# Abroadies Hoping For Another Miracle - Part 3



## Sasha B

New home ladies...

Here is the updated list...

*Bonnie* -    Twins born 21st Feb 08

*RSMUM* -   Baby girl born 15th May 08

*Ms Minerva* -  Feb 08

*SarahElizabeth* -  May 08

*Ali40* -  June 08

*Radnorgirl* -  June 08 - Twins!

*Cat68* -  September 08

*Mandellen* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Sasha* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Marina* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*WWAV* - Hoping to resume tx in 2008 (watch this space)

*Nats210* - Hoping to resume tx in 2008 (watch this space)

*Rachel* -   

*Janny* -   

*Izzy* -   

*Roze* -   

Please IM me with any changes xxx


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## Womb with a View

Dearest Roze - really sorry to hear your news and at the same time delighted that you can now focus on your lovely family without regret.  You've been one brave lady and it's been a pleasure to walk beside you in your journey.  You always showed great courage, often in the face of bad luck, disappointment and bewilderment.  It all paid off.......you have your darling girl to love and cherish, and to be loved and cherished by.  Good idea to take a break from us.  Enjoy all of it and give yourself one hell of a pat on the back......you stood fast in the face of low odds.  Keep in touch.  Much love and affection, xx


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## roze

Hi,

Thanks for all your good wishes and wonderfully written words.
I hope this did not come across as churlish- just needed and need some time away from discussions of tx etc as this has been a real disappointment. Unfortunately having one success must have addled my brain and made it forget all the other 7 plus times it did  not work and what is essentially the reality of treatment at least for me. 

I will be wishing Sasha, Mandellan and Marina the best of luck in their forthcoming txs this month and hoping for many more BFP's on this board!  Hope to resume participation very soon and of course get around to making those phone calls and personals...

all my love,

roze  xxxxxx


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## Rachel

Hi everyone

I am sorry I have been awol for a while. I'm finding the waiting very hard especailly with that big 4 0 looming although I am teaching myself to feel better about it thanks to WWAV  

I will try and keep up now but just wanted to send huge hugs to Roze    So sorry poppet. Take care xxx

Sasha - I can't believe how quickly your next journey has come around. Got it all crossed for you xxx

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxx


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## RSMUM

Just a quick one to say Hi to you all - isn't this rain awful?! I have to take L to have her jabs today - and pick up R from school - just don't want to leave the house! 

Sending you hugs Roze , if you are still reading us...take care of yourself and your family   

Rachel - just wanted to say that WWAV has been my councellor recently too! How many jobs can that woman actually do at once?! Amazing!!!  thanks for listening WWAV - you are a star!

Sasah - say Hi to the lovely Stepan for me and the very, very best of luck hun

Well L has just gone down for a nap ( she has taken to being up all night - sigh! ) so I'd better get on with some chores - double sigh..

Hugs to you all

D X


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## safarigirl

roze, not sure when you will read this, but i was so moved by your post ... we have known each others on this board for awhile ... that was one courageous post and i have so much respect for you .... i am so sorry it did not work out, but your words and thoughts were so full of love and wisdom despite this, and i found that incredible moving.  With much joy and love to you and your family in the years ahead ....


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## three_stars

I have been very awol recently so just tonight a little chance to catch up.

Dearest Roze, so very, very  sorry to read your news of the BFN.  I am sad for you but I can hear in your words that you are coming to terms with it now and you are very brave indeed with this step.  

I know it does not seem like it but I suppose that you have actually been very successful and have had fairly good odds really, even though even one failure can seem to much to bear.  I say this for those lurking or posting that are still trying against even lower odds or have yet to have even had a first BFP.  You are all very courageous. We all hope to get a BFP each time and forget how low the odds actually are in reality. And sometimes we forget just how hard the previous failures were because each new ones hurts so much.  

I also feel a lot of respect for you in deciding it is enough.  I struggled with the decision to continue.  DDs desire for siblings and my desire to give them to her pushed me forward despite knowing how hard it would be in my present situation.  When I see her holding them or playing with them and at 6 months giggling at her antics I am happy for making them a family.  ANd sometimes she thanks me for her gift of a "her babies" as she calls them  But there are many times when I do think how life with just DD and I would have been so different and in so many ways easier for me and surely more enjoyable for her as an only child ( more time for her alone, activities, travel, moving on in my life with work, social life, etc. )  I now live in a nieghborhood absolutely bursting with babies to high school kids as it has a high concentration of nurseries and  schools here.  Funny enough I can almost pick out the kids that are the only child. ( Possibily by the look of the parent(s) which always seem to be a lot less frazzled!!!!    I just finished watching that news blip on the little 9 yr old boy that is billed as a little Mozart and started piano at age two- I was thinking "bet he is an only child!")  So there really are two sides to the coin, with equal pleasures, when it comes to having one or having more.  You have tried your best and your DD will know this one day if she ever does ask about siblings and you discuss it with her.

Your Ella will give you so much joy and happiness in your lives and the chance to now focus on her and DH and You must feel good in many ways!  
I am still hoping that we ( and our Ella's) will get a meet up one day.  So I hope you will stay in touch.  Hugs to you     

Good luck to Sasha and Marina and Mandellan on tx to come.
Hugs to Helen as well on those twinnies.     
Hi to Safari girl.  Did I ever write back to your email?  I think I have a few months of emails unanswered at this point!!!

Jules-  My eyes are bloodshot but did i see that right that you only have 2 months to go,.. already??  Hope you are doing well.  

Good luck to cat.. I think you are on 2ww now?
RS MUM has it been a year already  We had Hep B jabs yesterday and will have BCG next month.
Had to laugh about you struggling on the bus!!  I sometimes feel truly like I am going out to do battle or on an expedition.  I think I could write a whole book just on my daily struggles with transportation in Paris, minus a car, with twins and a child. Definitely reduces the expenditure on any kind of gym or sports!!!       as if there would be time left over for any!  I have found so much more sympathy for any persons with reduced mobility... Maybe some government leaders should be made to spend first a week in a wheelchair and then another pushing a double stroller while holding a toddlers hand at the same time while dragging a caddy full of laundry or groceries!!  Maybe would see some changes then in terms of acessibility!!!!!      


Help!!!  Does anyone have ANY advice for getting a 6 m old to sleep at night.  My girl sleeps well now but the boy wakes pretty regularly every two hours every night and it is killing me!  I have him nearly weaned as I think he was crying so much as he did not get enough milk.  Thick formula for the vomiting reflux part and added cereal at night but he still wakes and feeds at least once, sometimes settles with a little water other times.  I have got to find a solution  ( short of putting his sleep basket in the bathroom and shutting the door as someome suggested!!    

Hello too to WWAV and everyone else. 

Love,
Bonnie


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## nats210

Hello
Firstly sorry for not posting more often, I do think of you all just sometimes need some time away and now i feel cheeky coming back and asking for your advice.

We have been found a donor which is very exciting, strange how positive we feel this time as opposed to when we were offered 1 earlier in the year we just felt we weren't ready. The other thing is the timings are exactly the same as when we tried the first time a little spooky and i mustn't read anything into it.

Quick question I haven't had a period since before being pg and just starting the pill now, have any of you started tx this way i.e no periods straight into tx?
Trying to find all my notes from before to remind myself of all the things we did, any tips gratefully received.

Many thanks
Nats
x


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## Sasha B

New home ladies...

Here is the updated list...

*Bonnie* -    Twins born 21st Feb 08

*RSMUM* -   Baby girl born 15th May 08

*Ms Minerva* -  Feb 08

*SarahElizabeth* -  May 08

*Ali40* -  June 08

*Radnorgirl* -  June 08 - Twins!

*Cat68* -  September 08

*Mandellen* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Sasha* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Marina* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Nats210* -  Donor matched

*WWAV* - Hoping to resume tx in 2008 (watch this space)

*Rachel* -   

*Janny* -   

*Izzy* -   

*Roze* -   

Please IM me with any changes xxx


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## radnorgirl

Great news on being matched with a donor Nats. I am not able to help about the period thing - I had 2  periods before we went back for treatment again.

Helen
x


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## Womb with a View

Radnorgirl.....I can't believe you're over 13 weeks pregnant!!!  Wow!  How time flies!

Nats.....that's fab news.  Good luck hun.  Sorry I can't help with the menstrual cycle question - I have no idea and will be really interested in any answer you get.  I've had regular periods since stopping breastfeeding at 5 months, which is amazing, given my age but I don't know if that's a good sign or irrelevant one with DE cycles or not, so thanks for asking the question for those of us who are in the same boat.  Good luck to you xxxx

Hi to everyone else.  Little one is crawling and I now have even less time to look at FF, so off I go again....xxxx


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## nats210

Hello
Wow Helen great news on your pregnancy and twins, delighted for you.

Think I would have liked to have had a few periods before but can't be helped.

Nats
x


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## bluebell

Just popped in to wish the lovely Sasha all the best.  Really crossing everything hard for a little brother or sister for Bella.  Tried to call you a few times on your mobile but haven't managed to wish you luck on the phone, so am doing it on here instead !!!  Hope you can stay in touch when you are there and let us know how you are getting on !
Loads of love and luck !         
Schone Reise !  Bon voyage !
Bluebell xxxx


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## earthe kitt

Sorry girls - I think I've only been on here once or twice this year - awful year in many parts - my dear friend died of cancer, 4 months from diagnosis to death, I still can't believe she's gone. 
On the other hand, my boy is still here, my twins are thriving and sleeping through the night.

DH  got early retirement on health grounds a few months ago (he's 63) it's brilliant as he now looks after the twins full time while I work. Our routine is that I drop Sam off at school and get into work at 09.15, he piucks Sam up at 3.10 and I get in from work at around 18.00. His retirement means we're not juggling childcare, flexi and annual leave. It is also increasing my credibility ratings at work

Sam is now in year 1 - he has learned to spit at school this week! Why oh why can't we choose their classmates?

He came home on afternoon recently, pointed his fingers at me (in a gun position) and said "mum, Im gonna gun you!"

The only response I could come up with was "if I ever hear you use a noun as a verb again, I'm gonna brain you"

Suddenly the back end of Hereford/Lancashire/anywhere but here seems appealing

Just really popped in to say Hi to you all, hope to be in touch a bit more frequently now, especially as I have finally managed to fill the two management posts below me so I can concentrate on my own job instead of "acting down"

Bonnie - my only suggestion is Medised
Helen - congrats on the twins - my you have an uneventful pregnancy
Hello Nats
WWAV - have you moved?
Hello Roze - good to see you are OK
Safarigirl 
Sasha - good luck - mega thoughts of you

Sorry to anyone I've missed - it's not deliberate, I'm just getting old

Hope to be a bit more regular

Jo

Edited - thought I was posting on oldies thread - v sorry


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## Womb with a View

Good luck to Sasha......that's come around so quickly!  Wishing you all the very best hun.  xx

Earthe Kit - lovely to hear from you.  Sounds as though you and DH have finally got the childcare sorted - it must have been one juggling act to cope.  I'm panicking already and I've only got the one.  Hope Sam is well in his health.....sounds a delighteful handful!  No, we haven't moved, but do intend to at some point.  I haven't got your email address (private one) as it seems to have been gobbled up somewhere, along with many others.  Glad you posted as Safarigirl and I always think of you when we speak.  When I saw you posting on "hoping for another miracle" I couldn't believe it!!!   Not that I'm judging, just had to laugh at your positivity and courage!  Then I realised you'd posted on the wrong thread!  Do stay though, won't you?  I shall email via the site when I get more than a moment (you know what it's like.....I bet I'd have more time at work of course!)  Love to you all xx

Bluebell.......hope you're well chuck?  Always lovely to see you post.  I owe you an email, big time, sorry. xx


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## RSMUM

Eartha!!! Hello!!! Lovely to hear from you!

Sahas - very,v ery, very best wishes for a HUGE BFP in a few weeks' time      

WWAV - thanks so much for the lovely e-mail    ( but in a good way )  - so fantastic of you to take the time to listen to me going on and on and support me like this..

oops better go - have lots of jobs going on at once but don't want to do any of them..ironing, cleaning the loo, emptying dishwasher, cleaning the floor, putting out the washing etc...etc..Lily is upstairs snoozing but she is a real " snot monster " today and hasn't pooed for about a week so she MUST have stomach ache too - bless..

see. I'm still procrastinating.. 

gotta go

Love to you all

D XXXXXXXX


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## bluebell

RSMUM, hope things OK for you.  Don't know how you do it with two .... I'm exhausted with one !! ....and as for Eartha Kitt (Hello !!  ), and Bonnie .... how do you manage with 3 you bionic women you !

Sasha, thinking of you in Brno !

Hello to WWAV too.  When do you 'go' again ?

....and to everyone I have missed....Izzy, Nat, Roze (hope you are still with us), Helen, Jules, Cat etc etc.

......and here is a teensy weensy bit of news from me.  We are having just one last fresh cycle.  I feel a bit funny saying it as we were so certain it was our last go last time, but somehow I always felt so cheated losing 9 of my 10 so-called excellent, perfect frosties, so we have agreed to give it just one last go (and any ensuing frostie cycles).  My way of coping with it is to try to reduce the significance of this cycle as much as I can in my mind, ie to go into intentional denial / tx numbness, so that if it doesn't work, I can continue on my journey of acceptance of only having one child, a journey that I am already making a tiny bit of progress along.  It's been hard to forget about our tx recently tho' as Ryanair cancelled our flights last week, and also I had loads of hassle finding anyone to do my injection (a new protocol for me).  Hopefully all settled now tho' and ready to start !  Heeeeellllllp, 'ere we go again !!!  

Bluebell xxx


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## Womb with a View

That's fabulous news, Bluebell!!!!!!                
Go for it girl!  xxxxx

Earthe Kit - I'm still laughing at your line re "and if you use a noun as a verb again, I'll brain you"!!!


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## Ms Minerva

Earthe Kitt - so lovely to hear from you, think of you often. Great news on the home front, I would love a house husband! 

Bluebell - wishing you the best of luck for your tx, totally know what you mean about accepting having an only child whilst still pursuing the dream of a sibling. Can't believe how lucky we have been.

WWAV - do you have any dates yet for tx?

Sasha - thinking of you out in Brno.

Bonnie, RSMUM thinking of you all.

Jules xxx


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## RSMUM

I am too Eartha! Just brilliant!!    

Bloob - fabaroony news hun!!!

WWAV - have sent you a hurried email - more later ..

DH has just joined me up to ******** - honestly, I only asked to look at his profile thingy as he was talking about it -   well,  I feel about 90, I am clueless! Have NO idea what I am doing and what it all means - I feel like one of those people who say " oh, it's all too modern for me! "    Just can't get my head around it ...dare not tell him how addicted I am to FF already! hehehe!!

love to you all - and HEAPS of luck SASHA!!


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## Womb with a View

Hi Jules, no, no date, other than December, so here's hoping!  Went to the ARGC this week who are willing and happy to support us again.  GP also doing bloods for us and she's been very supportive too.  Hope you're well too hun.  Not too long now!  xx

Debs - hope you're well darling xx


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## Ms Minerva

The ARGC are just fab aren't they? They looked after very well me during this pregnancy, when the NHS just weren't interested in the early days.... Great to know that you have a supportive GP too, it really helps!

I'm fine, baby is breech at the moment so it looks like a c-section is on the cards, which is fine by me.


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## mini-me

Bluebell - that's great news!  Good luck!  

Love mini-me
xxx


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## Newday

Bluebell you Mynx!!

I asked a couple of weeks ago where are you having txc then?

Dawn


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## Womb with a View

NEWDAY..........good luck hun, masses and masses of it. xx


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## bluebell

Yes, I am a cheeky monkey Dawn !   ... just didn't feel ready to come out yet !!!

Reprofit !  We are too broke to go to IVI again and have a bit oif a bitter taste in our mouths after 9 out of our 10 frosties failed to survive at IVI.  We know it was probably just chance, but we fancied trying somewhere new, and so did our bank balance !  

Dawn, wishing you all the best for your tx too !   

Jules, your babe still has loads of weeks to turn from breach ! 

Thinking of you Sasha    

RSMUM ... smackeroonies to you and your girlies

December eh WWAV ?  A Christmas BFP for you we hope !!

Bluebell xxx


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## Newday

I had a feeling you would say Reprofit I can't praise them enough! Even though I still haven't got that BFP I want they have done and continue to do their best for me.

I shall be watching with great interest

Dawn


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## bluebell

Thanks Dawn,
you are a sweetie !  
Wishing you all the best for the biggest, fattest positive !
Bluebell xxxx


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## safarigirl

earthekitt, YOU'RE BACK!!!!!  i am so sorry to hear about your friend, how awful for you - i/we have missed you very much, and i often think about you and your family ....
so glad your dh can help in that way, i can only imagine the organisation around a family of 5! i am still giggling, trust you to answer i'll brain you if you use a noun as a verb again - i must remember that to use on the local youth in hackney next time they start hassling me!!!
so so so so s ogood to hear from you, you have always been in my thoughts ... i mean i ran drugs for you between spain and uk!  (okay disclaimer here before anyone calls the police, that is legal running of fertility drugs, but it just sounds cool to be earthekitts mule!!!)

big hello to evryoen else, sasha and dawn fingers crossed ....

bluebell - i knew you would make a plan!


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## bluebell

Safarigirl,
Lovely to hear from you !  How are things with your lovely DD ?  OK, so you all knew I was rubbish at hiding our plans - women's intuition eh ?  I will say that this WILL be our last fresh cycle, as long as it goes smoothly, ie decent number of decent embryos etc, but then I daren't say that after last time !!!   
Blooooooobs xxx


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## mini-me

Hi girls,

Can anyone give me a bit of advice?  I got a cold last week which is still lingering, but I've now developed a cough.  In your experiences can coughing have any effect on the baby?  Most sites on the internet say bubs is totally protected, but one or 2 have said your waters can break or you can rupture your uterus (can't see how that would happen)!  I presume most women get colds and coughs during pregnancy as our immune system is lowered, so I can't see it being a major problem.  Got an appointment at my gp for other stuff tomorrow anyway.

Sorry for the lack of personals, but got my fetal cardiac scan this week so I'm a little anxious about every little thing.  All was ok at anomaly scan, but having this as getting diabetes so early in pg.  I'll let you all know.

Love mini-me
xxx


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## bluebell

Hello Mini-me,
I am sure it won't be a problem.  We can always find something on the Internet.  I have never heard of anyone miscarrying /delivering early because they had a cold.  I really feel for you as you are having the same kind of pregnancy that I did, ie because you had so much bleeding you are hyper-sensitive to anything going wrong.  It is so scary I know so you are not alone with this anxiety.  Please believe it from me that once you are into your 3rd trimester all these fears will ease and you can relax and enjoy.  You deserve it !
Lots of love and empathy hugs !    
Bluebell xxx


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## mini-me

Thanks Bluebell.
You're right I am hypersensitive to things.  I just wish I could cough with with involving my abdomen, not possible though!  
It doesn't help that I've got bad ligament / groin pains (all normal) as the coughing makes it worse!

Love mini-me
xxx


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## Womb with a View

Mini-me - totally understand your fears.  However, as someone who had HG all through her pregnancy, and vomitted violently for the last 5 months of it, day in, day out, every couple of hours, I can tell you that nothing will dislodge your baby until he/she is ready!  No irritating cough, no orgasm!  Been there, done that.  I broke my sink vomitting......dislodged it from the wall, taps n' all.  Baby arrived unharmed and full of beans....very content as well, so no harm done, but I can understand your concerns.  Good luck hun xx

Earthe Kit......I'm sorry darling, I meant to say I too am so sorry to read about your friend passing away.  Must have been hard to bear.  Thinking of you xx


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## Ms Minerva

mini-me - totally understand you being worried, it is miserable to have a hacking cough when pregnant, as I know myself and there doesn't seem to be anything that you can take for it. Only good thing was in my case, it made me do my pelvic floor exercises....I shan't eleborate....  

Earthe Kitt - sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend, but good to hear that Sam and your girls are doing well.

Jules xxx


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## bluebell

Jo, so sorry to her about losing your friend.  It feels so tough to have someone stolen away from you like that doesn't it.  I lost one of my best friends too recently.
Big hugs from me   
Bluebellxxx


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## safarigirl

minime i am sure your little baby will be absolutely fine, i know it must be worrying, but although not a medical expert I really really really dont think there is any risk to the baby with coughing, ask them at your fetal check up just so you feel assured ... and good luck with it.  at 23 weeks that bubs is well established, making a nice home for himself, might prod you a bit if you cough too much just to let you knwo you are interrupting his nap!!!!
let us know how your appointment goes ....


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## mini-me

Hi girls,

Earthe Kitt - sorry to hear about your friend.  Many apologies for not mentioning it in an earlier post, but my mind is all over the place at the mo with my appointment today.
Thinking of you.  

Thank you all so much for your replies.  You all confirmed what the midwife on the 'Ask a midwife' thread and the gp said.  I'm still feeling him moving about but he doesn't seem to kick at the front as much, more like kicks deeper inside.  He's probably hiding at the bottom or back of my womb while he's still small enough and, as DH said, bracing himself when I cough!  Saying that he was kicking my stomach this morning!  
Got fetal cardiac scan today so it will be reassuring to see my little boy again.  Off to London shortly, a little nervous but optimistic.  

Bluebell - thanks for the pm.  Yes, he is a wee laddie but will be brought up in England with an English accent.  He'll be the posh cousin / grandchild!  The area of Scotland DH and I come from does not have the best accent.  

Love mini-me
xxx


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## bluebell

That's great news Mini-me ..... so pleased you are feeling reassured.

I love your accent !  My DH comes from the same area as your DH and I think it's a sexy accent !

I'll have to come down and corrupt your little boy and teach him some Scottish words !!  (even tho' I'm not Scottish !!!).

Sasha ... wishing you the best of luck if your ET was today.                 

Bluebell xxxx


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## mini-me

Hi,

Just to let you all know, the fetal cardiac scan went well.  The heart is normal as far as they can say, which is good news and a relief.  

Bluebell - Think my DH will corrupt my little boy - he's not the most pc man!  

Love mini-me
xxx


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## Womb with a View

That's great news Mini-me! x


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## bluebell

Yippeeeeeeeeee Mini-me.  That's fab!  

Bluebell xxx


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## Ms Minerva

mini-me - great news on the scan, so pleased for you!  

Sasha - hope that ET went well, thinking of you  

Scottish accents - they are so sexy!! Just make me want to melt....better not think about it in my condition!


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## Sasha B

Ladies,

Thanks for all your kind wishes. Everything went really well and I had an expanding blast and a blast put back yesterday (both grade 1) and then flew back to the UK in the late afternoon. And now the wait begins again... Ijust keep on telling myslef that they have done so well from day one so why should that stop now. The 2ww madness hasn't quite set in yet either. 

Bella enjoyed Brno although we had a bit of a hairy landing coming in so when it can time to leave yesterday Bella burst into tears and through her sobs said 'I don't want to go on airoplane!' over and over. Once we were up in the air though, she was fine.

Mini-me, glad to hear all is well with your wee man.

Love to everyone else,

Sasha xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Sasha - so pleased to hear that it went so well, two blasts and one expanding sounds good! 

Sorry that you and Bella had a scary landing though. Thinking of you,

Jules xxx


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## RSMUM

ooh Sasha - that sounds really promising! how was Brno? glad Bella enjoyed it - when we went we took R to the only playground we could find, the morning before we left, she got covered from head to toe, in red sand!!! luckily the hotel had a lovely big loo with lots of changing room ooh i would have freaked out if little r had been like that about flying - i'm bad enough as it is!  those embies sound really really good ones hun...best of luck


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## mini-me

Sasha,

Your embies sound good honey, good luck. xxx

Glad your little one was okay on the return journey.

Love,
mini-me
xxx


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## Sasha B

Deb,

Brno was lovely, althuogh very cloudy, but the the architecture in the city centre (old town) was fab and it just had a really laid back cosmopolitan vibe to it. I got to meet the lovey Stepan and Marek as well. Reprofit was fantastic and I received first rate treatment there. Will you take Lily back to visit one day? I laughed when you said about you DD getting covered in red sand. Bella decided one our first day there that she would pcik up hand fulls of small pebbles and shove them into her mouth. She did this a number of times over the next few days. Must be something about Czech soil  .

Sasha xxx


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## Womb with a View

That's good news Sasha.......keeping everything crossed for you!  Hope Bella has now forgotten all about the flight.       

RS Mum......how you doing hun? xx


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## bluebell

Sasha, I am so pleased for you.  
Welcome home to you and the lovely Bella.
I have been thinking about you all the time.  
      
Blooobs xxxxxxxxxx


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## RSMUM

Hi WWAV - I'm ok - busy with the girls - R now has karate, ballet, "modern " ( dance, that is .. ), art class and various RSPB activities - plus 5 lots of homework each week. L has baby massage, "Ti a Fi " ( " me and you " - mums and babies group ), music class ( trying it on Friday ) and a " sign and sing " class coming up ( did anyone do this with their LO's? I did with R and she got it ( eventually ) - it was brill as she didn't have to howl in frustration at me when she was hungry - she'd just do the sign for it ) - I'm also torn about doing Water babies as the best class is miles away from me but I REALLY want to do it - oh and go to the library for storytime....as for everything else I shoudl be doing..."housework?pa!! what's that?! I'm having FAR too much fun with the girls!!!   

My " walking girls " are having a girly night tonight and I don;t know whether to go and take L or leave her with my mum ( she still isn't taking a bottle ) - it is literally down the road so I might try ( as L slept from 7:45 - midnight last night ) and risk it - on the other hand, she is full of cold so I'm not sure whether she might be too distressed if she wakes and I'm not there - ooh..what a complicated life I lead - ha!  

anyway, sorry for rabbiting on...

Sasah - those little embies of yours sound fantastic! Keeping everything firmly crossed for you.

How's everyone else doing? Bloob u ok? Jules? Mini-me?

I wonder how our other preggie girls are getting on?

oops - better go- as usual, spent too much time on here, cuddling L, drinking tea and gazing dazedly ( is there such a word? ) at the pile of ironing and washing and general  "stuff that needs to be sorted " when i shoud lbe getting my act together and getting them asll up and sorted ready to face the day   

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX to you allxxxx


----------



## Rachel

Sasha 

Great news sweetheart. I shall keep everything crossed for you for a very positive result     

Thinking of you 

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## safarigirl

sasha ... welcome back, sending lots of positive thoughts and all over body crossing for you for the next two weeks ....


----------



## roze

Hi everyone,

Sasha- keeping everything crossed for you for a BFP!!  Hope the rest of the 2ww goes smoothly!


love 

roze xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Hello Everyone,

Thought I would come back out of my cubby hole and join the big wide world again! To be honest, i've felt really tired in the evenings which is when i usually post.....i think its because of coming off all the tablets after the m/c. 

Sasha, hope you are doing OK on the dreaded 2ww. It certainly doesn't seem to get any easier does it. I wrote you an IM a couple of nights ago and then lost it all so i'll try again in the next couple of days. Lots of lucky fairy dust to you xxx

Roze, i was so sorry to read of your bfn. Your post was so positive though. Hope things are going OK for you now. 

Bloobs, how exciting that you are going to have another go. Reprofit seems such a great clinic as well. I expect you will be starting the drugs soon. Hope that you are doing ok.

Oh no, i was going to write to everyone tonight but i've just taken a call from my Sil and i've got to go and babysit for her. She needs to go down to the hospital with her 4 year old because he has just trapped his winkle in the toilet seat.  . Must dash.

Will write more tomorrow because now i'm back in the swing of it i really don't want to stop! 

Best Wishes
Izzy x


----------



## Sasha B

I've been looking forward to the day when I can add Bluebell to the list!

Here is the updated list...

*Bonnie* -    Twins born 21st Feb 08

*RSMUM* -   Baby girl born 15th May 08

*Ms Minerva* -  Feb 08

*SarahElizabeth* -  May 08

*Ali40* -  June 08

*Radnorgirl* -  June 08 - Twins!

*Mandellen* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Sasha* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Marina* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Bluebell* -  Fresh cycle October 08

*Nats210* -  Fresh cycle October / November 08

*WWAV* - Hoping to resume tx in 2008 (watch this space)

*Rachel* - Watch this space!

*Janny* - Watch this space!

*Izzy* - Watch this space!

*Roze* - An amazing lady whose reached the end of her tx journey but is always welcome here.

*Cat68* -   

Please IM me with any changes xxx


----------



## bluebell

Ooooooooh, Sasha, you sweetie !!
It's nice to be back on.

Hello Izzy, we've missed you.  Hope you are feeling a bit better now.

Bloobs xxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Marina, so sorry sweetheart to hear about your bfn and really glad you've got frosties.....as you say, your little angel is the result of frosties (just like mine!) so be hopeful and be positive, and I wish you lots of luck.  xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi
Just wanted to pop in and say hi.
I have 5 yr old twins and are just about to start another cycle at IVI Valencia with Donor Eggs as mine are apperently not up to scratch any  more.
Can't believe it has all come around so quickly, got a message to say call for an appointment then it would be 4-6 weeks!!!  Cant belive it can be that simple. My natural cycles were harder and longer than that!!!

How do you all manage the logistics? I have 2 in school and no local relatives??

Love Ellie


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

Like Izzy I have been lurking. The waiting was killing me and we have been trying naturally but nothing has happened (which I knew it wouldn't!). Anyway, I just wanted to update you on my situation. I feel bad not posting for a while though   Sorry.

We are having another fresh cycle in November! I still can't believe it. Ruth asked me if I was sitting down when she rang me and I nearly fell down when she told me! I'm so pleased as I really wanted to be pg before I was 40 and that is in a couple of weeks so if November works I won't be much over the 4 0 mark! 

