# New on here and just started our adoption journey ... Any tips please :-)



## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi all ! Me and hubby have just started our adoption journey with our LA . We have done a telephone interview and filled the initial form in and received an acknowledgement letter back to say they will be in touch re SW visit , we are not sure what to expect from the visit and what sort of questions they will ask ? Also how soon does your family get involved and do they get in touch with close friends , at the minute we have only told mine and hubby's Dads as we don't want to get hubby's Mum too excited in case it goes wrong ? 

Also we have 3 ponies , 8 rabbits and 2 cats , will they need to be assessed too ? Will the large amount of pets go against us ? 

Thanks for reading ... Any help or tips very welcome ! X x


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Smudgey (one of my cats is called that!!  )
Well done on the first steps on this journey.  Each LA is different but they have to cover the same things, the guidelines can be read in a number of ways!
The initial visit will be an informal chat really, giving you more information about adoption through the LA, seeing what your feelings are and what you feel you have to offer, the age(s) of children you have thought about, child care experience you have and possibly what sort of time you could take off work after placement.  They may want to look round the house so if the spare bedroom that you feel would be a child's is cluttered, sort it out!  Make sure it looks as though you have the space for a child now rather than that you will have to make huge changes when matched.  Most, I daresay all, clean like mad before a visit and whilst I did first time round I would say that the house needs to look lived in, not a show home.  SWs will have seen some horrendous states if they have been involved in Child Protection so everyday 'mess' is not something they will worry about.  If you have a garden make sure it is secure and safe or at least have notes on what you plan to do to make it so, eg putting a lock on the gate, repairing/replacing fencing.
I don't think they would expect you to tell lots of people at this early stage as its still very early and more about finding out if adoption is right for you.  The prep courses are hard going and a lot of people do drop out during or after that as they decide its not for them.  Most SWs don't contact your referees until later into the homestudy and then they will only contact the people you give them details for.
As long as you can afford your pets, have the time to look after them and a child and they are not 'dangerous' there shouldn't be a problem, in fact pets can be very good for children.  You may have to consider what you will do if a child is allergic to a pet, whether you would re-home your pets?  For our cats we just had to fill in a questionaire.
Good luck
OT x


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi old timer , one of my cats is smudged , hence the name ! 

Thanks for your advice , we have two spare rooms , ones a bedroom / overflow for my clothes lol and ones an office as I am home based , so def need to sort the spare bedroom out ! Garden is very safe but have a huge rabbit run down one side of it , no one on here has mentioned rabbits or ponies so it's these I am concerned. About I suppose as. I spend a lot of time and money on the ponies but that's mainly cos we have no children .


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hiya  
re the pets i guess you just need to consider how much time you spend on them currently and have at least thought through a plan of how you would manage their care plus the care of a child. I'm sure its a pretty easy thing to work out but the sw will prob want to see you've given it thorough thought..like have you back up carers for ponies if child is sick etc
  unless you show that you wouldnt be able to put the childs needs before the ponies then i'd see no reason for it to be a big problem...

kj x


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Thanks for your input , we have had a call off SW and they are coming next Thursday , eeeek !


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Hi Smudgey, I have several dogs and several ponies which I also spend alot of money on! They have never been looked at as a negative but more a positive thing for our potential children to be involved in. Like others have said though just be prepared to talk about how you will manage with them like over introductions who will care for them and I also showed ways of cutting there costs should finances get tight etc. Good luck


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi waterkafuffle ! 

Thanks for your reply , that's good to know , we rent a private yard and we all help each other out so the intros etc should be no problem , and two of them live out all summer as they are young so that should help , the yard is on a working farm , but my friend takes her 2 yr old up and the farmers son has a 2 yr old and a 5 year old and they all love it and try to help out bless ! 
I just hope we don't get a SW who isn't outdoorsy ! 
Good luck with your journey x x


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## MrsYG (Oct 30, 2007)

Smudgey - I've replied to you on the main chat thread, regarding your ponies.    Our SW said it was definately not a problem, in fact quite the opposite, as she could make a LO's dream come true... moving into a family with ponies, and LO's love rabbits too!!!


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## Cornflower (Jun 5, 2011)

Hi Smudgey,

Just wanted to respond re: telling family members about your plans. I had an initial phone chat with a sw a few weeks back and when I said I hadn't yet told my parents she said they'd want to be happy that my family were supportive before they took me on. Now this could be because I'm single and so the support network is more important, but I decided that I would be a good idea to let my parents know before I get into applying formally, so it doesn't become a reason for them to turn me down.

So, I am telling my mum tomorrow - yikes!! More than a little nervous, just not sure how she'll respond. But, it needs to be done, and atleast my sister is already very supportive. 



Anyway, all the LA's seem to be different in their criteria, but just wanted to share....


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi Cornflower ! We have told my Dad ( my Mum passed away 7 years ago ) and told DHS Dad too , we haven't told his Mum as yet as SIL is going through IVF and has talked about adoption but they can't do it until they have finished treatment , so we know MIL is fully supportive of adoption as she was over the moon when SIL told her that they had enquired , we just dont want to get her hopes up until we know a bit more really as she is already upset the SIL has nbeen turned down and that their IVF has failed 3 times :-( 

Good luck with telling your Mum , am sure it will be fine , but know how you feel as I was nervous telling my Dad lol x x


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

as a child, i think if i had known there were people out there waiting to adopt with 3 ponies 8 rabbits and 2 cats i would have put myself up for adoption! sounds great fun. although you'd have to be careful none of them were about to keel over because it would be awful to introduce new child to rabbit X only for it to go to the great rabbit-fields in the sky soon after.. don't even know how long rabbits live mind ...


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## time2bmom (Jan 18, 2012)

goldbunny said:


> as a child, i think if i had known there were people out there waiting to adopt with 3 ponies 8 rabbits and 2 cats i would have put myself up for adoption! sounds great fun. although you'd have to be careful none of them were about to keel over because it would be awful to introduce new child to rabbit X only for it to go to the great rabbit-fields in the sky soon after.. don't even know how long rabbits live mind ...


Lol.. totally agree, I would have LOVED that!


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## time2bmom (Jan 18, 2012)

Welcome aboard honey

Lots of help and friends to be found here at different stages on their journey and in different situations. 

I'm going with a VA rather than an LA and they have been amazing so far. So quick to get me onto a Prep Group and so far.

Good luck with everything!


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