# New and tired of all this waiting



## Huldra (Apr 16, 2008)

Hi all,

A colleague of mine recommended this site, so here I am. Have been reading the posts for a while, and now felt ready to join in.

My story: I'm 35, DH 33. We've been ttc about 18 months. With me having endometriosis I was actually refered to a specialist before we had even ttc for a year. I had a laproscopy in December where they planned to laser the endometriosis, and we were quite optimistic since the chances of conceiving naturally are quite good after a lap. A bit of a shock then when I woke up after the lap to be told that the endometriosis was so bad they hadn't been able to do anything. Everything is a mess and out of place, bowels are affected, the one ovary they could see has a cyst - "it can't really get any worse" the endo specialist said (well, it could - I could be in a lot of pain, which I'm fortunately not). IVF is the best way forward, we were told.

Then my DH had to take his tests, and the results were not good; high on count, but low on normality. After DH being really good, taking his vitamins, not drinking coffee or anything for a month, the results were still bad. Just our luck...     

So now we are waiting: For my major surgery to try to solve the endo problem (6 months waiting list, so probably August), for the appointment with the fertility specialist to be told if he wants to refer us to IVF (8th of May), for the IVF treatment to start (who knows how long the waiting list is...). It's driving me nuts! I want to do something!!! And every day I'm getting older (yeah, of course    - but you get the picture!?)...

So please, any advice would be welcome. Does IVF work? Has anyone in our situation had their dream come true? Anyone else feeling OLD?  

OK, this post is long enough!

Wish you all the best  

W.


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## Lully77 (Apr 11, 2008)

Bless ya!  I've just had a birthday, so yes I'm feeling old too - although everyone keeps telling me that 33 is young ... yawn!

Don't know much about the endo but I wish you all the best.  I had an ovary removed because of a huge dermoid cyst (4 yrs ago) and following that surgery, and a disastrous lapo last November which resulted in a bowel re-section, my insides are not looking great either.

NHS waiting list is apparently roughly 18 months at the mo (well that's what it is for Suffolk PCT) - we're trying to rustle together the £5k required to go private.

Best of luck to you x x


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## Huldra (Apr 16, 2008)

Hi Lully,
A late happy birthday to you! 

My endo specialist keeps telling me I have plenty of time, but with this pace I'll have finished my PhD thesis before anything happens. And I haven't even started on it yet! It will take 4-5 years, but with the baby dream taking it's time, I might as well do something about my dream of studying for a PhD. I'm starting in September, and I'm really excited about it.  

18 months waiting list for NHS treatment?    We'll have to concider going private too I think, if that saves us some time.

As for waiting: at the moment I'm also waiting for DH to come home so that I can get dinner. He said he would be home at 8. I'm hungry.


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## spooks (Oct 11, 2007)

Hello Hudra and welcome. This is all one big wait and I wish I had the answer. I ask other FF's how to cope with it too.
I've just started acupuncture which is my way of feeling like I'm doing something positive whilst waiting for  IVF. I'm 35 this year and my consultant keeps telling me that's young (it really doesn't feel like it though). Hope all goes well and you find FF a useful site, all the best


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## Katherine 3 (Apr 4, 2008)

Hi Huldra and belated happy b'day Lully77!  

Huldra - really sorry to hear of your various problems, that's all a bit crap really isn't it.  But you've come to the right place!  How random, I'm also 35 and my DH is 33, toy boys are definitely the way forward!    And yes, I feel old sometimes and nearly 36, even though I also keep being told time's on my side, etc - whatever! Sometimes it just don't feel like it  

I've also had a lap and a hysteroscopy to remove a bicornuate uterus, so have a good idea of the emotion you go through having one of those, plus I have mild endometriosis, but nothing like yours, poor you, really feel for you   .  And in the grand scheme of things, 6 months isn't so long for your endo surgery especially if it sorts it out   fingers crossed for you.  Can you get on to a waiting list for IVF now so at least you start the ball rolling?  You should talk to your hospital/clinic about applying for funding through your PCT - we've been very fortunate and managed to get it for 2 goes, had to self-fund the first one.  

Anyway, yes IVF definitely definitely works.  I know a few people who've had it and it's worked and they've got gorgeous kiddywinks now.  I myself have had two goes and it worked on both but sadly I miscarried on both    However, at least I know I can get pregnant    So going for it third time lucky hopefully, end of May, so keep your fingers crossed!

