# 2nd failed ICSI



## twjp (Jan 27, 2014)

Sadly my wife and I found out this morning that our embryos hadn't reached the blastocyst stage so weren't suitable for the 5 day transfer.

We only got 2 fertilised this time in comparison to 5 with our first cycle in January. That was a 3 day single embryo transfer but the 4 they cultured to day 5 didn't make it to blastocyst either. At least something got out back that time though.

The fact that our embryos are not making it to this stage of development is deeply disheartening and makes me feel like this just might not be possible for us.

I have been trying to stay optimistic for my wife's sake but to be honest we don't seem to be getting many eggs fertilised during cycles and those that are just aren't viable.

Fair amount of soul searching required before we decide on our next move.

I worry about my wife as I am sure you are all aware of the toll this treatment takes on a woman's body in addition to the emotional turmoil.  As upset as I it's got to be 100 times worse for her.

Best of luck to the rest of you with any current/upcoming treatment cycles.


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

So sorry to read this.

You should be allocated some counselling sessions as part of your treatment - they don't always mention it but call the clinic (probably the nursing team) and they can normally book it in for you.

Also, I think for now you need to cuddle up and help repair each other - physically and emotionally for both of you. Eat bad food, have a bottle of beer, watch stupid films, don't get dressed all weekend, have some nice walks and some pub grub. The future can wait a little while, book your review in but don't rule your life around the questions you will inevitably have. Sometimes it helps to write them down, put them in an envelope and then put them on a shelf - they will still be there whilst you go about doing some nice things together.  

Your wife is hurting, but so are you and sometimes "watching" the pain is worse. Don't underestimate the power of just being together xxx


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## Vanilla Spice (Dec 27, 2007)

Hi twjp sorry to read but didn't want to run.

Have a read at this http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=283000.0 as wished I knew about it for help for review questioning after our failed cycles rather than putting our trust in the so called experts who would say "bad luck" and try again!

The karyotyping test especially rings a bell. GCRM can carry this out for you but will obviously charge or you can go to the Doctors Laboratory in London directly for the tests and save some money as GCRM will send your bloods to them anyways. Not sure if you can get this via NHS but worth asking. Hoping link will be helpful for you.

Hugs to you and DP. VS xx


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## twjp (Jan 27, 2014)

Thanks Cloudy & Vanilla Spice.

Yeah we went a big walk in to the hills for hours yesterday afternoon to clear our heads a bit.  We may consider counselling but are really focused on the follow up appointment at the moment.  

It would be great if they could tweak the protocol or something as we simply aren't getting a great number of eggs and, of the 7 successfully fertilised over 2 cycles, none have made it to that 5th day.  Our appointment on Monday is all a bit of a blur but the embryologist mentioned some things about "genomes" and chromosomes that can effect the development between the 3rd and 5th day.  It's so disappointing to have nice looking embryos on day 3 only for them to be hopeless 2 days later.

Agate's guide looks very interesting indeed.  There is a lot of reading in there so I will have a look with my wife tonight when I get home from work.  There is definitely something not right happening between the 3rd and 5th day so understanding what that is should be the next priority and then hopefully we can have a treatment cycle tailored exactly to my wife's needs in future.

All these drugs being pumped in to her worries me though.  She is my main concern at all times and the long term impact this could have emotionally and physically is concerning.


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## Stini (Apr 10, 2014)

My partner and I are in a similar situation - our first ICSI failed with only one embryo making it to (not great) blastie. Lots of soul searching happening here too. No answers, just some fellow-feeling. 
Was wondering if there was a reason why you went from GCRM to Ninewells? We were at GCRM too and wouldn't necessarily go back (we have an NHS cycle FINALLY coming up now after a long time on the waiting list, but thinking about afterwards).


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