# Another pg announcement - this time a clanger



## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

Hi Ladies

BE PREPARED

I\ve just come back from having breakfast with a FORMER friend.... we have been friends for 10 years, we met while living/working abroad. She has always been a moaner. She lived in Hong Kong and moaned about the pollution, now lives in London with investment banker DH and moans about everything. She met me this morning and moaned - about being 10 weeks pg!!!!!!! WTF!??!??!! I am furious with her. For not considering my feelings (we were both open with each other about going through IVF - yes both of us - for number 2). I just can't believe her. 

I texted her and said that I couldn't believe that she moaned to me, to stop thinking life is a downer, yes hormones and being tired is ****, but so is IVF and losing your dad and now suddenly having to care for your demented mother (I left out the last bit). For F*CKS SAKE!!!!!!!!!!

I am so fed up of being held to ransom by these feelings. I know you all feel the same. WE have to be the bigger person, smile and be happy for everyone (which we do)....

I know I have a lot to be grateful for and despite the rant-y nature of this message I am. I just get VERY ANGRY when I feel that someone is utterly careless with my feelings. 

             

R xxx


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## smallbutmighty (Aug 5, 2013)

100% know where you're coming from. Friend of mine did the same thing last September; sat and moaned about how awful it was being pregnant with number 2. Then told me that I should be careful what I wished for in wanting a child because it was actually awful. Finally she told me my treatment probably wouldn't work and that if I wanted one that badly I should adopt. 

At which point I said, "well, if yours is such a burden, why I don't I take her off your hands?" That ended that conversation pretty abruptly. We haven't really spoken since. 

I am feeling pretty livid with a colleague of mine I saw yesterday who showed me pictures of his lovely newborn twins then went on to say if it didn't work I can adopt. To which I said I don't think that is something to be entered into lightly, I think you have to think about it pretty hard and recognise that it isn't like buying a replacement light bulb. To which he said that in that case I wasn't that maternal anyway. To which I said that maybe I had enough to get through at the moment with going down the massively bureaucratic path of adoption on top of treatment and finally asked him why he hadn't adopted. At which point he did shut up. And look very embarrassed. As he should have.  

Another friend of mine has just sent me a mother's day thing this morning about the joy of adoption. I just don't understand where people's heads are coming from that they think it is appropriate to suggest massive life changing decisions to people  as a by-the-way email. I mean, it isn't like she's sending me a link to a new dog and saying I might like it. It is a child! And she thinks she's showing me this new idea that might never have occurred to me.

It may well be that one day we walk that path, but that will be because I have chosen it and considered it very carefully, not because I'm doing it as a quick fix for heaven's sake. I also feel VERY ANGRY for exactly the same reason. Grrrrrr.


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