# Explaining to Donor's children



## sonia7 (Feb 9, 2007)

Hi, my friend has 4 children and she has offered to donate her eggs to me.

I have now come to terms that I may need a donor egg, but how do you explain to her children that mummy is going to donate her eggs to me. And how would they react ? And would they think its their half brother / sister. 

Because if my friend and DH did   (which they wouldn't, DH pulled a right funny face this morning when I mentioned about if him and my friend   when we were discussing this donor thing) and she became pregnant then yes the baby would be their half brother or sister. 

BUT seeing her egg and my DH   is being put together in the clinic then put into me, would her children question it about the brother/sister thing. Don't know, I think I would question it when I was their age. 

My friend's children are twins aged 15 year old girls, an 11 year old girl and a baby girl.

Thankyou for your help

Sonia xx


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

It's hard to say how they'd feel. Can only tell them and see. I have twins via friend/donor but our DSs are only 5 so they're not very complicated creatures.

But I'm aware when we all go away for a w/e next week, donors sister is genetic aunt and her children genetic cousins. I can't see that's harmful at all.. we'll play it by ear. It's new to us all.

Maybe it will be very important to my babies, maybe it won't. We can only give them the info and let them work through it.


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## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi Sonia
DG is right, we cannot know how children/young people will interpret a known donor situation as they all grow up and mature.  Many donor conceived children are very interested in half siblings -actually much more interested in them than in their donor.  All parents can do is be honest with all the children about what has happened - in fact the 15 year olds and 11 year old could have it explained to them beforehand.  They might well be thrilled!  The National Gamete Donation Trust have developed a leaflet to help donors share information with their own children about what they have done.  It will soon be available on their web site www.ngdt.co.uk
Olivia


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