Ellie - I have twins too! Have you got boys or girls or both?! I find the logisitcs of tx abroad awkward to plan as we have our own business and dh can't be away too long! We are going to Marbella next week for my 40th so he's going to do his bit (he hates it when I call it that!) and they're going to freeze it ready for me to go on my own in November fingers crossed. When I go he will have some time off to look after the girls and take them to nursery etc and my wodnerful sil will help him too. It's quite a headache planning it all isn't it! If you could take a holiday you could all go! Although now you're are at school you are tied a bit more  

Bluebell - Good to see you're trying again sweetie. Got everything crossed for you     

Sasha - Good luck    Got it all crossed for you too!  

Marina - So sorry to hear of your negative result. I shall pray that the frosites bring you a sibling for DD   

Izzy - Hi there. Good to 'see' you again  

WWAV, Deb, Jules, mini-me and everyone I have missed -    

Off to get plenty of tea into Lucy. She's going through a stage of not eating enough in the day and wanting milk at around 2AM   I am worn out! Need a good nights sleep!

Love to everyone 

Rachel xx


----------



## Sasha B

Here is the updated list...

*Bonnie* -    Twins born 21st Feb 08

*RSMUM* -   Baby girl born 15th May 08

*Ms Minerva* -  Feb 08

*SarahElizabeth* -  May 08

*Ali40* -  June 08

*Radnorgirl* -  June 08 - Twins!

*Mandellen* -  September 08

*Sasha* -  Fresh cycle September 08

*Bluebell* -  Fresh cycle October 08

*Skirtgirl* -  Fresh cycle October 08

*Nats210* -  Fresh cycle October / November 08

*Marina* -  FET October / November 08

*Rachel* -  Fresh cycle October / November 08

*WWAV* - Hoping to resume tx in 2008 (watch this space)

*Janny* - Watch this space!

*Izzy* - Consult at Serum - 10th October

*Roze* - An amazing lady whose reached the end of her tx journey but is always welcome here.

*Cat68* -   

Please IM me with any changes xxx


----------



## earthe kitt

Hello everyone - thanks for the updated list Sasha. Now I know where you all are and what you're up to

Good luck with testing on the 6th, I would invite you round to our place but a building site is no place for a lady in waiting.

So nice to see some of you ladies with BFP - Helen, Nats210, Ali40 and Ms Minerva to name but a few

Great to see Bluebell trying again as well

And what are WWAV, Janny and Izzy up to?    

Anyway, not much hapening up my way, having an extension built - builder turned up at 08.00 today, said he had to drop some tools of on another site and would be back in an hour - haven't seen him since   

I'll be keeping an eye on you all

Jo XXXXXXX


----------



## Izzy x

Hello again everyone,

Earthkit, hope the builder showed up again. What a pain! 

Sasha, thanks for updating the list. Hope you are doing OK x

Rachel, thats great news! Bet you are excited! I wonder if that means that the waiting list at Ceram is getting better. I'd love to go back to Ceram for all of my cycles but we having some treatment in Greece while we are waiting. I guess that the mass organisation of everything will start for you soon! 

Marina, so sorry about your bfn. It doesn't get any easier at all does it. Glad that you've got your frosties though. We've got so many frostie babies on this thread that you must have a really good chance with them. 

Ellie, welcome to the thread! hope you manage to sort out your logistics. I've taken my little boy and also left him. Both ways were fine. Guess its harder with older children though. You might not want them to see and hear everything. Let us know how you are getting on. 

Hello to everyone else too. I won't try and do a list because i'm bound to miss someone off. 

Well, i'm due to go out to Serum around the 10th Oct. I've been so impatient to get on with things .....worse than ever. I had a few melt down moments after the m/c in August but i'm getting better. Just a bit fed up with my Mummy friends announcing 2nd pregnancies and following it with the statement "when are you going to start trying again" and me pretending that i am not thinking about it yet. Rah rah rah!  

Before the mm/c i'd got a breif glimpse of what life could be like without ttc. 

Anyway, hope you are all doing OK. Sorry i was not here for a while. I think i was still healing over.

Best Wishes
Izzy x


----------



## Sasha B

Well, ladies what a complete roller coaster I've been on the last few days. Sorry I haven't posted but I need to make sure I knew what was going on.

After my post on Wednesday (9 dpt) I decided to do a sensative pee stick and it came back positive. I still had the bleed continue though so I've been very cautious to even believe it myself. I had my HCG taken today (11 dpt) and it has come back as 683!!! I just can't can't believe it. I am so happy but still on tenderhooks as the bleeding hasn't completely stopped and I still get cramping now and again. My progesterone was 23? Does anyone know if that's ok?

So I guess that means that I've got a     !

I have another bloodtest on Monday to see if the number are climbing.

I just wanted to say a BIG THANK YOU to all the ladies on this thread who have been so kind and supportive.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## RSMUM

OMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!       I just KNEW it Sasha! OOh I've gone all cold and tearful!!!               

Stepan may be able to help you with the Progesterone num,bers - it's something I'm always interested in as I usually do the Gestone injections to make sure I have as much Prog as possible in me - I once went on an internet search about levels in pregnancy but came up with so much conflicting info I gave up! 

I have a feeling the bleeding may be implantantion or loss of one embie perhaps but I soo hope it stops soon so you can at least be a little calmer - I know I was freaking out for most of the pregnancy this last time and only really started to chill out after about week 20  

oh hun I am SO chuffed for you!

all the very, very best for Monday - will be thinkign fo you all weekend - you haev brough such a HUGE      to my face this eveing! woooohoooo!!!!!!!!


----------



## RSMUM

..oh and apologies for the dreadful typing - rushing to get R to bed!

xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Wow Sasha!!! 


Thats fantastic news!!! 

Those HCG levels are great too. 

I'm so pleased for you! 

      

Izzy x


----------



## Rachel

Yipee!!! Well done Sasha    

Enjoy  

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Sasha - congratulations!!!! I have sent you an IM re: the Gestone/progesterone.

Jules xxx


----------



## bluebell

.....and of course from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tooooooooooooooooooooo !! Little Bella is going to have brother or a sister (or both    ) to play with !! Yiipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!      
Sasha you deserve this so much.  Loads of love and good luck with the next test on Monday 
Bluebell xxxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Oh Sasha

I have just seen your wonderful news!!!! I am absolutely thrilled for you.  You have made my day   With those hcg numbers I reckon you could hve 2 on board!!!!

Helen
x


----------



## Sasha B

Thanks Ladies,

I am still trying to get my head around it all.

I went and saw my old consultant today (the one that treated me when I was carrying Bella). He did a transvaginal scan and said that everything looked as it should be for this stage and that he could see no evidence of any areas of blood or anything that caused the bleeding. That was a relief. Now I've just got to wait and see if my numbers are going up ok on Monday and then its the first scan on the 16th.

I'll keep you all updated. I can't bring myself to post as a BFP on this thread until I've seen the heartbeat(s) - silly I know - but I have been brave enough to caluculate that this little one's arrival will be almost spot on his or her dad's 40th birthday. Amazing timing!

Hope you all have a great weekend,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Sasha,

So pleased that you got to see a consultant. Especially because he could do the scan for you. I  wouldn't be suprised if there was more than one in there! Can you remember what your numbers were with Bella? 

We had an email from Serum today and ET should be happening on Fri. Busy booking flight tonight! Ouch!

Hope people are having nice weekends. We went to the Science Museum today and then had a lovely walk in Hyde Park.  Felt nice getting all wrapped up against the cold until we got to the Science Museum where i felt like i was slowly cooking! 

Best Wishes
Izzy x


----------



## radnorgirl

Sasha - It brought tears to my eyes that the due date would be close the Dad's 40th birthday   

Izzy - thinking of you hun on your trip to Serum         Hope you got the flights booked!!

Helen
x


----------



## bluebell

Sasha, that's fantastic news and great that he could put your mind at rest.  Could you see two sacs or one or couldn't you tell ??  I am so pleased and hope that you will be worrying a little less.  How lovely that it will be DH's birthday.  Somehow it means that you can be celebrating together !!  As I mentioned to you in my text, I have been thinking of him too.

Izzy, ET this Friday !  Wow !!  All being well our EC will be on Monday and ET on about Weds, so we will be 2WWers together ... cycle buddies !!  Good luck and hope it all goes to plan.  We are setting off on Friday too ... down to East Mids to leave DD with her Nana and Grandad.  Are you taking your mobile ?  Text me if you get a chance.  Big kisses to your lovely little DS.

RSMUM, thanks for your emails, and hope all OK with you and your girlies !

Loads of love,

Blooobs xxxx


----------



## Newday

Bluebell
will be thinking of you hope all goes well Reprofit are fantastic and Stepan and marek great. 
Love dawn


----------



## bluebell

Thanks Dawn,
That's so sweet of you to think of me with everything you are going through with little squash and pumpkin ! 
Love Bloooobs xxx


----------



## earthe kitt

Sasha - wonderful news - so please for you hooo hooo hhoooo

will be checking in tomorrow

Good luck

Jo  XXX


----------



## Womb with a View

Oh Sasha!!!  I am over the moon for you and Bella!  That's fantastic.....and what a special birthday tribute to her/his Daddy.  I hope the bleeding stops and so glad your guy was able to put your mind at rest.  Good luck hun and I'll be reading your post tomorrow.  Hope the progesterone levels are good too. xxx

Izzy!!!!  Good luck for Friday!!  Fingers crossed.  xx

Bluebell.......sooooooooo excited for you my lovely!  Good luck and I'll be sending you lots of positive vibes. xxxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Izzy and Bloobs and Dawn and Sasha-                 for this week - thinking of you all

XXXX


----------



## Izzy x

Thanks for the   everyone! I've got my flights booked now so thats good. The only worry is that i don't have to have a lining scan at this clinic. I've never come across this before. I just hope that my lining has done what it needs to. My tummy definitely looks larger if thats anything to go by! 

Bluebells, Glad to be cycling with you! i'll be hoping that you get a positive just as much as i hope it for myself! 

Sasha, i've been thinking about you lots. Hope things have gone OK today. It seems that there is always something to worry about. 

Newday, hope things have gone well today for you too. Your fondue party sounds really nice. I am mad about chocolate! 

Hello everyone else.

Best Wishes
Izzy x


----------



## Rachel

Wow! Good luck for Friday Izzy    That was quick! Hope it all goes well for you  

Good luck Bluebell too!    Hope everything goes smoothly for you  

Sasha - I hope everything has gone ok for you today sweetheart   It brought tears to my eyes too when I read about your little one's due date being close to his/her daddy's. How lovely that is  

Love to everyone 

Rachel xx


----------



## Rachel

Helen

Wow! Just looked at your ticker. Can't believe you're 17 weeks already! Where did that time go?!  

Hope all is well with you 

Rachel x


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, just posted good luck wishes to you on Abroadies ... thought I was on this thread !!  
Good luck and great to be cycling with you !!!  You will be a few days ahead of me.  I know what you mean about not being asked for a lining scan.  My thoughts were the same.  I don't think you ever had a lining problem though did you ?
Loads of love,
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Sasha B

Izzy, just wanted to wish you a great journey and lots of    for those lovely embies of yours. We look forward to hearing all about your news and we'll be here for you to   or   during your 2ww.

Bloobs, I will try and give you a quick call before you go but know that I am thinking of you. I'd like to give you some tips on places to see and where to eat in Brno. I found it a fantastic place.

Thanks ladies, for all your kind thoughts. I am trying to take each day as it comes and am signed off from work for the next two weeks. 

Love to you all,

Sasha xxx


----------



## bluebell

Thanks sweetie Sasha !
I will be away when you have your 1st scan, so text me if you can !!
Yes, would be good to chat if we have time before I go.  I have blocked this tx out of my mind until the last week or so, but am feeling really nervous now.
Blooobs xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi everyone, I am just trying to get to know you all by reading all your back posts!!
I have called IVI Valencia for our first appointment and am still waiting for a call back,but it looks like we are definately going to go for it. We have MIL on board to babysit and now just have to join the merrygo round of another ivf cycle. This will be my 7th and very last!!(said this for the last 3 times but I mean it now)

Good luck to you all and I will try to do some personals next time.

Ellie


----------



## RSMUM

hope this works....


----------



## three_stars

Dear Sasha,

I am SO very very happy for you.  WHat a journey you have had to get this far.  And what lovely coincidence for your due date!  I hope your first scan goes well and you have an easy pregnancy.     
Love,

Bonnie


----------



## Sasha B

Thanks Bonnie,

If it is twins you know who I'll be turning to for advice  . Hope you and your children are well. The twins must be growing up fast.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Sasha B

Deb, what a little cutie!!!


----------



## RSMUM

Thanks Sasha - how are you feeling? I am so, so thrilled for you - those numbers do look a little like twins don't they?

Bonnie - how are you doing?

How's everyone else?


----------



## radnorgirl

Debs - totally delicious!!!

Sasha - Hope you are doing OK hun - My money is on it being twins for you........

Ellie - welcome on boards honey - I hope your journey on this thread takes you to your station of choice!

Hi Bonnie - I really should start picking you brains with the twins questions   What are your top tips?

Izzy - I hope things are going well hun - sending you sticky vibes    

Monty has a bug at the moment   - mild cold symptoms and runny bum  In himself he seems fine - the trouble is I am puking every time I have to change a rotten nappy - 5 times yesterdat  I hope I don't get it too

Helen
x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi everyone, finally got my appointment to start 22nd october!!! well that is the first appointment but you have to start somewhere.

Sasha  congratulations!!!  I have to say my levels were very similar with my twins!! and I have to say twins are fab and I would love another set!! hard work but some much fun.

Helen poor you those nappies can really turn your stomach at the best of times. Twins as well!!! as I said twins are fab.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## bluebell

Just popped in to say good luck to the lovely Izzy.  I'll be thinking of you on Friday.  

Skirtgirl, that's great news !!

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Thanks for the lovely well wishes everyone.

Just about to go the the airport so i've got to be quick. 

We have got 7 eggs and 6 embies so far so thats good. Looking at the 3 dt tomorrow. 

Bluebell, hope everything goes really well for you over the next few days. It is soooooo exciting! 

Sasha, hope you are doing OK thin week and finding time to rest. Its good that you are not having to go to work.

Take care everybody...sorry i've no time to mention you all xx
Izzy x


----------



## Sasha B

Dear Izzy,

 and lots of   for your little embies coming your way. Hope ET goes smoothly very tomorrow and your 2ww passes quickly. Thinking of you.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Good luck Izzy!!!

Jules xx


----------



## Womb with a View

Good luck Izzy......that all sounds very, very good.  Thinking of you. xx


----------



## RSMUM

Izzy and Bluebell all the very, very best of luck to you both - thinking of you

D XXXXXXXXXXXXXx


----------



## earthe kitt

Skirtgirl - good luck n your first steps with TX abroad - I wish you all the luck and a happy outcome (or two)

Izzy - please please please get the biggest fattest PPPPP - that would be gr8

Sasha - cor twins (possibly) ...............gulp Youll need an extension! I can advise. I have learned so many hard and expensive lessons over the last few months - I ought to keep a written record - what not to do when getting builders in........maybe there's an idea for a best seller there!!

RSMUM - how cute

This morning as I was going off to work DH had the twins standing on the wondow cill waving me off. They both had fleecy suits over their baby gros (heating has broken down) and had woolly pink hats on - they looked mege cute. I was sat in a traffic jam outside my house and so many other drivers were enjoying the two babes stood in the window waving like mad. 18 months +  really is a brilliant age

I went to see Mamma Mia last night.....

I was Kn*ckered and really didn't feel like it but had to because a friend had dropped in on her way back to Newcastle and I only see her about 2-3 times a year so didn't want to let her down.

Can I seriously recommend this film? - very thin plot but what the heck, brilliant songs, great cinematography, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan.
I sat watching with a big daft grin for most of the film

It was honestly just what I  needed - a major de-stresser

Actually - wondering where I can get a babe sitter so I can go and see it again with DH

Have a good weekend

Jo


----------



## bluebell

Ooooooooh, Jo, you are making me jealous with your nice wallowy evening.

Bye bye Abroadies .. we are off today !

Thinking of Izzy with her ET today.

See you soon, 

Bluebell xxx


----------



## RSMUM

ooh i thought you were having et today hun


xxxxxxx


----------



## Sasha B

*This is for my very special buddy, Bluebell & her Dh.

So so so excited for you. Looking forward to hearing all about your little embies. Lots of sticking     coming your way.*​
love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Bluebell!!!!! Hope that I am not too late to wish you luck!!!! Fingers crossed for you!!!


Jules xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bluebell!!!!!!!!   hun!  Go lady, go.  xxxx


Earthe Kit....lovely to hear from you and what a lovely sight in my mind's eye....your little ones at the window!  x


----------



## bluebell

Thank you lovely abroadies ... you are such stars.
Am feeling numb as a friend of mine has just been round to see us, literally 40 mins before we are due to go, and he found one of our two lovely cats dead in our track (drive).  I have had him for 10 years.  He was such a sweetie.  We've just had to bury him speedily.  DH wasn't home yet so I had to go on my own and see if it was one of ours.  His head was all bashed and his tongue hanging out and mouth open, all covered in blood.  AWFUL.   Had to hide tears from DD.  I'm so sad        and miss him loads already.
Strange way to set off for Reprofit.  Doesn't feel like the best 'karma' for a successful tx.
Thanks for all your good wishes.
I will text soem of you as to how we get on.
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Oh Bluebell, how dreadful for you! So sorry to hear of your loss, my fur babies are one of the family and it is just devastating to lose one. I am sure that it really won't affect your "karma" for tx, it is just rotten bad luck.

Jules xxx


----------



## Sasha B

Bloobs,

I have pm'd you. This won't affect your lovely embies believe you me. I know is sounds wired but despite being in floods of tears during both my successful 2ww, it didn't affect the outcome one little bit. You will miss your fur baby and will still feel the trauma of seeing him after he died, but that is normal. 

I'm still feeling very postive and optimistic about this cycle.

Huge hugs.

Sasha xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Oh Bloobs, how awful for you.  Really sorry this happened darling - I know how much our little darlings mean to us.  Of course you will miss him.  So sorry you were not with DH and just about to go for ET.  It won't affect your chances on little bit.  Where there is a loss there usually follows a gain of some sort.  That's my observation and belief.  Love and hugs to a special person xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Hello Everyone !


Bluebell, So sorry about your cat. Thats an awful shock and its horrible that you had to deal with it yourself. I'm sure these things have no impact what-so-ever on treatment though. I hope things are going really well for you this weekend. I'm sending lots of magic fairy dust to help things along!       (Just added that last symbol because i think its cool! )

I'm home now after our flying visit to Athens. We left home Thurs and returned on Fri! We really liked the clinic although it was a bit scary doing a different protocol. As everyone says...Penny is wonderful! I got a lovely batch of 6 embies (ICSI) which was a record for us. We had 2 put back although Penny really wanted to put 3 back (it was a really difficult decision for us to make). Unfortunately, Serum do not really offer FET so the remaining frosties were wasted. Its quite strange to deal with this after wanting frosties so much on our other cycles.  On the other hand, we felt really blessed that our biggest dialemma was how many frosties to put back. We are truely grateful for what we received. 

So, on to the 2ww. My little boy is at Legoland today with his Daddy and cousins and i'm resting! 

Hope everyone is OK. Not long now for you too WWAV ! 

Thanks for all the well wishes. They mean such a lot. 

Best wishes Everybody
Izzy x


----------



## radnorgirl

Bluebell -    Sorry to hear about your cat. It must have been really difficult for you. In our house DH always has the job of burials. You were incredibly strong keeping yourself composed honey. I hope you are now able to focus on your treatment. Sending you loads of baby dust    .

Izzy - great news about those embies. It does seem strange that Serum don't do FET. I think I would have made the same decision as you and gone for 2 embies being put back rather than 3. When is offical test day?

Helen
x


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Helen,
Test day is the 12th Oct.

By the way....does anyone know if Day 1 is transfer day or the day after? 

Izzy x


----------



## Sasha B

Here is the updated list...

*Bonnie* -    Twins born 21st Feb 08

*RSMUM* -   Baby girl born 15th May 08

*Ms Minerva* -  Feb 08

*SarahElizabeth* -  May 08

*Ali40* -  June 08

*Radnorgirl* -  June 08 - Twins!

*Mandellen* -  September 08

*Sasha* -  September 08

*Izzy* -  Fresh cycle October 08 

*Bluebell* -  Fresh cycle October 08

*Skirtgirl* -  Fresh cycle October 08

*Nats210* -  Fresh cycle October 08

*Marina* -  FET October / November 08

*Rachel* -  Fresh cycle October / November 08

*WWAV* - Hoping to resume tx in 2008 (watch this space)

*Janny* - Watch this space!

*Roze* - An amazing lady whose reached the end of her tx journey but is always welcome here.

*Cat68* -   

Please IM me with any changes xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Izzy, that all sounds positive......very excited for you and really hope this proves to be a bfp for you guys.  Sending you loads of good vibes.  Yes, not long for us - we have the meds!!!!  We haven't go the dough to pay for it yet!  Gulp!  Never mind, where there's a will.......  Good luck Izzy. xx

Thinking of you Bloobs. xx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Izzy - all sounds very good, everything crossed for you!  

WWAV - I am sure that the money will come from somewhere, otherwise there is always the 0% credit card option, if they still do such a thing...wishing you the best of luck!

Sasha- thanks for the list! Scary that I am next!!!  But lovely to see you on the list with your BFP! 


Bluebell - hope that all is going well!

Jules xxx


----------



## nats210

Hello
Izzy fingers crossed for you, hope the 2ww isn't to bad.
Jules wow hasn't that come round quickly i bet you are so excited.

Gulp heard from Ceram yesterday our donor is ready to go so now looking at flights for next week. I can't believe we are really going again my tummy is doing summersaults with nerves. Can't remember all the tips, do you drink pineapple juice on the 2ww & drink gallons of water? Have been nibbling brazil nuts for a couple of weeks. 
Looks like there will be a few of us having cycles in October.
Best of luck to all
nats
xx


----------



## Womb with a View

Nats !!!!!!  Wow that's exciting.....thinking of you.....good luck. xx

Ms Minerva.....that's scarey, isn't it!  Good luck.....just think, you're little one will be in your arms really soon.  xx


----------



## Sasha B

to keep positive about it all but I woke up this morning and the bleeding is still continuing (normally my bleeds only last 24 hours). I have called my consultant and bless him, he is going to try and fit me into his clinic this afternoon and scan me then. I'm only 5+4 and I feel like this last two weeks of bleeding has completely taken it out of me. 

I would really appreciate your  .

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Awww Sasha, no wonder it taken it out of you. You sound like you've got a really supportive consultant there. You must be exhausted by it all. 

I'm sure things will go well this afternoon. As your HCG numbers are high it possibly means twins....and loads of people seem to get bleeding, especially with twins. 

Anyway, i'll send a prayer your way right now and some fairy dust for good measure. 



Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Am thinking of you Sasha.  It's so worrying, as we all know.  Poor you.  Really hope all is ok.   xx


----------



## nats210

Thinking of you Sasha and hoping everything is ok
Nats


----------



## radnorgirl

Thinking of you Sasha. Ihope all is well

xx


----------



## Sasha B

Hi Ladies,

I am exhausted so I will keep this very brief.

Thank you so much for all your kind thoughts. The scan today showed one sac with yolk spot on for 5w4d and another smaller sac which was empty. So I had initially been carrying twins. Although I am very happy to have one healthy and growing little one I couldn't help but cry for the one that I will never meet. 

My consultant was happy with the scan and he said he didn't think the bleeding was related and could not see any blood in my uterus or around either of the sacs. He has given me some extra cyclogest in the hope that this will lessen it somewhat.

Thanks for all your love & prayers,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Hi Sasha,
Really sorry to hear about the loss of your twin. I know it must be hard. I guess you have to take time to grieve and also to enjoy a healthy pregnancy. I know you will be feeling sad, so here's a massive hug. 
  

Take care
xx


----------



## Womb with a View

Dear Sasha, really sorry about the loss of one of your twins.  I hope that time will heal.  I had the same thing happen, although my levels weren't as high as yours, so I think my darling little embie left me quite quickly.  I really hope the bleeding stops.  Thinking of you and really happy for you too.  xx


----------



## Womb with a View

Giggles......I was JUST thinking about you before I posted!!  Ha, ha!  How are you darling?  Often think of you and had a dream last night about you.......being a Mummy.  I   it's a premonition.  xxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Now wouldn't that be nice?! We can but hope! How's your little bundle of fun? Think about you too, my dear! Sending you big hugs xx


----------



## Sasha B

Thanks WAVV and Giggles,

This little one is under strict orders to give mummy no more scares!

Giggly, any news from you? I love the dream WAVV, both my SIL's dreamt I was pregnant the night before my first BFP, so there is definately something in it.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Sasha

Bitter-sweet news for you honey. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your twin. I hope that you are able to focus on the positive - easy to say and difficult to do I imagine.

I bled on and off between 5 weeks and 12 weeks. They never found an explanation for it. They simply told me that some ladies bleed!

WWAV -  it would be great if we could all will your dream into reality!!! I do so hope that it is a sign of things to come!!

Helen
x


----------



## Ms Minerva

Sasha - so pleased that you have one healthy heartbeat, but fully understand your sadness at losing on of  your twins, as the same thing happened to me with this pregnancy, but over a  period of weeks, the heartbeat just got slower.....

Sending you very best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

Giggly, WWAV, Helen, Izzy, Bluebell, Nats, Skirtgirl, Marina, Rachel, thinking of you all.

Jules xx


----------



## Izzy x

Jules, i can't believe your ticker! Wow. Not long at all now. It really doesn't seem like long to me since you got your positive. I bet it feels like longer to you! Hope that you are feeling well and blooming! 

Sasha, many congratulations on your scan. Really sorry about the small sca but really pleased that you've got a good sac as well. xxx


2ww demons are setting in for me. I hate it! At least i can start doing a little bit more today because i'm 4dpt. Its hard to avoid picking little boy up though. I've realised that the first few day are quite exciting because of all the travelling etc. The last days are OK because the end is in sight. Its these 'middle' days when the doubts start to set in. Go away! 

Best wishes everyone
Izzyx

Best wsihes everyone


----------



## Ms Minerva

Izzy, the 2ww is hell, no doubt, I found that it helped to keep busy, same with waiting for the birth now, I am off to make a Christmas cake in a mo, just to keep me busy and to satisfy my nesting instincts!

I am fine, although my hands and feet are all swollen and puffy, not BP related, just oedema.

Jules xx


----------



## Sasha B

Izzy, my love the 2ww is pure torture and there is no other way of describing it! What makes it even harder is that you can't get out and about and do the things that might act as a bit of a destraction. I know it seems like its going to last forever but you will get through it. We're all here for you.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## nats210

Sasha delighted your saw 1 heartbeat but so sorry for your twin at this time you must have mixed emotions. Take care and lets hope this little one behaves themself.

Izzy the 2ww is torture will be joining you very shortly hang on in there. I am wondering how I will cope with my 15 month old & picking him up etc.

Well flights booked today still can't believe we are really going this weekend just feel like we are going to Spain for a bit of sunshine.
daft I know.

Love to all
Nats
x


----------



## Sasha B

I have started to bleed heavily this evening and there are many dark clots. Its all over for me. I am so devastated. I can't stop crying. After all I've been through to get to this stage and now to have it so cruely taken away. I'm not sure I am strong enough.

I want to thank you all for your love, support and friendship but I won't be posting on FF for a while, it is too raw. Maybe someone else can take over the running of this thread.

love,

Sasha x


----------



## RSMUM

I've posted on another thread - just wanted to let you know we're all here for you whenever you need us - i'll im you my number - take care as best you can - you are a very, very special lady and a have been such a wonderful support to us all for so long -       

xxxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Sasha, I'm so sorry to hear this. Is it worth getting a scan again to see if this is bleeding from the sac that wasn't viable? Just a (prob.b.stupid) suggestion from someone who's never been where you are now, so apologies if you're thinking 'don't you think I've thought of that...'

Sending you massive hugs, hun, and very much wishing I didn't have to.
love
Giggly
xx


----------



## Womb with a View

So so sorry Sasha.  Really upset for you and I know how devastated you must be.  I really can't believe this is happening when things looked positive.  You are, as someone else has said, such a special person and a strong one too, although that doesn't feel that way right now.  Sending you my special thoughts of healing and love.  I hope you are totally wrong and find your embie is still with you.  xxxxxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Sasha - really hoping that the bleeding is from the lost embie and that your other embie is still with you. Any chance of getting a scan before you stop the meds? Sorry if this seems obvious and crass, you just so deserve a happy outcome after all that you have been through.    

Jules xx


----------



## radnorgirl

Sasha - sending you huge   .

I really hope it is not all over for you. I agree with Jules that it is worth getting another scan before stopping the meds. The clots make it very scary. When I was bleeding they explained to me that the clots are just bits of blood that have pooled and congealed - it does not mean that solid bits are coming away from the lining of the womb.

Like everyone else I am thinking of you and   for you

Helen
x


----------



## Womb with a View

Of course, Ms Minerva is probably right - this may be the empty sac coming away.  I really   all is ok.  Thinking of you. x


----------



## crusoe

Sasha

I'm sorry I can't offer any useful advice but I can send a hug.  

My thoughts are with you.

Love Crusoe
xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Sasha, I have only just joined your journey but am so sorry that this is happening for you.
Please get some medical advice.


----------



## nats210

Sorry to read your news Sasha praying like everyone else that this is the other twin and all is still ok.
Big hugs
xx


----------



## roze

After reading yesterdays events I do not know what to say. Too upset for words. I am so very very sorry Sasha.

roze


----------



## nats210

Thinking of you Sasha
Izzy hope you are doing ok when do you test?

Well just going to pack our bags, flying out tomorrow. I had a scan yesterday to check lining all looks good really brought it home to me we are actually going tomorrow. It's strange but it is exactly 2 years since we went last time, there is only 24hrs difference in the dates.

Hope you all have a good week
take care
nats
x


----------



## Womb with a View

Good luck Nats!  Sending you a heap of positive vibes.  x

Sasha.....thinking of you too.      x


----------



## Marina

Oh Sasha so very sorry thinking of you at this sad time


----------



## RSMUM

Nats - best of luck hun   was it 2 years ago then that i met you?wow!

