# More ill-informed and patronising fertility journalism



## Betty M (Dec 6, 2005)

from today's Guardian - http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,1804775,00.html
to make you spit over your toast. 
I'm going to send her an email when I have calmed down.
Betty x

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## CM01 (Jan 4, 2006)

Well spotted, Betty.  Here is the e-mail I have sent her.

Dear Ms Barbieri,
I rarely respond to articles in the daily press, however I felt compelled to e-mail after reading your article on fertility in The Guardian.  By your own admission, you have been fortunate enough to fall pregnant extremely easily, and to have escaped the torture that is infertility.  On what experience, therefore, do you base your sweeping generalisation that women are referred at the drop of a hat for expensive fertility drugs and IVF?  My husband and I began trying for a baby when we got married three years ago, at the ages of 26.  Believe me when I say that the expression, 'trying for a baby' is never more apt than when referring to couples suffering from any form of infertility.  Because trust me, you try and you try and you try.  And it stops being fun, or spontaneous, or exciting, and becomes mundane and stressful.  Standard practice in the medical profession is to advise couples to try for at least a year before any form of intervention is offered; a far cry from your apparent perception that women are whisked off for IVF after the first period has brought tears of disappointment.  The 'DIY' fertility check methods you refer to are explained to all women seeking help with conceiving, however there is nothing 'easy' or 'quick' about them.  Setting an early alarm at weekends to ensure that your temperature is taken at exactly the same time every day may provide you with a pretty chart to pore over, however it is an inexact science, and showed me absolutely nothing in the eighteen months I attempted it.  As for checking cervical position & mucus; I assume from the rest of your ill-informed reportage that you have never actually attempted this yourself.  Frankly, anything less 'empowering' than a daily examination of my own cervix I have yet to encounter.  You make no mention that half of all fertility issues are experienced not by women, but by men; let us hope, for their sake, that you have some equally 'easy, quick and empowering' self-help options to offer them. 
And so, in the world of Ms Barbieri, women are referred to fertility clinics because it's the easy option.  Clearly you have hit the nail on the head.  I would far prefer to shell out a minimum of £3,000 to inject a cocktail of drugs, suffer a rollercoaster of emotions and physical side-effects, undergo surgical removal of my eggs, the transfer of precious embryos, and a torturous two week wait to establish if I am one of the fortunate 25% to fall pregnant, than to simply have sex a few times a month.  In fact, I'm surprised more people don't 'choose' IVF.  Your lack of knowledge and empathy is astounding. 
I am one of the lucky ones.  After my first cycle of IVF I am currently 8 weeks pregnant.  We have a long way to go, but after three years we had all but given up hope of even getting this far.  Three years is a long time in anyone's life.  It's 36 months, 36 negative tests, 36 resented periods, 36 times for your heart to break.  Yet three years isn't a long time in infertility.  Before you write another word about this complex and emotive issue, spare a thought for the couples who have been trying for five times that many years; who have endured numerous failed cycles of IVF.  Charting their periods & taking their temperature?  Somehow I don't think that will help.
Sincerely,

CM


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## Lou F ❁ (Feb 28, 2003)

Well said Clare very frank and to the point.
Lou xx


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

great email claire 

xx


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## weeble (Dec 5, 2005)

Clare, well done you.


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## pi30 (Jun 8, 2005)

Clare
Thats an excellent reply- what utter rubbish.
I'm thinking of posting something  on the website expressing similar contempt.

Please let us know if u get a reply

Love
Pi

BTW congrats on your pregnancy- how wonderful


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## Tazza (Apr 23, 2006)

Wow Clare - That email is amazing - well done you.  

Thank you for standing up for us - i can't believe how insensitive she was.


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## ♥ Sarah ♥ (Jan 5, 2005)

Clare,

Nice one chuck  

x


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## Charlies-Mum (May 25, 2005)

Well done Clare! (and good luck with the pg!)


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## Reb (Mar 27, 2004)

Hi girls, I have sent this, its not as elequent as Clare's:

Annalisa,

I currently going through a 4th cycle of IVF at the age of 38.  I had to e mail as your article 'Its not too late to take control' is incorrect.

Women going through IVF are empowered.  Do you not think a woman going through a such an expensive, emotional and physically draining experience would not have thought to chart her ovulation before taking the 'easy option' of IVF ?

You clearly have not investigated your topic and have no understanding of what you have written about.  Doctors do not prescribe fertility treatment without first checking the basics, ie, ovulation, semen analysis etc.

If I had read your article prior to seeing a specialist, I may have wasted valuable time.  How would being attuned with your body pick up blocked/damaged tubes, immune issues, chromosome defects, uterine problems, clotting disorders, etc etc ?

