# Any ideas for mending a broken heart? *



## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Hi

I found out yesterday that our first round of ICSI didn't work and I'm devastated. I'm 36, my husband is 34 and we've been trying for about 3 years. Husband has low quality sperm and I have poor quality eggs. On the highest dose of menopur, I only produced three eggs. Three fertilized, but only two developed so we ended up having two top grade embryos put back. However despite doing everything by the book, it didn't work.

I'm now terrified that I've had my only chance at having our own baby. I have rubbish eggs, and I've read that your first go at IVF often produces the most eggs. I've also got concerns because if my eggs are poor, doesn't that mean even if I do make it and manage to get that double line on the pregnancy test, that I have a higher risk of miscarriage?

If anyone can offer words of wisdom, please let me know. At the moment I feel really low.

Mrs S


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## A-D (Feb 8, 2006)

Honey
Just read your post and I remember feeling like that. You will feel like this for a while but it WILL get better with time and there are more options available to you. Just wanted to give you a big   and to let you know that FF is here for you and is great to offer you support through all of this.


x jamina x


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Welcome to FF Mrs S!

I am so sorry your ICSI didnt work.   I cant help you with regrads to any treatment as I am waiting to start ICSI next month. I just wanted send a hug. 

Although you said your eggs are not brilliant as least you can get top grade embryo's! Are you going to have any further ICSI? 
I wish you and your DH all the luck in the world.
love Natalie


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Hi Mrs S

So sorry it didnt work for you xx

I too have rubbish eggs...producing 6 first cycle (none put back, only one fert no division of embie) 2nd cycle cancelled half way through, 5 second cycle (2 fert and put back but mmc at 9.5w) and three (one really rubbish) this time...two put back and I am currently 18+3w pg with a singleton.

The only things I have done different this time personally is to up my protein and water intake during tx and also during pgy.  Noone has ever told me that I had a higher risk of mc with my egg quality etc.

There is hope out there honest, especially if you are getting top grade embies and 2/3 fert!!!

wishing you all the best


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Jamina said:


> Honey
> Just read your post and I remember feeling like that. You will feel like this for a while but it WILL get better with time and there are more options available to you. Just wanted to give you a big  and to let you know that FF is here for you and is great to offer you support through all of this.
> 
> 
> x jamina x


Thanks Jamina, very sweet of you x


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Skybreeze said:


> Welcome to FF Mrs S!
> 
> I am so sorry your ICSI didnt work.  I cant help you with regrads to any treatment as I am waiting to start ICSI next month. I just wanted send a hug.
> 
> ...


Hi Natalie

I don't know at the moment whether we're going to have another go, we're going back to our consultant next week to see what she recommends. Wishing you lots of luck with your treatment, hope it goes well x


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## Hayley1980 (May 13, 2007)

Hi Ya,

I can remember feeling like that too when our 1st ICSI failed, I just felt empty and numb but it did pass.   

On our first attempt I never produced any eggs and on a real high dosage, 2nd attempt and I over worked they changed my drugs from menopur to gonal f, but I still got a BFN after doing everything right.  The third time I completely chilled had my glass of wine, beefburger, chocolate if I wanted and got a BFP from a FET and I only had one embro put back in, I did drink a lot of pineapple juice and eat a lot of Brazil nuts apparently it help implantation, I'm nearly 18 weeks PG 

Even though you have had a neg result, you and hubby can fertilize eggs and you produce good grade embryos, don't give up just give yourself time to grieve. 

Hayley xxxxxxxxx


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Hi Hayley

I've not heard the pineapple juice tip before, very good to know that someone can come out the other side with a positive result. 

Thanks for the support xx


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Mrs S,

I am so sorry to hear that your treatment did not work.  I can't really help help with your questions, but want to wish you all the luck in the world for next time.

Emma
x x x x


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Thanks ladies

At the moment you're keeping me going.

LOL xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

so sorry to hear about your awful disappointment I can empathise with you, but as people said it does get better wiht time.  Have you had your follow up appt and dicussed options? What about stimming with a short protocl and drugs like Gonal F or Puregon?
L x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *Mrs S* and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of the problems you have been having to make a baby but you have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

I will leave you a couple of links to try out.

Negative cycle board...................http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=42.0

Male factors in infertility.................http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0

Girl and boy thread (fun area).........http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0

We also have a great chatroom (check the index for themed chats). It is often good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. Every Friday Night at varied times is NEWBIE NIGHT Miss TC, Dizzi squirrel or I will be in there to help you use the chatroom, answer any questions, etc. If you can't make it on Friday night, just send one of us a personal message and we will meet you in there at a prearranged time for a short "one2one" session to show you the ropes.

