# Not sure what next.



## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi ladies 

This ay be a little jumbled but here goes. Brief back ground. 
When at school and asked what I wanted to be when I got olde. It was a mum. 
Lots of serious bf when younger. First long term bf was for 5 years and was unsuccessful. Then just didn't meet the right one. When I did we had 2 mc's. Then split

Now I have the man of my dreams in 2006. I have never loved or been loved like I am now. We are each others world. He has 2 children from his first marriage. They are 13 and 16. They are lovely and we have a great relationship. 
We have been ttc for the best part of 5 years. 1 NHS ivf. Ended in early mc. 1 fet on NHS. Bfn. Then went to Norway and at the ripe old age of 41 I got 28 eggs. 24 fertilised and we had 2 put in. Resulting in another early mc. The. A fet witH another 2 resulting in an early mc. We have just had our 2nd fet and got a bfn. 
I have had all level 1 tests. My clinic say my embryos look perfect. Yet still we are childless

Dh is so supportive and says he will do whatever it takes as he hates not beng able to give me what I want and he so wants our baby. But for me it is a little different. More then anything in the worlds want OUR baby. But I also want A baby. 
When we have his children over they always talk about things when they were little. I don't have any of those memories. I want to raise a baby and show it so much love. I want to see it take it's first step and say their first word 

I stll have 8 snow babies but am scared that it's getting less chances. I would be so interested in straight surrogacy but for dh I don't think he will get it. He has heard horror stories of babies not being handed over and that's all he sees. Also I think if he ever came round to the idea he would want host. As he would want it to be ours. 

I want a baby. He wants OUR baby. But say there is a problem with my embryos. I don't have the time to keep trying. 

It's so so hard. We have a great life. A lovely home. Great families. Yet this big cloud hanging over us and I just don't know what to do. Or if he will even think about it

Any advise would be so welcome right now. I even feel guilty writing this post as me and dh have no secrets and tell each other everything. But he has been in a course this week when I got my bfn. So just not been able too


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## Chicalinda (Sep 20, 2011)

Dear sweet nats

If you have a ******** account, join the surrgacy group i am on for advice and support from surrogates and intended parents. They are very friendly and supportive and will answer lots of questions you maynhave. 

Send me your ******** name and i will add you xx


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time.

If you're considering surrogacy, do make sure you do your homework and look at all the implications - including the legal side of things.  Surrogacy law here is outdated and you'll need to apply for a parental order after the birth to obtain full legal parental status for your baby.  The legal issues can be complex, especially if you're thinking about going abroad for surrogacy and it's best to make sure you know what lies ahead.  

Surrogacy is a fast moving area - there have been various new legal developments in places like India and Ukraine recently to be aware of too.  There's also been lots of recent coverage in the media which you can have a look at.

Best of luck

Louisa


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## Sweetnats (Jun 8, 2011)

Hi Louisa

Many thanks for your message, i am still awaiting to have some FET so hopefully wont need the surrogacy, but i have joined an amazing ******** group with lots of surrogates and ip that chat and it is a minefield, but at least i have hope now should my FET fail!

Many thanks

Nats


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