# BFP now BFN



## butsy (Sep 25, 2008)

hi ladies,

Just had the bad news confirmed.  Had my first ever BFP on Friday 1st Oct, was over the moon.  Then started to feel that things were not right on the monday.  re-tested and BFN (twice) - now had blood test result and HCG level is 4. 

I just feel wrung out with it all and don't know if I can do this any more.  How do you carry on? I don't know how I'll manage another cycle knowing that even if you get good news it can all be taken away so easily.

Sorry, feeling very sorry for myself     .

B x


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Butsy so sorry, it's not easy is it, sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes


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## gingerbreadgirl (Mar 31, 2007)

Oh Butsy   
Im sorry, its such terrible news when you have been through so much to get a BFP isnt it. In my experience its too early to think about where you go from here, BUT, that said, I know from experience that the clinics see a BFP as very encouraging that you can achieve another   . Take time to recover and if you have a follow up consultation you should most definitely go. I never want to go to mine but always feel I get something out of it. Take care and be kind to yourself. Its such a cruel thing to have happened   
GG
xx


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## utb (Feb 2, 2010)

Busty I feel exactly the same got my result at the weekend and HCG was 10 they said something had happened but it looks like I have miscarried I now have to wait another week before they will confirm that its a BFN even though I havent stopped bleeding for days I just feel like a complete failure that it is me and my body rejecting the embies.  I got one on ice and just hope that it works as I just cannot face going through a fresh cycle again I dont think I can take it mentally or emotionally.

x x x x


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## MrsMossy (Mar 4, 2010)

The same thing happened to me, even harder than the straight bfn i got the first round. Im not sure it will ever be my time!


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## Rhubarb04 (Nov 10, 2009)

I got BFP on 8th Oct.  Always felt something "wasnt right" and last Thursday started bleeding and did test this morning BFN.
I know how you feel :0(


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## sarahlouxxx (Sep 8, 2009)

hi guys

Just seen this thread, i got my bfp sat then i started bleeding on Wednesday, gutted in not the word    i know how u all feel this was my last funded go too ,its not fair is it, in a way i wish i got a bfn insted of a bfp ,to be given  a postive then have it taken away its not fair


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## VaVaVoom (Aug 23, 2010)

Hi Butsy

Today I understand how you all feel.  As my BFP from yesterday has turned into the start of my period today.  Is there any point me doing the test!!!?

I even posted on the positive thread, what a stupid thing to do.  

I feel your pain and if your head is as messed up as mine then all I can do is virtually hug you.  

We need to cry and heal.


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## oakers99 (Aug 11, 2010)

Hi everyone, I understand how you all feel. Got my first ever BFP on 27.10.10, knew something wasn't quite right as started bleeding, so requested another blood test. They confirmed yesterday evening thats its a BFN.   Feel such a complete failure/useless/distraught/heartbroken, dont know what to do now. We've spent so much money and still have nothing  . Can't afford another go, and even if we could, would it be another BFN as the previous 4 have been 

Sorry, just absolutely gutted (. Big  to everyone, its the sh*ttiest time ever.
xxx


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## utb (Feb 2, 2010)

sending you a big    it is worse than getting a straight BFN we have one frostie after our lsat TX (non from the first) if that doesnt work I dont think I will be able to go through another fresh cycle just dont think I am up to it.  I know what you mean about the money we have almost spent £20k with VR and TX.

x x x x


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## oakers99 (Aug 11, 2010)

utb - thanks for the  , sending you loads of   too. It is def much much worse than getting a straight BFN. I've never felt worse in my entire life, and spent all last night crying  . We have 3 frosties from our first ICSI 3 years ago, but I dont know if they would survive the thaw. Not really sure what to do - DH did say last night we could save up and try again, tho it took nearly 2 years to save for this go. We've also spent about £25k with VR and TX - just wish we could win the lottery! Im going to ring the clinic today and get a follow up appointment and see what they say -  maybe there's something wrong with me after all, as I can't seem to get the embies to stick?


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## utb (Feb 2, 2010)

I feel exactly the way you do about thinking there is something wrong with me although the hosiptal have said everything is fine you cant help but wonder.  If you have three frosties I would look at defrosting them before going for another TX you never know you could deforst all three and have triplets  it is so hard to stay upbeat and positive you just have to take one day at a time somedays are good ones and then others I keep thinking about how I would be feeling now and if my body would be starting to change etc.

Life is cruel and unfair I have learnt so much about myself going through TX I suprised myself at how strong I could be and also how vulnerable and emotional I can be too it can be a heartbreaking and horrendous journey at times but then when I read peoples positive stories it gives me hope that it will be all worth while when there is a baby in my arms.

Stay strong and defrost them frosties you never know they could be the ones that stick you will be forever asking yourself the question of what if otherwise.

x x x x


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## butsy (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi girls,

sending you all big     

It is a horrible time, but we'll get through it.  I keep thinking I'm getting stronger, and then falling apart again!  Got ashamedly drunk last night on brandy and ended up crying all over my husband at 2am,

he's a very patient man!
Bx


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## MrsMossy (Mar 4, 2010)

BUTSY- I wish i could do that but i dont drink! I get that the freedom you feel with being drunk is probably what most of the women who have suffered this need! Do you feel better for the release?


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## Allijab (Mar 7, 2008)

Just wanted to add big       to everyone who has been through this cruel twist of fate called chemical pregnancy or miscarriage.

It is harder than a straightforward BFN and so horrible to have it all whisked away

Jules


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