# I had an IVF treatment abroad and I am pregnant. My GP refused to treat me



## Anna131

I had an IVF treatment abroad and I am 5 weeks pregnant. My GP refused to treat me and immediately booked an appointment  with private clinic without my authorization giving them all my details. He was extremely unpleasant about my treatment abroad. I just needed a prescription for estrogen and progesterone, he had refused to prescribe. 

Any advice?


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## LoisLane

Hi Anna

Congratulations on your pregnancy, wishing you a healthy one   

I'm sorry to hear about your dr but am afraid I can't offer any advice.

Louj x


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## ikklesmiler

Hi Anna

Phone your primary care trust, look online for thier PALS service phone number, its patient advice and liason service, they are really helpful hun, they helped me and was very understanding when i had probs with my gp.

hope you get some good advice hun

Ann Marie xxx


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## bottleofwater

congratulations on your pregnancy Anna, its awful how you are being treated. I am not sure of the laws on prescriptions of estrogen etc, surely you will be able to get scan etc though?


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## cleg

hi there Anna + congrats on your PG 

i havent got any good advice but maybe you could post on peer support + may get some more info there 

heres the link - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=186.0

goodluck

xxx


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## safarigirl

anna congrats on your pregnancy - how awful at a wonderful time like this to have to met up with a doctor that cant respond positively.
YOu can either get your clinic to give you a prescription and have it filled via the italian pharmacy.
Or change doctors ... there are many out there not like that at all who will support you - my doctor was fabulous, kind and understanding, and i had great treatment from the midwifes, so cast this meaness aside, find someone you feel comfortable with and enjoy your fabulous pregnancy ...


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## Martha Moo

Hiya Anna

I am so sorry to read of all the problems you have had with your gp

Many congratulations on your pregnancy 

I would contact your local PCT (primary care trust) if you ring your local hospital they will put your through or give you the number

Its shockin the way you are being treated i do empathise as although i didnt have my treatment abroad, i had icsi and i was refused midwife care unless i paid private obviously the gps theory was if i can afford private treatment for icsi i can afford to pay private for care

The pct was very helpful and got my problem sorted out 

Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy

Best wishes

Emxx


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## Anna131

Thank you every body for all your support and good wishes, I really appreciate it. I did ring the Westminster PCT, but so far they've been rather ineffective with my GP. I have drugs for the next few days, and I won't be able to get prescription from abroad in time. Feel extremely bad at prejudice from NHS re women who have IVF. Despite many years of paying NI by me and DH!! Attitude to IVF women much better outside UK.


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## daisyg

Anna,

Firstly, a huge congratulations on your pregnancy.  

Look, I don't mean to be rude, but why not use the private clinic to fill your prescription?  It seems really silly to throw the baby out with the bath water and jeopardise your pregnancy just because you are peed at your GP.

I don't think it is necessarily all about age, but possibly prejudice against treatment abroad coupled with the fact that the GP has no obligation to fill your prescription as it is classed as fertility treatment and the PCTs are very strict about saying no to this.  Basically, most women who do DE abroad end up using private clinics for early scans and meds.  That is just how it is - you are not being especially singled out.

You could always ring the Italian Pharmacy and get them to send your drugs next day delivery.  This pharmacy is used by the women going to Spain for DE, but they will fill any prescription for you.  You just need to fax over or get your clinic to email a script and they will send you the meds.

Here are contact details:-

Italian Pharmacy. The woman in charge is called Monica and is Canadian so no language issues.

0039 141 982653

Failing this, could you see another GP in your practice??  I think it is worth a try as individual GPs can be more sympathetic and may help you.  You are a customer after all - why not?  Or ring the London Fertility Centre and see if they can help you with any advice about meds.  

You cannot stop taking your progesterone and E2 - it is extremely dangerous at your stage of pregnancy as they are keeping your pregancy alive at the moment and you need to be on them until 12 weeks.

Sorry for the forthright post, but I feel the age thing will be coming up again and again as an older mum (in my experience) and you just need to get over it in order to move forward (IMHO).

Daisy
x


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## Anna131

Don't worry Daisy---of course nothing will interfere with looking after baby. I have another appointment with the GP Friday, and if I don't get the drugs then, I'll be going private to get them. I'll keep you all informed!!


