# I can't believe what Ive received......



## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

When we arranged contact way back when dd came home, we agreed to exchange letterbox once a year, plus accept birthday cards.
The actual letterbox is earlier in the year, and I'd been expecting the birthday card/s any time, and sure enough they've landed on my doormat today.

First of all, I'm angry that not only have I received 4 cards, with them, I've received 6 photos and another letter. This to me counts as letterbox contact. And we never agreed to it twice a year.
Would it be right of me to approach SS and advise them that the birthday contact should be just cards, as originally agreed, and that we won't accept anything else?? Surely the person responsible for the letterbox should have known this and queried it with the BF before sending to us.
Now we've got these, I will obviously keep them with all other letterbox.
But surely I'm entitled to draw the line somewhere.

And the main thing that's freaked me out, is the contents of the letter.
SS know that BF had been looking into moving into our area, and we've been waiting for any developments. This letter tells me they've moved house.
Doesn't give me their new address, so I'm left reeling now. Have they moved here? It's now the weekend and I can't contact anyone at SS to ask advice etc. I thought that SS are supposed to scan the content of letterbox before forwarding on. Surely if this news has been read, they might have thought to contact me first to warn me.

 

   DD's birthday party tomorrow and I don't want to let this over shadow anything. I feel let down.

Any thoughts or advice please??

x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Oh ever, what a shock, how awful for you hun   we have got our letterbox contact this month and i have no idea if bf will even pick it up let alone respond   so i could recieve a letter from them any day  

i would deffo get in touch with your sw on monday and request that if letters are going to be sent with cards that the other letterbox be stopped as once a year is all that you agreed to and you do not want your dd disrupted twice a year when she is old enough to read them herself 

pam xx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Ever

Firstly massive hugs to you 

This to me counts and 2 contacts.to me letter box is a letter, brithday is a card only.

I can only tell you how our SS dept run their contacts- letterbox is a letter/photos however they are read to make sure no detail that could upset you esp if you know they may be moving to near you.

Please please dont let this upset you today.

I personally would ring your SS dept now as they must have someone on call and just speak to them about what is done when a contact letter is sent in before it comes to you.

Are you fully aware too that contact is not legally required and it is your choice to do this.

Massive hugs

xxxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi ever


Yes you are right to be angry!

YES we all accept that our children have birth parents and with out them we would not have our wonderful children but when we agree to do things for the best of all concerned then we need to stick to what we agreed.

I'm lucky in that I know longer have to do contact letters.............see the other post about contact letters!

Our DD was only 1 when we received her first and only presents of BPs 3 months after her first birthday, we said we would accept them on this one occasion but the BPS were to be told that information and they were no longer to send cards on with daughter on them as this would just confuse DD when she was older.........they never sent anything after that & they have not bothered to collect any contact letters for the last 3 years I have now found out!!!

Sending you a hug

Love
Andrea
xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

I agree with Andrea

You have a right to feel angry, you've been through a very unsettling experience.  Give SS a ring as soon as you can and let them know that you want the situation clarified as soon as possible.

Try and put it out of your mind the best you can until Monday and enjoy you DD's birthday.

love
Cindy


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