# Single Newbies Welcome Thread - post here to get started! - Part 3



## Sharry

Welcome! 

This thread is a starting point for anyone that wants to join us here on our Single Women's Board! 

It can be pretty daunting making that first post so this is an ideal place for it. You'll find a warm welcome awaiting you - we have a great bunch of people on here!


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## hereshoping

Smiling and wishing how did you get on? 
H x


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## smilingandwishing

Hi Hereshoping

Thank you for asking. I got a BFP - very very happy.

Now on the 3WW until first scan - have a feeling this going to be the way it is - always on a wait - not complaining though as I am over the moon.

Am having quite a few twinges and some AF type cramps, but no bleeding and from reading the threads it appears a number of women get this.

How are you Hereshoping?

SaW xx


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## hereshoping

Hi smillingandwishing,

Big congratulations to you then!!!!
Yes, always something to wait for with fertility. It will stay that way too. I counted down everything with my DD, and then of course when they arrive there are plenty of milestones to await!!
Twinges are usually ok yes, your womb has to set up its accommodation for the LO to grow in, and there will be a lot of blood flow and energy now focused on place. Hormones will be busy setting up  the  plug for your cervix too (yuck!) and stretching the womb a bit.
Keep us posted on how you get on. Im fine thanks. Im all set now for IUI abroad, I just need to pick a month when I can go. Im hanging on until July/Aug now because I really cant manage it sooner with my committments, and Im also worried abt the volcanic ash messing things up if I try to go in the next month or so- volcanos are another victim of mother nature lol.
H x


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## Fraggles

Hi

Singles meet ups are occasionally arranged - in London or in sort of Banbury, Oxford area for those based nationally.

We are planning on another in London in June and July for those close(ish) to London - if you are interested please follow attached link.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=236575.0;topicseen

F x


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## some1

Just a quick hello to newbies Bubble Love, Ice Queen and Regster - haven't heard from you for a while, how are you getting on?

Some1

xx


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## RichmondLass

Hi fraggles can you describe where the london meet up post is please? I can't link through on this blackberry and can't see it under the singles area. Rarely get a chance to go on the laptop these days due to mini slave driver cracking whip and when I do it doesn't work properly. Hello to all the newbies! Rlx


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## bingbong

rl, it's in the voting room. 

Big hug to G

Bingbong x


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## Fraggles

Hi RL

Sorry not replied sooner just seen your post. How is gorgeous mini slave driver.

Am thinking probably meet by the Thames again somewhere in central London unless anyone has alternate suggestions.

F x


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## sweet1

Been AWOL for a while and will be AWOL again next week up till I finally (hopefully) have tx in mid June so just popping on to catch up and say hi to everyone including all the newbies


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## hereshoping

HI all, I have been AWOL too, due to fact that am cooling my heels now waiting for the chance to get out to Brno!!
I also had a minor set back last week. I have been monitoring my cycle as some of you know, worrying that it is too irregular and too long to plan any foreign IUI, and so far it had been going fairly good. I even toyed with dashing out there this month. But on day 14 I suddendly got a medium to light AF (not really spotting) and no Ovulation pain, no signs and a negative OPK for days, af/heavy spotting been going on for 5days now (sorry if TMI) and so that's really odd. It feels like a AF to be honest.
Suppose I don't need to worry, if I ovulate in about 10days time and it goes back to normal, but hope its not the start of any probs, as if anything my cycles are 31 to 33 days not 14!!
Like I say, good job I hadnt booked of planned for any treatment this month, although maybe the clomid would have kicked all that into touch.
If anybody has any ideas on this by all means enlighten me!!
And no, no chance it can be an implantation bleed or other anomolly, as there has been no chance of that sort of thing!
H x


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## hereshoping

Wow Bingbong, just looked at your counter, he weeks really are flying by!!


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## morrigan

Hereshopping are you getting 21 day progesterone done to check that youve ovulated ok?


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## hereshoping

Hi Morrigan
No to be honest, as since I had the fertility scan in April (private) and they confirmed no fibroids, polyps and that I had just ovulated (it was day 17) and since I am already a mum with no probs the clinic said that would be enough. If things start to go erratic then I guess I will have to?
I was on dianette until Feb and in the past when I have come off it I got a lot of spotting for first few mths, but this is a while now and its worse than spotting. I have been having reflexology too, to try and get af into something nearer 28days rather than 30plus and something regular. Maybe she has ovedone it a bit!! I havent seen her for 2weeks because she is on hol, so when she comes back I will ask her about that.
Have to say Im a little worried, because I'll never be able to plan any tx abroad when I'm having cycles between 14days and 35days!! Will be a nervous wreck!!
H x


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## hereshoping

Ive often wondered whether one of my ovaries doesnt do its job, despite being a mum with no probs in the past.
This is because the only Ov pain I ever get is on my left side, and some months I dont get the pain at all (can't say I have ever paid as much attention as I do nowadays but I have noted it for years when not on  the pill) some months its the left side each time, and when I had the scan in April the ovary that had just been working was indeed the left, so this months should technically have been the right? And I got no pain, neg OPK and an af lol
Looks like my left one does all the work,sometimes taking an extra turn and the right one is on vacation!!


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## morrigan

It's just my gp did 21 day progesterone for me to check if im ovulating- nearly all my iui's have been planned last minute and I've been there and back in a day two- Ive always managed to get last minute flight some less than 6 hrs b4 departure - that makes getting time off easyier as you only have to explain away a couple of days/ organise home etc it wasn't anywhere as bad to plan as I thought it was when I was getting ready for my 1st and my cycles have done weird things everytime !


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## hereshoping

Thanks Morrigan, I think once I get my head around it I will be able to tackle the last minute rush. For me I have to work around my DD, job and two dogs lol so a regular cycle would be handy!!
I think that if things don't settle down before July then I will have to get some other tests done. It would be awful to get on a plane on CD13 or something with all looking good and then get there to have heavy spotting or a light AF start and then not be able to do IUI. Wouldnt want to do it then even if they said it was ok, because surely losing some of lining wouldnt be a good sign. 
I'm not going to get too stressed at the mo though.
H x


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## nessiem

Hi I'm new to this.  Single and just trying to psyche myself up for the first GonalF injection tonight.... doing IVF at the Lister.  Any tips??
Thanks!
nessiem


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## morrigan

Welcome nessiem - no tips I'm yet to try that delight but I'm sure the thought is worse than the reality - thinking of you if that's helps  good luck


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## nessiem

Hi all,
I'm new to IVF and this site.  Have just given myself my first injection of GonalF.  Took a long time to stab that sucker in...!! I'm doing this alone, so would love to hear from others in a similar situation.
Good luck all!
nessiem x
PS haven't worked out this site yet so apologies if I keep posting on the same board!  And thanks for the good wishes morrigan!


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## hereshoping

Welcome Nessiem. I too have not had to do that shot, but there will be people along who have 
H x


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## nessiem

Thanks H.  Actually, once I got on with it, it wasn't too bad... Only took about 35 minutes to psyche myself up (!)
x


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## morrigan

I wouldn't worry about posting - I still get mixed up what I've posted on which board- not been shouted at yet lol! there is a ivf thread on singles board and we all keep up to date with 2ww thread when u get there- I found the bit on front page of site that explained what all the abreviations mean !


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## some1

Welcome to the site Nessiem and wishing you loads of luck with your IVF!

You will find lots of support here, both on the single women's section and elsewhere - I thought I would point you in the direction of a few threads that you might find useful! You are very welcome to post on any of these - there may be conversations in mid flow but just jump in, we will make you very welcome!

Single women having IVF here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=233902.0

Single women on their two week wait here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=236689.0

General single womens thread - post about absolutely anything here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=234722.0

If you have any questions or queries not covered by the existing threads, feel free to start your own

If you have particularly in depth questions about IVF you may find the main site's IVF threads useful (http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=3.0)

Some1

xx


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## lulumead

Just wanted to pop on and say hello to Nessiem...good luck with the IVF - you'll be amazed at how quickly you get used to doing injections!   


xx


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## nessiem

Thanks some1, lulu - and everyone.  It's great to know there's so much support out there.

Have a great (hopefully sunny!) weekend everyone!

nessiem 
xx


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## kizzi79

Hi Nessiem

I'm doing a medicated IUI cycle so will be taking my 1st Gonal F injection tommorrow    (all my other cycles have been either natural (i.e. no meds) or tablets)

Hope you are doing OK.

The girls on here are all absolutely fab and have been such a support to me through treatment, if you ever have any questions or just want a chat we are all here for you   . 

Do you know how long you have till egg collection?

Love Krissi  xx


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## smilingandwishing

Hi Nessiem,

Congrats on starting treatment.  I'm single and also had treatment at the Lister - there's Lister Girls thread on here too.

Gosh the Gonal-F injection.  I think I'm quite a tough nut really, but I got myself into such a state the first time I had to inject that I cried and went to my mum's  It quickly became much easier though and I was stabbing away like a pro.

Some1 has posted you a lovely list of threads to try.  I'd def say joining a 2ww thread is really helpful. It's comforting to see many of us feel the same way and the level of support is amazing.

All the best, Smiling x


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## Minnie35

Welcome Nessiem, good luck with the IVF!


Minnie x


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## nessiem

Thanks for all the warm welcomes! 
*Krissi* - not sure when egg collection is. Have my first scan since starting stimming tomorrow morning. Guess I'll find out then how I'm reacting to drugs?! All I can say is that I'm not sleeping well and I think I can feel my ovaries - which is a first! 
Anyway, will keep you posted - it's very reassuring to know you're all out there!

xx


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## nessiem

Hello ladies,

Just found out I've got EC on Tuesday 15th.... It's all getting a bit real....

Do any of you belong to the DCN? 

Hope you're all doing well!
x


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## morrigan

How exciting for you- hope it goes well. 

I'm a member of dcn and get updates emailed by emily for singles group. I've not done any of the preparing for parenthood classes they run though.


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## nessiem

Hi Morrigan,

thanks for the response.  I've been trying to contact members of the new London singles group - LG4 - Emily put me in touch with them, but haven't heard back... Do you know anyone in that group?  I'd just like to meet up with others going through similar.  This site is fab, but typing and chatting aren't the same!

N


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## morrigan

I was in email contact with one but not heard from her in months and I was going to meet up with one of the girls before I had treatment who had had a LO but I had to canx due to tx dates and it didn't happen. Are you going to make it to London meet up? The list is not updated very often so it may be things have changed for people etc...


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## nessiem

Hi, yes, if I get sent details of London meet will definitely go!  Apparently there's a picnic on 26 June?  are you going?


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## morrigan

There's a link further up this thread to ff London meet to vote for date. I'm not brave enough for dcn picnic - I kind of assumed it would mainly peeps that are already mums.


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## smilingandwishing

Hello Ladies,

I'm in the same boat re DCN.  I've joined and get updates from Emily, but it doesn't feel as active as FF.  

There is a single womans meetup on 31st July in London. I'll def be going to that and have offered to help Fraggles organise.

I'm based in Central London and would  also love to meet up with women in the same position as me.  I'm now almost 9.5 weeks pregnant and so will be starting to tell people within the next 4/5 weeks.  I think I've got it sorted in my head. I intend to tell family and close friends the truth (my mum and sister know and have been lovely) but others I don't intend to tell as I don't think it is their business. It would be lovely to talk to others about what they say.

Smiling x


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## nessiem

Well Smiling and Morrigan - maybe we should start a break away DCN group! I'm in SW London, but work centrally, so a meet up in town would be great.  Let me know if you're up for it!
N x


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## Glitterintheair

Hello everyone, 

I'm just on here as recommended place to start!   This site has given me hope i've never had in the last 15 years, time for lots of   and   i know I can do this! Looking forward to chatting and getting to know you, Gem xx


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## smilingandwishing

Hey Nessien & Morrigan - I;d be up for a meet up.... doesn;t quite sound right but you know what I mean.  I'm off on hols on 24th June to 2nd July so after the would be good.

Glitterintheair - welcome. You'll find great support on FF - What's fantastic is that there are all kind sof women on her in all kinds of circumstances so you'll be able to find people you can relate to and everyone I have come across wishes the very best for others. It's a very special palce.

Smiling x


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## morrigan

Welcome gem glad you found us.

Re meeting up-
I'm more than happy to meet up when I can but I'm actually based in Essex but Londons a fairly simple train ride away- just message me to see if I'm free- my work pattern is erratic as I work.


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## caramac

Hello nessiem and gem!!!

I thought I'd just repost the link to the single meet up Fraggles has been organising that is taking place on Saturday 31st July in London: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=236575.0;topicseen

It would be lovely to see you there!


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## Fertilitychallenged

I guess this would be the place to start...

I began my struggle to become a family three years ago, after leaving a long-term partner who wasn't keen on starting a family. I am Swedish but since it's illegal to have fertilitytreatments in Sweden I started out in Denmark. 11 IUI's later i had to realize that this quest was not one I'd easily manage. I continued on to IVF this year, and have done 2 cycles. It turns out I am a poor responder and on top of that my embies don't divide optimal, even if they're somewhat within parameter. Even so, my last IVF gave me a beautiful plus, only to be lost a few days later. I still have two prepaid attempts to go, but I guess I am loosing a bit of hope every time. As another option I have scheduled an appointment with a polish clinic in order to be put on their waitinglist for embryo adoption. And since making the choice of at least investigating the option of using double donor, I've been browsing the net finding FF. And here I am


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## suitcase of dreams

Hello fertilitychallenged (might have to call you FC for short!), and welcome to our little (but ever expanding) group   

Sorry to hear it's been a tough journey so far - I can certainly empathise with that   
Anyway, do jump in and post anywhere you want to - there are threads for those having IVF, abroadies, and those using donor eggs - lots of others too but those would be good places to start   

Best of luck with your next attempt, 
Suitcase
x


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## RichmondLass

Hello FC there are a few of us on here who have had double donation or done embryo adoption so you'll find lots of support! RL x


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## some1

Welcome FC!  Glad you have found us, hope you find the support/information you need here.

Some1

xx


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## Glitterintheair

Hi FC  

I am new too but think I can welcome you! Hope you had a good weekend...Mine was very relaxed for once. Hope to meet up with you along the way sometime


Gem


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## Fraggles

Welcome FC, Glitter in the air, a bunch of singles are meeting somewhere in London on 31st July - let me know if you are keen.


F x


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## Fertilitychallenged

I'd be delighted too, but unfortunately I think I have to prioritize my visit to Poland this time (as I live in Sweden...) ;-) My economy won't hold for consultation in Poland, IVF in Denmark and a visit to London this month...

And thank you all so much for you welcoming me here - I'm so glad I found this page


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## Glitterintheair

Hi, 

It would be great to meet up with everyone   I will try and book the day off work xx


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## Elpida

I wasn't sure where to post after my hiatus from these boards, but although I've been lurking (mostly on the bumps and babes board) I will probably be a newbie to lots - my how we've grown!

I found the failed cycle in August last year really hard to cope with and was physically and emotionally exhausted, I had felt so run down for quite a while and there was obviously something amiss because of my lack of cycles. Luckily (not that this should rely on luck!) I managed to persuade a Dr at the thyroid clinic to refer me for more tests and I was referred to a reproductive endocrinologist. After months of tests it turns out that my pituitary gland is not working properly (although luckily not for scary reasons, just another part of my body that seems to be unable to function properly) and I have been on hrt since February which has made no end of difference. 

It's been the most frustrating year as I've not been able to move forward with TTC and I've had to manage the anger about all of this not being picked up sooner. I haven't been able to post on here as I found it so upsetting to be in the limbo I've been in, but I have thought of you all lots. As I said I have lurked on the Bumps and Babes board because I needed to see the positive stories to carry me through, I've not managed to keep up with everyone's journeys but you've been in my thoughts.

The hrt has improved my health, although it's a struggle trying to get the right dose, and were I not TTC it would be a different path and I would be pushing for a different dose, however there's hope that the increase in oestrogen will improve my egg quality and response to the next cycle (no wonder I felt so good when stimming - my body was screaming for the hormones!). 

There's also been a more recent delay because it seems I now qualify for funding for one cycle. You could've knocked me over with a feather when I heard this, not something I'd planned on or considered but as I know you can all imagine an absolute godsend. I heard this morning form the PCT and the clinic that it's all systems go. I should be able to start a cycle of short protocol IVF in the next few weeks.

I don't even want to send this, so scared of tempting fate. I've barely thought about the outcome, being hopeful or not, so much has been focused on actually doing something to TTC rather than waiting for test results and MRI's.

I'm off now to stock up on dairy products to boost those eggs, and cut back on the salty popcorn a little and the glasses of wine a lot! 

I will try and catch up with you all over the next weeks, I was never the best at personals and keeping track, but maybe the oestrogen will help my short term memory  

E x x


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## indekiwi

Esperanza, welcome back hun!    That's tremendous news about the free NHS cycle    .  I'm so pleased that one of us singlies have had a break through with this.  On the other side of things, I'm so sorry to read about your pituitary gland going missing in action.  At least it has now been identified and it's so good that you feel much better in yourself.  I want to wish you all the best with your next cycle of tx (naturally) and also to tell you I've missed hearing about your cake baking extravaganzas, poker nights and 'occasional' G&Ts on the week end thread.   


A-Mx


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## bingbong

Esperanza lovely to hear from you, I've been wondering where you were at with ttc. Sorry to hear about all the problems and stress but it's good that things have finally been sorted. Amazing news that you are being funded for a cycle    I thought that was impossible for singles so it's great to hear that it can happen. I really hope that you are posting on the bumps thread soon     

bingbong x


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## Elpida

Indy - thank you. My cake baking and gin drinking has been at the forefront of my ******** updates I can assure you, I've also added in growing my own veg, I'm sure as a way to try and nurture something (still have the cat but he is mostly asleep on the back of the sofa so requires little from me and is certainly not much of a help in keeping the birds off my crops). I'm sure I'll be updating on the weekend thread soon (although hopefully less on the gin side of things for a good few months!). Congratulations on your bump - such wonderful news - and not long to go now!


Bingbong - a double bump, double congrats !! The funding was a complete shock, and only came about because the reproductive endocrinologist was nhs and attached to a clinic. My pct have nothing in their documentation and criteria about single women being excluded, and didn't question it at all, I do wonder if this exclusion is perhaps now illegal. As my diagnosis renders me infertile, and cuts across the need to have been TTC naturally for how ever many years they require, I met all their criteria. The only one that might have been tricky was that you're not allowed more than two privately funded cycles, which is what I have had to date (although prior to current diagnosis). Which is probably what will scupper those of us with fertility difficulties who are single, if we only discover through treatment we may count ourselves out of funding. It's only because I was so physically unwell and pushed for  something to be done from that point of view that this all came about and I suppose I am 'lucky' that I had only had two goes before hand. 


I went for repeat screening bloods this afternoon and have everything crossed that CD1 arrives as expected next week. 


Right, off to water the plants


Ex


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## some1

Esperanza - so pleased that you are getting some funding, feeling better and have found a way forward treatment wise.  Fantastic news!

Some1

xx


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## cocochanel1

Hi Esperanza, welcome back. A few of us had been wondering how you were doing. Sorry to hear that you have been through so much this last year and really pleased for you that you are having a funded cycle and have a way forward.

Like Inde I too am looking forward to hearing all about your baking and crop growing antics.

Coco xxx


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## MittensWales

Hello all
I'm a singleton from Cardiff.  I've been on the path for about 18 months so far.  I did 4 IUI cycles and got pregnant twice but lost the first one to an early miscarriage and then my baby boy twins were born in May at 20 weeks.  Still devastated but trying again but with IVF this time - egg collection Tuesday so wish me luck!


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## suitcase of dreams

Hello Mittens,

Welcome   
So sorry to hear of your losses, that must have been very hard    
Wishing you the very best of luck for your EC on Tuesday, there's a 2WW thread to post on after that, and then the 'waiting for a first scan' (because of course you'll def need that one in a couple of weeks time    ) - or jump in anywhere you fancy a chat   

Suitcase
x


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## Grace10704

Hi Mittens
Welcome!  There is a growing group of singlies in the West Country area (around Bristol) which you would be welcome to join up with if you wanted some company.  We meet up about every 2-3 months & there's a mixed group of thinkers, tryers, pregnant ladies, new mummys & not so new mummys!  PM me a personal email address & I'll add you to the list if you'd like to know when we are meeting up next.  Will be keeping everything crossed for the need for an early scan soon (as Suity says!)


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## 32Flavours

Hi, everyone!

I'm a happily single 24 year old who has been considering IUI for a long time now. I've recently had a change of career and still have two years training left, so unable to commence any treatment for some time. That doesn't stop me planning though!

Just recently found out about this forum, and hope to broaden my knowledge and meet like-minded people. 

At the moment I'm considering the Bourn Hall Clinic, although reading here a lot of you seem to recommend Reprofit which I hadn't heard of before.

Looking forward to getting to you know all .


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## morrigan

Welcome 32flavours - hope you find lots of answers here.


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## ambergem

Hi 32flavours. Welcome to FF, hope you find the site helpful. Good luck for your future journey.

Linz xx


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## Elpida

Hi 32flavours - welcome


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## sweet1

hi mittens and 32 flavours, welcome to the board


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## bingbong

32flavours I was on here for about a year before I started treatment and it was great to get to know people and learn more about what it all involved so I really hope that it is as helpful for you. I'm pleased that you found us   

bingbong x


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## 32Flavours

Thank you all so much for the lovely welcomes .

Bingbong, that is reassuring to know. I really debated signing up as I will be stuck in the pre-treatment phase for what feels like forever - but, like you, I think I will gain a lot from reading the experiences of others. Congrats on your twins, you must be over the moon!


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## Bethany915

Hello ladies

Just thought I would introduce myself – I am single with a wonderful 2 year old son, TTC #2 naturally since Dec 2009 at the ripe old age of 42 without any luck – so have just started the journey down the fertility clinic road. My DSF (DS’s father) has offered his sperm services and we are hoping to try an IUI cycle in September - despite a “very disappointing” (as my consultant put it) AMH result of 0.4 pmol/l (with FSH of 16).  My DSF has some preliminary tests to do before we can start, but assuming I can cajole him into getting those done in time, we should be good to go in September.  I’m really excited  

Is anyone else trying IUI at the moment? (with or without the handicap of low AMH!)

Look forward to getting to know some of you over the next few months.

B x


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## Sima

Hi Bethany

Welcome to FF. Good luck with your impending IUI. There are many ladies on here who are having IUI. You can find many of them on the IUI thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243822.0

I see you have already found the babies and toddlers boards. I think there is a baby and toddler meet coming up pretty soon. I do not have many details of the meet but you can found some more info on http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=240351.45

We are all based all over the country but we do try to meet up fairly regularly. There is a meet being set up for London girls coming up in London and we do try to have a main meet at least once a year for all the women, kids and bumps. The main meet tends to be based in the Midlands so very easy for people to get to. Other than that some of us have arranged mini meets around the country such as in Bristol, Sussex etc. So I am sure you will find lots of opportunities to meet with other people in your situation.

Do feel free to post and ask questions on any of the threads.

Bye

Sima x


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## bingbong

Welcome Bethany   . There are quite a few IUIers at the moment so best to post on the IUI board that Sima gave the link to. There are also areas on the main boards where there will be others with low AMH and high FSH so it might be worth checking those threads out.

32 Flavours I am totally over the moon!!! Please feel free to post wherever and come to any meets as that's a great way of getting to know people. Also feel free to pm me anytime if I can help   

bingbong x


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## some1

Welcome Mittens, 32Flavours and Bethany - hope you will all find lots of information and support here

Some1

xx


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## Lou-Ann

Welcome to our newbies!   . Good luck with your respective journeys   

Lou-Ann x


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## smilingandwishing

Welcome to the new joiners.

You will see from my signature that it took some time for me to start my journey.  I wish you both luck for yours.  You will without doubt get lots of support on FF - people are wonderful and there are so many different stories that you will be able to relate to.

Smiling xx


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## aimless1

Hello.  Just joined as made the pretty massive decision to go ahead with donor insemination.  It has taken me a while to come to terms with the fact that life hasn't worked out quite "as planned".  A potted history is that a couple of years ago I got preganant by accident and was surprised to find I was delighted.  I then lost the baby at 22 weeks.  It nearly killed me emotionally.  Since then I have been messed around (well let myself be messed around) by an ex who can't commit to having a child and kept asking me to wait and give him time.  Well I am 37 and I don't feel I can or want to wait.  I have had counselling and searched my soul and know that I want a child more than a relationship.  So I have parked dating (no more terrible dates where I may as well have a clipboard of questions re. potential fatherhood).
I would really love to start to build up some contacts with others in a similar situation.  I am thinking of going to storkklinik in Denmark and I feel really excited that i have made my decision and have my family's blessing (they wisely asked me to really think and give it time).
Amy x


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## some1

Welcome to our threads Amy! Glad you have found us!

So sorry to read of your loss, that must have been really tough 

I think we can all identify with the rollercoaster of coming to terms with the fact that life hasn't worked out how we expected, but congratulations on making the decision to go ahead with treatment, glad to hear that you have your family's support.

Feel free to join in on any of the boards, or start your own thread if you prefer. We are a very friendly bunch so you will get lots of support/information here.

There is a Single Womens IUI board here - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243822.0

Some1

xx


----------



## aimless1

Thank you for such a quick and lovely reply.  I feel quite overwhelmed by having made the decision.  I kind of feel I have been trying to sell a business case to people.  It is very hard to get people who don't understand to see that it is what I want to do and while, yes, I would like to be in a happy married couple  that is not to say there aren't other options and its not a total tragedy to "go it alone".
A


----------



## Diesy

Hello Everybody,

What an inspiration y'all are!  I come away with near tears of happiness almost every time I come on.  Finding FF is like coming out the closet for me, only with a pram!  So, I'm thinking a lot, it's all kinda up there with the decision to get a puppy - that worked out pretty well so....  

I've taken the plunge and got my AMH tested nearly two weeks ago, results look good from the little I know.  Planning donor IUI, probably abroad, must get that passport renewed.  What a wealth of information there is on here!  Wow!!!

So for now I'm wishing everyone else luck with their Tx and genning up on all the stuff, swotting for the big exam that's coming.  Happy to chat/make friends with anyone in the same boat as me.  Like Amy I'm finding real life support a little hit and miss.  But, that's ok-ish if a bit (a lot of) hard work.

ttfn
Diesy


----------



## morrigan

welcome all

aimless sounds a tuff journey youve had already- answering that question about which is more important a relationship or a child sealed it for me. Ive had treatment at stork- levely place.. Good luck with it all,

welcome deisy- love the soming out of the closet comment- as you can see on here its not unusual at all !


----------



## Elpida

Welcome Amy and Diesy - I can remember the moment when I finally made the decision to go this route, I felt so liberated and scared at the same time, but also relief at giving myself the permission to follow the path I had wanted to for a long time.


E xx


----------



## some1

Hello and welcome Diesy!  Hope you find lots of information and support here

Some1

xx


----------



## ambergem

Hi Amy and Diesy- Welcome   

Amy- I'm so terribly sorry to hear of your loss   . I can really identify with so much of what you said, particularly the bit about feeling like you're selling a business plan!! I had exactly the same experience with one of my friends who just couldn't seem to understand why I have chosen to tread this path. It made me very sad that she couldn't be supportive and just tried every way she could to talk me out of it!! (This friend incidentally has 4 children which she conceived the first month of trying for each   ). I also came to the conclusion that a baby was more important to me than a relationship, although of course i hope one day to have both   . 

Diesy- Hi! I also loved your comment about coming out of the closet   . Try not to let others negativity get to you- I know it's hard (and hurtful), especially when they're people you consider friends. The truth is that they can't really understand what we go through and the soul-searching involved. You'll get lots of support on here though    

I wish you both lots of luck      and I hope you receive as much help and support from all the lovely ladies on here as I have.  

Love Linz xx


----------



## aimless1

It is such a relief to get replies from people who know how I feel.  It is all to easy to feel like I am completely alone with all this.
I went to see my sister today (she has a 10 month old)  and she was totally supportive.  It was really lovely.
Anyway I have made this huge mental leap with all this now.  I am amazed at how unbothered I am about the fact I have decided to drop the idea of a relationship (for now).  I already had a load of tests at a clinic in London in March.  I think my next step is to go out and see the place in Copenhagen that I want to use.  And just go for it.
Blimey.  I can't believe how clear I feel.  
Amy x


----------



## lulumead

Welcome Amy and Deisy....think you have voiced some very common feelings, so its nice to be around friends    The ladies on here are amazing for support and medical advice, they literally know more than most doctors!


Good luck with your journeys and I look forward to hearing all about them. 


xxx


----------



## Fuisha

Hi all

I have been stalking this site for a few days and thought I'd join.  Seems to be really supportive.  

Been thinking of starting tx for about FIVE years plus! Have had two previous consultations at clinics, last one 2 years ago, but bottled it. 

I have now booked another session for next week....

I told my friends the two previous times but had wholly negative responses - it being "wrong" to go it alone!  
So looking for online support this time...


xx


----------



## some1

Welcome to the threads Fuisha!  

You'll definitely find plenty of support here.  Sorry to hear that you have had a negative response from friends - it is definitely not ideal to go it alone, but I would strongly argue against it being 'wrong'.  

I can identify with what you say about bottling it after having a consultation.  When I started down this road 4 years ago, I went to two clinics - one could start treatment straight away, the other warned me of a long wait for donor sperm to become available - I went for the one with the long wait because I just wasn't mentally ready to start treatment straight away (although I thought I was when I went for the consultation!   )

Just dive in on any of the threads, we're all very friendly.

Some1

xx


----------



## Bethany915

Hi Fuisha

Welcome - I'm sure you will find lots of support on here.  I decided 3 years to go it alone (albeit at home with a kd rather than at a clinic) and I was very lucky that it happened pretty easily and I now have a lovely 2 year old son.  But in the time since I have had him, I had *never* met any other single mum who decided to go it alone (in fact I only know of 3 single mums and they all had partners at the beginning).  And I kept feeling like "the odd one out" amongst my other mum friends, who all have husbands.  

So when I discovered FF a few weeks ago, it was a revelation - there are sooo many of us going it alone.  And I was fortunate to join just before a meet up so I actually met (in real life  ) quite a few others last weekend, which was great.  

I'm sure you will find everyone very supportive.  Good luck with your journey - which clinic are you at?

B xx


----------



## Fuisha

I'm going to Wessex Fertility in Southampton. I had my previous consultation there last time, they were lovely but I have seriously gained three stone - just being miserable for the past two years generally! (My last job was working with babies all day - bad and wrong!! ) So worried what they are going to say about my weight. 

I am worried about what my friends are going to say, last time I was told that I'd need to realise that if I was struggling no-one would have any sympathy cos it was such a selfish thing to do.. (Said by my friend who I supported through PND - but she was married!!)

It is really very encouraging that others are going it alone, I'm 34 now and cant listen to everyones advice about waiting till I meet someone.. Def would love to be involved supporting one another...

Loving my new job, been doing it for 8 months but still dreaming of being a mum!


----------



## Bethany915

Fuisha, sorry to hear about your friend's reaction last time.  I think other people who have maybe found a husband easily, had children easily, have a nice house and nice standard of living etc (because they have 2 incomes) don't realise what it's like to be single, in your mid to late thirties, desperate for a baby and fed up with unsuitable men messing you around.

Anyway, you have to do what's right for you.  Having a baby on my own is without a doubt the best thing I have ever done.  In my experience, once the baby is born, people will just treat you like any other new mum and you will be entitled to moan about your baby having colic or throwing up all over your clothes - just like everyone else does   .

Good luck with your appt. 

B xx


----------



## Fuisha

Thanks Bethany and Some1

It's great to hear people being positive about it (and great to read people who have done it),,

Might get told to lose weight first next week, but that's no bad thing..  

xx


----------



## sweet1

WelcomeFuisha, and all the other new ladies who have recently joined us - it's lovely to have new people posting on here. All the best of luck, I have found this place very supportive.


----------



## Diesy

Hi 

Thanks for all the warm welcomes!  It's a big step really can't say how much reading the posts and the quality of support means to me.  It's A LOT!  It's amazing how one website can overcome all these years of conditioning and negative comments of family and friends.  I told a couple of nice friends the other night and they tried to talk me into getting a kitten instead lol.  But now, with my FF superhero pants on under my leggins there is no way that was going to put me off!  

So, how's everyone getting on?  I'm trying to get my finances straight, working out stat mat leave etc and whether to put my flat on the market before I go for it or wait and see if it happens first.  There is quite a lot to consider when the buck stops here...and you can't chuck it at anyone else...mmm...

Hope all gooooood!
Diesy  xx


----------



## aimless1

Hi Diesy
Like you I am trying to get my stuff in order.  This has involved:
Putting house up for sale (its currently rented out and I can't be bothered with the hassle)
Buying a flat in a nice safe area near friends and family and walking distance to work.
Opening all the envelopes of financial info (pensions etc) that i have been ignoring for years.
Trying to get a pay rise so that my pay is high as possible for when I go on maternity leave (my company pays full pay for 3 months) and for when they inevitably get rid of me once I have a child (I work in a not very female friendly industry and no one with a child has ever lasted there because they haver no clue as to flexibility).
Saving saving saving - no more money wasting (well not so much).
My aim is to go to Denmark in November.  Got my GP to do all the blood tests.  My mum is coming with me to Denmark which is lovely.  I have never been to Scandinavia.
It is all quite exciting (as well as terrifying)!

A x


----------



## Diesy

Hi Amy 

You and me are at the same point   We're both getting our ducks in a row.  I was thinking, as I put up all the stuff about getting sorted that I'd gone a bit off tangent so glad I'm not the only one thinking this.  Originally I was thinking October but I thought I might not be ready, I was pretty sure I wouldn't be ready.  But I think I will be - shocked myself!

The only thing that worries me is my contract at work - it's up in Feb.  

That's nice your Mum can go with you.  My Mum is gone, I'll be doing it all by myself.  Working out a story so I don't break my Dad's heart   Sure the doubting friends will come round once it's in progress.  I'm already enlisting babysitters!!!

Oh tests, glad you reminded me, I need my HIV done.  I've had my AMH - came back high for my age - I was always good at tests 

Diesy  xx


----------



## Fuisha

Hi Amy and Diesy

I think we're all pretty much at same point - I've rented out my house, wasnt sure on how I'd feel - two months ago I was contemplating and now I am just going for it! No point messing around - Ive been thinking about this for such a long time now it is either drop it or go for it...

Amy - are you planning a change of career afterwards? Lovely that your mum is going too, I'd really like someone to go with me first time as is all a bit daunting isn't it?

Diesy -Sounds like job stuff is another complication! Do you think that you are likely to find another role without much difficulty in your industry? I don't know what to say about telling your dad - my biggest concern has been reactions and the impact on others.
x


----------



## smilingandwishing

Lovely to hear you three ladies have made your decision and are going for it!!  Wonderful news.

I like you spent a long time thinking about it. In fact it was almost two years from my first appt and having treatment.  I am blessed to have got pregnant and as I sit here feeling my baby kicking me and moving around I can say that I am so glad that I made the decision to prioritise having  a baby over the feelings of loss of not having the relationship and family the way I had dreamt of it. 

Of course this road can be a difficult one and there are many people you will find on this site who have had heart breaking experiences and whose resilience and determination I admire so much.  You will need to dig deep and find strength some days and you are about to put yourselves in the lap of fate to extent, but however your journey moves along whether you get to your destination in a sprint or whether it is more a marathon you have found a group of people who will always support you. They will provide light on your dark days, answers to your questions, laugh at your antics and a virtual hug when no words either happy or sad will do.

I wish each of you the very best of luck and hope that your dreams are realised in the best possible way for you personally.

take a deep breath, jump and enjoy!

Smiling xx


----------



## some1

Smiling - what a really lovely post hun!


Some1

xx


----------



## aimless1

Wow Smiling...... that is lovely!  I have had an interesting evening.  I went out on a reunion for a yoga type holiday I went on and the conversation turned to my recent choice to go it alone.  One of the women out with us told me she's a 37 year old product of a sperm donor and thus has never known her "father".  It was an amazing conversation because I asked everything I worry about - "did you think your mother was selfish";  "did you hate her"; "how's it affected your life" etc etc.  The answers were that she never thought about it til her teens, she loves her mother,  she had dark moments about who her father was  as a teen but no more dark than  all her friends who obsessed over other issues.....  
It was a pretty enlightening conversation - so I wanted to share it,  felt like it happened just at the right time!

Amy x


----------



## Fuisha

Smiling - I want to kiss you!!!
I want to cry for those deep words...
I've just spent the evening with friends who've two, planning 3 incidently, and I STUPIDLY DRUNKENLY told of my plan - response "I think you're mad  - you've no idea, I cant do it with hubbie, let alone just me"... 
"I don't think you have any idea...."  ( I think I do know reality- I WORK IN CHILDCARE!!!!!)
"What about the right of Unborn? Depriving of father?"

Why can't I keep mouth shut??!!! I am sorry to be so awful as person, but I just want a family.. 
x


----------



## morrigan

Fuisha, what those that aren't single and or have never been for any length of time is we singlies conduct our lives on our own and when things go wrong and we have a bad day, the washing machine breaks there's a work problem etc... We cope because we have too. I've lost count of the times I've had staff ask for time off work because there partner is ill, partner has been bereaved etcc but it's not considered acceptable for you to ask for that so you cam support a friend. The leap between no children and first child must be huge but couples start from a different platform so I don't think that the difference is actually the same for singlies as for couples - that's not to say I dont expect it to be amazingly hard. 
I suspect your friends are concerned for you as they found it hard as a couple and can't picture themselves in your shoes- your obviously stronger than them - you chase your dream.

Smiling - beautiful words x


----------



## sweet1

Aimless and Fuisha I think you have summed up perfectly in your 2 posts the widely differing reactions that we can expect when we go it alone. We will get reactions from one extreme to the other and everything in between.
It took me a long time to convince myself that this was the right thing to do, and even now I do get days when I doubt myself. But they are getting rarer and rarer and never stick around for any length of time.
I think that when you truly, honestly know from the bottom of your heart that this is what you were meant to do with your life then noone's words can hurt you - they can only hurt when they touch a 'nerve' on some level. I think it takes a really long time from my experience but if and when I do finally realise my dream I honestly think the naysayers won't matter to me any more.

Good luck with your forthcoming treatment ladies. xx


----------



## Bethany915

Hi Fuisha, Aimless and Diesy

Just to add my "good luck" wishes - I can't put it any better than Smiling's lovely message   .  It's a brave thing to do - most of us have taken a lot of time to think deeply and "move on" from that dream of having caring boyfriend, wedding, husband, two incomes, nice house and THEN children - and moving on from that is not easy    (especially when our friends often seem to achieve it effortlessly).

I'm sure you will not regret your decisions and, from a personal point of view, my pregnancy and my time on maternity leave with DS were the best two years of my life   .  I have to admit, I have found it more challenging since going back to work (all that juggling work, looking after your LO, household chores, feeling tired all the time, not having enough hours in the day!!!) - but even so, I would not have it any different.  And it will get easier once DS can do more for himself   .  I look at DS every day and think I am sooo lucky to have him   .

I think it's great to try to get your "house in order" before you go down this route - but I would say, don't try to do TOO much whilst you are also trying to get pregnant - as you will most likely need lots of emotional reserves to help you on your journeys.

Aimless - I will follow your trip to Denmark with interest since I am formulating a back-up plan for no. 2 and it may involve Denmark   . 
To all three of you, lots of luck on your journeys   .  I'm sure you will find lots of support on here (I have only been on FF for about a month and I am already bowled over by finally finding "people like me"!)

B xx


----------



## Diesy

Hello Everybody,

Wise words from everybody, they should rename this site MENSA 

Fuisha - It feels good to make the decision!  Yeah, job market is a bit pants, where I am there is a bit of a lack of opportunities.  I'm going to do the best I can but still keep things moving.  Oh, I think I've worked out what to tell the family.  They will either have to like or lump the truth.  Although I'll try and sweeten that statement if the time comes.

Smiling - Aw, I'm really chuffed for you!  Thanks for the lovely message.  It's such an exciting journey already and I haven't really done anything!  It's liberating!  I don't know what I'd have done without FF already.  It makes me smile every day thinking of everyone's kind words and humour.

Morrigan - Thanks for those wise words!  We singles DO deal with a lot on our own and we cope in different ways to the couples - so true!

Bethany - You've just confirmed what I've decided to do on the 'getting house in order' front, so thanks for that.  I'm going to wait and see how Tx goes before I make any major changes but I'm plotting all the while.  

Diesy xx


----------



## aimless1

Arghhhhhhh!  My Mum just rang to ask me if the flat I am buying is suitable for a baby.......  What on earth...?? (flat is perfectly lovely and no more or less suitable than many others I am sure).  It is so much harder doing it all this way -  questions left right and centre and trying to justify bloody everything....
I know its all meant (mostly) out of concern but it does feel like I am in a never ending exam with no correct answers at the moment.
So good to be able to look on FF and feel a bit less alone with it all.
Need to reduce stress levels..........

A x


----------



## morrigan

My mum went through this faze when I first told her she kept ringing up with random questions- the most classic one was she was worried about the child been plucked out of bed to go to childcare at 6.00 am when I work earlies and this wasn't fair on the child- after I asked her how I got a baby that didn't get up at that time and pointed out that marred people work too she realised perhaps she hadn't thought one through. I hope she was just trying to acknowledge your choice but I can see how u feel your been grilled.

She's grown out of that faze now! We now have an arrangement where I just tell her if her comments are annoying


----------



## suitcase of dreams

that's mothers for you - I think they get stuck in a time warp and forget we're grown ups who are quite capable of making the right decisions for ourselves   
on the plus side, good that's she's taking in interest and is supportive of your decision to start ttc....try to humour her if you can - not always easy I know!

and good luck with the flat buying....I need to put mine on the market and get somewhere bigger with easier access for pushchair etc and I'm dreading it, the whole house selling/buying thing is so stressful

Suitcase
x


----------



## RichmondLass

Speaking as someone who moved four weeks before delivering - get on with it girls!  It's very stressful, especially if you like to be in charge of sorting your own things out.  You can't, you can only waddle about pointing, sitting down with your ankles higher than your ears and eating cake.

RLxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

RL - I'm doing it in 2 stages - at least that's the plan: sell flat, move stuff into storage, move me into my mums (gulp - going to take some adjustment at the age of 40 to be going home but she offered and it makes perfect sense and I'm not sure I'd cope alone with twins anyway...), then start to house hunt when I feel ready for it after the birth (hmm, could be a while?!)
that's the grand plan, let's see how it goes in practice   
Suitcase
x


----------



## RichmondLass

suity it sounds perfect.  a very good idea.  I wouldn't think about it for six months after.  RLx


----------



## Diesy

Funny - does having babies and moving go hand in hand?  I wanna wait to see if it works - my flat is baby friendly, ground floor, garden for the hound, but too expensive to keep after.  But I don't yet know if there is an after...yet.

 Hugs to all!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Diesy - I'd love to stay here, I love my flat and it's super convenient for work and everything else. But although it's 2 bedrooms the 2nd one is pretty small, and it's first floor with awkward stairs and no storage for pushchair so it's not going to work. Think if I was having 1 baby I'd stay here initially, then move when he/she was 1-2yrs old, but with twins that's not going to work...really not looking forward to the whole process - estate agents, solicitors, removals etc - makes me shudder just thinking about it and I haven't even started yet!
Your place sounds great - maybe you'll find a way to make it work financially once the baby is here - there do seem to be lots of benefits and things you can look into 

RL - I suspected it would take at least 6 months, hope me and my mum can rub along OK together for that amount of time! Fortunately she has a big house so to some extent I can be quite self contained (bedroom/lounge area/bathroom all separate in the extension) 

Hello everyone else, hope it's going well   
Suitcase
x


----------



## bingbong

Suity I hope that you can get everything sorted so that you can move soon. I know that you are exhausted now but once you have a bump it does get so much harder to pack and move things. I moved at 20 weeks and it was a nightmare and so difficult. 

Diesy it's funny how pregnancy and moving go hand in hand cos really it's the worst time to be doing it I think, the extra stress on its own isn't good let alone the physical aspect.

Good luck to all those moving and sorting things.

bingbong x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

thanks Bing - little chance of that though   

Can't put flat on market until building work in back garden/grounds (long and boring story) is finished which is end Sept. I'll be 14 weeks then. So I would imagine by the time it actually sells I'll be pretty massive....will simply have to delegate the packing/moving to someone else (probably a combination of family members and paid help)

Plan is to move to my mums post Xmas when I'll be around 28 weeks - although may have to go sooner depending on how I am getting on. If flat has not sold by then I will put stuff in storage and move out anyway....

It's all so complicated isn't it? My head is spinning with thoughts of flat, car (need bigger one for twin buggies etc), financial stuff, wills/life insurance, all the things I'll need to buy etc etc. Keep telling myself I need to stop getting ahead of myself. Until 12 weeks I really can't be doing anything - so another fortnight of writing lists in my head at the same time as trying not to think too hard about it all!!

Once I'm safely past 12 weeks, think I might need to have a bit of a chat with you - I'm sure you're going through all the same things and it would be great to catch up over coffee or something once I feel up to being out and about a bit more    meantime hope all is going well with you,
Suitcase
x


----------



## bingbong

Suity I do think that twins adds a little bit more stress to it all, and a little extra planning. I'm in the process of looking at cars big enough. It would be great to meet up when you are up to venturing out, I'm a little restricted on walking thanks to SPD though   . Try not to stress too much, it will all work out   

bingbong x


----------



## Diesy

Suity and Bing

Good luck with the twinses, sure it will be twice as nice.  My sis complains about finding a car for a single buggy!  

On the moving...think I'm going to try and keep my flat, it is a good location.  Anyway, I'm getting a little ahead of myself since I haven't even had a consult yet.  

Anyway, hope all well with everyone else.  I'm off to ebay to find some OPK's   Oh, Bingbong, was Morrigan telling me you have a digital machine thingy?  If so, any good?

Diesy xx


----------



## jasper1

Hi - I've just joined the site and thought I would say hello, I hope I am getting this right ...just tried posting against another thread and only then noticed the welcome one!) I am single and I am now looking seriously at donor eggs (...I am a older than you guys as now the grand old age of 45). I,ve known for a long time that I couldn't use my own eggs but it has taken a long long time to really come to terms with it ....failed relationships ...going into early menopause three years ago etc etc but have had problems for years. I hope you all don't mind me joining but being single makes the whole process rather a lonely one. x


----------



## Diesy

Hello Jasper 

I just saw your post and want to say welcome.  You sure won't be lonely on here!  I've not been here long but I have been made to feel RIGHT at home!  There are a great bunch of girlies with answers for everything and a virtual hug in every post/PM!  I come away smiling every time...hey I even smile in the street just thinking of all the warm words of encouragement I get here but not in my day to day world, or it's not commonplace anyway.  For me FF was like coming out the closet with a pram.

So, hope you have a nice time here!  Sure you will    So much information!  I'm sure it will aid your journey whatever you choose.  I emailed my first clinic today in Denmark - I get very excited about not much, me.

Anyhoo, good to see ya!
ttfn
Diesy xx


----------



## jasper1

Hi and Thanks ...I strangly feel better already having somewhere I can speak to real people (the Doctores and Nurses seem to be really nice but its not the same - I have been to the Lister to double ...treble check my chances and now have an appointment at CARE in Manchester - just to see how things work there but having been searching on the NET and I know I will probably need to be looking at Spain and other places further afield. Does anyone else have concerns about total anomynity abroad ...I do have concerns that my choices now will possibly negate any choice my child (hopefully I can have at least one!) will have in regard to them seeking being able to get information about their genetic heritage should they choose to do so. My sister has offered but as she is 40 that may not be a viable option ...anyone else considered using a known donor? 
Before I forget Good Luck to you in Denmark xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi jasper and welcome,

Sending you a PM (private message) re your questions - you'll see it under 'My messages' at the top of the page...

Suitcase
x


----------



## Bethany915

Hi Jasper

Welcome!  And 45 is still young    (ok, I know it's not in fertility terms but for "normal life" it is - at least, I like to think so - I'm nearly 43  )

Suity has probably said this in her PM to you - but apparently in Denmark you can get donor ID release sperm - so the child could find out at 18 about his/her father.  Don't know much about the situation with donor eggs / ID release - but Suity may have answered that one also!

Good luck with your journey - it is a challenge doing it on your own, but in my experience definitely worth it  

B xx


----------



## aimless1

Hi Jasper!  You'll find lots of support on FF.  I only started posting recently (after a bit of lurking).  i have found its really helped me fend off lonely feelings.  i read the posts if I wake up and have a 4 in the morning fir of self pity/fear.....

Well this week I seem to have sold my house - got a decent offer.  I should be happy but I cried when the estate agent rang.  i think it is because when i bought the house a few years ago I was going to live there forever and it was perfect for me at the time (in a relationship)  and selling it has just reminded me how things haven't worked out.......  Still its a positive move and I am buying a nice flat somewhere I love and making plans to have a baby and even though its not all gone "as planned" i am pretty lucky.

So positive thinking. 

Hello to everyone and hope your weekends are all good.

A xx


----------



## bingbong

Jasper welcome    I hope that you find lots of support on here. And as for being old I met someone the other day who is pregnant with twins at 53, she had numerous DEIVF that all ended in BFNs and then, having frozen her eggs years ago had IVF using them and got pregnant with twins. Anyway, at 45 you are not old.

Aimless congrats on selling your house, sorry that it has bought up mixed feelings. I think that this journey is full of that, regrets and sadness about what wasn't to be and coming to terms with ttc alone.   

Diesy yes I used the clearblue fertility monitor which I thought was great. I only used it for two cycles in the end because I started medicated IUI and didn't need it, but it gave me an idea of my cycle and did pick up my surges which the cheap OPKs didn't do, probably because I have PCOS which can do that. They are cheaper online than in Boots, or you might find someone on here with an old one to sell. I got lent mine by someone who was very kind   . I hope that you hear from the clinic soon.

 
bingbong x


----------



## jasper1

Hi All. Thanks for your kind messages. This has turned out to be a really good day  Connecting with people on the site has been so de-stressing as I feel less isolated.  I hope you have a great weekend. I will post again soon. Wishing you all sweet dreams .  Dx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi Everyone,

I hope you don't mind me joining the thread, I was on the old thread back last year for us singles and have recently returned to the site after having sometime away so working my way back in   

I am single girl going it alone with my DP sperm that was stored before he passed away.  I have been going through treatment for the last 3.5 years and recently had my 3rd ICSI cycle in August but ET was not possible as developed OHSS and doctors did not want to risk me or me embies.  This cycle I had 3 embies frozen (which was amazing ive never had frozen embies).  I am having ET on a natural cycle and only having the HCG injection which i took last friday and going in for ET this friday im so excited I can't wait     .

Just wanted to share my story and meet you lovely other singles and here your stories and provide support and generally chat.

Hope everyone is ok.

Blueskye
xx


----------



## some1

Welcome Jasper - glad you have found us!  Don't worry too much about your age, you will find quite a number of ladies on FF pregnant in their mid 40s, mostly with DE, although on my pregnancy thread there is one lady with a surprise natural pregnancy at 47 (!)  despite bad test results, there is also a 52 year old pregnant with DE twins.

Congratulations on selling your house Aimless - you are going to be moving into your family home, that's really exciting!

Welcome back BlueSkye, I remember you from before.  Wishing you loads of luck for your ET on Friday     

Some1

xx


----------



## Fuisha

Hi Jasper, I am too new but have found this thread really encouraging to follow what is right for me. Hope you feel the same x

Hi Amy, congrats on selling - although mixed I'm sure- we only have one life and can play the cards we are dealt - it's great that you are playing your trump card and persuing your dream. It's pretty cool that you can buy a flat for you and babe and make it work financially..

Hi Bluesky - good luck for Friday!

I love reading everyone's posts as find it a real source of comfort to know that I am not the only crazy one!!!!

Mx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Thanks for the welcome backs and the good luck wishes, sending big hugs      to everyone.

Fuisha, I agree it is really comofrting reading through everyones stories and post, because It sometimes feels like a lonely place going through tx especially as I don't know anyone going through it also.  But being on here does offer reassurance and some hope

blueskye xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Blueskye, welcome back to the boards   . Wishing you loads of luck for ET on Friday   

Welcome to all other newbies too and good luck with your journeys   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Diesy

Hi Everyone,

Glad everyone's responses cheered you Jasper   I know I get heaps of support knowing I'm not the only one doing this.  (Certainly the nurse at the Family Planning Clinic today got a soliloquy on it - opps  )

Aimless - well done with the house, hope the sale goes well, it's always an adjustment - spoken by someone who moves A LOT.  It's a positive thing though, working towards your future.

Wishing you well BlueSky, touched by your story.  Crossed fingers for you!   
    

How are you getting on Fuisha?  Oh, I'm pretty nutz if it makes you feel better 

I've had my HIV/Hep tests taken today.  It was a bit more traumatic than I thought just because the clinic misled me on what they can provide and now I have to go to my GP after all - looking forward to that one, not.  Currently wrestling with the open v's anonymous donor issue.  In some respects I think, yeah go open then there is the choice.  But on the other I think it's never going to be much more than a name and the expectation might be there that it is...more.  Cost shouldn't be an issue, but if I don't have endless funds for this.  Anyway, just voicing where I'm at...  I have decided on Danish swimmers though - teehee   I've realised I've been marking time for 10 years, it feels great to be doing this, suddenly it's my life again.  Must be something to do with turning 40     

Anyhoo, hope y'all are well and I'm looking forward to hearing how it's going 
Diesy


----------



## aimless1

Hello All
Am off to Tenerife tomorrow for much needed holiday with 5 friends.  All older than me and (except one who has a teenage daughter) happily childless.  Am expecting a bit of a Spanish inquisition but feeling so positive about my choices that I don't mind.  My ex husband popped over today with his little boy.  Was lovely to see them - don't regret not having children with him though....  Told him about my plans and he was very supportive which was nice.  
Not much else to report.  Flat purchase going through but frustratingly slow.  I feel really positive this week (unlike last).  Have decided I am a bit of a slave to my hormones really.  Was on the floor with misery last week!
Denmark in November is the latest plan.  Sticking with Storkklinik.  They have been so friendly.
It is so nice to keep reading the posts on this forum!  Am looking forwrd to the meet up in October to meet some of you.
A x


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi everyone,

Aimless, I hope you have a fab time away and enjoy yourself and try and forget about treatment while your away and come back all relaxed and refreshed ready to go.  Hopefully by the time you come back the purchase of your flat will be further along.

Diesy, have you had your test results back yet?  I hope you are feeling bit better now.

Im please to say I have 1 perfect little embie on board that was transfered on friday so I am resting up, staying at my mums for a week to ensure my little one is snuggles in tight.  My little one is a fighting soldier and I am determind not for it to go anywhere.  Fingers and legs vrossed with lots of      Bored today though, a day feels like a week.

When and where if the meet up in October?  Ive probably missed the announcement but just wondering cause would be nice to meet you and have a good old chat!

xx


----------



## Bethany915

BlueSkye - hi - here's the thread for the October meet. It's in London on 3rd October:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243531.0

B xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Fab thank you xx


----------



## Diesy

Fingers crossed Bluesky   Take it easy!  Hope you aren't too bored.      
I am feeling better thank you.  Test results next week and hopefully 21 day and FSH getting done.  Having a couple of weeks off work myself - yay!  If you could call it hols - restarting uni and going on weekend workshops...mmm...

Aimless - enjoy the sun!  

Wish I could make the London meet - so near, yet so far...


----------



## feeling lucky

Hi everyone,

hope you dont mind me jumping in....
im new to the site, joined yesterday.  feeling like i needed to chat to other ladies in the same boat.  it does feel weird not being in a relationship and trying for pregnancy.  never thought i would be here loool.  but life is what happens when your busy planning eh? (thats me lol)
well im in my second round of IUI and OTD is 26th i think    
Good luck to all you other ladies   sending loads of positive thoughts xxx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome feeling lucky- wish you every luck in the world-it's normal in these circles !! feel free to come join the 2 ww thread as well.


----------



## Diesy

Hi Feeling Lucky, 

Good luck with your 2WW!  Fingers crossed for you   I'm definitely in your boat - hey, it's nice to have the good company of the girlies on here.  (Although, not been for Tx yet so I'm perhaps in the queue for the ticket office eating crisps.  I'm waving to everyone though )

Diesy


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Evening Ladies,

I hope everyone is ok, welcome to the threat Feling Lucky, I certainly is weird going through it alone but Ive recently retunred back onto the site and certainly helps having these lovely ladies to chat to about everything as they can understand what you are going through.    and    for you next tx.

Unfortunaetly ladies I come baring bad news!!!  Well it has certainly been a rollercoaster this week.  I have been feeling fab, so positive, I felt different all week in a good way, felt sick and had butterflies in my belly, I felt as if things were going my way.  However I woke at 02:30 this morning to find that I had started to bleed     .  I was really poorly I passed out on the toilet i was in there about 15 mins and was so pale, in so much pain, had the sweats and then the chills.  It was awful.  I didnt go back to sleep so have been a very long day.  I spoke with the clinic and I still have to do my test on the 26th and call them with the result they said it still could have worked but we all know that it hasn't!!!  So unfortunately this time is it another failure!!!  

