# 1 year and struggling



## farmingwife (Jan 19, 2016)

Hi Newbie here.
Im 25 hubby is 27.  We have been ttc for a year exactly now 
Had the doctors appointment today to see what could be done for us.  Went through the usual questions which i expected.  He has sent for me to have bloods done on 21st day of cycle wich happens to be Friday so not to long to wait.  Bloods are for the usual and for lots of hormone testing etc.  He looked up how long in our area to wait to be referred...2 years...i was a bit shocked at this as i had it in my head that it was a year.  Now i am very anxious about the blood results and the fact that we may have to wait another year for proper help.  I have really struggled the last 3 months with 5 close friends being pregnant.  And im worried that i may mentally not be able to cope for another year.  I dont know what iwas expecting from the doctors but i have come away feeling helpless.
Any advice please
Sorry just re read and its a very long message


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## Hayley91 (Mar 17, 2015)

Hi Farmingwife, 

I think in most places they will do the routine tests after 1 year but dont refer you for IVF until you have been TTC for 2 years, unless you are over a certain age or they identify an issue that means you cannot concieve without help. 

I went to see my GP after 8 months and got the bloods done as my partner is a lot older than me, and then after 1 year he referred me to another gp with a specialist interest in fertility. She sent me for a scan (HSG) which picked up some issues with my tubes but they still werent going to do anything until i had reached the 2 year mark. I work in a hospital with consultants so was able to seek some advice and asked my GP to refer me to a gynae consultant. She then tried me on Clomid for 6 months, which took me up to 2 years TTC and because it didnt work she then referred me to our nearest IVF centre. 

It is a really tough journey to be on, particularly when everyone around you is pregnant or has children. They dont understand what it feels like and cant comprehend the emotional rollercoaster you go through every month. 
2015 was probably the hardest year of my life and mentally i really didnt cope very well. I think talking helps. I went to see a counsellor when i was really struggling, and it did help a little. 
I dont have any brilliant suggestions for you but know that you are definitely not alone in how you are feeling. 
If you ever just need to talk feel free to message me. 

Hayley


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

I am sorry you are experiencing difficulties. Infertility can be emotionally and financially draining struggle, unfortunately. But if you want to win this battle, stay positive and don't give up. I am sure yr time will come soon. xx


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## kates0704 (Feb 28, 2017)

you poor thing I know how you feel, I'm 25 and my partner is 29, we have been trying to conceive for 3 years, after the first year we went for fertility checks, unfortunately we pulled the short straw, I have a Prolactinoma (benign tumour on the pituitary gland), PCOS, and a tilted cervix. My partner has very low motility and abnormal sperm morphology. we have one unsuccessful IUI procedure and are saving for IVF (the area I live in the UK does not qualify for treatment on the NHS so have to go private). 

However.. I know 3 of my friends who did not fall pregnant within 1 year ended up with nothing being wrong, 2 of the couples fell pregnant during their fertility investigation, we think this was because they purely relaxed more as the believed something was wrong so during this time they were not obsessing or trying so hard.
Try and relax and make it an enjoyable time trying to conceive, do not obsess or fixate on it is even a small amount of stress can cause fertility problems within itself.

Good luck and I hope you get a BFP one day soon


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## Hannah01 (Mar 17, 2017)

Hello Farmingwife,

Welcome to the community, tests are part of routine they determine if any abnormality exist in the system. Have you been using contraceptive or similar in the pas?

I wish you all the luck…


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