# Advice needed please



## dasher01 (Aug 12, 2010)

Hiya all, apologies if this is a subject that has already been discussed previously but I couldn't see it listed.  My partner and I are both fertile after having children in previous straight relationships but after being together for 8 years we would very much like to have a child together using a rather complicated procedure.  The advice we need is the name of this particular procedure it involves taking a viable egg from me and fertilising it using donated sperm and then inseminating it into my partner to carry.  I'm sorry if I have not used the correct jargon.  I know it would be a lot cheaper and easier to let my partner get pregnant via a donor but then I wouldn't be involved biologically and we already have children so I know what it's like a step parent, I want to feel my child growing inside my partner and know that together we created this life. I would really love to hear from anyone who has used this procedure before that can help us with clinics,costs and advice either through experiencing it themselves or through friends. Many thanks.x


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## Steph29 (Apr 28, 2009)

Hi Dasher01

We used the same method as you are explaining i think its just called egg sharing with your partner well thats what we call it any way. We had treatment at Londons Womens Clinic they were fantastic we started treatment last July and now have a beautiful little boy. My partner donated the egg and i carried him. Costs vary a little with clinics but we had to pay for 2 of everything so 2 consulations, 2 ivf/icsi it is very costly but it was the only way we wanted to do it to both be biological parents, you can choose to egg share with another recipeint then you get 1 treatment free but we chose not to do this. Hope this is helpful

Ema x


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## dasher01 (Aug 12, 2010)

Thank you so much for the reply Ema, Its wonderful to hear it was a success for you and your partner.  I looked into egg sharing and it only seems to refer to the procedure of donating any extra eggs to another couple so if anyone else knows the name of the procedure I am describing then please let me know, in the meantime I will contact the London womens clinic to book a consultation. Thank you once again Ema.x


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Hi Dasher - 

we wanted to do this too but the costs prohibited it. I just wanted to say (and as you can see from Emmas post that peoples experiences vary) but we had two cycles with the LWC and we would never use them again - we were completely ignorant when we started this and thought they were great but the longer the journey the more we have realised how much they do we dont agree with.

just my twopence worth but there are other clinics that would give you this treatment - just didn't want you to think the LWC was the only one of them.

L xx


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## nickidee (Sep 16, 2007)

I'm an old poster resurfacing, so apologies for the intrusion, but I would also shop around for your clinic. Look at success rates on the HFEA website and visit a couple of open days to get a feel for them. I have had treatment at LWC and the Lister - we went to LWC primarily due to availability of sperm but with the ease of importing sperm now, this should not really be a factor - particularly as LWC now charge £700 per cycle for sperm and are therefore no cheaper than importing your own from overseas.
Whilst I conceived my son throught IVF at LWC for which I am eternally grateful, I personally would not recommend them as our subsequent experiences there have been deplorable.
The procedure you describe is egg sharing with you as the donor. I know of a number of people who have done it, so it's not as uncommon as you may think and most clinics should be able to give you a good idea of costs.  
Good luck.
N


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Lwc sperm was £850 last time we were there. I have only recently found out that they don't match your donors cmv status there which is recommended by the hfea.

The lwc also have a lower threshold for accepting donor sperm for ivf because they basically tell everyone that it didn't defrost well so you need icsi (they're icsi rate is ove r90%) and they charge you am extra £750 for the icsi so it basically costs you £1600. I don't know anyone on here having treatment with them who didn't have icsi!! We just had our third cycle elsewhere with donor sperm had normal ivf and achieved 100% fertilisation shhowing it is not becaus ethe sperm is frozen... 

I am seriously considering complaining to the hfea abut their practices as we have now gt a copy of our notes and it makes for interesting Reading. 

I can pm you the details of our clinic if you like, they had a wider selection of sperm donors even though the lwc claim to be the biggest.

Regards pt x


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## nickidee (Sep 16, 2007)

Pinktink said:


> Lwc sperm was £850 last time we were there. I have only recently found out that they don't match your donors cmv status there which is recommended by the hfea.
> 
> The lwc also have a lower threshold for accepting donor sperm for ivf because they basically tell everyone that it didn't defrost well so you need icsi (they're icsi rate is ove r90%) and they charge you am extra £750 for the icsi so it basically costs you £1600. I don't know anyone on here having treatment with them who didn't have icsi!! We just had our third cycle elsewhere with donor sperm had normal ivf and achieved 100% fertilisation shhowing it is not becaus ethe sperm is frozen...
> 
> ...