I really hope things work out and I hope I've made you feel a wee bit better/more positive and given you some hope?!  Take care, lots of love Katherine xxxx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Huldra, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Endo is a funny thing. You can have very little and be in lots of pain or have loads and hardly know about it. I am sorry to hear yours resuires such drastic measures. 

You might want to check out our Endoboards here on FF:

*Endo ~ *CLICK HERE

And the ones for Male Factor:

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

Thankfully, these days, most male factor problems can be got round fairly easily with ISCI so it's one thing your clinic need to owrry about more than you!

Here's a link to some questions to ask at your first IVF consultation:

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

And don't forget to have a bit of fun while you are on FF and check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (*Wednesday at 8pm*), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck and I hope the wait is not too long. 

C~x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hello Huldra,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome to the site    You have come to a fantastic place for support and information.  I am sorry I can not help you further but just wanted to say good luck with everything.

Emma
x x x x


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## Lully77 (Apr 11, 2008)

Hi Huldra

Thanks for the birthday wishes!

To update, we just received a letter yesterday to say we are top of the NHS IVF waiting list!!! OMG!!  So that was 4 months wait as opposed to the 18 months they indicated at last consultation.  So it may not be too longer wait for you either, after all - everything crossed.

Lully x


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## Emmib (Apr 17, 2008)

Hi Huldra

I too have only joined today, and look at all the FF you have in touch already.

I had endo too and a lap removed a choc cyst and luckily had no more returned.  Am now on the IVF waiting list after 3 failed IUI even though all tests show no problems.  We have been told 8 weeks from seeing our consultant and that is in 7 weeks time so max 15 weeks till we start.


Spooks - I have started reflexology to keep me going in the wait up to IVF and me and DH have started on a health kick before our first appt.  I am 35 this year too and can hear the clock ticking but all the signs for IVF at our age look as good as they can get.

Katherine - you are right, just knowing that you can be pregnant is a positive to take from a failed IVF.  Even having that gives you some hope.  I have never had that double lined joy, just my mind playing tricks on me with nausea and swollen boobs!

It is so reassuring to see that there is somewhere I can chat now to people that understand.

Emma x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi Huldra and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic site full of support and advice.

I wanted to wish you loads of luck for the future and be sure to check the links out that have been left.

Kate xx​


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## Huldra (Apr 16, 2008)

Dear all,

Thank you soooo much for your replies!

As a lot of the newbies here say, knowing you're not alone does help a lot     Even if it feels like I am a failure not beeing able to get pregnant and have children, there's absolutely NO way all of the wonderful people in here can all be failures  

Lully: It's a relief to hear that you don't have to wait 18 months after all. Fingers and toes crossed for you! 

For me I hope that things will get more clear after the appointment 8th May. Hopefully they will tell us our options. At the moment I have mixed feelings about the whole IVF thing. We have actually already looked into the adoption option, and we are likely to go that route at some stage. But if we are ever to try IVF we will have to do that now. My DH doesn't really care how we get children; he wants to have children, but they don't have to be biologically his. I would love to experience the baby stage though, so we'll give IVF a go. But the whole process with drugs and possible side effects freak me out a bit    

Sorry if the language is a bit odd. I'm listening to Norwegian radio while writing, so I'm a bit confused     My aunt is going to be interviewed in a minute, so I have to listen. 

Hope everyone have a wonderful Sunday!


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

It was nice to meet you in chat tonight, although chat can be fun it is often fast!
Tommorow night we have a special Chat hour for new members to learn the ropes in there so to speak.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0

I will leave you a link to "what every new member needs to know" and 
I hope to see you again of the boards or in the chat room, any Questions Just yell my way

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=101841.msg1454182#msg1454182

~Dizzi~


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## Huldra (Apr 16, 2008)

Hi there Dizzy,

I think "dizzy" just about describes how I felt in that chatroom...    
That's what I call fast chatting! I didn't have time to read it all, definitely not to write anything. Maybe I can use being Norwegian as an excuse?  

I was just popping in anyway to see what it was like, so I didn't leave because I'd been scared off. My DH did actually bring me hot chocolate, so had to give him a bit of attention.  

I might very well try the newbie chat some time.


W.


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Huldra, I am a dizzy Dizzi
Last night was the quiz, Tonight is newbie Chat so I may see you later 

~Dizzi~


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