Sasha - if you read this,I am still thinking of you - my heart goes out to you hun  

Izzy and bloob - how are you both doing?

and wwav..how are you?

and Helen..i am so sorry, i know i owe you a pm..hope you are ok..

how's everyone else?

I haven't felt like posting much as, like all of us, my thoughts have been with Sasha - it is so, so sad..but i know she'll be wanting us all to carry on posting and supporting each other....

take care, all of you,

Deb xxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Nats - good luck!

Izzy and Bluebell- how are you doing?

Sasha - thinking of you.

Hello to all!

Feeling very tired at the moment, glad that I don't have long to go!!!!

Jules xx


----------



## Izzy x

Sasha, Like everyone, i am thinking of you and hope that you are OK. I'm so sorry that you are going through such a very, very hard time. You are such a strong lady. 


I just thought i would add my news. I got a bfp yesterday at 8dpt. I'll not have the beta done until Tuesday. I am excited but very, very nervous. So far i have had 4 bfp and 1 baby so i'm sure you'll understand the nerves. 
On Fri, i had my follow up appointment for the m/c i had in the summer. the consultant seemed to think that it is usually due to the embie so i hope that was it. My consultant always seems pretty facinated with us.....i guess (like everyone here!) we have quite a story to tell! 

Anyway, sending all my positive vibes to Bluebell now. Really hope this works for you xxx. I've had a few texts from Bluebell and it sounds like ET has gone well. I'm sure she will update you as soon as she is back. 

Take care everyone and special thoughts again to you Sasha. 

Izzy x


----------



## Marina

Izzy

Congrats to you so happy for you 

Hope you have a high beta 

Also good luck to Bluebell   and sorry to read about your cat I have 5 fur balls so I know only to well how it feels to lose them the same happened to one of mine several years ago she was only 3 

Love

Marina


----------



## Dibley

Oh ladies sorry to have to share this news.

I've been in touch with Sasha over the last few days...and she has asked me to update you all.
Unfortunately the bleeding didn't stop and when she went for another scan she was told that her other little beanie had died too   At the end of last week she had to have an ERPC   Of course, the poor love is utterly devastated - please keep her in your thoughts &   at this difficult time. She doesn't feel she can log on to FF at present but says thank you for all your support during the last few weeks  

Sasha - you're such a lovely, gentle lady and what you are going through is so unfair and cruel   Gentle    I'm always here for you hun  

Love Dibley x


----------



## Marina

I have been reading through Sorry

I wanted to say good luck to Nats   hope you have a nice crop and a BFP 

XX


----------



## Dibley

Izzy,

Congratulations hun    
 that everything goes smoothly for the next 8 months! 

Love Dibs x


----------



## Newday

Sasha

I am so very very sorry lovely I just don't know what to say to make things better take care of yourself love
dawn


----------



## radnorgirl

Oh Sasha darling. Life is so cruel and unfair. I am so sorry hun.   

Helen
x


----------



## Izzy x

Sasha, really so sorry. I was hoping it wasn't going to be this way. My thoughts are with you. I took time out from posting after my m/c in the summer and then eventually felt ready to post again. Just take some time and you'll know when you start to feel stronger.  Just remember that we are all there for you. xxx

Izzy xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Izzy - congratulations on your bfp. 8dpt is pretty early for a bfp so it sounds like a good strong implantation, but it is totally understandable that you are nervous. How many days old were the embies when they put them back?

Good luck for your beta on Tuesday.

Good luck to Nats. I hope everything is going well for you. Looking forward to hearing your news.

Helen x


----------



## Ms Minerva

So very, very sad to hear the very sad news about Sasha, it is just so unfair. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Jules xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Izzy - huge congratulations!! A BFP after only 8 days is very good news!

Bluebell - hope that ET went well, thinking of you.

Jules xxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Hiya- OMG!!! Izzy! I'm going to give you a ring in the next day or so.... how lovely!
Speak soon
xx


----------



## Izzy x

LISA ! 

Your ticker shows that you have fab news for us all! 

Dh and i are so pleased for you. 

I have IM'ed you and look forward to speaking to you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Izzy  congratulations on the bfp!!!!!

Bluebell hope all went well.

Sasha I am so so sorry for you.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Womb with a View

So sorry dearest Sasha.  This must be very hard for you and it's so unfair.  You take good care of yourself and although I know you're not logging in for now, I hope you feel all the love we're sending you from this site.  Thanks Dibley for letting us know the sad news.  Love to Sasha.  xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Izzy!   That's fab news darling.  Fingers and legs crossed that this goes really smoothly for you!  Enjoy. xx

Giggles!!!!!!  I kinda had a promonition didn't I!!!!?  Yippppppeeeeeeee!  So pleased for you guys.  xxx

Bloobs - hope all is going well. xx


----------



## bluebell

Just a quick post from me from Brno.
Sasha has been texting me her news.  I am heartbroken for you my lovely.  I will be in touch as soon as we get back.  It hurts me so much to know what you are going through.  So so very sorry.     
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Izzy !!!!!  Faberoony news, and such an early test too.  I am so happy for you.  Seems only 5 mins since you texted me jsut after your et !!!  WOW !!

Giggles too.  i am over the moon for zou.  Cant wait to catch up when we get back.

As for us, I am healthily pessimistic as usual.  We got 8 eggs from our donor, but only 4 fertilised. Then we lost one more, so we ended up with only 3.  One of the 3 is a slow developer and may have given up by now, so we had 2 embies put back, both grade 1, but terrifzing that this really is our last chance, as almost certainlz no frosties. We have a friend here in Brno who has been showing us around 9e.g.lovely horseriding in the forests before et, but i feel that we have been overdoing it now since et, e.g. longish walks etc.  I always do this, and then regret it, ie feel i should have been chilling out more. 

Love to zou all, and extra hugs again for Sasha if zou are reading.

Sorrz about all the z§s = dodgz chyech kezboard.

Bluebell xxx


----------



## Ali40

Hi Ladies

Sorry haven't been on for a while - but wondered if anyone has heard from Mountainlion?  Her little one must be due around now??

Sasha - was so sorry to read your news my heart really goes out to you.

Izzy - congrats what was the beta?

BB - good luck those embies sound tip top.

Hi to everyone else.

Alison .....


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone 

We're back from holiday and I am doing my best to catch up with everything but not getting there very quickly   

Sasha - Huge hugs my lovely   Thinking of you lots and sending you lots of love and strength  

Izzy - Great news hun!  

Bluebell - I am praying for you for a positive outcome      

Giggly - Congratulations!   Enjoy  

Will catch up properly asap. We had a great holiday and had a lovely visit to the clinic so that they could meet the girls! It was lovely to see the wonderful Ruth again. Dh's sperm sample was fine and they've frozen it ready for next month so I am now praying that it thaws ok   I don't want a repeat of last time and having to come home with nothing again  

Lots of love to everyone and another huge hug for Sasha  

Rachel xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi Everyone,

Bluebell glad you have your 2 lovely embies on board now, keep them safe an I hope you get a BFP soon.

Rachel good news about DH's sample, hope things go well next month.

I am just back from IVI Valencia. They were great and treated us very well. As I was already on the pill and almost at the end of a pack they gave me my decepeptyl(?) shot there and then!! so I am well on the way now.  The only downside is there was a problem with freezing DH's sample so he needs to be there on ec day! which would mean us being over there for 5 days. This may be difficult as I am not sure mil could manage 5 days with my 2 and bil is expecting a baby around the same time!!! but then it wouldn't be an IVF cycle if it ran smoothly would it??

Hope everyone else is doing well.


----------



## RSMUM

Izzy - huge, huge, huge congrats hun             can understand you being cautious though - are you getting a beta done? day 8 is soooo early isn't it though?fantastic news!!

bloob - thinking of you hun - hope the 2ww madness isn't too bad


----------



## Skirtgirl

Did anyone have AF really soon after decapetyl? I had mine 2 days ago and have all the signs of it starting already??


----------



## Izzy x

Bluebell: Hope your 2ww is going OK. Not sure if you are back from your trip yet. Sounds like you made the most of it! Don't worry about doing to much. i think that if you feel relaxed mentally, it is the best thing you can do for the baby. Not always possible on the 2ww as i experienced this time! Anyway, thinking of you and hope things are going ok.

Skirtgirl: I haven't got any experience with those drugs so i can't help you i'm afraid. I'm sure someone will know some answers. 

Sasha: I know you are having break but you are a huge part of this thread so i thought i would send you my best wishes. i hope that you have rested up after the procedure. I had one done in the summer and it did take a little while for my body to recover. Thinking of you xx If you need someone to take over the list for a while to give you a rest....i don't mind doing it. 

Rachel: Glad you had a lovely and productive (!) holiday. I bet ruth loved seeing the girls. She really made a fuss of my little boy when we took him in earlier in the year. It must be great to see what a difference you are making to people's lives. hope things go really well for you over the next few weeks. I'm sure you won't come away with nothing. you were just really unlucky with the defrosting. I think they freeze them differently now but i guess that doesn't help those of us that visited a couple of years ago. At least we got our wonderful successes. 

Ali, nice to hear from you. i haven't heard from mountainlion. your ticker seems to be moving so fast! 

hello everyone else. Hope you have a lovely weekend xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had my HCG reading back today. It was 380 for 14dpt (17dpec). Penny says its fine so i'm on the wait for the first scan now in a couple of weeks. Wish i could feel like this is going to turn into a baby. 

Best wishes everybody
Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Hello Skirt Girl.  I only have had a decepaptyl type injection once as my previous protocols have been different, so no the best person to advise, but I think you need to talk to your clinic to see what they were expecting.  Maybe they only wanted you to downreg for a short time due to timing with your donor ?  Sorry can't help more.

RSMUM, thanks for your lovely text support.  Sorry didn't get a chance to phone today .. toddler taking up all my time !  Will try over the w/e.

Izzy, hoping all still well with you.

WWAV, hope the preps are going well for your Xmas cycle.  I am so excited for you.  Would love to see more photos of your little one.

Rachel, hoping your DH's snow swimmers (or if it is ice would they have to play ice hockey ?) are OK.  I am sure the clinic wouldn't have suggested freezing if they weren't really optimistic.  Good luck to you.

Hello Ali, Jules and dawn and anyone I've missed.

Giggles are you still wallowing up there on Cloud 9 ?

Last, but certainly not least, I had a very long chat with Sasha the other evening.  She sends you all her love.  Being the lovely and unselfish person that she is, she was worried you would all think she was being rude not posting.  I put her right there !!   .  She just needs a bit of space from the boards, but will be back soon.  She is still feeling utterly devastated, but still sounded strong, focussed and determined as ever.

Bluebell xxxx

PS I hate the 2WW


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, our posts crossed.  FAB news about your HCG !!            

I will be sending the stickiest holdyonnytighty vibes for you little one(s).  I know how nerve wracking it is, and how a BFP doesn't feel like a BFP after m/cs.  Hang in there, and we are all here for you.

Bloooooobs xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Just a quickie......

Sasha, I know you're taking time out which is understandable and I just wanted you to know we're thinking of you.  xxxxxx

Bloobs........hope the 2ww is going swiftly for you my dear and wishing you a BFP.  Thanks for your lovely post and thoughts for me. xxx

Izzy.....fab reading. xxx

RS Mum - thanks for your lovely text.  I'm ok - been better, but very nearly having tx again....not long now.  Frightening.  Hope you and yours are well.  xx

Safarigirl.....hope you and your angel are well.  xx

Earthe Kit - hope the gang are well.  xx

Skirt - good luck with everything.  xx

Ms Minerva - not long now darling.  xx

Sorry, rushed, but thinking of you all.  Love, me. x


----------



## bluebell

Morning everyone,
Just to let you know I had a bleed last night, albeit small, so fearing the worst.    Never had bleeding this early (it was only 8dpt).  Clinic has told me to up doses of estrogen and progesterone. 
Not looking good, but vague chance could be implantation bleed.  Will just have to wait. I have never tested early in the past, but may buckle this time.  It depends what happens.
Wish me luck, and sorry for the me post. 
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Rachel

Huge massive enormous positive thoughts and vibes coming your way Bluebell      

I had bleeding on day's 8 and 10 when in 2ww from the girls' cycle so I am praying that this is what yours is      

Lots of love and hugs 

Rachel xxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Bluebell

Sorry to hear about the bleeding - It's so worrying isn't it. Please try not to fear the worst - I could be wrong but I thought that because this is a medicated cycle and you are taking progesterone that this is nothing to do with AF. 8dpt - it could well be implantation bleeding - the timing is right. I have everything crossed for you honey       

Izzy -  Great news no the HCG levels - I am glad to hear that you managed to get it sorted in the end.


Hello to everyone else

Helen
x


----------



## crusoe

Bluebell -my only BFP ever came from a cycle with bleeding on day 9 post transfer so I am very hopeful for you.

Thanks for the update on Sasha.

Love to all on this thread.

Crusoe
xxx


----------



## mini-me

Bluebell,

Sorry to hear about your small bleed, it's worrying isn't it?   

However, I do agree with what the other's have said.  I had brown spotting (old blood really) with this cycle before testing and this is the only successful one.  I had nothing with my BFN's.
Timing is right for implantation bleeding.    


Sorry haven't been posting recently - will do a more detailed post soon, hopefully tomorrow, just wanted to send positive vibes to Bluebell.

Love mini-me
xxx


----------



## bluebell

Thank you .... you are all so sweet and I feel so cared for !
I am panicking as my two BFP cycles I had bleeding day 11, not day 8, and also I have had 2 symptoms that I had when I m/cd, ie lower back pain and the squits (sorry tmi!!).  
It's so stressful.  Wish I had a fast forward button. I am virtually pacing up and down !  Took DD to a film for a distraction .... lovely French film about a littel girl and a fox, but DD didn;t like it and within 5 mins was sayint "I don't like this programme. I want to go home.  I am not intereseted !".  She whined alll the way through - really relaxing ! .... not !

Hola, great to hear from you.  Please stay in touch and don't desert us !!  

Thanks to Rachel, Mini-me, Crusoe, Skirtgirl and Helen for your support.

I bought early response pee sticks today, but I have never tested early.  I don't like the idea that an early BFN isn't conclusive and leads to days of heartache still atking the drugs and hoping for a different result, so I might still try to hold out to test date if I can.

Love to everyone,
Blooobs xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Oh bloobs - I have been thinking of you lots - I hope the bleeding has stopped now - I wouldn't freak out too much about the symptoms ( ha! easy for me to say I know! the 2ww madness is just completely crazy - I know ) cos this is a different cycle with different meds isn't it? God, I really know what you mean by pacing about - I soo wish we lived nearer - want to give you a HUGE hug ..had to laugh though at you French film story - I found an old diary the other day and I was writing about going to B and Q with Dh and R when I was on a 2ww and she was about the same age - it was a disaster - he did bugger all while I ran around the shop after her and tried to cope with her tantrums - what a daft thing to do with a 2yr old anyway - what was I thinking?!


----------



## radnorgirl

Bloobs - hang on in there honey. I used the first response early tests this time and I think they are the best hpts I have ever used. I tested on 11dpec and there was no disputing the line but the day before I used a cheapo "ultra sensitive" ebay test which came up negative.

I saw the film that you are talking about advertised on the tele  and quite fancied it myself - saying that it must be nearly 3 years since I have benn to the cinema. (Note to self - get a life!!!!)

Helen
x


----------



## RSMUM

Helen - I've been to the cinema but only to see kids films  great fun though - has anyone heard of these cinemas where they do special mums and babies sessions? what a great idea! how are you doing H? hope you are ok - have you got another scan coming up soon?

bloobs - hope u r ok today

xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell you must be going mad. How many more days do you have to wait?
My dd would talk constantly at the cimema so that is why she has never been!


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs really hope the bleeding has stopped as it must be terribly concerning for you.  I echo what others have said - it may well be spotting re implantation.  8dpt is early to have a menstrual cycle.  Do what you feel is in your heart.....if it's the hpt then do it, but if you're not sure please wait as, as you say, it'll only make things worse.  Wishing the 2ww away for you and hoping and praying for a bfp. xxx


----------



## bluebell

Thanks everyone,
I am feeling as balanced as I could be, ie the bleed could be implantation bleeding, but I know from searching the boards that it could just as easily be AF arriving and being held at bay by the drugs. I have read on here that AF can arrvie eraly in cycles as the normal pattern has been utterly thrown !
Sooooo, that means I have just the same chance really as after et, so it is just a waiting game again now.  I resisted testing this morning.
Love to you all.
Izzy, is all OK with you ?
Bloooobsxxxxxx
PS The girl and the fox is a beautiful film.  I cried nearly all the way through - but then I have the excuse I am pumped with drugs !!!!  Just not for toddlers ... more like maybe 5 plus.  Too sad and slow and moody for toddlers - very French.


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Bluebell,

You are so good to keep away from the pee sticks. I'm glad you did some research and found some possible answers. I think it always helps to know what you are dealing with. I'm sure you are being driven mad by the waiting on the 2ww. I'm not a patient person and its awful every time.  Thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxx


We've had a day out today to celebrate my little boys 2nd Birthday. The pleasure on his face all day was unbelievable (we went to Thomasland!). 

Take care everyone (especially Bluebell!)
Izzy x


----------



## nats210

Hello

Thank you for your good luck wishes we arrived back today so now on the 2ww. We had 2 embies put back on Friday & 6 were frozen which we are really pleased with. Now trying to ignore every twinge, luckily the little one will keep me busy over the next week. 

Izzy delighted to read your news, sounds like you had a great day out.

Bluebell fingers crossed for you, the waiting is so hard it can drive you nuts.

Gigglygirl i was so pleased to read your news I wish you all a happy 8 months.

Sasha thinking of you

Love to all
nats
x


----------



## Womb with a View

Nats, that's very promising news!  I hope your little babes are digging in as we speak and that the 2ww flies by!  Good luck and       xx


----------



## Rachel

Izzy x said:


> We've had a day out today to celebrate my little boys 2nd Birthday. The pleasure on his face all day was unbelievable (we went to Thomasland!).


Hi izzy

We went there for the girls 2nd birthday too! It's great isn't it  I really enjoyed tall the rides myself too!!

Hope he had a great 2nd birthday 

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Rachel

For Bluebell  

         

         

         

Thinking of you sweetheart 

Love, Rachel xxxxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Nats - That's excellent news hun. Sending you sticky vibes        and hoping that the 2ww passes quickly for you.

Bluebell - I agree with the others - you are doing brilliantly tostay away from the pee sticks        .

Izzy and Rachel - I did not know that there was a Thomasland. Gonna look it up on the net now!!

Helen
x


----------



## bluebell

Nats that's wonderful !  What a bumper crop !  Hope the 2WW doesn't drag too much for you.

Izzy, so glad your littlie enjoyed his 2nd birthday !  I would love to see some photos.

Well, red blood and a clot for me last night, so things not looking good at all.  Settled to brown again this morning, but it certainly doesn't feel right.  Implantation bleeding isn't normally bright red, but brown or pink.  Still resisted testing - couldn't stand a BFN that wasn't a certain BFN.  Supposed to be working today but feeling far too distracted.  I felt yesterday that I wanted to wave a white flag and say "Help, someone rescue me, I just can't do this".  It's all so horrible.  

Love to all,
Bluebell xxx


----------



## nats210

Oh Bluebell why is it so hard this rollercoaster, we constantly are either on a high or very low low.  I will kepp fingers crossed for you and send bigs hugs.
love
Nats
xx


----------



## roze

Hi all,

Bluebell,thinking of you lots at this time. As others have said 8dpt  is early for AF to start especially as you are on so many hormone support meds. I truly hope that this is just one of those odd things that happen and that you have your so wanted BFP.

I will be keeping everything crossed. 

All my love,


roze  xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Oh Bloobs, I woke up thinking of you and just logged on to see if you'd posted.  I really hope this isn't what you think it is.  So sorry you're going through this.  You are such a lovely person and a wonderful Mummy, we all love you so keep that in your heart and know that when you wave that white flag someone will know it energetically and be there with you.       xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Bluebell,
I've also woken up and thought of you this morning! I hope that you are OK. I know what you mean about waving the white flag. All of this takes so much extra energy out of you.  You've got an excellent way of putting things. 
Take care and take heart in the fact that the 2ww is nearly over. 

Izzy xxxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Now you lot have made me cry!  You are not allowed to be so nice !!    

WWAV, you are so kind.  Can you see my white flag now ?  Fancy joining me for a walk in the snowy sunshine ?  I'm looking out of the window and there is a huge dollop of icing sugar snow on 'our hill'.  

Izzy, been thinking of you too loads.  How are you coping with this next '1st trimester wait' ?  It's almost like th 2WW all over again isn't it ?  Are you on half term this week, so that you can relax a bit ?

Roze,    , so good to hear from you.  I would love to hear your news, an how things are with you.  it is so lovely of you to post.  PM me with your news !

Nats, thank you lovely.  Hope your embies are burrowing away nicely.

Rachel, thank you too for being there for me.  Like the others you are so kind.

Bluebell xxxxxxxx


----------



## Bel

Bluebelle Hun,

Thinking of you sooo much. Hang in there honey. The 2ww is the worst time. 

Keeping everything crossed for you,xxx


Izzy - Congratualtions!! Great news.xx

Giggly - I am absolutely over the moon with your news. Love your ticker. You deserve this sooo much. Looking forward to seeing you soon,

Lots of love to all,
Bel,x


----------



## RSMUM

Just logging on to see how sweet bluebell is doing...  ..jealous of you with lovely snow, we have hail and horrid slush


----------



## Womb with a View

Still thinking of you Bloobs and yes, I often imagine our hill and what it looks like through the seasons!  Give your angel and squeeze from me.  I hope you're pulling through this ghastly 2ww.  Let's   it's a different story this time. xxxx

Bel - so lovely to see you post.  I don't get time to keep up with other threads and often wonder how you are.  xx

Roze xxx


----------



## bluebell

Hello everyone,

Just to let you know that there's been no fresh bleeding for me since Sunday - just brown stuff.  
Testing on Halloween !!       

Also to let you know that I am in touch with lovely Sasha, and she sounds a bit stronger each time.

Love to you all,
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Great to hear the bleeding has stopped!! Fingers crossed for you on friday.

Good to hear about Sasha she must be going through hell at the moment.


----------



## nats210

Great news Bluebell not long now for you. I test next week either bloods Tuesday or pee Thursday not sure which i will do yet. I must be a bit strange as i would rather not know and just carry on in ignorant bliss (well not exactly bliss).  
love to all
nats
x


----------



## Womb with a View

I'm thinking of you Bloobs and will be sending you lots of positive vibes for Friday.     xxxx

Nats - I know what you mean about being blissfully ignorant!  Stay chilled, you're doing a good job.  Good luck.  xx


----------



## bluebell

Nats I know what you mean about the ignorant bliss !  
I am working form home this week and partly haven't tested as if it is a BFN I would just think f**ck work and not be bothered about doing any.  I have next week off to pick up whatever pieces I may have to pick up !
Blimey, your testing seems to be coming around quickly.  Other people's 2WWs always go much faster !!!  
Take care,
Blooobs xxx


----------



## bluebell

WWAV our posts crossed.  Thanks for being there for me as always !  
Bloobs xxx


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone 

Bluebell - Good news that the bleeding has stopped   Have everything crossed for you for Friday   

Nats - I never wanted to test either! While it was 2ww time at least there was a chance that I was pg! Ignorance is great, not sure about bliss!! Good luck   

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxx


----------



## nats210

It does seem to be coming round quickly will be 11dpt or 13dpt, they were 3 days old. Trying not to do to much but not that easy with 15 month old, can't wait to pick him up he doesn't understand what's happening when his little arms go up to me & I bend down to him. 
Fingers crossed
xx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Thinking of you 2wwers, and wishing you both BFPs....    

Bloobs, I know you have been knicker knockering for Scotland so I'm so relieved your bleeding had stopped. It is soooo scary, I have more of an idea of how it feels now, even though it is second hand. I hope so much for a BFP for you , DH and the lovely Ria. xxxx I know exactly what u mean about work as well though- it is just too much to expect to concentrate much! I'm thinking seriously of becoming a bag lady instead of teaching, thank God it is half term- am certainly only spending most of my time looking scaggy in joggers with greasy hair! All I need is a mangy dog and a hat.  

loads of love
Scabby Giggly
xx


----------



## bluebell

A bit of nice Halloweeny news for you all.....
.....   for me last night with pee stick !
I  am sitting here far more scabbily than you Giggles ... stretched old joggers, T-shirt full of holes and rotting old walking socks ... too distracted and scared to do anything constructive !!!
Baggy Boggin BFP Bluebell  xxxx


----------



## Bel

Hi Bluebelle!

Congratulations hun!! You deserve this, I know it's hard, but please try and enjoy today!

Lots of love,

Bel,xxx


----------



## Rachel

Oh wow!!! I burst in to tears when I saw your news Bloobs!! Happy ones of course!

So VERY chuffed for. Enjoy every minute. You've worked so hard to get here                

You've made my day!

Lots of love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## crusoe

Whey Hey Bluebell - what a day!!!!

Huge congratulations and huge congratulatory hugs to you. I am soooooooooooooooooooo pleased.              

You lucky lot at home - I'm at work wearing my coat and scarf as it is so cold. I work in an office of fresh air fiends!!

Lots of love
crusoe
xxx


----------



## Bel

Crusoe,

I'm with you, as usual working but in a lovely warm office as it is mine only and I am always cold!

Great news, really looking forward to meeting you on Saturday,

XX


----------



## bluebell

Thank you sweeties !    
Bloobs xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Congratulations!!!!!!! Enjoy being pregeers again!!!!


----------



## radnorgirl

Oh Bluebell - what wonderful news. That is just fantastic   

It has given me a real lift after a couple of trully horrible days. On Tuesday Monty had a seizure. I ended up giving him CPR as I was not sure if he had stopped breathing when the fit stopped.He ended up being rushed to hospital by ambulance. He was being examined by the the doctor when he had a second fit - this time it lasted nearly 10 minutes. Afterwards the little fella was screaming for ages and totally out of it. We spent the night in hospital. They think it was febrile convulsions caused by a sore throat. I was extreemly grateful that he was discharged yesterday. He is still very much out of sorts and it looks like he is heading for another burst eardrum but it it good to be back home.

Helen
x


----------



## three_stars

Bluebell-- sp very happy for you!!  Congrats!!!!

Helen.  That sounds so frightening. Poor little guy!  Glad you are all home as I know the hospital is no fun , especially PG and for the little ones.

Love, bonnie


----------



## safarigirl

helen how worrying for you, so glad everything is okay - i so admire you for giving cpr (memo to self get some first aid knowledge!!!!)  big hug to monty

listen - bluebell and giggly - seeing as you are both up the duff so to speak, you can lounge around in scabby clothes, for goodness sake thats what this 9 months wait is all about!


----------



## Jaydi

Helen I'm sorry to hear about little Monty.  What a time you have had - big hugs to you all.    I'm glad he is back home now.  Fabby cake 

Love to all here  

Congratulations Bluebell!!!  

Jaydi xxx


----------



## mini-me

Helen - sorry to hear about little Monty.  Glad you're back at home and I hope he feels better soon. Love and hugs  

Bluebell - I had a good feeling about you, congratulations!  


Love mini-me
xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Woo-hoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Newday

Bluebell Congratulations

dawn


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi can anyone answer a stupid question for me?

I started AF on sat and took progynova. I am still bleeding but not as much as usual, It says on my chart from the clinic to phone if I bleed on progynova but I assumed my period would last a week as normal am I right or is something going wrong??


----------



## roze

Bluebelll!  Hooray!  I see the Pee Stick Police met their match!

all the best,


roze  xxx


----------



## nats210

Yippeeeeeeeeeee Bluebell fantastic news I am so pleased for you. enjoy the next 8 months!

Helen How scary glad to see he is back home with you now. Take care
Nats
xx


----------



## bluebell

Helen,
How terrifiying for you with little Monty.  You acted incredibly bravely, and well done for knowing what to do !
I hope he is much more settled now.
Lots of love,
Bluebell xx


----------



## RSMUM

Helen - that must have been an absolutely terrifying experience. I'm so glad he's back home now. I'm not sure I would know what to do in an emergency like that. How frightening!

Skirtgirl - did you contact your clinic? 

nats - how are you holding up?

Just got back from a Halloween disco - great fun! The little one slept the whole time but my ears are ringing so I'm worrying about hers - I'd forgotten how loud discos actually are! 

Better go - DD is hassling to get on the computer - at 22:20! Lucky it's half term!

XXto you all


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs!!!!!!  That is the best news I've had in ages and ages!  Darling, I'm soooooo happy for you!  You can look like a scaggy bag if you want, you're entitled to it!  I'm delighted for you.  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Helen, that's an awful thing to have happened to your little one, so sorry you all had to go through that.  You must be so worried.  Has the doctor given him the all clear?  Poor little mite.  Oh dear.  xxxxx


----------



## Misty C

I'm a little slow these days in finding you all!

Congratulations Bluebell, I am so happy to read your news!

Helen, hugs to you and Monty x

A big halloween   hello to everyone. 

Misty C
x


----------



## HEM

Bluebell Congratulations!!! Wonderful news for you

Helen xx


----------



## radnorgirl

Thanks for all your kind messages for Monty. This morning he seems back to his old self - currently busy throwing the ball for the dog. We are going to go and see the consultant that he is under since his first seizure when he was 5 weeks old but in all honesty I am not worried that there is anything seriously wrong. The hospital gave me some rectal diazipan to administer if he has another seizure that lasts for more than 5 minutes - because he has had a couple he may just be prone to them. We are also due to see the ENT consultant in November. I think that the little fella is likely to end up having another grommit and eventually have his tonsils out. We have to be grateful that we are already in the system for all of these things and most importantly that there is nothing seriously wrong.

Bloobs are you getting a HCG done hun?

Helen
x


----------



## Grumpygirl

Helen- so glad to hear Monty is seeming more his old self, must have been really scary for you. Can't believe how far along you are already! Please tell me it flies by....  

