# Having a bit of thinking time



## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

I haven't posted for a while. 
For the past few months I have almost switched off from everything and just plodded from one day to the next.  (I would imagine you all know that feeling).  This week I came crashing down to earth with a bump.  Everything has all built up and I think it just overwhelmed me, so in true female style I cried like a baby.    I don't think my dh knew what to do.  I felt angry and upset, and just generally rubbish.
We had started looking into adoption - just gathering general information, reading different websites etc. We were going to attend an info evening next week.  However, since my 'episode' the other day I have been thinking that may be now just isn't the right time to do this, and we need some 'us' time, which we haven't had in such a long while. 
I am also a bit concerned that ttc is taking its toll on us; baby-dancing becoming more like a military operation rather than having fun. I really don't want this to come between us.  I married dh to be with him, and not to just pro-create.  So now I am thinking that maybe we need to chill and take a step back from ttc, in order for us to cope with infertility issues in the future. I think we need to concentrate on the here and now and relax. 
It is so blooming hard isn't it.


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## cookies81 (Aug 24, 2009)

I have no words of wisdom to offer but wanted to offer my support


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## Nosilab (Jun 29, 2011)

Hi Flow

It is really _really_ hard  I think you're right, sometimes we just need to take a back step and put the baby making on hold for a while to live a little again, and bring some fun anspontaneity back into our relationships - but it is incredibly hard. Like you, I have to remind myself from time to time that I married my DH to be with _him_, not to spend our lives consumed by the baby making process.

Take care


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Hi Flow, I can relate to how you are feeling. Once you get into the ttc long term stage it does take over your life, everything revolves around it and it can get over powering. How about you take a couple of weeks out of the thought process for now, can you go away for a long weekend to spoil yourselves, perhaps with some walks in the countryside and some pamper/relax days and then come back to how you feel in a few weeks?! Maybe you are not ready to give up on a child of your own yet. I am truly sorry you are feeling so fed up. It is so difficult to get out of the viscious circle of ttc once you are in it.
Hope you can plan some nice days to give you that much needed physical/mental break from ttc.


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## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

Hi all, thank you for your replies. 
AF turned up today!   a couple of days early.  The one good thing is that we go away the middle of August, so it looks like I will get next af before we are away. 
I just feel so flaming angry/upset/frustrated all rolled in to 1. I am going to take the next month - and maybe a bit longer - to relax and have time for me. I am looking forward to getting away, so I think that will help. xxx


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## Nosilab (Jun 29, 2011)

So sorry to here that AF arrived    I think getting away and having a mini break will do you some good, I'm glad you have something planned   xx


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