# Why are they pregnant and not me? *UPDATED* ~



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

Hi Everyone,

So, this is my first post.  (and a bit of a rant)

My DH and I have been TTC for 3 years now and together almost 10.  I guess joining this group is my first step to accepting our infertility.

My tag was going to be "it CAN'T happen to me" because, probably as many of you, in my younger years thought infertility would never happen to me.  But now, I am starting to accept that it can happen to me - and it has.

The big SHOCKER was when I got news that my BIL and his Girlfriend, which haven't even been together since we were married (4 years ago) found out she pregnant.  I took the news really, really bad.  Thankfully, I didn't hear the news from them, but it was through my in laws, and I was VERY UPSET.  I want to be the one that's pregnant!!!  

Is this feeling normal?  Am I wrong to feel this way??

This Sucks -

Anyways, just wanted to say HI, Ill be a regular poster here soon enough.


----------



## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hiya, 

Welcome to FF.  

You are feeling completely normal.  Its incredibly difficult to hear about other people being pregnant (especially friends and family), when we want to be pregnant ourselves.  I'm sure most of the girls on here know how you are feeling (including myself!).

Have you had any treatment?  Theres loads of information on here and the girls (and lads!) are fab.  hope it helps you.  take care, 

Tracy xx


----------



## gingerbreadgirl (Mar 31, 2007)

Hi
I just joined FF too. Thought it might be a good idea after i broke down at work and sobbed like a fool to a colleague i dont even like (!) after i found out a girl that used to be my friend had had a baby. I was inconsolable for days, but am feeling a little less sad and a bit more positive now thank god! In my experience it was completely normal how you reacted - well, normal for a person with fertility issues at any rate. Try not to accept your infertility as final - we must all try to keep positive. You will feel better about this in a few days I'm sure of it. Take it easy xxx


----------



## **Jenna** (Jan 11, 2005)

Hi,
Welcome hun,  
You've come to the right place to have plenty of support off people who understand.
The way your feeling is normal hun. hope your ok! It is hard its happened twice with me both sil getting pregnant. 1 had her baby last week there's only a month between them it does get easier but u will have your down days.
hope u get to feel better soon  
Jenna xx


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

Thanks everyone for your quick reply.


Besides my mother (and now my in laws) no one even knows we've been TTC.  It should be obvious, but we have never told anyone that we are going to a fertility clinic, and are so far unsuccessul at making a baby.

So coming out, and saying this to people is quite difficult.  I don't think I could tell family and friends.  We feel like failures, so it's easier to say nothing. (wow, what a downer I am)

Anyway, like everything else some days will be harder than others.

I think this will be the uplift I need.

Thanks again.


----------



## babycrazy (Mar 17, 2006)

Hi
I was always the first to visit a newly pregnant couple, to express my happiness for them, always the 1st person to visit friends and relatives with a new arrival, with the best present and card, so excited for them and for me to cradle a new baby
This was until i suffered 2 MC in 6mths and then nothing for 9mths. In these long drawn out months in between, I could not believe it myself about the feelings I had. I could no longer visit a pregnant couple,when i was first told there news, my heart would drop into my stomach,then come back up into my throat.  I was paranoid when they spoke with excitement about there pregnancy, that they were rubbing salt in to my wounds. I would have to really pluck up a lot of courage to visit the new arrival,. it would take me months not days or hours.  If i had a Dr's appointment at same time as a Antinatal or baby clinic ,i took panic attacks.
Now for the shocking part!!  I had already, had 4 children of my own. all by my DH, no new DP involved, no excuse at all!! for my feelings or behavior, but i could not stop them from happening, how ever hard i tried
Your feelings are all part of this awful condition you are suffering. You are grieving for a baby you cannot have as easily as others, you are in shock, cannot see the wood for the trees.  This thing does not just happen to other people, its happening to you and its a     thing to experience.  I saw an article in the paper a few weeks back, saying people suffering infertility suffer as much depression as someone with a terminal illness
My heart goes out to you women who have suffered so much pain and slaughter over soooo, so many years.
You are truly remarkable people who are on this journey, God knows where you get your strengh to cope from.
May God grant all you wishes.
XX
Karen


----------



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hey there *itcanhappentome* - welcome to FF honey 

I am so glad you joined us - you will get lots of advice, support and understanding from our members, and make new friends and, believe it or not, have a few giggles along the way!!

