# Good book-kinda related to us all!!!



## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Has anyone read the book called "The Godmother" by Carrie Adams? It is very good-finished it last night.

It is about a single girl with mostly married friends/ mothers and how she stuggles with her status as godmum and not mum! Very well written and a great read!


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Haven't read it but thanks for mentioning it, it sounds like a good read!
Hope you're doing ok today flower x

Love,
Emcee xxx


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Thanks for sharing this with everyone Irish Eyes,

I had never really read much on the subject of LCF, but when I started to read books this summer, that had been recommended by girls on this site, it helped me sooooooo much.  I wish I'd found many of them years ago!

Clinics should be handing them out at the start of tx as standard !!

Good on you!
Gill xo


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Dear Irish eyes,
thanks for that. I'll add it too my list of must read books.
I married quite late - at 37 - but boy was he worth waiting for!
I remember when I was about 36 going out to a restaurant for a "hen night" for a friend who was about to get married. I was the only single woman there and everyone sat around and talked about their wedding/husband/partner/pregnancy/children. I felt like I was invisible and was worthless. I went home and cried for hours. It was funny because just after that I decided that I couldn't live like this and I was going to enjoy my life and not hanker for what I did not have a nd then about 6 months later I met my husband and we got married 6 months after that! During that single time of my life I remember thinking how I envied infertile couples because at least they have each other. I absolutely cringe with shame at those thoughts now ( and feel terrible even confessing them). The grief of infertility is in a way the same but also totally different.
Lots of love PS emcee I love the photo of your cat. I have a beloved Siamese called Georgina.


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## Hippy (Aug 2, 2005)

Emma - I am soooo glad you were brave and honest enough to share how you felt re when you were single and your thoughts on couples even if they couldn't have children, as this is a topic I am always worrying about when I meet up with my many single friends who are all in their early 30's. I have constantly worried that talking about my childless pain with them probably isn't very helpful and could cause them to feel exactly how you did hence I try to not discuss the topic with them anymore.  Hearing you confirm how I thought my single friends might be feeling has been so helpful, and I will continue to be very mindful of the childless topic when in the company of single friends, because for some they may well have their own pain and disappointments to juggle just as you did. So pleased you have now found your fab hubby and he was worth the wait   Thank you for sharing this important topic.

Love
Hippy
xx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hello Emma
Along with Hippy i think your post was very interesting and insightful. Its strange when i look back at the thoughts i have had in the past and then think nothing is so cut and dry. I often feel for a few of my friends who do not have a partner and they are in their late 30's. They are in a more difficult position than us and i tend to try and take that on board in their company. I think this makes us look deeper and understand that we are in a more fortunate position that alot of others!! thankyou for bringing this up...so glad you found a fabulous hubby!!
My question is also to Irisheyes? did you get anything really valuable from the book? I really hope so because things have been so though for you...
lots of love astridxx


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Hippy and Astrid, thanks for kind words. It means a lot. I think that part of my denial about my infertility was because I'd been through similar feelings in my 30's with respect to my lack of partner. When I first realised that a pregnancy was not going to be easy I had some "well here we go again"  feelings. In a way it's completely the same but also completely different. I feel that I'm so lucky to have this gorgeous man and that the world really deserves another bit of him but it's not happening.
I think it's always easy (as I did) to look at others and think they're better off than me because they have - husband/ children/ big extended family etc. Grief comes to all of us sooner or later - it's just the way it is. 
I think our losses help us to be sensitive to others losses and sadness helps us to appreciate what we have. Easy to write down or to say though - much more difficult to live. 
My sadness helps me to do my job better - I think I'm a much better GP because of it - but it doesn't make it easier for me. I take good care of women who are pregnant or have just had a baby. When I got back from holiday I saw some people bring their babies back for 6 week checks. Not being able to get pregnant I appreciate the value of what they have and it helps me share in the joy and appreciate how precious a baby is but it makes it hard for me and several times over the last week I have fought back the tears in the surgery and then then got to my car and cried all the way home. Just got my period this week which probably doesn't help!
It sounds like several of you work with families also and Astrid you are a nurse so all of us share in this bittersweet grief.
Thanks for letting me share
Lots of love to all


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Having read the replies just wanted to make sure you realise that this isnt a self help book- more of a novel but was very well written. Emma, i am sure you make a wonderful gp having been thru hard times yourself.It makes a huge difference if someone understands. Hope someone else enjoys this as i did!


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