# Just dont know what to do



## Princess Peach86 (May 30, 2012)

Ok so weve been trying for a baby for nearly 4 years now but its just not happening.
I have regular periods & ovulate so the GP sent my OH for testing....first time was November 2011 & the second test was this February (2012), both results were the same....low count & motility   With the first result the GP told us theres still a chance we could conceive *HAPPY ENDING* (or so we thought)... The second test results came back & a different GP told us theres no chance of us getting pregnant  

The second GP was (in my opinion) rude & had absolutely no sympathy at all. He told me if I really wanted a baby then I would have to leave my partner & find a fertile man or pay for treatment privately which we dont mind doing (obviously the latter part of that statement)....as I already have 2 children from my previous relationship, the GP said I may be being selfish in wanting more children  so 'give it up already!'  

I'm planning on getting a third opinion from a different GP as I want a definate YES or NO as to if we can get pregnant naturally. 

Am I being selfish in wanting another child myself & wanting to give my partner what hes always wanted, with or without treatment?
Should I do as the GP said & just give up now?
OR should I follow his advice, leave my partner & move on with my life??

I'm literally at breaking point without a definate answer & never been so confused in my life. We have the money for treatment but dont want to go ahead if we dont need to, I make myself feel sick every day with the stress of all this & now I really dont know what to do!

PLEASE HELP!!


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Princess,

Go for your dream and don't feel selfish at all about wanting another child with your new DP.  After 4 years of TTC I would definitely look at getting referred to a private Fertility clinic.

The problem with low sperm counts is that no one can say for definite if a natural BFP is possible.  If you search hard enough on this site, you will see women you have had children through IVF/ICSI and then got pregnant naturally despite being told it is impossible.

I have friends very close to me who tried for 2 years to have a baby.  Her DH was told that his sperm count was so low, that they would need a miracle to get pregnant.  They had ICSI treatment which failed and then 3 months later she got pregnant naturally and now has a son.  When he was one they decided to try again naturally.  She got pregnant within 2 months, but sadly miscarried.  Again she has now been trying for 2 years and not one hint of a BFP.

I am in a similar position.  My DH has a low sperm count, but with only one natural pregnancy in 7 years we feel like ICSI is our only option now.

It is such a hard thing to go through and whatever you decide I wish you lots of luck.

Stacey
x


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## Princess Peach86 (May 30, 2012)

Thanks for your reply Stacey  

Because I didnt have any trouble at all conceiving my other 2, I never thought this would happen. 
All I've ever wanted is to have 4 children, we can afford them & make sure they have a good life but all of this seems so unfair on us.
I'm determined not to give up & now with ICSI being an option I'm worried the money side will put yet more strain on our relationship, I know I'm being selfish in even having the thought of leaving my partner in my head but I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if I resent him for not giving me children but then I cant bare to be without him. 

I'm so glad youre friends had a positive natural outcome & hopefully we will both be in the same position in the not so near future. I have emailed a few private clinics & waiting for their replies, I'm going to get a third opinion from a different GP & see where we can go from here


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## vickster_77 (Oct 18, 2011)

That 2nd GP wants a slap in my opnion   That's just down right rude! There is absolutley nothing wrong in wanting to give your partner a child of his own!
I don't know where in the country you are, but it might be worth doing some research to find an Andrologist in your area to see if there is any underlying problems that is causing your partners fertility issues. Some male factors are not even investigated and if they were could be helped in order to achieve a pregnancy without the need for IVF.
Even just getting your partner on some reccomended vitamins (see male fertiltity threads), cut out baths, wear loose fitting boxers and an overall healthier lifestyle could all help. Don't just give up on the say so of an un-sympathetic GP!


