# The next step after a failed IVF cycle?



## Caroline1759 (Sep 10, 2009)

Hi everyone

thought i'd join the over 40's forum. I was looking at the thread about having a BFN and what to do next but reading through recent posts, it appears mainly ladies who have had a BFP are chatting, so thought i'd just open a new post as be great to hear any advice or feedback.

I was on the April/May current cycles thread as had my first full cycle of IVF recently. Initially it went ok. I'm 45 (just!) and had 6 follicles, 4 eggs collected and 3 fertilized. 3 high grade embryos transferred back into me on day 3. Unfortunately my AF arrived 8 days later and 2 days after that i got a BFN. This was just last Friday. Obviously i'm very sad and like everyone, just dealing with the rollercoaster of it all. 

However this was my first full cycle of IVF and i have decided not to give up hope just yet, despite my age. I am also (recently) single, so using DS. Unfortunately, i never had children as i held out for Mr Right to appear and thought several times he had, but alas not. Also unfortunately, i ended up in some horrendously abusive relationships, because i was so deperate to meet someone and start a family and i realise now i was very vulnerable. It has taken me a long time to deal with the fall out from that. But after a huge amount of consideration i decided just to go for it by myself.

Anyway, i actually had my eggs frozen 6 years ago and have 16 in storage (after a relationship broke down and i wanted more time to try to meet someone and start a family). However, i now know live births from egg freezing (i had the new vitrification method) are not high numbers. So it is still very experimental using them (and probably in hindsight i would have done frozen embryos, not frozen eggs, but i wasn't given the full information on options at that time).

So, my dilemma now is whether to try another cycle of IVF using fresh eggs. But is it worth it at my age? Or forget that option and try using my frozen eggs, which may not even survive the thaw process, let alone anything else?

I could probably afford one more cycle of IVF but not more than that. I know lots of over 40 ladies have immunes done. That was never discussed with me before but i'm wondering if it's something i should look at? I know the most likely reason my IVF failed is because of the age of my eggs though.

Or do i just forget both the above options and go for donor egg, which is, statistically, likely to give me the highest chance of pregnancy. But then, is it ethical to use both DE and DS, as a single woman. Is that not too selfish of me?

Be grateful for any advice - and success stories - especially from women my age. I really don't know what to do!   

Many thanks

Caroline xxx


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## Talkingfrog (Apr 17, 2014)

Hello Caroline,  

Sorry to hear about what has happened.  Have you had a follow up appointment following your cycle yet.  It is a good idea to write down any questions you have before you go as it is easy to forget something.  If you think that they may not be able to answer some of them straight away maybe you could e-mail them the questions before the follow up. 

Have you thought about a combination of both fresh eggs and frozen eggs in the same cycle.  I don't know if it can be done, but I am sure people have posted about using both own and donor eggs in the same cycle -  that way if they don't get many of their own eggs at least they have some to fertilise.

Good luck.


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## Caroline1759 (Sep 10, 2009)

Hi Talkingfrog

thanks for your reply. I hadn't thought of trying to use fresh and frozen eggs as an option so thanks for the suggestion. I have a follow up appointment booked with my consultant but the earliest he can see me is in 3 weeks. I will email him my questions first, so thanks for that suggestion too.

xx


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## Altai (Aug 18, 2013)

Hi Caroline - its great you had thought about freezing you eggs. the idea  never even crossed my mind.
Hope you app went well. 
if I were you (and had frozen eggs) I'd have tried  oe first and then combo oe/de if oe only  didn't work.  
I am planning the same but second part only   currently doing embryo banking, then will do combo oe/de cycle.
Must admit banking part doesn't go according to plan.  

best luck with your next steps


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## Caroline1759 (Sep 10, 2009)

Hi Altai

Thanks for your message. Do you mind me asking why are you doing embryo banking? Sorry for ignorance, I'm not entirely sure what that means?

X


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## lilybird2003 (Oct 15, 2004)

Hi Caroline
do you mind me asking which clinic you are using in London
thanks
Lil


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## Altai (Aug 18, 2013)

Caroline - am doing embryo banking as have been  hoping to get enough for PGS. Though not sure now that  expense is justifiable with the numbers a I have had so far...

Hope you app went well. 
A.


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## chooshoos (Dec 18, 2014)

great thinking banking your eggs 6 years ago - with these you are basically working as a 39 year old, as you know the chances after roughly 35 start to go down very steeply so you are in a super position. 

we are also 45 and decided to go straight to DE becuase of the success rates at our vintage, we got a BFN round one with a 31 year old donor and 2 x 5 day blasts transfered, go back for a round 2 next month. 

If I was in your position, I would definitely capitalise on the frosties you have, why would you have frozen them otherwise, and maybe if its not too pysically arduous go for a fresh tandem, everything crossed that would work, but in case it did not I would consider DE maybe another tandem

all the very best, wish you every single drop of success
stay strong


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## Caroline1759 (Sep 10, 2009)

Hey everyone

Thanks so much for the replies and advice. Really appreciated.

Apologies for the late response. I've had to take a little time out away from thinking about everything as was feeling quite overwhelmed.

Anyway I have my follow up consultation this Thursday. Lilybird - I'm at the Lister Clinic. Chooshoos and Altai, best of luck with your treatment, I hope it goes well.

Thanks

C xxx


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