# It's all over.



## wannabemum42 (Sep 12, 2005)

Funny how I feel compelled to come on here after failure, to let you other waiters know that I have failed.

I suppose it's polite not to leave you hanging, but at the same time it sends a message of stark realism to the whole IVF take-on.

me and DH decided to test, for the sake of our own sanity.

Clearblue digital.....not pregnant.

Then to add insult...I  stared to bleed, very watery and it's now stopped, about three minutes later.

We said we would give it one good try...but simply have no more cash to invest.

I'm not sure which way to turn...a lot rode on the outcome of this test.

Best of luck to everyone still waiting...especially my cycle buddie 'pebble' who is also testing a day early.


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Oh Diane, I am so sorry   . I know how you feel and my heart truly goes out to you and dh. It doesn't matter how realistic you are during the treatment and the 2ww, but getting that BFN is one of the most horrid things to experience. Nothing can prepare you for it. Like you said, you gave it a good shot and that is far better than never trying and always wondering. Take good care of yourself and allow yourself time to grieve, it will get better.

Love and hugs from a fellow Goldie  

Lx


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## Lizz (Mar 10, 2005)

Just wanted to say how sorry I am for you  



Lizx


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## Fluffty (Nov 9, 2004)

so so sorry to hear the news, its so unfair 

Take care

xx


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## B3ar (Jul 6, 2005)

Diane

I am so sorry to read your post   There is nothing anyone can say that makes this pain any easier to bear.  

I hope your future brings you happiness 

Love
Bear
xxx


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Sweetie I am so sorry  there are no words I can say to help x


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## sharonw (May 13, 2005)

Diane,

So so sorry hun dont know what to say to you only i know how you are feeling and hope that you and your DH will soon be feeling better.

I hope to talk to you soon.

love sharon
xxxxxxxxxx


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## DUCATTI (Sep 4, 2005)

i am so sorry, i have been following your progress and topics over last 2 weeks and you replied to some of mine, i know you said you were going to test a day early and have been thinking about what your result was.
i know there is nothing i can say to help you feel any better,


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## Katie G (Sep 8, 2005)

I'm so sorry - I wish I'd read the message board before I sent you the last email.  I've been thinking about you whilst I was away and just wanted to get in touch and wish you luck.  Just arrived at the msg board and saw your posting - tugged at my heart strings.  Wishing you lots of love.
Katie


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## bendybird (Apr 12, 2005)

After seeing so many negative testsyou wouls think we would all be used to it by now but each time it negative, it just seems to get harder and harder.

Have a big  
from me and hope you are feeling better soon.

Bendybird.xx


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## freespirit. (Nov 24, 2004)

I'm so very sorry to read your post , i can't imagine how you and DH must be feeling . There are no words i can say right now to ease you pain so i'm just sending you     and wishing you both strength to get through this ,
Freespirit x x x


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## birthbaby (Aug 11, 2004)

hi 

what can i say appart from im really sorry    

take care and pamper your self love nikki


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## tweetie (Feb 5, 2005)

i am so sorry to hear your news hunni and hope you and dh are  managing ok.lol.xx


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## pebble (Jul 8, 2004)

Hello

I am so sorry, I have sent you a PM. 

Take care of yourself and DH. You know where I am if you need to talk.

Pebble x


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## wannabemum42 (Sep 12, 2005)

Since I posted....

The bleeding stopped, and wasn't actual bleeding in the end, it was coffee coloured and watery on reflection that hardly stained the panty liner and it stopped as soon as I had wiped. i was beside myself with panic.

The nurse has said that 50% of women bleed, or stain in their 2ww.

I put in a cyclogest and have had no more shows of any kind....its 5.40pm.

Dh rang the clinic who have poo pooed the claerblue totally by saying that even their test would probably have shown negative today because I am only day 11.

Another factor they said was the fact that I had emptied myself at 4.30am and tested at 9.30am with second urine.

They said that they have had women test with clearblue on the day of their hospital test and come in floods of tears and get a positive with ther own test.

I have been told not to give up until tomorrow.


This is torture.

pebble, best of luck xxxxxxxxxx


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

I am keeping everything crossed for you, hoping that that was just implantation happening 

Love Jo
x x x


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Fingers and toes crossed hun, like Jo said - hopefully that was implantation.


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## wannabemum42 (Sep 12, 2005)

negative it was and we were all crying at the hospital. i wasn't going to go but thought i should complete the documentary, wasn't nice though

I hope you all watch it. It's called Staring life and will be narrated by Professor Rober Winston in September 2006, and remember how hard it was for me to go to that hospital and face cameras today.

At least it will show the public that this HURTS.

I hope you will all be proud of me.

