# On second IUI 2ww - I hate being told "try not to be stressed"



## beccybabes82 (Mar 10, 2009)

Hi there, I'm on my 2nd attempt of IUI, and had the actual IUI on 9th March and have been told to do a pregnancy test on 26th March. My first IUI was abandoned becasue I didnt produce any follicles above 14mm on 75 menopur and now I have produced 2 on 150 menopur. 

I am completely new to this message board and my question to you all is,: whilst I have great support from my mum and a few choice friends I have shared this with, does anyone else get slightly annoyed and frustrated by them always saying "try not to be stressed becasue that doesn't help"    becasue I'm sure your all aware, it's bloody hard not to be stressed when its the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing at night! What can I say to them to make them understand thats really not a helpful comment after 3 years of trying for a baby becasue I know they are are only trying to help xx

appreciate your opinions and does anyone else have this said to them!?
thanks becky


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## deliadoll (Sep 17, 2008)

Hi Becky

First of all good luck with this cycle, I really hope it's the one for you.

I'm on my fifth cycle of IUI and I really know how you feel with the "try not to get stressed" "just relax and it will happen" blah blah blah comments. I really HATE it as it makes me feel as if they are saying "it's your fault for this not happening because you are stressed". It's so infuriating and everyone on this site will know how you feel. One of the most annoying things is that you know in theory they are right but you just can't help it as it takes over your life. I've explained to my DH who occasionally says it (only trying to help) that it's easy for him to say as he's not sticking needles in himself and having physical and mental symptoms of the hormones from the treatment which keep it in your mind wether you want it there or not.

Of the few other people who know about the tx, they've stopped saying because I've gently pointed out the above to them and also let them know that they're saying "try not to get stressed" actually stresses me out more. When I'm clam and rational I know that what they're saying is a natural response to our tx and I hate to say it but I have been guilty of saying it to people in the past. People who are not going through it don't understand so I think they are ok when you point it out to them. I have one person who has said to me a hundred times "oh I wasn't bothered about having a kid either way and just thought if it happens it happens and I came off the pill and fell pregnant on the first month" It's utterly insensitive and I feel like she's saying it's my own fault. I've pointed out to her that in the first month I wasn't stressed - or the second or the third etc but 3 years down the line you tend to feel differently. I want to kill her at times.

I'm sure you're mum and friends would rather know how you feel and wouldn't want to upset you so maybe just have a quiet word when you're in the right frame of mind and not ready to hit them with a big bat   - I've often been tempted.

I've also tried my hardest to become a bit less stressed by going to acupuncture and listening to a hypnosis cd both of which do seem to help a bit - maybe all in the head but the main thing is they work for me. This month I've tried to do normal things again and re-introduce some of my treats which I had stopped. Living like a nun wrapped in cotton wool wasn't helping my tx and was making me feel really depressed. Not suggesting my naughtiness this for anyone else really, I'm just saying it's helped relax me - my sanity is important to me  

Hope this helps a bit. Take care and I hope you never hear that dreaded sentence ever again because you'll be too busy celebrating your BFP!!!!

hugs
deliadoll
x


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## beccybabes82 (Mar 10, 2009)

Thanks so much for your reply, - you summed it up pretty perfectly, I do feel like they are saying its my fault becasue I am stressed! I've started swimming and that has helped my stress levels reduce, and I treat myself to a meal out with my husband each week. He understands and does not say this too me, and I will definately suggest the comment isnt helpful the next time it is said to me by my friends, I'm glad someone else knows what I am going through and will let you know how the test goes next week!!
Becky


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## Lynschez (Oct 24, 2008)

Hi Becky

Just wanted to let you know that you're not on your own with the way you feel.  My best friend, who has two gorgeous boys, was telling me today if she was in my position, she'd be out enjoying herself and not stressing about tx and if i wanted proof I could borrow her's for a week!  Honestly, luckily for her she was emailing me or else I wouldn't have been responsible for my actions  

I don't think anyone who hasn't been through this can really understand how stressful it can be to be told to 'chill out and it'll happen'!

Hope all goes well for your test next week,  

Lyns x x


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## charliezoom (Oct 17, 2004)

Hey hun, I know how you feel! It can be hell as know one but you knows how it feels. They mean well but no understand eh?

However keep strong and I really hope we see you on the BFP thread soon!   

Charlie xxx


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## sharon x (Feb 14, 2009)

hey hun, im on my 2ww too, its my 2nd cycle, the last one was abandoned, i ovulated myself!! got insem on the 20th march09, its all i can think about!! Im taking it easy but wondering if there is anything else i can possibly do to help! Im getting fed up of family asking how i am, i know they only care but am ready to explode!! When do u test Keep smiling!!


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## nik23 (Jan 2, 2009)

hey sharon,

i got insem on the 23rd march,so were roughly at the same place in the 2ww  , have you been getting pains similiar to when AF is due??  if i'm honest its all i can think about,i'm constantly looking up stuff to do with iui on the internet and driving myself   and one of my friends texts me twice a day to ask how i am,and its driving me bonkers,i know my family and friends care but just want to try and get on with the next couple of weeks as normal as poss,if that makes sense??

anyway,good luck and sending you lot of   and   for you hun

love nik xx


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## sharon x (Feb 14, 2009)

hi nic

Im not been gettin any pains which is worryin me!! Had a few when implantation should ov occurred but nothing since! Im the same az u n tryin to be normal!!!lol , but am really fed up ov mother in law asking questions!, anyway not too long to go now, when do ya test? Im the 3/4/09, but may wait till sat so dh is at home, but then again not sure!! 
Anyway big hugs and   to u 

sharon xx


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## sjane1 (Nov 12, 2008)

hi ladies, hope you dont mind me joining.  |Worst one for me is "if you stop thonking about it it will just happen!"  OK so people can chance medical problems with thoughts now!!! 

Sorry!  I am going slighltyh mad, got basted on out 2nd iui attempt on 16th March - two follies one 20mm .  I have had AF pains all the way through that appear to be getting worse and teatime ish for the last three nights I have feltmlike I had a bad hangover.  its 14 days tomorrow but we were told to wait 2 and half weeks so i did not buy a test yet but wish I had now.  Its driving me mad.

Anyone experience similair pains etc.  I have also has sore swollen (.)(.) for last two weeks TMI!!!!! Sorry

xxx


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## nik23 (Jan 2, 2009)

hi sharon,
how you getting on chuck?  i get my mother-in-law not asking me but going on my dh about it constantly  

hi sjane1,
i was told to not test til 18days later,surely theres a reason for this?? i did do a test today but it came back as a bfn,so maybe i have done it to early... will just have to wait and see if AF arrives

sending you both   

love nik xx


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