# Feel so guilty... Why isn't my daughter enough?



## Kinab (Oct 28, 2009)

Hi all, in just waiting to start my next fyke of Ivf hoping fir another miracle after the birth if my DD 15 months ago. 

All week I have had the most awful feeling of worry and dread about this cycle... Not because I'm not desperate for another baby, but because I've just realised that I'm overwhelmed by a guilt that I'm so desperate! I love my daughter more than anything, but is it wrong to put some much energy into number two when she us so young! 

I always thought that after having my daughter any future treatment would never seem so desperate, but the truth is feel worse than ever!! And then I'm thrown into panic that my negative feelings will make things not work!  Am I the only one, I know I'm
So lucky, am I the only one who feels like this? 

Not really expecting answers... Just helps to write it down!


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## Shooting star (Apr 12, 2007)

Hi kinab

We have been having very similar discussions on 'is it too early' thread started by Sue33. Come and join us if you want for a chat and see what we have posted so far.

SS


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

KInab

I know exactly where you are coming from. My DD is my world and whilst she is our little miacle (it still baffles the Doctors how she got here!!) we are looking for ICSI now and will have to self fund.

I feel so guilty she about wanting another when she is so precious and special and more than I could ever have wished for. Yet this flippin' feeling just wont go away!! She could have so much financially on her own - education, toys, holidays etc but we seem intent to potentially throw money away if it doesnt work!! (I am MORE than aware money isnt everything - I am just saying it as we wouldnt normally borrow thousands of pounds and fritter it away on something with such bad odds!!) 

And I worry emotionally that we will get so upset if it doesnt work she might get neglected in some way. Whilst I wouldn't do this intentionally what if I did by mistake?

Any how, sorry to have waffled on. Just wanted to say I feel similar to you. Big   

Shrimper xx


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## sanfrancisco (May 15, 2010)

Snap,feel exactly the same.Ds is almost 3,absaloutely desperate for a sibling,but as you see from my signature not much luck yet .You are normal,unfortunately the yearning does'nt go away after 1.I have just had a laparoscopy to discover that I now have tubal problems added to the mix,I suspect from a botched egg collection ,HSG was crystal clear 6 months ago.I am crying a lot of the time and am worried how this will affect Ds.I explained to him not to touch my tummy due to laparoscopy and he said mam had ivf!!!! I was gutted,someone has big ears. Go for it,you have time on your side,your daughter is enough,but you love her and being a mummy so much,of course you want to do it again,it's normal   xx


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## Twopence (Dec 14, 2008)

San Francisco   to you.

I am so sorry you are crying so much at the moment and feeling so down, wish I could say something helpful but I am not very good at that sort of thing   

I have only got one tube and DH has fertility problems and I feel like all I ever think about is IF. I told myself I wouldnt miss out on seeing DD grow up trying to get a No.2 but I dont seem so good at it so far...

Good luck everyone. Chin up. You are all amazing women and have made it this far and will carry on being so strong in the future. Your children are lucky to have you as role models

xx


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