# The Cheese Cake Gang



## Betty-Boo

Welcome to your new home!


Happy   


   


Take care


Mini xxx


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## Honor77

Hi Buds,
How appropriate that we get a new home on the day we meet!
On my way back now, but had such a fantastic lunch and afternoon with you! Can't believe how quickly the time went - didn't seem like enough time to chat properly with everyone. Loved meeting you all in the "real world", and thought everyone was just as lovely as I'd imagined. Hope we can do it again soon!
Thanks to Dee and Maisie for organising and to Squirrel and Karen for the thoughtful gifts.
Love to all, and hope next time the rest of you will be able to make it!
xxx


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## 1972

How funny! We were saying at lunch how we've been left to chat for yonks on there, now a new home. 

Twinklie- it was a fab day and so lovely to meet everyone   everyone cheered me up as I was in wobble faze. 

Thanks to D for sorting menus etc. I never rubbed the bump godammit!!!!!

I'm waiting for train, missed one by 3 mins... Had such a lovely afternoon. Special   to Kat who I didn't get chance to chat too much. Until we meet again lol xxxxxx


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## Betty-Boo

Ah .. did think that as you were nearing 2000 posts    it was time for a new home..   


Happy Chatting


Mini xxx


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## Honor77

2,000 posts? Us? But we're all so quiet .


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## Betty-Boo

... yes very quiet!!    But I love it! Best way to be - the support on here is brilliant.


Mini xxx


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## Honor77

Do we win a prize for best thread?!


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## Pookychops

Evening,

Had a lovely day meeting up with you all. Thank you to squirrel and Karen for the presents and to everyone for the birthday wishes  

We could easily do it again tomorrow as so much to talk about and I didn't get to have a good natter with everyone.

I may have to bring dh next time as got home to a house full of smoke and burning smell and he's watching xfactor - he never watches it!   either that or order him a takeaway....


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## Hannushka

Evening,
What a great day!
Big thank you to Dee for being so organised, thank you Karen and Squirrel for prezzies, will be indulgin to my chocolates as soon as I've digested that fatty Whopper that sort of shouted at my name from the Burger King on the way home   I don't know what got into me there...  Also looking forward to my bath tonight, thanks to Karen xx Special keyring is already in use as well xx
EvaP- So sorry I didn't get to chat with you hardly at all,someone played a trick on me and glued my bum to the chair and prevented me from movin... But I love you nonetheless  
Honor- Thank you for collecting me from the Boots, I felt like a true tourist, I must start going to London more often. It ended up being a brilliant day despite the little nerves, didn't it  
Kat and Karen- Our wise owls, It was truly lovely to put real faces on the people who give the voice of reason to everyone here, and for you to actually travel to meet us from your far-away lands (well, not THAT far, but u know   ) it truly is amazing. 
Curly- but not so curly any more, lovely to meet you too, and thank you too for directing me to the right tube  
Rachel- It was lovely chatting to you as well, I hope my stories didn't put you right off from returning to work life   
Squirrell- Always wanted to see your fluffy tail, now I have, and it is rather awesome! Thank you for being my wine-buddy!! xx
Pooky- I want to join your front room yoga!  
Maisie- Glad you fought the 'poo-mood' and came too, was really nice chatting to you. Hope you got home in time for meds... Wishing you lots of    xx
Everyone, hope you are all well and the ones that came today had amazing day!
Lynn- Hope you are doing well, you have been quiet for a bit  
Twinklie- It was really good to be honest, wish you could've come too x
Ma-Me- By next time Camelot will get your number! I know how you feel, re: af, it's rather frustrating to feel that utter disappointment month after month, I even felt it this month though it would've been rather impossible for me to have got pregnant while dh is away but I still had that flood of disappointment when it came xx
afm- I will be having my bath now with the new bath salts and think I'm going to sleep rahter well after today xx
Hanna


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## 1972

Trigger shot done last night   here we go !

Thanks again to squirrel for the key ring, my new good luck charm and to Karen for my bath salts. I will be having a bath with that today. 

Hope you all got back safe and Karen, Kat and squirrel enjoyed the comedy night xxxx


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## bell26

Hope you all had an amazing time yesterday  
Sorry i couldn't be there, I hate flying at the best of times so thought it best not to get stressed on a plane at this stage !! Hopefully I can make it next time xxxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

First Cheesecake Fest photos now available on Google+!

Perhaps best way to keep all photos together, and so we can all add whatever we want to whenever we want would be for everyone to have the password to the account? Let me know if you want me to send you it. For the photos, alternatively mail in yours and I'll add them to the album.

xxx


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## Big hat

Morning ladies - feel I should get a post in before you all gallop away with your chatter and I have to read 35 pages again!

Twinklie - just to confirm for you and the other buds, the ladies were as wonderful and lovely as you could imagine or want them to be.  As a sometimes very shy person I felt truly at ease to be able to join in with all the chatter.

Gladys and Maisie - thank you so much for organising the day, and Karen and Squirrel thank you so much for our lovely gifts. Hanna, sometimes the pull of the 'naughty' food can be just too much to resist, and with your DH away a little indulgence is always excusable

Hope to meet the rest of you all at some point (Bell, Twinklie, Carey - and with your little bundles of joy).

Hope you all got home safe (after my pre-xmas drinks, we finally fell through the door at 12 to a rather desperate dog sitting with his legs crossed dying for a pee).  Now for my big talk with DH about where we go from here (wish me luck).

lots of love all

Curlyone
xx


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## 1972

I've  been besting all morning buds , cleaning , tidying , making the house nice so I can relax for a week. now for a bath with Karen's lovely gift. 

Happy Sunday buds xxxxxx


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## rachel1972

wow what a great day thank you buds for being so lovely xx


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## rachel1972

good luck Curly 

maisie whats besting sounds great!


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## ma-me28

afternoon all sounds like you had a fab time yesterday, did think of you all
thanks to all for your kind words,
hanna extra layers definately needed now lol and it is disapointing with af it really upset me this month i think it was because i was actually feeling positive for first time in ages, and it just felt body was laughing at me for even thinking we could do it!.  
pooky meeting up sounds lovely am about all over xmas just let me know when you are down will definately arrange coffee(decaf lol)
hope everyone else is ok.


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## 1972

that should have been Nesting rachel lol !


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## Honor77

Keep the photos coming, gang!!

xxx


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## rachel1972

thank you Karen for the lovely bath salts have just had a lovely soak


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## Twinklie

Sounds like you all had a great time yesterday, sorry I could't be there. Can't believe I missed presents!    

Next time... I hope I'll be going to London at some point within the next couple of months, maybe someone will fancy a little mini-meetup then.   

Happy Sunday


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## 1972

Twinklie, I'm near to london so always up for mini meet ups.   Karen kindly face us all a sachet of bath salts, mine was honey and almond and I had a nice soak earlier. Squirrel also gave us all a cute keyring, was so sweet of them both.  

I'm starting to get v anxious re tomorrow. An going to listen to my self hypno cd for some calm


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## rachel1972

Maisie am and will be  thinking of you tomorrow.x


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## Nordickat

maisie all will be well tomorrow and your follies will be bursting with juicy eggs after yesterdays rush of happy hormonesa
twiklie we will do it again. we have to because i hardly spoke to maisie curly and eva.


it was a really lovely day and for the first time in 7 years ivf has made me feel normal rather than a sad lonely freak. thank you all for being you and making yesterday so great. my idea of hell by the way is lunch with 12 women girly gossiping but i loved everysecond. comedy was fab and just what the dr ordered and my credit card and i had a lovely day today - seems i did not need your help maisie afterall as a am now the proud owner of the most gorgeous and cosiest jacket you have ever seen. for now though i am stuck in heathrow since the pilot seems to be lost in the fog.


see you all another day i hope xxx


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## 1972

Thanks Kat and Rachel x 

Just done my 30 mins of breathing etc. Feel bit better. Glad you managed to do some shopping Kat   hope youve got that coat on, it's bloody freezing here today. Safe journey back xxxxxxx


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## Twinklie

Good luck tomorrow Maisie!     

How are our PUPO ladies doing...?


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## 1972

Thanks twinklie x


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## Nordickat

lol maisie. its a north face down parker so it needs to be -10 before i can wear it. checked with dh and its too warm at home too so might take it to work and go stand in the walkin freezer for a while! lots of luck tomorrow and i bet those follies do you proud.


ooh they found the pilot. just hope they didnt find him in the bar!


sweet dreams all xxx


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## Pookychops

Did you get any full length jeans tho kat? 

Maisie - it's natural to be a bit nervous. You'll be fine, just keep visualizing happy juicy eggs that will make beautiful masisiemoo babies   good luck for tomorrow!

Twinklie - I'm in London too so can do a mini meet up anytime really. As for being pupo, just about holding it together. Very up and down about it all. Had a nice relaxing day and made the Xmas cake. About to have roast pork for dinner   only four more sleeps to testing and hoping that the achey feeling down there isn't the evil witch getting ready to make an appearance!


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## 1972

pooky!


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## Nordickat

more delays. pilot must have been in the bar afterall.


tall bird - no jeans as the melting plastic smell from my credit card made me think i had spent enough lol. wonder if dh will fall for the 'it was the pills' excuse again. those tummy pulls are either stetches from too mucg foodyesterday, or more likely an embie or two snuggling in. xxx


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## Honor77

for tomorrow *maisie*!

Not long to go, *Pooky* - stay !

*Kat*: Hope your credit card isn't too tired, and also enjoyed itself in various food-selling establishments!

Wish we were meeting again next Saturday... Missing you all already .

xxx


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## Honor77

Oh, and we HAVE to convert as many Buds as possible to Skype so we can at least have regular chats! I know there's an option for group chats, but think you just can't use the webcam with it... THE CHEESECAKE CHATS!!! 

xxx


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## Pookychops

I've heard that you can do group video calls on google + not sure though. Havent looked into it but it came up while we were on a skype call last night. You have to pay if you do it on Skype.


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## 1972

Oh no Kat.... Fingers crossed. At least the later you are, you can sneak in without DH seeing goodies you've bought?!

Honor- I've sent you Skype request. I've never actually used the thing, but I'm up for it some time xxx

Thanks for all the wishes. Xxx


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## Big hat

before din dins just thought:

- Maisie - best of luck for tomorrow - I'll be thinking of you. Did the arm exercise with DH, and it does work - think he was a bit shocked. x

- Pooky and Karen - good luck for this week, and you too Evap!!!!!!....having met you all I am now more than ever keeping everything crossed, and really hoping your dreams come true.

Twinklie - am also around London for a mini-meet-up. x

Kat - oo new coat - hope you've got home ok.  I completely agree with you - during big chat with DH today I did say to him after nearly 20 years of holding in feelings and keeping a smile on my face through all the 'are you going to have kids/want to have kids/not having kids' etc it was the first time people knew everything and I didn't feel their pity or I was their anecdote along the lines of 'my friend can't have kids, and blah, blah, blah'.  DH even said he was surprised I'd girded myself   and met you all in person so, an enormous thank you all SO much. xxxxx

Curlyone

xx
xx


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## Honor77

Glad to have been of service, *Curly*! Any time! Glad you came along and loved meeting you .

I had a look on Google+ and there is a "hangout" option. Installed what I needed to and invited everyone. Not sure exactly what "hangout" does, but suspects it may end up involving an element of several annoyed DHs if we "hang out" for as long as we lunch .

xxx


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## 1972

Ah, curly honey..  Maybe us uk based buds could meet more regularly and just chat , eat , chat. I'm up for that anytime xxxx

I'm trying to eat as much as possible to last me to post op  

Xx


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## Honor77

Still there, *Kat*? You may be in for a looong wait...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-15813143

xxx

/links


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## Hannushka

Oh no, Kat, hope you get to fly soon. The fog is pretty thick, went to do my shopping earlier and it was so thick couldn't see further than a metre forward. I forced my housemate to drive pretty much 20m/h incase we were gonna hit a fox or something  
Maisie- I'm up for mini-meet ups too 
afm- Bought a new pair of silver kitten heels from ASDA today, £10!! and they are gorgeous! They were to go with a dress I was planning to wear for our special shopping evening wednesday but suddenly the dress looks rather frumpy and I don't want to wear it anymore   I want a new dress!  And no, no sign of dh, I'm now absolutely furious and sent him a msg that my ring is going to the pawn shop tomorrow. (it wont, of course and I'm sure he knows it too  ) I can't believe he's being such an inconsiderate B******  
It's getting ridiculous!
ggggggggggggggrrrrr...
Off to bath to calm down now...
karen- that bathsalt is awesome, it left such a beautiful scent in the bathroom for ages! And I got some left still so will be enjoying again xxx
Hanna


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## Honor77

Hi *Hanna*,

Love Asda and Tesco for clothes and shoes! My coat yesterday is from F&F at Tesco! Am sure you'll look fabulous in your dress, and new shoes .

Poor you still waiting on DH to return. Perhaps he's on his way but delayed by the fog? I hope so .

Hope you feel better after your bath.

xxx


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## Pookychops

Ok ladies, I think I've now started stressing! Trying to figure how not to wee until Thursday so I don't face each loo visit with dread. Either that or how can I sleep till Thursday?? Bum bum bum bum bun! Maybe zita will help get me off to sleep. Night all xx


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## 1972

Oh no pooky, that feeling is awful. You have to be positive, think great thoughts. You can do this, you will be fine and you will get through the next few days! Say it out loud. 

Also try hypno thing if just say 3,2,1 relax out loud. It really helps, honest xxxxxxxxxx

Im off to bed now. 12 hours til EC!


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## Nordickat

Maisie - I hope you got on well today and are currently enjoying some cool valium/morphine dreams   

Hanna - I hope there is good news today on the DH front   

Curly - I hope the big talk went ok and you have a 'what next' plan   

Honor - my credit card had a lovely time thanks but will have to rest itself for a while now or at least until I can work out if I can get pupster a paperround or chimney sweeping job to pay off the shopping bill   

Well I finally crawled into my bed at 1am after a delightful few hours at Heathrow. I have concluded though that I may not be cut out to be a mum after 3 hours stuck on a plane with the brats from hell. If mine were to turn out like these ones they would be on ebay or sold to the slave trade in a flash and certainly never inflicted on the general public locked in a plane. Oh and I nearly drowned in my own sweat wearing my new coat to walk home   

Pooky, Eva and Karen -     good things come in 3s remember


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## Carey

Afternoon Buds,

Oh my was i starting to panic...... I thought i had lost you girlies as it wouldnt let me get onto our new home. Im so glad i have found you now.

Sounds as though you had a fab time at the Cheese Cake Gang meet up, i am so wanting to come to the next one, cant wait  
I must get signed up to Google+ so that i can see all the photos that have been taken. Maybe i will find a minute this week to do that.

Maisie - How did you EC go hun? I hope your feeling ok? xx

Pooky - Stay Positive   Im   for you xx

Kat - Sounds as though you had a long wait for your bed, bloody fog, it was really bad hear in Norwich too. Im glad you got home safely though xx

Ma-me - WELL DONE hun on your Size 12 dress   Cant wait to see the new you   xx

Hanna - New shoes, love shoe shopping..... why not treat yourself to a new dress too, although im sure you look great in the one you have xx

Sending all my other buds a great big   &   thinking of you all.

How far have you girls got with your christmas shopping? We went into the city yesterday to try & get most of them but only managed to get a few  
Im now going to trawl the internet & see if i can get a few that way. 

Chat soon, Take care xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## 1972

I'm home buds. 5 bloody eggs again ! Same as last 2 times!!!!!    now for tomorrows news. 

Tum is sore and I'm bleeding quite a bit  

Time for sofa and crap telly xxxxc


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## Twinklie

5 eggs is great, Maisie! Will be keeping all fingers crossed for your call tomorrow.   

Take it easy and hope you recover quickly. There is a good chance you won't have to go through this again!


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## Pookychops

Maisie - five eggs is good. I'm sure that they are all fighting fit and getting jiggy with dh's boys as I type.

Rest up and have lots of kitty cuddles this afternoon.

Take care

Pooky xx


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## Honor77

on your 5 eggs, *maisie*! It's definitely a good number! We had 5 and still got 2 embies and a BFP .
Enjoy a relaxing afternoon, and hope your call tomorrow brings good news .

*Kat*: I'm sure your children would be absolute model mini citizens .

Hope you're bearing up, *Pooky*... I know that feeling well, even when not PUPO... Keeping everything crossed for you .

Hi *Carey* , glad you were able to find us!

xxx


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## beadyeyes

Hi! Still reading, just not posting here much.
Glad you all had a lovely cheesecakey meet!  

xxx


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## Pookychops

Hi beady, nice to see you. All going well I hope?

Carey - I haven't even thought about Xmas shopping yet, well, I do keep thinking about it and then I make myself stop - too much to think about!

Kat - glad you got home ok. Have a nice early night tonight and I hope it gets nice and cold soon so you can wear your coat and not melt!

Squirrel - did you get back ok?

Hanna - my brother is off to romania tonight - do you want him to go and have a word? 

Karen - happy birthday! I hope you had a good weekend and had some top quality dim sum yesterday. Hope you had a good journey home and don't get caught up in the fog.

Curlyone - it is so good to be able to talk to others isn't? And to have no awkward questions re fertility. I hope you and dh had a good chat.

I was slightly horrified this morning when I put my new blouse on and could barely do up the last button - too much cake and not enough excercise me thinks! Dh was very sweet last night and was patting my belly saying there's a baby in there. I pointed out that it may just be wind and lets just wait and see!
The reorg was announced today and there should be lots of new opportunities coming up. They will anounce the cut backs in two weeks. Its like the war and peace the length of this reorg/ outsourcing plan!


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## Honor77

, Karen! Hope you're enjoying your break in civilisation and are in for a fantastic birthday pressie this year!

You there, *squirrel*? Hope you enjoyed the rest of your London weekend and got home ok .

DH may well be right, *Pooky* !!!

xxx


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## beadyeyes

All good thanks! Except falling over today!!! 

Hubby brought me cheesecake to cheer me up!


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## Pookychops

We'll see. Is it tomorrow you're off to your mums?


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## Pookychops

Oh dear beady. You didn't land on your bump did you?


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## 1972

Happy birthday to Karen  

I'm feeling rough buds. My tum is incredibly distended and sore. I feel sick and can't eat. I don't recall being this bad last time and surely I didn't respond enough for ohss I can't move :-(

Pooky - best get used to clothes not fitting  

Xxxxxx


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## Pookychops

Oh Maisie - are you drinking lots of water and taken some paracetamol? If its too bad and paracetamol not helping you should call the clinic. They probably poked and prodded around in there to get past your fibroid and that's why you're bloating and sore. 

I hope you start to feel better soon and that dh is looking after you.


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## Nordickat

Maisie - General anesthetic can make you feel like that but it'll be better by morning if its that. You don't have to have loads of eggs to get OHSS. I had it after 12 (I think) eggs although not as seriously as when I had a lot more eggs. Make sure you are drinking - small sips often is better than trying gulp loads down. And call the clinic first thing, especially if you wake feeling worse rather than better. You are in trouble with OHSS if it starts to become hard to breath as the fluid squashes your lungs - thats when you need a trip to A&E - I'm only telling you that so you know when to go to hospital and not because I think you have it. Its probably just from the ec drugs and that pesky fibroid you have in the way, so rest up and call the clinic tomorrow if you still feel really bad.    

Good work on those 5 eggs though, I have they go on the fertilize, divide and conquer


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## 1972

Thanks buds. Paracetamol taken. Trying to drink but drink = more full!!!!! I'm very uncomfortable rather than extreme agony so hopefully will feel better tomorrow. 

DH being sweet, treating me like I'm an elderly deaf disabled women lol 

Will be more on form tomorrow to do more personals


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## Nordickat

EC is a fair enough excuse for not doing personals IMHO. Use a straw to drink as that somehow tricks your brain into thinking its not drinking as much   . Tiny sips all the time    Bless your DH


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## beadyeyes

No, left hand side! But knacked my hip!! Thanks girls xx

Well done on your eggs maisie!


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## rachel1972

hi everyone 

Maisie  hope you feel beter soon loads of protien aswell as water.
Hanna   
Kat you have got my dream coat went for one from tesco this year north face is a bit out of my budget for now.
    to Pooky, EVAp and Karen hope i havent missed anyone testing this week.
Always up for chat and face to face meet it was really nice , i was thinking the one plus to IVF is the wonderful people I have met along the way.  
Rachel x


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## Hannushka

Pooky-   Keep your DH away from my husband for your own good!!! You won't see him for at least a month if they get together!!  
Maisie- 5 Eggs is good, I once heard if you get lots, the quality won't be that good, remember, I had 16, which from 9 looked viable, but only 4 survived. Do not worry... Hope bleeding has died down and you are feeling better, Best of luck for good news tomorrow xxx   
Carey- You read my mind, I bought a new dress today, I can't possibly put on a dress I don't feel comfortable in. But the money spent just for a working evening in total madness... I should be able to put that on expenses!!  
Kat- I had a total nervous breakdown yesterday and sent the foulest message to him, followed by another message to his poor little brother , who took it so seriously, he actually called my housemate so that she would try to calm me down and prevent me from packing my bags    This morning I got the sweetest message from hubby's other phone saying 'hey honey-bunny (he NEVER calls me honey-bunny so this means bad news to me ), I have lost my other phone, that's why I didn't call...' (total bull***, I will strip search him when he arrives and I can guarantee I will find both phones on him) He followed by telling his brother is buying him a ticket for wednesday, now that is BRILLIANT, cause that is when the shopping evening is, so, he doesn't know and will be rather worried when I won't be home in my usual time at 7pm but around 11ish. To scare him even more I am contemplating on not coming home at all but to book myself to the Travelodge which is 5 minutes from our house. Is that evil?   
Honor- The above will explain there is no fog problem with my dh, just stupidness and ignorance   But thank you xx  
Beadyeyes- Hello! Join in, join in!! xxx
Karen-     Hope you had a brilliant day xx
So, dh front still not sorted, I won't be holding my breath for the wednesday either, knowing him, he probably ties his shoe laces together and misses his plane again   Not looking forward to the 9.30am-10.30pm working day on wednesday and I'm left with a slight problem, the new dress clashes slightly with my new shoes, talking about a vicious cycle. I'm past caring now, I shall do the 'walk really fast and no-one will notice-thing' though I know this is gonna bug me   Why oh why I bought silver shoes and not black...  Gosh, my problems really aren't worth moaning about... I have my speech ready for my dh, want to do the frozen cycle by february, non negotiable! Guys website says £850 and even if I have to pay for the transfer, I think it wont be more than £200, which will still be £150 cheaper than with QM's. Not a lot but I think I'll be more relaxed if I change clinic...
But, time for bed now, early wake tomorrow, take care lovelies
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna


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## Nordickat

hanna   - I really hope your DH is on that plane on Wednesday. And I hope he makes amends by buying you more shoes to go with the dress  . But I did have to laugh at the walking really fast plan to make your shoes a blur   . And change clinics. Being relaxed and happy at your clinic is more important than people realise.

  and   to this weeks POAS pose. I hope its a triple celebration this week   
 to maise, I hope those eggs have done you proud.


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## 1972

Morning buds. 

No call yet for me. I am feeling terrible, didn't sleep well at all, every shift in bed was painful. I think drugs have messed me up too as seem full of gas and haven't been to loo.  Laying hurts, sitting hurts, walking hurts   was supposed to see hypno women today but just can't. DH back at work so in laying on sofa with alot of sky + junk to watch. 

Hanna- glad to hear DH is hopefully coming home. You must be going nuts with him not around and not in touch xxxxxx

Pooky- hope you are staying  

Beady - be careful!!!

Kat- you'd need your coat here now, turned chilly x

Rachel-


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Am loving the evil plan to stay overnight at Travelodge , *Hanna*! Not such an evil plan though, all things considered!
A good idea to change clinics too - could be a win-win situation if you're happier with a new clinic AND can save some money .

*maisie*: Sorry you're not feeling good . Perhaps you'll feel a bit better once you've had the call to dispel your fears . Not that I think it's all in your mind, but perhaps worrying so much is not helping matters and hearing the good news that you have good strong embies to put back will be such a relief that you'll relax a bit and consequently feel a bit better?? I hope so anyhow; if not, then definitely call the clinic - better to be safe than sorry .

*Rachel*: You said it perfectly - meeting you guys has been a ray of sunshine through all the fog and rain .

Oh, take care, *Beadyeyes*! Glad your fall wasn't too serious .

How's it going, PUPO ladies *Pooky*, *Karen* and *Evap*?  *Kat* is right and good things DO come in threes!  and  for you all.

*AFM*: Am off up to my parents' this afternoon so need to get sorted and packed. We did the cleaning yesterday and then went to the local shops for some things and to have lunch at the Italian restaurant there, which was nice to do before having to do something not nice: take down the missing cat posters . Last night we wanted to release the balloons - one for Pépite and Pépin and one for Neo - only when we got outside, there was absolutely no wind and the balloons weren't going anywhere... We're hoping to be able to release them this morning instead, but it doesn't look like there's even a breeze this morning.

Hope everyone's doing ok - love to all ,

xxx


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## 1972

Had the call... 

4 were viable for ICSI and 2 of them have fertilised. Mixed emotions, gutted I didn't get more but pleased I have 2 to go back. Day 2 ET tomorrow . 

Honor-  , hope you get to release the balloons xxxxxx


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## Honor77

That's great, *maisie* ! I know you'd have been hoping for more - we all always do, but the main thing is to have good quality ones to go back, and you do only need the one . We only got 2 embies out of 5 eggs, 1 was put back as a day 3 but one as a day 2 embie and it still resulted in a BFP, so please don't be too disheartened .

xxx


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## Pookychops

That's good news Maisie   putting two back in will give them a good chance. It's much better for them to develop inside you than in a petri dish - I know they probably don't use petri dishes but that's how I visualise it.

Try moving about a bit as that will help work the evil drugs from yesterday out of your system and will hopefully make you feel a bit better. Plus enjoy the snuggling on the sofa - its a perfect grey day for it out there.  

Hanna - it's my brother going out there and his wife is used to him disappearing weeks at a time as he used to work offshore and he would often be gone 5-6 weeks at a time. or go somewhere for one week and come back 5 weeks later. It caused a lot of problems in their marriage but they are good now.

Honor - have a safe trip home. you may need some helium to help your balloons fly away.

not feeling too bad today. Just been stood up for the second interview in a row so am catching up on personals while i have a bit of privacy!


----------



## Pookychops

ps - the progesterone is giving me really bad wind at the moment! I so hope I don't embarrass myself at work!


----------



## Big hat

Morning ladies  ,

Maisie - how fabulous.  All else aside, at this moment you have 2 beautiful little babies doing their 'stuff' to grown for their mummy and daddy   . Hope your pain and discomfort is getting at least a little bit better.

Honor - releasing your balloons?  I think this may be a good sign for your journey.  Let us know when you are able to do it and we'll send some positive vibes your way and skywards  .  x

Hanna - good on you! I hope DH comes home suitably chastised, and ready to comply with your wishes (another pair of shoes maybe?).  Roll on Fet February!!!!!!!  

Karen - happy birthday  , and thinking of you.  Really hope you've got your bfp for your birthday. x

Pooky - Surely, the tight blouse must be a sign? It sounds like it may be a godsend that your interviewees have decided the weather is too miserable  to go out in . I really hope you get your wonderful birthday present too. x

Beady - take care of yourself - we can't have mishaps happening to precious buds!  

Gladys - did we lose you on your way home?  Was all that praise for organising Saturday too much?  

Rachel - onwards and upwards lady!  Really good to meet you too.  Hope you can persuade DH that another little baby is just what you all need  . xx


Carey - we haven't even thought about where we are going to spend christmas, let alone do anything about gifts for it (well, apart from list what I think DH and I need from everyone else  ). I hope you are trailblazing for us and can offer some good gift ideas. x

Kat - glad you are home safe. x

Hi Twinklie  

Afm.  Talk with DH wasn't quite as BIG as I'd expected it to be.  I'd even taken a pen and pad with me - what was I going to do - minute it(?) - I don't know..... It seems, from talking to friends on Saturday night, that most people we know seem to be revisiting their spreadsheets and future plans for some 'retweaking' if we are all to achieve what we have been working towards.  Mind you, most of them have children/babies or, are currently pregnant.  Maisie, before we did the chat I did get DH to do your arm exercise (at the beginning of walking the dog, so he had plenty of time to ruminate before our chat  ) and I think that focussed his mind in a slightly different way (phew). However, the upshot is, my focus has to be getting a new contract, and from there, we can plan next treatment....

hugs all.  Hoping for good news from our pupo ladies.  xxx

Curlyone

xx


----------



## Nordickat

maisie - fab news about 2 wee embies to go  back. You are probably just constipated then, even the general anesthetic ones add to that problem. DH needs to get you  some prune juice or prunes, some kiwi fruit, proper apple juice (the cloudy fresh stuff) and some probiotic yogurt (ot mis the prunes with if you don't like them) that combo will ge things moving. DH nearly called an abulance for me after one ec because the pain was so bad I couldn't do anything but scream!


----------



## 1972

Lol, DH at work, none of the above foods in the house! I seem to remember being constipated first time . Bits are deffo feeling delicate though and still bleeding a tad. This process is so bloody undignified!!


----------



## Twinklie

PUPO ladies - best get used to constipation and embarrassing wind - once you're just "P" it won't go away!   

Maisie - two embies is just what you need, or actually you just need one that is good enough. Going to blast can feel reassuring as you know that the embies were strong enough to get that far, but I've had two fresh blast transfers and they were both a BFN. And so many people have had 2 day transfers and had a BFP. You need that one golden embie and that's all that matters. Keep the faith honey and good luck for ET tomorrow!


----------



## Nordickat

maisie - DH had better get himself to the shops for you  on the way home then


----------



## 1972

Kat - unfortunately he works til late today and won't be home until 10.45pm. I'm sure nature will take its course.....    

What date will you be starting again?? Xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello ladies! Aaah - just had crisis finding you all, and now desperately trying to catch up! To all ladies who couldnt make it to cheesecake meet up - we all still love you, and looking forward to meeting you next time   xx
To all ladies who did meet up - awesome weekend, well worth it, could have talked to you all for hours. You poor things   xx

Maisiemoo - you brave thing! Two to transfer is amazing! You only need one! Well done for getting through it, and keep your chin up and tits out. Huge amounts of good luck for the ET. Now listen here - all the wonderful positivity chat you told me - embrace it and huggle it, and just think - statistically, you are closer to your BFP than you have ever been, and there is no reason it cant work for you! Rest up, take paracetamol, follow the wonderful kats guide to nutrition, and you will get through this! You will be pupo soon! How exciting!   xx

Kat - glad you made it back without maiming the evil brats! Cant email you in prison  ! New jacket sounds ace, retail therapy always good. Hope your pooch has forgiven you for deserting him for the weekend! Hope dh pleased to see you back.   and thanks for guiding me around london! Xx

Karen - happy birthday for yesterday, fingers crossed for otd. Fab to meet you, skype soon and safe trip back! Xx

Honor - lovely to put a face to a voice! So sorry didnt manage to chat to you for long, but always on the end of a skype! I hope you can release your balloons soon and that it makes you feel even a little bit better. Hugs xx

Hanna - wine buddy! Great to meet you, and really hope the dh situation sorts itself out with multiple guilty presents and naughtiness  . Sounds like you deserve to be treated like a princess! Bet the shoes will look ace and what a bargain. Nicely done my girl xx

Curly - so glad your shyness was overcome! Great to meet you, and jope after your chat with dh, you came to some conclusions and feel better for it. Any plans then? Xx

Rachel - well said - was great to meet such lovely people! I hope you can make some good plans for the future now dh on board with diagnosis etc. Keep going! Xx

Mame - great to see you back, huge congrats on the weight loss. Must take a leaf out of your healthy book xx

EvaP - lovely to meet you! Good luck with otd   xx

Pooky - could have chatted for ages! Must find you on skype. Good luck this week, will be here for you anytime. Keep us posted and dont test early! Naughty pooky! Xx

Carey - hi hon, glad all good your end, think we both nearly had a panic about finding the thread again! Xx

Beady - hi hon! Hows things? Xx

Everyone - i am hugely grateful and thankful to you all. Couldnt have got through the last year without you. Honestly. Even if i didnt meet you face to face, or even if I did - you have all been great. True buddies.   xx

AFM, made it back, straight into work monday and emergency surgery til late last night (not me, a poor dog!) Knackered and a little emotional if I am honest, but meeting you all has made me hope again. Onwards, chin up tits out. Love squirrel xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## zedster76

buds, you all sound like you had a great time when you met up . . . . really wished I could have been there, but with my absence from FF you've probably all forgot me now 

I do hope there's been some fairy dust sprinkled 

Love n hugs 

zoe
x


----------



## rachel1972

Maise   

Hi to everyone great posting


----------



## Carey

Maisie - Just wanted to wish you lots of luck for your ET tomorrow     

Hi to everybody else...... xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks buds. I need to start feeling better as right now noone is coming near me for transfer


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - I had a thought while walking the dog. You had 2 triggers didn't you? No wonder you are ready to burst. I think you need to get DH to call in somewhere on his way home for some supplies of things to ease it along. Feeling so uncomfy is horrid after et.

Things have taken a slight nose dive in KatWorld but I will try my hardest to get on to congratulate the BFPs this week     

Even when I'm not here though I'm wishing wonderful things upon you all.
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Kat - what's up??


----------



## Honor77

GOOD LUCK for tomorrow, maisie. Hope you're feeling better in time and it goes well.

Hugs for Kat.

Hi Zoe, we haven't forgotten you at all! Don't forget: Once a bud, always a bud; I'm afraid there is no escape. Hope you're doing well.

Love to everyone else too,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

GOOD LUCK to today's tester(s)..!

xxx


----------



## 1972

Happy birthday pooky!!!!! Xxx

I think evap was testing officially today   

Think Karen and pooky are tomorrow   

I had a terrible evening yesterday. Stomach got really bad, laying was agony, weeing was agony and I ended up in tears and going to bed at 9pm. I suffer from ibs and took some of my tablets for that and they've helped. Think I was full of gas, constipated, everything's swollen so was pushing etc . Still uncomfortable but not like yesterday.. 

ET at 1.45 then got acupuncture at 5pm. I've been reading conflicting things re acu after ET- those who've had it, did they out needles in your abdomen 

 to everyone xxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - good luck today. Hope u start to feel better. I've always had acupuncture before and after transfer.  She put needles in my belly to help with implantation. They should also be able to help you with your tum issues. I've found it really helps calm my dodgy tum down and get it moving.


----------



## Hannushka

Morning,
Just a quickie, on my way to the marathon 13 hour day with clashing shoes and a discoball dress  
Maisie- Good luck for ET today xxx I had THE worst constipation during my tx and after laparoscopy, apparently the anasthetic can put bowels to sleep. I tried that horrible sugary syrup drink, didn't work, looooads of water, Apricots,Figs,Papaya,Peaches, Pears or Prunes. After lap I had to actually use the suppository, and it helped immediately but I think you shouldn't use it during tx as it causes insides to contract.. Hope you feel better soon xx
Pooky- Happy belated birthday, honey  
Kat- Hope you are ok, just think of me running around the shopping centre like a road runner in my silver shoes, I'm sure that brings at least a tiny smile on your face, even if it is for just a short moment "meet,meeet" . In all seriousness, hang in there, and come back when you are ready xxx
Zoeee- Missed you, hope you are well, you did come to our conversation in the restaurant actually, when we were reminishing about our Eurovision chat DD So you were there!!! xx
I have got to run now, BTW, rather sore throat after screaming my lungs out on the phone to the hubby. I am sooooo angry, he wont be getting it for months!  
Take care all, and     to all testers and everyone else too 
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Honor77

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pooky!!! Hope you have a fab day and get the BEST belated present tomorrow! 
xxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks ladies

Good luck today hanna. Hope it's busy and the day goes quickly. I'm sure noone will notice the shoes don't match  

You will all be pleased to hear I've managed to go to the loo   little less uncomfortable bit still not great! Bloody IVF sucks!!!!!! Will be listening to hypno cd later as thought of being fuddled with makes me feel sick. I'm too sore still!


----------



## Big hat

Hiya,

Maisie - so sorry you're in pain. Everyone else has given such good advice of what to do I can't think of anymore...so, just keep thinking of those two little bubbas that you will have at 1.45, and the rest you will have to take to keep them snug  .  xxx

Hanna - I think your DH deserves the verbal   you've given him.  I hope you've started your christmas list, and that it's a LONG one!

Kat - you are such a strong and resilient woman I don't think any of us have any doubts you will get through this, and come out triumphant.  Just keep thinking of playing the long game and the goal at the end of it  . x

Pooky - happy birthday  

Karen - safe journey home.

Honor  hope all's going well with the family.

Squirrel - I have to admire you, working with animals.  I think I'd be in tears all the time, and no use to anyone  .  I hope your patient is recovering. xx

Hi to everyone else.

Curlyone
xx


----------



## 1972

Thanks curly. Leaving shortly for clinic. I'm still in alot of discomfort, something's deffo not right . Will speak to consultant when I get there. 

Xx


----------



## Evap

well ... it's a   for us!!!!!!! Over the moon although very, very cautious after what happened last time. 

Happy birthday to Pooky; Maisy lots of luck today hope you are feeling better, and hi to everyone else . Absolutely loved meeting you last Saturday, it was an absolute pleasure; I think I even managed to overcome my chronic shyness a little bit  . 

Karen, Pooky - good things come in threes... will stay tuned tomorrow for those BPF     

Lots of love to all. Might not post anymore but I think of all of you all the time  

Evap xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Congrats Evap!     

As I wasn't at the meetup I didn't get to hear about your tx, was it IVF? Such good news, so happy for you. I understand you're worried after what happened last time, but remember that this has nothing to do with that and it's much more likely that things will go well.


----------



## rachel1972

EVap congratulations - what do you mean you wont post anymore, I want to know how its going? xx

Maisie hope you are alright and on your way to going home x


----------



## Honor77

Wow, *Eva* ,  congratulations ! It was bound to be a BFP, you seemed so calm and happy . Try not to worry about history repeating itself, I agree with *Twinklie* that it's more likely things will go well. Please do keep in touch and keep us posted!

*maisie*: You ok? How did it go?  xxx

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

God I feel so dense, I have been checking on my iphone on the homepage for updates and thought that is odd no one has posted since Saturday and Eva just Pm's me and said she had posted on the thread and still nothing was popping up. So logged in on my computer and WE HAVE A NEW HOME AND I DIDN'T REALISE       So sorry for the radio silence.  I have very briefly scanned the pages.

Cheescake fest - It was so lovely to meet you all, I love that pic of all of us outside,xx

Karen - Hope you had a brill birthday in blighty on  Monday,     for this week.  Thanks for pressie.  Are the bath salts ok for pregnancy? 
Pooky - Happy birthday toady and      for this week. Pee in the jar Thursday morning and saved for the evening.
Kat - Coat sounds wonderful x
Curlyone - hello xx
Hanna - So glad you could make Saturday, I hope you enjoyed it I am sending you a huge hug
Squirrel - Lovely to see your tail wagging and thanks for pressie.
Maisiemoo- Two could be enough to produce that little one or two)  
Eva - Woohooo that is fab news

Hello to everyone else xxx

AFM - After |Saturdays marathon day , I have hung up my social shoes and diary for the foreseeable future otherwise house will remain a building site, washing won't be done and I won't get any sleep

Back to work now and so glad I didn't lose you all x


----------



## Evap

Thank you all so much for your nice messages  

Twinkle - we went back to Norway for IVF; this time we had 10 eggs, of which 9 fertilised. They used this new 'embryo glue' (haven't heard of that before; apparently it's a kind of sticky medium they coat the embryos in before ET) and it seems to have done the trick 

Honor - not calm nor happy .... but completely detached trying not to think about testing waaaay before OTD  . 

Rachel - I will of course post and come here, need to know how you are all doing. After having my MC last Aug I made a conscious effort to avoid anything to do with IVF, fertility and babies, I was so heart broken. That and also our old thread was locked and so didn't know where to find you all  . After meeting you on Saturday you have become my friends, there's no way I will not continue to post and see everyone get that BFP, one after another. 

Eva xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Wow, great result Eva. Shows a lot can happen and that no two cycles are the same. Yes, please do keep us updated, we want to know everything!


----------



## bell26

Huge mahoosive congrats Evap    fantastic early Christmas prezzie  xx
Hope the good news keeps on coming xx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds. I'm back. 2 little ones on board, one 2 cell average, one 4 cell good quality   ET quite traumatic .. Founder of my clinic has zero bedside manner and he did it. I told him re discomfort so he scanned me first and boy he pretty much shoved the probe through my cervix. It hurt so much I cried   he said he couldn't see anything. Anyway it went ok although v uncomfortable. Back in bay nurse came and explained ovaries are still very swollen and follicles fill with blood after draining so it's all very bruised and tender. She was very sweet. He however is a dick   shame as other 2 consultants are lovely. Now for   

Evap - so so pleased for you. Congratulations! Be happy and don't worry xxxxxx it was so lovely to meet you, you must keep in touch . Xx

Hi to everyone else. I've got acu at 5pm, just want to snuggle in warm but needs must. Xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Maisie - congrats on being PUPO! Sorry it wasn't a very pleasant experience but now you can put that behind you and concentrate on resting and looking after yourself. Sounds like there are good reasons why you're feeling uncomfortable but also that it will get better with a bit of time. Enjoy acu and        !


----------



## Honor77

No pain, no gain, *maisie*   on being PUPO!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

maise that sounds awful, what a horrible man! , Hope you feel ok tonight and get some quality rest for those little embies to bed down


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

What a fab afternoon this is turning out to be, after a pretty miserable start to the day/morning/lunch and tears from the bus stop to my parents' house  - *Eva's*  () AND arranging to meet up with the lovely *Lynn* tomorrow !

A long shot, but if anyone would like to also meet tomorrow in Carlisle, then let me know!!

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

eva congrats hun.
maisie congrats on being pupo hope 2ww flies by
hanna


----------



## lynn1303

Can't wait honor to meet you tomorrow. I was gutted I missed the meet up at the weekend. I think it would be lovely if some of our buds could make it to Carlisle tomorrow for a mini buds meet up!!! I'm traveling down from Glasgow so any fellow Scottish buds feel free to ride in thecar with me!!! 

Xxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Honor you get about , hope you were able to release some stress with your cry  
Wish i could go to scotland tomorrow have a great time !


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - congrats on being pupo! Did they say anything about you not feeling well? I hope you start to feel better soon. Just rest up and stay warm but not too much heat on your belly. Did the acupuncture help?

Evap - congrats on your bfp! Yeahy, you must be so happy!

Kat - hope you ok.  

D - thats baby brain kicking in!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes. Heading off out for dinner in a mo! My belly is really swollen - roll on the morning where we find out if its good news or too many pies


----------



## 1972

Pooky -    xxxxxx

Lynn/ honor - Carlisle is a tad too far!! Have a nice catch up though. Congrats on your graduation Lynn xxx

Normal acu man was on holiday so I had his partner. Some crazy German lady who did acu but whilst I was chilling did a foot massage and then did some weird rubbing of my tum!!! I have to say though j felt incredibly relaxed and sleepy. Feeling a little more me. Little ones settling in.  Xx


----------



## lynn1303

Thanks Maisie. Och get the train up u know u want to. Carlise is still in England. Dh face when I told him I was going to another country tomorrow for a gab!!! Lol. 

Happy birthday pooky. Good luck for tomorrow. 

Xxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Lol Lynn, it's only about 4 hours on train  

Karen - I hope you've had a safe journey home and have some good news for us   xxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

I did it, *maisie*, what's the problem ?
Hope you're feeling less sore soon .

*Rachel*: It's England  !!!! Don't worry, no one ever seems to know where it is!

*Pooky*: Enjoy your birthday dinner - where are you off to? Hope there's  involved !
 for tomorrow. Hope *Lynn* and I will be toasting your BFP news tomorrow lunchtime!

We'll toast your news too, *Eva* . And hopefully yours too, *Karen* .

*Lynn*:     !

xxx


----------



## Carey

Evap - Congrats on the BFP hun xx

Maisie - Yay PUPO hun xx

Pooky - Good lucj for tomoros test xx

xxxx


----------



## ma-me28

pooky good luck for tomorrow hun. x


----------



## Big hat

Eva - wonderous congratulations.  Your news makes me very happy.   

Maisie - out of what sounds an awful situation you did make me snort with your description of your consultant.  It all sounds awful, and you sound in so much pain.  Now is the time for you all snuggle down and enjoy the 2ww.  sending you  s. xx

Honor - so sorry you are so sad.  sweetie, it will be your turn, and all of this heartache will seem worth it (honest) .

Hi to all our other lovely buds  

Curlyone
xx


----------



## lynn1303

Can't sleep. Too excited about my wee trip to carlise tomorrow. Good luck to our 2 buds testing today. Hurry and wake up and test so we can congratulate u!!!! 

Evap so nice to hear ur bfp news. 

Zedster we could never forget u. How r u keeping? 

Big hugs for kat. 

Honor only about 10 hrs to go!!! Woop woop!!!!! 

Xxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

We did it, got a   let's just hope it sticks this time. Can't stop crying


----------



## 1972

Pooky- I'm so glad for you!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!


----------



## Twinklie

OMG! I'm so happy for you Pooky! I'm not surprised though, I was counting on you this time as I thought you really had everything going for you. Yes, let's hope it's a sticky one but there's no reason at all why it wouldn't be.


----------



## Honor77

Go *Pooky*, Go *Pooky*, Go *Pooky*!!! SO happy for you .

2 down, 1 to go:  for *Karen* .

At this rate, *Lynn* and I are going to be drinking ourselves under the table in congrats toasts !

Hope everyone else is ok today .

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

Pooky that is great news to start the day, congrats xxx


Karen - Any news hon?


Dxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Huge congrats to EvaP and Pooky!        
Love to all xxx


----------



## Evap

What a great start to the day .... congrats Pooky!!!!!!!!!!!       

Karen - just waiting for you to join us ... best of luck today  

Honor - really sorry to hear you are feeling sad    it will all be worth it in the end

Maisy - hope you are feeling better. It's all done now, just need to relax know and enjoy being PUPO. 

Hi to all  

Eva xxx


----------



## ma-me28

pooky thats fab news hun. x x


----------



## bell26

Pooky congratulations !! That is amazing news !! Hope this trend continues... Fingers crossed Karen xx


----------



## lynn1303

Woo hoo pooky!!!!! I'm so pleased. 

Fx Karen. 

Honor I shouldve got the train down with all these toasts but the buds will just have to contend with me toasting with orange juice!! Lol. 4 hours to go!!!!

Xxx


----------



## Honor77

*Lynn*: We can pretend it's orange and vodka or Bucks Fizz 
My mum has suggested somewhere for lunch that I haven't been to before because it's new, but it's supposed to be really good .

See you soon!

xxx


----------



## zedster76

Morning buds - first and foremost massive congratulations to Pooky and Evap . . . try not to worry (I know I did  ) and enjoy  . . . what a fantastic early Christmas present for you both

Well all I'm 25 weeks now . . . so on countdown . . . not sure if I told you all but its team pink for us . . . when I see my shadow now I could easily be mistaken for Peppa Pig!!! lol

. . . I just hope and pray everyone else's hopes and dreams come true soon  coz by God you all deserve it x

*Hanna - * eurovision 2011 will stay with me forever  . . . what a night

Love n hugs (my forever buds)

_I'm at work so cant write too much_

Zoe x x x x 
aka: the egg on legs


----------



## Hannushka

Morning buds,
Wow, AMAZING news to wake up to!
Eva & Pooky: Congrats for your     !!!  
Karen:    
Zoe:  Congrats on team  
Honor & Lynn- Hope you have brilliant time xx
Maisie: Congrats on being pupo! Hope you are feeling better, what a nasty experience with that awful man! My ** status would've fit him rather well (re: wearing a condom on his head    )
Everyone:  
afm- Will be having a well earned rest today. My feet have lost their feeling now after being super sore last night from running back and forth for 13 hours (minus 3 breaks). Hard work but felt really proud as we smashed last years figure by 10% and already last year 'the big people' were amazed by our performance (bonus please!!) + I had so many compliments about my new dress, no one mentioned the clashing shoes, but I managed to find a flower brooch that had a matching middle to my shoes so saved me life   So, feet up today, though I might put together a big box of charity shop donations. Want to start clearing all the unnecessary stuff so it'll be easier to move, when we move (or I MOVE, am not really putting much faith on the hubby atm) 
Take care all
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Big hat

Oh Pooky, I am so utterly and completely thrilled for you  !! Like Eva, you seemed so calm and quite serene at the weekend.  massive hugs lovely.

Zedster - go team pink  !!!

Honor and Lynn - have a lovely time tomorrow. x

Hanna - well done on putting together a zinging outfit.  Really hope DH pulls his socks up and sorts himself out, and comes home to look after DW!   

Karen - hey honey, any news.  I think us buds are becoming a little concerned at not hearing from you.  Really hoping it is because you are celebrating.  

best I get back to the job hunting, housecleaning, and hairwashing and titivating as we have guests tonight

hugs all

Curlyone
x


----------



## Honor77

Just realised, think I need to clarify: yesterday's  were for my , not ttc or tx related!

*Hanna*: Any sign of DH??
Enjoy your rest today - you SO deserve it! And I think when DH does appear, he needs to treat you to a spa break - am sure that's the law .

*Curly*: Happy job hunting, housecleaning, and hairwashing and titivating . Hope you have a lovely evening with your guests.

xxx


----------



## Honor77

This should make you laugh - was seeing if there's anything I could watch on catch-up on ITV Player and listed under "Most watched" is "Jeremy Kyle". What?! People actually watch this online if they miss it on TV??  

xxx


----------



## 1972

Yeah, what you saying honor ?!?!


----------



## Honor77

Oh! It was you??  Sorry  !

How are you feeling today?

xxx


----------



## Carey

Pooky - Congrats on your BFP Hun. so happy for you xx

Karen - I hope you get your BFP today too xxx

Honor77 - Sending you hugs   been thinking of you & Neo xxx

Lots of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## beadyeyes

Congratulations pooky and Eva!!! I am so so pleased for you both. 

Fingers crossed Karen - good luck comes in threes xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds.
I'm back home now, with proper internet access, and my first stop was direct to FF. Bloody hell - 12 pages already girls! it took me ages to catch up.
It was so wonderful to meet you on Saturday, and I just wish I lived closer.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful birthday greetings. I had a lovely day, shopping in and around Oxford Street, then afternoon tea at Montague on the Gardens, then a quick whip around the British Museum. I was then so full and tired we just went to the Pub for dinner near where we were staying. A very romantic burger and chips 

However, the next day my world fell apart. I didn't even need to do a test. AF arrived and informed me personally that, yet again, the universe does not want me to be a mother.
I was, and still am, devastated. I held myself together until we got home, but since about 6pm last night I haven't stopped crying. There just seems no purpose to doing any of this anymore. I'm heading into a real hole right now and I can only take 1 day at a time. If I manage to get up out of bed again tomorrow it will be a major achievement. I know it takes time, but I wish I could just go into some sort of coma until the sadness goes away.

*Maisie *- Good luck for you, hun, and rest assured that my BFN has statistically improved your chances significantly. I really believe this will work for you. You believe it too. 3-2-1...relax   

*Pooky and Eva* - Congratulations on the BFP - it's really fantastic news, and I hope they both stick tight. There's no reason why they shouldn't.   

*AFM *- I'm taking a little break now from all things 'fertility'. I need time. DH and I don't know if we can do this again. Emotionally and financially, this may be the end of the line.
Love to you all, and good luck with whatever direction you are heading. I'll lurk from time to time, and I hope I can be back again soon.



_*I try to take one day at a time, but some sometimes several days attack me at once.*_


----------



## bell26

Karen, I am so so so sorry, take care of yourself and we are all here for you if and when you need us. There is nothing I can say to make this better, just sending you lots of cuddles xx


----------



## 1972

Oh Karen honey   I'm so sorry to hear that.   I thought maybe our bus meeting would bring us all good luck and good news.   I'm glad you managed to have a good break and birthday. Please don't be a stranger, we are all friends now who were bought together by FF but share much more. Don't give up. Mother nature is so cruel but does give us miracles too. Lots of love and hugs xxxxxxx

Honor- I don't really watch Jeremy Kyle, I'm more homes under hammer kind of girl  I'm feeling bit better, can get clothes on now! Going to meet my mum now, tomorrow having facial, Saturday roots done and then back to work Monday. Will be listening to my hypno cd and trying to stay calm. Enjoy lunch with Lynn. Xx

Kat - missing you


----------



## Honor77

*Karen*. So sorry you're having to go through this . Take as much time as you need, we'll be here waiting for you when you need us and in whatever way we can be . Let me know whenever you want to rant and rave or otherwise via Skype, am usually around to chat.

xxx


----------



## beadyeyes

Karen I'm so sorry. I cannot imagine how you are feeling. So much love xxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Karen, sweetie pie, I am so sorry.  Gosh, sometimes this process is so cruel.  I am sending you the biggest hug I can muster  .  As the other buds have said, don't be a stranger; come back to us when you are ready and let us know how you are and what you're doing.  

lots of love to you and DH

Curlyone
x


----------



## Twinklie

I'm so sorry Karen     I know how devastating each BFN is. Take all the time you need, we are all here for you when you are ready to discuss the future.


----------



## zedster76

*Karen*  please don't give up on your dream x x x x x


----------



## squirrel2010

Darling Karen - i just wanted to say how much we love you, and think of you. I know your poor world has fallen apart, but if we can be there in any way, let us know. Words are not enough, and I know I could send you the biggest hug in the world and it wont help right now.  Thinking of you and DH.    xx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky and Eva - chuffed to bits for you both. Huge congratulations.


----------



## rachel1972

Karen - I hear your pain , I hope you can find something to get you through this painful time.   We are all hear for you when you are ready to share again with your wise words. xx


----------



## Nordickat

Karen - I´m so truly sorry for you and shed a tear or two on your behalf. I so wanted this to be your turn. Thinking of you both and take care of each other.


----------



## rachel1972

POOKY POOKY POOKY , enjoy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    you did it whooooooooooooooooo


----------



## Gladys07

Karen - I also shed a tear for you. I am so sorry.  Take a break and do what ever you need to do and enjoy life a little hwile without it being consumed by fertility.  Look at it again in the new year with fresh eyes before you make any decisions. Dxx


----------



## Honor77

Just had the most fantastic lunch/afternoon with Lynn Cheesecake Fest Part II, only without the cheesecake, sorry... 

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

karen


----------



## Pookychops

Karen - I'm so so sorry for you. I was so hoping that it would be your time. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love and hugs xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Karen hunni. I'm so sorry. Words can't help u just. Now but trust we r all here for u when u feel u can face the world again. 

Well I had a lovely lunch with honor today. We may not have eaten any cheesecake but we did get our pic taken nxt to an open cheesecake recipe book!!! Lol

I wish I could have met u all on sat but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I enjoyed having honor all to myself!!!!!

I'm on Skype to. Pm me ur name and I can add u. Hopefully we can have a group call.  

Big hugs. Xxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Karen- I'm so sorry to hear your news    I so hoped it had been your time... Please stay strong and come back here when you're good and ready. We will wait xx


----------



## Evap

Karen - I'm so sorry   . Please do not give up just yet; take a complete break from all fertility-related stuff, enjoy Christmas with lovely hubby and look at the situation with fresh eyes come the New Year. We love you lots, really sad that it didn't happen for you this time . 

Lots of love
Eva xxxx


----------



## Carey

Karen - Im so sorry to read your post, i want to send you & DH lots & lots of BIG            
I hope you can one day find the strengh to continue your dream to be a mother as i know you would make a fab one  
Take care for now, hope to talk again soon.
Love Carey xx


----------



## 1972

Afternoon everyone. 

Still thinking of Karen  

I'm feeling more normal. Still pains like I've pulled a muscle, bit random. Had a nice relaxing facial today, trying to do things to take mind off stuff. Waiting for holistic women to get back to me re reiki early next week, got 2 old friends coming weds for dinner- they don't know my situation, then German crazy acu women Friday. Dreading going back to work Monday...


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - are you feeling any better? I hope dh is looking after you and that bridesmaids made you chuckle. Do you have Wilson Philips in your head now? I couldn't get rid of that song for at least three weeks after I last watched it!

Honor - how are you coping with your visit to your mum? 

Kat - how are you? I hope things in kat world are picking up.  

Karen - if you are still checking in  

Squirrel - how are you? Is the hrt still giving you hot flushes?

Hanna - I think you could do with a good night out where you can let your hair down and not worry about work the next day. Probably not easy at this time of the year though. 

Hello to everyone else  

I spoke to one of the doctors yesterday and have to up my thyroxine by one third. They can't test it at the moment as the reading will still be out due to the ivf drugs. I feel like its a bit of a shot in the dark. If I get palpitations I then have to adjust the dose myself. My first scan is booked for the 15 dec and they will test my thyroid levels then. Tum is still very bloated and doc said that I have to keep an eye on that as could be ohss? Have upped my fluid intake again. The loo is my best friend  

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Been a bit quiet on here... Hope everyone's doing ok ?

Can't believe that this time last week I was chatting away to you all in London, and just a few days ago to *Lynn*! Meeting you all has proven the highlight of my year, with everything else having been so rubbish and my *Buds* always being there and such wonderful support .

Having a nice time away, just now and then feeling overwhelmed with sadness and anger . Today being one of those days, thinking a lot about my poor Neo  today, missing him, and also feeling a bit like "the leper with no children". Usually I'd be ueber-excited about Christmas already, planning to put up the tree and decorations in a few days time and kick off with the Christmas carols and songs CDs, but this year feel there's nothing to celebrate or be excited about, just flat and almost angry with everyone else for looking forward to it. Am turning into Scrooge !

Anyhooooowww... I know things could be worse and hope to feel more in the Christmas spirit soon.

Love to all, and special   to those in need; thinking of you all,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

It is quiet honor isn't it. I hope you are having a nice time away. Has there been any sort of closure re neo? Did the council ever call you back? I know what you mean re Xmas.... I'm do hoping it's a good one for me but so scared it won't be.. I'm laying on sofa again this afternoon watching films . Spent alot of time on own this week as DH has to work - never good, gives me time to think .....

Bloating going down, still strange pains but I give up on them. 

I hope everyone's ok? Hi and hugs to everyone


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there,
*Honor-* I feel you with the christmas spirit not quite sank in... I found a christmas album though, which is a bit different to all the traditional xmas carols. It's by TOBYMAC and is called christmas in the diverse city. I downloaded it, it has few of the songs everyone knows but have been remastered to lots of different genre's of music, from rap to indie as well as couple I haven't heard before. I really like it. Then if you need a bit of cheering up, I found this one by the Australian comedian Tim Minchin 



 which is quite funny but yet sentimental  If you are looking for a rude funny song, there is one for that mood too, and ironically, it also is Australian, by Kevin Wilson. it had me in stitches just thinking of a scenario where I'd put this on from the menswear loudspeakers and wait for the reactions   (warning, a lot of swear words included, not to be played in office lol) : 



*Maisie* Hope you are feeling better. Wish I could've had a sofa day myself x
*Pooky*    loaaads! Hope bloating eases up soon x. 
I have got a week off from monday which I'm really looking forward to, will be buying all the remaining xmas prezzies and just chilling x
Lots of   to everyone
afm- Feeling rather tired today, had our departments xmas dinner last night and had few wines. Felt pretty ok this morning but managed to strike a deal with my manager and he let me go home lunch time, so been just chilling and eating. Had a nice suprise today, my bosses gave me a £100 gift voucher to Bentalls as they said I had worked so hard on the shopping evening and it was apparently due to my effort that we beat last year by several thousand pounds. Was rather chuffed!  So I went and spent the voucher buying loads of xmas prezzies to all my godchildren  
Right, is it x factor time... sure iiis soon 
Take care all
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna
/links


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

Hanna thats nice they recognized all your effort- lucky godchildren to have you as their godmother.

Pooky hope your swelling goes down soon .

Maise are you backk to work monday?  ARe you physically ok now ?  Just remember the progesterone makes you feel like crap!

Honor sorry to hear you are still sad   understanderable with the horrible year  you have had , hope 2012 is great !
Big hugs to anyone else who need one today xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*maisie*: Hope DH doesn't have to work today so that you can have some company and less time to think - always dangerous !
No, no closure on Neo. Proven impossible to chase up, so we've just had to accept it was him and let ourselves grieve for him .
Am _dreading_ Christmas... Mum and dad have been throwing constant hints about us coming here when really I just want to disappear off somewhere and not necessarily have to think about it. They must surely have noticed my very usual total lack of enthusiasm for anything Christmas related, but kind of annoyed that it's just "expected" of us to come here when even if we don't have children, we ARE adults and should have a say as to what we want to do!

*Hanna*: Thanks for the links . I'll try and have a listen. 
That's great you got a voucher - well deserved! Hope you enjoyed spending it!
Is DH back yet ?

Hope you and your mini-mes are doing well, *Pooky*, *Eva*, *Dee*, *Carey* and *Zedster* - and any *pregnant Buds* I've missed !

*Squirrel*: You ok? Fancy a catch-up on Skype soon ?

*Karen*: Hope you're feeling a bit better and your head a bit clearer . Take care...

*Kat*: How are you ?

*rachel*: Thanks for the  - much appreciated!
How are you? Any news?

  to everyone else.

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor im dealing with a very sick dog today hes been up in the night he has done something to his leg just called vets they want £130 to see him she was so unhelpfull grrrrrrrrr


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

I'm still not 100% but thinking I have to just get on with it... Am getting all the twinges etc now so the 2ww panic sets in :-( 

Just to have a moan about friends again- remember the night out 10 days ago where I got upset, not one of them has been in touch since!! They all know I was having EC Monday, not one has asked how I am, called or text... I think I just have a bunch of really **** friends and it makes me sad   I don't know what to actually do about it as I can't cut them all off but I just down need people that blinkered that they can't even contact a freind during a tough time Any advice appreciated. 

Honor - sorry you are going to find Xmas hard. Maybe making some nice plans would be a distraction? Could you and DH go away somewhere for a few days alone?  

Rachel- hope dog is ok . Xxx

Hi to everyone else xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

*Rachel*: How's your dog this afternoon? Hope he's ok and can get seen and sorted by a vet soon. I know you must be worried . 
Get well soon, Rachel's dog !!!

*maisie*: Uh, oh... 2ww panic... Really feel for you and am  every single twinge is a tiny indicator of a positive outcome for you! AF due a visit to me soon, which isn't helping matters , and am also driving myself mad with twinges! And that's just a "natural" cycle with next to no hope of a positive outcome! Hope you can manage to keep  and sane . Let me know if you want to Skype moan anytime !
As for your "friends"... It's is a tricky one, isn't it? I'd say the ball is very firmly in their court and think it's very bad that they haven't been in touch to see how you are, ask how it went, offer a shoulder to stress out and/or cry on or their distraction services as your friends . 
I know we've had this discussion several times on the thread before with insensitive friends, old friends who surprise you by not being there for you etc. The hardest thing is being faced with it, as it does hurt and is the last thing you need. I guess you're just going to have to hope they show you some support soon, bring it up yourself (they may really not know what to say or realise just how hurtful you find them not saying anything) and/or make a big decision as to whether friends like that are really the kind of friends you need/want. Wish there was a clear-cut answer, but unfortunately what you do or don't do about it has to be down to you - only you can know how close you otherwise have been/are and whether this is something you think you can in time let pass     . 
Please don't think I'm hinting you should drop them! I just don't like to hear you upset about it and have been there myself. I am though still friends with the friend in question. I am pretty sure she has no idea whatsoever how much she upset me, but we go way back and have otherwise always been so incredibly close (which is probably why it hurt so much!) that I didn't want to risk losing her friendship in any way and instead tried to put myself in her shoes and just let it go. I still feel a bit like it's not quite the same as it was, but am confident I'll feel closer again to her in time.
I wish the Christmas "dilemma" was so easy . If we had any money, I think I'd simply say "sorry, but we've had a totally crap year and DESPERATELY need a break, so we're going away for a few days over Christmas". But we don't have any money to go away. My parents keep telling people before I have a chance to say anything that I'll "next be up at Christmas" and saying things like "we can do X at Christmas". When I did "brave" it out the other day and said to my uncle that I didn't know what we were doing for Christmas because I just didn't want to think about it, my mum said "oh, we can't not have you for Christmas". I feel I'm being guilt-tripped into it .

Think today is generally not a good day, and hoping it's mostly down to the impending visit from the , as I burst into tears when we were having coffee out and am just all fed up, irritated and frustrated. Need a  from my boy!

Hope everyone else is having a happier weekend!

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello girlies!
Honor - so sorry to hear youre hacing a witch of a time. Also so sorry to hear you cant chase anything up about poor Neo. You are quite right, you need closure and we think it must have very sadly been him. The grief wont go away quickly - just cry if you need to, and rant to us  . Skype soon! Mad busy week coming up, so will be in touch soon   xx

Maisiemoo - hope you are ok. Tww madness always sucks, without prat friends causing issues. My thoughts would be, keep them at a distance for now. Focus on you. It isnt because they dont care - it is because they just dont understand, and dont know what to say. I have needed to lower my expectations of some friends too, and it hurts a lot. But it is self preservation at its best! You are a wonderful friend, and it is not you - it is them   xx

Hanna - glad you got a bonus present from your work! You deserved it! Xx

Lynn - hello sweetie! Glad you had fun meet up! Xx

Everyone pg - sending happy vibes xx

Everyone pupo - sending sticky and happy vibes xx

Everyone in limbo - focus on you and finding some normality pre christmas, you deserve to. 2012 ladies xx

Everyone sad - thinking of you and wish I could make it better xx

AFM - limbo land. Hungover and tired from charity ball last night, was throwing some shapes on the dance floor til two am! X factor and sofa tonight. Mmm take away. My body is a temple. Not. 
Love to all. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds. 

Ive been awake since before 5am today, can't sleep so thought I may as well give up. 

I'm dreading going back in today, wish I could stay off for one more week.... I'm not looking forward to catching up on week and half of workload and emails! Am feeling very down, friends thing is bugging me. I need to try and ignore if for next week but finding it so hard and tough that they don't want to talk to me. 

2ww sucks. 

Hope the rest of you are ok? It's getting very quiet now.


----------



## Gladys07

Maisiemoo - keep hanging in there, don't forget have a distraction song.. " I believe!........

Hello everyone xx


----------



## Twinklie

Maisie - I don't envy you right now, the 2ww is awful, especially the second part.   On the other hand this is the time where you are closer to being pregnant than ever, so that can't be a bad thing! Hang in there, not long to go now...


----------



## rachel1972

maise , hope today goes quickly and your boss is not too harsh on you , do what you can and dont get stressed its never worth it when it comes to work.

I ve had experience with friends letting me down and i just had to stop excepting anything from them , i have been in touch again this last week in fact and i dont want to not see them but i just have to except the way it is , thats what works for me but it was over a year til i got to this point.

Hi Suzy hope you are hangover free now.

Honor hope you are ok today with regard to pressure around xmas my mum does not even care if she sees me , i know what i would prefer.

Hello to everyone else hope you all have a good day !  

afm dog is still not right but alot better.


----------



## Big hat

Morning ladies,

Squirrel - good on you for putting 'Strictly' to shame on Saturday night    Hope the hangover's gone, and the takeaway was divine!

Maisie - well now, my thoughts are, that if your friends are used to you being the bubbly one, always putting a bit of sparkle into the party, it is usually them who offloads their problems on to you and you support them and find a positive for them to grasp onto.  It could just be that you've given them a dose of truth, the effects of which are still sinking in, and they are only now starting to fully realise that they've not been the best of friends to you during these times you needed them to be.  Give them another chance, when you get your bfp, and see if they come good.  If they don't, you can still see them sometimes but are no longer burdened with their problems.  xx

Hanna - good on you!!  Go girl (done with a click of the fingers and wave of the arm)  .  I reckon it's the boost you needed, and has taken some of the stress out of crimbo shopping. Hope all else is getting on track  . x

Honor - Kind of veering towards Rachel on this one, and a friend's mum died really suddenly this year which, although she used to moan about her, has left her absolutely devastated - she's a bit like a ship without an anchor.  It may be that your mum just loves you so much, and is wanting to make up to you for the loss of babies, your cat, and your trust of her for having talked about you.  Maybe the compromise is, spend christmas day with them but, have plans for boxing day/27th etc, that means you need to leave.  That way, your conscience is clear, your mum's happy, and you can plan something special for you and DH.   x

Rachel - oo, your dog not being well is giving me the heebies.  Mine's curled up and dreaming of catching magpies (his latest fad/preferred prey), and I'll be devastated if anything happens to him.  Sitting with fingers-crossed that all goes well and your dog gets better.  xx

Gladys - I now have images of you belting out 'I Believe....' in your kitchen and your car (don't ask me why those two)..... I never had you down as a Westlife girlie  , but good choice of anthemic song  . x

Lynn - your hair looked nice in Honor's photies - a change of colour?  Aren't you lucky to be able to do both ends of the spectrum...x Mine kind of sits in the covering grey zone (maybe one day I will be able to go blonde)!

Pooky - hope your thyroid roller-coaster isn't troubling you too much.  Have you got your first scan booked yet? xx

Eva - how are you?

CArey, Zedster, Twinklie - how goes it with all of you ladies, forging the pregnancy path for us all?

Ma-me - hope you ok. x

Kat and Karen - seems odd to have both of you not on here.  Sending you big  s. xx

Afm.  It would seem the effects of my comfort eating has finally landed, resulting in me leaping off the scale when I saw the numbers!  Luckily for me my sister has reminded me that we are meeting with our cousin at the weekend.  Fab.  They are older than me and a right pair of trendy skinny minnies, and have both had children. I am so going to be the out-of-work  barren bloater with a 'moon' face on the photos   .  Looks like it's a week of detox and exercise for me! Happy bloomin christmas! 

hugs all

Chubster Curlytwo
xx


----------



## rachel1972

hey curly , you are lovely and slim and a great person not that there is anything wrong with chubby , love yourself x


----------



## Nordickat

You've all been awfully quite. I was expecting pages and pages to catch up on. Now its make me wonder if its Karen and I twittering on that fills the pages   

Maisie - maybe your friends are feeling a bit guilty for not being there when you clearly needed them. Remember you are feeling extra hormonal and sensitive for the 2ww   and it is possible that they have no idea what happend next and how the process works and there are some really good emails you can send to them about what you need from them. There is a lovely one with music that might help. If you feel you want them to understand then I can dig out the link to it on here. I think there is one on the negative cycle board at the moment. I hope work was a good distraction today and not too demanding.

Curly - well you weren't chubby a week ago so you must have gorged non stop on cakes this week! And as for trendy skinny minis, well since they are mums now they are probably trendy and skinny, but pastey, exhausted and hagged looking too.

Honor - if you want christmas alone then do it. Your mum will be disapppointed but she'll get over it. Sometimes we have to do whats best for us and not for others. Tell her you need a break and will go up for christmas lunch in January whe you are feeling more like you. I bet you a mince pie she'll understand. She is probably trying her hardest to do what she thinks is the right thing to cheer you up. I dread christmas every year by the way. Its probably 5 years since we 'celebrated' it. We flee to the mountains with lots of wine, great food and just us and the pooch. We even pretend there is no phone reception sometimes   

Hanna - get you, the work swot   . Well done! Any news on that pesky DH of yours?

Squirrel and Karen   thanks for being such rocks  

 to the mummies-to-be.

 to those still waiting.

Love to you all, 
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Evening ladies

Thanks for all your sweet words. My friends now exactly what was going on they are just crap! However, [email protected]@k them, I'm not worrying about that anymore. I have my buds, I have other friends   work wasn't too bad, I'm tired and caught myself in mirror at work and look like a ghost! I was sick this morning and has terrible upset tum. Bloody antibiotics and cyclogest I think. Have booked hypno women tomorrow and reiki Thursday. Acu Friday. Will pass the time and keep me focussed . 

Kat- I have that tears of hope I think it's called, incredibly moving , makes me cry all the time. I sent them all that back in summer- not a comment from one of them! Hope you are ok xxxxxx  

Curly ONE- there's nothing of you women, you are lovely and slim so none of that talk!!!!

D- I'm singing the song xxxx

Hi to twinklie, rach , squirrel and honor. Xxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Evening ladies,

Maisie - I hope your first day back at work wasn't too bad. I'm sorry that your friends are still being rubbish. It's so hard, especially when you need them. I suspect they don't know how to cope with your situation. some people just don't understand what you're going through and it is such a shame as they sound like they are good friends and that they should be there to support you. You may just have to accept that they won't be there for you with this processs and work around it. Not a great answer I know but it may be a way to help deal with it. Big hugs to you    and I'm not too far away if you want to meet up and chat about it all. Are you coping with the 2ww ok? Or are you a complete yo yo of emotions?

Kat - nice to see you. Have you started treatment again now? Hope all is ok with you.

Honor - are you back home yet? Any news on dh's job interview? Did your mum do the puppy dog eyes too? Is a mothers job to do guilt trips. I always advise that these decisions are down to you and managing your own guilt. If you can cope with the guilt that your mum will place on you and you are certain that you want this time alone with dh go for it. I wished that dh and I had spent Xmas alone last year as we had five days of non stop family while I was trying to get over my chemical pregnancy and I was on the verge of losing the plot. In the end I just drank a lot....

Curly one - no way are you fat! You are a lovely tall elegant lady and have no need to worry. I hope you have a good meet up with them. Any sign of a new work contract yet?

Hanna - I guess you are too busy with dh tonight to pop in on here. I hope he is being very nice to you and has brought you some nice presents. Tell him if he disappears again that you'll send the girls over to sort him out!
Rachel - I hope your dog is getting a bit better.

Evening to everyone else, I hope you are all good  

AFM - been freezing all day as the heating broke down at work. I've been sat there like a granny with a shawl and scarf on. Now sat at home under my slanket trying to warm up. I may have to put my feet on a hot water bottle soon! I've got the day off on thursday to go shopping with mum in Cambridge. I may have to buy some baggy tops and looser trousers as I struggled to do them up this morning!


----------



## 1972

Pooky, you are right. They are my closest friends which is what hurts, the ones who I've known shorter or see less have been more understanding and sweet. Still, I can't waste energy on them. I have to get over it. 

Catch up would be nice some time. Xx

Slanket      mind you that feeling us awful once you can't get warm! Look after yourself xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

It's a brown slanket   I look like obe wan konebi. No idea how to spell that... Jedi warrior!


----------



## Hannushka

Hi ladies,
Oh I have time to pop here, dh is busy with the playstation already  Oh well... I tried to be soooo angry when he came home but it didn't quite go into plan and I burst out laughing... Strange! 
Presents? I got a pair of gorgeous shoes...that were 2 sizes too small and had at least 6 inch heels so had they been the right size, I could've worn them only while sitting down anyway  Oh, and his mother bought me a perfume... a MENS perfume!!!  His brother asked me few weeks back if I wanted this gorgeous military style jacket and even asked what colour I'd like, there is no sign of this jacket 
But it's ok I suppose, I can sell the shoes on ebay and get few good pounds 
*Maisie*- Try not to get disheartened by your silly friends, I went through that last year, and decided to give up on them. It just isn't worth it. I have good real friends back home, and I have you ladies, I don't need these ignorant miserable so-called-friends xxx Hope you aren't getting too crazy on ur 2ww xxxxx  
*Pooky* I already pre warned him about my next holiday, in which he replied, there wont be one similar for me cause we'll be moving to Finland anyway lol. Keep yourself warm there, ickle one doesn't like cold xx
*Kat* So yeah, dh finally decided to touch the land of U.K. I try so hard to be angry but I was so stressed out during this time, I just feel relieved that he is home. I noticed the quietness here too, so it is official, you and Karen just cannot leave these pages, simples xx
*Curly* you chubby?    Glad you are keeping us amused  You need all the extra food to keep you warm through the winter months, it is official study by a great Finnish scientist Hanna. You will use the extra calories while your body's thermostat switches on to keep you warm. fact xxx (I think)
Everyone, hope you are all well xxx
Karen-     Hope you are ok xxxx
Take care all
xxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## 1972

So glad DH is home hanna. Even if you were cross at him we all know you missed him and so its good to have him back xx

I can't get up . Got to leave house at 7.15 for a meeting in Abingdon. Can't be bothered, I'm all cosy here!

And for second day I feel sick. Was actually sick yesterday morning  it it's way to early for morning sickness isn't it?? 

Have a good day buds xx


----------



## Big hat

Morning,

Kat - Hurrah!  You're back.  I thought you'd taken one look at us and thought 'nah' and left the thread!  

Pooky - oo, baggy tops and trews!  How fabulous is that - that you get to indulge in all the 'pregnancy wear' and planning stage, finally!

Maisie - I'm sitting here wiggling my toes and doing a little shake with excitement for you - I meant to post yesterday about your 'morning sickness' - could it be? I'm thinking yes 

Hanna - Hurrah on wayward husband returning home!  I think you should give him your christmas list (with your exact measurements) and tell him to get buying  .  Really pleased all is now well in your world. x

Rachel - hiya lady  , and hello to all of you other lovelies.

Ladies, thank you for all your kind words  .  My sister and cousin are yummy mummies in the Elle McPherson kind of mould (not the hair but, looking good for their age, and don't have to work but do because they like it...).  We are going ice-skating at Somerset House - I can just see it - they'll be cutting a dash, a la Pippa Middleton, and I'll be hanging onto the rail, wobbling  .  Oh well, at least the skin on my stomach has to be tighter than theirs  .


hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Gladys07

Curlyone - As Kat said, you can't have ballooned in 2 weeks, when we met you were very svelte!

Hanna - Happy hubby is home  

Maisie - fingers crossed it is     

Morning everyone xx


----------



## Carey

Hi Buds,

Its been very chatty on here  

I hope you are all OK. From reading some of your posts looks like a few   are needed.

As always i do read & think of you all but don't always have time to post.

I'm away with work for 3 days from tomorrow, I'm abit nervous about it as first time i have stayed away from home with work.... DH works away all the time & although I'm alone I'm in my home.
Got to remember to take my bounty pack with me with all my notes in ..... just incase i need them at any point but   i wont.

I will try & catch up again over the weekend at some point.

Lots of love to you all xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi curly 

D and curly- it can't possibly be can it?!?!!? I bloody hope it is but surely it's too early ?? I do look very pale . I so know when I get preg I'm not going to be a bloomer.... Il be an ill, pasty, spotty one!!!! Xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Maise its never too early , i had cravings from day 1 for roll mops (pickled herring and onions) i could eat pots of it , i now find it horrible.  so who knows


----------



## Twinklie

Definitely possible Maisie, fingers crossed!


----------



## ma-me28

evening all
hanna glad dh has finally arrived home
maisie its never too early hun. x 
carey hope working away goes ok hun. x
big   to everyone i missed. x x x


----------



## 1972

Let's hope so  

Been for 2 hour session with hypno women. Talked about friends, power of negative thinking, stress etc. I do feel more positive after meeting with her 

Had to pop to tesco after to get tea and toothpaste! I thought id get a junky ready meal stodge comfort food but was drawn to the vegetables and got healthy stuff. Maybe my body is telling me something!!!!


----------



## Nordickat

maisie - anything is possible. I felt terrible way before OTD when I was pg.

Curly - your sister and cousin probably work to pay for the expensive bra and pants they need to hide the post baby sag   

 to everyone. I´m not feeling great at the moment (physically not mentally) so short and sweet from me again. Only 2 days (OMG is that all   ) til my project is delivered then I´ll be back with more time and energy.
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Lol Kat !!!!!!

Sending you massive hugs. Hope the next few days go quickly and you can chill for a bit .


----------



## Nordickat

chill for a bit?!?! they owe me more than ´a bit´. If I pull this off I´m expecting to be slack for the rest of the year to make up for how flippin brilliant I´ve been for the last 2 months  .


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi lovelies, quick one from me...kat - good luck for presentation, so hope it goes well xx pooky - keep warm! Love sound of slanket! Xx curly - loving your posts at the moment xx maisiemoo - fingers, toes and legs well and truly crossed for you xx everyone - huge hugs and miss you all! Will write more in next few days, and sorry for being slack xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds

I'm starting to not cope too well ...., nausea on and off and last night banging migraine so went to bed early and it's still there now. I'm scared it's AF. I'm trying to stay calm but flagging. Got 3 1/2 hour drive to meeting now so trying to read through hypno women's notes to keep me going. Got reiki tonight, hopefully that will help. 

Hope everyone is ok.   to you all xxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie. Stay strong and keep up with the positive thinking. I've got everything crossed for you.


----------



## Twinklie

Maisie - Of course you're scared it's AF! But at this point your symptoms could mean anything. There is no way of knowing until you test on otd, so you are still very much PUPO - there is no reason why this wouldn't have worked! Hope you get through the day OK and feel better after reiki.


----------



## Big hat

Now Maisie, I don't want to raise your hopes but your symptoms sound exactly like my old clinic buddy's, and she has just had her 12 week scan   .  oo, could it be....

Kat - hope your project delivery went well, and you are now supping a well deserved glass of wine!  Your message did make me chortle (maybe I'll pull out a 'back of the drawer' set of undies, to wear as a nod to my rebellious youth.....)

Squirrel - I'm glad my pain is your pleasure   - I shall be wearing a long coat so that they can't fix their gaze on my saddlebags.... 

Pooky - how are you feeling? Has it sunk in yet?

Carey - how goes your trip alone?  Are you enjoying reading while trying to eat, and giving the look to passers-by 'Stood up, me? No, I am on very important business and choosing to dine alone.'

Twinklie, Ma-Me, Rachel, Gladys, Honor, Hanna, Karen(if you've thought to have a little peek), and all other buds 'HI!'  

Afm - well, after drinking nothing but peppermint tea (sometimes swapped for lemon and ginger) and going on the scales every morning to see if it's making any difference, I've come to accept I am not going to drop 6kg by the weekend. We're going out for dinner for a friends birthday tonight so my instructions are going to be 'pile the plate high, and bring me that there dessert trolley!'  Ladies, I think I need to start planning my next treatment before I completely lose the plot   .

hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

hi all 

Maise   stay as calm as you can hope the reki is good x

Curlyone -   have a great meal out tonight , hope you not going to crazy x

afm not much to tell really , my son has been off preschool all week he hates it im taking him to another nursery tomorrow for a trial so fx for me.  Its my dh birthday today he is a complete nightmare around birthdays (and most things) so I just hope he pretends to be happy for ds sake, hes been decorating cakes.  Dog seems to over got over his lame leg.


----------



## Nordickat

I officially have my life back    Project delivered, pats on back received and 3 days of chilling ahead of me   


Curly - I have some of those back of the drawer undies too    I suspect you are better off eating as much as possible tonight to give you some last minute extra padding for any ice skating incidents. Enjoy the puds tonight.


Maisie     Hang in there. The is absolutely no reason for this not to work, for it nit to be your turn. Symptoms and signs mean nothing so just concentrate on your reiki relaxing ....... although I´m a tad concerned that you were going to be doing your hypno womans stuff whilst driving   


Right, my Kindle is fixed and the sofa is calling me. Catch up next week. Have lovely weekends one and all.
Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Well done Kat! Enjoy the sofa!

Curly one - shaper pants are the way forward if your feeling tubby. You aren't tubby tho so no need! 

Maisie - how was your trip today? How are you feeling? I've been having pmt like symptoms non stop and it scares me to death most days that it's all going to go wrong. So just because it looks like af is on her way she may not be.

Honor - you're very quiet - everything ok?

I've been shopping in Cambridge today with mum. Last time I did that I started bleeding the next day and so was a bit apprehensive about going. I went tho and had a few twinges on the way up and was worried that I had colored discharge when I got there and so spent half the morning stresing until I went to the loo again and all was clear. I blame the lighting in the loos! Mum said that twinges are normal and to expect them over the next few months as my body expands. She also said my bum had got bigger   she also told me about the time she made my dad take her to hospital while she was pregnant with me as she'd seen a lot of blood in her pants when she went to the loo. It turned out that she had sat on a bar of chocolate and it had stained her pants   she felt a bit silly after that!


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Back home after 7 hours in car for a 2 hour meeting   had reiki on way home and it was wonderful ! I feel asleep and feel quite chilled now but shattered. Few twinges today, I'm cross examining the loo roll like pooky and sure I can see a hint of colour. Arrrgfgggggggggghhhhhh!

Kat- yay!!!!!!!!!!! Now you kick back and do nothing! I was doing my hypno whilst driving   just read my notes before I left!! 

Pooky- we are nuts aren't we! Bit it's been a week now and don't you worry   lol alot re the bar of chocolate!! Haha!

Curly- I'm hoping and praying  your messages make me laugh!! Enjoy the meal x

Rachel-  Glad dogs seeming better. Hope DH cheers up for his bday!

Twinklie- how are you getting on?

Karen-    if you are watching. We miss you xx

Evap- hope you are ok hon if you're reading xx

D- how's the little man? Xx

Honor- where are you?? Xxxx

Squirrel- the sheep of destiny is on my keys and makes me chortle every time I get keys out! Xx

Lynn, carey, mame and anyone else I've missed- hello xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky and Maisie - can´t you buy different coloured loo roll in the UK? Get yourselves out tomorrow and pick up some dark coloured stuff so over analysis is impossible. Pooky, your baby is here to stay, and maisie, your embies are too   


I´ve missed my pup terribly over the last month of overwork so we are making up for it with extra cuddles now and he´ll be sick of me bugging him by monday   . TMI, but he has a giant green hippo that he humps when he feels the need (saves him mounting legs). The hippo is apparently the exact same size as the male Bassett Hound down the road ....... oops   The fact the Bassett isn´t bright green didn´t seem to put him off earlier apparently and resulted in a very embarrassing moment for DH   .


----------



## 1972

Lol Kat ! Randy dog


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - when are you down to test?


----------



## 1972

Monday.


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh exciting and scary! Will you do a cheeky test on Sunday when you're at home? Or have you got Monday off?


----------



## 1972

No, I'm too scared to test early. Will do it Monday. Have to go to work too hopefully with big smile on my face


----------



## Gladys07

Maisie moo don't test early xx and please keep positive and remember " I believe"  by the happy clappers not Westlife 

Pooky -     for your baby xx

Kat -     at pup.

Hello everyone off to feel sorry for myself as have been coughing non stop for last two daysxx


----------



## Twinklie

Maisie - I admire you for not testing early! I would have tested on Sunday for sure! Everything crossed you will have a very happy day at work on Monday.     

Pooky - I had lots of cramping and weird sensations on and off in the beginning, it's completely normal. Try not to worry too much about spotting - it usually doesn't mean anything anyway. It's only natural that you're worried after what happened last time but every day you will start to relax a bit more.   

Dee - hope you feel better soon!

All is well here, although I have a bit of a cold too... Had my nuchal scan this week and everything looked great. So relieved! Have started telling people now, but still feels surreal...

Hi everyone   Hope you all have a nice day!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

Sorry been a bit quiet this week - mixture of working, travelling back home and feeling very down .

*Pooky*: I can well understand you must be worried . Hope your scan comes around quickly (did you say it's on 15 December?) to help put your mind at ease so you can relax a bit more and fully enjoy your fantastic birthday present/early Christmas present!

*maisie*: Good on you holding out to OTD! Such great willpower surely deserves to be rewarded! Are you still feeling sickly?  it's a good sign!!

*Twinklie* and *Dee*: Hope you feel better soon . 
Great news on your scan, *Twinklie* 

*Kat*: Congrats on getting your project all done and dusted ! Hope you enjoy your well-deserved long weekend.

*Curly*: How was your dinner out last night? Hope you enjoyed a BIG dessert ! You SERIOUSLY have nothing to worry about on the figure front, btw!!

*Hanna*: So, it's good to have DH back? His present-buying skills sound similiar to my DH's ! Hope he continues to make it up to you.

*Rachel*: Did DH enjoy his cake? Hope he had a good birthday, and showed it! 
How did your son's trial go today at the new nursery?

*Squirrel*: Hope you're not working too hard! Any news otherwise from Jersey?

*Karen*: How are you doing ?

 for anyone I've missed out.

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi honor, what's up ? Sending you big   we are missing your, kats and Karen's messages   I'm too scared to test early rather than being good. .....

I feel sicky on and off, still got headache and today stabbing pains low down. I'm going out of my mind today so came home from work early. Cancelled acupuncture as just need an evening with DH the cat and the sofa. 

Hope you feel better soon Dee and twinklie xxxxx

Ps glad all good with scan twinklie x


----------



## Hannushka

Hi ladies,
Honor- Oh, I thought my dh beats everyone with his awful gift buying skills. Hope you are feeling better. How about taking a trip to the shops to buy yourself something nice? I did that today, and made a right fool of myself when I saw these, I was laughing in the shop on my own  I had to buy them for myself (and for my sister), and have just tested them when hubby asked for a cup of coffee lol http://www.funpicked.com/la-la-i-m-not-listening-head-band.html . He claimed to be angry that I spent money on silly stuff but he did laugh in the end and went and made his coffee himself  Maybe only momental chuckle, but it is a start. You could buy them and wear them on christmas if the family turns up  
Maisie- I have my fingers and toes crossed for you. The symptoms sound rather positive sign from where I'm standing   
Twinklie- Great scan went well and all is good xx
Dee- Have you tried garlic cloves? Peel a small garlic clove and swallow it with water like you would any capsule, apparently it works as a natural antibiotic, and it won't smell 'cause you are not chewing it. Hope you feel better soon xx
Pooky-   at the chocolate bar story. That reminds me of a story my mum told me, she ended up taking me to hospital thinking there was a whole lot of blood in my wee when I was little, only to find out it was the beetroots I'd eaten with my dinner  
Kat- Awesome idea for the looroll, but I haven't seen any dark colours, only white, yellow, baby blue and pink... But they do sell colour capsules at Wilkinson.... hmmm don't think that would work  Well done for getting your life back, I could never, ever be able to present anything at all in front of people, ever... I'm a woossy  
Rachel- I hope new nursery is better xx
Curly- 6 kg by the weekend?! Impossible, well, you could go on the scale carrying 6 bags of sugar, and casually chuck them away one by one, and see the scale drop down in a blink of an eye, kilo by kilo  Spanxy pants are good, but probably not when you are skating... I bought a cheap pair in Primark last year and they lasted about 2 months and started to come apart, hubby says it means I' ve put on weight, I say it is the bad quality of the pants. I got rid of the scale last year so there we go, can't find a winner in this argument   
afm- So, I spent today christmas shopping and found even 2 prezzies for myself, a perfume and the "earmuffs" in that link   Downside is, the shopping took so long I missed the post office and don't know when I can now send the prezzies off to Finland  
Oh well, I'm off to wrap things. Take care lovelies xxx
Hanna

/links


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor glad your back sorry you are feeling down 

Maisie hope you have a relaxing weekend and i was convinced i was going to have  af when i was pg had all the symptoms. fx 

hi to everyone, hope you all have good weekend 

afm nursery went rather well (except for throwing carrott at a teacher and throwing stuff off tables once)so going to change him in new year bit scary as he has SEN but it has got to be better than what hes been like at other place.


----------



## 1972

Better to go with where he's happy I guess? X


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - hope you are having a nice relaxing evening and lots of cuddles.

Honor -   don't be down.we're all here for you.

Twinklie - good news on scan   

Hanna - that head set is hilarious! I should get one for my dh, although he doesn't need that he just doesn't listen......

D - hope you feel better soon. The cold season Is starting and I'm trying to avoid everyone who is ill. It's hard tho.

Evening to everyone else. Hope you are all ok.

I've just left dh in the pub doing sambuca shots. God knows what state he'll be in when he gets home. I also got home to two dead worms and a stick about a foot long - god knows how the cat got it in through the cat flap! I have now started feeling nauseous in the morning and evening and need to nibble constantly throughout the day to feel ok. I told my boss today as they are announcing on monday the results of the outsourcing. I'm guessing they will give an indication of Numbers going and then we'll have a better idea over the next week or so who will be going. Not ideal timing for me but I've known that it wAs going to happen at some point this year and starting a family has been my main priority for the last year. I just hope that if I do go I will be able to negotiate my maternity pay as part of the deal. I know it's worked like that in the past. However, if I do stay I will probably have to apply for a new job due to the reorg and I won't really want the recruiters knowing I'm pregnant. I know that they cannot use that as a reason not to recruit me but I'm sure they would get around it if they did know. Ho hum. We'll see. I'm trying not to worry about it but I'll probably be one stressed bunny on Monday. If I ruled the world life would be a lot simpler and we'd all have beautiful bouncing babies on our knees!


----------



## Big hat

Pooky, can you run for world ruler please?  Your idea sounds so lovely, and is so thoughtful.  Sorry the dreaded ms   has found you. FX for you for Monday's announcement.  

Hanna - am liking your idea of taking bags of sugar on the scale with me (although, it would be a real visual indicator of what I've been eating to put the weight on  ), and get you being all organised with your crimbo shopping!!!! I've only bought 3 pressies.  So glad you and DH are getting along, although you do need to print out a picture of what you want for christmas and tell him what size to get! 

Rachel - get your little man throwing healthy stuff around  .  Maybe he has a future as a cricketer  . I'm sure that even if it is a bit scary now all will be ok.  Remember, it will take him a while to settle, as he is only little he won't know at first if it is going to be better than his current nursery. Bless him  .

Maisie - how are you feeling after your night on the sofa?  Can't wait for Monday's news  . x

Honor - I'm sorry your sad.  As Squirrel said, scratch 2011.  For some, it's not been the best year so, lets look to the future - after all the sheep of happiness can see some good things for us there.  

Hey Twinklie and Gladys - sorry you are both suffering, and I suppose there is not really anything you can take. Wrap yourselves up in a big blankey, put the fire on and watch some good old mushy movies.  xx

Kat - get your dog, being a randy old so-and-so   !! Hope you're having a lovely weekend.  

Afm - meal out the other night turned out to be a CURRY! No dessert but, monster starters and a scoop of every dish on the table!  We have another birthday-do tonight so, roll on tomorrow's skating.  I will be wearing a big, bum covering coat!    

Hi and hugs to those that need them. xx

Hope you all have a lovely weekend 

Curlyone
xxx


----------



## Nordickat

pooky. hooray for the reassurance of ms 
maisie. hoping and praying and looking for shooting stars and any other thing i can think of, that monday is the best day of your life.
honor. sorry you are having a hard time. you know where we are when ou need a cyber tissue and sme cheesecake xxx. is dh back home too? i hope that whatever the outcome from his trip, that it is a turning point for you both xxx
hannh - no presentaton this time thanfully. but actually talking about work is easier than you think. its easy to hide behind. dh is more cocky and self assured than any man should be and becuaseif that is a great presenter because we all believe anything said with such confidence. even he puts his specs on though as a barrier from the public. good work on your shopping , i am hoping the internet will do mine.
squirrel. xxx have a fab night xxx
karen. xxx i hope you can both feel my healing vibes. thinking of you xxx
twinklie and d. i hope a relaxing weekend halps you feel better xxx
curly. i really think you are bonkers for going skating. stay safe and bruise free xxx
xxx to everyone else. i turned out to be pretty sick and it was just adrenalin keeping me going last week. i have now crashed and burned but hoping to get a part time sick note for the next week to make sure i can catch up with you all properly 
love to all the buds, large and small and growing fast xxx


----------



## 1972

Just a quickie. Pink spotting when going to loo tonight, I'm not holding out much hope buds


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie. I'm   it's not so. How are you this morning?


----------



## Big hat

Hey Maisie, how are you feeling today?    that it's all ok.  

love 

Curlyone
x


----------



## Hannushka

Maisie-            Hope it was just implantation bleed or your eyes deceiving you. I shall remind you, my little sister had period like bleeding for 2 months after getting pregnant, which is why she didn't know until she was 12 weeks gone...     Hope xmas tree is looking sparkly and beautiful x
afm-Another xmas party tonight to go to, I'll be going for a quick coffee, wait till they do the raffle and go. The raffle prizes are just awesome and if I do win, I can refund everything I've bought and give those as prezzies    Last year I won a massive hamper of mens and ladies perfumes, was sorted for prezzies and smelled nice for a good while lol
Hope everyone is ok...
xxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi girls,
Maisiemoo - same thing happened to a friend of mine last week, who is pg and gobsmacked. Just so want it to be you my friend. Still hope right? One day at a time, see what tomorrow brings. Please rest, keep breathing, be calm as you can and know that we are all praying for you.    xx

Curly - enjoy ice skating, forget about the other people as they cant be a lovely as you. Hope you are ok and have you made any plans for the new year with regards cycling again? Xx

Kat - thank you   xx

Karen -   xx

Pooky - believe your good news! I know the twinges will be there, but why cant this be your time to have the glory! I hope your scan gets here soon and you can believe things with your very own eyes. Keep going hon, so happy for you still xx

Hanna - how are you doing now dh is back? Any news on the house move etc? Hope you are ok, you sound chirpy! Xx

Honor - think I am in the same place as you my love. One day at a time to get out of the quicksand of limbo land. Hugs xx

Lynn - where are you girl?! How are things? Full steam ahead for new try? Really hope you are ok? Xx

Rachel - really hope your son settles into new nursery soon. Xx

Twinklie, carey, d - hi all and glad all going well for you guys xx

AFM havent wanted to bother anyone as in a bit of a stressy mood. Seems like our cheesecake weekend was the highlight and now am having a wobble. Sigh. Hope everyone is having a nice weekend - maisiemoo - you are at the top of my thoughts and sending you positive vibes xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Squirrel- YES;YES;YES, lots of news on the house move     Which makes me soooo chirpy! We are moving to Finland round March. I've already put thousand applications for work there and started to look for flats. I could not be happier, as I know this christmas is the last christmas I have to spend around these horrible people, and these are the last 3 months I have to share my home with anyone. It does give this strange grin on my face lol. Hope stress eases up for you, have a cheese cake and a glass of wine maybe 
xxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

No more spotting this morning but cramps and twinges like AF. I've kind of given up, was exactly same both other times . Sore boobs gone, sicky feeling gone. 

We've put Xmas tree up and decorated it this morning. Trying to keep mind focused. Will catch up more another time buds xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Maisiemoo - try to enjoy then christmas tree my lovely. Will be thinking of you so much tomorrow. Always hoping for you xx
Hanna - amazing news! I am so pleased for you, that move sounds absolutely perfect! You go girl xx
Another shout out for maisiemoo - keep strong. Please keep string and remember that counsellor pushing your arm down to shownyou how important positivity is. You can get through the next 24hours and whatever happens, we will be here for you. Lots of love xx


----------



## Twinklie

Maisie - don't lose hope, there is still no way of knowing. No reason why you won't see two lines on that test tomorrow. Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning!     

Hanna - wow, fab news!   

Hi everyone else, hope you've had a nice weekend. I feel much better, was a very quick cold in the end, and now just about to do some baking (traditional Christmas stuff... normally you wouldn't find me doing this kind of stuff but trying to make an effort!)


----------



## Honor77

Another quick one from me today:

*Maisie*: Apparently it's very common for symptoms to come and go -  your dream comes true tomorrow...

Sorry just a group  for everyone else. Hope you're all ok and having a good weekend. I'll try and be in touch properly soon.

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie   - I´ve not given up hoping for you


----------



## 1972

Thanks lovely buds for your support. No more spotting just twinges. Sorry no personals, can't focus. Have the doom of potential last attempt... 

Will let you all know in the morning. 

 to you all xxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Good luck for the morning Maisie! I'm thinking of you and sending you lots of positive result vibes.


Hanna - fab news re the house move. You must be so pleased to be heading home. Will you try to use your frosties before you go?

The lovely squirrel - you've had a tough few years with findings out about your pof and coming to terms with that and going through ivf, of course you're going to have some wobbly moments. It's a lot to deal with and you are only human. You should focus on relaxing and enjoying yourself and getting ready for your next set of treatment next year. 

Curlyone - how was the ice skating? Did you tie a cushion to your bum to help soften the blow of any falling? 

Kat - hope you're feeling better? See you can get sick. I hope dh is looking after you and that you are having lots of pooch cuddles.

Honor -   hope you ok.

I'm not feeling that sick today which is good, or not good. Lots of twinges and growing a spot which makes me worry as I always grow spots before I get my period. I'm going to worry about any sign though. Dh keeps asking me if I feel sick and he gets all excited when I say yes and disappointed when I say no. I think I felt particularly rough yesterday from the lack of sleep thanks to him coming home at around half two sat morning and then jumping into bed a lot later announcing that he'd fallen asleep on the sofa! He has turned into a beer monster! 

Have a lovey evening everyone.

Pooky xx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

As suspected its a BFN......

I feel numb. Tested at 4am as couldn't sleep,single line couldn't have been any clearer. That's it for now.... Shows all the supplements, treatments, positive thinking, food etc etc make bugger all difference   

Time for some soul searching. That's my 3 funded goes up. I'm know I'm lucky to have got them. If we pay for another it will be that or buying a house.... Big decisions. For now I need to lose the weight I've piled on, get back to being me and live life a little. My life's stopped for last 12 months. 

Love you all buds, you've been so supportive and caring and helped me through this . Xxxxxx


----------



## ma-me28

maisie so sorry hun. x


----------



## squirrel2010

Maisiemoo my lovely friend - take some time to get through this news, let the hormones get out of your system and then think about things. Just so upset for you, and wish there was something we could do to help. Here anytime, and take good care. Do you have to have bloods to confirm things? Huge hugs. Find maisiemoo again now. Lots of love xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Oh Maisiemoo...     I really thought your symptoms sounded good and that this might have been your time.

I agree that some time out to get back to the real you and your normal life sounds like a good plan. Now's definitely not the time to make any big decisions.

Take good care of yourself and DH.


----------



## Nordickat

Oh Maisie    I'm so so sorry. I was so sure it was your time    . Maybe your hypo lady and positivity didn't help you get your BFP, but I hope it helps you heal, keep seeing her for a while so she can help you find a way forward. Now is the time to be Mr and Mrs Maisie and a time to remember who you were before all this. I'm glad the end of the year us coming up because hopefully that will help you draw a line under things and start 2012 with fresh hopes for whatever life brings you.
For now, cuddle up and cry hard. Thinking of you lots, 
 Katxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Maisie-     So sorry to hear your news  . Kat is right, use the tools you learned to heal you, take a good break from the whole ivf saga, and when you are good and ready, you can sit down and start thinking of future plans. For now, just find the good old Maisiemoo, cuddle up to Mr Moo, have alovely relaxing no-if-thinking xmas. Easier said than done, but I think I managed to do it after my tx, I now feel so much more relaxed and ready to start again...  
Pooky- Yes, plan is to use them b4 I go, money is a big issue though :/ We'll see... I've heard we are getting a xmas bonus though, so I might put that aside for tx
everyone-   
I gotta rush now, more prezzies to take to post offic, then to work 
xxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Gladys07

Maisemoo -     I really thought it was your time.  I am so sorry. Look after yourself and get back to you.  I am here for you when you are ready. Don't be hard on your self by giving everything a go as it is better to have given it your all. Sending you lots of love xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - D is right, you had to try all you could. You tried everything in your power this time to make it work and having no regrets is much better that saying 'what if'.
Be kind to yourself, 
 Katxxx


----------



## bell26

Maisie, so sorry sweetheart xx big big big cuddles xx


----------



## Evap

Maisy     really really sorry it hasn't worked this time. Please do not give up just yet, enjoy Christmas and look at everything with fresh eyes come the new year. 

Lots of love   
Eva xxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

I'm so sorry that it didn't work for you. Sending you a huge   and I'll message properly later when at home. 

Xxx


----------



## Big hat

Maisie, that is just such awful news.  You were on my mind all yesterday, and I was so hoping it would turn out wonderfully for you.  I echo the others in saying that you were right to have done everything you could to make it work, and it's not in your nature to have done otherwise.  

Stay safe lovely, and you and DH look after each other, and you know that we are all here for you no matter and whenever.

Big hugs

Curlyone
xxxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks buds xxx

I'd kind of resigned to it so I'm ok.. I'm sure it will hit me in time. I haven't gone to work today, just can't face anyone. DH has unfortunately just gone to work, I'm busying myself writing Xmas cards. You will all think I'm nuts but Im going to go back to fat club tonight... I've piled on the pounds and that's making me feel worse too. I think an hours exercise will blow away the cobwebs and I've got couple of weeks to lose some weight in time to put it all on again over Xmas  

Thanks for all your sweet words xx


----------



## Honor77

*maisie*: . Don't know what to say... it all sounded so promising. You gave it your all and so deserved it to be your time . Take care.

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Maisie - no words  just massive    thinking of you.  x


----------



## 1972

Thanks buds  

Didn't make it to fat club. Sat on sofa all day and the times flown past. Numb is a good word to describe it, not happy, not sad, not cried, not panicking - just sat there ..

I'll be ok though. Xx


----------



## Pookychops

Oh Maisie - I'm so sorry. I always felt that a bit of me died inside with each ivf failure and so I can understand how you feel. Take a bit of time out and have a good think and talk with dh about what you want to do next. You don't have to rush into anything.

Are you booking a follow up appointment with the hospital to see what they have to say? It can help to have a plan but it can also help to have a bit of time off the treatment cycle. You've had a tough year with three cycles and it does take it out of you mentally and physically. 

Sending you a big hug and thinking of you. Xxx


----------



## 1972

Follow up next week, wanted it out of way before Xmas. We're done at that clinic, if we have another go it will be elsewhere. 

Plan is to get this year over with and start afresh. Xx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie -     I sometimes think the numbness is worse than the despair. Kind of like you are sat watching life go on around you and  you just aren't part of it anymore. Fat club was a bit ambitious and you need to have some time to lick your wounds before you have the strength to lose weight and look after yourself again. Thinking of you still,   Katxxx


----------



## Carey

So sorry Masie, sending you lots of hugs       xxxxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Im so sorry Maisie. Big hugs. 

Sorry for being MIA fellow cheesecakers. My head has been wasted. After thinking I wasn't cycling again til after new year. I started bleeding on cd22. I never get af without medicated help so that was a surprise. They started another cycle. Clomid 50 and gonal f. I only had 3 doses of 225,225,150. I had scan on Friday and I had [email protected] with multiple follies @1.1. 

No more jags I had scan yesterday. I had a good follie @1.8 and one @1.4  still multiple @1.1  so I was triggered at midday yesterday. I had my iui today with a good quality sample. 

The iui was awful today. I've never had it so bad. I even broke a nail grabbing onto couch. She said my cervix was twisted the Thats it done. It was really painful this this time. Really bad cramp just now. Just gonna head home to couch. Xxxx way. Made me cough. When ur bursting for the loo and have an extra long speculum inside you. Coughing is no mean feet. 

Sorry to moan but I have the worst cramp possible. I'm lying on couch exhausted and feeling mighty sorry for myself. 

Hope all my buds r well. Xxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Lynn - how exciting, but sorry its so uncomfortable. Hopefully it will pass soon after some chilling on the sofa and some tlc from DH. Lots and lots of luck for this 2ww and I hope it passes quickly and with a big celebration at the end      and    for feeling poop.

While we are on the subject of moaning ...........

I always said I would never tell you about my last cycle because I need ´the end´to come and deal with it myself before I am under any ´pressure´to come and tell my friends on here. I hope that makes sense. Well it turns out I´ve been given a reprieve (I have an icebaby  ) so I can confess my tx sins and moan and get sympathy   . So yep, I´m on my 2ww, an undisclosed way through with an undisclosed OTD  . I have 2x8 cell babies on board and a blast on ice. To say I´m shocked to have an icebaby is an understatement, its years since we had one of them, but for it to be a blast is really amazing. Its not been the best of cycles although massively helped by Karen and Squirrel the superbuds     who have held my had the whole way, fixed a needle crisis over tapas and hidden my jacking up from all at a comedy club   . I went from having hardly any follies and ´well lets try a couple more days stimming and see if we can get your ovaries to do something´, to 19 follies and OHSS   . I´m trying to be proud of the fact that my 37 year old ovaries are capable of OHSS but to be honest I´m too grumpy and uncomfortable. I can only waddle instead of walk, I can´t lie down so can´t sleep, I can´t breath and only hyperventilate,  I can´t eat or drink enough and I´m out of clean clothes big enough to hide my bump, which incidently is comparable to D´s. I´ve had to drag my sorry @rse to work for a few hours the last 2 days but thats it, no more I just can´t do it, and tomorrow me and my belly are on the sofa for the day. OHSS is awful, its so confusing wanting af to arrive so it goes and also wanting it to get worse meaning because you have a BFP - it takes away any of the excitement and hope you might have. So thats the saga of my last few weeks. I am very pleased to be on the 2ww again but sooooooo tired.    I bet that is a long enough post for you all to wish I was quiet again!

So Pooky - my body still hasn´t managed to get ill  

Most importantly, Maisie    how are you getting on today?


----------



## lynn1303

Yay  kat. We can be 2ww buds. It all sounds very promising. Big hugs xxxx


----------



## 1972

OMG Kat! Im glad you've come out and sending you massive positive vibes and truly hope this is your time!! You so deserve it .    

Lynn- I hope you feel better soon and sending you   too xx

I'm ok. Back at work today, good distraction. I'm a bit worried I'm not 'dealing' with it . My current feeling is relief, I'm just glad I can have a break- you girls who've done this many times are so brave. I don't think I'm strong enough. I'm devastated of the outcome but the relief of not having to go through this again, for now is helping. It may be the 3 goes in a short time , drugs and hormones all over the place but I'm glad of the break. Then , I will deal with things . 

Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

(((hugs))) maisie. falling apart and cryning for days is not a compulsory part of the grief process. you will deal with it when you are good and ready so dont fret about it. maybe your hypno lady has helped you in ways you didnt know til now. your followup appt and that wonderful freedom of not being in the midst might be all you need to get closure on this clinic and move to 2012. if grief hits you later dont keep quiet though and tell us so we can help.xxx


i forgot to say in my ramble that this cycle for me is not about getting pg, its about drawing a line under the last 4 years and being able to quit tx with my head held high knowing i have done all i can. a bfp would be nice but i need to be realistic, and these are embies 15 & 16 i have had on board. the chance of these being sicky is almost zero probably but of course there is always hope lol.


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - you'll deal with it when you're good and ready to. You may not have any control over when that happens but  we'll be here whenever it happens.

Kat - I had made a mental note to pm you to find out what was going on with you. Don't knock 37 year old ovaries and 19 follies, that got me pregnant! I hope you're keeping up with your fluids to flush the OHSS out of your system. I have everything crossed for you that this cycle will work for you and you can transit from OHSS to morning sickness with ease.

Lynn - wow you're having a good response too this time. Sorry that you're not feeling great but let's hope it's worth it this time! Enjoy the sofa and lots of kitty cuddles. Question for you - I'm watching holby city - are nurses really allowed to wear that much make up?

Hello to everyone else.

Good news today. I've still got a job! Three roles are being outsourced, one person left a while ago and won't be replaced, one named person is going and one from a pool in the team i work with. I hope the horrible one goes who gave me loads of hassle. I have no input into the decision. Probably for the best as I would be a bit biased! I was told that I was safe as I have a unique role


----------



## lynn1303

Pooky I'm. Glad ur job is safe. Fx the boot gets the boot!!! Lol. 

No nurses aren't allowed to wear that much makeup. Or rings earrings neck less etc. there is no extra marital sex in the on call rooms either. I know some hospitals in Scotland have done away with them. 

There is a tradition though. The anaesthetists have the wildest parties!!!! Although recovery nurses r a close second. We had our night at weekend and an episode of corrie couldn't do the drama justice!!!! Lmao!!!! 

Xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Just wanted to congrat Kat on her super-secret super cycle! I'd just been wondering if you'd already started tx. Hope you at least told DH in the end! Hope you survive the 2ww and that pesky OHSS soon turns into MS!

Congrats to Pooky too on the fab job news! You must be so relieved. Hopefully nasty colleague is on their way out.

And congrats to our other closest cycler too! Keep sane, Lynn, and keeping everything crossed for you.

Oh, and congrats in order for Hanna too - that's great you've set a date for moving back to Finland, and are planning to use your frosties soon. 

Hugs for Maisie and everyone else in need of one.

Sorry I'm a bit of a rubbish poster at the moment... Not in a good place right now. Going to see GP on Thursday, as think need to see a counsellor or go on a course of something to take the edge off... Following the thread and thinking of you all.

xxx


----------



## Big hat

This thread should not be called the 'Darling Buds' it should be the 'Double take' thread.  I will be planning on legal action for my repetitive strain injury from all the times I mooch on to here for a little catch up only to go 'What?!!' (and do a double take).....

Maisie - I take my hat off to you.  You are a trooper.  .  Don't make your decisions about anything yet, have your follow up, and leave the decision making for a later date.

KAT!  Well, what can we say....  Hurrah for you getting yourself all organised and on the 2ww.  Fab news, but oh so sneaky!!!  Really hope we get some good news from you sometime soon.  

Lynn - oh, that procedure sounds awful.  I think DH enjoys watching my facial reactions when I am reading this thread - all the contortions.  I was wincing reading your post.  Fx for you lady  - and go on, tell us the goss from your party  . xx

Pooky - I was wondering about your job.  That is such fabulous news.  It means you can sit back and enjoy your morning sickness now (on the countdown to maternity leave - hurrah). xx

Hanna - yes, fab news.  Get you, miss organised.

Honor - sweetie.  I think we all wish we could make it better for you.  You do need to do whatever it is that is going to benefit you.  We will all be here for you.  I just wish there was something more we could do.  


Afm.  Skating Sunday - well, cousin blew us out so, it was just my sister, her DH and children and me (and DH).  The thing with skating is, it's never quite as you remember; as you tie yourself into the boots and feel those little rubs, you realise you have just spent £15 to spend the next hour shuffling on ice.  Hardly Torville and Dean!  My sister et famille looked fabulous (as expected).  We had been to a party the night before.  Wine tasted very good at this party, and we finally got to bed at 2am.  So, I racked up at the skating with a carpet for a tongue, two boiled eggs for eyes, and a that kind of flushed and shiny look under very pasty skin - looking gohoohud! I wore a long coat to cover the saddle bags but, I really don't think that was what they were looking at  .  Oh well, I can breathe out again for another few months.... .

We are doing our abx's for hidden C in January so, I reckon that's when I'll be detoxing.......

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## lynn1303

Big hugs honor. U know where we r and u have my number if u wanna chat or Skype. 

Oh curly night out was ridiculous. One of the girls brought her dp who spent the nite perving on the girls especially me apparently my perfume was making him stand to attention!! That's me being polite!!! Yuk!!  We have a 22 yr old guy not long started with us who started kissing one of the girls he flirts with all the time who's married btw!!!!! Then dumps her and goes off with another colleague who is 39. The married chic was actually upset that he chose the single girl who offered it on a plate. Unfortunately we could hear them at it in the room nxt door. 

Then Perv guy turned on his gf and stormed off only to have police arrive to tell my mate he was in cells for drink driving. 

One of the girls who just got married in summer ended up in bed spooning another one of the new starts. He was rubbing her leg and tum under duvet. As soon as I clocked that I stayed in room with them coz I didn't want her to regret anything in the am. 

They put on the table where u work. A bunch of guys started fighting in the nxt table. One of them was really hurt so they came to get us a bunch of drunk nurses to help the poor boy who got knocked out!!!

Drama drama drama. Lol
I was exhausted!!! Don't know if I'll go to another work do.


----------



## Pookychops

Gosh Lynn, that sounds like quite a night! Did you have to go through it sober due to treatment? I've got to come up with not drinking excuses for two work parties on thurs and Friday. I felt really bad yesterday and one guy was oh feeling sick in the morning, I'll be watching what you drink on thursday to see if you're pregnant. I put it down to nerves due to my meeting about job. 

Honor - I'm home all day if you want a Skype call.


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - I think I forgot to say how excited I am for you going home too. I can't wait for he next buds meet in Northern Finland 

Lynn - hey buddy  Have the cramps gone today?

Curly - I ahve utmost respect for you not pulling out of skating too. Dangerous sport if you ask me. Everyone here learns when they are still in nappies so it doesn't hurt to fall and don't understand my refusual to 'have fun' with them.

Maisie -  and 

Honor    to you too. Don't suffer in slience though and if you need to get it all out then do. I'm on skype all day too or you can use this thread. If you aren't comfy using this thread then use the negative cycle one maybe. Lots of ladies go on there and just let all their feelings out and feel so much better for it. Push for counselling before meds with the Dr tomorrow. I'm not against meds, you know I pop them daily, but I know counselling takes time to sort out and also I really do think for those of us being beaten down by IF, we need to do the councelling alongside medication and not just be given tablets and told to go deal with it. Feel free to ignore the next few sentences of 'Kats selfhelp guide'  , but you could try 5HTP (get it in Holland and Barret). Its a precursor to seratonin and melatonin and naturally occurs in you anyway. It may not be enough to lift you but it might help you never know (don't take it though if the Dr prescribes you something). And you can add stuff to your diet to help too. Going carb free is bad for your serotonin levels. Eating protein and some carbs together helps produce serotonin. Chicken, eggs, oily fish, nuts are good too. If you need comfort from chocolate go for high cocoa content. How much it really helps I'm dubious to be honest.
And my biggest tip of the day is check out the Rip Roar Comedy Bristol 
http://www.riproarcomedy.co.uk/index.php?id_page=249&id_language=1&id_gig=25605
£15 quid for a night laughing this weekend. It really did me the world of good when I went with Karen and Squirrel and I know they'd agree. Its no cure but its a few hours respite from the world.
Most of all though  and 

AFM - DH did notice the drugs in the fridge but we never really talk about tx, there is nothing for us to say that we haven't saud 8 times already. He was away for ec though  but luckily squirrel was on hand over sms  . Last night he asked me how long I was going to look so pg for, I said about 8 more months  . He is also pleased about our icebaby. I wasn't sure if he would be. I haved mixed emotions about it. We so wanted all this over my 2012 but now it won't be because of our frostie and it feels like we are just delaying the inevitable even further if you get what I mean. Anyway, #1 priority today is tidying the bedroom. I need 6 pillows to sleep sitting up and while I was in the shower I think my boy invited one of his puppy friends round for a pillow fight  . He looked mighty pleased with his mess I can tell you.

Love to you all, 
Katxxx
/links


----------



## Gladys07

Honor      please contact and share with any of us, we are here to keep each other going. I hope you find what you need to get back to you.xx

KAT  -     you dark horse you, you go girl and I keep telling you 37 is sooooooooooooooooo not oldxx I had a mahoosive tummy through treatment etc they said it wasn't OHSS but i begged to differ.  I am here      to universe for you.

love to all Dxxx


----------



## Carey

Afternoon Buds - Its been very busy on here & ive been working away so i think i have missed some bits.

Lynn - Great news on your IUI PUPO, hopefully the pain goes soon hun. Wow your night out sounds very full on but exciting, my work people are very boring & never any action or gossip xx

Kat - Congrats to being PUPO, you kept that   fab that you have a frozen blast too   xx

Pooky - Great news on the job front hun xx

Honor - Big hugs hun   xx

Maisie  -   For you too xx

Hello to all you other lovely buds          

xxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

I'm hovering but not much energy for lots of personals. Just a few ...,

Honor- sending you massive   and please don't suffer in silence. Xxx

Kat- you are sounding very positive! I'm guessing OTD is soon so sending you lots of   and  . Xxx

Lynn- hope you are feeling bit better?

Hi to all my other lovely buds. I'm feeling ok, AF here with a vengence . Worst one yet. With symptoms and state of AF I wonder if things did work out maybe just for a few days   was in agony last night with cramps . I don't know if I'm in denial or dealing well? Still haven't really cried. Ive been good with not googling new options etc. will wait . 

Love you all xxxx


----------



## Big hat

Hey now Maisie, I didn't want to suggest that, but now you've mentioned it, I think it may be true. All your symptoms were there, and then you felt them just fade.  I know it doesn't seem so now but,  it is worth talking to them about it in your follow-up..... you got so far so there has to be some positivity if you decide to try again (elsewhere)...is there something they can suggest is worth investigating more?  So sorry about AF; it really is like the extra kick in the teeth isn't it    .

Curlyone
xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello gorgeous ones,

Maisiemoo - still thinking of you and want you to know that you shouldnt put pressure on yourself to act one way or another.  Your grief will come out when it needs to, if it needs to. So sorry to hear about your cramps, totally agree with curly about asking them at your follow up. I think you are doing exactly the right thing having a little break and getting a fresh perspective next year. Am a big fan of yours, so us 2012 cyclers shall help each other when we need to!   xx

Kat! Your cheeky secret is out! Awesome! I am still super proud of your geriatric   ovaries and your fighting embryos. You did so well injecting in random places! Great to see you bqck on here, and sounding upbeat. I actually hope your tummy gets bigger and bigger due to exciting developing embryos, but I just hate you being in pain. It really upsets me! Lots of love xx

Karen - if you are reading, love ya xx

Pooky - how are you angel? When is your scan? Any impressive vomiting yet?! Xx

Honor - cant recommend counselling and kats advice enough!! Will be on hand to skype, am in tonight if you fancy. Just remember you have been through so much in the last six months, including the devastating neo news. Give yourself credit for surviving and being wonderful. You are strong, and if you need to lean on others, just do it. Chin up tits out my fellow limbo land lady xx

Lynn - alright my scottish beautie?! Another secret cycler! All sounds ace, except for the evil speculum etc - you poor poor thing. My pelvic floors are wincing in sympathy. All work party shenanigans greatly appreciated. Good luck for your tww xx

D and carey - christmas wishes to you both xx

Curlyone - your posts always make me smile! Well done for attempting the skating. Bet you looked fab. January detox and meds sounds like a plan, good for you. Us 2012 girls need a good plan.   xx

Everyone - sending some december pre christmas cheer   xx

AFM, going to a body combat class tonight, had a vitamin d blood test this morning(was brave, no lollipop though). We are  planning on fresh start in Jan with new clinic appointment on the 8th Jan. One month to drink wine, de stress and figure out some way to deal with impending sisters labour/new baby. Must man up. Christmas work party in a couple of weeks - theme is Disney! Am going as Wendy, Nick is Peter Pan, another person is Tinkerbell, and we also have a crocodile, a mermaid and captain hook. Will update gossip as we go. 

Love you all and sorry if I missed any personals. Mwah xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

The snow is falling ........ I love winter   

Honor - how did you get on today? I hope the Dr has given you some hope    

Maisie   may one of those beans did stick for a bit. I think we have all been wondering that because of your symptoms, I hope so because its a good sign for your future. And as for dealing with it pr being in denial. I´m not sure it really matter which it is and you  have to do what ever you need to get you through the days.

Curly - January detox sounds like a good way to start the year.

Squirrel - I hope having a plan helps you get through the arrival of your neice/hephew and means you are able to enjoy the new baby know yours will only be a year behind.

Thanks for all your prayers everyone but I think they are wasted. For the first time in 10 days I can breath again which is great but obviously bad news on the BFP front. I think its going to take more than prayers to get these to stick. And I´m not at all positive its just that hyperstimming means you don´t get a chance to think about being PUPO and what you are aiming for. Hyperstimming is about surviving and counting how many times you pee a day and how much you manage to squeeze out. It kind of makes you blase about tx because you have so much else to think about. I have my christmas party tomorrow  and nothing fits at all and certainly nothing hides my bump so I´m a bit stressed about it and worried how I am going to do a days work and then go to a party without a sleep ........... and bit stressed that the symptoms are easing slighty. Ssssshhhhhh though, I never get stressed in the 2ww so keep it to yourselves lol. Anyway, life goes on, dishwashers break, DHs drive you distaction (over said dishwasher) and heat pumps go on the blink  . 


Love to you all from a not negative or positive, just indifferent Katxxx


----------



## lynn1303

hey girlies  Kat i think what you are doing is bang on.  get through the ohss and see what else happens.  I dn't know if your religous or not but i've been praying to St Rita of cascia.  SHe is the patron saint of infertility and hopeless cases.  Ive beenpraying to her for us all.  I even added her medal to my rosary beads. big hugs

squirrel - how are you hunni? I have 11nieces and nephews with another on the way so i can empathise with the new arrival.  i'd like to say it gets easier but i'd be lying.  what is true is the fact we are all here for you and each other.

i don't know if any of you are watching the news but scotland especially glasgow where i stay are getting hit with 100mph winds.  it s trending on ******* as hurricane bawbag (scottish slang for scrotum and is used to describe someone who is an idiot)  its actually very funny.  but the winds ar seriously scary!!!!!

i'm on skype too ladies.  pm for my id.

hope all buds are doing well.  honor how r u feeling today?

maisie we all deal with grief differently i wouldn't criticise ursel for not feeling or doing what u may think u should be doing.  let ur body and mindtakeits time and see hat happens.

pooky, karen, dee, carey, curly a big hi there and hello.


----------



## Nordickat

Lynn - stay safe tonight. I hope you don´t have to go out to work? I think we are getting the tailend of your hurricane bawbag, not such strong wind but it seems to have dumped about 20 cm of snow so far tonight and still going strong ........ much to DHs distress since has been out twice already to clear the snow off the satelite ........ should learn to read book instead of watch trash tv   . I´m not at all religious but I can see myself praying to the saint of hopeless causes   . Isn´t she the one who has some connection to bees too? Seems appropriate so I´m off to bed to give her a try.


Sweet, storm free dreams wee buddy,
 Katxxx


----------



## lynn1303

kat i was supposed to be working tuesday and wednesday but i took them off.  not back til saturday. hope the weather gets better.  i can't be annoyed with it - u think i'd be used to it by now!!  i'll do some investigating into the saint of bees!! lol

i really want some newsreader to call it hurriane bawbag without realising what they are saying.  thats the five year old in me sniggering whe the adults swear!!! lol


----------



## lynn1303

St ambrose is the patron saint of bees and bee keepers. 

Xxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks again lovely buds. 

Kat - hang in there girl , I'm sending you all my positivity and praying this is the time you and DH deserve more than any one . Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Squirrel-   honey. Enjoy the Disney party. Xxxxx

Lynn- stay safe in the winds xxxx

Hello to everyone else. Thankyou for all your kind words. Will deffo mention things at follow up. Xx


----------



## Big hat

Hey Maisie, good on you.  I would try and really push for them to do whatever else they can do for you that's free, even if it isn't the full tx.  Once price tags get put on their suggestions it does become a bit more 'oiy, oiy, why do I need that test?' They must be able to offer you something  .

Lynn - your party sounds outrageous.   What a wonderful pupo mummy you are; I'd have been a bit more of a 'well you're on your own' kind of colleague.  The last time I went to parties like that I was working for a large tourist organisation in London (why do people always forget about the cctv?).  Hope you are still intact after that wind that's been battering you 'oop north. 

Kat - hang on in there, and try not to give up hope. There is so much going on in your body at the moment that it must feel like it's on a roller coaster, and doesn't know what symptoms to offer up. Enjoy your party tonight, and try not to think about all that's going on in the engine room.  

Squirrel - Hey there 2012 buddy! Having a plan means that you can a) enjoy christmas and b) look at your new niece/nephew and think 'good, my little one will have a cousin near their age, so can look after each other through life'.   Am sure you will look fab as Wendy ( a few of us taller ones would be rocking more of the Grayson Perry look if we tried that fancy dress outfit on  ).  Looking forward to the gossip.

Pooky - Hey popular lady - how are the energy levels?  Parties last night and tonight....! At least you know that if they are not good you now have a very good excuse to leave early  .x

Honor - how are you?  I hope your appointment went ok yesterday.  Has it helped you come up with any plans? Stay with us sweetie   and we'll all try and help.  Let's face it, there are some very sage buds on here who can offer you a wise word or two.  

Gladys and Carey - our 'blooming' lovelies, trailblazing for the rest of us.  Hope you are both well. xx

Rachel - where are you?  I'm hoping that your DS is ready for his new nursery, and that you are busy shopping for christmas, and your now quiet for any other reason.  

Karen, Twinklie, ma-me, evap, Hanna and all other buds, hope you are all ok.

hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Nordickat

Lynn - Oops, although I'm sure St Rita of Cascia won't have minded me asking her to keep my bees safe in the storms last night. I hope old bawbad has calmed down now?

No more personals from me ........ I'm a proper bah humbug today   . I hate our work party and I'm cursing myself for agreeing to go. The Norwegians do enforced fun on command. I'm pretty much fluent in Norwegian now but don't know the word for spontaneous ....... never needed it before   . Its a formal dinner sat next to somebody you are told too and I have an issue with that. If I wanted to sit next to them I'd have lunch and coffee with them. Since I don't its highly unlikey I want to spend my evening with them ......... told you ....... bah humbug! And the weather has turned awful. DH spent 2 hours clearing wet snow this morning and now eveyrwhere is just deep slush but by the time I go home tonight the forecast is -10. Cold I like, but not foot deep frozen slush. Jeez I'm miserable   . I'll slap myself about it a bit and come back when I'm chirpier ......... I'm not very good at OHSS, it makes me miserable it seems.

Grumpy cuddles to you all, 
Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

I think I'll join kat with the bah humbug. Am gonna blow out tonight's party as too tired after last nights. Had a good time though. One of the gay guys was speculating if he and his bloke got their sperm to get jiggy what would happen. He concluded that they would end up with a placenta only but no baby and do would need some female help if they wanted to have a baby. 

All I want to do is go home and curl up on the sofa in my pjs. Would go home sick but there's a meeting at four to find out how many people overall are being made redundant and I'm far too nosey to miss that!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

I have been following you all and  for good news from *Kat* and *Lynn* soon!

*Lynn*: St Rita of Cascia sounds like the saint for me .

*Grumpy Kat*: Hope you manage to enjoy your Christmas dinner, despite the grumpiness.
Your description of Norwegian "enforced fun on command" sounds a lot like the Germans' preferred type of fun - turn up en masse at the prearranged place at precisely the prearranged time, clap lots, cheer, go home with the rubbish collectors and street cleaning vehicles hotly on your heels. E N D O F F U N.

     to everyone else - I _am_ thinking of you all, just not really in the mood for posting.

Going to see counsellor on Wed. at the clinic - hope she can help!

Take care everyone,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Apologies to Buds on Skype for any random messages appearing to you or lack of response to messages from you... My Skype seems to think it's funny to deliver messages to me several days late, so I'm guessing it's doing the same delivering mine .

*Squirrel*: I just got one from you from 5 December and didn't realise this until I'd replied to you.

*Lynn*: I did the same with you too - got your message from yesterday just now and replied before I realised when you'd sent it.

*Karen*: Yesterday I got one from you you sent on something like 24 November!

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Honor I'm glad u have an appointment. U know where I am if u want tales of the unexpected from hurricane baw bag!! Lol. We r friends forever and always. Big hugs. Xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Quick hello ladies...
Xmas madness is really keeping me short and sweet, need bed.
Kat & Lynn       Hope St Rita of Cascia delivers some great news to you both soon xx
Honor- Hope counselling helps, hun xx
Everyone- huge   to you all xx
afm- ITCHYYYY! Now, Don't you even dare smile when I tell this... I think I've been either attacked by mites or fleas at work. And it is not funny. 4 of us suddenly had strange bite marks on our arms, suddenly I got 4 on my neck, 1 behind my knee and 3 on my back, everyone else just got 1 or 3. First I found it rather funny but once I've scratched my skin to blood, it really wasn't funny any more. Then, 1 was diagnosed with shingles and the rest of us went to panic ( and secret hopeful gasp of getting xmas off), and my spots got even itchier... so I've just spent 2 hours locked up in a private room in A&E so I don't give my shingles to the rest of town...only to find out they are indeed insect bites, no shingles. Shingles would've been easier to rid, I think though than flea infestation from a clothing store... hmmmm... I was rather panicky though, and ended up going through my carpets and mattress with a torch and a magnifying glass yesterday as I was at some point sure it's bed bugs, it wasn't...   
So that's my last few days events for you to amuse about  
Hope all is good
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - I´m really pleased you have a session on wednesday and I´m glad its a fertility one too. I hope she can help and provide you that place you need to get it all out in the open   


My christmas party was [email protected]! Honor had it pretty much spot on but missed the singing songs and the looooooong looooooong speeches through poor quality slop they call christmas dinner. Saw too many   because nobody had a dress that fit and too many boobs because everyone was too drunk on the dance floor. Left at 10:30 and vowing I would never drink again in case I looked like they did. Miserable old trout that I am  


Film and chocolate now.
Love Mardy @rse Katxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Honor - good luck with session, hope it really helps   xx
Maisiemoo - how you doing lovely? Xx
Kat - your work party sounds awful! Glad you are heading for film and sofa - what a good weekend should be about. Really hope you are ok in this tww xx
Lynn - hows you chicken? Xx
Hanna - any advice on fleas, I am your squirrel   xx
Pooky, curly, everyone else - hope you are having a good weekend xx
AFM just had a naughty take away pizza, and it served me right to have a spider in the take away box with my pizza. Small freak out. Bit off form, sorry for no long posts but hope everyone is ok and love to all xx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Hope you are all well. 

Hanna- oh no re a&e crisis!!!! Hope you manage to find the culprits and get rid. Nothing Dorset than being all itchy. I'm so lucky that cat has never had fleas as they are a bugger to get rid but I once had problem at work when worked in store with stock from India coming in with bugs and they got everywhere! 

Squirrel- hello ! Sod the pizza, it's Xmas and doesn't matter what you eat! Hope you are ok and managing. Not long now and we can all think ahead to 2012 and fresh starts x  

Kat- I can picture the face at the Xmas do hehe!!!!   at least you went, not so mardy Kat   thinking of you xxxxxx

Honor - how are you doing  

Lovely buds. Hi to the rest of you, hope you are all having lovely weekends. Xx

AFM- I'm doing ok. Finding it awkward talking about it to people. ***** friend is back on the scene, how coincidental now it's all over..... Met her yesterday , had mooch into town and bumped into another friend who's been quiet. Ended up going for coffee and catch up. Felt bad as moaned sbout her lack of contact to DH and she's recently found out her dad had cancer again, same place as 5 years ago so she's devastated... Felt bad as things for me could be so much worse. Closest freind then said to me now it's over  , maybe I will relax and get pregnant . Now buds, why has noone explained to me that just being chilled unblocks tubes and improves egg reserves, I would have tried it for last 3 years!!!!!!!!!!! 

Seriously though, I'm doing ok. What can I do. I'm sad and I'm worried but what will be, will be... My new tattoo motto by the way.. Still thinking about that one. 

Love you all xxxxxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Maisie we should put that in our book. Things people say to attempt to help but makes us wanna slap them. 

1- just relax get drunk and go On holiday. 
2- stop trying
3- at least u know u can get pregnant!! 

Pls feel free to add to list!!!


----------



## Nordickat

Game over for me. Spots yesterday, PMT and heavy tummy today, same old same old. I expect cramping tomorrow and sore boobs to vanish by tuesday or wednesday. You´d think I´d at least be immune to the pain in my heart by now wouldn´t you ......... sadly not.


Take care one and all, 
Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Kat, bless  .  I hope with all my heart that this is just your body playing with you.  Sometimes this process seems so cruel and unfair.  Sweetie pie, I don't know what else to say to make you feel better.  I'm just so, so sorry.

Maisie   - your post left me astounded.  That a friend would still say that when they know what you've been through.  You're a better person than me, I'd be filing that in the 'return to sender' part of my brain (whether I wanted to or not, it would be delivered back at some point ....). I think said friend needs to be relegated to the 'acquaintance' pile.

Hanna - stop that scratching!

Hugs to all other buds, but mostly today, to Kat


----------



## lynn1303

Oh kat. I hope that it's just ur body acting a cruel joke and that u r still in with a chance. 

Big extra special hugs. Xx


----------



## Pookychops

Big   to kat today. The fact that you feel the pain shows that you are only human and of course it's going to hurt. I just wish I could do something to help you and make it all work out for you - that goes for everyone. 

Big  

Take care

Pooky xxx


----------



## ma-me28

kat


----------



## squirrel2010

Kat - course you hurt. How can you not. I wish we could make it all ok. Still here for you angel. Keep us posted xx
Maisiemoo - you are doing so well. Sounds like you are coping and even have your sense of huhmour back after your mean friends comments. Honestly. Xx
Pooky - hope you are ok xx
Honor - no skype messages? Whats going on?! Xx
Hanna - hope the bitey little critters bugger off soon xx
Lynn - how goes your tww? Xx
Everyone - thought from me is chin up tits out, whatever stage you are at. No option but to keep bloody going. 
Have super AF pains, being a right moody squirrel but genuinely no choice but to push on through the madness of life. Feeling quite melancholy but no reason to be, especially in view of what some of my special buds are going through. So am going to chirp up and look after everyone else now. Seriously love all you girls, and wish I could wave a magic wand.  Instead I will wiggle my fluffy squirrel toes and shake my fluffy squirrel tail at you all in a little squirrel dance of good luck to all who need it. Huge huge hugs xxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Thanks for all your kind words   . I've had a change of heart this morning. I might never get to be PUPO again (only one iceababy so only 50/50 chance really) so I'm going to make the most of it. How about it not being PMT and just being a bit grumpy for a few hours? I have no cramps today and its today I should have them, and I feel sick and lets ignore the fact that half my team are off sick, it must be morning sickness mustn't it  . I AM PUPO .......... I wonder if I can just not test and be PUPO forever   . I might have to stay away for the rest of the week. If I have nobody to listen to me panic then maybe I'll panic less. This is not me at all, my normal 2ww is a peace of cake so I'm obviously feeling the 'last cycle' stress and need to take a few deep breaths away from here.

Have a lovely week all of you and just because I'm not here doesn't me you are not in my thoughts.

Special   to honor, maisie, karen and squirrel.
 to my buddy lynn and   to eveyrone else.

Catch up soon, 
Lots of love, PUPO katxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Kat you are brilliant.     to keep you going xx

Hello to everyone else xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Kat - was just thinking that it was a bit early to throw in the towel! Definitely not over yet, although of course I understand that you're not very hopeful considering your past failures. But just looking at this cycle it could still work! You wouldn't be the first one to get a sticky BFP after multiple failed cycles. All fingers crossed over here...    

Hope everyone else is fine. I know I'm not very active on the boards right now, still not well - cold is gone, but sickness has come back. And still very tired. SO worth it though.

Here's hoping for lots of sickness and tiredness for everyone!


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - do whatever you need to do to get you through till test day. Thinking of you and sending you lots of     and  

Twinklie - glad your cold has gone. Not so good that sickness is back though. I hope it finishes soon.

I'm having a sickie today. Had evil sore throat all weekend and felt like crap and so decided to take it easy today. I need to hit the Internet to do some Christmas shopping. Only bought four presents so far and really can't face the shops.

 and   to you all

Take care

Pooky xxx


----------



## Pookychops

One more thing - why are all young ladies wearing false eye lashes and heavy black eye liner these days? Am I getting old?

Bless - Archie has use brought in a bit of bark from the garden !!!


----------



## lynn1303

Kat it wasn't pmt if hubby just being an ****!!! That's his fault not urs or the hormones. 

Pooky. I got my fake lashes done for my Xmas nite. Had my eyeliner on too. I'm just trying to recapture my youth. Gonna be 30 in march and I'm totally freaking!!!! 


Well I came home to a lovely letter. I have my ivf consult on 6 jan. so if 2011 ends badly then 2012 will be better!!!!!

Big hugs. Xx


----------



## Pookychops

That's great news Lynn   don't worry, the thought of turning 30 is worse than the actual event. You're so young compare to most of us on here! When I was 30 I was still living in sin with no sign of a proposal and any mention of babies was met with drop dead looks. So you're miles ahead of me! 

Last time I wore fake eyelashes they started coming unstuck and you can see on the photos that they are peeling off   I remember trying to glue them back on when I was so drunk I could barely see straight


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

Hope you all had good weekends . Sorry I'm being a bit lazy for scrolling back to respond to posts, just wanted to check in!

*Kat*: Hope you're doing ok .

*Lynn*: Hang in there !

*Pooky*: Thanks for Skype chat Saturday morning .

*Squirrel*: Would love to catch up soon - let me know when's good for you .

*Hanna*: Oh dear, fleas... We had that problem with our cat once. A good thing we read about and tried that seemed to work was 3 drops of pure lavender oil mixed with 1 litre water (let me check proportions with DH) in a spray bottle to spray on carpets and furniture.

*Karen*: Hope you're ok? Missing you and your posts .

*Maisie*: Hope you're doing ok too .

*Everyone else*:     . Missing you all and thinking we need to organise another Cheesecake Fest for early in the new year!

*AFM*: Feeling a bit brighter now that I have a session booked with the counsellor and Christmas plans sorted. I was NOT in the mood for Christmas at all and didn't really want to trek up to my parents' again for a packed few days of visitors and visiting when I'm feeling low. Was worried about offending my parents, felt guilty about not wanting to go and kind of like I was being pushed into it by them. All's well that ends well though and I'm now (semi )-looking forward to Christmas just the two of us in our own home.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Lol pooky. I'm surprised u didn't end up gluing ur eyes together. I can't do the glue ones. I need to get the semi perm ones done. My story is quite sad. Dh and I were friends from school. In fact there is a nursery class pic with both of us in it. Although none of us remember each other. He left high school b4 me. We met up at a Xmas party when we were 18 engaged and living together by 22 married by 24 trying for a family since day one of marriage. And the rest they say is history. 

Honor. Is it this Wednesday u have appointment? Remember I'm on Skype too hunni. 

Big hUgs.


----------



## Pookychops

That's not sad at all. I would have loved to meet someone when I was younger. It wasn't meant to be though and I was made to wait.... I don't mind though. I had fun


----------



## 1972

Kat- yes! Loving the change of spirit. Am so hoping with all my heart that it's your turn and great news xxxxxx

Lynn- I'm bloody 40 in feb so hush your noise re 30!!!!! 30 is fab   

Rachel- I'm glad you've sorted Xmas and feeling a little better. I'm sooooooo up for a second fest. Don't forget if any buds would make the journey you are all more than welcome to my 40th party.  

Pooky/twinklie- hope you feel better soon. Xx

D- hi honey x

Work is a mare and deffo keeping me distracted. I don't really know what to do next. I have follow up Friday, then have voucher for half price consultation at lister , so may book that to hear what they have to say. My parents have just sold relatives home that we've been waiting for , taken 10 months. This should complete in jan and we were hoping my parents may give us some pennies. This would allow us maybe one more go. We will see. 

Meanwhile it's Ttc naturally, twinklie is my inspiration


----------



## Twinklie

Maisie - I did a cycle + FET at the Lister. I was very happy with them, would probably have done another cycle there if I'd stayed in London. I saw many women who were classed as poor responders or having poor egg quality on the Lister board get pregnant. It's not cheap though. Just let me know if you have any questions and I'll do my best to help! 

In the mean time, good luck trying naturally! Don't believe any of that "just relax and it will happen", I was horribly stressed and making hundreds of plans for the next cycle, and the next, and the next... I think the only thing that will actually make a difference is not forgetting to  now and then. And then if you're lucky it might happen - when you least expect it.


----------



## lynn1303

Do any of u girlies think cats can sense pregnancy? Since my insem a week ago one of my cats keeps lying on my tummy. Everyday and night he falls asleep there. He has always been affectionate but nothing like this. I'm 8 days post iui now and had extremely bad tummy pains yesterday and overnight.  So it's not looking good but for some reason my wee kitty is giving me hope. He's never did this on past iui cycles.


----------



## bell26

Lynn, my mums cat laid across her tummy the whole time she was pregnant with me. As soon as I was born she stopped ! Also the neighbours cat comes to my window and he wanders onto the windowsil and nudges and rubs into my bump, there is alot to be said for a kitty's sixth sense.... Hoping your cat knows something you don't !  xx


----------



## Gladys07

Hi lyn my cat who is quite timid lies across my tummy all the time since I got pregnant 
X


----------



## lynn1303

Ooo I hope so. Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

BFN #9 for me     . I'm so angry at myself for allowing myself to believe that it could work for me of all people     .
My journey is over now but I'm honoured to have shared it with you, and meeting some of  you was one of the highlights of my IF career.
I hope you all have lovely Christmas' and that those of you who need to, manage to draw a line under 2011 and face 2012 with new hopes and new dreams.
Take care of each other, Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Kat,  That is such awful news.    Please don't be angry with yourself.  We all, in this process, have to have hope otherwise we wouldn't get through it. Please know that we are all here for you, to offer cyberhugs, laugh with you and cry with you whenever you need us.

big hugs sweetie

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Twinklie

I'm so so sorry Kat.


----------



## Gladys07

Kat  - I am so sorry and always have hope in life in everything you do otherwise there would be no point.   Please remember you are a wonderful person and I for one am glad I met you.

Have a relaxing Christmas and enjoy winter walks in your new cosy North Face and I look forward to talking to you when you are ready about your plans for 2012, which I assume will have lots of exciting adventures.

Dx


----------



## lynn1303

Kat I'm so sorry hunni. Big hugs. Xxxxx


----------



## bell26

So sorry Kat  xx


----------



## Nordickat

Thanks for being so kind. I need a rant and I don´t know where else to go so you can suffer with me  


Just after my BFN my boss came to see me half an hour late for our supposedly weekly (she usually cancels) meeting. She appologises and says she can squeeze me in for 10 minutes but has lots of important meetings today so can we meet quickly tomorrow instead. Clearly I am not important. I childishly responded with a ´whatever´and stomped home with no plans to return before Monday. BFNs are hard enough without being told how unimportant you are too ........ and she is flippin pg  . Then I went to the Dr to get a pescription for my happy pills and due to the fact I have been ignoring his calls and not turned up for the last 2 appts  , the Dr won´t let me have any meds until I have an appt with him   . He doesn´t think I should have had this tx because he didn´t think I was mentally stable enough for it and I know I am certainly not stable enough to sit there and have him tell me how much he disapproves. The thing is, you can´t just stop the meds, you need to come off slowly which is hard enough, but I don´t have enough left to do that anyway so I have no idea what I am going to do. My shrink is also too busy to see me and then is abroad for a month so I can´t see her until mid january. I didn´t even bother to make that appt, if I can survive til then without help or meds then I don´t need to see her at all. I think I might be about to get in a bit of a mess and I can´t see the way out. Oh and I can´t tell DH because he will hit the roof if he knows I missed my Dr appts   .


Never rains but it pours hey? Thanks again for your kind words but I´ll bounce back soon enough don´t worry. I just need to beat the stupidity out of myself for actually thinking I could ever be a mummy  - idiot  
Katxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Kat throw the leather strap away and be kind to yourself xx


----------



## Sooby

So sorry to see it didn't work out for you Kat. I just logged on to check in on you (haven't been on here for about a month) and saw your sad news.   As ever, I wish there was something I could say or do. Lots of love. Sue x


----------



## Carey

Kat sending you lots of   im so sorry xxx

Hello to all you other buds, hope all is going ok?

xxxx


----------



## ma-me28

kat am so sorry hun. x


----------



## Honor77

*Kat*. You have every right to be angry, fed up and rant. Life certainly isn't fair, but that doesn't mean you didn't and don't deserve it happen for you or that you were wrong to hope .
Take good care of yourself, and please do stick around .

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Kat, my initial reaction is 'oh my god, how awful, and I just want to beam you hugs'.....so, I went back to reread and here's my 2nd reaction:

- Please don't beat yourself up, and please do feel free to lash out - you know we are all on your side!  
- Phooey to your boss - they are 10-a-penny, and in my experience usually are so full of their own emotional sagas and needs that they want you to give them all the sympathy and go the extra mile for them, and then they forget to say thank you....
- Your Doctors secretary/receptionist needs a bit of a stiff talking to!  Fine, your Dr feels they can be a bit stern with you for ignoring them etc but, teaching you a lesson by not prescribing your meds until you have an appointment so you 'learn you lesson'!!!!!! Their receptionist needs to be made to know an appointment is urgent, and if they don't comply, ask to talk to your Dr and inform them of the situation, ask if they can do you an emergency prescription to last until your appointment. Foot down time Mrs, you need to look after number one.
- your shrink - sweetie I can't advise on this one - do they have a colleague you can see?  Only you can know if you will be alright not seeing her until January..
- your DH - I think what you've just gone through, and where you are at now will matter far more to him than any of the other stuff.  Don't block him out, both of you need the hugs....

Most importantly, please don't give up on being a mummy  .

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Darling kat.
Your boss can get stuffed. You are more important right now than anything. You are invaluable at your job and as a friend, so please dont feel you are not someone who is appreciated, regardless of muppets like her. You are worth a million of her. I bet she feels she doesnt need meetings with you because you are so brilliant, there are never any issues so you are not priority to meet with. Your doc needs a boot up the ass. Surely they know you need to wean off meds, so they have to give you some pending an appointment. We have to do that with animals. Get dh to ring and get stroppy. Or better still, let me have their number! You need sympathy, support, understanding and help - not grief or I told you so's. Your shrink must have a colleague? Or a lunch hour she can forgoe? If they are being rubbish, take it as a compliment - if they thought you were in the danger zone, she would fit you in as an extra appointment. Huge huge hugs. Letvus know what we can do to help. You are not alone. We love you xxxxx

Everyone else - love you too xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

i can have an appt any time i like. i refuse though as my dr is a twonk and will tell my i was stupid to get my hopes up anyway and i should quit tx. he is right for sure but i have no desire to sit and listen to his lecture. my demons are strong enough without him feeding them with more ammunition. i don't want to stop my meds now because it might break me but i don't want an appt so can't get any more. its my own fault as i should have sorted it all out ages ago when i was strong enough to cope with a lecture. anyway, don't worry about it, i've got myself out of deeper holes than this.

just read all your messages - thanks   

sooby - thanks to you too. you have no idea how much i wanted to surprise you with a miracle.


----------



## 1972

Oh Kat honey... I've just caught up on the thread and I'm so sorry to hear your news.   you must never give up with hope, there is always hope. It's the one thing we can have for free. I don't know what else to say. You are such a fighter and a strong willed bud, I would have to try and encourage you to go and see doctor and get some drugs if they are going to help you cope. Please don't punish yourself , just explain you don't want the lecture..

Mother nature is a cruel ***** and there is always a reason. I may have one more chance but I'm trying so hard to live life for now. I cant control this outcome, being childless isn't the worst thing that could happen to me .. Losing family, DH, illness etc are more important. I'm not suggesting we are the same but hypno women helped me realise.

Please give the doc a call and swallow that Kat pride as it will help in long run. Please don't let yourself get too down. I hope work improves and you are able to enjoy Christmas. Sending you huge hugs and strength. We all  count you as a friend an original bud so please stay in touch xx

Hi to everyone else xxxxxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Kat - bite the bullet. Go and see the twonk and as soon as you walk him, tell him you are not strong enough for a lecture. You need some more drugs and you will go and see him again once you have dealt with this initial crisis. He has to help you. Do it, you need to get your prescription. You never know, he might surprise you. However, after what has just happened, I know how hard that will be to believe. Sonpleased you are on here so we can help you     xx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - so sorry to hear your news. Sending you a huge hug   it's just not fair that it hasn't worked for you again. You must however get your backside down to the doctors and get your prescription. Do as squirrel says and just say to him that you're not quite ready for a lecture yet and that you need to hav a prescription and that if he doesn't give you one he's not being the caring doctor that he should be.

You need time to grieve and be angry and you need to do that safely on your medication. I hope dh and pooch are looking after you and giving you lots of cuddles.

Honor - how did you get on with counselling yesterday?

Lyn - cats are very sensitive creatures. My last cat attached himself to me whenever I was ill and when I got home from egg collection he sat on my belly to help keep it warm. When I got my first BFP though he stayed away from me and switched allegiances and went to dh. hard to tell with current kitties as one is permanently attached to me anyway. When's your test date?


----------



## lynn1303

The 19th is 2 weeks after trigger. The clinic want me to wait til 22nd to test.  Don't know if I'll last another 6 days!!!! I've never made it to otd b4  so if by fri no af I'm doing better than ever b4. No massive symptoms this time. Boobs only sore for 2 days. Had cramp since Tuesday. My head is frazzled!!!! Xxxx


----------



## Honor77

*Pooky*: Just remembered when I woke up thast today is your scan day!    !!!!

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Honor how r u hunni? 

Pooky. Good luck for today. Mmm I wonder how many hb's they will see. So exciting.  Xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Pooky - good luck today! Bet you're nervous, but it will be a lovely experience.   

Lynn - lots of luck to you too! Sounds promising so far.     

Kat -


----------



## Pookychops

Thanks - I am a bit nervous but the constant nausea is overriding any other thoughts at the moment. Travelling to and from work is hell and it takes me all evening to recover from getting home. I also now know how a sniffer dog feels and am trying not to smell anything as that triggers off waves of nausea. toast and crisps work wonders though - i'm blanking out the calories!


----------



## Gladys07

Good luck today Pooky - Supernoodles are also good x


----------



## Big hat

HI Ladies,

Pooky - bless.  So feel for you with your nausea. I'm sure though, that once you see your little one on the screen, you'll be able to come up with a new explanantion 'morning sickness? No, it's just baby's being selective in what they need to grow, and some things they just don't like....and like to let me know'   Hope that helps   

Lynn - er, when does your clinic close for Christmas, 22nd or 23rd?  Cor, they can be cheeky.  Hope the wait isn't too excrutiating (although we all know it is).  Fx lady, for some good news for us all for christmas. xxx 

Honor - how are you lovely?

Squirrel - like your fair but firm bit of advice.  Btw, how was the fancy dress, or is it this weekend?

Maisie - I am being astounded by how stoic you are being.  I'm glad your still on here  , it means we can all benefit from you hyno woman (makes her seem value for money now doesn't it...? )

Glady - Hiya.  I'm glad you're still on here, you seem so content.xx

Ma-me - Hi to you too. x

Kat - Hope you're still with us.  Remember, you are only going to the Dr for a repeat prescription.  The fact that he has insisted on an appointment should only mean that he wants to check that your meds are still working for you.  You are not going to him to talk about your fertility treatment, you have your consultant for that.  For your own sake, at the moment, I would separate out what your GP/Dr's current role is, and stay firm, and tell him that you have not come in to discuss your treatment.   

Rachel - have we lost you?

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi all 

Not lost me Curly - just been having a little break, how r u?

Kat - hope today is a little brighter x

Hi Maisie , honor , pooky , gladys, squirrel, hana, karen,eva,lynn,twilight and anyone ive missed hope you are all having a good day.  

afm - am looking forward to getting to the end of this differcult year onwards and upwards for 2012 hope it is a good one for all x


----------



## lynn1303

My clinic close on 23rd but want me to test on 22nd. Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Well girls, we've got two on board, both measuring 1cm. Am still in shock! Still early days though!


----------



## Big hat

Pooky - wee hee   !!!!! That's fantastic news. xxx

Lynn - what a cunning clinic - getting you to test just before they shut for crimbo.  Keeping fx for you. xx

Rachel - good to hear from you (don't like it when people fall off the radar  ).  Me?  I'm ok: pootling. xx

hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Honor77

Hurrah, *Pooky* ! That's great! Shock at it being 2 aside, do you feel any more relaxed now you've seen the proof?! I think this calls for double toast and crisps .

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

I've just had a rich tea biscuit to celebrate 

i'm still cautious as I know from reading far too much what can happen. I go for another scan on the 30th Dec at the hospital and then they turn me over to my local hospital for the 12 week scan. i just have to decide which hospital to go to.

Honor - I see you were turned down in your funding appeal. Did they give a reason why? That is so unfair - my GP was complaining about our PCT only providing one go and he was saying that people need three goes in order to give them a good chance. sending you a huge   archie and bessie send you a big    too!


----------



## lynn1303

Pooky. What wonderful news. I'm so pleased that u have 2 very happy babies snuggling on tight. Now if only I could touch u!!!! It's a Scottish tradition if ur want to be pg then when u meet a pg lady u rub their arm for luck or if they have a beautiful bump u rub that. Only do the latter if ur close to the person though. Lol.  Xxxxx

Wot a secret Santa to get!!!! Lol. Xx


----------



## Twinklie

Wonderful news pooky!   

Try not to worry too much. After seeing the heartbeat the risk of miscarriage goes down by loads. Of course, the worrying never really stops. I got in a bit of a panic a couple of days ago and ordered a doppler so I can try to listen to the heartbeat. Almost a month to my next scan and can't wait that long! I guess because we've waited so long it's hard not to feel as if you're just making it all up unless you get some proof that something is actually in there...


----------



## Twinklie

Honor - what's this about your appeal being rejected? Can't believe it! Why does it have to be so unfair?!?   If there is really no way around it I will keep my fingers crossed that you will be able to have private treatment in the near future - you did get pregnant last time so there's no reason why it wouldn't work again, only better this time!


----------



## 1972

Pooky - congrats!!!!!! So pleased for you!!!! Xxxxxx

Lynn- not long now, fingers crossed for you x  

Massive hugs to honor and Kat.  

Hi to curly, twinklie, Rachel and D. Xx

Stoic... Hmmmm. There will be a breakdown buds, I just don't know when. Day by day im ok but I do seem highly emotional. Like things on telly will make me sad and weepy. I've been thinking about it a bit last few evenings and I'm thinking new years eve will be the day. I always feel down new years anyway so this one I'm dreading. That will be my closure to the worst 12 months of my life. DH and i are going to Norfolk for few days , home on new years eve so hopefully that will be nice head clearing time. 

On a random note- has anyone used duo fertility? Some temp monitoring thing that sends you an email when you have to cop off! Lol. £450 quid but guarantees preg in a year or money back. I'm tempted ...

Xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

I hope its OK if I still pop in when there is big buds news, I know I don't fit in anymore but I still want to make sure you all get your babies safely in your arms.

Pooky - double congratulations 

Honor (((HUGS))) - I'm so sorry you didn't get funding. I really hope there is some other way you can try again. I'm glad you and DH are able to do Christmas by yourselves. Us too, although I cancelled it today anyway so its just another weekend in our house.

Love to the rest of you, 
Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - this is as much your home as anyone else's. We've all kept this thread going since June cos we all like chatting to each other and it's not always about lack of babies and babies. I do hope you'll keep stopping by otherwise I may bug the hell out of you with emails! It's not often I find another tall bird! 

I know you're hurting and I wish I could do something more to help you. I know you need time to mourn and we'll be here to support you whenever you need us. Take care.

Love and hugs
Liz xx

Ps - did you get your drugs sorted?


----------



## squirrel2010

Congrats Pooky! Xx
Lynn - fingers crossed xx
Honor - what?! No funding? Rubbish. Any chance of an appeal? So sorry i missed that news xx
Everyone -  
Kat - hang in there. We love you. Please dont ever think you dont belong, you are a lynchpin here xx


----------



## lynn1303

I see this forum as a place for us all to hang out and chat.  Tx is what brought us together not the reason we stay together. We are friends. I agree with squirrel. Kat ur a key figure here and I very selfishly would miss u if u stopped posting. Xx


----------



## Nordickat

Sadly I'm all out of constructive or useful words though so don't have anything to say anymore. I have decided to come of my meds though, I don't really need them anymore. Its going to make me ill for a couple of weeks but so did OHSS and I managed. Then after that I think DH and I will probably go our separate ways. He deserves so much more than I can offer. He is only 40 and the thought of another 40 years stuck with me must be depressing in itself. I'll have to find a new job but I need a change anyway, I need a fresh start, somewhere where nobody knows me and I'm under no obligation to talk to people or see people. I'm better at being a loner than anything else anyway. I guess it sounds drastic but its not really, and its for the best. You have no idea how hard it is to live with somebody like me and it would be selfish of me not to let me DH out of it. Its all worked out for the best really and I think I knew in my heart that I shouldn't be a mum anyway. I'd be so awful at it. Being a terrible wife is one thing but being a terrible mother is a whole other thing.
I'll be about for another couple of days until my body goes into withdrawal ...... thats the hardest part of my whole plan.
Have nice weekend everyone.
Kat


----------



## Twinklie

KAT - you should NOT be making any big decisions right now. Sounds to me that coming off your meds is not a good idea either. And you need to talk to your DH about all of this....


----------



## lynn1303

I agree. Stay on meds til after new year then Speak to ur doc about coming off them gradually. If u suddenly stop u do more damage to urself. This is one thing I know about kat.  Pls pls pls don't stop them. Ur dh loves u. If he didn't he would have left a long time ago. I know what ur thinking though if u love them set them free but he has chosen to spend his life with u in sickness and health. 

Don't make any big decisions just now. Give ur body and mind time to grieve and adjust. 

Big hugs.


----------



## Carey

Morning buds,

I know i dont writ much anymore but i do always read...... this is such a great thread & has helped us all in one way or another.

Kat - hun, please i know its hard for you but try & stay strong. Your DH loves you very much & im sure he doesnt feel like he is being made to stay & is staying in the relationship because he loves you dearly. We are all here for you & will always be xxxx

Pooky - Oh my..... twinnies   how exciting for you.... not long unti your next scan on the 30th bet you are so excited xxx

Twinklie - How are you feeling? Everything all going ok? xxx

Maisiemoo - Hun, big   for you, i hope you are ok & when ever you feel that breakdown coming please log on here & chat to us, we are all here for you xxxx

Honor - Sorry you funding was turned down, its so unfair, have you thought about the next step yet? xxx

Rachel - I hope your ok hun & that 2012 will be a good one for you xxx

Curlyone - Hiya, hope you are ok hun? xx

Ma-me - Hows thing with you hun? Not long before you think about starting your treatment again xx

Lynn - Only a few more days to go before testing.... hope everything is ok     xx

Gladys - How are you & bump? xx

Hanna - Hope you are well? xx

Hello you all you other specail buds xxxxxxxxxxx  

AFM - I have been really well up until few weeks ago, it started off with a cold that i STILL have & CANNOT shift & then I ended up calling the midwife at 6am yesterday morning as i was in alot of pain in my groin & low tummy area, i was the sent to see the doctor & it turns out i have yet another water infection!!! & am on more antibiotics for 5day (2nd one in 5wks) I also have to go & see the physio at the hospital on Monday as it seems that my pubic bones are parting to quickly due to the pressure of the baby & thats what has been causing all the pain..... doctor said that the two bones need to be re alined..... ouch, cant say im looking forward to that. So ive been off work since Tuesday, but hope to go back Tuesday coming. Ive only got 13weks left which i am finding abit strange to get my head around, time has gone so fast.

Chat to you all again soon but for now sending everyone of you lots & lots of love & support always xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Gosh, this christmas has got some of us on the rough seas.....

Lynn - my comment about your clinic was not anything to do about preempting the outcome of your OTD, just that they have all the women they are treating testing at the very last minute, and I just thought they were showing a bit of a 'whatever' attitude by getting all of you to test just before the shut their doors.  Please don't think I meant anything negative for you - have been so worried you may have thought that, and that I'd upset you  . sorry. x

Carey - eeuw to water infection.  A socra occipital chiropractor may be the best for your parted pelvis.  Yes they do put you in some funny positions to click it back in, and you may need to wear a serola belt for the remainder of your pregnancy but, they also do very slight adjustments to do with the flow between the top of your spine and the base of it, and cranial adjustments.  I did mine wheelbarrowing bricks when we renovated our house...  - ow!

kat - sweetiepie, don't beat yourself up, and please don't push your DH away.  The two of you are going through a hard time, and it really is better to support each other than walk away.  I think we all recognise that bit of self-loathing we feel when it doesn't work but throwing off all means of support is really not you Kat.  You are far more of a social butterfly than you think - look at how many friends you have here (for a start), your DH, your work colleagues (including the one who makes you drink too much  ).  Take the time out for you, DH and your lovely puppy to go to the hills and let the healing begin  .....xx

Time for Curly to unburden herself of Sunday's shame, Sunday's unravelling.  We met up with a friend I have been avoiding (the competitive one who has indulged herself in a good bit of bullying of me)...for Sunday lunch.  Marylebone High Street is a lovely place, christmassy enough but without the crowds.  Lunch did not happen, wine did.  As my lovely dad would say, wine is a good servant and a bad master.....We had a lovely time, lots of laughter, some high jinks, then I remember (vaguely) sobbing loudly on her shoulder, then nothing, then DH undressing me for bed, then waking up in an empty house with a bowl next to the bed and no DH or dog..... Turns out he had taken it for it's pee-before-bedtime-walk.  He has not offered any details, and has been banned from doing so, but I know.  This time last year I was full of beans, looking forward to 2011 and becoming a mommy.  This christmas, I am on tablets for my thyroid, have two failed pregnancies behind me, a failed hysteroscopy (hey Mr Dr, how did you miss that wacking great polyp just at the entrance to my uterus?  Huh?), have no job, and am about to start abx's for hidden C!!!!!  As far as I'm concerned, 2011 can leave as soon as, and shut the door behind it on the way out  .

So Kat, when I met DH I had to tell him I wouldn't make him a father, and look he stayed, and has got a 'drunken 'al sot of a wife', and we muddle through.  Your DH loves you, and sometimes it is okay to be a mess, it really is. I'm not belittling where you are at, just saying we all crash sometimes, and sometimes need to hand over the reigns to someone else while we gather our strength again.  

hugs all
From a now abstemious Curly
xx


----------



## Honor77

*Kat*. Only you can really know the full story and what you want to do, but please don't do anything rash . I won't claim to understand what you're going through - it's been a long, hard, painful slog of a journey for you and you always said this last cycle would be the last and the end of the tx road for you. It's only natural that you find yourself reassessing everything and feel the urge to change something. We'd be more worried if you were all "oh, well, better get on with it...". The other Buds all make very good points re. DH. Perhaps there's more to it than we know, perhaps it would be for the best, perhaps it'd be a huge mistake. That's only something you and DH can work out, but I hope that in the meantime you will continue to lean on us as your friends, but also to share in everything else, non-IF related, that friendships involve. I second *Lynn*: it may be selfish, but I'd hate to lose contact with you - you are a lovely person, a wonderful friend and more than worthy of our friendship in return, don't ever doubt it!

*Lynn*: Still hanging in there?! Hope you're doing well and aren't going too insane .

*Curly*: . If you're going to have a mini-breakdown, do it in style . Another baby-deserving Bud, I hope 2012 brings you your dream .

*Carey*: Ohhhhhhhhhhh ouch! Hope it all gets sorted as painlessly as possible .

*Twinklie*: .

*Everyone else*:  too!

*AFM*: Yes, appeal for funding was rejected. Wasn't much of a surprise, was more something I felt I had to try to do. Just wish they weren't such heartless  cowards and gave you more of an explanation/apology than one pathetic tick in a tickbox next to "Does not satisfy the criteria". Actually, I do. The only one I don't satisfy is their "one cycle only" criterion which makes THEM not satisfy NICE criteria, which is what I was pulling them up on in my letter    . -ers.
Counselling went well. She didn't really tell me anything I hadn't already worked out for myself, but it was just good to be able to talk to someone neutral and understanding. I'm going to book a second appointment with her.
On a more positive note, despite still desperately missing my , we have decided to adopt another kitty. Not only do we miss having one around the house, but we want to be able to do for another cat needing a home what we did for Neo. It's not really the right time of year to be after a kitten, but we want a male kitten again and both the rescue place we got Neo from and the Cats Protection (who did a home-check on us today) know we're looking for one and will let us know if they get any in. So,  we won't have to wait too long to be mama and papa to a fur baby again!

Love to all,
xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds- hope you are all warm on this grey day. 

Honor - Im glad you are feeling a bit better and getting another cat.  I keep toying with the puppy idea myself.xx

Curly - Wise words as always, xx

Kat sending you   
afm still awaiting the xmas cheer had a little cry last night in bed next to hubby which is very unusal but always a good thing , im hoping that saddness will replace some anger i have had and i can move forward.


----------



## Nordickat

thankfully I have some wonderful stalkers on this site and one has reminded me of a few things today and may just have saved my life (  and thank you with all my heart if you are still stalking   and I plan to celebrate your BFP in Jan and not need to return the favour   ). I have medication again and will continue with it. I think I looked such a wreck at the surgery this afternoon, no shower, hair unbrushed, had just stomped 6km to get there and my ragamuffin mutt was tied up outside, while I was begging like some junkie and they just wanted me out the door quick and caved in. Jury still out on other stuff but I have medication now and will take it. I also have post-it notes in crucial places to try and stop me doing stupid things like leaving and reminding me I love my DH dearly - I don't know what else to do.

Honor - I'm glad the counsellor helped. Sometimes you don't need to be told anything, you just need somebody to listen   And a another fur baby will make Christmas lovely again   

Carey - having your pubic bones put back doesn't hurt honestly. Mine pop out a couple of times a year due my a prolapse and unstable pelvis. Having it out of place is a killer but putting it back is such a relief.

Curly - 2012 can only be better than 2011   

Thank you all for not judging (or if you do, for doing it quietly) and I'm sorry for earlier. I have no recollection of what I wrote and have no plans to scroll down   . 

love, crack pot kat


----------



## Honor77

*Kat*: SO, SO glad you are still on the meds. A very wise decision. And hurrah for stalkers!
I'm sure no one is judging you - we've all been there to some degree at some point one way or the other - we're just concerned for you and want to do anything we can to help.
Are you still planning to head for the hills for that-December-time-festival-that-shall-not-be-named? I hope so, I think it'd do you a world of good to be away from the everydayness of home and work to spend some quality time with your lovely DH and pooch.
I know you might not be in the right mood for it, but just let me know whenever you do fancy a Skype chat.

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Ah ladies, thank you for your hugs - I'm honestly fine, it's been the icepacks to cool my embarrassed blushes that have been needed...  Fortunately, the only photos put on ******** were of the highjinks, not weeping and wailing.  I'm a tough old boot and if I don't skit myself DH will, and somehow we'll find the humour and irony in our situation... even if it will be a bit sick.

Kat - thank god for stalkers (on here anyway)...As Honor says, head for the hills with DH and pooch, and let the world carry on as it will.....it will still be here when you get back xxx

Honor - It really galls me that someone is sitting making arbitrary decisions about who does and does not get tx, and it's all based on postcode, and nothing about the many and varied forms of infertility.  Can you write to the Chief Exec, what about Andrew Tansley (he is health minister isn't he?. Is there a PM 's online petition? I'm so pleased you are getting a new fur baby.  It's no substitute for being a mummy but there is something so simplistic about their affection 'I like you so I am going to sit on you and snuggle, and run to you when you come in the door'.   sweetie, you'll get there. xx

Rachel - Cor, you really are a little trooper.  I so admire you.  and there is nothing wrong with tears every now and again (otherwise I'm sure pressure builds up in your sinuses  ).  So, maybe a puppy hey?  I suppose, get crimbo out of the way, settle DS into new nursery, and see what 2012 can offer you....a puppy is always nice though.

hugs

Curlyone
x


----------



## Honor77

Oh Buds, what is this peculiar feeling? Why I do believe it's happiness! A visit from The Kitten Lady II, the first normal conversation with my mum for weeks and erm... a couple of glasses of wine (for a lightweight) later and this is the first time in over a month that I'm not in tears, on the verge of tears or having worrying chest pains! Just hope it lasts post-alcohol... 
Am missing you all so much and wishing I wa sharing wine with you (or non-alcoholic beverages with my pregnant Buds). I vote for a new year meet-up in January!

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Wow...... Today has gone full circle. Kat , I'm do glad you've got the nedication and no more rash decisions. You deserve DH as he does you and you will be a fab mum. I hope and pray you manage to get over this and move forward and who knows what the future will bring. Please don't give up hope. And here's a slap on the back of the hand for being naughty Kat!!!!!   

Honor- I think a new kitty will be the best medicine. Fab idea x

Well what a poop year for some of us and yet what fab years for others. It gives me hope, it's just not been our time yet ladies. Had my follow up today. Doc was very honest and said its quality of eggs and low reserve and he explained I'm unlikely to get much of a different result anywhere ( ie egg number ) . He also told me if a few other treatments I'd get private ... So they are still an option. DH got very upset and my lack if emotion has shown me I'm not dealing with this. Perhaps eventually I will. 

