# the psychological and emotional pain of infertility



## ellemay32 (Aug 23, 2012)

Have any of you ladies ever been offered any support from professionals with regards to psychological and emotional pain of infertility?

I understand everyone deals with it in their own way, but from my own experience I thought when I went for my inital appointment I would have been offered support on a emotional level ( I suppose I was naive) but it was all matter of fact and this is the situation so suck it up and get on. At the time I didnt want to hear it like that and was an emotional wreck. My other half didnt know what to do and I cried each and every time I went for an appointment. It has only been recently that I found this website but I wasnt given any info regards to any support groups etc. Looking back I feel the service was poor and not really in tune with how people feel when they initally find out that they have a real problem.  I started at uhw but have now been transfered to bristol, have anyone had different experiences??


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## ANDI68 (Aug 17, 2007)

Hi ellemay,

I asked to see a counsellor after several fails but wish that I hadn't.  I wanted someone to give me a positive mind to gain strength to do it all over again but I left the appointment feeling even worse.  I don't know whether I expected a magic wand but I didn't want to be advised to save my money and spend it on us. 7 IVF's down the line we now have 16 month old boy/girl twins and even now I get emotional at the talk of our journey, the pain of infertility will never go away as it's a part of my life that I can't erase.  Hopefully in time this will lessen but atm it's still very raw even with our wonderful outcome.  If you need help getting your head around it ask for it, I'm sure not all counsellors are like the one that 'counselled' me.

I thought all posts got a reply on FF and was surprised to see yours unanswered, I don't come on her much these days ... good luck and stay strong x


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## A J (Oct 2, 2011)

Ellemay...not sure if you are still following this post but I have just stumbled across it. It took me 4 m/c and 3 failed ivf before i was offered counselling and I had to ask for it in the end.

I wasn't able to get any fertility treatment on the nhs due to my age yet had nhs investigations for recurrent m/c and I still see the consultant every 8 months or so (for what its worth!). He cant suggest anything else physically so I spend all my time and money doing treatment and investigations myself. I did ask at one of the appointments if counselling is available and the reply was 'Yes, of course' so why wasn't I offered it as standard? 
Anyway, apparently this is a service that the nhs feel is important and I have found the sessions extremely invaluable. My counsellor who I have seen over the last 18 months (sometimes on a weekly basis) has seen me through some really tough times and I am so grateful that this service is available. 
If you dont ask, you wont get....please try...and I know that FF has been an excellent source of support which I also couldn't do without.

Good luck to you

AJ xx


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## wales06 (Aug 9, 2010)

Hi Ellamay, i am going for my planning tx appt at uhw on the 13 nov for our second and final go.  I am really not coping well with this and crying all the time.  I know it sounds a bit mad but im just so unsure of how i will feel with either outcome.  I petrified of it working and fearful of pushing dh away if it does'nt.  As you said there seems to be know help offered so i have booked myself in with my gp on the 5 of nov (which would have been my due date from prev tx   ) to have a chat and see if she can refer me to anyone or suggest something that may help.  Hopefully you have a good relationship with your gp and can do the same. xxx


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## Daizymay (May 13, 2010)

hi all. I think all clinics have to offer counselling. I recommend it 100%. This is such a long and lonely journey at times. If you are sourcing your own..make sure they are a 'fertility' counsellor. If at uhw / crgw just ask at the desk to be referred. I can't fault the counsellor there. Pm me if you want her direc number. Good luck everyone. DM x


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