# Auntie Katie Becomes a Mummy



## MummyAuntieKatie

I love reading the diaries on here and I thought it would be a good place to record our story for the future, so here goes:

DH and I met when we were both a lot younger (while I was at school with DH's sister) but didn't get together until 2004 (I was 32 and DH was 35), he had left the Navy and we were both ready to settle down.  We got married in 2007 and didn't think we wanted kids, but often talked of adopting as an option.  We didn't try to conceive, but I wasn't on the pill so we didn't try not to either, however nothing happened. We just decided perhaps we'd stay child free but something was niggling at us both.  We love our nieces and nephews, especially as they get older and start to grow up and I had a vision of kids coming home from Uni for a Sunday roast etc... A bit romantic I guess.  Over the years we have collected a small menagerie of animals.  I had a cat before I met OH, she's now about 12, we then got our first dog just after we moved in together then our pup a few years later, and more recently our rescue dog... We have a nice life and we wanted to share it. 

Anyway, we decided that with so many children out there needing good homes and us thinking of moving from the suburbs to a nice big house in a country village, well, perhaps we had the space, the time and the will to adopt.  I was looking at taking redundancy from my job and we thought we could afford for me to stay at home.  Decision was made, we booked into an open evening at our LA which was way back in October 2011...  Initially they didn't think they'd proceed with us as we were too close to their area (they like to place kids out of County) but we were in the process of moving house anyway, to the neighbouring County.  We were refused for the first prep course but applied again and were accepted on the next one...  We were lucky, it was an extra course put on as they had so many applicants. 

Our Prep was April 2012 and HS started quickly after that, we found it interesting, a bit draining but not too arduous, it helped that our SW is lovely.  We'd hoped to go to Panel in November but for some reason, numbers I think, it was delayed until February 2013.  We got a big fat yes! But how scary, the Panel members were not what I might call warm and welcoming, I thought I might pass out from nerves! But we did it, we had our YES for up to 3 kids of any age and we were ready for the long wait to find our forever children.  We saw our SW in March 2013 and she brought us a profile (completely out of the blue), which we really liked, as soon as I saw a pic I was hooked! He wasn't the sibling pair we'd hoped for but he was so perfect for us it was too good a chance to miss.  If I'm honest, I now realise that 1 might be best, whilst 2 would have been lovely I realise how much additional hard work it would have been.  She couldn't get hold of his SW for a few weeks and when she finally did we couldn't all get together until 1 May as we were away for a few days.

On May 1st we met Bluebird's SW, the Family Finding SW along with our SW. They liked us lots and went away to discuss. We were told they had all agreed we were a great match but had to have a meeting to formalise that, which was 15 May.  They formally agreed that we should proceed to Matching Panel, which was June 6 2013, that was another scary event (not as bad as Adoption Panel though!), we thought we were going to be deferred as they didn't have an updated CPR!!  However, they managed to get the information required from the SW's present and we were seen....  Apparently they loved us, thought we were very calm!! That'll be our interview techniques then!  Poor DH had got himself unsettled thinking we weren't going to be seen that day and had lost his focus a bit but I thought we both did brilliantly.  Our SW cried DURING panel, told us we had them eating out of their hands from the moment we opened our mouths and then when the Chair came to tell us they were recommended approving us to be Bluebird's parents I burst into tears, so did our SW, DH and the Chair! lol  

We had the ratification on the 14 June 2013 and the next day the lovely FC called for a chat, we were on the phone for over an hour, she's wonderful and now it feels real, it feels human, not all paperwork and SS!  I spoke to her again the other day and I heard my son giggling, omg it's infectious!  She (naughtily probably) called him over and said 'here, speak to mummy' and put him on the phone!! He just giggled but it was wonderful! 

So, introductions start on 27 June, but we are yet to see the draft plan... it's not as if we have to make any plans   but you get used to that on Planet Adoption don't you?  We are both so excited, DH is 43 and I told him about that study where they decided it's the age men finally grow up.  He's agreed, he said he's going to be a daddy so he has to grow up now.    Our son will be 2 years and 3 months old when he comes home, what a lovely age! 

Looking forward to adding to this story soon with how Intros go and what happens when we bring our son home for ever...


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## Handstitchedmum

A lovely story! I wish the next steps of my journey turn out as well as yours! Looking forward to the updates. I would've crumbled at hearing the giggles of my future little boy on the phone. Omg!   I lovelovelove 2 year olds!

As an aside:
Would love to hear about a study that shows men grow up. ;-)


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## MummyAuntieKatie

He had me giggling like a loon!  Was lovely, a very special moment. 

(I don't believe for one moment men grow up, ever, I think that the study was to give us poor women some hope...   )


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Lovely lovely post, and a special place to share all your thoughts and feelings from when you meet your little man.  It will be great to record intros and read back one day over that Sunday lunch


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## Wyxie

Lovely.


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## Sq9

Lovely to read


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## flickJ

So pleased everything has gone well and good luck with your intros   I am so glad you have found your special LO


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Love it can't wait for your intros x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

So, in the spirit of honesty, it's now only 3 sleeps until planning meeting and the day we meet our son and I am absolutely bricking it!  I'm starting to think 'what are we doing, can we do this, are we making the right decision, can we make this Bluebird happy, will we be happy'....  Last night I had a dream that Bluebird turned up at our house before we'd had the planning meeting, just out of the blue, no warning from SS they just dumped him on me (DH was at work)... Woke up feeling a bit sick...


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

What your feeling is natural honey I felt it before meeting lo. 

But once you meet your lo all your fears will melt away I promise. 

Not long now  xxxxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

I always think about how much I debated and worried about our decision to buy the house we are living in last year (stay with me I know that isn't a tiny bit comparable.) I thought is this right for us, will we like it there, is there a better house about to come onto the market, will there be loads of problems that we haven't noticed etc etc etc. This is despite the fact that the moment I walked through the front door it felt like my home which no other house apart from my childhood home ever has. 

Then I think how adoption is a million times bigger, more important, life changing and there is another human being involve, a beautiful vulnerable little one that is probably terrified beyond belief. I realise that if we didn't ask ourselves questions, doubt ourselves and question our situation at times we probably shouldn't be doing this. Thinking all of those things show that you are taking your commitment to Bluebird seriously and you want to get everything right. You will be an amazing Mummy Katie x x x x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

You are so right! We had the draft intro plan through today, looks very manageable, with only 2 really early starts from what I can tell.  Our Bluebird will be home for ever either Monday 8 July or Wednesday 10 July!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Fantastic news Katie so pleased x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Just had another call from FC, lovely chat!  She was telling me all about Bluebird's reaction to the DVD, how he says mummy and daddy and Nanan.  He also knows what's coming next and copies our movements, so when I raise both my hands to show him the conservatory he does the same, when Daddy says 'come inside' and makes a 'come here's sign he says 'come' and copies with is finger... Awwww!!!  His night time routine is up in the air, he's obviously understanding that something is happening and is unsettled by it.  

DH just got choked up when I left him a message about LO's talking to the DVD and then again when he told me work have done a presentation for him!  We have a card and £75 in John Lewis vouchers, aren't people lovely!  It's his last day before he's off for intros and settling in. 

Excited now, really excited, we meet our son tomorrow!!


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Awwwww that's so lovely. 

Enjoy every second tomorrow honey and I promise you will never forget the 1st time you meet your baby we still talk about it now. 
Lo had just woken up when we got there and after 5 mins adjusting to all the people there he crawled over to the sofa dh was sitting on and pulled himself up and said hiya!! Dh melted and he had us there and then  

Lo will soon adjust and routine will come back or you'll develop your own. Our lo never went to bed till late at FC but here he's down at the latest 8 and he's just started sleeping through too which is fab. 