So sorry you are having problems TTC - infertility is a huge rollercoaster of emotions and very very difficult to deal with. I understand exactly how you feel sweetheart, pregnant people are all around us and it hurts sooooo much especially when they are close friends/work colleagues 

Here are a couple of links for you to have a look at. Feel free to post anywhere on the site, you will always be made most welcome.

For Starting Out & Diagnosis *CLICK HERE**

For Complementary Therapies CLICK HERE

You don't say where you are from hun? We have location boards, where groups of members from the same area and/or fertility clinic get together to chat and support each other. Here is the link to the Counties in England area, maybe you can find your own area from there? That's presuming you are from England  

For Counties in England CLICK HERE

We also have a fantastic chatroom - it is often good to talk to people who really understand you  Every Friday night is NEWBIE NIGHT in the chatroom, and Dizzi Squirrel, Kate and I will be in there from 8pm to 9pm to show new members the ropes and answer any questions. I hope you can join us. Don't worry if you can't make it - if you want some help just send Dizzi Squirrel  or myself a personal message and we can arrange a short one2one session with you.



Wishing you loads and loads of        for the road ahead hun, and looking forward to seeing you around the boards
Take good care

Love and 
Tracy
x*


----------



## BubblyJules (Apr 9, 2007)

Hi There,

Just wanted to let you know, I've had the same experience, just recently.  

My friend was having a get together a couple of months ago.  Everyone hadn't arrived yet, there was just me and two others.  She was so excited to tell us,  she then produced her scan picture with much excitement.  She was expecting her 2nd baby.  With baby no 1 being just 13 months.  I would always have been the person to be so pleased   for other people, be all gushy and happy for their great news  .  But now I find it hard to be like that.  Although I try to put a brave face on  

If that wasn't bad enough,  she then went on to announce it again when all the others had arrived.  It then started all over again.  Everyone going on and on about how great it was.  And me trying to go along with it all.  Then to make matters worse told us how it only took her 5 minutes  

That night,  I had quite a few drinks.  The next day I was so down,   and my DH too.  As we have been ttc for nearly 2 years.  It was horrible to think that someones exciting news could have such a negative affect on me.

These feelings don't stay with you all the time, but they come and go.  

So you are feeling perfectly normal.  Being in the situation that we are in.


lots a luv  Jullie


----------



## Amelie_S (Mar 8, 2007)

Hi,

I'm new too, and know exactly how you feel. Since nov 06, 8 of our friends and colleagues have announced pregnancies. For me it gets harder everytime, but df has toughened up. The last announcement was from df's sister, who has met, married and emigrated with partner in the last 12 months. My df and i have been together 6 years, ttc for 4, so I took this news badly.   I can completely understand how you feel and i wish i could say something that helps. My df always says that our time will come, and that when it does, we will love our baby and appreciate it so much more. He's right I'm sure. Your time will come too. I think what makes it harder for me is when couples tell me they might start ttc soon and then hey presto they're 3 mths pg. It seems all too easy for some, and all too hard for us. Unfair.   The only advice I can offer is to stay as positive as possible, keep healthy and look after your relationship, because at the end of the day, you'll still have each other to lean on. 

What are your next steps? I'm about to start IUI.
XXX


----------



## skyisblue (Apr 5, 2007)

Hi Everyone,

It's awful that somebody else's good news can make you feel so bad. It really is a case of life's unfair. Just because you want something doesn't mean you should have it, you accept you can't win the the lottery, have a the house you would really like, the career you dreamed of as a child, but think you have a biological right to have  a child no matter what your status is in life. No one thinks this is going to happen to them and it's very hard to explain why when you find out you have fertility problems.

I was in denial about my feelings for a long time and even got angry with my DW because she was crying and upset that friends and family were pregnant. We had two couples, close friends that married after us and both conceived on their honeymoon which didn't help. I have accepted that as well as being pleased I am also jealous and even dissapointed when others have pregnancy news which I don't like but it reminds you that you haven't been able conceive when you have tried so hard, far harder than the couples with the good news. I find myself now welling up at stupid films when I hadn't cried for years.

