# Hello, newbie here



## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hello everyone, I'm a relative newbie who has been an avid reader of this forum for the past few months. I've already taken so much on board and learned a lot from the experiences you have all shared on here.
My DW and I are in the very early stages. We have chosen our VA and have our initial meeting next week (Fri 13th - good job we're not superstitious). None of our LA's had any info days, neither did this VA as they prefer to visit you. I do feel a bit daunted as they are sending two SW's and we don't have the buffer of other couples there. Has anyone else started out this way?


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Hi there!

We had a similar thing though only one SW! If you've already filled out an enquiry form, they go through that with you. They will also have a poke around the house/flat/etc to make sure it is suitable for a child. If there's any thing you need to get sorted they will tell you, for example we needed to have a banister fitted as our stair case was open. 

Other than that it's a fairly informal meeting. Be yourselves!! Make a list of any questions you might have as if you're anything like me, you'll forget it by the time their arrive.

There are a few posts about initial visits so it's worth searching through 

Good luck

xx


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## twinkletoes13 (Aug 20, 2013)

Hi,

I'm a relative newbie too... we have our initial visit at the end of this week (DH is currently DIY-ing and I'm in full on clean-mode in preparation!), but it's just one SW. I have no idea what to expect, other than she said it could be a few hours in length.

I've been writing down questions, and things we'd like information on, so that when she's here I won't forget anything.

Right, I'm off to clean some more...  

Once we've had the meeting I'll pop back to let you know what to expect.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Don't clean too much!!! They want to see that your home could fit a child within it... A perfectly clean house isn't always a good thing


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Hi.  This is how we started, about an hour, hour and a half with the social worker asking questions.  We are not in the home where we will have our bubba, but our social worker knows about that.  Then we are booked into a prep course for the last weekend of September and the first weekend of October.  Good luck!


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Thanks for the replies. Sounds like we're almost at the same stage Twinkletoes and Barbados Girl. They did say it would be a couple of hours and during our phone conversations mentioned we could start a prep group in Oct all being well.

There's no worries with our house being too clean at the mo JesP because I'm working nights the week leading up to the visit and DW is so untidy bless her


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Welcome and Good luck mayfargal, barbaddosgirl,twinkletoes.  I hope you all have a smooth and enjoyable journey      for you all


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## Petite One (Jun 1, 2011)

Hello all

I'm a newbie to the adoption threads too, but have read lots on here. Have been on FF for a while, but we have decided adoption is best route for us. We've handed in our registration of interest and met with a social worker to go through it, however we're now awaiting for a different social worker to call us. I was hoping we'd have 1 of the 2 that I'd met before as they were easy to talk to, but we can't. 

This one is new to the team, so I have no idea how it will pan out. Like everyone, we want someone that makes us feel comfortable and understands the processes. Our LA said the new format for stage 1 is so new, that they need to get their head around it.  They're only doing 1 prep evening next month, as they said stage 1 is adopter led, so they'll do more once they see how the 1st one goes.

DH and I really want this to work! So here's to hoping.   Good luck to all of you too.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Good luck Petite One! With the new system and time scales it is a bit unknown but we have been given so many info booklets about each stage and what they entail. But it's still nice to talk to others who are going through it. I know it's the very early stages but they seem very switched on and have made lots of contact with us so I hope it continues like this. Think our VA are doing their first prep course this month and it's possible we could do one in Oct.


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## twinkletoes13 (Aug 20, 2013)

Hi Mafergirl

We've now had our initial visit. Everything went really well I think. 

She asked us lots of questions about us, our lives, our reasons for wanting to adopt etc, she explained that they don't like anyone to do the prep group or apply unless they feel confident that they'll be approved, which is a relief because it takes some of the worry away (not all though!).

The SW said that our invite to the prep group needs to be confirmed by her boss, but that she was going to be strongly recommending us, so it definitely feels like we're one step further ahead with the process now. Prep group starts in two weeks so we don't have long to wait which is a bonus, because I am just a little impatient!

