# Anyone else a teacher going through ivf ?



## sammer (Sep 1, 2005)

Hi have just found out I will need ivf as both tubes blocked with adhesions and scarring , I am a teacher and am worried about the stress of the job and the actual treatment how it will make me feel . Luckily I have an understanding headteacher , so hopefully she will be understanding , fingers crossed! Also how soon does treatment usually start have my first appointmnet following lap and dye on 14th June we are going to go private , so do they start almost immediately ?
Many Thanks Sammer x


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## Cheery (May 2, 2005)

hi Sammer, 

I'm a teacher (secondary HoY) and have been through IVF twice, the last being about 8 months ago    

I actually quite enjoyed carrying on working whilst I was in treatment as I meant I had something to keep my mind off of the treatment... it can be very emotional!  I obviously took time off for appointments and the procedures itself but during the jabs and 2 week wait (not sure if you know how IVF goes but I can explain if you like) I went back to work.

I also went private at the Wolfson Clinic at Hammersmith Hospital. After consultation and preparatory treatment, as a result of a late cancellation, I was able to get onto cycle straight away. It really depends on where you chose to go and what their wait lists are in the 1st place. 

Luckily for me, my 2nd attempt was positive and I am now on maternity awaiting the arrival of my 1st  

Give me a shout if you have any particular questions or send me an email (on my profile)

Good luck!

Cheery


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## Nicole P (Mar 10, 2006)

Hi sammer,

I am a school teacher aswell!  I am 11 day in my 2 week wait to see if I am pregnant.  I started my cycle just before easter, as I wanted time out of work and I thought my egg collection and transfer would fall in the holidays, but it seemed to be delay a week so my EC happen on easter monday and work went back on the wednesday, so I took 4 days off. (my clinic gave my a certificate) My year 6 children have their SAT's in a week, I just try to concentrate on my class and not think about other things going on at school as that is where I get stressed!

Like you Cheery I think being at work does taken your mind off things!

wish you luck!
Nicole
x


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## pollttc (Nov 18, 2004)

Hi there
I'm a secondary school teacher too. I'd only been in a new job for about a month when I had to tell them I would be starting IVF. Strangely they didn't mind and were really supportive. I took both weeks of 2ww off as discretionary leave and then a few more days cos I had mild OHSS once I got my BFP!  The reason I took both weeks was because I knew if I got stressed or if a kid ran into me or anything and I got a BFN then I'd never stop kicking myself.

You have to do what ever feels right.

Best of luck to you Nicole - hope the waits going well!

Poll


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## sammer (Sep 1, 2005)

I notice that you are in Southampton , i live in Portsmouth where did you have your ivf done ?


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## MrsJof (Mar 12, 2006)

Hi there - Im a teacher too - primary school. 

I know how you feel as we are about to embark on IVF and I have the same reservations about work .

Like you, my headteacher is understanding - not sure how understanding she will be if I have to take lots of time off though! 

WE are also private and have been told after our last consultation that we can start assap. However, our consultant left us with soemthing to consider before we made a decision. He would like me to have my tubes removed before we start treatment. Im really gutted and totally shocked - it seems so final. My tubes are also severly damaged and thickened. He wants to remove them to avoid the risk of eptopic preganancy as they are not totally blocked. 

My DH and I are contemplating this at the moment - we have another appointment next week to discuss it again. We would like to have one go with my tubes intact.  

God there are so many decisions to make!

Anyway its great talking to some fellow teachers - please stay in touch 

V
xx


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## amron (Mar 15, 2006)

Im a supply teacher so unlike you ladies I can in theory work when I want to, Just wating to start the rollercoaster but we a NHS so had no options as to when to start.


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## dancer (Jun 21, 2005)

Hello everyone,

I am also a teacher in a sixth form college and about to embark on treatment. We have just completed all of our initial tests at our local hospital and are now waiting for an appointment at a fertility clinic (on the NHS).

I also got a very positive response from my line manager, who told me to take whatever time off  I needed. I was totally relieved and now feel able to focus on the task in hand - whenever that may be!!

Dancer x


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## Cuthbert (Oct 3, 2003)

I too am a teacher (primary) and last time around, 5 years ago, I had an understanding Head who let me take any time off that I needed. I didn't take any of the 2WW off, although it was the end of the summer term and so very busy. 

