# Social Media



## Tw1nk82 (Dec 5, 2012)

Was just wondering what peoples thoughts on social media are. Do you put anything about your LOs on it?


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I didn't for a long time, then a few people commented when our son was born and my FIL put a pic of him holding baby on. I was upset as I couldn't treat my children differently. By now AO had been granted so I did start to make reference to both my children on some posts. As time went on little pink started being tagged in posts and photos at parties and at nursery and so I started to put some of my own pics on. In my opinion LO as a baby looks so massively different to the daughter I have today. Many would disagree with me but I feel the threat is low enough to share my children with my close family and friends. It took a while to reach this point but I'm comfortable in my decision now. However I have never searched birth parents on social media and never would! Funny how we are all different xxx


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Our little one came home in March, just had our celebration day today, and I've done a status to thank people etc for coming along.
I had a huge cull, and the only people I'm friends with know we adopted anyway and I trust them with things I say. My hubby has a picture of the two of them walking down a country lane as his profile pic but it's taken from behind so you can't see anything.

I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing pictures of her, possibly in years to come I may do, but for the moment I feel she would be instantly recognisable by birth family and friends.

I have checked the BPs out on social media and have no common friends etc 😕


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

When our little one comes home I'm planning on letting my ******** buddies know. I don't have loads of ******** friends and will get rid of anyone I don't feel comfortable with. I wouldn't put his name on or any pics (unless they are distant ones like the one you mentioned Nicola) but I will mention what we're getting up to.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

I refer to mine as 'the boys' or with initials, photos from behind or angles that don't show their faces. A close friend put a full on face photo an I went crazy!!! Mainly because the whole X degrees of separation occurred when I nearly sold pushchair via ** to a birth relative, there's over 100 miles between us an no mutual friends so just shows how easy were all connected x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Our lo had a name change so I do put posts on there re him. Photos are only ones where his face isn't visible for now. We do have a private group for immediate family and 2 close friends though where we post pics so for us it's a happy balance.


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

I think its down to what each person feels comfortable with. Any photos of our children are always from behind or the side, there is never a full face shot.  If we refer to them in a status its always by their initial and our family and friends have got into the habit too.  Its more difficult now DS at school and occasionally he turns up on other peoples (eg nativity etc)  However close friends are always very respectful and don't take shots of him.  They tend to ask if I mind them putting up a photo and we never tag him or us if its on someone else's wall.

If Im honest Im probably being over cautious with DS as we check regularly (BF has an unusual name) and there's no internet presence for him but DD's birth family are active ** users and are more local to us and so its likely that somewhere there are mutual associations.  It makes me feel better to know Im doing what I can but each person has to make their own decision based on what they know about their child's circumstances


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

We occasionally post face obscured pics, but very rarely.  We refer to him by nickname, and mostly people know not to use his name on ** etc.

But our situation is quite specific and there are security issues involved.  Although Bug had his name changed, that was done in foster care, and some of his birth family (those who are blameless and no security issues) are aware, so it's not secure.  Plus my ** profile was, at one point, a networking and marketing tool, so I have hundreds of friends who I don't really know.

If it weren't for the security issue, we'd have posted after the AO.  But there isn't a significant enough benefit to posting a pic to outweigh the potential (very remote, but still!) risk of harm.  

Just be really conscious of your security settings, especially with regard to re-postings and friends of friends.

Technically, photos posted to ** are then owned by **.  In practice it doesn't mean anything, but it's worth bearing in mind.


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

I started with a secret ******** group and added updates and photos once a day to that for key family/friends until the AO was granted. I was then pretty strict with photos for about a year, after which I massively relaxed. There's no security concerns with our LO however and now after 3yrs we are very relaxed and have no qualms about putting photos or videos on. It must be said though that I decluttered my friend list from 270 to around 80 friends and I regularly clear out my friend list once or twice a year. I also have very strict security settings on my ******** which I check regularly to make sure there are no changes slipped in when updates occur.


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

I must admit I have a huge fear of **....  you can find out so so much about a complete stranger, even with photo's of a dog as your profile pic it is public and makes your page stand out.

I was on **, same page for years, had pictures of my children on etc but had a secure page (so I thought)  out of the blue BM came up as a friend suggestion   That account closed immediately.

I am back on but use a different name and don't ever have a profile or cover pick,  I also have another account under a completely different name and use that to check my 'actual' page is secure and nothing can be seen   

x


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

I was very similar with social media. Only back head shots , not using name, cutting down friends list, strict security settings and telling others not to post pics. Then I got fed up with the site anyway. I felt sad I couldn't post face pics and talk more about LO so I made the break and left! Feel so much better for it! Do what you feels right for you 😊 Xx


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

OMG Wynster they came up as a suggested friend!!!!


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## Tw1nk82 (Dec 5, 2012)

Thank you everyone for your comments. Its one of them things that i feel we miss out on. I would love to put photos on of how proud i am of my little boy but i would never want to risk anything xx


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