More   to Kat and hello to everyone xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

nice one honor enjoy it xx

thanks curlyone I admire you too xx

dear maise sorry to hear your news from clinic, hope you can let out your emotions soon xx

not sure about meet in january honor but up for party with maise, if we are all invited! x


----------



## 1972

Evening buds

I'm up for new year meet and my 40th party is sat 25th feb. all buds welcome


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Well, the alcohol-happiness quickly wore off and left me in a bad mood . Luckily, all was saved yesterday by a trip to the seaside! We had a lovely day and it did me the world of good .

Hope everyone is doing ok - especially our PUPO girl *Lynn*?!?! - and let's definitely organise a meet-up for the new year! I'm happy to "host" in Bristol, i.e. drag you all on a tour around and find somewhere for us to eat! Anytime, by the way, for anyone who fancies it!

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Hi girlies. 

Honor I'm so glad ur getting a new fur baby. Fx it's soon soon soon. 

Kat how r u feeling today. 

Well buds I had an awful evening. Just as I went to toilet b4 bed last night I went for a pee. Tmi coming up.  When I wiped there was deep red blood on tissue. Also blood on the water. I was so upset. Dh knew something was wrong but I didn't want to tell him as I didn't want to upset him. I was devastated. I've never made it this far b4. Af due tomorrow. When I got up this morning. Nothing. I wiped and a tiny bit of brown but nothing else. My head is wasted. I'm niteshift tonight so won't be able to test til tomorrow nite - if I last that long. 

Would a hpt show an accurate result 2weeks post trigger shot? Coz my clinic say not to test til af 5 days late but I've to test on 22 coz they r closing. Which is only 3 days late. I wonder if I can manage not to pee all through my shift tonight whether I could get an accurate result tomorrow am. Again if bleeding doesn't restart. Wtf is that all about. 

Hi to all my super buds. Squirrel curly Maisie Rachael Karen twinkle Carey pooky hanna dee mame. 

Big hugs.


----------



## Twinklie

Lynn -     

We all hate going around waiting for AF NOT to start, and the dreadful feeling when you first see a sign of it... Keep in mind that a lot of women who get a BFP bleed around the time they would have got AF, so it doesn't have to mean anything. That's what happened to me, and it lasted for a couple of days (also proper red and in the water).

14 days after trigger you won't get a false positive. But you could get a false negative as it's still early. It's really up to you. I always preferred to test early to "prepare" for OTD, but a lot of people think you shouldn't test early and just try to enjoy being PUPO.

Whatever you decide, I have everything crossed that you will get two lines when you do test!


----------



## Honor77

*Lynn*: Am  it's nothing to worry about. Like *Twinklie* says, bleeding doesn't necessarily mean BFN, so please don't lose out hope yet. I know it's going to be hard though until you can test and know for sure. I'm not really sure what to suggest re. when to test... Perhaps the other Buds can better advice you. Thinking of you .

Hi *Twinklie* . Hope you're doing well .

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Thanks honor. I'm not really sure I'll get to test tomorrow never mind another date. Just been to loo and seen more brown stuff. I'm an optimist but I know it's doomed. I'm not lucky enough for a miracle never mind an extra special Xmas miracle. :-(


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Lynn*,

Am logged on to Skype if you want to chat?

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Lynn sweetie, you are lucky enough for a miracle because you are trying for a miracle, as is everyone who tries to have a baby.  Please believe that this could be your time. xx I'll keep checking the thread and hoping for good news from you before christmas (a little crimbo present for us all). x

Honor - I'm so sorry that your happy little glow has gone.  I do believe, once crimbo has gone and 2011 has been kicked into the past a veil will be lifted and we can look forward with fresh eyes.  Keep with it sweetie  . xx

Maisie - well at least your Dr seems to think there are some other treatments you could get if you go private - at least he is giving you some positive (even if it does mean more money - grr  ).  Sounds like a plan; your buds cheering you into the 40's!

Rachel - hi. x

Phew, have been to 3 christmas 'do's' this weekend, and none have descended into a tear fest.  Hurrah! Maybe last weekend got it out of my system  .xx

love 

Curlyone
xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello darling buds.
Just a quickie - so sorry not long post just now but need a good hour to sit and go through all the posts and do proper chat to you all. Just to say huge amounts of hugs to those that need it, keep strong lynn and kat and maisie and honor. Think so much of you girlies, and will buck up my posting to prove it to you all. Curly, rachel, twinklie, carey, dee, everyone -   xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## lynn1303

hey girlies

still having this brown stuff.  not liking it one bit.  gonna try not go to loo from midnight til about 6 and i'll try testing.  I know what you are saying about bleeding and still getting bfp i just think i'm that lucky but will keep you all posted.  this is gonna be the longest niteshift in the history of my nites.  

sweet dreams buds when they come.

xxx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds

Lynn- any news, did you test?

Honor- I could do Bristol but would have to be far enough in advance to get a cheap ticket. Last time I went there was about 90 quid! Hope you are feeling but happier? I'm looking firearms to Christmas , time iff work, spending time with DH, but not looking forward to new year...

Curly- enjoy Xmas do's. Mine was tomorrow and it's cancelled . Business critical work, they will take us out in new year instead.... Hmmmm. Not the same . Treatments would involve going on pill, scrapping my womb lining and a saline sonogram or something. We are tempted by options and realisticallg can't afford ARGC , just got to get 6.5k !!!!

 to everyone xxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Did test at 5. Couldn't hold pee in any longer. Bfn. I don't know if I left it long enough. So even though I'm not feeling positive I don't feel I'm out the game yet. Still no af but lovely brown stuff still there. I don't know whether I'm setting myself up for a fall or just want to Live in denial. Xxxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Lynn, I hope you are having a good sleep after your nightshift, and I hope your result changes.  Will be thinking of you.   x

Maisie - I feel for you.  would you look abroad and see if it is cheaper? Saline sonogram is supposed to show up the things a normal ultrasound misses without being as invasive as a hysteroscopy (i.e. being anaesthetised). It's another one of those that is prohibitively expensive in this country but one of the girls from my old clinic got it done at Serum, and they found a number of things that had been missed before, and she's now pg.  Their suggestions at this point for you, however does have to beg the question 'why are not at least 2 of the suggested treatments done as par for the course during your free treatment?'.  

Honor - I think Bristol could be a go-er - I would have to be bringing in the pennies again though so, maybe spring?

hugs all other buds.

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Honor77

*Lynn*. Definitely test again in a few days, you may well just have tested too early .

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Did another test at 3pm. Still negative. Im upset. Couldn't get back to sleep phoned hubby. He's at his mums. I asked him to come home he said no he has a few bits and bobs to do for his mum. It took me all my effort not to cry on phone he must've been able to tell I was upset. He knew I was to test today but I think he forgot. Either that or he doesn't want to hear what I've got to say. 

I can't believe I've not slept today and I still have 3 nights to go. Oh it's ginna be fun. Xx


----------



## 1972

Oh Lynn, I'm so sorry to hear that   sounds like you need to have a little break as that's 2 disappointments in a short space in time. Take it easy and look after yourself. Tell DH you need a huge big hug xx

Curly- the nhs fund the bare minimum but I get what you mean. Why waste 18k on 3 goes when a bit extra on one may have helped. Still, I'm very grateful to have the funding, it gave me 3 more goes than we could afford. Hope you are ok. Enjoy your Xmas do's  

Big hugs to squirrel, Kat and Karen if you are loitering. 

Hi to pooky, you've gone very quiet xxx

Hi to D , hope master bump is treating you well. 

Catch up soon xxxx

Ps can I also apologise for my poop typos and spelling. Bloody iPhone!!


----------



## Pookychops

Evening ladies,

Lynn -   brown stuff is horrible as its neither here nor there. I'm hoping that you have just tested a bit early, but if not, thinking of you and not long now until 2012 and a fresh start.

Kat - I hope you're feeling a bit better now. Sending you  

Maisie - its good that the hospital gave you some constructive feedback. They should have really done that with you before your last cycle and they could have done a bit more for you. Thinking of you too and hope you're ok. You will deal with everything when your are ready to!

Honor - get two kitties, get two kitties! Any news on dh's job application yet? 

Hello to everyone else  

AFM - morning sickness has been bad in the evenings and so not been up to posting. I've had a bit of brown discharge over the weekend and lots of tweaks around the belly. So went to the gp this morning and am going to the epu tomorrow for another scan and check up to see what is going on. Fingers crossed it will be ok. I've been a wee bit stressed about it all and dh is away with work tonight. He's getting the early train back tomorrow morning so he can come to the hospital with me. I just hope my little bubbas are ok in there.


----------



## lynn1303

Aw pooky I pray everything is ok for u. I'm so glad ur dh will be with u tomorrow. Take it easy. Feet up. 

Honor I agree with pooky. 2 kitties all the way. They keep each other company. 

Well I'm still in limbo. Shall see what tomorrow brings. Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Lynn -   I think you are testing to early. Brown spotting really doesn´t mean its over at all. Hang in there and I hope things change in a couple of days.


Pooky -   Sounds like your body is just adjusting to the 2 beans in there but I´m glad you get to see them again today   .


 To everyone else.


Sorry for not posting much but I´m in such a different place to the rest of you now and I know none of you get it at all, and I hope with all of my heart that none of you are ever in a position to understand either. Even I didn´t bank on it being this hard and I knew it was coming. I´m not just grieving this BFN, I´m grieving all 16 of the babies I let go too, especially Ben&Jerry who stuck around long enough for me to love them and believe in them. I don´t think I´m going to just dust myself down and come back. I don´t have the same hope that the rest of you are living on. Thats my journey over. The End! I willl never hear anyone call me mum, I´ll never be a granny, I´ll never be part of your world. That hurts like crazy and I have no idea how I am supposed to make it go away and ´move on´(whatever that is supposed to mean?). The life I have now is the life I will haev forever, and trust me, thats a pretty depressing thought   . I know you all think I´m just going to feel better, but how? I know I´d probably have been a sh1t mother but I would have tried harder than anyone to get it right and I´m so upset that I´ll never have the chance to try. As its too early for tears I´ll sign off now, but thats the reason I don´post anymore, its because you want something I can´t give. I can´t say things are better and I don´t know how they ever will be. Its a lonely place but I really do hope with all of my might that none of you ever some over to this side to keep me company. Its a truly horrid dark lonely place to be  .


Love as always, 
 Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Oh Kat honey, I'm so sad you are feeling like this. Of course it's normal and inevitable. You are grieving and of course sad and it will take time. I do understand how you feel, I have one more chance maximum and i'm ignoring the thoughts you are having as I've had the same. I often worry I will be in the same situation but I ignore it for now. 

You are an original bud Kat and please don't think you can't post here or comment. We all appreciate your comments and like to just hear you are ok and hope we can help. Please give yourself time as its so raw now. This is a normal reaction, but it will ease and it may always be there but you will find a way to cope. 

Please don't punish yourself and let yourself get too bad. We are here for  you and hope you stick around. 

Please don't think we don't understand as some of us are so much closer to your situation than you think, we are just good at covering it up. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx  

Good luck today pooky xxx

Afm.... As I said above, I'm not really doing ok. I'm getting very snappy with DH and so angry about everything- short fuse at work and having go at DH about nothing. I'm getting physical symptoms, I've put on loads of weight which is always a sign I'm unhappy as I'm eating crap. My skin is awful, I've developed scaly patches on my head that are itchy and weep and similar on my legs. It's a deffo depressed/ stressed reaction for me and I feeIl like I'm on a bit of a spiral. I need to get this out but I'm not sure how . I can't cry , im just burying head and waiting for this miracle that's new year... But of course that will make no diff! I'll be ok , just need to get myself out this hole and look forward. Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat -   have you looked at the more to life support network. They are part of infertility uk. Worth a look and they will be able to provide you with the support you need. I wish I could make your pain go away I truly do. 

Maisie - have you got any more counselling or hypno sessions booked? The anger after a failed cycle is so hard to deal with. I just wanted to cry all the time with my last one and I always have an urge to run - trying to escape I think. Does dh know why you are snapping at him? Have you sat down and talked about it? That always helped me and dh. I'm sure you'll be triggered into dealing with your grief soon, probably at the most inappropriate moment though - well that's how it always worked for me but you may we be different. 

Big hugs to you both. I'm thinking of you. Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - you have no idea how much I'm hoping your next go works out for you. Go for the endo scratch by the way as its showing really positive results. And try and push the 'what if it doesn't work' thoughts as far to the back of your mind as possible. I thought I knew how it was going to feel to stop but I was so so wrong which means all that thinking about it and preparing myself for the end was just wasted time being sad when I should have been trying to feel positive and enjoying the hope I still had left. Keep that hope for you next cycle at the front of your mind. Maybe you should go for some counselling or to see your hypno lady again just to refocus and vent a little. I might do you the world of good. And go back and read the email you sent me - it applies to you too     

I wasn't at all prepared for the empty, hopeless despair. I have managed to stop myself crying every time the tears have crept up on my but today on the bus I was sat working out how many more time I have to make the same bus journey in before I die. It makes me so desperately sad to think that this is my life and I nearly couldn't hold the tears in. I have reached my pinnacle and its sh1t. Every day for the next 40 years will be the same for me how truly [email protected] is that!
 Thats my other reason for not posting - I really have nothing good to say.

Now I have to go and refocus - I have a meeting with my boss to her her how rubbish she is and she is hardly going to take me seriously unless I can plaster on some kind of 'gives a sh1t really' face.

Katxxx


----------



## Nordickat

And while I'm on a woe-is-me roll   , I may as well mention the fact the my OHSS is still causing me huge amounts of pain so every step I take reminds me of my failings. It was so bad up until Sunday that I actually did another pg test to rule out ectopic. My boobs have finally stopped hurting though so maybe I'm o the road to recovery at last. I think its just bruised my insides a little   

Pooky - I used to be part of More to Life after our adoption stopped and we had no plans for more IVF. I've been browsing it again but its so quiet on there. I will move to the 'moving on' boards after my frostie is gone but I know it would be insensitive to go over there now when I have something (however pointless) that some of those people can only dream of.

Over and out and I promise no more from me today!


----------



## Honor77

*Lynn*: . I bet you're at the stage now that you just want to know either way. Hope tomorrow brings you the answer you want and so deserve .

*maisie*: Your iphone spelling is making me ! Wish how you're feeling right now could also make me ... It's crap, isn't it? Not knowing how next to proceed. It's great that you're thinking of trying again and are looking at options.  2012 is your year. In the meantime, let me know if you ever fancy a Skype chat. Can't guarantee I'll be able to cheer you up, but am definitely here to listen anytime .

*Pooky*:  everything's ok with the little ones at your scan today. I'm sure it's all just your body adjusting though - it's going to be going through some major changes to fit the 2 of them in and provide for them! Let us know how you got on as soon as you can .
2   isn't an option, and to be honest, I'd rather have just the one. Just wish someone had one for us RIGHT NOW!!!

*Kat*: . I know there's nothing any of us can say to change your situation for the better for you, as much as we all wish with all our hearts we could . You're right, no one can understand what it must be like. We love you as a friend for more than tx, babies, children though, so it'd be lovely if you were able to feel able to keep in touch .
I know I'm not really in the same place, but I also worry and panic "is this it?" - we have no plans for more tx and it scares me sh!tless that it's just never going to happen. And mainly because of b!oody money... (because even by the time we CAN afford it, there are no guarantees tx will work for us). DH's job situation is worrying - it's been nearly 2 years and I'm very much feeling like we're in a big hole that we won't be able to get out of until he gets a job. I don't want to just plod on literally making ends meet on my (not exactly secure) wage and unable to do anything we want to do: more tx, buy a house, even get a car and go on holiday, for  sake. Constantly living on hope, only to get that hope shattered at every turn .
Sorry... rant over!! I had quite a difficult evening last night...

*AFM*: Am going to try and get back into being a better poster again. I've only scrolled back as far as my last post this time though, so sorry for anyone I've missed out. 
 for everyone.

xxx


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## Twinklie

Kat, Lynn, Maisie, Honor and anyone else who might need it -         I hope you end up having a lovely, relaxing Christmas and can go into next year with renewed energy and hope.

Pooky - I've heard so many times that it's incredibly common to have spotting or even bleeding when you're carrying twins. Apparently it can go on for a long time as well, even if everything is just fine. Hope you get some reassurance today.

AFM - all going well, got my doppler yesterday and heard the heartbeat. Although the first heartbeat DH found (I let him do it) was actually mine, which I had to point out to him. Bless him, he was so excited that he managed to find it so quickly.   But then he managed to find the baby's heartbeat as well, so all good in the end.

Hope all buds have a nice day!


----------



## Pookychops

Thanks twinklie   no more blood today just some odd pains. It's all so unknown and I'm just hoping everything is ok. My sister in law is a midwife so I've had a few chats with her about it all. She recommend that I went to the EPU as she said it would be the only way to set my mind at rest and she's right.


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## Nordickat

I just snivelled my way through my meeting - very professional  .

Honor -     You have to have hope, without it there is nothing, keep hoping. No there is no guarantee tx will work but we have to try for as long as we can, for as long we have funds or the strength to keep going. I wish they could tell us if it will work or not so we can just walk away if there is no chance of success. I hope things turn around for you soon. I hope your financial woes are solved somehow so you can at least live instead of watching the world go by. I know we are not in the same place but I think some of the feelings of fear are the same. Fear of what the future holds, of how we can turn it into something good when the one thing we want it missing. I have no idea how to turn off that need to be a mum. I hate the feeling of stagnating while life goes on around me. I am luckier than you, my loony status means that sometimes I am completely disassociated from feelings. It horrid to look at my DH and feel nothing, to read this thread and feel nothing, but at the same time its almost a relief to have a break from the heartache. Sometimes feeling nothing is better than feeling something. Another strange relief that will make no sense to anyone probably, is getting cold. Sometimes I really like the feeling of getting freezing cold because its nice to feel something that isn't a broken heart. Are you around this week in the evenings? I'll look out for you on Skype. I can cheer you up I promise. I come with a guarantee unlike tx  . I will make you smile and I will make you feel so much less lonely out there. As for meeting up in Bristol - you have a date. Next time we are passing along the M4 we are coming in for coffee and cake   . Hang in there Honor. You really don't know what the future holds and I feel your journey is not over yet.

Everyone else - maybe too much sad talk from the heart shouldn't be on here but you'll just have to skip it if you don't want to read it. 

 Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Ladies, I'll take good or bad news. I'll celebrate with our pg buds and feel sad with the not so lucky ones. That's why we are here to support through good and bad. 

I can't confirm there will be another go for me. I have low egg reserve and almost 40. My chances are very low. I could find 6 grand but that would mean DH and I can't buy a house and that's our plan for 2012. If things don't work out I want to be settled and that means moving, right now I can't do both. This is my dilemma. My parents inheritance should come through in jan but they've not been forthcoming in offering any money so I can't presume they will. My desire to settle and have something to focus on is stronger than the 10% or less chance I have of things working g - this is what keeps going round and round. I hate my job, DH is self employed so we have to be careful re money.  I'm too sensible to say sod it..... Need to wait til jan, see how much parents get and how much they offer. Then make decisions . 

Sorry to everyone if I'm dragging things down- me and Kat between us. What a mare! Lol. I still have hope for miracles, winning lottery, Getting a huge windfall and one day having a baby. Slowly though I worry none of the above will happen!


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie and Honor - shall we run away? I know a lovely cabin on the side of a mountain  . The only things that pass by are moose and hares - no happy families, no Santa. We can drink wine, eat chocolate and cake, and work out where you 2 are going to get enough money to try again while we work out what the bl00dy hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life   .


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## Pookychops

Hi, scan showed that everything ok and two little hearts are still beating  they spotted a bleed on the scan but said that it was nothing to worry about and quite normal. I know all of this anyway but it's good to have the reassurance. 

I also like that dh turned up reeking of alcohol from the night before! I had to drive with the windows open as the smell of him made me feel sick   if he still smells tonight he can sleep in the front room!


----------



## Nordickat

pooky - we all knew you'd be fine   . One of the great thing about twins is that you get loads of extra scans


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## 1972

I'm up for running away  

Great news pooky xxx


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## Nordickat

Just let me know your flight number and I'll meet you at the airport Maisie   Pack warm though, our thermometers haven't gone over zero for over a week now. The cabin was -2 when we arrived on Friday ........ indoors that is ........ -10 outdoors


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## 1972

Kat- do you not have a cabin in Bahamas or Dubai or somewhere?!?!?! -2 inside!!!!!im cold sat here with central heating on


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## Nordickat

We don't even have central heating in our house   . I have an extensive collection of marino wool vests and pants though   
Our record is -15 inside when we arrive at the cabin and that is chuffing cold! Its bracing and refreshing and good for you maisie - you'd love it   . We are going to our company ski cabin tomorrow and that has heating and a sauna if that is more appealing?


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## squirrel2010

Hello my lovely ladies,

Kat - dont ever feel bad for posting sad or bad thoughts and honest thoughts on this thread. You might not believe it, but we want to hear it. I do anyway. I want to know how you are feeling, even if it is a dark place you are in, because you are a special friend. Can i run away with you, maisie and honor?! Wine, chocolate, cake, cabin, no sign of babies etc sounds ideal! When we going?! Can i bring my skiis?! I am trying to understand all of your posts etc, and be there if I can. Same as the other buds. So dont leave the thread. Please! Will email more xx

Maisiemoo - i hear you angel. Sometimes everything ahead just looks like too many hurdles to leap. I wish I could tell you it will all be ok. For now, am joining you in the denial stakes, and we will reassess in the New Year. For now, find yourself again, and be kind to it! I have been a total and utter biatch to my DH for the entire year, so you are not alone in feeling that side of things aint 100%. He loves you. So do we. Step back, let yourself grieve a little bit when you can, and dont be frightened if it all suddenly comes out when you least expect it. We will be here xx

Honor - two kitties, two kitties! Really do feel for you, and again - need my non existant magic wand to create opportunities for you and your dh. You never know what may come up, but I know that is no consolation now. I hate the financial constraints of this process, it makes it seem so elitist and as if we havent got enough to worry or be upset about?! Huge amounts of good luck for dh job searching. You are due some good fortune my lovely. Bristol meeting - count me in. Big hugs xx

Pooky - glad scans all reassuring. I believe this can be your time. One step at a time and take it easy. Lots of love xx

Twinklie - glad all going well your end xx

Lynn - not sure when actual OTD is, but i am praying and hoping still for you. I hate you are going through this so soon after last time, and i am sending huge hugs. Let us know how you are? Any more spotting? Do you test again or do you need bloods? Thinking of you xx

Everyone - i know this thread at the moment is sad. I can feel my heart breaking all over again for everyone, and sometimes I just dont know how it keeps on mending. I think one day it wont. I feel so sad for each of you undergoing such traumas, and i just wish there was something more that i could do. I suppose i want to say that everyone who feels sad, should say exactly what they are feeling, and not feel bad for it. That is the whole point of us being here for each other. The lowest times, and the happy times - damn their infrequent visits to us! My woes are trivial at this time - limbo land sucks, family gushing over my impending twin sisters birth, more friends giving birth, more friends announcing happy pregnancies, stinking cold, hrt playing havoc with me, beautiful young dog died on my operating table, feel useless, being a biatch to dh, frightened of the new year as i am literally terrified of joining the ivf train again. In a nutshell. Usual crap! I know each of us have different woes, and different paths and different mind sets - but i want the same thing for you all. Happiness in whatever way possible. I just wish I could tell each of you how. I wish I could figure it out myself! 
For now i love you all, and am lucky to have you in my life. Thank you to each of you for making 2011 a little easier. Love a slightly melancholy squirrel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hear hear squirrel , well said. Sending you big hugs. 

I think I'm going to have to visit kats company chalet, I can't be doing with no heating inside   and I hate skiing. But I like chocolate and cake and wine, so I will stay home and bake all day for when you get back!


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## Nordickat

It sleeps 8 so room for all of us hurting right now. Ski trips always need a cake baker and sauna lighter    And the view is to die for so you don´t need to go out in the cold to appreciate the peace and stillness of it all Maisie. Oh and its free, did I mention that bit


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## squirrel2010

Free?! When can we come?! Tomorrow?! I could still be the resident lush. And i make a mean hot water bottle.... Xx


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## Nordickat

From tomorrow until 25th December. Save your hot water bottle making skills for 26th December when we move to our own slightly less sofisticated shed as opposed to chalet!


----------



## lynn1303

Count me in kat. 

The witch arrived in full flow. I came to work tonight to find out one of my colleagues wives were pg. they were all giving me the I'm so sorry look. Apparently they guessed it didn't work coz I lOok awful pale tired and haggard.  That's them being nice. Lol


----------



## Big hat

Lynn I am so, so sorry sweetie, and can only send you lots and lots of hugs      . xxxxx


----------



## Carey

Lynn - Sending you lots of love &   right now.... im so sorry xxxxxxx

Hi to everyone else xxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi Lynn, I'm sorry   hope you can get through Christmas and homanay and then review options in new year. 

Bugger off 2011!

I've got 2 more days at work . Day of peace Friday, then the inlaws arrive   I had to tell them that they have to go boxing day as we need our time. They wanted to stay longer. Er, no!

So alas, I won't be able to run away just yet. Maybe in new year, stay in hiding until my birthday  

Honor- let's get a date fixed for next meet, something to look forward too. Xx


----------



## Nordickat

Lynn. I´m so so sorry. I hope you don´t have too many shifts coming up so you get some time together to love each other and be Mr&Mrs Lynn for a while, time to remember who you were before IF came along and ruined it all. Thinking of you lots   


I will probably have run already by the new year but I´ll let you know where I´m hiding Lynn, Squirrel, Maisie and Honor ........ and anyone else who is seeking solitude and peace   


Love to everyone, 
Katxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Lynn - So sorry    

Kat - Count me in cabin in spirit it sounds fabx

Love to you all

Dxx


----------



## lynn1303

Thanks buds. Kat I think u have a good plan there. We started our ttc journey as soon as we were married. Silly us thought a honeymoon baby would be perfect so we haven't actually had a married life together if that makes sense. We never make plans as we don't know if I'll be pg or not. I feel like one day I'll wake up and find my life has gone without ever living it. My new year resolution. Get a life!!! 

Xx


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## Twinklie

Lynn -     

I'm sure we can all relate to what you say about not being able to make plans... But this is a short time of your life even if it feels looooong right now. Will it be IVF for you next? Success rates are so much higher and I know of plenty of people who had several failed IUIs and then had a successful IVF cycle first time. One of my best friends is one of them and her son is almost two now. I'm sure 2012 will be the year for you!

Take care of your self honey


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Thanks for your messages, *Kat* . What you said about hating the feeling of stagnating while life goes on around you hit the nail on the head for how I feel. It's like everyone is whizzing by, all smiley and happy, without a care in the world (although I'm also well aware that no one has a "perfect" life...) while I'm stuck in the middle of it all, knee deep in slodge and unable to move .
I'd love to run away to a Norwegian cabin, but can't afford it . Like *Maisie*, though, I'm very much a stay-in-the-warmth type of girl, and I certainly wouldn't be venturing out to ski or hike or anything remotely sporty !
I've just made the connection between your profile pic. and the fact you have a dog - is this your dog?

*Maisie*: How are you today? I loved what you wrote in one of your posts yesterday about taking the good and the bad and being there to support each other, whether it be to celebrate or console . In which case, young lady, none of this "dragging things down" nonsense !
You're right, we need to come up with a plan to meet up again, to give us something to look forward to . If it's easier for most, I'm happy to meet in London again?

*Pooky*: Fab news on your scan yesterday . So glad it was able to put your mind at ease. You did the right thing getting checked out when you have been through so much to get this far and obviously already love your babies and want to do your best by them . Not too much longer until your next one!

*Squirrel*: Good to hear from you . Sorry you're also feeling low . When is your sister due? Is there any chance you could get away for a few days around that time to perhaps "do your duty" as new aunty (and in fact, you may well find all the fear and upset you've experienced throughout her pregnancy disappears as if by magic when your new niece or nephew is actually here), but to make sure you have time and space to deal with it however best you can?
Thanks for your kind words and good wishes . DH seems to be getting more interest in his CV from places in Germany. As you and the others know, I'm not overly keen on a move over there, but am more than willing to do so if it means he has a good job to go to. The problem is, most he seems to be getting a response from (some via agencies) are not what I consider "secure" jobs - they're ones where he'd be on temporary contracts and not necessarily guaranteed more work or would entail him/us having to move around a lot, even having to live apart a fair bit of the time (including with him in another country). I'm not the kind of person who can do that, especially not if it were to mean living on my own for a lot of the time somewhere I don't even want to be - I don't cope very well without him around when he's on a very, very rare occassion away for a few days! Plus I am sick to the back teeth of our lack of family security, yes financially, but more so in terms of not having been able to settle down properly in a permanent home and have a family. I'm now tieing myself in knots over whether we can go the distance when the odds seem stacked so highly against us - if anything were to come of one of these temporary or part-working-abroad jobs, I feel I can't stand in his way but equally that I wouldn't be able to live like that. 
Loved your closing line: perfect . Getting to know my *Buds* has certainly been the silver lining in an otherwise very, very dark cloud .

*Lynn*:      So, so sorry.... I'd been SO hoping this was your time... And what awful timing of the work colleague's announcement to boot . Are you having any time off over Christmas and/or New Year? I hope you won't have to work too much and instead can spend some quality time with DH.

Hi to *Carey*, *Curly*, *Dee*, *Twinklie* and everyone else .

Off to Christmas shop this afternoon and dinner out with some local FFers. Better stick on the happy face .

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Happy Winter Solstice .......... things can only get brighter from here


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies,

I've not been on FF for ages. I just wanted to forget about IVF and everything for a while after what happened to us. I was sorry to miss the get-together in November, though. I was on call at work! 

I hope you'll allow me to join the gang again 

I'll attempt a few personals but such a lot has happened so please forgive me if I forget someone.

Pooky - congratulations to you, hun! I am so pleased for you. Two as well - how exciting! Glad your recent scan was OK.

Twinklie - wow - congrats to you too.

Honor - I am so sorry that your funding appeal was not successful. It doesn't seem fair. I hope you are able to find another way.

Carey - hope you are doing well. 

Lynn - I am really sorry about your 

Oh Kat - I am so sorry you're in a sad place right now. I really hope you stick around. I don't feel as though there is anything clever I can say but I do get where you are coming from because I often wonder if it'll never happen for me. (And if that's the case I would have preferred never to have got pregnant at all because it just makes it harder).

Maisie - I found myself being snappy too where it was totally unjustified. And I felt angry (still do) when I see mothers going down the street with pushchairs etc. 

Squirrel - hugs to you. I'm scared of the next cycle too. 

Got a horrible feeling there's someone I've missed, so if so, apologies.  

AFM - I am gearing up to start our second cycle of ICSI in January. After the miscarriage we went on holiday (in October), which was lovely. We let off some lanterns for the twins we had lost and the embryo that never made it. My husband has been amazing; sometimes I feel I don't deserve him. I got another job, working in the same organisation and for the same money but much better suited to me - I really enjoy it. The past couple of weeks have been a bit difficult. Three of my friends became parents for the first time and one had her second. Another is expecting in February and last week another announced she was pregnant. We are not a big group and actually there are now only three of us who are not pregnant or mothers. With the other two it's only because they're single so I worry that one day they'll have babies too and I never will, and I'll lose touch with everyone because I cannot relate to the conversations. I did have a good chat with one of my single friends the other day about how we feel everyone's in a club and we're not invited. She gets all of those feelings and shares them, although it's for a different reason. 

Although our 'main' problem is male factor, I had to have my bloods redone the other month and the results were not good. AMH (which was normal before) is now lower than it should be and (FSH) also normal before is now higher than it should be.  

So we are going to do short protocol and at maximum dose of Menopur. Oddly enough, since the miscarriage my periods have become regular so I think we will be starting on or around January 18. I feel there is a lot riding on it because it's our last funded go. We don't have the cash for a private attempt, although my parents have offered to lend us money, which is incredibly generous. I really want it to work next time but at the same time I don't think I could handle the pain of a BFP that turns into a BFN again. Would rather just get a BFN.

Had an interesting chat with our consultant about alcohol - we had almost totally abstained in the run-up to the first cycle (apart from a few odd pints in isolation here and there) but he said not to worry too much as long as you are not going crazy (their guideline is no more than 5 units a week). So I think I might drink something over Christmas but I won't go crazy. Actually we've said we'll have a bottle of wine on New Year's Eve. I am sure it won't make a difference. I never drink when the drugs have started, though.


----------



## Big hat

Well Kat, I'm packed - I've got me jummy, me thermal socks, and me bottle of port - what time does the plane leave? (and does Norway, with it's bizarre import rules, allow Port in through customs?)

Ladies, what I love about this thread, and what makes you all so special is that one page can have so many emotions expressed on it, people are commiserated with or applauded on the one post and it is all heartfelt. Sometimes, instead of giving yourself a hard time, you should give yourself a pat on the back for being rather selfless friends. x

Mrs Ixy - I really hope that this change in your cycle means that some good can come of something awful, and that your next cycle is the one .

Squirrel - so sorry the dog died on the operating table.  You are a very special person doing such a caring and wonderful job.  I know I couldn't do it. DH will understand.  My advice re: impending birth of baby - turn up, smile, coo and leave.  There will be time in the future for you to bond with it but, for now, your focus needs to be on you and DH. x

Pooky - what a scare your little ones are giving you.  They are just letting you know they are there and keeping busy growing. xxx

Honor - bless sweetie, at the moment you must feel that you are on ever-moving ground, where you can't put down a root and stay still.  It's good that there are some glimmers of hope with DH's CV, I know it's not where you want it to be but, hopefully, it means someone will pick up on it in the UK, and, well you know what I'm trying to say - it may come good, and everything else will fall into place. Well, that's what I'm hoping for you anyway. x

Lynn  - I hope you do get some time off over crimbo, where you and DH are able to talk and decided what to do next.  As is so often the case, it seems awful things happen to us, and we have 1 day to 'process it' then have to get back on the treadmill and park it in the 'deal with later' pile....   Also, you need some time to treat yourself, look after you, not everybody else. x

Maisie - good on you for telling the in-laws there is a time limit on their stay.  It can be hard to take control with parents (in-laws too), and not just do as your told, and by-god don't you feel like an adult in charge of your life when you do?!!! Hope you and DH get some time to do food for the heart and head things and boost your batteries. xx

Carey, Twinklie and Gladys - my, ladies, what fun I'm hoping you 3 will have this christmas.  2012 is going to be such a lovely year for you, enjoy your nesting. xx

Rachel - hope you and DS are singing carols, and watching all those fabulous crimbo films and cartoons. xx

Afm- As you can see by my seasonal avatar, I am putting a rather perfunctory effort into crimbo - couldn't be bothered with the faff of a tree, for the first time ever.  It is the bamboo canes from our tomatoes (which was a paltry crop this year), decorated and lit up, and I'd like to think it is a modern/minimalist take on the tree (and saves the planet). Friends and family have been told to tell me what they want, and that's what's been bought.  We're going to my parents for christmas day, and back home on boxing day.  DH is having a mare of a time at work - his boss is being a complete asshoool, being based offshore putting no resource into the company, and despite DH working 60-70 hours a week to run the business.  The emails he is being sent are tantamount to constructive dismissal, and on Saturday night he was in tears, and said he couldn't cope.  I really hope I get a job soon, so that he feels that, if needed, he can just walk. Bless him. 

Ladies, for those of you who feel that you and DH have focussed on nothing but this for so long, it is ok for you to step back and take a holiday/do something that gets the blood coursing through your veins again.  As Kat says, sometimes it's good to feel cold so that you feel something. So many of you are so young, and I know you don't want to be an old mummy but please believe that there is time for a life and for a pregnancy to happen, even if it feels like the world is against you for it not to happen now, when you so want it to. Please stop beating yourselves up, you are doing everything you can, and more. xxx

Right, I'm off to buy the gift for the latest baby in our crowd to be here for christmas..... 

Remember now, turn up, smile for the camera, eat the mince pie, and leave  .

hugs all

Curlyonex


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## Pookychops

Lynn - big hugs to you! So sorry that it didnt work out for you. I hope IVF will be more successful for you.

Kat, Maisie, Lynn, Honor, curlyone - don't forget to send us all a postcard from the cabin getaway!

Hello to mrs-ixy - it's been a while and it's good to see you back.   Of course you're scared about your next round of treatment after what you have been through. We're all here to help you through it if you need us.

Curlyone - I like your approach to the xmas tree. It saves on hoovering up needles! I hope dh's job sorts out soon. It sounds awful. Is his boss in another country? That probably doesn't help and they won't know the employment law rules for over here. I hope you get a contract soon too to bring in the pennies. I hope you're enjoying your downtime though  

Honor - what type of engineering does dh do? That is if my memory is right and he's in engineering. I do so hope it turns around for you soon.

Hello to everyone else

Pooky xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ps  - sorry forgot to mention squirrel   to you. Every time I look at my key ring I smile and think of you and it makes me think that everything will be alright. You are a fabulous squirrel and don't you forget it.

  I must remember to dig out the info on the chateau we stayed in when we were in France last year, beautiful setting with wonderful food. Ideal for a couples get away who like food -  I thought you may like it as you're a bit of a foodie.


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies! Quick one tonight as am full of cold and feeling dreadful...
Lynn - you poor sweetheart. Thinking of you. Keep strong and take each day at a time - it can only get better right? I wish it had worked for you. Loads of love xx

Kat -   and def save me a bunk. If it were not for those pesky sick animals we have to treat, i literally would hop on a plane tomorrow. No joke. Thank you for making me feel better yesterday - not easy in the mood I was in. Enjoy your time away, look at the lush fresh snow and i hope you can find a tiny weeny eeny bit of peace. Lots of love xx

Honor - gosh, dilemmas over work and moving. I hate not having roots. This calls for a skype chat and talking it through! One step at a time, dont ever feel forced to go somewhere you dont want to go. Oopss, hang on - we are all being forced into flipping IF journeys! Aah! Maybe i will switch that to hang on in there. What is for you, wont go by you. According to my mother. Huge hugs xx

Maisiemoo - sending you some virtual christmas mulled wine to enjoy with you and dh - lets you and i make a pact to get through christmas and leave decision making to january xx

Pooky - thank you for lovely post! You have made me smile a lot! Must get a keyring for myself! Ha ha! Glad all ticking along for you, you deserve it my darling. Xx

Curly one - love your mantra about turn up, eat mince pie, smile then leave. You have exactly the right idea and it sounds like you do it so well! Must take a leaf out of your book! Thank you for being lovely xx

Mrs Ixy - welcome back bud! Huge hugs back, and we will be here for you with your cycle in the new year xx

Everyone - love to all. You have all cheered me up a bit. Am sitting in bed with a nose like rudolph, a head that feels as though it is stuffed with cotton wool and tar, and i may well have over dosed on lemsip. Dealt with a dog who had cheekily scoffed an entire cadburys selection box ( he didnt like the crunchie bar!) and a dog who may have eaten christmas decorations today! Aah, let the festive illnesses begin! I look rancid, feel rough but today i feel lucky for knowing you all. Sorry for being so mad and melancholy yesterday. Love as always, squirrel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## squirrel2010

Oooh, forgot - kat - happy wonter solstice right back at ya! Xx
Pooky - ooh, food, chateau, over indulging?! Moi?! Awesome xx


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## 1972

Hi buds

Just a quickie. Hi to squirrel: hope you feel better soon. Kat :hope as each day passes you may feel a little tincey bit brighter  . Curly: loving the tree! Mrs ixy : hello stranger x

I had 2 old work colleagues over for dinner tonight, fun times, I did a nice roast chicken and lots of Pinot rose for moi. Feeling happy. Ish. It's the wine . Last time I saw these girls I'd just had my tests, was breath of fresh air to just tell them, discuss for 5 minutes and move on without getting upset, snap at them for saying wrong thing etc. start to wish I'd told less people in first place... 

Anyway. I'm tired and tiddly. One more day at work to go. Whoop. 

Love you buds xxxxxx


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## Big hat

Hey Maisie, is that a glimmer of the old Maisiemoo showing through?  A little bit battered but still fighting strong and gathering friends around again, with a bit of a smile on her face? Good to hear that you had a fun night - laughter is the best! xx

Squirrel - hope the lemsip has kicked in, and you only get jolly illnesses to treat for the next few days !

Kat - sorry - happy winter solstice!!!

Pooky - yes, DH's boss is overseas but he hasn't become an incredibly rich man through ignorance.  He may not know the full employment law but, wooing people to work for you with promises of benefits and riches then treating them like poo on your shoe is an unacceptable low level of behaviour, the knowledge of which should cross all borders.  DH is a strong man, who is no shrinking violet, so I'm sure that when he has met these deadlines there will be a meeting of silverbacks squaring up to each other proportions! I will be ducking at that point! Who knows, maybe it's the thought of the impending January detox he couldn't cope with the thought of  .  

Hope all other buds are well.

hugs

Curlyone
xx


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## Jem2

Ladies,

Not sure if you remember me   but I have been reading what you are all up to.

Since deciding that our fertility journey has come to an end it has been hard to engage in conversation with people who are still very positive about the future. However I am in a much stronger place now and so thought i'd say Hi!!

Jem x


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## Nordickat

jem. thank you for popping by. my journey ended last week and right now i need to hear that life can be ok. so pleased you are moving forward xxx


honor. yes my pic is my wee boy. he is my life and i love him to bits. he is a very handsom young man who turns many heads, although that might be due to being bonkers ather than gorgeous. as for your future, i think different to the otherd i am afraid. you need to find a life that makes you happy and the one you have now doesm't. who knows, maybe a new life in germany will be the right thing.you wont know til you try but new job means more money, more accesible ivf. and hey, if it doesnt work you just go home and i know dh has already agred to it. different view that you might not like, but what if moving is one step closer to happiness xxx


curly. 1L port is ok but dont try sneaking in more lol. in fact i only do airport pickups if you bring booze.


squirrel. my pleasure. ghere to help and nudge you bck to reality xxx


mrsixy. lovely to have you back on board and the buds will be here rght until your baby is safely in your arms xxx


pooky, D end twinklie. i guess you wont be getting anything from santa this year since you got your presents early xxx


hanna and rachel. i hope you are both ok.


karen. lots of love to you xxx


lynn. xxx hinking of you


maisie. lots of love to you too amd i am so glad you had a little respite and felt 'normal'. i hope it continued to today xxx

sorry if i have missed you, the kindle makes it hard to scroll back. xxx


so looks like norway is off the list for a buds trip til the summer solstice when its warmed up. bristol is good for me. really though, if anybody wants a break over here then you would be welcome of course. ryanair from stanstead is cheap and that is all it would cost you as my tour guide services are free. 


pooch got new shoes for christmas and we had a big ski this morning in the sun. the sauna is warming now and i found some hotel chocolat hot chocolate in the cupboard so life is alomst prefect. actually things are really hard and i put so much energy into not crying or breaking, that i am just so tired all of the time. holding it together just about though.


love kat


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## Jem2

Kat,

I am so sorry to hear that your journey has ended. The initial first weeks were so terribly  hard for us it seemed that everyone was either pregnant or just had babies and life seemed to be so very unfair. In some ways our decision was easier to accept because it was just that 'our decision'. This journey has engulfed our lives for so many years that now I actually feel quite liberated and I can focus on other things rather than when will my next injection be/when is my next treatment.

Of course I would be lying if I said everyday was this positive I still cry, I still feel crap and I still want what others have got. This Christmas has been particularly hard, normally a time of year i love yet this year I still haven't finished buying presents.

DH and I have spent lots of 'reflection time' and have realised what is important to us, we have moved on from some friends who are no longer a beneficial part of our lives but have made some amazing new ones. It takes something like this to truly see who you care about and who cares about you - those that say 'I didn't know what to say so said nothing' are not those that you want in your life a true friend would say something (possibly not want you want to hear or even appropriate)!!

Take time to do what is right for you and sod everyone else!

Sending you a big hug

Jem x


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## Nordickat

thanks jem. i am pleased you have made new friends post bfn too. one of my big fears ia the loneky future with no fmily or friends. i am not sure i will make new friends. in norway if you dont have kids yu are nothing. even at th bus stop in the morning i have to stand alone. the dads chat in one group, mums in another and then grnadparents are he last group. there are the freaks and taht is just me alone. on my lats few days at work i was getiing later and later just to miss the rush hour lonliness. its less lonely to be the only one at the stop than to be the outsider. how sad am i lol. christmas is cancelled in our place but as guss you cant get away with tha with an 8 year old lol. i did my shopping on the net but stillhavent been brave enogh to write cards. i hate signing then with just our names when the list of names we have to sned to gets longer each year. in fact SiL ha so many kids now we dont even know all their names!  anywya, i promised myself not to talk about is on here so i will go and egt some fresh air instead. thank you though for coming back to say there is life after this. i will hang on tight tothat thought. 
i hope when the weekend comes you manage to emjoy it and find yourself content with those you have around you.
come back and see us again soon xxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Special  to *Mrs_Ixy* and *Jem*: Lovely to hear from you both, and that you're both doing ok, all things considered... .
 with your next cycle, *Mrs_Ixy*; and please do keep in touch! 
*Jem*: Life certainly is unfair . It does though sound like you are taking positive steps to make the most out of the situation - good on you .

*Kat*: I didn't realise it was Winter Solstice yesterday, so liked your comment .
We need to see your dog in his new shoes !
Re. DH and job: I know, that's what I'm struggling with. I want him to have a job again, for him to get back some confidence and pride and know he's providing for his family, but I'm still so shaky and fragile that I'm finding it hard to not look at any major change, as much as it's wanted, without feeling scared . This is where I think that I AM getting there, but why it's hard: one minute I'm up for the adventure of it all and the next it's like I'm having a panic attack over it. I just hope that everything works out "smoothly" in that he gets a good offer of a permanent job with a permanent base.
I AM willing to move abroad - that's not the problem, it's more the uncertainity of potential temp. contract work and also therefore the thought of being home alone (somewhere I wouldn't ever have chosen to move to otherwise) for long periods of time that scares me. I know some people do do it, but I'm just not the kind of person who could cope with that. Financially, we don't have enough money to move and then wouldn't have anything as a back-up if after a couple of months he was out of work again and we were back to relying on my unstable income and I had one or two slow months, which happens.
Not sure what you meant by DH already agreeing to it? Going home if it didn't work out? He hasn't said that and it probably wouldn't be an option, given we'd have to try and beg, borrow and steal to move in the first place.
Oh well, I'm trying my best to focus more on the adventure and potential positives than worrying side - hard as it is. I'm hoping to avoid any conversations about it over Christmas though, as I want to TRY and relax and have a good, stress-free time. What I'd give for a bog standard life !

*Curly*: Great news that you're joining us on our virtual trip to stay with *Kat* in her cabin ! 
I always love your posts - you always sound so positive and cheerful . Thanks for your kind words .
Loving the Christmas tree - sounds and looks very artistic! You should go into business producing and selling them!
So sorry to hear DH is having problems with his boss. I fully sympathise. The reason DH left his last job was because of poor, bullying management - it was also a case of constructive dismissal but one we didn't pursue in the end because he just wanted out and away and nothing more to do with them, plus the company was literally him and his 2 bosses so he had no one to back him up or help him and little chance of any case being successful (we did initially speak to someone at the Citizens Advice Bureau).
Keeping everything crossed things improve for DH and you get a fab contract in the new year .

*Pooky*: Hello . DH is a mechanical and software engineer. He can do a variety of things, none of which I understand !

*Squirrel*: How are you feeling today? Hope you can get shot of your sniffles before the bank holidays... That's usually my trick - fall ill at holiday time! 
Your tales of silly doggies made me smile ! You must have some crazy stories!
Let's definitely chat soon .

*maisie*: Glad you also "discovered" the happiness-inducing-ness of alcohol! You're doing really well at getting back on your feet again . I know there'll be many wobbles and falls, but we're here to help you get upright and sturdy .
How was the last day at work? How long are you off for?

*AFM*: See above. Seem to have gone from downright depressed and nothing but tears to Jekyll and Hyde. Hopefully the next stage is "normal", whatever that may be... .

Love to all,

xxx


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## Nordickat

honor. sorry i thought dh had agreed that moving back was an option if it didnt work out. life sucks smetimes and i didnt mean to make light of your very difficult situation. just rtying ti find some light in your darkness. oh for a magic wand hey. i wish i could make thigns right for you i really do. xxx instead of thinking about your long term future this christmas, maybe you can thnik short term and decide whenwe should all come to bristol so we all have something to look forward to xxx thinking of you and hoping the right path shows itself soon.


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## Pookychops

Honor - you should read 'Who moved my Cheese' its a very sweet story about three little mice in their search for cheese and it all about how people deal with change. You can work out which of the mice you are and it can help you see things in a different light.

I also bought the book 'feel the fear and do it anyway' never got past the first chapter - i felt a bit of a fool reading it on the train in the mornings


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## Honor77

*Kat*: No need to apologise! All comments, hints and suggestions gratefully received . It's always good to get different perspectives on a difficult situation, and I know (hope !) you all have my best interests at heart.

*Pooky*: Thanks for the book tips! I'll make a note of them and hit the library in the new year to try and get them. No doubt I'm the scaredy mouse .

xxx


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## Pookychops

The little mice have running shoes that they put on every morning   it only takes about 20 mins to read it Nd you may be able to find a copy online - I have downloaded it before.


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## Pookychops

http://www.magnacad.com/Printables/WhoMovedMyCheese.pdf here it is 

/links


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## Pookychops

Grr just went to acupuncture and on the way there saw a cat that had been run over and was writhing in the middle of the road. I turned around and went to help it but sadly it had died by then. I can't believe that nobody stopped for it. Well I can believe it, as that is the world we Are living in these days. I got a blanket out of the car and this lady and me wrapped it up and she then called her husband to take it to the vets in the hope that it could be identified. 

So sad, it was such a big beautiful cat. I'm glad I stopped to help it, even if it was too late. I've just got home and given my fur babies a big hug.

One very important thing that I have learnt from being on this thread is that there are people out there who do care and you guys have helped me regain some of my faith in people. You are a lovely bunch of ladies and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


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## Nordickat

happy little christmas eve. today we celegrate with rice pudding. i keep asking myself why i live somewhere that thinks rice pudding is celebration food!?!


pooky. there are good people in the world you are right, and i feel lucky to know so many of them on here. im sorry there was nothing you could do for the cat but be proud that you tried xxx


honor. i really do ave your best interests at heart and i also have a ridiculous need to fix things. i just hate the thought of people i care about suffering. i really do hope that your way forward becomes clear soon xxx 


the thermometer has gone red here which is bad news for our skiing so might have to do lumch instead. i really need to go and burn some stress in the mountains though rather than sit and fester and think.


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Pooky*:  what a horrendous ordeal for you last night . I'm so glad there are lovely, kind, caring people out there like you who stop and help injured/dead animals. That's one tiny consolation for us with Neo - that people looked after him, even though it was too late. Just wish they'd thought to take him to the vets, nonetheless, like you did...
Thanks for the link! Will read it today .

Happy little Christmas Eve to you to *Kat*. Enjoy your rice pudding! Don't forget to leave some out so that the Julebukk doesn't play any tricks on you ! Think that's right ?? 
Being the sad-childless-women once again this Christmas, but with a head and heart full of things I want to be able to do with and for my non-existant children , DH is being treated tomorrow to a specially prepared "Christmas around Europe and in the US" evening with Christmas cookie baking and then Christmas cookie eating (and mulled wine drinking; ok, not really suitable for children!) to tales of Christmas in different European countries coupled with webcams . I should AT LEAST have been a primary school teacher... 

 for everyone else,

xxx


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## Nordickat

we have julenisser but they sound the same as julebukk. if you dont leave stuff for them in the barn they play tricks on you and i think your animals too. we dont do ricepudding though as chocolare cake was invented for a reason. enjoy to round the world cookie bake,that sounds cool. your norwegian cookies need to be gingerbread ones


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## Nordickat

hi guys. i hope the bumps are looking forward to this weekend and that the rest of you are coping. its quiet on here which im hoping is a good sign.


i am sorry for this post but i dont know where else to go and i know you all understand, nobody else knows my history. my trust issues have come back to bite me on the butt again. i still havent been able to talk to dh about alll this and he knows nothing about how much i am struggling. i feel like i am about to break into a million pieces. dh is telling me he wants topay our mortgage off quickly so we can take a few 6 month sabaticals around the world and all i can think is 'dont run, dont run'. he is making plans while i am sitting in shear panic that i am abot to lose it. my need to run away is getting more powerful and i dont feel in control anymore. i have made my plans even. it would be so easy to disapear up here by accident. i am scared i am going to break his heart again. he deserves so much better than me but he doesnt deserve to be left broken. i left my diazapam at home although that is maybe good as dh would want to know why i needed to take them. i need to run and i am scared.
so sorry to dump on you but i needed to tell somebody. thanks for your pms too, i do appreciae every one and i will reply when i feel more in control. thanks for listening.
love as always kitkat xxx


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## Nordickat

**** please please please ignore my last post. it was meant for another thread :-( stupid kindle.


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## 1972

Kat - are you ok missy? That's a very sad sounding post when you were sounding a bit more together...you can share with us if you are feeling bad  

Just a quick one from me, first day off today , been rushing round. Still only half presents wrapped, baking to do tomorrow, housework etc and inlaws  arriving at 4pm.... Got ***** friends Xmas drinks tonight- I don't want to go but I've done enough hiding. Litre of vodka coming with me!

Hi to everyone. Xxx


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## Pookychops

Kat - I think it's time you sat down with dh and had a good chat about everything. You can't do this on your own. I'm very worried about you. Please message back and let us know you are ok.


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovely ladies,
Just to say to each and every one of you - i know this Christmas will be one of the following. Bitter, sweet, bittersweet, tiring, amazing, difficult, heart wrenching, lonely, friendly, sad, happy, hopeful, a new start. It might be something else but those are the words that spring to mind for me. Each of you are my friend, and that is one of the only good things about 2011 for me. So I would like to say a heartfelt Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to my friends on here, but not in a patronising stupid platitude type way. In a desperately hoping that we all get through what can be a hard time of year, in whatever way we can. For me, I suspect champagne, tears, over indulging in food, possibly having a melt down kind of way     xxxxxxxx

Kat - you can say anytging you like to us. Want to understand and help. Keep strong - I KNOW you can, even if you dont. Love ya xx

Jem - welcome and hugs xx


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## Pookychops

Squirrel - http://www.relaisdusilence.com/site_hotel.php?hot_id=540&url=www.chateau-maulmont.com&lang=&**=F249-Chateau-de-Maulmont this is the place I was talking about. They've got some really nice wines there. We did the taster menu so wine to match the food. I had a bad head the next day but it was worth it 

 to you to honey.

/links


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## Honor77

Happy Christmas Eve, .

*Kat*: Hope you're "ok"? 

I'll no doubt be checking FF over the bank holidays, maybe even posting, but wanted to quickly wish everyone a Happy Christmas, or an As-Happy-As-Can-Be Christmas .

Hope Santa's going to be kinder to you than it looks like he's going to be to me - I can tell exactly who's on her way: merry friggin' Christmas .

xxx


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## Karen_S

HI Buds,

Yes, it's me. 

I'm still here and never a day goes by without me thinking of you all. Sorry I haven't been able to go back and check all the goings-on, but please know that my thoughts, hugs and laughs are with you all.

This is just a little message to wish you and your families a wonderful, happy, safe and fun Christmas. May 2012 be a year of wonders for all of us.

I'll be back on form once I get through the mountains of food, wine and champagne (yep, the real stuff) that DH and I have been stock-piling.
From here on in it's 48hours of Christmas hibernation, just the 2 of us. I'm so looking forward to it. This evening we'll decorate the tree, according to German tradition, then sit in awe as we watch the real candles flicker on the branches... and hope that we don't get too tipsy and forget to blow them out before bed! That would certainly warm up the apartment.

Then, its a new year, new opportunities, new adventures and a new me, I hope!


Lots of love, Christmas cheer and snow for everyone. And may Santa bring you loads of goodies 

Love
Karen
_*
"Sit with a loved one in a room lit only by tree lights and remember that our blessings outnumber the lights. Happy Christmas to all."*_


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## Pookychops

Hey Karen - good to see you! 

I would like to wish you all a vey happy Christmas! I know some of you would rather avoid it - maybe try and use the holiday to have a bit of down time with your nearest and dearest.

Sending you all big hugs and thanks for your support throughout the year!

Love to you all

Liz xx


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## 1972

Hi buds

Hope you are all ok. Wishing you all a very merry Christmas   I hope you all have as merry a time as you can. I'm looking forward to eating until I burst. I am seriously suffering today with the worst hangover I've ever had   teach me for playing catch up. Had a bit of a situation with my best friend and had drunken tear filled argument/ thrashing out of last 7 months of crapness.. Was good to get it out and boy did my emotions come out, but I wish it wasn't in those circumstances. Water for me tonight. 

Massive hugs to Karen, hope you and DH have a wonderful time and look forward to catching up. We miss you. 

Kat- I hope you are ok and enjoying some mulled wine is your cosy chalet. Thinking of you . Xxx

Twinklie/ pooky/ D - happy preggers Christmas ! Xxxxx

A huge happy Christmas to the rest of my lovely  Buds. Here's to a happy Christmas and an even better new year for us all. Thankyou for all your kind words and support this year, I wouldn't have got through it without you xxxxxxxx


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## rachel1972

Happy xmas buds hope you are all with a loved one. x

Karen great to see your post lovely saying x


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## squirrel2010

Merry Christmas to you all  

Maisie - hope the hangover shifts, I prescribe lucozade and buttered toast xx
Honor - tell the witch to stay away   xx
Karen - glad youre back  , merry christmas xx
Pooky - thanks for the recommendation! Xx
Kat - if youre out there, keep warm   xx
Everyone - thank you for being my very own set of Christmas angels.       xx


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## lynn1303

Merry Christmas to my gorgeous buds!!!!

I had a weird old day. Every Christmas eve we spend with dh family. We were sitting watching the kids all play and have fun when there was a pg announcement from his 20 yr old little cousin and a split second b4 they congratulated her I got the "look" of pity from everyone. I was more upset about that than the pg news. 

I had my pg sil tell me not to worry and dh aunt go on and on about how much that must get me here whilst pointing to her heart. I was convinced the woman wanted me in tears!!!!

Today was my otd and should've been our day to announce our news. Oh well. 

Santa currently in Germany!!! Sweet dreams buds. Hope Santa is good to you!! Xxx


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## Gladys07

Kat  - Please talk to you DH, I don't want you feeling like. xxxx

Merry Christmas everyone xx


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## Big hat

Happy christmas lovely buds.


Xxx


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## Honor77

You too, lovely *Curlyone Bud*, and everyone else too !

xxx


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## 1972

Merry Christmas buds...xx

I'm typing on my new iPad, love it!!! And hopefully my typing will improve!

Hope you've all had a lovely day xxxxxx


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## Pookychops

Hey buds, hope you are all enjoying the break and taking time out for a bit of indulgence. 

Dh bought me a filing cabinet for Xmas - such a romantic present   better than the how to clean book from last year


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## 1972

I certainly am indulging !! 

Special festive hugs to Kat  

Xxxxx


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## Hannushka

Hey ladies...
Firstly, massive apologies for deserting you all for such a long time. The before xmas rush at work really took it's toll and all I wanted to do after work was to relax and sleep... Though my ** is almost always open when I'm home  
Firstly- I hope you all have had the most loveliest christmas!
I have read back a little bit but please excuse me if I don't remember everything, because I don't. The biggest news I have come across though...
Pooky: OMG! Congrats for the double whammy snuggling up there   You so deserve it! Hope everything is going smoothly x
Karen- Good to see you popping in, hope you are doing well x
Honor- Thanks for msg. Hope you have had a lovely christmas. Hope dh's work stuff sorts itself out soon x
Squirrel- Still not sure if it was fleas but finally work took it seriously and sprayed the whole floor and stockroom overnight. I haven't been bitten for over a week now but the old bites are still very very itchy, which is really strange :/ Hope you have had a lovely xmas though x
Maisie- Hope you have recovered from the vodka - induced evening lol  
Lynn- LOL at you tracing santa's travel   Don't you just hate ppl who don't think what they say...or...worse they do and say it anyway... Your auntie sounds like my dad's ex  
Rachel Hope you've had a lovely xmas. I absolutely love your sis's tune u posted on ** x
Curly-Hope you have had wonderful christmas. I'm glad to hear you broke no bones on your skating trip 

KAT- I have read your recent posts with sadness and worry... I want to get on a next flight and give you THE biggest hug in the world. Please do not run. Problems don't disappear by running, they will be there waiting for you, where as if you stay, you have your dh to share your sadness,share your worries,that is why he is there. He chose to be with you and has been with you through this whole journey. You may think he deserves better, but I bet he is so darn proud of you, for never losing your hope, to keep pushing towards your dream, he knows there is no other woman who would go through what you have done to fill both of your dream and for that reason, if, and this is only IF, this dream was not to come true, his dream already has come true, the dream to have so loving, so special woman in his life, you are that woman. If he thought he wanted someone or something else, something better, he would've gone a long time ago. He chose to be with you, to share with you and to love you. Talk to him, because I'm sure he knows something is up and he wants to help you. Don't play with your medication, it is there to help you through this period, once you get through this, you can,together with your doctor,start weaning you off it, if that is the right thing to do...
It is hard to think sometimes, that if you can not give him a baby, that there would be anything of the same worth you can give, but there is, and that is love. You have a one of a kind man, who,I'm sure loves you to death. Grab him, scream,vent...and you can together get through this. Please please take care of yourself xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


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## Nordickat

Sorry, I´ve not read through your posts. I planned to but I´m hardly holding it together and Hanna´s message nearly broke me so reading further back is a bit risky. Your post was lovely hanna but far too nice. Hopefully I can come back again soon and catch up properly. Just taking an hour at a time for now though. Thanks for the pm´s too, I haven´t read them yet but I will as soon as I have a little bit more strength.


I hope you have all had a lovely christmas. I know for some of you it will be harder than for others, but I hope that even if you are having a hard time, that you had some moments of happiness and at least had weekends full of love and food and booze. Be kind to yourselves. I hope the end of 2011 is a relief to all of you and that 2012 brings you all happiness in some form or other. I hope you all manage to find the way forward and are rewarded for your strength and determination.


Lots of love to you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me through the last 6 months. It would have been much tougher without you.
Katxxx


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## Nordickat

Well its been a long old night but I´ve made some big decisions, ones that I know are right and that I am happy with. My first one is that I´m coming off my meds starting today. This is me, nothing is going to change so taking medication to hide my shortcomings and failings just doesn´t seem right. I can´t hide behind them anymore. At the end of January we are going to Canada boarding. I would just pull out but my best friend is having a bit of a hard time at the moment and I know she is looking forward to talking things through and having a few vinos while we sort her life out. Then after that I will start a new life by myself. I love my DH with all my heart and I will miss him everyday but he needs to move on and be happy. He wants more than I can ever give. He has told me in the past that he will be OK whatever happens to me and I believe him. He has also told me this last week that him and the dog don´t want to live with somebody who is miserable which makes me realise I am doing the right thing for him however much its going to hurt me. I will do much better by myself and he will do much better when he finds somebody to make him laugh again.


I will be wrestling with some pretty mean demons over the next couple of weeks while I come of my meds slowly, so in case I don´t make it back on for a while, I hope you all have a good start to 2012 and that the year ahead brings you happiness and hope.
I´ll be back soon to check on you all,  
 Katxxx


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## 1972

Oh Kat honey.... Your post is breaking my heart....  I know this has been a long hard slog for you and DH and your relationship, but you are making judgements on how you feel right now.. You are not giving yourself space to grieve and find ways of moving on, it all feels too soon? 

Have you actually sat down with DH and talked it through , most women although sad at future without kids manage to move on and I can't bear to think of you alone as you are reacting to the here and now...

Please don't do both things at same time, both will put you under enormous pressure and noone could cope with both. 

Is there anyone you can talk too, family, friends and think about it a bit longer??

Sending you lots of love and huge hugs and hoping you let a bit more time pass before any decisions xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Betty-Boo

Kat     Christmas is so so hard - think we all put so much darn pressure on ourselves to achieve things in 12 months and when NYE arrives we always look back at what we've not achieved and not what we have ...

Please talk to your doc before stopping the meds ... if that's what you really want to do. This board here might be somewhere to sound off in private as its hidden from everyone .... just a thought ... you'll get some more support in there too, maybe from others who've been in a similar situation?
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=136.0

Take very good care .. stay safe  

Mini xxx


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## Gladys07

Kat, Your post brought a tear to my eye.  Please listen to us and your friends as we care about you and you shouldn't do anything rash. Firstly it is great that you feel you are  ready to embrace life with out your meds but you can't do that on your own, you need yo speak of DH and your medical team and they can create a program and support you to come off them, doing it yourself, cold turkey without supervision is not safe. Please seek professional help.

As far as wrestling demons goes, a goo acupunctiruist can bring those demons out and lay them to rest, maybe they can place that in your program.

With regards to your DH, you are making huge assumptions about your relationship and what DH os thinking and possibly throwing away something, which I think sounds strong.  When he said he doesn't want to live with somebody who is miserable  it is because he cares about you and wants you to be happy, it is just men are crap at vocalising.  When I was in a depression and wasn't myself for quite a while after mum died and OH said some horrendous things.. i think to try and shake me out of it.  He didn't mean them.  You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel and you want to be happy with him but first you have to mend and that you would like him by your side.  You have been through so much together.

Please, please please do not go through this chapter in your life on your own you need support.

Lots of love

Dx


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## Big hat

kat, I think what we are all trying to say, in our own way, is that we care about you, both in terms of your emotions and coming off the meds. We just want you to be safe and happy and to know that we are all here for you.   Please don't try and do all this on your own. xx

Karen, I'm glad you popped by.  I hope you are ok too.  

Maisie - I am going to miss your creative spelling...

To all you other lovely buds, thinking of you and will post personals another day  .

hugs

Curlyone
xx


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## lynn1303

Kat pls pls pls don't come off ur meds. I'm a nurse and have seen first hand what it does to people who come off their meds without proper medical help. If anything and I say this with love I fear u need to speak to ur dr telling him everything uv told us and he might possibly put u on different or stronger meds. 


Ur dh has just went the wrong way about telling u he's worried and wants to make u happy. He loves u so much I'd worry that if u just disappeared he'd spend his life looking for u. He would be truly miserable and may never get over ur disappearance. I don't think u intend to coz him pain but that's exactly what would happen. 

U know where we r. Pls don't make any big decisions whilst ur feeling so low. Xxxx


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## Hulagirl

Hello lovely buds, 
I hope you are all well and had good christmasses. I havent been on here for a while so i am just catching up on all the news and boy there is a lot of it. Sounds like you had a lovely meet-up in London - im so sad to have missed it but hopefully we can arrange another one soon. If anyone is in the Kent/Surrey/London area and fancies meeting in the meantime i would be up for it??

Congratulations to the pg ladies of lately - great news!
Sorry for those with BFN. 

Kat - i just read your post and it doesnt like you at all. Take the advice of everyone on here and if you are thinking of doing anything with your meds, talk to someone first. I really cant see coming off it completely being the best thing, maybe see if you can gradually reduce it. With your DH you have been through so much together im sure he is just feeling the strain too. Have you thought about having some time out??Dont throw something away that is good, we have all read on here about the good parts of your relationship, maybe you both need to try and get some of that back before you think about a future apart. Men are rubbush with words and their feelings as well,im sure he didnt mean what he said. big hugs to you xxxxx  

AFM - been having a break from things tx and its funny how nice it feels to be back on here and reading up on everyones news. Had a nice holiday in november which was lovely, a little island in the middle of the indian ocean where we got some sunshine and relaxed for a couple of weeks - would love to go back it was beautiful.  December has been nice and christmassy and just been enjoying catch ups with people and having some nice times. Been thinking about tx and when to start again but as DH might be going away with work we are waiting to find out when hes going as much as i would like to say i can cope without him during tx there is an important job for him to do   in his pot. 

Does anyone have thoughts on acupuncture? Im really starting to think about having some but im wondering how much would need to have it and also when? Also does anyone know how much a session costs?

Now that christmas is out of the way we are trying to decide what to do for new years eve - whats everyone doing?


love to all 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## 1972

Hi buds xxxxx

Hi hula girl, long time no hear. I had acupuncture, mine was £45 an hour and it was quite relaxing. They say you should have for 2-3 months before cycle, I probs started too late. Good to hear from you, keep in touch xxxx

Kat -


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds  

thank god xmas is out of the way, i had a cry on xmas morning before little one got up cos all i wanted for xmas was a baby brother or sister for ethan and i knew santa couldnt give him that.  After that we got on with our quiet xmas. 

pooky had to laugh a filling cabinet , we dont do presents anymore after recieving cooks books , a bin, and wellies some of the rubbish gifts i recieved from hubby, mil law got me a bag something truely ugly faux fur with tasles?

Lynn - know what you mean about the looks of sympathy it really drives me mad. just tells us

hulagirl -welcome back.

Hope you all had a good break with or with out family , and big hugs to all that needs one.

love and always hope Rachel x


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## Hulagirl

Hi Maisie & Rachel - its good to be back!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies,
Lots of love to you all during this weird time of year, bittersweet christmas and new year. Good to see you hula. Will do personals in a few days, hugs to you all   xx
Just wanted to do a small shout out to kat too. You are such a friend to us all and we would be lost without you hon. So just think what it would do to your dh. Dont make any rash decisions and sit tight. Head down, one day at a time. I know it aint that easy, and i know you hurt so much. Just wish we could make it better. Look at all the posts and pm's from all who care about you. That should show you how amazing you really are. Keep strong, keep leaning on us, and your meds if you need to. Dont punish yourself anymore. Loads of love xx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat   I hope you are ok. I think you're being very hard on yourself and I hope that you haven't come off your drugs yet. You should only do it in a safe, controlled manner otherwise you will just make it even worse. You know that too. From what I understand you and your husband love each other and have been through difficult times with your joint fertility problems and your depression. He just wants to see that you are ok and no doubt hates seeing you so unhappy - that's probably why he said the things he did. Have you tried marriage counseling to guide you through this?

I hate to think of you so unhappy and you are in my thoughts. 

Hello to everyone else. I hope you are all surviving the festive period.

Hula girl - hello   nice to see you back here. I've had acupuncture throughout my fertility journey. I have found it to be very relaxing and the lady I see is great for giving advice and reassuring me throughout the process. She's had three kids herself so she knows what's she's talking about. I pay her £40 for an hour session.

New year tomorrow night. I always struggle with the point of new year celebrations,after all it's just another night rolling into day. Off to friends for dinner and I'm driving again. I just hope that I'll be ok to drive home as the morning sickness is back with a vengeance today!

Got the cats back today from their little Xmas holiday at the inlaws. Bessie celebrated being home by bringing 4 worms home in the space of 10 minutes! 

Happy new year to everyone. I hope 2012 brings you plenty of joy and happiness. 2011 was pants in many ways and deserves to be put to bed so that is what I'll be celebrating tomorrow night.


----------



## squirrel2010

Just to say A Very Happy 2012 to you all, may it bring everyone health, happiness, moments to treasure, and friendships like ours. Lots of love to you all xxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Also want to wish you all a happy new year -  2012 is a good year for the Cheesecake Gang.

Love you all!

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Oh! And how was your scan, *Pooky*?

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

Happy New year to you all and may 2012 bring happiness to us all.

It was wonderful meeting you all in 2011 x


----------



## Big hat

Well ladies, as I'm just grabbing a breather from doing the prep for this evening's meal with my sister and her family (that I'm really looking forward to), I just thought I'd grab a cuppa and take a moment to wish you all a Happy New Year.  You really have been wonders to know, and despite not ending the year with a good excuse for my pot belly, I do feel I'm ending it with a light disposition - I know that we all  have good things to look forward to.  So, thank you buds for making me smile, making me cry, making me feel something at those times when I didn't think I could, and for making me laugh out loud involuntarily.  You really are all wonderful  

Let's banish the upsets of 2011 and ring in the celebrations of 2012.  

For those of you hurting at the moment, sweetie pies, we'll get there because we are the buds, and we are great!  

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - scan was fine thank you   they are now 23 mm and their little hearts are still beating   I've still got a bit of a bleed going on in there but they do not seem to be worried about it. It's all so nerve wracking. Only two and a half weeks to go now till we hit 12 weeks and hopefully I'll be able to relax a bit more about it all.

Curly one - you're so lovely. Have a fab evening!

Happy new year to you all!


----------



## Nordickat

just wanted to wish you all a happy new year and may 2012 be much better than 2011. 
the one good thing from 2011 is you guys, and that i wouldnt change for the world.


lots of love xxx


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## 1972

Hi lovely buds

Here's to a great big goodbye to 2011   for some it's been a great year and I'm so happy for my buds who had great news. I know for some of you buds this year has been part of a longer journey and I'm sorry things haven't worked out as you hoped. For me, I can't wait to see the back of this year.. It's been the hardest, toughest year of my life and it's changed me. I'm so grateful I was introduced to you lovely ladies, I'm so happy to have met some of you in person. You've been more supportive than you can ever imagine and for that, I'm so very pleased.

I end this year feeling as though a large chunk of my heart and soul has gone, I'm not sure it will ever truly get back to where it was but I will keep trying. 

Here's to a better 2012 and wishing all your dreams come true, all the luck and love in the world. 

Fiona xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi buds 

wishing you all a bright and amazing 2012 i am looking forward to meeting you all again with the new additions to the group.

to those of you who are still awaiting your miricales i truely hope this is your year.

Maise your post is so true, huge hugs 

Curlyone great uplifting post as usual hope you have a wonderful night.

love R x


----------



## Honor77

My sentiments exactly, maisie.
Had lovely Lebanese dinner (made ourselves), drinking cava & going to finally release balloons later - somehow seems appropriate, although I anticipate tears, to say a special goodbye to pepite & pepin and the Ninky Nonk... 
I've never been a big New Year fan, but am determined to get 2012 off to a good start.
Looking forward to seeing you all again next year!
Xxx


----------



## 1972

Sounds fab honor. Dh and I were in bed at 11pm.... Both feeling very sad. I've woken today still with a very heavy heart  

Here's to 2012 and happier times x x x x


----------



## Honor77

*maisie*... We did stay up to see in the new year, but unfortunately the Cava went from making me tipsy to making me sad. I was in a right mood and just wanted to go to bed in a huff. It had been windy pretty much all day but when we went to release the balloons, it was all calm outside and so we couldn't do it, which didn't help . I've never been a big New Year person so I don't know why I seemed so sure that this time would be any different - for some reason I was expecting to be relieved to see the back of 2011, excited about the prospects of 2012 and automatically feeling on top of the world and raring to go when I woke up this morning. Ha  - it's just another day: another baby-less day, another day with no idea when and even if we're ever going to be able to try again and become a mama and papa, another day more that my little Neo has been gone, another day hurting. This is even worse than the thought of and actual Christmas was!

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey Buddies,
Just Wishing you all a Very Happy New Year. For some of us 2011 was a hard year, but I have a feeling 2012 has some great potential to bring us what we have wished for... 
Me and dh made a pact, this year is going to be THE year that changes everything for us. Moving back home will be the start and it'll all get better from there on. I just know it.
_Honor_- Honey, sad to see you so down. Please try to be positive, this year really has the potential, we have to give it a chance. You know, when you said you couldn't release the balloons because it got so calm, maybe that was a sign, they were not ready to be released yet. You need just a little more time to reflect on what has happened in the past year, and when you are good and ready to let go, the wind will come, and with those balloons then catching the wind, the positivity will embrace you and you are ready to face the bull by it's horns again ... 
_Maisie_- It sure has been a hard year for you and dh too, I hope you are feeling better now. I have a feeling this may well be your year. I have given myself 2 years timeline. Only because I just heard my older sister is pregnant and by the time she is due, her baby and my little sister s baby will have a year between them , so to keep the tradition, I am determined to have one a year after hers lol. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if we give ourselves a goal in to a bit further distance than just our next tx or next af, maybe it relaxes us a bit and gives us a better chance... I don't know, just a thought... xx
_Kat_ - I hope you are feeling better, I didn't mean to upset you with my message the other day, just tried to make you see how important you are, not only to us but to your dh too. You are important, you are funny, great human being and you deserve happiness in your life. It has been especially hard year for you, but again, I have a feeling this year will be better. Stay strong honey, fight! I'm so rooting for you this year. xx 
_Karen-_ Hope you are well too, I know you have taken a little break from here lately (I have too), hope it has done a world of good and you are ready to embrace 2012. 
_Curlyone-_ Hey there, loved your positive message. Hope you had a great evening yesterday and the dinner was lovely. We also celebrated at home with another couple and their baby. Cooked some good food, few fireworks, champagne and few cheeky wines, oh and my last cigarettes. I have to, I need to, stop smoking, now. It went a bit pearshaped this december and I ended up smoking every day instead of 'just when I'm stressed' . It is very easy to create stress just to be able to have one lol. So my resolution(s): quit smoking, lose 5 kilo's by march. Whats yours? xx
_Squirrrel_ Hope your tail has been all fluffy this year and you have refrained from jumping up the xmas tree  Here's to a great 2012  May it bring us all happiness, , prosperity, wealth and tears of LAUGHTER. We deserve it! xx
_Rachel_- I hope 2012 brings you luck and happiness too. I really really believe this is our year! I keep repeating it untill you all agree lol 
_Pooky_- Glad scan went well. I am so happy for you, so so happy. Now, take it easy the next 2 weeks, I can't wait to hear great news from your 12 week scan xx 
_Dee_ Hope it has been a great new year for you, not long now till ickle one sees the world! I wish you loads of happiness this year. Your well deserved dream will finally come true this year xx 
_Hulagirl_ Welcome back! Sounds like you had a wonderful end to the year, hope the new year has started well too. Acupuncture, I really reccommend. I had it before my tx until ET and it was so relaxing! I got very dishearteded though when tx didn't work, so I stopped it straight away after. I know accu wasnt to blame for my tx failure, I sort of gave up all my good habits I'd started as a sort of a punishment for them not guaranteeing me a baby... Silly Billy me. Now I will slowly start fixing my life habits again, can't afford to start accu though, all the money is needed for our move in March xx
Lynn- Hope you have had a good new year. I like the new hair-do, really suits you. I'm sure this will be your year too, repeat it with me 'this year is our year' loooooool xx
Hortensia- Hope you are still lurking. Hope you have had a great new year so far and all is well. Your dream will come true this year too xx
Everyone else, I have forgotten- I hope you all are well and 2012 will bring you all things you've wished for xxx
Hanna


----------



## Hulagirl

Morning lovely buds and Happy New Year to you all! 

Quite glad to have shut the door on 2011,  like for lots of us buds it was quite a tough year and i'm looking forward to a new year and a new start.
Sorry you couldnt release your balloons yet Honor, like Hanna said maybe the calm was a sign and that you arent quite ready? Although saying that it sounds like it might be nice for you to release them sooner than later so you can have some closure and start 2012 off a bit clearer. This may be the thing to make a difference? Sorry to hear you are feeling sad.
Hanna - l like your positivity for 2012 and that this will be your year to change everything - good for you hun.
Maisie - sorry you are feeling sad too, hopefully we can all rally each other along and cheer you up.
Pooky - not long to go until 12 weeks, im sure it will fly by. Glad your scan was looking good, how exciting!

I completely echo Curly one with all that you said, im so glad i decided to take the plunge and sign up on FF and then to find a group like the cheesecake gang i feel truly blessed. You've all been wonderful and I'm so pleased to be part of the best   thread on here! Heres to the cheesecake gang for 2012. 

Had a nice evening last night although ate far too much and that will be one of my resolutions for the new year, shed some pounds and get back into shape. Feeling very lardy this morning!
Thanks for everyones thoughts on acupuncture, i emailed a lady a few days ago who is affiliated with Zita West and she has suggested we have a quick chat about it. She charges £40 a session so i will give her a call and see what her suggestions are.

Anyway may all our dreams come true for 2012 and I hope its a good year for everyone. Its the year of the Dragon and according to a wise friend of mine its meant to be a good year.

I found a nice quote that maybe we can all think on...."Out of difficulties grow miracles."

love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

maisie and honor - special     for you both as you sound in need


 to everyone else too.


----------



## Nordickat

I have just read all your posts and feel very humbled   Thank you for being the loveliest ladies I know. I hope you all realise how important your support is   


Pooky - fab news about your babies and where does Bessie find all her worms?!?
Mini - Sorry for my post on here. I don´t fancy ´talking´to people I don´t know though. 
Hulagirl - acupuncture helps with the stress of tx if nothing else.
Hanna - you sound great ........ long may it continue   


AFM - the toilet at the cabin froze so I´ve been peeing in the snow for the last 4 days. Its nice to be back to the comfort of a proper toilet.


----------



## Hannushka

This is my wish for us all for 2012:

_
Smiles when sadness intrudes
Comfort on difficult days
Rainbows to follow the clouds
Laughter to kiss your lips
Hugs when spirits sag
Sunsets to warm your hearts
Friendships to brighten your being
Beauty for your eyes to see
Faith so that you can believe
Confidence for when your in doubt
Patience to accept the truth
Courage to know yourself
Love to complete your life _

Kat- I miss cabins and (though this may sound strange) peeing in the snow!!! Now, shall I say that'll be the first thing I will do when I go to Finland in March, pee in the snow    
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna

/links


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - maybe it shouldn´t be the first thing you do. Squatting in the snow at Helsinki airport might be bad form   . I don´t mind the peeing in the snow really but because my ovaries are still massive after OHSS, I have to go 3 times in the night. I was out 3 times last night in the middle of the night in a blizzard and each time I got back to find pupster had crept into my spot in the bed to get warm!


I love all of your wishes


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - I'd have a bottle with a funnel as back up to avoid going outside! I've never had a wee in the snow. 

Bessie goes out and digs worms up. no idea how she finds them, she just roots around in the garden.


----------



## 1972

Kat !!! We need to get you some sheewee's!!!!!! Glad to see you back with a hint of that old humour. May 2012 bring you comfort in whatever path you choose xxxxxxxxxx

Pooky - great news re scan  

Honor- sorry you are feeling like this too... I think a bit of normality will help, too much time to think... Think about some dates for our next meet  

Hanna - not long now before you go home. Me must try and meet up before you go xxx

Hi to all the rest of you lovely buds. I feel a little brighter, met my work friend this afternoon and went for hour half walk in fields with her dog then her other half and dh all went for long country pub lunch, was so nice.  Dh and I done a little research into what next and we will have one more go. I've looked at bourne hall, current clinic and lister. Looked at costs, success rates, accessibility, size of clinic and decided to stay here we are. Am thinking march/ April... Gives me 3 months to get healthy, 3 months of supplements, lose weight, give the head a rest then take it from there. AF came with a vengeance yesterday as another reminder. And also, dh and I looked at a house yesterday.. Another challenge, settle, get some roots and a fresh start whatever this year brings. 

Lots of love, health and happiness in 2012 xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - I had a thought this morning about you   . I have 2 friends on here who ran out of funding for ICSI and their PCTs agreed to fund IUI instead because its cheaper. Long shot I know but maybe worth it. One of them had 3 ICSI BFNs and had her IUI baby on my OTD last month so it can work. I don't know how you go about it or anything, in fact I don't even know what PCT stands for, but maybe its worth appealing again?

Maisie - its amazing how much better you can feel once you have a plan in place isn't it   . Add some melatonin to your supplements to see you can give those eggs a boost. And yep, I need a sheewee as thats it for the season now, no way to defrost it.

Pooky - DH wants to drill a hole in the wall so he can just pee straight outside   

I'm back at work now and you may have all been right about stopping my meds   . I can function in the mountains hidden away from the real world but its not going so well now I'm back to reality and the novelty of the warm loo seat has worn off. I don't think I can do this


----------



## Gladys07

Happy new year you lovely ladies.  

I am having problems posting from my phone so just borrowing a friends computer.

Sending each and everyone of you lots of love

Dxx


----------



## 1972

Kat- can you go back on them and maybe reduce dose? Then maybe see about reducing down and down until you are at a point you can feel happy with? How are things otherwise, hope you are leaning on dh  Xxx

Me- yes. Plan can help, I think it's called not dealing with the situation but for now, I'm getting on with it. I do feel like I'm going slightly nuts though. I still have big issues with friends, and I was worried about how I felt over last week or so.. Quite panicky and like my head was going to explode... I just don't know what's wrong or quite what to do.. Think I may need to see hypno women again.

Back to work tomorrow     boo hoo!!!!!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope everyone is doing ok .

*maisie*: Just PMed you!

*Kat*: It's definitely lovely to "hear" a bit of the old Kat coming through with the humour . But you DO need to get those meds sorted  - you know we're always right ! 
As for doing IUI, I did ask but our consultant said our MF is too severe for it to work and as we already skipped to the ICSI (tho' that was on his recommendation and without the option of IUI), we wouldn't get funding for IUI now. In a way I therefore wish we'd been given the option of trying IUI first, but, on the other hand, if it's that unlikely it'd work for us, best to just have avoided it to save any further heartache.

*Hanna*: LOVED the poem, thank you !
I liked your thought on why there was no wind for balloons on NYE, and I am probably _not_ ready to let go, yet I feel I need to do something symbolic to move on (as *Hulagirl* said...).
How exciting that you're moving home soon! Will we get to see you before you go ?

*Hulagirl*: Lovely to have you back in the fold . Thank you for your wonderful quote too! It's definitely true that what poses itself as a difficulty can seem like a miracle when you get over that hurdle;  for lots of little miracles this year from all our individual difficulties...

Starting with *Dee*, *BathBelle*, *Bambi*, *Carey*, *Zoe*, *laalaa*, *Beadyeyes*, *Bell*, *Eva* and *Pooky* (and any other pregnant Buds I've missed off here ?!) ! Looking forward to celebrating the birth of your little miracles in 2012 .

*AFM*: Well, 2012 got off to a _great_ start - I spent the day all teary and argumentative. DH got peed off with me and I had another sobbing meltdown over Neo. I think I just somehow, stupidly, expected all the crap to magically disappear with the last second of 2011 and to feel brighter and stronger right from the very first second of 2012. Now I've had time to accept it's just another day and these things take time, I'm feeling better. 
And today I am feeling MUCH better having taken the plunge and e-mailed the rescue centre about one of the (very, very few) kitties currently available! Turns out that one is being homechecked, so is probably already taken, but there's another still available who the Kitten Lady is sure is a boy they'd originally thought a girl. She's double-checking and if it _is_ a boy, I can probably go and meet him on Wedesday! Am  he is and that we take to each other - in which case, I could be a kitty mama again by the weekend!

Lots of  and love to everyone,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi all,

We're in a&e at the moment. Sat down earlier and felt this gushing feeling, went to loo and panty liner was not a good colour. No cramping or back pain tho. Just had blood tests and given a rather red urine sample. Am so scared. Waiting to see gynaecologist now. Why can't things go easily for once?


----------



## 1972

Oh pooky hon,   everything is ok.... Keep us posted.    xxxxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Massively praying for Pooky here        
Keep us posted honey xxx


----------



## Gladys07

Pooky   that all is ok. Please let us know x


----------



## Honor77

Pooky: Any news? Couldn't believe it when I saw your post... Am praying everything is ok. I'm sure it was at around this stage that my BF had a bleed scare with her twins that turned out to be nothing to worry about, and indeed rather common with multiples. I know that's probably little consolation when it comes to you and your own babies, but hope with all my heart it's the case...
Keep us posted.
Big hug,
xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi,

Just got home. My cervix is still closed and the doc saw brown blood and not really any red blood. She said it could just be the bleed that I had in there coming out but she can't tell without an ultrasound and cant get one of those tonight. They are booking me in the epu unit and I should get an appointment in the next day or so. We may see if we can get a private appointment in the morning at a place down the road.

I've got to watch out for further red blood, clots and any pain and if so to go back. It's all so flipping scary.

The hospital also lost my first lot of blood work and the nurse cocked up taking my blood and had to get it out of my hand in the end. Then the doc had to do it the next time and she used a huge needle and syringe! So glad that I didn't look!

Dh is supposed to be off to Japan on thursday snow boarding. So I hope I'm ok so that he can go. He has said he won't go if there are any problems. 

Why does everything have to be so blinking difficult? Got my first antenatal appointment tomorrow too. Still feeling sick so I guess that's a good sign.

I so hope when you all get pregnant that you don't have to go through all this.

Thanks for all of your wishes xxx


----------



## Honor77

Thanks for updating, Pooky. It must be all very scary, and is so unfair after everything you've been through. What the nurse said makes a lot of sense. I hope you can get a scan soon to confirm this is what's happened and put yor mind at ease...
Thinking of you,
xxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Pooky.  Just read your post and am   for all to be okay for you.  Sweetie, try and get some rest, although I'm sure it will be difficult.  Am thinking of you.

hugs  

Curlyone
xx


----------



## 1972

Pooky- glad to hear they think things are ok... How crazy in the biggest city in the country you can't get a scan out of hours.   everything is ok. Xxxx

I'm off to work . Depressing.com


----------



## Pookychops

Depressing.com indeed! The weather sound horrible and I think another tile just fell off our roof in the wind!

No blood this morning.   that it stays that way.


----------



## Hannushka

Glad to hear they think all is fine, Pooky. Now stay put, let dh spoil you rotten. Hope you get a scan soon xx


----------



## Nordickat

Stick tight Pooky Twinnies


----------



## Pookychops

Can't get a scan until Thursday at 11.40 - Dh's plane flies at 12 noon. crap timing or what. I asked for an earlier appointment but they can't give me one but have put me on the  list to be bumped up if anyone cancels on them. Ideally I want dh to be with me, don't want to go on my own. I could get the mother in law to come along I guess but it's not the same.

Am overanalysing every tweak today and knicker checking every 5 minutes. Glad that I'm working from home, although I don't appear to be doing much.

I'm hoping the antenatal doctor that I'm seeing this afternoon will be of some help to me. If not I will try and book a private scan tomorrow somewhere.


----------



## Gladys07

Pooky - I have learnt there is nothing like piece of mind, don't wait.  CAn you can go to the clinic where you had your treatment?  I think they charged me £12


----------



## Honor77

*Pooky*: That sucks. I, like *Maisie*, can't believe you have to wait so long for a scan in London! Hope the antenatal doctor can help you this afternoon. I'd have thought that he would be able to get you in for one somewhere... . *Dee's* suggestion is good, if you haven't tried your clinic yet...

Thinking of you ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

i hadn't thought of that. they have discharged me now - would that make a difference?


----------



## Nordickat

call them pooky. my clinic saw me  even though i had been discharged.


----------



## Nordickat

in fact they gave me a slot within the hour.


----------



## Gladys07

No not at al , I was also discharged when they saw me.  They gave me an appt that dayx


----------



## Pookychops

i'm booked in tomorrow at 10.30 at guys. going to see if I can get a different one later today


----------



## Nordickat

good news. I'm sure things are fine though. Your cervix being closed really is a good sign, as is the wonderful feeling of ms


----------



## Pookychops

poor dh is tearing his hair out at work with trying to get projects started before his holiday and also trying to work out if he should go or not as he's not sure about leaving me.


----------



## Nordickat

If things are fine tomorrow then there is no reason for him not to go. When you see those 2 heartbeats flickering away as strong as ever you'll know that they are sticking around for the long haul   . And its only Japan. Is he on Hokkaido? Its a couple of hours bus transfer down to Sapporo and then a quick hop south before jumping on a flight home. Flights are as frequent as buses in Japan. I am of course completely biased as a love snowboarding, and snowboarding in Japan is fantastic. If he hasn't been before he is about to discover where the word Kamikaze came from   ....... does he know they don't have foot rests on the chairlifts   . The slopeside food is amazing btw, as is a post boarding onsen! Tell him not to think about going now and just wait and see how you both feel after the scan. Maybe when he sees those babies again he'll decide never to leave your side again, but then again once you see all is well, you might be glad to see the back of him for a couple of weeks.


----------



## Gladys07

pooky - maybe get bloods done today.  Remember always get a bleed checked out but a bleed doesn't always mean disaster xx


----------



## Pookychops

yes, he's going to hokkaido - he's really looking forward to it although he's a bit concerned about keeping warm enough. he's already looking forward to the food and he's also got a couple of days in Tokyo at the end of it all. That's the bit i'm worried about as I know that all of his mates will be going to the seedy parts of town... he doesn't like all that though so i'm hoping he'll stay well away.

i now have an appointment at guys tomorrow morning and at the epu in the afternoon. will decide which to go to later. may try somewhere else first.


----------



## Nordickat

Go to both Pooky. Nothing wrong with seeing your babies as often as possible IMHO. 

Tell DH wool wool wool and then some down on top, oh and a marino Buff is worth the 20 quid too. He can warm up in the baths afterwards anyway. Is he taking his own board? The rental ones are really heavy so it might keep him warmer to drag one of those around lol. I am very jealous. We both love Japan, especially Niseko, the powder capital of the world. And don't worry about them going to the seedy part of town. They will never find it if they are only there for a coupe of days ........ it'll take them that long to work out the underground system   .

I might have to go away for a while and I'm not allowed internet access. I can take sneaky peaks on my phone to check that the pookettes are doing OK but I'll not be able to post. I will be thinking of all 4 of you though and hoping with all my heart that all is well in there.

Be thinking of the rest of you too of course.
bye bye for now, Katxxx

PS. Squirrel - I'll be able to email still


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

Pooky hope the scan is all ok 

maise try and take it easy , go to the doctor and get some time off if needed it sound like you could be stressed out. never underestimate the effects of the drugs and emotions of it all.

honor - hope you get the kittens this week.  did your appeal go to pannel??  or was just  a decissoin on the criteria the pct have cos i had that letter and then its gone to pannel.  I took advice from the fertility network she was so helpful.  Any news on hubbys job?

Rxx


----------



## Pookychops

Thanks Kat - hope you are ok.

He's not going to Niseko as one of the guys has already been and didn't want to go again - never mind what everyone else wants to do hey Anyways, they are going to lots of different sites, some of which are off the beaten track. do you know how strict they are with going off piste out there?


----------



## Nordickat

Didn't want to go to Niseko again    . They are not strict at all in our experience, more kamikaze. Depends how good you are on a board but some of the off piste is harder than Europe since most of the slopes on Hokkaido are below the tree line so you have to get round the trees whilst remembering that the boarder who took that route before you was likely a very small Japanese person so making very tight turns through very small trees ...... always funny to discover that when its too late!


----------



## Pookychops

Well his mate is a been there done that and no need to do it again kinda guy. He's also used to getting his own way which can be rather annoying..... Dh is a bit gutted about not going there but maybe their plans will change, who knows.

Well just got back from antenatal appt. couldn't understand a word he was saying aside from that his daughter is a gynaecologist and she had her baby at guys. I'm not going into town to deliver! He did an external exam - read prodding - and said it was all soft and ok but that he didn't want to say anymore than that and that I should wait for the scan tomorrow and rest in the meantime. I wish I hadn't bothered going now as I feel more stressed than I did before!


----------



## Nordickat

Take it as good news Pooky - 12 hours after your big bleed and your cervix is still closed and soft. That is a good sign.

No room at the inn for me after all so I'm still here .... jury still out on whether its good or bad news ....... at least I will be able to hear your good news tomorrow Pooky


----------



## Pookychops

I didn't really understand what he meant by it being all soft and because I was struggling to understand his accent I didn't pursue it. I probably should have done. He was only prodding externally too - didn't want to go inside as he thought I had been poked and prodded enough at the hospital.

have decided to go to both appointments tomorrow. dh can only make the morning one and if everything is ok I still want to go to the EPU so that they have it on record for if I need to go again.

still getting indigestion after eating so i'm looking at that as a positive sign - i just pigged a bar of white chocolate from hotel chocolate on the basis that it would have less caffeine in it than darker chocolate  

oh and dh was pleased with the info on the trees on the off piste


----------



## Twinklie

Pooky - I know how worried you must be. Remember the big bleed I had in the beginning? It was like a proper period for a couple of hours and then stopped. I was so sure it was over. But everything was fine. There are so many stories like that. Hope everything looks perfect tomorrow so you can relax a bit.


----------



## Pookychops

Thanks Twinklie   As dh said last night we'll be worrying for the rest of our lives and this is only the start....


----------



## Twinklie

I know! A nice reassuring scan lasts a couple of days and then the worrying starts all over. My DP also says that if I'm this worried now what's it going to be like when he/she is actually out there and not even with me all the time? I'm very happy I got the doppler, would recommend it. It was about £25 from Amazon and we've only used it twice as we don't want to disturb baby too much. It's nice to have it if you're in need of some reassurance. I think they can be used from 12 or 14 weeks, so just a bit longer to go for you now.   

Hope everyone else is doing OK. Maybe one of these days I'll find the energy to start writing properly on here again. I've got my anomaly scan next week, very nervous. Just hope that everything is OK and that we can just enjoy finding out the flavour.

 to everyone.


----------



## Honor77

*Pooky*: Glad you've got 2 scans booked for tomorrow for extra peace of mind, or should that be temporary extra peace of mind?! It really is just the start of a lifetime of worry! I like *Twinklie's* suggestion of investing in a doppler. Are you going to get signed off work for a bit so you can rest properly ?

*rachel*: How are you ? So what's happening with your appeal? I wasn't aware any appeal I made would go to a panel after having a rejection letter... My GP didn't mention this either. Do you have an actual name of someone I could contact at The Fertility Network?
No news on job for DH. He's still applying for as much as he can, unfortunately predominately in Germany, but hey, I can live with that if he can get a good, permanent job . He's had another request for a telephone interview, so needs to arrange a date for that. The ones I'm not happy about, and am struggling with, are contract/temporary jobs and/or on-site contract jobs. Trying VERY hard not to panic too much while there's no concrete offers in the pipeline for these. I think he was supposed to have a phone interview for a job I wasn't at all happy about (involving mostly on-site contract work in the Middle East), so I haven't asked/reminded him about it and may lure him into meeting me in town later tomorrow after my counselling session in case he has forgotten and so misses the call - is that very devious and naughty??!

 to everyone else. Am nervously awaiting some form of contact from the kitten lady II this evening to confirm whether Ezra is a boy and if so, to arrange to go and meet him, hopefully tomorrow .

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - fancy coffee, cake and vino in May? 22nd most likely but maybe 21st. I will be in Bristol for a few days. DH said I could do some work while he is busy but I explained a had more important plans


----------



## 1972

Pooky- all sounds good and glad you've got things sorted. It must be so worrying but try to stay as positive as possible as its so draining on you and you need your energy for the little ones !

Pooky/ Kat - your snowboarding conversations gone way over my head! Lol

Kat -   

Honor - here's to good news re the cat, I think it's a great idea. Why wouldn't you be interested if it's a girl ? Got your message, need to set up Skype on the iPad then I cn check when you are about.

Rach - cant possibly take anymore time off work. It's such a tough one. I just need to put focus onto something else, so it's my 40th party, house hunting and losing weight!

First day back at work, rubbish as ever. I have a banging headache after cutting daily calorie intake from about 3000 to 1000, no sugar, low fat! No pain, no gain, got to kick start the hormonal and Xmas weight.


----------



## rachel1972

Honor they send a letter saying no first and if you appeal it, it goes to pannel i wouldnt of known this if i hadnt sent a letter to the pct but they responded by telling me to get the gp to appeal, there is a form called (exceptional funding application) the gp should fill out which mine didnt but she did write a letter.  I would call the pct direct to ask them to explain appeals you will have to direct the gp if she is anything like mine.  cant remember who i spoke to at fertility network as it was along time ago. there are pct who do fund after mc as i know a girl who is going again.  so worth continuing to fight it. I will update you with my appeal when i hear, should be this week fx xx


----------



## Hannushka

Kat&Honor- you must meet may 22nd as that is my birthday and you can raise a toast for me  
Rachel- Thats the kind of letter I got too, to ask GP to do the letter for me, I never did, sort of gave up but now I've got all my paperwork ready again and off to GP thursday to tell him he must! do it, and do it fast! Want to chuck my 2 frosties to their home before I leave the country lol
Everyone-    
Pooky - Glad you are better, Good luck for scan tomorrow xxx
xxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Honor77

*Kat*: In theory, yes! No idea if we'll still be here though... But I will definitely pencil you in in my new diary, when I get one tomorrow, and hope to be able to confirm nearer the time !

*rachel*: Mmm.... My GP filled in all the forms required and wrote a supporting letter, so I have a feeling that's as far as we can go...?  with your appeal, though - hope it's good news !

*Hanna*: Good luck with your appeal too . Hope your GP comes up trumps on Thursday!

*maisie*: . Would it be worth seeing your GP and getting signed off with stress? I know some people I used to work who were signed off with stress for a few weeks/couple of months - it was a terrible company that treated its employees like slaves... Anyhow, it may well be worth asking, you've got nothing to lose and you never know... 

*Pooky*: GOOD LUCK again for tomorrow - will be thinking of you and checking for updates on FF .

*AFM*: It's a boy ! Going to meet him tomorrow, so hope we take to each other and to be able bring him home at the weekend! Any suggestions for names? I like: Casper, Gustave, Caillou or Ned, but am yet to convince DH of any of those! DH also seems excited at the prospect of another kitty in the house .

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Back at A&E with heavier bleeding


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello angels

Pooky! You poor darling. Keep strong and keep believing - the girls are all right, really common to have bleeding with multiples. The hearrt beats were there last time and there is no reason they wont be there now - bet it was that blood they saw and it has just all come out. Praying you are ok, thinking of you and hoping beyond all hope that everything will be ok. It will be ok pooky, it will, because it just has to be. We are all here waiting with bated breath. Huge hugs and lots of love xx

Kat - hello you! Good to see all your posts, and that you are not going away for a while - that is great news  . Hope work isnt too rubbish, and thinking of you as ever xx

Honor - hello! Sorry I have been awol! Yay kitty mama! Miaow! It is meant to be! Keep us posted, good call on the names. Your comments about how you felt about 2012 struck home, you are not alone. But it cant get any worse than 2011 can it hon?! Surely! Onwards, chin up tits out my girl. Xx

Maisiemoo - liking your plans for 2012 and it sounds like you are going to use the next three months wisely. Excellent work! Big hug xx

Curly - how you doing sweetie? Xx

All fabulous pregnant buds - hoping all going well   xx

Hanna - so excited for you about your move this year! Xx

Pooky - so sorry to write chirpy personals to the others, after writing to you - just wanted another shout out for you to let you know we are all here, and care so much about you.  You are our priority at this time.   and   xx

Everyone - will waffle about me soon. Hoping desperately that 2012 will bring us all what we deserve xx


----------



## Big hat

OO Squirrel, I was fine - catching up on all the posts of today (and enjoying all the chats) but, *Pooky*, I now have tears in my eyes. I so thought it may have just been a blip for you. As Squirrel says, we are all here with baited breath thinking of you, and really hoping for good news.  Sweetie pie, hoping for the best result, and am prayingfor you to whatever god may be around  .

hugs to all

Curlyone
xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Cervix is still closed. They won't do an ultrasound here so still have to wait until tomorrow to find out if everything is ok.


----------



## Big hat

Pooks,well that seems to be good news doesn't it.  Try and get some sleep and some rest  .

xxx


----------



## 1972

Pooky- good luck today.   xxxxxxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Pooky hope your mind gets put at rest this morning.

Dxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Good luck pooky xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

I hope the wee pookettes are snuggling in tight as I type xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Thanks   will update you later. One thing I've learnt from this is not to go to A&e unless you have bleeding and pains. Otherwise they won't scan you and that's the only way to find out what is really going on. It's amazing, big blob of blood last night and today nothing. All very odd. Shattered too as didn't sleep at all well and the kitties didn't even help out with cuddles


----------



## Pookychops

The pookettes were both having a little dance for us   now measuring 33mm and 30mm

Can someone please have a large drink for me? I think I'd go bonkers without your support. Thank you


----------



## Gladys07

- those pesky pookettes causing you grief xxxx  Sooooooooooooo glad all is ok, did they say what the bleed was?

Dx


----------



## Pookychops

They had no idea what caused it. No sign of any bleed inside either. Just been told to take it easy. Dh will go to Japan!


----------



## Nordickat

Fantastic news. Grow pookettes grow! Maybe the bleed was just from all their dancing about.

 Katxxx

PS. Does DH board in a helmet? I hope so ..... if not go buy him one. All the coolest dudes have them but I notice not many Brits do.


----------



## Big hat

Pooky, that's fantastic news.  It is too early in the year for any bad news.  Hope you are taking the Dr's advice and resting.  

xx


----------



## Pookychops

Yes, he's got a helmet, a shovel, a transceiver? And has been on basic avalanche training. He is toying with the idea of hiring one of those back packs or thingy that gives you air if you are buried in an avalanche. I bought him a face mask for Xmas and he has a thin hat to wear under his helmet. 

He's got to be extra careful this year as I need him back in one piece!

Curlyone - yes it is too early in the year for bad news. I started 2009 and 2011 in tears due to bad news, even numbered years seem to fare better of late. I'm taking it easy. Still going up to the epu for another scan from a different angle this afternoon. I'm hoping that they will give me more advice too.


----------



## Honor77

Fab news, Pooky!! You must be so relieved! Are you still going to this afternoon's scan? 

About to scoff some lunch before heading over to the kitten lady II's house.

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh exciting! Let's hope you love the kitty and get a new addition to your family. They bring such joy


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - He just needs a back protector then and he'll be all safety-kitted up! I was looking at an inflated one of those backpacks over Christmas and they are massive. I was just browsing my Japan photos and I'd forgotten about the views of volcanoes, he is one lucky man ........ although only 17.5 working days until I go to Whistler   .

Honor - I hope he is gorgeous and you come home a mummy to a fur baby. My dog when I was a kid was called Casper so thats my vote, although Gustav is really cool   . Hopefully I can have some kitten cuddles in May   .

My boss has just politely asked me to go off sick and after some stubborn holding back tears and 'I'm alright', I've called the Dr and now I'm waiting for him to call me back. I'm a bit scared as I've been trying to avoid telling him things have gone a bit wrong and I went straight to the crisis center without his knowledge yesterday, but they were full of all the other nutters anyway. So, pant pooping time while I await a verdict  . I have so far been working on the basis that if you know you are losing the plot, then you are actually in control of the situation   . I am clearly not in control of anything as my credit card bill can confirm   .

Over and out, Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Oh kat -   to you. Have you heard back from the doc yet? Is your counsellor back from holidays - weren't you waiting for them to come back so you could talk to someone? Let us know how you get on and thinking of you.


----------



## 1972

Phew pooky! Glad the little ones are ok xxxx

Kat - sounds like an idea. I seriously don't think I can do my job at the moment but I just don't know what to do about it. I hate being there, can't focus and want to just stay at home all the time. I just feel happy and content at home and don't have to be nice, polite, busy, professional etc etc. I might speak to boss and see if I can do some working from home. Thinking of you mrs xxxxxx

Afm - started diet Monday to try and lose weight. I've put on 12 lbs in 2 months    7 in last round and then 5 lbs of gorging and feeding my sadness over Christmas. It's affecting my esteem, chances and energy  so got to get shot. Got headaches from hell as body is going excuse me, where's the cheese, choc, rich 3 course meals lol!!!!!! Start back with the exercise Monday. 

I'm not feeling myself. Xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - sounds like you need a hug too!   maybe when you start exercising it will give your endorphins a boost and you'll start to feel better about yourself. It always works for me but I know it's not for everyone. Last year was really tough on you and what you're feeling is completely normal. 

Take your time with cutting certain foods out of your diet as to suddenly stop will give you headaches. Just switch to healthy eating and snack on fruit and drink plenty of fluids. Lots of kitty cuddles are good too. January is a horrible month too - I think everyone should be allowed to hibernate jan-march and we'd all be a lot happier!

Speaking of kitties - Honor - did you have any luck?

Squirrel - thanks for the text last night. Dh fell asleep in the a&e dept in the end and I had to drive him home. Good job I wasn't admitted.  How are you? Have you got your plans sorted yet? Did you manage to get thru the Xmas break ok? How's things with your sister?

Thanks again to you all for your support over the last couple of days. Xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies

Yay pooky! Glad all good, knew it would be. Calm down now! Xx

Kat - i agree completely - if you know you are having a crisis and are aware of that then you are obviously holding it together. Keep us posted. You know we are here. So pleased you are not having to go to work, you are the priority and you have bent over backwards for work recently. You deserve some time. Hope your doc can give you some decent feedback and actually help for a change. Loads and loads of love my strong norway kitten xx

Honor - yay kitty! Hope it all works out xx

Maisiemoo - will join you on health kick   xx

Curly -   xx

Everyone - sounds like you all need a great big fluffy squirrel type hug and i am sending each of you your own personal one.  Am off to uk to see in laws, then appt at new clinic on monday. In denial and scared. It is not happening. Eek. Will try to get online, think it will be fine. Anyhow - keep your chins up, tits out and fight on through 2012. With buddies like you, I will try. Love you all. Xxxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well .

*Pooky*: How are you doing today? Hope you're feeling better now you've seen the Pookettes (love it, *Kat* ) dancing around and there have been no more scares . 
Was it this morning DH left for Japan? Hope he got off ok and has a great time!

*Kat*:  for you... Your theory is right: you're aware of it happening and can still function logically. I agree with *Squirrel* that you deserve some time off. Let us know how you get on with the doc .

*maisie*: *Pooky's* right: ease yourself into the dieting, otherwise you'll just be miserable and headachy . Good on you though for taking positive steps to help you feel better in yourself and back on track for a 2012 baby .

*Squirrel*: Thanks for the fluffy squirrel hug! Whereabouts in the UK do the in-laws live? Hope you have a nice time. And    for your appointment Monday - very exciting!

*AFM*:  coming home Saturday ! He was lovely . He's black and white and ca. 14 weeks old. He was very shy with me but he seemed a sweet, good-natured kitty. His foster mum was tickling his tummy at one point and he looked like he was giggling away - loved it ! Am so pleased to be able to give him a home, as he's the last of a litter of 3 to go and his foster mum said it was basically because he was so shy but his sisters weren't. Also she has a ridiculous number of her own and foster cats, so he's the only "baby" among an army of older cats, so it's great to know he's now going to get all the love and attention he deserves and loads of space to himself. She's bringing him over for us Saturday p.m. . So, we just need to get sorted for him coming and think of a name!!

xxx


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## Nordickat

Honor    hooray for a new fur baby. Do you have a new name shortlist now you have seen him? Did he look like he could grow into a Gustav? Looking forward to seeing a photo of him. 14 weeks must be tiny. I don't know anything about cats but how big is 14 weeks? Does he fit in your hand?    

Squirrel - enjoy your trip and lots of luck for Monday   

Maisie -    Have you made an appt with your hypno lady yet? If not then do it! It sounds like you need to talk to somebody and refocus. As for getting healthy, go for it. I have a new project at work looking at antioxidants and red wine and dark chocolate really are good for you so you can allow yourself the odd treat. And green tea too to flush out all those nasty fat cells   . Have you tried 5HTP? I think that really does help lift you a little and if it lifts you enough you might be able to sort your head more easily. I think Pooky has taken it before? Someone on here has I'm sure. 

Pooky - did you have scan #2 yesterday? I told you the fab thing about twins is extra scans and so you see them loads   

Dr for me tomorrow   . Do I tell him about the OCD lining up of 10 boxes of mini smarties in their colours this morning, or the 1000 quid credit card bill I've run up or just frighten him with the contents of my head   ......... I wonder if a frontal lobotomy is an option   . I'm sick/working from home today. All I've done so far is walk the dog and line up the Smarties and no doubt all I'll do this afternoon is eat said Smarties (in colour order   ) so I guess it'll be a sick day afterall.

Love to all you quiet buds too, 
Katxxx


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## Honor77

*Kat*: Glad you're seeing your doctor tomorrow. Tell him everything. The only way he can help you properly is if you're completely honest with him. I know it'll be hard, but the good thing is you're aware that something's not right and that you need help, which you're actively seeking, so make sure you get the help you need, missy . And for the record: lining up Smarties in order of colour, and then eating them in said order, is not a sign of madness . Seriously though, I hope tomorrow's appointment can bring you some sense of peace and reassurance .
It was me you suggested 5HTP to, btw, if that's what you're thinking about? I did look in H&B but couldn't see it, should have asked...
The  seemed quite big to me, but then I was probably comparing how big he seemed in comparison to Neo when I first met him, yet Neo was only about 9 weeks then, and very likely even younger, as his foster mum didn't think him or his siblings looked that "old". I don't know how his siblings turned out, but Neo was quite a small cat really, so it's likely this one will end up bigger as an adult. He still has the kitten tail and little face though, so I don't doubt his age. As for names... I had decided on Milou (subject to approval), but then realised it's a girl's name! I LOVE Gustav and Casper but DH isn't keen on either. So far we can only agree on Ned, which I like as a name, but am not 100% sure about for the kitty...

Back to work...

 for all!

xxx


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## Big hat

...and it feels like all is well with the world....

Pooky - so glad all seems well, and I'm sure DH will now enjoy his last 'freedom' holiday before becoming a daddy  . x

Honor - hurrah for fur babies!!!  I like Gustav, as it sounds like 'gusto', and   will be bringing a 'gust' of new energy and joy in to your house  

Squirrel - feel I should clap my hands and wriggle my toes in excitement for you.  Please don't be scared - it means that, with an appointment in January, there is every chance you will be a mummy by next christmas - yipee!    

Hanna - good on you for being so organised.  It seems like you have really grabbed control of your life again.  Hope you have all your appeal paperwork sorted and ready for the post  .

Rachel - good on you too.  When do you hear about your appeal?  Does this mean DH is thawing to the idea of more?  I hope so, you really do deserve it  . x

Maisie - sweetie, don't be hard on yourself. Last year was a real toughie for you, on top of which, all of those times of being on the wagon only serve to make chocolate and crisps more enticing (I have a tin of quality street perched next to me as I type  ).  It's fab news that you are looking at another house, as usually when you start to make one change many others follow. Losing weight is just one of the many things that you are doing right now so, don't add any more pressure by expecting it to happen overnight  . x

Kat - I'm with Honor - lining up smarties is not necessarily OCD, it's an effective use of time when you have some on your hands  . As for the credit card bill - you're helping solve problems with the world economy.....  .  Glad you're taking some time out.  Sometimes it is okay to just be, let the world keep turning without you, and do something else - how are those bees btw - do they keep producing honey during winter or just sit there buzzing? What does a bee winter look like, if there are no flowers to pollinate?

Hi to all other buds.  Sorry if I've missed any of you off.  Hi to Karen if you're having a sneaky peek  .

Afm: am on the hidden C detox and abx, finally, and DH seems to have embraced it too  .  After the excesses of christmas it is a blessed relief not to be drinking, although we are swimming in various types of tea.  We may not be lined up for our next treatment but, it's a little step closer.  Things are looking brighter on both my and DH's job fronts so, maybe just maybe we'll get there....I can't wait to take down the decorations and get on with this year!

hugs

Curlyone
xx


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## Nordickat

Honor - if we have a buds kitten name vote we can out vote your  DH don't worry  

Curlyone - bee world looks pretty white at the moment and all the hives are buried under snow for the next few months. I imagine they are all huddled up in the middle of the hive buzzing to keep warm and wishing they had thought to fly South for winter. Is your tummy OK on the antiBs? Lots of people get upset an upset stomach.

I feel sick now ..... it was the orange ones that pushed me over the edge I think since I saved them til last.


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## Pookychops

do the orange smarties still taste of chocolate orange? Not had any smarties for ages.

Lining up smarties is just a distraction me thinks. My OCD thing is counting - I have to count rows of things or dots or anything. I also can't leave the house without calling someone to tell them that i've locked it and even then i have to go back 2-3 times to check - all completely irrational as if someone is going to break in they will do it through the back! I could also do with some straighteners that turn themselves off if not used for 10 mins! I've been known to take them to work with me before so that i wouldn't keep panicking that i'd left them plugged in!

Honor - great news re kitty. You have to think of a name that you dont mind calling out around the streets. I have mine now trained to answer to a whistle and a tweet.

dh is now on his plane - he's panicking slightly as i booked one of his connecting flights and he thinks he needs my credit card to pick up the ticket  and he forgot to take it with him. so i've emailed him a picture.


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## Pookychops

oh and i went for the second scan yesterday and they gave me some really good pics to bring home. he also showed me the umbilical cords, hearts and placenta - he was more thorough than than the doc at guys actually. they were still dancing    making the use of the space while it's still there i guess


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## Nordickat

Pooky - I line things up and sort them. I used to drive my old shrink crazy with my lining things up on the table to fit the pattern of the wood grain ............ so crazy she got rid of me   . After much research I can confirm that Norwegian smarties all taste the same! Great news about your scan pictures.

Honor - you maybe should try again at H&B and give 5HTP a try. Its natural so won't do any harm but it might help you too. Although maybe lots of shy kitty cuddles will help anyway   

Curlyone - I have taken on the challenge to save to worlds economic crisis.


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## Big hat

Ah, the old OCD - all of our underwear is folded and stacked in little rows (not so little in DH's case), the t-shirts also get their own little stacks, old cutlery cannot go in the same tray compartments as the new cutlery, and all of my tools (for making jewellery) go back in their original packaging before being put back in the tool box. I embrace the OCD and it makes me happy  .

Gosh Pooky, from the original scare your scan sounds pretty special. Has DH taken a screen shot with him so he can have a little peek every now and again? What's the betting he'll be on  top of the mountain, chest all puffed out, thinking 'I'm the Daddy' and pretending he's got your little ones suited and booted and skiing/snowboarding down the mountain with him  ?

Tummy's are ok at the mo, if a little windypops  .  DH is the one we're worrying about as he had a severe reaction to some he took for his tooth, but can't remember what they were.  I'll crack on regardless.  It's only a few weeks after all, and herbal teas are always at hand.

Kat - Have to say, I'd have saved the reds for last.....best you go and buy some crisps - offset the sweet with savoury  .

xx


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## Big hat

Oh,and thanks for the info on bees - I'd always assumed they just died at the end of summer, or the few hardy ones that were left found somewhere to hibernate and miraculously thousands appeared the next year....not that a whole colony huddled together...hmm....must engage brain more.
x


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## Nordickat

Bumblebees hibernate and honeybees snuggle up but lots do die here in a cold winter so you were right   . The honeybee queens (and bumblies too I guess) only mate once so have all their eggs already so just pop them out in Spring. 

And I'm glad its not just me that has to keep old and new cutlery separate. DH just doesn't get it and chucks stuff in together and then puts the old ones out on the table   . I had serious sweats at the cabin as there aren't enough dividers for the cutlery. All of it is old but forks, spoons and knives are all mixed in together   . Weirdly though, its refreshing and I feel kind of free there and the jumbled cutlery is all part of my alter ego I think   ....... you should come for therapy Curlyone. All my beads and stuff are out on the coffee table though because for the first time in ages, I can't make anything, I just can't work out what to put together and what works. Do you get any of your stuff online? Who from if you do? I love feelings and seeing everything before I buy usually but its so expensive here I think I should get more stuff from the UK. I asked my sister to get me some funky beads for Christmas and she did a fab job


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## Honor77

*Kat*: There's what looks like a really good bead etc. shop in Bristol, bottom of Gloucester Rd. Maybe we can go bead shopping when you're here. Was it 22 May? Please confirm so I can pencil you in in sparkly new diary .

xxx


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## Nordickat

Honor - Gloucester Rd is maybe where my sister went for my present   . Our trip is a bit complex but it should be 22nd May (if thats the tuesday). We are driving over from here and then DH is flying from Bristol to a meeting in Germany on the Monday and and back Tuesday or Wednesday so me and the pooch are hanging out in Bristol with my sister (who knows nothing of the plan yet) for a couple of days before we head west for a month. As soon as DH has booked flights I'll confirm the date with you and you can choose a venue. I've a large stomach so can do morning coffee and cake, followed by lunch and cake, followed by dinner and cake too if you like.


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## Honor77

Did she get you beads, by any chance?!

No worries on exact date - I can't guarantee we'll even be in the country anymore by then, so best to be flexible and plenty of time! I hope it works out though - would love to spend the day eating cheesecake with you , , , ,  - don't forget breakfast and cake and afternoon tea and cake!

Are you just going to turn up at your sister's then ?

xxx


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## Honor77

You are now pencilled in as "Kat and cake" .

xxx


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## Nordickat

If you are not in the UK any more you can meet my DH for cake in Germany instead! Actually, forget that, when I visit Karen we'll come and see you too.


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## Honor77

Definitely, *Kat* !

We [read "I"] have a shortlist of  names (for now...):

Caillou
Casper
Gustave
Fabien
Figaro
Ned
Néro

Still not 100% convinced of any of them...

Any ideas, comments, suggestions??

xxx


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## squirrel2010

Hello angels!
I have hacked into the wi fi at the in laws! Awesome! May not have internet for next few days though so dont think i have forgtten any of you.  

Kat - i am totally ocd! Smarties, lining things up, cutlery - all perfectly normal in a squirrel household! Am total perfectionist, and you should see me lining up surgical instruments on my operating table, all in a specific order! Nothing wrong with ocd i reckon! Ooh, your bee story has made me chuckle about them snuggling up together. Sad for the ones that die, but hopefully some of them will be ok and happy after cuddling for so long. I would be - I love cuddles. So you and curly sound very creative? Beads? Jewellery? Must see some of your work! Awesome sideline. Am the least creative creature in the world. Twin got all that creativity, as well as functioning ovaries! You are sounding like you are coping, and being at home with your pooch sounds perfect. Pat him for me, and give yourself a  . Loads of love and thanks for the good luck in spain. Xx

Honor - i am copying you! Inspired! We are going to adopt a rescue cat! He is also black and white, and we are calling him Colin! We can be kitty mummies together! I personally love silly man names for cats eg Bernard, Leonard, Lionel, Dave, Percy, Ernest, etc! Maybe our kitties can provide purring and happiness so we can have a successful 2012. Am jealous of your bristol cake mission with kat! We must do another ff meet up this year.   xx

Pooky - all sounds amazing! So happy for you xx

Curly one - ooh, creative jewellery making and ocd too?! Awesome! I may be in need of some new jewellery good luck charms this year, am a bit of a nightmare with good luck trinkets and keeping them all lined up specifically on my bed side table! It looks like a shrine! Thanks for being positive for me,   xx

Maisiemoo - health kick it is. As soon as I eat this piece of chocolate and drink some more wine. Oops, fallen off wagon already! Once I am back from Spain, we can try to motivate each other! Hope you are feeling ok and looking ahead now this new year xx

Everyone - hello! Crikey, ears nearly bleeding from in laws chatting hence escaped. Not sure if will get on internet in next few days but must have my fix so will hack into someones wi fi once we move from here.  Thinking of you all. FYI my favourite smartie colour is blue. Yours? Smarties or M and Ms? For me, smarties. Now, little warning, am sure will have melt down in next week due to either twin giving birth, or appointment going badly. Fingers crossed I am mistaken with regards melt down. Will endeavor to be grown up about it all. Lots and lots of love to you all, Squirrel xxxx


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## Honor77

He he, *Squirrel*, Colin the Cat! How cool! How old is he? We can definitely play at mummies with our kitties! Play date? 

I've managed to win DH over to Casper, tho' am still angling for Gustave .

Smarties: It's been a while... BUT am supermarket bound tomorrow morning so will stock up on some and let you know! Def. Smarties over M&Ms though!

We MUST and WILL arrange another Cheesecake Fest. I will get back to you once  is here, am afraid I've turned into a bit of a boy and can only think about one big thing at a time these days.

Be brave during your visit with the in-laws and extra brave for your appointment . I'm sure it'll be promising news . And you ARE being grown-up about everything! Don't worry about any potential meltdowns - you know where to come for comforting hugs, words and cake!

xxx


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## 1972

Lol to you all re OCD.... I'm the queen. My square coasters have to line up with the corner of the coffee table. When not used, they have to go away, even if I know they are coming out again. When I draw curtains I have to spread them out evenly so they are all neat in the folds... I have to plump cushions on sofa before bed.... I have to have things in a certain place or they will aggravate me so I can't relax, ie dh pulled out wifi router thing the other day to reboot it and didn't put it back properly.. I had to get up and straighten it as it bothered me too much.  I'll rearrange cutlery in dishwasher If dh has loaded it... I will check back door s locked if dh as locked it or I stress about it.   that's just for starters !!!!

We are all loopy!!!!!


----------



## Pookychops

Ha ha Maisie, you're  right we are all a bit loopy! How are you feeling today?

Honor and squirrel - fab news re kittens. And you've copied me with black and white ones. They are so sweet and provide hours of entertainment. Just watch the curtains - Bessie still tries to climb ours! Oh and the look on their faces when you give them something like salmon for the first time - they look so sweet. 

Ned is quite a good name. Our neighbour insists on calling Archie figaro. When we named Charlie he was hiding under the bed and we were calling names out to him and he looked up at Charlie and that was how he got his name. He had been meerza for the first four years of his life but we didn't like that name.

Squirrel- thinking of you for Monday. I'm sure it will all be fine and they will develop a super duper plan for you and you'll get pregnant. Trust me, I'm a forecaster!  Meltdowns are to be expected when siblings pop one out - its completely normal  

As for smarties - I'm not fussy. They all taste the same and the more in the mouth at any time the better   I like playing the revel game in the cinema. I have to guess what it is before I bite into it!

Curlyone - sounds like things are in the up with job prospects, getting rid of hidden c, things can only continue to improve!

Love and hugs to all xxx


----------



## Big hat

Maisie - I do think our DH's need medals for putting up with their OCD wives  , either that or, girls, we've all gone and got ourselves OCD blokes, not quite the rebels we all dreamt of when teenagers! 

Kat - oo, you could do something based on the smarties debacle - at least then it would always put a smile on your face about your OCDness (best to put a few extra blue ones on there).....I normally work with silver so go to Cooksons for the bullion, and Bellore for beads etc - both in Hatton Garden but, there's also a snazzy shop in Seven Dials (Covent Garden).... Honor, maybe when DH and I get mobile again (and have holibobs, we may pop into Bristol and see the bead shop there  ).

Squirrel - good luck trinkets - well, I can send you all a virtual silver oak leak pendant (I gave one to a few select friends for crimbo - based partly on the 'great oak trees from tiny acorns grow' phrase and partly on one of Karen's sayings about how you can not restart your beginning but you can start your ending anew) - they seem to have gone down well.  I suppose, in one way, your in-laws never shutting up is stopping you from over thinking    . I can only do M&M's if they have peanuts in....

Honor - I'm sure something will come up in the UK for DH, and Gustave (!!!!!) will be a further root you have to keep you here.x

Yes Pooky, certainly feels like things are getting easier - phew!

Btw - am loving all of the furbaby names.

hugs

Curlyone
xx


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## Nordickat

Squirrel - I'm not at all creative, its just therapeutic to be surrounded by beautiful shiny things that you can touch   . You won't get stressed after Spain as it will be good news. There is no reason at all for it not to be you that gets the next BFP   

Pooky - We don't get Revels here. We hardly go to the movies anymore because there is no point if you can't eat Revels!

Curly - thanks for the tips. I'll see if they have websites and continue to save the world economy   

I've been completely knocked off my perch this morning. I just found out that out of my original tx buddies I am the only one not to be a mummy. The others have all managed it twice over in the time I've failed 9 times. Actually thats not true as I had had 3 failures before they even started. How is that fair? One has 4 children now and I have none   . Then I bumped into one of DHs friends on the bus and had to listen for 20 minutes about how wonderful Christmas was with their adoptive little son, despite DH telling him several times that it hurts me to hear it all of the time. The the final straw was my boss and her huge bump as I walked through the door to work. And to make things even worse I even developed a Smartie shaped belly   . Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Have a nice day everyone, Katxxx


----------



## Honor77

Oh *Kat* ... That is one of my worst fears, being the only one not to go on to have a successful pregnancy and a baby in my arms to show for it, so I can't begin to imagine how much it must hurt when you've been through so very much . But hey, less of the "don't cry, don't cry" - _DO_ cry! I know everyone's different and it may well not work for you, but if that's what you feel like you want to do, then it's probably what you need to do. It won't make the hurting magically disappear (if only...) but should to some degree be therapeutic. And what are you doing in work, young lady ? If I were you, I'd go straight back home, get some pooch huggles, take him for a walk, have a good cry, eat some cake and go along to your doctor's appointment and get him/her to help make Kat's world that little more bearable right now .

*Curly*: What's a silver oak leaf pendant look like? Sounds lovely . And what a great present to give to your friends!

I know I said I was going to wait until after  (currently trending as "Casper") had arrived to see about arranging the next Cheesecake Fest, but it sounds like with, and perhaps despite of the start of the new year, a few of us could do with something special and fun to look forward to, so... How about it?! Shall we start formulating a plan ?!
As previously suggested, I'm more than happy to arrange something in Bristol. However, given most people are around London area, it may be "easiest" all round to arrange in London again? Plus I always like having days away to look forward to, given we never go very far otherwise... Perhaps we could put it to the vote: Bristol or London to see what works best for most/what most would prefer?
As for when, I'm very impatient to see everyone again and so was wondering about end of Feb. (25th) or 2nd weekend in March (10th) (1st weekend is my birthday so prefer to keep free)? Again, perhaps think of a few dates and put to the vote, like last time?
How did we get a voting thingy again last time ? For now I vote we set one up again to vote where, and once we have a place, we do a second one to vote when?

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Kat, don't give up hope, please. Do have a cry, or do kick the paperbin (if that is a shorter and more effective release of the mix of emotions you're feeling). I think we all know the feeling of seeing an ever increasing number of children appear in our lives while we and DH seem to be stuck on the starting line waiting for our turn. Am I wrong in thinking that you are not ready to give up on this journey just yet? In an earlier post you said you had looked at Serum, amongst other clinics; all the girls from my last clinic (who also got bfn's) who have gone on to there have got bfp's, admittedly for DEIVF/FET but, it does seem to have good results (sorry Mini if I'm not supposed to talk about other clinics). But, maybe, if you do want to try another place, that Kat brain could be put to good use researching, having a chat to the clinic, preparing your argument and talking to DH. Quite a few use the opportunity to have a holiday there (and Greece is a beautiful place to go to - go to Delphi to see the original site of the Olympics in 2012?). I'm really hoping that doesn't come across as trite or over simplistic a response, as it really isn't meant to be .

Honor - sounds a fab idea about meeting up. Didn't Maisie mute 25 Feb as the date for her birthday party? *Maisie?* - do you need us to turn up, en mass, like in Reservoir Dogs, Ms Pink, Ms Orange, Ms Blue etc (only this time reflecting smarties as opposed to criminals)?

Honor - I've changed my avatar to show the prototype silver oakleaf - it is the largest of the one's I've made, and I wasn't sure how it would work out - as DH says, some of our friends are a bit more subtle than me so I had to make them smaller ones. I think, however, that I am a big canvas so deserve big jewellery .

hugs to all

Curlyone
xx


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## Honor77

Ooops... sorry, *Maisie*... Dates in March then??

Lovely, *Curly*  - you're so clever!

 coming tomorrow morning now ! Jury still out on name . DH has just handed me PDF of cat names...

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello darlings,

Kat-you poor thing. Talk about the world conspiring to create as much upset in one day as possible. I am furious for you. You being upset about your friends achieving multiple pregnancies, is perfectly reasonable and normal. you are right - it is horrendously unfair, and i hate the world for doing that to you. Add that to pregnant boss and stupid friends who bang on about their happiness - all adds up to such a traumatic day. I really feel for you, and wish we could do something or say something to help. You know how much we love you, and i am so sorry that everything has made you feel so bad. It isnt your fault, you know. You have done everything you can to make it be ok. Huge hugs, am here anytime xx

Honor - awesome planning, and count me in if i can xx ps enjoy your new kitten xx

Curly - awesome necklace, love it! You are a clever thing. Hope your antibiotics are not upsetting your tummy and dh is ok xx

Everyone - lots of love xx


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## Hulagirl

Evening buds! 
Hope you are all well.

Pooky - only just logged in this week - had to read through about 6  pages with baited breath to get to the page when you said things were ok and you saw the pookettes and their new measurements. Phew - im so glad all is ok, long may it continue and that the pookettes snuggle tightly and grow, grow ,grow! Hope DH  has a great time in Japan. Hope you are ok without him, if you need company we are all here! Its funny but when my DH goes away with work sometimes i quite enjoy a few days to myself. I end up loosing track of time and go to bed late on school nights then cant get up in the morning for work! starfishing in the bed is nice sometimes too! 

Honor & Squirrel - oooh kitty how exciting! I have 2 cats who are nearly 8. They are lovely and its nice to come home to them even if they have ripped up the stairs carpet and sicked up a few furballs! Names.....ooh what would i choose?? A friend of mine had one called Elvis. I also like human names, i think Frank, Rodney and Brian are quite good too . Somebody i knew had cats called Frank and Pat (eastenders). Loving Caspar and Colin though they are up there at the top of the list for me.Someone in the vets the other day had a cat called Moet as in champagne which i quite liked too. 

Kat - hope you are feeling better. I think we all have our ocd tendencys, i have to check the doors are locked about a hundred times, then i end up going back upstairs before i leave the house to make sure the iron is off and that my hair straighteners are off as well. Luckily we changed from a gas ring hob to an induction hob so at least that is one thing off my list! seriously though, i hope you manage to get some things shared with your Dr/counsellor and a chance to get some things straight in your head.

Curlyone - loving the oakleaf, you are creative!

Maisie - im with you on the diet, although ive just had some jammie dodgers oops. Its ridiculous the amount of naughtiness we have in the cupboards leftover from christmas.
This is a bit random but im just watching an old episode of Hi-de-Hi and its so bonkers. Did these holiday camps really exist in the  50's! ha so funny, they are having a cake eating competition and they are all covered in cake!

Hello all you other buds. Hope you are all well, woo hoo for the weekend, even though its been a shorter week its felt quite long.

AFM - i phoned Guys today to start the ball rolling for our next cycle. Im not sure what their view is going to be as i would like to do a fresh cycle rather than use the 2 frosties that we have. Just from what i have read on here i think if we had a few more frosties we would go for FET but as i know of a few whose eggs havent survived the thaw and as there are 2 there could be a chance that they dont make it. So fingers crossed they are ok with that and hopefully we will get a call next week with some dates and further details. I am wondering what they might change for this cycle as i had quite a few immature eggs last time. I must dig out my last schedule and see how everything fits in again. Will need to get out the list of excuses again for not boozing, luckily winter can be a fairly unsociable/detoxing/dieting time of year.

Sounds great for a meet up and London is perfect for me although if there are suggestions for somewhere else i should be ok for travelling too. Im guessing early March all being well i may be having ET or on 2ww but fingers crossed that shouldnt stop me doing anything.
Also thinking in March Hanna is going back to Finland - arent you Hanna? Would be great to fit something in before you go?

Hope you buds all have a lovely weekend - is anyone up to much?
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## 1972

Hi buds

Yes, 25th feb is 40th bay party!!!!! Whoooooop. Of course no one is welcome , be loving to see by buds again. But its in Hertfordshire so may be to far for people. 

March good for me and London probs best but ok to travel too . 

Kat -   keep smiling sweetie and eating those smarties.   I'm so sorry you are finding it tough, but don't under estimate yourself. I think you are doing fantastically and better than you realise xxxxx

Catch up more tomorrow buds x


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## 1972

Frigging iPad!!!!!!!!

That should be anyone welcome, not no one


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## Honor77

Admit it *maisie*, you just don't like us  ! I'm afraid I won't be able to make your party, but will hopefully see you soon afterwards anyhow .

*Kat*: You there and ok? I hope I didn't come across as bossy and/or in any way insensitive yesterday  - I'm just cross at the world on your behalf that life can be so b!oody unfair and want you to be able to feel free to do whatever it is you need to do and to get all the best possible help you can ...

*Hula*: Great news that you're planning a new cycle! Sorry I can't help you on your fresh vs frozen dilemma, but it sounds like you're rationalising it well and that a fresh cycle sounds like a good bet . Hope your call comes early in the week so you have a concrete plan to go soon!

So, how do I set up a voting thing to vote on where ?

We're all ready for Casper (name subject to change on arrival )! I've woken up early this morning, all excited! Am tired though, so did try reading in bed by torchlight so as not to disturb DH but the batteries ran out . Oh well, I can take a cat nap later with kitty .

It's been quite quiet on here of late; I hope everyone lurking and otherwise "absent" Buds are doing ok . In particular *Kat* and *Lynn* who've been having an especially tough time of late, our thoughts are with you .

Have a good Saturday Buds!

xxx


----------



## 1972

Good luck with caspers arrival honor  

I did the last vote. I had to start a new subject and add a vote to it... Only prob is that was when we were on our own forum, now we are on more public chitter chatter one anyone could see? May be easier to do through here or if do add to this forum.. Call it original buds of may catch up or something And everyone will have to look out for it...

Can I ask you buds opinion ...... I know a few of you were taking DHEA before. I did last round and I've now run out. I don't know whether to bother again.. Do you buds ?

I'm on pregnacare conception, l-arginine, propolis, co enzyme q-10 and vitalise capsules ( superfoods , grasses etc in a capsule  ).. What do you lot take


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## squirrel2010

Hi buddies,
Kat - you hanging in there angel? Loads of love xx

Honor - have a lovely day with your kittie xx

Maisiemoo - i have some dhea you can have - two pots of the stuff. I am on omega 3 and evening primrose oil, co enzyme q ten, zinc and vitamin c, and selenium.  Wow, your 40th should be a time to celebrate getting rid of the thirties and all the horrors - and looking ahead to what you can achieve. Dont run the risk of hating your fortieth because it is only a number! Two of my best buds got pg at 40 and look fabulous.keep us posted on meeting up xx

Hula - good luck with planning your new cycle. You sound very positive and that is fantastic. Keep up the good work   xx

As for me. I need some help. Sister gave birth today and as expected, melt down. I just feel like such a failure compared with her, and that I cant ever give my family what she can. Being her twin is just the biggest stab in the heart. I cant stop comparing myself to her and in every single way, I come out lacking. I wish I was her. Why is the world so cruel to us? I know I havent been through much in the ivf journey compared with some of you, and .i have no right to moan, but i just am in such a state. Typically, all this news comes just before my appointment and I just dont even think I have the strength to go. Why does it have to be so hard for some people, and others have it so easy? I hate this unfair world.   xx


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## 1972

Oh squirrel honey   life is so cruel and it must be so hard for you with the news... Please don't try to compare yourself too much, your family will never say that you can't give them what she can. I have no doubt parents, grandparents, brothers , sisters love us all no matter what. 

There isn't a great deal I can say but in words of hypno women... This is not the worst thing that can happen, it just feels like it right now. You have a wonderful DH , family, friends, job, health. You are the brave squirrel who is coping so well and use this as inspiration for your appt Monday rather than disappointment and get ready for your turn  

Xxxxxxxx


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## ma-me28

afternoon buds 
honor how exciting about the arrival of little casper love the name.x and could you try the vote through google plus?
pooky really pleased everything is ok your scans sound wonderful.x
kat 
hi to everyone else i really am rubbish at personals

afm had phone call from hospital yesterday as long as my body plays ball we should start our 3rd cycle on 1st of march.x


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## Honor77

Afternoon *Buds*,

*maisie*: Thanks for info re. voting! 
Sorry can't help on vits and supplements, as decided to not bother with anything other than one of those combined Folic Acid tablets. Hope someone else can give you a better answer??

*squirrel*:  hope you got my text, and please don't hesitate to let me know if you want to chat - you know where I am . Thanks again for the advice - he's still in hiding...

*ma-me*: Great news that you have a date ! The day before my birthday! 
I did think about Google+ - will have to look into it, but perhaps best on here, as I know not everyone uses Google+.

*AFM*: I'm now officially a kitten mama again . He seems very friendly and gentle, but as soon as the Kitten lady II left, he retreated to a corner. He did come out for a while and was head rubbing me and purring, but then scared himself venturing into the kitchen and has since been under the sofa! I'm having 2nd thoughts about the name Casper. Not that I've had a chance to get a good look at him yet, but I don't think it's quite right... Am veering back towards Ned... .

Hope everyone's having a good day . Special hugs this afternoon to *squirrel*...

xxx


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## Big hat

Oh Squirrel  , please don't ever put yourself down; with the combination of your brain, your personality and your hands you bring life into this world, you save lives, and you deal with the emotional meltdowns of us crazy pet owners who get so attached to animals.  Please don't put so much pressure on yourself as your family love you as much as your sister, for who you are and what you bring to the family.  Are you expected to go and see her tomorrow?  If so, schedule the time so you go there and then get back in time to pack and prepare yourself for your flight.  If not, send the necessary text messages then, get yourself packed and you and DH get to the airport early, and have a nice drink and just talk about your and DH's life.  Monday is such a good day for you, it is your chance to start this new process for your own next stage in life, and that is what is most important now.  Once you are on your flight forget everyone else, and who has or has not got a baby.  Be selfish, this is just about you, and you both need to be focussed to talk to the Dr's and make your own plans for your own life - that's just about you and DH.

Kat - you okay sweetie?  

Hula - how exciting - the next treatment - yay! I think I would try and go for fresh, and see if there are any more you can put in for a future FET.

Ma-me - how exciting for you too - March treatment - you lucky thing! Does this mean you are now on the healthy diet? 

Honor - oh bless, kittymama.  So, Ned is a winning name is it?  I think so.... 

Maisie - I don't take as much as you -  l-arginine and propolis - what are they?  Would it be better for you if we all met in March - and the buds celebrated your 40th?

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


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## Carey

Hi buds.
Sorry I've not posted for a while, I've been reading off my new phone but haven't had the time to post due ro it being a touch screen & for the life of me I can't get the hang of it & it takes me ages to even send a txt!! I do keeo thinking I'll take it back but don't want to give up on it just yet! 

Honor - how exciting that u have a new kitty. I like eithe name have u decided yet? Hope ur ok? Xx

Mame- that's fab news on starting ur next cycle in march. Got everything crossed for you hun xxx

Kat -   for u hun xx

Pooky. - how r u? Glad to hear ur scan was ok xx

Curlyone - hiya hope you r ok? Xx

Squirrel - hun sending u lots of hugs xxxx

Hanna - hope ur well xx

Masie - I took folic acid & pregnacare. Some peole say asprin too?! Xx

Hula - good luck for ur nxt cycle hun xx

Gladys - hopee ur pg's going well?

This is now the part where I can't do any more personels due to forgetting where some of u are at. I think of u all & send my love xxx

Afm - just under 10wks left to go...... getting abit worried as stll got lots to sort out, but very excited too xxxxxx


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## Pookychops

Kat - huge   going out to you? Have you spoken to your doctor yet?

Hula girl - guys will probably tell you that their FET rates are about the same as their fresh cycle rates. At the end of the day the decision is up to you. For me they advised another fresh cycle before a frozen one because of my age and that it's better to have frozen embryos from a younger age than older. I am a bit older than you though. The doctor I last spoke to also said that some women prefer a FET over fresh cycle as it is less torment on the body with all of the drugs. I wasn't prepared to go through down regging and then taking oestrogen with only one frozen embryo left. As for the immature eggs. I had lots on my second round of IVF and they said that maybe they would let me go for longer on the drugs to let them mature the last time. In the end I stopped stimming a day early as the eggs were cooked earlier. I only ended up with two viable embryos in the end but they are still growing in my tum. 
Ideally guys should try and get you to have less eggs but of a better quality. The docs I found to be most helpful at guys were dr bickerstaff and dr el-toukhey. Dr bickerstaff was fab with advising me on my thyroid and she spent a lot of time talking it over with us and following up with blood tests after. I still had to push for some of the things though. 

Honor - how is the kitty? Are you keeping him in one room to start with? I'm sure he'll come round soon enough. Any decision on a name yet?

Carey - hello  

Squirrel - big   to you too! I know it's hard, but please stay strong. It could easily be you giving birth in another 9/10 months. You are just as good as your twin, in fact even better as the journey you are on is making you a stronger and better person who does not take life for granted. You are fabulous and don't you forget it!

Ma-me - good news re treatment. Apols for not contacting you about meeting up over Xmas. I felt rather rough and as had to leave a day earlier than planned I just didn't have the time in the end.

Curlyone - hello  

D - have you finished work yet? How's the decorating going?

Maisie - how's the soup looking! 

Hello to everyone else  

I had another quick bleed last night while out for dinner with my mum and the in-laws. Nothing since though. It's all so flipping scary.  Would quite like to be knocked out for a few weeks. It turns out my step dad was the first male social worker on the gynaecology ward in nottingham and he knows so much about pregnancy it's amazing. He's been explaining what is going on inside me and that I'm probably ok. Am looking forward to my first midwife appointment on Wednesday as then I'll feel like I'll have more proper support to help me through this. I wish dh was here to give me a hug. I've got my cats and my mum though and regular texts from dh. Although at this time of day they get a bit garbled due to intake of alcohol!


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## Pookychops

Oh and Maisie I only took pregnacare conception in my last cycle. I took loads of things for the second one and had a duff batch of eggs so went back to basics for the third cycle. I also gave up alcohol earlier on the last cycle - more to do with holidaying in a no alcohol state than anything else though  

Right off to a garden centre now - I know how to live


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Curly*: Sound advice there to *squirrel* .
Hope you're having a good weekend!

*Carey*: Wow - just 10 weeks to go - amazing ! Not to panic you, but they're bound to fly by ! Good luck with the final weeks and getting all set up for your new arrival!

*Pooky*: That's funny your step-dad knows so much about pregnancy! Reassuring though too, I expect... . How exciting that you're seeing the midwife Wednesday!
Hope DH is having a good time, although I know you're missing him . Let me know if you want to Skype at any point.
I'm with you on the keeping it simple... I know everyone's idea of what to take and not take differs greatly and so you have to do what feels right for you, but I decided that having lots of different tablets to pop every day was just causing me more stress and so am back onto just the one, which I think I'd probably stick to if and when we cycle again. But it's personal choice...

*AFM*: Ned - final name! - is still under the sofa... He has though ventured out a few times yesterday and today to either gingerly sniff around, have something to eat or even play for a while. I might see if he wants to play again in a bit - I don't want to force it, but want him to know it's safe to do so! He seems like he wants to play and be friendly but is just still very unsure about his new surroundings and our intentions! He seems to feel safer coming out when I'm sat on the floor, but earlier I made the mistake of moving too far to get something I thought he wanted - he hissed at me and then disappeared under the sofa again! Hope he comes round soon, as I'm impatient for kitty cuddles!

xxx


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## Pookychops

Honor - are you tempting him out with treats? Do you have one of those feather on stick toys that he can chase? It always works with ours.


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## Hannushka

Hi ladies... 
Sorry been awol again. So much to plan still. Gave my notice last week. My last day will be 29th of February )))
I have posted few items of furniture, gym equipment etc on Google+ if any of you close ones are interested. Came to a decision, we gonna sell pretty much everything apart from my computer, his playstation (WHY!?!) and our TV. Much cheaper and leaves us with a bit of cash... 
*Squirrel: *Honey, you are not a failure! It is totally understandable. I was rather upset for a short while when my little sister got pregnant (unplanned as well  ) and now I just heard the other week my other sister is also pregnant (contraceptive failed!! WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR SOME?!) , so that would leave me, the middle one as a failure, but I refuse,refuse to be the failure. You will get there, as will I and for all that we have had to go through to get there, it'll make us more humble, more greatful for that gift that our siblings may in someways have taken for granted. 
The other day I wanted to slap one of my employees, a young guy, who I was telling about moving to Finland, he said 'so when are you planning to have a family?' I could've said '6 years ago', but I just chose to smile, say 'that's a bit personal, isn't it?', and walked away. Stay strong honey, and do not lose hope because it WILL happen!!!     
*Honor-* Congrats to Kitty mama!!! I'm sure Ned will soon face his fears and appear from under the sofa. Aww... he must be so scared, bless him... 
*Ma-Me-* Good luck for march  
*Maisie- * I've lately been just onBoots own conception support multivitamin and not even on that very well as keep forgetting, I will start again on other stuff soon. Got a new appeal letter and doc gave a letter too to add to my plea, so fingers crossed. The other option left is to take my embies to Finland with me, as apparently that should be fine too. After all, In Finland I'll only pay €580 for FET... God only knows how much I have to pay for taking them home though...
*Pooky* Hope you are taking it easy and all is well xx
*Kat* Hope you are well too xx
*Hula * Indeed would love to meet up before I go. Please buddies put dates suggestions out soon as for me is rather difficult to get saturdays off for example. xx
afm-
Well, not much to say really, been running around the house taking pictures of every piece of furniture and stuff that are in any way in condition to sell. Getting very very excited!!! EEEK!
Much love to you all 
xxxxxxxx
Hanna


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## Honor77

*Mini Minx*: How can I set up a voting thread for us to arrange our next meet-up?

xxx


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## Betty-Boo

Honor - unfortunately it can't be done on this board as this is long term chit chat only .. 


Mmm.. pm the times and dates you have in mind and I'll see what I can do..


Mini xx


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## Nordickat

Sorry, too tired to read through but hope you are all ok and have had a better week/weekend than me  
Squirrel - good luck tomorrow  
Honor - I hope kitty is safey home with his new mummy   
Love to everyone xxx


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## 1972

Kat - is all ok  

Squirrel - hope you are coping. Good luck tomorrow xxxxxxx

Pooky - soup was fab   I will be doing more of it!

Honor - shall we just sort out on email ? Maybe easier? Sounds like early march best then Hanna will have left work but hopefully still here. How about march 3rd or 10 th ?

I will send email x


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## Gladys07

Hello Ladies

I know I have been crap at posting,let alone personals but I have been keeping up to date with you all on my iphone. Getting through work took most of my energy and was a crying lots every day, which I think had a lot to do with my dad as haven't cried since after I made him meet me a couple of weeks ago!

I finished work on Friday and had a wonderful send off and felt vey honoured and loved. finished my actual work yesterday and am now free for a whole lot of new work and lists that have a deadline. Spare room will hopefully be finished end of this week and then baby's room can start week after. Still can't believe it and thank my blessings every day.

*Pooky *- I hope the pooketttes are behaving themselves and not giving you cause for worry. I know we will worry until there here but you can breathe a bot after 16 week and then it flies by!

*Kat * - How are you hon? How did docs go?

*Honour *- Give Ned a belly rub from me, I bet your having fun.xx

*Maisemoo* - good luck with new regime and embrace your 40th and dance on a table for me xx

*Squirrel-*    Having a baby doesn't define you as person or label you as a failure. Please don't compare your self. Allow yourself thsi melt down and then try and stand tall and bounce back as what ever goes down must come back up. I want to give you a huge hug.

*Curlyone* - Fab jewellery! love itx Great news on job front. Hope detox isn't too harsh!

*Hulagirl* -   for next cycle for you x

*Mame* - Good luck for 1st march  

*Carey *- 10 weeks! Hope things aren't too uncomfortable for you xx

*Hanna *- Woohoo - 2012 is starting off as a big new adventure for you, I am so happy for you xx

*OCD* - Hey you can all come around to mine and sort out myhouse 

*Karen-* If you are still reading, sending you lots of love xx

   to anyone I have missed xxx


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## Honor77

Just a quick  to *squirrel* for your appointment today! Hope it goes well .

I'll try and catch up on personals later .

xxx


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## Big hat

Good luck Squirrel  !

Kat -  . x

Gladys - crumbs Glad, how long to go?  

Hanna - you sound so happy, it's lovely that everything is coming together !

Carey - 10 weeks!!!!! The time has gone so quickly!  

Pooky - bless, DH will be home soon enough.  Hope the pookettes are behaving themselves    . x

hugs to all

Afm.  For the record, Doxycycline nausea for an hour after taking them is delightful, not  !  Although, detox going surprisingly well  

Curlyone
xx


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## mrs_ixy

Hi All

Pooky - so glad everything is OK. That must really have been nervewracking for you. It sounds like you have a very useful step dad 

Squirrel - I really feel for you, but you should never compare yourself to anyone else. I know it's hard not to (and believe me, I do it too) but you are your own person - you're brave and whatever life throws at you you will handle, I know you will. It's blooming well not fair, but you're not alone, even if it feels like it. Example: I was with my good friend the other day. There are only 2 of us girls out of the original group of college friends who are not pregnant or mothers. Two of our friends have just given birth and one has just announced a pregnancy. We both feel left out but for different reasons. She is single and has been for ages - she lives at home with her folks because she can't afford to move out and she wants children but doesn't see how it's going to happen at the moment with her situation being what it is. So she has a different perspective but I thought to myself, well, I'm lucky in a way because I have my DH and so do you. I am rambling a bit but I guess what I'm trying to say is you are not alone even if it feels like it! Good luck today as well.

Honor - congrats on the arrival of Ned! That is a pretty cool name. 

Carey - wow. 10 weeks - that really has gone incredibly quickly. It was not that long ago that we were all sort of cycling together and you will be a mummy soon! Same for D, too. I hope there are a lot more of us who will be able to say that soon. 

Curly - ugh, hope you are OK!

Kat - I've been thinking about you and hope you're doing alright. For what it's worth I think you're incredibly strong and I think you deserve the best of what life has to offer. 

AFM - gearing up for the start of our next cycle. I think AF will come next week and from there it's full steam ahead on the short protocol. Hope it works because it's the last full NHS cycle. It also happens to coincide with the end of an important project at work so I thought it best to tell my boss. She has only been my boss for a few weeks but she was really nice about it. It's flexible where I work anyway but for January people have been asked to not work from home because of this project. She said it was fine for me to work from home if I needed. But because my work is good to me I am going to try and see if I can get early or late scans to minimize disruption to them. Will be gutted if we get a BFN and terrified if we get a BFP. My pregnant friend is coming over from New Zealand soon, and I had a conversation recently with the last remaining girl out of our group not to be pregnant apart from me. We both hope the talk is not all about babies!!! We said this and then felt mean, but it didn't matter cos we meant it!

xxxx


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## Big hat

Mrs ixy. Fantastic news about your treatment, and having such a great boss. Also, don't feel mean about not wanting to sit there with all the talk about babies. I think we've all been there. X

Glad- just thought back to your post - hope you ok, and you and your Dad are talking. Xx

Afm. Just been to collect my repeat HRT prescription, and managed to coincide timing with the babyclinic. Must admit, seeing all those babies - newborn up to 1year gave me a little pang, and a bit of water in the eye department, not just for me but for all of us currently sitting on the sidelines waiting for it to be our turn. Hugs to all waiting, wishing, and about to start the next treatment. Got told I need to have my routine blood pressure test. Think I've been on this stiff so long I can't even remember what the test is for anymore. So. Ladies, not to end on a glum note, it's the beginning of the year, and there is time for all to get their bfp, looking forward to hearing about them.

Hugs

Curly
Xx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - no you weren't bossy at all and I hope Ned has come out form under the sofa a bit today?

maisie - melatonin maybe should be on your list.

Curlyone and anyone else who thinks I should continue - My tx journey is over. Call it giving up hope, being a quitter, weak, not wanting it enough or whatever you like but its is over for me. I can't get complete closure until I've used my frostie but then thats it. If I could turn back time I would have gone to Serum 3 cycles ago for donor embryo, but I didn't. I will regret it for the rest of my life no doubt but whats done is done. In the last 4 years, the only time I wasn't preparing for tx, having tx or grieving after tx, was while I was having my personality and personal life put under the microscope for the adoption process (way harder than tx I can assure you!). I am not as strong as the rest of you and I just can't do it anymore. I need to save my marriage, my career and myself while I still have a slim chance of doing so .......... no idea why I suddenly felt the need to justify my actions to you all ..... I guess its because I value your friendships so feel I should be be honest even if it risks those friendships.

Pooky - I'm sure the odd bleed is just your little tinkers getting comfy in there ...... or practicing their snowboard 360s to whip their daddys butt one day 

D - enjoy the peace while you can.

Too tired for more personals I'm afraid but I'm thinking of you all. I have now discovered there is a place that is actually more lonely than tx, and thats being beaten by IF and knowing there is no cure for the loneliness. I am aware that most people won't understand my decision, and since its my choice to quit then I should just get on with 'moving on', and for that reason I'll keep a low profile on this thread now but I do need to snoop around in the background and make sure you are all on the right track. And Honor, if you still want to meet (if you are still in the country by then) then I'd like to but I won't be offended if you would rather not.

Got to go, Katxxx


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## Honor77

*Kat*, you silly billy, of course I still want to meet up if I'm still around in May ! You're my friend, regardless of whether or not you have a baby and regardless of whether or not you are continuing with treatment . 
I'm sure too that everyone WILL understand your decision. It's not a weak decision at all! Anything but! You've shown nothing but strength, courage and determination putting yourself through all you have done so far. I struggled with just the one cycle and as painful as that decision will ultimately be, I've decided in my mind that the maximum fresh cycles I'd ever do would be 3. It's not a case of wasted time and things change so fast in this funny little world that there's no way you could have known about some of the options that may be available today - you did what you felt you had to do and could do for as long as you could, you've been brave to do so and even braver to make a final decision re. stopping . 
I know you probably won't feel much enthusiasm or hope for your frozen embie, but I will be  for you and be here for you, regardless of the outcome.
Please don't feel like you won't be welcome on the thread - your personal situation makes no difference to - and I'm sure I speak for everyone - us, but it's of course up to you to decide how comfortable you feel posting what and when.
I'm pleased to hear you do want to work on your marriage. I know it'll be a long, hard process but you've been through so much together that I'm sure with time you'll get back on track with DH .
You know where I am if you ever fancy a Skype chat. I'll PM you my mobile no. too.

*Curly*: You should have done a *Lynn* and screamed . I only remember this because I have (believe it or not) been doing some work on past posts for our book!
Hope you're feeling better!

*mrs_ixy*: Great news on your impending cycle and fab boss! Hope it all works out for you with work, scans etc. to cause you the least disruption and stress .

*Dee*: Wow - how long do you have to go then if you've left on maternity leave? Am sure the upcoming non-work work will be masses more fun that work-work! Do you have a theme for the nursery?

*maisie*: Thanks for your suggestion of sorting out our next Fest by e-mail - may well be the way to go. [And thanks *Mini Mix* for your post!] However, I'm a little concerned that with not knowing where I'm going to be and when, I may not be the best person to organise it. Perhaps it'd be best to have it in London again? I hope that doesn't sound like me passing the buck , I'd just hate for everyone for whom London is easiest (which I know is a lot of you) to plan to meet in Bristol and me not even be here... DH keeps getting phone interviews with places in Germany () and in some cases, it may be a case of a move for him very soon, for me to follow as soon after as possible. If you like though, I can still ask *Mini Mix* to see what she can do to set up a poll for us to vote on where and when?

*Hanna*: It's lovely to hear you sound so upbeat ! I remember all too well that feeling of relief and excitment at "going home"! Hope your appeal goes through quickly, and with a good outcome! How do you go about transferring frosties to another country, then?

*AFM*: Ned is gradually settling in and getting braver! Last night he had me in hysterics, intently watching that funniest animals programme on ITV2 - he was standing on his hindlegs for a lot of the time and was clearly transfixed for about 15 minutes! Later on, he decided it was also safe to get on the sofa with me. He was falling about all over the place, purring and seemingly very happy, and then fell into a deep sleep curled up right next to me - bliss !

Anyhow... back to work!  for everyone I've missed out here.

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - you are one brave strong bud. I could never have gone through as many cycles as you have done - I have no idea how you have done it. Please don't live your life with any regrets over treatment. It's easy to look back now and say that you wish you'd gone to a different clinic but you did what you did for whatever reason at the time. If you live your life by regrets you will never actually live your life! It just may take you a while to come to terms with everything but you'll get there.
You don't have to justify yourself to us, we know what you've been through and you've been talking about stopping for a while now. This is the time to start looking after yourself and working out how you are going to move forward. big fat   to you and I'm here if you need to talk.

Honor - Ned looks lovely and like he's settling in nicely. It's good that you are around during the day to be there with him. Do you think you'll let him out or keep him as an indoor cat?

mrs_ixy - hello   nice to you see you. Good news that you can start again, and remember it's only natural to be scared!

Curlyone - you feeling better now or is only for an hour after taking the evil drugs?

Squirrel - how did you get on today? I hope you got my text.

Hello to everyone else, I'm feeling a bit rubbish so not up for a long post. I had another bleed last night and ended up in tears to mum, and then rang dh and had lots of kitty cuddles. I had a counselling session this afternoon and she said that my completely neurotic behaviour was understandable based on the bleeds and the unknown factor around everything. I decided in the session that if I have another bleed tonight that I would go to the doctor again tomorrow, still no midwife till Wednesday. However on the way out I asked about booking private scans and the doc I saw last week was there and so he said it was OK to go for another scan and so I'm booked in again tomorrow morning. Mum is going with me. Now I've got it booked I'm wondering if I'm not being a bit too neurotic as I feel calmer now - but that's probably cos I have booked a scan for tomorrow. I don't know! I'm just a bit    at the moment.


----------



## 1972

Kat honey- as far as I'm concerned we are still chatting as we are all friends, we were just bought together by a common reason . No one will blame you for your decision and it must be such a hard one to make. I take my hat off to your drive and courage to have kept going this long and for getting through it. Please don't underestimate yourself. I'm not far behind you with  chances, one more will be it. I'm terrified of that point and I'm not ready to move on - but you will when you are ready. please have no regrets... Snoop, chat, please do what's best for you - but dont be a stranger.   xxxxxxx

Pooky - try not to worry.  

Honor - email sent yesterday re catch up. I'm happy to sort it. So far 10th is looking best xxx

 to all my other buds xxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Pooky - One thing I have learnt is that you have to do what makes you feel calm. Having a scan every week for no reason night me a bit OTT but having a scan because you are anxious because you are bleeding is perfectly normal and if it calms you and put your mind at rest it is worth every penny x  

Kat - I mirror maisie, what ever our situations we are now past that and f=now friends.  I for one would miss hearing from you.  xxxx  I was watching the news tonight about training sniffer bees for drugs and explosives at airports.  Could be an interesting sideline  Sending you love and strengthx

Honor - Ned is so cute. xxx

Curly - Hope nausea has gone xxThank you for asking speaking sort of to dad but just happy I got to ask questions and air even though he didn't give me what I wanted. I have more important things to worry about.  I think my emotion was out of control as I miss my mum terribly being pregnant.

Mrs ixy - hello and good luck on treatment.

To all buds a big helloxxx and wishing 2012 makes dreams a reality

AFM - I have 7 1/2 weeks at max but want to get house everything done by end of 3 weeks so  can relax and enjoy and catch up on sleep and hope he doesn't come uber early.  37 weeks will be fine x  I used 5 days hols from last year and all my 2012 hols to take before maternity, real maternity starts 22nd Feb, as soon as baby arrives you are on maternity and will lose holiday unless you return to work in the same year.  Even though I can't afford it as only get paid 2 full months I want to take a year off as have not just waited 8 years for this but my whole adult life.


----------



## 1972

Oh D - times flown so much   he will come on 24 th feb , the day the best people are born   enjoy your leave and REST !


----------



## Big hat

Kat - I didn't mean to upset you, I'm really sorry.  I totally respect your feelings and your decisions, and if you can't be honest on here where can you be.  As we've all  said, we're always here for each other.  

Pooky - my heart goes out to you, and I'll be thinking of you when you have your scan tomorrow  . x

Squirrel - hope your day has gone well and plans/tx are underway. xx

Gladys - enjoy your time off sweetie - yes, you have waited a long time and deserve it  .

Re: after abx nausea - it does last for an hour after taking but then I don't really notice it (once I have a proper cup of tea anyway  ).


Curlyone
xx


----------



## Honor77

Any news, squirrel? Hope you've come away feeling more positive.

Dee: Good call on getting your holidays in and taking as much time out to prepare for and enjoy baba.

Curly: Glad the tea did the trick! I don't drink tea, perhaps that's where I'm going wrong if it's true that a nice cuppa solves everything .

Maisie: Thanks so much for organising. Give me a shout if there's anything I can do. You should go into party planning with all this birthday/fest organising! I didn't get the mail though...

Pooky: Dee's right, it's not like your kicking up a fuss to be awkward or pushy, you've been through so much to get here and have legitimate reasons for wanting extra scans. So what if they show everything's progressing perfectly, right now your peace of mind is more important for your stress levels. You're doing brilliantly and I hope tomorrow's scan helps reassure you a little.
Think I was supposed to be PMing you my mobile no., am on phone at the moment but remind me to send you it tomorrow.

Exhausted, probably been worn out by Ned's ca. 3 hour mad hour! He's still a bit jumpy at doors opening and sudden movements but was certainly having a whale of a time playing earlier, followed by happy purring, pawing and cuddles!

xxx


----------



## 1972

Im sure you are on there honor. The cheesecake gang and Rachel z ? I'll resend x


----------



## Nordickat

Curly   . You didn't upset me, I was already tired of it all and upset.  Battling with the world everyday is tiring but battling with yourself too is exhausting. Sorry if you thought I was ranting it you, it was aimed at the world   . I'm just sick of a life revolving around tx or nuthouses!

Pooky - I'm sure you need for reassurance will ease with time and with DH coming home. For now, go for every scan you need to feel better about them being tucked up in there.

Squirrel - I hope the clinic made you feel good again and made you realise you'll be a mummy soon xxx

D - off to google sniffer bees now
Thanks for all being so kind. I'm sure it'll all work out when I find my new place in the world.       assessment in a bit so posting now in case its my last chance .............


----------



## Jem2

Ladies,

I have been lurking in the background but *Kat* I felt the 'want' to reply to your post. I so understand where you are coming from and actually the 'moving on' if far harder and lonelier than the tx part of the grieving part. I have found that so many people share the experience of grief/continuing to try however people making that final decision is few and far between.

Jem x


----------



## Pookychops

Phew (again) pookettes are both well and were moving so much we couldn't measure them and got some blurry pictures!


----------



## Twinklie

Great news Pooky! Time to get a ticker now so we can all keep track of how far along you are without having to do the maths?   I've got my anomaly scan tomorrow, hoping to be able to post good news on here tomorrow night along with information on flavour. V nervous though... 

Kat - hope you stay on the thread.     

Honor - So glad to read about Ned.   

Hanna - Have you looked into IVF funding rules in Finland? If it's anything like Sweden it's a far more generous system. Where I live we get 3 IVF cycles plus up to 6 FET, and all meds including for private treatment is free (well, about £180 for all meds during one year, so pretty much). Max waiting time 3 months.

Also - I think it's very hard to know in advance when you will be ready to move on. I initially said 5 fresh cycles and have now done four. But there was no way that I would have stopped if I'd had another failure in November. My doctor here in Sweden says that it's only after six goes that they will start to think it's something other than bad luck. Of course, it's a financial issue too and I'm lucky to have some money after selling my house a few years ago. But mentally and emotionally I don't think it's possible to know in advance how you will feel. On the other hand it might feel good to have a limit in your head when you start out so you won't worry about spending your whole life on this... But personally I think it's good to keep an open mind and also explore your options (clinics, extra tests etc) carefully.


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello my lovely buddies!

Head up backside after trip away but wanted to do quick personals and then will write longer messages in next few days  

Kat - angel - we do not blame, judge or think anything bad of you for your decisions. We just love you stacks, and think you are one of the nicest, strongest, most supportive buds on the planet (thanks for helping me so much this week  ). Keep stalking or lurking or posting but dont ever leave. I echo everything the other girls have said. What a brave and strong decision to focus on you, your marriage and getting through it all. Makes sense to me. Good luck with your assessment and remember how much we think of you.    xx

Honor - yay, your kitty is getting much more brave and will soon be on your lap so much that you wont be able to move, and your dh will have to do everything for you   ( texts meant a lot  ) xx

Pooky - glad scan went well, you must let yourself believe it is all going to be ok (texts meant a lot  )xx

D - good luck with getting your rooms ready! Exciting! Thank you v v much for the virtual hug xx

Mrs Ixy - hey hon, really lovely to see you back on here and thank you for the lovely comment xx

Hanna - good luck for your move! Start of great things for you. Thanks so much for your post xx

Maisiemoo - hows tricks? Xx

Carey - thanks for lovely post and good luck for the next step in all this! Xx

Curly - your posts are wonderful. Thank you. Glad tea is dispersing the nausea, well done on your detox and pushing through this antibiotic mission, it will be worth it xx

Everyone - just a general shout out to you all for the support and help. Means more than you know. The clinic was so lovely, and the doc was very gentle. Def going to stick with them and start again asap. Eek. Sent sister some cupcakes, mothercare voucher, card and texts - will buck up courage and ring her soon. Right, am going to try and fluff my squirrelly tail up and perk up a bit. Will try anyway. Colin the cat coming on Thursday, eek! Lots and lots of love to you all, and I am so sorry if I have missed anyone off my posts - forgive me, love you all xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel - so pleased that you liked the clinic. They do say that that can help as you will feel more comfortable with being treated etc. keep us posted with any update.

Now, are you set for your new arrival tomorrow? Have you got treats, bedding, toys and cuddles ready for him? How old is he? Are you off work the weekend so you can spend some quality time getting to know him?

It's Archie and Bessie's first birthday today, and so they've had some bacon rind as a treat and are now running round like complete nutters. 

Big hug to you and hope you feel a bit better now you've been to the clinic


----------



## Twinklie

Evening ladies,

All went well today at scan and we are team blue, just as i thought! Dates still spot on. Still in awe that this might work...

Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations twinklie! That's fab news.   you're half way there now, of course you'll go the whole way!


----------



## 1972

Twinklie - yay! You and D both having boys... Maybe pooky is 2 girls?!! Hope the fab news sinks in and you can start to relax  

Squirrel -   xxxxxxxxxx

Pooky- my cat will be 13 on my bday next month bless her. I've had her over 11 years now. Glad to hear all good with your scan  

Hi other buds   it looks like our proposed meet the dates are split 50/50. May be worth setting something up for a bit longer away so more people can come ? I'm cincious if hanna and maybe honor not being around but would like to get as many as possible there ?? Will start collating who can and can't at weekend x


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello girls

Curly - I read your words today and found them so encouraging. Can really reate to the pangs that you mentioned. So glad to have this forum, where people get it and understand what it's like 

Kat - I said it before, and I think you are really brave. I really hope that things work out for you and your husband. I also hope we see you on here from time to time as well. Looking at your signature I totally understand your decision - my goodness, I would not have got as far as you did. I so admire you and hope you find closure and happiness.

Honor - ahhh bless - how is Ned doing?

D - enjoy it and take a year off. My sister did that with her second, after not having done it with her first. Money was really tight and still is but I know she does not regret it for a second. And they are such a lovely family. 

Pooky - glad your scan was OK. I would be doing exactly the same if I were you. 

Squirrel - glad it went well at the clinic as I think it makes such a difference. You need to be somewhere you feel comfortable. Good luck for tomorrow and Colin the cat! 

Twinklie - congrats lady 

Maisie - hi - I would love to meet you all but I noticed that too (about the 50/50 split, I mean). I work on call one weekend a month but can usually swap with someone given enough notice 

AFM - no news really as I'm just waiting to start but it won't be long. By the way, what do you girls think about eating tofu (or soya generally) and doing IVF? Have you been told not to? I don't eat it very often but had a feeling it was a bit of a no-no.

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Just a quick one, I'm afraid...

*Pooky*: So glad all was well at your scan . Loving your new ticker!

*Squirrel*: Great news that your appointment was a success!  things go smoothly for your new cycle soon!!
Hope Colin the Cat takes to his new home and "servants" . Tell us a bit more about him and/or post/mail us photos!

*Twinklie*: Glad you also had a fab scan! Does it feel any more real now you know the flavour?!

