# Do you think surrogacy is my next step?



## keeks (Jan 31, 2007)

Hi All,   

I have just finished my 4th IVF with yet another BFN.  I had IVIG, gestone, steroids, heparin etcc the works and I still cant make it to the test date. (which would have been friday.)   

My question is that as surrogacy would be our second choice if the IVF fails is it time to move onto it now?

I don't get a good amount of eggs so never have enough to freeze which means each tx is a fresh cycle and a £6000 a pop we will have to re-mortgage the house for our next tx whatever it is.

Am I destined never to get pg? Is it time to move to surrogacy?  Also I don't have anyone who I know who would be a surrogate for me so how do you meet potential surrogates?

Keeks xxx


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hi Keeks,
So sorry to hear of your BFN's, I was TTC wheh diagnosed with wonmb cancer, and have just had our first FET with our lovely surro mum, we got a BFP but sadly miscarried at 5w2d, I know the heartbreak you are going through and can only say that surogacy can and does work, it is still expensive as IVF is still required and there are suroogate expenses to pay and you could still get a BFN, but whatever you decide to do I wish you well. There are some fantastic surrogate sites out there that provide support and information, I myself am a member of www.surrogacyuk.org, I would suggest you read lots and find out as much information as possible about surrogacy. We have 10 embies left now 5 more goes in theory, but this whole infertility thing is one big roll fo a dice, all we can do is try and nevr lose hope.
Sam 
xx

/links


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## julieh (Oct 4, 2007)

Hi We used a service in the UK called ****************** who found us a surrogate in eight weeks , and we are now pregnant with twins so it has taken us less than six months to get here , our tummy mummy is an amazing girl and we have been lucky with her .
cost wise it has been not to bad and we think the total costs will be around £30K which after having had four cycles of IVF one with an egg donor is a better way of doing things .

anyway just wanted to help try the same service they have been amazing.  see how you get on good luck 


julie


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## OD2 (Oct 1, 2007)

Wow, Julie, congratulations - you must be over the moon.  I hope the pregnancy runs perfectly smoothly for you.

I hope this doen't come across negatively, but I do feel that I should warn others on the board that from a quick read of the site you mention, it seems that their approach could fall outside the law, so proceed with caution. It's not legal in this country for an organisation to facilitate arrangements between a surrogate and IPs, which is why SUK is more of a social club/support network and people make their own decisions about whether to work together.  £30k also sounds like an awful lot of money - again, legally surrogates aren't allowed to be paid anything other than expenses (an upper limit of £10k was set about 20 years ago - our surro's expenses are a lot less than that) and an organisation isn't allowed to profit from the arrangement so I do wonder where all your money has gone.  Take care with the court reporter when it comes to do your parental order because this might set off alarm bells for them - they need to satisfy themselves that payment hasn't been made, so encourage your surro to keep all her receipts to document her expenses.

Anyway, enough of my doom and gloom - congratulations and enjoy getting your lovely nursery together!

F


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## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

I would recommend you read all you can on Surrogacy UK's website. http://www.surrogacyuk.org/cgi-bin4/default.asp

I chose SUK because they have the same values as I do re surrogacy and I have made some great friends through their social gatherings 

Most surrogates expenses are around 10k but they can be more than that, especially if the surrogate herself is working and needs time off work etc... SUK have a fee to IPs which is to cover their own expenses of meeting surrogates/police checks etc etc... It is a non-profit making organisation.

If you have a straight surrogate then obviously you will not have to pay for expensive IVF cycles but if you would like to use your own embryos with a host surrogate then you will obviously have IVF fees on top of the surrogates expenses.

Surrogacy can be a fantastic and rewarding journey for both IP and surrogate however, be very careful when you choose an organisation to go with 

All the best of luck 

xx


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