# 40th birthday - bit off topic



## Daizymay (May 13, 2010)

Hi all,
I've been on this infertility rolloercoaster for sometime now and I'll be hitting 40 soon. I've always loved a good party, but like many have withdrawn from the social scene over the years. However, as much as I'm dreading the big 4-0 (for it's obvious links with being too over the hill to have kids), I don't want to regret not marking it in style. Thing is, I just have no idea what to do. All i do know...I want it to be something unusual (not a bog standard party), maybe something that I woudn't be able to consider if I did have kids?? Any thoughts? I need a positive focus on turning 40.
Any ideas, however off the wall, welcome.
Cheers


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

Daisy,  For my 40th I walked 63 miles in Poland over 3 days the temp on day 1 was minus 25 bbbrrrr    .  Obviously this isn't for everyone      but it was something totally different and a birthday I will never forget, and even though I was one of the oldest ones I did it with much less complaint than some of the youngsters    .

I'm hoping to do some treking in the Himalayas or similiar for my 50th, for me its okay having a huge party but I'm more after good memories and the feeling of achievement i would feel.

Good luck with whatever you decide to go for

Shelley xx


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## Helenb33 (Mar 29, 2004)

Hi Daisy
I also turned 40 earlier this year. I was initially going to ignore it and head off for a weekend in europe somewhere with DH, largely because I'm sometimes very sad about my lack of children, and like you I thought that 40 would really bring that home to me. 

In the end though I had a change of heart and had two parties. On the day before my birthday I had an open house tea party with champagne for all my friends and family, and after a bit of thought I encouraged everybody to bring their kids and laid on some cake decorating/swingball/nintendo games for all the under 12's (and quite a few of the over 12's actually). Although it can be really tough sometimes, I've always tried to get to know my friend's kids, my nephews etc and to spend time with them, so I decided I wanted them to be part of it too. On my actual birthday I had a long boozy lunch with some old and dear friends, adults only. 

This worked for me, and actually reminded me of the good things in my life, as well as some of the missing bits. It's such a personal decision though. Nothing wrong with a trip away with your partner to a lovely hotel, or a life changing hike or a darn big party - I suspect your heart will tell you what it really wants. Whatever you do, I hope that it brings you happiness. 

Helen x


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## Daizymay (May 13, 2010)

Mish/Helen,
Thanks both for your replies - love both ideas, especially the treking - food for thought!
Any more off the wall ideas welcomed from others.
DAisymay


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## JDP (Sep 26, 2010)

Hi for my 40th in january we decided to forget about TTC for 3 weeks  - flew to singapore then went on a 5 day cruise to Thailand and Malaysia - spent 5 days in singapore then flew to Dubai for 4 days on way home - went up the Burj Dubai (or whatever its called these days) as it had just opened - i ate and drank whatever i fancied and it was great having a "normal" life for a change. Back to no alcohol/caffeine now tho and on my first IVP LP at mo - suffering really bad headaches


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## Helenb33 (Mar 29, 2004)

Hi Jude
Sounds like a fantastic birthday!
hope the headaches pass soon - I had rotten and fairly debilitating headaches for about 5 -6 days at the start of this ICSI cycle, but they have now passed I think. Take care of yourself
Helen


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## Daizymay (May 13, 2010)

Hey jude,
Sounds just what the dr ordered - i'm adding it to my list for consideration - cheers!
I had terrible headaches when I first started out on the drugs - they soon passed! Have a look through ya holiday snaps - maybe the happy memories will trigger endorphins to override the headaches?!?


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