# 5 fresh, 2 FET. BfN today. Feel devastated. What now?



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

I'm 9dp3dt and tested at home today. It's a BFN. I A
am feeling so crampy so wanted to put myself out of my misery. Now I'm so devastated. I should have waited and then I'd know for sure. Although I feel my AF is coming. 

When do you stop trying for a 2nd? My DD was 4 cycles. Now I'm way past that trying for a second & want my life back. We've got another frostie, but it's only 7 cells and if these last 2 haven't worked, it has no hope. 

We've agreed not to do another cycle. But how do you ever learn to live with the grief of not giving your child a sibling? I feel I've let my DH down too. He's as desperate as me for another baby & I can't bring myself to tell him it's failed again.


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## Lara10 (Mar 3, 2010)

Hi Sienna, I didn't want to read and run as I know exactly how you feel.  I'm so sorry.  We also had our daughter after four cycles and have been trying for a sibling fir the last year and a half. My husband is also desperate for a second and I dint know how yo tell him that if this cycle doesn't work (currently in 2ww for an FET) that I'm not sure I can do this again.  I'm desperate for a sibling for our daughter too but like you said, at that point do you just need to claim your life back. It's so hard. 😔

That being said I think you really tested too early at 9dp3dt and you are still in the game.  I just wanted to tell you I know how you feel. Best of luck and take care. X


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## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

Thank you so much. I'm feeling so like my AF is due. I've got sharp cramps now so know it's coming. I just want it over so we can try and move on. Although like we've said, how do you ever move on? I'll never forgive myself, especially when my daughter starts asking questions. 

Wishing you lots of luck with your FET. 

X


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

Google dr. Jeffrey Braverman, a reproductive immunologist in Long Island. On his website, you can ask questions and even fill the form. He grants 10 min Skype consultation for free. Ask him for advise. You can't lose anything. I got my child after 5 transfers that were fresh and frozen.

GL!


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## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

Thank you, just filled out all my details so hopefully I'll get a call soon. Thx for the tip


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## Lara10 (Mar 3, 2010)

I'm with Dr Braverman and I think he's great.


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

He is. He knows what he is doing. Doesn't assume things. Everything is research and evidence based.


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## ricks3 (Jun 25, 2012)

Hi Sienna and Lara – today was my OTD and I have a BFN – this was our 4th round FET trying for sibling and I feel exactly the same as you – torn between wanting my life back and yet desperately yearning to complete our family for our DD. 

I am going to hope you did test to early Sienna and cross my fingers for your FET Lara.

Cosmopolitan – thanks for the tip I shall google him straight away.


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## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

So sore to hear that, it's heartbreaking every time. I'm on my last FET, probably have the transfer next week. Although they don't believe it will make the defrost as it's such bad quality. 
So we are giving up, I can't cope with anymore, it's been too much this time around 

Good luck to you 
Xx


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## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

Hi ladies, just had another FET and another BFN. I had my call this morning with Dr Braverman. But all he did was tell me to go on some supplements & recommended I went to see a Dr in Sydney, where I live. I didn't feel he even asked me much about my history.
So I wanted to check how he helped you? What treatment did he offer you? 
Thanks


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