*maisie*: Thanks again for organising our next Fest . Feel a bit bad at initiating it for Bristol then backing out  so let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Once we have a definite date, I'll update Google+ with details like last time.

*mrs_ixy*: Sorry, no idea on tofu/soya.... I know soya is bad for sperm, though .

*Kat*: Still with us? 

*Jem*: Hey there . Hope you're doing ok . Will you be able to join us in March? Would be lovely to meet you.

 to everyone else,

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

quick one... hello.... xx

Mrs ixy - I agree money will be tight but I can never get that time back.  With regards to soya I avoided soya and peas due to its possible affect againsy fertility and conceiving, better safe than sorry.  I know there are loads or vegans and veggies that eat it and fall pregnant but didn't want to jinx.


x


----------



## Big hat

Hiya ladies,

Twinklie - fab news on team blue  ! Good to hear all is going well  .

Squirrel - is Colin there yet (fab name btw)?  Sounds like Spain was good, and it does generally seem to be one of those clinics that has a good reputation, I seem to remember. Also, good on you for doing-the-do as far as your sister is concerned; it means there can be no recriminations (even if your parcel was not sent with joy in your heart), and means everything is already smoothed over for when you have your little one    .

Gladys and Mrs Ixy - hadn't heard about the soya and peas - must admit soya doesn't get a look in in our house (DH) but peas are sprinkled liberally in quite a few things  :.  Any more things we should be avoiding? There's always something about pineapple isn't there? Juice is good but flesh is bad.....

Maisie - think you may be right - to move it back a little, as it does seem quite split. x

Pooky - loving your ticker btw  . x

Honor - how is Ned settling in?

Jem - hiya!

Afm - 10days down, 15 to go of the abx'sl - urgh!

hugs

Curlyone


----------



## Jem2

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I wont be joining you in March, I'm not quite at the stage yet where I can meet other people still on the rollercoaster of this journey.

I'll be thinking of you all.

Jem x


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

I'm bored . Work is so slow and while I'd love to sod it and spend the rest of the afternoon with Ned, I'd feel too bad leaving my computer for even a second, just in case anything is advertised (I mainly use a site with a job board and it's first come, first served). Being bored is, though, also dangerous because it makes me think about things too much and I feel myself edging towards panic attacks over potential moves to Germany and tears of frustration over still being in sodding limbo .

Anyone out there to cheer me up/distract me

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Sorry honor, I'm in the office today and can't be on my phone too much! Take some deep breaths to avoid panicking!  You don't know any Turkish do you?


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Pooky*, saved by work - finally!
Sorry, don't know any Turkish...

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hey honor. Hope you are feeling a little better. I've been at a funeral today   sad times. My much loved uncle and my poor aunt who is now very poorly herself , very hard to see the family going through tough times. My poor mum got upset which upset me and I'm now home and just can't lift the sadness... Life is just so bloody tough sometimes


----------



## Pookychops

Oh maisie - big   to you. Funerals are always hard and bring up lots of emotions. I hope dh is looking after you xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello angels,

Honor - one day at a time, keep your chin up and your tits out and push on through. Focus on your new kitten! Being in limbo sucks, but you will have news soon I hope and you can start planning. I love a good plan. Thinking of you, and i know it is so horrid to feel on the edge of throwing toys out of pram. Do it if it will makw you feel better to have a rant then bottle it all up! Am here! Huge hugs, it will get better. It has to   xx

Maisiemoo - so sorry to hear about the funeral and I hope you can look after each other at this sad time. Big hugs and take care xx

Twinklie - well done team blue! Xx

Curly - go you! Well done on pushing through the evil antibiotics! Pat yourself on the back from me, and you can have a big hug too! Will save you a glass of wine to have soon! Xx

Pooky - hows you honey? Any more news? Hope you are resting up and keeping happy. You deserve to my friend! Xx

Everyone - I had a little email from Kat, she asked me to let you know she is fine, and just in hospital for a short time and cant get onto FF. She sends lots of love xx

Colin is amazing! He is purring! I am in denial about everything and focussing on him. Quick info - approx two years old but brought in to me as stray - some git put a rubber band around his neck and it constricted and created a huge wound. I helped him and now adopted him! Black and white, obsessed with food. Lots of love to you all xx


----------



## 1972

Hi squirrel

Ah Colin - bless! I got my car as a rescue cat when she was 18 months old. Love her to bits, she's 13 now. Hope Colin settles in soon and is a good distraction. Xxxx

Thinking of Kat xxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hi ladies,
Firstly- Thinking of you Kat...   Hope this break brings your strength up to face the world again... Take good care of yourself honey xx
Pooky- Glad pookettes are doing great xx
Twinklie- Team blue!! YAY!! Congrats!
Honor- Hope you are doing better. Ned is gorgeous! Just saw the pictures x
Curly- Hope you are feeling better x
Squirrel- OMG! People are so cruel! Must be heartwarming to see Colin happy now, knowing you have made the difference in his future xx
Maisie-    It's awful having to witness your loved ones suffering... I had a massive breakdown in my nans funeral, I was sort of fine, until I saw my nan's best friend, and when she started, I joined and it felt like the tears were never going to end... Hope you and your mum are feeling better now... It takes time, but these days I can think of my nan without tears, because the good memories are tattooed in your heart xx
Everyone- Hope you are all doing well
afm- Nothing much from this end, been working hard, started my vitamins again PROPERLY, not just 1 pill a week   And the energy is just amazing, it's a shame it wears out once body gets used to it. I think it's vitamin B that does it for me, I need so much less sleep and am buzzing all day... hmmm, did someone swop my vitamins with speed?   
Selling my furniture is going ok, lady coming to pick up something tomorrow and another on monday. I'm getting very excited now. I took my final appeal letter to PCT yesterday, will see what happens, but plan B is now to take them to Finland, I had a reply from a clinic back home and they said transfer is fine.  
But thats all folks, Take care all
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Big hat

hi ladies,

Honor - sorry you have been feeling down. Hope things seem a little bit more hopeful now, and that now DH is getting more interest on the job front something in England shows up  . 

Maisie - Hope you've had to time to grieve a bit more without work putting enormous pressures on you  .

Squirrel - Colin - how adorable he sounds . I'm sure he's bounding round your house happy as larry and causing mischief because he now feels safe and secure. if you are emailing kat this weekend please send her our love, and tell her we are thinking of her  . 

Hanna - I do believe this really could be your year - your so focussed and organised, and you happiness is infectious! 

Hi Gladys, jem, Mrs Ixy and any other buds having a look see.

hugs

Curlyone
x


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

Hope you are all ok?

I've just made the mistake of watching ' one born every minute'....   floods of tears. To think programmes like that used to scare me to death at thought of pregnancy and labour, oh how times change. It makes me sad to think I may never experience that  

I'm feeling very gloomy at moment. Can't seem to get out of this dip since new year. I've been doing b'day prep, ordered some cupcakes for party and some decorative stuff. got week off after b'day and dh and I may go to paris for day. I wanted to go away but we need to save the pennies now.

Hope Colin and Ned are settling in honor and squirrel.

Curly- hope you are feeling a bit better now ? Not much longer xx

Hanna- times flying, you must be excited!!!! What will you do when you get home, do you have a place or will you stay with family for time being ??

D- not long now either. Hope house is all coming long and you are getting some rest?

Pooky- how you coping without dh?

Mrs ixy - hi! How you doing ? When will you be starting again?

 to Kat, am thinking of you even though you may not be reading

 to Karen  as well. missing the old skool crowd  

Hi to everyone else xxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi Buds 

Just wanted to say Hi been having a little read now and then, but trying not to dwell to much.

Maisie sorry you having such a bad time still, i havent watched the programme as i know it will make me sad, feeling quite stressed at the moment too, i think the turning 40 thing is really hard.

honor glad you have new kittie kat to enjoy.

curly hope you are coping with the side effects. sorry i have lost track of where you are re tx 

squirrel hope you are doing better with your sister having baby, hows the cat doing?

afm still in limbo re tx as doctor not told me outcome of the pct meeting on the 4th and they cant tell me direct which is so rediculous, i have had a skin infection since may on and off so will be going into surgery on tue and will be able to get an answer then.

love to all Rachel x


----------



## Pookychops

Big   to Maisie. I've never seen one born every minute and I most probably won't watch it. Not sure I'd cope at the mo and I never wanted to watch it while we were trying. Have you looked at any more houses yet? 

Are you still dieting? Have you started excecising yet? Each IVF failure takes longer than the last to get over but you will heal more although part of you will probably feel like its dead inside. I can meet for a Saturday lunch if you want to have a chat about it all. 

Dh is back tomorrow. He's spent the last two nights clubbing in Tokyo. God knows what state he'll be in when he gets home. In his last text he had to go back to hotel as he'd eaten a bit of sardine sushi and he's allergic to sardines! He's not feeling well. 

Hello to everyone. Hope you are having a good weekend


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Just a quick one this morning, as I'm not feeling too well . Just wanted to check in and say  to everyone and send out a big virtual  to everyone in need, especially our *Kat Bud* .

Am following the thread though and will hopefully post personals early next week.

Enjoy the rest of your weekends!

xxx


----------



## Karen_S

Good morning Buds,

Happy new year!

Remember me? Wouldn't be surprised if I'd fallen out of your consciousnesses (is that even a word!), as it's been a looooong time since i was last on FF.

The end of last year was really hard on me and I went into a kind of dark psychological cave and am only starting to re-emerge.
Sorry that I was so AWOL but I thought of you all often.

I've been trying to catch up on all the Bud news, and I hope that I'll be up to speed soon, but meantime:
*
Dee* - Wow! only 7 weeks to go. How exciting. Have fun with all the baby-room decorating. BTW have you sorted things out with your dad? Thinking of you. Thanks also for your Xmas email. Can't remember if i replied, but yes, I did have a very relaxing, quiet time just me and DH. No stress - it was wonderful. All that was missing was the snow. 

*Squirrel *- good on you for getting through the last weeks. It can't have been easy. But now that you've been to Spain and gotten the ball rolling again, the hope will keep you floating up and up on to wonderful things! When will tx start? Fingers crossed.   

*Kat* - If you're reading this, I'm sending you the biggest cyber  tnat is humanly and technologically possible. I hope you are OK.

*Honor *- Great news on your new kitty. Ned is a fab name and I hope he gives you all the joy and cuddles you need. How is DH's job-hunting going? Remember Germany isnt all that bad. It's what you make of it! and besides the cake is great  
*
Curlyone*- hang in there. The antibiotic days are almost over. Just keep in mind all the good they are doing, and what the end result is going to be. 

*Hanna *- Wonderful to see that your escape plans back to Finland are all coming together. Good to see you both prioritised what to take back with you - DH's computer game, and the frozen embryos! what more could you possibly need! You made me laugh, but in all seriousness it's fantastic news that the embryos can go with you. Good luck!  

*Carey and Twinklie and Pooky* - good to hear that everything is going well. It's uplifting to see the positive news to know just what is still possible.  
*
Mrs Ixy*- welcome back to the thread. Did I read it right- you are going to try again?. Good luck!   

*Maisie*- I'm sorry to hear about your uncle and also that you are in a new year slump. In fact, it was your post that made me come back to life in the thread. I've been feeling exactly the same and seeing that I'm not the only one somehow made me feel not so alone. I remember just why I started here on FF in the first place. I hope that 2012 brings you more positive outcomes and that your dreams can come true.

*Rachel1972*- How are you doing? I hope you are OK too.

Who have I missed? Just send me a virtual  and I won't leave you out next time.
Love, hugs and positive thoughts to you all.

*AFM* - Christmas and NY were fun and relaxing, and we got to see DH's sister and her family....... but after all the festivity died down and we got back home, I was left with that same old empty feeling, an emptiness and lack of direction. I started to question what I had to look forward to , and all I could think of was more drugs, more tx and more heartache. I'm just so scared of trying again. The pain feels worse and stings so much more each time I get the BFN.
I know for sure that I won't be going back to the old clinic, and DH and I are now considering trying Czech Republic. We are going to start looking into clinics there and hoping that maybe they have something new to offer. 
Old fashioned BMS is just not working, so it's back on to the tx rollercoaster. Have I mentioned how afraid I am of plunging in again!

I even started to question if I really wanted a baby, but how can that be possible when all I can do is cry with every pg announcement, birth or outing where babies are involved! I'm kidding myself that i don't want to be a mother.

So, it's onward and upward and try try again. I'll give it another shot, I think. I've got to gt past the anxiety and just take the plunge again.

Meantime - does anyone know of any Czech clinics with a good reputation? anyone had experience there? or know of anyone who has? We're on a fact-finding mission first, then we'll contact a few and go down there for a couple of days and hopefully choose one. Bonus - I can eat yummy gulasch and maybe see Prague again too, so it'll be a fun trip I hope.

Enough ranting from me. I can't be greedy and ramble too much given that it's my first appearance in god knows how long. So, over to you all...

Thinking of you all and I'll try and post a little more regularly.

Karen
_*
Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm*_


----------



## Big hat

Karen - you have no idea what a little smile you've put on my face. I've missed your thoughtful quotes at the end of your post....  If I'd stayed in Czech Republic I would have gone to Reprofit. They have a good reputation and communication is quick and helpful - Eva is the person to contact. Her email address is: [email protected]. it's in Brno. There is also a good one in Prague but can't remember it offhand. xx

Maisie -  . You know, you really don't have to have a big birthday party, you can use the money for a long weekend away for just you and DH. It's about you not anyone else. xx

Honor - sorry you're feeling unwell. I hope you are tucked up in bed, getting kitty cuddles and DH is looking after you  . x

Pooky - my imagination has given a very good picture of a baggy-eyed DH returning home (with a vague lingering odour of saki...)  . I hope you get taken out for a lovely dinner. xx

Rachel - gosh, they do like to keep you waiting don't they. Good luck for your operation/treatment on Tuesday, and for the results to be what you hope for  .xx

AFm. am off to spitalfields market for a bit of jewellery/crafts investigation......DH is diy'ing, and the dog is snoring. All is ok in my world today. xxx

/links


----------



## Twinklie

Karen - good to hear from you honey! I've also heard very good things about Reprofit. Have you checked out the related threads on FF? There must be loads written about clinics in the Czech republic. I'm a firm believer in changing clinics if you don't get a result within a few tries. IVF isn't just one approach, there are so many different protocols and it can definitely be worth looking into other options and trying something else. I hear what you say about feeling scared about jumping on the roller-coaster again, it's more than understandable. I will be keeping everything crossed for you!    

Looks like there are several people in need of some     at the moment. January isn't the easiest month, but I'm hoping for lots of good news in the coming months.   

Love to all


----------



## Nordickat

hello from loonyland
maisie. i can absolutely promise to you that things will get better. hang in there. go see your hypno lady and egt plentyof hugd from dh.
honor. deep breaths. things have a way of working themselves out. i am glad ned is keeping you on your toes
squirrel. loe you lots, and thanks for everything
karen. glad you are a making plans. a bfn hurts but so does not trying at all. be brave.
curly. enjoy your shopping and i am pleased the end is in sight with the antiBs
love to everyone else and thanks for your hugs they are much needed. my posts here will be a bit sporadtic for a while but i am reading now and then and thinking o you all.
love katxxx
ps. anyone seen 'one flew over the cuckoo nest' .......


----------



## 1972

to Kat. You do always make me chuckle with the dry sense of humour ! I hope you are bearing up and good to see you can keep tabs on us.    

Karen - welcome back !!!!!, your description is exactly how I feel. I've questioned if I want it that much as that's easier than trying again. Then I feel guilty for thinking that. You are not alone , your thoughts are completely normal, we just need to find a way to get through it. I'm giving myself time to lose weight, get back to health, sort out finances and then our last chance will follow. I'd say march / April.. Keep in touch, and sending you   

Pooky- hope dh is back now with some nice pressies !

Curly -   hope you enjoyed your pottering afternoon

Dh and I went to look at a village today where we've seen a house we like, got a feel for it etc. all very pie in the sky at the mo as will only become reality when inheritance comes through late jan and we see how much it is... Nice to have a plan though, I like a plan. friends sons 1 st birthday this week, Been invited to his party but luckily I'm busy. Got him a pressie today to show I'm still a kind person and will drop off earlier this week. Just made some parsnip and sweet potato soup too.. And thats my day lol !


----------



## Nordickat

karen and maisie. on the negaive cycle board on page two or three there is a thread called veteran barbies. we talked laods on there about how you two are feeling. beating IF or being a mum etc. might be worth a peek. lots about finding the strength to try again and coping with the bfn fear. lots of tears but lots of giggles on there to.
time for kats supervised walk now, imagine rolling eyes smilie now, then chicks movie time. lats night we watch men who stare at goats which is highly inapropriate in a nuthouse.


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## squirrel2010

Hello angels,

Kat! Awesome to see you on here! Men and goats eh?! Lets hope film tonight is more inspiring! Your supportive lovely comments are great, I might check that thread out too. Thinking of you, and glad things on the up  . Here always and thank you for being there for me xx

Maisie and Karen - I completely echo your thoughts and worries. I should have said something earlier, but didnt. I am so scared of trying again and getting back on a path that can crush you again. Sometimes I think my heart is made of glass and there are only a few more times it can break and not get put back together right. I feel like I have to carry on this path but dont want to, and I am walking in one direction and my legs keep on working even though my brain is screaming stop. I have been questioning things. I read something in a book and it made me think.  To quote ' you know what you really want. Everybody always does, instinctively. Any doubt you are feeling is just noise, trying to bury the truth because you dont want to face it'. End quote. I want to be a mother. Desperately. I know genetically it wont be mine but I can be a good oven if nature lets me. I am just scared of trying. But I am more scared of not trying. So maybe we can all be as brave as possible together? I wont be able to without you girls   xx

Curly - how long on antibiotic countdown? What is the plan after that? New clinic? What did you get at the jewellery market?! We need a cheesecake symbol! Xx

Honor - feel better soon and hope Ned settling. Looking forward to hearing from you when you feel better   xx

Hanna - your move sounds so brilliant and what an exciting new start! You deserve it. Keep us posted xx

Pooky - hope dh brought you presents! Xx

Karen - def heard great thing re Reprofit. So good to have you back xx

Maisie - good call on missing one year old party! I ban you from pregnancy related tv though! Xx

Everyone - love to all xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Maisie*,

Any more thoughts on dates? I can do 3rd if that makes it easier?

xxx


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## Gladys07

Hello lovely ladies

Maisie -    please look forward to your birthday and enjoy. House hunting sounds exciting x

Squirrel -   lovely quotes to keep you going. I always said to myself I would rather try every route then get to 50 and get angry at myself for leaving a stone unturned. Don't have regrets, all the most rewarding things in life are scary xxx

Kat - I seriously think you should be a writer or some sort you have got an amazing way with words and great humour.. a book maybe 

Honor - Hope you are feeling better. How is Ned?

Twinklie - Hi xx

Curlyone - how is the jewellery going?

Karen - How lovely to hear from you. I have been thinking about you as have watched a couple of films recently with Julianne Moore in and I can't separate the two of you in my head! Keep me posted on the new plans, all sounds very exciting xx Have you also looked at Serum ? Me and Dad.. !!?? we have met and spoken about against his will. I feel better having aired though it is still a very sad situation. xx

*Pooky/Maisie* - OBEM - I didn't watch before I was pregnant incase I never did become pregnant and watched for the first time after someone told me to watch last week. I am glad I stayed away from it before. Pooky maybe watch nearer the time if you want to see more of what happens.

Hello to all Buds xxx

AFM- Birthday yesterday I am now 42!!!! Don't feel it. Spent the weekend pottering, getting greys done. OH was very proactive and this year I got a card, and present with out any nudging or buying it myself! Oh and he bought us a joint pressie of tumble dryer in the sale. My back is killing me and I have no energy and there seems to be so much to get done, I just want to close my eyes and it for all to be finished. xx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well . I'm feeling better, thanks. Wasn't much really, just a cold trying to make an appearance and resist hot ribena, throat sweets and syrup! Seems to be ok though... .

*maisie*, *Karen* and *squirrel*: I know EXACTLY what you mean about questioning whether you really want to be a mum . I often wish I simply didn't want children to be spared all this pain and anguish and have found myself questioning what I really want in the past. I think though that it's just our minds somehow trying to help us cope, by trying to make us think it's probably a bad idea or not what we want after all.

*maisie*: I hope you're feeling a little better today - you've had such a rough ride of late and deserve some happiness . Perhaps a new house would be the ideal fresh start for more good things to come your way.
I have a whole range of TV programmes to avoid, including "Relocation, Relocation, Relocation" and anything else involving houses, as inevitably the women is or always ends up being pregnant. Really winds me up! There you go - all you need to do is move and you'll get pregnant !

*squirrel*: So glad Colin is settling in well and giving you lots of love . How cruel some people can be, hurting a poor kitty like that . Thank God for wonderful caring vets! Ned is also fully settled in now - he's such a softie! And was a brave kitty this morning when he had to go to the vets for his first vaccination.

*Hanna*: Good to hear you're on top form, getting back on track with your vitamins (which reminds me, I haven't taken my Ferrous Sulphate this morning ) and selling your furniture in preparation for your exciting move . And how cool that your embies can move with you! Keeping everything crossed the funding works out, but if not you're certainly going to have an interesting story to tell your baby/ies of how they came into the world!

*Curly*: Hello you! How are you doing ? How was your trip to Spitalfields Market? Find anything interesting?

*rachel*: How pants that your doctor won't tell you the outcome of the PCT meeting . Hope you get to hear soon. As if it's not b!oody well unfair enough as it is having to have IVF and having to appeal for funding we should be entitled to in the first place .
Good luck for your op. tomorrow .

*Pooky*: Thanks for your PM! Hope DH arrived home in one piece, laden down with gifts for the mother of his children !

*Karen*: SO SO good to have you back in the fold! We've missed you . So sorry you've been through such a tough time . It's good to hear you're starting to pick yourself up and look ahead. I hope you can get all the info you need to help you make a decision on which Czech clinic. Make sure you make notes - I may well need to ask you for advice and info on this at some point in the (please God ) near future.
DH seems to be getting phone interviews with agencies and companies in D. I tend to find I'm not often able to ask much about them, which I feel bad about but at the moment, when I'm finding things quite hard, it's my way of coping with it - trying to "ignore" it so I don't worry too much about it until I have to!

*Twinklie*:  Hope you're doing well. Thanks for the hug !

*Kat*: Greetings to Loonyland . Hope you're bearing up . Thinking you of .

*Dee*: Happy belated birthday ! Why didn't you tell us?! Good job to DH on card and pressies! I bet you were exceptionally excited about the tumbler drier . That said, no doubt you'll be glad of it soon enough!
I vote you kick back, delegate and direct - it's the least you deserve .
I'm with you: everytime I see Julianne Moore now I think of *Karen*!

Well, I guess I'd better get on with some work...

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello girls

D - I will be doing exactly what you are if we ever get there. Enjoy every minute; you deserve it. Didn't know that about peas, though! I love peas - yikes! (We did eat peas last time...). Hope you enjoyed your birthday.

Curlyone - not sure about pineapple flesh or juice but I think you're right - one's OK and the other isn't. Bet you are counting the days til the antibiotics are finished eh?

Honor - hope you're feeling better today. I can relate to what you said about limbo and the situation with your DH's job obviously makes that all the more scary and frustrating. I sometimes feel with all the IVF stuff that our life has been in a kind of void since the start of last year. We can't make that many long-term plans because we don't know where we will be at: we can't finish off some work we had done on our house cos we might need the money for future tx, we're not sure about holidays, all that kind of stuff. So I know how you feel but my approach is just to (try to) forget about all of that and just take things as they come. 

Maisie - really sorry about your uncle. I hope today is a little brighter. Funerals are horrible. You mentioned 'One Born Every Minute' - I can't bear to watch it. Used to love it. Taped this series and started watching it last week but I just couldn't. It all feels so far removed from me. Will save it for another time. At the moment it's just like being on the outside looking in if I watch it. Sounds exciting about the house! 

Squirrel - it sounds like you are having fun with Colin  I am with you on being scared about going back down that path again and being crushed again. In many ways it would be easier to turn away and forget about it but I think you have to try, and so that is what we are (all) doing.

Hanna - good luck with your impending move!

Rachel - good luck tomorrow and I hope you get some answers.

Pooky - hope you're Ok and bet you're glad DH is back 

Karen - it is really lovely to see you posting again. I always enjoy your posts. Yes,we are trying again. Soon! I don't know anything about the Czech clinics (but Prague is lovely isn't it?). But I just wanted to say I do relate to your feelings of emptiness and lack of direction. Really wish you shedloads of luck for your next attempt as you so deserve it!

Kat - good to hear from you and you do make me laugh - Men Who Stare At Goats, really?! (I like Jon Ronson)

AFM - AF arrived earlier than expected yesterday so I am off to the clinic today to have the baseline scan. We are doing short protocol so I imagine I will come back with a load of drugs and start injecting tonight. Later on if I have time I am going to go on one last long run before it is banned! (I don't see this as being as naughty as necking a load of booze!). So it's a deep breath and off on the rollercoaster again. Probably a silly metaphor for me as I love rollercoasters and all forms of white-knuckle rides. On Saturday I'm seeing two friends who recently had their second son. I don't want to go in a way because I don't want to be around their children (and DH Will not be with me as he will be on a course). But I do want to see them so I guess you have to be brave. I just hope they don't expect me to coo around the baby or the toddler. Or hold either of them...I don't think I could!


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## Honor77

Hurray for (probably) starting again this evening *mrs_ixy* . Wishing you the bestest of luck for the bestest possible outcome .

Thanks for your kind words . 
The problem is I'm in some sort of mad tailspin being in limbo : We have had the only funded cycle we were entitled to, we appealed for funding but that was rejected, we therefore cannot cycle again on the NHS. 
Yet, we simply can't self-fund or go private for God knows how long because with DH out of work, we pretty much live from month to month financially, so can't afford to pay for tx on loans or credit cards or save up for it, and have no savings. 
I'm turning 35 in March. Everyone keeps saying "oh, you're still young", and that may be the case in human years, but in fertile years I'm not - we can't even try to cut costs by egg sharing because my eggs aren't good enough, and will only get worse... 
The only way we'll _ever_ be able to try again is when DH gets a job, but who knows when that will be. Or where, and at the moment when I'm so often so down about being baby-less and in limbo, the "where" does from time to time become a little harder to bear than it ought to be. 
The feelings of being stuck aren't helped by frustration and sadness that everyone else is passing us by: already with children, already pregnant, already cycling again or making plans to cycle again. We can't even make plans and thoughts of further tx seem far too remote to be a real possibilty. 
And then of course, I feel terrible for being envious of others .

You'll be pleased (and surprised ) to hear I'm having a "good" day though! Just sometimes it all gets a bit much and scary...

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor just a thought why dont you move to another county (like essex) where you get 3 go's ? just a thought if you are self employed? I know its a big thing to do but would be worth it.  if this is a silly idea please forgive me i just hate to think that you cant go again soon.


----------



## Honor77

Thanks, *rachel* . It's unfortunately not that straightforward: PCTs have such differing criteria that for some you have to have lived in the area for a certain amount of time and others there's a long waiting list... If we were both self-employed, it would definitely be worth trying to find an area we could move to that would let us cycle again. As DH is job hunting though, we can't afford to move unless it's for a job... .

Anyone know what it's like to have a "normal" life ?! My friends all used to say I had a soap-like life - it used to be funny, now it's not .

 Contrary to appearances, I'm actually in a good enough, calm enough mood about things atm (today...) !
Sorry if you felt like you were feeling the brunt of my earlier post, *mrs_ixy* .

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

hi all my gorgeous buds.  hope you are all well.  even though i've been awol i have been reading on my phone it just isn't always easy enough to post and top that with feeling utterly useless, horrible, sad, angry, unattractive etc well i'm sure you have/and do feel the same.  I found this festive season particularly hard.

honor: hunni i'm glad ur having a better day.  How is ned settling in? have u got any pics yet? I don't think any of us have a "normal" life, what i'm struggling to cope with is the thought of is this it? if i neverhave a baby is this my life?  that makes me so sad coz my life is so unhappy just now.  If you can start to find happy and normal days then when the day comes that u become a mummy it will be a lovely bonus.

mrs-ixy: yay for the start of a new cycle.  how r u feeling about getting in about it again?  be brave visit ur friends and have a reason to leave early.  if ur friends know about tx then hopefully they wont make u fuss over the babies but if they do just  make ur excuses and leave.


D: happy birthday pal  hope u had a wonderful time can't believe u only have 7 weeks to go.  my goodness where has the time went?  r u finished work yet?


curly = not long til antibiotics r finished.  what r the plans when they r done? 


maisie - i love one born every minute.  although it frightens me to death that i will either go through all of that pain or not get to experience all that pain if that makes sense.  I watched call the midwife on sunday night.  it was fab i read the book but the program looks as if its gonna be just as good.

squirral - hey pal, wheres that fluffy tail?  how is colin settling in? again any pics? when do u think tx will start again? its a scary thought isn't it?

pooky - how r the pookettes getting on? did hubby enjoy japan? i hope he has some serious making up to do for leaving u!!!

Kat - i'm glad ur back in touch, i couldn't imagine this place without u.  u have been through so much yet u remain so strong.  u r an inspiration to me and i'm sure a hell of a lot of other buds.

Karen - loving the quotes again babes.  good luck on finding a new clinic, i think that is a good idea.  I don't however, envy ur search.  will u start tx as soon as possible after u find a suitable clinic?

Hanna - how is the furnniture sale going? how have u managed to be ruthless and know what u can keep and what u need to get rid of? i'm a hoarder, spare room is full of junk dont know what we r going to do when the time comes to empty the room - hopefully for a baby coming.

rachel - how r u doing petal?

hi carey and twinkle - any news from u guys

hi and big hugs to all other buds

afm

as i said been having a really tough time of late.  my 20 yr old wee cousin announced her pregnancy on xmas eve when i though i'd be announcing mine.  my bro in law is getting married in july and there has always been a pregnant sis at each donnelly wedding so everyone is saying it better be me and i better not let the side down coz they like that someone has been been pg at each of the weddings.  numerous pg announcements at work later the icing on the cake came last week when my friend phoned me up to tell me that after opting to not put himself and wife through fertility tx - (she has severe pcos and he was told his mobility was so poor that he has a less than 1% chance of concieving with someone who was healthy fertility wise) they went for adoption instead.  they got their wee boy 3 months ago, a gorgeous 4 yr old.  well u all know whats coming - his wife is 4 months pg.  he is upset that they r gonna have to move house and how much 2 kids will cost - moan moan moan.  dh was doing everything in his power to not take the phone off me and tell him where to go and then my "friend" turns round and says  come up to my house babe i'll get u knocked up when tony obviously cant!!!!!!

i just made some lame ass excuse and came off the phone quickly.  dh wants to punch his face in and i'd be lying if i didn't admit what he said upset me.

of course all the cliche statements have started with my friends and colleagues.  apparently all i need to do is stop ttc and it will miraculously happen.  did any of u buds know this amazing secret?  i know sarcasm isn't an attractive quality in a person but when ur feeling really low anyway this was not what i was needing to hear.

anyway, rant over.  had first ivf appt, they took my amh, organised a date for SA from DH and i've to go back in middle of feb for results and scan.  they will give me  abetter idea of a date then but prob talking about november.  i can continue with iui in meantime.  waiting for af to arrive.

big hugs  

xxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

A bit of a woe is me post . 

Honor / Squirrel / Lynn / Mrs Ixy ... all all other buds struggling.   

Im not in a good place today . I seem to be losing friends left right and centre and its making me so sad. Ive tried so very hard over the years to always be there for everyone, I was always the reliable one who helped out , sorted things, late night chats , helping people and now during 2011/2 when Ive needed poeple its ended up with loads turning against me. Long story short , I was told at xmas that a friend was annoyed with me as I didnt go to her hen night and didnt drink and dance at her wedding .. now ladies this was when I was mid way through second round then about to start third...Id explained at time and tried to organise a more low key night out for her which she later cancelled .. things have been weird for a while and she hadnt responded to my bday invite so I chased today. She declined invite so I knew something was up so I asked
, Then I got this back ... 

- I think we have different views on what friendship means and maybe we have grown apart. We never pick up the phone to speak to each other and when we meet I feel like the conversations are one sided. I think we should leave seeing each other ...

Now shes not one of my closest friends, but an old friend. I rarely speak to any friends now on phone as we see each other or text , email , ******** - its just the way we all communicate . This has massively upset me and Ive started to think what am I doing wrong that all my friends are turning away from me . Im upset as Im writing this as I just dont know what to do . Im ready to say to all my frineds, if Im so **** , I will let you all get on with things and leave you to it. I responded that Im sorry she feels like that but Id had a tough year and Ive been upset she hasnt asked after me once during my tough times ( and she was there when I had my massive breakdown on the restaurant that time ) and that surely she knew me well enough to know I was not my normal self ... no response . I just dont know what to do as this will effect larger group of us that go out and mingle and make it really awkward .

I seriously think I may cut myself off from everyone then I cant get upset, but then Im upset that Ive made someone feel that way and they havent got the decency to talk to me. Just explianed to dh on phone and now in pieces . 

Sorry its me me me. Im feeling really low at the moment .  

Help buds  

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

I have internet   . Most of the time I'm off my face on drugs so I'll still not be about much though for another few weeks.

Honor   Oh to have a normal life hey  .
Lynn   My neighbours a got their miracle pregnancy while they were in the adoption queue. It feels such a double blow somehow doesn't it? Hang in there   
D - Everyone likes a happy ending so maybe I'll hold back on the book writing until we know what the ending is.
Karen and Squirrel -   to you both. I will email tomorrow I promise   
Maisie  thinking of you 
MrsIxy - Its good to get your blood flowing to help your follies grow. I hope this cycle brings your super sticky bean

Sorry, all out of inspirational words of wisdom right now but thinking of you all and its so sad I've had to deliver so many much needed hugs to you all. 
Time for my next hit and another 'chat' before bed. Being here is like some kind of extreme Norwegian Course


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie -     Stay on line and I'll be right back. I just need to pop out as the nurse is hounding me then I'll be back to talk to you.


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - so sorry that you're having all of this trouble with friends. It's always when you need them most that they let you down. You are the main organsiser of the group from the sounds of it and have retracted from that role when youve been going through ivf. This is completely understandable as you need to concentrate on you and its just such a hard thing to go through.

It sounds to me as if your friends can't cope with your changing role and instead of trying to understand what you are going through they are saying that you've changed. To say that you werent drinking at their hen do / wedding and dancing and complaining about it is very selfish on their part. They were expecting you to perform your normal role in the group and were not sensitive to circumstances.

I'm not very good at helping with this kind of thing and I'm not sure what advice to give. Aside from sitting down and having a two sided chat about issues from both sides I don't know how to advise. I know these things aren't easy and you have tried to explain everything to her before.  I'll have a think as to how to help you.

Big hug to you  

Another   to Lynn too. Some people just don't know when to shut up do they? I'd feel the same in your shoes and would probably give the friend a wide berth for a while.


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - one thing I' learned in the last couple of weeks is that the real true friends, the ones you want to keep forever, are those that are there when you need them. If they are not there in your times of need then they are not the friends you should lose sleep over. Sometimes its surprising where your true friends will spring from when you really truly need them. You are not poop, you feel poop, and thats 2 completely different things. Your other friends won't think you are poop either I can assure you. You text, you talk on ******** and you email. If they all thought of you as you think of yourself they wouldn't text you would they? Emails are so easy to ignore but they don't ignore you which is a sure sign that they value your friendship. Don't let one person make you feel awkward through her own choice when you all go out. It was her choice to lose your as her good friend so it will be her that feels awkward and not you. Most of the others in the groups won't even notice I'm sure. And since she won't be at your party anyway you can relax and enjoy everyone elses company. One of my psych nurses today told me that when things like this happen we make them so big in our own heads and turn them into complete disasters but once we talk it through with someone it suddenly gets much much smaller as issue. I really do think you should sort out some councelling to help out with all this ........ room for a small one in my room  . 

I'm so sorry if anything I've said is inappropriate but I'm bouncing of the walls right now - anything offensive is not meant that way.

Remember you are a poop friend in your own eyes and not in theirs, and certainly not in ours either for that matter  . They care about you a lot, they don't always know what to say and need some guidance there but they do mean well and want to support you because they do know you've had a hard time. Any that don't fit that criteria you need to cross off your birthday list. If your party is causing you stress though you can cancel and let DH wisk you away somewhere fab instead.

Whatever you do, don't cut your self off from everyone as then the tough times are even harder. Just invest a little extra time and find out who the special understanding ones are ..... you might find some surprises, I know I did.

That really is it as I'm barely consious now and need to sleep. I will look in tomorrow too. Use my email if you need a daytime chat with a skiver who really has nothing to do with here time.

Night all, Kat  xxx


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## Gladys07

Maisemoo sent you a message x


----------



## 1972

Thankyou so much buds. Coincidently another old friend called and we've been chatting for an hour. That and your lovely comments have helped. 

I missed you honor and Kat but got your messages. And thanks d- didn't want to reply in case your in bed or something. Xxx

Kat - send me some loony drugs please

Love you all. Speak more tomorrow xx


----------



## Big hat

Morning ladies.  I have been reading a few posts over the past days, and trying to think how to reply to a few of you who are having a really hard time, and I think as it's gone 1am I should respond when I've had a bit of sleep and am able to give the time needed..

This response, however, is for Maisie (hopefully to give a boost before work).  Bo#'&%ks to your friend is my advice. Yes, getting married is stressful and important, and those of us who have done it will have envisaged some things happening slightly different than transpired, but it shouldn't detract from her day - as long as your other half pitches up, says the right things and looks like they mean it surely that's all that really matters on that day.  It sounds to me like your friend expected you to be there to provide the party for her day (do you charge by the hour btw?), and is now trying to pull the focus from your birthday on to her - er, whose 40th is it? You had already apologised and explained what had gone on, and now you have apologised to her a second time. I think we've all discussed and agreed that you should never underestimate friends own agenda's/lack of sensitivity/selfishness in the past. So this friend won't be at your party.... I'm assuming the rest of your crowd will be...she will be sitting at home/having to arrange something else, and everyone will be aware of what she is doing, and will feel a bit uncomfortable about that kind of playground nastiness.  I'm sure everyone is aware that this girl is a bit of a diva (is she?), and will just shrug and get on with having a good night (and forget about her after the first drink).  Don't let her spoil your fun and drag you into feeling guilty for something you did not do intentionally or, for her to make this situation into a popularity contest and exert her control over you.  You're both married now so she should get over this 'your my bessy mate  and have to do what I tell you to do nonsense ' . I can guarantee that if she doesn't turn up her ** activity on that night will be higher than normal.. . 

If that sounds harsh I don't mean it to, it's just that her big day has been and gone, fact, it's 2012  now, move on honey.....  (there should be a little elbow/wrist shake from side to side with a finger click for that one...)

Lynn - for now     . x

Honor, Squirrel, karen -   re: fear of the future and the next tx. for now  .

Kat - you are amazing! x

Mrs Ixy - how exciting to hear your starting your next tx  

Rachel - good luck sweetie   .

night night all (sorry for the bad language   just felt it warranted it).
xx


----------



## 1972

Lol curly !! Thanks sweetie. This no longer friend always has had the tendency to be a *****... When I got really upset that time when we were all out she just sat there, no words of comfort, no hug and I seem to remember all she said was she'd never seen me like this... Well hello sister, that's because I'm having some kind of breakdown and need support and friendship. But you ignore it and then tell me you don't want to see me again as that what friends do!!

Noone else knows yet but my friends are a strange bunch, they will start doing nights out with her, then nights out with me and feeling all awkward and poor her as Fiona was so horrible to her... 

I'm going to lock myself in a cupboard and stay there..

I'm not fussed if she's not in my life, I'm just hurt at the way it was done, the lack of talking about it, the awkwardness it would cause etc..still I'm falling apart as it is so this is just another little tip over the edge.

The 40th party is becoming a headache but saving grace is I have some really old school, work friends, some I haven't seen for 10 years coming so I'm really chuffed they can come and it will be a mini reunion  

Thanks buds  

Ps - woken up to no heating or hot water. Juuuuuuuuuust peachy !!!!


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## Nordickat

Maisie - the friends that are worth it will be there when you need them, like the one who called you last night. In the hard times we have to just surround ourselves with the things and the people that make us feel good. If they don't make you feel good then walk away for now. If they are good friends they will be here when you are ready. I was thinking about something else too though. When things are fine and dandy in our lives (I know you probably can't remember how that feels   , me neither) I think we tend to have less empathy for those struggling. I think when things are good you forget that it might not be for others and don't notice them struggling. Sometimes though, as soon as you scream for help people come running from all directions. 

Honor - It sounds like you could do with a friend too   

Curly - you are reading the amazing scale upside down, I'm at the other far less amazing end!

'Chat' time. My nurse today loves me loads I'm sure. Yesterday he translated (correctly I might add) 'its better if you speak norwegian to me' to mean 'your english is rubbish and hurts my ears', and 'funny I can talk to you when you are a man' to mean 'you are very feminine'   . He is the same nurse who dished out the medicines yesterday, waited for everyone to go potty, and then challenged everyone to a game of scrabble.

Love to all, 
katxx


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## 1972

Lol Kat  

By the way. I wrote the word [email protected] in a message last night and it's changed it to poop and the word [email protected] h in last message and it's changed it to women   if you wonder why my grammar is weird!!


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## Nordickat

lol maisie. i posted once about my dog chasing female dogs on heat and instead of chasing the b word it changed it to say he was chasing women everywhere sniffing their bits lol.


----------



## Honor77

Wow - I can't believe what great posts you write *Kat*, even all drugged up !
Also chuckling at your comments on your language "difficulities" with your nurse !

*maisie*: Good to hear you brighter this morning . It's good to recognise she's no great loss from your life, but I can understand it still hurts and hope that your friends who matter will rally round to support you through your next cycle, but to just generally be there for you as good friends should. Sounds like you may well also end up picking up old friendships with some of the friends coming to your party who you haven't seen for ages. And you know you always have us ! Oh, and if things do get mega awkward or nasty with ex-friend, I vote you send round *Curly* !

*Lynn*: I was so sad to read your post . It really didn't sound like the lovely, bubbly, incredibly kind, warm and funny *Lynn* I met the other month... Understandable that you've been having a hard time of late after all you've been through, and that so-called friends insensitive comments haven't helped matters. When he was boasting about knocking up his wife and his reproductive abilities, given his known severe MF issues, you should have said "are you sure you're the father?"  - or is that just very mean??!
Seriously, though, I hate to hear you sounding so fed up, so I'm hoping now you've got the ball rolling with IVF, you'll start to feel brighter and more hopeful again soon . 
Let's catch up on Skype soon .

Love to everyone else ,

xxx


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## Pookychops

Kat - are you allowed visits from pooch and dh while you're in hospital?

Maisie - id just avoid her if you can. She's obviously a bit self centred and doesnt want any attention taken away from her. Keep up with other friends and work around her. Does she have kids?

Dh home, safe and jetlagged  he brought me a little iron cat thing which is very nice and some sweeties. Ice told him he's not allowed to leave me again! Had more horrible coloured discharge today. It so freaks me out and then disappears. Wish my 12 week scan was this week. I have now reached the 12 week mark. 

For everyone scared about next treatment - I was petrified before this last one and you will be scared. So much is unknown. Talk your fears through with your other halves and I found the relaxation CDs really helpful. We're all here to support you through it.


----------



## Big hat

So, where did I leave off....?

Maisie - on a more tempered note than my last post, I would to your Diva friend and tell her that if she changes her mind she would still be welcome at your party as you don't want to lose her friendship. That way you have ended this nonsense on a positive note and the ball is now in her court and, in terms of your other friends, (who you do want there) you can have a clear conscience, as you know you are not the one asking them to choose whose side they'll be on. . You have so many wonderful plans for this year, this party should only be a part of them, and an enjoyable one at that......you have so much more bigger fish to fry  .

*Karen, Squirrel, Honor* - I've been mulling this over for a few days (and will try and exercise a bit of brevity in my answer - unusual I know ). I wonder if the question is not whether you want to be a mum or whether you want to put your bodies through all of this, but is it the possibility of the bfn and all that comes with that that is the scary thing? All of us undergo our tx, and some of us, despite ourselves begin to have hope that this time it may have worked, we may even have looked at a ticker or even dared to dream and plan (just a little bit) for the end of the pregnancy, and when the bfn arrives it plunges us into a despair we had prepared for but were not prepared for (hope that makes sense). All of these elements, even after we have tweaked the tx/had additional tests etc, when compared to those who get pregnant at the drop of a hat seem to compound the feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and upset when it doesn't work. Gladys, Carey, Pooky, Rachel and Twinklie are proof that ivf can and does work, and sometimes those bfn's do become bfp's.

Karen- While I think, one of the women who went to reprofit also did an additional tx at Serum for an aqua ultrasound (that picks up some anomalies that a normal ultrasound can miss). I think she went on to have a hysteroscopy there, where they put this extra scratch/cut in the uterus lining to give the egg an improved chance of embedding...may be worth looking at that also. xxx

Lynn - sweetie, I am quite speechless about your friend's behaviour. I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time, and hope you and DH are ok  and are going to give your friend a wide berth for quite a while. As for the pressure from your family, it never ceases to amaze how people who know what's going on can be so insensitive. I think I would be inclined to say to those who are close enough 'can we please not talk about this now', and to those who are a bit more distant 'don't go putting any pressure on me'. That way you are not insulting them but you are also closing down that choice of topic until you are ready to share more with them, or are further along with your next tx.

Honor - I'm hoping this all comes out reading as I intend it - with hope for you. With the current european economic climate I think millions are looking to Germany as the goose with the golden egg. If your DH is getting quite a bit of interest then he must be good, and in turn it must be doing his self esteem an enormous amount of good after having been out of work for a while. You have said that your PCT won't fund another cycle, and you want to be able to settle down in your own place; is there a chance for you and DH to plan a strategy for when/if he gets a job? Could you agree a time limit to Germany, and agree that all the money you can save goes on tx and backfilling your savings? Would you be able to still do translation for UK companies in Germany? If DH and I want to achieve all of our plans, and for us to have enough money to cover tx for us to become parents, I know that I have to get back to the grind of a job I don't love but pays well, and put a time limit on it. At least now, having a plan makes me feel we are once more moving towards our goals. xx

Gladys - belated happy birthday , and just think, your special present is nearly here - hurrah!

Pooky - so glad DH is back and safe and sound. Your pookettes are really keeping you on your toes aren't they?! I have a feeling, once they are born they will have you so busy you will forget what chairs are for .xx

Kat - you are amazing - and I don't think any of us will hear any different. I have seen One Flew Over the Cuckoos nest - although I had never pictured you as a prematurely balding Jack Nicholson....it actually sounds rather fun and restful - don't look out of the window or you may find a few of us trying to sneak in for a bit of rest and relaxation . take care sweetie. xx

Afm. Didn't make it to Spitalfields - DH got so carried away with the DIY that it was too good an opportunity to miss, rushing around the house pointing out jobs he could do next. He even finished the hidden bits of the wooden floor he had laid ( I had been joking that we were actually living on a theatre set - wooden flooring and skirting where you could see, and gold underlay, untidy wallpaper and bare plasterwork where you couldn't ). We are over half way with the abx's, and DH has really surprised with his dedication to taking them. I am also so glad we chose January, as we do get quite a bit of pressure from friends wanting us to break it 'just for them', and seem quite taken back that DH at least doesn't crack - they are used to me doing January detoxes. Once finished we need to start talking to the clinic again, it seems Serum doesn't retest but makes you do another course for the tx and up to the first 7 weeks of pregnancy. I also don't know yet if they'll want me to have further tests.....we shall see.

hugs all, and I really don't mean to offend anyone so apologies if any of my opinions seem a bit forceful. I blame it on my irish background - blunt, unfortunately....

Curlyone
xx


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## Big hat

One last thought, for Squirrel, (then I promise I'll shut up and give you all a few days rest), one of the women on the serum thread mentioned about intergenetics (which all of you with more scientific knowledge will understand better), and about how the embryo/foetus takes what it needs so, yes, originally it may be a donor egg but, as it grows it takes more from you and your genes, therefore takes on more of your genetic make-up...which is a theory, if or one, wholeheartedly support.  xxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi curly- you are not blunt at all and what you say makes sense! I'm not going to mention the party to her, I sent her quite an open text in response and she didn't reply. I said I'd hadn't meant to upset her, if I had it wasn't my intention blah blah but also said as she knew I'm not myself and under enormous stress and unhappiness blah blah. If someone is that bitter and childish to not respond or acknowledge an apology when I didn't feel i really needed to give one, then [email protected]@x to her  

I'm dropping round birthday present to other friend ( the one who I feel out with last year and is still tres awkward ) for her sons first b'day tonight. She is close to person I'm on about and will have to mention. She will sit on fence and say she doesn't want to get involved, bet you all any money..

Never thought I'd get to 40 and be in this situation... Oh how life throws challenges at us.. 

Happy belated birthday to D by the way . Hope you had a lovely day . X x x


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies,

I didnt manage to get onto the computer in last few days and .i am gutted i havent been able to be there for you guys. Maisie, honor, lynn, anyone feeling rubbish. I am so sorry!

Maisiemoo - i echo everything the girls have already said. It isnt you. You are such a lovely special friend, and that girl sounds like a selfish cow. It isnt enough for infertility to screw with our brains but how dare it lower our self esteem to the point that we believe we are always in the wrong? You rock girlie, and your birthday will hopefully show you the friends who are genuine. You have been amazing support to all of us, and I hope you can believe in yourslef a little bit more each time one of us tells you we love ya! Xx

Honor - i wish I could win the lottery for all of us, and make it all ok. I hope so much that dh can get a job soon, and you can get some stability and hope back. Everything you said about being in limbo and finding it hard seeing everyone else moving on, is understandable and boy have i been there! We need to come up with some ways of learning patience, i am hopeless at that! Day at a time my friend, day at a time. It has to get better soon. Maybe another country will provide the opportunity and funding you need. I hope so. I know it will get better soon, you deserve so much. Huge hugs xx

Kat - your posts are genuinely wonderful. Loving your cheeky sense of humour and sounds like you are coping so well with what you have to face just now. Glad you have access to the internet, and hope the film selection your end is improving?! Loads of love xx

Curly - think you have hit nail on head. Fear of failure got to be in it to win it right?! Well done on jan detox - lets hope it makes the difference. Thank you so much for your comments on donor eggs, and me having an influence. Means a lot.  Hope the DiY is coming to an end...what happens after your antibiotics finish? Next step? Xx

D - happy belated birthday!! Hugs xx

Lynn - darling girl. What a crock. What unhelpful stupid people to flaunt their good fortune after all you have been through. And why do family members manage to say exactly the opposite of what you need? People at work have nobexcuse as they should have more empathy. You are a fab person and you need to rise above the crap, and keep your chin up as best you can. I am pleased you have started the process of checking out things before ivf. Maybe some answers and reassurances and a plan will help you move on a bit? Huge hugs and wish so much that your week gets better xx

Karen - any news on czech clinics? Big hugs xx

Everyone - will write more tomorrow, cat on lap and hard to type! Attention seeking furry ninja... Love to all xxxxxxxxxxx


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## ma-me28

evening all sending a big   it seems some of us need one at the moment. xxxxxxxx


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## Hulagirl

Hi Buds

Been scanning through to catch up - looks like a few of you need big hugs    , sorry if you are having a hard time. Sorry i havent been around to post some words of support for a few days xxx

Kat hope you are doing ok, do you know when you are allowed to go home? Are you allowed any visitors?? Its a shame we cant do a big buds visit - they wouldnt know what to do ha ha!

Hope Colin and Ned are settling in well, my cats are refusing to go out in this cold weather preferring to stay on the bed and sleep all day and night. Think thats what i would like to do too!

Sorry for those of you that have rubbish friends, i think a lot of us have experienced this recently and like  few wise buds have said that during this rollercoaster you do realise who your real friends are and unfortunately sometimes a few fall by the way side or maybe they will still be your friends but on a different level.  

Happy birthday D - cant believe you only have 7 weeks to go. Hope you are getting everything sorted at home.

Sorry for my lack of personals Will try and get back on later this week but hope everyone is ok. My drugs arrive this week then im back on it next week - yikes! - hope im ready for it.

love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Carey

Hi ladies 

Just wanted to send u all BIG HUGS     

Xxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - sorry to run out on you last night. I'll be around most nights though, not much in my calender right now   . Hope your folks fixed their technical issues.

Hulagirl and MrsIxy - dont 'be scared. You've been through this before and you'll get through it again and hopefully you'll be bump buddies this time  

Curly - you're not blunt or forceful. I did need to go get myself a cuppa though to get through your whole post   . And good work MrCurly ....... send him my way when you are done with him as there are a few jobs I started years ago and never quite finished. Glad to hear that your bodies are temples ready for your next tx.

Squirrel - I'm with curlyone on the donor egg thing. There is no way a baby can grow in your tummy and share your body without it becoming part of you.

Maisie - I hope the visit to your friend last night was OK and not as awkward as you imagine   

Pooky - glad DH made it hope and brought you a lucky cat. Your babies will be safe now   

D - rest up   

 and   to everyone else.

To answer your questions, yes I'm allowed visitors and I've not seen anything about max number ............ bring cake though we only get it on Saturdays! I'm the only female patient now with 3 under 30 boys who wear wooly hats indoors ........... its enough to drive you bonkers  . A mass buds visit would terrify them. I'm also allowed out. There is a great cafe down the road so its become my afternoon ritual to walk the dog with DH and then go for coffee and carrot cake. Friends have come too a couple of times which is nice. I did have a couple of days of being allowed out by myself too but after some slightly naughty behaviour yesterday (I blame the drugs  ) I'm back to supervised trips only. I'm applying for leave this weekend to go to the mountains and then hoping to come back to the open ward instead of the prison ...... fingers tightly crossed for that one. 

love to you all, Katxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Seems to have been quite busy on here so I hope I manage to catch up properly.

*Pooky*: Glad DH got home safe and sound, and bearing gifts . Too right he'd better not leave you again  !
When is your 12-week scan? I'm sure everything's going to be just fine , but know you won't be able to rest until you've had it (at least for a day or two!).

*Curly*: Wow! What a post ! 
So glad your detox month is going so well ! Your body is going to be baby-ready before you know it !
Most of what you said is exactly right, and I'm also (especially on the good days ) aware of it: The interest DH is getting _is_ helping lift his spirits, and if a job comes about as a result of this, then I definitely won't be complaining, as we'll then be able to finally move on with our lives and make proper plans . 
Until we know where this will be and how long for (if temporary work, for example), though, it's hard to make any plans. Of course, we do have a vague plan in place to move to where we need to be for his job, research feasible clinics and get a 0% credit card to do another cycle asap. Who knows what would happen after that. And yes, I can work for my clients from anywhere, and with a bit of luck a few months down the line I'd be giving up work to be a mama anyhow .
It's just the not knowing what's happening when, where and for how long that's frustrating in terms of making any concrete plans for a "brighter future", tinged too (especially on the bad days...) with my insecurities about living abroad again, especially somewhere I was so homesick last time round.
On the good days (of which there are many, many more now than there have been for a long time!), I can see and rationalise everything very clearly, but the general situation we're in with jobs, finances and lack of baby and definite plans to cycle again anytime soon means I naturally have bad days too.
Hope that all makes sense! Thanks for thinking of me though and trying to help me see the positives .

*maisie*: How are you today ? Hope it wasn't too difficult an evening visiting your friend.
Any news on a date for the next Cheesecake Fest?

*squirrel*: Thanks for your kind words, they mean a lot .
Glad Colin is keeping you busy! 
What's your next move re. tx then?

*ma-me*: ! Thanks for the hug !

*Hula*: Thanks for your hugs too !
How exciting that your drugs have arrived ! Good luck for next week!!

*mrs_ixy*: Talking of which... Have you started stimming?! If so, I hope it's going well and feels good, rather than scary, to be doing treatment again .

*Carey*: And thanks for your hugs ! Hope you're doing well.

*Kat*: No worries. I feared I'd ran out on you, as Skype seemed to be messing around with my messages and then I had to go to speak to my parents. Better luck next time!
Sounds like you're doing well (??) - I like that you've discovered a good cafe for cake and am glad you're able to see DH and pooch every day. I have to confess to having no idea how it works and had visions of you not being allowed much freedom to get out and about and/or have visitors . Would love for all us to be able to rock up en masse with cheesecake ! Hope you manage to get away to the mountains this weekend .

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

P.S.:

*Pregnant Buds*: When are your due dates ?

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Just a quickie from me as sat in an oven on a data training course. Am having a nightmare with this discharge and bleeding. Yesterday had horrible brown yuck all day and this morning had more reddish brown but nothing since. Trying not to worry as its similar to before, I want to run to the nearest scanning unit but dh is trying to keep me calm. So going slightly   and being bored to death with it!

31 July but will be earlier


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## Honor77

Boo to discharge, *Pooky*. I'm sure it's just par for the course with twins, unfortunately, but I know it must be worrying . I would definitely try and get another scan if it's going to put your mind at ease.

Sorry you're bored. I'm waiting on work so am also twiddling thumbs !

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Why is nothing in life easy? Pooky I can understand how this must be driving u a bit mental. If another scan makes u feel better the get it. They should scan u more often with twins anyway surely?

Big hugs.


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## Nordickat

Pooky - I'm sure its just the cheeky pookettes wiggling and jiggling in there. I'm quite sure they are safe and snuggling in tight   

Honor - freedom levels are dependent on your mental state. I spent 48 hours under house arrest, bedroom door open, shower unlocked and everything confiscated. Then you get more freedom as you get better, or get it taken away again if you have a relapse.


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## 1972

Hi buds 

Come on Kat - tell us what you did !! Lol. You are sounding more the old Kat so I'm hoping this means the break is doing you well and clearing the head xxxxxx

Honor- don't know what to do re date as its 50/50 really so don't want to offend and make the choice.  

 to everyone else. I'm a bit better today, thought no point dwelling further as its only making me more sad so if I don't think about it, can't make me sad. Lost 4.5lbs this week on positive note. Was talking about how rubbish work is today with colleagues and got the why don't you just have a baby then comment.. Oh yeah, why didn't I think of that.. Idiot ! 

Hate my job, hate my life and the village house I loved - sold! Boooooooooooo.


----------



## Pookychops

Hi, 

Had another bleed when got home tonight. Gonna see if I can get a scan tomorrow.

Lynn - I am supposed to be getting extra care for twins but they won't refer me to uch, who insist on monitoring twin pregnancies, until I've had my scan next week. Am supposed to be going under specialist care but no appt till 7 feb. if you have any probs between 12 and 16 weeks you have to sort yourself out. I'm feeling a bit unsupported at the mo. plus dh is out on the beer and is trying to keep me calm by saying its just like before and all will be fine. I know he's trying to be positive but I just end up arguing with him when he tries to calm me down.

On a positive note - am watching love and other drugs - I'd do jake gyllenhall   and I have chocolate cake!

Sorry to keep going on about pregnancy issues when you're all still struggling to get pregnant. I'm just going slightly mad at the moment with it all. 

Love and hugs to all xxx


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## Big hat

Ya cheeky tarts!   To save on the cost of eyetests I'll keep this short.

Pooky - rooting for you sweetie. As everyone says, I'm sure your pookettes are fine  , but I know there is no point saying don't worry but please definitely don't worry about saying anything to us in the wings - we all care about what happens to you and the little ones.   p.s Jake Gyllenhall - absobloominlootely!

For the rest of you, I'm keeping to my word and saying nothing for another day - nuthin, nadda, zip    ...till tomorrow.

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Pooky the worry and heartache is still there even when u do fall pg. we all need support no matter what stage we r at. U have been there and done that and now u need a wee bit extra support coz ur darling ooo kettles r giving u some extra worry. We r all friends who understand what each other have been through. 

So my petal. If u have worries voice away. U will always have someone here with a good piece of advice waiting and one day if it happens for anyone else u will be there and understand that type of worry that bud is going through. 

We r all at different stages of our hourney but that's the glue that keeps us together. There is always someone who will empathise and reassure. 

Big hugs.


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## Nordickat

Pooky - I hope you get another scan today  . You can 'go on about' it all you like on here. If I'm having a tough day then I just skip posts likely to have baby updates. I just read the responses to you all to find out if you are ok or not ....... maybe thats bad manners   . Anyway, I hope you get more reassurance today   

Maisie - sorry not prepared to disclose what I did ........ it was a bit more serious than sticky my tongue out at a nurse though although I wish that was what I had done instead   . I hope your day today is OK and that you feel good about your weigh-in yesterday   . Toss a coin about the weekend or ask one of us not going to randomly choose which date.

I'm going home tomorrow   . Obviously its fab news, but I'm back in the real world and work on Monday and I'm pooping my pants. I don't know if I can do it but being an 'all or nothing' person apparently its better for me to get treatment outside rather than shut myself off. This is far more scary than POAS even   . You know you hate the real world when watching the boys take their methadone for breakfast is preferable to going home   .

 Katxxx


----------



## Honor77

Morning *Buds* ,

*maisie*: Big  on the weight loss! That's definitely something to smile about and be proud of . 
Re. dates, I know from experience it's near to impossible to get a date everyone can meet for a group meet. Sunday was supposed to be our next local meet-up, but now it's just me and another girl, as 2 can't make it and 1 has had to cancel; another, who is actually now pregnant !, is having a difficult time of it though and isn't sure she'll be able to make it. As for a Cheesecake Fest, I'd actually prefer 3 March, as I was thinking of going on to see my brother that weekend (their only free weekend for the foreseeable). Perhaps if not a proper Fest, though, I could arrange to meet anyone around who could easily make it into London on 3rd?

*Pooky*: How are things today ? Hope you haven't had any more scary discharge or bleeds... Have you managed to get a scan booked for peace of mind?

*Curly*: You speaking again ?!

*Lynn*: Hope you're doing a bit better .

*Kat*: I'd say good news on going home, but am not sure it's fitting when you're not keen to do so... Can they "make" you, or can you request a bit longer? Would they maybe let you go away for the weekend but then go back in again for a few days until you feel more ready ?

*AFM*: Had absolutely rubbish evening and night yesterday after big argument with DH . He said some horrible things and is doing his usual pathetic totally ignoring me and making sure I'm not around before moving around the house . Makes me wish it was just me and the  . If it hadn't been for the , I'd have been VERY tempted to have just taken off for a few days.

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Morning,

Kat - well I guess it's good news that you can go home. You're just going to have to take a very big breath and do it. Just think of the unlimited pooch cuddles   the. Do the same big breath when u go to work on Monday and make sure you get there with dh so he an support you. Often the thought of going back is worse than the reality.

Honor - sorry that you've had a row. Do these rows normally resolve quickly? Just give ned lots of cuddles and everything will be ok.

Maisie - I hope you are enjoying your trip to the seaside and that the sun is now shining - even tho you are at work. Sorry that your house has gone. Hopefully some more will come up soon. Are you renting at the moment? Any more hassle from friends?

Curlyone - looking forward to your next update  

Lynn hello  

I went to gp today and he's signed me off for the week. I've got a scan booked for Monday at the epu. I am a bit annoyed with dh at the moment. He stayed out late at the pub last night. Got up late and zoomed round and was most annoyed that one of the cats had pooped in the tray. He still hasn't cleared the poop out from the weekend in the litter tray that is outside. Anyway I call him up to give him an update and he asks if he has to go to scan on Monday as well as Thursday one and do I really need the Monday one? I tell him I need the reassurance and that it is hard having to deal with this with all the extra hormones I have zooming round at the moment. He then said he has no sympathy with hormones. 

He just keeps telling me that it will be ok, but he does it in such a way that he really stresses me out! I know bleeding can be normal and that it doesn't necessarily mean that it's all going tits up. But when it keeps happening it really freaks me out and he doesn't really get that. Well I think he does but he thinks I should deal with it better. So I've bought a pregnancy relaxation cd and I said to him that will help and he scoffed at that. I don't think my hormones and his jet lag and work stress are a good combination at the moment!

Anyway - sorry for the rant. If anyone is in the barnet area over the next week feel free to stop by for a cup of tea.

Next post will be less me based I promise!


----------



## Carey

Hi buds

Kat - great that ur coming home on monday, hope u feel ok xx

Pooky - I hope the bleeding stops sn, u must be worried hun, DH needs to stop & give u support as it can be a lonely time.. xx

Honor - My Edd is 8wks today 15th march. Hope u & Dh sort things out, in the mean time hav lots of lovey cat hugs hun xx

Hi to everyone else. Sending my love xxx


AFM I've got a stinking cold & feel like poop. Got MW appt tomorrow so looking forward to that

Xxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh Carey - not long to go now   will you give birth at the Norfolk and Norwich? When are you stopping work? I hope your cold clears up soon - no fun when you can't nuke it with drugs.


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## rachel1972

Hi pooky , sounds like you could do with lots of female support, men arent very good at the pregnancy support i have found, my husband told me it was my fault when i had pre eclampsia.  I hope you are looking after yourself and try not to get too stressed out with your d h , he is only a boy.  xx

maisie - the coments from work people is so hard cos its none of their concern but i used want to tell all which i shouldnt of just like you i hated the stupid comments.

honor- sorry you are having a crap time too, cant you just take your cat with you for a break.

big hugs to all that need one.

afm - didnt get funding just wish they could of told me straight away and not drag it out so unnecessary, lots of phones calls etc.  anyway i have now made appointment to go the create in feb will have to raid a few piggy banks.  have had steroid cream for skin problem but have stopped taking it as they interfer i think?  taking my supplements.

Rachel x


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Kat - glad to hear you are going home and naughty Kat to whatever you did! Hope normal life doesn't get you too down. Can you do something to make a diff? Move house, new job, back to uk - a fresh start ?? Xxxx

Pooky- men are rubbish, we all know this. DH always manages to put his foot in it .. Rest up, don't worry about him, look after you and the mini buds. Was in Hastings. Wet and cold. Yuck. 

Rachel - sorry about the funding hon   where's create ?

Honor- I keep forgetting to say I'm out with local buds tonight, 6 of us. Will be weird as we don't know each other as well as us lot, minkey will be there ! 

Re meet up - ill get on it at weekend and send date. 

Been thinking- we need to reignite book idea. I'm deffo up for a project like this, was daydreaming in car today seeing myself on this morning talking about the best seller lol


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi lovelies, 
Quickie from me, but always thinking bout you all...

Kat - i think it is amazing news you can go home - think of it as they trust you and know how well you have been doing. It is a reflection of how strong, brave and improved you are after the last horrible weeks. I know it will not be easy and it wont be good going to work - but if anyone can face the world and keep strong - it is you. You will have all our support once you get home, and we will help as much as possible. You have poeple who you can depend on and they wouldnt let you go home if they didnt believe in you. I believe in you kat xx

Pooky - glad you have got scan booked and relaxation cd too. It must be so hard but rest up and day at a time my love! You can do this! Huge hugs xx

Curly -   and looking forward to another great post from you! Xx

Honor - i had huge row with dh too! All of this is just so difficult on a relationship! You two will be fine, in the meantime just cuddle Ned and keep going. You are a fab bud and dh obviously needs to apologise with wine, chocolates, flowers and a foot rub.  . Thinking of you and hope it gets better soon xx

Maisiemoo -have a lovely time with your local buds - bet you all ge on like a house on fire! Enjoy xx

Rachel - so sorry to hear about funding. Any other options? Xx

Carey - hope you feel better soon xx

Lynn - how you doing scottish angel? Xx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds

Hi to everyone  

Met my local ff'ers last night, had such a nice evening. Will get onto sorting our next catch up soon xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well .

*Pooky*: That's great you've got the week off - hope resting up with give you some reassurance in addition to your planned scans . Sorry to hear you're not finding DH very supportive... I'm with the others: It's a boy thing. He's probably over-excited that you're pregnant but has no idea what exactly that now entails for you, or how scary it is for you given all you've been through to get this far. You just do what you need to do - and so far, you're doing everything EXACTLY right !

*Carey*: Oh! So soon ! How do you feel now your due date's approaching?!  at the midwife today! And hope you feel better soon .

*rachel*: So sorry to hear your funding news , and how cruel of them to have made you wait to find out .
But what's all this about Create?! Are you planning to go again then?!

*maisie*: Glad you had a good time last night ! How was Minkey?
As for the book idea - please keep mentioning it to make me pull my finger out over it ! I got through what I needed to and so now need to just delegate really ! I'm still also really keen we do this, so I'll try this weekend to get an e-mail out to see who can do what.

*squirrel*: How are you ? I won't hold my breath over a verbal apology, or the wine etc., but we seem to have made a move towards making up. Hope you and DH are ok again now?

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Maybe for our next meet up we should all bring our blokes along and bash all of their heads together??  or just put them in a seperate room with some footy and beer..... That way they would all realise that they are not alone with having a hormone crazed/ infertility stressed out mrs! 

But then again knowing blokes they wouldn't actually talk about us women at all


----------



## 1972

So true pooky!


----------



## Honor77

Ha ha! There's no way in hell you'd get my DH anywhere near! 

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Puuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Phew, can talk again  . Did I mention my nickname as a child was Chatty Cathy?

Kat - good to hear that you are now home again.  I'm sure that whatever you did, they will have experienced better and worse and, let's face it, you are never going to be one to sit in a corner meekly saying please and thank you  .  It's your spirit and strength that make you who you are and why we all love you!  .  I'm sure your wooly-hatted, slouchy, skinny-jeaned young pups provided much amusement and mirth for you to keep you going   . xx

Pooky - do you think your DH is running scared- a) because he's just got his head around there being 2 not 1 and his fear of anything happening to you, or losing one of them, and b) because he can't just do the normal male thing - go rummage in the toolbox for the right bit/buy a power tool/ take it to the mechanic down the road/call someone in?  It's easier for him to have a bit of bawdy humour down the pub than sit and feel helpless that he can't mend the situation.  That doesn't mean that a very nice 'I'm sorry' present isn't in the offing - best get looking online and start making your choices.  I'm glad you are taking some time out, and just resting, as I can't begin to imagine what this is doing to your headspace.  As for the scans, I would be saying to my DH that it is entirely his decision whether to come, and you're leaving it to his conscience to decide what he thinks is best.   (with the emphasis firmly on the 'what is best' (whilst raising an eyebrow).

Squirrel and Honor - a similar thing as to Pooky - let's face it men's 'normal' role is quite limited and then it's left up to us, and we are asking them to 'man up' and take a bit more responsibility - blood and sperm tests and to try taking vitamins on time   poor ickle darlings    . Hope you are both ok. xx Maybe we should get all the DH's together to do a snail race/rubiks cube contest - then they'd get involved!

Rachel - so sorry.  What is it with them that they need to see the look on your face when they deliver the killer verdict? Got to be some sadism in there.  What is create? Is it another clinic? Does this mean you are going to try and go private. Sweetie pie, sending you a big hug  . x

Carey and Gladys - can't believe how soon we are going to have your two little lovelies come into the world.  Looking forward to it ladies   ........

Maisie - am so please you had a good time.  Maybe it's the way it's meant to be, at the moment you are more at ease with people who are in the same situation as you, were it's a part of the conversation or not, but understood, and you can relax because the dreaded question doesn't come, or crass suggestion get made. Your friendships with your other friends will return to somewhere near where they were when your situation is different, and that is fine and good, and what life is like - you need people around you who make you feel good, and don't have to be joined at the hip with them permanently  . xx

Lynn - hey lady, how are you?

Afm (sorry Squirrel, I know I've not answered this fully recently) - abx's nearly finished, and friends are counting down the days until the end of our detox (even though they don't know the reason we are really doing it).  I sent Serum an email last night, about what next. 7.35 am this morning the email came through!!!!!!!!! I hadn't even dragged a brush through my matted hair or cleaned my teeth.  They want us to go over there, get DH's sperm tested and frozen, and discuss our donor requirements, check me incase I need further prodding and poking, and start the next stage of the process.  Now, being out of work means I can't commit us to that just yet, so will have to postpone it a bit longer.  I thought that for now, it'd just be the donor requirements and they would start looking. On the good news front, I have been shortlisted for 2 jobs, contacted direct for one, and put forward for a 4th.  One I am really interested in - it would put me back in the firing line of the press and campaigners/community activists but, in a funny way I've kind of missed the buzz of the phonecall from the press department with the tricky question that you have to answer without answering - just like the politicians.  So, we shall have to wait and see (after all, our next step depends on it   ).

How are the eyes - straining yet?  

hugs to all

Curlyone
xx


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## rachel1972

good luck Curlyone with your job offers!!  you are the best person for the job by far.

Men - well said maisie i didnt want to offend but said the same to myself.  pooky i think men do need the support for sure but like someone said they proberly wouldnt talk to each other about anything meaningful.

afm i am paying to go private yes it will mean basically  kind of stealing/borrowing the money but for a good cause, i have saved a bit too, but we have to pay for the retrieval again so that will really but it up.  Create clinic is in london and are specialists in natural or mild ivf i only found out this was an option this year as i had such bad side effects i vowed i would never do a fresh medicated cycle again.  I have heard a bit about serum but would love to hear more about any clinics who do more varied treatments as the the OHSS scares me.  did you know that the first ever ivf was not stimulated? something i only found out yesterday.  As for meet i would love to come but will have to watch the spends very carfully so will decide when i know just how much money we wont have.


----------



## Hannushka

Hey buds,
Wow, took me a good 40 minutes to read through your chatter again. I do apologise my absence these days. Been so excited about sorting everything out...
KAT- I suppose they think you are better now and ready to take on the world again, I do sort of understand you are a bit scared though. I remember my mum spent a month in one of those places many years ago, and she didn't want to leave. She said it was just so calm, not having to think about anything.. But even though she was scared, she took on the world and though she fell backwords few times, she has been without relapses now since 2008. 
MAISIE- Glad you had a good evening. It is the people who have gone through what we have, who seem to be the only ones with ability to see outside their own bellybuttons these days  
I'm dreading to see how many of my friends turn up for my leaving do... There is a group of them that I used to be very close to but we sort of drifted apart when I started distancing myself from their local pub... That place holds some bad memories for me from a time me and dh separated for few months and I can't bring myself to ever go there again... My friends spend their bleeding life in that place and I find it hard to believe that they would actually set their foot elsewhere... I was already left out of one's wedding guest llist and now another left me out too. I really don't care tbh... I won't be the one sitting on a couch at 70 thinking 'I wish I'd gone and see the world outside the Duke of Buckingham'   
Pooky- Hope bleeding has stopped. It isn't by any chance a time when you'd normally get your af? My sister had 2 months bleeding exactly at that time. OH, I was just visualising our dh's in a separate room in the meet up... with the HEINEKEN walk-in fridge 



 DD
And Curly is right, you should put it to his concience (and not forgetting the raised eyebrow) x
Curly- I just love your posts! I can visualise the tone of voice I'd use when doing your suggestions   
Honor- Hope you are well. Also Curly is right again re: Germany being one of the sought after countries especially suring this economical crisis x
Rachel- I'm also looking to have unmedicated one, I think it may just reduse the stress levels as well as prevent OHSS which can't be a bad thing x
Everyone: Hope ou are all doing well   
AFM- So, I've been planning, sorting, dreaming, laughing, can not get the smile off my face because I know I'll be home soon!! Just cancelling direct debits, insurances,store cards.. Sold more furniture  
The only thing which is causing me problems is BANK. I have a loan and I went there,being the good girl, trying to re-structure my loan to smaller payments, which obviously means it'll take longer to pay it off... and they said NO! That they can't do anything until I fall in arrears with my account. How stupid is that. I'm trying to sort this out so it wouldn't happen... Strange, because what I could do is just disappear and leave the loan unpaid, right? Are they coming to hunt me down in Finland? Well, maybe..  I thought I was being organised but I suppose I need to stop paying for few months and then make a deal with the 'financial difficulties people'  
We have a friend staying at our house, who has in 3 days pulled all the wall papers out in the entire house (on our request of course  ) and sunday we are painting the whole house white. Suppose it makes it easier to sell, said that handsome man on channel 4 once... fx
Thats all folks, take care you all 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna
/links


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## rachel1972

hi hanna good luck with everything it sounds like you are very happy right now.  When do you give up your job?  Are you having to stay until the house is sold?  I did unmedicated fet twice but clinic werent very supportive.


----------



## Pookychops

Curlyone - dh rummaging in a tool box   only if the computer or his bike is broken. For anything else I have to nag him to death. He's not a power tool man! He doesn't want to stop being sociable and his friends are important to him. He also thinks that if something is wrong then it's beyond our control and we just have to deal with it then. He texted me earlier to say he's going out but promises to be home by 8pm - i'll be amazed if that happens. He's just spent 10 days away with his mate and then has to go out with him tonight! I just texted back that he's gotta do what he's gotta do and so have I and so I will go to the scan on Monday. He then asked for the time and is now trying to shift a meeting to join me.

I've hardly seen him since he's been home due to his jet lag and I just get to sit here with cats and try not to worry. He's out all day tomorrow too at the football. I'm feeling a bit deserted!

God - sorry another woe is me post! I blame the hormones!

Kat - how are coping back in the real world?


----------



## 1972

Gosh pooky, you are a patient women. I'm all for having a life etc but I'd be making dh stay with me and try and calm me down , be there for me etc. I'm clearly more of a nag  

Had mortgage broker round earlier   back down to earth with a bump..we are renting right now and trying to get back on ladder. Deposits are ridic now and make huge difference to payments and term. We need to rethink our plans and downsize our expectations ! Flippin' banks crashing etc making deposits so high.  

Glad it's the weekend. Will be in touch at weekend re dates xxxx


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## Pookychops

I'll send you his number so you can nag him! He may listen to you! He polled up at 9.20 feeling guilty that he'd lied to his mate as to why he had to leave early - cue rant from me about leaving wife home alone!

The housing market is a tricky one at the moment. Have you had any news on inheritance? If you have to rethink can you try and get something that you can extend/convert loft? Other option is to go for a longer term on mortgage' bump it up to thirty years or do only interest to start. Did u say that dh is self employed? Does that impact hat you can get?


----------



## 1972

Hi pooky

At least he came home at a semi reasonable time ?! maybe he's getting in his socialising now before little ones come and his life ends  

There was one good offer, if we can get 15% deposit together.. We could get over 20 years on fixed for first 3 years.. But I just dont think we'll have near that amount. It's not so much the affordability it's the flipping deposit. Lowest we could get is 10%... Long gone are the days of lower deposits. Dh is self employed but they just use his accounts same as my salary, that wasn't issue. Inheritance - house completed yesterday so parents will hopefully get money from solicitor next week. They are due rebate from government too as overpaid tax on house valuation as part of probate. Then we just have to go cap in hand and ask sweetly if we can have x amount.... I'm very lucky to have the oppourtunity but then Money causes all sorts of awkwardness doesnt it and I'm not strong enough to go to parents and say please can I have 50 grand, thanks ! So, will see what they offer and take from there. 

Happy Saturday buds. I'm getting nails done this morning then off to meet two old   ( nice) friends for lunch.

Xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi ladies!
Happy weekend to you all! I am being incredibly lazy. Going to a ball tonight so will have to find a shoe horn to get me into my dress! 

Maisiemoo - i hate the fact that finances have to dictate to our lives so much, esoecially qhen we have to devote so many funds to ivf. We are renting simply because we dont know what deposit we will have after using it on ivf, luckily renting off my parents though. Sometines you have to swallow your pride and ask for help. Parents like to feel needed, and as though they are helping! Good luck with it all. So pleased you had fun with ff lot and now more lovely friends. You have lots of people around you to help you and make you realise how lovely a friend you are to them!   xx

Curly one - yay! Near end of detox! I love your long posts and your dry sense of humour! It is so nice I can put a face to a post now we have met, and it makes me smile. I wish i lived closer to you all, instead of being a flight away! Wow, the clinic sound keen, and it sounds like you have some really great opportunities coming up for jobs and financial security. You deserve it all, and i wish you all the best. Keep us posted xx

Hanna - very excited for you and your move! Hope you can sort out the loan issues and fly home with all loose ends tied up! Wow! Good luck with house redecorations too! Xx

Pooky - hope you are resting up missy? Sounds like dh is realising he needs to be there for you more. Excellent work. It will all work out angel xx

Honor - i hope you are feeling better too. Me and dh are fine. I am the kind of person who flares up and is really mad then in two minutes it is over! I hope ned is helping you, and filling a little part of your heart with joy and kitten cuddles. Have been dreadful on the skype, will make efforts! Xx

Everyone - loads of love. Wish you were all near me so i could see you xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Also for those lurking...
Kat     and karen     xx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hello Buds, 
Thank goodness for the weekend, this week has felt really long!

Kat – thanks for giving more info on where you are and how you are getting on. I’m glad you have had visitors and got out a bit. Would love to have done a big buds visit!  Sorry that the thought of going home is stressing you. It means you are on the mend though and that they trust you to start getting back on with life. Its progress Kat and whether its little steps or big steps its a way forward. 

Pooky – hope you are ok, im sure the discharge is nothing to worry about, the pookettes are just snuggling in nicely. Who is your care under until 12 weeks – guys?  Thanks for your post about Guys and full cycle vs FET. I wouldn’t have minded doing a FET this time but having 2 frosties and hearing other peoples heartbreak when eggs don’t survive the thaw we decided to go for a full cycle again.
Have you sorted out  things with DH ?– Maybe because the bleeding isn’t happening to him he cant really empathise – men don’t really have to deal with any of the issues that we have to go through. I don’t think men are very good when it comes to emotions although he could at least try and give you some more support. Your post really made me laugh about bringing the men along and bashing their heads together – ha ha!! Your right though, if we put them in  separate room they would just talk about football and not about us.

Maisie – don’t you hate that when people say why don’t you just have a baby – ggrrrr. If i had a pound for everytime someone said that to me i would be rich and i would be able to pay for every buds tx! Brilliant on the 4.5 lb lost this week thats really great news!! Hope you had a good night with your local buds what did you get up to? House buying is a bit of a tricky one at the moment esp with deposits and mortgages. A friend of mine is buying somewhere at the moment but she is worrying that she is going to get gazumped as the sort of property they are buying is in demand – a project!

Lynn – wise words that whatever stage we are at is the glue that binds us together.

Honor – sorry about your row with DH – how are things now? Im in for the book – let me know what I can do to help.

Carey – wow due date isn’t far off at all – how exciting! Hope your cold clears up soon.

Rachel  - sorry about the funding decision and that they made you wait for the decision, hope you manage to find some pennies to help towards the next tx.

Squirrel – sorry about your row with DH. Hope you have sorted out now. By the way - whereabouts are you living ?

Curly -great news about the jobs  I hope you get snapped up and that you can get back on with your next tx. 

Hanna – sounds like you are full steam ahead with all your plans. Hope you manage to sell your house and that your move goes smoothly. I cant imagine not only moving house but also to a diff country. Your bank sounds a bit crazy – your trying to do the right thing by approaching them first  and your being honest with them about your situation. Cant believe they want you to default before they will do anything. What are your plans for leaving your job etc?  Im sure when you leave you will have a great time with farewells with those who matter. It sounds like the ones who are leaving you off guest lists or spending their lives in the same pub theyve been in for years are the ones who will miss out - not you!

Mrs Ixy - how you getting on - hope as well as being cycle buddies we can be bump buddies ( i like that term Kat!)

AFM - its been another busy week. I have my drugs now and i start down regging next week. I had to ring Guys as the last i heard was a message from them saying they would be in touch. As they havent called I rang them on Friday to chase up my drugs card as I still haven’t got it. When I spoke to them they casually dropped into the conversation that they are running at least 1.5 weeks behind schedule which means that all the dates I had predicted for when things should be happening will now be delayed. My DH has also booked to go away and I have a feeling this will clash with egg collection which is really the only time he needs to be there to do his thing in his pot. He came to all the appointments last time but I had said to him this time if work (as hes in a new job) gets in the way then im fine to go along on my own except for EC and ideally ET as the other appointments aren’t too bad.
Also means I will be down regging  on the synarel for nearly 4 weeks rather than 2 weeks which i think is going to do me in a bit. Im going to call them next week and see if I can get a scan a bit earlier so I can start jabbing a bit sooner. I think I might be jabbing a bit longer this time anyway as I had lots of immature eggs last time. When DH was looking at the dates he was going to be away we thought leaving 2 weeks leeway between predictions would be long enough in case of stimming for longer but how wrong could i be! Id also booked some time off work too but will have to see if i can re-arrange that as well.

Anyway what will be will be so we'll see what happens, just need to think myself lucky that its a funded cycle and get on with it. Hope you all have a good weekend, im having a big sort out tomorrow - wish me luck!

love to all   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## rachel1972

All the best hulagirl , dont let them stress you out and remember you are a patient worth their respect even if the nhs are funding it which is paid for by you anyway, i think clinics forget this.


----------



## 1972

That's a good point Rachel. I felt incredibly guilty for my funded goes but I've been paying tax and n.i for 22 years and never been in hospital etc in all that time. I've had my % now !

I'm off to look st houses again today. We are having the look further afield now but a new challenge etc etc.

Hope kats ok - you've gone quiet again. Hope I scent offended you with my comment re refocusing.. I think maybe it was a little insensitive.    I hope you are ok and back home now for doggy cuddles xx

Re meet up. I'm an absolute idiot...  as I mainly check on phone or iPad and it groups them all under one email, I think I've deleted ALL of them   I'm just going to check trash.. Hang on....


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## Pookychops

Morning, 

How are all you fabulous ladies today?

Squirrel - I bet you looked fab last night   HOW'S YOUR HEAD THIS MORNING? Or shouldn't I ask? I hope you managed to have a great time and a good old dance and blow some of those cobwebs away.  Apols if I've missed this - when are you able to start treatment again? Do they have to find another donor for you at the new clinic?

Hulagirl - I see guys are being their usual selves with sort of being really organised but then not. I think the Xmas period stuffs them up a bit as so many staff take leave around then. Guys discharged me at 9 weeks - I thought they looked after me until 12 weeks but no. I did go back to them for extra scans after the first two bleeds. They have a cover doctor and you just call up and explain any probs and ask for an appointment. I didn't know this device existed until the nurse suggested it to me. Last time the doctor said that I could go back again if I needed to. When you get pregnant you will find that there is a bit of a gap in care. The midwives may book you in early but you won't have a scan with them until 11-13 weeks for the nuchal scan. The first appointment with the midwife is then a week or so after that. My gp surgery also offers a antenatal service which you go to as well as the hospital. The hospitals don't really bother with you too much until you are about 13-15 weeks. If you have any probs in the meantime you have to go to gp and then epu or to a&e if heavy bleeding. A&e can't scan you if you go out of hours and will only check to see if your cervix is open. If you are having twins or have any other health issues that need monitoring you then go under specialist care and have fortnightly check ups, otherwise monthly. It's all a bit of a minefield really and may vary depending on what is available locally.

Gosh - I went on a bit there. I hope your dates work out ok with dh. He could always leave frozen deposit but then you still need him to be there to help you after sedation.

Curlyone - how are today? Off to spittalfields or having a quiet one? Any news on job yet? It sounds like you like a good challenge for work. I hope you get a good job and can move ahead with treatment soon.

Honor - how are you and little ned? I hope you and dh are back on good terms now. We may be heading to bath soon for a weekend - we may be able to arrange a meet if so. Will have better idea on future plans after scans.

Maisie - housing wise I guess you'll have to choose wisely and then use it as a stepping stone towards what you really want. Not sure what the housing market will do over the next year or so - the economy won't be up to much. Poop to economic doom and gloom! Re the meet up - I may be able to do 10th. We are going to see Florence and the machine with friends on 9th and they are staying over - not sure what the plans are for the weekend and if they are staying or not. 

Hanna - well done on getting everything sorted so quickly. You must be getting excited about heading home. Will dh have to learn Finnish?

Evap - hello if you're still reading. How did your 12 week scan go?

Lynn - hope you're feeling better. So sorry to read about your little stray on **. At least you made him happy and made sure that was well fed.

Rachel - sorry to hear about your funding. There are a few places where you can do low dose IVF - I think it depends on your hormone levels as what you can get away with. The good thing about create is that it's cheaper, they concentrate on getting one or two good eggs but on the down side you may have to go through more cycles to get a positive. But then again you don't have to wait between cycles.

Kat -Karen - hello   hope you both ok. Karen - I've not used my bath salts yet - just waiting a bit longer till I have a bath.

Mrs ixy - hello - I hope you're feeling ok and not too nervous.

D - very belated happy birthday. How's the house coming on? do you have the energy to do much? I hope things get sorted with your dad. I had huge probs with mine when he married the current evil step mum - he turned into this person who didn't care about his family at all which was not like him. I stuck in there as I refused to let her win. It was very tense for a while and even now I don't like being near her - dh talks to her while I chat to my dad. I have to admit that I do turn into a sulky teenager when I'm near them  

Hello to anyone I may have missed  

I'm feeling a bit more normal today. I did a huge amount of filing yesterday and cleared some shelves - it makes me feel like I'm making headway on the house - we've been here 4.5 years, did a load of stuff in first year and then stopped...... Ive also written a big list on what needs doing and now need to get quotes and then work out what we can afford.

Dh is being nice and I've grounded him 

Have a good Sunday


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - I thought of you tonight as I was digging my way into my house (30 minutes it took us to get to the door), its not long until you are back in this crazy snowy world   
Pooky - good work on grounding DH   
Maisie - I hope you had a lovely lunch and a good old gossip yesterday. And of course you didn´t offend me
Squirrel - Was it a fancy little black dress ball? Its years since I´ve dressed up like that. Hope you had fun   
Curly - sounds like you are suddenly going to have too many jobs   
Honor, Karen and Lynn   and   
Rachel - sorry you didn´t funding but I´m glad you can have a go privately 

The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life was to watch my husbands heart break as I told him he could nolonger keep me safe  . Then I came home again and this is way way harder than crying for help. Sorry for my worrying silence Maisie, its taking me all of my energy to function although there is some debate about whether I am functioning or not. Falling down the steps which I shouldn´t have been walking on, snapping the roofbox key (which I shouldn´t have been using) in the lock, and getting the car stuck in a big hole are just some of the signs that I may not be functioning at all. I am completely useless right now but I am at least safe and useless I guess. The world carried on spinning while I was gone and now I´m running like crazy to catch it up and I just can´t do it, I just don´t have the energy.

Love to all the buds, Katxxx


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## Big hat

Oh Kat, lovely Kat, I know there is nothing I can say to make you view yourself as we do at the moment.  Please believe though, that you don't have to run to catch up with the world, your world can move at the pace you set, at your energy level.  There will be plenty of time, at whatever point you decide in the future for you to run, for now isn't it enough to give your pup a cuddle if that's all you want to do?    Please sweetie, be easy on yourself.

lots and lots of love

Curlyone
xx


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## 1972

Kat, that sounds like a normal day to me  

Glad to hear from you. Let DH look after you, he can give you cuddles, chocolate, tea and love. You take one step at a time . Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## mrs_ixy

Hello girls...

Pooky - of *course* you can talk about pregnancy things on here. You're one of us! You don't have to shut up just 'cos there are still those of us still trying/struggling. Good luck with your scan today. It must be scary having a gap in care after you've been discharged from your clinic and not yet with the NHS midwife. It sounds like you are doing all the right things and in good hands, though. As for your DH - I really don't think men's minds work in the same way as ours, especially not when it comes to getting into our heads and understanding hormones and things. 

Honor - hope you and DH are OK now. I think stressful situations like this can make all of us say things we don't necessarily mean. 

Carey - hope you're feeling better now, and roll on 15th March eh?!

Rachel - so sorry you did not get funding, but it is good to hear that you are having a go privately instead. Really hope the next cycle goes well for you. It's so stupid they didn't tell you about the funding straight away - why string you along like that? Grr. Hope you are feeling okay about it all.  I have heard that Create are good.

Squirrel - hi to you! 

Curly - that's good news about the job front. Sounds quite exciting. When will you find out?

Hanna - that's so annoying about your bank. I do not understand the logic behind that at all. But doesn't sound like you are letting it get you down 

Maisie - totally with you on the mortgage thing. It is so difficult these days. We remortgaged recently and could not get any deals with the equity we had in our house, so we had to find some more money to make the size of our equity/deposit bigger. I hope you can get some financial help from your folks. I expect they would be pleased to help you out. We'll be in a very similar situation if we have to have a third go at IVF. You feel very funny doing it but I think they like to. We had some work done on our house recently but it's all going to be unfinished until we have (one way or another) ended our IVF journey, cos we don't have the money to finish it off. 

Kat - I hope you are getting on okay. Don't be too hard on yourself. You don't have to run to catch up with the world - go at your own pace and take it slow. I think that the world goes far too fast anyway. 

Hulagirl - I'm doing OK, thanks for asking. Not producing massive numbers of follicles like I had hoped (on max dose for stimms), but there are at least some. What day will you start your injections? Crikey, 4 weeks is a long time to d/r. I guess you just have to take each day as it comes. That must be annoying about the delay - it sometimes feels like you can't really predict anything, or make any firm plans, doesn't it? Really good point Rachel made, though, about the fact that even if you're being treated on the NHS you have still paid for it, just in a different way.

AFM - I have been stimming since last Tuesday and also doing cetrotide in the mornings to stop me from ovulating (I'm doing short protocol). I had my first progress scan today. There were 7 follicles, about the same as last time. I was a bit disappointed because I am on the maximum dose of Menopur (I wasn't last time), so I had expected/hoped for more. But I know that it is quality that counts and not quantity so hopefully they are 7 good ones. It would be great if they all had eggs in. Egg collection is pencilled in for Friday and my DH will be on standby for SSR (they did freeze some of his sperm, but they want him on standby in case there is not enough or it does not thaw properly). 

xxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I didn't post all weekend - had a very lazy day Saturday and was out yesterday so wasn't online, just checking up on you all on my phone !

Just a quick one...

*Pooky*:  for your scan today. Let us know how you get on .

*Kat*: Don't you worry about the rest of the world, just focus on the lovely *you* .

*mrs_ixy*: It sounds like you're growing a good number of good quality follicles there . When's your next scan? Hope it's all go for EC Friday - how exciting !!

*maisie*: Hope you're doing ok . Any news on Fest dates?

*Hula*: Hope you survive DR for so long (been there, not nice ). With any luck, you'll be able to persuade them to start stimming sooner and dates won't clash too badly with DH being away... 

 and  to *Curly*, *Hanna*, *squirrel*, *Karen*, *Carey*, *Lynn*, *Rachel* and anyone I've missed!

xxx


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## Pookychops

Hi,

Quick one from me, scan number 558 in 8 weeks showedtwo little wrigglers  both measuring at 13 weeks. Such a relief - one was on its front wriggling it bum and kicking its legs out 

Nuchal scan on Thursday. As for dh, he's now on best behaviour and I squealed to his mum who told him off  he's an only child with domineering mother so I'm fine as long as she's on my side 

*Kat* - just take one step at a time honey. It's all you can do and don't try to run before you can walk. The world will still be here waiting for you and will go at your pace if you need it to


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## Big hat

Pooky - that is such good news, and the little pookettes sound utterly delicious.  Good on you for snapping DH back in to the real world (grwon man, husband, and soon-to-be dad - not - little boy who gets everything done for him  ).  Went to Spitalfields yesterday and positively purred with contentment.  My first new wage packet is already allocated - fab skirts, knitwear and shoes - all of their websites are now bookmarked under 'buy' on my computer! No news on the jobs yet, and I've forgotten what one of them was, so obviously wasn't too enamoured with that one  .

Mrs-Ixy - how fabulous - Friday.  I am going to get cramp in my fingers and toes for keeping them crossed all week for you    . Feel for poor DH being on call - it must be a bit of a head mess for him   , but it is making me laugh   xx

Hulagirl - Did you start dr this morning?  How goes it? Just think, by the time you go to bed tonight it will be one less day of the 4 weeks crossed off  .

Hanna - you are making me smile with all of the pma coming off your posts.  I think you are going to be very happy when you get home, and any nonsense between you and DH will all be behind you. xxxx

Rachel - when does your tx start?  I'm really pleased for you   . x

Kat - just a little 'hi' to show I'm thinking of you  , and you too Karen if you are reading....

Maisie - sounding like things are moving for you (literally and metaphorically). It means good things are a few steps closer/round the corner/on the horizon (and all of those other sayings)  . xx

Honor - good on you for having a lazy Saturday.  We all need some of those. Next weekend we are having a marathon walk with a friend and el poocho but after that I intend to spend a number of Sunday's exploring London's markets again.,

Hi to all the other buds.

hugs

Curlyone
xx


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## Nordickat

MrsIxy - Friday is a long way away in follie growing terms. I had 5 or 6 tiny follies at this stage and then shocked everyone with 19 eggs and OHSS. Who knows what will happen in there in the next 4 days   

Hulagirl - I'm sure they won't want you to downreg for 4 weeks - thats torture for you and DH. I hope the sort it out when you call.

Pooky - hooray for the wrigglers   

Curly, maisie, honor and co - thanks for your support   . It helps probably more than you realise. You will all be very proud of me today. I am the most unassertive person ever but had a meeting with my boss and HR today and gave them what for. One very big contributing factor to my little trip away is work and I told them so (I also slipped into the conversation that I could get a job elsewhere tomorrow if I wanted and then they would be really shafted  ). I am supposed to be wonderwoman and fail to deliver frequently because I am stupidly over committed. They have now decided to recruit 2 new people to help me out ...... is it any wonder I lost the plot when my workload is enough for 3   . Its horrid being here because a lot of people seem to know where I have been ...... although at least it means nobody has spoken to me today about work in case they are the ones to break me again. 

Thanks again for being you, 
Katxxx


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## Honor77

Fab news *Pooky*  ! Admit it, you're just trying to break the world record of most scans in any one pregnancy ?! Seriously though, so pleased the Pookettes are wriggling away, totally oblivious to the worry they're causing you!

*Curly*: Whoops! Meant to congratulate you on your plentiful potential job opportunities! I'm sure you'll secure something perfect very soon ! And if you still need to think of ways to spent that first wage packet, I can send you a few!

*Kat*: I think you deserve to give yourself a pat on the back ! I am indeed very proud of you standing up for yourself and putting yourself first. Sounds like work had what was coming to them and not before time. See: you've taken one very brave step today and just that one step is going to do wonders for your physical and mental well-being. You're on the road , but remember, you're more than entitled to pace yourself as much as you need .

xxx


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## rachel1972

hi buds 

thanks Curly dont know when yet got appointment 23rd feb for consult.  dh is booked for friday to see his consult.already double fees ouch.

great news pooky.  Hope the next trimester is less stressful.

Mrs Ixy hope friday comes quickly.

afm i had an amazing healing session yesterday and cried , i hadnt realized just how much i needed to grieve for all my embryos who didnt make it last year.  today ethan went to nursery day 3 not good , im at a loss.


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## ma-me28

evening buds hope you are all ok
just quick one from me
slight change of schedule for us am now starting d/r on 10th feb due to my periods being slightly unpredictable clinic decided to start us on day 21 of this cycle. x
will try and do some personals soon.


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## 1972

Pooky - great news. Glad all ok, and glad you've pulled dh up via the mother in law  

Kat- so good to hear you stood up for yourself at work and it's the old don't ask, don't get.. Let's hope they recruit you some help soon as it sounds like it will make all the difference.   one step at a time xxxx

Honor- you obviously didn't see my note, I deleted ALL the fest emails   flipping iPad puts them all under one and I deleted the lot.. Will resend. Hope neds settling in x

Rachel - sorry to hear your little ones struggling at nursery.

Curly - here's to hoping your shopping spree comes soon  

Me- still down ,hate job, can't find a house, don't want to be 40, willing time to pass and by pmt feelings and spotting -AF on her way so yet another month passes me by..


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## Hulagirl

Evening buds  
Thanks Rachel – I hadn’t thought of it like that – having been a tax payer for 14 years I think I can say I have probably paid my fair share towards tx. Hope your ok? hope Ethans week at nursery gets better.  Create sounds like an interesting place – Will have a look into that.

Pooky – tried to get through to guys again today and as usual had the carry on with the answer machine and waiting for someone to come back to me  . I can understand that things get a bit chaotic around xmas, particularly with people wanting time off so I do understand but im still a bit frustrated. I wish they had given me a warning when I rang up on day 1  - could have made things a bit easier when trying to plan a few things.  How are you feeling today ? Great news about your scan must be amazing seeing them wriggling about- sorry for sounding thick but what is a nuchal scan?  It does sound like a complete minefield when it comes to who is looking after you until what stage. 
We sound a bit like you when it comes to the house – we’ve been in ours nearly 5 years and there are still boxes that haven’t been touched. Hoping to get round to sorting a few things out and having a sort through to either do a charity shop drop and put some bits on ebay, although always takes more time than you think.

Squirrel – how was the ball hope you had fun. I bet you looked lovely!

Kat – how are you doing today? I really feel for you at the moment, wish there was something I could do for you. Dont feel like you have to run to catch up, take your own pace – you need some time to yourself. You go girl re your job! Sounds like this will be a good aspect of your life to get sorted and have some help. I hope they get some really good people and that it will make things a bit easier. 

Mrs Ixy – for some reason I thought you weren’t as far along with the stims but it all sounds like its coming along. Like you said yourself its quality not quantity, when I had ec I got 23 eggs but most of them were immature, would have preferred a few less but more mature – im sure you will get a good crop, good luck on Friday for egg collection.

Thanks Honor – im hoping to not be d/r for 4 weeks  - I will be going  

Curly – start d/r on Thursday – need to remember to sniff before I go to work. Will seem weird doing tx and working this time round. Last cycle I was on and off at work with quite a bit of working from home and annual leave to use up so I had a bit more time on my hands. Hows you ? – when do you finish your antibiotics? I can help you spend your first wage packet haha! Good luck – hope you hear something about the jobs soon.

Ma-me – we will be cycling around the same time! 

Maisie – sorry your feeling a bit down. It can all get a bit much at times and then it seems like everything is rubbish. My jobs not the greatest at the moment but im going to try and ride the storm and hope that It picks up.  Will be glad when January is over as well, I don’t think this is the best month for anyone- unless you live somewhere hot and sunny!

AFM - Rang up a local clinic today that is affiliated with zita west and am booked in for acupuncture on Saturday, thought I may as well go along and see what its like. Looks like I will have a session every week initially and see where the treatment cycle takes me – I think its worth a try.

Just been for a nice dinner with some friends but for now my bed is calling.

Night buds, love to all. hugs to you all   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Pookychops

Hulagirl - I always found early morning was the best time to get an answer. They often don't call back until the next day unless it's urgent. Sometimes I would just keep calling throughout the morning until I could actually speak to someone. I've got one of the drs direct numbers if you get really stuck.


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## Pookychops

Oh and a nuchal scan is a screening test for downs syndrome. They can only do it between 11 and 13 weeks and they measure the amount of fluid in the fold of the neck. They also go a blood test and the combined results give you a risk factor. You can the use that to help decide if you want to have the amniocentesis test which has a 1% chance of miscarriage, 2% for twins. At this scan they also measure all of the organs theu can see and body and head to make sure it's all ok. There is then a 20 week scan which looks at all organs in detail and checks for any probs such as heart defect, stomach issues etc.


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## rachel1972

maise


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovely ladies,

Kat - sometimes the world does move on around us but your world WILL catch up. i know it will. Look at your strides in speaking to work. Brilliant! So chuffed for you, and surely that shows they admitted they are undervaluing you, and now have proven to you how much they think of you. You need to use that to take a few more steps forward. You can do this. So tough for you but you are wading on through - how inspiring for the rest of us   xx

Maisimoo -   for the pmt, and the general feeling down. Thinking of you and sending a virtual glass of wine, some chocolate, and flowers to make you smile xx

Pooky -   for you! All sounds incredible xx

Hanna - keep the positive vibes going for your trip! Xx

Rachel - sorry to hear about your little one and his troubles. Glad you can focus on a treatment plan for feb xx

Hulagirl - fingers and toes crossed for your cycle! Chin up tits out! You can get through this xx

Mrs ixy - hi hon! Great youre back on here   and keep us posted about your cycle xx

Honor - hope ned is a fabulous distraction xx

Curly - your shopping trip sounds ace, am v jealous! When is your next appointment? Xx

Everyone - i hope this week is good for you, and everyone moves forward in there own  little way. It is like being stuck in quicksand half the time, and that is exhausting. It must be something that keeps us going right? What is it that keeps us going? For me - it is YOU girls, my husband and sheer stubborness. Oh, and hope. Surely something has to go right for all of us? Why cant it? Well, that is my thought for the day. I wish i could figure it all out. We are all such worthy lovely girls who could be amazing mothers. I just cant get how the world is so cruel. I am struggling a bit at the moment. All gone a bit foggy! At least the cat purrs. Love to all, sorry for the random melancholy chat! Squirrel xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Carey

Afternoon my Lovely buds  

Its a horrible dull day here today, cold & raining   I wish the dry warm wether would hurry up & maybe a little   would be nice too  

Pooky - So happy that your scan went well, its so lovely to see little ones wriggling around, isnt it? Yes not long for me to go now, i am going to give birth at the Norwich & Norfolk, they have a new Midwife lead Unit so will hopefully be able to give birth their. Would love a water birth too   I finish work on the 17th Feb so 3.5 wks left   xxxxxxx

Rachel1972 - Im pleased you found your healing session to be great, its nice to beable to relax & feel at ease. Sorry you didnt get your funding, i hope the appt goes well for you in Feb, not long now xxxx

Maisie - Hope you get on the property ladder soon hun, its such a strange time at the mo. My mum has had her house up for sale for a year now, its a stunning 4 bedroom in fantastic condition at a very cheep price but she has had no offers, except someone taking the pi**. I hope you start to feel brighter soon, sending you lots of hugs   xxxx

Squirrel - Thanks you im feeling abit better thanks. As with all the other buds on here, i want to let you know that we care for you lots & always send you lots of love, hugs & support. Stay strong hun xxxxx

Honor - How are you? Yes im feeling very excited on the fast approaching due date also a little scared too   Midwife appt went well, baby is laying across my tummy & needs to start moving soon to the head down position.... got another scan & appt with consultant on Tue, then Midwife again next friday..... a very busy few weeks. xxxxxx

Curly - I hope you enjoy the london markets when you get a chance to go again, we went just after the new year & i just love walking around looking xxxx

Hanna - Hiya, hope everything is going well? xxx

D- How are you? Not long till EDD. Hope you have everything sorted? xxxx

Hulagirl - Yes not long till my EDD   Im feeling alot better than i did last week thanks   Hows your DR going? I hope you find the acupunture ok, i have heard lots of   things about it xxxx

Kat - As always sending you lots of big hugs   xxxx

Mrs Ixy - Yes i am counting down the weeks now, just over 7 to go   Im pleased your stimming is going well, is your EC def going to be Friday....... good luck for that hun xxxx

Ma-Me - Yay, so pleased that you have your dates for next TX & its sooner than you thought..... lots of     &   coming your way xxx

A BIG   TO ANY BUDS I HAVE MISSED   SENDING YOU LOTS OF      

AFM - Im feeling alot better than i did, i rested up for a few days & drank honey & lemon..... which i didnt like at all.... YUCK!!!!! Ive been cracking the whip   at home with DH as the carpet for the nusery is being fitted on Monday & the walls still need painting so thats his job for the next few nights  
Nusery funiture is also coming on Monday so he will be in flat pack heaven all of next week  

I best get back to doing some work, its was nice to have the time to catch up on here at my computer rather than on my phone as i am still getting use to my new touch screen phone & it takes me ages to type!!!!!

Love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Rachel - is there no support out there to help you get ethan settled in properly somewhere? It seems so unfair on you and him   

Pooky - you don't get a scan here until 16 weeks normally   . They are trying to change it but there is huge opposition against 12 weeks scans here   . Completely irrelevant info there I realise lol.

Hulagirl - acupuncture is lovely and relaxing and its nice to have a place to go and talk about tx too so enjoy the release you get from going.

ma-me and MrsIxy   

Maisie -   hang in there. The only way us up from here   

Squirrel and Karen   . I'm not allowed to take my laptop home (Drs orders  ) at the moment so no skype chats for now.

Curlyone, Carey, Honor and everyone else   

I'm not coping with life quite as well is it sounded yesterday and that was just a hyper version of me talking. I've spent most of today being hyper and bouncing off the walls too, and its so completely draining when you crash afterwards. I just can't keep up with the thread at the moment so I'm ducking out for a while. I go on holiday for a couple of weeks this weekend so I'll be back in February and hopefully the world will have slowed down and normal service can be resumed. Take care of yourselves and catch up in a few weeks.

Love to you all, 
 Katxxx


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## Pookychops

Enjoy your snowboarding! I'll be thinking of you! Take care now and be careful up those mountains!


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## Big hat

Kat, me darlin', you do what you need to do for you, and we will all be here waiting for you if/when you decide to return.  Just know that we are all thinking about you and wanting the best for you.  . xxx

Squirrel - lovely, I'm so sorry that it all seems bleak at the moment.  Have you heard any more from Barcelona or is it a case of waiting for them to find you a match?  I think one of the hardest things about ivf is that it is all out of your control, someone else is calling all the shots and you have to fall in line, which does not come that easy to a lot of us I think  , and be patient (which is ok unless you feel that time is rushing away with you).  I hope you hear some good news soon, and you get to take that next step closer to becoming a mum  .

Rachel - I'm so pleased you got to have a healing session.  I'm sure it is going to help in the way that you are able to approach your next tx.  Good luck for DH on Friday . I'm so pleased for you that he is giving it another chance.  As for Ethan's nursery, are they able to suggest anything - a settling in plan that can include Ethan, that not only provides him with more support but has a gold star/treat system that helps him to buy into the process?

Carey - good on you for cracking the whip - it seems to be a male trait to leave all the baby preparations until birth is imminent, you'd have thought they'd get the hint sooner that birth means the baby leaving mummy's tummy and needing somewhere else to lie etc.....!

Maisie - I totally sympathise with you.  I refused to have a 40th, and even to acknowledge it, as I hadn't achieved what I wanted (to be a mum).  A few friends bullied me for 3 years because I'd cheated them out of their opportunity to humiliate me.  However, as their 40th is approaching I see that same look in their eyes of 'it was just not meant to be like this; this is not what I planned' - I say nothing, I don't have to (but I do lace their cards and 40th balloon with liberal amounts of lavender oil  ).  What I'm trying to say is, you don't have to do anything you don't want, just keep your eye on your goal and we'll all be with you. xx

Hula - good luck for d/r tomorrow and acupuncture on Saturday. Sounds good, and really quite exciting  .  I finish abx on Friday, and have a lunch and an evening party to go to on Saturday (could get messy  ).

Ma-me - not long for you now also - 10 Feb? Fabulous.

Pooky - I'm glad things seem a bit calmer.  How are you finding being off work and resting?

Honor - how are you?

Mrs Ixy - thinking of you.

Afm - only a couple more days till abx over.  Found out today the job I really liked has been substantially downgraded by the manager, who is now looking for a junior person. It would seem the standard of candidate was higher than the manager wanted (ie is protecting own job), but the 3 other one's are still on people's desks waiting for them to make decisions.  Squirrel, until I'm earning and backfilling the coffers I'm going to be sitting on the side lines dreaming of Greece....  oh well, best drag that old patience out from somewhere and sit on it, again.

hugs all 

Curlyone
x


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## 1972

Hi buds

Kat   have a fab holiday and time out. Look forward to a refreshed Kat back soon. Hoping the crash is not as bad as you think.   xxxxxx

Curly - yay to end of drugs, booooo to job news. you seem like you have been very patient full stop, so not fair !    the 40 day looms and I never thought I'd feel like I do. I'm scared.. How silly is that. My mortality, lack of kids, everything is buzzing around   but , it's only a day.. I'm still 20 in my head, that's how I'll stay. Just with a lot more poundage and few more wrinkles   here's sending you some good luck    xx

Squirrel - life is flipping hard, and seems to be getting harder. I've come to realise that not much is important in life, job, money etc. I'm not even that excited re house, as all I really want is a child.. One day - lets grasp onto that bit of hope   

Carey - wow, what a post ! Hope you feel better soon xx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

When I last left you you, we were on about page 54. How time flies! I've just logged on and have mountains of catching up to do. I now have 2 screens open and I'm desperately reading one, as I type on the other so as not to miss any vital news.
I shall do my best, and forgive me if I leave anything, or anyone, out....

*Kat* - hope this message hasn't missed you and that you have a fabulous getaway. Breathe in that fresh mountain air and think of all the good things you have. May this break be just what you need to clear the cobwebs. BTW- good for you for standing uo for yourself and winning that little round with your boss. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for Thinking of you, and can't wait to Skype soon.   

*Maisie* - Maisie, Maisie...I cannot describe how upsetting it's been to read about your friends, and everything that you've been feeling lately. Yes, this whole IF debacle is totally [email protected] and "hard" is an understatement. It does seem that nothing else is important and motivation to do anything can really slide, but you do still have enough going for you that you can still crack a smile. You have your wonderful DH, you have 2 legs, 2 arms, your sight your hearing and good health. You have wine, and chocolate, and cheesecake. You have FF get-togethers and you have us! It really is hard to see it when you're at a really low point, but try and think of 3 positive things that happened each day, and you'll see it can be good. You might even try writing them down each night before you go to bed, to get your mind into a positive way of thinking. If you then go back and read over it again a few weeks/months later, you'll see that there was some good in every day. Sorry to preach, but I do know where you are coming from and once you can start to pull yourself out of the dark hole you really will feel better. As for those biotches you've had problems with, I say they are simply "fair-weather" friends and not worth worrying about. This is a simple way of looking at it, but it's true. Those who really care, and ask how tx is going, and support you no matter what, are your real friends. Huge cyber-hug coming your way.  
*
Curlyone *- your posts are fabulous! Wicked sense of humour. Is that the antibiotics' side-effect - great humour and wit?! Hopefully the last couple of days will fly by and you'll be back on the IF roller-coaster very very soon. Thanks also for your advice/info re Czech clinics. We've made a decision and all will be revealed later in this post....  BTW - sorry that job didn't work out, but something much better is waiting for you. Good luck with the job-hunting.

*POoky* - sorry to read about all the bleeding scares. Good news that the scan went well. Keep those little Pookettes safe. Hope you are feeling OK too. 
*
Carey* - good luck with the furniture building. How exciting to be so close now. I can't believe how fast the time has flown. Good also to hear that you're feeling better...good old hot honey and lemon drink. Hey, maybe next time you could try honey/lemon cheesecake - same ingredients, but much better presentation. 

*Squirrel *- I like your analogy of quicksand. As for me, I see it as trying to run up the down escalator. You can get to the top, but you have to really push hard to get there. And so it goes on.... So when are you due back in Barcelona? I'd love to chat and I've looked for you on Skype but I guess our timing is not in sync. It's great to read that you still have hope. Without it what have we got? (purring hapy cuddly cat can work wonders too ). Hang in there and stay positive. Thinking of you   

*Hulagirl *- good luck with the start of d/r. When will you start? Enjoy the acupuncture on Saturday and think positive, baby-making thoughts.  

*Ma-me* - good luck to you too. Hope this time is the one!  
*
Rachel* - Great to hear you had a good healing session. It works wonders to let it all out. Once you clear your head you can be ready to face all sorts of new things. Sorry to hear about Ethan, and I hope you can find a solution soon. 
*
Honor* - how are you doing? How is DH's job-hunting going? It would be nice to have another Bud in Germany, but that's me being selfish.....I hope that whatever comes his way is good for both of you. 

*Dee* - how goes the baby-preparation? ARe you off work now? Are you taking it easy? I hope everything is going well and I'm sending you loads of happy   .

*So Ladies* - Hugs and happiness to anyone I may have missed, but I'm out of steam and am still facing having to clean a kitchen that looks like a bomb exploded. DH has gone to look after a friend's 1-year old and I decided to stay have and have "me" time. That translates into "FF" time and hopefully some crappy TV and some well-earned chocolate. I'm actually keen to watch Downton Abbey - never seen it but heard lots of things about it.

*AFM* - DH are back in the game! We've been researching Czech clinics the last couple of weeks, and finally settled for Gennet, in Prague. It's less than a 2-hour drive from here and the costs are WAY less than in Dresden. OUr coordinator is super efficient and SOOOO much friendlier than the Germans, and today we had an initial consultation. It was supposed to just be a fact-finding mission, but we ended up deciding to just jump in the deep end again and d/r starts 31 Jan. They're totally flexible and gave me the option of 2 types of d/r, neither of which involves shoving polyp-producing sprays up my overly-sensitive nose. YAY! I'll be taking a drug called Zoladex, which is actually a one-off injection and which gives the d/r effect for 4 weeks. Has anyone used this one before? Bit nervous about it, but it's got to be better for me than sniffing.
And, the doctor is giving me an anti-depressant this time to help me cope with the d/r blues! The Germans never even gave me the option. I'm heading into this far more positive than before.

If all goes well, EC will be around 27 Feb. Here's hoping my well-aged ovaries can produce more than the measly 2 follicles I managed last time. Hope Hope Hope.

So, as my saga unfolds, I'll be sure to keep you all updated. Hopefully I can have your support as I delve into the next tx. You have all been a wonderful pick-me-up and such fantastic support so far. I think if it hadn't been for you all, I wouldn;t have made it this far. 

G'night everyone and I'll post again soon. Stay tuned.....
_*
When asked if my glass is half-full or half-empty, I reply that I'm just happy I have a glass!

*_


----------



## 1972

Hi Karen

So good to have you back sounding so positive   that's brilliant news and sounds like a pla. So good you have alternative options and maybe this change will make all the difference.

I'm trying so hard to do the type of thing you are suggesting but it's not working. I think permanent changes need to happen in my life such as my job. It makes me so miserable but it's so hard as it offers me flexibility for my situation and to move on now will be rubbish timing.. So the cycle continues of IVF putting a hold on my life ...  

Sorry to be doom and gloom buds. Bad day today, dreading work as think I'm in trouble. 

Normal Maisie will resume soon.

Have a good day xxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Oh Maisie - I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I know how you feel and it's not a nice place to be. Are there any chances of moving jobs within Tesco? It could be a short term option. Sending you a big   

Karen - good to hear from you and you're sounding so positive   They say that a change in clinic and a fresh approach can work wonders. Zoladex is a drug that is used in breast and prostate cancer (I used to cover these markets about 7 years ago but my knowledge is a bit rusty now). It is in the same group of drugs as nafarelin and buserelin which are the sniffy drugs. Zoladex is a longer acting suppressor (i think you can get it in one and three month formulations) and in the US they often use Prostap, which again is from the same drug family. It saves you having to take daily doses and is considered to be more convenient. It's been on the market a while and so they have a good understanding of how it works.

Wishing you all the best for this next cycle andhinking of you 

last day of sick leave for me - got to try and get a dr's appointment to get signed back to work. Will see if he recommends that I work from home more. I'm so nervous about everything!


----------



## Big hat

Karen - what a squeal you have given me  .  If I could find that bum wiggling emoticon and a happy, hand clapping one they'd be on here! Prague is such a lovely city, and Gennet does get good reviews, and I think it gives a little romance to the start of your baby's life - you'll be able to say they were conceived in Prague (prrrrr).

Maisie - sweetie, unfortunately, sometimes we have no option but to sit and let all of those things that have upset/hurt us filter through so that we can see what our next steps in life are.  It's not much fun at the time but it will pass and some of the things that currently seem so dark will lose all importance, and you'll wonder why you were ever bothered by them.  For now, if you are in trouble, there is nothing like blowing a raspberry before you go into the meeting.  It won't help matters but it may give you a little smile when you are being read the riot act.  

Pooky - good on you for thinking ahead about your doctor - it has to be one of the perks of pregnancy to be able to say 'sorry, can't do that, be there on that day - Dr's orders'   . x

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Wow, what a lot of activity on here yesterday. Kind of tired so will keep this short, but:

Hope you have a fantastic, relaxing holiday, *Kat* - much deserved .

Great news on your new cycle plans in CZ, *Karen*:   (I believe these may be the emoticons you were looking for, *Curly*?). Wishing you all the luck in the world .

*Pooky*: You back to work then? Make sure you take it easy and get right back to the doctor if need be .

*Carey*: Hope DH pulls out his finger and gets on with the nursey! How exciting !

*Curly*: What a shame about that job being downgraded . I'll be keeping everything crossed  for you that something comes of one of the other three opportunities. I'm sure you'll be the best woman for the job BY FAR! Let us know when you hear something .

*squirrel* and *maisie*: I wish there was something I could do or say to help lift your spirits; better still, to make everything ok in your worlds  . Are you both still doing counselling/hypno woman? Are you any further on with plans for your next cycles? Perhaps having a plan in place will give you a little nudge in the right direction in terms of positivity?

*Hula*:  for your first sniff (or injection ?) tomorrow! Hope the acupuncture does the trick on Saturday.

*ma-me*, *mrs_Ixy*, *Hanna*, *Lynn*, *rachel*, *Dee* and anyone I've missed: .

xxx


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## rachel1972

hi buds 

Curly you are so wise what you say about everything, im not sure if he has a reward chart i will have to check as it has been working at home of late.  Sorry one of the jobs is of the list. thank you for you kind words as always.

Squirrel - hope you are having a better day, are you doing anything to help with the stress/pain?

Kat the support we recieve his a bit lacking , i fear that the money given for ethans 1-2-1 is not being used to its best.
Getting away sounds like a great idea, hope you are able to slow down.

Maisie I remember the corperate life and it is such a harsh enviroment, stress  at work is horrible and so pointless just count the days till payday for now.

karen , taking anti-depresants sounds like a good idea , i was never offered this option , dont they take a couple of weeks to build up in system?  Good luck with it.

Pooky , i can only imagine how nervous you are to have to leave the house, how long are you planning to work for?

happy new year ladies 

afm - going to a meditation group on thursday , ethan goes to childminder one day a week.  Am so stressed out since monday ethan has been very differcult as he got upset in nursery, he will go next tuesday again....


----------



## 1972

Hi buds 

Thanks for the  ... I don't have a plan.. Maybe thats the prob, limbo land again. In my head I've pencilled in April maybe . Want to get b'day out of way then,lose more weight and then look to start. Got some money put aside but after mortgage discussions we need more than we hoped for deposit so got to weigh it up. IVF ,may go on interest free credit card and worry about it another time  

Rachel - you are sounding really sad , sending you  

Am going to have to send another email buds re meet up as I stupidly deleted all your replies   xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Quick one from me - dr signed me off for another week but may just see if I can work from home as getting a bit bored now. Scan tomorrow with the mother in law as my chaperone - that should be fun   no doubt she'll get overexcited. She has a very loud voice so no doubt the whole hospital will hear her squeal when she see them!


----------



## 1972

Pooky, make the most of it, relax ! Good luck tomorrow x


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## Pookychops

Maisie - how did you get on at work yesterday? Did you get into trouble?


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## Honor77

for your scan today, *Pooky*!

Hope work wasn't as bad as you imagined yesterday, *maisie*.

*rachel*: It sounds like you're doing all the right things . Hope you begin to see some positive results with your stress levels and Ethan's nursery/behaviour soon .

 to everyone else!

xxx


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovely buddies,

Maisimoo - I just want to come over, take you out to share a bottle of wine with me, and give you a huuuuuuuuuugggggeee hug. I think being in limbo is one of the most frustrating, annoying, frightening places to be. It doesnt top a bfn but it comes close. Seeing everyone else moving on, even though you are so happy for them - doesnt make it any better. You have some great goals, and losing weight and sorting out money issues will put you in a much better place to try again. I know it must seem that every door is shut, but there are more doors for you than you realise. Your age is not prohibitive, weight can be lost, houses will come along at the right time. The most important thing is not feeling alone and stuck in one place. Having the energy and motivation to get through it however...It is flaming hard. Chin up, tits out my friend. You deserve to be a mum and you will be. I know you will make your dreams come true because you are strong, fabukous and not a quitter. I have no patience so I am not going to say you need some! lean on us, lets create a maisiemoo plan of action and time line! I feel the need for new stationary - my secret fetish!   and email me anytime xx

Honor - i know you are in limbo too. Everything I have just written - i mean it for you too. Somehow, we will do this, you deserve so much more than life is throwing at you. How are the jobs looking? How is ned? How are you?? I think you do what I do, when I am not 100% - you write to us but dont say too much about you! Lets plan a skype soon too. Would love to hear about your plans xx

Curlyone - i do love your posts! I think your job options will improve, just you wait and see! You are fulfilling a fab job on here keeping all our spirits up! How is your jewellery making coming along? I wish I could trawl the markets with you - i reckon you would be a brilliant bargain hunter! So antibiotics finished? How does a glass of wine taste?! Hope all good with you xx

Pooky - all sounds so good your end now things have settled. Smiling for you! Sprinkle some babydust at the rest of us! Hope mother in law doesnt go hysterical! Xx

Rachel - good kuck with ethan going back to nursery. Am hlad you are taking some time for yourself with the meditation etc. Keep calm, keep going xx

Kat - if youre reading, thinking of you and hooe the snow boarding brings you back a smile and some peace xx

Karen - WOW! Am so impressed with your mammoth post. Gennet sounds great! Back on the wagon girl! I think that drug is also used to treat endometriosis so should be safe as houses. It is lovely to have you back on here with your wise words and sayings. Will keep a better eye out on skype - could do with chat xx

Everyone cycling - chin up tits out, eye on the prize and all that jazz xx

AFM. Well. Being bit secretive to be honest. Things moving forwards and wanted to just take it step by step. The reasons I havent said anything are threefold. I am in denial! I dont want to freak out about another go and have the pressure of telling people it has failed. I dont like the possibility of upsetting anyone in limbo - because in all honesty, I have struggled hearing everyone moving on without me. I also dont want to live 2012 obsessing about trying again without living my life - so back to denial. If I dont talk about it, it aint happening right??! I have also been flippin terrified of doing this again, and didnt want to lost the plot in front of you guys. Silly of me. In a nutshell, clinic found perfect donor at exactly the same stage as me the morning after our evening appointment?! What are the chances! So instead of planning to go in march, they offered me the chance to start straight away. Headaches and nausea on new tablets, lining scan now 10 mm, donor poss having ec on monday, so last minute trip next week for et. WTF?! I am having to tell you all because I am in trouble. I am on the brink of falling off my perch because DH cannot come with me. I am so worried as the last et was so awful. I know it is a new clinic. But I am the worlds most nervous traveller and patient. I was going to keep it quiet but I need you guys. I am so sorry if anyone who is sad right now - has been made more sad by my post. Help. love to all and sorry for being a secret squirrel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel   is the transfer in Spain? If it is in London I could come with you, but I can't get to Spain unfortunately. Is there anyone else who could go with you? Your mum?

Will you have two put in? It is a truly nerve wracking experience and you will be petrified. It will be worth it though - you will get your BFP!

Have you booked some counselling? I think you should as its good to talk things over with someone who can help you realise that you aren't completely bonkers for feeling the way you do.

I went to my last transfer on my own and was in right state by the time i got there as had to divert around london due to northern line being shut and I turned up 15 mins late. I then got the hump with dh after and had a big row with him on the phone as we were meeting his friends for lunch and he didn't tell me where so i was over half an hour late meeting them and in a right stinky mood by the time I got there.


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi pooky,
Transfer is in Spain. family dont know I am trying again, no one does - except now I have let cat out of bag to you all. I need to man up. DH gutted he cant come, I am just sad, and freaking out.  . Sorry to be such a misery. If all goes well, hopefully will have two put back. At least it is a chance hey.   xx


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## rachel1972

good luck squirrell you dark horse hope you can find a way to relax !!  transfers do vary alot on the day so i know its not your ideal to be on your own but i know you will be OK x


----------



## 1972

Squirrel honey- don't  ever think you can't share stuff with us.   you guys are my friends and more than anything I want us all to get our happy ending. I'm just so pleased its all falling into place for you so soon   I wish I could come and support you. If you are really that bad surely it might be better to share with someone close? A girlfriend, mum? I wish I could come, if it had been a few weeks away I might have said stuff it and gone on a little squirrel adventure. Stay focussed and strong. You know you can.. I have everything routing for you xxxxx  

Pooky - how was scan? Work was ok.. I was paranoid as I'd sent a few emails in quite an abrupt manner to boss but think as we are all under so much pressure at moment they can't really do anything. I'm fit to burst with workload so got away with it this time. I hope.... 

Honor - hello xxxx

Well, apart from site meeting from hell this morning, then vets appt this afternoon I'm ok. Poor maisiemoo ( furry version ) is poorly   she's lost a lot of weight since Christmas and a little peeky so took her to vets. She has a heart murmur which has got worse and also had a blood test to check her kidneys and thyroid. Bless. Sent me into a panic as I can't have anything happen to her as she's my baby... Bill was £177 gulp   hope she's ok.. She's lost over 20% body weight in short period, little things all skinny now   on the up, I've had a mortgage offer and going to look at 4 places on Saturday  

Hi to all the other buds out there   x


----------



## Pookychops

Hi - update from me which turns into a bit of a rant...

Scan was fine and I had a quick midwife chat. The sonographer was the most impersonable person that I have ever met though! He practically told us to be quiet and that he would answer any questions at the end. He couldn't get a good pic of the nuchal fold as my bladder was too full. I was then told to half empty it and so went and gave it a go and got told off as hadn't emptied it enough - how am I supposed to know when it is half empty? He then said it would have been better if I had an empty bladder!!!!

With the midwife chat I had to ask about my blood results and my thyroid levels are too high but she couldn't advise me what to do with meds and said I wouldn't be able to get an appointment any sooner with the consultant and so to go to my gp to have the dose adjusted. All other bloods were ok.

I then had to remind them to send off my referral to UCH and had to explain why I needed it... wasn't sure why just said that the previous midwife had told me that I did. Anyways, UCH just called me and I have to go in for a scan on Tuesday so that they can confirm that the twins are fraternal - they didn't believe me and said that in some cases there is a small chance that they may still be identical. The midwife didn't put fraternal on my referral note..... UCH will then work out a care package for me.

I was the oldest woman in there by far and the girl sat next to me was born in 1990! I left school that year! She was only 22 - unexpected pregnancy and there with her parents.

*Squirrel* - you will be ok, I promise you. Remember the sheep of destiny If I was you I would tell a member of my family and get them to come with me - your mum would appreciate you going to her for support I'm sure. Sometimes opening up to people can help take the weight off your mind and then you'll feel better about it all. Don't look on it all as being a failure, you're not. You are a very strong person and it takes a lot of guts to go through ivf. You are trying to beat your infertility and that makes you a winner as you are not lying down and giving into it.

This can work for you and this will work for you. All of your tests back came ok and so there is no reason why you should not get pregnant this time.

Love and hugs pooky xxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Rachel - thank you for your kind words hon xx

Maisemoo - keep me posted with your cats results, i can try to help  , reckon she could be hyperthyroid easily, and that is very treatable. Thanks for your lovely post and being so positive for me. Means a lot xx

Pooky - blooming health care! Reckon animals get treated better  . Thanks for being there for me too. Youre all so fab xx

My family are all going to see my sisters new born baby whilst this is all going on. Amazing huh. So they dont know. I cant face telling them all so keeping head down like the black sheep of the family I am. Onwards. Love you all xx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel -Archie and Bessie send you big fluffy kitty cuddles and they hope that Colin is looking after you  

They also send get well wishes to Maisie cat


----------



## Big hat

Woo hoo!  Squirrel - go girl!!!    I wondered why you were being so quiet about your trip to Spain and next steps.  Actually thought something might be amiss.  I know the perfect choice would be to have DH there but, as that can't be, are you able to make it into a bit of an adventure?  You've been before so plan your route, print off all the info you may want and put in a folder, and take your laptop with you so you can keep in touch with DH. You could also plan your outfits, get the airport a bit early to sneak in some book/magazine/perfume shopping and grab a Costa whilst you people watch.  Vanity Fair is always a good magazine for when you're travelling alone, as it usually has some lengthy and meaty articles to read, and you can pick up some tatty old tabloid style one to catch up on the goss..... You can also send DH a photo of your scan of your cargo so he can share it with you.  

I know it's easier said than done but try and do it in manageable chunks - flight/hotel booking etc; can you contact the clinic and let them know you had a really bad experience last time and let them know you need some reassurance (there is nothing wrong with telling them that, it will help them to understand your reactions and how to treat you); between ec and et think about how hard your DH's sperm is working to create new life for you both; and OTD is a long way off yet - please don't dwell on the possible outcomes of that yet - let yourself enjoy the other parts of the journey first.  Remember, once et has taken place you will be pregnant until proved otherwise  .  Most importantly, we are all here for you whenever and whatever  , willing the best for you. xxx

Pooky - darlin' you really are being tested for your strength aren't you.... Please don't think you are old, you are in the average age bracket and are only young yourself  .  Are you able to put a complaint in about the senographer?  Tell UCH about him?  Will you have to go there again for a scan - if so, you can insist that you don't have him again, and outline the reasons why - they will listen.  Good luck with getting your thyroid sorted - it seems to be between 1-2.0 is supposed to be the best for pregnancy - most gp's will say it is normal if it is around the 5.0 mark but, maybe have a look on the thyroid/immunes thread for info if you are already pregnant. xx

Maisie - am keeping fingers crossed for furry maisiemoo, bless her, putting everything in perspective.  Keep us posted about her.  Also, what fab news about the mortgage and 4 houses to view!!!!!x

Rachel - hope your meditation group went well   .

hugs to all buds

Curlyone
xx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds. Been awake since 5 this morning, cant sleep. Worried about mais, she's not herself and slept on the dining table last night   normally sleeps with us on bed. I'm also nervous re houses tomorrow, god knows why ??!! Don't feel excited. I just don't know what's going on in my head. 

Will be glad to get today over, chill tonight. Got parents over for dinner tomorrow and I'm going to talk budgets.. Sunday dh is at a golf day so me and a friend are going party outfit shopping.

AF came few days ago, hoped for a litte miracle this time. Made conscious effort around timings, quantity etc, you get me .. But no. 

Sorry it's all woe buds, struggling with the positivity at the moment.

Xxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Maise moo -     I am hoping you find strength from somewhere to get back on top and look forward to youe wonderful birthday and the year that lies ahead of you.

Squirrel - good luck hon, I went for my transfer on my own, I actually embraced being on my own after and relaxing and visualising.  We are all here virtually with you xxx

Pooky - Most of the sonographers Ihave had have all been like that, not on. xx

Karen - Lovely to hear from you and so happy you have found somewhere new, fingers crossed this is the year for you x

KAt - Have a fab time on the mountains.

All buds - hello and big love, on phone so not very good at long posts

Dxx


----------



## 1972

Hey D - hope you are well. Not long now !!!!! 

I'm currently sat in Starbucks, enjoying a non diet blueberry muffin. Car in kwik fit having 2 tyres fitted. Company car so they have to go through loads of black tape just to get 2 new tyres. Flipping ridiculous!


----------



## Pookychops

maisie - the sugar is good for you on such a cold morning   when do you get the results back from the vets? Our charlie always used to sleep in odd places when he wasn't too well - he always did wardrobes or bushes out the front


----------



## 1972

Vet said they'd come back today or tomorrow morning and they'll call me. She's deffo under weather as she's acting so weird. Feel a bit helpless. DH off today so she has some company.

It's so silly how all these small things like tyres, cat , work are all currently things I just can't cope with! I want to curl up and cry. But I won't do that in Starbucks, might get some looks !!  

Xx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - sounds like you really need a break. How about talking to your Dr about how you are feeling? You shouldn't have to feel like this. The odd low day is OK, but feeling like this all of the time means you could probably do with some time out    . I just had a blueberry muffin too   

Squirrel - the black sheep is always the one we notice and are drawn to, the one we want to take home. And remember, perfection is dull.   

D


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Special  for *maisiemoo*. Sorry to hear maisiemoo  hasn't been herself... I know how distressing it is worrying about beloved pets. I'm sure the vet will get her back to her old self soon enough . Ned also sends kitten get well kisses to maisiemoo .
Great news on the mortgage and house viewings you have lined up! Let's hope this is the start of a fabulous year to come .
Oh, and have fun party dress shopping! I think you deserve to treat yourself to all the accessories too .

*Pooky*: How frustrating to have been left feeling fed up after your scan. The fab news is the Pookettes are doing well , and I hope you can get your thyroid meds sorted ASAP to get your levels back to stable.
And as for feeling like a golden oldie: as *Curly* said, you are by far old! Look at it this way, who do you think is going to make the better mother: you at 38 (?), in a stable, loving relationship and whose pregnancy is not only planned but was so very much wanted you put yourself through hell and back to get achieve your cherised dream or a 22 year old who didn't plan this and needs her parents to hold her hand at scans?

*Curly*: Amazing post, as always . 
Loved your advice to *Squirrel* and would definitely advise the same. 
I think next time you should accompany *Pooky* to her scan - the sonographer won't know what's hit him!
Anyhow, how are YOU? Hope you're feeling on top form !

*Squirrel*, dear *Squirrel*. What fantastic news on your CURRENT cycle!! You sly old thing ! It all sounds very much like it was meant to be . I'm sorry you're feeling a bit wobbly though about heading over to Spain for ET alone . I wish I was able to come along with you for moral support. I really think though you should ask someone in your family (or DH's?). You are anything but the black sheep - you've been nothing but 110% selfless in keeping things under wraps so as not to feel like you're putting anyone out or messing up anyone's plans, and so, so brave. I'm sure your family are bursting with pride at what you have achieved so far in life and how you handle all the crap that otherwise gets thrown at you. You are a wonderful person and I'm sure your family would be more than happy to support you when you need it the most . 
If you really don't want to ask anyone to go with you though, then I'd definitely follow *Curly's* advice and firstly let the clinic know you'll be there alone and are worried due to past experiences and then book yourself flights and a nice hotel, get out the tour guides and then when the time comes, make sure to treat yourself every step of the way ! Also, is there any way you could take a laptop or something with you to keep in touch with DH via Skype but also take along some DVDs to watch on it while you're there if you don't feel up to going out and about?

Well, *Buds*, now it's time for my confession... My heart is racing and I literally feel sick with nerves as I type this. You see, I too have been a bit of a secretive Bud for the last few days . I've been umming and ahhing over what to say, how to say it, if at all to say it and worrying about upsetting anyone . I decided though that I needed to tell you, as I didn't want to tell porkies or "ignore" any questions or even not post... Basically I'm pregnant. It is of course very, very early days and I'm so very, very worried that something is going to go wrong again (the amount of times I'm up and down those stairs to the bathroom knicker-checking ), but we got a surprise natural BFP the other day. No one is more astounded than we are! It still all very much feels like either a mad dream or a sick joke and I'm well aware that we're far from out of the woods yet.
I'm so, so, so sorry if this upsets anyone , and I hope you won't mind me continuing to post and support you.

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Honor are you completly mad! thats absolutely wonderful news , why wouldnt we want to know that, im so happy for you , i thought you were quiet cos you werent able to have tx , i can imagine how you are feeling apprehesive but it is a fantasic surprise.sending you all my love , im in tears.xxxxx

Maisie massive hugs hope she is ok, if you dont want to go look around house tomz dont go!  x

wow what a busy day for you all.

afm dh has appointment for his TESA which i have to pay for of course and his treatening not to go, it really pisses me off that not only is a infertile but he holds it over me and drags his heals , something has to give.


----------



## Twinklie

I'm so sorry i'm being such a crappy bud these days. There are so many discussions going on and I haven't been able to follow properly so figured I wouldn't have many useful things to say.   

Just wanted to send Honor some huge congratulations! Looking forward to hearing more and obviously crossing every finger I've got. 

Also lots of luck to current cyclers, and     to those of you who need it.

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - that's fabulous news!   Maybe your body just needed a kick up the butt and the ivf pregnancy managed to kick started your body into action - it can happen.     

Have you been to the doctors yet? You need to go and get your thyroid levels checked out.


----------



## Big hat

Honor -     that is such incredibly fantastic news.  You really do deserve this.  Go Honor, woo, woo, woo!!!! And don't you dare think about dropping that bombshell and walking away from us    xxxxx

Hey Twinklie - hope all goes well with you. xx

Rachel - bless, sweetie, I'm sure with your DH his reluctance is to do with his perception of himself as a man, and the fact that the infertility is on his part makes him feel less of a man, and he just wants to blot 'this secret' out etc.  Fingers crossed, once it's done and all given the ok he'll be more like his normal self.  

Gladys - just a little hi  .  Looking forward to your news in a few weeks.

Maisie - sweetie  .  xxxx

hey Pooky  

If you buds keep making me gasp when I read your posts (Squirrel, Karen, Honor) I swear I will pass out  

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

thanks Curly your words are so kind and wise, i hope we will see one another soon.


----------



## Carey

Afternoon my lovely buds.

Honor - How exciting     i bet you are so happy. Make sure you let the doctors know as they will keep an extra eye on you I'm sure   xxx

Maisie - Hope your cat is better soon...... I'm thinking of sending mine to a behavioral person as all she seems to do at the moment is meow, its constant & is driving me mad! xx

All other buds, i hope you are well & sending                 to you all.

Hope you all have a good weekend & the weather is dry...... we have a lovely bright day here today & i believe the sun has popped out once or twice  


xxx


----------



## Honor77

Thanks *Buds* . Cautiously happy. Very grateful but know not to take for granted.

*Rachel*: I'm sure it must seem like a very daunting, unpleasant experience for DH, but hope he'll go along in the end. Sending you a big .

*Twinklie*: Hope you're doing well .

*Pooky*: Have PMed you re. thyroid.

*Curly*: Now have a funny image in my head of you falling off your chair while reading the thread . Please don't!

*Carey*: How's the nursery coming along? 
It's been a funny one here today weather wise: dry and sunny (but cold!) one minute, dark and raining the next.

*AFM*: Slow day for work today... I'm not particularly good at keeping myself amused while waiting on work .

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

Honor - OMG - that is fantastic news, I am so happy for you . I think your pussycat sent that miracle to you xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Let us know how you get on, Honor. My clinic were very good and scanned me several times and did hcg tests without me having to pay anything even though it was a natural BFP. Very reassuring. All good with me, can feel baby move several times a day now, have got some typical aches and pains but nothing worth complaining about... You'll experience it yourself very soon!   

Dee - I got a couple of jobs through your colleague here in Sweden.   So thanks for that!


----------



## 1972

Wow! Congratulations honor, that's fantastic news   I speak from my dark depths to say please can no one be scared to post on here. It doesn't make me sad, it gives me hope and makes me happy for my buds as you really deserve it xxxxxxx 

I feel like I need to just plough through this.. I have a week off  in feb so have that to look forward to. Time out will make matters worse as have so much to think about.work doesn't go away it just builds when I'm not there. 

I'm alright buds and thank you all for being so sweet. 

 to Rachel. Xx


----------



## Pookychops

How's Maisie cat?


----------



## 1972

No news from vets , she said results would be in latest tomorrow. Mais is currently under the spare bed right in the middle of all the junk under there, won't come out . She purred when I gave her a stroke but think she just wants a bit of quiet..


----------



## ma-me28

wow honor that is fab news
maisie  
gladys and carey not long now how exciting.x
karen and squirrel great news on your new cycles .
big hello and hugs to everyone else.x


----------



## Karen_S

WOW! *Honor *- what fantabulous news! Yours is such a motivating story (you and Twinklie)... Makes me glad I peed on the ovulation stick for the last 7 days and continued to believe in the "natural" way. You just never ever know.

*Maisie *- Hoping that little purr-maisie pulls through. I'm sending her, and more importantly, YOU, a big   

*Curly *- please do not pass out! We need you alive, breathing and in good condition to continue writing your entertaining posts! 

*Kat *- good to see you on here. Hope things are going well and 'snowingly'. Thinking of you. 

*Pooky *- Poo-poo to the sonographer  and anyone else who chooses to rain on your Pookette parade! You are not old, you earned your pregnancy and no-one has the right to dampen your happiness one little bit. BTW thanks also for the information re the Zoladex. NOt too scared about it now. 

*Dee*- good to hear from you, Please rub your bump, then rub your PC screen, (or maybe rub your bump on the screen) then send it to me   

*Rachel *- Sorry DH is causing you grief. The boys have a hard time of this too, and denial and anger become their coping mechanism. Men just need to know that no matter what, you love them, need them and the sun shines out their @rses (however, you NEVER say this last one directly) . Once they have that little bit of self-confidence they can face the dramas a little more bravely. Good luck with it all.  

HI all other BUds.

I'm off to bed now, but just couldn't read and run once I saw Honor's news. How spectacular is that. Still can't believe it, and I bet you feel even more so, right Honor?!

*AFM *- last drug-free weekend in a while. So it's red wine, gooey cheeses and real tea this weekend before the fat d/r injection. I'm thinking its going to be a whopper, because I'm not allowed to give it to myself and have to go my local doctor. I bet the needle is the size of a drinking straw, and it hurts like hell, and I bruise for a month! Best to prepare myself for the worst and the reality can only be far better, right!

G'night BUds,  sleep tight and have a wonderful weekend. DH and I are going snow-hunting, hoping to go walking in the snow in the mountain area south of here...if there's any snow left that is....
_*

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. *_


----------



## bell26

Honor, what amazing news    congratulations Hunni xxx

Hi to all you gorgeous buds, still following you all and sprinkling lots of baby dust your way(s)

Xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Oh my goodness Honor - huge congratulations   xx


----------



## rachel1972

Have a fab weekend Karen , you always sound so cheery and together , I love that.xx

afm Im so glad I have this support it really does keep me sane. kinda.  

Honor when did you actually do the test?  How many weeks are you?  You have made everyones day, please dont ever keep anything from us ever again... xx

Maisie is maisie out from under the bed.

Dh went to his appointment and got caught up in major sercurity problem in London and his phone had died I thought he had gone AWOL.  He his scared as last time it was in UCHL under general and this time it will be local in private clinic.  and he has to pay for it..
Have a great weekend you lovely girls


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* , and thank you for the lovely messages last night - means a lot .

*Dee*: Have PMed you. Hope you're doing well - not long now at all !!

*Twinklie*: Thanks for your PM, have replied .

*maisie*: Have also replied to your lovely PM . 
That's great you have a week off work coming up - hope the time flies until then but slows down during your week off ! Any plans for it?
Any news from the vets on maisiemoo ? Hope you hear soon. It sounds quite normal for her to be actly a little strange and hiding away a bit if she's not feeling herself. Poor thing, hope she gets well soon.

*ma-me*: Not long to you start DR now! How are you feeling about it all?

*Karen*: I am indeed in total shock - I'd just presumed it wasn't going to happen so wasn't really tracking cycles etc. That's not to say I was by any means relaxed - I'd been in such a deep grief over the  and miscarriage and so down about not being able to afford to try again that I wasn't in a good place at all. So no idea how it happened, but am certainly not complaining! But you're right, you just can never know .
Hope you have a fun, gourmet weekend - don't forget the cheesecake ! Did you manage to find any snow?
That's great news that you only have one big DR injection to do and won't have the hassle of daily injections, or worse still what I know is for you the horror of daily sniffs . 
I have such a good feeling about your new clinic and new protocol  !

*Bell*: OMG - noticed your updated profile info and can't believe your little one will be here so soon ! How are you feeling about it all? Please keep us updated!

*squirrel*: How are you feeling now? What's the plan re. ET? Hope you're feeling calmer and are getting a plan in place .

*rachel*: So glad DH went to his appointment. That's you now one step closer ! What happens next and when?
I tested on Tues. and then again yesterday. Going by date of last period, I should be 5 weeks on Monday, so still really early days.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## bell26

Hi Honor,

Well it's all very scary but exciting at the same time.... I still pinch myself daily ! I am having an elective section on the 10th Feb as baby is measuring large (9lbs @37 weeks) Dr is estimating a 10lb'er ! My family have always had big bubbas so did kind of expect her to be a chunky monkey 

So chuffed to read your news, I understand you are probably scared sh*tless but I am sure after everything you have been through that this is your time.

I hope 2012 brings amazing things for all of you gorgeous buds xx think of you all often and read of your progress, I don't post often as I don't want to be the irritating pregnant bird xx

Bell xx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi Buds - how is everyone?

Good luck Bella with the c.section. xx

Honor thats great, are you seeing your gp next week are you on anything like asprin?
Im booked for the 23rd to see consultant, with have a scan and take it from there.

afm been to engangement party last night had a few drinks but had the looks from cousins one who is due next month.  the only thing that dh auntie said was your not having anymore cos your son has special needs this is the excuse that my dh and inlaws like to use around the family rather that the truth!!  makes me want to scream.

love and light to all R xx


----------



## ma-me28

rachel 
bell wow 10lb!!! good luck with your caesarian hun.x
honor yes not long now just under 2weeks im happy to be finally starting again, but would be lying if i wasnt a little anxious about the outcome but am trying to be as positive as i can.x


----------



## Hannushka

Happy sunday everyone!
*HONOR-* How wonderful news!!    Congrats! These news never make me sad, the more positives come up on our cheesecake gang, it brings me hope for it to happen to us too. Take it easy now   and try not to worry xx
*Bell-* Lot's of   for the 10th. Can't wait to hear the news when chunky monkey is in your arms safe and sound xx
*Karen*- Hope drug-free weekend has been lovely. Snow hunting sounds great. I can't wait to get to the snowy Finland 
*Kat-* Hope you are well. There is no need to rush into things, take every day as it comes, I'm sure you are having a brilliant holiday, enjoy it. I have now bought my ticket home and get to stop in Norway too for an hour and 15 minutes. Never been to Norway before lol
*Rachel* Next time: SCREAM. Because you wILL feel better afterwords.Hope you have now let the stem out and everything is ok. Curly is right about dh, these things tend to knock mens pride a little. Glad he got it done though xx
*Dee* How are you? Not long now  
*Carey* Hope nursery is taking shape now... I've been DREAMING of planning mine as been looking for flats now... One day I will get to do it too 
ma-me- Hope you are well x
Pooky- Great news The Pookettes are already learning their dance moves. The Pookettes- great stage name too xx
Everyone- Big hugs!!
AFM- Everything is coming along great atm, sold the house too, shook hands on friday. And we only had to drop £4000 from the original price, I'm rather suprised to be honest. Painting still not finished though, hubby decided to hire someone to do it so he can continue sitting by the PS3  Well, he's now gone to drop off the gym to someone, £120 to our savings lol I also bought my ticket and am flying off 14th of march, which means, I'm afraid that I won't be having time for a meet up, as I got exactly 2 weeks to get everything packed. Also got a great quote from a shipping company so oddly, everything is running smoothly atm...
 
Take care all 
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Bell*: But you must post and keep us updated! Of course we want to know how you're doing and wish you all the best .
 with your whopper! My brother was also ca. 10lb, but he's the tallest skinniest thing now (*jealous*  )!

*rachel*: I can understand you being annoyed with DH and the in-laws "covering up" the real reason why you haven't had more children. It's such a difficult one though... It must be very hard for DH to accept/admit to even himself that he has IF issues, I can understand that, as my DH doesn't want people knowing we had IVF, let alone why. No matter who the "problem" lies with, when you find out, it comes as a big blow. I know our original diagnosis upset me because of what it would mean for us having a family, but know it was probably more of a personal blow to DH.
Try not to dwell too much on it and instead to focus on the steps you are now taking to cycle again and the baby this cycle may well result it . Thinking of you .

*ma-me*: It's completely normal to be approaching the start of your new cycle with a mixture of excitement and trepidation . Keep up the positivity, and do everything you can to make sure you put yourself (and DH!) first - rest, relax, spoil yourself, "protect" yourself from any potentially upsetting events... .

 to everyone else!

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Hanna * ,

Our posts have just crossed! Thanks for the congrats .

So glad everything is going smoothly for you move! How fab that you've sold the house so quickly - very lucky in the current climate! You didn't sell to *maisiemoo* did you ?!

Can't believe you're leaving the country so soon! How's the flat-hunting going? Will you initially stay with family? And what about jobs, anything interesting?

Promise you'll keep posting once you're back in Finland .

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Honor- No, Maisiemoo rejected my offer   I did try!! We'll stay at my mum's flat to start with, as can't apply for a flat until We're officially in Finnish register. Been really just looking at different areas and what they have to offer. Have found the area now, they got loads of flats and they all have a sauna in them!!! Gosh, I have missed sauna! It's never the same here at the gyms and stuff. 
I will keep posting, promise xx


----------



## 1972

Fab news Hanna that everything's going so smoothly   , the house was a little out of my search radius  

Xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

How are you all today ? Have you all also got some snow ?! Think it's stopped here, but was snowing lightly before - too damp to lie though. 
Ned made me smile when I went through to the living room for lunch - he was stretched out on his radiator bed, which was hung on the back of a chair near the window due to the radiator being used to dry washing, and looked so warm, cosy and content in his bed with a good view of the cold weather outside ! He didn't move from his position when he saw me but was happy for me to tickle his tummy for a while! Do any of you know the "Soft Kitty" song from "The Big Bang Theory?" - very fitting for Ned! It goes: "Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little ball of fur. Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr, purr, purr" 

*Hanna*: Good to hear you won't be deserting us ! I'm a bit of a webcam freak, so you'll have to tell us the town you'll be living in and I'll see if I can find the cam and arrange to wave to you  !
Do you mean you can't rent a flat until you're registered in Finland? Sounds like you're going to find the perfect place to live. So glad things are working out so well for you .
And what's the news on your appeal? Are you just going to take your embies with you now, as I'm guessing you're otherwise not really going to have time to do the FET beforehand, funding or no funding ?

*maisie*: Any news on maisiemoo ? Hope she's doing better .
Did you find a fab new dress yesterday for your party? Tell us what it's like!

*Kat*: . Hope your holiday is doing you the world of good .

*Lynn*: Long time no hear... Hope all's well with you too .

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hey me lovelies.

Squirrel - are your little nutkins getting jiggy in Espagne ? I hope you are feeling a bit better about your journey (and becoming pupo   ) - what if we bombard you with messages for the duration of your journey and treatment, which is a challenge I think us buds could easily meet  ? x

Karen - how was the injection with the horse tranquilliser dart? hot flushes yet?

Honor - hoping you have your feet and up and are busy daydreaming (yes, I know it's early days but......) . Bless, Honor, I intending to say thank you for thinking I am the person to go in and 'sort' bad service out as I am actually a very tolerant/laid back person etc.... However, on reflection, part of what I do is trouble shooting, and I do have a view on service delivery by people in customer-focussed positions, particularly if those positions are paid for by the public purse (no matter what their job title is), so maybe..... 

Rachel - oh me darlin'  - why you outta . The thing is you have your eye on your goal, your plans are underway and your dream of another baby is a little bit closer, DH is stepping up to the mark AND that is of paramount importance. However, if 'auntie' feels the need to express an opinion of that sort again, there are no thought police and you are at liberty to think 'no, I'm just not going to have one like you yer ald hag'  . simples.....

Bell - oo, Bell, it REALLY isn't long now is it  are you the first? *Gladys, Carey, Twinklie* when are your due dates? How fab, a little glut of babies . Hugs to you all ladies. xx

Pooky - hope it's not to bad being back at work .

Maisie - how are you?

Lynn - I was wondering about you also? You ok lovely?

Hanna - your world sounds so exciting now - the possibilities of what's to come seem endless. Well done you on getting it all together .

Ma- me - hi, not long now!

kat - hope the skiing is invigorating and you and DH are having some down time. xx

Afm: well, the end of the abx's and we were straight in to a series of back-to-back bookings this weekend. Fell into bed exhausted last night, however, I have been feeling icky since last Wednesday - I think it might be the end of the abx's have wrung out my body as DH is fine. I may have to go back to detox and be gentle on myself......

hugs all

Curlyone
x


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

It's been very quiet on here the last couple of days, hope everyone is ok ?

*Curly*: Hurrah for the end of abxs ! Do though continue to be gentle on yourself, although I wouldn't necessarily say you need to go on a complete detox - it's important to also enjoy a little of what you like .
Any job news?

 to everyone else, and ,  and  to all those currently cycling and about to!

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Good evening ladies

I've been lurking again sorry I've just caught up on about 8 pages  I just had to say a huge congrats to honor. I'm so chuffed for u. 

Bell. How exciting ull b a mummy by 10th feb. is it scarey to know exact date? 

Twinkle how r doing chick? 

Hula how's u babe? 

Hanna I'm pleased u got ur house sold. Do u have a move in date yet? 

Curly how r u getting on? 

Carey and dee. U2 don't have long left r all preparations coming along nicely. 

Karen. When do u start again? 

Squirel.  How r u feeling? Full of  viva espanga? 

Hi to everyone I've missed. I'm on phone and it's difficult to scroll back and I have an awful memory. 

Afm. Not been myself. Had more ups and downs than a yoyo. Work r threatening disciplinary action due to sickness all iui related. To top it off I've had a sickness bug the last few days thankfully I've had days off. 
I'm just feeling out of sorts as am sure we have all felt at some point. Af due this week so iui soon fx. 

Big hugs for Rachael and kat. Xxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening buds  

Pooky – thanks for the extra info, good to know in case I need any of these scans in the future – fingers crossed this cycle works! Thanks for the offer of a dr’s number, I got through...... eventually. I think thats one of my biggest bugbears about Guys. Ha ha made me laugh about your mother in law squealing at the scan and the whole hospital hearing – did she?! 
I have no idea If I could pee and stop – yes how do you know when its half done?

Squirrel – thanks and back at ya chin up tits out! Great news re your cycle – wish I could come to spain with you but I cant. 

Carey – time ticking down for you at work – I hope you have lots of lovely lunches planned with your colleagues. Will you miss it? Hope bubba is getting ready for head down. Could sound like bingo! Eyes down...  Hope the nursery is coming along nicely.

Kat –thanks. Hope you are doing ok and that you have a lovely holiday. Relax and enjoy and be at your own pace – thats what holidays are for. The fresh mountain air will be wonderful and the scenery amazing. Be careful on your board!

Curly – how was the party, did it get messy? Hows the job hunting? Sorry to hear that one of the jobs got downgraded.

Maisie- hope your ok hun and hope work is ok. I feel like tx puts my life on hold a bit, cant leave job etc although this time round I am actually on a contract so if I do need to leave to have a baby then I have nothing to go back to which would be a really odd feeling. I think I would want to return to work part time to keep my hand in...anyway its all what ifs so I think I will leave those thoughts to another time.Sorry if you are in trouble – im sure it will all blow over soon. I liked curlys thought about blowing a raspberry before a meeting – trouble is i would prob laugh out loud and get in even more trouble!  Hope your  maisie cat is doing ok

Karen – wow go go go! Zoladex sounds interesting, much better than sniffing and remembering to do it. Im quite lucky I don’t get any side effects but im pleased you have this option as you really suffered last time round with your sinuses. Just remembered you start today – back on the rollercoaster again hey. Im thinking we will be pretty close on cycle, having looked at dates from last time I think my ec will be towards the end of feb but depends on if my stims changes this time round as last time I had quite a few immature eggs. Good luck! Sounds like the Czech clinic is a good un.

Rachel – hope you are feeling less stressed, hows ethan been this week?

Honor – congratulations – that’s such great news! Everything crossed for you, keep us updated, we will be cross if you dont!.

Hi Twinklie! Wow you’re over half way now!

Bell – wow you’re due soon as well – good luck! I’m not surprised you are electing for a c-section. 10lbs is big.

Hanna –sounds like everything is going really smoothly, hope it continues and that you are all settled and back home soon.

Lynn- hey how are you? Sorry to hear work isn’t great.

Afm – started down regging last Thursday so I am on day 6 – all going ok so far. Have managed to change my scan appointment due to DH being away around the time when he is needed. Really pleased about that, it was adding to my stresses! Have been to acupuncture which was ok. Wouldnt say I found it that relaxing as the first time the room I was in was freezing cold as the heating had packed up. The next time was better although was after work and had rushed there,crowded trains etc. Will try harder to relax next time.  Hopefully due to start stims on 13th Feb so I will keep sniffing until then and try and be relaxed. Need to start trying to book some leave from work although its not that easy when your body dictates everything.

Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi buds 

LYnn that sounds awful, stay calm, hope it all works out and you feel better soon xx

hulagirl, hope you are ok and manage to keep stress to a min.xx

afm Ethan hasnt been this week to nursery as he had sickness at the weekend and you are meant to keep them off for 48hours so i called in and left message on a. machine and then the head phoned me saying he want decissions to be made together??  he wasnt privy to the meetings with nursery teacher or senco, where i told them all my concerns anyway he wants to see me on Friday, He is very nice but im getting the impression that the teacher is not epuiped to deal with Ethans outbursts.  I will just have to sit tight.


----------



## lynn1303

Aw Rachel hunni that's awful. What type of nursery r they that can't communicate with each other? Don't let them being u down. Make sure they have an action plan that suits u and Ethan about a way to deal with his behaviour. 

Big hugs. Xx


----------



## rachel1972

im starting to wonder if special needs means money and thats the problem with the system , synical i know


----------



## Big hat

Hey Rachel, I agree with Lynn - make sure they have an action plan for you (I'm assuming they have been communicating now).  Please, above all, don't feel apologetic or brow beaten by them.  You did not have training to be a mum, and Ethan has not had training to be a 3 year old, however, they have had training (and continue to) to work with children and families.  Remember to ask them what their suggestions and plans are, and don't feel you need to agree with them on Friday - take the time over the weekend to discuss with DH, and mull it over. Above all, don't let it upset you, you have a beautiful little boy, and all children need help and support to reach their potential   . xx

The only other thing I would say is, if he is being statemented, keep a strict watch on what they are writing on his notes, and do challenge if you think it is unfair/inaccurate.

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Hannushka

Sorry, haven't read posts, but thought I let the steam out first and scroll back later...

MY APPEAL WAS APPROVED!! OMG! Ok, that's the really great news, what isn't great is that QM might take 2 months to come back to me... ummmm leaving the country in March!! WHY!? WHY!? Why did I buy the ticket?? And not only that, I'm sure they'll need all new blood tests too...
I had already accepted my failure,and now... what am I going to do...? I suppose if I can't cancel the flight, it's still cheap price to pay £118 waisted ticket money for a FET  
I cannot believe this. I feel like I've just won the lottery but can't find my ticket!!


----------



## Pookychops

That's great news Hanna!

They shouldn't need to do any other tests on you. All I had to do for my FET was call up when I was ready to go for it.  You should call the hospital admin and see if the funding has been made available yet to them and then ask to start asap.


----------



## Hannushka

Just got reply back from head of ACU, he's heard about my appeal but hasn't got anything in writing yet. It's the 1st day of my af TODAY!!! EEEEEK! Wanna go noooow!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Wow, *Hanna*, excellent news ! I'd take *Pooky's* advice and find out how quickly you could get the ball rolling. I'm guessing that having to buy a new plane ticket so you can do FET here for free will still work out cheaper than doing the transfer in Finland?

*Rachel*: I really feel for you, it must be a total minefield . They say information is power, so I'd find out all you can independently, go along to the meeting Friday with everything you want to discuss and ask written down, pen and paper to make notes and make sure you're given time to think things over/look into things further. Basically what *Curly* said . But don't ever forget that you are a fabulous mama who only wants the best for her little boy .

*Curly*: Once again a great giver of advice . 
Hope all's well with you .

*Hula*: Thanks for the congrats .
Glad everything's going well for you with your new cycle . And great you were able to change appointments so DH can be there when he's needed - must have been a huge relief! Hope everything continues to go well .

*Lynn*: Thanks for your texts last night . Really hope everything will work out ok with work and your next IUI is the one . 
I might be up north again end of March - will keep you posted and we can perhaps arrange to meet up again?

*AFM*: I sent *squirrel* a text last night to see how she was, as she's been a bit quiet of late and I knew she had her trip to Spain coming up so wanted to check she was ok and wish her luck. She's asked me to let you all know that it looks like things have gone wrong with her donor cycle and so she's probably not heading for Spain this week . She said she simply can't face coming on here at the moment and isn't sure when she'll be back...
It makes me *SO* cross that any of us have had to go through what we've been through/are going through to achieve our dreams. It's not like we're asking for the world and each and every one of us will make far better mothers than the hoards of idiots, and worse, who seem to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat .
I wish there was something we could do to help *squirrel*, but guess all we can do is keep her in our thoughts and hope that things take a turn for the better for her soon.
That goes for everyone else currently struggling .

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

*Hanna*: Could you fax them a copy of your decision letter? Or are they able to contact someone directly for clarification? This could all work out perfectly !    !!!!

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Aww Lynn, you poor thing, surely though, in your profession they will be a bit more understanding about iui time off?  Well, we can hope anyway  .  At least your body is playing ball at the mo' and getting you ready for your next tx.  Good luck sweetie.  x

Hanna - What a dilemma......Grab it with both hands!!!!!!!  Are you redirecting your mail so that you could get the appointment and fly back for it (What?  .  Ok, not strictly playing ball but   ). xx

Hula - bless you.  I'm not entirely sure that lying rigid with cold whilst someone tries to stick needles in you is the most appropriate or relaxing treatment  .  Where they not able to buy a £14 fanheater from argos or somesuch  ?  Better luck next time sweetie. It's a means to an end.......xx

Squirrel - me darlin', I'm so sorry that things hadn't worked out as planned   especially as you were nervous. I really hope that you get some good news before the end of the week.  Am sending you a massive hug  . On a very small positive note, hopefully, your DH will be able to go next time. lots of love.

Honor - you are so good, keeping in touch with everyone.  Where would we be without you?  (now, no more talk of scarpering, we want to hear your good news as it grows  ). xx

Hi Pooky  .

Hi to all other buds.

hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

thanks curly and honor for your kindness and widsom.

Hanna thats amazing hope you can sort it all out.


----------



## Hannushka

Evening,
Rachel- Good luck for the meeting friday. I hope it goes well, hun xx
Honor- Hope you are feeling well, sinking in yet?  
Squirrel- Sending a masive hug your way. So sorry to hear your trip got cancelled. Please stay strong, it ain't over yet,not even close  
Pooky- How are the Pookettes? And how are you? BTW you were right, I need no tests  
Curlyone- How are you? I really really love your way of making us all see sense while we're in despair, your advice to us all is just wonderful xx
Hula- How is downregging going? Hope not too many side effects xx
Karen- Hello to you too... only about 5 months till the annual Eurovision-night  
Kat- Hope you are good too xx
Lynn- Hope you are well too honey x
And everysingle one of you, Bell, ma-me,Zoe, Maisie...everyone  
AFM- Panic over. I got a call from the nurse from the clinic where I left a rambling voicemail as soon as I'd heard from my gp, the appeal had been accepted. I explained her that I'm leaving the country and don't know when I'll be back, and that the head of ACU needs to see the letter before commenting. She said she's gonna have a word, he came on the phone and said 'you know what, you have been played enough, we'll book you to a scan now, and I'll deal with any problems if there's going to be any.' So, I got a scan booked for day 10 of my cycle which is 10th of feb (same as Bell's elective section   ) and I should be pupo around the 13th if thawing goes to plan  He also said that as a completely different matter, I should try to get a refund for the money I paid for the freezing, but to worry about that later as for that I don't have to be in the country where as for my transfer it is required    I was so excited I finished the call 'Love you, byeee!'   How embarrassing, I don't know where that came from   It is just so weird that things are going to plan, it is scary!! I keep pinching myself. Now, I'm taking this just as an experience, it's just about throwing my icke treacles where they belong and see what happens. I do not hold too much hope but am not being negative either. If it doesn't work, I'll be too busy moving and sorting things out to start dwelling on it, and it is one less things to carry home to Finland with me   
Simples  
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## bell26

Fantastic news Hanna  xx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds 

Rachel - Wise words from curly and lynn – hope Fridays meeting gets some things established and a plan in place. Are there any local support groups?

Hanna – wow congratulations that’s amazing news – I love that you said love you byee!! That’s so funny! Plans have a way of coming together – all you need now is that bfp – the icing on the cake! Best of luck, we’ll all be sending sticky vibes your way. Must feel like a whirlwind all happening so quickly. Can’t believe you will be pupo in less than 2 weeks!

Honor – yes very happy to have got the appointment changed – all I need to do now is pray for no snow – that would be just my luck. A couple of years ago when it snowed heavily it was impossible to get into London – fingers crossed it doesn’t snow although I think the forecast for next week has warmed up a bit now.

Squirrel – if your lurking big hugs to you. So sorry your donor didn’t work out this time, don’t give up hope, there will be other donors.

Curly – yes the first acupuncture session did make me wonder ha ha! To be fair to them, my appointment was 9am and the heating had only broken that day, they went out and bought heaters and my sesh on Monday was a lot better, next one tomorrow. Hopefully it will be tropical!  

Maisie – how is maisie cat?

AFM- sniffing done for today, next acupuncture tomorrow. Off for a bath – I’m freezing!
Love to all, ho to everyone 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hey buds

Just a real quickie from me.. I'm having a really busy time at work. So stressed. I'm not in a good place at all, feel like I'm drowning and my head is exploding...

Poor Maisie cat is v poorly. She keeps meowing in a way that makes me feel like she's trying to tell me something. Her thyroid test came back ok. She's me being tested fo urine issues like kidney failure/ diabetes. She's drinking loads, eating little and hiding. I'm so worried about her.

Hanna - fab news   xx

Squirrel -   xxxx

Honor - sorry, was working earlier and missed your Skype message. You'd gone by time I saw. Xx

 and   to everyone. Catch up soon.

 mais xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Morning *Buds* ,

Hope you're all keeping warm on this cold day !

*Curly*: Ha ha! Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere !
Any news on jobs? Keeping everything crossed for you !

*Hanna*: Perfect . Loved how you ended the call! I was in hysterics and so had to tell DH why who also found it funny ! Only 8 days to your scan!! Hope everything continues to go well for you .

*Hula*: How's the sniffing going? When exactly is your scan next week?

*maisie*: Special  for you. "It never rains but it pours", eh? Keeping everything crossed for you too that this tough time will pass and that you, and maisiemoo , will come through the other end intact and with renewed hope and optimism .
Hope the vet can establish what's bothering maisiemoo  soon and then start to make her better...
Any news on the house-hunting front? Did you like any you saw last weekend? Any lined up to visit this weekend?
Don't worry about missing me on Skype - thought you were probably at work.

Love to everyone else - missing you, *Kat*, *Karen* and *Squirrel* .

xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Crikey, you girls are hard to keep up with! Feel as though I am on the periphery somewhat - sorry for not posting as often as most of you and also apologies if I have missed anyone in my personals!

Honor - that's really fab news, congratulations. Especially as you were so fed up being in IVF limbo. I am really happy for you. 

Lynn - sorry to read about your troubles at work. It's the last thing you need when you are going through tx as well. Are you in a union or anything like that? You can get good advice from Acas or Citizens Advice if not.

Hulagirl - hope your down regging is going OK. I am always in two minds about acupuncture but I do it because if there's even the smallest chance it might help, I guess I think it might be worth it. Not cheap, though!

Karen - how was your megajab??

Rachel - I hope the meeting on Friday goes OK. Sounds like the communication at the nursery is not good! My mum is in charge of special needs at a nursery. She would be very cross at that sort of standard - I hope you get things sorted.

Hanna - great news, hurrah!!!

Squirrel - if you are reading, I'm so so sorry about your donor cycle. I hope you know that we're all here for you when you're ready. xx

Curly, Maisie and Pooky - hi and hope you are all OK, and Maisie, I hope Maisiecat gets better soon - when do you get the other test results? x

Kat - hi to you too if you're reading - hope you are OK x

Sorry if I've missed anyone!

AFM - I had EC Monday, and got 6 eggs. 5 were suitable for ICSI and 3 fertilised (ever dwindling numbers, eh?!). I had ET yesterday (was v.impressed with the consultant who did it - he was so gentle I did not feel a thing other than an odd cold sensation). I had a 2-cell and a 3-cell put back. The other embryo had started to fragment so was not suitable for freezing. 

