# On my own in this....



## mrsfrancois (Jan 25, 2015)

i recently got really excited...I was late on my period. 
i found out early last year that i couldn't conceive naturally that i had damaged tubes it was a shock to think that i couldn't have a children. I was advised to try and go down the IVF route they told me that i could have my first go on the NHS....i later was told that i couldn't because my husband already had a child therefore i wasn't entitle (disgusting on the NHS's part when giving implants to just anyone but a true problem isn't recognised) 
Me and my husband talked about IVF and have decided to take that route we are saving for our house and then we are going to go through IVF. in the meantime I can't help but hope every month that a miracle might happen.. i don't feel like i can talk to my husband about my monthly disappointments because he has a child. all my friends have children so I'm turning to this because i have never ever felt so alone... after 4 years of no contraception i feel heartbroken that the miracle i crave will take soo much more than i had ever anticipated!! will it ever happen :-(


----------



## mainey (Jan 24, 2015)

Hi lovely
You really aren't alone.  Its so heartbreaking to not have a baby when it should
Be the easiest thing in the world. Its harder when everywhere you look theres friends with babies.
I tried for three long soul destroying years to conceive and it didn't happen. We did go for ivf and it worked but 10 days ago I lost my beautiful daughter at 20wks 3days
So im back in your shoes. We can afford to just go for ivf gotta start saving.but were so lucky to stillhave the ooption.  I'm hoping we can pregnant now naturally but i doubt it. 
Its so hard hearing stop trying it will happen or just need to relax. 
People mean well but just don't get it. I pray you get your miracle and never give up hope ivf could work for you in the future xxxx

Mainey


----------



## mrsfrancois (Jan 25, 2015)

Hi mainey,

I'm so sorry for your loss... I can't imagine how that must feel to loose your baby after trying for so long!! Heartbreaking.
Hopefully it will work if you try again, can never loose hope..I haven't got to that point yet but  excited to try when we have saved for it, I have researched so much on ivf but still feel pretty clueless.
Where did you go for ivf? 
How does anyone over come the fact that they can't do it for them self..my husband doesn't truly understand the pain it can give as he has a child...I spend a lot of time around his son and find that makes it harder on myself and possibly him too.
I never really got support  once I was given the bad news I was left to deal with it. I think the nhs should offer more to help

People do say that the more you want it the less likely it is to happen and miracles do happen it feels like if they say that it will stop the AWKWARD conversation.

Thank you for your kind response it really helps speaking with out feeling that I'm burdening...instead there are other people out there who know how I feel deep down because they feel it too. Xxx

Mrs F


----------



## mainey (Jan 24, 2015)

I had my treatment in leeds. Been in the Isle of Man thats where they send us didn't have a choice but they were really nice. True people who have children could never understand the heart ache of wanting to be a mummy. Its something most people take for granted.  I really hope with all my heart you get your baby if you want to chat message me xxx


----------



## Offthewall (Apr 28, 2013)

Hi girls,

Hope you don't mnd me joining in but just wanted to say how sorry I am for you both.

You're in good hands here at Fertility Friends. Lots of people on here, including myself are going though the same as you. I've been trying to conceive no. 1 for years now and have endured numerous miscarriages and chemical pregnancies.

Feel free to rant and get things off your chest. It is very cathartic and as MrsFrancois said, it's great to offload instead of keeping things pent up inside.

Hugs to you both and let's hope we're all successful this year  

OFT x


----------



## HazelW (Mar 6, 2009)

You're not on your own. We tried for 9 years before DH admitted there was an issue and we had our first cycle. We're so fortunate that we're in the position we are today, but I'll never forget that ache, or the tears when my SIL said she was pregnant with her first. And her second. And her third, actually! Big hugs to you.

Mainey, I'm so sorry to read of the loss of your baby Willow. That's my daughter's name and everyone comments what a lovely name it is. Xxxx


----------