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow and the rest of you lives eeeeaaaakkkkkk

Thinking of you honey xxxxxx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Oh my goodness you meet your son tomorrow   and you will have a magical time   your little bluebird sounds adorable and I teared up reading his reaction to your dvd. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now! Have the most amazing day   Love lolly xxxxx


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## Jacks girl

Auntie Katie - wow! Things are looking really great for you - that's so sweet about him copying your actions. Not long now - tomorrow whoop whoop  have an absolutely fab and amazing day hun xxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

It's finally here Katie. Bet you are bouncing off the walls and can't wait for tomorrow. x x x x x


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Thinking of you tomorrow honey xxxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Thank you lovely ladies!  I feel waves of excitement and sickness!    Feel like I might just go to bed in a minute and see if I can sleep at all!    Just want to go to my boy and hug him but know I have to be reserved!


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## Sq9

Enjoy every second.  He sounds fabulous xx


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## Handstitchedmum

Ah, the excitement and nerves! It's like Christmas and New Years had a baby holiday and named it "Intros" !!! ! I don't know how you will be able to sleep (and that is coming from someone who can fall asleep in under a minute). I'm excited for you!


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## Wyxie

Just popped on to say good luck!  I hope you have a wonderful day.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Didn't sleep very well, but better than I expected tbh!  Nervous for sure! Excited too, but OMG I'm scared!  Today we meet our sone for the first time!


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Good luck honey I'm thinking of you  

Xxxxxx


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## Jacks girl

Hope you have a super day today hun xxx


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## Handstitchedmum

Thinking of you; hope it goes well. Take pictures! Write down how you felt!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

You will have met your little Bluebird by now   have been thinking about you all day


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Oooooohhh, hope you have had a truly amazing day!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Shattered!  But very happy!    Planning Meeting was long and a bit boring, but we got through it and popped out to get some lunch, bought LO some summer hats and a polo shirt to go with the books we were taking and headed to the FC's.

When we got there he was asleep on the sofa (looking sooo cute!) then when his SW arrived he woke up but was grumpy, tired and overwhelmed by all the people.  But, he did keep peeking at us, obviously recognised us from the DVD!  Then, with iPad to keep him busy we managed to start engaging properly with him, I led on the floor helping him and he started to chat, ask me to press buttons, smile, sooo cute!  He stayed with me while DH and FC went to check out his bed, see if it would fit in the car etc and was quite happy.  He sat with DH for ages playing with the iPad, books and looking at his photo albums.  I think he loved the attention.  Liked his hats, kept swapping them around   then wanted to try on the T-shirt and let us take off the one he was wearing and put on the new one.  When it was time to leave he looked quite put out but was mollified with the bit of bread pudding we gave him  

It was lovely, tiring, emotional, special, amazing! He is so cute and so funny!  I am dying for the day we get cuddles and we're pretty sure he said 'daddy'.  He deff knew we were 'mummy' and 'daddy' from the DVD... Just lovely!


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## Primmer

Sounds like a magical visit with your lo


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Glad it went well try and get a good nights sleep x x x x


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## crazyspaniel

How lovely, so glad it went well   xx


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## Wyxie

So glad to hear it went well, it sounds like such a good start.  I'm sure things will move forward once he gets used to you, and doesn't have quite so many people staring at him.  I think in general kids that age find that sort of age tend to find that hard.

Looking forward to hearing how things go from here.  I'm not posting much at the moment, just knackered and busy, but still reading most of the things on here.


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

So happy it went well honey, enjoy tomorrow  xxxxx


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## Sq9

Just fabulous   xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Day 2 of Intros:  Well, another really positive day!  After we left yesterday Bluebird asked for the DVD of us to be played, which I took as a good sign that he's processing information.  He also went to bed at 7:30 which is unheard of at the moment!  

Today he looked surprised to see us again but only took him a couple of minutes to start playing.  We took strawberries which he loved and he spend a lot of time with my handbag and make-up!    Everything went well, and we could be more touchy feel today, he even let me swing him around when he jumped from a low table and DH picked him up to show him how high it was when you are 6 ft 4!  We blew raspberries on him as we were leaving and I even managed to get a kiss goodbye which was one up on yesterday!  

A little secret between you and me, we popped out to the local shop (literally over the road) for some chocolate and he didn't give the FC a backward glance!  He loves being outside.

Tomorrow we are due for 3 hours in the morning and Sunday we are going out for lunch with FC and to the park...  Monday is going to be a little testing as we have to be there for morning routine, so we'll be leaving here about 6:15am to be there for 7.  I don't think FC is any more of a morning person than I am so we just won't speak to each other...   

I'm shattered and I don't really know why, I guess it's not just physical fatigue but emotional overload too.  We've brought home some of his toys today and the conservatory is looking like a creche!    HSM, love the baby of Christmas and NY!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Ah sounds wonderful hun. So glad little bluebird is taking it in his stride. Enjoy tomorrow x x


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## Handstitchedmum

Thrilled for you! What an amazing time, watching and feeling your bond grow. Now that you have met, you can relax a bit and and let the flow of introductions take you forward. Get some rest!! It's a beautiful thing, people meeting and growing together!


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Loving the updates Katie, so lovely to see a snapshot of your new family life emerging   have a great day tomorrow!! XxX


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Day 3! We are moving a little ahead of schedule because sitting in a lounge staring at a 2 year old gets a bit strange!  So, we went with FC to Tesco to stock up on some bits she needed then to get shoes...  Against my better judgement I let DH choose, we now have red trainers with flashing heals!!  They sure won't go with much but hey, if both my boys are happy... (I'll go back next week and get the ones I liked!)    Then we had lunch, LO ate loads, let us help, fed us his chips and pinched mine!  DH took him out to the slider & played for a bit.  Bluebird deff looked for DH when he was about to climb up the slide, a really good sign.   He's been so good, when it was time to go he put his arms up for cuddles and kisses then had a little meltdown because we were leaving.  

We've got a lie in tomorrow, decided we'd go in a bit later, it gives FC time to sort herself out and us a little time at home, can't wait to see him.  He's cute, chatty, friendly, chilled (with the usual tantrums) and likes a rugby ball, we're very happy parents!! 

Funny thing I forgot about yesterday, FC's daughter brought out a packet of mini gems and asked me if Bluebird could have them... I was puzzled, why was she asking me?  Then it dawned on me, it's because I'm his mummy!!!!!!


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Awwww sounds like its going fab. I'm thrilled for you honey  

We had a similiar story to the mini gem one and that was FC passed dh a small pack of puff crisps to give lo one at time as he's only 10 months and after a little while I said to dh how many crisp has he had dh said almost the packet I then said no more he wont eat his tea and FC said he's never had that many before lol dh was waiting to be told by FC to stop he didn't realise she had passed the responsibility to him haha. 

It's such a funny feeling  

Have a wonderful day tomorrow xxxxxx


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## Wyxie

So glad things are going well for you.  It all sounds really positive.

Yes, it's odd isn't it, when you suddenly realise you're responsible for all the little decisions.  We didn't really have that with Wyxling during intros, f/c was very overbearing about food, but with Bladelet the f/c asked if it was OK for him to have some more crisps because I was giving Wyxling her snack and he gets upset when he sees food and isn't eating, but he'd already had a handful, as much as he was normally allowed.

I made the light shoe mistake as well.  I absolutely hate them, but let Wyxling try on two pairs and said she could choose which she liked best, without noticing the bright pink flashy lights in the back.  She liked them so much there was no way I could have said no at that point.  Tbh, I did soften on it a little bit over the coming months.  The novelty didn't wear off, she had them for 5 months before she outgrew them, and still loved showing people how they lit up when she jumped up and down.  It also kept her amused in the back of the car, wacking the side of them and then lighting up, the value of which simply can't be overstated!  Plus it's not long in life you can wear shoes with flashy lights on and have it be OK.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Fc sounds lovely which is good I think he's doing great as are you x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

FC got out a clean nappy today, didn't know whether to offer or not!! I didn't, she changed Bluebird and we just carried on chatting... Was useful to see how she handled him because he played up a bit (prob because we were there) and didn't want a bum change!  I guess tomorrow we might have to have a go ourselves as we are going to take him out and we'll be on our own... I've got to ask her how often she does it as a rule and when he's likely to poop!


