# Severe learning difficulty - REALLY??



## DiDi2012 (Mar 16, 2012)

Hi all, please help!
We had our link meeting last week, with the MP end of February.
We're looking at two siblings, boy of just over two, and little girl almost 1.
DS-to-be has now been diagnosed as having severe learning difficulties, but when I look through the reports/observations, I keep thinking: but he's a boy and he's two... is it really bad to love wheels/spinning things? Is it really a sign of severe learning disability to not know what to do with a jigsaw, but to rather throw with the pieces? (with help he can now do them...)

We saw the dvd, and what we saw was this: a very happy, cheerful little boy who makes good eye contact, but who only gets spoken to when needed: he tried to get his little sister's yoghurt: no explanation given, just no, no no till even I felt like stamping my feet!!
When they went to feed him his yoghurt, they didn't really ask him to sit, but just said : sit, with the makaton sign till he finally sat down... again no chatting to him, just good boy, well done, till even I felt like yelling!!

He is a nursery 5 days a week: whole day Monday, and 8-12 the other days... Personally I feel it's more attachment (who is there to attach to...)

Please please can you help me here?? I really don't know what to think, my SW seems to agree with me that some of it seems to be lack of personal, quiet attention...?


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi
I can only speak from my experience but thought it may help.....

Both my children were considered to be delayed, DS in speech and DD in many ways.  DS was 27 months when he came home and had about 10 single words, within 3 weeks he was putting 3 and 4 words together and hasn't looked back on his talking.  He wasn't spoken to in FC, no stories read to him, no songs, puzzles - nothing at all stimulating.  

My DD was 14 months when she came home with lots of medical uncertainties which weren't there but the FC wanted to keep her and tried to make her unadoptable.  Again, though she was loved, there was no stimulation.  All the toys were press a button and leave her to it, no basic stacking cup type things, nothing that needed any interaction.  She made no noise, never even cried when hungry but we found out she never had chance to feel hungry as she was constantly eating poor food.  She flourished very quickly when we got her home and is a bright, chatty little girl full of mischief!  The SWs and IRO couldn't believe the difference in her in just 4 weeks.  

My children came from LAs 200 miles apart.  IN our experience both FCs gave basic care, nothing more.

Look at the birth family history - is there learning difficulties within that?  If there is then there is a chance of LOs having some problems as well.  
I find it hard to see how they can give such a diagnosis at such a young age.  There must be something in the birth family history to give them concerns enough to assess at this age though they should also know that children need permanency to flourish and really show what they are capable of.  It may not be the actual action that he is doing but the repeatitiveness of it, though at this age things are repeated constantly, its how children learn.  

Who instigated the assessment?  SS, FC or nursery?
Thats a lot of nursery time for such a LO.  I agree he won't have very good attachments to FC and his behaviour is no doubt partly as a result of this.

You need to have all the medical records available, a meeting with the medical advisor and any other professionals involved, ie nursery etc.  The more information and the more people who know him well that you can talk to and get a real idea of how he is the better.  Find out the worst case senarios and work out whether you could cope with that.  It is better to be prepared for the worst and then anything better is a bonus.  

IF you feel you can't cope with the worse case senario don't feel guilty for being honest about it and not proceeding with these children, they will find the right family and so will you.

Good luck
OT x


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## DiDi2012 (Mar 16, 2012)

Thank you! Yes, we should have life appreciation days, so I'm going to collect a stack of questions. I was just shocked by the 'severe' bit. I mean, to me that is a non-communicating child rocking in a corner... 

Your perspectives helped a lot actually, I will start looking through things, and looking for the right buttons to press


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## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

Hi
I am a special needs teacher  and I work with older children ranging from 'PMLD (profound, multiple learning difficulties) sld (severe) and mld (moderate). At such a young age, it is very difficult to know how a child will progress. My Sld children tend to be verbal and around national curriculum level 1/ 2 (equiv of typical children in year 1, 2, 3).
Please PM me if you want any more info from an educational perspective.
Young children have  very 'plastic' brains and need as much stimulus as possible at this stage of development.
Hope this is helpful x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hiya

My dd has a risk of having a learning difficulty due to her background.  We were warned that she had little speech, late walker, didn't grasp properly. But, in FC her care was very basic and her needs only just met (in my opinion).  I think alot of professionals tend to over-do-it on the checks and tick not necessary boxes to cover their own backs.  For our dd she is a completely 'normal' 2 year old.  She now talks for england, runs like a loon but has been diagnosed with Hypermobility (double jointed) hence the grasping and walking problems.  Her brain development is as it should be.

But, no one can predict a childs future, a 2 year old that is meeting all their milestones now can have a learning difficulty later down the line.

Neither of my children like puzzles, my 5 year old STILL doesn't get it, however, he can play chess and is above average in his class. 

If, having a child with a learning need is something you would struggle with, then yes ask yourself if you're the right parent for this lo.  I have a feeling you have fallen for these littlies though   

If I was you, I would ask to speak to the medical advisor who knows this littlie and the person who diagnosed the LD, or at least read the reports.  I am struggling to think of why they would need to label a child at such a young age, what is he doing so wrong?  What do his nursery have to say?  Seeing as he is there more than at fc's    

Let us know how you get on, best of luck x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi,

I read your post with interest and the replies as well.
We adopted 2 LOs, they were just over 2 and just over 1 years old when they came home to us. They were NOT diagnosed with learning disability or delay, but it was pointed out to us repeatedly that there were many, many unknowns in their history and things might crop u in future. They had good foster care (about 6 months) and started to show good development. They are so far making very good progress here, but i cannot stop worrying and i can only say that taking on two young children is a challenge in itself. So be positive, but honest with yourself, I think your question points the way, you want to take these two into your life, but you are worried. Well, you will be worried for the next 20 years, so the question is maybe: can you cope with more than the 'normal' worries ? And I agree, the question whehter the two chidlren were accurately assessed is probably best discussed with the medical adviser and the childrens' social worker.
Hope this helps a little!

Best of luck,

Anne


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi DiDi,
How did your life appreciation day go? Did you find out more about the Los and why SW was being quite alarmist?
X x


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## DiDi2012 (Mar 16, 2012)

We haven't had the Life Appreciation day yet...everything has grinded to a halt over Christmas... and I'm learning what it is to be Extremely Patient with BIG capitals  groan...

Still looking through the papers (have sort of memorised the nursery reports, lol ), Still wondering and still confused and a bit at a loss to understand the 'diagnosis' from the nursery...  So keep throwing your thoughts and ideas at me, lol, it really helps!!


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Aww DiDi, hope u had a lovely Xmas and with New Year to look forward to the appreciation day and get some answers x


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