# Advise Needed on moving 10 month LO to own room



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

I was wondering if anyone has any pearls of wisdom, our LO has been home for 8 weeks now and on the advice of FC and placing authority he has slept in a cot in our room as he hadn't moved to his own room at FCs. To begin with he was a dream to put to sleep, you could put him down say good night and just walk out and he would settle himself. Then teething started and he started crying if we just out him in his cot, he's also now learnt to stand so the other problem we have is that as soon as he's in this co the just wants to stand up and is so pleased with himself that he's been able to do so, even in his sleep bag. We've ended up keeping him on our bed until he has fallen asleep which is anything between straight after milk or sometimes for 30 mins, most of the time it's only a few mins. He does have a cold at the moment so for the last few days he just screams when I try and put him down for any of his sleeps, but I'm hoping this will pass when he's over his cold   


We want to move him to his own room as every day he's becoming more aware. We play in his bedroom a fair bit as it's all set up for him and were usually in there a couple of times a day to get clothes etc. does anyone have any advise as to how we manage the move to his own room?  I do have the added complication that he isn't sleeping through the night and more often then not if I can't get him to settle with susshing or cuddles he comes in our bed, DH sleeps in another room most week day nights as he has to travel a lot for work and I don't want him to be tired and not concentrate on driving. Recently LO has been awake between 30-60 mins in the middle of the night. I'm worried that if I move him to his own room it's just further for me to go to try and settle him and I'll just end of having a lot of broken sleep. 


Any help would be appreciated. Thanks


----------



## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i think you can get baby monitors that are two way so you can talk to them, would that help?


----------



## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

That is tough! Our DD was 11 months and went into her own room from day 1; SS said to put her in ours but FC said not to as she already slept on her own. Little man at 5 months went straight in with his big sis as was also used to sleeping in a room just off the FCs.

How about you start off with a few days of naps in that room? Get him used to the idea of sleeping in there, buy a lovely cot mobile, soft blankets and teddies in the cot etc then when you feel it's time, just pop him in there one night? Our DD napped in her new room a lot to start as contact was mainly at our house; the first night was no issue at all, but she was used to going to sleep in there already.

The second idea is to buy one of those comfy rocking chairs. I got mine off gumtree and it pushes back enough that if my son is unsettled I can rock him in there until he drops off and put him back in his cot whilst being comfy enough to sleep myself if u needed to, although this is infrequent as I'm pretty strict about bedtime being for sleep (illness obviously excluded) and being there can make it worse if it goes on more than a few nights. We also used the chair for the dream feed which he has recently dropped, and for morning milk and cuddles / story time after the lunch time nap.

It's one of those things that might be really easy or really hard but I imagine you are all disturbing each other quite a bit; mine snore and snuffle and sometimes sing in the middle of the night or wake to chat for an hour....having either one in my room would be too tough but I am pretty horrible when sleep deprived  

All the best

X


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks MummyElf, I wish we'd put him in his own room when he moved in, however the advise was to put him into our room!  I have thought about moving the travel cot into his room and see if that works, the problem is he hardly had his daytime naps in his cot, it's the pram or my bed, I tend to find he'll sleep for longer, when it's in his cot it's 45 mins max.  Perhaps I just need to bite the bullet and just put the travel cot in his room and try it!  His SW is coming tomorrow so will see what she says as well.

Gold bunny our monitor doesn't do this, although he usually needs picking up rather than just a chat!


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy (Jan 16, 2012)

Our lo was 10 months and still sleeping in FC room and we where adviced to do the same but I was adamant I wanted to start as I mean to go on so from day 1 he slept in his own he settled straight away. 

I'd just try it honey and see how you go on you may also find he might start sleeping through. 
On the odd occasion little man has stayed in the same room as us like in a hotel egg he's always woken in the night because he can see is where as at home he sleeps straight through. 