This time around I'm at a different school and, while the Head is understanding in some ways, he says that I've chosen to have treatment and so he can't see that he should have to fund my time off. So I think that I'm going to be paid for one or two of my days out of school but that's it. Which makes the whole thing much more expensive than it would be normally, especially as I'm the sole wage earner. (Sorry, rant over.)

Jules


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## sk (Dec 6, 2004)

Hi I too am a teacher(primary). I'm very lucky I have a brilliant head who is so understanding about everything, the only thing is I feel guilty leaving my class but then when I'm at the clinic I dont think about it. We're starting our second round of ivf at the moment, we have had 2 negatives, one with fresh and then a fet, hoping it works this time. Am on half term at the moment which is always good!
karen


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## Maddymoo (Oct 9, 2005)

Hi there-just saw this thread and thought I'd join you xxx

I too am a teacher (primary). I seem to be slightly different to the other girls though-we chose not to tell anyone about our treatment except immediate family. So no one at work knows anything about it. We have our reasons for this decision. As you can see from my sig we are yet to be successful!!! We do as much as we can in the school holidays although this can be quite restricting. 

I am considering part time options right now as I just think it would make life alot easier!!! Well thats the idea-I don't regret not telling anyone, but that is just our personal decision.

Really good to chat to some other teachers  

Love Maddy xxx


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## rooth (May 8, 2006)

Hi all

Thought I'd join this thread too - it's good to hear from other teachers!

I work in a primary school (Deputy head) and have told my head about the treatment.  he's been very supportive and has an approach of 'just do what you need to do!'.  I'm very fortunate in this and it has made things much easier.  

I'm mid IVF at the moment and had ET yesterday, so just resting and taking things easy for now.  It's been really helpful having half term this week too!  The clinic I attend does scans and bloods from 7am, so I've been able to go before work and not disrupt my class too much.  However, I'm now off for the 2ww - 1st week self certified and 2nd with drs note. This is our first IVf and I'm a bit paranoid about too much stress or a small child running into me at the moment! At least I can sit at home and write reports.....

take care

Rooth x


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi there,

Another teacher here - primary. And looking for some advice. I live in Scotland and I also have mc issues (3mcs then nothing for the last 18+ months) and got referred down south to St Mary's for mc testing. We're planning another go of IVF down south (with immune tests and possibly PGS) but have just run into issues with time off. I discovered that my mc apts in London (4 days) had been taken off as family leave, so when I went to ask for a day to go for our IVF apt in London I was told it'd be unpaid as I'd used up my family days. So I stand to go through a whole cycle on unpaid leave - and since it's down south and closely monitored AND probably on immunosupressants, it'll be about a month off. I now have to appeal to my personnel dept who have no policy on IVF treatment and investigations!! 

I can't believe it! I took no time off for the mcs (natural conceptions and mcs were complete so I didn't need D&Cs) - went to the early pg unit first thing in the mornings for bloods and worked through all three of them. Then I did the IVF cycle in the holidays. I feel I've done my best to minimise the impact of my issues on my work. Can't do it all in the summer hols - I've been at this more than 3 years and I'm 37 years old so time is running out! We want this next cycle of IVF to be our last and to try to get pointers from it as to whether we might try donor eggs or surrogacy - which also take time and money of course. 

I could just get my GP to sign me off for the cycle under a different pretext (stress, gynaecological investigations etc). But I feel it's a point of principle - I can't do flexi time or take annual leave to do this and such a huge employer of women really ought to have a policy on this. Don't know whether it's them or my boss that made the initial decision but this is where I'm landed. I'm also worried that in appealing (and involving the union, as they're planning to base policy on their decision on me, so the union is going to have to advise me or I could blow my own chances and everybody else's too!), I'll get a reputation as a sh*t-stirrer and not be able to move jobs if I want to. Anybody got any thoughts/advice on this?

Sorry for the longwinded post!
Cheers,
Jan


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## sk (Dec 6, 2004)

This is a hard one. Have you talked to your head about it? What is their honest opinion? I think that would be where your answr lies. If they are against it then I would get the doctor to sign you off sick for medical reasons and therefore supply insurance would kick in. However if they have no problem with it and its payroll being funny then you could ask your head for support in trying to get them to change their stance. Good luck.