Im going back in on my next period to go again and we will arrange that when I ring with the result.  I have 2 more frozen embryos so will have them both on another cycle and then thats it me done, I want to go again before the end of the year so if it doesn't work I can start a new year without this hanging over me.  Sounds awful doesn't it!!!  I went to the doctors this evening as felt awful blood pressure etc is fine and he thinks the fainting was some sort of syndrome where by its your body trying to cope with whats happening but Im going for blood tests and an ecg tomorrow as I have palpertations too and Im so cold which is not me at all. 
  
Blueskye
xx


----------



## Bethany915

Oh dear, BlueSkye, that sounds awful   .  It's times like this when it's hard doing it on your own....  It doesn't sound like it's worked, does it?   .  I really hope the tests give you some reassurance that you will be ok for another go on your next cycle.

B xx


----------



## morrigan

bluesky- hope you feel better soon.


----------



## smilingandwishing

Blue-skye - how horrible. Sending you hugs.

Smiling xx


----------



## Diesy

Take it easy Blue Skye!  Doesn't sound nice at all   I hope you feel better soon!


----------



## feeling lucky

Hi everyone,

Bluesky - awwwww so sorry to hear that you have been sooo poorly and im devastated at the news. but you are being soo brave, well done    

Morrigan - hi any news with you yet?? i know its still a bit early but  

Deisy - hi thanks for your wishes   thats really kind of you. and im loving the scene of you eating crisps loool

Well im not feeling too bad today going from realist to optiminist and back to realist perspective!   doh! trying not to keep it at the forefront of my mind.. tho every little twing, ache activity and food item is being over analyised lool  and whats this about no swimming for real?  oh well. im just hanging, trying to stay postive.  wishin all of you    and lots of baby dust xxxxx


----------



## morrigan

Bluesky- I hope your feeling better.

Feeling lucky - hang on in there.

I've so far avoided the dreaded pee sticks - I'll prob test tommorrow which is only a day early - not feeling very hopeful!


----------



## Diesy

Hello, how is everybody?       
Nice weekends?  I've been away workshopping although shopping would have been nice!

Hope everyone is well and had a good weekend 

Diesy


----------



## aimless1

Back from Tenerife.  Told a couple of my friends about the donor insemination plan and got a pretty positive reaction.......  I am feeling pretty good again after a few wobbles.
Flat purchase is moving slowly forwards.  I am totally fed up of estate agents and lawyers.  I have also possibly done one really silly thing which is agree to take on my ex's cat.  She's a lovely cat but probably a dumb idea given that I already have a cat, am trying to move home and don't need extra ties to the ex, plus hoping to be a single mother pretty soon.  Ah well.  
So Storkklinik in November.......  time seems to be rushing by.
Looking forward to the meet up!! Not long now!
Bluesky - so sorry for what you are going through.
Amy xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for all your very kind messages, I really appreciate it.  Im feeling alot better than i did a week ago but still not 100% but hey ho go to bounce back for the one last shot eh.  Oh well back to work tomorrow, boo.

Thank you to everyone, I hope everyone is ok

  xx


----------



## freya9000

Hi everyone I have just joined and am very glad this exists......it's making me feel relatively normal already )if that's at all possible.


----------



## caramac

Hi Freya - welcome to the boards!


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi Freya,

Welcome to the boards, hope you are ok.  Yeah being on here doesn help you feel "normal" and that your not alone.  Are yout thinking about tx or have you started receving tx?

xx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Freya,

Good to see you 

Diesy


----------



## morrigan

welcome Freya- You will find loads of info on here- glad you found us.


----------



## feeling lucky

hi Ladies,

*Bluesky*, glad your feeling a little better.... whats next for you?

well my AF came with vengence on sunday 26th (day 14 post insem) and i tested negative.
really gutted. but thats the way life goes sometimes and as we all know pregnancy is a miracle of nature.

well erm i cant affort to cycle again just now and NHS not taking singles (doh!) so thinking ive gotta find me a live man lool
hope you're all well and wishing you all a good weekend. xx


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hi there Feeling Lucky,

So sorry to hear that. It's a tough old journey sometimes. Keep your chin up and you never know what is round the corner - could be a lovely man with your name on him   

Smiling xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Awh    Feeling Lucky,

I am so sorry to hear your news, I bet you are gutted, I hope you are ok and feeling a bit better.  You sound like you have a plan and like smiling said you never know whats around the corner   

Your right though pregnany is a miracle and what we experience and have gone through just makes a stronger and more determind.  Thats ashame about funding could you try appealing or anything?

Well Im waiting for AF which hopefully will be here in 2 weeks (ive never wanted it to come so much haha) and then im booking in when it arrives for day 10 scan to go through a natural cycle FET.  I have 2 frozen embies left and both will go back as long as they survive and hope for the best.  This is my last and final go so if it doesn't work (which im not expecting it too) then the door will close for me and time to move on.

Sending big    and hope you are ok

Blueskye
xx


----------



## gb02005

Hi, I've recently joined FF and there are so many acronyms that I don't understand.  Is there a translation for them anywhere on the site?


----------



## Bethany915

Feeling Lucky - sorry to hear about your BFN  . I think I saw some posts on one of the other threads to give you some more ideas about cheaper treatment, if you want to continue down that route. A real live man might be a good option too, though  .

BlueSkye - good luck with your FET - has AF arrived yet? Do you take any drugs at all with a natural FET - or is the embryo just put in at the appropriate time in your cycle? (I'm interested as I'm considering frozen embryo adoption as a possibility for further down the line, in case my current AI/IUI doesn't work.)

GB - Have a look at this list of acronyms here:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/index.php?option=com_glossary&Itemid=120

Hi to any other newbies 

B xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi gb02005, welcome to the FF, Hope you are ok xx

Hi Bethany, thank you.  AF arrived on monday so booked in for day 10 scan next wednesday so im starting the hourney again for one last time.  Feeling pretty yuk at the moment im having sinus trouble so I hope that doesn interfear with it all.  Ive only had one FET and that was natural but people also have them medicated and at different levels but im not really sure about all that.  On my natural cycle I carried on taking asprin every day and my vitamins and then used ovulating sticks to test for natural ovulation but as I got closer to the time I took the HCG injection (i could have waited for natural ovulation but I wanted the injection) to make me ovulate which was around the same time I naturally would have which they could estimate from my scans.  They then placed the embryp in a week later as I had day 5 blastocyst embryos.  I hope that makes sense?  I felt so good only having the HCG I had no pain or reaction to any drugs was fab I would definietly recommend it.  Im hoping to do it again as much as I can but I want progesterone this time as well as watever they can give me.

Blueskye
xx


----------



## VixS

Hello everyone

I'm new on this site but I've spent MANY hours reading through your posts and have found them moving, extremely helpful and supportive.

I applied for a consultation at ARGC over 2 weeks ago but I've had no response.  
I have since read on this site that they don't treat SINGLE WOMEN - is this true? I see that they do allow for the use of donor sperm but is this just for heterosexual couples? I've emailed them and called but I've heard nothing back from them. I get the feeling that they just avoid the question, ignore you and hope that you'll go away.

Does anyone know for sure whether it's their policy not to treat single women??

Thanks for any advice.
VixS

p.s. I've already had 3 x DIUI at LWC but I've just discovered low AMH result and was hoping ARGC would give me best chance of success.


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hi Vixs,

welcome to the site and sorry to hear you've had disappointments in your treatment up until now. I'm afraid I don't know anything about ARGC - but didn't want to read and run.

have you also thought about the Lister - they seem to have quite a good result with women over 40.

Smiling xx


----------



## VixS

Thank you, Smiling&Wishing
Yes, I've been looking into the Lister today.
I now need to decide whether to give IVF a go with *London Women's Clinic * or switch to the *Lister * at significant additional cost...
Has anyone experienced IVF at both places who can advise? Is the extra cost at the Lister worth it??
HELP PLEASE!!


----------



## caramac

VixS - welcome to the boards! I have no experience of either LWC or the Lister, but I just wanted to stir things up a bit by asking whether you've considered/looked into treatment abroad. The cost is significantly lower than the UK clinics, although a major downside is that the donors are anon. If you check out the Singles Abroadies thread on here you will see that there a lot of us single ladies who go abroad for treatment.


----------



## VixS

Hello Caramac

Thanks for your reply - I've already imported donor sperm and it's sitting in LWC's freezer - that's part of the additional cost of switching to the Lister - I'll have to transport it to the Lister and pay again for storage etc...

So, for now, I'm staying in London and, as it seems that ARGC don't want me, I'll either stick with LWC or switch to the Lister if it's worth all the additional costs.
Aargh!!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

VixS - yes, I am afraid it is true that ARGC will not treat single women. Strictly speaking they are not allowed to deny you treatment so you could fight it, but tbh the time and energy it would take to do that would probably be better invested in getting yourself pregnant elsewhere...

I have had IVF at LWC but not at the Lister - Lister has good results for older women and more 'difficult' cases from what I hear but I can't comment personally. I found LWC OK-ish for IVF but looking back now I feel they were too conservative with me, repeating the same protocol 3 times and simply saying it was bad luck I didn't conceive. If you do go ahead with IVF there I would push for more than just the 'standard' tx they seem to give everyone...and really query how they are tailoring the treatment to your own personal case and results

Best of luck
Suitcase
x


----------



## VixS

Hi Suitcase

Thanks for that - I think you've helped me with my decision to switch to the Lister.

I had the same reservations with LWC during my IUIs - I had to press for explanations and suggested changes to my dosage - which they then agreed to (so why didn't they suggest the changes in the 1st place?) etc. 
If they're the same during an IVF cycle, I think I'd lose trust in their advice.

If I was prepared to pay for ARGC, I should prob bite the bullet and go with the Lister - from what I've read on here, they seem to be more tailored to each person's needs and specialise in low AMH/high FSH cases like me...

Thanks again.


----------



## Diesy

Hi Everybody,

Been a wee while since I was on this thread so popping in to say hello    Feeling blue because I haven't taken the plunge yet, no passport yet, I think the logistics are putting me off.  So, so busy with work   Feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all.

Girl at work, 10 years younger, went on mat leave today.  Husband, big house, mat pay, everything I don't have.  Y'all understand I hope.  Not being mean about her at all, knitting her baby booties.

And it's so hit and miss, go here, go there, %'s, etc.  Got to get me some proper thinking done when I'm not so tired.

Hope everyone is well! 

Looking forward to the weekend!
Diesy xx


----------



## smilingandwishing

Deisy - it is really hard - there seems so much to think about. If you ever want a chat PM me and I'll send you my mobile.  I think in the end I had a bit of a penny drop moment and then there was clarity.  At the end of the day you can do research until the cows come home, but there is no definitive 'right answer' in terms of which clinic or country or treatment. Some of the decision will just come from your gut.

Smiling xx


----------



## Diesy

Aw, cheers Smiling!  That would be lovely!  I did have a bit of an epiphany this morning but I keep rationalising them - opps.

Be doing the sums and dates and this weekend.

Thank you!
Diesy xx


----------



## jscurls

Hello all,

I'm fairly new and have only just found this thread, so hello everyone!

For what it's worth, I'm at the LWC and have had massively varied experience there. I'm not sure if it's ok to talk about specific doctors but if you PM me I will give you the lowdown on who I'd ask to see, and who I'd avoid. But as smilingandwishing says, it's best to go with your gut. All the clinics out there are of a similar standard and are able to help you get pregnant. Success rates are controlled by lots of different factors, eg I heard that the Lister are more choosy with who they treat, thus keeping their success rates high.

I also think it's important to go with one that's near you, thus avoiding the stress of travel when you're in the midst of treatment. I chose the LWC because it's very close to work and takes the strain off when I have to go in for scans and appointments.

I've just recovered from a miscarriage and getting ready to get back on the horse.

Am glad to have found this thread - it'd be wonderful to experience it all on here, and be here for everyone else who is going through this testing, tough journey.

xxxjscxxx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi

Looking at organising another singles meet up in London if anyone is interested. Here's the thread if you are http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=249687.0

F x

F x


----------



## smilingandwishing

Ladies,

Just a reminder we have the early Xmas meet up in December

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=247839.0.

Lovely to have you back Fraggles!!

Smiling xx


----------



## DZWSingleMumma

HI all,
I am a single 36 year old female based in Surrey.  I'm originally from the US.  I've been in the UK for 15 years.
I've recently been diagnosed with low fertility with an AMH test result of 8.26.  I have known I wanted to have children for the past 8 years but due to a very difficult divorce and subsequent mending of my heart I find myself alone.  I've dated but never found the right person.

I therefore am now faced with the reality that I am going to have to go it alone.  I am looking into donor insemination (first go will be IVI,ICI) using a US sperm bank. 
I am in the investigation/planning stages and have many questions but will save them till I have read through all the information on the boards.

Thanks for hearing me!

Dawn


----------



## morrigan

Welcome dawncwuk - you will find lots of support here - any questions ask away


----------



## Diesy

Hey Dawn,

You're in the right place - info here is super top notch!

catcha later,
Diesy


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hello Dawn and welcome!

If you are not too far from London and free on Dec 5th, then maybe pop along to the pre Xmas do (see the link posted by Smiling) 
I can't make it as that weekend is my brother in law's 40th b'day but having been to several of the meet-ups over the past 3 yrs (oh my goodness, has it been that long?!), I have to say it's the best way to get info/talk about all the different issues and options - nothing beats chatting to people who are going through the exact same experiences as you

and meantime, do join in on any of the threads and feel free to ask away with questions   
good luck with it all,
Suitcase
x


----------



## GIAToo

Welcome Dawn - ask away, between us we will have the answers I'm sure.  There are loads of lovely women who have helped me on my journey so far   

Good luck   
GIA Tooxxx


----------



## jennyfreckles

Hello, just joined the site today after a year or so of popping in and out looking for info.  I'm waiting for an embryo adoption match being confirmed so that I can go ahead with treatment in March as planned.  It's taken a lot of soul searching to go this route, but I believe that it is the right way for me (and I am lucky that I also have my GP's support).

Can you advise me where to post my question please.  I am CMV -ive and was advised by a UK clinic that when I was to undergo treatment with a sperm donor I should insist on CMV -ive.  Now, that I am going the double donor route I don't seem to be able to get info on whether either/both should be CMV -ive.  Has anyone on here had a CMV +ive donor and been successful?  Help please xx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome jennyfreckles - good luck with your journey.

Where are you having tx. Cmv is a virus that lots if people have but is relatively harmless- I think if you catch it while pregnant it could cause the baby to be ill- if you had it (cmv+)you will have antibodies to it which would protect the baby if you are exposed to it whilst pregnant- I think the jury is out whether or not you can catch it from donor sperm/ eggs- I might be wrong but I don't think there have been any cases of it been caught that way- but cmv infection in babys can be pretty devasting so I guess people are cautious- you will get different answers from different clinics/ country. I wander if they would know the cmv status of donor embryos as they may not of been a reason to test for it. Hopefully some one who knows about donor embryo will be along to advise.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Jenny and welcome 

There are quite a few of us who are CMV negative here (for some reason the incidence seems to be higher amongst single women - no data on this but anecdotally from this site at least it seems to be the case)
I was told by LWC in London that it didn't matter at all and the chances of me catching CMV in pregnancy and the baby being affected were tiny. CRM in London told me it was up to me, they would prefer me to have a negative donor (egg and sperm) but if I chose not to I could sign a waiver saying I was aware of the risks
Reprofit in Czech Republic didn't mention it at all

I am now 21 wks pregnant with twins following tx at Reprofit - I don't know if my donors were CMV neg or pos to be honest - there was a statement on my donor details about all donors being checked for CMV...but I think this just means checked to make sure CMV was not active at the time, otherwise I can't see how they would have enough donors as neg is relatively rare

At the end of the day I think you have to make your own decision on how important this is to you. The risks are *very low* of it being a problem, but on the flip side it can be very serious if the baby does get it (I have a friend who had CMV in pregnancy - she didn't have fertility tx, she just caught it - and her little boy is deaf, barely speaks and is overall developmentally delayed)

Not sure I've really helped here...
Best of luck with your tx and do join us to chat on whichever threads you feel fit you best!
Suitcase
x


----------



## jennyfreckles

Thanks for the welcome Morrigan and Suitcase of Dreams.  It's something that is playing on my mind and the more I read the more confused I get.  It seems that only 20% of people are CMV neg and so it's a really weird coincidence about a high number of single women being neg, it would be a great research project for someone   I'm going to email Reprofit (which is where I am going in March - hopefully) and see if I can get any response, although, as you say, they may not find it an issue.  Who knows?

Congrats on your twins Suitcase.  It is lovely to hear good news after Tx  

I'll have a look around the boards and try to get to know a few people, it's strange being a newbie 

Thanks again x


----------



## DZWSingleMumma

On CMV it appears it's communicable... perhaps it's like HPV (virus that causes cervical cancer, genital warts, verrucas etc). Looking at this weblink http://www.health.state.ny.us/diseases/communicable/cytomegalovirus/fact_sheet.htm it appears it causes chicken pox, mono and herpes too. I had mono at university so I guess i am CMV+ how interesting.

Dawn

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## BEVINBLUE

Hi, I'm a single newbie from the North East. I was put on an 18 month waiting list back in June at the CFL but paid for a donor at a LFC in London. The donor sperm has been shipped up and I have harvesting at CFL in Newvastle on Thurs 16/12/10. I'm currently 9 days into my Menopur injections which weren't as bad as I thought. I've been told though that chances of success are small because of me being 40!! Is that really true??

Bev xx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome bevinblue- good luck with your cycle - it's true age has massive effect on sucsess rates but every 40 yr old is different -quite a few ladies here of that age- probably got more to do with your biological age than chronological age - I hope you will be getting a bfp very soon so you won't care!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

bevinblue - welcome and glad all is going well so far with your first cycle   

it is true that success rates drop significantly for the over 40s but remember that everyone is an individual not a statistic and you simply can't tell - some women are lucky and get pg first attempt at 40, others (like me) started at 37 and have ended up moving to donor eggs and having a very long journey to success....so you just never can tell

I think it's good to be realistic about these things so yes, your chances of success are significantly lower than those of someone under 40, but at the same time not to be too pessimistic - plenty of women do get pregnant at 40 and beyond and you could well be one of them, so stay positive    

once you have done one cycle, doctors will have a much better idea of how you respond to the meds, what quality and quantity of eggs you produce etc. Of course hopefully it works first time but if not, they will have much more info to go on to tailor a 2nd attempt for you

wishing you the very best of luck
Suitcase
x


----------



## some1

Welcome to the threads Bevinblue - wishing you loads of luck for this cycle!

Some1

xx


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## Bethany915

Hi Bevinblue - welcome to the singles boards and good luck!  I got pregnant with my LO at 6 weeks short of my 40th birthday (and with a low AMH) - so it can happen!  As Suity says, you don't want to be over-optimistic - but on the other hand, you may be one of the lucky ones, so fingers crossed  .  And if it doesn't happen this time, you will have lots more info for your next attempt.

B xx


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## smilingandwishing

Hi bevinblue,
As everyone has said, age is absolutely an important factor in fertility. However, it isn't the only factor and what I have also learned from reading lots of stories on here is that tx is not an exact science. 

I have been incredibly lucky and blessed and got pregnant first time with iui at 40 years and 3 months. Baby is due 12 days before my 41st birthday. So it can happen. 

Wishing you the very best for a successful cycle!

Smiling x


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## lulumead

Hi Bevinblue, good luck with it all    


Hello to any other newbies...sorry not really been checking the thread   
xx


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## pricklyhedgehog

Jenny - I am CMV neg and I was told by Reprofit that this didn't matter at all for my DFET.....it is only an issue with donor IUI...I had to be matched with a neg sperm donor when I did my IUI's in North East UK and abroad in Copenhagen....apparently its not an issue with double donor embryo's however...oh, and welcome to the site!!x


----------



## Amittai

Hi everyone,

I am new to this board and new to everything to do with this whole topic. YAY!
Basically, my story is that I am turning the grand old age of 40 in April 11, and am single, so I’ve decided after some deliberation to try the IUI option. Hopefully I can use my own eggs and who knows it might even be simple! 

I have my GP appointment on Friday this week where I am hoping to get a referral on the NHS. So basically, I just wondered if anyone had any advice on the first GP appointment. On the internet some sources seem to say that the NHS is more likely to offer treatment for women under 40 (so I am right on the cusp). I’m in Tower Hamlets and fortunately they seem quite open minded  or inclusive about single women so that should be in my favour…touch wood. Does anyone know the current facts on this? Or does it depend?

Should I just sort of go along with what the GP recommends, to start with, or should I be asking to be referred to such and such PCT, and stress urgency (due to this nearly 40 category) and try and be specific? I don’t know if that makes a difference or not at that stage, or if I just need to go through a standard process no matter what. I am of course reading as  much as I can including the posts on this forum - to glean info – which seem full of the most amazing world of fascinating new acronyms to learn!  (among other things..)

Lastly, what do people think about this – I was wondering about waiting times. If the NHS says there is eg a 1 year wait, then I might consider one of these overseas options, as the cost of private in the UK seems prohibitive. Do you think I should mention this to the GP, that if I have to wait ages, I’d consider that option, or should I just keep shtoom about that…?

Sorry for the long post! And thanks for any advice anyone has on this stage.. sorry if it seems silly asking questions when I feel like I haven’t actually even DONE anything yet! I just want to try and do this all as properly as I can from the start..

And hope you all having a good new year/xmass, and all the best for 2011 and may all your dreams come true!


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## morrigan

Amatti welcome- I know that my pct won't fund single women. You will for a start need to have been trying to concieve for 6 months to  get referred which can be a bit awkward ! In our situation. You are under the pct you live in so you could try ringing them and finding there policy. 

You will be able to ask you go to pre conception screen and fsh,lh 
oestrodial levels and progesterone to check your ovulating ok.

I think it very much depends on your gp! 

Good luck with everything - plenty of info on here.


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## lulumead

Hello Amittai,


Great news with deciding to go ahead, welcome to the group!


As morrigan says most PCT's won't fund singlies but that's not to say that your GP won't make an exception. It might be worth saying that you did try for over a year in a previous relationship in order to bypass the having been trying for at least 6 months issue.


You should definitely be able to get blood tests done by your GP as Morrigan suggests as the more information you have about this the better when you do go to see a specialist.  You could push to see if they will refer you to a fertility specialist on the NHS but I suspect you will have to wait a bit.  It might be worth getting blood tests done and then going to a private clinic just for a consultation.


Lots of people have been to Reprofit in the Czech republic as much cheaper than over here but you need to think about whether you are happy using anonymous sperm  - there is a thread about this somewhere on the board.


Anyway feel free to ask any questions - people on here are very knowledgeable and you will probably learn more than from your GP!


let us know how you get on...my GP has been very good about doing blood tests and investigations but she did have to take it the PCT at one point. All my actual treatment has been private.


xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Hi Amittai and welcome   

As Morrigan and Lulu have already said, it is EXTREMELY unlikely that as a single woman you will get IUI (or indeed IVF/other fertility tx) on the NHS. I think of all the single women I've come across on FF over the past 3+ yrs, only one has had NHS funding (she was, I seem to recall, in Wales, and had clearly diagnosed fertility problems rather than just being single and needing sperm)

NHS criteria tend to be very strict and basically include only couples who have no children of their own (on either side) and who meet age/weight criteria and have known/identified fertility issues and have been trying to conceive for a specific amount of time (usually 12mths plus depending on age)

Of course there is no harm at all in asking, but as I say, I'll be rather surprised if you qualify for NHS treatment....

What your GP can do for you is some of the basic tests for free - for example FSH/LH etc to check your basic fertility levels (only a guideline but good to know), and potentially also some of the screening tests which all clinics will request/charge for - eg HIV, hep A/B, chlamydia etc

Beyond that, I'm afraid to say you're on your own as a single woman (although of course you're not on your own at all thanks to all of us here on FF   )

Your options will be, as you've already mentioned, to go private either here in the UK or abroad. In the UK (and especially in London) you're looking at ca £1000 per attempt at IUI with the cost of donor sperm (ca £500) on top of that. Some clinics have waiting lists due to shortage of sperm, others like London Womens Clinic have a large sperm bank and you can usually go ahead straight away once you've had all the screening tests done
Abroad is significantly cheaper (esp Czech Republic) but logistically more challenging - lots of help on this one on the single girls having IUI and/or single abroadies threads as many of them are using/have used Reprofit in CZ or Danish clinics...

Oh and just to add to the doom and gloom - your fertility drops off significantly after 35, and again after 40, so best to get going as soon as you can. There are definitely success stories around (think it's Smiling&Wishing who is now about to give birth and who got pg on 1st IUI at age 40) but the 'average' stats are not good once you pass 40, so def push forward as soon as you can

So sorry to be sounding rather negative, but better that than give you false expectations/hope - that said if you do find out you can get NHS funding, be sure to let us know as that could help others in the same situation   

Wishing you the very best of luck, there's huge amounts of wisdom and advice here on FF so do keep posting with your questions etc as you take your first steps...

Suitcase
x


----------



## Amittai

Hi Morigan and Lulumead,
Thanks so much for the quick replies and that is really really useful. You are shining stars!!
I've been trying to look up any official docs I can find on funding for singles, but of course, in reality, it seems it might be quite a different story to what I thought.
I did find a few articles (2 are here, but they ARe 2006, so a lot has probably changed since then) saying that the NHS were starting to offer funding for gay couples and singles. Considering our govt as finally officially recognised gay partnerships, it would make sense that they offer the same services to gay people.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/sperm-amp-the-single-girl-468692.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-421660/Lesbians-single-mums-IVF-NHS.html

I'm hetro, but it seems we are in a similar boat, as you say, its a bit difficult to say we've been trying to concieve for the last 6 months!
Then when I look at PCT's in London, eg Barts or Kings College, they seem, on their website to be quite progressive:
eg Kings: Who we treat:
couples
single women
same-sex couples
HIV-positive men and women...
then some of them also show some waiting list info for Private vs NHS.
I guess what they dont specifically say is which things are available for couples vs non-couples on NHS.

But thats really good to know about at least maybe getting the tests done on the NHS, that at least saves a fair chunk.
I think I'll try for an NHS deal to start with, I'll also try contacting some PCT's myself, and if thats a total no go, then I think I'll look more at the overseas threads, I did read with some interrest a bit about the Czech one.
I'm not massively worried about unknown donor issue, as I believe in nurture being stronger than nature etc etc, but of course its a definite nice to have.
So maybe what I must have ready for my Friday app is to know which tests I need, and maybe take some printed info from the PCT sites which might help in evidence for a referral.
I actually did recently have a bunch of blood tests for something else, which all came up clear, maybe some of those would count towards the ones I need too.

thanks a log both for the info, and just like the reality check, I can see its a long shot, and i need to be open minded etc and be prepared to lay out cash, but at least I know that its best to get going and not delay, that in itself is really useful.

LuluMead - I see you had something or other done on the 19th, so good luck with the wait for the next step on that one, I hope it goes well and is succesful.
Morigan - I am not sure I understand yet quite where you are in your plans, but good luck too, I wish you all the best luck in the world.

thanks so much both, I'm off to look at the Czech info and stuff...

take care, and thanks again. rock'n roll.

/links


----------



## Amittai

Thanks also to Suitcase of Dream, awesome. Looks like you got a lot of knowledgable experience so thanks for re-iterrating.
At least I know now that what ever I happen to get out of the NHS will be a bonus. 
So thank too.. cheers in anticipation and good luck and all the best to you too suitcase of dreams.

ps- I wonder if this makes a difference in terms of genes - my mom easily easily got preggy quite a few times, with her last one being born when she was 43 i think, although she had had quite a few before that, and she also came from a big family and is a natural twin, and then my sister fell pregnant 1st time twice naturally, though she was only 31 32.. so maybe that stands me in good stead for natural fertility in the genes, even though i realise my age is not in my favour..  (well, even if none of that counts, at least I can use it for the 'hope and good luck bank' !!)


----------



## suitcase of dreams

No problem!

Difficult to say re genetics - my sister had 3 kids no problem between the age of 32 and 36. I started trying at 37 and it's taken me 3 yrs+ and a LOT of treatment to get to this point. But you never know...hopefully a good sign that your mum had her last at 43. 

Good luck with it all - and do keep us posted if you get any good news from the NHS   

Suitcase
x


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## bingbong

I'd suggest asking you gp about checking that your tubes are clear if you're going for IUI. As Lulu said might be worth saying that you've tried to get pregnant in a relationship before to support you needing it done. Good luck! 

Bingbong x


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## wishing and dreaming

Hi there everyone, 
I have posted on the IUI thread before but felt that as a single woman this might be a good place to get some support and to know that I am not alone in deciding to become a mum with having a partner. 
I am 32 and I am sooooo lucky as I already have a DS who is nearly 3. He was conceived at home with AI using anonymous Donor sperm, I was lucky enough to get pregnant on my first attempt. I know I should be grateful for the fact I have a child, and I am but there is also a huge yearning for another child and to provide my son with a brother or sister. Due to the changes in the law I am going to be trying DIUI in January. I am excited and scared and flit between saying to myself that it might not ever work (as I only have limited funds and cannot keep trying and trying) and then saying try to be positive and picturing myself with another little baby!!! 
I am currently waiting for my AF to start but as it is due on new years eve I think I might miss this cycle due to the clinic closing! and will therefore prob start on the next cycle at the end of January. I am feeling really weird as I so want to actually start treatment but also scared incase it doesn't work and I have to face up to the fact my son will be an only child. 

Sorry for going on and on, its actually really good to be able to blurt it all out . 
I hope everyone here had a great Christmas and that 2011 brings us all luck and happiness wherever we are or whatever we are doing. thanks for listening. 
K x


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## indekiwi

Welcome to Amittai and Wishing&Dreaming.   

Just to add to one of Suity's earlier posts on single women undergoing tx (treatment) with the NHS, from memory there have been two women who managed to have a cycle of tx on the boards, but both had extenuating circumstances.  I think the lady in Wales was able to proceed on the basis that her husband had sadly passed away but had left sperm samples for her to undergo tx.  The second - Esperanza - was able to have tx due to diagnosed fertility issues (and had already had a number of unsuccessful attempts).  Unfortunately, even for PCTs that might otherwise be sympathetic to single women with respect to fertility tx, the recent budge cutbacks have had an impact across the board and a number of PCTs are not currently offering NHS tx for anyone, regardless of their circumstances.    However, on the basis that if you don't ask, you don't get, it's always worth asking the question at least.  

W&D, there are a number of ladies posting on the singles board who have recently had their second donor conceived babies (Aweeze, Estelle, me), are pregnant with their second (Some1, Coco Chanel, Grace), or are currently trying (Bethany915).  Wishing you lots of luck as you try for number 2.   

A-Mx


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## smilingandwishing

Hi Ladies

Indie - How are you?  I think you've got me and Wishing and Dreaming mixed up.    I'm two weeks away from due date and my mind would blow if I thought about number two at this point.  

Welcome to Wishing and Dreaming and Ammitia. Ammitia - congrats on making the decision to move forward with treatment.  I wish you all the very best of luck.  I did speak with my GP about the possibility of NHS funded treatment when I was 38. They were unable to help me because they didn't fund women over 36 and they also needed proof of infertility.  My GP did though allow me to have some of the screening tests on the nhs, which helped with costs.

Wishing and Dreaming - best of luck to you too. Having read posts from many women wanting to have their second child, the urge and desire seems just as strong as wanting the first. I think you'll find a not of support on FF from women in the same position and experiencind the same fears and anxieties.


Hope you're all well and here's hoping that 2011 brings wonderful things.

Smiling xx


----------



## Amittai

Hi again ladies, and also to smilingandwishing and bingbong and wishingand dreaming and indekiwi,

Thanks so much for all this great instant info, its amazing and hello to other information foragers. I have 2 more questions, if you dont mind.

Ok, so for me, and many, I guess I am pretty much having to rule out NHS (but will still try of course) so I think I will probably go for an overseas deal, its really fortunate that we have that option.

My question is - and I'm jumping the gun here, is say it works out with the overseas method, then at what point can you go onto the NHS and be treated as a 'normal'? so for like checking that the kid is growing properly and is healthy etc etc. or do you have to do all of that privately? Is it best not to tell your GP that you are going overseas? Obviously it depends on the GP, but is there any rule of thumb about this? or do you suggest to just go ahead and then (if  lucky) just go and inform GP (sort of like a 'normal' person)? And then if, say, you have problems or concerns along the way, can you go to the NHS or would you have to go private for that as well?

Finally, if the overseas clinic want to contact your GP (if that ever happens?) then is that just normal? or would i need to warn my GP? - as it wont be a PCT/ clinic from the UK, so there might be issues with divulging info.

I hope that makes sense.. but those are just some things I was wondering, especially as I'm going to try to get at least my innitial tests done by my GP / NHS, and want to keep on her side, and dont want to be too cheeky!

thanks again and awesome about the 2 weeks S&W, that is really fantastic. Respect!


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## morrigan

If this helps- I went to my GP and asked for her support and for her to do basic tests- to be honest she didn't really care where i had my treatment- she said once i was pregnant that I would be treated as any other pregnant woman. I actually went to the bodyclock foundation and paid £350 for a consultation, ultra sound scan and amh level but to be honest I could of achieved the same cheaper and the consult wasn't hugely helpful but I hadn't discovered FF then so your well ahead!

It gets slightly more complicated if your treatment becomes compicated but fingers crossed it will be plain sailing.

Most of the foreign clinics will do an email of telephone consultation and won't need to contact GP. I started my treatment in Denmark and they needed sexual health screening which I got my local GUM clinic to do- I went for normal screening and told them what I was doing and which tests- I just had to pay to have test results in writing. Once i had my telephone consult with dannish clinic (unmedicated iui) I just peed ovulation test stick until i got positive rang them up booked a flight and off I popped - that easy.  I would recomend ordering some internet cheapie ovulation sticks from internet and test for a whole cycle now so that you start to get an idea about your cycle.

If you have a medicated cycle abroad you will have to sort drugs and ultrasounds out but if you look at the international boards theres plenty of information for the main clinics- Denmark, reprofit (czech reppublic) on how to sort.

I might be worth reading a few of the iui diaries in the treatment section- it gives you a rough idea of the ups and downs !- the link to my last one is in my signature.


----------



## lulumead

Hi Amittai,


Once you are pregnant then you can become an NHS patient    Should be no reason why they won't treat you once you are.
xx


----------



## indekiwi

Smiling - sorry mate - see what happens with two kids - brain does loops just getting me to stand up straight let alone think!   I will go back and amend my post.  Two weeks to go and I'm hoping your birth experience is exactly as you described a week or two back.   

Amittai, as soon as you are pregnant you can rock up to your local surgery.  If you don't want to, you have no need to tell anyone how you have conceived your baby, whether it was here or abroad.  However, it it touch and go whether your GP would prescribe you medications that often need to be taken for the first trimester (eg progesterone) if you have had private tx - some do, some don't.  Even if you do tell your GP the method of conception, they cannot turn your baby away, nor will they deny you standard pregnancy services (eg 12 and 20 week scans).  You should be aware however that GPs are just people at the end of the day - some are very professional and don't make any personal judgments, while others are a disgrace to the profession and are very open in venting their personal views on others' private family creation decisions.  It really depends on how open you wish to be about it all - certainly, there is no medical reason for disclosure except potentially for those using donor eggs and wishing to have nuchal scans (where the egg donor's age, and not your own, is required for an "accurate" reading).  I wasn't treated abroad so can't answer your other question but someone else will be along I'm sure who can be definitive.

A-Mx


----------



## Amittai

Hi LuluMead, Morigan and IndeKiwi, thanks again for quick info, that is really useful indeed and some good news in my books.
I am definitly going to look at the iui diaries in the treatment section, cheers, and thanks for the tip on cheapie ovulation sticks, I didnt even know such things existed! (learning curve..)
Will also have a look at the Denmark option, so far I've been reading the Czech one, and the costs are far more user friendly than the UK, and would seem to allow for some UK tests too, or emergency whatevers,  if required.
Over and out for now, thankssss again.. i really appreciate this, its like really the best abd I think helps me a lot already in my approach and plan.
maybe one day i can offer some advice too, one day, we shall see!


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## caramac

Welcome to the boards Amittai and Wishing and Dreaming!

Amittai - I had IUI treatment over at Reprofit in the Czech Republic and can say that it was definitely a good clinic to use, the doctors and staff are lovely, the clinic clean and professional and the costs very appealing! The only downside is that you do have to be quite proactive with your own treatment as you tend to get only one word answers back from the doctors! But then most of your questions you can ask on the boards (here or the Reprofit specific boards over on the Czech thread) and get the answers you need.

Something to bear in mind before you make contact with Reprofit is that officially it's illegal for the clinics to treat single women in the CR, but you can get round this situation by emailing Stepan direct (I'm sure you'll come across his email on one of the boards or feel free to PM me for it) and just don't mention the fact that you're single. Just say you want to do IUI treatment with donor sperm.

I didn't have a consult with them before I started treatment, nor did I have time to monitor my cycles with pee sticks - mainly because I started a lot sooner than I was expecting. With my first treatment I just emailed Stepan to advise him of my wish to do IUI with donor sperm, confirmed the prices etc, and told him I'd be in touch as soon as AF arrived. Then when it did I emailed him and he advised to have an ultrasound scan on day 10, then on the basis of the result of the US scan he advised which date would be best for taking a pregnyl shot to stimulate ovulation and then IUI was 24 hours later.

You can have your US scans done here in the UK if you have a clinic nearby - but obviously you pay for them. If you have it done at Reprofit there is no extra charge. On my first go I decided to fly out to Brno on day 9 - have my scan at Reprofit and stayed out there until day 14. Mainly because I had no idea about my cycle and wanted to make life easy on myself. The next two goes I did the US scan here in the UK and then flew out on day 11/12 as I knew my cycle a bit better by then.

You can also have a think about whether you would like to do medicated or unmedicated IUI. As I had no idea about my fertility but wanted to give myself the best option I decided to start with medicated, which meant taking Clomid for five days at the beginning of my cycle. The option is to take 50mg or 100mg a day, I decided to go for the lower dose as didn't want to risk overstimulating myself.

Stepan can email you a prescription for the medication (Clomid and Pregnyl shots) and you can either get it fulfilled by the Reprofit clinic (which is cheap but you have to pay for shipping) or from one of the UK pharmacies that deal with email prescriptions - see the sticky thread on the Czech board for details.

Although I did order the vials of pregnyl I hated the thought of injecting myself so I always made sure I was over at Reprofit for the time I needed the shot! Again there is no extra charge for this if you have it done out there.

Hope all that helps a bit...if you have any other questions about IUI at Reprofit there are quite a few of us on here who have done this or are doing it at the moment and we'd all be happy to help with any questions you might have!


----------



## Amittai

Hi Caramac


Thanks so much for this, its really useful , it helps to picture the process. I found the email addy for Stephan so I have that ready, and have also found the list of tests he requires on the site. So I’m going to take those with me to my GP tomorrow, and have also made a list from looking at the posts.
I can see that there is lots of  self planning / initiative  involved, but there is so much info on these boards that I think that is not insurmountable. (talking without experience here of course!)

Just to check – when exactly is Day 1 in the cycle? And what is AF?
I also have no clue about my fertility etc, so I think your tip on going medicated to start with is a good one, I’ll ask for that.
I also like your approach of going out for a few days longer the first time, to be sure. I think I’m in the same boat, I’ve never actually really bothered to know when my cycle starts, it just happens. So I guess I need to get to know that too. But am going to try and get the sticks too, may as well... seeing as i know about it now.

thanks so much Caramac for the offer to of pm’ing you into note to Stephan. I might take you up on that. What I am going to do is go to my GP app, and also get my head around everything a bit more and then email him next week some time hopefully.

One other thing is that about a 18 months ago I had CIN3, and I had to have a procedure to remove the cells from my cervex, but since then its all been ok, I’ve had regular check ups. I have a final coloscopy check up at Barts on 24 Jan, so I’m going to use that opportunity as well to ask them to do some checks etc, they are really sweet in that dept at Barts, and as they will already be taking photo’s with their special camera,  they might be ok with just giving me some feedback (and that’s on the NHS). I am hoping that history is not going to be an issue as it was note a major procedure and they said its quite common.

Scans – yip, I can do them here if need be, there are plenty clinics around near by for me.

Thanks so much Caramac, I see you got lucky on your 3rd attempt, that is great! Though you are miles younger than me, but still, its good news. I like these signatures, wow, 29 weeks and 6days is a brilliantly long time..

thanks again. cheers


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Welcome to the thread day 1 is the first day of your period (AF) it is the first day of full flow, and if it starts after midday (a few clinics say 1500, so check) the following day is day one (or cd 1).

Here's a link to the shortcuts and abbrev you'll see in posts http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.0

There will be threads on here for women who have had CIN3 and colp for this.
Good Luck and also trying to get funding on NHS!! I think the lady that did get it was from Wales, usually it is couples and lesbian couples who get funding- some GP's will help with bloods and drugs.

Ask when you go to Barts if you can have a full sexual health screen as you will need the HIV, Hep B an C bloods, plus STI screens if not your local GUM clinic will often do this for you free.- saves a few hundred pounds!

L x


----------



## caramac

Thanks Amittai! Yes it was third time lucky for me although I have to say I very nearly didn't bother with that third attempt as I'd had my AMH results back after my second attempt and they looked quite poor so was going to move on to IVF next. Really didn't think IUI was going to work for me so almost cancelled that third go but didn't in the end....luckily!!!

AF stands for Aunt Flo I believe = your period! So day 1 of your cycle is the day you start your period. Generally that was the day that I went ahead and booked everything - scan (if doing it in the UK), flights and accommodation in Brno, car parking at Stansted, etc. I would email Stepan to let him know I was on day 1 and that I'd be back in touch after 10 day scan results...or to let him know when I'd be arriving in Brno and ask him to book me in for a scan at the clinic if I was flying out earlier.

I got some pee sticks and digital fertility monitor too with the aim of trying to learn about my cycle - but never ended up getting a chance to use them as I started treatment right away. To be honest, I'm not sure whether they're really necessary if you're having scans on day 10 anyway, as the scan will tell the clinic/doctors all they need to know about how things are progressing. And the pregnyl shot stimulates ovulation, so it's all quite controlled for timing IUI. Although obviously it's still a bit hit and miss as to whether it actually works!

Definitely a good idea to get the docs at Barts to have a good look around inside you since they're in there already!


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the boards Amittai and Wishing & Dreaming. You have already had loads of useful info that I don't think I can add to, but I wanted to wish you both luck for your respective journeys.

Lou-Ann x


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## Teela

Welcome to FF Amittai and WFD, I hope you find everything your looking for on these wonderful boards.
I am heading out to Czech in Feb for my first visit, had all my treatment in the UK up to now.

Good luck with your respective journeys

Teela
x


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## Amittai

Hello everyone, and also to JJ1 and Teela and Lou-Ann for also popping in. 
Good luck on your journey's, I've been reading the stages on your signatures and its amazing how different everyone's path is. Thanks for the link to the acronyms, i keep chuckling at them.

I just wanted to update on my situation, I went to my GP this morning to basically see what I could possibly get on the NHS, turns out a bit of a no-go. The Doc, although she has been very helpful in terms of other things, just seemed totally uninterrested and it seems (to me at least) that she didnt know much about this whole deal (or she was suspending judgement, i dont know)
Anyway, she said she couldnt offer anything other than some swabs which are standard. (I was a bit nervous so didnt think to ask here exactly what swabs refers to, I also forgot to show her my list I had printed out so that she could read it and tell me what is standard on the list.. silly!!!!)
So anyway, I explained that some of the PCT's do actually say on their sites that they will see patients on the NHS if referred by the GP, and that the NICE guidelines do indicate that single women or gay women 'may' recieve treatment below a certain age at the discretion of the GP etc.
So she said, well if the PCT (Barts being my local) says they will treat NHS then she will happliy do a referral, I should let her know. Though I am not hopeful to be honest.
So I am going to contact Barts anyway, and ask them if they will at least do the tests, if my GP refers me, and try and get around it that way, as a last ditch attempt.

So, now, what I wanted to check - I'm trying to get my list of tests I will need and should have, and wondered if someone can please comment. I am planning at this stage of using Reporfit for my treatment post tests.
This is what I have:

REPROFIT Requirements:
FSH, LH and oestradiol levels between cycle day 1-4
Progesterone level between cycle day 21-23
Prolactin level
Transvaginal ultrasound (presence of cysts, myomas, polyps, &#8230
Did you undergo hysterosalpingography? (X ray examination concerning oviduct patency). What was the diagnosis? (Oviduct patency/non-patency)
Screening tests: HIV , Hep A/B, Chlamydia
Outcomes of any other relevant examinations:&#8230;.

Other that have been recommended/found in posts: 
- HSG: Check Clear Tubes Pre-conception Screen
- Some places say check Oestrodial Levels AND Progesterone, but Reprofit only says Progesterone. ??
- 'Basic Fertility tests' - is that different to the above list of tests or health screen?
- Full Sexual Health Screen - seems to be about £300 at a GUM Clinic

------
Am I missing anything? Does anything stand out as basically a typical NHS test to you? 
Finally, if it turns out that I need to pay for all the tests, then do I say in the appointment that I just want all the tests and thats all, and not elaborate, or do I say I want all the tests so that I can get treatment elsewhere?
I'm not quite sure how to approach that bit of it.
Sorry if these are obvious or silly questions, but I am not the best at thinking on my feet, so I'm trying to just be prepared.

Thanks everyone, and Caramac, 70 days today WootwooT!
W&D hope things are good with you.

cheers xx


----------



## Amittai

oops, I just re-read posts and Suitcase has already said:
"What your GP can do for you is some of the basic tests for free - for example FSH/LH etc to check your basic fertility levels (only a guideline but good to know), and potentially also some of the screening tests which all clinics will request/charge for - eg HIV, hep A/B, chlamydia etc"

So that helps already. in my information gathering... sorry!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi there,

re your GP not knowing much/not being interested, this is very common. I was lucky the first time as I saw a newly qualified GP who was extremely sympathetic, did lots of research for me (lists of clinics etc) and agreed to do most of the tests I needed. Since then (she left the practice) I have had no support at all from my GP, in fact I'd go as far as to say I've had the opposite with one (female incidentally and you'd think they'd be more understanding?) GP even telling me I was mad to have treatment abroad at some 2nd rate Eastern European clinic (her words not mine needless to say) and did I not realise the risks I was taking with my health. You just have to do your own research, be sure of your decisions and then rise above any negativity encountered along the way....

Anyway, back to the tests. GPs not obliged to do this on the NHS but if you can persuade them then all of these should be easily do-able via GP:
FSH, LH and oestradiol levels between cycle day 1-4
Progesterone level between cycle day 21-23
Prolactin level
HIV , Hep A/B, Chlamydia

If GP won't help, local GUM clinic should be able to do HIV , Hep A/B, Chlamydia for free but I don't think they will do the others so you will need to find private clinic to do for you - some will do even if you are not intending to have treatment there, others won't (so you may want to consider a few white lies at this point...) 

The ultrasound and/or HSG (hysterosalpingography) you are very unlikely to get on the NHS. I paid ca £400 for an HSG via a private clinic 
in London for this - worth it at the time as I was paying £1500 per cycle of IUI in the UK and it would have been mad to spend that much without knowing tubes OK. You can get HSG done MUCH cheaper at Reprofit so I would consider getting it done there before you do your first IUI. Added benefit then is you can check out the clinic, meet the doctors and get to grips with the travel logistics etc before you do it 'for real'. You can also pick up any meds you need (if you are doing medicated IUI) from their local pharmacy which is again cheaper than UK

'basic fertility tests' is the FSH/LH/prolactin/progesterone etc, plus some consider the HSG a basic test too as for IUI to succeed you need clear tubes....

Other tests which it may be worth getting are TSH for thyroid (under/over active thyroid can have big impact on ability to conceive) and CMV status (CMV is a virus which can have significant effects on the foetus if contracted during pregnancy. If you are CMV positive, which many people are, then nothing to worry about. If you are CMV negative, some clinics believe best to have CMV negative sperm donor - however the risks of infection from sperm donation are very very low and I don't think Reprofit worry about this so if you are definitely going there, you won't need it - some clinics, especially in UK, insist on it though)

Hope this helps
Suitcase
x


----------



## Amittai

That is brilliant info, thank you suitcase!
i also really like the idea of getting the ultrasound and/or HSG (hysterosalpingography) done at Reprofit - given what you paid (and I totally understand why you did it in the UK) then it makes total sense to get it done in CZ and check out the clinic etc. and pick up cheaper meds.
What also appeals that idea, as you say is the recce aspect, as I'm a bit of a slowby and take time to process things and absorb things, so seeing the place etc I think is a great idea.
Ok I have a good idea of where to go now and what approach to take. perfect.

I have another question - which I catn see on the Reprofit site, and havent yet managed to find on the boards, explicity, - 
in terms of the approach Reprofit takes on vetting sperm donors - obviously they test for any medical issues / viruses etc, that they can. But do you know if they have any other criteria? On the sites where you pay to choose  donor sperm (eg European Bank) they seem to need a PHD to be accepted! Obviously i dont expect that,  but I do wonder how they choose/accept a donor.
also in terms of 'matching' a donor, is it basically as simple as hair colour body type, maybe blood type,  or is there any other kind of matching that goes on, i dont know how to explain but I wonder if they know anything about the life of the person, do you know? Its just something I am wondering. I am in two minds about trying with like a known donor first, if I can, and then if I fail with those attempts I'll revert to Reprofit donor.  I'm just mulling that over a bit, its quite a challenge to the old value system!

Thanks again and I really really really appreciate the info.  
I think if I hadnt have been armed with what I have read so far from you guys, then I would have found the GP appointment quite a bit more disconcerting. But as it happened, I am actually ok with how it turned out, as I am lucky to have other options.
So thanks! Yay.  I feel a bit wierd getting all this info so kindly given from people I dont even know, so I just really appreciate it thanks.


----------



## some1

Welcome to the threads Amittai and Wishing & Dreaming - hope you can find all the information you need here.

Amittai - I had my basic tests done on the NHS without a problem (FSH, progesterone, Hepatitis/HIV/Chlamydia/CMV screen) and also had my HSG (hysterosalpingogram) done on the NHS too (but had to wait around 6 months for it - private is much quicker). 

Wishing&Dreaming - good luck with ttcing number 2.  I was first time lucky with DIUI this time around (took 5 goes to conceive my daughter).  Hope your clinic closure over new year doesn't affect treatment.

Some1

xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Amittai - sperm donors at Reprofit are screened for all the basic health conditions/medical issues as they would be in any clinic/sperm bank
In terms of matching criteria - you are given the following information: age, height, weight, hair & eye colour and blood type
I can't recall if you also get level of education, I think you might do
Usually you get offered between 2 and 4 donors to choose from after you tell them roughly the criteria you are looking for - so for eg say I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes, I might be offered 4 donors with this colouring but different ages, heights/weights/blood groups and then I pick the one I prefer
You don't get any info about their hobbies, lifestyle, reason for donating etc etc, and they remain totally anonymous - neither you nor the child will ever be able to find out any further info

Sperm banks like ESB and Xytec give you MUCH more information including photos of donors as baby/child, sometimes an audio tape of them speaking about who they are and why they are donating, info on hobbies, job etc, details of medical background and basic physical characteristics of family etc, and you can also get 'ID release' donors who are willing to be contacted by the child when they turn 18.
Of course you pay a much higher price for ESB/Xytec and need to account for shipping costs too. It's a very personal decision and you need to weigh up the pros and cons for you and your child/children before making a decision

When I was using my own eggs for tx, I imported sperm from ESB because I wanted an ID release donor so the child would 'know' or at least have the option to know both biological parents (ie me and sperm donor). However, when all that failed and I moved to donor eggs as my own just didn't work, I decided to use anon sperm from Reprofit so that the egg and sperm donor were both anon - I did not want the option for the child to find out about one and not the other - ie if they could not find out about biological mother, I didn't want the option there to find out about biological father either. Impossible to know if this was the right decision for the child (or children in my case as I'm expecting twins!) but I made the best decision I felt I could under the circs. But like I say, it's such a personal decision and you just need to give yourself some time to think about it all...

Good luck with your next steps
Suitcase
x


----------



## Amittai

Ok great, thanks Suitcase, that helps, thats exactly just what i needed to know. 

one LAST question for no - say you buy a unit from a bank and get it shipped to Reprofit - how much exactly is in a unit? does it just give you one go ? or do you get a few goes out of one unit?
and if you get a few, then will Reprofit store the extra's for you? briefly how does that work?

I did email the ESB to ask,  its not in their FAQ or info,  but they havent replied yet.

I think you are so brave in your decisions you've made, it must be so difficult when you get to that stage, especially when you have to use both sperm and eggs, to finally actually say how you going to play it. I think, for what its worth, that you made a really good choice.  It might actually take a lot of pressure of you and the Kiddy to just know that searching for biological relatives is not an option and that they are a special creation. At least you still probably know which country the donor is from, so at least they know that most probably their heritage is half Land X and half Land Y, which I would think in itself might be of interrest, who knows... ?  quite a lot of food for thought and at least good to know Kiddy will probably know other similar kiddies so they wont be alone.

anywayz thanks!


----------



## Diesy

Hi Amittai,

How's it going?  You're in the right place here - info top notch!  And everyone is so lovely and supportive, I've had a heap of great replies  and really made to feel at home!!!

So, ESB.  I've just made a purchase with them that I am storing there momentarily.  Costs depend on whether you go for IUI (washed) - 350 euros or ICSI (unwashed) - 275 euros.  ICSI is cheaper and the clinic washes it anyway.  Mine was IUI just because that's all he had left.  The delivery to Reprofit is 300 euros and an extra 50 for paperwork or something.  They can ship in a week or so.  (I had a very interesting conversation with my credit card fraud department over the transaction   )  When are you thinking of sending to Reprofit - we might be able to share transport costs depending when you need it.  

One unit per treatment.

Is that it all for now?  Keep in touch re transport, I'm planning Feb but it's dependent on a man    ie Could be a bit last minute in my case but you never know we might be able to piggyback on shipping costs.

Welcome btw 
ttfn - Diesy


----------



## suitcase of dreams

As Diesy says, one unit per treatment....good idea to order 3 at a time though as otherwise you pay shipping costs each time...and if you are 1st time lucky you can store the other two for siblings in the future!
Reprofit will store at a very competitive price for you...

Several people have shared shipping costs so always worth posting on the Reprofit thread when you know when you want to ship it

Suitcase
x


----------



## Amittai

Hi Diesy and Suitcase, thanks!
Again! 

Ok great, so that makes sense for ESB. Actually I also had a look at these guys from Denmark: http://dk.cryosinternational.com/home.aspx
and they seem to be quite competative price wise, with shipping only being 160 Euros. Also you dont have to pay for the info on the donor, but you do pay extra if you actually choose a known donor as opposed to an anon one, even though you can still get info on the anon donor, which i thought was pretty good. 
I guess the costs for the IUI probably work out much of a muchness with ESB, sort of, at a glance. what i'm not sure about is if MOT5 is actually enough, or if its better to go for the 300 option.
IUI Ready 
MOT5 150
Mot10 300
Mot20 600
And then they say: For interuterine insemination.
"We recommend to use 1 or 2 x IUI-MOT5 straws or 1 x IUI-MOT10 straw per treatment. 
IUI-MOT20 or higher quality can be used, but this is in principle to "take a musket to kill a butterfly"."

I hadnt actually looked at the option of ICSI (unwashed) - if its cheaper and an option then thats definitly worth going for, thanks for pointing that out. cool. I must check that out..

Diesy - I'd be totally up to sharing shipping costs from one of those, if we can work something out, if its viable. Are you going for your first go? (depending on the man of course!) You seem quite clued up already.
my thinking at the moment is that I want to get my CIN3 final coloscopy check out the way on 24 Jan, and by then I will also have a better idea as to my cycles, i'll have dates for 3 months including Jan (cos i havent really paid much attention in the past - I'm a bit of a tomboy...) 
then i have a draft letter to Stephan and i want to go out sort of for whatever tests they can do for me (cos I am not hopeful about NHS at the moment) so I think that needs to co-incide with Day1-4 so like first part of Feb. hopefully. and also just like check out the place etc.
then, hopefully, all going well, I'd like to have my first go in March and then just maybe I'll have a nice suprise for my 40th in April!! who knows!
Having said that, if you are shipping in Feb, then I'm sure it would work out ok for me to ship at the same time and just like get it stored until i need it in March - or whenever...
So thats my plan!! I looked at the American site for donors but its just way too expensive, these other ESB and Cryos seem to be the most competative and look really nice too and seem to have a good track record on these boards, so a good sign!

