# Giving away embryos



## cheery p (Jun 21, 2006)

hi not sure were to write this. we ivf 3 years ago we had 5 embyos 2 put back in which worked first time we have 2 great kids a boy n girl. we then got a natrual bfp big surprise we have a great little girl. we have 3 embroys left and are thinking of giving them away. It is a hard thing to do. Just wondering if any1 else has donated embryos and how you felt about it? thanks cheery p xx


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## ~ MJP ~ (Oct 16, 2006)

I'd be really interested to know what others have done and how they've felt about it too?!

We've got 4 frozen blasts and although I've happily donated eggs twice I'm not sure I could donate these embies, it's much more personal. 

I can't bare the thought of them being discarded though either, they didn't ask to be created.

It's a tough one?


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## ELIESE (Sep 6, 2006)

Hi Cheery P - it is a hard one but i think you can only donate for research (i might be wrong) or just let them perish, i would not be able to donate to another couple because of them being embryos, i too have donated eggs but that is different.

Thanks
Clare


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## cheery p (Jun 21, 2006)

hi, girls really is a hard 1. hubby all for donating them 2 anouther couple. I just dont no what to do. May sound silly but they feel like my babies. And not sure how the children would feel if they wanted to get in touch with us wen there older nowin we have 3 kids but didnt want them sounds silly i now. just so many things to think of cheery p x


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## ~ MJP ~ (Oct 16, 2006)

Hi Cheery - You are not silly, those feelings are completely normal    I have the same concerns.

I sometimes feel like my only option would be to have another shot at FET and let fate decide as I simply will find it very hard to discard or donate them.


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## guccimama (Sep 11, 2008)

Hello Ladies.
I just wanted to give another side to this. I have  3 older children but my husband and I have always wanted another baby...see signature...I was forced to be sterilized at just 23 years old. We tried IVF twice but no joy, we were told our only hope to have a baby was through egg donation, but in this country unless someone gave me some eggs we would not even be put on the list as I was then 38 and too old. 
I cant explain how much we want another baby. I know some of you wont agree as we already have children but I am still very madly in love with my dh, we enjoyed brining up our children and made a choice to have our first child very young, I have been with my dh since I was 16 and he was 18. We have been through so much together and have so much to offer. 
We decided on embryo adoption as it is not important to us that the baby is genetically linked to us, it would be our baby. The first attempt worked but we sadly lost our so wanted baby in september...i should be 35 weeks pregnant now. Loosing that baby was devasting, really devastating, it did not matter that the embryo had been grown originally for someone else..it was our baby. We have to go abroad for tx as it is not an option in this country. We are not rich people but are determined to bring a little one into our family. 
Embryo's can be donated in the UK if you choose the recipients. There are so many lovely ladies on here that would be forever grateful of embryos that are so deserving.  I know that without some lovely lady abroad we would not even have a chance...please consider it rather than them getting destroyed...I know it is a very hard decision but just wanted to give the other side.
Really hope I dont offend anyone as it really is not my intention...
Lots of love
Guccimama


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## ~ MJP ~ (Oct 16, 2006)

Thanks so much for sharing your story Guccimama..

It has given me so much to think about.

xxx


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## guccimama (Sep 11, 2008)

Hello Again
Something DH mentioned last night. When we went for our IVF in Sheffield we had to sign consent forms regarding what we would do with spare embies if we got any and then did not want them? The options were: donate for research, destroy, give them to and infertile couple......
Did you have to complete this? 
Guccimama


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## ~ MJP ~ (Oct 16, 2006)

No, I don't remember completing a form like this. 

At the moment we don't really want to have anymore children but have agreed to keep the embryos frozen until their 5 years at the clinic is up, so just under 3 years. Incase we change our minds.

My heart will not let me discard them so am leaning towards donating. Although I know I will find this very difficult too!    

xxx


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## guccimama (Sep 11, 2008)

MJP....honey forget about them for now...you have loads of time to think about it. You can talk about it again in a couple of years your mind may be clearer then....
Lots of love 
Guccimama


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## ✩ Annasupastar ✩ (Apr 19, 2008)

I would defo do it...DH wouldnt, no way...underlined..explanation mark. He says they are `our babies` but the thought of leaving them to perish gives me nightmares. We havent yet completed our family & our embroys are 2 days old & not blasts so I guess we will loose some when we have FET in April. Gucci...We had a bit of a aurguement signing those forms but hes my husband & I have to respect what he thinks (we have also had aurguements over organ donation & funerals!! I want to donate my organs & be cremated but DH wont hear of any of these!!   Tough cos ive been online & done it!!) You cant donate embryos without both your consent so thats me cornered if we have any left over. 
I cant understand what it must be like for you Gucci. It must have been horrible. Do you mind me asking if you have tried embryo donation in this country? Would you if you havent?xxx


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## guccimama (Sep 11, 2008)

Hi Anna my Jessops buddy.....
Both DH and I agree that we could donate any spare embryos if we would have had them.. I also want to donate and be cremated...he is not so sure but would respect my decision.
ED is something that you both have to be very happy with from start to finish...I would have probably done it in this country given the option...but it also depends on the cost. For some stupid reason everything has to be sooo expensive in this country..
When I went over to Czech in July I went alone as it clashed with our family holiday...I joined them a few days later and tested a few days later...first mistake...dh was upset that I did not wait to test when he wa with me...quickly realised that he needed to be involved as much as possible to make him part of the process. I would be carrying the baby and so get to bond etc through my pg but he needs to be involved practically. He actually said that he did not feel part of it and that it brought home that I could have done it without him...that is a lesson for us I suppose...
Needless to say he will be giving me injections next week, even though I like to do them myself, and he is coming with me in 3 weeks for transfer....because there is no genetic link it is important to be involved as a couple from the start...
Cant I waffle on ladies...lol
Guccimama


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## cheery p (Jun 21, 2006)

Hi every1 thanks for your replys. Dh and I have got 2 go n see some1 in liverpool womens in april to talk about donating embryos we have decided to give some couple the family they want . As we were lucky enough to have our wish come true. Thank you everyone xxlove cheery p xx


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## guccimama (Sep 11, 2008)

Oh cheery that is so bloody lovelyx and such an amazing thing to do x I am pleased to report that I am officially four weeks and two days pg with donated embies without someone like you our dream of extending our family would not even be possible x I want to just say thank you on behalf of your recipients. Sounds daft but they may never get the chance to say it x 
lots of love gucci


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## cheery p (Jun 21, 2006)

hi gucci, wow so happy for you    thank you for your replays and helping us make up our minds on donatin embryos. Just hope who ever has them has a happy out come. Have a fantastic healthy happy pregnancy xx cheery


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## ~ MJP ~ (Oct 16, 2006)

Hi Cheery.. I'm so pleased you've made a decision, a wonderful and very kind one at that!  

Guccimama.. Huge congratulations!! All the very best for a happy and healthy pregnancy    

Still undecided here! 

xxx


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