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## Frangipanii

Lovely to read your special updates!! Brilliant stuff!
<3<3<3<3


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We're taking a picnic and going to the park today, just the 3 of us...     I'm taking my change bag and buggy!!  Hoorah!


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Yay enjoy it honey I couldn't wait to use my change bag now it's my handbag aswell lol xxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Day 4, and I am waiting for something to go wrong, it's all just going so well.  I know we can still have some bad times ahead but he's so lovely, he's taken to us wonderfully.  We went to the park today, took lunch, I sat on a blanket watching him run DH ragged!!  He went round a tree at one point, DH was behind him, but when he came out he expected to see me sat there and I wasn't because it was the wrong tree!  DH said he looked really upset and said 'Mummy?? Mummy??' until DH pointed me out to him and he ran over to find me...    Several big dogs ran up to us, one in particular was really fond of kids and Bluebird took it all in his stride, which makes me feel so much better about next Friday when he meets our three for the first time.  Also got big wet snogs today.. 

He fell asleep in the car on the way home so we went for a bit of a drive but I wanted to be near FC's house when he woke incase he was upset, he wasn't, was fine when he opened his eyes to Daddy lifting him out of the car. Still haven't changed a nappy!  We went to when we got back today but because he was just waking up it was a bit much so FC did it really quickly, we didn't want a meltdown after such a good day.  Will have to try again tomorrow! 

Early start in the morning, we're on an early morning stint so have to be there for 7!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Day 5!  Wowzer, another good day, we went round at 7 (too early for everyone!) and when Bluebird woke up I went and got him & brought him downstairs, he was perfectly happy with that, no problems.  We played for a bit & he was too distracted for his morning milk!  Then we changed his nappy and he had breakfast, well, he played with breakfast!  It's not natural having all these people there interrupting a boys morning routine! lol...  Then off we went to the Zoo!  Not that he was very interested, we could have been anywhere, all he wanted to do was run around or play in the park.  Took him home via large kids store and changed nappy again, few tears but he was just trying it on.  Got back to FC's house & woke him up getting him out of the car so he was a bit dopy!    Took him in and him & daddy played for a bit while I went to check out his clothes with FC.. We're gradually packing up all his stuff so that by 'home day' we'll have nearly everything here and the hand over can be really quick.  He cried when we left...   

Aparently he's been chanting 'dad-dee, dad-dee, dad-dee - mumm-ee, mumm-ee, mumm-ee!' copying FC's grandkids chanting about football!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Sounds like he is showing all the right signs of a well managed transition. You're all doing great x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Day 6: 
Today was the day that we were going to get to grips with little ones evening antics i.e. BATHTIME!!!!
Before that though we had a catch up with Bluebird's social worker to check on how things were going, she seemed happy, FC is happy, we are happy so looks like we'll be trying for coming home day Monday! 

Once she'd gone Daddy changed a nappy which he did very well, to my surprise, I think he's better at it than me!  We then went out for a bit of shopping (which kept me happy!!) and got something to eat. We ended up in Frankie & Benny's where we enjoyed a very happy meal in which we learnt a very valuable lesson. The colouring book provided is not enough to keep a 2 year old contented. Note to self, include additional toys for next visit.  Also, throwing things on the floor so Mummy has to keep picking them up is a great game guaranteed to give her indigestion! He wasn't being naughty by any stretch of the imagination but we certainly had to keep him happy when he got bored of colouring!!! We got him home a little before six where we got involved with bathtime. 

Wow, does that little lad like bathtime!! He was throwing himself into the water, getting a face full of bubbles and just wiping them away and then diving right back in. He was loving it.  Then I dried him off and put his nappy and PJ's on before we had some quiet book time and a snuggle on mummies lap watching some bedtime telly.
When we left we had tears again which is really hard to get used to.  We just want to bring him home and let him get used to living with us.
Anyway more tomorrow...watch this space. xxx


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## Wyxie

Sounds like things are going really well.  So pleased to hear that.  You must be so excited and relieved that the move is soon!

I have never found any toy that reliably keeps Wyxling entertained while out, and her normal interest in books is pretty much zero in a new environment, similarly colouring.  The only thing that ever works for me is us games, so playing pattercake, sitting her on my lap for a horsey ride, songs with actions, rolling something across the table (little pompoms are great for this, doesn't matter if they get lost) or, even better, giving her something that's meant to be mine to play with, no matter how little it is.  Colouring crayons will keep Wyxling entertained for a few minutes, a real grown up pencil with a sheet from my note pad on the other hand, will do her for a good 10-15, especially if I encourage her to "write" like Mummy does, write a shopping list, a letter etc.  Occasionally a stuffed toy helps, so that she can get the toy to do things like actions to songs, but really, all kids are different.  I see my friends kids sat happily with their favourite train or something similar, and dream!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Thanks Wyxie, tbh I think he's always happiest when he's running around... lol

Day 7 was yesterday, we went later than originally planned and apparently he'd been watching out of the window, when a car turned up but we didn't get out of it he wasn't a happy Bluebird!  We took him out to the park for a bit, he threw a strop because he wouldn't hold hands... lol, I love seeing him act like a typical 2 year old! Then we popped to Ikea for a quick pick up of a few bits and for lunch.  Poor B was tired, didn't eat loads and slept in the car on the way back to FC.  He had a couple more tantrums when Daddy went to put his bed in the car but let me cuddle him and tickle his back etc which he loves... Then another meltdown when we left... He's really playing up for FC now, slapped her a couple of times in temper yesterday and had a very unsettled night, his little mind must be trying to process everything that's going on.

We had today off, both slept so well and didn't get up until 9!!  You never believe intros can be so tiring until you are in them!  Phoned Bluebird for a chat and apparently his little face lit up when he heard DH's voice.  We've been cleaning and tidying ready for his first visit here with his FC tomorrow.  I can't wait, he has his water table waiting for him and his paddling pool ready to be inflated, weather forecast is good!   xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

How lovely outside with the padding pool in the sun tomorrow.  Enjoy.  Think he's doing really well and so are you.  Glad you've had a restful day x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Day 9: Today was the day. First encounter with the dogs, and I am here to tell all you avid readers that things went really well. Both K9 and kid didn't even bat an eyelid at each other. There was no issue when they barked, there was no problem when they got a little close (OK maybe not no problem but he just stood still until they were gone). The dogs paid no attention to Bluebird at all, apart from when Norty Spaniel No.1 (who else) nicked his chocolate cake right out of his hands. He was not impressed!!!

Anyway the day went better than we could have believed. FC was there in name only, if there was a problem then he would come to either DH or myself, which is just brilliant.

Bluebird had a bit of an explore around the house and every room was met with a "oh woah" cry. He seemed to like his bedroom but was especially taken but the bouncability (yes it is a word!!! now) of our bed.

Got the water table and paddling pool out and he was loving that. The water in the pool was a little cool to sit down in but perfectly fine within the water table so he just chucked that all over himself. Very funny!!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Gorgeous x x


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## Wyxie

Sounds like things are going brilliantly, really pleased for you!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I have to be honest, I am sick to death of the driving back and forth.  Bluebird was here again today, we did normal stuff, went to Tesco, he napped in the car for a bit, played in the garden, went to the park.  He won't eat much at the moment, he's had mainly fruit today so I don't relish tomorrows nappy.  It's possibly excitement, so much going on and the heat.  Had my first poopy nappy, blurgh!!  DH's turn next time! He had his bath here and got ready for bed then we had to take him back to the FC's so of course I sat in the back trying to keep him awake by singing silly songs and when we dropped him off he clung to DH and cried.     I know the SW's have done it all before but I really think we could have just put him to bed here tonight.  Anyway, one more day of back and forth and we bring him home for good on Monday!!

