# SCARY PROCEDURES



## fallenangel101 (May 13, 2009)

Hi!  I am in a same-sex relationship and we want to have a baby.  My girlfriend has previously conceived with a previous partner, and now I would like to conceive.  This would be my first.  I am worried though as I have never had intercourse with a man and when I recently went for my first smear the nurse couldn't do it because it hurt me too much. I'm going to assume that if we manage to get IVF etc. there will be occasions where internal procedures will have to be done and I'm terrified that they won't be able to.


Has anyone else had this experience?


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## mrsww (Sep 1, 2013)

I am ok with internals but I know my wife would struggle if she had to do all the internals that are involved in the fertility process.  We are on our second cycle of natural IUI and so far have had three internal scans, a hycosy and two IUIs which are similar to a smear.  If we were to do medical IUI or IVF there would be more internals.  My wife says she would handle the internals if she needed to but she hasn't never had a successful smear so we would have to think of some methods to help.

I'd recommend looking into hypnosis and relaxation techniques specifically for fertility treatments.  When choosing a clinic make them aware that you will need extra support with internals, they may even be able to offer medical relaxation.  Also practice with a dildo as the first internal scans are with a camera shaped like a dildo.  Maybe practicing will help relax.  The dildo cam scans I find (although no dignified) are painless.  The actual IUI procedure the nurse inserts a speculum and both times she has not opened it as much as a smear and then puts the catheter in which I never feel and then my wife inserts the sperm.  It's a little uncomfortable but as the cervix is low down and open because of the time in cycle then it's ok.  

I hope you can find a supportive clinic and find techniques to work for you.


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## Louie34 (Oct 29, 2011)

Hi fallenangel101
I have been exactly where you are and completely understand your anxiety but wanted to reassure you. I have only been in a sexual relationship with my female partner. I have always had problems with smears and this time last year went for four attempts at smear tests at my doctors and a colonoscopy clinic.None of them resulted in me having a successful smear test and I ended up having it under anaesthetic in the hospital before starting my first Ivf  treatment last September. I got myself in a state about the procedures but my clinic were fantastic and very sympathetic and understanding. I found the internal scans fine as the probe is not very big and doesn't go far inside. Before my egg collection they gave a suppository and temazapam and it was absolutely fine. Then with my embryo transfer they made sure they used a speculum that they felt would be more comfortable and also gave me temazapam beforehand which helped me to relax. In fact the procedure was so quick that I had to ask my partner if the doctor had put the embryo in and  he had. My treatment was thankfully successful and I am now almost 30 wks pregnant. Talk to your doctor about having a smear under anaesthetic if you are really struggling like I did. Also talk to your clinic about your worries. Having temazapam before both procedures helped me enormously. I still worry about smears for the future but am going to ask my gp about what they can give me beforehand to help me relax. Good luck with your treatment and feel free to message me if I can help at all. Louie x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Tell the cliic about your fears, I am straight but have a tiliting cervix, so I have Egg collections and ET under GA- the scans are fine if they insert the camera in slowly. I've also had diazepam before procedures. Good luck TTC xx


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