Bloobs!!! Loved chatting last night, you never fail to make me laugh. I'm soooooooooo pleased for you, my lovely! Here's to a completely uneventful pregnancy from here on in. Good luck for your beta.    

love
Giggly
xx


----------



## bluebell

Hello everyone.
Got my beta back today - 194.  This might sound OK, but I am 15 dpt, and with my cycle with DD my clinic then got me to test 12 dpt and my level then was 481.  This is a massive difference.  By day 15 that 481 beta would have been 2,000 plus !  I know that it does make a difference depending on whether it was an early implantation or not, and whether it is twinnies or not,  but even so this ain't looking too rosy.  
I had really hoped for a decent beta so that I could relax this weekend.  Now I have to wait until Tuesday for another beta.  My clinic here were funny about giving me a 2nd beta as they said they don't normally do this.  However, they have agreed to do it.
Sorry for the ultra me post - seem to be doing a lot of them at the mo.
A very nervous Bloobs xxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

You go for all the me posts you like, Bloobs. It sounds like a good beta to me, hun, but then I'm a bit clueless. I'm sure there are lots of people on here who had much lower betas than that and went on to have healthy babies. I know you will be worried, so I'm sending you loads of anti-worry hugs.
xxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs, I know this won't put your mind at rest, but, my beta was 197.  I had two sacs, but one was empty.  What my UK clinic did was up my progesterone and I had massive injections (gestone).  Perhaps this is what's needed, if anything.  My UK clinic arranged a blood test for the level of progesterone I was producing and that's how they decided to give me Gestone.  Perhaps arranging bloods to monitor your progesterone and other hormones would help.  Of course, it may be perfectly ok of course and a beautifully normal and healthy pregnancy.  Me posts by you are more than welcome!  xxxxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Bloobs - with Monty my hcg was 134 - 14 days after EC. 

The following website may be of help

www.betabase.info

Helen
x


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs!!!  Your inbox is full.  Hope you received my email, as I'm not sure you've changed your email address since we last spoke.  Love to you. xx


----------



## nats210

Bluebell I know you are nervous but i think your beta is a good number, i have read of a lot lower and the pg continuing without any problems.

Feel tired tonight little one had a Halloween party, amazing last year the babies just layed on the floor gazing at the decorations this year they were running around keeping us all on our toes. Strange a friend asked me if i was pg today, said I was glowing and boobs looked bigger, i put it down to running around & new bra not going to rad anything into it we have to many coincidences going on, This weekend we are going to see some friends who we spent the weekend with 2 years ago when I found out I was pg, we haven't seen them all year!
Oh well not long to go now.
have a good weekend
Nats
x


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs, having looked at the site link Radnorgirl gave you, for a woman aged 42, beta levels for singleton successful pregnancies are as follows:  15dpt medium reading is 131, lowest reading is 15 and highest reading is 565.  Does this make you feel tonnes and tonnes and tonnes better yet?  (Have sent you another email........ring me tomorrow if you wish hun.) xx


----------



## Womb with a View

This is a special note for RS Mum......thanks so much for your lovely emails and trying to cheer me up!  I'm ok and I will email you at the weekend.  Thanks for thinking of me.  Lots of love to your gorgeous girls.  xxx


----------



## bluebell

Thank you everyone,
I had already looked at Radnorgirl's site, and when I look at singleton pregnancies they are, at 18dpo (which is the same as my 15dpt today), the average level is 401, the lowest recorded level is 7, and the highest reading is 6234.  Not sure why we are seeing diffrent figues.  Also, I can't find anything about age of woman, or data about days past transfer, ie it states days past ovulation.  Not quite sure where you looked WWAV ??!!  I have searched the site.
Never mind, I'm off to bed.
Thank you all for being so lovely.
Bloobs xxx


----------



## Rachel

radnorgirl said:


> It has given me a real lift after a couple of trully horrible days. On Tuesday Monty had a seizure. I ended up giving him CPR as I was not sure if he had stopped breathing when the fit stopped.He ended up being rushed to hospital by ambulance. He was being examined by the the doctor when he had a second fit - this time it lasted nearly 10 minutes. Afterwards the little fella was screaming for ages and totally out of it. We spent the night in hospital. They think it was febrile convulsions caused by a sore throat. I was extreemly grateful that he was discharged yesterday. He is still very much out of sorts and it looks like he is heading for another burst eardrum but it it good to be back home.


Hi Helen

Just wanted to send massive hugs to you  Lucy had a the same in January due a high temp caused by tonsilitis. We didn't even know she had it as they can't tell you how they fel can they  I knew she was under the weather but not how bad. We were rushed to hospital and spent a night and day there until she was well enough to come home. I knew what it was when it happened as my brother used to have them but it's much scarier when it's your own child  I now have a Braun digital thermometer and am constantly checking her temp! She's used to mommy putting the thermometer in her ear now!

Hope Monty is much better very soon 

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs......if you go to the bottom of the page there is a drop down menu from which you can select the ages.  Hope you are ok hun. xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell from what the others say your beta is fine,I am no expert myself. If you hadn't done the blood test you would just have a positive pee stick.
Sometimes you can have too much info.  On the otherside I worried every single day with my twins from the day they told me to the day I gave birth. In fact at 37 weeks while in the labour ward I was still convinced I was losing them!!!  They are now 5 and fabulous and  very very energetic!!!

I had my day 7 lining scan today and it was 5.1mm, does that sound ok?

Hve a great weekend everyone.


----------



## radnorgirl

Rachel

Glad to hear that I am not the only one obsessively checking temperatures!!! Monty has gromits in his ears and I am scared of doing some harm with an ear thermometer but I managed to find a digital one that takes a reading from the forehead (link below if anyone is interested). One thing that the GP told me though it is not about them having an excessively high temperature but more about a sudden rise in their temperature.

http://www.boots.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10052&productId=117702&callingViewName=&langId=-1&catalogId=11051

Bloobs - I agree with skirtgirl in that sometimes we have too much info. I hope Tuesdays blood test gives you the result that you are looking for and helps put your mind at rest

Helen
x


----------



## bluebell

Thank you all sweeties.  
My levels are way too low - the lovely Ruth has confirmed that, but as you say only Tuesday will tell.
Off for a walk in the autumn woods now to collect leaves for dd to make a collage to cheer ourselves up.
Lots of love,
Bluebell xxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Bluebell -  I am so so sorry honey. Sending you huge hugs   

Helen
x


----------



## Newday

Bluebell
I am surprised what does she think they should be. I know Stepan will want you to carry on with meds. I thought it was the doubling that mattered more
Dawn


----------



## Womb with a View

Special thoughts for Bloobs.  xxxx

Skirtgirl - you have 7 days to go yet until ET so, if your lining keeps on increasing, it should be just fine.  Good luck.


----------



## Grumpygirl

Bloobs, I'm with Dawn, don't give up on the meds yet hun. Am thinking about you with bells on, my lovely. Here if you fancy a chat anytime. xx


----------



## bluebell

Thanks lovelies,
Yes, I am hanging in there with the meds until Tuesday when I will get my beta done again.  In my mind though it is all over.
Dawn, Ruth said that it really needeed to be 80 at least by day 14 post ec.  As mine was only 194 on day 18 post ec, this would have been below 80 on day 14.
Have been wondering how you are feeling Dawn.  Great to see you still posting.
Love to you all,  and hope eveyone else is OK>
Hope you had a good meet up yesterday girlies.
Blooobs xxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Bloobs, just wanted to say I'm right here if you fancy a chat. Will give u a ring if you like, but don't want to intrude in case you need some time. It's not over yet, hun. Sending you the most massive hugs you can imagine, with bells, whistles and extra hundreds and thousands and cherries on top. Sorry it's not plain sailing for you, my friend. xx

Dawn, I'm with Bluebell, I think of you often and hope you're doing ok hun. xx


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Everyone,

Bluebell, Its such a difficult time isn't it. I guess that things will be clearer on tuesday but the waiting is very hard. There is still a chance that things are OK because it could have been a late implanter. however, i guess you are preparing yourself for whatever might come along. I do the same. Thinking of you all weekend. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Giggly, hope things are going OK for you. When have you got the next scan? 

I had period pains on Friday followed by a brown show. The HcG came back at 3575 (21dpt). This seems reasonable on the charts but, the more i read the web, the more it worries me so i'm just going to stay on this thread now (don't let me stray over to the HcG thread please! I know its not good for me but i keep looking  ). I'm going to the EPU on Thursday to have a scan. 

Hello to everyone else, will post more later to catch up with you all. It is my little boys birthday party at 4pm so i'd better go and cook those cocktail sausages.

Best wishes to you all
Izzy x


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, so sorry lovely that you have this worry too.  Just looked at Radnorgirl's chart and you are either average HcG or just above average depending upon how many days past ec you had et.  I hope that you keep away from the internet   and yes, just stay on here.
Hope your lovely little boy is enjoying his birthday.  He is such a sweetie.  Hope he gets loads of fuss.
Love from Bluebell xxxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Izzy and Bluebell,I am so sorry your bfp's have been tainted by this worry about HGC levels.I have no idea what they should be nor do I intend to find out. At the moment you are pregnant so try to be positive and believe in it. If you end up losing this pregnancy the sadness you will feel will not be lessened  by being sad now.

I speak as one who is still in the relitively calm pre transfer period but also as someone who has had 4 of my 6 cycles end with a 
'low' hgc level.I never knew what but just that it wasn't high enough to give me a viable pregnency but still for about a week post test the levels continued to rise slowly never high enough but still there was something.

I so hope that in the next week or so you get the reassurance about your pregnancies that you need but until then stay strong.

I have to add I would be in exactly the same state as you and probably will be in a month!!!


----------



## bluebell

Thank you Skirtgirl for your thoughts.
I am someone who likes to get all the information I need to help me make decisions and prepare for what happens next.  I needed to know my beta so that I knew whether or not to have another one next week.  I certainly wouldn't have wanted to wait a fortnight for a scan and then find out that I had lost it early on.
Now that I have the info I need I feel calmer, and I am more prepared for Tuesday.  We are all different !
Take care and good luck with your treatment.    
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

This is terribly hard for you Bloobs.  Really sorry you're going through this and fully understand you preparing yourself.  I hope Tuesday comes quickly and the universe brings you good news.  xxxxx  

Izzy, really sorry your pregnancy has been marred with this worry and let's hope that's all it is, just a worry.  Brown is old blood, as you know.  I had awful period pains, really awful, right through to, oh, week 12 or more....perhaps even 16 (I must look back through my postings).  Of course, when they appeared at first, very early on, I was sure it was a period pain, then I realised it's a combo of muscle memory and your hormones with "contractions" of muscles relaxing and moving to allow space for the womb to grow with your baby.  I really hope you find this is what it is.  Worry, I know.  Been there, done that, got the baby so to speak.  xxxxx  

Skirtgirl - good luck to you!  xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell I wasn't suggesting that you didn't find out your levels and go for more tests. It was just something someone said to me that I found vaguely calming when I was in the middle of a cycle. It helped me get from day to day.

As I said I will be like a gibbering wreck when it is my turn and will need you all to be the voice of reason!!!

Hope I haven't upset you.


----------



## bluebell

Thanks Skirtgirl for you nice post.  Have sent you a pm.

WWAV, you are such a lovely lady.  I am hoping so hard that December brings you the best ever Christmas present.

Bluebell xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Bluebell  - how  are you feelng today hun?


----------



## MrsBunny

Bluebell, so sorry to read your posts and that you are going through this awful waiting time to see if your levels are rising. Like the others have said, there have been many successful pregnancies with levels lower than this and I'm sure there is nobody who is absolutely qualified to tell you that your level is 'too low'. However, it's only natural for you to compare it with your previous pregnancy and I completely understand your worry. You are doing the right thing by having another beta test tomorrow. It's better to know one way or another.
My thoughts, hopes, love and prayers are with you        

Izzy, very best of luck for Thursday     

lots of love
Mrs Bunny xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Thanks lovelies.  Am working today to keep myself distracted.  Yes, you are right, I won't know until tomorrow.  Ruth didn't say it is definitely all over, just most likely.

Mrs Bunny, when do you start ?  I am so excited for you.  Are you on the meds yet ?

Izzy, how are you today?  Hope all the cramps and brown blobs have stopped.

RSMUM  

Bloobs xx


----------



## MrsBunny

Bluebell, I'm still on the pill for a couple more weeks then start on patches when AF comes. We asked that we could have tx around the first week in December and surprisingly they said that this should be possible as I'd be easy to match up as I 'look Spanish'!  I really hope this is still the case. We've recently decided to have PGD too because of an 'abnormal' FISH result for DH. It was a difficult decision but hopefully will give us extra confidence in any embies that we get to transfer. If there are no good ones, we've asked for donated embryos if they can arrange this at the time. (we REALLY don't want to come back with nothing   ) So getting sightly more nervous/excited now! 

Hope you get something really difficult and challenging at work to get stuck into today  

Love to everyone and thanks for letting me onto this thread!

Mrs Bunny xxx


----------



## bluebell

How exciting Mrs Bunny.  It sounds like you have really prepared well.  Here's hoping you get an extra special Christmas present or two !
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

good Luck Mrs Bunny, not long now.

I have just had a call from the clinic and need to get a scan and blood test today! I emailed them at 5am and they call me back 1/2 hr after my consultants secretary goes home. Not sure how to contact him now,typical.


----------



## nats210

best of luck arranging your scan Skirtgirl.
Mrs bunny all sounds very exciting best of luck.

Bluebell fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

I am due a blood test tomorrow morning and feeling apprehensive. Had tummy cramps early on, full boobs etc everything that can be blamed on the drugs ahhh. 

Nats
x


----------



## RSMUM

ooh nats - sending you loadsa sticky emby thoughts        

xxx


----------



## bluebell

Ooooooooooh, Nats, good luck for tomorrow.        
Will be hoping hard for a happy day for you.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## RSMUM

..will be thinking of you too tomorrow mrs....                                   for you both


----------



## Rachel

Just popping by to send Bluebell a huge big hug   

Thinking of you sweetheart   I am praying that tomorrow brings the news you want to hear  

Lots of love, Rachel xxx


----------



## bluebell

Loads of luck for tomorrow for Izzy too with your scan at the EPU.     
Have been thinking of you today.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Coming back into the world of the living, having a few post c-section complications with the wound not healing....

Thank you for all your congratulations and good wishes!

James is a lovely baby, we are so proud to be his parents. DD is very pleased with her new baby brother, no sign of sibling jealously yet.

Everybody tells us how much they look alike, which is a lovely!

Better go, feeding time again!

Jules xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Bluebell - thinking of you, hoping that you get good news tomorrow.

Izzy - hope all goes well with your scan.

Mrs Bunny - best of luck to you!

Helen - good for you for being able to do CPR - think that I should learn just in case of emergencies!

Big hello to all the Abroadies!

Jules xx


----------



## bluebell

Jules, so lovely to have you back.  How nice to have such beautiful news on here again.  Give James a big kiss from me.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Jules Congratulations on the birth of James so glad dd is loving her brother.

Nats good luck for the blood test tomorrow!!

I have managed to get a scan for later this evening but as I am bleeding more again I dont hold out much hope, things were going far to smoothly. I cant even get to ET now!!!  It feels so like the 2ww I have to keep reminding myself nothing has happened yet!


----------



## RSMUM

Oh Skirtgirl - sorry to hear this - hope you are proven wrong this evening

Izzy - hope all is well at tomorrow's scan    

Mrs M - lovely to hear from you and CONGRATS!!!!


----------



## Womb with a View

Congratulations Jules!!!!!!  Ahhhhh a baby boy and James is such a lovely name!  How did I miss this news?  I was thinking it must be "time" for you and only stumbled on this news, so sorry!  So happy for you all.  Hope the delivery went well darling.  Cluck, Cluck!  xxxxx

Bluebell......I am sending you all my love and support for tomorrow's testing.  You've been through hell.  So sorry. xxxx

Nats.....good luck for tomorrow hun.  xxxx

Skirtgirl....oh dear.  Not sure what's going on for you.  Thinking of you.  It's always a trial this business, isn't it.  xx

Mrs Bunny - good luck hun!  xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Good Luck Bluebell for the bloods tomorrow, I am so hoping for good news for you.

I had my scan and the lining is reduced a bit. So things will at best be put back a bit. I am fine with this as I felt rushed into it a bit and if I was being slotted into someone elses  cancelled cycle. My coordinator and my consultant over here were both shocked at how quickly I was started.


----------



## Womb with a View

Skirtgirl - yes, sometimes the whole donor IVF thing takes one by surprise!  If you felt rushed, it's best to go at your pace.....I'm sure the outcome, when your body is ready, will be positive! x


----------



## nats210

Skirtgirl pleased you are happier with the result, i think if you feel comfortable with tx iit helps
xx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Sorry, chicks but no time for a lenghty post, just wanted to wish Bloobs all the best for tomorrow, will be thinking of you all day. xx

Izzy- hope you had a successful and happy visit to the EPU. Hope to catch up soon. x

Jules! LOVELY too see you posting - bet you are so happy.

Sorry not to post to anyone else but you're in my thoughts. Just not enough hours in the day!
xx


----------



## bluebell

Skirtgirl, sorry to hear about your lining.  The rollercoaster plays osme funny tricks.  I hope you get some explanations and that you can proceed at your own pace from now.

Giggles, WWAV, RSMUM, Jules and everyone else, thank you.  I am looking forward to some closure (hate that word) tomorrow.  There has been no more bleeding, just slight yellow gunk (sorry tmi !!!) so am assuming a blighted ovum.  All will be revealed hopefully tomorrow.  Just hoping the test is conclusive.

Good luck Izzy  

Bluebellxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bluebell....         xxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Just popping in to wish Izzy all the best for her scan today    

Also, hope that all settles for you too Skirtgirl.

Love to everyone else.  

No news from me yet.  Will get result later today.  

Bluebellxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell, thinking of you today and hoping for a good outcome,

Izzy good luck today.

I am still bleeding and guessing we are going to have to start again at some point probably after christmas. Still waiting for the clinic to contact me,gotta love the Spanish relaxed way!!!


----------



## nats210

Hi
Waiting for blood test result but not feeling very positive as I did a hpt this morning and BFN, I know it was 2 days early but still gut feeling is not good. I didn't realise how much it was going to affect me just made me realise that I so want DS to have a sibling. I fully understand how lucky we have been this cycle was looking good, great lining, 10 eggs, 8 fertilised, 6 frozen & 2 put back 8 cell 2% fragmentation you just never know.
Will wait to hear have a good cry (again) then tomorrow will be a new day & time to make plans again.

Bluebell & Izzy thinking of you both
nats
x


----------



## bluebell

Oh Nats I am so sorry. This rollercoaster is really playing it's nasty tricks at the moment.  Hope you can hang in for a couple of days without going too mental.  I am sending you the biggest of hugs.  I know just what you mean about the sibling thing. Take it easy lovely Nats and be kind to yourself.        
My dreaded result in a few hours....
Bluebell xxx


----------



## bluebell

Hello,
Just to let you know that my levels have come back far too low again - only 339 19days pt.   If it had doubled properly from Friday it should have been at least 800.  The extra rubbishy thing is that it is not even fully conclusive (ie the level has still gone up), so my clinic here suggests I go again on Thursday or Friday for another blood test just to be certain.  That means we don't get our 'closure' yet.  What rubbish.
Izzy, so hoping your news is better      
Bluebell xxx


----------



## roze

Hi all

Nats I am sorry to hear your news.  Been exactly where you are. Can only sympathise but if you want to chat further please feel free to PM me. 

Bloobs, I hope you can hang on in there. I don't know if you know but when I was pg with DD  I conceived triplets and had a very high HGC in the initial weeks which dropped off around week 5 (I went for a blood test before I had my scan which showed I was still pg with a singleton.)

Apologies for not posting much lately but had a series of domestic , health (me and DD) and work problems that have been taking up time and keeping me in the doldrums. 

Will keep in touch with everyone and hopefully post soon.


love to all abroadies trying again- I am so full of admiration for you.

roze xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Nats - am guessing your blood results confirmed the hpt - so sorry hun if that's so..  

what a sad day today

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Thanks everyone.
Just to say I got Izzy's scan date wrong - it's Thursday not today !
Off out to firework display.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Bel

Hi Girls,

Bluebelle - So sorry hun...this really is torture, making you wait even longer. so hoping that it will be worth the wait and the news is good on Thursday. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and luck,xx

Nats - fingers crossed your HCG shows a positive.x

Izzy - Wishing you the best fro thursday,x

Rsmum - Hiya hun how's things with you?

Love to youALL,

BEL,XX


----------



## Grumpygirl

Bloody torture, Bloobs... I guess it means you're still in with a shot maybe- fingers crossed hun. Thinking of you xx

Izzy- got my days wrong too then, sorry! Good luck for Thurs.   

Nats- all the best, hope the beta tells a different story than the rotten old pee sticks...   

Bel- you are a babe, thinking of you and your hot warm yummy potato pie.  

xx


----------



## Izzy x

Nats, so sorry that you had a negative hpt. i'm hoping that the bloods are better for you. I know what you mean about everything else being correct. As i'm sure you know, several people on here had a bfn with the fresh cycle and success with their frosties.  

Bluebell, special hugs to you today. hope you are all not getting too cold at the fireworks. I love fireworks but my dog absolutely hates them (and he was breed as a gundog!) so he is a bit of a wimp really. been thinking of you and i guess that you'll know one way or the other on Thursday which will be good. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. You are such a lovely person to be thinking of me whilst you are going through such a hard time yourself. 

Sorry if i posted the wrong day earlier in the week....my scan is on Thursday hopefully. 

Best Wishes to you all
Izzy


----------



## Izzy x

Mrs M

Many, many congratulations on the birth of you little baby boy. You must be on cloud nine!!! 

Thats wonderful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Izzy xxxxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bloobs, I am so sorry you're going through this.  Truly awful for you.  I hope this next week zooms by for you and things pick up with the beta reading.  Thinking of you. xxxx
 Nats......so sorry you're hpt was a negative result.  I really hope that's not the case.  This is so hard.  It stinks doesn't it.  So sorry hun. xxx
Izzy - good luck with the scan. xx


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

Bluebell - Huge hugs swetheart   All the waiting and uncertainty is awful and so unfair after everything else we have to go through to get to this stage. I shall be praying for you in the coming days     

Izzy - I shall also be praying that your scan on Thursday brings very positive news   

Nats - And for you too hun   Huge hugs sweetheart   

Oh I feel very cross and frustrated with infertility this morning   I was awake in the night thinking about it and all of my friends here   Why does it have to affect such lovely people? It's so unfair. I think the drugs aren't helping as I feel very stressed about a lot of things at the moment. I have to start the Progynova today so hopefully I'll feel a little brighter then.

There was something good yesterday in the midst of everything! The girls started nursery. It was just a session with no other children there so they could meet the teachers and get used to the setting etc but they had a lovely time! The teachers they met were lovely and they seemed happy to be with them. They both did a painting and played dressing up which they really enjoyed. We have another session like this on Thursday then they start properly on Wed next week. I am now worrying as I go to Marbella for transfer in 2 weeks and hope that they'll be settled in by then. I am secretly hoping that the ec is delayed slightly so that  don't have to be away on any nursery days. I'm not feeling so confident about going on my own this time for some reason. Not really sure why though. Just want to get it done and get back home but I know it's not that easy!

Must go as the girls have taken their pyjamas off so I need to get clothes sorted! 

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Rachel, thanks for your infertility rant.  We all felt it I'm sure.  It was a good purge !  Sorry to hear that you are having the early tx jitters. It is tough isn't it ?  if you are like me, you are in denial about the tx until it suddenly becomes real and then it really hits you that you are going through it again.  I hope (like me) you start to feel a bit better once you get cracking with building up that lining.  Wishing you all the best.  So pleased to hear your lovely girls are enjoying nursery.

Just another update on me - my clinic want me to wait until my original scan date of next (not this coming) Friday until I stop the meds ! Aaaaaaaaagghghgghh ! That's over a week.  They are saying that I need to have a scan on that day to prove what has happened, ie just in case the HcG levels are wrong.  To quote "they are just numbers and the labs can make mistakes".  I can understand their caution in theory, but the thought of being in limbo like this for such a long time is unbearable.  I'm booking another HcG for the end of this week, which I am hoping will give me the answer I need.  if the level has gone down by then there is no way I am waiting over a week for a scan. Even 5 minutes of this uncertainty is really getting to me now.  I think you others who have m/cd will relate to the feeling of just wanting to get it all out of your body. In the meantime I am getting brown spotting.  It feels to me like my poor old body wants to get rid of all that lining but the drugs won't let it.  Feeling tearful all the time, but that must be worse coz of the hormones. I'll keep you posted.  

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## nats210

Oh Bluebell wish i could give you a hug we could have a good old cry together.
Spoke to the clinic this morning and my level was 4 they suggest retesting in 2 days what an earth for! Certain;ly not going to justify spending any more money, just waiting to speak to Ruth to find out the next steps. Heard today a good friend of mine is expecting her first baby next June, i am thrilled to bits as she is an older Mumtobe and has had a few issues really pleased somebody is getting good news.

Love to you all
nats
xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

nats I am so sorry you only got a level of 4, it is so annoying isn't it they want you to rete.st I have had 4 chemical pregs and never knoew why they made me go through it all again, I did have a couple that very slowly rose but not enough to be viable. My heart goes out for you today.

Bluebell, what can I say?? you must be in total hell at the moment, I am praying you can get something conclusive soon, you seem to be doing double 2ww and we all know one is bad enough.You are being so strong.

Rachel it is exciting that you are so close to transfer! It is made more difficult having older siblings to worry about, they are a great source of comfort aren't they but they do make the planning much harder. Are you taking them with you ?

So far I have no news still waiting for the clinic to have a plan and they are waiting for my blood results which I cant get as my cons secretary is off today!!! but still bleeding so guess things are not going to plan!! glad I didn't buy the tickets now!!!

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Womb with a View

oh Bloobs, I am so upset for you.  Sheer hell.  Can fully understand you want to know now and have it over and done with, either way it goes.  I'm not even going to say "keep hope" as this is just hell for you and you've been through enough.       Thinking of you as always.  xxxx

  Dear Nats, really sorry to hear your news.  Oh dear, it's been a sad week or so for us all.  xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Thank you lovelies for all your sweet thoughts.
Just popping in to wish Izzy all the best of luck for tomorrow's scan (got the day right this time I hope !!!).
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## nats210

Me too, Izzy good luck tomorrow
Bluebell thinking of you
Thank you for your kind thoughts feel much better tonight ready for plan b sometime in january let's get Xmas out of the way.
xx


----------



## RSMUM

Bluebell and nats - you are both in my thoughts today - what a horribly sad week for you both - feel really sick for you and wish I could give you both proper hugs instead of this tiny cyber one - but..  


Bluebell - I really know where you are coming from - I remember last May I was so cross with the hospital when they were suggesting that I wait and have a natural MC - I just wanted to get home and get a D and C sorted as soon as I could.

Nats - so glad you have plan B already - january will be here before we know it

Izzy - so hoping things are ok for you today - will be thinking of you lots too -    

WWAV - how are you doing hun? Must   sometime

off to Center parcs on Monday for a few days - DD really excited -  

xx to you all

xxxxx


----------



## three_stars

Just want to send hugs to Nats and Bluebell.  I know how hard it is with a chem pg or low beta not doubling.  My DR. gave me hope as herself she has a child from a starting beta of 6 I believe.  I know it is a long shot but I always thought if there is any chance at all I won't give up and one cycle did 7 HCGs.     I know that is expensive and difficult to do in the UK.  I took extra progesterone shots too. The waiting and hoping is agony and I wish no one hard to go through this.  Courage to you both.  It is so hard.

Love,

Bonnie


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Everyone,

So sorry about all the bad news on here this week. It is so unfair. i think that we would all agree that an inconclusive result is the least desirable outcome. I hope Bluebell and Nats are doing OK. 

Nats. I was reflecting about your post saying that everything was perfect in the run up to your cycle. I was thinking about my cycles and realised that, out of 4 bfp's, i've only ever had 1 embie implant. The other embie was always just as good at transfer. There is no reason why the 2nd embies don't make it and 1 embie does. I guess that, if you have another go, the chances are you could come away with double trouble!. Its all down to the way the embie progresses. i'm sure i'm not explaining myself very well but, what i'm trying to say is that everything can be good, except the embies in the end. If you have another go, i'm sure you'll get there.

Bluebell, thanks for the text messages today. i'm not sure how you have enough stength the worry about me too but it just shows how thoughtful you are. i hope that you are doing alright. Thinking of you lots xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Debs,  Centre Parks always looks really good . I bet your DD will be the perfect age for it. hope you really enjoy it. 

WWAV, hope your preparation is going OK. Its wonderful that you are going to go for a sibling. I'll have everything crossed that things work out for you. 

skirtgirl, have you had any info from the clinic? you sound really philosophical (spelling!) about it all. Very chilled! I hope that you get your answers very soon.

Rachel, glad your little girls are enjoying nursery. Its a big step and i'm dreading it next year! Fingers crossed that your cycles fit in nicely for you.No wonder that you don't feel as confiedent going on your own this time. I guess that things that hapen to us chip away at our confidence every time. I'm sure you'll feel a lot better when you are back qith the lovely ruth. Its so nice that you've got such a familiar face waiting for you at the other end. hope your progy is going OK. i'm always OK till i start the pesky pessaries. 

Helen hope Monty is back to normal. I really felt for you when i read you post. It was amazing that you namaged to give him the treatment he required.  i'm not sure i could do it. it makes me think i should enrol for a first aid couse.

giggly: hope you are all doing OK. Have you got a scan soon? Please keep us up to date wit h whats going on when you find a minute. I'm thiking about you.

