# Second time adoption



## Maccer (Feb 2, 2010)

Hello,


I am looking for some advice.  Around 10 months ago, our little one came home and he has settled in so well.  We are really happy and I just couldn't imagine my life without him, but he has also made me think about adopting again.  There are a few obstacles when it comes to this.  We have a 3 bed house which serves my Stepdaughter our son and us very well, I am wondering if we would be considered without having a spare room.  We are thinking of another boy so would ss be ok if the boys were in the same room?  Also my hubby is nearly 53, would this now be an obstacle? he is still very active with our son.  Our son isn't keen on the idea of a younger brother but we think that May change the older he gets.  I am just looking for any advice really, I would appreciate it. 


Thanks, 


Maccer xx


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## Belliboo (Dec 23, 2007)

Hi maccer

We're in the process of second time adoption just awaiting placement of AS half sibling, ad far as I know if they are not birth related I'm sure they have to have their own rooms but its worth asking your local agencies incase they say differently or someone else may be able to come on here and advise you otherwise.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Different experience here we are first time adopters but going for siblings. We spoke to a few agencies and at the time were in a two bed.  All said we needed to move before they would start the process to approve for siblings due to the need for a bedroom each.  So we we moved to a four bed. Although they may share initially if that are  used to sharing in foster they want the space long term.  However we live in the North I have heard in London etc rules can be different x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Hello, we have recently been approved to adopt for a second time at the ripe old ages of 48 and 52 years of age!!! 1st time round because of our ages we wanted siblings aged 5+,  we then found our son who was a singly hence going through it all again! the SW wanted as big an age gap as possible so we said 3-6 this time which was pushed down to 2 at panel, and I have to say I have been really surprised by the amount of interest we have had from SW who have the younger age group, we have also gone with a preference for a girl all though we don't mind as SW think this would be easier on our son.
On the room front we had friends who adopted a brother and sister and only had a 2 bedroomed house so they shared, so it is possible, think it just depends on assessing agency and placing agency.
Good luck.


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi 

Most agencies want a child to have their own room, especially long term, though are OK about same sex siblings sharing to start with.  None related children would from what I've seen be expected to have their own bedroom from the start.

Re age gaps...we have a 4 year age gap and with experience I would now go for either a 2-3 year or considerably larger age gap.
Good luck
OT x


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Exciting times!  It's funny about the room thing really.  I had to move to separate my business and home and although I have three bedrooms, the girls will be sharing a room as I think it's healthy for siblings to share. 

Some of the demands of SS only place additional financial strain when their rationale can be a bit skewed - many families with birth children have them share a room. 

SummerTilly x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

SummerTilly said:


> Exciting times! It's funny about the room thing really. I had to move to separate my business and home and although I have three bedrooms, the girls will be sharing a room as I think it's healthy for siblings to share.
> 
> Some of the demands of SS only place additional financial strain when their rationale can be a bit skewed - many families with birth children have them share a room.
> 
> SummerTilly x


I have to agree with SS on this one. Introducing a new sibling that's not a baby is stressful enough anyway, without the added stresses of sharing a room. I can say with absolute certainty that Bladelet and Wyxling sharing a bedroom wouldn't have worked. We considered it and decided not to in the end, and I'm really glad we did. Adoption involves so many extra stresses for children anyway, having a complete stranger in the same room is just not ideal in a lot of cases.


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## Maccer (Feb 2, 2010)

Thank you for all your replies, I will contact our LA and have a chat to them.  The more I think of it, the thought of asking our little one to share doesn't make me happy, there would be such a massive change with him having a younger sibling, and adjusting to not having me to himself but I guess I was hoping it would be possible.  I would still want him to have his own space that he could retreat to if needed. We do have a dining room which we could use as a spare room and could probably ask my Step daughter to move into that room but her room is already on a different floor and I know of friends that have had this questioned by ss before.  Also if we decide to go for another one it wouldn't be a biological sibling to our little one.  So they would probably say no to them sharing.  I love our house and would hate to move, causing more unrest for our DS.  Thanks again for all the advice and personal experiences. 

Maccer xx


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Hiya Maccer, we're in a similar position -LO came home a year ago and we're planning on applying for no 2 next year -wanted to  from now originally but decided to move to a better location. We're going from a small 3 bed to another 3 bed but the new house has the potential to expand into 4/5 bed fairly easily as roof not been touched yet and all rooms are doubles so the master room could be changed into two small singles if needs be. It's also closer to friends, work and good schools.


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