# how do you commemorate/mark the end of trying to conceive?



## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi I'm new to posting on this board and am looking for ideas you may have about marking the end of ttc journey
My husband and I have travelled the long and heartbreaking path of trying to become pregnant, which as you can see from my info we have lost pregnancies.
Since our recent loss (and if I'm honest before we began our final IVF) we decided it would be our last.

I feel that I need to have a permanant memoriam for our journey as it is such a huge part of us and although is a sad chapter in our life it means alot to us.

I like tattoos, and already have a small star in memory of my dad so really want to get another one for this (not a massive one!) I plan to have 3 forget me nots to mark the 3 babies we've lost but I have struggled to find something symbolic to IVF and the decision to stop trying to have a biological baby.

Has anyone else got 'inked' to commemorate their journeys?


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## ANGELA29A (Jun 7, 2010)

Didnt want to read and not comment. 

Firstly im so sorry for your horrible jourey, life is so cruel, and really cant understand why so many of us are in the position....

I love your tattoo idea fan of tatts myself, have a butterfly on back, fairy on foot, and just had a snowdrop on wrist for my Dad . 

Think the forget me nots would be lovely.   Cant think of anything else to symolise IVF to an end.... 

Once we have finally decided enough is enough will be inking too, not sure what yet, and cant say enough is enough either, although last year we did, and at the moment find ourselves talking about it again....!!!

xxx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Hello - I hope you don't think me rude for posting here as still having a last try but we did do something before this cycle (our last) to mark our journey and the embies we've made and that fell asleep.

We sectioned off a small peice of our border in the back garden painted the fence a pale white with a beautiful silver windchime and five flickering solar powered bottle lights (one for each embie) we then pebbled the base with arctic white crystal pebbles and added a solar powered fairy to watch over it. Rather than something sad we both smile as we see the lights in the evening and it's really helped me put the past cycles behind us x


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## rosebud_05_99 (Apr 15, 2008)

Hi

I gott 3 stars tattooed on my ankle a few years ago in memory of my three miscarriages and lost angels, and last year had two lines of garth brooks song the dance tattooed on my back saying 'i could have missed the pain,bud I'd off had to miss the dance'
I felt it symbolised how even through the pain of IF my dh and i have had each others backs in this and lean on each other, however a huge blow happened to me this week when my surrogacy attempt in india with a 75% success rating resulted in another BFN so im getting a tattoo on my foot done this week saying STRENGTH with the infinity symbol around it as i want to symbolise what a strong woman i am to have come through so much hell and im still standing although a bit shakey this week,


Rose bud


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## Grons (Dec 27, 2008)

Guys to anyone wavering as to whether or not to call it quits PLEASE try the ARGC first, after 6 failed IVFs we have two gorgeous girls one from fresh cycle and one frosty from that cycle. They are top of the league table for a reason. Don't give up until you give them a try.


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi everyone

Thank you for your replies, I have been racking my brain for ideas as I want it to be perfect and beautiful; you have given me lots of food for thought and I really like the idea of something to symbolise strength as I'm sure that Ive become a much stronger person over the years (although don't always feel this way lol)

My husband and I are also planning a little memorial in the garden where we have a large white pot which we will plant a forget-me-not after burying one of our last scan photos in.

I hope you are all well and have enjoyed the sunshine (albeit brief)

I am certainly having a tattoo so will let you all know what I get!


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## rosebud_05_99 (Apr 15, 2008)

Hi 
I actually have a little pot of snowdrops as well ,it my safe place to look at and remember my wee lost angles.

I love my tattoos as the are so personal and i like the idea of having outward marks on my body of how i feel on the inside,

I would attach a pic here but not sure how
Any ideas

Rosebud


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## ANGELA29A (Jun 7, 2010)

Rosebud, I have a pot of snowdrops too, in rememberence of ivf cycles, and also recently have had a snowdrop tatooed on my wrist   in memory of ivf, and also was my Dads favourite flower, and he passed away last year, so double meaning for me.xx


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi everyone!

Snowdrops are lovely flowers & I agree that tattoos are a very personal way of expressing our inner most feelings.  

I'm not sure how to upload photos either, id like to find out as Id like to share a picture of what I have done (when I finally make a decision on what I want! lol)

Maybe someone posted similar question in the welcome board?


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

I was planning on getting a tattoo as well. It would have been my first. DH and I went to the Caribbean for Christmas and it was amazing. We went to a child free resort and it really showed us how much is out there and that life without children could still be pretty sweet. In any event, contrary bugger that life is, it had different plans for us in the end.

Whatever you decide, I think it is important to draw a line under it all and allow yourself to move on.


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## acewillows (Aug 30, 2013)

Hi! I really like the tattoo idea. I also have a small memorial tattoo. I think for ending IVF, maybe something less permanent? I get the idea, but you want to see it as closing a bookend and not like saying a goodbye, perhaps. I really like the idea of writing a letter to the child you wished you had. You tell them what you had hoped for, how much you wanted them, the struggles to conceive etc. After that, you bury it in the garden. Maybe even plant a tree with it and watch that grow. I think that's nice and symbolic.


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## tlw (Apr 2, 2013)

This is such a difficult place to be- and it is so hard,wanting to remember what we have lost, yet wanting to be able to move forward at the same time.  

Our dream is over after losing a twin DE pregnancy in April/May, and losing another DE pregnancy in August.  I have planted a Cherry tree for my twins- that will bear cherries every May, and an Apple tree to commemorate my last loss, that will give us fruit every August.

Now just trying to pick up the pieces of our lives and be grateful for what we have, and that we have each other.  Some things are just not meant to be I suppose- but my beautiful trees will be a reminder of the hope and life that we had for such a brief time.


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi, thought I'd update this as I had my tattoo today  

Thank you all for your ideas, I decided to go for the tattoo as my lost babies and ivf have been such a big part of my life and to a degree have shaped the person I am today. My forget me knots are beautiful and it feels so positive to have done it. I decided not to write to the birth child we'll never have as our baby is coming to us through adoption. We feel so different about the future now, I was wondering the other day what was wrong with me as I felt strange then I realised I'm happy!  
Getting the tattoo is just my way of moving on and closing that door, the new door is a bright colourful door and is open wide! 

Not sure if anyone will read this now as it's such an old post but I though I should let you know the decision I made

Thank you again to everyone who posted and I wish you all the best for the future


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## ANGELA29A (Jun 7, 2010)

congrtaulations on getting your tattoo, such a lovely idea, and good luck with your adoption journey. xx


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Thank you Angela29A, all the best to you too


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