# Am in need of support



## Susie7 (Feb 9, 2011)

I am struggling through this one - we have just had another negative cycle and not really sure what to do next.
brief history
ICSI 1 - pregnant - an-embryonic - D & C
FET 1 - BFN
FET 2 - BFN
ICSI 2 - pregnant - weak heartbeat - miscarried - D & C
FET 3 - BFN
FET 4 - BFN
ICSI 3 - took to blastocysts - BFN
FET 5 - BFN

My body at the moment feels pregnant although I have tested negative. The clinic will not do a blood test and I have stopped the pessaries and oestrogen 3 days ago and still have not bled. I have had sickness, sore boobs, metal taste in mouth, extreme tiredness, very heightened sense of smell etc. So what next? Wait for AF to arrive?
When that does come? where do we go then SO am looking for some advice about our options now if anybody would be willing to offer I would be grateful. Thanks.


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## marysol (Mar 21, 2005)

Dear Susie,

So sorry to hear that you have had a negative cycle, especially reading what you have both been through in recent years, it really isn't fair.  This should have been your turn.

I have just had a negative cycle too, tested on valentines day, BFN.  Like you, i felt completely pregnant the weekend before testing, heightened sense of smell, veiny boobs, you name it, i had it.  I was so distraught when i saw the hpt.  My period came three days after testing, it was heavy for the first day, with clots galore (sorry, TMI) then normal really.  

I now feel totally empty and numb really.  We are thinking about going to Spain for further DE treatment, (my eggs are not too good!)
However, like you after failures, i feel as if it will never work and i wondered whether i should have immune testing? I have no idea what to do.  Money is tight too at the moment.

When have you got a follow up consultation? Maybe your consultant will give you some information about where to go next.  If you went to blast there doesn't seem to be a problem with the development of the embryos, and i'm presuming your lining was ok before treatment?  Maybe, you need a bit of time to get your strength up again in preparation for another try? There doesn't seem any reason why the treatment shouldn't work eventually.

Sorry i can't offer much help, like you, i am not sure what to do yet.  My first feeling is to have another go, but then again, if it fails again, i don't think i could cope.

Good luck with whatever you decide, and hope the next few days aren't too bad for you.

Lots of love,

Marysol x


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## Susie7 (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks Marysol for your reply.
Things do seem a little brighter today. My AF has actually arrived this morning so in one sense it does feel like closure and I can move on now.
I also feel so low and it is comforting to know that you are not on your own in some weird and awful sense. How awful to find out on Valentines day of all days - couldn't be any worse could it. My husband and I found out the day after our 16th anniversary! It was a bit of a kick in the teeth to say the least and boy have I cried.
Teh after care from my clinic isn't very hot unfortunately, in fact it's virtually nonexistent. We have a review consultation on the 4th March and I have written him a letter with a whole load of questions that we need answering before we consider our way forward. I thought it best he had it beforehand as there were rather a lot!
We are also looking into immune testing - I am in the middle of reading Dr Beer's book - Is your body baby friendly? which looks at immune testing in detail - you might want to get a copy of it if that's what you are considering too. It's very interesting and seems to make perfect sense but why all IVF clinics are not doing it I will never know but I suppose that is progressive nature of medical technology. I have also just started taking apimist - supposed to improve the quality of your eggs so will see if that makes a difference.
Spain does sound like an option - is much cheaper? - our funds are very low now and it will be a while before we go again as we will have to save up unless I win the lottery. I think also we might change clinics to one that does do immune testing and give that a go but it all does depend on what our consultant says on the 4th March - have you had your follow up appointment yet? What did they have to say?
Take care Marysl and keep in touch x


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