Mrs M: hope you are haing a lovely time! did you buy a new pram or use your old one. i think i would want to get a new one because there are some lovely ones around at the moment. it would be daft though because it will definitely be the last child i have. i could not go through it all again (unless this goes wrong). i'm sure  that your DD is helping you loads1

B123, hope you are coping and not too tired. you are such an inspirationx  

I went for my scan today and saw 1 heartbeat. It measur3d correctly. It was awful really because they spent about 10 minutes looking for it. I was then sent out to empty my bladder and i was so worried. The lady treid again and then asked for a 2nd sonographer to come over. (this is when we had bad news last time). I was bricking it and so was Dh. Anyway, eventaually they found what they were looking for but i felt so exhausted afterwards. happy to find the heartbeat though. Got another scan at 9 weeks so i've got everything crossed for that now. 

anyway, best wishes to everyone and sorry i have not mentioned you all. 

Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Izzy - so pleased that you saw one heart beating away!

Big hugs to Nats and Bluebell, so very sorry to read your news.

Baby James is a really good baby, sleeping and feeding well, lovely laid back nature. DD thinks he is great, though is waiting for him to grow up a bit so that she can play with him!

I am still very sore, as I have an infected c-section wound, which is really slowing down my recovery, I just hate not being able to drive and to get out and about!

I did treat myself to a lovely new pram, DD was worn out! I hope to get out to use it soon.

Love to all my Abroadie friends, thinking of you all.

Jules
xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

oh Izzy that is such good news.I know you will be still nervous for a few weeks yet but each little baby step is a step closer to a new baby!!

I am going mad as after 3 days still no news about my blood result( supposed to be lesss than 24 hrs) and cant get hold of dr or his secretary, thank goosness it is not vital( I know we are cancelling/delaying as I am still bleeding) or worse still a hcg level. IVI VAL wont comment without it.


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, that is FAB news.  I knew you would be fine !!  You must have been absolutely terrified with them taking so long to find your little one's heartbeart.  You must have been utterly relieved with a huge tidal wave of release of tendiin after they finally found it.  It is never easy is it ?  When we had our anomaly scan with Ria they thought she has a hole in the heart and had to go off for a second opinion, and all in all it took them about half an hour to discover that she was fine after all.  I am so happy for you.  We need some good news on here.  Of course I would text you.  You are a fab chum and I want to know you are OK ! 

Skirtgirl.  That is pants. I am so sorry you are being kept hanging on too.  Sometimes with tx abroad it certainly feels like wee aren't looked after by the professionals enough doesn't it.  I hope you get your answer soon.  

Jules, so happy for you with little James. Chilled mummy, chilled babe is what I say!

As for my news, the beta result wasn't back when they said it would be late afternoon, so we have to wait until tomorrow.  I am now nearly 6 weeks on Monday and have known things were wrong since test day.  This feels so crap as I am having to wait so long for an answer, even though I know what the answer is.  Even when I get my beta, my clinic will still probably make me wait for a scan next week.  When will this end ?  I keep thinking, what if it is ectopic ?  Nobody seems to be bothered about checking me for that .  I asked the UK clinic today if a scan would show anything and they said not yet.  I am not convinced, but I can't push them as they have been so good to me.  They don't even charge me for scans/ blood tests any more as i am such an old timer and I thuink they take pity on me as they know how much we pay for tx abroad !

Just to let you know I have been speaking to Sasha a fair bit.  She is doing OK but just needs more time after her m/c.  

Love Bluebell xxxx


----------



## roze

Bluebell, I logged on hoping that your mind would have been put at rest. So sorry about further delays.  Hope tomorrow will bring better news.

Love to Sasha if and when you speak to her.

Love to everyone else- sorry to dash but just in from work and need to sort out dinner.

speak soon,

roze  xx


----------



## RSMUM

Just a quickie as R should have been in bed an hour ago :

Bloobs - I have been thinking of you all day but didn't want to bother you so haven't texted you - I thought straight away what if it's ectopic - it's awful that no-one seems to be bothered doesn't it? I'm so, so sorry you are having to go through this hell - when you know in your heart what is wrong..huge hugs to you, my dear friend. 

Izzy - you must have been absolutely petrified - you poor thing - I remember my blighted ovum scan many years ago and it was exactly the same, going off for second opinion while your heart just freezes - so relieved all's well for you  

Skirtgirl - you are having such a rubbish time of it too - so sorry hun  

Nats -thinking of you too hun

Big hello to everyone else here - really should be off - no real news from me , except I open my big mouth again today ( why, of why can't I just shut the *%^* up about IVF etc..     ) at the " new mums " group I go to - something came up about IVF and before I knew it I had let slip how many IVF's I'd done and of course someone asked how many embies I'd had put back and I said something about donor egg - completely without thinking - everyone was brill about it and didn't go all funny and nosey but I felt such an idiot afterwards - I am by far the oldest there and it doesn't really bother me but sometimes being such a gobby bugger does!   

I am, actually, really proud of my struggle and really proud of all you lot too and when we have weeks on here like this week when some of us are really hurting badly, my heart just goes out to you cos I'm reminded how bloody tough this whole battle is and what a special bunch of people we are... 

ah well - sorry - don't know why I had to tell you all that - it just came out - see what I mean?! Ha!!! 

ok now DD's REALLY late to bed! 

MASSIVE hugs to those who need it tonight ( and please send a cyber hug from me to Sasha too, Bloobs )

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## safarigirl

bluebell thinking of you - what a terrible time for you and yet here you still are thinking of others.  if your levels are going down, but not by too much you should ask them to look at the possibility of ectopic - my friend's doctor managed to miss one with her and she was very ill with it.  I have also been through the whole thing of low beta levels, ectopic etc and i know how distressing it is, as it keeps you in limbo - my thoughts are with you

please give sasha my love, i think of her often and hope she is okay .... and has some support


----------



## safarigirl

rsmum - you make me smile!  You are such a wonderful person, and in a way women who use donors need a spokesperson like you, lovely, vibrant, totally at ease with your choices - i think it also allows others who might be thinking of this, realise that it is done, and that we exist and our children!  Viva us!
hope to see you soon!


----------



## Womb with a View

Mrs M - lovely to hear how James is doing.  So pleased for you my lovely. xx

Izzy - sorry your scan was stressful and delighted you saw the heartbeat!  You must be over the moon and what a relief!  xx

Nats -   thinking of you. xx

Bloobs - sheer hell for you and I'm so sorry you're going through this poo.  I'm baffled and at a loss for words.  Really hoping you get a conclusion soon, either way hun. xxxxxx 

Skirtgirl.....aarrrgghghgh....the waiting.  Not on is it.  xx

RS Mum - hope you are well.  Thanks for thinking of me.  I need to reply to your email and Safarigirls.  xx

Safarigirl.....bless you hun.  Am in the thick of it at the moment but trying to be positive about my next tx. Hope you and yours are blossoming. xx

Love to everyone else and especially Sasha.  xx

Our tx is coming up soon.  We have the same donors, even though one has moved cities and will fly back to the IM for treatment.  It's so near now.  Have been on the Pill for around 2 weeks.  As usual, I'm not ready for it!  xx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Not stopping long but sending a hug for my buddy Bloobs and another for Nats. Rubbish! I have been coming on here just for updates... and hoping the news would be better. 

RSMum, you're a proper love. xx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Izzy- just saw your news! Big fat congrats, hunni! Must catch up soon. Amazing news! xx

Best of luck, AJ, will be thinking of you. xx


----------



## bluebell

Just a very quicky from me to say my level is still not conclusive.  It was 674 yesterday (just got result back this morning), so I still am being kept in limbo hell.  I have a scan booked now for Tuesday.  I am worried that this might be an ectopic with such low levels.  The cruel thing is it has pretty much doubled since Tuesday's test, which has given me a tiny glimmer of hope, which to be honest I would rather not have as the disappointment will be all the greater.
Must dash ... have another girl coming round that I am babysitting for and need to get DD dressed and tidy up etc.
More later...
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Blubell....


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell, I cant believe you still dont have a conclusive result, obviously I am still hoping and praying that it is all going to be ok but more that you can get something conclusive soon. Take care of yourself.

I finally have my oestrodiol result  no idea what it means though. I hope the clininc dont say to carry on as normal as there is virtually no way I can get there next week now!!!!


----------



## radnorgirl

Bluebell - It is absolutely awful what you are going through it is just so unfair - sending you huge hugs honey. I really hope that Tuesday brings you the good news that you so deserve.

Nats - so sorry about the low levels. I hope you are doing OK. Do you plan on going back for frosties soon?

Izzy - great news on that little heartbeat   

Mrs M - Sorry to hear about the infection but great news to hear that James is doing well and that he is being a good baby for you

WWAV -  Have you started on your meds yet hun?

Stirtgirl - I have no idea about Oestrodiol results - I think when I down regged Ruth wanted tham to be under 200 but I am not 100% on that.

Giggles - good to see your ticker moving along hun

Helen
x


----------



## bluebell

Quick escape from fighting tantrum girls.  

Skirtgirl, just wanted to say that you could use the ask a nurse section here in FF to get a second opinion about what is happening to you.  Good luck.      I would make sure that you go when you feel ready to go.

Love to everyone else,
Bluebell xxx


----------



## crusoe

Bluebell - I just want to send you the biggest hug      I can't imagine how tormented you must be feeling. I really hope next week brings happy news for you.

AJ sorry WWAV ... (you will always be AJ to me) just wanted to send you lots and lots of positive vibes for your forthcoming cycle            

Izzy - congratulations to you   and love to everyone on this thread - hope you don't mind me crashing in on you ....

Crusoe
xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bless you dear Crusoe!  I often think of you and when I'm back in old BCN I shall think of our time there together!  Let us know of any news on your front.  Lots of love to you both, xxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Cruscoe - it's an absolute pleasure to have you crashing this thread!

Helen
x


----------



## bluebell

Crusoe ..... yes, I can't think of any threads where someone as lovely as you wouldn't be welcome !  
I am dying to hear more of your news.

WWAV .....getting soooooooooooooo excited for you too.  I'm envious of you going back to BCN.  I went there so many times for tx I felt as if I lived there !  How are you feeling about it all ?  

Radnorgirl, how are your twinnies brewing, and how is little Monty ?  Is he better now ?

Been feeling glum today.  Just got back from shopping at Sainsbury's and felt awful as walking around the aisles I was getting all the familiar feelings or early pregnancy I had when I was pg with DD, ie all the pulling, tugging and heavyness that is there even in the early weeks.  I have spent quite a bit of time on the internet now  (god I hate the internet sometimes !), and my 'case' seems to be a classic blighted ovum, ie low HcG but still rising, spotting, and pregnancy symptoms continuing.  It's so sad to think that if that is the case, my body is busy making a placenta and a sac, but that it is empty, ie no embryo.  It feels such a waste, and such a cruel trick.  The clinics (both UK and abroad) have both told me that I might not even get my answer on Tuesday and might have to wait until the end of next week or even more.  I feel like I'm in prison.  I can't get on an grieve for my lost ones, or get used to not being pg ever again, which is doubly hard as I have a body that is behaving as if its pg.

Sorry, another big fat moan from me.  I'm fed up of dragging you all down with all this.  I'm fed up of being fed up.

Blooobs xxxxxxxx


----------



## MrsBunny

Bluebell, please don't think you're dragging us all down. We all want to support you in whatever way we can, and that of course means knowing how you are doing and what you are feeling. 
It's impossible to ignore what your body is telling you but obviously it's also impossible to interpret it reliably. We've all learnt this doing IVF. And it's probably the most difficult thing to get our heads around. When we've done everything right, why don't things work out like they should? But as much as you are looking at this negatively, there has to be some hope there too. I know it's difficult to focus on this, especially as if things don't turn out well you want to cushion your disappointment as much as you can. 

But for now, we are all thinking of you and here for you if you need us - here to listen to anything you need to say, however grim. And hopefully it will make you feel slightly better to know this and to know that we are all on your side, rooting for you and praying that things turn out well.

Lots of love and    
Mrs Bunny xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Mrs Bunny                  
Thank you !!    
Bloobs xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell I can only imagine what you must be going through, the uncertainty and waiting is so cruel. Post as much as you want we are all here to support you for as long as you need us.  Even though you are going through hell yourself you still find time for us all. You are amazing.


----------



## Ms Minerva

Bluebell - just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. What an awful thing for anyone to have to go through.

Big hugs   

Jules xx


----------



## RSMUM

Bluebell - you are in my thoughts too hun    - have sent you an e-mail - what an awfulthing to have to go through..

xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Me too Bloobs.  You are so lovely and I wish I could help you.  xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Thanks you Crusoe, bless you!  xx


----------



## RSMUM

Mrs B - just re-read what you wrote and what a lovely post - you speak for us all , I'm sure - you said it so well ...wish I could be so eloquent..

Bloobs - we're all here for you hun


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

I have been reading but not enough time to get everything down in a post   sorry.

Bluebell - Huge hugs to you. I am so sorry you are in limbo land   It's so unfair when this happens. IVF is stress enough without all of this too          Thank you for your kind words for me the other day. You are an amazing lady always finding time for everyone even when you're having a crisis yourself  

Izzy - So glad you saw a heartbeat   I bet you were so relieved, you can relax a little now 

Skirtgirl - After all my cycles I still don't know fully why they check Oestrodial levels at that point in the cycle! I must google it. I'll let you know if I can find anything! I think it is to check ovary function. Huge hugs to you  

Jules - James sounds gorgeous  

Helen - How are you feeling? I can't believe how far along you are! Only seems like 5 mins since your positive result! 

WWAV - Good luck for your tx hun   Got everything crossed for you    

Crusoe - Hello! Lovely to 'see' you here hun  

Massive hugs to all my abroadie friends. They're much needed at the moment         

Quick update from me as dh is about to go to work and I need to get the girls (and me) dressed! Have started the progynova and hopefully there'll be no problems with my lining thickening this time   I need to fly out to Marbella on 19th so not long to go now. Just waiting for first scan to be able to book flights, hotels etc so am feeling anxious about that but it's out of my hands now. What will be will be   I checked flights yesterday and there's none form Birmingham on 19th so I have to go from East Midlands which means more planning! I have worked out that if we both go and pick the girls up from nursery and go straight there with a picnic lunch for them I will be there on time! I am quite pleased as it means I will only be away for 1 nursery day now and as they only started last week that's a good thing. 

Will come back later. Huge hugs and positive thoughts for everyone  

Love, Rachel xxxxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Hi Rachel, awwwwww not long now my lovely!  I hope you find a suitable flight and yes, it's great that you won't leave the girls for long or their nursery.  Good luck!!


----------



## Rachel

Thanks WWAV  

Good luck for you too!!    

Forgot to say in my previous post, I had a dream on Friday night that I had a fax off Ceram. It was al written in Spanish but I could understand the bit that read '0% fertilisation'   Never had a dream like that before although have ahd ones about egg collection and spooky nurses! Really hoping this one DOESN'T come true  

Rachel xxx


----------



## bluebell

Rachel, I had to laugh at your dream    Poor you !  I bet you relieved to wake up !  It sounds like one of those dreams about not wearing any clothes in public, or not being able to find a toilet, ie one of those scared about something about to happen dreams !  Poor you !  I keep dreaming that we are packing to leave a hotel (never the same one), and that we are in a real hurry and going to miss some train/plane/automobile or other and I either can't pack in time, or can't find the room, or there are loads of people there and my stuff is all mixed up with theirs.  There is always a sense of 'this is impossible !'.  It must relate to my tx horrors at the mo.   Well at least I can safely say to you that I can't remember a single time on abroadies that there has been zero fertilisation, so it is just the stuff of dreams !!!  Hope you are feeling calm today and getting ready to brew a good lining !

Mrs Bunny, your sweet words brought tears to my eyes.   You are such a caring soul.  I hope so much that your tx brings you another little miracle.

WWAV, I am so excited about your going again.  I hardly dare say this but I have a really good feeling for you !

RSMUM thank you for always being there for me.

Skirtgirl, you are so kind.  Rememebr that you too are also going through a tough time, and you too think about others, so it takes one to know one !  I haven't 'known' you long, but you have been there for me a lot recently.  It means a lot.  Thank you.

Love to everyone else too.

We took DD riding today.  She looked so sweet in her big riding hat, perched on top of a scruffy little fluffy Thelwell lookalike.  It was a bit of a distraction for me too, which was good. She did like it, but was complaining that she had wanted a boy pony.  We were tempted to pretend that her pony was a boy, but then that might have involved her searching for a 'wee man' as she calls it, so we left it.  

I have decided to tell my boss tomorrow some of what is happening.  I have a big meeting next week and am supposed to do a big presentation the week after that, and also head down to the south of England for some meetings in ealry December.  I don't feel mentally or physically up to any of those, and also I might well be having a DandC next week.  I am DREADING telling her as it is so personal as she really dislikes children and especially babies and my DD is taboo subject at work.  I never feel that I can chat away about her as my boss is clearly (and openly) not interested. Tough though as she will just have to understand.  My work is 1.5 hours drive away, so I don't want to drive that distance when any minute I could miscarry.   I will tell her that I will work from home (which I often do anyway).  What do you all think ?  Any tips / suggestions welcome !  I will not mention abroad or DE, just IVF.

Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Poor you Bloobs, as if you haven't enough on your plate, now having to navigate your boss who sounds less than sympathetic, or womanly for that matter.  I'm not the best person to give advice, as work and IVF is a really sore subject for me.  I was certainly stitched up by my boss and secretary around the whole IVF thing.  Of course, I am not going to divulge anything to them at all about future plans.  No way Jose.  I'd rather take poison.  My biased and bitter advice would always be to lie, lie, lie, lie, lie if you haven't got them 100% on board.  As little info as possible is the best solution.  A very bitter WWAV.  Sorry you're going through this darling.  You must make sure you put you and yours first.  xxxx


----------



## roze

Hi all,

Bluebell, I am so sorry that you are still in limbo. I do not know what to suggest.  I am glad DD is giving you so much pleasure at this difficult time.  She is a constant in your life, whatever else may happen. This thought got me through some difficult weeks recently.

Re work.  I share WWAV's viewpoint on telling work too much information however you need to balance this potential risk of telling your boss about your current circumstances with acting in your best interests from a health point of view ie if you feel that a long drive could pose problems at this current time, then you need to try and get out of this. Not telling her anything may make things difficult too. I've also realised that employers aren't good with anything that doesn;t fall neatly into a category so how about something on the lines of gynae problems etc?  I would not mention IVF specifically unless you feel happy about this, and I feel that you would have told them by now if that was the case.

Working from home is a good suggestion. Perhaps you could get a doctors letter to help if necessary?

The presentation is a week away and travelling down south is some time away yet too so you perhaps don;t need to make a decision on that just yet?  Just take it one day at a time?

I don't know whether this is of help or not.  Please feel free to PM me or call if you want.


roze  xx


----------



## bluebell

Thank you both, WWAV and Roze, for your thoughtful posts.  It has helped me a great deal to get your opinions (and much valued ones at that), and I have decided to go along the gynae lines. That us what I already told her last week, so that I didn't have to go in last week.  I said I had had a gynae op, so now I will say that there are complications, and that I may have to have further procedures.

Roze, I often wonder how you are coping.  The end of tx journey is a very lonely place, and it is so lovely of you to still come onto Abroadies and give support to everyone.  Please do pm me with your news.  I would love to hear how you are feeling and what you and your lovely family have been doing.

You have both helped so much.  Thank you.   

Bluebell xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Hi Roze, it's lovely to see you posting and, like Bluebell, I too often think of you and wonder how you're doing.  Your advice was much more balanced than mine and I agree with you, not to put yourself at risk Bluebell and weigh up the pros and cons.....health and safety and all that too.  You must tell them something, as you've decided, and that all sounds enough to say in my opinion.  I wish I could turn the clock back on what I told my boss and secretary.  I could happily throttle both of them.  Needless to say they're not in my world anymore - I think the universe took care of that for me.  

How are you Roze? Love WWAV xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Sorry I haven't had a chance to post - am madly packing - just wanted to send big    to Bloobs - and WWAV - I remember you getting stiched up - that was awful! I'm so lucky I don't have to deal with bosses. I think you're right going for the gynea option Bloobs -and if you are anything like me and rubbish at lying it doesn't matter cos it IS a gynea issue, isn't it? It's just that there's a lot more to it eh?! 

I shall be thinking of you on Tuesday and will try to text - but will be in deepest, darkest Centre Parcs ( or is it " Center parks " ? I never know! ) 

roze - it is so lovely of you to post and with such brill advice too - I so hope you are doing ok ..

well, I'd better go - DH is winding DD up and it's bed time - and we are off tomorrow so loads more packing to do


hugs to all my lovely abroadie friends

XXXX


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Bluebell,

Good to see you have got such great advice today from Roze and WWAV. I also just talk about vague gynae problems. My new boss is Pwah!!  It is slightly embarassing to mention my gynae problems to him!! He is slightly younger than me and he always starts backing away going "fine" "fine"!! He's into sports and things...not really babies yet!! 

Anyway, i hope all goes OK for you. The burden of working well but also putting your family first is such a difficult part of tx isn't it. I think that we all understand your post and really feel for you. 


Best Wishes to you 
Izzy xxxxxxxx

as


----------



## Ms Minerva

Bluebell - I am with WWAV on this, I have also had terrible experiences with work when I was honest about doing IVF, so I have just made reference to vague gynae problems and left it at that. I was told my my Manager and HR that IVF was a "lifestyle" choice, like having plastic surgery and that I wasn't therefore entitled to ANY time off for treatment...    

Jules xx


----------



## bluebell

Thanks ladies !
Loads of dark brown spotting now, plus redder stuff last night too.
Kisses to little James,  Jules  
Kisses to tiny bumpy Izzy !  
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Tina K

Hello Girls

I dont know if anyone remembers me - i posted a long time ago about treatment in Barcelona then Isida in Kiev? I had 2 failed double donor cycles then moved back to ICSI as we came to the top of the NHS waiting list. Anyway, after another failure we tried one last time at double donor after down regging for 6 months due to suspected adenomyosis (I also went on a mad anti-inflammatory diet which was vegan, wheat free and alcohol free - tough!!). Anyway it was all worth while as on our 11th cycle, and our third double donor cycle i gave birth to our little girl in August. It is amazing how quickly something so small can take away all that pain. Our lives are totally complete.

........but i have a nagging thought in the back of my mind - we have 7 blast frosties. I would love to have a sibling for our daughter, but i am terrified of opening the door to more treatment - what if the frosties dont work? Will it set me off onto the 'oh just one more go' train where we end up with 5 more years of dissapointment and pain??

Anyway, i am just putting this into words really so i can crystallise my thoughts on it. I definitely dont want to go for treatment for some time, if at all - i really want to enjoy my daughter without any distractions. Thanks for listening - especially as i havent been on the boards for a long time.

Anyway i keep my eye on you all and am wishng and hoping that your dreams come true.

Tinax


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell so sorry about all you are going through, do you have any more tests and scans planned?

Tina, Congratulations on the birth of your little girl. You dont have to decide about your frosties yet do you? give yourself time. If you do go for it and get another little one then fantastic but if not what have you lost?  My twins are 5 and after 2 cycles after their birth we called it a day, it was painful but I needed to move on and not have the whole of their childhood overshadowed by the ivf obsession. Now DH couldn't move on so we are off down the donor route again,and I am obsessed again but if it doesn't work then I still have my twins and hopefully we vcan put a lid on things. We always agreed our cut off would be my 4oth which is soon!.

I had a call today to check we were still on for tommorrow!! as if, I have bled for the whol 2 weeks of the progynova so not sure my lining is up to much. They also said on friday the earliest it would be was 20th nov!! off for another scan tonight to see what is going on. I am begining to lose faith in the clinic and wonder if it is all worth while??


----------



## three_stars

Ms Minerva said:


> Bluebell - I am with WWAV on this, I have also had terrible experiences with work when I was honest about doing IVF, so I have just made reference to vague gynae problems and left it at that. I was told my my Manager and HR that IVF was a "lifestyle" choice, like having plastic surgery and that I wasn't therefore entitled to ANY time off for treatment...
> 
> Jules xx


Jules - how you doing? ANd the LO?
I can't believe that your managers can call IVF a lifestyle choice and get away with that...well actually I can because there are so many opinions out their and no clear defined rules and rights as a medical need. (The sort of thing HFEA should be demanding for infertility suffers.) 
ANy way, Bluebell, I agree that I would say as little as possible. Even if you think they are supportive. Unfortunately people can be unkind in a competitive work environment and you never know who talks to who. You are not lying. You are having medical problems. Even they do not need to know more then that. It is your business and private. But saying female problems does tend to make most male bossses back off quickly so if that works then use it.. Good luck.

Bonnie


----------



## Rachel

Bluebell  

 What an insensitive boss you have   Even if people don't want children of their own they should respect other people's choices in life and accept them not make it a taboo subject. Good job I don't work there! She wouldn't like me! We have our own business and try to be as understanding as possible to everyone's needs and choices even if we don't always agree or it causes them to be off work etc. If it is a valid reason (as this is, obviously) not a 'lifestyle' choice then we support peole as much as we can. I had a boss liek yours when I was a Supervisor for Boots. She was adamant she NEVER wanted children but got pregnant by mistake. She wasn't too happy about it but had the baby. When she came back to work she was only there 2 weeks and decided she couldn't work any more and wanted to be a full time mommy! Nuff said I think!! Huge hugs to you sweetheart   

Skirtgirl - Hope the scan shows that your lining is nice and thick despite the bleeding   I had a cut off of 40 too but it's been and gone and here I am having a fresh cycle!!   I'm just not ready to give up just yet! 

Tina - Hi and Congratulations on your little girl   I was a little like you and had nagging thoughts about our frosties not long after the girls were born! However, we didnt' actually decide to use them until this year (2 years on) which in hindsight I am glad about. You're right about enjoying your little on. You've waited a long time and put a lot of time and effort into having her, enjoy every minute hun  

RSMUM - I know I am a bit late but enjoy Center Parcs!! 

Hugs to everyone, WWAV, Izzy, Roze, Crusoe, Jules, Bonnie, Mrs Bunny, Helen and a huge hug for Sasha. If I've missed anyone, sorry!  

Must dash as need to sort the girls tea out. Just a quickie to say, Ruth has assured me that she doesn't send faxes so my dream won't come true!!  

Love to everyone

Rachel xxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Bonnie - I am making slow recovery from my c-section, due to contracting an infection, but I am getting better each day. James is a total delight!! A really wonderful baby! The moment he was born, any doubts that I had about the DE issue vanished, he is MY boy and I love him dearly! 

Bluebell - thinking of you.

Tina - congratulations on the birth of your daughter! It is so hard going back for another go, I was devastated when my frosties all perished on defrost, but so glad that I stuck with it and gave it another go! In hindsight, I feel that I missed out on some of DD early days, by pursuing having a sibling....feel like I spent her Toddler years dragging her around clinics.. 

RSMUM - hope that Center Parks is fab and well done to you for speaking up about DE! 

Rachel - not long to go for you, hope that you have no more anxiety dreams.

Skirtgirl - hope that you have a good lining.

Big hello to all, brain is fuddled and muddled by lack of sleep. zzzzzzzzzz

Jules xx


----------



## bluebell

Jules, ooooh, can we see photos of James please ?  Go on, shove em in your gallery !

Tina, congrats on your little girl.  

Skirtgirl, hope you get some clarity soon.  You must be feeling wierd, ie not sure whether you need to be ready to jet off at any minute or wait until after Xmas. Hope you get the answers you need. 

Thank you all sweeties for your thoughts for me. Had cramps and red bleeding all day today, so it's all over.  Will go for scan tomorrow just for proof, and then at last this nightmare can end.  

Boll**$%&$£"**(((ocks is all I can say.

Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Our news...

Just been for scan this morning and as we expected all is not well.   There was a 6cm pregnancy sac, but it was blood filled.  They said it wasn't 100% conclusinve but pretty much so.  The nurse offered me a scan for next week, I think just to cover herself, but she was certain.  Yesterday as you know I had cramps and bleeding, and I still do today.  Will get blood result at lunchtime and then can hopefully stop the meds today, which will at least be a relief as this has gone on for nearly 2 weeks now.

DD was so sweet to me in the hospital today.  She came in to the room when I was having the scan, (DH kept her away and at an angle so that she couldn't see), but she knew the nurse was looking at mummy's tummy, so she gave me her toy hare and her doll to hold to cuddle up to.  She came over to me before the nurse started the scan and pulled the towel further over me.  She said "There you are mummy, just to keep you cozy", and "Would you like to hold Hare and Fifi to help you feel better ?".  She is such a love. I feel like I have been in limboland whilst we have been focussing on trying for a 2nd miracle. Maybe a good thing now will be being able to focus on what we have, not on what we don't have. We'll see.

I'll still be popping in.  I would miss you all too much if I didn't.  I need to take stock of what's happened through and keep away from FF enough to be able to stop thinking constantly about tx.  I need to make that mental break now.  Thoughts of surrogacy or adoption have been whirring in my head for a couple of years now, and still are, but I need to let tyhe dust settle before we make any decisions.  I am not sure I have the energy for anything more, nor am I a spring chicken.  If DH really wanted it, it would be easier, but he has wanted to stop for ages now, so I have to think of him too.

All the very best of luck to you all in your tx journeys.  I'll be in touch.

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Oh Bluebell, so very, very sad to read your news, and in tears that your DD was so sweet.

Totally understand why you need a break, but we will all miss your warmth, wit and kindness.

Take care and be kind to yourself and I am sure that your DD will help you to recover from your loss.

Jules xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel glad your time is coming closer , it is so exciting!! glad you managed to work out the girls nursery.

Bluebell you dd sounds like such a little angel! I would stick with the gynae op explanation and get a dr to write you off for a few days you could probably do with a break? or is work keeping your mind off things?

I had my lining scan and all is well I am ready for transfer. the only problem now is I have found the clinic use mainly frozen eggs which explains a lot of things. My uk dr said only have freash and now I am confused!! This game never gets easier does it


----------



## bluebell

Skirtgirl, exciting that you are going now after all.  I think I would trust your clinic.  They must have good success rates for you to have chosen them.  At least with frozen eggs they would have to be really good ones to survive the freezing and thawing.

