# really nevous



## zipppy (Feb 7, 2006)

hi im rachel 28 married, been trying for ababy for 3.5 years with no luck, now on clomid been taking it since aug, find my consultant to be not very helpful. been told to take clomid for next 3 months but dont need to go to hosp for scans or blood tests really starting to get me down.


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## jo &amp; ian (Nov 27, 2005)

hi rachel, youve come to the right place   hopefully youve found the other topics by now , get joined in hun


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## bernadette (Feb 16, 2006)

hi rachel sorry to hear your feeling so   its prob because they not doing anything actively to help you . you do feel at a loose end wen you have no scans or bloods to do . i dont no wat the normal protocol is for nhs cause i live in malta just wanted to send you a   bernadette xx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi rachel and welcome to ff

Sorry to hear u are feeling down - u have definitly come to the right place for advice and support

Kate


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## jo &amp; ian (Nov 27, 2005)

to the ones that say "your turn soon"... i found being really blunt and obnoxious shut them up, they just dont realise how painful it is. 
but enjoy your friends children, my godchildren got me through the last few years, i love them to bits theyre gorgeous.
wierd how you suddenly turn into a baby and pregnancy magnet when you discover IF isnt it? at one point 3 out of the 8 women i worked with were pregnant - that was hell.


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi & welcome to FF 

Have you visited the clomid board ?

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,34.0.html

The ladies there are wonderful...lots of support and advice  They're crazy clomid chicks & are very friendly  

I ovulate naturally but took 6mths of clomid to "boost" (so produced and released more eggs)...however we're just about to start ivf next month.

I know what you mean about friends & babies...I've 4 friends who are pg at the moment (3 with there 2nd), as well as having other couple of friends who have just had babies...and we're pretty much only couple without even one child...it does get me/us down & the green eyed monster rears its ugly head sometimes...but have to stay positive that it will happen for us... 

Anyway, wishing you lots of luck   

Take care
Natasha


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## Natalina (Jan 11, 2005)

Hiya Natasha

Whereabouts are you starting your treatment. We are due to start ours in March in Guy's

I know what you mean about becoming a pg magnet. In my last job 18 women were pregnant in 18 months. I wasnt strong enough to cope with that so left, but still hear about a lot of them pregnant with there second.... It is really hard but I am trying to focus my energies on me and DH, not always succesful but hey gotta try.

Still keep smiling
Natalina xxx

P.S can you help me. why is it important to cut down on caffene whilst trying to get pg?


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## Frill (Feb 7, 2006)

Welcome to FF Rachel

I was on chlomid and only had to go in for one scan and set of bloods the first month and after that we were on our own really.   You're doing the right thing and going with your DH on hols to relax.  Try and have treats as often as you can - even little ones as they do help.  Just being able to go out to the cinema or a restaurant helps us as we say stuff like, 'if we had kids we'd have to get a babysitter' etc.

Jo and Jan - what were your obnoxious retorts?!  Would love to have some of those 

With some friends I find it easy to enjoy their children and with others it's really hard - maybe they are the friends that got pg with one nudge anna wink?!

Hang on in there and come here whenever you need some support.

Frill


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi Natalina

There is some controversy over caffeine whilst ttc/during pg...it's thought to effect fertility & also when pg it can cross the placenta & there were reports that it may cause miscarriage...if you search on the internet you'll find lots of info about it.
I've tried to avoid it as much as possible but do have the occasional cup of tea/coffee...I did change to decaf but apparently the chemicals used in the decaf process can be just as harmful !!! I think as long as in moderation (1 or 2 cups a day max) then should be ok but its personal choice.
I actually drink lots of herbal tea (mainly peppermint) but shouldn't drink any containing hibiscus (may cause uterine contractions).
I try to eat/drink as healthily as possible (lots of organic, especially meat & dairy) as I want best chances...

Anyway, we're having our treatment at Chelsfield Park Hospital (on my signature under photo)...we live SE London & decided that this was the best option for us & we're really happy with consultant and hospital. I start DR on cd21 which should be about 29 March - when do you start 

Good luck & take care
Natasha


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi rachel - it is true once u find out u cant have kids how u notice so much more of the pregnant ones around u

Also jo - i know its rude to do it but i have started being so blunt with ppl when u get that annoying question and it certainly shuts them up!!

