# Help/advice needed



## pom2 (Aug 9, 2007)

I've been considering donating my eggs since before Christmas but put it off until I'd lost some weight. I've done that now, and so have been looking into the process more seriously. I have some questions, but I'm unsure if I can ask them here or if this board is for recipients only? I don't want to be insensitive but I don't know where else to ask. If I offend, I'll delete.

There are a few clinics local to me, both private and NHS. I assume that I could donate at either? Which would you suggest? 

Also, in my googling I've come across a few types of donation but some my info is coming from American sites. The types were known, open, semi-open and anonymous. Known doesn't apply here, anonymous doesn't apply due to UK law, and I presume semi-anonymous is the default position in the UK now. Do we have open donation in this country, or is that just the American equivalent of known? 

I have children but my family possibly isn't complete yet. Is this a problem, do you think?

Any other advice you could think of would be good too


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## Essex Girl (Apr 3, 2005)

Pom

What you are proposing to do is marvellous and you deserve every thanks for even thinking about donating your eggs.

As you are aware, the children of donor eggs or sperm in the UK have the right to trace their biological parent once they reach 18, so if you don't mind that, I would suggest you contact an IVF clinic near where you live and they can tell you what you need to know and help you decide whether to go ahead or not.  I don't know anything about donation abroad.

My sister gave me her eggs altruistically and she was told that it would not affect her fertility at all if she wants to have more children later on.  As you already have children, you would need to think about how it would affect them if in 18+ years' time, someone appeared who is genetically their half-brother or sister, and you will also need to consult your DP/H as it will affect him too.

The other consideration is that clinics normally like donors to be under 36, so that your own fertility is still in its prime.  Some clinics may accept donors a year or two older, but you would have to ask them.

If I can be of any more help, please feel free to ask

love Essex Girl


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## pom2 (Aug 9, 2007)

Thank you x

I know that the donation wouldn't be anonymous, but the terms open and semi open confuzzled me a bit. I've seen them used on US sites but not UK ones, so I guess they don't apply here.

The appearance of a child in 18 years time might be difficult, granted, but I think the overwhelming likelihood is that they will just be curious and want to slot the pieces of their genetic heritage into place and that's fine. Of course, they might not be told at all. 

My husband is supportive, as always, so far, and I'm 27 so ok on the age score.

Would you call a private clinic, or an NHS one? Does it make a difference? Is there a bigger shortage of donors/longer waiting list for recipients in either one?

Do you know if weight is an issue? My BMI is 27.


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## elaine01 (Jan 25, 2007)

Hi Pom2

It is wonderful that you are thinking of being an altruistic donor.  I'm in the final stages of waiting for donor eggs and hopefully next week we will have some embryos to transfer.  I am on the waiting list for donor eggs at 4 clinics and each one have slightly different criteria.  As it turns out I found my donor through another fertility chat site, IVF world, it is the only site I have seen people posting requesting help from a donor.  We ended up emailing and this wonderful 25 year old offered to help my husband and I.  Even though we exchange emails we agreed that we would not meet unless any resulting child wanted to trace the donor.  I have no pictures of the donor as it helps me not to know what she looks like if that makes sense.  For me finding a donor was a wish come true as she is giving all her eggs to us, which may mean that we have some frozen embryos so we could add to our family if we were very lucky.  Being able to email the donor has been such a help because I feel a little more in control of the process - so there is a semi-anonymous way to donate eggs.
From my clinic research it is a given that any clinic would snap you up, NHS or private.  The CARE set of clinics have the shortest waiting lists because they offer egg share.  The area I found a little disconcerting was how many eggs a recipient is likely to receive, most clinics say they aim for 4, the Glasgow GCRM aim to give women 6 eggs.  The GCRM do a through assessment of the donor egg potential and provide drugs accordingly, with the max number of recipients being 2.  Some clinics try to split a donation three ways if they get enough eggs.  My cynical thoughts are clinics are tying to get more money by doing a three way split, the donor is under more pressure to produce more than 12 eggs and each recipient pays the full IVF costs.
If you could chose them maybe an NHS clinic would be best because you would be helping a woman who could not afford to go private as each recipient cycle costs around £5,000.
The other place to get advice is the National Gamete Donation Trust, please google to get the web address.
I hope this information helps and good luck with being a donor, also, your BMI sounds good.


