# So here you all are!!



## Hevlaw (Apr 4, 2013)

I'm new to this site, and have been posting everywhere in the hope that I will meet some like-minded mummies! 
My wonderful, wonderful son is three on Friday.  We were so lucky to conceive him on our first cycle of IVF.
We had a cycle of IVF in hopes of a sibling for him in January this year (same donor sperm) but had BFN and also after another IVF in March.
Age is not on my side and we have one more attempt left - we are very lucky that my in-laws are paying for us.

I struggle to get people to understand why I want another baby so much.  Yes, our son is amazing and we are SO lucky to have him.  These two failed attempts have made us realise just how much of a miracle he is. Yet, I don't want him to be an only child.  I feel this for so many reasons, and yet people don't get it.  I could scream if I hear 'oh, never mind, you're just lucky to have Jack' once more.  No-one ever says to a couple trying to conceive a sibling naturally how lucky they are to have one child.

I wonder whether I am struggling more as it was so easy with him.  I guess I'm shocked it is so hard this time (although not hard compared to what some people go through) and feel so lost.

DH is dealing with it completely differently to me, which I understand but I feel so alone.  I'm struggling to function each day, am loosing my temper with my son, and feel I have nothing to look forward to.  I got over the cycle in January so easily by focusing on doing another cycle straight away, but now, I don't know if I can find the strength to do another one.


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## mierran (Apr 24, 2009)

Happy birthday to Jack.

I know what you mean. Esp as i have the two - and one of each - i have had a lot of family and friends tell me they dont understand why i would want any more. Have i not thought about childcare? Can i afford another one? What if it's twins again.
Erm yes, prob not but who can,  and i'll deal with it in the same way as i did 1st time round.

I really hope it's 3rd time lucky for number 2 for you. Have you considered moving clinics? And have you had any immune bloods or a hysteroscopy done? Immune issues can develope post preg. Has it been day 3 transfers? 

Anyway, good luck. And you're not alone. 
X x


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## Hevlaw (Apr 4, 2013)

Hi and thanks for your reply!!  I have thought about looking into moving clinic, but I feel SO comfortable where we are, I know all the staff now and I think that being relaxed, knowing the rooms etc is important.  Also, the thought of travelling into London fills me with dread!! Although, there is a part of me that wonders if I'll get better results at a diffent clinic, but then if I could afford it, I could hop around all of them and it still might not work!!
Immune and clotting tests are on my list of things to discuss with the consultant when we go for our follow up in a couple of weeks - it's the only thing I can think of! Even though last time we only had one fairly good embryo put back, it had divided in just the two hours since we spoke to the embryologist to agree for transfer, and I felt pregnant.  I think they are implanting and then a problem is occurring very early on, I just don't have any proof of this!!
I have always had day three transfers.  I have never had very many embryos - and it's been easy for the embryologists to choose the best two.  And the ones they have kept have not gone to blastocyst so I trust their judgement.  Having said that, DH and I have discussed going to blastocyst stage next time, even if we only have a couple of embryos in the hope to avoid the hurt of thinking I'm pregnant.


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## eibhlin (Mar 4, 2009)

Hi Hevlaw,

Great to hear from you   sorry you find yourself here, but you're among friends with similar stories, who are always delighted to chat. 

It's blooming lonely at times - I was watching inoffensive Pingu with my two and a half year old miracle tonight and yes, even he seems to have a sibling Pinga - is there no escape! Between Lola and Charlie, Pingu and Dora (we were having a very lazy evening) only Dora seems to be an only child. I am clearly obsessed LOL.

I'm sorry to hear about your recent cycles, it is very tough. Totally relate to being comfy with your clinic (we're about to go into natural cycle #2 after 2 failed FETs and 1 natural ICSI and like yourself am wondering if it is time to move on - but they did give us our miracle too). 

Everyone I know seems to be pregnant, tbh I'm cool with that, thankfully and welcome all the little ones, yet also hope that someday soon we'll be blessed again...you know yourself...