As much as I want the travelling to be over I am not looking forward to trying to get him to sleep on Monday night, his first time in his new bedroom...

I think it's going really well.  He's stubborn, grizzles when we say no, sulks a bit but comes out of it quickly, we can get him giggling.  He has sudden quiet periods where he seems to be reflecting on stuff, or he could just be pooping?? lol  I catch him watching us sometimes, processing the information perhaps?  Him and DH have the same gormless expression when they are watching TV and Bluebird thought it was a bit odd that his daddy's eyes were closed for so long watching Mr Tumble!!    He comes to us for comfort, likes to be snuggled like a baby after his bath, is happy to have his nappy changed and is absolutely comfortable with us taking care of him.  His recall is a little selective, we need to work on that, but he's quite good on lead!!  

For anyone with more knowledge on attachment, does all this sound good?  Normal?


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Sounds fab to me but I'm no expert. Driving must be a killer. So glad you can still make it to Tesco now your a Mum because we all know that you can't manage to do sooooooo many things once you're a parent   

One more sleep and Bluebird is home for life so happy for you xxxx


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## Sq9

1 more sleep   .  Sounds like it is all going really well xx


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## Frangipanii

Wow sounds perfect! One sleep to go! So happy for you, lovely lady! amazing Mummy Katie!!!!!!xxxx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

It's nearly the first day of the rest of your lives, and my goodness, it's gonna be good!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Aw he's such a darling!  We had another good day today although the only place he will nap is in the car, so we've been driving around like you would with a baby! lol... We took him back early tonight so that his FC can give him his tea and bath, she's going to miss him but is so happy that he's coming to us.    yet again when we dropped him off he clung to us and cried    Not to worry though because tomorrow we pick him up at 0930 and we are never taking him back!


----------



## GERTIE179

Fantastic!! Tomorrow is an exciting day x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Yey only 15 hours to go   x


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## -x-Lolly-x-




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## aaa is a MUMMY

Sounds just great. Take everyday as it comes and most of all enjoy mummy hood. Our bubba has been home for 18 months now and when I look back its amazing how far we have come. I remember the day sw said she wasn't a cuddly baby and then crying with my mum as I couldn't imagine not having huge cuddles. Well she certainly wasn't she would be held but never came in to us unless she was tired. She now gives the most awesome huggies and I melt with everyone.  She had me crying happy tears today when she stood in living room arms out and said I love you both family huggies mummy daddy. Sorry I waffle lol. What I am trying to say is there will be days when you are tearing your hair out but moments like that are why we have all fought so hard. 

Hope tomorrow goes smoothly take plenty of tissues it hits every single emotion again xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I know the lovely FC will be upset, she's so pleased he's got us but she's been very attached to him, it's going to be a fast handover, in and out Commando style! We've prepared ourselves for the hard days, but I'm so looking forward to all the good days too xxxx

Thank you all for being here, being non-judgemental and just being you.  You are all amazing mummies and daddies or mummies and daddies in waiting.  You are also very nice people and I am privileged to have 'met' you on planet adoption xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Katie its a special club to belong to and so rewarding. We did move at 4.00 as was decided at review that bubba needed to move early as driving backwards and forwards was really distressing her and totally unnecessary.  Was awful we had to stay at fc's all day waiting for a sw to come. The fc's own children were home from school seeing a whole family in pieces while we were so happy was truely awful. Having said that her main fc he still crys now when he sees her bless him.

SLEEP well tonight xx


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Yay tomorrow is the day, I'm so happy for you honey. 

Don't worry about getting him to sleep in his new room tomorrow night I stressed about that all day on our handover day and he went down no problems and slept through bless him, and he went down at 8pm which was unheard of and he goes down at 8 every night now. 

Thinking of you tomorrow honey

Big hugs xxxxxxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

36 mins x x


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## Rosie Ribbons

Hi 
Have followed ur Journey and I'm so excited for you both,i just want to send all the love in the world on the new journey with your little family 

Love and best wishes Katie xxx


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## Sq9

Hope there is lots of zzzz's coming from his room! And if not, there will be soon.  Enjoy the start of your lives together


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## sass30

I have cried reading this diary.  No one apart from those doing the adoption  journey will understand the emotional rollercoaster you go through.
    I am so lucky i have everyone on this forum as support and i pray we get a yes early next year at panel.
Enjoy every moment with him and all the best for the future


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Oh blimey! That was an interesting first night! He WOULD NOT go to sleep..  He usually falls asleep on the sofa with a bottle, but not only would he not fall asleep, he no longer wants a bottle!  In the end we sat up till 10 waiting for him to drop and eventually he did...  DH carried him up and I was asleep by half past 10!  He woke up once, at 12:30 and I shushed him back to sleep but unfortunately he was wide awake again by 5:45...  I understand completely, he's in a new house with new people and he's unsettled but I really really really hope that improves because I am absolutely useless without sleep! 

So that's it, our little Bluebird is home for good!  In the spirit of honesty that we like on this forum, I'm a little but overwhelmed, feeling a bit like 'what have we done?!' and a bit 'wow, we have our son home!!!'...  If we can get into a good bedtime routine and we can all sleep I will be much much happier! 

There I go, moaning already and he's only been home 5 minutes!  He's lovely, he ate his dinner really well after we ignored the minor strop he was trying to chuck.  Chomped into chicken, mushrooms and chorizo with pasta no problem.  

More later, at the moment the little monkey is about to jump off the arm of the sofa onto Spaniel No.2!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Hope you managed to rescue spaniel 2. You're doing great x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Shhhhh, he fell asleep at 7:35 and we took him up to bed around 7:50 to make sure he was sound asleep.  If we can get a good nights sleep tomorrow will be a much better day, we're both pretty dead on our feet.  Intros take it out of you (more than I ever expected) then you bring home a scared toddler who doesn't really know what's going on and it's pretty full on.  I'm going to take my own advice to Wyxie, am going to cut myself some slack, it's going to take time to get into a good routine and for it to feel natural, in the mean time we will grin and bear the hard stuff and enjoy the good stuff xx

The cutest development so far though, he keeps putting his face down to dog level so they will lick him!  If he's not doing that he's stroking their backs or trying to hug them.. I'm trying to discourage all of that without making him think he's being naughty, I don't want him to think it's ok to put his face that close but my dog it's cute! They are being very patient with him but he also has a habit of poking you in the eye, dogs too, that could be a disaster so we have stair gates all over and we are keeping them apart if we can't be right with him.


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## -x-Lolly-x-

You honestly sound to be doing so well. Glad you aren't beating yourself up, it will take time for you all to adjust and slowly introduce new routines and for him to settle.  But positive steps in such a short time are very encouraging, well done mummy   Congratulations on having your son home for good


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I'm so sorry, I've been so busy with the sleep thread I haven't got back here at all!

We are still having some good and bad nights when it comes to sleep, last night for instance I was up from 12:20-2:10 with an awake little boy tossing and turning in his bed refusing to sleep, and yet over the last weekend he had a couple of nights when he went right through from 7/8 until gone 6!

Apart from the sleeping we have seen such a huge improvement in BB.  He is visibly settling, everything is becoming more natural, easier.  Even tantrums are less severe.  He continues to learn new words and communicate better and he loves snuggles!  Lunchtime naps can be extended from under an hour to an hour and a half or more by mummy snuggling down with him when he wakes, he seems to really enjoy the close feeling.  

We are getting there.  I can't deny, it's hard, emotionally and physically.  We are both shattered all the time but I really think we are building good bonds.  BB eats really well too and is never happier than if he can run around and be active.  All the toys might as well not be here and TV is nothing to him.  I think he had it on all the time at FC so he's immune!  We have just started to find a couple of programmes he likes to watch which is great.  As much as we don't want to rely on TV as a babysitter it sure does help occasionally!!  

