# Mummy of two :-)



## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

My little boy came home on Monday aged 5 months, just four months after his sister joined our family aged 11 months. I now have my hands full with a 16 month old and 5 month old but I'm very happy. Contact was hard work staying in a hotel with our 16 month old who although angelic was utterly fed up and exhausted by the end of contact. It's been a tough first couple of days but today we had real breakthrough. Little man never napped in foster care due to their busy, loud home and no opportunity to do so - he'd run on 30 mins for an entire day! They were nice people but there's less noise in Central London. They said he was grumpy and it's obvious why! He got a lot of sleep with us during contact in his pram etc and since being home I launched into proper cot nap training that lasts more than 20 minutes. Today he managed 1.5 hours in his cot in the morning and 45 mins in the afternoon before waking screaming. This is a big improvement on the several 20 minute naps he took yesterday with persuasion. I'm helping him to learn to self-settle and it's taken little encouragement. Thankfully he pretty much sleeps through at night.

He was used to falling asleep on someone in placement so would naturally wake screaming when he found they'd put him down and asumedly they then got him up, ignoring the 'I need more rest' thumb sucking and eye rubbing. I'm very proud he's done this today as yesterday he would sleep for 20 mins, wake screaming, take 15 minutes or so to calm, fall asleep for another 20, wake screaming etc etc.

I got in touch with my daughter's FC who was brilliant and told me what to do. Today he has re-settled himself during naps (before long I'll have him sleeping 3-4 hours a day as he should be at his young age) and tonight he woke crying hard after 1.5 hours and all I did was enter the room saying 'mummy's here', rubbed his tummy, and he went straight off.

We're utterly knackered, two so young are full on and it's exhausting, but incredibly happy to have both our children with us  

Adoption is hard work, but the rewards do outweigh the rough times. Our daughter is struggling to accept the changes, she loves her little bro but is emotional and tantrumming frequently. Extra love and patience are being given to her although the sofa is less than impressed at being angrily hit regularly (this is her new method of expressing anger as she knows hitting me is not ok).

Anyway that's my little update   I'm off to do his dream feed and get some sleep myself  

X


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Congratulations   Sounds like you are all settling in very well


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## gettina (Apr 24, 2009)

Thought you'd been quiet ;-)
Life sounds amazing, if shattering.
Congratulations to all the family.
And my word yes, getting him more sleep has to be top priority!
Good luck working with unsettled sis. Cuddles galore i guess. 
Wonderful update.
Gettina x


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Wow fab to hear !   keep us updated ! If you have time lol xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Sooo happy for your mummy elf - sounds like your hard works paying off. Congrats on being a family of four x


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

That's gret news Mummy Elf, I hope you're managing some rest in between too!

Our LO is coming from a very noisy FF, so we have been advised to put some music on inthe background to help her settle when she comes home.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Sounds like you're doing an amazing job well done to you and DH x x


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Thanks guys  

Paul- the 'Summer Infant slumber buddies Bella the Butterfly / Freddy the Frog' is a great asset in our home. It plays for 20 minutes and has (from memory) 4 melodies and 2 'white noise" style sounds ( one is waves on the ocean and the other is crickets chirping /owls hooting). I use it if ever pixie is unsettled and the waves track is really working on little man,

We are shattered but today little elf did his new routine for the first time like a dream. Good job too after screaming half the night    My wonderful sister amazon-primed me the Gina Ford sleep guide and I read the relevant bits in my bleary-eyed state this morning meaning little man started his new routine properly today and has napped wonderfully.

My massive (and they do seem massive) struggles right now are that pixie is the world's biggest whiner and has been for some time (teething and a new brother hugely compounding the issue) and elf is a real screamer who is inconsolable once he starts. I nearly lost it earlier I have to say with him screaming the house down and arching his back ( makes no difference what you do - holding, toys, playing, singing etc) and her in her new phase of tantrumming every five minutes and shouting no.  They seem to be synchronising crying and pooing and whining. He has been held and cuddled a lot in care and as a result if you try to pop him done to do something all hell breaks loose. We've got him a jumperoo and a 'bumbo' which help, as he hates lying on his back, but it isn't long before he starts fussing, then crying, then full blown screaming. We start weaning tomorrow,he is a big boy and more than ready, so hoping that will help!


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Mummy Elf, your updates sound amazing, so pleased for you, with any luck you'll have 2 children who will sleep through tonight 😄


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

He slept from 6.30pm - 7.00am last night and we got our first decent night's sleep in ages!! He has been very happy today - just shows what plenty of rest does for the mind and body!


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Congratulations on your new family of 4. It sounds crazy busy but the rewards must be immense. Thinking of you all and keep up the amazing work. Good luck with weaning


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Mummy it sounds amazing. Congratulations to you and your dh.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people have little or no sleep routine. Our little man was the same. At fc He was smothered love, in fact he couldn't have been loved more but he had no sleep routine what so ever. Like your little man he would cat nap for 20 mins here and there and in total on a VERY unusually good day have an hour in total. He slept on a cousin on the floor in the middle of a very busy Lounge. he would wake 20 mins into his sleep cycle and he would be picked up and bounced awake. i can honestly say when he came to us he was hyper with exhaustion and a monster at times - who could blame him. like you, parts of the gina ford book were my bible. I recorded everything so I could see his patterns. He now sleeps all night, has another 2-3 hours a day and is so much more contented and happy - and so are mummy and daddy  

Have a wonderful time with your new family and take care xxx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Sounds exactly like the foster home ours came from flash! Lovely people, but very much an ethos of baby fitting in with them, hence no routine. I appreciate routine can be 'inconvenient' but his FC didn't even go out at all it seemed, so popping him in his cot away from the fuss to sleep shouldn't have been that tough. Our daughter on the other hand had a busy FC with lots of kids but she had a solid routine which we still keep today. She sleeps all night without waking and has a 2 hour nap in the day. People look at me and say I'm 'lucky' but now we have little man I see for sure (as I suspected) that it's nothing to do with luck or personality - it's about training them into a routine. I spoke to her FC last week who said she'd trained our daughter into a routine so it clearly isn't about luck! In just 3 days our boy is so much happier! He's a different child! Today he woke during his 'long nap' very early screaming the place down so we kept settling, leaving, settling etc and he slept for another hour ... when he wakes screaming its a clear sign he needs more rest. When's he's had what he needs he wakes gurgling. 

We're soooo knackered now, it's been such an exhausting two weeks, but thrilled that little man is settling so well into his new life and so much happier in his new routine. No one but other adopters could ever understand the toll contact and placement takes!


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

lovely reading this Elfie. you're making me broody


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

congratulations mummyelf on being mummy of 2   
we were exhausted after our 2nd intros with babybro..i felt like our life had been thrown up again when we had got just straight after DD! the first few weeks were really hard..the kids were fine..slept/ate etc.. it was us that struggled! (well apart from DD's obsession with shaking toys 1/2 inch from babybros eyes every 2 minutes which was very tiring indeed!) it was intense but so much fun! I did feel like i did nothing but change nappies at times lol. having them both nap after lunch every day without fail was my life saver!
enjoy enjoy..life with 2 small ones is so much fun along with the hard work  
kj x


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