# Can't help feeling so sad-any advice?



## louise85 (Dec 17, 2003)

Hi Girls

I have been very lucky to have my lovely boys from my 1st ICSI tx. They are the world to me. However after being told that we had a 5% chance of conceiving on our own I managed it last year! only to m/c at 9 wks 
We tried ttc naturally but nothing happened and I was getting obsessed. We tried ICSI again but got a BFN. I'm going to have a FET soon but I'm feeling really negative about the whole thing.
We had a lovely family day yesterday but all I could do was sulk about the fact that I'm not pg and all of my friends seem to have no problem.
I would love to wake up tomorrow and not have this want for another baby inside me. Its tearing me up.
Has anyone else felt like this and how did you deal with it?
We will continue with tx but as my DH said how far we will go to get another baby when we already have 2 beautiful ones already?

Sorry for the negative post but needed to get it off my chest.
Thanks for listening xxx


----------



## spjulac (Oct 2, 2007)

Hello. Welcome, I couldn't read and run. You are very lucky to have your boys. I too, spend much time distracted from what I do have thinking about what I don't have. I too have times when I experience that sadness. I don't have any advise other than I have found it very helpful posting here.


----------



## kitten1 (Jan 1, 2007)

Snap Louise.

I am desperate to be pregnant again. It's even more of a consuming need now that I've already experienced it with C. But, DH and I aren't in a position to ttc#2 just yet. But, I'm happier knowing we're getting ourselves in tip-top condition while we wait. Makes me feel as though I'm doing something IYKWIM.

DH has already put his foot down and said 'NO' to any further tests / tx so it would have to be another miracle. Do you get two miracles in a lifetime??

I don't have any earthshattering advice for you. I don't think anyone will. But, posting on here will help you to deal with your feelings. Only time will tell if it works.

Mandy xx


----------



## natrlie (Mar 8, 2005)

Hi there
can I join in too, I too have a wonderful little boy through ICSI. Today a close friend of mine whose little boy is slightly younger announced she is pregnant due end Jan 09. We have already had one attempt at a failed ICSI to get a sibling. Suddenly today I felt really sad, this is the first time I have felt like this. I promised myself that I would not transfer the emotion of not being able to conceive naturally onto no 2, now that we have William, but somehow I cannot help it right now.
I feel really ungrateful, and agree that at times it can distract you from focusing on what you really have. I guess human nature/emotion is a strange thing, and rather unpredictable.
Ah well, good to know others feel like me and that I am not alone
take care
natrliexxx


----------



## Marielou (Oct 18, 2003)

I think its a totally normal feeling - many of my friends with babies of a simillar age to me are announcing new pregnancies, or have already had new babies and it brings it all back to me that feeling of not being 'one of them', if that makes any sense?  
We've had a failed FET and are about to embark on IVF#4 - all I want is a sibling for my son, the thought of him being an only child is a very sad one right now, but I am more positive these days, after all, once upon a time, the thought of no children was impossible, 

Marie xxx


----------



## LadyMoonlight (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi Everyone

I know exactly how you all feel.  I am DESPERATE to have another baby.

I have a beautiful 20 month old little boy, who I know I'm very, very lucky to have, but I so desperately want to give him a little sister or brother! I miss being pregnant, I miss the excitement of scans, name-choosing, shopping for baby bits, I miss holding a beautiful little newborn, all those milestones my son has passed - first smile, first solids, first laugh, sitting up, crawling.  I am so desperate to experience it all again and the thought that I won't makes me so depressed.

I'm still Breastfeeding my son and my AF has come back but although we're BMs'ing at the righttime every month, I get the dreaded AF right on cue every month. It feels hopeless.

We can't access ART now - we just can't afford it (we've had to take out a massive extra mortgage to do essential work on our house and theres noone in our family rich or generous enough to help).  We won't get NHS help now we have a child. ICSI is just too expensive for us now. So we're trying naturally - without success.

DH has a low sperm count and I was diagnosed with mild endometriosis before I had DS.  

I feel so despondent and miserable.  I've been accepted to do a teacher training course in September but I have no enthusiasm for it.  All I want is to be pregnant again.  the thought that my son will never have a brother or sister, and I will never experience pregnancy again makes me so desperately unhappy, I just don't know what to do
.  how do you bear it?  We're trying hard and doing everything right and nothing's working


----------



## louise85 (Dec 17, 2003)

I'm so sorry that you feel like I feel. We tried ttc the old fashioned way - I started charting, used a fertility monitor etc and still AF turned up. Why when you work so hard at something can you not get the result that we deserve.

I hope that you get a natural miracle baby or that you can find some way of having tx again.


----------



## LizWiz72 (Jul 18, 2008)

Hi ladies, can I join in please?

I know how you all feel - I had a terrible day yesterday, one of my NCT friends gave birth, and all my other NCT friends are pregnant.  It's so not fair that I can't fall easily with No.2.  I have my gorgeous daughter who is now 2 and half, I am desperate to have another child for her sake as well as mine.  I had a ectopic pregnancy in April, and had emergency surgery to remove my right tube.  My left tube is damaged from previous surgery before my daughter to remove a fibroid, so she was a complete miracle, and I know I'm lucky to have her - she is my world.  I have my HSG scan Friday to see how damaged/blocked my left tube is, and our first IVF apt next Tuesday.  I'm trying to keep/stay positive, but it's so hard when there's pregnancy and newborn babies all around me.  The hardest part is that everyone has moved on now, and think I'm ok as I don't mention my loss anymore.  It's even harder to watch 2 of my friends pregnant and they are due at Christmas when I would have been - we were weeks apart.

Sometimes I feel I'm being greedy wanting another child - but the ache doesn't go away.  Is anyone else going through IVF soon?

Liz x


----------



## samlynch7 (Aug 17, 2004)

Hi Ladies, can I join you.  

I can emphatise fully with you all, I feel the same, I am desperate for another baby, the ache never leaves.  I have a beautiful son who is almost 3 years old and he is everything to us but we have decided to try for a sibling and begin IVF again in September.  I dread getting back on the rollercoaster again but I think I would have more regrets if I didn't try for a sibling for our little darling boy.  I have regrets already that I didn't try earlier as I am 39 now and time is running out.  We got a positive on our second IVF treatment and so I am trying to stay positive about the whole thing.  I guess if you don't try you won't get that much longed for second baby.  I don't mind the practical side of the treatment, it is the emotional roller coaster that I fear.  

Sam


----------

