# so so sad



## lisasStars (Oct 26, 2009)

I am feeling very low. We have heard nothing about our referal to see if the nhs will fund the ivf for us to have a surrogate. everything is a terrible mess. I feel like there is no hope. It feels so hard. How can we possibly afford £12,000 expenses plus £5,000 a month for ivf? After burying my son and my daughter I am weak, emotional and terrified I wont get to hold my living baby. I would do anything to have a baby. I dont know what to do. We have already waited three months to even have a letter with a date for a first appointment ... we are getting nowhere and I hate my life right now.

Love Lisa


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

I'm sending you a hug    I can't offer any practical support hun, but hold on in there and I hope you get some answers soon,

Livity K x


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## firebolt1982 (Aug 24, 2009)

Sorry to hear you're feeling so down. I can't even imagine what it must be like.

My IPs managed to get funding for IVF with a surrogate (me) but it took about 3 years! They realise now that their biggest mistake was mentioning surrogacy. You should just apply for IVF. When it is granted, the clinic will be able to claim for the IVF portion of the treatment. But you will probably have to pay for the costs involved with the surrogate.

I don't know anyone who has been granted funding for the whole cost of surrogacy treatment. And if you mention surrogacy the PCT tend to get a bit scared. But all women are entitled to IVF funding (as long as you meet your PCT's criteria) and that will cover all treatment for you (scans, meds, egg collection) and you'll probably just be asked by the clinic to 'top up' to cover the costs for the surrogate.

Unfortunately, surrogacy isn't a cheap option. And it must be terrible to have to consider it as an option at all. But when you think of the amount some people spend on houses, cars, holidays etc. You will be working towards something so much more rewarding.

I hope that helps. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Mandy xxx


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## Diane72 (Oct 29, 2007)

Lisa,

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. 

DH and I are feeling very down after just having our 5th miscarriage and already being in many tens of thousands of debt to get to the stage we are at, we are now looking at how we borrow enough for surrogacy. It is quite depressing without doubt. 

Re: £5000 a month. Its £5000-£6000 for a cycle but I certainly don't imagine doing it one month after the next (and have never done this during my own treatment) and actually I don't think that would necessarily be very good for the surrogate either, it may be you only decide to do it once if thats all you can afford. It may also be that you manage to get enough embryos to freeze in your first cyle and a frozen embryo transfer is much, much cheaper.

Sending you lots of hugs  

Diane


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## summer99 (May 5, 2009)

I have just read the very sad story and I just want you to know there is hope. I cannot for a second imagining what you must live through each day. Your friend who offered to be a surrogate has obviously put thought to it and I think perhaps when your ready the two of you should chat more and research it together.  I think it would be nice for your friend to do that as she knows what you have been through and she would never offer unless she meant it. I almost wish i could help you....I am using a surro because i cant carry, she is my step sis. I know your babies are in heaven now but I really hope you can follow this through and have your baby forever. xx


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

big hugs and deep breaths ou have so much going round your head atm, all is possible it just doesnt always feel it and Ive been exactly where you are now so I do sympathise, please pm me if you'd like to talk


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