I was a bit disappointed because last time it was a 2-cell and a 4-cell, but the clinic said not to worry. So I have to put that out of my mind, I think.  OTD is 15 Feb. It's weird - last time, I sort of just believed it would work, but what happened afterwards was quite a shock and so now I am very wary. You also look at the stats and daren't believe anything. It would be devastating to get a BFN but another miscarriage would be even worse. 

I felt really bloated after EC and it is only just starting to go down. I was feeling down about what I had done to my body, especially as most of my friends are pregnant or have had recently had children. I found the physical side harder this time around for some reason and just dread the thought of having to go through it all again. It really does feel like a lot is at stake.

But anyway, I mustn't be negative as I don't suppose that helps anyone. I guess you all understand how scary it all is!

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Lovely to hear from you, *mrs_ixy*, and to hear that you're PUPO !

I know it's very hard not to compare emybro "quality" and worry about the outcome, especially after all you went through last time . I totally understand where you're coming from when you said it would be devastating to get a BFN but worse to have another miscarriage... The fact of the matter is - perhaps unfortunately, perhaps fortunately - the whole process is so unpredicatable that there is just no way of knowing what the outcome is going to be. What I mean with that is that it's unfortunately unpredictable because that naturally causes added stress, but fortunately unpredicatable because what may initially seem to be "low" chances doesn't always turn out to be the case . [Not sure if I've worded that properly - hope it's come out right ]

I hope the acupuncture can help you relax a little and focus on the positives :

- It's quality not quantity that counts, so the fact you got 5 eggs sounds like a decent number to me 
- The number of cells at the time of transfer isn't necessarily all that important for the outcome: I know of two cases where transfer wasn't even advised due to embyro "quality" yet the women in question insisted on it and subsequently fell pregnant
- You got pregnant before so your chances of getting pregnant again are good 
- Conversely, the fact you miscarried last time does not mean that you're at any greater risk of miscarrying again (I know it's a tough one to think positively about, though...)

You have a lot in your favour for this to work . I hope that the time doesn't drag too much for you until 15th and that you get the outcome you so long for and deserve .

Take good care of yourself,

xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Oh, Honor - thanks so much for your kind words. Made me feel a bit better and more hopeful!

I guess that since it worked before (well, sort of worked - as far as implantation goes), it can work again, and that is what we have to remember.

Thanks again, you are a star   and I hope you are doing well xxx


----------



## Honor77

Glad I was able to reassure you a little, *mrs_ixy* . Of course it can work again! Hope you have lots planned to help the 2ww pass quickly!

Am fine, thanks, very grateful but very scared! Just taking things one day at a time...

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

great news mrs ixy sounds like honor said all good.  

Hana great news, what a lovely man , i know how you must of felt when you said I Love you , i felt the same when i saw my dh consultant for C F dx.  

Maisie - maybe the cat is trying to help you in some way really hope you are ok and she is too.

honor have you been to gp? what is happening now.

afm - been for healing this morning , so blissful now.  

Hi to all you other lovely buds hope you have sunshine where ever you are.

Love and light to everyone


----------



## Pookychops

HI All,

I've just heard from Squirrel and she asked me to give you a update.

She's in Spain and had two embryos transferred. They had 11 eggs with 6 mature and two fertilised. She's a bit fragile at the moment and isn't up to posting. She's heading home tomorrow though to dh and colin   cuddles.

So, its fingers crossed time and lots of      for our dear squirrel.

Mrs_ixy - good to hear from you   Congrats on being pupo. Remember what I told you about my friend with the twins - she was fine the second time and produced a second set of twins, just not identical the second time.

I hope you both manage to cope ok with the two week wait - a truly torturous time I know. I'm still up for being knocked out for it and then until the end of the first trimester as that's just as bad!

Hugs to all

I'm off to have my natural hair colour restored this afternooon - my hair age is about 90 and i wish it to return to 25 ish.....


----------



## Honor77

Hurrah for PUPO *Squirrel* !

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *rachel* ,

Glad your healing session went well this morning - you certainly sound very chilled out !

Yes, have been to the GP - she's going to write to the thyroid people to see how they want to handle things, and today I had a blood test to see what my thyroid levels are currently like.

 for your meeting tomorrow. Hope you come away feeling happier about it all.

xxx


----------



## zedster76

Hi buds, 

thought I'd better share my news with you all . . . I'm a mum to my gorgeous daughter Scarlett Olivia 

She made her appearance into the world 6 weeks early, last Wednesday weighing 3lb 2.5oz.

I had a shocking time of it as I got severe pre-eclampsia!!! Scarlett's still in scbu but doing absolutely fantastic so hopefully we'll have her home with us in a couple of weeks

Will try catch up with you all soon . . . but in the meantime lots of love and hugs buds

. . . ..and a bg sprinkling of baby dust x x x x

zoe


----------



## Honor77

Wow! Congratulations *Zoe* ! Hope Scarlett continues to do well and will be home with you very soon .

You must be the first Bud to have given birth!

xxx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

Just a quick one from me...

OUr first little Bud has bloomed - *Congratulations Zoe* and huge hugs to Scarlett!  I hope she's home with you very soon.

*Mrs Ixy* - Great news on being PUPO! I hope they hold tight. Good luck for the 2WW.   

*Squirrel *- I know you're keeping off-line at the moment, but HUGE congrats to you too on being PUPO! All that drama was worth it. Just hang in there and believe.   
I hope to Skype you soon.

*Maisie *- so sorry that mini-maisie is not doing too well. I hope you can find the cause, and then the cure ASAP. Please don't drown, and we hope your head does not explode - it would be an awful mess for your DH to have to clean up!  Hope you feel better soon.

Love and hugs to all other Buds.
*
AFM* - I had the "horse-tranquiliser dart" injection - IN MY TUMMY- on Monday and so far so good. (thanks for the analogy Curlyone) I couldn't watch, but DH said it looked as though I was being micro-chipped. I never expected a "pellet", but rather normal liquid, and I hadn't expected quite such a spectacle, but at least now its over. I am also maximising the sympathy from DH, by occasionally lifting my shirt, pointing at the still-red and bruised wound and giving my best sad face. Dinner has been cooked for me 3 times this week and he's even done a tonne of domestic duties that I didn't even realise he knew the name of!

So, stimms should start 15th Feb, and hopefully EC 27th or 28th. I just hope this freeeeeezing cold weatheris over by the time we have to drive back to Prague. (yep, -14 Degrees this morning) 
I don't fancy icy conditions and the not-so-great roads.

In case I'm off-air for the next few days - have a great weekend all and chat again soon.

Karen 
_*
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."*_


----------



## lynn1303

Good evenIng buds. On phone do a quick one from me. 

Congrats Zoe. Wish u and baby best of health in the world!!! 

Congrats also to our pupo ladies squirel and mrs ixy. May the nxt 2 weeks be a breaze. 

Hanna fabby news hunni. Fx the universe is telling u this is the one. 

Karen the one off jag sounds fabulous especially after ur sinus issues first time round. Good luck. 

Maisie. I'm so sorry wee Maisie isn't well. What r the vets plans!? 

Honor babes how u feeling? Any symptoms yet? 

Big hugs for all my wonderful buds. I hold u all very dear to my heart and I'm very thankful u r all part of my life. 

Xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Waiting on work yet again... Really need to be earning the pennies now so hopefully things are going to pick up soon .

*Karen*: Lovely to hear from you . Your post made me  with DH saying it looked like you were being microchipped! Was it as painful as it sounds? Glad it's earning you exta tlc from DH.
Another Bud with an important date on 15 Feb. - it's my DH's 40th that day, so I'm hoping it's a lucky day all round .
It must be especially  with you, given it's freezing here. Hope the weather improves by your next trip to Prague.
Have a lovely weekend .

*lynn*: How are you doing? Hope you're getting there . What stage are you at now with your IUI cycle?
I'm fine, thanks .

*rachel*:  for your meeting today.

Really feel like sacking it off and heading off out for the day today, but had better stay home and try and get in some work, plus the cold is kind of off-putting... 

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

congrats to Zoe

karen thinking of you , keep us updated 

squirrel hope you are ok , thinking of you 

afm didnt make to nursery as son is refusing to go and im not up for a fight util he is legally needing to go, i did the forcing before and it didnt work and if the school dont like it , then tough titty feeling really annoyed by being told off by head and my dh is away on business so didnt have him to help me.

hope everyone is staying warm 

Rachel


----------



## Big hat

Woop, woop, woo hoo Zoe with our first baby bud Scarlett and to Squirrel and Mrs Ixy!    Our new pupo ladies - fabulous news, all of it!!!  Squirrel, hope you are safely tucked up at home and getting cuddles now, and Mrs Ixy - I think we all know that it is okay to be a bit up, bit down, and bit sideways on here.  You be however you need to be and we'll be here cheering you on   .

karen - I am so utterly pleased for you that your new tx has started, and all so positively - have good vibes from this.  Loving the image of your mime to DH  .  Well done sweetie, onwards and upwards. xx

Pooky - hope you had a relaxing and pampered time at the hairdressers, having that deep conditioning treatment  .

Hanna - Wow!!! Get a photo of that head of ACU - the one who has a brain, because he is obviously quite rare in this field!!!!! Your life seems to be getting better and better - hurrah! 

Hula - how's the sniffing going?

Maisie - how are you lovely?  How's little maisie - any news?  

Lynn  - and how are you lovely?  Bearing up?

Bell and ma-me, and our soon-to-be-mummies - hi!  

Afm:  Well, me end of detox doesn't seem to be quite working - couple of sneaky drinks on Friday and violently ill in the night, great party on Saturday but Sunday massive headache and achy bones, now in full on cold (again) that  seems to have been on a 3 week cycle since November, and have felt rotten after 2 drinks last night.  Think I may have to hang up my party boots or, the abx's may have affected my stomach lining (it's a bit sensitive, doncha know) so I may have to take things very slowly - DH is made up that it is going to be cheap nights out for a while.  People are sitting on decisions about jobs but I keep rattling off the old applications and something will turn up - until then, I can enjoy walking el poocho and ploughing through so many books that were stacking up unread, so it's not all bad  .

hugs all

Curlyone
x


----------



## 1972

Evening buds.

Sorry I've been a bit quiet, I'm literally exhausted. Been doing long hours and soooo pleased weekend is here. Maisie cat is ok.. It's not her thyroid so I had to do a urine test this week, traumatic! There was blood in her wee so she may have urinary tract infection. So she's now on antibiotics for a week. Then I take her back next week for check up. Doesn't explain weight loss or worsened heart murmur though so they are a bit baffled. I'm not so worried now but hope she's back to normal self soon.

Congrats to Zoe   times flown!

Squirrel - sending you lots of   you brave lady.   xxxxx

Mrs ixy - great news.   and   xx

Karen - that jab sounds so awful   brave girl too. Look after yourself.  

Curly - sorry you've been feeling poop , sending you  too !

Honor, Hanna, pooky, Rachel, Lynn, hula, Bell and all other buds  

Afm - house hunt up and down. Have realised need to stop looking for house and focus on couple of areas. Because we need to move slightly away from where we are now, I search for houses I liked so last weekend all turned out to be in villages I didn't really like.. Still looking though. Don't really know what to do about next cycle.. Times flying, it's 2 months since my bfn so starting to plan a bit...

Love to you all. Xxxxx

Ps - snow due tomorrow - nooooooooooooo!

Pps - I'm missing Kat, hope she's having a fab time xx


----------



## Hannushka

Just a quick one...
Zoe- Congrats for the birth of baby-Scarlett  
Curly- http://www.kingstonacu.org.uk/about-us/83-our-staff there's his picture lol it's the NICK guy  
Best of luck to ll on tx atm and  to everyone who need it. 
I need my bed now so I shall catch upwith you later
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna

/links


----------



## lynn1303

Hey buds. Well I'm in cd1. Start clomid tomorrow and start injecting gonal f 225 on Tuesday. I'll get first scan a week on Monday. So I'm back on the iui ride. Not holding too much hope but I need to try. I do think it'll be ivf for us but I so hope this cycle is the one. I'm 30 in a few weeks and would love to be pg. 

Honor I'd love to meet up hunni. Give me a wee shout when ur at ur mums and we'll get something arranged. 

Horrible day at work today so I'm in bed struggling to keep eyes open. 

Sweet dreams. Xxx


----------



## Big hat

Bless, Hanna, he looks like a big, cuddly bear of a man - lucky you didn't get Julie Frieling - she is so admin - you'd have got no joy there only another form to fill in! 

Rachel - sorry, missed you off my response yesterday  Head teachers do sometimes find it difficult to differentiate between children and adults  - it's the god complex! Stick to your guns and get what's right for Ethan and you. 

Hey Lynn - that's fab news that you're starting your next cycle. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and we'll all be here rooting for you  .

Maisie - sweetie, at least the week is ending in the right direction - good news about mini maisie. At least you have some answers, that are far less scary than you may have feared, and her illness seems to have done your heart a bit of good (I hope that is sounding how it is meant - in a positive and warm way), in that, the numbness you felt after your bfn is starting to heal . If you are planning your next cycle that's excellent news for you, and the renewed hope etc will help inform the house you are looking for (a family house?).

it's a lovely sunny morning here, but no snow - bah! However, el poocho will get a long walk and I am going shopping for a new ipod - yipee!

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

thank you curly - i really apprieciate your wise words.  

maisie - so glad maisie is doing better, and you are now making plans for the next cycle.

hi to all the lovely buds.  hope you are all ok today.

afm not feeling so bright but hopefully with be more up beat soon.

love and light.

Rachel x


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds - who has woken up to snow today? It looks so pretty.... shame that however pretty and fun is it it also likely to cause huge disruption everywhere.

Maisie - hope you are ok, so everything seems so stressful at the moment, is there anything you can do with the work side to relieve the pressure a little. Poor Maisie cat - I hope the vet can find out what is bothering her. Good luck with the house hunting, I think in general its abit quiet this time of year, I'm sure a lot more will go on at the estate agents coming up to spring. A lot of people spend winter time doing jobs and building up to putting house on the market. Just make sure you have a clear list of must haves and location and a list of would be nice's that can be an added bonus if you they have them.

Honor - thanks, sniffing is ok I think although I am having breakthrough bleeding which I haven't had before- only happened today and of course sods law I cant ring anyone today so am going to worry now until tomorrow. Scan is on 13th Feb. How are you feeling??

Mrs Ixy - yes agree re acupuncture - expensive but am willing to give it a go and see if it makes a difference. Congratulations on being pupo! Good luck for otd, try and stay positive. I know it must be hard with your miscarriage last time but try and put it to the back of your mind and the fact that you 
had implantation and a bfp last time is a good sign that it can happen again - got everything crossed for you.

Rachel - glad you are having some good healing sessions, it sounds like they do wonders. Im sure things with ethan will get better, hang in there.

Squirrel - if you are lurking - congratulations on being pupo, im so glad your donor worked out. Hope you are home now to relax with your dh and colin.

Pooky - made me laugh with your hair age being about 90! Why do we all do it to ourselves hey! I gave up a few years ago with highlighting as I don't have the time to sit in the hairdressers for hours every 12 weeks. I think my hair quality has improved although damn the straighteners for split ends!!
How are the pookettes?

Zoe - wow congratulations on your new daughter Scarlett. That's amazing news, the first bud!. Your post has suddenly made everything so real. Just thinking about all of us buds and our first posts on here nearly a year ago on the buds thread. I really hope she continues to get better so you can take her home soon. I hope you are doing ok too, must be hard for you to leave her at scbu everyday - how are you feeling now after the pre eclampsia? lots of love to you xxx

Karen -wow the horse tranq jab sounds immense - I think I would prefer that to having to sniff everyday.

Curly - sounds like your body is putting up a fight, maybe ease yourself back gently. Im sure the jobs will sort themselves out soon and it will be fate whichever one you get, enjoy your spare time for the time being.

Lynn - good luck with your tx!

Hi to all the other buds xxx

AFM - had another acupuncture sesh- all ok there except being £40 lighter each time I walk out. I think my sniffing it going ok although I had some bleeding this morning which i read on the leaflet could be breakthrough bleed. Ive been sniffing now for 11 days so my AF would have been due a day or two ago. The bleeding is the sort I would have in the 24 hours prior to AF so I really hope it doesn't turn into anything else. Has anyone else had this whilst down regging? I didn't have this my first cycle at all. Its funny though I've felt really crampy since about day 14 - who knows what is going on inside me!?! I will give Guys a call tomorrow (if I can get through and if anyone is there what with the snow!) It's a shame there isn't a nurse there on the weekend to answer general queries as I don't think this warrants an emergency call?? Anyone got any advice? I haven't missed a dose so maybe my body needs a higher dose. Feeling crampy I hope I don't get AF.
I think we are going to go out in the snow in a bit and have a wander but not too far, also going to see some friends and I think a snowball fight will be in order - must find my saloppettes.
By the way if anyone needs some relaxation there is a radio station called chill which I listen to often, its a bit cafe del mar, Ibiza style chill out music. Its on the internet at www.helpmechill.com or you can get it through sky on radio channel 177. Am listening to it now.

Anyway hope you all have a good rest of the weekend
Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

/links


----------



## Pookychops

Hi hula girl - you should be getting a period about now. The down regging normally delays it a bit but it's perfectly normal to have your period. You'll then go in for your baseline scan to check that nothing is working and then start stimms. 

Congrats to Zoe on baby Scarlett!  Fabulous news  

Hello to everyone else. I hope you enjoy the snow. Dh is about to go for a run in some really little shorts


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## rachel1972

hi hulagirl like pooky says iy is normal .i was like you when it happened i thought this isnt right cos it didnt happen 1st time i down regged , you sound very cherpy worth 40. if it is acup. xx

afm snowed in with sick child had no calpole , dh away , manged to get a nieghbour to bring some hadnt ever spoken to her before, so kind , cant imagine what i would done.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all having a good weekend .

*rachel*: How are you today?
Thanks for your PM . Wasn't sure what you meant when you asked about DH being supportive ? He always has been... Perhaps you were referring to when we had that big argument the other week? That wasn't anything to do with ttc or babies - he simply overreacted at something stupid I did.
Hope things get sorted with Ethan and nursery, and that he feels better soon - thank God for kind neighbours .

*Curly*: Sorry you're not feeling great . 
Make the most of your free time before you get snapped up and are back in the whirlwind world of work before you know it!
Did you get your iPod, btw?

*maisie*: Hope you're having a relaxing weekend after your stress at work .
Great news that maisiemoo  seems a bit better. Hopefully the antibiotics will do the trick of clearing up whatever it is that's been bothering her and she'll be back to herself again soon .
How exciting that you're making plans for your new cycle. Although I know it's been a horrible time since your last cycle, I'm sure this break from tx will have done your body good. Have faith - you really never know what could be round the corner .

*Hanna*: Still smiling ?!

*lynn*:  on being back on the tx waggon! Good luck for your first injection Tuesday! As for *maisie*: have faith, lovely Bud .
I'll definitely let you know when I next plan to be up north!

*Hula*: I echo what the others have said so far - I think the breakthrough bleed is normal, but definitely call your clinic tomorrow to double-check for peace of mind. Don't you have a number for use at the weekend? I'm sure no one would mind you calling the emergency number if you're really worried - whoever's on call is going to be working regardless of whether or not you call and I'm sure would be happy to take a few minutes to put your mind at ease .
No snow here today, but we did have some that did stick yesterday - was very pretty but gone now...
And I'm doing ok, thanks .

*Pooky*: How are you doing? Did you go back to work on Friday? Hope the commute worked out ok...

*Kat* and *squirrel*: If you're reading: thinking of you both .

Love to everyone else ,

xxx


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## mrs_ixy

Hello lovely ladies,

Squirrel - so pleased to hear you are PUPO! Well done, girl. I guess that makes us cycle buddies again. I really hope it works for us both this time. When is your OTD?

Curly - thanks for reminding me about your friend - that's the sort of thing that gives you hope. How was your session at the salon? 

Honor - glad to hear that your GP is looking after you. Hope your blood test comes back OK. 

Zoe - WOW, congratulations! The first bud to give birth. I hope Scarlett is doing well, certainly sounds like she is.

Karen - gosh, you are brave. That injection sounds...dramatic! Glad you are cycling again: how do you feel about it? You'll be starting stimms on my OTD. Here we go again...

Rachel - good on you for sticking to your guns. 

Curly - sorry to hear you were under the weather. Hope you're feeling better now. It sounds like you are making the best of the situation re: jobs. You sound so positive! I know exactly what you mean about piles of books: I think I am a bit addicted to them. I have a huge stack of unreads! Did you get a new iPod? My husband put his through the washing machine last week and it is currently sitting in the airing cupboard in a bowl of rice to try to dry it out!

Maisie - I hope the antibiotics help Maisie cat to feel better soon. I am sure the right house will turn up. It sounds trite but I do think life has a way of working things like that out. When we looked for our current house, I had a very set idea of where we wanted to live, and rapidly got disheartened because it did not seem as though there was anything we could afford in the area that we liked. All the houses in our budget were a bit strange, or in dodgy roads. But then we found our little bungalow, which had belonged to an old lady who sadly died. And we knew immediately it was 'the one'!

Lynn - good luck to you for your next IUI cycle. Everything crossed for you!

Hula - as Pooky said, I think AF would be due for you about now - I'm not sure about other bleeding. I didn't get any last time around, and this time I didn't do d/r as we did short protocol. Hope you're OK, though. I did get a period before stimms last time around. It's normal...

AFM - trying not to overthink things too much. Had a nice day yesterday catching up with a friend who's over from New Zealand. She's pregnant but knows all about tx and we did't really talk about babies. Also got the chance to see a couple of other lovely girlfriends, one of whom lives in Durham, so that was nice. And then today, DH and I went for a walk in the snow, although I got wet feet cos my boots were not waterproof! Oops. 

xxxx


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## Hulagirl

Thanks Pooky, Rachel, Honor and Mrs Ixy - you have put my mind at rest, im just comparing cycles and i cant remember having AF between d/r and stims the first time round. I do have vague recollections now of them saying i might get AF. Phew!

Have had a nice day today - went for a walk (and a sledge!) in the woods which was great fun. Lovely to be out and about and it didnt feel half as cold as it looked. Hoping the trains are running tomorrow so i can get to work. Hope you all have a good week buds.
Off to do some ironing - i know how to live hey!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## 1972

Morning buds. 

I can't sleep as I'm panicking about getting to work... I have a rear wheel drive car and live on quiet no through road so have 6 inches of now frozen solid snow on it.. Hate it !!!!!!

Had some nice fresh air yesterday as went for long walk in snow. Maisie cat is ok. Have to give her tablet twice a day at moment so thats a mare as she's hiding under bed and I literally have to drag her out to give it to her   she hates me  

X


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

How many of you got snowed out of work today then?! - *maisie*, did you make it out of your road, and *Hula* were the trains running?

*mrs_ixy*: Hope your feet have dried off! Sounds like you're coping well with your 2ww . Sending you some sticky vibes!

*Hula*: How are you today ? Did you call the emergency number yesterday or the clinic today in the end? If so, what did they say?

*maisie*: So glad to hear maisiemoo  is getting there . I don't envy you having to coax her out from under the bed to get a tablet down her! We were at the vets this morning with Ned - for his 2nd vaccination. For some reason, he seems to quite like the cat carrier! Not that I'm complaining after the battle we always had with Neo!

*AFM*: No snow here at all. The little we had and that did stick on Saturday was all gone yesterday already. Odd to think that not too far away people are in inches of it.
Slow work AGAIN... which is dangerous on two counts: less money and more time to think, a "winning" combination .

 to everyone, especially those in need...

xxx


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## rachel1972

hi honor hope work pics up for you soon.

Maisie hope you did get out of going into work today.

hi to all the buds, staying warm i hope.

xx


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## Carey

Afternoon my lovely buds....

Last time i posted it was a cold but sunny day & now we have snow..... too much if you ask me  

So how are you lovelys on their 2wk waits I hope you are all going OK. sending you       xx

Congrats to Zoe   Hope you are both well xx

So we have some buds just starting on the mad rollercoaster ride again, good luck girlies and others that are part way through.   to you all xxx

A big hello to everybody else  

AFM - spent two hours up hospital last night, baby hadn't moved yesterday so was told to go to the delivery suit   to be monitored. I have high fluid & was told after that this could be the reason for not feeling much so was sent home all OK.
It did however wake my DH up to the fact, this is really going to happen & it will be sooner rather than later now as they said i wont go to 40wks, baby will be with us by 39!!! 
Baby is making up for the lack of movements yesterday & has been happily been kicking away today.
I'm abit sleepy today as didn't get home for the hospital until after midnight, early night for me tonight i think  

Sending you all so many   &  

xx


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## rachel1972

carey glad to hear it was all ok with baby.


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## 1972

Hi buds

Dh took me to work in his car as he was off.. Main roads clear now but our road still bad and going to freeze tonight - dreading trying to get out tomorrow ! I drive thousands of miles a year for ork but as soon as it snows, panic !!!!!!

Carey - pleased to hear all ok. Not long now !  

Rachel - how's your son now, better ? Hope he's enjoying the snow ? Xx

Honor - hope work picks up. Don't they know you have a baby to pay for now ! What's latest re dh moving away for work ? Mais has been shut out spare room now to improve catching chances !!

Everyone - I've sent an email to hose I had. Saturday 3rd march for London lunch meet up. Please confirm if you can make it. If I've missed you, let me know xxxxxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*rachel*: How are you ? Work did pick up, thanks. It's not great at the moment, but so far not too bad for January/February time... 

*Carey*: Hope you've recovered from your ordeal and are still feeling baby kick . It really isn't long to go now ! Are you all prepared?

*maisie*: How's maisiemoo  today?
Boo to DH's help getting you to work ! How did it go getting out of your road this morning?
Thanks for the e-mail re. Cheesecake Fest. I wish I could come, as I'd love to see you all again/meet some of you for the first time, but I'd just rather not travel too far at that stage, if all is still ok by then . What you should do is make sure you're going somewhere with WiFi access and get some of the Buds who are going to take laptops/iPads so those who can't go but are otherwise free to take part can do so via Skype !
As for DH's job situation: no concrete job offers on the table as yet. He's getting phone interviews (all in Germany) though and has had an invite to a face-to-face interview in Germany next week, but is unsure if he may have a phone one first (when they find out he's "currently" in England). Am all up and down about it still and really need to retrain my mind to think positively about it (below is more for me than anyone else !)
- He needs a job
- There are good ones coming up there
- We would somehow sort logistics for moving (other people manage )
- It would secure our baby's future without me having to necessarily work up to the end or go back to work soon after
- I'd be able to afford to come over to the UK much more often than last time (including for Cheesecake Fests )
- It wouldn't have to be forever
- I might surprise myself and actually really settle there 

*Dee*: How did your appointment go yesterday?

*Bell*:  3 days to go !!! Sending you lots of ,  and  for a smooth birth, and looking forward to hearing your new baby news!

*Kat*: If you're reading: where are you snowboarding? Think I might have missed the details... Sounds like you're having a nice time . Lookng forward to welcoming you back to the thread when you're good and ready .

*AFM*: So work has improved and so I guess I'd better love you and leave you and get on with it now!

 for all!

xxx


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## Gladys07

Hello ladies

Maisie - Hope you are getting excited and prepped for b day xx

Hanna - how is the move going?

Curyone - did you get your new ipod?

Kat - I hope you are enjoying soem fab apres ski 

Bell- can't believe you are almost there!

Mrs Ixy - Hello xx

Hula girl - hello xx hope sniffing is still ok.

Karen  - how are you getting on?  Is it me or is Julianne Moore everywhere at mo?

Rachel - Hope you are having a better week xx

Carey - Glad all is okay with baby xx isn't time flying by?

Hello all buds and sorry if I have missed you xx

AFM - Baby's room finally had carpet laid on Saturday and this week should be last week of workmen!!!!!!!!!!yay.  Off to have a massage and facial this afternoon with my birthday vouchers.  Had my appt yesterday and am booked in for a provisional c section on 23rd Feb, if he turns they I will be induced instead.  I am going in on Monday for an ECV which is where they will attempt to manually turn him...eekk!!  Everything is a bot frantic at mo so please forgive me for been a bad FF.xxx


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## lynn1303

OMG the babies just keep coming, not long to go for many buds now

bell i think ur first then dee - whos next? Carey r u due in march? we should have a wee list of all the due dates of the baby buds.

honor - i think that is a wonderful idea about skype - i'd love to meet the girlies unfortunately finances aren't allowing me this time.  Also i'm stimming at the minute so don't know when iui or fx 2ww will be.

life is so difficult to plan when going through treatment or evening waiting on tx to begin.

hows wee maisie cat getting on? r u coping ok with the roads? i keep waiting on the snow hitting scotland.

rachel whats the next action plan re; nursery arrangements.  i think its awful they have treated you this way

hanna - when is move day for u? r all plans coming along nicely?

hi karen, curly, kat, mrs ixy, hula extra big hello for squirel

afm 

i'm just exhausted, the drugs always take it out of me.  i get my first scan next monday and i start my niteshift monday night.  I always seem to be going through a tx when its my turn on nights talk about making it easy for myself!!! depending how i'm feeling when i go off for iui i may just take a extra few days i'm gonna have disciplinary action anyway i'm as well making sure i feel 100%

big hugs to all buds


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## rachel1972

Lynn massive hug sounds like you have alot of pressure.  

Maisie glad cat is getting better.

hi to everyone 

just a quick one as always going to have to control my monkey who now has conjuctivitus. yuck


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## Honor77

Afternoon *Buds* ,

*Dee*: Exciting news on your c-section date ! I don't envy your appointment Monday  - hope it goes well!
Hope the workmen finish off quickly to leave you to have some peace and quiet before your new arrival .

*lynn*: . Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit run down, hopefully all in a very good cause .
Hope everything works out ok with your nightshifts and desired time off .
Great idea to add a list of baby Bud due dates! We could add actual birth dates and names too .

*rachel*: Poor Ethan does seem to be having a bad time of it of late. Hope his conjunctivitis doesn't give him too much bother and clears up soon. Sounds like you're in need of another healing session  - any planned?

*AFM*: Well, Buds, I'm about to tempt fate and add a ticker . A big part of me doesn't want to yet for fear of everything going wrong (believe me, I'm having plenty of panic attacks over it), but earlier I decided to go for it, to BELIEVE  ()! I really hope I won't regret this (am pretty sure I m/c just a day or two after adding one last time )...

xxx


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## bell26

Honor, loving the ticker  how are you feeling ? 

Hi to all you gorgeous buds, as you say, 3 more sleeps... I am excited and scared at the same time ! Will let you all know when she is here ! After all these years and tx it still doesn't seem real to be honest !

Bell xx


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## rachel1972

hi honor  

i was going to go for a  meditation group on thursday but ethan wont being going to childminder now, have got a course on sunday which im hoping with be good , over in windsor so no more snow, thanks!

nice ticker xx


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## Gladys07

Honor  - I did add you to my post but can't see you on there.  Love the ticker xxx


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## Honor77

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Love Ned


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## lynn1303

Very nice to hear from u ned. Hope u didn't hurt mums computer pawing ur MSG!!! 

Big hugs. 
Xx


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## 1972

Hi ladies

D!!! Hope you are ok. Can't you hold out another day as little man will be due on my birthday   I'm really pleased for all you mums to be, but just shows how time flies and if we had all been lucky we'd all be due now   I remember thinking I wouldn't make 40th b'day plans as I'd be due.. Still, at least now I can have a drink and celebrate in style  

Lynn - sending you  

Ned- Maisie says hello  

Honor - ticker is a good step. Think positive    

Hi and   to all other buds. I'm sorry I'm a little quieter than normal. My head is full of too much info and questions etc. I need to go and have my reflexology and see hypno lady but just dont get chance.. I'm working 8.30-7pm most days at moment with no breaks and I'm exhausted when I get home. Just want to eat and flop. Can't seem to fit them in... Mais back to vets tomorrow for more tests.

Have a good day xxxxxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Bell*: Just 2 sleeps to go now !! bet you can't wait to meet your daughter .

*rachel*: It's great you're finding ways to help you relax and destress . Is it a mediation course you're going to on Sunday?

*maisie*: It is kind of odd reading posts now of Bud births and imminent births... Hopefully they can though also give some sort of inspiration and motivation to others - it DOES and CAN happen .
How are the party plans coming along? What do you have planned? Are any Buds going to be there?
Sounds like you're having a stressful time with work . Is it soon you have a week off? Any plans for that? Hope it's giving you something to look forward to to get you through the long days .
Hope maisiemoo  gets on well tomorrow at the vets. Ned  says hello back .

*AFM*: Ned  _adores_ computers! He will happily sit half on the arm of the sofa, half hanging across to DH's laptop, resting his paws on it and just watch for hours ! I let him in my office yesterday afternoon and he was all purry and happy at being allowed in and near the computer! So I thought he might like to say "hi" .
In potentially exciting news: DH has had 3 invites to face-to-face interviews in Germany over the last 2 days! He's got a phone interview this morning and will then sort out what to do about the 3 face-to-face ones this afternoon. He's thinking of going over for a few weeks and staying with his brother so he can go to all 3 and any more that come up. 
So, it looks like things are really moving forward on the job front, which is great , I'm just a little concerned at being here on my own for so long when I'm useless at being on my own at the best of times, let alone when I'm pregnant and worrying about things going wrong... . Anyhow, once he has sorted out what he's doing, I'll have to do my best to fill up my diary with things to do to make the time he's away pass quickly.

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## bell26

Honor,

Just think if you do move to Germany (I'm in Berlin) the anti natal care you get here is amazing, I have had about 12 scans as I have freaked out throughout this whole pregnancy ! Have you looked into getting a pet passport for Ned ? My doggies have one each 

Can't believe my baby will be here in two days, it's still totally unreal to me !

Bell xx


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## lynn1303

Bell the next 2 days will either fly in or take lOnger to go in than the 2ww. I'm so excited for u. Can't wait to see pics. 

Now here's a question for all buds. If ur hospital was filming one born every minute would u let them feature urs? I would. I think it would be lovely to show my child in years to come but dh dead against it!! To the point I had to remind him it wasn't real just a hypothetical question.


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## Honor77

*Bell*: Well, I won't be wanting to go anywhere until after the 12-week scan, but if things progress like they look like they might, I'll definitely be in touch for info on antenatal care!
I briefly looked into pet passports a while back. I believe as of Jan., all they need to move between EU countries is a rabies injection (at least 21 days before travelling) and a passport... Is that right? Is it easy enough to get pet passports and transport them?
Am also looking forward to some photos !

*Lynn*: No, I wouldn't let them feature our baby's birth ! I hate anyone seeing photos of me, let alone the nation watching me in agony! Also, personally, after feeling like ttc had turned into a medical circus as it was, I would want the birth to be a private affair. You could always just film it yourself though, and your child will then still be able to watch it when they were older.

xxx


----------



## bell26

Thanks Lynn  will let you all know when she here ! erm, the one born every minute thing... I don't think I would let them film it, haven't really got a reason why I just don't think I would... Xx

Honor, getting a pp is no problem, especially when travelling from the UK as there are no rabies problems there. When travelling from Germany where they still have rabies (although rare) fur babies have to have a blood test to check they don't have it, then the injection, then they can travel six months later. I think the rules changed in January thou, not too sure. Worth giving your vet a call to find out the latest, as I said it's alot more simple when coming from the UK rather than to the UK.
Are you experiencing any symptoms honor ? Morning sickness ? So excited for you  

Xx


----------



## Pookychops

Lynn - most definately not. I think its a private thing and would be horrified if dh even suggested getting a video camera out.

i've started telling people at work today only to discover one girl has recently had a miscarrige - in the last week or so. luckily she's not in today. do i let her hear by word of mouth or go to lunch and tell her? i know her a bit but not a huge amount. i chat to her most days.


----------



## Honor77

Oh dear, *Pooky*... Not sure what to suggest really... I think if it was me, I'd rather you told me in person than hear it from elsewhere, more so because it might make it seem awkward for both of us to chat "normally". Not sure if lunch might be a bit much though if you don't know her all that well... Could you do a coffee break instead, either in a quiet corner or out?

How did it feel to tell people otherwise?! Hope it felt good .

xxx


----------



## bell26

Pooky,

Hmmm thats an awkward one, having walked in those shoes however she finds out she will probably be upset but may feel put on the spot if you corner her....
I know it sounds impersonal but how about an email ? At least she doesn't have to feel pressured in her face to face response if you know what I mean...

Bell xx


----------



## Pookychops

it did - still absolutely pertrified about it all though. the more people I tell though the better i feel about it. Odd really.

I had a quick peek at them yesterday at my ante natal appointment - they were practising kung fu by the looks of it! Hospital also screwed up my appointment and sent me to the wrong clinic. they got it all sorted in the end though and i will have appointments coming out of my ears come april!

the other thing is that i'm probably not supposed to know what has happened but when someone asked her if she was ok on monday she just burst into tears on them. so they warned me to be careful with what i said.


----------



## lynn1303

Mmmm seems I'm in the minority then. I must be an exhibitionist at heart. Lol. 

Pooky. I'd talk to her face to face. One of my colleagues didn't want to tell me his wife was pg but it came up coz one of my other colleagues let slip in front of him. 5 mins later the nightshift theatre staff came in and patted him on the back congratulating him. I said congratulations of course and he shouldn't have worried about telling me. We r a wee family and it would have hurt if I found out from out with my work family. 

Good luck.  Xx


----------



## Pookychops

Hello,

Squirrel update for you - she loves you all and sends you all lots of love. She's off to Rome for the weekend and she's not enjoying the 2ww.

That's all for now.

Hope you are all ok

love and hugs pooky xxx


----------



## Carey

Good afternoon to you all  

Thank you so much for your well wishes. Baby seems to be doing planty of moving around now  

Lynn - Good luck with your scan on Monday xx

Dee - Time is most def flying by.... I hope your ECV goes ok on Monday. Ive got to see my consultant on Tue to see if i need to have ECV done too & if they are going to induce me at 30wks!! Baby just wont stay head down loves laying across my tummy. Also got high fluid so can cause big problems if head is not engaged when my waters break xxx

Pooky - How are you? Did you chat to your work friend? xx

Honor - Im getting prepared for the new arrival.... this weekend DH should have all the little jobs done as he has no football game to play. Glad your work is going better for you. Im loving your Ticker..... I never did put one on here but always love looking at others xx

Maisie - How did the vets go? xx

Rachel - Hope little one is ok & his conjuctivitus is cleaing up xx

Bell26 - Is it tomorrow you are booked in?? Sending you lots of   & good luck xxx

AFM - Im busy at work at the mo, training my replacement up. All is going very well & i sure im leaving it all in safe hands  
6.5 days left  

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Oh carey - I hope the baby gets to stay in you as long as possible and that your fluid levels subside - is that possible? I'm sure you'll be in the best hands though and that they will look after you there.

I'm impressed that you have someone to train  up at work to cover your job. I don't get that luxury - its so unorganised they will work out who is doing the work after i go and I know that all the tid bits of info won't get passed along and i'll come back after a year to carnage!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well .

*Pooky*: Thanks for the *squirrel* update! Very jealous of her trip to Rome, but she deserves it and it'll hopefully help take her mind off things.
I had my telephone appointment with the GP this morning for my thyroid blood test results - still 1.5, so that's great news . She's written off to endo/antenatal so we have to wait and see what they say, but in the meantime, I've booked another blood test for 8 March to check it's still ok.

*Carey*: Sounds like you have everything under control! If they do decide to induce you at 30 weeks, when will that be, soon, I'm guessing ?

*Bell*: ONE MORE SLEEP TO GO ! Exciting!! !

*Maisie*: Any news on maisiemoo ?

*AFM*: Well, DH has now confirmed 3 interviews for next week: 2 on 14th and 1 on 17th. He's booked to go but will book his return trip once he's there and seen if he gets any more interview invites next week, just in case. I know it makes sense, but I want him home ASAP ! It means he'll be away for his 40th, which is a shame, but I think with everything going on right now, he's not all that bothered about his birthday, and at least he'll get to spend it with his brother, so that'll be nice for him. We can celebrate when he gets back, and hopefully also be able to celebrate good job news!

 to everyone I've missed...

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

As much as I love one born.. No way would I go on it !! Good news honor re dh job opportunities. You sound less worried about them than you I'd so thats good news  

Hope all our pregnant ladies are doing ok.

Mini Maisies been back to vets tonight. Hasn't put on any weight, but not lost anymore which is something. More tests, extracted urine straight from her bladder, bless her. Await latest bloods and wee results then next stage possible heart ultrasound .. She's lying on back of sofa whacking me with tail purring, so seems content enough..

Catch up soon.

Ps - have been thinking re meet up , here's only a few that can meet so might suggest postponing and set something up for summer maybe ??


----------



## Carey

I'm such a twit ladies... I'm well past 30wks, I meant to put maybe induced at 39wks!!! Only being 4wks away 

Xxc


----------



## Pookychops

Would that be a spot of baby brain going on there Carey? 

Maisie - I hope Maisie cat gets better soon. If she's not eating the vets do have some science plan food that encourages cats to eat when they are off food. We used it for Charlie when he was really ill to try and boost his energy. It was in a tin the size of a can of tuna. Not sure what called though.

I don't have a problem with pushing back on the lunch. I won't be able to do July but should be ok up to mid June.


----------



## Honor77

A sad evening this evening, Buds: my parents called to tell me that the Felix cat was put to sleep this evening He had been ill for a while and was 17, so had had a good, long, happy life, but it's atill sad to have lost my baby kitty - we got him as a tiny kitten and it was me who brought him home.

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor   poor felix. It sounds like he had a good life and 17 is a good age for a cat.  He's at the rainbow bridge playing with neo now.


----------



## lynn1303

Oh no honor. I'm sorry hunni. Is ur mum ok? He's was such a friendly wee cat. 

I'm glad Maisie cat isn't any worse I just hope u get to the bottom of it soon. 

Oh Carey. Wot u like!! Baby brain. 

X


----------



## bell26

Honor  so sorry about Felix  fur babies bring so much joy and love but ultimately break out hearts when they leave us  big cuddles xxxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Good luck today bell. Woo hoo. Xx


----------



## Honor77

Thanks for your kind words, *Buds* . He'll be sorely missed .

New crisis this morning, however: noticed some swelling right groin, so am going to the doctors in an hour. REALLY worried .

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hey ladies,

it's quite exciting on here....

Bell - good luck!! - first one up and all that  

Carey - hope your one get's into position and stops messin' about  

Gladys - oo, so you're definitely up for a c-section - as my mum would say ' I can feel the back of my knees going' - good luck lovely.

Honor - loving the ticker (yey!!).  So sorry about Felix cat  , but good news about DH's job prospects (yey!).  Oo, Honor, good look at the Drs.

Pooky - poor you - I think I would tell her face-to-face, that way you can explain that you had only just found out about her mc, so she doesn't think everyone knows  . Thank you for the Squirrel update.

Squirrel - sorry about 2ww but we are all rooting for you, and Rome is so beautiful I'm sure it will make the time fly by   . xx

Rachel - enjoy your meditation on Sunday - it would be fab it they threw in a massage or two wouldn't it?  

Lynn- hope all ok with you. As for 1 born every minute - yeah, I'd do it, for the old mums out there, but I'd never watch it  

Maisie - hey honey, how are you? Thank you for trying to pull together the meet up, what with everything else you have going on.  I think it might be good to put our meet up off till it's warmer - and Pooky's suggestion of June sounds good.  It means we may get to meet some of our baby buds! (How much cooing would there be from that back room at Pizza Express - we'd sound like pigeons!!!  )

Afm - have had to send my Ipod off for replacement, and it could take 10 weeks! That means a lot of tuneless singing from me for the duration, and maybe lots of Radio 4 for when my voice needs a rest.  Af hasn't arrived - I messed up my hrt over new year, when I ran out, and it always means a cuffuff the next month but, coupled with the after effects of the abx's I am currently this bloated, dodgy tummied, headachy and no party animal thing.  I need to get back to some zen state, my body being a temple an' all  .  On the upside, I still can't drink, and DH isn't either(which can only be good for his  ), and he's taking his man vitamins  .  Have we turned a corner?  Now all we need is for me to get a job and Serum here we come!

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## lynn1303

Yay curly. I think u and I r the 2 who would do it. 

I hope ur body gets back to its zen like state soon. Good ur dh is taking his vits. It'll be interesting to see if it makes a difference to his wee dudes. 

Honor. Fx all goes well at docs. Let us know as soon as u can. Could it be a small inguinal hernia?


----------



## Pookychops

Quick one from me. I had email chat with her today and she didn't run off in tears. She said age decided to take some time off and thinks she may have issues with her glands. So who knows. She asked me if I was ok and I just said that I was pregnant and had had a very scary time of it lately. She advised me to rest. 

God I'm bored today and need to interact with people. Not sit at my desk and edit. Rol on 5.30 and curses to the trains which made me late this morning!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

Just got back from the doctors. She was lovely and didn't mind at all that I was probably being paranoid! She looked and felt swollen area and said while it is a bit swollen, she wouldn't have noticed it if I'd gone about something else and it's nothing to worry about - certainly doesn't feel like an ectopic (this is my constant fear, that and no heartbeat ) and could be just one of those things or what *Lynn* said, but that would also be nothing to worry about. She said to go back if the swelling and/or pain got worse (at the moment just kind of tingling/dull ache). I'm glad I went as I needed reassurance it was ok so as not to worry so much. 
I think I might see if the nice salon round the corner from us does pregnancy massages and book one for while DH is away or near my birthday, as I definitely need to relax !

*Pooky*: Glad you managed to get the awkward chat with your colleague out of the way without any drama.
Hope 5:30 comes around quickly enough, and that your train home isn't late!

*lynn*: Thanks for your message . How are you doing?

*Curly*: Bad news on the iPod - is this the new one?! I think you need to get down to that Apple store and shout at them .
Keeping everything crossed for you for a sparkling new job very soon, and subsequent appointment fixing with Serum .

Love to everyone else - with a special  to *Bell*, *Kat*, *Karen* and our PUPO ladies *squirrel* and *mrs_ixy*!

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

I just heard your news Honor and wanted to send huge congratulations your way   


Sorry but I´m not up to reading any of the thread yet, in fact I´ve got a horrible wave of panic coming over me just from being here so I´m out of here again. I am thinking of you all though and wishing you all well ......... I´m just not up to pregnancy or even tx talk right now I´m afraid. I´d like to think I´ll be brave enough to come back one day soon though. In the meantime, you all know where I am on email.


Love to you all, 
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds 

Welcome back Kat   completely understand sweetie xxxx

Curly - sorry you are feeling poop.. Hope youre more yourself soon. Xxx

Honor - sorry to hear  about your family cat and glad nothing to worry about at docs xxxx

Just a quick check in from me. Long hard week ,am shattered. Going to look at 2 houses tomorrow. Will catch up more tomorrow x


----------



## bell26

Hi girls,

I am pleased to announce the safe arrival of Giuliana @ 3:27pm this afternoon. She is amazing and perfect, totally in love and in compete awe of her.
After all the worry about her being a ten pounder she weighed in at 8lbs 4oz lol

My little girl really is proof that miracles do happen
Loads of love
Bell xx


----------



## Gladys07

Bell that is wonderful news, beautiful name. Love to you both
X


----------



## 1972

Congratulations bell. Xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations Bell!   so pleased for you

D - you're up next - how exciting


----------



## Big hat

Bell - fantastic news, and yes a beautiful name.  Hello Giuliana!!!!      

Maisie - good luck with the house search. x

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Carey

A very chilly morning to u all. -7 here at mo  

Bell - comgratulations on ur safe arrival   to u both xx

Honor - sorry to hear about felix    I hope ur pain in glands go sn hun xx

Curly - hope apple fix the problem & u get it back sn. what a pain. Xxx

Kat - xxxxxx

Pooky - glad u got time to have that chat.  Xxx

Love to all u other lovely buds
Have a good weekend 

AFM - I've calmed myself down a little now but was all in a tizz & upset lastnight.
DH came home from work to tell me he heas to work away in birmingham next week
Which is miles away from norwich! Its also a week I would loved him to be at home as got consultant appt tue to find out my results & to discuss delivering & turning baby. Not an appt I want to attend alone but only Want DH to come.... also looks like I'll be spending valentines day alone too. Also got a funeral to go to on thursay which I know is going to be tough as it will bring back lots of memories from my dads only 16months ago. And to top it all off DH hasn't been paid again this wk, his firm keep messing about & don't seem to ever pay anyone on time but expect him to go work away at the click of a finger... Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!! This is not a happy bud but I wont go on any more.... sorry for the rant xxxxxxxx


----------



## ma-me28

bell congrats hun beautiful name. x
kat  
carey   to you too feel free to text if you want to rant hun.x
big hugs to everyone else.x


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,
On phone, haven't got round to going on laptop today, so just quick hello to everyone but special hello, and welcome to the world to Bell's new daughter! Congratulations Bell and Mr Bell!
xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Congratulations bell. Welcome to the world baby girl bell. What a beautiful name. What does it mean? Xxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi Buds
Hope you have all had a good week, seems to have gone really slowly!

Maisie – I sympathise with you on the real wheel drive car – ours is that too and a nightmare in the snow, almost not worth bothering, hope you have managed to get round this week. Sorry I didn’t reply to your email about the meet up, I read the message and then forgot to reply. I will be quite close to EC or even ET that weekend (I hope) but as so few can make it we might be best to postpone to the spring? Sounds like you need some me time, is there anyway you can have a break from work so you can go to your appointments? Good luck looking at the houses – hope you find the one of your dreams v soon.

Honor – yes unfornately my trains have been running. No shirking from home  . No really, im glad they have been ok this week, its quite a pain when they aren’t. Shame your work is slow, hope it picks up for you.

Carey – glad all is ok, wow your baby will be here in no time, so exciting. Are you all sorted? How are you feeling now? Hope training up your replacement is going well. Bad timing with DH going away to Brum  - is there any way he can get out of it? I can completely understand that you need him around.

Honor – glad your work is better now. How are you doing? Do you have a scan coming up? DH job prospects sound great, I hope he gets the job he wants so you can get settled and not feel in limbo. Also it doesn’t have to be forever and you might really like it in Germany – your baby will be bilingual too. Loving your ticker and Hi Ned – love your message. My cats like the computer as well – they try and get on my lap and wedge themself between me and the laptop. I don’t mind too much when DH away, I would say im a bit rubbish in that I don’t go to bed when I should etc but I generally get on alright. I don’t think I would like it for too long though, DH is going to be away for a couple of weeks not too far away and that will be the longest time he’s been away yet. Oh no! just read about Felix – so sorry, thats really sad but sounds like hes had a lovely long life.17 years is a grand age esp for cats as they can do whatever they like and we have no control over where they go and what they get up to. Hope the swelling is ok.
Hopefully when DH is back you can have double celebrations for his birthday and and new job.

Dee – glad all the jobs are getting finished up and that the babys room is now finished and workmen free! How was your facial and massage? Have you thought of a name yet? Wow c section on 23rd – hope he turns, good luck for your appointment – hope its not uncomfortable for you.

Lynn –yep I know what you mean about life being so difficult to plan whilst having tx. This time is so different to last time for me. Last time I wasn’t working and this time im having acupuncture and I never know when she will want to see me again until I have been for an appointment so also got that fit in. Luckily they are open until about 8pm so its great that I can go after work. 
Answering your question about one born every minute – I think its a fab programme but i just don’t think I could do it, I hate myself on film anway let alone in front of millions of people!
Night shifts sound like the last thing you need whilst you are having tx. Hope you manage to have an easier time of it. Sorry to hear about the disciplinary, hope they show some understanding and that its all sorted soon.

Rachel  - oh no conjuctivitus isn’t nice, hope Ethan doesn’t mind having the drops and that hes over it soon. Hope you enjoy your course – what is it ? I was in Windsor a few weeks ago, its lovely.

Pooky – so pleased you are able to start teeling people now about the pookettes. Its a shame the timing is bad with your colleague. You have had a rough time getting to your goal of a bfp so don’t feel bad, im glad you got to speak to her face to face. 

Squirrel – hope you are having a lovely time in Rome – may the 2ww speed past and that you get your bfp at the end of it. Everything crossed for you.

Curly – oh no on the ipod! I would really miss mine,hope it back sooner than 10 weeks.

Kat –if your reading hello!

Bell – huge congratulations on the birth of Guiliana, thats wonderful news really pleased for you. Hope you are doing ok and look forward to hearing more from you soon. Lovely name too.

AFM – another week of sniffing has gone by and all being well I have a scan on Monday so hopefully I will start stims then. Had another acupuncture sesh today which was fine, always tend to feel it a bit more on my right hand side –need to up the sessions to twice a week for stims so just hope it is doing me some good. I really hope that dates wise I do similar or quicker to my last cycle as having looked at the dates if I need the end of the week off work for egg collection it will be really tricky with time off work. I know I shouldn’t care as I need to focus and put myself first but my team is v small and there are some people booked off already – I really don’t want to have to tell anyone at work because there is no such thing as telling anyone anything in confidence where I am. Find it so frustrating during tx that its so hard to plan things and that there are so many things out of my control.  Sometimes just wish I could hideaway for a month and not be noticed. I know I should feel lucky that I have this chance but just find it difficult to juggle everything.

Love to all, hope everyone is ok, hi to all the other buds
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds ..

I think I've found a house!!!! Dh working so I've got to arrange another but it's perfect. Would just need a new kitchen in time and decorating. It's in my home town so means we don't have to move away from family , friends ive got left   and we know it. Compromise is only 2 beds.. But scope for extension...

Off tobeestfield today to get my pressie from dh and my party outfit.   just 12 days til I'm 40


----------



## Hannushka

Bell- Huge congrats on the birth of baby Giuliana  
Honor- Hope the swelling has gone down and you are feeling better
Maisie- Well done for finding the house! Happy for you!
Hula- Best of luck for scan on monday!
Carey- A big   coming your way! Valentine's day is over rated anyway. In Finland is more about showing friends what they mean to you rather than spending it with partners. We call it a 'friendship day' so maybe you can meet up with a good friend instead? xx
Curly- have you opened your vocal cords yet?   Hope you get your ipod bk soon xx
Everyone- hugs!!! 
afm-Ohhhh, the happy positive time is gone....
Had my scan friday, all looked good, had 17mm follicle and some smaller ones, she said I'm ready to 'drop' and said I should be getting a smiley face saturday or sunday. Well... The stick ain't smiling!!!! What if it smiled on thursday? I only started peeing on the sticks on friday... I knew things were going too well. I'm gonna miss the whole peak now         
And not only that, woke up randomly at 3am to here my idol is gone. Her and MJ, my true inspirations,true talents. Very odd as from last week I suddenly started listening her old music again and posted few of her videos on **...latest only yesterday. Not a good day for me.
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Nordickat

I just heard a rumour that some of the baby buds have started to arrive. Welcome to the world to all those that are here and wishing a safe arrival for those en route.
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Hanna - is this for trying naturally or your frozen cycle? Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - just read your post. If it all looked good at your scan on Friday then there is no way you will have ov´d and got your smiley face on Thursday. Keep testing, it will happen. Saturday/Sunday was just a guess and they don´t know for sure. It could easily be tomorrow or Tuesday. My body is like clockwork but the one time I was doing FET and waiting for the right date I was late by a few days and I´m sure it was my worry that delayed it.
Good luck   
I´m bouncing off the walls again so hope that makes sense, 
Katxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hana 
kat is right i had fet and i couldnt even see a smiley face try doing it at a different time.  I wouldnt worry too much they will scan you tomorrow to see.

RIP Whitney very sad news indeed.

Hi all the other buds.xx


----------



## Hannushka

thanks ladies...
maisie- For my natural FET xx
Rachel-Ive been weeing on sticks every time i go to loo 
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## rachel1972

maybe the pee is too diluted?  i know the clueblue werent any good for me i tried using the tesco cheap ones and got result on another month.  but if its looking good on the scan then dont worry about it.x


----------



## 1972

Good luck hanna. I think I must have missed that you were starting so soon, that's pressure that plus sorting out your move !!!  

Kat -   . Hope you are doing ok  xxxxx

Squirrel - thinking of you too   

Karen - hope you are doing ok. What stage are you at now   xxx

Hi to everyone else xxxxxxxx


----------



## Carey

Afternoon Buddies.

Its quiet on here today, i hope you are all ok?

Im on the count down.... this is my last week at work  

Ma-me - Thanks Hun, Hope everything is going ok for you? xxx

Hulagirl - We are all sorted i think, Nursery is all done   Im feeling better thanks.  DH left for Birmingham this morning, he was told if he didnt go then he would have to take a wk off unpaid as they didnt have any local work.....
Ive already told DH if its the case again next week then he will just have to take the week off unpaid as i dont like him being do far away when im so close to having little one. How has your scan gone today? I hope you find a way of having the time off without having to tell work about your TX, Its so hard isnt it xxx

Maisie - How exciting about the house   Did you get your pressie form DH & manage to find a party frock? xx

Hanna - Im decided to spend valentimes eve with my mum, so that will be nice. Ive given DH his card to take with him to open tomorrow, I was a little sad as when i gave it to him he told me he hadnt got me one which is unlike him as we always do cards. Big hugs to you hun, hope those sticks show BIG smiley faces soon xxx

Hello to all you other lovely buds xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I didn't get on here properly over the weekend, although I was checking for updates on my phone .

*Hula*: How did your scan go today? Bet you're getting sick of the sniffing already! Hope you're given the go-ahead to start stimming soon , and that everything falls into place with dates and work.
I won't be able to have a scan until I'm 12 weeks, so a while to go yet (btw: ignore my ticker, am going to try and amend it later, as am 
7 weeks today, not 7+3).
As DH is Moroccan, we'd want our children to be bilingual anyhow. I don't speak Moroccan but do speak French, which is his second language, so I would hope we can bring them up bilingual English/French. Perhaps they will also have to learn German, but neither of us are native speakers (and at the moment both quite rubbish at speaking it after so long not doing so).
Anyhow, that's jumping ahead of ourselves both with regards to moving to Germany and having a live baby .

*maisie*: Great news that you've found "the" house ! Have you managed to arrange another viewing so DH can see it and fall in love with it too?!
What pressie did you get from DH yesterday? And did you find your party dress?
If it's any consolation, my DH is 40 on Wednesday and has been feeling really low about turning 40 and being out of work, not having progressed as far as he'd have liked in his career by now .

*Hanna*: Any luck with smiley sticks yet? I don't have any experience with these, I'm afraid, but what some of the other girls said sounds sensible. Hope you get that smile soon .

*Carey*: Great news that the nursery is done and dusted - now all you need to add is baby !
I've also been abandoned for Valentine's Day. I had free tickets to go and see "Titanic" in 3D at the posh cinema in town too . I gave DH a card to take with him too (but didn't get one in return, but no surprises there !); however, his luggage was stolen and it was in his case .
Hope DH doesn't have to work away from home next week too.

*Kat*: SO good to see you back on here with a couple of tentative posts . Hope you'll be back with us properly soon.
Thanks for the congrats .

*Karen*: Any news? Whereabouts are you in your cycle now? Sorry, I have a terrible memory and poor concept of time and so I'm not sure if you've already been back to Prague... . Hope you're doing well and keeping everything crossed for you .

*squirrel* and *mrs_ixy*: Hope our PUPO buds are bearing up . Let us know if you need us...  it's good news for you soon.

*Lynn*: How are you? What stage are you at now? Sending you lots of !

Well, DH called this morning to let me know he'd arrived but also to tell me his case had been stolen - his and those of 3 other passengers . So, so annoying. I'm hoping he manages to find something smart enough to wear for his interview/s tomorrow and can pick up some toiletries, as although he's filled out a form for compensation, he's obviously not going to get his case back. Felt so sorry for him - what a bad start to his trip, and the last thing he needs after such a long coach journey . At least he's ok, and still has all his valuables, including his laptop.

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor that really sucks your poor dh.

Hello lovely buds hope everyone got through monday ok , how did scan go Hula.


afm im sick and in bed now thanks to dh getting home a little early , ive never had sickness whilst looking after E , it is scary a reality check for if i do concieve?


----------



## Hulagirl

hello!
Hope Monday has been ok for you all.
Maisie - did you find your outfit? great news about the house. 
Hanna - any sign of any smiley faces ?? what day is best for ET and when do they defrost your embies?Agree - v sad about Whitney, she had an amazing voice. I stayed at the Bev Hilton a few years ago.
Rachel - hope you get over your sickness bug soon, seems to be going around.
Honor - gosh thats rubbish abut DH luggage,sorry to hear that. Hopefully thats the last of the bad luck and he will breeze the interviews and get offered the the job he wants.
Carey - hope you have a lovely last week at work. Enjoy vally day with your mum.
Kat - hope you are ok. How was/is the snow boarding?

Had my scan today which was all fine. Has to be that when im in a total rush i had to wait half an hour for app and then they had a trainee who was learning on the job. By that point i thought oh well nothing i can do about any of that so may as well not stress - bless the trainee she was so gentle and anxious to get everything right - everyone has to start somewhere - i didnt mind at all.
Anyhow did the first injection with a new gonal f pen, its funny how much i had forgotten and my last tx wasnt that long ago. All fine except they have lowered my dose to 150 for the first 4 days so i may be stimming for longer - worrying as this sends ec further towards a holiday clash at work.....yikes. oh well i will just have to see how its going. 
Im going back for a blood test friday morning and the results decide whether my dose is upped or not.

Hope the pupo ladies are getting on ok. Have we some otd's this week??

Karen - how you getting on cycle buddy?

Anyway, hope you have a good week will try and get on this week and catch up with you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey ladies,
Hula- Glad scan was good, sometimes I feel sorry for the trainees. I had one when I started the tx initially. It was the trainee who asked us all important questions and my doc had a massive go at her for forgetting to ask me if  have been pregnant before  
Rachel- Hope you feel better soon, hun, and btw, my pee can never be too dilluted, I never drink enough, ever, I know it's bad but I just forget   xx
Honor- I just HATE thieves! I hope your dh got himself sorted for the interviews and all is good. 
Everyone- Hugs!!!!
afm-Big thanks for your support. Panic is now over. Though my first wee today didn't make the stick smile, THE SECOND ONE DID!!! I let out a tiny scream in the staff toilets and got a strange look from the cleaner as I came out    So, now my FET is provisionally booked for monday at 2pm, providing they survive the thaw   . Now I have some cyglogest-suppositoires left from my last cycle... Do you think I should use them?
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## lynn1303

Hanna was it today or nxt Monday ur fet? Good luck!! 

Honor I'm sorry about dh bag hope this means his trip can only get better. 

Hula hope ur cycle is going well. 

Hope u feel better soon Rachel. 

My day was a bust. I didn't get any sleep b4 my niteshift. Been up since 9am. Scan showed nothing do stimming for another 2 days. Get scanned on wed. First appointment they could give me was 12. After pleading and explaining I'm on nights all week she moved it to 3. As she doesn't think I'll be having iui this week. Suppose it's better than nothing!!!


----------



## 1972

Hi buds 

Happy valentines day    

Hanna - yay !!!!! That's great news. Not sure about cyclogest as isn't that more for when your pupo The others may have more advise but I personally wouldn't without checking  

Honor - that's proper rubbish re dh luggage! I get paranoid on holiday and stuff putting luggage on coaches in case of that. I hope he manages to get something. Wishing him good luck today   met minkey mast night, was nice to catch up x

Lynn - that's tough re no sleep, I don't know how you do it !

Rachel - hope you feel better soon x 

Hi to all the other buds    I did find a dress for party. In first shop went in and out of first 3 I tried.. Never happens , just got to get shoes now and I'm done. Mini mais is still skinny and quiet, was supposed to hear back from vets yesterday so hopefully then will call today .

X


----------



## lynn1303

Maisie can't wait to see a pic of u in ur outfit!! 

I hope u get a hold of the vets today. Poor wee Maisie cat. Big hugs. Xx


----------



## Big hat

hey, happy valentine's day buds!!!!!!

Maisie - hurrah on finding dress, potential new house, and mini maisie is feeling a bit better - looks like things are on the up lovely   .

Hanna - hurrah for you sweetie - I am so very pleased all is working out for you. x

Squirrel, Kat, Karen - am thinking about you lovelies.   

Carey - eek, nearly time.  How exciting!!

Honor - fx for DH interviews. xx

Rachel -   hope you're feeling better soon. x

Hula - fab news tx started again!

Lynn - bless.  Hopefully all this stuff with work and tx will be worth it   . x

Hi to all other buds  

DH decorated our bedroom at the weekend, so that it is now all sparkly clean and yummy.  However, he did find intimate massage oil down the back of the radiator, and the previous owner did have one wall covered in mirrored wardrobes  , AND she used to let the dog share the bedroom   .  Hope you all have a wonderful day with your OH's.

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

hi all 

hana is your frostie a blast? 

lynn glad you were able to get scan at a more convienient time.

hi curly hows things going on the job front?

hi to Karen and sqirrell hope to hear from you soon.

maisie sorry to hear your cat is still not well.  hope you have a fab 40th.

afm feel alot better but still no appitite. so feel very week should go and get bloods done for next tx this week but i would pass out at the moment. dh bought my chocolates for valentines , a nice thought i suppose even if i have told him not to bring sugar into the house,  as i am  overweight.  but Ethan made a start and i had a couple.

R xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*rachel*: Sorry to hear you're not feeling well . Hope you feel better soon and are able to go and get your bloods done later in the week. Enjoy your chocolates - it's definitely the thought that counts, and you deserve them!

*Hula*: Glad your scan went well . And  on your first jab! Hope dates all work out fine in the end.

*Hanna*: Great news on the smiley face ! How exciting to have a provisional FET date in the diary ! That's less than a week away! Here's hoping for some prefectly thawed out embies ! 
Sorry, no idea on the Cyclogest - best check with your clinic.

*lynn*: Poor you - you're really having a rubbishy time of it with work at the moment . Hope tomorrow's scan goes well and you can have more of an idea of when the IUI will be .

*maisie*: Hope it's good news from the vets today .
Fab that you have your party dress sorted!

*Curly*: How lovely to have a sparkly new bedroom ! What "interesting" finds though!

*AFM*: Off to the hairdressers in a bit to finally get my mop sorted... 
Spending Valentine's Day alone , but hope everyone who does have their OH with them today has a lovely day .

xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies,

Sorry I've not been on for a while. We had a crazy weekend consisting of 2 frozen pipes, a leaking toilet, leaking sink and a gas leak.


Honor - hope your DH's interview/s went okay. That is SO annoying about the stolen case. I just don't understand some people. I've had things stolen a couple of times too and just felt so angry. You just don't take what belongs to other people! I don't get it - are some people's brains wired differently? How could someone possibly think it's okay to do that? Grrr.

Rachel - hope you're feeling better. 

Hula - glad your scan was okay. I worry about treatment schedules and work too but I think you just have to take each day as it comes and submit to the uncertainty. You would go mad otherwise. I am trying to just accept that I cannot control things, and just make the est of it. How are you getting on? I had a new person for some of my appointments this cycle. I think it's right what you say, everyone has to startsomewhere. 

Hanna - I would use the cyclogest if it was still in date but that's just me!

Lynn - good luck for your scan today. 

Maisie - hope you got some news from the vet yesterday?

Curly - oh yuck! Finding the 'treasures' of the previous occupant!!!

AFM - well, it's a BFN for us. I started spotting at the weekend and then my period began properly yesterday so I didn't even need to use the test, really. I am disappointed, especially with almost everyone else in my circle of friends either new parents or pregnant, but I am not surprised and that has made it easier. I just did not feel as though it had worked this time. We are going to try again next month, although the financial implications will be huge. We have sort of said we will have four attempts and then give up. I am not yet sure how we'll fund it, though. My parents have kindly offered to help so I think we will be okay for cycle #3. Beyond that, not sure....

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

mrs ixy


----------



## Big hat

Oh, Mrs Ixy, you poor thing.  So sorry   . xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Mrs Ixy- Sorry to hear of your bfn    
Rachel- Yeah, mine are 5 day blasts. Hope you are feeling better x
Maisie- How is ickle Maisie- cat? Hope you had some good news. Can't wait to see your dress btw x
Honor- Hope your haircut was a success   Bless you for having to spend valentines on your own, but hey, you weren't COMPLETELY on your own  
Curly- Oh dear... what a finding! I do hope the dog was only an audience to those massage games  
Lynn- Best of luck for your scan wed   
afm- Ohhhh Mrs Ixy, you got me tempted again for using them cyglogests... Must google more lol
Spent day scraping off paint off skirtingboards. Tried to get boiler fixed but it is truly finished beyond repair, they said so must dig out a grand from somewhere as buyer not having the house without a working boiler  
Oh well, I let the boys sort that out... I'm soon to be pupo, must not stress  
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Pookychops

So sorry mrs ixy   can you do another cycle so quickly? Thinking of yo - have some quality time with dh this weekend.

Hulagirl - I hope all is going well with you this week. I had a trainee at guys too for scan, an older lady with bobbed brown hair - wonder if it was the same one?

Honor - I hope dh's interviews are going well and that he gets home safely.

Lynn - how did u get on today?

Hanna - glad things are going well with you

Curlyone - any news on a job yet?

Hello to everyone else. About to torture myself with one born every minute. I really don't think I should watch such things!


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening all

Hanna - your post made me laugh about letting out a little scream in the toilets at work - glad the smiley face has appeared and that you are on for next week. Bummer about the boiler,thats a shame.
Maisie - great news that you found a nice dress for your party, hope you find some nice shoes - hope you have a great birthday!
Mrs Ixy - so sorry to hear your news,   do you have any frosties to use? Sorry about your house issues too, this cold weather has a lot to answer for, frozen and burst pipes cause chaos.
Pooky - yes it was the same lady, she was nice.
Honor - how was the haircut - i need to go too ! Sorry your dh wasnt around for valentines day - its so overated anyway, i think its nicer to have a meal on a diff day, set menus and being crammed into places is just a total turn off.
Curly - oh dear on your bedroom discovery- did you meet the previous occupants? 
Rachel - glad to hear you are feeling a bit better, these bugs take a bit of getting over. you can send the chocolates my way, could just fancy something sweet right now although im really trying to be good as i have some pounds to shed.
Lynn  - did you have your scan today? 

Week feels like its going quite quickly for me, day 3 of stims already. I think i have managed to sort the holiday clash issue so i should be able to get that all booked in tomorrow for a week off which will cover some scans and EC. feeling a lot less stressed about it all now. Acupuncture tomorrow and blood test on friday morning.Then looking forward to a restful weekend. 
Has anyone had any discharge whilst doing stims? Had some watery brown today which i phoned clinic about and waiting for them to call me back. Hope its nothing to worry about?

right off to do some chores before sorting out some bits for tomorrow. Hi to everyone 
night all 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Hiya buds. Just a quick one from me at work and busy. I had scan today and I had one wee follie at 1.2. My lining is 7.2. I have 2 more jags of gonal f 75. Get another scan on Friday. An hour b4 I go to a different hospital at the other side of the city to get the results of tests for my ivf referral. 

On Friday I'll either take away trigger to take on Sunday for iui Monday or they will trigger me and aim for timed intercourse. Oh the fun. 

Big hugs all buds. Last nite tonite. Yay. Xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I didn't make it on properly yesterday to post - had a busy day with work.

*mrs_ixy*: So sorry to hear your news . You sound like you didn't expect much else, but it must still be hard... It's good you have a plan and are looking to try again soon, but make sure you give your body and mind enough time to recover and grieve .

*Hanna*: Not long to go! Do they thaw out frosties on the day, or earlier? Sending you  thawing vibes!
Good plan to leave the broken boiler to the boys !
I was pleased with my haircut, thanks . Always feel so much better for it!
And yes, I wasn't completely on my own on Valentine's Day , although right now I count the  as more of a definite presence than *anyone* () else...

*Pooky*: Hope you didn't get too freaked out by "One Born Every Minute". IF and pg issues aside, I could never watch it because I'm far too squeamish!

*Hula*: That's great that you've probably managed to avert an EC/holiday clash - have you booked in your holiday days now?
Sorry, but I don't know about the discharge during stimms... Perhaps another Bud can help you out ? Or better still, you hear back from the clinic.
 for your scan tomorrow and enjoy your restful weekend!

*lynn*: Wow - you've got a busy day coming up tomorrow. Hope you can have the trigger at your scan tomorrow . And hope those test results for your IVF referral are what you want/need them to be .

*rachel*: Thanks for your PM .
Just a week to go now until your consultation with Create! Hope you are able to get all your bloods done on time and that the consultation goes well .

 to anyone lurking - hope you're well, and come back soon!

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

MrsIxy -     I'm so so sorry


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - lots of luck to you   

Hula - lots of luck to you too   Snowboarding was fab thanks. They even have cream eggs and mini eggs in Canada so it was even better than expected.

Love to everyone else   - I only skim read so hope I didn't miss any big news.

Spent too much, ate too much and drank way too much on holiday   and now my dark grey world has gone just plain black  so it'll be a long while til I come back to read properly Honor. I'm still wishing you all well though.
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Hibuss

Just a quckie. Big   to mrs icy, sorry to hear your news xxxx  

I'm exhausted, work, house, party, friend issues, work, house, party blah blah... Too much on . Been for second viewing on house, arranging third for saturday with mate who is  a builder to get another opinion, then offer time we think  

Hugs to all. Big   to Kat, squirrel and Karen xxxxxxxx


----------



## bell26

So sorry Mrs Ixy, please don't lose hope hunni xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

It's rather quiet on here at the moment... Hope everyone's ok .

*Kat*: Hope the colour starts to come back to your world soon; thinking of you .

*maisie*: How cool that it very much looks like you're going to be putting in an offer on the house! Hope it all works out well for you !
How's maisiemoo  doing?

*bell*: I expect you're busy enjoying Guiliana ! Hope you're enjoying being a mum, am sure you're doing a fantastic job .

*lynn*: How was your scan this morning ?

*Hula*:  for your blood test today!

Apologies and hugs to anyone I've missed .

*AFM*: Feeling quite sad this morning, missing DH . I spoke to him first thing to wish him good luck for his interview this afternoon (interview #2) and got upset on the phone because he still doesn't know exactly when he'll be back . He thinks he'll leave there by next Friday, as he has a phone interview Wednesday and is still trying to arrange interview #3, plus has applied for a few more jobs and his brother is going to help him apply for some more this weekend, so he wants to hang on a bit. I know it makes sense, but it doesn't make it any easier not having him around. I know he was away for 2 weeks when he went to Morocco last year and I survived, but I'm feeling much more vunerable this time round, especially without having an exact return date for him. 
Am meeting at least 1 of the clinic girls tomorrow and then a friend (the one who was pg, and quite insensitive at times, while I was cycling and when I had the m/c ) on Monday, so at least a couple of good things to look forward to , plus I have a couple of appointments next week in the diary. Hopefully by then DH will know when he's coming home .

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor  , pop in for a cuppa it would be great to see you, why is it so differcult to be on your own, is cos you are still so worried about the baby?  or is cos you are in love with dh lucky you i wish i missed my dh!  Enjoy these quiet moments cos it will never be the same after child! trust me. lots of love xx

afm had bloods done yesterday , nurse siad i was lucky that gp was letting me get bloods done on nhs , had to breath and then said im really lucky my dh has c.f but at least i have saved a couple of hundred towards the tousands i need for tx. she said it will be worth it, and if it works it will..... people are so ignorant sometimes grrrrrrrrrrr.  really need to let loose but wont even get my sat morning break as dh has to fix the leak at the flat i let out.  

Hi to  everyone else hope its quiet cos you are all happy and off doing stuff.
Maisie have a fab time at your party x

Rachelxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Honor -   mini Maisie is finally diagnosed, she has hyperthyroidism so will be on drugs for life. But it's affecting her heart so she's got to have more tests   starts daily tablets today for rest of her life . Hope dh will be home really soon xxxx

Rachel - party's next Saturday . Eccck.


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies,

I am sorry I have been awol and not around to give support - I always think of you girls but just couldnt go on the computer.

Firstly - Mrs Ixy - I am so very sorry. This is so cruel. I am sending you hugs, strength and I just hope you can grieve, but then see that slightly annoying flicker of hope that keeps us all going. Thinking of you and I am so sorry that my news might hurt you. Loads of love xx

To all my lovely friends - I cant face going through all the pages I have missed! Just quickly - thawing vibes and hugs for Hanna, dh returning soon vibes for honor, birthday cuddles and cake for maisie plus free vet advice anytime, hugs for karen and kat, same to rachel and curly and pooky!! And all you other lovely girls!

Everyone - well.... Oh my goodness. Hideous five weeks as donor cyle went wrong and nearly didnt need to go to Spain because they had no idea if embryos would survive. I just didnt expect anything to go wrong with the donor. Ended up in hysterics, going to Spain on my own ( oh my word...) as dh stuck at work as transfer date pushed back and back... for just two embies that may not have made it to day three. Not great quality - transferred anyway. Spent tww convinced all gone wrong before they even got to me - so pressure off. Fell off my perch when hcg came back as 266 and two days later, now 950! Progesterone low but upping meds. Tiny bit of brown.red spotting so far. I am not counting chickens and I am just celebrating implantation - as was terrified .i couldnt even do that.....

Just love you all, and need you - hope thats ok even after my naughty trip away from Ff, love squirrel xxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

wow squirrell that is amazing news , congratulations.xx

Maise sorry little maise is so ill


----------



## Hannushka

Squirrel- How fab news honey!! I am doing a little implantation dance for you       Take it easy now xx
Honor- Hope you're not feeling too sad anymore. You need to ENJOY these moments when dh is away    I did!! (well, for the first 2 wks I did) and then the anger came in... remember?  
Kat- I hope the black turns at least to the lighter shade of gray soon for you. I think about you a lot and so wish we could have the happy smiley Kat back soon. But for now, black is ok. Take care honey xx 
Maisie- Wishing you a great party! Sorry to hear of Maisie-cat. At least the condition can be treated though. I have a feeling my dog may have had a similar condition. He was on every day medication for many years, a condition where his heart muscle expanded too much and was pressing his lung. He ended up having a long happy life with the meds, lived to 15 years xx
Rachel- Hope you are ok, some people really don't think before they speak...  
Lynn- Good luck... Can't be fun the timed intercourse lol. When we were doing it with ovulation sticks, it really made us not want to do anything at all  
Hula- How is stimms going? xx
afm- I haven't got much to report, I keep panicing that they are counting everything wrong and are doing the FET too late. my af due 28th and monday is 20th. I don't get it!
I woke up feeling sick, and my boobs are tender, hmmm, yes, the impossible thought came in my mind, could I possibly be...? We did have   2 days after lh surge... I know,naughty, but HIGHLY unlikely to cause any babies... but can't get the thought out of my head that what if both of my blasts end up sticking as well as a natural one   3 for 1 eh?  
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Big hat

Oh Squirrel, I have been thinking about you and wondering if we would hear anything    .  Hurrah!!!!! (for implantation), and so sorry you had such an ordeal. I am sure it will be all worth it    .

Hannah -    you could be shopping for the mega buggy in 9 mths time  .  So do you do FET on Monday then? FX sweetie.

Rachel - good on you for your response to the nurse - cheeky thing  .  

Maisie - your party will be wonderful because you are wonderful (and don't forget it).  Maybe looking after mini maisie is just practise for being a mummy   .

Honor - bless.  Just keep thinking that DH's efforts may get him the right job, and oh what fun you'll have stocking out the nursery with all the spondoolies he will make  !

Hula - hope the acupuncture and blood test went well.  yes, we did meet the previous owner - she seemed a very buttoned-down sort, but obviously not  , AND rumour has it that she had a gentleman caller in the form of a local councillor - Wehell!!!!  

Kat - hey there lovely, Canada does sound wonderful.  If I could find the magic wand to wave I honestly would wave it to take away  the dark in your world and give some light instead. Thinking of you sweetie pie.

Pooky - how goes it?  Glimmer of hope on the old job front yesterday, with a very fabulous consultant.  It means this weekend will be spent working on my supporting statement but, if I get this job the ink will no sooner be dry on the contract than I will be booking my flight to Serum!!!!

Mrs Ixy - how are things with you?

Lynn - how are the stimms going?

Hi Ma-me.

Bell - how is motherhood?

Carey, Gladys, Twinklie - any news ladies?

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel - that's fabulous news  

The only advice I can give is to take one day at a time and don't google anything! If you're anything like me you'll be knicker checking every five minutes and stressing about your first scan. Just try to relax and keep your mind busy with other things. Hard I know - perhaps we should all keep you busy with questions on pet health....

Not much to report at this end aside from double glazing is expensive - we're in the process of getting quotes to get the house sorted. Found some Turkish Cypriot guys from Southgate who will sort us out for 6.5k if we pay cash - that's 5k cheaper than our other cheapest quote. They said they will give us guarantee still and be fensa registered. They have their own factory and say we can go and have a look and at any work they have done - we're just petrified of getting ripped off. I know it's a cheaper way to do it. I asked my neighbours advicce and being a Greek Cypriot she wasn't that keen on us going with them.... Said it was better to go with a recommendation from someone. Being a grown up is so complicated at times!


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hi Buds,

First of all, thanks for your kind words. It really helps. You know what it's like when you feel that other people don't really understand even if they try to.

Pooky - well, the clinic said we could do another cycle again on my next period after the one I am currently having. We've got a review with the consultant on Wednesday, so I will check. But that's what I would like to do, provided it does not jeopardise our chances in any way. Hope you're OK anyway. I taped One Born Every Minute, but can't bear to watch it at the moment. 

Hulagirl - no, we have no frosties. We only had 3 embryos at the end, and only 2 were good enough to put back. The other had started to fragment and they said it was not good enough to freeze. How is your stimming getting along? I didn't have brown discharge whilst stimming but I did have lots of EWCM. Did the clinic call you back?

Lynn - how are you getting on? 

Oh Kat - I hope that the darkness goes away soon. I am thinking of you. xx

Maisie - how's Maisiecat? It's good you have a diagnosis. Hopefully the drugs will get her back to her normal self. I hope they're not too traumatic to give her.

Bell - thanks for your encouragement - actually reading your sig is a lot of encouragement. And congratulations too. I hope you are doing okay xxx

Honor - sorry to hear you're missing DH - at least you know he's out there for a good reason, although I am sure that doesn't make it any easier. He will be back soon, and just remember what he's there for. Do you have any news about his return yet?

Rachel - what an insensitive nurse! Some people do not think before they open their stupid mouths, do they?!

Squirrel - do not worry about your news upsetting me. I am happy for you and also you deserve it. I really hope it works out for you. Keep us posted - I will keep coming back to check on your news. 

Hanna - oooh, fingers crossed!

Curly - good luck doing your supporting statement this weekend. I hate doing that sort of thing but it is usually worth the time you spend on it. 

AFM - well, getting used to the disappointment, I suppose. I do not feel as devastated as last time, because when that happened it was like I had something that was ripped away - it felt so cruel. This time, I just never really had it at all. I do find it difficult to cope with all the pregnant friends, all the babies, all the talk of children and everything.

My friend from New Zealand is over at the moment. I saw her a couple of weeks ago. She is pregnant. When we got together last, it was just after the embryo transfer. She wants to get together tomorrow, as she is flying out Wednesday. She'll want to get the whole gang together I imagine, which is 4 girls plus me and everyone bar me and one other is either pregnant or has just had a baby. DH and I had planned to go on a nice walk and then cook a roast dinner tomorrow, and I don't know if I can face seeing the whole gang. I'm not going to spend much time with DH today as he's on a course, so I wanted Sunday to be our special day. I know this'll be the last time I'll see my friend in ages but I just don't know if I can face it. Is that mean?

We've got our review appointment with the consultant on Wednesday. The nurse told us we could go again on my next period and I hope this is the case. I have a few questions to ask - this time I started to bleed on Saturday night when OTD was Wednesday, and although I got more eggs this time (just), they gave me cyclogest in the 2ww instead of pregnyl injections. I am going to ask if this made a difference and ask if I can have pregnyl instead on the next cycle. I also want to know if there is a difference between long and short protocol as far as implantation goes.

I did tell my boss at work I was going to cycle again and would like to have some time working from home and then sick leave after egg collection. And she was absolutely fantastic...I am so lucky to have someone that understanding as a boss. I felt awkward because she had been good the first time but she said not to worry at all, that it was more important than work. 

Anyway, I have to go to Sainsbury's now (exciting life eh) and then I am off on a run. So I'll sign off and say hope you all have lovely weekends and that our pregnant soon-to-be-mum buds are all doing OK xxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi hana , i was the same with the dates, i was confused too , what day did your frosties get frozen?  + the two days after surge and that is when it should go in but they say there is a few day leyway.

Hi to everyone else.

thanks Curly and mrs ixy for your support too.  

Pooky no what you mean double glazing is so expensive and it doesnt make sense how the prices vary so much.  

Rxx


----------



## 1972

Bloody hell pooky, how many windows you got!!??

Squirrell            

Mrs ixy -     you are being very brave xx

Hanna - good luck, thinking of you   

Hi to everyone else.

Well -  news from me- we've put an offer in on the house .  excited and scared.. Don't think it will be accepted but it's a start...


----------



## Nordickat

squirrel. huge congratulations again. stick tight baby. 
mrs ixy. i hope you get to cycle again quickly. make sure you have healed first as cycling with a broken heart makes things even harder xxx
maisie. fingers crossed for the house. i have a feeling this will be the start of something good for you. 
curley. fingers crossed for this job. next stop seru. i hope xxx
honor. hugs coming your way. keep re.imding yourslf dh is away so he can make a wonderful happy life for you and your baby xxx
hula and lynn and karen. i hope things ate going ok ad that you join squirrel to share the next chapters of your lives. thinking of you all xxx


i had lots more i needed to say but its forgotten already. i am flying high so wont risk posting more. i did read back though and thanks for wishing me well and i will be back to thank you all properly once i get my demons under control. i have to see a psychiatrist next week and i am terrified. even the word makes me feel sick so not sure i will make it to the appt. if i survive i will let you know if lying on a leather couch is for real or just on tv lol. i will also tell you about the grilling i keep getting and the 'concerns' about my use of alcohol lol.  anyway my wine glass is empty so time to refill it hehehe.


love to everyone.
katxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies,

Mrs Ixy - you are being incredibly strong, and you should be very proud of yourself for handling your disappointment so well. Hats off to you and sending loads of love  . This is your time to be selfish if you need to be - dont force yourself to see those friends if you need dh time. They will understand and still love you. Glad your boss is great - it makes a huge difference and you deserve that support xx

Curly - good luck with job!! Sounds so promising!! Bring on the next phase of your future! Xx

Maisie - am here for cat chat anytime  . Hope you house offer is successful and so glad you have plans in motion xx

Honor - hope Ned keeping you entertained! Xx

Lynn - good luck with scan / jags / iui and ivf appts. Thinking of you! Xx

Pooky - you need good double glazing for your pookettes   xx

Rachel - hope all going better your end xx

Hula - how is everything coming along? Xx

Hanna - fingers crossed for thawing! Xx

Kat - good to see you on here lovely kitten. Hope the grilling changes to a gentle flambee, and even better, no heat at all  . Bet you have battled worse demons than a psychiatrist, and I know you can and will get through the appointment. I know it. I hope very much that they actually help and support you so your fears can be allayed. We are all here and want to help. Will listen anytime. Thinking of you xx

Karen - if youre lurking, keep going, i have huge faith in you and your ability to get through this cycle xx

Everyone - huge grateful thanks for all lovely comments and dances for me. Means so much xx


----------



## lynn1303

hey girlies

i'm still woo hooing for squirrel!! you are a wonderful wonderful woman!!!

pooky - is that price just for double glazing? OMG!!

mrs ixy- how u feeling petal? big hugs for you!!

curly - have you started new job yet?

honor - how r u hunni? any sickness yet? i hope dh home soon with a job!!!!! he still has some uber making up to do!!!

maisie - hopefully maisie cat will start getting better with her new meds soon, congrats on house  woo hoo

rachel - how u hunni?

kat - i#m glad ur popping on when u can.  ur no 1 priority get urself fighting fight!! we'll always be here for u,

hey hula hows stimming coming along? 

hanna is it monday u r having FET.  we should be on 2ww together!! 

bell how r u getting on babes?

afm

well friday was a busy fertility day.  i went for scan for iui.  my left ovary has 1 follie at 1.6mm  i've to trigger tomorrow at 12 and have iui at 12 on monday,  fx all goes well then i'll be on dreaded 2ww - again!!! 

i then went across city to my ivf appointment.  all results r good.  my amh is 75 and dh SA was 230 mil/ml although there wasn't a lot of volume.  she says we r good to go for ivf.  i should be top of list in nov.  they will send for me in dec for HIV/AIDS blood tests then 4 weeks later for consents etc then we will get started.  so its all go.  

hope all buds posting and lurking are keeping well.  big hugs

xxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

mrs ixy. i forgot to saythat you are not mean at all. the fastest way for you to heal and be strong enough to tr again is to avoid difficult situations. your friends wont mind at all. you wouldnt think badly of any of them for not turning up would you and same goes for you. look after you and dh for a bit. did you have progesterone jabs for yoyr fet or fresh cycle? they sometimes do things differently for fet as you havent had the other hormones to help. if you are worried you can always gat a blood test in the 2ww and get a progesterone boost if needed. in theory i guess implantation rates should be higher with the sp because egg quality should generally be higher. be interesting to see what they say to that question.


good luck tomorrow hanna and lynn xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi kat - nice to see you   sorry that life is still black for you, I am positive that you will start to feel better soon. We watched a Norwegian film last night - the troll hunter. It was funny. Have you seen it? We've decided that Norway looks very nice and we've put it on our list of places to go so when we do we will pop by for coffee and cake!

Squirrel - hope you're ok and having lots of cuddles with colin!

D - tomorrow is the big day isn't it? Good luck! Hope all goes well and look forward to seeing some pics of your young man.

Hanna/Lynn - good luck to both of you tomorrow. Hanna I believe that time the eggs going back in to the age of the blastocyst. So if you have a five day blastocyst then it should go in about 5 days past ovulation. I know of a few people who have done the deed by mistake  around that time and got pregnant so they never knew if it was the FET or good old mother nature that did the trick. Anyway - thinking of you both and sending fairy dust your way.

Maisie - the quote for glazing wasn't even for the whole house! We've got a 1930s mid terrace with 3 big bay windows, patio doors that need doing and the back door too. We've got s bloke called Colin coming round on Tuesday who is recommend and I think he's from Hertford so were hoping he'll give us a good price. Good luck with the house offer! Keeping fingers crossed for you. This house ownership lark is expensive stuff! Have you got your shoes sorted for your party yet?

Curlyone - if you fancy doing a bit more decorating you can head over here...... I will pay you in cake   good luck with the contract. I hope it works out so you can jump back on the treatment trail.

Karen - how are you getting on? I hope the new clinic is working out for you.

Hula - I hope guys aren't driving you nuts. Apparently they were mentioned on the one show the other week as being the best nhs fertility hospital in London.

Honor - hope you're coping ok. Will dh be back in time for your birthday? I hope ned is looking after you.

Hello to everyone else 

Take care all. I'm about to paint some bits of paper to try and work out what colour to paint the hall and from two bedrooms. Only been trying to decide for about six months now - I just can't seem to find the right colour.....


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope everyone is well and enjoying their weekend .

*Rachel*: Thanks for the Skype chat on Friday , was lovely to catch up, and to meet Ethan!

*maisie*: So glad maisiemoo  has finally been diagnosed and that it's something that can be treated, even if it won't be particularly pleasant for her or you to have to give her tablets every day. Hope the further tests she has come back all clear.
How exciting that you've put in an offer ! Let us know what happens next!

*squirrel*:  again!! So glad it all worked out so well, despite all the stress and trauma getting there . Now update your profile signature !

*Hanna*: ET tomorrow ! Hope everything goes well ! Have you taken a test just to make sure ?! How funny would it be for you to have fallen pregnant naturally after all your chasing of appeals and harrassing of officials !
Still don't know when DH due back - will call him later but doubt he'll know yet.

*Curly*: How's the supporting statement going? I'm sure you'll smash it  and be on that plane to Greece before you know it !
Yes, I do keep letting myself daydream about all the fab things we'll (finally!) be able to do when DH gets a job! Still, can't help wishing he was here...

*Pooky*: I don't envy you your double-glazing, or any other home-owner hassles and expenses... I'm sure it'll all be worth it in the end, though, and you'll have a lovely family home ready and waiting for your lovely little ones .
No idea if DH will be back in time for my birthday, but I hope so!

*mrs_ixy*: I echo the others: don't go if you don't feel up to it. It's only natural that you want some quiet time alone with DH. It's bad timing, I guess, when your friend is not here for long, but I'm sure she'll understand if you'd rather not go along. Is there a chance you could see her just the two of you for a coffee before she goes back on Wednesday, if you felt up to it, of course?
 for your follow-up on Wednesday. I hope it brings you some clarity about how to proceed with your next cycle, and that you're able to start as soon as you'd like to.

*Kat*: Hope your appointment next week goes ok; am thinking of you and sending you lots of encouragement vibes of support and love .

*Lynn*: Sounds like you had a busy but very productive day on Friday! That's great that you've been successful with your IVF referral - that sounds very odd, doesn't it? Like it's "lucky" to be referred for IVF . Well, you know what I mean! I'm confident though that you'll be passing on your place in the list to someone else very soon . 
Hope you're all triggered and ready now for your basting tomorrow! !!

*Hula*: How are things going for you? Any more idea on a potential EC date?

*Karen*: Hope you're ok? Kind of met your DH on Skype on Friday - thought it was you, forgot it's a joint account !

Love and  to everyone else,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Evening!!
Lynn, So I'm right behind you then, my ET is sceduled for 2pm tomorrow!! Ohhh, let the crazy 2ww commence! (    succesful thawing)
Honor- I suppose it's right then, they say ovulation accures 24-48h after lh surge, which was on a monday, embies are 5 day blasts so that'd be 7 days then. How are you feeling honey? x
Pooky- Are you into rich colours or light? I painted my bedroom with almost white paint with just a hint of sort of duckegg green/blue, and then one wall darker duckegg green/blue. They say blue in the bedroom is good as it is a calming relaxing colour x
Kat- Good to see you again. *frantically trying to shift the black clouds to reveal the sun in your direction*  
Squirrel- How are you feeling x
Maisie- Great news on the house-front. Hope they accept your offer x
Mrs Ixy   Keep strong, hun. Hope you get to cycle soon again x
Rachel -Yeah, with your calculation they really are doing my et at the right time, so now I have to find something else to worry about  
Everyone-  
afm- So, tomorrow is the day... EEEEEEKKKK! Wish me luck people, I need it sooooo bad!    
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## 1972

Good luck to Lynn and Hanna tomorrow .      xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Good luck hana xx


----------



## Pookychops

Just realised that I got my dates mixed up for delivery of d's baby. I am a numpty!


----------



## Big hat

Hanna and Lynn - good luck ladies!!!!!!!

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hi ladies! 
PHEW! WHY oh why do they keep you waiting for so long!!??
Anyway, just got my call, both of my embies have survived the thaw and are looking very good! 
Can I now let out a big scream?? 
So, getting ready now for our trip to London to put my babies where they belong! Problem is, I am having period like pains atm, and am starting to panic. It would be way too early for them though but I'm so afraid I'll go there and they say my lining has crumbled and they can't do it anymore...
. Must stay positive... my hands are sweating... 
Good luck Lynn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Currently  lying in a head down tilt singing the look who's talking theme tune willing dh wee dudes to make it to my one and only embie!!! 

Hanna good luck petal. Let the 2ww madness begin!! Woop woop. Xxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hana thats great news are you having both , really try and stay calm and relaxed , what time is the transfer? xxx

Good luck Lynn xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi,

Stupid me for believing that the world could be nice to me. Hcg bloods plummeted, bring on the mc. Just so angry at the world and huurting so very much. For a change. Not.


----------



## lynn1303

Oh no Suzy. I've txt u. Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Squirrel -     your precious little one was just too special for this horrid world     

I'm home now and here all night


----------



## Hannushka

Squirrel-   I am so devastated for you honey. Are you absolutely sure? I don't know what to say  
Please take care and take time to heal. The world can be an ugly place, but do not lose hope. Big hugs xxxxxxx
Rachel- Yes I had both put in. I raised my concerns about my lining, I feared it's gonna be too crumbled and ready drop but they assured me it was perfect,thick and fluffy  
Lynn- EEEK! It is the madness time!
afm- So, as I said, 2 great quality embies were transferred at 2pm and I even got a picture to prove it! All went well but I'm now gona ask my clinic one more time if they'd give me some cyclogest, just for some extra support. If not, I really am contemplating on using my 13 cyclogests. Can I cut them in half and stick half in the morning and half in the evening, or does this sound completely bonkers? Dh made a request that I stay away from FF and try to be as normal as possible this time so I won't get as stressed as last time and I said yes... So I will be taking sort of a break from here (if I can) and just relax, well, I will go to work and stuff but I gotta try and not to focus too much on this madness... 
I wish you all well for now and will peek in where I can 
Lynn- If I start going crazy, can I txt u? lol dh allows me a mobile but no FF   
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## rachel1972

squirrel so sorry that you having to go through such an awful time.xx

hana never let a man dictate to you but if you are feeling you want to step away for a bit then we are here when you return xx


----------



## Twinklie

I'm so sorry Squirrel


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna - congrats on being PUPO! With two good quality blasts your chances are really excellent now. You can use your cyclogest if you want, I probably would but then I tend to have quite a lot of spotting before my period. It won't do any harm anyway. You could take one every evening at bedtime, that's probably easiest and pretty standard. Good luck!


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna  - Finally PUPO again hey  Hooray! I would do as Twinklie says and use one cyclogest at night. 
Lynn - and you are PUPO too   Yippee!

I am just chatting to Karen who says hello to you all. She is mid stims now but trying to not think too much about it hence why she hasn't been on here for a while. Hopefully she will be back to share good news with us one day soon   




Squirrel more


----------



## Gladys07

Squirrel oh no   I am sorry xx

Hannah good luck and do what ever you need to do to keep relaxed and calm

Hello everyone xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Got a looooooooong wait for my coach home from Birmingham, so thought I'd post.

Squirrel: Have sent you a text. So sad, angry and cross at the world on your behalf.

Hanna & Lynn: Hello there PUPO ladies! So glad everything went to plan for you both. And Lynn, what commitment to us, posting from your sling! Shame on you Hanna for not posting from the stirrups! Can you imagine their faces if you had done!

Dee: Is it Wednesday that's THE day?! Hope you're not too uncomfortable and impatient...

Kat: Thanks for the Karen update! Hope you're doing ok too.

Rachel: Hope you're well. Big day Wednesday for you too!

Sorry if I missed anyone, harder to scroll back/remember with phone.
Had lovely day with my friend. It's weird, but in a good way, but was sort of surprised to find her just like she always has been, after how hard things were while I was cycling and she was pregnant. I told her my news and she was delighted, but agreed best to remain cautious for now. Over lunch, she asked me if I'd be godmother for her son, which was a lovely surprise, and had me in tears! She wanted to get something in Mothercare and I found it really hard to be in there - all these woman so easily and naturally browsing and buying and me looking and feeling uncomfortable, like a fraud or an intruder. Kind of sad that I can't embrace pg like "normal" pg women. My friend noticed and asked if I was ok. I just said I was, as I knew she wouldn't get why I just wanted to get out of there and block it out.

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Squirrel - I'm so sorry and upset for you. That's terrible news and so completely unexpected.   Take care sweetiepie. x

Lynn and Hanna - well done girls! Do whatever you need to do to get you through the 2ww. xxx

Kat, Twinklie, Gladys, Rachel (and Karen)  hello lovelies.

Honor - I know it's hard but each day it will become a bit more real.

lots of love all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Gladys07

Lynne sorry I missed you as pupo blame me scanning on phone and pure exhaustion sorry xxx congrats I will keep positive thoughts for you

Honor the big day is Thursday !!!! Xxx

Love to you all xxx


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## lynn1303

Oooo dee not long!! 

Hanna yep petal u txt and ** all u like. Dh gets upset with me on ff all the time!! 

Xxx


----------



## Hannushka

ummm, still around here lol
Rachel- He isn't dictating really, he's just looking after me as last time I was jumping off the walls.
The pre-natal cd I got at the last meet up... umm... mind block was it from Karen? is going to be in good use 
Right I'm off babes.. x


----------



## ma-me28

squirrel      

hanna and lynn congrats on being pupo.x
gladys all the best for thurs how exciting.x 
big hugs and hi to everyone elsex


----------



## 1972

o Lynn and Hanna. Well done ladies xxxxxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies,

Squirrel, I am so so sorry. Why does this have to be so cruel? I just don't know what to say...I am so sad for you, I really am. I really wanted this to be 'it' for you. Please know that we are all here for you if and when you need us. Also, it won't mean anything to you now I know, but you are strong and you will get through this - when I lost my pregnancy last year I just felt like the bottom had dropped off my world and everything was falling out...but somehow you get through it and I know you will too.

Maisie - have you had any feedback on your offer yet?

Kat - I hope it goes okay with the psychiatrist. You are such a brave lady, I know you will make it to the couch (or the chair or whatever!). And we are all here to support you. Oh, in answer to your question - I've only had 2 fresh cycles (although on this one they used frozen sperm; I assume this doesn't make a difference). First time round I had the jabs, this time, the cyclogest. Can't help wondering about that since I started bleeding several days before OTD, but I will ask about it on Wednesday, when we have our review.

Lynn - so the 2ww madness begins. Everything crossed for you. 

Pooky - did you decide on a colour? I sort of get stage fright when it comes to painting in case I make a mistake!

Hanna - fingers crossed for you too. If I were you I would probably use the cyclogests, but not sure about cutting them in half. Don't suppose it would do any harm, but I broke one once and had to put it "inside" in two parts. It was a bit, erm, scratchy!

Honor - I think I would feel like an intruder too and that's OK, don't feel bad about that. I am sure that eventually you will be able to browse naturally to and ease into your pregnancy once you feel more confident about it. I bet you can't wait for the 12 week scan x

Wow - D - not long! 

Curly and ma-me - hello!

AFM - I said to my friend I couldn't meet up at the weekend and told her why and she was lovely - she sent a really lovely email so I felt good about that. Just a shame about the timing as the last time I saw her was at my wedding in 2008! But we do Skype. I don't really have any other news, just waiting for our review appointment on Wednesday. xxx


----------



## 1972

Thinking of squirrel , big  


Hello to Kat and Karen. Miss you both from the thread,  

Offer was rejected on house, which I thought it would be..so,will put higher one in today and see what's happens. Agent claims vendor is looking for asking price.. Yes, but he's not going to get it as its too high, been for sale for 6 months , needs work etc... Hate the game playing bit, dont want to risk losing it but agent is a dick and he will not win   lol

Week from hell for me, so much to finish before week off.   cannot wait for time off. 

Last few days of my 30's         lol


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - I'm here again in the background but since I don't want to talk about tx or babies I don't have so much to contribute! As for turning 40, my DH seems to love it. He just blames all his whacky plans and slight exccentricities on a midlife crisis where as before he was 40 he was just odd  . Keep thinking of that week off to get you through your work load. Head down and focus   

MrsIxy - I'm glad your friend was so lovely but its not surprising, that what friends are like   . Good luck tomorrow.

Squirrel -   Feel free to distract me today  . Lots of extra special   coming your way. I just spoke to DH on the phone and there was a strange snotty interference   

Karen - if you do look in today  

 to our PUPO duo and Hulagirl too.

Love to everyone else. 

Me and Poochie are off to the vets now which is always an embarrassing experience - think big hairy zebedee out of his box  . Wish me luck!


----------



## lynn1303

Aw kat hunni. I hope u get on ok at vets. Is the wee man ok? 

Maisie. Don't give up. Don't let the agent win they will be playing u. The higher they sell For the more commission they get. 

Xx


----------



## Nordickat

Lynn - Over a year ago pooch broke his leg hurling himself off some steps in the ice to say hello to his favourite friend. It causes him pain so they've been deciding what to do with him. They decided today that he needs an operation but judging by the fact he is lying on the sofa   with his legs in the air snoring, he doesn't seem to concerned about it   . Its 8 weeks recovery time though so we need to work out when to do it. How on earth we will survive 8 weeks with him in a cast I don't know  .


----------



## lynn1303

Aw poor wee pupster!!! Dogs have a wonderful way of not caring. Lol. When he does have his op he'll still bound about with his cast on giving u a few frights I'm sure. I was a blubbering wreck when u had to sign my cats consent form and they were only being neutered. Will u or dh make sure ur off work for the first week or so? Xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

We can probably wangle some more 'working from home'. I'm only working 50% at the moment anyway so he has short days alone. My biggest concern is how we let him get his energy out. He really does need a lot of exercise to keep him (and us) sane. 

I was sat on the floor with him while the vet talked to me. Pooch was lying next to me with his head on my knee trying his 'i am dead cute' thing on us and this was after he had tried to kiss everyone in the waiting room and given the vet so much loving. The vet then asked if he was an important enough part of your life to go through with all this? I thought I had mistranslated and she confirmed by explaining that some people decide not to spend the money and cut their losses and have the dog put down if he is a problem dog for example   . I was mortified  . He is the most wonderfully natured loving thing ever with a heart too big for his little body, and she asked if we wanted him put down   . Thankfully he only understands Swedish, English and Welsh so didn't understand what she said about him!


----------



## lynn1303

Kat that's awful. I'm glad the wee man didn't understand the bad vet. I'd pay any amount of money to save my pet. As long as they aren't suffering I'd do whatever they needed. I'm sure ur the same. Is he insured. Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

I would also pay any amount to make him pain free. Thankfully he is insured though. His acrobatics have cost the insurance company 4 grand so far with another 5 to follow with the op. The cost doesn't matter except he was all my Christmas and birthday presents for the next 5 years as it is. If we had to pay his bills ourselves I'd never get another present from DH for as long as I live!


----------



## lynn1303

Lol wot u like!!! I'd turn it on dh and tell him a happy doggy = a happy wife = a happy hubby!!! So u should still get all ur birthday and Xmas pressies!!! It's him if anyone should do without a present!!! Lol. Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

I buy myself much better presents than DH ever would anyway. When I lose my marbles and hammer my credit card there is a permanent smell of melting plastic coming from my bag  . DH takes the dog for walks as his gift to me   ......... I am thinking of upgrading my husband though!


----------



## lynn1303

Lol. It's a shame we can't send our hubby's for services and mots!! And of course the occasional trade in!!


----------



## squirrel2010

Congrats to pupo ladies, and good luck to those cycling. Xx

All of you - am overwhelmed with the amount of care, thoughtfulness and loveliness coming my way - doing my usual of not thinking I deserve it but I love you all for being there. Xx

Kat - thank you, you know why! Snivelling stopped so far, hope dhs phone starts to function better soon  . Will have good think about pooch op, how dare they suggest the unspeakable - I am furious at my profession. How very dare they. Grr. Cuddles to Pooch. Xx

AFM, my heart hurts, my tummy hurts, my eyes hurt from crying, and I look like a slightly bizarre spotty swollen turnip is perched on my neck. I am going to eat myself into a chocolate induced coma for now. To top it all off I think the world is having a joke with me today as blinking usual. The old lady from up the road mistook me for my sister and stopped me to congratulate me on my pregnancy. It took five minutes to explain that I wasnt the pregnant one and that my sister had had the baby already. Have to laugh, or you cry. Oh, sorry, already been doing that for 24 hours. Anyhow - there are good things to come out of this, and your support is top of the list. Clinic review thursday then plan for friday. Sorry not to do more personals, but Mrs Ixy - hugs, and Maisiemoo - you go girl, that house will be yours xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Squirrel*: So pleased you posted to let us know how you're doing, although I wish it were happier circumstances . What a silly neighbour . I didn't realise your sister lived near you; for some reason, I thought she lived in England ? Hope DH is on hand for lots of big bear hugs. SO, SO wish there was something I could do or say to make it all better for you . Just let me know if you want to chat, any time .

*Curly*: Thanks for your encouraging words .
Any job news ?

*Dee*: Ohhhh - Thursday ! Just 2 more sleeps!

*Hanna*: Sending you lots of  vibes and  for your 2ww !

*Lynn*: You too: , , !

*ma-me*: Hey there , how are you doing?! Are you stimming now?

*mrs_ixy*: I'm glad it all worked out fine in the end with your friend. A true friend will always understand . Just think - next time you see her, you'll be either pregnant or be introducing your baby to her .
 for your follow-up tomorrow!

*maisie*: Bummer on your first offer being rejected and the not-particularly-helpful agent . Have you put in your higher offer? Hope it's accepted!
Hope the rest of the week flies by and you're off before you know it . Any plans for your week off?

*Kat*: Good to know you're here in the background. I totally understand you not wanting to participate in tx and/or pg-related chat, but love hearing from you on all other topics - in particular enjoyed your pets and vets discussion with *Lynn* this morning ! Can't believe the vet implied you may want to have pooch put to sleep ! Hope you can work out when best for him to have his op and that he recovers from it well .

Big  to everyone else!

*AFM*: Spoke to DH earlier. He's full of cold and sounded awful . He's got 2 phone interviews tomorrow afternoon and has been "informed" of possible coaches back this week . There was a spark of interest in tomorrow night's coach, but I'm not sure he'll really feel up to travelling by then. Just missing him loads and wishing he was here...

xxx

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi again ,

Keep meaning to ask you all for some advice: A friend of mine, who knows about our IF issues, the ICSI and m/c, is herself about to do a cycle of IUI next month. I'm umming and ahhing over whether or not to tell her that I'm (hopefully !) pg . I know she'll be pleased for us but that it's still a sensitive subject to approach. I've been gradually telling the handful of friends who knew about our fertility issues, just because it's a subject likely to come up during conversations with them and I hate, and am no good, at "lieing"/deflecting questions, also, I hope, to give them a glimmer of hope. Anyhow, as she's due to cycle soon, I'm not sure what best to do - just be there for her and do my best to brush over/avoid any of her questions about our own situation and plans, only telling her know our news after our first scan (or once she's had the outcome of the IUI), or tell her before she starts what may not turn out to be a positive cycle for her ??

Also (am doing a good job of remembering things this afternoon !): My BF sent me a couple of really good books on more of the emotional side of IF that I found very useful, if not only to reassure me that I wasn't been a stupid, bitter drama queen , which she has said she doesn't need back. One is called "Unsung Lullabies" (just the title brings tears to my eyes...) and the other "Waiting ofr Daisy". Let me know if you'd be interested in reading 1 of both of these and I can post it/them out to you.

Talking of books... I'm SO sorry for dragging my feet over getting on with the book and delegating . I will RIGHT NOW log into the Cheesecake Gang e-mail and mail you all a "consent form" . This is so I can get written confirmation of willingness for your posts to be used in the book. Once I have these back, we'll know exactly whose posts to keep and whose to delete and I can then get on with the next stage: tidying up a couple of pages of what I have done so far to send to willing volunteers as a template for editing the remaining masses of pages of posts !

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hey buds.

Second offer in, let's see what happens ...

Kat - I've emailed you  . You are so sweet, thank you. that's so bad re pooch... I hope he will be ok. Poor mais can't stand the vets, she would love them though if they were squirrel    

Honor - i'll help as much as I can re book. I think my posts may need seriously editing !! Lol. Hope dh will be home with you soon xxxx

Squirrel - you are being very strong.   I'm thinking of you and think choc is the way forward.  

Lynn and Hanna -    

Curly - how are you mrs ? Xxxx

Mrs ixy - good luck tomorrow  

Hi to everyone else xxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Morning buds,

Kat - don't envy you going to the vets.  Hope it all went well and pooch is ok. I hate it when they have to have a general anaesthetic - last time ours did he bolted out the door when I went to pick him up, ran at the car and leapt in the back, then was lurching round the house like a drunken man in a ploughed field.  We had to wrap him in a blanket as he was shivering when he lay down.  I felt so bad as he didn't understand what had gone on (only that he had a painful bottom  ).  Gosh, we're a bunch of softies us lot  .

Hanna and Lynn - hope you are keeping sane!

Pooky - hope you have got some cheaper quotes for your windows.

Mrs Ixy - well done for doing what's right for you  .

Squirrel - thinking about you sweetie  . xx

Maisie -hope your second offer gets accepted.  The way I view it, if you have offered what you think it is worth and they still hold out, you can walk away knowing that you have not been cheated and that it mustn't have been meant for you, and something better is around the corner. Hope all is going well for your party. xx

Honor - it's a tricky one - I think I would set out not to tell her but, if the situation arose and it seems better to tell than withhold information tell her.  I know that's not much help but it depends where she is at mentally, and what she gets told by the Drs.

Gladys - I have images of you sitting with your coat and scarf on, overnight bag packed and at your side ready for the off  .  Hope all goes well missus. xx

Hi Rachel, Ma-me et al. x

Afm: supporting statement went in but I haven't heard anything yet.  Bless, DH was even dreaming of the new car he wants to buy, and planning his 'holiday' in greece  . We'll see. Until then, there are other applications to get in.  I got knocked a bit sideways last night - a friend texted to say she is having yet another baby, and it just made me feel really down - the simplicity of it 'should we have another baby?' 'Yes. I'll stop taking the pill then.' ....and hey presto.  Now, if you believe the hype, as a currently unemployed person I should be popping them out with hardly a backwards glance, but no.  I'm ok now (several glasses of wine and a bit of a cry later) but last night I just felt like there was no point in anything, and even felt a bit embarrassed when I did admit to DH the reason why, it's not as if he hasn't got enough on his plate, but I felt somehow disingenuous towards our friend that I was not ecstatic for her even though I had sent a really positive text back to her.

Anyway ladies, onwards and upwards, sitting moping isn't going to get the money in and the trip to Serum off the ground...... The dog needs walking and life goes on....

hugs all

xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - Tell your friend. I hate being made to feel the freak that people are afraid to upset. Tell her in person with sensitivity and knowledge that it might hurt. You know she'll go home and shed a tear but you also know it won't break her. Thats just my opinion though. I'm not sure about the book any more. I don't have a probelm with my story being in it but I know its not a story anyone will want to read, its hardly going to make people feel good about embarking on tx. I'll think about it.

Curly - Sometimes we have to be frauds for our own sakes as well as our friends. I also find it embarrassing when DH wants to know whats wrong, it seems so insignificant and silly to give the reason ...... even worse though is when you don't even know what the reason is   . Glad the wine and tears helped and I hope the walk clears your head even more still. I secretly love it when my pooch has had an anaesthetic because he is such a cuddly mummys boy afterwards   

Maisie - I'm using the squirrel online vets service, she is much nicer   

MrsIxy - hope the clinic make you feel positive again today.

Squirrel   . Thinking of you.

Lynn, Hanna and Hula -


----------



## rachel1972

hi curly  , you are entitled to feel the way you do , I would tell your dh when you feel down, and not feel you have to stuff your feelings.  Im propably not as good a friend as you but if you didnt feel overjoyed then thats how it is and you are not going to effect your friend by feeling the way you do.  Even though i have my son i still feel uncomfortable sometimes now, as i know someone who just had twins after two boys already and i dont see her so i dont have to pretend.  Hope your job situation improved now its nearly spring ,it usually improves prospects.  xxx
thinking of you Squirrel.xx
Hope it all goes smooothly tomorrow Gladys.xx
Hi to all you lovely buds, honor, maise, lynn, pooky, kat, hana,karen and anybody i have missed.
afm got my clinic tomorrow but they cant really say much till dh has is op so it all seems like a bit of a waste of £400 tbh, dh gave me the same old patter last night about how hard life is and a baby will only make it worse, blah blah blah and i gave my speach again it really is so tirersome.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*maisie*: Any news on your second offer yet ?
Thanks for pointing out I hadn't attached the form to the e-mail! I'm always forgetting to attach attachments to mails . Done now!
Just 2.5 days left for you at work before your break !

*Curly* and *Kat*: Thanks for your advice re. telling my friend . She lives in London so I'm unlikely to see her. I'm not sure whether to just tell her after the 12-week scan, and to make out no one at all knew before then. If it hadn't been that she knew about the ICSI etc., I wouldn't be telling her before then anyhow, but she does and so it's a case of bad luck (in the sense of not fair that she's having to do tx in the first place ) and bad timing (hope that doesn't come out all wrong!). I always found it easier to read someone's baby news than have it told to me, even over the phone, but I don't want to offend her in any way, so do I say anything, and if so, by phone or e-mail ??!

*Curly*:  at DH making plans to spend your as yet to be well-earned wages! Hope you hear something soon so that DH can put into action all his plans!
Don't feel bad about being upset over your friend's announcement . It always hurts like hell, and every single time you (general you ) find yourself a whole ball of horrible emotions: anger, jealousy, sadness, confusion, guilt... Share your pain with your DH - he probably won't 100% get it, but he'll at least be able to be there and to try to understand, which will be a huge help for you .

*Kat*: Is *squirrel* aware that she's offering an online vets service ?! I'm sure we could all keep her plenty busy with our fur baby queries! She was a God-send when Neo went missing/died. 
Ahhh, there's nothing quite like a cuddly fur baby . My little Ned  is very huggy - we call him "Neddy Bear"!

*rachel*: Sorry you and DH aren't quite seeing eye to eye over tx . I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow (was sure it was today ) and that it does manage to leave you feeling more optimistic again .

*Dee*: 1 more sleep!!! !

*mrs_ixy*: How did you get on at your follow-up today? Hope it went well .

How are our PUPO ladies doing, *Hanna* and *Lynn*   ?

And our cycling ladies, *Karen*, *Hula* and *ma-me*   ?

And our pg ladies, *Carey* and *Pooky*  ?

 to anyone I've missed!

xxx


----------



## lynn1303

Hey honor hunni. I'm not feeling so good tbh. I just feel really crappy physically but emotionally I'm a blubbering wreck. I feel so down and keep crying all the time. I've never felt like this b4  Went to bed after dh last night when I went to bed I tried to cuddle in and dh just pushed me away and told me to leave him alone coz he's tired. I felt so rejected. I just lay there in tears. Xx


----------



## Honor77

Hey *lynn*,

Sorry you're having a horrible time of it . I'm around and free to chat (well, listen!) if you fancy a Skype catch up?

xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Honor - if you're going to talk to her about her tx in the coming weeks I think you should perhaps tell her your news as well. Email always worked best for me, so you can have a little breakdown in private if needed.

Lynn -


----------



## Karen_S

HI Buds,

I'm alive and barely coping with tx again, so hence the very long silence. I'm so sorry to be so AWOL, but I'm in a kind of denial that yet again I'm sticking needles in my belly and suffering the emotional ups, downs and sideways effects, as well as the headaches, belly pains and the fear that nothing will come of it.
The things we do....

I'm sorry to keep this one so short, but I felt it was high time I said hello and let you all know what's happening in my world. I've skimmed the recent posts, and there is just so muich news I couldn't keep up, so my post is a little less detailed today, but please know I'm thinking of every one of you and appreciate your friendship, kindness and cyber-support always.

Before I go further - HUGE congrats to all new Bud-mothers and Bud-mothers soon-to-be. You are still an inspiration and proof that anything is possible. 

To all Buds with not so good news lately - I'm so sorry to hear about the BFN's and bad results.   This whole journey $uck$ and no-one should ever have to go through it. We are the lucky, chosen few...

To all Buds who've been wishing me well and sending me positivity and good thoughts - Thank you. I really appreciate it.   Every kind word adds a little lift to my day, even if I don't always have the energy to reply so fast.

To all fellow cyclers - good luck and my fingers are crossed for you. You are not alone and I'm thinking of you all.  

To everyone else - love and hugs to you all, wherever you are at. 

So, *AFM *- I'm on day 8 of stimms today and we're back to Prague tomorrow for a scan and to have an endometrium scratching procedure - supposed to help the embryos attach and implant later. God, I only hope there will be embryos next week. Tomorrow I'll hopefully know EC date, but I think it'll be Monday or Tuesday. I still have no idea how many follies are in there, but I'm hoping and praying that there are more than the last few times. On a positive note I've never been this bloated before, and I feel like I've swallowed a small whole pumpkin. That can only be a good sign, right? 5 follicles was my all-time high, and last time there were only 2. I'm nervous beyond description.

To top it all off, I heard today about 2 newly pregnant ladies, one a good friend and the other a client. They both just decided late last year they were ready for another child, and "bang" it happened for both of them. Why does nature have to be so generous to some and so cruel to others? Didn't you mention the same thing Curly? Hence, I'm feeling all the more sh1tty and depressed today.

So, that's my news.

_*Kat, Squirrel, Dee, Honor, Maisie, Twinklie, Dee, Rachael, Curly, Pooky, Hanna, Mrs_ixy, Carey, HulaGirl, Lynn, Bell, Ma-Me*_, and anyone I may have missed - thank you for your support and for being there. Please forgive me for being so slack on the thread lately, I've just been feeling very down, scared, and not so social. But I'm thinking of you all.



_*
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.*_


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Karen*: Thanks for the update - good to know where you're at . Just sorry you're finding it hard .  for a positive outcome for you.

*AFM*: Bitten the bullet and e-mailed my friend. Decided best to e-mail but to say to let me know if she wants me to call her. Hope I was sensitive enough...
Hoping for a 2nd miracle (though think may have used up my lifetime's allocation now!) - DH to be boarding a coach to London this evening . Doubt it though somehow... Oh, and it's irrelevant whether or not he has or will call or text me to tell me he's on his way home, as he's bound to just decide last minute and not bother telling me!

Have a good evening, *Buds*!

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey ladies....
WHO am I kidding?! I can't stay away from here   
Lynn- I echo your feelings. I have been very teary and feeling crappy too. Are you on cyclogest? I decided to use mine after all, and yes, I decided to cut them in half and stick half in the morning and half in the evening, just to balance out the side effects. They are still there but not as bad as right after sticking a whole 400mg one there. 
Honor- Well done for e-mailing the friend. It would've kept bugging you if you hadn't. I'm sure she'll be fine x
Karen- Nice to hear from you. Best of luck on your cycle, may this be your time, as you so so deserve it     
Rachel- Sorry to hear of your little brawl regarding tx... Good luck for tomorrow xx
Kat- Hope you are well. I hope you decide to be part of the book as you have been such a part of our little gang. It isn't about just the tx even. You have had such an impact to so many of our lives as I remember vividly you and Karen being THE agony aunts to all of us from the start. We can't have a book without agony aunt!!   
Maisie- Any news on your second offer? xx
Deee- OMG, It is almost time!! Hope everything goes well tomorrow xxx
Everyone-  
afm- So I am officially bonkers! Now I KNOW, already it hasn't worked. I'm cramping, have this pressure kind of pain on my lower abdomen, I'm teary, my nipples are sore but rest of the booobs aren't +I have increased CM (tmi, I know). I feel FAT and tired. Typical af-symptoms. Yes, this is 2dp5dt, but they said 5 day blast should implant on around this time. What is implantation symptoms? Me?Symptom-spotting? Never!   aaaaaaarrrggghhh!
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## ma-me28

lynn, curly and kat  
maisie i hope your 2nd bid is successful hun
karen its lovely to hear from you hope your scan goes well tomorrow
Hanna stay positive its still really early days. xx x 
Honor hi im ok thanks not stimming yet start the 29th although as usual af is delaying putting in an appearance!!!! 
dee tomorrows nearly here, looking forward to hearing about the new arrival. x
big hugs to everyone else i have missed. xxxx

afm nearly 2 weeks down of d/r luckily no side effects at the minute, waiting on af start stimming a week today. x


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - with my two BFPs my symptoms were completely different - not sure that will help you at all. the first i got really clumsy and had really static hair - on the second (and good one) I felt like i'd been pumped up like a balloon and had pre period pains. keepng my fingers crossed for you that this will work for you!

Karen - good to hear from  you. Good luck with the stimming and the scan today.

Lynn -    it's the hormones my dear making you feel this way. I hope you got a good cuddle from dh this morning to make up for the lack of one last night. I hope you feel a bit better today.

Squirrel - i'm sure you don't really look like a turnip. I hope your clinic review has some positive answers for you. Don't feel bad about crying lots - you need to let the pain out!  

Curly - another   for you.

and a big   to everyone else - sorry to cut it short but just realised the time and must get on with some work - got another double glazing company coming round in a mo........


----------



## lynn1303

Hanna no cytologist for me. Clinic don't offer. I'm going crazy all by myself. 

Pooky. Hope u get ur windows sorted. 

Mame. Glad ur not having any side effects yet. I'm sure it'll come though. Roll on the witch. 

Honor I'm glad u e mailed friend. I think u did the right thing. Any reply yet? 

Karen how u doing babes? 

Curly how r things with dh? 

Dee. OMG. Good luck for today. 

Squirrel massive hugs. 

Kat what's ur plans for weekend? 

Mrs ixy how was ur follow up? 

Hi twinkle Carey hula Rachel bell all other buds. 

Afm. Well I'm still feeling crappy and down. Feel like I'm losing my mind. But I'm sure I'll get there. Xx


----------



## Big hat

Morning buds!!

Maisie - happy birthday  .  Here's hoping your offer gets accepted so that you can have a double celebration.  

Kat - you wise old bud, good to have you back  . Pooch walk did clear my head as there was an almost hurricane strength wind out there - I was so wrapped up that only my eyes were showing!

Rachel - thank you sweetie.  I hope DH gets his act together.  There is nothing worse than having everything organised and feeling that someone is sitting with all the 'control'  to make it happen but won't budge. Stick to your guns.  As the main carer, I'm assuming, you know how much you can handle and DH needs to trust and have faith in you, and himself!  

Lynn - feel for you sweetiepie  .  After reading your post I did mull over your DH's behaviour and men's in general.  I do think that as part of the 'birds and bees' chat for boys, at the time when they have their own hormone issues raging in their body, they should be helped to understand a bit more of the role hormones etc play in women's bodies.  Let's face it, once men are through puberty, and everything has dropped into place etc they don't have to think about cycles - a rush of blood is about it  . What they don't realise is the role hormones play in our lives EVERY month, and go through the roof in pregnancy.  Don't a lot of men say they didn't believe the pregnancy was real until they saw the first scan?  I explained my theory to DH last night, who looked at me with a mixture of bewilderment, amusement and ever so slight hurt..... , bless him. I'm sure your DH now realises the wrong he did, if not, best tell him. xx

Twinklie - hiya!

Karen - Am glad that you've come back for a chat, and understand why you also need your space  .  I hope your journey to Prague has gone ok - it's such a lovely place, and has a calm feel about it.  The endo scratching does seem to help in achieving higher success rates, from what others on this site say.  am   with all my might that you get a strong crop of embies (not too large a crop, and not too small, just right), and that you soon will be announcing to friends that you are pg, and btw, it was conceived in Prague dahlinks!    

Honor - pg seems to be suiting you  .  It seems that you are out of limbo and are really motivated. Well done for telling your friend.  At least it's out in the open now.

Hanna - I am going to pull out the big   before you even think about it  .  2dp5dt - are you mad  ? Your poor little embies have hardly had time to even look around their new home and settle in!x

Ma-me - makes a change - wishing for someone's af to arrive .....finger's crossed she appears soon and you can get stimming. x

Pooky - here's to you getting a realistic window quote, and not one where they've assessed how much they think you can pay and plucked a figure from the air!

Squirrel - thinking of you lovely.  

Gladys - Today is   day isn't it?  good luck!!!! xx

Afm: ladies thank you for you wise words and hugs.  Mini-meltdown sorted. However, the scales have said that I am now the fattest I've been for 2 years, and I decided a home pamper session was needed. Plucked my eyebrows instead of getting them threaded, and decided to go for the 'scousebrow' - on trend apparently.  I haven't got the thickest eyebrows but I do seem to have got a bit pluck happy and am now more Louise Brooks than Brooke Shields  . Maybe I should leave it to the professionals!  Another application done last night, and another to do today - why don't they have generic online forms - every one is different so not cut and pasting  , but each one done has to be one step closer to Serum, doesn't it....?  

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Big hat

Very quick one - I have an interview on Tuesday!!!  Wish me luck. xx


----------



## Nordickat

Curly - you are going to have to pluck a lot of eyebrow you shift the dial on the scales   . Ooooooh, fab news about the interview ...... next stop Serum ....... or new car   

Lynn - boys are not the sharpest tools in the box so when you need a hug you have to ask for it. Perception is not their strong point as a general rule  . I'm sorry he made you feel rubbish though and I hope he has made up for it now. You are not losing your marbles though but you are going through the hardest thing you'll ever do so give yourself some credit. Hang in there   

D - wishing mini-D a safe and speedy arrival into the world 

Hanna - be careful cutting your cyclogest in half - don't want you getting an infection.

Ma-ma - so exciting to start stimming again next week   

Honor - you are always sensitive so I'm sure you were this time too. After she has shed a silent tear over your BFP, I'm sure your friend will only feel positive about it. You got a natural miracle after all, that is going to fill her with hope.

 to squirrel, maisie and Karen

 to everyone else   

My weekend is going to be a bit fraught. My folks are coming and until DH called to say I was in hospital, they didn't know I was anything but happy and healthy. They deal with stuff by throwing money at it but I'm really scared they might actually try and talk to me this time   . Its not what we do and I'm getting myself into a real tizz about their visit. I just want them to offer money as usual, me to turn it down as usual, and then go home again. I'm going to feel I'm being watched like a hawk all the time for signs of madness . My Dad has already told me not to clear the ice in case I'm not up to it - its my mind that is broken not my back  . I hate fuss and I really really hate sympathy   . On a more amusing note though, I have driven my new shrink bonkers already   . Her English is rubbish so I'm loving throwing in the odd phrase 'going off the rails' was my favourite today


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

First up, *maisie*: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday lovely Bud, Happy Birthday to you ! They say life begins at 40, and so I'm confident that this is where it all starts going crazy for you: new house, new baby  !
Any news on your second offer?

*Hanna*: I *knew* you wouldn't be able to stay away for long !
How are you doing today? Hope you're having more of an up day than a down day . There is just unfortunately no way you can know the outcome yet. You won't be able to tell just what effects the Cyclogest is having, what's real, what's in your head, and even if you don't feel anything, that doesn't mean to say it's going to be bad news - a total head-messer !
Are you all set now for the big move back to Finland?

*ma-me*: Oh, so you're in need of an AF dance! 
       
Done ! Hope it works!

*Pooky*: Did you manage to get a better quote?

*Lynn*: Sorry you're still feeling crappy . Are you working over the weekend? Could you perhaps plan to do something extra special to treat yourself and help keep your mind off things?
Hope DH has been doing some making up to you ! I'm sure if he realises just how much you were in need of a hug the other night, he'll feel terrible about it .
Yes, my friend has replied - she sent me a lovely mail back and sounded genuinely pleased for us. I'm glad I mailed her. Now she knows and I don't need to mention it again, unless she wants to ask me anything/talk about it.

*Curly*:  on the interview! I'm sure you'll be amazing !
I'm also sure you're still one tall and slender lady! Sometimes the scales can lie, anyhow. According to ours, I'm one thing and according to the ones at the doctors, I'm 1/2 stone lighter!
I had my eyebrows threaded for the first time ever on Monday in Birmingham - made my eyes water ! 
I don't think pg suits me at all - perhaps it would help if I believed it was for real; what was it you were saying about men not believing it's real until they see the first scan ?!! I had to go to see a consultant at the antenatal clinic this morning, and if I thought Monday's venture into "Mothercare" was bad, it was nothing compared to sitting in a waiting room feeling like a total idiot among all the big bumps, big boobs and smug faces .

*Kat*: Hanna's right, it'd be a shame if you weren't part of the book after all we've been through together, and that is kind of the point of it - to show other women they don't have to be, and aren't, alone, how strong friendships can blossom from such hard and painful situations . Let me know though, what you want to do .
Sorry you're not looking forward to your weekend with your parents. Are they staying for just the actual weekend or a long weekend? Perhaps the best thing to do if you really don't want to talk to them about more personal and "deep" matters would be to organise a packed programme of things to do so that you tire them out and they don't get too much of a chance to question you?!
Glad you're having fun torturing your new shrink ! Are you claiming to speak no Norwegian at all so that she's forced to speak to you in English?

*Karen *: How did your scan go today? Hope everything's looking good for EC early next week !

*Dee* Any news ?!!

 to anyone I've missed.

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - I am doing it all in Norwegian but sneak in the odd English phrase to cheer myself up   . Its usually when she asks a question I don't want to answer. I did learn a new word today though: flippant is fleipete  .

Had a cunning plan re parentals: if I don't go and break the ice up, they will be stranded in the garden and unable to bother me anyway 

And, you are pregnant, and pregnant with a very special little one. A little one who is snuggling in tight as I type. Enjoy it. It was over too quickly last time so you have earned the right to enjoy every second of this little secret growing inside you   


Katxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Stanley Alexander was born at 9.22am weighing 7.4

All good, still feels surreal, very groggy do will post again soon x


----------



## Honor77

Wow, *Dee*! Was not expecting to see your post just now!

Welcome to the world, Stanley !

Rest well, and enjoy!

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Me again... 

Spoke to DH earlier. He had 1 phone interview yesterday, another today and has another tomorrow. The one from today said they may want to see him in person in the next few days, which realistically means next week, which definitely means he won't be coming home tomorrow . I wasn't too happy about this while on the phone to him - I mean, I understand it makes sense for him to stay on and know he's not doing it to be a pain or anything, but I want him here with me, or at least to know when I can expect him back . Was really upset when I got off the phone and although we can't afford it and I didn't want to travel far at this stage and am reluctant to leave the Ned  in a cattery, I'm thinking of going to see my parents for a week or so. Trains are extortionate but I'm hoping my parents will help me out. I could get an return ticket to come back anytime within a month and so I'll check with my parents this evening and in the meantime try to get through to the cattery to ask about Ned staying there.

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

congrats to Gladys , hope you are able to take baby Stanley home soon xx

Happy Birthday to Maisie.

Lynn, hana and honor   

Thanks Curly.

Hi to everyone else

afm been to clinic the dr. seemed pleased with the scan even though I have PCO, I am sure i have PCOS would explain the wieght gain. anyway have got to book dh for ssr and do bloods day1 and 5 and then follow up.  so as i thought not much further along.  I feel like taking a long holiday in the sun.  

Rachelx


----------



## Pookychops

D - congrats on the birth of young Stanley! Quite a big baby for you being so small   Enjoy and hope the grogginess goes soon

xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Congratulations Dee!

We had a crown princess born here in Sweden today, so little Stanley is in good company!


----------



## Honor77

Neddy booked into the cattery as of tomorrow night, train ticket bought for Saturday morning. Feel better now, was far too stressed out earlier...

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

happy birthday maisie
dee congrats on the safe arrival of stanley.x
honor thanks for the af dance hope it works in next couple of days.x 
hi and big hugs to everyone else.x


----------



## Hannushka

Dee-    Congrats Honey!! Very happy for you xx
Twinklie- I was just reading about Princess Victoria's and Daniel's new baby girl, literally 2 minutes ago!! We Finnish people LOVE the Swedish Royals because we don't have our own x
Rachel- Glad scan went well xx
Honor- Nice that you get to take a little trip too. Hope you have a nice break at parents. Think positive, if they want to see him face to face, it is a good thing, right? As long as he wears a matching pair of shoes   A friend of mine just posted on ** that' he'd been in a 4 hour business meeting with a client with an odd pair of shoes on. The client didn't dare tell him but texted him after the meeting    x
Kat-   at you winding up the psychiatrist with your English. Have you tried answering with a propa cockney slang?  
Maisie-     Hope you have an awesome one! xx
Curly- I was thinking exactly the same thing as Kat, you really have to pluck a good few hairs out to make any noticable difference on the scales   Firm steps towards Serum is the way to go xx
Lynn-Hope you are feeling better   . I've been rather weepy too. I just HATE this wait. AAARRGGHH
Ma-Me- It is so darn hard to feel positive when my head tells me 'I know my body, these are my normal af symptoms'  Hope dr is going well. Lucky lady if you're having no side effects! xx
Pooky- Thank you so much. I find this so darn hard!   Hope you are well xx
afm- Another miserable day behind with even stronger pre-af symptoms. I woke up 5am with that same pain in my left thigh which I normally get few hours before af comes. That pain never left, but af hasn't arrived...YET! I have done numerous loo-runs to check but nothing. I'm so sure this has failed I just want AF to spare me from this misery and just COME!   I also had abdominal pains and a similar pains down my right arm as I was getting on my left thigh... You must think I'm crazy but I read it's a common symptom for people with endo... I sit here, hardly able to breath, so scared to go to the loo because I just know it is going to crush me, sooner or later... Sorry of this negative post, it is what it is...  
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

Thanks for all your lovely b'day messages, but it's not til tomorrow   thank you anyway xxxxx had rubbish day , not long home. Working tomorrow and out for family meal tomorrow. Mini mais been on drugs a week now, not much change yet...second offer was rejected and price suggested we can't afford . I've told them so and said we will think things through.. Now sit back and see what happens... Can't think b'day, party, house, cat, weekend guests etc...  

Dee - congratulations !!!!!!! Love the name. Well done you xx  

Kat - I know what you mean re parents. Will it not help to let them in? I don't just mean literally through the ice !   maybe it will be one less secret , one thing off your mind and let them make a fuss. Sometimes it can be a good thing ??   xxxxx

Hanna - be strong     it's not happened xxxxx

Honor - good for you re going to see your mum and dad. Hope you have a good break x 

Curly - waaaahoooo re job Interview  I have another ff who is going to serum. We should chat. I'm intrigued . Xx 

 all other buds. I'm pooped. Last day of my 30's . It's quite depressing !


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello darlings,

Dee- welcome welcome welcome to your new baby boy Stanley! Huge congrats and hope all doing well your end xx

Maisiemoo - many happy returns on your birthday! I know youve been worried about it and I very much hope that your worries are unfounded and you realise that it is one more day. I want to wish you all the very best and may your coming years bring you all you deserve and wish for. Loads of smiles for you and hope your friends show you how much you mean to them   xx

Kat - i hope your parents go against their usual default position and show you the love and support you deserve. If all else fails, chuck em in a snow drift! Or set pupster on them! Keep your psychologist on her toes, and flummox her with wonderful crazy english terms as much as you feel like! Sending hugs and strength to deal with whatever happens whilst your folks there. Remember they love you unconditionally. Just like pupster, dh, and of course us! Xx

Karen - glad to see you on here, and as usual have copied down your quote at the end to recycle in the future! Do what you need to do to focus and get through the horrors of fighting an ivf battle. I have every faith that you will nail this. Have trust in your new clinic. Grow follies grow! Here for you anytime. Dont underestimate your inner strength and ability to face this. Hugs xx

Curly - yay for your interview next week! Good luck! I want to highlight and admire your patience and focus to move towards your dream at Serum. Youre a genuine star and i love your posts. As you say - everything you do is fairy steps towards your dream. You will be rewarded my friend! Xx

Lynn - angel - let your emotions out and remember it is the evil hormone demons messing with you. Face em head on, tell them they wont beat you. Lean on us and explain to dh that all you need right now is hugs and cuddles and to be told how brave you are facing all of this. Give him my number and tell him to ring me so i can explain! You can do this. I know it! One day at a time, big hugs xx

Honor - glad to hear you are feeling more calm - so sorry this has been so stressful for you. You ARE pregnant, your dh WILL be home soon, hopefully with a fab job offer! It will be ok my lovely! Til then, breathe, cuddle Ned, lean on us and believe this can be your time xx

Pooky - how you doing hon? Thank you for all of your support and glad you are doing well and that the double glazing quotes are coming in! Need to keep you and your cargo warm! Xx

Ma me - goo luck for this cycle! Day at a time, eye on the prize at the end of this! Xx

Rachel - glad scan went well, onwards and upwards... Xx

Twinklie - hope all god your end xx

Hanna - you poor thing. I diagnose a bad case of irrational symptom spotting! Treatment wise I recommend deep breaths, chocolate, cuddles with dh and good ranting on here to let it all out. I forbid rabid knicker checking! Day at a time, rest up, what is done is done and nothing you can do will change the outcome. Sending hugs, positive vibes and just remember one of karens gems - there is nothing in a caterpillar that makes you think it will turn into a butterfly. This could still be your time. Hope so, you deserve it xx

Right - huge grateful thanks for all the support, hugs and lovely thoughts. Quick update - sore, bleeding lots ( sorry tmi...) and look very heroin chic with all these flipping blood tests. Hcg still not come down enough so more bloods next week. Clinic contacting us tomorrow. Me? Ranging from empty and sad, to gorging on comfort food then feeling guilty. Then mad feelings about throwing ourselves back in asap so I dont have time to dwell. Tired of hurting ad trying. Have to though...phew. Holding it together more though. Love you all for letting me vent. And very excited to be your very own online vet! Yay! Obviously mates rates on the charging front. Ha ha! Anytime ladies, am here xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ok ladies - I think it's time we put our invention hats on. We need a device that we can put in our pants and that will notify us by text, email or via a colour changing bangle if there is blood in our knickers. That would save us hours running to loo and checking. 

I wanted to dive into a hedge the other day and check on way to station as I felt a gush. Had to wait 40 mins before I could check all was ok. If I had a device I could have saved on all that stressing! 

Latest double glazing quote - £6800 -we like    I think he's based in Hertford if u need some when u get a place. He's got a 01992 area code. He did our neighbours place


----------



## Big hat

Hello Stanley Alexander - welcome to the world!!!!  Gladys good to hear you're ok.  Look forward to updates about your gorgeous little boy. xx

Hanna and Kat - you pair of cheeky tarts  !!!!!

Kat, I wonder in what context you learnt fleipete from your Dr??   If your parents are anything like mine I think you just have to accept that at some point their opinion will be made known......

Hanna - what was that about symptom spotting?  Don't give up sweetie, there's quite a few days to go yet, and no symptom is cast iron anyway. x 

Honor - I want the address of your Dr with the amazing scales!  Good on you for booking to go visit your parents - a bit of tlc never goes amiss. FX for DH - it will be worth it. xx

Maisie - leave all decisions to next week - after all isn't life supposed to begin at 40   ?  Pm me any time re: Serum.  x

Rachel - did you know about PCOS before or is this new? Keep driving on lovely, and DH will follow when all excuses are gone and he has no choice.. . x

Squirrel - bless you, you made me fill up.  Sorry it's all so awful at the moment - the painful bleeding is just like some final cruel joke being played on you for the hell of it isn't it.  What is the thinking about your HCG levels not dropping (am I being really thick here)?   You know we are all here for the vent, and the mirth, and the sometimes sheer ludicrous.  While I have your attention our pooch has this little problem........ . Take care sweetie.

Karen - like Squirrel I've made a note of your quote - it's written on my make-up mirror in eyeline pencil to remind me (and distract from my eyebrows  ).

Pooky - like your bangle idea - but would that mean we'd be like the woman in the Tenna lady advert (those of you not living in England, don't worry, it's awful)  .  Good news on the window quote - what a snug and quiet house you will have, although 2 babies  ....

Hi all other buds.

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Carey

Evening buds,

Not had a chance to post this week but have been reading  

A BIG congrats to Dee on the arrival of baby Stanley, Hope your both home safely soon xxxx

Maisie -  for tomorrow Hun, hope you have a lovely day xxx

Squirrel - Sending you lots of   xxx

Hanna -  its good news for OTD Stay   Hun xxx

Honnor - I hope you have a good break staying with your mum & dad. I'm sure Ned will be just fine in the cattery xxx

Karen - i hope your scan went well today xxxx

Lynn - sending you BIG hugs Hun   xxx

Kat - Hiya   xxx

Curlyone - Hope your OK   xxx

Twinklie - How are you? xxx

Pooky - Good idea about the invention, would save a lot of worry xxx

Ma-me - Hope AF arrives soon Hun & you can start next stage xxx

Rachel - Hiya  

Sorry to those Ive missed, sending you all lots of love xxxxxx  

AFM - 3 weeks today until my EDD   Got to go see my consultant on Tuesday for a scan & a chat to see if I'm going to be induced or have a c-sec. Baby was head down last week but has turned again so its all abit up & down to what is going to happen. Please send   to me as i so want everything to go OK. DH is home tomorrow from Birmingham, cant wait to see him, missed him lots this week.
Its been really warm here today 17 & nice & sunny, i did do abit of gardening & managed to do 3 loads of washing   Its lovely not o be at work anymore    

Sweet dreams Buds xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello buds,

How are you all? Thanks for the kind words.

Kat- I can't believe the vet said that to you. That is unthinkable! I don't have a dog (not likely to get one any time soon as DH is scared of them), but we used to as a family and we all adored him...I could not even fathom being told that. Good job your lovely pooch could not understand! How is he at the moment? I am glad to hear you are winding up your shrink with English idiom! Hope your visit with your folks is not too stressful.

Honor - I think you did the right thing telling your friend. I would have wanted to know too. I am really glad your friend emailed back as well. It must be so hard waiting for your DH to return, but it's really god that he's getting all these interviews. He must be impressing people. Where do your folks live?

Maisie - Happy birthday for tomorrow!! Sit tight on the offer and you never know...the vendors might not get any other offers and they might cave in. And if they don't it means there's a better house out there for you. I do really believe in things like that, having searched ages and ages before finding the house we currently live in. Which is in a total state of never-going-to-be-finishedness as we plough everything we've got into tx!

Curly - I really empathise with your feelings about your friend. And the fact that people seem to be popping them out everywhere. Makes you feel really isolated, doesn't it? It's really good to hear you're cracking on with the applications. I am sure something will come of all this effort soon. AH, just read your next post - interview! Excellent! Good luck.

Rachel - it's so frustrating sometimes with all the waiting isn't it? Is your DH going to have his SSR before you cycle? Probably a stupid question. My DH is having that too, his second time, but it will be on the day of egg collection for me.

Lynn - aw, you poor thing. Hope you feel better soon. I think the combination of the hormones and the stress of tx just make it all so hard emotionally -harder than it is physically. I bet your DH did not mean to upset you. I just think men are from a totally different planet sometimes. I would have felt rejected too.

Karen - it is really lovely to see you again on the thread. I have heard about the scratching thing and hope it works for you. The bloating has got to be a good sign. I really hope your scan went well today. And I am totally in the same frame of mind as you wondering why it comes so easy for some people. Have been seriously thinking about jacking in my ******** profile as I just can't stand hearing about it. There's 2 girls I used to work with about 3 years ago, one has just popped out her second and the other is pregnant and they're both younger than me. We were trying when they got pregnant the first time around and here we are, still trying...

Hanna - I had cramping around that time when I got my BFP. Even though it wasn't to be that time I think I kind of knew I was pregnant, just like I knew I wasn't this time around. Everything crossed for you. You'll drive yourself mad trying to analyse all the symptoms - I know you can't help it (me neither) but still...hope you have more of an up day tomorrow.

ma-me - REALLY good luck to you on this 3rd attempt. Great you're not having symptoms from the d/r.

Pooky - how are you? Hope you are doing OK. I think you should pitch your idea in Dragons' Den!

D  - oh wow! Congrats lady!!! Stanley, what a cool name. 

Squirrel - I have been thinking about you. Let us know what the clinic says tomorrow. I know what you mean about maybe wanting to throw yourselves straight back in, although do give yourselves time to heal as well. I'm a total hypocrite saying this as we are throwing ourselves straight back in as well!

Carey - nice to hear from you and hope you are OK. Not long now!

AFM - we had our review yesterday. The consultant said that because I had got pregnant on the first attempt, he would not do anything differently for our third cycle (I can't believe I just typed 'third cycle'). He told me about things like steroids, heparin and hysteroscopy, but said that right now, he would not recommend that for me - just to continue with my healthy eating, no caffeine (well, a bit of chocolate now and then!), no booze, and acupuncture. I said about bleeding early and that I would prefer injections next time instead of pessaries and he said that would be ok. He said he didn't think the pessaries were the reason I bled early. He said he thinks we are all doing everything we can, so we just have to hope that the third attempt is the lucky one. 

Anyway, he have us the go-ahead to start again as soon as we wanted so we will do a short protocol cycle on my next period. My DH will have SSR on the day of EC, so if this cycle fails it will be our last for 6 months (as he has to wait 6 months between each one because it affects testosterone levels). But maybe we won't need another - here's hoping....talking of which (rambling here) I was thinking...if we were lucky enough to have a baby through IVF I just don't know if I could put myself through it again to give them a sibling. Anyone else had thoughts like that? I suppose you never say never and even assuming we might get one feels a bit presumptious!

My period has been really weird this week. Sorry if TMI but has this ever happened to any of you? It stopped on Sunday, and then a day and a half later I was bleeding - only a little - on Monday night. Then nothing Tuesday - then again, at about the same time (6ish), bleeding again. Then nothing Wednesday or today and I thought all that nonsense was over and then again I bled tonight! bit worried as this has never happened before. Suddenly started to think about how unnatural IVF is and hope I am not doing myself any harm.

Hope you all have good Fridays... xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie   

Stanley - welcome to the world   

Curly    sorry, I couldn't resist. Fleipete is my middle name ...... when its not obtuse, sarcastic, evasive etc   

Honor - I'm glad you got your trip sorted out. Company is what you need right now I think.

Hanna    Its too early to tell anything yet 

MrsIxy - I'm glad your clinic are allowing injections even if they don't feel its necessary. 3rd time lucky it is then   

Squirrel - be brave today   

Karen - I hope all was well inside yesterday

I realise I've missed loads of you after your mammoth posting evening but I have a meeting to go to and still have to pop out for a double latte, although might have to make it a triple ...... too much vino last night. I let my folks in in the end, mainly because they brought duty free   . 

Have nice weekends, Katxxx


----------



## Nordickat

squirrel - I forgot to ask if you can edit your post to remove pupsters name for me please? Thanks - makes me a bit too easy to identify otherwise. Clearly I am a crazed paranoid but probably best to humour me


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Earnings aside, it's a good job Fridays are usually quite quiet for work with all the catching up I need to do on here from last night !

*rachel*: Great news on your scan looking promising . That's you 1 hurdle down now, and hopefully you're set to fly smoothly and gracefully over the next few. Do you think you'll be able to get an appointment fairly soon for your DH's SSR?
The holiday in the sun may not be such a bad idea, either before tx or during your 2ww .

*Twinklie*: How are things with you ?

*Hanna*: Hope you got my text last night and that you're feeling a better about things today .
Thanks for the funny shoe story !

*maisie*: Happy actual birthday ! Hope work is less of a nightmare today... surely they HAVE to go easy on you today of all days?! Have a lovely birthday meal this evening !
Sorry your 2nd offer was rejected... I hope they come to their senses and accept it in the end or you find an even better house to be your new home .

*squirrel*: No need to thank us - we're gladly here for you, just wish you weren't having to go through this . I remember all too well the cruelness of the bleeding and physical pain, but there will be an end to that. It's the emotional heartache that's harder to get over, so continue to lean on us and vent, and be kind to yourself. Hope your Hcg levels go down properly and that you have a productive chat with your clinic today. Don't let them pressure you into anything, just do what feels right to you. 
Thanks for your kind and wise words! They meant a lot - both in terms of friendship and making me see the bigger picture again .

*Pooky*: I'll willingly be a guinea pig for your invention ! Glad your "gush" turned out to be nothing to worry about .

*Curly*: I echo *squirrel*: love your posts, always so calming and uplifting . A star *Bud* !

*Carey*: Wow! You're up next ! And so soon! How are you feeling? Hope your little one can wait until Friday to enter the world - they'll be assured the best possible birthday date then . Oh, did I mention, it's my birthday on Friday !
 for your scan + chat Tuesday!
Enjoy having your DH back, and your last few days as 2!

*mrs_ixy*: Another calm, patient and focused *Bud* .
Sorry the  has been playing up. No doubt she's confused after your last cycle - serves her right . Keeping everything crossed that this is her last visit for a long time! It sounds like you're doing everything right and are on the right track for that BFP; here's hoping luck is on your side this time .
As for siblings... I have to admit, I haven't thought that far ahead. I always thought I'd be thrilled to have just the one child, so not necessarily all that fussed about having a second, but I know from reading posts by other FFers that it's not necessarily all that clear cut. There's no reason why you wouldn't desire a second child, after all, people who conceive easily/naturally more often than not go on to have more than one, so why shouldn't we also end up wanting the same? We deserve it just as much.

*Nordickat*: Hope your weekend goes ok .

*Lynn*: How are you today ? I know you might not feel up to it, but I'll be in Carlisle probably until next weekend, if you fancied a trip over. I'll be busy doing birthday stuff Friday but am otherwise free (apart from work, but that's boring ).

 and  to everyone else!

*AFM*: Feeling much better since arranging to go away. Just feeling guilty about leaving Neddy... I let him sleep upstairs with me last night and plan to spend quality time with him at lunchtime.

xxx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,
Most important posts first:

Happy Happy Happy Birthday *Maisiemoo*. May the following year be full of wonderful surprises and fulfill many dreams. Love and birthday hugs to you.   
*
Dee *-   Huge congrats to you and the birth of your precious, miracle Stanley. I'm so happy to hear your news. Rest up and hope you feel well. Love and hugs to you and your little prince.


----------



## Karen_S

Hi again all,
Now to get down to other business:

*Kat* - thanks for your 'chat' on Skype this morning. I feel a little less nervous about things now. I hope your family weekend goes well too. Have fun at the cabin and please knock back as many red wines as you can for me. 

*Honor *- sounds great that you going away. When is it? and don't worry about Ned, he'll be fine, especially after the induglence of sleeping upstairs. Have a wonderful weekend and thanks for your kind thoughts. 

*Mrs Ixy* -I was so sorry to read about your BFP. You sound like you're getting through it OK, and I hope that you keep feeling positive. All fingers and toes are crossed for you for your next tx cycle. Short protocol will be a breeze. About the irregular bleeding - I've had many strange visits from AF throughout this whole process. I start bleeding then stop, then start again. Your body is just not sure what's going on and it will settle down -especially the first period after a BFN. However, if in doubt, better call the clinic to be sure. As for siblings, if I can be blessed with one, I'll be over the moon. Not sure how may times I can go through this. But you just never know what you are capable of if you want something bad enough.   BTW- stay away from ********. It's evil and never achieves anything more but to make us cry.

*Carey *- as per your request: here's is lots of                                             . Good luck.

*Pooky *- like the idea of the panty-notification device. Let me know if you ver work that one out! I'm glad to hear that your "gush" fear was nothing to worry about. Thanks for your support and thoughts too. Please rub your belly and then rub the screen when you next post. I need all the help I can get.  

*Curlyone *- glad you liked my last quote and I hope that the copy you wrote on the mirror eases the eyebrow crisis. I hope all your applications go well, one of them will be THE ONE. Just believe. As for the weight gain - stay away from scales, they are evil. I hate to think what's been happening to my backside and hips of late. It's NOT good. Maybe try another pamper session - a massage or facial - but best get the professionals to do it this time. Much more relaxing that way anyway.  

*Squirrel *- sorry to hear you are still going through such drama with the blood tests. What does it all mean that the HCG has not gone down? I'm very ignorant of anything past ET, but is there any chance of good news? GO ahead and eat all the comfort food you want, NOw is no time to worry about diets. You need to do whatever is going to make you feel happy. If you feel like a chat, you know where to find me.  

*Maisie *- for a second time - Happy Birthday and I hope you have a fabulous day. How's the house-hunting going? Any luck with new offers on the place you like? Keep us posted.

*Hanna *- Wow- have I missed out of new lately. Scrolling through I see you're on the 2WW. Way to go, PUPO lady! Good luck with it. What fantastic luck that you have this chance. I'll be keeping fingers crossed for you.     When is the big move to Finland? or are you there already? I'm soooooooo far behind in the news....

*ma-me* - how are you doing? what stage are you at? Hope everything is going well, cycle-buddy.  

*Twinklie *- I hope the news of your little one's birth will be every bit as huge and exciting as the "other' one in Sweden this week. TO be honest, I'm far happier about your pg than that other one anyway - I bet they didn't have to go through half of what we have.....oops - was that a little too bitter and twisted?  

*Rachael *- if a real holiday in the sun isn't possible, then just invent one - try turning the heating right up, invent a new cocktail, put on some shorts and t-shirt then drink the cocktail on a beach towel on your living room floor listening to some tropical music. Just close your eyes and imagine....... good luck with the progress of your next tx. Hang in there.  

*Lynn *- I hope you're feeling a little better today. How are things going? Thinking of you and hope that all goes well.  

to all other Buds - hope you are well, and I send you ALL loads of xxx and ooo for your wonderful support.

*AFM *- I had what was possibly the single best and worst day EVER of any IVF treatment so far.
Let me get the bad part over with first: (sorry if it's TMI - but this is how it unfolded...)
So, I decided to get the endometrium scratchie-thingy done. Good idea to help the embies implant later. However, not having it done during EC meant no general anaesthetic, and instead I neede a whole range of drugs to relax the muscles and minimise pain. I had to shove 2 giant suppositories up my "back door", swallow some pink tablet, have some IV drug and have a massive injection in my backside. One, or all of them combined, caused me to react to violently I started shaking and then blacked out. DH was panicked and the nurses had never seen anything like it. My simple little procedure turned into a nightmare. I then felt nauseous the entire time and then had to inject more stuff into my IV so I wouldn't throw-up during the procedure. The actual scratching took only about 10 minutes and felt a bit like period pain, but that was the easy part. After they took me back to a normal bed I passed out again from all the drugs, then poor DH had to hold my hair back and hold a rubbish bin by the bed as I barfed for longer than the actual procedure took. It was a living hell. 
After an hour sleep we all thought it was OK for me to go,and I was feeling better, but as soon as we got back into the car to drive home, the nausea started again. It was a 2-hour drive back to Dresden, and felt like an eternity, I threw-up the whole way. To top it all off, half way back we had to stop in the middle of nowhere for me to take my 2 jabs. We stopped in this little village and goodness only know what that locals thought of the black german car stopped in the mud, under the only street light in the town where some man was mixing up some concoction and a pathetic looking white-as-a-ghost woman was injecting it into her belly. It would have been laughable had I not then had to throw-up again almost all over DH out the car door. "Just shoot me" was all I could think.
Anyway - we made it home 'alive" (but barely) and I fell asleep immediately.

Now for the good news - in amongst all the drama at the clinic yesterday they found_* 8-9*_ follicles. This, for me, is a world record! I cannot believe it! EC is scheduled for Wednesday next week, but we want to speak to them again today to be absolutely sure this isn't too late. I'm terrified of ovulating early. However, all looking good so far.
Let's just hope that yesterday was the worst of it adn it will only be onward and upward from here.

Well, after that marathon post, I'll leave you all to get back to whatever you need to be doing.
Have a fabulous weekend all and I'll post again soon.



_*"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."*_


----------



## Wraakgodin

Nordickat said:


> squirrel - I forgot to ask if you can edit your post to remove pupsters name for me please? Thanks - makes me a bit too easy to identify otherwise. Clearly I am a crazed paranoid but probably best to humour me


Hi Nordickat!! I am temporarily modding this thread for a week, I have changed Squirrel's post for you, replaced the name with "pupster". Is that ok?

As you said, better to be safe than sorry.

Sue


----------



## rachel1972

hi everyone 
take 2 just lost post.
Karen hope you are feeling better today , that sounds very scary, you still are funny with you descipt of shooting up in car.  great news on the folicles  
Squirrel   
honor have a great break with your parents.  
hana I was convinced i was going to have af when i was pg so i wouldnt say the symtoms are any differnt.  
Curly i didnt know i had pco before yesterday but it explains my ohss but now have to see if it is pcos i think it is.
Carey good luck with your delivery plans.
Mrs ixy my dh will have it done before my cycle , just in case there isnt anything there.
Hi to everyone else hope you all have good weekend.
Rachel xx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi all

Just a quickie from me this evening.
Dee - congratulations on the arrival of Stanley,thats such great news. Hope you are all doing well. It gives us all hope on here.
Maisie - Happy Birthday - hope you have a great time and a fab party tomorrow. Remember life begins at 40!

Hope you are all well, will post over the weekend  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there.
Honor- I got your msg thanks, didn't manage to top my phone up all day to reply but thank you so much! It really helped. Though I have spent the whole day running back and forth to toilets... Am conVINCED af will arrive tomorrow am.
Karen- OMG! What an ordeal!   But great news on the follies!!   
everyone-  
afm- This.is.driving.me.insane. I woke up again 5am with serious pain down my leg, pain disappeared once I got up and I almost started to thing I was getting these pains because of the draft from a dodgy window, but no, by the time I got to work, the pain was down both of my legs, lower back, low abdomen and my right arm. I have spent the whole day running to toilets, I even put a pad on by noon as I was sure I saw red in the toilet paper. Not sure if I imagined it cause after seeing it at 11am, I never saw red again. When I wasn't in the toilet, Iwas phasing around the shop floor praying  
Now I'm home and most of the pain has subsided apart from a dull feeling in left thigh and sort of 'wet feeling' down below (tmi   ) I'm afraid to get up from this chair though...
   
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## 1972

Hey buds

Just a real quickie as I've had such a hectic day..


Thanks for all the b'day messages 

Karen -   your description did make me  . I hope you ok now honey xxxxxxxx

Kat -   thank you so much for your card. Hope you got my emai, you are too kind xxxxxxx

Hanna -     xxxx

Lynn -     xxxxx

Hi remaining buds.  Xxxxxxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Just popped into say thanks for wishes and Happy Birthday Maisie moo enjoy and embrace.

Hugs and positive vibes to all of you.

I  am going home today and can't be a minute sooner as an an emotional basket case at mo as sleep deprived and in do much pain I this 90 degree hot house, I feel
Like I go when I have a claustrophobia attack on a plane, I then normally have Diazepam.

I will post again when returned to normal

Love to you all

Dxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

I have tested this morning as after googling, most ladies got their bfp on 5dp5dt. Mine is BFN so I shall now recline to the fact rather than go mad with the symptom spotting. Upwards and onwards, off to work I go.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## 1972

Good luck going home dee. Things will feel so much better in your own surroundings xxxxxx

Hanna - I don't know much about fet but it feels too early  When's your official OTD? Xx


----------



## Big hat

Morning ladies (well, just)....

Carey - 3ww to EDD!!! Sorry baby is not deciding on a  position and staying there.  Hopefully, in the final countdown he/she will make up their mind and settle down where you need them to be! Good news on DH being home so you can at least have some cuddles   . xx

Mrs Ixy - It's such good news that you are getting going again.  Did your Dr give any clues why the other 2 treatments didn't work? Is there anything he can do differently for you, have a quick look see to check everything is alright in there, to give you piece of mind?

Kat - good on you for letting folks in.  Hope all is going well, or your face isn't showing it if  not  ......

Honor - hope you are enjoying your time away.

Karen - I had my hand over my mouth and didn't breathe reading you post (I was under GA when I had my hysto procedure).  You are one brave lady! Have they given you any idea what it was you reacted to, so that you can make sure you're never given it again? I bet a few people put down the vodka bottle when they saw the shenanigans going on in your car  . Fantastic news on your 8-9  follies - that must give you so much hope. I'm over the moon for you and sending lots of        .x

Wraakgodin - like your signature  

Rachel - So, are they able to say whether you had PCOS on your previous treatments? If so, how can they have missed it?  

Hanna - hiya.  Now, if memory serves re: 3d and 5d transfers 5dp5dt means that the morula is only embedding itself today, and then will start releasing hcg once it's in and settled.  I think you may have tested too early  -    .  Maybe give yourself a few more days  . x

Maisie - hiya birthday weekend girl. x

Gladys - good to have you back, home all safe and tucked up with baby Stanley.  

Squirrel - thinking of you  . x

HI all other buds.

have a good weekend all.

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna - that is very early, probably the earliest you could get a BFP. I don't think it's that common to see two lines so early, but of course I understand how you feel - I would be the same (and have been several times...) You really need to wait until OTD. Please also keep in mind that frozen embryos are sometimes a bit slower off the mark, which is why a lot of clinics actually have their OTDs for FET a day or two later than for fresh. I'm not making this up!!   

Karen - great news on follies, everything crossed for you!!!


----------



## ma-me28

karen fab news on your follies sounded like you had an ordeal though, im good thanks still d/r af has finally arrived so start stimming weds.x
gladys great news on being able to go home.x
carey hope baby starts to behave for you, not long to go.
hanna dont give up hope yet, with our first cycle when we got our bfp we had 5dt and and a couple of days before otd the line was barely noticeable. x 
honor hope you are having nice break.
big hugs to everyone else.x


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi all,

Kat - so sorry bout blabbing pupsters name, feel like a tit. So sorry . Hope red wine and cabin helping your weekend go smoothyl, and wishing that all goes well or at least better than you thought with parentals. Lots of love xx

Wraakgodin - thank you for sorting out my mistakes!! Xx

Hanna - silly! Naughty! Too early to test honey, surely?? When is OTD? Keep strong xx

Karen - woooooo hooooooooo 8-9 follicles is amazing. Heart in mouth reading your hideous experience - you poor thing. Thinking of you and hope you are now looking forward to EC in a funny sort of way, because this may well be good news. Cautiously optimistic I would call it   xx

Maisiemoo - happy birthday again and hope party rocks xx

Dee - enjoy! Xx

Carey - good luck and happy vobes for you xx

Twinklie - hi hon xx

Mrs Ixy - glad clinic review went well and you are sounding positive and strong! You go girl xx

Curly -   xx

Ma me - hope all going well xx

Rachel - keep us posted and hope all going according to plan xx

Lynn - hope you are hanging in there matey   xx

Honor -   xx

Everyone - hope this weekend is going well wherever you may be xx

AFM - clinic review postponed to next week.  Tired. Coz I got a positive, they have to prove it reaches negative on the bloods, so it is taking time for levels to fall. If I wee'd on a stick now, it would prob still say pregnant, but am not really...so more bloods tuesday, hopefully negative then, as starting to get fed up, hate needles anyway and want closure. Started out with a group of girls on a different thread and I am the only one still failing. That hurts so much. Awesome. Time for more comfort eating. May as well be fat too, something else to complain about! Grrrrrr xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Carey

Hi buds. 
I hope ur all ok, just wanted to update u ad didn't want u to think id vanished.
I'm in hospital, went in last night. With lack of movement they've kept me in for monitoring.
Baby id still not in one position & they are worried about that. Seeing doctor in morn so will know more then. Really sad as DH is home for 2 days but we aren't able to spend time with each other only at vis hours, which is now over  

Sending u all lots of love xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Carey   at least you're in the best place for your baby and that's what matters most now. Are you on a ward? Did dh leave you with ear plugs? Fingers crossed that all will be well and you can keep the bàby in there for a bit longer.

Squirrel - its good that they are doing blood tests. I just got told to pee on a stick again one or two weeks later just confirm that it had all gone wrong. It seemed very pointless to me at the time and I was very annoyed at having to go and buy more pregnancy tests when it was obvious that I wasn't pregnant anymore and that it was just dragging it out.  

Just look at it as one more test and that's it then. You can then get the closure you want for this. You've one really well this cycle and you've proved that you can get pregnant so please keep hold of that. Big hug to you  

Karen - oh dear! Not a good reaction to drugs. But   on the number of follicles! Well done. Keeping everything crossed for ec for you. Drug prices should be dropping again in Czech at the moment so I hope you're not having to fork out too much for them.

Kat - hope you're surviving your parents!

Honor - hope your mum is spoiling you!

Hanna - step away from those pee sticks!

Hello to everyone else


----------



## Hannushka

Carey-  Hope you and baby are ok, I am     for you xxxxxxxxxx
Everyone-  
afm- Sorry lack of personals, I'm off shopping now for an outfit for my leaving drinks... AF hasn't arrived yet, my pains stopped immediately after I got my BFN on the test yesterday, was like a ton of weight off my shoulders, though today the pain is back, lower back killing me and the same dull pain in lower abdomen. AF due tomorrow so really not holding much hope. I won't be peeing on any more sticks, only if af doesn't arrive, but it will, I know it. I KNOW it. which is why I am now getting on with my move, planning my leaving drinks, by wednesday I know anyhows whether I am officially allowed to get completely doolally with   . 
Right, I'm off.  Will catch up with personals later 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## squirrel2010

Carey - keep us posted and hope you are ok xx
Hanna - good call on distractions and planning, but still hope your news changes and the witch stays away xx
Pooky - thanks so much for your post, need reminding that there is a positive aspect to this disasterous cycle, much much appreciated.

Everyone - happy sunday. Is it wrong to still be in pyjamas and to have eaten chocolate for breakfast for the third consecutive day? Xx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

I've written a great long post and bloody lost it .. 

In a nutshell....
 Carey
Hanna
 squirrel 
Hello to  

Hi to everyone else.

Had fab party, stressful, worried about everyone having good time, I'm a rubbish person to have a Party but it went well. I was thoroughly spoilt, got some amazing presents but now on a hungover downer as the one thing I'd dreamed I'd have by now , I don't  
X


----------



## rachel1972

Squirrel , hanna, carey and maise


----------



## Hannushka

Hey, it's me again...
After a nice day shopping and having my hair done, af has lifted her head and is showing me no mercy. It truly is game over for me now.
Onwards and upwards, planning my leaving do's now, getting ready for move, anything to prevent me from stopping and dwelling on it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna

p.s


----------



## Twinklie

Oh Hanna, I'm so sorry... I really thought you'd be reporting your BFP by now. It's so frustrating when it doesn't work even though everything looks perfect. Take care of yourself now.     
(And don't forget to test on otd just in case.)


----------



## ma-me28

hanna   am so sorry hun.x


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - I'm so so sorry     . I hope this marks the end of the rubbish times for you and that moving back home is the start of something wonderful   

Curly - lots of luck tomorrow  

Maisie - I hope your birthday was lovely and that your week ahead is relaxing  

Sorry I'm not well enough to read through the thread so just a couple of messages but   to the rest of you.


----------



## 1972

Morning buds.

So sorry to hear that Hanna  . Fresh start, back home , happy times - who knows what it may bring.   enjoy your last few days at work xxxxxxx

Hi Kat.   sending you hugs and wishing you well  

So.. Party was a success I think... I had fun in the end but bit like after wedding big crash after. I only had the party to fill my time and as a distraction. It worked but now it's over I have to start thinking re final round .. What to do, I have no idea.. I'm off work this week, such a nice feeling


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Such a lot to catch up on! I've been following on my phone but didn't log on to the computer all weekend. Not really enough time to post personals and so I hope I manage to catch up with the main ones:

*Karen*: What a nightmare ! So glad you got through your ordeal in the end and hope that you are storing up that particular story for your future child! I'm sorry I can't remember exactly when you said you thought EC would be - Tuesday or Wednesday? - but congratulations on your impressive crop of follies and am sending you lots of  and  for EC and ET .

*Kat*: Hope you survived the weekend with your parents. Sorry you're not doing very well... Take care .

*Hanna*:  - I was SO sure everything was going to work out well for you this time. I absolutely detest all that "perhaps it wasn't the right time" lark, but perhaps your baby _is_ being stubborn and refusing to be conceived or born in the UK! Hope the  isn't being too evil physically and that you are doing as well as can be expected... When is your last day at work, Wednesday?

*Carey*: Any news?! Sorry things aren't going as smoothly as you'd like... Hope baby makes in his or her appearance soon and that everything goes well in the end .

*Dee*: Hope you're settling in well at home to your new family life as 3 .

*Squirrel*: How are you doing? Are you back at work? I hope you're taking as much time as you need to pick yourself back up again, and that Colin is providing lots of kitty kisses and cuddles .

*maisie*: Glad you enjoyed your party . My advice for this week would be to do what the hell you like and worry about everything else later. I know decisions on more tx are going to be tough to make, so try not to put yourself under any unnecessary pressure this week when you've had such a hard time at work lately .

*Lynn*: Any news from you? Hope you're doing ok and things are looking good .

I'm sure I've probably missed someone or something... sorry if I have done!

*AFM*: Am really glad I decided to come and stay with my parents. I had a lovely weekend and now it's back to work, but at least I'm not just on my own for the rest of the week and will be having some nice breaks from work to meet up with friends . Missing Ned and hoping he's ok...