I'll try to update more often with the good stuff, it's too easy to rush here for help with the bad stuff I forget to remind everyone how good things can be too... 

Hugs everyone xxx

P.S. he now says mummy as well as daddy!! Hoorah!! 
P.P.S.  I get it wrong a lot too, I don't always react as I think I should and sometimes I find myself being the 'shouty' mummy I promised I would never be...    I guess we all have bad days but I am trying hard to correct that.  I don't want to be that type of parent!


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## Frangipanii

U sound like a wonderful mummy!!!! It is a pleasure to read. Congratulations. So happy for you lovely lady!  Xxxx


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## GERTIE179

Yeah AK!! Gosh your post sooo reminds me of our journey with out little man (who was also very attached to FCs). It is a journey and I agree I don't always get it right but we are human and can only do our best. Loving the sleep issue is getting there but also how much you are seeing the benefits if more sleep. We are not perfect with sleep but we do have weeks of 12hrs and the nights that he doesn't can be difficult as you think youve cracked it. I've resigned myself that this is where LO shows me his upset/generally and just go with it as our tactics work re getting back to sleep (well mostly).

You are doing amazing and BB loving snuggles is great. 

Hugs Gx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Everything is easier with a good sleep!  But I do almost enjoy it when he wakes at 6-6:30 and I go into his room because now, instead of crying because I was going in and shutting the gate (i.e. he wanted to come out) he now goes to sit on the sofa ready for me to lie down with him for a snuggle until 7.  I can't deal with a long morning that starts before 7 so we snuggle, chat, snooze until 7 if he wakes up from 5-6:45.  Anything before 5 gets treated as a MOTN wake up and it's back in bed...  He no longer looks to leave his bedroom at that time of night so routine really does work.

The lunchtime thing is dangerous! One day when he was still sleeping in the lounge (now all naps/sleeps are in his bedroom) I lead down with him after about an hours sleep as he'd woken up a bit early and we both dozed off, when I looked at my phone it was 3:20!!!!  Bad as it makes for a bad night but I never admitted the entire transgression to hubby! lol!! My boy sure loves that lunchtime cuddle.  Sometimes I open my eyes to see him staring back at me....


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## GERTIE179

Aww very sweet MAK (loving your amended name) x


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## Wyxie

I'm so very pleased to hear things have taken a big turn for the better.  It sounds like you're making really good progress all round.

It's amazing how when you have kids, a 6:30 wake up call suddenly feels like a wonderful lie in!  

Winter will almost certainly bring later sleeping.  Plus it's easier to convince them it's still night time.  I was going into Wyxling at 7:30 over Christmas break when hubby was off and giving her the "Oh, poor baby, what woke you up in the middle of the night, did you have a bad dream, there there, Mummy will tuck you back again, cuddle, kiss and see you in the morning", in and out in less than two minutes before she had time to think about it, and she'd go back for another hour or so.  Teehee.  

Doesn't work in summer!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well sleeping is sooooo much better!  As we now leave the room as soon as we settle him in bed rather than getting stuck on the sofa getting up at silly o'clock isn't so bad.  We stand outside his door and reassure him that it's night time and sleep time and only go back in if he won't settle, quickly reassure him and leave again.  None of this sitting on his sofa for hours trying to creep out when he falls asleep!  We can also call out 'it's not time to get up yet, go back to sleep' and we think he goes and lies on his sofa and chats to himself.  I've turned off the monitor too as I was on edge all the time listening for noises and one morning I turned it back on to hear him chatting away!  lol 

I actually slept until 7:40 the other morning after DH went to work!! Amazing!!  

We went for an appointment with the Thinking Allowed people (child psychologists) to chat about his behaviour, anything we were worried about and also how best to share his life story later on and were reassured to hear that all his behaviours are perfectly normal for a 2 year old and that we are doing really well!!! We have been advised that we don't require further appointments unless we feel we need them or things change.  

Despite everything we have been told I was also asked if I had considered a nursery a couple mornings a week as he seems to be attaching so well.  The very lovely SW told me it was as important for me to have a break as it was good for him to learn to mix more!!!  BB has only been home 2 months but he stayed with my friend while we went to the meeting, asked where we were a lot but didn't get upset and he now knows that if we leave him we come back too.  Things seem to really be going in the right direction!

I'm looking into preschool places to see what kind of waiting list there might be with a view to sending him one morning a week to test the waters in a month or two.  We were also offered the educational liaison to go into the nursery and talk to them about how best to deal with an adopted child before he starts.  Wow!  

Again, everything is so much better when we sleep!!!   

xxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Wow your agency sounds awesome x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, this could go one of two ways!!  Bluebird is upstairs and I think, after some kicking off, he is in his new big bed having his milk and story, we are hoping he likes it enough to ditch the sofa!!  We shall see!  The bed is where the sofa used to be and the sofa is still in the room but is against the wall where his old toddler bed used to be, we managed to arrange it all so that we didn't need to move any more furniture so less disruption!  Fingers crossed!!!!!!  

I really got the idea that he didn't like his old bed.  I don't suppose we'll ever know for sure, maybe it reminded him of his time in FC and he's seemed keen to ditch old associations, maybe it was too small and he does fidget a lot, who knows...?  Perhaps he just liked the idea of sleeping on the sofa and he can still do that if he likes, when winter comes we'll have to make sure the room is warm and perhaps that there is a blanket on there in case he still gets out of bed...

Tonight could be interesting!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well will wonders never cease!?  BB slept really well in his new big bed, never looked to go to the sofa once DH got him to realise he was going to read to him and give him his milk all in the lovely new bed!  Played around a bit, every time DH left the room BB got up, DH went back in, BB ran back to his bed... that went on about 10 times but the last 3 times DH looked back in BB was in bed!!  I checked when we went up at around 10:15 and he was sound asleep in his bed all tucked up under his feather duvet! He did wake up once, at 4am, but DH went in, lead him back down (he wasn't out of bed, bonus) and left with no fuss.  BB then slept until 7 and even stayed in bed an extra half an hour chatting when I told him it was too early....   

I have just taken him up for his nap and he's gone to sleep in his bed at lunch time for the first time ever!!!    Looks like anther breakthrough!  

Next step will be to get him to go up, have his story and milk and let us leave without any fuss... that might take a little longer but I think we are on the right track for sure!!


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## gettina

Feels like a well done on having and following your instincts is in order mak.
Long may the good sleeping and napping continue.
It's lovely to hear from you and even better to read that life with BB seems to be suiting all of you very well. 
Gettina x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Glad he's loving the new bed x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We had a truly awful afternoon yesterday, BIL, SIL and cousins came to visit so BIL could help DH service the car and change brakes.  Of course this meant DH was here but not available so cue huge tantrums and tears and generally awful behaviour from BB!  I nearly had a tearful meltdown but things improved when DH took BB to get fish and chips!!  Once they got back he was the lovely boy we know he can be!  Today he's been generally great until he got tired this evening but he went to bed well again which is always a bonus!  Can't really complain!  Last night he slept for a good 12 hours with no wake-ups, at least none that required our intervention!  Whoop!

Spoke to FC today, we had a good catch up and she's as pleased as we are that things are settling down.  She agrees that Bluebird might benefit from a nursery or pre-school and I'm really keen to try him at one one or two mornings a week, I think it will do us both the world of good!!  

I've planned in some nice activities for the week ahead so we can keep busy when DH is at work.  Knowing I might not have to get up until 7:30 is a huge bonus.  Every day things get a little easier.  We are 7 weeks post placement and I have to admit, I don't love BB yet, but I do care very much for him and my feelings are growing day to day.  Sometimes though a 2 year 4 month old boy just pushes your buttons!!!  lol!!  We are growing together as a family in very positive ways and I can see the future is bright.  

DH was keen to try potty training but I thought it was too soon... tonight he's given up on the idea much to my relief! That's a job for a few months time I think.

