# Egg Sharing for ICSI



## angel_lass (Sep 10, 2008)

Hi ladies,

I just wondered if any of you are egg sharing and how you feel about the ethical issues of this? I feel its something that I would like to do and not only because it would give a baby to some else who couldn’t manage it but also because it would keep the cost down for us (money is an issue  ).  I don’t have a problem with it and I don’t think that I am being flippant about that, but the bit about it not being anonymous bothers DH and doesn’t like the fact that, that child can find out who I am in 18 years time!!

Are you glad that you done it and is it something that you think about?


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## jobo28 (Dec 3, 2008)

hi angel

sorry to hear that you are needing tx 
dh and i are in exactly the same position, he was a little sceptical about the possible knock on the door in eighteen years by someone wanting to talk to mummyy!! 

i don't think your being flippent but it's important that you both understand it can happen and to decide how you'd deal with it if it did happen. 
all you are doing is donating cells not a baby or even an embryo, a bit like giving blood. others will have all the joy of changing that cell into a baby not you.

i have to admit i think that it would be wonderful to donate, you know as well as i do the pain and heartache of not being able to do what should come naturally   to change a couples lives and help them start a family is just lovely. i wouldn't have any maternal concerns about the eggs they aren't mine once donated they belong to the recipients - the parents.

on the other side perhaps if your dh looks at it from the child's point of view, if you were born to a mother, conceived of a donated egg would you look her after she'd raised you and think she's not my mother?!? 

I've had much the same conversations with my dh its hard come to terms with it all, i have to admit I'm more worried about the possibility of not having enough eggs to share and what to do about the costs afterwards. we are still waiting on initial consultation in the new year

hope it helps to know that there are others out there going through same, struggling to make difficult decisions, goodluck

jo xxxxxx


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## JoJo35 (Dec 17, 2008)

Hi Angel

I am completely with you and understand your DH concerns....my DP has been fantastic about it and obviously the worry of having that knock on the door in 18 years is something to consider.  However I myself was adopted at birth and my mum given the opportunity to have a family of her own ... something I think we are doing for other couples by sharing our eggs.  I am now 35 and although I know my biological history and the names and locations of my birth parents I have no intention of looking them up as I have my mum and dad and thats that..... I just hope that people who have children from donor eggs are honest with their children from a young age... I have known since I was 3 or 4 that I am adopted and I have grown up to respect that and not had any hidden shocks or surprises during teenage years.  If my tx is successful I will also be honest with my child about donating eggs because they could find out they have a half brother or sister out there somewhere...... something else to consider!  Sorry to waffle on but I think sharing eggs is a wonderful wonderful thing and 18 years is a long long way away xx  Good luck with your tx and hope to keep in touch.  

Jo x


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