# How did you feel when you met LO for first time?



## Nieta (May 7, 2015)

We're linked with a 2-year-old pink with matching panel and intros scheduled in August. Our LA likes adopters to meet their linked LO early on to make sure you're 100% on board with this child. We met ours today and she was just like we thought she'd be, plus very well behaved and so pretty. However...I feel kind of stunned, overwhelmed and very disconnected now. I know she's the one for us, but seem to have shut down completely on an emotional level. I didn't expect to fall in love (thanks to this forum I was realistic about that) but didn't think I'd feel quite this shut off afterwards. Have you experienced this? Am I normal??


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

I think when you meet for the 1st time it's such a surreal experience, we never met either of our 2 before intros, but I should imagine that if must be even more of a surreal experience, meeting once then knowing that it's an age until you are going to meet them again.


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## Darcy2012 (Jul 16, 2014)

Hi 
We met out little ones for the first time on Monday and pick them up tomorrow to bring them home for good! I understand the feeling of it all being surreal, when we first met them on Monday I was excited and loved seeing them, playing with them etc and thought  they were amazing but on leaving I felt a bit detached afterwards, strange feeling ! However as the days have gone on and we have been taking  them out, bathing them etc and the little pink calls after me mama when I leave a room it is the best feeling!

I think it's natural to feel how you are particularly when you still have a bit of time until intros. I think the love definitely grows as opposed to being instant. Hope I gave t rambled too much just wanted to sat think whst you're feeling is completely normal!

Good luck !


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## dandlebean (Feb 24, 2013)

We met ours prior to intros too and I felt a bit strange afterwards, completely disconnected and not nearly as excited as I'd expected to be. To be honest, I wasn't sure I even liked them, but DH was so excited and I figured I just felt odd because I'd expected to feel 'more' somehow. 

It is very odd, because you know they're going to be your future children, yet they're complete strangers and there's no connection at that point. 

Even during intros, I was confused because I wasn't 'feeling' anything towards them. But my two have been home a year now and the love, bond and attachments grow everyday. We're at the point now where they really feel like ours and there's a very strong and real connection/bond - but it definitely didn't happen overnight for us.


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Totally normal - there are no rules on how you should feel.
We never met our little wreck-it Ralph before intros, however, I cried and was a total pain in the ar&e during the process, I was all over. Perhaps I had used all of my emotions up, but theday of intros came andon the drive to the fc home it was just like we were off to do the big grocery shop. The day went well, and then we just went out for tea on our own and I think we mainly discussed what we were gonna have for tea the next night lol.
It wasn't till we got home and family life really began that the emotions kicked in, I look at her little face and cry with delight I just can't believe she is mine.

Don't beat yourself up, you're doing fine 👍🏻


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## ChocolateCake (May 7, 2015)

Hi Nieta, hi everyone  

We have only known about our match for 5 weeks and it definitely takes more than that to really sink in. I think we go numb when its too much, it gradually seeps in over time. afterall, its hugh isn't it. I'm excited as we have matching panel next week but it is scary as never done this before. really looking forward to having our LO at long long last. All the family are so excited. I see quite a few of you are recently matched. hows it going?

PS. Can I ask for a reminder of questions at matching panel. One we have been told we will be asked, is, "why this child" - I can remember other questions our sw said as was so much to take in when they came to visit.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

We met our beautiful baby boy 4 days before he moved in. It was exactly as you describe detached. He's been home almost 6 months now and I love and adore him and can't believe how incredibly lucky we are but even now I still often don't really feel like his mummy. Whether that's because I've subconciously held something back until the adoption order goes through, or because we still have frequent visits from sw's so it still feels like they're checking on "their" child or whether it's because we get post addressed to him in his birth name so it's a constant reminder he doesn't share our surname etc. I think it's probably a combination of all of the above and perhaps the fact he's pre verbal so doesn't say "mummy" yet. Either way I couldn't love him more than I do now I just have to trust that one day it will feel "normal".


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

I found it came much more naturally, post AO, Becs.  Not that he didn't settle well, but I felt like no one was second guessing us.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Yes I think you're right BG, once all his mail starts coming to us with family name and no "check up" visits I think it will become normal. I think also by that stage he may be saying mummy lol as does now say dada! 😊


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Becs it's still early days...I felt the same as you for ds1 but then when ds2 I instantly felt like his mummy maybe because I was already a mummy? 

Just need that AO to make it official!! X


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## weemoofrazz (Sep 6, 2013)

Hi Nieta

I met our youngest a few weeks before intro's started, unplanned! I work in healthcare and his FC had him in at the hospital for an appointment, he was 2 and half at the time. He never knew who I was at that point as no prep work had been started by FC, I was just the nice lady who helped them find the department they were looking for. I have to be honest and admit that I was totally smitten after seeing him, I was excited beyond belief and couldn't get over how much he actually looked like DH and I. This meant that upon seeing him for the first time at introductions I was even more besotted! He bonded really very quickly with DH and I right from day one.

In comparison, first time seeing his older sibling left both DH and I with mixed feelings. He was 6 years old at the time of introductions. The next few days of introductions with our elder boy left us feeling very disconnected, disillusioned and anxious!

Dandlebean summed it up so well


> It is very odd, because you know they're going to be your future children, yet they're complete strangers and there's no connection at that point.


. That's how it felt with our older boy.


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