# Unsure about FET



## evan80 (Nov 30, 2013)

I had my first fresh ivf cycle in April 2013.  Dh and I had 5 frozen blasts from this cycle.  Soon after I got the BFN I wanted to go for the FET as soon as possible but because we were flat broke DH wanted to save up a bit before we start again and he felt that we should go at the beginning of next year.  Time seemed to drag on until it was time to contact the clinic.  We contacted the clinic and we received the protocol for the meds. And at one point I just couldn't wait to get started.  But the closer I get the less keen I feel to start.  

I am so skeptical about the success of FET that I just don't feel eager to go at all.  I feel this huge apathy about the whole FET cycle and it almost feels as if I can't be bothered with it.  Sometimes I get the feeling that DH is more keen to go than myself.  I should be starting meds on Day 21 of my next period (I get my period in two weeks' time).  

I want kids more than anything but it's like I have totally given up now.  Has anyone every felt like this before a cycle?


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## Sarapd (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi Evan
I've felt like this before every cycle and it's how I feel now. I'm sure it's just a defence mechanism kicking in. Please try and be positive about your FET - I found it much easier on my body and I got my first ever BFP albeit short lived. 
I'm trying to relax and enjoy Christmas and I know I'll be fine once the cycle starts.
Good luck.
Sara. xx


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## MV (Jan 23, 2008)

Hi Evan80,

I just wanted to wish you luck and positiyvity for your FET cycle. I have one healthy baby boy and sadly two miscarriages but all all as a result of FET so it really can work. It is also as Sara says a lot easier on your body.

all the best to both you and Sara.

Mv


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

I only agreed to using my 2 frozen embryos because my clinic would not allow me to have another fresh donor cycle until I had. I made my husband get his cheque-book out on the spot to sign up for the donor waiting list again because I wanted to start again as soon as possible - I was that convinced it would fail. Last Wednesday was the 4th anniversary of getting my BFP and my little girl is now a very excited 3 year old who can't wait for Father Christmas to come tonight!

I know how hard it is to feel positive about a FET when a fresh cycle has failed - its like it is doomed from the start and you are setting yourself up for a guaranteed fall. But it really can, and does, work. The most extreme case I know is my friend Briony - she was reminded that she had an embryo that had been in the freezer for nearly 10 years and was coming up to it's destruction date - she reluctantly used it and her little girl was born in March. Now that really shows how resilient those few cells really are.

If positivity was a factor in getting pregnant then I wouldn't have my little girl, so even if you don't feel excitement about going ahead then try to just see it as something you have to get through.

I hope that you are as blessed as I have been and that next Christmas will see your dreams made reality.

Caroline


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## evan80 (Nov 30, 2013)

Thanks for all the words of encouragement girls.  It is such a hassle to plan out our IVF cycles because we are having treatment in the UK but we do not live in the UK.  So to plan time off work and also plan flights and accommodation is very difficult.  Not to mention the extra expenses we have to incur to pay out for flights and accommodation in addition to the treatment only to find out that it has not worked.  

We were given a success rate of only 30% for FET so that is even more discouraging and I am also worried that the embryos will not thaw and if the FETs don't work then we cannot afford another fresh cycle.  So this is probably why I am so reluctant to go for another cycle because right now I still have hope but if the embryos do not thaw or the cycle doesn't work there is no more hope for us.


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## naddie (May 1, 2012)

Evan80, you must stay positive, I think 30% is a good success rate, I am having an FET in January, I dread the thaw also, my consultant is giving me a 10% success rate, but I am going to stay as positive as I can, why would an embryo want to implant in a negative body, good luck in your journey xx


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## tina11 (Nov 29, 2012)

Evan80- hun be positive. I had 2 fresh cycles which were both BFN. I had an embryo left over from each cycle and had them both transferred in Nov. I got a bfp my first ever. Both of them thawed well, one 100% and the other 90%. usually thaw rate is very good.

I would recommend an endo scratch which will help with implantation. i was on steroids and blood thinners.

good luck hun 

xxxxxxx


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## boris3428 (Oct 3, 2012)

Evan80 - I just wanted to say that I was also convinced my FET wouldn't work. I didn't see why it would, when my fresh cycle with a higher quality embryo had ended in an early miscarriage. 

I went through the motions and went ahead with it as in order to progress to the next fresh cycle, we needed to do that, but I was extremely pessimistic. Like you, I live abroad and was travelling to the UK for treatment, and it seemed like an awful lot of effort for the inevitable failure. We had 3 frosties, and took them all out - 1 didn't make it, but the other 2 survived (a 3BB and 4BB) with 90% and 75% of their cells intact. We had both of these transferred. After transfer I was convinced it hadn't worked and eventually my DH made me test 3 days before my test date so we could confirm this and move forward. I am now over 18 weeks pregnant! 

I made a few changes this cycle including have an endometrial scratch before hand, using embryo glue and also steroids, so it is hard to say which made the different, but FETs CAN and DO work. 

Hope this gives you some faith. Best of luck. xx


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## evan80 (Nov 30, 2013)

naddie you are right - an embryo will not want to implant itself in a negative body and hopefully when I get started I feel a bit more positive about the whole cycle.  Best of luck for your FET.

boris congratulations on your pregnancy.  That is great news.

For our first FET, I will be having the endo scratch and the clinic also suggested that we try the embryo glue.  I am also starting acupuncture soon because maybe it will help me to relax a bit more.  So hopefully one of these three changes will help to make the cycle work. 

Thanks for all the positive thoughts.


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