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## pom2 (Aug 9, 2007)

Thanks Elaine (and good luck for next week!)

Thank you for the information. There's such a lot to think about


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## fairy-god-mother (Mar 24, 2006)

Hi prom2

I've just been reading your posts and as I'm an donor I thought I would say "hi".

If there is any advice I can give or answer any questions please feel free to.

Being an egg donor takes a lot of patience and a lot of support from DH. I have found that most clinics pefer you to be finished your own family before donating as there is a chance that you could be damaged in the process and left unable to have more children so please bear that in mind.

You will be rquired to have a few blood tests and a chat with a councillor to make sure you know exactly whats involved and the risks involved - yes there are risks!!! 

You will then meet with Doctors who will go through the medication involved and possible side effects.

The process from start to finish can take several months and you will have to use a male form of contraception during that time - that's the bit that botheres my DH!!!

I'm not trying to put you off, more to make you aware. It's a great thing your planning to do but it's not an easy task at all.

Kay


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## pom2 (Aug 9, 2007)

Thanks FGM  

I know there are risks, but I think they have to be put into perspective. The risk of OHSS is relatively high, but the risk of permanently damaging my health seems to be very very small. 

As for my family not being complete, I guess I'll have to see what the clinics say. It must be very difficult to find donors (outside egg-share) if that's the case, given that women are starting families later in life these days and the max. age for donors is 36.

I contacted a couple of local clinics yesterday, so we'll see 

Can I ask, did you ever find out if a child was born as a result of your donation? 
How many visits to the clinic did you have to make?


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

My sister donated eggs about 15 years ago, and a close friend of mine donated to me recently.

The process starts with various tests (HIV, hep, karyotyping, cystic fibrosis, chlamydia etc) and counselling.

Then the donor goes through an IVF stim protocol - my friend did the short protocol, so no down-regging which was a relief.

Eggs are collected usually under seation, after a couple of weeks of monitroing scans.

The donor gets to leave a form with the HFEA, with info about themselves.

If you wanted to donate to a particular couple, there are some sites whicb link people together.


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## Dunnie (Mar 26, 2007)

Hi Pom

I just wanted to post to say hi and what a wonderful thing you are doing, helping to make someones dreams come true.  

Wishing you all the best,

Dunniex


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## pom2 (Aug 9, 2007)

Drownedgirl - which sites?

One of the biggest problems I have at the moment is that my local clinic doesn't tell the donor the outcome of the treatment, like some do. Whilst I don't see my eggs as anything more than cells, I would like to know the outcome of the treatment in order to stop my infernal curiosity/tell my children/prepare for a possible knock on the door in 50 years time   (but mostly the curiosity, lol)

That's really selfish of me but it's something I'm thinking about right now.


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Have a look here

http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/greenwood/679/index.htm

http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/community/

I have some links on my other PC I'll post when I am logged in there.

/links


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## pom2 (Aug 9, 2007)

Thank you, I'll look at those


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## A.T.C.C (Mar 13, 2006)

Hi there, ive just stumbled across this post and thought id reply .. if anyone still checks on here.

Pom2 you may have already made a decision and taken action by now.

I called my local womens hospitals Assisted conception unit and offered to donate my eggs. They were a bit confused cos its very rare that altruistic donors come along.

The donation is anonymous to the point you wont know anything about the recipient and all she will know about you is the details you give on the green forms you have to fill in.

There is such a huge shortage of donors in this country its an awful situation. So many people arent even aware of the need for donor eggs!!!!

If you decide to go ahead then i wish you good luck sweetheart xxxxxxxxxx


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