# size of bedroom



## babybiggles73 (Feb 15, 2010)

Just curious, we have a birth daughter who has a large bedroom and we have a full size bed and a wardrobe in the "box" room. The social worker has just visited and said a la may see the room as being too small for a child to be placed in and would our daughter move in there and leave the large bedroom for the adopted child to use..... has anyone else had this and is this normal


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Our new daughter will be in a room that is no more than a box room, it will have a full size bed and a wardrobe in but no room for anything else, neither our SW or her SW have seen this as a problem, there is no way I would move our son out of his room.


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## babybiggles73 (Feb 15, 2010)

Thanks mini moo x x


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## Loopylou41 (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi,

We have a similar situation where our spare room is the box room. Room for a bed and side cupboard and luckily has small built in wardrobe. We told SW we are converting garage to free up a medium sized bedroom that DP uses as a gym. She said the opposite to your SW, she said adopted children like small bedrooms best so the box room was ideal.

I remember as a child we had 2 spare rooms and when I was younger I chose the smaller room but at teenage years, the larger one.

To be honest, as long as you have room for a child to play in the house I don't see how it matters. Surely the fact you are providing a loving home is more important.

Also, you are like us in that you have a birth child to consider, I think it would be unfair to ask them to move rooms. The thing to bear in mind, woiukd you do that if you had another birth child, probably not.

Xxx


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

sounds silly to me -as long as they have a room to themselves there's no reason it needs to be the bigger one!
Besides there are lots of space saving solutions to make the most out of box rooms.


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## babybiggles73 (Feb 15, 2010)

In the boxroom we have a full size bed, chest of drawers and a wardrobe with loads of space. There isnt alot of floor space but I would expect the new child to play downstairs and not in their bedroom.


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

What we have done is ordered a mid sleeper bed so that there is storage room for toys and things underneath. We did the same when our son came home, just that his is a fancy one that cost a fortune but we were disappointed when it was up as it had very small cupboards with a great big wasted space behind, hence this time we have just gone for the frame and have got a princess castle curtain to go round the base of the bed.


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

That is crazy. We live in a small 2 bed flat bubba room is 6" 9 square. Our sw never had an issue with our home. It came up at panel as we don't really have a garden and asked what we would do. Lucky I had thought this might come up and had an answer ready.


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## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

i think too many sw have too many opinions, and its your house you do what you want as long as she has a bedroom, does it matter. 
We had similar thing, we have 3 bed house, We have 2 rooms to choose, and have set up the largest room as the new childs room, our sw said our box room would be better. I beg to differ.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Our LO will be in our box room. We've set it up as a nursery and then either just before he starts school, or if we adopt again (which ever is soonest) we'll do up the middle room for him.

None of our SWs had an issue and for this SW to suggest moving your child out of their room for the new child is just plain stupid!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

We were also told that the room we were giving to BB might be too big as he might not feel secure, I think it's daft to consider a box room too small and expect your daughter to move into it.  Families all over the world make do with one normal sized room and a box room for their kids and the youngest lumps it until the oldest moves out.    They seem to be being a bit too picky to my mind.  Hope you get it sorted xx


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## babybiggles73 (Feb 15, 2010)

Thanks for the comments everyone. I feel like the sw is just trying to find things to put in our PAR as the rest of our visits have been so straight forward.


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

We've given LO the largest bedroom as it will also house most of her toys.

My wife and I were both of the oppinion that as we both suffered the box room when we were kids, we would give our LO the biggest.

When we have the next one, they'll naturally be smaller and thus they can have the box room - but play in their big sister's room (until the fighting starts   ).


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I think this will be a big adjustment for your daughter as it is, having to suddenly share mummy and daddy and cope with a sibling in her home. For her to have to give up her bedroom too is really unfair and asking for trouble in my opinion. Fight your corner and masses of luck


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

-x-Lolly-x- said:


> I think this will be a big adjustment for your daughter as it is, having to suddenly share mummy and daddy and cope with a sibling in her home. For her to have to give up her bedroom too is really unfair and asking for trouble in my opinion. Fight your corner and masses of luck


Absolutely! Well said Lolly. x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

It's completely normal for the oldest kid to have the biggest room, that's just the way families work.  Kicking your daughter out her room is not the way to get a sibling relationship off to a good start.  Also, just not necessary.  I very much doubt many young children have massive rooms in f/c, so it's not like they're used to it.  Also, in the early days your l/o is not going to be playing alone in her room much if at all.  He or she will be with you.  If you're sw really makes an issue out of it you could always tell them you're planning to move somewhere bigger when l/o is old enough to need more space and has had time to settle.  Wyxling had our small room until Bladelet was due, then we moved her to the big one.  In f/c Wyxling was in a box room also used for storage, and Bladelet was in the f/c's room.  Neither if them needed a big room.  

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi Babybigles.

I agree with the others and thinking about this as it seems odd from the SW. I was wondering if the SW was trying to see if how you would respond re your birth child. I'm not saying this is the case but I've been pondering and know done try to catch you out slightly (almost to weed out any folks who try to give the "right" answer through HS rather than their true feelings). If the SW was trying to see if you would treat your birth child differently or be overly protective.

I think the responses above more than cover how to respond and agree your birth child has a lot to cope with all the changes.

Good luck x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Freaking ridiculous.  I can think of no reason why an adopted child needs a 'large' room, and moving your birth child is a sure way to start the relationship off on a resentful footing.  Our Bug's room at his foster carer's only had room for his baby sized cot to fit in it along the wall, and was a square room that size.  There were a couple of worries about moving him to our bigger room at home, but he's managed.  If we go again, we'd be using my 'office' which only has room for a narrow bed and a chest of drawers.  Our SW at the time saw no problems with it.  Good luck!


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## jitterbug (Nov 22, 2006)

Our daughter (placed 2 years ago) had a tiny room (6' x 9') it was our 'box room'. The other spare room was already in use as a guest bedroom and it was larger (a double). Our SW never had an issue with it. She said lots of children find large rooms scary and ours was perfect for a cotbed, wardrobe and small bookcase.

Our daughter loved it!

When her brother was placed a year later, he got the larger double and it's never been an issue and never spoken about or raised.

Honestly! Sometimes I think they have to 'invent' issues!

Good luck x


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