# in desperate need of support



## lulabell (Dec 30, 2004)

hi, my dh and i have been trying for 7 long years. i am under the tag of unexplained infertility.
i have tried clomid and had my first appointment with consultant tuesday just gone to undergo iui. i started my nasal spray yesterday.
of course now is the time that EVERYBODY, friends and family are pregnant , although i am very pleased for them i am finding life at the moment very difficult to stay strong and positve. does any one out there have any magic words to make me stronger!


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## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

Well hello Lulabell

Welcome to FF 

All I can is 10 years unxplained and now I have my longed for daughter. Its tough, real tough when everyone about you is pregnant and it all seems to be so easy for those people, but so so hard for us in this horrible position.

I wish you tons of Babydust luck for you IUI

Why don't you join the girls over on the IUI section, it will be a great place of support and help

Good luck and please shout if I can help anyway 
Amanda xx

Here is the IUI Girls link :

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,7.0.html


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## Fran (Eva04) (Nov 18, 2004)

hi lulabell,
i totally understand what you're going through. i try and blank it out - am not sure that's the best thing to do - but it's my survival technique! you have to try and find a way to acknowledge that other people are getting pregnant but not get yourself emotionally involved in the whole thing. some days i find it easier than others... 
there is someone on this site whose mantra is 'if i get pregnant then fantastic and if not then i will enjoy dh all to myself' - she's now pregnant. 
eva


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## taff (Oct 8, 2004)

Hi Lulabell,

It is difficult isn't it, trying for so long, with no apparent cause for not conceiving and all around people are getting what we want most!!  It's even worse when people say, "oh relax and it will happen when you are least expecting it", yeah right!

I'm sorry that Clomid didn't work out for you, but at least you are now on the next step.  I have read threads on this FF website with girls successfully getting pregnant with IUI, my hopes are that you are the next one!!

Whenever I see another pregnant woman, I immediately put on my jealousy head, but then I remind myself that it will happen to us one day.  And who knows, this woman might have waited a long time and needed a little help too!!

Try and concentrate on the things that are good in your life, rather than other people's.  If I get down or angry, I think of my lovely dh, my fabulous German Shepherd, my house, etc.  

I wish you all the best in your coming cycle, stay positive and  don't forget, it's not how many times you get knocked down that counts, it's how many times you get back up that's important!!

Take care,
Taff


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## Lucy Lou (Oct 19, 2004)

Hi Lulabell,

No magic words I'm afraid! - since my operation in June 03 every single one of my friends has had a baby, some are even on their 2nd!!!

My best friend had her first 2 days before my op! - i have learnt to enjoy all these babies around me, get lots of practice in feeding, nappy changing etc. Switch off when it all gets too much and most of all believe that we will be joining them all one day! I have been very careful not to show any emotion to any of them other than my best friend as i don't want them to "tiptoe" around me!  It helps that my DH is very supportive & understanding.

I am also due to start IUI in a few weeks, so just behind you, wishing you lots of baby dust for 2005.

love lucy lou x


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## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Hi there

You have already found the magical words to make yourself feel better "Fertility Friends"  You need look no further for all the support and advice that you want - and a few laughs along the way !  

Best wishes with your IUI
Jennifer xx


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## EH (Dec 3, 2003)

Not glad that anyone feels like this, but glad I'm not the only one. It's really tough going as I too look around me and everyone including those who have had similar problems are now PG. Happy for anyone that manages it but so want it to be me too. Beginning to feel a bit like the odd one out. I am the only one in my group of friends now that is still trying and it's got so much harder not having them to talk too. I think they now feel awkward too. I try to put on a brave face but at times I feel like hiding, which I think is being noticed now. My DH despairs with me at times as I do I. 

What can we do but battle on and have the good days and bad days. One day they'll all be good I'm sure, just good skint days!!!

Good wishes to all, at least we're not alone now.

xx


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## lulabell (Dec 30, 2004)

thank you so much for all your kind words, i really needed that today. 

i hate to think of anyone else feeling as crappy as i do,as would not wish these feelings and emotions on my worse enemy.but i find it conforting that i am not alone. 
(trust me i do have positive days when i am totally happy and grateful for my fantastic husband, home and of course the animal babies 1 cat and 1 bran new puppy!)

i am feeling much better already!

i hope all your wishes come true very soon!


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## mist (Feb 9, 2005)

Hi Lullabelll,

Just to say welcome to FF, I've only been with them for a week and the support is wonderful.



I know what you mean about everyone seems to be pregnant one of my friends whom I have known for 20 years and always had gynae problems has 3 boys sent me a xmas card saying she was pg again and didn't know how !!

I have days when I feel down (like yesterday) when I bought myself the biggest meringue with cream & fruit you've ever seen!! 


Ive just started to have tests into my infertility.

I wish you every luck with your IUI, thinking of you     

Take Care

Mist x


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## mrs cloudy (Feb 1, 2005)

Hello 
Sorry i havnt got any magic wand either otherwise i would have used it on myself.  It is reassuring to know that we are not alone in feeling this way crappy as it may be.  I find that reading the things that other people are saying  helps to get things into some perspective.  One thing that i have noticed is how great we all think our partners are and i know this has brought me and my dh closer together.  I have friends who have had no trouble in having babies but who have had the most horendous relationship troubles.  Im sure that you know all this already and i know that when you are having a down day no amount of counting blessings will help.  Fingers crossed our time will come.


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## parky71 (Oct 19, 2004)

I really feel for you. I know that low feeling and desperation. I am awaiting lap and undergoing fertility invesigations at the mo. I am 33 with poss endo but my DH is super. He is my rock and considering I must be unbearable to live with at times, it has definitely brought us closer together.
You are not alone - our turn will come. I am reading 'The art of happiness' by Dalai Lama and am hoping for some spiritual guidance! 
take care,
Jo x


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## freddy (Feb 7, 2005)

Hi  Lulabell
I've been trying to conceive for 5.5 years had one pregnancy which was an ectopic that was after 6 months of trying and nothing ever since.I was at the point that every weekend after leaving work i would go into slight depression, Then i found this site started using the chat room, Its the first time that I've ever been in a chat room, I don't know whether you have tried it but you can take one thing away from it and thats that your not alone my weekends aren't depressing anymore and i haven't felt down just optimistic
Mandy


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## Dukey (Feb 20, 2005)

Hi,  I'm new to the site too!
I've had two failed IVF cycles, one failed and one BFN after two eggs implanted - they said that I have a poor quality egg - infertility unexplained.
Having been really low about this for the last two years thought I would give it one last shot before looking at other options - how I wish I had found this site earlier.  
All the best - we're all in the same boat and there are many success stories out there.


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hello Lulabell
Just remember that when your time comes you will appreciate that baby far more than any of your freinds and family do, so in some ways we are the lucky ones, because our friends and family who fall pregnant at the drop of the hat will never know how it feels to go through the agony of fighting infertility to be blessed by a much longed for child, they all take it for granted that they can have babies, so they can't possibly appreciated them in the same way that we will when our time comes and your time WILL come!
welcome to ff and good luck 
Dydie


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