Suitcase - thanks again too! hope you doing well and having a nice New Years Eve.

Diersy let me know how things work out for you and thanks for the potential offer to share shipping, and happy new year!

x
an


----------



## Diesy

Hi Amittai,

Keep in touch and maybe we can ship together.  The earliest I will ship is Feb.  I had a wee look at the other bank you've mentioned but I was really keen on a donor I found on ESB.  Plus, I think you need to check they do all the tests that Reprofit require.  I think they can do the extra tests but you'd need to check with them (cryos bank).

It's an interesting time, finding everything out on the boards - the girls on here have trained me up pretty well!  I consider myself entry level  

And Happy New Year - bound to be an interesting one!
Diesy


----------



## Amittai

HI Diesy,
thanks for this, cool beans
I also replied to your other msg, I think maybe the shipping might work out, after looking around again, I'm happy to go with ESB, so thats ok. But we can see...  Yay! thanks for posting about this.

I also sent you an idea/query on the Notary - but thought I'd put that here too in case anyone has experience in this, and in the event that it might help someone else too.

It seems from various posts on the boards,  that now for shipping to CZ, we need to have a Notary sign a consent form, this is a new law.
If its viable to do shared shipping, then I am hoping it might be possible to also use one consent form for the joint shipment rather than two - in case anyone knows? ... I can always ask Reprofit, but thought its worth checking here too.

cheerzzz.


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Amittai and Wishing & Dreaming

Everyone is really supportive so you have come to the right place for company on this journey.

Not sure if you have seen but we are planning a singles meet up on 13th Feb in London so if you would like to come and meet some of us face to face and have a chat it would be great to see you. Here's the thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=249687.0.

Last time we met up was at Strada at London Bridge. We met at midday for lunch and left at 7pm. It is for us singles out there and those singles who have bump and little ones so will be a mixture.

Good luck

F x


----------



## Amittai

Hi Fraggles,
Thanks for this, yes I would love to come along, sounds awesome. 
I'll reply on that thread too, thanks, and I hope your tests and thingz turn out ok, I see you are waiting to hear back. no shortage of obstacles it seems on these journeys.  In fact I've just been reading the diaries and things and I had no idea how much some ladies actually go through, in taking this path, its really quite humbling, and emotional, even just reading about it. I must say, I am in awe, and certainly, I am now under no illusion that this is likely not to be easy!!  but, its ok. its good.
Thanks again Fraggles, and everyone else  It will be grand to meet some of you and any little people too..


----------



## snowberry

Hello to everyone. 
I have just had IVF at the age of 42 with my own eggs (single person). I am currently in my 2 week wait.    It is great to know that there are so many other people out there in the same situation. It is making me feel much better...
Best of luck to everyone who is waiting. 
Katie x


----------



## DZWSingleMumma

Welcome to FF!  How exciting on your IVF. I wish you luck.  There are so many great women on here with so much experience.  

You are in good company!

Dawn


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Snowberry and welcome to FF! You have come to the right place for support, info and advice. Good luck for your 2ww   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Hi snowberry great to see you posting wishing you well on you 2ww- when is your test date? Where did you have your treatment?


----------



## ambergem

Good luck Katie !! And welcome to FF  Where are you based? Maybe you could join us at the meet in London on 13th Feb?

Linz xx


----------



## some1

Welcome Snowberry and good luck for your 2 week wait     

Some1

xx


----------



## GIAToo

Hi Snowberry

Nice to see you posting over here!   

Good luck with this cycle - 2WW is torture isn't it?   

Take care
GIA Toxxx


----------



## kizzi79

Hi Snowberry

Good luck        - there are several of us cycling or getting ready to ivf cycle at the mo - lets hope we all get that much  wanted bfp!

How are you feeling? When  are you due to test?

Love Krissi xx


----------



## Sima

Welcome and good luck


----------



## acrazywench

Welcome Snowberry. Sending you lots of      for your 2ww.

x


----------



## Marra

Hello everyone

This is my first post to fertility friends…  I’ve been absorbing very helpful information here for a while but wanted to post to join in and say hello. I’ve done several cycles of treatment, the most recent of which was IVF which has unfortunately failed – 7 week scan showed an empty sac (expected this due to low hcg results, but it was still upsetting). I have 2 frozen embryos and am planning to try a cycle with them in April, however as I’ve now had 3 miscarriages I’m beginning to think my eggs are past their best and am looking into donor eggs / embryos too. I see several people here use Reprofit so will look into that further – thanks for posting the details about that on this thread.

I’m sure I have loads of questions, but first of all I wondered if anyone could put me in the right direction to find out more about any tests I could have done about immune issues – I have read some info about this and am worrying I might also have problems in this area, causing embryos to be rejected.

Thanks, and lots of best wishes to everyone

Marra


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Marra and welcome to the board   . Sorry to hear that your previous tx's haven't worked   .  I'm sure that there will be more knowledgeable ladies along soon to help you with your queries about Reprofit and immune issues, but I wanted to wish you luck with your journey.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## GIAToo

Marra,

Welcome to the boards and so sorry to hear about your miscarriages   
I am no expert, but would say that it may be worth you looking into the whole immunes thing. Have a look at the board on immunes (Link below) which has 3 sticky threads at the top to give you lots of information.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=52.0

If you've had 3 miscarriages your GP should refer you to a specialist, don't know if you've been referred yet?

There is also a single girls meet up on Sunday 13th February if you fancy meeting a few people face to face - it's in London so not sure where your based. Again, here is the link with all the info:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=249687.0

Take care hun and hope that helps a bit  

GIA Tooxxx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Marra - you've really had a rough time by the sounds of it. 

The FAQ on the immunes thread giatoo mentioned is great place to start. I don't know where in the country you are - I am been treated by Dr Gorgy in London as are several of us on here. You can be treated by him for immune issues and cycle somewhere else.

I would recomend dr beers - is your body baby friendly book as it goes through all the immune stuff.

Good luck with the next step.


----------



## Marra

Thank so much for the nice welcomes, info and for the link to the Immune thread - that will be very helpful. I'm based in London so will check out the thread about meeting up as well; I'd love to come.  I've just been referred to a recurrent miscarriage specialist but the appointment prob won't be for 3 months and I'm not sure what they will test for. My fertility centre consultant said he had run some blood tests after my 2nd miscarriage - think this was for blood clotting and general hormone levels which seem to be fine but to be honest I find it difficult to pin down exact results at my very busy fertility clinic.

lots of warm wishes 
marra


----------



## luisap

Hi everyone, I'm new here. Hoping to start IVF at the Lister as a single woman. Am a complete mess at the moment, can't stop worrying about it all. Good luck to all you single girls out there. Luisa


----------



## Bethany915

Hi Luisa

Welcome to the singles newbies board.  Try not to worry too much - it can be a difficult journey, but everyone here is so friendly, and if you need a question answered, chances are someone on here will be able to answer it   .  Let us know if there are any specific questions you are worried about.

Good luck - when are you starting at the Lister?

B xx


----------



## some1

Hello and welcome Luisa!  Glad you have found us.  Sorry you are feeling so worried, I think we can all identify with feeling that way at the start   

Some1

xx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Luisa,

Welcome to the singlelies board, you are in very good company, this is what I have found anyways.  I've not made it for treatment yet, keep meeting blokes, but I do have my 'daddy on ice' as I call him.  As soon as I purchased him I seem to be uninitiated with...dates!

Anyways, you'll find more than you ever need to know on here, it's an amazing voyage of discovery    And just lovely to find some pals who are working on the same trip!

Diesy


----------



## luisap

Going to the Lister tomorrow and hope to start asap. Need to buy sperm, but not even sure what to look for in a donor. How have you girls done it? It feels so weird not knowing the person that may give you a baby. I never really wanted to do this alone, hoped to meet Mr Right and have a family, but will be 41 next month and don't feel I can wait any longer or it may never happen. Am scared ****less about being a single mum, but more scared of not ever being one. So many emotions and the journey hasn't even started.


----------



## Diesy

Hey Luisa,

I feel the exact same myself.  This weekend I was feeling like it was hopeless, money, family support etc.  I think it's the same for everyone in our shoes.    I decided to pick my donor as close a physical match to my favourite boyfriend.  Then I went for intelligence.  It didn't actually take that long, I found him fast but then took ages to commit to it.  I actually got attached quite quick to him, it's weird.  I sat down with a beer, it was just like dating haha!

I think it's an adjustment too.  Getting over that whole thing where we think it's a terrible thing.  I feel just the same.  Like why am I signing up for the torture.  There are heaps of people on here, and everywhere that make it work.  I can't imagine not going ahead now (if it doesn't look like  it's working out with the bloke.)  I consciously blocked out the people who were negative about it.  My family don't know, well not for sure.  They would not be supportive and I can't trust them not to stress me out.

Mmm...I think it's all natural what you are feeling.
Diesy 

PS  Good luck with the Lister tomorrow - let us know how you go!


----------



## some1

Luisa - how did your appointment go today?  hope you got on well and now have a plan of action. 

Re donor choice - I wasn't really offered much in the way of choice, all that really mattered was that colouring fitted in with me/my family, I wasn't too bothered about intelligence/education as I believe that a lot of that is down to nurture/life opportunities rather nature/genetics.  

Becoming a single mum is scary, terrifying even...   but I don't think that there is a single one of us single mummies by choice who regret it at all.  I am so glad I took the plunge, being a mummy has transformed my life and made me so happy.   

I think it is important to have a support network around you though (my parents have been a great help to me), if you don't have a support network around you now, you can still build one up on your journey to mummyhood - there is loads of support from the girls on here and you meet loads of new people once you become a parent, I have made several new friends through baby groups and we give each other both practical and emotional support.

Some1

xx


----------



## Diesy

some1 said:


> I am so glad I took the plunge, being a mummy has transformed my life and made me so happy.


Love it, Some1!


----------



## Melawen

Hi - just wanted to say hello   and say that after two years of thinking and pondering and thinking again (!) I began sniffing the down-reg drugs last night - wow!

It's scary and wonderful and amazing and I just don't know what's going to happen next!!  My family are very supportive although two of my brothers are very concerned for me and worried that I wont be able to cope by myself (of course, being deaf probably doesn't help ease their minds!)

It's a journey and half isn't it!? I am looking forward to it all.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hello and welcome Melawen, 

and congratulations on taking the plunge    
Good to hear that your family are supportive, and there's no reason to think that you won't cope - deaf or not. Do you mostly sign or are you oral? My nieces and nephew are deaf/hearing impaired - the older 2 have cochlear implants now and are in mainstream education and doing well. The youngest still gets benefit from hearing aids and is learning to talk....through them I've met lots of deaf people with children and they cope just like everyone else does, so I'm sure you've nothing to worry about   

wishing you the very best of luck with it, feel free to jump in and post on any of the threads, and if you have any questions, just ask away   

Suitcase
x


----------



## Melawen

Hi Suitcase and thanks -  I think that my brothers are just concerned for me which I appreciate, but they think that I don't know what it's going to be like!!  erm.....do you really think that I haven't researched this topic inside out and back to front!!

I am quite oral although I am learning BSL at the moment - my hearing aids are fantastic and I generally get on pretty well!  I will have a rummage around the forums and see what I can find out about things!

Melawen.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

I suppose it's nice that they are concerned...I think people tend to forget that when you go about it the way we do, we do so much preparation and research that we know a lot more than most couples who decide to start a family!

I did my level 1 and 2 BSL last year and the year before but haven't gone any further with it...it's something I hope to come back to one day though... As said, my nieces and nephews don't really need sign language now they are getting on so well with hearing aids/implants, but in the earlier days it was very useful and even now the occasional sign helps if they are not understanding something 

Suitcase
x


----------



## lulumead

Hello Melawen - how exciting to have got going    wishing you lots of luck.


Keep missing this thread so hello to anyone else new that I've missed.
xxx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the boards Melawen. Good luck with your tx   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## morrigan

welcome melawen- luisap hows it going?


----------



## CynthiaRose

Hi everyone

I just wanted to say hi properly, as I have posted a couple of times. Planning to start treatment in June. Hugely excited, but a bit scared and not yet quite sure what my chances are as I think I have PCOS and need to find out if I ovulate. 

I hope everyone is well today!


----------



## Matilda7

Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd introduce myself too.  I'm very much at the "thinking about it" stage at the moment and have been for about 18 months.  I only found this site a couple of days ago and have been inspired already by the stories here and overwhelmed at how much information there is.  I hope you'll all bear with me as I will probably have a lot of questions once I get my head around it a bit more!

xx


----------



## bingbong

Hello and welcome Cynthia and Matilda   , it's a great site and there is so much info and support. Feel free to ask any questions that you have   

Cynthia I have PCOS and as you can see it didn't stop me from getting pregnant   

bingbong x


----------



## CynthiaRose

Thanks Bing Bong! I am just umming and aahing over medicated or natural insemination - assuming I ovulate (haven't had the test yet) do you think it's worth trying a natural cycle? I am worried about multiple pregnancy as a single person! 

Any thoughts on the best way to go?


----------



## Matilda7

Thanks for the welcome *bingbong.* There's just so much whizzing through my head at the moment that I'm not really sure where to start. One of my biggest concerns is whether I'd be able to afford to both go through the treatments and to raise a child on my own - are there any threads here focusing on financial matters? I know everyone's situations are obviously different, but is there a "ball park" figure I should be looking at having to save up? (If it helps - my initial thoughts are that I'd be going down the IUI route, I'm 30 and as far as I'm aware don't have any issues with my fertility - have always had regular cycles, etc).


----------



## CynthiaRose

eeek - sorry about the multiple post!


----------



## bingbong

lol cynthia, not sure how you managed all those posts   . It's a hard call with medicated or not and everyone has different reasons for trying one or the other. I'd suggest getting some tests done first and tracking your cycles to see if they're regular and if you ovulate. You can get ovulation tests cheap on ebay but for people with PCOS they sometimes don't work, they didn't for me but the clearblue fertility monitor picked up my hormone levels ok. If your GP will test your progesterone levels that will also give you an idea of whether you ovulate or not. Someone who knows more than me will be along soon I'm sure to tell you more about blood tests. There is a risk of multiple births if you try medicated, I decided to take the risk and had 100mg clomid and ended up with twins, they are wonderful but very hard work so it isn't something to go into lightly as a single person.

Matilda I think that money is a big worry for many people on this site, and probably more so for many singles. I know that for me it was a big concern and I had to think about whether I'd spend my savings on tx (treatment) trying to get pregnant and then have none for when I had the baby (or babies as it turned out). I was lucky and got pregnant on my third IUI. I'm not aware of any specific thread that talks about a figure of money that you should have saved, it's so hard to know as the amount that people end up spending varies wildly. It sounds like you shouldn't have much trouble getting pregnant but you never know. Wish I could tell you a figure but I can't. Do ask any questions you have though.

bingbong x


----------



## CynthiaRose

The post wouldn't submit, so i tried another couple of times and it turns out it already had!

Thanks Bingbong - just started on the ovulation testing, so hopefully that will give me some idea about whether I am ovulating regularly - my periods are regular, but who knows about the rest! 

Difficult decision to make! I will keep thinking.


----------



## morrigan

welcome cynthia and matilda- I agree money is the route of all evil ! I do firmly believe that if anyone sat down and thought about the cost of a baby they would never do it.

I am afraid money has led my descion to have treatment abroad and the type of donor but then again I turned out to have fertility problems so treatment is bankrupting me lol! I have got enough money in a bank so I can buy baby basics if it works. I will get some maternity leave form work and the rest I will work out if it happens. What ever you decided dont bank on one treatment working I would cost for 4-5 iui's and when you get pregnant sooner its a bonus!

I would ask your GP to do FSH,LH Oestrodial test on day 3 of your cycle and progesterone on day 21 (which will tell you if you ovulate) plus rubella immunity screen  and thyroid function if you can persuade them. There are places that do a set of tests that test your likely ovarian reserve which goes down the rolls royce type testing which would include antral follicle count internal scan of uterus and ovaries, amh blood test which is an indicator of  ovarian reserve and consult with specialist- I had with bodyclock network and it cost £350- I think ive read that zita west (who's book on assisted conception i recomend) is now doing a similar package. There is no point having amh tested without scans as the two need to be interpreted together.

It feels like a mindfield when you start but it will all become clearer as you go.


----------



## CynthiaRose

I think I have had most of those. Got these results, which I believe indicate PCOS. Also had rubella and doc will send me for day 21 I think. Do these mean anything to you, do they say anything about ovulation??

serum oestradol level 102 pmol/L
serum LH level 11.9
serum FSH level 6.8
serum TSH level 0.94

Thanks, it's a great help to talk to you!


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi Cynthia (I'm glad I'm not the only one who does the multiple post by mistake thing   )


From what I remember a LH level that is higher that FSH can be indicative of PCOS.  A scan of your ovaries would confirm whether multiple 'cysts' are present.  Many people with PCOS do ovulate and many more do with a bit of help (in my case clomid and metformin) it's an area many GP's aren't that hot on   .  So a referral to a consultant helps (and will also save quite a bit of money when it comes to scans and medication etc).  I was given quite a doom laden prognosis from my GP but after seeing a consultant things eventually looked a lot brighter   .  I was also told that ovulation kits aren't reliable with PCO.  I only ever managed one follicle on clomid so there was little risk of multiples but one was all that was needed to produce my daughter  .  
Best of luck   
Upsyxxx


----------



## morrigan

From what I know and I am no expert - Your Lh is higher than your FSH which as you know is an indication of PCOS as it is noramlly found in a 1:1 ratio. Your FSH is good meaning good fertililty but your eostrodol is a little high (should be below 80)and it is thought that high oestradol can suppress FSH levels so they appear lower than they actually are. It is the progesterone that will tell you if you are ovulating- You need results to be above 30 on day 21  although that is based on a 28 day cycle if yours isn't it may slew results-If you have borderline results its worth a retest.

Nothing that would suggest that its not perfectly possible.


----------



## CynthiaRose

Thanks both of you, all really helpful info. I am seeing my GP on Friday, so hopefully she will help, she already said she can send me for 21 day test and also the consultant said I should have day 28, so it's good that she's being helpful. Annoying thing is I can't go this month, as both those days fall on weekends, so presume i can't get blood taken. Thing I will struggle with patience throughout this whole process!


----------



## Matilda7

Forgive my ignorance here, but I still have a lot to learn!  How do I know if I ovulate?  I have regular periods (although I tend to have quite a long cycle - 31-32 days), but does that mean I'm ovulating?  Are there specific tests you can have to give you an idea of when your fertility will decrease?

I'm kind of caught in this stage where I'm thinking, if I just give it a bit more time, I might meet "Mr Right", but on the other hand I just think that might never happen and while I'm waiting I'm losing precious time when I might have a chance to conceive without many problems.  I've not discussed this with anyone else and know that my family would probably just think I was being ridiculous - they continually ask me why I haven't settle down yet and appear convinced that I am simply too fussy.

The thing is, the prospect of being pregnant alone and raising a child alone doesn't faze me, and I've never been someone who's dreamt of getting married and having that "perfect" family life.  A good, lasting relationship would be nice, but I don't really mind if it never happens.  On the other hand, I know with absolute certainty that I want a child and that if that doesn't happen I will have regrets for the rest of my life.  

In short, I think I've made the decision that I'm happy to go along with this on my own.  The things bothering me are the reactions of other people and the financial implications.

Sorry for the rambling, I just need to get this in some sort of order in my head.


----------



## CynthiaRose

Hi Matilda - you sound exactly like me! I'm 35 in May and have the same thoughts. I have made the decision to go for it in June. 

Regarding the response of others - I've been amazed at how wonderful everyone has been, they all think it's a brilliant idea. Told my Dad on Friday and he was ace about it too (mum no longer with us, sadly), so feeling really pleased about it. You might be nicely suprised!


----------



## morrigan

I would be tempted to go with day 2o if its a friday or day 22 if its a monday- as its not an exact science anyway for eg- I had mine done on day 21 and it s was 28 so retested next month day 18 ( i have 26 day cycle) and it was 35. As long as results over 15-20 your in the right ball park- A helpful GP will be a god send for you on this journey. Maybe GP would also run prolactin and testosterone. Also you can get all the sexual health screening done free at GUM clinic you just have to pay for a letter if you want results in writing.

Maltida- Might be worth you getting hold of mikki morriesttes book choosing single motherhood- you can get it from amazon although its american and also look at donor conception network website as there are a lot of resources on there- have a look at the letters to prospective parents you can down load.


----------



## CynthiaRose

ooo that's good to know - it'd be great if I could get it done this month. yeah, i think my GP is a ok, she looked a bit shocked when she asked about my partner and I said I didn't have one, but since then she's been ok!


----------



## Matilda7

Thank you for your responses - *morrigan,* I've just got _"Knock yourself up"_ by Louise Sloan so will be having a read of that, but will look at the Mikki Morrisette book too.

*CynthiaRose* - I think you're right, I might be pleasantly surprised if/when the time comes to share this with others. I've just got a feeling that, at this point in my life, they'd try to dissuade me. But I don't think there's a "right" age to start. The more I think about it, the more I have a gut feeling that this is the right path for me, so why not get started earlier rather than later?


----------



## Grace10704

Hi Matilda - very quick asnwer as am supposed to be working!  You asked how you might know if you are ovulating?  Get an ovulation test kit from the supermarket (they are in the same aisle as the pregnancy test ones to make sure you pick up the right ones!) and use that.  They are really simple pee stick tests that will show when you get an LH surge which basically means you have ovulated - just follow the instructions on the packet.  Don't worry if it doesn't look like you've ovulated the first month you try as you might just have missed it so keep trying each month.  You can get them over the internet as well & that tends to be cheaper though I'm not sure which ones are best - am sure someone could advise on that.  Mikki Morrisette's book is brill  as well - I read it the summer before I started trying treatment & it really helped me work out all the niggles in my mind. 
Best of luck!


----------



## Matilda7

Thank you Grace, and to everyone else who's replied.  Think I've got a lot of reading to do!


----------



## Grace2

Hello girls,  
well, here goes.  I am new to this and wondered if anyone might be able to offer and 'old gal' some friendly advice.
FSH 1.0, and told best way to go is DE and sperm and time has nearly run out!  
I would be delighted if there is someone out there who has gone the single route when they were 'in their prime!'.
I have so much love, life and joy to give to a little one; and only regret that I was too shy, private and uninformed about going it alone!  
All best wishes,  Grace


----------



## Bethany915

Hi Grace 2

Welcome to the singles board! And well done for taking the plunge to go it alone - it's not an easy step to take... I'm not sure if any of us are over 45 but several of us are getting very near . There are also lots of ladies who have used DEs successfully. Suitcase of Dreams has written an excellent guide to DEs which you can find here:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=256679.0

By the way, I've never heard of anyone having an FSH as low as 1.0! Usually the problem is that it's on the high side. Maybe you mean 100? Or do you mean AMH of 1.0? Anyway, good luck on your journey and I'm sure you'll find lots of support on these boards.

B xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

grace2 - hello and welcome   
saw your DCN post as well, will send you a proper reply tomorrow as on phone now and is too fiddly
Suitcase
$


----------



## Sarana37

Hi Grace, 


Welcome and don't worry about the age! I'm older than you and am just about to have ET in the next few days.      And there are others too!


Once I found the courage to make the decision of this route I just went for it! I had one go, as crazy as it might sound, with OE, just in case of a miracle, but knew then DE was the only option. I was lucky to be matched in a relatively short time with a young donor here in the UK. However, if it doesn't work this time, I'll be heading maybe to Brno or Athens. I have found this online community to be an absolute godsend, for both the amazing information and the genuine heartfelt support    . 


So, all the best with your journey! Clearly you have a lot of courage and determination. I think when we get to this age, we've been through so much in life - we know we will really make this work!


Sarana


----------



## CynthiaRose

Hi everyone. Welcome and good luck to all the new ladies!

So, i've been using the ovulation kit and got a smiley face today despite the PCOS - yay! So, should I have my progesterone test on Tuesday? The surge means I'll probably ovulate tomorrow, right? Then 7 days to Tuesday?

Also, it would seem I have a long luteal phase, maybe 19-20 days. I've looked on line but there doesn't seem much info. i know a short one is not good, but not sure about a long one. Does anyone have any experience of this?

Thanks!


----------



## RichmondLass

Hello Grace
I'm 46 and had DE tx at 44 if that helps?rl


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Grace2 said:


> Hello girls,
> well, here goes. I am new to this and wondered if anyone might be able to offer and 'old gal' some friendly advice.
> FSH 1.0, and told best way to go is DE and sperm and time has nearly run out!
> I would be delighted if there is someone out there who has gone the single route when they were 'in their prime!'.
> I have so much love, life and joy to give to a little one; and only regret that I was too shy, private and uninformed about going it alone!
> All best wishes, Grace


Hi Grace what were your other results as an FSH of 1.0 appears very good on the surface as over 10 is an issue and the lower the better but it needs to be read with LH , or did you have an AMH done?

Good luck


----------



## Grace2

Hi Sarana,
thank you so much for your post on 26/2 I am sorry that I did not respond but as a newbie I hadnt realised how to follow my posts.  Also, my dad had a  heart attack so was a little distracted until things are back on an even keel now.
I am on a waiting list in UK with CARE but the more threads I read about ladies going abroad I am really tempted especially at 49 time is of the essense.  I have heard of jinemed, dogus and reprofit.  If anyoone can offer any advice on their experiences there I would be very grateful.
With love to you and all the ladies on here for invaluable support.
Grace


----------



## Grace2

Dear Richmondlass, thank you so much for your post.  I am sorry that I did not respond sooner but only just worked out how to keep my posts on alert.  Congratulations on your little angel and thank you for your support.  Which clinic did you go to in Barcelona?  
Best wishes
Grace x


----------



## fiughair87

Hi, I'm new to the site. 

Have had the general screening tests (chlamydia, HIV, Hep B, Hep C, CMV, Rubella & AMH) So far Chlamydia & Rubella are fine...AMH turned out to be 5.6...Still waiting on the HIV;Hep B, Hep C & CMV results...Also had the vaginal ultrasound...which showed a 3:5 follicles...so...meh! About to get the HSG in about 3 weeks-ish. 

Anyhoo...wondered if anyone had any advice about the AMH and low follicle numbers etc?

(PS I'm 23 which is why I'm on the one hand happy about deciding to go for IUI treatment now...but on the other hand...curious as to why my AMH is on the low level...?) 

Thanks for any replies!


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Fiughair87- My amh is was 5.7 when I started treatment- its not a total indicator though- FSH levels are show you what situation is now- I am suprised its low being young but the the bonus is you are getting on with it now- You only need one good follie a month for IUI to work- it may mean if you are going to go down the route of stimualted IUI they are less gentle with the doses than they might be with someone of your age with a high amh. Do you ovulate ok- have you had 21 day progesterone levels done.  My feeling on the amh level when I got mine was it just cemented the feeling that going ahead with tx was the right thing to do. Good luck.


----------



## piddler

Hello I'm new on here.  I'm looking for any hints /tips / etc.  I am a 35 year old widow with a son who is about to turn 5.  I am looking to have another baby using a sperm donor.  I have an appointment with my consultant in May to discuss all this.  I'm worried about my age, and the fact I'm single.  Also, just to add to the complications, I suffer PCOS, Endo and underactive thyroid!!  Anyone who has any experience with any of this I would be so grateful to hear from you.

Many thanks and good luck to you all.


----------



## Shelby2211

Hello ladies,

Joined a while ago and have been "attempting" to take some of the great info you all share. I have now finally started my journey!! Got all my bloods done by my doctor and everything ok. 

Got the ball rolling with a Glasgow Clinic yesterday, have my first consultation on the 23rd April. 

I hope to get more help from this forum as I go along...... although I should read and re-read the abbreviations as I am a bit lost with it all   

My only concern with this journey is time off etc, I am a self employed childminder so the timing needs to be worked out, as I am paying for this all myself.

Oh and I am 38.

xx


----------



## Diesy

Hello to all the newbies!!!  You're in the right place!  I've found the support and information on the singles threads invaluable.  I just love being part of such a great group of clever, compassionate and resourceful girls!  

Shelby2211!  Yay another West of Scotland girlie!!!  We're gonna have enough for a Scottish splinter group meet up soon.  

Good luck all with your plans and txs - Diesy


----------



## some1

Welcome Piddler and Shelby!

Piddler - Sorry to hear that you have been widowed, that must be so tough for you and your son. Afraid I don't have any experience with PCOS, endo or thyroid problems, but there are a number of single girls who have (plus there are areas on Fertility Friends that cover this in detail (for PCOS - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=13.0, for endo - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=9.0 and for underactive thyroid - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=256702.msg4286656#new). Are you worried about your age/being single in relation to having treatment or in relation to having a baby, or a bit of both? Good luck with your consultant appointment, hope it helps you decide a way forward. If you have any specific questions or want to join in on one of the threads, just go for it, everyone here is very friendly and helpful!

Shelby - Glad to hear that your blood results are good and you have got some useful information from this site. The abbreviations are a bit hard to follow to start with  , but there is a glossary here - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/index.php?option=com_glossary&Itemid=120. Sounds like time off for appointments/treatment is going to be a particular challenge for you as a childminder, but I am sure there will be a way around it.

Some1

xx


----------



## Shelby2211

Diesy said:


> Shelby2211! Yay another West of Scotland girlie!!! We're gonna have enough for a Scottish splinter group meet up soon.
> Good luck all with your plans and txs - Diesy


Hi Diesy,

I'm actually from the Highlands  I have the long trek down to Glasgow for this. I am using the GCRM, I have read alot of good things from this site about them which has helped me.

I have managed to get my consent app moved forward to the 23rd of May so very excited now!!!

P.S are there any Highland Lassies also going it alone?? I see some couples in the Highlands & Islands section of the forum but was not sure if I am just to keep to the single section on this site?? 

x


----------



## Diesy

Hey Shelby - Maybe we need a Perth meet-up then    I think it's so nice that many of the girls get together in London.  I'm about 15 mins by car from GCRM and had all my tests done there.  They were good.  My friend has a GCRM baby after two failed NHS attempts.  So, good luck   I think I'll be going a little further afield for tx, two flights each way I think, that will be stress free lol.  Mind you, I wouldn't have found it so manageable unless the girls on here hadn't showed me how it was done!

Let me know how you get on at GCRM 
Diesy


----------



## some1

Shelby - feel free to post anywhere on the site, you will find you are welcomed everywhere and given support.

Some1

xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Shelby - I had all my initial tests at GCRM - love the place - they are so friendly.  Moved back down south though....    ... so miss Glasgow - was nice to meet up with Diesy last time I was up!


Piddler  - all the best for your journey    


fiughair - all the best honey - my amh is 0.0 and follie count was very low ... went down the donor route pretty quickly.  Hope you get some answers.  What is your FSH?  All the best   


Take care mini x


----------



## nessa1234

Hi I'm Nessa, I've been single for six weeks now and I had my second AI insem on thursday, fingers crossed but not hopefull.
Do any of you ladies have any advice for me as to how I can get the best out of my donation?


----------



## Fraggles

Hey Nessa you go girl, no hanging around for you. Have no advice but wanted to pop on and welcome you to this group of smart women. I am not clear whether you are doing natural iui with someone you know or whether you have bought donor sperm - can you share then we might be able to advise if we had a bit more info. Not sure where you are based but if near London we are having a meet up near London Bridge on 22 May for lunch. 

xx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Nessa - gooooood luck!

Mini  - aw cheers for doing some PR for Glasgow  (square sausage in the post lol)  
Opps, does that sound rude :s We do have square sausage up here...I'm gonna stop now...

Diesy  

PS  Now you know why I'm going for DIUI lol!


----------



## Betty-Boo

Loooooooooooveeeeee square sausage!!!!  Ha ha ha x x


----------



## lulumead

i'll go for any sausage...whatever shape


----------



## Betty-Boo

Now that made me laugh ..... x


----------



## Diesy

Lol Lulu!


----------



## eastas1

Hi New to the site, a friend put me on to you (successful IVF treatment in one cycle! now pregnant again naturally - yeah her)

I am 36 - single and the clock is ticking - as far as I know there is nothing wrong i.e PSOC so not sure where to start?
IUI by donor? or would it be worth trying AI by donor for a couple of cycles, if so where do I find a genuine donor and not someone wanting unprotected sex?
Also, had a look at the Barcelona clinic and although the charges seem reasonable they do not include drugs - where would you get these at a reasonable price? 

Two final questions - if you only go to Spain for initial consultation and then insemination where do you get the scans done and how much do they costs?
with the travelling back and forth and hotels etc is it really cheaper than the UK? just that if several cycles are going to be needed I need to weigh up the costs and get saving....
any advice would be welcome..


----------



## GIAToo

eastas - welcome to FF.

Have a quick look at these threads:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=259338.0

Which should answer some of your questions.

GIA Tooxxx


----------



## ZeeBee

Wanted to introduce myself. I'm 31 and have been TTC over the last 6 years. I'm single and have mostly been since I started TTC. I am the youngest of 4 girls in my family and my two eldest sisters both had trouble TTC and so I thought starting early would help  

I have had my fair share of problems. I had my first  in Nov 2007 which sadly was ectopic and resulted in the loss of a tube. In Nov 2008 I had another  which ended in MC. In I had my 3rd   in Oct 2009 but sadly my daughter was born at 32 weeks and passed away at only hours old due to a heart condition.
It is only recently that I have really felt like TTC again; I have used a variety of techniques using donor sperm. I am two days away from testing atm but don't have any symptoms so not feeling too good about this time. 
Recently I have been finding  even more difficult because many of my friends have started thinking about starting families and lots of them seem to get pregnant the first month; obviously I am happy for them but makes me feel rather sad. 
Sorry for the long post.    to all!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Zeebee- welcome to the thread, my gosh you have been through the mill - so sorry for your losses- I sincerely hope that this cycle is a BFP and a happy heathly baby for you.

L x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Zeebee, welcome to the thread. Sorry for your losses   . I hope that this cycle works for you and you have a healthy pg   

Welcome too to eastas1, nessa, shelby, piddler, fiughair and any others that I have missed. Wishing you all loads of luck for your respective journeys   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## morrigan

welcome Zeebee- you had a difficult journey so far-  it be smooth sailing from now on- feel free to join the 2WW thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=258559.204  

Lovely to see so many new faces


----------



## hopefullyvsoon

Hi all, I am a newbie to the site.  I have a DS born through ICSI in 2000 and 10 years on and single I am about to start DIUI.  I have my 1st nurses appointment on Tuesday to learn how to inject and feeling a tad nervous! I have no problems with needles but not sure how I feel about injecting myself (with ICSI I had a nurse to inject me).  I'm sure all will be fine and just very excited to get started.  The forums were a huge support to me last time and I'm sure they will be again...


----------



## Little D

Welcome Hopefully!  

I’m new a single newbie on here too and I’m sure you’ll find FF is still as supportive.  I’ve just started my first round of DIVF, I’m currently sniffing Suprecur and due to start injecting Menopur this coming Thursday, which I too and a little nervous about but excited to finally starting treatment.

All the best in your treatment


----------



## hopefullyvsoon

Thank you fot the welcome little D!  Its hard to get started on the forum as everyone seems to know each other so well!
Good luck for the injections on Thursday, let me know how it goes!  I'm very excited to have my nurses appointment tomorrow and even more excited to pick my donor!


----------



## GIAToo

hopefullyvsoon - welcome!  Just throw yourself into the threads!  You'll soon get to know everyone and if you can get to a meet up, then you'll really start to feel like part of the furniture!     Good luck with your nurses appt and have fun picking your donor!   

ZeeBee - so aorry for your losses     I really hope that you get to fulfill your dream of motherhood soon    

Hello to anyone I may have missed    and    in case you need them
GIA Tooxxx


----------



## some1

Welcome to the site Nessa, Eastas, Zeebee, Hopefully, Little D - glad you have found us!

Nessa - how are you getting on? how is the 2 week wait? did you know there is a singles 2ww board here ?http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=258559.204. You asked for tips about getting the best from your donation. Did you have your treatment at a clinic? Hopefully you will get a bfp from your current cycle and not have to worry about tips for future cycles 

Eastas - I haven't had treatment abroad so I'm not much help to you there, but there are plenty of single ladies who have, as well as boards on the main site for different countries. Have a read around and post any specific questions. Or try the singles IUI thread here - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243822.0 it hasn't been posted on for a while but I think if you post there some of the 'old hands' will get back to you. Re your question about finding a genuine donor, I think almost all of the single women have used clinics for treatment so have got donors through them, but there are quite a lot of ladies on the Lesbian/Gay threads who have sourced their own donors so you could try there.

Zeebee - oh my goodness, you have been through so much  , can't begin to imagine what that has been like for you. Are you testing today? How did you get on? Sending you lots of   

Little D - good luck with your upcoming IVF   

Hopefully - good luck with your upcoming IUI    Like GIAToo says, don't feel put off by people seeming to know each other well, everyone is very friendly and you are welcome to just jump in on any thread - you'll soon feel like you belong!

Some1

xx


----------



## hopefullyvsoon

Just back from my first nurses appointment and slightly worried I haven't quite taken in how to prepare the drugs ready to inject.  More excitingly I have just picked my donor!!!  I had no idea how difficult a decision it would be and how emotional.  Fingers crossed I've made the right decision...
Now just have to hope AF hurries up and arrives...


----------



## lulumead

Hello everyone on here     


Hope you are all doing ok.


Hopefully: feel free to post about injections, some one will always be able to give good tips. x
xxx


----------



## Lou-Ann

hopefullyvsoon, welcome to the site   . As a few of the others have already said, feel free to post on any thread, we are a friendly bunch. Good luck with your cycle   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Little D

Hopefully – congratulations on picking your donor.  I found it a daunting experience too but trusted my gut instinct.  Fingers crossed you’ll get to start injecting soon.  I’ll be injecting from Thursday evening, which I’m not looking forward to, I’ll be glad when the first one is out of the way.

Little D  x


----------



## hopefullyvsoon

I didn't sleep a wink last night thinking about my donor!  I was so excited but of courses none of my friends really understand.  Thank goodness for everyone on here!  I was even dreaming about what to write on the birth certificate under father.  GodI am going mad already and haven't even started yet!
Good luck for tomorrows injections Little D.  let me know how it goes...x


----------



## Shelby2211

Hello Ladies,

I arrived home yesterday after my first consultation, everything went very well, had a scan and although my concents app WAS for the 23rd May I managed to push it forward yet again as AF arrived on Friday so I am back down on the 11th and have been told I will get my first injection then!!

Very excited now, I am having ICSI and he is going to transfer 2 fet's if possible!! 

Is is wrong to be thinking ahead and looking at cot's, prams, etc (not buying I should add), part of me worries I might jinx it but I don't want to look at the glass half empty!

Best wishes to all on here

Shelby xxx


----------



## morrigan

good luck Shelby- sounds all on track.

i think if your able to be postive than thats great keep it up- can't do any harm as long as you are realistic- but if it doesn;t happen first time then youll need to think about those things eventually so go for it.

how are you others doing!


----------



## lullaby

good morning to everyone of you! Sorry for my english 
My story in brief. I'm italian, 42 years old. I'd been pregnant in 2007 but lost it at 7 week. After  3 years looking for pregnancy and no result I was declared unfertile. In december 2010 I become single  
  I've already done my first ICSI with sperm donor in Barcellona (Eugin) but the 29 April 2011 negative result. I will attempt my next one in June. I wos looking for some informations and experience about Reprofit in Brno...does someone of you know if they do accept singles?


----------



## lalawhite

It is very comforting to see other ladies in the same boat as me.  I'm 44 and just starting my journey TTC.  I've decided I'm not going to wait any longer but actively pursue this.  What do you mean by injections?  I'm 44 and have had an FSH score of over 50 with an AFC score of 2.8.  Basically I've been told to go straight to donor eggs.  Which I will do but I want to explore all my options.  Can I still conceive using my own eggs?  Does clomid improve egg quality?  My fertility monitor (the ovacue) confirmed ovulation?  My home FSH was negative however the LH home test was also negative!  Any advice?


----------



## swanlike

Hi , Lovely to meet you all - I'm 40 and have just started investigating donor insemination after splitting up with my partner in March this year.  Just had the first rounds of tests and my first consultation yesterday at London Women's Clinic.  My results are all ok for my age:

AFC - 12 -both ovaries
AMH - 9.49 pmol/L
Oestradiol Level - 206 pmol/L
Serum LH Level - 5.2 u/L
Serum FSH level 8.0 u/L
Prolactin 242 mu/L

I have previously conceived naturally fairly easily, but had a termination due to the break-up of the relationship.  This was 6 years ago.

The consultant suggested that I go ahead with a natural cycle of IUI with donor sperm as soon as possible, even though there's only a 14% success rate for women of my age at LWC.  I don't have lots of savings to fund treatment, so am worried about this being a waste of time and money.  Would I be better waiting and saving up for IVF?

Am also wondering about how other people settled on the right donor for them? By someone who matches their preferred type of partner in physical characteristics or by someone who looks more like them?  I'm interested as I'm illegitimate, have never met my father and don't look physically that much like my mum, although we are quite similar in personality. The information given isn't very extensive on the donor websites...

I feel like, after reading Zita West's book, that I should spend at least a couple of months getting fitter, losing weight (I'm at the top end of the BMI scale) cutting down on caffeine and giving up alcohol completely - I'm not a heavy drinker anyway, taking folic acid and fish oils - is this worth it, in your experience?

Also, financially, I will have to borrow money to do this - how did other people fund their treatment?  I have some debts now and I'm quite worried about increasing this, when potentially I won't be working for a year.

So many questions...!


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Swanlike 

Welcome.

I think with your results I would have some iui's first. Many of us have had treatment overseas as it can be much cheaper including the cost of tx, flights, accommodation etc.

I personally got donor sperm from xytex because I was looking for known donor and for me it was just a case of blood type as I am O- but am sure some others will be along with their thoughts too.

Good luck.

xxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Swanlike,

So difficult to say on IUI vs IVF...some folk are lucky and get pg on 1st or 2nd IUI, others like me end up going through a lot more and it's impossible to say which you will be I'm afraid. I had excellent test results at 37 when I started out and it took 3 IUI, 5 IVF with my own eggs and 3 IVF with donor eggs before I finally gave birth just after my 41st birthday...
Hopefully things will be much smoother for you
If finances are tight, do look into overseas options for IUI, that way you can save some money in case you need to move to IVF. The girls on the abroadies/IUI threads can help with details/logistics etc   
I paid for mine with a combination of savings and putting it on credit card and paying it back gradually....am lucky to have (or had anyway, am being made redundant) a well paid job and few outgoings so was able to save quite a lot 

re donors, first few cycles I agonised over this, by the end I just wanted to be pregnant/to have a baby and I worried much less about the donor choice. I def wasn't looking for a donor who represented my 'ideal' partner, I focused on one who would result in the child looking as much like me/my family as possible so the child would fit in. In retrospect I'm not sure why I even worried about that tbh! I have ended up with twins who look very little like me and it doesn't seem to matter a bit   
Ultimately only you can decide what criteria are important to you - if you want more choice/information you'll need to order sperm from a sperm bank (eg European Sperm Bank in Copenhagen or Xytec) - otherwise you'll get very basic physical info. In the end I just selected the hair/eye colour I wanted and didn't worry too much about the rest...

Hope this has helped, good luck   
Suitcase
x


----------



## swanlike

Thanks Fraggles and Suitcase of Dreams, really helpful.  I'm feeling fairly overwhelmed with lots of questions and lots of new information to take in and decisions to make.  I've already inspired by reading threads here and will try and contribute when I know more...


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello ladies,

May i join you please?! I am a single girl of 47 and i live in Godalming. This is my fourth time of IVF this time i used donor egg and donor sperm and i couldn't believe i tested positive - i am so so so thrilled. I too feel lots of light movement in my stomach, i am definately not imagining it! I feel as though i just keep wanting to do a pregnancy test to check it really is true! I_s anyone else like this? _

_I am praying for everyone on here. I just feel so so lucky. Someone this time up there seems to be on my side._

_Love to you all and i am so glad to have found this site._

_G xx         _


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hi everyone,

What i wanted to say was this.  I had acupuncture every three weeks from 5 months before i started my treatment.  I really think this helps.  I can't say it is relaxing but i do believe it helps to prepare the body.  As the embryo transfer approaches more treatments are done.  I also used on filtered water and still do, no anti perspirant with aluminim just all things which i believe could be a hindrance as this is my fourth attempt too.

My treatment has and is in The Lister hospital and they have really taken care of me each time as a single girl i have done ivf.  The deal with all sorts of situations.  I got my donor sperm from Xytex in the US and did egg sharing with another girl who i will never meet in my clinic.  

Hope this is of value

Keep strong everyone xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Everhopeful, welcome to the boards and congratulations on your BFP! There is a section on the singles pregnancy and parenting board specifically for those waiting for their first scan.

   too to swanlike, lalawhite, lullaby, shelby, little D and any other newbies that I have missed. Good luck with your respective journeys. 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## morrigan

Congratulations everhopeful - come and join us on the waiting for scan board !


----------



## everhopeful1234

Thank you to everyone for being so welcoming.    I am going to have a look now at ladies waiting for the first scan.  Do let me know if ever you all meet up as i saw somewhere on here.  I am in the Guildford area.

Love and fingers crossed to everyone on here

Gillian xxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Gillian - lots of us in the Guildford area as it happens - me included  
am hosting a picnic on July 23rd at my mum's place which is between G'ford and Woking - check out the thread and come along if you are free  
link here: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=260834.0

Bambiboo and Starbuck are also in Guildford, Dawn is in Woking and there are several others in the Surrey/Hampshire/Sussex area

Suitcase
x


----------



## Fraggles

Gillian I am also planning a meet up in London some time in Sept/October so we meet up fairly regularly. Would be lovely to meet you at Suity's. x


----------



## cheran

Hi, I wonder if any of you girls can help me?  I am a single person, currently going through egg donation, hoping that everything goes to plan - fingers crossed for me and recipient.  I have the egg retrieval procedure in just over a weeks time and was wondering if anyone has had the procedure and can tell me what it is like?  I'm getting a little nervous about it.
Cheers


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Loubs

Look a few posts above and I think Suity has said about a picnic she is having at her place on 23rd July - I think there is a link. There are plentry of us who have been through it so you can meet us there if you are anywhere in or near about Guildford.

A few us having gone overseas and had treatment there or have a look at European Sperm Bank or Xytex and you can import donor sperm and that might make things quicker for you. Alternatively, you could get treated quicker if you went to an overseas clinic where prices are usually cheaper and that includes price of flights, accommodation, sperm etc and you could probably get treated next cycle if you were looking that quick. I will pm you a few clinics to consider that recent singles have been too and you can have a look at those. Those clinics would provide unknown donor sperm.

xxx


----------



## missyw

Hi all another newbie!

I had my first consultation at LWC yesterday and think it went well. Was a bit overwhelmed by it all!

Have had bloods done and they are all fine, even though I was worried about the Oestradiol level, but they seemed fine with it. Am looking to be an egg donor and use donor sperm myself. 

The thing I didn't realise (probably in my stupidity) were the extra costs. I presumed you would have IVF and thats it, however they started talking about ICSI and Blasto as further options, however it came across as not an 'option' but more that it was more a reality! so another 1500 squid for me! 

I know I can find the money but it is still something to think about. 

Am looking forward to it but panicking that it won't work and that I will run out of money  
If all goes to plan I will be starting the process in October (work commitments), am I mad?!

Just really wanted to say hi, but seem to have blurted all that out! sorry  x


----------



## Cornflower

Hi all, 

I've been reading FF so much over the past few weeks as I try to make my mind up whether to go ahead with some form of donor-assisted conception...so am taking the plunge and making my first post! Phew, feels better already! This community is amazing...

I'm 42, just a few months til I'm 43 and am trying to balance being realistic about my chances with keeping positive and giving it all a go. I didn't even realise I was this keen to get pregnant til a few months ago, so its all feeling pretty rollercoasterish even before I get into the treatment!  Currently a bag of nerves waiting til I get the results of my FSH test on Tues. Seems like that's pretty crucial. Nervous about all the drugs/procedures involved in IVF, wondering if at my age is better to just go the natural route with IUI. I guess this will become clearer once I get that result and get an appointment (at LWC I think).

Anyone else at a similar stage?


----------



## MeowToTheMoon

Hi All!

I'm just about to dive in to the unknown and looking for some cyber support and information.

I'm 40years, 11 months and 28 days old.  (not that I am counting! )
I have been single for the last decade or so and with a break of just 18 months, was single for the decade before that too.

I've given up waiting for someone to do this with and am going it alone.

My Dr told me I was a perfect candidate for IUI so I am going to trust him with everything and go down this route first.  I don't have a lot of spare cash, so am really hoping I'm one of the lucky ones!  

I look forward to learning more from everyone on here!


----------



## Lou-Ann

Cheran, Loubs, Missy, Cornflower and MeowToTheMoon, you have come to the right place for advice, info and support. Welcome to the boards and good luck with your respective journeys.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## indekiwi

Wow, lots and lots of newbies -   I hope you all find the support and information you are looking for on the boards - there are a lot of very knowledgeable individuals who post but, if you haven't already done so, please have a quick trawl along the threads that particularly interest you, whether it be IUI, IVF, Donor Egg treatment (DE tx), the abroadies thread (for women having tx outside of the UK) and so on, you will find a whole load of stuff to start your thinking off.  It's worth having a look at earlier pages of the board as well, since really informative threads can drop off the front page on either side of the board pretty quickly sometimes.  Cheran, there are several single women who have been egg donors (particularly as egg sharers) that post on the singles board; however, you might also get a quick response on the donor sperm / eggs main board or the egg sharing board.   There is also a list of acronyms used on the website which I think can be found on the Welcome threads at the top of the message board.  As you read through the signatures of all the posters, you may find individuals who have either experienced what you're about to dive into, or share a similar background to you.  It may well be worth sending a private message (PM) to the individuals concerned if you have specific queries - my strong suspicion is that the recipients are unlikely to bite   , so be brave.  Finally, as Fraggles alluded to earlier, there are pretty frequent meetings of thinkers / triers / bumps / mums, so again, pls introduce yourselves on the threads that interest you and try to make it along to meetings taking place, hopefully in places you can get to.  Credit to Fraggles who seems to be an organiser extraordinaire in London; ditto Grace in Bristol and now Suitcase of Dreams near Guildford is firing on all cylinders in this respect.      Good luck to everyone embarking on this venture - it isn't for everyone, and that's fine, but for those that it is, I wish you all a quick   (big fat positive) once you go ahead.   

A-Mx


----------



## BroodyChick

Hi Ladies


I have been surfing this site for a while, when I was signed up to go for IUI with my ex.


Unfortunately, we split up in January and I then started a new job, so I am now determined to begin my journey to be a mum in September 2011 with a donor if I need to.
Currently seeing a lovely man for the past 4 months but circumstances aren't ideal... As the 'baby issue' has led to breakups in the past I am now exploring my options as a single parent.


I joined a co-parenting website in the hope of finding a known donor who would like to share parenting responsibility and have regular contact with the child.


It would be great to meet other women in a similar situation, share the experience and maybe even find another single mum for a flatshare where we can bring up our kids in support of each other...


----------



## Jue jue

Hi everyone,

just reading some posts I float around the boards, am 4`1  in August but dont seem to find much  to idenify with on the 40 plus page for iui  most doing ivf so when i saw a post from  you Meow to the Moon  thought would say hi as I have undergone one iui in feb changed clinic and am 

now due another in early July.  will get 2 iuis as doc says if nothing then move to ivf but really dont think can be affording ivf.

congrats on making your decision meow to the moon to go it alone, im in the same position, no long term relationship for a while so following much thinking decided to go for it. only wish i had of done it sooner.

Jue


----------



## Fraggles

Hi

For any newbies wanting to meet up with other singles at various stage of tx and in access of London we are arranging an Autumn meet up - details here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=263810.12

Would be great to see you at one of them.

xx


----------



## Lizzymegan37

Hi to everyone

I am yet to choose a clinic, for DS TTC. I am 37 and single.  I am hoping that my fertility assessment will be ok..  I am going to attend a seminar with LWC and probably will go with them.  So this is just to say hi and that I am at the start of my journey.  

I read your post broody chick and I am in a similar situation.


----------



## Lou-Ann

Lizzymegan, welcome to the thread and good luck with your journey   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Minnie35

Welcome Lizzymegan, Broodychick, Cheran, Loubs, Missy, Cornflower and Meow - although I'm a bit late, you're not really newbies any more!


I'm sure you'll find lots of support, advice and encouragement from the ladies here. Lizzymegan, how did it go at LWC? I go there at the moment too so let me know if I can be of any help with anything.


Broodychick I've thought about the co-parenting thing but at the moment have decided to go via the anonymous donor route.  I also like the idea of a flatshare, for a zillion reasons. I read an article in the Guardian a couple of years ago about a pair of single mums who shared. It gave me a lot of hope and I think it's something I'm likely to end up doing.


Good luck to everyone starting this journey, looking forwards to hearing how you get on!


Minnie x


----------



## Tommi

Hi - I'm new here. Really pleased to see so many in a similar situation. I'm 41 and going it alone. Just wanted to say hi!


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Tommi, and welcome!

A-Mx


----------



## Tommi

Thank you!


----------



## Minnie35

Hiya Tommi, welcome!


----------



## Tommi

Hi! Thank you!  
I had my first appointment today which was relatively painless. So much to think about!


----------



## Guest

Hello all.

I'm not totally sure why I'm posting here, but I wanted to say Hi.

I'm just about to start the DIUI journey. 

Lil


----------



## Fraggles

Lil

Congratulations and it so lovely to see new people join us.

When do you start and where are you going? How exciting.

xx


----------



## KerriJo

Hello,

What a fantastic site, and brilliant to know that there are others going on the same journey 

I am 32, living in Sussex and will this month begin DIUI. A very exciting time, whilst also at times scary and isolating. 

Hoping to make some friends along the way


----------



## upsydaisy

Hiya Joanne   


A big welcome on behalf of the Sussex singles.  (Which is me and a couple of others   ).  This site is a fabulous resource. Best of luck with your first DIUI, keep in touch   
Upsyxxx


----------



## Sophmellor

Hi, like lil, I'm not sure why i'm posting here. I'm looking to start this whole process in jan next year, (works out better timing-wise) and it's just great to know that there's more people out there like me, looking to be a mum while not having a partner for whatever reason. Makes me feel less alone.


----------



## Tommi

Hi to all the new folk! I'm new too and also in Sussex area. Would love to meet up with others around


----------



## BroodyChick

Hi Joanne, Soph and Tommi - welcome!
Hope youo ar starting to feel less alone already and things work out for you xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello and welcome to all the new posters 

we are having a meet up at my place in Guildford on 23rd July if you are around and want to meet others:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=260834.0
if you are interested, PM me your email address and I'll send more details 

or the next London lunch is Sat 1st October:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=263810.12

meantime keep posting and let us know how you're all getting on 
Suitcase
x


----------



## Fraggles

Hi

Just to echo what Suity has said we have a great bunch of single mums in our group which is a really great support and a way to meet new friends too.

Would be great to meet you if you can make it.

xx


----------



## Diesy

Welcome to all the newbies - definitely in the right place  
Good luck all the IUIers and all the other stuff, erm...IVF even.

Diesy


----------



## kiligirl

Hi there,

I'm new and wanted to say Hi. I'm single and expecting my first baby in October using a donor. 

Have been trying to have a baby since April 2010 and finally got lucky in January this year but have been thinking long and hard about starting a family since 2007. Took me a while to finally make the decision to go it alone, kissed alot of frogs but no prince charming ! Now I don't know why I left it so long to go it alone! 

Would be great to hear from other single mums and to meet up.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

welcome kiligirl and congratulations on your pregnancy  as per my post above, the next meet ups are:

we are having a meet up at my place in Guildford on 23rd July if you are around and want to meet others:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=260834.0
if you are interested, PM me your email address and I'll send more details









or the next London lunch is Sat 1st October:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=263810.12

meantime keep posting and let us know you're getting on - you may want to post on the bumps thread too  
Suitcase
x


----------



## fayster

Hi, can I join you ladies?  I've been on the donor sperm thread for some time, but now OH and I have separated and I'm going it alone (with his blessing) - about to start a DIUI cycle and just a wee bit scared!


----------



## lulumead

Hello all new people, haven't checked in in a while and its great to see new people joining all the time    


Wishing you all lots of luck
xxx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Feyster - Welcome to the gang!  Good luck with stuff      
Diesy


----------



## lizch

HI All

I think I just posted in the wrong area, but thought I'd say Hi, and hope that I'm now in the right area!
I'm a complete Newbie to all this and this site is fab!
had my first consultations for potential IUI last week, standard tests and a trip to the DR's to beg for fertility tests  being done next week.

hope to speak to you all soon, loads of information to take in in one go.
Liz


----------



## morrigan

Liz - post where you like Hun !! Hi

Feyster welcome and welcome to all our other newbies lovely to see some new faces.