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## linzi32 (Feb 14, 2006)

Hi All
Silver6 - I am also in Scotland and our council have a  policy of reasonable time off. I have been having IUI's and on the whole the school have been willing to give me time off. We are aiming to start IVF later this year and to be honest I am already planning that I will be taking time off. I have hardly been off in the 5 years I have worked for my current employer and we are paying way too much money for the treatment to risk anything. We are lucky that we have an understanding doctor who would give me as much time off as I need and would also put a general comment on the line(confidentiality is a wonderful thing) so no need for the council to know exactly why you are off. I know it is probably a point of principle but sometimes you need to think of the option which makes it easier.

Bye
Linzi32
x


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## Shebeen (May 30, 2006)

Hi to all fellow teachers.

I am a secondary teacher and am currently on my 2WW and will be testing on Friday 9 June.  Luckily the timing for me on this first cycle of IVF worked out quite well as I only had to have three days of work just before half term to go down to London to have my EC (on the Wednesday) and then ET on Friday.  I had toyed with the idea of going into to work on Thursday but that was really stupid and there was no way I could have gone in to work - too excited and too sore.  I didn't tell the school why I would be off work - just said I was going into hospital for a minor op.  I only started work at this school in January so that was part of the reason for being economical with the truth - anyway, having also worked "in industry" previously, when I went through IUI - it was soooo much easier to get the paid time off just by using annual leave, or using the flexi time option.

Best wishes to everyone starting back on Monday.
Shebeen


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## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hiya, 

I'm a secondary teacher, and Dh is a primary teacher.  I'm kind of invading this thread cos we are having ICSI and not IVF.  Hope you dont mind!  During the first cycle I obviously had time off for appointments.  DH came with me to some of them and had time off for SSR. I went back to work for the 2ww.  AF started on day 13 of the 2ww (during a HMI inspection!) and this time I'd try and take time off.  I think its down to personal choice but the stress of the job and the fear of a kid running into me etc just didnt help at all.  

The deputy head was really supportive for the first cycle and I hope will be again.  Now there are 3 pregnant women at work and I think the head is getting stressed at the amount of maternity leave coming up!  

Hope you've all had a good half term week and dont mind me invading this thread!

Tracy xx


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## Maddymoo (Oct 9, 2005)

Hi xx

Its really interesting to read other people's experiences x

I just wanted to ask Tracey-what is SSR

Love Maddy xxx


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## peppermintT (Feb 15, 2006)

Hi All

I'm a secondary GTP teacher and have 3 days of my 2ww left on my first tx. Luckily the half term hols fell just about right for me. When I was going to the hospital for scans I was at a placement so it was easy to get time off. I spoke to the head and HoD at my school and arranged special leave (I presume paid!) for EC/ET ) (3 days). They were quite understanding - although as I'm a trainee I guess they figure they have only got to deal with my "problem" for a few more weeks and then they're shot of me!

Silver6 - have you spoken to your union about the problems you are having with your school. Prior to my training I worked in "industry" for over 10 years and, in my experience, getting time off or out in teaching is 150% easier - it seems a much more "family friendly" environment and having regular holidays every 7 or so weeks means there is a good chance of at least some of your treatment being out of term time. Obviously, there is the stress factor but I don't think that is any different to any other demanding, professional job. I used to work in law which is still a very male dominated profession at the higher levels and I don't think it would be as easy to fit treatment around my old job as it is now.

Good luck to everyone!


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## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hiya, 

SSR is surgical sperm retreival.  DH was terrified at the prospect of a big needle down there but he was sedated thankfully!!

Peppermint - Good luck for testing. Let us know how you get on.

I'm gonna tell the deputy head tomorrow that I will need some time off for the next cycle.  not sure how he'll react.  I've had time off this year already for the first cycle, then time off because my grandad died.  All valid reasons for not being at work but I still feel bad asking for more time.  Wish me luck!

Tracy xxx


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## Georgia69 (May 16, 2006)

Hiya 

I'm a Deputy Head going through my second IVF , my Head was very supportive during my first IVF - even bought me a box of M&S chocs when it didn't work !!  There was a lot of gossip when I was off for EC & ET , but I just figured that it would soon be old news .I got my doctor to put someting very general on my sicknote - I had just over a week off .