With regard to natural aging affecting fertility, your test would not pick that up either.  It appears you do not understand the significance of elevated follicle stimulation levels in woman.  This is a major problem for women.  In such cases many women ovulate as normal, so your basic self diagnosis test would not work.  Women affected should not waste time and seek the appropriate treatment immediately.  Are you not aware that women, in general, become infertile approximately 10 years prior to reaching menopause.  That means they are highly unlikely to conceive, despite still ovulating.  Again, your self test would not pick this up.

Your article is irresponsible, ill informed and patronising.  I am surprised you haven't suggested that couples should go on holiday and 'relax' too.

Rebecca


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## CM01 (Jan 4, 2006)

Sounds pretty eloquent to me, Rebecca!  I wonder if we'll get replies...?  

xx Clare


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## Reb (Mar 27, 2004)

ooops, my spelling is terrible.  Good job I spell checked to e mail.  It got me so mad I couldnt be bothered explaining any more to her.  She meant well, BUT she should check her facts out first !

I dont want a reply as I know she will try to claim she has researched her subject etc.  Oh well....


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## pi30 (Jun 8, 2005)

Hi ladies
I agree with claire- your letter is great too Rebecca.

I hope lots of people write to this patronising, arrogant- and oh so Fu&£ing wonderfly fertile woman to put her straight. I must admit since starting on the ivf road i have been amazed by how many people have "advised" me on what i should do to get preggers.

From the sublime- "try and relax and not stress about it" to the ridiculous "herbal concoctions and vaginal douches whilst avoiding hot baths."

The deeply upsetting thing is .........if i am honest i have tried all these things- everything i have read i have tried- some things i haven't even told my partner about- cos i know he would think i was crazy . Indeed i am an expert in fertility matters- the ancient orient approach to the medical model- I can answer your questions. Sadly for me this is nothing to gloat or brag about- I feel embarrassed and guilty about my desperation. 

I think only other women in our situation truly understand our plight.

Love Pi


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## Reb (Mar 27, 2004)

Pi, you are so right about people giving advice.  Its so hard to smile sweetly when hearing it.  It does seem that some ladies who concieve easily think they are expert in the field.  What they dont give your credit for is actually understanding more about the female reproductive system than they will ever know.  Some people just asume that we must be doing something wrong...arrhhhh...thats why I got annoyed with that article.

I know what you mean about trying things and telling DP.  Its sometimes easier to have to explain ourselves  

Take care.

Love

Becca
x


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## xxTonixx (Jan 5, 2006)

Clare & Reb, Well done girls!


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## Betty M (Dec 6, 2005)

Absolutely - great emails. Hope she is less foolish next time she writes on this issue.
Betty x


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## Fidget (Jan 27, 2005)

Becca and Clare Well done girls......... I have to be honest here and admit to avoiding reading the article as I dont think i can stomach another load of tripe on top of all the other load of tripe I have heard in the last 11 years!!!!

Good on you girls

Debs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## daisyboo (Apr 5, 2005)

Way to go girls lets hope dhe gets our point.
Leila x


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## Dobby (Oct 23, 2005)

Stupid Stupid Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!


Here was my contribution to berating her via email

Dear Ms Barbieri

I have to say that I am stunned that such a poorly thought out piece of writing could be published in a quality news publication such as the Guardian.

Some of the points you raise are true and should be more widely discussed, but your article does not make these points well, fairly or articulately.  To say that advice on how to approach natural conception  'costs nothing, yet doctors rarely explain it, preferring to prescribe fertility drugs and send a woman for tests that she may not need' is just plain ill informed, insulting and judgmental.

As someone who has gone through many years of attempting to conceive naturally (unsuccessfully) and more recently investigation after investigation and four lots of fertility treatment, I would have loved someone to 'just' prescribe fertility drugs and send me for tests!  What actually happened was that I was sent away numerous times by my GP, saying you just need to try for a little longer and explaining all the natural methods to which you refer, and only after 8 years and when I was approaching 40 would he even consider referring me - by which time I would have been above the NHS age limit by the time I reached the top of the (up to 3 years long) waiting list for treatment.  I was therefore consigned to spending an awful lot of time and money arranging my own tests, drugs and treatment.  Sadly, I am by no means unique.

You appear to assume fertility treatment and investigations are available to all..... if you had even half researched your subject you would know this was far from true - rather than the situation which you describe where doctors prefer to prescribe drugs and commence treatment, in most locations fertility treatment is very poorly funded, and only available to a select few.  There is much information and discussion published about the post code lottery of fertility services - including articles in your own paper published last week regarding information released at the Prague Fertility Conference indicating that the UK is one of the worst providers of fertility treatment in Europe.

