# Over 30 years since vasectomy, now considering SSR + ICSI



## AngloAsian (Nov 4, 2008)

Hi everyone

This very old man (62) is lucky to have a beautiful DW 24 years his junior. We've been married for 11 years and are now considering SSR and ICSI so my DW can have a child. I had a vasectomy 33 years ago after the birth of my second child in my previous marriage. 

It's a very difficult decision: weighing up all the risks without fully knowing what the chances are of success. Will it all be worth it? Will the possibility of failure be harder for my DW than not having tried? I have enjoyed the pleasure of my own children and I don't want to deprive her of the same feelings. I'll do anything for her and I'm willing to take the risk, although not too enthusiastic.

After such a long time not being released, will my sperm manage to wake up? Will my DW's irregular periods mean even less chance of success? If we start the process, will it hurt too much if we fail?  

The success rates of the procedures we're considering seem fairly good, and our talk with a consultant this morning has left us in a positive mood. It would be nice to hear from others who have been in a similar position and to find out how they have fared.


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Hi AngloAsian!

Welcome to FF! Lovely to have you here....

Although my DH has never has SSR, I have known so many sucess stroies on FF. A mod will be along shortly to put you in the right direction.

Have you ever seen anyone about your treatment plans? They would be able to give you a good idea on what you face.

Unfortunatly all fertility tx is a risk, not matter if you have problems or not.... But it sounds like you and your DW are ready for what the future holds.


AngloAsian said:


> After such a long time not being released, will my sperm manage to wake up? Will my DW's irregular periods mean even less chance of success? If we start the process, will it hurt too much if we fail?


Lots of tests wil be done on you both before any tx, so the clinic can do whats best for you... And yes it does hurt when it doesnt go your way.. But if you have each other it helps.

Take care and good luck with your journey!

Natalie... (who's DH is 20 years my senior!)


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## outspan3 (Jan 22, 2006)

Hello AngloAsian  Welcome to FF 

Glad you've found the site and I hope you find all the friendship, advice and support that we can give  . Your not alone in having a thousand questions about your tx but as sky says this should all be addressed by your consultant before you start on your journey so that things go smoothly. In saying that, that doesn't stop us from fretting!!  

I'm going to post you a few links to help you navigate your way around the site. Don't feel restricted to these boards. Feel free to pop into any board you can contribute to and post.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

*The Mens Room ~ *CLICK HERE

Whilst you're here don't forget to kick back, relax and check out our fun forum where you can join in with general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area: 

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (*Wednesday at 8pm*), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

If you need any help please feel free to ask me or any member. Someone should be able to point you in the right direction.  

Wishing you every luck in your journey.   
Suzy


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya anglo

welcome  

i thought i would share abit about our journey.  dh was only 30 when he had his vas and then we went to see about getting the vas rev done when he was 33....at the time of the rev 1 sperm was found   we werent disheartened but when we (well, dh) did his first sperm test it came back as none     we then looked into mesa/pesa - which is like sperm retrieval - sadly neither found any sperm either. the consultants couldnt really explain why no sperm found, maybe the original dr who did the vas had done a really great job  ..... mind you, i suppose thats what the point was    

my dh didnt think the mesa/pesa's were that painful, yes, he was uncomfortable etc but nothing that he wouldnt have done again (if sperm had been found).  

i wish you and your dw all the luck in the world.  

love camly x x x x


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hello Anglo-Asian 

Warm welcome to FF . My DH is 14 years my senior and we have been on this fertility roller coaster for some time now. He had a VR after 10 years and we were told all fine and dandy. Lots of treatments later we found out that dh's sperm had 95% antibodies! Back to the drawing board and we are now doing ICSI. We have discussed together the various other options available if this doesn't work and would go down the donor sperm route or egg route if we needed to in the future.

I suppose what I am saying is stay open minded, you've got to try as if you didn't you would always be thinking what if.

There are lots of stories on here where sperm retrieval does work out  If you did try and it didn't work out for you another option to maybe consider is donor sperm, here's the link;

Donor sperm/eggs CLICK HERE

Wishing you and DW lots of luck   (apologies for girly fairy)

Louj


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi AngloAsian, just wanted to pop by and say hi and welcome to FF 

My Dh is 21 years older than me - he became a dad for the third time (first with me) at the age of 56 after 6 attempts of ICSI. We didn't have the same issues you do (see my sig for the short version or profile for the long one) but I can say, depsite a lot of pain and disappointment along the way it was all worth it in the end.
I know it's not easy when you get past a certain age to think about doing the whole parenthood thing all over again but there are definite advantages... wisdom, patience... to name but a few! 

I don't know a great deal about SSR but I do know that if you were looking for a reversal the longer you leave it the less chance the reversal would have of working so SSR is probably a much more sensible option for you right now. I also know they can do the most amazing things to find and retreive sperm these days - with that and ICSI, even with just a handful of sperm then there's a definite chance of success. Your DW's irregular cycles are fairly irrelevant once you start the IVF process because everything you do during tretament circumnavigates the woman's natural fertility cycle anyway. 
I can't reassure you that it won't hurt if it fails because, sadly, it will.  How hard that is to deal with very much depends on you, your DW and your attitude / personality and your own emotional make up. 
However I do think it helps to be realistic about the success rates and to plan for a course of treatments rather than see it as a one off attempt if you can. However many you decide you can handle doing (and afford if that's also an issue) will come into this. My DH and I decided right at the start to do 4 fresh cycles maximum and then any FETs (Frozen embryo transfers) if we were lucky enough to have enough embies to freeze from any of our cycles. So we did, in the end, use up all our 4 attempts and then some (2 FETs) but I'm by no means the norm (if there is such a thing in IF terms!  ). We survived and I learnt along the way that I was, emotionally, a lot stronger that I ever guessed I could be. I guess what I am trying to say is that it's the fear of the heartbreak _if_ if doesn't work ratehr than the actual heartbreak itself. No journey worth making is ever without trials along the way. 

