# where do i start??????



## Frenchy74 (Sep 28, 2008)

hello all

i'm very new to all this and have so many questions. don't want to scare everybody off by asking all my questions in one go   so will just start with a bit about me and couple of questions to hopefully get me going!

i'm 34 (since July), gay, single and have been thinking about how much i want a baby for the past few years until i made the decision a few months ago that ishould stop about it and start doing something about it

i suffer from an underactive thyroid, which is controlled by medication. i realise that in itself that condition might make me infertile. At the moment, i have not even spoken to my GP about wanting a child and therefore i'm quite lost

i want to be as prepared as possible when i go to see my gp - been recording exactly when i get my period for the last 3 months, am loosing weight to get back into a heatly weight and healthy bmi, and have been looking on every single website i can find on the subject - so much info though!!!!  

Are there any single lesbians out there who could maybe share their experience?
is ivf only for women who can't conceive naturally? 
what if you are a lesbian who can conceive but obvioulsy due to being gay can't conceive naturally - what are the options then?
what if you are a lesbian wo can't conceive naturally - i'm hoping i am in the category just above but have to face the fact that i might be in this category!  
do lesbians (in relationships or single) get treatment (whatever option) funded by the NHS - in oxford area

so many questions but have to force myself to stop otherwise i could write pages of them!! 

you might tell me that i should just go to my gp to get the answer to those questions and all the others but i am so scared that he's going to tell me there is nothing he can do that i am hopng that by getting as  much info as possible he won't send me away without helping. 

thank you so much for reading me and even more so if you take the time to reply

Gini


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

i think you would be best placed to go see your gp but that it can't hurt to have some info before you go.

i'm not sure about oxford and getting treatment on the nhs. i know there are a couple on here (for not for ages) that had 2 children at oxford fertility clinic but i'm pretty sure they paid for it.

if you want to go the clinic route you'd usually go to your gp and get a referal, or sometimes, you can go direct to the clinic (we did this with london womens clinic). if you go direct to the clinic then they will make contact with your gp. if you do go the clinic route you can do a lot of research on here, there are other parts of the messageboard that talk about specific clinics. you can find out about prices and, more importantly, whether or not they have a plentiful supply of donor sperm which you'll need. otherwise you could end up on a long waiting list for it. alternatively you can source your own sperm from abroad and ship it in, i know a quite a few women get it from denmark. your clinic should help you with the paperwork.

there's a lot more ivf since they changed the law on donor anonymity. with the sperm shortage i think a lot of clinics have been quicker to move to ivf when they have a woman who hasn't conceived within 2 tries. When we were ttc the 1st time around (before the law change) clinics would routinely let you go on for 6-10 attempts before suggestion medication or ivf. They all have different protocols though.

you sound like you're doing a lot of the right things, getting to know your cycle, getting healthy, all helpful  . Don't let your gp fob you off or send you away. you have the right to a referral at least even if you do have to pay for it yourself.

i'd cross the fertility problems bridge if and when you get to it. once you're in the system in the hands of a clinic they'll help you with any decisions you need to make if initial treatment fails and a problem becomes apparent.

good luck!


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay gini

welcome to FF.

rosypie really has written a more than adequate reply ... just gonna add:

i didnt have a gp so just researched clinics and then went straight to there.  (for us it was also london womens clinic too).  Most people who i know of to have any help concieving paid for their treatment either because of waitng lists or had one attempt on NHS and then paid the rest.

well done on getting started and getting healthy and getting to know your body!  all great.

let us know how you get on.

GOOD LUCK!!

aimee


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## Alison0702 (Apr 7, 2006)

Hi Gini..welcome  

I went to my GP first to get bloods done as I didnt have regular cycles, and the bloods showed I did not ovulate and the doc said I have polycycstic ovarian syndrome. 
Luckily, some lesbian friends of ours had already done all of the research and picked a specific clinic due to the price, and also that they were known for dealing with lesbian couples so there would be none of this "ooh look at them" kind of atitude.
So, we went straight to him, and he was fabulous. 

Some clinics wont let you go straight to IVF as it puts a lot of strain  on your body, so they will try IUI first. There is an IUI thread on this website so it will give you loads of info, and I think all of us on this thread have had it too, so we can try and help you as much as we can.

Good luck
Alison


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## Frenchy74 (Sep 28, 2008)

Hello - thank you very much rosypie, aimee and alison for getting back to me and answering some of my questions. I'll definitely have a look at the iui section. 
I have had a look on some private clinic websites -the cost is so high but hey i suppose that it's a small price to pay for the joy of having a child. 
I'll let you know how i get on 
Thanks a lot 
Gini


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