Get your facts right before you write an article Ms Barbier; your attempt at here is far more fitting of the level of ill informed journalism depicted in a tabloid than a quality publication such as the Guardian.

Regards

Dobby


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## Reb (Mar 27, 2004)

Well said Dobby.  I wonder if she will is eating her words.

Becca
x


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## SusieWinwood (Dec 14, 2005)

Excellent emails ladies! 

Makes my blood boil when a so called 'expert' chooses to witter on about a subject they have little or no knowledge or experience of.  

We are on the first rung of what may be a long ladder and are looking to the future with hope and positive vibes.

Good luck to all of us!    

Susie x


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## emma49 (May 23, 2006)

Well Done Ladies   

Perhaps next time this so-called journalist will think twice before she submits such an inacurate and offensive article. 

Emma.


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

Well done on the emails ladies - i think i may write one too when i have calmed down a bit. It is a shame that her article was basically well-meaning, but then, as ever, it hit so wide from the mark that it actually reinforced a lot of negative misconceptions about IF. :-

[br]Posted on: 28/06/06, 08:28Here's my email 

Dear Ms Barbieri

It was with interest that i read your article in the Guardian, as the opening paragraph appeared to be promising in that it was going to address the idea that women who have children in their thirties and forties are not the selfish, short sighted career-driven creatures that we are often portrayed as being.

However, having finished the piece i was left disappointed that such a well-meaning article actually reinforced many of the other negative stereotyping that women who undergo infertility treatment face on a daily basis, often from within their own family, as there is a gereral lack of understanding of this area of medicine. Assisted conception techniques are often seen as the 'easy option' and many woment have to endure such well-meaning comments as 'relax it will happen' and 'you obviously aren't trying hard enough - joke joke'. I personally have been asked, by a doctor if all the various bits and pieces were being placed correctly during intercourse, and by another, who found out i was due to go on holiday that 'that's your best chance of conceiving naturally' which placed huge pressure on us during our time away and huge self loathing when we found I was again not pregant, despite our very best efforts.

I am currently awaiting the results of a cycle of IVF treatment and can speak first hand of the pain and torment that these treatments subject women and their partners to over a prolonged period of time. I am 34 years of age and have been trying to conceive since i was 30. I have a degree in a Biological Science and am well informed and educated on the female reproductive cycle and how to maximise the potential for conception and have been for many years. My infertility is in the category of unexplained - i.e. there is no obvious reason that I cannot conceive, but it may be due to a condition called endometriosis, which i have recently been diagnosed with. This diagnosis was made following a laparoscopy, which is an invasive procedure, only carried out if there is reason to suspect endometriosis is present, or to treat it if it has been diagnosed already. As I had few symptoms of this disease I was only given the laparoscopy as a diagnostic procedure as part of wider infertility tests, which myself and my partner have endured for over 2 years to try and achieve our dream of starting a family. In fact, it was only after seeking a second opinion from a consultant in a different PCT (as the first consultant pronounced i di not have endometriosis as my symptoms were not severe enough) that we made this discovery.

As a result of this diagnosis, and subsequent treament of the leisions in my abdomen, I was finally refered for IVF treatment. I say finally because this option is not 'easy' as your article appears to imply and is certainly not widely promoted within the medical profession as many other avenues are explored first in many cases. Following intial consultations I was firstly told to basically go away and try for three months whilst blood tests and other diagnostics were carried out months (we had already been trying for a baby for almost 2 years). We then went back and were sent away for another six months - to try naturally. Following this period I was prescribed six months of fertility drugs to induce ovulation, even though my tests indicated i was already ovulating - this was a 'just in case' option. The drugs were unpleasant and did not work so we were then told we had to wait 18 months for any sort of assisted conception treatment from the NHS. We decided to go privately and underwent cycles of interuterine semination, which did not work, before finally having the laparoscopic procedure outlined above earlier this year.

This then bings me to my current wait for results of the first cycle of IVF which we have finally been recommended to help us. I have been injecting drugs since the 22nd of May firstly to place me into a menopausal state, then a second drug to stimulate my ovaries to produce multiple follicles, which is a painful and fraught time, as scan on a regular basis are necessary to check that enough follicles grow. Some cycles have to be cancelled as too little response is seen - some because too much is seen and there is a high risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome - a potentially fatal condition. If this stage is successfully negotiated then the eggs are removed by surgical procedure - occasionally this uncovers that a woman has produced follicles but no eggs are inside them - which is a crushing blow. The eggs are then left to fertilise in a laboratory (or fertilised by intracytoplasmic sperm injection if the sperm is of poor quality or motility) over a period of two nail-biting days before finding out if this has been successful and whether the embryos produced are of sufficiently high standard to replace back into the uterus, another invasive procedure.