Hi Pinktink
Did you just write to LWC to get hold of your notes?
Cheers
N


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Yeah but you have to pay for them 

worth it though xx


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## nickidee (Sep 16, 2007)

In my experience, you have to pay with drawing breath at LWC   
How much did they charge?


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Tell me about it.

The official charge is £40 but I objected to this as you have rights to your notes and the fee is for photocopyig for which I think £40 is a touch harsh!!

Anyway the receptionist ended up charging us £10 I think as she was always nice to us and I was being a pain in their reception at the time lol

l x


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## Belbs (Aug 3, 2009)

Hi Dasher,

My partner and I also used this method and LWC. The costs are based on being an egg share recipient which includes scans, medication and ivf for both of you.  At LWC this is currently £5650. You then need the sperm £850 and as PT mentioned they always recommend ICSI an extra £750. You will need to have the initial consultation and tests too. It took us 4 cycles to get pregnant so the costs certainly mounted up. We also had bad experiences at LWC - our 3rd cycle was a nightmare and they then gave us compensation towards our last go which was thankfully successful! We are planning on having another child and are undecided whether to use LWC but our donor sperm and little frosties are stored there.

It sounds like PinkTink have had a really postitive cycle at their new clinic so I think it would be worth checking our their clinic and going to some open eveings to get an insight to the different clinics. This is something we didn't do - we just knew LWC were lesbian friendly, had lots of sperm and their success rates looked good but with hindsight I would visit the clinics.

Good luck.     

Belbs xxx


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## dasher01 (Aug 12, 2010)

Thank you everyone, the replies have certainly been very helpful.  We are open to any clinics details please, we only mentioned LWC as its seems to be the main one advertised but we had also heard similar stories about them. Does anyone know if our treatment would differ at all seeing as we are both still fertile?  We had children previously the conventional way whilst married and have been told our fertility is still viable so wouldn't need assistance stimulating ovulation if that makes sense? I would welcome any private messages about clinics and it would be very helpful if someone could perhaps message me the process from start to finish please as we are very naive about all this! When it comes to babies we are both very experienced but this process is very new to us. Congratulations on the successes being blessed with a baby is a truly wonderful thing, our children range from 14 - 7 and are all boys and they love being raised by 2 women, they are already turning into respectful young men!


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Hi dasher, 

The main problem with wanting to carry each others eggs is that you would need to do ivf as the eggs need to be physically remiss from one of you and put in The other and ivf is the only way to do this. Obviously being fertile women with only a lack of sperm there are oher options but pu wouldn't be able to sure eggs.

I will send you a pm about our clinic - I cannot recommend hem highly enough!

Lynn x


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Hope it's Ok to butt in. My friend donated eggs to me and we had IVf at SEFC in Tunbridge Wells. They charged us for one IVF plus a monitored cycle, which seemed fair (one EC and one Et after all) and I think this is much cheaper than many other places for a "known egg donor" situation which is basically what you're talking of... if they still charge that way and can treat with donor sperm also

Good luck


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## dasher01 (Aug 12, 2010)

Thanks drownedgirl, I welcome advice and clinic names from anyone please, the more the merrier, hopefully one will be able to help us.  We are rather concerned that some of the places we've looked at have an upper limit of 36yrs as I am 37 and my partner is 36 but I think from the wording this refers to the discount offered if we donate any unused eggs which I am unsure of anyway.


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## nickidee (Sep 16, 2007)

The age limit won't effect you - as you rightly guess, it is to do with where the person donating the eggs is having the IVF cycle free in light of her donating half her eggs to someone she does not know. 
I would add that whilst you and your partner have both had children before, I would not assume that you are still fertile in light of your ages as fertility drops in your 30's and at an accelerated rate in your late 30's. This does not mean that you won't be able to conceive, but it does mean that IVF may be the obvious route. That said, as pointed out before, you would need IVF anyway if one of you is to carry the others eggs.
Finally, do not be persuaded to go to your nearest clinic. Check out success rates for egg sharing on a number of clinics that you could travel to - say within an hour and a half of where you live. And double check the number of days the clinic is open. Do NOT be persuaded to go to a clinic that is only open a few days a week as this will mean that you may end up havig EC & ET on days that are not appropriate to your individual IVF cycle.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

the age limit is for donating to the clinic's egg recipients, if it is for your partner (some have donated to sisters etc) they allow you to be older.
L x


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