# do you hav to be under 45years old for surrogacy



## mich10 (Mar 16, 2008)

Hello everybody, im new to this forum and am hoping you might beable to answer a question i have.

I have been looking into surrogacy and found that at COTS you both have to be under 45 years of age to be on their books, is this the rule for all surrogate agencies as im 33years but DH is going to be 45 this year so we are panicking to be honest?
Thanks for any replies
michXXX.


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Hi there!

As far as I'm aware, they won't stop you going on their books if you are over 45 years old.  However, they do point out that some surrogates may want to work with younger IPs.

Age is an issue for some surrogates, but not all by any means.  Why not find your own surrogate?  There are plenty of on line support groups where you can 'meet' your surro.  There are places were surrogates can place classified ads.  I'm not necessarily recommending either of these methods, but what I am saying is that it works for some, as long as you are careful and are aware of the pitfalls.

My first journey was as an independent, with both IPs, lates 30s/early 40's.  This new set I found independently but the clinic insisted I join one of large organisations.  My new IPs are mid/late 40s.

Its another route to consider, and as it costs little except your time, perhaps you could carefully consider it.

I hope thats helped a bit, but just PM me if you'd like me to expand on anything I've said.


Amanda


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## mich10 (Mar 16, 2008)

Thank you so much Amanda for replying, 
we are very interested in finding out more.  I have sent you a personal message but not sure if you have received it as in my outbox it did not show any message sent!  If you have not received it i will send you another one.
Thanks
michXXX.


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Yes got it and replied to you.

Just remember there is no right or wrong way into surrogacy.  What works for one may not work for another, so know your options and limitations and be realistic with your expectations.

Explore each and every way and one way will be right for you.

A basic rule is that its always better to work with a surrogate you actually like.  9 months is an awfully long time to know someone you can't stand the sight of.

And personally, I don't think 45 is very old at all.  I once had some IPs approach me and she was 51!

Take care and good luck


Amanda


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi, 
Surrogacy UK is a support organisation which you could consider joining. They do not have an age limit, although of course some surrogates might not consider working with older couples.
SUK works differently to COTS in that they organise conferences and social events across the country so that IP's and surrogates can meet in an informal setting, and get to know each other.
Their motto is friendship first, surrogacy second. 
They also have a very active message board, which you can post on and make friends and get support that way.
We had our daughter through SUK, and we are still in regular contact with our surrogate, and hope to be for a long time.
Surrogacy UK are at www.surrogacyuk.org
Hope this helps.
EJJB
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/links


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

Hiya

One other point to remember is that even though your partner is a bit older, at 33, you are really quite young for the surrogacy game - many couples go through years of trying for a family in the traditional way before deciding on surrogacy so most are in their late 30s or early 40s.  I think the advice you've had so far has been great - if you want to talk to people in similar situations, in an informal atmosphere, just go along to a SUK social or conference on a no commitment basis and you'll find out loads of information.  There's a conference htis weekend in Retford actually.....

F


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