# Hi, I'm new. TTC #2 for 2 years



## tori_uk (Jan 30, 2013)

Hi all,

I have just joined as I could really do with some support right now. My DS was born in Dec 2008 after a healthy pregnancy and natural birth. We conceived him after just 2 months. We have been TTC for over 2 years now and I am so low. We went to the fertility clinic and tests showed that all is fine with me but my husband has low sperm concentration at 11 million. I am still shocked about it. I don't know whether to keep trying or whether to give up and accept that DS was a miracle child. I have tried talking to friends - none have been particularly sympathetic tbh, they just say "well at least you have one". I am a stay-at-home mum and dying to have another. 
Thanks for reading - any advice welcome.  

Tori


----------



## chelters (Jan 29, 2013)

Hi Tori,

In 2009 my husband was tested and had a low sperm concentration of 2million but when the doctor phoned to tell us the bad news we had just found out we were pregnant. The doctor was a little shocked but didn't go into a lot of detail about the test results due to our good news. Unfortunately we had a miscarriage at the 12wks but then went on to conceive our daughter on first month of trying in 2010. Due to having two conceptions we didn't really think about having husband retested when it came to trying for a second child and also we didn't fully understand the test results anyway. If we had we would have sought help a lot earlier. We have been now been trying for 14mths and my husband was retested in December and now has a count of 4million. We went to fertility clinic last Friday and were told that our daughter was a miracle and that IVF is our best hope. I cried. 

I too struggle to believe our daughter should be an only child. I have a deep desire to have a brother or sister for her. After 14months we are emotionally and physically drained. A lot of my friends are now pregnant with their second. We feel like we have wasted the last year trying. I am having a laparoscopy next week and am praying that we conceive naturally the month after and wont have to start IVF. 

I know that I am truly blessed to have a daughter but this is so tough  I'm struggling to get my head round it. Friends say I am strong but not sure I am.

Not sure there's any advice in my text, Sorry!.....just my own experience/story x x


----------



## tori_uk (Jan 30, 2013)

Thanks for your reply Chelters. I hope things work out well for you going forward. Best of luck. xxx


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Tori, i am new to ff, I know how you feel... my son is four and a half now, we did struggle to conceive him ( but problem back then was with me- low progesterone, my husband was fine). We have been ttc for two years and now my  husband has low sperm count and I have low egg reserve- we started ivf last month for the first time. Husbands count was 11 million then went up to 22 million but with low motility. His came up with him taking preconception vitamin, omega 3 supplements (1300)and L-carnitine and L-argenine and high dose vit e- all from holland and Barrett and they published an article about these supplements last year in relation to helping low sperm counts. Also no alcohol, no smoking proven to increase sperm counts?? my husband has had to give up drinking budweiser to his annoyance!! Staff in holland & Barrett were v helpful. Since taking the supplements, the sperm count has gone up but we still needed ivf as I have low egg reserve as well- but these supplements may be worth a try for your husband maybe?? I know exactly how you feel- so many people have said the same to me 'well at least you have one'. Have you got a follow up appt with a clinic? What are your options?


----------



## nicola_h (Nov 6, 2011)

Hi Tori, I am also new to FF! My DS was born in September 2008 after 3 years ttc with unexplained infertility, we started trying again when he turned 3 months old because of the long wait 1st time around and we are still trying 4 years and 2 months later. We have both had tests and everything was completely normal except that I have a slightly shorter than normal luteal phase. I've had a year of Clomid but that didn't help and I can't help thinking that if Clomid can't get me pregnant then nothing can! My friends/family are exactly the same and I think if one more person tells me how "lucky" I am to have a child I may scream! I know how lucky I am and I know how wonderful my DS is but it doesn't stop me desperately wanting another one, I have no idea what we are going to do now I have a feeling we may have to admit defeat soon and give up. My partner doesn't want to do IVF so that's out of the question (I would do it tomorrow) so there really isn't anywhere left for us to go, I am also starting to think that my ds was some sort of miracle child! some days (like today) I feel like there isn't a single person in the world who understands how I feel. 

No advice on the low sperm concentration but I can sympathise lots.. I hope that you all get your bfp's soon xxx


----------



## Genki (Feb 5, 2013)

Hi Tori,

I'm also new to ff, this is my first post / reply.  

I know how you feel and how frustrating it is, how it feels like everyone around is getting pregnant with no.2, how upsetting and stressful it is ttc every month.  It's so hard, isn't it?!  My DS was born in June 2010 and we tried for 15 months before conceiving him naturally so I knew the second one might be difficult too.  We have tried for 2 years to conceive number 2 without success.  It turns out I have low ovarian reserve.  I'm 36 (37 this month).  We have just gone through our first round of IVF - I was really apprehensive about it and kept hoping we would fall naturally like last time, but in early January my husband went to work overseas for 6 months so I knew it was either do IVF (with DH's frozen sperm) or wait to be 6 months older to keep trying naturally - I really didn't want to waste 6 months so I went for it.  I'm now in my 2ww.  (I'm lucky that I live down the road from my Mum so she has helped me with injections, moral support, looking after DS etc while DH is away). 

