# A bright new dawn



## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

Hi there ladies

This summer sees our third anniversary of packing in treatment and starting to try to come to terms with the whole childless thing.  A lot has happened in that three years. I've felt the extreme emotions of complete loneliness, isolation and dispair, wondering  what on earth was I going to do for the next 20 years if the whole kid thing didn't work out? what's the point of it all? why bother getting out of bed? Why why why why why...

Well, eventually I have come to see the point of it all and the pain of the isolation, dispair and loneliness deminished and eventually evaporated (partly as a result of the ladies on this board to whom I owe a massive debt - almost, but not quite as much as I owe Visa!).  It's been an extremely difficult challenge and one I wouldn't volunteer for.

We are currently moving (downsizing in quiet a big way as it happens), I am developing my career in a path that would otherwise have been closed to me and we are planning a lot of travel in the next couple of years. Does it still hurt? You bet. From time to time it hurts like hell but somehow I've learned that it's OK to hurt and it's OK to heal (and weirdly, I've even hurt and healed simultaneously - work that one out).

I guess I just wanted to post this for those who wonder what the future might look like and see the horrible, dark black horizon I did three years ago. It ain't easy by any means but, three years on I know I can know answer all my "why's". Why? Because I'm worth it, my dh is worth it, we're worth it as a partnership and ultimately because this isn't a rehearsal for next time around. You get one life, don't waste it.

It's a tough old road ladies and you might lose a few battles along it, but you can win the war.

flipper


----------



## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Dearest Flipper 

Your crazy sense of humour never ceases to shine though no matter what [email protected] is being flung in your direction. Some who may not know you as well may think you are being 'flippant' (pardon the pun)   just wanted to say that you and your sense of humour have been one of the things that has helped cushion the journey along the way for me. Wish I could say you had treated me to a big slap up meal courtesy of your visa as well there!  

Enjoy your new lease of life, I know how hard you have battled to get to where you are at now. I am   that the move goes through ok for you, that you get lost somewhere on the planet whilst holidaying and dillydallying and have wonderful tales to regale us with upon your return... and that you buy me a nice cuppa next time we meet!  

I've just read that back, I'm not actually   you get lost somewhere on the planet, but you can read that I'm   you do buy me that cuppa!  

One more thing I have to say to you 'way to go Flipper'! Good on you mate (said complete with Aussie accent, of course)!  

Love, lashings of !
Emcee xxx


----------



## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hey Flipper - you sound so positive,i hope I am feeling this way next year when I hit the 3 year stage!  ( We would have been 3 years this year after the failed iuis but then I went through tests etc again the year after for clomid,miscarriage etc so that prolonged it a bit) 

I hope you get your house sorted - as i said on the "Things that make us smile post" was that we have finally finished decorating our sitting room-more or less which we had put on hold. Hope you really enjoy your travels - I am going to France again in July and I am trying to plan 2 trips next year ,one with my mum to New York and New England around Easter and the other next Summer to Italy with dh  for our 10th Wedding anniversary. I have a feeling I will need to keep busy in case of any family announcements!!! 

Good luck xxxx


----------



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Dear Flipper,
Thanks for the inspirational post! I hope I will be following in your footsteps. It's early days for me I guess and I'm still wobbling all over the place (and not just cos I need to go on a diet!) I hope you will still be sticking around to post here from time to time - we need you and your gsoh! 
I think a lot of us have hopes to travel a bit more - who knows we could compile a travel guide between us!? Something like 'Child free, will travel'. Then make our fortunes when we sign the international book deal - and then the film about the book.... oh I can dream.
Bernie xxx


----------



## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Thanks Flipper! 
It is so good to hear that you are finding so much to look forward to. Be happy! And please stay in touch! 
Jq xxx


----------



## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Congratulations, Flipper ... that doesn't sound right, but  you know what I mean - it's quite some anniversary, and you're right, it's funny for me to try to see into the future what it might be like

I'm having a quiet anniversary of my own this weekend - it would have been the edd for my second cycle embryos tomorrow.  Hohum you can't help but be aware of these things (at least not if you're a woman - I'm sure my dh has no idea, and frankly I don't really want him to - he's better off that way!).  For me this is quite a milestone to reach psychologically, and I know I'm in so much a better place than I ever imagined I would be by now, but still it's great to hear inspiring words from people like you who are that bit ahead of me on this journey!

Jx


----------



## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

Thanks for the replies ladies. On rereading this I've realised that it looks like some kind of farewell post but it's not really!  Pol, I hope you're not finding this weekend too difficult.  I'm delighted that generally you're in a better place than you thought likely though - I soooo know that feeling. 

flipper


----------



## solitaire (Mar 26, 2007)

Hi flipper,

Bit late to this, so it has already been said, but I just wanted to say what an inspirational post!

Everything you say is so true. I just realised that it is almost exactly 5 years since my op - the end of my hopes and dreams. Well, it was. But it was also the end of all the uncertainty, of always knowing exactly where I was in my cycle, examining every physical feeling for signs of pg followed swiftly by the dread of finding out I was having another m/c. It was the end of my life always being on hold, just in case ...

Just like you, it turned out to be the beginning of the new "me". So many opportunities are passed by or ignored when you are ttc - I found I was now able to embrace change and start to find out what I wanted to do with my life. Like many of you, I have been bitten by the travel bug and I can't wait until our next trip to Oz (amongst other places!).

To anyone who is in the early stages of this journey (not round the world, but into their new life), I would say this: don't expect it to happen quickly, or in a nice smooth way. There will be good days and bad, but one day you will realise that you are having more good times than bad, and you will realise that life can be beautiful and exciting, even if it wasn't what you originally planned.

I'm really pleased for you flipper - and I would like to echo your sentiments. We're all worthwhile in our own right.

What a great bunch you all are!  
Solitaire
xxx


----------