Jules, thank you  

Just another  delightful update for me...
I have just had another phone call from the hospital.  They want me to go back in tomorrow for yet another scan as my HcG levels are still increasing, so they are worried it might be an ectopic (this has been my fear all along).  I said that I thought they had checked for that on the scan today, but they said it is hard to see ectopics at this stage.  So much for closure !  Closure tomorrow then hopefully.  Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !

Bluebell xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Oh Bluebell!!! I can't believe how many twists and turns your journey is taking you on.


----------



## Grumpygirl

Bloobs, sending you loads of love. I just can't believe how much [email protected] you've had to put up with. 
With you all the way, chick.
xx


----------



## roze

Bluebell,

I have read this and your other posts. Difficult time, hun, I am so sorry that you are still going through this and there is still no closure. Please PM me any time.

lots of love 


roze x


----------



## Womb with a View

Oh Bluebell.....even though it looked like this might be the outcome, getting this result must be very hard for you hun.  You've had over 2 weeks of hell.  I'm so very, very sorry.  Please be gentle and kind to yourself at this sad time.  Reading about your little angel trying to comfort you brought tears to  my eyes.  With love to you all.  xxxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Thank you lovelies for your kind posts and messages.  You people are so special and mean a great deal to me.

I had another scan yesterday, this time by the consultant, not the fretility nurses, and she confirmed there was one sac, and could also see another possible sac.  So either one or both implantedb ut didn't continue.  She still could not rule out an ectopic as she said it is impossible to see them sometimes, so I have to go back on Friday yet again for another blood test just to check my HcG levels have gone down now I have stopped the meds.  It's all coming out now today (sorry tmi !  ) - all quite horrific.

WWAV and Skirtgirl, wishing you every luck for your cycles. I will be watching and hoping.

Lots of love from Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Oh Bluebell,

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It is a truely dreadful time for you. I hope that you managed to sort work out and you know that we are all thinking of you. 

Take lots of care of yourself
Izzy x


----------



## crusoe

Bluebell - I tried to PM you hun but your inbox is full (you popular lady you.)

Big hugs to you, thinking of you lots ....   
Love Crusoe
xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell, my heart goes out to you, I hope you finally get things sorted physically tomorrow.


----------



## Womb with a View

Bluebell.......I can't believe you're going through this torture.  Thinking of you. xxx


----------



## Rachel

Bluebell

Huge huge hugs sweetheart     So sorry you are having to go through this. It's so cruel. 

With much love and strength to get you through today  

Rachel xxxxxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Bluebell

Words are simply inadequate.

Thinking of you   

Helen
x


----------



## safarigirl

BLUEBELL thinking of you today darling ....... lots of hugs to you


----------



## RSMUM

Bloobs - not sure if you are reading this but my heart goes out to you love...such horrid, horrid hell you have been through       - I hope one day to get to meet you and your lovely little girl - she sounds as special as her mum 


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to you and your family


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell , I have been thinking of you all day , hope you are ok.


----------



## bluebell

Thanks sweeties.  You are all such stars.
Had my blood test today and levels still going up, but now not doubling any more, but still have to go in again on Monday for further blood test to rule out ectopic.
In the meantime, feel like I have given birth about 75 times today  (sorry tmi !!!  ).  My last m/c was 2 weeks earlier than this and boy does in make a difference !  I took myself into town for some retail therapy, but had to keep rushing to the loo to pass massive clots. "Mmm, lovely, just what we wanted to read just before tea" I hear you all say. I still feel happier this way than d&c.  It is a personal choice, but this feels more like my body doing things its own way and a less drastic approach. 
It was actually really lovey saying goodbye to my local ACU unit today. They all gave me big hugs and said it would be like losing one of the family !  I have been going there now for nearly 8 years ! I sneakily left them a big box of choccies and a big fat cheque for their unit, as it is always struggling for cash, and offered my continuing counselling support for couples going abroad from that unit.  DH and I were the 1st couple to go abroad from around here, and we have been their phone counsellors for anyone else now.  One of the nurses that I have known for years gave me a huge hug and we cried together.  She reminded me that she had cried with me on several occasions over the years, including when we had IVF with my own eggs and it looked like it was never going to work.  There is often such negative stuff coming out of UK clinics.  I have been so lucky with mine.  Right I'll shut up now before I get too gushy !!

Skirtgirl, so it's all systems go for you then !  Yippeeee ! Hope you manage to get all sorted in time !  Wishing you all the very best and thanks for thinking of me. 

Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Bluebell you are so lovely.  Only you could think of leaving your clinic a big box of chocs and a cheque to help their cause, at a time when you are going through hell.  So sorry hun.  And yes, I think it's the best way rather than a D&C.  I hope you find it's not etopic.  Take good care of yourself darling.  xxxx


----------



## MrsBunny

Bluebell,
What an emotional day you've had. It's lovely that your clinic has been so caring, and it must have been difficult to say goodbye to all those who have helped you. I'm sure they won't forget you. You are a star, thinking of them and others going abroad for tx at such a difficult time.

I hope that it doesn't turn out to be an ectopic, so your body can continue to do its own thing naturally, helping you to get the closure you need.

Take good care lovely,
xxxxxx


----------



## nats210

Dear Bluebell I am so sorry to read your news it is so hard when you can't get closure.  I hope this is coming to the end all be it a very sad one and you can look out to a brighter tomorrow.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts I have started the pill and planning on going again in the New Year, focusing all my energy on preparing for a new cycle.

Skirtgirl fingers crossed for you hope all goes well.

Izzy pleased your scan went well congratulations

Have a good weekend, love to all
Nats
xx


----------



## Womb with a View

Nats - good to hear from you.  I hope all proceeds well for the New Year.  Take care and good luck.  xx


----------



## Rachel

Bluebell

Massive hugs sweetheart    You really don't deserve this to be happening. 

You are an amazing lady and such a huge inspiration to us all   

I really don't know what else to say. As Helen said the other day, words are so inadequate. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and praying for you. Look after yourself.

Love, Rachel xxxxx


----------



## Rachel

A quick update from me.

It's all systems go for ec on Tuesday. I am flying out Wed for a transfer either Thurs or Fri. I am so scared this time to be honest. I really wish dh could come with me but it's just imposible at the moment. I have the scan hurdle to get through on Monday. Last time was a bit of a nightmare as my UK clinic measured differently to Ceram and it looked like it was all over before it had begun   I only booked my hotel yesterday as have been too scared incase it all goes wrong. I've booked the flight going out but not back yet! Must do it today.   

So gla dit's Saturday and dh at home. It's been a nightmare week. We had to have a new boiler which was a difficult and long job. Also been sorting out repairs to our car. When we went on holiday my brother in law drove us to the airport in it and someone drove into him on the way back   It's been a nightmare trying to sort insurance etc and the third party won't admit liability when it's clearly obvious that it was her fault   Our car went in yesterday so will get fixed now but goodness knows how long it will take to recover the money from her insurance company   I'm so glad that it's all dealt with by the insurance company as I get so confused with insurance! 

One good thing this week is nursery! It's going really well and yesterday they let me leave them as soon as we got there! They were very happy. It felt weird goign off on my own after having 2 shadows for so long! I went and posted a parcel and picked up a prescription without it being a major operation! I then went home and felt totally lost! When I got back they were outside playing. Looked like they were having a wonderful time   

Lots of love and hugs to everyone 

Rachel xxxxx


----------



## MrsBunny

Hi all
Firstly, I feel I must say something about coming onto this thread to post messages to Bluebell. I hope you don't think I'm too cheeky - my previous miracles were born ages ago and they weren't nearly as miraculous as all yours!! (but the more I think about it, maybe they were...)
So really, I don't feel that I belong on this thread so probably won't be posting much on it anymore, but I will be reading about how you all get on.

Nats, good luck with your preparations for the cycle in the New Year. I hope you manage to gather lots of strength together so that you are ready  

Izzy, I didn't say how pleased I was to hear about your scan. That's great news, hope your pregnancy continues smoothly xx

RSMUM, hope you've had a great time at Center Parks  

WWAV, it looks like you and I have something in common - going to IM soon! I've been interested to read of your decision to return and glad that you are managing to have the same donor. And of course I remember you being a tower of strength on abroadies chat. Lots of love and luck to you    

Rachel, good luck for next week. It sounds like you've had plenty to worry about lately - this must have been difficult for you! Maybe when you get over to Spain you will feel that you can relax more as you'll have left all the worries at home and can focus on what's important. Yes, thank goodness for insurance companies. My DH had a bump back in February that wasn't his fault and the other bloke didn't admit liability. In the end he was threatened with court and we got the money back in October! It's good news that your girls are happy in nursery now - that's one less thing to worry about. Best of luck with the scan on Monday    

Skirtgirl, good luck for your tx next week    

Bluebell    

love to everyone reading
Mrs Bunny xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel it looks like we might be going at very similar times. We have to wait until tommorrow to see if ec is tues or wed and after that I dont know what happens. I do know that dh had to be there on tues as they had a problem freezing his sample. So we could find out sunday that we have to fly out on mon!!!  Not good for us a s MIL is babysitting, while waiting for sil to have her baby(3 days late so far) and DS is really poorly with 'flu' and has been up all nigh for the last 2 nights just crying for mummy.
anyway good luck and hope we can keep each other sane on the 2ww.(assuming we get there!!!)


----------



## bluebell

Wow, it's all go again on here !  Great stuff. Come on ladies let's get some more, nice big fat positives to brighten things up !!!  Hope it all runs smoothly for you Rachel and Skirtgirl.  Skirtgirl, sounds like you might need a tx trip for a bit of a rest !  
Off to the zoo for the day to cheer ourselves up.  had a black day yesterday and fell uot with DH, but things better today.  WWAV, thanks for being there for me by PM !
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Rachel

Skirtgirl - Got everything crossed for you cycle buddy!!    I am so nervous. Waiting to hear from Ruth about 2nd scan and then I have mine tomorrow so got my fingers crossed for that too! 

Bluebell - Have a lovely day at the zoo   

I'm having a chill day today. We went out last night and I am feeling very tired today   I am still in my night clothes! Off to have a shower now and might walk the girls down to the farm to see dh and nanny and grandad in a bit. It's been raining but the sun is out now.

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxxxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Hi everyone - sorry I've not been around much - been to Centre Parks - had a brill time but am more tired now than i was before I left 

apologies in advance if this post is short and full of typos - dd2 is very interested in the keyboard these days

Bluebell - my heart really goes out to you hun - I hope this hell is over for you soon - how wonderful that you left chocs and a cheque - you really are an angel you know - are you still going to do the counselling?sending you massive hugs...  

Rachel - best of luck for your tx  - hope the scans go well - do you live on a farm then? your girls look so beautiful in the pics by the way - what sweeties!  

Skirtgirl - crossing everything for you too hun   what a nightmare with everything going on with the family - it never rains eh?! 

WWAV - how are you doing hun? hope u r ok..

mrs, B - please stay with us - don't know about everyone else but i see this thread as for those going/gone abroad who have a miracle - or two -or more - already - that's all! 

nats - glad to hear you are looking ahead - won't be long now

Jules - bet you have your hands full - fantastic!!! 

bonnie - lovely to hear from you - promise i'll reply to your im soon - dh is going to paris a lot for work these days so i have dreams of coming out to meet you on day!

izzy - brill news about the scan!! so pleased for you 

oops gotta go  so much unpacking to do it's incredible!!!    and school stuff tp sort out for 2mrw - yuk! hate those morning panics! 

xx to you all - and apologies to anyone i forgot to mention

xxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Just a quick update from me, we got the call today ec on tues so we have to get out there in the morning!!!!Had a mad day getting ready still haven't got a hotel as all reservations we tried are closed until the morning!!! DS still poorly now with an bad ear, I fel sooo bad leaving him.

Rachel good luck lets hope this is a good week for us!!!


----------



## bluebell

Just in case you haven't gone yet Skirtgirl, wishing you all the very best,
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Rachel

Skirtgirl - GOOD LUCK! I hope everything goes well for you   

RSMUM -  Thank you for the comments on the girls   We are poultry farmers! Very glamorous eh!   Dh works VERY long hours and days   The upside is that I can do chicken for tea if I haven't thought of anything else!! 

Well, the scan was good and lining thickening up ok  . EC is tomorrow and I fly out on Wed afternoon. I finally finished booking everything up last night! Just got to wait for Ruth's call after ec tomorrow so keeping everything crossed for that   

Love to everyone   

Rachel xxx


----------



## bluebell

Oooooooooh, Rachel, good luck !!        
Promise to say hello to Ruth from me.  She hasn't even treated me but was always there for me.
Loads of love and luck,
Bluebell xxxxxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Good luck for EC and ET Rachel!!     xx

Skirtgirl -     I really hope all goes well for you! xx

Oh goodness me......the IM have said our donor is just about to start tx for us.  In about 16 days time, all being well and God being good to us, I'll be out there having ET.  Can't believe it.  xx


----------



## nats210

Fingers crossed Skirtgirl & Rachel hope all goes well for you both.
WWAV wow those days are going to fly by

Love to all
Nats


----------



## radnorgirl

Skirtgirl & Rachel - wishing you both well       

WWAV - As Nats says - I hope those days are flying past

Helen
x


----------



## bluebell

WWAV, here's wishing you the very bestest of whopping great piles of luck !           

... and an Christmas BFP !!



Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Rachel

WWAV - 16 days! Wow. Not long then   I've got everything crossed for you too     

Bluebell - How was the zoo? 

Skirtgirl - A few more for you too!!      I hope all has gone well today  

Well, we have 8 eggs so another hurdle over with! Just praying that dh's frozen sperm thaws ok and does its thing over night. Do you think I would have heard if it hadn't thawed by now? Not sure what we will do if it doesn't   Been to music class this morning then a nice walk in the park. Swings and slide were too wet to use but the girls had a lovely time kicking the leaves and throwing them up in the air! They are fascinated by them. yesterday they made pictures with some we collected in the garden on Sunday. Glittery leaf pictures! I shall miss them so much while I am away   

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Sounds really promising Rachel !
If you are worried about the swimmers, why not phone Ruth?  I'm sure she wouldn't mind ! 
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

Didn´t have time to post yesterday but we had 3 embryos yesterday morning. Awaiting a call from Ruth this morning to see if we still have 3   I am here in Spain now feelign totally UNpositive   I miss the girls and dh so much. When they dropped me at the airport Emma really cried, bless her. They understand so much more now. Lucy had just woken up so didn´t really know what was going on. I cried all the way through the security checks   It was very nice to be met by Simon´s friendly face at the other end I can tell you! 

Skirtgirl - Not sure if you are reading but just wanted to say I hope all is well with you   

WWAV - The days are going down for you!   

Off to try and eat some breakfast but feel sick! Have been awake since 4.45   I hope I can relax a little more tonight! 


Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Rachel, I really feel for you with on your own without your lovely girlies.  Yes, it is so much more difficult as they get older.  If it's any consolation we left DD for 10 days with my parents for our last tx.  We were so apprehensive and missed her like hell, but she was fine.  She missed us and cried for us a bit, but had a ball too !
Wishing you all the best for your 3 embies. 
Take it easy and look after yourself.  Hope you get some more sleep.  Maybe some nice sea air will make you sleepy !
Say hello to Ruth from me.
Big hugs to you.
Bluebell xxxxxx


----------



## Rachel

Thanks Bluebell   You´re a star   

Well, I am now on my 8th 2ww! We ended up with 4 embryos so 2 put back. The other 2 weren´t good enough to freeze so fingers crossed that we don´t need them. Little different to our first successful cycle over here 3 years ago. (11 eggs. 10 fertilised. 2 put back and 6 in the freezer) 

I am focusing on positive thoughts and what is happening in there! I have all day today and then fly back tomorrow lunchtime. So looking forward to seeing the girls and dh! 

Off to lie down again now! Feels weird as I am usually so busy running around!

Hugs 

Rachel xx 

Forgot to say I have a horrendous sore throat and headche   Probably a good thing that I have to rest!


----------



## three_stars

Good luck Rachel.  I hope number 8 is lucky for you.  
If I understand your post they put back the 2 best and did not freeze the other two?  I wonder why they would not have put them all back; that is what my clinics always did.  The ones not good enough to freeze may have had a chance as fresh.
ARe they letting them develope longer to see if possible to freeze as blasts?
Just wondered.
Good flight back.  Hope your 2ww goes by quickly.
Love,
Bonnie


----------



## bluebell

Well done little 2 embies for Rachel !
Take it easy and hope your two littlies are snuggling in nicely.  Make the most of being able to chill before you have to come home and be busy again !
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Rachel,

Great news about your 2 embies!! Hope they are snuggling in right now. Nice to go back to a clinic that you are already familiar with though isn't it. 

You enjoy your nights sleep and i bet you can't wait to get home tomorrow! 

Bluebells, how are you? Nice to see you posting and hope that you are OK. Have you gone back to work yet? 

Best Wishes Everyone
Izzy x


----------



## nats210

Good luck Rachel hope your little ones are tucking themselves in, fingers crossed the time flys by.
xx


----------



## Rachel

Thanks girls   I am back home now and it's day 4 today! A long way to go yet but I am sure it will fly by. The girls keep me so busy especially with their social calendar!! 

WWAV - The days are definately coming down now  

Skirtgirl -     

Love to everyone 

Rachel xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Well I am back as well!!!  Rachel fingers crossed for you I hope these are your lucky embies and you get a bfp soon.  I bet dd was pleased to see you!! Hope you feel better now as well.

We had a bit of an up and down time I has more bleeding on tues but it settled down ok,so I have been knicker checking for almost a week already!!!  We go 13 eggs and 12 embies, 2 are snuggling down all cosy and 3 are chilling out under observation and 6 are frozen.  This is the first time w e have ever had any frosties as my eggs were obviously pants!! Also didn't have to have icsi this time either.  I missed the children like mad and couldn't wait to get back. We got a really lovely reception when we got in last night but they are now disinterested as normal and back to causing havoc around the house!!

Rachel did they question putting 2 back for you? They checked and rechecked with us as we already had children. When the dr had put them in she said she hoped one stayed put or maybe  2 and would I be ok if it was twins!! when Isaid we already had twins I swear I thought she was going to suck one out!!!!


Will catch up with you all soon, off to think of ways to keep calm until 4th dec!!


----------



## bluebell

Skirtgirl, that's fab news !!!!  It is great to have so many frostes as it will help you relax a tiny bit during this 2WW.  Let's hope you don't need them though and that you get a big fat positive.  

Izzy, been thinking of you loads. You are nearly past that milestone !    Hope it's all plain sailing for you and that you can relax soon.

Rachel, hope you are feeling much better now that you are home with your family around you.

WWAV - not long now !

Love Bloobs xxx


----------



## Rachel

Skirtgirl - Well done to you    Wishing you lots of positive thoughts for your 2ww    The having 2 embryos put back wasn't an issue for our clinic. Ruth agreed with us when we said that we wanted to give it the best possible chance of working. I am not worried if it is twins again, I shall just feel doubly doubly blessed   

Rachel xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

I am not bothered either Rachel, been there done that worn the tee shirt. short term pain for long term gain!!


----------



## three_stars

Skirtgirl said:


> as we already had children. When the dr had put them in she said she hoped one stayed put or maybe 2 and would I be ok if it was twins!! when Isaid we already had twins I swear I thought she was going to suck one out!!!!


Too funny!


----------



## Rachel

Sorry in advance for the 'me' post  

Feeling totally negative today   Had crampy pains in the night but I did have a bit of curry sauce with my chips so may have been that. Also, my usually very positive dh said last night that he didn't think this time would work. He said too much was against us. I suppose after the wonderful positive cycle we were expecting hte same this time   He's worried cause I can't rest as much as last time but I assured him that I sit down at every possible opportunity and haven't lifted the girls even though there's been tears when I have to refuse. They keep saying that I have a poorly tummy and rubbing it for me! 

I think another thing making it worse is that we are all ill (except dh). I still have hardly no voice and both girls have colds and Emma is as husky as me! 

Got to fly as I can hear moaning cause I haven't opened the curtains in their playroom yet! 

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxxx


----------



## Izzy x

Rachel, Really feel for you because i felt the same. I think that i looked for the symptoms that i had the last time. Its so hard not to pick your girls up but remember what you are doing, is totally for their benefit too! 

Bloobs, thanks for the best wishes yet again. I've got a scan on Thurs when we will be exactly at the point that we got to before. I think i might start feeling a little more human if we can get past this one. This has definitely been my hardest cycle. A  friend was looking at the photographs on my fridge last week. She said how lovely and well i looked in one of the photos. It was taken a month before i was diagnosed with pof. I think the last four years might have taken their toll a bit! 
Anyway, hope you are doing OK. You seem to have remained your strong self. i promise to phone you soon when i feel less like a tortoise hiding under a shell! 

WWaV: Hope your drugs regime is going well. You must be getting ready to fly really soon. Sounds like a military opperation is planned to get the donors and you in the right place at the right time. Its wonderful that you've managed to pull all that together. Hope eveeything is going well x

Skirtgirl, glad to see that your transfer went well. Hope thoe two little embies are snuggling in and also hope that the next couple of weeks passes quickly. 

Best Wishes everyone
Izzzy x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel this is totally the right time for 'me' posts!!  I  am sure your pains are down to the drugs, I have been having them on and off for 10 days or more so even before et!!.  Isn't it about the time for implantation maybe it was implantation pain(if there is such a thing??)  or could just be the curry sauce!!!  See I am trying to be positive It wont last I am sure.
What drugs are you taking? I have clexane aspirin prednisolone gestone and oestrogen!!!!!!

Izzy good luck for the scan, it is so nerve wracking just waiting isn't it.

My 2 are playing up as they are ill with clods and aware that  I am not up to full speed. I think they are also trying it on as I was away all last week.I am really trying to rest,relax and think positive thoughts but not doing that well. I spent all my 2ww before the kids lying on the sofa watching junk on tv. how things have changed!!!!


----------



## Rachel

Skirtgirl said:


> I spent all my 2ww before the kids lying on the sofa watching junk on tv. how things have changed!!!!


Me too! I have hardly sat down today let alone lie down!! Thanks for your post  How old are your twins? Boys, girls or both? My 2 have colds aswell! Both are very snuffly and quite miserable  Emma has a husky voice like mine too! Gosh we make a right trio! Only dh is well at the moment! When was your transfer? My beta test day is next Tuesday and peestick day is Thursday. I will no doubt cave before then though!  On the cycle with the girls I had implantation bleeding on days 8 and 10. It really worried me as I'd never had it on any of the previous cycles but obviously it was a good thing that time! The girls are at nursery tomorrow morning so I'll get a little rest.

Izzy - Thanks hun  Lots of love for your scan on Thursday x

I MUST THINK POSITIVELY        !!!!

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## Rachel

Dear Bluebell

I've just been reading your news over on the Abroadies thread. Huge hugs sweetheart. I hope everything is ok   

Lots of love, Rachel xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel mine are 5 now and I have one of each!!  They are at school all day tommorow unless one is ill and then out on playdates until 6pm so maybe I will get a lazy day as well.

I had 3 day transfer last friday and blood test is on next thursday. Not condident about getting the results back that day though so may give in to the evil pee stick!


----------



## bluebell

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to send my love to the 2WWers, and to Izzy on the '1st trimester wait' !  Hope you are all OK.  Rachel, cramping can be a sure sign of implantation, but maybe it was just wind from your big fat curry !  It seems really unlikely that you would cramp from a BFN at this stage - surely far too early.

Izzy, thanks for saying I am being strong.  Sadly, I feel far from it.  Sorry to moan, but I feel sad, angry, lacking in any energy, lonely and bleak about the future at the moment.  I can't believe my tx journey is supposed to be over, and I feel trapped because DH doesn't want to do any more.  I feel really tearful some days. I have visited the moving on threads here on FF, and I can't stand being there.  I hate the fact that we were so near yet so far TWICE with m/cs in the last 2 years - our last two fresh cycles. I hate not having a diagnosis for why they happened either.  I am really not in the mood for Xmas and am avoiding partying this year.  It feels so odd talking to friends and others who have no idea what we are going through, as I have to put on the huge act of life being normal.  I had my 1st day back in the office yesterday (I have been working from home until now for the last few weeks whereas normally I go into the office once a week) and I knew it would be hard but I was surprised by just how hard.  I felt really detached form everyone and vulnerable.  It's just crap.  In many ways this stage is harder too coz even those who know about my m/c are now moving on from it and expecting that I am OK now(DH included).  It was easier when it had just happened because there is an excuse to hide away form the world entirely.  Now I have to pick up the pieces and go onwards without the prospect of another tx to keep me going.

It's nice to hear that I seem strong to all of you.  I suppose in some ways I am, but underneath I am hurting.

Sorry, that was a big offload and lots of feeling sorry for myself.  Hope you don't mind but there's noone else who understands like you lot.

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, just wanted to wish you luck with your scan . It will be a tough moment for you, but once you are over this hurdle I really hope that you can relax more.  I remember I didn't relax until my bleeding stopped at week 16, and after that had a really fabby pregnancy !  Have been thinking of you.  1st trim torment is even harder in many ways than a 2WW.  You have climbed higher up the hill so there is further to fall.  Big hugs to you lovely chum


----------



## Rachel

Dear Bluebell

Your post brought tears to my eyes   I wish I was up there to give you a great big cuddle   

Thinking of you   

Lots of love, Rachel xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Bluebell - i have sent you a text hun...   

Just popping on  - when i should  be doing housework - sigh! - to wish the 2wwers the very very best of luck - don't know about you two but the second week was always the hardest for me - hang in there.

Just had a conversation with DH about " the Father Christmas " question - he's all for honesty when our 7 yr old asks outright but I really am not sure...

XX


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell I am so sorry for all your pain, we know that you are hurting badly which is why your support for us all is so special at the moment.

Rachel are you having a relaxing day today?  I am trying but the house is freezing so must get some blankets and hope I dont fall asleep!!!

Rsmum I know what you mean the first week is all full of hope and positivity but as test day get closer symptoms or lack of them becone so much more important, even though I know that for every symptom I get or dont there is as many positive as negative storyies out there, and that my BFP was no different to my 5 bfn's(maybe because 5 were biochems)

Hugs to everyone.


----------



## Rachel

Skirtgirl

Day 7! over halfway ish!!   I did have a relaxing morning. Had to go and get a wedding present but then came home and chilled on the sofa. Girls have played happily this afternoon so i have chilled again. Have a terrible headache today, not sure why. Maybe something to do with this sore throat thing   I do feel more positive today though which is a good thing  

Are you relaxing? Have you fallen asleep!!   

Off to do the girls tea. I can hear happy screeching coming from the playroom! They asked for their play tent and tunnel out and are now having a picnic inside! Going to make it a real picnic now! 

Love to everyone and massive hugs for Bluebell  

Rachel xxxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Rachel and Skirtgirl, thinking of you during the 2ww and sending you   

Oh Bluebell, so sorry that DH doesn't want to try again, I had trouble persuading DH to keep going too, it is so hard when you don't feel supported. Biggest of hugs to you.  

Izzy - not long until your scan, the worry never ends does it?

WWAV - you must be getting close to flying out, I so hope that you get a sibling for your DD!

Bonnie - sorry that you have entered the cold season, along with Rachel's family too, I also have a rotten cold, not good after a c-section....coughing and sneezing still painful.

RSMUM - I am inclined to keep going with Father Christmas as long a possible, it is all part of the magic!

Love to all

Jules xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

RSMUM mine are already questioning it at 5, they are far too analytical to believe a reindeer can fly! I am sad in a way but wont lie to them. I just asked them what they thought actually happened and they couldn't find a plausable answer for that so are back with good old santa! Once the decs go up and all the festivities start the magic just happens. Children do grow up so quickly these days though dont they? I wouldn't want them to get into bother about it at school.


----------



## Ms Minerva

Ahh Skirtgirl, but everyone knows that reindeer can only fly at Christmas because that is when the magic works!


----------



## Skirtgirl

quite right!!! I am sure when it comes down to it they won't risk nit believing!!!

I am so fed up of this 2ww now, note to self never do 2ww just before christmas!!!

Dh bless him is trying but is now failing to keep up! this morning

DS had virtually no underwear as dh had chosen to chuck it in a corner when it wouldn't fit in the wash and so it has missed subsequent washes,
I have a dish washer full of dirty dishes as he forgot to pu it on last night andnnow a sink full of dirty breakfast things as the dishwasher was full
DD & DS both need a paper cup full of 'bits and bobs' for the school fayer to be in tomorrow ( 3 days notice) so far dh has nothing
They also need 2 bottles of alcohol again for tomorrow for school fayer , all of ours is either too good for school or out of date!
DS has been chosed as Joseph and I need to get him a costume
My lovely luxary newly fitted kitchen is now obscured by crumbs , teas stains and recycling.

I so want to fix it all which I could today no problem but not while  taking it easy and 'resting' not sure whether to take the attitude that if this was a natural pregnancy I wouldn't know and just get on with it or carry on resting in case it gives us a better chance??

Rant over now hope you are all ok today.


----------



## bluebell

Hello everyone,
Thanks for all your sweet words and thoughts.  Of course I have up days and down days but I am just trying to take it slowly and believe that things will be brighter soon.  I am still having fun in my life and DD brings me loads of joy of course, but it is a tough one to have to adjust to not ttc any more.  It's scary not knowing how long it will be until it isn't always on your mind.  I still get the baby centre emails for DD and it said in the latest one that it is generally only 'only children' that invent imaginary friends at this age.  That is so sad.  I still would dearly love her to have a sibling so she didn't have to invent people to compensate!.
Lots of love to you all, and extra special hugs to the 2WWers and to lovely Izzy on her 1st trimester wait too - really hoping all goes well with your scan today    
Bluebell xxxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Bluebell dont worry about DD she will be fine, is she at nursery yet? once she does you will have loads of friends and playdates for her. Also my ds has his own little world populated by his own friends and his own laws and he is a twin so it is not just only children who do this. I think often children who are trying to make sense of the world. It also shows a great imagination.
I know this dosn't ease your pain and I am not trying to beittle it just to reasure you that dd wont suffer in the way you think she will.


