# BFN - so isolating and miserable



## jax (Dec 13, 2004)

AF arrived on our first wedding anniversary - a day before testing. It had taken two days to arrive properly - both of those just dark brown spotting so was convinced I was pg. I'm in Spain and there is no support here at all and I feel so alone. DH is being brilliant and friends that know and family suppportive but I can't help feel like a social pariah. Friends that don't know I feel like screaming at "I'm going through hell" but I'm also sick of being the one everyone feels sorry for. The thought of having to go through the whole thing again just kills me. My best friend has just had her beautiful baby girl and the rest of my friends all have children. I feel so desperate I just don't know where to turn. I can't stop crying but know you have to pick yourself up and carry on and that's so hard.


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## tweetie (Feb 5, 2005)

aww hunni.(((hugs))) to you.you sound so upset and it may seem like you are alone hunni but really you arent.i hope your mood lifts soon and you can start to feel more positive again and focus on whats next and i wish you every success in whatever you do,but wanted you to know im thinking of you and am here if you want to chat hunni.take good care.lol.xxxx.


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi Jax
So sorry you are feeling so down honey.  Just wanted to send you some big      and to reassure you that you are not alone in this.  It is a terrible, awful, gut-wrenching feeling sweety, but you are strong and you can get through this.
Lots of love and    
Tracy


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## olivemic (May 17, 2006)

I'm there too.. its just ****.  I think you need to allow yourself to feel rubbish - face into the pain .

Great advice form me!!! since my BFN yesterday I've been cold as stone with occasional bouts of hysterical sobbing!!

Just sending you some love form a stranger who knows how it feels

x


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## jax (Dec 13, 2004)

Thanks to you all for replying, this site is really a lifeline at times. I've been to the clinic today and the doctor has said we should try again so its back to day 2 hormone tests and ultra-sounds to monitor my endo and try to get a good month to begin again. Right now the thought of going through it all again and facing more heartache is just dreadful but I know in time it'll get easier. thanks again and love to you all. xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hey Jax
Good luck to you honey, hope you manage to stay positive       
We are all routing for you
Love
Tracy


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## ♥ Sarah ♥ (Jan 5, 2005)

Hi Jax,

I have just read your post and my heart goes out to you  .  

It's only been 3 weeks since our BFN and have to say it's the hardest thing we've ever had to go through  .

I'm just trying to believe that our time will come chuck ~ your's will too     .

Hang in there

Love Sarah
xx


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## Mrs-GG (Feb 9, 2005)

Sending you some cyber hugs Jax. I hope after a few days that horrible hollow feeling so many of us know lifts and you can focus on your next plan.

very best wishes
Helen


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## emma49 (May 23, 2006)

Hi Jax,

A few days has past since your post.  I really hope your feeling better.

Sending you good vibes just in case...     

Know what you mean about the isolation.  I live in france and sometimes think that being here rather than in England makes things harder, but this is home and there are a million of good reasons to be here.

DH and I had our second BFN about a month ago and devastated is not the word.  But, it does get easier and life gones on.  Its cheesy but we just have to get up, dust ourselves off and start all over again.

Your sooooo right about FF, don't know what i'd do without it.

Good luck.  Keep going, you can do it !!!

Emma.


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