# adoption from bad to worse



## smithc (Jun 14, 2015)

we are not getting any where with the adoption after 3 years in the process it is starting to really get us down  is anyone eles like this


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## gettina (Apr 24, 2009)

Ah I'm sorry to read this. I hope this move forward for you soon. If you feel able to, maybe share a bit more of your story so people on here can support more specifically?
Good luck
Gettina


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Big hugs ((())))
We are a lovely lot on here. As gettina says - please join us so we help and support you through this tough time xx


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## smithc (Jun 14, 2015)

Hi 

Well are adoption story started three years after finding out we cannot have children and going though hell with IVF this did not work. Then we stared adoption process the assessment was hard it took 12 months and we got approved this went quite well really up to this point and they was confident in geeting us a child soon. Well the first child we looked at was a little girl from the south as we live in the north they said the distance was too far and are social work was of ill so they found an other couple, we put this down to bad look and was sad but felt OK. Then in October last year i been the man of the house went to look for are child as it was me letting my wife down with no child, anyway i found a girl in are own social work team and fell in love with from the start and my did too, we really loved this girl from the minute i saw her on the photo and vt she was mine the social worker of the child came to see us and said this was a good match. Then the next visit was with the child phsgoagist and she wanted my wife to have two years of work which is not possible  then to make matters worse they said they felt i didnot want this child are they nuts i wanted this child i rely thought i and my wife could give her a good start. This was October last year me and my wife had are heart riped out and we nearly split up and lost are marriage .

Take this year we got to the last two with two children and lost them , if social workers want people to adopt show some help or people like us will drop out of this process, the government need to look at this more because from where we are standing this process is a joke .


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## pyjamas (Jun 24, 2011)

We started the process in November 2012 and had our LO placed in April 2015. It was worth it but there was much frustration, tears ,heartache and despair!xx


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Sounds like you've had a really tough time smithc. Is your social worker helpful and supportive? What is their view on everything? 
Take care


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## smithc (Jun 14, 2015)

hi 

social worker not good at all never here anything and feel we have to push not good


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

I am up north too and we were linked with a child from as far away as is possible - we did however back out once we found out more info, just curious why your sw would think it was too far away? Surely they would be willing to let you travel the length and breadth of the country to find your perfect one?

It annoys me so much that there are such wildly varying differences from one area to another. Adoption needs to be made more streamlined and standardised.


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## alig1972 (May 12, 2011)

Hi 

Yes! 2 1/2 years later and not even approved yet. We got to panel with LA but then withdrew and took 6 months break. 
Started again with a VA and now in the complaints system, as they wouldn't take us to stage 2. They seem to focus on the negatives instead of all the positive things we could bring to a child. We are almost at the point of giving up but this has been our dream for so long. They have 28 days from last Friday to respond. We have asked to move onto stage 2 with a different SW, as then we would also have access to the IRM. 

Don't give up, it will be worth the wait...

Ali


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## smithc (Jun 14, 2015)

hi Ali 

please let me no how you get on they make you want to give up this system needs a big shake up instead of scratching around the surface


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## smithc (Jun 14, 2015)

hi nicola 30 

we dont really no they are on bugets she said but the process is starting to put us of we started with other couple they pulled out too


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