# Pregnant mother forced to give up IVF baby after doctors gave her wrong embryo



## PinkPeacock (Nov 9, 2006)

Just a warning, this is a Daily Wail article so expect the usual "this is another reason why IVF should be banned!" comments.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1215090/Eight-months-pregnant-mother-IVF-baby-doctors-gave-wrong-embryos.html

I can't begin to imagine how either family is feeling.


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## DreamTeam (Nov 1, 2007)

really sad.


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## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

So VERY sad, is it just me that feels compelled to read the comments below and cannot believe the insensitive barstewards that feel they need to comment.


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Ah its so sad.... I  cant imagine how they feel?!


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## PinkPeacock (Nov 9, 2006)

*Bev* said:


> So VERY sad, is it just me that feels compelled to read the comments below and cannot believe the insensitive barstewards that feel they need to comment.


No Bev, not just you. My OH is off sick today and he knew what I was reading just because I was gasping every few minutes. I read them then allow it to make me feel bad. OH tells me not to read it but I can't resist.


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## swhattie (Feb 9, 2009)

I cant bring myself to read it, I am always hurt by the comments at the bottom of the page so cant do it..


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## Han72 (Feb 15, 2007)

So horrendously sad but how incredibly brave of the lady to carry the baby to term and then give him up to his biological parents. I know surrogates do that all the time but that's hardly the case here, I am in awe of her and her hubby that they were able to do this!

I tried to comment on the story just to reply to some of the negative responses but the mail site seems to be playing silly buggers. This was my response:

*"" you cannot 'force' nature... people who cannot conceive naturally should realize that it's natures way! - sara, cambs, UK, 21/9/2009 18:07"
"This is very sad, and i can't imagine what that poor woman is going through, but nature has ways of working and if you need ivf to conceive then you weren't meant to have a child.. - Trixie, Derby, 21/9/2009 18:07"

And yet, we still fight on, it's incredible isn't it?! I mean, take you 2 for example and everyone else expressing similar views - clearly you weren't meant to be able to talk sense in a discussion like this, yet you still have the ability to type. Wow! Out of curiosity, does your in depth understanding of "nature" mean that if you get cancer, you won't be having any treatment cos nature intends for you to die a slow and painful death? Perhaps you feel that haemophiliacs should be left to bleed to death? Do tell ladies...*"

Stupid ignorant people!


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## PinkPeacock (Nov 9, 2006)

Nice one Nix    I always think the same. When people tell me that childlessness won't kill me, I ask if i should leave my ecsema to run riot as that won't kill me. Nor will my migraines. They say that infertility isn't physically painful. I tell them that the deformed laparotomy scar wasn't physically painful but the NHS were more than happy to operate on that. (MRSA infected the wound so I suspect they were happy to put the scar right to stop me suing). They tell me that infertility only affects how you feel mentally so doesn't warrant treatment. I point out that depression is 'just' a mental condition and te NHS has spent far more treating my depression and axiety than they would have giving me IVF.

I just don't understand why fertility is singled out in this way.


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

I read the comments at the bottom.  I guess i dont parti like what im doing having icsi and i guess i do believe its kind of going against nature.  But only because in my mind natures way is falling into bed with someone you love, making love and having a baby.  No one wants to go down this route, but needs must.  The comments from people about it being a nat way of reducing the population is probably also right but also makes no sence.  If that was the case people would only have one or two children, and the amount of people who are unable to have children so have to use ivf are soooooooo small comp with the total population that even if they never had children i dont really think that would change the population level much anyway.

I do understand why people are against ivf and why they say its wasted money, but what they all fail to think of is how they would feel to be in this situation!  You can not suppress the natural want for your own child.  The world is not a fair place and there are so many people who are angry about things that are going on in their own life, there for they become narrow minded about things that they dont really understand, and can not be bothered to understand.

They will learn one day when they need help.


