# new and confused



## jax (Dec 13, 2004)

Hi, I live in Spain and have had several unsuccessful IVF attempts. My doc has now suggested using doner eggs as my ovarian reserve is so low. I had been expecting this for a while so its not such a bombshell but I am confused about things. On here it seems to be the general consensus that if a child results, it has a right to know that it comes from doner eggs/sperm. Here in Spain doners have to stay anonomous by law so there would be no opportunity for the child to trace the doner later in life. My doctor says that she advises (on the advice of a psycologist) not to tell the child and I tend to agree as what will the child gain from knowing that - they can't ever "find" their biological mother? But, I also know that it is a big secret to carry around with me for the rest of my days. It may all be immaterial as it may not work but I'm in a bit of a dilemma about the whole thing. I'm worried that I may feel differently towards the child as its not mine - that I may see traits I don't like and attribute them to the doner. Any words of wisdom would be welcome ladies. Thank you. Jax x


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