# Newbie



## cazinge (Apr 11, 2008)

I have been lurking on here for a while and have finally plucked up the courage to post. My DP and I will are having a CP in October and hoping to start our ttc journey when I finish my degree in june. Good luck to all currently ttc.

Caz x


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## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

Hi there, and welcome!
Hope that the plans are going well for your CP in October  

Any thoughts yet as to which route you'll be taking towards ttc? Are you lucky enough to have a known donor in mind, or do you think you'll go the clinic route?


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## lucky2010 (Jan 10, 2006)

welcome caz!

Good luck for your CP in October, it's on our sons 1st birthday so it must be a lucky day!!!
I'm sure you'll find lots of help and supprt on here.

Rach x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay Caz

welcome to FF hope your summer is going well and plans are coming along nicely.

do keep us posted!

aimee


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## pem (Jan 10, 2007)

Hi and Welcome,

Congrats on the upcoming CP, ours was one of the best days of my life along with having little Edie  

Any ideas on how you plan to ttc Sorry if thats incredibly nosy!!

Em


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## Texas Rose (Aug 15, 2008)

Hi there! I'm also new to FF. I'm hoping to start TTC in March 09. I'm shopping for a known donor in the meantime as I don't like the medicalisation of birth and would really, really like to avoid using a clinic and frozen sperm. We'll see how it goes though.


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay texas rose!

welcome to FF   

good luck with all your plans and finding out about a known donor.  

Natgamble is a legal wizard on this thread and can assist you with any legal questions you and your partner have.

we had one home insem with fresh sperm!  was an experience.  unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it our plans with our Kdonor didnt work out in the end.  but totally with your sentiments regarding over medicilising the procsess.

do you want a donor donor or a some kind of parent role donor?


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## Texas Rose (Aug 15, 2008)

Ideally we'd like a donor who isn't interested in further contact, but depending on the situation we might be open to someone who wanted to be an 'uncle' and have occasional contact (not a co-parent though). It's  just hard finding someone - we moved to Britain from the States a few years ago and haven't made a lot of close friends yet.


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hi texas rose

where are you living?

how are you finding the uk?

i moved to spain three years ago, and it is really hard settling into a new place.

i think i have seen on other threads people mention websites for meeting co-parents and known donors.  but i dont know what they are.  sorry.  

ax


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## cazinge (Apr 11, 2008)

Hi all,

Thanks for the welcome messages. The plans for our CP are going well, except for the fact I have no shoes!!! As far as ttc, we have 2 options in mind - a known donor with a single, straight friend who would have an "uncle" role but we all have a lot to think about before a final decision is made on that and if any, or all, of us decide this isn't an option we'll go the clinic route, although I am also quite turned off by the medicalisation of it all.

Caz x x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay caz

we went down the known donor route with a friend last year ... and after one home try with the fresh stuff and a BFN ... we tried to really tie down in writing what we all wanted and it wasnt happening .. and that was after *8 months* of talking about it. so i know its hard. but there are people here who have co-parented or made agreements with their known donors which have worked out and suited everyone.

its very important that everyone is really honest and feels really comfortable and remember that things can change all the time.

i totally agree about the medicilisation of the process ... and it is FAR more stressfull going to a clinic than diy at home.

But there are other good factors with using a clinic and a unknown donor. and the clinic we have chosen really have been very supportive.

and you will work out what is going to be best for you guys.

do keep us posted!

wishing you all the best.

and GOOD LUCK with the shoes!!!


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## pipgirl (Jul 11, 2007)

Welcome Caz and Texas

We used an anonymous donor via a clinic because we had no one we really felt comfortable with asking..really it was mostly because we were terrified that 'involvment' or even 'uncle status' would turn into a custody battle , which of course it can and in the UK there is no legal way to prevent it.
The other reason is that we felt as long as there was a known donor it would be harder for DP as non bio mum to be accepted as the other parent.

I know its awful but i was worried about using unwashed untested sperm due to STI's as the tests are only ok 'on the day' when done at the GUM clinic and your donor could go out and pick up anything later that same day (if hes a ****).

One gay friend offered tentativley but said he might be ready in about 10 years or so!!! Well if id waited for him we would never have had a chance seeing as i dont have optimum fertility anyway..

Other people have felt this route was best for them, but for us it was clinic donor all the way.

Good Luck.

Pip and DP


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## cazinge (Apr 11, 2008)

After reading a post on another site from a lesbian non-bio mother who said that she is so glad she doesn't have2 share parenting her children with anyone other than her partner and discussing it A LOT with DP, we have decided to go the clinic route and just keeping our fingers crossed that we won't have to get too medicalised.

Have also decided that will contact clinics to get the ball rolling as soon as I finish my degree in June.

Love to all  x x x


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## SANFRAN06 (Apr 27, 2008)

Good luck with everything. This site has been really helpfull for us, and we now have 2 gorgeous boys! Its all worth it! xxx


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