# School has rang one of my girls is bullying



## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

HI 

The girls school has just rang and C is bullying one of the girls in her class, the little girl is very shy and a little bit behind the others. But the thing is that C and her are friends as well. C is being very sneaky about it and will deny taking things on her, C has been playing me up for some time now she is mean to her little sister most of the time, I have tried talking to her and using a reward chart and putting marbles in a jar when she is good. She seems to have the middle child syndrome. Has anyone had any experience of this and how we should handle I told my dh and of course he is really cross. The girls parents have been to the school to talk about it so dh wants to speak to C's teacher as well. Of course the girls have contact today and everything is going to mental when they get home. Dh thinks she shouldn' go to the Xmas party on Saturday but I am not so sure.  HELP PLEASE 

Thanks KEli


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Hiya

firstly big  to you as it is stressful as contact at the best of times hun

I would have put money on you saying that there was contact soon! As every foster child ( who is old enough to understand ) we have had has started really bad behaviour in the lead up to contact! 
I am by no mean an expert but often talking about the contact with them one to one (not sure how old she is? ) can sometimes help. Often they have fears about it that they just don't talk about and sometimes they just dont want to go! but feel they never can say it.
Maybe you could try saying that if behaviour improves then you wil do something one 2 one with her like go and do something girly with her? 
It might be worth talking to the teacher as often they dont understand looked after childrens backgrounds and why sometimes their behaviour is like it is at times. You might want to explain about contact etc and then the teachers can look out for trigger signs of bad bahaviour. 
Also maybe you need to make her aware of how the little girl she is bullying feels etc and maybe she wont feel like doing it anymore?

Sorry if this is no good, just wanted you to know I understand how hard it can be 

xxx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi Naoise,

sorry to hear about C. My youngest brother was part of a gang that bullied one boy for months a few years ago. i remmeber how ashamed and worried my mum felt at the time, so i feel for you. But as suzie says I'm sure she's just trying to cope withsomethign inside herself. It sounds like suzie has some good advice?? 

xxruthie


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi

I know exactllyhow youmust have been feeling when you got aht call.

Our DS has caused us a few hjeadaches over school issues, he has never been a bully BUT he has been in fights and on one occasion blacked a boys eye!

there is uasually a reason why they are doing this kind of thing...........with our DS he said this boy has said soemthing about him being adopted, our DS is 15 & still gets very angry when people say we are not his real parents......on this occaison the boy was looking for trouble, our DS told him to stop being wet and shut up....a samll fight broke out and hey presto this other boy came worse off!!

Love
Andrea
x


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