----------



## Tommi

Hi Liz

I think I'm at about the same stage as you. I have had some tests done by GP surgery (great and supportive GP!) but in my area the NHS doesn't fund any kind of fertility investigation or treatment. It's worth shopping around to get the best price for blood tests. In this age of patient choice... don't get me started on the politics of it all! Just to say I was quoted £75 for the rubella status test that was actually free at my local hospital. CMV test quotes fluctuated wildly too. 

Good luck with it all! I've had blood taken so many times in the last few weeks I think I must be nearly there with the blood tests!

Good luck to Fayster too, and everyone else. Lots of    

T x


----------



## mrsscampi

Hi everyone  
Had my first DIUI 29/6, went thru 2ww feeling really positive (even managed to will myself into implantation cramps and morning sickness 10DPO) but AF turned up this morning with a vengeance. Feeling really down so thought I might come here for some support. Had a hard journey to get this far - my partner of 7 years left me in Jan when I finally pinned him down to whether or not we would TTC. Always wanted a brother or sister for my DD but after sticking by my partner thru some rough times found myself 40, single and looking at a difficult decision. Am worried it's all too late - especially as Ive been looking at statistics that say the first IUI is your best chance. Don't know if I want to go the IVF route on my own    Not helped by my lovely sister and her gorgeous 2 month-old baby (her and her DH conceived 1st time they tried). Any advice on trying to stay positive? Also, anyone having a get together in my area in the next few months (I'm in N. Oxfordshire)?
xx


----------



## kiligirl

Hi there,

Suitcase thanks for the message and info re meet ups that sounds good. I will send you my e-mail address.

Great to see the other newbies in the posts as well, definitely fingers crossed for you all. I never thought it would work for me either but here I am at 40 and 6.5 monhts pregnant so keep positive and go for it.


----------



## lulumead

hello everyone on here.


mrsscampi - just to say that i got pregnant on the equivalent of my 6th IUI and 8th IUI so don't feel too disheartened that it didn't work 1st time....there aren't many on here who have got lucky 1st time. I think its good to do back to back IUI's and that makes them more likely to work, but in the end I suspect it might just be done to a bit of luck!    


xxx


----------



## Tilly2011

Hi everyone

I am new to this exciting journey and am loving this site there is so much knowledge, support and guidance; hope you don't mind me joining this thread?

I have had an initial consultation and have had tests done have my follow up consultation next week and then am hoping to start diui in august. Unfortunately I had rubella detected in my blood so am having a booster this week so still hoping I'll be ok to start in august. Has this happened to anyone else?

Natalie x


----------



## Diesy

Hi Natalie,

Welcome to FF   The boards will certainly keep you busy!  Good luck with your upcoming tx 

Diesy


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the boards Natalie and good luck with your journey   . Sorry, I don't know anything about needing a rubella booster.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Tilly2011

Thanks Diesy and Lou-Ann well hopefully I'll find out more tomorrow when I have the injection or when I go to clinic on 27th. 

Natalie x


----------



## morrigan

welcome Tilly _ not been in the rubella situation but I suspect it means you have no immunity to it so they want to make sure your immunity is up to date before you get pregnant. I had mine tested before hand as well. They do test it in early pregnancy so I guess they can give the vaccine then if need be but it sounds like you will be just preprepared.


----------



## Aprilisthebest

Hi all well im new to this site and also resonably new to researching the possibility of donor sperm AI. im a single gal who has wanted to be a mum for as long as i can remember never really had a proper relationship so i thought i would research all my options... who needs a man anyways? lol im still kinda young in comparison to alot of people who decide DAI is there option however even if i decided to do this in 5 yrs time its on my mind now and i have no one in 'real life' that i can talk to about this.
please any advice on where to start or things to concider or even just a friendly hello is welcome with open arms
much luv xx


----------



## Tommi

Hi April
I'm very new to all this too, but just wanted to say good for you for researching in good time. It took me ages to start this process but now I have I am sure it is right for me at this time. Wasn't quite expecting so many comments about my grand old age though! 
Good luck with everything! There are a lot of very supportive and knowledgeable ladies on here who will guide you, I'm sure.
T x


----------



## morrigan

welcome April and Tommi theres pkenty of info on here so ask away.

I woudl suggest as a starter on research you get hold of a couple of books- i started with mikki morrisettes choosing single motherhood, I would also have a gander at the donor conception network website as theres some great resources on there.  I know it made me feek a bit better by saying if Ive not met anyone by x this is what I will do. I then also felt I had put some effort into meeting someone and it wasn't meant to be which makes me feel more comfortable about my choice. 

hope your appointment went well Natalie

Nothing wrong with being young- if you plan on having as a back up plan in a few years ( took me 5 years to decide!) it might be worth looking into having some basic tests to see what your fertility is like or go as far as having your ovarian reserve tested in the mean time- I used the body clock foundation ( Ive no idea how young you are you  may have years so it may be a false economy !)

Also I went to the fertility show at olympia where they had loads of lectures- I think its pretty much an annual event now around oct nov time I think- I went in knowing nothing and came out with a plan.


----------



## Aprilisthebest

Morning 
Thank you for your kind words and welcomes i thought i would log in today and no one would have posted!
I think due to what you have said i may make a trip to the librery this weekend 
have a super friday everyone!


----------



## morrigan

April - some if the books are American - try amazon if you can't find them. There's a book list on dcn website.


----------



## Tommi

Thanks for those suggestions Morrigan. Definitely going to get the Choosing Single Motherhood one. Do you know if there are any written specifically for the UK?


----------



## suitcase of dreams

unfortunately no books written from the UK perspective - yet! we are aiming to put together an info pack on here if not a full book, and I know the DCN are also working on something so hopefully there will be more available soon   
meantime both Mikki M and Jane Mattes are very useful on all the general stuff around becoming a single mother by choice, where they fall down is on the specifics around getting treatment in the UK - how to organise it, importing sperm if needed, clinic recommendations etc. But the overall material in both books is applicable as much to UK as US   

Suitcase
x


----------



## Tommi

Thank you, Suitcase, that's really helpful.   
T x


----------



## Tilly2011

Hi 

Thanks for asking morrigan appointment went ok had booster so just got to wait and see if clinic are happy to begin iui in a month or if I have to wait 3 months, but when I googled it most sites said that you only have to wait one month so I'm hoping. 

Hi April I'm new too and also fairly young, 28 This is something I've wanted for ages so researched into clinics chose which one I preferred and hopefully 3 months after my first telephone contact I'll begin iui. Feel free to private message me if you want to chat or ask any questions etc. 

Hello to everyone else hope your all well. 

Natalie x


----------



## Lou-Ann

April, welcome to the boards and good luck with your journey   

Natalie, glad that your appt went well. I hope that you can begin you iui soon. Good luck   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Aprilisthebest

Hi guys it feels like forever thank you for names of book people i have to be fast as im off line at home and only have 30mins free at my local librery i am still continuing research and the more guys i meet the more i want to do this ALONE call me sinical but hey i have to look out for no.1 and maybe one day no.2 right? lol love to you all xxx


----------



## MsPeaches

Hello, I am new on here, feeling my way around the boards.

So yes, 47, single (as below) and off to Melbourne IVF tomorrow morning to see how they / if they can support me in treatment for donor embryo overseas.  If there is any such thing as embryo adoption here in Victoria Australia, you can be sure I will nut that out of them too!

I remember first making inquiries re IUI when I was 40 about to turn 41, and was flatly refused because of my age, even though many women have had success.  At that time, it was illegal here in the State of Victoria, so one had to travel up to the border of New South Wales to a clinic at Albury.  I am not sure where the law stands now but - gee - the hoops one must jump through!

I look forward to following your stories and hopefully participating more - thanks for having me, and all the very best to us strong, brave, awesome women, who will all fine mothers make!    

MsPeaches xxx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Ms Peaches, and welcome.    Good luck for your appointment in Melbourne.  If you are considering leaving Oz for treatment, a lot of the women on these boards have headed to the Czech Republic for donor embryos and been very successful.  

A-Mx


----------



## MsPeaches

Thank you indiekiwi, will look into all clinics.  Are you from NZ?  I am originally, flirting with idea of returning as could be economically better, but friendship support networks less... A lot to ponder! Thank you for the welcome,  on the train now heading to Melbourne IVF to see what support they can offer   cheers, MsPeaches x


----------



## Lou-Ann

MsPeaches, welcome to the board and good luck with your journey   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## fayster

Hi Ladies, can I join your thread, please?

I had my first IUI with my ex-partner back in January (m/c at 10 wks), using donor sperm because of his vasectomy, and though we've recently split up, we've agreed that I should carry on with treatment on my own, as this is such an important opportunity for me.  I'm actually half way through the 2ww at the moment, but not holding out much hope for this month.

So I'm new to being single (though was quite good at it before), and I keep asking myself if I've gone completely bonkers by deciding to go it alone!  I am reassured by the number of ladies over here though, and you all seem pretty normal!


----------



## indekiwi

Ms Peaches, yes, from Godzone and also considering a move home - missing pipis, feijoas, kumara....and proper marmite.    Hope your appointment went well.   


Fayster, welcome, and good luck on your TWW.      I hope I'm reasonably normal but think I'd better let others who are more objective make that judgement call.   


A-Mx


----------



## friendly friend

Faster, just to say I know a number f lovely ladies single with babes via non- traditional concertion. Good luck


----------



## Minnie35

Welcome, Ms Peaches   , April    and Fayster,   and good luck with the journey!


Minnie x


----------



## Aprilisthebest

Thank u still ofline atm and had another crappy night out with a guy im glad science has advanced so us ladies have another choice x x


----------



## BridgeJones

Hello - 

I am new (ish), I'm doing egg freezing (as a single 36-yr old) and really glad to find this bit of the board because I haven't yet seen anyone else who is also doing it! Is there anyone? 

I started a thread on the main IVF bit called General Injection Panic a few days ago, because I was freaking out about the jabs, which I am about half way through now. It's been manageable so far on my own.. except this evening when I had to start cetrotide which I thought was horrible! 

Anyway, if there are any single ladies out there doing egg freezing I'd be fascinated to hear from you! I am finding the whole thing a bit surreal.. and not really enjoying doing the injections.. but counting down the days to the harvesting op next week!  

Thanks, 

BridgeJ
London


----------



## indekiwi

Hi BridgeJ, welcome to the singles board.  To my knowledge there haven't been too many people posting here about egg freezing, but there was a relatively recent discussion you might want to have a look at: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=238115.0

 for the jabs - it's funny how quickly you get used to them - albeit not the nasty bruises and bumps.  Hope it's all going well for you.

A-Mx


----------



## sifi1978

*Hello everyone,

I started my Buserelin injections this morning and other than coming down with Glandular Fever a few days ago, I am in gd spirits.

How is everyone doing?*


----------



## lullaby

Hello to everyone! 
I'm single , Italian and 42 years old... 43 are very close! 
I've already done 2 ICSI with negative result in barcellona. The cost is quite high and and my wallet is starting to cry therefore I was wondering to go to Prague, at Gennet clinic.
Does anyboy have any experience in Gennet in Praga? 
Where can I found some information about how to be accepted there ? I know that they ask to sign some docs in front of a notary if your HD can't come .... 
THNKS!!! 
Lullaby


----------



## Lou-Ann

Sifi, welcome to the board. Hope the injections are going well and you are feeling better, good luck   

Lullaby, welcome to you too. Sorry that you have had 2 neg icsi's already   . I have no experience of Gennet, but wanted to wish you luck with your journey


----------



## Betty-Boo

Lullaby - Gennet has some good results - however Czech Republic, by law, do not treat single women .....

The Czech board is this way ..

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=347.0

and the ladies on Gennet's forum are lovely too.

Sifi - all the best hun  

Lou-Ann   How are you honey??

Big hello 

Mini xx


----------



## Diesy

Mini - lol "the Czech board is this way", strong visual image of you standing with a clipboard and holding a sign 

It's fab!  There are so many new people I can't keep up   And I'm just popping in to say hi.  Proper hello later!!!

Diesy


----------



## Betty-Boo

The exits are here ... here and here...
Life jacket is under your seat..
And in case of emergency - just SCREAM!!!!


Mini xx


----------



## silverbird

Hi all,

I haven't read all the previous posts but I'm excited to be on this board.  I'm thinking about single motherhood with the LWC after being widowed while tcc.


----------



## Betty-Boo

Silverbird       so sorry to hear of your DH's passing. 
Lovely to see you in here - lots of advice etc and so many that have wee ones to give us inspiration too.


Take care Mini xxxx


----------



## silverbird

Thanks Mini Minx.  I'm hoping to make a real life meet up some time, it would be great to meet some single mothers and see how it works IRL.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello silverbird and welcome   
so sorry to hear about your DH   
if you're in/near London, we're meeting on Oct 1st for lunch at Strada, London Bridge - check out the thread, and if not, there's sure to be another get together soon
best of luck,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Diesy

Welcome to the gang Silverbird and so sorry to hear about your dh  

The forum is brilliant for info and support.  I haven't made it to a meetup yet, being based north of the border.  But I still get a great deal out the forum and have enjoyed meeting new friends who are a little more local   Or those that get about at bit, lol Mini 

Good luck finding stuff out, can be overwhelming but that's what this is for, thankfully  

Take care - Diesy


----------



## silverbird

Thanks Suitcase and Diesy.  I don't live near London but I may still try and make the october meet up.  At the mo I feel like I've spent all summer on coaches travling round the country but hopefully I'll feel revived enough to make a trip again by oct!

I have to admit I've been stalking for a while before joining and finding it all very useful.


----------



## lullaby

Thank you  Lou-Ann for the welcome and also thnks to Mini  for the link  
I'm in touch with Claudia of Genne.t I will keep ypu and the ladies of the Gennet forum posted about the outcome!!! 
Lullaby


----------



## Lou-Ann

Silverbird, welcome to the board   . Sorry to hear about your DH    . Good luck with your journey   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Jellybaby

Hi ladies,
May I join you please?  I am now a single mum after my husband decided to have an affair when pregnant with our lovely twins (4 months old today!).  I also have a beautiful daughter who is 3.  
Michelle. xx


----------



## Jellybaby

ooops - just realsied this thread was for people using donor eggs / sperm - sorry!  IS there anywhere for me to post?
Thanks,
Michelle.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

michelle - sorry to hear about your DH's affair, must have been very tough for you   

you are more than welcome to post here hun - yes, most of us are single and using donor sperm (and eggs in some cases) but we;d be happy to have you chat if you'd like to - maybe join the singlies with toddlers/babies threads? (over on singles pregnancy and parenting board)

do you chat on the twins and more mums thread 1st 12 months? I post there too - my boys are 5.5 months now - and it's a very supportive friendly thread   

Suitcase
x


----------



## morrigan

Welcome jellybaby - Its not exclusively for those using donors just happens that alot do - we've all got the single thing in common. Would love to here from you over in parenting threads - sounds like you have some adorable bundles !


----------



## sweet1

welcome jellybaby - please post here! Congratulations on your twins x


----------



## agate

Hi ladies:  hope you don't mind if I join this bit of the board.  As I've now split with DH, I know that my Tx will now be donor sperm (and I want to stay with my current clinic - in greece), but I don't know whether I should move on to donor eggs yet and whether I should buy open donor sperm for IVF or go for anon donor sperm.  

anyway, I'm hoping for some help/support because I'm 'old' with the IF stuff (I got lucky and had BB after ICSI 3) but 'new' with the donor stuff.

I see there are meet ups sometimes in London - does anyone meet up in the North?


----------



## Rose39

Agate - sending you huge hugs. Sorry to hear you've been going through such a difficult time.     

You've helped so many of us "immunies" (there are quite a few of the single ladies who have had immune tx) - anything I can do to help you re: DS or DE questions, please just ask.

The singles board is very supportive - welcome!

Rose xx


----------



## GIAToo

Agate - I know how much you have helped other people on FF (and me!) and I'm really sorry to hear of your split with DH     

If you have a browse through the singles board, there are quite a few threads you might want to look at - one is Single Women Needing Donor Eggs and another is Single Women Considering Donor Eggs.

But as Cem said, just post on any of the threads with any questions   

Take care
GIA Tooxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

agate - so sorry to hear that things have not worked out with DH    

have used both DE and DS, feel free to shout if I can be of any assistance
take care
Suitcase
x


----------



## agate

thanks ladies - I do have a heap of questions but they are all of the emotional kind rather than the technical kind right now. I posted here

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=270622.0

thanks again


----------



## Lou-Ann

agate, welcome to the board, but sorry that you are having to post here due to the split with your DH   . You'll get loads of support and info off the ladies on here   .

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Fraggles

Oh agate big hugs honey.

Don't want to overwhelm you but if you are in the vicinity of London we have a singles meet up on 2nd October at Strada Riverside More near London Bridge.

We have regular meets up so if you fancy coming along it would be good to see you.

We all have lots of experience of giving emotional support.

Lots of love

xxx


----------



## Fraggles

Oh Agate just saw that you asked about meetings in the North, whereabouts are you thinking? As no doubt some of us could venture North depending on where it is.

xxx


----------



## jack2009

Hi ladies,

I would like to join please!

I am going for baseline scan tomorrow with EG w/c 12th september!

Had one failed IVF and one failed DIUI so here is hoping for cycle 3!! So so desperate for a sibling for my DS.

Looking forwarded to chatting with you ladies!


----------



## GIAToo

Welcome jack and good luck for this cycle    

Fraggles/Agate - I thought the meet up was on 1st October (not 2nd)?  Anyway, the thread is called "Autumn Meet up" or something.   

GIA Tooxx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Jack, and welcome! Good luck for EC - fingers crossed that all goes very well and this results in a sibling for your first bub.  As well as the IVF and TWW threads on the single boards, you might also want to have a squizz at the following thread for those in a similar position to you: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=244264.0.

Best of luck,

A-Mx


----------



## jack2009

Thanks Indekiwi thats great i posted on there too.

Well started stims today so on course for EC around the 12th sept yikes. I am a little concerned i on a high dosage 4 amps of menopur and 0.2 burselin. Anyone else had that much before?


----------



## agate

4 amps menopur - 300 iu - I had that for my last 2 cycles (the 1st one of those gave me bb).  its not an extremely high dose - I'd guess its fairly average for ladies +35ish?


----------



## jack2009

thanks girls guess its pretty normal then phew.


----------



## greatgazza

welcome jack hope this cycle is going well.

agate, really sorry to see you here (because of the split not because i'm sorry to see you here, if you see what i mean!!).  As has already been said you have helped so many on here, and me more than many, so if there's anything you need then just shout.

GG xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the board Jack and good luck with your tx   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello Ladies,

Just want to wish you all lots and lots of luck on here.  Keep persevering.  I am 47 single and 6 months pregnant!  Thanks to the wonderful people at The Lister Hospital this is my 4th attempt but I am over the moon.  Are there any single girls in the Godalming area?  Would love to know.

Love to you all

Gillian xxxxxxxxx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Gillian,

welcome and congratulations   

I'm near Guildford and there are a few of us in G'ford/Woking - PM me if you want to meet for a coffee sometime...I have 7mth old twins and am on maternity leave...

Suitcase
x


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hi Suitcase

How lovely to hear from a local girl in a similar position.  I would love to meet up for a coffee.  
Gillian xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Gillian - Sharry has probably PM'd you to suggest sending me a message with your contact details as this is an open forum and better not to put phone numbers etc on here   
(I saw your post earlier but was on my phone so couldn't reply easily and didn't jot down your number)
I will send you a message - if you go to My messages at teh top of the page along from the orange Home box you'll be able to reply   
Suitcase
x


----------



## Mum of 1 at last!

Hi all - mind if I join you  

Its not long since I found / joined FF but I wish I had found it years ago!, I have been posting on the Greece thread but now I am just beginning to question if I am doing the right thing??  

I think the reason is, is so many positives on the Serum thread with multiples and I am wondering if I will cope? I have actually convinced myself that it will work this time   previously I have not been very optimistic    I think its because I read my stars the other day! now not one to believe in these things normally, but 2 lots said that I would conceive in November (or words to that effect!  ) thinking about it I only read my stars about once every three months anyway!

I have had a quick read through previous posts and noticed that some of you have lost your partners which i am truly sorry for   however on a positive note for me - it was my anniversary yesterday! my one year anniversary since I told my DH to 'sort his life out and grow up or flip off out of mine'! I have been in an abusive relationship for the last 10 years and didnt realise quite how bad it was until I told him where to go - it was quite honestly the best decision I have ever made!   

Anyway look forward to chatting and hope you can allay some of my fears!

Sarah xx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Lincsarah- Wobbles are normal!- Good luck with the cycle- hope this the one x


----------



## agate

LincsSarah said:


> I think the reason is, is so many positives on the Serum thread with multiples and I am wondering if I will cope?


you will probably want a chat with penny about how many embryos to transfer. If your lining looks good and the embryos look good on transfer day, penny tends to think your chance of pg will be about 60% - and if you have 3 or more put back she gives it a 50:50 chance of twins (and a tiny chance of triplets). If you would be happy to have twins then putting 3 back isn't a terrible idea, but if you would dread having twins, then, my understanding is that having 2 embies transferred rather than 3 will reduce your chance of getting pregnant only by a bit, e.g., to 50% but drop your twins:singleton chance to something more like 25%:75%... so a realistic chance of a singleton of about 40% and twins about 10%... compared to having 3 put back and having a realistic chance of a singleton of maybe 30% and twins of 30% - live birth rates are a bit lower than pregnancy rates all round though - and all the chances will drop somewhat if your lining looks less than fabulous on the day or your bloodwork is iffy etc - so it may be that you can't really have a full discussion about this until embryo transfer day. She will tend to ask you whether you would be happy to have twins and if so, will suggest putting 3 back (assuming all other factors look good - for ladies having OE with more iffy embryos, she will often do transfers of 4 embryos) but if you wouldn't be happy if you had twins, she won't push you to have 3 put back. There are a lot of multiples on the serum thread but as far as I know, they all opted to have at least 3 put back so they did decide to opt into the risk of twins on transfer day. Where 3 are put back, she has had at least 3 cases of triplet pregnancies, but I think either one triplet has been lost early on in the pregnancy or the lady has opted for selective reduction - so far - although roo is just pregnant with triplets at the moment.

I had a lot of emotional turmoil wondering whether I could go through selective reduction if I was pregnant with triplets (there is no way I could cope on my own with triplets plus bb) and eventually I thought about all the embryos that I have not transferred and that have just been allowed to 'die in the dish' as it were because they weren't 'good enough' to transfer... and I decided that I could convince myself that it wouldn't be much worse than doing that.... but I would still dread having the procedure due to the increased risk of miscarriage etc and that might mean that I couldn't go through with the procedure. Other ladies on the thread have mentioned keeping the babies you could cope with and letting any others be adopted by some of the ladies desperate to adopt....but the emotional stuff attached to that would be enormous.


----------



## Mum of 1 at last!

Thanks Ladies  

Not long to go now Morrigan  hope all goes well  

Agate - I wouldnt have a problem with twins (I am a twin myself!)     

Triplets is a bit different though - lol!

The thing is I have had so many transfers with grade 1 embies / blasts and perfect linings, yet it never seems to work?  

I suppose it is just something I will need to think about    

I do know that if I did somehow end up with 3 implanting, there is no way that I could give one away - how would you choose?, what would the child think when they grew up knowing that they had been given away?, Just my personal opinion as I know that couples / singles are desperate, but that would never be an option for me  - I would find a way to cope.

good luck on being PUPO by the way   - I just saw your news on the SERUM thread - lots of baby dust heading your way! 

Hi to everyone else!

Sarah xx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Sarah, welcome to the singles board   I hope you get lucky with Serum, seems like a great place for tx.  And, yes, much nicer to be single than with some nutcase intent on making their partner's life a misery.  Nice to look back and go phew...I do that  

I think we all go through times when we think WTF am I doing, I was having one of those of Friday night when I read you post   Especially with something like this.  I try not to listen to that load coherent voice (fingers in ears, lets hum together) and instead let my fingers do the walking.  ie My subconscious does it all    ...I wish my subconscious would go to work for me, but it wouldn't like it and it would probably cause A LOT of trouble...mmm.


----------



## agate

LincsSarah said:


> I do know that if I did somehow end up with 3 implanting, there is no way that I could give one away - how would you choose?, what would the child think when they grew up knowing that they had been given away?, Just my personal opinion as I know that couples / singles are desperate, but that would never be an option for me - I would find a way to cope.


exactly the same sort of stuff I was thinking. I couldn't do it. I'd get by somehow - and at least I've had the experience of looking after bb first - so wouldn't be as clueless as I was when bb arrived - but I don't know how I'd manage financially.


----------



## overDAbridge

Hello 

I'm moonlighting on the singles board to try and hook up with some women who have done the reprofit thing. 

MY DW - F/F partner and I are running out of options and money and were to keen to look into reprofit more to see if this really could be an option for us. 

Any help or a link in the right direction would be appreciated. 

Bridge.


----------



## LondonSuperTrooper

Hi everyone,

I'm a newbie and this is my first time on this forum. I am 38 years old and I already have a 4 year DS. I would like to have another child but not sure of how to start lookig into sperm donations. Do I need to go through clinics etc?

Any advice would be great as I'm completley clueless about this!


----------



## agate

LondonSuperTrooper said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I'm a newbie and this is my first time on this forum. I am 38 years old and I already have a 4 year DS. I would like to have another child but not sure of how to start lookig into sperm donations. Do I need to go through clinics etc?
> 
> Any advice would be great as I'm completley clueless about this!


you probably would need to go through a licenced clinic as its the only way to be sure that the donor has been screened for hiv, hep b, hep c and stds. you'd normally expect to have a few tests done yourself first - to check that your hormone levels look right, that your tubes are open, that your ovaries look normal etc before you have your first insemination (DIUI)

if you go to hfea.gov.uk there is a search facility to find the clinics nearest to you.

in the UK, sperm donors, have to agree that any resulting child will have access to identifying information about them when the child is 18. in other countries, sperm donation is anonymous. some uk ladies choose to go abroad e.g., to denmark, for DIUI to access treatment more quickly (donors tend to be happier to come forward where sperm donation is anonymous, so there can sometimes be quite a wait for sperm in the uk - so its worth asking how long the wait for a match might be)


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi LST - further to agates reply - most clinics in the UK accept DS from sites such as European sperm bank and Xytex (USA)  - you'll need to make sure the donor is UK compliant, you do get a lot more info from these banks.  Although the ESB does sting you for a £1000 pregnancy slot (this is because each donor is only allowed a number of pregnancies ... so you're paying for the slot in advance).


First step though would be to see your GP for the blood tests required ... 


   


Mini xx


----------



## babynumber

Hi Ladies 
Anyone out there, single and thinking of using donor sperm/known donor in Milton Keynes?

I'm thinking of using a few of the online sites or asking friends, but so far too scared!!

x


----------



## jojo74

Hi Everyone,

Am new to this. Am 37 and decided to go it alone. Had AMH test with disappointing results of 2.4, having bloods done at the moment and waiting for scan to check fallopian tubes. It seems such a long road ahead.... Does anyone know if any recommended clinics on the south coast. Would really like a recommendation before investing in treatment,

Thanks xx


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi jojo   and welcome.


I used the Esperance clinic in Eastbourne, a bit home spun but the staff were amazing, really friendly, they remembered me three years later!  It's a small clinic with it's own (also small   ) sperm bank.  The Agora in Hove is a bit more pricey, then there's the Wessex fertility centre in Southampton.  It depends which bit of the coast your on, the 'South Coast' being quite lengthy when I last looked   


Upsyxxx
Just to give you a bit of hope my amh was similar when I conceived my daughter


----------



## Singlemummy

Hi JoJo,

Not sure where you are on the south coast but The Poundbury Clinic in Dorchester is absolutely fantastic! I cannot recommend them highly enough!

I have just had ICSI with them, one little embryo onboard - just enduring the 2 WW! 

Let me know if you would like further details.

Singlemummy x


----------



## jojo74

Thanks Guys, Am in Bournemouth so will look at the one in Dorchester as have read mixed reviews about Wessex.

Will keep fingers crossed for you singlemummy! Thanks upsydaisy, its always good to hear positive stories as it is a daunting doing it alone anyway withut hearing about all the difficulties people go through.

Jojo x


----------



## TobyT

Hi everyone,
Feel quite lost and unsure where to turn.
I have a DS (4yrs old) and had a miscarriage last year (MMC 5wks). 
this year we (I) decided that we should have tests at ARGC to rule out immune problems and during this time, my husband and I have decided to split up.
I now feel in a huge black hole, of wanting to get pregnant again, but knowing that I already have issues (nothing confirmed yet, but I'm sure there are immune issues there) - I'm still waiting for the results back from the ARGC, so it just feels like so many barriers to get over.

Does anyone have any experience of getting pregnant as a single person with immune issues?

I just don't know where to turn (39 next year and can hear that ticking clock all the time).

Thanks and look forward to getting to know you,

TT


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi TT 

and welcome 

I'm sorry to hear about you and your husband splitting up, that must be very tough   

There are quite a few of us here with immune issues, we tend to go to either the CARE clinics (Nottingham in particular) or we use Dr Gorgy for immunes and have our tx at another clinic either in the UK or abroad. I personally have high NK cells and had my tx in Czech with Dr G for immunes
ARGC have historically refused to treat single women - I'm not sure if this is still the case, or if they can get away with it under discrimination laws now, but you would be advised to check their stance on it before you get too much further down the track with them
Hope this isn't just more bad news for you but better to know now if you need to change clinics

Happy to answer any specific questions you may have. I guess your first step is to get your results back to see what, if any, immune probs you have, and go from there

big    - it must all feel very daunting but there are plenty of success stories here   
Suitcase
x


----------



## GIAToo

TT - just wanted to welcome you to the singlies     So sorry that you and DH have decided to split.

I only had slightly raised NK cells, which was sorted with prednisilone, and never went down the full immunes investigations/treatments, but as Suitcase says, there are others who have and been successful.

Look after yourself and I hope that you are wrong about havng immunes issues, but if you're not, there is a way forward. 

I have heard lots of good things about Care. 

GIAToo xx


----------



## agate

Hi... just wanted to say there is an immunes board... have a look at the link in my signature... and just to mention that serum in athens also do immunes work too... and its a very 'comfy' clinic to cycle with.

I guess I am in a similar position to you too, having split with my ex since having bb... and continuing with tx on my own.

all the best

A x


----------



## TobyT

Thanks - it's so good to have somewhere to talk about this stuff, I feel like my head is going to explode most of the time at the moment, but have to keep "relatively" (!) on top of things for my 4 year old!
That's really reassuring to know that there are clinics who will treat single women and also have experience of immunes. I had heard that about ARGC, but we had already started down the path with them, so I thought I'd at least get the tests done and then I would have more info to come up with a plan.

Suitcase - do most other clinics in the UK work with Dr Gorgy - if you go with test results will they take them onboard? I've never had much luck with getting clinics to take seriously my concerns about immune issues, but obviously it would be so much easier to cycle with a local clinic.

Thanks GIAtoo - so good to feel like there is some support (even if virtual), makes me feel that this could be possible and so I have something to look forward to.

Agate - are you cycling with the clinic in Athens....? 

I'm sorry that there are others in similar situations, it just seems like a never ending uphill struggle sometimes.

Thanks again for the welcome,

TT


----------



## agate

TobyT said:


> Agate - are you cycling with the clinic in Athens....?


yes

I think whether another clinic is happy to work with gorgy or not will vary a lot - some will be very hostile to it - some will probably agree to do it grudgingly - I certainly can't think of many ladies who have said their clinics are particularly happy about getting part of the treatment elsewhere. some other clinics do their own immune programmes, e.g., Care, Zita West, CRMW, ARGC, Lister - I've tried to put a lot of info about what is on offer into the immunes faq. Also, some overseas docs will work with you by phone and provide instructions to a UK clinic if you want that too e.g., AEB and Braverman in the US, and if the UK clinic will agree to do it.


----------



## bethy_17

Hi there everyone Im new to this site - I split up rom my partner 2 months ago after he admitted he didnt really want children. Devastated.  So I am now looking into donor sperm.
Hoping to hear from anyone with any advice and have already had lots of support from you lovely ladies. Bxx


----------



## lulumead

Hi Bethy
Just wanted to say hi and send some   for your break-up. I am sure we will be able to offer you lots of advice, so feel free to ask any questions   
There are also lots of different threads to post on.  Have you already got a clinic that you have been to?
xx


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hi Bethy,

I've sent you a direct message. You'll find tonnes of support on here. There are so many of us who have been in a similar situation to you and whilst it is so painful and so hard I hope you can find comfort in the fact that there can be a way forward.

Hoping 2012 will be your year!!

Smiling xx


----------



## nightflower

Hello everyone!

I am new to your great company, live in Athens Greece, single, 41, and seriously thinking to become a single mother. My doctor ordered some tests to see "where we stand", and I got FSH 5.4, LH 2.6 and AMH 9.9. He asked me to visit him again on the 11th day of my next cycle. I don t no much about how we could proceed, just started reading around the internet etc. 

I'm anxious about the sperm issue, does anyone know about sperm banks in Greece? Or would it be better to have some from abroad?

I would also be glad to discuss with other women thinking of / having already become single mothers... There are so many things that no one else understands!!!

Thank you for your time


----------



## agate

hi nightflower - I'm uk based but I have treatment at serum clinic in athens.  I have a thread about my experiences with serum and I put some info about sperm donation in there.  link is in my signature.


----------



## Madeline Dunn

Morning to all in the newbies

Looking for anyone getting started in the West Sussex area that can give me some up to date info regarding Surrey & Sussex PCT and NHS funding.

Would be most greatful of any help you can give me.

Thanks

Madeline


----------



## Tommi

Hi Madeline
I have sent you a PM but didn't see this q on here. As far as I'm aware there isn't any funding at all for single women (and very little for couples). I think they are known for being particularly tight regarding fertility treatment compared with other areas (but that's just what I've heard   )!
Good luck! 
T xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hello Madeline and welcome   

I'm afraid the bad news is that Tommi is right - IVF funding is very scarce and most PCTs have very strict criteria which exclude single women. Surrey (my PCT) def does not offer free fertility tx for single women, even those with known fertility issues. Not sure about W Sussex but expect it will be the same

There are1 or maybe 2 single women who have managed to get funding, I think in Wales, but otherwise the vast majority of us pay for our own treatment privately which can be very expensive in the UK - hence why quite a few of us go abroad instead

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but basically you will need to pay for tx yourself. 
Suitcase
x


----------



## Tommi

The funding issue is really interesting. It would be fairly easy to challenge PCTs, certainly on ethical grounds, if you had the energy (virtually impossible for them to mount a moral defense given the evidence). But also, with more and more reports like the Children's Society Good Childhood Report 2012 finding that children need positive relationships with minimum conflict far more than they need a particular family structure (i.e. mum and a dad, cat and a dog) PCTs may well find themselves in the position of having to make a judgement on the quality of the relationship of couples they treat in order to be consistent with the research. Can't see that happening. So might we see a time when no treatment gets funded? Or will they have to swallow their pride and prejudices and get on with funding treatment for single women because they won't have any sensible grounds on which to refuse treatment? 

If anyone's on ******* have a look at the #goodchildhood hashtag. Makes very interesting reading.

T xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Agree if you are single but with known fertility issues (eg blocked tubes) then you could probably mount a case for discrimination but the time and energy it would take (and potentially money for solicitors etc) are probably not worth it - especially if your priority is to get pregnant sooner rather than later

Suspect the way things are going, no fertilty tx will be NHS funded in the future


----------



## Tommi

I'm sure it's the time/energy thing that means there have been so few cases (if any). When ttc on your own it takes so much time/energy that fighting that kind of system is way down the list of priorities! But with such mounting evidence that one committed parent is better than two who are in _any_ degree of conflict, PCTs who refuse treatment for single women but not couples are going to look ignorant. As you say Suity, I think their way round that will be to refuse treatment for everyone. Not good at all!


----------



## LittleMsGrowingRoots

Hello all! Am new to FF, am awaiting first attempt at IUI (natural cycle) as a single 38 year old! Looking for friends that have been there or are going through it too! I'm going through the LOndon's Womens clinic - anyone else?
Will pop a photo on soon!
Hope to make some new friends soon!
xx xx


----------



## indekiwi

Little Ms! Welcome to the singles board.  Not sure anyone is going through a cycle of IUI at the moment but there are plenty of ladies now posting on the bumps and babies side of the board who conceived their bubs through IUI (me included with respect to my son) and some through LWC. Hopefully some of them will come and introduce themselves shortly but in the meantime, it might be worth resurrecting the following thread and posting there too (historically it has been a very busy thread since it tends to be where many singles start their treatment journeys): http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243822.msg4675672#new There is also a load of information within so you might find it a very useful resource. Wishing you lots of luck going forward. 

Oops - nearly forgot - it's chat night tonight in the chat room - think from around 7:30 pm. Come say hello in real time if you're free! Click on the chat room icon at the top of the FF page, go to the right side of the next page and click on rooms, then go down the list until you see singles and click on the door that appears to the right. You will be very welcome (as will any other lurking newbies!  )

A-Mx


----------



## Tommi

Hello Little Ms!  

Welcome! Good to hear you're about to start treatment. I had two cycles of IUI last year, one natural and one with clomid. I have since changed clinic (lots of reasons) and am about to have another round of IUI on a totally different protocol with the added bonus (for me) of progesterone support afterwards. I had early spotting leading to a heavy bleed after both my IUIs so the new clinic wants to make sure there's plenty of progesterone in there. My old clinic would only offer progesterone after IVF, not IUI. They were very pro IVF and had terrible success rates for IUI whereas the new place has fantastic IUI success rates.

So, I'll be going for IUI in Feb, and after going to the clinic today for more blood tests (and I was shown round the treatment rooms and saw where the embryologists work and the room where all the frozen embryos/sperm are) I can't wait! Feel so much more positive about the new place, especially as they aren't hung up on a woman over 40 wanting to be a mum!

Good luck!    

T xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the boards Little Ms and good luck with your journey   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Diesy

Welcome to FF Little Ms!  Lots of lovely people here.  If you post on the IUI thread we'll be around to pitch in.  Let us know when you are 'going in'    

Goooood luck!


----------



## lulumead

Hello newbies,

Lovely to see more and more people joining us.

I have bumped the IUI thread onto the front page as I think it has been a it quiet but hopefully about to get busy again.
Xxx


----------



## some1

Welcome Little Ms and good luck with your IUI!

Some1

xx


----------



## time2bmom

Hi all
I'm new..  I'm starting to wear a permanent dear in headlights expression! 

I'm 32. Have been single since my husband and I split up nearly 2 years ago. Realised I actually don't HAVE to wait to meet someone to have the chance of being a mother so I've embarked on this journey and would love to be able to talk to people in the same boat. 
Still researching options and haven't a scooby where to start.. doctors appointment later in the week. Hopefully won't get the "look".

Anyway.. hi.
M


----------



## Diesy

Hi M,

Welcome to the team!  I haven't really had 'the look' off the medical profession, they are too busy telling me I'm too old!  Although I was told I was too single    Good luck with your doc.  You're likely in pretty good shape but there are a couple of NHS tests that you can get.  Fsh and 21 day progesterone.  I think fsh is done on day 3-5 of your cycle then the progesterone on day 21.  These will give you an idea how far away from menopause you are and if you are ovulating.  Always a good start   I went straight for my AMH and a scan private so that was good.  At your age I'd get the first two.  Added bonus is they are FREE!  And you won't here that much again on this thread.  

Well, lovely that you have joined us!
Diesy


----------



## time2bmom

Thank you Diesy! OMG I have so much to learn lol


----------



## Tommi

Hi M!  

Welcome! Nothing to add to Diesy's wise words but just wanted to say hi and good luck  

You're in the right place. These ladies have kept me sane over the last six months! 

T xx


----------



## Diesy

Hi M - yup, there sure is a lot to take in but lots of people to reply to your posts.  Safety in numbers!

Tommi - me wise!    I'll pay you later.


----------



## Tommi

Diesy... you're very wise    And that's a freebie!   Txx


----------



## karenstar

Hi Everyone

I'm new here. 36, single, on first DIUI cycle and extremely anxious. The clinic haven't been too good at telling me what to expect so far. I've been told I get a choice of 2 donors but they haven't said when I'll get the donor information and how much time I get to choose. Just said someone would be in touch. I know I start LH testing on the 1st. I've asked on a thread for my clinic but not had a reply so far. I have very little support from friends and no family support so it's good to find this website.

Good luck to everyone currently trying.

Karen


----------



## Tommi

Hi Karen

Welcome! You're in the right place  

Sorry to hear you're feeling anxious... but then, that's only to be expected. I remember telling my GP I was feeling like that and he said he was pleased and that he'd be concerned if I wasn't. It's a big thing to do and a degree of anticipation just shows that you are aware of the steps you're taking.  

It's a shame that your clinic hasn't been great at telling you what to expect. My guess is that an embryologist will get in touch when they know you have started your period (which I guess you have if you're LH testing from 1st). It may be only then that they will know which donors are available to you.

When I went for my first DIUI my clinic was extremely cagey about the donors so I got in touch with the Donor Conception Network to ask exactly what I can expect to be told. I was referred to this section of the 8th Code of Practice:

20.1
The centre should give people seeking treatment with donated gametes or embryos:a)  relevant non-identifying information about donors whose gametes are available to them, including the goodwill message and the pen-portrait (if available), and
b) relevant information about genetic inheritance and, in particular, the likelihood of inheriting physical characteristics from the donor.

That said, I still wasn't allowed to see the goodwill message and when I asked about genetic inheritance and physical characteristics I got told in no uncertain terms I had no right to ask. I didn't push it at the time but I would in future. Fortunately my new clinic has been absolutely open right from the start so it hasn't been an issue there. 

In my experience clinics vary dramatically, to the point where I cannot believe they are operating in the same country under the same rules. If you're not 100% happy with the way things are going at your clinic, change to a different one. It might make all the difference.

Good luck! I really hope that things work out for you.  

T xx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Karen,

Welcome to FF and good luck with your IUI. Lots of peeps on here have IUIed so if you post on the IUI thread you will gets lots of info and support. I was going for IUI but have switched to IVF but found the posts full of info on here invaluable. Don't be shy 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243822.0

Diesy


----------



## lulumead

Hi Karen
It's totally normal to feel a bit freaked out!! And not helpful when clinic don't tell you what will happen....I think each place does things differently with donors but always remember you can take your time to decide. One of the key things would be to know if they have proven fertility, I never even thought of asking this when I started out but obviously it's the most important thing!! You want a donor that can deliver the goods ;-)

I also found it easier to think about a donor who fitted with my family makeup rather than who I would choose as a partner and in the end I choose to import sperm as I liked being in control of who the donor was. You could consider this in the future if needed but hopefully you will be first time lucky. 

Good luck and post on the IUI board and we can all chip in with advice.
Xxx


----------



## jojo74

Hi Karen,

If you are paying for it yourself and want more control you could consider ordering it yourself and have it delivered to the clinic.My clinic don't use Uk sperm donors so I've been told to choose from CRYOS which is a Denmark based sperm bank. you can Google it, they have a good website. It's great as you get loads of information about the donor, their families and medical background. You can also see baby photos and read their personal statement about why they are donating.

Afraid I don't know anything about IUI as having to go straight to ICSI, good luck!

jojo x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi karen and welcome to FF! Good luck with your treatment   

Lou-Ann x


----------



## karenstar

Thanks everyone for the lovely replies.   My clinic is supposed to be quite good. Until now they have been on the ball. They have their own donors rather than importing. 

Take care.
Karen


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Karen

Nice to meet you. There is a fabulous bunch of single women on here at various stages of their journey, some whose families have been totally supportive and others, myself included whose families have been less so. However, for me the friends I have made on here have been a lifesaver during all the twists and turns and helped when I have been having those head screw moments that occur. It might be worth asking your clinic if you can import your own sperm if you want more control and would pay for that. They might do that option but if you haven't asked they may not have given you that choice.

On my first iui I was due to have a consult one day and they iui the day after. The evening before the consult I thought seriously about chickening out and then only went for the consult thinking I could do a runner to do the airport afterwards because I couldn't figure how I got to be doing this. However ...... it turned out differently. They did a test and told me to come back an hour later so of I went for lunch. When I went back they told me I was ovulating so instead of doing a runner back to the UK I found myself having iui on the same day as my consult. LOL so there was no backing out.

If you aren't impressed with the clinic you could always come up with a list of questions to ask them. Hopefully this time is successful for you but many of us went abroad which is a little scary the first time but simple enough the second.

Good luck.

xxx


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello Girls

Haven't been on here for a while I am a single girl of 47 years and gave birth to my little baby boy on the 18th January.  With donor egg and donor sperm to me he is the most amazing gift god could have ever given me.  As far as i am aware there is no funding for single girls as the NHS dont morally agree with it but more fool them.  Never give up.  I believe acupuncture helped me, The Lister Hospital were absolutely fantastic, careful diet, no alcohol and a lot of help from him up there.  I have been given the most amazing gift.  Don't ever give up girls.  If there are any girls in the same position as me in the Guildford area do write to me a it would be lovely to meet or get in touch.

Lots of love and good luck sprinkle dust to everyone on here

EVERHOPEFUL xxx


----------



## indekiwi

Everhopeful, many congratulations on the birth of your baby!  There are a number of regular contributors to the single women's board in your area, including Suitcase of Dreams, Starbuck and I think Dawn - all of whom have kids now.    Suity also has double donor conceived boys.  Pop on to the single women's babies thread where there have been a number of babies born over the past six to eight weeks, again including some conceived with the help of two donors.  


Congratulations again!


A-Mx


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hi there

Just a few other points i found very helpful to me.  |The acupuncturist in Godalming that i started 5 months before IVF is name is David Weiss in Godalming. A very charming man very calm and reassuring doesn't make any promises but has helped lots of ladies with infertility problems as well as ladies undergoing or about to undergo IVF. I truly believe that acupuncture thickens the lining of the womb and prepares the body beautifully and essentially for treatment.  As far as donor sperm my clinic the Lister Hospital advised me to go to Xytex, a sperm bank in the US you can look on their website and choose a donor.  They have to have open identity and i felt safer going for someone who has definitely got a proven record of successful pregnancies.  I could also see the male donors maternal and paternal history, a summary about him and his interests, allergies, medical history etc and photographs of him.  I would never have had that in this country.  Also this was my fourth attemp before i was successful so i was able to freeze his sperm here in the Lister Hospital.  Another important point to make is when looking for a female donor as i did if you are CMV negative then the female donor should also be CMV negative this is a very important point.  The Lister Hospital is a fantastic place where the nurses and also egg donation nurses inform you fully every step of the way what to expect and if you have concerns will always call you back as did Mr Hassam Abdulla the Head man at The Lister - i would recommend them highly.  The other gentleman Obstetrician who i would recommend highly is Mr Jeffrey Braithwaite in Wimpole Street.  He delivers privately in The Portland Hospital London but deals with a lot of ladies like myself who have undergone IVF and was very reassuring and if i had any problems or concerns i could call at any time of day or night without any bother.

I do hope this information helps someone out there.

EVERHOPEFUL xx


----------



## everhopeful1234

Thank you kindly -mx xxxx


----------



## LondonKat

Hello LittleMs and hello to everyone!
I'm 36 and single and seriously considering starting my own family and not wait anylonger  for "Mister" to show up!  But of course I am scared and I have a lot of questions but I know for sure that yes, I can live without a man but no, I cannot spend the rest of my life childless..so here I am! 

I am considering having treatment with the London Women's clinic. I went to several seminars ( Inseminar, the alternative family show) and I feel very comfortable with them. I probably will give myself another year depending on my fertility level ( that I will test with The WLC) to get financially and mentally prepared for this adventure!... I would be glad to chat with you or any woman in my position and perhaps organize some meet ups to support eachother in this  scary but wonderful journey!I am based in London.

I hope to hear from you soon and good luck to everyone! X


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello Londonkat

I can't talk about your clinic but my experience was in The Lister Hospital that I went to as they have a high success rate. Yes it is a lot mentally to go through bit worth all the heartache. It took me 4 goes but am now blessed with a 14 day old wonderful little boy. I am always here if you need to speak or ask any questions. I found the people on this website very compassionate and understanding.  

Lots and lots of luck and good fortiune

Everhopeful x


----------



## majestic

Hi Everyone,

I am not entirely new to this site but this is my first post.  I made up my mind ages ago to embark on this journey of single motherhood (practically a year ago!) and have been reading the posts on here almost daily and absorbing as much info as possible. After countless failed relationships (the last one leaving me an emotional wreck  ) meeting my soul mate is no longer a priority.  I need to get my  in gear as time is not on my side and with the added issue of fibroids, my journey will no doubt prove even more difficult.  Other than the issues mentioned my periods are regular albeit I realise this doesn't indicate optimum fertility. I have countless questions and no doubt will be bombarding you with these but just wanted to introduce myself and wish everyone the best of luck with their journeys. 

Heddie x


----------



## LondonKat

Hello Heddie,
Congratulation for your 1st post! ;-)) 

I know exactly how you feel and I have sooooooooo many questions too!!... it is no an easy decision to make but the alternative seems so dreadful. I'm in my mid-thirties which is really a tricky place to be as I feel torn between waiting a bit longer to make sure it is really my last option to ever become a mother or just take the plunge now. We all have our doubts and hopes and are here to support each others and get as much info as possible. Its reassuring to know that we are many on the same boat!


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello Heddie

I too had lots of fibroids growing on the outside of the womb.  I had two major myomectomie to have tghem cut out and still i conceived.  The best man to go to to remove fibroids is a gynaecologist calld Mr Alan Farthing who is in Harley Street.  A really charming gentleman and the best at what he does.  

EVERHOPEFUL


----------



## majestic

Hi LondonKat
Thank you for your warm welcome and yes it is comforting to know we are not alone. You are slightly ahead of me as I am still deciding on a clinic. I feel a bit overwhelmed by it all but once I have managed to do this, there will be no turning back. I agree it’s not an easy decision to make and only you will know what’s right for you.  

Everhopeful thank you for your advice and congratulations on the birth of your little boy - you must be over the moon. Reading your story and others alike is so encouraging - I   that one day I will have my own little success story to tell xxx.


----------



## Tommi

Hi Heddie
Welcome! Whereabouts are you? Have you got good clinics nearby?
Good luck to everyone taking first steps. For me the first step was hardest and when I got to my first treatment it felt so right I just couldn't understand why I'd taken sooo long to decide! 
I'm sure it's been said before on here but you can meet a lovely guy at any age... I've just been to a wedding... bride was 78, groom was 76. Sometimes other more important things like growing babies have to take priority! 
Txx


----------



## everhopeful1234

Never lose hope Londonkat eat sensibly, look after your body and pray!!


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello Indekiwi

Could you please post on here the link to Single women with babies as i can't find the link!  Thank you

Everhopeful


----------



## Betty-Boo

Everhopful - if you go to the top of this board, there's a link to the Singles Pregnancy and Parenting board.


Hope that helps   


Mini xx


----------



## caramac

Mini - there isn't a link though! I noticed this recently...I don't think the link was made a sticky and so it's disappeared.

Sharry, perhaps you could add one?


----------



## indekiwi

The link is there ladies - the singles pregnancy and babies threads now comprise a sub board of the single women's board, which has its own little box and everything.  However, to make it super easy, please click on the following path: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=477.0. Lots and lots of threads to read through (and definitely to post on!).

Welcome to Heddie, LondonKat, KarenStar and anyone else I might have missed of late.  Please please please come post on some of the threads that seem most appropriate to you, whether it be IUI, IVF, Donor Egg, Adoption or something else - or start a new thread. There is so much information stored on these threads, and plenty more in the heads of those who have already started their journeys to conceive families as single women. There are also regular meet ups in different areas so that you can meet other women contemplating the same path to motherhood - things become a lot less "virtual" and more "real" and you really get an idea of how many women from many different walks of life have taken this choice. It's much easier when you don't feel so alone.  So please don't let your last post be on the welcome thread - come say hello elsewhere too!

A-Mx


----------



## caramac

Oh yes, I see it now! I was looking for a sticky thread! Doh!


----------



## Banana77

Hey everyone,
Another newbie here! I'm 34 and considering being a single mother by choice. I always assumed I'd be married with a brood of kids by now, I wasn't too worried though as I thought I had all the time in the world...until I found out my fertility levels are dropping and I was advised that if I wanted children I should get cracking! 

I have an initial consultation with London Women's Clinic next week. I have also booked a place on the Donor Conception Network's Preparation for DC Parenthood course at the end of the month so I'm hoping these things will give me the information to make an informed decision. It's all really scary though! I live in London and would love to meet up with anyone else in the same boat


----------



## bethy_17

Hi Banana77 I have made this choice as well recently due to my partner and I separating recently.
At 34 you still have a lot of time and stil ahve time to meet someone.

The London Womens Clinic are offering IVF Lite now which is now becoming a popular option and preferable to IVF as it uses less drugs is better on your body and is cheaper - the idea is that it goes for less eggs but quality not quantity.

Im more than happy to meet up with you and anyone else in a similar boat.
Beth xxx


----------



## Banana77

Hi Beth,
I too have separated from my partner recently. I although I would like to meet someone eventually I know I have low AMH readings and think this could cloud my judgment and encourage me to jump straight into a serious relationship just for the sake of it.

I was thinking about egg sharing if I am suitable for it as I would like to be able to help other people too but I guess I will have to see what they recommend at the consultation.

Are you going for IVF lite? Yes I'm definitely up for a meet up!

Anna xx


----------



## pollita

Hello all

I have already made a couple of posts but I suppose I should properly introduce myself!

I'm 26 (although close enough to 27 to call it) and I have thought about becoming a single mum by choice for the last 2 years since separating from my husband. Now I'm getting to the stage where I'm ready to do it, I"m sure it's the right decision. 

My husband and I had a very messy break up - we had tried for a year to get pregnant and when I finally did get pregnant, he realised that being tied down at 24 with a wife and kids wasn't what he wanted anymore. Within a week I had packed up all my belongings and was on the next plane home (I was living in the US, originally from the UK) and the stress of it all unfortunately led to a miscarriage at just 9 weeks. I was devastated, because the only thing that was really getting me through the huge change in my life was my determination to carry on raising this child without him, but it was all snatched away from me. 

In the last 2 years he has continued to mess me around, and left me feeling that I have no desire to meet another man right now because I'm so scarred by what he has done. 

On top of that I lost my beloved Dad last summer, very suddenly, unexpectedly and too young. My Dad was the best father I could have ever asked for, but it put everything into perspective for me. My dad was amazing not because he was biologically my father but because he was such a lovely person and loved me so much. I'm ready for my family, so I don't feel that I need to wait any longer to start my family. If I meet a man in the future, then my kids and I come as a package, and I will pass up any guy who doesn't accept my family. I won't look for a father for my child/children but instead I will teach my kids that they have lots of people to love them, father or no father. 

Ideally, I'm hoping to have 2 children - having a limited family I want to make sure that they have siblings for when I'm gone. I plan to start treatment at the end of this year/early 2013 and then as long as that all works out, second child before I'm 35.

I'm currently weighing up treatment options - initially I was going to fly to Barcelona to have treatment at the IM by DIUI, but I have since learned (thanks to this board!) about the option of egg sharing and free/discounted IVF here in the UK. I live less than a mile from one of the London Womens Clinics, and have booked a place at their next Inseminar for further information before I make my decision. There are pros and cons to both so I'm having a hard time deciding. A major factor will be LWCs decision on how much medication I'll need for IVF, as I try to keep any medication I take to a minimum, plus I have a huge fear of needles!

So, to wind this lengthy post up, I'm extremely excited and even more nervous about this journey, but it's quite exciting to think that by the end of 2013 I may be a mum! At long last


----------



## Glitterintheair

I'm just off out so can't write much but wanted to send you hugs and very best of luck on your pregnancy I look forward to following your journey xxx


----------



## Diesy

Gawsh, lots of lovely newbies! Hello! Proper post to follow but in the meantime welcome, kick your shoes off and make yourselves at home.
Diesy


----------



## indekiwi

to Banana77, Beth and Pollita.  Hope you find lots of support on these threads as you come to your respective decisions on how to proceed.    Please come and post on threads where you have a particular interest.  There are a couple of meets in the offing as well - one in Harpenden next week (check out the singles bumps and babes board for more details) and Suitcase of Dreams has just initiated a thread about hosting a meet near Guildford in July.  I think another is likely in the north of England and there are regular meets in Bristol as well.  There are a lot of ladies who have successfully walked this path and who continue to post on the singles bumps and babes board - if it all seems overwhelming just now, check out some of the threads there for a bit of inspiration and comfort that you're not alone.   


A-Mx


----------



## morrigan

Lovely to see some new posters - a big welcome - plenty of people to ask questions of. 

With regards to meet ups there often organised by someone just setting up a thread with a date and seeing who can make it- there's been alot of central London meet ups but they are a bit impractical for those of us that have happily been successful - good choice though as London easy to get to.