Wishing you the best of luck xxx


----------



## Belliboo (Dec 23, 2007)

Hi our LO was 17 months when he came home so a bit OLder & still slept in FC room so we were advised to put him straight his own room which went well although for the first few nights I did rock him or stay with him til he went asleep & he also has a teddy that plays lullabys to him whilst they go asleep, we have tried this technique too with AS 2 who came to us at a similar age of your LO, as he had never been in his own room & its the best thing we ever did they both go in their own rooms & listen to their teddies which sing them to sleep xx


----------



## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

I've got a Bella the Butterfly which sings, has a nightlight of stars projected etc and I put it on every nap / nighttime.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Summer-Infant-Slumber-Buddies-Butterfly/dp/B00423GXAW/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby&ie=UTF8&qid=1391016599&sr=1-1&keywords=bella+the+butterfly

Ref waking in the cot after 45 mins, might be that you have to leave him to get back to sleep as we had to do thus with our son who had not napped at all in foster care bar the occasional 20 minutes (A DAY!). After two weeks of letting him resettle himself sometimes going in sometimes not, he now sleeps for 2 hours straight every lunchtime. I did the whole going in, patting and shushing thing but not speaking and ultimately leaving - kind of 'I'm here but you still need more sleep darling' was my style...it just got to the point where he'd wake after 40 mins, let out a yell, then go straight back....to sleeping right through.

I think you'll find it easier if you get more structured by not letting him sleep on your bed or on you etc but it might mean a couple of tricky weeks getting used to it, I found it very hard but my goodness it's paid me dividends and I'm so glad hubby kept me strong!


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks everyone for the tips, his social worker is visiting tomorrow so I'm going to broach the subject with her also, I'll move the travel cot into his room tomorrow and see if I can get him to sleep during the day in there and then perhaps next week move his cot into there, unfortunately it won't go through the doors unless we take it apart so can't just move it back and forth.

Any tips to try and get him to stop standing in his cot when it's time to go to sleep?  I think everyone's right in toughing it out, but not sure how he's ever going to get to sleep if he's standing, he has very strong leg due to being in door bouncer every day at FCs so it's not a problem for him to stand for 20-30 mins :O


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi SG,

My little boy would stand for ages and had lots of sleep issues. I would just lie on the floor next to cot and close eyes and kid on to sleep. Eventually he would get bored and end up lying down. However I did secure blankets/towels around the wooden full cot ends as he bumped his head once or twice. 

Ps I would try your first night after a really tiring day as you may find LO will surprise you.
X


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks Gertie, will give that a go 😄


----------



## Bunny Face (Jan 20, 2008)

Hi Summer Girl, 

My DD was 10 months old when she came home too and also slept in the FC's room.  We had terrible problems with sleep during the first few months.  You can look back at some of my posts!

We initially had her cot in our bedroom but after about 8 weeks we were desperate and tried everything; moved her cot into her bedroom, moved it back again, placed a mattress on the floor in her bedroom and in our bedroom, used a sleeping bag and then back to a quilt. 

I would have tried hanging the cot from the ceiling and sleeping underneath it on a bed of nails if I'd have thought it would work....desperate times!! 

DD hated going to sleep and we would have to hold her tightly on our lap to encourage her to stop squirming and sleep.  It would take anything from 10-30minutes of squirming and crying.  It wasn't pleasant.

Anyway in the end, what worked for us was teaching her to self sooth enabling her to get herself to sleep...we used the 'sleep lady shuffle' (Kim west) and in the first night alone she went from waking 10 times on average to just 4.  We did the shuffle in our room to start with and then repeated it about two weeks later when we moved her to her own room. I also use an aromatherapy sleep mist.

She still isn't a great sleeper but she goes to sleep on her own without any distress and wakes on average about once a night.  We did have a few months where she slept through the night but a bout of illnesses in October followed by teething problems have really messed her around and she's struggled to settle since. 

I would recommend the sleep lady shuffle as it's not too distressing for your LO. If you're not ready to move your LO into their own room yet then just try it in your room and then repeat it when you are. 

Good luck 

X


----------



## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

excellent advice already given and I think you should just give it a go.
Our little man was 8 months old and was a nightmare in his cot - so much so he broke his leg through the bars but that's another story! He would stand for ages, throw himself around and basically saw it as a lovely bouncy castle! He also wouldn't sleep in it. He was used to falling asleep down stairs and would nap for only 20 mins and wake several times through the night.
We started as you have done with lots of playing in his room and then we tackled sleep time. For a while I made sure we were always home for nap times, it was hard but I was very strict about it. I bought a really comfy nursing chair and down loaded a load of books on my kindle . I tried sitting in the chair reding until he fell asleep but that made things worse because he had an audience so I tried sleep by association. I had a lullaby cd, a sling and his sleep suit. I religiously did the same thing every night- bath, cream, music on, sleep suit on, into sling, always saying the same thing, milk feed and stood rocking him to sleep. If he woke in the night I did the same thing apart from the sling and milk.  It was hard at first, and exhausting but soon it took less and less time for him to fall asleep. I did the same for his daytime naps (apart from bath and cream!) After a short time he began to associate the sleep suite and music with sleep time, he would start to suck his thumb and actually try to get into is cot after his milk. He now goes in awake, chats to himself and sleeps 6.30 - 7.30-8.00. You could start a routine in your room and then transfer it to his. We have stayed in several places and touch wood, as long as we  stick to his routine we have no problems where it is done. 
We found that as his night time improved and he started sleeping through so his day time naps also got longer. He now sits up after approx 45 mins, adjusts his illow and goes straight back off. If he doesn't we know he is ill.