I do feel selfish and know that there are lots of lovely children that need adopting but I would really like us to make our own baby. You can't say all this to anyone so it's really good to get it off your chest and feel a bit better. One good thing we know how strong our relationship is now.

Good luck everyone


----------



## Kathryn Emma (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi Itcanhappentome (love the  )

Welcome to FF
Don't worry hun you are perfectly normal and have had the courage to say what most of us feel!
DH and I have been married for 4yrs on 3rd May and have been ttc for the same length of time. 2yrs ago DH's brother got married and 9mth later they announced she was preg - their bundle arrived in Feb and I found the whole thing truely devastating. I avoided family get togethers while she was preg and when the baby arrived I visited once out of obligation but couldn't bring myself to hold or look at her. IT SHOLUD HAVE BEEN US FIRST - NOT THEM! I know it isn't their fault and I wish i could be happy for them, but I can't. I say that I am but in my heart I am so jealous and broken hearted   I find it almost unbareable. 

I'm sure you will find FF to be a fab lifeline, I know I do. To be able to vent all your wicked  innermost thoughts with people who understand is like taking the weight of the world off your shoulders.

You also get to make some great new friends to  

Look forward to seeing you around

Kathrynxx


----------



## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of your problems with trying for a baby. You have come to a fantastic site with plenty of support and advice and you have been left some great links to try.

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

WOW,

Thanks everyone, I can honnestly say that you guys understand what I am going through.


Kathryn Emma:

I'm so glad that you said that, because I KNOW this is what is going to happen to me.  I don't even want to see her pregrant, I don't want to see the baby when it comes.  

I really have to try to get over it.  And I do know that when our baby comes,,, we will REALLY appriciate it and know what a miracle it is to create a life.

DH and are are very close and this will just make us stronger.

Thanks everyone,

I'm so glad to be here.  I would join a regional board, but I'm not ready to be at a point where saying where I live might give someone an opportunity to know who I am.  -Terrible isn it?  Maybe later.


----------



## icky (Oct 6, 2005)

Hello and welcome

I know exactly how you feel my best friend who knows about my infertiity told me she and her hubby were going to be ttc, (she wanted to give me advance warning which I know is really considerate)  I am excited for her but dread the day she tells me she is pregnant.  they havn't even been together as long as me and my hubby have been ttc!  I don't want her to have any of the problems I have and hope she doesn't have any problems getiing pregnant, i just know that I will find it hard when she does tell me.  one thing  I do know is that I will have my fantastic FF friends to help and support me

xxx


----------



## Kathryn Emma (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi itcanhappentome,
Glad you now know you're not alone   - Don't worry hun, me and DH have been trying for 4 yrs and apart from our parents no one else knows our situation. When people ask (which they do regularly) we say we aren't even thinking about that yet. Stupid I know but I just can't face everyone knowing my business, especially when they can't empathise for even one second  !

FF has been my lifeline for expressing my feelings and I hope it gives you the same - 

Kathryn xx


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

Hi Everyone,

Sorry, but I just wanted to give an update on my current status and recent ongoings!!

Just got a message from BIL's girlfriend.  And once again,,, I am VERY upset.  (Read first post just to get the idea)

She emailed me about thier infertility problems.  (remember they are not married, and have been together for maybe 3 years, and might I add they are only 23)

So, she tried to lighten our 3 yr IF problem, by saying they have been trying FOR A WHOLE YEAR to get pg.  Oh yes,, and that BIL had low sperm count,,, 18 Mil.... HELLO 2.5 Mil here.   Can you imagine?  

Anyways,,, VERY UPSET, and can't believe the NERVE of some people.


----------



## BubblyJules (Apr 9, 2007)

Hi

Just thought I would Say hi.  I can understand the way you're feeling.  One of my friends, who also has some IF problems, told me the other day that her friend was PG again, after only 1 month of TTC.....(how annoying).  My friend told me that after the phone call, she sat in the toilet and cried for an hour.  