----------



## sweet1

Welcome to all the newbies. There are a lot of us who have had success in the last year or two - some after many years of trying - we all have different stories to tell but are hopefully testament to the fact dreams can come true. it's lovely to have new people joining our community so a big welcome and hope you stick around xx


----------



## WhatWouldBuffyDo?

Hello everybody! Another new member here. I've been lurking for absolutely ages whilst having IUIs and, after 3 negative results, I thought it was about time I joined in properly.
I've been single for an _unreasonable _number of years, despite protracted and dedicated internet dating efforts, and, like so many others, just never imagined that I wouldn't have a family by now. I still find it so hard to believe that I've never able to even _try _for something so normal and human, if you see what I mean. I'd always said if I was single at 38 I would try by myself, but I decided to start a bit before then, and I'm glad I did because it turns out I've got low AMH so really need to get on with it...
I'm currently waiting to start short protocol IVF. If biology behaves as it ought to, I should start injecting vast quantities of Menopur next week... Hurrah! I can't believe I'm so excited about the prospect of sticking needles in my stomach! 
Best wishes to everyone,
SingleMx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi SingleM, and welcome after all that lurking time    !  Seem to remember doing that for quite some time myself in the beginning.   


Get yourself over to the IVF thread pronto - lots of support to be had as you start your tx next week.   


A-Mx


----------



## pollita

Welcome, SingleM! Wishing you all the best on your next round of treatments x


----------



## bristollas

Hi I've posted about five or six times, but realise the polite thing to do would be to also introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my situation.

I am 42, and almost 7 months pregnant with my son, conceived using donor sperm.

I am also single. 

I am also very nervous, lol. But hopefully I am going to be up for the challenge.

Lovely to meet you all


----------



## morrigan

oo im excited we've enticed some lurkers to post.

good luck singlem.

Congrats bristollas have you found the single bumps thread?


----------



## bristollas

I havent been there yet, but will give it a visit - thanks


----------



## Guest

Hi,
I'm brand new to the site and this whole journey. I'm 32 and single. I'm a bit like some of the other posters because I never really thought about when and how I would have a family, I just presumed it would eventuate along the way, as I was so keen to have a big crowd of kids. As I got older, and started to identify as gay, I still figured I'd just meet someone and together we'd decide to go down the route of having kids, one way or another. But it hasn't really worked out like that and as I live overseas, currently in a fairly remote area for my work, I've got to 32 and haven't met anyone yet. 

I'm adopted, and the desire to have a child that's mine by blood, is pretty overwhelming. So after a lot of thought, and discussions with a counsellor I decided to try and become pregnant through donor conception. I don't feel like I have to be partnered to be a good parent (though it'd be great to meet someone down the track), especially as I have 12 brilliant siblings and, through various marriages, 5 'parents'. This kid's going to have plenty of love! No-one in the family has any experience of this avenue before, and some will find it a challenge to get their heads round. I've only talked about it with my closest sister who is great about it. At the moment I'm hoping to find support and encouragement on these excellent boards, and also a lot of info, because there's so much to learn and it's daunting to say the least.

My situation is complicated (in a useful way I guess!) by the fact i have dual nationality and can have treatment in Australia, where I live, or the UK where I'm from. I still haven't really got a handle on which would be best/ most possible. Any advice would be most appreciated. At the moment I don't live near a city and won't for at least 6 months, so I'm going a bit loopy not even being able to get any preliminary appointments or start the ball rolling.

So that's me, and I look forward to hearing any advice from others and sharing your experiences.

Arran Boat Song


----------



## LittleMsGrowingRoots

Hello to all the other newbies (am a new member - and on first donor IUI 2ww)
Single and 38 - in need of being a mummy moreso than a wife!
I too have thought about it for a good few years, but I finally realised that it was as simple as do i want to be a mum or not? My answer was YES! I have found the London Women's Clinic very helpful. They also do a 3 for 2 offer on most treatments, and a varied choice of donors available to book online (that was weird! But not as weird as asking for the 3 for 2 offer when i rang to pay - i did giggle!) from the London Sperm Bank.
I am completely unexperienced compared to most on this site - but am really happy to chat to anyone single and considering starting on their journey. Am already grateful to the friends i'm making on here, it's great to have company for this exciting and scary journey.
Good luck to all xx


----------



## lulumead

Just popping on to say hello and welcome to all the new faces....lovely to see you on here and welcome to our ever expanding group of amazing women. Xx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi How lovely to see some newbies come on board - big welcome to Bristollas (congrats by the way if I read correctly), SingleM, bethy_17, Banana77, polita and Littlemsgrowingroots. Good luck on your journeys. Not sure if you will be interested but there is a mini meet up in Harpenden at Big Space http://www.bigspace.biz/ postcode AL5 1PW. A lot of us singles when we started this journey used to meet in central London but those of us who have been very lucky have had a couple of meet ups outside of central london due to logistics of public transport with a little one. Wanted to say would be lovely to meet any newbies on this journey who would like to meet others who have been on this journey before and would like some support and/or advice and meet others in person. It would be lovely to see you there.

Suitcase of dreams is also arranging a picnic in July in Guildford area.

/links

F


----------



## suitcase of dreams

welcome all   

good to have you here, do come and post on the different threads - loads of us here with plenty of experience to help you on your way

as fraggles mentioned, I'm hosting a picnic for us singlies in July in Guildford - you'd be most welcome - PM me if interested so I can add you to the email invite list   

best of luck on your journeys, 
Suitcase
x


----------



## GIAToo

hello to all the newbies!    Welcome.

As Fraggles has said the next meet up at Big Space is Friday 23rd March - we realise some people find it difficult to see people who already have babies, but it always inspired me and reminded me why I was doing what I was doing   

  to all and lots of luck! 
GIA Tooxx


----------



## LondonKat

Hello SingleM, bethy_17, Banana77, polita and Littlemsgrowingroots,

Would any one be interested in a meet up in central London? I'm also dealing with The London Women's Clinic! Im 36 and single and still in the "thinking" phase! ;-) Well I do know I want to be a mum but not sure if I should wait a bit more or just go for it! I believe it would be nice to meet in real life and share our experience and doubts. This can be such a lonely and scary process!! Please let me know!

X


----------



## Sarana37

Hi LondonKat - and other single newbies,


I'm London-based (near Hampstead) and open to meeting up in London. I'm beyond the thinking stage though, as you can see from my ticker below, I was successful and now have a 3 month old baby. Also - this was a result of the good treatment I received at LWC. 


So, if it's not off-putting to meet someone who already has a baby, then I'm happy to meet and share experiences, etc,


all the best,


Sarana


----------



## LondonKat

Hello Sarana,

Thank you for your lovely reply! It would be lovely to meet you and share your experience ...AND meet your lovely little boy!!! ;p I'm sure other newbies will be happy to join..I'm currently moving flat but could definitely meet for coffee once settled ( in 2 weeks times or so) I'm based not far from Hampstead!

Please do let me know when it would be convenient for you to meet.

Looking forward to hear from you,

Kat X


----------



## aimless1

Hello. I am not exactly new but have not posted for over a year. I am now 38 and nearer than ever to taking the plunge.  I have tortured myself with worries and thought through every eventuality and always been waiting for it all to become clear. I suppose I have only recently accepted that it is not all going to become clear but it might be clear enough. I was unlucky enough to lose a baby a few years ago - basically  i had to have a late termination due to medical problems my baby girl. It's taken me a long time to  be able to even slightly feel better and also to accept that it will never be something I get over. I waited to get stronger. Then I waited because I thought a relationship with a commitmentphobe would work out. Then I waited because I thought I should at least try and meet someone ( match.com disaster aplenty).  
Now all I know is I want to be a mother and that much as I am not where I thought I would be that's ok. 
I think I have also been a bit prompted by a friend of mine who met a man on the Internet and kind of settled for him, got pregnant after a few weeks (not best plan) and then found out they were not compatible at all. Anyway she now has a minefield to navigate with him and it has made me see I would far rather do it alone than with a man I was not sure about.  I just agreed to be my friends birthing partner too - I feel really positive and excited about that but I have to say it is all a bit odd. I have known that friend since we were 9 - I don 't think then we would have imagined life as it is.
So all a very long winded way of reintroducing myself.  I live in north west London so would also like to meet up and compare experiences, thoughts and fears.  I considered treatment in Denmark but now I wonder if I am just best to stick local and try LWC too.  My research starts again tomorrow.
Amy


----------



## suitcase of dreams

welcome back and good luck Amy


----------



## Fraggles

Amy good luck. How exciting to be birthing partner. Few of us I think would have imagined life this way.
xxx


----------



## indekiwi

Amy, welcome back hun.  So sad to read about your baby girl, no words can ease that terrible pain.    Good luck with your research - lots of info on FF and if you have specific queries, please ask away!


A-Mx


----------



## Guest

Good luck Amy


----------



## Diesy

Hello newbies I've missed    I was actually going somewhere else...when I ended up here.  

Then I read your post, Amy.  Welcome back    If it's any comfort I have travelled square root of not much even having been here.    You went through such a lot, good to have some time out.  Wishing you the best of luck!


----------



## ISABELLA STAR

Hi guys,

I am planing to do ivf on my own, ex partner said he could not handle it anymore and told me he needs to find a new woman...this will also be my fourth round.. just don't know where to start...

cheers


----------



## Fraggles

Hi IsabellaStar - not sure if you have read back any of the previous posts but there are some meet ups planned if you are able to/want to meet up with some people who have gone before you but if there are any specific questions you want help with post them and some one will be along to answer them. Hugs you find yourself in this position but there are lots of very supportive singles around for you. Congratulations for making the decision. xxx


----------



## LittleMsGrowingRoots

Hi Amy,
So sorry for your loss, but there will be a star up high, waiting to fall back down to earth to be with you soon.
I'm at LWC - and although on first 2WW after DIUI there - so don't know if it' worked yet!- I've been impressed with the clinic as a whole. They also do a buy 2 cycles (same with sperm) and get one free deal. I was a bit sceptical of this at first, as i though if i'm lucky enough for it to work first time, will i be annoyed i've paid double? But now i'm on the 2ww some of the stress is alleviated because i know i have those extra goes already paid for. The councelling session they give you as part of the package is really good too...
Anyway, good luck with all your research and look forward to hearinf the next update xx xx


----------



## nickymac

Hi Amy, really sorry to hear about your loss and it would seem we have shared a similar experience.  As I am new to this I thought I'd share my journey too. This time last year I was telling my mum she was going to be a grandma and then I had Florence in September but she died from a 1 in amillion chance disease in November. To say I was devastated is an understatement and I totally know how important it is to get your strength back emotionally and physically. Being a mum for such a short period of time was the best thing ever.  I too met a man off match.bloomin com (Florence's dad) and it was a nightmare; but I did get Florence.  
I made a decision quite quickly: I wanted another baby. I know it will take me time to meet the right man if ever but time to get pregnant was not on my side so in January I went to a clinic in Manchester.  I had my AMH test done and was gutted it came back so low. The nurse seemed not to give me much hope so I assumed I'd be looking at donor eggs and sperm.  All that has been driving me to get up is the hope I'll have another baby by which ever means.  During the hardest weeks I made myself get up, eat properly and exercise.  The acupunture has helped and I'm now back at work.  I've been so worried about everything but take each day as it comes.
I had a consultation last week and the consultant said that we could try IUI due to my recent pregnancy - I was surprised as the nurse had hinted I had no chance.  The statistics aren't high but everything is in my favour and at least I get to try with my eggs.  I have just started taking DHEA on top of chinese herbs, acupuncture, a good diet and exercise plus no stress from an unsuitable partner I'm giving it my best shot.  I know if I'm successful then doing it alone for awhile does not concern me at all. One day I'll find a suitable partner and father who deserves us! 
Best of luck with your journey.x

Diesy - sorry to hear about your situation too.  My boyfriend left me the day before my little girl was born.  It was a relief: I could concentrate on me and her which was all that mattered.  be strong.x


----------



## indekiwi

NickyMac, welcome to the singles boards - looking forward to supporting you as you go through tx.     


Would also like to say I'm so terribly sad to read about the passing of your little girl Florence.    No words can console in such a dreadful situation, but my heart goes out to you.  


Wishing you all the luck in the world going forward.  


A-Mx


----------



## greatgazza

Nickymac i'm so so sorry to hear of the terrible loss of your little one Florence.  As Inde says there are no words but it's bringing tears to my eyes to think of such a devastating situation and i admire your courage to keep going and keep getting out of bed, much lesser things have stopped me being able to carry on functioning.  

I so hope the way forward for you is much easier and you have some positive news very soon.

GGxx


----------



## GIAToo

Oh my goodness, feel very tearful at the recent stories of loss    Big hugs to Amy and nickymac.  I hope that the future brings you both much positivity and happiness.
And to ALL those who are still pursuing motherhood.  

        
GIA Tooxx


----------



## greatgazza

Amy, I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your little girl too.      As others have said i think few of us imagined this is how we would have ended up doing things but i am so often reminded of bad or unsuitable relationships and how we often have this fantasy that having a partner would be so lovely and make everything 'alright' but it is just that, a fantasy. So few of my friends are actually in happy healthy relationships sadly.  And i guess we have to thank god (well science) that we are actually able to do this without having to involve them.

Littlemiss and isabella star really good luck and lots of positive thoughts for you too   

GGx


----------



## Diesy

Nickymac, so very sorry to hear about your little girl Florence.  I'm sending you so many of these     . I'm glad you are trying again and wishing you so much luck. Don't worry about your AMH, who needs that when we are all rooting for you!

Many  Diesy xx


----------



## Glitterintheair

Hello to all you lovely ladies! Just sending out a Sunday night hug   xxxx


----------



## some1

Amy and Nickymac - so very sorry to read of your losses     
A big welcome to the other new ladies posting here, you will get lots of support and information here!
Some1
xx


----------



## caramac

Welcome to all the new posters...wishing you lots of luck on your journeys. Amy and Nickymac I'm so sorry to hear about the losses of your little girls. So so sad


----------



## nickymac

Thanks everyone, great to hear so many positive comments especially when all of you have had your fair share of challenges too.  It's good to be a part of something and I look forward to keeping in touch. x


----------



## lulumead

Hi all


Thought I would pop on and say hello. So so sorry to read of the loss of your daughters Amy and Nickymac, wish there was something to say that would make it all a bit better, so I will send some     and      for good news soon.  You are both amazing for continuing on this journey and we will all be here to cheer you along.  Welcome to the crew.    




Hello to all the other new posters and any lurkers/readers, come and join us.
xxx


----------



## nickymac

Inspirational - all of you .  Hope you feeling ok Indekiwi if I've read your info properly  you really have made it happen for yourself.  Giatoo and Greatgazza congratulations and thank you Diesy for such supportive comments; where are you at with things?  I saw you were seeing a consultant? Have i read it right? x Forgive me please if I miss things from not understanding the abbreviations and what they mean - thanks


----------



## greatgazza

nickymac i don't know if this is the same but Kazzie40 on here lost her little boy Joshua at 6 months from HLHS, not sure if that's the same as your LO but just thought if it was you might find it beneficial to know in case you wanted to talk to someone about it who had been through a similar situation. if you wanted to send her a PM (private message) just click on members at the top and 'search for members' and type in her user name.

a list of the abbreviations are here:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=

GGx


----------



## Elle72

Hi all, 
Fist post here!
I am single ( of course   )I am about to start my journey through IVF with a known donor!
I have also endometriosis stage 3 had many surgeries in the past...so here I am at 39 almost 40 with my heart and soul all ready for the rollercoaster.

I have considered also adoption but I though I would try first to have a child of my own, one step at a time, will think about everything that 
happens the moment it happens. 

So..hello to everyone here  

Elle


----------



## GIAToo

Welcome Elle!  Good luck with your first cycle.     There are lots of lovely women on here, some who have children and some who are pregnant and some who are going through treatment - and one or two who are looking at other options.  Have a good nosey 'round the threads and post wherever you want/ask whatever you want.  We're all friendly   
GIA Tooxx


----------



## some1

Welcome Elle, glad you have found us.  Good luck with your upcoming cycle, sending you lots of   !

Some1

xx


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Elle- good luck with your roller coaster journey.


----------



## aimless1

Hello again,
A belated thank you for all the welcome back messages and also welcome to Elle and nickymac.  Nickymac - thank you for your post about your Florence.  I am really sorry for your loss.  Life is so unfair sometimes.  It is great that we have both kept on going.  Feeling a bit low this weekend what with the whole mothers day thing.  But am off to see my gorgeous nieces tomorrow and they always make me smile - mad little girls that they are!
A x


----------



## Elle72

Thank you girls for all the welcome messages


----------



## nickymac

Welcome Elle, I'm quite new too so just wanted to say hi!  Thanks Greatgazza about the link I'll give it a try.  Anyone been on DHEA in this group?  I've been on it for 2 weeks now and waiting for the raging acne but so far so good.  Any other side effects/positives?
Amy got your PM, will be in touch just been mad busy. x


----------



## scaredrabbit

Hello,

I'm new on here after just receiving some devastating news this week. I'm 35 and single, and as I knew my mum went through a fairly early menopause (45) I thought I would be proactive and take the AMH test to see what my fertility levels were. The idea had still been to hopefully meet someone to have children with, but to freeze some eggs 'just in case' there were ever any problems. 

I got my results on Tuesday, and although I'd prepared myself for the fact I could be in decline, I was aghast to find out I am already classed as having 'negligible fertility' as my results were so low.It seems so weird as the previous tests showed I have a healthy womb and ovaries and I'm still having periods, but now the race is on to try and freeze eggs/embryos before I got through the menopause.

I know I'm going to press ahead with the IVF but I would rather have frozen eggs - that way if I do meet someone they could still have the chance to be involved. But I was told the success rates are better for embryos than eggs. Either way, it means that its unlikely I'm going to have the chance to be a mother, and it will also make it harder to meet someone if you can't give them children.

I'm sorry this is so blue. It's all very recent and my mind is still reeling..there seems to be lots of positivity on here which is good, and I just wanted to here from people who understand some of what I'm going through. Quite a few of my friends have successfully had IVF but they've gone through it with partners so someone to hold their hand. I feel like 2 doors have shut this week not just one. But I'd rather face the worst and then, if I can't have children, move forward and try and be happy in other ways. I probably need to hear from both sides as must be some people who try and it doesn't work for, but they still go on to have happy lives.

Best wishes and thanks for reading.
Scaredrabbit


----------



## agate

hi there: don't forget that there is always the option of donor eggs and whilst it might not seem something you like the sound of now, your feelings may change and the option will stay available for much longer than your own eggs - and remember that option would allow any future bloke you end up with to use his own sperm, and for you to carry the baby and share a huge epigenetic link with.

you might want to look at the poor responders bit of my immunes faq in case there is something you might want to try to improve your odds - for example, you might want to see if your gp can measure your dheas level in case its low and a dhea supplement might help

bear in mind that with low AMH its unusual to get a good response to the IVF stimulation medication so if you want to bank a number of eggs you might be looking at a several cycles of IVF so you might want to try and find a clinic who specialise in poor responders - in the UK, Lister and Create are often suggested - not sure how much egg banking they do though - but I'd investigate those clinics first if you have low AMH.


----------



## Tincancat

Frozen eggs can be successful. I have just had 2 embryos formed, and replaced, from eggs I had frozen 9 years ago.  Go for it


----------



## Rose39

Scaredrabbit - hello hun and sorry to learn of your news re: your low AMH - it must have come as such a shock. It's good to explore all the options - as Agate has said, there is the option of donor eggs in the future and whilst it might not be your first choice, it certainly isn't 2nd best and having moved myself from own eggs to donor eggs after several failed cycles of treatment and a miscarriage, I now have a beautiful daughter who is happy, contented and brings so much joy to everyone she meets and I feel incredibly lucky.

You're right that your chances are higher with frozen embryos than embryos made from frozen eggs. Some clinics have egg banks of frozen donor eggs and do have success, but frozen embryos are more robust and survive the freezing and thawing process better. I have experience of fresh embryos made from my own eggs and donor eggs, frozen embryos, and embryos made from frozen donor eggs and the quality of the embryos made for me from frozen donor eggs were not good, even though the donor was in her early twenties and healthy (and the fresh embryos she made for a couple were top quality). I'd suggest asking whichever clinic you're using for their live birth statistics (not just positive pregnancy test statistics) for frozen embryo transfer (FET) and for embryos made from frozen eggs and that would help you in your decision making.

Have you had any counselling to explore how you feel about the different options, and to help you come to terms with your news? Many clinics have a counsellor available (likely to be for a fee) and I had counselling when I was first contemplating having treatment as a single woman after my relationship failed, and found it to be very useful.

Good luck and do have an browse of all the areas of the singlies board (including the pregnancy and parenting board for single women - you'll see that there are lots of us who have used both egg and sperm donors or donor embryos and are enjoying being mummies to our precious babies).

Rose xx


----------



## indekiwi

ScaredRabbit, just a quick hello and to say, as Agate and Rose have said, that there are different options open to you with respect to the route to motherhood.  I turned to donor eggs when I proved to be a poor responder to meds and a subsequent AMH test showed an almost non existent ovarian reserve.  I am now a mum to 3 donor conceived children, including two using donor eggs.  I have no regrets.   


A-Mx


----------



## scaredrabbit

Thanks everyone I really appreciate the responses.  

A good friend of mine has a lovely little boy from a donor egg (following a diagnosis of ovarian cancer in her early 20s) so I definitely don't think of donor eggs as second best and would always consider that. Its just that the whole 'dream' of meeting someone and having a baby was so suddenly blown apart, to then learn I might not be able to have one at all. As I have to move fast I am now even wondering about not bothering with the the freezing part at all, and taking the plunge straight away with implantation. I wasn't planning to have a baby this year, but if those are my best odds... so now my head is all over the place thinking about money, job stuff etc! 

Incidentally, have any single ladies had any luck getting their treatment paid for via the NHS? It looks like a none runner for me, but I will still try to put up a fight.

Thanks again for listening.I've got lots of good support from friends and family, but no one who is in my shoes so to speak so good to hear from you all.


----------



## Tommi

Hi Scaredrabbit

Just wanted to say best of luck for whatever you decide. As far as I know there's no chance of treatment on the NHS (certainly not in my area). It is deeply discriminatory and could be challenged easily on many social, ethical and evidence-based levels, but it's better to put the time and energy into baby-making. The money you may save on eventually getting treatment paid for, once the PCT has dragged its heels for as long as possible, would have been spent on the appeal process. In my area I can't even get any basic gynae care on the NHS if it might aid fertility. Everything has to be paid for.  

What we really need is for those who are not directly affected by it to take up the cause so that women who come after us don't face this discrimination. Anyone out there reading this??! I suspect, though, that with the privatisation of the NHS no-one will get treatment paid for. At least that will be fairer, but not necessarily just in a civilised society when you consider what does get treated no question...

Good luck!

Txx


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hello Scaredrabbit,

Having tried IVF three times on my fourth go I used donor eggs and I now have a wonderful little boy who is 10 weeks old.. He is the finest little boy ever and I can truly say everyone says he looks like me and I certainly could not love him any less.  I absolutely am besotted by him and whilst reluctant initially to use donor eggs as naturally a woman wants to use their own eggs, because of my age 47, I used donor eggs and I am so grateful that I did!  Choose a girl who has had a previous pregnancy and who is as young as possible that would be my advice, the younger the better without any complications on her part to give yourself the best chance.  Also, if you are CMV negative, DEFINITELY use a donor who is also CMV negative.  I believe this is important as there is a tiny weeny chance of something nasty.

Good luck - go for it is the finest thing you will ever do! 

Gilian xx


----------



## lulumead

Hello Scaredrabbit,


Just wanting to send some    . You are having to process a lot of information and deal with a rapidly changing future, its hard.  Please don't feel pressured into having to do it straight away, if you are comfortable with the idea of using donor eggs then there is more time for you to think about what's best.  It seems to me that the hardest part from what you are saying is the idea that even if you met someone tomorrow you would probably still be going down the fertility route and possibly having to use donor eggs anyway.  Do you feel at the moment that you would rather get going with TTC as a single mum or try to spend more time (you could always put a deadline on it) trying to meet someone and then confront whatever the issues might be then?


I think everyone on here would say if you are ready to go it alone then do it, no one has regretted it even if its been hard and you can of course meet someone once you have already got a baby.  It is really really tough giving up on Plan A, i.e. partner and children and it takes time to come to terms with it.  But we are all here to listen as you work through it...just listen to your heart and take some deep breathes.  35 is young in terms of using donor eggs and you could spend a couple more years on the search for a nice man, I know they are out there.  And of course if you want to try with your own eggs, maybe you will need to decide that sooner rather than later but even then there are clinics which specialise in low AMH and more natural IVF which can work better with lower AMH.


Sending big    at a tough time.


Lx


----------



## Elle72

Hello Scaredrabbit and welcome!
I am quite new as well, but older than you turning 40 in 2 months  from my experience a regret a bit not have some frozen eggs in storage, but if I think of myself 10 years ago with full endometriosis on board, so painful, well I guess I did not think of causing myself more pain. Like you after my relationship has failed I thought I was still in time to meet someone and eventually be lucky starting a family. Well I did not meet anyone, and probably was too anxious about the whole thing. I agree with the suggestion of having some counselling and also why don't you go to the LWC inseminar for singlies 28 april? I am going just to know all the options out there and to listen some other clinics, even if I am already scheduled for IVF somewhere else I like to be informed, because it helps me clear my mind and decide what I want most.
I find this website a place where I feel understood, and it is amazing on how we women help each other so much by sharing all the experience and informations.
Things I did not even consider like egg donation after really a couple of weeks now seem pretty amazing to me, to have that chance ( and infact I also wrote to Serum in greece!!)
Hope you can find your way, after the intial confusion and shock.

Let us know how you are coping
Xxx


----------



## weeble101

Hi all - do you mind if I join you?
Feeling pretty crazy still right now (have been a single for almost a week now), but with my most recent amh result don't feel I have time to sit and digest everything before jumping (ok, I know I may be able to try deivf someday, but I do want one more try with oe first!).
Luckily when I called my clinic they said they were completely happy to treat singles too - but goodness, so much to relearn!
No doubt about it though - FF is amazing. I hadn't seen this thread before and then - you wonder - and like a little magical door it appears just when you need to find a whole new direction.
So - can't wait to get to know you all.  
Sorry not to do more personals, but hi to you scaredrabbit - I know exactly what you mean about the race being on! suddenly a whole new world has appeared and I just wish I could calm my thoughts down enough to process everything properly!
I am definitely hoping to go to that seminar at the LWC  -maybe see some of you there??


----------



## morrigan

Hi scaredrabbit - good luck with your descion making.

Welcome weeble - sorry to hear your now single - had you a cycle planned ? I love your user name just remember weebles wobble but they don't fall down !! Great moto for fertility tx.


----------



## indekiwi

Weeble,   


Welcome to the Singles board - we might have been hidden to you before now, but trust me, there are a lot of us posting on both sides of the board (TTC and Bumps / Babies)!


A-Mx


----------



## Summer-Amelie

Hi all

I'm about to start treatment next month, all very quick, been thinking about it for years but massive life event has given me the impoteous to just do it...

Am 35, single and very scared!!! 

S-A


----------



## weeble101

Hi Morrigan, hi again Indekiwi and Summer Amelie  
Yes, we had a cycle planned for now actually, but then getting my lap booked in (luckily!) made me postpone. Dp was away in Canada at the time and with the odd attitude I was getting from him, I would definitely not have coped if I'd been injecting at the time. I was bad enough as it was but shudder to think what might have happened really!
So, have an appointment back with clinic as a singlie in 2 weeks. Right now I am kind of exploring my thoughts and feelings and trying to learn as much as i can about every possible option!
Great to know you are all here though!!


----------



## some1

Welcome scaredrabbit, summer-amelie and weeble - glad that you have found us     


Some1

xx


----------



## ltljen

Hi everyone,


My name's Jen and I was briefly a member on her about 4 years ago when trying to conceive my gorgeous son Robin.  However, at the time I had major problems chatting to people over the internet and left because I felt rather uncomfortable.  I don't have these problems anymore, not really sure why I had them in the first place to be honest.
Anyway, I am currently trying to conceive baby no. 2 using the same donor as last time.  I foolishly thought it would be very quick this time and it's going slow - I'm not actually convinced I'm ovulating at the moment after coming off Cerazette (my periods are usually horrendous so I was taking it to stop them) in November.
I've just started charting again and I'm hoping for some support and to be able to give some support to others.




Jen


----------



## Tommi

Hi and welcome to Jen, Weeble, SummerAmelie and ScaredRabbit!   And anyone else I've missed!
It's great to see so many people joining us  
Fingers crossed for lots of good news for us all!
Txx


----------



## squiggleyhead

Hi all, 

Pleased to meet you all and am I pleased to have found this site, I am not alone!

My head is pretty messy at the moment, I am rapidly approaching 40 although in my head I feel about 30! I have never been pregnant unfortunately despite wanting a baby for years and years. I have PCOS and subsequently have horrendous periods, having lost bf's and almost my job over the PMT, I have been really nervous about coming completely off Yasmin. However last time I did I do seem to have regular periods, though terrible ones!  
The time has now come though to accept the fact that am single and have no choice but to do this on my own. I have been looking into sperm donors and it all seems quite straightforward (though expensive!) and have even looked at donors through non clinics but that isn't for me. Reading this site everyone seems very relaxed about SD but I am really struggling with the concept, the failure that I have to resort to this method. I am messy headed on so many levels, did or does anyone feel the same?


----------



## aimless1

Hello Squigglyhead
I feel othe same.  I have struggled for a couple of years to come to terms with trying for a baby on my own.  I have finally gone ahead and reserved sperm etc and I know that I need to do this but that doesn't stop me feeling panicky, alone, scared, frightened, angry.  The whole works really.  This site really helps me.  I don't post loads but I get lots of comfort from reading about other peoples' strength and courage.
Amy x


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## indekiwi

Gosh, so many newbies lately - yay!    


Welcome to Summer-Amelie, LtlJen and Squiggleyhead.  I hope you all find lots of information and support on the singles board.  


Squiggleyhead, I'm sure a number of the women posting on the single board might identify with feelings of failure as they come to terms with using donors to create their families.    For me, I always saw donor conception as an alternative, and not a second best, option.  I also know so many people in wrecked relationships who are too resigned to their fate or frightened to risk otherwise comfortable lives to leave and start life again - that's what I personally see as failure.  Like beauty, it's in the eyes of the beholder I guess.  All I can say is that with three kids all conceived with the help of donors, I would not turn back the clock and change my reality.    


As for fear, anger, panic - if you have a free Sunday at some stage, read back on some of the threads, and the newbie threads in particular - you will see women expressing the same emotions again and again and again as they work through the start of their journey to using donor conception to have their families.  You are not alone.      


Jen, good luck with no. 2 - there is a thread on the bumps and babes side of the singles board which is specifically for women considering adding to their existing families - there are quite a few of us now.   


A-Mx


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## LittleMsGrowingRoots

Hi newbies!
Rest assured all your feelings are completely normal! I went through all of that and other feelings too! All I can tell you that now my dream of being a mummy is nearer (9 weeks pregnant after IUI with donor sperm at LWC) all of it is worth it! And i imagine gives you ggod practise for all the emotions you will go through as a parent!! The thing that made it easy for me was a friend who, while I was a complete mass of panic, over analysing, worry, etc, simply said - "Do you want to me a mummy or not?" The answer was obvious to me, and here I am 4 months later pregnant. I have been extremely lucky on my journey, and there are amazing women on here who will give ou fabulous support! So don't worry, let your dreams happen! xx


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## aimless1

Thanks for that Little Ms. keeps it it perspective. I'm going to have that as a mantra.  Got my appointment at LWC next Thursday. Hope I am lucky too. Amy x


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## LittleMsGrowingRoots

Aim high Aimless!! You'll be up the duff before you know it! Make an appt for your GP too, there is a wealth of tests you need to complete before being able to start treatment - I got all of mine (except AMH, £70 at LWC, can be done on day of your appt) done for free on NHS which saved me almost £500!
First appt can be overwhelming so don't be afraid to ask questions and take your time! Even though it worked first time for me, I still don't regret buying the 3 for 2 package! During the 2WW it was good to know that if it didn't work that I had another 2 gos already paid for. Even at 9 weeks pregnant it's still a consolation and has been worth the extra cash to take some of the pressure off!
Good luck - let us know how it goes!! xx


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## LittleMsGrowingRoots

p.s I'm 38 too - must be a lucky age! Ask me any other questions anytime! x


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## aimless1

Thanks for the reminder about tests!!  I had them all done 2 years ago but presume I will need to repeat ( despite the fact I have been utterly nun-like for the past 2 years).  I had a consultation at LWC 2 years ago but my head was such a mess at the time I don't remember anything about it - so now here I am again but feeling much stronger.  I have been looking at all the threads and writing down questions to ask on thursday.  I think I will go for the 3 for 2 package too.  Anyway will update on how I get on. I don't know how I will concentrate at work this coming week!!  Amy xx


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## lulumead

Hello everyone new posting and those reading    Welcome to this lovely group.  


Just to add...everything you feel is probably true for someone posting on here so you are definitely not alone    Its hard making the decision and accepting things might not be as you imagined but you are being brave going for what you want and I am sure you wont regret it.  


Look forward to hearing more from you all,


xxx


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## Elle72

I will go to the seminar!! PM me if you would like to meet


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## suitcase of dreams

hello and welcome A.N.

Sept is not an impossible deadline depending on how things go with your tests/clinic etc. if you are planning IUI with donor sperm then you could prob have a few attempts before Sept and hopefully you would be lucky enough to get pregnant. similarly you could fit in at least 1 IVF before then so if you were 1st time lucky you'd be pregnant by sept
you have age on your side assuming you have no other fertility issues so that's good

let us know if there's anything specific we can help with - lots of us here with lots of different experiences and advice   
Suitcase
x


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## morrigan

welcome an- i hope we can all support you so just shout or post when you need answers. septembers perfectly possible depending on what clinic you use but i would say dont set yourself up to have a big deadline as you will add pressure to yourself these things can sometimes take a few goes yet others work first time. sorry to here youve been having a nightmare- heres to s smoother ride


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## squiggleyhead

Hi all, 

I just wanted to send a note to say thank you for all your posts, they help sooo much!

I have now spent what feels like days researchng on line and have a bit of a plan in place....

I had all my levels done a 2 years ago FSH 6.9 LH 6.79 and AMH 3.6  but have PCOS so they are not really relevant anyway, my doctor after some persuading has now referred me to for more tests and a scan woop!  
The DS thing fills me with dread but some of the posts on here have been great!  and ultimately it's just a means to an end, one post said 'so do you want to be a mum or not?' for me this is a no brainer I've waited enough for things to happen naturally but that isn't to be.....

I have booked myself in at LWC for a seminar and now researching clinics, I live in the Midlands but London isn't too bad to get to - does anyone know of any sites that have clinic reviews at all?  the cost of all this is hefty so want to make sure I am chosing the right one - all considering abroad...


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## suitcase of dreams

good to hear you have a plan squiggleyhead   
there are clinic reviews on FF - have a search around...HFEA site also has full details and stats for UK clinics which you might find useful

welcome abacusnexus - there are lots of single women here who can help I'm sure    you do tend to get more responses if you ask specific questions so let us know what we can help you with and I'm sure you'll get plenty of replies. whereabouts are you in the process? just thinking? already got a clinic lined up? the more we know about your situation, the more relevant help we can give you

Suitcase
x


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## jodieirish

Hi Im new to this. Im single. 38 yrs and having IVf/ICSI DE & DS first time in july in Procreatec in madrid. Can i be added to this?? it would be really great to chat to people on here who are going throught the same experiences.

jo


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## Rose39

Welcome Squiggleyhead, Abacusnexus and Jodieirish! Do have a browse around the different discussion threads on here - there are threads for those doing IUI, IVF/ISCI and treatment with both DE/DS, so we have most of the options covered! As Suity already posted, if you have any specific questions then just ask and someone will be along to help you.
Squiggleyhead - if you're in the Midlands, then Nottingham Care gets very good reviews and treats single women - it's at the forefront of research into improving IVF success rates (e.g. Chromosomal testing). I'm not sure if it has its own sperm bank but then many women import UK compliant vials from e.g. Xytex, Cryos or the European Sperm Bank so this isn't an issue. There are a couple of single ladies who have had treatment there who'd be able to give more information. Also, most of the major clinics have their own threads on this site (if you use the Search facility at the top of the page then the threads will come up, or look at the UK Regions section of the site). Good luck!
Rose xx
Forgot to say that we have a singlies chat evening every Thursday starting at 7.30pm (click into the chat facility at the top of the page and then into the single ladies room). Please do join us - it's a quick way to get questions answered and a way to "meet" others who have gone through/ are going through treatment.


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## morrigan

welcome all. You might find the ivf thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=276408.390 useful.

A.N have you found the book mark function - if you book mark threads with add bookmark button youve posted in you can click on your bookmarks to bring up all the board youve bookmarked and you will be able to see if there are replies- its useful once you start posting on a few different threads


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## nickymac

Hi, I've not been on for a while having returned back to work after losing Florence and it's great seeing new stories all of us the same. There has been some really common threads especially shifting expectations around going it alone and being nervous about that prospect. Before I had Florence I thought the same but having nursed her and dealing with all the hospital I am convinced that being single and a mum is hard but totally manageable.
Time is the problem and so I dont believe that we'll be single forever if a partner is what you want and we get to choose the right father to fit into what will hopefully be our new families.
Planning ahead has been useful and not losing sight of that.  I've been planning since January, exploring every avenue, gtting all the tests done and having a plan B (egg donation/adoption) if it doesn't work.  I've got my finances in order too and now I'm waiting for my smiley face this week so I can have my first DIUI! 
SCARY!!!
Reading Zita West's book on Assisted Fertility helped me see the reality of the journey although I have taken some of it with a pinch of salt!

I'm a bit nervous and getting a little stressed about it all if I'm honest and think the DHEA is making me more emotional.  It's hard moving away from Florence too but think I've just got to get through this cycle and see where it takes me.
Good luck everyone and congratulations Indekiwi so lovely to see your latest addition.  x


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## indekiwi

Thanks Nicky - I'm a bit besotted with her at present.  Good luck for your first DIUI!!!  Have you seen the IUI thread further down the board?


AN, hi there and hope you have now seen all the responses to your two posts further down the page.   


A-Mx


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## aimless1

Hi Abacus. Sorry you are finding it difficult to get started. Your message is up so there will be support for any queries you have and lots of people feeling similar to you. I read you post about 'single mother by choice' and do know what you mean. I have spent ages fuming that its not really ' by choice' but more by way of making the best out of a hand of cards you didn't ask for. X


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## Rose39

Hi Abacusnexus - if you page up this thread you'll see that there were several responses to your post, and offers of help, but the more specific you can be in the queries that you have, the more you can be helped. What stage are you at? Thinking of have treatment and looking for info/ clinics? Considering moving forward with IVF or IUI or freezing your eggs? Looking at selecting your donor?
Sorry that you're finding this difficult - there is also a live chat for singlies on Thursdays at 7.30pm - just click on the chat room link at the top of this page at that time, and into the single ladies room - and several of the single ladies can answer your queries in real time, if that helps.
Rose xx


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## Betty-Boo

Abacusnexus welcome to the singlies boards - one thing I would say that its all very well setting targets like being pregnant by September - but life has this habit of chucking us fastballs - hope it does work out for you though.     I remember saying exactly the same to a friend when I first embarked on this journey back in 2006 - and here I am today - still trying.

Sometimes this journey is hard enough without added pressure  

Tis


----------



## greatgazza

Hi abacus, hope you're finding your way round.

Here's a link to the pcos thread to take a look at if you haven't managed to find it already.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=13.0

GGx


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## squiggleyhead

Hi there, 

I just wanted to say that I also have PCOS abacusnexus but i got my eggs frozen with MFS, the good thing about PCOS is that you produce LOADS of eggs in one go I had 27 removed and 24 frozen, it cost about £4k but that was because I had to have extra drugs for the down 'time' sorry struggling with terminology here.

I have never been pregnant :-(   and periods have been so far and few between but bizzarly as I am gtting older they are becomig more frequent!  I had my blood tests back today from my GP and all looks good and go for a scan Friday. I have booked  a seminar wih LWC to get me moving, then it's just down to finding a donor and clinic neither of which are easy to decide!  

Love this site it keeps me motivated and stops me just giving up on everything!


----------



## squiggleyhead

Hi again, glad you found my post useful  

LWC is London Womens clinic, they offer free seminars so I thought I could go along, this whole process is expensive so I want to make sure I get some research in. MFS - they were great when I froze my eggs as my hormones are a bit mental I was in having scans every other day so was very well looked after but on researching the sperm donor thing the cost seems astronomical!  I already have blood tests and scans and I already have Clomid from the NHS but they say they would like me to go through them for the above which hs put me off a bit - shame as they are about 6 miles form my house.....still deciding....
As for targets, I read your post and got what you meant straight away, I seem to be avoiding the cold hard 'biological clock' truth and messing about with other stuff in my life. So yeah a target is good! but don't pin everything on that date imo


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## Rose39

Abacusnexus - it is much cheaper if you go abroad... if you post on the IUI thread then there are several ladies who have gone overseas who would be able to advise you. Yes the costs are very high for fertility treatment as a single woman - most of us have used up our savings/ taken out bank loans/ borrowed money from family to do this. 
Rose xx


----------



## greatgazza

abacus just be aware that if you want to go to Cz it's illegal for them to treat single women so message one of us for more info if you need it.

GGx


----------



## squiggleyhead

Hi everyine, does anyone know where there is a list of abbreviations on this site, i am really struggling to translate!


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## greatgazza

squiggly head it's all in here, just scroll down a bit. yes, they take a bit of getting used to!!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.0

GGx


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## Bethany915

*Abacus * - Just reading back and I think (although I could be wrong) that you were talking about MFC (Manchester Fertility Clinic) whereas I think Squiggleyhead was talking about MFS (Midland Fertility Services).

Also - I really know nothing about PCOS but I remember when I was trying IUI back in 2010 that there was an FFer on the IUI thread (Venus in Furs) who had PCOS and she got pregnant (with twins, if I remember) on her 2nd or 3rd try with IUI. IUI is much cheaper than IVF - I paid £700 a cycle at my local UK clinic (admittedly that was natural cycle, so it would be a bit more costly if you need drugs) - but anyway, might be worth considering / researching if you could have IUI as a first step...

Good luck, whatever you decide!

B xx


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hi all
New to this thread and do hope that I am in the right place! I am a single woman aged 38, I am planned to have DE and Donor sperm on the 20th of August. I suppose its all very scarey and I dont really know what I am doing, I have booked flights and accommodation and I have a list of the medication, I have paid the deposit and I have my treatment scheduled but am very scared, anyone else had this treatment or been to this clinic any support will be very appreciated!

M x

Edited to remove the name of the clinic. Sharry xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Hello and welcome Marie   

yes, I had double donor tx at the same clinic as you, as did quite a few of us singlies
Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions
the clinic is very good and getting around is easy. I know it feels very daunting now but it will all be fine I'm sure
best of luck   
Suitcase
x


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## greatgazza

Hi Marie

Was just going to say the same as suity, i went there too.

Hopefully you have found the boards relating to others having tx there?  It's possible someone has PM'd you but while you're posting on those threads it might be an idea to 'amend' your signature slightly IYKWIM... if you read back a few posts you'll see the advice i gave abacus.

GGx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

marie - think Sharry cc'd me on a message to you  but I can't access it
if you want to chat, please send me a PM direct   
Suitcase
x


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Marie - ghost luck with your treatment - Have you managed to source chemist to sort your pescription ?

Keep us updated so we can support - hope to see you on 2ww board soon.


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Thank you all for making me feel very welcome here, I am very excited about my tx I just hope it works, had a lot of time to get used to double donation and I am really now. I havent sourced a pharmacy yet so any hints or advice etc would be most welcome do feel very out of my depth,

suitcase thanks for the message I will pm you as you are where I want to be 

Mx


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## no blue skies

Hi

Feeling a bit nervous posting here.  I've been seriously considering donor insemination for a few months now - and have just had consultation at the LWC.  The dr there said that I have 2 options as a first step - either natural IUI cycle or stimulated IUI cycles.  I'm now trying to decide what the best way forward is - I'm 39 and apparently FSH levels look good and ovaries are "young for my age" (glad some part of me is).  

I have all sorts of questions.  I'm leaning towards using a donor clinic in US or Europe as there is more information / photos of the donors.  Does any one have any experience on this?  I guess it sounds superficial, but I'd like to know what the donor looks like!  

Thanks, 

E


----------



## squiggleyhead

Hi ESF, 

I am in EXACTLY the same positionas you being 39 and considering donor insemination for ages now. I have done loads of research both on these boards and on line, the Cryo clinic in Denmark has donors with quite extensive profiles you can view...google it. I am also looking at a clinic in Brno.


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## GIAToo

esf - I used Xytex in the US and most of the donors have a picture of them as a child and some have a pic of them as an adult too.  I think Cryobank in the US is the same, but others could tell you more.  Good luck   
Hello and good luck to all the other newbies!   
GIA Tooxx


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

HI squigglyhead

I am having double donation as although I look young for my age my ovaries are apparently that of a 45 year old (always nice to hear I can tell you).  Just to let you know that the clinic you are considering no longer allowed you to get DS sent from an outside agency, something to do with their laws changing so you have to use their DS, they send you a list and you chose one (apparently) not got that far yet, butfrom what I can gather you dont get a lot of info on the donor and certainly no pictures or identification so may be worth checking with your clinics if ID is imp to you!

M x


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## squiggleyhead

Hey M, 

Thanks for that!

I just assumed you could send DS there! a shame as my friend lives in Brno so at least I wouldn't have felt alone being there, never mind back to the drawing board and reseach, I'll go on one of the other boards and ask advice.

Good luck with it all.....interesting to see how you get on  
x


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## morrigan

Marie i used 

Rigcharm Pharmacy
93 Watney Street, Shadwell, London E1 2QE
020 7790 9150 ‎ 

They will except european pescriptions especially from the CZ repbublic which not many do as chemist has to be able to check drs registration and thats a pain wiht cz as theres more than one registring body over there. Feel free to pm if you need any other info.

Esf- wecome- i started off with natural iui- on reflection i wish id moved to medicated sooner as then i would of known earlier that i had fertility problems.My advice is to take it one step at time and before you know it you will of made loads of descions and be and expert on your tx !


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## everhopeful1234

Hi Marie

I used DE and DS and went to Xytex.  I liked them as you see a photo of the donor now and through his childhood, also a maternal and paternal history from wey back plus he writes quite a detailed summary about himself, interests, why he is doing this, allergies and much more.  The donor has to be UK identified but I thought it was a brilliant site

Good luck x  Took me 4 goes but so worth it in the end!!


----------



## LittleMsGrowingRoots

Hi there, I recently had successful iui at LWC and although you can use their adjoined sperm bank (which i did, as i found a donor i liked and didn't feel the need to see his face) they said i could also use xytex and another european bank the name of which i've forgotten. As for natural v stimulated - I was lucky and amh levels were fine so i decided to go for the 3 cycle package and try natural first, knowing i could 'upgrade' to stimulated for try 2 or 3 if i wanted to. I was extremely lucky and it worked first time. You can call the nurses there anytime, so perhaps ring them and ask about your donor options. Whatever you decide - good luck!!!!


----------



## Sandyc

Hi everyone, my names sandy, im 42 & stsrting full ivf as a singleton at the start of july. Feel really scared bt know ow much i want a baby & cnt wait for mr right any longer! Look forward to chatting soon & sharing our stories plus supportin each other. Take care, love sandy xxx


----------



## GIAToo

Hi Sandy,

Welcome to the Singles boards.  You'll find everyone here very knowledgeable and friendly so ask away on any of the threads if you have a question or are just feeling a bit up/down, whatever your mood.  Good luck for your IVF     - which clinic are you at?

GIA Tooxx


----------



## Tommi

Hi Sandy  

Welcome! I'm also 42 and starting IVF end June/July so we can keep each other positive!

    

Txx


----------



## squiggleyhead

Hi both, I'm 39 and was going to do iui but Birmingham women's clinic have advised I go for Ivf.  Good luck all
X


----------



## Sandyc

Hi all, thanks for yr replies & support, im being treatd by mr nardo at gyne health clinic manchester. Does anyone av experience of self injecting hormone drugs & the side effects i cud expect? Xx


----------



## agate

sandyc: you'll find that most ladies who do IVF self-inject.  once you've done a week of it, you'll be like a pro. some do get side effects - mainly from the down reg drugs (the ones that switch your own hormones off) rather than the hormone jabs - but most of us don't get many side effects - apart from bloating towards the later bits of ivf.


----------



## indekiwi

Agate!  Do my eyes deceive me?  Is that, in fact, a BFP I'm seeing in your signature!  Good lordy woman, many congratulations!!!!!  Have my fingers crossed that everything goes well for you now.  Someone that helps so many other people should surely be due more than a little luck.


A-Mx


----------



## agate

thank you sweetie!

everything ok so far - fingers crossed - feeling happily nauseous.

hoping my bb will have a bro or sis in Jan.


----------



## Betty-Boo

I spotted that sneaky ticker too Inde - wonderful news honey - am some chuffed for you Agate!  Made my day seeing your ticker!


   Tis xx


----------



## agate

thanks!

a x


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hey all

Feeling very low at the moment, my twin sister has just announced her second pregnancy!  I am pleased for her but it makes me so sad as I am on my own after my husband left me a year ago as he couldnt deal with my infertility! I am trying to be positive but just feel so alone and like life is just so unfair!!!! sorry for the negative message


----------



## agate

well... its a bit pants being on your own, but its 100% rubbish being with a spineless bloke.

when you do have your lovely DE baby, at least you won't risk divorce where you end up having to fight to keep your LO, or where you have to endure years of uncomfortable visits to your LO from a hopeless, loser ex - or worse where you are worried for your LO's safety.

I think maybe its painful losing your ex - but its way better that its this way than your new baby being brought up in a stressful home.

is it true that most marriages end in divorce anyway?  better that everything is sorted before you get pg in my book.

hope you are ok.

a x


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hey A

Yeah you have a point, I was totally in love with my ex though and didnt see him leaving coming at all it was a total curveball, it devestated me but you cant make someone stay with you if they dont want to! Now got to deal with my twins second pregnancy which is going to be so hard! Thanks for the kind words and congrats on your news x

M x


----------



## squiggleyhead

Hey M, 

I had the same deal and was strung alongbforvyears, the years ive crying over it and with 18months he was married again with a baby.  

However I'm now ok angry with myself I wasted so much time on him.

Just think now you're in control if your own life and in reality how would he have coped with crying in the middle if the night and dirty nappies if he couldn't cope with your fertility? 

L
X


----------



## morrigan

Just popping on to spread a little   looks like you might need some.

Dont be angry about time- believe me the experience will of made you a better person more independant and those skills will make you a better mother- things happen for a reason but it only feels like that in the future if you get what i mean.


Agate- seeing your ticker gave me a great big smile- great news


----------



## greatgazza

Yep I waited around far too long and stayed with unsuitable wastes of space etc but now, apart from a lonely day every now and then I don't really miss having a partner all that much and actually really like the fact that I don't have anyone to argue with about every little thing to do with the baby and how we bring it up/feed it/parenting styles/routines/naps you name it i'm sure we'd argue about it.  and the times i do get lonely what i actually want is just someone else around to bounce things off, ask advice, help me carry something heavy etc so it's mainly just another pair of hands i want so i make sure i ask friends or someone for help.  and i actually feel relieved that i haven't got a partner to split up from at some point that will totally traumatise the child.... what a sorry state of affairs that is  

Agate I saw your ticker a little while ago but wasn't totally sure so didn't say anything.  HUGE congratulations, so happy for you!!

GGx


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hi Squigglyhead,  yep my ex now has a girlfriend who is in her early 20s so I guess he is ensuring he doesnt have to go through the infertility treadmill again!  Men do move on very quickly I think its us girls who carry the hurt and pain around with us for such a long time, thanks for the fairy dust Morrigan I really do need a pick up and greatgazza thanks for the message, although my twin sister is having her second baby I know that her relationship with her partner is pretty pants!  He drinks heavily and has 2 other children from a previous marriage which causes a lot of issues!

I think that my sister getting pregnant again has just brought up a lot of pain and has made me miss Tom massively.  I feel very depressed at the moment and I am really worried that my low emotional state is going to effect my tx in August, this news couldnt have come at a worse time!  Does anyone else struggle with siblings and their children.  I know many of you have your own children now but before you had your own?  I find it so hard I just dont know how to make myself feel better about all this  xx  

M x


----------



## morrigan

Marie can't answer you on the sibling front as my brother is also single ( and wants children )- I'm sure it's tough as I found it tough with friends so I can only imagine  - but please don't worry about stress effecting tx - I know it's best to be relaxed but if you worry about trying to be relaxed it will be something else to worry about - plenty of babies are conceived under stress- I couldn't of been more stressed on my successful cycle - treated myself to an ivf massage though ! Maybe you need to do something kind for yourself.

You will find coping strategies as you go along in the mean time vent on here xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

marie -   
my (younger) sister has 3 children, 2 of whom were conceived/born whilst I was ttc. It was when she had her first (I was mid 30s) that I realised how much I wanted a family too, although it took me a further couple of years to actually decide to go ahead on my own. The day I told her I was going to try, she told me (poor thing, she was so upset but knew she had to) that she was expecting her 2nd. And as I said, she then went on to have her 3rd in the 3+ yrs it took me to finally get pregnant myself
it was hard, but what I found hardest was the pregnancy part, once the baby arrived I was fine
I threw myself into spending time with my nieces/nephew (which was all great practice for having my own!) and genuinely loved being with them
I did usually shed a tear or two on the way home from visiting them - it felt like they were the perfect family and I was so far from having my own family. And it was partic hard around my miscarriage and BFNs...but at those times I just stayed away for a little while and I know my sister understood...

it's very tough - most of my good friends had children (1st, 2nd, 3rd, and even 4th in one case) whilst I was ttc and at times I felt I was surrounded by pregnant women/breastfeeding mothers and it felt like a club I was never going to be able to join

hang on in there, wishing you the very best for your next cycle

and    to all those struggling right now
Suitcase
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

PS agate - congratulations! wonderful news


----------



## everhopeful1234

Congratulations Agate!  I don't know you but am thrilled for you

Gillian x


----------



## Bubbachops

Hi Everyone,

Im a newbie. Single, 35 and after many years of thinking about the possibility of going down the route of going it alone to be a mummy have finally decided to take the plunge! Got my first consultation this week - excited mainly but also anxious and worried about the hundreds of questions I've got swimming around in my head! 
I've been addicted to this forum, reading as much as I can - it's such a support already and has answered so many of my questions. So I thought it was time that I put a post on here and said hello   
Any advice on questions to ask at my first consultation would be much appreciated x


----------



## Aitken78

Hi,  I am very new to this!!  I have joined FF as I have just started considering having IUI OR IVF in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a mother.  I am 34 and sadly still single and although I'd like to think Mr Right is somewhere out there my desire to become a mother is now much stronger then my need for a man!  I don't want to arrive at old age and have missed out on my chance.  I'd love to hear from anyone in the same position or who can point me in the right direction of how to start my journey.  I live in Norfolk so if any one lives near by I'd especially like to hear from you.


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Bubbachops and Aitken how exciting to see all these newbies. Welcome and congratulations for starting the journey. wishing you both loadsa luck. x


----------



## Tommi

Hi Newbies! So, so lovely to see you all here. Wishing you lots of luck and resilience on this journey  

Txx


----------



## greatgazza

Welcome bubbachops and aitken, you're in the right place!

bubbachops if you tell us a bit more about what tx you're going to have we should be able to help a bit more with possible Qs for your consult.  are you having IUI or IVF? which clinic? do you have any known issues e.g. pcos, fibroids, history of mc, endo etc? 

GGx


----------



## aimless1

Wow lots more new people! Welcome! I have been away for a while trying to get my head straight having decided to have iui and then in a very late change of plan switching to a known donor. It was a tough decision as in many ways I think anonymous donation is a much 'cleaner' arrangement. My arrangements now involve facilitated counselling to make sure we are agreed on how it all works.  It feels very complicated...... And my parents are horrified ( having been fine with the anonymous route) so there has been stress and anxiety galore.  Having said that we have tried one home insemination (syringe method) so I suppose technically I should be on the 2ww wait thread.......


