# I'm so confused! I just dont know whether to egg share again or not?



## Victoria-Helen (Oct 16, 2009)

I have egg shared twice, it was compliacted, the 1st cycle i donated to two women and kept nothing for myself. My best friend was given a free cycle for this. I did it because she cannot egg share.

Then i did my cycle in which i donated to one women and kept half for myself. i got a BFP and then miscarried at 6 weeks.

I've since been for an AMH test to begin egg share again but have been told my result of 10.1 isnt good. Now i am in turmoil i dont know what to do!

I need to egg share really i just dont have the money to have a cycle on my own, and i was so very proud that my recipients got pregnant i was happy to help someone else. But i also dont want to egg share and ruin my own chance. 

I dont know how to decide! I feel so sad and lonely, my husband is great but he just says its my decision as its me that would have to go through it. I know that if i didnt make enough eggs to share that i couldnt let down my recipent so i would feel i had to give all the eggs to her, i couldnt live with knowing i'd let someone down. But i cant stand the idea of that happening and having to wait so many more months for me to try again. Why does it have to be so hard


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## mammamia12 (Feb 1, 2010)

Hi,

I'm going to be completely honest here and I apoligise in advance if I offend anyone.....

Basically, if it was me I would agree to the egg-share knowing that if I only got enough eggs for one that I'd keep them.  Make sure you can afford to pay for the full cycle before going ahead as I don't want you to feel pressured into giving all the eggs away for finanacial reasons (done egg-share myself and told myself I would give them away to avoid letting the recipient down, but really deep down it was because of the financial pressure. As it turned out I had JUST enough eggs for both of us).  at the end of the day you can't spend your life ALWAYS puting other people first - you've done your bit, now do whats best for you. 

Good Luck 

Mamma


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Mamma I totally agree with you. I think that putting yourself first is important. _If_ Victoria you decide to egg share then great, but honestly if you are writing such a message, maybe your mind is already made up.

Think about yourself first hun, there is alot a pressure when egg sharing in regards to enough eggs. The choice is not easy and as straight forward as some may think.

Its fantastic what you have done for your friend and your recipient. Your amazing, but maybe if your so confused about it that tells you whats for the best. I know IVF is a huge amount of money, but for your own peace of mind hun.

Egg sharing does lower your chances, in regards to giving away half your eggs.... Also lowers the chances of frosties. I know some are lucky, but others are not.

Just take time hun, and have a conversation with DH. Maybe you could come up with the money some how.

I have never regretted for a second egg sharing, and I hope you dont ever. I would do it a thousand times over if my eggs were better quaility. 

Take care hun, we are here if you need us.
Natalie xxxx


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## boo boo 27 (Feb 10, 2010)

Hey girls I am really considering the eggshare prorgramme myself due to my PCT not funding at present and me and OH waiting and trying and getting no where!!

We are goin to try Care Manchester, but one thing i am so scared of is the thought of not producing enough eggs?
If you dont produce enough eggs and you end up keeping these eggs do they ask you to pay full cost of the whole treatment cycle and not discounted due to you deciding to keep the eggs?

Sorry if i sound silly i am just not sure if we could afford the whole treatment but at sametime wouldnt want to give my eggs away and have none myself!!
xx


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## Hopeful J (May 7, 2008)

Hi Beauty

I'm not sure how it works in Manchester - i egg shared at the lister fertility clinic in London - basically i was told that if i didnt produce enough eggs for both of us i could donate all to the recipient and egg share again. However if i chose to keep all my eggs i would have that treatment without cost but could not egg share again. 

As it happens i got 8 eggs which was only just enough (minimum to donate is 4 each ) 

Check it out with your clinic hun and the best of luck xx


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Hopeful J said:


> Hi Beauty
> 
> I'm not sure how it works in Manchester - i egg shared at the lister fertility clinic in London - basically i was told that if i didnt produce enough eggs for both of us i could donate all to the recipient and egg share again. However if i chose to keep all my eggs i would have that treatment without cost but could not egg share again.
> 
> ...


J hun, The Lister now have a £1000 charge if you keep all your eggs. 

Beauty27 ~ You will have to check, some clinic's will charge you for a full cycle. But other dont. 
I was in a situation in my 2nd cycle where I was responding poorly to the stims... I was asked before EC if I wanted to keep the eggs. I decided to donate all. But lucky I somehow got 15 eggs, so it wasnt needed... But I was prepare to do it.

Good luck
Natalie xxx


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## boo boo 27 (Feb 10, 2010)

I think my clinic care is where you pay no further costs but you have won't be able to eggshare again if you keep your eggs..

I am just so worried about not producing enough, i mean i havent ever had IVF before and due to the PCT not funding at present we could be waiting for our NHS go for years, therefore eggshare just seems perfect for us!
xx


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## Hopeful J (May 7, 2008)

Nat the cheeky sods! they told me i could go ahead but wouldnt be 'welcome' to egg share again!!!  now they'd charge us £1000? thats ridiculous! its like they make it harder and harder for us - obviously they make more money off of the ladies we donate to, its a horrible 'business'  
am really offended by that, it seems like a bullying tactic so you feel you 'have to' donate all in that situation  



VH try not to worry too much hun, i mean obviously its a worry but cross that bridge when you come to it just try and have some funds as a back up just in case , hey if all else fails could someone (meaning me) donate on your behalf? - i want to do a cycle just for donation but even better if it can benefit one of you ladies  xx


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## gingerbread latte (Mar 25, 2010)

Hi Girls,

Hope you don't mind me dropping in on a chat, but I've also just been accepted to egg share and a lot of these questions are whizzing around my head too! The way it has been explained to me is that I can change my mind at egg collection and keep all the eggs but at that stage will pay more money to top it up to what would be a full IVF cycle or give them all away and get a 'free' go. It is so hard to make the decision and whilst we just don't know what will happen, it feels better to take some form of control and weigh up our options beforehand and before we're pressured/confused with hormones!! As the other girls have said - try to put some sort of funding in place - perhaps a friend/family member could agree to a small loan for you so you know you could keep your eggs if you're in that situation.

Good luck and let us know what you decide to do and how your treatment progresses.

xxxx


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