# TV programmes... that pee me off



## maybe tomorrow (Jul 5, 2008)

Hi lovely FF,
I feel that I have to air whatIm feeling right now.... I have just been watching a programme I usually enjoy ..... why is it that they insist on introducing people as "mother of 2" etc..... etc etc.... so b****y what!!!!! How about if one of us off this site were to be on there - would they introduce as "infertile or unable" blah blah blah"................it upsets me so much and think its so b****y wrong....  
I was almost forced at work to meet a customer with a week old baby today...I just smiled thru my tears and had to say "lovely" and walk away - why dont people understand??
I can cope with toddlers onwards but newborns just break my heart.... I want all this pain, physical and mental, to go away.
Sorry to sound so negative but its how I feel today

Karen#xxxx


----------



## rosebud_05_99 (Apr 15, 2008)

I know what you mean, when I hear of things happening it irritates me to hear them refered to as mother of 1 or father of 2 ect , if there was something happened and they were reporting about me i wonder would they say 'some childless woman'. societys places so much emphasis on being parents it really is heartbreaking for those of us excluded.

rosebud


----------



## nbr1968 (Feb 25, 2008)

I know exactly what you mean - on one channel there has been this nature series ....anyway... I cannot watch this programme because for no reason whatsoever the programmes seems to have focussed on the family rather than on the Nature - it's all shots of shoving two young children into the camera, holding them on shoulders etc...talking about how they will cope with sea crossings etc....gets me so annoyed because there is no relevance in bringing his family along and it all seems gratuitous to me!

It honestly gets to the point where I think that Society has no value for us childless people. One channel has been running programmes since th start of the year all about children related subjects. I canot remember the time when any Channeol did a really good and "real" programme about involuntary childlessness or even a programme featuring IVF where the couple did not have a happy ending - after all the majority of IVF (statisticall) are not successful.

Makes me feel excluded 
Nbr68xxx


----------



## shellspain (Oct 29, 2007)

I feel exactly the same. Have to change channels as soon as one person comes on TV as they always harp on about their family.
I also get really wound up with a lot of tv adverts too for the same reasons.

What worries me is it just me being oversensitive or do I risk becoming one of them bitter nasty women?


----------



## fifiona (Nov 24, 2007)

Oh Karen,

thank you so much I thought I was going mental. I feel exactly the same and the whole world seems to be obsessed with childbirth and pregnancy. If I hear another person or celeb saying if you were a mother you would understand how this must feel......
I am trying so hard to focus on the good things and count my blessing ( which are many) and there is always something there to remind me....

Thanks you


----------



## sarah9475 (Mar 7, 2007)

Ladies, I know exactly what you mean, even when watching the football the commentators refer to the number of children the players have - I find myself shouting at the TV 'Who cares', also get annoyed with the supermarkets - no I don't want vouchers for schools - I have no children!

Nice too know I am not alone,

Love Sarah XXX


----------



## maybe tomorrow (Jul 5, 2008)

Hello ~Ladies,
Im glad that I have brought the subject up - if it helps you ladies get things off your chest too...
I am so sensitive at the moment, Im finding it hard to deal with day to day living to be honest - I am trying so hard to not let it show, my DP has been so fantastic over the last few months especially, and I dont want to keep harping on and on about it  
I have just come into work and one of the ladies in my office is talking about Mothers Day and I just said that I think there should be a national infertility day and we get flowers and presents etc....I feel like Im cracking up and really dont know how to deal with it      
I cant even bear one advert for **** Nbr, it upsets me so much too.. I can deal with older children but babies just throw me off track completely.   
xxxxx


----------



## nbr1968 (Feb 25, 2008)

Hi again

Shellspain I am glad it is not just me that thinks "enough already, three's enough!". How wonderful to have three healthy girls and think "I'd like a boy" - if there is anyone up there listening, please can i just have one live child?

