# Breaking the news to family



## Impatiens (Dec 11, 2012)

I am currently 15piui- OTD tomorrow  

DP and I discussing how we go about letting my aged folks know. Mum is retired Dr, Dad fairly sheltered. Want to let them know as soon as, as we are going to theirs for Christmas and my mother already asking me what I'd like to drink! 

Any suggestions of opening gambits? I am so nervous and want to reassure them that we are being responsible and it's becoming more and more common...

 Imp


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## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Hello. Are you wanting to know how to tell them your trying or that your pregnant? If it's the latter - congratulations! 

We used the bombshell method ie. BTW I'm 9 weeks pregnant!!!!! Which was really enjoyable for some people - loved watching their mouths fall open lol but I regret it for my in laws. They really should have been forwarned. They were great but totally gobsmacked. In hindsight, we should have told them we were trying when we had our BFP then gave them the good news after the 12 week scan. Either way, they couldn't love our son more (despite not being bio grandparents). 

I guess, telling them about your journey detailing all the appts you had with waiting inbetween etc will give them the message that this has been a long time coming & not an easy route by any means. As for being more common, tell them about the boards. There are lots of families that have been made on these boards (not literally) but lots of us & new babies added all the time (most of us post on our ******** group so it's fairly quiet these days)! Shame we dont have actual figures really as I'm sure we'd all be suprised at how many gay british familiesthere are. Best of luck x


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## Impatiens (Dec 11, 2012)

Welsh ginge- We will be testing tomorrow! So flippin nervous. 
What's the ** page? Is it a closed group?

Want to explain the long journey and careful consideration. Actually think they will eventually be fine, but may worry about wider family as not out to all Aunties and Uncles....

I know we would be more than lucky to get BFP first IUI but can't help hoping!


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## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Very best of luck for tomorrow!

The ** group is secret but your more than welcome to join. PM your name & what your profile pic is, I'll friend request you then add you to the group. You can always unfriend me once your a member.


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## single.mummy (Mar 12, 2009)

Good luck for tomorrow, we told our families post 12 week scan so we had a picture. Only prob was my SIL which was not to our face (she wrote a letter!!!!!) but since she has had children she has mellowed and accepted our family. She really had no choice!

On how common it is, I have recently been going around the local schools and approaching the head teachers to explain our family set up and ask how they would deal with any issues and all barr one school said that they already has similar families within the school, which I was very surprised at and very pleased about. I have to say I have been pleasantly surprised / shocked how open and welcoming all the schools have been.


Good luck for tomorrow.


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## Monkey07 (Jul 8, 2012)

Fingers crossed for a BFP for you today xx
With regards to telling we told immediate family and closest friends of our plans so although they didn't have any specific dates etc it didn't come as too much of a shock when we told them after our 6 week scan... The rest of our family and friends are probably going to get a bit of a shock after our 12 week scan on NYE   xx


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## Impatiens (Dec 11, 2012)

Oh MY we got a   today! Can't believe our luck so we went to get another test, and of course it was positive!! 

I didn't expect it to be able to work first time round- although I guess the IUI stats reflect lots of women with fertility probs and the F/F data gets absorbed into that...? I have looked on HFEA and Office of National Statistics but  F/F IUI data doesn't exist, I don't think.

We're going to my folks for Christmas so have decided I will talk to Mum this week as coming up with an excuse for not drinking is more trouble than it's worth, I think. Then will tackle in-laws after 6/7 week scan.

Now we are cautiously optimistic and just want to be safe until 12weeks....

Waaaaaahhhhh


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## Monkey07 (Jul 8, 2012)

Congrats  xx


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

Congrats


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## single.mummy (Mar 12, 2009)

Congratulations


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## Chopio (Dec 15, 2011)

Congratulations on your BFP    

Good luck with telling your folks too. We told my family back when we first started trying when we thought it would happen first time for us. It's been nice having them cheering for us along the way but a lot of different people and questions and perspectives. They mean well but with hindsight I wish I'd kept my mouth shut (famous last words!)

Most importantly I wish I'd thought a bit about the types of questions they might ask especially with regards to the sperm donor. Then my partner and I could have set some boundaries in advance about what information about him stays within our little family so that we can manage how our little ones learn that info. 

I hope the conversations go well for you!

Eeeeeeee! I love a BFP


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## Impatiens (Dec 11, 2012)

Sooo I told my Mum today! She was quiet and asked all the questions we anticipated, so it was a good job we'd prepared...
She had some understandable worries but was generally positive. I didn't go into a lot of detail, just said DP and I been discussing it for some time, and there had been plenty of careful research, investigations and procedures, and we were hoping for good news soon.

We then went shopping together and had a lovely day.

So relieved. In laws next.... think DP wants to involve them a little. I think if we say a similar thing to them, i.e deliberately vague until 12wks, I could cope with that  

Now wondering how to last until 7 wk scan....


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## pixnmix2010 (Jan 28, 2013)

Congrats xx


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