# Having a bad day



## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Tired of having AF for months now .. I have an appointment at the hospital next week and I know that I need to ask them for treatment that will bring an end to all my chances of ever having a baby, although realistically that is so low anyway... I have been so positive about going for adoption and I sat here tonight with a vision of me waking up after this treatment devastated and it makes me so sad   ..but I know that adopting is the most positive move for me  ..and I know this treatment will bring back my quality of life as I feel so tired and dragged down as I have had AF since about Christmas now with a few days break..even on progesterone I am still bleeding..so that makes me want it sorted out ..I guess it is just a grieving process .. someone suggested counselling but I have had counselling and I think it is just something that I must get my head round..sometimes it is just so hard and here is the only place I can express these feelings..    does anyone feel that if they could see into the future and could see there was absolutely no chance of getting pregnant then they would make peace with it easier ? it would be great to have a crystal ball wouldn't it! anyway rant over .. I am off to bed now to watch some rubbish tv and forget about it for a while..

Big   to everyone here in need of one 
Cat x


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## Angel Child (Apr 22, 2008)

Hi Cat,

I am a newbie, and not very good at writing on boards, but it sounds like you are having a really tough time at the moment so I just want to send you big hugs  . I don't really know what to advise you and I am sorry that you are so sad. In answer to your question, I have often thought it would be easier if there was absolutely no hope of a pg, as I think that the hope prolongs the grief, but in reality it is a very difficult decision. It is an awful thing to go through, but maybe you could consider what is best for your health - both physical and mental and weigh it up. I am really sorry that I can't be more help and I wish I had a crystal ball or a magic wand to make things better for you. 
I have had so many ups and downs in my journey, and sometimes feel fine only to dissolve again a few days later, so going from feeling positive about going for adoption to being so sad again is very normal. I have adopted 2 siblings, yet here I am on these boards with my IF issues pulling me down again. Other people on these boards have helped me realise that we can't just turn our feelings off just because we decide to adopt, and with what you are going through it is hardly suprising that you feel so confused. I will be thinking of you next week at your appointment and hope it all works out for you. Just know that people on here care and will be thinking about you whatever you decide. 

More hugs   

Sorry, I seem to have waffled a bit, but I hope this makes sense and you get some comfort from what I am trying to say.

Angel
xx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Angel thanks hunny    I guess I thought I was doing so well but its not like that is it its continual ups and downs, its great that you have adopted siblings hunny  

Cat x


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Dear Cat,

I really respect you for being so brave in going for the treatment you need for your health while you know it will put anend to all those hopes we have for a miracle even though we know we are unlikely to have a birth child. I guess it may actually help you with the adoption process as it will show you are strong and realistic. So maybe it will lead to another kind of miracle for you? I hope so.

Lov, Jq xxx


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## albi (Dec 24, 2005)

Hi Cat

I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you.

I too sometimes think that if there was no chance it may be eaiser to move on, than having that bit of hope that makes you risk your health, sanity, financial security and peace of mind for that chance to have a longed for baby.

It's a tough road and my heart goes out to you.

Take care love Alison


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Well booked in for op next thursday they agreed that I have been bleeding for too long, but said that they are going to keep an open mind about what they will find and will not do anything dramatic unless they have to - but hopefully it will shed some light on things and if nothing else make life a bit easier .. sick of the sight of sanitary protection now...thanks for your messages they mean a lot   
Cat x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Cat.... my heart goes out to you.... massively gentle   to you hon

Love
Emcee xxx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Ahhh thanks hunny


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you on Thursday and wish you the best of luck.  

Jx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Thanks .. I am not worrying at the moment but no doubt on thursday I will be terrified ..   but hopefully it will shed light on things if nothing else


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Dearest Cat (with the cutest pic of the fluffiest little hairy person I have seen in a very long while)!
I just want to send you my love, support and very best wishes for next Thursday. I know you have travelled a long path, one that most don't have to travel, and I am really sorry that you are facing surgery. 
Sending you much love, a virtual book to read whilst you are recuperating, a big bunch of grapes and wishing you a speedy recovery!
Even more of the giant squeezy   coming at you...
Emcee xxx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Emcee thanks hunny ..guess what I did the starving ..got myself psyched up and everything got down there and surprise surprise they cancelled it ..so I was so frustrated I had to come into work to give myself something to keep my mind occupied   so no further on and might have to wait up to 28 days to get a new appointment .. so got to take each day as it comes again and just hope for a speedy appointment.  I did ring the waiting list lady straight away and appealed for a speedy one as just need to get sorted out one way or another now..

I love the idea of a virtual book and a big bunch of grapes   thanks hunny you are so lovely  
Cat x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Argh! I can't believe they cancelled on you! What numptys!  
I sincerely hope you don't have to wait too long... its not good waiting for surgery at any time hon, you have my sympathy!
Love
Emcee x


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

How frustrating!! Cancelling you like that. Once again life in limbo - I can so understand that feeling. I'm sorry for all this hassle and sending you a big {{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} and prayers for an easy surgery and swift recovery.
Bernie xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

So sorry to hear how this is being dragged out for you. Not what you need at all. Still here to support you, so keep in touch. love, Jq xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Poor you!  Especially having to do all the starving and everything before they told you it was cancelled!  Good luck with getting another appointment

Jx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Hi all ..Had op last tuesday, but didn't really find much out still waiting for biopsy results they found the odd polyp but nothing that they thought would have produced 5 months of severe bleeding, so they have said it may just have been a side effect of coming off clomid.. so back in limboland got to wait another few months for another appointment as they are so busy to reassess so really don't know what to do now as not found out any answers and not sure I am ready to give up .. wish I had a cystal ball ! Thanks for all your support my pc at home has died so only have limited access at work to pop on.. but think of you all x
Cat x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Cat... sorry to hear you're being left to wait even longer!
Am hoping you see this message at work - thank goodness its Friday, huh?
Big tight squeezy hugs to you  
Love
Emcee x


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Yay I did   off home now just doing half days whilst dizzy ..got to have more blood tests and follow up at GP next week may need more iron injections..fun fun fun.. 

Cat x


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Cat,

What a time you are having of it hun! You headed your first post "having a bad day" - well done for getting through so many difficult days with this. Why not plan a special treat for yourself? You deserve it!  

Jq xxx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Bleeding again for the last 2 weeks 2 days ..is this going to be the start of yet more months bleeding, Birthday tomorrow and I just feel so sad that its yet another year I have not achieved my dream, still anaemic, I look like a fat weeble but don't even know if they will let me do the Cambridge diet I am desperate to start because of being so anaemic .. all in all feeling pretty   

Big Hugs to everyone else  

Cat x


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Oh sweet Cat,

I am so sorry to hear how tough life is right now. You are a real honey - you have answered all the recent posts even though you are having such a difficult time. I hope you will be able to enjoy your birthday, its time you felt good.  

Much love,

Jq xxx


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