# First Christmas advice



## angel_lass (Sep 10, 2008)

hi all, so we brought our new DD home only last week, what a shock the adjustment has been so we are using the fake it to you make it lol anyhow we don't know what to do about Xmas, should we just keep it low key just the three of us? She is barely three so I don't think she really gets the Xmas thing anyways


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I would say go with what she wants / needs. Our daughters have been home 7 months and we're doing a family / normal Xmas. They are used to family and know them well so although I'm expecting issues I don't think they'll be bigger or smaller for being just us now.  However early in I know neither of mine would have coped with anything but us four at home.  We didn't do anything for Fathers Day this year because of it.  However I know other people who's lo have loved mixing from early in.  Xmas is a very iconic time of yr and the  post adoption psychologist I seek support from for my girls had said that the environment can evoke emotional memories / trauma even if they can't actually remember properly.  

If you're worried then definitely stick to just you at home.  There is next year and every year after that for a big wider family event. Enjoy whatever you decide.


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## mummy to little pea (Nov 8, 2013)

Hi angel lass, 

congrats on your new addition.

I would do whatever you really feel comfortable with, you will prob be surprised with how much she knows about xmas with what she has seen in shops and xmas trees around, keep it low key i would say but introduce the meaning of xmas by talking about him and next year you can start introducing him a bit earlier.  you need to feel comfortable with it or else it could have a set back for next year.

We have had our DD home for 6 months now and we are celebrating christmas how we usually do every year as we are starting as we mean to go on, but we have prepped her from beginning of november by introducing xmas songs and then seeing pictures of santa and the reindeer and ultimately buying a rudolph teddy and then introducing what santa is and brings toys to good girls and boys and in a cpl days time i will start reading her the night before xmas and start saying that santa will come out of the fire place to leave toys and presents, she has totally taken to this and has no fear of santa and hopefully never will x

all the best with whatever you decide on x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Congratulations on your LO  

My DS came home the beginning of December so we were really unsure how to deal with our first Christmas too! 

Actually, we had a lovely time, we kept it very low key, no tree, just a few decs and cards up, didn't visit santa (why would you with a lo you're encouraging to be with only you, then sit them on a strangers knee!!!) 
We spent the morning at home, just the 3 of us, a couple of presents,  then we went out for dinner with my parents (less stress!)My mum was chomping at the bit to 'have' ds and I understand, but, our sons needs came first, so going out for dinner meant he was with us and grandparents but clearly sitting with us for funnelling etc etc, DS was just 18 months and has always been a little star eating out so we knew this wouldn't be a problem, ds fell asleep, we all had a couple of drinks and walked home.  Back to just the 3 of us, a couple more presents at home, then a relaxing afternoon/evening. 

For us that was the best thing to do and we're so so glad we did, would you like to spend a hectic Christmas with a lot of 'strangers' you've only just met    I know I wouldn't, no matter how much you tell yourselves 'they're fine with my family' etc, I think deep down, really, we don't know that......


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## angel_lass (Sep 10, 2008)

Hi folks thanks so much we have just decided it's going to be the three of us. X


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## Brummig (Jan 14, 2011)

Whatever you do it will special as it is your first Christmas together.  Our LO came home 5th Dec last year.  It was different for us as we have birth child who was 10, and has autism, so we had to do Christmas.  
MIL came up on Christmas Eve (she lives alone), I took the kids to the crib  service at church.  Christmas Day we did a few presents in the morning (mainly MIL's), then after brunch my parents came to see kids (MIL and DH started making lunch then so not too crowded).  A little later I took kids out for a walk, LO fell asleep while we popped in to see my brother.  Then Christmas dinner at home, just the 5 of us.  A lot of our presents were left for the next day so it wasn't too much.  MIL went home on Boxing Day with DH and DS, and I stayed at home with LO.  It was all fairly quiet.  LO was fine with MIL being here, but vey clingy when Dad had gone.  The 2 days we were one our own were very intense.  In many ways the hardest part was trying not to keep going places it was busy, but as weather was bad, everywhere under cover was busy!  We had bought her a snowsuit and boots and went to local shops for a pint of milk and things like that.


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