# First try at IVF at 43..where do I start?



## Starry.Sky (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi all


I had a natural bfp in July this year after 8yrs ttc naturally but I mc on 4th sept at 11 wks. Devastated doesn't remotely explain how it feels to fail at what is probably my last chance at pg as I was 43 the week after the mc. Anyway we have decided to put off moving house to provide some funds to try IVF. We want to make sure we get all the appropriate fertility tests (last tests in 2006 showed dh has swimmer issues, I'm expecting I will have more than my age against me by now) we also want to get good value for money with IVF which will probably involve going abroad but I quite honestly don't know where to start my mind is boggled already and I've only been looking for 2 weeks. I do and I don't want to rush into things - Im sure that will make sense to someone out there    


Is it a good idea to get fertility tests in this country - or should I pick a clinic abroad for the ivf and get tests there?


If I switch clinics do I have to go through testing again?


Any good experiences at clinics abroad at my ripe old age? I'll try DE too - I've managed to get my head around that now. 


Thanks ladies


BB x


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## chooshoos (Dec 18, 2014)

Hello! 
It's a rough old road isn't it....Sorry to read what you've been through. 

I would say go for tests here, from personal experience I didn't think there would be anything other than being over the hill for us but when we went for consultation at our IVF clinic abroad they found some immune issues, so I then had to come back find a local doc and run the tests again for a diagnosis. Our IVF clinic accepted the treatment etc and didn't want to run theirs again but it did stall things. 

Chances are you are right as rain, sods law even isn't it you go thru all that and it's all OK!  

My only advice would be plan for at least 3 cycles (many clinics do a package) and keep donor eggs as an option 

Good luck !
X


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## Victoria38 (Apr 17, 2015)

Hi Birdbrain,

So sorry to read about your heartbreaking mc and many years trying   I think IVF all comes down to fiances and how much you want and have to spend. I know Czech Republic have the lowest prices when it come to IVF so it might be an idea for you to post on that board and make enquires about OEIVF over 40. I know the success rates would be drastically lower as opposed to using DE and I don't think they do IVF over the age of 43 in UK. Good idea to have a fertility MOT and take it from there.

I myself have also put moving house on hold with IVF treatment coming up. I did give IVF a go with my eggs when I was about to turn 41 but I didn't make it to egg collection due to me having very low reserves so I decided to move to DE. I just got so fed up of the disappointment each month I was trying not to meantion my repeated mcs, moving to DE now gives me a real chance of a healthy baby. I personally wouldn't throw my money at low success rates but thats just my opinion and I don't have endless funds. Sorry I dont have answers to all your questions.

Goodluck with whatever you decide Xx


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

Hi BB 
Have you looked at Tandem Cycles?  This is when you go through IVF with a donor back up running along at the same time.  This way you would always get to ET.  You can have your embryos screened using PGS and if there are some good ones they can go back in if not you would have the donor back up embryos.  You can even have a mixture of your own embryos and donor embryos put back in.  I know places in Greece and Northern Cyprus do Tandem cycles.  I understand some of the Greek clinics do a fast screening process CGH (think Newlife, Embryogenesis and Embryoland?) which means you can have fresh embryos put back instead of freezing and returning later.  Have a look at the international boards to get a feel for which clinic might suit you.
Good luck 
TCCx


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## deblovescats (Jun 23, 2012)

Sorry you're having a tough time. 
Just a thought, don't automatically rule out UK clinics. You need to research clinics here and abroad. There is an assumption that abroad is always cheaper and it can be, but you need to find a clinic to suit you. You also have to factor in the exchange rate, travel costs and accommodation. Also how success rates are calculated can be different abroad to UK, so it can look as if they have higher success rates, but not necessarily so.
You need to decide how important the OE is. Some women need to give it a go before moving to DE, for others it's not as important. 
I went straight to DE in UK due to my age, 45 when I started treatment as a single woman. I went to UK for ease of travel and I reasoned it wasn't necessarily a lot more expensive. I wanted to maximise my chances of a baby, so was ok with DE. First two attempts at one clinic failed, but when I changed to another UK clinic with DD, got my BFP and now have a gorgeous 14 month old son. I'm planning on trying for a sibling in November with frosties.
Good luck with your decision.
Deb


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## Highland (Jun 17, 2013)

Hi, my heart goes out to you with your m/C. It's hard to think straight. I wonder if this might help re IVF. I spent ages looking at clinics UK and overseas. Some do free initial consultation, ( Skype) which can give you a good feel. Spain is v b with IVF so will have a lot of experience, expertise - just from the pure volume of procedures they do, but by the same token that can feel impersonal. For me, I liked serum in greece v much, also a couple in Czech republic - reprofit, and gennet for eg. But ultimately I went for a UK clinic as it became apparent to me that my eggs were knackered ( I had an ovarian scan and AMH test ata UK clinic) which led me to think donor egg is the only way forward for me. The donor conception network was v helpful once wed come to that decision. You'll see from my profile I conceived naturally at 42 so I don't think 43 is time to give up yet, but I did have a lot of acupuncture and herbal medicine. If you are in England a man called Michael macintyre ( not the comedian) is respected in this field,  but i understand its not to everyone's taste. Best of luck - hope drives us all on.


