# adoption



## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

i have decided to look into other options as iui, ivf, clomid blah blah blah have all failed me.

so i'm wondering about adoption. i've looked up and read some stuff today and have scared myself a bit. I can't find that many NI agencies either (either the board or one called adoption route, i think they're a church of ireland ran one).

have any of you applied, been successful? unsuccessful?

how long does it (really)take?

we've had some dealings with social services in the past (poor dh has an evil ex) and to be honest we always came out the worst for it so i don't know about dealing with them at all. And i've heard somewhere that the evil ex (aka ff...don't ask   ) would be interviewed and involved some way too?! Is that true?

any help, words of wisdom muchly appreciated


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## esseylyle (Jun 20, 2010)

Hi Emma,just thought I would say hello have you considered egg donation.
It's not an easy choice but maybe it would be an alternative to adoption.
I am having egg donation at the moment as I am too old to adopt.
if you need any information just ask. I really hope things work out for you. X


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## walsh1363 (Feb 23, 2008)

Hi Emma myself and hubby also looked at adoption we contacted our local social services and had a meeting with her and we were told that my dd dad would be contacted e even though I had a very bad time with him and we were more likely get an older child as under 4 is unlikely to come up but if you go for duel approval fostering and adoption then you can foster a younger child that may come free for adoption but it's a chance


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## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

Hi essey   , its the cost of more treatment for us. we just can't afford it and we've been on this treatment merry-go-round for years and we're thinking of jumping off.

hi walsh   , i thought that she'd probably be told, i can't understand why though. i'll ask about fostering too then.

i rang them up this afternoon so hopefully someone will ring me back tomorrow.


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

Wee emm

Did you try your local health trust? I knwo the south eastern had been looking for people to adopt. I know a girl who works with me had to go to England and she got an 11 mth old child and there was another girl who got a wee girl a month ago and she is only 10months

Jillyhen


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## Ladyhex (Sep 6, 2008)

Emma 

jillyhen is so right about the local trusts...my trust area is also the south eastern and they are crying out for froster parents. Most of the time it is long term with the out come of adoption  

Adoption is hard as i know first hand from my granny.  Now that is a different story that went badly wrong.  

LX


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## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

it went badly wrong? oh you're scary lx    

i've got two packs through, one from the south eastern and one from adoption routes but i havent read them yet.

when she went to england jilly, did she go to an english agency?


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

I can honestly remember Em i would say she probably did, do you want me to  ask her when i see her?

My husband is adopted and although he knows where he was born he has no inclination to find out who his birth mum is. As faw as he is aware his parents are his adopted mum and dad.


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## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

could you ask her? i'm trying to find out as much as i can before we actually do anything.

my stepmum is adopted too, she was found by her brother and sister but she wasnt that interested in her mum and i don't think they were either. She had had her and walked out of the hospital leaving the 3 of them behind. She probably had PND but sure in those days they wouldn't have recognised it.


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

Of course,, will give her a buzz n see, try all the other health boards in northern ireland. 

I think my hubby was given up straight from birth prob to a young mun. I would love to know what she is like to see if there is any probs health wise etc but he dosent care.

Jillyhen x


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## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

thanks jilly.

a girl i work with, her mum is adopted and only went to find out about her birth parents for health reasons because she was having heart problems and wanted to see if it would lead to anything and discovered that both her birth mum and her granny died in their 30's. so maybe it would be worth his while to have a look.


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

Thats why i woudl love him to find out.. Will see mayeb if i get pregnant it will maybe persuade him.


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## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

have you heard anything about when your tx could be?


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

When i emailled the rfc they told us we should receive our letter in nov and start treatment in january.

I spoke to my workmate who adopted the girls 1 from Bulgaria and the other from England.She told me to tell you to go to your local health trust and you have to be approved by them and you also have to attend a training course then have home visits. Once you get approved you speak to your social worker and then start looking for a child. Also try some of the agencies as well.

Hope this helps

Jillyhen xx


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## wee emma (Nov 15, 2007)

thanks jilly   

good luck with your tx, thats exactly when i heard and started too.


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## Jillyhen (Dec 17, 2009)

Hi Girls

Did anyone see the programme on about adoption last nite?


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