Hope everyone's week gets off to a good start !

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

Just wanted to say hanna really sorry its not worked , be kind to yourself. xxx


love to everyone else.xx


----------



## Big hat

HI buds,

Carey - any news?   all is well. xx

Squirrel - it is absolutely derigeur to be still in your pj's and eating chocolate on a Sunday  . x

Maisie -   as you have a week off it means you have some uninterrupted time to think about what you want to do, and do a bit of investigating into your options  . x

Hanna -   I'm so upset for you, and sending you lots of strength to help get you through these next few days and weeks, until you are all settled in Finland.  Big hugs sweetie. x

Kat - so sorry you're not well  . Am cramming for tomorrow. We'll see how it goes....x

Honor - glad all went well for you at the weekend.

Rachel - hi!

Hi to all other buds.

hugs

Curlyone.
x


----------



## Honor77

Hi again *Buds*,

Advice! Spoke to DH earlier and he has a face-to-face interview next Tuesday on the back of a phone interview he had last week. This though, of course, means he won't be back until late next week now (he claims he will be )... So, I will probably just stay with my parents another week, which is fine in itself, but I was supposed to go for a blood test for my thyroid next week. I know I can rearrange this and would probably be able to go early the following week, but this morning the antenatal clinic called and the consultant had got confused so it wasn't as urgent as she thought but when I said I was away and would need to rearrange my blood test, she said to make sure I don't delay it too long, as it's really important my levels are monitored.

So, after all that!, does anyone know if I'd be able to make an appointment with a GP here to get the blood test done here this or next week and the results sent to my GP, midwife and antenatal clinic? I have my pregnany notes with me and the form they gave me at the antenatal clinic for the blood test.

Thanks!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor your families gp should be able to do it for you.


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - sorry to hear that the evil witch has appeared   not long now to a fresh start back home and hopefully a new successful cycle.

Honor - call your parents gp and see if they can help you. You should be monitored every four weeks.

Maisie - your party photos looked GABA dn you looked lovely in that dress! It was lovely - I did note that you had removed your nice heels when dancing though  

Karen, hula, Carey, hope all goes well with you treatment and baby wise. Karen I have rubbed my belly on the screen for you!

Curlyone - good luck tomorrow!

Squirrel - hope you are feeling a bit better now.a chocolate diet is fine   anything that helps make you feel better. Good luck with your review this week. Let us know how you get on.

Evening everyone else xx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

Hope you are all OK.

*Hanna *- I'm so sorry to hear your news. I hope you can throw yourself into your leaving do's and keep looking forward. Your future is certainly bright, and who know what the big move and welcome change will bring you. 

*HOnor *- glad you're having a relaxing time at your parents and I hope you can organise that thyroid test. Good luck to DH for the job interview. Where is it?  

*Curlyone *- how are those eyebrows? Hope the mirror is smiling back at you.  I'm glad my story made you wince - I just had to share the horror of it with someone.... BTW - when we go back down to Prague later this week I'm going to make sure I find out exactly which drugs they gave me and NEVER, EVER, NEVER go within 5 metres of any of them EVER again. It's general anaesthetic for this precious lady from here on in. Being brave is not a smart idea. 

*Maisie *- great to hear you had a good party, and I understand the day-after "crash". Hope your spirits are perked up again and that you have a wonderful week off. You deserve the time off. 

*Kat*- How did you survive the parent onslaught? I hope you enjoyed your time with them and that they were able to offer you come support or comfort. Thinking of you. 

*Pooky *- funny you should mention drug prices in Czech Republic. All the drugs so far have been significantly cheaper than here in Germany. It's laughable that only a 2-hour drive can save us hundreds of euros. We're using the "savings" to upgrade ourselves to a suite in the hotel for our EC tour this week. So, how are you doing? 
*
Ma-me *- good luck with the start of stimming. Hopfeully time will fly and you'll be at EC, ET and beyond before you know it.

To all other Buds, love and cheesecake to you all.

*AFM *- It's finally time to get this baby-making show on the road... Trigger shot done 15 minutes ago, and now tummy is battered and bruised and ready to be deflated at EC on Wednesday.
I seem to have constant indigestion, excessive bloating and have not been able to eat a full piece of cheesecake for days now. The situation is dire. I'm ready for EC ASAP!

So, my official dates are - EC Wednesday and then ET either Saturday or Monday next week.
DH and are heading down to Prague tomorrow morning some time. We've booked ourselves a suite at a small hotel very near the clinic and we'll have a little 'Holiday" of it, then come back on Thursday. I also cannot imagine getting back in a car to repeat that torturous drive home like I did last week, so the extra night in Prague after EC will be a welcome relief.
My wonderful DH has spent this afternoon downloading TV shows and movies from i-tunes so I can just lay in bed and relax with the laptop on Wednesday afternoon. All I need is a glass of champagne  (or at least sparkling mineral water), and I'll be set.

So, no looking back now. Let's hope those 8- 9 little eggies of mine are ready to burst forth and party.         


I'll try and log in to say HI while we're in Prague and let you know how it all goes. Please do a mutliple, mature eggs & fertilisation dance for me. 

G'night all. 


Instead of my usual quote I want to share with you all a poem I recently found elsewhere on FF. Sorry if you've seen it before, but I find it so moving and yet inspirational, I really wanted you all the read it too. Please grab a tissue before you start reading....

*
Thoughts on Becoming a Mother*

_There are women that become mothers without effort,
without thought, without patience or loss
and though they are good mothers and love their children,
I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,
but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child,
knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed her
and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill,
take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense: that God has given me this insight,
this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to,
I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbour, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body,
I have been tried by fire and a hell that many never face,
yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me,
I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine,
of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth,
to accept when life is beyond hard.

I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in these shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother._

volunteer edit: author of poem unknown


----------



## Pookychops

Karen - lovely poem. All the best this week! Thinking of you. I'd just put my forecast together for the Czech Pharma market before my last post.......


Oh and here's something I find a bit odd - our new director At work has been walking around with a note pad in front of her belly for a while and apparently she told her direct reports that she was going into hospital for an operation. Everyone was like "oh dear, I hope nothing is wrong" to which she replied "no, all is fine, I'm having a cesearean" at which point most people were gob smacked. Anwyay - she's taking two weeks maternity leave and then coming back to work full time. The woman must be bonkers and it annoys me that she can create a young life and then just leave it in the hands of a nanny to return to work. Honestly, what's the point?


----------



## 1972

Good luck Karen     enjoy the drug free day xxx

Pooky - big boss at our work did exactly same,shes got 2 nannies, day and night so she doesn't actually look after her child.. Ever


----------



## Carey

Hi buds.

So after my post the other night I am now pleased to announce I safely gave birth to a perfect little boy yesterday at 8.46am. We have named him Oliver Raymond & he weighs a tiny 5lb 12oz. I am still i hospital but all is ok. Should be home later today.

We are so lucky to have had our dream come true & cannot wait for each & everyone of you to have ur dream become true too xxxxxxxxx
Without u girls this tx would have been so much harder, u are all such a fantastic bunch & m true friends. Xxxxxxx

Karen the poem was so lovely I had a tear in my eye by the end xxx

Hanna big higs for u xx

Keep Positive girls xxxxxx

Lots of love to you all xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations Carey! Welcome to the world little Oliver! I hope you get to take him home soon.


----------



## 1972

Congratulations Carey ! Xxxxxxxxx


----------



## beadyeyes

Congratulations Carey! Wow! He must've been early cos my ET was the same day as yours 

Sorry I don't post in here girls. I do read though xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Congratulations Carey! That's wonderful news.     

And lots of luck to Karen for the coming week!       
Beautiful poem...


----------



## rachel1972

Congratulation ~Carey x

Karen , i really hope tomorrow goes well, keep posting x


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

 *Carey* and *Mr Carey*! And  baby Bud no. 3, Oliver! Hope you've been able to go home today.

*Karen*: Hope you enjoy your trip to Prague and come back with the most wonderful souvenir ! Sending you lots of !
Thanks for the poem, so true .

Big  and  for everyone else!

*AFM*: Called in at doctors down the road on my way to visit a friend yesterday afternoon and managed to get an appointment for this morning. Blood test therefore now done and hopefully the results will end up where they're supposed to, although I will check this.  my levels are still looking good.

xxx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

Huge congratulations Carey. Love and hugs to you and gorgeous Oliver.

Hi all other Buds. I'm in Prague and eagerly awaiting tomorrow.
Can anyone tell me if it's OK to have a hot/warm bath the night before EC?
I thought it might relax me.
Any thoughts?

Love to you all,
Karen


----------



## Honor77

*Karen*: Think it's ok befoe EC but not after... 
!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

yes karen it is make the most of it cos you cant have baths on 2ww. xx


----------



## 1972

Karen xxxxxxx yes you can have a bath xxx


----------



## Nordickat

MiniCarey - welceom to the world

Karen - as long as you didn´t let DH in the bath with you then you are fine   . Hopefully talk to you (or DH again) when you get back home. Lots of luck to you both for tomorrow.

Curly - I hope you and your new eyebrows did some dazzling today and you have a job offer in the post soon. I was interviewing today so was thinking of you.

Squirrel - we decided to go with the op and was the one you mentioned. I will bother you with my zillion worries about it tomorrow if thats OK.

Thats me done sorry    lots of love to everyone though and you are all in my thoughts, I´ve had a truly ****e day thats all. You know when you think you have survived the worst, and since you got through ´the worst´ you can get through anything? Well sometimes life throws up the odd surprise and makes you question why you bothered in the first place  

Over and out, 
Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

Evening ladies!  Very quick one as only few hours sleep last night and need to go for a drink!

Carey - congratulations!  Welcome little Oliver Raymond     

Kat - thank you   

Karen - your poem made me humble (I've got quite a way to go on that one, being a better person etc...   )  Good luck for tomorrow hunny bunny - will be thinking of you.

Hi to all others.  Interview went ok - although at the end I was asked why I was taking a step down ('cos I want a job please).  I met what would be my boss and team mate, and think I may have been just a bit too much of a boss/mature/senior candidate, and maybe too big a personality in terms of experience etc.  However, another agency has been in touch today, and I have two applications in elsewhere (one job which does tickle my taste buds).  Met a friend today who is going through counselling, and has been stung by the 'did you want to have children' question.  It has made her crumble as she did try IVF about 8 years ago - it was her exDH's fertility that had caused the issues.  She realises she hasn't grieved and it's all coming out.  Bless her, I didn't know what to say as there was so much I could say.  Next time maybe, when we are not against the clock.

hugs all (especially Carey and Karen today, in a good way).  Hanna am thinking of you and Squirrel for big hugs too  

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Hannushka

Carey-     Congrats on the birth of baby Oliver!! 
Everyone-   
afm- Off to bath and bed. Big day tomorrow, last day at work and getting smashed after! 
AF is being CRUEL! Spent last nite changing pj bottoms and cleaning myself. Never EVER been this heavy! Odd, nasty, cruel AF!    
xxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds,
Wow the thread has moved so much since i was last on.
just a few personals, sorry if i miss you out.

Carey - congratulations on Olivers arrival, thats fab news. Another bud! Hope you are all doing ok.
Hanna - so sorry hun, i'm sure your luck will change on your return home, new start and hopefully a new addition. Hope you have a good leaving bash, not long now.
Maisie - glad you had a good party.
Kat - hope you are doing ok.
Karen - lovely poem, good luck for ec tomorrow and for a bumper crop! hope your follies do you proud. 

Have had a few busy weeks juggling everything on this cycle. I am day 16 of stims and feeling rather beach ball like. I have been monitored a lot more this time round and have pretty much had daily scans and bloods for the last week, dose of gonal f has been up and down and i am now finally ready for EC. Trigger for me is this evening at 11pm then drug free day tomorrow and EC Thursday morning. Its great to know the date now. Seem to have a fair amount of follies, left side is better than the right so fingers crossed for a few more mature eggs this time. Ive been having acupuncture so am hoping this is doing something to help with the quality. Lining was 10.8 so thats ok too.

Anyway a few things to do before my trigger shot but will try and get back on in the next couple of days.
love to all, hope everyones ok

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Just a quickie, more personals soon..

Hanna - so very sorry. Thinking of you and hoping you can focus on move home where fresh start can hopefully bring you all you wish for xx

Karen - enjoy your bath, fingers tightly crossed for ec tomorrow. Kerp me posted, you will be fine, proud od your follicles! Xx

Kat -   and   xx

Carey - huge congrats! Xx

Curky, pooky, huula, maisie, honor - lots of love xx

AFM bloods still say positive. More next week, dying to get back on hrt as turning into emotional menopausal wreck. Love to all xxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

hope you are ok Squirrel   hope the bloods return to normal soon so you can get some closure and get back on your hrt. xxxx


----------



## 1972

Curly - sounds positive    fingers crossed something will come of it 

Kat - sorry to hear you've had a bad day. sending you lots of love  

Hanna - enjoy the last day at work   sorry AF is so bad  

Squirrel - is there no chance this is a good sign ? I don't know nough about it. I'm keeping   for you, just in case honey xxxxx

Hula - good luck for trigger xxxxx

Hi all the rest of you lovely Ladies. I'm enjoying being off work, not really using my time well , doing nowt realy ...


----------



## Karen_S

Hula - good luck tomorrow & enjoy the drug-free day today.
Together let's hope we produce a bumper crop of juicy fertile eggs.


----------



## 1972

Good luck today Karen


----------



## Big hat

Karen - I am on tenterhooks waiting to hear about your bumper crop - I'm guessing that you have already had EC and are resting now.  I hope you realise that there is a little group of people sprinkled around Europe who are going to be willing on your little embies over the next few days, and then the 2ww!     

Squirrel - The cruelty of your situation is just so awful. is there nothing they can do so that you can move on to the next stage of this awful bfn process?    

Hanna - What a brave bud you are, having such an awful time.  I hope your body gives you a little break today and that you can have a fun night out with your colleagues.  

Pooky - just goes to show what a throwaway commodity a child can be to some people.  Hopefully, when the director actually meets her baby some greater maternal feelings will kick in.

Maisie - enjoy your time of doing nowt - sometimes that's what life requires   .

Hula  - good luck for tomorrow - all seems to be ticking along nicely, so hoping for some good news!!!

Kat - thanks for your support.  I hope today is treating you a bit more kindly than yesterday    .

Hi Rachel, Beady and Twinklie

Afm - well, I got offered the job.  They acknowledged it was a step down for me and, it seems that I was the strongest candidate.  However, some politics had come up and they were only able to offer me a greatly reduced salary.  Well now, had a bit of time to think and then phoned up my consultant for a chat.  She is furious with them, because of the time she and I have put into this process.  Turns out the politics is that the money that was advertised is the same amount that the manager is on; so I was being asked not only to give of my experience, my knowledge and ability as a manager but, also take a pay cut and have my hands tied before even starting the job because of someone else's ego and feelings of being threatened..... How can I deliver the targets when I would have to walk on eggshells with the manager - in a team of 3?  If nothing else, it's taught me that I can't go backwards.  I have been contacted by another agency and am waiting to hear about the shortlisting for a different job that pays a lot more!!!! Serum I'm afraid will have to wait another month but, at least it means (hopefully) I should be able to provide a better life for future offspring  .  C'est la vie.

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

Record-breaking 9 Eggies for me!
Clinic, DH & I are 'eggstatic' with this result.

So far, so good. Thanks to you all for your support.

I'm now back the hotel, sleeping, eating & resting.

Back to sleep now, but I'll update when we know more.
Zzzzzz


----------



## Nordickat

Karen - whoop whoop again   . Czech fertilization vibes coming your way   

Curly - fab news you got offered the job. You'll be on a roll now I reckon and have them coming out of your ears before you know it, oh the luxury of choosing which one you fancy best hey   . Serum will still be there next month.

Hanna    

Maisie - doing nothing sounds a great way to use your time if you ask me. Sometimes its just what we need.

Squirrel - sorry for my evasiveness   . I hope your bloods drop soon. Mine took a couple of weeks to be back to zero.

Hula - good luck for tomorrow   

AFM - Small fall out with my new psychologist -   - and she claimed she is reserving me a place in the loonybin (although obviously she doesn't call it that!) which is where I am heading if I don't take my finger off the self destruct button apparently ....... luckily I am made of tougher stuff than she realises   

love to everyone, 
Katxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Kat*: Hope you're having a better day today .

*Curly*:  on being offered the job, but boo hiss to the stingy, mean, insecure people; you're better off without them . I'm sure the perfect job is on its way with your name on . Love your positive attitude!

*Hanna*: And boo hiss to the evil  too . Hope she's eased off on you a bit today and you can revel in your last day at work and enjoy your leaving do!

*Hula*: Hope you're all triggered and raring to go for EC tomorrow morning ! Enjoy your drug-free day and  for tomorrow!

*squirrel*: Been thinking of you lots lately . Talk about a real-life nightmare . Is it 100% sure that you m/c? I don't know much about it all, but do the persistent HcG levels mean that you may have to have a D+C (is that what it's called)? Hope it won't come to that and you can finally get some closure on this turbulant chapter .

*maisie*: Glad you're enjoying a lazy week off work - well deserved !
Hope *maisiemoo*  is doing ok?

*Karen*: Huge  on your 9 eggies - very well done ! Will you now be waiting on tenterhooks tomorrow morning for "the call"?!

 to everyone else.

*AFM*: Have had quite a productive day with work so far, which is good. Quiet again at the moment, but perfect for catching up with my *Buds* !
Looks like DH is going to be away much longer than planned, with another interview lined up for 21 March - the day before my scan ! He did try to change the date but it's an assessment day thing so he can't. He's hoping to get more interviews/an offer before then so he can come back in time for the scan, but we can't count on it and so I'm going to have to try and sweet-talk my parents into coming down a bit sooner than planned so they can come along and hold my hand!
Am trying really hard to take a leaf out of *Curly's* book and be more positive about the situation: He's only doing what's best for us in the long run and I'd much rather he wasn't at the scan but then has a job and is around when baby comes ( - why do I always feel the need to do that religious crossing yourself thing every time I mention the word "baby" or "pg" ?!) than he's at the scan but still out of work by then, if that makes sense ?

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Had to get on here as was keen to here how Karen has done today - well done !! Great news on your 9 eggs, really happy for you. Hope there is lots of getting jiggy going on and look forward to hearing more..!  

Maisie - enjoy your time off, its good to have some me time to relax. Any plans for the week? Hows maisie cat?

Curly - well done on being offered the job but sorry to hear its bittersweet. Im with you on the not taking a step back,  something bigger and better is out there for you and im sure its just waiting round the corner. At least take something positive from it that they wanted you but just not to be this time.

Kat - sorry your going through this rough patch still. Are things getting any better?

Honor - yes i think at the moment you have to look at the wider picture that he is away but it is to try and get a job. Deffo rihg to think that hes away  before the baby arrives, i know thats not for a while but It would be a shame if he was missing out on bonding with little one. Im sure there are good things round the corner for you too.

Hanna - happy hangover - hope you have a good leaving do 

Have had a restful drug free day today and have been flicking through the sky channels to see what is on tomorrow where i will relax and snooze on the sofa without getting tempted to start doing something.. i will allow myself to be looked after tomorrow and relax.

Hope everyone else is ok 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi buds  

just a quicky 

good luck Hula for EC tomorrow

Karen glad EC was more straight foward hope you get a great results.

Curly nice to know you are wanted at least,  hope you get what you want on the salary maybe they are testing your negotiation skills?

Hanna hope you have a great night and can put the sadness to oneside for tonight.

love to all 

Rachel x


----------



## 1972

to karen, that's fab news.... You are going to have to remind me what's done different this time? Rest up and let us know after 'the call'    

Kat - you're indeed made of strong stuff, stronger than even you realise my dear- and that's what's got you this far .   lots of big love nd hugs

Squirrel -  

Curly - fab news but understand re job. Maybe this is just the beginning of lots of fab opportunities and here's to hoping one big fat salary  

Hula - good luck, sleep well tonight  

Honor - good news that dh has so many oppourtunities but tough that you are on your own   have you got friend that can come for scan with you ?

Hanna - enjoy tonight    , hope you have a fab evening

Rachel - hi, hope you are ok.x

Afm- maisiecat a bit better, she's been on the tablets a week now and seems a bit more perky and like she's put on weight. Back to vets in 10 days for another check up. Being off work is just so nice, much needed.met an old school friend for lunch yesterday, was good to reminisce , today I've dejunked - tidyed out cupboards and got bags of stuff that we are going to do a car boot when bit warmer. Found loads of old stuff and I'm now going through years of old photographs having a clear out. Tomorrow shopping for day with mum. I got lovely bracelet for b'day but it's too small, so going to change and take back b'day dress as I never even wore it !  

Had bumper delivery from Marilyn glenville today, fertility supplements for him and her, fish oil and Angus castus or something, supposed to help. I'm still taking my bee propolis, got to get some royal jelly. For those ladies who've had bfp- have you ever taken DHEA ? I don't know whether to bother getting anymore?

Xxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

wow maise sounds like you are on a high , it must feel good to get the big 40 over with onwards and upwards.x


----------



## 1972

Not on a high Rachel, just not at work !  lol


----------



## Big hat

KAAAAHHRENNN!!!!!! Woo hoo!     Things are getting jiggy in Prague tonight  .  Well done lovely.

Kat - I think you have been messing with small fat one's mind.  You are of stronger stuff than she realises -  have you told her that you are 'tough as old boots'? If she comes up with something enlightening you could say 'well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs' in response.  You could even say 'I'll just put wood in th'hole' as you walk in the room and close the door.... I'm not making light of what you're going through, just hope it get's better    

Maisie - the jury does seem to be out on the DHEA subject, with people either seeming to think avoid or only have it if it is closely monitored by a pro....can you discuss it with Dr/consultant before deciding?

Honor - that is a long time for DH to be away  .  Maybe having your parents with you for the scan will help them realise so much more about where you have been emotionally and mentally on this journey (and why you were so upset at them discussing your situation with other family members) -  a little bit more of the healing process.  xx

Hula - just stay away from any kind of this morning/jeremy kyle tv tomorrow, unless you want your brain to dribble out onto the sofa   

Rachel - hello lovley.

Hanna - how's the hangover (am assuming you will only read this on Thursday)

Squirrel  

Gladys and Carey - hello mommies  

Afm - message left from consultant - apparently there has been a change of circumstances re: job....hmmmm, will see what that's all about in the morning.....

night night all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## squirrel2010

Karen!! Woooohoooooooooooo! You are such a clever egg producing factory! Cant tell you how pleased I am for you. Will keep an eye on skype to congratulate you. Well done. What a big step! Xx

Curly - oooh, job offer could be changed maybe? I hope they pay you what you are so obviously worth. Keep us posted and good luck xx

Kat - you are made of diamonds as far as I am concerned - aint they the strongest stuff??!!! And sparkly and sought after. Just hope you can break down some barriers. Thinking of you and will be in touch xx

Maisie - so glad cat improving, I have a website which I will email you the details of, all about thyroid disease in cats. Xx

Honor - hope parents are delighted at your scan xx

Hula -good luck xx

Hanna - hope the witch being less nasty. Thinking of you xx

Everyone -   if you need it xx

AFM - just takes time for hcg levels to drop, bled so much that d and c hopefully not required. Just impatient to start my hrt as am an irrational nightmare without it. Oh, hang on, thats me anyway?! Nearly over. Last bloods tuesday i hope. Then go again may time, for more masochistic fun and frolics, if all goes according to plan. Oh hang on again - nothing has gone to plan for the last two years so why i should assume it will now??!!! Onwards my friends. Love to all xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Squirrel - you are not being irrational at all!!! You are being subjected to one really cruel trick that just keeps dragging out this nightmare.  I really hope your clinic are able to do something different for you next time - a back up donor, anything.  Feel so bad that there is nothing we can all do to make you feel better  .....Hopefully, after next Tuesday you won't need a D and C and you can start to prepare yourself for May. xx

Afm: on top of job nonsense (they want to pay me more, but that doesn't change all the politics nonsense), my heaviest weigh-in in 2 years, and my overplucked eyebrows I met a friend and her 6 mth old for a tea and hot chocolate at a little pub near us yesterday.  There were the usual barproppers lined up.  I sat down, she went to the bar, and the barproppers started cooing over the baby; one asked where mine was, and I had to say it was covered in fur and at home, the other asked if the baby was a boy (she was dressed all in pink), then looked at me and asked if I was my friend's mother   - my friend is 38.  I have just sat and consumed 450g of lemon yoghurt so, if anyone notices wrinkles around my mouth and feels the need to comment and ask if I've been sucking a lemon I can say 'as damn near close as I could get to, yes'!!!

Hope life is treating you all a little bit better today......I'm off to find a wasp to chew.....

hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

Oh Curly thats horrible.   

Squirrel   
I think we need to all be near to each to give a proper hug.  hope  to see you all again soon.xx
afm I have had my mother on the phone she is not mentaly well at the moment so it is very hard.  I have been to my meditation group this morning and felt quite  able to deal with my mother which was good.  
I am going away tomorrow on a retreat , i cannot wait. 
If i dont post tomorrow have a good weekend all xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well .

*Hula*: How did you get on today?! Hope it went well and you don't feel too bleurgh .

*maisie*: Glad maisiemoo  is doing better . Hope she passes her next check-up with flying colours!
Sounds like you've been busy during your week off, getting set for a house move and baby !
Hope you got my PM?

*Curly*: So it's still a no-go with the job? Good on you holding out for bigger and better things. I'm sure you're going to be snapped up in no time !
And good on you with your response about your baby! Made me chuckle . Hope it put them well in their place .

*squirrel*:  for a speedy end to this awful nightmare you've been through. Let me know if you want to Skype .

*rachel*: Glad your meditation helped you deal with your mum. Have a lovely retreat !

*Hanna*: You still with us after your leaving do last night ?!

*Karen*: Any news?!?! Hope it's all systems go for ET in the next few days .

*Kat*: .

 to everyone else!

*AFM*: Plan B now in place. If DH can't make it home for 22nd (though he now has another interview next Thursday so with any luck, he'll have an offer soon and can cancel one for 21st ), my mum is going to come down a couple of days earlier than planned to go with me, and my dad will come by train on the day originally planned. Of course, I'd much rather DH could be with me, but it's a relief to know I won't be on my own and at the end of the day, the important thing is that everything's ok      .

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Honor glad you have such supportive parents make the most of it xx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

*Hula *- How are you? I hope all went well today, and you had a lovely recovery in front of the tv. 

*Curlyone *- sorry that the job-hunting is going so crazy! The right one is out there. I hope you get very good news soon.

Honor -glad the plans are working out for your scan. I believe DH is doing all he can to provide for his family.

Hi all other Buds.

This is just a quick message to let you all know that we currently have 8 embryos. That's double our best effort so far. I am beyond speechless and in total disbelief.
We are hoping to get to blast for Monday ET. Please keep those fingers crossed.

Lovely evening to you all and I'll chat again soon.

G'night.


----------



## 1972

Oh Karen - I'm so pleased for you !!!!! Please when you get a mo can you message me with differences in tx , regime etc.. We've had similar numbers up t o now - I need to know what's different xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

That's excellent news Karen!   go embies go. You can do it!


----------



## ma-me28

thats great news karen.x


----------



## Nordickat

Hula - I hope you are OK and home resting.

Karen - I hope they continue to divide and conquer   

Nobody seems to understand that being 50% sick means that I should only work half a day not another half on top of a normal day. They may actually break me properly this time   . Now about to write a presentation on the bus to the conference whilst talking to a journalist on the phone about something else  . I will make a proper effort to catch up next week I promise.

Love Katxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hello ladies!
Karen- Fantastic news on your embies! I have a good feeling about this    
Curly- Just chuckled as I read about you expecting me to read anything at all yesterday. I've been sick as a dog. Have finally stopped shaking this morning   What a horrible incident at the pub.   
Kat- Don't you work too hard. You are number 1. Work comes secong...or fifth or something  
Honor- I'm just about here. Shots should be illegal. Hope you are well x
Everyone  
afm- Had an amazing evening, until I was forced to down 3 sambuca shots... And spent my last hour in the toilets hugging the seat. Felt like a right teenager. Girls 10 years younger taking care of me. Oh dear! My boss called me a cab around 12 and I left without even saying good bye to people. Shame on me! 
Now off to collect the last of my prezzies from work, hoping that there is no security staff there who were at my party. I am mortified! Only stopped shaking this morning but still aching all over. 
Oh well, I was known as the boring one who never went to parties or if I did, I never got drunk, so I suppose it was my fate to leave with a bang and leave people gasping at my antics  
I shall catch up with you all later. Oh and af is ok now. I think my alcohol consumption scared the witch right off   
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Gladys07

Karen that us fan news, divide and conquer thoughts xxx

Sending love to you all and will do personals when at computer, all going well but feel rough due to incision infection xxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening buds
Hope you are all well.

Karen - great news! hope those cells carry on dividing and that they get to blast for Monday
Dee - hope all is well with you and that you are feeling better soon
Hanna - ha great that you went out with a bang! not so great on the hangover but am glad you enjoyed yourself. Not long till you leave now, what are your plans before you go?
Kat - shame your colleagues dont understand,hope it gets better.
Honor  - glad your folks are able to go with you, hope DH gets an amazing offer soon so he is able to come home soon. im sure hes not enjoying being away from you for so long.
Curly - hang in there bud, im sure your job situ will be sorted soon. Cant bear Jeremy Kyle and - gets on my nerves, i prefer a bit of homes under the hammer   . Dont listen to the bar proppers - they all talk rubbish and dont know what they are talking about.
Rachel - hope you enjoy your retreat, sounds like you need a break. Sorry to hear your mum isnt great.
Squirrel - hope your bloods are back to normal soon.
Maisie - glad you are enjoying your time off, sounds like you have had a nice week. What is DHEA? Will have to have a look at the place you got your supplements from.

AFM - had egg collection yesterday and was fine until we got home where i progressively worse throughout the day and into the evening. I had a bit of a sore throat yest morning but thought that might be more to do with not being able to have anything to drink when i woke up. Had a temperature last night but feeling a bit better today having spent the day relaxing - also took my mind off my eggs in the lab.
Anyway we got 18 eggs and again were warned that some were immature despite drug changes and stimming for longer compared to last tx. Got the call today and 8 were mature and they did ICSI this time and all 8 have fertilised which is great news! Provisionally booked in for ET on sunday but  they are hoping for blasts so that would be tuesday. Fingers crossed they are all ok. I am wondering though if they  will do ET if i have a cold/cough or been poorly for a few days? Doesnt sound like the best start for ET. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Anyway, off to take some cough medicine and then bed
g'night all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi hula

That's great news !!!!!! I think et is fine, I was poorly round 1 and it was ec that it affected as they don't like to sedate if you have temperature. Look after yourself, rest up and hopefully you will be fighting fit.

I've got stinking cold, I feel awful   face feels swollen and achy, my sinuses I think. I have nail appt at 11 then I'm coming back for afternoon on sofa. Annoyed its ruined end of my week off  

Happy Saturday to everyone

  to those who need it

 xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie -  hope you feel better soon? You can't squeeze a couple of days off sick next week?

Hula - sounds like you have a good crop there   you sound similar to me in that you get lots of eggs but not all good to use. Good luck for them dividing and conquering over the next couple of days. It always so nerve wracking waiting for the phone calls from the hospital. 

D - hope infection clears up soon. Hope you and Stanley are getting to know each other and that things are ok with your dad.

Kat - work will always try and squeeze you for more and more you just have to push back. I find crying on people at work helps sometimes as they just don't know how to react. Although not an entirely professional approach...... The main thing is that you make sure you get the time you need to heal, there is no quick fix for depression and you need time.

Honor - sorry that dh can't make it back. Is it your birthday today? I seem to remember that it's About now..... Hopefully dh will get a job and come home and treat you to something lovely!

Karen - hope you're are ok and well on the way to having two blastocysts popped back in on Monday.

Squirrel - hope you're ok. Will text you soon.

Curly - ignore men in pubs - they have generally been drinking and talk utter tosh! Don't worry about any weight gain, you're tall and can get away with it not showing! Everyone is allowed a bit of weight gain every now and then. Once you get a job sorted everything will click into place and it will be utterly fabulous!

Hope everyone else is ok. Double glazing man is now here to measure up. Found another cheap bloke on a recommendation so will cost about £7k   got about ten days till 20 week scan - cant wait to se them again and check that they are all ok.


----------



## squirrel2010

Well done hula and karen - amazing xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Have been following on my phone but not been on laptop for couple days. So apologies if this is brief and if I miss any news...

Karen: Fab news on your embies! You and DH must be over the moon! Hope they continue to develop well and are PUPO soon!

Hula: And more good news from you following EC! You'll also be PUPO before you know it!

Dee: Hope you feel better soon so you can fully enjoy Stanley.

Squirrel: Good luck for bloods early next week. I know you just want to be able to draw a line under it all. Thinking of you...

Pooky: Oh! Not long to go til your 20-week scan! That's come about so quickly! Will you also find out the flavours?!

So sorry if I've missed anyone/thing... After a lovely birthday yesterday, I'm having a bit of a stressful day today, having had cramping most of the day and a small streak of red blood this morning. Luckily no more blood and mum on hand to reassure me.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Happy birthday for yesterday honor!  

I've found with bleeding that if you get some and then don't get anymore you're generally ok. If you get anymore look up the early pregnancy unit and see if you can go there directly and they will scan you. Peace of mind is priceless in such situations. I was sent there by gp at 9 weeks with brown blood and found the, to be most reassuring.


----------



## Karen_S

HI Buds,

Hope all is well.

*Maisie *- sorry to hear you feel under the weather and hope that it passes soon. Maybe this is a sign that you shouldn;t go back to work on Monday.  BTW - My latest drug protocol will be emailed soon. There seemed to be so many injections, dosage adjustments and more drugs I have to type it all out in an excel sheet for you. I love a good Excel spreadsheet, don't you?

*Hula*- Sorry that you aren't feeling well, but as Pooky said, you're through the most serious part, and you need only relax now and look forward to PUPO. Good luck over the next few days to ET, and I hope you get to blats for Tuesday.   

*Dee *- Thanks so much for tearing yourself away from your gorgeous son to post a message. It's great to hear from you and thanks so much for your support and kind words. Now go back and cuddle your little bundle of joy and give him a big hug from me. 

*POoky *- Good luck with the scan, and I hope all goes well with that double-glazing. 

*Honor *- I hope that everything is OK. I always hold my breath when I read potential bad news on here, and I can honestly say it's a relief when any spotting, aches, pains and general ickyness turn out to be all OK. Glad you have your Mum at hand for moral and general support. 

*squirrel *- thanks for your kind words. How are you doing? I hope things are settling down and that you can finally have some peace after your latest disappointment. I'm free to chat again any time when you are. 

*Hanna *- It was funny reading your leaving-do story. I hope the hangover didn't last too long and that your next 'big' night will be back with your family. Good luck with the move and I hope it all goes well. 

*Kat *- Thanks so much for your messages and support this last week. It has meant so much. I'm really sorry I haven't replied yet, but I'm working on it right now.... So, how are you doing? Work sounds like a disaster- don't they realise you are overdoing it? Can't you talk to someone about it? I hope you work it all out and can off0load some of that workload very soon. Work is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Health, family, sanity and friends are far far more important.    

*Ma-Me* - how is your tx going? Where are you at now? Fingers crossed for a successful outcome. Keep us posted.  

Hi and hugs to all other Buds. I hope the weekend is treating you all well.

*AFM *- I'm still cruising along, trying to stay calm and eating lots of comfort food. Doctor even said a glass of wine was OK, so I've indulged in a little one tonight. Tasted sooooo good!
Well, I guess you may have done the maths by now and worked out that it's Day 3 after EC today and I still haven't mentioned ET. That's because I haven't had it yet and there's a good amount of "divide and conquer" going on and we still have 6 embryos working their way to multi-cell little blasts. YIPPEE! Actually, of the 8 that fertilised, as at 10:30 this morning, 4 are already at 8-cell, 2 at 6-cell and the other 2 are only 4 and 2 cell. So, I say we still have 6 little miracles working their way to meet their new home very very soon.
Fingers crossed for at least 2 blasts on Monday.

BTW - for all you ladies who got to blast previously, what is the "normal" number you can expect to end up with? 
DH is really worried about our number and I don't know whether to slap him around the head and tell him to stop worrying, or join his state of perpetual tension. This is such a confusing time. 

Anyway, love to you all and hope you all have a fabulous and sunny weekend. 

G'night 
_*
Dreams are like the paints of a great artist. Your dreams are your paints, the world is your canvas. 
Believing, is the brush that converts your dreams into a masterpiece of reality.*_


----------



## ma-me28

honor happy birthday for yesterday.x and glad things are ok.xx
hanna glad you had a good if not eventful leaving do  
hula fab news on your embies good luck with et and hope you feel better.x
pooky 20wks have flown by will you be finding out the colours?
karen fab news on your embies good luck with blast transfer on mon, its all sounding very positive, i think when we got to day 5 we had 3 out of 5 embies still going, treatment is going really well am now stimming hopefully just over week til ec have baseline bloods on monday. 
kat  hope you can ease up on work a bit soon,x
carey congrats on the arrival of oliver cant wait to catch up with you both and meet the little fella.x
big hugs to anyone else i have missed

afm on day4 of stimming now everything going well didnt have to talk myself into doing it this time round, and my dots are barely noticeable, have baseline bloods on mon, and luckily have a very good support network keeping me sane through this cycle.  
Had lovely evening last night went to nandos then went to see the woman in black luckily my scarf came in handy(to cover my eyes) lol


----------



## Nordickat

Hula - I hope you are feeling a bit better today and that it turns out to be just a sniffle rather than anything more serious - the clinic are probably the best people to advise you about being ill for et. I would avoid it because it sends my immune system into overdrive but for the average chick it will be fine. Sounds like you are well on the way to making some beautiful babies though   . 

Karen - thats what friends are for  . I still have everything crossed for you. As for blast numbers, well you might be lucky and get one or 2 to freeze but don't be upset if you just have a couple to transfer and none 'spare' as thats more normal. Aiming for blast when you have 8 or more fertilized eggs is the norm (for clinics that can go to blast that is). Don't stress, its all going really textbook well.

Honor - I'm glad your mum is looking out for you and can come to your scan if DH is still away. I  hope he is back sooner than you expect because that means he has a job all lined up   Ooh, and happy belated birthday   

D - I hope you are still able to love every second of finally being a mummy even is you are a bit peaky.

Rachel - hope you have a lovely weekend. I assume a retreat involves lots of doing nothing but relaxing.

Curly -   I hope there was no need to find the wasp after all    

MaMe -  Exciting times   . You sound a pro now. Being chilled out and distracted is the best route to a sticky BFP I reckon.

Pooky - blimey, 20 weeks already

Hanna - going out with a bang hey    

Squirrel   thanks for being fab. You are a  real lifesaver and good things will come your way   

Maisie - at least you didn't get sick until the very end of your holiday ..... although if you are sick maybe you should extend your time off   

Lynn - where are you? I  hope you are OK?

Well, I've just got to the end of my 12 hour day (although I did have an hour in the cafe with pooch and squirrel too despite her being 500 miles away   ) and I'm whacked. I have discovered I write so much better with a continuous flow of vino though   . The continuous flow of double lattes got me through my presentation on Friday too. I'm thinking of getting a cannula permanently fitted so I can just deliver my drug of choice whenever needed   

Love Katxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening buds  
Hope everyone is having a nice weekend, forecast for tomorrow in London is rain all day - booooooo!
Maisie - hope you are feeling better, hopefully with spring on the horizon it will see off loads of these bugs going round.
Ma-me - glad stims is going ok for you, EC will be here before you know it. Hope your cycle goes well, good luck. Yum nandos-  mmmm! Not seen the woman in black but ive heard its very creepy, would like to see it although im very easily spooked! and v jumpy.
Karen - sounds like all is going well for you, so pleased. Dont think you should worry too much, what will be will be. Stay positive i think it does alot to be in a good frame of mind and things are going so well. Good luck for Monday. My last cycle we had 7 embies, 4 made it to blast, one was put back and 2 frozen the other didnt make it.
Honor - hope you had a lovely birthday. what did you get up to? glad your mum is on hand. Hope all is ok and no more cramping or bleeding.
Pooky - wow i really cant believe you are nearly 20 weeks, thats gone so quickly. Are you going to find out what they are?
Squirrel - thanks, how are you doing?
Kat - thanks, im hoping i will get better quick smart but i will ask them tomorrow. 12 hour day is not good but hope your hour with pooch and squirrel made it better, hang on its saturday.... were you meant to be doing work?

AFM - been to acupuncture today which was ok. Spent the rest of the day at home coughing and spluttering, DH keeps reminding me to take my medicine. It wouldnt surprise me if he knocks me out tonight as i kept him awake last night   
Clinic should ring in the morning to say if ET is tomorrow or not, i am hoping not as im not 100% so would rather it was tuesday, just hoping the little embies are doing ok - havent had any updates today.

Hello to everyone else  

off to bed with my benylin
night all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Kat   

Karen - fab news xxxxx

Honor - happy belated birthday   xxxxxxxx

Ma-me- good luck with bloods and jabs 

Hula - sleep well and good luck  

Hi to everyone else. Xxx

I'm not too good at moment, im feeling v rough ( I'm in bed now) , but I've so been having some strange thoughts these last few days and I need to get rid of them .. Nothing sinister but bad .   need to get head a bit straighter... Xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie   Firstly, do you have a fever? Go and check your temperature. Your strange thoughts may well be due to a high temperature and once you are physically healthy again you will feel much better mentally too   . Otherwise, I hope you can get everything sorted out and put into its compartments to deal with it. You know where I am if you need help organising and filing your thoughts ...... I'm a pro on the bad thoughts stuff. In the meantime, remember you are a lovely, kind, compassionate and empathetic person. You have helped me out of many a dark pit over the months.  You are a wonderful strong person with a wonderful husband and you deserve your dreams to come true, and they will come true you know. Trust me ....... I'm a Dr  ....... and whenever I see shooting stars you get one of my wishes  . Be brave.


----------



## Pookychops

Quick one for Karen. The first time I ended up with five blastocysts starting from 15 eggs and had 4 frozen.  The last time we ended up with two blastocysts and the other four that were looking good just gave up. As you know the two good ones stuck. The main thing is that they pick the best ones to go back inside. Your crop sounds like a good one    just remember if you don't end up with any freeze it's not game over for the ones they put back in you! 

Good luck and thinking of you xx


----------



## 1972

Thanks Kat honey. You might be right.. I don't really want to say what but this stuff has consumed me the last few days, i was fine before that.

I'm still feeling poorly, think it is due to being unwell. This is more than a cold, my legs are like jelly and im aching like mad  

Maybe it's old age   xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Maisie - hope you are feeling better soon hunny. Deffo take your temperature, that can do funny things to you. My temp on thursday eve was 38.8 - i felt awful. Rest up, lots of fluids, vit c and remember the old wise words of starve a fever but feed a cold. Now that i dont have a fever i am scoffing loads of nice things, its so great when you start feeling like food again. Its one of the main ways i know i am unwell that i lose my apetite - so thankful its back!

Just had a call from the embryologest, ET is off for today thank goodness so we are on for Tuesday morning. Sounds like 7 of are 8 are doing really well, he said they are top quality so really pleased about that. Just hoping and praying they carry on and that as well as having a good one put back that we can freeze some if poss too. I had also forgotten how horrible cyclogest is!

Pooky - when you had 2 put back did they ask you how many or did you have to say you wanted 2? i really cant remember last time if they asked?

Karen - good luck for tomorrow - hope your embies are looking good. Hows DH bearing up? is he still a wreck? You will be PUPO tomorrow, when are you heading back home?

Hi to everyone else, off for my next dose of cough medicine  - how exciting
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Karen_S

HI again Buds,

Firstly - so sorry I am totally a birdbrain and missed that it was Honor's birthday on Thursday. It was there in the post, in black and white, and I still missed it. Maybe all the gas build-up from my progesterone pessaries seeped up into my brain and caused momentary lack of vision.

Anyway...*HONOR*- Happy Belated Birthday. 

Everyone else - many many thanks for your replies re the number of embryos and blasts. I think we are on a good path and things are going well. Your posts helped me realise that.

However, may latest internal saga is whether we should have 1 or 2 blasts put back for ET.
So, to bother all you wise ladies again - what do you think... 1 or 2?

God, I'm so confused and all this success so far has totally thrown me. I never expected to get this far this time. 
I need cheesecake, and a deep breath, and all will be well again. 

Have a good Sunday everyone and chat again soon.
Karen
_*
Worry is a misuse of imagination*_


----------



## Pookychops

Hello,

Hula - the consultant had already decided before my second round of ivf to put two back in and so they didn't discuss it with me the final time. As it turned out we couldn't have two put in with the second round as I didn't get enough embryos. But I did have a frozen one put back in as well as the fresh cycle. We had already gone through set for the first fresh cycle and the FET and so they decided because of my age and that one didn't seem to work that they would do two.

Karen - I think if I were you I would go for two. It doesn't double your chances and it does increase your risk of twins but you know you have two good embryos in there giving it a good shot. we tried to avoid having twins over concerns over my back and my being able to carry them without doing my back further damage. However we felt, and the hospital did, that after a couple of goes of going nowhere with just one that it was time to up the ante a bit. we did always want two children and now hopefully we will get that in one go and not have to go through this god awful process again..
We did agonize over the decision quite a lot and we were relieved when the hospital just said that they'd go for two the next time as it took the pressure off us a bit but we had kind of decided that anyway.

I guess you need to think about if you could cope with twins if that did happen, if you have two blastocysts that are both good quality do you give them both the same shot or do you put one on ice for a future FET cycle. For FET cycles there is always the worry that they won't survive the thaw. Plus, you could have one put in and it could split and you could end up wit twins anyway.

It is a hard decision to make. As I said our logic was to just try and get it work and put two in and hope for the best and now I have a rather tubby belly and still getting the odd bit of morning sickness. I think we are both still a bit scared about the prospect of twins but everyone keeps telling me that you end up being more organized and more proactive with two because you have to be! 

I hope that helps - I don't think I'm being as clear as I can be as not feeling too hot today. Sleepy and nauseous from too much curry last night.....

All the best with making your decision, you have to do what is right for you and dh and just ensure that you have no regrets to live with and you'll be fine.


----------



## bell26

Karen, just seen your amazing news ! Well done you !

If I were you I would go with two... We had three blasts put back and ended up with our gorgeous girl... Twins is obviously a maybe but is that really a bad thing ?! 

Good luck with whatever you decide, got a great feeling about it for you this time ! 

All is good with us, still can't believe after 9 years we are a family, I've had mastitis and a c section scar infection but not even those things can bring me down, feel so blessed and lucky. G is worth every injection, blood test, vag cam, ohss !!! The list goes on.. After all the tears I have shed on this journey I will never forget the pain it took to get here, I am so glad I persevered and was lucky enough to get our happy ending, there was a time that I didn't believe in happy endings..

Love to all of you, I hope and pray for you all every day xx


----------



## Nordickat

Karen - 2! For the reasons Pooky says. OK, so you might get a tubby belly like Pooky because you've got twins growing inside, but having 2 decreases the chances of having an equally tubby belly like me because you are a miserable comfort eater ...... at least her belly will get small again when her babies arrive whereas mine will just get bigger and bigger. Your clinic will help you decide when you get there tomorrow. 

Hula - all sound good for you too


----------



## Karen_S

I wish I could blame the tubby belly on being pregnant, but I can't...not yet anyway.

It could be the mountains of cake, chocolate-chip shortbread and general yummy things that I have been happily shoving in my mouth to make me feel better.
I will never stand on bathroom scales again.

I was hoping to blame my still bloated tummy on the after-effects of EC, but who am I kidding?

Cheesecake and chocolate puddings never tasted so good as when you're trying to de-stress!


----------



## Pookychops

I had such a bloated belly after last EC it was a nightmare. Progesterone doesn't help either, or cake  

Honor - how are you today? No more blood I hope?


----------



## Big hat

First off - Sorry Honor - Happy birthday sweetie!!!!! .  Hope you are still with your mum and being looked after.  It seems DH is doing well with so many interviews so fx good news is nearby.  xx

Karen - yey! Get you with your lots of beautiful and wonderful quality embies    .  I'm so thrilled for you, and can't wait to hear how ET goes. I think there may be a rationale out there that 2 embies are the preferred option for us older gals. In fact they did 3 for me last May time.  By the sounds of it you're going to have some in reserve too, and that really is fantastic news also.  I think you have to give yourself a pat on the back  . xx

Hula - oo, exciting that you are up for ET tomorrow also, and that fabulous news that so many are doing so well.  Sorry you suffered a bit after EC but, it seems to have been worth it.  Looking forward to your pupo update. x

bell - bless, your post is lovely (despite c section scar infection and mastitis), you sound so happy  . x

Maisie - hope today isn't treating you too badly.  I think we can all understand some of the thoughts you are having, I think it may be par for the course on this journey  . x

Kat - I know you have said in the past about being obliging at work but, are you able to negotiate a reduction in hours for a while?  How did the interviewing go - any possible assistants shine out? 

Gladys - hope you've got your incision infection (ouch) sorted, and that you and BB are having lots of snuggles. xx

Squirrel - hi lovely  

Ma-me - hope blood results are good.  woman in black - hiding behind my scarf would be exactly the reason I wouldn't go and see the film (the play was jumpy enough)  .

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Nordickat

Karen - good luck today. And thanks for letting me moan yesterday.

Curly - I am 50% sick actually, not that you would notice   . Oh and don't ask about the interviewing. There is one fab guy so fingers crossed he takes a job. Then there were 2 others who I said I thought we rubbish. Because I disagreed, they cut me out of the loop and one of the has been offered a job  . Unless they shove a rocket up his   when he arrives, there is no way I can work with the eejit!


----------



## Honor77

Quick GOOD LUCK for Karen and Hula!!! Looking good, girls!

Hugs to everyone else, hope to be back soon with a proper post.

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

honor a huge hug have you spoken to midwife?

Karen good luck with a decission which only you can decide, i chose eset as i didnt feel i would cope with twins and i was very glad i made that decission, having said that the wanting  a sibling is very hard but i still think it was the best decission for me and i had to fight for it the consultant wasnt very happy.

Hula hope you get better soon have you had rescue remedy it may help after the EC.  I had Fet with stinking cold they werent bothered and its proberbly best to go with fresh if you can.  all the best.

Hi to everybody else.

R xx


----------



## ma-me28

karen hope everything went well today.
hula good luck for tomorrow.x
bell lovely to hear how family life is going for you, hope your infections clear up soon though
curly i have heard that about the play film was bad enough though lol and its meant to be a 12a!!! and bloods are ok have had gonal f reduced to 112.5 have baseline scan weds.x


----------



## Pookychops

Ma-me - that's good news! Good luck with your baseline scan!

Karen - how many did you go for? Hope all went well today.

Hula - good luck with transfer tomorrow! 

Honor - anymore blood? How long is it now until your scan?

Maisie - hope you get better soon. I always get really down when I'm ill. If you still fell that way when you get better then that's a good sign that something is wrong. Take care,


----------



## zedster76

Hi lovely cheesecake buds . . . how is everyone  

zoe x x x


----------



## Carey

A very early good morning to u all  

Thank u for all ur lovely messages. Me & Oliver r both really good. 

Karen - hope ur ET went well how exciting u got to blast xxx

Ma-me- Hope ur scan goea well tomorrow hun. Xx

I've just sat & read 5 pages & now can't think, my mind has gone all fuzzy & no doubt I will get replies nuddled up..

Honor - hope u had a fab birthday hun xxx

Hanna - hows everything going? Xx

Dee - hope stanley is ok & u get better sn xx

Hope all our pg ladies are all getting on ok? Xx

Do we have some OTD ladies soon? GOOD LUCK XX

For those needing aa hugs I'm sending u lots xxxxxx

Lots of love Cxxx


----------



## 1972

Morning buds

Back to work for me today, was off sick yesterday. Still not 100% but better tan I was.

Final offer in on house and vendor is considering it.. It's not a no, so   he accepts !!!

Hula -   xxxx

Karen - how did it go, did you go with 2 ?

Honor - hope you are ok ?

Kat , squirrel, D, Carey, mame, Zoe, twinkle, curly, pooky, bell, Rachel and anyone I've missed   xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Hula - good luck today


Karen   


squirrel  


 Pooky, you are quiet these days. I guess you are busy stroking your belly in wonder   


Maisie - send subliminal messges to the vendor, and if that fails I´ll have my fingers crossesd as back up. Good luck back at work  


AFM&P - well pooch had his hair cut yesterday and I think he might have those tiny spikey bits of loose hair stuck in his willy. The poor wee thing is going bonkers crying about it and running in circles and then launching himself onto my lap (his is over 17 kg  ) so I had better take him out to distract him. Finally a day off sick for me today.


Katxxx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi BUds,.

Well it's done! I have 2 blasts back where they belong.
Everything went very smoothly yesterday and it was actually a relaxing and easy process. Dare I say. I'm PUPO!

Unfortunately none of the other embryos made it, the other 2 'good performers' started to fragment.
It would be nice to have frosties, but the fact we have 2 blasts still going strong is what I'm going to focus on.

Sorry for no personals this morning, but DH has ordered me to rest and not sit all morning at the PC.
Sofa and TV time sounds good to me. I'm going to take it easy for a couple of days and start work again on Thursday.

Meantime, this has been the most positive result so far, and I'm keeping focused on that. We have every reason to believe this can work. 

Take care all and have a sunny day,
Karen

_*A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory. *_


----------



## rachel1972

great news Karen enjoy being pupo lots of love and babydust to you xx

Kat sorry to hear your lovely dog is in discomfort hope you can sort it and get to relax today with him.x

Maise good luck with the offer on the house fx x

Hi to everyone else, pooky, dee and stanley, carey and oliver, hula, honor, curly,lynn, twiklie, zedster,hana,mrs ixy sorry if i have missed you, not got much of a memory.

afm not really good much to tell at the moment.  

love and light to all R xx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Karen,

That is just the best news ever!!!!! Helllooooooo PUPO lady!     

yes, it is a shame that the others didn't get there but, what is does show is what a pair of little fighters you have!  

My suggestion is, take DH's advice and spend this time resting, glowing, and enjoying your time pottering - that is before the 2ww madness starts kicking in for the 2 of you, oh in about 4 days time... 

Sending lots of   and   your way sweetie. xxx

Hula - you're up next  .

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Pookychops

Well done Karen! Rest up! Don't worry about lack of frosties, I didn't get any and as long as they put the best two back in you're in with a good chance!

Kat - am drowning in forecasts at present so not much time to chat on here. Roll on April when pressure is off and I can chill a bit!


----------



## Nordickat

Karen - fab news   . You don't need icebabies with those 2 fighters on board


----------



## Hannushka

Hi ladies, 
sorry been a bit quiet. Been busy packing boxes, and busy being dizzy. Got a bout of labyrinthitis yet again and was walking against the walls for few days as the floors were like foam and walls kept moving and even the ceiling was spinning. I HATE it! I get this about once a year, but this time wasn't too bad, there have been times when I've been taken to A&E by ambulance while vomiting all over the place due to the vertigo  
There was a short moment when I thought, hang on, maybe, just maybe the af was a fantom one and I actually am pregnant, as been rahter moody and even teary last few days, had a bout of dhiarrea (tmi, sorry)
and my lower back has been hurting, so bought a test, did it and for a second I thought I saw something,but no.nothing  
Honor- I missed your birthday... sorry...   anyway, hope it was a great one x
Karen- Sending you    and sticky vibes. Very glad for you, you got 2 fabtastico blasts making themselves home in there   
Kat- Aaw bless, poor poochie   Hope he's feeling better and more comfortable now x
Rache-   Hope you are well x
Maisie- Hope you feel better soon, honey x Any news of the offer? x
Everyone_    (sorry, really tired and my back hurts after bending back and front,climbing ladders to make sure nothings left behind... ohhh PHEW! Hard work)
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## 1972

Brill news Karen .   xxxxxxxx

Hanna - I've had that, it's the worst thing ever... I get it sometimes when I'm coldly too. Hope you feel better soon. Xx

Kat - poor pooch   mini mais is not good   been back to vets tonight, she's had reaction to drugs so had big skin flare up, scratched herself raw. Cuts got infected, so now on antibiotics, had her head and neck shaved to free up the wounds , is on steroids to stop the itching and had to stop the thyroid drugs for now. She's not put any weight yet, has lost bit more . So she's currently laying next to me with neck collar on feeling very sorry for herself . More blood tests ..

Rachel - saw your ******** pics, your litte boy is adorable  

Hi to everyone else.

Vendor didn't accept offer, we've gone in 2.5k more and thats final, final. He wants overnight to think about it and I'll have answer tomorrrow


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi Buds
Hope you are all well. 
Kat - sorry pup is not feeling himself - at least he will be looking v handsome post haircut.
Maisie - sorry maisie cat isnt well too. Hope she picks up soon, shes had some bad luck now having a reaction. Good luck with the house offer!
Hanna - hope the last of the packing goes ok and not too stressful. Ive had lab as well, not good. I tend to suffer with it when i travel long haul, never seems to go away completely.
Rachel - how was the retreat?
Karen - hey pupo lady. Hope those two little embies are snuggling in nicely. 
Carey - hows you and Oliver?
Hi Zedster!
Pooky - how are you and the pookettes?
Ma-me- good luck for your scan
Bell - you have given us all hope, you sound blissfully happy hope all is well.
Honor - how are you?

AFM - well its official i am PUPO, one blast on board. Just been to acupuncture and have had a lazy day resting this afternoon. I still have this hacking cough though which just isnt shifting. Ive been to the drs and he said he cant give me anything so i think i am just going to have to ride it out. Still have a sore throat which is easing but i cant help thinking i must have coughed this blast out. Its a shame everything seemed to be going a bit better this time and then i get ill right near the end. I guess i need to think that at least i had the chance to get to egg collection - if id been really ill i might have not been allowed sedation and that would have really messed things up. The embroyolgist was hopeful that 2 are good to freeze so far and there are a possible 3 which are a little behind so thats great, they are going to let me know tomorrow.
Thanks for all your well wishes buds, glad we are all still chatting on this thread.Reminds me ive been a bad bud, not had any cheesecake during this tx.

chat soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 


Hana that sounds awful, try and get help and dont try and do too much , it sounds like you are physically and metally exhausted.   when are you going home?  
Honor are you ok?
Rxx


----------



## rachel1972

hulagirl   that all sounds perfect!
Im just plodding along thanks for asking. Retreat was wonderful.


----------



## Nordickat

*Hula* - fab news. Stick tight wee bean.

*Curly* - I really hope your interviews are not as dull as the ones I am doing this week. One of the panel is so boring I was chewing my own arm off just now.

No day off yesterday for me after all and I'm running on empty  . And I decided to wear shoes today instead of boots for the first time since October because Spring was here, and now its blizzarding  .......... are you sure you want to move home *Hanna*?

Love to all, Katxxx


----------



## Nordickat

PS. Hula - pupster is a skinhead   . Hew always turns into a thug with a skinhead haircut


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I've been AWOL. I had a nice few days off and then yesterday, when I had planned to do proper personals, ended up getting in lots of work which unfortunately had to take priority.

Thanks for all the birthday wishes .

*ma-me*: How did your scan go today? Hope everything's looking good .

*Zoe*: ! Is your new profile pic your daughter? Am guessing so  - just gorgeous!

*Carey*: Good to hear from you and that you and Oliver are both doing well .

*maisie*: How are you feeling today? Hope you're feeling better .
Any news on your offer? Hope it's accepted .
Sorry to hear maisiemoo  is not doing very well . I hope the vet can come up with a new strategy for getting her well again.

*Kat*: Your post about pooch's haircut made me laugh . Hope he's not in too much pain...
Keep warm !

*Karen*: How are you doing PUPO lady ! So happy for you that everything has gone so well so far - hope it continues to do so too ! Are you back home now?

*rachel*: Did you enjoy your retreat?
Thanks for your PM .

*Curly*: Any more job news?

*Hanna*: Hope you're feeling better . What date is the big move?!

*Hula*:  on being PUPO! Hope you feel better soon .

*Squirrel*: Hope you're ok ?

 to anyone I've missed...

*AFM*: I feel I haven't been on here as much recently. I haven't been online on the laptop so much while I've been away and it's too fiddly to post properly from my phone, so sorry about that!
Luckily no more blood, cramping still on and off, but had been anyhow throughout, just hope everything is ok . Scan 2 weeks tomorrow - desperate for it to come round but also totally dreading it.
DH has a busy week this week with interviews. He had one yesterday and today was offered the job by e-mail. He's said yes for now but has a couple more this week and so isn't 100% committed until he's received a contract to sign, as really he'd prefer one of these other two he's going for, not least because of the location - the one he's been offered is in the back-end of beyond  (*Karen*: near Hof). Can't say I'm jumping for joy about it. With any luck he'll get an offer from one of the other two, which are in decent locations. 
So, still not sure when he's going to be back. What with that, my scare the other day and now dreading the thought of a move to the foreign equivalent of Pisswyth, I'm a little stressed out right now .

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi honor so sorry you are so stressed out, my retreat was ab fab and i cant recommend it enough, came home to grumpy hubby and testing child but heyho wouldnt be without them.  lots of love R xx


----------



## ma-me28

karen and hula fab news on being pupo. x x
maisie hope your offer gets accepted hun
kat hope you manage to get day off soon.x and that pooch likes his new hairdo!.
hanna hope you feel better soon.x sounds like you need a bit of a rest.
honor im sure the next 2 weeks will fly by hun for your scan and hopefully dh gets to come home soon. 
hugs to anyone else i have missed.

afm scan went ok already have bumper crop of follies prayin it produces nice crop of eggs this time, have had gonal f reduced again and advised to eat lots of protein as dr is concerned about me getting ohss. will know more friday now.x


----------



## ma-me28

just a quick question does ben and jerrys count for protein lol??


----------



## squirrel2010

Wooooooo hooooooo for the pupo ladies, nicely done xxxxxxxxx

Love to everyone else, will do personals in next day or two xxxxxxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Hello 

Ladies i know I have been crap but you are all in my thoughts daily, as I would not be here in sane state with out each and everyone of you .  xxx  I always  read on phone but can't always post on via a computer.

Ma - Me - Good luck with bumper crop and positive thoughts for juicy quality eggs.  B & J absolutely x   don't have ice cream whilst PUPOP as embryos like a warm baby palace x

Rachel - retreat sounds wonderful thought it is a shame that mood gets ruined as soon as you get home x

Honor - Happy belated birthday .... and good luck with scan on 2 weeks,  In the meantime... breathe 1...2....3


Kat -      at pooch with hairs stuck where they  shouldn't be xx you always make me laugh.  

Hula - congrats onbeing  PUPO         cling on xx

Maisemoo -hope you get your offer accepted and minnie maps gets better soon x

Hanna get better soon and good luck with move xx

Pooky - How are the pookettes?

Karen - wooh too lady, this treatment has been a total different experience for you I am so happy now concentrate on the two on board xx    

Curyone - How are you ?  Hope you aren't working too hard.x

Carey - big hug to you and Oliver xx

Bell 26 - xxx to you and your little family, i hope all infections have vanished xx

Squirrel - How are you hon?

Hello any buds I have missed.

AFM - Hated the hospital and had panic attacks in there as was so hot and was left, awful.. got home and all was fine and then Stanley stopped feeding off boob , MW scaring me and sending me top hospital my head all over place as infection, etc,  MW sent us to childens A & E on Sunday as she thought he should have out on weight by now, it was a room full of GERMS of all kinds and doc wasn't happy that she sent a healthy newborn up there. ... bit stressful especially with hormones. Oh and MW told me I got infection as obese (on day 4) and would I like to attend her obese clinic to discuss my relationship  food...nice thanks for that 

I am a slowly starting to feel human again and would like to thank you for your wishes welcoming Stanley into the world.  

I am keeping at eye on you all and you are always in my hearty and thoughts.

lots of love and positive thoughts until next time xxDx


----------



## rachel1972

Oh Dee my heart goes out to you, I so sorry your m.w has been so insensitive , i have to say the H.V  are a bit of an odd bunch too in my experience.  How are you now do you have an infection?  Hope you staying as focused on you and your baby love and light Rachelx

Hi to everyone else hope you are all ok.

mame I think icecream counts as potien why not?


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Rachel*: Glad you enjoyed your retreat . Are you planning another one?

*ma-me*: Any news? All sounds like it's going perfectly to plan . You'll be PUPO before you know it ! !
As for the Ben & Jerry's - go for it !

*squirrel*: How are you ?

*Dee*: Sounds like you've had such a stressful time, and for the most part unnecessarily - stupid health visitor . Am sure you are doing a fantastic job with Stanley, so don't let anyone get you down .

Hope our PUPO ladies *Karen* and *Hula* are doing well ! Keep us posted!

*Beady*: Are you lurking? How are things with you ? You must be due shortly ?

Love and  to *Kat*, *Lynn*, *Carey*, *Zoe*, *Hanna*, *maisie*, *Pooky* and anyone I've missed!

*AFM*: Still stressing , but less so . DH is going to try and hold off signing a final contract for the job to give some other places a chance to get back to him, as he's had/has more interviews for jobs he'd prefer (and in better locations ). I am, though, feeling more positive about the possibility of ending up there. Just missing him and being a general hormonal wreck !

xxx


----------



## Karen_S

HI Buds,

All well in my corner of the world - how are you all?

*Honor *- fingers crossed that DH finds something in a good location. Hof isn't that bad, and at least it's in the more-civilised "west". Hope you can stay calm and look after little-Honor.

*Ma-Me *- yes, Ben and Jerry's is a protein . IN fact, if it makes you happy, then it can be whatever you want it to be. I'm telling myself that my favourite cake over here is part of my 5-a-day. If it keeps me relaxed and thinking of things other than OTD, then it's all good!

*Hula *- Hi PUPO-pal. I hope you are relaxing and taking care of your new cargo. How are you feeling now? I hope the cold has eased up a bit. Fingers crossed for you.

*Dee *- you are a real sweetheart coming on here and posting when you have been having such a rough time.  I just want to smack that MW.  Can you find a new one? the last thing you need is stress right now. You have enough to do. BTW - I've seen you and you are NOT obese, not even close. that fat stupid MW is a waste of space. I hope little Stanley is eating OK now and that you are getting things under control. Hugs to you both.

*Kat *- have your feet recovered from the unexpected arctic conditions? Please stick to boots, and keep those feet warm. I'd hate to hear you've been hospitalized with frostbite. So, is work getting better? Should I just not ask? Love and hugs to you - oh, and some sunshine from sunny Dresden too. 

Sorry if I missed anyone, but time is not on my side. I need to eat lunch, then I'm off for a facial. I'm hoping it will help my hormonally ravaged skin. I feel like I could play connect-the-dots on my face.
I'm also not thinking about anything other that getting through each day with a smile. Not worth stressing or symptom-analysing or knicker-watching. Que sera sera. 
I'm PUPO, I'm PUPO I'm PUPO - and that's all that matters right now.

Love to you all and have a wonderful afternoon.
Karen 


_*
"All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope"*_


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds hows everyone bit quiet on here.

Honor, it has been an long time now, i feel for you, are you back home now, hope neo is giving you lots of attention?xx 

I did have another retreat i was considering but it clashes with dh SSR finally booked for the 23rd all papers signed so just got to get him there , Im doing alot of meditation and trying to not loose the good feeling.

Karen your are so right just enjoy being PUPO have a lovey facial, have to tell you though my skin is still not as it was before ethan so thats 5yrs on.xx

love and light R xx


----------



## ma-me28

honor hope dh is able to come home soon once perfect job has been found.x
karen glad you are doing ok and theres nothing wrong with cake lol i had been indulging in ben and jerrys saying its protein at least justifies it haha.x enjoy your facial.
rachel hope you are doing ok hun its good you have papers signed for dh ssr.x

afm scan went well lining not as thick and follies not as big as they have been but e/c all set for monday! so will be drug free sun   just waiting for a call tomorrow to find out when trigger shot is. think i might indulge in one last tub of ben and jerrys.x


----------



## 1972

Hi buds.

Good news- after 3 weeks of negotiating, the offer was accepted        , I'm so excited. First house that can be a project. Gives me something else to think about  

Mame- good news re trigger and ec   celebrate with some Ben & jerrys xxxx

Dee- mw sounds a nightmare, I've heard such good things about some and terrible about others. I hope you are feeling better and coping xxxxxx

Rachel - where did you go for your retreat ? X

Karen - loving the positivity honey, keep it up and those little ones will be settling in .   xxx

Kat - lots of love as always

Pooky - enjoy Florence . Did you find a window person in end ? I need one now  x

Squirrel -   hope you are coping ok honey, lots of love and thoughts xxxxxx

Honor - you are being very strong, I couldn't cope with dh being away this long.  

Hula - how you feeling pupo lady ?


----------



## ma-me28

maisie thats great news hun. x


----------



## Pookychops

Maisie - Florence was fab   my feet ache! Yes, found a cheap guy who is recommended and he's got a 01992 number so I'm guessing he lives out your way. He's fitting our windows at end of month. He did our neighbours house in 2006 and they've not had any probs.


----------



## Big hat

Morning buds,

Zedster, Carey and Squirrel - hello!  

Kat - nice to be overruled and be left to clear up the mess with your newest recruit (not).  yes, interviews are boring as all hell, particularly if accompanied with a limp handshake and an interviewer who is too wrapped up in their own opinions to listen to yours, and slags off your counterparts in ventures!!! Sorry about pooches willy.  I always think ours looks so little and scared as he bolts out of the groomers - mind you, that could be because they douse him in some god awful dog perfume and he is hightailing it to the first mound of poo he can find to roll in  ..... Look after yourself and don't let them work you too hard.  

Hanna - labyrinthitis sounds so scary - I've never heard of it before (and certainly don't want to experience it).  You must only have about a week left now.  Hopefully, all of these knocks of the past year will fade into a very distant memory once you are home  .

Rachel - your retreat sounds fabulous - a) does it come free and b) can you book me in?   

Maisie - hurrah on the house, and a project one to boot - love them ones.  Similar to Hanna, this move should give you a new start and chance to dust yourself off and look to the future. So sorry about little maisie - how awful!!!

Hula - hurrah on being pupo!!

Honor - glad you had a bit of quality time and tlc with your folks.  Things sound promising with DH, which must be such a boost to him - to have  few offers on the table after scratching around in England wondering what he must be doing wrong.  I bet when you see him you'll think he has grown an inch or two, with a spring in his step and a twinkle in his eye. xx

karen - like your attitude lady, seems like your just motoring along in a little glow.  I bet your beautician marvelled at how radiant your skin looked (well, apart from the teenage zits  )

Ma-me - good luck for Monday!!!

Gladys - your experience sounds truly horrible.  You are being put through the mill a bit at the moment.  It will pass, and you will be able to just be a mummy, with a healthy you and a healthy baby - it's just going to take a bit longer.   Job -hunting still going thanks, but have had a few interesting approaches that I am following up.  To be honest, I really can't wait to not have to sit scouring the websites and filling applications or compiling cover letters.  Oh for the days when I'm in a job and sitting bemoaning how boring it is and can't wait for the project to end  .  xx

Pooky - was it Florenc,e Italy or Florence and the Machine?

Think that's all - sorry if I've missed anyone off. Two applications, one cover letter, and a business plan to do - woo hoo, the weekend's here  

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Pookychops

Florence and the machine - very good but I needed a seat! Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping you get a job soon curlyone!


----------



## rachel1972

Maisie great news hope you are in soon.  retreat was in bradwell, essex will post details when there is another one.

HOpe everyone is having a good weekend.

afm finally got date sorted for the ssr 23rd march, just feel so much better.  

love and light to you all xxx


----------



## rachel1972

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2112897/Old-style-IVF-revives-dream-motherhood-women-turn-backs-newer-methods.html

/links


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds! 

Kat - sorry you didnt get you didnt get your day off.   hope you are getting on ok, sounds like your work arent being very supportive at all. hee hee your skinhead pup, hope his winky isnt causing him any annoyance anymore    is it still blizzarding?
Honor - hope DH gets more offers on the table soon in places you are keen to live. Hope 2 weeks will fly by for you for your scan and that DH is home by then. Im sure everything will work itself out in the next couple of weeks and the future will be clearer.
Rachel - glad your retreat was fab. Its a shame to come home sometime and things seem a bit rubbish, often we think they are worse because the time away has been so nice. Interesting article about create.
Ma-me  - loved your question about ben and jerrys ha ha!  Good luck for Ec on monday, wising you a bumper crop of eggs. Enjoy your drug free day tomorrow.
Squirrel - hey, how are you are?
Dee - ah bless you, hope you are ok. You must be glad to be home now, hospital didnt sound very good at all. Your midwife sounds awfulas well, so sorry you have had to put up with that. is there anyway you can change mw? Hows little Stanley doing now?
Karen - hey my pupo pal - how are you doing?hope your little embies are snuggling in tight, any symptoms to report, its so hard not to be thinking and wondering whats going on inside all the time? How was your facial? i could def do with some tlc too.Just concentrating for the moment on trying to keep up the fluids and get better, still not feeling the best.
Maisie  - fab news on the offer being accepted, so pleased for you!! So exciting to have a project, is there much of a chain? Hope it all goes smoothly and that you can move in no time at all.
Pooky - glad you enjoyed Florence, i need to get the newest album.
Curly - hope you are getting on ok with your business plan and applications, they take so much time to do and they are utterly boring. Business plan sounds more exciting though, what are you planning? Hope you get a job soon or that you can start something of your own.

Hi to anyone i have missed  

AFM - Im feeling a bit better, my cough is no way as bad as it was, just feel so gutted that im normally so well and this has to hit me at this point of my cycle. Really hope my little embie is doing ok, cant help symptom spotting!  . Been to acupuncture today and planning to have a relaxing rest of the weekend, how boring but i have a huge pile of paperwork to go through, may as well do it while i am trying to not do too much. I am my own worst enemy at home sometimes, i can always find too much to do!

Anyway hope everyone is ok
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Curly - hello xxxx hope you are orating job paperwork out and   for a positive outcome for you xxx

Hula - house is chain free as are we   hope you are feeling better soon, and fingers crossed. Xxxxx

Rachel - that article s interesting, I've heard a lot of feedback about lower doses on IVF as you get older.

Hula - good luck for tomorrow xxxx

Karen - Hows the 2ww?!?!

Hi to pooky, Kat, squirrel, mame, honor,Dee and anyone else I've missed. Xxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi buds 

Hula sounds like you remaining quite sane, when is your otd?

very quiet on here hope it cos you are all enjoying the sunhine.

Love and light Rxx


----------



## Nordickat

MaMe-good luck tomorrow. Hope those follies do you proud.


----------



## Pookychops

Good luck tomorrow ma-me! May you have a high quality crop that divide and conquer.

Hello to our pupo ladies  


Squirrel - hope you ok.

Maisie - I hope furry Maisie is starting to recover!

Not much to report here - just been costing up renovations and struggling to work out what colour to paint the hall! Going to go for a stripey carpet up the stairs - having to go for cat proof options as the little monkeys like to claw the carpet. 20 week scan on Wednesday - bit scared about it but will keep you all posted!


----------



## 1972

Good luck mame!!

Thinking of you Karen ( don't know when OTD is .. )    

Pooky - not long now! Will you find out sexes ?

Hula - when's your OTD    

Honor - ive realised ive missed cheesecake deadline With form. Can you resend please as think I've deleted..

Hope you are all well.. House has sold sign and is off rightmove so thats a good sign. Spent hours yesterday sorting out papers for mortgage, filing etc and doing work   I think the next few months will be hectic. Meanwhile .. I'm going to get copy of notes from clinic and contact serum, create and lister to get ideas and take from there... After reviewing options re house we have no money for IVF so it's going to be interest free credit card.l


----------



## Carey

Karen - hows 2 wk wait going hun...  OTD very soon xxx

Hula - hows ur 2wk waiting going too? Ur in ur last wk? Xxx

Ma-me - good luck with EC today, fingers crossed for a bumper crop hun xxx

Maisie - glad to hear all is going through with the house.... do u have a rough moving date yet? Xx

Dee - hope u & Stanley are ok? Xx

Pooky - is ur scan this wk hun? Xx

Kat - hope ur ok hun? Xx

Honor - how are u hun? All going ok? Xxx

Sorry to those I've missed, best go as Oliver is stirring for a feed. 
Love to u all xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I didn't get a chance to post over the weekend; back home now.

*Karen*: Loving the  attitude! It's great you're being so calm about it all! How was the facial?

*rachel*: Great news that you have a date and are all ready to go for DH's SSR ! Must be a relief to have a date and know you're that one step closer . Keep up the meditation!

*ma-me*: I expect I'm a little too late with the  wishes for EC today... sorry... Hope it went well !

*maisie*:  on your new home! So pleased you got there in the end! I bet you can't wait to get in and get it all sorted ready for that perfect little addition to your family ! Having something else to take your mind off ttc/tx will probably be a really good thing, but it sounds like you've made a start on plans for your next cycle, which is great . Fingers crossed this is your year when it all falls into place .
Hope maisiemoo  is doing ok ?
I'm WAY behind with the Cheesecake Project again... I'll resend the e-mail to everyone with a new deadline.

*Pooky*: You had me confused too! I was _sure_ I didn't remember you saying anything about going to Florence, Italy! Glad you enjoyed Florence the concert though !
 for your scan Wednesday! I'm sure all will be just perfect .

*Curly*: My DH would 100% sympathise with you on the


> scouring the websites and filling applications or compiling cover letters


 front . I'm sure it'll all be worth it in then end . Certainly sounds like things are happening .
Unfortunately DH has only the 1 offer on the table - better than nothing though! I just spoke to him and he said the draft contract hadn't arrived and he was thinking of phoning them to chase them up but I think I persuaded him to hold off another day so that it buys him more time waiting to hear back from another interview he had last week (although he wasn't overly keen about the job/company) and to have the 2 he's got this week, 1 of which he really wants but isn't until Friday.

*Hula*: Glad you're feeling better . Hope you can manage to stay calm, I know how hard it is though!
Thanks for your kind words . I know it'll all be worth it in the end, just finding it hard with him so far away... I'm bad enough when he needs to stay overnight anywhere, let alone be apart from him for over 1 month !

*Kat*: ! How are you doing, lovely *Kat Bud* ?

*Carey*: Lovely to hear from you . You seem to have everything well under control, being able to find the time and energy to post to us despite having a new born baby in the house !

*AFM*: Got back yesterday evening to a very quiet, lonely house . Luckily Ned arrived home not much later and was so, so pleased to see me, it was lovely . My stressing about what's going to happen with Ned when we move may be very nicely resolved, as my parents have said they may take him for us. That would be perfect, as then I'd know for definite he was going to a good home and still be able to keep tabs on him and see him. We'd just have to work out how to get him up north from here when we don't have a car and my Mum would never drive down...
Waiting on a big job to come in, which is good. It's been good it's been a bit delayed, as that's meant I've had time to sort out washing, go food shopping and sort through masses of post etc., but I wish it'd hurry up and arrive now so that I can get on with it !

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

why doesn't work come in when it's supposed to?! Last week agreed to take on X number of words on a long copy-editing project this week; go-ahead to be confirmed today. Go-ahead confirmed but files yet to transpire. Job is through old company in Germany, and not their fault client dragging their heels, but it's just meant I hung on all morning waiting for files to arrive before, after lunch, logging in to my usual source of work, but nothing much going today. Will be fine to do less words because of delay but point is I feel like I've wasted the day and am B O R E D!!! 

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

evening all just quick post am in slight shock ec went well and amazingly we got 17eggs i did check this couple of times as i was sure they would say it was a mistake.x just got to wait til tomorrow for fertilisation results. we decided to celebrate by going to burger king


----------



## Pookychops

Well done ma-me! That's fab news.  Let's hope they get jiggy overnight and you get lots of fertilised eggs tomorrow!


----------



## Nordickat

Good work ma-me  Now rest up ready for getting those babies back where they belong.
Katxxx
PS. How on earth did you make it to burger king after ec, I can barely make it to the sofa!


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening buds  
Ma-me - fantastic news on your eggs, thats great. Hope you get good fertilisation and some quality embies,keep us posted. Did they warn you about OHSS? Sounds like you should be upping your fluids just in case as 17 is a quite a few.
Maisie - even better that there is no chain, fingers crossed for a smooth ride. all takes such a lot of time doing paperwork and even worse dealing with solicitors and estate agents. Shouldnt generalise but on the whole solicitors and estate agents can make things a bit difficult during the process.
Rachel - trying to keep sane, otd is at the weekend yikes! getting some cramping today so im hoping its not the witch on her way...
Pooky - good luck for your scan on wednesday, how exciting - are you going to find out sex? Carpet sounds nice, very trendy! would be interested to hear about your cat proof options, ours seem to like ripping up the stair carpet but luckily it needs replacing. Although it doesnt bode well for getting a new one- shame we are out all day as we cant discipline them!
Carey - hi!   ah hope little Oliver is doing well, you sound like you have everything under control.
Honor - did you get the form i sent you? Had printer issues so it took me a while ! Hope Dh gets more offers soon. Ned hasnt posted on here for a while  - jobs can be so frustrating at times, esp when you feel like you have wasted time. 
Karen - how you getting on?
Hanna - i have a feeling you will be off in the next few days - good luck! If we dont hear from you before hand next time you might be posting from Finland?!

AFM - feeling much better today although getting cramping which i dont like the feel of, stay away AF! I wish i had kept a diary of last time to remember the 2ww. I will be doing it for this time.
ooh these cyclogest pessaries are just so rank!
Anyway hope everyone is well, chat soon
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## ma-me28

hula just for you,   for your bfp at the weekend and im always warned about ohss due to the amount of follies i produce but am drinking as much as possible.
karen hope you are doing ok cant be long til your otd.
kat thanks hun and i think its to do with clinic doing a fab job that i felt well soon after having procedure done.x
honor hope you got work sorted.x
maisie all the best with your new house.x
carey hope you and oliver are well.x
hi to anyone ive missed.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*ma-me*: Congrats on your bumper crop ! Let us know when you've had the call - am sure it'll be fab news !

*Hula*: Cramping isn't necessarily bad news - I still get cramping now! Hope it's cramping of the positive variety ! 
Yes, I did get your form, thanks! I will *try* and get more organised with the book preperations at the weekend - sorry am dragging my feet again, everyone .

 to everyone else.

*AFM*: Job FINALLY just arrived so should now get on with that!

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Hula - cramping is bound to be babies snuggling in tight.
ma-me - i hope my divide and conquer vibes reached the lab for you
karen - hope your babies are snuggling in too.
Squirrel - thanks for being there.
Everyone else -   mushy brain means I have forgotten what else I wanted to say.

I have a tiny wee confession to make. I am back in the nuthouse again   . I thought I would be out again by now so I wasn´t going to say anything but it seems I´m in for the long haul this time. I am on the move later though to an open ward which means much therapy    and if I´m a good girl I can go home at weekend   . Although, being good is not as easy as you all think when you are bonkers   . 


Love to you all, 
Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

Kat, bless, you know you do make me smile, even when things aren't going quite the way you want at the moment.  Please don't think you are bonkers, you are just viewing the world from a different angle at the moment, and what's wrong with that?  I am in no doubt that you will be analysing the people in the open ward for your own amusement - just think, more skinny hoodies, in their slouchies hats, 'doing' rehab - there'll be opportunities for mirth aplenty.  

As an aside, someone quite close to my heart had a breakdown with bells and whistles; she even started speaking with a Mediterranean accent for a while (unintentionally), and I have to admit I did find it quite amusing  . She is now possibly the most together person I know, and you just feel a real warmth in her presence so, good can come from whatever it is we have to go through.

For god's sake though, please don't lose your sense of humour    .

Sorry everybody else, need to get back to job hunting, will post personals later.

xx


----------



## ma-me28

just made phonecall we have 10 embryos i still cant quite believe it will be having blast transfer on sat.x


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

Ma-me that is wonderful news keep up the burgers as protien is so esential.  

honor glad you are busy wit work.

Hula so glad you are still sounding in a good place , roll on the weekend not long to go. 

love and light to all xx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - for some reason when you talk about being naughty I have visions of you going around and flashing your boobs! No idea why and it's not some odd fantasy I have either! it prob stems from when my Nan's dementia got bad, she would lift up her skirt and spin round with her knickers on show!

I hope they are helping you in there. Take the time you need to get better and make yourself strong again.

Ma-ma - that's fab news   may they continue to divide and conquer!

Karen - how are you getting on? 

Hello to everyone else   and   to you all


----------



## 1972

Great new mame!

Kat - you do make m e laugh   I know I shouldn't..... I'm sorry you are back in there and hope it will be a short burst...   xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

mame - thats fab news. You, hula and karen all did so much better this time around and we all know how things come in 3s. I have a good feeling about all of you. A triple celebration in a couple of weeks I reckon.

Curly - sadly no amusing tales yet and not a hoodie in sight, although there was one girl in a wooly hat the whole time. There was one old dear who I never saw wear any trousers all week who adopted me as her best friend today and having a half naked incontinent muttering shadow is a tad disturbing I can tell you! I´m now in the open ward and they all seem ´normal´ although we wouldn´t be here if we were so I´ll keep you posted  

Pooky - I´ve not flashed anyone yet but I have proved that a safety pen (as in a biro you can safely give nutters) isn´t safe ..... that´ll teach em   

Maisie - I´d rather hear you were laughing than crying.

The psychiatrist (who blew me a kiss when she left today - is that normal?!?) thinks I have a morbid sense of humour which I´m kind of hoping got lost in translation somehow. She did say one thing I sort of liked though - only the strongest people suffer from breakdowns. The weakest don´t even take on the challenge, the stronger fight for a while before they give in, but only the strongest get into this mess because we refuse to give up before its too late ...... something to be proud of maybe   If any of you think you are having a rubbish day tomorrow, remind yourselves it could be worse, you could be in group therapy with me tomorrow!


Love to everyone


----------



## 1972

I do think there's an element of truth in that Kat... You put up a fight, wont give in, question everything ..like you say, your so strong fighting it, it's then too late..

I so seriously think I teeter on the edge sometimes... Something's just holding me back. Denial still and house buying  

Big hugs, lots of love. You WILL do this, it doesn't define you and you won't let it win . Keep strong lady xxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Just a very quick one, *Buds*, to say:

 to *ma-me* - great news !

And:

 to *Pooky* for your scan today! I'm sure everything will be perfect, and am looking forward to hearing all about it !

Love to everyone else , and special  for those in need!

Kind of snowed under with work...

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Afternoon ladies,

Scan went well and they are both measuring the correct size for 20 weeks. It looks like we have one of each 

Hospital still doesn't seem to know what it's doing. Sonographer asked me why I hadn't had a 16 week scan and why I wasn't booked in for 24 week scan. They still have me on the system as a singleton pregnancy! Then I asked midwife and she said that I wouldn't have a 24 week scan! Am very annoyed with hospital. Seeing consultant tomorrow to sort it all out or tell them where they can stuff their care and I'll switch to another hospital!


----------



## Honor77

One of each! How exciting, *Pooky*!

Less so on your hospital's "care" .

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

i know ! I'm still worked up about their inconsistencies and it takes away the joy and happiness I should be feeling! I can feel another rant coming on! Grrr I just get so worked up by them!


----------



## Honor77

Don't, I'm nervous enough about next Thursday as it is !!

xxx


----------



## 1972

Great news pooky !!!!!! 

Honor - don't worry    xx

I've made a small in road ladies... I'm looking into create for mild IVF. Good for us oldie poor responders. Am going to an open day in april and  booked to see consultant for 3 Doppler scan.. Whats a doppler anyone ?   starting the ideas ball rolling, will see what they suggest. Mild IVF more like 3 grand a pop so can get 2 for price of 1  

Special hugs to Karen, Kat and squirrel.. Hope your ok Karen.   xxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi all
Ma-me glad all ok, congrats on your bumper crop, may your 10 embies carry on from strength to strength. Good luck for saturday!
Honor - trying to stay postive re cramps but its so hard as everyone will know. 2ww feels like its dragging!
Kat - aww sorry to hear you are back in there. Like everyone is saying you are not bonkers - just viewing from a diff angle and your therapist is right about only strong people having breakdowns. Remember this if you are feeling down or hopeless, and you will get through it, i really feel for you and i hope its doing some good and helping you. I hope you can get out at the weekend too and have a change of scene. what sort of therapy do you have? what are the other patients like?any talent?!  big hugs to you, thinking of you.  remember no boob flashing!
Hi Rachel - keep meaning to ask how Ethan is doing? did you ever take him back to nursery to try it again?
Pooky - so pleased your scan went well, and how cool to have a boy and a girl. sorry your hospital have been rubbish, i hope they get their act together or that you can change.
Maisie - great news about create, hope your open day comes round quickly and that you can get back on with tx. I think a doppler is an ultrasound ?
Karen - hope everything is ok with you. got everything crossed for you.  

hi to everyone else. 

AFM - still having cramping and everytime i visit the bathroom i dread what i am going find. This 2ww is just dragging like anything. My first cycle i didnt really know what to expect so i dont remember being too worried and looking into every twinge and cramp. oh well not long to go. nothing i can do about it so i will keep calm and carry on. Going to acupuncture tomorrow and the rest of the week not much on. Thinking of booking a post cycle holiday if bfn - i guess every cloud.....but it aint over till the fat witch sings! 

chat soon darling buds
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 

Hula Please stay optimisic!!  xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Break time .

*maisie*: You sound so much more "together" and optimistic about your next cycle . It's great you've started looking into options and have an initial plan - a planning plan . And great if you find you're interested in the mild IVF, that it's going to be the way forward for you, if it also means it'll be around half the price! No idea what a Doppler scan is! I know that a Doppler is what you use to listen to heartbeats, if that's got anything to do with it ?

*Hula*: How are you today? Hope the  is keeping well away and things are still looking promising . I know how hard it is to remain positive. I think it's especially hard with cramps, as we always automatically associate them with "bad news". They don't have to be though and I'm keeping everything crossed for you that this time they are good news cramps !
Enjoy your accupuncture today, and relaxing rest of week. You're certainly doing all the right things for that positive result .

*rachel*: ! Not long now until your DH's SSR. Hope he's ready and willing to "perform"!

*Karen*: Hope you're keeping sane(ish). Thinking of you... 

 for everyone else.

*AFM*: 1 week today we will know our "fate" . Looks like my mum will be accompanying me, as DH now has 2 interviews next week - 1 the day before the scan and 1 on the actual day. 
He still hadn't received the draft contract and so yesterday chased that up, but in a way it's good they're taking their time to send it, as it gives him more time to have some more interviews for jobs he'd prefer. 
THE interview is tomorrow. I SO hope he gets it, as he's very, very keen and so deserves to land his perfect job. 
I think he's kind of reluctant to sign anything for the one he's been offered, as the job market is so good there at the moment and the more time he's had to think about it, the less sure he is about the job/location (we've been there before where he's taken a job because he needed one and we ended up spending 18 very miserable months regretting ever having moved there). I think he hopes to get at least one more offer in the next week or so so that he can take that instead. In any case, I hope that everything will be sorted within the next week - 2 weeks so we can finally know what's happening and when and he can finally come home!

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - the doppler scan will check your blood flow to your endo. The use it to make sure your embies will get all they need to snuggle in tight. If there isn´t enough blood flow around there then you´ll get some extra meds. Its fab news that you have that option.


Honor - pass my good luck wished to your DH for THE interview tomorrow.


 to the PUPO trio


Pooky - fab news about 2 healthy wee ones.


Love to everyone else   


As for crazy old me well, I had a good day yesterday    and today has been, and continues to be hard, really hard   . But I´m allowed home for the night on Saturday and you have no idea how much I´m looking forward to my puppy cuddles ......... oh and a cuddle from DH too   .


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello beautiful ladies

Kat - so glad you can go back to pooch and dh saturday - what incentive to be good  . Naughty re biro, little ticking off from me but overall huge hugs, support and strength. Not one of us can know how to help, but we all care an awful lot and you are way too important to not get through this xx

Karen and Hula - hope tww goes so very quickly and hope so very much for you both that this is the one. You both deserve it xx

Pooky - amazing, you lucky lucky girl xx

Honor - bet you cry your eyes out in joy when you see your baby at the scan xx

Maisie - you sound great! Love your plan about mild ivf, very pleased for you about house moving forwards! Hope cat improving, do let me know. Agree with kat - doppler all about checking blood flow to your uterus, it is weird when you hear the pulses going to your womb! Xx

Curly - just want your perfect job to turn up!   xx

Rachel - hope all well your end xx

Mame - awesome embryo count! Nicely done and hope OHSS stays away xx

Everyone - sorry for being awol, miss you all and hope all ok. Thanks honor for the text - reminded me about the lovely support on here and .i shouldnt stay away. Trying to stay on my perch. You would be proud - been to baby shop to buy nappies and all the sundries for my sister, as her and new baby visiting and staying til saturday. Been the perfect aunty, looked after baby so sis could sleep, being as helpful as poss. Good news is baby is lovely and i vow i willnot stop until i have one. Bad news, am coping well so i feel a melt down coming once she goes home. For now, helpful aunty persona to continue, even if i feel like i am wobbling on a precipice. Love to all xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

It's very quiet on here at the moment - hope everyone's ok ?

*Kat*: So glad you've had two good days in a row, and hope that today has also been a good one for you . Great that you're going to be allowed home tomorrow night to see pooch, and DH, of course .
Thank you for your good luck wishes for DH's interview today. I just spoke to him and he said he thought it went ok, but it's obviously hard to tell. He was one of 3 people being interviewed for the job, so I think knowing that made him more nervous, but hope it didn't affect his performance, and that they are not interviewing anyone else . Really hope they were impressed with him and liked him, as I know how much he wants this one .

*squirrel*: Lovely to see you on here again . Obviously we always love to hear from you and chat with you, but equally understand when you need to take a little break from posting.
Sounds like you're coping admirably with your sister's stay and baby . It's great that seeing her baby has made you realise that they are adorable and that your current situation won't affect how you feel about them (btw: is it a boy or a girl?) and that it has strengthened your resolve to fight on to have your own adorable little baby. I'm certain that you will get there too . Keep brave .

I think next week is an important week for many of us, and I hope that it will bring posts full of good news : *Karen* and *Hula* for OTD, *ma-me* for ET (or is that scheduled for this weekend ?), *Rachel* for DH's SSR... Hope I haven't forgotten any imporant dates for anyone?! Sending lots of  and  all round!

*AFM*: Have had a busy few days with work, which has been great for earning the pennies and passing the time. Hoping to get in 2-3 good days of work next week before Mum arrives on Wednesday. Also hoping DH will get some news re. today's interview, and good news at that !

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hey honor glad you are managing to stay busy, im so impressed by your posts your brain has not been effected yet by pg by the looks of it xx

hello to everyone else xx


----------



## Honor77

Don't say that, *Rachel* - I'll panic that's another symptom I'm lacking !!!

I think working from home makes it easier for me to post when I take breaks - a good distraction from work .

Hope all's well with you and that you have a good weekend!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

sorry honor , i actually thought that you might think that but it was a compliment.x


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - I don't have baby brain yet. I seem to have this incredibly focused mind that is obsessed with lists! Makes a change for me - I normally rely on memory and let it all go horribly wrong  

Honor. - you will be fine - I get all nervous before each scans nd the first is the most nerve wracking! Just make sure you are holding your mums hand when they do the scan and tell you what's going on. In some scan rooms you can see the screen but in others you can't and you have to wait for them to show you.

I've made a decision - we're gonna switch hospitals. I called the gp earlier and hopefully will hear from him next week. I feel a lot better for deciding to do it. Barnet are awful and when I said to them that I was concerned about having my babies there after their inconsistencies they didn't even try to calm me or reassure me that they were any good. Stuff them!

Hope everyone is ok and our pupo ladies are doing well.

Love and hugs xxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi

Pooky - don't blame you for changing, that doesn't sound good. 

Honor - try not to get too anxious, I know it must be hard.   x

Kat -   enjoy your weekend hugs with pooch.. and of course dh   xx try and come back, we miss you x

Squirrel - you are being very brave re your sisters baby. Well done you. It will be good practice for when you have yours xxx mini mais still not great. Another week on steroids to clear up skin, it's getting there, she'd put on a tiny bit of weight, so that was good news. Back again weds to discuss trying other thyroid drug instead.

Hi to everyone else.we are being jolly quiet.

Afm - mortgage approved in principle, solicitor got all paperwork, all ok so far. I've got my scan all booked with create, open day booked, notes ordered from original clinic. I don't know what my plans are, I want to weigh things up. AF came with a vengeance last night   they are horrific now, i went to bed early as was in so much pain, they are so heavy I just can't cope.. Being a girl sucks !!!


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - I´m always around and about and certainly always on email/pm so no need to miss me   . I don´t post so much because I´m trying not to think too much about tx itself and also not a lot happens in my life right now  . I´ll have loads to tell you once I am out but talking about what happens in here feels like a betrayal to my fellow nutters! I´d love an email chat though   . Fab news about your house and mortgage etc - a new start hey? And then new tx on top of that ...... who knows where that may lead. Sorry your af is so horrid   . Be brave and I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Pooky - good for you switching hospitals - those little treasures desserve nothing but the best.

Honor - Of course his interview went well, it was my lucky vibes that did it.

Squirrel - you are such a star   

Karen and Hula - Deep breaths both of you. Nearly there now. Thinking of you and hoping and praying and all sorts for you.

mame - good luck today. Looking forward to hearing how many little fighters you have on board. Enjoy a restfull and self indulgent weekend.

Rachel and Curly -   I hope you have a nice weekend too.

DH is coming to get me in 43 minutes - not that I am counting. I am saving my shower until I get home and I am soooooooo looking forward to shaving my legs   . One of the worst parts of incarceration in not being alllowed a razor! Iam actually allowed one now but I keep forgetting to ask DH for one. The other thing I am looking forard to is packing my own clothes for next week. I seriously haev no idea where DH found some of the stuff he has delivered me this week. He must move all of my nice stuff out of the way so he can rummage in the back for all my old stuff! I had some of my gold stars removed this morning because I haven´t done my homework! I´m supposed to write a list of my good qualities and I can´t get beyond the being a failure thing so I still haven´t managed to think of anything good about being me   . Ho hum, only 37 minutes left and then I am officially allowed to take a break from being me for 36 hours    ......... I have to sit down with the nurse when I get back though and write ´the list´ though which is hardly and incentive to come back!

Maisie - see, I only write long winded drivel so nothing to miss when I´m gone anyway   

Love to you all, 
Katxxx

PS. 34 minutes now


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds

kat have a lovely time at home with the puppy and dh xx

Maisie sorry your feeling so bad with the af hope you feel better soon.xx

Pooky wise move , i changed hospital at about 35wks. 

btw i still have baby brain!  

Karen thinking of you and Hulagirl. 

love and light to all xxx


----------



## 1972

Kat - here's some stuff for your list...... You are a great friend , you are a good listener, you are supportive, you are funny with a great sense of humour, you are compassionate , you are brave. That'll do for now or you will get all big headed..     I can give examples if you need  

Enjoy your weekend and shaving your legs xxxxxx


----------



## ma-me28

hi all 
pooky one of each how perfect good on you for changing hospitals.x
honor not long til your scan now you will see your little miracle.x
kat hope you have a lovely weekend at home with dh and pooch.x
maisie sorry af is being horrible, glad you are making progress with regards to the house and with future tx.
karen and hula not long now.x

afm im now officially PUPO have 2 blasts on board, just need to distract myself for 2wks now but have a book to read and lots of films to watch on laptop.x


----------



## rachel1972

Ma-me sounds like a very good transfer.xx   
come on little embies!!


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations ma-me! May they divide and conquer and bless you with two little heartbeats!  How about going for a walk on horsey beach to look for seals? Not sure if they are still there now though.

Kat - enjoy your freedom! Maybe give dh a lesson is the clothes you wear while you're there. As for good qualities - good at giving advice, lovely person to natter to, not afraid to stand up for yourself, has a good sense of humour and are just a very nice person


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi Buds
Just a very quick one from me, hopefully do personals tomorrow and sorry its taken me all day to get on here.
Well im very cautious about saying it but i think its a positive, i dont like to say bfp as the line wasnt that dark and with everything last time and having a chemical preg im not getting too excited. Going to test again tomorrow and probably deplete the countries supply of hpt! Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for me and i will keep you updated.
love to all and thanks everyone for being amazing
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Mame - fab news    

Hulav- whoop hoooo , everything crossed for you     xxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

brilliant news Hula keep us all posted xx


----------



## Pookychops

Hula - fingers crossed that line is getting darker. When is your official test date?


----------



## 1972

Happy mothers day to all our mums on here .....

I'm feeling bit sad today


----------



## ma-me28

hula keeping everything crossed im sure the line will get darker.x 
maisie . x
karen any news yet?
big hello and big hugs to everyone else.x


----------



## rachel1972

Oh Maisie


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* , and Happy Mother's Day to all *Bud mums*, *Angel Bud mums*, *Bud mums to be* and *Bud mums in waiting* .

Firstly:  to *Hula*! I'm sure that line will get darker . I would though try and hold off testing for a couple more days to be more sure of a more accurate result . I know it's hard to resist though! When is/was your OTD?

And  to *ma-me* too - so exciting that you're now PUPO with 2 fab blasts !

*rachel*: Don't worry about it - most days (ok, every day ) I'm panicking over the lack of one symptom or another . Today, after a few days feeling exhausted, I seem to feel "normal" energy wise, so that's today's panic !

*Pooky*: Good on you deciding to switch hospitals . I hope the changeover goes smoothly and you'll be much happier with the care you'll receive from your new hospital. Which hospital are you changing to?

*maisie*: I can well understand how you're feeling sad today... I'm sure though that your baby is out there somewhere waiting to join you very soon . I hope the  is at least being "kinder" to you today and that DH is looking after you well .
Great news on the mortgage approval . And great news on your next step tx plans . Every really is starting to fall into place - believe .

*Kat*: I hope you're enjoying your time at home. Have you done anything in particular or are you just making the most of some time in your own home?
I echo the others' comments re. your good qualities: kind, thoughtful, sensitive, a good friend, a good listener, a good giver of advice, intelligent, funny, brave... 

*Karen*: How are you bearing up ?

*AFM*: So, after flagging in town after not long at all yesterday and going to bed at 9:30 last night, I've been full of energy this morning and have cleaned the whole house! It desperately needed doing, and with Mum coming down on Wednesday and Dad on Friday, it's a good job done . Ned wasn't as keen on the cleaning though and spent the whole time hiding under the sofa! He's now lieing on my lap watching me type this and sends kitty kisses to all *Buds* and their fur babies .

 to all,

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

afternoon all its gone very quiet on here hope everyone is ok.
big hugs to all.x


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds 
Ma-me how are you when test date?
afm had inlaws over for dinner yesterday and feel a bit hungover.
L&L R x


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Yes, very quiet on here at the moment... Hope everyone's ok ?

Any news *Hula* and *Karen*? Anyone else?

*AFM*: Having a fairly nice Monday - Mondays are definitely better when you work for yourself!
Ned is at the vet tomorrow for neutering . Hope I can get him into the cat carrier ok!

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Karen_S

Hi Buds,

Thanks for all your positive vibes, kind words and finger-crossing...but it was all in vain.

BFN on 2 pee sticks and confirmed with a blood test today. HCG was so low that there was no sign that anything had worked at all. This is has once again been a complete waste of time, emotion and money.

I'm tired, empty, devastated and just want to curl and up and disappear.

Sorry I can't post any personal, but just coming on here and posting this has taken me all day to work up to.

Good luck to everyone - 'cause ain't no luck coming my way...


----------



## Honor77

Oh *Karen*, so sorry to hear your news . Know there's nothing I can say to make you feel any better right now. Please look after yourself and DH, take all the time you need but know where we are if you need us...

Had just been popping on to say that I'd just had a lovely Skype chat with *Kat* who was sounding well. She sends her love to everyone.

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

karen i am sorry hun.x


----------



## Pookychops

Karen - so so sorry     I was so hopeful that it would work for you this time. Big hug of love coming your way


----------



## 1972

Oh Karen honey.... I'm so very very sorry to hear that. I've sent you a message. Lots of love


----------



## rachel1972

Karen really sorry to hear that, hope you are ok.  xx


----------



## Gladys07

Karen I am so sorry xxxxxx


----------



## Twinklie

So sorry Karen...


----------



## Big hat

Oh karen, I am so completely and utterly gutted for you.  Sending you a massive   and thinking of you. xxxxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Karen     , just wish we could say or do something to help. Hang in there and know you are not alone. We are thinking about you xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Curly*: You've been quiet of late. Hope everything's ok ?

 to *Dee* and *Twinklie*!

*Rachel*: Is DH all set for tomorrow? Will you be going along with him? Hope it all goes well .

*maisie*: How's maisiemoo  doing at the moment?
Any more mortgage news?

*squirrel*: Was lovely to catch up on Skype earlier (what a great invention !). Sorry I had to run. Hope you got through some of your organising jobs. Am going out in an hour or so to collect Ned, but am still logged on to Skype if you wanted to chat more .

*Pooky*: Hope you're keeping well .

*ma-me*: Hope you're managing to keep sane !

*Hanna*: Are you in Finland now? Hope you arrived safely and are settling back into life in Finland .

*Karen*: Special  for you again today...

And for *Kat* too: .

Sorry if I've missed anyone... .

*AFM*: Ned has been at the vets today for neutering. Got the phone call before to say the op had gone well and he'll be ready to collect any time after 4 .
Mum arriving tomorrow but I'm hoping to work most of the day, so will be around to catch up and post .
DH has 2 interviews coming up, tomorrow and Thursday, so please cross all fingers and toes for some good job news soon    !

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor 

Not til Friday. 

Glad Ned is ok.xx


----------



## Honor77

Sorry... I keep thinking everyone with important things happening this week has them happening Wednesday . So, it's just 2 people (not Cheesecake Gang members) with important things tomorrow, you Friday and another non-Cheesecake-er next week...

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

and your day is Thursday, yes im going as he wont be able to drive back got babysitter coming to our house at 6.30 am , should be fun LOL


----------



## Honor77

Wow, a very early start! What happens next after SSR?

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

go for consultation follow up if there are any fishies.


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Karen - so sorry hun, everything seemed to be different this time, had everything crossed for you   Hope you and DH are ok.
Honor - whats the news on DH job - are they pressing him to sign the contract yet? wow i cant believe your scan is nearly here!
Kat - how was your weekend at home? Hope you managed to find some of your nice clothes - men can never find anything - i think its in their genes! my DH was asking me the other day where a book was and  i could see it from the doorway, right in front of his nose! likewise i can put a list together of your good points!  you have been such a support to us all on here.
Squirrel - bless you re your sister and being the perfect aunty, i like your determination,you will get there.
Pooky - good for you on changing hospitals. Im glad you have made a stand, its a real shame though as it should be a really joyful time and they are making issues that shouldnt be cropping up.
Maisie - great news  on the mortgage and also on booking in at create -good luck!
Rachel - hi how you doing? all go for you as well. is SSR an operation with a GA?
Ma-me - congratulations on being pupo! thats great news, hope the 2ww passes quickly for you. good luck

AFM - my official test date was saturday when i first tested and i did another HPT on sunday and line was darker which looked more hopeful then bought a clearview which i did this morning and it says 2-3 weeks which is great news. phoned the clinic and am booked in for a scan early April.Still cant quite believe it and am being quite cautious as not got this far before - yikes what a shock i was convinced it hadnt worked because i had been so ill. 
Will keep you all updated
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Fantastic news, *Hulagirl* ! I totally understand you being cautious about it - despite having done 6 HTPs and missed 3 periods, I am still convinced it's all in my head and daren't get excited until I've seen some concrete proof ! At least you won't have such a long wait until you can get a scan, although I know it will still feel like the time's dragging... 
Sending you  and sticky vibes!

xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Congrats Hulagirl!   Great news that the line is getting darker, and not long to wait for your first scan.

Honor - everything crossed for your scan. Still can't believe you've had to wait this long, but now it's nearly here!

Love to everyone else and   again to Karen


----------



## rachel1972

Great news Hulagirl.  dh ssr isnt under GA this time and he hates needles so is being a real woase!

Honor I didnt think it was real til i got back from hospital with ethan , i think thats quite normal when you have been through would we all have.xx

Hi buds hows everyone , curly where are you? xx


----------



## Hulagirl

Thanks Honor, Twinklie and Rachel - all so nerve wracking!

Twinklie - cant believe you are 29 weeks - its flying by - does it feel like it?

Can i ask if anyone on here has had acupuncture and following a positive result how long you carried it on for?

hi everyone else 

xx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi hula,

Fab news   I'm still having acupuncture to help me through the pregnancy. It works wonders on morning sickness and heartburn!


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh and good luck tomorrow honor. Keeping everything crossed for you!


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi 
Pooky - how often do you go for acupuncture?

good luck for tomorrow Honor!

xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

I went every two weeks until bleeding, morning sickness and heartburn had settled at 14 weeks. She worked on my spleen for the bleeds and I've not had anymore since she targeted it. I'm now going a bit less. I only saw her that often due to the issues I had.


----------



## Twinklie

Hulagirl - yes, it's all gone very fast lately! After each milestone (mainly scans) time just goes faster and faster. Can't believe it's another week gone again today. It's so nice to appreciate time going by for a change... You''ll see what I mean!   Still can't believe we've been this lucky, especially after all the bleeding and drama at the beginning, not to mention all those failed IVFs. Still doesn't quite feel real, maybe it's like Rachel said - doesn't feel real until you come home with baby.


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,
Just a quick post to let you know that everything went well at my scan this morning. Cried with relief! Apparently am few days ahead of what I thought and am 13 weeks today. EDD now 27th Sept. 
Love to all,
xxx


----------



## ma-me28

honor thats fab news.x am really pleased for you.x
hula congrats hun.x
big hugs to everyone else.x


----------



## Twinklie

Wonderful news Honor - so happy for you!


----------



## Pookychops

That's fab news honor   so very pleased for you! I bet dh is delighted too!


----------



## rachel1972

Honor fabulous, im so pleased for you.xx


----------



## 1972

That's great news honor xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Well done honor xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Wonderful news honor, enjoy every minute as it will go fast now x


----------



## Nordickat

D - change your ticker! People will think you are going to explode   

Squirrel, Maisie and Karen -   and  . Thinking of you lots. Plenty of room under my super heavy duvet if you need it Karen.

ma-me - i hope you are doing OK?

Curly - I haven´t scrolled back far so maybe I´ve missed your job news? I hope you are OK?


Lynn - Likewise, I´ve not gone back far but I didn´t see your name. Where are you? I hope you are OK out there somewhere?


Hanna - are home yet?

Hula and Honor congrats on your fab news.

Buds with bumps   

Buds with babies   ...... that includes you too Rachel   

I found out I have to be weighed in the morning to check I´m not losing too much weight and then DH sent me a picture of his receipt from buying me cream eggs and mini eggs in the UK today .......... I suspect I might gain some weight at home this weekend. Sorry for not being around much but I don´t have much middle ground at the moment - sky high or center of the earth low - which makes concentrating exhausting. I checked out the real world today though and even got the bus, admittedly with a fellow loony, and it was all very stressful   

Night all, 
Katxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Morning all you beautiful ladies!!

I have scrolled back few pages but not all so I hope I got all the news...
Firstly...
Karen- I was so sad to hear your news. I hope you are as well as you can be and you are getting each other through this...   
Honor- Amazing news from your scan! I hope you are breathing a bit easier now with your 'concrete' proof 
Hula- Great news!!   I am so happy for you!
Kat- Hope you are doing well and enjoying home. I'm suffering from a bad cold and could do with that duvet you were talking about  
Pooky- How are you feeling?
Dee- How's the ickle one? x
Squirrel-   hope you are well. xx
Maisie- Hope ickle   is ok and all the paperwork is going smoothly with the house business xx
AFM- Sooo, I'm in Finland now, hubby is in U.K still, so the tables have turned    Have had one job interview and another one today, so please all keep your fingers crossed, cause I NEEEEEED a job. Haven't looked for a flat yet, wanted to find a job first so can get a flat nearby as I don't drive.
I am enjoying the snow, I went for a 6,5km cross country skiing trek on my own the other day. It was awesome but my legs are still aching and I caught a cold too. I need to  start excercising more, I suppose  
Went shopping yesterday and got a nice 'interview-outfit' for today  
Right, I better go, take care all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Karen_S

HI Buds,

Coming to you in a flood of tears and feeling like my world is falling apart.
This time was such a total blow and the hope has been sucked right out of me.

How much more of this can I take?

In my despair and pain I managed to write a letter "To my baby", in some vain attempt to help me heal.
I really don't believe this is ever going to work, and if I am going to move on, or forward, then I need to express it.

Here's what I wrote, and I really wanted to share it with someone because DH isn;t ready to read it.

_*To my baby,

I love you.

I have loved you since the minute we decided to have you.
I'm sorry.
I'm so full of regret that I waited so long to want you, to need you.
And now, it seems, you will never be.

I have felt your bulging roundness in my tummy,
I have known the joy, the elation and the magic of our first moments together,
I have heard you cry,
I have heard you laugh.
But you will never be.

I have felt the warm weight of you bundled up in my arms,
I have seen your angelic little face,
I have bounced you on my knee,
I have watched you stand, wobble and waddle towards me.
But you will never be.

I've done everything I can to bring you into our lives,
But nature and medical science have failed us.
I'm so so sorry.

You will always remain in my heart and my imagination
And that's all I can give you.
Because you will never be.

I love you,

Mummy
*_

Thanks everyone for your support, your cyber-hugs and your thoughtful words. I'll get through this, but at what cost?

I sincerely hope that no more of us have to endure this pain. It's all so unfair.

Love and luck to everyone,
Karen


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Thank you for all your replies to my post yesterday .

This one's mainly for *Karen* this morning, though... You've got me in tears too, such a beautiful letter . Thank you for sharing it with us . I know I've been so, so incredibly lucky not to have had to endure all that you have with your tx, so know it'd be wrong of me to say that I understand how you're feeling . I do, though, recognise some of what you said about the sense of loss and despair you're feeling, after the deep dark hole I found myself in at the end of last year. Although not really the same thing, I too wrote a letter, to Neo, and although it was incredibly hard and painful to write, it was a good thing to do, something I needed to do. I hope that it in some small way helped to get out some of all the despair, pain and fear you're feeling. I know it's still early days, but would you consider fertility counselling? Just a thought of something that may at least give you an outlet for your distress (in addition to here, of course ), with someone specifically trained to help you as much as they possibly can. I just wish there was something I could do to help. It makes me SO angry that some of my lovely Buds, and other friends I've made through FF, are suffering so much. I just hope and pray that the sun will one day soon start to break through those black clouds. Don't suffer in silence, though - you know where we are .

xxx


----------



## bell26

Karen, I'm so sorry to read your news  I'm in tears too reading your letter. I wish I could say or do something to take the pain away. Sending you an abundance of cuddles.

Xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Oh Karen      

Whatever happens in the future please remember that you will feel better than you do now...
I think Honor's suggestion of speaking to a professional is a good one, could be just what you need.


----------



## 1972

Oh Karen honey, that is heartbreaking   I think can sympathise and of course share the pain you are feeling. I felt the same in december. Please be assured this agony won't last forever. Your heart will never be what it once was but the pain eases. You'll have good days and bad . Please don't think it I'll be this dark forever, you need time and it will get easier.

Please don't give up on hope . Lots of   and we will all get through these times together xxxxxx


----------



## Carey

Hiya buds

I did try posting yesterday & got half way then my phone switched off & I. Lost my post   

So here I am trying again whilst feeding oliver  

Honor fab news on ur scan hun xx

Hula Congrats to u xx

Hanna good luck with the I interview & enjoy the snow xx

Kat hugs to u hun & enjoy the choc xx

Mame hope ur ok, nearly one wk of the 2ww over xx

Hi to Rachel, lynn, twinklie, curly, dee, sorry to those I've missed. Love to u all. Xxxxxxx.


----------



## Carey

Sending u big hugs karen. Xxxx

Hi to pooky, maisie xx


----------



## 1972

Very quiet ladies...

Big   to karen. Xxxxxxx thinking of you lots and hope you're coping 

Big   to Kat. Hope things are ok ?  

Hanna - Any job news ?  

Curly - where are you ?  

Hope everyone else is well?   tough weekend. Auntie passed away on Friday   my mums sister who's husband died at xmas. Mum very sad and poor cousins have lost their mum and dad in 3 months. Spent some time with mum yesterday. went to look for kitchens today with DH..  at the price of sum.. Mortgage is taking AGES to process as all paperwork based. Hurry up ! feel in limbo for tx, limbo for house, limbo for life !


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - glad you made it home safely. We have full on Spring now and I´m a wee bit jealous of your skiing as our season was really short this year. God luck with the job hunting but I´m sure the new suit will seal a deal for you.


Karen and Squirrel   . I´ll start forming a plan tomorrow.


Maisie - I´m OK I think. I just get a overwhelmed very easily at the moment and I don´t have much to say on here really since not a lot that I can talk about happens in my day. I´m so sorry about your auntie. Your cousins must be so heartbroken   .


Lots of love to the rest of you   


I have a real grump on tonight. Poseiden is on one of the TVs and football on the other   . Loads of new patients arrived this weekend and I´m finding them very intimidating ...... and they are all boys and leave the loo seat up ...... so I´m hiding in my room. I´m also feeling a little abandoned as well as I don´t get as many counselling appointments as others do which is my fault but at the same time something I can´t control. And to top it all off, the wifi is too slow tonight and I can´t stream iplayer ........ its enough to send you bonkers


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry been AWOL - parents still here and going to go with them tomorrow to visit my aunty and uncle, staying overnight.

I've been following on my phone though, but, yes, it has been very quiet indeed. Hope everyone's ok ?

Totally sympathise with the unwanted trip to limbo land, *maisie*. I hope it's just the lull before the storm that will be moving house and doing tx all at once in a frenzy, to be followed by months of bliss in your new home, expecting your new baby .

*Kat*: Don't blame you hiding out in your room. Doesn't sound much fun . Hope you have something good to read? I really enjoyed the Douglas Kennedy book, got through it really quickly and am now reading a kind of odd one - quite hard to follow what's happening and when and to/with whom - called "The Distance Between Us". Hope things improve for you next week with the new arrivals, and, most importantly that you are doing well .

Love to everyone else, and I'll be back again soon .

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - i decided not to try douglas kennedy as he fails my new kindle purchasing requirements - has to be under 4 quid and have at least 4 stars. I haven´t read `the distance between us´but will for sure since I do like Maggie O´Farrell. I´ve just finshed the ´particular sadness of lemon cake´which i can recommend although it is a bit wacky  . Enjoy your family time.


Well DH is on his way to take me out for cake since dinner tonight was too awful to eat. We don´t even have the right words in English to describe fishballs but you can trust me, they are as bad as they sound  . I might be going home at the end of the week      .


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - on ******* they have a daily deal for a book at 99p. You just have to follow kindle. I've only bought one and didn't like it that much. I'm working my way through the game of thrones at the moment. 

Karen -  have you had your follow up appointment with the clinic yet? you did so well wih your eggs this time and I am so sad for you that it don't work. You have a wonderful way with words and your letter is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

Maisie - so sorry to hear about your aunt.   life is cruel and cancer is such an awful disease. How is Maisie cat this week? Is she getting any better? I have a feeling that when you get your house everything will click into place for you.

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all well. Work is manic for me and I'm looking forward to next week when it all goes quiet again and my stress levels can go down!


----------



## 1972

Whoooo hooooo to Kat - bye to the hospital ...   xxxx fish ally's - bleurgh  

Pooky - maisie cat still same. Back on thyroid tabs, monitoring for 2 weeks to see if working and to make sure skin doesn't flare again. House slow... Mortgage co were inundated with applications as they offered best deal on market. Soo, it'll be mother 9 days before they review  

Hi to everyone else. Love to squirrel and Karen xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hi ladies,

Hula - congrats on bfp  .

Honor - hope Ned ok after neutering, and congrats on a fab scan. xx

Rachel - hope plenty of fishies, and DH ok after his little tx.

Pooky - your acupuncture sounds fab.  Hope work calms down soon.

HI - Twinklie, ma-me, Bell26, Carey.

karen - hey lively, as always your words are spot on   . x

Maisie - good news on the house - hope all the legal work is sorted soon oh, and that maisie cat is ok.

Hanna - good luck for the job interview. x

Kat - fishballs - urgh - sound horrendous.  At least one upside of going home is that you have DH trained in putting down the loo seat  .  Hope you are ok, and will take some time out before rushing straight back into work and being loaded with pressure again. xxx  

I'm not really sure what to say about my absence - in retrospect it all seems a bit, I don't know - embarrassing, silly, self-pitying. Anyway, a number of things collided that meant I hit a brick wall and 'slid down it' rather than my usual 'shake myself and carry on'. In all of this mess was a member of our social circle getting pregnant the same week I went for tx last year, and has had her baby; an odious recruitment consultant contacted me about a job and proceeded to knock seven shades of confidence out of me. Just loads of other things including friends and family pulling at me and, wanting me to be there to take on all of their stuff and make them feel better etc, and I just couldn't give to them all, so I hid and cried.  Oh, and mother's day being everywhere - jeez!!  Anyway, in a coincidence, my Drs did my thyroid test last week and the results showed my TSH has gone up. They've increased my dosage, and my head and emotions seem to be feeling a bit more normal now.

So I'm sorry ladies, I was reading bits but just couldn't think what to say.

On the upside, at least today is Tuesday and not Monday.  

Maisie - we have been helping a friend (also childless) rip out and choose a new one - it is quite cathartic. xx

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi Curly so sorry you have been having a tough time , i thought something must be up and thought of Pm ing you today and then thought you would be back when you are ready. just be kind to yourself.  we cant be there for everyone all the time. lots of love hope i will see you soon.xxx

Maisie sorry to hear about your Auntie xx

Hi to everyone else hope you are all out getting lots of Vit D.

afm very stressed out, with my sons shcool choice (he has SEN) but dont wont to post too much as i know to some it might be a stress they would love to have. Tx is now on hold again until this gets sorted out. Maybe its for the best as DH is such a downer.

Love and light to all xxx


----------



## 1972

Hey curly - welcome back   meltdowns allowed. I've had my fair share xxxxxxx

Rachel -  

Bad news after bad news.. My friend and work colleague died last night. Very sad, he was only 38, 3 kids, lovely wife. Dreadful blasted cancer ... Hit him hard and had no chance. So sad , I'm feeling very despondent and angry at life at the moment. Wondering why life has to be to cruel sometimes...


----------



## Pookychops

Huge   to you Maisie. Awful news. Life just isn't fair! Thinking of you and things will pick up soon,  I promise!


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Hope you are all well.
Pooky - thanks re the acupuncture, i am going to see what she has in store and what she would recommend going forward. Would rather not be going once a week but will  see what she has to say and which areas would be targeted. Interesting to hear about the ******* kindle offer, will have to take a look. Hope work quietens down for you next week, are you going to have some time off over easter?
Twinklie - i can imagine how time flies - i cant believe March is nearly over, only seems 5 mins since new years eve! AM guessing you will be winding down soon and getting everything ready at home. 
Honor - congrats on your scan thats great news, so pleased for you.
Ma-me - hows the 2ww going? whats your otd - got everything crossed for you.
Dee - hi ! how you getting on? Hows Stanley?
Kat - hi how are you? hows it going? have you spoken to any of the newbies? fishy dinner didnt sound the best! Do you know when you will find out if you are going home at the end of the week? How do you feel about it?
Hanna - welcome back! Glad you arrived home safely. how are you finding it? Good luck for your interviews and flat hunting.when is DH going to join you?
Karen - im so sorry that this tx didnt go the right way this time but please do not lose hope. Thank you for sharing your letter with us, i really hope it helps and that you can share it with DH sometime soon. Im so sad for you   i wish there was something i could do to help or ease your pain. thinking of you often.
Carey - hey how are you? Hows Oliver?
Maisie - so sorry to hear about your aunty thats so sad and also that its so soon after her husband, life is so unfair. Sorry about your colleague - thats so awful. BTW I can gabble on about kitchens and building work until the cows come home - ask away if you need any advice/ideas!
Curly - hope you are ok. I feel like i am pulled in all different directions at times. Being the middle child and seeming most sane   i think everyone thinks i can take on everyone elses problems because i havent got any of my own problems - the thing is that i just dont choose to share my problems which i guess  makes it my own fault really. Glad your thyroid was tested and that you are feeling better.
Rachel - sorry your stressed out too, hope the school choices get sorted soon and that tx can get back on track.

AFM - this week is going ok, just want it to hurry along to my scan next week. Got my hair cut this evening but it feels a bit short, its funny but most people love their hair cuts on the day they get them but i always need a week before my hair feels ok again - im 
Have been managing to avoid making a big deal of not drinking - have had 2 occasions so far where i think i have done some good disguising. One more this weekend then havent got much on for the next few weeks and i think i will leave it that way. 

Anyway love to all, need my bed, had a rubbish nights sleep last night
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Morning!
Maisie- I'm so sorry, honey... Life really is unfair, but at the same time, these experiences gets you to put things in perspective and to see how, in fact, despite our heartbreaking problems... it could be worse... Take care, and if you feel you shouldn't go to work, then... I'm sure they allow a day off after something like this?   
Hula- I'm the same with haircuts, it takes me few days to get used to it xx
Rachel- Sorry to hear you are stressed out. hope it all works itself out soon, and you can continue with tx xx
Curly- Glad to have you back, sorry you have had rough time. I'm glad they got your TSH sorted out, should make you feel much better soon xx
Kat- I hope you have enjoyed the fishballs. I'm trying to figure what they are... Are they like raw things like rollmops or something else?

afm- Shipment still not here   Was supposed to be yesterday, and according to the tracking it has returned to Gatwick from Brussels?! I wonder what illegal things I have packed in there for that to happen  
Another thing... when I had my FET, the 5 day blast was put in 20.2., AF came 26.2. ...I did 2 tests 29.2-1.3. BFN... Today is 28.3 and I have no AF, I have had 3 days of pains though... normally my cycle is 26-27 days , now it is 32nd day... Must be stress, not even gonna bother with the tests...but... you all know... the 'hope' is there, like it is every bleeding month (literally bleeding) GGGGRRR!


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie -   I´m so sorry you have lost your friend   


Curly -   to you too 


Hanna - without hope there is nothing   


I´m going home on Friday but having a truly ****e day today


----------



## ma-me28

bfn


----------



## rachel1972

Ma-me so sorry to hear that   

Hi Hana hope you shipment arrives safely soon.xx
hello to everyone have a good day xx


----------



## Twinklie

Hi ladies

Ma-me - so sorry to hear your news.     Take good care of yourself and DH.

Maisie - you're really not having an easy time right now. So sorry for your loss. It reminds me of when I was living in London and everything seemed to go wrong... One day soon things will turn around for you.   

Kat - sorry you're having a bad day.   Hoping it's one of those days you need to go through to get to the good ones.

Hanna - fingers crossed you get a nice surprise! You never know...

Hula - I understand you're looking forward to/dreading your scan. It's by far the most nerve-racking one. I'm sure everything will be fine though! Time really has flown, can't believe I'm 30 weeks tomorrow! Planning to work until about 24 May, so less than two months to go. We're in the middle of buying a house which needs refurbishing, so "getting everything ready at home" is a bigger project than I'd like to think about right now!   

Special      to Karen and Curly. 

All OK with me, feeling pretty uncomfortable already but never forgetting how lucky I've been. As sort of mentioned above I had a long run of crap happening to me, not just with all those BFNs, so I know how it feels when the whole universe seems to be conspiring against you. Fortunately things never stay that way foreve, and I hope they will turn around sooner rather than later for everyone who is in that position right now.   

 and   to everyone.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

I'm back ! I can't really scroll back too far, so hope I don't miss anything important...

*ma-me*: So sorry to read your news . Please take care of each other and let us know if there's anything we can do; thinking of you... 

*Kat*: Shame you can't get Douglas Kennedy books for your Kindle. Let me know what you think of "The Distance Between Us" if you get it - wasn't all that keen myself...
Great news you can go home on Friday! Hope you're feeling good about it, though?

*Pooky*: Hope work isn't as manic this week. How are you doing otherwise?

*maisie*: . So sorry you're having such a rubbish time... Sorry to hear about your aunty and uncle, and then your work friend... just awful . I'm sure lots of good things MUST be just round the corner for you , you certainly deserve them .

*Curly*: Good to hear from you! Glad you're feeling a bit better after your difficult week or so . I'm sure your thyroid didn't help matters, so it's good you've got it sorted. Oh, and there's nothing wrong with hiding away and having a good cry, often it's the best way to get through it .

*rachel*: Sorry I couldn't message properly before. I've had a few days off and so needed to get down to work this morning on a job with quite a tight deadline. Late lunch now and then back to it... 
Hope you can sort out school choices for Ethan - is there anyone who can advise you? It's probably a good idea to get that sorted before embarking on the stress of tx. Keep up the meditation and I'm sure everything will fall into place .

*Hula*: What day is your scan next week? Hope it comes round quickly! I'm sure everything will be just perfect .

*Hanna*: Hope your things turn up ok! These things are never straightforward .

*Twinklie*: 30 weeks tomorrow ?! That _has_ gone quickly! Good luck with your house projects!

Love and  to everyone else,

xxx


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## Nordickat

mame    I´m so sorry.


----------



## Hannushka

ma-me- so sorry to hear your news    You're in my thoughts xx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Kat - sorry your having a really rubbish day, glad you are able to go home friday thats good news.
Ma-me - so sorry, i really had everything crossed for you. Hope your ok, am thinking of you
Hanna - hope your shipment turns up soon. Fingers crossed aF doesnt show! Maybe the distraction of moving has helped - how long will you leave it before testing?!
Twinklie - hope your house goes through smoothly and that you can do some bits before little one arrives.
Hi Rachel, Honor and everyone else  

My scan is next week Thursday, yikes.

Hope everyone is ok, today in London has been beautiful weather, makes such a difference, hope its sunny wherever you buds are. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Twinklie/Hula - rubbish days are all relative and my grumbles today are nothing compared to Ma-mes heartache. 

Karen - nope, I´m not ready to go home at all   

Now I am here I realise I am too tired to bore you to death with my huge progress today - I can here your huge sighs of relief from here    - so I´ll say good night. 

Thinking of you Mame


----------



## Hannushka

Hula- I have no idea, I rather just stay in this bubble until it breaks on it's own...   day 33...


----------



## Pookychops

Ma-me - so sorry that it didn't work. Sending you a huge


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Hula*: 1 week today !

*Kat*: Hope today's a better day for you .

*Hanna*: How long do you think you'll leave it before testing if the  doesn't show?! You never know !

Love to everyone else, and special  for those in need,

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Ma-me - so sorry sweetie   .

Kat - can you pull rank and try and get some extra sessions in?  Are you able to ask them for another week or is it the kind of place where beds are needed so they've basically already packed your bags and put them by the door?

Hula - when are you putting a ticker up?

Honor - glad all seems well with you - any news about DH?

Rachel - please don't even feel that you can't write about your darling son.  I could never begrudge anyone on here the happiness of having a child - after all, none of us would be on here if we hadn't needed medical help to make it happen or kickstart our bodies to get pg to happen. Sorry it's all on hold for the moment. 

Hanna - enjoy your bubble.

Twinklie - sorry your uncomfortable, at least you know it's not from biscuits or crisps. xx

Hi to Squirrel, Karen, Lynn and anyone else.

Ladies, thank you for you kind words. As one song (Mary Chapin Carpenter) puts it, sometimes you're the windscreen, sometimes the bug.  I have to accept that I had a very good and long run professionally, and across most of my personal life, it's just now I'm the bug, but it will pass.

xx


----------



## Nordickat

curly - bugs are often just the pupae of something beautiful and wonderful   

hanna - I´m still hoping for you  

They don´t throw me out curly and I could stay if I needed to, but I know in my heart its time to leave. I´m just scared thats all which is quite obvious but my 24/7 anxiety. One big source of anxiety today is that fact I have to go and see chief Dr today and I don´t like him. He wears brightly coloured bowties  FFS, and the only way I can talk to him is to imagine myself tightening the tie round his neck but thats more likely to fast track me upstairs to the secure unit than home. Oops, got to go. Its group therapy time and I´m sure you can imagine how much I enjoy that  

Love to you all, 
Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

kat - you have just made me spit laugh on to the screen (tmi?). I know what you mean though, I worked with a man who wore cartoon character ties, and it used to make my head implode as I always thought this advertisement of jollity was an attempt to mask a far darker character (and he was a sneaky chauvinist).

Maisie - meant to say sorry for your last batch of bad news - cancer is a hideous and merciless illness, particularly when it leaves young children without a parent.  

xx


----------



## Nordickat

Curly - he is a psychiatrist and you only decide to become one of them is you are seriously unbalanced yourself. I have avoided him so far so thinking of going out to art therapy now to hide. I have no artisitic talent at all but it has to be better than a meeting with Micky Mouse or whoever is on his tie today.


----------



## Hannushka

Just a quick hello from sunny Finland...

Bubble has burst... the wicked   arrived... I'm rather worried though that it isn't a good thing for them to get irregular...
Oh well, off to doctors thursday to get the ball rolling here and in the queue...
Hope you are all ok   
xxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Grr... I'd just almost finished typing a post and managed to lose it .
Here we go again... 

*Curly*: You sound a bit down at the moment . Sending you a big , and hope that you'll be smiling again very soon .
DH is STILL away, and I'm missing him so, so much . Wish I knew when he'd be back, but also know he needs to stick it out and hopefully get something. He's waiting to hear back from 2 interviews he had last week and 1 he had on Monday . He has a second interview for the job he really wants this coming Monday, although he's not sure whether it's a final interview or if there'll be a third interview. He does, though, have quite a difficult task to perform on the day and knows that there's 1 more person up for it, at least on the same day, so fingers crossed they're impressed with him and offer him the job  - it would make his day, week, month, year, DECADE !, and mine!, if he did get it.
It looks like the job he was originally offered was a farce . Despite having discussed starting date and salary at the interview, a few weeks ago now, and then calling him the next day to offer him the job, he's STILL waiting on the draft contract, yet was supposedly due to start on 1 April . On the one hand, it's good it's come to nothing, as he wasn't overly keen on the job and neither of us keen to live somewhere small and relatively remote again; on the other, he needs a job and it would have been good to have had it as a back-up plan.

*Kat*: How are you today? Are you going home today? It's only natural you're scared about going home, but I'm sure your DH and pooch will look after you well . Just take your time to adjust and settle back into everyday life.

*Hanna*: So sorry the  has struck . I hope she's not being too painful . I think it's quite common to have a longer/disrupted cycle after a tx cycle, so wouldn't worry too much about your cycles perhaps turning irregular.
Good luck with your appointment on Thursday - hope you can get some answers to any questions you may have and that things will go quickly and smoothly once you've got the ball rolling .
When is DH planning on joining you? We should form a new society: "The abandoned wives society" !

Love to everyone else ,

xxx


----------



## butterfeena

Hello ladies

I've just stumbled upon this thread - don't know what the Cheese Cake Gang is but I like cheese cake so thought I'd ask what it's all about?

x


----------



## Honor77

Who wants to field this one ?!

It's our nickname - we were originally "The Darling Buds of May and June" for those cycling in May and June last year, but one of us - mentioning no names *Karen*  - got us all addicted to cheesecake, hence the nickname!

I noticed from your profile signature that your OTD is looming? Hope you're surviving the 2ww and are on track for a BFP !

xxx


----------



## butterfeena

Oh thanks Honor for the explanation. Good name and has me hankering after a slice of the good stuff. Yep OTD a week today, lord knows how I'll stick it out till then. If only the pessaries didn't give you the exact same symptoms as being PG it would be helpful - wasn't aware of the many ironies of IVF until now! Thanks for the good wishes.


----------



## Honor77

*butterfeena*, and do check back in to let us know how you get on.

*AFM*: Think DH was feeling bad about our phone call this morning when I was obviously upset at him being away, as he just logged in and called me on Skype . Skype is all well and good, but I want him HOME!!!

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

hi all thanks for your kind words heads a bit messed up at the minute all the cheap tests ive done have been negative but the tests given to us from the clinic once dried are showing positive and todays is darker then wednesdays so have to retest tomorrow and ring clinic monday with result and might have to have blood test, and just to add did start bleeding wednesday so its feeling like our first cycle all over again and am more confused then ever!!!!

hope everyone is ok sending big hugs.x


----------



## Honor77

Oh, *ma-me*, sounds horrendous . I bet you just want to know either way... Are the clinic's tests a different type to the ones you've been using? Perhaps try a CB digital, if you haven't already? I'd push for a blood test, if you can, though, as that'll be the most reliable way of telling you what's going on.  the clinic's tests are right and you've got a lovely little, sticky bean in there!

Take care,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

Short post for me.

Massive   to everyone. I'm shattered after very hard 7 days, 2 losses and a mare of a week at work. Thank god it's not during a cycle or I would have well and truly crumbled..

 for ma-me 

 squirrel, kat , curly, Hanna and Karen xxxxxx

Honor - tell dh to get his   hone. Surely he could fly home one weekend to see you ??


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds, happy friday! yay its the weekend! 
Hanna - sorry the witch turned up, your cycle might have changed this month because of moving/stress/tx. Im sure it will settle down. When is Dh joining you? Good luck for thursdays appointment.
Curly - i dont dare put a ticker up until ive had a scan and had things a bit more confirmed. To be honest it still doesnt feel very real. Hope you are ok. 
Kat - are you home now - how are you doing? Have you got outpatient appointments lined up? Remember one day at a time...
Honor - ah i really feel for you with DH being away. Got everything crossed for both of you that he gets the job he wants and that you can start to build your new life wherever it will be. Hopefully he will be home soon. My Dh is going away for 2 weeks and i know i will it will be ok for the first few days but hes not been away for thatlong before - im sure i can think of things to keep myself occupied with. I will be joining the abandoned wives soc!
Hi butterfeena - good luck on otd!
Ma-me - deffo try a clearblue and see what that says? sorry things are up in the air, goteverything crossed for you that its positive.
Maisie - sounds like its been an awful week, im so sorry. Hope you have some time to yourself over the weekend, i think you need it. take care of yourself

Hi everyone else!

gosh its felt like a long week at work, glad its the weekend. Not too much planned for sunday but have a busy day tomorrow. Hope you all have a good one
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi everyone, 

Quick post as shattered.

Big   to everyone who needs it. Indulge on a bit of cheesecake, nothing like comfort food.

Thinking of you all and hope you are all ok.

Hopefully I'll be more sociable now the evil q1 is over!


----------



## Nordickat

A quickie from me too .......

Maisie - I´m glad you made it through the week without crumbling. I´ve ben thinking of you lots   . I´ll mail you this week but wanted to give you some space to grieve before bothering you.

Curly and Hanna   and   

Honor - I hope your DH is home soon with a contract in his hand. Have you heard from Lynn, do I need to be worried about her?

Ma-me  I´m sorry you still don´t know what´s happening with your beans. I hope you have a good brand of test for tomorrow and make sure you read it within the timeframe so you know for sure. Hoping very hard that you have a very wonderful weekend   

Pooky and Hula - I hope your beans are cosy, warm and snug.

Squirrel and Karen     . Catch up this week I hope although all being well I might be at the cabin so no skype.

Lynn - where are you?

I´m completely drained now so I might not be around much for a bit, especially if we go to the mountains to recover. This week has been a bit of a nightmare with a huge relapse midweek and I´m not actually discharged yet. I´m home until Monday but then I have a review appt on Monday to decided if I´m fit enough to be allowed home. DH has agreed to take holiday so I´m hoping I will be allowed home again on Monday. The conditions of coming out will be turning up to outpatient appts, GP appts, physio and yoga (don´t even ask why I need those   ) appts and DH not going away for a bit. Its all very strict and thats not even the complete list. On the plus side though I´ve made 2 new friends who understand what it is to be bonkers, my puppy has missed me so much he is super cuddley, and my DH wanted me to feel special so bought me a lovely Links bracelet and a very more romantic new sleeping bag   .

 not such a quick one after all, I got on  bit of a roll there   . Love to everyone and if I don´t log on again, I hope you enjoy the long weekend next week.
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Kat -   here's hoping for good news Monday. Lovely dh, how sweet. X 

Ladies on Skype - message/ email me your names and I'll add you


----------



## Carey

Hi buds,

A few highs & lows on here over the past week.

Hugs sent to u all  

Mame, hanna, kat - keep strong xxxx

It seems alittle quiet on here.... u must all be enjoying your weekend  

Afm - had a sad time over the last wk. My DH grandad passed away last Sat &  we had to have our cat pput to sleep on Sun, think she got hit by a car, the whole back end of her body was paralised      it was so sad. 
Oliver is now 5wks old weighs 7lb 9oz now!!! He has a cold at the mo, poorly baby.

As always I'm wishing everyone lots of luck with TX and sending love & hugs to you all

Xxxxxx.


----------



## 1972

Sorry to hear about your cat Carey, so sad   and your dh grandad xx  

Ladies - we are being quiet. I hope everyone s ok. I guess in between cyles we've all ended up with so many other things going on.. its almost a year since we started talking  , you guys will always be my original buds x

Life is just one big sad limbo at the moment. Got my appts with create in few weeks but no clue if I can go ahead and when. The house and a new kitchen financially takes priority   then we will see what we can afford.. I've wasted this months 'window ' of opportunity  re  as my mind has well and truly been on other things  

Off to the ideal home show in a bit, to buy junk I don't need or want   xxx


----------



## ma-me28

afternoon everyone just quick update did clear blue yesterday and that was negative.x am going to get blood test just for some closure and so we can start to move forward.
big hugs to you all.x


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds,
Ma-me so sorry,hope you are ok 

Maisie - hope everything becomes a bit clearer for you soon.  Does Create offer any finance options? I cant believe we have been buds for a year now. Ideal home show sounds good although i know what you mean i cant help buying bits and pieces that i really dont need!
Carey  - so sorry that Dh grandad passed away and sorry about your cat too - both so sad. Hope Oliver is getting better.

Kat - hope you are in the mountains and having a nice time with DH. I can imagine its very beautiful there, hope its doing some good. 

Hi Pooky and everyone else! xx

Am having quite a relaxing weekend although i still have loads of chores to do and i really cant be bothered, they can wait  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Karen_S

*Ma-me -* I wish I could jump through my PC screen and out yours to give you a massive . I know the heartache of not only 1, but 2 BFN's on the pee-stick, and still no real finality.
I don't want to upset you with false hopes, but it's true that until the blood test confirms otherwise, it still could be a positive. It's happened before.   

No matter what the final result, we all know what you're going through, and coming your is way is a big,fat, full-of-cheesecake .

HI everyone else,
I'm still here, reading from time to time, and slowly getting my head around the latest setback. It was a bigger blow than all the previous times, so it's taking me a little longer to get the spark back. Chocolate is proving a great source of support. 
I think of you all often and I hope you're all doing well.
Love and hugs to everyone.

_*Even if you fall on your face, at least you're still moving forward.*_


----------



## Hulagirl

Karen -  been thinking of you often and hoping you are doing ok.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope everyone had a good weekend .

*ma-me*: Sorry to hear it wasn't the result you'd hoped for on the CB digital yesterday . Hope the blood test today proves otherwise .

*maisie*: Reading some of your posts recently takes me back to how I felt towards the end of last year - like the whole world was conspiring against us to turn everything good or potentially good to crap and deliver yet more crap to us . It's so hard to come up against so many blows and setbacks. I hope SO much that you'll soon be rewarded - and rewarded well - for having had to experience such a difficult time recently. You deserve your luck to turn, and it must soon be your time .
As for DH flying home for a weekend, we simply can't afford it . December, January and February are slow months for me and so recently I've earned just enough to cover rent and bills, and that's it. I've had to dip into our very meagre savings, and will have to this month too, given I have the grand total of £10 in the bank and £7 in my purse until the end of the month. I'll just have to pray very hard that he's offered something very soon so he can come home soon - he's waiting to hear back from 3 interviews at the moment and has 1 today, so there's, hopefully!, a good chance he'll be offered one of these .
Yes, can't believe it's been a year since we started chatting ! What do you mean your "original Buds"? Are you cheating on us with _other_ Buds  ?! We really need a Cheesecake Fest soon to mark the occassion...

*Hula*: Welcome to the "Abandoned Wives Soc" . When is DH off? Will he be away the whole 2 weeks or home for the weekend/s? I've "survived" 2 weeks before, but it was still hard! Luckily this time, I haven't been on my own longer than a couple of weeks in a row, as I stayed with my parents for just over two weeks and they were here, well, Mum, for almost a week, so that's helped break up the time. You know where I am if you fancy some company while he's away .
Is he going to be here for your scan on Thursday? I bet you're all butterflies waiting for it to come around, but I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about .

*Pooky*: What's "q1" ? Whatever it is, sounds like it's a huge relief it's over !

*Kat*: Did you go to the mountains this weekend? Hope you did manage to get away from it all and enjoy some time in the "great outdoors" .
Sorry you haven't been discharged yet, but glad everyone is taking good care of you, especially DH. It's great you're able to see "the plus side", and hope that the list of pluses grows and grows, leaving you feeling happier and stronger .
I have heard from Lynn and she's ok, currently on her 2ww. Really hope this is _the_ cycle for her, she's had such a rough ride with it.

*Carey*: So sorry to hear about your DH's grandad and your cat . I can only imagine how tough that must be to have lost not just one, but two much-loved family members . I hope Oliver is feeling better and is managing to give you some solice at this sad time.

*Karen*: So good to hear from you . I've been umming and ahhing over PMing you, not really sure what to say, not wanting to "impose" if you weren't up to chatting... I know it's going to be a long, hard road back, but was pleased to read that you're slowly getting there. I hope cheesecake is also providing some much-needed comfort. I'll PM you a bit later on today.

*AFM*: Had a nice weekend - lunch, shopping and coffee with a friend on Saturday and almost all day just relaxing and reading a fab book yesterday . The only downside was a bit of a tiff on the phone with DH Saturday night - I got upset at him being away, he got annoyed because he was tired from preparing all day for his interview... I know I didn't pick my time, as I know what he's like and that the last few days he'll have been focussing on nothing but preparing, preparing, preparing for his interview today, stressing over it with no space in his head for anything else . Thank God for my lovely, sweet little  who spent the whole day sitting with me yesterday while I read, helping me calm down and think rationally .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

q1 is the first quarter of our year at work - some companies have different quarters. basically our reports go out to clients at the end of march each year and so its a manic panic getting all of the work done on time - espeically as we are two people down in our team, one has been made redundant and doesn't give a sh*t and a part timer has been made to take on one of the missing full timers work!

next delivery will be september where they will only have two permament full time members of the team on board and everyone is already crapping themselves! heaven forbid that they would get  a replacement in to cover my work

double glazing is being fitted today - apparently a bit above our bedroom window is about to fall down and they are having to do some 'fixing' to get it sorted. as long as the whole house doesn't fall down we should be ok......


----------



## squirrel2010

Ma me - I hope you can get an answer and find closure, but more than that - I am so very sorry for your heartache. You dont deserve it and dont give up. Xx

Kat - good luck for review today. Do what is right for you, and keep brave xx

Karen - your poem / letter is tucked inside my heart. What a tear jerker and mirrors my thoughts. We need a skype xx

Maisiemoo and carey - huge sympathies on the loss of your dear ones. This world is cruel. Thinking of you xx

Maisiemoo - limbo land sucks, anytime you need a rant, am here xx

Curly - hey you. Sorry you have fallen slightly off your perch, but hugely glad you are once again scaling the heights and looking forwards. You rock. I am a bug too  , heres hoping we get to windscreen status soon. Xx

Honor - glad all good your end, attach some sticky tape and rubber bands to dh so he has to spring back to you each time, give him no choice! Xx

Pooky - i love game of thrones   xx

Hula - good luck for scan xx

Lynn - cuddles and luck for tww xx

Butterfeena - good luck too xx

Everyone - hugs if you need it.

AFM, cant get a smile going this week. Hey ho.xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *squirrel*,

In the event of a lack of smile your end, I'm sending you one: , along with some ,  and  in the hope that knowing I'm thinking of you and hoping beyond hope that things are about to turn wonderful for you will help bring on that smile.

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi again *Buds* ,

Just spoke to DH (who was in a decidely better, nicer mood ) and he seemed to think his interview had gone better than he'd expected. Obviously, though, he has no way of knowing what the interviewers thought, or how well he did compared with the competition (another guy)... So, please all cross all fingers and toes for a positive outcome for him !

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Honor, good positive vibes for dh. Thank you for your lovely post, i did crack a teensy tiny weeny smilelet   xx ps i hope so much that your hope works for me, seeing as mine never does xx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel - I have hope for you too! You proved that you can get pregnant. It can work and it will work! 

Sending a big fat juicy hug to everyone to make them feel better. It's easter this weekend girls - the perfect excuse to stuff your face with chocolate and cake   plus - four days off work - result! 

Maisie - have you been to lussmans in hertford? I'm off there on Friday night. Is it any good?


----------



## 1972

Hi all

Pooky - yes lussmans is lovely. Yum food. Just beware the spiral stairs down to loo! 

 to squirrel. Hope each day is getting a little easier

 to Karen. Hope you're doing some Easter baking   

Kat - what news from yesterday    it's that you're home 

Honor - I understand re DH... You are being very patient, its been weeks.. I couldn't do this. You are. Strong lady xxxx

Me- me  .. Sorry to hear the news after a rollercoaster few days xxxxx

Hi to curly - are you ok, you're very quiet ...  

To all the other lovely buds.. Carey, hula, dee, Lynn and anyone else if missed.xx

Afm - survey instructed on house   but, I'm still feeling incredibly down. Had a fundraising cake sale at work yesterday to raise funds for work friends kids. Raised £550 , very proud. Not able to go to funeral as it's close fam and friends. Understand that but hard when you can't pay respects .. Hopefully will feel I can move in after. It's affected me quite hard   x


----------



## Jem2

Hi Ladies,

I have been keeping up to date with all of your posts,   to everyone. 

I've had a bit of a rollercoaster couple of weeks. In brief we have an appointment with the clinic next week and we are appealing against our treatment on the basis of suboptimal thyroid levels - it's all very confusing and taking a lot to get our heads around after we'd finally closed the chapter on this part of our life..... looks like it's a case of here we go again!

Jem x


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi darling buds,
thanks pooky   xx
Good luck with appeal jem   xx
Quick shout out for maisie - grief is a terribly difficult thing. It isnt only that we grieve for ourselves and the babies we feel we havent got, but when close fanily or friends die, the grief for that amplifies everything. Let it all out, allow yourself to feel this crap, and send a crad to the family, or write to your lost friend and seeif you can get some more closure. Youre wonderful, and we love ya. Take it day by day xx
Honor -   xx
Karen - good luck speaking to clinic xx
Kat - hang in there, hope the review went ok? Xx
Curly, karen, Kat, Lyn, everyone - happy easter. I know it might not be that happy for some, but either way, I am going to celebrate eating chocolate. Am going to ignore the egg part of it   xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*squirrel*: Glad my post helped crack a tiny smile... Please don't lose hope; I know it's hard not to when everything seems so black, but you DO have hope :
- You have another cycle planned, another chance 
- You have proven you _can_ get pregnant 
- The chances of a repeat early miscarriage are extremely low, so much so that you're at no more of a risk than anyone who's previously gone full term without any problems 

*Pooky*: Hope you and the Pookette are doing well .
I've been logged on Skype all day and you keep popping up as having come online - making me chuckle to think you're trying to have a sneaky Skype but keep having to log back out again when the boss is approaching !

*maisie*: Sorry you're still feeling so low . I prescribe cheesecake , and/or chocolate and cake, as proposed by *Pooky*.
It's a shame you can't go to the funeral... Could you perhaps take some flowers to the cemetery soon after? Perhaps with you feeling as you do right now, it'd be better/easier for you to be there alone to pay your respects?
Well done on raising so much money yesterday! What do you plan to do with it - a cheque or buy something in particular?
Hope the survery comes back all good so that you can have something concrete to smile about and look forward to the next stage of the house move .

*Jem*: Good to hear from you !
I can well imagine how confused you must be feeling, but fingers crossed for a productive appointment and successful outcome to your appeal - you just never know !

*AFM*: Have had 2 very productive days of work, so am pleased , and hope this continues for the rest of the week.
Spoke to DH earlier who said that on the way back to the airport last night - by car, along with the other candidate, driven by someone from HR, who'd also been in their interviews - the other guy had said to DH how when he'd been asked some questions, he'd replied he hadn't slept well the night before and so was tired and couldn't think properly ?! DH swears he really _did_ say this to him and that the HR bod driving them both heard and knew this because she had been in the interviews.  it's true and the interviewers will not have been impressed with this guy's unprofessional manner and possible attempt to cover up the fact he didn't know the answers to the questions he was being asked (technical questions). DH reckons he'll know before the bank holiday weekend, but who knows... SO impatient to know, and for it to be good news .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - will keep fingers crossed for dh. That's interesting re Skype - I never log into it. I have the app on my phone but only ever go on it if I know I'm going to be chatting to someone. I sneak onto ff on my phone and ******** on phone so people can't see what I'm looking at and then say I'm  catching up with pharma headlines on *******  

Maisie - our double glazing man is very good so I can give you his number if you need- he's based in broxbourne and came in about £4k cheaper than the other quotes. he's having to rebuild our house each time he takes a window out as chunks of bricks above the window keep falling out. It's all a bit scary really! I keep wondering if my house will be standing when I get home. The joy of owning an old house where someone dodgy has done a lot of work in the past!


----------



## 1972

Please pooky, can you send it... We haven't thoroughly investigated yet. Just know id like timber double glazing but thats very kerching!!!!!!! Found a bloke at ideal home show about a grand per window.. And the windows are small cottage ones


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Pooky*: Thanks for the finger crossing! Still no news, when spoke to DH earlier, so keep crossing !
Hope your house survives the window renovations!

Very quiet on here recently... Hope everyone is ok ?

*Kat*: How are things with you this week? Hope you had a good weekend and that all your appointments and visits this week are going well .

*Hula*:  for your scan tomorrow!

*AFM*: Another productive day of work - hurrah ! Gone quiet for now, but will hopefully get something else in in a bit.
Still waiting with baited breath for job news from Germany . Really hope they don't keep DH/us hanging by not contacting him until after the bank holiday weekend. Hate this kind of wait -  he'll be offered it but just daren't hope that he could be...

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hey ladies,

Kat - hope you are at your lodge in the mountains, enjoying your new sleeping bag and embracing the freedom of the outdoors.  We've not heard about your appt on Monday so I'm truly hoping it was good news, or at least the news you wanted.   

Hanna - so sorry AF arrived - always a kick in the teeth hey.  Hope Finland is glorious though.  

Honor - gosh this is a long time - is it 3 or 4 weeks since DH went to Germany? You're doing so well, I'm sure he will have good news soon, and it will be all go getting yourselves sorted for the next stage.  

Butterfeena - hope your OTD goes/went well!  

Ma-me -  

Hula - Hi  

Pooky - having done up a property I know how you're feeling - hoping to a God that nothing drops off or anything else gets uncovered!  I'm sure your windows will look stunning as it sounds like you have a decent workman.  Hope work settles down a bit now. x

Carey - sending you two   , for your grandad and cat. xx

Maisie - can the kitchen wait or is it truly awful?  Could you use the money for that for Create?  Think it's so lovely that you raised the money for the family - I'm sure it will really mean something to them during this surreal time. xx

Karen - sweetie, hello, thinking of you and feel for you. Can't think of anything clever or inspirational to say but, sending you a big hug. xxx

Squirrel - hello fellow bug. Thinking of you.  Have you got your next tx lined up - will understand if you don't want to talk about it?  xxx

Jem - good luck with your meeting with the clinic - stay strong and focussed . x

Rachel - how are you?  Have you got Ethan settled, and DH too? xxx

Honor and Maisie - yes, still a bit down.  Have to accept that we all have cruddy times in our life and, when your number is called to step up to the plate, you have no option but to do so and take it square on  .  Have been busy helping a friend to put in a new kitchen, and with my glass back I am now a bit bent and creaky.  My niece came to stay at the beginning of the week. we had a lovely time shopping, catching up on news about her degree etc, and caused quite a buzz in some of our local eateries/pubs (got the gossip going there) - it was quite odd to think I am of an age where it is totally plausible to assume I could have a daughter who is 20. Anyhoo, time for this bug to reposition herself on the windscreen and get ready for more DIY this weekend.

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Still quiet on here... 

*Curly*: Sorry to hear you're still a bit down . Glad you're keeping busy though - although rather you than me on the DIY front! Any job news?
3 or 4 weeks?! He'll have been away 2 months this weekend ! I'm actually coping ok most of the time. I'd obviously prefer him here, but if it means he gets a job out of it, then it's a small price to pay . The agency he's been dealing with for the job he's had 2 interviews for now called yesterday to say the company want to speak to him next week. Apparently they want to discuss his "motivation for the job", so we guess for him to reiterate how keen he is to work for them in that role and to reassure them that he plans to stay there long term. So, it's thinking caps on for us this bank holiday weekend, and please keep everything crossed for a positive outcome - with any luck finally a final decision from them next week .

*Karen*: Was good to Skype message earlier . You're sounding like you're in a much more positive place tx wise, with new options and renewed hope . Definitely a good idea to put it all behind you for the long weekend though and enjoy a relaxing trip to the Czech Republic .

*Kat*, *squirrel*, *Lynn*: Hope you are all ok .

And you too, *Hula*. Hope your scan went well today .

*AFM*: Planning on a normal work day tomorrow, usual weekend off but to work again on Monday. So, nothing exciting planned. BUT: I did just today _finally_ receive my birthday present from my brother : "Little House on the Prairie", Season 3 , so that's Sunday sorted! Am starting to get back my appetite and to eat a bit of chocolate again (yes, very freakingly Ive been off chocolate ), so I think Sunday, being Easter Sunday and all, calls for some chocolate accompaniment to my DVD .

Have a great long weekend everyone ,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Oh curly sweetie            xxx you sound very sad.... I hope things are a little more on the up soon and your the car not the windscreen or the fly . Xxxxx

Can you help me fit my kitchen when the time comes?!?! Been for meeting today with b& q.. Kitchen 5k, installation 5k!!!!!!!!!!!!! I nearly fell off my chair.. For 5 days work   Deffo rethink required..

Honor. 2 months is such a long time. Hope this all gets resolved soon and dh is home and you have plans xxxxx

Hi to everyone else xxxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening buds
Hope you are all ok.

Honor - thanks for welcoming me! hes off to the other side of the world so unfort a bit far to come back at the weekend, still its only 2 weeks im sure it will pass pretty quick. Work is busy so the days will fly by, evenings may be a bit quieter but to be honest i have a few things iwant to start and i perhaps might get some sorting out done as DH moans when i start changing things and moving things around. Cats are great arent they - im sure mine will be bed buddies when DH away. Hope your DH is home soon and with a contract in hand and smile on his face, i bet hes really missing you too. Got everything crossed for you. Cant believe about the guy in the car making excuses !   just remembered you like little house on the prairie, you mentioned that ages ago. Im planning on catching up on loads of tv while DH away. Hes watching the golf masters at the mo - only 4 days of it!

Pooky - hows the double glazing  and house renovations going? How are the pookettes doing - anymore scans coming up? 

Squirrel- sorry you sound so down. Doesnt sound like you at all, i hope you can find some peace soon. Enjoy the chocolate over easter - i always think the lindt bunnies look lush!

Maisie - hope you are ok. Youve had so much sadness this week, im so sorry you are going through it. A friend of mine couldnt get back overseas for a funeral of a family friend so when it came to the time of the funeral she went to a church local to work and sat for a while having a think and marking the occasion in her own way. I think she lit a candle and tried to say goodbye in her own way. Good idea to go and lay some flowers afterwards,i can understand the family wanting a private service but at the same time  its not fair that you cant go. Would they perhaps think about a tribute service in the coming months when perhaps they have had some time to grieve. Maybe its something you could suggest and help with?
On another note having the survey instructed is good, moving forward! See if you can find a local kitchen fitter - 5k to fit sounds very expensive! 

Jem- great to hear from you! Hope you get your appeal sorted and  good luck for your appointment. 

Curly - hey you! DIY can be so very therapeutic and great to get stuck into,so nice of you to help your friend out. 

Hi everyone else!

AFM - i feel a bit bad posting today as there seems to be a lot of sadness on here but i just wanted to say thanks for all the good luck wishes and say that my scan today was lovely. Yolk, sac and a strong heartbeat - have felt pretty gob smacked since we saw it, all finally seeming a bit more real. They gave us a little picture although cant really see much. Have been discharged back to gp so hopefully they will be in touch to book further appointments in.

Happy easter everyone, hope you all have a chocolate filled long weekend.

love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Big  *Hula* on your successful scan! Great you got a picture! The very first photo of your baby - how exciting it that?! I expect now you'll be on  for a few days before the worry sets in again... Hope you get some appointment dates through soon so that you have definite milestones to aim for. Sending you lots of  for a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Ohhh, so we're not only abandoned wives, but highly abandoned wives ?! Whereabouts is he jetting off to, and without you, tut tut . 2 weeks will fly by - if I can survive 2 months, then 2 weeks should be a doddle! The week does pass quickly enough when you're working, and I'm sure you'll manage to fill your weekends while he's away too . Although my DH has been away for ages now, I haven't actually had all that much free time when I've just been alone, so it hasn't been too lonely. And yes, kitties are perfect for some company and comfort .
Really  DH will be back very soon, however, and, as you say, "with a contract in hand and smile on his face" . I just spoke to him and he berated me for starting to get excited about this job he's being called about next week on the back of the 1 interview with the agency and 2 face-to-face interviews he's already had with the company on site! I know not to get too excited because it could still go either way, but I'm sending him lots of positive vibes and keeping everything crossed for it to go a positive way .

*maisie*: Perhaps that's *Curly's* calling: kitchen fitter ? I know absolutely nothing about buying and installing kitchens, but 5K does sound steep to me... Not that I've ever looked at kitchens, but I like looking at the ones in IKEA - would they perhaps have something and offer installation cheaper than other places? Just an idea...

*Everyone else*: Hope you all have some lovely plans for the bank holiday weekend . I was planning on trying to work today and Monday, but so far it looks like I won't get much, if any, work in.

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hula - that's wonderful news.  So exciting!  Now can we have a ticker?   

Honor - 2 months  .  wow!  I think it's fine for you to be enthusiastic and positive for DH - he'd feel a lot worse if you were 'yeh, whatever.'  xx  I could be a kitchen fitter but I did rather a bit of damage to my back when we did ours - rotated a vertebrae in my spine, trapped my sciatic nerves and parted my pelvis (my eyes were bigger than my strength   - now brushing and washing our wooden floors has me bent over like the crooked man who walked the crooked mile  )

Maisie - DH said that the £5k installation won't involve any of the plumbing work etc so, if you are intending/do need to move pipes (for putting in a dishwasher   etc) you would have to pay for someone else to do it.  As B&Q and the like contract out their kitchen fitting to local builders and put a finders fee on top it may be cheaper (and more in your control) to talk to a local fitter yourself, show them the B&Q kitchen and see if they can get it cheaper at trade prices or, if they can get a better deal at Howdens, and sort out any of the plumbing, gas disconnection/reconnection and electrical works?!!!  

hugs all 

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Nordickat

sorry but i am not really up to a huge post so just a quickie for those most in need.(((hugs))) by the armful to maisie and curly
xxx to karen and thanks for everything
squirrel thanks for being there this last few weeks. 
lots of love to everyone, 
katxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

And HAPPY EASTER ! Hope you're all having much more an Easter-y Easter Sunday than mine has been so far: cleaning all morning and NO chocolate ! I did mean to get some yesterday, but didn't in the end... Might, if I can be bothered, go and see if Tesco Express is open and raid their shelves .

*Kat*: Thanks for checking in . Sounds like you're not in such a good place , but hope that things look a bit brighter again soon . Take care .

*Curly*: Ouch ! And that didn't put you off for life?! I've never suffered any physical damage from DIY - which would, perhaps, be due to never having done any DIY in my life  - yet I still wouldn't touch it with a barge pole . Although I did this morning dismantle the God-awful standard IKEA lamp we've had for years, and which I've hated for ages, especially since the Neo  attacked it and ripped 2-3 sides of it to shreds and the base then got rusty from a homemade de-fleaing spray! It involved screwdrivers and wire cutters, so I thought that pretty impressive ! The shade has now also made a nice new play tunnel for the Ned . Waste not, want not and all that !

*Hula*: I agree with *Curly* - get yourself a ticker ! I can well understand any reticence to, though - it does feel like a giant leap into the unknown and a huge risk in terms of tempting fate...

*Karen*: Hope you're not reading this and are instead having too much of a fab time in the Czech Republic !

*Everyone else*: Still quiet on here... I hope everyone's ok, especially *Lynn*, *squirrel* and *ma-me* ?

*AFM*: I actually think the lure of chocolate may prove too strong and I might just have to head out to find some, even looking as I do today!

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - I hope you found some chocolate? It all sounds promising for you and your growing family being on the move   
Lynn - thinking of you and praying hard
Ma-me - I hope the long weekend has allowed you some healing time.
Squirrel - my phone ran out of juice but I´ll be in touch later  .
Maisie -   
Curly - I scrolled back through but couldn´t see any job updates - how it going?
Hula - congratulations
Pooky - It sounds like you deserved this long weekend and I hope you get to chill out a bit.
Karen - I hope you both had a lovely weekend relaxing and being all cultured   

Looooong whinge alert   .Easter here is about family and not chocolate. Skiing with the kids, painting eggs with the kids, lighting a fire and cooking sausages with the kids, or going to the movies with the kids ........ spot the common theme? I might as well have ´freak´ tattooed on my forehead this weekend   . In the last week I had my official diagnosis which is very tough reading, I had my driving license revoked, I had to read the psych reports about me, my marriage is on the rocks, I was outside last night at -6 lying on the deck puking my guts up over the edge and wishing my marriage was ok so that DH would come out with a blanket for me (I was only in PJs), I was up at 6am clearing up dog puke (unrelated reasons for being sick I swear), and I´m still too ill to even think about getting drunk or gorging on chocolate  . I scored really highly on compulsive behaviour but I´ve cured my OCD Smartie sorting I think. They were the last thing I ate before I was so ill so I doubt I will ever be able to eat them again ......... if only my other diagnosis´were so easily cured  . Oh and I have to go back to the hospital on Wednesday to see how I´ve coped in the real world and to see if I need to be locked up again  

Woe is me   ,
Lots of love to everybody, 
Katxxx


----------



## 1972

"Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings."

I wrote a long [email protected] post mainly for kat but lost it... 

We are here for you.    lots of love xxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Honor (and everyone else) - happy Easter (hope you all got some chocolate) x

Maisie - ah the joy of the frozen computer and the reboot  . xx

Kat - sweetie it is truly heartbreaking reading your post, and I know that any one of us would do anything to change what you are going through at the moment. Like Maisie, I too have a quote (unfortunately mine was gained from a trite film - the Princess Diaries, but it was one of Eleanor Roosevelt's so has led me to look up more of hers) - it is 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'.  It made me think about how the awful recruitment consultant crushed me the other week, and yes, I suppose it was because I let him.  I've also just thought about how your consultant told you to think about the good things about yourself and you were struggling. Your DH does love the very bones of you (even if things are very difficult at the moment), in your line of work OCD has surely got to be a positive trait -  a mild interest has never led to ground breaking discoveries in science and medicine! Not using your car means you are saving petrol and your walk with your dog begins the moment you leave the house not when you get to the park/the hills (I too am learning this one  )

We all know that you are a wonderful, wise, incredibly bright and knowledgeable, helpful and resourceful person with a wicked sense of humour (is this too much 'throwing of bouquets at you  ? ), unfortunately, like the rest of us strong minded and willful control freak buds, it is difficult to deal with the fact that you can't control your own fertility situation (be that if it is your body or DH's/DP's etc).  Thinking back, was there positivity in the psych reports which may have not, at first, seemed apparent? Is there anything you can question them on? You are wonderful Kat, and we all miss you when you go silent. Sending you a big hug  . xxx

PS - still no job. As yet, not a statistic because I am self-employed so no benefits for this bud.  However, I will be smiling when the Taxman rubs his hands to count all the taxes he thinks he is going to get and realises that there are thousands like me who have not been earning and have been hidden, so his coffers aren't going to be quite so replenished and brimming   (evil laugh  ).

hugs to all

Curlyone
xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

sorry for my little outburst. I think we can put it down to first day nerves since its my first day back at work after a month  . Thanks for  both being kind though and Curly, you can take off your rose tinted specs now   . And yes, there was a positive in my report ....... I'm not paranoid   (having spent a few days with a paranoid patient I realise how awful that must be). The car thing is stupid to be annoyed about as I hardly drive anyway, its more the principal and the wishywashy way it was dealt with ........ and it was the man with a bow tie who told me ........ I knew I wouldn't like him!

Curly - I'm very much looking forward to hearing about the day you can go back to that consultant to tell them where to shove their helpful words of advice whilst brandishing your brand new work contract   

Katxxx

PS. I have now discovered that when you mix an overgrown puppy with a large ball of wool, you get a self satisfied puppy and lots of smaller tangled balls of wool


----------



## Big hat

Kat - oh well then, if it was from bow-tie man I'd certainly have been reading his report with a raised eyebrow!  Did you question him on his motivation for wearing something that is obviously so contrived an attempt at being different, an eccentric academic (yawn), or is that something you are only allowed to think.......?   

Hope your first day back at work went well, and that you kept positive thoughts about yourself at the front of your mind.   

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Curly - I do worry about the shrinks being able to read my mind   . I had a followup appt today back at the hospital and my psychiatrist (who is lovely) thought the bow-tie-man was a bit drastic in stopping me from driving. I could tell she was thinking ´pompous   ´too


----------



## 1972

Glad you are back at work Kat .xxxxxx

Being a bit quiet buds, a lot on my mind. Catch up soon xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Just a quick one from me, as I'm having a busy week...

*Kat*: Hope you survived your Norwegian Easter, sounds like a nightmare . 
How did you get on at the hospital yesterday?
Make sure you don't push yourself at work - delegate and make loud and clear use of the word _*NO*_ if you feel like it's all getting on top of you 

*Curly*: Good to know you'll be getting the better of the taxman !

*maisie*: Hope you're ok... . Any news on the house? How's maisiemoo  doing at the moment?

 to everyone else.

*AFM*: TOTALLY frustrated with this company that was supposed to be calling DH Tuesday or yesterday. They didn't call . As far as DH is aware, from what the woman at the agency has told him (and why would she lie ?), they DO want to speak to him and wanted to make a decision this week (because some are off on holiday next week), but he isn't supposed to know that they plan to call him - she only told him in advance so he could be prepared for it. This morning he tried to call her to let her know they didn't call, but she's off ill today - b!oody typical . He's sent an e-mail directly to the relevant people at the company and so with any luck, they'll contact him today, or tomorrow. I can't help but have this horrible feeling that they're going to end up not contacting him this week though, leaving him/us hanging on even longer until whoever's away next week is back. Don't they realise they're keeping DH from his pregnant wife?!   
Rant over .

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh bless Honor, stay strong.  He'll be home soon enough - let's face it, it is a short week and a lot of people will be doing the bare minimum to get them through to the weekend  .  Just think of the look on DH's face when he comes home to see you with a baby bump - that has got to be a mindblower dose of reality and good fortune . xxx

Kat - if you do see 'that man' again, you can be just as dismissive and offhand as you inform him that they bowtie looks affected and undermines his authority  ....x

Maisie - sorry your head is so busy at the moment but, if it is to do with the house and your future plans then, as stressful as it can be it is all in a good cause   . xx

Squirrel, Karen, Rachel, Lynn, Jem, Ma-me - hope you ladies are ok.

