# This is it, I just can not do it any more ...



## Liz11 (Oct 28, 2004)

Today I had the phone call that none of my embies made it through the screening PGS. I had 11 eggs collected 9 fert and they were able to take cells from 8 of them for PGS but they were all abnormal = so after £9000 and 3 months on this cycle I can no longer do it  

I can say we have at least tried. I have had a total now of 10 Full IVF's two with ICSI not counting the IUI's 

I need to accept and be greatfull for my lovely little girl and come to terms with the fact she will always be an only child 

I wonder if it gets easier to accept , it will seem odd now after years and years of txt's to just stop ....

I have found this site to be a godsend to me at 3am with my cuppa and when I just cant face going over it all again with my hubby - 

I wish everyone on this site and who read this post all the luck and strength in the world to archive your dream


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## larkles (Jun 29, 2005)

Hi Hunnie 

Aaww-can understand how you're feeling, only we haven't had our "one" yet 

our 1st de treatment this month, feeling scary of past treatments we have had and turned out bfn...10 IVF's sweetie is a lot to go through, you were brave to do all of those, I know from my treatments that any more would've sent me over the edge

Chin up,  you have a wonderful daughter, I really think you need to take a break-is hubby up to taking you somewhere nice and sunny? I wish we could afford to go after our et but think best to stay at  home and save the money-our private treatment is enough to break the bank 

Lots of love

Larkles
xx


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## suzy (Oct 12, 2003)

Liz,

I am so sorry about your cycle. You must be gutted. I hope you can come to some kind of peace with your decision and move on. Your little girl will have all your undiluted love - I'm sure she won't suffer being an only child.

I wish you all the happiness in life,

Suzy


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## Hun (Jul 14, 2003)

Liz - Sending you huge hugs. There are no words, I'm sorry you have reached the end of the line, and hope you can find the strength to put this part of your journey behind you, and enjoy the future with your precious daughter. You have tried and you can do no more....

Hun xxx


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## Liz11 (Oct 28, 2004)

Thank you all for your lovely thoughtfull messages sharing your experiences with me, we all have our stories to tell that are so sad and seem so unfair. 

This week has been odd, it is like someone has died but I also have this strange I think the work is relief...I am hoping all will get better with time .. 

One this is a strange thing for me - I know this is it the end of the line. they say you know when enough is enough and I wasn't sure but you do in your heart. 

I have been looking for books or giving some thought to counselling to help me come to terms and closure. 

I will log on if a few months from time to time to let you all know how I am doing and how it feels.

take care you all


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## Succotash (Feb 25, 2005)

Liz,

Such a sad post your first one but your last one quite uplifting.  I'm so sorry that this has happened but it seems this knowledge will help you come to some peace.  Probably quite cold comfort just now.  

I think the counselling is a great idea.  I see a therapist and she can work wonders in just one hour.  It's liberating to have a safe place to get your emotions out without judgement and without worrying about in any way upsetting the person who is listening.  It helps to re frame our experiences, that way energy is freed up and it's possible to move on.  It's just great to quieten the negative thought patterns.

Your post struck a chord with me too as I'm at UCH and about to embark on PGS.

I wish you peace, contentment and fulfillment.

Love Succotash


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## HollyB (Sep 14, 2004)

Liz,

This really struck a cord with me too. I'm trying to decide whether to give it one more shot before giving up. It's so difficult to give up. When you've had one miracle, you think that it might just happen again. I have been at the ARGC for my last 3 cycles but have just have a consultation at UCH where they also recommended I try PGS to give me some form of closure. I think they think I will get a similar result to yourself ... which I believe in my heart is probably what will happen. Just trying to decide whether to save myself the £9K and give up now.

Take care of yourself. Your little angel is one lucky little girl to have such a super Mum. I hope that the healing process begins for you now.

Holly


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