Kate xx


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## jo &amp; ian (Nov 27, 2005)

it does most! i spent years listening to people telling me it'd be nice if i had a family, my mum would love to be a grandma etc.
final straw came when a guy that goes to the same pub as my mum and dad (therefore thinks he's a family friend - when really he's just that annoying guy that sits in the corner) came into work as a patient - we did his treatment and he chatted about how he'd just become a grandad (his daughters are about 3 and 5 years older than me) we oooed and aaaahd a bit then he looked straight at me and asked me how long i'd been married (nearly 9 years then) i thought he was just being nosey. till he started ... did i know my mum would like to be a grandma, she thought it was wonderful that he'd got a grandchild was i going to have kids, i replied "one day i just might" and smiled... then got the harshest lecture about "career women" who are more bothered about their lives than those of their families (how do you worry about your kids when you have none ? ) he rambled on at me for about 5 minutes about selfish women, putting themselves and their jobs first - and "wierd women" that just plain dont want kids - must seem too hard a life for them"      

after that - i decided that i wasnt going to take any crap anymore.
i was married at 18 - which is why i've been married for so long, and i tell you what - if i'd got married and started popping babies out he'd have been the first to have a go at me.
people like that make me sick, he's not worked for at least 24 years so what does he know about careers? he was never at home with his daughters (who he let get into their 30's without the lecture he gave me at 27) so what does he know about families? my friend who also grew up with his kids had her first baby at 17, followed by another 18 months later - he called her a ****. opinionated biggots like that should have their mouths stitched shut (its a shame he'd stood up and was by the door when he gave me my lecture - i worked in a dental practice)

so i'm just plain rude with some people. depends how rude they are to me. it ranges from:
"so do you think you'll have kids?" ..... "yeah maybe one day - but you have to have sex for that"
"have you got kids?" .."no".. "dont you want them?".. "yes"   (dont forget the eyebrow)
"why havent you got kids yet?" ...."becuase we're infertile" (stare hard into their eyes   )

i've people i havent seen since school if theyve got kids, but never thought to ask if they wanted them, or if they were going to have them, or why they hadnt got them... anyone who does that deserves to be made to feel like ****.


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## mads (Feb 20, 2006)

Hi Rachel,
Just wanted to say a BIG hello to you. I am on my 2nd cycle of clomid - didn't have any scans or anything to see if i was suitable, unless blood tests showed up something? My SIL is pregnant and baby due in April. It was hard enough when brother's wife said she was expecting their 2nd child ( had another boy in Dec 06 ) but i thought at least i could give my parents their first grandchild - wrong!!! Still apparently they are fairly certain it is a boy so maybe, just maybe we are destined to provide both sets of grandarents with their first granddaughter - have name already - Madeline Rose

Mads xx


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## daycj (May 11, 2004)

Ladies.  I so agree. Having IF makes you grow a thick skin.  Don't you think it is ALWAYS the people with kids that ask the question - "when are you having kids" "don't you want kids" "oh she's a career woman".  People should just mind their own business.  I have to say I have NEVER asked that question to anyone but maybe because I've got a bit more understanding of how tough it all is.


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

rachelle...
...nearly fell off my chair  can't believe your choice of names are pretty much same as mine  I've always said if have little girl then she'll be Lily and was thinking Lily Mae...although DP wants middle name after his nan & sister (Helena) & I wanted crossed with my mum's (Alana) so will be Lily Helana
...also liked Emelia Rose but friend called her little girl Amelia so not using that now...and as for boys, I like Max but DP not so keen 

Great minds think alike hey hun  !!!


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi jo - i loved your post there again about what to tell ppl when they ask u why u havnt got kids yet - i have noted them ready and armed to use!!!

Kate xxx


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## zp (Jan 8, 2006)

Hi Racheal,
welcome to ff 

It is always the ones with kids who go on about it  - like they need you to get pg to justify themselves (I think they are jelous of all the lovely time me and dh get to spend together).  In my meanest moments I like to gloat about holidays and romatic meals while their 2 year old poos on the floor BUT They have no idea how much it hurts and to be honest it doesn't make me feel any better.

What can you do....stick to single friends and find a few who have kids but arn't obsessed?

Go Jo go....your rant was fantastic. I think you sum up what we all feel sometimes (or most of the time with my fertile friends!)

love zp


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## sam mn (Feb 2, 2006)

rachelle,

welcome to FF, hope you find lots of support here.

i know what you mean about how hard it is when everyone around you is poping out babys with no trouble!

and jo thought your coments were wonderful re people queationing you. i have always replied i dont want children. but maybe in future i will try some of your frank coments. . it may be of benifit 

Sam
xxx


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