Carey, Twinklie, Gladys - hope motherhood is treating you well. x

Hula - hey lady, where's the ticker  ?

Hi to anyone else.
xxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi buds  

honor so sorry to hear you are still alone, it must be so hard. xx

Hi Kat, curly, maise  hope you are all ok today. 

hello to everybody else reading hope you are ok too.

afm been a funny couple of weeks , just need to get back to normal i think now, whatever that is?  Dh starts working away during the week from the 23rd i am looking forward to it TBH but wont get the help with the dog and child.  Once I have got Ethans school sorted out i will give the TX my full attention.  I am not feeling so bright today probably the gloomy weather.  Going to the circus tonight so that should be fun.  L & L R xx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Honor- I'm ok. Just tired and stressed a bit. House awaiting survey results, then mortgage offer then hope will all go through in about 4 weeks Am desperate to buy stuff but can't! Mini mais is doing ok. Thyroid treatment has gone too far the other way so reducing dose. She's a bit of a zombie at mo and just eating and sleeping!  Was supposed to go to create today for scan but cancelled it.. My head is not ready to start the ball rolling yet, hit me hard with a migraine today so feel awful.. I've wasted £185 on it which I won't get back ..   but I just can't face it yet.. Can't explain... 

Hi to the rest of my lovely buds. Sorry I'm not doing any personals. Xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all enjoying that Friday feeling and are looking forward to the weekend .

*Curly*: Thank you for your kind words . Turns out agency woman really is ill and so someone else at the agency was going to try and find out what was happening, as according to the file for the job, the company had wanted to make a decision yesterday. Looks like there's been a genuine delay on the part of the company (DH said they weren't in any rush to fill the position) which no one has communicated to him with agency woman being off. Still annoying though, as he's now just hanging around to find out in case it _is_ a positive outcome and he has to go there to sign the contract, for example. _Really, really_ hope he gets an answer very soon and can then come home .

*Rachel*: Good to hear from you . Thank you for your kind words too .
Is DH going to be working in Birmingham? Will he be home every weekend?  that you're looking forward to it! But yes, I can imagine you'll miss the extra help with Ethan and pooch.
How was the circus?

*maisie*: Sorry to hear you're tired and stressed . You certainly have a lot on your plate and so it's probably a good idea to postpone any further steps in the tx plan until you're feeling a bit more settled and have some proper space for it in your head. Although I can imagine it's at the same time frustrating that you don't feel up to ploughing ahead with it... 
Great news on the house. That's such a big thing to sort out but you'll get there in the end and have the keys to your lovely new home in your hand before you know it . Then you can start nesting .
Glad maisiemoo  is doing ok. Hope the reduced dose helps bring her thyroid levels back down again.

*AFM*: Have had a busy week and am just waiting for someone "the other end" to retrieve my current file for me after the system stopped responding and I was then unable to reopen the file... 
Another weekend alone ahead of me but looking forward to some (window) shopping tomorrow, and hope to have DH back with me by next weekend . Please continue to keep fingers and toes crossed for some positive job news soon!!

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

DH didn't get the job. We're very disappointed, but also annoyed that the agency led him to believe that the company was interested in him and that he's had to keep chasing it up to try and get a straight answer. He's getting the coach home this evening so will be back sometime tomorrow afternoon or evening. He's going to be really down about it and so I hope it won't be too long before he gets invited to some more interviews, whether here or in Germany, and finally has some luck... Can't wait to see him, just wish under happier circumstances .

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

honor sorry to hear he didnt get the job but glad to hear he is on is way home.xx


----------



## Nordickat

to Maise


more   to Honor


 Rachel


 to everyone else.


----------



## Nordickat

Anyone ever tried qigong? Or anything similar?


----------



## 1972

Sorry to hear re DH job .. After all that! Glad he's on way home though    

Kat - what's that?!?!


----------



## Nordickat

I´m not quite sure maisie. Some sort of chinese alternative/mindfullness mumbo jumbo maybe. My phsychiatrist said I should try it as it helps with PTSD, depression and existential crisis apparently  . I´m some what skeptical so wondering if anyone has any experience of it. I have psychomotor physio on Monday so maybe I can ask her about it    .......... I do question who is the most bonkers sometimes, me or the ´experts´ that make up things like ´psykomotorisk fysioterapi´for example  .


Been thinking about you and worrying about you too


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - I tried it once. Spelt differently but think its the same, a bit like tai chi. I found it very relaxing and calming. I made dh go with me for an intro day and even he said he was relaxed after and he's mr sceptic re everything. Different poses relate to different elements and energies I think. You can learn to do the crane pose - think karate kid and pose in the lake - and that goes into a walk movement.

I did enjoy it and could hardly walk the next day. Not done it since though.

Honor - you must be thrilled that dh is on his way home. So sorry he's not had any luck with work. There will be something out there for him soon! 

Hi to everyone else. I hope to do a proper catchup soon!


----------



## Big hat

Kat - good luck with your psychomotor physio - let us know how it goes  . x

Honor - hope DH is home now, and that you are getting lots of lovely DH cuddles. xx

Pooky -oo, saw a very nice Laura Ashley striped stair carpet yesterday and thought of you - hope the decorating is going well. xx

Hi to everyone else.

hugs 

Curly
xx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - thinking of you today   
Honor - hope DH made it home safe and sound   
Pooky - I knew you'd have tried qigong type stuff. I'm still thinking about it.
Curly - I hope your bug status is moving towards butterfly status.

 for the buds hurting
 for the buds glowing

My weekend started with my laughing at an article about bee keeping being an extreme sport. My weekend finished with me no longer laughing about it, but being in complete support of it being a extreme sport. Bee up trouser leg = pain   

Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

http://www.quantummetta.co.uk/chikung/ kat - this is where i went - you could just try it for a session - obviously not there but you are welcome to stay over if you did do. it makes your arms ache tho!

ouch to bee sting!

/links


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well and had a good weekend .

DH arrived home safe and sound Saturday afternoon . Is SO good to have him back and really hope that something comes up here soon so that he doesn't have to go away again . Both very disappointed about the job he didn't get, so fingers crossed something equally good, or better, comes up very soon.

xxx


----------



## Carey

Morning lovely buds  

So sorry I haven't posted in a while

Hope u all had a nice easter & ate lots of choc... I ate way to much.

Lots of mixed posts.... happy/sad.....

Honor see DH is home YAY that's a hapy post    hope u got lots of cuddles xx

Kat OUCH naughty bee!! Did it gey out of ur trousers alive? Xx

Maisy sending u bih hugs hun xxx

Hi to pooky. Rachel, curly, mame, dee, karen, lynn, squirel & anyone I've missed xxxxx

AFM - we r ok. Both over our colds now. Oliver is 7wks & weighs a healthy 8lb 10oz, such a good little boy for us too.


Take care. Lots of love xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Curly - psykomotor fysio was actually really good   . 
Pooky - all the spring courses for qigong have started now apart from one and it turns out I know the lady ...... its put me off going since I really don't like her or her forceful philosophies. I think I'll wait til autumn but I'm going to check out your link for some info - thanks.
Honor - hoorah for hubbies being where they should be. And I really do hope things change of the job front soon.
Rachel - DH will be back at weekends won't he? I know it'll be hard work for you but it might be nice at the same time to have some space?
Carey - the bee copped it big time   

I'm off to meet my loonybin (or 'care in the community' as DH calls us  ) friends in a bit for coffee. Its a bit like being with you guys, no need to say anything as you all just 'know' and its quite liberating to feel normal.


----------



## Nordickat

*Hanna* - are you way up North? I'm in Åbu/Turku for a few days at the beginning of June but I have a feeling that it's hours from where you are?

*Twinklie* - thinking about it, I'm in Gøteborg in mid May if you are around?

Get me, the little Scandinavian jet setter


----------



## Gladys07

Ladies.. sorry for abandoning you this is the first time I have sat down at a computer in weeks and only have a couple of minutes as need to get ready for a hospital appt. I also can't access from my phone anymore x I was looking at our pics the other day from our lunch and so glad we allo got to meet, you are wonderful individuals. Sorry it is a me update post but you are all close in my heart and thoughts everyday

I haven't been reading as haven't been able to access so will do personals when I can sit down at computer for longer than 5 mins but* KAT* yes i have and have done Qi Gong amongst others and it does help relieve stress and balance the chi 

AFM - Stanley is 8 weeks this Thursday and having his first immunisations!! I know I updated a while back about infection well it then transpired after 3 weeks was MRSA and is still here, so all I seem to do was go to docs, hospital etc for first 6 weeks and as I couldn't drive or walk i was getting taxis and of course whole days were wasted as appts of course never on time. I have had to go and still am going to docs twice a week to have wound redressed. I did have a few emotional days as I just wanted do normal things and see somewhere other than my house, docs surgery pr hospital. Now I can drive and am not walking like the living dead any more I am much better mentally and even though still have appts etc I can get there on my on steam and also do normal things. Stanely is very good though don't get anytime to go on the computer and my to do list is very long and things are getting urgent but hey ho is sorting out my mortgage important! LOL xx So apologies for not being active on here,

I have updated my local group with the above post too and there are a couple of pics if you would like to look. Not sure what I did wrong as they are huge sorry

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=278248.30#lastPost

Take care ladies and I will hopefully catch up with you all again soon. xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Lovely to hear from you both, *Carey* and *Dee*. 
Thanks for sharing the link to photos of Stanley, *Dee* - he's absolutely gorgeous !

*Kat*: You're sounding more chipper . 
Don't forget our cake date in Bristol next month .

*Curly*, *Pooky*, *maisie*: 

*Karen* and *Squirrel*: Hope you're both doing ok? Missing you .

 for everyone else.

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies,

Just a quickie to say still love you all, am lurking and thinking about everyone! Just being quiet but have no fear, will be back with daft posts soon.  . Squirrel xxxx


----------



## 1972

D- Stanley is gorgeous!   lots of love , hope you are back to normal soon

Squirrel -      , good to see you back

Honor - glad dh is back xxxxxx

Carey - hi xxxx

Kat - glad to hear you at looking into avenues. Care in the community  , do you go on a minibus to meet up ?! Xx

Hi to everyone else  

Afm- hopefully enough sad stuff been and gone now. Time to look forward, onward and be more positive. Money is tight, create on hold for now til house sorted. Survey back AT LAST, few dodgy bits but nothing really bad... Weighed self this morning and have put on 9lbs in 12 weeks    so, focus to get back into exercise and lose it again.


----------



## Pookychops

D - he's gorgeous and you look so well and happy. I was thinking of you the other day as I was driving in your direction. I hope the Mrsa clears up soon- not what you want! I was speaking to a woman at work today and she said she bought cheap clothes for her hospital stay and then left them all there as she didn't want to take hospital germs home with her!

Squirrel - nice to see you. Hope you okay and your tail has a wee bit of fluff in it.

Kat - how did your get together go?

Curly - anymore job applications lined up? We tears having beige, blue and teal striped carpet, white wood panelling and then Laura Ashley pale eau de nil on the upper walls in the hall. It should freshen it up nicely. Hopefully get bedroom curtains soon - I think the neighbours have had enough of us flashing them every day   hope you're starting to feel a bit more chipper now. 

Maisie - when do you get your survey results? I hope your aunts funeral was ok. How's Maisie cat getting on now?

Karen - hello! Have you worked any next steps yet? 

Honor - glad dh is home, so sorry he didn't have any luck with work. Did he get feedback as to why he didn't get the jobs? I always find that helpful so you know how to improve for the next time.

Hanna - have you started work yet? When is dh moving over to be with you?

Lynn - I see from ** that you're ok. How's the new car? 

Hula - how are getting on? Any sickness? Hope it's all going well.

Ma-me - how are you? Treating yourself I hope. Did you get any feedback from the hospital as to why it didn't work!

Hello to anyone I've missed. Sorry I've not been about much, just been too busy with work and the last few weeks evenings have been spent clearing up. I have lovely new windows, plastering soon and then painting. I think my deadline of the end of may won't happen - unless dh takes a few cheeky sickies and I disconnect the computer/tv/phone! 

Heading home next weekend for my brothers 40th - we're going to some p,ace in great Yarmouth I think that is doing a French themed night - should be interesting! Will be nice to see the family as not seen them since Xmas.

Are we going to try and arrange another get together in may/June time? 

Love to all

Pooky xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Hope you are all well!
Honor - yes pretty amazing, pic is pretty cool feel quite priviledged to have seen bubs so early on as so many have to wait till 12 weeks. DH is in oz but hes back next week, not too much longer to be without him, we speak everyday so its not too bad and im glad its not for 2 months. So glad that your DH is home now but im sorry he didnt get the job he wanted. Companies and agencies have a lot to answer for with the messing around that they do - i dont think they realise that people are waiting to hear and  that they put such a lot into interviews etc esp your DH who has been away from you for so long and that you are pregnant.
Curlyone - thanks! im just trying to work out how to do a ticker! Always good to hear someone beating the taxman at his own game.
Kat - how are you doing? It was so heartbreaking reading some of your earlier posts. Really hope you are doing much better. Have you seen the pompous bowtie man lately?  Did you find out anymore about Qigong? is it like tai chi? tai chi is meant to be amazing. Id forgotten about your bees - how are they? lol at the extreme sport.  Sorry you got one up your trouser leg! You sound a lot more positive, how is work going?
Maisie - how are you? Sounds like you still have a lot going on. Hopefully once the house goes through everything will be a lot better. Thats a stress in itself dealing with everyone and all the reports, money solicitors etc.
Rachel - hope your having a better time of it now, when do you find out about ethans school? I can imagine it will be a weight off your mind when you know that is sorted.
Pooky - hey you, just noticed your ticker - thats moving up nicely. Have you anymore scans?
Carey -good to see you on here and to hear that Oliver is doing so well.
Dee - hey! ahh Stanley is gorgeous! lovely to see the pics. Sorry to hear you have really been through some rough times of lately, sounds nasty hope you are over the worst of it and that you are better soon. Stanley must be like your ray of sunshine through times when you have felt really poorly. 
Squirrel - hey lurker, glad you are about. come back soon!

Im doing ok, im nearly 9 weeks and feeling pretty much ok apart from being a bit more tired than usual. No sickness (yet!), been trying to eat healthily however the supply of easter eggs is diminshing quickly esp with DH being away. Been to my gp and i am now being referred back to my old nhs trust for appointments so just waiting to hear from them now. Told the parents our news and they are really pleased, its funny that we have told them not to tell anyone yet here i am broadcasting to the world on here!

been dicharged from my clinic and they have said i dont need to take the cyclogest anyone. I know its horrible stuff but i though i would be on it for 12 weeks so a much as i dont want to take it part of me is thinking that im stopping too early - has anyone else carried on until 12 weeks or was it earlier??

Anyway will keep you posted. A few chores to do now before bed, so i will sign off for now. Hope you are all doing ok buds. It must be a year since the darling buds first came about - we should have an anniversary celebration!?


love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hula - I think most places stop cyclogest at 8-9 weeks. They let me stay on until 12 weeks as Im sure they told me that I'd be on it for 12 weeks. I came off it slowly. I do still wonder if it was the cause of my bleeds. I dont think there's any evidence that it helps maintain pregnancy after this time as the placenta takes over.  Even though guys have discharged you don't forget that if you have any problems and your gp doesn't help you can generally get to see their cover doctor the next day.


----------



## 1972

Good to hear all ok hula xxxxxxx

Morning buds. Day 3 of diet and I wake up starving   needs must and all that


----------



## Nordickat

maisie - my banana for breakfast hasn't hit the spot either   . Diets suck!!


----------



## ma-me28

morning all have been lurking just not been up to posting head is all over the place.  
pooky i have review on 21st of may and how long will you be in yarmouth for? 
big hugs to everyone.x


----------



## Nordickat

ma-me   and   

maisie - I hope you are doing better than me today. I caved in and had hot chocolate ...... surely in melted form its not as bad as the real thing  . My vice is cake so todays big challenge is to go and get coffee later and not order a chocolate muffin too. I wonder if DH would drive our care in the community minibus and take us for day trips   

Honor - I need to check with DH but I have a horrid feeling that he did his UK trip while I was locked up. I'll be in Bristol in July though although hoping you won't be   

D - he is gorgeous   

Hula - glad things are going well for you. We have very confused bees. We have 10 degree sunshine one minute and they are all out buzzing about, then the next minute its snowing ....... poor wee things. They have started making honey already though and making babies   

Pooky - meeting again sounds good   . Remind me what colour your babies are? I found some gorgeous baby marino wool the other day and twinnies always need tiny stuff when they arrive don't they?

Squirrel - thanks for listening ...... and for so long  too   . I have blisters on my fingertips   

As for my chirpyness and positivity is all a bit fake. I have a huge psychologist shaped hole in my safety net at the moment as I got lost in the system and its causing me huge upset and panic. Oh and I'm in trouble at work over something stupid. I cost them a small amount of money by forgetting my sick note but the meeting they called to tell me off about it cost more than the actual fine   . All I can do is keep my head down, knit, cuddle my pup and focus on one foot in front of the other until things sort out. Meeting my loony friends was silly as I just wasn't up to it so felt very small and lonely. It'll be OK though


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*  ,

Wow - it was busy on here last night  !

*Squirrel*: Thanks for checking in - really good to hear from you  . Hope you're back all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed soon!

*maisie*: Good to hear you sounding more positive and determined again  . You've had such a lot to deal with all at once over the last few months and so needed that time to let yourself be sad, to grieve, to be angry even... It's great though that you're now ready to move onwards and upwards  . _*You can do it!!*_

*Pooky*: Sounds like your home improvement project is coming on well  . Love your description of the new hall decor - sounds lovely! Hope you can get it all finished on schedule!
Fab idea on another Cheesecake Fest! I can do May, possibly June, but (mid to end) May would be good  ?

*Hula*: Glad you're coping without DH - not long til he's back now!
That's great that you've reached the 9-week mark and are doing well!
Tickers are easy enough to do (once you know how!): 
Go to http://lilypie.com/Maternity_and_Pregnancy.php
Choose "Days and Weeks" and then "Full Size Ticker".
Choose a "scene", a "slider" and add your details.
You then need the last link in the list of links for "Forum signatures".
Copy this link to your profile details in FF.
As for the Cyclogest: Our clinic only gives you enough for 2 weeks and that's it. I asked about this at our follow-up and their "thinking" on it is that by then your body should have taken over producing enough progesterone and taking it any longer will only delay any miscarriage that's going to happen. That kind of made sense. I'd say if you've got this far, seen a heartbeat, then your body will already be doing what it needs to. It's very hard to trust in your body after all this, and I still find it hard to, but it does know what it needs to do and will be doing it, so try not to worry too much  .

*Kat*: Hope work's going ok and you aren't overdoing it  .

*ma-me*: That's understandable  . Hope your review comes around quickly enough so you can get some answers and perhaps decide where to go next.

*Hanna*: Yes, you've been very quiet of late. Hope you're ok and have just been busy sorting out jobs etc. Is DH there now, or still in England?

Love to all  ,

xxx
/links


----------



## Big hat

Very quick one as el poocho is giving me very sulky looks that I haven't walked him yet (well, it has been raining  ).  D, don't know how I missed your pics but have just seen them, they have given me goosebumps - Stanley is absolutely gorgeous, and you look radiant (despite what is going on with your scar and mrsa).  Fabulous - thank you for sharing. xxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi everyone

Gladys so sorry to hear you have had such a rough time of it , i wish you a speedy recovery , hope you have lots of support and are able to take time for you. much love to you and bubba.

Kat , I havent done qi gong but am convinced that meditation or any group where you can be peaceful is a good thing, really hope you start to get the right support from the medics soon, Im sure they are well meaning!!  love R

Hi honor , maise, pooky, curly, hula, carey, squirrel,hanna, karen thinking of you too.  sorry if i have missed you my memory is awful.

afm my big 40 on Friday got dinner with dh should be interesting not had night out just the 2 of us for so long i cant remember.  
I think he is planning to find a flatshare with a young bimbo or something, i have said that as im is wife i should be able to vito his accommodation, he is not happy at all.  
Hope we can get together again soon i would defo be up for it this time.  xxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ma-me - I'm just going to be up for the weekend but I'm hoping to do another weekend soon or a few days in June. Mum wants to take me shopping in holt as apparently there's lots of baby shops there. I would love to meet up but won't be able to arrange for next weekend as have to do mum, brother, dad and aunt and uncle and godfather It's gonna be a busy one. We're going to quayside plaza restaurant - have you been? Is it any good?

Kat - we have one of each flavour. Been told by three different scanners now so hopefully they have got it right - one woman on the twins thread was expecting two girls and two boys popped out so you never know! My mum has been knitting lime green cardigans! I'm impressed that you knit. I never could pick it up - I was very good at dropping stitches! Eat cake and don't worry, everyone needs little comforts in life and if it makes you feel good then why not. You walk the pooch lots so no doubt you'll burn it all off!

Heard from hospital that we were hoping to switch to today - they are not taking on anymore patients with July due dates. I'm really upset. I'd been feeling so much better about it all with the hope that I could get away from Barnet. the gp surgery will call me tomorrow to discuss. Was awake half of last night and so emotions are a bit more exaggerated today. Will review options after my next good nights sleep - hopefully that will be tonight.

Looking at the diary I can only do 20, 26 or 27 may and then not free till end of June! Blimey! Am also about the bank holiday weekend of 5/6/7 may. If anyone London based wants to meet up one evening I'm about.


----------



## beadyeyes

Hello all.
Not sure you will remember me but I was a Darling Bud/Cheesecaker!

I don't know if I ever let you lot know but I have a little boy! Stanley Peter (Dee and I have good taste!). He is amazing! He's 4 weeks old now. Just thought I'd let you know in case I haven't already!

I often read and think of you all - good luck, whether it be for pregancy, treatment or simply a happy future. xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - don't be under any illusion that I can knit properly. Cardis are way out of my league! I did try to knit booties for a friends baby years ago but she had started school before the first one was done! I only learned properly while I was locked up as its really good therapy. For all it's very calming, there are only so many scarves a girl needs   

Curly - flippin 'eck, you are allowed on the internet before taking pooch out   , there is no way mine would tolerate that. I was a bit mean yesterday and took mine to the GP with me and he had to wait outside ....... in the snow   , he did have his coat on though.

Beady - congrats

Rachel - do you do meditation and stuff on your retreat weekends? Have a fabulous night out on Friday and enjoy being just the 2 of you for a while. I was going to say life begins at 40 but I heard this week that its now 50 ....... I get the feeling they'll continue to move the goalposts and we'll never get there   

 to those in need.
Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Kat - you could always switch to squares and then make patchwork blankets


----------



## Nordickat

I've made cushion covers - big squares


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Firstly,  *Beadyeyes*! Stanley looks adorable, from your profile pic., which I'm assuming is your son ! I hope you're both doing well . Take care and enjoy !

*Curly*: Did pooch get you out for his walk yesterday in the end ? He wouldn't be too impressed if he were here today, at least: .

*rachel*: 40 tomorrow?! You kept that one quiet ! Whereabouts are you going out for dinner? I'm sure you'll have a lovely evening . You certainly deserve some "couple time".
Would be great to see you again in May or June, if we can come up with a date.

*Pooky*: One of my friends was just saying the other day that when they were told they were having a girl, her DH wouldn't let her go out and buy anything pink and girly just in case! I guess you can never be 100% sure if you're told you're having a girl, but surely 3 scanners can't be wrong ?!
How frustrating that the hospital you wanted to change to can't take you . Have you heard from your GP? I hope they can come up with a solution for you, as it sounds like you've had a nightmare of it with Barnet and I can well understand your reluctance to rely on them when it comes to the birth. !
I can do any of the May dates you mentioned, preferably the Saturday one though, for transport reasons...

*Kat*: I used to be able to knit - got my knitting badge at Brownies for knitting a, at the time, very "in" chunky jumper . I wouldn't have a clue now though... I did say to my Mum back when we were having tx that if I _did_ get pregnant, I'd take up knitting... er... no! I can see why it'd be good therapy, though, relaxing. I think you should start knitting scarves for your pooch (and Curly's too!) for when he's left waiting outside places for you !

*Squirrel*: Hope you're doing ok and are still lurking, in particular as I need to call on the services of our trusted online vet ! I'm hoping it's nothing other than the Ned  being clumsy when crazying and catching his head on the edge of the coffee table or something, but I keep noticing that he's got patches of blood just above his eye, the part where it's a bit bald (sometimes the one side, sometimes the other and sometimes both sides), as if he has somehow caught it. It looks probably more painful than it is, but am obviously a bit concerned that this keeps appearing and don't want him to be in any pain from it. Any ideas? Please also feel free to tell me I'm just being an overprotective, over-worrying mama !

Love and  to everyone else,

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

honor - i have some patterns for doggie jumpers ....... only in Norway


----------



## bell26

Hi girls,

Hope you are all well, I keep popping on to check how you are all doing. Only have
My iPhone as laptop finally broke !

One for you Hula, I took the rank pessaries for 16 weeks. I was advised at 14 weeks to cut down gradually. I was on 6 tablets orally and 6 tablets vaginally as my progesterone levels were low initially. I know it's scary coming off them but really it is ok, your body will be producing enough now.

Giuliana is amazing, I pinch myself everyday as I cannot believe we have finally been this lucky, being a mummy is hard work but worth every tear and awful injection. G is now 12lbs and smiling alot  

Love to you all xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi bell ,mood to hear from you xx

Beady- of course  we remember you. Congratulations xxxxxxxx

Kat - lol at the knitting convo. If someone gets the wool on needles for me, I can knit til my hearts content. But like you just knit a big straight line!   my gran taught me when I was young. I also did a mean cross stitch as a child too  

happy birthday to Rachel xxxx

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Nordickat

<-  I did knit a heart for my cushion. Its only for the cabin though which has no electricity so its dark enough not to be able to see properly   

Rachel - Gratulere med dagen! Have a lovely day and an even lovelier evening xxx


----------



## Pookychops

I love the cushion Kat


----------



## Nordickat

Thanks Pooky. You should see my next slightly over ambitious project   

I need advice. Impartial, not being kind advice please. I have a big work problem which I know might not seem big to some of you but its causing me a lot of upset because the rational part of me doesn´t work at the moment. I am the only one in my workplace of 200 people that can do my job. Not because I am anything special, its just that they only needed one of me and my skills are very specialised. No more specialised that anyone elses in their work area though. Noone else can do my job in the same way I can´t do anyone elses. My boss is on maternity leave so I have a tempory one, (who I chose myself) he is head of a different dept and his dept does have some people in it that aren´t very good and don´t bring in much money so are always stealing other peoples ideas and trying to sneak their way into other peoples projects, but my temp boss is financially responsible for them. Anyway, every year for the last 6 years, I have written a tender for a project (that I have won 5 out of 6 times) with the help of DH and one other person because that is all it has required. This years the project is much bigger and I need help for some others too, others I have chosen by their expertise in different things. My issue is that my temp boss is trying to include 2 people from his own section and keeps pushing them on me. They have nothing to offer and in the long run it will benefit them and probably cost me. I have tried to explain that I win contracts because of my CV and because I know what I am doing. Now these 2 additions are trying to tell me what to do and change the way I have been very successfully doing things for the last 6 years. I can´t get anyone to understand that. I can´t get DH to say anything which I would if he was any other leader but being married makes it impossibe in this case. He wants me to loudly blow my own trumpet but its just not me. He wants me just to say it how it is. I have never ever used my CV against anyone else and I understand what he is saying but its not how I work. The 2 that are interferring and stressing me out have PhDs from crap institutes and all they do is piggyback and DH wants me to just give them what for and shove my world class PhD under their noses and tell my boss straight that have nothing to offer on this. To me that sounds an awful trumpet blowing thing to do but I don´t know if thats just my current mental state  . What would you do? Would you flaunt yourselves like that? Sorry its so long and boring but nobody else is impartial and the stress of it has kept me at home today   .

Thanks and sorry for being such a dull buddy.
Katxxx


----------



## Jem2

Hi Kat,

Just read your post - personally (because I'm a hard faced cow) I would have a very frank conversation about the fact that they do not know what they are talking about they have never successfully won a contract however you have. You are not changing your way of working to fit in with their non-evidence based ideas compared to yours where you have evidence that your ideas win contracts. i would say to them that you are happy for them to be involved purely for an experience exercise however they must fit in with you and your team and simply observe the process. I would add the spin that you are working to the companies best interests and your results have proven you to be worthy of leading this project.

If you can't have a face-to-face conversation then i would suggest a very well worded email to your temp boss. It's simple the do as you request or they do it alone and loose the contract, if he is business minded he'll take the first option.

Jem x


----------



## Pookychops

kat - based on my current state of emotions I would probably sit down with my boss to explain it all and then cry on him until I got my own way   that's not good business though.

You do need to sit down with said boss and highlight your success with the tender previously -state that you know how to work it so that you win the tender. You also need to state that you need people on this who can do the work and to help you. You could always offer these two some work experience on the project when you get it if that would appease the boss.

As Jem said, if you're not up to a chat then sit down and write a structured email outlining your concerns - get dh to read it before you send it - this will help you blow your trumpet in a structured manner and if you structure your argument against these people effectively you may not need to overblow your trumpet. Plus using an email will remove any emotion from the argument/discussion and should help you cope better with the situation.

I hope that helps.


----------



## Pookychops

p.s any idea what i can get my brother for his 40th birthday? it's on saturday. i was going to buy him a days driving experience in a fancy car but you have to be below 17 stone and from what his wife tells me he's not.....


----------



## 1972

Kat - I'm with Jem.. You are the best person for this, your skill set and experience say so. Your boss probably doesn't know background and probs thinks he is helping.. Stop thinking you're trumpet blowing, you are just the best person for the task. Time to start blowing kats trumpet though   xxxxx


----------



## 1972

Try this pooky, I love this website,

http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/gifts/shop-by-recipient/for-him

Or .. Is he a foodie? One of my friends booked and paid for dinner at jamie Oliver's Fifteen for my 40th, was lush and a lovely pressie!
/links


----------



## Pookychops

Thanks for the link Maisie - I looked earlier but can't see anything that fits the bill. Based on the fact he weighs about 18 -19 stone I think I should avoid getting him a nice dinner   I suggested to hs wife a years membership to weight watchers.......

He likes cars and lorries and sausage rolls and apple pies......


----------



## 1972

Gift card for Greggs ??


----------



## Big hat

Morning!

Kat - I'm with the others - you need to tell your temporary boss - no, categorically no!  Thinking back to some much earlier posts I seem to remember that you have alluded to being reluctant to get into conflict, and to blowing your own trumpet.  You know how much pressure your job puts you under. You also know what you need to do to get your job done.  You have to think of yourself, put yourself first and be resolute in your opinion on this one. Blow that trumpet!  A little bit of pain now will save you an awful lot of pain in the future!

Pooky - gadgets are always good, or isn't there a cookery school on Marylebone High Street which does day sessions and wine tasting classes?  Maisie - love your suggestion about Greggs  .
xx


----------



## Pookychops

a years supply of sausage rolls would probably make him and my nephews very happy    wouldn't help with the waistline though  

his wife suggested some new aftershave so i may just get that - seems a bit of a cop out though. i've only got a half hour shopping window on wednesday otherwise i'll have to do internet


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I've been AWOL a few days, although I have been keeping an eye on you all ! Had a bit of a mad week last week and a busy (but lovely ) weekend.

*Rachel*: Happy Belated Birthday ! Hope you had a lovely day/weekend and enjoyed your dinner out with DH .

*Kat*: Sounds like you need to ditch your job and set up your own business knitting doggie jumpers, scarves and cushions (love the heart cushion, btw )! Seriously, though, I can understand your dilemma - I too would be too "scared" to say what I really thought about the whole situation and blow my own trumpet. I'm afraid though that the others are right and that making a stand now and offering a compromise will save you a lot of hassle and aggro in the long term. I hope you can be brave and come to a solution you're happier with . Perhaps take up *maisie's* suggestion of sending your boss an e-mail, outlining your concerns and arguments.

*Bell*:  Good to hear from you, and so happy for you that everything is going so well with baby .

*Jem*: Good to see you on here too . How are you? What's happening with your appeal?

*Pooky*: *Curly* beat me to it on the cookery class gift idea  ! Sorry I can't be of any more help - it was hard enough to know what to get DH for his 40th back in Feb.! Hope you can come up with a fab idea! Perhaps if you don't have long to look around for something and would like to get him something a bit different and more special fo a landmark birthday, try WHSmiths as a first point of call, as they have loads of gift experience giftcards. Otherwise, *maisie's* website suggestion is good - they have some really cool ideas!
Any news on your request to change hospitals?

*Curly*: Hey there . Any news from you?

*maisie*: Hope you're feeling a bit brighter . Are things moving on the house front? Do you have a moving date yet?

Looks like some work on its way, so had better leave it here for now...

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - I´m trying to think of all the 40th presents we have bought people but I´m not sure it´ll help any - snowboard googles, personal trainer session, dinner out at a fancy restaurant that he wouldn´t normally go to (if you can´t go too then get his wife to pay and you pay her back and just make a homemade voucher for it), day out at the zoo, beer festival tickets, music events tickets. Boys are so hard to buy for! Oh, does he like wine? You could get him some vines in France. How about an olive tree or ****** lime tree or something (plants4present.co.uk used to be a good site)

Thanks for all of your advice. I know you are all right and I should do something but I have decided to hide out at home for a bit longer. I declined a meeting on Friday but the gits rescheduled for next week but it at least gives me more time. Maybe if I can do a fab job before the meeting it´ll be clear I don´t need anyone butting in ........ only problem now being that my concentration is about 2 minutes at the moment and I do clearly need some sort of help   . I feel like I have vultures circling overhead all of the time waiting for me to fail so they can feed on the scraps. DH and I are so professional at work and not everyone even knows we are married, and it frustrates me that we go to all this trouble and yet I am continuously battling against nepotism elsewhere   . My research group are being taken out for a fancy dinner tomorrow night and I am so going to get my wine quota to make me feel better.

Hi to everyone xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey Buddies!
Firstly huge apologies for the longest absence ever. I have never meant to neglect you all but have had so much going on lately, I'm rather exhausted.
*Dee- *Baby pics are gorgeous, and you look like a proud happy mum! 
*Kat-* I agree with most, keep fighting your corner, do not let those know-nothing-people come and take credit for the excellent work you have done. About June... and Turku/Åbo, I love that city, especially at summer. Turku is about 8 hour drive from my city Oulu (according to Google maps) I would've thought it took less than that to drive there but I suppose it takes 8 hours if you drive according to the limits   Let me know closer to the time and I will see if I can sort a mini trip there if you have any spare time xx'
*Maisie*- Hope you are well and the moving date comes around soon. It is a very long process, can you believe that the sale of our house in U.K is still not through! The buyer had bank problems and now had to take 2 separate mortgages from 2 banks, which meant 2 extra surveys etc, so needless to say, hubby is still there :/
Curly- Hope things are going well with you. Don't worry about the silly recruitment people. I actually turned down a full time job last week as the boss kept talking to me like I was nothing even before I was due to start.
Pooky- I am the worst gift buyer in the world... ummm... thai massage?  
Bell- So happy for you, Glad your mummy-baby time is going well. You truly deserve it xx
Beadyeyes- Stanley is gorgeous! Very happy for you xxx
Everyone else- I hope you are all well xxx
afm- So... Where do I start. It has been very hard work trying to start anew here. I found a job at H&M which is part time but am still looking for somewhere with more hours. Finnish bureocracy is beyond belief, and I still haven't been granted permission for Finnish social benefit, as I don't have a permanent address. I found a flat finally though so hopefully should move in 1.5.12 and then everything should start running smoothly. (fingers crossed) . Missing dh sooo much, it has now been over a month since I've seen him, but he finally accepted me as his ** friend   True love, eh? 
Take care you all,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Pookychops

Bum! Just been to gp for antenatal check and he decided to try and find babies heartbeats. He found one but not other and so I'm now sat up the day unit waiting to be checked over. I can feel movement but so hard to know if it's both or just one. Am freakibg out slightly but this happened at last check up too and they got the scan out and saw heartbeats straight away. I just hope they hurry up and start monitoring me before my blood pressure goes through the roof!


----------



## Honor77

*Pooky*: Hope they can see you soon, and that it turns out to be a case of deja-vu after last time. Keep us posted... 

*Hanna*: Good to have you back ! Glad you're finally getting there with settling into your new life in Finland. Hope DH can join you soon; I know how hard it is to be apart for such a long time .

*Kat*: Definitely enjoy your share of the wine tomorrow night !

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Phew! All ok  she was just hiding!


----------



## Honor77

Thanks for the update, *Pooky* - so relieved all's well!

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

that was a bit of a weird one. I could feel movement but because there is two in there you just never know. So was trying not to panic - although i think I would like a battering ram on my car for when i need to get to the hospital quickly and its chucking out time at school!  

I had a feeling before the GP started trying that he would only find one heartbeat so i was trying not to stress. The nurse said to go on movements and if i don't feel anything in the pattern that i normally would then have something to eat and then lie down on my side and wait for movement. If nothing happens then its time to call the hospital.


----------



## 1972

Quick hello ladies,

I'm up and down at mo. work is stressing me out at moment, feel so tired all the time with banging headaches. 

Thinking of you all. Catch up more soon xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Very quiet on here again... Hope everyone's ok ?

*maisiemoo*: Sorry to hear you're up and down and a bit stressed out. No wonder you're tired with headaches with everything that's going on for you . Have you been to see your GP - perhaps they could sign you off for a bit or give you some advice on/something for the headaches?

*Pooky*: Hope the Pookettes are behaving themselves . 
Did you find something for your brother's birthday present in the end? Hope you have a lovely time with your family in Norfolk!

*AFM*: Not much to report really... DH has had some more interest re. jobs, although all in Germany, just at the phone call stage at the moment, so I'm trying very hard not to get myself all in a tizz that he might not be here for the 20-week scan either . There is one, though, that I'm quite keen to come to something - it's in a small town BUT right on the border with France, much more my cup of tea . As we want to try and bring up baby bilingually, being able to actually live in France would definitely be a bonus. (Btw: DH's, and DH's family's, 2nd language is French and I speak French too, so there's a genuine, logical reason behind this!)

Hope everyone has something nice planned for the weekend, despite the gloomy forecast...

xxx


----------



## 1972

Great in principle honor but, just can't get time off. No one does my work when I'm not there so it just makes it worse I get back. Vicious circle. My team are under staffed but no budget to recruit as we saved redundancies by not filling vacancies, so there's an element of shoud be pleased to have a job..

However, on a better front mortgage offer finally in so ball rolling to exchange. Thank goodness.

Hi to everyone. Lots of love xxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Typically I'm wide awake early on a Saturday .

*maisie*: Sounds awful . Are things at a stage that you'd consider looking for something else? Or would that just cause more stress?
So glad that things are looking good on the house front  - hope that despite the extra work and stress moving involves, it's at least _exciting_ work and stress that will be a good focus for you when you need it .

*AFM*: Anyone else on T-Mobile and having problems making and receiving calls at the moment? Both DH and I are with T-Mobile, have different phones and while I'm on a contract, DH is PAYG but neither of us are able to make or receive calls, which makes it look like it's a service issue. Could be just in this area. Going to go into a T-Mobile shop today to hopefully get it sorted.

Enjoy your Saturdays, *Buds*!

xxx


----------



## 1972

We are all very quiet at the moment. Thinking of everyone xxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

evening everyone!

Honor - The France/Germany border sounds much more appealing to me too. Fingers crossed for DH.
Mais   
Hanna - good luck for the big move tomorrow. I´ll let you know my timing later this week when I´ve booked my flights.
Pooky - I guess she was just giving you a taster of the worry to come over the next 18 years or so ...... little monkey   . 

 to everyone else.

I am confused and I hope some of you UK buds can help. I went underground a week ago and you were all dried up and frazzled in a drought. I resurface again today and you are all flooded   Did I sleep through a few months or did I dream the drought thing? I realised something today too. I had a psychiatrist appt and she was almost in tears and the same thing happened with my old pyschlogist a couple of times too. My 2 fav psych nurses were holding back tears when I left the hospital too. I thought it was normal but apparently not and I get extra treatment and text messages too .............. I reckon driving them all so crazy that they end up near tears, and put so much effort into me getting better so they don´t have to see me anymore, is something to be proud of   . Right, big scary controversial presentation to write (we´ll gloss over the fact I have panic attacks just getting on the bus at the moment  ), the environment minister will be there so no pressure to perform  . 

Love, Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

But Kat - we may be underwater but there's still a drought on!  

Good luck with presentation. I'm Sure you'll be fine as you're an pro at such things   are you being discharged then? Or did you stomp on their toes to make them cry?


----------



## Nordickat

My razor sharp sarcastic tongue has been known to cause the odd eye watering injury  I´m discharged from the hospital now but not from the system. I have outpatient appts starting next week but until today I´ve had regular hospital appts to make sure I´m still alive, oh and 1 of my friends has been readmitted so I´ve been going back as a visitor too ...... maybe that was why they cried, they thought I was coming back   . I´m guessing you don´t want to know about my sunburn this weekend while you are sat watching tv in your wellies, or my BBQ yesterday and tomorrow


----------



## Pookychops

We had sun today   my weekend in Norfolk was rather windswept and wet! I had to wear my mums winter coat as I have now grown out of mine! Good job she's a bit of a tubster  

Oh and I decided on aftershave for my brothers present. Quite a dull present but it was expensive and he liked it cos the bottle was shaped like a hand grenade  boys hey?!

Kat - I'm sure they had tears as they were happy to see you and will miss your little visits! Did you get your work issue sorted?


----------



## Nordickat

My work issue has been delayed. DH needed somebody to do a really tedious project for him and gave it to my problem person so she is now preoccupied with her own self importance in somebody elses office rather than mine. Hopefully I´ll be on top form again by the time she is circling around my work again looking for carrion.


 at your brother ........ boys really are all the same simple creatures aren´t they


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Kat*: Good to see you back in the Cheesecake fold .
Good luck with your presentation, and stop making people cry  !

*Pooky*: Glad you had a good, if not somewhat windswept, weekend with your family and that your brother liked his birthday present .
Hope the Pookettes are behaving themselves.

*maisie*: Hope you're having a less stressful week at work this week .

*AFM*: Still quiet on here... Sending big  to all lurking *Buds*, thinking of you all...

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello lovely buddies.

I am so sorry I havent been on here. I havent got the mental energy to go back through posts so all I can say is hi, hope everyone is heading forwards - wherever they may be!   for everyone and they are long overdue I think. I needed a break and now I am dipping my toe back in! 

Love to you all, hope you havent forgotten me and my bushy tail?! Not that bushy but still present   xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

hey squirrel - good to see you. I was just thinking of you earlier. are you just dipping your toes back in here or are you gearing up to start treatment again? how's colin?

Kat - how are you today? good weather for a bbq? I keep seeing BBQ adverts on telly and at the moment such a thing just doesn't seem possible!

hello to everyone else  

i had a glucose tolerance test this morning - I had to starve myself till lunchtime. I got home scoffed lunch, felt sick and then went to sleep - so glad I didn't have to go into the office as felt like crap! I'm supposed to be working........

my oh  my david dickinson is orange!


----------



## Nordickat

Happy May Day buds!

I´m fine thanks apart from being a tad sunburnt ...... it shouldn´t be possible to get burnt this far North this early in the year  . 
The whole fasting thing is just evil IMHO. I always end up with a late appt like you if I have to starve myself .... I´m sure the Drs do it on purpose.

Anyone had an EEG before? I´m really nervous about it. There is loads of info attached to my appt invite and its really scary reading   

 squirrel & honor

 Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

kat - not known anyone to have one. I just wrote a reply that was related to ecg - glad i checked it before i posted if not i would have looked most daft!    are they testing you for epilepsy then? it looks like you get to have lots of sensors attached to your head - you will look most fetching  

my brother is in the netherlands and rubbing it in on how nice the weather is - git! I've just checked the weather for our bank holiday weekend and it looks pants! I'll be painting anyway i think. Dh is playing at the opening ceremony of the olympic stadium on saturday - it's the marching showband that he's in doing some stuff. I just he manages to start some type of diy in the morning before he goes! he then has a band do on the sunday night up north somewhere - if i'd known about the saturday gig beforehand i wouldn't have let him go to that one. I was asked but spending the evening with a bunch of very drink people isn't my bag at the moment!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Squirrel*: Lovely to hear from you . Thanks for your text - hope you got my PM? Hope that tail is getting bushier by the day, ready to take on the world  - _you can do it_ !

*Pooky*: Oh, is a glucose tolerance test standard procedure? When will you get the results? Hope everything's ok!
Did you get any work done in the end yesterday then, or spend the rest of the afternoon watching daytime TV ?!
What does DH play in the marching showband?
Painting sounds like a wise choice for a rainy bank holiday weekend, much better than marching at a stadium !

*Kat*: So THAT'S why you're back - to rub our noses in it over the weather ! Yesterday I noticed a whole shelving display dedicated to BBQs in our local Tesco Metro - they'll be lucky!
As for the EEG, sorry, but I have no idea what's involved. Hope it's nothing too scary or uncomfortable . When's your appointment?
Oh, and what's the latest on your previously scheduled trip to Bristol? Would be lovely to see you and scoff cake if the trip's still on .

 to everyone else, especially those in need...

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - I always think American Pie and band camp when you talk about your DHs marching band    

Honor - Just checked with DH and he did his UK trip while I was locked up. I'll be passing through at some point over summer though.

You should allow me some gloating time about the sunshine since its not very often I get the chance ........ I spend most of my year in darkness remember! My EEG is next Wednesday and the reason I am having it is the bow tie consultant   . I'm sure zapping my head will be fine and the results will be too.


----------



## Honor77

*Kat*: That's a shame  - hope to do cake at a later date instead .
Ok, you're forgiven with the sunshine gloating !

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

they have to dress up like toy soldiers  http://www.hertfordshire-showband.org/default.htm sadly he missed appearing on the zingzillas  he plays the trumpet - the band played my down the aisle at our wedding which was quite nice and then they played on the lawn in the afternoon while we were having drinks - thankfully they didn't wear their uniforms

kat - maybe bowtie man thought he'd give you more insights into mental health tests. thank god that we're past the days where you had to have electric shock treatment or a hole drilled in your head! was lithium the other dodgy treatment or is my brain playing tricks on me

honor - i'm going to be in bath soon for the weekend but don't think we'll have the time to pop across to bristol which is a shame as we could have met for coffee (decaff of course). i managed to do very little yesterday afternoon - aside from snooze - shh don't tell my boss!

I've got to have the GTT test as my dad has diabetes and my grandad had it, which combined with twins puts me at higher risk. oddly enough, since drinking that really sweet drink yesterday I have gone off sweet stuff! i'm sure normal cake/chocolate cravings will resume shortly  i get all the hereditary illnesses in my family - my brother had acne and that was about it!

I'm about to embark on five working days of brain dumping - god help the poor soul who has to listen to me. I barely slept last night and brain is not plugged in and I've got to teach him some really confusing stuff - i've put a pretty presentation together so hopefully that will help.... i also think he struggles to understand me as i talk to quickly and he just nods and says yes... not good! he's flown in from india especially  
/links


----------



## Nordickat

Mr Pooky has a very cool hat. I'm still going to check the American Pie credits though and look for his name  . Good luck teaching your man. I find waving may hands a lot adds to the confusion of talking way too fast.

Lithium is still used (for manic depression/bipolar I think). I asked for a frontal lobotomy on Monday and they psychiatrist was undecided about whether I was serious or not ........ or maybe she was just too scared to tell me its called an EEG these days and I'm actually having one next week  .

Katxxx

PS. I got a bit more sunburnt over lunch today


----------



## Honor77

*Kat*: There's definitely nothing wrong with your funny bone anyhow !

*Pooky*: Hope you're being more productive today, young lady ! I love freelancing - no one cares if you mess around on FF!
Enjoy the brain dumping! Is this because you're off on maternity leave soon (already ?)?

xxx


----------



## bell26

Hey buds,

Thought I would leave this link with you so you can have a look at our little girl if you want to 

http://m1069.photobucket.com/albums/Giuliana2012?newest=1

Much love x
/links


----------



## Nordickat

I´m done with sunshine now and you can have it to yourselves  . I had completely forgotten about the heartbreaking downside of hot weather and its a long time since I´ve seen so many semi naked pg bellies out and about. I know most have you have forgotten what it feels like (and never need to remember thankfully), but I swear they all had big stickers on their belly buttons ´Look at this Kat! You´ll never know how this feels! YOU FAILURE!´   I probably need some more time out I guess but as you know I always bounce back soon.


  and   for now, Katxxx


----------



## 1972

Kat. I'm with you honey. you aren't a failure. Hey, at least we'll never have stretch marks on our tums??  Lots of love . Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bell - lovely pics xxxx

Hi to everyone. Where's curly, she's being very quiet .   xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Up early this morning .

*Bell*: Thanks for sharing the link! Lovely photos . Guiliana looks like one very content baby!

*Kat*: Sorry the big bellies have spoiled the sunshine for you . But you are in no way a failure, lovely Kat . Life can be so b!oody unfair and I wish so much you didn't "have to" feel this way...
If it's any consolation (although probably not so much coming from me...), I do still have an aversion to them too. I certainly don't get all this flaunting it. Be big, be proud, but show some decency, respect and sensitivity, in public at least. 
My other perhaps "wierd" thing is that I still can't bear to look at small babies . My mum thinks I'm being ridiculous but I still somehow find them a harsh reminder of what we've been through, and what could still go wrong ("worry wort" doesn't cover it ). Is that really bad ??

*maisiemoo*: Hello . Hope you're having a more bearable week at work . Hope too that you're having fun planning for your move and new home!

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Im with you kat and maisie - i swear everyone is out to taunt us  . 
Kitten - think eeg is just to check brain activity and shows all sorts of electrical activity with different leads attatched to you. Am sure it wont be bad, and sure it is just them dotting i's and crossing t's with investigations. Either way, i know you can deal with it, even if it is annoying having to do what mr bow tie man wants. Keep going buddy. You are not alone in the pg belly trauma, and i sympathise, empathise and rant with you. Huge hugs xx

Maisie -   and hows the rest of this week panning out for you? Xx

Honor - will PM you today, thanks for being lovely. Xx

Pooky - hey chick. Hope the brain dumping goes well. Just dipping toes and having a think about telling people about treatment plans or keeping quiet. Xx

Karen - if you are there, thank you xx

Curly - come back or PM me - hope you are ok xx

Colin brought me a dead vole as a present to my bedroom this morning. What a charmer xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

It's the thought that counts, *squirrel* ! Glad Colin is looking after you and trying to help cheer you up . Neddy has turned into a real huggle machine, which is lovely . I said to DH it'll be like having twins when baby arrives, as Ned is constantly following me around and literally getting under my feet wanting attention ! I'd already spent some time with him the other morning before my shower but when I came out of the bathroom, he was waiting for me right by the door and immediately fell on his back for tickles and kept doing so all the way to and around the bedroom, to the extent that I had to chuck him out so I could get dressed! Wouldn't change him for the world though . Does Colin have a good area to play in and explore? Ned has only recently started going out, but is still a little unsure so hasn't ventured too far, or for too long, mainly hanging out by the back door, and if feeling _really_ brave, further into the garden. He seems to have made friends with the Neo look-alike from down the road, but is less sure about Neo's girlfriend from 2 doors away who, it seems, is a bit of a bully with new kitties on the street .

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - my wee Bessie is the same. She gets really annoyed if her brother gets any attention from me and she insists on sleeping next to me each night. If I wake up and she's not there I get worried. I've started letting the cats out a night, well they have the choice to go out. I do worry about them but I have to let them grow up and we'll have to start shutting them downstairs soon at night and they won't like that at all. Spoilt trotted they are  

Squirrel - I'm glad I only get worms and sticks. Sending you a big   and hello and I have everything crossed for you in prep for your next cycle.

There are a lot of pregnant bellies out there at the moment. It does seem like everyone is pregnant and I'm spotting lots more baby on board badges on the underground. I know it's tough so big   to you all.

Kat - you're not a failure! You're successful in so many things that you do and you're a lovely person. Life is just a complete and utter ***** with not giving you the one thing you want the most!

Maisie - hello   I've now got a good plasterer called eamon to add to my builder list if you need one. House is a complete tip at the mo with renovations but I can see paintining happening soon and my house will finally be a lot nicer than it was before and most traces of Rita and reg will have been removed (previous owners)

Honor - I finish at the end of may. I have three weeks leave to take before mat leave starts. I'm so looking forward to not having to go to work. 

Brian dumping is hard work and I'm amazed the guys from India are picking it up so well, well they seem to be and I can have intelligent conversations with them about the issues in the modeling - could never do with with my team members as they never got the data or the numbers! Don't tell our clients that  

Bell - lovely photos! She's gorgeous. 

Hello to Lynn, Karen, curly, Rachel and everyone else. Hope you are all well.

Dh has just gone down pub and so I'm going to get in my pjs and watch rubbish tv!


----------



## ma-me28

morning all
just quick post   kat i know how you feel when i got bfn this cycle all i saw were pregnant women.x
afm not much to report still really confused about what to do i feel the one option we have im really not ready for and the options we do have we have no money for  , i have had new tattoo done just to mark our 3 cycles and have decided to study with ou to do my level 4 in childcare im kind of hoping the distraction might help with a miracle bfp.x
big hugs to everyone will do more personals soon.x


----------



## 1972

Ladies....it's almost 6 months since we met, and a year since the cheesecake gang was formed. I think it's time for another meet up. 

Any takers ?!?! Xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Maisie - I´ve just booked flights to see Karen in a couple of weeks      but it means there is no way DH will give me a pass to come to London too ......... you are all always welcome here though   


Pooky and Honor - trust me, I´m pretty rubbish in most areas, not just motherhood. Thanks though and I do at least try to be a nice person.


ma-me and squirrel


----------



## rachel1972

hi maise Im up for it.  xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well and are having a good long weekend ! I was working all day Saturday and today and so haven't really benefited from it... That said, I did take off Friday and won't be working Thursday, so it's more a case of juggling my time !

*ma-me*: Good to hear from you. Sorry you're having a hard time of things at the moment . Good on you though on deciding to do an OU course - it will hopefully be a good distraction while you work out what to do next tx wise, and you really never know, you may well find yourself conceiving little miracle .

*Pooky*: Bessie sounds fab ! Ned sleeps downstairs already, so that won't be an issue. I do worry a bit though that he'll feel neglected or left out, as he has been the baby so far. He's such a lovely, loving kitty and I'd hate for him to be miserable if he finds he's getting less attention, but they're highly adaptable creatures so I guess he'll be fine, Bessie and Archie too!
He's still being bullied by Neo's girlfriend though . Yesterday he was quite happily sitting around in the garden and playing with the Neo look-alike when *she* appeared and chased him into the house!
Enjoy your last few weeks at work !

*AFM*: I'd _*love*_ to meet up with everyone again, but unfortunately just can't afford it , especially as I have quite a few things coming up over the next few months: visits, visitors, 60th birthdays...

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Hope you are all well, i havent really read back properly sorry if i am missing any big news in the bud world. Sorry i havent posted for a while, needed a bit of space in the last few weeks, sad news is that i have had a miscarriage.    and we are heartbroken.

I had some brown spotting and from everywhere clinic included they said not to worry unless you are in pain/cramping or if it goes red. Within a few days it had gone red but was still quite light. As i had been discharged from guys they said if it gets heavier or if im worried go to my local a&e. Decided to go to a&e the evening i started having the red blood and they didnt seem to worried either as it wasnt that much. It continued mostly brown on and off until a few days later when i had first midwife appointment which is i think why a&e werent too bothered as i was seeing the midwife. I mentioned the spotting to mw and they chased up a&e to see where my referral had disappeared to as i should have been on the list for an early scan at the early pregnancy unit - the donut dr hadnt sent it off ! Anyhow the ladies were lovely and despite the scan place being closed they said they would scan me and thats when we saw that there was no heartbeat and despite being just over 10 wks pg they said it was v small for that stage. i cant even begin to say how we felt at the point where she said all this, just so devastating.

Thankful for having private medical insurance and a lovely consultant, we went to our local private hospital  the next day and i had an erpc. Consultant was great and is helping us with having a few tests to see if we can find out what went wrong or if the conclusion is just bad luck. Bloods and chromosome analysis results to come back in the next few weeks.
I still cant believe this has happened, its just so sad. This time should have been so happy for us as we would have been 12 weeks in the next few days and having scan next week so would have been sharing our news with everyone. Im really sad for us but even more so for our families as they were all so excited about their first grandchild/neice/nephew and i know they cant bear to see our pain just like i cant bear to see theirs. Its also really hard as the family dont know we have had ivf and all keep saying oh just try again.  

Anyway buds, thanks for being there and i may well lurk in the background for a bit.
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Just a quick  for *Hula*. What devasting news . Life is so b!oody unfair, I could scream . I hope you're getting as much support as possible from DH, friends, family, your GP and clinic... You know where we are if you need us .

Thinking of you,

xxx

I'll try and do a longer post soon - had a busy week so far, but always thinking of you all . xxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hula - my heart goes out to you. Take some time to grieve, but please know that you havent done anything wrong, and there was nothing you could have done. There may have been something wrong with your angel, and that was why they couldnt develop further. It doesnt make the world any less cruel but there was nothing you have done. Thank goodness your doctors and family and friends have been the for you. Huge hugs, squirrel xxxx


----------



## bell26

Hula,

I am so sorry sweetheart. It's something no one should ever have to experience. Sending you massive massive cuddles. Only one suggestion for you Hun, maybe you and DP should go to a nice lake or river, find a quiet spot and release a white balloon for your angel baby, I know this helped me so much.

Lots of love xxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hula - I'm so sorry to hear your bad news...   sending you big hugs xxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

I'm so sorry Hula


----------



## rachel1972

Hula sorry to read the sad news


----------



## Pookychops

Hula -    so sorry to read your news. It's just not fair! I hope the tests will provide you with some answers. One of the hardest things is not knowing why these things happen.


----------



## ma-me28

hula im am so sorry to hear your news.x


----------



## Karen_S

*Hula *- I was so shocked and sad to read your news, and I'm sending you all the  I can muster.
I can't begin to understand what you are feeling at this time, but know that we are all thinking of you.

As Squirrel said, there was nothing you could have done. Nature just takes it course and can sometimes be very cruel.
We will never understand this insane world of fertility /infertility.

Take care of yourself and remember that grieving is perfectly OK. You need it.

Karen xxx

_*I ask not for a lighter burden but for broader shoulders.*_


----------



## Karen_S

HI everyone,

I'm still alive, still smiling and plodding along, just taking each day at a time.

I hope you are all well and enjoying some sunshine, no matter where you are or what stage you are at.

Just thought I'd say a quick hello. 

Karen xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Thanks buds, it means a lot knowing you are all there and i really appreciate your kind words and support. Life is just so unfair and it seems there has been quite a lot of sadness on the thread of lately (apart from the baby buds born this year- i think that is the one thing that gives us some hope) but hopefully things will be on the up for all of us.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Hula*: You sound very brave and strong . I _really_ hope that your time will come; in the meantime, look after yourself as you grieve for your precious angel .

*Karen*: Lovely to hear from you, and glad you're feeling brighter . What are your current plans? Keeping everything crossed for you too that one day soon everything will fall into place - you deserve it to so much .

Same for all my other lovely Buds who are still fighting this cruel battle - wish there was more - something, anything - I could do to make your dreams come true... Here for you all any time, and sending constant positive vibes your way .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hey buds  

Hope you are enjoying the sunshine.

Karen - nice to see you on here - hello  

Hula -  

Honor - hello  

I went for an eye test the other day and I now need glasses (old age creeping in there I think   ) anyway, I ended up spending about half an hour advising the receptionist on fertility treatment, what it's like to go through and the different ways it can impact you. I gave her tips on how to select a clinic and told her to come on here for support. She'd had an ectopic pregnancy and lost a tube as they took over a month to diagnose her! I like to think that I helped her a bit and I find that I'm quite open about IVF when people ask me if twins run in the family (plus I'm useless at lying) and say, no we had a bit of help - people either shut up then or ask questions. No doubt I'll have another chat with her when I go to pick up my glasses next week!

;/............../ - that was from Archie cat  

Maisie - I'm about to meet up and can do June - although my availability seems a bit uncertain at the moment. I've got to have extra monitoring as one of the twins isn't growing as she should so I have to keep an open mind about when they will appear!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Pooky*,  to you too!

Not _necessarily_ old age !! I need glasses for driving, cinema and TV, and have done for a good few years! I'm glad you were able to give the receptionist some fertility tx advice and tips. Perhaps you can negotiate some sort of discount on the glasses in return !

I hope twin girl catches up with her growth. I'm sure she'll be fine, though  - am sure I read something somewhere about this being a common occurrence with twins and more?

We had our scan yesterday and found out we'll be having a delivery from the pink storch!

Hello to Archie  - Ned  is getting braver outdoors and it's lovely to watch him pad around, all alert and intrigued by this new environment! We do though have the water spray at the ready for whenever bully cat makes an appearance... 

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations Honor! team pink   Was dh with you? It must have been good for him to see the scan seeing as he missed the first one!

The sexes of ours were confirmed again this week - poor boy will be master bates - i do wish that dh had taken my surname  

we've got blue tits nesting in our nest box above the bathroom window and to torture Archie we open the bathroom window slightly and he sits there trying to push it open and chittering away. He used to jump onto the roof but since we moved the greenhouse he can't get back down - i had to rescue him the other day - he just sat on the roof meowing!

honor - we're doing our whirlwind trip to bath this weekend - i wish we had time to pop across and see you!

oh and re glasses - I needed them when i was younger and my eye sight corrected itself but its going again - long sighted, not much but enough to give me headaches. I bought a nice pair of prada frames - dh had a fit at the cost but luckily its covered on an insurance thing I have!


----------



## Honor77

Thanks, *Pooky* . And yes, DH was avec this time, and loved it .

It's so funny to listen to kitties chattering at flies and birds! Neo  used to all the time - and was our designated fly catcher . Ned  does it too. My parents had never witnessed it before though, despite having had a cat for many, many years. Chattering was clearly not the Felix 's thing.

What a shame you'll be so close by this weekend but busy... As it is, we've got a fun-packed suit-shopping day ahead tomorrow , as DH is off to Germany on Tuesday for an interview (all expenses paid ) and needs a suit. I'd be free Sunday, though, so do let me know if you do end up with a chance to nip over for some  and coffee - would be happy to meet up! DH will be stressing over interview prep and would probably welcome the chance to get rid of me for a bit!

xxx


----------



## bell26

Congrats on team pink honor !! Have you started buying pink things already ? I went crazy, my baby is like a celeb baby, she's got so many clothes she only wears things once.... The horror of being twice in an outfit makes the bottom lip stick out lol xxxx


----------



## Carey

Hiya buds

Sorry I've not posted in awhille.

Hula I'm so sorry to read ur sad news, truely heartbreaking for u both & ur families
Life is so mean & unfair.      xxxxxx

Honor Yay team pink....  how exciting   u must have brought ur first pink outfiit?? 

Bell, same here.....  oliver has so many clothes its crazy. Hope u & ur lo are ok? Xx

Pooky how r u doing? Xx

Love to eveyone else. Xxx

Best go as olive has done VERY messy naooy & DH cannot manage its everywhere!!!

Xxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you are all well and enjoyed your weekend . It's so quiet on here still, really hope everyone's ok...

*Bell*: Thanks .

*Carey*: And thanks to you too !

*Pooky*: Hope you had a good weekend in Bath! You certainly picked a good weekend for it !

*Curly*: Are you there?! Long time no hear, hope all's well with you ?

*Maisie*: How are you? You must be getting closer to moving into your new home now? Very exciting ! I hope work isn't being too much of a stress and that maisiemoo  is doing well.

*Lynn*: Missing you on the thread too .

Special  for all my lovely Buds in need. It seems like we're well overdue some good news - here's hoping for another spurt of good news soon .

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Good news honor, a litte girl. How sweet xxxxx

[email protected] house  . Still no date for exchange, solicitor on holiday last week so I'm hoping it's imminent. There's nothing left to do other than a quote for buildings insurance. All so slow!

Mini mais due back at vets for another check up.. I don't seem to have any time..  

Hula, kat, squirrel, Karen -  

Hi to everyone else.

Re meet up - due to not much interest plus I'm gonna be mental, perhaps we should postpone. X


----------



## Big hat

Hi ladies,

So sorry for absence.  Believe me, you have all been in my thoughts a lot - but now is not the time to ramble on about me.

Hula - my heart truly goes out to you, and try as I might I can find no words to ease your pain or give you comfort.  I'm afraid I can only offer a hug that is full of all the strength and compassion I possess for you.  

Pooky - my heart was also in my mouth reading your scare - you will need a medal when the time comes (or a rather nice platinum jigsaw ring for Georg Jensen - 1 piece for each babe and a 3rd for you)  

Honor - team pink - way to go lady!

Squirrel - I'll pm you in the morning  . x

Hi to all you other lovelies.  I'll write more tomorrow (and when I've had a chance to read back a few pages and catch up on where you are all at).

hugs all

Curly
xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hello curlyone! Nice to see you, it's been a while. I hope all is ok with you. Have you had any joy on the work front yet?  I'm liking your jewellery idea - cant see dh going for it though, not with the amount of shopping I did yesterday and still have to do! 

Love and hugs to you all xxxx


----------



## Big hat

Hiya Pooky - well, if you see any pictures of it in magazines, casually leave them open on that page - subliminal advertising.....!

I start a contract tomorrow, it's for a month, and a bit of a media industry event - pressure's on, and I think I am going to have to get up at 6!!!! Do you know how long it is since I saw that time of a morning  ! oh, and I've got an interview next week, which means cribbing on the train to get myself back up to date.  I've dusted off my work clothes and am just going for a haircut.  The dog is booked in for a couple of days away and I'm desperately trying to sort daycare for him (must admit, I can hear him squeaking a toy in his bed and I feel a bit sad leaving him,  but staying at home isn't bringing in the pennies).

Ladies, sorry for my absence - I'm afraid churning out applications and cover letters, where your whole day is focussed thinking about yourself - what you've done, can do, experience you've had and what you can offer the role - started to leave me with a flat battery and washed out at the end of the day.  I just did not have the energy to have to think about myself any more. Hopefully, this contract is going to wake up my braincells and I can be productive once more  .

Sending you all enormous hugs.

love

Curly
xx


----------



## rachel1972

good luck with the new job Curly remember you are always productive even if your not earning pennies xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well .

*Curly*: Welcome back ! Thanks for your PMs, and  for your new job starting tomorrow!!

*Pooky*: So you had fun shopping in Bath ?!

*rachel*: . Hope you're ok ?

*AFM*: DH is on his way back to the UK as I type - looks like flight delayed a bit so hopefully he won't be too late getting home. I'm looking forward to hearing how it went. Fingers crossed it went well and they'll make a GOOD decision soon .

 for all,

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - congrats on your pink bump.

Curly - even bigger congrats for you new contract. Lets hope lots more good stuff follows.

Pooky - we have blue tits too and a camera to watch them ....... that would drive archie crazy sat watching them on tv all day.

   for the buds that hurt and   for the lucky buds that don't.


----------



## Big hat

Typical, typical, typical! I have just had a phone call to say they project is being postponed indefinitely - I must admit, I did wonder at some of their deadlines - not yet sent invites to media bigwigs for an event 4 weeks away? Oh well, I've been scalped, and dusted down all of my work clothes, (and turned down an agency job this morning - best I look him up), and had started making preparations for dog day care - there was me just giving him a little cuddle cos I was going to miss him, and about to press 'buy' on the rail ticket site.....

Ladies, the irony is actually making me laugh and snort - just wish me luck for next week's interview.

Rachel - yes, you're right, I can be productive without pennies, as choice prevents otherwise .

Honor - here's hoping your DH is going to buck the trend and change all our luck!

Kat - I need a pithy one-liner from you or, *Karen* - one of your inspirational and motivational sayings please.

Poor DH, he was swooning about new cars last night - best I get the pedal fixed on his push bike 

Hugs all

Curly
xxxx

Looks like I'm going to have plenty of time to post drivel on here for you all to read for a bit longer  .


----------



## Nordickat

[email protected], Sh*t, [email protected], [email protected] is about all I can offer right now I´m afraid Curly.


I´m not sure how I feel about the fact you ask me for a pithy one liner and ask Karen for the inspirational pep talk   


Seriously though that sucks and I really do wish you luck for next week. And I hope too that its not too late for the agency job either


----------



## 1972

Curly - that is absoloutely F&cking [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] ness..to back up Kat . I have everything crossed for interview and hope you get sorted soon.   

Kat - good to see you missy. Lol at the statement  hope all ok with you xxxxx

honor - fingers crossed for dh good news xxxxx

I'm in a   mood. Work is so tough and I could not give a flying [email protected]@k about it right now. I've had rubbish news from solicitor that house is delayed by couple of weeks. No one seems to be doing anything to push this sale through and it's driving me  . Dh and I are fighting like cat and dog - currently not speaking. All I seem to do is work, sleep and deal with house [email protected] I'm feeling very sorry for myself, I think I've had a year now of disapointment, heartache, failure, stress and I just need something to go right   sorry for the winge ladies .... 

 to you all xxx


----------



## Nordickat

I just thought of some inspirational words for Curly and you can share them too maisie.


I wish I was a glow worm, 
a glow worms never glum.
How can you be unhappy, 
when the sun shines out your bum.


Its all right to feel sorry for yourself Mais. You deserve some wallowing time after the last 12 months. None of this is permanent remember. Feeling low, fed up, exhausted and bored is all just a temporary state and it will get better. Hang in there and things will change, and for you too Curly. Some people are just destined to have to work a lot harder than others for their reward. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you´ll get there eventually. And I´ve not given up on meeting up in London. I just need to earn some points with DH first and it seems I get points removed faster than I can accumulate them at the moment   .


 to you both, Katxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Curly - that's a big fat bummer on the job news front! I hope you can get something else sorted soon, especially now you've had your hair done and got your work clothes out of hiding!

Maisie - big fat bummer on the house front - if you need someone to cry down the phone at them just get me on the line. I have no control over my hormones at the moment..... Don't worry about you and dh - house buying results in arguements. Its such a stressful thing to do - we moved the week before our wedding and it nearly all went wrong and I was panicking that it would and wondering what we'd do as we'd based the gift list around what we wanted for the house! I hope maisie cat is ok.

Kat - i think we should get a camera for ours next year. I'll suggest it to dh. I've got a fish tank app that I put on the i-pad and the cats go mad for it. Both cats sit up our bedroom window and watch the birds fly in - it's so funny to watch them. How are your bees at the moment? i love that glow worm rhyme - it makes me smile  

Honor - we had a whirlwind trip to bath. Arrived 4.30pm and sat in the sun   eating and then they all got drunk and we played trivial pursuit. Had a nice lie in the next morning and then went round dh's uncles house for lunch and didn't get home till about 7pm. The traffic was ok too so didn't get stuck on M25 which was nice! his uncle looks a bit like a bigger version of John Major!

Squirrel, Karen and everyone else hello - hope you ok.

AFM - only 11 days left at work. I can't wait to finish, so much to do on the house and no time to do it. We're off to devon for the jubilee week and i'm looking forward to getting away from everything - it would be nice if we could come back to find the house sorted...... i did want it all done by the time we go away but it's not looking likely at the moment. I'm having more issues with the hospital and have spent most the day in the biggest hormonal rage yet. Last week I was told that I needed two weekly scans as they are concerned about the girls growth so I called up today to find out when my appointment will be and I was told that I wouldn't get one as they have no spare appointments and that as I have twins it would be even harder for them to fit me in! I explained why the consultant had requested the scan and the woman might as well have said tough titties you ain't getting one! I'm trying to get hold of the consultants secretary to get them to sort it out for me and will try again tomorrow, but at the moment I have a follow up appointment next thursday to discuss the growth scan that i'm not getting. Am making dh go to the appointment with me cos i know i'll just start crying about it all as it's so stressful! I just can't believe how crap their system is and how rude the woman is on the booking in desk! I am also writing a complaint to the hospital and i'm just trying to get the wording right and not come across as a demented hormonal nutcase


----------



## Big hat

Ah, thank you ladies  

Kat -   .  It was meant as a compliment, honest!  Your rhyme made me laugh with a laugh of a woman who smokes 20 cigarettes a day (which I don't) - maybe my vocal chords haven't woken up yet.

Maisie - hang in there lovely.  I think the worst thing about buying a house is, the estate agents are all over you like a rash until your offer is accepted, then wants it's in to all of the legal discussions, basically, your money is in the bag so they don't need to bother with you anymore and are on to the next commission.  Hard, I know, but they are only sales people (sorry if any buds are estate agents).  Give DH a big old cuddle and get him to take you for a meal.  It will be ok.  

Pooky - btw - love the sound of your hallway - so fresh and airy sounding.  I can not believe you finish work in 11 days - it has gone so fast! I'm beginning to see a pattern with you - moving house the week before your wedding - 2 babies giving you scares - you do like to live on the edge.  Am wholeheartedly with you on the complaint letter.  Having worked a while back with that particular department of your hospital I can confirm they are shocking at administrative tasks, attending meetings. answering emails, completing returns etc.  First off, see if your consultant can sort it - and say that you may have to complain to the Chair of the Board and Chief Executive about the scan and the receptionist. I know that this is teaching granny to suck eggs but put down your patient number (so they can look at your files - you don't need to give them everything outside problematic pregnancy with twins), bullet point the questions you want answered (so they can't duck them), and put a couple of headliner grabbing lines in. An old boss taught me (we got a lot of complaint letters in our dept) ignore all of the emotion in a letter and only look for the actual question, and only answer that.

News just in on my blackberry ladies, I have another interview next week - so, that's 2 interviews.  This week's craziness may not have been entirely in vain after all.  

Time t take the dog for a walk and meet up with a friend for a tea.

Hope you all have a good day.

hugs

Curly
xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Curly*: My ranting post    to you over the out-of-order call you received yesterday re. your new contract is now to be replaced with lots of good luck and positive vibes for your TWO interviews next week! Here's hoping that fate was lending a helping hand by rubbishing the job you had lined up in favour of a much more enjoyable, lucrative job ! GOOD LUCK  ! 
I bet pooch is pleased with this unexpected turn of events!

*maisie*: Can I rant on your behalf instead:    . I'm wishing with all my might for your luck to change . I hope that I can in some way provide some reassurance that your luck _can_ and will turn . Ever since we got married really, back in 2005, it seems we have not, until very recently, had Lady Luck on our side - one thing after the other with money, moving, visas, jobs, money again, jobs again, money yet again, IF, miscarriage, money YET again, kitty being killed, all the while simply trying to settle down and have a "normal" life... This year things finally seem to have started working in our favour and I'm sure that once you do get those keys to your new home, things will be on the up for you too . We've never bought a house, but moving in itself is stressful enough, so I'm sure that the added stress of your cool new investment will be taking its toll on you both. I like *Curly's* suggestion of getting DH to take you out for dinner, or you him - either way, I'm sure some "quality time" will help you get focused and back on track . 
Thanks for your good luck wishes re. DH's job .

*Kat*: Love the poem .
Your comment on needing to earn points with DH but him deducting them faster than you can accumulate them made me chuckle (sorry!) - images of you having a star chart on your fridge . Hope you can get your points up again to exchange them for something lovely, like a trip to London to meet your *Buds* .

*Pooky*: Good to know you're currently the woman to come to in times of stress - think I may be joining you shortly .
Only 10 days to go at work after today - that's just 2 working weeks - nothing! Hope you celebrate with a lovely week in Devon . It would indeed be fab to return home to a fully transformed home; then all you need to do is put up your feet and wait for the Pookettes to make their appearance, oh, and a bit of shopping !
Sorry your hospital is being pants again . It's definitely a good idea to write a letter of complaint. I like all *Curly's* suggestions as to what to include . Hope you can get it sorted with the consultant.

*AFM*: DH got back around 9 last night, exhausted from his whirlwind trip. Sounds like he was quite pampered though, with coffees, taxis, dinners, beers, nice hotel and lunches! Surely people don't fly you out to interviews and take you out on a big group dinner with drinks, all expenses paid, if they don't mean business ?! He was very impressed with everything and everyone and is expecting to hear a decision very soon. I'm  it's a "please come and work with us", as it would be the perfect end to a nightmare 2+ years (more if you count the nasty job he was in in that hellhole in Wales) at a perfect time, AND the perfect job: a UK company providing him with work in Germany, where there's currently more of it, which will place him on another project afterwards, very possibly in the UK ()! Going back to what I was saying to *maisie*, you can probably imagine how somehow we're thinking "this really _is_ just all too good to be true..." .

Love to all ,

xxx


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## Pookychops

Curly - can i employ to do my admin? and paint my house? I spent ages on the phone to the hospital this morning and the secretary suggested putting me through to the ultrasound department again and I just said - please don't, that woman makes me cry! She sort of implied in her response that she has that effect on a lot of people...... She's going to speak to the consultant this afternoon and get back to me as what should happen next re scanning.

FIrst draft of letter is written, I just need to go through it again with my notes to put in the correct dates. I have highlighted sections for each concern that I have with questions at the end. Maybe I'll just break it up a bit more so that the questions/concerns can be easily seen.


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## Honor77

*Pooky*: Perhaps *Curly* could go round the hospital and sort them out for you ? Seriously though, it's shocking that out of the people desperate for work, the NHS deem to appropriate to employ unpleasant staff who don't care about your well-being . We could all send her "be nice to Pooky or else" letters ?! - or poisoned cheesecake ! Just enough to make her need to experience the joys of the NHS, of course...

xxx


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## Pookychops

judging by the size of the woman i would say that she has already eaten her fair share of cheesecake


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

SO quiet on here... missing you all and hoping everyone is doing ok/as well as can be expected right now .

Nothing to report this end, pretty boring weekend really...

xxx


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## rachel1972

HI honor and buds

Enjoy the peace and quiet Honor.  

Hope everyone is doing ok, whats new?

afm Dh has now been working away during the week for 3 weeks and it seems to be working out ok but still early days so future still unsure.  Still sorting out school for ds going to session at private school next week, had lots of meetings with other schools but it doesnt look to hopeful as there so many cut in sen schools our finding it hard.  Been trying to keep up my meditation, had healing yesterday which was amazing.  So think i may get round to trying to book in for treatment plan for tx so i could do it over summer as Sept will be busy for dh and ds.  Still havent decided what to do though as consultant said it was up to me if to do ivf or natural cycle with icsi.  

lots of love R xx


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## Nordickat

Hello lovely buds, 

This is my final farewell to the world of FF. You all have my email address and you probably all know who I speak to outside of FF so you'll always be able to track me down for none tx/pg/baby talk. I have got a lot of support from FF over the years and you really have helped me realise that not everyone in the world is evil and selfish, but its time to go now. I can't 'move on' or even begin to work out what that even means, when I'm surrounded by tx, pg and baby talk.

I do wish you all well though and take good care of yourselves and each other. There will always be a place in my heart for you buds.
All my love, Katxxx


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## Big hat

Kat, me lovely, hear what you're saying. What's more important is that you go get that spring back in your step and start enjoying your life.  There will always be a space on the bud forum for you, and a piece of cheesecake with your name on it.   

Rachel - was wondering how you are. Keep strong sweetie, you'll get DS settled and then can get ready for tx.  Meditation and healing sounds like a good thing - we forget how much we store up - it's good to start to pay attention to and regularly de-stress.  I'm glad things aren't too problematic with DH working away.   x

Honor - any news on DH's job front?

Pooky - paint and admin are my fortes! Hope you got your draft written and sent. xx

night night me lovelies

Curly
xx


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## 1972

Bye to kat, completely understand where you are coming from. I maybe not far behind you. You have been such a supportive bud and thank you for all your kind words and help over the last year.. Ciao for now sweetie xxxxxxxxxxxx     

Hi curly . Good luck with your interviews  . Let us know how you get on xxxxxxx


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## Pookychops

Kat - sad to see you go, but it's for the best if it helps you move on with your life. Sending you big hugs and wishing you all the best.

Curly - letter was sent last week and they responded within 24 hours as the website said - she thanked my for summarising all of my points and labelling them all clearly! I now have a scan booked for Thursday lunchtime  

not much else to report really - house painting is coming along. i was up at 7am on sat morning painting away - guilt then forced dh out   not too much more to do - hopefully he'll do most of it while i'm out on saturday and i won't have to bother too much on sunday......


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

First up, *Kat*: So, so sorry to see you go . I wish you didn't have to, but totally understand why. Definitely keep in touch via Skype and e-mail, and let me know if you're ever over in Bristol, or wherever it is we end up in the near future . Take care and all the best .

*rachel*: Glad you're getting on ok with DH working away. I hope you can fall into a happy routine soon, or that DH's assignment there is not too permanent so that he's back home permanently with you and Ethan soon .
Great that you're keeping up and benefiting from the meditation and healing . And that you're thinking ahead to tx later in the year .

*Curly*: No, no news as yet - and there won't be until next week now, as the Client Manager in Germany is apparently away til next Tuesday ! Annoying to have to wait even longer, but good we were at least "warned" about this in advance. And you? What days are your interviewS?! !!

*maisie*: How are you doing ? Hope work, house and kitty are not causing you any (too much?) stress at the moment.

*Pooky*: Good news and outcome re. response to your letter of complaint . Hope everything's looking good and on track at Thursday's scan .
Good to hear the painting's coming on well .

 to all,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi honor

I'm stressed beyond stressed. House delayed, verge of pulling out, feel like relationship with dh is broken, still a strain to get through IF issues, job so busy and mini mais still losing weight . Other than that, alls good! 

I am going a bit quiter too buds as I'm struggling with this subject right now.

Sorry for winge xxxx


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## Honor77

Don't apologise, *maisie* - that's what we're here for!

Sounds like a nightmare, no wonder you're stressed out . Hang in there, you'll pull through it, although I know it may not seem like it right now . Let me know anytime you want to Skype-whinge .

xxx


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## Gladys07

Hello my wonderful treasured buds.

Again I find myself having to apologise as I don't seem to get any time to go on a computer as when I do get 5 mins there is always other stuff that seems to need doing..basically the only thing I am not doing is sticking a broom up my [email protected]@ at the same time  plus I can't get FF on phone anymore for some strange reason which I need to look into... sorry......

I have had a read back a few pages but apologise if I have missed anything as little one has a tendency to have power naps when I want to do anything x

*Honor *- I still haven't been able to get to a printer but do want to be involved please can you email me an alternative. Congratulations on your pink news.. time will now fly by so make sure you do what ever you need to do before third trimester as you will be exhaustedd by then. But you are an uber organised person so I am sure your sorted.

*Curly* - wow work sounds like a nightmare...... but glad to hear you have still got the energy to have humour xx

*Pooky* - I see you have written a complaint letter, Have you been having issues with hospital ? How did scan go yesterday?

Rachel72 - good luck with finding a school for DSxx Keep up the meditation, sounds fab x

Kat - you have been a rock to and helped me and others hugely. I wish you all the happiness andwill email you to keep in touch. You have a great talent with words and would still love to see a book from you . xxx

Maisemoo - moving home is stressful enough without work, relationship and tx issues do whatever you need to do to boost your well being... remember you are important.

Karen, Hanna and alll buds huge hello and love xx

It has taken me an hour to write that and now being a bad mum and am typing with Stan on me ..

Stanley was 13 weeks old yesterday and it is a year ago since my ec and failed ET and frozen embies.. June 17th will be when embies were defrosted and Little Man Stan started his journey inside of me... I feel so lucky that nature and science enabled me to become a mum and wanted to thank you ladies for your friendship and support on the journey, I will always treasure your friendship and that day we met in london xx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Very quiet on here still... so sending out a massive  for those in need.

*Dee*: Lovely to hear from you ! It sounds like you're rushed off your feet, but I'm sure you're doing a fab job! We're alway here, aren't going anywhere, so it's always nice to hear from you when you do get a chance to post, but don't stress about it .
What lovely words at the end of your post - I wholeheartedly agree !
Any major plans for baby's arrival are kind of on hold until we hear next week the outcome of DH's interview last week. It does look promising  and with any luck, he will be offered the job so we can start planning the move etc. If not, I guess we'll still be in limbo land location wise, but will have to make some more long-term decisions from there. There's also the whole not-daring-to-think-that-far-ahead thing .

*Pooky*: How did you get on yesterday? I hope everything was ok with the *Pookettes* , and that the hospital didn't cause you too much stress .

*Curly*: How did the interviews go?!? I hope you felt they went well and won't be kept waiting around too long to hear the outcome .

*maisie*: I expect you're thanking Crunchie it's Friday . Seriously, though, hope you haven't had too much of a distressing week, and that you have some lovely plans for the predicted  weekend .

Lots of     to all other *Buds* too,

xxx


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## rachel1972

hi buds  

farewell Kat wishing you all the happiness in the world, take care.xx

maisie sounds like you are very stressed hope you have a relaxing weekend.

Honor and Pooky hope you are ok in the heat not too swallon.

Curly , gladys hello .

afm not got very far with ds school but have decided to go ahead with tx over summer hopefully got follow and nurse booked for the 29th june.


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## Big hat

Hi ladies,

Pooky - good news about the letter - no wriggle room means you should get some good results (I hope) - and maybe some people may get sent on training courses  

Maisie - sweetie, buying a house, particularly your first creates enough stress to test the resolve of saints let alone mortals  . On top of everything else you have been through (and are going through) this past year I think you should have a hug from us   and give yourself a hug for being such a strong and resilient person. You will get through it, honest. xx

Honor - hope you and DH are enjoying a sunny and relaxing weekend, and not focussing on what the news may be next week. x

Gladys -  no need to apologise. Your life sounds hectic, if a bit chafing  , and you just need to enjoy your time with your well deserved little man. xx

Rachel - so pleased you have got your next session booked for end of June. Somehow, having a deadline strengthens your resolve - no school will be able to put delays in your way. Go girl!!!

Can I just say, I wish that when my dog lies at my feet with his bottom directly in line with my nose, he would at least give some indication of releasing an SBD - it's so not polite or cute!

Afm: so, life really is a rollercoaster. Two interviews and three calls from an agencies to tell me they have roles they want to put me forward for - talk about all coming in at once. interviews left me drained - they are just so different, requiring some quite different skills - 1 is very 'outward projecting' on a national scale (being the last interview of the day I have a feeling they'd unpicked a couple of things over the course of the interviews that means they may need to revisit the purpose and requirements of the role), the other is subject to enormous and intense scrutiny so required a very methodical approach.  The 2nd interview was first thing in the morning - I have to say, I think I had not quite refocussed my personality setting from 'big' to 'reserved' - the first question was asked and it was like someone hit the 'play' button and I could't find the pause.  Let me just say, the flashbacks have me shaking my head to rid my mind of them, and I am blushing and laughing.  Don't somehow think I have that one.  So, next week I'm waiting to hear on 1 interview, and whether the other two roles want to interview me....

One other thing - I realise I do need to update my business dress - so many people looked fabulous and fresh, and I didn't feel that I did. There are some lovely clothes out there (and I want them!!!!)

Hi to all other lovely buds.

Enjoy this lovely weekend.

hugs

Curly
xx


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## 1972

Hi to curly. Sent you pm xxxxxxx

Hello to everyone really.   house is getting there but every day brings a different legal issue. Am starting to think our solicitiors are sh&t.. But bit late re that. 

I had a lovely day out in London sunshine yesterday which lifted the spirits a bit..

Enjoy the sunshine xxxxxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope everyone is enjoying the  this weekend!

*rachel*: I'm fine, thanks .
I expect you're also feeling a bit brighter now that you have made the decision to go ahead with treatment this summer . It's not all that long until you see the nurse! Keeping everything crossed for you for a smooth and successful cycle .

*Curly*: Wow - a woman in demand ! Sorry the interviews left you drained, but hopefully at least one of them will prove worth all the time and energy you put into them . Oh, and any excuse to go clothes shopping, eh ?! Am sure you looked fab, but why not treat yourself to some new business clothes?!

*maisie*: Great that you enjoyed a day out in the sun yesterday . What did you get up to in London then?
Glad to hear things are getting there with the house... Definitely a case of slowly but surely, but hopefully things won't drag on too much longer and you'll be able to get the keys very soon .

Love to everyone else too ,

xxx


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## rachel1972

hi buds

thanks for the encouragement.  now that i have set date dh is playing up of course.  

Curly my head is spinning reading your accounts of interviews, hope something comes good soon.

maisie hope you house gets sorted soon.  

xxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all ok .

We're having Internet problems, which is very annoying . No other news as yet - still waiting to hear re. job.

Just wanted to post a link to this thread re. an IVF petition to sign: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=288231.0

Love to all ,

xxx


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## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies

It has been a while since I have felt brave enough to post back here and sorry I have been away (hope you all remember me).

I've read back a few pages but please forgive me if I forget some of the personals!

Kat - I guess you have gone now, but I wish you all the best, and I am sure you know that you would always be welcome here. But I think you have made the right decision for you and I hope you are able to move on and find the happiness you deserve. 

Pooky - sounds like you have had some frustrations at the hospital! How are you getting on anyway, besides that?

Rachel - Hope your son is doing OK. Good luck with your next tx. That's only a month you've got to wait til your next appointment.

Maisie - can understand you wanting to go quiet as that is what I do in phases. Hope you are doing OK, though, and feeling better. And never apologies for whinging (which you weren't anyway). House-buying is a nightmare. I hope everything works out for you. Glad you enjoyed your trip to London. I love London but I sort of hate it too. Find it a bit stifling in the heat. It will forever fascinate me, though! I think I don't like it when I'm travelling to work (too busy, everyone in a bad mood) and I love it when I'm just there as a tourist doing nothing in particular.

D - nice to hear from you and so great you are doing well. Amazing that Stanley is 13 weeks already. I was pregnant same time as you, and how things have changed! Of course that pregnancy was different for me and it all seems so far away now. Like another lifetime.

Honor - hope you are OK and that you get good news about your DH's interview. 

Curly - I hope you get good news on the job front. It sounds like you are quite senior in your career. I could never do jobs like that...I do admire you. I just sit in a hole and write or edit things. I ask for a long list of stuff to write or edit and I just sit there and do it; I don't do strategy or outward projecting! Hope you get good news soon!

AFM - well, as I said, I am sorry I have been absent and hope you do not mind me popping back up again. I do actually read the forum and this thread several times a week but I have phases where I never post and just read, for various reasons. 

I don't think I have posted on this thread since our failed tx at the start of this year. We went again for another tx on my next cycle (which took longer to arrive than I thought, I guess because of the drugs). I did short protocol and we got loads more eggs - 11, although one was immature so they only injected 10. DH had SSR as well, with a different urologist, and got much better results. 

Dunno if that's just coincidental but we had a hairy moment where the clinic sent me home with all my drugs and then we weren't sure if they would be able to find a urologist because the original guy was on holiday or on study leave or something! Anyway, this new urologist was really nice. I think my husband preferred him. He took the time to talk to me and my sister when DH was in recovery and I was waiting for my EC, and the other guy never did that (he did not even talk to DH after...he just disappeared!).

Anyway. I had 2 embryos put back. They were a 5-cell and a 7-cell. I've never had that number of cells before (this was a 2-day transfer) and I was worried they were a bit quick! We also had 3 that we left to see if they could go to blast. One did and we froze it.

I was pretty sure during the 2ww that I was going to be pregnant because I felt so very different to during the unsuccessful cycle. I had a stong feeling I would get a BFP and I did. But I was so nervous about the early scan because of what had happened to me before.

I had the early scan last Monday (21st) and it was all fine. Then yesterday I had a bit of brown spotting, so was really worried. I called the clinic. They said it was probably nothing to worry about but I find it impossible not to worry so I went to the Early Pregnancy Unit today. I had an abdominal ultrasound - bit of a surprise as I was starting to strip off and was told "no need!". Everything was fine...I couldn't believe it, and the baby looked like a little butterbean. I got to hear the heartbeat too! The sonographer said she could see limb buds forming and the spinal something (I have forgotten already, it was such a whirl), but everything was fine so I am SO relieved.

I won't be discharged from the IVF clinic (which has been fab) until a second viability scan. This is next Wednesday and fingers crossed all will be OK. It's a bit weird because I don't feel sick or anything, just have gone off tea and peppermint tea and natural yoghurt and that is about it. Oh, and sometimes I get a bit bloated in the evenings.

I am 8w2d today, although the sonographer dated the pregnancy at 8w3d, not sure why. Booked in with the midwife and everything, and the sonographer booked my 12-week scan today as well. Really hope this is our time. So excited and scared (does the worry stop ever?). Due date is January 7 according to the clinic, or January 6 according to today's scan. Either way it'll make for a very interesting Christmas!

Sorry for waffling on x


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## Honor77

That's fantastic news, mrs_ixy!!! I'm sure everything will be absolutely fine this time, but, no, you won't be able to but worry throughout! Brown spotting is very common and nothing to worry about, but I hope you don't get any more so as not to add to your worry. Also don't worry about dates, you'll be given an EDD at your 12-week scan and that again could well be different. I was dated 4 days ahead of my dates. As long as baby is growing steadily and healthily... 
Congratulations again!
xxx


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## rachel1972

nice one mrs ixy enjoy it worry is always optional xx


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## ma-me28

congrats mrs ixy thats great news.x
kat you will be missed on here.x 
rachel good news you have set a date for treatment. x
honor fab news on your team pink how exciting. x

big hugs to everyone else
afm had our review appointment last week and the consultant basically just said to keep going he cant see any reason why ivf wouldnt work for us and to take a year out as we save up, and in the meantime they are going to check my tubes arent blocked and if not my consultant will put me on clomid so we can try naturally for 6-9months. so for now im just going to try and relax a bit and keep myself busy.x


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations mrs_ixy! I hope everything goes ok with you. I had lots of brown spotting and bleeding at the start of my pregnancy (weeks 9-13) - it's more common with ivf pregnancies and doesn't always mean that something is going wrong. If you're worried just go to the EPU and get checked out - that's what I did several times, although it only stops you worrying for a day or so and then it sets back in again.

ma-me - that's good news that there is no reason as to why it's not working - just extremly frustrating that its not. hopefully the clomid will work and you won't have to go through the horrible ivf again. If I make it up to Yarmouth before babies arrive i'll drop you a note - I would love to meet up with you at some point but we are a bit behind on the house at the moment and I don't know if I'll get the time before d-day! I hope it warms up there for you and the easterly breeze isn't too cold!

Curly - how goes the job hunting?

Maisie - hope you get to exchange sometime soon! It must be so frustrating! I also hope you had DH get to have some quality time together and get back on track - house buying is such a stressful business!

Honor - you must be going mad waiting to hear on dh's job interview. Patience is not one of my virtues and I'm being impatient for you! I hope your little bubba is growing well.

hello to everyone else - hope you are well and ready for the jubilee weekend  

It's my last day at work today - I'm so glad to be stopping the commuting as it's all got a bit much and I can't believe that I have to ask people for seats when i get on the underground! We're off to Devon for a week tomorrow and then back to finish decorating the house and hopefully get everything ready for when the babies arrive. Fingers crossed that they will stay in until 37 weeks!

I had some sad news yesterday in that my step-sister had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. she's having a bit of a nightmare with it all and is in hospital and waiting to find out if she has to have an op to clear out the rest of the remains as she only had  a partial miscarriage. So she's having a bit of a nightmare and described it as an emotional rollercoaster. She'll be ok though given time.


----------



## bell26

Mrs Ixy what fabulous news, I am so so so pleased for you, especially after losing your twins it's about time some luck came your way. Really really super excited for you, please try to enjoy your pregnancy, easier said than done I know.

Miracles do happen ! I just hope one day all of our buds will have mini buds, that would be a fantastic end to our journey.

Much love to you all, I'm still reading, sympathising, celebrating and praying for you all on your various stages.... Please try to keep hope in your heart those of you still in limbo xxx big cuddles to you xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

Well. Weve still not exchanged and my planned week off is cancelled next week as we now aren't completing until week after next!!!!!!!!!!!!!     I'm so angry and frustrated. The whole issue has been with land and vendor chain and I've been hassled and hassled to chase my solicitors and speed things up then the bloody vendors solicitor announces today they aren't ready .. I'm just so peed off as we wanted to do as much work pre moving in as possible and time is ticking away. dH won't be able to take time off in term time so I'll have to do all bloody diy!!!!!! Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anyway... 

Pooky - enjoy maternity leave  

Mrs ixy - fab news !!  

Hi to everyone else. Xxxxxxxx


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## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies,

Thanks for your replies 

ma-me, will you have an HSG? I had one of those. It was a bit painful but I would do it again if I had to (although the problem turned out to be a male factor one in the end). I'm sure you will get lucky eventually. My old boss (male!) said to me when I told him about tx, "take all the time you need, it might take longer than you think but you will get there"...

Pooky - I do remember reading about you having spotting etc. Can't believe it is your last day at work already! Do you have a long tube journey? The rudeness of some people never ceases to amaze me. My boss said she was pregnant with twins and would often have to ask people on the Tube for a seat. WTF! I work in London too (Holborn) but I walk from Waterloo and luckily I always get a seat on the train cos I live in the sticks!

Bell - lovely to hear from you - am trying to enjoy it but I worry a lot! I do feel very lucky and am trying to believe that it will work this time. I think you give hope to all of us.

Maisie - oh gosh that's frustrating. We've done 2 house purchases so far (by that I don't mean we have 2 houses, as we sold the first to buy the second!) and it is soo stressful. I am sure you will get there in the end and eventually you won't remember this part so much!

Honor - hope you are OK...by the way I forgot to say, congrats on team pink!

AFM - I think I've eaten too many Maltesers and have become super-paranoid about what is and isn't safe to eat! At least I know Maltesers are!

xx


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## ma-me28

maisie i hope you get the house sorted soon i can imagine how frustrated you are.x
pooky enjoy your maternity leave and yes it will be lovely to meet up one day. x and we have had some sun but i spent it indoors making improvements to the house lol.x
mrs ixy maltesers are a good choice lol and yes will be having hsg our issues are male related but my husbands last count and motility were normal just high level of asa but dr wasnt saying it was impossible which is why he suggested clomid. 
hi to everyone else hope you have a lovely friday and long weekend.


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*ma-me*: It must be quite frustrating to have been told to just "keep going", but reassuring to know there's no reason why IVF won't work for you. It's great that you have a plan in place while you save up for your next cycle, hopefully everything will be looking good with your tubes and you can then give Clomid a go - you never know, it may prove the answer to your prayers ! And yes, ASA as an obstacle _can_ be overcome  - my DH has them (as well as low count and poor morphology).

*Pooky*: So, how does it feel to be a lady of leisure ?! The commute sounds like a nightmare - can't believe how inconsiderate people can be . 
Hope you have a lovely week in Devon, and that you do get _some_ !
Sorry to hear about your step-sister, she must be devastated .
Still no news... annoying... Hopefully we'll hear soon though. 
I too hope baby is growing well - wish I could have a peek inside !

*maisie*: How rubbish . I'm not surprised you're angry and frustrated. You'll get there . *mrs_ixy's* right, it may be a total nightmare right now but a few months down the line and you'll be in your new home and all the current hassle will seem a million years away .

*mrs_ixy*: I'm fine, thanks . I wouldn't worry about the Maltesers! I totally went off chocolate and cake during the 1st trimester, but am now back to fighting a ridiculously sweet tooth .

I have to admit, working for myself, I'm not 100% sure of the bank holiday dates this weekend! Is it just Monday ? As I took the German bank holiday off last Monday, I'll probably just work the UK one... Anyone got any nice plans for the long weekend?

Happy Friday and love to all ,
xxx


----------



## 1972

It's Monday and Tuesday honor.  

And we've finally exchanged !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Honor77

Yay for *maisie's* new house   !

Does that mean all your plans are still messed up re. time off work?

Either way, I'm sure that this fabulous news has given you a real boost .

xxx


----------



## 1972

Was off this week honor which I've now cancelled as don't get keys until 11th June..l.

The novelty ore if a long time ago, so honestly - I'm not excited at all ...   hopefully hen in...

Hopy bank holiday weekend all xxxxx


----------



## Big hat

So 3 x 'hip, hip, hoorays' are needed!!

Maisie - hip, hip, hooray for your house exchange   This is the first of many good things to come your way  

Pooky - hip, hip, hooray lady of leisure  . The final countdown has begun  . x

Mrs_Ixy - hip, hip, hooray pg lady   

Honor - fingers-crossed for good news for you and DH next week. xxx

Bell - glad all is well in your world. xxx

Rachel - thank you.  Hope things are going well in your world - all will soon be well I'm sure    xxx

Afm: 1 rejection, 1 job on hold, 1 don't think so, 1 new interview next Monday!!! Also, TSH just keeps rising   12 months ago we managed to get it below 2.0, 3 mths ago it was 4.88 so they increased my thyroxine and it has gone up to 6.57 () so I have to stay on the same dose for another month and they are going to check again - seems like I am going to end up on tablets the size of dinner plates to sort this one out  .

Hi to any other buds having a look in.

For those in Britain, enjoy the bank holiday weekend and jubileebrations.

hugs all

Curly
xxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi guys. Sorry to put a dampener on. Just got a bfn after another attempt with good embryos. My heart is broken. I dont think it will fix this time. Maybe i should get the message about this. Everyone else who tries donor eggs manages success within this amount of time. There is nothing left to say. I wish you all the very best and thank you for being there for me. I wont ever forget you.


----------



## ma-me28

squirrel im so sorry hun


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Firstly for *squirrel*:         . I know that no amount of hugs or words of encouragement of positivity are going to cut it right now when you must be hurting so much . As ever, I could rant, rave and scream on your behalf . You know where I am if you need me .

*ma-me*: 

*Curly*: Wow - you've been such a busy bee with all your interviews. 
How come 1 of the jobs is on hold? 
 for your interview next Monday!
How annoying about your TSH... I have thyroid issues and always get confused with levels falling and rising... Are you over or underactive? Hope it comes down to where it should be within the next month.

*maisie*: Yes, you must be physically and mentally exhausted after all the house hassle you've had, but hopefully will think it all more than worth it and get back some of that excitement about buying your new home once you have the keys in your hands .

*AFM*: Well, we weren't expecting any job news today, but we hadn't thought someone might contact DH from the Spanish office, which they did! And... it's good news! He has the job! After all this time and all the setbacks he's had, we are a little hesitant to get too excited until he's spoken to the UK office on Wednesday and heard it from them and discussed the details (is a UK company so contracts etc. through them). Am so pleased for DH, as I know it hasn't been easy for him these past couple of years, and he was so keen on this company and job. 
I'm not even overly panicky about moving abroad now - can see and am focusing on the positives  - just worried about what will happen with the  . Anyone have any experience of or know anything about transporting kitties abroad? We have pas d'argent and no transport of our own, which makes transporting him harder. I had thought my parents might take him for us, and they were considering it, but last time I saw my mum, she didn't seem keen anymore. Hate the thought of having to find him a new, unknown family and really want to be able to take him with us, so any advice/ideas much appreciated!

Love to all and special  for those in need,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel - so sorry. I had hoped that after last time that the next go would be your time. Sending you huge         and thinking of you!

Honor - that's fab news re job   you will need to ask the vets about taking him abroad. He will need some jabs and a passport but I don't know much else apart from that. I know that my friend flew his cats to Singapore and it cost him a small fortune - I would have thought that Germany would be a bit different though. Where abouts will you be moving to?

Curly - what dose of thyroxine you on? I'm now on 175 mg a day and that seems an awfully high dose. Be careful if you're taking multivitamins with iron in as iron can bind to thyroxine and stop it working and you should have a four hour gap between taking thyroxine and iron.

Maisie - fab news re house. How come you missed Coldplay? Or is that something i shouldn't ask? 

Take care everyone   I don't post much but I'm thinking of you all.


----------



## rachel1972

Squirrel - your a wonderful person I wish you all the very best.  xxx

Honor great news about the job your dh must be relived he can take care of his family xxx

sounds like a lot of people are in a transition at the moment! which can be hard but always to be embraced if possible.  good luck to one and all.

Love and light R xxx


----------



## bell26

Squirrel I am so so sorry sweetheart.... Be kind to yourself and please never lose hope xxx


----------



## 1972

Oh squirrel      so sorry sweetie. I've sent you an email. Thinking of you xxxxxxx

Honor - fab news re job for dh!  

Pooky - sounds like you are having a fab break   Coldplay - gutted now we didn't go but dh tired after long day at work and I'd been for lunch with 2 friends who keep letting me down and they did it yet again.. I was quite angry and upset - so mixture of both of us meant we weren't really feeling it.. 

Curly - I hope something materialises soon re job and the delay is due to a fab one waiting in the wings  

Afm - busy sorting house stuff, trying to locate wood floor, buying paint, wallpaper etc etc. get keys Monday and have 6 days to get going. Current house is rented and already on rightmove so hopefully get someone in ASAP ..hope you are all enjoying this wet bank holiday x


----------



## Big hat

Squirrel, my lovely, my heart goes out to you absolutely.  . Please don't be too hard on yourself.  You can not help the situation you are in  or why it didn't work this time. xx

Rachel, for me particularly, your words ring true.  Thank you. xxx

Maisie - I'm sure when you are in your new house your friends will come good, and you can start to fill your new home with happy memories. xx (As for my job - I have a feeling DH and I will be doing a mock interview before my next one on Monday  )

Pooky - you take it easy. Rest is absolutely what you need to do before the grand arrival. I'm on 75mcg thyroxine - other Drs and HCA's, beside my GP who has been with us through this journey, are getting involved so I think my doses and advice are all getting a bit muddled. I don't take iron but do take VitC, B complex, and evening primrose oil with VitE - maybe I do need to take iron later in the day as we have quite a history of anaemia in the family.....crumbs, I feel like I'm becoming a bit of a old banger  ...

Honor - that is such wonderful news. I'm sure you can get your cat a passport and take him with you. It feels like it is all falling into place for you, and deservedly so. xx 

Time to get ready and head for the Mall to see the final bit of the weekend out - I am looking forward to having a teetotal rest of the week - I've been battered by this weekend...

hugs all, especially Squirrel.

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds

Just a quick one to say hi to you all and hope everyone who is in the UK has been enjoying the jubilee celebrations. Its been lovely to have the extra days off. 

I have skipped back a few pages so just a few personals. 
Congratulations mrs Ixy - wonderful news! 
Kat - i think you will have gone now but i will email you. Its a tough decision but i can understand that you need to focus on other things. We will all miss you on here, you have been such a support for all of us xx
squirrel - so sorry hun but do not give up, you will get there. Hope you are ok, big hugs to you.
Honor - sounds like things are really coming together! great news. No idea about pet passports but someone i  know at work knows someone whose dog has gone to live in africa recently - i can find out more details if you like?
Ma-me - how are you? i had an hsg - it was a bit uncomfy but other than that fine. Hopefully the clomid will work for you - will they scan you each month?
Pooky - maternity leave woo hoo! Thats gone quick, whats your due date again - sorry ive forgotten!
maisie - great news on the house, have you got a moving date yet ? sorry if you have mentioned it, i have a head like a sieve!
Rachel - how are you? hows it going with dh working away?
Curly - good luck for your interview!
Bell - Hi - how are you getting on?
Hanna - are you lurking? hows everything?
Hi to everyone else xx

Thanks for all you kind messages. Im doing ok and have booked a holiday so we are off in a few weeks, cannot wait yay! Should be good to recharge the batteries escape for a bit. 
Got the results back on the chromosome analysis and the cause of the miscarriage was triploidy which means the baby had an extra set of chromosomes so had 69 instead of 46 and means that i would have either miscarried at some point during the pregnancy or would possibly have had to make a decision further down the line. In a lot of ways i think it would have been a lot harder if it happened further down the line or if i had been faced with a decision to make from a routine scan. Glad to have some answers and know that it was nothing i had done wrong but obviously it is still painful thinking about it. Still having some discussions with the consultant but hopeful that this is an isolated case and that everything will be ok if we try another cycle or FET. Will keep you posted.

I cant get my head round that its tuesday! im in total sunday mode, especially as the queen was at church this morning. Nice to have a short week at work tho 

chat soon, love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi hula - good to hear from you! The holiday will do you good - just go along and relax and enjoy. It's good that you have an explanation as to what went wrong. I know it doesn't make it any easier but I always find that having a reason helps understand why and not knowing why is one of the worst things about infertility.

I've got about 5 weeks left. I'll know more in a couple of weeks when I go for 34 week check up. I still can't quite believe that it's happening!

Curly - how was the mall? You're very brave heading down there. I watched a lot of the celebrations on tv and was so glad I wasnt there and having to plan loo trips! If you are going to take iron, try spatone, it's a liquid form of iron and is a lot nicer on your tum than iron supplements! 

Squirrel - hugs to you


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies

Yuck, what happened to the weather?!

Lil one - it's great you have such an understanding GP. Sounds like things are starting to happen for you! I'm just superstitious about injections - the consultant told me it'd make no difference but was happy to do it to keep me quiet, I think! I think you are right - and one thing one of the nurses said to me is true...if your embryo is gonna stick then it's gonna stick, basically!

Selk and elpis - congratulations to you both, I am so pleased for you!

Bramble - totally understand your decision and there is no point doing another cycle if it does not feel right. I know exactly how you feel, and had already said to DH that if this cycle failed I could not even think about tx until next year at least. At the moment I do not feel I could do another fresh cycle. Hopefully this one will work out (everything is crossed!), and I think we will probably use the frozen one we have, but the emotional and physical toll, as you said, is just so hard, so I really doubt I would do another. Before we did IVF I thought a lot about the injections, and they were actually fine - it was all the other stuff that was so difficult! Anyway, thinking of you, and good luck x

Sweety - hope you get to start soon!

AFM - I was discharged from the WN yesterday after another scan. Saw the heartbeat and the embryo looked a bit like a baby (you could see the head, and the beginnings of arms and legs). It measured 24.3mm, which they said was fine for my stage (I was 9 weeks 2 days yesterday). It still all feels a bit weird, to be honest. Seeing the midwife next Fri, so perhaps it might feel a bit more real then!


----------



## Twinklie

Hello darling buds

Long time no write, I know…   I have been reading fairly regularly but been very lazy when it comes to writing. Seems like the thread is pretty quiet right now, so thought I’d chip in a bit.

Mrs_ixy – Many congratulations!    It probably won’t feel completely real until you take your baby home from the hospital, but every step on the journey helps a little. This is your time!


Pooky – not long to go for you now! I guess with twins you won’t have to wait around like me. I've found it pretty hard to relax and not think about work, so it's definitely a good idea to have plenty of time to unwind before the big event.


Hula – so sorry to hear about what happened.     I agree with Pooky, it always helps to know why something happened. It’s just so frustrating not knowing. Enjoy your holiday, you’ve deserved it!   

Kat – In case you're reading - thanks for all your wonderful advice and support. I hope you find all the happiness you so deserve.     

Honor – Great news about the job!   I’m sure you can get a passport for your cat, you should definitely take him with you.

Maisie – Congratulations on getting the house sorted! I know house-buying is a pain, we bought one a while back and just moved in a couple of weeks ago. Lots of renovation work and poor DP is having to do it all himself now…

Squirrel – I’m so so sorry honey. Sending you many hugs…

Hi Curly, Ma-me, Rachel, Bell, Dee, Carey, Hanna and everyone else – hope you’re enjoying summer!

AFM – well, as you can see from my ticker baby was due yesterday. I’ve been off work a couple of weeks and spent lots of time cooking and baking (very unlike me) until Monday when I got a problem with my left hip and now can’t really walk. So now would be a good time to show up, little man! It’s all very exciting and we’re a bit disappointed every morning when we wake up and nothing's happened. Hope it will kick off within the next week. They might let me go 3 more weeks before they induce me – do not want that!

Love to you all


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you are all ok and looking forward to the weekend .

*Pooky*: I PMed you earlier but forgot to respond to your post on here .
We're still waiting for concrete confirmation on DH's job, but it does look very promising indeed . Just hope they hurry up with it so that we can make plans, as we don't have such a huge timeframe within which we can move "in my condition"!
I already know all about Rabies injections and pet passports, just have no idea how to actually transport him! I sent off for some quotes from pet courier services but so far only 1 has come back to me - at £495 !! I don't think so... I'm now looking into him flying with us, which looks much more affordable and *could* be feasible (). The job is in Ingolstadt, so not too far from Munich.

*rachel*: Yes, it is a HUGE relief if DH really does have this job (confirmation pending). It's been a very long time coming (over 2 years!), so we're desperate to know for sure so that we can celebrate, plan and look forward .
How are things with you? Have you had any meditation sessions recently? When exactly do you start your next cycle? Must be soon?

*bell*: . Hope you and your little family are well .

*maisie*: How are you ? Are you looking forward to getting the keys to your new home on Monday?! I hope you're enjoying getting everything ready for your move and the house. I expect you have a very busy weekend ahead! Good luck with everything !

*Curly*: And how are you ? All set for your interview on Monday ?
Did you enjoy the Jubliee celebrations live then?! I HATE crowds (probably because of being small ) so was much happier watching bits and pieces of it on TV from the comfort of the sofa . It looked like a fab atmosphere though!

*Hula*: Good to hear from you ! Glad you enjoyed the long weekend and have a holiday coming up to look forward - definitely very much deserved . Where are you off to?
It's "good" you were able to have testing carried out to see if any cause could be found for your miscarriage. I hope it goes some way to helping you grieve and move forwards. I know it must still be incredibly sad, painful and frustrating though... I'm sure it was just one of those very unfortunate things and unlikely to happen next time round . Keep positive and believing .
Thanks for offering to ask your colleague for details re. moving pets abroad. I think I've got it covered though, and will hopefully be able to come up with a solution .

*mrs_ixy*: I think you meant to post elsewhere ?! Nevermind, it was good to get an update on how you're doing! You must have been thrilled and relieved to have seen your baby's heartbeat and him or her starting to "take shape"! 
Good luck with your midwife appointment next Friday - it's a very odd feeling to be seeing a midwife, I spent the entire appointment feeling like a fake and thinking "I'm just wasting your time..." .

*Twinklie*: Lovely to hear from you too !
How is your new house coming on? How lovely that you were able to move before baby makes his appearance. I hope he won't be too much longer in coming  and look forward to hearing news of his safe arrival! All the best for the birth .

Love and hugs to all ,

xxx


----------



## Carey

Hi Buds.

Not been on here for a while and have missed lots of post. Ive scanned through the pages ive missed & caught up a little bit  

mrs ixy - Big Congats to you hun, so peased for you. Not long till your 12 wk scan? How are you feeling? xx

Twinklie - Any sign of baby yet? hope he arrives soon, bet you cant wait for cuddles xx

Kat - Your gone now but wanted to say Bye & wish you lots of love & luck & thank you for all you lovely posts xx

Ma-me - Glad your f/up went well & hopefully the clomid will work   but in the mean time enjoy your year out xx

Maisie - Did you pick your keys to your new home up today? hope it all went well & u are ok? xx

Pooky - How are you? xx

Honor - Hows things going for you? Hope all is well? xx

Rachel - Hiya, hope you are ok? xx

Bell - hope your well? xx

Dee - How are you & Stanley? I know what you mean about not having not much time to do anything   xx

Hula - Sounds as though you have had some answers to your mc, hope you are ok hun? xx

Squirrel - Hun im so sorry, hugs to u   xx

Curly - How are you? xx

A big hello to anybody i have missed xxx

AFM: Oliver is 15 wks old today, he is such a little monkey. Always smiling & has now started to laugh too   He is still tiny for his age but is catching up slowly. We got a letter at the weekend from Bourn Hall as the year is up & we need to pay for our 2 frozen eggs to be stored for another year. We hope at some point in the following year to give a fet ago, as would love to give Oliver a brother or a sister.

so hubby is now home form work & has taken ove the tv...... football. He has sat Oliver on his lap & i should think that were the pair of them will say for the rest of the evening. Who is watching the England game tonight? Lets hope we win  

Love to you all xxxxxxxx
Love to you all


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days - I've had a bit of a nightmare time with a job I was working on so have been very busy and a bit stressed out over that . I've returned it now though and am going to enjoy a much-needed day off today .

I have though been checking in regularly but it's been very quiet again... Missing you all and hoping everyone is doing ok .

*Carey*: Lovely to hear from you! Sounds like you may find yourself with some time on your hands over the next few weeks while DH and Oliver enjoy the football . Has DH already signed him up to support a team?!
Great to hear that Oliver is doing well . I'm sure he'll soon catch up with his size for his age, as long as he's otherwise happy nad healthy, which it sounds like he is .
So, have you decided to pay for another year's storage for your frosties? I hope you'll be able to use them when you're ready to and that they result in a little brother or sister for Oliver.
I'm fine, thanks. Had a midwife appointment yesterday and everything seems to be going well.

*Hanna*: Long time no hear! Are you still there and lurking ?! I hope you're settling in well to your new life in Finland, and that DH has now joined you .

*Karen*: You've been very quiet too recently. Hope you're doing ok .

*Squirrel* and *Lynn*: Missing you both too, but understand it's not all that easy for you to post right now . I hope though that you're lurking and will be back again soon.

*Curly*: What news of your interview ? I hope it went well, and/or that you've had some good job news otherwise.
By the way: thanks for contacting Lou - she said she'd heard from you and I'm sure very much appreciated your advice .

*Twinklie*: Are you officially a mama yet ?! Looking forward to hearing the news of of your new arrival .

*maisie*: Did you get the keys to your new home this week ? I hope so! And if so, how are you feeling about it now that you have them? I expect you're rushed off your feet trying to sort out everything. Is it next week you're off work? I know you'll still have a hectic, probably at times stressful, week, but hope it's a nicer, more enjoyable type of hectic and stress than a bog-standard week at work!

*Rachel*: Hope you're well and are all set for your cycle this month . 
Any progress on your school choices for Ethan?

*Pooky*: Hope you're not too uncomfortable and/or stressed out with your final decorating and preparations! Exciting !

 to anyone I've missed out.

*AFM*: Well, I had a lovely day shopping Saturday but have worked long hours every day since so have been exhausted . I'm therefore very excited about my day off today ! No plans as such, but we'll probably go out and about somewhere... We have the cinema this evening so I'm looking forward to that .
DH job update: It still looks like everything is going ahead, but we're still waiting on concrete confirmation and dates .
Ned  update: I've found out that we can take him on the plane (Lufthansa) with us for EUR 50, in the cat carrier he has, provided Neddy + carrier weigh no more than 8kg, that we tell them in advance he'll be travelling with us and that he has had his Rabies injection and got his passport. He's therefore booked in for his injection + passport tomorrow afternoon. Once that's done, it'll be a matter of booking our flights and working out how to get him to Heathrow...  So relieved it looks like he _can_ come with us.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hello ladies,

Hula - good to hear you have some answers, and that you have some hope for the future. xxx

Pooky - Hey mrs, only 4 weeks to go till you meet your little darlings   !!!! Hoping it goes quickly and that you are not too uncomfortable. The Mall was hell, and we only got to St James's Palace - our poocho handled it all well and even made a friend - some child was giving her parents a very hard time about a toy she wanted, then she spotted our dog and decided he needed lots of cuddles and stroking and peace descended upon us   Oh, then she told her parents she wanted a dog so we made a hasty entrance  ...

Twinklie - I hope your little boy has made his appearance by now. xx

Honor - Fab news that you can take Ned with you.  Having got our dog from rescue (and dealt with all his illnesses and anxieties as a result of that time) I couldn't part with him. As above - the crowds were hectic.  Someone went under a tube and more chaos ensued (not much sympathy though I have to say).......

Carey - lovely that all is going well with you and Oliver, and that you have some chance for a sibling in the future. xx

Hi to all other lovely buds. xx

Afm - have finally got a job, and start on Monday. I remembered to stay focussed, and even went out and had a few drinks the night before (rather than sit in stressing).  I have a feeling it is going to be a case of going into a dragon's lair unarmed, but you know, it will be so good to not have to do the daily grind of job searching..... Anyway, time to take el poocho for one of our last weekday walks before he goes into daycare.......

hugs all

Curly
xxx


----------



## rachel1972

congrats to curly all the best with monday

honor good to hear ned will be with you.


afm my life is still a complete mess school situation will have to go to tribunal.  Dh still doesnt know if he wants to stay in the job or look for something back here.  and as for tx it will be july or aug which if you were outside looking in would think crazy but i feel like i just need to keep going and come sept i will no where i am hopefully. 

lots of love.xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hey girls

Silly me, I posted the wrong post on here last time, and the post for this thread on my other thread. Oops! And I have only just noticed. Oh and I walked into town with a different shoe on each foot today as well. 

Twinklie - it is lovely to hear from you! Thanks for the words of encouragement. How are you getting on? I bet you just want your little boy out so you can meet him!

Honor - I had no idea how complicated and expensive it would be to transport a pet a relatively short distance! Mind you, 50 euros is a lot cheaper than paying someone else to do it. What movie did you see? I've not been to the cinema for ages....I like the ice cream mostly! 

Carey - sounds like you are all getting along really well. It's so lovely to hear things are going well for you. We've got one frozen embryo ourselves, and although it feels like it's a million years in the future I guess we would try a fet cycle too. I don't know if I could go through another fresh cycle though so really hope this works out for us. I do admire people who do several cycles (this is our third).

Curly - congrats on the job  Hope all goes well on Monday. 

Pooky - not long now!!!!

Rachel - poor you, I hope you get things sorted soon. I don't think you're crazy wanting to do another tx and totally understand about just feeling you need to keep going.

AFM - I have registed with the midwife (totally felt like an imposter as well Honor!), and I've got my 12 week scan on 26th June, so only a week or so. Have still not got that many symptoms, which is a bit weird, although I have had trapped wind a bit. TMI! 

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

Hope everyone is having a good weekend, despite the pants weather... 

*Curly*: Huge  on your new job! That's great news! What will you be doing exactly?  for your first day tomorrow - am sure you'll be a star ! Oh, and hope pooch won't pine for you too much!

*rachel*: Sorry to hear the school saga continues . I hope everything gets sorted in the end...
It's not at all crazy to stick to your treatment plans despite having other things going on right now .
 for good news on all counts for you by September. Hang in there... 

*mrs_ixy*: Oh dear, you're already suffering from baby brain - that doesn't bode well !
Good luck for your midwife appointment  (And don't worry if you find yourself sitting there feeling like a fake, not taking anything in .) And also for your 12-week scan: !

Love to everyone else ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi ladies thanks for the words of support honor and mrs ixy.

mrs ixy hope you enjoy every minuite of the scan.

honor hope all is well with you and bump too.

keeping the faith R xx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Curly - such fab news about the job   well done. Bet you cannot wait xxxx

Honor - sounds like your plans are all going well. Do you have a confirmed date re relocating? X

Rachel -  , sounds like you are having a mare.. Are you going to have your cycle at create? X

Mrs ixy - lol re post.. I did wonder! Baby brain kicking in early  

Pooky - I cannot believe how time has flown... 

Afm - been v stressful 6 months but got keys for house and had last week off doing DIY . I'm aching like mad, sore, feel dirty and got do much to do.. Back to work today though . 

Hi to carey, twinklie, Hanna, Lynn, squirrel, Kat, Kare, Dee  ... Sorry if I've missed anyone. It's now a year since my first BFN and can't believe how time has flown. Xxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Hope you are all ok, Just a quick one from me. 
Pooky - yes  think hols will do us the world of good, we have opted for one with things to do as well as beach and shopping so time to keep busy. I think 2 weeks on a beach and my mind would be on over drive - as nice as it would be i think i need a few things to do.
Twinklie - thanks i think it helps having some reasons for the m/c. Hope you are ok - Anything happening - any sign of bubs!? Good luck!
Honor - so glad Ned will be on his way with you. When you say travel with you - where exactly does he go on the flight? Are you excited about your move? Have you any plans at the moment? 
Carey  - its lovely to hear from you, it sounds like Oliver is doing really well. I can just imagine Oliver and his dad watching the footie together on the sofa how cute.
Curly - hows the job going? Hope its all going well, really pleased your search is over. How is pooch in day care?
Rachel - sorry that things are tough for you at the moment. Tribunal doesnt sound nice at all. Hope everything gets sorted soon. Are you still going to healing?
Mrs Ixy - ha ha on posting to the wrong thread - does sound like baby brain has started already! Good luck for your scan!
Maisie - hurrah for having the keys - thats great, hope you are enjoying the DIY! I tend to like it at the start and have great ideas but then i get bored and have too many tea breaks ha ha!

Busy day today so just a quickie - i had to cancel acupuncture as i knew it wasnt going to get out of work in time today. Still having discussions with clinic about results of m/c and am having some more tests to see whats going on, follow up in July but i cant start a FET until all the results are in. Hopefully i will have more of an idea in a few weeks time, feel like i am back in limbo land. Off on hols soon so that will be nice.

BTW - Does anyone have olympics tickets? cant believe that will be on not too far away - think travel in London will be awful - oh well wont worry about it until then!

chat soon buds, hi to everyone i havent mentioned
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*rachel*: Anytime .
Am good, thanks. DH still waiting for confirmation on training and start dates though, so bit frustrating that we don't yet know to be able to get cracking with organising the move . Hopefully he'll hear very soon !

*maisie*: Good to hear from you .
Good on you for your week of DIY . Rather you than me - I don't have the foggiest about DIY, nor the necessary patience . Keep at it - I'm sure you'll have your new home looking fab before you know it !
Hope your first couple of days back at work after your week off have gone ok .
See above re. relocation date...

*Hula*: Sorry you've got that limbo land feeling - totally sucks . Hopefully though everything will fall into place with your further discussions and tests with the clinic to give you the best possible shot with your FET . And I'm sure the time will fly, especially when you have a couple of weeks in the  to break up the wait. Sounds like a good plan to combine a beach holiday with some sightseeing/activities. Whereabouts are you going?
Because Ned + carrier = less than 8kg, he can come in the cabin with us! Sounds mad, but apparently some airlines also allow this on long-haul flights and people have done it before and kitty been ok. Am going to get him one of those pet travel calmers, which are _supposed_ to help keep him calm... I figured however he has to travel, he won't be best pleased, but at least if he's actually with us and can see/hear us throughout the journey, it might help (hopefully!).
I am excited about moving, but more so about finally being there and getting settled and sorted - not really all that excited about the long to-do list we have for the move ! As we don't yet know dates, we haven't really made a start on any plans, but hopefully will be able to very soon .

*Curly*: How did your first day go ? Hope you're settling in well .

*Twinklie* and *Pooky*: Any news ??!?!?

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## 1972

I went to morocco last year honor and a women was flying with her kitten, she was in front of me at security and had to get him out. Poor thing was petrified! But I guess you can carry on board..


----------



## Honor77

Oh God, I don't fancy having to get him out at security - wouldn't they just try to escape?!

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there everyone,
Sorry, have been very busy sorting out our new life...
Just noticed Kat's left the FF world. 
*Kat: *I do wish you (if you lurk still...) all the best and I totally understand your reasons. I hope you find the happiness in your life and everything works out well in your life. You have been such a support to us all and your humour besides all the things you have had to go through has always been there, it's been unique, dry and utterly amusing, never, EVER lose that!! You have a special place in my heart and though I haven't spent much time here, you are often in my thoughts. Take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I haven't really read many posts as it's past my bed time already but I have just seen pictures of Maisie's new FLOORS! Looks awesome! 
*Maisie*: I assume you are with me on this 'NO MORE CARPETS' amnesty. I ADORE my laminated floors throughout our flat and tiled up bathroom. It is so darn easy to keep clean and looks luxorious!
I haven't contacted hospital yet regarding tx, as was hoping it would miraculously just happen now as I am so happy, so there has been    almost too much in the last month, but yesterday the wicked  arrived, just as scheduled, so I'll be calling the hospital here after midsummers weekend. 
So needless to say, hubby DID indeed arrive here (hence the  ) but he just flew back to U.K saturday as had to sign some papers for his brother to buy him out of the house. I am so hugely suprised that that man actually did give dh the money, I thought it'd never happen!!! 
Well, now we can get on with our life and we got big plans, for our own business and stuff. Very exciting!!!!
I apologise for no personals, just very tired as very heavy af and been very busy at work... 
Just thought I give a little update 
Much love to you all!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* !

*Hanna*: Really good to hear from you! You sound very settled and happy now, which is great . I look forward to hearing all about your business plans!
Stupid, evil  . I hope you're able to contact the hospital and get the ball rolling with tx .

*AFM*: DH _finally_ got contract and dates! He's got training in the UK 2-5 July and starts in Germany 10 July. This means he'll firstly miss our next scan on 5 (unless by some miracle I can change the appointment) and secondly have to go out there on his own at first, find somewhere to live and then come back to help me move end of July. A few things to check with/ask the company today. All very scary, but I'm looking forward to cracking on with organising the move and more so to just finally being there and so to be able to start to get settled and sorted for baby's arrival. Fingers crossed everything goes to plan .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi Hanna

Glad to hear all going so well!!! Yes, we went with Oak flooring in the end. I'm really pleased with it   weve kept carpet on the stairs and the 2 bedrooms though. Maybe the fresh start is all you need to help with     give it time. Xxxx

Honor - great news re job etc. xxx this women on flights cat was tiny little kitten and he was so petrified he clung to her looking over her shoulder. I think they put the cat box through the scanner and then she walked through x ray machine with cat. It was all so bizarre as I'd never seen before!

I'm off work again today, more DIY..   FIL here to help for weekend


----------



## Honor77

Hi *maisie*,

That sounds horrendous! Now I'll be panicking that Ned will take off as soon as we open his carrier, if we also need to take him out at security . Thought they'd at least have a separate room/area for animals. We picked up his passport yesterday.

Not sure which is worse: work or DIY ! Are you actually in your new house already or still in your old one?

 and  to everyone else, especially those in need...

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi everyone,

Honor - you should read the book about Norton the cat - he goes everywhere with his owner and travels on aeroplanes all of the time! I don't think my two would like it - they would yowl the plane down! 

Maisie - glad house is going well. Piccies on ** look good!

Hanna - glad you are a lot happier now and good luck with all of your plans!

Hula - I'm glad guys are doing more investigations into what happened. They can be quite thorough once they get going and it makes sense to wait till the results are back before moving forward.

Curly - how is work going? Have you got back into the swing of things yet? 

Hello to everyone else.

AFM - I'm enjoying not going to work. I've been so busy since finishing though, today is my first day with nothing to do and so I'm still in bed  I will go swimming at lunchtime as I haven't done any exercise in ages and my back and ribs ache from the internal pressure and the boy jabbing them all the time! My mum was down this week and has cleaned the house and sorted out the nursery for us - I was glad of the help as I run out of steam far too quickly these days. My feet and legs also keep swelling up and that can be quite painful so I have to rest toward the end of the day.

I had a hospital appt yesterday and they have given me an induction date of the 17 July, but that may be brought forward a week depending on my next appointment on the 2nd July. I'm still waiting for the reality of it all to hit me.... So not long to go now.... 


This time last year I'd just failed my second fresh cycle and you were all there to support me and I can't thank you enough for that. 

Take care all

Pooky xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Pooky*,

You out of bed yet ?! Sounds like you deserve a day lounging around, or did you go to swim?

That's exciting - although I guess scary too - that you've been given a date for induction !

I have actually read the book about Norton the cat, and loved it . I somehow doubt Ned is going to be such a happy traveller though... He's pretty placid and tends not to make a fuss about getting into his carrier or being in it, but it'll be a much longer journey than walking to the vets, and involve big, loud scary places and things, so I hope he'll be ok. I guess he'll live and at the end of the day, it'll mean he gets to stay with his family, so will hopefully be worth it all round .

Take care,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

I made it to the pool and overdid it so I'm now lounging on the sofa  I'm shopping for a sofa bed and catching up on various other online jobs. I've got murder she wrote on in the background. I'm amazed I've not seen all of the episodes yet!


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hey girls

Just a quick post from me. Hope you're all good 

Hulagirl - do you work in London then? I do. They've asked us to fill in a spreadsheet saying what our travel arrangements are usually and where we'd prefer to work during the period. One manager has suggested people come in at 10 instead, but for me that would mean not getting home til after 8, which I'm not prepared to do. My boss is really good so I'm not too worried. I've asked to work from home a bit if I can. Lots of people have asked the same! I'm just an editor, so it doesn't make much difference, really. Sorry to hear you're feeling like you are in limbo. I know that feeling only too well. Hope you can get back on the rollercoaster soon. Enjoy your hols!

Maisie - we've just had an oak floor put in by my lovely brother in law, who is a carpenter. Feeling super lucky as my folks paid for the floor, and bro doesn't want any money for the work he did. It looks fab. It's engineered wood. 

Hanna - glad to hear you are enjoying life 

Honor - wow, not long now! So exciting. Are you looking forward to moving? It's great that things are moving for you guys.

Pooky - gosh, not long for you at all now. I bet you are excited. I'm going to start swimming soon. I've never really liked it but everyone tells me it's good so I'm gonna do it!

AFM - had my 12-week scan today and all was fine. It took longer than expected because the baby wasn't in the right position to do the measurements for the Down's syndrome risk assessment. I had to go away for 20 minutes and walk around! But eventually they did them and the risk came back as 1 in 2351 (against a background risk for my age of 1 in 284), so I am very pleased with that. 

STILL doesn't feel real, though! At what point will it?! Feel very lucky, really. I want it to happen to everyone on this thread!


----------



## Pookychops

Mrs-ixy - I'm now 35 weeks and still can't quite believe it. I don't think It will until they are in my arms!


----------



## mrs_ixy

Pooky - bet you can't - then you will have a whole new set of worries


----------



## Pookychops

I know.... Am starting to get a bit excited now but still cautious.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days - Mum was here until yesterday so I've been busy with her.

*Pooky*: What's the latest? Hope you've been continuing to take it easy on the sofa in front of the TV !

*mrs_ixy*: So pleased for you that your 12-week scan went well . You got your Downs Syndrome screening results quickly! Here, they'll call you within 1-2 days of the test if they come back as high risk, otherwise send you out a letter within 1-2 weeks.
I don't think it really does ever properly feel real... And I've found that whenever I do let my guard down, something happens to make me panic again, and then I end up convincing myself I can't possibly be pregnant, it's all in my head... 

*maisie*: How's the new house coming on? I hope you feel like you're making good progress and are happy with the result of all your hard work so far . Would love to see some pics (because I'm so nosey ), but am not on ** anymore...

*Curly*: I hope you've been so quiet of late due to having started your new job and getting to grips with it and that everything is otherwise ok with you ? How's pooch coping now his mama is back at work?

*Hanna*: Have you spoken to the hospital? What's the plan?

*Hula*: Any more news re. test results?

*Twinklie*: Has your little man made his appearance yet ?

*Bell*, *Dee* and *Carey*: Hope you and your little ones are all keeping well .

*squirrel*, *Karen*, *Lynn* and *ma-me*: As ever, extra    for you all. Missing you all and hope you are getting there...

Sorry if I've missed anyone .

*AFM*: Had a lovely long weekend with Mum . Also saw my brother and his girlfriend Sunday, which was nice .
The house is now full of empty boxes and things are gradually being ticked off on my to-do list. However, we have a long way to go until we're fully sorted, such a lot to do and co-ordinate and I anticipate many arguments with DH, trying to get his usual laid-back, leave-it-to-the-last-minute self to get a move on with packing while he's still at home to do it . So, in a bit of a too-much-to-do stress, as well as having a wobble again about moving to Germany .

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hello. 

I should have a good idea as to what is going on with me on Monday. I finally saw a doctor who seemed to know what they were talking about on my last visit. Not long now. I've recently made friends with another twin mum to be - she's in hospital being induced at the moment. Hers were natural twins and I've talked to her about ivf and she says she's in awe of anyone who can go through the whole process. She is so  laid back about the whole pregnancy thing and I'm a bit jealous really that she could go through it all without the worry and stress that an ivf person goes through. 

Have a good weekend everyone. I'm thinking of you all and sending you much love and hugs xxxc


----------



## 1972

Hi everyone

Pooky - I can't believe how fast it's gone. Time is flying so quickly. Was just saying to DH, now over year since first round for us and we were shortly off to morocco . Feels like yesterday. Xx

Honor - how's the packing etc going? If anything like me, slowly! Have you got an actual date? Xx

Mrs ixy- glad all went well with the scan, how exiting!!! Xx

Afm- we move next Friday. I have so much to do Im starting to panic. We are off today, we are getting few bits for house like curtain poles etc then back to house for painting ceilings today :-/ I need to get on with some serious packing too!!!!! 

Hi to everyone else xxxxxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hi girls,

Honor - yes, I was quite impressed with our hospital as far as speed of screening results goes. I had done the blood test beforehand so those results were already with the sonographer when she did the measurements. She put them into a computer and it calculated the risk there and then - very clever. I know what you mean about thinking it's all in your head sometimes. Though I guess you must have a bump by now . Hope the packing is going OK. Moving a few miles down the road is stressful, let alone moving abroad! You are very brave. But it is exciting. My friend moved to New Zealand years ago when she was in her 20s (and she had a baby over there a few months back) - she was scared at the time but she loves it now - and she talks like a Kiwi!!

Pooky - can't wait for your update on Monday! Nice to hear you have made a friend. I hope I do too. I filled out the form for NCT classes about a week ago but haven't heard anything yet. All my NHS classes are booked, though.

Maisie - good luck with the move. We moved into this house 3 years ago (4 in September) and still have not actually sorted things out properly! Try not to panic. Whenever I start to panic I just shrug my shoulders and think "oh well, it'll all be OK in the end!" 

Hi to everyone else xxx

AFM - working from home today and planning to go swimming (for the first time in a million years) tomorrow. We're picking out paints for our hallway - which DH stripped of its horrid woodchip wallpaper last weekend - and the small room (don't dare call it a 'nursery' yet) too.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Pooky*: Wow - Monday ! Are you nervous?! It's great you finally got to see a GOOD doctor, that must have been reassuring. Good too that you have made friends with another twin mum to be. I too find it quite hard that people who conceived easily seem so laid back about their pregnancies, that's why the thoughts of joining any kind of antenatal class or group scares me !

*maisie*: That's great that you have a move date ! Packing is _so_ overrated though, isn't it?! You just have to believe that you'll get there and that everything will fall into place, and be worth all the stress and hassle .
No, no actual move date for me... DH going out on 8th and hopefully will next week be able to discuss coming back to help with the actual move when he's at the company for his training, which will be one less thing to worry about and bring us one step closer to knowing what's happening when. The main "obstacle" is going to be him finding us somewhere to live once he's there. It's not even 100% sure where he's going to stay next month yet !

*mrs_ixy*: Very clever indeed! 
Good on you going swimming. I have been as lazy as ever throughout . In my defense, it doesn't help that we don't have a car and so it's a trek to get to and from places.

*AFM*: Had a stressful few days with DH being moody and not very nice . We seem to be back on track again though. I guess he's also just worrying about all the upcoming changes and how it's all going to pan out...
[Ha ha - am listening to "Just Dance" by Lady Gaga and baby seems to be dancing along !]

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Hi ladies,

Our little boy was born 2 weeks ago, been v busy ever since! Everything went well and he's gorgeous (obviously!). Will try to write more soon and read up on everything that's been going on with all of you. Haven't stopped thinking about you!

Hugs to all


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations twinklie! What did you call him and how much did he weigh? I hope he's settling in well to life to with.


----------



## Carey

Honor - Glad all is ok with you, hope your mw appts are going ok. Oliver & Daddy support Norwich & Newcastle.... Ive lost them both to the tennis now, they love it. We have paid for another year to keep our frosties. Such a shame your hubby cant make next scan, are you taking anyone else? Bet it was nice to spend some time with your mum, is she looking forward to the new arrival? Xx

Curlyone - How is you new job going? Xx

Mrs-ixy - just had a giggle at your shoe post.... ) Im afraid this baby brain do not go away, mine is VERY bad. Pleased to hear your scan went well ) For me it didnt feel really until i held Oliver in my arms... even when i was in labour it still felt very much like a dream. xx

Maisiemoo - Hows the packing going? Hope your looking forward to making your new home lovely? Xx

Hulagirl - Hopefully your follow up will give you some answer, not long till appt. You going somewhere nice on hol? Xx

Hanna - Good to hear from you, im glad your settling in ok & DH made it over xx

Pooky - Good luck with your appt on the 2nd. Not long till you meet your bubba ) xx

Twinklie - Congratulation to you, a little boy ) hope you are both doing ok & enjouing being a mummy xx

AFM - So as im typing this im thinking back to this time last year...... i was 2 days into my 2ww. Where has the last year gone?! I feel so blessed to have my darling little boy tucked up asleep in this cot. A dream come true.

As always i want to send you all lots of BIG hugs                  and lots of babydust

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Twinklie*:  !CONGRATULATIONS! . Please give us some more details soon !

*Carey*: Good to hear from you, and you sound so content . 
With Oliver joining daddy with the sports watching, it looks like you won't be getting much of a look-in with either of them for the rest of summer !
No, am going on my own to my scan on Thursday. Kind of nervous to be going alone , but if it wasn't for my thyroid, I wouldn't be having this or any of the other extra scans, and DH will be home early evening...

 and  to everyone else!

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi All,

Hope you are all well.

Just a quick note to update you - they are inducing me next Tuesday (10th). It's a bit scary now it's only a week away.....poor dh was in shock when we left the hospital. He's gone to band practice to recover!

Operation get cats used to sleeping downstairs is going badly   Bessie managed to open a closed door last night and crept into bed for cuddles. The other night she was serenading me from the kitchen roof! Archie protested by catching his first ever mouse - thankfully he didn't bring it indoors! He's been running round with a 'I'm the man' look on him since.... .  Maybe I'll just buy some cat nets - I'm sure they won't go near them but best to play it safe

Take care all

Pooky xxxx


----------



## 1972

Just a quickie ..

Twinkie - congrats!

Honor - good luck with scan   xx

Pooky- OMG!!!!  

Hi everyone else. Will be back to more chatting soon xxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Just a quick one as going to work...
Twinklie- Congrats!!!!
Everyone- I am sooo sorry just don't have the time right now to do more personals but I do think of you all often!!  
afm- Been to doctor yesterday, She was rather shocked by the lack of concern from my English doctors regarding my thyroid levels. 
She said it is high, and my high colesterol levels are likely to be caused by the thyroid problem. 
Also I've had this rash sort of thing in my leg since 2007 and English doctors decided it is psoriasis without doing any tests while numerous other doctors work doc and Romanian pharmacist) tried to say it most definitely is not a psoriasis; well this doc said it certainly does not look like ordinary psor, so sending me to specialist, with a note 'if this rash is caused my some sort of auto-immune illness, it also has a connection with infertility often'. My ear problems are also being checked as my symptoms are quite normal symptoms for Meniere's sufferers, British doc's ruled it out every time I went there, even when I vomited all over the waiting room in one of my out-of-balance episodes. And lastly, I got appt to go through my English notes with ivf doc's to start over here. PHEW! I am tired but darn happy to FINALLY feel that I am actually taken seriously. But off to work I go, updating you soon 
xxx
Hanna


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Pooky*: Thanks for the update ! I can imagine how the butterflies must have started up now you have an actual date scheduled ! I'm sure you'll be fine though . Very exciting  !
Good luck with getting the   to stay downstairs at night! Do they cry at doors and scratch them if you close them in downstairs? If you do decide to get cat nets, could you let me know where you got them from, as it's something we may need to consider too. Like you with yours, I don't think Ned will get too close the baby, but definitely better to be safe than sorry.

*maisiemoo*: How's the house coming on? Hope everything's going well .

*Hanna*: Thanks for your update too - good to hear that things are progressing, and in such a way that could make all the difference . How annoying if it turns out that all your medical issues weren't correctly diagnosed and/or treated in the UK and could therefore have had an impact on your fertility and tx cycles . It does sound like your thyroid could have been playing a big role in everything - I know it's not exactly the same, as we also had MF issues, but I'm sure getting off my thyroid medication and getting all levels to what they should be for ttc did help us get our BFP.  with all your further tests and appointments, and here's hoping for some fab BFP news from you in the near future !

*AFM*: DH's first day in his new job had gone well . He called yesterday evening but couldn't speak for long as he was being taken for dinner by one of the guys from the company. Not bad!

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi,

Hanna - good to hear from you and you're sounding so happy and positive   hopefully now the doctors will listen to you you will finally get somewhere. Some doctors over here are terrible! We've finally got a decent gp but when we lived in walthamstow the guy we had was useless and they wouldn't let us transfer to another doctor.

Honor - I'm glad that dh's first day went well   I bought one cat net for a cot today in john Lewis. I'm pretty sure they won't go near the cots when the babies are in them but it will stop them going to sleep in the one in our room when the babies are asleep in the nursery or downstairs.

Take care all xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - good luck with your scan tomorrow!


----------



## Big hat

morning,

Sorry ladies, I've been mentally drained and by the time I get home have just been ready for bed.  Haven't read back but promise to over the weekend. Just seen though, Honor - yey for DH - sounds all good!  Also, good luck on your scan.

Hi to everyone else. 

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Curly*: Good to hear from you . Hope the new job is going well and isn't too stressful.

*Pooky*: Only 4 days to go ! Any plans for your last weekend a deux?
Thanks for the info re. cat nets!

*AFM*: Scan went well, and thyroid still playing nicely, so that's a relief . I thought I'd never get out of the clinic though, as I wasn't allowed to leave until I'd done a sample, but could I go?! No . I must have spent more time in the toilet trying to do the damn sample than I did in the waiting room, scan room, with nurse and in with the consultant all added together... These days I constantly need the loo, regardless of whether or not I've had something to drink and regardless of whether or not I even really need to go, but despite drinking masses of water yesterday (just to be on the safe side), nothing would come! Needless to say, I did finally get it out and out . And I didn't even make it off the hospital grounds before I had to rush into outpatients to use the loo again - typical!
DH arrived back safely yesterday evening. I met him from the train and it was lovely to see him . He was exhausted though and so we came straight home. It seems likes he's had a good but jam-packed few days of training and meeting people. Just today and tomorrow left now and then he's off again, this time for longer . A friend is coming to visit on Sunday, so that should help cheer me up on the day he leaves .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi all 

honor glad things are all going well with pregnancy.

hi curly look forward to hearing all about your new job.

afm just waiting for af due on sun and then i will be officially cycling. finally choose school of ds who is driving me crazy not looking forward to dealing with him and drugs and no dh stilll.


----------



## Honor77

Hi *rachel* ,
Good to hear from you, and great that you're about to start your new cycle -   ! Hope the  arrives tomorrow so as not to potentially mess up any cycle plans .
Also great news that you've sorted a school for Ethan ! I hope you're happy with your final choice?
You know where we are if you need a rant with all you're going to have going on . Am also going to be an "abandoned wife" as of tomorrow so we can rant together .

 and  to all other lovely *Buds*. Kind of dreading DH leaving tomorrow now, as my friend can no longer make it . I think I'll have to resort to some retail therapy - another spending spree of money we don't have . Don't suppose anyone can do a last minute mercy dash over here for consolation cake  ?!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

honor


----------



## Big hat

Mrs_ixy – hurrah for your scan results.  How are you? As for Olympics travel arrangements – it’s the transport workers who are the ones getting me worried.  Love your attitude to life being ok in the end…. Can’t believe you are another one doing DIYing – I have a feeling this forum is morphing  ...x

Hula – hope you got the answers you needed from clinic, and have had a lovely holiday . x

Hanna – it’s so lovely to hear you so happy, and that everything is going really well with you and DH.  It sounds as though your tx could be moving fast - fingers crossed for a miracle, or a successful try with your super clinic. Xx

Honor – My, how quickly things change hey – DH’s job and the move….all very exciting. I know you’ve had mixed emotions throughout re: moving to Germany but, once DH is working and the weight of him not working and looking for work is removed you’ll both have so much more freedom to plan for the future.  Believe me, and the old adage about it being much easier to look for a job when you are in one is SO true. Also, being a new mummy you will have lots to keep you occupied, and places to go to meet other new mums and make friends.  it will be wonderful   xx

Pooky – 10 July – wow!  I have a great image in my head of your DH at band practice – please say he plays the tuba (to support my little tableaux playing out in my mind) .  Internal pressure sounds awful but your comment about how this time last year you’d failed your second fresh cycle puts it all in to a lovely context – how fragile it all is and how miraculous it can be…  x

Twinklie – hoorah for your new baby boy   

Carey – all sounds good in your world, and so lovely.  Hope you are all well!

Rachel – wow!  Your starting your next tx.  That is so exciting.  With all the problems and delays it must feel like it was never going to happen.  Eek  !

Maisie - I really hope you are getting some rest, finally.  Just keep thinking 'it will be sorted soon, it will be...'

Afm: I see a few of us have been in a reflective mood, as we have passed the anniversary of our failed cycles, and look at the new beginnings we’re all having.  I suppose there has been a bit of bittersweetness about starting the job because of that very reason, however, even on the first morning it was as though my time out of work hadn’t really happened – straight back in the saddle…. 

I am working in quite an exciting part of London (and believe me, the work I do, I have seen some pretty dire parts of London).  The hours are quite long, and there are so many intricacies and interdependencies that, in order for me to do my work I am having to operate in a very narrow 'corridor'.  It is interesting and will get more so, it's just I am mentally drained when I get home. Mind you, I did get to do some fab shopping yesterday, and treat DH to some bits and bobs and dinner.  That bit is great  !

As for el pooch - We have our routine sorted, but it means I no longer take him for a morning walk, and he is not quite getting used to it - his attachment issues means he gets terribly stressed when he is on his own.  I have a feeling, and his dog carer has told me, he follows her around and sleeps on her feet (classic signs), so when he gets home he is exhausted.  If we close him in the kitchen and go out, we come back to find that the door and floor are soaking from where he has been putting his nose to the gaps to smell for us, and the gouges in the wood are deeper where he has been scratching to get out.  He will get used to it, and he seems to really like his dog carer, it's just that with both DH and I suddenly disappearing at the same time it is messing with his head.  However, if he wants his doggy treats........ we gotta work  ...and he does get lots of cuddles when we get home.

Best I go and dust the house so the dog carer doesn't thing we are complete slobs when she comes round tomorrow  

Pooky - I'll be keeping an eye out for your exciting news lovely, we are all thinking of you this week.  Hope it all goes well. xxxx

Curly
xx


----------



## Pookychops

He plays the trumpet  

Glad all is well with you curlyone, albeit busy.. Pooch will be ok - if not he can come and cuddle our cats who are not liking the changes to their routines so far......


----------



## rachel1972

hi everyone

curly great to hear the job is so interesting, sorry to hear about your dogs anxiety, must be hard to leave him.


afm my dog is not at all well, dont know whats the matter with him.  got my af so will call clinic in morning to arrange day 5 scan!!


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds!
Im back from hols and had a lovely time - ive scanned back a bit but i havent got much time this evening to write a post so this is a very quick one for pooky to say how excited i am for you for 10th July -  wishing you all the very best and cant wait to hear of the pookettes arrival!! Will be thinking of you.
I will catch up with you all later this week, hope everyone is well
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Just a quickie from me... We are now fully in the new house, out if the old. The place in chaos.... We've gone from 3 bed to smaller 2 bed cottage and were struggling to find room for stuff! Boxes everywhere. Back to work for me today :-( 

Glad all well honor. Xx

Pooky - good luck for tomorrow. Time has flown. Xxx

Curly - glad job going ok. Routine and pooch will get easier  

Rachel - are you at create? Xxxx

Hula - welcome back from hols xxx

Hi to everyone else. Wifi back hopefully tomorrow and I'll hopefully catch up
Properly after that xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you all had a good weekend!

*Curly*: Glad the new job is going well, despite the long hours! I'm sure the shopping definitely makes up for it !
I'm sure pooch will get used to his new routine. It's cute that he misses you though!
Thanks for your kind words re. moving . I'm not really so much worried about being there, more so getting there in the first place with DH still to find us somewhere to live and the move still to co-ordinate dates wise! I'm sure it'll all work out in the end though .

*Pooky*: How are the   today? Do you think they have any idea whatsoever what's, or rather WHO'S!, about to come along and disturb their peaceful life  ?!
 for tomorrow! Hope you aren't feeling too nervous... Please update us as soon as you can! We'll be thinking of you .

*rachel*: Great news that the  arrived on time . Hope you can get your day 5 scan booked today and that this is the start of a successful cycle for you .

*Hula*: Glad you had a lovely holiday .

*maisie*: That's great that you're now fully in your new home ! I'm sure there must be loads to do before you're completely sorted and settled, but you're almost there !
Hope your first day back at work today goes ok .

*AFM*: Met a friend yesterday in the end so had lovely day, after saying bye to DH in the morning. Spoke to him last night and he'd got there safely. He has a busy day today with "official" stuff so I hope he manages to get everything sorted that he needs to.

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

yes maisie create , i am doing a mod. nat. cycle got scan on thursday and then start stimms.


----------



## Gladys07

just logged on and I think you are going in tomorrow Pooky- thinking of you xxx

Hello everyone lots of love x


----------



## 1972

Good luck today Pooky xx thinking of you xxxxxx


----------



## bell26

Good luck Pooky ! Xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

All thoughts with *Pooky* and the Pookettes today .

*rachel*: Great that you got your scan booked! Hope it goes well .

*Dee*: ! Hope you and the little man are doing well .

*AFM*: Work is SO incredibly S L O W... Good job we're not 100% reliant on my income this month . I guess I should know by now that things can be very slow over the summer. I'm trying to use my time wisely, chasing up contracts I've cancelled etc., in preparation for our move. 
I spoke to DH last night and he'd had yet another busy day, this time trying to sort out "official" things (registering with the authorities, tax card, bank account...). I think he's already realising that, job situation aside (which is, of course, massively better than here and therefore a positive thing for us), Germany isn't all that ! He seems to have had this "love affair" with Germany since discovering that the employment market is currently so good there that he was being blind to the reasons why he too hadn't liked living there, a severe case of case of the "grass is always greener" . Obviously I intend to make the most out of our changed fortunes and make every effort to settle in and be happy there this time round, but I have to admit, I am just a teeny, tiny pleased that he's already been irritated by German bureaucracy and fees to pay for bank accounts .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hello lovely buds
How are you all doing?

Pooky - been thinking of you today, cant wait to hear the news! Great to hear you have made friends with a twin mum, hopefully you will have time to see each other and compare notes!
Honor - ive been to the usa which was great, a nice variety holiday with some relaxing, sun, fun and shopping oh and quite a bit of eating - oops! Ive been trying to be good the last couple of days and i really need to get back on it properly and lose some pounds.
I cant believe you can take your cat in the cabin with you. My cats would howl all the way, i think i would need them drugged! They would want to get out and walk about. Great news you can take Ned with you, hope all the plans are falling into place - are you excited?. Are you on track to be out there end of July or do you think it may take longer? Your comment re DH being annoyed about german bureaucracy is funny. Hope your not missing him too much now that you know you will be together soon. Shame he missed your scan - whats your due date - september?
Hanna - great to see you on here again. Hope life is good for you, sounds like it is. What are your business plans - all sounds very exciting.When is DH back? Glad you seem to be getting somewhere with the drs over there - the lack of concern of the english drs is rubbish.
Maisie - hope all good with you. Hows the DIy going? Great to hear you are in your new place, are you happy with your new place ?? - we meant to declutter before we moved but we brought it all with us and i need to have a good clear out and get rid. Might even do a boot fair sometime if i can be bothered. Were you thinking of extending the house? 
Mrs Ixy - hows it going with you? yes i work in London near charing cross. They did an olympics rehearsal today although i saw no sign of anything really - apart from some people in fluro jackets - wasnt busy at all so that was good. Whereabouts are you working? I hope my journey wont be too bad as i dont use the underground but you never know. Am hoping for early start and early finish but no decisions have been made yet. Hols were lovely thanks! Great news on your scan - are you going to find out sex??
Twinklie - congratulations!!! So pleased for you on the birth of your little boy , hope everything is going well.
Carey - hey you - i can just imagine your boys watching all the sport - what you going to do with the olympics?! ha ha!
Curly - hey how are you? What part of London are you working in? Dont talk to me about shopping - i sometimes have to stay in at lunch to keep away from the shops! Bless your pooch - hes just missing his mum, im sure he will get better.
Rachel - great to hear you are cycling again - good luck we will all have our fingers crossed for you! What happened with Ethans school in the end? Are you happy with your choice?
Dee & Bell - hello! hope all good with you!
Squirrel, Karen and any other buds who are lurking hope you are all ok.

AFM - not much news from me really. We had a lovely holiday in the USA a combo of relaxing and doing bits and shopping and we upgraded to business class on the plane for a treat. Back at work and im finding it hard to get motivated this week - post holiday blues....boooo.
Hoping it will get better, havent got much planned for the next couple of weeks so i think i need to make some plans to have things to look forward to. I have an appointment at guys soon so hopefully will have more of an idea about when i can do FET or if there is something new i need to worry about or have further tests. Will keep you all posted.  We have some olympics tickets too so will be looking forward to that in a few weeks time - i have beach volley ball tickets to go on DH birthday -  its a surprise but i think he will like it!The torch goes past us soon, has anyone seen it near them?

Anyway hope all is good with you all 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## zedster76

Hi buds, its been forever since I logged on . . . how are you all doing? x x x


----------



## Pookychops

Hi,
Very quick one from me. Still waiting for babies to come out. Hopefully a couple more hours and we'll be there. We've finally decided on names 

Love to all

Pooky xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Ohhhh, getting there, *Pooky*! Your Skype message from last night popped up sometime mid morning today (what is it with Skype and time delays ), so I was wondering if the Pookettes were here yet or not. Hope they arrive soon! Looking forward to hearing the good news . !

*zedster*: Good to hear from you ! How are you and your little one?
I'm 29-weeks pregnant tomorrow and so far - touch wood  - all going well. DH has just started a new job in Germany and so he's out there at the moment and the plan is to move over properly at the end of the month !

*Hula*: You're sounding very positive after your holiday . Despite being back in work! Sounds like you had a fab time, and how cool that you upgraded to business class on your flight!
Hope your upcoming appointment goes well and you're able to make plans for FET .
That's a great birthday present for your DH! I'm sure he'll be delighted with the tickets!
I didn't see the Olympic Torch when it passed through our neck of the woods, but then I'm the least sporty person alive and to be honest couldn't give a damn about the Olympics !
Yes, apparently we are allowed to take Ned in the cabin with us! I am kind of dreading it, but they say it's allowed, it's a relatively short flight and I know people have done the same on much longer flights, so guess he'll (and we'll!) survive, even if he does hate it and howl all the way . I just have to remind myself that it'll be one day of potential travel hell for him that will be more than worth it for him to get to stay with his family, rather than a few weeks or months of upheaval being handed over to a new family, or back to the rescue centre. I can't bear to think of him in a new home or, even worse, the rescue centre, wondering what on earth he's done to deserve to be deserted by us...
I can't say I'm all that excited about moving. I'm definitely looking forward to just being there and knowing the move is behind us. There's still quite a lot to sort out though and the worry of co-ordinating everything .
Yes, it seems DH rather conveniently forgot about all the things that annoyed him about living in Germany in his determination to benefit from the job situation over there . Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted he finally has a job, so the move is definitely a good one, but he can be quite black and white and stubborn at times!
Baby is due end of September.

*AFM*: DH called yesterday while waiting for a train back to his brother's. I think he'd had a good day but was a bit disappointed not to have been able to get going with his work due to something technical not being there that he needed. It looks like he will just be commuting from his brother's for the rest of the month, which is going to mean quite long days for him, especially on those evenings he has flat viewings (unless tonight's viewing goes well and he can just say we'll take it ), but he'll live! He sounded a little lost and like he was missing me, so that was good !

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi ladies

Pooky - ooooh so excited for you - i cant wait to hear of the pookettes arrival. Hopefully not long to go for you now. 
Hi Zedster - hope you are well, how are you getting on??
Honor - sounds like all the plans are coming together and soon you will be with DH,Ned and your new little bundle - i hope you are nice and settled before bubba arrives. Yes im sure Ned will be fine on the flight, its a much better option than leaving him behind - i couldnt bear to leave my cats or give them up. I wonder how he will get on with german cats ha ha?! 

Yes trying to feel be postive about things and hopefully i will know more soon and have some direction for our next plan of action. Holiday was def well needed and we had a great time although i could get used to being on hols  
chat soon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Honor - forgot to say good luck with DH's flat hunting! hope he finds a lovely nest for you xx


----------



## zedster76

*Honor* thats fantastic news, make the most of your sleeps though  So exciting for you moving to Germany aswell, you'd best get it done soon though as nesting will set in very soon x

I'm back at work in 2 and half weeks, going to hate leaving Scarlett  She's such a happy little girl though, cant believe she's almost 6 months old nearly . . . and just over 12lbs in weight - she's my little doll . . . I have to say though she's that good she's made it so easy for me . . . I havent had one sleepless night 

*Hula* whats happening? Where you up to? . . . by the sounds of things your raring and ready to go after your holidays 

Here's a good old sprinkling of baby dust for you  x x x x x

So how many of the cheesecake gang still log-on?

. . . I'm going to keep coming on as I want to know when everyones dreams have been fullfilled x x x

Love n hugs ladies,

Zoe x x x


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies - hope you haven't drowned!

Twinklie - huge congratulations! That seems to have come around very quickly! Hope you are all doing OK. What's your little boy called? x

Carey - you sound so happy...I am very happy for you 

Pooky - OMG, today is the day! Good luck!!! I will be thinking of you x

Hanna - glad someone is taking your medical issues seriously. Must have been so frustrating not to have been properly looked at in the UK and I hope you get an answer.

Honor - sounds like DH's new job is going well, which is great. Such a brave thing to do! I'm sure it's scary too but it sounds like a really exciting new chapter in your life is just about to start. Glad your scan went well. How ironic that you couldn't do a wee on demand! Do you do some kind of freelance editorial work? I'm just curious. I work as a writer/editor and half the people in my team are freelance contractors. They earn a lot more than I do for doing the same thing, but don't have paid holidays or job security so I guess it's swings and roundabouts. Have you got a moving date yet or are you waiting for DH to find accommodation first?

Rachel - hope your dog is OK and good luck for your forthcoming cycle. All happening again now!

Curly - I'm good thanks, just ticking along and hoping everything is still OK 'in there'! Sounds like your new job is going well. Hope your pooch is settling! Bless him x

Hula - glad you had a good holiday. I'm good thanks. I work in Holborn but I don't use the underground either - I just walk. Our office used to be really close to Waterloo, and I could not afford the extra £700 a year to have the tube put on my travelcard after we moved! I'm hoping for early start/finish too, or working from home. I think the trains will be OK coming into London but not sure about going home! I don't think we will find out the sex but I have reading a bit about how you can try to work it out from scan pics so I dunno - very tempting to try and guess! I would be happy with either flavour as long as all is OK. I just love America - whereabouts were you? We haven't seen the torch but it's coming to near where I live quite soon - I'll be on hols tho! Good luck with your coming appointment. 

Maisie - hope the house chaos settles soon! I'm sure it will. Mind you, we still have plenty of chaos here and we've been here 3 years! Hmmm...

Zedster - how are you? Nice to hear from you. Sounds like you have been very lucky re: sleepless nights or lack of them!

AFM - just over 14 weeks now. 14 + 3 going by clinic dates or 14 + 4 going by NHS dates. It still does not feel real so I hope everything is OK! Maybe I will look back one day and think how lucky I was to have so few symptoms but at the moment it seems almost too good to be true! Anyway, we're off on hols on Sat and finally get to tell DH's mum. He did not tell her about the IVF and wanted to tell her about the pregnancy in person so he's made a little card, which is very sweet. Then when we get back from hols, a few days later I will have my 16-week midwife appointment (although I will actually be just over 17 weeks by then). I also got a letter from the hospital saying an appointment had been made for me at the consultant's antenatal clinic. I think they do this for the IVF people so it is nice to know I am being looked after. Also, pretty sure it's the same person who also works at my IVF clinic. Not actually my consultant there although he has done a couple of 'procedures' on me!

xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Any news, *Pooky* ?! Hope the Pookettes have arrived safely now and that you're enjoying some family time, marvelling at your two little bundles .

*Hula*: Keep up the positivity ! I'm sure having a plan in place soon will help boost that positivity even more .
I don't know how Ned will get on with German cats - he definitely doesn't speak German though ! I just know that he's probably going to miss his best friend "Tigger" who he plays with every day (so, so cute ! MUST try and video them on my phone!) and who'll probably also miss Ned when he realises he's gone .
DH wasn't a particularly good nest-finding bird last night in the end . He *just* missed the bus he needed to take to see the flat and as they apparently only go once an hour and it's ca. 30 mins out of town AND he didn't have the guy's number to call him, he didn't go in the end. He didn't have the guy's number at all so was going to mail him last night to apologise and try and rearrange the viewing. He hopes to do so for Saturday, when he has more time, and can hopefully arrange to see a few more on the same day. Cue stress over his general disorganisation though and whether we'll manage to get something on time with just him on the case .

*zedster*: Thanks for your congrats ! I've generally been sleeping well, so it remains to be seen how baby will sleep... Apparently both my brother and I slept right through from very early on, so I'm hoping this is something my own daughter will inherit from me !
I'm sure it'll be heart-wrenching to have to go back to work and leave Scarlett . Will you just be in part time? I guess it'll only make your time with her even more precious than it already is, and think of all the lovely things you'll be able to do with her and buy her with the money you'll be earning !

*mrs_ixy*: No, no drowing here - in fact, we've had quite a nice few days, even some !
Can't believe you're already over 14 weeks ! Are you taking your EDD on the basis of your clinic or NHS date? There can be a fair bit of a discrepancy between the two and at the end of the day, probably neither will be right! 
I know what you mean about the lack of symptoms making it very hard to believe that it's all for real, but it sure is !
It's good you'll be getting extra care due to having had IVF - I get it because of my thyroid issues and it's definitely reassuring.
Whereabouts are you going on holiday? I'm presuming (near) where DH's mum lives ? I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you and absolutely delighted to hear your news !
I'm a freelance translator. And translation is not a well paid profession and so while I can earn more than I would in-house, there's not really much of a difference when I don't get paid holidays etc., but I love the freedom of being my own boss and couldn't go back to working for anyone again. Could you also freelance?

*AFM*: So, a bit of a sleepless night over the flat situation... I know even if DH had seen that one last night, it might not have been suitable, but at least he'd have been and we'd know. Now it's up in the air again and I'm just  the guy renting it out won't be too cross with DH for not turning up last night and happy for him to still see it. DH isn't the most organised of people and so I can't help but worry that he won't find something on time . He's also not always all that practical or logical and I was having nightmare visions of him taking whatever he could find and it turning out to be a dump or totally unsuitable . After our previous nightmare experience trying to find somewhere to rent in Germany, I'm also a little concerned that he'll find it hard to find somewhere because he's not German and his German isn't great - believe me, I had to hang up on 1 or 2 landlords last time round who were asking far too personal questions about our nationalities and relationship . Please everyone send him lots of good luck wishes and vibes      !

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

Pooky - I am such a numpty! I have spent all day today thinking it's the 10th and of course it is not. Well, can't wait to hear your news!

Honor - ah, I thought you were an editor for some reason. Don't know why. I would quite like to be my own boss one day. I expect I could freelance, but I'm not quite brave enough yet! My job has good maternity conditions as well - you get just over 6 months' full pay. 

We're going on hols in the Lake District and DH's mum is on the way, sort of - she is in Lancashire. 

Totally sympathise with your anxiety over flat situation. I sometimes find it difficult to let other people sort things out. I want to be doing it all myself even when I can't! I will be sending positive flat-hunting vibes your DH's way. Sounds like missing that first appointment was just out of his control. I'm sure he will come up with the goods, especially now that it is so crucial. I also think the landlord would be nuts not to rearrange, and if he refused then he might not be the sort of landlord you would want anyway!

I suppose what you have to say to yourself is you have each other, and you will soon have another little person, and just trust that everything will be OK in the end. That is what I try to do. Different situation of course as we're just doing DIY and decorating, but I do believe that things have a way of sorting themselves out. You've got your surprise natural pregnancy so someone is obviously smiling on you


----------



## Gladys07

Anyone heard from Pooky? X


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Just had an e-mail from Pooky asking me to update everyone: The Pookettes are here! Alexa & Edward were born 11 July. Edward had a low birth weight and a few other complications, but will hopefully be joining his mama and sister today. 

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh bless - POOKYYYYY - when you get a chance to see this - Well done and a big hello to Alexa and Edward     

Hope you are all ok and everyone is well. 
xxxxx


----------



## bell26

Congratulations Pooky  fabulous names  enjoy every second xx


----------



## zedster76

Congratulations Pooky - and welcome to the world Alexa and Edward  your long awaited Pookettes x x x x x

Edward will be fine, Scarlett was only 3lb 2oz but coming on leaps and bounds x x x x x 

Much love to you all

Zoe x x x


----------



## Honor77

Just realised that Liz's mail had further down an original mail from her DH with babies' birth weights: Alexa 2.4kg & Edward 2.2kg.

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Quick one for Pooky - congratulations!!!! So pleased to hear the pookettes have arrived - welcome to the world Alexa and Edward, what lovely names. Hope everything is going well and that Edward can join you today.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Congratulations pooky!!! Love the names


----------



## 1972

There's piccies on ********. They are so cute!


----------



## ma-me28

quick congrats to pooky on the safe arrival of alexa and edward lovely names.x


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Sorry I haven't posted for a while... Hope everyone's ok ? Any news from anyone?

DH is still flat hunting - turns out the town we're going to is notoriously bad for finding a flat . He saw the one he was meant to see last Wednesday on Friday, loved it, but has to wait to hear if we can have it, as others were also viewing it . Just one more lined up to view so far, on Saturday. So, all quite worrying... ^fingercrossed^ something come up soon .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi honor hope you get sorted soon it must be very hard.


my egg collection is on friday


----------



## Honor77

Hi *rachel*,

Thanks .

Wow! Can't believe you have EC so soon ! So everything's going well so far? Keep us posted and !

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

my last injection tonight i feel so tired and i havent started the progesterone yet.

everything gone to plan modified natural cycle.


----------



## Big hat

Hi,

Hnor - hope the viewing goes well for DH this weekend.

Rachel!!!!!! - sweetie, good luck for EC on Friday.  May there be lots of little wonders of the very best grade   


Pooky - hope all is well with you and the babbies.

hugs all

XXXXx


----------



## Hulagirl

good luck for tomorrow rachel!! hope all goes well and that you get lots of quality eggs 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Just a quick  for *rachel* for tomorrow!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

thanks honor all done got to find out tomorrow if fertilised.


----------



## rachel1972

hi ladies 

i out of the race as the egg didnt fertilize , i think collection was done to early.  anyway  glad im not taking the medicine as it had horrible poss. side effects , so i am 6000 lighter and this is it for me fed up with all the poking around and completley broke. have got a wedding tomorrow so am going to  make full use of the bar.  now my focus is on loosing all this wieght.


----------



## 1972

Rachel, I'm so sorry honey...  xxx


----------



## rachel1972

thanks maisie

the day just keeps getting worse just left travis the dog at the hospital he has has a fever and is passing blood.  and the nurse was so horrible about the payment ended up giving 600 on card like if we didnt have a card she wouldnt of treated him we have insurance but they  never said to bring in the documents.  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


----------



## Honor77

Hi *rachel*,

So sorry you're having such a horrible day . That's really disappointing and frustrating news re. fertilisation - don't know what to say ... Hope pooch is better soon and you can perhaps reclaim the fees via your insurance?