----------



## bluebell

Thanks Skirtgirl,


----------



## Izzy x

hi everyone,

Just popping in really quickly to say that i had good news at the scan yesterday. Everything measured as it should. This means that, today, i am officially further than i got before which feels good. 

Will write more later when toddler is not trying to hit the keys on the board.
I'll just let him have a little go.

xihfio0pwzz\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\weeeweeeewfbbbbbbbbbbbbbnbkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

He makes more sense than me!
Best wishes
Izzy x


----------



## RSMUM

WOOO-HOOO IZZY!!!!!              Fantastic!

yes, poor Lily gets put in front of the computer soo many times a day she really, really, desperately wants to bash at the keys - do they make computers for 6 month olds I wonder?!

soooooo pleased for you..

XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## Skirtgirl

Izzy fantastic news!!!!! you must be so relieved, maybe now you can relax a bit and enjoy the pregnancy?


----------



## bluebell

Fabby news Izzy !!  You must stop having these late afternoon scans   - my nerves can't take it even if yours can !!    I was waiting for your news all day !  Thanks for your lovely texts - they mean a lot. You are a lovely friend.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Rachel

Fantastic news Izzy   You can relax a little now  

Lots of love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Hiya Bloobs,
I hope you're doing ok, I can see you've been finding it tough going. I tried to post in your inbox but it's full, you popular lady... 

I wanted to say hi and send you a bucketload of love. I know I haven't been where you are right now but I have gone through some major disappointments and I know it takes a long time to truly get over them- give yourself a break, lovey. I know DD will be a big comfort to you but also probably adds to the longing as she grows up and you want to do it all over again. I remember my SIL saying that our niece had started asking for a brother or sister and this was after SIL had several miscarriages- breaks your heart. DD is very lucky to have such a lovely Mummy and I hate the thought of you feeling sad, my lovely friend. If I win the lottery you will be the first to know! As for the premium bonds, we only ever win 50 quid  

Any time you fancy a chat I'm here. 

Izzy- I keep meaning to pick up the phone for a chat!!! Glad all is well, must catch up soon. 

Good luck to Rachel and Skirt girl.      
xx


----------



## mini-me

Hi girls,

Wireless connection now up and running properly so I'm back on the threads.

Izzy - fab news.  Really happy for you.  

Bluebell - sorry to hear you're having a tough time honey.    You are a lovely, lovely person and dd is lucky to have such a wonderful mummy. My baby is very likely to be an only child due to financial issues and the fact it took me 7 et's to get to this point.  Although I haven't had the longing for a 2nd child yet, I do mourn the loss of the twin at times, more so for my baby because he/she would have been his little playmate.  Take care sweetie.  

Rachel & Skirtgirl - love and best wishes for the remainder of the 2ww.  

As for me, all seems to be going ok.  Got a final scan and consultant appointment next week that will hopefully decide on the type of birth: when to induce or c-section.  Really hoping for a vaginal birth, it's only his size (head mainly that is an issue) and I'm not exactly big either!  
I'm on maternity leave now, but not before I managed to get (don't laugh!) head lice from the kids at school!  I couldn't believe it as I've hardly been at work and it had to happen at a time when our bathroom was being redone.  DH was away for the weekend too and it was difficult to bend over the bath!  Luckily I've managed to get rid of them with tons of conditioner and a nit comb (an essential for a primary teacher!).  It worked really well, much better than the chemicals I used 13 years ago when I last had them.  I met a friend for lunch about a week ago and she said my hair looked in good condition, I said it was nothing to do with the pregnancy but the amount of conditioner I've been using!  

Hi to anyone else I haven't mentioned.

Love mini-me
xxx


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone 

mini-me - I am paranoid about head lice! One of my friends' sisters has 2 girls at school and they seem to have it more often than not!   Now my girls are at nursery I tie their hair up and am constantly checking to see if they've got it! What with that and the constant checking of temperatures in case Lucy has another febrile convulsion I thik they think I am doolally!!  

Skirtgirl- How are you feeling? Have you gone   yet?!    

Well, it's day 11 today and I don't really know how I feel! I'm not interested in testing as (as someone here said before) I can be in ignorant bliss for a while! Have had af type cramps every day so far. They weren't so bad yesterday but are back today   The old witch would have been due Friday so that has come and gone and thank goodness she didn't show up. Day 11 was the day I tested positive with the girls last time but we had a 3 days transfer whereas this time its 2. Does that make a difference apart from the embryos being inside 1 day longer? I also had implantation bleeding onthe cycle with the girls on days 8 and 10 but nothing this time. Oooooh, MUST stop comparing! Every cycle is different and every pregnancy is different I know! 

I brought 2 pg tests on Friday and have put them in a very high cupboard! I don't want the   after me! 

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel, nice to hear from you I was wondering how you were and if you were managing to keep your mind occupied.

I am fine with no symptons now(had a few cramps to begin with but had these before et anyway!) . I actually keep forgetting what I am doing(ie the 2ww) I am so not emotionally there it friightens me! I even forgot my progynova on friday!!! I am sure it will kick in next week, although I do wonder if the embies never did anything and actally nothing is happening so that is why I dont feel anything. Also I didn't do the whole stims thing this time so that is different for me. 

I have so much planned for the dfya after test day I will be so shocked if I get a bfp!! it will take a lot of reorganising.

Hugs to evryone


----------



## Rachel

SG

I am the same. I think the little ones keep us so active and busy it is different to the first times round when you had not alot else to think about! It's definately gone quicker this time round   I am feeling very tearful. Not sure why. May be cause I still feel poorly (after 11 days) I have just blubbed at Enrique Iglasias singing Hero on Here Come the Boys! I did a lovely roast dinner but didn't enjoy it at all. That's VERY unusual for me. I lovge lamb chops and all the veg's and roasties   I am hoping it's a good sign as when pg with the girls I couldn't eat meat for about 5 months. (we are poultry farmers!  ) 

Keeping everything crossed for you       

Rachel x


----------



## Skirtgirl

sounds like a good sign for you!!! fingers crossed.


----------



## Rachel

Not so positive this morning   Feel really stressed and have been awake since 4.30 as Lucy couldn't find her favourite teddy. After hunting everywhere we discovered that Emma was cuddling it thinking it was hers as they have similar ones! We almost tested at 6 but resisted and now I wish we had! I have real cramps and pmt like symptoms. The girls are very sroppy today and it's only ten! Not sure hwo I am going to get through today   

Back in a bit. I can hear moaning and fighting  

Rachel x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel do you 2 watch dvd's?? this sounds like a classic cuddle on the sofa and watch tv moment. They will pick up on your mood when you are stressed and be worse. One day of tv wont hurt. Or get out the art stuff and have fun and leave it for dh to clear up!!!!
Dont test yet bit is too early and you will not believe the result anyway so dont waste the money and buy some chocolate instead!!!!
I am not positive either but trying to hold out untl thursday, I just want to know now and if it is a bfn then I can do my wailing and knashing of teeth for 10 mins whilst avoiding the children and builders who have once again turned up after a 3 month absence and get on with spring cleaning the house,decorating and putting up the decs for christmas. I am also going to pick both the children up and give them a big hug and kiss which I have missed out on over the past 2 weeks,and I am going to put very load music on and close all the curtains and do mad dancing with them!!!!
Will be here on and off all day so vent your anger here. 
I am also the witch from hell and dh spent yesterday laughing at me . Luckily I wasn't so far gone that I cpouldn't laugh as well!!!!


----------



## Rachel

Thank you   I have really missed picking up the girls too. They cry when I can't but rub my tummy for me! They just don't understand. I am going to the doctors with Emma in a bit as she won't take her medicine and has a chesty cough   We have forced it in a couple of time but she gets so stressed which isn't good if she's poorly! I am so worried as I just haven't rested enough this time. It's been impossible. Even when I've grabbed a few minutes one of them wants something and I have to get up again. They are at that age when if I don't do things immediately they strop   Very tiring. I am counting down the hours until I go for the beta test tomorrow! My lovely sil is taking them to music class, illness permitting and I am going to the Priory on my own. I should get the result in the afternoon. I will be amazed if it's positive after the 2 weeks it's been!  

I know what you mean about being the witch from hell!! I have snapped at dh a few times and normally we never really fall out at all. Little things seem to annoy me when I feel like this  

    For you. I hope you're resting  

Rachel  x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Oh a test tommorow!! I am jelous mine is thursday and I have a rule not to deviate from my instuctions!!
I am nervous about getting the result though as I am getting it done locally and although the dr has said same day last time he said that it was a week!!! I dont really feel confident with the pee sticks either as I have had 4 chem pregs so only an actual beta level will reassure me!!!


----------



## RSMUM

HUGE      to you both!

xx


----------



## Sasha B

Rachel & Skirtgirl,

Just wanted to wish you both all the best for your test dates. Well done for getting through the 2ww. You're nearly there.

Sasha xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Good luck to Rachel and Skirtgirl!

Jules xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Sasha, lovely to see you posting, think of you often.  

Jules 

xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Thanks Jules , Sasha and RSmum. The 2ww is so much longer than 2 weeks surely?

Rachel did you have your test today?   

I am miserable today with a cold and bad throat so off now to weep into my herbal tea at another chick flick!!!
Trying to do some positive visulisation but it gave me a headache!! Must try harder.

Hugs to you all.


----------



## mini-me

Rachel & Skirtgirl - good luck for testing.     

Love 
mini-me xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Good luck Rachel and Skirtgirl.

Here is lots of lucky fairydust to send you on your way. 
   

Best Wishes
Izzy x


----------



## radnorgirl

Rachel and Skirtgirl - good luck to you bith     

Helen
x


----------



## Rachel

Hello everyone

Not good news I am afraid. Levels came back at less than 0.5 so a definate negative for us   We had already done a hpt this morning which was negative so kind of expected the bloods to confirm it   Not sure where we go from here. We're both gutted. I can't even cry, I feel so numb. We put so much into this. Emotionally, logisitically etc. I feel exhausted with it all. Having the virus for the whole 2ww hasn't helped. I still feel crap and wonder if this hasn't helped the outcome   I know I haven't rested as much as I would have liked to since returning home but with 2, 2 1/2 year olds how can you! 

Anyway, enough negativity. Got a bottle of wine to open tonight and will probably veg with fish and chips! 

Skirtgirl - Thinking of you. Got everything crossed for you     

Love to everyone and thank you for your love and support  

Rachel x


----------



## bluebell

Rachel have been waiting for your news all day.
Soooooooooooooooo sorry sweetie.        
I know what you mean about everyhting that we invest in tx.  It seems so unfair when you have put so much effort in.  Whenever a cycle failed for me I found myself annoyed about the big things, but also the little things, e.g. "I could have had that rare steak after all", or "I could have galloped on that horse", or "I could have run for the bus that I missed " or "I needn't have picked those bits of sausage out of the gulasch in that restaurant" etc etc.  
I can see from your post that you are doing what we all do - kind of putting some of the blame on yourself, ie re not resting during the 2WW.  Pleeeeeeease don't blame yourself.  We all do it, but we all know that there is no evidence to suggest that what we do physically (unless we perhaps ran a marathon in a desert) would affect the result.  Pleeeeeeeeease be kind to yourself.  You are too lovely to deserve anything else but gentle tlc.
So sorry  
Lots of love and enjoy the wine if you can.  I will be thinking of you and I am so sad that it had to be this way for you after all you have been through.  PM me if you want to rant/ moan / a shoulder to cry on.  
Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Oh Rachel so sorry for your BFN. I know there are no words that will help you.
I am sure that lack of rest wasn't the reason, for some unknown reason this was not your time. Ther is no logic and it is so cruel.
I hope you start to feel better physically soon and I hope the pain will eventually ease for you. Maybe take some time over christmas and enjoy yopur girls and see how you feel in the new year.

Lots of love to you and DH.


----------



## RSMUM

oh Rachel - I am so sorry to read your post - Bluebell said it so well, we all do exactly that - blame ourselves - when we should be congratulating ourselves for have the strength and the bracery to go through what we do - I've blamed myself for everything from doing too much to doing too little - i remember i was once told i could've played volleyball and it wouldn't have made a difference - take care sweetheart and savour that wine


----------



## Sasha B

Dear Rachel,

Sorry I haven't been around to support you through this cycle and I am so sorry that its a negative. As everyone has said (and I know its not always easy to do), but please don't blame yourself. Its just the cruel reality of IVF being such a lottery. You've invested everything into it both physically and emotionally and there is a grieving when it doesn't work because you have the reality of what could have been in the form of your girls, right in front of your eyes. Take care of yourself.

Sending you lots of love &     .

Sasha xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Rachel, so sorry that this cycle didn't work out for you. I think Bluebell wrote beautifully about the big and small things that make it so hard after a negative. I hope that your wine is nice tonight and you'll enjoy scooping your little girls high up into the air again tomorrow. Its so hard though and remember that we are all here if you need us. 

Sasha, so nice to see you posting again. x

Best Wishes
Izzyx


----------



## mini-me

Rachel - so sorry honey.  As others have said, please don't blame yourself for not resting enough. Take care.

love
mini-me xxx


----------



## bluebell

Sasha...soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lovely to have you back !


----------



## nats210

Rachel so sorry to read your news it is such an emotional journey we go through.
Take care and try not to do the what if's there was nothing you did wrong it just wasn't mean't to be even though it is so hard to accept.
Big hugs

Fingers crossed for you Skirtgirl.
love to all
nats
x


----------



## Rachel

Thank you all for your kind words. It helps so much that you all know EXACTLY what I mean when I write it. 

I treated myself to a cut and blow dry this morning. It was nice to be pampered for a bit. I don't get to the hairdressers often but as I was a hairdresser and my sister was too we tend to do each others! I also have to vouchers for spa's that I was given for my 40th and am maybe going to use one on Sat if I can get booked. My lovely dad is going to have the girls for me  

Thanks again  

Skirtgirl -       

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel still thinking of you and wishing your bfn was a bfp, ypou sound as if you have a good plan for the weekend though.

After 2 weeks of coping I fell apart last night, got backache which I have had twice this cycle before a bleed and a big spot a sure sign AF is around. Also started major knocker checking, not easy on the school run or while visiting local garden centre christmas display with 4 excited 5 yr olds!!!!
DH was out partying last night and got in late so my gestone was late and I was well grumpy esp as he was a little worse for wear!!!
Have been for the blood test this morning and am awaiting the results without much hope. I am hoping they will be in before the children get home though as I need a little breakdown time.
I am back to bed now in my pj's feeling sorry for myself with the wait and my cold.

Hugs to you all and thanks for your support so far.


----------



## Rachel

Thanks Skirtgirl   It's starting to sink in that it didn't work now   I feel quite down today. I seem to feel more poorly today aswell which isn't helping. Just want to get into bed. We've got the craft stuff out! The playroom is covered in glitter etc! We've made Christmas decorations  

I have been thinking about you all day. Praying that you get a good result    

Love, Rachel xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

I am nervously announcing we have a  

Level was 132  does that sound low to you? we have 700 last time.  Have had so many chem pregs I daren't get excited.


----------



## RSMUM

have been thinking of you all day!!


----------



## Rachel

Well done!!! So pleased for you      Great news 

Found this. Not sure if it helps.

_from conception from LMP ( mIU/ML or IU/L)
7 days 3 weeks 0 to 5
14 days 28 days 3 to 426
21 days 35 days 18 to 7,340
28 days 42 days 1080 to 56,500
35 - 42 days 49 - 56 days 7,650 to 229,000
43 - 64 days 57 - 78 days 25,700 to 288,000
57 - 78 days 79 - 100 days 13,300 to 253,000
17 - 24 weeks 2nd trimester 4060 to 65,400
25 wks to term 3rd trimester 3640 to 117,000

LMP is last menstrual period.

"A blood serum level of less than 5 mIU/ml (5 IU/L) can be considered negative and anything above 25 mIU/ml (25 IU/L) positive for pregnancy. If you are unsure, repeat the test in two days to see if there is an upward trend, which indicates pregnancy."

"HCG is detectable in the blood serum of approximately 5% of pregnant women by 8 days after conception, and in virtually all the rest by 11 days. HCG rises progressively from conception. Levels double on the average, every 30.9 hours until values reach 6500 mIU/ml (6,500 IU/L) at approximately the eighth week after the last menstrual period (LMP). After that the rate of rise becomes individualized, peaking between the 60th and 70th day (9 to 10 weeks) LMP. HCG decreases slightly between the 12th and 16th week post LMP, and then remains constant until birth. "_

132 is in the right place as far as I can see!!

Rachel xxx


----------



## Sasha B

Congratulations on your BFP Skirtgirl! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## bluebell

Fantastic news Skirtgirl !  Yipppeeeeeeeeeeeee !!! That level sounds fine.  How many days past ec were you ?  Wishing you a happy and hgealthy pregnancy.  You deserve it. 
Love Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Hi girls

I'm sorry I have not been around for ages. I was packed off to my parent's house with Monty last week as I have been struggling to cope looking after him on my own. Pete was on nights which meant that I had Monty day and night with no help and it was all too much. I am just exausted.

First of all Rachel I am so sorry to hear of your BFN.   

Skirtgirl - Brilliant news honey   The beta number is great. My hcg with Monty was very similiar at 134

We had a scan on Tuesday and both boys are doing well. Their estimated weights were 834g and 695g compared to the average weight of 660g for 25 weeks so we were pleased with this. We see the consultant tomorrow.

Sorry for the lack of personals but I am exhausted. Off to bed now

love to all

Helen
x


----------



## nats210

Wonderful news Skirtgirl congratulations.

Help Helen sounds like you really will have your hands full when the boys arrive.

Big hug Rachel it's horrible having the up & down days, hope you get into the spa.
xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Helen sounds like you are getting some much needed help, enjoy it and try to get some rest.

I emailed the clinic who said my level was great. But my uk dr confirmed that 13 days post transfer it could have been higher. He is retesting on monday and I am going to spend the weekend doing christmas things with the children. As he said I cant do anything else.


Have a good weekend everyone.


----------



## radnorgirl

Skirtgirl

Are you getting a second beta done?


----------



## Skirtgirl

Yes on monday so    it goes up.


----------



## Rachel

I shall be praying for you too    Here's to a good figure on Monday for you   

Rachel x


----------



## bluebell

Hello,
Just checked my messages Skirtgirl and Ruth (nurse here on FF) told me that a viable pregnancy generally needs a level of "at least 80 or above on day 14 post egg collection and then with the doubling every 48 hours".  As yours was 132 15 days post ec, yours would have been at least 80, so this is hopefully reassuring for you.  Mine would have been less than that as mine was ony 196 day 18 post ec.  
Wishing you all the best and hope you are having as chilled a weekend as you can.
I am sorry you are having to wait and worry.  It's more scary that the 2WW isn't it ?!
Love Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Thanks Bluebellxxxxx

It is just so close to the mark and I have had 4 chemical pregnancies in the pst it is hard to believe.


----------



## mini-me

Skirtgirl - congratulations on your bfp!  
The levels sound good to me!  Good luck for your beta on Monday.

Helen - very healthy weights for twins.   


Had my final scan this week at 33w 5d and all is well.  Baby's weight was estimated at 2325g or just over 5lbs, so he will probably be around 8lb something at term.  It looks like we're going for a vaginal birth (even though baby's head is on the 90th percentile  ouch!) but I will be induced at 40 weeks due to mild GD - if I have to go on insulin (looking increasingly unlikely) it will be 38 weeks.

I have virtually finished my shopping list for baby and me now, I've even got my tens machine even though I can't trial it out before 37 weeks! I'm ready to pack my bag now, is that too organised?!

Best wishes to all,
mini-me xxx


----------



## three_stars

HI ladies!
Congrats again to skirtgirl!!  I know you are worrying so I hope mondays test is perfect for you. 
Helen- glad you are getting some help.  Hang in there.  
Mini-me- sounds like you are all ready to go.  Take it easy these last weeks.
Rachel- so  sorry this cycle was negative for you.  I hope you are taking good care of yourself this weekend and feeling ok.
Earthekitt- not sure if you are reading but hope you are well. 
Same goes for Bluebell, Nats, Safarigirl RSmum and everyone else.
Love,
Bonnie


----------



## bluebell

Just popped in to say     to Rachel.

and good luck to Skirtgirl today    

and also to WWAV.  You must be cycling by now, so sending you lots and lots of love and luck.

Izzy, big kisses to your mini-bump.

Bluebell xxxxx


----------



## Sasha B

Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd post to say that like Dawn, I have had a promotion and have been offered the post of nursery manager at Bella's nursery! I am not sure about further tx next year as my mum's health is not good and I my parents feel like they can't support me emotionally through another cycle. I can understand their point of view and feel like I need more time to heal from my miscarriage. I still have a deep desire to have another child and have not decided to closed the tx door altogether. 

I want to sat thank you to all of you. You have been such caring and supportive friends. I will always be around to provide support & advice on FF but may not be posting as much I have done previously. 

Much love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## bluebell

Sasha, wonderful news about that job !!    
Well done, and you deserve it as I know you have been trying hard to juggle everything and get a good job.  Will phone soon for a catch up and can't wait to see you and Bella at Xmas.

Skirtgirl, thinking of you.

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Rachel

Sasha

Wonderful news about the job. Well done   

Totally understand you taking a break from FF but don't be a stranger   

Lots of love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Rachel

Thanks for the hugs Bloobs   How are you?

I've been feeling really sad for the last few days. The bleeding started on Friday and it's obviousy worse than a normal af as i had that lovely lining   We've been discussing where to go from here and have decided to make an appointment at our UK clinic to see our consultant there. I have had a chat today with one of the nurses who knows us well a to get her thoughts on us trying with my eggs again. I have lost 4 stones since the last time and she suggested having an AMH test done to see whats going on. I don't know much about the AMH but will Google it! She said it's the new test instead of FSH, LH, Oestrodial etc but is better. Very nervous about going to see him as he wrote off my eggs after our 2nd cycle failed but every time we went to see him he mentioned me losing weight! Well, I have. Not sure if it makes a difference or not   We are going to go for it naturally for the next couple of months although I don't hold much hope! Dh is pleased as it means more action!! ( we haven't done much since before the girls were born!- too scared when pg then too knackered whent hey came along!! )  

WHat a horrible damp dark day it is today   Hope it's brighter tomorrow  

Love to everyone 

Rachel xx

Skirtgirl - Thinking of you


----------



## bluebell

Rachel,
    
It is horrible having that post tx bleed isn't it ?  I feel for you.
Good that you are looking forward and good luck with the     
Be kind to yourself and I hope that your littlies are cheering you up.  My DD keeps me smiling.
I am still feeling fed up and still don't quite know where to turn next.  I am hoping that time will help me settle into being where I am wtih my one lovely daughter.  It is a big struggle though and I wake up every morning thinking about it.  Had major PMT the last week or so and really sore nipples (sorry tmi !!   - much worse than during 2WW or pregnancy !  Now have just dark spotting.  After my last m/c I had a proper AF again, so I hope my body gets back to normal again soon this time.
Loads of love to you Rachel and big kisses to your girlies.

WWAV, just to let you know that I am thinking of you if you are reading this and in the middle of tx. 

Love to everyone else,

Bloobs xxxxxx


----------



## RSMUM

sorry - don't have time to post but i just wanted to let you girls know i'm thinking of you all -    to those that need them..wish i could do more but hope  just getting a few mini-cyber hugs helps a wee bit....ooh and    to some others too...and    to dawn and sasha on your promotions! fabby news ! 

xx to you all


----------



## Skirtgirl

Rachel so sorry you are feeling so bad today, as Bluebell says that post tmt bleed is the worst. It is understandable that you feel this way and hopefully time will take the edge off for you and the New Year will bring you the BFP you deserve. In the meantime get down to thet bms and put a smile on DH face. 

Bluebell   I think about you often, I hope that your body gets back to normal soon,I know it will take longer emotionally though. Please dont go away if you need us, you have always been there for us and we will always be here for you. I am sure that your DD is going to give you a magical christmas time this year.

mini me glad all went well with your scan, sounds like your little one is a good weight already my ds wasn't much more than that when he was born! Not long now I bet you cant wait can you?

Just had a call to say my beta was ok but no figures as they had forgotton to phone me earlier and were doing it from memory!!!

Hugs to eveyone else


----------



## bluebell

Skirtgirl  - yipppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!  
Bluebellxxx


----------



## three_stars

Skirtgirl.. hope you get your results soon!!

Rachel- sorry you are feeling down.  The AMH is Anti-Mullerian Hormone  ( hope I spelled that right )  A few  years ago I researched it a lot as it was being used by the french DR. along with the FSH and LH to decide if you had any chance for IVF stimulation to work for you and mine came back fairly negative 2 cycles in a row.  That is when he shook my hand, patted me on the shoulder as he lead me to the door with a smile and said be happy with the lovely little girl I had.  I must say I was in shock and said nothing , or mumbled thanks I think and then went in the WC and cried.  I then went home and shortly started researching this test.  At the time not many other places heard of it or considered it important.  SO I defiantly went on to waste more time and money having more cycles with my eggs. I do think it is a test that should be a standard among the first blood tests done before any fertility tx ( as well as a hysterscopy -  I know I know  repeating myself again here) 
My result was 0.04 but if I recall correctly you are looking for a result of 2 or more.
If you do the search on this site you may find some of my old posts about AMH

Hello to Debs, Sasha, Mini me, WWAV, Bluebell and everyone else.
PS  snowed for a bit today in Paris!!  Very unusual.  Very cold here.  I hate cold


----------



## Skirtgirl

got my result and it was 566 so more than doubling (just) so now am trying to stay positive until friday.
When will they be able to see a heartbeat? I hav a scan booked for  6 weeks +3 is that too early? Otherwise I cant get one until after christmas!!!

Bonnie I also hate the cold and I amsure inside my house is colder than outside. Paris must look so pretty in the snow??


----------



## three_stars

skirtgirl-  oh that's fab!!!  Great news.  Congrats!!!  I think you should be able to see heartbeat(s) at 6 weeks from ET.  Depends on the dr. skills and the machine quality I think. 
How old are your twins ?( I just saw in your signature , maybe you spoke about them before but I missed it.. sorry).bonnie


ps  the snow rain turned breifly to big flakes and was hoping that DD would at least see it at her school.  It has now turned back to the cold wet icy rain.  Snow is not very often seen in paris and rarely sticks.


----------



## Skirtgirl

My babies are 5 now!!! they grow so quickly.


----------



## RSMUM

Bonnie - wanted to say a very belated   to you - so sweet of your DD - she sounds like a lovely little girl


----------



## Izzy x

Skirtgirl, many congrats on your BFP and your beta numbers. Thats fab news. The heartbeat seems to be seen first between 6 and 7 weeks. I would go with your scan at 6+3 because the waiting is torture! I was reading today that Christmas excitement peaks at the age of 5 so you are going to have a lovely one (if a little hectic!). 

Rachel, Great news that you can have a go at using your own eggs. Although i don't mind at all about using DE, i would love to create a baby after a  Shiraz and a   !! Takes away the worry of airport protesters ruining everything at the last minute! Seriously though, i'm so glad that you have a plan and i hope that the next couple of months go well for you. Sorry to hear that you've been feeling sad for the last few days. Its so hard xxxxx

Sasha, congrats on your job. It sounds excellent to be where Bella is. I would love that.....having sneaky peeps through the door !! Really sorry to hear about your Mums health. I know what you mean about leaning on parents....they go through it too. I hope that she is OK so that you can persue your journey when the time seems right. Glad that you are going to continue posting. xxxx

Debs, how are you doing. Not sure if Lilly is moving around yet but i bet you are busy. So nice of you to continually wish us luck and be there for us all. i wonder if you would ever go back for a 3rd? Have you got frosties at all!?. 



B123: Ahhhhh, snow in Paris. That would be so beautiful. I hope your lovely twins are doing well and your DD. I'm sure she'll get to see snow soon. Maybe on Christmas Day! (hope so, then i don't have to go to MIL house !!!) Thanks for explaining about the AMH......i often wonder if i should have got tested more. After 1 fsh test the Dr diagnosed me and my DE IVF journey started. I remember sitting in the car crying afterwards....all happened in 10 minutes so i guess it was shock. I remembered this when you said about your experience. You know so much about everything and thank you for sharing it xx 

Bluebell, Sounds like your body is reacting to everything that has happened to it. Its just pants that it continues to make things hard for you. Has Ria had enough of your cuddles yet? My little boy started sending me away in the summer after the m/c. He'd go "No Mummy, No Mummy, No cuddles!". Just made me want to do it more because it was cute! Hope that your body settles down again soon xxx

WWAV: hope tx is going well and your donors are ready to descend on IM! Thinking of youxxxx

Giggly, Lots of good luck for your scan on Sat. i'm sure it will be an amazing experience.xxx

Mini Me: Last but not least. I've been saving this post because i'm so happy for you. When i met you, you were really petite so the thought of that head must be making your eyes water a little!!! i'm sure things will go really well and, if you do end up having a c-section, i've got to say that mine was a really positive experience. hope it doesn't come to that though. Not long to go at all now. hope you will get to put your feet up for the entire Christmas break.  did you say that your sister is also having a baby (might be mistaken) Could they be born on the same day?! Make sure you let us know how the next few weeks go. 

As for me, i had a scan on Mon and things are still going well. the baby measured correctly. I have my nuchal scan on Fri because it is part of the 12 week scan in my area. Might start breathing again after that(i'll have a think about it!) i also registered with the midwife yesterday and cried while i was there. Blimey, i bet they think they've got a right one on their hands! Could feel the tears coming and then....they came! oh dear! 

Best Wishes Everyone, especially those that i haven't posted to individually.