----------



## Bubbachops

Hello,
Thanks for the friendly welcome everyone!
GG, I'm looking at having treatment at LWC and I'm not sure whether it will be iui or ivf. I was diagnosed with endo a few years ago and had laser treatment but the doctor who did the op said that it shouldn't affect my fertility - in that it wasnt too severe and that all my bits looked like they were in good working order   Obviously I realise that it would be better if I didn't have endo but my symptoms have been much better since my op so I'm hoping that it hasn't got any worse since. I suppose I'm hoping to go down the iui route as it's a lot less invasive, less expensive etc. But the down side is that the success rates seem much lower with it than ivf. I guess I'm going to be guided by what they say at my consultation. Any advice?
A couple of questions that you girls might be able to answer for me are 
- What tests need to be done before starting treatment and if I have them done at the clinic then how quickly after my consultation will I be able to start treatment 
- How did you cope with getting time off work? I don't really want to tell anyone at work but know it's going to be really difficult explaining why I keep needing time off at the last minute. Or were you able to plan ahead when you would be ovulating and take time off in advance? 
There's so much to think about but I'm so happy that I've made this decision. It feels right and I'm 100% sure that I'm doing the right thing - I just can't wait to get started!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

v quickly as tonnes of stuff to do before bed!

bubbachops - you need FSH/LH done on days 2-5 of your cycle, then also Hep B/C, HIV, chlamydia, rubella, copy of latest smear test results, and possibly also CMV. There may be a couple of others, it's been a while since I was cycling...am sure someone else will pop on with a full list
you can get the sexual health ones done free at local GUM clinic
try your GP for the others before you pay clinic prices - you need to save every penny in this fertility game! clinics charge crazy sums for tests which GP may happily do on NHS 

re work - think it depends on the nature of your work and the regularity (or not!) of your cycle. I used to try to ensure I didn't have any important meetings etc around the days I predicted I would need to be at the clinic and then when I took the time off I'd use various reasons - doctor, dentist, waiting for a delivery, car being serviced etc. I also worked from home (fortunate enough to be able to do this) where possible on days with clinic appts so no one knew I was going to an appt - made up the work in the evening...

I ended up having lots of tx, took me a long time to get pregnant, I went abroad as well as UK and it all got v time consuming. At that point I told 2 colleagues (not my boss) who were also good friends of mine. They helped to 'cover' for me where needed   

At no point did my work ever really suffer, it was just a case of juggling a bit and making up the work in evenings/weekends - but you may not have the kind of job where you can do that

other alternative is to say you're having some 'investigations' of a gynae nature and may need to take time off at short notice from time to time. Most male bosses won't question you on this!

best of luck with your appt

and welcome to the other new joiners, great to see our singlies community ever growing   
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Aitken, wishing you lots of luck with your journey.  You might want to check out the following recent thread of info regarding first appointments: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=287484.0 As another place to start, simply going down the individual pages of the singles board will likely throw up all sorts of information you might find useful - or prompt new questions. 

Welcome too Bubbachops - loving your user name - I do love lurkers who finally out themselves...I was one of them once upon a time.  Good luck with your consultation! Can't remember all the tests but recall it being mentioned very recently on one of the threads...hopefully someone else will pop in and point you in the right direction - ah, and I see Suity already has.  Re taking time off work, believe it or not I managed to get all my IUIs done in my lunch hour (okay, so it was a bit longer than an hour but still didn't arouse suspicion). That might be the joys of working in central London though.

Aimless, good luck with your KD! 

A-Mx


----------



## some1

Welcome to our threads Bubbachops and Aitken - glad you have found us and hope you find lots of information and support here

Squiggleyhead - I had my treatment at the same clinic as you - wishing you lots of luck   

Agate - congratulations on your pregnancy! Wonderful news   

Some1

xx


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hello Newbies

Just wanted to pop on and say welcome.  It's so daunting when you first start thinking about this journey. It's hard to know when you've actually made the decision and it can take a while to get there. I don't think I fully realised I was really doing it until I was 'in the chair'.  There may be times when you feel like you've got a headful of questions and a heartful of doubts and days when it seems like you are the most certian you have ever been about anything in your life and moments in the wee small hours when you feel like you're not sure of anything.  

I hope you all find as much support and as many virtual hugs as I have on this site.  I think when God made good women he popped the URL for FF in their internet browser 

Wishing you all every ounce of luck that exists and I'm here if I can help anyone!

Love, Smiling and Wishing xxx


----------



## Claret2626

Hello  

I'm on the very first step of this mad crazy roller coaster, 36 and single and taking charge of MY life!! Day 1: coil out, folic acid stocked and appointments to be made... I think GP first call, for referal letter. 

I do feel like a total newbie!!  Anyone wishing to shed some light on what to do first, what can be on the Nhs, and timescales would be a star 

Warm wishes

Claret


----------



## lisa01

Hi all,
So, here I am, 40 years old, single and no children. Never imagined to be in this situation. But reality is that I am in this situation..... So what now?
I went through cervical cancer at 34, had my cervix removed and been in rocky relationships since then. My cancer consultant has suggested that I get an  test done, so I really need to see my doctor. I am just scared of the result.
I have always wanted children and waited for 'the right time'. Now I am worried I am running out of time. I guess I need to face reality and try and make my dream come true one way or another and it looks like this  site is the place for all the support I may need.
So what is my best starting point on this single journey?
Xx


----------



## Rose39

Hi Claret and Lisa - welcome! Can only post briefly as I need to feed Rosebud (daughter) but if you page up this thread you'll see all of the answers to your questions as most people ask this one to start with! Suitcase replied only a few days ago in detail - so would suggest starting with that. Basically the first thing you'll need is a current view of your fertility in terms of FSH, LH and potentiallly AMH levels - these will show from a hormone perspective what your ovarian reserve is (quantity of eggs not quality though) and how well you'd respond to drug stimulation if you go down the stimulated IUI or IVF route - if you have a helpful GP they may do these initial tests (though not the AMH one - you'd need a clinic to do that) - and you'd also need some sexual health tests (HIV, Hep B, C, chlamydia and a few others) which can be done at your local GUM clinic. If you don't want to involve your GP or go to the local GUM clinic then your fertility clinic will usually be able to do these for you at a charge. You don't usually need a GP referral to go to a private fertility clinic - it's very unusual to get any NHS help in terms of treatment costs, but Lisa it is worth trying in your case as your medical history might mean they are more amenable to offering you some free treatment (though it may involve being on a long waiting list which isn't great if you're 40).
Where do you both live? Some clinics have better success rates than others, particularly with older ladies (late thirties upwards) - and there is also the option of going abroad where the costs are much, much lower. 
Another thing to think about is the donor you'll use - some clinics have easy access to donor sperm, with others you'd need to import from a donor bank such as the European Sperm Bank, Zytex or Cryos. All UK sperm (and sperm imported into the UK) is identity release i.e. any resulting children can find out identifying info about the donor when they are 18. Abroad, donors are usually anonymous. 
I must dash as a small person is starting to shout, but I'm sure someone will be along shortly who can add to this any info I've missed!
Rose xx


----------



## some1

Welcome Claret and Lisa, glad you have found us - you'll get lots of information and support here. Rose has given you lots of good info, the only other thing I would suggest is having a look at the HFEA website (regulator for fertility treatment in the UK - www.hfea.gov.uk), particularly for the clinic info as it may help you to decide which clinic to go for.

Some1

xx

/links


----------



## Baai

Hi,

I'm another newbie on this forum. I'm 33, and started my journey towards single motherhood about a year ago. After 5 failed IUIs, I had laparoscopic surgery and was diagnosed with hydrosalpinx on both fallopian tubes. Today I had surgery to have both tubes removed. In August, I can start the first cycle of IVF. 
It's already been a bit of a rollercoaster ride and I haven't even started IVF. Hopefully, I don't need too many attempts. 

I'm looking forward to sharing experiences with others who're in the same boat.


----------



## indekiwi

Claret, Lisa and Baai, welcome!  


And Baai, hope you are not in too much discomfort this evening.      Hope you don't need more than one attempt - will keep my fingers crossed.     


A-Mx


----------



## scaredrabbit

Hi everyone,

I posted on here a few months ago when I'd just received a diagnosis of really low AMH (less than 1). It was a really shock as was not particularly thinking of being ready to be a single mum yet, just more curious about what my fertility levels were like as my Mum was relatively young going through the menopause (45), but I'm just 35 so still really surprised to be so low. I got some lovely replies from people at the time and have kept checking back in, and reading bits and pieces, although haven't posted since then.

Anyway, I've spent the last few months getting my head around it all, and what my options are. I went for an appointment at the Lister on Friday and met Dr Talbot who was really helpful. I'm still confused what to do though - my preference would be to freeze eggs but as the success rate is only 5% it makes me wonder whether its worth it. I was thinking of freezing embryos until I'm ready to have a baby (in a year or two; I'm not in the most stable job at the moment and feel I still need time to prepare) but the odds of that working for me are only about 12% too apparently. 

I started to look at the European sperm bank on Friday but must admit I found it really hard to cope with. Although in my head I'm willing to be a single mother and take this on, I found the whole prospect of ordering sperm really upsetting and daunting. And then with the expense as well, I started thinking that if I was going to put myself through all of this, maybe I shouldn't bother with freezing but just try 'fresh' next year when I have my best odds of 20%. I guess the worry is though that I still wont feel quite ready and/or my job still wont be stable, and I will have lost a years worth of eggs and maybe will even run out..

So sorry for all this rambling but I just had a few questions that I wondered if you ladies could help with.. I just wondered if anyone had successfully managed a pregnancy through frozen eggs, and how many times it took? Also, do any of you know how quickly things like AMH go down and the FSH goes up? Will a year make a huge difference? And can anyone perhaps share their experiences of using the sperm banks?

Thanks everyone in advance for reading and any help you can offer, I really appreciate it, and have taken a lot of strength from this forum already, although clearly its still early days for me.

Best wishes,
Scaredrabbit x


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi scared rabbit (love the name  )

I'm not an expert but I also had/have low amh, my understanding was that my ovaries wouldn't respond well to stimulation because basically there just weren't that many eggs left to get. Have you had an antral follicle count? as this is also an good indicator. I was given 3% odds for iui. I took clomid and that didn't change a thing, still the one little follicle (although as you can see she's rather large now!). When I had IUI (at 37)my amh was 2, at 40 it was 0.08  I don't think you are ever really 'ready' to have a baby particularly when you intend to have one on your own. I, like many ladies on here, really wish I'd tried earlier. In fact I make a point of telling anyone over 30 if you want children have children. Apparently once over 35 50% of women can't have children without some form of medical intervention  Once over 40 only around 1 in 8 eggs are viable, so if you haven't got many to start with... It is so so tough  If you opt for egg donation there is more time to play with but if you want to try with your own eggs and you know with certainty that what you really want out of life is a child, I'd try tomorrow  
Upsyxxx


----------



## GIAToo

Scaredrabbit - I agree with Upsy and I would try as soon as possible with the best odds that they have given you (i.e. fresh cycle).  I understand how you feel - after my first appointment with a consultant, also at the Lister, I felt upset and angry that I was even having to contemplate going it alone, but I knew for me it was now or never.  My AMH was 2.2 and I tried 4 times with my own eggs before I gave up and moved on to donor eggs.  It was actually donor embryos and I was lucky enough for that to work first time.  I did all of that in the space of 13 months because I knew time was of the essence and while my AMH was similar to yours I was a few years older.  Also during that time, I only ever had fixed term contracts so my work situation was not ideal, but again I knew I had to get on with it.  For me, looking at the donors on the Sperm bank website (I used Xytex), made me feel very sad at first.  I felt like I was looking at a dating website!  However, I tried to make it more positive, but narrowing it down to a few donors and then getting my best friend to help me make my final choice.    
Finally, I hate to say, but I think once you're over 35, and already with a low AMH, a year can make a huge difference.    Just my opinion - what did the consultant say about leaving it?  Did he just give you the %ages?
Take care and keep asking questions on here.
GIA Too xxx


----------



## scaredrabbit

Hi Giatoo and Upsey,

Thanks for your quick replies. The Lister were actually fairly chilled about the prospect of waiting to next year versus this year. I think, because I'm just 35 they are confident in the quality of the eggs just not quantity. A scan in February showed that I did have quite a few antra-follicles (about 7 I think) but of course not all might have gone on to be viable.

I know exactly what you mean about the sperm bank website being like dating website, that was my first thought. I know they are a business but its so cynical that they are profiteering out of other peoples problems, charging extras for every little thing.

You have definitely given me food for thought anyway..I think I still need a little longer to get my head around things but I'm starting to wonder if I should try later this year.

Best xx


----------



## Rose39

scaredrabbit - fertility clinics usually have counsellors that you can book a session with, if you need some help in thinking things through (usually for a fee). Several of us have used counsellors to help us come to terms with/ get our heads around the idea of being a single mum by choice or using a donor(s) - not everyone does, but it's worth considering.
Rose xx


----------



## GIAToo

Good point Rose - the Lister have a counsellor that you can see for free if you are a patient there, I'm sure I saw her before I started any treatment (I think you have to!) and she was lovely.  I saw her two more times after that, once after my miscarriage and once when I was considering donor eggs.    If the Lister are relaxed about you waiting scaredrabbit, then maybe you are ok to do that   
GIA Tooxxx


----------



## scaredrabbit

Hi Rose, and thanks for this everyone.

I have booked in with the counsellor at the Lister  - a week on Tuesday so I'll definitely go to that, and see what they say, and report back to you all.

xx


----------



## agate

even at 35, unfortunately, its still not great odds of success per cycle, so you have to keep in mind you might end up doing several cycles to make it work.  no doc can give any assessment of your egg quality until you get as far as doing a cycle and he sees the resulting embryos.  keep in mind that if you get really lucky and it works first time, you'll still have 8 months to get your head round it... but maybe no matter how much talking and planning you do you won't get your head round having a baby and how your life fits around it until the baby has arrived... then of course, you suddenly find that you do deal with it.


----------



## Claret2626

Hi Scaredrabbit

I totally agree with Agate, having 'got ready' and planned my first child "conventionally - with in a marriage, financially etc"  I still found myself giving birth as a single mum, and I wasn't expecting that!!  but we've managed extremely well.  Anyway no ones ever 100% ready for such a life changing event. 

Now trying the "unconventional" way so fingers crossed that that is just as successful!!  

Claret x x


----------



## deblovescats

hi
thought i'd join you - i'm single, embarking on going it alone. currently on down reg, due baeline scan next monday. Me aged 45, no partner, so now or never!
here's good luck to everyone
Deb


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Deb way to go good luck with your cycle. xx


----------



## want2bemum

hello, 
I'm single woman and want to be mum


----------



## greatgazza

Hi want2bemum

Have you started thinking about what sort of treatment you want to have? Or what clinic you might want to go to?  Have you had any tests yet? Any specific questions ask away and we'll all help you as much as we can and the more information you can give us about your history etc the easier it is to help answer some things.

GGx


----------



## NowOrNever

Hi. This is my first post. I'm 39 but fast heading for the big 4. 0. No known problems...never tried to get pregnant. You could set a watch by my cycles which I guess can only be a good thing. 
I'm having all my tests and a scan on the 20th and have an appointment booked for 1st August.

My question; does IUI ever seem to work. I guess it must, but there seems to be a lot of folks on here who've tried it and ended up on IVF. I know the success rates aren't great, but seriously, where are the success stories for first, second or third attempt IUIs? Maybe they're just not on here??

X


----------



## greatgazza

Hi Mc99

i'm sure some girls will be along in a minute who had success with IUI but for me personally i only had a couple of goes before i had decided i would switch to ivf as i also didn't have much time as i started out when i was 41 and i didn't want to waste any more time.  it's a good idea to put a time limit on how many goes you might try before you move onto ivf if you're not successful.  i'm sure someone else will be able to give you an idea of the rough %age success rates for iui vs ivf.  if i had started when i was younger and didn't find out about other issues i probably would have had a few more iuis but i wanted to go for the big guns earlier on due to my age etc and better chance of success

GGx


----------



## want2bemum

Yes I had almost all needed tests.
Now I only looking for some good sperm donor 

I was pregnant in december 2009 but I miscarried at 9 weeks pregnant


----------



## NowOrNever

Thanks...I know I'm jumping the gun (well, I am an impatient female! ) but although I'm older, I suppose because I've never TTC and I have no health issues, I'm expecting IUI to work (if all tests are Ok). But I appreciate biology isn't always logical!! 

Just wanted to hear some of the success stories....

Thanks x


----------



## agate

IUI tends to work in the first 2-3 tries or not at all - because either you are basically pretty fertile so you just have to get the sperm to the right place and 'bingo', or you aren't quite so fertile and need all the help you can get!  As long as your tubes are open, then its always worth a try but the older you are, the more it makes sense to restrict the number of tries to 2 or 3 goes before moving on to IVF, because you need to leave yourself with the chance to have IVF before you get much older


----------



## yorkiegirl2012

Hello, just found this forum - looks brilliant. I look forward to getting to know everyone. I am single at 35, my 6 year relationship recently ended. We were "TTC" but his heart wasn't in it, and the actual practicalities of TTC - sorry for the detail - meant that it was unlikely to happen, and we weren't right for each other. SO, in a pragmatic response - I know I really want to have children - but very anxious that I don't rush into a relationship with the wrong person, but wanting to give myself the best chance at it in the future, I went to the GP yesterday to ask for a referral to the fertility clinic to discuss egg freezing. I'd be interested to hear from others who've been through this, or who have had embryos frozen. Despite being a health professional (in a completely different field before hands go up in horror) I know virtually zilch about how this happens in the UK, and also need discussions about success rates of IVF at different ages etc.....all very scary, but in a way exciting and I really feel that this is positive step I have taken. GP didn't know much but is going to refer me anyway (someone mentioned AMH testing) and is going to phone her friend who used to work in the IVF unit and email me with more info, so I guess she was as helpful as she could have been....she also got me thinking about going it alone by asking me about it directly. Right now, it is too soon and I am just picking up the pieces of a separation, but I thought I would investigate and here I am!


----------



## agate

hi josue: I don't know much about double donation/embryo donation in the UK - but a lot of single ladies go to Greece where its legal and straightforward to be treated as a single.  Its very easy to go to a clinic like serum in Athens.  I have a thread of info all about it if you want a browse - the link is in my signature.  Spain is also a possibility and some ladies do go to clinics in Czech republic - but its not actually legal to have treatment there as a singlie.


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Josue, Mc99 Welcome on board. 

Josue were there specific questions you had about donor embryos?

There are lots of new singles who have recently come on board. It is only a suggestion and it is up to you if you run with it but a few years back when they were at the stage you are now as in just starting the journey someone arranged for a meet up so we got to know each other and support each other on and off line. Now many of us have been successful and still meet up which of course you are welcome to come and join us too but obviously I am sensitive to the fact that this journey can be a painful and bumpy one and you may not wish too see happy singletons with their LO's as sometimes it can feel everyone around you is getting pregnant and it hurts and life feels so unfair. But you are always welcome if you would like to come along and mingle and meet those who have tread the paths before you. 

Good luck on all your journeys and it is just fantastic to see how busy it is coming.


If you have any questions ask away because one of us will be able to answer it.

xxx



x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

welcome all    lovely to see our little community continue to grow

Mc99 - agate has said it all really. IUI can and does work but approaching 40 you need to be aware that if it doesn't, your chances of success with IVF are also quite low so don't waste any time. You could be one of the lucky ones where it works first time, or you may find yourself (as I did) on a much longer journey. It really does seem to be a bit of a lottery

Josue - donor embryos perfectly possible for single women, but it is very rare to find embryos in the UK - because here they would be donated by couples who had completed their families and it seems this does not happen too often. There are UK clinics with relatively short waiting lists for fresh DE cycles - eg CRM in London, the Care clinics around the country, and LWC. Fresh DE much more expensive than donor embryos though.
Abroad it's much easier - clinics often have 'back up' donors for fresh cycles and then create embryos using their eggs and donor sperm from their sperm bank. One major difference with UK vs overseas is the level of information you get about the donors and the contactability in the future. Abroad you get very very  basic info with no option to get more, and no chance for the child to contact donors in the future. UK donors are ID release so child can potentially contact at 18, and you tend to get a little bit more info, including perhaps a letter from the donor. 
So you do need to give some thought to how you feel about anon vs ID release donors before you decide on UK or overseas

yorkiegirl - sorry to hear about your relationship    most of us tend to go straight to tx rather than freezing eggs but I think natclare has been egg freezing recently - am sure she'll be along to comment soon, or drop her a PM   

want2bemum - sorry to hear about your earlier miscarriage    good luck with your next steps

finally, I think fraggles makes a great suggestion re meeting up. back when I first started out over 4 yrs ago now, a group of us met in London - a couple with babies but mostly all ttc and at the beginning of our journeys. It was fantastic to talk to others in the same situation and to have people to share experiences with. 4yrs on and we are pretty much all still friends and meeting up quite regularly. of course we welcome anyone to these meet ups regardless what stage they are at, but since most of us are now more concerned with nappy rash, weaning and the trials and tribulations of being single parents, it might make sense for some of the more recent joiners to establish their own get togethers to talk about all things ttc. and of course we're all here to answer questions and offer help if we can

wishing you all the very best of luck, hopefully we'll soon have lots more BFP announcements and plenty of new bumps    
Suitcase
x


----------



## agate

suitcase of dreams said:


> Abroad you get very very basic info with no option to get more, and no chance for the child to contact donors in the future.


it does depend on the country and the clinic - in some clinics and countries abroad, even where the donor will always be anonymous, you can get quite a lot of detailed non-identifying information, e.g., in Greece, - even being able to ask the clinic to put extra questions to the donor if they don't mind answering (anonymously, obviously) - so it can be far more detailed information that you'd get about a UK donor - but you or the child can never contact the donor.

in other countries/clinics you may just get blood group and that's it. sometimes that is all you get about UK donors - depending what the donor wants to reveal - until the child is 18 and they get the name and (old) address to try and contact the donor themselves.


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## Fraggles

HI 


I was treated overseas but bought donor sperm from xytex in the USA and there are other sperm banks such as cryobank (sp?) and the european sperm bank where you can export it to your clinic of choice. I have a photo of the donor, personality profile, health of him and his close family, reason he chose to be a donor and so much more. I literally chose him due to the blood type I wanted but I can give this detailed profile to my son when the time is right. He is also a known donor which means he has agreed that any child born as a result of his donation can be given his identifying information. There are options if you want a known donor but the clinic you choose to be treated at only provide anonymous donor.


F x


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## suitcase of dreams

thanks agate - good to know that Greece are quite good about providing additional info   

fraggles - the import option is a good one if you are having OE IVF or fresh donor cycle and def worth considering if you want more info about the donor. If you are using donor embies then of course it's not an option, so not sure if it would be any use to Josue - depends whether she is considering a fresh DE cycle or would only go for FET/donor embies..something else to think about Josue   

Suitcase
x


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## Grace10704

Mc99 - just thought I'd put a little note up to say I had both of my miracles by natural IUI (so nothing more than putting the sperm where it was needed - no drugs etc).  I had my son when I was 38 & my daughter when I was 41.  So it is possible!  For both children I set myself a limit of 3 consecutive goes (so 3 months each) then I would move on.  Luckily for me both were conceived on try 2.  Good luck!


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## agate

if you fancy greece, you might want to look at my favourite clinic... Serum in Athens.... I have a whole thread about it - the link is in my signature.


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## Fraggles

Agate love your signature congratulations and mine of useless information I have to disagree ..... more appropriate mine of useful information!


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## caramac

Mc99 - there are definitely a good few single ladies on here who achieve their little ones via IUI. As well as Grace I can think of smilingandwishing who got pregnant on her first IUI attempt at 41! And DawnCWUK was first time lucky at 37. And I'm sure there are others.

I agree with the advice that others have given you - it's definitely worth having a go with IUI if you have no known fertility issues, but sensible to set yourself a limit of say 2 or 3 attempts before moving on to IVF. I had decided to give myself 6 attempts at IUI as figured that was approximately the same odds as trying to conceive naturally for a year. After my 2nd negative I had my AMH tested and found it was quite low. I almost didn't bother going for my third IUI as I was sure it wouldn't work and was preparing to move to IVF but thank goodness I did as it was third time lucky for me!


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## NowOrNever

Thanks ladies...I won't be leaving it any longer. It's just good to hear that it can work!


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## yorkiegirl2012

Hello everyone, thanks for the welcomes....I feel like I've started to think about options properly. I hadn't realised the success rates for egg freezing were so poor (my GP spoke to a friend who had worked in an IVF unit and told me about 10% of them survive). She is referring me to discuss my options and she was the one who first asked if I had thought of going it alone (I hadn't, had been hanging in in my relationship, and now that's broken, everyone says, don't worry, you'll meet someone - I don't want to miss my opportunity for a child so now looking into SMBC seriously).

I have a quick practical question and the answer may be somewhere already so apologies - it is such a big site:

If I were to go for IVF with donor sperm, say in a clinic abroad, how long would I be needing off work? And how accurately can the trips be planned? I work full-time, have a good job and need to really book my annual leave with 6 weeks notice. Or where do we stand with respect to taking time for medical appointments?? (I know different organisations will differ...but would be useful to hear what others have done). Do some of the UK clinics work evenings? (I am in the north, very easy access to the M1 and M62). Any feedback welcome....just thinking about how I now may be using my annual leave and how to best plan.


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## agate

I don't think you'll find any UK clinics running IVF appointments in the evenings - except maybe the initial open evening.

Usually when you do IVF in the UK it goes a bit like this

- 1 or 2 initial appointments for screening and planning
- usually a baseline scan and/or bloods just before you start your stim
- monitoring scans every 1-3 days (better clinics tend to monitor you more frequently) after you get to about day 6-9 (the starting day will depend on your risk profile for overstimulation - if you have more active ovaries, your risk profile is higher) until you get to trigger shot day (about day 7-14 usually) - these appointments are often done early morning and only take about 20mins but in some clinics you might have a long wait
- egg collection 2 days after trigger shot - this is usually done under heavy sedation - so you might need a whole day off work - and won't be allowed to drive home yourself
- embryo transfer 2-5 days after egg collection - this only takes about 1 hour and doesn't involve an anaesthetic - you can normally be at work before and after.

if you went overseas you might do something like this:

1 initial appointment with an overnight stay to do tests and planning
baseline scan in the UK
possibly 1st monitoring scan in the UK at day 7 - or overseas at the clinic
need to be at the clinic from trigger shot to embryo transfer so 7-14 days.

As to the timing and planning - using a long protocol or putting you briefly on the pill or something like primolut/norethisterone (progesterone) helps to fix the start of your cycle which makes it more convenient for the clinic so they can give you a start date fixed a long time in advance - but whether this is the best protocol for your body will depend partly on the length of your natural cycles.  A lot of ladies do better starting on their natural period instead (a short protocol) because the ovaries respond to stim better but ladies whose cycles are very short  (particularly who have a short follicular phase (the time from the start of your period to ovulation)) tend to have problems using a short protocol because 1 or 2 follicles can start developing early and run ahead of the rest (dominant follicle).

I think everyone has a different experience with their work - some organisations have policies allowing you special time off for IVF - most don't.  some people get on well with their boss and can be open about it - others don't and have to keep it secret.


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## yorkiegirl2012

Hello, thanks for info re timing. I would be grateful for info re clinics which offer egg sharing in the UK - people's impressions/success rates/costs etc.......phoned one clinic (London Women's Clinic) and told this is possible, but need to start (?complete, I can't remember!) treatment before 35 and a half, which is in 5 months - so thought I may need to get my skates on and really start thinking about this. Also phoned my local fertility unit and had a helpful discussion - basically they will see me for a first consultation to think about testing / options, but this is on the usual NHS 18 week wait. 
Has anyone been to a LWC open day? They are doing one a week on Sat - starting to think about having me an unexpected trip to London!


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## Rose39

YorkieGirl - have you tried Care Fertility Manchester? That's a bit nearer home for you - if you look on the regions section of this site you'll see discussion threads for each of the major clinics and for regions - there's bound to be a discussion thread for Yorkshire and for Care Manchester.
Good luck!
Rose xx


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## agate

you'll find that egg share programmes cut off at either age 35 or before 36th birthday - because they have to be fair to the recipients and the eggs of ladies >35 don't give as good a chance as the eggs of younger ladies. 

to egg share, you'll need to meet criteria about the level of activity on your ovaries/FSH/AMH health etc - and have no inheritable diseases in your family history.

egg sharing policies vary between clinics so you need to understand the detail of the policy of the clinics you are considering.  some of them let you keep the whole batch if you have less than a certain number, some of them make you give away the whole batch.  some of them will stim you very hard to try and get more eggs to share which isn't necessarily beneficial to you.


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## 32Flavours

Hi all,

I was just wondering if there was any others out there who are just at the 'starting out' phase of their tx, or a little further down the line but fancy a chat? 

I'm attending an open day in September and am hoping to book my first consultation soon after; my plan at the moment (if all is well) is to egg share and have IVF. I'm very lucky as my mum is being very supportive, and we've been talking and planning bits and pieces the last few days  so it's all starting to feel a bit more real.

I've also just purchased a couple of single by choice books to get stuck into while I wait for September to roll round! Anyway, I just thought it would be nice to get in touch with some of you and share thoughts/experiences... so if anyone's out there, please say hi   .


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## southern_angel

Welcome 32flavours (a fellow Ani DiFranco fan?)   

I'm further down the line but hopefully there will be some others along soon, feel free to jump in anywhere on the boards, we're a friendly lot!


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## 32Flavours

Haha, yes  big Ani Difranco fan! I think we're a bit of a rare find...  

Thank you, I certainly enjoy reading all of your posts. I will try and chime in a little more .


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## deblovescats

yorkie girl - are you aware London womens clinic has a unit in darlington - also do open days at weekends - this might be easier for you to access. i'm doing DD with them as egg sharing recipient, staff lovely


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## anniemc

Hi Ladies, 

So good to find you all!  Im a single girl, 22wks preg with my first at the grand old age of 42!  Hoping all goes OK and we make it to 9 months. . . . 

But was thinking it would be lovely to meet up with some of you in the London area.  I know I jsut missed the great picnic which Im gutted about.  But does anyone else know if there are any other planned get togethers for either thinkers, mums or mums to be in London/SE any time soon?  

Thanks, xx


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## Fraggles

AnnieMc Congratulations and lovely to have you join our growing group. Re a meet up you could always start a new thread under the single women's thread and arrange a meet up? x


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## indekiwi

Welcome AnnieMc!  I'm not in London, but if you give a vague idea of where you are based (either for work or where you live) it's likely that someone in the same neck of the woods will be able to meet up for a coffee or whatever.  There are a number of singles in both north and West London for example.


A-Mx


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## Roadlesstravelled

Hi all

Just hoping someone can help me - the last 2 months I have been going through a lot of stress and my periods have been early (normally got regular cycles).  Was meant to have my depot shot for Reprofit on the 20th but I have got my period this morning - I thought it might come early due to feeling stressed out (not the best time for tx but cant be posponed).  I have emailed Eva but heard nothing back so I dont know what to do, has anyone else had the same problem of starting their period before their shot or knows of anyone this has happened to and how does this effect the tx protocol?  I am starting to get really nervous about the tx and going it alone now so any responses would be greatly appreciated

M x


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## agate

I presume it was meant to be roughly day 21 of your cycle (about 7 days after ov, about 7 days before your period), but now it will be day 2 instead?  

the shot produces a flare in your FSH for a few days before it shuts your FSH off - so if its given 7 days before your period the FSH has dropped before you get your period, so effectively, one cycle finishes with your period but another cycle doesn't start so your cycles are shut off by day 1 of your period and you are basically down-regged and ready to start estrogen anytime from then on that it suits your clinic.  

if you take the shot once your period has already started the FSH flare may kickstart your next cycle so its POSSIBLE but not certain that you may ovulate before the clinic/donor are ready for you - once you ov, your progesterone levels rise which matures the lining giving you only a limited number of days that your lining can accept an embryo.

I don't know how your clinic will manage this situation.  I GUESS their options are:

- you take the shot and they cross their fingers and hope you don't ov too early for them
- they try and guess when you ov might be and match you with a donor whose EC is about the same time as they think you will ov 
- they get you to have one or more ultrasound scans and monitor for ov using LH peesticks so that they can either be sure you aren't going to ov or if you are they can match you with a donor whose EC is definitely around the time you ov
- they get you to wait and take the shot on day 21 this month - and you do your whole cycle a bit later
- they get you to take this shot now, but do another one in 1 months' time - so you stay down regged the whole time and do your cycle next month

sorry I don't know exactly what your clinic will do in your situation - I guess it depends on whether they have a lot of backup donors so they can switch donors around to suit you or whether they only have 1 patient:1 donor so you have to fit with the donor?


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## Roadlesstravelled

THanks A
I am normally regular as clockwork but the past 2 cycles, last month and this month have been short for some reason, I thought last month's might be due to nerves about the tx, this months is prob down to stress and or nerves.  everything seems to  be going wrong or at least not going to plan and I feel I have no-one to talk to about it, its very stressful.  I have emailed the clinic but not heard back, if they need me to go to the clinic earlier than planned I will have to book new flights and car parking and negotiate with work it will be very difficult and expensive. I suppose its just a matter of waiting.  I just feel like nothing is going right at the moment its so depressing!  THanks for the info as always x xx


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## agate

my GUESS is if they 'tightly' schedule donors and recipients without backups then it'll be a case of staying the same and hoping you don't ov or delaying you til next month.

sorry its all a bit pants for you at the moment - hope it gets better - but a lot of us finally get pg on a really awful month.

best of luck

a x


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## EJx

Hey,

I want to introduce myself and say how happy I am having found somewhere that I can connect with others who would understand my situation. I was married and we had difficulties getting pregnant due to various complications and was divorced some years ago and in a few relationships since which have not worked out.  

It has been challenging for me at the age of 40, having found myself single, going through IVF. As many women do, I had an ideal of being in a relationship and having kids with someone special. I decided enough was enough and in the last month geared myself up for IVF with a donor sperm. 

I do have the support of my Mum, including living with her at the moment and financially helping me with the costs, which I am grateful for. Although being independent and never having asked for help from her or anyone before, it does feel very uncomfortable and a sense of owing her a lot and pressure/suffocation I am not used to. I have friends who don't get it because they are in a relationship with kids/grandkids, and want to just tell me to buck up. Being a very positive person, this has knocked me for six. I realise that I have to put myself first and have the baby I have always wanted. I know I can always have a relationship in the future, it just feels so odd to me.  

So, it's all happening so quickly and I am on day 3 of the Suprecur. I look forward to chatting with others and not feeling 'alone'.

Thanks, EJ x


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## agate

hiya EJ

any questions, give me a shout and I'll have a go!

best of luck with your Tx


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## anniemc

Hi Indewiki, Fraggles, 

Looks like someone beat me to it, and there is a opp to meet you hopefully in Oct nr oxford.  But in the meantime, Im in South London, and if anyone is meeting for coffee etc. would love that.
x


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## deblovescats

greetings EJx - i'm in same position. Always hoped to meet my someone special and have a family, but hasn't happened, so decided it's now or never! It's scary - like you, friends and colleagues are all loved up with families and can feel left out. Now going it alone with DD so good to support each other
off for lining scan tomorrow, hopefully ET next week
Deb


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## Roadlesstravelled

Hi EJx and Deblovescats  I know how you both feel.  I worry so much about doing it on my own, I also live no where near any family so really will be raising the child on my own.  I cant really move closer to home because of my job which is quite specialised.  I split with my partner just over a year ago and was completely devestated as I was very much in love with him and it was a massive blow but he just wasnt ready for a family and didnt want to persue IVF anymore with me (he was 9 years younger). I want to raise a child with a loving supportive partner but have realised that in life you cant always have what you want the way you want it!  I also figure I cant rely on the fact that I will meet someone else and someone who is willing to go down the IVF route with me.  It has not been an easy decision and I am totally freaking out about how I am going to cope but deep down I know I will.  Good luck to you both and you are not alone, there are lots of us who are going it 'alone' in the pursuit of motherhood!

A - thanks as always you have been such a great support!

M x x


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## mamaluv

hello, am really sorry to bump in on your discussion, but i was wondering if anyone can please answer some questions i have to ask?


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## mamaluv

does anyone know if being an AS genotype can affect egg sharing process


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## agate

I THINK if you are a known carrier of any genetic disease you probably won't be allowed to egg share? - but you'd need to ask the clinic you are considering.


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## mamaluv

thanks Agate


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## NowOrNever

Ladies..can anyone tell me; do you add together the number of follicles on each side or do you just count one side alone? So if for example you had 5 on each side, do you count that as 5 or 10? Sounds like a daft question, but it's foxed me!
Thanks


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## agate

you'd normally see it written as left 5, right 5.


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## mamaluv

hello agate, hope you're doing well? i just got a confirmation from my clinic saying that having an AS genotype does not stop me from egg sharing. it only means that the recipient's husband is not a carrier.


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## suitcase of dreams

hello everyone 

and welcome to those I have not already welcomed!

jsut popping on to point you in the direction of this poll for our next big meet up:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=291479.0

we'll be meeting either in Bicester which is between jctns 9 and 10 of the M40 or Thame - junctions 7/8 off the M40 - both are easily accessible from London, the SE and the Midlands  
It will be in a hotel with our own private function room and catering provided. Staying over is an option for those coming from further afield
please vote for your preferred location and date

it would be lovely to see some of the newer members of the singles board there - these meets are a great way to share experiences and for those still ttc, a chance to chat with those who have been successful

everyone welcome, so please vote and join us!
Suitcase
x

PS aweeze, cem and I are organising the meet, so please PM us if questions...


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hi all

I have noticed that a lot of women have posted about having a hysteroscopy (tink thats right!)before their treatment.  Can anyone advice me as to what this is, why do some women have it and how to they know they need it? Just wondering if this is something I would need although no Dr has ever mentioned it to me, thanks M x


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## agate

its where the doc puts a fiber optic camera up through your cervix so he can check for inflammation, protruding fibroids, scarring, septa, polyps etc and do a mild D&C so make sure you are starting from a 'clean' lining especially if you've had problems with overly thick 'old' linings previously.

it tends not to be done on your first few cycles - hopefully its not needed - but if things don't work out, the docs have to try and be more thorough to work out why its not working.


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Thanks Agate, no-one has ever mentioned doing one of those on me to be honest, perhaps due to only having one failed attempt at IVF.  I do worry though as after my MC I had a DnC and worry about possible scarring, I also had an infection which I had about 3 or 4 times, perhaps I should go for some swabs before my treatment.

Found out my ex is in a new relationship today - that hurt a lot! She is in her mid 20s and so am sure he wont have to go through the fertility treadmill again which is what he wanted :-(


----------



## agate

if it was a bacterial infection like mycoplasma or chlamydia I'd try and nag your clinic for at least 10 days of doxycycline 100mg twice a day started so it overlaps your ET or, or at least 1g of azithromycin 1 or 2 days before ET.  some docs think these infections are really hard to get rid of permanently.

I'm so sorry to hear about your ex's new girl.  That must really sting.  I guess you've got your own future to plan though.  maybe it'd be better if you closed your ears to all future news about him?

hope you are ok

a x


----------



## bearbear

Hello everyone,

Firstly let me say I'm very happy to have found this website, it seems like a great community and a wonderful place to come for help, advice and TLC! 

I shall try my best to keep this short, here goes!! For the past 12 years I've suffered quite severe endometriosis, I've had 3 laps done to remove endo and adhesions and I've also had a cyst on my ovary removed!  I've always been maternal but I've been waiting for Mr right to come along but unfortunately he hasn't so now at the age of 39 I've decided to go it alone, I've had a great support network of friends and family who are all behind me 100%

I went to the LWC 2 weeks ago, it was recommended to be by my gynae! After going through my history they said they would like me to have a hycosy test to make sure my tubes aren't blocked! They did all the tests and last week doctor called me to say everything was negative but my AMH result came back as very low!! He said that maybe IVF would be my best route but to be honest i just can't afford it on my own! 7 weeks ago i finished a course of zolodex which was to treat my endo and it stops your periods so i haven't had a bleed in over 6 months, i should hopefully have my 1st period in the next couple of weeks! I asked the doctor if this could of had an impact on the AMH test and he couldn't rule it out so suggested i repeat it!

I am thinking that I'm still going to keep to my original plan of IUI using donor sperm and just hope and pray it works and i just really wanted your opinions and advice, please be totally honest, am i wasting my time or is there hope? Should i repeat the AMH test once my periods return? 

Looking forward to hearing from you and thanking you in advance for all your help and advice.........

Take care

Sarah


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## caramac

Welcome bearbear! I'm not sure quite how low your AMH is but mine is fairly low and I was successful with IUI and I'm pretty sure there are others on here the same. I also wanted to ask whether you've considered going abroad for treatment as it's so much cheaper and might mean you can afford more attempts if you need them?


----------



## Rose39

Sending big hugs hun - getting results back when they aren't what you've hoped for is very stressful and hard.      What was your AMH result? When your periods come back it would be good to get your FSH tested as this would give you an indication of how well you would respond to the stimulation drugs for IVF (and stimulated IUI) and is one of the key indicators that is used to assess fertility.

IUI can work even with low AMH (there are several ladies on here who have been successful) - the chance per cycle is around 10 - 12% aged 39, so many ladies who want to go the IUI route (and not have IVF) expect to do around 6 cycles of IUI to give themselves the optimum chance of it working. If you are trying to stretch your budget as far as possible, LWC isn't potentially the cheapest place to do IUI (I think Create might be cheaper - Lulumead went there - hopefully someone will be along who can advise!) and it's significantly cheaper if you go abroad. The biggest issue aged 39 is finding the genetically normal egg, which will fertilise and develop into a baby - by the time we are in our late thirties/ early forties a high proportion of our eggs are genetically abnormal and that's why the IUI and IVF  success rates decline after age 35 and decline significantly after 40. 

Some ladies have been successful with IUI and that's fantastic, but it doesn't work for everyone, and some of us have started with IUI, moved to IVF and then ended up using donor eggs to have our families. It can end up being very expensive so it's a good idea to think through how you want to use your budget and what you can afford to do, which is what it sounds like you are doing. 

If you have a very limited budget and want to maximise your chances of a successful pregnancy, the cheapest option with the highest chance of success would be to use donor embryos - this is a very hard thing to take on board when you haven't had any treatment yet, but we have at least one mummy on here who went straight to that option, and you'd be looking at somewhere between 30-50% chance of success per cycle and one cycle of donor embryos in Greece for example would not be significantly more expensive than a cycle of IUI in London (hopefully someone can advise!). 

Hope this is helpful and wishing you the best of luck.

Rose xx


----------



## bearbear

Many thanks ladies for your replies, i do appreciate it.  Now when the doctor phoned me with my results last week as soon as he said the words AMH was low i think i zoned out so i'm trying to remember what it was and i think it was something like 1.7, i really need to phone the clinic just to clarify that! The thing is because i've not had a period in over 6 months due to medication for my endo he wasn't sure if that would of had an impact on the result so he suggested repeating it when i get my period, do you think its worthwhile doing that? 

I have been reading a lot about ladies that go abroad to have the treatment done, i guess i'd never given it much thought but maybe its something i should think about, do you know where is the best place to go? 

I think i'm going to stick to my original plan of having IUI at the LWC, not sure if i'll go for the single cycle or the 3 cycle package they do, i will need to talk to them about this! I do know that whichever way i go i need to decide asap as time is not on my side, i'll be 40 next year in April, eeekkk!!

Thanks again
Kind Regards

Sarah


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hi Sarah

I only had one cycle of IVF and although it was not successful I did produce two grade 1 eggs.  The reason I have gone straight to donor eggs was due to my low AMH and my chances of being successful with my own eggs and a gut instinct that this is where I am likely to end up anyway.  I have limited budget and just felt that if I have more chance of being successful with donor eggs the extra money I have got as savings can go towards making it a bit easier financially when the baby arrives to cope with the cost.  I had counselling to go through my options which I think helps as friends and family can be really supportive however my mum for example just kept saying 'loads of women have babies in their 40's you have loads of time' but she doesnt understand fertility rates and that these 'loads' are in fact a small proportion which have been published in stats just to show that 'more' women are having children when older but this doesnt reflect those that cant

You seem to have your heart set on trying IUI and I think that you need to go with what feels right and the path of least regret, if you dont try this route you might always wonder if it wouldve worked.  Good luck to you and keep us posted on how you get on

hugs M x x


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## EJx

Hey, 

I would love to meet up with others locally to me, the meetup in Oct/Nov is so far away. Love my friends/family, but they don't and won't quite get what it's like going through IVF as a single woman. I am in NW/Central London. Please get in touch. 

EJ xx


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## EJx

Hey 32Flavours

I have just joined Fertilityfriends and started my injections a week ago. There will be a lot of support here. Hugs x


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## OOZ

Hello ladies,

I was hoping you can help me out. I have a lovely SIL who is single and turning 35 shortly. As she have seen my fertility issues experience, she has started seriously thinking about freezing her eggs and I was wondering if you can point me in the right direction to find her some info or if someone knows some of the answers to my questions, could you please comment.

What are good clinics in London (obviously we googled some, but would be nice to know someone's opinion) and average costs. Do clinics give you success rates of frozen eggs? What is it in general. Are there any foreign clinics that are considered good? Anything else that you think would be useful to know, please let me know.

Thanks a lot!!


----------



## agate

freezing eggs is still pretty new, so I don't think you will get get much in the way of success rates yet.  most eggs that have been frozen so far haven't been defrosted to try for pregnancy, iyswim.  Whereas many thousands of babies have already been born from frozen embryos, only a couple of thousand frozen egg babies exist and most of them were from US and Italy.  In the UK by the end of 2009, only 4 frozen egg babies had been born.  The number isn't likely to be vastly higher by now as most women freezing their eggs aren't expecting to use them immediately.    Its still pretty experimental - so its not yet a guaranteed backup plan - just an extra chance of possibly being able to get pregnant later on.

If she knows she will definitely want a baby that is hers genetically, even if her circumstances aren't what she planned, she might want to think about trying for a baby sooner rather than trusting to frozen eggs?


----------



## Rose39

I used frozen eggs as a backup option in a donor egg cycle, and got a BFN even though the frozen eggs were from a very young donor - out of 12 eggs only 5 fertilised and the embryos were poor quality. In your SIL's position, if she really wants a back up option with a good chance of working, I'd suggest that she has an IVF cycle and makes some embryos using donor sperm which can be frozen - embryos survive the freezing and thawing process much better than eggs currently and there are several single ladies who have babies from frozen embryos. You have 5 years in which to use frozen embryos so it would give her some breathing space to meet someone, but it would be a backup option with a much higher potential of it working out, rather than frozen eggs which are still a bit experimental at the moment (in my view, based on my own experience).

Rose xx


----------



## Matilda7

Hi, just to add to Rose's point, I'm not sure if it's changed recently or if it depends on where you have treatment, but I've been told I can keep my frozen embryos for 10 years.


----------



## OOZ

Thank you ladies, some really good points made! Seems like this is a really complicated issue....
Somehow it is perceived to be an insurance policy but is it really 

OOZ


----------



## agate

it might be - just that its never guaranteed - so maybe a max success rate of 50% per cycle/batch of eggs (depending on the age when the eggs were frozen, and the fitness of the uterus when the eggs are used) - and we can't really know what a realistic success rate is because there isn't enough data yet... I guess most women would think that some chance is better than none at all.  

within the next few years, we might find that egg freezing is abandoned altogether in favour of having an ovary/part of an ovary frozen instead.. but that technology isn't widely available yet.


----------



## morrigan

ooz if you want me to be brutally honest at 35 the may well already be a fertility decline and its not a garentee as we all know how many eggs it can take to conceive if there are issues- theres alot of variables ie how you respond to the drugs etc and you have to look at the cost as you have to pay for a number of ivf cycles to get enough eggs to freeze then pay for the the other half of the cycle when you use them unless any clinics do deals and how long would she wait to use them? 
- I would suggest she looks into getting a fertility mot asap so she know what shes dealing with- try googling bodyclock network and i think zita west does them too although most of those tests could be sourced elsewhere- gp should be able to do a basic screen of fsh etc.

not being negative totally though so im sure someone will pop along with a postive story soon - theres a thread on it somewhere on the singles board.


----------



## Tommi

Ooz I was strongly advised against egg freezing a while back as success rates are so low. As Agate says, it may well be abandoned in the near future. If I were your SIL I would freeze embryos, or better still, go ahead and ttc now, without waiting. Partners come along at literally any age but these are precious years for her in terms of baby making. 
Txx


----------



## greatgazza

Tommi just seen your signature, huge congratulations!!!

GGx


----------



## Tommi

Thanks GG! I still can't quite believe it! 
Txx


----------



## Staffielover

Hi everyone,
Just wanted to say hi, am 38 and single and ttc using donor sperm and AI at home.  Just had first cycle with insemination. Just waiting now......


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hi Staffie lover
I am also 38 and single and ttc using donor sperm but am using donor eggs too!  Good luck with your tx and keep us posted how you get on, fingers crossed!  Ps I am a big staffie lover too xx


----------



## Staffielover

Hi Marie,
Good luck with ttc, got fingers crossed for you
Staffies are the best dogs ever, great with kids.
xx


----------



## Tommi

Hi Staffie and Marie
Good luck to you both!    
Txx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello all,
reminder that we have a meet coming up in Bicester on Oct 13th and we'd love to see you there - open to all singlies whatever stage you are at
please read this thread and let cem know if you want to come :
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=292119.new#new
we need more people to make it viable to book the venue, so please do take a look!
thanks
Suitcase
x


----------



## even

a new lass has joined and was in the chatroom for the first time last night and i can't remember her username!!!  I wanted to send her a PM as she's the only single lady that lives near me.  I thought it was flos6y but it doesn't seem to be.  

Any ideas anyone?
thanks
abnex


----------



## agate

I don't know her, but I THINK if you ask the chat mods they might have some sort of system that will have logged who was in chat on a particular day/time... not sure how much work it is for them to find out, but you could ask a chat mod?


----------



## greatgazza

or you can try clicking on 'members' then search for members. i just typed in flos and it brings up 2 pages of names with that in the name somewhere but there were only about 6 on page 3 that had registered in 2012 so you might recognise her name on there? or if she has a signature you can click on those and see if you recognise her

GGx


----------



## even

thanks ladies, i found her, well i think i have, i'll see if she replied to my PM
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Sam12345

Hello Y'all

I'm 8 weeks into a preg.  (previously suffered miscarriage, ectopic, low AMH).  Fingers crossed on this one.  Looking fwd to meeting some of you at the Oct meet-up.


----------



## some1

Hello Sam - congratulations again on your pregnancy and welcome to the singles area  Have you found the 'singles waiting for first scan' thread? Here is the link - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=282845.70 , there are a few ladies at a similar stage of pregnancy on there. I am hoping to go to the October meet, so will hopefully see you there.

Some1

xx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Sam, and welcome!  Check out posts by Tommi and Elpida, both of whom are at similar stages of pregnancy to you.    I am also planning to be at the Bicester meet, so look forward to meeting you there.  


A-Mx


----------



## Tommi

Hi Sam - congratulations! I'm 8 weeks today so we are at a v similar stage. How are you feeling?
Txx


----------



## flutter6y

Hello

First post!!! (well second - posted this in general newbies bit too lol)    I have already been lurking for a while and have popped in the chat room a couple of times and felt very welcome.  I am here for support, information, and some    and I hope I can return some of the same. Its a hard journey, I believe they say you have not 'tried to conceive' until you have gone through IVF!  All the very best of luck (and patience) to all of you and may us all gain the strength we need through being together with this x  

Please see the pink bit below for my history.   

So I am still getting my head around being single.    Lots of ups and downs you know, but generally moving forward I think. And I have obviously had a lot to think about whilst also grieving, but I have recently reached my decision. It seems in every way best for me to try and have a chld of my own whilst I hopefully can, and men? well they can wait! (a while at least   )

So I saw the fertility nurse last week, for the first time by myself (daunting but felt very positive) and I have started the process.  Day 1-3 blood test tomorrow, counsellor on Wednesday and then I will see the consultant in September hopefully for some guidance re IUI or IVF decisions.

In the meantime I have a lot more to think about and prepare for in terms of doing this as a (strong, independent   ) single woman. And I do want to consider my options about treatment abroad. So first bit of help I need - please could someone point me in the direction of the best threads for this. I'd be very very grateful. 

thank you for reading and look forward to seeing/speaking/ well typing with you soon xxx


----------



## cymbeline

Dear Flutter6y,
                      I don't normally post on here but I do lurk as I am single - but since I have a little boy I never know if I should or not. Anyway you ask about clinics abroad - if you look on the Dogus thread from Cyprus there are lots of single girls who go out there with good successes, mainly with donor eggs and donor sperm , but some do use their own eggs too.

Take care and good luck - and everyone else on this thread too   xx


----------



## agate

hi flutterby: as a singley- I'd choose serum in athens - totally happy with them. would never go anywhere else.  there is info about my experiences with serum in the link in my signature. 

best of luck wherever you go!

a x


----------



## Grace10704

Noahsark - didn't want to read & run.  You said "I don't normally post on here but I do lurk as I am single - but since I have a little boy I never know if I should or not". By definition if you are single you are more than welcome here - and if you have a little boy (however he arrived!) you are just a lucky lady who is also single! Come out of lurkdom & post as much as you want - and come join the chat on Thursday nights too so you can "meet" some of us.
Best wishes to all newbies
J


----------



## Ammekins

Hi. 
Not sure if I'm in the right place but oh we'll. 
I started my journey on my birthday last month. I'm single 36. 
I work as a midwife in my local hospital and have decided it's time for me to be the one swearing, screaming and demanding pain relief. 
So, after having blood tests, scans and consultants appointments I started down regulating on m birthday lady month. 
Not long after that my uncle died so had a bit to deal with there. 
Side effects were minimal and I was excited to start stimulation drugs. 
8 days after stimulating I had a scan and was told I had loads of follicles. They reduced my medication
And took some bloods. 
After 2 more days I was re scanned. More follicles.... 
They took more blood and my oestrogen level had risen to 31,000. 
The decision was made to take me off stimulation drugs and wait for oestrogen to drop. The fear was that if I triggered for Egg collection I would develop raging OHSS. 
After 3 days my oestrogen was still too high. The treatment was abandoned. 

I can't believe that I didn't 't even make it to egg collection. 
Does anyone else have experience of this?

Thanks for reading guys. 

Baby dust to everyone.


----------



## cymbeline

Dear Grace,  Ah thank-you for your welcome - that is very sweet of you. Sometimes you aren't sure which camp you fall into!  And I do know I am lucky.

By chance hello to Ammekins - I am a midwife  too so I know what it is like to cuddle all these babies and want one of your own  . I am so sorry you had a bad experience and they had to abandon the cycle - I am sure I have read this happeningto others so hopefully someone will respond . Have you get a plan as to what to do next or are you waiting for a follow-up?  Its so hard when it all feels out of your control. Hopefully you will get some answers. It is hard going through what feels like so much disappointment and failure on your own

One thing I have learnt is that as midwives you don't get to know/learn much about infertility. I don't normally admit I am one as I feel so ignorant. Hopefully this whole experience will make me more compassionate though.

Take care and love and luck to all  x


----------



## Fraggles

Oh Noahsark I totally second what Grace says - it would be lovely to meet you if you are able to make one our singles meet ups. The next one is Bicester on 13th Oct but unfortunately I can't make it but a lot of other singles I think with and without little ones are going. Sure they would all love to meet you as well as the newbies on here. See details here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=292119.0xx

Ammekins didn't want to post and run but hugs for your experience I can't comment as haven't been in that situation but maybe someone here has had a similar experience http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=276408.840

Sam congratulations on your pregnancy.

Welcome flutter6y.

F x


----------



## morrigan

Welcome to all the new posters especially the ones who've now taken the step of posting - there's a number of people who've become single for various reasons - sounds tough getting used to being single as well as all this - living life on your own has its own challenges as it is! Maybe we should have a thread for it?

Being a mw must be really tough when you want your own baby ! 

No experience of cycle been cancelled because of that but that must be tough- they say the first cycle is an experience as you don't know how you will respond - hopefully they can Taylor your next cycle to be a bit gentler - sounds like your clinics on the ball stopping your risk of ohss.

Hope you all achieve your dream very soon


----------



## Nicole1708

Hi everyone, just wanted to introduce myself, I'm about to start a fet - start downregging 3 sept for expected transfer last week sept/first week in oct. I'm 35, have a two year old from a fresh ivf cycle and have four frosties left. My husband died last year so you can imagine how much I have emotionally invested in these little possibilities. Excited but daunted to be going it alone.


----------



## greatgazza

Hi Nicole

I'm so so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. Gosh, this journey is hard enough but i can't imagine how tough it must be for you    you will find lots of support and love here so please ask away if there is anything at all we can help you with. I wish you so much luck.

GGx


----------



## NowOrNever

Nicole...amazing! Those frostiness must be a huge comfort. I have everything doubly crossed for you.

X


----------



## some1

Nicole - so sorry to hear of your devastating loss   .  Sending you so much         for your little frosties.

Noahsark, Ammekins, Flutter6y - welcome to the singles boards     

Some1
xx


----------



## xepohx

Hi everyone, I have decided that as I am 37 next month I want to look into using a sperm donor as Mr Right has not appeared around the corner.  I live in London and would love some advice on where to go, what criteria I would have to meet and generally any advice would be fantastic.  