Hope you are all well xxx


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## katie c

MummyAuntieKatie said:


> We are 7 weeks post placement and I have to admit, I don't love BB yet, but I do care very much for him and my feelings are growing day to day.


you don't know how glad I am to read that, if it doesn't sound too awful. 

i read on here all the time about how 'in love' with their LOs people are, and thought I was bit of a cold fish for not feeling that way after four days. 

i do feel unbelievably protective of our son though, and I am sure it'll happen. I just expected some sort of instant connection and thought I was a bit odd.


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## GERTIE179

Katie C - ours was a slow burner too. Incredibly protective & committed but difficult intros & behaviour plus tiredness made it difficult to feel love so soon for all of us. It crept up onus and a few months in, I knew I was completely in love with my little man. Hope the helps x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I'm a slow burner anyhow, took me longer to fall in love with DH than him with me, but I know we'll get there in the end! I'm not a big fan of babies and toddlers tbh, being matched with a child who was 2 years and 3 months took me by surprise and it's really hard work.  I think my love will grow as our time together is longer and as BB grows, especially when we can talk to each other more.  Realistically I think it's absolutely normal to take time to fall for your LO and you just need to be honest with yourself and not beat yourself up.

So, today was a really good day! BB slept all night until half 7 then opened his door and went back to bed to chat to himself until I went in at 8! Perfect!  Then we went to Toddlers over the road and met new friends, I've got the number of another lady in the village with a 3 year old who is keen to have play dates, BB was pretty well behaved!  We went shopping after his nap, took Nana to get a new vacuum and a TV unit and he was good as gold in his buggy, didn't complain the whole time we were out, not even when we stopped in Tesco on the way home.  In fact the only issue we had was a bit of bad behaviour at tea time (no doubt he was hank marvin!) and when he didn't want to stop playing in the garden to go up for his bath and bed.  He went to sleep in really good time, DH didn't hang about and only had to go back in a couple times to tell him it really was bed time!  The dogs seem to have woken him up when I popped out but he went straight back down so am hoping for a good night again 

The best part of the day thought could have been the fact my wee boy waited until his Daddy got home to do a massive stinky poop! Good days make me love my little Bluebird a little more...


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Ah lovely gosh you are efficient what a lot to get done in a day x x


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## Frangipanii

Loving the poo story. ..how funny!!  Sounds like your family is working like oiled cogs. Be weird if there were no tantrums or blips I suppose regardless of adoption! Lovely to read!! ♥


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## Wyxie

So glad to read that things are improving.  Sometimes, I think "normal" trantrums are a good thing.  I said this to one of the people involved with Wyxling today.  I find her "tantrums", which are relatively few actually, to be incredibly reassuring.  In fact some normal proper I didn't get my way screaming is normally a sign that Wyxling is doing well.  The thing I find hard is the underlying defiance, stubborness, and very calm way she will walk up and hurt when she's not getting what she wants.  The rages come when that's prevented, and that's really different.  I find that impossible to explain to most people.

I think the love is something that comes when you're not expecting it, and then something happens which suddenly makes you realise it's there.  Relationships take time to build, even if one party is a child.

I felt a real instant connection with Wyxling, and I loved her completely and absolutely from the very start.  I can't really say why, there's just something about her that got me.  Bladelet I felt a huge amount of for when I first met him, but on reflection I think that was largely because of his resemblance to Wyxling and my hopes for a Wyxling who hadn't been as damaged by earlier experiences.  In reality he's really quite different in personality and that's probably a good thing!  He's a beautiful, lovely, smiley baby whose incredibly rewarding to spend time with, but I just didn't feel the same thing for him as when I met Wyxling.  It's coming with time, and I think and hope I treat them equally.  I find it odd.  Bladelet is probably everyone's dream baby to have placed.  He can be needy and fractious at times, but I think without the complication of an older sibling that would be reduced - he's not used to sharing a Mummy either - and he's really great fun to be with a lot of the time.  He loves affection and cuddles and he's really snuggly and smiley.  Wyxling is incredibly difficult in so many ways, and I have struggled so much with her, but there's just something that reaches out to me.  I think that would probably say a lot about me if I were to let myself analyse it more.  I try not to think about it too much, or compare how I feel about my children, because there's an inevitable guilt attached to that.  I do love Bladelet, and I did as soon as we met him, but I think part of that was an idea rather than the reality, and as I get to know him better the love is still growing but also changing.  I think it's tested more because I'm trying to do a balancing act between our children and I know that my instinct is to prioritise Wyxling.  In reality it's actually beneficial to both children that I do deal with her ups and downs quickly, because otherwise it takes a lot more away from Bladelet, but that thought process is something I find I have to really force myself to go through, and I do question myself a lot.

Wyxie xx


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

I do think that the lack of sleep and tantrums really affected our bonding, things are certainly getting better!  

We had a nightmare today, not with BB but with SS!  FFS!  We had an appointment for his medical so had to drive quite a way to where the Adoption Doc was based, got there and were told she would come to get us... waited half an hour and nothing so eventually the bank nurse went looking for her.  Only to discover she doesn't work Mondays and we've been given the wrong day!  So that was the journey and DH taking another day off work for nothing.  The appointment is tomorrow but neither of us are willing/able to rearrange our days again so they will have to re-book!  So annoyed!  DH is self employed so every day he takes off costs us money.  Grrr!   

BB is getting more cheeky by the day but night times are in to a really good routine.  Bath, bed, milk, story, lights out.  Maybe a couple of times DH has to go back in to put him back into his bed but that's it.  Last night he woke at 1:30am and was at the bottom of his bed stood crying, so I picked him up, gave him a quick cuddle just to sooth him & put him back to bed.  No fuss, walked out and that was the last we heard until almost 8am! Great!  His language is coming along too, we are starting to notice some real progress.  Long may this trend continue!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

BB is doing amazing he has come so far in such a short time.  So sorry about the appointment what a nightmare.  Note to SS 2 year olds hate sitting about in hospitals and so do their parents x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Had no reply from BB's SW all day.  Hope someone tells the Doc we aren't going to be there tomorrow morning or tables will be turned and she'll be waiting for us to arrive.    I do wonder if anyone thinks of us at all, sees everyone thinks we can just drop everything as and when required, that was hard enough before placement, even harder now with a toddler in tow! 

Anyhow, BB has now been home for 8 weeks today!  Happy 2nd month anniversary son!    Times were tough but it's getting easier every day and our love for you grows as your cheeky nature and personality grows and your trust in us develops.  Best thing at the moment?  He's learned to call for us, so now shouts "Dadeeeee', Mummeeee', 'Nannaaaaaa!!!'  lol! Daddy is still favourite person in this house of course.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We've had a couple of really good days, helped by 2 nights of BB sleeping through for 12 hours!  I think he's catching up!  He also has a nap at lunch time and today was a good hours and a half (I know, I'm sleep obsessed!).

He's so much happier, his speech is really improving, he can amuse himself now for a while if I am busy, like today while the Health Visitor was here.  He's becoming such an independent little man!  Tonight I made him a cup of cold milk for bed, he's been going off his warm bedtime drink and HV encouraged us to get him to drink more.  DH said he threw the sippy cup at him and said 'yuk, cold!'... Cheeky!! 

Also, to discourage whinging or crying for attention I've been trying to get him to ask for help, so now I get 'mummy help' instead of a whine!  Such a better situation.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, we've had our son home for just over 3 months and things are just getting better and better!  He sleeps most nights from 7/7:30 for 12 hours!  Occasionally we have to go in to settle him if he wakes but we are in and out in moments. He is getting better as not creating for Dh although he does still demand his attention when he's home on weekends!  We can visibly see he has settled more and more as the weeks have passed and his speech is coming along every day.  