For this cycle I couldn't have timed it better with it being half term for EC & ET , and I'm actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow to take my mind off this waiting .......( OK I'm not REALLY looking forward to it , its just that I know the days will go very quickly ) 

G x


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi girls - thanks for the advice & support. I think I've shot myself in the foot by being honest with my boss throughout - because all this started with my first miscarriage and he already knew I was pg at that point so he knew I was ttc and I just continued to be up-front. He's been pretty supportive, but I understand that there are budget issues in all schools and there's no policy or legislation on time off for IVF stuff. All the waiting list, testing and hospital issues have meant that although some of it has been timed OK for holidays, this next, last cycle just can't.

PeppermintT - I too worked in "industry" before going into teaching. I'm not sure about "better" or "worse", but I was at least able to use flexi-time and annual leave for things that aren't covered by sick leave and, let's face it, I was payed a bit more and could probably have afforded to take a bit of unpaid leave if I had to. Personally, I find there's more guilt (internal and external) about the fact that someone has to cover every.single.time. I'm out and that the cover has to be paid for - the work doesn't wait for me  ! I also teach the youngest primary kids, so there's an even bigger deal about taking time out, as I'm their only teacher for two full years - adds to the guilt and disruption! I am going to contact my union - you're quite right. Not to make a complaint at all, but because the union really should be the ones negotiating policy with the region, not me! Interestingly, Asda has a policy on reasonable time off for fertility treatment.

It seems unfair enough that we can't get pg the normal way, but then to have all these other stresses and hurdles on top of that, it really wears you down  ! Sometimes I find it impossible to believe that people can actually have sex, get pregnant and have a baby at the end  ! Sorry - feeling a bit sorry for myself .

Here's to all of us making it through to a BFP and a baby at the end!!

Cheers,
Jan


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## MrsJof (Mar 12, 2006)

Hi girls

Im a primary teacher and started my first round of IVf on friday. I am going into school tomorrow tonotify my head taht I will be needing week 5 & 6 off this term. Im not sure what the response will be but my hospital has told me that they will sign me off anyway. I just keep telling myself that I want to give this tx 100% and feel that it needs to be my one priority. It seems to be bad timing - the end of term - but is there ever a good time??

So far my head hads been really supportive - but then again I haven't missed any time yet. Will let you know the outcome tomorrow! Wish me luck!!


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## Georgia69 (May 16, 2006)

Hi 

good luck for tomorrow ,  your tx must be your priority at the moment , teaching can be really stressful especially this last half term and you must focus on what is important for you .

I am sure that some LEAs have a policy about IVF treatment and time off  , as I think I have seen it somewhere , I will investigate further .............................

With best wishes for your tx 

G x


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## Lizz (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi  

I am a primary teacher and this will be my 3rd ICSI cycle  . I have timed this one so that EC is in the first week of the summer holidays. The previous 2 I had the full support of the headteacher and took the full week of EC/ET off both times. However, I didn't want anyone to know about our 3rd cycle as I am paranoid that they all feel really sorry for me and I just wanted to do it quietly. I have waited 9 months since last cycle and having just turned 35 I know that time is not on my side.

If 3rd time lucky doesn't work for us then I will be considering going abroad and I will just get my GP to sign me off sick. If I was pregnant naturally they would have to give me the time off for appointments etc but unfortunately those of us with IF are made to feel like 2nd class citizens.
I wish everyone lots of luck in the TX
Love Liz xx


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## peppermintT (Feb 15, 2006)

Silver6 - I totally take your point; in fact, your response gave me a wry smile: schools aren't really just run on teachers, they're run on [fly]good, old fashioned guilt!! [/fly] 
Hope the union is able to come up with something constructive.

PeppermintT


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## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hiya girls, 

Hope you are all ok.  Didnt catch the deputy head today to tell him about treatment but will try again over the next couple of days. hectic day.  The head did  buy us all choc ices to eat during the staff meeting though!

T xx


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## GeorgieLiz (Jan 8, 2006)

Hi everyone

Sorry to barge in on your thread and I know it's a busy time of year for us but I'm hoping someone can answer my question.

It seems that quite a few of you are very lucky to have understanding Heads, but when you say that they've given you time off does that mean paid or unpaid? My Head seems understanding and has let me have off mornings or afternoons for appointments, but she has said that if I want a day or more then it's got to be unpaid. I'm hopefully starting d-iui next week (if they can find a donor) and I would really like to take a few days off after insemination, but I can't afford to if it's unpaid. I could ask the consultant to sign me off but it's a private clinic so I don't know if they can do things like that.

