# Best friend told her other friend about my plans



## Amelia81 (Mar 2, 2014)

I've been quite open about my solo motherhood IVF plans with my closest friends and family, it's important for me to have that support throughout the process. Today I was bridesmaid for my best friend. Whilst having the meal I was chatting about kids to one of the other bridesmaids who I met a couple of times through wedding plans but isn't actually a friend of mine. Whilst we were chatting she asks me how my IVF was going. I was really taken aback that she knew. Once it happens I don't mind people knowing, I would rather that than them think I had a ONS, however I felt like it was too much her knowing and asking about it this early on.

I don't really know how I feel, I haven't specifically said to my bf not to tell others but I would have thought it was pretty obvious? I carried on chatting as if I was fine with her knowing and then put it to the back of my mind as didn't want to spoil the day but now I'm home it's kind of bothering me and I don't know what to do. I almost feel a bit betrayed but maybe I am overreacting. It's probably my fault for not being so specific about keeping it between us.


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

I experienced the same except at a party where ALL of the guests knew!

Suffice to say I no longer maintain contact as she broke my confidence and wasn't putting my lo's wellbeing first. My lo is not to be the subject of idle gossip.


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## Amelia81 (Mar 2, 2014)

How did you handle it? Did you explain how you felt and find out why they did that?


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Sorry to hear you are feeling upset about this, I can see how you feel - it's one thing telling close friends and family but quite another feeling that everyone knows...especially when you are only at the early stages of  ttc   


That said, if you didn't tell your friend not to tell anyone then perhaps she just thought you were completely ok with it being public knowledge - it may even be a compliment that she is proud of you and your plans and wants to tell others about it   


Think you just need to have a quiet word, no big deal but let her know that whilst you are still ttc and in the early stages, you'd rather it was something private which just close friends and family know about. Am sure she will understand 


x


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

I would discuss it with a friend of mine and ask her to be more private. When my friends were ttc and undergoing treatment, it was obvious for me to support them throughout their journey. It was also obvious for me not to betray that trust. But yr friend might want others to know about yr plans to be there when you need.


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## Amelia81 (Mar 2, 2014)

I'm hoping it's out of excitement for me that she has told her. This other girl is also her bf and bridesmaid so it's not like she told just anyone and everyone. She might not have thought it through that I don't know the other girl very well so it's not the same for me. If anything I thought the other bridesmaid shouldn't have asked me about it and waited to see if I mentioned it.

My only niggle is not knowing in what context they were talking about it. That's making me a little paranoid and insecure.


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Amelia81 said:


> How did you handle it? Did you explain how you felt and find out why they did that?


I said was told in confidence and didn't want it public knowledge. She took approach I should be proud and that plenty of women were interested in doing the same and I was virtually a pioneer!

Sadly I don't want this public so have parted ways. Brutal but bits my lo's genealogy to share if-when lo knows.


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