Her and her DH have been ttc for 3 years +. The couple who are PG again, were at my friends wedding a few months ago.  Their wee boy is only about 18 months, and I just felt they couldn't be bothered with him.  She even said kids shouldn't be at weddings.     AAAAAH...... I was so ****** off!!!!!!

Anyway just thought I would let you know of my personal experiences..

PS  I'm on my    after my first IUI so fingers crossed

Jules xxx


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

Thank Jules,

I just can't believe the insensitivity of some people.  Is it concidered IF problems if it only takes a yr. to get pg??  I thought a dr. wouldn't even seen someone before trying for a year. 

Anyway, to make matters even more twisted.  my FIL told them we have been only trying for 6 months, if that were true,,, why would we even being to think we have IF problems.  

Uh,,, frustrated and angry at thier ignorance.


----------



## dcon_blue (Apr 25, 2007)

I've just learnt that another cousin of mine is pregnant (EDD Oct) ... third child.  Perfect hubby, son, daughter and home.  I should be happy for them but I'm on the verge of another wobbly.  This is the third pregnancy/birth amongst family and friends in the past four weeks.

The only thing that's stopping me at the moment is that I feel all cried out


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

dcon,

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day as well.  I know exactally how you feel.  I try and try to tell myself to be happy for them.  But I just can't.  To make matters worse AF came to visit today too.  Perfect timing!  As if that didn't make me feel bad enough all this has to be added ontop.  

One day at a time.  I'm going crazy today.  my eyes are all   ed out.  How can some people handle this pain for 10 years?  there is a special place in heaven waiting for them.  The suffering is too much for me, and it's only been 3 years now.

uh,,,,,,,,,


----------



## BubblyJules (Apr 9, 2007)

Hi girls

I know how you're both feeling.. I just feel like I'm ready to have a baby now, it must be something about turning 30.  I'll be 31 in september, and I'm currently going through my first cycle of IUI.  The success rates of IUI are 15 - 20 %, so I don't want to get my hopes up, my DH has high levels of antibodies and  I've never heard of IUI being used for this.  That's what we have been offered on the NHS>  Ive heard of people going through this for 10 years+.  I can't imagine that, as I know how stressful it's been just this first time.    

I'm normally a really cheerful happy person, but I struggled putting a face on it yesterday around all my family.  I just so desperately want to be a MUMMY!!!  

luv Jules


----------



## Kathryn Emma (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi ladies,
Well I'm going to have to join you all in a good old fashioned gripe, moan and wallow in self pity! Why is life such a SH*T for good people. I mean I always did the right thing. BCP's and condoms right up until I had found Mr right and got married. Now 4 years on and I wonder if I got it right at all - No BFPs, not a single one. We're told we are "unexplained" - well that's a really helpful diagnosis, I know exactly where things stand now and can visualise a solid plan of action - sorry for the sarcasm, I'm feeling a bit bitter and twisted today!
Well despite the sister in law who caught at the drop of a hat and whom I can't bear to be near her or the baby (makes for fun family gatherings let me tell you), I am also having to contend with a pregnant girl at work. She's 21yrs, "accidentally" got pregnant and then split with her BF. AAAARRRRRRGGG, if I have to hear another word about how inconvenient this is for her I think I'm going to scream!!! Then of course there is the simpering adoration from everyone else at work, it's baby this and baby that and baby baby blah blah blah. Enough already, the silly moo didn't even WANT to get her self in the "family way" (no pun intended). 
O-M-G, why am I turning into a sour, bitter old sow. I hate it but I can't help feeling this bubbling rage inside.
If I don't get a BFP some day soon I think my head might pop. Please please please don't let yet another year go by.

Sorry ladies, I really needed that vent. Hopefully our dreams will come true very soon

Take care - good luck for you all
Kathrynx


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

Hey Kathryn,

Yes a self pitty day.  Talking about doing things "right",,, DH and I didn't even do the deed till we were married, after 6 years of being together.  Starting to think that was a mistake.  Maybe we would have been fertile in our youngers years and wouldnt be in the perdicimant we are in now,,,  life is so complicated.  