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## alison 5

Hi Anna, congratulations on your BFP, i Think Daisy is right its not your
age that is an issue its just having treatment abroad is a rather grey
area.  Like myself most of the girls who have had treatment at IM
in Barcelona either bought there medication when they were there having
treatment or IM have sent prescription over, they are fortunate to have
a UK register doct working there  which is what the chemists here need from
an overseas prescription i think there has only been a few girls who have
found there GPs helpful in providing medication on the NHS.
Hope all will be sorted. look after yourself
Alison


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## daisyg

Good to hear Anna.  Hope all goes well and wishing you the best for you and your family.

Daisy
xx


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## fringegirl

Anna131

Although my GP would not prescribe my drugs on the NHS she did offer to do a private prescription for me but I'd have had to pay for drugs. The Italian pharmacy is very good and cheaper than this country.
For everything else your GP should treat you. I was referred to a midwife by my GP and the midwife is lovely and knows all about my donor egg treatment. As far as she's concerned she'd rather treat me than yet another pregnant 14 year old - her words not mine. 
Have you tried contacting NHS direct for advice?
It's so annoying when we pay so much for our treatment and save the NHS a fortune but teenage girls can churn out as many babies as they like to different fathers and get loads of support both from NHS and the benefit system. 
One of my exes years ago said his mother was 50 when she had him and it was a natural pregnancy - I bet she wouldn't have been treat like a criminal these days.
Oh well that's my rant over with.
Hope you get somewhere with this, best of luck XXX


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## babycrazy

Hi Anna and all.

You beat me Anna Congratulations!!.  I thought i was the eldest on FF.  If you dont mind me asking where you went for your TX. It give so many girls hope on FF when they see women are age getting BFP and I think they like to know what clinic it happened at as it must be a good one when getting women are age a BFP.  I am 51 and 25wks PG, i will be 52 when i have my little girl.
I am sorry to hear of your trouble with the drugs and I am afraid the only way to get them cheaply now would be for your clinic to write a prescription and get it done at the Italian pharmacy.  If your GP wants you to see a consultant here to get the drugs it will cost you Approx £150 to £200 just to walk through his door. I have also read on FF if your GP writes you a Private script, the chemist can charge what he pleases.
I  had TX in Czech Rep and bought my 12 extra weeks drugs while there, thank God, as,  as it turned out I needed them.
My GP seemed to be OK with my having the treatment, always saying good luck as i left his. surgery. ( but i did have a feeling he was being false!!).  I am afraid it changed when i got my BFP, he would not give me a Beta test, this is when it all came out.  He did not agree with older women having babies, he also blurted out in the row about me having private TX.  Now in IF TX what other way is there!!!!!! ??.  Then it all come together, why he was stalling treating me for Thyroid Problem and not doing me STD bloods,  I had these bloods done in CZ, but then at 10weeks PG had them done again on NHS, as they wont take whats been done abroad as gospal.  Also Dr's here in U.K, also seem to think the Dr's anywhere else in the world are just Quacks.  My Con in CZ said my Thyroid needed treated as bad for conceiving and pregnancy, I told my GP and he called an Endo here for conformation, who incidentaly agreed with him, I only got treated because i asked GP if he wanted to hammer another nail in my coffin.
Luckily I got my early scans done on NHS but only because i was already on the books of Reacurrant MC clinic, even they wanted me to be referred by my GP as it was 7yrs since I had last seen there.  NO WAY!! was i asking him, anyway after i told them about my GPs attitude and my newly found thyroid problem they relented and saw me.  I have read on FF of girls being refused a scan till 12 week dating scan, unless they went private.

You cannot be refused antinatal care on NHS.  You can even have a home birth now without any trouble. When i was 27 and wanting my 4th baby at home there was uproar, but at 52 I can now have one no trouble  My Midwife told me they now have to support the woman's wishes to where she wants to give birth.