Wishing you both all the best of luck! 

C~x


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## ctm (Sep 12, 2007)

Hi Angloasian,

As you can see from my sig, my dh is 26 years older than me 

He had a vasectomy about 10 / 11 years ago after his 2nd child from his previous marriage. We decided to go down the ICSI route as we were told a reversal would only give sucess rate of about 5-10%  My dh had to have the SSR and said he would do it again tomorrow! It didnt hurt and although a bit tender when we got home, it didnt stop him having to climb over stuff in my neighburs garage (she thought someone had broken in) so he was fine and back at work the following day.

We were lucky enough to find sperm and I think we got 7 vials in total. They can try the Pesa / Tesa and if that fails they can take a sample of testicular tissue which should hold sperm 

Unfortunately, if the ICSI does fail it is a very hard thing to deal with  I have been there 3 times now and this 3rd one has hit me the most 

As has been previously mentioned, your dw's cycle will be overridden by the tx anyway so her irregular periods shouldnt make a differrence.

Good luck with your treatment   If you need any further info on the ssr I will gladly tell you about it, just pm me or something!

Coz


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## AngloAsian (Nov 4, 2008)

WOW, what a lot of wonderful and reassuring replies. Thank you so much to all of you. It does help when you know that you're not alone. It's particularly encouraging to hear from couples who are in such a similar position age wise.

The consultant we saw earlier this week confirmed our thoughts that a reversal after over 30 years would have an extremely low chance of success. We'd gone there with the expectation that our only avenue was to use a donor, but we were shocked and delighted to be told about SSR (MESA/TESA/PESA) followed by ICSI . The success rates seem to be much higher than we could have hoped. 

We haven't been able to decide just how far we should go before deciding to give up if it comes to it. Money is a factor of course, but we always believe that if you want something enough you can find the wherewithal to get it. We're actually both still undecided as to how much we want this. We want a baby enough to try once, rather than spending the rest of our lives thinking if only. It we're lucky enough first time then it'll be fantastic, especially for my DW who doesn't have any family in this country. But even my DW seems to be having second thoughts right now. Watching programs on TV about disabled or unruly children has made her start to comment on how easy our life is right now, which it is. I still love her enough to go with whatever decision she makes and I know she'll be a fantastic mother. After all, she played a major part in bringing up her younger brothers under arduous conditions, and she's still great with all kids.

For now we're going to carry on - I think  . The consultant (at CARE's Peterborough branch) will by now have written to our GP to arrange for blood tests and a couple of other NHS tests - we're waiting to hear when they will be. Then it's only a short time until the next stage. I'll keep you posted on progress.

In the meantime I'm upping my exercise rate   and just been out to buy some pumkin seeds which I understand both help the little fellas become more active


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi again AngloAsian;

Just reading you latest post about how uncertain you feel about the whole process and I have to admit that I don't think there was ever a time during our journey that we didn't second-guess whether  to carry on... actually right up until the moment I went into labour I was still wondering if I was a bit ga ga to be doing all this but, you know the biological impreritive to have children is very strong.  
Wishing you loads of luck along the way. I know FF is mainly female here but I know there's some lovely blokes here too who mostly hang about in the Men's room so please do post, join in, and keep us up to date with your progress. 

C~x


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## AngloAsian (Nov 4, 2008)

Thanks Caz. I was worried that I was going to get lambasted by all you ladies for voicing our doubts   .... so it was a relief to hear your support. And now, after reading your profile (if you talk as much as you went into detail there then I'm surprised you have any time for sex!  ) I'm feeling a lot happier on this dreary wet day   Your funny but poignant story makes a good read.

I happen to have far more time to spend in places like this and researching the whole process than does my DW. So I'll be sharing some of her views but mainly mine along the way. Of course I have no hope of ever being able to understand you ladies, but it's good to chat


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

AngloAsian said:


> And now, after reading your profile (if you talk as much as you went into detail there then I'm surprised you have any time for sex! )


Oiy, cheeky!  

Or maybe that's what I was doing wrong all along.... hmm! 

Don't worry about trying to understand us ladies. If you haven't figured out by now that that is virtually impossible for _any_ man to do, then you still have a lot to learn about us lot! 
Seriously though, if you do have any questions about anything of need something explained, please don't hesitate to ask. There is, after all, no such thing as a stupid question. 

C~x


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## AngloAsian (Nov 4, 2008)

Caz said:


> Don't worry about trying to understand us ladies. If you haven't figured out by now that that is virtually impossible for _any_ man to do, then you still have a lot to learn about us lot!


Trust me Caz, I gave up trying to understand you lot a very long time ago!  But don't tell anyone, that's what makes you so interesting  All that Venus and Mars stuff is rubbish by the way - those two planets are in the same universe!


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## katedoll (Jun 3, 2007)

Hello AngloAsian
Just wanted to say welcome to this fantastic website.  It is great to see a bloke on here and I'm sure when you have some time, if you go into the Men's room/s you'll find lots of blokes will to talk and tell their stories and help with questions.
Just wanted to say that, although our issues are quite different you may be interested in some of the things we have found which I'm sure have helped with our   issues (antisperm antibodies is one of our problems).

We found my husband taking zinc and co-enzyme 10 supplements to be beneficial - looking over a couple of sperm sample analysis, the improvement was noticeable.  (I appreciate it may be other factors, but I believe that taking these have been a contributing factor).    Also keeping away from hot laptops on your lap etc.

Good luck and hope all goes well 

katedoll


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