,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds*,

Quiet again on here - hope everyone's ok .

*rachel*: How you doing ? 
Is pooch any better?

*maisie*: How's the new house coming on? Does it feel like home now?

*Hula*: Any news ?

*ma-me*: How are things with you at the moment ?

*Curly*: How's work going? Hope you're feeling more settled and that pooch has got used to his new routine .

*Mrs_ixy*: Hope you and bump are well !

*Pooky* and *Twinklie*: Hope your new mini Buds are bringing you much joy .

*Dee*, *Bell* and *Zedster*: Love to you and your little Buds   .

*Karen*, *Lynn* and *squirrel*: Missing you all - you're all always in my thoughts 

*AFM*: Well, we now have less than 2 weeks to move out of our house and STILL nowhere to live ! Am not amused at the decidedly _*UN*_efficient German way of doing things when it comes to renting out flats . We currently have 2 (out of only 4 DH has been able to see so far ) in the running, but whether or not we get either of them is totally out of our hands, as DH was only one of MANY to view each one and in each case, the landlord/agent is taking ages to make a b!oody decision . Fingers crossed for some good flat news in the next couple of days, otherwise we're going to have to switch to Plan B - few weeks with my parents for me and the  and flying out there at the VERY last minute, provided, of course, DH _does_ get something in the meantime, otherwise it'll be on to Plan  C. I wouldn't be surprised if baby popped out tomorrow the amount of stress this damn move is causing !

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

sorry to hear that your are stressed but maybe stays with the parents for a while is a good idea.

afm had to put travis to sleep today very sad day


----------



## Honor77

So sorry *rachel* . You must be devastated, and Ethan too...

Thinking of you .

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey all,
I've been lurking, but just too busy to post... Very happy to hear the Pookettes are now in the loving hands of mummy and daddy xx
Rachel: I did post you on ** too, but wanted to tell you again how sorry I am to hear of your loss, and on top of that the failed cycle... You must be having a pretty hard time   Stay strong! xx
Honor: Oh dear, I hope you find a home soon! You must be going bonkers! You can always come and visit sunny Finland though... xx
Everyone: Hope you are all doing well xx
afm. My head is spinning, I think it is the bloody ear again   . I had to go home after 2 hours work today, was feeling absolutely awful, nauseous and sick   And as much as I know these symptoms are always when I get the labyrinthitis, and I just finished my periods (which were rather short), yes, you guessed it, I still try to turn them to pregnancy symptoms... Well, my nipples are sore, and this is NOT the time for sore nipples, that happens midcycle, right? Going to doc's tomorrow as when I went to doc last month and told about my re-accuring ear problems, they said they need to see it being acute, now it is, might ask for the pregnancy test too... (or not, so I can live in a hope for another 20 days...) 
So thats my update...  
Take care lovelies 
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Hannushka

Oh,oh! I joined *******... find me @MrsVisca


----------



## Hannushka

Evening...
I hope you guys in U.K are enjoying the sizzling sun. I heard it is like sauna there D
Mini update: spent all day, well from around 8am till 3pm at different doctors and specialists. Not pregnant, nipples still sore though... Did million tests on my ears and blance, inconclusive, symptoms not strong enough to diagnose or rule out anything. They need to see the proper 'spinning attack' , which, I think, isn't gonna come this time. They put me forward to neurologist to check my head, like a proper scan to see if there is some neurological reason for my attacks   . Doctor re-assured me they are not looking for a tumour or anything as (in his words) 'I have had symptoms for over 10 years' I took it as I'm very very lucky, as if it HAD been a tumour and since 2003 no doctor in U.K never thought of checking that out, I could be dead by now!!? Ok, might sound a bit dramatical but in theory, that would've happened; they kept sending me home with 'labyrinthitis' which the doctors here have now ruled out. They are now falling towards the Meniere's but need to see the acute attack. 
But why are my boobs sore?!


----------



## Pookychops

Morning everyone,

I hope you are all well. Sorry I haven't been on in ages.

First of all - Rachel - sorry to hear that your cycle failed and that you had to have the dog put to sleep.i hope you made good use of the bar at the wedding and that you can now take some time to heal.

Honor - fingers crossed that you find somewhere to live soon. I'm sure something will come up - will the company out you up somewhere if not?

Hanna - grr this must be very frustrating for you but at least they are investigating thoroughly and will hopefully come up with an explanation soon and then you can move on with your fertility journey.

AFM - well, the pookettes are two weeks old today. We were finally let out of hospital on Monday. To be brief, I delivered both naturally but had to squeeze them out quickly as her heart rate was dipping with each contraction and his was all over the place. Before i had even delivered her they were talking out doing a c-section to get him out - that was one hell of an incentive to push and she was born at 5.07pm and him at 5.21pm. He was rushed off to neonatal care and I saw him for about 30 mins on the first day or so of his life. they left Alexa with me but after a couple of days she kind of shut down and refused to feed - I'm pretty sure it because she was made to sleep under the lamp for jaundice in just her nappy overnight and it was cold. I felt a bit off a fraud on the maternity ward as I went from 2 to 1 to no babies. They were being well looked after on the neonatal ward though and I was recovering on maternity. I then got an infection which knocked me for six but I had to keep zooming between the two wards for feeds and iv drips - it was exhausting. I was finally allowed to join them after a couple of days but I slept in a different bit of the ward while the nurses cared for the babies. It was like joining boot camp on the neonatal ward as babies had set feeding times and had to drink x amount within 45 mins otherwise they would be topped up with a nasal feed. Alexa would not comply but after her pulling her feeding tube out a few times they stopped putting it back in and she bucked her ideas up and started feeding. The whole hospital visit felt like some surreal holiday camp adventure with very bad food!

We have now had two nights at home, feeding is picking up albeit it in a rather random fashion - hopefully they will fall into a routine over the next month.

Not an ideal start to family life but after hearing some of the other stories on the neonatal ward we've had it easy - one baby had been in since birth and was 8 months old. Dh has been amazing and he is so in love with the babies. I have no idea what I would do without him and his support. I have turned into a complete emotional wreck and can cry at anything. On the plus side I have learnt to fall asleep as soon as I put my head back when sitting down. The fur babies were a bit shocked when we all came home yesterday but they seem to be coping better today. I have feliway plugged in and treats a plenty to ease them through this adjustment.

Love to you all and if you want to see any pics send me a pm and I'll forward a link.

Pooky xxxxxxx


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## Hannushka

Dear Pooky, Pookettes and the proud daddy  ,
So very happy to hear everything is settling well. You must all be soooo happy and I am very happy for you too.
You take care of the ickle    ones and the hubby but make sure you get a breather every now and again, it sure is a big change you all are going through. Loads of hugs to you all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

afm. Had another call from doctor today, she had been in contact with fertility clinic, where they said they want to start me on a small dose on thyroid med's as even a small deviation from guidelines can have an effect on fertility. They also said I need to go for more blood tests, full blood count, white cells, the lot, to check for any immune problems. I am very happy to hear that as in U.K I was begging for these tests but was refused. 
Things are moving forward and I'm very pleased   I also got prescription for my nausea and dizziness, and it seems to be working, I'm nowhere near 'cured' but at least I can ead a fairly normal life, not having to lean on my hubby when I walk   (though it felt rather nice leaning on him, I might keep that up for a while   )
It is very quiet here these days, I hope everyone is well xxx
Hanna


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## Hulagirl

Hi buds  
Hope you are all ok and those of you in england hope you are enjoying the lovely weather!

Rachel - so sorry to hear your  egg didnt fertilise   and also about Travis - so very sad hope you are ok, im sure things will be on the up soon. Have you been to healing- that always seems to give you a good boost - any retreats planned??

Pooky - well done and big congrats on the birth of the pookettes, such lovely news. Hope you are doing ok and not too tired, you must be so happy to be home at last and getting on with things as a family. Lovely to hear of your natural delivery too although must have been a worry for you being told to get them out quick and Edward being rushed off..Has DH got a few weeks off work? Have you any help when he goes back to work? Would love to see some pics i will pm you.

Zedster - thanks for the babydust - looking forward to getting going again!

Mrs Ixy - im with you on the travel £700 is alot to spend to get the tube, bus etc added plus its not that bad to have a walk. Its quite nice to walk if its not too far. I used to walk from charing cross to holborn-  just about the right distance to not get too fed up with it. Hope you have a lovely holiday - you off anywhere nice? Sounds like you are being well looked after by your clinic. Hope everything is good for your next appointment.

Honor - sorry to hear the flat situation is stressful. Hope you arent getting too stressed out with it. Everything will work itself out - dont worry! Have you started Ned on the german lessons yet?   i did a couple of years of it at school many moons ago and i do not remember v much at all apart from greetings and can you tell me where the station is? 

Hanna - good to hear that things are looking up for you with your meds and being taken seriously by the drs. Lets hope this is the key to getting your dream. Has your DH joined you now? How are you finding it being home - feeling settled? I suffer from dizzy spells when i fly long haul feels ever so strange like everything is spinning. The dr said mild labyrithitis.When do you think you might cycle again - any hope of anything funded?

Dee how are you? enjoying this lovely weather with Stan??

Curly, Bell, Twinklie, Maisie,Ma-me, Karen, Lynn, Squirrel and anyone else lurking - how are you??

AFM - i had my follow up and all bloods were fine. Already had the results of the analysis of the embryo so we discussed that a bit and they reassured us that we should be ok in the future, would be really bad luck if it happened again with the same cause. Still feel sad about it and i cant help but think what week i would have been up to now but hopefully when i get going with the next cycle i will forget about that. Hoping to start a frozen cycle next month so will have everything crossed that we have an embie that defrosts ok to put back. We discussed how many we would put back - im not sure?! any advice?? I am wondering if the embies are stored as singles or pairs as i wouldnt want any to be wasted if they had to defrost more than one and then recommended only putting one backand the other being wasted? If we dont have any embies to put back i guess we will look to do another cycle but i also have to look for a new job too in the next couple of months as my contract ends soon so that will complicate things! 
On the up side i saw the olympic torch today which was cool although it was so busy in London. All getting pretty busy now, i am wondering how long it will last for and how long the tourists will be stick around for.  I was also really lucky to get a sneak preview of the opening ceremony this week but i wont be spilling the beans  

anyway hope all good and chat soon

love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Honor77

Very early good morning *Buds* !

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days - it's been all go here and in the end, I'm moving out today and heading north to stay with my parents, via my brother's for the weekend, as DH still hasn't had any luck with a flat . Our new deadline is 30 August, but I won't be allowed to fly after that, so please keep everything crossed that he finds something VERY soon .

*rachel*: How are you doing ?

*Hanna*: Sounds like you've been busy with doctors etc. but great news that you're finally getting the right tests to find out what's really happening, and hopefully what can be done to improve your fertility .
It has indeed been roasting here. I'm quite looking forward to the forecast lower temperatures on their way !
I'm not too stressed out at the moment, now we have decided what to do as the next step, but I am worried that DH won't find us anywhere before it's too late to get over there to have the baby, and know I _will_ start stressing out about that if he doesn't get anything soon. This baby has been such a miracle, it's unlikely it's going to happen again and I really don't want DH to have to miss out on her birth and not have him there with me .
I wish we were moving to Finland - much more interesting that boring old Germany! His company do have an office there, so you never know, one day..!

*Pooky*: Lovely to hear from you , although I'm sure everyone understands that you're a very busy new mama so won't have as much time to post!
It was good to read all about the Pookettes' arrival, tho' it sounds like you had quite an ordeal... But, you and they got through it and you're now all home safe and sound and I'm sure will soon enough adjust to your new family life ( and  included!) . I'm sure bringing one baby into the world and taking him or her home can be overwhelming enough as it is, let alone two babies! How long is DH off work for?
I'd love to see some photos, so please PM me the link !
No, I don't think his company will put us up anywhere - I don't think they have anywhere they could put us up. DH is doing all he can to find something, but the competition for flats is just so stiff. We had been waiting to hear about one, which we didn't get but can have if the person who did get it hasn't signed by Monday. I don't hold out much hope though... DH has been staying in a hostel and is going to try and find a studio flat for him for August. We can't exactly live in a B&B or studio flat with a baby and kitty though, so I'm better off staying put until we have somewhere at least do-able and longer term.

*Hula*: Glad your follow-up went well and you're probably going to be able to get going again soon, with no reason why you won't get a sticky bean this time round . It must all be very bittersweet though and very hard not to think about what could have been . You sound like you're doing well, but it is ok to still be grieving and at times to feel like screaming at the world .
Sorry I can't help on your embyro question. I have though read how frozen embyros are thought to be more resiliant and therefore more likely to result in a BFP - not sure if you'd be interested in looking into that and if it would influence your decision? Perhaps ask your clinic for some more info on how many they defrost at once and what they might advise.
No, Ned won't be learning German. Anyhow, if German cats are like German people, they _all_ speak English anyhow . Even with 2 degrees in it, having lived there already for 5 1/2 years and working with it every day, I may be the one needing lessons - translating it is very different to speaking or writing it and it's been ages since I have done, mainly down to how last time they totally knocked all confidence out of me . So, if their English is _sooo_ great, let them let me mock them this time .

*AFM*: So, big move stage 1 this weekend. My parents and brother are coming over to move me out today - our things into storage and me and Ned to my brother's for the weekend with everyone and then up north on the train with my parents early next week. Me and Neddy will, of course, be travelling in style - the first class tickets were cheaper than the second class ones (logical British fare pricing system!) ! I don't think he'll give a monkeys whether we're in first or second class - the ordeal will be equally as painful for him, no doubt ! I feel awful taking him away from his BFF "Tigger" . They hang out all the time and so I'm sure are going to be miffed to no longer be able to see each other.
A lot to do today, although it didn't mean I had to wake up at 4:30 a.m. ! I might just have a nap later and let everyone else do the hard work around me !

Love to all ,

xxx


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## Hulagirl

Honor - everything crossed for the flat situation, i really hope that DH finds something soon. Hopefully the  other people wont sign by Monday and then all will be sorted. Is DH home to the UK anytime soon? 
Make sure you rest up this weekend and let everyone else do all the moving of your things. 
Take care
xxxxxxxx


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## Nordickat

Just a quick visit to see if the pookettes arrived. Welcome to the world babies. Give your mummy a cuddle from me.

Love to everyone else too. I do still think if you all and wish for happiness to fall upon all of you.
Katxxx


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## 1972

Hi buds

Poony - have seen pics on ******** and they are gorgeous. You are a very lucky lady xxxx

Honor- good luck with the move. I hope it went smoothly. What a rubbish situation to be in. Fingers crossed dh finds something soon. Are his firm not offering relocation support?? Our company would be in huge trouble if they recruited someone from another country and didn't... Xxxx

Hula -   glad to hear you got some answers. Personally I'd have as many put back as I could. The chances of all taking are slim. A friend from another thread had treatment at serum where they put 4 back!!!! She is now pregnant with twins. Let us know how you are doing xxxx

Kat - big hugs to you. Missing you x

Hi to everyone else. Not much to report my end. DH and I have no money left after house so tx seems a distant hope.. Am slowly considering I may never be a mum as I'm not sure how many more goes it should take. 6 embryos on board last year and almost 3 years of trying naturally , I'm thinking it's never gonna happen. 

We moved into house 3 weeks ago now?? Slowly settling in but so much to do. I'm facing facts that I'm going to have to live with 80's kitchen for some time! We've got new windows, front door, flooring and slowly decorating each room. That will do for now. 

LOve to you all xxx


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## rachel1972

hi all 

hula- good luck with next round.

honor- dont do to much!

hana how are you?

afm i am ok surprisingly , i thought i would have to be sedated when we talked about loosing Travis but i really had prepared for it mentally for a while , god bless him miss him loads.

love to all xxx


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## Hannushka

Rachel- you made me well up.   We had to put our 13 year old dog to sleep last year when I came to Finland on a holiday, but as you said, I started preparing to it beforehand too, and on top of that I had to prepare my mum to it too. She loved him so much and sometimes that love blinds you from the fact that it is better for your dog. Our dog was old, suffered from heart disease and had started losing hair, yet my mum who was with him every day, didn't see how bad shape he was in. When the day came, it wasn't as bad as we had thought, we knew he'd be in a better place and we still have our fond memories of our little hairy brother   Is that Travis in your ** pic? He was gorgeous! Take care xx
Kat- Good to see you are lurking, hope you are well xx
Hula- I agree with Maisie, as many as they let you.. I don't care what they say but it DOES increase chances in my opinion, to me it is common sense, if one doesn't other might, if that doesn't, the third might, right  
Honor: Oh I really hope you find a home before your flying ban xx
Everyone:   
afm: Had my blood tests today and collected my Thyroxin tablets, starting on them tomorrow... We turned a healthy sleeve with hubby and doing low carb/no carb style diet, not going overbroad though, also checking out pilates/yoga lessons in the area for autumn... exciting! 
Take care all
xxxxxxxxx
Hanna


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## rachel1972

thanks hana  yes thats Travis last year on holiday.


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## bell26

Hi Buds,

Hope you are all well which ever stage you are at. Still think of you all fondly 
DH has just lost his job so we have until 1st November to move from Berlin back to the UK, not ideal as no job to go to but I hope something works out, just glad we kept our house and rented it out whilst we were away!

Giuliana is great, she is getting so big, nearly six months old already and trying to crawl ! Time goes so fast. The other day I just looked at her in my arms sleeping and just burst into tears, some days I still can't believe that she's here, I feel so incredibly blessed. I hope you all find happiness and get to have your babies at some stage, I know it's hard but stay strong, don't ever give up hope.

Lots of Love
Bell xx


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## Nordickat

When ever I read 'never give up hope', 'my world is complete', 'baby is my life',  etc etc, it always makes me feel so much more of a failure and for some reason today I need to voice that. Its also the reason I am rarely on FF anymore.

Giving up hope of having a baby is actually perfectly OK. Its not giving up on life, its not being beaten, its just changing course thats all. There really are lots more things in the world that can make us 'complete' instead of being a mum (although I know some of you disagree with that). Sometimes things happen in peoples lives that makes them realise that there is more to life than being a mother. You don't need a baby to be a family. DH and I are a family of 2 and we always will be. One day we'll find happiness but it won't come in the form of a child, but thats not giving up hope, its living and its living an equally valuable and worthwhile life.

I wish you all well on what ever path you take, whether it be to motherhood or not.

Katxxx

PS. Rachel   - I'm so sorry about Travis


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## rachel1972

thank you kat and all a can say is that being a mother is not all rosy but having a dog is the best always.


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Greetings from the north - finally made it here yesterday,  and all, who was a complete star and enjoyed his first class train ride ! Been a busy but nice few days, just missing DH loads  and still no flat news .

Sorry a very short one but lot to do today. Hopefully catch up with you all properly very soon; thinking of you all though .

xxx


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## 1972

Kat honey - hear hear... A child should never make any of us, or our relationships - it should just be an added bonus. Wishing you and DH much love and happiness on your journey to the future as 2 1/2 ( inc pooch) lol  

Honor - good to hear you are there and settled. I cannot believe your patience. I would not have been able to deal with DH job and flat issues!  

Rachel - I will be devastated when anything happens to mini mais.. You are being very brave xxxxx

Bell - hi! Hope all works out re move back. Good to hear all good xxxxx


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## bell26

Kat,

Sorry to be blunt but my comments were in no way meant to make you feel that way. You are not the only one who's had a rough ride, I didn't have it too easy myself. You are the reason I rarely post on her as on more than one occasion you have decided to snipe at me for no reason.

I hope for your sake you do find happiness rather than bein so bitter about everyone else's, especially people who have walked more than a mile in similar shoes to yours.

Bell


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## Hannushka

Hey all,
Hope all is well...
I'm sure Kat didn't mean to snipe at anyone, we all have been bitter and had rough times in this journey and I would hate there to become bitterness and anger between any of us.
Bell: Glad to hear all is going well. I am sure the journey is still raw in your mind too and continues to be and you know how lucky you are when you look in Giuliana's gorgeous eyes. Lots of hugs xx
Kat: In a way your message was sort of positive, because it does tell me that you are well on the way to find other things in life, because there are, and though the biggest dream of having a baby wasn't in the cards (who knows, it still might be, not that I want to give false hope but stranger things have happened and continue to happen in this life). I hope you see what I'm trying to say. I do think of you a lot and you deserve every happiness in the world xx
Honor: Hope you've had some good news re: new home xx
afm: I have some news: booked at the ivf clinic 24th of september to start our journey again!! Very excited, I heard that the queues might be 6-8 months so it was a huge suprise to get the letter. Very much more in detail they are, there is phsycological questionnaire we both need to fill in regarding how infertility affects our day to day life, asking if we feel bitter, sad and non included when around friends and family with babies and if it affects our work etc... Might take a good while to fill in so they don't make silly decisions if I give the wrong answer D
I do wish everyone is well and happy xxx
ps. let's be nice xxxxxxx


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## Carey

Hiya Buds,

Hope you are all ok, thought i would say a quick Hello & see how you all are.

Hulagirl – Have you been to watch ur games yet? I did watch abit of volleyball & quiet enjoyed it. The boys are setting up camp every evening to watch it ) not long till your tx, did you decide on number of eggs to have put back xx

Mrs-ixy – Hope all is going ok for you. Do you have your 20wk scan soon? Xx

Pooky – Big congrats coming your way on the birth of the twinnies ) lovely names. Hope all is well with you all & your settling into your routines xx

Rachel – How are you?  So sorry to hear about your Egg & your dog ( sending you BIG hugs xx

Maisie – Hope your  ok & settled  into your new home hun xx

Bell – hiya, glad to hear all is well with you, cant believe how quickly time has gone with our little ones going to be 6 months soon. I also get taken back sometimes when looking at Oliver & have a tear or two. I feel so lucky that what i went through turned into my dream come true xx

Hanna – Fab news on starting tx again, i hope that all goes well next month xx

Honor – Hope your ok & not missing DH tooo much? Any news on a flat yet? Xx

Hello to all you other lovely buds xxxxx

AFM - all is going ok. Oliver is getting big, only a few weeks off being 6 mths!!!!! still cant believe where that time has gone.

sending lots of   to everybody xxxxxxx


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## 1972

Bell. I don't think Kat was having a dig at you and I think perhaps we should all understand how others are feeling. I cannot talk for everyone but as you all would have noticed, I no longer regularly post here either and that's because I find it incredibly difficult as so many buds now have gone on to get their dream and it's very very difficult for those who haven't.

The purpose of this thread was to be supportive and I don't think some of the posts here are. 

I've been thinking about this for a while too, but I think I am going to leave this thread. I wish all of you the best of luck in your journeys wherever you are. 

Mais xxx


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## Nordickat

Bell - I was going to appologise to you as I was actually ranting about an email telling me I should 'just try serum' as I'll get a BFP there. I was referring to all the tedious messages I get telling me that I should move to where ever they have just got their BFP instead of moving on to new dreams - bad timing on my post thats all. The reason I'm not appologising though is I then saw the bit where you think I'm bitter and snipey. That part is almost funny though I guess since I am one of the least bitter people to walk the planet and as for sniping, its really not my style. None of the multiple BFN people I know are bitter when I think about it. Don't you think the effort of trying so many times actually sucks the bitterness and passion for it out of you? I have many many bad qualities but I can assure you that bitterness and spitefullness are not on the list.

Thanks for the rest of you for support on this one though   

Rach - its the wagging tail thats the best isn't it?   Hope you are OK and the hole Travis has left is slowly filling.

Hanna - lots of luck with the questionnaire/exam   . And yep you are right, with no more tx costs there is a whole lot of stuff out there to be done. Diving the Dutch Antilles in Autumn, xcountry skiing across Yellowstone and I have to perfect my snowboard 180 before I turn 40! I doubt I'll be around for your tx (I only popped on since there had been a rush of posts ....... mostly caused by me it seems .... oops ) so I'll wish you lots and lots of luck with it.

Over and out, 
Katxxx


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## Nordickat

And blimey Bell, don't not post because of me as thats just silly. You really do have me all wrong I promise you as I'm a complete softy.


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Finally some quiet enough time to be able to post properly. I was saddened to read the most recent posts - I don't want anyone to be falling out or feeling unsupported . I'm sure it was just an unfortunate case of crossed wires on what is, after all, such a highly emotive subject .

*Hula*: Thanks for your good luck wishes re. a flat . Unfortuantely, whoever had been offered the one I mentioned must have signed in time, as the agency didn't contact DH to say otherwise. Still no news, but he's plodding on with the search and hopefully something will come up very soon . 
No idea when I'll see DH  but it doesn't make much sense that he comes over before finding us somewhere to live or before baby is here (whichever happens first!), as he needs to be there weekends really for flat hunting.
How are things with you anyhow? Any more idea on how many embies you'd like put back? Not an easy decision to make but I hope you can get enough info and advice to come to a decision you're happy with .

*Kat*: Good to hear from you . You're right - there are many ways in which to have a full and fulfilled life. As *maisie* says, a child is an added bonus when you set out to extend your family, but whether or not you go on to have a child does not change the fact that you and DH/DW (and any fur babies of course!) are already a family, and no reason why that family unit can't be just as close and loving and have just as fulfilled a life as family units with children. 
It sounds like you have lots of fun things planned, tho' you can keep the xcountry skiing !

*maisie*: Thanks for your good luck wishes re. the move . It took much longer than I expected but went well, thanks . It was good to have it over and done with, which I'm sure you'll have felt too once you got into your new home. There's so much to sort out though, isn't there?! All the changing of addresses and chasing things up - seems neverending, but am getting there!
An 80s-style kitchen ?! Pity it wasn't a 70s-style one - would be very "in"! I'm sure you'll get there in the end and have a fabulously gorgeous house ! I guess in a way it's quite nice to have all the work to do so that you can make the whole place just how you want it, just a pity about all the work involved...
And the expense... Are all tx plans completely on hold or are you still thinking about "shopping around" a bit to explore your options?
I hope I haven't come across as unsupportive by not asking you much about future tx plans, I just wasn't sure you'd constantly want people asking you what your plans were etc., as I know that can get tedious . It'd be a real shame to lose you on the thread . I understand though that you need to do whatever is best for you and hope that if you do decide to leave us on here, you'll somehow otherwise keep in touch .
I am trying my best to remain calm about DH being away and flat issues, but it's not always all that easy... I'm missing him SO much and the hardest thing is just not knowing when I'll get to see him. But, I am at least now not just all on my own and am trying to be positive too that at some point we will find our new home and be able to be together again .

*rachel*: I guess having known for a while that pooch was not himself and therefore being mentally prepared for the news must have helped a little, but know you must still be sorely feeling his loss . Hopefully he's now pain free and at peace .

*Hanna*: It's good to have you back as a more regular poster ! And what great news that you can start your tx much sooner than expected. The questionnaire does sound a little scary, but it's refreshing to hear of somewhere that obviously cares about its patients' welfare and recognises the link between IF and all the stress and anguish it causes. I'm sure there are no right or wrong answers and that it's more about getting to know you and DH as individuals and your specific situation. Good luck with your new healthier diet too ! It's great that you're feeling in such a positive place now you've settled back home -  this continues over to a positive cycle and outcome for you!

*Bell*: Good to hear from you too . Glad Guilana is doing well , albeit growing up so very fast - I can't believe she's already nearly six months' old ! 
Sorry to hear about DH's job though... I know just how stressful that is and hope something comes up for him soon . How do you feel about moving back to the UK? Funny we're heading in opposite directions!

*Carey*: ! Glad all is well with you . So, you've been abandonned for sport yet again ?! Why not indulge in some sport of your own while they're glued to the Olympics - shopping ! Seems fair enough to me !
Another almost 6-month-old baby Bud - how time flies !

*AFM*: Well, getting all settled at my parents for the foreseeable. The  seems happy enough and is enjoying the masses of birds that seem to flock over and into my parents' garden, with a window seat by the French doors, perfect for bird watching ! If we're still here by ca. next Wednesday, I'm going to let him out into the garden, just while I'm around and can stay with him, as he's never wandered very far and seems quite at home so I think will be fine and enjoy the fresh air and having a proper garden to run around and explore.

Love to all ,

xxx


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## Big hat

Mornin ladies,

Am not going to do a long post - have read back over the past few days and ......well.....whenever I and my siblings used to fall out my father used to make us rub noses.  Nothing reduces tension quicker than being nose-to-nose with someone you would love to hit and bite, believe me!!!!!        So, can we assume that has happened here (the rubbing noses, not the hitting and biting  ).  For those of you who get to be parents - that tip was for free  .  I suppose that will mostly be Pooky at the mo'.  

Pooky, would love to see a piccy of your little ones.  xxxx

Hanna - really good news for you.  Also, once more supporting my thoughts that IVF in the UK would be a darn sight better if doctors were a bit more creative in their thinking (as they seem to be across the whole of Europe) instead of plodding along the well worn path of tx suggestions and tests, then saying 'oops, you've used up your free goes, off you pop to the private clinics.  Good luck missy, I hope this a)puts and end to your labyrinthitis  and b)puts a little bundle of joy in your arms.

Honor - hope you get sorted and are soon back with DH. xx


Lots of love to all of you.

take care

Curlyone
xxx


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## 1972

Hi everyone

Want to reassure you all that I'm not commenting re certain people just generic. It's a self preservation thing. Not all of us will get our dream and that's hard to come to terms with and to adjust to. And so to help matters it's best if I stay away. I think Kat feels the same although cannot comment for her. 

Love to you all. Xxxxxx


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## ma-me28

hi all just quick  post to say im still lurking not much to report my end, hope everyone is doing ok.


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## bell26

I think I will say goodbye to you all too buds, I though maybe I could be a persons who's long drawn out journey would help some of you think that it is possible and sorry to use those words again.. Could give you some "hope" that anything is possible. Clearly I have just become one of those irritating success stories. I'm sorry, I didn't ever want to be looked upon in that light. 

I never said that not being a Mum would leave any of you unfulfilled. My DH and I had a plan B. If we were never to have a baby we were going sell up, to move to Barbados, do bar jobs to pay the bills and live in paradise. We are very much in love and had Giuliana never entered our lives we would have found happiness in our plan B instead.

I hope and wish for you all that you find your happiness, whatever that may be. 

I apologise that some of my posts about LO have offended or hurt you, having had several BFN's and angel babies that was never my intention. 

I will not however apologise for being overjoyed about being a Mum, I endured alot of pain and years of tears to get where I am today and I believe that we bloody deserve it so I will not be made to feel guilty for it.

Bye buds, be happy
Bell xxx


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## rachel1972

Please ladies Love and peace too all


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## Nordickat

We can't rub noses since mine is peeling and looks pretty grim but no need to leave. I came on to rant about emails telling me to change clinics and to be honest didn't even read your post but what ever you said about hope must have caught my eye so ended up being typed. I do strongly object to being called bitter because really I'm not. And because I'm not at all bitter i would never ever want your story to have had a different end. You do deserve every drop of your happiness and that has never been an issue in anyones posts. Surely we all want each other to be happy on here? I am one of the lucky ones and my journey has been easy and i don't have the same passion for motherhood as many on here so i guess its easy for me to post this message. Lots of people have since mailed (not buds) me to say actually they are bitter so i was wrong Bell. Forgotten where i was going with this ramble, lol, watching the tennis. I think i was just going to say that you but i can asure you i' not IKT of them. You shouldn't leave because you think i don't want you to be happy and enjoy your little one. Firstly because i shouldn't have that kind of influence, but secondly, and most importantly because you Are wrong because i don't regret my story and wouldn't change anything and I'm very pleased to have been a part to every success story on this thread. The aim is to have a baby, thats why we all started this thread so how could we ever begrudge anyone getting that dream. It could have been the other way around and i'd like to think you would have wished me well? Not sure about Barbados, bit hot for me but i have plenty of other things to aim for and its almost your duty to help me get there since i supported you to your dream ;-)
Don't anyone leave the thread because you think others hate your happiness. I sure its not true and i'd be upset to have misjudged anyone to that extent if i find out I'm wrong. And my BFP is just around the corner and i'll top trump all of you. I have 19 chicken eggs in the incubator and i'd like to see any of you on your 3ww (chicks take longer) with 19 babies on board!!!

Waffle over. Lets go back to being the buds we always been xxx


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## Nordickat

Your inbox is full Bell


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## Honor77

What *rachel* said  . Please no one leave  - everyone is welcome and everyone is loved and appreciated .

Let's change the subject and complain about the b!oody Olympics instead, messing with my soap schedule .

xxx


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## Nordickat

You're on to a loser there honor - loads of olympics addicts on here 
Sooooo exciting. Way better than any soap lol


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## Honor77

I expected as much ! It is SOOOO BORING *yawn* *yawn*!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing like a good episode of a soap for some perfect escapism - makes your own constantly up and down, drama-ridden life seem positively normal !

xxx


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## Hulagirl

Yes come on buds, I dont want anyone to leave  . Peace and love to all, lets not waste any energy - maybe we need an emergency cheesecake hour to restore normality to the gang?! 

So far the olympics hasnt impacted my travel at all - i think i must have been in hundreds of photos whilst trying to hurry through the west end whilst trying to catch my train home- i could have been mistaken for a 100m sprinter  
I do agree though i havent see any soaps at all - must get on and catch up on the misery and see whats been happening in the last couple of weeks  

not much to report at my end, should be starting fet in a few weeks time and still having that dilemma on how many to put back. Job hunting too but not looking very hard  
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

DH just told me the cutest thing. He was walking the dog on his lead this morning and a little boy asked his Dad if our pooch 'always have to be attached to his daddy'. How sweet is that?

Soaps are sooooo depressing honor. I'd much rather watch the cycling whilst telling myself that tomorrow i'll go and train. In fact, if it wasn't for the several glasses of wine, i'd have gone training tonight ;-)


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - I don't normally like watching sport but seeing as my backside seems to be glued to sofa with non stop feeding I've really gotten into it! I'm going to have withdrawal when it's finished! Daytime TV is rubbish. I've started ordering box sets to watch - hopefully I'll get myself organized soon and not rely on TV to entertain me and will be able to go out.


First day on my own tomorrow - am petrified! Dom keeps asking me if I'm going to be OK and that makes me feel even more unsure! Also had an incident with the inlaws last week where they stayed till 1am and I was shattered and a bit short with them. His mum was supposed to come round and help and she just came round, demanded wine and said she couldn't help as she didn't know where anything was and she didn't know how my mum did so much here. I kindly suggested that she did the same as my mum and just open cupboards and look for what she wants! Anyway, dh has been dropping hints all week that I was out of order and we had to go there today for lunch. I burst into tears beforehand as he gave me instructions on what to do if I felt tired or grumpy. it was OK over there but she kept saying how nobody was allowed to wake the babies. I asked her last week not to pull them around while they were asleep which I think is a fair request! All she wants to do is poke them and look for reactions! She won't change nappies and has offered to come over and help but I know I will just end up having to entertain her when she gets bored of 'helping out'! Or she'll just go and play with the cats! 

Sorry - rant over!

If I get a mo tomorrow I'll upload some pics to ** and send you guys links

Love and hugs to all xxxx


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## Big hat

Sorry, NO soaps allowed in this house.  Coronation street was always banned in our house when I was growing up, and still, as soon as the music starts, it's automatic pilot to turn over the channel.  As for any of the others - nah....no thanks - give me happy telly, of factual.  

Pooky - hats off to you - you're a much better person than me.  Your mother-in-law obviously has some issues - that she needs to deal with not you.  You must be beyond exhausted, and actually now is the time to set in place how your children are going to be raised, and your expectations of what you expect from family if they want to see the grandchildren.  Dear Mother in law needs to learn that sitting on her derriere when there are two babies who need looking after is not an option, oh, and wine is off the menu for at least 6 months.....put your foot down me dear, and lay down the law - it'll be the only way.    

Hula - I'm with you - London is quieter than normal - I even get a seat on the tube - joy!

Kat - 19 chicken eggs!!!!??  

Night night all.

lots of love

Curlyone
xxxx


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## Hannushka

Kat, very true regarding the olympics, since watching those amazing trim bodies I have started running again and can't wait for the new autumn yoga classes to start 
Curly- also true re. Soaps, though i do watch emmerdale and some finnish soaps, were once an eastenders fan and loved sunday hollyoaks omnibus  so, in fact what I'm trying to say is 'I wish I could turn the channel when the soaps come on' D
Pooky- oh dear, you must be going mad with the inlaw... Your little babas are sooo cute  she can't keep her hands off them ! But for god's sake I'd slap the one who wakes up a sleeping baby!!  maybe she wasnt a hands on mum herself, and everything was done for her? See I have noticed How unsure and at times rather useless my own mum is with my niece, she then admitted she never bathed me or my 2 sisters as she was too scared, my dad did it. My dad also cut our nails and my nan was around always, ALWAYS to do the nasty jobs...  But sure she should understand how tired it must make you to care for 2 at the same time. You give me her number and I'll tell her!! Or maybe we cheese gang could do a group chat with her 
I gotta get ready for work now so take care all
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


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## Nordickat

Hanna - my training will always start tomorrow so I'm impressed yours has actually started. I'm too tired from watching others on tv at the moment ;-)

Curly - The international BBC channel has the eastenders omnibus every sunday for all the addicted expats.

Pooky - maybe an honest 'I'm too tired to move so you'll have to make your own, and please make me one too'. And i think its ok for new Mum to go to bed early even with guests. You 3 are most important so be selfish and a bad host if thats what you need. I hope she is more helpful once the babies get more interesting. In the meantime, if you don't make her a drink, then thirst/hunger may just drive her to helping out a bit. Good luck and don't waste a second wondering if you were short, its your right as an exhausted new Mum.

Katxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - i hope your first day alone went ok. All the twin mummies i have ever spoken to on here have had kittens about the first day. I'm pretty sure i remember tears of exhaustion at some point from all too. But i do know that every trio i know on here is thriving


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## Honor77

Oh, I am SUCH an idiot  - typed a long post, previewed it but didn't save it .

Might try again later...

xxx


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## Pookychops

Morning, 

Ok, I have cheated so far this week. My dear friend Anna turned up with lunch on Monday and stayed all afternoon and helped out. Yesterday the mil turned up and it was like someone had given her a good talking to - she offered lots of help. Still awkward with holding babies but I tried to give her some pointers. She texted dh in the eve to say she'd had a good time and apologized to him for not being very good with babies - referring more to her being his mother.Moshe even offered to help out with a night shift, but she's nowhere near that stage yet - would probably pay out for a night nanny instead knowing her  

Today I am All alone although my neighbour said she'd pop round so maybe I'll just lock her in When she gets here 

Kat - are you turning into farmer Kat Bees, now chickens, what next?


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - its not cheating. Its training, working up to the main event home alone today. Its like all the olympic gold medal winners do. And anyway, its what new mums do isn´t it, they lunch   . Here you get put in touch with others who gave birth at the same time and you spend your 12 months maternity leave doing lunch ....... well thats what it seems like when you can´t get a coffee anywhere because the buggies are blocking all the doors lol. I´m sure that pg weight gain is nothing to do with being pg, it all comes from morning coffee and cake, followed by lunch and cake, followed by afternoon tea and cake  . I was going to say bout your MiL maybe being a bit intimidated and frightened by it all rather than not being interested. Possibly she just doesn´t want to interfer. Whatever the reason though I hope the new and improved version continues.

As for farmer Kat ....... its ´The Goodlife´Kat. We´ve always had chickens. 4 at the moment. I guess I didn´t know you when we hatched the last lot and DH was out wringing the necks of cockerels at 5am (you can´t tell if they ae boys or girls until that first early morning cock-a-doole-doo). You missed all that Kat melodrama. 

Katxxx


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## Pookychops

Oh it would break my heart to have to kill off the boy chickens! When we were in India we parked next to a chicken stall - you go up, pick your chicken and then they cut the head off, throw it in a bin until it stops moving and then they pluck it. Blood went everywhere! I did not feel well after that!

We did think about having chickens but too many foxes round here. I like the idea of growing a pig, as such, and then having it chopped up, but in reality I could never eat something I'd raised! I feel bad if I accidentally kill a house plant!


----------



## Nordickat

DH has to be the man of the house and kill them No way could I do it, but mainly because its hard to tell whether then are dead or not and I hate the thought of them being alive but in agony. We might eat them this time though. Our Chinese friend was really disappointed that we threw them away as baby bantum chickens are a New Year delicacy   . Its not hard to make a fox proof run and shed. The fox comes by every night (seen the little devil on the camera) and we have lost only one chicken in 5 years, and I think that might have been to the badger (who also snoops about every night much to the annoyance of pooch). When we get our small holding we´ll have a pig for sure, and a cow and a goat and loads and loads of alpacca


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hello ladies,

I've been away on hols and then totally preoccopied with other things so please forgive me for not having posted for ages. Obsessed with the Olympics too! 

Pooky - I just wanted to say huge belated congrats to you. I was thinking about you when I was away but we were in the Lake District and the signal was not good enough to access FF by phone! Anyway it sounds like you had a bit of a traumatic time, but I bet you are glad to be home. A colleague at work had twins a few months back (well, his wife did) - it was really difficult immediately before and for a few weeks after the birth, but they are all doing great now. Sorry your in-laws are a bit difficult. My sister's are too but I have to say my DH's mum is brilliant.

Rachel - I am so so sorry your last cycle did not work out. And especially about your dog. I have been there...it's horrible. 

Hulagirl - glad your bloods were all OK. When we did a cycle after our m/c we didn't forget about it exactly (I suppose you never do) but actually everything was focused on the cycle we were doing, and I wasn't wondering how many weeks I would have been etc. I think you should ask your clinic re: how the embryos are frozen. I think it is different in different places. We only have one in the freezer so the decision is made for us! But if I was allowed 2 I'd have 2 put back. As it is, when it is a blast (ours is a frozen blast) my clinic will only put 1 back unless you're 40 I think.

Hanna - sounds like things are moving along for you, which is fab!

Carey - nice to hear from you. My 20-week scan is on August 20th. Looking forward to it but sort of nervous as well! Can't believe Oliver is 6 months already.

Bell - I am glad Guilana is doing well, too!

Honor - hope you are OK and not too stressed. I don't agree with you about the 'Limpics - sorry - I love it! I was a bit sceptical at first but have been hooked since the opening ceremony. We're going to see athletics during the Paralympics - can't wait!

Sorry to see there was a bit of a set-to on here and I echo the messages of peace and love etc. I don't post that often so I guess I am sort of an outsider in a way, but like to check in and read and see how everyone is doing. Maisie - I hope you do not actually leave (you too, Bell) and Kat, it is nice to see you again. I agree having kids isn't the be-all and end-all. We had a plan B as well. And, if this one goes OK, we would love to have another, but at the moment I really just think it will be a case of an FET cycle with our frozen blast and then calling it a day. You have to get on with life. We have both given up so much (and not a lot compared to many of you), and spent so much. I also have a place in the London Marathon for 2014 and NOTHING will stop me running it. I have been waiting nearly 5 years (collecting race ballot rejections, and eventually after 5 in a row they let you in). So there won't be any FET until I have done it! I have run it before. It was one of the best days of my life and I want to do it for me.

Anyway, I'm just over 18 weeks now, with my 20-week scan in just under 2 weeks. I can feel the baby moving occasionally now (and see it, if I lie flat and am very patient). I'm going to pregnancy Pilates and do love it but feel a fraud as I do not really have that much of a bump and all the other ladies are much further along! Anyway, they will leave and new people will come. A couple of them are due very soon. 

Love to you all xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hey everyone 

have started to sell of all my baby stuff , it feels quite good the end of a very long and emotional chapter of my life, i hope that where ever you are on this journey that you are all able to make it to the end and find peace to move on with or without a child......  My grief now is not having my lovely Travis to comfort me, but he stuck around til the final day of the chapter bless him he is irreplaceable.  God bless fury friends.

Honor thinking of you , how are doing.  Stay in touch what the due date?? xx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well and had a good weekend .

After accidentially deleting my long post the other day, I haven't got round to re-doing it and now can't be bothered! I'll start afresh with this post and hopefully catch up with everyone properly again as and when people post !

Still no flat news  but we basically have to know/make a decision by this Friday, as my brother has offered to collect the baby things from storage on Sunday to bring up with him when he comes to visit my parents the following weekend. This is both very kind of him and potentially very useful for me if I am going to have to stay here for the birth. DH saw a flat yesterday that he said was good so we hope to hear some good news on that this week; just in case, he's also in the meantime going to try and get the contract for a (small and very expensive ) flat he saw last weekend (if it's still available...) to sign if necessary. Please keep everything crossed for us that we can get one of them !

I won't be too happy if by Friday we're still homeless in Germany and I'll have to therefore stay here , but I think just knowing where I'm going to be will be a relief, as it's very frustrating not knowing what's happening when. I know though that despite this "hiccup" I still have a lot to be thankful for (I could be pregnant and DH here but still out of work or be there with him already and not pregnant), so am trying not to get too stressed out about it .

Another reason I hadn't got round to re-doing my lost post is that I had been feeling very tired recently and it turns out I have mild anemia and so am on tablets for that now, which I think are helping.

Just trying to do my best to remain as calm and positive as possible and to enjoy some me-time before the mayhem!

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Honor - if you get the really horrible side effects of the iron tablets take spa tone instead. It's liquid iron and do much better on your tum than those evil tablets! I took it after having low iron levels and it helped keep me at a good level.


----------



## rachel1972

http://travis.pets-memories.com/index.php for all you animal lovers

/links


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well and had a good weekend . It's been very quiet again on here lately... missing you all .

*rachel*: Thanks for sharing your website for your dearly departed pooch - it's a lovely idea .

*AFM*: Well, the decision has now been made for us: I'll be having the baby in GB. Although incredibly sad that DH and I can't be together to experience the final weeks of my pregnancy and look forward to her birth together, and that it's likely he won't be able to be with me for it , it is a relief just to know where I'm going to be. Now I can start focusing on getting her here safe and sound, which is the most important thing .

Thinking of you all ,

xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds 

Just a quick one to say hello    and hope everyone is ok. I will do a longer post in the week.

xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Carey

Hi buds.

Mrs-ixy.  Hope ur scan went well today. Did u find out if ur having blue or pink??   xx

Honor. Sorry to hear DH wont be with u at the birth of ur baby girl. U must feel sad   will ur mum be with u instead? When is ur Edd?

Hope everyone else is well xxx


----------



## Honor77

Ohhhh... *mrs_ixy*, so sorry I missed your scan date yesterday  - not really been with it properly recently while waiting to find out where I was going to be! I hope baby is doing well and that you enjoyed the experience . Did you find out the sex?

*Hula*: Hope you're well . Any news on your FET ?

*Carey*: Hope you're well too, and little Oliver . I expect him and DH are now fully booked with the football and/or Paralympics !
EDD is 27 Sept.

*Pooky*: How are you getting on on your own with the Pookettes while DH is at work? I hope they're both doing well .

*maisie*: Still lurking? I hope so on the one hand, because I'd hate to see you go, but hope not on the other, if keeping a distance is the best way for you to cope with things at the moment . I SO wish there was something I could do for you . I know I'm probably not who you'd want to talk to right now, but do let me know any time you want to Skype - promise to be there for you to just listen if you want to vent and rant .

*rachel*: Are you busy getting Ethan all ready for starting his new school? When does he start? I hope when it comes around he'll settle in well .

*Hanna*: Any news from Finnland ?

*Curly*: How are things with you ? Hope work is going ok. Any tx plans?

*Bell*, *Zoe*, *Dee* and *Twinklie*: And how are our other Bud mamas and baby Buds? Hope you're all well ?

*Kat*, *Karen*, *squirrel* and *Lynn*: Miss you all . Perhaps you're still lurking from time to time... Really must get round to mailing you all soon though. Thinking of you, as always .

Love to all, especially anyone I've missed ,

xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Hello ladies,


I never thought it would be so hard to find the time to write... I use our ipad a lot, but only for reading as i usually only have one hand free, if that. Hardly ever on the computer any more. Taking care of a baby is so much harder than i thought, but of course i feel grateful every day.


Hope everyone has had a good summer! Seems like the thread has been pretty quiet lately, but good to see some of you still here.


Honor - cant believe you're almost due! Glad you made a decision, im sure it will be just fine even without dh.


Pooky - how are you and the twins?


Mrs ixy - hope scan was good!


Hugs to everyone else, thinking of you. 


Baby is stirring so here we go again...!


----------



## mrs_ixy

Hi Buds! 

Hope you're all ok. Just a quickie as I'm on my phone on the train!

Honor, shame you and DH may not be together at the birth, but at least you havs got that sorted. Sounds like it's tge most sensible thing and best for baby anywsy. 

Carey and Twinklie - aww thanks for asking about my scan. Pleased to say all was fine, and it's a girl! Glad we found out as somehow it has made it all a bit more real. 

Hope everyone is doing ok x x x


----------



## Pookychops

Wow Honor - cant believe you only have two weeks to go! Time flies. Epidurals are fabulous, episiotomies arent so try and avoid if possible!

Hi to everyone else. I hope some of you are still lurking .....

My little angles are now turning into little night devils and leaving me with very little sleep. I'm hoping it's a short phase as my mum goes back to Norfolk soon and I will have to drop the afternoon nap! I'm escaping to the hairdressers this afternoon to banish the grey. I'm sure mum will have them under control by the time I return.

Take care all xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Twinklie*: Good to hear from you ! 
I don't think you ever told us baby's name? Glad he's keeping you on your toes !

*mrs_ixy*: Fab scan news ! It definitely does make it seem more real knowing the sex.

*Pooky*: Hope your trip to the hairdressers was a success - both for you and your mum !


> only two weeks to go


?!! Do you know something I don't ?! It's 5 weeks . But, of course, she'll come as early or late as she's ready to.

*AFM*: A wintery feel in the air up north... Not that the Ned  seems to mind - he's still enjoying the great outdoors that is my parents' garden, but has been driving me mad with the number of butterflies and insects he keeps bringing in with him to play with, kill and eat! It looks like his attempts to do the same with a slug got the better of him - lovely looking pool of sick and dead slug in the corner of the room, which I'm sure my parents will be thrilled about . Such a shame I shouldn't go near cat sick "in my condition" !

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Oops honor -my sleep deprived brain was working on twin pregnancy length and not singleton!


----------



## rachel1972

Hi all 

Honor so sorry to see that your dh wont be at the birth possibly , lucky you have your parents.  Ethan starts school on the 7th , im not looking forward to it but fx.

lots of love  r xx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there.

MrsIxy: Glad to hear scan went well and great news on little MissIxy in there 
Honor: Not long noow! You must be getting excited, sorry to hear dh can't be there for the birth but I'm sure he'd want to which is most important 
Pooky: Keep seeing new pics of your gorgeous little ones    . Hope you are well 
Rachel: Hope you are well and Ethans school will be stress free for you both x
Twinklie: Hellooo! Hope all is well xx
Carey: Hope you are well xx
Everyone:   
afm: Been busy again. Mother in law came for a visit which was nice, no cooking or washing dishes for the whole week for me  No, she wasn't forced but she wanted to cook all the Romanian delicacies every day for her son of course, plus I was working almost every day so she didn't let me wash when I came home. 
I am glad she has gone now though, as she can be a bit of pain in the ar$e (am I allowed to say that??) as she kept re-arranging stuff that were perfectly fine as they were. Like, one morning I made a coffee for myself and could NOT find the sugar ANYWHERE, now, I knew I have just opened a kilo bag of sugar just a day before so it should be somewhere, no, nowhere to be found. Didn't want to wake her up that early so I settled to having a bitter coffee then. Just before I left she woke up and came to pour herself a cup. She then took this sweet tin from the cupboard, which from the sweets had gone and in their place was my sugar!!! How the **** was I supposed to know?? GGGGRRR! On top of that she snores like an industrial tracktor, so I didn't really get to sleep that well all week. And no, she wasn't even sleeping in the same room with us DD
Well, peace on earth now. I, on the other hand have been, well, not so well. I was suffering for a whole week with pain in my eye, and 3 days ago I woke up and looked in the mirror...  . I had a black eye!! I mean like, I have been punched. It is now turning green and yellow, but NOTHING or no one hit me, just a broken vein, said the doctor. I, of course put together my dizzy spells, broken veins and headache and decided I am about to die if not worse, so been in and out to see different doctors but they all said it wasn't my time yet   
So, I have been to different makeup counters daily, 'to look for a nice cover thing' and let them put it on my eye before I go to work, then  said 'nah, not sure if I like that' and left without buying a thing. I am now running out of places to got and the eye is sort of ugly yellow, but luckily I got at least wknd off so hopefully it'll be gone by then  
So, that's my story  
Kisses and hugs to you all 
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Carey

Mrs ixy - yay on a girl... have u brought anything pink yet? Xx
Honor - into september... not long till u meet ur baby xx
Pooky - glad ur ok & twinnies r ok too. Xx

Hello to everyone else

Xxxxx


----------



## Big hat

A quick little hi to you all..... 

Honor - gosh, time is nearly up until you get to meet your little one.  I'm sure it's all for the best that you are here and not having to try and settle into a new home and sort out a hospital, doctor, midwife etc.  Also, I'm sure your mum is beyond thrilled that she will be with you at the birth before you leave her and move away.  Maybe it's all as it should be  . xx

Rachel - keeping fingers crossed for Ethan settling into school - hope you are ok sweetie  . xx

Pooky - hope your little darling devils are keeping that smile on your face, even though you are exhausted. xx

Maisie - seen on ** that you had your anniversary - bizarrely mine was the same weekend.  I'd actually forgot and we'd arranged to see family that night, so our romantic dinner was for 5 of us, and we picked up the bill!!!!!  

Hanna - I do keep expecting to see a bfp post from you - I don't know why - hope maybe  . xx

Mrs_Ixy - glad your scan went well, and all is good with your little girl. xx

Hi Carey, Twinklie , Hulagirl et al - glad to hear all is ok. xx

Afm - no, Honor, no news of tx with me.  We've had to buy a new car and do some repairs on the house (not that they will give me fond memories when I get to old age, or joy on the way but, their a necessity, and money only goes so far...).  All is well though, my job is ticking along, and my arthritic old dog still manages to jump and run and amuse us.....Take care me darlin's, I'll keep lurking from time to time.
hugs

Curlyone
xx


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## rachel1972

hi all 

nice to hear from you curlyone.

Hana yes you are allowed your M I L sounds like the house guest you dont need all the time.  HOpe your eye gets better soon.

afm doing a 10 day stint without dh he is working over the weekend. so very quiet and dull.

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Hi all,
3G a bit iffy so may be short and sweet.

MrsIxy - fab news that little Miss Ixy is doing good.
Hanna - you MiL talk made me shudder at the memory if my summer lol.
Pooky - my pooch is so jealous of our chicks so i can imagine what  2 babies does for furbaby jealousy.
Curly - pleased your job is keeping you busy. You sound chirpy 
Carey  - hello 
Honor -  i bet your Mum is chuffed to bits about you being stuck in the uk. Its kind of Nice to let her be part of things before you move. Like Curly says, maybe this is how its meant to be.
Twinkle - hej 
Hula - hello to you too 
Rachel - i hope ethan gets on ok. Maybe school will be better than nursery and have more qualified support for him.

Not sure what to say about me really. Karen is coming for a few vinos this weekend and i can't wait. Sadly we'll have to drink squirrels share too as she is stuck at work ;-) I've been really sick again (hence ignoring all emails - sorry) but today I'm feeling slightly better. I think the big hike today helped, certainly tired out the pooch. I've had to cancel a wedding trip as i didn't get permisjon to travel alone :-( . Onwards and upwards though. I have 7 chicks to care for and about 30 kg of honey to put into jars as well as a karen to entertain for a weekend. I don't have time for weddings anyway lol.

Love to you all,
Katxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Sorry to hear that Kat hope the weekend is a good tonic.x


----------



## Big hat

Kat, me lovely, sorry you've not had too good a time.  I'm sure seeing Karen will be just the tonic you need (at the moment).  Hope you have a fabulous weekend with her, your chicks and your honey  .  Lots of love

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Nordickat

lol, that was a post to you guys and not a post about me. I'm OK. I'm like one of those annoying powerballs that always bounce back although not always in the direction you expect, and nor can you predict how many windows get smashed in the process


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well . Sorry I've been AWOL for a few days - have been checking the thread but too lazy to post . No news as yet this end, either on flat or baby, but if one more person (I know very innocently...) says "at long last" are my parents going to be grandparents, there may well be news of an assault ! My standard response is "not as long as some people have had to wait to be parents" - wouldn't be half as bad if my parents didn't then go and agree, rather than shrug off or glace over . Sorry, but DH and I wanted a baby for us to be parents, not just in order to make either set of our parents grandparents. Really pi**es me off .

*rachel*: Not long now til Ethan's first day at school... I'm sure you must be feeling a whole mixture of emotions as it approaches. As *Kat* says, you may well find that he has much better support at school than he has had at nursery. I hope it works out well for both of you .
How are you getting on without DH? When is he due back? Any further decisions on his job ?

*Hanna*: Hope you're enjoying your MIL-free home ! Must have been nice to have the extra help around the house, especially when you were at work, but it can still get a bit much, can't it?! Perhaps you could return the "favour" and rearrange her kitchen for her next time you're there ?!
How freaky about your eye ! Hope it's clearing up well, and glad it's nothing serious.
Yes, not long now - I'm feeling very calm about it all, not sure how long that will last!

*Carey*: ! Hope you're well . Can't be long now until you can have your husband and little boy back from the clutches of televised sporting events !

*Curly*: Glad all is well with you and that your job is going well . Sorry about all the expensive replacements and repairs recently needed - life always has a habit of getting in the way of plans . Glad to hear pooch is keeping you amused! Neddy is also amusing with his various antics!

*Kat*: Hope you had fun with Karen, and she wasn't too much of a demanding guest ! If I hadn't been so lazy at posting, I had wanted to wish you a lovely weekend together before her arrival, and to say to send her my love... What did you get up to? Or shouldn't I ask ?!

Love to everyone else ,

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor - its not too late. Karen was supposed to be coming tomorrow but the rotten Cabin crew are selfishly on strike. They clearly have no clue about what is important in life if they feel the can deprive us like that! All is well though and our cake and vino fest has just been delayed a week so i Will send your love. I understand the whole grandparents thing and I'm pretty sure my Mum thinks i am being selfish by shopping tx. She seems to have forgotten how lucky she is to have 2 daughters and takes it as a personal insult that neither of us are doing our duty. Although maybe she is just sick of all the questions she gets from all of her grandparenty friends. Who knows.

Hi everyone else xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well and had good weekends . Still no flat or baby news from me...

*Kat*: How was your weekend with Karen? Hope you had fun !

*Hula*: Any news from you on your FET ?

*maisie*: Are you still lurking? Hope you're doing ok and are settling into your new home well .

*rachel*: How are you ?
How did Ethan's first day at school go?

*Pooky*: How are you and the Pookettes? Hope you're settling into a routine with them and enjoying being a mama .

*Hanna*: Any news from Finland ?

*mrs_Ixy*: Hope you and Little Miss Ixy are well .

 to everyone else and  for all,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi all 

honor is first day went well and he went back so hopefully it the right school for him.  How are you doing.  Any progress on flats.  My dh still doesnt know about is job being secure and i think he doest really mind being away from us in the week.  

How is everyone doing ?  

afm joined a new gym no more excuses with tx etc have been twice really enjoying it so far even though i had awful headache on the first day.

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *rachel*,

That's great that Ethan enjoyed his first day at school and was happy to go back again .

No, no progress on flats .

How are you coping with DH away during the week? Hope it's not too difficult...

Good on you joining a gym!

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi everyone 

no one using this to share there thoughts anymore?? Sad after we all came to meet up from so far a field.

well i need to tell you that the whole ivf thing is ongoing as i just found out that my friend of 29 yrs is pregnant and she didnt tell cos i was/had the ivf in july she is 3 months gone.  I am so sad that she didnt share the biggest thing to ever happen to her sooner maybe we arent close at all 

well anyone lurking out there share with us would love to know how you are all doing after nearly a year!!

bye for now xx


----------



## Nordickat

Rachel don't feel hurt by your friends actions. Her heart was in the right place but she just didn't want to upset you. My SiL didn't tell us she was pg until her baby was 6 weeks old!!! I was so upset but I've had to forgive her and tell myself she meant well. She was announcing her pg when I was announcing my mc so couldn't add to my pain. You must be close friends or she wouldn't have tried to protect you like that.

AFM, too much vino with Karen last night ;-)


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds, just a very quick one: baby arrived yesterday afternoon, 6lb 14, by c-section in end, after planned water birth not poss due to complications with position of baby. DH got here late last night Full name to be decided today, but hoping DH still agreeing to Mathilde as first name!

Xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Big congrats!!!


----------



## ma-me28

honor congrats on the safe arrival of your baby,glad dh is now with you, looking forward to hearing whatever name you both decide on.
rachel i know how you feel but as kat said its  because they care, hope ethan is settling well at school
kat its nice to have you back hun.
a big hello to everyone else

afm i had in laws stay for 7 weeks so hadnt been on here much, had to cancel original appointment for getting tubes checked as af decided to arrive the day before! but have new date for 17th of oct so will know more then.


----------



## Hulagirl

Evening buds hope everyone is well  

Sorry i havent been on for a while, i have lurked a couple of times to see whats been going on.

Honor - Congratulations, lovely news!! Hope you can come back on soon and tell us more, lovely name i hope DH still agrees, Im glad he is with you now. Hope you arent too sore and that you recover from your c-section soon.

Kat - sounds like you have been busy with your chickens and bees - not sure i would be able to eat something i had looked after though. When are you going to get your small holding? Alpacas are cool. Hope you had a good time with Karen. 

Mrs Ixy - glad all is ok with you, it feels like your pregnancy is whizzing along, congrats on team pink! Lake District is lovely - not been for a few years as its quite far and the last time we came back it took about 10 hours as the traffic and weather was horrific. Would really like to go again sometime.

Rachel -  im sorry you are without your dear travis...losing pets is so hard but i think dogs are so loyal its even harder to lose them. The way they look at you too - its like they know more than they let on too. We have cats and as lovely as they are if they dont want to sit on your lap or be stroked they let you know soon enough!  Good to hear you are moving on and seeling your baby stuff, sounds like its a good move. Glad to hear Ethans new school is going well, long may it continue! Good for you joining the gym too  - its great when you start to get into it, just have to try and keep it up. Sorry to hear your good friend didnt share her news with you but maybe because she is a good friend she wanted to protect you??

Pooky - hows it all going with you ?? Are the twins in more of a routine now and giving you some more rest?

Hanna - cant  believe your MIL moed things around in your flat - she probably only thinks shes being helpful but hopefully she hasnt moved too much! Hope your eye is better now, how very strange how it happened.

Curly - how you doing? hope you havent had anymore unexpected expenses....   its annoying when you have a run of bad luck with boring things going wrong.

Ma-me - wow 7 weeks with the inlaws staying! Great you have a date now for investigations, another step further along.

Hi carey, twinklie, bell, karen, squirrel, maisie and anyone else i havent mentioned (sorry)

AFM - i bought a bike today, its rather lovely and i cant wait to get out on it. Its very retro looking and v cool.  Needs some bits tightening up on it, tyres pumping up and i need to get a helmet too. Hopefully i can have a go tomorrow. Ive threatened to get a basket for the front but DH looked horrified   
Ive been to acupuncture today and im in the part way through my FET so i will keep you posted on progress. I must say it def feels better on my body than a full cycle but i havent had any scans yet to see if the drugs are doing what they are supposed to do but fingers crossed everything is happening as it should!  Transfer should be in a few weeks all being well then back to the dreaded 2 ww!  Still undecided about how many embies to put back but we have an appointment next week so will discuss then, have to have everything crossed that the embies survive thawing as sadly i have seen on here that its a possibility that they wont.
Have stepped up the job hunting a little and may have an interview next week.

Anyway buds, hope you are all having a nice weekend. Looks like it should be another nice day in London tomorrow so fingers crossed for a few good days before autumn and dark nights set in.
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

HONOR - Hurrahhhhhhh!     You must feel like all of your christmasses have arrived at once - DB, DH and mummy all together. xxx

Hula - good look with your FET.  Will keep my fingers-crossed for a successful defrost    

Kat - hope you and Karen have had a fantastic weekend - sometimes a wine sodden weekend is what is required  . xxx hugs to you both. xx

Rachel - Bless  .  I think the others are right, you do seem to have a good friend there, to put your feelings right up there with her happiness.  Hang on to her, she sounds like  good one. Hope Ethan is doing ok. xxx

Twinklie - hope all ok with you. xx

ma-me - sounds like things are progressing. Good luck.

Hi to everyone else. xx

Afm - well, after thinking it was all over and Dh had moved on to planning holidays and work on the house etc, a conversation was finally had, and it turns out he thought that for me it was all over.  It looks like we may be going to try for tx sometime in the new year.  Mind you, this all depends how long my work goes on for, and what comes next, and if we have any more other annoying costly unexpected expenses hit the budget.  So, not going to twirling round the house doing a fandango just yet......

hugs all

Curlyone
xx


----------



## 1972

Hi everyone. 

Just popped on to say a massive congratulations to Honor!!!!       . Look forward to hearing a name and pics xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

HONOR!! BIG CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY GIRL!!            
Hi everyone!
Rachel- Your friend didn't want to upset you, I'm sure that is the only reason she didn't tell you. Everyone feels differently on the pregnancy announcements we keep getting, there are so many people who get upset about them and she probably has heard/read about it? Try not to be upset, she meant well xxx
Kat- I'm sure you and Karen had a fabulous time, I'm glad she finally did get there even though the strikes tried to ruin your weekend xxx
afm. Eye healed, but before it did, it turned to very many shades of blue, red, green and finally yellow. It was really strange! 
And after it did, another problem arrived; I was washing the dishes one afternoon and suddenly got horrendous abdominal pains, I was doubled up sweating in pain, which was really scary. I thought it was the good old constipation so didn't go to doctor but went and bought constipation remedies from pharmacy... 3 days later the pain was still there and I found it hard to even sit so sunday after work I went to A&E. TEN hours, 5 doctors and 2 nurses later, they first thought it was gallstones, but eventually sent me to gynecologist for an ultrasound and he found the cause to be that I had 2 cysts in my ovaries (I knew I had them) but that they had both burst and that somehow triggered acute bacterial infection in my ovaries and womb. When does this all end, it's one thing after another for me  ?!?
So now I'm on 2 courses of antibiotics which cause me massive headache and wind  and the problem with wind is the fact that my DH thinks women are not allowed to fart and therefore has previously said he'll divorce me if I ever fart near him  
He has appointment to give his semen sample on wed and then on monday it is our first consultation here. I'm rather excited but trying not to get my hopes up at the same time. 
Rachel is right, this thread has gone rather quiet, I think it is because so many of our group have finally become mum's and it is so hard not to share your joy incase it upsets someone. Why should anyone not show their joy here, there is no reason for anyone to feel guilty for achieving their dream. We came here to support each other, surely it was supposed to be in good and bad... But for the same reason Rachel's friend didn't share her joy, our groups mums tend to go quiet here, not to mention all the time their new babies are taking... Just a random thought... 
I am very very happy for all the mums here and would love to hear from you all more often xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

I heard a rumour we were all aunties again    Huge congratulations Honor and welcome to the world baby   

Hanna - what a nightmare few weeks you´ve had. You are certainly due some good luck now   

Hula - the small holding is very much a long term plan now   . DH has started to do the lottery to help things along. Does that sounds like desperation to you?    Fingers crossed for the next few weeks for you.

Ma-me - i feel the need to bow down to your obvious superhero status! 7 weeks     . 7 days is about 6 days to long for me.

Hi everyone else. I don´t read much, or post, so I´m very guilty of slowing the thread down. Its not due to any spite or not wanting to hear how you are all getting on. Its due to not having much time right now and also the fact that trying to move on to a child free life and surrounding yourself with tx news don´t really go together. I do miss you all and I´m pretty sure that I´ll be back one day. I hope you all understand, but its a bit counter productive to think of none tx things all day and then fill your head with FF very evening. Sends me a bit   . I do care though and I´m truly delighted for the mummies we have and hope we get a few more yet   .

Way more important than that waffle though is that Karen and I had a fab time. My poor DH is in shock though   , and the wine rack is empty and several kg have been gained   . Just what the Dr ordered! I am whacked though and probably have to go and be extra nice to my poor long suffering DH, his banging head and his bleeding ears. I think he is pleased we didn´t get pg ......... what if it had been a girl and talked as much as we did ..............  


until next time buds   ......


----------



## Big hat

What a lovely phrase Kat, there is something very lovely about being 'aunties' of FF babies - yup, that works for me!!! Am so pleased you had a good weekend.  I'm sure your DH actually had a little warm feeling haring all your chatter and laughter. xx

Hanna - ooo, good to hear all moving on - the cysts bit sucks but, at least it is all being sorted, DH doing his sperm sample sounds like it has focussed his mind too  .

So, Honor - thank you for making us aunties again, and hugs to all other buds.


xxx


----------



## Carey

Honor so so happy to hear ur baby girl has arrived safely... congrats     hope u & DH aree enjoying every second xx

Hanna sorry to hear uve been poorly. So glad u r on the mend & good news on ur tx starting soon xx

Karen & kat glad u had a lovely meet up & eat & drank loys of goodies   xx

Rachel how ur lb getting on? Hope ur well xx

Mame great u have a new date for test. Fingers crossed u get some answers xx

Hello to curly, twinklie, dee & all u other lovely buds.

Big hugs from me & Oliver xxx


----------



## mrs_ixy

I'm on my phone so sorry for the brevity. I just wanted to say HUGE congrats to Honor. I've seen the pics and she is so gorgeous. You must both be so proud. What fabulous news. 

I also just wanted to say good luck to Hula with the FET. Let us know how you are getting on. It's good that it's not as harsh on the body as a fresh cycle.

AFM, am 24 weeks now, things seem to be ticking along ok (touch wood), and I get extra scans and consultant care just cos it was IVF. We've just got lots of clothes cheap from my sis so that makes it feel a bit more real. X x x


----------



## Pookychops

Hello,

Sorry not been about - I don't get too much time at the moment but I do post on ** and am becoming one of those annoying people who posts loads of pics of their babies!

Congratulations to Honor! How are the hormones? Are you still crying at anything and everything? Ihope you get to move to germanynsoon so that you can be a proper family. But I hope your mum is helping out in the meantime.

Hulagirl - fingers crossed for you for your FET. The most nerve wracking bit for me was waiting to see what eggs had defrosted on the morning and of course the two week wait... Good luck!

Ma-me - I'd kill my inlaws if they were here for seven weeks! Speaking of which the mother inlaw is due round shortly and her gaining confidence in the grandchildren lessons will continue! We are going for a walk in the park. 

Maisie - big hugs for Maisie cat. I have to say that you amaze me with how much you pack into your life. I wish I had as much get up and go as you do. I love seeing the pics of the house - it has taken us five years to do what you have done in such a short while.

Hanna - hope you get everything sorted soon, it must feel like its one thing after another for you lately.

Hello and hugs to everyone else. I'm a bit too tired to do too many personals but I am thinking of you all and hoping that you are all happy in whatever you are doing. 

We are all doing well, babies are growing and starting to get folds of fat and look like proper babies now. They are on four hour cycles and feed in tandem. I'm still working on them sleeping st the same time during the day so that I can have some more me time. Getting there though and they are doing so well at ten weeks. At the moment Edward is asleep in his baby bjorn rocker (very good and flat pack for travel), alexa is asleep on one of the Moses baskets and Bessie cat in the other next to her  Archie cat is asleep in the nursery - so all of my babies are tucked up and sleepy  not sure how long for though.......

I'm looking forward to beginning of October as heading home to Norfolk for a week and mum is going to do the night shifts! I'm so lucky and so looking forward to re setting on the sleep front. Ma-me and carey is there scope to meet up? I'll be up there from the 8th to the Sunday.


----------



## Pookychops

Oh my - the most amazing fatty noises are coming from the Moses basket - I hope Alexa hasn't exploded - it stinks though and I'm on the other side of the room!


----------



## rachel1972

Congratulations to Honor hope you are ok and going home soon.  

Thanks for all your reassuring words.  Glad to hear everyone is progressing in their lives. 

Good luck Hula hope its you time!

afm E has had a good start to his school in general couple of meltdowns but no phone calls from the school.  He only does till 12.30 for now. Still missing Travis sooo much but not feeling as guilt ridden as i was.  

love to all xxx


----------



## ma-me28

pooky have seen the photos lol and they are lovely, have fun with your walk in the park, having in laws has been fine my fil did diy jobs for us and mil enjoys doing my pet hate ironing lol im free for meet up dont have much of social calendar. 
mrs ixy 24 weeks now seems to be going fast and im sure theres still plenty more shopping to be had.
Rachel glad E is doing ok. x 
hanna glad things are progressing for you hun.x
hula gl for fet.x
big hugs to anyone ive missed.


----------



## rachel1972

spoke to soon E sent home and cant go tomorrow?


----------



## rachel1972

and to top it of got chest infection on antibiotics


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi buds
Quick one from me. Hope you are all well and thanks for the good luck wishes for my fet.
Kat - I love your term for us - FF Aunties!  Nothing like a good booze up and letting your hair down. Glad you had a good one with Karen, reckon your DH loved it really...my DH always pretends hes not listening to girly conversations ha ha
Hanna - hope you are feeling better soon, hopefully this will be the last thing and the fact the cysts have burst and on way to healing will put you in good stead for a new cycle - hope DH swimmers are good too!  Oh you made me crack up about DH saying if you fart near him lol
Rachel - sorry Ethan has been sent home- what happened? Hope chest infection clears up soon.
Ma-me - nice of your inlaws to do lots of jobs for you, thats really nice of them.
Pooky - glad all going well with you and your babes - love a fatty baby all squidgy. Made me lol about the smell coming from the moses basket and all your babies asleep.
Curly - really hope you can do another cycle - got everything crossed for you..
Hi carey , hope you and oliver are well.
Hi Maisie - how are you?? 
Honor - pics of little Mathilde are gorgeous,hope all is going well.  Hopefully everything will now sort itself out and you can be a little family together
Mrs ixy - 24 weeks already!wow thats going quick!

hi to anyone lurking - dee, twinklie, karen, squirrel,lynn and anyone else ive missed
AFM - got a scan tomorrow and from then will be working out when defrost will be and transfer. will keep you posted. Also got some job interviews coming up -shame its all happening around the same time.
off to do ironing then off to bed im shattered
night buds, love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Hula - fingers crossed for you tomorrow!  How exciting! Good luck sweetie.  xx

Rachel - bless  .  thinking of you. xxx

hugs

Curlyone
xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

So sorry I haven't posted for a while... Been busy settling in with baby, few probs with weight loss/feeding but otherwise all good . DH got here late night she was born so missed birth but at least same day!

Hope people whose email addresses I had didn't mind me sending through pics on joint mail announcement. Happy to send to anyone who wants to see any (PM me).

Hopefully back on track soon to get up to speed with you all again. Hope everyone ok. Special hugs to all baby M's favourite aunties!

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there,
Honor- Glad you are settling in well. I'm sure the weight will soon start climbing. My sister's little boy was only 2680g when  born and in the first day lost another 300g, but a week later was 2990g and piling on the pounds steadily now. (Wouldn't it be nice if we could lose our weight as quickly as they put it on? D)
Rachel-  It seems to be one thing after another for you too. Keep strong there xx
Curly- I hope you can do another cycle soon xx
Hula- How did the scan go? And the interviews?
everyone:  
afm. Feeling much better already, finished my antibiotics thursday so celebrated with a cider on saturday (just one though )
Been to our first consultation here yesterday and we are now in the queue for IVF. Got the meds prescriptions already,must pay for the meds though, around 600 euros  But I suppose it could be worse, and if this doesn't work, on the second try the meds are free. Will be on synarela 200 micrograms and menopur 1200 IU. Starting with the pill this cycle as there was small signs of reaccuring endometriosis so the pill should keep it away. The actual IVF is early next year, the queue is around 4 months but I am very excited to start it. This time I know what's going to happen and I trust the docs here more than at my clinic before so I am much more positive 
I got a new permanent contract in a big department store and will be signing the contract today, though the job starts 1.12. as I'm still under contract in my current job, so all is looking rather well atm. Just must remember, can't show pregnancy until the probation period is over, I'm sure they'd find a reason to let me go if they knew D
Take care all xx


----------



## rachel1972

hi ladies

great news hanna hope it all goes to plan for you, you deserve it.  xx

honor , i think it is normal for babies to loose weight in the first few weeks but im sure you know all about it , keep on BF if you can and dont be told otherwise.  MY sister works for leleache league they offer support services if you are needing it.  Glad to hear dh was there soon after birth. xx

afm been banging my head on a brick wall for a week will update you when i stop. 

Hope everyone else is doing well x


----------



## Carey

Hiya Buds. 

Just thought id drop by & say Hi. Hope ur all well.

We r ok. Oliver will be 7mths old tomorrow  

Pooky - good to hear from u, Mel had txt me saying u were visiting in Oct so hopefully  
I'll be free to join u   xx

Honor - how u finding motherhood? So glad DH made it to u in the evening of the birth. Xx

Love to u all xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds ,

How is everyone? Sorry I don't have time to read back very far and catch up properly...

*Hanna*: Glad you're feeling better and are now on the waiting list for IVF - hope everything falls into place for starting your cycle early next year, and, of course, your much deserved BFP .
Great news on the work front too ! Did you sign the contract as planned?
Yes, baby's started putting on above and beyond her birth weight, so we're pleased .

*rachel*: Dare I ask how things are with you ? I hope whatever's up can be quickly and easily sorted . In the meantime, do you have any more meditation sessions coming up?
Thanks for the words of encouragement . I think we're getting there - could just do with her feeding longer and less often now, but I'm sure it'll come in time.

*Carey*:  to you too! I can't believe where the time has gone and that Oliver is already 7 months !
Ohhh - you're planning a mini Cheesecake Fest with *Pooky* and *Mel*? Hope your plans to meet come to fruit and you have a fab time !

So sorry I haven't done more personals this time round .

 to all,

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

evening all 
honor am really pleased baby is putting on weight now.x
hanna what great news on the job front you start on my birthday lol, and thats fab about your next cycle being sorted for the new year.
carey hiya we will hopefully meet up soon lol.x
rachel hows things with you hun.x
hi to anyone else ive missed.x


----------



## Big hat

hello my lovely ladies,

Honor - I hope motherhood is treating you well sweetie. xx

Hanna - oo, me darlin' all sounds so exciting with you - I have high hopes. xx

Rachel  darling, you will get there - please stop banging your head

Hula - any news?

Pooky - how's it going?

Hugs to all 

Curlyone
xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi curlyone 

Good to hear from you 

All is good thanks. I'm having to get strict with dh and his goings out. He deserted us for the pub twice last week and for football on Saturday. I need him around to help me out! I love my babies dearly but I have to take breaks from them especially when I've been running on three hours sleep a night for a few days! Mother in law training seems to be going ok. She likes them a lot more now they smile and interact with you. Edward has her blood type too and so she feels that she can bond with him  

I hope you get the chance to go for treatment again soon. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you don't have to fork out for anything else expensive and that the work fairy comes your way with good contracts. How's the pooch? Is he enjoying doggy day care?

Hi to everyone else - thinking of you 

Pooky xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds ,

Hope this post finds you all well .

*mame*: What's new with you ? 
Have you arranged a date for your mini Cheesecake Fest yet? I think such an occassion calls for the consumption of mini cheesecakes  !

*Curly*: And what's the state of play with you right now in terms of jobs, tx and broken appliances ?
Motherhood is so far, so good . It's all a huge learning curve but we're getting there!

*Pooky*: Oh no, naughty DH . I hope he falls into line soon and gives you some more support. 
Glad MIL is doing well in her baby training ! Perhaps DH has noticed this too and therefore thinks that gets him off the hook a bit?

*rachel*: How are things with you? Hope your head is in a better place .

 to all,

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh we have a mini cheesecake get together on Saturday in Norwich  I'm looking forward to it but will be leaving the twins at home with their daddy so I can get bit of shopping in beforehand! Last time I took the twins shopping I had to breast feed Edward in boots and then change him in the buggy in next! My mum then drove into a post as we were leaving the car park so all in all it was a very eventful shopping trip!

I'm at my mums this week and glad to have some help. I've also been catching up with family and some old friends who I haven't seen in years!

Hope you are all well.

Pooky xxx


----------



## ma-me28

hi all
honor hows things are you getting yourself in more of a routine now.x
rachel hope you are doing ok.
hanna not long for new job now.
curlyone hows things with you.x
hello to anyone ive missed.
as pooky has mentioned we have a mini cheesecake meeting with carey.

afm where do i start, well i am now a student its been 12yrs since i last studied so brain works a bit slower lol, i have had my hsg done tubes are fine so am now on metformin and clomid starts on my next cycle so fingers crossed, and to top everything off my works are planning on making us redundant in january unless we can find financial backing from elsewhere. x


----------



## Pookychops

Mini cheesecake fest went well  it was more of a cookie dough and ice cream fest in the end


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds ,

How are you all? It's been very quiet on here recently, missing you all and your posts .

*ma-me* and *Pooky*: Glad you enjoyed your mini cheesecake fest, even if you did cheat on cheesecake with cookie dough and icecream  ! Did *Carey* join you in the end? Wish I was around your neck of the woods to have been able to have met up too...

*ma-me*: Great news that your tubes are all clear . I'll be keeping everything crossed that the Metformin and Clomid work their magic for you  .
Sorry to hear about the planned redundancies at work - that sucks . What is it you do?
What are you studying? Must be a shock to the system after so long, but am sure you'll be a star student .

*Pooky* *Super Mum* !

*mrs_ixy*: How are you and Little Miss Ixy doing? Hope all's going well .

*Hanna*: Where are you at with your planned tx now? 
Have you started your new job? If so, I hope it's going well!
Is it snowing already in Finland ?! How cool that you live so close to ! My dream is to go to Santa's Village in Finland - in fact, I was saying to *Kat* not all that long ago that we should have a Cheesecake Gang trip to visit Santa ! I also have to admit to the rather sad fact that I have the Santa's Office webcam bookmarked  !

*Kat*: How are you; still lurking ? Didn't you have some kind of madcap (to couch potatoes like me, that is !) holiday planned?
Hope Pooch, and DH, of course!, are well .

*Karen*, *squirrel*, *maisie* and *Lynn*: Hope you're all still lurking too - missing you all, you're all always in my thoughts .

*Curly*: How's you ? Any news your end?

*Rachel*: Still there? I hope things have calmed down with you and you're feeling brighter again .

*Carey*, *Bell*, *Twinklie*, *Zoe*, *Dee*: And in case you're also still lurking, a big ! Hope you and your littles ones are all doing well .

Sorry and  to anyone I've missed .

*AFM*: Well, still homeless in told-you-so Germany and so still in the UK . In a way that's a good thing, because I'd rather be here than there in general, and it's been great having family and friends around, keeping baby M and me busy! On the other hand though, it's a bad thing, as I'm missing DH sooooo much, hating him having to miss out on baby M and not being happy where he is . He's admitted to told-you-so Germany not being all that and to missing the UK and wanting to be back here. That bodes well for the future  but for now he's going to have to stick it out and we'll just have to keep everything crossed that a flat comes up for us soon so we can be together again as soon as possible     .

xxx


----------



## ma-me28

evening all
honor hope your living arrangements can be sorted soon so you can all be together.x we did have a lovely lunch unforetunately they didnt have cheesecake hence the cookie dough, and yes carey did manage to make it. with regards to work i am nursery team leader and setting senco, im currently doing my level 4 and am getting through work slowly lol, and hopefully it looks like we may have a lifeline with keeping nursery open, but no definate news yet.x and it would have been nice if you were closer aswell.
pooky it was lovely to finally put a face to a name and glad you all arrived home safely, hopefully we can do it again in december.x
rachel hope all is going well with you and ethans school.x
hanna hope you are doing ok, are you all set for starting new job soon.x
carey it was lovely seeing you and oliver on saturday also he is growing so fast bless him.x
big hello and hugs to everyone else ive missed.x


----------



## Gladys07

Hello Ladies

I know I am crap but I don't get any computer time at all my days of personal emails are over. I don't have any family and Sams are an hour and a half away so free time even to go the dentist is zero!  LOL xx

I endeavour to make time each week to cathc up and I had to make the time tonight to come on here and say that I can't believe it is almost a year that I met your lovely ladies and what a fab day it was I will always treasure our virtual friendship in my heart forever. So even if I am not on here please believe I think of you all often.

I have skimmed a few pages but please accept my apolgies if I have missed anything or anyone.

Honor - How are you and Little M doing?  I hope you get to see DH soon and sort living arrangements xx
Pooky - How the very cute pookettes?  Sounds like you are doing a great job.  I am still trying to reign OH in it is like he has gone through a midlife crisis!
Ma me - Student - woohoo look at you. If you don't get financial bckingwill you get made redundant?  Good luck in cycyle.  .. How is Metformin helping you out of interest?
Hanna - Good luck in new job and IVF date x
Curlyone- I hope you are taking it a bit slower at work and enjoy before your next cycle.  My FF pregnancy group call ourselves internet Aunties to one of the girls babies who is very ill and was born early .. too long to go into but he is fighting for his life and we set him a taggie embroderied with Love from your internet aunties.
Hula  - How did the FET go?
Carey - wow Oliver is 7 mths, xx grow up so fast. How is Angela?
Mrs Ixy - How are you?
Rachel - Hope the brickwall has disappeared x
Maisemoo - hello hon how are things?
Bell - kisses to you and little one.
Twinklie , Zoe hello

Karen and Kat _ have you bought a vineyard?  xx

AFM - Eventful year so far 3 funerals, one a childhood friend which is was very sad, whole dept got made redundant same week as his passing but I have decided to take a job there rather than redundancy which is less stressful than job i had but same level etc.  Dad situation not got any better.  Stanley is 8 months old next week and have 7 teeth and crawling.  A friend of mine who had 3 failed attempts of IVF gave up and was planning there new adventures holidays, buying a boat etc and she had a surprise natural at 43.. My Aunt from US (who is like sister) battled breast cancer  and was given the ok to come see me she went home on Monday after spending 2 weeks, lovely to see her and feel quite sad this week as it has really magnified that I don't have ny family and miss my mum.  But all in all life is good but I am still not thin ....lol...


Love to you all and I promise not to stay away so long if you will still have me x


----------



## Carey

Ladies,

How is everyone? Big Big   to you all  

Thought i would drop by & have a catch up on posts whilst i had the laptop out.

Racheal - How is E now after his cheast infection, hopefully happy & well again   x

Gladys07 - Good to hear from you, sounds as though youve had a tough time lately, sorry to read that   Wow stanley has 7 teeth  & crawling, well done him   Oliver has no teeth as yet but is now sitting & gaining weight nicely  I believe Angela is ok thanks, we havent seen them for months been so busy   xx

Honnor - Hope ur ok & not letting the house situatin get you down hun. How is Baby M? Good i hope   I did meet up with Pooky & Ma-me & it was rally good to see them. We ate yummy pizza & like the girls said cookie & ice cream   Would be so nice to have you join us if you ever come our way   xx

Ma-me - Really good to see you hun, you looked really well   so glad your tube tests went well & hopefully the tablets will work their magic       xx

Pooky - lovely to meet you   Hope u & the twins are ok? Hope Daddy coped ok looking after them   Be good to see you again Dec time xx

Curlyone - Hope you are ok xx

Hannushka - Hope you are ok now? Have you heard anymore about your nxt treatment, climbing the list i hope   Hows the new job going? xx

AFM - All is good here   We have just heard of a new ivf clinic opening about 4 miles away from us in Wymondham   it is going to be a sister clinic to where we had our first cycle Bourn Hall. So hope that when we do decide to do our FET we can maybe have the option of having it at the new clinic.
OMG - Ive just seen the time 10 past midnight!!!! best be off to bed before Oliver wakes for a feed.

As always sending you all much love &   xxxxxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Hello  I have to confess to being a terrible buddy these days and not lurking even - sorry. I happened to see Dee had posted so thought it was time to check on you all. Glad to see all you mummies and babies are doing great and i hope your clean shiney tubes speed things along ma-me.

I feel like i live in some parallel universe so remote from all yours which i guess is why i don't read much now, our lives are so far apart. 

There is one huge advantage to stopping tx, and thats the thousands of spare pounds we have to spend on fun instead of heartache ..... wish we had worked that one out a few years earlier lol. Madcap trip delayed a year Honor as it takes planning that none of us had time for this year. Instead we are heading to the matterhorn for some high altitude snowfun and hiking in the azores before that. About to make our fortune selling to ridiculous amount of honey we have. And i had a huge breakthrough today and after 10 days our new chicks have finally worked out not only how to exit through the door, but also how to enter. Small head = small brain! I'm meeting karen again in a couple of weeks and then in new year some of us non-mummies are meeting for some well earned over indulgence ;-) Obviously there are still hard times too but thats what chocolate, wine, good friends and Skype we invented for 

I do think of you all often even when I'm not on here. One thing for sure is that you'll never be forgotten. I hope the baby buds continue to make you all glow and i promise to pop in now and then for your news.

Love to you all, big and small, katxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi everyone 

Looks like everyone is having their struggles and could do with A massive hug.  have to say Glayds made me laugh with the still not thin you and me both.  

Nodikat you dont live in a parrlell universerse and you must not feel like that nothing better than hearingabout non  baby stuff how is your lovely DOG , im still in aloT Of grIEF AFTER LOOSING tRAVIs sorry for spelling.  

Honor hope you are having a wonderful time with baby despite the absence of DH. great to have such supportive family.  




afm if you thinking why is she typing in upper and lower case its cos Ethan is pressing buttons and generally driving me crazy poor kid been kicked out of school at 4. been 5 weeks now and still nothing sorted out , trying to keep sane, not been able to meditate for ages.    im going to read more pages. 

love and light and peace to all my virtual friends, keep the faith and lets hope we are all destined for a calm and quiet 2013.


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Am on my phone, so apologies if this turns into a "me" post, as it's hard to scroll back and my memory's rubbish...

Kat: Good to hear from you, and of your plans to meet Karen - in told-you-so Germany this time? It's great you have a supportive network of non-mummy friends. I have to admit that even though I am now a mama, I still feel uncomfortable around mamas who didn't experience any struggles, so I can understand how you might feel more at ease with your non-mummy friends.

Carey: Glad you enjoyed the mini Cheesecake meet. Although I must berate your choice if venue you three if there wasn't chesecake on the menu!
Interesting news on the new clinic - keep us posted!

Dee: What a lovely surprise to hear from you! Certainly sounds like life is keeping you on your toes. Glad to hear that Stanley is doing well, he must make all those more difficult aspects of life all that more bearable.

Rachel: Sounds like you're having a tough time of it with Ethan + school... What's the latest? I hope you are getting enough support from DH and the school.

So sorry if I've not responded to any other recent posters... As ever, thinking of you all.

AFM: My grandad died on Friday He'd had prostrate cancer for years, had recently gotten worse with it (had spread to bones) but he'd very rapidly detoriated over the last few days. It wa horrible seeing him as he was dying but I was glad to have been able to have been with him, held his hand and say a proper goodbye. He passed just 20 minutes after my brother and I had left on Friday, with my mum, aunty and uncle with him, and to be honest I was just relieved that he'd finally be at peace. Still sad though. The funeral is Friday and in our discussions of who might look after baby M, I suggested if no one is free to do it, I take her to M&S cafe to be looked after by all the old ladies who constantly admire her whenever we go in!
In other news: Still no flat news. Poor DH is so fed up trying to find us something and wishes he could work from the UK. We don't hold out much hope that he'll be able to, but he might ask about the possibility of doing so come the new year if we're still homeless. He has though at least now got Skype working so we can chat for longer every day and he can see baby M.

Love to all,
xxx


----------



## Hulagirl

Hi Buds
Sorry i have been a rubbish bud and not posted for a while. I havent read back much but i will hopefully get on in the next few days. Unfortunately my recent FET cycle was negative  - gutted! I had one put back and after about a week i felt like it hadnt worked, my boobs went from being a bit sore to not at all so in some ways when i tested i wasnt surprised. Anyway hopefully going to chat to the clinic about doing another cycle sometime. Still got some embies left so still have some chances but still hurts. Anyway, got to be thankful that i dont live on the east coast of the USA - praying for them and that the hurricane loses strength.
Just got back from a few days away so off to sort out ready for going back to work tomorrow.
Chat soon buds, hope everyone is ok
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds where is everyone.

honor so sorry for you loss,  hope your situation changes soon with the flat search or dh being in the uk it must be so frustrating. how is baby doing?

Hula really sorry to read your post, hope you are coping okay.   

afm no improvements re finding a school being half term this week.  Have told dh not to return at the weekends as we are not getting on at all he shows me no affection and is unsupportive.  so sadly i think this is the end of the dream of a happy family life but i have my beautiful boy who challenges me all the time but loves me too and i love him and thats all i could ask for.  The struggles i have been through have not proven to make me stronger as yet but always hoping for things to turn around.  

love and light to you all and big hugs too. xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

*Hula*: So sorry to hear your news . Wish so much I had a magic wand to make it happen for all my lovely Buds . It must be really hard having your embies there ready and waiting, but being scared of being hurt again. I hope you're feeling more positive again soon and your chat at the clinic goes well .

*rachel*: Sorry to hear your news too. It's very sad that you feel like your DH has been giving you no affection or support - it's his loss . It does though sound like you've thought long and hard about things and are hapy with your decision. Really hope you can sort out a new school for Ethan soon, a fresh start for you both. Probably not an awful lot I can do, but let me know if you fancy a Skype chat anytime .

*AFM*: My grandad's funeral went well. It still feels odd that he's gone, but I know he's at peace now and that's all that matters.
Still no flat news... quelle surprise . By Christmas, DH will have been in the job 6 months, so at least the time is going quickly and perhaps we will manage to stick it out living apart another 6 months until he can hopefully get back to the UK .
Baby M is doing well, getting rather chubby now she's feeding so well 

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there buds,
Long time no see... It has ben very quiet here though so I only had to scroll back 2 pages... such a shame really...
*Honor-* I am very sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, my nan passed away few years back, she had colon cancer which also spread and during the last few months it was very hard to watch. It was a relief in the end to know she was in peace  . Hope your house situation sorts itself out xx
*Rachel-* Sorry to hear of your situation. If I may say, your dh is a numpty. I am happy to get the vibe in your post that you are staying strong though which is good not only for yourself but for Ethan too. I hope his school situation gets sorted out. You are really being tested atm. Just keep strong, things do have a tendency to get better, sooner or later 
*Curly-* Hope you are well, very quiet at your front xx
*Dee-* I know what you mean about this thread. It helped me through some tough times and I often think about everyone here. The other day I was cleaning my cupboard and found my old scrap paper where I'd written little notes what was going on with everyone here so I'll remember it all when I post. So many have since gone to new things, with or without babies... You have had some tough time too lately so I shall give you a huuge virtual 
*Kat-* Glad to hear from you. I also see what you mean, once you make that decision and want to move on, it really isn't doing the trick if you sit here on a thread like this, you go and splash that cash around the world on happy things (while I spend a bit more on possible heartache ). You certainly deserve happiness. I'm glad to hear this thread has given you some happiness too in a shape of a friend like Karen.  
*Pooky, ma-me, carey-* HOW can you choose a venue without cheesecake!? Are you out of your minds??   Glad you had a good get together xx
*Hula* So sorry to hear of you bfn  Hope you get to do another cycle soon. I am sending sacks of luck your way 
Everyone- Hope you are all doing well xxxx
afm- New job hasn't started yet but thank you all for wishes! It starts 4th of december and I'm so looking forward to it....
I also got date for my cycle... I will start sniffing 2.2.13 until then I must stay on this bloody pill without breaks and I have never wanted to have af so much in my life, I feel like I'm bursting and this is only 3rd pack in a row... a good few to go till feb :/ They said it'll prevent the endo from flairing up b4 tx... The thing that worries me is that my new job has 4month probation and I'm gonna need some time off for clinic visits etc end of feb and then the ET... Not sure what to tell them, not gonna tell about ivf they might let me go if they know...
Well, I must go now, it is fathers day here in Finland and we are off to my dad's for some cake, it better be cheesecake!!! 
Much love to you all 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## Gladys07

Hello ladies

How are you all?

*Carey* - fab news about new clinic x
*Kat* - How are the chicks? How they haven't escaped too far. Say hello to Karen and have a glass of vino for me.
*Rachel* - huge hugs - xx Any luck on finding a school for Ethan? I do hope your DH has managed to turn himself around and offer some support, it is alot to shoulder x
*Honor *- So sorry to hear about your Grandad, hope the funeral went as well as can be expected and M managed to distract the sadness of the day. xx Fingers crossed living arrangements get sorted soon.
*Hula *- Sorry this FET didnt work xx When you are ready I will have my fingers crossed for next one, the stress and anticipation is exhausting x
*Hanna* - Only 10 days left to new job, good luck. Hopefully the times of treatments won't cross over with work too much and you can get away with it x
*Pooky* - How are the pooketttes?

Ma me - Did you get your financial backing? 
Curlyone- Hello hon x
Mrs Ixy - How are you?
Maisemoo - Bell .Twinklie , Zoe - hello xx

AFM - have a few KIT days with work and have to fill out form for request for flexi time which has annoyed me as if they don't give it to me I wish I had taken reduncacy .. Plus in consulation period they intimated it would be okay. We all had a norovisrus thing with fku .. for about 2 weeks it was awful. If you here of anyone with oit STAY AWAY it is so contagious and everywhere. I ONLY LOST A KILO!

Love to you all and bug hugs

Dx


----------



## ma-me28

evening has gone very quiet on here, hope everyone is ok
hanna pizza hut used to do cheesecake lol but have changed menu, not long til you start new job hope it all goes well
gladys sorry to hear you werent well, glad your doing better. we are in discussions with another party to get sustainability funding, ironically we got 2 per cent pay rise! and we have 2 more months of work.
carey thats good news about the clinic bit closer for us if we need to go for ivf again.
honor glad m is doing well, i hope you can get to be together as a family soon.

afm nothing too exciting had scan for clomid response, had one good follicle so just need to time bms effectively, passed my 1st assignment phew, struggling bit with next one but will get there.

big hugs to anyone ive missed


----------



## Nordickat

Hula -   sorry it was a BFN. 
ma-me and hanna - lots of luck   
Dee - I hope you are all better now and that your flexitime gets sorted.
Honor - any flat news?
Rachel - Is Ethan still at home or have your found somewhere for him? It must be so upsetting for you knowing he is missing out on so much   


Sadly I was too sick to travel and see Karen    Chicks are doing good and we´ve managed to sell some honey to some neighbours who thinks we are a bit odd   Nothing else to report really. Not surprisingly, christmas is a tough time for those of us without much family and the grim weather isn´t helping. I hope your new babies help those of you who have lost loved ones to enjoy the festivities this year.


Katxxx


----------



## Honor77

DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN, DAMN - just typed and lost a post . Better make this one brief!

*Hanna*: Great to hear from you !
Hope you're still looking forward to your new job - not long now !
Great news that everything's now in place for a new cycle for you  - will be keeping everything crossed for you !

*Gladys*: Great to hear from you too !
How is Stanley getting on?
How did your KIT days go? Any luck with the flexi time? Hope so!

*ma-me*:  on passing your 1st assignment! I'm sure you'll also pass the rest with flying colours !
Any news on the ttc front ? And/or on your job ?

*Kat*, lovely *Kat* : Hope you enjoyed your trip to Bristol, and gave it a hug from me ! Am missing it loads... 
Any  with you yet?!

*AFM*: Well, we are no longer homeless! DH has found us a flat, moved in on Saturday, and so we now need to organise the big move . Mixed feelings about it... Desperately want to be with DH and for the 4 of us ( included!) to be together, but still don't want to be in Germany . Missing DH aside, am quite settled here, with a great support network, which I'll sorely miss when we move. I'm determined to give it a fair chance though , but will also continue to hope that DH can get a transfer back to the UK sooner rather than later .

Love to all ,

xxx


----------



## rachel1972

grrr just lost post 

honor progress is alwalys hard hope everything works out for you family in the new year. are there any groups you can join asap when you get there, i know how hard it is to be alone with a baby.  xx

nordikat  sounds like you are not looking forward to this xmas enjoy your furbaby , i will be missing my trav so very much. xxx

afm still not stated a preference on a school as no one wants my son.  will have to file the paperwork next week so need to make a choice not based on fear. been so bullied and what with the lose of travis and the whole ivf nightmare i will be very glad to get to a new place in my life soon. been trying to  adopt a rescue dog it seems to be very difficult to get even a home check done we would happily pay for this but they dont seem to run a service for this.  and some rescue centers wont let you adopt a pup unless you live in the county it is all very hard or maybe its just not the right time yet.  my sister in law as asked for xmas which will be good for ethan he has never had a proper family xmas as they are usually away or with their dad.  so anyway enough of my rambling hope everyone finds a bit of peace over the coming weeks and a great 2013!!  
love and light to you all xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Honor thats fab news that you are nolonger going to have to live in a cardboard box, and who knows, you might really like Germany this time around.


Rachel its really really [email protected] that you aren´t getting the support you deserve for Ethan, the poor wee man. Go with your heart and the place you feel will be right for him. They can´t bully you into anything. He is your boy so you decide. Maybe dog adoption is just tricky at this time of year and maybe if you wait until the New Year it will be easier. You can understand why they would be reluctant to give away puppies at christmas just to get them back soon after. Maybe wait until the festive chaos has settled and they have time to deal with you as a serious dog owner not just one on a whim. I was dreading christmas yep but I´m OK with it now and I´m even hoping that DH and I can go out in the woods with a saw tomorrow to get a little tree (not had one for years). I bought some lovely decorations when I first went to see Karen and then I bought some beautiful glass angels yesterday and I need to hang them all somewhere   Pooch is having his leg op next Tuesday so will be a very very sad boy for the next 3 months but I´m hoping lots of cuddles will help him through it. I´m glad you have plans for christmas for Ethans sake an also for yours, and I hope that being surrounded by family plugs the hole that Travis left, just a little at least.


Well, 2013 is on its way and I can say with confidence that 2012 was the worst year of our lives together which is pretty impressive since we didn´t even have any tx this year   . Anyway, onwards and upwards for me and I hope for all of you too. I know there is still much heartache on here but I really do hope that you all have a lovely christmas.


Lots of love to all of you, big and small, Katxxx


----------



## rachel1972

thanks nordi i wish i could go with my heart but the only school i really liked is not an option apparently and everyone is so horrible its a cruel world with a child who doesnt fit the mould.  sorry to hear your baby is having an operation hope it goes smoothly xx


----------



## lynn1303

Hey buds. 

Long time no see.  I think it's been about a year since I last logged on I've not even been lurking.  I'm so sorry I've let everyone down.  Especially honor who has made a good few attempts to contact me. Email/Skype etc.  I think I just completely went off the reservation.  

I'm on phone and last page I was active in was 111 so I've only managed to read back a few pages. 


I've been off my work since end of June.  Hoping to be allowed back by end of jan.  funnily enough they don't seem keen on having mental nurses looking after patients.  


As all buds can understand this year has been yucky.  Except for honor.  OMG. congratulations I'm genuinely so so chuffed for you.  Was it a little girl u had? What's her name? I'm sorry to read about ur grandad though how awful. :-( but ull have ur first Xmas with ur gorgeous wee baba.  R u in Germany yet or is hubs coming back to uk for festivities? 


So where to start this year.  That's been part of the problem trying to figure out what the problem is.  

Money has been a major issue nearly losing my house. Hubs being made redundant then at last minute being put on month by month notice.  I'm now on half pay - we didn't cope when I was full pay!! 

My uncle who is like a second dad to me and I'm his main carer has tried to die on me 3 times this year.  Twice b4 I stopped worked which impacted on work.  

Work whoa where to start.  I work with a bunch of selfish 2 faced idiots.  I'm quite a chatty person and talk away to everyone.  Some of the porters took this wrong way - as a come on.  One in particular said he didn't care if I was happily married so was he and if I was alone on niteshift he'd be sure to show me a good time whether I was a willing participant or not.  I obviously reported this and was told by his manager it was harmless banter and by my manager what did I expect as I talk to everyone. Not to dwell on details but his threat came true and I have only just told hubby and began to deal with everything. 


I like denial.  It usually works for me.  But this year I stopped taking calls replying to txt emails. Stopped opening letters - how house was nearly gone and subconsciously seem to have done everything to push dh away.  

We have our own issues on top of that but he's still there. 

7 failed iui's didn't help either.  I've not taken my final cycle yet for obvious reasons but plan to.  I've got date in April for ivf so hopefully head back in game by then.  

So lots of cpns councillors and medication later I'm trying to build my life back up piece by piece.  


Sorry such a me post but I had to get it out there b4 I could do anything else. 




Big hugs to everyone.  I think about u all often.  Please update me with ur news as I don't think ill manage to read all missed pages to catch up properly. 

Xxxxx


----------



## rachel1972

Hi Lynn 

I really dont know what to write, except for sorry and i hope you are getting all the help in dealing with such an ordeal.  take care and share with us when you can.  
love and light. x


----------



## bell26

Oh my goodness Lynn, bless your heart you have had one hell of an ordeal, I really wish I could give you the biggest hug in the world. I can't imagine what you have been through, I hope you have lots and lots of support, have you spoken to a councillor ? The samaratins ? You need to report this man to the police, he must be held accountable for what he has done to you hunni.

I just popped on to wish you all Merry Christmas and a Happy new Year, hopefully for some of you 2013 will be much brighter for you.

Think of you all often x


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

I just pooped on to wish everyone a merry , peaceful christmas.    

Lynn- how awful. I thought you'd been very quiet on ********. I hope you will be ok and are getting all the support you need. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Merry Christmas to everyone and hoping 2013 brings everyone peace, happiness and everything they ever wishes for x


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Wishing you all a relaxing Christmas & all the very best for 2013. You are all always in my thoughts...

xxx


----------



## Martha Moo

Hello ladies


May 2013 bring you all you wish for

x x x


----------



## Martha Moo

Hello Ladies

On behalf of FF



You may also wish to take a peek at this link too  CLICK HERE

Donna​


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Hope you are all well & had a peaceful Christmas. Everyone here was down with cold & so somehow Christmas seems to have been & gone, almost passing us by! 

No plans for New Year's Eve, but I am now looking forward to us joining DH next month. No date for moving as yet though.

Thinking of you all, especially Lynn (hope you got my text) & praying for a fantastic 2013 for all, with much love, luck & happiness.

xxx


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## rachel1972

Happy new year to you all , have now got an adorable puppy called Rosabelle she gives me peace and hope for the coming year free from trying to conceive at last.  

Honor hope the move goes swiftly lots of love.xxx

Hi to all you quiet buds hope your year is full of joy and happiness, xx


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## 1972

Happy new year buds. Here's hoping it makes dreams come true for those not lucky so far xxxxx


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## Pookychops

Happy new year everyone! 

I hope you had a good Christmas and new year. 

Lynn - good to hear from you. You look fabulous on your new year photo on ********. So sorry to hear what happened to you. I hope he gets his just desserts. I also hope that your managers at work gave you an apology and been givena rollicking for not takng you seriously. It's a sad world we live in when being friendly can be misconstrued in such a way and your managers should have taken you seriously when you reported his threat! 

Maisiemoo. - hope you are ok. Do you have any plans for more treatment? Have you finished the initial work on the house?

Rachel - what type of dog did you get? I hope you manage to resolve something for your son soon.

Honor - not long now. You must be so excited abut moving in with dh soon!

Curlyone, nordickat, squirrel, Karen, ma-me, I hope all is well with you all. 

Gladys - when are you back at work?  

Carey. - I hope all is ok with you. I see from ** that dh has been made redundant - is that right?

Mrs_ixy - how are you? You must be due soon?

Hula girl - sorry to hear about your last cycle. How are you now? Have you sat down with guys to work out a plan of action?

All is well here. The pookettes are coming up to six months. We have started weaning and I need to get inventive with purée  hopefully they'll move onto finger food soon. We got a letter from the clinic recently about our last remaining embryo and we have decided to give it to research. I'm quite sad that we won't use it but we have two beautiful babies and I don't want to put myself through another round of treatment. Part of me wants to see if I could get pregnant naturally now. I know quite a few who have done so after successful ivf, even with really low odds, and I just wonder if it would work for me too. I guess I'll never know as we've decided that we won't try anymore.

Thinking of you all and sending lots of new year hugs  

Pooky. Xxxx


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## Nordickat

Happy new year to all of you. I hope it's a wonderful year for us all.

Love as always, katxxx


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## Carey

*Happy New Year Buds*  

*Wishing each and everyone of you all the very best & much love for 2013*

Lynn - Welcome back hun, sending you big  xx

Pooky - Glad you had a lovely first christmas with twins  Have fun with the weaning.... its messy  You did read it right on **, DH has been made redundant, he is still out of work but hopefully the building trade picks up soon. xx

Honor - Hope ur ok & had a fab christmas xx

Hope everyone else had a lovely christmas and recieved lots of lovely gifts xxxxx


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## Big hat

Hello all.  Just wanted to say a belated Happy Christmas and New Year to all of you lovely ladies.  

I do think of you all often - Lynn I had  wondered  a few times during the year how you were getting along - I'm so sorry you were having such an awful time  . 

take care me darlin's whether your trying or not (Pookychops).

xx


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## Hulagirl

Happy new year darling buds, hope 2013 is a fabulous year for you all.

Lynn - im so sorry to hear about everything that you have been going through. I hope you have all the support to get you through these difficult times. There is always support on here and if you need to share anything with us. I must admit to being a bit rubbish over the last few months but i hope to pop on more often.

Anyway hope everyone is ok and that January isnt too glum after the festivities. I sometimes feel like hibernating in Jan as its too quiet and no-one wants to do anything.
love to all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nordickat

Hula - you are not the only one to have been a bit rubbish. It's a long while since I've read posts but just had a bug catch up and I hope to be a more frequent visitor now too. I don't mind the quietness of January but that's because I'm a hermit at heart lol. I hope things liven up for you soon though and that 2013 is a cracker of a year for you.

Curly - sorry for being so slack recently. I hope work is ok and that pooch is used to his routine now. He must have lived the long Christmas break with you 

Carey - I hope DH has work again soon although it must be nice to have him home to help out with lo and nice for him to get that extra time home with you both.

Pooky - I'm working up to donating my last embie for research too although no idea what they can possibly do with such a runt lol. Do you think you'll need to redecorate after the weaning process? I wonder how long it will take them to realise how much fun a food fight can be ;-)


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## Nordickat

Hi mais - catch up this week I hope. I'll try and talk to Karen and squirrel this week too. Fun fun fun xxx

Oooh Rachel tell us more about rosabelle. What sort is she? What has she destroyed? Does Ethan get on with her? Any progress with Ethan's schools?

Honor - what country are you in now? I know it will be hard to start with but the future will be fab and once you can start being a proper family at last then hopefully you'll not regret moving. German Christmas markets for you next year. Karen was trying to get me to join her this Christmas 

Bell - I hope you have a lovely 2013

Lynn - I'm so sorry to hear of your traumas xxx Firstly, I hope DH is more secure in his job now and I hope you are well enough to go back in a few weeks to at least ease the financial burden a little. You don't need that on top of everything else (((hugs))). I'm glad meds and talking are helping but please don't go back to work til you are ready. Going back too soon can make things even worse but I guess you know that. We have shared similar histories and I know we don't know each other very well but if you need to offload then just pm me. I know how it feels to have part of yourself taken from you so don't hesitate if you need to just write and write and send it somewhere. I'm too shy for group work but I do know a couple of loonies from my hospital stay found the group sessions to talk about their trauma were really good. Being friendly and chatty is such a wonderful characteristic and should never be abused by anyone. Thinking if you and I promise it does get easier and eventually becomes a much less significant part of your thoughts.

Love to everyone, especially those just browsing these day.
Katxxx


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## Nordickat

I forgot me lol - pooch had his leg op and thanks to lots if help from our buds vet squirrel, I'm less stressed about it now. He is used to 2 hours of walks each day so 20 mins is driving him crackers and so driving me that way too! We take him out in the car just for variety sometimes lol. 3 weeks down, only another 9 to go!!!! My pelvis is twisted so its crushing some nerves so occasionally my right knee gets warm and wet so I think I've peed myself lol. Thank goodness for drugs! The drugs will also help me get through a weekend of snowboarding this weekend. Heading to switzerland in a few weeks for some more boarding fun (i have a new v sexy board ;-) ). Gradually going back to work after a November wibble. I'm scraping the barrel for news now so will stop now before I resort to telling you about my breakfast lol.

Katxxx


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## Pookychops

Kat - lovely to hear from you. You are sounding very chipper have you been to see an osteopath about your twisted pelvis? I had one and they sorted it out a treat.  Poor pooch - I hope his leg gets better soon. Does taking him out for a drive actually distract him? There's a white husky type dog round here that is taken for walks with his hind legs in a harness and so he uses his front legs to walk and he has wheels for the rear. 

Gah - two wailing babies. Gotta go

Xxx


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## Nordickat

Hehehe - I was thinking wheels for summer and skis for winter ;-) He is allowed for a pee after his drive and to be honest I think he is just glad to be out of the house. He was tied up outside an art gallery on Sunday for ages and I think he thought it was way better than looking out the window at home. Osteopati treatment is ongoing :-(


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## Pookychops

And you could tape go faster stripes on his sides


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## Pookychops

And the amount of dogs I've seen lately being pushed around by their owners in buggies is just wrong! They have two or three dogs in these little carriers. Surely the point of taking a dog out is for it to get some excercise- not to be driven around!


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## Nordickat

Go faster stripes and a lycra suit maybe. Quite a few dogs here have lycra jumpsuits (always in orange  ) although they all seem to be hanging their heads in shame, and I´m pretty sure mine whispers insults in their ears as they go past    I don´t get the dogs in buggies thing either


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## Hannushka

Happy 2013 Everyone!

Nice to see you all here again, been thinking about you all as getting ready for my next tx...

Lynn-Sorry to hear of your hard time. Really hope things are settling down and dh's job situation gets stable. Wishing you strength and hope you can get back to work soon (without that creepy  there of course) OMG!  xx
Kat and Pooky- you had me laughing out loud for the idea of the orange lycra suit and skiis. I remember we bought my little dog a suit (not lycra though) but to prevent him getting all dirty when it was wet and stuff. He was SOOO embarrassed, he'd go and sit under a table with his head down, knowing that we were all laughing at him, poor thing! The suit was sort of rusty orange with white circle things on it, looked like old granpa's longjohns  
Gosh time flies, so just quick me post to the end.
afm. Nothing much to report, been on the pill now since september, not long now till 2.2 when I start sniffing again. Happy to say I'm not stressed at all, not taking any extra pills or haven't changed diet, we just go with the flow. Tx is free but must pay meds, VERY expensive, but they have a sort of pay-roof here that if you pay over 670€ for any prescribed meds, you then get all the other prescribed meds after for 1,50€ for the rest of the year, so if this doesnt work, my nxt tx costs me around 3€!  Taking the stress away a little! Ha
Take care all 
xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* ,

Hope you're all well and that 2013 has got off to a good start for you all .

*rachel*: Congratulations on your new arrival! I'm sure Rosabelle will prove the perfect companion to you and Ethan, and be much loved in return !

*maisiemoo* Right back at ya! Surely unlucky for some 13 MUST be a lucky one for you after your horrible 2012 . I'll be thinking of you and hoping that things are on the up for you  .

*Pooky*: Sounds like you've been making some big decisions. I expect though you feel some kind of relief to have come to a final decision on your remaining embie and future ttc plans.
 with the weaning!

*Kat*: Good to "read" you, and hopefully have a catch up on Skype soon ? I'm badgering DH for an Android tablet to make Skyping even easier when I'm over there ! So, still here, but plans are now afoot for transporting our stuff from my beloved Bristol next weekend !
How's poor Pooch doing  (for him)?
Can't believe you're talking snowboarding with a twisted pelvis     ?! Crazy !
Good luck with your venturings back into the workplace, but take it easy and don't let anyone rush/hassle you .

*Carey*: How are things with you? Hope you enjoyed Oliver's first Christmas, and that 2013 brings some good job news with it for DH .

*Curly*: And how are you doing ? Hope you're all settled in your job now and that your new job stability in 2012 was the building block you needed to go on to achieve your hopes and dreams in 2013 .

*Hula*: Still hibernating ?!
Sending you positive vibes for a very positive 2013 !

*Hanna*: Lovely to hear from you .
Wow - that's come around fast, your next tx! Tho' I suspect it's felt like an absolute age to you...  Please do keep us posted as and when you can/want to. I'll be keeping out a keen and watchful eye for news of a little Finnish miracle for you .

*AFM*: Still in the UK and still no move date, but our things should be heading over there next weekend, if all goes to plan. Once that's sorted we'll work out a move date. It could be as early as the following weekend or as late as end of Feb. when DH is over here for work. I'm still a little apprehensive about it, but that's more not wanting to leave the UK than thinking it'll be terrible! Am determined to give it my best shot in any case, and to get back over here for breaks as often as possible  !

Love to all,

xxx


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## squirrel2010

Hi sweeties,
Just wanted to poke my head back in. Firstly to say huge congrats to everyone who deserves it. Secondly to send long over due hugs to you all. Thirdly to apologise for being awol. Fourthly to say how glad I am that you are still here, and fifthly to be selfish and ask for support. 
I cant do this alone anymore. Another bfn today and am in pieces. Still would be if it were not for kat.
Quick update - apart from progesterone issues, DH diagnosed with rare problems creating abnormal embryos from his swimmers. Only options are PGD or double donation. Tried PGD, miracle normal blasts and they still didnt work. I admit it - I seriously need some help. So a selfish support request from a sheepish squirrel who is sorry she hasnt been around.
Xxxx


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## Pookychops

Oh squirrel   I'm so sorry. I often think of you and thought that you were still trying but couldn't quite face being on here. Infact I think of you every time I pick up my car keys and I hope that you'll get the future that you want.

To put it mildly, the news of dh's swimmers is a big fat bummer, as is your progesterone absorbing issue (can they do anything about that?) and a BFN - it's no wonder you are in pieces. Are you still on the same phone number ending 800?

Kat - I would just like to point out how lovely you are. You are always there to help and support everyone even when you are struggling with your own issues.


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## Honor77

*squirrel*:     . I too suspected you may be still trying on the sly. You had to do what you had to do, and I don't blame you feeling the need to stay away from here. I am though "glad" that you are back for our support - you know we'll always be here for you .

Do check out the PGD threads/diaries on here, as I'm sure they will also be able to give you lots of good support and advice. I made a wonderful friend through FF who also faced PGD after failed cycles etc. She had one hell of a journey but is now pregnant. I'm sure she'd be more than happy for me to send you her contact details if you'd like a more personal contact with someone who's had the same issues? Let me know and if so, I'll text her to check she doesn't mind - sure she won't though.

Take care of yourself, you're a very special squirrel who's very dear to us and who also more than deserves her happy ending.
xxx
P.S. *Kat*: I echo *Pooky* ...


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## squirrel2010

Thank you for welcoming me back, you are all so kind. I cant stop crying, and I dont know what to do


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## rachel1972

hi all 

Squirrel Im really sorry not sure how to be helpful, prob better not to say anything except for keep posting as much me posts as you need too we are all here for you.  xxx

Honor i can imagine your apprehension on leaving the uk , you will just have to come back for long break a lot. 

Nordi hope your dog is getting better poor love.  lucky you snowboarding.  

Hi Hanna wish you all the luck for upcoming tx.

afm Rosabelle is an adorable JRT she is my substitute daughter and i put her in my top and carry her around.  WE are still waiting on the LA to get there a777ses into gear re school , i am very angry about it and really have no support from friends or family.  Poor Ethan is so anti school understandably. 
Dh and I are still totally unconnected if we were better off im sure he would not be around at all.  part from to see Ethan of course. 

keep the faith xx


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## Nordickat

Squirrel      I hope today is better   


Rachel     you sound like you are having a pretty miserable time too  . Maybe you and DH could benefit from some counselling together. The worry over Ethan must be so draining for you both and leave you no time out. 


Pooky and Honor - you have me all wrong. You are imagining hugs, tissues and words of comfort for squirrel and thats not my style. I am her reality check not her comforter   


Katxxx


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## Pookychops

I know what you're like Kat - you are always there with good words of support though and you keep it real. I had a chat with squirrel the other day. she met bessie cat on Skype and then I met Colin. It was a good old moggy fest


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## Big hat

OOO Squirrel, me lovely.  I am so so sorry you had another bfn.  Like Pooky, every now and again I look at my keyring and think of you and hope you are doing ok.  As Rachel says - keep the faith. I'm not sure which clinic you are going to - did you stay with Barcelona or did you decide to try Serum?  Have you had a follow-up talk with the clinic to see what they suggest?  I suppose in some ways, and at the risk of sounding flippant when I really don't want to, PGD is still a viable option as it's a lot easier for the men to produce batches of sperm to be checked than for women to produce batches of eggs...... maybe, as a person who only ever had ED as an option I look at this slightly differently, because 'you' take the blame for infertility this somehow levels the playing field and enables you both to gird yourselves and come at it from a different angle - maybe stronger.  I know it's difficult and horrible but keep strong and you will get there.  

Kat -   despite your assertion of the opposite we all know that you are a voice of support and comfort - don't give us that 'I am the reality check' nonsense. x

Rachel - is there any chance you and DH can have some time on your own - a bit of respite care for DS - so that you can just have some couple time?

Pooky - hope the bubs are ok - I'm sure you are now even more of a dab hand at multi-tasking! x

Hanna - ooo, not long now .  Good luck!

Honor - liking your attitude.  There are some cheap flights out there so I'm sure you can bob back and forth between here and Germany. xx

Big hugs to all.

Curly
xxx


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## Nordickat

Pooky - Did she confess to having to put Colin on a diet because he is too fat  . You´d think squirrel of all people wouldn´t over feed her cat  . You should have invited me too and pooch could have terrorised bessie and colin. With only 3 legs, through the ether is the only terrorising he´ll be doing for a long while yet 

Curly - Don´t tell anyone though or they´ll think I´m going soft  .


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## Pookychops

No she didn't mention that   so kat has pooch had a leg removed or is he just three legged while his leg is healing? We had a three legged cat once. She got run over and had leg amputated. After that she used to sit in the middle of the road - I think she had a death wish but lived quite a while. 

Curly - good to hear from you  do you have any plans for any further treatment? I presume you're still working?


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies  
You lot are making me smile! I will have you know that thanks to dh, Colin is much more streamlined but yes i am hopeless when he miaows at me! Do as a i say, not as i do...
Rachel - thanks for your post and i too hope you can get some time with dh, what about what curly suggested? Xx
Pooky - thank you again for your support, bessie cat has a new boyfriend   . I have missed you girls and the fact you all still care means such a lot xx
Kat - ha ha, my very own reality check  , what would i do without you?! Seriously - you are a star. Hope pooch is coping, and the snow is gorgeous where you are. Sending a virtual set of the thickest thermals ever! Xx
Curly - missed you! Lovely to hear from you, what are you up to? Thank you for your words. Yup, level playing field but makes things so much more complex. Can only biopsy at an embryo level to see if any normal ones. Likely will end up going double donation, which is a scary thought. Xx
Hanna and Honor - xx

AFM, i need a boot up the proverbial from you all. I have lapsed back into blaming myself for all of these failures, as if somehow the embryos are rejecting me. I am being irrational and keep thinking if those blasts had been transferred into somebody else, they would have worked. I am scared if my ovaries have packed up, my womb is useless too. One minute I am fine, next minute I am crying. Grrrrrrr. Why do I always leap to blame and punish myself for being useless? Grrrr, get so annoyed with myself. Sorry girls xxxxxxx


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## Nordickat

Pooch is just 3 legged while he has his cast on but hopefully it's healing ok. He is pretty handy on 3 legs though and I can't catch him if he decides to hide behind he table instead of going in his box. DH is worried he won't be strong enough to pull him in skis if he had to have his leg amputated!

Squirrel no butt kicking today and just xxx You know I think the blame/rejection thing is silly so I'll not harp on about it ;-) Thanks for the thermals though, I'm living in Marino this winter and managed frostbite once already thus year.


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## Pookychops

Squirrel - big   you know that it's not your fault that previous cycles didn't work. You did get a bfp so it shows you can get pregnant. You're on the right track now.

I'm watching the program on baby jaguars and Bessie cat is sat here with me watching   I wonder what she's thinking? I hope shes not learning how to catch pigs - worm and frog catching is more than enough! They are beautiful cats.


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## squirrel2010

Hello lovelies,

Ok, i know i am the most irrational squirrel in the world, so thank you for letting me vent and for reassuring me that i am in fact talking rubbish as usual!

Kat - pooch is doing brilliantly and his post op care thanks to you has been perfect. Nicely done, cant wait to hear how follow up xrays go. Frost bite sounds mean. Thank you for the reassurance and fabulous wise owl words, as ever. Hope this week going well, will be in touch   

Pooky - thank you too for the immediate reassurance and support   . Ooh panthers. Go Bessie! Hope your week is going well too.

Well, been cinema-tastic, The Hobbit, Gangster Squad and Les Miserables all in one week! Only cried four times in Les Mis! Have decided I am a hobbit on an unexpected journey, and need to keep going, with the support of my friends ie you lot. I like the idea of hobbits eating seven meals a day too xx

Love you all xx


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## Nordickat

I know I shouldn´t complain about this because its way more stressful and chaotic for nearly all of you guys right now, but I´m cold!! Weekends in the mountains is the time for -15, not tuesdays at home   . Both lots of chicken drinking waters have frozen, the gate to the woodshed is frozen and so are my toes! 

I´d like to see Bessie trying to get a pig through the catflap   . My colleague had a couple of wolves on his farm and after they had gone he took his dogs out (on the lead) to see what they would do when they found the scent. He wanted them to run away from it obviously but they didn´t, they both wanted to hunt down the wolves  

I´m being dragged out to see Les Mis this week too. I´m going with a friend from the loonybin and she thinks it´s highly amusing that 2 depressives from the funnyfarm are being allowed to go see such a sad film unsupervised. She is a big crier too, do I need a family size box of tissues for her squirrel? I too like the idea of 7 meals a day, although I think I´m currently on about 5 a day anyway if we count cake breaks   

Love to all and stay warm, 
Katxxx

PS. Squirrel - poochs eye was all sealed shut this morning but its open now I´ve bathed it. He has prednisolone and antiBs for it. He has another appt on Thursday so I´m hoping his proper vet will take a good look while he is asleep. He is soooooo sad being so itchy and having to wear the ´cone of shame´. Have you seen the Disney movie ´Up´? I think you´ll like it.


----------



## Pookychops

I'd quite like to go and see les mis - will have to wait till its out on video (get me still calling DVDs videos). I like the hobbit but found it to be a bit more of a set up for lord of the rings. I also find these days they have to cgi everything and it just seems to be a competition to see who can do the most and it doesn't always help the film. The Star Trek trailer looks good though. Will have to go see that in 3d. 

I'm glad yore getting out and about squirrel. Archie and Bessie send you kitty hugs. Archie is currently lying out in the snow   I think he's lost the plot! Bessie is curled up next to a radiator - sensible girl

Kat - Archie brings sticks in through the cat flap, and small branches. I've no idea how he does it. I think he thinks he's a dog. Bessie thinks she's a cross between a bird and a hamster given her love of worms and chewing wires 

We're off to my mother in laws today. She's lovely but does drive me nuts by repeating everything I say and then she'll make a statement and I'll all impressed and then she questions herself and asks me if its right. She also talks in sing song voice to babies when she runs out of nursery rhymes. Then she's coming here on Thursday - I may have to have a few sneaky gins to get me through the day!


----------



## Big hat

Squirrel - only thing I can say on the 'blame' front is - the only thing you can put at your door is the desire to have a child - no more and no less.  I hope that soon you are able to pick up that little ol' limp squirrel tail you are dragging behind you, give it a spruce up, wash and blowdry to foof it out again, and that you can smile again. However, if you've now become a Hobbit - it may have to be a 'shave your feet and cut your toenails' so that you can dance again... . xx

Kat - you know have me reciting lines from Cold Comfort Farm - 'I saw somethin na-asty in the woodshed'!  Reactions to Les Mis, I reckon, depend entirely on your mood on the night - first time I saw it a friend and I quietly cheered when the annoying 'little' actor got it (those of you who have seen it should know that bit).  Second time a friend had got me into a matinee and I wept - on my own.....sad in so many ways.  

Pooky - I love the fact that you are now talking 'parentspeak' re: DVD .  Time with your mother in law sounds....hmmm....interesting.  Am feeling your pain.  Do you ever find yourself looking at her and thinking 'it really is just a stream of consciousness coming from your mouth; there is no processing of thoughts before you speak?' Best make it a double gin. xx

Afm: no news from me.  My contract has finished and I am back in the land of the great unwashed - a hidden statistic, looking for the next job...Joy!

hugs all
xx


----------



## Pookychops

Yes I do curly - and some of the stuff that comes out can be hurtful. She just doesn't think, even more so after a glass of wine or two. Bummer that your work contract has finished   will you be walking the dog lots or do you have any other home projects to work on?

This morning I wish I was a hibernating bear. I'm not a fan of January and never have been. I quite like the idea of nestling in a cave with my little family and coming out when spring has sprung.

Kat - last year we were chatting about snow boarding accessories and you mentioned a snood type thing. CAn u remind me what it is? I may get one for dh who is deserting us in march to go snowboarding. The mask thing I bought him last year at his request was rubbish. Mind you, last week he found a balaclava in his jacket that came with it - he's only been wearing the jacket for two years


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## Hannushka

Hey ladies! 
Firstly a HUUUGE   for Squirrel! Keep strong there, hobbit!
And everyone: I hope you are all well  
Sorry, a really quick one. Have had my menopurs in the fridge as it says so in the box and they said in the farmacy too, well, it also says do not freeze. I noticed my carrots had frozen in the fridge so I opened my menopur box, now, the powder vial... the powder is just a big chunck of white stuff. I read somewhere its supposed to, is that true? Or have I destroyed my meds??   (I didn't use menopur last time)
HEEEEELP!
xxxxxxxxxxx
Hanna


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi wonderful buddies,
Hanna - eek, I would ring your clinic to see if they think there is any damage to the ingredients, just in case they dont do what they should. Dont panic, get some advice and i a sure it will all work out. Blinking fridge. Thank you for the  , and sending them right back at ya  , and lovely to see you again   xx

Kat - you are well within your rights to moan about the cold - I cannot believe the temperatures that you cope with! I want to send you ear muffs, a hot water bottle, a blanket, a hat and anything else warm that I can think of! How is pooch today?? I want to know what you thought of les mis...i havent seen the Disney movie Up, i must look into it...sending   xx

Pooky - you are making me chuuckle about your MiL! Gin and tonic - you are a girl after my own heart. Thank you for the kitty cuddles, same back to you  . Didnt know you were a trekkie, i too think it would be a good film to see. Must see the first one though. Xx ps hibernating bear works for me xx

Curly - good luck for job searching my lovely. I luckily have no Hobbit feet, and I think you are right. I need a new shampoo and blow dry for my pathetic squirrel tail, and I will make it a priority . Thank you for your words. It is good to be chatting with you again xx

AFM, am feeling a bit better. My counsellor has been challenging me a lot, and trying to rip open the wound of what will happen if this never works. Scary but perhaps necessary. A lot to think about and my tiny squuirrel brain is muddled. Saw local consultant and more ideas to mix into my confused squirrelly brain - more immune testing, endometrial scratching blah blah blah. Dh being an angel, and my level of chocolate intake needs assessing by professionals oops  . Love to you all xx


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## Nordickat

Hanna - it's normal for powder to be one lump. Its fine.


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## Nordickat

Sorry Hanna i was in a hurry last night but i hope that short answer was enough. Menopur power is a solid lump and i seem to remember its kind of disc shaped. And even if it was a bit too cold in the fridge it won't have made any difference. Hormones are all stable in the freezer so don't panic, it will be fine. I'm paid to know that kind if stuff so you can trust me on that. Keep it in the door from now to stop your worry but i promise its fine and you got a full dose if you took it last night. Good luck this cycle xxx

Squirrel - i shouldn't have complained about the cold. I drove to a meeting after that and watched the car thermometer drop to -23!!! Hanna have you got wierd weather your way too? -15 and snow this week and +2 and rain next apparently - wierd!

Pooky - we all use balaclavas and then merino wool Buffs. You can probably get merino wool balaclava now though. Having a Buff as well is good though. The only brand I know that is not Norwegian is Buff so can't help on which to buy. Where is he going? We are going to Switzerland next week and planning Japan for 2014 

Curly - rubbish news about the job :-( I hope something equally challenging comes along soon. 

I loved les mis by the way. So not my sort of thing I thought but it was great. Very powerful and emotional and I think my friend and I were almost in a bit of shock afterwards. 

Katxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Thanks Kat. Yeah, it is the sort of disc shape. I haven't started yet, start sniffing 2.2.13. Thank you! I did have a few palpitations there 
Curly: Sorry about the job thing    Hope something comes up soon xx
Honor: Any news on the move front? Must be quite a challenge to be apart so much though... Hows little princess?
Pooky: I agree with you on the january thing, I wish I could just sleep through it, adding february there too though, they are promising us a record cold feb   <= that's the frozen Hanna
Squirrel: Glad you are feeling better and dh being a darling. I prescribe you a huge juicy cheesecake though, chocolate just wont do alone!! 
afm: Just booked to test thyroid again, I think I need to up my dose, feel so so tired all the time, am freezing all the time, eyes swell up, my short term memory is c**p etc etc...
Too late to help tx working but if it does, may help for the wee thing stick and grow healthy if I get the thyroid levels ok... 
Take care you all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Lovely to see such a lot of chat on here again! Sorry for being a naughty bud & doing lots of lurking but no posting. I blame Majhong... No sooner is Baby M in bed & I'm hooked on it! I will endeavour to be a better bud (once I've completed all the games..).

Squirrel: I echo all the sound advice & words of wisdom posted. Please look after yourself & don't for one minute blame yourself. Oh, & could you text or PM me your address? Thanks!

Kat: Am on my phone so doing this all from (poor) memory, but think you are about to do crazy sporty things, again? If so: Have fun!
Hope pooch is soon fully functioning on all 4 legs!

Curly: Sorry to hear your latest job news. I'm sure something great will be just around the corner for you. In the meantime, enjoy some pooch/mama time, I'm sure he will!

Hanna: Glad you sorted your Menopur scare! Must be slightly daunting preparing to start cycling again. It sounds like the break from tx has done your body, mind & soul good, which bodes well for your upcoming cycle. Good luck!!!!!

Pooky: Hope the weaning is proving a success! Baby M now on 1 teaspoon baby rice/puree a day, wish she'd taken to her milk as well as she has to these! 
Did you say something about your MIL? There's a lot to be said for husbands from foreign climes 
(... & Squirrel) Ned is very put out that he didn't get to meet Bess cat & Colin the other day! We should do a cat conference call!

Rachel: Thanks for you mail. I'm sorry 2013 has got off to such an uncertain start for you, but hope that everything will come right as the year progresses. Limboland is an awful place to be (as a former inhabitant of it)... Sometimes it takes everything to get all messed up for the good things to start happening. Hope you're still doing & benefiting from your meditation.

Apologies & hugs to anyone I may have missed...

AFM: Still in the UK. Had a bit of hassle organising man+van, but things should now be arriving there next weekend. Will be very cross if not. Looks like DH will come to collect us end of Feb. now, when he's in UK for work. Not too bothered about waiting til then, as then Baby M will have had all her required jabs & me all the dental tx I need (for free). We've built up a lovely, very busy social life here, so I am going to miss being here, but I want to be with DH more & am sure we'll find plenty of groups to join there too.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Carey

Hi Buds,

Have just logged on to se how you all are?  

Honor - we are all good thanks, christmas was lovely with Oliver. I hope you had a good one with Baby M. I bet you cant wait until end of FEB, you have waited so long. Hope the move goes well   xx

Squirrel - Hello my lovely, big   for you. Keep up the chocolate intake.... it works wonders   xx

Hanna - Hope your test go ok xx

Curly - Hope your ok & find a new job soon xx

Kat - Hope your well xx

Pooky - Hiya   xx 

Mel - Hope ur well hun xx

Hello to everybody else.  

AFM - DH is still jobless, he is now gone self employed so hope this will help... ive been bust ordering him some cards & bits to hand out to drum some work up, fingers crossed & he is starting to drive me a little mad, although Oliver is loving having his Daddy home  
I go back to work part time 2 days a week on the 4th March, cant say im looking forward to it but will see how it goes. 
Oliver has chicken pox at the mo, he is covered in spots, poor little lad, today they had started to itch, so have put him to bed with socks over his hands  
In 4 weeks time it will be his first birthday, i ask myself daily... where has the time gone  & always thank the biggest shining star in the sky for helping to make our dream become true... my dad. God i miss him so much & wish he was here to see Oliver.

My bed is calling me.... sweet dreams my lovely buds xxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi buds

Just thought I'd check in with you all and say hello!

Squirrel - massive hugs. So sorry you've gone through all this xxxxxx

Kat- so good to hear you sounding more upbeat. Onwards and upwards xxxx

Honor- hope the move all goes ahead real soon. You must be desperate for normality and to be settled! Xxx

Hi to everyone else. I visit very infrequently now so too much to go back on but I think of you all often. I'm STILL trying. Been 3 1/2 years now and it's wearing me down. AMH tested before Xmas and its 0.9! ****e. Have taken one last ' natural' chance this month with some tablets from a friend. She was prescribed taxomifen for fertility, took for 5 days, now 32 weeks preg. She have me her leftovers drugs and I've naughtily tried the same... Watch this space. 

Love to you all x


----------



## Big hat

Morning ladies,

Maisie - your post did make me smile - seen your range of tablets on ** and did wonder......good on you - take the chance and we'll keep our fingers-crossed for success for you    . xx

Hanna - ook - the countdown begins.....!   . xx

Kat - hope pooch is well and getting a bit of exercise - our pooch would be absolute murder to live with if he didn't get his exercise - he makes noises I've never heard from any other dog if he thinks he has been in the car too long! Am so jealous of your planned snowboarding/ski trips. xxx

Carey - good to hear from you.  Hope hubby gets work soon - and you get to enjoy a bit of time on your own with Oliver before you return to work.  xx

Honor - sounds like your having quite a jolly old time before your big move - odd how fate steps in - when you think of the stress this time last year - DH looking for work and you not wanting to go to Germany......enjoy. xxx

Squirrel - bless - hope your head isn't hurting quite so much with all you've been given to think about. I know it's a pain but, it's good that they are doing other tests and looking for possible solutions.  It seems like your consultants are routing for you almost as much as we all are.    .  xxx

Pooky - hope the next MIL visit is scheduled for a few months - give you a breather.  I now only see mine at big family do's - it's best for DH and me, as it means (in all honesty) that we can both avoid her and busy ourselves with others. Maybe, once the bubbas are older DH can take them to visit her (they can have 'family' time.... ). xx

Afm - thanks ladies for your kind words re:work. I have been a contractor for years - some contracts have lasted longer than any permanent job I have ever had, some unfortunately are not quite so long.  I am in a much better place mentally than I was last year - it was a good contract for restoring faith in my ability - apparently, I'm an expert (according to my boss...)   not quite sure about that though....although I will concede that I'm not too bad  .  

hugs to all other buds.
xxx


----------



## 1972

Hey curly

Those are supplements honest! Lol. See all the comments, how do ii explain why I'm taking fish oils, bee propolis, co enzyme, well women conception, cordyceps and something for my iBS!! Lol. 

I'm glad you are feeling better than last year. Hope work sorts itself out. You are an expert xxxxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello my lovely cheesecake buddies

Kat - if you are checking FF and not snow boarding and enjoying life - I will be a very cross squirrel   so hope you are not reading this, and focussing on time away.   xx

Hi Hanna - hope the meds going well, and thank you for the cheesecake suggestion! Really hope you get your thyroid sorted, and you can feel less tired. Xx

Honor - hey buddy, hope all the moving stress is sorted and not long now until you go, and soon you will be settled with dh. You lucky sausage. Thank you for caring about me, will PM you soon, you have me intrigued   xx

Hi Carey - thank you for the hug, and really hope dh finds work asap and that when you go back, it isnt too horrible xx

Maisiemoo - hello stranger  , good luck with your concoction of pills, and let us know...really sorry to see the amh but not all is lost my dear. Thank you for your kind words, I wish we could wave a magic wand for each of us   xx

Curly - thank you for being a cheerleader for me. Am so glad you are in a better place than last year, who knows what 2013 can bring.   xx

Everyone - thank you for letting me jump right back onto the thread, and be all 'me, me, me, me i need support again'. Means so much that you all still care. I care about you all very much. Xx

AFM, best friend pg and complete meltdown. Something always blind sides you when you are finally getting through the poisonous dark cloud of bfn land. Tear ducts exhausted, lot of emotion let out, and bad times to come. But, gone back to work and they dont think i am the freak i assumed they would all think i am, for being signed off due to distress post bfn  .... Been working on self help, need to sort my issues out about my sense of failure and defectiveness and helplessness and all that jazz. Just need to have the strength to put the coping mechanisms into place. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow  . Am going to make the effort to go to friends for thai takeaway, wine and hot tub tonight - they are 'emotionally safe' as no baby chat. Sorry to be miserable again, bit up and down. Love to you all and have a good weekend xxxxxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Pooky! Sending hugs and hope all well your end, thought i had posted to you but obviously hadnt! Didnt want you to think i had forgotten you my lovely friend xx


----------



## Pookychops

Squirrel - sending you a huge hug   I hope you managed to enjoy your night out. Just keep breathing and take one step at a time and everything will be ok.

Curly - don't be so hard on yourself. You are fabulous at your job. You wouldn't keep on getting work if you weren't  

Maisie - I really don't know how you get through the morning on a bowl of Special K! That stuff just doesn't fill me up. Mind you, all of those vitamins are probably helping to fill you up.  

Hanna - I hope the sniffing is going ok and that it doesn't taste too horrible. I've got my fingers and toes crossed for you!

Hello to everyone else   sorry not been on much but I don't seem to have much time. Everything is going well but I've been finding it quite hard lately but I think I'm starting to get through it now I've worked how out deal with/avoid the grumpy hour or two at the end of the day. All I need now is for dh to start getting home from work at a reasonable hour to help me with bedtime. Oh and Edward has finally found his willy - there's no going back now the poor love. His hand is down there at every opportunity. I guess that's how it will be for him for quite a few years now


----------



## Big hat

Hey ladies,

Pooky - thank you!  Your post about Edward made me chortle out loud - so thank you for that.

Hi to everyone else.

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

I am crap and I am sorry... me and computers don't ever seem to meet any more.... but if Pooky can then I should x

Think about you all .. all the time x

Will read through posts and catch up xx

Back to work next week x


----------



## Hannushka

Hello ladies!
Wow,that new 'please do not offer ...bla bla blah', scared me up there,thought I'd done something wrong  
Squirrel: Hope you are feeling better... I think you really need some time off from the whole IF. I'd suggest just a bit of normal time with no supplements, no alternative therapies, nothing that you do to get to your goal, just Squirrel time and chilling. I swear it worked for me...
Dee: Hello there, don't be sorry, you must be very busy with the little ones  
Pooky: LOL about Ed's willie    
Maisie: Hope your supplements work well. Is this banner up about selling drugs because of you??    I got my fingers and toes crossed for you!!  
Curly: Never put yourself down, your boss was right! You are an expert. Keep that in your head now!!  
Carey: Hope dh finds work soon, we are doing the same for my hubby here... 
Honor: You guys settled now in Germany or you still in U.K? Hope all is well xx
Kat: You must be skiing away, I am soooo jealous! Maybe next year we have enough money to go...
AFM: So, day 4 on Menopur. Just injected my meds and sort of like the twingey feeling, knowing that the meds have gone in. Had my scan on wed, lining was all thin, there was apparently couple of tiny little follicles on left which could also be tiny little endometriomas, nothing to worry about apparently. On the right side, however there was a huge looking 'thing' doctor couldn't say whether it was a big follicle or endometrioma, if it is a follicle, ,the treatment is doomed as it shouldn't have grown yet, at least not so big, we are hoping it is an endometrioma which apparently wont affect the tx. Next scan is tuesday. I am a bit worried as I don't really have any symptoms apart from tiny little twinges evry now and again and period like pain in the mornings... DH doesn't let me even mention anything negative though  I am positive, much more positive than last time, am not taking any supplements apart from normal multi-vitamin, just trying to drink enough and saty de-stressed...
I shall keep you informed on any progress
xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi Hanna 

Everything crossed for you.... Just seen the banned, wasn't sure what you were talking about! Keep us posted how you are doing xxxxx


----------



## ma-me28

hi all just quick post to say im still lurking and think of you all, not much to report from me apart from I will be joining unemployed in 4 weeks.x


----------



## Pookychops

Hi Ma-me - that's not good news re work. It's a shame you don't live closer as I could hire you as a nanny. You're so good with the little ones. Have you had another round of treatment?

Hanna - fingers crossed that the drugs will do their thing and work wonders on you.

Gladys - how's work? Are you back full or part time? I meant to meet up with you before u went back as you're not too far away..... I think about a lot of social stuff and then promptly forget about it. I wish people could read my mind on such matters

Squirrel - you've gone quiet. I hope you're ok. Sending you a huge hug xxx

Kat - hope you're ok too xxx

Carey - happy first birthday to Oliver. Did u have a party?

Curly - hello 

Thinking of you all and hoping that you're ok

Pooky xxxx


----------



## Gladys07

Hi All

How are you? Your crap friend here. xx I am now so awful at replying to emails and texts.. sorry

*Pooky *- where abouts are you? I went back to work this week, and had to cut it short as Stanley has an ear infection in both ears and conjunctivitis. I am three days so we can still meet up x

*Ma- Me* - Hope work situation perks up for you xx

*Hanna * - lots of positive thoughts for you            I will be thinking of you x

*Curly* - how are you? Another chortle for you, when I give Stanley something to play with to distract him when changing nappy he has to put it on his willy. Not great when its your glove and he has done a wet poo x Curly what is it you do again, incase I hear of anything?

*Squirrel* - sending you a huge virtual hug xxx     

*Carey* - Hope works pick up for hubby. Happy first almost birthday to Oliver x

*Honor* - Hugs to you and Baby M good luck with move

*Kat *- How was Les Mis? Please send my love to Karen

Hello to anyone I have missed as off to get some food now before I flake.

AFM : Stanley was one last week and wasn't himself and has been ill on my first week back at work. sods law I say.

Will coem and say go again soon xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hello ladies! anyone online! panic kicking in and need advicE!! due to take trigger shot at 23pm tonight, i think im ovulating already, boobs sore, cm,everything :O Can it be


----------



## Gladys07

Dob't worry Hanna you can't ovulate on the surpressant drugs and CM and boobs will just be a symptom of hormones xx Relax and good luck x


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there, 
gone quiet again...
So, just a little update from my side of the world...
So, with 400IU doses of menopur for 9 days, all we got was 2 big follies and few small ones. That is a major disappointment considering that I had the same dose in U.K. and ended up with 16 follies. Maybe all that stress I went through last time, all the grape juice, overdose on vitamins and Acupuncture did help after all  
Yesterday I had EC, and no, I hadn't ovulated early, don't know where that   came from... 
We managed to get eggs from both 2 big follies and and egg from one of the smaller ones that dr had assumed weren't good enough for collection. They said they'll call if they do not fertilize and haven't had a call as of yet, ET booked for tomorrow at 14:00 (12 noon U.K time) so if I don't get a call b4 then, all should be going ahead... I am too scared to be happy yet, haven't had the best of times lately...so hard to believe that my luck could be changing. DH left today for U.K to work for few months as we have so much going on here and no money to pay for it. Gonna be hard times especially if this fails to go through it alone but gotta be done...
I hope you guys are all good    
Wish me luck, ladies xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - I've got my fingers and toes all crossed for you. I hope they are getting jiggy tonight and ET will go ahead as planned tomorrow. Sorry that dh is heading back here for work. On the plus side you have your family and friends around you (i hope im right remembering that you've moved back home to where family is) Do they know? Can they give support? I know it's not the same as hubby tho.  

I had a cycle where I didn't get many eggs even though I had the same drugs each time. It's just your body reminding you that it is in charge despite all of the drugs  - well that's what I think. They just say that it's different every time.

Anyway big hug and thinking of you xxxxxx

We've all got colds here and we can't go out until babies stop wheezing   I'm hoping they'll be better by the end of the week as once I get better I shall go truly mad!


----------



## Gladys07

Hanna sending you all the luck and positive vibes xx


----------



## Nordickat

Lots of luck Hanna. Congratulations on your bonus egg too. Quality not quantity remember and they are bound to be better quality since their mummy is home in the Finnish fresh air now.


 


Pooky I hope the wheezing stops before you finally lose the plot    


Ma-me - sorry about your job situation   


 Dee, Maisie, Curley and anyone else browsing, 
Kaxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hubby has just added norovirus to the mix. Lets hope it doesn't spread to the rest of us!


----------



## Nordickat

put him straight into the spare room and give him his own bathroom to use. The alcohol antibac stuff is no good on norovirus - soap and water is all you can do. No touching babies before he´s washed his hands.


----------



## Hannushka

Hello ladies,
*Thanks for all the support.*   
I have had a 4 cell embryo transferred in today. The small one was under developed and didn't fertilize and the second one fertilized but stopped growing this morning. At first when I went in, they said it was only 2cell grade4 embryo but as they went to get it for transfer the lab woman said it had divided more and is now a 4 cell. 
I'm quite gutted that I have none to freeze as the next time I can do tx is around august if this fails as have to join the queue again... Well I shall take super easy now, been lying down since came home with legs elevated to support bloodflow(my own invention  ). 
Also upgraded water intake as nurse said to me on EC that I am severely de-hydrated, to the point that my blood was almost black and she couldn't get to any of my veins on my hands and had to put the drip in my upper arm. I just forget to drink as I never feel thirsty. Now I have made a pact with myself that I have a glass of water every time I go to kitchen, I managed 15 glasses yesterday. At work it will be a bit harder...
But regardless, I am officially PUPO. 
Please pray for me ladies xx          
Oh, and * Pooky* : I hope the ugly Noro goes away, I haven't had that sort of bug since my childhood but my friend's whole family has got it atm and they're son had to be taken to hospital to a drip last night as he was so poorly 
And to all of you:


----------



## Gladys07

Hanna - thinking     for you xx

Pooky - we all had it here as Kat said STEP AWAY FROM THE MAN and he should stay away from work and people 48 hours after last symptom x


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - wow you're pupo  just take it easy and look after yourself. I've got everything crossed for you. Xxxx


As for noro - I got it last night Babies seem ok so far. Sadly no spare room or loo in this house. Hubby has been cleaning bathroom like mad after each incident. I'll get the bleach out in a bit when I feel able.


----------



## Twinklie

Hi darling buds,

I know, I'm useless at writing. I hated writing on the iPad and now that I'm back using the computer a couple of days a week I've lost the habit of writing here. 

I've been reading now and then though, and definitely wanted to wish *Hanna *good luck, thinking of you with everything crossed!

Pooky - sorry you're both ill. We had it too a while ago but little H didn't get it. He has had a lot of colds, just finished the fourth one this year. Thankfully he wasn't sick at all the first 6 months.

Hope everyone else is OK. Things are good here, it's so much more fun now than in the beginning when we were just exhausted all the time. H is crawling, climbing on furniture and is usually in a good mood and so entertaining.

Right, almost time for our walk. Beautiful weather here today, I'm so looking forward to spring and summer.

Bye for now 

PS. Wow, that's a big warning not to sell left over drugs! I was just thinking what a shame it was to have all that Clexane and Gestone lying around. So much money and not helping anyone. Oh well...


----------



## Twinklie

Wasn't going to say anything yet, but check out my signature...   
Early days...


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - I´ll make praying my full time job this next 2 weeks   
Twinklie - It must be something in the Gøteborg air   Never in your wildest dreams hey? Congratulations!


----------



## Hannushka

*Twinklie: * OMG! Congrats!!
Everyone: thanks for support, going mad already symptom spotting. Went to work and pretended to be really ill so I got to do a sitting down job today, and came straight home to lie down with feet up 
*Question:* Can I have a sauna after ET I really feel like going and can't find anything on google...


----------



## Hannushka

Oops, I googled in English now and I suppose it is a no-no... damn!


----------



## Big hat

Hey ladies,

Hanna - hurrah on being pupo!!!!!!! Beaming positive vibes your way    xx

Twinklie - hey, hey, get you natural bfp lady  .  Well done honey - beaming you positive vibes too    xx

Pooky - it doesn't get any easier for you does it?    Just keep telling yourself ' I am a trooper, and my mother's day present better be pretty darn good!!'  

Gladys - back at work so soon. Bless.  

Ma-me - sorry about the work situation - it's poo-ey with an extra sprinkle of poo on top.   x

Maisie - any news from you?  

Kat - good to see you dipping your toe in  

Hi to anyone else - Karen, Squirrel and an other ladies - thinking about you x

Afm- nader and nothing really - boring old job-hunting, relishing the days the sun shines and I'm not up to my knees in boggy mud and rain, and trying to take control of my weight so that I don't recoil from mirrors or cameras anymore  .  xxx


----------



## ma-me28

evening all
hanna congrats on being pupo hun
twinklie wow another natural bfp congrats hun
pooky hope you get better soon and that the pookettes dont get ill, thanks for job offer lol you are bit out the way though  
curly hope you find work soon.x
hi to everyone else.x


----------



## Hannushka

Hi ladies,
I feel like a right numpty going on about my panic here, but I just have to let it out somewhere... 
Day 2 after transfer. AF-like symptoms BIG time, started yesterday. Pain going down my left thigh and pressing feeling in my abdomen. As a progesterone support they gave me this LUTINUS tablet things, that I have to stick in there with this really odd and uncomfortable inserting machine. They are supposed to be less messy but they're not.
I have really a lot of white stuff coming out   and at times watery like cm. Can't remember it being this bad with the other progesterone things, though I was putting them to the back passage, this packet says 'only vaginal' and I think they would be rather hard to get to the back anyhows, even the thought of it makes me shrug. My boobs aren't really as sore as they were before, only the nipples ever so slightly... And before you say, I'm clearly NOT symptom spotting, no no no! HEEEEEEEEELP!   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Much love to you all, sorry to be a me-me-posting silly sausage. Talking about sausage, I'm hungry, going to make a sarnie, Ta Da!


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh hanna - the joy of the 2ww and you're there only two days in  I feel for you my dear. You need distractions. I had lots of odd discharge with my pessaries. They were horrible  the morning one would normally come out on my walk to the station in the morning - it was not nice. Just try and stay calm and don't obsess - hard I know. Just remember that the symptoms are different every time. 

Twinklie - congratulations! You must be over the moon. Two naturals after so many treatments

Squirrel - hope u ok. I need pet advice. Bessie cat has stopped eating cat food. She had some tuna earlier and then some chicken but don't eat her food. Her brother is the same by he will have a bit of cat food. They both seem ok and are playing. I know cats can go off their food for a bit but I'm worrying a bit about my little fluffy ones. At what point do I take them to the vets?


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - how are you today?


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there  
Pooky: Well, went to work yesterday, pain in ovaries has subsided, just few little twinges every now and again. No breast soreness apart from nipples if I touch them, but I faintly remember I was doing the same on my 1st IVF, I was so LOOKING for the breast soreness, I kept pulling and poking the boobs till I felt that 'YES, definitely sore!'    

I have counted that today should be the day it sticks to the wall if it will and my af will arrive in 5 days. To this conclusion I have come because:
- I had a 2 day old ****ty embie thrown in on wednesday
- It starts hatching on day 5 (saturday)
- And today it'll find itself a place to stick. 
- Last time I had 5 day blasts put in, both times
- MY af came 6 days after ET on first time and I think day 7 on FET so, if this had been a 5day blast, it would've gone in yesterday, so 6 days from yesterday the af will arrive.
This is a very accurate and based on my highly considerable medical knowledge. 
With sincere love, 
self acclaimed fertility DR Hanna
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

SO, SO sorry for my lack of posting recently... I hope you'll forgive me... There's been such a lot going on and I've had a lot on my mind... Baby M and I are now in Germany and I'm incredibly homesick and at times worried DH and I were apart too long and have things changed between us, can I really ope with being here... To be fair, DH IS trying and I know I need to be more patient with him as he adapts to being a papa, hopefully we'll soon settle into family life and my worries prove unfounded.

On a lighter note, much of my time at the moment seems to be taken up with the un-rolling of a very roly-poly baby who's also determined to get herself crawling to give me a bit more exercise!

Anyhow, enough about me... I'm pleased to see that the thread has been active recently, with posts from some old faces.

Hanna: I especially feel bad for not having been on radar earlier for you. I see you haven't escaped the 2WW madness! I know it's kind of fruitless saying so, but try not to worry about just having had the 1 embie for transfer - it really is quality over quantity and this could very well be your winner! Sending you lots of positive vibes. Thinking about you...

Twinklie: Wow! Congratulations! You must be astounded! 

Pooky: You poor things! Hope you're all back to good health soon, kitties included. My beloved fur baby is being looked after by my parents til I collect himend of Apri, missing him SO much...

Ma-me: Sorry to read your job news... Hope something comes up soon, will be keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Kat: How are you? Been on any crazy adventures recently? 

Dee: Did you say you're back at work now? How are you finding that? 

Curly: Hugs to you!

Anyone I've missed: Hugs to you all too. 

Thought about you all often, even if I have continued to be a rubbish poster...

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

Just a quickie.. Hanna you haven't got a bad embryo!!! Think positive. Stanley was a 2 day 4 cell. grade 2... x


----------



## rachel1972

honor , try to give it a while you have got a lot to catch up really hope things improve for you. xxx

hanna big hugs im not really sure there is anything i can say except the whole waiting game is exhausting, take care of yourself.xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

A quick check in from me... 

Hanna- fab news. Positive thinking please!!!!! The 2ww is just awful. Please try and relax and look after yourself. I have everything crossed for you. Xxxxx

Honor- sorry to hear things are a bit weird in Germany. I'm sure it must be really hard to settle in but in time you grow more accostomed to it. Xxxx

Twinklie- wow, congrats. You lucky lady!

AFM - spent jan taking tamoxifen ( like clomid) and trying naturally , didn't work. Then took additional tests with serum in Greece, diagnosed with infection so now on one month if strong antibiotics that are killing me!!! Then... Who knows. I'm bored of it all, it's been going on too long for me and we need to start reviewing other options. I'm 41 now, times ticking!

Love to you all xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Good morning,

Hanna - hang in there! The 2ww is torture, we all know it. And you won't know anything until otd, just the way it is. Keeping everything crossed for you!

Kat - I was thinking the same thing when you mentioned the Finnish air to Hanna.   My body does seem to have gone a bit bananas since I moved back to Sweden. How are you? Still no plans to go back to the ttc madness?

Maisie - I was going to go to Serum if I hadn't got pregnant with H. I had it all planned. I think it's an excellent choice, and hopefully your infection will clear quickly now.

Honor - sorry you're not happy in Germany. It's a long way from home, and probably feels even more so with a baby.   

I have a scan tomorrow but to be honest I don't think this pregnancy will work out. Almost no symptoms and the clearblue indicator is stuck at 2-3 weeks where really it should have been at 3+ weeks for at least a week now. Seems to indicate m/c as far as I can google... Still, looking forward to tomorrow so we'll know one way or another! Just hope it's not an ectopic again, really don't want to lose my only tube.   

Hi to Rachel, Dee, Pooky, ma-me, curly and everyone else, including those of you who are lurking


----------



## Twinklie

Forgot to add - are you all on ********? I'm not super active on ******** but it's still a good way to keep in touch.


----------



## Nordickat

Twinklie - no flippin' way I'm getting back onto the tx bandwagon! I've served my time. I was stopped from doing anymore because I was too unstable but so much time has passed that I'm now at peace with our childfree future. Don't get me wrong, some days it still hurts like crazy, but other days, the majority in fact, its the best decision ever made. To be honest, we are so far down the 'moving on' road that a baby would through a spanner in the works big time! I hope you are wrong and your little surprise is sticking tight xxx 

Mais - sorry for such a short reply the other day when you need more. I'm flat on my back waiting for back surgery and the constant pain is making me exhausted and miserable. I am thinking of you lots and will be back when I've got some better drugs ;-)

Dr Hanna - still praying for you over here. Be brave xxx

Hi everyone else and hugs to you all, big and small.
Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

Twinklie - I hope you are wrong and the scan proves you have another sweet bundle on the way.

Hanna - STOP CHECKING!!!!   

Honor - bless - I really think that you kept this thread going for a while - a bit of time out for you is on the cards.   xx

Kat - Now it's your back!!   - my you really push your body - er, is skiing/snowboarding supposed to be a good idea if you have back problems? Now, I ain't no doctor but I'm thinking probably not........ x

Maisie - good on you for going to Serum.  If its the hidden C you're being treated for then, yes, the antibiotics are horrible - there is a PCR thread and a few seem to suggest a number of things to stop the horrible nausea.  I think that, for me, it settled down after a week or so anyway.  DH may have had toast or something with his.  either way, we're rooting for you. xxx  

Ma-me - hope you get work soon too.

Rachel - hope all ok in your world. xxx 

Gladys, Carey, Pooky, Squirrel et al - sending you hugs.

xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Lol, I can only walk if I have crutches so my snowboarding/skiing season is well and truly over. And in all honesty it's not possible to make it any worse. The next stage is losing bladder control which means straight to A&E but before the agony started I just had a warm wet feeling around my knee so it was back to good old knicker checking days to see if I'd pee'd myself. Same old [email protected], just different reasons lol.


----------



## Hannushka

*Twinklie*: I wish you best of luck for the scan tomorrow     I'm on **. Let me know if you can't find me, can't remember if I've loosened my privacy settings 
*Honor:* Sorry to hear you are having bad times in Germany, I'm sure it is just taking time to adapt to live as a family now as you were apart so long. I hope things get better soon 
*Everyone else*: more thank you's for all your support. You are right and I am right too... but as I know, there is nothing I can do. I've cried today and yesterday... but so far af stayed away... by friday it'll be here, probably tomorrow. I have now stabbing pains in my left arm, which I had in 2006 on the day I miscarried... so either that or I'm having a cardiac arrest (same symptom I've heard ) so if I put it that way... af doesn't sound so bad option... 
Happy vibes &  to you all xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - I hope you have survived your cardiac arrest and are recovering nicely   hang in there. Not long to go now.

Kat - poor you. Back pain is evil. I've been there and it's not nice. It consumes you and it's impossible to get rid of. I hope the surgery helps you. I was lucky in that after a year or so of progressive pain, ending up in me not being able to move, acupuncture got rid of all of the pain. I still can't believe that it worked but it did and I've not looked back. Long recovery though and I live in slight fear of the next prolapse. Do you have long to wait? I hope pooch is recovering also.

Maisie - I hope you adjust to the antibiotics soon. Spending you a big hug.i hope serum does the trick for you. You mention other options - would you consider adoption? That was my back up plan but dh wasn't convinced about it. i think i would have won him round in the end though. i hope Maisie cat is ok. 

Twinklie - how did you get on today? 

Honor - sorry that settling into your new life hasn't been that easy. It must be hard as you've been apart for so long and so much has changed for you in that time. I hope it gets easier and that you and dh are back on track. Skype soon? 

Squirrel - I hope silence means you are ok. We're still here for you. Ignore my previous moggie request. It turns out that I have very fussy moggies. They won't eat Felix or whiskers. I moved them onto waitrose essential and they loved it and then decided to stop eating it. They now like sainsburys own brand bit I still have lots of waitrose essential left and no amount of treats will make them eat it.

I'm off to mums next week as dh is off snowboarding. I also had a job interview today. Not sure how it went. It was the first discussion I've had in 8 months that hasn't been cut off with having to sort a baby out. My brain wasn't entirely in gear as I've got a permanent sinus headache at the moment and to top it all my blocked tear duct released part way through the interview and my left eye started crying.... I was so embarrassed! They asked me if I was ok and if they'd made me cry.

Hello to everyone else!


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

I'm on my tablet, which is frustratingly slow, so I'll try and keep it brief, apologies then if I miss out anyone... nothing personal!

Hanna: How are you? I imagine all on edge... I hope you're managing to keep busy and are not spending too much time on Google - naughty! Thinking about you...

Twinklie: I hope your fears are unfounded and that all is well with miracle no. 2...

Maisie: Lovely to hear from you and pleased to hear there are still options n play. I've heard nothing but good things about Serum so am sure you're in good hands. I can though understand how exhausted you must feel by the whole process and so am sending you positive vibes and strength as you pursue new avenues.

Kat: Poor you! Sounds horrendous... Hope you are on the mend soon. Take it easy...

Curly: I'm sorry, I'm totally rubbish and can't remember your post (and daren't scroll back on this contraption in case I lose my post!)... I do though remember you had kind words for me in my time of homesickness, so thank you for those! Any news your end?

Pooky: Your interview tale made me chuckle! What's the job doing? Fingers crossed it's good news!
Your kitties sound very much like our old family cat! Neo would eat anything he could get his paws on but Neddy is a bit more fussy.

Oh, baby stirring from nap so better go!

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey friendies,
just thought to update you all... Day 10 after ET today, meaning it would've been my test-day, however, after the little embie fighting so hard to hold on (I felt it fighting, really did!!) the wicked witch arrived this morning. 
And no, not spotting, full vengeance so no umming and arring needed. Over and out, literally.

But as I said, I knew it, so when I went to the toilet this morning and saw the red monster, I heard this: 



It's from my favourite EVER Commodore 64 game (feel old now). But hearing that scream in my head, I actually chuckled to myself. 
The nightmare, the waiting was over. It wasn't the result I wanted, but it really isn't the end of it.
I'm now calling the clinic monday and demand they start checking auto-immune issues. I have psoriasis, and I have under-acting thyroid which both are auto-immune issues, and when you think about it; psoriasis is when your body attack the healthy skin cells, I am 100% confident that the same is happening inside me, my body is attacking the embies and preventing them from sticking. I really should be a doctor.


----------



## Pookychops

Oh hanna huge   to you. I'm so sorry that it didn't work. I had everything crossed for you. Have they checked you for thyroid antibodies? I made them do that with me as that can impact things. Have a large glass of something tonight. Xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Oh Hanna I'm so sorry. I've been hoping so hard for you. It sounds like this cycle was a good learning experience and you'll be coming back fighting soon xxx I hope you have somebody there to give you a big squeeze (((hugs)))
Katxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Pooky - I had acupuncture today and jeez was it the most painful experience of my life. I was begging her to stop at one point which is saying something because I'm a tough old bird when it comes to pain. I think it might have helped a tiny bit though, although short lived, so I just need to pluck up the courage to do it again. 

Sounds like wales just scored a try judging by the cheering coming from the tv room. Best go check.

Hello to everyone else
Katxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Thanks ladies, 
*Pooky:* Thyroid antibodies not checked, only the 'basic' test and even then the gp didn't want to give me meds, only after I went to another gp, she actually called the ivf clinic for consultance and they told her to prescribe 25mikrograms thyroxin. My aim is to up the meds as tsh has only gone from 4,6 to 3,6 since starting meds last summer, I'd like it to be under 3 as I read it helps. + of course get the antibodies checked and EVERYTHING. They are better here than my clinic in U.K for doing tests, I've heard. 
*Kat*: Hope your back gets better soon! How did the acupuncturist manage to cause you so much pain? Were they doing some extra stimulating on them or something??

I was literally just thinking to start acupuncture again in the lead up to next tx, after all, when I had 16 eggs in U.K , I was doing Acu, here I didn't, neither did I do any extra vitamins apart from basic multivitamin (without A) an I got 3. Maybe its not all BS afterall... hmmm


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna you just have to decide on the path of least regret. If you wish you had taken a few extra multivitamins this time then you should probably take them next time. I suspect you just got unlucky though and maybe all you need is to get your TSH down a wee bit more. Its good you have faith in your gp and clinic though, that makes a big difference.

I'm not sure if I said what was wrong but my prolapse is massive and completely crushing the nerves on one side. The result is numbness in places and then extreme agony in others all down one leg. She put the pins in my pain points on my other leg and it seriously hurt. Also lying down really hurts too so I just had pain from all directions. It's only because I had never met her before that she didn't get a torrent of abuse from me. If I could have moved I would have probably punched her! Next time hey ;-)


----------



## ma-me28

hanna so sorry hun hope you get the answers you are looking for, i am hoping to get more tests done before our next cycle
kat hope your back improves and you manage to persevere with acupuncture
pooky how interesting with the thyroid antibodies i have been tested and showed positive for the antibodies but when I asked my doctor i got told it shouldnt effect getting pregnant.x 
a big hello to everyone else


----------



## Honor77

Big hug for Hanna... As prepared as you may have been for a visit from the witch, it must still hurt, but it's good you're looking forward and of things to have checked out. Pooky is right, get your thyroid antibodies checked. TSH should be between 1 and 2 for ttc... if only the thyroid specialist in Wales had known this, when she knew we were ttc, perhaps it wouldn't have taken us so long and saved us a lot of heartache on the way. It was the fertility consultant who pointed this out and insisted I came off the meds. Not that our initial diagnosis was FF, but that then was established when cycling and I'm sure coming off the meds and getting my thyroid levels correct made a hell of a difference to us on our journey.

Hug for you too Kat - Please try and refrain from walloping the acupuncturist though! Hope DH is pampering to your every need and taking good care of pooch while you're out of action.

Hi Pooky, hope everyone's getting better with you!

Squirrel: Hope you're ok? Thought would send out a quick post to you to thank you for your mail- sorry, am a bit rubbish with mailing at the moment.

Hugs to everyone else and ope you're all enjoying your weekend!

AFM: Getting there... Had lovely day out today. Furniture building and unpacking continues tomorrow... Have met some lovely mamas and babies, by chance really, at a sort of group, which has helped. Things with DH slowly getting back on track.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## 1972

So sorry to hear that Hanna- big hugs for you . I'm kind up for testing as I wish id had testing beforehand as I feel like I wasted my 3 goes. I've had this infection years and could have been reason for my blocked tubes. Do you have follow up there?? Xxxxxxxx

Glad to hear you are more settled Honor x

Pooky- Maisie loves whisk as oh so fishy, won't eat anything else now ;-) good luck re job 
Xx

Kat- oh my, you sound in a bad way :-( I hope you get some relief soon , sounds awful .. I'm ok, I can wait for you to feel better ;-) xxxxx

Twinkle- ant more news? Xx

Hi to everyone else. I've got ureaplasma infection not hidden C. Still suffering 2 weeks in, constant diarrhoea and its getting depressing. Ruined my day yesterday and very embarrassing at work :-(((( 

Went to lunch at browns in Mayfair yesterday- the place some of us Buds met about 18 months ago . Thought if you all xxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Ooo, Hanna, I am so so sorry. It stinks it really does!  it's great that you are looking at/for solutions - I'm with Hanna and Pooky re: TSH being between 1-2. If you explain to your GP they should be able to up your meds - and they take about 3 months to take effect (for you to be tested again). At least that could a timeframe for your next go   . xx

Kat - ooof! That sounds painful, although I do kind of like your approach to painful scenarios - verbal abuse with a suggestion of physical violence  . I tend to go down the silent route with maybe an escaped tear or so   xx

Pooky - speaking of water escaping from your eye - how did the interview go? Hope you're having a relaxing time with your mother. xxx

Maisie - ureaplasma? Well, fingers crossed this is the final hurdle for you  . Saw on ** that you were at Brown's - and thought about the bud meet up too - bless - how time flies.  