Once again, got asked by another neighbour today when we are going to start a family,,,  I think I'm going to become a shut in.  That way I wont have to talk to anyone.  

I don't want to watch TLC because its all about mothers day, and kids!  Maybe they should put a warning up before they put those commercials on for people like us.  

Another test day in the life of IF.


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Big  to you all 

The pain of infertility is never far away, whether someone asks you a question, an advert on the tv or radio comes on, a family in the street at the park or in your radius!!!
or even a photo of a child you could swear could be yours!!! (this happend to me yesterday) these are all triggers for tears and why me's! (I did not cry)

I vowed I would not end up bitter and twisted over this and so enjoyed time with various neices and nephews, first with the card & gift etc (spent a small fortune I can tell you!!!)
our 10th year of trying was the worst year ever, 6 yrs on from that and I am immune to most situations in fact my emotions are so closed up I hardly cry anymore - but when I do look out!

What I am saying is there will always be someone that you know pregnant with their 1st or 5th it does not mean they have a good life 

My life is good - it is not yet complete but we are trying!
~Dizzi~


----------



## BubblyJules (Apr 9, 2007)

Hi Girls

Just I quick one. I agree with Dizzi about the happiness thing. Just because people have children doesn't mean to say they are happy

Think we should get a bit of feel good factor going on, on this thread.

    

I think that it's important to let you all know what a loving DH I have. When I met him it was LOVE  at first sight ( hope I'm not making you sick he-he....) I also knew about his IF problem before I married him. There's an 8 year age gap, he being older than me.

He was married before, and went through many years of different fertility treatments. None of them successful, she never gave up alcohol throughout all of the treatments, selfish if you ask me. She eventually had an affair, and the marriage was over. Then to top it all off, months later, she was pregnant.He was affected so badly, he had have counseling.

We thought it might me different between us, as we are so compatible in many other ways. I know he blame's himself for the problems we're going through, and at the moment it's a daily struggle waiting for this result. I never realised how difficult it was going to be, but I wouldn't change him for the world. *We are a family* even though we don't have any kids yet.

I just hope that one day we will have our own. We have 3 nieces and 8 nephews, 9 on my side and 2 on his. They all love us to bits and it's a real treat to them if they get to come for a sleep over.

    

Lots a Luv Jules


----------



## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Hi girls
I have a sister in law, who never considered children before getting married, decide to try just because me and her brother were having trouble and thought they shouldn't leave it too long. One month after the wedding there they were pregnant - they live directly across the road from us and had been, well I thought good friends. I told her all our heart ache but she couldn't bring herself to tell us they were trying and then that they were pregnant - she had her mother do it.  This happened the day after the hospital mistakenly told DH he would never father children. (We are both a little low in fertility and on clomid) Since then there has been definate avoidance and it makes it so difficult with them living so close. She even asked me not to mention our treatments as it embarrased her and that really hurt but I wouldn't do it - that was her problem and eventually she grew up and now asks.

 It has been a difficult time but once I stopped hating her and the world, I realised that they never wanted a baby the way we do and that this was kind of frust upon them out of their own foolishness. It has also made their pregnancy kind of bitter sweet, especially in the family. She herself has felt guilt and anguish about the awful situation although she could have handled it better. I have learnt through many tears that I would not have wanted any of that. Although me and DH waited I don't regret it - and I know our baby will be so wanted and loved and be a very happy event in the family.

I have gone out of my way to *not* avoid her, to call her after every appointment and scan and to take pleasure in the pregnancy and you know what? The hate disappeared and some of her avoidance too and I have got some belly blessings in hope that they might help. 

She is now overdue and bound to drop or be pushed at the weekend when AF is due. I am so worried about how I will cope. But I will be sad that there will be no more pregnancies to get blessings from.

This has been the hardest pregnancy to witness but I also have had my best friend have a baby last year but she shared all of it and has remained a really strong bond with mother and baby. My Masters study buddy is due to deliver after a terrible pregnancy but again she has shared a lot with me and has kept up with my appointments. She has given me plenty of belly rubs to spread the magic.

