# Utterly alone.....



## Viking1 (Mar 15, 2013)

Hi,

I am a newbie here so not quite sure where to post this.

Alone on a Saturday night, again, as we're in a long distance relationship (see signature), and everyone else is busy with their families and respective commitments.

Being forced to move back home again, seeing everyone else having moved on, makes it really difficult to establish new friends or pick up old ones as we don'thave anything in common any more. The conversation stops when they ask for how many kids I/we have. It seems like no one has the space, time or need for someone who "can't" engage in child benefit, school meetings or family holiday resorts.....

I am the only one feeling utterly alone? Seems crazy considering how social media is everywhere, and still there is no one to talk to or who can relate to this feeling. I have tried to look into different groups/activities, but it all boils down to either OAPs, family based gatherings or singles meets.

To top it all up, I was ditched by my sister tonight, as her 14-year old wanted to go to the movies only with her. As childfree/childless, you don't get the priority seat in any departement   I have some friends and acquaintances, but none so close that they would understand, and they all have their lives with families.

Sorry for the outburst, and I know life has lots to offer still, but tonight it all feels like a big, fat hassle.

Does anyone else feel like this at times?

For those who do, here is one that shares the pain with you.


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## Sweetpea123 (Feb 26, 2013)

Oh Hun I feel like that at times too, I'm always putting others first and something's happened tonite where I feel a total mug. I've had a telling off by dp as he's sick of people taking me for granted so from now on I'm not bothering with so called friends etc. my medicine is the gym/exercise do u do anything like this or how about doing a course?! 

I too feel isolated not many understand but luckily I have one friend who has been thru this so she knows where I'm coming from.

From now on the only people that truly matter I can literally count on one hand!

Enjoy your freedom for now like my husband says when it does happen we won't have time for anyone! 

People really get on my wick. I hope I don't sound bitter and twisted lol. Xx


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

i too understand how this feels - people with children have no idea how being childless prevents you entering that group, and all the things they share.  It's tough.  Feeling lonely doesn't help with this whole agony of TTC.  I just finished studying with a bunch of younger people (they were usual uni age, in their early 20s) and it was so nice that they weren't always going on about kids!  

I do have friends both with and without kids.  Those with kids don't understand how it feels. Those without kids, in my case, have chosen that lifestyle because they have no desire to a mum.  So i guess we have to make the most and like Sweetpea says, try to find other things we can do - exercise is a good one. 

and also agree with Sweetpea's DP!  It is too easy for single/childfree people to be taken advantage of and it takes some effort to say 'no' at the right times (not all the time of course) and to put yourself and your partner first.

Good luck to both of you, you're both young so hang on to that positive thought  

Roxy x


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

hi viking.. ttc is very isolating. i'm nearly 43 with almost no social life at all. everyone just wants to talk about their kids or grandkids. can't even go on 'adults only' type hotel breaks for fear of being surrounded by whinging parents who have escaped from their chidren. seems i'm the only person i know who is living behind a glass wall - like 'real life' is in a shop window and i can only watch from outside... like i'm watching tv while everyone else is acting in a soap opera i can only watch. 
long since given up on trying to socialise with people as they come out with 'so when...' and 'you'll have to hurry up you know'...or they assume i don't want children and say 'if you were a parent you'd know' or complain about what a drag it is having all that responsibility..i just end up shutting myself away. everything on offer as activities in life seems geared towards parents and children or the retired. only thing keeping me going is hoping i will get my turn.


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Hi! My Dh was in the Army and we lived on the base! I was only 23 and people went out of their way to ignore me because I didn't have kids! I left him to live there on his own it got that bad and went home! Now I still feel isolated, my two best friends don't have kids and have other social issues so they rely on me but other than that I feel like if I didn't have ff then I would be very lonely! Also I am doing another A level and going to the gym so it helps to keep busy!!
unfortunately there is no way out of this situation other than being resolute ad active!! You have my sympathies and hugs!!!
good luck!!! X x x


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## Viking1 (Mar 15, 2013)

Thank you so much for your lovely replies   warms my heart.....

Sorry about all the typos, will check better next time.

Sweetpea123, I too can count the people who are truly there for me (and vice versa of course) on one hand. It's weird how you discover the gold stars in humans first when it's all againt you in life.

I don't expect everyone to understand what things are like as childfree, but it would be nice if tolerance, respect and consideration went both ways.....


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