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## swhattie (Feb 9, 2009)

I actually cant understand what ANYONE as against IVF - what is their problem? I mean really because I find it hard, no matter how hard I try to understand how it impacts those people whatsoever. I have to say that I despise these people, there knowledge & compassion is so limited that i doubt I would be happy about having to push my trolly past them in tesco let alone lsieten to their stupid, mindless comments. People get illnesses every day and they are treated, if it was anything to do with 'Nature' then we as a society would let them die - that too could be seen as a natural way of reducing the population too but we dont do that. If I was so depressed over my inability to conceive that I tried to take my own life then that 'physical' problem would be a by product of my infertility so therefore it it does hurt a lot more than those emotionally retarded fools imagine. 

They annoy me as you can tell!


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## Jane D (Apr 16, 2007)

Dont know if I have misread this article, but who got this poor woman's embryos?  

I really would love the chance to speak to the editorial team of the Daily Mail and ask why they relentlessly pursue every single IVF story. Do they not realise that IVF patients are deeply committed, intelligent, responsible, productive  members of society (their ideal readership in a way) who would make ideal parents to lovely children?.  It just makes no sense for them to continually gun for us, when their favourite hobby horses are benefit cheats, immigrants and binge drinkers. 

Jane


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

People are odd!! Come from all sorts of backgrounds and with all sorts of issues.  I choose just to ignore their comments as i think we have enough negativity to deal with.  I guess i struggle more with the sensless people who harp on and on about their children and moan about how hard it is.  Of course its hard but be thankful for the life you lead!!  One of my friends said to me " i know how you feel we have the opposite problem, i get pregnant to easily!!??" No use a condom and there will not be a problem!!!  It made me sooooooooo angry that i just started to laugh to myself.  There are too many people be littleing the impact of infertility just because they know someone who had a child after x amount of yrs trying, does not make it any easier.

People are do eager to give advise and pass judgement with out really knowing the facts.


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## Three boys (Mar 12, 2003)

Terribly sad and it shoudn't happen - it really shouldn't.

I just have to say I love your comments Nix! Brilliant x


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## PinkPeacock (Nov 9, 2006)

coweyes said:


> One of my friends said to me " i know how you feel we have the opposite problem, i get pregnant to easily!!??" No use a condom and there will not be a problem!!! It made me sooooooooo angry that i just started to laugh to myself.


No way, please, tell me you're joking...did your friend realise after she said it that it was a completly senseless, thoughless thing to say? Like you I think I'd have laughed just to stop myself from hitting her!

Jane, the article was about the couple who were given the embryo. She seems like a very strong woman. She already has three children, two much older and one toddler, so that might be some comfort. Even so, she has decided to go through the pregnancy and hand the baby over to the biological parents. The article didn't really mention the biological parents so we don't know if they have other children or how the feel but it must be heart breaking to miss out on all the pregnancy. I just hope that the two families find a place where they are all happy and at peace with what has happened.


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## zoooooommmmm (Aug 5, 2009)

I think the couple in the story are amazing. I really wish I hadn't read the comments section as it's upset me horribly. I can't believe how cruel people can be. All I want is to be a mummy, love some little ones and bring them up to be nice people. Reading what some of those people have said have made me feel like a freak.


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## Guest (Sep 23, 2009)

Isabella - you are not a freak    ...remember that in this world there are lots of terrible people, who do and say terrible things - you are not one of them....I am not hugely religious but would go as far as to say like all areas of medicine, if fertility tx was not "meant to be" then it would not "BE"....hope you see what I mean. The comments are all awful, hurtful, ignorant and just plain thoughtless - words that clearly describe the people who used them too - forget them  

As for the lady in question   .....what a wonderful wonderful lady she is.....I can totally see why she'd want to carry on carrying the child for the other couple but it is still a v brave thing to do. I so feel also for the other couple who so want this baby but I am guessing must feel v uncomfortable about it all for the other couple 

I woudl like to know which clinic it was though.... 

xxx


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

IsabellaSky said:


> I think the couple in the story are amazing. I really wish I hadn't read the comments section as it's upset me horribly. I can't believe how cruel people can be. All I want is to be a mummy, love some little ones and bring them up to be nice people. Reading what some of those people have said have made me feel like a freak.


