# What Buggs You!!



## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi
I just wanted to say my biggest hurdle about my Infertility is Egg Time.....i just want to beable to sleep with my hubby and not think about babies at the crucial time of the month....it really is mind games for me...Its so nice any other time of the month, because it is about us two...sorry to be so personal, I just needed to get that off my chest!!!    
What buggs you!!

love astridxx

p.s its the Rose wine bringing the worse out in me!!! ooops sorry!!!


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Just about to pm you! xxx


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

I think this is a real toughie. I've heard people say that they actually end up avoiding having sex around this time as they just don't want to get into the mousewheel that is 'expectation followed by dashed hopes'. I know that the six months prior to us starting treatment, where we told to be trying naturally, were actually the worst of this whole journey, putting so much pressure on myself to get the timing / my health / hubby's sperm right!!!!

I don't have a magic solution to this one, and I know once my periods are back to normal, I'm going to be wondering every month. It was easier before thspregnancy as I didn't beleive the natural thing was possible. 

I'm meandering and talking about myself too much here, bt Astrid, I just want you to know you are not alone on this one; maybe we should 'reframe' egg time, do something silly, stick two fingers up at the misery of it all, have a night out, whatever. I (we) will not be beaten!!!!!

I'm just plain daft and strange sometimes.....

MM xxxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

What bugs me?

Being of childbearing age, having EWCM, having periods (and the spots and the narkyness to go with it)
Struggling to lose the post IVF weight and the extra pounds from not being so mobile any more
Not being able to have a pregnancy in the correct place - what a **** take from my bod - cheers!
All the intrusive questions I still get to this day asking about my lack of offspring

and... insenstive people! They bug the sh1t out of me! 

Cor, I feel much better for sharing that with you all - must be that time of month again soon then, huh?  

love,
Hormonal Wretch (Beware World .... RAAAAAAHHHHHH)!


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## Purdycat (Nov 29, 2006)

What buggs me?!

What buggs me is that since my IVF treatment last October, well actually since I went into hospital in August to have my tube clipped in anticpation, the stress of the operation, then the stress of treatment, him hearing me scream 'aaarg, get off me, I'm dying' during EC just after he'd given a sample and watching me sweat in a hospital bed for 4 fours hours afterwards.  What buggs me is that we have both been so traumatised by the whole experience that we haven't had sex since.  We've talked about it, I feel utterly degraded and desexed by the whole thing and his bits have shrivelled up and died after 'going public' with them.  We've become platonic since then and the thing that scares me is that I think I could have a great sex life with someone who hadn't been through all that treatment with me, but I could never feel as loving towards somebody who hadn't been through all that for me.  This IF business isn't easy is it?  Thought I'm sure a lot of other things aren't either.

Ellie X


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Dear Girls
Interesting replies...i am also sad to see that IF really does have such a knock on effect, on all aspects of our lives....
Ellie you mentioned about the sexlife....i was also going to mention that last night. IF has really taken the joy out of sex/making love and it has left me at times feeling so sexless. Especially years ago, before IF i couldn't get enough of it  . I am saddened to read about how things have been destroyed for you and your hubby....i hope that eventually that you will beable to overcome your traumatic expereince. My other half automatically thinks i just want his little swimmers...Great is that what our sex life amounts to?....And i thought to myself the other night 'No darling i fancy being a woman again and i would like to feel like a woman again...
So it buggs me that i lost my libido because of IF and i have felt like half a woman!!! But on the positive, maybe it would be quite nice to practice to get it back. On the other hand i would prefer to go to sleep half the time, with my pyjamas on and a hot cup of chocolate..Maybe i cannot blame IF on everything!! 
love astridxx


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Hi Girls,
What buggs me....
Putting the truma of treatment and the personal journey of IF aside, 
(feeling Ellie & Astrids pain!).... Its the journey that you take with friends and family, and how so much pressure is put upon you to 'carry on' with life, enjoy seeing everyone elses beautiful off spring and remain happy. You really do find out who your true friends are and as for family.....well you can't change them can you! xxx


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## jomac (Oct 27, 2006)

Hello Astrid and everyone,
those could be my words - Just didn't have enough courage to say!!
I too have found the whole thing has played havoc with our sex life!
We are actually having some counselling and she told us not to have sex this month and by -god the relief is enormous. I know that this month I don't have to go through all the what-if's and I feel that a bit of me that has been lost has been found.
The other thing I have had big issues with is weather or not to keep taking folic acid - just in case the miracle occurs. Taking it everyday is a horrible reminder but in the 1 in a million chance the miracle happened I would hate to not take it. ?What does everyone else do.
I have also just been away for the weekend.
I've enrolled in a university course and we had a residential workshop.
I saw all lots of  colleagues I hadn't seen for about 5 yrs and lots of people said things like "so I suppose you've got 5 kids now" I was just honest and told them and I got lots of support from my GP colleagues so that was great.
Thanks everyone for their honesty with this topic. it's great to know you're not alone

Lots love Jo


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

Hi guys  
Jo - I very much understand your worries about folic acid as I too have had those thoughts. Personally I stopped taking them when our last cycle failed along with Metformin and every other fertility thing I happened to be popping! The relief was enourmous! And oddly I have never felt better since I came off Metformin and strangely my periods are now the perfect 31 days, not 35 - 50 like before  
Anyway, I am waffling so...the way I look at it is, that there are millions of people who catch by mistake and they weren't troubled with weather or not to take folic acid! xx


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Jodie, 

It's good to see you online, hope all's good with you!

Love, 

MM xxxx


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## Guest (Feb 19, 2007)

MM, Thanks for your message, it means a lot. I am good I have been reading but not posting so much (if I am honest)  but I promise to make more of an effort! As this section is great! xx


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