At the moment Maybetomorrow, I know exactly how you feel . I too am very sensitive. Trouble is I don't want people's mock sympathy - I am sure there are alot of people who look at IF voyeuristically and congratulate themselves that it does not affect them! Grrrrr.

I have started a thread about the upcoming Mothers' Day here on FF
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=230660.0;topicseen

Its for all of us who had embies that never made it, stillbirths, mcs, tried with assisted conception and maybe never even got to fertilisation, and of course everything in between - basically I am saying that sadly, like so many on FF, I am a grieving Mum, but just never got to say "hello" to my LOs. IF took that from me. I was pg last Mother's Day and am going to find this one crappy. Please come and join us there.

I too am sick of all the celebs parading baby bumps or baby bumps to be. I just wish I had Nicole Kidman's dosh - then maybe I could throw everything at this, get a nutritionist, alternative therapies on tap, have every conceivable (excuse the pun!) test under the sun, have a fertility consultant on speed dial, get my test results within hours, and pay off everyone and claim I was using my own eggs! Now how's that for bitter!

And breathe!


----------



## Kookymare (Aug 12, 2008)

Hello!

The thing is when programs do touch on IF, does it make you feel any better? I just balled my eyes out   

Kookymare x


----------



## zoooooommmmm (Aug 5, 2009)

there's an advert that kills me, its for baby milk and has a child laughing in it. Can't bear it knowing I'll never hear my little one


----------



## maybe tomorrow (Jul 5, 2008)

Nbr - It is awful to feel excluded isn't it, I really feel "out on a limb" sometimes...last night me and DP went for a meal,with 2 of Dp's friends who also have children...When the converstion turned to the children I just dont know where to put myself sometimes, I think I just close off and probably come across as stand offish or rude, but the truth is at the moment Im feeling like Im dying inside. 
Last weekend one of my DPs little girls said something that cut me like a knife (i KNOW she never meant what she said, she is only a little girl but boy it hurt!! ) She was saying that I will neve ever get mothers day cards and presents....as i said, I know she never meant anything by it but its really struck a very raw nerve   I dont even know how she would know that I'll never be a mummy, all i did was tell the girls that I had a poorly tummy and needed an operation to make it better...

Fifiona - I tried to keep my feelings in about the TV programmes but its just got to me...everything is mum this dad this, so many children, blah blah blah...I wish that we had a button that turns off the emotional side of this turmoil that we have to go through.  People just dont understand it. My brother said something like "its not all its cracked up to be" or something along those lines, before the op - I would have like to have been the judge of that! 

Im hoping that one day soon I can find the "old happy Karen", but at the minute she is buried somewhere she doesn't want to be.. I just want to feel happy and relaxed, happy with my body and everything. I feel like Im lost.

Anyway...try to have a lovely weekend everyone.
Lots of love
Karen
xxxx


----------



## nbr1968 (Feb 25, 2008)

Ah yes, Maybetomorrow, I sooo know that feeeling - we all want the "old" us back - the one before the horror of IF hit! The one who was not cynical, not bitter, could watch TV without shouting "why do they put adverts for nappies/follow on milk etc" on during progs that have nothing to do with children!!! The one who could go about her daily life without noticing every pg woman, every baby being pushed in a pram, etc.

Isabellasky - that advert gets me too! the sound of the giggling baby is heartwrenching.

Maybetomorrow - the comment by your DPs daughter - gulp!  How do you deal with that?   to you - keep your chin up! Don't let the ******* get you down! Also friends going on about children - grrrrr - i do what you do -   !!!

have a good weekend too - let's try and treat ourselves shall we?


----------



## Bambam (Feb 14, 2008)

ladies

As you know I moderate this board as I am in the same position as you so understand your frustrations and hurt but can i remind you that FF does not allow reference to be made to specific programmes and celebrities. I have removed all references made and this is for your own protection as whilst only expressing your opinions you can expose yourself to the risk of libel and also being quoted by journalists who use this site at times for articles they publish.

Amanda xx


----------

