# losing faith.....



## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

So this month was my first month of Clomid, had day21 bloods which confirmed progesterone at 40.9 so happy with that. I then get a bfp on day 30 of cycle and today day 33 it's all over. Isn't Clomid meant to improve the egg or does it just encourage ovulation? I was lead to believe it would lesson my chances of miscarriage but sadly not. Anyone else had similar experience on Clomid? X


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Danielle,

I was led to believe that clomid encouraged ovulation and had nothing to do with egg quality.  It's strange you had a BFP and now you are not pregnant.

What have your clinic said?

X


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## Dannixo (Dec 26, 2012)

Danielle- think positive. At least you got pregnant. I'm going on my third round. You know it works. Clomid is designed to make you ovulate. The risk of miscarriage is actually higher with clomid. Google it. I'd say yet again when your cleared and hopefully the next one will stick. Sorry about your loss.


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## spudlin (Nov 12, 2012)

Danielle, are you sure? Is it just AF showing up or have you now had BFN?!  

My friend said with her last child she had BFP the 2 BFN's. She went for blood test and it was positive.

I'm so sorry for you if it you aren't pg. I know how much it means to us all


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi thanks for all your replies, I had bfp on Wednesday but then yesterday I was awoken with cramp and af came, I tested and got a bfn. I've had this happen before, I think there's something up with the very initial stages of me developing a pregnancy as this is the 3rd time now. Im going to speak to the clinic tomorrow as they're not there on a weekend. Going to ask for an earlier appointment too so I can have a proper chat. Will look into the information about Clomid and miscarriage. X


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## Alvy (Jan 14, 2013)

It sounds exactly the same as what I had, seems to be a chemical pregnancy. I had it on round 1 and 3 of Clomid. I don´t think Clomid does anything about the egg quality, only encourages ovulation to get stronger, but it too has estrogenic effects, so it lengthens the luteal phase and keeps progesterone levels a bit more right to sustain pregancy. After 3 times a miscarriage, on and off Clomid, I think you are entitled to ask for more research. I had some standard things done myself, as my first pregnancy ended around 6 weeks (natural), and then the 2 chemicals on Clomid after that. Had some karyotyping done and some bloodwork like homocysteine, anti cardiolipid antibodies and vitamin D. We call it RPL panel here. In my case nothing came out of that. The docs I am working with now put me on progesterone after ovulation and I started taking aspirine out of own decision, but the doc does know about me taking it. Keep in mind that not all docs see it as a miscarriage and often just put it on bad luck. My doc I got now says 3 times isnt a coincidence, while my other docs said it was just something that could happen.. I hope your doc is willing to help you out and also do some testing. If they put it on bad luck, do push for further research, and also don´t take for granted the sentence: it is such an early stage that we cant do anything about it. There are things to be done, but that can only be possible with proper research. A good book to read might be Alan Beer - Is your body baby friendly. It tells quite some about what causes can be and what to look for. I know it did help me a lot.. and I have a better view on what to do. Not all doctors are very forward with treatment, so I like to take control over things myself too. I am planning to do some blood tests on own initiative somewhere the upcoming months. For example, thyroid troubles can give you early miscarriages. My TSH fluctuates from 3,2 to 1,9 and everywhere I read that to sustain pregnancy it is best to stay around 1, certainly not higher as 2. When I mentioned this to my doc, he said, nah it isnt a problem. But I do think it might be a cause so I will go to a place where I can ask for own bloodtests and pay myself, to find out if I have thyroid antibodies. If so, then that can be treated too. It might seem far fetched to start this yourself, but in my case I am not accepting more lost pregnancies, and I will do what I think necessary for that..  

