# Anyone with experience of surrogacy who is not married?



## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Can anyone help me get my head around this one?

If you are not a married couple (i.e. you are unmarried, a single woman or a same sex couple) you can't currently apply for a parental order and instead must apply to adopt.  What I'm trying to figure out is how exactly that adoption process works.  Do social services/ the courts require you to get approved generally as prospective adopters by an adoption agency before the pregnancy (like you would if you were adopting an unrelated child), or is the application treated as a 'step-parent' application?  

I'm researching this at the moment, but wondered if any of you had any real experience.

Many thanks.

Natalie
[email protected]


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## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

http://www.surrogacyuk.org/cgi-bin4/default.asp

http://www.surrogacyuk.org/contact%20.asp

Try the links above Natalie  The SUK boards are fantastic and you won't find more up to date information anywhere else I don't think  Or give Carol a call - I am certain she will know the answer 

Hope that helps 

/links


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Thanks very much.  It's the information on Surrogacy UK which has challenged what I previously understood - I will definitely give Carol a ring to discuss.

Natalie


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Nat, 
Just to let you know that Carol (SUK) is currently suffering quite badly from morning sickness, and is always snowed under, so it may be a while before you ger hold of her.
You might be better off posting omn the board, or e-mailing one of the other SUK committee members.
EJJB
  x


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi EJJB

Actually I got through to Carol on Friday and she was super-helpful.  Basically, her experience is that social services won't touch non-married surrogacy arrangements with a bargepole (the argument being that it criminally infringes the law which prohibits adoptions - you are essentially creating a baby for adoption and that's illegal).  She doesn't know of anyone who has succeeded going down the adoption rather than parental order route.

The interesting thing is that I think I've found a fairly straightforward way around the problem, so that you can use adoption after surrogacy without breaking the law.  It takes advantages of some changes to the law which came into force in January 2006 and no-one else seems to have spotted it.  I'm doing some notes on this that I'll post here once they're ready in case anyone is interested.

In the long run, it may be academic anyway as the government is currently proposing to open parental orders to unmarried and same sex couples (though not single women).  However, since that's at least 2 years away, there may be people out there who need to find a solution in the meantime.  I'd love to represent the precedent case!

Natalie


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## tabbycat222 (Sep 5, 2006)

Hi Nat

I must say, I was surprised by the response you got on this.  My reading of the HFE Act which introduced the parental order for married surrogates was to provide a simplified route to acquiring parental status without going through the process of adoption.  I don't recall anywhere in the debates the assumption that unmarried commissioning couples could not legally adopt. just that the simplified process would not extent to unmarried couples.  I always understood that commissioning couples did not need prior authorisation from social services but could have post hoc approval.  Will see if I can dig out any case law on this

tabby


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Tabbycat.

Yes that was always my understanding of reading the commentary around the legislation (even the new updates to the HFEAct refer to parental orders as 'fast-track adoption').  However, there are some problems raised by adoption law and the way it works:

1) It is illegal to 'arrange an adoption' other than through an authorised adoption agency.  That is exactly what you are doing if you conceive a child with an agreement that the intended parents will adopt.

2) It is illegal to make any payment for adoption (which could be read as including payment of expenses to a surrogate).

It seems, from what Carol says, that social services are aware of these issues and very scared by them, and she said they simply won't touch unmarried surrogacy arrangements (and in certain cases social services even threaten to have the child taken into care!).  

I've found a way around the problems legally, as long as you organise things properly from the start so that at least one of the intended parents is a legal parent.  You can then apply for a step-parent adoption rather than a full-scale unrelated adoption and that gets round the criminal offences.  Since step-parent adoptions have only been available to unmarried couples since January 2006, this is a fairly new solution.

Interesting stuff.  I'd love to hear from anyone who has in reality attempted a surrogacy adoption.

Natalie


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## tabbycat222 (Sep 5, 2006)

Hi Nat

I remember reading some of the early caselaw on adoption after surrogacy (before the parental orders came into existence) and certainly the judges were happy for 'expenses' but not 'payment' to be made.  the 'arrangment' issue hadn't occurred to me.  Interesting stuff..

tabby


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Thanks.  I'll have a look for some pre-1991 cases.  Maybe they got more restrictive on adoption after the route of parental orders became available, or maybe what Carol says just reflects social workers making more of a meal out of things than is necessary (which is certainly the case for lesbian adoptions after donor insemination so I wouldn't be surprised).  

I think you can avoid the pitfalls provided you take steps to make sure that the intended father is the legal father (either by using an unmarried surrogate, or by getting the surrogate's husband to confirm that he did not consent to the arrangement).

Are you a lawyer too by any chance, Tabby?  

Natalie


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Thanks for all this information Natalie.  I am single and TTC using a known donor (friend) and I have womb lining problems and wondered if a host surrogate would be the answer. My eggs, his sperm.  But I didn't know if it would be possible to be taken on as a single mother to be, although my donor would be named on a birth cert and I am happy for him to have shared parental responsibility should anything happen to me- this is what we have decided now trying with IVF/ICSI.

I have just seen on Fertility 4 Life they say they work with single and gay parents to be. How can the law be ok for some and not others?
://www.fertility4life.com/wni/surrogacy-faq.asp

/links
L x


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## bottleofwater (Jun 19, 2007)

i do find the current surrogacy situation in this country very old fashioned and worrying.  In the states they have agencies for gay couples and singletons whether that be a male or a female.  THe only huge downside is the cost.  Your name immediately goes on the birth certificate as well. The first singleton male in this country had his sperm with gestational surrogate (donor eggs). He is in his 50's and has triplets. He had to prove his dna in this country  to have the children accepted.


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi JJ1 - You'll need to adopt post-birth to extinguish your surrogate's parental rights, and you need to take great great care not to break the law in making the arrangements as you could end up in an awful mess later (you don't want any risk at all that your child could be taken away from you!!).  I suggest you get some legal advice on your particular circumstances - do email me if you'd like my help.  

Have you already found a surrogate?  Having spoken to Carol at SUK I don't think they'd be able to help you.  I'll check out your link - thanks for that.

Bottleofwater - totally agree that the law is really outdated and that the US is far ahead of us.  They are proposing fixing that in part at the moment, but it still won't help single mums/ dads who want to conceive by surrogacy.

Natalie


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Natalie Thanks so much
L x


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