# Heading towards Matching Panel :) A few questions



## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi All,

Me and DH have been given a provisional Matching panel date and in the next few weeks we have a day planned to meet Medical Advisor, both of LO's SW's (as they live in separate FC homes) and a contact worker and a planning meeting and would love some help from u all. 

Just wondering what to expect during these days and for any helpful tips or guidance  We have quite a few questions, nothing major but are they expecting us to ask a lot of questions?

Our 2nd meeting the following week, is the planning meeting, talking about intros.

How did ur planning meetings go? Was their flexibility i.e. on dates and times? and how in depth are the plans for intro's? Do u discuss when to start leave from work?

Is there a lot of paper work to complete between now and Matching panel? As I've heard of APR?

Also the only photo we have of the LO's is quite old at our last meeting we got to see a lot of more recent photo's and we never asked for one. Would it be unheard of to ask if we could have a recent photo?

Thanks in advance 

xx


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi dawn


How exciting


The planning meeting was done after matching panel. At the meeting there were our sw, FC sw, FC, and lo sw.  The meeting lasted a couple of hours. Our sw had already done a schedule with lo sw outlining the times we were going, how long to spend and the transfer day. We also went through what lo was like now, milestones, routine,likes and dislikes etc
We were very lucky as our lo FC is lovely, she was always sending me pics of lo from before matching panel and upto intros. She also did us a DVD of him as she didn't want us to miss his first crawl. 
They are flexible as our sw wanted intros a few days before, but FC wanted to have a goodbye party so we were happy to wait two days. (We had waited 11+ years to be parents a few days wasn't going to hurt)
They also go through a schedule of home visits, lac review visits etc, they will ask you if they are ok. 


Ask FC for a contact number, I must have texted our FC a few times asking why he was doing something, what was I doing wrong etc etc she was a huge support.


Leaving work was my choice, I took the week off before intros just to get everything ready, make meals to stick in the freezer, shopping, get lo a car seat, finish getting nappies, wipes, formula etc.
Also the week gave me time to recharge my batteries before the intros.


I can't remember a lot of paperwork, just another part asking why we had chosen our son and what we had to offer him etc. also we had to get another medical as it was more that  six months since our last one.


I hope that is of some help


Good luck xxxxx


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## Brummig (Jan 14, 2011)

First of all congratulations - you're nearly there!

It will feel really busy for the next few weeks.  I felt really fortunate that my employer was very supportive as I spent a lot of time on the phone outside the office talking to social workers and DH, and sometimes coming back in tears!

It's difficult because dates always seem to change and you are totally in the hands of everyone else - no-one will EVER ask you if that date is convenient.  All the leave that you have been saving for intros and arrival can get eaten into!  It can be very frustrating, but just try and focus on what it is leading up to - and ALWAYS email/ ring people to confirm meetings are still on.

Medical adviser - for us there were a lot of questions we needed to ask because of something that had come up on LOs medical.  Also, she has a complex family history, with several things mentioned in the report that we wanted clarification on.  Our SW came with us, it was quite informal (when we got in - trying to get in to the building, waiting area etc felt like waiting to visit a prison!).  Medical adviser was happy to answer all our questions, and some things she couldn't answer straight away, but wrote to us shortly after.

FC meeting - ours was awful because our SW hadn't come with us, but when we arrived at the venue there was a message to ring her urgently as something had come up she thought we needed to know.  There  was nowhere we could have a private chat, childs sw put in what she said was a private room but after a couple of minutes on speakerphone she came back in to tell us whole office could hear us.  We ended up going in very late and upset, and that was first time we met FC!  

Planning meeting - was quite formal.  There was a reviewing officer (who was cross with child's sw so it was all a but frosty).  Our SW advised don't worry too much about the small details of intro, work it out with the FC.  There were some things we needed to stress - mainly about our birth childs needs.  In the original plan with early starts and late finishes we weren't going to see him for 4 days before lo arrived which, and he would only have met her once.  In all honesty, the original plan bears little relation to what actually happened, but we got to see all the routines, and do most of it.  Our FCs were great and we agreed lots of things with them as we went along.  The night before lo came home in the plan we were putting her to bed, then driving the 80 miles home with all her things, getting her room ready before going back for 8.30 next morning to collect her, but we agreed for FCs to put have that last night with her so we left after bath.  Be prepared to fight for things you really don't agree with, especially that involve money, eg if you need overnight accommodation, how many nights etc, but not too much about timing.  The planning meeting will also go through a lot of paperwork, including finance details between the local authorities.  You will feel exhausted by the end of it!

As a general rule of thumb - expect anything!  Always have lots of change for car parks, take a drink, notepad, lots of patience!  Take a note of everyone's name - I didn't and kept forgetting everyone!  It will be frustrating but as our social worker kept reminding us (we had lots of problems with lo's team) it will all fade away when lo arrives.


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## weemoofrazz (Sep 6, 2013)

Hi Dawn7

Were just about at the same stage as you having met legal advisor, medical advisor and the 2 blues SW. Were just waiting on a date for matching panel and are meeting the FCs in just over a week. I am grateful that you posted the question and even more grateful to all who have replied with excellent advice and info! 

Brummig, your meeting with the FCs must have been difficult after the SWs phone call! We are meeting our 2 blue's FCs with just the boys SW there, our's can't manage. We have 2 sets of FCs to meet and ask questions of in a one hour meeting, let's hope it goes ok as it's going feel a bit like me and DH against the world if it doesn't without the support of our SW! 

Dawn7 best of luck with everything that's to come, I expect were going to be busier than we ever thought possible, especially with all the meetings!


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Thanks girls for ur informative, reassuring and honest replies 

I feel much better when I know what to expect, like us all really we just want to be prepared for everything lol

Especially after Brummig's comment about expect everything haha nothings ever easy hey.

MacGyver - Wonder why our planning meeting is before MP? Maybe they'll plan another meeting later for HV's and LAC's as were quite a way off MP.

I do hope we learn a lot more about our LO's, might have to ask our SW for  a more recent pick.

I will look to get FC's tel. no's, I think they've been fostering for awhile, so will probably expect me to ask lol

Good news about there not being lots of paperwork, I have read about being asked why these children and how can u support there needs, although I know why, I hate thinking about putting this down onto paper and waffling on lol

I hope they don't ask us to do medicals again as they were really expensive, well £100 each   xx

Brummig - I know its really exciting, we're 8 weeks tomoz from MP, hoping intros start pretty much after.

Sorry to hear about ur FC visit, not surprised u were upset. I've seen both sets of FC's mums on dvds we've seen and they seem lovely (Fingers crossed).
I hate confrontation and disagreeing with people lol But I suppose with everything going on, I/we will have to ask them to be a little bit flexible, especially as both boys will be coming home separately and we need to do 2 lots of intros. We're fine with this as they think its in the boys interest, its just DH is self employed and DH has just been promoted. But again FF and Children's sw seem lovely and hope they'll support us and understand. xx

Weemoofrazz - It's nice that ur around the same stage as us and I had to post this question as I need to know what to expect lol However when FF and Children's SW came round the first time, we didn't ask half the questions we wanted to, as they answered them for us just talking about the boys.

I hope u get ur MP date soon - look forward to seeing what date ur given lol hoping for u its before me. I know August isn't too far away but I just want to meet LO'S. xx


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