# Put down the deposit, now having a wobble



## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Hello ladies, it's been a hell of a road to get to where we are now - and that is a really good place. 

After our third & last failure last October, I really did think that I was in the moving on category.  I suffered very badly with depression and our marriage nearly broke down.  It has been a horrendous journey and, until fairly recently, I honestly didn't think that I would find a way out of it but we have done.

..... and now, within the space of two weeks the impossible has happened and we have been offered the money for one last try.  I can't believe that it is happening, I am uber excited but just a little bit terrified all at the same time.  We put down the deposit last night and suddenly I feel all jittery about it.  I'm really worried that it has taken us so long to get over the last failure and here we are about to start it all again.

I've been through enough cycles to know about the ups and downs but my depression and the state of our marriage was never so bad as our last one.  It could all go amazingly and be a dream come true, but I'm so worried about putting us under more pressure when we only got out of our last rut by the skin of our teeth.

I can't imagine not trying this one last try, a real no regrets do everything right try, so that then I can say well it just wasn't to be rather than dwell on the things that could just have caused our BFNs.  I'm 41 and my stats aren't great, it feels like now or never, then perhaps I really can move on.  

Oh, I hope that I am making the right decision and not causing us more heartache than we can cope with.  It does feel so different but if you've been through the depression of thinking that it is truly all over then perhaps you can understand?  I'm not sure what I want to hear really, I just wanted to say that I'm a little scared xxx


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## chooshoos (Dec 18, 2014)

Dear Molly,
I think a wobble is absolutely natural, it's an exciting scary journey you are embarking on and you're right to be concerned about the impact on your relationship - it sounds like you both need a bit of TLC - but presumably you have come to this decision jointly and are both in with both feet, you have to stay positive there is much evidence that being positive and upbeat, being convinced it will happen and visualising helps and certainly the contrary too.

I also find making plans for the time afterwards helps, especially tricky to cancel plans because Sod's law everything works out well and you'll have to! 

Look after yourself and your lovely Hubbie 
X


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## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Awww my lovely Molly!! Of course you're scared, why wouldn't you be after everything?! But, I think, do this you must. You and DH will be ok, your mindset is quite different now. You may feel a bit like Humpty, but, you have put yourself back together, you've overlapped bits with that marvellous insight of yours so are stronger than the last time and you've created a safety net around you. None of us really know how we will respond to another go when we think we've grieved our last; it could be more horrendous than ever OR we could utilise what we have learned along the way to heal more completely. Either way, (I think) try we must. Sending half my positivity your way (have to keep the other half for myself!!  ), always here for you and have everything crossed for you.xxxxx


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## Guest (Mar 7, 2015)

Wishing you the best for this Molly!   Fingers crossed for you from me too!   xxx


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## Greyhoundgal (Oct 7, 2013)

Molly - perfectly natural to have a wobble especially after all you went through   Wishing you all the very best for this cycle and getting your long awaited BFP  

Grey xx


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