# Sorry



## OneStepAtATime (Sep 14, 2008)

Sorry - this is going to be a long me post.

I need to keep a positive mindset and am looking for some help.

This is such a different cycle to my first IVF. So I need to stop comparing them. 

I had 13 follicles and they retrieved 11 eggs. 5 fertilised. And when I rang just now (day 2) one has already degenerated. They're getting me in this afternoon for transfer. I hope there are still 2 there when I go in. 

It's such a different mindset that I need this time. 

I'm still sore from the egg recovery, but need to be ready to take the embryos on board and nurture them. I will be trying to rest as much as possible over the next 3 days (not quite the complete bedrest Zita West recommends, but trying to relax and let them divide and implant). I have videos and books lined up for entertainment.

Things to be grateful for:
1. I did actually get to egg recovery. There was some kind of emergency with the previous woman and I was 1 hour 10 minutes late with the recovery - but they said the follicles looked ok and I hadn't ovulated. Thank goodness!

2. It only takes one. Of the 4 there this morning, one was 3 cell and three were 2 cell. So they have divided. 

3. My father is being incredibly supportive (driving me to the clinic etc). And will be there this afternoon, so whatever the news, I'm not on my own.

I don't understand why 2 cycles can be so completely different. Yes I am 6 months older. And this was with a new donor. Can cycles vary both ways? (could number 3, if I were to need it, be good again - or do you just get worse?)

I pray that there will be a chance of transfer this afternoon. I don't feel I can take anything for granted this time. Please may I get to transfer.    

Has anyone had a successful pregnancy from a day 2 transfer? The chances are lower than blastocyst but I am grateful for any chance at this stage.

How should I behave over the next few days to increase the chances of it working (if I do get to transfer)? How much store should I put in the bedrest idea? What helped you? 

I've got acupuncture at 12.30 and this evening. That's meant to help, isn't it? 

Sorry this is such a me post. I'm trying to keep in a good place mentally - it's just not so easy today.  
Best
OneStep


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## wizard (Nov 6, 2008)

Oh OneStep I'm so sorry this cycle is not as you had expected it to be.  From what I've read on here, I need to say 2 things: yes, cycles can be completely different and go from less well and then better from cycle to cycle.  When I went for my follow up last week my cons mentioned specifically that my next cycle could be different and it's quite unpredictable.  I've read of women who have had zero fertilisation on one cycle then 12 or so fertilised on the next.  I'm know it's impossible not to do but comparing cycles won't change what you have, which is 4, yes 4, embies.  Secondly I know of 2 women who got pregnant on a 2 day transfer (and read of many more on here) - some clinics do this as standard still.  And I wouldn't think of it as your chances being lower with a 2 day, they are same embies going back on day 2 as they would be on day 3 or 4, the only thing you won't know is how fantastic they will look on day 5 (PMA).  Another thought: We know blast is good because it means they've survived that long and cleaved normally but the majority of blasts still don't implant and I believe your embies have to be better in their natural home than a petri dish and in a 'natural' conception situation that is where they'd be right now.

As for how you should behave over the next few days, it's a very personal choice but from my perspective I don't think we can really control what happens - they will either continue to cleave and then implant or they won't, and if they don't it's because of the quality of the embryos or possible womb conditions, and I don't think we can really influence these things (immune treatments possibly the exception if required).  I so wish we could control it - I know on my first cycle I did everything I could to help my eggs etc and support implantation but still a BFN...  I'm not saying don't do these things, but I think it's case of if it makes you feel better than it has to be good, rather than if you do this it will increase the chances of it working.  For me I see it as rolling the right number on the dice when my turn comes and that hasn't yet happened.  If it doesn't work I don't think it's because I carried heavy shopping,  stayed up late or got stressed about work. The embies are tiny specks, not even visible to the human eye and are subject to the laws of chemistry, hormones and biology.

