# Counselling over - feeling weird



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

I finished my 'ration' of six weeks counselling today - so now what? I have really benefited from it but now feel so anxious about how I'm going to get on without it. I know that it didn't really change things - but I felt I was progressing (albeit slowly). But the NHS decrees that I'm only allowed 6 sessions. If I have another 'crash' I'll be able to be referred (apparently). That doesn't sound great. I  don't think I can afford to go privately right now and I don't want to go to CRUSE (didn't get on with the lady I saw - even though I really appreciated that she bothered. I think it was just that she was not v. experienced). Ho hummm. Feeling pretty low and cheesed off. 
Does anyone else feel as though every single day is a battle? I am so worn out.
Bernie


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## VT (Aug 5, 2005)

Bernie,

I am sorry that you are feeling a bit low. I don't have any words of wisdom, just to say we are here for you. I know exactly what you mean about being exhausted. It is an uphill struggle of the scale that most mere mortals will never experience or indeed understand. Just know we stand here united, shoulder to shoulder, ready to give you a shove up if you need it or a gentle pull to keep you going forward.

Big gentle hugs to you our fellow FF.

Vicki
x


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Bernie, 

You've highlighted the deep, deep flaw with NHS services - 6 weeks just isn't long enough for our complex form of bereavement. Massively frustrating....

One thought, you could try and see if any local counsellors can offer you a reduced rate for a set period of time, or, even see if any local counselling trainees nearing the end of their training and needing client hours have a vacancy - they will either be free of charge or at least cheaper. If they've been trained well their lack of experience won't necessarily show. 

Also, More to Life offer a buddy network of people you can get in touch with over the telephone / via email - not counselling, but real contact with people who understand. They are part of the Infertility Network which probably has a weblink from FF. 

I hope you find what you need - if you want to chat more, pm me...

Love, 

MM xxx


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## Cheshire Cheese (Apr 19, 2005)

Hi ya, hope you don't mind me jumping in

I have to agree with MM on this one,

Six weeks is not long enough, and i would be looking at trying to extend that, is there a way you could get more from the NHS.
If you feel you are benefiting from it i would certainly push for more.

Try and take something away from the Counselling that you have benefited from and put into practice as i am sure you probably are already.
I have suffered from depression through all of this, well we both have and we also found counselling to be beneficial to us both, we even attended a session together once which took us a massive step further on how we both felt, we both surprised one another.

In my previous job we had counsellors that we could use, which was great, also my DW has been using the Counsellor associated with our Fertility clinic and she has been helping my Wife to move on.


I hope things pick up for you, i am sure you will get through the other side.

Regards CC xx


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## helen273 (Jan 26, 2006)

Bernie,

I get the feeling from some of our most recent posts that we are sort of in the same stage - we recognise that we need to move on, but we are still hoping for a miracle to happen in the meantime. 

I am finding this really difficult because one minute I am really positive, the next I feel like there isn't much point (to anything) anymore. It's not a healthy mix is it?

I just wanted to say if you felt like chatting anytime about anything, give me a nod. DH is at the end of his tether with me and I am fed up of discussing things with friends who have children/dont want them.  No disrespect to them - they have all been abolsutely great and they have helped me over the worst and have put up with my sullen-ness and emotional instability over the past year or so, but I think I need more support from ladies in the same position

Helen x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Bernie honey

Got no wise words for you, am in a bit of a tizz myself after discovering my pal who is the same age as me (ish, she is 40, I am almost 40) is pregnant... she has never had any problems with pregnancy and although its nice someone can be so relaxed about it all, it really hits home to me that I lost all my innocence with pregnancy a long time ago and in a way I feel like I've been cheated - cheated of the experience and cheated in the sense I don't have a family of my own and never will... I'm dreading the 'it has happened for her it can happen to you' brigade when they start - don't know how I will deal with that although it will probably entail the use of swear words in my reply....!

Its not fair that counselling only lasts for 6 weeks, 6 weeks is nowhere near long enough to even begin to explore a quarter of the complex emotions surrounding IF, loss, grief, isolation and everything else... I hope that you can find something that helps you along the way hon. MM has given some great ideas as always!

Sending you my love and telling you that you are not alone in all of this hon 
Emcee xxx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Dear Helen and Emcee,
I started this thread a couple of months ago - and I'm feeling a lot better and more able to cope. I had to find my own way of coping and progress has been gradual (this board has helped!!). I do have down days - but I'm managing to keep off the Prozac. This is important to me as although the drugs did help, I never feel quite myself when I'm on them - the downside to getting rid of the lows means you miss the highs as well and you end up in 'limbo'. So I'm doing my best with meditation, homeopathy, healthy diet and just being easy on myself and giving myself space. DH was so sweet today - he knew I was getting a bit stressed with having his nephew in the house so he's taken his sister and nephew off down the coast to do some fossiling, giving me some quiet time on my own. 
Emcee - I have a similar thing happening with a friend who is 41 and desperately wants to start a family. When we talk about it she is soooo confident that it is just going to happen - she says things like, "We can be pregnant together" - heard that one before, got the T-shirt.... etc
I am dreading her falling preggers as she is lovely and her partner is dh's best friend. I know it sounds selfish but I would just hate for yet another pregnancy to ruin a friendship.
Bernie xxx


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