However it turns out, I'm really glad I did it. It's not as bad as I thought it would be - to be honest I think it's probably easier for people with secondary infertility because we've all gone through childbirth and nothing's as bad as that!! Also for me it's been easier than the difficulty of ttc every month and timing doing it and the stress of that! Chelters - if you do decide to go for it I can honestly say the process has not been that bad. Obviously it is hard but it feels so good to be taking a positive step forward about it.  

Tori - Re sperm count, my brother in law had a sperm count of 9 million and they've conceived 2 children naturally.  

Tori - Have you considered IVF / is that an option for you?  We had to do ICSI as when they defrosted DH's sperm they had suffered a bit from the defrosting process and had low motility.  I presume ICSI can be useful for low sperm count too.  

Nicola - is there any chance of persuading your partner? My DH took some persuading.  The process is really not that bad for the men. 

Obviously the big downside is the cost, as we don't get IVF on the NHS having had a baby already. Oh, for anyone going for it my advice would be don't waste time getting tests on the NHS, I feel like I wasted so much time waiting for test results from them (4 months for one blood test!) thinking I would save a few pennies here and there - but then when I finally went to the private clinic they wanted to do most of the tests again anyway and all I had done was waste time, which in my situation I didn't really have to spare. 

Petal82 - how are you getting on?  They retrieved 6 eggs from me, all mature, 5 fertilised, on day 5 I had 1 blastocyst and 1 morula that was becoming a blastocyst so they put both back in.  Unfortunately none of the others made it to blastocyst so we had nothing to freeze (my clinic only freezes blastocysts).  I bought loads of supplements for DH too, but he wasn't brilliant at remembering to take everything.  He's in the armed forces so not always at home even before he went overseas so hard to monitor him!!


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Genki, I really hope it you get a positive result. How is the 2ww going? When can you test? I totally agree with everything you said- it's like me talking when I read your post. Also, nothing worse than people saying ' oh well at least you have one' makes me savage!! People just dont understand though. How many follies were on your scan at this stage can you remember? Curious as I have low ovarian reserve too. I agree with everything you say re you are glad you have had ivf- I am feeling a bit more rational this week and totally feel the same ( although last week I doubt I would have said that when my hormones were chaotic). We have gone private too as not entitled to a free 'go' on nhs as we already have DS- which I think is crazy. However can't fault our clinic (so far so good) as you say very efficient and worth paying for. Not sure i will say that if is doesnt work. Did you have local or GA for EC? I'm just having local/sedation. 

Im getting on ok thanks- went to clinic on tues and had scan, currently I have 8 follies on right and 5 on left- I'm back in for a scan on fri to review follies/size/numbers and then I will hopefully get a date for EC early next week. I'm praying it will work out but don't want to think too far ahead. Genki- feel free to PM me or email me as we are in similar situation. Praying for your 2ww to go quickly with a positive at the end.  

Tori- would you consider ivf? Maybe try supplements first?! Did increase my DH count. 
Nicola- my DH took some persuading too, think all men need a little nudge in the direction we want!! 

Petal x


----------



## nicola_h (Nov 6, 2011)

Genki and Petal I'm wishing you lots of luck with your IVF, really hope that it works for you. 

I really would love to give it a go and have lots of information from various clinics but dp is adamant that we aren't going to try it, he has two children from his previous marriage so for him having another baby (which would be number 4) isn't a priority but trying to get him to understand how much I want/need number 2 is like banging my head against a wall. He does want another one but he just doesn't have that "need" if that makes sense. I'm going to bring it up again in a couple of weeks and see if he has changed his mind!! I have bought some natural progesterone cream to see if that can help lengthen my LP, this is the first month of using it though so I will have to see what happens (probably nothing)! 

So good to talk to other people about this, my friends just do no understand! 

xxx


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Nicola- keep in touch and let us know how you get On. definitely try discussing it again with dp. Good idea re cream worth a try for sure. Good luck xxxx


----------



## Genki (Feb 5, 2013)

I always had 4 follies all on the LHS right up to a couple of scans before EC, when the sonographer noticed 2 on the RHS which might make it - and they did, and all 6 turned out to be mature.  I think they had me on maximum stims, they put me up to that after the second scan.  8 and 5 sounds really good to me for low reserve, not that I know about anyone's experience other than mine! 

I had sedation for EC, but I was completely knocked out by it, fast asleep. They said that from my perspective, it would feel like a GA even though it wasn't one (the difference being I was breathing unassisted).  I was really nervous about it, but it was absolutely fine, it was a lovely woozy feeling as I drifted off, and I came round like I was coming out of a lovely sleep.  I would not be anxious about it at all next time if there is one. 