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## Princess Peach86 (May 30, 2012)

Thanks for that Vickster, slapping him did enter my head while I was sat in his office haha. I'm in the Cornwall area. Because its my partner with the fertility problem the GP also said its down to me to do the research, medication (vitamins ect) & treatment if thats what we decide on. He told me to take Folic Acid which I have been but I dont really see how that will work if its my fella with the problems?! 
Think I'll be doing some more research online, send a few emails, make a few calls & seek advice from a different GP.
I dont plan on giving up as I know we can give another child a brilliant life (my other 2 are proof of this), whether we have one naturally or via treatment


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## vickster_77 (Oct 18, 2011)

If it helps the concoction my hubs has been on is:
Vitc  - 1000mg, Vit E - 400iui, Zinc - 30mg as reccomended by his andrologist
Pyconogel - 60mg and CoEnzymeQ10 - 60mg - from my research and the latter has been shown recently to help with motility.
He was also taking the wellman conception vits but these are pretty expensive for what they are.

Good luck and definitley don't give up!


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## madeleineus (Mar 12, 2011)

Princess------No do not give up if this is really what you want!! I have been undergoing IVF treatment for 10 years and FINALLY got a BFP!! We are "unexplained"----meaning that all tests show normal----and we have had ALOT of tests (uterine,clotting,immune etc....) After miscarrying at age 40 with own eggs we moved on to donor eggs. Cycle after cycle with our donor eggs failed---we had good looking embryos transferred each time. Money ran out for treatment in the USA and my research took me to my final decision to use a clinic in Spain called BCN IVF. We qualified for a shared donor/guarantee refund program using DE/DS. The first two attempts failed and I became desperate for answers since we were doing double donation now and nothing---not even a chemical beta. Something HAD to be going on!!More research brought me to my final protocol which was not prescribed by a doctor. Here is what I did. For 3 months I did accupuncture every 2 weeks. The accupuncturist had me taking some tea and pills to help nourish my blood. He also had me take Maca. If you don't know about Maca I HIGHLY recommend that you take an organic gelatinized good quality powder brand---I take Macasure and Sol Raiz. 1 tsp. in hot water with cream/sugar daily. I am usually skeptical about "wonder claim" products-----but I swear by this natural food---do some research  I took that for 3 months as well, to make sure it had a good chance to work on my body. Another supplement I took for 3 months before my last attempt is colostrum. I initially heard about intact colostrum for infertility but another board member took the Symbiotics brand and had success so that is what I decided to take as I can get it right at my health foods store. I took 3 capsules twice daily for 3 months. At transfer I took 4 capsule twice daily. And now after I take 2 capsules twice daily. Colostrum has immunoglobulins in it which is what alot of IVF clinics use IVIG or intralipids for. Same properties and no infusion or RX needed I would either use the intact colostrum which can be purchased through an online source or the Symbiotics brand. I also used a low dose of SQ heparin----1500 units sq twice daily on top of 1 baby asa daily. I did not take any steroids as my clinic suggested and they know nothing of my heparin use---but that is being supported by my US doctor. At transfer I did accupuncture before/after which was arranged by the clinic. I have continued all my supplements except my accupuncturist changed my chinese herbs to 2 different pill formulas to help retain the pregnancy. I had lost ALL hope that I would have success. I will never know what the magic bullet was but I wanted to let you know what finally worked for me. In all my other IVF's...at least 10+ cycles... I always had bleeding/spotting-----this time I have had NOTHING---not a drop I find out next week how many are in there Feel free to message me if you have any questions----but I swear by the Maca and Colostrum and heparin protocol helping me-----after 10 VERY LONG years of treatment.......It Can happen for you---do some research..formulate a plan....and don't accept "unexplained"  HugsXXXX


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Princess Peach, yep, theat 2nd gp was really helpful !!!  Glad you're not taking his daft comments to heart and following hs advice.
My hubby had a zero count, and after 6 months on wellman multivitamins, he had a million swimmers so we could use his input during our icsi treatment - rather than our sperm donor.

There are lots of avenues open to you, but as the girls have already said, don't give up - although my hubby had a zero cont, we also managed a natural bfp - sadly it resulted in miscarriage....but never give up hope 
Sheila


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## madeleineus (Mar 12, 2011)

Princess---one more thing----the Maca is supposed to be really good for husband's sperm----if that is a factor for you. Have him take it too---if he is willing


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