Having said all that you might laugh and think well she hasn't succeeded yet so how useful is that?!  I'm an active person and struggle sitting around and it would cause me more stress to try so I think it's about doing what feels ok for you.  Acupuncture will help relax you which has to be good.  If you can chill out a bit then do.  When women get BFPs it might be on their most stressful cycle ever with all sorts of things going on so there is no justice or rationale to this game.  Others look for what they did differently and then attribute it to that - perfectly understandable but we can never really know.  So I guess what I'm saying is do whatever you need  to do to feel as good as you possibly can.  I'll be keeping everything crossed for you and watching out for your post to say you've had a successful transfer.  

Take good care
Wizard    x


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## OneStepAtATime (Sep 14, 2008)

Thank you Wizard that was very very helpful.

I need to let go of responsibility I think - I've done my best, but ultimately I can't control this. 

Sorry once again - I have read posts where women find it upsetting that other women are posting about outcomes that they would find good. I don't want to upset anyone. I am a bit shocked at how different this cycle is. I pray that I will get to transfer this afternoon. 

Best
Onestep


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## wizard (Nov 6, 2008)

OneStep you have nothing at all to be sorry about.  You are disappointed and anxious and others' experiences  - 'better' or 'worse' do not change that at all.  Wishing you so much luck later    

Wizard x


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## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

One step, wishing you lots of luck for transfer. Can't add any advice to that given by Wizard already.  Do everything you can to nurture yourself and your future child/ren and try and keep positive and happy that everything is unfolding exactly as it should do. As Wizard says your embies are always best off when back safe inside you where they can snuggle up for the long haul. 

love & hugs, Felix xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Onestep     x x


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

onestep both my bfps through tx were from 2 day transfers and both were from only 2 decent embies.  HAng in there it really only takes one.

Oh have to go as one of those embies has just woken up and is calling for mummy....


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

OneStep I just wanted to give you a   and say that I am thinking of you and hope that ET goes ok     

Bingbong x


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## RedRose (Feb 17, 2009)

Hi all, 

    Can't add anything to the excellent info that the other girls have given as I haven't yet done IVF, but just wanted to say good luck for transfer and I hope that the embies stay strong, Onestep          ,
        wishing you lots of luck again, love Rosi.


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

OneStep, the others have said it all - I'm just posting in solidarity and to wish you every success this time around.       

A-Mx


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## OneStepAtATime (Sep 14, 2008)

I got to transfer!    

I have 2 x four cell embryos back inside me, and they have frozen one other. The other one had stopped dividing. 

Thank you for your posts. I really really do appreciate them. Today has been such an emotional day.

I am so grateful to have got to transfer. At least they're back inside now.  

The nurse I had today said her part of her MSc was looking at publications on the 2ww. Apparently 24 hours of bedrest seemed to lower the rate of success (they thought lack of blood flow might be a factor). So I am going to rest a lot, but potter about as well - doing nothing strenuous rather than nothing at all. 

Wishing you all a good and restful night.
Onestep


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Congratulations one step x x


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

great news now sending good implantation and growing vibes your way


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

great news onestep...sending you lots of positive vibes         
xxx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Onestep - so pleased you got to ET, and wishing you all the best for the 2WW....
  - it must have been a very stressful couple of days, but relax now and think positive thoughts, 
take care, 
Suitcase
x


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## winky77 (Nov 27, 2007)

One Step.....sorry you've had such an emotional rollercoaster today but I am so glad it has ended on a high note.....Wizard was spot on with her response....totally echo it.  The most important thing now is to reclaim your PMA and give those embies a stress free housewarming....you've got yourself at least one new tennant for the next 9 months !

lol
..Winky


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

One step thinking of you  x


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## Sima (Aug 10, 2008)

Good luck OneStep on the 2WW.  I hope it goes well for you.


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## going it alone (Feb 11, 2006)

Dig in little ones. So glad you got to ET and that you've got two embies in there. 
xx


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## Chowy (Apr 12, 2008)

Best of luck One Step, you deserve the very best honey.

Chowy and Pups


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## Candee (Feb 1, 2009)

Good-luck one-step       Keeping everything crossed for you hun   
Candee
x


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