# Confused lady seeking advice



## Rumi88 (Dec 19, 2017)

I am a 42.5 year old single woman and I am debating treatment with my own eggs with donor sperm ( same donor as I had with my son) or donor eggs with my donor sperm. 

Last May 2017 I had an AMH of 39. It is high because I have PCOS. Everything else is normal and I have lots of follicles and I've had scans which show this. I had a son born through IVF 3 years ago ( when I was 39.5) with a long protocol but mild stimulation as I have PCOS. I bleed irregularly for a few days each cycle with gaps between periods being different each time (eg. 4 weeks, 5 days, 5weeks 3days, 6weeks and a day, 7weeks and 2 days etc. ) I was BMI 30 when I did my first IVF cycle 3 years ago (after one failed IUI) and I am now a little more than that. I used frozen sperm from xytex in America. I also have a vial of sperm reserved from the same donor for a sibling and can buy more. I conceived my son age 39.5 as I said.

In the IVF cycle from 3 years ago they collected 17 eggs, 14 fertalised, 9 normally, 3 atypically and 2 abnormally, 4 blastocysts developed to a stage considered suitable for transfer but in the end I was left with two blastocysts. One embryo they transferred which became my son 
( he's now 2 and a quarter.) The other they froze and I transferred it last October 2017 but I miscarried at 3 months. Cytogenetic testing revealed it was a trisomy 8 pregnancy. The two embryos had both been top quality 
( 4Aa). I am now 42.5 and debating treatment with my own or donor eggs. I have a limited pot of money 
(£15,000 total) and after this I would have to save hard and it may take me a couple of years to raise enough for another cycle, but I don't really want to be going through treatment at 45 or above. I only wish to transfer one embryo at a time because of the risk of twins, which is a risk I can't take as a single mum already. Time is of the essence to me as I would like a sibling for my son as soon as possible and I want to do this soon as I am getting older and more tired! As much as I would like to use my own eggs ( it is a big loss), I have realised that the regret of not having a sibling would be worse for me than the regret of not having used my own eggs. I also find treatment very stressful and it takes away from time with my son. 

I've had various consultations with new clinics in Bristol and a couple in London as my old clinic ( bcrm) has a long waiting list for donor eggs. These are the percentage chances I was given with my own eggs. Some say different figures at the same clinic because they are different consultants views:

12 % bcrm ( no pgs or ngs)
30%  London women's clinic Bristol ( preg rate)
15% live birth rate and 26.9 pregnancy rate at Create ( Mild stimulation with icsi and ngs testing- he said the ngs testing would improve my success rate but he didn't know by how much.)
CRGW ( 10% live birth rate) - she was worried about risk of downs for me and more miscarriages and so suggested donor eggs)
London Women's clinic London ( The Bridge) Own eggs with NGS testing- 35% live birth rate and another consultant giving the same opinion said 20% live birth rate with NGS testing because he thought the other guy had quoted 40-42 year old figures and he said I am 43 in June 2018 so 20% was more accurate. 

My most recent consultant at my old clinic ( who doesn't think NGS testing is a good idea because The fertility association don't recommend it said she thought I had about a 20-25 % pregnancy rate and 10-15 % live birth rate. 

Most of them.quoted live birth rates of about 50 percent with an exclusive donor egg cycle and pregnancy rates of approx 60% per cycle. 

I don't want to do egg donation abroad because of anonymity and I want the child to be able to trace their origins if they want. Cheapest donor egg exclusive cycle I can find is Manchester fertility at £9,000 all in or altrui at a local clinic for 10,000 all in. 

London women's clinic London said go for donor egg treatment doing one exclusive cycle first ( 75 % success rate with altrui) and if that doesn't work use your left over money 4-6,000 to do an egg share cycle. He thought it was better to have the backup than try once with my own eggs leaving me reliant on only one cycle of donor eggs with an exclusive donor. The trouble is I keep thinking what if the LWC Bristol consultant is right and that I have a 30% chance of pregnancy. If he is right it would probably be worth risking one with own eggs and NGS testing and then having only one exclusive donor egg cycle to fall back on. Quretin. 

Who do I believe?

How can I make sense of such differing figures? I met a lady the other day who had been seen.by the same consultant who was saying she had been given 
a 15-20% chance ( don't know if this is pregnancy rate or live birth rate ) with an AMH of 7.3 at 44 years old and was being told she had "a very good chance of ivf working" by doing 3 cycles of ivf lite there. ( Compared with national average of 11%)

I keep thinking if she is older and has lower AMH and follicle count than me he must have thought I was so likely to get pregnant with own eggs without ngs testing. I was given a 35% chance some 3 years ago by my old clinic before having my son so they do seem very high. 

What do people think?

Which person do I trust on this and do I go donor or my own eggs for one based on all this? Or do I leave the backup as an egg share cycke 

Would be most grateful for your advice.


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

You success rate for a live birth is very low with OE.  I should imagine it's around 5% however I'd not get too caught up in actual percentage because it means nothing if you end up repeatedly with BFN then feel demoralised. If you want to go for OE why not look at maximising how many goes you can have by going abroad or look at ABC IVF clinic in London? If you only get 1 or 2 to day 5 I wouldn't even bother with NGS because of the cost and nature would sort things out if you put both back.
I think your real decision is actually do you want to go ahead with donor eggs or not? It will by far give you the best chance and has a good chance of working first time so will save the disruption for your son.  If you are already comfortable with using donor eggs then I'd recommend it.  It's much less stressful process and better chance of success plus might give you some frozen for siblings in the future. Your chosen clinic might work with an agency to find you a donor so you don't have a wait. 
TCCx


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## Rumi88 (Dec 19, 2017)

I don't seem to have got any replies to my post. It's my first time using this forum so I'm not sure how it works..could anyone advise how I might go about getting and replies from kind folk? Have I posted my question in the wrong place ?


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

Perhaps you can't see my response for some reason?
TCCx


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Rumi88 said:


> Thank you so much for your reply. Would you be prepared to chat sometime on the phone? If so could you private message me on social media. My name is xxxx


For your own safety please remove your name. 
Re your posts, given you've discounted abroad I'd do this: London women's clinic London said go for donor egg treatment doing one exclusive cycle first ( 75 % success rate with altrui) and if that doesn't work use your left over money 4-6,000 to do an egg share cycle
Ps same age


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## bundles (Jul 16, 2011)

Rumi I have removed your post with your name in it. Please be careful about giving out personal & traceable details on a public forum.

Bundles
Site Management


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