# Newbie Question - Getting through counselling?



## Hope!! (Apr 20, 2008)

Hi,

In the process of trying to use Donor eggs. We are at the counselling session but my partner is very very uncomfortable with this? 
Can anyone advise me?
Can you go ahead with out it? 

We may have to go aboard how is this done?
Is aboard a better option?

Sorry lots of questions 
Hope


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## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi Hope
Just thought I would post the link to a recent thread where several FFers said how helpful they had found counselling for egg donation http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=136518.0
Good counselling can really help you feel prepared for all the long and short term issues that are raised by using egg or sperm donation to create your family. A good counsellor does not direct you in any way but helps you both think about the important issues and come to your own decisions. Oddly enough, it can feel safer to talk about difficult feelings with a counsellor than with each other. Be strong and encourage your partner to attend. It's really not frightening at all.
Olivia


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## eli..g (May 9, 2006)

Hope

I'd just like to say that our councelling session for donor sperm, was so far from the scary thing that we had emagined and worried about.  The guy was really nice and just listened to us.  We came away feeling much happier.  Unfortunatly, no you cant go ahead without it, but please try not to worry. I'm sure it wont be as bad as you imagine xxx


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## roze (Mar 20, 2004)

Hi,

It is possible to get treatment abroad without it however both my clinics asked for confirmation by way of a self declaration that we had been through this. Personally I wouldn't recommend that anyone proceed without pre-treatment counselling.

Its not there to judge you or to assess your suitability for the process, but to make you think about the issues, and there are definitely a lot of issues to think about.  I was actually very against the idea of donor tx before I had counselling!  I could not accept the idea at all.
The counsellor made me talk through all my fears and concerns in great detail and I came away thinking that we could in fact deal with the issues in order to achieve our dream. There is also for most people a grieving process which needs to happen before we can move on from the concept of having a genetic child which the counsellor helped me in particular to address.

I hope this has been helpful, and that you achieve your dream.

regards


roze xx


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## kittyblue (Jan 12, 2008)

Our counselling session for donor sperm, was more about if we were fit to be parents.  
Obviously slightly irritating.  Still we did learn that "babies cry".


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