Today has been a lovely day!  I had my usual Sunday lie in while DH took BB to the tip (not to drop him off) to empty the old shed and begin to dismantle it.  BB has pushed his toy wheelbarrow around the garden coping DH most of the day and been lovely!  He spent an awful lot of time with a toy car on the wooden 'ramp' DH laid against the patio to make it easier to get his wheelbarrow in and out etc...  Then SiL, BiL and the cousins came for a cup of tea and he had a whale of a time being pushed around in the barrow and trying to climb on the dismantled roof of the old shed.  A proper boys day in the garden and it was lovely to see.  Tonight we went out for tea to the local Hungry Horse with Nana and BB got lost in the soft play until Daddy went to rescue him but was so shattered he let me put him to bed with no fuss at all!  Asleep in moments.  This late winter sun was a bonus for sure.

Some Tuesday mornings Nana has taken BB to toddlers and given me the morning off, that's been lovely too, just a bit of me time!  It's also a miracle that I can leave him in his bedroom to play while I shower.  I get him set up with his toys, give him a kiss and get a thumbs up then shout back to calls of 'mummy? mummy?' that either 'I'm in the shower!!' or 'I'm having a poo!!'... lol!!! xx

It's going well ladies and gents and I think tomorrow I may ask the SW's for the paperwork to apply for the adoption order...    I think it's time to cut ties with SS and move on as a proper little family.


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## GERTIE179

Aww MAK that's just wonderful to read how your little family is coming on x


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## Wyxie

That's wonderful to read.  It sounds like things are going really well.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Fantastic you knew that boy was was the one the moment you saw him so get that paper work sorted x x


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## -x-Lolly-x-

What a picture perfect family scene


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Emailed our SW to ask for the forms to apply for AO, she phoned to point me to Courts website, basically, we are clever people, we can just get on with it...    She also disapproved of my plan for nursery in December but she's not seen BB for over 3 months.    No contact at all from BB's SW for a month.    Hey ho, good job we're doing ok...  

We had a lovely family lunch out today with the 3 of us, my cousin and his wife, my aunt and uncle and Nana. We've been introducing people in small increments ahead of a big family do next Sunday at our house.  Went to local fishing lakes in the village which have a restaurant that does roasts and we were the last customers of the day.  The people that run it were thrilled to meet BB and charmed by him no end, dished him up a lovely kids roast.  He didn't eat loads as played to the crowd but we all had a lovely time.  He missed his nap today, eek!  Just refused to sleep although did lie in bed chatting for ages.  Last night we'd been out for a meal with my best friend and her family for her daughter's 16th and he had a late night and a bit of a lie in so guess he was just resetting his body clock but it all went very well. He's really come out if himself, wants to chat to people.  Loves my uncle no end and wants him to play.  Today as DH took him to drop Nana back to the station (she's sleeping at my bro's for a few nights to cat sit) BB returned my blown kiss with one if his own, first time ever!    He keeps coming out with new words and phrases and taking us by surprise.

To be fair, yesterday was an awful day generally until we went out for tea.  DH had gone for drinks with some old colleagues he's reconnected with so BB didn't see him at all and I put him to bed, I think he was playing up because he was unsettled by Daddy not coming home for tea, bath and bedtime.    But hey, we all have bad days, followed hopefully by a really good day.


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## Wyxie

Glad to hear things are going well.  It really does sound like BB has made huge progress in a really short time, you must be doing a brilliant job with him to turn things around so quickly after a really tough start with the not sleeping!

BB's SW is being naughty.  They're legally obliged to physically see him every 6 weeks maximum while he's looked after, but it doesn't sound like you're missing their presence so I'd keep quiet if all's well!

Breaks in routine and people not coming home when expected are huge for our children sometimes.  Wyxling really struggles.  I remember when we did the prep, one of the comments made by one of the SW's was "you can't be late for our children".  I didn't really think much of it at the time, but it stuck with me, and when we had Wyxling placed I really understood how completely true that is.  The first day I picked her up from nursery I was about a minute, maybe 2, after the first Mums turned up, because she was in a different room from where I'd left her, and I had to get someone to tell me where to go.  I've never seen her look so scared in her life, poor little thing.  She really struggles when hubby has the odd late night at work, even now.  Fall out from lack of routine is normal too, if we have a busy hectic day or two, the day after when it's just us she'll be all over the place.  It has got better over time, but it's a slow process!

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

BB has been a dream the last few days!  We had a big family gathering on Sunday, all my cousins came and my brother & his Mrs, my aunt and uncle and obviously mum was here.  He was lovely, he and my cousin's LO got on really well (even though she's not keen on boys and is little Miss bossy boots at 3 years old lol) and they managed a lovely bath together.  Since then he's settled back into a good routine and last night bath and bed were remarkable stress free.  Today he's played in the garden this afternoon while DH and I built a shed.  He's so happy, much fewer tantrums or attention crying for Dh too.  Helped by the fact DH has been home a few extra days with a bad chest.  

We have our next LAC review on Friday, at which point we hope to get the Adoption forms checked over and submitted.  I'd love to get his AO sorted ASAP so that we can get his passport and try to visit my dad in Spain in the spring, around BB's 3rd birthday  

You can see how much he is coming out of his shell, he's much more sociable, he repeats everything you say and his speech is generally really coming along.  It's going well, after a hard start things are SO much better I can't tell you.  I wish I was as good at writing this stuff as Wyxie, then I could give you a better picture.  

The hardest part I find is second guessing behaviour all the time, when you haven't had a child since birth I think it's harder to accept that some things are 'just the way he is' or 'normal for his age' rather than trying to work out if it's to do with previous loss or his displacement since leaving FC etc.  Generally I think he's doing really rather well and I'm very proud of him.  

ETA: I can hear DH and BB upstairs and BB is saying 'teeth then bed, yah, teeth then bed'  Dh is saying 'dressed first?' 'Yeah, dwessed'.  then we've got 'buuum up, buuum down' for having his nappy on and they are chatting about what he had for his tea.  BB's is saying 'yogat, straaaaawbrees, boobrees'… Giggling his head off.  So cute!  So much nicer than crying at everything and fighting with DH because he doesn't want to go to bed yet…    Ooh, little whinge then because he didn't want "Bear Hunt" he'd rather have a Thomas story… I love that he cares what is read to him, that's new.


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## SummerTilly

MAK that sounds so lovely - thanks for sharing about the chatter between your BB and DH - it's really heartwarming to read and to know how quickly he is developing. 

And the great thing is that he knows that he is safe to exercise the power of choice with you both as to what his bedtime story will be. 

Thanks again   so pleased for you x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Ah MAK love the updates always wonder how you and BB are getting on. He sounds a right treasure. He has developed so much family life sounds hard work but great. Can't wait to here the AO paper work is in x x x


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## Sq9

Sounds like you are all settling into life as a family so well.  The hard work has definitely paid off


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We had our LAC review today with BB's SW and the IRO, both were very happy with his progress and we handed his SW the Adoption Application forms..   We're hoping they get submitted quickly and we can get the AO issued ASAP. Then we can apply for BB's passport and go and visit Grampy in Spain!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Brilliant news hope the courts are efficient.  A holiday in Spain sounds ideal x x


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## Lizard39

Just had to say...LOVE your new profile picture MAK x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I wish I could show him off properly! He's a little stunner lol!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

You can tell the hat doesn't hide that, gorgeous x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Proud Mommy Alert!:  Our little BlueBird has been asked to lay the Children's Remembrance wreath at the village war memorial on Sunday. Aw bless him, how cute will he be??  His Daddy will be so proud as he was in the Navy for very many years and served in many conflicts.


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Yay that's fantastic very very proud mummy and daddy moment. 

Well done bluebird xxx


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## GERTIE179

Aww that's just so awesome - proud mummy x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

That's lovely mak he's just going from strength to strength x x


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## -x-Lolly-x-

How lovely   Tissues at the ready!


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## Wyxie

I love reading about how well things are going now, just wonderful to know that everything's coming together for you all.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, today at Toddler group we had a new behaviour and I'd appreciate views?  I took it as a positive but what do I know??