I did had a slight shortage of drugs owing to the patches comming unstuck and the pessaries being lost down the loo and having to reinsert more.  I seen another Dr in the practice who was reluctant to prescribe them, until I told him i had to send out an SOS on Nett,. I also told him i had to do this as my baby would die without the drugs and if this happened, then so would I.
I hope Anna you get sorted, please keep us informed and stay intouch.
XX
Karen


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## lilli

Hi Anna 
Hope you have got your meds sorted now. 
I have just come back from my gp and she too has declined to write a NHS or private prescition for progesterone and  patches, which i can kind of understand but she was very rude to me about my request, had no understanding about having treatment abroad or had any intrest in my wellbeing, she even said she felt i was blackmailing her. Silly ****!!
Apart from the medication issue I had no idea of my next steps  so I asked her, she said I should go back to spain and when the meds have finished to see a GP, I feel that's a bit late to start antenatal care at 3 months. Will definately be changing my GP now.
Lilli


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## babycrazy

Hi Lilli
You are entitled to all your Antinatal care in UK you should see a GP first then he will refer you to HSP and book  you a dating scan this is done between 10 & 12 weeks. He should also send you to book with the a community Midwife before this for her to issue you with your Blue Folder of notes, you will need these at your dating scan.
My GP did give me an antenatal at same time as he refused my Beta test, so i must have been short of 5 weeks PG, but then the quicker he fills in all the forms, the quicker he gets the payment for looking after me in PG.  My blood pressure on this occasion was 93 bottom number, it has now been only 60/65 ever since, so you may guess how heated this meeting was with my GP.
I will go back to see him  before baby is born, souly to put two fingers up to him.  I have also been told by friends whom have not seen me for months  that I have lost weight, so i want to stick one on him for letting e walk around like Miss Piggy!! for so many years when i told them i had a problem with my Thyroid.
Xx
Karen


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## roze

Dear all,

I am so shocked to hear about GPs refusing to treat women who are pg and for them to refuse them midwifery care on the NHS.  The issue about prescribing meds is a different one - ie they don't have to do it and it can compromise them professionally if something goes wrong.  I had the same difficulty in securing the Pill before downregging some time ago but this was largely on health reasons. However there is no reason to refuse standard treatment which all women are entitled to on the NHS. 

Heffalump, I was really surprised at what happened to you  and I am sure that it is not legal to refuse you treatment.  You are entitled to antenatal support and scans regardless of how you became pg. 

The Italian pharmacy is very good and will send you, Anna, the  meds promptly when they receive payment and a Drs prescription- your foreign clinic should be able to do this. If not they need chasing!
I had the whole thing arranged and the meds delivered within 24 hours by DHL.

I attend a GP practice with a range of GPs and some have been more sympathetic than others. One or two have been really judgemental, others are genuinely concerned for my well being, however most have been supportive.  My hospital consultant sees more and more older women having babies, and more successfully than before due to better health and better antenatal monitoring. It costs them more but what the heck.  At least they get the experience of treating very elderly primagravidas! 

Congrats on your pregnancy, and hope everything goes well from here on.


roze  xx


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## Anna131

All: Thanks for all your messages of support and advice, it's really marvellous to find a forum where we can all share these difficult experiences, and deal with the prejudices that IVF seems to provoke amongst GPs.

I'm now in better shape, as I've found a GP who is more sympathetic. But not before a spectacular debate with someone 'important' at my PCT, who told me that I had gone abroad and 'got [myself] pregnant and now _ expect the NHS to pick up the bill'. After informing him that the newspapers were just one phone call away, and that I'd already booked an appointment with my (Tory) MP, he changed his tune, told me he was 'only interested in the welfare of [my] baby', and helped me find the right GP---whom I met the next day, wiith my DH (who came in his business suit, with the effect that the GP thought I'd brought my lawyer with me!!!).

In addition, I've found a very good and sympathetic reasonably priced and experienced Polish gyn, who wrote me the requested prescription.

Girls, never give in and never surrender!!

Love to all, Anna_


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## roze

Anyone who gets themselves pregant in this country expects the NHS to pick up the bill; thats what its there for, isn't it.? And what we pay into. Perhaps he meant its more monitoring because you are like a lot of us, a mature mum. Well , tough.  I doubt whether as a group we are particularly resource hungry, perhaps less. 

I like the comment about your DH being a lawyer. Clearly a suit shut them up, I might trying wearing one myself next time  I encounter a difficult individual.

roze  xxx


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## daisyg

Right on Anna!!

Let us know how you are - if you need to talk to any other 'older' mums, then keep in touch with us....

Wishing you the best of luck and an event free pregnancy!