Have to be honest i have tried sleeping with little man and its a nightmare. he is a wriggle monster and makes soooo  many noises i dont know how you do it lol. Good luck because keep depravation is a killer.


----------



## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Great advice here! 

Ref standing up I just kept lying my daughter back down when she did that (aged 11 months) without speaking or making eye contact. I gave it zero attention and it didn't last long. X


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

If he struggles try moving the travel cot say 30 cm a might each night. So it goes into his room slowly and isn't a sudden change.  It's a technique that works really well for autistic children.  Might be useless but worth trying if he's struggling x x


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks everyone for your advise I think after last night it's me that I think will struggle, he generally can sleep through and needs a few susshes and I think I'm a bit worried that I'll not hear him start to stir and it will esculated in a full blown wail! Having said that last night after a quick sush at 4.20 he after having a small wingy 20 second cry settle himself, he I'd then wake every 45 mins and this is what I think I need to work out how to tackle. He was fully awake by 5.50 and no amount of susshing was working so we got up! He does fall asleep by himself in the day if I put him in his pram, if he's tired he doesn't need rocking and at FC pre walking and standing he did fall asleep by himself in his cot. So I'm sure there. Is a way for him to get back to this. He has been teething which has thrown everything off and he has a cold at the moment. 

I did read up a little last night on the sleep lady shuffle and last night tried the quick sush when he woke up around 4 whereas previously I'd have picked him up and put him in my bed so again will just keep this up, will try the putting him in his cot this evening and if he stands put him down once and then leave him to sit down when he's ready. 

It's been great to have this forum and I really appreciate all the advise 😄 one more question do other mummies have any form of night light in LOs own room? We don't have any in our room and he seems comfortable in the dark so I'm thinking when we move him we shouldn't put a night light in his room but not sure if this is the right thing to do when he's on his own?

Have a great day everyone.


----------



## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

We don't have a night light - well, we do, but we don't use it - as neither child has ever expressed any issue with the dark. We used it a couple of times with DD was first home thinking it might reassure her if she woke up but it kept her awake so we haven't used it since. As my mother-in-law said to me when I mentioned it 'darkness is perfectly natural'


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

I echo ME, little man needs complete darkness so I only use if I need to find something in dark. I think they're more useful for when they get bit older and start being aware of dark iykwim.
X


----------



## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Most helpful thing I've found with Bladelet who also slept in f/c room, in general, is that he is much happier sleeping in places he's used to waking up in.  When he sleeps somewhere new I get him off to sleep with me and put him in while he's asleep, then just make sure I'm sat in the room when he wakes up the first couple of times.  I also find it helpful to put him in there for a play during the day time and stay with him to play, just to get him being happy there.  I put him in the cot and played with him for a bit, then started going out the room for a little while, but door open.  I find that if he wakes in the night now, he usually just has a little sing and a play with his toys and goes back to sleep again in 15 or 20 minutes.


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks everyone, I put him in the travel cot for his sleep this afternoon, he'd fallen asleep on the way back from the shops and he did cry a tiny bit when he woke, hit that can be quite normal if he can't see me straight away on waking. We play in his room all the time so I'm not worried about the familiarity it's just getting him to sleep that's more if the issue but this is the same in our room at the moment so it's not going to be any different in his room! Will just make sure I do day times naps in his room tomorrow and Sat and then move him into his room for Sat night, this way at least DHnis on hand to help with nighttime over the weekend if I need it! If he sleeps through again tonight I might be brave and try it from tomorrow night!


