# Finding a surrogate- likely timescales



## beattie2

Hello

I have not posted on this board before but have been researching suurgoacy for a while as I have immune issues which are proving difficult to beat. I am currently undergoing further immune therapy and if it doesn't work we are considering host surrogacy as an option.

As a newbie it would be really helpful to get a feel for some of the basics- for example realistically what are the chances of finding a host surrogate and how long on average does it take to finding a match? Would also be greatful if any of you more experienced ladies could give me some tips and advice re getting started.

Thanks- any info would be much appreciated 

Best wishes  

Bxx


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## Amandajb

Hi there.

I hope your treatment works for you, but if it turns out that surrogacy is the way forward for you, there are several things you can do.

You could join COTS or SUK, both of which are great organisations offering real opportunities to meet vetted surrogates, but at a cost.  

You could join online support boards like Miracles do happen, uksurrogatefamiliesonline, a little wish etc etc, which again, offer great opportunities to interact with surrogates, with less or no cost.  

You could go down the classified route and vet your own surrogates, the advantage is its confidential and free.

All of these methods offer some merits and one or more may be what you are looking for.  

As for your chances of finding a host surrogate, I would say that you only have to look on here to see the many many happy stories of people who have done just that.  The list grows longer every year of families created using surrogates.  Some couples wait years and years, whereas some test the water and find their surrogate very quickly.

My advice to you would be to try every avenue you can to meet surrogates.  Whilst the law in this country forbids advertising by surrogates, by using the methods I've described above, you will be seen by surrogates looking for that perfect match. When talking or writing to them, see if you 'click'.  It is then that you know you could trust that person to do the most important job in the world - carry YOUR precious bundle. Its always easier and usually more successful, to work with a surrogate you actually like.  Nine months is a very long time to work with someone you can't stand the sight of!

The very best of luck to you.  I really  hope you find a way forward that allows you to have your much sought after family.  Feel free to PM me if I can help further.

Take care and I hope this helps. 



Amanda


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## EJJB

Hi,
Two and a half years to find a straight surrogate through SUK.
We are quite geographically remote, and she lives 1.5 hours away, which is far enough when you've got to drive their and back three nights on the bounce.
She is an amazing lady and a good friend and we are still in touch, saw each other this weekend. 
Although we had a longer than average wait, the SUK membership was worth every penny. The support we and our surrogate got was superb, and we have made many good friends because of it.
Plus of course we have our beautiful daughter who is priceless, and I mean that in a good way. 
Good Luck 
Love 
EJJB
x


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## OD2

Hi B,

I'm sorry about your immune issues - it sounds like you've been through the mill a bit, and I do hope it works out for you this time.  If not, you've had good advice from Amanda and EJJB.  It's impossible to say what the average wait time is, but its definitely true that the more active you are in whatever organisations or websites you get involved in, the shorter your odds become, so if you decide to go for it, do expect to put a bit of time into it.

For what it's worth, my example is:

Summer 06 - decided to go for surrogacy and attended first SUK get-together
October 06 - completed paperwork and became full SUK member. Attended conference and met our surrogate (Kate) for the first time
May 07 - after about 7 months of chatting and getting to know each other well, Kate and her husband offered to help us.  Two weeks later, Kate's dad was taken seriously ill, so we had to wait a while
Nov 07 - started process with clinic
Jan 08 - frozen embryo transfer
Sept 08 - frantic nesting at our house cos baby is due any day now! 

I hope you get as lucky

Fxx


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## beattie2

Amanda, EJJB and OD2 thanks for you info, its really good to hear some positive stories

Best wishes

Bx


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## ~Yvonne~

Hi Beattie,

Have PM'd you! 

Yvonne x


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## steve and sue

Hi Me and Stve used a service called www.surrogatepathways.com and they helped us with a surrogate in nine weeks, they even  irefered us to a clinic, our first cycle of treatment with an egg donor is next week you may want to try them 


Stve and Sue 

/links


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## beattie2

Thanks for you info guys

Steve and  Sue- Had heard of them and their website claims to be able to be able to find a surrogate quickly. Let me know how you get on - good luck

Bx


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## marijka

****************** won't use you if either one of the parents is over 45 years old unfortunately.


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## xxcaggyxx

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