# Donor counselling



## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Hiya  

Can anyone tell me what donor counselling involves?  We have booked our session for 12 Feb (a week after my lap) - do they just want to talk through the legalities and make sure you are going into it with your eyes open?  I know that for our clinic it is also the time when they start the process of trying to find a donor match.  I'm not worried about it, more curious as it may be that DP and I can consider some additional things before we go.

Thanks

Sally x


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## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi Sally
The counselling session you are going to have will be implications counselling, to make sure that you fully understand both the short and long term consequences of using donor conception and particularly in the case of same sex couples, the legal issues involved.  You should also see it as an opportunity to bring up any questions or anxieties you or your partner have.  I know a lot of people see the counselling session as yet another hurdle to jump through in order to get treatment and perhaps a bit of a threat, but a good counsellor does not lead or judge, s/he listens and maybe guides.  Unless they are extremely worried about the welfare of any child resulting from treatment (and it would have to be extreme) they would not share the content of the session with any of the clinical staff.
Hope this is helpful.
Olivia


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

They are likely to touch on things like if/when you will tell the child about their origins, that sort of thing.


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## CluckCluck (Jun 5, 2007)

Our donor counselling was in Australia, but pretty similar I should think. It covered making sure we understood about the treatment and its side effects, how our relationship might be effected, how open we would be about treatment, who we’ve told and what support we have, legal issues, etc etc.  It was all issues we'd thought about (and discussed) already.
Good luck with it.
best,
cluckcluck


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Thanks ladies, that's really helpful.


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## spooks (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi we had counselling and although it was to explain legalities/ issues etc. it really was more like a chat with a friend. It was so relaxed there wasn't anything to worry about and you can say anything you want without being judged. We did and still got tx!!! 
All the best, spooks


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Thanks Spooks, that's brilliant to hear.  I couldn't imagine anyone at IVF Wales giving us the Spanish inquisition (everyone has been so lovely) but you never know do you! Just want a successful outcome to my lap now and I will be ready to get started. x


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## SUSZY (Nov 3, 2006)

Hi we had counselling at Bham and she was really lovely, in fact she even mentioned FF to us and she was very encouraging about standing up for yourselves and making sure you had a plan b if the hospital mucked you about.
She said we seemed like a switched on couple who knew what we wanted so its best to make sure either of you is not going to ask a question/talk about something that the other does not know about - ie not the place to have disagreements about stuff - the best thing is on the way in the car - I know we thought they were going to ask how much contact we were going to have - as spoons said (Hi Spoons) it very relaxed and informal.
good luck
take care
susie


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## spooks (Oct 11, 2007)

Suzy - hope your counselling sessions help  
Cookie Sal -all the best for your lap


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## crazybabe (Apr 24, 2007)

Hiya Cookiesal

How are you, I am seeing the fertility counseller on the 30th Jan she is comming to visit me at home in the evening, I have a very big secision to make and although I am really the only person that can make that decision I feel that I really need to talk to someone, as you prob remember me from the IVF Wales thread we had a few treatments which all failed and I don't think that i can go through anymore stress and emotion, we want a child more than anything in the world but unforunatly our choices are limited either egg share now or adoption, at the moment after thinking about this over and over I think adoption maybe more for us than egg share as I know that I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Hope your keeping ok

Speak soon

Love

Crazybabe


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## SUSZY (Nov 3, 2006)

Hi Crazy - hope you are ok sweetheart - good luck in your decision making - its so hard i know - you know where I am if you need to chat darling.
Hi Spooks - hope you ok sweetheart
Hi cookiesal - hope the counselling goes well.
lots of love and luck to you
love
susie


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Thanks to you all for your lovely replies and good wishes- they are very much appreciated. x

Crazy -  Good luck with your appointment, I hope that it will help you to work out what is right for you.  Adoption is something I have been thinking about over the months as who knows what will happen / what they will find at my lap. Have you had a look at the Adoption section on FF?  There are some wonderful stories which I found really lovely to read. Sending you lots of love.  PM me whenever you want chick.

Sally xxx


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