My blood test date is booked for 18th Feb but they said I should test at home first and if it's a negative cancel the blood test as the doctors are very confident in the HPTs.  I don't think I am going to test early, I'm going to resist that and I'm probably going to test on Sunday 17th which will be 14 days after my 5dt.  Aaaagh!  Boobs feel sore and feel slight pressure in uterus... but I feel this way every month we ttc naturally so I don't think it means anything.  I always convince myself that I am pregnant and that something is different each month so I'm not letting myself get too excited.  I've got DH to agree we can try again if it doesn't work this time as I think that will make it much much easier to cope with a BFN.  If that happens I'm going to use the time till he is back to bring down my BMI (cause that's so easy!!) and get in shape for the next attempt (oh and save up!) and give DS masses of attention and do things we couldn't do if I was pregnant - anyway, having a back up plan makes me feel much better about my test. 

2ww is hard though - I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can't help myself googling away, I know it's not a good idea! 

Petal82 - Good luck for tomorrow's scan, let us know how you get on.    

Tori / Nicola - are you using OPKs?


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Genki i am totally the same - every month I convince myself that I may be pregnant as I always feel different one way or another. It's just a way of keeping hope alive I think!! Good idea to have a back up plan- I have already decided we are going abroad if our cycle does not work. We are not sure about a second cycle at the moment... Still thinking. We do not want it to eat away at these young years with DS  sacrificing holidays and so forth. Spending money that could be spent on us as a family?? So hard. (not sure it's a good idea to think negatively but have to have something else to occupy my mind). Google is addictive as well. Thanks for the info / advice re EC sedation, has made me feel a little better. 

Hope your 2ww goes quickly. At least you have DS to occupy you, our DS keeps us going!! More like runs us ragged!!   

Xxx


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Hi- just wanted to let you know I had scan on fri - got 14 follies altogether all look good and lining of uterus looks good too. I am going in for ec on tues so we will see what that brings. Feeling pretty bloated now and uncomfortable so will be happy when eggs are out of me and in the lab working their magic hopefully   

Hope you are all ok. 

Genki how are you doing? 

Petal xxx


----------



## Genki (Feb 5, 2013)

Petal82 that sounds really good.  14 is great! Best of luck for tomorrow. 

I'm OK - this 2ww is so hard! I'm on a lot of progesterone which is making me hormonal and means I can't really analyse symptoms as they could be caused by the progesterone.  Currently debating whether to test early - my clinic says 14 days after transfer (even though it was a 5dt) but everywhere else seems to say 10 days is enough. 

Good luck for tomorrow! xx


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Genki- oh it's hard to know what to do re testing??! I would be tempted to ride it out for the full 2ww as id be too scared to test early??! but i am a wuss! Let me know what the result is.   for a BFP for you. 

Had ec today- got 11 so I'm praying they work their magic tonight in the lab- will wait for the call tomorrow to say what's happened overnight. It's nervewracking. Honestly I feel drained. Sedation was fine, slightly uncomftable but nothing more than that. Just relieved that hurdle is over. Await the next ones now. Never know what's going to be thrown at us on this ivf journey. 

Take care and stay positive xxxx


----------



## Genki (Feb 5, 2013)

Petal82 - well done on your 11, that's really great.  Fingers crossed for you today.  I can understand you feeling drained - it is a completely exhausting process mentally and physically.

I bought tests but haven't tested and don't think I'm going to, not yet anyway.  Had pre-AF like cramps last night which has not made me optimistic but I know you can't really read into any symptoms anyway.  

Aaaagh!  

Good luck xxx


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Genki- try not to read too much into the cramps as they can mean all sorts- implantation? Hard to be rational I know. Had a call from the the clinic and we have had 9 out of the 11 have fertilised- we have to call them again on fri morning to see how they're doing and what they look like- maybe et on fri/sun depending on what they look like on fri morning! Nervous!! Try to resist the temptation to test, I bet its hard but best to test on the day the clinic have recommended to have optimum result reading. Stay positive, rest and take it easy! X


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

Genki- just to let you know I had one 5 day top grade blast transferred today- none of the others made it to frosties which is disappointing. How are things with you? I'm on anxious 2ww now- never thought I'd get here xxx


----------



## Genki (Feb 5, 2013)

Hi Petal82, good news on the blastocyst that was put back.  From what I've read, a 5 day transfer is much better than a 3 day transfer.  Sorry to hear about the other ones.  We didn't have any to freeze either and it is disappointing.  However, you got one in which is great and the thing to focus on now.  You've come so far.  Good luck with the 2ww! It's hard! What did your clinic say about how easy to take it? Mine said take v easy for 3 days or so. xx


----------



## Petal82 (Feb 2, 2013)

My clinic said carry on as normal but don't swim, run, or do heavy lifting- however I plan on taking it very easy for 2-3 days. Have been lying down all of today and intend to do the same over the next couple of days. Feel like I need to optimise my chances. My clinic said if its going to work it'll work regardless. It's just so stressful. I can't believe we are both now on the 2ww! Wonder what will happen now- I hate the unknown. Scary to be in the 2ww even though this is the point we all hope to get to. How easy have you been taking it? Xxxx


----------

