# Heartbreaking



## Loopylou29 (Mar 4, 2013)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3264555/Couple-baby-adoption-wrongly-accused-abuse-launch-attempt-win-custody-warned-never-child-again.html#article-3264555

This heart breaking for both sets of parents involved although.

The implications for the child regarding life story work is enormous.

/links


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

The thing  I think  is missed  is that  the  issue  here is with  medical  professionals not social  services.  Ss are acting  on  information  medical staff give  them. Some how the adopterd always  seem to be  cast as the ones who've  done wrong for want  of  a better  word. Very sad for  everyone.  I  hope  better  medical checks  are done  in future  xx


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

It's just awful.  I do think, much as we hate delays, that adoptions in this sort of circumstance shouldn't go ahead while criminal cases are outstanding, where there is no other evidence.


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

I heard this on the radio this morning. Such an awful situation for all concerned. The thought if it is very upsetting. I agree that the medical professionals need better systems in place. X


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

It's awful and I really don't understand why the care / placement and adoption proceedings were concluded before the criminal case was. Seems to be a case where delay would have been absolutely justified. Can't imagine how the adoptive parents and birth parents must be feeling


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

I've just had an awful conversation with someone about this who said 'I think the baby should be returned to biological parents, I don't think the adoptive parents will love it as much as they did'   


Why are people so judgemental and so naive


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Because they don't understand, Saila.  It's hard, really, to step outside your own experience and feel others' joy and pain.  True empathy is rare.

I think, too, that people often struggle to find the right words to express what they're trying to say.  I don't think it's completely false or unreasonable to say that the adoptive parents might not ever feel the same kind of love for a child as the birth parents who have lost that child with such a burden of injustice and betrayal.

Not more, not less, not better, not worse.  Just different.

Hugs to all, for the sadness this story and these thoughts create.  Not easy reading.


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

I just watched Denise Robertson, the This Morning Agony Aunt discussing this case on TV.  I cant believe the vitriol and hate she has for us adopters.  Their child was placed with them following a court of law deciding adoption was the right plan for the child.  They did not go and snatch the child away from birth parents!  Like you say AoC I don't think you can necessarily say that one set of parents has more love than another.  It is a really difficult situation and all we can hope is that any decision about where the child lives is made about what is right for the child.
I wish all parties a lot of love as its going to be a tough time
Gonna give my 2 an extra big squeeze as I know we are lucky to have them but equally I know they have birth parents who love them too, even though they cant safely care for them


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Well said, LIH.


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

Having a child who was removed for similar reasons I find this difficult to understand. Why did they wait so long to place the child with adoptive parents (having been removed at 6 weeks) but not wait a bit longer for the trial to be over? Did they not carry out all the necessary blood tests to look for innocent explanations? My lo had extensive repeated tests.  The sw on this morning got shot down for saying there could be more to it but we only know what is reported in the papers.

I feel for the birth parents but would not like to see the adoption order overturned. What would that mean for any of us. How must the adoptive parents be feeling with people saying how can they keep the child.


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Snapdragon, I was also thinking there's probably more to the story....or I guess I hope there is....


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## Kelloggs (Aug 15, 2011)

There has to be more to this! If it was a condition then why did he not continue to bleed and bruise while in foster care? I think it's an awful situation but luckily it's rare xx


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

It's really upsetting hearing all of the news on this.... Bracing for the anti adoption brigade to start spouting their unwanted opinions!!  Normally it's how lovely, what a wonderful thing..... I always think we are very selfish, we wanted a child and felt we could do a good job in raising some children in a loving home, giving them a secure future, but ultimately, we have found ourselves in a suituation where adoption was a real option for us, and one I wish we had done years ago!!!

Currently no one has not mentioned what's best for this child on the to this morning.  It's a horrendous suituation for both birth parents and adoptive parents.

It makes me nervous how a case like this will highly adoption negatively in the press and how it will prolong things for children in care.  No adopter, snatches children nor removes a child.  In this case I feel for ss acting on wronged medical advice, getting a bad press.... Again a failing of 'joined up' thinking.

Every day I am thankful to my lo birth parents, I wouldn't have him with out them.  He is the sum of us all, and how precious he is and proud are we.  I constantly say to dh, why couldn't they have got their shizzle together......  I have the privilege of getting all of these precious moments, and you can't ever get them back.  

I am just waffling.  Just a sad sad situation xx


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