# New & have questions on adoption



## Ally72 (Apr 26, 2006)

Hi there  

I'm new. This morning I received the information pack on adoption & have read through it - DH will do so tonight. There is quite a lot to digest isn't there! I was wondering if you could recommend any books to read or sites to obtain more in depth info? DH & I have a lot to think about & any help you can throw our way would be really appreciated.

One thing the pack says about Voluntary Childlessness is "Applicants from couples who have chosen not to have a family of their own by birth may be considered in certain circumstances". Why will they only may be considered? We are considering adopting now & having a biological baby later - would this be a problem? 

I am looking forward to getting to know you. 

Ally (from Hertfordshire)


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Hi Ally

firstly, WELCOME to FF. Have you looked on the BAAF website ? there is lots of info on there plus adoption uk is a good source of info too 

good luck hun

pam xx


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## Ally72 (Apr 26, 2006)

Thanks Pam, I'm off to have a browse now!..........


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi Ally,

my understanding of why they might say that is that having adopted a child, they need to be sure you will put their needs first. So depending on the child, how long they take to settle, it may be that having one of your own might not be a good thing. So they'd need to be sure that that concept was something you were confortable with.

When we went to panel the fact that we had not said "we definately would never try IVF" was put as a bad thing. Even though we said that we couldn't possibly know one way or another. our SW was very good though and pointed out to panel that we were being honest, and that we knew it would look better to say "no we'll never consider it" , but decided that honesty was better.

good luck with it all and you'll find everyone on here really friendly and helpful
xx


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## alex28 (Jul 29, 2004)

hi Ally and welcome 

i would recommend www.adoptionuk.org  as well. very informative site - i have joined and u get lots of info etc.

good luck


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## Ally72 (Apr 26, 2006)

Hi Ruthiebabe - aah now I understand what they mean. Mmm, it's a toughie & I can see how they would be worried. One of the reasons I am for adoption is that my dad was adopted when he was a baby. I want to give a baby/child a good start in life just like my nanna & grandad did for my dad. 

It must have been hard for you for the panel to take the IVF andwer as a bad thing. I'm pleased to hear your SW pointed out your honesty as after all that is so important. Good luck with everything


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## Ally72 (Apr 26, 2006)

Thanks alex28 - nice to meet you. Am going to make a cuppa & then I will have a browse...


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

Hi Ally,
Good to meet you. You will find it very supportive and helpful writing here and everyone is lovely. ask anything you want to know and usually you will get something back we all like to throw our penny worth in. We had a wonderful chat night recently which was great to get to know each other better, it was such a success I am sure it will happen again.
Anyway welcome and I look forward to chatting away.
JD x


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## Barbarella (Jun 11, 2005)

Just want to welcome you Ally... and wish you the best of luck.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you...

Cx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

hi ally,

it didn't hold us back too much though as we're about to go to matching panel on the 11th of may for a 2 year old boy (nickname Boo on here). so although its taken ages in coming at least we're nearly there.


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## Ally72 (Apr 26, 2006)

Hi jilldill & Barbarella - thanks for the warm welcomes. I must say this is such a friendly forum & I will no doubt be asking loads of questions in the future  

Ruthiebabe, that's great news...congratulations  All the best for 11/5 & the last stage of your journey.


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Ally

Just wanted to say Hi & welcome, I'm an "old" hand at adoption compared to some on here so although I can help you with lots of things if you want, I'm not up to date as the "newer" ones on here.

We first adopted 9 years ago now, that's why I call myself "old" my age has nothing to do with it!!
 
Love
Andrea
xx


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## Ally72 (Apr 26, 2006)

Hi 'old' Andrea (sorry for being cheeky!)

Thanks for your message - I'm sure I'll be bending ears soon!!


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

Hi Ally,
Great to see you writing here, I can promise you the help and support from all the girls are invaluable.
Love JD x


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## Lauren (Jul 2, 2004)

Hi Ally,

Just wanted to say hi and welcome - this really is such a positive place to be and you will definately get loads of help and support from everyone.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Ally,

A warm welcome from me too!

Good luck with your journey.

Laine


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