For more info on Newbie Night follow the link...http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Mrs S, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

So sorry to hear of your recent negative cycle.  
It's devastating when you get a negative, especially on your first go. Nobody can really prepare you for the way you will feel. I think it helps to remember what you are going through right now is a form of grieving so be kind to yourself and take time to recover emotionally

If you developed 2 top grade embryos then there can't be much wrong with the quality of your eggs! 2 out of 3 fertilisation is very good too. Your problem seems to be your response to stimulation (quantity not quality). There are quite a few tweaks that can be made to your protocol to ensure you respond better next time, besides upping your dose (changing the drugs, short protocol etc.) Even if you have a high FSH and low response on subsequent cycles then there are clinics out there that specialise in getting the best out of the worst responders and who won't give up on you all the while there's a chance of getting some eggs, no matter how few.
It is not true that the first go often produces the most eggs. Everyone is different and it can be the case for some but plenty of ladies produce more and better quality eggs on later cycles. The clinic learn a lot from your first cycle about how your body responds and this is why second and subsequent cycles often go smoother and the outcome is more favourable. I am sure there will be many ladies here who could tell you they produced more and better eggs on subsequent cycles - I did 9 on my first with mild OHSS (because I have PCO) then averaged 12 to 13 on subsequent cycles with no OHSS or any other problems (well until I got to test day but that's a whole other story  
In answer to your query about higher chance of miscarriage - that's a whole other story. I don't know if it works like that as there's so many factors to consider that affect your chance of miscarriage. Generally, it is considered that IVF pregnancies have a higher chance of miscarriage anyway but this is purely because we know we're pregnant long before many women would think to test. A normally fertile woman suffering an early m/c might be a few days or a week late for her period, think about doing a test then her period arrives (the miscarriage) and she might not even think twice about it. We know as soon as our period is due and, often sooner (especially us naughty girls who test early!) We have one major ace up our sleeves though - we get to have an early scan ans see a heartbeat long before naturally pregnant women routinely do! Once a heartbeat has been seen, the chances of m/c decline dramatically (this is mostly why they say they go decline at 12 weeks because this is usually the first time anyone gets to see their baby). 
I do understand your fear of m/c (I have suffered one myself on my second ICSI and it is not something I would wish upon anyone) but I think your have to put that out of your mind and try and remain positive that it *WILL* work and you *WILL* be a mummy. When you do get pg you will worry about it, quite possibly for the whole 9 months but, honestly, I think it better to try and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can.

Kate's left you some great links there but I am going to add to them too:

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

*ICSI Follow up Questions ~ *CLICK HERE

*What can improve egg quality and quantity ~ * 
CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the location boards. This is especially useful to find people from the same clinic as you to compare notes.

I hope you are feeling stronger soon and able to leap back on the rollercoaster when you're ready.

C~x


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Hi

It's time to get back on that emotional rollercoaster again. I'm actually pregnant! Having been told to test on day 14, followed by two of the worst days of my life, the clinic told me to test again on day 16 just to be sure. I was so sure it would be negative, (so were the hospital who said it was extremely unlikely to give a different result) I peed, got in the shower and got dried before I looked at it. But we got the two magic lines. I did a blood test and the hospital confirmed it. Still very early days, and my progresterone levels are low, but I got my BFP!

Thank you so much to all of you who have replied, reassured and given me advice.

This board is brilliant. 

Lots of love and luck, and sorry for the short term bad news!

Love Mrs S xx


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Hi Mrs S  Wow!

Heres hoping for a steadily rising progesterone level and a sticky bfp!!!!


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## Frangipan (Jun 4, 2006)

Mrs S,

I've been following your story and I'm so pleased for you! I am currently on day 2 of my 2 WW, on my first cycle of ICSI . I only produced 6 eggs, 5 of which were ICSI'd. Only 3 fertilised but the 2 they replaced were top grade. Its such a rollercoaster isn't it? I was disappointed with my paltry 6, especially when the girl in the next bed got 14 but everybody is right, it is the quality that matters.

I wish you all the luck in the world and I was so happy to read of your happy ending!! Have a happy and healthy nine months now.
Well done!

Lots of love

Angela xx


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Angela - I could hear the next cubicle woman crying about the number of follies she had and the nurse said "its not like you are in a dire position with one or two you know!"  and there was me in the next bed with 2 decent follies to be harvested....it really is quality after all.


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## Frangipan (Jun 4, 2006)

Dear EBW1969,

It can be quite offputting when you can hear whats going on next to you. That nurse was insensitive!  . I think maybe clinics should issue earplugs!

All the best

Angela x


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Yeah I thought it a little mean to say that with me just the other side of the curtain....!!

Wishing you all the best for the 2ww!!!  Hoping this is a sticky one!


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## miss hopeful (Aug 22, 2007)

Congratulations Mrs S!! From dispair to joy-how amazing! Have a fantastic 9 months!! miss Hopeful xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Oh congratulations Mrs S. Just goes to show how quickly the result can change in a couple of days....all you naughty early testers, beware! 

Have a happy and healthy 9 months.

C~x


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