Best wishes to all of you brave couples.

diane and mark


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## birthbaby (Aug 11, 2004)

hi hunny so sorry  

you want to be proud of yourself aswell i will deffo watching it  
and it will show people how much it hurts i think it hurts like hell and what a rolacoaster it is instead of people thinking mmmmm ivf we will get a baby from that how wrong they are this was my 5th traetment and if i could go on telly and tell people what its really like i would i told sum one that i was doing ivf and she said so when will you be due of it   you wouldnt belive how many people think ivf and baby im babbling now arnt i 

diane mark take care of you

love nikki


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## 2545helen (May 26, 2005)

I am so sorry Diane and Mark.  There is nothing I can say that will make this any easier for you.  Thinking of you both.
Take Care

Helen X


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

I am so so sorry.

I have no others words, other then you are so brave, both of you, for showing the public just a little snippet of how all this IF stuff hurts.

You are so much braver then me, I started doing a documentary a couple of Tx's ago, but I couldn't continue, you are amazing for doing it.

I wish you so much luck for your future.

Take care both of you

Love and hugs
Jo
x x x


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## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Big hugs and much love to you both,

Really so sorry 

Lizzy xxx


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## leanne-c (Sep 30, 2004)

Hi Diane and Mark

All I can say is that i am very very sorry   , I think you are both so brave going in front of the cameras, I know i wouldnt be strong enough to.
You should be very proud of yourselfs  
Sending you lots of    
Take care of each other

Love Leanne xxxx


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## B3ar (Jul 6, 2005)

Hi Diane

 It's bad enough having to go through this when it is negative but to do it in front of cameras must have been a million times worse.  

I hope when the documentary is shown on tv the update at the end will be the words 'since completing this documentary was filmed Diane and Mark had another attmept and are now expecting' 

Love
Bear
xxxx


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## Fluffty (Nov 9, 2004)

So sorry Diane and Mark,

All I can do is echo what everyone else is saying, you are very brave and a wicked sense of humour, please don't lose that. I will def be watching out for you. As Bear says hopefully next time lucky xx


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## pebble (Jul 8, 2004)

Diane and Mark

All I can say is that is am so so sorry for you both, like I said in my PM yesterday to you, stick together and you will get through this bad time.

Your time will come.

Take Care

Pebble x


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## Guest (Oct 16, 2005)

Diane & Mark
Just read your post and had a little   for you, I am so so sorry to read your news    I am thinking of you both. Don't give up on your dream xx


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## caza (Jul 21, 2004)

Diane & mark 
so so sorry for u sending u a big  take care Hun 
                                              love caza


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## Mackie (May 18, 2005)

Diane & Mark

I am so so sorry to hear that you got a negative result.  To have it confirmed is just devastating.  I think you were very brave to have to go through that with a BBC crew with you.  DP & I find it hard enough and there is just us and a nurse.

This treatment certainly is a massive emotional rollercoaster, and is made worse when you have to self fund as we are, as that is another added pressure.

I wish i could give you both a big hug as I know just how you are feeling.  But a least you tried - alot of people can't face going through the treatment.

Lots of love to you both

Helen M x


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## beano (May 4, 2005)

Diane and Mark

Just wanted to add that I was so sorry to hear your result - I know how you're feeling as I too got a bfn on Friday. I also think that it was very brave of you to continue with the documentary. I'm glad that you felt able to do so, as it will show those who don't know just how difficult and heartbreaking IVF can be.

It was good that you decided to share your IVF journey with us here on Fertility Friends too - I know a lot of people enjoyed reading your posts, which were perceptive, thought provoking and humorous too at times. I hope that you found the support from the girls on here useful too.

My dh and I are not going to do any more tx, but although it was heart-rending having hope built up and then dashed, I'm still glad we did it, otherwise we would always have wondered. I hope you feel that when you can look back on things with a bit more distance, you'll also be glad that you tried.

I wish you and your DH all the very best in future.
Love Rach x


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## skyred (Oct 5, 2005)

Oh Im so sorry. Sending you and DH a huge   Take care of each other.
Hope you find your dreams.

How amazing of you to find the strenth to carry on with the BBC. In time you'll look back with pride. I know we all do.

skyred


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## lynette-m (Aug 7, 2005)

hi wannabemum,so sorry to hear your news. sending you and dh lots of          love lynette.x


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## miele (Sep 29, 2005)

Sorry to hear your news      . 

I know theres not much we can say to make you feel better, but your not alone.

Miele. x


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## als2003flower (Aug 4, 2005)

just wanted to say sorry to hear your bad news.... sending you a big  
als xx


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## *Kim* (May 5, 2002)

Diane

Really sorry it did turn out to be a BFN, I was really hoping it would change for you. 

Love Kimx  x x


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## ladyroxton (Sep 26, 2003)

Very sorry to hear your news  

Luv,
Katrina.


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