# Kerry's Story



## Kewoo (Dec 6, 2011)

Hi all, this is my (our story)

Myself and DH met when we were both 18 years old working on a holiday camp miles away from our home towns.  Within 2 days we knew we were head over heals in love and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.  We moved back and forth between each others home towns (200 miles apart) for a few years and after 2 years started to experience pains.

I paid a visit to my GP where I was diagnosed with IBS and treated for it.  The pain however still continued and on some occassions was so unbearable I couldn't move.  A few weeks before my 21st birthday I went into hospital for a lap and dye test and when I awoke to excruciating pain I was told you have blocked tubes and your chances of conceiving are slim to none.  I remember that day like it was yesterday, it was so impersonal and my whole world was shattered.  My Mom collected me to take me home as I could not face my DH (BF at the time).  I felt like I had let him down etc.  Because I had been told I could not conceive it made me all the more determined to have a baby and we started on the IVF route.

We were living in my home town at the time and we put our name on the waiting list for IVF treatment.  This again set us back but there was nothing we could do about it.  Things were tough for us and we parted.  DH moved back to his home town and we didn't speak for a month or 2.  We then realised that we couldn't live without each other and started to make the 200 mile trip each weekend to visit each other.  We decided that for us to make it work we would save and I would move to his home town.  Whilst we were saving and visiting etc I got a letter from the hospital to say we were now top of the list.  Our appointment was for 25th Septmember (DH Birthday) I called him to tell him and he did probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do.  He told me he would not come back and I needed to tell the hospital we no longer wished to go through with it.  Again this shattered my world BUT I understood his reasons.

After 10 months of saving we finally had enough money for me to move to DH home town and we found a place to live.  Once we were settled we planned our marriage and said our vows in 2002.  We were then ready to go back to the doctors to see if we could be put on the NHS waiting list for tx.  Again we were advised this could be a 3 year waiting list but we had no choice.  In the meantime DH was tested and found that he had low sperm count.  He was devastated but I think he felt relieved that it was also his problem too now and not just me.  

In 2004 we had the phone call to start tx and spent many visits to and from hospital collecting needles and potions etc.  I was sooo scared of needles and remember I was going on a girly weekend and had to inject myself.  I stood for an hour tears streaming down my face with the needle next to my tummy, after I finally plucked up the courage I felt sooo silly cos it didn't hurt.  It all seems a blur now (I tend to block out bad things in my life) but I remeber being told we had really good embryos and remained really positive.  After our 2ww the day before I was to do the test I started cramping and new all our dreams were gone, true enough AF arrived later that day.  I was destroyed.  We knew we couldn't pay for further tx so we looked at all other options.  When we had our follow up appointment we were so set on egg sharign and were really excited, when we were in the room having our discussion another blow came when the doctor sadi well actually your eggs are no good (why were we told they were)?  So that was that it was all over.  So.... we were left empty, I remember blaming DH for everything and it was a really tough tough time.  DH got me a chocolate lab to try to take away some of the hurt and I showered all my love into our new fur baby Oscar.  I was still so desperate to become a Mommy so we applied to adopt.

The SW visited us and at the end of the meeting she recomended that we waited, we were in rented accomodation, had only mis carried 2 months previously and had a new puppy.  I look back now and think god what were we thinking.  I guess we were just so bereaved.

So..... we got on with life and tried to live it after all the years of trying and the heartache.  The follwoing year in 2006 was my Mom's 60th birthday, we held a surprise party for her and when we got home my DH said sit down I need to tell you something.  He announced to me that my 17 year old niece was preganant, everyone knew but it was sooo soon after our mis carriage that no one would dare tell me.  I was heartbroken.  I called my niece shouted and screamed at her and she just creid on the phone, i will never forget that.  Anyway my gorgeous Great nephew was born in Movember 2006 a month premature weighing 5lb 6ozs.  We went to my home town to visit and I immediately fell in love with this dear littel boy, he was 5 weeks old.