Best,

Daisy
x


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## Morvern

_who told me that I had gone abroad and 'got [myself] pregnant and now expect the NHS to pick up the bill'._

Gaaaaah that makes me so incredibly angry. How DARE they say such a thing? You've probably been paying national insurance all your working life. Some of these bureaucrats need to realise that access to NHS treatment is an entitlement - it's not some charity where those in charge can choose which cases they think are 'deserving' of treatment and which are 'undeserving'.

Good on you for standing up for yourself.


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## daisyg

Just a thought,

I wonder if I went abroad and 'got myself malaria' whether the NHS would pick up the bill or tell me to p off and go private

D
x


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## lilli

Highly likely if you went to see my GP!!


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## nikkis

OMG I cant believe some of these GPs out there
My GP is very supportive..the only thing I can say is that I think that they may not really be allowed to prescribe medication for a condition they are not treating as they may not know how to monitor it, but the only "condition" you have is pregnancy so its hardly the same
All this makes me even more cross after that Dispatches prog last night on aborions..I was horrified..sounds like you get more respect from some doctors if you s--- around and get yourself pregnant on numerous occasions, and the poor doctors who have to perform these procedures...I never realised how gruesome they were
Well I am a spring chicken (44!!!) so have taken new hope from you ladies
Good luck to you all
Nikki


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## babycrazy

Hi 
Yes I saw dispatches on abortion
Why don't these girls get shown a scan before they have op and if they still want to go through with it make them have a natural loss, like us who have to Miscarry.  Perhaps they will think after having a very painfull mini labour and the gruesome sight of a hemorrhage with blood clots the size of footballs.
Im sorry to say  but peeps who have abortions get more help and kindness shown to them, than us who do lose are babies natures way.
I dont know how a Dr sleeps at  night who does 60 a day!.
Xx
Karen


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## daisyg

Karen,

Please be careful how you express yourself.  We are obviously all entitled to our opinion.  However, for those of us who have had both terminations and miscarriages this subject needs (IMHO) to be approached gently.  Not all women having terminations are the same.   Even if you are opposed to abortion, please remember that many women have had them of all ages and not necessarily without extreme regret and personal pain.  Please remember that not all women who have terminations are teenagers and they choose abortion for many reasons whether you like it or not.  

Even if women have had abortions without regret I don't believe this is a very considered or kindly expressed opinion.  Let's not punish women any more than they are already - why not tackle the root causes and help rather than condemn and wish to cause them more suffering?

This is clearly an emotive subject, but I am just requesting a little sensitivity please.

Daisy
x


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## nikkis

Daisy
You are quite right that we should not put everyone in the same category, so maybe it is my fault for bringing up the subject.  I merely mean that some poor women like the lady who started this thread shouldnt get treated the way she has been treated by the medical proffession after the heartache she has been through to get pregnant, whilst other women  (and not all, of course) take pregnancy very lightly.
I am sorry to anyone I have offended
Nikki


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## roze

It does seem to me at least, after several year of TTC,  that women who try to get pregnant against all the odds receive inversely proportionate sympathy from the medical profession- as if we should all wake up and smell the coffee. One GP at my practice some time ago suggested that perhaps this was natures way of telling me I was not meant to be a mother when I said how hard it was keeping going with the tx. In normal circumstances perhaps this was good advice, but not the thing to say to someone in my circumstances.  I just don't think he meant to be cruel but that GP's and many people simply do not understand, and probably don't come across many people pursuing fertility treatment in any case that we are treated as oddities. It is probably even difficult for other women to understand the pain and trials of tx as falling pregnant simply is not an issue for much of the population. 

They tell you that fertility treatment can be a long hard road, but what they don;t tell you is that you need to grow a second skin to cope with the idiotic things , lack of sympathy, and downright inappropriate, discouraging, and misguided comments from health professionals, ranging from GPs to midwives to consultants to staff performing c sections. When I say health professionals I generally mean those outside of the fertility sector. 
As I was being stitched up, feeling ill from the procedure, exhausted, and not a little terrified of being presented with a baby, one of the surgeons asked me why I had left it so late to have a baby. My notes had little information about my treatment but they did clearly say  'IVF' conception.  Did she think this was the time and the place to ask this question?  Could she not have drawn an intelligent conclusion that I might have been trying a long time- and perhaps might not have wanted to talk about it seconds after abdominal surgery?
In my first night in hospital, one of the stroppy nurses sat down on my bed at 1am and said she wanted to know about my IVF as she too was thinking of having treatment. I had just had a baby and was exhausted!  What is going through the minds of these people!!