Thanks very much

Georgia x


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## angel wings (Mar 25, 2006)

Hi GeorgieLiz,

I'm not a teacher but I do work in an early years setting with young children. I have just had IVF privately and my clinic don't issue you with a sick note but your own GP will. I am allowed to self certificate for the first 7 days and then I need a doctors note which I got from my GP yesterday without any problems.

I do find it abit unfair that your head said you would have to take unpaid leave.

Hope this helps and good luck with your d-iui.

Angel Wings
xxx


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## Claireabelle (Jun 29, 2004)

Hi, I'm an Advisory Teacher and after reading all of your posts felt that I had to reply!. I am VERY VERY lucky that my head of service is lovely and really understanding and has no problem with me having any time off at all for my IVF. I am currently on my 2WW and had last week off and am only going back to work today. I am in the NUT and took advice from them long before I started my IVF (just in case)....

'Failure to allow a teacher time off or the application of other detrimental treatment by a school or LEA may amount to unlawful sex discrimination.

Any member who is refused paid time off to undergo fertility treatment should contact their NUT regional office or in Wales, NUT Cymru.'

Don't now if this helps any of you but I bet that the Headteachers who are being a bit funny all have children (oooooooh aren't I sooooo cynical  )

Clairexxxx


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## Lou G (Jun 1, 2005)

Hiya,

I teach at secondary level and will be starting my ICSI tx in the summer hols - I've actually put it off until then as I don't want to tell anyone I'm having ICSI.  I know I'll be able to relax more then which I'm hoping will have a positive effect on the whole process.

Good luck to all you fellow teachers - it's not easy is it? (especially when you have pregnant teens in your class!)

Lou x


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## DanniB (Mar 13, 2005)

Hi 
There's so many teachers on this thread!  Is there an underlying stress related link!  Or is that is rubbish!  It is what some people might think.

I am a primary teacher who has an understanding headteacher and an experienced TA who just takes over when I am at an appointment.  There's also been another member of staff go through it too and it's only a small school!

It's not the easiest job to leave due to the guilt factor of being child centred.  BUT this is more important to me at the moment and after the summer holidays the children will forget that I wasn't there the last week of term.  (egg collect and transfer)#

Just lock your laptop away so you can't carry on in the evening!


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## Cuthbert (Oct 3, 2003)

Georgia, my previous Headteacher gave me paid time off for IVF but my current Head will not give me paid leave. I contacted my union and they said that it is up to individual employers as to whether or not they pay teachers for time off for IVF appointments. I can't afford to take the time off unpaid but equally I can't afford (time wise) to postpone my treatment until next year's summer holiday (sadly my clinic had a 6 month waiting list and so we missed this year's summer holiday). Good luck with the treatment.

Jules


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## GeorgieLiz (Jan 8, 2006)

Thanks to everyone for your responses. Much appreciated - will just keep my head down at school and continue to show that I'm trying hard not to have full days off. I think that my LEA have a policy where time off for fertility treatment is unpaid.

Good luck

Georgia x


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## Alisha (Jun 5, 2006)

Hello ladies 
I teach in adult ed so I'm not under as much pressure as you. It doesn't seem fair that its down to your individual heads - I know my partner is having problems getting paid leave as its not considered medical?? I haven't told my line managers what the hospital appointments have been for and they haven't asked, as far as I'm concerned its a private gynaecological problem -which it kind of is. But the summer does seem to be the best time for us (free of guilt) - fortunately I finish next week - at about the time of exams and after a week of stimming -just in time!
Good luck to you all starting/waiting and in the process of   
Alisha x


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## JumpingJess (Jun 8, 2006)

Me too. I teach secondary, and I have had a great deal of understanding from my Head and Head of Dept while undergoing 2 lots of IUI (unsuccessfully) in the spring.  

Eager to push on and resolve this one way or the other I signed up with the Lister to have IVF during the Summer hols. Started down ****** in July, yesterday I had my 10 day scan, but with disappointing news - I don't seem to be responding to the Puregon.   Now they've upped my dose - so I'm hoping for more success. I'm not sure I can handle more treatment and school at the same time, and I don't think it's fair of me to take advantage of the Head's goodwill a third time.

Hey, Lou G, I'm guessing you're writing from Wales - so am I!


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