# New Member - had bad results today!



## Ka40 (Aug 7, 2012)

Hello
im new to this site. My friend has recommended it as she says its a lovely community and a chance to chat to others int he same situ.
I turned 40 in june and have been trying to conceive for 2 years. i did not want to wait until this age to start a family but I havent had the easiest of times. My first husband did the dirty and my 2nd died suddenly, 1 month after we got married. i now have an amazing partner who is just fantastic and i feel very lucky.

Weve been having tests under the consultant for the past few months. My chap has a low sperm count of 6 million and 33% swimmers. i have found out this morn that my egg reserve is only 1.6. I had an follicle tracking scan today that showed one follicle 19mm as ive taken clomid for the first time this month. We are gonna wait and see what happens this cycle and if no joy then will try ICXY? 

They have given us quite a poor sucess rate of 10-12% due to my age and all the other circumstances.

i just wanted some reassurance really and help to get my head back into a positive attitude to start treatment. Also to see if anyone has any other suggestions for improving our chances? ive heard accupuncture and reflexology aresupposed to help?

sorry to go on, hope someone is out there to help me?

Thanks Karen xx


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## mb2512cat (Sep 12, 2011)

I'm so sorry about your first and second husbands. That must have been very hard for you. 

I would say that you'll never know if you don't try, and even if the odds sounds low, you only need one and it can work. Are you financially ok to try IVF? It might be best to have a chat with your other half and see what you feel about the treatment and how many rounds you might be emotionally and financially prepared to try. At least you'll find out how your bits & pieces respond to the treatment, and after one round you may have a much better idea of where you stand. Just try to go to the most reputable place you can; i know it's hard and all the clinics will say they are brilliant, but try to do a bit of research (this IVF business  is a license to print money). I don't know if you're other half is willing to try things that might improve his count/quality (my DH has similar issues) but first make sure he doesn't have any other underlying health issues or is taking medication that could be causing problems, and a diet supplemented  in zinc and selenium (basically nuts & seeds) has some evidence that it can help men's fertility.

I hope that's some good advice to at least start with.

Take care


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## Ka40 (Aug 7, 2012)

thank you so much, that helps alot.  my partner is on those supplements at the mo.  he has type 2 diabetes, sleep apneoa and asthma, but none of which my consultant is concerned with the actual conception!  

Luckily, financially because of the passing of my last husband, we ar ein a good position which is a huge relief and a great way to spend his well earned money!  Emotionally, im A WRECK ALREADY!! but have been through worse so think im strong enough to get through this.  My partner is coming around to the idea, though is really worried about me and the thought of having a baby that may not be healthy!

Its all soooooo difficult isnt it.  I keep thinking maybe it would be easier to adopt and give a poor neglected child a home?  But im not one for giving up hope! I do get frustrated at the mo when i see people treating children unkind or parents that really shouldnt be parents wandering around with multiple children (ive have had first hand experience with this), so feel i can comment!!

anyway, im struggling on and as a couple we are very strong, so hopefully we will succeed in this long emotional journey.

its lovely to be able to come on here and waffle and get it off my chest!

Thank you xxxxx


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## DippyHippy (Apr 27, 2012)

Hi KA40

Welcome to FF, I hope you'll find some comfort in knowing that others can understand how you feel at times.  Sorry to hear about your husbands, you have certainly been through a lot!

My situation differs from yours and I'm a bit younger too but I didn't want to read and run, and wanted to pass on my best wishes and good luck wishes to you.  Me and DH have had a horrible year with fertility tests and consultations, and are now on the waiting list for IVF.  I don't know how I would have coped so far, if I hadn't been able to log on to FF and be reassured that how I was feeling was perfectly normal given the circumstances!  I've felt very low and sad at many different stages throughout our journey so far, but am feeling more optimistic about the future now.  Like you, I've thought about adoption but don't think I would feel comfortable with that until I had exhausted our fertility journey.  It's a personal choice of course, and as the process takes such a long time perhaps you could start looking into it if you were on waiting lists and things, as some of them are so long for tx on the NHS!!  

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the very best, and good luck with your journey  xxxxxxx


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## Rock-a-Hula (Feb 29, 2012)

Hi Just wanted to say hello and welcome.  The ladies on this site are just amazing.  You will find so much support and encouragement.  I wish you all the best with your treatment.


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## Rock-a-Hula (Feb 29, 2012)

I forgot to say I've just been told to try acupuncture by my new clinic, so worth looking in to
xx


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