# BFN but not giving up!



## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

Well another BFN for me this weekend. Not sure how I really feel the second time around?

Already I'm looking at different clinics and driving myself   but I'm not giving up and will do what it takes to finally see two flipping lines on a poas in my lifetime!!  

I changed clinics, drugs & protocols this time with the hope it will improve things. I actually responded worse, but the two that did fertilise had no fragmentation so were better quality. ( theoretically )

Had a good   this afternoon for 10 mins & now feel ready to face work tomorrow. (no one knows there) 

Already got follow up consultation booked for this Tuesday - yes I did say this Tuesday. 4 days after my BFN but I want to get it out the way & DH works abroad so the sooner the better. I am hoping with two lots of info on two failed cycles they might be able to give us a better indication of what's going wrong? 

Then we can decide the next stage.

Sending   to anyone else who is in the same boat. It's just not fair is it?

M

Xx


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## Hardcastle75 (May 1, 2012)

Hey Michimoo,

Good to meet you. 

Like you had a good cry and a few glasses of wine. And tonight feeling a lot more positive. We have been trying for 7 years and like you have unexplained Infertility.

This was our first treatment, Two embryos on board grade 1 grade 1 and one grade 2. Lining was brilliant so we confidently thought this was our time. But this morning AF arrived  3 days left on the dreaded 2WW and we are devastated   Just to kick me In the teeth It arrived with full avengence. Mega period pains and very heavy just to be extra cruel.

I have never ever seen those lines on a POAS which We so long for.

But hey ho these things are set to make us stronger and all of that !

I will call hospital In the morning and like you will move forward to get the ball rolling again.

Looking forward to getting to know you !

How often does your hubby go away?. You are amazing to do this partly on your own.

So lets brush ourself off and may the next time be our time.

Lisa

XXX


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## Chloe l (Apr 19, 2012)

Hello michimoo ,

I would love to keep in touch there is a thread already set up for BFN chatter & in-between cycle talk which I have also joined there are quite a few people on there if you fancy joining too, if not I will still pop on here as would be fab to keep in touch. 

I was so sorry michimoo to read that your cycle hadn't been sucessful you so deserved it , it must be very hard . I found it really tough & still feel like my life is in hold my follow up appointment isn't until the 13 th July ! Which feels like forever !!! Hoping to try again in about 3 months time , what about you ? 

I think your very brave going back to work Tom take it easy xxx

How was your weekend did u get away with DH ? 

Take care 
Lots a love n hugs 
Chloe xx


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## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

Hey Ladies,

Well I'm having a nice glass of red right now!   so cheers!  

DH goes away for a whole month & home for 25 days then the cycle starts again so   is every other month!  

We went to Longleat yesterday & the whole place was packed with families but it didn't really bother me. Think I was still numb then. 

Dreading the whole work thing tomorrow and might look like a bit of a frog with my puffy eyes from today's little  

Just hope I get some sleep tonight, hence the large glass of vino!  

Chloe - 13th of July Can't you get one sooner?

Lisa - I'm still waiting for the dreaded painful period! 

I am now seriously considering ARGC but will wait until Tuesdays appt is over to see what they say. 

M

Xx


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## Chloe l (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi michimoo , 

Cheers I'm also having the vino infact I've had one most nights since my BFN ! It helps me get through . 

On my phone & can't do the link to the bfn chatter thread but it's in the main home page u should see it if not I'll send u the link when I'm next on the laptop. 

Well done for getting out & about & going to longeat I'm told it helps to get out. 

Enjoy your wine
Xxxxx


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## Hardcastle75 (May 1, 2012)

Morning !

Well just looked In the mirror and yep your summary of how you thought you would look from the  Is pretty much what I saw !!

Michimoo:I hope your day goes okay today.  ARGC I have just looked It up. Is that near for you to get too?

Chloe: Hope you enjoyed your wine. I had not had a drink for about six weeks but after getting my BFN yesterday I did. Looking back It was quite surreal , I went to boots to get a pregnancy test. And then went over to Morrisons to get a bottle of wine. As I gathered going to the counter with a bottle of wine and a pregnancy test would look kinda obvious. I opened that wine at 11.00am ! 
Feeling better this morning. DH has been wonderful.