Many thanks


----------



## Fraggles

Hi xepohx
Just seen your post but on a runner there is a meet up in Bicester on 13th Oct see here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=292119.0xx. If you are free you could always pop along and speak to many who have been there before you. As a starting point you will need various std tests done which you can get done at the Lydia clinic http://www.guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/our-services/sexual-health/clinics/lydia-clinic/patients.aspx next to London Bridge station. They are free here. When you return for the results if you say that you need it for IVF reasons they will print them out for you as they don't usually print out the results. Decide on your clinic and find out the tests they need first.
Popular clinics are the London Women's clinic, Lister, Care and ARGC but I am sure some others will be along to give suggestions and Serum in Athens. It may seem overwhelming to go overseas initially but lots of us do.
Good luck
xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## morrigan

Welcome Nicole - I've got everything crossed for your FET - welcome aboard - sorry to here your sad story - you deserve every success.

Xephox and any other newbies - I got loads of info from the fertility show- they run some seminars that are really relevant to single woman/ lgb couples - def worth a look http://www.fertilityshow.co.uk/where-and-when.html

/links


----------



## xepohx

Thanks, I have looked at the London Women's Clinic website and there is an Alternative Parenting Show on the 15th September if I can get to it it should be quite informative but typical I have something else to go to on that day so timings may not work.


----------



## everhopeful1234

Hi there i have visited this site a few times. I did IVF and on the fourth time over 4 years using donor sperm and egg i have ended up with a wonderful little boy. I had him at 47.  I would love to meet up with you as i read somewhere you have formed a group of single girls in the same situation. I have met suitcase of dreams before. For those commencing this journey it can bé heartbreaking but when i look at my little 7 month baby i realise how truly lucky i amb to have a gift from god. Go for it girls you wont regret it. It is the bravest thing i have ever done but the finest thing

Everhopeful xxx


----------



## Sheshylou

Hello! Just thought I'd introduce myself, I've been on here before, a while ago, me and my then GF were going through our journey TTC, sadly relationship ended in 2010. Still looking for the girl of my dreams, but coming round to the idea of going it alone. I have 5 ice babies waiting me, but have struggled with the thought of using them alone, ever since my relationship split. It almost has felt like I've let them down. So for the past few years I have been trying to get my head in the right place and come to terms with the fact that some things just don't turn out as planned!! Lol. I have a very demanding job in the military, and so I guess you could say there never is a right time....but my desire to be a mother is growing stronger everyday. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you, and hopefully to start my TTC journey next year. So there you go, that's me, looking forward to chatting to you all xx


----------



## Fraggles

Hi Michelle
Great to meet you and you have come to the right place. Hugs think we have all been there thinking things haven't turned out as planned. I never thought I would be a single mum but I look at my little one and never regret my decision to go it alone. The last thing you have done is let your frosties down staying in a relationship that wasn't right or wasn't happy isn't the best way for a child to enter the life so the fact you have given this a whole lot of thought just goes to show you have the attributes to be a fantastic and natural mum.
Not sure if you saw there is a meet up in Bicester on 13th October if you are free and want to go or live close enough. There will be singles going through tx and those who already have their dream and not so long ago were in your position.  I posted the link a couple of pages back if you are interested.
Good luck on your journey. xxx


----------



## jefnerf

Hello, I'm a little bit daunted by it all but I'm a 27 year old who has been craving a child since I was 16!  Managed to hold off and don't have any plans to meet someone, just want me and my little one.

Still looking at options but the only clinic I know of is The LWC Darlington so I might head over to that board as well.

I am currently obese but trying to tackle my weight got a BMI of 39 so trying to get closer to 30 so that I might egg share, will also be looking at donor sperm.

It's all a mindfield, is it best to go to my GP first and see what he suggests?


----------



## BroodyChick

Hi MinnieMoo
it may be a good idea to chat through your options with your GP and get onto a weight-loss programme that works for you, so you can get into the optimum physical health to start your TTC journey!
As a single parent you'll also need support from your near ones and dear ones, so do chat about your hopes and dreams with your friends and family to see who will be supporting you when you're setting out to become a mum.
Best of luck! xox


----------



## jefnerf

Thanks for your reply!  I definitely have the support of friends and family; particularly my mam who is desperate to become a nana!


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Hi All
I have been following this thread for a while, not posted as been in limbo (2ww) from my tx, got a positive result yest, and again today. I am so happy but now really worried about how I will cope as I dont live anywhere near my family.  Dont get me wrong I am sooooo happy and wouldnt change it for the world I am just scared about how I will cope!

Good luck to all going fowards with tx, I will continue to follow your progress and hope that this little one (or two) stays with me this time x x 

big hugs to all!

M xx


----------



## Tommi

Just dropping by to say hi to all the new ladies! 
Congrats on your BFP Marie! And good luck to everyone else  
Txx


----------



## indekiwi

Welcome Mishboz, MinnieMoo and Marie!


Marie, congratulations on your BFP.    Just wanted to say that although it must be great to have support around from family, not all of us do.  My family all live in Oz and NZ so popping over for a spot of babysitting isn't feasible.  You will cope, and you will also form friendships with people who can support you over time - you might even find some of those people on this forum.    

A-Mx


----------



## Roadlesstravelled

Indiekiwi - thanks for your reply, gosh must be hard looking after 3 and your family being so far away but youre right you cant always have your family there for the support!  I think I am going to be joining every mother/baby type group going but will be all good

Big hugs all those pursuing tx and hoping for +ve's for you all x x x

M x


----------



## lovelivinglife

Hi to all the lovely Single Ladies

My name is Lovelivinglife and I'm new to this thread although I have been PM-ing a couple of you for a few days now. I'm 46 years old and 20 weeks pregnant with twin girls, my first. I know it's still very early days, but I'm massively optimistic. They're here as a result of an IVF pregnancy and I was incredibly lucky to be successful with the first cycle. I'm looking forward to becoming part of this community as it's very scary doing this on your own (even though I thought about it for a couple of years) and I'd like to meet/chat etc with other people who've done the same. I intend to go along to the Bicester event and hope to meet some of you there. Not sure what else to say, other than I hope to correspond with a few of you. Hope you're all well. Speak soon. 

Lovelivinglife

x


----------



## NowOrNever

Wow, lovelivinglife that's amazing! Congratulations. So lucky on your first go too! 
Twins, you're going to need two pairs of hands!
X


----------



## indekiwi

Hi LoveLivingLife, and welcome to the singles board!  Oh - and massive congratulation on your twin pregnancy.    There's going to be rather a lot of us at Bicester and several single mummies of twins (and one of triplets), so I'm glad you can make it along.  


A-Mx


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hi Lovinglife - welcome!

And welcome to all the new single ladies - I wish you all lots of luck!

Smiling xx


----------



## lovelivinglife

Hi Indekiwi, Smilingnwishing and Nowornever

Sorry it's taken a few days to get back to you.  My computer broadband was down for a few days.  It is really lovely to hear from you all. Thanks so much for your kind words of encouragement.  I am daunted by the prospect of two little ones, but hugely excited at the same time. I had my 5 month scan on Monday and I'm expecting two girls! One of them was sucking it's thumb, and the other one was kicking away- it was so cute! I feel that they're already forming their own little personalities and I'm in love.  I'm also feeling pretty good even though the bump is getting really heavy and I'm having swollen ankles every night! I know it's still early days but I can't believe I'm here - so I'm so wanting to meet/correspond with other women in the same position, who hopefully will understand what I'm feeling. I STILL haven't signed up but I intend to tomorrow and look forward to meet with some of you in Bicester.  I'll have to turn up with a badge with my name on! Please let me know your stories ( if you feel it's appropriate) - in your own time. Take care and speak soon,

Lovelivinglife xx


----------



## Tommi

That's lovely news Lovinglivinglife! Lots of    for the rest of your pregnancy  

Txx


----------



## aimless1

Hi Lovelivinglife - congratulations on your girls! I have my 20 week scan on 5th october and can't wait to find out what 'species' I have. My friends are all betting on a boy purely because I swore I would never live with a male again!  Aimless x


----------



## lovelivinglife

Hi there Tommi and Aimless

Thanks so much for your kind wishes. I am very excited and content with the world at the moment!

Good luck with your scan Aimless, hope you get what you wish for! Mine went on for quite a while - examining every nook and cranny, but it was so worth it. Are the two you coming to Bicester? 

LLLx


----------



## aimless1

I will be at Bicester - look forward to meeting you there. A x


----------



## mondaybaby

well er hello, nervous newbie here! I am single and have a 11 month old son. I would like another baby and I am looking at using a sperm donor. No idea where to start really! Going to see my GP to see if they will refer me as a £ client to the local NHS clinic but no real clue where else to look. Hope everyone is well x


----------



## Diesy

Hi Monday, welcome to the singles boards, we'll see you all right! No need to get referral from GP for private clinic, can just ring and make an appointment. What are you thinking of coming for? We have special boards for IUI and IVF. Aw, chuckles to your  Where abouts in the country are you? There will maybe be someone who's used a clinic near you.


----------



## mondaybaby

I am in the West Midlands. I don't really know what method will be best for me. I have thought about egg donation but I don't know enough about it really. I have googled local private clinics and just ended up in a flap not sure which one to contact! Do you have to pay for the consultation usually. Money is tight and I really only have enough for about 2 goes from what I can tell so far. I know the odds are probably stacked against me. I am still breastfeeding my son so my cycles are not regular at all at the moment although they are settling more now. Thanks for the welcome


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello and welcome Mondaybaby   
yes, you will have to pay for an initial consultation - in London it's in the region of £125, possibly slightly cheaper in the Midlands. think we have quite a few Midlands singlies on here so am sure someone will be along with some clinic recommendations for you soon
if you are relatively young and conceived your 1st with no problems, IUI with donor sperm would probably be what they recommend - it's less invasive and lower cost. but you really need a consultation to discuss your options as everyone is different and it's hard to generalise
best of luck!
Suitcase
x


----------



## agate

if you are still b/f, then your prolactin levels may be too high for fertility tx until you stop completely. 

during the initial investigations to determine whether you should do ivf/iui, they will want to check your basic hormones like fsh, lh etc... but high prolactin from breast feeding could throw your levels off...and suppress how your ovaries look on scan.

it might be that you can't really get started until you've finished b/f... so maybe enjoy that and give it as much time as it needs?


----------



## mondaybaby

Thanks for you replies    I have so many questions buzzing round my head!  I guessed breastfeeding could cause an issue but someone told me there is a sperm shortage and I may have to wait a year so I guess me and my boy will have a while longer on the boob yet! 
I did conceive easily with him so I hope there won't be too much problem. Do you know if the fact I had my thyroid removed could affect things? My levels are stable (when I'm not pregnant anyway!) and I had it done before I caught with littleman so I hope it would be ok. I am so impatient lol I just want to get on the road and hope it works out for us! I am not sure what I am going to tell people if I am lucky enough to get another baby this way though   
Hope everyone is having a good weekend


----------



## agate

thryoidectomy isn't usually a problem for fertility so long as you get your thyroxine dose into a good range before you conceive (top third of normal range, I think?)

if you had it removed because of Graves or Hashimotos, sometimes there is a bit of a link with natural killer cell issues, but if you conceived easily last time, then that probably won't be a problem for you.

there is an underactive thyroid thread on the immunes bit of the board with a few post-thyroidectomy ladies if you want to take a look there.

and yes, if you conceived easily before you are hopefully only looking at DIUI rather than IVF which is cheaper... and don't forget you can always go abroad to some really nice clinics if you can't get what you want when you want in the UK.  Denmark is pretty popular for DIUI for straightforward cases.


----------



## Betty-Boo

agate       loving that ticker!!  Where has the time gone? 


Tis xx


----------



## agate

stolen by the time fairy?


----------



## BroodyChick

Hi Mondaybaby - at the Lister, egg sharers don't pay for consultation and initial tests. It's 100% free. Only charge is for emby freezing and fet xx


----------



## nightflower

Hello everyone!

I havent been here since January, some health issues of my family kept me away from going on with my "becoming a single mom" process... May I remind you that I m 42, single, and seriously thinking single motherhood.

The thing is my blood tests have shown some deterioration since January, and I m getting anxious for my egg quantity / quality:
FSH 7.1 iu/l
AMH 1.5 pmol/l
E2 55 pg/ml
LH 5.6 iu/l
PRL 13.2 ng/ml

Doctor (without having seen these results) suggested IUI - natural cycle, and then we will see. What do you think?

Thank you!


----------



## agate

if your tubes are open and you haven't been trying unprotected sex then iui is always worth a try, but if it doesn't work within 1-3 cycles, you need to give up and move quickly to ivf whilst you still have a chance with that.  iui success rates with low amh at 42 are low, but not nil, so worth a quick try.


----------



## nightflower

Thank you Agate
that's what I had in mind, yet I will confirm with an other doctor.

Btw, any chance you are Greek (your name seems to have greek roots)?

Thanx again


----------



## Lucky15

Hi everybody,

I hope that you dont mind me joining your thread? I have just done my last IVF at Create clinic (a natural cycle!) My amh is non existent at 0.07 so this was the one and only option that I had left. My partner left me just after our last IVF which was cancelled due to poor response but to be honest I am feeling much more positive about doing this as a single mother than I ever did when he was around so all good   

I had a 3 day transfer yesterday and am now officially pupo and in my two week wait   Im so excited!!! (so far!) I used a sperm donor from the European sperm bank and got 2 lovely grade 1 embryos, I thought it best to only transfer 1 as twins could be ridiculously hard and expensive for a single gal! 

I already have a 13 year old daughter so I am no stranger to single parenthood.  If Im honest I would have preferred to have had time to meet a lovely guy first but trying to date when you are desperate to be a mother for the second time and your eggs are running out left me with no option (I felt!) If I get pregnant I can relax and take my time to find somebody for the right reasons without the air of desperation!!!

Anyways.... I am looking to find any other single ladies who are in a similar situation!

Look forward to hearing from you

XXX Emma


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello and welcome Emma   
wishing you all the best with your tx, good luck for the 2WW    
we've a singles 2WW thread but not sure anyone is there right now...but just jump in and post anywhere on the singles boards, we're a pretty friendly bunch!
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lucky15

Thankyou for the welcome Suitcase of dreams (love the name!!!) I will have a look on the singles 2 ww thread   

XX Emma


----------



## Diesy

Welcome to the Singlies Emma and good luck with your two week wait!  How EXCITING!


----------



## karenstar

Emma


----------



## lulumead

Hi Emma   


Crossing everything for a positive result at the end of your 2WW. I was at Create too...and hoping to go back for another at some point. Fingers crossed they have worked some magic   
xxx


----------



## Lucky15

Hi Lulu, Karenstar, Diesy lovely to hear from you all!!!

I have managed to survive the 2ww and my blood test is at Create tomorrow........very exciting!!!!!

So far Create have been wonderful Lulu, how was your experience with them? I suppose if you are planning to go back it was all positive  

Look forward to hearing from you
XXX Emma


----------



## arwenaessedai

Hello, 

it's my first message here. Reading all of your messages has been really instructive and uplifting!
I'm 37 and I just decided last month to start the journey to Single motherhood. 
I've decided to go for a DIUI. 

I'm puzzled by the clinics chosen on this board. I looked up success rates on the hfea website and St Bart seems to have the best success rates for DI in my age range (30%), followed by King's Hospital (9%). But when I look at success rates of IUI it seems that Hammersmith is the best (22%) followed by Women's clinic at 14.5%.
Which rate is the correct one to look at, DI or IUI?
Why are women on this board recommending Create and Lister clinics? Is there other information out there to factor into the clinic selection?

Has anyone of you used St Barts? Are they friendly to SMCs?
I'm in contact with St Bart, but there seems to be crazy waiting times. 
Any help would be appreciated


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello and welcome arwenaessedai   
Lister is particularly recommended for older women and those who have had difficulty conceiving - they have good success rates with women over 40 and are known to be good for those who have failed at other clinics
Create I believe specialise in what is called 'natural' IVF - where they do IVF but using low stimms so you only produce 1-2 eggs. Is less intrusive than full IVF and also seems to have good success rates
Whilst I appreciate you need to base your clinic decision on something, I would say not to pay too much attention to the stats - everyone is an individual and you simply won't know how good your own personal success rates might be. Other things to take into consideration are: availability of sperm/waiting lists, clinic location (you will be there a lot, often at short notice, so choosing one you can get to easily is important), opening hours (especially for IUI - check they will do insemination/are open weekends otherwise you may end up missing a month if you get your surge at the weekend), and of course the overall 'feel' of the place and whether you are comfortable with the consultant etc
I have no personal experience of St Barts so can't help there I'm afraid
Wishing you the very best of luck
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lucky15

Hello Arwinaessedai,

I dont really know much about IUI statistics and which clinics are successful in this area, i have POF (early menopause!) so I had to go straight to IVF. I chose the Lister because like suitcase of dreams says they are good with ladies with low amh, high fsh, (which is me!) and a lot of clinics will not even bother if you want to try with your own eggs at this stage and want you to move on to donor egg straight away. 
I chose Create for my third go as they do the natural IVF and my body does not respond at all to stimms, only producing the 2/3 eggs a cycle so again it really was the only way left to go!
I now have my BFP, early days but hopefully Bubba will stick!!!

Good luck with your IUI and choosing the right clinic for you!   You might also want to consider where you are getting your donor sperm from as some clinics have their own sperm bank attached, and to use them can be a lot cheaper, whereas others want you to order it in yourself from America/ Denmark or somewhere similar (That is assuming you are not using a friend!)

Sorry suitcase of dreams I just realise you have already mentioned the point about sperm availability!!!

XXX Emma


----------



## Diesy

Congrats on your BFP Lucky15, hope you are doing well, those early days can be tricky.

arwenaessedai - welcome, it is confusing at the start picking a clinic. I wish like JJ recommends that mine was easy to get to  Being north of the border my local one is astro-flippin-nomical, at least a grand more than others in the country. Good luck picking. You'll find all the clinics ans users from the main menu so if on-one on singles has used your chosen clinic check out the other threads. St Barts - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=277420.0 Think that's right


----------



## Sarajessie

Hello,

My first post! 

Firstly thank you to everyone that posts on here. I'm not great at this sort of thing but if everyone was like me I would have not been able to read so many informative and positive posts. 

I am on the brink of starting my first IUI treatment. It's been a long road and not least because of the way I have chosen to go about it all.....

After getting ever closer to my 40th birthday and not being in a relationship I decided to look into IUI. I have to say that even though I thought I had done all the research it has still proved to be a confusing and difficult process. 

I saw a consultant in the UK and was advised that a donor may be difficult to find and it may be better for me to consider a clinic abroad. He recommended a few clinics and I then flew to Spain to meet with a clinic there (Irema). The clinic in Spain is fantastic - clean, professional and happy to assist. But being in England has meant that i have had a lot to organise myself - (HSG, blood tests, drugs from Italy and finally today my ultrasound and Oestradiol blood test). 

My tests today were at the Wessex Clinic in Southampton and I really wish now that I had perhaps worked with a clinic in the UK which may have taken a certain amount of stress out of the process. 

So as I have mentioned I start the drugs tomorrow and fly to Spain on Sunday. Scared, hopeful and a lot more wiser to the process.


----------



## indekiwi

SaraJessie, welcome to the singles board hun.      Good luck for this cycle of tx (treatment) - hope you prove to be first time lucky.    If not, you could always have tx at the Wessex next time around - there are a number of single ladies posting on this board who conceived their babies there.  Look out for the IUI thread as well - I think there are a few people who are posting there at the moment.  


A-Mx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Sarahjessie - good luck with your trip and IUI in Spain!        Let us know how you get on, there is a 2 week wait thread in Singles too


----------



## Fraggles

Hi

Welcome SaraJessie, Lucky15 and arwenaessedai.

Lucky15 how super exciting for you to be on the way to having a second child. Is your daughter loving the prospect of being a big sister?

SaraJessie a lot of us have had tx abroad so can sympathise with all the arrangements but that will soon be forgotten if you get your BFP.

Lots of love xxx


----------



## scarlett1251

Hi everyone   I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with my little DIUI baby.  I was lucky and it worked 2nd time for me - even with low AMH.  I'm very excited about meeting my baby after a difficult pregnancy. Also anxious about how well I will cope in the first few weeks being on my own.  It would be good to get in touch with other single pregnant women as I feel like I'm one of a kind at the moment!


----------



## Fraggles

Scarlett1251 Hello nice to meet you. I am so so excited for you especially as my own darling little boy was born on the 20/12 so you are now where I was this time last year. Where in the UK are you? x


----------



## greatgazza

Hi Scarlett, glad you have found us 

there's a singles bumps thread you can join, there are quite a few other bumps right now but you might be the first to burst!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=290936.140

and then after that there's a singles with babies thread.

You're definitely not one of a kind now!

GGx


----------



## scarlett1251

Hi Fraggles-I live by the sea in Deal, Kent.  I am quite excited about having a Christmas/new year baby - will certainly be a special one this year!

Thanks GreatGazza, I will check out that thread.


----------



## Fraggles

Scarlett how lovely to be by the sea. A lot of us are in the Essex, Kent, Herts type area so it will be lovely to meet you both soon. xx


----------



## happybetty

Hey all, I'm a single 38yr old woman opting for egg freezing- anyone else out there doing this/ done it?!
I am very nervous!


----------



## agate

it is becoming more popular, but as you probably know only about 12 babies in the UK have been born from frozen eggs so its not a technique that is really proven yet - even though the first frozen egg baby was born back in 1986.  Live birth rates are very much unknown so its hard to know whether you can expect to get anywhere close to the typical fresh IVF rate for your age... I guess its mainly for that reason that a lot of singlies figure that if they are sure they do want to have children at some point, they may as well get on and try to get pregnant now rather than wait - unless of course you are totally happy with having donor eggs to buy you more time, but I guess if that was true you wouldn't want to spend the money on egg freezing?  

one line of logic is that there is never a 100% perfect time to have a baby but the sooner you try the better the chance?  

but egg freezing must be way better than doing nothing at all if you want to have a chance with your own eggs and are sure you couldn't cope with getting pregnant soon?

the actual IVF process is the same for egg freezing as for ordinary IVF (you just stop at the egg collection bit rather than fertilising the eggs and having embryo transfer) so there are many of us on here that have done it several times if you have any questions or need any help.

a small minority of women have a tough time on the meds... but mostly they are absolutely fine and you quickly get into a routine of doing the jabs so by the time your a few days in, it all seems totally straightforwards - and there is absolutely nothing to worry about! 

x


----------



## happybetty

Hi Agate  

thanks for the message.  Really pleased to have found this site 
  I've thought about this a lot, but ATM I'm a self-employed, single woman with not much in the way of family support, so emotionally and financially I think it might be better for me to go the route of egg freezing.  
I only recently discovered that my mother had an early menopause and have had problems with miscarriage; couple that with the number of actual births from the procedure and I know it's a really really long shot  .  
Had a pretty low AMH result (7.9) but still want to give this a good go.  Which thread is best to find out what things are best to do to improve your chances (vitamins and diet etc) / relieve side effects during the egg harvesting process?
Thanks again - hoping this process is not too lonely and emotional


----------



## Matilda7

Hi happybetty,

This thread - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0 - was a big help to me when I had my IVF. I took most of the vitamins on the list, as well as eating loads of protein, milk and cutting out alcohol and caffeine (well, cutting down caffeine to about one cup of coffee per day).

Good luck x


----------



## CynthiaRose

Hi ladies

I spent a little bit of time on here a while back, when I was thinking about and starting treatment, but didn't hang around as it all seemed a bit too much to keep up with! Anyway, I have been amazingly lucky and now am the delighted mum of b/g 8 month old twins and loving it! I've been thinking it would be great to meet up with some people that have done the same thing, and I'm also beginning to think that it will be important that my kids get to know others in the same position as they grow up. I'm in Kent, single, 36 and had IUI using donor sperm.

Are there others in the SE? Where is the best place to chat and get to know people - find the huge expanse of threads overwhelming, so let me know the best place to post!

Thanks xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hello, welcome back and congratulations CynthiaRose!
suspect best bet for threads is singles with babies as most on there will be at same stage as you
meet ups are usually posted on their own threads or feel free to set up a thread suggesting a new meet in your area   
if you find ******** easier than FF then we have a ** page (secret) - if you PM me your ** details I can send you a friend invite and add you to the group
I'm in Surrey (nr Guildford) so not a million miles away   
Suitcase
x


----------



## CynthiaRose

Thanks for the speedy response, Suitcase! I remember your name from last time. Not far away then, hope to get to meet you soon!
I will search out that thread/board and PM my ******** details. Hope you and your boys are doing well x


----------



## piggles

Hello!

I am a complete newbie to all of this, still trying to get to grips with the various treatments available, what they involve and all the medical terminology (not to mention the abbreviations on here!) but this forum is proving very helpful.

I'm 39 next month and single, with the added complication of living in Dubai. It's illegal to be single and pregnant here so I'm working my way around that little hurdle before moving on to the next one. Whichever treatment I end up having will require me to fly somewhere long haul and take time off work so although I can pretty much choose to go anywhere I'll be very limited in the number of attempts I can realistically make in a year. Sadly I'm not one of Dubai's Porsche-driving-maid-employing-money's-no-object types!

This forum has been a real eye opener for me, makes me wish I had started a little earlier


----------



## CynthiaRose

Hey piggles. good luck with your treatment! Didn't know that about Dubai. wow. My only experience is iui in a london clinic, but let me know if i can help!


----------



## Tommi

Hi Piggles

Welcome! I didn't know that about Dubai... blimey! It would be fine if they provided all single women with a gorgeous, decent man but I suspect that wasn't part of the deal when they made that particular gem of a law! Anyway, good luck with everything  

Txx


----------



## Amittai

Hi Piggles, welcome!
That is interresting and fascinating that you are trying from Dubai (via where ever). my brother lives in Dubai and I've been once or twice. I know about the law that you can't 'live in sin' and they do check up on that apparently. There was also that scandal a little while ago where some tourists got caught kissing or something shocking like that, on the beach and got deported.
But from what I can gather they are more into checking if there is some smoke or someone pointing in the direction of 'something' otherwise they kind of won't dig around. but then again, as you say it might be a bit difficult to have the treatment there and you'd have to be careful about follow up apps (though I'm sure you know more about it than I do) but I just wanted to say good luck and all the best, I think you are a like a real trailblazer doing what you are doing, good for you and please keep us updated! I bet if there are other Dubai (or Emirates states) lurkers they will probably be really interrested in your journey.


----------



## piggles

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!  It's quite scary embarking on this little journey but knowing I'll find such great support here is really comforting.

Tommi, yes unfortunately gorgeous decent men aren't part of the single female expat package - damn good idea though! I know a lot of women here who would sign up for that, including some who are already married  

Amittai, you're right about the authorities tending to check only when something is pointed out to them - I lived 'in sin' with my ex for 5 years and our neighbours, who are very devout Muslims, never complained about us. I think 99% of the time it's overlooked but doctors are legally obligated to report single pregnant women to the police if they come in for treatment. It leads to all kinds of problems and you hear of a lot of babies being abandoned because a housemaid has become pregnant by her boyfriend (or worse, employer) and she doesn't want to go to jail for it. Foreigners can't adopt the babies that are abandoned and not all UAE families are prepared to open their homes to these little ones so they basically grow up in an orphanage. It's a terrible situation and makes my heart ache.

Anyway, enough of the sad stuff! I'm very excited to begin this journey, starting with 'getting married' (my mum will be thrilled!) and will keep everyone posted on progress.

Piggles xxx


----------



## Sharry

Piggles although not single I am in Dubai, and the clinic needed both mine and my hubbies photographs, passports, resident visas, blood tests and marriage certificate so guess there is noway to beat the system here    My friend who was married went to Serum for treatment as she needed Donor eggs.  Where are you going to move to once you get pregnant? As once again they ask for all the paperwork to prove your married.

Also wish I could afford to drive a fancy car, but trying to save for another round of treatment  

sharry xx


----------



## piggles

Hi Sharry, lovely to meet a fellow Dubaian  

I'm planning to stay if all goes well. I've lived here for 20+ years so it's home, plus my family's here too so I have a solid support network that I wouldn't have if I went elsewhere.

I'm very fortunate to have a friend who's willing to marry me so that I can go through this process and stay here. Sadly he's not prepared to be the donor as well (it would've been my preference but alas... too complicated to go into here), but he wants to help in any way he can. Hopefully we can sort out the marriage thing in the next couple of months and then maybe a nice honeymoon to UK, Denmark or Greece could be on the cards  

All the best with your next round of treatment. Who needs a fancy car when you could have a pram?!

Piggles xxx


----------



## BroodyChick

piggles said:


> Who needs a fancy car when you could have a pram?!
> 
> Piggles xxx


AMEN, sister  x


----------



## Fraggles

Piggles congratulations on your marriage and forthcoming pregnancy. Think you are unique in being the first 'single' married as far as I know.
Good luck.
xx


----------



## lulumead

Hello piggles...and any other newbies I've missed!


Good luck with the wedding     Keep us updated with how you get on.


xx


----------



## Almonds

Hi all!
I'm new to this website..I'm 39 years old & single & live in Spain. 
I went to a fertility clinic just to see what options they'd recommend, and they recommended IUI with DS, starting straight away    It all seems to move very fast over here...my AF has just started, so I'm starting Gonal-f shots tomorrow...I know it's the right thing to do but now it's happening I'm feeling terribly nervous about it all! My mind is going round & round like a crazy one!

Luckily I've got a supportive mum & friends over here which helps a lot. But I still don't know anyone going through this, so there's only so much support they can give me,

It'd be great to hear from anyone who was feeling scared & unsure at the start...I'm sure a lot of singles choosing DS felt like I do at some stage! 

Xx
Xx


----------



## Fraggles

Oh Almonds I am so so excited for you. I remember being in your situation only a few years ago and the night before insemination I really thought about hopping back to the airport as I had iui overseas and getting the hell out of there. But have to say with my darling son asleep upstair it was the best thing I have done. I had two friends visiting last week both married with children. One of them said she just got married to have kids but never loved her husband and would divorce but it is so much to untangle. The other said everything about her husband - his smile, his voice, his face really annoys her and she would like out. They both said they so wish they had done it my way.

Trust me this journey makes your mind go round and round crazy so that is totally normal just wait till you are on the two week wait of madness after you have had iui and are waiting to test.

Good luck. Go get it girl.

xxx


----------



## notamuggle

Hi everyone,

I'm another Newbie to the site but have been lurking for a little while and reading everyone's amazing stories

I'm 34 in two weeks and I've been single for what seems like forever! I've always known I wanted children but just presumed I'd meet the rght person one day and it'd just happen. Turning 34 has made me realise I can't wait for a man and maybe loose my chance to have kids. A man is a nice bonus if I find a good one but having children is a necessity!

I didnt really know much about IUI for single people till i came across your forum when i was looking up adoption and I suddenly felt so excited that this might be a possibility for me 

So last week I decided I was going to try IUI with DS at a clinic in Sussex

Luckily for me my friend's colleague at work is currently 7 months pregnant through IUI and did it all single. I met with her last night and she is such an inspiration. She talked me through everything and gave lots of great advice. I can't wait to start 

Firstly I'm coming off my pill now! I've been on it nice I was 15 due to heavy periods so I've no idea about my cycle so I'm going to see what that's doing for the next couple of months then book in to the clinc for my first tests

Fingers crossed there's no problems

I've told my family and they were surprisingly all very excited and not in the least bit shocked  so I know I'll get lots of support from them 

I'm excited and terrified at the same time but hope they'll be lots of hugs and advice from all you lovely ladies along the way


----------



## Almonds

Thanks so much Fraggles, I really needed that encouragement today!! 

I just wish I could fast-forward my life by 6 months now to see what will be happening...

Xx


----------



## Tommi

Welcome Almonds and Natasza79! Lovely to see you on here.

Almonds I know this is going to sound crazy but try to stay in the present moment. I think the biggest lesson I have learned from this journey is that nothing is certain. The more we can cope with the not knowing, the easier it will be. I only say that because it's the thing I need to remember the most!  

Good luck to you both and to any other newbies and lurkers!

Txx


----------



## Tommi

Fraggles - I hear that all the time from married friends. I don't know any couples of my age group who have happy relationships. It's so sad, but also shows how so many relationships are such a sham. A friend is in the process of divorcing and has started a relationship with the first guy she met online. She told me she doesn't like his voice, his body or how he looks, but she wants to be in a relationship. I really don't understand it. I just don't seem to have that gene and yet in the eyes of "society" she's the one who is doing things "right". It's insane!
Txx


----------



## Almonds

Well I started Gonal F 2 days ago (I'll be trying IUI) and am already an emotional mess!! One minute feeling fine, then feeling angry or tearful...

I'm dying for a hot bath to try to relax but wasn't sure if you're allowed one whilst stimming, I've looked all over the web & it seems its ok to have a hot bath before transfer, just not during the 2ww....has anyone got any advice on what I'm not supposed to do or eat at this first stage? It's all so confusing! 


Xx


----------



## greatgazza

hi almonds, think the emotional mess goes with the territory!!  hormones, drugs, fear etc just an all round emotional rollercoaster! but exciting too.

have you been on the IUI thread:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=243822.620

i have never heard anything about avoiding hot baths apart from during the 2ww either. i, personally, didn't change anything about what i was doing, not even during the 2ww. i really wouldn't worry too much if you're generally a healthy eater etc. are you taking folic acid?

GGx


----------



## agate

best to avoid hot baths during 2ww and early pg.  you don't want the extra risk of infection from a bath - so showers are safer, and you don't want to get too hot either. probably am being overcautious but personally, I would avoid hot baths.


----------



## greatgazza

hey agate, congratulations!! not sure when you had your gorgeous blob but hope you're both doing well!

GGx


----------



## BroodyChick

Hi Natasza, welcome and congrats on your decision to have a baby!
There are so many ways for a woman to do this (poor men... ) I am sure you will find the best way that works for you and your future child! A great book I would recommend is 'Experiences of Donor Conception' which I found interesting to read to gain an insight into donor-conceived kids' opinions.
Best of luck xx


----------



## greatgazza

Hi Natasza, sorry i missed you! didn't read back. fuzzy brain and lack of sleep do that to you! 

well done for finding this thread and good luck with your tx.

GGx


----------



## notamuggle

Thanks Tommi, Broody Chick & great gazza & good luck Almonds

I'll definitely look up that book Broodychick. I'm so excited I can't wait to get started! These next couple of months before I start the first lot of tests are going to seem like forever! 

The only thing I'm apprehensive about at the moment is talking about it to one of my best friends. She recently had a MC then found out she'd gone though early menopause & her and her DH have decided not to go down the route of IVF with donor eggs or adoption. I just know she'll probably have mixed emotions and I don't want to cause her any more pain


----------



## Almonds

Thanks for the IUI link GreatGazza and the reminder about the folic acid..I've been taking it but forgot today! 

Good luck to you too Natasza, I've got a similar situation with a good friend a few years older than me who has been trying for years & just had a MC at 10 weeks.....I just feel if we tell them in a sensitive way they will appreciate how important this is to us, as it is to them. 

Baths & hot chocolate def help with the emotional craziness!   

Xx


----------



## notamuggle

Told my best friend on Friday and her reaction was so amazing. Not only was he not shocked at all but she's really supportive and said she'd come to appts with me if needed  that's taken a big weight off my mind. 

Told another 3 of my dearest friends today which went really well, one of my male friends seemed a bit shocked and started telling me horror stories of drs who'd lied about where the sperm had come from and it was really all his and he'd fathered 75 children by it! I think he was jus a bit shocked and said the first thing about it he could think of about it.

The others were very supportive, they told me  it was would be hard but that they'd help anyway they could 

I had a good chat to one of their husbands too and asked for his opinion. He asked lots of questions first then said it was a good idea, that I'd be a great mum and gave me a big proper hug (not usual from him as he's usually a bit shy)

It's nice to know so many of my friends are not only supportive of my decision but willing to help along the way too. Also nice to know any child I have (fingers crossed) will have a few great male role models around 

ps found Single Mothers by Choice for 99p in the charity shop, seemed like fate  x


----------



## Vikkilou

Hello, 

I'm new to all of this and like a few others I have been reading other posts and have finally plucked up the courage to write a post myself.
I'm a 32 year old singleton. Went through chemo and radiotherapy a few years ago and more for my piece of mind I decided to have some fertility tests done on the NHS. I was told that my treatment shouldn't have impacted on my fertility. But got my AMH result back on Thursday and its only 2! So I decided that I needed to persue having a baby by myself. 
I'm due to have my first IUI procedure done using donor sperm a week on Friday. I'm feeling all sorts of emotions. I don't want to get to my hopes up at the prospect of it working first time round but I know the importance of a positive mind set. Feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster. 
My family are all very supportive and I have told a few close friends but I feel I need some support from people who know what I'm going through. 

Vikki


----------



## greatgazza

Hi Vikki

you've come to the right place, welcome!

sorry to hear that you had to have chemo and radiotherapy, that must have been tough   I don't really know anything about AMH as i never had mine tested but i think there are many women on here with even lower than yours that have been successful. there are some threads about low amh, here's one:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=296219.170

Glad you have got the support of your family and friends but, like you say, it's helpful to talk to people who have been through it. It is an emotional roller coaster but hopefully there will be some excitement mixed in there with the nerves. Where are you having tx?

Natasza, glad you had a lovely reaction from your friends. it really does help to have people on board so don't be afraid to take her up on her offer and ask for help when you need it.

GGx


----------



## indekiwi

VikkiLou, welcome hun, hope you find all the support you need on the singles board.  You might want to check into the IUI and then the TWW threads as the most relevant to you on the singles board.   


A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

Hi Vikkilou


Just wanted to say hello and that I was a total wreck before my 1st IUI - think its natural to feel completely overwhelmed, its a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions!!  Also don't be too hard on yourself about keeping a positive mindset...there are a few of us on here who conceived at the point when we were about to give up - definitely not much PMA (positive mental attitude) going on then!  I think its all about finding that lucky egg.  Crossing fingers that yours turns up quickly, remember someone has to be 1st time lucky so why not you    




Hello to Natasza79, Almonds and any other newbies I have missed - look forward to hearing all your success stories soon ( I am doing PMA for you all   )


xx


----------



## Vikkilou

Hiya, thank you for you responses and links. I will look at the other pages.  
I'm having my tratement at the Wessex Fertility centre in Southampton.  Have to say, so far I've been very impressed with everything. The only thing that still leaves me gob smacked are the prices. I am single person and I only work part time as I'm currently doing my teacher training at Uni. So money is tight enough as it is without having to pay privately for my treatment. Although all I can say is that if it works it will be money very well spent.

Vikki


----------



## elizabethdennis

Hi Everyone!
I'm liz! I'm new here. I'm excited to meet new friends here. I hope I could give positive contribution in this community.


----------



## greatgazza

Hi liz, welcome!  what stage are you at? are you planning on tx or just thinking right now?

Vikklou quite a few of us went abroad for tx as, even with flights and accommodation, it's much cheaper than over here. if you would consider that there's plenty of us who can tell you about it.

GGx


----------



## indekiwi

VikkiLou, as GG says, a lot of singlies have gone abroad, but to be fair, the Wessex does have form with respect to a number of single women who post on FF - off the top of my head, CocoChanel and KyleCat both conceived their babies there, and they're both gorgeous kiddies.   


Welcome Liz!


----------



## Diesy

Am I too late to welcome newbies Piggles, Almonds, Natasza, Vikkilou & ElizabethDennis?  

Lots of info an new friends here on FF.  Don't be shy, before long you'll all be chatting about AF, peeing, sore (.)(.) and lots more interesting stuff ;-)  

Any brains exploded yet?  

Piggles I am so happy about your upcoming nuptials!  Awesome!!!

Diesy xx


----------



## MaxwellHiggins

Hello, Hello, Hello!

  

Very excited off  for my first try at IUI on 26th Feb. I try to stay calm most of the time and not be all   about it - but when it seems like I'm actually going to try I can't stop the glee...

Hope everyone else is doing well.

MH
x


----------



## MaxwellHiggins

Fraggles - really loved your post - perfectly described how I feel about the *whole* thing and going it alone. 

Many, many thanks!

MH
x


----------



## Almonds

Hi ladies,

I just wanted to report back that I got a BFP after my first medicated IUI !! So it can happen first time Woo-hoo!  

I can't quite believe it, it's all happening so fast...being 39 years old I thought it'd take me a few tries!

For anyone thinking of going abroad - I had it done at IVI in Valencia, Spain which I found really lovely to deal with. No waiting list, they get you started immediately (which was a bit of a shock as when I went to see them I was still only in the thinking about it stage!) And there's an acupuncturist & hypnotherapist in Valencia too linked to the clinic that I used. I don't know if they helped, but I believe they did! 

So now I'm in the next waiting stage....cross fingers & toes it sticks  

Good luck to all about to have IUI or in the 2WW xx


----------



## Diesy

OMGG Almonds, that's brilliant!!! V happy for you  Have you moved in to http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=282845.0 Go for it! I'm sure someone will be over to join you soon and lots of peeps pop in there to say hi. Oh brilliant! Glad you had such a nice experience too, ah, lovely 

Take it easy xx


----------



## Tommi

What fabulous news Almonds! Congratulations!    
Txx


----------



## Amittai

Almonds, i also wanted to say Huge Congrats, that is amazing, wow! must have meant to be, i can understand it feeling quite fast, i think we try to set our expections not too high for obvious reasons, so when it happens, it must feel like Chesington World of Adventures! ok, maybe lego land in this weather!
good luck with your 2ww, and very interresting about the clinic, I havent heard of that one, i would be eating oranges galore if i went there!

let us know how you get along, rock'n roll


----------



## Almonds

Thanks ladies!! It's so lovely to have this site to have others going through the same thing together.  

Thanks again for the link Diesy, I've moved over, looking forward to see you all there soon!!     xx


----------



## Diesy

Me too!!!!  See you there  xx


----------



## notamuggle

Fabulous news Almonds, hope I'm as lucky as you x


----------



## caramac

I just wanted to say hello to all the new posters and also how fantastic it is to see more and more women choosing this route to motherhood!


----------



## smilingandwishing

Hi there!

I second what Caramac says. It is truly wonderful that this community is growing and more women are able to follow this path.

Welcome everyone

Smiling xx

Ps.  Caramac - wonderful new photo of little one


----------



## caramac

Thanks SaW


----------



## TippyToes

Hello. My story is written in my signature. I am single now and dont want my dream of having a child destroyed. As you see by my age, i have til 42 for free nhs treatment and will need donor sperm. Does this come free on nhs? Lisa xx


----------



## indekiwi

Tippy, I'm so so sorry to read your signature and see how much sadness you are enduring right now.      Since single women only very rarely have treatment on the NHS, I don't know whether donor sperm would be free in your case.  The only person I know who had tx on the NHS with DS is Elpida.  She has just had twins so might not see your post so I will drop her a line and either find out for you or she may post herself.  


Welcome to the singles boards.  


A-Mx


----------



## TippyToes

Thank you indekiwi. That would be great if you could ask Elpida to give me information xx


----------



## greatgazza

oh Tippy, i'm so sorry to see what you are going through right now     i hope you have some support around you to help you through this difficult time.

GGxx


----------



## Diesy

Hi TippyToes,

Look after yourself, such a hard situation.   I had a similar experience, break-up then miscarriage.  Keep the good people in your life close and the ones that maybe don't understand so well a bit further away, although at this age now, more people generally understand.  

Look after yourself and keep posting, always someone here for a chat - Diesy


----------



## xanadu

Hi there

I'm brand new on here and last night started IVF, I'm excited and nervous and scared all at once! 
I'm also a bit confused about what all the abbreviations mean on here, is there somewhere where I can find it all out?

I've done a lot of reading about the IVF procedure but there are still areas that I'm a little unsure of. 
Are there any absolute must or must not dos that anyone can pass on to me.
I don't drink alcohol or caffeine, I have a relatively healthy diet (but struggling a bit, I eat mainly vegetarian) and exercising moderately. I was reading last night though about using cosmetics, perfume and dyeing your hair. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?  

Thanks muchly


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Xanadu, welcome! Will be back shortly with a link to the thread with all the abbreviations. 

Tippytoes, replying on behalf of Elpida, who says the following: "Pretty sure it was free. It was before I imported and don't recall paying for the sperm separately."[Note, her NHS cycle wasn't successful. Her reference to importing is with respect to later cycle(s) in the UK that she had privately when she imported DS from one of the three big sperm banks}. Hope this helps. ​ 

A-Mx


----------



## indekiwi

Xanadu, see below.  The only thing you're probably missing is folic acid. Avoid hot baths in your TWW and first trimester of pregnancy. No thoughts on perfume or cosmetics  but best not to dye your hair during the TWW and in pregnancy.

The following are basically a type of shorthand for some of the more regularly used words on​*FF*​. Here is a brief list of the most common ones:​2WW = 2 Week Wait (the nailbiting period between embryo transfer/ovulation/basting and pregnancy testing)​AF / Aunt Flo = Menstrual cycle​AFM = As for me​BFN /​= Big Fat Negative​BFP /​= Big Fat Positive​BMS = Baby Making Sex​DE = Donor Egg​DFET = Donor Frozen Embryo Transfer​DH = Dear/Darling Husband​DN = Dear Niece/ Nephew​DP = Dear Partner​DW = Dear Wife​DD = Dear Daughter​DS = Dear Son [on the singles board, this is often donor sperm]​DX =Diagnosis​D/R = Down Regulation (the first stage of long protocol IVF)​DPT or DPO = Days past transfer or Days past ovulation.​EC = Egg collection​ET = Embryo Transfer​FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer​FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormone​HPT = Home Pregnancy Test.​IF = Infertility​M/C = Miscarriage​OPK = Ovulation Predictor kit​OTD = Official test day​Pee stick = Home Pregnancy Test​PG = Pregnant​PM = personal message (sometimes IM is used)​PUPO = Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise (i.e. on the 2ww)​SA = Semen Analysis​TTC = Trying To Conceive​TX = Treatment​
Read more: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=190482.0#ixzz2NKWjph00​


----------



## Diesy

Welcome to the singles boards Xanadu and good luck with your ivf numero uno!!!  I'm mostly veggie, now have fish, I make smoothies with whey powder (Holland & Barrett).  I also hit the pineapple juice and brazil nuts on 2WW, M&S do nice choc coated ones but that would be leading you astray!  Some people say highlights are okay during pregnancy but I wouldn't do anything during 2WW.  

Sometimes I use DP for dear pooch


----------



## TippyToes

Thank you indekiwi for info. Will mention it all when i talk to my consultant on Wednesday . Im not sure what else to ask him though. Im seeing ivf counsellor this afternoon. Surely telling her about recent events will look bad. As couldn't cope last Thursday and took overdose. I did manage to get pregnant first time on ivf, so i can get pregnant now i know. Xxx


----------



## greatgazza

Tippy, have been 'talking' to you on your other thread      please go and see your GP to get some support, love.

GGx


----------



## TippyToes

greatgazza, i see councellor at 3 today and appointment booked for gp. On sleeping tablets at night and citalopram anti deppresants taking each day, which mum is in charge of xxx


----------



## ClareS66

Hello, this is my first post here (although I did have a bit of a chat last thursday.

I'm pretty new to all this and not really sure where to start.  I am 47 (nearly 4 and already have a son, who is 6 years old. I am looking into egg/sperm donation, or possibly co-parenting, but am so confused by all the different clinics available - I'm in London, so there is a lot to choose from!

I'm getting mixed reactions to my decision, with quite a few people saying I should think myself lucky to have one child already. I know this is true, but I can't get over wanting a second child, and feel that I have to try.

Does anyone have any advice as to which clinics are better with older women?


----------



## TippyToes

councellor appointment cancelled due to double booking. Im fine and have persuaded mum to go xxx


----------



## indieskies

Hi, I am new on here. I am on day 4 of 2ww. All the posts I've read so far are old ones, so not sure whether to post or not.


----------



## indieskies

Im seeing recent threads now 
I am on the 2ww and wishing I could fall asleep and wake up on test day.
Also the constipation from taking cyclogest is driving me mad! no-one warned me about this


----------



## Diesy

Hi Indieskies, great news, good luck with your 2WW.  Don't be shy, get over to the 2WW singles thread.  Good luck with the cyclogest  

Tippytoes, how are you?  I hope you are feeling a bit better.  You are really going through the mill.    It doesn't feel like it right now but things will improve, you will get through, look how far you've come already.      Keep in touch, wish there was more I could say to make you feel better.  Try lots of deep breathing when you get panicky, or just everyday as a means to cope.  Give yourself a bit of space to grieve, if the deep breathing makes you cry that's good to get it out.  Things are going to be up and down for a little while, just try to get some support systems in place to get you through.  

Diesy


----------



## CherieJ

Hi,

I am so excited and awed at the possibility of becoming a mother.  I am in my late 40s, and never thought that I would have a family.  Now...! 

I am from Canada, and am looking at countries that do embryo donation (fresh egg + donor sperm) for women 50 years and plus, and am coming up with Cyprus as an option.  

Anyone else on this journey at this time?  I would love to hear from you!

Thanks!

Cherie


----------



## Tommi

Just dropping by to say hi to the new ladies! Good luck on your journeys     
Txx


----------



## Diesy

Hi Cherie, welcome! I had a friend who went to Cyprus, it's quite cost effective and they do an all in deal at Dogus, hotel, transfers...sperm. Lol a bit of a different package deal to your usual all inclusive break. I think Arkay went there, she's through in bumps so that went well! You can post in Single Abroadies, lots of singles get treatment abroad.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=284039.130

Diesy


----------



## xanadu

Thank you indekiwi for the abbreviations and welcome, very much appreciated. 
And thank you Diesy for the heads up on food ideas, so pineapple juice? Great ill get some on my way home from the clinic tomorrow. 
Going for IUI tomorrow, converted from IVF as poor response. Fingers crossed!


----------



## Diesy

Good luck Xanadu! Try not to do much lifting after IUI and on 2WW, it's supposed to help. As well as getting your feet up and relaxing more than usual. That's what they say anyway. Try out the 2WW thread, it's a great place to get neurotic and be supported 

    ​


----------



## TippyToes

Im coping bit better thanks. Just constantly sleeping xxx


----------



## CherieJ

Thanks, Diesy!  I'll check into their deals!

Hope all is well with you!  

Cherie


----------



## bibsncribs

Hi all  

I'm new and thought I would post to introduce myself.  I am still a bit confused over all the shortening of names but I'm sure I will get the hang of it.

I'm 37 and already a mother of a wonderful boy from a previous relationship.  I'd love to give him a sibling but I'm fed up of waiting on a man that I will fall in love with and then there is the whole spending years as a couple etc before having kids.    This is led me to think that DS (see getting the hang of it  ) is the only way to go.  

I have lots and lots of questions but the first I have come up against is how do you tell people?  I don't want to tell anyone, my family are really, really old fashioned in that way and believe that if you have issues conceiving as a married couple then sure IVF or IUI or whatever is for you but a single woman getting herself pregnant is wrong.  

Also if you don't tell anyone what do you tell any child(ren) born from DS etc.?  Has anyone been through that and got any advice? 

Thanks for reading.


----------



## cymbeline

Hi Bibsncribs,
                  Hello and welcome. I am in a similar position to you having one DS (in this case Darling Son!). I wish I'd tried for a sibling for him much sooner, not realising what happens to fertility - especially when I had had an unplanned pregnancy before.

Anyway I have managed to have three cycles of IVF abroad with no-one apart from a couple of close friends knowing. It is possible to hide it - although I have put on weight, had three negatives and been unable to publicly grieve etc etc. 

I am just about to embark on a 4th cycle at a new clinic for me in Athens. I wouldn't tell a child about donor eggs but I will say about the sperm. My little boy doesn't see his dad, not my choice, so I can't see that it will be very different, but its up to you and everyone is an individual. 
I am normally very open so the secrecy especially with my sister and mother is a huge challenge but I cant bear their disapproval. They think women over 40 are too old , but I have to be honest there are loads of single women becoming mums so I haven't felt any of my couple friends would disapprove - I just find it a bit embarrassing I couldn't find anyone else!

Take care and good luck to you and everyone else  x


----------



## greatgazza

Hi bibsnscribs and welcome, hi cymbeline

sounds like you are in similar situations so will be able to support each other and we can answer any other questions you have.  Just wondered what your plans were for telling people - friends and family - when (yes, when!  ) you get your bfp? or will you tell them then as it's a fait accompli and you just don't want their disapproval while you're going through treatment?

GGx


----------



## SophieA

Hi fellow single ladies. I joined the forum yesterday evening after stumbling upon this site via an old Guardian article online - I think I googled "single mum sperm donor baby uk" as wanted to read of other British experiences. Good old google! It's really nice to have found you all. 

I am not sure how often I will check in / post / visit, but my story is probably a familiar one here - turned 41 in January, hail from a very fertile family, but heartbreak after heartbreak from men since finishing my PhD at age 26 and joining "the real world", I find myself here. I had my epiphany in February this year, when it suddenly occurred to me that I have a great life but every period of protracted unhappiness for me as an adult has involved a man. All this time I've been searching for my OH, my life partner, my soulmate as I am from a traditional family (mum and dad's first and only marriage and still married) and thought that is what should be aimed for. But I now believe otherwise and made the decision that I am calling off the futile future husband search and heading down a sperm donor route. I could write a thesis about what I think of modern men but will refrain. I am trying to be neutral about them, tempting though it is to bash them  !

Never for a moment did I think that I would end up here - i.e. not married no kids (except for a weird experience at age 15 that I can only describe as a premonition, looking back - it wasn't a sleep dream nor a lucid dream - I was wide awake one daytime when I had a strong vision of myself as a sorted grown up woman with a baby son but knew for sure / felt very strongly there was no daddy for my baby). 

Where I am currently: GP (male / middle aged) VERY supportive - I'm lucky - has referred my to local gynae unit. Wrote to them on the spot for me, three weeks back.  Just back home to Swindon after bank hol break today and overjoyed that my NHS outpatient appt has come through, for 21st May. No other action taken besides that, and now joining this great forum.

So hello and thank you all in advance for your support - and please wish me luck for my journey. 

Sophia xx


----------



## bibsncribs

cymbeline - my DS sees his dad regularly and they share a close bond.  Obviously any children I conceive with a donor would not have that advantage which is a huge disadvantage doing it this way.  

My reasons for not telling are:-

1. My family being so outspoken on the matter, I accept their opinion but they wouldn't accept mine.  They would accept any children though.  Perhaps I am being unkind in saying that about them but my sisters friend slept with an ex to get pregnant on purpose and they really disapproved of that. 
2. I don't need friends/colleagues to talk behind my back about it which is of course what happens when people are faced with something that isn't the norm.  
3. I think I will tell any future child because I don't want them to suffer ridicule from others if they then mention it themselves.


----------



## indekiwi

Just dropping by to say   to all the newbies who have recently posted on this thread.  Cymbeline, Bibsncribs, if of interest, there are two threads under the main donor conception board - one for telling, one for not telling.  You might find them useful.  I've always been very open about going it alone, but it's not for everyone and you need to do whatever feels most comfortable / right for you.  Sophia, Swindon is about half an hour from where I live by train, so if you fancy meeting up at some stage, drop me a PM (personal message).   


A-Mx


----------



## greatgazza

hi SophieA, i know you're not alone in being a bit surprised to find yourself on here. i think many of us on here, certainly myself included, expected to be married with 2.4 children and a white picket fence some time ago. but i'm pretty sure none of regret making the decision to go it alone. glad you've got a supportive gp, that really can help.

sorry, bibs (and cymbeline) i'm not questioning your decision 'not to tell' that's entirely up to you, i'm just wondering what you will tell family/friends about how you came to be pregnant. as in would you say you'd had a one night stand or something? or once you are pregnant will you tell them how you went about it but you'd just rather not tell them now? it's all totally your choice what you do, guess it's just helpful to have thought through every possible scenario that may come up and how you might deal with it.

GGx


----------



## caramac

Hello new posters!

SophieA - just out of interest - what is this appointment for that is in May? Are you hoping to get treatment on the NHS and is this what that apt is for? It is very rare for single women to get funded for treatment and I would hate for you to waste the next few months waiting for an apt that won't get you anywhere. Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick here!


----------



## cymbeline

Thank-you for the welcomes. Caramac (love the photo too!) I recognise your name from another thread perhaps! - it makes me hungry and I have started my detox diet today!!

Of course I will tell people how I got pregnant if I ever do - it's just to difficult to explain and you feel sorry for those that do know who have to find the right words after a BFN.I told several people at work after I had a BFP that lasted 2 days - and then it was harder to see everyone and not get upset when it all disappeared. I find it easier to be stron if no-one knows. I am a midwife so it's hard in this job anyway, but also I work with many child less women so it's awkward with them too.Also a couple of friends had secondary infertility too and have given up now so I don't want to mess with their heads either. I've found the people I have met on FF have understood in a way no-one else can 
I am not sure what I would tell a child - I have always been 100% honest with my little boy so I wouldn't want to lie but I'd hate a non genetic child to feel less loved than a biological one.Those threads sound interesting - I will have a look.