ETA: I completely know how you feel, especially with the losing faith as the title says.. but I am convinced it will in the end work for both of us.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Thanks for such a thorough reply, it was really helpful. It's just so frustrating isn't it finding out youre pregnant then it all being over just as quick. Im definately going to push for testing,! I've already had masses of bloods done after my last one but I need to find out exactly what they did and didn't test for and persue the rest myself. I think with Clomid its easy to think it'll be a solution to all your problems and the doctor had alluded to us that he felt my problems were hormonal and that because my ovulation wasn't quite right that could be contributing to the miscarriages. I think we'll end up getting some tests done privately too, going to give Clomid the benefit of the doubt again and keep on with it, just feels s but pointless though if I can't actually sustain a pregnancy and the heartache just gets worse the longer and more it goes on.are youcontinuing with it? X


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## Alvy (Jan 14, 2013)

Yes, even if it goes wrong some days after I already been dreaming away about the future, and then it is like getting into this big black hole. Everytime it happened it is so painful. Then again, it might sound strange but the last time it happened was less harsh on me then the other two times. 

I have not so much choice when it comes to ovu induction because I hardly ovulate on my own. So to get at least something I need to stay on. But my thoughts are similar to yours, I also wonder what is the use when it doesnt stick anyway. But I think that doing nothing isnt helping either and at some point it just has to work. I am trying to stay positive in that matter. I first thought Clomid was like the wonder drug for my problem too, now it turns out there obviously is something more going on. So I think, only to carry on is to determine the cause. I don´t wanna run away from it, because well, in daily life we constantly get confronted with people it worked for. At least, may it never work, which I dont think though, we then can say we gave it all we had. I wouldnt wanna look back and have to think, what if I, or what if I had done this or that, for the rest of my life


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Thank you so much for your reply, made me feel that bit more positive about things. I am going to push on with things as like you I wouldn't want to look back and think we could have done more. Im sure in the end things will work out ok for both of us, and that's the only thing that drives us on isn't it. We dont have another option either as I dont ovulate either all the time. But like you I feel there is more going on. X


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## Lisymb (Jul 27, 2011)

Danielle = I was just passing through and saw this thread!
Im soo sorry to read this hun!! You definitely need to get your clinic to do some tests on you, especially as its the 3rd times its happened!! Could be an issue with your progesterone levels, whereby they arent high enough to sustain the pregnancy, or it might be you need baby aspirin to help you through.... i hope you get some answers hun!
Sending you


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi limb thanks for the reply. Yeah im going to push for more tests. I took baby asprin this time but didn't seem to help but I've always thought something isn't quite right with my progesterone, I worry about it not staying up after implantation. Will definately be seeking out some answers this time xx


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## Alvy (Jan 14, 2013)

My doc thinks exactly what you just wrote, in my case. He thinks the 21 day levels are good, but that it later on fails to stay up. I have gotten prpgesterone pessaries for it. I am also on aspirin. Didnt yet manage to become pregnant again so I dont know what the effects of the progesterone are exactly and if it really is the culprit, hope to find out soon though  . I would ask your doc to provide you progesterone, it is cheap and not dangerous to be used even if there is no pregnancy established.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Hiya, I've spoken to hospital today and they have brought my appointment forward to next Tuesday! It's such a good hospital for that sort of thing. Yes I will certainly mention about the progesterone as its definately worth a go. I got my bloods back from docs, my hcg levels weren't even high enough to confirm pregnancy, they were only 3 so I was literally pregnant for 2 days!! Im feeling a lot more positive today, the nurse said to perhaps wait one cycle before starting Clomid again but said it was up to me, id already figured that my body had only been pregnant a day or two and clearly hadn't st started responding to the pregnancy so I started my Clomid yesterday as to me this is no different to any other period. Good luck with the progesterone, hope it works for you when the time comes  x


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

I had the exact same thing i fell pregnant then m/c it was so early it is known as a chemical pregnanxy i am now in 2nd round of clomid you can msg me if you want to chat as it sounds as though we are in the same position.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Will do Cleo.., out of interest did you take your next round of Clomid straight away when you bled? Rightly or wrongly im classing this as af and I've started round 2! X


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

Was told to wait until second af but i had to wait 8 weeks for af so i took it anyway. I am fine and in 2ww now.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Did you have day 21 bloods done straight after last chemical pregnancy? Just the hospital said this month probs wouldn't work for me due to mc? Might have wasted a month but hey ho you hear of people falling pregnant the month after so just giving it a go, havent got much to lose at this stage lol how's the 2ww going? I hate that bit of the month  makes me go  lol xx