I have not seen the other board Chloe?


Lisa
X


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## Chloe l (Apr 19, 2012)

Lisa, 
Good morning nice to meet you just a shame about the circumstances . You are very brave going into work today be gentle with yourself . Hope keeping busy helps you & the day whizzes by x

I too didn't make it to my OTD I started bleeding day 10 so I did a POAS test & for 4 days in a row it said I was pregnant trigger shot was 17 days ago as I had a 5 day blast put back so on the fifth day I had convinced myself it was implantation bleeding but then my test changed to negative I will never forget that dreadful moment I just screamed NO. I keep waking up each morning hoping the pain will go I feel like ny body played a joke on me. I guess the best I can hope to feel is less pain each day as it fades. 

I'm trying to focus on next cycle now just hate all the waiting ..

Michimoo - lots of love to you hope today back at work goes ok xxx


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## Chloe l (Apr 19, 2012)

Hello all,

here is the link for the BFN chatter and inbetween cycles thread that is already up and running, hope to see you on there

let me know if the link doesnt work

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=287607.0

chloe x


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## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Hello girls,
I too am enjoying a bit of vino while I can. No follow-up for me until mid-July either, Chloe. I am half thinking of going straight to a private clinic though, with more specialist expertise in morphol problems, and just finding / borrowing the money to go to the best, however the problem is that I live a long way from London ... Am about to go away for a week with dh, then we will tackle all these things and think it through properly when I get back.
Michimoo, hope your follow-up goes well on Tuesday, and that back to work today has not been too horrible.
Much love,
P XX


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## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

Hey Ladies. Sorry not been on for a bit but been bawling my eyes out all afternoon.

Had my follow up today & the suggestion of DE came up. They might as well of ripped my heart out there & then!

Anyway on phone so off to bed. Work tomorrow. 

Love u ladies 
M
Xx


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## Kirsty1 (May 13, 2010)

Hi ladies I too had our 3rd bfn 2 weeks ago me and my hubby are devastated but have decided to save\borrow to go private! I ve been looking at create clinic in london and they do natural\soft ivf which I've been interested in! The clinic say they do natural ivf and they have success rate with women who have had failed ivf and who had previously been suggested to use DE again like I have! They have an open day on 14th july so me and dh are going along to find out more about it in case anyone is interested!
Positive thoughts and reiki that it is out time to be mummys soon!!xx


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## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

Hi Kirsty,

Sorry to hear your news. Sending    Why did they suggest DE to you? I kind of felt like they were clutching at straws yesterday with the DE comment. But it doesn't mean that I didn't have a sleepless night & don't feel absolutely bereaved. 

I will look at the Create Clinic website.


M

Xx


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## Kirsty1 (May 13, 2010)

Hi michimoo they suggested ed for us because they said I have low egg reserves and the 2nd ivf had no eggs that fertilised so they said quality wasn't that good! However with our last go the egg quality was good and embryo quality was good but sadly didn't implant x 
I know how frustrating it can be! One of the drs we saw was like oh we may cancel this cycle but we went through to ec. Think where its their job and they see lots of people they forget we have feelings and get hurt by flippant comments they make if there not explained properly. They should have explained why they'd suggested it! Sending u hugs hun xx


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## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

Hi ladies 

Well I've decided I'm not ready to give up on OE yet & have sent my forms off today to ARGC! Here's   they can help us.

M


Xx


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## sydneygirl (Jul 23, 2011)

Hey Michimoo, so sorry for your BFN   I had my second one this week too and know how much it hurts. You seem to b positive and proactive sorting your forms for a new clinic. And good for you for sticking with your own eggs, considering that on average it takes 3 cycles for it to work the DE talk seems a little premature. I'm not one for questioning the professionals but that suggestion seems odd to me!
I really hope your next cycle brings you your dream. We'll be doing our third and final cycle before the end of the year, I pray it results in a visit from the elusive stork but if not we'll be going into next year with a new dream.
Thinking of you xxx


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

Hi

Why not join in the BFN chatter thread that is already set up

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=287607.140


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