I was a nervous wreck before she came, but she was lovely, really put us at ease and was very friendly, she asked lots of questions, but not in a rude, prying way which I was worried about. 

I know it won't make any difference, but try not to worry, we only had one SW, but I am sure if there had been two it wouldn't have been any different. Good luck for next week!


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## Starmaker73 (Jun 28, 2013)

to all the newbies.  Welcome to the one of the most friendliest and helpful boards I have ever been to.  If you have any questions or worries someone on here will always have an answer, it's great.


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Thanks, everyone.  Hi Twinkeltoes and Mafergal, exciting to be at the same stage.  Three weeks until prep starts for me.  Eeek!


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## claudia6662 (Aug 29, 2013)

Hello all, im a newbie too and at the very beginning. I have my office interview in two weeks.
Im looking forward to it all, even though i've heard its going to be hard work, im excited and nervous at the same time.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Welcome Claudia, I wish you all the best on your journey.  I share your excitement and nervousness! It's great to see several people already at a similar stage to me.  

Thanks for the details about your visit Twinkletoes, it's helped to put the visit into perspective and even though other people have said similar it's very reassuring to hear from someone who has just been through it themselves.  

I can't believe how fast this week has gone, Friday will be here before I know it.  It's been helped by all my spare time being spent in the garden and sorting out the drive.  I figured they prob wouldn't look around the house but I feel better in myself knowing the first thing they see when they pull up is presented nice    instead of overgrown weeds everywhere (which is how it was).  Plus I'm a worrier so it's good for me to keep busy.


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## Petite One (Jun 1, 2011)

Thanks Mafergal. We've not received any booklets, just some info about the stages.

From what I've read from the old style format, everyone found the prep courses really helpful. However as ours are only doing 1 next month for 2 hours with a view to possibly another the next month, I feel we are missing out on learning. I've done lots of reading but it would have been really useful to have attended more preps for dh and me before going to stage 2.

Can I ask, when the social workers asks you what and who's supporting you through adoption, I know many people have said FF, but has the social worker than asked you to give your username? I find FF really helpful and supportive and I don't want my social worker (not even met her yet haha) then reading personal stuff that I put on here.

We've got a list of questions that they want us to fill out before we meet our social worker. Has anyone had questions too? 1 question is 'Do your family hold any strange beliefs? Describe what they are'. Goodness knows what I should say.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Petite One - As I'm little behind you I cant say for sure but I wouldn't think they'd ask for your user name, it would be like eavesdropping on personal conversations and if it's recorded any where, any number of other people could have access to it. The anonymity is what most people like about forums. Maybe someone else can let us know of I'm right. In any case I doubt the SW's would have the time to keep up to date with these forum topics 

Will be interesting to see if we get given a sheet of questions like you have. Who is to say what is a strange belief? Lol

As for the prep days all my booklets and research on the new stage 1 says 3 prep days must be attended by you (by both of you if couple). So I wouldn't worry, prior to moving to stage 2 you will have had 3 days I'm sure. Some do the 3 days together, others split them up. Do you have a date to meet with your SW?


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Hi all, I am a newbie too  

I have had a couple of initial meetings and looks like if I proceed it will be prep in the New Year for me - so look forward to reading how the journey develops for us all


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## Petite One (Jun 1, 2011)

Hello Mafergal.

Social worker has not contacted me yet.  I presume she'll want to come round and see us before the prep but I don't know. 


Hello Caledonia.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Petite One said:


> Thanks Mafergal. We've not received any booklets, just some info about the stages.
> 
> From what I've read from the old style format, everyone found the prep courses really helpful. However as ours are only doing 1 next month for 2 hours with a view to possibly another the next month, I feel we are missing out on learning. I've done lots of reading but it would have been really useful to have attended more preps for dh and me before going to stage 2.


I'll just add that my literature also says you get another training day in stage 2, plus workshops with other adopters. Hopefully this means we don't miss out & keep building on the training received on the prep days.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hello Caledonia, it's great to see more people starting out. Good luck on your journey


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## Caledonia (Sep 4, 2013)

Thanks Mafergal


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