# concerns about our son



## Val 12 (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi all sorry I haven't posted forever but had some pc probs and am just so busy with Sunny that i'm worn out. I need some advice. Sunny has been with us since October and he's a little peach and we love him to bits. He was meeting all his milestones when he came to u s but due to problems during his birthmum's pg he may develop some problems in the future.

I don't know if i'm just being paranoid or just looking for problems but i'm getting really concerned about Sunny's behaviour now. He is 2 in May but doesn't really talk. He says mam and dad sometimes but otherwise just babbles on in his own little language. He doesn't sit and play with toys or enjoys being read to. He just throws toys about and runs from 1 toy to another and throws them all over the place. He also mouths everything. I try to sit and play with him and read to him all the time but he just becomes frustrated and starts screaming. He had also destroyed a lot of his toys and ripped a lot of his books.
He'll often start screaming and throw himself on the floor for no apparent reason and he often groans in a really low voice. I take him to toddler group twice a week and other people have noticed his behaviour now. He won't play with anything, he just runs around screaming and shouting and won't sit when they are doing stories or nursery rhymes. He just runs around shouting and I can see the other mothers tut tutting about him. I dread taking him sometimes but I do it for him to try and help him mix with other kids and also to get us out of the house because he'd just trash it otherwise.

I know a lot of his behaviour is normal toddler behaviour but some of it is not. Perhaps i've read too many books so that is concerning me but I just 'feel' that something isn't right. My dd was an active toddler, into everything but I don't recall being concerned like this.

Sunny's not sleeping well now and wakes often during the night and is awake by 5.30 most mornings. I'm worn out but I love him to bits and he is very loving and enjoys cuddles. I've spoke to the health visitor who will do his 2 year check next week and will refer him on if he has any concerns. 
The SW is calling tomorrow for a review and I don't know what to say to her. Everything we say to the SW is written down and I don't want that to be interpretted as us not coping with him because that couldn't be any further from the truth. We adore him and he is our son, I just feel I don't just want us to be left to cope on our own if Sunny does have any future problems. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, what should I say tomorrow?
Val


----------



## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hi Val

So sorry that I didnt get to post yesturday. How did things go today?

Jxx


----------



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Val

Change affects adopted children in so many different ways.  It is still early days of Sunny being with your family and it will take him time to adjust.  Also children of his age who have experienced change find it hard to articulate how they feel.  I don't know the circumstances of why Sunny came into care but there are tools and techniques that can help.

One of the things that may help is therapeutic parenting.  It may be worth looking into this in the context of Sunny's circumstances to determine if it would be of use.  A cautionary note on the literature though is that it does normally portray severe cases.

It may be worth insisting on a referral just for your piece of mind.

Good luck
Karen x


----------

