# What to do......head or heart ???



## sevsxp (Oct 1, 2012)

Our 1st LO moved in July 2011, 2nd LO moved in Dec 2012 and now we have heard BM is pregnant again.......and there is already a care plan in place for no.3

Wifey and I are so torn..... 

my heart says yes lets offer him/her a loving home, also  I cant imagine explaining to my sons later in life, why we adopted him them and not adopt their brother/sister....... 

my head says no, the sleepless nights when 2nd LO moved in, issues we have had with 1st LO when 2nd LO moved in, house will need extending, new car......will BM ever stop ?

One minute we think yes and one minute we think no !!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

That is so hard!!  It's something worrying me and we haven't even had a match yet... lol  We are approved for up to 3 children.  Realistically we would take 2 but they wanted to future proof us in case BM was to have another.  But as you say, where would you stop?  I never saw myself with 3 kids but can you say no... Tough, tough, tough!  I think you should go with head on this one, you never know if having 3 will work out and it could damage what you have but as you say, what do you tell the kids later on?     I just don't know, not sure what I would do either.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Are your first two biological siblings - sounds like they are? And are they the first two in the family or are there a few older?

I guess you can look at it as keeping some of the siblings together - and how many you are able to keep together is up to you as a family. You might also want to find out if the new baby is adopted by another family are you able to have any guarantee you'd see the baby at all.


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

I'd go with your head! If you feel you are reaching you limit already then another might be too much. We found gong  from 2 to 3 children is the biggest challenge,  more than from 0 to 1 even! Good luck whatever you decide xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Have no experience yet but wanted to say I really feel for you it's a really difficult situation. There's no right or wrong choice there are pros and cons and big risks either way. Good luck working through x x


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

A very difficult decision.  Chances are though if bm has number 3 she will go on to have number 4 and 5..... If you decide to go with your head, it might be possible to arrange to meet up with adopters for number 3 and see if you could set up some kind of regular contact .  Good luck x


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