# Adopting as a single man



## NewDonor (Feb 27, 2012)

Hi there,

I’ve been thinking about adoption for a while, but it’s not something I will realistically be able to start for a while as I still live at home so don’t have the space, but thought I may as well try to get some information before I think about starting an application.

Anyway, I’ve had only a brief look at information on adoption, and seem to have come across conflicting information regarding the adoption of girls as a single man. I was under the impression that it is not possible for a single man to adopt a girl (whilst a single woman can adopt a boy) but in other cases I’ve heard that it is possible, just hard to do.  

Of course if I did look into adoption it’s to help a child, regardless of gender, so I’m not closed to the idea of adopting a boy, but seeing as I would be adopting alone, I would rely on family members and close friends, which is kind of why I would have a preference for girls. Apart from my father, everyone in my family is female, even including cousins etc, and the majority of my close friends are female, so I thought having a support network of women would make adopting a girl a more sensible option. I also think there’s more things to do with a girl as boys don’t always tend to be that interested in things outside of sport. 

I of course know that a single man adopting a girl would raise a few eyebrows in regards to the issue of paedophilia, but to be honest I don’t see why it should raise any more than a single man adopting a boy or a single woman adopting, and there’s a thorough background check anyway.  

To be honest if it is true that it is impossible for a single man to adopt a girl that's pretty disheartening   I'd just have to find someone to marry and then get the ball rolling


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## Stubborn (Jul 1, 2011)

I don't have any advice but didn't want to just view and leave so can I just say GOOD LUCK in whatever you do   

The adverts say single 'people' can adopt so I don't know if they can discriminate against you, as long as you have a good reason for wanting to adopt, the same as anyone else.

I hope it all goes well for you


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## Mrs CW (Jul 12, 2004)

Hi there, 
I've not been through the adoption process myself and so I'm sure some of our other members may come along shortly who have way more experience than me.
However, I suspect that the response you may get to initial inquiries would be that you need to get past the idea that you can _ask_ to adopt any particular gender. If you are genuinely interested in adoption, and made it through the selection process, you would be matched with any child that was thought right for you.

I think you might also be asked to leave any gender stereotypes at the door..... boys love doing lots of things besides sport!

Best of luck with it all
C x


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## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

Best of luck in whatever you decide


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi
As you have said, you are in no position to start the ball rolling at the moment and who knows what situation you will find yourself in in 12 months time.  By all means look at adoption but as the government are doing a 'radical' overhaul of adoption processes what is relevant now may not be when/if you are ever ready.
You can state a preference in gender and age range but this can mean you end up waiting longer for a match.  Whether an agency would place a girl with a single man I don't know, every agency is different on their views and so it would really be a case of you having to phone round and find out.  Your support network being mainly women doesn't mean you would be better adopting a girl, women do know and understand boys and their interests as well!  There are loads of things to do with boys and not all girls are girlie, I wasn't and my DD is very much into cars and 'boys' toys already at 19 months.  There are fewer girls for adoption as well which make the wait even longer.
In real terms, I think you would struggle to be matched with a girl in todays competitve matching world.  Girls tend to be a lot more complicated later on and deal with adoption totally different to boys and you can't expect your support network to deal with those issues.
OT


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