# advice/opinions needed! to hold a baby or to not hold a baby? :-)



## Love London (Apr 5, 2014)

Hi all,
I'm maybe being paranoid, so want to know others opinions. 

My situation is that I personally think some friends, my brother in law and partner are apprehensive about me holding their baby or having pictures taken of me holding their baby. I often feel their eyes bearing down on me. I feel like I'm being judged!

Howabout ******** uploads? It bugs me when my family /friends swamp ******** with family/baby pictures. .. but I love seeing pictures of me holding the baby! Infact I like my ******** friends to see that I am good with babies and children. The thing that triggered this post is that my brother in law asked me to remove 3 pictures of me holding their baby ... Our niece. One side of me says that reasonably some parents don't want their childrens pics on social media for protection. .. but then the other side of me feels that they don't want pictures of me holding their baby on ******** ... that maybe it looks weird to others as well? 

I  go to family gatherings and have to put on my happy face when really I'm crying inside. It pains me so much seeing my dh holding his niece knowing how much he wants a child, his brother just seems to have all the luck and they weren't even trying for a baby! 

now I must be clear in saying that my brother in law and partner rarely use ******** so it's not that I feel they are rubbing my face in it. I'm sure I've answered my own questions but really would appreciate others situations and opinions. .. Have you ever felt singled out ... or is it just me and do I need professional help? !!!!!


----------



## Hopefulshell (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi love london

After everything you've been through it's
natural to feel very sensitive and easily
hurt by the actions of others. For what it's
worth, I'd personally think your BIL is simply
uncomfortable having pictures of his daughter
on ** full stop irrespective of whom is posting
them. As you say, they rarely use this social
media so probably just feel uncomfortable with
it. He's obviously more than happy and
comfortable for you to hold his child which he 
wouldn't allow you to do if he thought it was odd
etc. 

I know how hard it is to watch the pain it causes
to another when a sibling seemingly gets all the
luck. My BIL had a son this year too and my dh was
so upset that his younger bro had got his dream 
when we can't yet had to pretend he was over the
moon! 

The very fact you can hold someone else's baby is
very strong of you. I'm not sure I could do it after
failing tx so good on you  Forget about the pictures
and just enjoy being with your niece in the flesh  
Maybe just casually ask your BIL out of interest why
he took the action he did for your own piece of mind.

X


----------



## Ames xxx (Nov 24, 2014)

Hi Love London.

I am always second guessing people's actions and I am sure half the time my thinking is just paranoia.  

I avoid holding babies....especially newborns as I feel people think cos I don't have my own that I am incapable of holding a baby. I am quite lucky as my immediate family know of our ivf and my nieces and nephews are all over 5 so no babies but other family members who have babies don't know so it makes it easier for me.

I agree with hopefulshell that if your BIL doesn't use ** often this is probably the reason they have asked you to remove the pics.

It is understandable under the circumstances why you feel this way. I dont get or never got asked to babysit or anything because I don't have kids which hurts.

Hope you are feeling better xxx


----------



## Love London (Apr 5, 2014)

Thankyou Ames and Hopefulshell,
I really appreciate your kind words, I think every day is a struggle. Me and DH are planning to start treatment again in February, fingers crossed!
Best wishes to you both. Xx


----------

