# And so the journey begins! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!



## Lissie29 (Feb 21, 2016)

Hi Everyone! I've been browsing this site for the last year but have only now worked up the courage (or maybe I just need a lot of support!) to actually post on here-hoping you guys can shed some light on the myriad of questions that I have.

Basically my DP and I have decided that now would be a good time to try and have children (a very liberating decision for us!), though this excitement was very short lived when we realised the barriers that are involved with us wanting to start a family. Initially I thought (naively) that it would admittedly be costly, but no where near the amount that it's creeping up to be! I thought that it was entirely feasible to source the "materials" from Cryos online and conceive in the comfort of my own home-that is, until I realised the **** doesn't regulate the importation of human tissue and so were the shipment to be stopped at customs then we'd be in quite a bit of trouble  So then, I looked at the whether or not any help would be available on the NHS (I live in Northumberland) and again, this was not to be! By this point I'm becoming quite despondent but soldiered on and did all the required research into private treatment options (phew HOW much?!) But now, we've made peace with the fact that unfortunately, it's just the reality of our situation that we will have to self fund for around about 6 cycles of iui. And so, I walked into my GP's surgery and asked about a possible referral, which was quite humorous since they had never had to refer anyone before (at least this particular doctor hadn't), so after much conferring with the other doctors, I was told (what I already knew) that I would have to be referred to a local fertility unit for tests etc, but that ultimately we would have to self fund. We're currently saving to fund these cycles (because let's face it, nature might not be kind to us the first few times) and I'm feeling a mixture of things; happy that actually this is a real option for us now, frustrated that it costs so much money each cycle and sometimes (and I feel terrible for doing this but,) quite jealous of everyone that seems to be able to get pregnant so easily without any of the heartache. Also, I'm in a bit of a quandary as to which fertility unit to choose, especially as I have been unable to find any clear wait times for donor sperm (I have tried to contact the respective clinics).... so I guess my questions are:

1. Has anyone used the Newcastle Centre for Life for iui with donor sperm? And does anyone know the wait time for donor sperm?
2. Has anyone used the Queen Elizabeth Hospital Gateshead for iui with donor sperm? Anyone know the wait time for donor sperm?
3. I'm just curious to know who else is experiencing this rollercoaster of emotion at the minute? There's only so much me and my DP can talk about and it would be nice to have an opportunity to talk to other people in the same situation!

Sorry if this was a bit of a rant, I've been bottling these feelings up for what seems like forever! And I'm looking forward to hearing everyones' thoughts, experiences and advice


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## Kayles-Joey (Jun 2, 2016)

Hi 

Me and my partner our now expecting our first child, but it has been a very long process!!
Like you we went first with the option of IUI, we had 2 goes of this both resulting in bfn then moved on to IVF again bfn and then one FET again BFN  in total we spent over £15k. We received no funding from the NHS unfortunately. Although I have read that some ladies have been lucky and have had help so it's worth and ask. In the end we used a site called pride angel and found our own private donor we then did AI at home which worked on the 3rd try. 
I know this isn't an option for everyone but if you get to a stage where you exhaust all your finances (which I hope you don't, but we did) then don't give up as there are other routes that can be taken


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## Herts85 (Oct 10, 2014)

Hi Lissie,

If you look on the regional boards I'm sure you'll find ladies who have used those clinics recently. (I'll try to find the link and add it).

I can completely understand all your frustrations, I think they are shared by a lot of same sex couples. One thing I would reccomend is if you have any concerns at all that you may have underlying fertility problems then get a gynaecological referral now through your GP. There's a lot of testing they will do on the NHS and it may be that at the end you get a clean bill of fertility health - great, you can self fund as planned. Alternatively it could through up some unexpected issues which might mean that you'll either go into your funded treatment a lot more clued up and so won't waste money on unsuitable treatment or you may even qualify for NHS funding.

There's a few of us in a similar position (trying to get pregnant, pregnant first time, pregnant with number 2 and adopting)  It really helps to talk about it with people who know what you're going through! 

Good luck!
Herts x


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## KDJay (Sep 21, 2015)

Hi and welcome 

I remember how overwhelming it can feel and not knowin which is the best option , we initially did iui but quickly realised the stats were too low and we were too impatient to keep trying this way so we thought we would go to ivf and got a bfp first time. We egg shared, have you thought about this option? It really helps To keep cost down, I donated half my eggs to an anonymous lady and the other half to my dp and she is now 28 weeks pregnant. Not for everyone and there are criteria but may be a thought xxxx


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## [email protected] (May 8, 2016)

Lots of people have used and are using Cryos to provide frozen sperm for home AI in the UK. If you look in the Donor Sperm section in the Donor Conception subforum, there's more info


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## Hope2005 (Sep 24, 2005)

Hi, I used donor sperm from Cryos and it was very easy. Used a clinic in the same town (Aarhus). 


I share my story here (Profile) , I hope this helps.


Regards


Hope x


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## ElizaMunk (Sep 3, 2016)

Thanks for sharing these information here, they were really useful. We too are a lesbian couple. My partner and I met about five years ago through a professional lesbian matchmaking company called bespoke matchmaking http://www.bespokematchmaking.com/ and we have been wanting to have a child for so long.

/links


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## kabuk1 (Aug 18, 2016)

We've used Pride Angel and Cryos. We found someone on Pride Angel first, but with scheduling issues, we eventually opted for frozen sperm. I just got a BFP with sperm from Cryos delivered to my home. There are plenty of people who have had it delivered. I don't know of anyone who has had issues with import.


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