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

Really stressed in 2ww. I had no bloods done not really being monitored until next month  when i go back to see the gynea. As the m/c was early i thought the same and i will see what happens.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Well fingers crossed for you hun, keep me posted   not even going to say try to relax or anything like that coz firstly it's impossible and secondly us girls on here get sick of hearing just relax lol well I know I bloody do!  Xx


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

If you wanna chat i go in the chat room alot.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

ok will no doubt catch u in there soon xxx


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## Dannixo (Dec 26, 2012)

Hello ladies, I know I haven't been on here much. Busy working.

As for me.. I got my day 21 progesteone results back today and there lower then last month at 27.84. Now I'm down on the dumps not feeling so hopeful about this month..


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Hi there, good to hear from you   I wouldnt lose hope at all, its only slightly lower and it still suggests maybe you've ovulated. I've got no hope at all for this month, im booked in for day 21 bloods but I dont think I should have counted the bleed after chemical pregnancy as af but hey ho! Its such an awful roller coaster all of this isn't it, too much waiting for dates, appointments etc im starting to really resent this journey coz it's stripping all the fun out of life! Sorry to moan but do you ever feel like everything youre doing is just a front, coz in an ideal world you'd be doing different, family things etc it's getting me down atm x


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## spudlin (Nov 12, 2012)

Danielle I am sending you a big   

I feel the same as you about the whole pretend life thing. If one more person says that I would be a fantastic mother I will scream  

They of course don't know we are trying and struggling.


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## Dannixo (Dec 26, 2012)

Danielle- I couldn't agree more! I'm so tired of timing and calculating all month long. It's stressful and taking all the fun out of it. I'm just holding on to the hope. You at least know you can get pregnant. I am sorry for your loss. There's still hope. I don't even know if clomid will work.... Fingers crossed.


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

Have to say after m/c i waited till the actual regular period which is what i counted as the first. Sorry i may have got mixed up.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Ok so just seen our consultant and hes now put us on the list for ivf which is roughly 3-5 months long. He also wants me to have a camera into my womb to look around. Do you think ivf is drastic action?? I was quite shocked, he says he feels weve tried long enough, had enough heartache and I quote he says he is here to help make babies not just pregnancies!! Obviously I'll trust in his decision but just wasn't expecting that today! Wer still going to be taking Clomid till the ivf appointment comes thru x


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## spudlin (Nov 12, 2012)

I think my doc will say that to me when I go in a couple of weeks time. My issue tho is I'm not eligible for NHS. So in one hand I am not wanting to waste time, but on the other I feel I deserve the same as everyone else on the NHS before we fork out for IVF


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Yes I agree, you should have everything you can thru the nhs. How come youre not eligible thru nhs? Dont tell me it's the crappy post code lottery!! Our consultant seems really pro active, so glad we chose to transfer hospitals. X


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

Nothing again got a bfn crap. Was heartbroken back to clomid again come in lucky number three.


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## danielle1370 (Dec 4, 2012)

Arr sorry to hear that Cleo!   heres hoping for round 3! Im continuing with my Clomid till ivf starts now, think this month will be a write off though after chemical preg. X


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

Thanks i hope you get on ok is this the first chemical pregnancy you have had on comid just wondered i have 3 more rounds left till ivf so hoping clomid will work again good luck with your journey.


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## spudlin (Nov 12, 2012)

Hi Danielle,
not sure whether it's a bit of postcode lottery. But there is no way I will get my BMI low enough before next month when I will be 6 months off my 40th birthday and that's the cut off  

I have managed to drop BMI enough to get the clomid, lost around 2 stone in 3-4 months. But I would seriously need to starve myself to get it down to the acceptable level in a month.

We will be happy to pay, if and when we need to. But I am as entitled as the next person to all available investigations first   and I will certainly be stating my case when I see him in a few weeks time


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