# End of Our IVF Journey and the hope of having our own family



## smeghead

Hi all 

Thought I would write and get my thoughts and feelings out of my system, to those who may know what we are going through. 
We have just failed in our final IVF attempt and I feel we have no where to go from here, I don't want to hear from people "that there are lots of people in your situation", "how tying having family is" etc etc. I just want to scream at these people and yes they are always people who have family of there own. 
It seems that all around me there are people who are pregnant (may be the nature of my job I am a nurse so therefore work with lots of women) and oops it just happened by accident, how unfair life is.
I know it will take time to come to terms with the fact we will never have family of our own (something others take for granted) and I don't mean to have these feelings towards these pregnant people and yes I know I do sound so selfish but life is so unfair.
I am so lucky that I have a very supportive loving husband who fills my world and we are a family the 2 of us and the dog.

Love Lou xxxx


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## C0nfused

Jen x


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## kizzymouse

Big Hugs Lou - I am in exactly the same boat as you and finding it really hard esp as its christmas - I keep thinking I should've been 3 months pregnant if my bfp had stayed, I really know how you feel and its just awful   

You dont have to have kids to be a family hun - we are a family of six - us two and the four cats   

Pm me anytime you wanna rant xxx


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## Lentil

Hugs to you all. 

I feel the same - If my BFP wouldnt have mc then I would be 8 months pg now..I so imagined spending this Christmas with a huge pg belly and happily missing out on the champers etc. 

Maybe we are all getting closer and it may happen to us in 2009? xxxxx


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## kizzymouse

Not for me, its the end of treatments for us - we are buying a new house instead, still doesnt take the pain away of never being a mum except to fur babies!!   

hugs to you all


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## Kizzy161

Hi Kizzymouse,

I think I remember you from the august cycle buddies.

We're also wondering whether now is the end for us afer our third IVF/ICSI recently ended in early m/c or chem pregnancy.  If I wasn't feeling so miserable that and the co-incidence of our simlar user names might've made me smile.

Anyway, a new house sounds great.  What are your plans?  Whatever they are, I hope you find peace with your decision and a new sort of fulfilment and that 2009 proves to be a positive turning point for you.

Karen x


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## 7sector

hi smeghead just read your story its so sad can i do anything to help fulfil your dream hun . i shared my eggs in 07 i got a bfp my recip got bfn sadly but ill donate again if helps you.

love and hugs jeanette


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## smeghead

Thanks ever so much for the wonderful offer, but at this point in time we are finished with the IVF journey, but we may return.

Love Lou x


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## mitch_ems

Hi Lou

I failed my last attempt at IVF in April....once I recovered from the shock, because despite myself I really hoped that it would happen this time...I remember crying so much that I couldn't cry any more.  

I am now 6 months on and I'm sorry to say that whilst my grief has become more controllable, the sadness is still with me.  Over the last week, 3 work colleagues have told me that they are pregnant, and whilst I think I handled the discussion well, inside I felt angry and resentful that I did so. 

Sometimes I worry that the sadness will be with me forever - I think somewhere I know that it will be.  My main objective now is to try and make sure that it doesn't define who I am. Something that I still struggle with, but hope that I'll get there. I hope that my inability to be a Mum will mean that I will become something else different but wonderful.  I hope the same for you too. 

What I hope for both of us in 2009, is that it becomes a year of living life...for me right now that involves drinking a glass of port and enjoying the freedom of being able to do so. 

Lots of love to you.

Emma


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## kizzymouse

Emma - I feel the same as you hun, I'm coping but the sadness is there deep within, sometimes not so deep, I cried buckets after watching mamma mia the other day - at the part when she is singing the ssad song about her daughter as she helps her get ready to get married - i thought I'll never have that with a daughter and it upset me!  
Plus I've only been in mew job for a few months and as its xmas everyone keeps asking have you got kids? Argh! somehow we'll get thru it!!  

Kizzy - hi namesake! I remember you, its so sad our bfp's turned to bfn's - just so unfair, why not us? I would rather have had a bfn right away  

Hugs to you all


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## Fluffy Bunny

Oh how I can relate to all your posts I have just read, I to am at the end of a what feels like a long road (more like a motorway!!)
Had a awful christmas with non understanding inlaws , Failed final IVF Dec) Felt extreamly low new years day for some reason .
But have decided to move on, try to be happy for 2009, its just us two and our wonderful furbabies (2 cats) which I love dearly, 
I can't think how I would have coped without my animals. 

I wish you all the best for 2009 in what ever you do


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## kizzymouse

Deffo with you on the fur babies - I'm so glad we have them, I love them so much - they are less hassle than kids anyways!!   

Hugs to everyone


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## dhikki

Hi all,

I too can relate to all your posts not that it helps i know!  

I don't want to dream anymore that maybe one day it will happen. That doesn't help. Infact i think it makes it worse. I am trying to hold my husband closer and love him more, after all he is still with me and still loves me despite the heartache of the last seven years, ttc. 

It is the hardest thing in the world, but i am trying to look at what i do have and be content with that. We are a family if not the norm, we have 6 dogs and a foal, 1 parrot and 2 mice! As i said not the norm but it's my family and i love them all.

I send my love to all of you   Donna x


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