It's all very difficult but I am sure a mother kows what to do for an individual child when the time comes.I would be honest about the sperm donor -no one would believe I had a one night stand at my age especially after my first pregnancy was a chance as I was abroad working with RAF and only was in UK one night!! 

Good Luck with your journeys everyone xx  

Those other threads sound interesting.
PS I would agree with the last post - NHS hospital left me in tears at appointment - and a female obstetrician too! So upsetting.


----------



## caramac

Thank you cymbeline! I wish that I hadn't told everyone my plans before I started tx as in hindsight it was hard having everyone know your every move and things like when you should have got a result by. It was impossible to just get on with it and with my two negatives I would have preferred to have just kept them to myself really rather than have to announce the result to everyone who knew what I was doing. In a similar vein with my BFP people knew within days of the result and it all felt so very fragile at that stage. I wished I could have done as most couples do and held off telling people until a scan, as I almost felt like a fraud because it was so early and I knew that something could go wrong at any stage.

I remember nipping to buy a second pregnancy test after getting my BFP and bumping into a close friend in the supermarket aisle and there was no denying what I was there for...so no chance of keeping the news to myself. If I had my time over again I'd definitely have held back a bit more until I had some definite news to share.


----------



## Tommi

Just popping in to say hi to the new ladies! Good luck!   

Cymbeline - lovely to see you on here. Good luck for your next cycle! Are you happy with your Athens clinic?

Txx


----------



## cymbeline

Hi Tommi, oh my goodness - fingers crossed for you - was that at Serum? 

So far I have been very happy with Serum but we shall see when I go back for the actual ET. Penny is as lovely as everyone said she was! 

I am finding all the numerous medications hard to take but I much prefer not being on the pill as the last times I would have been alot heavier by now. I am also nervous not knowing when I fly ( as I am not telling people, ) and Penny hasn't revealed the donor yet. I am going to London to have lipids tomorrow and a scan to check lining on Friday - it all adds up!

I am really hoping for good news from you and love to everyone else too.  It hardly feels real I am doing this again but after the first clexane last night I know I am on my way! x


----------



## Tommi

Hi Cymbeline

I had my FET at my UK clinic as Penny thought it was worth a try after the hysto and also with the additional help of prednisolone and clexane. How are you finding the clexane? It seems to really sting me for a while. And the bruises are spectacular now which I guess just shows it's working. I can't bring myself to inject below my tummy button so I have a very colourful midriff at the moment! I didn't manage to get the intralipids organised but I am taking more fish oils. If it doesn't work I'll be back to Serum! Penny sent me a lovely good luck email. She really does care about making babies rather than money I think.

Sending you so many positive vibes for your cycle! 



Txx


----------



## BroodyChick

Hi Sophia!

Welcome, you will find lots of useful info here!
If you have any questions about sourcing your own sperm donor/co-parent, please PM me. Happy to work with you on your thesis  

Hope your first clinic appointment goes well.
Will you try with own eggs or DE?
xx


----------



## SophieA

Hi BC, thanks for your reply.  First some good news - my 1st NHS appointment has been brought forward to next week. I have no idea what it will involve, but guess it's an options sort of discussion. I will be trying with my own eggs. I will certainly bear your offer of an alternative route to a sperm donor in mind   xx


----------



## cymbeline

Hi Sophie, 
              My first NHS appointment as a referral for sperm donation as a single woman involved a discussion of the drawbacks of my age (then almost 42) and then arranging for blood tests to see what my hormone levels were like. Unfortunately my FSH was considered too high so then I went private to get my AMH level done. I also had an NHS hysterosalpingogram performed as a day case to check out the uterus and tubes.

I have to be honest the service wasn't great (see my comment in my signature!) especially when they called out "where's your partner?" ! You have to become thick skinned fairly early on in this business but that's why FF is a life saviour!

Good Luck


----------



## SophieA

Thank you for the kind words Cymbeline and the heads up on what to expect potentially at the first appointment. My GP is very supportive with a particular interest in fertility medicine practice. If I get short shift from the hospital I will go back to him. He said to book myself in whenever I need to, with him. I am staying upbeat for now. You never know of course but I think that viewing the glass as at least half full is the way forward for me ATM  . 

I realise I that the NHS is likely to be of limited use to me, due to potential rationing and the unfair age cut-offs for fertility treatment. (IMO, as long as you are still menstruating you should be equally entitled to treatment regardless of age, at least for your first attempt at motherhood.) Lets see what happens... Xx


----------



## natclare

Hello just swinging by to say hello to the newbies! Sophia, obviously well worth you investigating initial tests via the NHS but I think you will find that 99% of single ladies on here had private treatment. Myself, I never even looked into NHS as it never seemed worth it apart from a few blood tests.
Best wishes to all x


----------



## Lillia

Hello everyone!

I am planning to start IUI using donor sperm later in the year (once I have lost 1-2 stone in weight).

I decided to have an appointment with the gynaecologist this week in preparation for the treatment, because I have had previous surgery for PCOS and endometriosis, and I wanted to know if IUI was the best treatment for me. I know that prior to having surgery in November I was not ovulating (2 low day 21 progesterone tests), and since surgery I have been on the pill, so I don't know if I am now. The consultant said that as I have never tried to conceive with a partner before I would not be considered infertile and he wold therefore not recommend IVF.

I have had blood tests which show that I am definitely resistant to insulin, which may be affecting my ovulation. The consultant has started me on metformin and told me to stop the pill in 1 months time when the metformin should be having an effect. The consultant said that I can then check if I am ovulating using a predictor kit.

I would really like any of your thoughts about whether stimulated or unstimulated IUI would be the best way forward. The consultant said it is entirely my decision. Stimulated cycles have a better success rate (20% compared to 15% unstimulated), but they are also significantly more expensive. I can see that if I am not ovulating I will not have the choice of an unstimulated cycle, and it would be more predictable if I am having irregular cycles to use drugs. I'm just wondering if there is more to it than this!

Sorry for the essay!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
xx


----------



## Storygirl

Hi All, 

I'm relatively new on FF and have only posted on the Serum thread so far. Had DD transfer 9 days ago and found out yesterday it worked! Am having some brown spotting but trying not to be too anxious.

Am also really annoying myself because while I was devastated yesterday when the spotting began and I thought it hadn't worked, couldn't sleep last night for sheer terror! Worried about so many things but mostly finances - I have lovely family and friends but unfortunately not living particularly near and all very busy, and a brief look at the cost of full-time childcare made me feel sick! Feel so ungrateful to feel like this when I know I've been so lucky. 

I guess one step at a time... But for now, just thought I'd pop in and say hello!

Storygirl xx


----------



## indekiwi

Lillia, StoryGirl, welcome to the Singles board!


Lillia, there is lots of debate over stimulated vs unstimulated fertility treatment.  Some women, despite showing no sign of having infertility problems, can respond particularly poorly to meds and there is also some thought that egg quality can be compromised by fertility drugs (particularly in the quantities typically used for IVF).  As you say, if you know that you need drugs to ovulate, then I guess you don't have much choice - although once you have lost the weight you refer to maybe ovulation will return?  I always had medicated IUI, which included regular scanning, and conceived my son on my fourth attempt.  However, both Grace and Coco Chanel (and I think Lulumead?) were successful with unstimulated IUI - the latter two after being unsuccessful with IVF.  I almost think that it doesn't matter so much whether medicated or not, so long as you are regularly scanned to ensure you have a good, even lining and at least one follicle developing to a viable size.  I am also a big fan of having a shot to trigger ovulation and therefore being able to correctly time subsequent insemination.  That would at least keep the price down too.  Hope this helps.  You may want to refer to the IUI thread both on the general and the singles boards as there is lots of good information detailed there.  You should also get some good support on the singles IUI thread.   


Storygirl, congratulations on your   !  Serum is certainly a popular clinic for single abroadies, including Roo67 and Elpida, who have triplets and twins respectively.   Brown blood is old blood so nothing to worry about (needless to say, I did worry when it happened to me with my second pregnancy!).  It might be worth joining Tommi on the singles waiting for first scan thread on the bumps and babes side of the singles board - come to think of it, I think she went to Serum too?!  There is also a thread that side of the board concerning single women's finances, where there are some good tips that might provide comfort at a time you will naturally worry about anything and everything to do with going it alone.   Hope this helps.

A-Mx


----------



## agate

Lillia said:


> I would really like any of your thoughts about whether stimulated or unstimulated IUI would be the best way forward. The consultant said it is entirely my decision. Stimulated cycles have a better success rate (20% compared to 15% unstimulated), but they are also significantly more expensive. I can see that if I am not ovulating I will not have the choice of an unstimulated cycle, and it would be more predictable if I am having irregular cycles to use drugs. I'm just wondering if there is more to it than this!


for IUI, unless your cycles are very predictable, stimulated probably gives you a better chance of success, and if you are PCOS with IR, it is rare for metformin to be able to give you clockwork cycles, just better than they were without it.

storygirl: please try not to worry about the spotting. its extremely common especially if you are on something like aspirin or clexane. if it turns red, you may be told to stop your aspirin (usually not your clexane). most of the time, spotting is nothing sinister, and even heavy red bleeding often happens without causing a problem to the pregnancy.


----------



## Lillia

Thank you for your responses  

Lots to think about!!
xx


----------



## Storygirl

Thanks, A-M, for your answer. I'll look where you suggest. Love to all.

xxx


----------



## Storygirl

And thanks Agate too! I've just seen your reply!

xxx


----------



## Diesy

Hi *Stroygirl* &* Lillia* - welcome 

I don't need to say anything else, Indie has spoken my words already but SO, SO much more eloquently  *Indie * 

Congrats *Storygirl*! Brilliant! Go join here - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=282845.230 *Tommi* and the cow need some company 

Diesy


----------



## sunshine82

Hi Ladies!  

I am 31, single, and thinking about IUI but haven't chosen a clinic yet and am also thinking about going abroad for treatment.  I'd love to chat with anyone who is in the same boat as me, about to start IUI or recently had IUI, and anyone who has any advice for me or can help me out with choosing a clinic.  I've done lots of research already but would love to actually talk to someone who has recently been through it.  Please send me a pm


----------



## notamuggle

Hi sunshine82,

I'm 34 and in the same position. I've had some initiA tests done and am waiting for the results.

I'm happy to talk if you want to PM me x


----------



## Catcuddler

Hello Ladies

I am new to this thread and wondered if anyone could give me some advice/opinions pls........................I have woke up this morning feeling really scared of what is going to entail to be a single mum and alone bringing up a child.  Help pls.

Catxx


----------



## Storygirl

I'm with you! It's funny, you think it all through and are sure you've thought of every angle, then suddenly the reality hits you. But I'm sure this is the case for anyone contemplating this huge step. I'm really amazed looking backat this whole IVF journey how at every stage, I've had major major doubts and cold feet and just found myself booking the next stage anyway, even if I can't think of a single good reason for doing it. Ultimately, I think that has to tell me something - head definitely says daft idea, but body seems to pick up the phone / send the email / do whatever anyway! So I guess that's how it will carry on...

You're definitely not alone, though, take heart!My feet would make a snowman's look toasty on some days!

Storygirl xxx


----------



## Diesy

Welcome to the singles board, Cat & Sunshine - lots of us have done IUI's here and abroad so get reading.  The treatment diaries section is really informative or also check through the threads on this board.  If you are thinking of going abroad there are also threads per location.  Otherwise drop by Calling all the single women for a chat  

Diesy


----------



## Maximouse

Catcuddler if you need to have a chat, PM me. And you know we're all here for you on the Procreatec thread x


----------



## indekiwi

Dropping in to say hello to Sunshine and Catcuddler and welcome to the singles board.  


Catcuddler, yes, it can be daunting before you bite the bullet and simply turn into the road that says single mummies to be, step this way....If it gives any comfort at all, the other side of this board is full of single mummies, most of whom were full of self doubt along the way - they are now not only surviving but flourishing as single parents (bar the sleep deprivation   ). Several became parents for the first time in their 40s, and some of them have gone on to have a second since then....so it's possible, doable, and ultimately, an amazing experience that you can thrive upon.    


A-Mx


----------



## Fraggles

Catcuddler  I travelled to athens for my first iui and the night before I truly thought about getting a taxi to the airport and getting the heck out of there. Fortunately, that was my biggest hurdle. I had IVF and now have a Darling Little Boy. I am in my 40's but the sleep deprivation doesn't matter, yes I may be tired, but I never forget how truly fortunate and grateful I am that he is in my life. I also remember all those who would trade places with me if they could.

Sunshine, Catcuddler welcome to the singles board. There are many before you who will be more than happy to share their stories and offer help should you want some on the way. 

xxxx


----------



## eilero

Hello Ladies!

I hope to start my journey to being a mum in 2014-2015 ( yeah, a long way away, I know  ). ATM, I'm compiling all the information I can about different clinics and I am monitoring my cycle closely.
I originally wanted to go to the LWC but now I'm more and more interested in going to Belgium or Denmark.

Thanks for having me


----------



## Diesy

Hi Eilero, welcome to the singles board!  I think there is probably enough to read until 2014 at least!  Seems a long way away now but it will fly in.  

Diesy


----------



## Tommi

Welcome, new ladies!  
Txx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Eilero and Crimson D, welcome to the singles board!  Please post wherever you feel comfortable.  


Crimson D, there is a thread on the other side of the board specifically aimed at women who already have one child and who are hoping to have a second (or third) child.  


Eilero, a lot of people have posted on these threads for well over a year until they were ready to TTC (try to conceive).  Hope you find all the information you're seeking, but if not, ask away.


A-Mx


----------



## snicks

Hi
Seems I posted in the wrong place first time round. I have just had my third unsuccessful IUI donor cycle and thought maybe it was time I got in touch with others in similar place!! I'm 39 and single.


----------



## Kelz33

Hi There Everyone,

How is everyone doing ?
I've just started the journey on IUI  it's all very daunting but i'm really excited......all i've ever wanted is to be a mum and don't want to miss out just because i haven't met my life partner yet.
I've been single now for a few years and after having various issues with gynie troubles my consultant suggested i venture down the road of IUI on my own (as at 34 i'm not getting any younger or so he said ha ha)
My letter has been sent to my local fertility clinic in Aberdeen and i'm just waiting on my first appointment which i presume will be with a counsellor ?
Any advice on what i should and shouldn't be doing would be greatly appreciated.
Also what are the time lines from being referred to actual transfer day ?

You have all really inspired me after reading all your threads......

Thanks
Kelly x


----------



## Diesy

Hi Snicks, sorry to hear about your 3rd cycle.    Defo in the right place now, lots of successes here, hope to be adding you to them soon.  There's an IUI and IVF thread to check out or join us on Calling all the single women, general thread for anything.

Hi Kelz, yay another Scottish chick!  There are a few of us here and even a couple up north.  Feel free to bop your consultant over the head with something for me, I'm 42 and still in the game.  Remember you can go anywhere you like for fertility treatment and you can self refer.  

So, welcome to the singles thread, lots to read, we're a chatty lot  

Diesy


----------



## Mada1

Hi everybody,
I am brand new to this topic and trying to make up my mind about options I have as a single woman willing to become a mother. 
I started googling and had a look at some clinic websites and finally found you FFF ( Fantastic Fertility Friends).
Time is running out for me , I am 37  so the sooner I start....
I realised that picking the clinic is the main decision but I would like to verify with you first if I got all  possible options, considering that I will need a donor and that I am not aware of any medical issue I may have ...

1) self insemination with online found donor/ clinic support (?)  ...10 % success 
2) IUI with or without previous drug treatment    ........................17% to 25% success
3) IVF      ......................................................................................40% success

I averaged numbers I found online so I don't expect them to be exact but could you please advsie if this is the complete range of treatments and if my % are moreor less realistic?

Thanks for your help


----------



## agate

you probably need some tests run before you can be sure what your options are:

to use IUI or insemination its best to be sure your tubes are open before you spend time doing that - so something an HSG to check your tubes is a good idea.

to use insemination you need to be sure you are ovulating - so you'd need your day 1-3 bloods done and a progesterone blood test 7 days after you think you have ovulated (day 21 on a 28 day cycle)

you will probably also want an ultrasound scan just to check that you have a typical number of follicles for your age - in case its reduced and you need to be thinking about IVF sooner.... but your odds might be a bit optimistic - maybe look at the clinic you are thinking of going to on hfea.gov.uk and see what their actual stats are for your age.


----------



## Mada1

Hi Agate,

thank you very much for your answer.  I am not in the UK, I am in Ireland and so far I have checked Spanish and Danish websites because they ofer anonymous donors (which I consider the only feasible option for me) and because they seem cheaper , at first sigth. 
If I am not wrong in Spain you cannot pick the donor that will be choosen by the clinic and being a foreigner single mother I believe it would be nice to give the baby the chance to have an Irish look . if it was for me cleraly I wouldn't care but I believe that migth make his/her life easier growing up here.

You suggested a tons of pre-exams that are not mentioned in the webstes I visited (i.e. Eugin) , is it possible that they peform those  test during the first visit? 

Thanks,


----------



## agate

you will need to check what tests the clinic you are looking at do - I don't know if they all check the basics or not.
in denmark some clinics will give you the option of choosing the donor from a list.  in spain the clinic are responsible for choosing a donor for you - but they ought to be choosing someone who looks like you/what you ask for.


----------



## Mada1

Hi Agate,

as you suggested I went back to clinics websites looking for test performed and prices. Even though different clinics offer different tests it seems that all of them during the first visit. some of them doing HMA ( or AMH?) instead of the 2 blood test for hormones at the beginning and half way of the cycle.

in eugin websites everything seems so simple...I asked themf for further info and they already got back to me 

After surfing the web and reading  all this new stuff all day I have a terrible headache. will stp here for today and tomorrow will start contacting danish ckinics. I also found 2 irish clinics that help single woman too, but for some reason I don;t feel I can trust them...

Thanks fo rthe info,


----------



## agate

amh test gives an indication of what you might see if you did an ultrasound- high amh means lots of follicles.  low amh means not so many.  at a normal amh you tend to get reliable, regular ovulation.  at a very low amh, cycles may tend to be short and ovulation not always great.  at a v high amh, cycles may tend to be longer/erratic or there may be no ovulation.

but a scan gives a slightly more accurate indication of how busy your ovaries are, and a blood test for progesterone after ovulation will confirm whether you definitely did ovulate.

i'd expect that big commercial clinics who do a lot of cycles should have quite good info packs ready to answer all your questions


----------



## Mada1

agate said:


> amh test gives an indication of what you might see if you did an ultrasound- high amh means lots of follicles. low amh means not so many. at a normal amh you tend to get reliable, regular ovulation. at a very low amh, cycles may tend to be short and ovulation not always great. at a v high amh, cycles may tend to be longer/erratic or there may be no ovulation.
> 
> but a scan gives a slightly more accurate indication of how busy your ovaries are, and a blood test for progesterone after ovulation will confirm whether you definitely did ovulate.
> 
> i'd expect that big commercial clinics who do a lot of cycles should have quite good info packs ready to answer all your questions


Hi Agate,

I amreading as much as possible but I am struggling a bit. Mainly because I have just started this journey but I also believe they provide quite good info on procedures but less on the bacground. I have read your long post on serum that you linked in your signature, great info there with lots of details that you can get only with experience. it helps a lot !

so BASIC test are: 
1) AMH: follicle quantity estimation ( any day of the cylcle)
_*no info on quality of follicles and actual ovulation, correct?*_

2) SCAN: quantity and quality of follicles ( specific day of the cycle?)
_*indication on the quality of follicles but not on ovulation, correct?
does it also clarify if tubes are normal or isanother test needed to determine that?*_

3) hormone lvl at day 1-3 and day 21 : actual confirmation of ovulation
*...If ovulation is confirmed by this analysis do I still need ot investigate follicles or can I assume everything should be ok with them? maybe follcle inestigation is important to assess how many I have left?*

Thnaks for your advise,


----------



## agate

AMH tells you how active your ovaries are now (and so does a regular ultrasound scan).  It also gives a hint about whether you are likely to respond well to IVF or whether you are likely to over respond or have poor response - and it gives you a clue about whether you can expect to be producing eggs for many years to come or not.  It can't tell you anything about your egg quality though, or confirm that you are definitely ovulating - it just gives clues about the egg numbers you have left.

If your FSH (day 1-3) is high, you MIGHT have reduced quality and you MIGHT struggle to respond to IVF, but its not certain.

If your LH (day 1-3) is high and you have high numbers of follicles/high AMH, you MIGHT tend towards PCOS, and your chances of conception might be better if you used treatments for PCOS like low GI diet and metformin.

If your 7 days post ovulation progsterone test is nice and high, then you know you are ovulating.

A regular ultrasound scan can tell you whether you are still producing lots of follicles or your ovaries are starting to wind down, and in the first half of your cycle it shows you whether you have follicles gearing up for ovulation and in the second half whether it looks like you did ovulate.

Your tubes won't show up on an ordinary ultrasound unless they are damaged so have swollen up with fluid.  Healthy tubes have to be filled with fluid by the doc to show up on a scan - so you either have an HSG (an X ray) or a HyCosy (a special scan).

An ordinary ultrasound can also check that your uterus looks roughly ok - but it can't give thorough detail so there are other types of scan to do that - but if you are just looking at trying IUI you probably don't want to start doing detailed investigations of the uterus - that's something you'd probably move on to if your IUIs don't work (hysteroscopy or SIS/aquascan/saline scan).

None of these tests can tell you if your egg quality is ok.  You can mainly only find that out by actually having a baby (or sometimes in IVF the embryologist can get a clue there is a problem by looking at the eggs or doing extra tests like PGD on the embryos).

If you are planning either insemination at home or IUI - then I think you would try to:

- do basic hormone bloods (FSH, LH, prolactin and estrodiol on day 1-3) as well as progesterone 7 days post ovulation
- check your tubes with HSG or HyCoSy
- probably do a scan to have a quick look at the ovaries to make sure they are still busy and check your uterus looks ok - personally I think that's probably a better investment than doing an AMH test, but if its too difficult to arrange, then you could maybe do AMH instead, but I think that gives less information than doing a scan.

if your tubes are blocked - then you go straight on to IVF and don't waste time on IUI
if you aren't ovulating - then you don't waste time on unmedicated treatments like home insemination
if something is very abnormal in the ovaries or the uterus, at least you know you have to deal with that first and don't waste time on IUIs etc

hope this helps


----------



## Mada1

Dear Agate,


thanks a million for all the details  . Really greatfull for your  help. 
My idea now is to talk to my GP, arrange for the 2 hormone tests to be performed asap here and then go trough the other tests during the first visit at the selected clinic when making the final decision about the technique.

And that's where I am now: I don't have money nor time to waste  (37 to 38 changes stats dramatically). So my first guess is that going straigth for IVF wil give me best chances. Also I migth not be able to afford it in terms of money , eggs, mood after going trough few IUIs all alone.
So  assuming the IVF is feasible for me ( fingers crossed) is there any reason why i should go for IUI? 
if there is already a post on this could you please redirect me to it as I cannot find it?

Thanks,


----------



## agate

unless you have blocked tubes, then its always worth doing 1-3 cycles of IUI in case it works - it is a lot cheaper and less arduous than IVF and you don't know unless you try it.


----------



## Mada1

Dear Agate,

realised I am at day cd12 so started measuring basal temp and bought an ovulation test, not ovoluting yet. will try again tomorrow.

Danish clinics are startiong to answer and one of them already sent me donor list with baby pictures  That made me braver so checked in cryos websites for home insemination (wihch I discarded in first place)  yep, the idea to give it a first fast cheap try with home insemination has now put a smile upon my face... If everything goes rigth with ovulation test this week I will seriously consider it.


----------



## Kiwipom

Hi,

First time here & hoping to find advice, support and understanding from other singles.  I'm 37 and looking for advice/recommendations for sperm donation with IUI, or sperm and egg donation with IVF.  I'm 37 and have an AMH of 0.0

Inspite of this I conceived easily last year, though lost my son at 28 days old from Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia (CDH).  The Prince turned back into a frog so I'm going it alone.  Given my previous success, I'm considering sperm/IUI, but perhaps realistically (& financially) I should go straight to sperm/eggs/IVF.

There are so many clinics out there that any advice, places to go, places or situations to avoid would be fantastic.

KP


----------



## indekiwi

Welcome Kiwipom,


I'm so sorry to read about your son - no words can comfort, but massive     to you on your loss.  


It would be useful to talk to a consultant or two before deciding which course of action (IUI or IVF) to pursue.  Using DE will, I suspect, provide a much bigger chance of success, but is certainly pricier and requires you to get your head around the lack of genetic connection to your child (though on that note it's worth having a look at the threads covering epigenetics on the main donor board).  Many women on the singles board have gone abroad as donors tend to be younger and prices lower, with the trade off being that the donors are almost always anonymous and you get very little information about them.  I have one child through DIUI (conceived at 3, and two through IVF using donor eggs and sperm after my ovarian reserve was discovered to have gone MIA.  All three children were conceived in the UK and I can recommend both London Fertility Centre and CRM London without hesitation.  Abroad, Serum in Greece has won lots of friends as Penny has helped many to conceive and carry their babies where others had failed.  I guess it really depends on what is important to you - trying with your own eggs / anonymity vs ID release donors / egg share vs altruistic vs paid donors / cost / convenience of location / type of service, etc.  For basic information, and if you are based in London, attending a free seminar at LWC, CRM London or LFC wouldn't be a bad start to things.  I am sure there are clinics outside of London which offer the same type of seminars - where are you based.


A-Mx


----------



## agate

just to mention that the amount of info you can get where anon donors overseas are used varies a lot between clinics.  e.g. in a lot of clinics in spain you get almost no information (e.g. just blood group), but in one or two you can get a lot more.  At serum in greece, you can get a lot of info (all non-identifying though)... and worth bearing in mind that with genetic testing getting cheaper and more developed all the time, by the time your LO is old enough to be interested you would probably be able to test your LOs genes and get heaps of info that would tell them about their genetic heritage without needing to know anything about the donors.

about your poor lost baby - is there a chance that the CDH would be inherited by another baby if you used your OE?

xx


----------



## Kiwipom

Hi,

Thanks so much the messages.  I hope this reply goes to the right place as I can't fathom the forum (my first try at any online forums and to be fair its late in NZ!) and didn't want to appear rude by throwing a generic 'thank-you' out into the ether.

Has anyone else had low/zero AMH?  I still find that so confusing as I got told mine was 0.0, very unlikely to conceive spontaneously and ended up pregnant without really trying.  Added complication is that I'm living in NZ - my specialist here has said low chance of another spontaneous pregnancy (but I struggle to trust after last time...).  Both options involve going overseas, or wait as I get older (closer to 39) by the time I get to the top of the sperm donation queue in NZ for IUI.  The cost is an issue but I'm weighing up trying IUI knowing its unlikely to work, versus coughing up for IVF with egg donor which ultimately  has best chance of success.

Oddly I'm a geneticist who has no issue if my child isn't genetically mine!  So at least I've resolved that one  

It's so good to read peoples stories and know that it can work!!  Thank heavens for a singles forum too so I don't feel like a total freak.  People can be horribly judging.

Oddly CDH hasn't got a proven genetic basis, but been given a 1 in 100 chance for future pregnancies.  Potential other lung genetic condition remains a mystery as neither NZ or UK will pay for the testing - costly and chances of recurrence low as will be with a different 'partner' - still not helpful or encouraging to be left in the dark with a proven CDH condition already...

So unhelpfully I live in NZ but realistically travel is my main option so homeland (UK) seems sensible or anywhere local ISP to that!  San Diego is the other option.

Any thoughts, ideas would be great and I wish you the very best too.

KP


----------



## indekiwi

KP, I've PM'd you lovely.   


A-Mx


----------



## lucyloo-lancs

Hi,

Just stumbled on this site as I was researching. I'm 30 and have a son from a previous relationship. I've been single pretty much since he was born - had a couple of flings and was in a relationship with someone for about 18 months which ended last Summer. I had already made a decision a couple of years ago to do it alone if the right person hadn't come along by the time I was 32. However personal circumstances with me and my son have brought it forward - what's a year! I've bee on the pill since my son was born and even though not in a relationship it helps with period pains etc etc.

Anyway, I've about 2 weeks left on the last pack I intend to take before going down this route. Obviously my periods need to come back (i'm on cerazette so not had one for quite a while) and I need to figure out my cycle but hoping to go down donor route later this year/early next.

So glad to stumble across this site and from reading a small part of the threads, it looks like i need to do more research about clinics and donors in uk and abroad.  I just assumed I'd go to one near me - so been looking at Manchester, Liverpool & Leeds areas 

But anyway - just wanted to pop on and say hi


----------



## Diesy

Hi Lucyloo-lancs, welcome to the madness fun!  Lots of info for you here, lots to take in and get your head round. Well worth reading back old threads too, as well at treatment diaries off the main forum. It's exciting and there is always someone around - brilliant site FF, glad you found it/us.

Good luck - Diesy


----------



## Mending

Hi, 

I'm 38 and have decided that it's time for me to start this journey. I'm terrified last time I attempted this was 9 years ago but sadly it never came to anything as my husband died just as we were half way through our second cycle of clomid  

I have PCOS and been taking metformin for years. My AMH is 96.6!!!! I have decided to use an open donor and my friends and family are right behind me. I have a really lovely consultant and we have plan in place, FSH injections to start and he reasonably sure that I will need to go to IVF.  I only have a limited budget so won't have many attempts. 

I would appreciate any help or advice. 

Thanks


----------



## NowOrNever

So sorry for your loss mending. It sounds like you've been through a lot. But great that you have your family behind you. Good luck.


----------



## Diesy

Hi Mending, sorry about the loss of husband and I hope this new venture in your life brings lots of happiness.    Good luck, I've never heard of an AMH at that level, you'd need to be careful of OHSS but your consultant will keep you straight.  Do you have a donor organised?  That's nice to have family support.  

Welcome - Diesy


----------



## Annaleah

Hi Mending and welcome    Just to echo what Diesy said about really close monitoring and OHSS risk with such a high AMH.  I was 30 when I had my first IVF (long protocol) with AMH of 57.1 (PCOS too) and had an insane response.  I think the current thinking is short antagonist protocol is better than long protocol for those at risk of high ovarian response.  Wish you well on your tx journey and glad that you have good support.

Annaleah x


----------



## indekiwi

Hello Lucyloo and Mending, and welcome to FF!  Wishing you both luck on your respective journeys.  Please come and post on the other TTC (trying to conceive) threads - I'm sure you will both receive loads of support!


A-Mx


----------



## BroodyChick

Meding, I second that - you do NOT want OHSS, you can die from it (I nearly did) and it will be weeks in hospital and months until you're back to normal, if you're as unlucky as me.

Can you do a few IUI's?

A warm welcome in any case! xxx

P.S. I was 35 and I am NOT skinny, my AMH was just over 50 (56 I think) so please do be careful


----------



## Mending

Thank you all for replying. I am really nervous as currently long way from family and just moved here so only know one or two people, so hopefully ovaries and hormones will play fair!!

Donor chosen from ESB.

First nurse appointment Thursday. 

Jen x


----------



## Tommi

Good luck Mending! 

Hi to all the new ladies. I hope your dreams come true!

Txx


----------



## mle83

Hi all, 
I am new to this site but at the age of 30 and still single I have decided to create my family solo.
I have PCOS and have been on Metformin for years and usually just have 1 period a year. I asked for fertility treatment from my GP and was refused as I have not tried using a sperm donor for 12 months or more. He suggested finding a donor on the internet and ttc that way. I asked if he could refer me to get some medication to help regulate my cycle in order to do this but again was told no.  
I am now looking at different ways that I can conceive and the private clinics seem to be very expensive. I am even considering treatment abroad or even ordering Clomid online to help me ovulate and using a sperm donor.
It has been reassuring to see that I am not alone in seeking to have a baby as a single woman. It really had given me hope to read about women being successful and having a baby despite the obstacles in being single. 
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Marcia x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Arcia sorry your Gp has been less than helpful but privately or abroad are the options that most women have travelled. I wouldn't recommend buying clo mid from the Internet without a drs instruction. I would go back to him or another and say due to ur pcos u want to see a gynae as u r intending to ttc and need to b ovulating and need assistance. This isn't fertility tx or try ur local family planning clinic. For assistance and advice. I presume ur Gp won't do ur blood screening the family planning clinic might but the GUM clinic will do those but not fertility bloods! Gd luck


----------



## mle83

Thank you for taking the time to reply  ♥JJ1♥ 
I think I am going to have to be far more pushy with my Gp and ask to see a gynae as I do need assistance, failing that I shall be trying my local family planning clinic.
Just wish my Gp had been a bit more understanding and willing to help.


----------



## single39

Hi, I'm new!

Im single and just turned 39, from Greater Manchester.

I started thinking about my fertility after a single friend had a baby through AI (donor sperm) and another had an AMH test which resulted in a low reading. My plan was to freeze my eggs and then hope to meet someone in the next few years....i never in a million years thought I would be writing this today.

My AMH has come back as "less than 0.6" and I'm in major shock. He also said im likely to have early menopause and am at higher risk of miscarriage. The gynae said there was no need to do the scan to check my follicles as this score indicated my eggs wouldn't respond to stimulation. He said I could still have a natural pregnancy but based on the fact Im currently single and have such a low score (it actually says on the results form very low/undetectable    ), he suggested I consider going straight for donor eggs and donor sperm. He recommended going to see GP asap (i have appt Monday) to start the process of referral (he advised St Marys as that's where he sees his NHS patients) and to see if my PCT will fund (apparently Bury do usually fund up to age 40). Alternatively I will go private.

I was in bits during the results appt so have arranged to see him again on Friday as I can think more clearly and think of some questions. What kind of things should I be asking?

Should i ask about having a repeat AMH and  insist on the follicle scan (i saw him privately so can pay for the tests)? What else?!

I'm researching CARE and Manchester Fertility....CARE seems to have best results and best service so far. Any views?

Thanks...so glad I found this forum!


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## suitcase of dreams

hello and welcome single39 
and big   
am sure it's been a big shock to get a low AMH result. 
I used donor eggs & sperm but only after many attempts with own eggs and primarily for egg quality issues rather than quantity so I can't personally help with the low AMH. I know there is a thread on here for poor responders, am sure someone will point you in the direction of that
I think what I would say is don't give up hope, there are people who have had successful fertility tx even with low/neglible AMH so I would certainly explore all options and ask for second opinion etc before you make any big decisions
at least then you will know you have explored all your options
CARE does have good reputation I think, so sounds like a good place to start. Am sure we have a few folk up in your part of the world so hopefully they will be along to offer thoughts on your local clinics specifically
good luck, hang in there, there's lots of great support here and I'm sure you'll find a way through,
if you want to chat re donor eggs at any time, am happy to help if I can
Suitcase
x


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## agate

if your AMH is low it means there is quite a high chance that when you do get a scan you won't see many antral (usuable) follicles.  That means that egg freezing is less likely to be a viable option for you because you need to have a reasonable crop of eggs to freeze in order to give you a good chance that something viable will defrost later.

That said, there are many pregnancies with low AMH - its just that the odds aren't as good statistically compared to if you had a better ovarian reserve.

IMHO you should get a scan and at least you know whether you have some activity on your ovaries which would give you a chance to at least try with perhaps IUI and if that doesn't work, with fresh IVF.    If it was me I'd hope to quickly try maybe 1-3 cycles of IUI back to back and if that didn't work then a minimal stimulation/natural cycle IVF.

The reason for trying IUI first is that its a lot cheaper and less invasive than IVF and if it is going to work for you it will probably work within the first 1-3 cycles or not at all so its always worth trying as long as you do have open tubes and at least some activity on your ovaries.

It probably doesn't matter where you go for a scan or for IUI (neither of those are rocket science!) but I don't think there are any clinics in the North West that specialise in low AMH or minimal stim.    Assuming your scan does tally with your AMH, you are probably looking at recovering only 1-4 eggs even on a high stim so the theory with minimal stim is that you'd hope to get about the same number of eggs anyway but not jeopardise the quality by using high doses of stimulation.

So I'd start by sorting out a scan and plan to get started with IUI somewhere near to you, and whilst you do that you have time to look into specialist clinics for IVF with low AMH/minimal stim.  In the UK, the name that comes to mind is Create in London... but there are also good clinics abroad and at least in Manchester you are near a big airport which makes things simpler.

It must have been an awful shock, but at this point you probably do still have a chance with your own eggs... and of course donor eggs will stay an option for you too.

best of luck!

xx


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## single39

Thanks both for your replies, your hugs and your advice. After my appt on Friday I will digest everything, re-read your posts and look up as much info as i can. Although Ive spent the last 2 days being upset, today i woke up all excited that Id be having a baby sooner rather than later...maybe this is what i needed to stop waiting and start living. Will reply again after Friday xxx


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## NowOrNever

Single39 - I'm at Manchester Fertility and I cant say enough good things about them. They're ALL lovely and the clinic is brand spanking new - they just moved to a new facility. http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/business/property/manchester-fertility-relocating-cheadle-royal-4802883

It's a great place and great customer service.

Hope you get your questions answered and a second opinion.

NON xx

/links


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## single39

So I had my repeat appt with the gynae to ask all the questions I couldnt think of when I got my <0.6 AMH results adn was too busy sobbing. He was great and said he wasnt going to charge me (phew!)

Although it would be difficult he said its not impossible to get pregnant naturally however I don't have a partner at present so that rules that option out. I thought the next option would be IUI but apparently NOT! He said I should be going straight for IVF with donor eggs and sperm, (which Im ok with) as he said he has never had a live birth from IUI with anyone with such a low score (he is from St Marys, Manchester although I saw him privately). I will of course be getting a 2nd opinion but just a bit  

Next step is to see my GP on Monday to see if Bury PCT (or CCG i think there called now) will pay for IVF at St Marys BUT the difficulty with that is finding your own donor. My sister has already offered but he said they wouldn't accept her at 37, and the egg donor must be under 35. So I will be calling for appts at private clinics as well - Manchester Fertility and CARE are the 2 Ive been recommended.

Thoughts ladies?
xx


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## agate

1.  in your place I'd still try IUI - it has low odds, but it does work sometimes and its not expensive compared to IVF - I'd try maybe 2 cycles and if it doesn't work then move on to DE if you want.

2.  obviously if you can get a DE on NHS you'd take that before paying for one.  Is there no clinic that your PCT might fund that recruit donors themselves?

3.  once you are set on DE remember the clock stops ticking and you have no rush.  The odds barely change as you age, unlike OE and your early menopause/POF is irrelevant.

4.  if you are paying for DE privately, take your time and research clinics carefully.  my personal favourite is serum athens for a LOT of reasons (and I had quite a bit of UK tx before I went there).  easyjet fly to athens from manchester and serum are really careful with choosing their donors and not a money-grabbing commercial operation.  treatment in greece tends to have better success rates for DE than the UK because standards of private medical treatment are very high and they don't do egg sharing or take donors with fertility issues - so you tend to get a young, totally healthy donor who matches you well physically and has proven fertility which tends not to be that common in the UK.  unlike many clinics in spain etc, you also can ask for a lot of (non-identifying) info about the donor too... anyway... that's my soapbox... but you don't have any rush once you do DE... speak to as many other FFs and as many clinics as you need to whilst you figure out what is important to you as there are a lot of options.

xx


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## lucyloo-lancs

Well I stopped taking my pill (cerazette) 2 weeks ago and now just waiting for AF to come along for the first time in about 12 months. I had stomach cramps and tender boobs last week and one night i was in agony for about 10 minutes from what i can only think is my ovaries (anyone else had that?) i figured they were doing 'something'after not doing much for a long time now no cramps but boobs still tender. I know it can take a while for AF to return after stopping the pill but for the first time in my life I'm hoping AF will arrive soon and things get back to normal so I can work out my cycle and get on with this


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## Briar-rose

Hi Single39

I was in a similar position to you. I'd just got my head around having a baby on my own and then found out I had an AMH of less than 1.1 so 'negligible fertility'. Devastated! I was given similar advice ie don't bother with IUI and try IVF which I did but unfotunately I had no response to stims. So now I'm having embryo donation at a clinic in Spain. I thought about trying again with different drugs, less drugs, or even doing IUI just to see but money was a factor for me and I decided that ultimately having a baby was more important for me than using my own eggs and I feel very comfortable with that decision now. But everyone is different. Brilliant if you can get funded treatment but if you're paying for it I would suggest doing some research into clinics abroad as they can be a bit cheaper. The clinic I'm using in Spain is Vista Hermosa and they have been wonderful.

Good luck and also to everyone else undergoing treatment.
x


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## single39

Thanks Briar-rose, really helpful to hear others experiences.

You and Agate have both recommended clinics abroad and if I cant get funding then its something I shall look into further. I went to my GP on Monday who is putting together a letter to the CCG panel for NHS funding at my preferred clinic CARE Manchester; should be a few weeks before I hear anything but will update when i do.

Thanks again everyone x


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## mae_mac

Hi  

I'm new to this nd don't have a clue wot I'm doing been a little scared to post b4 this I guess   I'm 33 and single and have only ever wanted to be a Mum. All my closest friends have children (and partners) and I work with children so spend a lot of time around other peoples kids, I decided to go it alone when I figured I'm getting older and it's more important to me to have a child than a hubby. I know a lot of people won't approve of my decision and that weighed on me but in the end I knew I'd never be truly happy if I didn't at least try. I have to admit I am keeping the fact I'm ttc a secret from everyone except a couple of friends and my parents who have all been very supportive.  

I've had 3 failed IUI's and was then diagnosed with PCOS and a partial blockage in one tube. So here I am on my 4th IUI attempt this cycle is medicated and I'm   this one'll work. I've read a lot about the first medicated cycle being a trial run to see how your body reacts to meds so I know I shouldn't get my hopes too high but I can't help myself. 

I started meds (suprecur nasal spray and gonal f inj) cd2 & cd3. I have my first scan on Mon (cd 9). Here's hoping  
 to all


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## Annaleah

Hi Mae_mac and welcome, 

Wishing you all the best with this cycle     

Just reading your post (maybe I've misunderstood you), I'm surprised your clinic didn't pick up the PCOS and tube issue before your first cycle.  My understanding is that most clinics check tubal patency before proceeding with any form of IUI and would scan/ measure ovaries etc pre-treatment. Make sure your clinic keep a close eye on you and your follicle numbers as some with PCOS and reasonable AMH have a high ovarian response to stims which can be a problem for IUI.

Hope your scan on Monday goes well   
Ax


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## mae_mac

Hi Annaleah, 

tnx for ur post 

I discussed tests with the clinic and they did an internal ultrasound which didn't show up any problems, I'd been having positive OTk's so assumed I was fine.  Once they reviewed my case and I'd had 3 unsuccessful Iui 's they recommended SIS scan (which showed a partial blockage of a tube, Dr wasn't concerned and didn't think it would impact on conception) and AMH test (which came back fine). I wanted to get started before I went back to school  (1st attempt was during the summer hols - I work in a school, not a student  ) so I kind of rushed them I guess. I think if I'd been trying to conceive before I went to them they would've done the tests first.  

It's good to know that I might have a high response to stims I was kind of thinking I was on a low dosage compared to some other posts I read so I guess they're being cautious. I really need to ask more questions when I'm in there but freeze and can't think of any.

How are you getting on?
Mae xo


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## Annaleah

Hi Mae, 

A few thoughts...  if the clinic did a pre-treatment scan, they should have measured your ovaries and looked at them. They will have been polycystic in appearance at this stage and, if they were, you should have been told.  I'm not very familiar with the SIS scan (so please someone come along and correct me with the next bit if I'm wrong), but I think it mainly looks at the uterine cavity and endometrium. As far as I'm aware it does not add to the view of the ovaries to aid a diagnosis of PCOS, neither does it assess tubal patency (to allow for assessment of your risk of ectopic)  - usually done with a HyCoSy or less frequently a HSG.  I don't want to worry you but tubal adhesions and blockages do increase the risk of ectopic. They do not preclude you from having IUI but, depending on severity, I think are one of the contraindications. For your safety, clinic should be doing these tests pre treatment regardless of your previous conception history   

When I was around your age my AMH was around 57, an indicator of PCOS, and even on the tiniest whiff of gonal f I had a follicle number which meant it was unsafe to go ahead with IUI but not financially viable to convert to IVF in that cycle.  Day 9, to me, seems very late to scan someone who may be at risk of a high ovarian response and whose response to stims is unknown! I know I may appear bold and critical of your clinic...I think you need to be asking questions about the rationale for your treatment protocol and the assessment of your tubes. Also ask about monitoring, trigger and timing.
Ax


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## Briar-rose

Hi Mae_mac

You're definitely not alone in deciding to have a baby without a partner, but it sounds as though you have supportive parents and friends which is great. I have only told a trusted few and I know they'd be really happy for me if it worked out. How did the scan go?


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## Ireland79

HI Everyone

I am a total newbie, (I registered yesterday!) 

A bit about me...I am 33 years old, 34 in a few weeks, my long term relationship finished at the start of the year when i discovered he was cheating on me.  I believed that all my plans for wanting a family were over until I began researching having a family by myself using donor sperm.  I have a stable job, I am financially secure, I have life insurance and I have looked into maternity leave and benefits from my employer and I think I am now ready to start the process off.  

I have talked to my mother about it but I don't think she understands how serious i am about it. I am looking advise, experience and support for explaining everything to my mum.  We are the best of friends and I spend a lot of time with her, we talk everyday and she has always been a great support for everything I've ever done in my life.  I really want her to be as excited and happy about this next journey I am about to start as I am.  She has expressed her biggest fear about this decision is that should I met a man in a few years time he might not want to start a relationship with me as (hopefully) I will have a child. This is not an issue for me at all. (i think this might be an old school idea she has going on)

Another big factor that I have been researching and thinking about is the fact that I work shifts and night shifts and does anyone have advise for childminders etc.  I have read lots about it and I know there are overnight childminders in my area but does anyone have practical experience of this.

anyway after all that, with a good bit of info behind me, my two biggest fears, my mums full support and getting back to work afterwards and coping with night shifts.

any help and advise would be great, I have not yet made an appointment with the clinic closest to me as I would like my mum to come with me but i am sure after that I will have more questions for you all.  So glad I registered on here, I have just been nosing round as a guest the last 3 months!

S xo


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## indekiwi

Welcome Susie!    Good luck with bringing your mum up to speed, so to speak!  Re night time childminders, look up posts from Morrigan - probably more on the bumps and babes side of the board - as she also works shifts and has had to deal with this issue.  I've gone the nanny route to cover times when I've had to travel away on business but this is not an option that is available to everyone.  


A-Mx


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## Ireland79

Thank you so much a-m! 

I'm going see my mum on Monday when she's back from a few days away and get a good old chat with her!! I'm looking forward to it to be honest now that I'm all geared with lots of info!! 

I'll def get a look at the person you said and hopefully make contact! I have thought of a nanny as well but I don't know as its very expensive again still something I'm looking at but I think childminder would be better! 

I'll be updating how I'm feeling after monday and I'm kinda hoping appointments will start to be made round then too! Thanks for the welcome!!


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## Broody24

Hello lovely ladies! I have found a sperm donor, who is willing to donate to me. I won't be starting anything for a good few months yet. But anyone gone or going through the same thing any tips or advice would be muchly appreciated! Thanks in advance. Xxx


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## alexine

Hi Broody there may be some useful info through discussion on this thread pertaining to going with a donor outside of a spermbank. 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=308778.0
xxA


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## jayne2013

H im single i ive got my first appointment tomorrow  having blastost could anyone tell me what a social report is and how many sessions of councelling il have thankyou?


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## Fraggles

Hi Jayne no idea of what a social report is. Where is your treatment? Welcome to the board.x


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## Caledonia

Hi, 

Just wanted to pop by and say hello! I am single and currently looking into adoption - I am dating someone but he is clear kids are not on his horizon for a long time!

Anyway just wanted to say hello to you all


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## NowOrNever

Welcome to the "singles" board. Wow, adoption. Well done to you. My friend just adopted 3 siblings under the age of 5'- it's been a brimstone of fire, but she (and hubby) are v happy.

What made you go the adoption route first? 

Good luck, and I hope your local authority is speedy and you get your child(ren) soon!

Non x


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## Caledonia

Thanks for the welcome NoworNever!

I am not sure what has made me go down the adoption route first - I had always thought I might adopt but thought it would come after Birth children. Life sometimes doesn't work out as you plan!

I have had partners in the past and had spells with no contraceptive and well nothing happened! Lol! My best friend has just been on a 3 year torture trip with her partner and is starting IVF and I just don't know if I could face it single! I wouldn't even know where to start and don't have the finances!

Kudos to all you ladies who do go down that path - I am sure I will catch up with the jargon soon enough!   xx


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## everhopeful1234

juust want to wish you all the best of luck out there.  It took me four years and four attempts to have my little boy on my own.  I never thought i would have the courage but my goodness it is worth all the heart ache and trying.  Just want to send you all lots of kisses and luck xxxx


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## Caledonia

Excuse my ignorance here but I assume going it alone means footing the bills yourself? 

Certainly in Scotland the bumph on IVF seems to be that your in a hetro couple, don't smoke, have a BMI of less than 30 and lot's of patience if you want NHS assistance - well I pass on one of those - I don't smoke!  

So all you ladies doing it alone your having to pay out for private clinics? Sorry that probably seems a dumb question!


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## indekiwi

Welcome Jayne and Caledonia.   


Jayne, like Fraggles, not sure I understood your question.  What treatment are you about to embark on?  


Caledonia, yes, with very few exceptions, singles going through fertility treatment have to foot the bill themselves.    Good luck on your adoption journey.  There is a thread further down this or the next page where singles adopting have posted recently.    One of them (Kizzi79) has in the past couple of months become mummy to a son.   


A-Mx


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## Caledonia

Thanks Indekiwi I will check it out


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## NowOrNever

Hi again Caledonia, yep - private clinics, big bills! Although post 40 its rare for the NHS to offer it to anyone; single, married or fallen from outer space! 

I think you're probably on the right board for "life doesn't always work out the way you plan"....it definitely doesn't. Hence the "make the most if life while you still can" !!

It's amazing how resilient and matter of fact you become- and mad as it sounds, it's in some ways easier on your own. Nobody else's feelings to consider, no pressure from anyone else or putting pressure on yourself to succeed for a partner....makes it somewhat easier sometimes. 

Best of luck with your adoption journey. 
X


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## Caledonia

The rules just changed in Scotland for IVF - ladies up to 42 get it down. To achieve this they reduced the BMI and length of time you had to be a non-smoker!! So not really offering it to anymore people - just shuffling lives about  

Yeah it is nice being on your own but it has it's pitfalls - for me mostly hearing from everyone else how fabulous my life must be and how I seem to lead the life of sex and the city!! If only!!  Oh and the finances - splitting household running costs with someone would be nice  

Anyway thanks again for the lovely welcome xx


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## Kelz33

Hi Everyone,

Been a while since i last posted!
I'm still waiting on my appointment with my local fertility clinic - they have asked that i get day 21 bloods which i have done for the past 3 months as they wanted to see if there was a trend.  I'm a little confused and worried so any advise would be great.

First set of of day 21 was done with a result of 13.1 they asked that the following month i get them done on day 23....the results of that were 20.9 i've gone back this month on day 21 again and the results are 6.7 :-( so the doc has called and asked that i go into discuss this!! my confusion is why does my doctor want to see me when i'm waiting on my fertility appointment ?

Anyway, just a wee re-cap (35, single, deciding to go it alone and was referred by my gynie consultant back in April)

Kellt x


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## agate

not sure... but it sounds as though you might not be ovulating... so maybe he is going to give you 1 month of clomid then redo the test to see if it makes you ovulate or something?


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## lisamay

Hello  
I'm 25 and been single for 2 years after breaking up with my long term bf. After all my plans were turned upside down I figured I should only rely on myself for new plans, having a baby being the most important one.
As much as I wouldn't turn away mr right in the meantime, if I find myself in the same situation at 30 I'm 99% sure I want to become a mum on my own. 
If I'm considering this when should I be starting the ball rolling? 
Looking for some advice and support.. I have told friends and family and understandably they are not convinced it is a great idea so looks like research and reassurance is down to me!
Thanks ladies


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## KerriJo

Hi  Lisamay,

I am a single Mummy to a 13 month old boy. I started looking into treatment when I was 31, began it at 32, and had my son at 33. I am now looking at going for number 2 and part of me does wish I had started just a couple of years earlier, as I am aware that each year that goes by decreases the success rate slightly (I had iui and at 32 was given under 10% success rate). 

On the other hand, at the point of starting treatment for my son, I had my own home, a good job and had managed to save which made things more stable as well as easier financially. 

I had hoped to find Mr Right, and still am!!

When going for counselling prior to treatment, I was told I was young to be making the decision to have my family in this way. My response was, that I knew it was right for me and waiting a few more years was not going to change that.

Good luck


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## BroodyChick

Hi KerriJo
welcome!
What a cheeky and insensitive thing for a counselor to say, I thought they weren't supposed to make judgements?
Maybe they meant it in an encouraging way, but how much better is it to look at your options when you still have them, rather than waiting til you're older and it's suddenly too late? And how much better to fulfill your own dreams than drag the next best man down the aisle because your ovaries are holding you hostage!?
Well done on having No1 on your own, and wishing you all the best with No2!
I never thought I'd meet my Mr Right in the middle of a year of treatments, but it looks like I have - so you never know  He is coming with me to the clinic tomorrow for my FET.
Keep us posted xxx


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## peanut_buttered

Hi there,

New person here, *waves* - single girl, 38 next week, looking to start a family via donor. 
Just had results of obligatory tests back last week from Coventry CRM and a bit appalled. Terrible, awful AMH, not brilliant FSH. Chat with consultant tomorrow. Wasn't expecting anything to be wrong and was a bit knocked sideways by it but having spent a weekend reading the forum it's good to see it ain't over til it's over.

Anyway, it's nice to be among others in similar situations. I'll keep you posted!


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## NowOrNever

Peanut - welcome. Your 'footer' made me chuckle. I missed it too. I started this journey over 12 months ago and still no pregnancy. Just considering donor egg option. Just when you think you may have hit a brick wall, another door in it opens... and on you go....

Best of luck.
NoN


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## Tommi

Hi Peanut - your sig made me laugh too    I just think there are far better boats for your to pursue!    Like NoN says, there are different paths out there. If you are ever made to feel as though all doors are closing, get a second opinion from another clinic (consider one abroad).

Hi to all the other new ladies! Good luck!  

Txx


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## BroodyChick

Hi Peanut
you have tons of options, so take some time looking into them and extending a warm welcome to you! x


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## peanut_buttered

Cheers everyone


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## Flutter74

hi ladies. 

hope you don't mind me joining you guys. 

i am single 39 & recently learnt my amh levels means i cannot use my own eggs therefore my clinic has recommended a clinic in Cyprus ukfca. this is something i am exploring but options are not easy when your on own. so hence  joining ff last wk. i am reassured that things are not all bad . 

big hug xx


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## Flutter74

thanks Jo for your message. very reassuring. i bet its great being a mummy 

i was just getting my head around using sperm donor as i have spent the last few yrs trying to meet mr right but instead meeting Mr wrong that i. never questioned naive i know my own fertility so it has come as a shock but i am slowly comin to terms. i am going to stop crying and focus on the positives. ff is certainly a good support. 

thanks again xx


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## Flutter74

Jo good luck yourself. 

keep us posted xx


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## Flutter74

sorry i missed out "knowing your going to a be a mummy" 

bet seeing your scan was amazing! ? xx


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## Flutter74

morning Jo. 

hope you don't mind me asking but how did you find the prep for treatment stage ? I've been reading and it blind me with science! 

thanks fay xx


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## peanut_buttered

Hey Flutter, sounds like you and me are in the same boat (what is it with me and the nautical metaphors?). Had a very positive chat with consultant today who is recommending ICSI.

Having gotten over the shock of woeful AMH results I realised I was still kind of where I started anyway - which is assisted conception in whatever form that takes but with the bonus (?) of not having spent a couple of years wondering why it wasn't working naturally and getting upset and frustrated. I hope that is of some comfort to you too?

Good luck sailor!


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## Tommi

Great way to think of it Peanut! Good luck!
Txx


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## Flutter74

thanks peanut. 

yes its welcoming that i am not alone as the last three months when i was having tests re menopause and amh levels. i felt so alone and deeply upset. 
however over the last few days especially joining ff i am more positive.
i have booked a follow up appointment today and go 14th oct. this is to start the process. glad you had a good chat with your consultant. 

lets hope things are looking up  . xx


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## Flutter74

thanks for the Jo. 
the emotional side is certainly a rollar coaster. today i am positive but guess another day i may nt be as positive. 

i am grateful for the advice xx


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## indekiwi

Josue, congrats - wonderful news!!


PeanutButtered, just saw your signature as well - chuckling.  Accounts for a few of us I reckon.  


Flutter, have posted on the other thread re DEtx in the UK.  Welcome.  


A-Mx


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## Flutter74

yes thanks for the advice xx


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