I was holding a lovely chunky baby while his mum signed a card and BB was not happy, pointed at the baby then at his mummy and said 'BABY!'  He did this twice, I was a little confused but it became obvious that he didn't want me to hold the baby and I had to give it back to it's mummy, when I didn't do that right away he stropped off and cried at the other side of the room!  I went to get him, picked him up and cradled him like a baby while he snuggled in and explained that he was my baby and I was only holding R while his mummy was busy.   

I guess he's just showing pretty normal behaviour, I'm his mummy and he doesn't want to share me?


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## GERTIE179

Hey AK - I would say its quite normal as he's just processing his feelings and claiming you. I've had that a lot from my lil guy - he's ok with me now holding babies but he has to be close or on my knee. If my friends LO is at toddlers I know tend to have 2 x two years olds hanging off me - well I always wanted twins lol. 

For what it's worth my friend has two close in age and the eldest did similar behaviours when baby came home. Very jealous type behaviour. Think it's very common.
X


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Totally normal my sisters little boy went through a real phase of that and she asked health visitor about it.  Health visitor said seeing you holding another  baby is like walking in on your husband with another woman in terms of jealousy for them.  Sounds like you handled it perfect and bb has great attachment to me x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Ladies and Gents, the day finally came!  Yesterday we had the Adoption Order granted!!  BB is ours for real and for ever, no more SW's visits unless we invite them, LAC review was cancelled as it's no longer relevant.  We are just waiting to hear when the Celebration Hearing will be.    It's almost 6 months to the day that BB came home so that doesn't sound like a very long time really, the courts seem to be able to work quickly sometimes!  

His BF had given notice that he would apply for leave to appeal against the grant of the order however he pulled out at the last minute.  He had absolutely no hope of success so either someone talked him out of it or he found out there was no legal aid and he's have to find the money/transport to court, write his own statements etc.  

Anyway, our little boy is 100% officially ours, Happy New Year Bluebird, you've found your forever home xxx


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## crazyspaniel

Ah MAK, you've brought tears to my eyes - how lovely xx


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Wonderful, a million congratulations, I needed cheering up and this has put the biggest smile on my face


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## MummyAuntieKatie

It feels so odd, he's always been ours, from the day we met him but somehow this does feel different, despite me thinking it wouldn't.  He's ours, no one can take him away or tell us what to do.  We have complete control, we can say what BP's get told or don't, we are his parents now.  I'm looking forward to the celebration hearing!  

Thanks ladies, I really wanted to share this news with everyone, to show how it can all happen and not in such a huge amount of time either.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Absolutely amazing news what a fantastic way to start the year x x x


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## Wyxie

Congratulations, and wow, so quick!  Bladelet was home before BB and his SW hasn't even completed her bit of the paperwork for the application yet!

I'm sure you will all enjoy the celebration hearing, and yes, it is wonderful to say goodbye to Social Services!

Wyxie xx


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## GERTIE179

Excellent news - congrats to the Bluebird family  x x


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## Sq9

Fabulous news. Congratulations on being an amazing forever family


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## gettina

Wonderful MAK! Lovely for all of you. 
Can't wait till we are in your position (littley is relinquished so until we have the order his BPs could just change their minds). 
It think it's like marriage -it shouldn't particularly feel different (unless religious) and yet - it feels extra cosy.

Look forward to hearing about the celebration.
Good work from the social workers!

Love Gettina x


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## Flash123

MAK goosebump time. What a wonderful start to 2014. Congrats to you all in the bluebird house xxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

gettina said:


> It think it's like marriage -it shouldn't particularly feel different (unless religious) and yet - it feels extra cosy.


I love that, thank you, it's just exactly how I'm feeling! Good luck with yours, sounds extra scary with the not knowing what the BP's might do!  I was told that in France, unless the BP's agree, the adopting can never be made official! Limbo land all the time, that sounds awful xxx

The BB house is extra 'cosy' thank you Flash, it's a comfy feeling&#8230;


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## MummyAuntieKatie

BB went to nursery for the first time today!  He's been home almost exactly 6 months.  We didn't so the taster as planned and he stayed for the whole morning including lunch.  There were a few tears but he was easily distracted apparently, had some banana for break and pasta and flapjack for lunch which he did fairly well with.  I got there just after they finished lunch and he didn't see me at first, carried on playing, then cried and said 'mummy shop' and 'mummy wet' as I'd got caught in the rain and they had told him I'd gone to do some shopping… Generally it went ok, when he got over his tears he was quite into showing me what he'd been doing, telling me all about the scooter in the garden.  He had a great sleep lunchtime, was shattered and although we had to go up a few times to reassure him tonight he wasn't really upset, just wanted attention and I think to be sure we were there…  I've told him he's going back to play again on Thursday but I don't think he understand and I expect more difficult behaviour when he realises he's going back but I really think he'll settle well.   

As luck would have it his new wooden garage turned up today from the ELC sale so I told him it was a present because he was such a good boy going to nursery and being so well behaved.  Fingers crossed that helped but I hope he doesn't think he's getting a present every week!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Glad he's got on so well x x


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## GERTIE179

Excellent MAK - sounds it went as well as it could've gone. Is it two mornings bluebird will be going or more? Were just starting to take this step and have had quite a few stay & play sessions but move on to settling sessions shortly. X


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## MummyAuntieKatie

He's going 2 mornings a week, Mon/Thurs to start with, incl lunch. In 3 months or so, when he's 3, we might increase that but will wait & see how it goes. He won't do full days until he stops his lunchtime nap and that shows no signs of stopping yet!! Lol.


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## GERTIE179

That's great - that's kinda our plan too. Ideally I would d waited another 3mths but work etc just couldn't wait. He'll spend time with granny & grandpa too so the 2morns was to see if he could cope and adjust everything else as necessary. Fingers crossed were getting there.
X


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, nursery is going quite well   He's much happier although still has a little cry as I go to leave, but he eats his snacks and lunch and has a nice time and is quite happy when I pick him up.  He always says 'mummy came back!'  and I reply 'mummy will always come back'... lol    If you ask him what he did at nursery he usually starts with 'cry, miss mummy' but that's just a stock response now, little toad!  

We have our Celebration Hearing fixed for the week after next and that's it, we will be applying for a passport and his flights to Spain to visit Grampy are all booked!  It will have taken 2 years and 4 months from our first introduction evening to having our Celebration Hearing. Phew!!!  When he gives us kisses then throws his arms round our necks it's obvious that it's all been worth it...  Mind you, when he's checking a major tantrum I question the sanity in wanting kids at all!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Great news mak glad the celebration hearing and holiday are booked in x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We have had the most amazing day.  Today was BB's celebration hearing at the family court and it was just lovely.  The judge has known of our son since he was 5 months old (he's now almost 3) and has seen his story through from the start.  He was great, we had a very lovely hearing in which he asked lots of very pertinent questions that showed he'd read all the paperwork and was just lovely the whole way through, we had family and friends there, BB and I got to sit in the Judge's chair and have pics taken, then all our family and friends joined us for pics too. BB got to wear the Judge's wig and ran riot around the court.  Then we all went for lunch and had a party tea at ours this evening.

It has been the most perfect 'end' to the adoption part of our family life and now we begin the rest of our lives together.  Thank you all for sharing it with us.  If I could post a pic of the happy family I would of course, and I really do wish I could share that with you all. 

Love
Happy Mummy Katie xxx


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## crazyspaniel

How lovely xx brought a tear to my eye!!


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## -x-Lolly-x-

Beautiful post  congratulations Bluebird family   just perfect


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## gettina

Thrilled for you MAK and family. Xxx
Gettina


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Amazing news mak can't wait to get to that stage.  Glad it was a wonderful day for you all x x


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## Sq9

Just fabulous


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Oh goodness!  I've just found this again and spent a lovely morning reading back through it all!  reminded me what lovely people you all are! xx


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