Babydust to all, mind yourself and we're always about for a yap 

x


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## Tiny21 (Jul 24, 2007)

Hi
We are in the same position, so want a sibling for our little boy and currently in the dreaded 2ww again! 2ww number 10   3rd attempt for a sibling 


I just thought I would post as we have changed clinics, our local clinic, when we first found out OH has 0 sperm, all those years ago, had a very long wait for sperm and we were already 'getting' on in age so we went off for IUIs at clinics that had sperm then managed to get our NHS funding transferred and were and are very happy with the clinic we were at who gave us our little boy. After 2 failed attempts for a sibling, one clinical preg and one where I felt nothing happened, and we had terrible fertilisation I felt a change was needed but I didn't really know what. We are not in an area with many clinics, apart from our local one, all the rest are well over an hour away which adds to the stress greatly, especially when you have a little one to juggle and no local family to help out.


I called our local clinic who now have some (admittedly not a lot but some) and got a referral from my GP, we were very happy with the service and the consultation and the fact that it was 30 ish minutes away made such a huge difference to all the appointments. I felt very positive about the change, I gave them all the data from my previous txs . We concluded that I should try short protocol, always been long, I responded well and got 12 eggs and 2 got to blast, we have never got to blast before and all fertilised and kept going for several days, again we have never had 100% fertilisation. OK we didn't have any to freeze but at least we knew the best 2 have gone in. We have always had day 3 and again no choice as really only 2 that were good enough at day 3. 


I know I have added acupuncture in this time and more supplements but I have felt a lot calmer and not as stressed, the clinic listen to me and changed my luteal support at my request. Obviously I don't know the result till Monday    but we have been very happy and feel a clinic change has been very positive. Obviously we did have a bit of history there as we went to them for initial diagnosis but that was years ago now.


Just thought it might help to hear from someone who has changed but I totally appreciate it is a big decison


Huge good luck
Xxxx


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## Hevlaw (Apr 4, 2013)

OH Tiny21, Good Luck!  I hope you are feeling OK?  Although I know from only last week, that feeling 'positive' stuff is not always a good sign!  I have emailed ARGC in London today to see if they can give me a rough idea of price (although I know they would probably change stuff, I feel that if they tell me roughly they would have charged me for the treatment I've just had, I can see whether other treatment with them is likely to be hugely expensive - if that makes sense?!!!).  The success rates for there are almost double the national average, and I feel that if we do a third and final cycle I want it to be the best shot ever.

Like you, my clinic we are at currently were the ones we went to right at the start.  I will be eternally grateful to them for our son, but it's not about loyalty is it?  I worry more about being comfortable with the staff and consultant, our consultant is just wonderful, makes me laugh and I love that!  But, I was thinking today, that IF we do move, I just have to tell the clinic that it's not because I'm unhappy with my care, I just want better odds!

Thanks though, it's good to hear your story and I wish you luck for Monday


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## Tiny21 (Jul 24, 2007)

Thank you
Your little boy is just a bit younger than mine! 


You read so much about ARGC, I always imagine them to be pricey but don't know. This is our 3rd attempt for a sibling and we are honestly not sure if we will try again    just    this works. I felt very comfortable with our clinic too but just felt we needed a change. It isn't a criticism of the clinic but sometimes a fresh pair of eyes is no bad thing and we got a great number of eggs and the best fertilisation ever and we got to blasts. You have to do what's right for you but exploring other options can do no harm


X


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## mierran (Apr 24, 2009)

Hevlaw, 
may be woryh looking at serum in athens. They do all the immune stuff but a lot cheaper than argc. I think argc are about 12000 to 16000 per cycle. I think the immunes level 1 and 2 are over 2000 at argc and about 800 at serum. Serum also do a 2 cycle ivf deal for 4000. Penny - the clinic director - does free phone consultations and is aparently lovely and knows her stuff. 
Good luck.
Tiny - fingers xd for mon. 
X x


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