Hi Isabella

Dont let it make you feel a freak there will always be people who disagree with what other people do, thats what makes us all different! Some people are just rude and brutal about it, which is a lack of intelligence!! It will not change your determination to get there. x x


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## Candee (Feb 1, 2009)

Thankfully I read your pots first girls and so only read the article and didn't read the ignorant comments below!
I got so upset earlier this week, with the article that said using donor eggs was akin to using prostitutes, that I have decided
to try to avoid reading things that are so pointlessly negative!

My feeling here is that the lady carrying the child is so brave and how lovely that she said she is focusing on giving a gift
to the other family. They seem like a lovely family and I hope that things work out for them. It is also very hard for
the other family, because the mother has been denied the chance to carry her child. I hope that she can bond with
the baby quickly and my heart goes out to the other lady for when she has to hand the baby over. It is so hard. I know everyone
makes mistakes and no system is fool-proof, but when the stakes are so high you would think there would be a way
to make this impossible  
Candee
x


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## Honeywitch (Dec 16, 2008)

Mother implanted with wrong embryo gives birth to baby boy and congratulates parents

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1216503/Guardian-angel-gives-baby-born-IVF-implanted-wrong-embryo.html#ixzz0SOCV2P9O

The baby has been born and is now with its family. What an amazing woman Mrs Savage is - it is fantastic to see such a positive story coming out of such a dreadful error.


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## ClaireyFairy (Jan 9, 2009)

The thing that really annoys me about this article is the title

*Pregnant mother forced to give up IVF baby after doctors gave her wrong embryo*

She was not FORCED to give the baby up she made an amazingly brave decision to carry the baby and then give it up to the other family, something that she did not have to legally do. How can they twist the truth and lie like this? Who are they implying that forced her? I hate newspapers and things like this are the exact reason that I have always refused to read papers, it's all so shallow, twisted and usually just the opinion of one person.

And as for the ignorant comments they would never stop me from having anymore treatment or make me feel like I'm doing something wrong as I know that I'm going to be a fantastic mummy, even more so now that I appreciate how lucky I am to be pregnant.

x


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## DippyGirl (Mar 10, 2005)

Absolutely gree Claireyfairy - a brave and generous decision.  I saw in interview with the woman on CNN, there was no 'forcing' just a wonderful and considerate human being.
D x


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## Jumanji (Feb 13, 2008)

I hate the way the posters at the bottom of these things somehow assume that "nature" is this great judge when it comes to fertility.  Nature is pretty lousy at knowing who will make a good parent - look at Karen Matthews, Baby P's parents and all those you see in the street swearing at their children!  Not to mention my cat, Posy, who conceived first try   but who was worse than useless with her kittens - they would frankly have died in the wild!!!   

And I am sure that these people would not be quite so keen to accept nature's judgment call if they got cancer or something.  Would they decline treatment because it's nature's way of telling them it's time to die?  I think not.

Even Darwin recognised "the clumsy, wasteful, blundering, low and horribly cruel works of nature".  We work against these every single day from the minor inconveniences to the life threatening.  Medicine is an obvious example but even when we do something as simple as putting on deodorant we are defying nature's judgment that we should, in fact, sweat and smell.  

It just annoys me that these people trot out the "nature's way" line on IF issues but nothing else.  It is deeply wrong!


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

Nixf01 said:


> So horrendously sad but how incredibly brave of the lady to carry the baby to term and then give him up to his biological parents. I know surrogates do that all the time but that's hardly the case here, I am in awe of her and her hubby that they were able to do this!
> 
> I tried to comment on the story just to reply to some of the negative responses but the mail site seems to be playing silly buggers. This was my response:
> 
> ...


I'm sat crying!! Sat crying thinking one kind of idiots Sara and Trixie are!!! Sat here angry and crying wishing all kinds on them including my IF then they'll no what its [email protected]@dy like


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