Ma -me - hope thing's ticking on ok for you - hoping you get a job soon. xxx

Honor - glad things are getting there with you - nesting is always a therapeutic process I think - all the stress of moving etc seems to lessen as your home takes shape  

hugs to all

xxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hi darlings,

Sorry to have been awol -mixture of denial, not coping, needing a break and needing to avoid FF and all the happy news and also been trying to re connect with friends. Doesnt that sound awful of me? I am so happy for all the people with happy news but I cant cope with it half the time. Bad squirrel.

Hanna - i wanted happy news for you and i am really really sorry that the witch has arrived. I want to send massive hugs and also to say how well i think you are doing despite it all. You have plans, you have strength and you have focus. Keep brave and sefinitely get your immunes checked. Again - i am truly sorry you didnt get your wish but i know you will.   xx

Kitten kat - ouch ouch ouch ouch, no words can do your pain justice. I wish we could magic it away. I am glad the acupuncture helped a bit but sad it was such pain during. Am here for you anytime. Bet dh happy with the rugby and hope your boys are looking after you.   from your posh squirrel   xx

Honor -   and be brave in your new home. Glad you got my email and sending lots of love xx

Maisie - hope you got my email? How are you doing buddy?   for you too. Have you tried lots of probiotics and perhaps some fibre suplements? Xx

Curly - hi buddy, how you doing?   for you too! Xx

Pooky - am so so so sorry didnt see your kitty post! Feel free to text anytime re catties. Glad they are just being naughty and fussy as opposed to being ill! More   to you too xx

Twinklie - thinking of you and dont give up hope xx

Everyone - thanks for letting me flit in and out of here. It is really appreciated xx

AFM - why is it that if you have a good day or two and you think maybe, just maybe things can improve-does something always bite you on the proverbial?! I am actually afraid to be happy because when I start feeling that odd emotion  , something always happens! Grr, am just tired and need oestrogen! And chocolate. And wine. Though had too much of that last night...am just whining really, am not too bad, just in limbo and had too many happy pregnant people and babies in my face xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Just a quick one from me as i am ill with fever and have been for a good few days now. Been awful!

Hanna - so so sorry.   Dont forget to take a test anyway if you havent, v important.

Scan Ok on wednesday but had m/c confirmed on friday. Back in tomorrow to see if it's all gone. It's ok, we're sad but just want it to be over now.

Will write more when feeling better.


----------



## Big hat

Oh Twinklie - I'm so sorry. I hope yesterday wasn't too traumatic - which I'm sure it was but I hope you know what I mean  . xxxx

Hey Squirrel - good to see you  . Thank you for the hug - I kind of needed it on Friday  

Sending a big   to everyone else but thought I should just do this post for Twinklie and Squirrel.

xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Twinklie - I'm so sorry xxx


----------



## 1972

Sorry to hear that twinkle xxxxxx  I hope you feel better soon and are able to make some plans for the way forward xxx

Still on the tablets- one more week to go!! Anyone know why we are on them for a month?!?!


----------



## Pookychops

Twinklie - so sorry   awful news and so much of it about lately. Wishing you a speedy physical recovery. 

Will message properly next week. On my teeny tiny phone at my mums at the mo. I have another cold and not had much sleep since arriving here on Saturday as babies keep waking. Hubby snowboarding


----------



## rachel1972

Hi Hanna sounds like you are being very strong and still got a sense of humor, good luck with the further tests your gut instinct is prob right, dont let them talk you out of it.  lots of love xx  i will be in helsinki on 11th august if you want to meet up for dinner if you there it would be lovely.  


Maisie not sure what that all is but sounds horrid hope you are all better soon.xx

Hi to Curly, pooky, kat, honor, twinkle and everyone else.

afm still not got a school for my little boy , have tried everything seems that in this county schools are allowed to get away with anything when it comes to SEN children. have requested the original school now so waiting to hear back.  trying to not bang my head too much, sent of forms for a discrimination tribunal as solicitor has been useless and just wanted more money! We have another ongoing police investigation which i wont go into detail but looks like it might come to court too so been a very wired past 8 months but now spring is here we can see the light again even if it is snowing out today.  keep the faith people. really wish you all the very best . xx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Just a quick post with a virtual hug for Twinklie... so sorry...

And while I'm at it, virtual hugs for Hanna, rachel & everyone else in need of one.

1 last thing: Anyone know what happened to Karen? If you're lurking, do post and let us know how you are...

xxx


----------



## Carey

Hello buds.

Sorry ive not logged on for a while, time has just slipped away once again.

Firstly id just like to say how sorry i am to hear of your sad news Twinklie and Hanna..... big     sent to you both.

So how is everyone? Kat, Curly, Maisie, Mel, Rachel, Honnor, Squirrel....

Pooky, hope your household is bug free now? Ive had Broncitis also the S&D Bug.... not a great week. xx

Thank you to those who wished Oliver a Happy Birthday, He had a lovely day & Yes we had a big family party  
Since turning one, he has learnt to crawl (nothing is now safe) he chaters away none stop, duck... quack quack, clock... tick, tick, Ted Ted, car, dog... the list is endless    

Hubby has now found another job and ive gone back part time (not liking it one bit) i just think everydays work is a little bit of money to treat Oliver to a day out.

So after loads of bad weather, tomorrow is meant to be nice and sunny   Hope yo lovely ladies have a lovely day and enjoy some well over due sunshine.

Lots of love to you all xxxxx


----------



## Nordickat

You're not the only one who hasn't been here for ages Carey, me neither. Enjoy your nice weather. I think you all deserve it. We have had a glorious spring so far ..... my parents have stopped calling because they are sick if such depressing news lol. 

Honor - I don't think Karen comes on FF any longer. Squirrel and i speak to her lots though, in fact we spoke just yesterday, and she is doing good  Sorry I didn't reply on Skype but I was on the phone. I considered trying to multitask but imagined myself having a completely inappropriate phone call with my boss if I got muddled up lol. 

Rachel big hugs for you. It's sounds like life us still throwing its worst at you xxx

Pooky - where did DH go this year? We are thinking Japan next year 

Maisie - I hope you are doing ok? It must be a relief to be off the tablets. I remember them only too well, although I think I suffered much less than you. Do you have a plan now then? I hope so, it always helps I think, it doesn't matter what the plan is probably, just having something to focus on a good.

Hi everyone else too xxx

Not much to report from me really. I ended up having emergency back surgery just before Easter which wasn't fun. Morphine was my best friend for a month but I'm well on the way to recovery now and a hit a big milestone yesterday and went into the city with no crutches or sticks  I still have a lot if nerve damage to heal and a lot of physio ahead but it's all heading in the right direction. This sedate lifestyle is a killer though when there are so many mountains out there to be conquered ;-)

Lots of love, I know we are all busy with our own lives but I have no doubt that we think of each other at random times of the day.

Take care, katxxx


----------



## lynn1303

Hey fellow cheescakers.  How is it all going? 

I have seen the light at a very dark tunnel and the last few weeks in particular have been good.  Hubs and I spending loads of time together and feeling like a young and in love couple again.  I forgot how much I loved him.  If that makes sense.  

I've taken my first steps on my ivf journey also.  Currently. On cd4 second day of menopur injections and my certrizine starts tomorrow night.  If all goes to plan EC should bewednesday 24/04.  But of course my body like to do its own thing so will believe that as I see it.  

Had a few weeks of hormone pills to induce af and even though I've only been injecting 2 days my skin is awful I feel really tired bad headache and lower tummy and back pains.  Oh he joy as they say.  

Kat hope you are recovering from ur surgery. Morphine is lovely isn't it! How is ur pooch? 

Carey. Did you have a good time celebrating the wee mans birthday? As you say everyday worked is more pennies for the spoil Oliver fund. 


Honor - what would I do without you.  You have never given up on me and I will be eternally grateful for that.  You looking forward to coming home for a bit? How long you visiting for? 

Twinkle.  So sorry to hear ur sad news. :-( 

Big hugs to all the girlies. Pooky Maisie squirrel curly Rachel Hanna.  

I'm on ******** pretty much everyday so if anyone wants my username just pm me.  I did put it on main forum before bit got checked as its a public forum where anyone can see it.  


Xxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Good morning buddies!
Sorry been awol. It has been very busy time so haven't had the time...
*Twinkle*- So sorry to hear of your awful news!  Hope you are ok 
*Kat*- Oh dear, you had to have a surgery?! Hope you are recovering well... Oh I've heard the joys of morphine, never had the chance to try 
*Lynn-* Glad you have found the spark again. It is a lovely feeling to notice every now and again that you really have a good 'catch' as your man 
*Carey-* Glad to hear you both have got work now (even if not liking the job, the money somehow compensates it) Is that how you spell it, looks wrong? compensate, hmmm... can't be bothered to google 
*Honor-* Hope you have settled now, last time I heard you weren't having the greatest of times 
*Rachel*- Happy birthday!   And I wish you a lot of strength in fighing with the bureaucracy (that word I did have to google  ) . Can't believe they can do this. Keep strong there honey xx
*Pooky-* Hope you and family are well xx
*Curly*- How are you? You are a typical you, giving your love and help to us all but how are YOU? Big hugs to you. You have been a light in my dark times always with your wit and helping words... 
*Squirrel*-  Hope you are feeling well... At times that big dark cloud tries to come on top of me too, but I just know I have to put my trainers on and run towards the sun light... Run, baby run!!  
*Maisie*- Hope you are well. How is it all going? 
and who I have forgotten-   to you all!!
*afm*- So, it has been busy times. Hubby is back in U.K for work for few months, just got to get these debts sorted! We are getting there now and I am pleased to say that I can now go to the pawn shop and get back my favourite gold neclace I took there so we could buy xmas prezzies in december. I had blood tests on thursday to check thyroid antibodies, and few other immunes, fsh and amh. I won't be getting the results until end of may though. I might go and visit my Work doctor, apparently he upped my work mates thyroid meds when her tsh was 3,5... I want to get it sorted well before next tx. Our nest tx is now booked for aug/september time... 
I haven't really got much else to report but that today I am gonna anjoy some wino at my sisters housewarming party. Not too much though, working tomorrow, but I haven't had wine for a way too long time. OH, I do have one thing to report. Redundancy. YEP. Company having to save 8 million euros, so they are making every employee,including the bosses redundant for 12 days (obviously not at the same time  ). In a way I think this is a fair and nice way to do it, to put us all on the same line, however, I bet it doesn't really hurt the bosses salary much, when 12 days out of mine, takes several hundred out of my already rather average salary out. Good news is, I have paid way too much tax last year, well,not way too much, a little, so in december I am getting back 320€!!! Hubby getting over 500€ so we are really gonna have a fabulous xmas!
Much love to you all xx


----------



## Hannushka

Hello ladies,
WOW! It has been very quiet here...
I have just had devastating news... Had some blood tests done recently and the results made my heart drop...
FSH is now 15,6!! Doctor says in the letter 'slightly elevated' Not slightly, I say. I was told my FSH was slightly elevated when it was 8 in U.K!!
TPOab was over 1300 and doctor says no need to do anything else but to keep an eye?! Isn't that REALLY high?? 
Celiac antibodies was 8,2 when the limit is 'under 7'. So she admitted I have auto-immune issues but at the same time that nothing will be done about it'?! Well apart from using Prednisolon on my nxt tx. 
I'm sure there must be more I can do!! What can I do to lower fsh?? I'm going to my work doc straight away and get them to up my thyroxin dose... I'm shocked, is this it now? How can this f***ing happen?


----------



## Honor77

Hi hanna, just quick 1, as am on phone & need 2 go 2 sleep but don't panic - if your thyroid levels are unstable or all over the place, they can mess with your FSH readings. I had varying readings from excellent to terrible just in the 3 months they were tested. Once my thyroid was under control, the readings were more similar and fine. Sorry, I don't know anything much about immune testing and improving FSH etc., but I do think all is not lost when you clearly still have issues with your thyroid. Hope you can get the medication/help you need from the doctor. 

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Sorry - only a quickie from me too. Hanna, me lovely, I don't know too much about the other FSH's etc - Honor's advice seems fine though. Also, you could try talking to Agate - she has numerous threads. One of her links about auto-immunes is http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=242395.0

There may be something on there you can read (as I know you will be all over google etc ) that may be able to help. If not, try contacting her direct or via the Serum threads.

Hi, and big hugs to all other buds. Hope you're having a lovely weekend.
xxx


----------



## rachel1972

hi buds

Really sorry Hanna , i dont understand any of the numbers but wish there was something i could say.  xx

Nordi saw you had surgery hope that is all better now xx

only managed to skim though sorry if i missed any other news.  my son is still not in school and dh still working away so get very little time for me, really taking its toll.  

lol xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

and big thank you to you ladies for your msgs...
I have booked another doctor now, and also had a detailed list of things I should do now in my diet & vitamins from Agate  
I send a long list of vitamins and stuff my hubby has to send me and apparently they are in the post now. I hope they don't get stuck at the customs... Shouldn't really as EU country and I haven't paid for them... I decided to get all the meds from UK as they are so much cheaper there, literally I save well over a hundred € by getting them from there  
I also started gluten free diet on saturday, but made a tiny mistake yesterday by eating a tiny bar of liqourice, thinking it doesn't have wheat   . Oh well, have to choose my sweets more carefully... It really is hard! I keep staring at the small texts everywhere and go home with hardly anything, well, meat and veg, loads of veg! Asparagus is my favourite this week, been crunching away for 3 days  
Rachel- Oh dear, any news on if he gets to go to school soon? It's really unbelieavable that they can continue with this even after the stories in the papers  
Curly-   hiyah! hope you are ok xx
Honor- Thank you honey, you calmed me down a bit. I was a wreck when I got the letter but now I am determined to wow them next time they test me. I'm even trying to get myself on DHEA...
Right, I'm off to have a shower and to cook some more asparagus with my chicken...


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Hanna: Glad you have a plan in place, keeping everything crossed that all your hard work pays off. Good luck!

AFM: Sorry haven't posted much recently, having miserable time of things with homesickness & DH. Things don't seem to be improving & feels like we're just growing even further apart. Might be having to face some big decisions so forgive me if I go missing for a while. I do lurk & read, so keep posting all your news & hope to hear some more positive stories soon!

xxx


----------



## MandyPandy

Hanna, with those readings I would say you have Hashimoto's.  Gluten free for coeliac is good, but also go dairy and egg free. You can see from my Sig what the results of doing that have been for me. Also get to a private endocrinologist - I go to Gerard Conway. If you can get a referral, you may be able to see him on the NHS at UCLH. If you need/want any help or advice with it all, I'm more than happy to have a chat with you.

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Thanks Mandy. 
I reside in Finland now, so no NHS for me  
I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow, and will ask at the same time how much seeing endocrinologist will cost. OMG! If I stop dairy and eggs too, I've got nothing left to eat!!!   I swear I will die of starvation!! I'm struggling with the glutein free diet as it is... I'll see what the doctor says


----------



## Hannushka

Morning ladies...
It has been very quiet here... 
Well, my little update...
Went to another doctor yesterday, and YESSS, getting some action! He was utterly suprised that ivf-doc didn't think there was any problem in having over 1300 antibodies for thyroid. He said it is clear that there is an active inflammation which has to be treated. 

My thyroxin has been upped to 0,1mg (taking 1/2 one day and 1 on second and so on) He is also ordering all my lab results from hospital and wants to do more blood testing on auto-immunes plus internal endoscopy (not sure if that is the right word) to check the 'hairs' in my bowel/gut to see if it really is coeliacs, however, this diet has made me feel so much better, I'm sticking to it regardless.

I got my hubby to send me 

200mcg selenium
1000mg fish oil capsules
pregnacare conception, 
30mg co-enzyme q10
300mg evening primrose (for b4 tx)

Problem is... The selenium tablets contain glutein... Also, pregnacare also contains 50mcg selenium, can you get too much of it?
Should I add vitamin c? now getting 90mg/day + eating 2-3 fruits a day...
what about extra D? is 15mg enough? 
HMMMM... 
Wishing you all    
Hanna


----------



## Pookychops

Hi, 

Sorry I've not been around lately. Poorly babies and not sleeping through the night has meant my brain isn't up to much. 

Hanna - I'm glad that you're getting soemwhere with all of these tests. I don't know how to advise you re supplements. I do know that if you are taking supplements that have iron in them you need a four hour gap between taking those and thyroxine as iron can inhibit the uptake of the thyroxine. It made taking iron a pain for me and I'd always forget! For vitamin d if you are getting out in the sun each day you shouldn't need it but I think they advise it during pregnancy. Fingers crossed that it will all work out for you. Glad the diet is making you feel better.

Kat - how is your back?  Are you still off work? How's pooch?

Honor - sorry to hear that things aren't going that well in Germany. I hope you can manage to work through things after all you've both been through in order to get a family life. I bet you're looking  forward to your trip home.

Squirrel - how are you?

Curly, Maisie, Rachel, Twinklie, Carey, may-me, - hope you are all well.

I'm due back at work soon and am dreading it. They will only let me go back four days and not three as I requested which is a bummer. Plus hubby has been made redundant and finishes the week before I'm due back. So I may have to go back full time for a bit but will try and avoid that. The babies are doing well. I had a hospital stay with Edward as he was wheezing and not getting enough oxygen. That was a bit scary but he's ok now. Hopefully he'll outgrow the wheezing and it won't turn into asthma. Alexa is doing fine and crawling everywhere. The cats spend all day avoiding the babies and then they sleep on the sofa in the nursery with them each night which is really sweet.

That's all from me. I'm feeling a bit spaced out post Thai massage.

Take care and big hug to one and all xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Thanks Pooky.
I'd never heard about the iron/thyroxin thing   I've been taking everything at the same time...
Well, now I know, and I will change the habit   
Hope the babies get well soon   
Take care xx


----------



## MandyPandy

Pookychops said:


> Hanna - I'm glad that you're getting soemwhere with all of these tests. I don't know how to advise you re supplements. I do know that if you are taking supplements that have iron in them you need a four hour gap between taking those and thyroxine as iron can inhibit the uptake of the thyroxine. It made taking iron a pain for me and I'd always forget! For vitamin d if you are getting out in the sun each day you shouldn't need it but I think they advise it during pregnancy. Fingers crossed that it will all work out for you. Glad the diet is making you feel better.


Calcium is the main issue with thyroxine. I take my calcium at least 4 hours after thyroxine and iron a couple of hours after that so I wouldn't recommend having dairy any time soon after taking your tablets (but yep, I'm the same and regularly forget to take my iron  ). I then have all my usual vitamins in the evening.


----------



## Pookychops

I confess that I still take my thyroxine and vitamins at the same time. My theory is that my levels are ok and if I change my routine then I'll have to adjust dose and have more blood tests. Bad I know but I've been on it for about 30 years now...... I'd forget one or the other if I did them and different times and its hard enough to remember anything these days. If hubby moves my drugs off the window sill I'll easily forget to take them for a few days.


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there,
Thanks Pooky & Mandypandy 

I try not to make it all too difficult and have too many times to take pills, to b honest, I wouldn't even need iron (we all remember the horrible constipation saga I had after the Zita West Vitafems  ) but Pregnacare has iron, I shall just tak thyroxin & all the other stuff at am, vitamin at pm. I know if I start playing too much, I'll forget something very important. 
I now have one of those doser-thingies (I don't actually know English word for the thing  ) the one with a little 'box' for each week day and I put all by tablets there and I keep it on the breakfast table always so I remember to take the pills. My problem used to be that I forget whether I took the pills, not necessarily forgetting TO take the pill. It becomes such a routine I walk away from the kitchen and think 'did I just take the pill or did I just PLAN to take it'. Now I know just by looking at the 'sunday-box' for example and if the pill is not there, I took it  
I'm not taking calcium, I tend to get quite a lot of it from food tbh... I suppose pregnacare has some... can't be asked to check 
Oh, I so promised myself I will not get myself in to this pill hell but here I am...
Something utterly strange is happening... my psoriasis is starting to clear up, it hasn't done that in years... I think it has to be the glutein-free diet 
Hope everyone is doing well 
-Hanna-
*
'If you are going to be successful in creating the life of your dreams, you have to believe that you are capable of making it happen'*


----------



## 1972

Hey ladies

Been ages... 

Hanna- wow... That's some serious tablets you are on there! Glad you are getting some answers and moving forward. You are being very good re diet etc. wishing you all the very best. Xxxx

Honor- big hugs to you. Got your email.   xxx

Pooky- can't believe you are due back at work. How time flies   sorry to hear re hubby's redundancy. Will he look for something else? Xxx

AFM- where to start. 2 cycles of tamoxifen didn't work. Month of antibiotics to clear up underlying infection - made no diff. Have started to get weird patterns with AF. Spotting , shortened cycles. Am 41 now with AMH of less than 1, so think my body's reminding me of age! 

Have appt with create in the week to follow up from tests I had end of last year. She'll give me less than 10% with OE so will rule that out. We then have to decide financially can we afford donor route, and also started looking into adoption. Going along to open day to hear more. 

Then we will see.....

Hope the rest if the gang is well. Love to you all xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Hanna - gluten free is great if you think japanese. Loads of Japanese noodles and stuff use rice flower instead of wheat. My sister can´t eat wheat or corn or dairy (or a million other things) but makes lovely asian food.

Mais - lots of luck with your decision making

Pooky - my back is very frustrating. I have very little pain but still can´t feel my leg or foot so trip over a lot and randomly kick things ........... like annoying people on the metro  I don´t have any strength still but each week I´m doing more in the gym with all the other old duffers ........... not a lot of testosterone in the rehab gym I can assure you  . Rubbish that Dh is being made redundant but at the same time good because he gets some extra time with the babies. I hope he finds something soon.

Honor and Rachel  I hope things work out for you both soon.

Curlyone -  I hope things are OK with you and pooch? I´m taking mine to the vets as he is limping badly again although he does seem to limp more when there is chicken roasting of fish in the oven 

Hello everyone else, 
Katxxx


----------



## squirrel2010

Hello gorgeous cheesecake buddies,

 and   for you all xx

Honor - really thinking of you xx
Kat - poor pooch, take him to the nice vet asap, tee hee you kicking random chavs is a thought which makes me chuckle, not that I want you to have no feeling in your leg etc... xx
Curly - hows you? Xx
Pooky - hi buddy! Xx
Maisie - sounds like you have a plan, and i look forward to hearing more. You sound pretty positive about it all, good on ya xx
Hanna - hi hon, ooooh sounds complicated but love the sound of the little pill box! Xx

Everyone - hello hello hello after me being awol! Xx

Well, just wanted to dart back in and send love. I am doing immune tests, endometrial biopsies and endometrial scratches, so for a change, this little squirrel is complicated and no further ahead. Perhaps moving sideways instead!! Not gonna give up though. Otherwise, need to go on health food kick before I have to take steroids, but need to make it safely home from barcelona first post biopsy...flight home tomorrow! I always think of you guys, and will stick my nose in more often xxxxxxx


----------



## Carey

Evening ladies
So it's seems to have gone quiet on here, hope everyone is ok.
I may not post to often but do always think of you guys and the journeys that are still ongoing.

We are starting to think about doing a FET but not until Sept time. We are visiting a new clinic that's opened in Wymondham on Tuesday. It's a sister clinic to Bourn hall where we had our 1st Ivf. 
Hope to get a little more information and maybe book our consultation. 

Have a lovely weekend my lovelies xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hey ladies,

Sorry for absence.....

Hanna - good news with the psoriasis!!! Hope you've found something good to eat now, and that things are progressing well with your new doctor. xx
Rachel - hope Ethan is ok, and in school.  Hope all ok with you and DH. xx
Honor - if you're peeking, hop things are not too bad with you and DH now, and that you're settling in to your new home ok. xx
Mandypandy - hi, hope all's well with you. x
Pooky - hope work is going ok, and Edward's breathing is improving. sorry to hear about DH - fingers crossed he has work soon/has got work now. xx
Maisie - hey there. Hope your appointment went well with Create and that you have some good news soon. xx
Kat - thank you for making me smile!  Hope your back is on the mend, and your limpy old dog is feeling better.  We give our old soldier YuMove and it seems to have made a real difference to his arthritis.  He only limps now after he has overstretched himself because he got too excited, forgot his age and did a run too fast/jump too high. xx
Squirrel - Beaming you hugs and hope all your latest tests produce some fab results. xx
Carey - hi - hope your trip to the clinic went well and things are on track for your next round of IVF.

Hi to any other buds looking or lurking. xx

Afm - things all seem a bit bent out of shape in curlyworld at the mo. But, hey, I am a bit of a glass half full kind of person so I suppose it will sort itself out in time. I just wish that time would come sooner rather than later. Am sure there must be some saying or other about how we are in charge of our own destiny etc - 'when life gives you a good kicking, put on your favourite outfit and laugh in the face of adversity - Har, Har, Har' or some such . Tut. xxx


----------



## Nordickat

Curly  - ´Even if you fall on your face, you are still moving forwards´is that any good? Or how about ´Success is not final, failure is not fatal, its the courage to continue that counts´? I think that might have been Churchill but I´m not sure about the first one. Either make you fell any better? I´m sorry life is tricky right now. I have no doubt that things will sort themselves out but its no fun waiting I know xxx


Hi everyone else, 
Katxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds, 

Sorry been awol for while, and apologies in advance for the me-post but wanted to update you all. Baby M and I have moved back to the UK. I have effectively left DH. It's been a very stressful few months and I was totally and utterly miserable in Germany,  not judt with the homesickness but also, and mainly, due to DH - it was like living with a total stranger and like we were not particularly welcome guests. No idea what's been going on in his head but he was impossible to read and talk to,  gave me no reassurance when asked outright and didn't try to persuade me to stay. I am very sad about it - I didn't get married to split up and I didn't have a baby to be a single parent (though that's what I was the whole time - he didn't once help me out with her or hug her) - but I am a lot happier being back home, relieved, more relaxed, looking forward to a happier future. I do miss him but only the person he always was, not the one he's been more recently. 

I'll hopefully post again soon with personal posts to all.

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Kat!  As always, thank you  ....it's been a rocky patch that is just about to get rockier...enough about me tho'....

Honor- oo, me lovely,  I am so sorry about you and DH. There are theories I could espouse about how close in memory DH's unemployment in the UK may be for him and making him scared of being back in that situation, especially with your lovely daughter finally here, but I think now is just the time to send you an enormous  , and say that we are here for you - any time me darlin'.  I do hope it works out between you, but it is good that you are among people who make you feel happier.  Keep us posted me dear. xxxxx

x


----------



## Pookychops

Hi everyone,

Sorry for going AWOL but we've had no broadband. I feel like I've had an arm cut off. It's back now though  

Honor - sorry to hear about you and dh. You've been through so much and you finally got there in so many ways. Life is hard and not fair. Sending you a huge hug  

Squirrel - how are you? Are you surviving all of the tests, scrapes and what nots? Bessie and Archie send you big fluffy hugs, and to Colin  

Kat - I hope your back is improving with time. It can take a long time to heal and feel a lot better. Mine was a good few years last time. I dread the next prolapse! I used to go walking in the pool lots. I couldn't walk on land but was like a new woman in water   I hope pooch is ok.

Maisie - what's going on with you? How did you get in with your last clinic visit? 

Curly - big hug to you. You are so lovely and I hate to think of things going topsy turvey for you.

Carey - I hope you're enjoying your holiday and dh treats you lots! Has he got a job yet? It's good that a clinic has opened nearer you. I have to teach hubby how to pronounce wymondham each time we drive past.

Mel - hope you are well. How are things with you and work/treatment? Sorry not been in touch when home but I struggle to fit everything in.

Hanna - how are you? How's the diet going? Did you have a good midsummer?

AFM - not long now till I go back to work   I'm not looking forward to it all and I have to go back four days a week. It will be so hard as A&E are growing and developing so much at the moment it's a joy to be part of it all and I feel very selfish and don't want to share that with other people like nannies! Needs must though and I'm sure it will do them good to be with someone else other than me as I'm sure I get a bit boring after a while   we've got July together as a family, time which we will treasure as you don't many many chances like that. Hopefully dh will get a job starting in mid August or sometime after that. Who knows? It's a funny old world out there at the moment.

Take care all. Lots of love and hugs to you all xxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there everyone,
It sure has been quiet here for a while now...
*Honor*: I am so sorry to hear about you and dh, but at the end of the day, you are now around the people who, I hope, are making you and your daughter happy. Maybe you can someday sort things out, but if not, you two will survive, and be happy. Huge  to you xx
*Pooky*: Hey there, I had a lovely midsummers, went to my sister's for a bbq and games, and wine of course  Hope you are well, I do keep myself updated on you on ** too though 
*Curly* -I can't think of a phrase now but hope the rocks have been dismantled from your way and everything is a bit smoother xx
*Kat* Thanks for the Japanese tip, they even do pasta made from rice flour!!
*Carey* Do you know yet when your FET is? I'm starting with suprecur 24th of this month so should do ET around end of sep. Maybe we gonna b buddies xx
Everyone else: Hope you are all well xx
afm:Oh, dear, it has been a while...
My gluten free eating has gone pretty well. I have cheated twice; once on midsummers eve when my sister had made so gorgeous food I had to eat it and man, did I suffer??! The second time was when my hubby came home and we fancied a chinese, so we went on a buffet. I didn't really suffer that time, however, my skin reacts immediately to it... It's quite amazing actually how quickly it does  .

So, I have been popping pills like no tomorrow, I even managed to get the DHEA pills from a Finnish lady I met on a blogging page. She lives in U.K and had some left over (quite alot actually) as she has recently given birth  Dhea has had an annoying effect though... I have never had problems with spots and now I have 4 of them in my forehead  . I feel like a darn teenager! The other thing I noticed was that I have got my pre-menstrual boob-soreness back since I started with Dhea. That had disappeared before, also my cycle had gone from 28 days to 25 which could be worrying but this cycle it shot back to the long one. Well, that brought a problem though, as I missed the deadline for the treatment plan, and they had to give me all new dates.

So, today I have been to the pharmacist and came home with 2 large bags, all the tx meds including the predisolon, which my doc prescribed for me to start 1 wk bf ET and continue till wk 12. Apparently should prevent my body attacking the embryo... and 2kg's of body cream! That wont help with tx but as we have this system here that once you have bought 650€ worth of prescription meds from pharmacy, anything after that only costs you 1,5€. So I took all my prescriptions that were running out soon and asked the pharmacist to give me the freshest dates of all them  So I paid only 6€ for all the meds together!
I am rather worried about the tx, my fsh & amh are pretty awful, I don't think in UK they would even try tx on those figures, but this doc kept saying we should, and THEN think of other options if it looks my ovaries are kaput. It is rather strange that still, knowing my poor performance, they are not taking any bloodtests, just go by dates...
Anyway, gotta go
Take care lovelies xx


----------



## Twinklie

Hi ladies,

Hope this thread will come back to life after the summer hols, it's certainly quiet!

Hanna - hope all the pills and meds will do the trick!   Good luck with your next cycle!

Honor - sorry to hear your news, hope you and baby M are doing well.    

Everyone else - hope you're having a nice summer!   

I have some news again, as you can see in my signature. I hope it will work out better this time... Still feels unreal. 

Lots of love to you all


----------



## Hannushka

Twinklie!!!      Congratulations! I keep    so that everything will go smoothly.


----------



## MandyPandy

Congratulations Twinklie!

I'm also pg with a natural miracle. 

Best of luck to you for the rest of your term!

xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Thanks Hanna! Keeping my fingers crossed for you.   

Mandy - congratulations on your pregnancy! It's funny, I was just reading a bit of your diary. Not sure how I stumbled across it, maybe through one of the immunes forums I sometimes browse. It's amazing how it all works out sometimes.   

I'm panicking a bit about not being able to hear the baby with the angelsound that worked perfectly well with DS. So on Thursday my midwife will try and hear it, if that doesn't work I guess I'll do an extra scan. The worry never stops...


----------



## Pookychops

Fabulous news Twinklie  

Hanna - keeping everything crossed for xx fab news re drug costs  

Squirrel - thinking of you and sending you a big fluffy hug xxx

Hello to everyone else sending you a all a big   and  

I've just done my first four day week. I don't like it and work is awful, they given me 50% more work than I had when I was full time. Feels like I'm being set up to fail. Time to start job hunting me thinks...


----------



## ma-me28

hi everyone its been a while just been taking time out 
twinklie and mandy congrats to you both.x
pooky hope work is going ok for you
honor sorry to hear about you and dh.x
hanna good luck with next treatment
carey anymore news on doing your fet? 
big hugs to anyone I have missed 

not too much to report my end we tried clomid for 6 months which was unsuccessful, I now have new job less hours but its a job. I passed my first uni module so am now level 4 qualified in childcare, just another yr to go. we luckily got a ppi refund which is paying for a much needed holiday for dh and I, and has made a healthy start on saving for one last cycle, which we are planning for next summer.


----------



## Carey

Hiya Buds.

Honor - hope ur feeling more at home now ur back in UK & baby M is getting on nicely. Stay strong for her. Xx

Twinklie & Mandy - fab news. Congrats xxxx

Hanna - do u have a start date yet? How r u feelin to be starting again? We have decided to put FET on hold until new year xx

Curly - hope ur well xx

Mame - good to see u have popped on   not long till ur hol xxx

Hello to everyone else xxxx

AFM - we have put FET on hold until beginning of next year. I need to get my head around it all & make sure I'm in a positive place.
I've not been well I've had bad tonsillitis twice in 4 wks so feeling like my body is giving up on me. It's been horrid. I've been pumping my body full of antibiotics &  thinking it really can't be good.

Love to u all xxxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

After a long break I'm back checking up on FF. 

Fab news twinklie. Very pleased for you. 

Hanna- how is things going? 

Honor- how are you settling back into life at home. 

Hi to everyone else. 

AFm- I'm currently going through donor process in Czech Republic. Huge changes for us and something I said I'd never do! But my need to be a mum was to great. ET in 2 1/2 weeks all going well. I shall keep you all posted. 

Kat/ squirrel/ curly/ Karen  - Ifyou are still lurking , I still think of you alot. How are you all? Xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey, sh*t, I wrote a long msg and pressed the wrong button and it all disappeared  
Mandy:  Congrats!!! Wishing you all the best  
Maisie: glad to c u bk, and hope everything goes well!
Pooky: Hang in there and stay strong. If you do decide to leave, I am sure u find something great soon xx

AFM: So, been sniffing since 24th aug and all gone really well, up until yesterday when everything collapsed, I had THE worst day of my life and though I knew its the meds making me over react, it didn't really help. Today it just continued and I'm rather distressed. We keep having this dark cloud up above us and everything we do, everything we try, goes pear shaped. We keep getting bad news, and every one of those news include money loss. righ now im in a situation where I simply have no money TO lose but still those bills keep mounting up. On top of that, our fecking car broke down and there dont seem to be a single person in this country that knows how to fix it. UNBELIEVABLE. Oh, there is one, costs 900€. We've just PAID 3000 to bring the   car here. I have NO money!!!    
Today i came home and i just collapsed and thought i was going to stop breathing, i have been making jokes about our bad luck, saying our life is so full of drama its comical, but i aint laughing no more... I dont know what a possible failure of this tx will do to me, my chest aches just thinking about it.
Positive? yep, i found something positive... at least something is happening, last tx i felt nothing different throughout the meds and they didnt really do anything, this time, ive been on a coctail of drugs beforehand, changed the diet etc etc and i feel similar to our first tx which went pretty well, so im TRYING to make myself believe this just means things are working the right way...   Sorry for being negative, just have no strength to be anything else right now  
Take care all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - how are you feeling now?  How much more sniffing have you got to do? Big fat bummer about the car. It sounds like you're not having much luck at the moment. I know it's really annoying when people say this but it will get better. Have you had three things go wrong yet? If so, nothing else is allowed to go wrong! Is hubby back in Finland with you now? Is he having any luck with work?

Maisie - how are your feeling about it all? Cautious no doubt. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. 

Squirrel- you've gone all quiet. Are you ok? Sending you a huge hug. My friend recently went to jersey and found a fab cocktail bar. They loved it so much that they went back each night.

Hello to everyone else.

I had a mini cheesecake meeting with honor in aylesbury last week. It was lovely to meet up and for our little ones to play. Edward sorted out a little boy who made little M cry. Nice to know that he looks after his friends.

Big hug to you all xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Pooky- 3 things?!? I could add several zeros after that 3   . We are known to be a couple who face obstacles at every bloody turn. Car was fixed, well the problem we had was fixed, but 2 other problems appeared since that 'fixing' they broke the central locking system and one light!! 
Then, I had my first scan and found out I had been taking my suprecur sniffs wrong, supposed to take 2 sniffs 4 times a day, i took 2 sniffs twice a day as last time I had synarela and that you do take twice a day. Oh, well, no damage was done. Then, after we are struggling with money already, we had a reminder waiting at home that our car is due for MOT by 23rd of this month, shall I continue? Not sure how much more I can really take this... :/
Hubby is in Finland, no work so far but he is learning Finnish in school at the moment. Will help when looking for work...


----------



## lynn1303

Hey. Girlies. 


Hanna sounds like you gave loads going on but as u say u get to a state where that is the norm and there is nothing else for it but just to get on.  Still crap though. 

Pooky and honour.  That's so cool you met and the kiddie winkles got to meet and play I hope u both had a wonderful time. 

Maisie moo. How you feeling? Have you had et transfer yet? I think in this business you don't know what you would or wouldn't do until u were in that situation so I think you are very brave that you did something different to ur initial plan

How are you keeping twinkle? 

Big hugs to squirrel Karen kat and all our wee cheesecake gang. 

Afm well I went through my 2 ivf.  1 st one was cancelled in may due to no response.  Well this time I over responded.  Went for EC last Wednesday and they got 39 eggs.  Hubs count was best yet at 260 mil/ml.  They were all of a buzz talking about us.  Excited for us.  The next day we found out that 4 eggs were immature 6 fertilised abnormally and only 3 fertilised.  They were really shocked and I was upset.  It i need to think I have 3 Popsicles waiting on me.  I'm just worried they don't survive the thaw. There's obviously something the matter with my eggs.  His sperm was perfect.  I did say if his dudes had the same patter as him then we were in trouble and looks like his patter was not only mince but my wee eggies obviously a bit stuck up. 
Lol. 


I was in a lot of pain for days then Sunday nite became breathless.  So I was admitted to hospital and they have out a catheter in.  They could hear fluids on my lungs so looks like I have moderate ohss. They were at a loss for what painkillers to give me coz I'm on everything for my back so currently gettig oramorph which is liquid morphine.  

I hope you guys are all ok.  I miss our regular chats.  


Big hugs.


----------



## Hannushka

*Lynn.* Oh honey, that must've been disheartening BUT like you said, you have 3 juicy eggs, I am sending you loads of luck and pray that they will survive the thaw xx
Hello you all, hope you are well!
afm: I have had my second scan on wednesday and had total of 10 follies, it was rather suprising as doctor said after getting my horrible fsh and amh numbers that we shouldn't expect more than 3-4 follies as the function of my ovaries is clearly diminishing... I am trying not to get too positive so the fall wont be so big but I just somehow feel different, not so stressed, just more clear headed. Only thing is that I feel I should be feeling more twinching in my ovaries, I keep thinking they have fallen off as I feel almost normal...
And then to the luck issue: Friday hubby came home with a parking fine, monday a speeding fine, I mean WHAT?! what a plonker! Well, to make me feel a bit better, I won 8€ from lottery  And theeeen; yesterday we drove up to north as hubby had a job interview near the north border to Sweden, and HE GOT THE JOOOOOB!!! Well, no contract been signed yet but he took a picture for the staff card and asked us to send dh's tax number, so sounds rather positive. I'm just waiting for a meteor to fall on my lap now or falling down the stairs or something equally as bad... It can't really be that we'd be so lucky... 
Take care you all, and loads of hugs to all our hiding cheesecakers... We should plan another cakenight soon!!
xx


----------



## Hannushka

Evening,
Hope you are all well and lurking about...
I had my third scan yesterday and had a total of 12 countable follies ranging from 10,10,12, 13,14,14,14,15,16,16,20 &20mm so some worryingly small but some rather good size ones too. All in all, much better than last time, when there were 5 follies, all small, and only 3 eggs which from that only one survived till ET date... So I am trying to stay positive. I am due to do my trigger shot tonight at 11pm and EC is monday at 9.15. I am off work now for 6 days so will be a true couch potato starting from tomorrow (so the eggs don't fall off too early )
Now, I do ask you all to ask the Universe, God in heaven, the sperm-God, the fertility Gods, medical science and anyone at all that may have their hands in our future, to help us in this time.    
Take care you all xxx


----------



## 1972

Hanna- that's fab news re follies. Wishing you all the best for Monday. Keep us posted xxxx


----------



## Big hat

Hello me darlin's

Woah! There has been some serious baby-making activity going on here!!!!Excellent!

Hanna  - What trials and tribulations you've been through  . Hopefully, by now you are able to say that you are PUPO (wow, that feels so good to say again!!!) Keeping all crossed for you. xx

Honor - if you are lurking   xx

Pooky - Hope work's  ok now, and you're back in the stride. Really pleased that you met up with Honor for a mini-cheesecakefest - hope she's doing ok. It just goes to show how time flies - the 2 of you meeting up with your babies. xxx

Twinklie - Hurrah for you   Keeping fingers crossed for you - keep us updated on progress. xx

MandyPandy - Congratulations for you too!   Again, keep us posted on progress. xx

Mame - well done on passing your exams. x

Carey - Bless.  Look after yourself and get yourself fighting fit for your FET next year.  xxx

Maisie - Thinking of you so much re: ET.  It's this week isn't it?  Reprofit certainly seems to be a good clinic. Hear what you're saying re: going for ET, so am sending you enormous hugs   and keeping fingers crossed for you.  xxxx

Lynn - 39!!!!!!! Wow!  Just think what little fighters those 3 embryos are.  Sorry to hear you have moderate OHSS on top of everything else.  Keeping all fingers and toes crossed for you.   xx

Hey Kat, Karen, Squirrel - xxx

Afm: Well, after what has been something of a hideous year, coming too close on the heels of the beginning of last year, things seem to be turning a corner.  Hurrah! Thank you ladies for the words of support you gave me - it meant a lot, believe me!  We are, once again talking to Serum, and are starting the process of getting tests done etc, ready for my hysteroscopy (again) and DH's DNA fragmentation and motility tests etc.  DH seems to be taking it very seriously and is making healthier choices, and taking his vitamins without any nagging. I've been scheduled for my next thyroide tests, and will need to up my Levothyroxine to get below TSH 2.0 again. on the whole, it seems all quite positive, and as though we may be heading out before Christmas (fingers crossed).  The unsaid feeling between us seems to be that this will be our last go, and I think after all the nonsense, upset and uncertainty of the past few years, we are able to go into this quite clear headed.  It all feels quite good really.

love and hugs to you all

Curly


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds,

Feeling more than a tad guilty at my plentiful lurking but pitiful efforts at posting . It's been a very eventful year and I've been waiting it out til it somehow felt right again to post. The day that should have been my 8th wedding anniversary... mm... well in fact, why not?! It's also marked my start of more exercise, spending less money and asserting myself more with my mum when it comes to Baby M, who just happens to be MY daughter . Occasional frustration living with the rents aside, I'm in a very good place . I am back home, with lots of good friends and family around, I have other, sadly more distant yet amazing friends and family, have started working again, part time (tho that's less of a good thing ), in a lovely room in town kindly donated for free spruced up by my BF's parents, my kitty is back with me and, mist importantly, I am blessed with the most beautiful little girl in the world. I feel happy, relaxed, free. Who needs a dark and moody, unsociable DH who clearly has no interest in making any effort to be a family. 

I do though feel bad at having kind of abandoned you in recent months . But please know that you've all not been far from my thoughts. It's great to see some more activity on here and read that quite a few of you are cycling again, or due to. Hanna, maisie, Lynn and Curly - I'll be rooting for you all the way and sending out lots of positive vibes and baby dust to you all  .

Squirrel, if you're lurking, I'm so sorry I've been utterly pants at keeping in touch - you need ********, then you'll never get a moment's peace from me ! Lynn and Pooky may well be able to testify to this! 

It's therefore thanks to the incredible ******** that Pooky and I were able to arrange to meet up fairly recently when I ws down south visiting my brother - was fab to meet up again and watch the babas playing .

Lynn, I hope you got my message and are feeling better soon. Any idea on time frame for ET?

Hanna, how did you get on today? Hope all went well .

And maisie, are you on your TWW then? Fingers all crossed for you . I'm glad you've been able to find your way forward - it really can't have been easy, I really admire your strength and perseverance. 
Thanks for your comment on my LinkedIn post, btw!

Curly - Good to hear from you, and that plans are afoot for you too. I'm sure yiu must be due a good dosing of good luck .

Rachel - How are you? How's Ethan getting on? 

Mame - Congratulations on passing your exams  !

Kat, Karen - Hope you are still out there somewhere and doing ok .

Twinklie - Congratulations on surprise natural BFP II! Hope everything is going well. 

Dee, Carey - How are you both, and your LOs?

Sorry if I've missed anyone,  and for any typos - am on my phone and so there are bound to be loads .

Love to all, 

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Dear cheese-cakers,
*Honor*Good to see you back! You go girl, keep your head up, there are many lovely things ahead in your life and I'm glad you have bravely adapted to the new life. I bet most mothers are like yours, my little sister is quite often fuming at our mum who keeps giving her advice at every turn  You just have to know she really really means well xx
*Curly* Thank you honey.. Not pupo yet, just had my EC yesterday, which I tell more about in 'afm'. I am glad to hear you are jumping back in the game, it really isn't over till the fat lady sings, and I haven't heard her yet, have you?? 
*1972* Thank you 
*Maisie* Where r you now at? I'm truly rooting for you xx
*...and to all I haven't mentioned: huge   and I do hope you are well xx*
AFM:
So, had my EC yesterday, only 5 eggs I'm afraid  I mean it is more than last time, but as not all will fertilize, I'm sure, I'm expecting maximum of 2 surviving to ET if any... Yes yes, it only takes one, but I really really hoped we'd have something for a freezer... 
Also, there was endo in the way so they had to go through it and now I'm on antibiotics as risk for infection is apparently rather high... Oh, and no,no, thats not all... They couldn' get to my veins either so my hands are now full of holes and are all bruised up, as the nurse wouldn't give up even though I told her b4 she started that last time they had to put the meds through the vein in my arm  So once she had destroyed all the veins in my right hand, she then finally got in through my right hand vein... 
Now I am in my bed praying that the phone wouldn't ring, as they'll only call if there is bad news... Can't take this stress...
Now *IMPORTANT QUESTION ALERT* *In here they tell you to start with progesterone after ET, however, I got some left from last cycle which are still within dates... I keep reading that in most clinics they start either on the day of EC or the day after... Do you think I should start with it??*
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Martha Moo

Hello


Different clinics use different protocols so I would be guided by what your clinic advise, if you are concerned perhaps give them a call and explain your query, it's what they are there for after all

Donna


----------



## Carey

Hi Ladies.

Hope everyones ok  

Hanna - Good news about EC, hope ur resting up and awaiting ur precious cargo to be onboard. I cant remember for sure what i did re gel, think it was after ET...    XXX

Honor - We are good thanks, Oliver is full of beans into everything   Hope your well xx

A big hello to everybody else xxxx 

Good to see this thread has got abit more chat going on again... Ive missed you ladies  

AFM - Im going to be calling the new clinic next week to arrange our consultation, from the new Wymondam thread on here looks as though the clinic is getting fairly busy. 
Going to the bank tomorrow to see what money we have to see how much more we need to save up..... lots more i think  

Sending you all lots of love and luck    xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Afternoon,
So, I am PUPO now, but hey, no clapping and jumping now. Out of the 5 eggs, all did fertilize but 4 stopped dividing last night, so we were left with a grade 4, 4-cell embie, (grade1 is  top-4 is rubbish) And by day 2, it really should've been at least 6 cell one... Most clinics here do not even bother transferring grade 4's so not holding up to ANY hope. Also my doctor had already been consulting a senior doctor this morning, regarding my next tx, so it is rather clear that they are not expecting anything out of this either.
As much as I try always to keep my feet on the ground, I really thought we would've had at least 2 embies so it is a bit of a shock now. They were talking about trying a different protocol next time, a short one, using 3 different medicines, as it is now rather clear that after using menopur for the last 3 tx, it hasn't worked... 

I did take the progesterone last night, but asked today why their advice is not the same as in the leaflet. They said, for 1. it just is so messy that it makes the transfer-procedure much more difficult and 2. more and more scientific research keep coming back saying progesterone support may not have any effect at all to the outcome of ivf and a lot of doctors say it's just pure placebo that just may make the person feel better but has no actual effect... Who knows...
Also they said last summer a research had proven that a person having ET should not lie down after ET but to get up straight away to have better chance. They did not go to more detail about why's and how's but... 
Anyway, I'm off to curl up in bed in self-pity


----------



## Carey

Hi Hanna.

Ive just logged on quickly at work to see how you are?

Congrats on being PUPO       i have my fingers crossed for you  

Hi to everybody else xx


----------



## 1972

Hanna- please stay positive as you really never know. I have everything crossed for you. Stay calm, rest, positive thoughts . Lots of love xxx

Honor- good to hear from you. I saw minkey last night and we were talking about you. It sounds like you've had a really tough time but glad to hear things are looking up. You sound really happy in your post  hoping it continues ! Xx

AFM- long story short. Yes I'm on 2ww with donor. A long journey to get here but was that or no family. I've forgotten how crap the 2ww is!   trying to keep as positive as I can. I've changed my user name, but it's me , Maisie  

Hi to all the rest of you. Xx


----------



## Big hat

Honor -so good to hear from you. Gosh, it sounds like it's been a hell of a year but, you sound quite strong and positive, like you are in control of your life.  That's got to be a good thing.  I'm sure you are a wonderful mummy, and you must be so happy having your kitty back (was it Neo, or am I just thinking of Keanu Reeves in The Matrix?).  Really proud of you me lovely. xxx

Hanna - although I have obviously been out of touch with the whole IVF thing for a while, it does sound like your clinic is keeping an eye on all the different research and outcomes that is going on.  I'm sure it all seems a bit unsettling but it does sound like they are trying to do their best for you.  Keeping my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for you during your 2ww.  xxxxx

Carey - Hope the bank had good news, and that you get an early appointment at your clinic. xxx

1972 - you did throw me with your new user name.  I was wondering who on earth this person was who'd landed onto our thread (thought my memory was really rusty).  Hiya sweetie!  I'm so pleased you are on your 2ww also.  Keeping fingers, eyes and toes crossed for you too.  xxxxxx

Hi to everyone else. xx

Afm: well, DH is sticking to his health and tablet taking kick, which is good.  My TSH result has come back at a very good level.  We are now just trying to sort out our trip to Serum to have all of their tests and initial treatment done, which now looks like it could happen in November. All in all , it seems very positive, definitely a world away from the awful dark and hideous cloud that seemed to hover over us a few months ago.  onwards and upwards me lovelies.

big hugs

Curly
xx


----------



## 1972

Whhhoooooppppp curly, that's so exciting!!!!


----------



## Pookychops

Hi, 

Sorry that I've not been around the last few weeks. Life has been mental. We went to Spain for a week and the water tank decided to flood the house while we were away. That combined with stupid work deadlines, trying to find a nanny and dh starting work I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm struggling a bit with the whole work life balance thing and desperately need to sort it all out.

Hanna - I hope you are surviving the two week wait. Fingers crossed that you will get your little miracle and hopefully I took your bad luck away long enough to help you out.

1972 - I was rather confused too! Fingers crossed for you too. I hope the 2ww symptom spotting is not driving you mad.

Curly - glad to see you back. Not long now will you give it another go. I've got everything crossed for you. I hope your dark cloud has been well and truly blown away.

Lyn - how are you getting on? Are you over your ohss? Have you made it to transfer yet?

Hi to everyone else xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hello lovelies!
Curly- Great news about dh and tx. Not loong nooow! I wish you all the luck in the world!!
1972- Thank you lovely Mais, I have to admit I have had nothing of the sort (positive feelings I mean), just can't help myself from knowing that everything that can go wrong in our life, will. I wish you sooo much luck with this one     because you so deserve this!! <3
Pooky- Omg, flooding no good, hopefully it didn't do too much damage :/ Hope work-life balance is sorting itself out soon x
Carey- thank you xx
afm. So I have managed till day 9 from ET. 2 days ago I was having serious period pains and the soreness of my boobies has disappeared, I'm afraid. I had a drop of blood in the paper and resigned to the fact that it hasn't worked, and it sort of relieved me from all the stress. It is what it is. Now, I haven't seen any more blood since but it is only a matter of time. Last tx I started bleeding a little on the evening of day 9 and day 10 was the true end of it, so expecting to see af some time this evening or tomorrow am... You may say I'm being negative but I think I'm just being realistic. Boobies should be sore by now... Also my mood swings and crying has stopped... I had very rough sunday and monday and could NOT stop crying... Even went to a doctor, who was a right   . She said to me 'well, if this is how you react to the treatment, have you thought of the fact, maybe you shouldn't have any more treatment and accept the reality' WHAAT?! I also asked the doc whether Ishould rest or something as I keep having really bad lower back ache, and she said nothing that I do will make any difference to the outcome and that I can even go and jump on a trampoline if I wish. That on a day 5 after transfer (ie. around the time of embryo attaching??!). Needless to say I stayed away from the trampoline, but actually felt much better after the doc, the attitude she gave me was so strange I could only laugh... As I write this, the usual b4 af pain in my thigh has appeared, not long noooow...


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna     You know what I'm going to say ... Don't give up yet! There is no way of knowing until you get a BFN on otd. Blood or not, sore boobs or not... Symptoms vary so much.

Keeping everything crossed for those of you cycling now or in the near future. I think there will be some babies coming up soon! 

Wish I made more of an effort to write here, but I do read often and think of you a lot.

Love to you all


----------



## Hannushka

Thank you Twinklie and everyone else who have been giving me hope and    , I have to report a big nasty af. No need to test. This isn't just spotting...  
So phoning clinic monday and start planning for new tests and treatments... 
Much love to ya all xxx


----------



## Honor77

Hanna - Still going to hold out a glimmer of hope for you, you never know... I still felt like AF was going to start any minute well into the 1st trimester and it's more common than you'd think to have heavy bleeding but be pregnant. Wish I could will it to all be ok for you, hoping that glimmer of hope transforms into positive news. Take care.

Twinklie - Good to hear from you! And to see from your ticker that so far, so good! 

Curly - Sounds like it's all go with you! So pleased for you that you're breaking free of limboland. 

Maisie - How are you getting on? Hope you're finding ways to keep busy and sane!

Pooky - Bleurgh to water tanks and other stresses. Here's hoping to a smoother path/life v.soon!

Lynn - Any news from you? Hope you're on the mend. 

Carey - Hey there! Hope all's well with you. 

Love to everyone else!

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hanna- really sorry to hear that...   Your doctor sounds like a nightmare! Glad you managed to see the funny side of it , I'd be fuming!! Please don't give up hope though. You have time and other options on your side and I have everything crossed you'll reach your goal one day. Xxxx

Curly- such exciting news!!! Really pleased for you. Xx

Hi to everyone else.

I have news... As of Friday, I got my BFP!!! It's a surreal feeling after all this time. And I'm being very tentative as we all know it's not in the bag yet. But it's a great milestone to have reached.. Never give up ladies xxxxx


----------



## Big hat

OOOOO 1972 I've just got goosebumps reading your post. Such enormous congratulations me darlin'.    I think you do need to put a   on your signature line.  I know you are being careful but..... well, you did it!!!

Hanna - Oh sweetie, am rooting for you.  As Honor said, it's more common than you think.  Hold on there me dear.   

Pooky - hold on in there, and give yourself a big pat on the back for keeping everything going wth, I'm sure, a smile on your face!  Once you get your nanny all will be well with the world.  Huge congrats on DH getting a new job - that has to be one big headache out of the way.  

Twinklie - hope things are going well with you - when's your next scan due?

Honor - Hello me lovely.  You know, it is good to have you back with us   

Nothing to report here.  I just thought I'd check in whilst DH has all the other computers etc primed and trying to get Glastonbury tix - have a feeling that it'll be another year we are unsuccessful.  Am trying not to wear him down with talk of Serum, but that doesn't mean I'm not secretly planning and replanning, and researching etc - obsessed, moi?  

Hanna, little extra   for you.

xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Fabulous news 1972  I have tears in my eyes I'm so happy for you!

Hanna  - huge hug to you. I hope your chat with the clinic goes well tomorrow. You deserve to get a bfp and you will!

Hi to everyone else. Xxxx


----------



## Honor77

OMG, 1972!!!! Huge congratulations!  Your news has made my day! Totally & absolutely understand why you're being tentative but this is big news & so allow yourself a little celebratory something!

Hi Pooky, hope the very lovely Pookettes are doing well.

Good to be back, Curly! Missed you all. Baby aside, I've realised for the first time in ages that I can & do have a very clear idea of the life I want to have and that will make me truly happy and it feels great! Sad too though to have lost that closeness and happiness I did have with DH but we've obviously got too much of a different idea of what we want from life/different outlooks for it to work. Having to really come to terms with the fact that something major must have changed his feelings while we were apart but that it's unlikely I'll ever find out what, given how closed he is and lack of contact. 
Did your DH have any luck with the tickets? 

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there,
1972- O.M.G!!!    I am so so happy for you!! I will add you to my prayer tonight so that everything will continue going well  
Honor- Glad to see you are doing well and everything is finding it's place now xx
Pooky-Thank you xx
Curly- thank you for rooting, even though it really is over this time.. Hope you got the tickets xx

afm.
I'm afraid this isn't just random spotting, have had very heavy af with clots (sorry tmi) so there really really is no need for any testing.
I spoke to the doctor today and am pleased , well mostly pleased with the outcome. 
She agreed to do tests on dhea, check thyroid functions again, adrenal glands, mycoplasma and ureaplasma,and parathyroid gland functioning, aaand, I feel very special now: She agreed to do endometrial scratching with my next tx! This is something that isn't done here in Finland, but my doc happened to have been in a conference somewhere abroad this august where one of the subjects was indeed endometrial scratching and its effects on the outcome for IVF, so she said it is a small procedure and seems to have effect on certain cases so she is more than happy to do it if I want. If I want Yes please. This is my last funded ivf, I am doing EVERYTHING I possibly can!
Tbh I think there are few tests I will go and do privately just to give me a peace of mind if nothing else... 
And yes, the wheatgrass is coming to my diet too... as is all the other 'fertilityfoods' that I have been sceptical about


----------



## Big hat

Hi,

Hanna - Gosh your doctor does sound like she is giving you some special tx.  The endometrial scratching does seem to be common place elsewhere so it does seem odd that Finland don't do it.  Reckon you may be a test case for your doctor so she's going to be pulling out all the stops for you - can't be bad!  Will keep fingers crossed for you.  Enjoy your wheatgrass   xx

Honor - good on you!  With your skills you can take on the world!  No tix for us, again    grrr.

Hi to everyone else. xx

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hanna- really good to hear at last you can get some more tests and hopefully some guidance for the way forward. It must be so frustrating. I tried most before I decided it was my time to move on. Lots of love and hugs. Xx

Curly- any more updates?

Honor- how you doing? 

Pooky- how's life back at work? 

AFM; had a stressful week. Lots of cramping and some bleeding. Very stressful and decided to go and get my hcg tested. Travelled up to London weds and sat and luckily, all looking ok. 

Gut feel, it may have been twins but now one. Will know for sure next Sunday at scan. Am 6 weeks tomorrow. 
Thanks for all your lovely wishes. A long way to go, but still a bit surreal. I have terrible nausea that's reminding me constantly, this is what I wanted. 

Lots of love x


----------



## Pookychops

1972 - I had quite a few bleeds at the start of my pregnancy and it just adds to the stress and it's not nice at all. I think ivf leads to more bleeding in early pregnancy and twins definitely does. I did a lot of relaxation cds! If it is twins and you need a specific twins relaxation cd I'll pop it in the post to you. I hope everything is ok and I'm thinking of you xxx


----------



## Honor77

A quick one for Hanna & maisie:

Hanna: That's great that your doctor is being so open to trying new things. Sounds like you're in good hands. 

Maisie: So sorry you've had a stressful time,  but pleased you're staying positive. Absolutely everything crossed for you for Sunday. Keep smiling. 

Love to everyone else.

xxx


----------



## Honor77

Just a quick good luck for 1972 for tomorrow - will be thinking about you...

xxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks honor. 

But... Appt cancelled. Long story short, was referred to EPU yesterday . All seems ok after a long wait and one strong heartbeat seen!!! Got to go back in 2 weeks as something else seen but my fibroid blocking visibility. Could still be another or empty sac :-(


----------



## Honor77

Yipee!! On the strong heartbeat... Hope nothing untoward when you have your next scan. How are you feeling about it all now?

xxx


----------



## Pookychops

1972 - that's fab news on the heartbeat  I'm sorry that it's turning into such a stressful time for you. Have they signed you off work? Thinking of you lots and hoping that you are ok xxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks girls.,still in a weird surreal bubble. It's not hit me still! Just feels like a time of anxiety. So pleased to see heartbeat but wondering if there still could be two. 

I've been off this week on holiday and literally done nothing. Feel so rough and tired, half the week I didn't get dressed and slept. I've got to go back to work tomorrow! Not sure how I'm going to manage that!! 

Hanna- how are you feeling?? Xxx


----------



## Big hat

Gosh '72, I'm not surprised you feel so rough and tired - what a rollercoaster you must be on. It must be really hard to settle your thoughts as you still don't know whether you're having 1 or 2 babies.  It does seem good that you're being put through for the tests though, and your concerns are being listened to.  Have been thinking of you a lot - just keep focussing on that strong heartbeat as it sounds like you have a true little fighter there    xxxx

Hanna - how are you me darlin'?  Any follow-up news yet?

Hi Pooky and Honor - hope you two ladies are ok.

Afm, yes '72, am booked in for hysteroscopy and DH's sa/dna fragmentation test in mid-November, and then I'm assuming it will all go from there - and I am hoping it will be sooner rather than later! In my mind, I want the entire process over before my next birthday, that's my deadline. Hoping it's not too miserable where all of you are today - odd silvery light here, coupled with a lot of rain and wind, means walking el doggo is going to be lots of fun (not)!!

hugs all

Curly
xx


----------



## 1972

Fab news curly. When is the next bday?!?! 

Hanna- how are you feeling? Xx


----------



## Carey

Hi my lovelies....

I hope you are all OK?

Hanna - How r u doing Hun?    xx

1972 - Congrats to you, so pleased   and maybe a second little HB too, not long till your next scan xx

Curly - How exciting that its all going to be all go for you again soon, Hope Nov goes OK xx

Honor, Twinklie, Pooky Hope you girls are OK too? xxx

AFM - Our FET consultation is book   I know this may sound a little strange to some of you but I'm feeling a little nervous to what will be said and when the transfer will be......... Lots of new questions to be asked so hopefully the consultant will have the answers. 
We are seeing the same consultant that we saw a few times last cycle but at the new Norwich Clinic. One thing i do already know is that as my eggs are at a different clinic i will have to travel down for my ET but am able to have BT/Scans at my local clinic...

How many of you ladies have had FET?

Love to you all xxx


----------



## Pookychops

I've done FET. It's just as nerve wracking but in a different way to a fresh cycle. Will you be doing a medicated cycle? The drugs are a bit different. It's very nerve wracking waiting to hear if your eggs have defrosted and then when they have its the normal 2ww madness...... Good luck though Carey!

1972 - how are you getting on? I see you've been off sick again..I hope everything is ok xxx


----------



## Carey

Hi Pooky. I'm not sure as yet to if it will be medicated cycle . Not sure if u get a choice or ur told one way or another.... Hope ur we'll xx

Hi to everyone else, it's gone quiet on her the past wk or so xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Some clinics will only do a medicated cycle. They have more control that way. It also depends if your clinic is open at weekends or not as they have to transfer the embryo when you are at the right stage of your cycle. If you have a day 5 embryo to transfer they will transfer it five days after you ovulated.

I was up in Norfolk last week but was so busy with family I had no chance to see anyone else. Hopefully we'll have another merry up on one of my trips. It's just a bit harder now I'm back at work...


----------



## 1972

Hi. Had follow up at EPU today. Last week when off sick I had a big bleed and ended up with a private scan. It appears that I got pregnant with twins but one stopped at about 5 weeks. Sac was visible last week but not today. Sad but very happy to see a strong heartbeat. I'm 8+ 4 today. 

I'm feeling every one of my 41 years! Exhausted :-(

How is everyone? 

Hanna- hope you're doing alright?? Xx

Curly- happy belated bday honey xxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi 1972, that must have been bittersweet news... I'm sure it's thrown you somewhat and you're bound to be sad at the loss of a twin, yet is, of course fantastic news that there's still one little baby thriving in there. Can you see much at 8 weeks? My first scan was at 13 weeks and I was SOOOOO nervous I felt sick, had convinced myself something must have gone wrong or I was having a phantom pregnancy that I couldn't believe it when an actual baby-shaped baby appeared on the screen! It's all a very surreal experience when you've struggled so much to conceive, and you may feel that throughout yoyr pregnancy, but, 1972, you've done it!!! Baby is in there, healthy and growing well! Do yyou have a due date? 

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hello me lovelies,

Carey - bless.  Having had both DET and an FET from the same batch, I can agree with Pooky, the feelings of trepidation are the same.  For both I had to take a combination of tablets, and have scans re: lining etc.  The only difference was waiting for the outcome of the ET to see how many would fertilise and to what grade.  The 2ww is exactly the same as for everyone else - interminably long with all the drama.  Good luck honey, will have fingers crossed for your success. xx

'72 - So sad that one of your little ones didn't make it, but what fabulous news that you have a great strong heartbeat!  It is such fabulous news.  Thank you for the birthday wishes - so now you can see I have 12 months (in my mind) for this to have been successful. Nothing like putting pressure on myself  .  Looking forward to more good news from you - you are giving me hope missus! 

Honor - how are things with you and DD?  Good I hope. xxx

Afm: well, all on track for Greece.  Where we had hoped to be able to cram in a weekend away, it now looks as though DH will be working so, yet again I'll be travelling abroad to have a general anaesthetic etc on my own. Which, from last time, I do remember there is a slightly odd feeling - you realise you have put so much trust in everyone over in a country where you don't speak the language - get a taxi to a hospital you don't know, get put to sleep, taxi back to the clinic for a follow-up chat, and then back on the plane hoping that nothing has gone wrong. Oh well, maybe we will get a holiday nearer christmas!  

Enjoy the rest of your weekend ladies.
xx


----------



## Big hat

Oooops, sorry Pooky - missed you off there. Hope all's well with you - DH is settled in his new job, and that you managed to sort out a nanny.  I'm sure you're on top of it all. xxx


----------



## 1972

Thanks ladies. 

Honor- I've had 3 scans now! 2 at EPU and one private. Do not know how you waited til 13 weeks!!!! My due date is 9th June which is also my mums bday  x

Curly- it's coming ever nearer. Such a shame you are going on your own? Have you not got a close friend that could accompany you? Your a brave girl. I wish you all the luck xxxx

Hi everyone else. Keep dipping in to check on Hanna- hope you are ok sweetie x


----------



## Carey

1972 - great news on a strong HB so sorry to hear the other twin didn't make it.... Must be mixed emotion but hope the happiness over powers the sadness xxx

Curly - thanks, I've been slowly making a list of questions to take with me, its even closer now my appt has been brought forward. Hope u get that break before christmas and ready for ur treatment xx

Pooky - would be fab to meet up soon if ur this way xx

AFM - my appt. been brought forward to 22nd Nov...... I rand doctors today to arrange all my tests that have run out & need re doing, its all still feeling really strange. Trying go get my treatment head back on my shoulders, preparing myself & my body.

Love to u all xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey ladies,
Sorry I have been awol... Just been very busy lately, so haven't really had time or energy...

1972- I'm so so glad to hear there was that ickle heartbeat. Sorry to hear about the twin not making it  Take care and do not work too hard!!  

Carey- Hope you are relaxing ahead of your tx... Wishing you luck xx

Pooky-Hope babies are well, saw they've been poorly xx

Curly- Try to take some 'me-time' on your trip, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself a bit even though you have to take the trip alone. I am rooting for you xx
Everyone- Hope you are well!!

afm. So, I have been rather busy at work lately and also tried to remove myself from this all for a bit again... 
I am confused, since my last tx, which ended up in huge af, I am still waiting for my next af, today it is day 36, when normally I've been 28-30. NOW, do not get all excited. I have serious af symptoms for the whole week, my boobs are not sore in the slightest, so my explanation is, my ovaries aren't now working at all 
This is just God's way to twist the knife in the wound, I think. 
Off sick from work today as woke up with a huge cold this morning and a sore throat. Hubby is working away, did I tell you he got a job? Anyways, he works away for a week and then is home for a week. Rather good arrangement really, I get to clean the house and relax with my candles every other week as candles give him a headache and disturb his PS-playing  
Right, I am off to bed with some hot soup... 
Take care all xxx


----------



## Hannushka

update... af arrived on cd37...


----------



## 1972

Hanna, I'm sorry to hear AF has been messing you around. It takes a while to settle after TX, mine were erratic for 6 months. Do not give up hope on your ovaries!! I hope DH is looking after you . Big hugs xxxxx

Carey- not long now xx


----------



## Honor77

Hugs to Hanna... The witch's cruelest joke - messing you around after tx. Let her do her worst, 1 day you WILL get the better of her. Glad to hear DH has a job and it's working out well. Another piece in the jigsaw, the rest will follow. Be kind to yourself. xxx


----------



## Big hat

'72 - 9 June - how fabulous.  Hope you're not too tired. Isn't the 1st trimester really tiring, the 2nd fabulous, and the 3rd...er, well..eventful  . xx


Carey - How are you?  Any news?

Hanna - Sweetie, so sorry.  As Honor says, good news on DH's job front We all still live in hope your dream will come true, and it does seem your consultant has a bit more about them than you had over here. xx

Afm: well, am booked to fly out next week for hysto.  Good news is a postponement of a major thing for DH means he gets to come too.  I booked the flights today, and can't tell you how excited we are to have a 'holiday'.  He's been working 7day weeks for the past 4 years (not 9-5. just constant). Admittedly, Friday I will be a right old groggy mess after hysto but....I think we are quite giddy at the prospect of a) being on a flight together, b) going somewhere which doesn't involve either him working or us having to do a big social occasion, and c) being away from everything and doing the next 'baby' step towards whatever the end of this journey will be.

lots of love and night night all.
xx


----------



## 1972

Fab news curly and really pleased  DH is coming with you ))))

I'm still knackered. I dunno if it's an age thing, I'll be 42 when I pop - but I've seriously struggled with symptoms and tiredness. I feel terrible for saying it and although ecstatic to be at this point, I'm not enjoying being pregnant. I hope it's just a phase and 2nd trimester, I bloom lol!! 

Almost 11 weeks, private scan Sunday then 12 week following Monday!

Hi to everyone xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Evening ladies,

How did your scan go today 1972? So sorry to hear that you lost a twin. Sad news. I'm so pleased that you have one little baby with a strong heartbeat. Sorry I'm not very good with words at the moment. I hope you feel better soon. My morning sickness and tiredness went around 15weeks...  One woman in my twins group had them at 47.... I've no idea how she does it!

Curly one - good luck with your hysto. I was very dopey for a few days after mine. How many trips will you have to do to Athens? I'm so pleased that dh is going with you now. I've got everything crossed for you.

Hanna - how are you? Boo to your af mucking you around. I hope it's settling down now.

ATM. I'm in the last week of my 30's.... Cripes. How did that happen? I'm having a party on Saturday to celebrate. I'm looking forward to letting my hair down. It's been a tough few weeks and me and dh could do with a party


----------



## Honor77

Hey Buds, thinking of you all today after spending a lovely day in Edinburgh with a friend I made through FF right back when I first joined the site. We hadn't met before, only been in touch via mail and text, but felt like we'd known each other well for years and already met up regularly! She has twin girls, through FET, just 3 weeks younger than Baby M. Was amazing to meet up with our babies after having met under the circumstances under which we met. Anyhow, made me think of you all and remember our fab Cheesecake Fest this time 2 (?) years ago, and all the other lovely ladies I've got to know on FF and in some cases met. In the end, my journey turned out to be fairly short and easy in comparison to so many others, but I wouldn't have made it through quite so easily/sanely without you all.

Seems like this/next week is a big one for some Buds, with 1972's scan, Curly's trip to Greece and Pooky turning 40! 
1972: How did you get on? Bet it was an emotional experience. 
Curly: I hope everything goes well and as a result progress is made, also that you and DH can enjoy your little trip away - sounds like one is well overdue, though I vote you plan another little break that gurantees to be stress free!
Pooky: In case I'm not in touch before - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy your party on Saturday, and hope the transition into the next decade goes smoothly! 

Everyone else: Sorry no more personals today but hope you're all well and happy.

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

Yes, cheesecake fest was 2 years ago this month. How time flies!!! That was a lovely day to meet you all. Pooky had her BFP a few days after I seem to remember, I was on 2WW I think. 

Scan Sunday was 10+6 and all good. Perfect size, heard heartbeat and it was jigging about. I never expected to see it move and that was best bit for me   have 12 wk on 25th and consultant next day. I'm on consultant led care due to age, first preg, occasional high BP, loss of twin and large external fibroid. Happy with that though as will hopefully mean I'm more looked after. 

Hope everything's ok Pooky? My 40th feels like a distant memory lol! Have a fab party xxx

Good luck with hysto curly xxxxx

Hi honor, Hanna, Carey and anyone lurking xx


----------



## Big hat

'72 -  Wow - you're scan sounds amazing.  You are going to one pampered mama with all of your handmaidens to look after you.    Btw - you're making me worried now - I'm older than you and this job has got me so tired (I may even have to get glasses). if we are successful I won't be able to get out of bed  . xx  

Pooky - gosh  it was 2 years since we all met and celebrated your birthday - when your babies were just beyond the twinkle stage.  Wow!  Happy 40th me lovely, I'm sure you will have a wonderful party. Afterall, what's not to celebrate, you have a wonderful DH, 'one of each', a lovely home, both of you have good jobs - that is worth a glass or two of bubbles!!! xxx Trips to Athens - hopefully just 2 - this one for hysto and DH fragmentation test (fingers crossed all's ok there - he's been very good for the last 3 months), and then next time for ET. 

Honor - sounds like Edinburgh was lovely, and a good reminder of what true friends can be made on this odd little journey we have been (and are) on.  I certainly know that none of my friends we see all the time know what is going on with us at the moment, or indeed know we are in Athens this weekend (I suppose it depends whether DH updates ********). I don't think it matters how long your journey was; for you it seemed an eternity and you suffered ups and downs like all of us.  Have a good weekend lovely, and give you DD a big cuddle from us all. xx

Hanna - are you around me lovely? How are you?  

Lynn - hope things seem better with you -  I saw that you were having a tough time - sending you me love. xx

hugs all 

Curly
xx


----------



## 1972

Lol curly.   sorry! I'd say take first 12 weeks off work   you'll be exhausted! Lol. I'm sure we all cope differently bit it's the absolute exhaustion that's got me worst, it's indescribable... But, if it leads to a little one , I'll take it xx

Happy cheescake fest anniversary time of year and happy birthday for Saturday Pooky xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Oh! Just a little late - been on a rare night out! - but HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our lovely Bud Pooky! Hope you've had an amazing day & party. xxx

In case I don't post before Monday: Hope your 12-week scan goes well, 1972. Hope too you're feeling ok, or will do soon. It's definitely more than worth it! Just take care of yourself & your precious little one xxx

Curly: I have problems best of times with remembering who's where doing what when & am too tired & lazy to scroll back on phone (which usually also equals disaster...) but was it this weekend you were in Greece? If so, hope you had a good flight over & all has gone well. If not, apologies for my rubbish memory... xxx

Hanna: How are you doing? Am praying that 1972 will be successfully passing on the baby batton to you very soon. Let us know how you are & what your next moves are xxx

Twinklie, who passed on the baby batton to 1972: Hope pregnancy no. 2 is progressing well. When are you due? xxx

Lynn: Sent you a ******** message the other day. Hope you are ok?! Please get in touch & let me know xxx

Same to you squirrel,  if you are lurking - mailed you the other day, was thinking about you & would love to hear from you. xxx

Kat too, if you're lurking, please pop in and let us know how you are. Often think of you, lovely lady xxx

Carey: What's new with you? Have you had your appointment re. FET? Sorry, rubbish memory strikes again... Hope Oliver is doing well xxx

Rachel: Long time no hear. How are things with you? Is Ethan all sorted with school now?  xxx

Anyone I've missed: hugs to you all, wherever you are and whatever you may be doing right now,  hope you're all well & happy.


----------



## Carey

Hi gang,

How are we all? 
1972 gopd luck re scan today, how exciting.
Pooky happy belated birthda, loving the pics on **, the wigs are fab xx
Honor All is good thx. Oliver is well, cheeky as ever. All good with u guys? Xx
Hanna how r u? Xx
Curly, kat hello to u both xx
One my phone so hard to look back hello to every one else xxxx
AFM- i had my appt fri, it went ok. The consultant said the eggs that are frozen r good quality 4ab & 3bb. Going to thaw both to see what they thaw like then put best one back. Got to call them on the 1st day of the cycle we want to start on, so early part of next year. Having two scans at wymondham then ET at cambridge, as that were my eggs are being stored. I Can either have injections or spray for 2 or 3 wks then tablets for a further 2. Had to go through all the pAper work again..... But feeling quiet positive xxxx


----------



## Nordickat

Blimey, must be 6 months since I've even logged on.


Pooky happy belated birthday and I hope you can find a happy balance soon.
Hanna big hugs. Hang in there xxx
Curly lots of luck to you ....... and enjoy the sunshine 
1972 huge congratulations and I hope you can enjoy it all soon xxx
Honor I hope you are settled and happy these days?
Carey hello 


2 years since we last met hey? Hopefully I'll meet up with Squirrel and Karen again in the new year which will habe us reminicing about london again  I'm meeting up with 4 other lovely FF ladies in march. We are all at the same stage of building lives without kids which has highs and lows but I'm in good company on the journey at least. 


Lots of good wishes for all of you for road ahead. Catch up in another 6 months ;-)
Katxxx


----------



## Big hat

KAT!!!!!! - Hello me lovely!!!!!  I've missed you - sorry for not being in touch.  You sound good, like you're in a good place, and so pleased you are seeing Squirrel and Karen - I hope they're doing well also. xxxxxxxxxxxx

Carey - all sounds quite exciting with you. x

'72 - how are you me darling?  Hope the nausea is starting to ease.  What's the update?

Honor - not to worry re: not remembering - I think you are most probably more than a bit busy. xx

Afm: yes. I went to Serum last weekend, and fortunately DH was able to join.  We actually had a really lovely weekend (although DH seeing DVD evidence of my womb receiving implantation cuts and a polypectomy was possibly more than he ever, in his wildest dreams, thought he would have to fface with a partner/wife ).  Met, randomly at 6am, another FF'er at the hospital so we became 'hysteroscopy buddies' for the day, then we went for dinner with some other FF'ers who were at the clinic for their ET.  DH had a completely surreal time of being in company and talking openly about what us/our experience and history - he has never done that before.  Like all of us meeting 2 years ago - that refreshing feeling of knowing you are normal in the company your in - lots of laughter and exchange of experience etc.  Very refreshing, and along with the loveliness of Athens, very good for us.

It all seems like we are now moving into the next stage very rapidly.  I came back with a suitcase full of drugs and eek   this time I am going to have to inject clexane (never thought that would be part of my journey) - DH has been told he is going to have to take his turn 'stabbing' me in the belly - we're gonna live this together  .

Anyway me darlins' back to Homeland.

hugs all

Kat, please give my love to Karen and Squirrel - feel I'm going to need to remember all of your sarcasm, wise words and humour as I go on this next journey with fingers crossed.

Curly
xxx


----------



## Pookychops

When do you start then curly? It's good to hear you sounding positive after your trip and it's good that you and hubby had some quality time together and met some other ffs  ooh exciting!

1972 how's the morning sickness? It should hopefully go soon. I hope you don't have any more trips to hospital and that you can start to enjoy your pregnancy. I did a lot of relaxation cds.... 

Hanna  how are you?

Carey when are you going to start again? In the new year? Have you seen the pics of cromer pier? A chunk of the village my mum lives in fell into the sea. A lot of the sea lion pups at horsey have been lost due to the floods :-(

Honor how are you? 

Kat lovely to see you. I think of you often and hope that you are ok and coping with the demons.


----------



## Big hat

Hi Pooky, 

Good to hear from you.  Hope all's going well there in chez Pooky!  Me, just finished brown cyclacurs, and am all tooled up ready to start clexane injections  . With all the medication I do seem to have something of a pharmacy hiding in the wardrobe.  Christmas visits are going to be interesting!

Hi to all   Hope you're all getting ready for crimbo, and having a lovely time.x

hugs

Curly
x


----------



## 1972

Hi all

Exciting news curly. Have you started clexane now? Whats the next stage?? 

Lovely to see you Kat. I did email the hang a few months back but only heard from karen. Lots if love to you and squirrel. 

I'm doing so so. Had a fairly rough ride it feels like. Ended up in A&E a few weeks back bleeding and cramping. But, all was ok. Is making the journey an anxious one and I've really not enjoyed it so far. Still can't believe it. 15 weeks now. Morning sickness gone , yay!!!!!! Still exhausted . Struggled with bad cold this weekend making me feel rough. 

Hope you are all getting ready for Xmas? I feel very unprepared ! Most presents bought but little imagine and not as much cost as usual.  Looking forward to time off. Xx


----------



## Nordickat

So sorry for not getting back to you before 1972 :-( Life is very up and down and on the downs I do still tended hide from the world. 


Lots of luck curly. I''m sure you'll do just fine without my sarcasm lol. Ouch to the clexane!


Hi everyone else xxx


----------



## Big hat

Just thought I'd pop in and say Happy Christmas   !!!

Kat - please feel free to send me random sarcastic comments either on here or by email, just to keep me on my toes  

Afm - Af arrived 16 December, and we are still waiting for our lovely donor to be ready for us to start tx proper.  Seems like an endless wait, and reckon we will not be getting ET until later in January than originally thought.  Feels like an endless wait, but it does mean I am not going to be trying to combine christmas with clexane injection timings... 

Wishing you all a wonderful day.

xx


----------



## Twinklie

Happy Christmas everyone!

Curly - hope you'll be able to start soon, I know it seems like forever when you're ready to get going, but I think being able to celebrate Christmas without being in the middle of it will only be helpful.

1972 - good to hear all is going well, if a bit nerve-racking! Why can't it ever be straight-forward? I guess your anomaly scan will be coming up soon. Are you having a gender scan before then? Not sure how it works in the UK anymore.

All good here, can't believe how fast this autumn has gone. Not that many weeks left now, feels surreal even though it's the second time. Feeling so lucky, just hope nothing will happen now at the end. Always a worrier...

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas!


----------



## 1972

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas. I hope you have a wonderful time with lived ones. Xxxx

Fab news curly. Xx


----------



## Honor77

And a very merry Christmas from me too! Enjoy 

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Big hat

HI ladies,

I just wanted to say an enormous Wish for a Happy New Year and 2014 for you all  .  2013 for some of us can, I'm sure, close the door behind it when it leaves!

72 - fabulous news on team pink!   Here's hoping they settle down and stop giving you worries.

Honor - hope 2014 sees many happy things happening.

Hanna, Pooky, Kat, Rachel, Lynn, Squirrel, Carey, Twinklie and Karen - thinking of you all (and anyone else I've not mentioned).

Afm - 2014 is entering with me moon faced from the steroids, sore teeth, headaches, bloated belly, raging ovaries and mood swings - Yeah!  I could be the unexpected one at the party tonight - god knows which way my mood could go  .  Start my injections tomorrow  .

take care me lovelies.

Curly

xx


----------



## Carey

Wishing u all a happy new year, lots of luck and happiness to u all xxxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Happy new year ladies! Hoping it brings you all everything you wish for, whatever that might be xxxxx

As curlys spotted, I'm having a girl. Suddenly seeming very real although fraught with symptoms constantly it seems. If I could leave work now, I would!

Carey- had private gender scan this week. Had to bridge gap between 12-20 wk scan but bonus to find out sex. 

Was in hospital Boxing Day as had a bleed. Been diagnosed with low laying placenta, and also measuring around 26 weeks although only coming up 18. Large uterus, high up due to large fibroid means I'm already v uncomfortable! But.. This was never going to be straightforward. 

Hope  everyone had a lovely Christmas. Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Happy New year everyone!

Curly I hope all is going well with you. Do you have any dates yet?

1972 I remember the scare of bleeding all too well. Sending you a big hug and I hope you don't get too many more bleeds. Will you have to have a c section or do they think the placenta will lift up out of the way?


----------



## Hannushka

Hello everyone,
hope you have all had a wonderful christmas time and a good start for the year...
I have lurked every now and again but find it hard to put in words anything worth while as of late... I hate the fact that the thing I had with my now ex-best friend has made me so scared I can't really say a word without thinking if I'm going to get the same kind of backslash as she did... I don't think I could take it anymore...
Anyhows, trying to be a bit more upbeat, promise!!  

I have received my meds for the next round and they cost me a whole of 7€   Big thanks go to the doctor who finally allowed me to collect the prescriptions before the year changed so the Finnish health-care-system paid all the rest of the medicine costs. 
I will have the endometrial scratch on the 27th of this month and should get my af around 1.2-3.2. My medical history apparently went through several doctors and finally to a professor even, who made th final tweaks to my program. ..
So on the day 2 of cycle I shall start straight away with puregon every other day + 1 shot of a hormone called ELONVA which should last for 7 days, on the day 7 will have ultra-sound-scan and probably start on Orgalutran. Has any of you heard from this? What I am really happy about is the fact i do NOT have a nasal spray, this are all needles! Am i weird to actually like sticking them in my belly?? 

I should be feeling very positive, but the fact is, I am not. This is my last chance, and I get the feeling that if this program was planned by the big professor, then, if this doesn't work, nothing ever will, and it scares the sh*t out of me!

I asked my hubby to change my pw on ** for the whole of february so I will stay away from there but he refused, he firmly believes I should have enough willpower to stay away, but I know I won't  
My panic is coming already and I feel this anxious pressure in my chest... I feel rather lonely actually, like I need to talk (read:CRY) to someone but can not think of any actual person I can do it to 
Am I going mad? 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Hanna, please don't feel lonely, or that you've no one to talk to  - we're all here - just not as frequently as we were. Also, please don't put so much pressure on yourself that this has to be 'the one time only option'.  The fact that they have got the professor involved is positive, and it's a new approach.  Don't assume that it will fail - give it a chance.  Hope for the best and prepare for the worst     It will be as it will be but, at least you know that you're medical team are giving you the best that they know how to (at the moment).  AND - no nasal sprays YAY!   Still go on ** if it makes you feel better - your will power will kick in soon enough if you find yourself bored of it and feeling you don't want to read other's posts or put anything yourself.

So, treat yourself to your favourite food, give DH a hug, and just go with the flow in the tx - the outcome may surprise you and be a BFP!  

Pooky - hello to you!  Hope all is good in your world - is DH planning another boys skiing trip, or is that your treat this year  ?

Afm: I'm up shortly.  Like Hanna, the kitchen sink seems to be getting thrown at me - I'm a bit like a pincushion at the moment (though secretly pleased that my bruising is minimal, apart from where I wiggled the needle  ).  I'm even having an intralipid drip before ET.  So, we shall see what happens.  It will be as it will be. Not much else I can do now except strap myself in for the rest of the ride  .

hugs all..  I'll let you know the outcome......

xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna - Sorry you're feeling so down. I'm keeping everything crossed for you and will be thinking of you.           

Curly - lots of luck!!!     

Hugs to everyone else


----------



## Honor77

Happy New Year, Buds! Wishing each and every one of you a happy and healthy 2014    

Sorry I haven't posted sooner - we had a lovely but very busy Christmas and then just after New Year, Baby M got ill and then passed it on to me... 

Twinklie: I take it everything is going well with you?

Hanna & Curly: That's great that you guys can be cycle buddies - it is always a scary prospect so would be lovely if you could enter into your new cycles together. We're here too though, for both of you. It's only natural to go through all the emotions, but always feel free to share, question, koan or enthuse! We'll all be here rooting for you and sending positive vibes your way for a happy outcome. 

1972: How are things with you? It certainly does make it feel a whole lot more real once you know who's in there - hope you'll be able to relax a little more too.

Pooky: Hello! Hope you had a lovely Christmas and that the Pookettes had lots of fun! 

Sorry such a short message. Love and hugs to all,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies

Hanna- always here to talk. Or send a PM on ******** of you ever need to sound off. Happy to try and help. The process is always difficult and I think it triggers a sŵirch in all of us where you aren't fully yourself. You're not going mad! Fab news re your drug costs. I've not heard of those drugs. Wishing you all the best and everything crossed for you. Xxx

Curly- so good the balls finally rolling , hope not too many more bruises. What's your dates for ET? Everything crossed for you too xxx

Fingers crossed, no more bleeding since Boxing Day. 20 week scan Monday so praying all ok with the little miss and that placenta may have moved. Part of me is tempted to request an elective section as I'm a bit anxious about placenta/ fibroid issues I've had. Don't see consultant again for another 8 weeks so who knows..

Hope everyone else is good and coping with miserable, cold, wet January!!


----------



## Honor77

Quick one!

1972: Sorry to hear your having an uncomfortable pg.. Hope your scan went well yesterday. 20 weeks - wow!

Hanna & Curly: Just to let you know that I'm thinking of you as you're about to embark on your cycles (if I remember correctly??).

Hugs to everyone else.

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hello me dears,

Just a quick one.  I had ET on 15 January, and have been incubating ever since. We had fantastic 10 embryos, 8 went to blast, 3 put back and 5 on ice. 

Hideous pains yesterday left me bracing myself for the mother of all AF's. Sent DH to Burn's Night dinner on own, for fear of what injury I might inflict on the bagpipes!  OTD is tomorrow, and have big week on so, tested this morning to get it out the way. In shock with a   (2 definite lines). Am now bracing myself for the tsunami of 20 years of suppressed emotion and dreams (and tongue biting on the real answer I'd like to have given re: do you not want/have children?) to break free of their tether!!!   Am just gonna sit and hug my dog until it all passes..... haven't woken DH to tell him yet.... 

HCG test is tomorrow, and my job is fulfilling. and looking as though the contract is going to be extended until October (timing)! After the heartbreaking last few years (which does seem to coincide with moving into this house) of failed tx and unemployment this moment feels very surreal, and not happening without a lump in my throat.    I know, silly old curly !

Think of you all often.

big hugs 

Curly
xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Congratulations!     
So you had three put back, I wonder what that will mean...!   

Hanna - how are you?   

Honor - Everything is going fine so far, thank you! Feeling rather huge at the moment and looking forward to going on maternity leave in a week's time (working from home now, so it's not too bad). I expect baby to pop out at around 41 weeks just like his big brother, but of course he could come any time now. Yikes. Getting a bit nervous, but hopefully everything should go well. Hope you and baby M are doing well.

Love to everyone else.


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh curly. That's fantastic news 😃 go wake dh and tell him and then sob and smile at the same time.. I'm so glad I checked in this morning with you guys. Xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Curly!!!!      what amazing news!!!!! I am so so so so happy for you!!! Take it easy now honey, I honestly honestly let out a little screech of happiness when I read this!   

Hope you are all doing great!
afm. Doing ok, though I have been taking these Terolut tablets to keep cycle steady and now have an acne, really bad  
Went out yesterday with my friends for an awesome dinner at a local Turkish restaurant and after a bit of boogie in night club, much needed that was, but my face...   It  does not like ANY make up atm, however there is no WAY I'm leaving the house with these itchy dry spots on me so I am in a vicious cycle now... I know, little worry really... Tomorrow going for the endometrial scratch and not long till af arrives and that is when I'm back on the game... a little excited, much afraid, this is our last chance for a long time... last free tx... no pressure, eh?


----------



## Big hat

Ladies,

Thank you so much - all a bit surreal, and yes Twinklie, I too am wondering quite what may be in store in terms of numberS   !  I didn't realise it was so close for you.  I'll be thinking of you over the next few weeks  .

Pooky - thank you so much!  DH finally woke, and after struggling to focus on the poas instructions, has been rather serenely happy all day  . xx

Hanna - oooo, you're next up! What indignities we go through on this journey hey - think of the spots as a cleansing process (is this helping?  ) making you all ready for baby. Good luck for the endometrial scratch providing the perfect snuggling place for your embies. xxx

big hugs to all cheesecake ladies.
xxx


----------



## Honor77

Oh Curly! I'm fighting back the tears of happiness for you as I sit here on the sofa in the living room with my parents!  That is such incredibly fantastic news! I really need to tell you guys all about a positive moment of the day exercise I am doing with another lovely FF friend and, Curly, today yours far trumps what I'd already reported as my positive moment for today!

Hanna: Hang in there *hugs*. Still got everything crossed for you. 

Hi and love to everyone else!

xxx


----------



## Carey

Curly- huge congrats to u hun, how exciting xx

Twinkle - hope lo arrives soon, good luck xx

Honor - how ru? Hope all is ok? Xx

Hanna - sounds like u had a fun night out. So ur starting treatment soon... We maybe cycle buddies   xx

Pooky - how r u all? Xx

Hi to everyone else xx

AFM - AF arrived today which means a call to the clinic to arrange our FET... Mixed emotions. Got lots going on in the nxt few months... Oliver turns two in 4wks and hubby is 30 a mth later. Two party's for me to arrange xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey, 
Why in God's name nobody told me it feels like being stabbed to have the friggin scratch done?!!!?? I do not think I have EVER endured such pain. Nurse standing there telling me 'keep your eyes open-open your eyes, NOW' and me grabbing her arm and squeezing it so hard she probably has bruises by now... .
I do ask myself 'WHY did I ASK them to do this, inSISTED on having it done It better be no pain-no gain situation    . 
phew, rant over, hope you are all well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Honor - you're so lovely   - please do tell us more about your positive moment for the day exercise you're doing - I like the sound of it. xx

Carey - how fantastic!  Don't they say that things come in 3's - so, three celebrations!!! xxx

Hanna - Ooooo, they did mine when they did my hysteroscopy, under full anesthetic.  Sorry!  I have heard that in some places they don't put you to sleep - seeing the DVD of what they did, I can totally sympathise with you. Just keep thinking, it may be the final piece of the jigsaw. xx

Afm:  Had first blood test today - HCG was 824 IU/L and progesterone was 88.4.  The clinic says it's a good number, and I need to have a repeat done on Thursday. We're just wondering how many there may be  . xx

big hugs

Curly

xx


----------



## Hannushka

curly: I swear they used like a surgical scalpel or what ever it is... She said it will feel a bit like a pap- test with just a tiny little extra pinch... my   !! You do not know how happy I am for you though, I must-I must-I must join you with the bfp!!!! 
#determined-dot-com


----------



## Honor77

Curly: I'm eating something you can't eat! Coleslaw! Heee hee - no mayo for pregnant buds! 
I swear I'm still on cloud 9 for you so can't begin to imagine your joy! Tho I guess there must be an inevitable feeling of disbelief and anticipation mixed in there. 
Positive moment info to follow...!

Hanna: Poor you! Your baba is going to come into the world to some serious "do you know what I went through for you?!" glares! 
Hope the rest of your cycle is less painful and goes smoothly! 

Carey: How exciting that you're starting to cycle soon! How lovely if you & Hanna can be cycle buddies. 
Exciting times ahead for you in the next few months! 

I have a feeling I may have missed a reply to someone here, but daren't scroll back on my phone - risky!

AFM: Am in a very good, happy place - feel very blessed for what I have and enjoying life. Something that has possibly helped with this is something I read about and started doing a while ago called "positive moment of the day". After leaving DH, I already felt happier & more relaxed but did feel like I needed to be more positive. I realised that DH was quite a negative person and that some of that had rubbed off on me so was keen to rid myself of that. I know there's often been much talk of "positive thinking" on here (& often is elsewhere too) but that's definitely easier said than done and kind of "simplistic" - exactly how can you think positively when feeling low and how can you make sure your consistent with this, without it feeling difficult or like a chore? I read an article that explained how easy it is to overlook the little things that do or can make you smile or feel good every day, and how by stopping to think about and notice these, it can help boost your mood/positivity. Obviously it doesn't provide a solution to any problems you're going through, it's more about feeling as positive and happy in yourself as possible through difficult times but in general too. At first it may seem impossible to see the good in an otherwise rubbish day, but by doing it every day, you are kind of rewiring your mind to think positively more automatically. And the perfect way to "stick to it" is to share your positive moment of the day with someone, same person each day, who also shares theirs with you. I started doing this with a FF friend and every day we message each other to say what our positive moment has been - this can be an overall positive time doing x, y or z or a specific moment. We are also recording our own positive moments in jotebooks. We decided it'd be good to do a kind of chain thing and each ask 1 other person to do this too - she asked her DH and I asked a close friend, this being the close friend who I had some "problems" with when she got pg v.quickly while I was going through IVF & who wasn't very sensitive. Things had been ok again for ages but, I felt, never quite the same, but since doing the positive moment of the day with her, we're again in daily contact and seem closer again, which is great!
Phew! But of a novel there! But I did want to share, & Curly requested (still awake there Curly?!), plus I'm happy to extend my lunch break! I don't think it'd work to share with too many people but if anyone was interested, I'm happy to add another person to my "group", who could then add 1 or 2 others who may be interested.

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

hey ladies,
Curly (and Honor) : Coleslaw can be made with creme fresh too...  
Honor: Sounds very very good, would do good for me but I am not taking any extra duties for my cycle now  In fact I'm even de-activating the **-account... (we'll see how long THAT will last)
Carey: any news? I'm a tiny bit confused with my body at the moment, it's doing strange things... at the wrong time... however, I think I will be only like 5 days behind you with transfer if all goes well...
1972: Hey honey, thought I explain here my upcoming **-exodus... After what happened during last tx, I can not take any backslash from no-one so I thought best to stay away. I noticed my bitterness was already raising it's head and I was secretly feeling super annoyed that my friend was complaining about having a cold... (because OF COURSE my problems are the biggest in the world and no-one should dare to complain about their life, esPECIALLY if they have a child    )
This is exactly how it all started last time and I ended up ranting and raving in my status telling people how a coffee stain in their car seat is not the sort of subject they should be moaning about... Who am I to decide this? This I know but as I can't help it, I'll rather go away and rant at you all here  
afm: So last pill of the Terolut was yesterday-day 25 of cycle but I'm having spotting today already?!! Even without those my cycle has been normally 28-30 days wtf?! Or is this because of the endometrial scratching? I did have spotting straight after that but since last night I've had abdominal pains and started spotting about midday today... Now, I'm supposed to start puregon &Elonva on day 2 of cycle so I'm not now sure what to do, gonna have to call clinic tomorrow morning? Could they see with a scan if this actually is af or not? Why oh why nothing ever goes smoothly with me?? 
Much love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hanna - life would be dull if simple.... Mind you, you need simple and straight forward now and it all to run like clockwork. Thinking of you lots and I hope this works for you. I've got everything crossed.

Curly - how are you?
Carey - good luck. Xxxx

Hi to everyone else. Apols for not posting much too many sleep deprived nights and too much work makes pooky a dull girl!


----------



## Big hat

Hello me dears,

Honor - You sound like you are in such a fabulous place,   and I am so pleased you and your friend actually now seem to have a stronger friendship than ever before.  It sounds like it is a friendship that will now be with you for the rest of your lives. Fantastic!  As  is finding the positive moments in every day - there should always be even just that little bit of sunshine breaking through the clouds, even on the worst of days. xxx

Hanna - You rant away me dear!   We don't mind.  I have a feeling the spotting may be from the endometrial scratch - isn't that supposed to encourage the blood flow to the area, and so should create an improved 'home' and lining. Hopefully, this will be the last set of hurdles before bfp for you too!!!!! xxx  Can't wait to hear news of your journey. xx

72 - how are you?

Carey - do you have your FET date yet?

Twinklie - any sign of arrival yet?

Pooky - don't you dare laugh - hcg today 3572!!  Progesterone 107.  Yup, DH has already sent me a photo of a people carrier with the label 'that's your car that is'.  I replied with a photo of an audi Q7  ..... 

So, creme fraiche coleslaw it is, and I'm going to put in the order for the neon sign hat that says 'Over 40 IVF'er'  . I think I'm in shock...(or that could just be the random cramping still affecting my hands and feet)

hugs all, and nit nit.xx

Curly

xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Cripes Curly! When is your scan?  One, two, three........? 

Hanna and Carey, hope all is going well for you. Here for you if you need us.

Honor you sound happy. I just noticed your new year message the other day. I've no idea how I missed it but I was shattered and ill then. So apologies for not replying. 

Xxx to you all


----------



## Hannushka

Hey all,
Curly:   quadruplets, I say  
Carey: Where are you at now? I'm about to call the clinic in a moment to book first scan to see if these doublewammieneedles have actually done anything...
Pooky: Thank you, I try to rant in a civil way if I need to, suppose you got enough crankiness on you plate without a thirtyfive year old 'BUT-IT'S-NOT-FAIR' foot stomper!  
Everyone:  
afm. So, af it was, and God damn painful one, I wonder if the scratch made it that way, seriously, I was a bit worried for a minute there... So started wit  the both Elonva and Puregon on saturday, following the program to the letter, the specially written program that the nurse gave me... which said to take both on the morning of day 2... All good before I turned the puregon box around... 'start on day 1'    wtf! Why are these people doing this to me Last cycle there was no instruction at all, and I took only half the synarela I was meant to!! Well, I frantically went through more papers and found another one that also said 'start day 2' so thats 2-1 for day 2 then so maybe it's all ok... But it should not be this way *stomping foot* !! 
Aaand, I did it! I de-activated **, and have been away for 2,5 days! And, contrary to what you may think after reading the rant above, I really really am less stressed... It has been really nice to come home and not sit by the laptop all night, just checking ff and another page of mine , sort of a blog thingy... Last night I didn't even check them   I was almost contemplating of not turning back on ** until I have my scan picture to put on profile... Though that might take years...  
Anyways, I gotta rush, long day at work and then off to mum's, who's having an operation today and needs company for the next 24h after that.... I'm on night shift, my sister taking day-shifts... 
Take care all xxx


----------



## 1972

OMG ladies!!!! Didn't realise I'd been away so long. Lost track of dates. 

Curly - AMAZING news!!!!!!!! Congratulations. I'm so so so happy for you. How many weeks would you be now? I had bloods at 5+3 and was 6000 odd and at 5+6 was 11500 odd... It was twins then... I think we're looking at more than one ?!?!?! So annoyed I didn't check in earlier!! Massive hugs for you. Xxxxxxx

Hanna- your scratch sounds awful :-( I've never had one. Let's hope the pain and discomfort make all the difference this time  . Wishing you all the luck in the world. And well done with the ** amnesty ;-) xxxxx

Honor- you sound very chipper. Glad things are on the up  xxxx

Hi to everyone else. Hope all good with you all x

AFM- I'm 22 weeks now. 20 week scan all was as it should be and she's still a girl   I've bought a few little bits now. A few outfits and bibs. Still feels surreal and I don't quite believe it still. Lots of love x


----------



## 1972

Ps I've eaten **** loads of coleslaw!!! It's only home made mayo you can't eat. Manufactured stuff is pasteurised so it's fine


----------



## 1972

Pps - I put sh&t loads but it's changed it to poop! Lol


----------



## Hannushka

Hey, 
1972- **-amnesty going pretty well, I don't even miss it that much... I am a bit of a loner really and am quite glad I don't have to get involved with everybody elses business at the moment   Only thing, because of my exodus, I missed some bad news about my cousin but eventually the news has got to me too... He is a referee in Ice ball and was in Russia refereeing the world cup final and had a bad accident, probably career-destroying one and is plastered up from ankle to thigh  See, these are the times when I realize I am not the only one with bad luck and other people have it too...   However, his wife is pregnant   so this doesn't count... he he... (I'm awful   )
afm. Tomorrow is my scan, been taking puregon now 3 shots + the other med that lasts for 7 days in body from one shot, but I feel nothing, there are no eggs there, they are not growing!!   During the day my boobies are pinching a bit but evening, nothing, I feel no different to any other time, so it's obviously bad news... OBVIOUSLY.. Hubby refuses to have any speculating conversations about this tx and it annoys me   however I know he is already searching for ivf clinics in Romania so it is quite telling...
Uuuh! Please can I have a dull and easy life please, PLEASE!


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna - how did your scan go? I hope it was more positive than you expected.     

1972 - that surreal feeling isn't going away anytime soon. Maybe when you get home from the hospital. Maybe...   Glad to hear your latest scan went well!

Curly - how are you?

Carey - any news?

Hope everyone is OK. I'm fine, finally have some time off to prepare for the big event... Which I'm sure won't be for another 10 days or so. But then again who knows?? Talk about feeling surreal...


----------



## Carey

Hello my lovely ladies..

I'm so sorry for not being on for a few weeks.

Lots of things happening on here over the past wk or so.

Curly - How are you? Do you have a scan date as yet? xx

Honor - I hope your OK xx

Pooky - Hope your all feeling better now xx

1972 - Wow 22 weeks thats gone so fast, great to hear your scan went well xx

Twinklie - Good luck for the forth coming event   Exciting   xx

Hanna - Hun, I'm sorry Ive not been here to support you but i have been thinking of you. How was your scan today? Do you start a course of tablets now? Have you got a rough date for ET? Hope your mums operation went well   xxx

AFM - So i have a start date, that didn't come without alot of added stress. I'm having treatment split between two clinics so the lack of cumminication is driving me mad at the mo.... Like you Hanna Ive had instructions on one thing and then different on another.... Grrrrrr. 
So i picked my drugs up yesterday and I'm ready to start my first injection on the 15th Feb  Ive Got my baseline scan booked in for the 5th March when i will then start my next course of drugs being tablets and my endo scan is booked for 18th March. looking to have ET wk commencing the 23RD March..... let the crazy time begin  

xxxxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey ladies x

Carey: Isn't that so annoying! Just when you don't need any added stress... However, try to stay calm, I decided to stay calm too... will not let any extra stress hit me, just thinking 'it is what it is and as long as I stay thorough and double check everything-just in case-it will be ok...'   No tablets for me btw, all needles this time  
Curly: Hope everything is going smoothly  
1972: 22 weeks!!! I missed that earlier, time flies! I am so so so happy for you too  
Pooky: Hope you are good and little ones thriving xx
afm. 
So, been taking puregon now since saturday and had the scan today, not great news... Doctor was saying 'let's see whats going on, the nurses have really put their hope on this ELONVA' 
HUH?! Nurses? Not doctors? So my hopes were sort of shattering there already... Aanyways, four small ones she found, about 10mm... Didn't look pleased and went to consult senior doctor... Puregon now doubled, so taking 150iu every day. BUT, I am not going to stress, nor cry. I can not change anything, I just hope these few ones have something good growing in them, if not, we will start booking tx in Romania next. Good thing, hubby just sold his Skyline in Romania, meaning, we have funds to pay for it   Another stress gone  
Take care you all xxx


----------



## Big hat

hello ladies,

Oo Twinklie - only a few days to go.  That is so exciting! You're having the first cheesecake bubba of the year - yay! Can't wait to hear whether a boy or a girl. xxx

Carey - all sounds a bit stressful, particularly as it is with 2 clinics - always a bit of room for professional rivalry/protectionism, and lucky you being in the middle!! Mind you, it does seem quite romantic and well-fated that you start on valentine's weekend.  Beaming you happy vibes. xx

1972 - As the 2nd cheesecaker up this year, am looking forward to some lovely picks of your little girl. xxx

Hanna - you are fab  .  I'm so glad you're staying calm  .  You're on needles too - must admit, my current sharps bin is full to overflowing, and there are times that the next 2 months of being a pin cushion does seem to be an awfully long stretch ahead..... Just keep thinking, 4 are better than none. Who knows what magic those 4 can come up with.  It's also good that you and DH are looking at options.  It goes to show that, even if he is staying a bit quiet his mind is working and he's looking at solutions - bless (give him a little cuddle). xx

Pooky - hope all's well with you. I have ventured on to one of the twins pages, and boy does it seem that you have to run your day with military precision - my hat goes off to you!!!!!  xxx

Honor - come on lady, lets hear some more of your positive happenings of the day. xxx

Afm: had quite a bit of spotting this week, that developed into bleeding, and thought it was all over. Had another blood test yesterday 44016 from 3572 in 8 days.  All seems to be ok, I just think I must have a pair of wind up merchants on board.  I am trying to find somewhere with availability to do a scan (just bog standard, none of this 4d stuff needed) next Friday in London, or Norfolk on Saturday.  I think proper sleep is going to elude me until I know numbers on board. For now I find it easiest to only think in terms of 2.

have a good weekend all.

xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Quick from from me to curly. Ivf and multiple pregnancy equals more early bleeding. I spent the first 15 weeks petrified and had loads of scans. I think I aged ten years at that time.

Hanna, four good ones can get you where you need to go. Sending magic growing vibes your way xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Calm over! Eggs have left the basket, and I am abso-fookin-lutely sure. Been having ovulation symptoms since yesterday, see, not on any down regulator to stop me from dropping them, find it odd, I did ask on thursday when should I s tart with them but they said to wait...  cd 10 today...     
Curly- Hope spotting has calmed and the quadruplets are snuggling tight  
Off to shop, dinner today of oven baked salmon, spinach and cream sauce and prawn-avocado salad... could do with a nice bottle of crispy white with it tbh...


----------



## Pookychops

When is your next scan Hanna? I'll have a glass of wine for you that helps?


----------



## Pookychops

And I've just had a huge chunk of Bailey's cheesecake....


----------



## Hannushka

Pooky: tomorrow morning is my scan... having real ovulation symptoms, I might commit a crime at the clinic if they have pooped up my tx...


----------



## Carey

Hanna - hope ur scan goes ok, I'm sure everything is ok hun. 
I had needles all the way last time but because its a FET this time thats why ive got tablets which i think are the contraception pill.   For u today xx

Curly - hope u manage to get ur scan done. I know of a few places around Norfolk that do the 4d scan but not 100% they do the normal ones. Hope the spotting stops for u soon too. Yes not sure ive made the right choice of using two clinics but just got to pray it all works out ok. Xx

Pooky - cheesecake and wine! Lucky lady   xx

Xx


----------



## Hannushka

So, shouldve started with down reg. Friday or saturday, ec booked for wed. But doc said thy might fall b4 it as are mature now... Admitted the other doc made a mistake so promised a new tx free... Not much consolation right now. Really peed off... Really really peed off. Gggrrrr


----------



## Hannushka

Sorry, this will be a me-post, hope you are all well...  
Earlier post was from phone so a bit random and short...
So what happened?
I was supposed to start the Orgalutran (down-reg) friday or saturday, I was specifically told not to start with it  as it may affect the follie-growing process  
They found 5 follies on one side and 3 on another, however, the side that had 3, had 4 on thursday so my doc thinks one has already fallen and the rest will follow. There is a chance, however, that the stupid doctor thursday miscounted, as she clearly is prone for mistakes...   
3 of my follies were already size 21-22mm so they were mature but as I hadn't had trigger shot, they couldn't start retrieving them now... 
So, I was given the down reg shot immediately and I have now taken pregnyl at 11pm, wednesday going for EC, and just have to hope there are follies to collect. I'm so annoyed as these were good size now and probably better quality than last time and now they most probably are going to waste. 
I have been promised a new tx if this has to be cancelled and even if we go through with it but it wont result in pregnancy, they will honor me a new tx. But, I may have just wasted 700€ worth of drugs for nothing and have to spend all this money again for new tx    
xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Hanna,

Very cross for you on your behalf . I can see where you're coming from, feeling like a free round of tx if this cycle is cancelled or doesn't work out is no consolation. Of course it's not! There's so much more invested in any cycle of tx than "just" money - the infamous emotional roller coaster, the stress, the time off work, the awkward questions... You've got every right to be fuming . But: try not to give up hope yet & keep believing in having a fighting chance this cycle. It's not over til it has to be, if it comes to either negative option and so you need to try (mmmm... easier said than done, I know) push all that to the back of your mind & concentrate your energies on those great follies you do have. I expect the clinic is mortally embarrassed - not to mention running scared you might sue them (certainly an option) do will be pulling out all the stops to turn it around for you and get you the result you want &, by God, deserve. xxx


Curly: Have I missed something?!  Do you already know the status re.team sizes?! 

1972: How are you and Little Miss 2014?!

Twinklie: News?!

Carey: Sorry, am on my phone & so am trying my best to remember but think you said you now have dates?? I also recall something about your tx being between 2 clinics? All sounds very stressful but hope it'll prove to be the complete opposite. 

Pooky: Baileys cheesecake... now I'm hungry!!!
Love to those Pookettes! 

Sorry if I've missed anyone, been sooo busy recently (tho mainly with lovely things) that last week, I felt ill, I think just from tiredness! 

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey ladies,
Honor-Thank you so much. You were right, people were rallying around me today at the clinic   And you are also right, me stressing too much isn't gonna change anything. I will stand firm though on getting the free tx, AND the meds.
1972-How's it going, all good I hope? xx
Curly- Is everything ok? Have you managed to have a scan yet? xx
Pooky- Ohhhh, cheesecake! Ohh, wine! I haven't had wine for,ummm  since 25.1.... and that is TOOO long! 
Carey-How are you doing?

afm. So we went to the clinic at 8.15am today and dh went to give his sample. I asked the doc whether it would be wisest to do a scan to doublecheck if there is anything before starting to puncture my veins and drug me up with diazepams, but the doctor insisted that she is confident that there will be something to collect, even if the larger ones had dropped, so we went ahead with it. 
I was petrified, not for the eggs but the tiny veins, as every time the nurses keep popping my veins open in both hands as they use too big needles. I shouted to the nurse getting ready 'you're not gonna get it through in my hand, they always end up putting it in my arm in the end' She insisted she will so I said 'well, make sure you pick the tiniest needle you have'  and she laughed. I'd been warming my hands, pumping my fists for a good 10 minutes and for once, first time ever, the needle went in at first try!!!  

The most important part then: 2 follicles to collect and they both had an egg, they were around size 22mmm, so I admit, maybe we have a tiny fighting chance on this one after all... 
AAAND, the biggest suprise of all time was my hubby, his sample for last tx was 43million , I'm not 100% sure what his motility has been before but around 40%. I'm not sure if I've told you but he went on a healthy diet scheme on the new year, hasn't had a drop of alcohol, cut down on cigarettes (smokes electric one in the evening for example rather that running to the balcony every 10 seconds) and cut down sugar from his diet pretty much all together, apart from fruit containing natural sugar, so, not only has he lost 6kg, his sample was 110 million so almost tripled!!! motility was of 65% if I remember right! 
So to any-ANY of you with problems on the male side- I recommend  , cut the sugar, get electric cigarette if you cannot quit completely, and stay off the beer, completely, few months and you will thank yourself later.
They had to puncture some endometriomas again so been in quite a discomfort and going for a mahoossive Chinese buffet straight from the hospital did not help. Have to watch temperature and if it starts raising at all, gotta go to A&E, she said... +got a weeks worth of antibiotics...
So, now the agonizing wait starts, if they do not call, they have fertilized and I will go in on friday, if my phone rings before friday, it's all over... 
Take care you all  xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Ooh Hanna, I so.hope they are getting jiggy and that you don't get a call. You deserve a break after all you've been through this cycle! I'm having a Bailey's now to help you calm your nerves. I have no wine and champagne seems a brut extravagant for a Wed night! Big love to you xxxx

Curly - how are you?

Twinklie - any sign of baby yet?

Carey good luck with fet. I'll have a drink to calm your nerves too ;-)


----------



## Carey

Evening Buds,

Hanna - fab news on your two lovely eggs & fab news about OH sperm count.. Well done to him. Positive vibes being sent your way. Try and stay relaxed & calm ready for ur precious cargo. Xxx

Honor - hope your feeling better now & less tired. Xx

Pooky - yes please   baileys is a fav of mine. I haven't had an alcoholic drink since December... Hopefully will be all worth it xx

Curly - hope ur ok xx

AFM - counting down the days till my first jab... 2 days to go. Mixed feeling but trying to be positive xxx


----------



## Honor77

Wonderful news Hanna! So pleased today went so well. You never know, maybe it'll be the most mucked up cycle ever that will bring you the best result ever! Make sure you make the clinic continue to feel bad and give you the royal treatment!

Carey: Ohhh... almost there! Can imagine that on-the-verge-of-starting-tx feeling!
Hope Oliver is doing well.

Poor Pooky, betwen them Hanna & Carey will have you turning into a right wino! I'd have gone for the champagne. Some friends came round a few weeks ago and we had a lovely evening on the Prosecco!

Curly: Starting to worry... Hope all's well & you've just been mega busy & so not had a chance to post xxx

AFM: I don't do anything to help myself when it comes to combatting tiredness coz I'm always so busy, but I'd rather that & be enjoying life. Loads of lovely things coming up in the diary and constantly grateful for being in such a happy place & being able to share it with Little Miss M (most def. a Little Miss now rather than a baby!). 

xxx


----------



## Big hat

Sorry ladies for silence - work, spotting, and feel like I'm feeding the national grid - exhausted! Anyhoos, scan today - 2 peas in the pod - 2 heartbeats (tres surreal)...

Hanna - fab news on your 2 jewels - hope they realise the enormous expectations their 'aunties' have of them. 

More later, Dh just arrived, and not telling/ showing till tomorrow - valentine's day....


Xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Curly!!! OMG! So happy for you!!   
Everyone   
afm. No call today so at least they have fertilized, one or both...
Feeling super uncomfortable, belly is like a football, could have something to do with the massive Chinese meal I had yesterday... Didn't really think about the whole gluten-free diet   as it surely can't be to do with ohss considering the minimal amount of follies...
Don't know how to make me feel better...   I think I need a fart   . 
And Pooky; if you advertise one more of those baileys or wine-tasting session for me, I might just explode


----------



## Pookychops

Oh curly! Fab news     

Hanna fab news also that you have no news  

I've been craving wine all day but will have to have a.Bailey's to celebrate. I can't do a bottle of champagne alone...


----------



## Honor77

What a good news day!! 2 mini Curlys & no phone calls for Hanna! Is ET tomorrow then, or TBC? 

Thank you Buds for my positive moment of the day today 

xxx

P.S. Hope you got your wine, Pooky


----------



## Hannushka

Me-post.... All went pear shaped here. Belly pains got worse and went to a&e at 5am this morning... Have a serious infection of the ovaries and womb so needless to say, transfer got cancelled. One embryo of quality 4, 5 cells was frozen and another was a rubbish one so was thrown away... In the hospital now at least until monday,possibly longer.. Got serious antibiotics and painkillers going to my veins... And im revolted by some awful looking... Fish balls that are covered with some goooey white stuff that is full of dill!!! I HATE DILL!! F*** my life. Sorry...


----------



## Honor77

Oh Hanna, what a nightmare  Firstly tho I'd say to try & rest, relax and get better, and smile that at what seemed against all odds, thanks to your negligent clinic , you have a lovely little embie waiting for you once you're all better . 1 out of 2 is great going and I could quote youa number of cases where frozen transfers have resulted in a baby. I can understand tho that that may all be little comfort from where you're lying... Please tho try to rest save in the knowledge that your embie is there and safe and concentrate on getting yourself back to good health and making your body a lovely little home for it. Secondly tho, I'd say this doesn't look good for your clinic . I'm by no means an medical expert, but how exactly would you get an infection of your ovaries and womb unless someone went in there to, er... let's say collect some eggs?? After alltthey put you through messing up your treatment plan, this must be the icing on the cake. I don't know how bothered you could be, once you're back on your feet, but I'd be inclined to pursue them for damages, & to consider looking at other clinics for transfer. Wish I lived closer to come & visit you & try & cheer you up. Do look after yourself tho & know we're all thinking about you 

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Honor: i know... You are right, however, with endometriosis in ovaries there is always a chance of infection which is why in all my tx's ive been given extra doses of antibiotics. Other option couldve been hysteroscopy but with my failing old ovaries wasnt recommended a


----------



## Hannushka

Oops... 
As it may affect them in negative way... Of course i, AND my doctor is now pursuing a case against the young doc who didnt read my papers and assumed me to b on another protocol but this infection is just bad luck, nobodys fault. I put enormous trust towards my main doc. She has gone and done loads of stuff not normally done and has not charged for it and she promised she will continue to be the consultant doc throughout my stay here... Im extremely unlucky sod but am sure they will do their utmost from now on


----------



## Carey

Hanna - Im so sorry to read your post. Such a horrible outcome. Fab news on the one frostie though.. good grading. I really hope you feel better soon and can get out of hospital asap. Rest up hun, sending you a big   xxxx

Curly - Fab new on 2 HB's   xx

Honor - Oliver is great thank you, they grow up so quickly... dont they.. he will be 2 at the end of the month. xx

Pooky - Are you cracking open the champagne tonight?   xx

Twinklie - Any news as yet? hope all is ok xx

AFM - Trying to prepare my mind & body for my first injection tomorrow evening....  seems a little mad to think in 8 weeks time i will know the outcome.... Positive thinking all the way  

 Happy Valentimes Day to all you lovely ladies  

Have a lovely weekend xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Oh Hanna - that is total and utter bum hat news! I'm so sorry that this is happened to you. Things were supposed to be splendid after the last post. I hope that the pain isn't too bad and that they can give you something to help. Grr I just want to shout at them for you! 

Do you need me to arrange a food delivery - some cheesecake perhaps? 

Carey - good luck with the injections. I only took tablets on my FET I think. It was all so long ago now. No champagne tonight, just red wine. Anyone reading my last few posts will think I'm an alcoholic! 

Curly - how did dh take it? We should meet after work one night if you can. You're not too far away. I'm based at kings cross these days.

Happy valentines day to you all xxxx


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna - so sorry to hear your news, you're really not having much luck.   Hope something good comes out of this despite everything.   

Carey - good luck! 8 weeks is no time at all!

Curly - massive congratulations, that's fantastic!

 everyone else 

No news here, just waiting... We're both starting to think it won't happen at all, my bump will just gradually become smaller and things will get back to normal. Yes, we're weird.   I've been told I'll be induced in a week's time if nothing's happened.


----------



## Big hat

Hey ladies,

Hanna - so sorry to hear it all has ended in drama.  Trying to look for positives, I think your main doctor sounds like they are going to get you to where you want to be.  Is there a chance they are now going to give you the next treatment free?  Does this mean you will be able to keep super embryo from this treatment and see if you can add to it next time?  I do hope so.  Completely keeping everything crossed for you! xxxxx

Twinklie - oo, another week.  Poor you.  I hope baby decides to come into the world at a time of their choosing (just this week, not next). xx

Pooky - happy belated valentines to you to!  I am so jealous of the talk of wine and baileys!  Meeting up one night would be really lovely - let's do it! x  

Carey - oo, injections - hope they are going ok.  There are times, when I look at my box of needles I must admit I do slump a bit about just how much longer I will be on these injections. x

Honor - I do love your positivity. xxx

72' - well done for getting to the next milestone.  Sorry about your bad back  . xx

So, DH took it well.  He did say, a couple of days later, that it seems surreal in that it seems so simple this time.  That was until big old bleed this morning (which obviously required him to be summoned out of bed at 6 am to see blood and urgh).  I was convinced we had lost one, but our clinic thinks 2 strong heartbeats, and they were just having a clear out.  Pooky, your reminder that you had this for 15 weeks has helped, but I do have complete admiration for your strength of character and stamina - it's so emotionally draining - this rollercoaster.  Ladies, you never warned me I've got another 6-7 months of waiting on tenterhooks!

Anyway, sleep calls.

Nit nit me lovelies.

Curly
xx


----------



## 1972

OMG I'm so behind!!!! 

Hanna- so sorry to hear of the ups and downs  you've been thru!!! You comment about full did make me lol!!! I hope you are feeling much better soon and have that frozen one on board . Xxx

Curly - I knew it!!!! Sooooooo excited for you. There is something in in the air for sure. I had hideous bleeding at 7 weeks, it was running down my legs TMI sorry, but mini wiz was all good. They put mine down to losing the twin so it could well be the third one. Try not to worry. I had more bleeding at 13 and 16 weeks, first time no obvious cause, 2nd one diagnosed with low lying placenta. It's so hard not to worry but try and enjoy this time. I wish I had more. Congrats again on your fab news. Xxx

Twinklie- how are you?

Carey - how are you?

Honor- life seems to be on the up for you xxx

Hope you are all good. I'm 24 weeks now. Another sigh of relief. Am now suffering with really bad backs. Making me feel down and v painful but one of those things. 

Catch up soon xxxxx


----------



## 1972

Hanna- that should say comment about DILL!


----------



## Honor77

Hi *Buds *,

*Hanna:* How are you doing? Are you still in hospital or back home? Hope you're feeling better and being well looked after all round. Great news that you have such a fab dr on board who I'm sure will help you safely and successfully navigate the path to your FET and beyond , and have your back when it comes to dealing with your clinic .

*Carey:* How's it going with you ? Bet it all feels very surreal. What kind of timeline do you have for this cycle? Sending you lots of love and luck .
Isn't Oliver's birthday coming up soon? 2 years old ?! How did that happen?! Little Miss M  will be 18 mths next month... unbelievable!

*1972:* Great to hear from you, and glad all going well , barr the backache... I was extremely lucky and had a very easy pregnancy, but for many it is a real struggle you somehow don't ever really think about all that time when you're ttc. And I think having to go through all that the ladies on here go through to get there doesn't help when things are difficult physically - makes it all the harder emotionally too. But: You're doing SO well, and 24 weeks is a real ! Take care .
P.S. Do you still see anything of, erm... forgotten her name  You know who I mean... 

*Curly:* Sorry to hear you've had a difficult time with bleeds . Unfortunately, "it happens"... so, so scary and stressful though, but not at all uncommon, and as long as your LOs are safe and sound . Do you have any other scans planned now before your 12-week scan? I'm guessing you'll get extra ones because it's twins ? You and DH must be SO delighted (*I know _I'M_ still all teary when I think of your fantastic news!*). I've only ever heard positive things about having twins - you're going to have a blast !

*Pooky:* Any alcohol left in the house ?! Maybe not such a good advertisement for twin motherhood ?! *I can though first-hand vouch for the fact that Pooky's twins are incredibly cute and Pooky very much in calm control!*
Well jel of you and Curly planning to meet up! I've no idea when I'm next down south, but it'll be at some point this year for sure, and I'll definitely let you all know and hopefully we can arrange a meet-up .

*Twinklie*: Awaiting news... 

*AFM:* Twiddling fingers at work, annoying coz took early lunch to go and see Little Miss M as a princess  at a "Knights and Princesses" party in town, which I cut short to come back to _work_... _F O R N O T H I N G_ . Otherwise all good .

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Honor77

P.S. *Curly*: Loving the new ticker  !! - *1972*: You need 1 too!!

xxx


----------



## Twinklie

Hanna - everything OK?

Curly - sorry to hear about the bleeding, it's so worrying! Here's hoping the weeks will rush by and you'll soon have your precious babies in your arms. 

Carey - any news?

Hi Honor, 1972, Pooky and the rest of you (including lurkers...  )

No news from me, I'm afraid. But it's not so bad, I managed to time my waiting around at home with the winter olympics and Sweden are having a good year.   Baby is very active so I'm not so worried, and physically it's not too bad. Just a few days left now at the most! When I was pregnant with H you could go up to 3(!) weeks after your due date if everything looked OK. Thankfully they've changed it since then so you can choose to be induced after two weeks.


----------



## Carey

Afternoon my lovely cheese cake  Gang  

Curly - Sorry to hear about your bleed but great news 2 lovely HB's can still be detected   Hay you lots of positive thinking.... you will need no more needles now you have your two precious cargo on board       xxx

1972 - I'm good thanks. Sorry to hear you are suffering from a bad back, i did too.. it really isn't nice. You need to invest in a Dreamgeni pillow   xxx

Honor - Yeah all is OK at the mo thanks, time line for this cycle will be about 5.5 weeks from start to ET... Then the dreaded two week wait added onto that... Yes Oliver will be two next Thursday   just keeping my mind busy sorting his party out, only as small one but still a few bits to sort. Cant believe little miss M will be 18th mths, just goes so quickly. Bet she looked super cute in her princess dress   xxx

Twinklie - I'm OK thx. Your still waiting then..... Hopefully baby will come before you need to be induced   Good luck xxx

Hanna - How are you Hun? Are you home resting now or still in the hospital? Really hope you can start again soon and you get it free too xxx

Pooky - Hope you OK, enjoy your catch up with Curly. Next time your my way give me a shout   xxx

AFM - so day 6 of injections..... all going OK, i have one bruise. not sure what my husband is doing but whenever he gives it in my right side it bloody hurts!!! but still I'm no good at doing them myself so just have to out up with it   I start to feel very tired towards late afternoon but that seems to be the only side effect so far.

Love to you all xx xx


----------



## Hannushka

*Carey:* Any updates? I don't think I could ever let my hubby to do my injections, in fact he runs a mile when I pull out the needles 
*Curly*: How happy I am for the 2 heartbeats, I can not describe, shame that naughty bleed has to create stress on your happy times though. Take it easy honey!! I'm afraid I have to use the frozen embie first b4 I get the free tx... xx
*1972* : Hope back isn't too bad, and how very dare you laugh at my awful food experiences  It didn't get much better, and in the end my hubby brought me dinners, and I only ate the desserts they offered 
*Twinklie* Glad you are doing well... Shame, you lost the hockey final against Canada...   though it doesn't feel so bad now to have lost against you guys... especially when your key player had some 'extra energy' accidentally given to him... See our team is purely organic  Sorry, couldn't help it  
*Honor* 
afm. So, I stayed in the hospital until tuesday, as the blood tests kept fluctuating and I got temperature 3 nights in a row. Been home since, on a sick leave, going back to work tomorrow. On my way to have a blood test now and then I have a scan tomorrow to check if the swelling has stopped... Weirdly my af came few days ago, only had 20d cycle, so maybe it is a blessing in disguise that they didn't do the transfer on that cycle... hmm... 
Gotta go xx


----------



## Carey

Hi ladies

All very quiet on here..

Hanna - how r u feeling now hun? Hope the scan went ok & ur body is feeling better. I know its only been a few days but have u thought about next cycle? Xx

Twinkle -  Any news as yet? Hope ur ok xx

curly - hope everythingis well with u xx

1972 - how r u feeling with ur back? Xx

Hello to  Pooky and Honor    Xx

AFM - Oliver turned two on Thursday, he had a lovely day. Growing up too quickly.
Im still injecting, i have my baseline scan on Wed. Im completely shattered tho been over doing it i think... 

Xx


----------



## Pookychops

Good luck with your scan tomorrow Carey! 

Curly how are you getting on?.How far along are you? Shall we meet up in April? I'm stupidly busy at work at the moment so March is not a good idea.

Hanna have you recovered? I hope you're ok? How are you getting on with farm? Thanks for sending me lives through


----------



## Twinklie

Hi everyone! Sorry for the late update, baby was finally born on 24 Feb after induction. All went well, very quick once it got going. He's a cutie, looks a lot like his brother!


Looking forward to some more good news on here soon!


----------



## Carey

Morning ladies,

How is everyone?

A BIG congratulations to Twinklie on the birth of your baby boy   Hope you are all doing well xxx

Hanna - How are you feeling now? Is work going ok after going back? xx

Pooky - Thanks, Scan went well. Hope you are all ok? xx

Curly - How are you? Have you got your 12 wk scan coming up? xx

Honor - How is everything with you & little miss M? xx

1972 - Hows your back now? Are you about 28 Wks now.... Not long left xx

AFM - Ive got another scan on Monday to see if linning is thick enough for ET the following week. Seems to be coming around really quickly.

Have a lovely weekend ladies xxxxx


----------



## 1972

Congrats twinklie!!! Born on my birthday ;-) a good day !!! What's his name? How are you doing now?? 

Almost there carey... Everything crossed for collection xxxxxx

Any news curly?? 

Hi to everyone else. How are you?? I'm 28 weeks this weekend. Bump getting big. Due to placenta and huge fibroid location, baby is high up and laying transverse across my tum under boobs so measuring more like 32 weeks. Wiggling about loads. Am looking at section at 38 weeks hopefully. There's no way she can engage or get out otherwise. Had a crap consultant appt this week. Waste of time. They won't make any decisions so I've made it for myself! For my age they said they wouldn't go over 39 weeks , I don't want to risk early labour as would much rather prevent an emergency situation and it all go to plan. Leaving work at 33 weeks as frankly had enough. Need time to rest and des tress.. 

Xxx


----------



## Carey

Hiya ladies

How are u all? Really quiet on here...

Just thought i wld let u know i am now PUPO had ET at 4.15pm today. It went ok. Got to test around the 8/9th April. The two defrosted but one was better than the other so we had the best one put back. Fingers crossed xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations Carey on being pupo. I've got everything crossed for you xxx

Congratulations also to Twinklie. I hope you are all settling into life as a family of four

Curly how are you? Have you reached 12 weeks yet?

Honor I haven't had a chance to look at video yet. Work is horribly busy at the moment and no change to do much else.....

Take care everyone xxx


----------



## ma-me28

wow just had to catch up quite a bit have missed lots since I was last on.
just a quick hello will do proper catch up soon.x 
big hugs to everyone.x


----------



## Pookychops

Carey, how are you? Have you tested?


----------



## Big hat

Hello me lovelies, 

So sorry for the nausea and exhaustion riddled absence.

Carey - any news? Have got fingers-crossed for you. xx

Twinklie - enormous congratulations to you.  Hope you're having a wonderful time getting to know your little one. xx

1972 - gosh, it's all so close now - not long till you meet your little one!  How exciting!!!! xx

Hanna - how are things?  Any news on the next tx yet. x

Pooky - would love to meet up soon - when work allows you some time for a life. x

Hi ma-me and anyone else who may be having a peek. x

afm: both curlywees are doing well, and are about 14.5 weeks now (so about 8cm each  ).  We've had an eventful ride so far - a few trips to A&E, once with a suspected miscarriage,  the 2nd with the fact that the bubs blocked off my ability to 'function' - nice stay in hospital for 2 days with the doctors seeming to be playing 'you put the catheter in, you take the catheter out, in, out, in, out.....'.  All the while, the two little jokers could be observed wriggling about completely unaffected by the fuss.  I suppose it took away the decision of how to tell work!  Talking of work, I don't think they have quite grasped that I am having babies - they seem determined to keep me busy managing several programmes right up until the birth  .  Not sure I'll be up for that, especially if the current effects on my energy, appetite and 'showing' are anything to go by........ mind you, it's all worth it.

big hugs all

xxxx


----------



## Carey

Hi ladies,

So pleased to share my news I got a  This morning.
We are so lucky to be given this chance again.
Ive waited for the clinic to call me back all day but nothing so will hopefully call tomorrow to arrange scan date.

Pooky - thanks for thinking of me, hope ur all ok? Xx

Curly - lovely to hear from u, wow time goes too quickly, 14.5 wks already. Sorry to hear its been abit tough lately, little monkeys playing u up already. Hope ur feeling better now xx

Mame - hiya, good to see u've dropped by xxx

Big hello and hugs to everyone else xxxx


----------



## ma-me28

congrats on your news carey how exciting.x


----------



## Honor77

Hello *Buds*!

So, so sorry for lack of contact recently . I don't know where the time goes, and I do regularly pop on to check posts and think I'll post "later" and then don't get round to it... I'm aware I've now "missed" some news that I really ought to have commented on by now - sorry .

*Carey*: Fantastic news . You must be in that amazed-delighted-anxious fuzz! Hope you've managed to speak to your clinic.

*Curly*: Wow! What a journey you're continuing to have ! I'm glad that everything is fine and dandy with your curlywees (your naming, not mine ) and hope that now you're in the 2nd trimester, they'll settle down a bit and give you less grief!

*1972*: Glad all well with you too . You can't be far off finishing work now? Your plans sound sensible to me - start as you mean to go and trust your body, your instinct and your own power to make decisions! Am sure you're surrounded by "experts" on child birth, as you will undoubtedly also be by "experts" on child rearing  Now is definitely the time to take control!

*Twinkilie* HUGE apologies for my delayed  ! Hope it's all going well and you're settling into your new life as 4.

*ma-me*: Hey there ! How are you? What's going on with you at the moment?

*Pooky*: And hello to you too ! Hope you and the Pookettes are well! The only plans we currently have to be down south are either side of a family hol. to France beginning of Sept., and it's doubtful there'd be time to meet up then but I'll definitely let you know if that changes!

*Hanna*: Long time, no hear... Hope all's well with you ? Any news?

*AFM*: All good here . Just looking forward impatiently to the warmer weather and some sun!

Love to all, especially any lurkers or anyone I've missed out ,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Hey girls

Fab news Carey - really pleased for you. Have you got your scan booked? Xxx

Curly - pesky mini curlys! Hope you are feeling bit better now. My first and half second trimester were quite fraught but since 17 weeks all has been ok ( apart from extreme pregnancy niggles but nowt I can do about those!! ) it kind of gets easier then gets harder again! I think it's age. You'll not get rid of the exhaustion. Just rest rest rest when you can. I'm so excited for you. 

Honor- good to hear from you. Are you still with your parents? How's work etc? X

Pooky- your ******** tales of the twins do make me laugh ;-) x

Hi to mame, Hanna and anyone else. X

I'm 32 weeks now. Consultant this week to agree dates! I'm excited but also starting to panic. Likely 6 weeks until I have her !!!!!! I'm feeling ok ish... Back pain gone, bump is a proper bump now and I'm waddling. I've put on very little weight which I'm pleased about as I could have been a 4 stoner with my love of food. Last weigh in was only 1kg!! Lost a lot of body fat.. I have visions if leaving hospital like a celeb then remember I'm not going to the Portland lol!!! Finish work in 2 weeks. Can't wait. 

Love to you all. Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Congratulations Carey! When is your first scan?

Curly , eek, how scary for you. I hope everything is starting to settle down now.

Can't type much. I've strained a muscle in my back and typing still hurts

Love to you all xxxx


----------



## Carey

Hi ladies,

So since my last post a wk ago.. I started to bleed, its stopped now but still getting the odd cramp. My clinic wouldn't see me just told me to carry on as normal and attend my scan next Friday 25th. My local hospital wouldn't see me either. I know ladies can bleed and all be ok.
Im feeling pretty low at the mo, just not got a good feeling about it. Having to wait another week for my scan is crazy. trying not to dwell on things to much and remember we have our first little miracle. 

Have a Lovely easter xxxxxxx


----------



## 1972

Oh no Carey, you must be stressing. Try not to. Have you done more tests, are they ok? Could you have private scan to put your mind at rest? Fingers crossed for you that alls ok. As you know bleeding is so common. Hang in there and I have everything crossed for your scan xxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Carey poor you, you must be going through a horrible time at the moment. It's all so horribly stressful. Have you done any more pregnancy tests? Hang on in there. You never knew what the scan may show next week.

Big hugs xxxx


----------



## Carey

Morning Buds

How r u all? Gone very quiet on here xx

Thanks Pooky & 1972... Ive got my scan tomorrow, dreading it if im honest, im still off work just taking it easy. Praying we see that little flicker on the screen tomorrow.

Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

How did you get on Carey? I've been thinking of you xxx


----------



## Carey

My scan today showed Im having a misscarige. We had to spend some time with the consultant, we were there 2.5 hrs. All i wanted to do was get home knowing we had a 1.5 hr car journey too. We are guttered this has happened, and are not sure where to go from here. Yes we know how lucky we are to have our first little miracle but it still doesnt make the pain of losing this baby any easier.  Xx


----------



## 1972

Oh no Carey, I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be hard news to hear and now the inevitable wait. Sending you big hugs xx


----------



## ma-me28

carey so sorry to hear your news hun, sending you massive hugs.x


----------



## Pookychops

So sorry to hear that Carey. Sending you a huge hug. It doesn't matter how many children you have or don't have a miscarriage still hurts like Hell. Be kind to yourself xxx


----------



## Big hat

Carey - that's such sad news.  I'm so sorry. xxxx


----------



## Honor77

So sorry to read your sad news, *Carey* . It doesn't matter how many children you have or don't have, it's still a devastating loss. Take good care of yourself .

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey ladies,
Been a while again, and am sorry to see your news Carey... It makes no difference whether you already have a child, it still hurts like nothing else   Wishing you strength on this hard time xx
Nothing special has been going on here, was on the pill for 9 weeks and just finishing af, scan on tuesday and then comes the dreadful wait to see if my little frostie will survive the thaw to have natural fet in about a week and a half, I think. I had the endometrial scratch again last week and again it hurt so much. They say the entrance to my womb is so tiny, they have to pinch it with something when they do the scrach and that is why it hurts so much. 
If all goes pearshaped as usual, we are then going forward with the donor egg on my last attempt onthe public health route... We decided it just gives us a better chance on ever becoming parents. I'm running out of hope now with my own eggs... I have been rather calm now but I'm sure the stress and panic will kick in any minute now...
Been having a lot of problems with my back and going to see physiotherapist tomorrow. Had an x-ray on my back and there was nothing alarming, just the usual wear out that apparently everyone gets and my scoliosis was apparent, but that I've known since I was a child... Next step there would then be an osteopath, who my collegue said has helped her with her problems... We'll see..
Hope you are all well xx


----------



## Carey

Thanks for all your thoughts and   Still feeling pretty low, taking every day as it comes. Spending lots of time making happy memories and planning lots of fun things in the next few months.... xx

Hanna - Want to wish you lots of luck for ET next week xxx

Hope everyone else is ok? xxx


----------



## 1972

Any frostie news Hanna? X


----------



## Hannushka

Hey 1972... still peeing on sticks and waiting for a smiley face... should have ET maybe wednesday if it smiles, ever... I thought it should've smiled today...
Anyway, anyone for a eurovision chat 
Fittingly the song on now is called cheesecake :O


----------



## Hannushka

In case yes, I'm in chat now, u shall find me there..


----------



## 1972

Here's praying for the smiling face ASAP ))))))))))))

I don't do Eurovision I'm afraid! Hope you enjoyed x


----------



## Hannushka

Evening all...
Just a quick update... Today started with a big   ... So here's to hoping the little embie will survive the thaw... if so, the transfer is on thursday...
Much love to you all xxxxxxxxxx
p.s Managed to have a hilarious eurovision-chat on ** instead with old friends from U.K


----------



## Hannushka

And another update.. it didn't survive   . So tomorrow I'm calling the clinic to start proceedings for donor-egg tx... Yes, my eyes watered for a bit, just a little, but what does it help? It doesn't, so I made myself a huge fatty pizza instead.  
Hope you are all well
xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Hanna,

So sorry I didn't post earlier to wish you luck with the big thaw, and even sorrier it wasn't good news on that front . Was away for a few days but been struck down with the lurgy... It must have been a horrible anxious wait for you and a blow when you got the news, although I know you were well aware it could be so. It's great you have a plan of what to do next, and I really hope that this is the missing piece for you. In the meantime, you're quite right to indulge yourself, so enjoy that pizza!

Take care,

xxx


----------



## 1972

Sorry to hear about your frozen embie Hanna. I think you're a brace girl to keep going and review other options. Good for you. You'll get there. I can feel it )))))))


----------



## Hannushka

Hey friendies,
Hope everyone is good...
Honor-Thanks honey... Strangely, the waiting wasn't really stressing me, neither did the news... almost like it didn't happen or wasn't supposed to happen... My hubby was the same, he said he was almost relieved as he also knew it wasn't good quality and was afraid that it wouldn't be a good idea to put in a bad quality frostie... fearing the child would not be as healthy as a 'fresh' one.. if you know what I mean?
1972- Yeah, I think I've grown a thick skin now, when I let myself break last time and opened my heart to people (friends), it ended up in a disaster so finally, FINALLY I'm listening to hubby and keeping it between us (and you guys   ) and I'm coping so much better... 
afm. So, the ball is rolling, however... loong wait... first appt 30.6 at the private clinic. Queue for tx is a year UNLESS I find my own donor... which I did. Though she will be donating to their 'bank' and I'll be using someone elses egg... I just don't think I could bare the thought that I'd be giving birth to my sister's and my dh's baby... Sounds way too 'The Bold and The Beautiful' however... that way the baby would have genes from my side of the family... and possibly brown eyes... In here you can't choose that kinda stuff as there is a massive shortage on egg donors... A lot of thinking to do still... my hubby still not sure if he feels comfortable making my sis go through with the needles and stuff..
Anyways, gotta go...
Much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pookychops

Hi hanna,

Sorry it didn't work out for you with the FET. I hated FET as I didn't like the wait for the news on the thaw. Sorry that I've not checked in lately. I often read and think I'll respond later but later never happens....

I sadly missed Eurovision. I love it and hubby hates it and I love making him watch it...

So is your sister donating eggs so that you can then get eggs? That's very nice of her. My friends little girl is from a donor egg. She says she always finds it weird when people say that she looks like her as she can't possibly. However, she is a lot like her as she has picked up her mannerisms and expressions and so that makes her like her. Does that make sense? 

Sending you a huge hug xxxx

1972 - not long now. Eek! Don't worry. In the beginning each time she cries check her nappy and then feed her. That generally works....I remember being left alone at 5am with the twins in the ward and my first thought was I don't know what to do with one baby let alone two! You'll be fine.

Hi to everyone else. Much love to you all xxx


----------



## Big hat

Hello my lovelies,

Hannah, so sorry to hear about your little frostie, but I totally admire your move forward, and 30.6 isn't that far away now. Your sister's offer is so wonderful, and I think it will be once you have your bfp that your DH will truly understand why she offered- why she wanted to help you get onto the next part of this journey. Xxx

1972- am looking forward to seeing images of your little one. The big day seems to be rapidly approaching now!

Carey - if you're looking in, hope you're ok.

Honor - hello my dear. Hope all is well with you and your little one. Xx

Pooky - hope all's good with you. It would be lovely to meet up, and now that I've moved from 24 hour nausea to just random vomiting it does mean I am able to socialise more. Maybe we can organise via **. 

Afm: had a wonderful holiday. I think DH really benefitted from also living with the bubs for 24/7, as he got to understand more about the toll they can take. I now have a 'domestic god' and all sorts has begun to happen in preparation for their arrival. Our 20 week scan went well- no sign of anomalies. One of the lovely things has been the response from friends, family and colleagues - very positive and warm. 

Take care all.

Xxx


----------



## Pookychops

Curly - do you know what you're having?


----------



## Hannushka

Hey all,
hope all is good with you all.
1972: your baby is sooooo gorgeous! Hope you are well
Curly: Neews please!  
afm.  I'm trying to get my man off the game as I got another smiley face today and thought...'well, miracles happen... natural bfp is not impossible, but he's not moving 
Tomorrow is my nieces 3rd birthday and I've been baking cakes and cupcakes all day... Can't wait to get to eat them... yep, there is a cheese-filling on one of them 
Otherwise having a hard time... heard some utterly utterly terrible news about a woman I know and am finding it very hard to deal with it as the whole town is silent, and in an utter shock... and all I want is to be able to understand...something...anything... I'm not going into details as it is too sickening but some of you may have read it in the news a few days back... Haven't slept well in few days as it just goes around my head, first, I was angry, thought 'I always new she was weird and stupid' (only 'cause we fought over a same man years ago and she got a bit desperate so in the end I went to her and said 'take him, I'm really not that desperate for him' though he still wouldnt have her), then it went to horror as I knew there are several men I know looking at their diaries back to see if they might be involved... now, my thoughts are in her, what in the world has happened to her or traumatised her for her to act this way...?  I tried talking to dh but he is so disgusted he doesn't want to hear any more about it... neither do you, I'm sure... but I just had to get it out, even just a bit... In all the disgustment, I feel utterly sorry for her, she must've been in a very bad place...and in a real need of professional help for such along time... How on earth no-one saw it? It baffles me... I am sorry for rambling, just had to put this put there to gather my own feelings... hope it doesn't upset any of you... I need wine


----------



## Big hat

Hi all,

1972 - agree with Hannah - utterly in love with your little one. She is so cute. Well done you . Xx

Pooky - we don't know what they are . We'd already decided not to. We've had so many scans because if what's gone on we just think let them have a bit of privacy to just get on and grow. You're 2 are such little characters, and so cute, you're giving me hope and reassurance that there will be light at the end of a long, military precisioned newborn feeding and cleaning tunnel. Xx

Hanna - it all sounds like something gruesome has happened - HIV? Or worse. Apart from that - smiley face? I really hope it happens me lovely. Fingers and toes crossed for you. Xx

Hope everyone else is ok. Honor - how are you me lovely?

Afm: a friend sent me this link http://www.naturebaby.com/uk/essentials-i-42.html - have seriously fallen in love with some of the clothes on here. I just have to hope the Little 'uns have the skin colouring for them . So far all good. They seem healthy and a real pair of wrigglers. I like them as individuals already. A friend of mine, who I'm sure I must have occasionally ranted about her competitiveness turns out to be 10 weeks behind me. Bizarrely, it's brought us close again. We're sharing a really special time (although the profits of the Southern Hemisphere wine industry are taking a pounding.....). The only downside for all of this is, after only having nausea for 5 months I've now developed some kind if motion sickness and early morning vomits wtf? I'm told it's a good sign. I'm not sure about that.  

Curly

Xxx

/links


----------



## 1972

Hi ladies. 

Well as some of you have seen, she's here! Evie was norm on Monday via planned section. It was a very traumatic procedure ( but we need high chance in advance). Was in theatre 3 hours + and v poorly after. Lost 3 pints blood and now anaemic. 

But it's overwhelming how amazing the feeling is to have her. I still can't believe it!!!!! 

I'm getting better day by day. Shattered, skin is grey! The tiredness is indescribable. But the love for the little lady gets me through! 

Hanna- I've not seen anything but been bit occupied! Sorry to hear things are affecting you so badly. Keep us posted with your progress. Good your getting smiley faces. Get hubby off his bum for some loving!!!! 

Curly- sorry your still feeling sicky etc. Pregnancy is so tough on the old body but as I've seen this week, the body is also amazing at sorting itself out. I hope your tougher preg means an easier time post. 

Hi to everyone else, hope you're ok xx


----------



## Hannushka

Curly: Sounds so exciting...(not you feeling nauseous though) am sooo happy for your ickle wriggles...  and no, not h.i.v... I honestly think this is worse... at least people can live a full life with h.i.v these days... These were given no chance of living... http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-27702073  .. I do know that her first child was apparently a big suprise, she claimed not to have known and almost gave birth to her mums toilet bowl...(I keep thinking it was pure luck she wasn't home alone this time, so the boy is alive) but 5 more times? and delivering the babies alone, in her home, with no help? Sounds impossible... But like I said, I could possibly point the fathers out with my finger... These are good men, married with family men these days, and when it all comes out in the open... 'cause it will... their lives are also going to be broken forever... At the same time, they must be reflecting back how they treated her, a desperate for love girl, and took turns to use her for their own pleasure... that is how I saw her anyway, a bit 'easy'... phew... this is not the place for this really, sorry... just so very sad...  However, going now to finish off the cakes for the b'day, hopefully gives me something else to think...
Take care you all xx

/links


----------



## Honor77

Congratulations, 1972! Lovely name! Glad she's here safe & sound, & it'll get easier for you too - I too lost a lot of blood during birth & was ill afterwards. Can't see any pics coz am not on ** but do send me some via PM if you can/whenever you get a minute! 

Sounds horrific Hanna - willl check out link. Hope your niece's birthday takes your mind off things, & have a cupcake for me... am on a diet...

Curly: Fab news all going well with ur little ones! Hope the extra sicknes is just a phase that'll pass soon.

Am on my phone so will just send out a quick hug to all!

xxx


----------



## Gladys07

1972 congrats xxxx Curly I am
so happy for you. I just popped up wondering if there were any cheesecakes still chatting and stumble across such lovely news. 

Love to you all xxxx


----------



## Honor77

Hi Buds! 

How are you all? We seem to have drifted off the thread recently but I hope everyone is well. Any news?! None here really..!

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## bell26

Hi everyone ! 

My goodness it's been such a long time ! My little girl is just amazing and she is worth every jab, blood test, vage scans, ohss the lot ! She honestly is our whole world. 

Congrats to all the babies that have been born ! Can anyone give me a kind of round up of what's been happening with everyone's journey's as I can't possibly read so far back. I always hoped that all of us would get lucky, I hope that day will come.

Lots of Love to you all. We are back to Berlin for FET in spring 2015. If it doesn't work I am at peace with that but if it does that would be the biggest most amazing thing ever. We have 11 on ice. I would never do anymore fresh cycles, after losing three babies I remember praying to god through puffy eyes and a broken heart that I just wanted one healthy baby. I got her and I thank god every day for her, I never take for granted how lucky we are.

I didn't come out of the journey in one piece however, I got this awful fear of taking G out on her own as I was certain some one would snatch her. Completely irrational I know but it worked out that I had post traumatic stress disorder from all the tx and miscarriages. I am seeing a fantastic psychologist and she has changed my life, some days are harder than others, I just want to keep her protected within the "fort" sometimes.

Anyway, sending you all an abundance of love. I wish I knew how to put a pic on here !
Bell xxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Hello my lovelies,

Bell, so good to see your post, and a fantastic reminder to value every minute of our little miracles. Good luck for next year.

I'm sorry ladies for not posting much over the past months. The pregnancy took it's toll physically so I was too exhausted at the end of each day to do much of anything.  I just thought I should let you know that our two    Were born at the end of August at 34.5 weeks. After a bit of a shaky start ( weight loss, jaundice, body temperature maintenance issues) we are 6.5 weeks in. They are thriving, and changing every day. 

To those of you still trying, I wish you all the luck and will keep hoping your dream comes true.

Xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there all,
It seems awful quiet here. Just saw some news on ** and thought of you guys...
Then as I was trying to sign in, it hit me, been away so long, I couldn't remember my password  . 
I suppose most of yous are very busy baby-mama's these days, so I'll forgive you the absence, as I do for the ones who are just taking a break from all baby-related...including this thread. Understandable... Been there too, many times 
I'm waiting for donor tx at the moment, hopefully jan-feb if everything goes to plan... Also getting a fur baby some time nxt year, a Finnish Lapphound. You have GOT TO google them. My heart melts just seeing pictures of them  I've been in talks with a good kennel, and they have chosen the 'would-be-mommy-and-daddy' for my baby, so no, it's not even a bean yet, and God Almighty if that fails too, I must be cursed  .
Oh, the news... I'll give *LYNN* a chance to spread the news  If she's not around in a while, I'll tell ya  . But it is a very very very good news for her...in two... ssshhh. must stay quiet


----------



## 1972

Hey ladies!

Life is indeed very hectic Hanna. Not an intentional absense just forget as the mind is such a fog nowadays! I still think of you ladies. It was three years ago just gone we met for our London christmas dinner. How time flies. 

Exciting news Hanna, puppy and baby on way for you - everything crossed!!!!!

Is Lynn pregnant ?!?!! Such exciting news if she is!!! 

Lots of love ladies xxxx


----------



## Honor77

She might be, she might be  ! 

Hello everyone ! Hope you're all well, and think we ought to revive the thread a little!

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

lol! she is, she is with TWINS!!!  
That's all I'm gonna sayyy!


I am so excited about the dog. Just got a msg yesterday that the mum of my future dog is now good and ready for a shag and the daddy is gonna be ferried there as we speak  so am very happy and excited.. eek! Would be rather ironic if that wont work out either  (bad joke, but I'm still laughing) xx


----------



## Pookychops

Any news on the puppy yet Hanna?


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there everyone, just a quickie..
Pooky: Nothing confirmed yet. The owner said they got jiggy wid it, and that she has been behaving oddly as of late so it's now waiting game to see if her belly starts growing... eeeek! So excited!! Also, had my procren shot on the 17th o dec and starting with progynova on the 12th jan, so donor transfer  is on the cards veeeery soon  -but I keep my thoughts on the puppy now, otherwise it'll just be stress, tears and crazy moods... Already have had some seriously annoying side effects from procren, massive migrane last week and hot flushes daily. Seriously, I sweat like a pig in my sleep


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## DizziSquirrel

Please take a peek, Looking forward to a pm or 2 
CLICK HERE ​


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## Hannushka

so quiet here 
Well, I'll update anyhows, maybe this will reach at least some of you's 
So, puppy is most definitely coming!! Mummy-dog looking very round at 6 weeks  http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9HVMJUMJhYA/VMdXkp0TMKI/AAAAAAAAGxo/1KO4v-vx64c/s1600/vinha3.jpg EEEK!
Going for a visit at the kennel on sunday, just to get to know the owner and talk through stuff, maybe I get to cuddle the mommy-dog. She is sooo gorgeous, saw her in a dog show in october 

And then me... donor tx is here but of course, being me, it hasn't been without drama... Forgot to take 1 of my progynova pills last sunday (I'm on 3 a day) and of course I thought it was all doomed. I could FEEL the lining of my womb fall off and the periods coming. Phoned clinic and it was a nurse I didn't know and she was like 'it shouldn't be a problem' .. Hmm, SHOULDN't didn't quite do the trick. I couldn't sleep for 3 nights. Finally they agreed to scan me on wednesday and all was good, and my period symptoms disappeared immediately after verdict. It is amazing what tricks the mind can play with you . 
Well, my donor is having her egg retrieval on monday and dh going in to give his bit monday morning. I should know by mid day how many eggs she got and my transfer will be on wednesday. 
Right now I am feeling great, I think I want to take this progynova every day for the rest of my life. I even got my  drive back (sorry TMI, but honestly I have seriously thought I've become a frigid until now  ) . Well, that's all folks, I'll let you know when I know any news, I mean, dh is giving his sample on monday so I think today is the good time for... 
  
Much love xxx


----------



## 1972

Fab fab fab news Hanna!!!!! Keep us posted for monday. I have absolutely everything crossed for you. Xxxx


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## Honor77

I must have magically known something exciting and important was going on, as I haven't been on here for AGES yet at 4:56 a.m. when I can't sleep, I've logged inn and seen Hanna's news!  for good news for you on Monday, Hanna! 

Other cause of insomnia is I sign the lease on a house today!  Little Miss M & I are finally going to have a place of our own! We're not going far - just a few minutes away, so perfect location. I am though very nervous about the new all-through carpet and what this will look like in real life, as if the agency hadn't said they were planning on replacing the horrible old dark blue carpet, I wouldn't have wanted to rent the house coz it made it look dark and dingy. A peek through the window yesterday p.m. revealed a new carpet but what looks like cheapest possible dark brown carpet. Not impressed and fretting house will simply now look dark and dingy with a dark brown carpet, new grey sofa on order will look stupid on it & I'll end up regretting renting it. I should add the agent who originally showed us around said it'd probably be oat with a fleck, the same as they put in all their properties and I stressed to him and a couple of other people through the process that the house not only needed a new carpet to replace a very old one but a lighter one to brighten it up coz it was too dark! 

Well, middle of the night rant over! You'll start to think you're on the wrong site!

Everything else otherwise good, & I am very much looking forward to getting back some space and independence & creating a lovely new home for me & Little Miss M!

Hope everyone else is doing well. 

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hello there, and thank you ladies!
Honor: Good news about the flat, I'm sure it will be fine, the carpet... What colour are the walls? Gray will be fine on the brown carpet, just get a few lighter colour (ivory,yellow, even turqoise) cushions... or what ever colour scheme the walls are. If the walls are also dark, get a few simple light colour pictures/paintings on the wall and again match cushions with the same theme. Here's a few examples of the colour co-ordination.. http://www.studiosouth.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Gray-sofa-living-room.jpg Now imagine this picture with a dark brown floor and tables. No? What about this then: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRrgt-pVgNx25pqd_Z4GBeO0X64jayj4Q7OTXGdO0hlD5M0EkDcvg I know yours is a carpet, but same difference, maybe you can get like ivory rug to put underneath the livingroom table, and again-cushions-cushions-cushions! Zara, H&M home... It'll be gorgeous! (There is a little interior designer inside me  )
1972- Hope all is well with you guys too xx

I started with the lugesteron today, and yep, more drama was to come... Pharmacy had run out, she said with a smile on her face 'they have been ordered and will be here on thursday' THURSDAY?! Well, lucky there was another pharmacy, but I like to use the first one cause of their amazing bonus scheme and now I'm losing out . OK, my fault to buy them last minute.
So, I got the meds and this morning started reading the leaflet and it said to take them orally  . HUH? I've always put them down there... I kept reading and it said to take how the doctor told, well, guess fifteen times if the doc mentioned which hole it is to go? I mean, there are 3 choices here. So, the googling commenced, and after an hour or so, I decided to stick them in my vagina (tmi again  ). 
Tomorrow am I will call and ask shall I continue that way or what  I did read online that in ivf you take them vaginally, and to do with menopause, you take orally, so... what ever the case, it's going in 
Today we went to see the breeder of the Finnish Lapphunds and we met the mummy of my future puppy, AND also the grandmother  . We had a good old chat and I cuddled the round mummy dog for ages, she was sooooooo beautiful! I am now confused even more whether we should go for a male or female dog, both have their plusses and minuses really. She said she doesn't see much difference really in learning skills, males have more beautiful hair, females are just so... feminine... and gorgeous... HELP! 
Gotta go now, dh wants pop corn


----------



## Hannushka

PUPO-lady reporting here  .
Just a little update.. Had a TOP-quality embie (yep, they only put 1   ) put in on wednesday and the stress is already kicking in... Guess who's been googling symptoms?  
Well, my right ovary is giving me sharp pains occasionally but it could well be the cyst I have there. Doctor said these meds will keep the symptoms pretty much away and I won't even get a period if it fails. Not sure if it's a good or a bad thing. Usually it fails around the d9-10 after transfer to a bleed and now I shall be getting false hope because I will not get it..  
Well, google said my lining was rather ideal for the transfer, at 10,3mm so one good thing there... 
Right, no time for more, hope you guys are well,TA-DA, dears!


----------



## Carey

A long over due Hello to you all from me  

Curlyone - Congrats on your two special little ladies, hope all is going great? x

Honor - Really pleased to hear all is ok with you and Miss M, Hope the house move goes well x

Hanna - So much happening for you at the mo... Congrats on being PUPO   How are you feeling?  fingers crossed for you hun. Love the little dog, looks super soft and cuddly, Hope pup arrives safely x

1972 & Pooky A big hello to you both, hope you are well? xx

AFM - not a day goes by when i don't think about what life could have been like right now if i didn't have my miscarriage last year but my first little miracle Oliver will be turning 3 in 2 weeks time!! time is going so quickly. 

We are saving hard for a fresh cycle later in the year. I have also been on a diet for the past month as want to try and get my BMI down and have lost a stone in a month so super happy with that.... only another 2 stone to go before i will be happy i can try again and give it my all.

Lots of love to you all xxxxxxx


----------



## Big hat

So, like Honor I just suddenly got an urge to come online.

Hanna - I am so pleased for you PUPO lady! I will keep everything crossed for you over the next few days. Sending you lots of love, and fir your new puppy. Xx

Honor - fab news on getting your own place. Feel for you that they have put in the wrong carpet. Xxxx

Carey - fingers crossed for you my dear also. Keep us posted. Xxxx

Love to everyone else. 

Xxxxx


----------



## Big hat

Meant to say 1972 that your LO is gorgeous ! And growing so fast. Xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Good morning,
Hope you all had a lovely Valentine's day.
I was naughty yesterday and tested at 10dp2dt... Negative. Yeah,yeah, there is still a chance and so on, but I have no symptoms whatsoever now, feel perfect. Boobs flat and empty, not even period pains... and not stressed in the slightest. Hate to waste the expensive Lugesteron but I will continue until the blood test on tuesday...


----------



## 1972

Hi girls

Came on to check on Hanna.. When I was pregnant I had NO symptoms so please don't rule it out. I never tested early as was always too scared. That was with twins originally too so have everything crossed for you tomorrow. I do hope for good news. 

Curly - she's 8 1/2 months now. Time is absolutely flying! Your little ones are looking so big too now. Saw the pic the other say, spotted one of E's outfits I think ?!?! 

Carey- good luck with the weight loss. Keep going. Can't believe he's 3! Time is really flying. Then I remember my first round was nearly 4 years ago. Seems like yesterday!!

Hi to everyone. Xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey all,
Thanks for all the support again but it was a BFN for me yet again... 
Not sure where to go from here now, I mean we got 4 frosties but obviously my body is rejecting the embryos so I think I need autoimmune-protocol... Gonna ask the doc to do more tests,I suppose..


----------



## Carey

Hanna Really so to hear this news, sending you a huge hug   Stay strong xx


----------



## Big hat

Oh Hanna I'm so sorry. Am sending you a massive  . Definitely speak to your consultant about auto immune issues. Lots of love my darling. Xxx


----------



## 1972

So sorry to hear that Hanna. Don't give up. Would deffo get those tests, you've had such bad luck. Do they do simple things like get you to take baby aspirin? And I took high quality fish oil & vitimins throughout treatment and 2ww to help blood flow  etc. and overall health.

Sending you a big   Xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Yeah, I'm on high dose vitamins already, and had cortison (prednisolon) throughout tx, we had scratching again, plus they took a sample of my lining to pathologist to test for any... umm..well, anything wrong, think all that can be done is really done. They do not do the kind of protocols here as they do in some clinics as they seem to think there is not enough studies to prove they are anything more than money-making scams... I'm meeting the doc next week fae to face, I asked to use Klexane next time, she thinks there is no need but that there is no harm in it if i do... i do anything..


----------



## Honor77

Oh Hanna... I've had such a busy time recently that I just didn't log in earlier & feel bad that I didn't to have wished you good luck with the PUPO stage. So sorry to now read the outcome of your cycle. You must be very frustrated and I hope that you can come up with a new plan with your consultant as to how to move forward with your frosties  . Insist on anything you think might make that essential difference and I hope you can take some comfort in and resolve to keep forging forward with your new pup  .

Am now in my new house. Carpet turned out to be much better than feared but we'd only been in 1 night when there was a problem with the boiler/gas meter which meant we were back at my parents' fot a few days til it was fixed! All good now though and am loving our new home - feel like a proper grown-up again  !

Love to all,

xxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hey there, hope you are all well.
Honor- Glad it all turned out well in the new flat  
I've just been to my doctor for a chat and to plan the next steps... 
I spoke to her on the phone last week and mentioned auto-immune protocol and clexane, and though she was a bit hesitant at first, she had consulted collegues and has now agreed, and not just that, she also suggested other things I have read about here and elsewhere but never thought they'd do any of it here... 

So on my FET, I will now be on estrogen, clexane, prednisolon and some antibiotic (can't remember which), they will also use pregnyl to make the lining more receptive, they will do assisted hatching on the embryo(s) AND use embryo glue. I was so happy I cried! These are not commonly used here but she consulted another private clinic consultant, and had also been to a conference where a Turkish ivf-doc had done a speech about the auto-immune factors and the protocols they use, so is willing to try.. 
Though my dh had lost all trust in Finnish doctors, even he is a bit calmer now... He was practically blaming the doctors, saying there is nothing wrong with my own eggs and this DE tx apparently had t´just proved it. I could sing till I'm blue in the face about my 0,1AMH and over 16FSH but he is adamant my eggs are fine...   Oh, well, I will put all my trust in this tx. 
I have to wait till next af  
That's all folks, for now xx


----------



## 1972

Wow, that's good to hear Hanna. I think ( like me) you need to explore all that's available to you until you stop. It's great they are listening to you and offering you this opportunity . Everything crossed!!
Xxxx


----------



## Hannushka

Hello all!!!
Hope you are all well... seems awful quiet here... 
Little update: 
I have a new hairy baby, Seppo-the Finnish Lapphund. He is now 11 weeks and a very naughty but cute little boy. He is sooooooooo gorgeous!
 
And also, I am on the last few days of 2ww, however my 2ww is actually 18 days, as I had pregnyl as a support so the test might give false positive for 10 days... Again, I am convinced of a fail and it  really bugs me that my boobs ARE a bit sore, knowing that it is the flippin' Pregnyl trying to give me false hope again... 
Also, more drama has come our way... Dh went on a deserved break back home for few weeks, by car, as he has developed a flight-fright... Well, the car broke down, and a new part costs a fortune... not only that, his flat there got robbed and he lost over a grand of money he had left at the flat so he wouldn't spend it when he went out... Jesus! When does this bad luck end for us?!! Now, he has had to face his fear and jump on a plain, so we now have no car. He will have to go back to work to earn more cash to buy the part and send it back home to fix it, then pay his friend to bring the car back here... I'd say sell the ****er and buy a decent car where you don't have to order parts from flippin' Japan  
That's all folks, byeeeee


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## Carey

Hi ladies...

How are you all? 

Hanna - really do hope that no news is good news Hun? Sorry to hear about all the problems though, did hubby get the car sorted? How horrible being robbed... Hope your DH wasn't hurt in anyway? Xx

Love to you all xxx


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## 1972

Oh Hanna!!! You are really being tested!! What was 2ww results?! 

I hope perhaps it's good news? 

Your puppy is soooooo cute! Gorgeous.

Let us know your news xxx


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## Nordickat

I didn't know why I was suddenly drawn to FF until I saw Seppo. I'm in love Hanna and it was clearly my 6th sense bringing me here to see a puppy photo. I hope you are now happily pregnant?
No idea when I was last here and I had a very very brief scan through. Congratulation Curley, it's about time you had your dream come true. I don't think I have missed any other major baby news.

Hope everyone is loving being a mum and appreciating every second, even those exhausting and trying seconds lol.

I'm off to see Karen in a few weeks and caught up with squirrel a few months ago. They are as fab and lovely as ever 

Catch up again in another year or so ;-)
Katxxx


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## Honor77

Hi *Buds* !

It's been ages since I last posted... I'm in touch with most of you in some other shape or form so very rarely log in.

Hanna: How are things with you? I'm sure your new fur baby is bringing you much joy - I'm not a dog person at all but even I have to admit he's cute ! Any news on cars and treatment?! I'd like to think no news is good news on your last cycle.. 

Kat: How lovely to see your post ! Hope you're keeping well and had fun with Karen. How is she?

All good here  All nicely settled in our new house, work going ok and generally enjoying life with Little Miss M, family and friends. Looking forward to see *Pooky*, *Curley*and *1972* in a couple of weeks !

Love to all ,

xxx


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## Twinklie

Hi everyone!

It's been so long since I checked in, been pretty quiet here. Hope everyone's doing well and looking forward to some good news soon - Hanna?

I'm busy with my two boys, H is just over 3 and J nearly 1 and a half now. It's exhausting sometimes (quite often actually) but I feel grateful every day, I really do.

Would love to be friends with more on you on ********, love seeing the pictures and hearing the latest. 

Love to you all!


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## Twinklie

Not sure anyone still checks in here, nice to see some of you on ********! We've decided to give our two frozen blastos a shot, just had a scan today and transfer will probably be around the end of next week.   I'm pretty sure it won't work, never been lucky with tx, but would be really cool if it did. Trying not to think about a possible pregnancy and baby too much, just happy we're giving our embies a chance. Feels like the right thing to do.

Hope everyone's doing well, would love to hear more about what's going on with everyone.   

Lots of love


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## Big hat

Hey Twinklie,

Just decided to pop on here. Hope your transfer went well. Xxxxx


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## Twinklie

Thank you! 

Didn't make it to transfer in August as didn't get a smiley face on the ovulation test. But finally had my transfer last Friday. Since then I've been to a rock concert, an amusement park and a children's track and field session, so the whole "stay home and rest" thing has gone out the window! We'll see how it goes.... OTD not until the 13th, which is ridiculous. I'll start testing tomorrow and should know by the weekend.

What about you, how is everything with you?

xxx


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