# Who has given up work or changed working hours for IVF/FET???



## Munchable (Nov 1, 2012)

Hi gals,

Just curious to know how many of you have decided to possibly give up work, or go part time throughout trying to concieve?  Reason I ask is I had my first fresh IVF which was fine, but had an early miscarrage Nov/Dec time. I ended up gaining a permanent, full time job in the middle of my first cycle too, which I was so happy about as I had been made redundant over 2 years ago and been temping ever since, but now I am in this job as easy as the job is I just know that I am not myself anymore. I keep making simple mistakes and making myself look like a complete airhead to other collegues constantly no matter how much I try not to - I know I never used to be like this. I just dont focus properly, my head is in the clouds a lot of the time and basically as much as I love working, I think my mind is elsewhere.  
I am due to start my first FET as I started my period today so 2nd cycle is around the corner.  I desperatly want this cycle to work, plus my hubby and me will need to pay for next one and then after that it may be fresh cycle again as dont have many frozen embryos and that will be expensive.  I keep thinking also that when we hopefully, finally have a child I will end up giving up work for a couple of years any how (only because we have no future grandparents where we live).  Just wondering others opinions?  I will not be giving up work now, but I may think of asking for part time if I have to do a thrid cycle and by then I will have been in the job a lot longer. XXX


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Yes defo i have felt that.  I used to be the dep manager of the care home i work at but i totally lost my confidence and in the end had to step down cos i couldnt cope.  My dh didnt want me to step down as he felt that it would give me a good distraction from our treatment, but i know that i wasnt succeeding and needed to do some thing about it .


I stepped down and became a carer, i then went part time to help my dh with his business, but i also couldnt really cope with that.  So in the end i remained doing my job for 30 hours but didnt really do the work for my dh.


I think its importat to have a routeen in your life so continuing work while having treatment is in my mind the best thing, but its about managing the situation.  I coped a lot better when working part time and not in a managerial position, i was able to just get on with my job.  I think tbh if i had one round or poss two rounds of treatment and it had worked it would have been different.  The difficult thing for me was picking myself up after so many bfn, and beginning to except that it just may not happen.  My faith in ivf had been taken a huge bashing!!


Our ivf journey has taken 6 years and i am finally 34 weeks pregnant, and its only now that i am beginning to get my confidence back. xx


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## ughhhh (May 12, 2012)

Hiya
Sorry to hear of your hard time.
For reasons unrelated to fertility I gave up my full time job and now help my husband out part time with his business. Now that we are having fertility issues I have decided not to go back to work for a while. There are times when I think that having my own job again and something to focus on apart from fertility would be helpful. 
But then again there is a fine line between that and getting overworked/stressed in your job.
So just wanted to say that I completely get where you are coming from but maybe having a full time job and keeping busy has its benefits rather than time to dwell on what is and isn't in the fertility department.....
I also wanted to say that I feel the personality thing too.... I used to feel like a bright and interesting person... now I sometimes feel timid and on the verge of tears most of the time.... however I do think this is a natural part of the journey and you have to fight against it and stay positive.... maybe sticking with the job if its not too stressful could help you fight your way back to the person you used to be I am trying too.
Hope you get back to your old self soon
xxx


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

I think you end up feeling as if you have lost your way in life a bit. Like you dont really know who you are or where your going anymore, well thats how i felt. xx


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## yogabunny (Sep 12, 2012)

Hi Sweetpea, 
Yes i have felt the same, you are not alone.   That must have been tough interviewing midcycle, says a lot about you that you got the job!  
I took the plunge and went freelance just as my first ivf was starting, that has allowed me to take less work when treatment is happening. Although it was a risk, and has meant that we have had to put buying a house on hold, was definitely the right decision and I feel much more myself again.  
The office politics at work had got crazy and a new director had just piled the work on, I needed to get out, the stress levels were too high. 
I have found that starting something of my own has allowed my confidence to grow again. I've remembered that I am pretty good at what I do.  
Maybe your new job will be something new for you? 
Perhaps you need something else, so it is not just about work/IVF.
I have tried to get back into the yoga that i love and have started volunteering once a week at the National Trust. I needed something to do that was not work, but something I had chosen. That has also helped make me more confident and happier again.
Good luck and let us know what you decide. xxx


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## Munchable (Nov 1, 2012)

Hi gals,
Thanks for the replys, yes I do think sticking with the job will improve my confidence so I will I thinks.  The IVF in Oct/Nov it was my very first cycle and I was out of work all through it, but I miscarried and bled all the way till Christmas, but started the job just 3 days after I found out I had miscarried.  On reflection I think when I started the job I didnt have time to kind of grieve properly for what 'could of been' and I guess it's just been a shock to the system that it didnt.  Im glad I am not the only one who has felt like this, I guess thats what the stress of it can do to someone, hey.  Im sure ill be back to my normal outgoing, confident, chatty self again soon.  Thanks again lovelys xx


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