There was one consultant who kept talking to me about the rate of infant mortality in older women in terms more blunt than I would wish to post here. Granted that statistics are statistics but could she not have thought that perhaps positive thinking might actually play a part in my maintaining a healthy pregnancy? 

We should not be treated in the ways that we are however I can see little changing unless we work towards educating the professionals etc. In the meantime  I think women need to brace themselves for a few additional potholes on an already rocky road.

roze


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## Morvern

Roze - just wanted to say that I SO indentify with what you've said. I've just been for my 12 week scan (which was fine, btw) and the doctor sat me down and listed in detail all the things that can potentially go wrong with a twin pregnancy. He told me it was 'very risky'. Then he went on about the risk of downs and spina bifida and how, if the tests are abnormal I might not be able to abort one baby without affecting the other. Now I feel awful when really I should be happy because I've managed to get to 12 weeks and the babies are fine.


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## nikkis

Dear Roze and Morvern, despite being shocked at the way you have both been treated I am thrilled and encouraged to see that you have both been successful

My faith in certain members of the medical profession has been shattered.  We lost our only child 2 years ago next week..he was 16.  We decided the only way we could carry on living was to have another baby..NEVER to replace him but to give us a reason to carry on.  As are all babies, our son was very special..he was born at 30weeks weighing less than 0.9kg but reverything was fine until he was suddenlyt taken from us for no apparent reason and something totally unrelated to the fact that he was born to early and so tiny

I coped through everything, even through various unsuccessful IVF attempts until about a month or so ago, when I just felt I was slipping.  I was referred to a psychiatrist who, in short said she sympathised because I was feeling the same as when she lost her father (!) and told me that I should always know that there are people worse off than myself.  Now I have heard this type of comment from non medical people (I can always persuade myself that they dont understand or are just clutching at the first thing they can think to say), but I was flabberghasted by this psychiatrist and came out feeling worse than when I went in (if that were possible) and like a fraud

Doctors should keep their opinions to themselves if they cant be sympathetic to older mums (I suppose like I should have kept my opinion to myself about some women having terminations) and live and let live and encourage you.  I think you are wonderful


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## safarigirl

nikkis - from me i am truly sorry to hear of your loss of your son and cannot imagine how you must have felt, and the pain you must and still do experience.  I am appaled that a psychiatrist could bring their own experience in to you.  I am sending you big hugs and am so saddened to hear how difficult things are for you.  How big of you as well to say that about your opinion - it is so good on this thread that we can enter into debate but do it with dignity.  So from me to you, the biggest of hugs, i will be keeping you in my thoughts.


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## roze

Nikkis,
I am so sorry about your loss of your son. You are so fantastically brave to carry on with trying to conceive again, and hopefully you will find the strength to do so. The old line ' there is always someone worse off than you' - ie ' grace of God ' routine is a real cheap shot- how many years of training did they need in order to deliver that one. Its nonsense and it solves nothing.

Morvern, I don't know why the medical profession think that portraying the worst is good for people, as if it will somehow take the edge of the pain if something does go wrong. What the doctor is saying might be factually correct, however it is not much use if you have already conceived. What do they expect you to do?  Most of us who have been through the mill on fertility treatment will already be aware of the risks and issues however we need to think positively and need encouragement to do so.
I went straight out from one painful consultation with the senior obstetrician where the worst was portrayed, and nearly under a bus as I was not looking where I was going, feeling so upset by the whole episode and in tears.  The only saving grace was that I was under constant monitoring with scans and blood tests towards the end, and everything was taken seriously.  

I am thinking of writing to  this senior person to ask why she felt it necessary to be so negative especially as I was already several months into my pregnancy. What good was this supposed to do.  I'll let you know the response.