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Well I took the plunge and moved the cot into his own room on Friday night and the actual sleeping through the night is going well, woke at 5ish on Fri night, but went to sleep, but last night woke around the same time and just wouldn't settle, I ended up picking him up and he settled on me, but I tried to put him back in his cot twice and he woke up screaming as soon as I put him down.  I ended up with him in our bed as I was knackered! He slept soundly until 6.45.  I actually think he's cold and settling on me as he's warmer, I'm using a 2.5 sleep bag and he's in a long sleeve vest.  I know you're not supposed to use any other bedding, but even I was cold when I went into his room, any advise on what to do next?  I'm also struggling to get him to sleep in his cot, DH relented today and picked him up and walked with him and he was asleep within 5 mins!  Before this he was screaming. Yesterday he did sleep after 15 mins, but he was grizzly rather than screaming.  I tried to put him in the cot for his afternoon nap and it was full blown screams so that didn't work either


----------



## Loopylou29 (Mar 4, 2013)

If he is waking as you think he is cold try a long sleeve vest with a thin sleepsuit and then a fleece suit on top before putting him in the sleeping bag. Or get one of the padded sleep suits.
Our lo wears a vest and fairly thick sleepsuit with 2.5 bag. If he feels cold when we go to bed we put a small blanket over him covering his legs and tummy.
Best place to check to see if he is cold is the back of his neck. If he is cold his skin will feel cool on back of his neck. Our son is teething and full of a cold so we have had disturbed sleep so I have every sympathy.


----------



## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Just a quick one... We had issues with Bladelet being cold.  Mothercare do wadded sleep suits.  They're not cheap, but they're great for keeping babies who won't stay under the covers warm.  They're also really snuggly - both my kids love them.


----------



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks both, I'll try the sleep suit with the bag, probably can't do it tonight as he's asleep, but will put a blanket over him to see if this helps


----------



## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

We got our LO at 10.5mths and he was used to sleeping in his FCs room. We decided that was never going to happen for us, we wanted him in his own room from the beginning. I tried to sleep in the room with him initially but he just got more upset because he could see me.
He screamed something fierce!! We picked a very snuggily blanket and at first rocked, cuddled and sang him to sleep with a bottle until he fell asleep then put him in the cot and it worked although this could be repeated often and he could go through 3 bottles a night! We then swapped him to just water at night as he was really constipated too. We had an hour of total non-stop hysterics that night then was fine with water. We stopped singing if it was the middle of the night as we worried this was stimulating rather than soothing and just did 'shhh,shhh,shhh'.
After that because my back was bad we made the decision not to pick him up anymore. we still swaddled him in his blanket every night and pulled on a corner of the blanket to rock him till he settled. Within a week he was settling much better and quicker.
It was helpful having a video monitor as we could see he was safe. We had to train ourselves to leave him to cry a little longer as he started to learn to self-sooth. After around 6mths just putting a dummy in his mouth and walking straight back out did the trick. This continues for another 6mths and in all honesty we've only had uninterrupted sleep for the past two months after getting rid of the dummy.
It is okay for them to scream. A lot of children yell themselves to sleep. If you've been in and reassured them, gone again this time without talking and then left them to it they'll be fine. Just give yourselve a time limit -build up to 10-15mins if you need to and use a timer as time goes so so slowly when they're yelling!

In terms of heating, the room he was in had no form of heating in it so it was often freezing in there! We put him in a vest, thick PJs or a fleecy sleepsuit, a sleeping bag and always swaddle-wrapped in his blanket. He's seems to feel the cold badly so he often has another layer than many children his age.
He's been home for 16mths now and is 2yrs 2mths old. He still sleeps with his blanket and his favourite teddy bear every night and just has his bear at nursery for nap-time.


----------



## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

We have a long or short sleeved vest, pyjamas or sleep suit and then little mans sleeping bag. When our little man started waking 5 ish that's when I knew it was time to change to warmer pj's. 
sometimes our lo screams when he is put into is cot but he has 2 different types of cry 1) i dont want to be here id rather be with you,i think i'll try it on 2) please dont leave me i need you. on the need you nights i have slept with him in my arms. as little man became more settled this happened less and less, but those times he did just need me and reassurance. on the try it on times if i know he isnt in pain or panicked i leave him cry. usually its literally for a few minutes (though it feels like hours! ) and then he self settles, again this gats less and less and now he just sucks his thumb and turns over. They say on average it takes approx 2 weeks for a new routine to get established so stay strong lol xx


----------

