# Baby Shower?



## EveyBee (Mar 17, 2009)

Hi sorry another question!:


Has anyone on here had a baby shower- for adoption?  I was going to have one just so i can celebrate lo coming and i suppose to feel like a normal mum?!  Silly i know! 


But I have had one comment about not being a 'real' mum and therefore shouldn't have one and another about how 'weird it is having a baby shower when you aren't pregnant'- both of which hurt so now i am thinking maybe i shouldn't.


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

I know a couple of people who have had them before they adopted.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Go for it if you want to hun sod the idiots don't let them dampen your journey to motherhood with their ignorance.  I didn't have one but neither did any of my friends it's not a thing in our circle. If it was I would have.  Adopters can drink champers at their baby showers which makes them farsuperior in my view. No where does it say you need to be pg to enjoy and celebrate your journey to motherhood.  I'd be tempted to make some short dismissive remark to the ignorant like gosh thats a very hurtful narrow minded comment different doesn't mean lesser. Xx


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## Waiting_patiently (Dec 4, 2013)

My best friend did one for me, why the hell shouldn't you have one, your still becoming a mother aren't you?? I bet the people that say its not the same will be the ones saying were not real parents because we didn't give birth, have one, enjoy it and don't invite that person! x


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## Bluebell261 (Jan 31, 2010)

I would go for it with two less guests I.e the clueless people who made those silly comments!

Enjoy your baby shower, you deserve it after going through the whole adoption process!


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## EveyBee (Mar 17, 2009)

Thank you! Your comments made me laugh! 

Will have to use a few of those lines, looking forward to being able to have a drink! My sister inlaw has a 8mth old and I offered to do one for her when she was pregnant but she said she was too busy. Anyway I was going to invite her but she will be the only one bringing a child/baby and I know I am going to sound pathetic but I want it to be about our lo - I know that she will probably say how she wishes she could have had one or she doesn't understand why I am having one with adopting.  I can't not invite her though!!!

Apart from any advice if anyone has any more zingers, that would be great!!


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Seriously! What stupid things to say! That sort of attitude really gets my goat! I agree with Bluebell - have one with 2 less guests ( well put). 

I had an amazing surprise shower held by my sister. We all do them for each other in our group and it was never thought of that I wouldn't have one. All my best friends and family were there. We had a lovely spread and I got loads of fantastic and much needed presents. We played games too. 

I would have been upset if I hadn't had one but know there was no way my sister wouldn't of done one for me - she knows me too well! 

Xxx


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## Lindoprincess (Jul 23, 2013)

I threw one for my friend from work. At work no one could be bothered though they went insane for someone who'd given birth to a child they didn't even want. So I arranged one with  a few other mates and we went all out with new mummy cupcakes and pressies and everything because at the end of the day my friend was becoming a mum, to a child she'd struggled long and hard for. She cried because she like many of us had dreamed of  a baby shower. She got one, she's the best mum ever. One thing I made sure no one did though was bore on about it being an adoption because no one cares. It was her shower for her baby and she's the mummy. Invite your sis in law, hell have a joint shower your little ones can be best friends forever, hell face it they're cousins. It is still all about you, but then it can also be about it being about you all as a family. you've struggled to get it so celebrate.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Nothing for me. I left work (not returning after adoption leave) after working there for 6 years having gone through all our infertility journey with my colleagues (quite a close bunch) including 3 Ivf cycles with a card and a bunch of flowers. The same colleagues sent the same bunch of flowers to another colleague who's been off sick with pneumonia for 6 weeks. They normally go to town for special birthdays, leaving etc spending around £100 and decorating office etc making a really big thing about it. I was really shocked and then really saddened because for me it was the first taste of people seeing our son as something other than that.😥
If you have other friends who are up for it then enjoy and keep those ones in your life! 
In regards to sister in law I would make it an "adult" baby shower by maybe doing something in an adult venue where she wouldn't be able to take lo?


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## Mouseycat (Oct 25, 2011)

Hi
I had a toddler shower, and sent the invites saying that I wanted to introduce our LO to family and close friends, it was the first time many had seen any pictures and to some the first time we revealed his name, written in letters on cupcakes, delish!  I had a lovely big blue teddy bear balloon, with "it's a boy" written in it  
Go all out, we've all been through a lot to get to this stage! x


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## Bobi Kadee (Aug 18, 2014)

Some people are really thoughtless.  You deserve a shower, celebrate being a mummy.  It's been a long journey.  I agree with bluebell, be choosy about who you invite.

My work friends threw a toddler shower for me, they were all really excited about my LO coming home.  Since I had already bought all the things we needed they all bought toys and books (teachers!).  It was amazing.  I was really open throughout the process so they all felt like a real part when she finally came home.
X


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Lindoprincess - what a lovely thing to do x
Becs - I wish I could throw you a virtual shower x

I also took the opportunity at my shower to show pics and video for first time. 
On the issue of little guests I always thought I wouldn't want this as would take away from my moment, but ended up having a newborn and a 4 yr old at mine and you wouldn't even of known they were there 😊 xxx


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