And then the wait - made worse by having to take yet more hormones, often in the form of suppositories, to support the luteal phase and encourage embryos to implant. If this does not happen (a 25% success rate per cycle on average) the decision whether or not to undertake another cycle must be taken, following the crushing disappointment of a failed attempt. This goes on, and for some women they can use embryos frozen at the last cycle, if they had enough ( i had to let one of my embryos perish as i had only one spare and single freezes are not carried out - this was heartwrenching in itself). If multiple cycles of IVF fail, more tests may be recommended to test for natural killer cells - to see if the woman's immune system is attacking the embryos - and so it goes on and on. Some women endure cycles of 10 or more in number. Some decide before this that the emotional pain is too great to continue and give up, possibly to explore other avenues such as adoption.

I have not even touched on the pain of women who are waiting for donor eggs or sperm, or those who have conditions that mean they endure literally months of hormanal injections to prepare ther bodies for a single cycle of IVF - many of them who wear HRT type patches and endure menopausal symptoms for months.

And so here I am, wating for the results of my pregnancy test in the next few days. I am tryng to stay positive, but realistically am aware of the success rate for each cycle. I can only hope and pray that my dream wil come true this cycle.

So, to return to your article, i hope that i have raised your awareness that IVF is simply not an easy option - and perhaps if you wish to encourage women to be aware of their own fertility that you publish details of the harrowing route of assisted conception to put to rest many of the preconceptions that the public have of these procedures to ensure that all woment have the full facts of ALL facets of conception, on which to base their life choices.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you wish to discuss any of the information further - the women in the assisted conception community need a public voice to allow them to be heard - perhaps you could assist in redressing the balance in the media.

Yours sincerely

Tessa


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## maria684 (May 12, 2006)

Tessa

well said, i hope she's choaking on her coffee this morning!!

love Maria xx


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

Me too - i feel so much more serene now i have spilled my guts !!!


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## Charlies-Mum (May 25, 2005)

remind me to contact you lot next time I have a dodgy parking ticket  

Great letter Tessa!


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## Lou F ❁ (Feb 28, 2003)

Great letter tessa has anyone had a reply from her yet 
Lou xx


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

Nope - course not!!!!  She's probably binned all the emails to make room for more frothy material!!!


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## CM01 (Jan 4, 2006)

Nope - no reply as yet!

Great e-mail Tessa - sending you all the babydust I can muster for test day  

xx Clare


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## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

WOW - that told her!!  What a great email Tessa.  Wishing you lots & lots of luck for test day

xxx


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## SusieWinwood (Dec 14, 2005)

Well done Tessa on a fab e-mail. 

I hope she does choke on her coffee!  

Fingers crossed for a   4 u both.

 for us all.

Susie x


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

Well - i actually got a reply!!!

She was actually really lovely - and understood where i was coming from. I have written back and offered my services should she ever decide to write an article about infertility - so that's a positive outcome I feel.


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## CM01 (Jan 4, 2006)

That's great Tessa - well done.

She hasn't written to me; glad I wasted my time on a reply...


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

I did write to her a second time today - being a bit more calm and stating that I understood where her article was coming from but still believed we were misrepresented.  It may have had a pacifying effect, which lead to a reply.  Either way, i am glad that one of us got a reply as i think its good to have made a contact.  Here's hoping we get an article!


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## Luc (Jan 30, 2006)

girls, 

well done your articles were fantstic. i could never write so wonderfully. thank you for speaking on our behalfs. 

Lucy


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## Reb (Mar 27, 2004)

Tessa, what a great e mail   and well done on getting a reply....i didnt get one   oh well.


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## TessaF (Aug 15, 2005)

Lucy - I figure that we need to try and get people to understand us as its hard for us to speak out in our personal situations, so that why I think we all get so upset that the media doesn't seem to get to the heart of what we really need them to be saying on our behalf. Lets hope that many little ripples make for big waves.

xx     [br]Posted on: 30/06/06, 12:16Have resurrected the poll in the voting room about how we are portrayed in the media - I will email the results in a few days


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## Frill (Feb 7, 2006)

Blimey!  Your responses girls were amazing.  Like Fidget, I daren't read the article itself (it's enough to know it was sloppy journalism and no doubt painful to read) but I think you put the point accross so eloquently and stongly.

I've taken such a lot of encouragement from reading this thread today because here we all are, battling it out and still staying strong and in this instance, not standing for any rubbish.

Bloomin' well done.

xxxxxxxxxx


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## marble (May 8, 2005)

well done


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## CM01 (Jan 4, 2006)

Tessa, I reckon your reply was a good omen honey - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!    

xx Clare


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