Things weren't good for my niece, she was in a violent relationship, drug and alcohol mis use and things were pretty bad.  When my Great Nephew was 4 months old he was taken into care.  The day I found out I called Social Services and said IF this little boy needed someone to care for him myself and DH would do that as we wanted to keep him safe.  In April 2007 we hadn't heard anything so I called to see what was happening, all the time I was getting regular info from my Mother.  Social Services advised they could not discuss the case as my niece was then 18 and it was up to her to tell us.  It was left with well if you need us were here.  

Out of the blue in October 2007 we had a phonecall from a SW to say we need somewhere permanent for baby could we pay you a visit.  We obviously agreed.  When they visited I think they were shocked at how different we are compared to my niece and her mother (my sister) we own our own home we both have good jobs and we have a good way of life with nice things.  I think they were genuinely shocked at the difference.  Anyway they advised that baby had severe developmental problems etc and he may even be autistic, we said we didn't care as long as we could have him with family.  The visit went really well and in November my Great nephew turned 1, none of his family were with him on his 1st birthday but he had a fab time with FC.  Just before Xmas 2007 we had a phonecall from SW and she advised plan for little one is now adoption, we had to think if it's what we wanted with no conatct for birth parents or maternal grand parents.  Christmas came and went and we decided it was something we still wanted to go ahead with.

In February 2008 we went to meet little one for the first time.  The weather was horrendous and the road to FC's house was blocked and the police would not let us through.  We were devestated.  We drove the 200 mile journey home and I cried all the way.  A couple of weeks later we made the journey again and we finally saw this dear little boy, I remember what he was wearing, what the weather was like and I ran to him when he was snuggled into FC.  We spent an hour with him and again I cried all the way home.  Can you fall in love with children?  Cos I did this day.  My song to him is "First time ever I saw your face".

Well to cut a long story short there were court meetings after court meetings and 4 months of 400 mile round trips to see him every weekend and buckets of tears shed there and back every week, he came home for a visit May bank holiday weekend 2008 and he stayed he was 18 months old had just started walking and his first words were Da da to my DH.  It was a big shock to our world after 11 years together on our own but it was right.  Social service advised that there was a wait to start the adoption process and it kept getting out further and further back.  We think because they knew he was safe with us they didn't push.  So after a year in May 2009 we applied to adopt ourselves as he had been paced with us as his relative carers for 1 year.  They accepted.  March 18th 2010 we went to our local family court and the 3 judges concluded that myself DH and DS would be a forever family.  it was the happiest day of our lives, words cannot explain.  He's just turned 5 in November, is finding his feet, his likes dislikes and is the most amazing son in the whole entire world.  Our bond is sooooo strong and will never be broken.  There's not a day goes by without him saying Mommy, I love you.  He had his first nativity play today and he saw me in the audience and blew me kisses, he melted my heart.  

Our DS is ALL we ever wanted and he completes us, I know now that all the heartache and pain was for a reason.  Someone had greater expectations of us in life and we were put on this earth to be Mommy and Daddy to this little boy.

I hope that everyone can experience the love and the completness we have, this whole infertility life is hard and cruel but there is light at the end of the tunnel for everyone, it's hard to see at times but we got there and life is fantastic.

Thank you for reading my story, sorry it was sooo long.

Kerry, Mark and Joshua xx


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## cookies81 (Aug 24, 2009)

Thank you for sharing     best of luck for your sweet family


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

Wow...what an amazing story  . You have a very lucky, clearly very loved little boy!

Enjoy the rest of your lives together


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

what a lovely heart warming story. It seems it was just meant to be, many Congratulations.


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## Fidub (Jan 9, 2012)

That is just beautiful, the tears are streaming down my face. Lots of live to you and your perfect little family. Xxx


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## Abeauty (Aug 16, 2011)

What a beautiful story! Best of luck to you all
X


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## galprincess (Nov 12, 2007)

What a tear jerker for all the right reasons you may feel lucky to have him but he is so lucky to have a mummy and daddy that love him care for him and give him the safety and security every child deserves i wish you a shining and ridiculously happy future xxxx


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

What along path you all been on but wow what agreat ending xx


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

What an encouraging story. Thanks for sharing x


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

thanks for telling your story.
xx


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## Bubalu (Jun 30, 2012)

Wow! Thank you for sharing. What a beautiful story


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