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## Caan (May 24, 2010)

All good advice, some clinics do OE upto 45 in UK, I had two OE cycles at 42/43, could have carried on, good embryo results but BFN and clinic would have supported me, CARE UK. Moved to DE in UK.

Sorry to read you had MC and good luck with your future plans!! Cx


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## Caan (May 24, 2010)

PS if you do decide to go down the DE route, time will be on your side, me and DH gave ourselves time out before DE cycles. if you try OE, don't leave it too long, if you get tests done some take many weeks for results to come through, so look at timelines when making plansxxx


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## Starry.Sky (Feb 8, 2006)

Thank you everyone you have been very helpful. I don't feel so alone and stupid for trying so late now. We have decided to get all the tests done private;y in this country and go to CR for a couple of attempts at OE and then donor embryo. We have decided initially to give it 3 'goes' of each and see how we - and the bank balance  - feel afterwards. We have contacted a clinic and are going for a consultation in February (I really need some time to lose weight and get back into a healthy BMI range - that's my first hurdle).

Once again thank you

BBx


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## Victoria38 (Apr 17, 2015)

Good to hear you have a plan in place and your certainly not silly trying for a baby at your age, so many of us ladies are over 40. At the end of the day we have science so why not use it  You go for it and best of luck with your tests. I'm doing weight watchers at the moment, they have a great plan for weight loss. 

P.S Probably best not to delay having a fertility MOT due to the rapid decline of egg reserves and quality x


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## Caan (May 24, 2010)

Hi again, tell me to mind my own business, but leaving it till februeary with OE may not be the best move, because you will not necassirly start straight away. 

Have you had your AMH tested? Id get that done ASAP as a good base line, i paid private  my GP didn't  do it.

All the very best, Cx


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## Rosalind73 (Apr 25, 2012)

Hi, sorry to butt in as well, but I second what Caan says. Even if you did start straight away in February, that's still 5 months away, which is an awfully long time in terms of your reproductive life. I don't want to scare you, but your fertility really does decline rapidly after the age of 40, and drops off a cliff as you get towards 45 (as I'm sure you know).

Good idea to get your AMH tested, but I'd worry more about age-related egg quality. There are examples of people getting pregnant with their own eggs aged 43, but you need to do it yesterday!

I really wish you the best of luck and sorry to hear about your miscarriages.


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

My advice would be to go to the fertility show in London if you can, I think it's in October. I'm 43 and had a cycle with OE at an NHS hospital which ended in mc. We decided to go abroad and go straight for DE but I didn't know where to start.  I visited the fertility show and found it great as many of the major clincs were there from home and abroad. I went to a couple of seminars which were useful too. I came away having chosen a completely different clinic to the one I thought I'd wanted but also with lots more info. You have to be careful of th hare but it's good to see the reps/ doctors face to face. 

Good luck, Lisa


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

Sorry I mean you have to be careful of the hard sell. But many clinics do offer a discount or free testing if you sign up there and then. I didn't go for that but I know mnay who have


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## Starry.Sky (Feb 8, 2006)

Thanks for the advice. Sadly Feb is the first chance we have of  going anywhere for ivf...no annual leave left, and thats the next school hols we could both squeeze a couple of sick days into and as my son  is autistic we cant leave him behind and we cant do anything last minute. Maybe it isnt a good idea to throw away money if I'll be too old if I wait until then. Prob need a rethink. My cycle hasnt returned to normal yet after the mc and gp says it could take months. Sounds like the end of the road for us. Utterly miserable.


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## Caan (May 24, 2010)

Hey, didn't mean to upset you!!  

You mentioned DE, is this still a maybe for you? You have been through so much, you do need to give your self time to recover physically and emotionally. maybe ask on other forums about tests here in Uk and abroad and how you can match them with the clinic you choose.

If you do go down the route of DE, time is on your side. Also, we used the CARE group in the Uk, if you want any information about them just ask.

I wish you all the best!! feel free to ask any questions about my OE/DE experience, it can be a very lonely confusing road at times!!xxxx


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## bundles (Jul 16, 2011)

Hi Birdbrain   you're a spring chicken compared to me   with DE you will have no problem. I went to Procreatec in Madrid which is a small family feel clinic but with all the latest technology. I also moderate the Czech boards and they do get some great results, plus are cheaper. The fertility show is a great idea  
Good luck  
Xx


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## Rosalind73 (Apr 25, 2012)

And you never know with your own eggs in 6 months' time. I don't think any of us are saying don't give it a go - especially if you feel you need to have one last try - but just that ideally it's better not to leave it any longer.
But if you can't do anything sooner, you can't. And that doesn't mean it absolutely won't work for you.