But sometimes I feel like the stork  - the girl next door had a baby last year, the one on the other side is 6 months and a girl two doors down from S-I-L had a baby last week so I get to watch all the yummy mummies dander back and forward in front of my window, bumps or babes in arms while I type or study.

I thought I would go mad but then instead of avoiding them I came out to say hello, to ask about their pregnancies and hope some of the baby magic would rub off. It wasn't easy at the start but a couple of months down the line I feel so much more positive and less of a victim. I have read so many books and watched shows that I often give them information. Now when I see pregnant women I think there is baby dust in the vacinity and visualise it enveloping me. It makes it bearable.

Be open about your situation - that is what I did. I hate the thought that fertility problems should be taboo. It belongs to you and is part of who you are.

Sorry for the long message but I feel I have learnt so much and wanted to pass on my coping mechanisms.

Good luck and hope baby dust touches you all. Apps


----------



## Kathryn Emma (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi all,

Guess we all have our own little ways of coping. I have to say I'm definitely a bottle it up kind of person and do all my sobbing and feeling sorry for myself at home  I simply can't allow myself to be open to it when I'm out and about because when the emotion starts it's uncontrollable and just keeps coming  
Luckily DH and I are solid and we can always rely on eachother for some TLC and fighting spirit .
And of course FF is always a winner if you don't want to feel like you're all alone .


Take care
Kathryn


----------



## Itcanhappentome (Apr 12, 2007)

I am exactally the same way.  Strong face in public, trainwreck at home.  I could NEVER tell anyone what DH and I are doing. or even trying to do.



Thanks for the nice stories.  I really hope BIL's Gf and I can get along, right now,,, I can't see it happening, but I hope it will.  She is just too caught up in herself to have any idea what others are going through.

No one said life was easy,,, in a way, I am ok with this struggle because my mother always use to tell me how life was special and precious,, and how when a man and a woman love each other,,, blah blah blah.  Well, now I know what she was talking about.  When people are able to concieve so easily, they don't think about how special it really is.


----------



## Kathryn Emma (Oct 22, 2006)

Too true!


----------



## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Hi, 

I know you posted this a few weeks ago, but I only joined tonight - but I wanted to say, I feel exactly the same as you do - my two BIL/SIL both have 2 children each (all girls) - and they both gone on at how great an aunt/uncle my DH and I are, and then ask why don't you have children etc etc.  I could strangle them.  I do want what they have but don't feel I could tell them that we are struggling to conceive.  Now, they ring to tell me how mutual friends are pregnant and she looks great etc and no-one thought that she would get pregnant.

Sorry I am rambling on ..... I am just a little frustrated with it all.  
Regards
Amanda


----------



## nic68 (Apr 13, 2007)

yes this feeling is normal. i feel like this most of the time. it seems everyone around you can get pregnant no bother except you.
most of my friends have babies no bother and my brother and sister as well. my brothers wife has just had a baby couple days ago and even though hes gorgeous i wish it was me.

my emotions at the moment are like a roller coaster continually up and down.

We had 1st failed ivf cycle end march and to start 2nd cycle end may. i wish someone would look down on me and send me some good luck.


Fingers crossed for you.

Nicola


----------



## Kathryn Emma (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi Nicola, here's some good luck and positive energy for you hun!!          
And some baby dust for extra luck    

....and of course some for the rest of us


----------



## lilacbunnykins (Mar 15, 2005)

Hi i know the feeling to,my hubbys 19yr old neice accidently got pregnant,they had been together a year,then my ex stepson(divorced his dad)who is also 19 is going to be a dad in 2 months time,theres me and hubby both 41 and desperate to become parents,we to get asked when we going to have kids,i just say i cant have them naturaly ,need ivf ,they then feel bad for asking..but ppl should not assume you want or cant have kids...2 other friends have said oh its babys 1st birthday next month we having a aprty u are coming ahhhh dont know if i can cope....


----------



## hobbywatson (Jul 6, 2007)

Know exactly what you're going through - me too.