Part of me thinks some of the problems arise because many medics actually know so little about fertility treatment and we know more than they do- do they find this threatening perhaps.

love to all

roze


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## babycrazy

Hi Nikkis
I would also like to offer my sincere condolances to you on the loss of your son. To lose a child is the worst grief anyone can suffer. Your sons life had only just begun, with a terrible start at that. Your psychiatrist father had had his or at least a good bit of it, you probably thought this at the time but being in shock at the time, plus also being a person, to kind hearted to express it. 
I am sending you a b  and lots of    that you journey to get your much deserved child/ren is an easy one.
Nikkis, Please don't apologise on my behalf about the sensitive subject of abortion, I like you was just trying to say women should get equal treatment and as said everyone is entitled to an opinion be it pro or anti. 
Daisy 
I am sorry if i am not very diplomatic with words, I am not highly educated as you obviously are. Everyones allowed one terrible mistake in life, I am not having a go at all women who have this decision to make.

[edited and content removed by Tony - way too graphic hun]

I am a volunteer telephone contact for the MC association and have come across this AB/MC situation many times. I don't lecture these women, I just get on with what I supposed to do without making any judgement.
God Bless
XX
Karen


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## daisyg

Nikkis,

Please don't apologise - you did not offend me at all.  I totally understood what you meant in your first post and it was not a problem at all.  I think this forum is always open to all opinions (and good thing too!).

My post was directed at Karen because I felt that the detail in it was perhaps unecessary - I felt her opinion could have been stated without the detail which seemed overly aggressive and just nasty.

I am so terribly sorry to hear about your son.  I just wish and hope for the success you deserve and hope your heart can be helped to heal a bit.  I cannot believe the phsychiatrists words to you - I would complain personally as I have never heard of a professional counsellor using themselves as any kind of role model in this personal and totally unsympathetic way.

Sending best wishes and lots of luck,

Daisy
x


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## Amaunet

Roze, I read your comment of 19/10 with interest and am sorry your experience has been so dire. I would like to redress the balance with a summary of my own experience. It is so very different.

I had DE IVF at IM and was lucky that it was successful on the first cycle. When I returned to the U.K, my GP could not have been more overjoyed for me when he saw me to give me my hCG results. (He had previously supported me during my IVF attempts in this country). He recommended a particular consultant obstetrician, someone who had an excellent professional reputation, and was warm and engaging at the same time. It is so important to develop trust and complete confidence in your obstetrician, as you are literally in their hands at the end (he will be present for the entire birth).  I see him for all my routine care (no midwives). I told him about the DE IVF at our first meeting, and he has not felt the need to discuss it further. He has never questioned why I put career first, and am having the baby now, it simply is not relevant. Our consultations involve long chats and I suppose one of his aims is to have me leaving in a much calmer state than when I arrived.

I am at a stage where I have routine growth scans (I am 26 weeks pregnant), and these are carried out by a consultant in fetal medicine. This person knows about the DE IVF. He too has a lovely manner. In fact I am the one to raise subjects such as ‘concealed placental abruption’ not him. Having him for scans is great fun, he points everything out and is so enthusiastic. Scans are the highlight of my pregnancy. I would see him every week if I could!

The point I wish to make is that there are many obstetric professionals out there who do not focus on age and IVF exclusively (and negatively). These are pertinent facts for the care of the individual, but if low risk remain as background information only. My consultants also work within the NHS, and I would expect their attitudes to their patients to be the same – warmth, courtesy and support.

(The consultant obstetricians/gynaecologists I have met actually have considerable knowledge of IVF techniques and risks not discussed by IVF clinics. They often have to deal with the life threatening complications that arise).

This is just another perspective on the care available - there is mediocrity and excellence. I hope that more people experience the latter.


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## nikkis

hi ladies (and any men out there)

I must add that my GP is also wonderful..he admits that he is no an expert in ladies matters (his speciality is erectile dysfunction) but has been wonderful at prescribing anything I need (altho I believe that he is not obliged to pre-pregnancy)..living in Wales too Im lucky and do not even have to pay for prescriptions which is a bit help after entering into the IM Refunding Programme as you can imagine!!!

Its good to hear that there are many lovely doctors and consultants out there and I hope we are all soon in a positon to be needing them!!!

Im just back from IM with one frozen embryo..not too confident as the previous time I had 2 fresh from the same lovely donor and sadly they didnt take, so this time it would be nothing short of a miracle!

Luck to you all
Nikki


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## Amaunet

Hi Nikkis,

Wishing you all the best during your 2ww. I do hope that it works. 
Take care.


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## nikkis

thanks Amaunet for your thoughts  xx


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