# Pros & Cons of going via Surrogacy Agency & Independent



## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Hello there   ,

I was wondering if I could get everyones feedback on this.  We are looking into starting a family via surrogacy and wanted to know what the pros and cons are of going through an agency or trying to meet people independantly.

Could I find out your opinions and experiences on the subject 

Thank you!!!

tweets x


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Hi Tweets...

In the UK there are no agencies which operate for profit matching surrogates and IPs.  However, I assume you mean COTS and Surrogacy UK in which case...

They do attempt to screen out surrogates who are not serious and committed to the whole process.  Whilst they are not 100%, I doubt anyone is.  You can go to get-togethers and meet surrogates who are looking to be matched, and with COTS, surrogates are sent a list of IPS who say they have the same aspirations as them.  You get support from COTS and SUK and they have a proven track record.  The surrogate also gets support and they do help your agreement sessions and mediation (if needed).

However, the downside of all this is that there is no guarantee of finding your surrogate and the membership fee runs into hundreds of pounds and must be renewed.


If you go independently, you must do the legwork and ascertain your surrogate's motives for wanting to be one.  You must satisfy yourself as to the suitability of anyone you find.

However, it is true to say that even some surrogates who are members of COTS and SUK do look elsewhere for their matches.  It is also true to say that not all surrogates want to join large support groups.

So although it means lots more work on your part, you do not pay membership fees.  Remember that you will not get any support from COTS or SUK if you are not a member, so ensure you have a support network of your own which you can call upon if you need to (which you will)!

Remember the smaller groups which operate free of charge and may have your surrogate waiting.  Miracles Do Happen, A Little Wish, uksurrogatefamiliesonline.  All useful organisations which serve your cause and therefore maybe worth a look.  Remember you still have to satisfy yourself as to whether you could work with the surrogate as they don't match you.  They do however have surrogates and IPs together in one place that could allow friendship (the most important aspect) to develop.

Good Luck!


Amanda


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## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Thank you Amanda!  You are such a star!    

Surrogacy is a whole new world for me ... I have so much to learn! But I am feeling   about it!  Thank you so much for being so lovely and helpful!


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

Great reply Amanda!

One thing to add is that at SUK (I don't know about COTS) the renewal fee is quite small - I can't remember how much, but £20 comes to mind - so although the initial outlay is significant, you don't have to fork out every year.

Good luck whatever you choose to do!

Fiona x


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Just to correct Amanda SUK do not match Surrogates to couples.
They provide social opportunities for people to meet and develop their own friendships. These are free and open to non members, you only have to pay for your own lunch.
Also they do offer some support to non members as they have a non members section on the message board, where people can ask questions and get advice.
We met our surrogate through SUK, and we are still friends with her.
Our daughter will be two in October.
EJJB
x


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

LGFT, the past is past - I do wish you would put your bad experience behind you and move on!

My, current, experience of SUK is that no matching takes place of any sort and that people create their own friendships without influence of "the organisation" whatever that means.  SUK is a group of friends supporting each other, and I can't imagine anyone would either try to influence someone in this way or, even if they did, be so easily scared off working with someone.


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