It seems all my friends have kids and they're all gorgeous!  We had a BBQ, supposed to be a good ole adult knees up, had my mind set on forgetting it all and then suddenly everyone turned up with their kids.  I found it soooo hard to cope i stayed in the kitchen sorting food and top ups whilst not drinking 'just in case'  

And the best thing??  I have a lady sat opposite me at work, contracting for us who is expecting in October.  When it was announced - they had a picture and everything - i almost ran from the office to cry and cry.  She's nice enough but everytime i see her in the corridor i feel compelled to ask how it's going but really really don't want to know.  And in meetings she kind of strokes the bump - gosh i know it sounds awful and honestly would probably be the same but i keep wishing myself miles away.

Anyhoo, hope it gets easier for all of us, sending you all good vibes (after my rant obviously!) and wishing you all luck!


----------



## welshliz (Jun 30, 2007)

Hi i am a new member too.
We have been trying for 18mths and just been referred.
I work in a dental practice on the reception, it seems that all the patients seem to be pregnant even the dentist is pregnant, she got pregnant straight away.
They spend all lunch time talking about babies in front of me knowing full well i am ttc. 
I try not to get upset and stressed in work, im just trying to be positive.
Good luck.


----------



## woozaphoebe (Jun 18, 2007)

I know how your all feeling. It's amazing how much stress infertility causes and for most of us friends and family are unaware of all the heartache that you go through.
We found out in March that we would most likely need IVF but was put on Clomid for 3 months again just in case we managed to get pregnant. Went for my final Hopsital appointment last Thursday and was told that we needed IVF (I have to say that the Dr who I saw knew nothing about us and what had been going on so I felt like it was a complete waste of time as I was having to tell him the facts surely he should have read my notes before I saw him!!!!). Anyway the I was shocked when he asked me if I was going to wait for the NHS to fund IVF, we have to wait until I'm 36 and I'm only 28.
We are now deciding on where to go for IVF as we have it down to 2 places, the only downside to this is that my DH is being deployed in September for 6 months so yet again were having to wait until next year to start the treatment, we started our long road back in 2004 when I first went to the Dr's, it has been delayed once before as DH was away.
In the mean time many of my friends are having babies and they always ask when are you going to start a family, only one of my close friend knows all of the stress and pain that were going through.
At times I feel like a complete and utter failure as all I ever wanted was to be a Mum. I'm a step Mum to a 10 year who I love dearly and we get on so well, but its just not the same.
I wish everyone the best of luck and that we all get some positive results soon.
Sorry for ranting but just had to get it off my chest.


----------



## misstattoo (Jun 14, 2007)

Hi there,
                                     I think everyone on this site feels the same way, I've been trying for 5 years and to hear of people who just fall pregnant without even thinking about it or don't deserve to have children. I have no time for people who are addicts and pop out children and drag their children thro life. My partner and i try to keep healthy, We stopped smoking,drinking, everything we can to increase our chances of conceiving, We're still waiting and on our third IVF, sometimes i get really angry about it all but then it's down to mother nature in the end and if she decides it's my turn to b a mum one day then i'll b very grateful.
  That's my rant and rave over now. Good Luck


----------



## ebonie (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi girls im sorry for joining this thread but i have read some of ur posts it is very hard to go through infertility we have been ttc for 9 and ahalf yrs,seems like forever we had fertility treatment in 2003 three iuis and six lots of clomid all failed we was at teh end of our tether i was so depressed seeing everyone having their first second and third baby i used to ask myself why not us i used to be very enviouys of people that got pregnant i was like a nutter in a way.
Then we decided to go in for adoption it was a hard decision to make but we are so glad we made it in 2005 we had a little boy he was three when we had him the love me and dh feels our son is out of this world he is my life i would go through more yrs of suffering to have him i am so glad we didnt catch all them yrs ago cause if we did we wouldnt have had our son there is light at the end of the tunnel.

My son is now five and we are embarking on more fertility treatment we have three more goes at iui and one go at ivf on the nhs, we are going to take them my son wants a baby brother or sister if all these fails then we will most probably go down the route of adoption again, there is light at the end of the tunnel be strong girls and boys well go through this together                

Hugs ema aka (ebonie)


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Dont apoligise hun yours is a heartwarming story which gives HOPE!

 for your TX!

~Dizzi~


----------

