# Some advice please x



## vikkir (Jun 3, 2010)

Am new to FF and have spent many hours reading through other threads and wondering should I post or should I not - so here I am!! 

I have a 13 year old from a very young previous relationship and my DH has no children.  We have been TTC for just over a year and knew something wasnt right when it never seemed to be happening, I have had bloods taken to check levels at everything seems to be fine and I appear to be ovulating when I should be, have been having regular periods pretty much every 28 days, my DH had sperm anylasis done and he has been told that he has mobility probs (?) in his sperm, he was given results over the phone by his GP and was told that he would be given more details when we go to Fertility Clinic which is in 3 weeks time at Ninewells, as you can imagine we have scoured the internet for every possible scenario and looks like ICSI would be road we will need to go down but suppose we will find out more at our first appt at clinic on 8th July.  Does anyone know if we will get funding for this due to me already having a son or will we be looked at with some sympathy as my DH has no children of his own?


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## keeley ;-) (Jan 13, 2010)

vikkir-welcome to FF and the best of luck to you.
with regard to funding because you have a child already you would not be eligible i'm afraid    i do know a few people have appealed before but that was when their partner had a child (not sure if they over turned the decision though)


fingers crossed you have a overly nice PCT    


good luck for the future, keeley


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## Mazza1971 (Aug 19, 2009)

Hi Vikkir,

Welocme to Fertility Friends. It used to be the case that you would not get funding but that is not necessarily true now. I am currently cycling with someone who has 2 children from a previous relationship but has qualified for 3 free IVF treatments at Barts as her partner has no children of his own. You may however have to fight your case with your PCT and you may need your doctor on your side. It really varies as to where you are in the country..

Good luck.


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## keeley ;-) (Jan 13, 2010)

the other thing you could consider is egg share; if you qualify you could get your treatment funded and help someone else out at the same time x


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## mazza79 (Jun 14, 2010)

Hi

My name is Marie and i already have a 13 year old from a previous partner,my new partner has no children and we have been trying for 3 years.

I have just completed my first cycle of ivf which we did have to pay for,which does seem really unfair,but the whole situation as u know is realy unfair.
Best bof luck wiv things.

Marie xx


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## vikkir (Jun 3, 2010)

Thanks very much for everyone's advice.  I think we will just have to wait and see what 8th July brings and take it from there.  If we have to self fund then at least we know where we stand and just have to save really hard and hope that we get there.  Its all the unknowing just now that is driving me crazy.  Am not very good at being positive but am trying my best xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

vikkir and welcome to Fertility Friends 

Please have a good look around the site and feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

Fifers and Ninewells chatter thread ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=203711.0

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*CLICK HERE

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will find a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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## sammykay (Jun 28, 2010)

Hi there,  
I too am new to this but we are in a very simular postition to you.
I have a 13yr old from previous marriage, and partner of 6 yrs has some motility problems, we have been TTC for 4yrs and got accepted for treatment on the NHS this year. we are on the short protocol, mainly because of my age i thin k, I am 36, partner 30. They did say it depended on your health care trust, we are at Manchester. 
We have been through ECand ER last thursday and are just hoping with fingers crossed, its our first go and we had ICSI. 
Don't know if this helps, but I think it will depend on where you live as to whether you will be funded or not. Let me know how it goes   
xx


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

It is so unfair - my DH has a son that does not even live with us.
I have worked hard (for the NHS) and paid taxes and so has DH (whereas his child's mother does not) and we have not had any NHS treatment.

About the sperm problems - your DH can try and improve his sperm quality by cutting out alcohol and cigarettes if these are applicable and losing weight, again if applicable.
No heat exposure - so tight pants, hot baths, lap tops on laps and cycling etc are a no no.
Take a well man supplement daily containing zinc and selenium.
He should only have moderate amounts of caffeine - a couple of cups of tea or a mild coffee a day and eat healthily.
You should also look at what he does for a living - exposure to heat or toxic fumes might have an effect.

These changes over a three month period can significantly improve things, but you have to be consistent. Exposure to excessive heat in 2-3 months before a sperm analysis can affect it.


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## sammykay (Jun 28, 2010)

My Partner is fit and Healthy, he has never smoked and has a healthy BMI,  we have been TTC for 4yrs. I have shared access to my son with his dad. We have tried everything and this was our only hope, we have saved up hard just in case we had to fund ourselves. We dont go out much and drink and both work extremely hard!!!
Maybe we were very lucky  getting it on the NHS, But I am sure that everyone that is doing this has tried every option available to them. It is unfair for some, but I am sure there are reasons for this!
I hope all goes well for each and everyone one of you


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

What reasons can there be for someone living in one part of the country in exactly the same family and health situation as another person in another part of country being offered healthcare and the other person not?

At every turn I feel like everything is against me and that I get no help from anyone except myself.

It is not like I am asking for more than anyone else - I am just requesting that I get equal treatment.

Just because I married someone who MAY have fathered a child before he got testicular failure means that I don't get help from the NATIONAL health service? How can it be National if half the nation is excluded by rules made up by a whim to keep costs down? The NICE guidelines clearly set out the criteria, but the PCTs make up their own rules to exclude patients.

I say either provide IVF for all childless women or none.


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## Banana Girl (Aug 9, 2005)

Hi Vikki

Just saying Hi really!

Good luck with your appt, it's a roller coaster ride and there is a lot of politics to pick through but you have found a good place with FF x

I wish you all the best. As Hazel has said a LOT can be done to improve sperm quality as men produce new sperm every 2 months or so. We had great success with the Foresight programme - which you can follow as you wait for your ICSI (if you decide to go that way).

If you do decide to go for ICSI and you do have to pay, comfort yourself that you will prob have a shorter waiting time - many patients who do qualify for free tx end up paying anyway as they are not prepared to wait for so long.  I also have friends who felt liberated by not having to stay under the NHS and had great success with clinics abroad.

Poke around on here and you will be well armed!
x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Vikki ... How you feeling today hun    Only a week to go and you'll have some answers then    Dont forget to take a list of any questions you may have for them   

Good luck and keep in touch x


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## vikkir (Jun 3, 2010)

Ceri,

Have had a crap last few days as everything imaginable has gone through my head.  Lots of tears etc last night but only a week to go.  Am just hoping that this time next week we will have some answers and know what happens next rather then the unknown!!! 

Will keep you all posted xx


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## Stars* (Sep 27, 2007)

Hi Vikki

Welcome to ff!! im at ninewells, good luck for you appt. 

You will need to self fund. There is a possibility of egg share depending on your age etc. 

hope this helps

All the staff r lovely there 

Lisa xx


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