Re your cycle not returning to normal - I don't think that matters so much for IVF as your hormones are being artificially manipulated anyway. But of course you do need time emotionally to recover.

And the ladies are completely right about DE - no hurry at all on that front.

Good luck


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## TimeBomb (Sep 29, 2015)

I'm so sorry to hear about your mc last month -- please be gentle with yourself emotionally, these things can hit a lot harder than people think. I miscarried in April of this year and a big part of me is still grieving.

I'm the same age as you, and I've decided this month to move on from my own eggs and go with DE. The decision has taken a lot of stress and worry away because I'm no longer worrying about my age and grabbing one last healthy egg. I'm not any means saying that you should do the same, but having that option waiting in the background is a very good safety net.

How about in February you try a cycle with your own eggs and get PGD done before you transfer any back? That will give you a realistic idea of your chances and will help you make your plans from there. Plus you might find that your overies are functioning perfectly well.

Best of luck -- don't count yourself out yet!


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## Starry.Sky (Feb 8, 2006)

Hi ladies,

Long and short of the situation is that my chosen clinic have advised me to wait.

I have to wait until my 2nd period after mc for bood test and for the transvaginal ultrasound so that will be November. So the earliest I can start meds for IVF will be December which means it will be start of February before egg collection (if there are any eggs). The dh's GP thinks we are crazy going for IVF as I got caught naturally in July - he thinks its a good idea to keep trying naturally. I will reserve any judgement on that until I see my hormone profile. I will then take advice from the clinic about using my own or donor eggs. 

Not giving up yet - I need to know I did everything that I could before I close shop, move on and become 'the crazy dog lady' in my area 

Thanks BBX


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## solo1972 (May 19, 2015)

hi I have just started reading this thread as also new to ivf and I just want to say how reassuring it is to hear so many positive outcomes from both OE and DE. I am based in London and hoping to start ivf soon. so reading all your advice has been a good start.


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## Pippi_elk (Feb 7, 2013)

I had OE IVF at age 43.5 and now have a beautiful baby girl. However I had good AMH and got 4 good embryos. Fresh transfer of 3 was a chemical preg but the last FET worked. But after our consultation with consultant after the failed fresh cycle & before FET he said our chances of conceiving naturally were probably as good as via IVF. (About 5%) so I kinda do agree with your GP. However we had been trying for 3 years and had one mc but not a hint of bfp otherwise. I think IVF might increase your odds slightly as you potentially get a years worth of eggs in one go. 

We had decided not to do another cycle and the consultant though that was a good idea. 
You need to do what you think you feel is right for you and not have any regrets in 10 years time. For us while the odds were against us at least even if the IVF had failed I felt we had given it our best shot. 
I'm all for FET....you hear of so many people where the fresh transfer fails but a FET works....whether it's just the luck of the draw or does having the transfer on more normal cycle improve the odds ?

Good luck whatever you decide.


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## Starry.Sky (Feb 8, 2006)

Thanks for sharing your positive story pippi_elk thats just what I needed. My sister has just announced her pregnancy with a due date the same as the baby I lost 5 weeks ago. I'm feeling really low and need to cling to positives right now


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## Poppy41London (Apr 8, 2015)

Hi so sorry to hear about your loss. I just wondered if you have sought any treatment to help your hubbie improve his results and therefore improve your overall chances, as I see he has some sperm issues. The consultant Mr Jonathan Ramsay (London and Windsor) is amazing and has helped so many couples improve mens sperm count, motility, morphology etc - mine included. So if you are waiting until Feb before you go for treatment maybe it would be worth considering seeing him or someone like him to see if you can improve hubbies results as well? Just a thought. I may be going for IVF for the first time myself early next year and am about to turn 42. Have to get BMI down and still a bit away from where it needs to be... I totally understand how hard it all can be and how overwhelming when you feel like time is running out. But try to stay positive, you don't know what you are dealing with yet and you got pregnant once so may well do again naturally before Feb. X


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## yoyobella (Oct 13, 2012)

Dear BB,

just a quick note.....

I don't know how close you are to London, but coming up in early November is the Fertility show:

http://www.fertilityshow.co.uk/?gclid=CIbQ_eHXvMgCFSnkwgodNU8EXg

Like you, we started trying for a baby "late". We attended the show and found it to be really really helpful. So much in one spot! We were able to meet doctors from many different clinics and to hear presentations on many subjects relevant to us. We were able to discuss our options, and get a feel for the different clinics. It helped us to decide who we would go with. And from the talks, we were able to find out more about what we could do in terms of diet and supplements, etc that would better our chances.
I would highly recommend attending if you are able. The whole fertility journey is so difficult and one of the hardest aspects is researching on your own and the uncertainty of it all. The show was the best research tool we ever had. So many experts in one place that we were able to speak to one on one.

Good luck on your journey and know that we are all here for you!

yo x

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## New to this (Jun 30, 2015)

Does anyone know of any London clinics that do tandem cycling?


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