Izzy x


----------



## radnorgirl

Hello there all my lovelies

Sorry for going awol again.  I am sorry but "me post" coming up.This is what happened which ended up with me in hospital after a really awful experience. We had had an easy morning with myself and dh at home. Monty and I had an afternoon nap and dh went to work. Later on that afternoon something was just not right. Monty and I were upstairs and suddenly I started feeling a bit weak and dizzy. On top of that the positioning of one of the babies meant that he was pressing on a nerve in the top of my leg - you know the sort of thing where it sends a shooting pain down your leg which makes you double over. Monty was unable to climb down the stairs on his own and I was unable to carry him downstairs. We were stuck upstairs After about an hour and a half Monty was complaining that he was hungry and thirsty but there was still no way I could risk carrying him down. I had the telephone but not my mobile upstairs so I only had telephone numbers that I knew in my head. All I needed was someone to come in and carry him downstairs. However, we have a large dog who looks like a doberman who is not going to let anyone he does not know in the house and it had to be someone willing to come in the house with the dog there. The three prople that I could think of whose telephone numbers I knew were not answering their phones. 

By this time I was starting to get a bit stressed by the situation. It was then that the tightenings started. I rang my Mum (who lives 300 miles away) and she rang Pete on his mobile at work. He was an hour and a half away. Luckily he had the telephone number of another friend and neighbour who was at home who came round straight away. I was a blubberibg wreck. She took Monty and I slowly went down stairs. By now the braxton hicks were worrying me. They were far too frequent - every few minutes and lasting longer and becoming more painful. I tried to remain calm as I was convinced that these were BH and this was all brought on by stress and I was not having contractions.

My friend took Monty back to her house and I went and got in the bath. The tightenings stopped. An hour later as I was getting out of the bath Pete got home. As soon as I stood up the tightenings started again. I rang the midwife and they told me to go straight up to the hospital. The tightenings continued but were easing in both severity and frequency. Both babies were doing fine. My cervix was still closed thank goodness. They gave me steriod injections for the babies lungs just to be on the safe side.

They wanted to keep me in hospital for a couple of nights but I managed to persuade them to let me go home the following evening. Yesterday I went to the GPs and got signed off sick for the rest of my pregnancy. After seeing a scan on Thursday DH is driving me up to my parents house whilst he is on nights. My Mum can't come down here as she has her own medical appointments that she cannnot miss after having a tumour removed from her spine.

I have had time to catch up with all of your news. I will post again when I am up at my Mums and catch up with personals.

Love to everyone

Helen
x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Izzy  so glad your scan went well, every milestone is so important isn't it?

Helen, you poor thing it sounds so frightening. I hope you are resting a lot now, you have to keep those babies cooking a bit longer. Do you have anyone who can help you out with Monty at the moment? I am praying everything is settling down for you now.


----------



## mini-me

Helen - how scary for you.    
Hope you're feeling better now and resting if you can, although it is difficult with a small child.  I was signed off work from about 27 weeks and went on mat leave at 31 weeks and this reduced the frequency of tightenings and BH for me.  Hope it helps you too sweetie.  

Izzy - so pleased the scan went well for you, it will be lovely to see babe again on Friday.  Thank you for your lovely post, yes my sister is due around the same time.  My due date is 9 days after hers, but if we went on scan dates (they haven't on mine as it's ivf) we're only 4 days apart!

Skirtgirl - good news re the doubling beta numbers, sounds good to me.

Sasha and Dawn - congratulations on your promotions! 

Sasha, Bluebell & Rachel -    Thinking of you.  

RSMUM & Bonnie - the birthday girls!    Hope I've got that right now!

Love mini-me
xxx


----------



## bluebell

Helen, Blimey what a nightmare for you.  Hope it all settles down for you.  Make sure you get plenty of tlc !

Izzy, FANTASTIC news !  I am so happy for you that you can really begin to relax now.

Mini-me, not long for you now !

Love to everyone else,
Bluebell xxxxxx


----------



## roze

Dear all,

Sorry for not posting much recently- had a few bad weeks and have now been made redundant. Today was my last day. The package wasn't bad so we will manage for most of next year even if I do not get another job.  However having been back only 6 months, and its taken me that time to get into the swing of things, I am dreading more time off as I really do want to be in the world of work, albeit part time work. Who knows what is going to happen with the way things are economically. I have to say its been the 6 months from hell since June, one way or the other, with one thing on top of another. I just wish someone would write a book on working motherhood as it really can be crap with the wrong employer! The more legislation there is to help the more strategies they seem to develop in order to get out of them, or so it seems.

We are increasingly resigned to not having another baby however when I see a newborn or other pregnant women I really do have pangs.
DD is so wonderful that I really do tell myself that worrying this way means I don't have time to enjoy her so much, and that I really must stop, as the energy needs to go into her and to me/DH so that we can grow and enjoy each other as a family. I don't want this yearning to stop other areas of our personal development and  happiness as DD deserves to have her parents at their best and happiest and most fulfilled.

Will read up on others postings soon but wanted to say hi especially to Helen who has clearly had a frightening experience. I am glad however that you are now signed off so that you can relax hopefully for the rest of your pregnancy. Work and all its pressures do not help.

Skirtgirl and Izzy, so glad that things are going well and best of luck with the scans.

Hi to everyone else- will catch up on everyones posts soon and Bloobs, will call this weekend as promised.

love

roze  xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Roze so sorry to hear about your redundancy, it must be so hard for you. I found although those pangs dont ever go away you do learn how to control them. Even though after 5 year we have finally had another go and got a bfp it was more dh bringing it up than me. Not that I wasn't up for it but I jhad managed to package those emotions up and pack them away some where deepinside.

We had our scan today and happily saw a little sack measuring just over 5 weeks which was ok!!!


----------



## Skirtgirl

ust a quick update on us , we went for a scan today which confirmed my fears. The sac that we saw on friday has stopped growing. The dr said he could now see 2 sacs which he thinks means the first has started to break down. Have to have another scan and some bloods tomorrow just to confirm hcg is in fact falling as it should be.He said he doesn't think there was ever an embryo in there.
Will probably take a short break from FF now while we have christmas and then prepare to go get our snow babies in the new year.
Off to swing the children high in the sky, drink mulled wine and eat runny eggs!!!!

Sorry about the lack of personals.

Merry Christmas and babydust to all my fab FF friends. Thanks for all the support and I will be back soon.


----------



## RSMUM

Oh Ellie - i am so sorry to read this - so, so sad - my heart really goes out to you

Helen - I was so shocked to read your post - what a nightmare!

I shouldn't really be on here as I am MANIC and sooo     as, is it just me, but I am fed up with being up past midnight wrapping pressies etc while other members of the family have a giggle, watch telly,go to bed when they feel like it etc..etc.. in other words " bah humbug!" ....sigh - well, better go - R needs to be put to bed - then the house needs to be tidied at least a bit and I have MORE pressies to wrap and cards to write - unbelievably!  
      to you all!!!!     

xxxxxxxx


----------



## Rachel

Happy Christmas everyone  

Love, Rachel, Lucy and Emma xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi everyone, hope you all had a merry Christmas.

After the stress and trauma of being told I had miscarried a couple of days before christmas. I went back for another scan in a different hospital but same Dr and he found a heartbeat!!!!!! so the game is not over yet. It made a much happier christmas for us even though I had to keep away from the runny eggs and mulled wine!!!


----------



## Misty C

What wonderful news Skirtgirl, I bet it was a marvelous Christmas!
A belated Merry Christmas to you all and here's looking forward to the best 2009 for everyone.
Love
Misty C
x


----------



## radnorgirl

Brilliant news skirtgirl   

Helen
x


----------



## nats210

Wishing you all a New Year and may your dreams come true.

Skirtgirl delighted to read your news may your little one keep on fighting.

love Nats
xx


----------



## Izzy x

Skirtgirl, fabulous news on your beans little heartbeat. Hope you managed to find some time to take it easy over Christmas. Probably doubtful that you did with 2 excited 5 year olds! 

We have finally got home again after an epic Christmas with mil. I've got loads of catching up to do on the boards. Had a bit of a strange experience while down at Mil house actually. 
Throughout our treatment, we have oly told our parents and our siblings about our treatment. We have kept all of it a secret from everyone else because we wanted to make sure that we were the ones who told our future children about the process we have been through. This is why ff has been such an amazingly valuable thing for me.......you lot know more thatn my best friends! 
Anyway, when we were at mil house we met up with my sil and told her about the new pregnancy. She started making a few comments in front of her teenage children about the treatment (not too intrusive but enough to annoy us a bit). The next day my DH rang her up and explained to her that we did not want her children to know because we wanted to protect our little boy and make sure that we told him the information urselves, at the right time. My DH is a very calm man and he spoke to her very politely. She chucked a wobbly back at him and started threatening that she was going to tell her children if they asked. DH pointed out to her that they won't ask if nothing makes them suspicious (eg her comments). Her children are aged 13-22. 
Anyway, she has us over the bail because we can't argue with her in case she tells the children for some sort of revenge. We are both upset over this because we can't really believe that she has turned on us. DH has always been closse to her and i got on well with her. 
Dh is not going to phone her again but i am worried that she has enough information to hurt our little family, One way tickets to Australia seem to be the only solution. 

Anyway, sorry that it is a me post. Just when i thought that the future was looking easier! Can't beleive how some people can turn on their own family like that. Feel so sorry that this has happened as DH feels responsible as it is his sister. I hate to see him sad. 

Anyway, Happy New Year to everyone, We've had a lot of fun this Christmas.....its not all been bad so don't feel too sorry for me! 

Best wishes
Izzy x


----------



## Grumpygirl

Oh Izzy, that makes me so mad! I hope she keeps her trap shut and you don't go to Australia as we would miss you. Some people are so  nasty sometimes. I think some people have more of an empathy chip in their brains than others. Whatever happens you and your DH will deal with everything sensitively I know, and your little family will always be very happy, I don't doubt it. Try not to let her bother you, hun. You have your little one to think of and nurture, whereas she's probably got her own issues right now. Grrrr. 
Sending you massive hugs, hun. Give me a ring if you fancy a download. Happy new year!
love
Giggly
xx


----------



## Sasha B

Dear Izzy,

I feel exactly the same, it should be your right to tell your children when and how you think fit and your SIL should respect that. Do you know why she got so defensive. Is is because she doesn't want to keep the info from her children or just maybe could there be a bit of jealousy involved (I'm not saying there is, but its just a shot in the dark). I am so sorry that you've had to go through this. I have started to tell Bella that "a very special lady gave mummy her baby seed because mummy couldn't make any of her own". I know your DS is about the same age so maybe its something worth mentioning whenever the right opportunity comes up. You shouldn't however feel pressured into telling you DS regardless of what your SIL threatens. I hate to say it, but if she does go ahead and tells her kids it might be best to keep away until you feel ready to broach the subject with your DS. 

Sasha xxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Izzy - I am with Giggly on this one - totally infuriated by sil's behaviour. Do you think it may be about her just being selfish and focusing on the fact that it is up to her what and when she tells her children rather than focusing on the actual issue and the potential implications for your children? I sometimes worry that I have told too many people about our treatment and that Monty and his brothers will find out from someone else before we have told him.

I had a house full over Xmas - my parents and Dh's parents. We told them both the names that we have picked - Wilfred (Wilf or Freddie) Hugh and Jasper Harry. Well this was met with a face of thunder by the Mil - Wilfred is the name of an old man she kept telling us. We explained that he would be known as Wilf or Freddie and that Wilfred was my Grandfather's name but none of this seemed to help. We thought the middle names would serve as a sweetner (my Dad is Harry and fil is Hugh) but it is almost like she did not hear this bit! I think we are just going to have to accept that she does not like the names. She is in her 80's and at times set in her ways a bit.

Just after Xmas I had a bit of a scare. I went to the local birthing unit for a glucose tolerance test. Whilst I was there the midwife decided to monitor the babies (I had seen her for monitoring a couple of days previously and she was aware that some days I did not feel the babies move at all). Anyway cut a long story short she thought I was in the early stages of labour and they told me to go straight to the hospital 45 minutes drive away. I rang my Dad to pick me up as dh was at work and I went home. I hadn't eaten since the night before because of the blood tests and there was no way I was going on an empty stomach!! Fortunately it all turned out to be a false alarm. We made it back to the birthing centre for our scan and both bioys are doing fine and growing well.

Going up to my mum's house in Yorkshire next week for a fortnight. I am just not up to the job of looking after Monty and need help on hand all the time which is just not an option at home. I will be back home for the last week of January and I don't think I will be going anywhere after that.

Happy new year to you all

love
Helen
x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Helen how scary, glad you are ok now. As far as names go you stick with waht you have , I think they are great names. I thinkmit is always a good idea to tell friends and family as little as possible as people always seem to feel they have a right to have a view!!!

Izzy I am so sorry about your sil she seems to be so selfish.I hope she gets over it and doesn't spoil things for you.


----------



## Skirtgirl

I have just had another scan and finally they have confirmed that my little bean has stopped growing and the heartbeat is no longer. Really gutted obviously but not surprised if I am honest. Just go 1 hr to get it together before the school run.


----------



## Misty C

Skirtgirl, I'm so very sorry to hear this news,   please look after yourself. 
Misty C
x


----------



## Izzy x

Skirtgirl,

I'm so very, very sorry to read your news. you seem so strong on these threads so i hope that you are doing OK. 

Make sure you keep posting whenever you need to. We are all here for you.

Izzy x


----------



## nats210

Hi Ladies

Helen sorry to hear of your ups & downs, have a good rest and take care. Love the names as well.

Izzy how cruel is your sil, it is a hard enough decision to go for DIVF and tell people, i hope she sits down and thinks about what she said and realises it would be very selfish of her.

Skirtgirl so sorry to read your news, life can be so cruel.

Well i finally plucked up the courage to email Ruth and now have my FET plan for mid Feb, help! I need to get myself geared up again to go and start the positive thinking, we have never had a fet cycle.

Take care all
nats
xx


----------



## Skirtgirl

nats how exciting! it is good to have a plan. I have never done a fet either but am planning one soon!! so it will be good to hear how it goes for you.

I have just managed to tell my parents but still keep bursting into tears at the drop of a hat despite being all logical in my brain!! Planning the next cycle as soon as this has all settled down(no idea when that will be) and am planning to go back for twins this time!!! 

Hope you are all not too cold.

Take Care


----------



## roze

Skirtgirl, I am so very sorry. 


roze x.


----------



## Rachel

Skirtgirl - So very very sorry to read your news sweetheart. It's so unfair. Look after yourself   

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Skirtgirl - I am so sorry hun. What you have been through has simply been awful.

Skirtgirl and Nats - good luck with the FET. I am a firm believer in FET - Monty is a snow baby. There seem to be an awful lot of them on the abroadies threads.

Helen
x


----------



## aldo

Hi ladies

Wonder if I may join you, I have a dd from ceram she is now 6 mths old and I am looking to go over for frosties soon

x


----------



## radnorgirl

Aldo

Welcome on board. Have you any idea when you are going out to Ceram yet?

Helen
x


----------



## Newday

has anyone heard from Wavvvvvv I know she was having treatment in december
dawn


----------



## crusoe

Dawn - I was wondering the same thing! Hope you are ok Wwav - I'm sending you lots of love and postitive thoughts!
      

Crusoe
xxx


----------



## roze

Dear all,

Also thinking about WWAV! Hope everything is OK, whereever you are!

I have volunteered to arrange a meet of 'oldies/second time abroadies, etc' on another thread. If anyone is interested please let me know. Current proposals are to either  link this with the general FF meet in July and/or something in London in early March, perhaps a lunch plus short stay in a family friendly hotel ( Holiday Inn Kensington currently under consideration). London hotels seem desperate to get people through their doors at the minute that they are prepared to negotiate hard on rates etc and desperate to please. Let me know if anyone is interested, has any suggestions, etc. A few of us live some way away hence the thought of a hotel base. The one I have in mind is fairly quiet and can offer us the space we need.

Isn't January an awful month! Anyone else feeling this way? I might go out for some power walking to get the adrenalin and happy hormones going. I'm  looking at ways to cut our household budget back to the bone and also wondering when I need to make the decision to give up on the job front for the rest of 2009 and take DD out of (expensive) childcare and keep her at home. There are so many free playgroups and story telling events around almost every morning would be occupied and this would save us £1000 pcm. However no doubt the minute I do the dream job will arrive. The problem is as as ever believing that good things may in fact happen, and that circumstances do sometimes change for the better, however when you lose your job , losing perspective is not far behind. 

Also several friends have just announced they are expecting again and some of my old mums group are now talking about setting up a breakway 'second time' mums sub group.( .  I'm so pleased for them but realise that on top of everything else, I am probably not as resigned as I thought I was to having no more tx and no more babies.  .  

As I said, a hard month ;Heres to a more positive Feb for everyone! 


love


roze  x


----------



## radnorgirl

WWAV - thinking of you honey xxx

Roze - I would love to come to the meet up but I think I may be a bit busy in early March!!!

Helen
x


----------



## Izzy x

Hello Everyone,

Popped on to say thank you so much to everyone who replied about the incident with my SiL at Christmas. We have not heard anything from her at all since then....i know it is upsetting Dh but i feel our hands are tied. If she remains cross with us, she will miss out on seeing the new little baby and that is so sad (for everyone). Just hope it resolves itself somehow but i guess i will never trust her again because she could really hurt our little family in the future. Thank you for all of you kind words. You are so insightful. 

Nats: Well done for making your next plan. Feb isn't far away now! Hope that your preparation goes well as it can't be long now until you start. 

Skirtgirl: How are you. Hope that you are OK. What has happened to you is so hard. I know i was in a very low place after my miscarriage last summer. We are all thinking of you. xxxxxxxxxx

Aldo, Hello! Congrats on your little daughter! i also went back over quite quickly after my DS for my frosties.. One thing that ruth mentioned to me that i wish i'd known at the time....she said that you could still go on the waiting list despite the frosties.....then you have back up if things don't quite work out. Sorry if you know this already. It was something that i wished i had known at the time (although i think that the Ceram waiting lists are shorter at the moment). Good luck anyway, hope that you won't ned any back up of course! 


Crusoe, i read your post about the bath on another thread and i feel like i can almost hold you excitement in my hands! It is so wonderful and he is such a lucky little boy. hope that things move along nice and quickly for you xxxxxxx

Roze, thank you for posting about a meet up. I would be very keen to join you. I think it is so important for my little boy to know other children who have a similar fantastic story. I would be keen on the London idea.  I live within a short train ride from London. This would be such a positive thing to do. I've already met up with several abroadies and its always been fab. 

mini0-me; Talking of abradies that i've met up with.......hope everything is going really well for your induction today. Can't wait to hear your news. What a very precious little bundle! 


Helen; Busy in early March....what about that French Minister!!!! Can't imagine how you must be feeling but i hope that things are going well for you this week. 

Bluebell: how are you my lovely. Hope that you are surviving the arctic winter up there in the snowy north. (i have a very romatic picture of Scotland.!). Hope that you are OK though and managing to find some peace and make some decisions.

Sasha: Hope that you had a lovely Christmas with Bella. Was she opening the pressies on her own!? It so cute isn't it. hope you are OK and thats once again for the support with my SiL problem.

Best wishes everyone else
Izzy


----------



## RSMUM

Mini- me - best of luck     thinking of you!


----------



## bluebell

Just wanted to pop in to say that WWAV is fine and I am sure she wouldn't mind me saying that she hasn't had her tx yet, but it is very soon.  

Also, just to send you all my love.  

Izzy, I am so happy to see your ticker racing along and so sorry that dodgy imlaws are causing you stress.    I have met you and know what a lovely sweet soul you are.  They should be grateful to have you in their family and treat you and your lovely DH with the respect you deserve.

Mrs Bunny - wow a granny ! Wooooooooo hooo, how moving and amazing a year 2009 will be for you !

Love to everyone else, RSMUM, Roze, Crusoe, Dawn etc etc.

......and last but definitely not least, to the lovely Sasha.  I loved meeting up with you and little Bella again at Xmas.  Big smackeroonies to you both and I will call soon.

Sorry I haven't been around much.  I have felt the need to have a break from the tx rollercoaster now that I am having to come to terms with not being on it.

Loads of love,

Blooooobs xxxxx


----------



## RSMUM

I've posted on another thread but maybe someone on her might be able to suggest something..it may be nothing but it's worrying me...

I'm taking Lily to her 8 month check tomorrow and there is one thing that's really starting to worry me, I wonder if any of you have any ideas about this..she has a wierd habit of sticking her left thumb into her chest and getting VERY frustrated by it - at first I thought it was her trying to get her thumb ( still think it might be that ) and the car seat/high chair straps are in the way, so in her high chair I started just strapping her around the waist - she still does it, so I took her clothes off her to see - she still does it. It's as if she's concentrating really hard to get her left thumb but there's a major co-ordination issue going on. I'm starting to think it's causing a problem at night cos she even does it lying down and she just can't seem to realise that sticking her thumb straight out and into her chest will NOT work - poor thing, she goes  with frustration and it breaks my heart. It's most odd as she has absolutely no problem with using her left hand, passing objects, grasping etc. and can put her thumb in quite easily if she's not paying attention to doing it and it all seems perfectly ok until she starts doing this..anyone come across anything like this? I'm beginning to wonder if it's some sort of "tic" she is developing ..

...anyway, thought I'd ask you lot ..I'll let you know what the HV says tomorrow.

Trying to grab some zzzzz now as she seems to think night-time is for playing and chatting and most of the day is for sleeping like a log ( or,as R once said " like a very nig stick"  ) honestly it's like she'd taken a Valium - nothing will wake her! Cheeky madam! 

loadsa hugs to you all

XX


----------



## Sasha B

Deb,

Just saw your post and although I haven't heard of anything like this before I just wanted to give you a big  . It is worrying when they do out of the ordinary things that don't fall into the developmental norms, but then a lot of babies seem to do odd things which turn out to be a passing stage of their development and totally harmless. It is a good sign that all Lily's fine motor skills are on track developmentally. I am no expert but i would have thought if it was a tic, it would affect her holding, passing, grasping etc. as well. I know its easy to say don't worry because you do want re-assurance. If you are concerned about this I would also bring it to your G.P.'s attention. it never hurts to get a second opinion. I hope tomorrow goes well and that you have an understanding and proactive HV.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## three_stars

Deb,  Sorry have not had chance to reply to your email yet.  Our lives sound so similiar really.  I have nursery for the twins now on M W F  tahnks god  and DD on Wed so she really enjoys that time alone with me and goes to dance in the afternoon.  People seem amazed that they are not sleeping at night yet... hA AH  and Big HA!  They not only each wake up 1,2, or several times.. so does DD!!!  AAAARGHH!  ALSo now they BOTH take a bottle at night and James would take two if I let him!!  Then it means of course soggy nappies to change and sometimes clothes and bedsheets... well you seem to have the same thing.

about the "tic".. interested to see what HV says but I would not worry too much if all seems fine otherwise.  SHe does not seem to have any pain in the chest does she?  my DD scratches at her chest a lot when naked and I can't figure why. 

Have you tried giving her a dummy to see if she would take it and be less frustrated?

Have to go.  
Take care
b


----------



## three_stars

Debs,  How did Lily's check up go?  Hope your worries have been erased.

Love,

b


----------



## bluebell

Just a quickie from me re the 'tic'.  
My DD went through a phase when she was perhaps 6 months old, when if she was taking expressed milk or formula from a bottle, she would bash the bottle with her hands, which made it impossible for her to drink, so she would then get all upset and it would all go horribly wrong.  I worried that there was something really odd about her doing this / wrong with her.  It was a vicious cycle - the more she bashed, the more she got upset, the more she bashed.  It stopped once she was a bit older.  I presume that they do things with their hands before they have reached an age where they have any idea of the reasons for / implications of what they are doing.  I presume they develop these things as a habit for no real reason and then can't deal with realising that the habit isn't the best thing to do !  
I hope that by the time you read this, she will have stopped doing it, or you will have some answers that have eased your worrying.
Babies eh ?  Who'd 'ave 'em !!! 
Blooobs xxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Ah thanks for the replies - it really helps to know there are people out there who " get " it and don't think I'm nuts. 

Well, of course she didn't do it at the HV appointment but I am getting a home visit in a few weeks ( to see if she is still doing it, discuss DD1 ( who is now being an absolute angel I am surprised to say!  , and the implications of my going for my FET   - whenever I get that sorted... )..the HV said she has absolutely no problems with co-ordination, may possibly be left-handed but it's too early to tell..and she couldn't see any physical reason why she's doing it - it's so awful to see - she pulls at her clothes and really strains to do whatever it is she is trying to do - interesting that your DD does something similar Bonnie - have you got to the bottom of it? I don't think she is in pain - but it sounds very similar to the " bottle bashing " Ria did..she has got crossed wires somehow. Worryingly she has not started doing it with both hands but still mainly the left - I am completely puzzled!

Bonnie - you life sounds absolutely manic!   You must be pretty tired but I bet you have a lot of giggles, tickles and laughs too.

oops better go - madam is calling - am going to try to post a photo later but am a bit  with the computers so...

loadsa love to you all

XXX


----------



## RSMUM




----------



## nats210

Ah Deb she is gorgeous. Not long until I go back for FET, now feel i am ready to try again.
xx


----------



## Izzy x

Debs,
What a gorgeous photograph. I love seeing abroadie babies because they are so extra, extra special! 

Izzy x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Debs what a lovely photo!!! aren't they little monkeys though they never do what you want when you want, it is enough to make you think you are going mad!!!

Loads to catch up on but an update on me, I had an ERPC yesterday and finally feel that ycle is over , looking to do fet in 6 weeks!! so now feel positive.

Off to read all your news now.


----------



## nats210

Skirtgirl glad you are ready to move on, best of luck.
x


----------



## nats210

Ladies quick question how much water should I be trying to drink & did you avoid chocolate?

Have a few xmas choccies left over & keep picking at them! 
x


----------



## roze

Dear all,

Skirtgirl,glad that you are making plans for the future- best of luck.

Re the proposed Oldies meet in Feb- as the preference is now for the Midlands, I don't know the Midlands nor transport links/suitable pubs unfortunately, so think someone else who does should take over the arrangments!  However if any London/Home Counties based girlies fancies a quick meet at any time let me know!

All the best,


roze x


----------



## safarigirl

roze i am up for a london meet - i have wed and fridays off work if you would like to met mid week?
let me know and perhaps we can arrange something ....


----------



## safarigirl

I though i would post the following (sad) news on this thread - i have heard from Womb with a view, that her recent cycle, although very positive at first -, has sadly not progressed, and her beta levels have dropped  .... WWAV is as you can imagine very sad, and wanted to post her news on the boards, as quite a few of you know that she was cycling and i know you will have been thinking of her

I said i would do it for her, as we all know how hard it is to come to these boards at certain times ....

i know you will all keep her in your thoughts, and send her kind and loving messages

WWAV i have sent you an email ....


----------



## bluebell

Oh no Oh no Oh no .  I knew about WWAV's BFP, but not this.  Bug*er bug*er is all I can say.  WWAV was so brave, and so amazingly strong through all sorts of things going on in her life at the moment, and I feel for her so much.  WWAV has been such an inspiration for us through the years, and I so wanted her to have a sibling for her sweet little DD.  WWAV, if you are reading this. I am sending you the biggest ever hugs I can muster up.                 So sorry lovely ones.  Big kisses to your DD and DP and hope they are helping you through this.  I am sure they are.
I will be emailing you too, and please phone any time for a chat if it helps.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Sasha B

So sorry WAVV, my love. It is just so sad that you have to go through this painful loss. When you're feeling up to it or if you feel you need to chat to someone who is a few months down the road, please PM me. It won't take the pain away but it does help to talk. Much love to you, your DP & DD.

Sasha xxx


----------



## roze

This is very sad news indeed. I am so sorry, WWAV, you are very much in my thoughts.  

roze  xxx


----------



## Rachel

Huge huge hugs WWAV    

Thinking of you

Love, Rachel xxxxx


----------



## Izzy x

WWAV, so sorry to read your sad news. Hope that you are doing OK and feel that you are in an OK place. 

I have been thinking of you. 

Best Wsihes to you
Izzy x


----------



## bluebell

Izzy,
I have been wondering how you are !  Lovely to see you posting and to see all is still OK.
Can't believe you are so far in your pregnancy already !  It seems like no time that we were texting each other from Prague and Athens !
Hope you are relaxing and enjoying now !
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## three_stars

My thougths as well Izzy!  Time seems to fly now you are PG doesn't it?

WWAV- I was thinking of you today and hope you are feeling better.

Hello to Roze, Debs, Nats, Sasha, Safarigirl, Bluebell, Rachel and the rest who I have missed to mention today.. Love, b


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Everyone,

Bluebell, thanks for the text message and the encouragement on the thread. Things certainly have gone much quicker in the last few weeks which is an excellent thing. Hope that you are doing OK and let us know how you are getting on. It must be Ria's 3rd birthday soon. Hope you all have a lovely day. 

B123, it never ceases to amaze me that you manage to find the time to post. You must be fantastic at multi tasking! I know your not feeling particularly well at the moment so i hope that things are improving. (i hopped onto the abroadies thread) ! 

Crusoe, Hope that time is passing really quickly until Thursday. I was trying to imagine how excited you must feel and, as i imagined it, i had a little glimmer of what you must be feeling. Are you allowed to tell us how old your little boy is? I wondered if he was a similar age to mine (2 years 4 months). 

Roze, i am still up for a meet and would be happy with the Midlands or London. They are both easy for me to get to and, like you, i believe it would be excellent to keep in touch with people that have been through the same process. It would be great if my little boy could have contact with people as he grows up. I think it is a nice idea to just meet as adults to start with, once you have been on this journey I believe it is so life altering that it would be great to support each other into the future. 

Hello everyone else,  is anyone due for treatment soon? 

As for me, we are off to Spain for a quick break at the end of this week. Please let the airports remain open! We are actually going back to Marbella (where Ceram is) because we liked it there and it should be sunny! Tomorrow we have our 20 week scan so i've got my fingers crossed. 

Take care everyone
Izzy x


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, thanks for your lovely texts, glad your scan went well and have a fabby time in Spain.  Will you be seeing the lovely Ruth ?  If so, say hi from me.
Blooobs xxx


----------



## earthe kitt

Girls

I think about you so often but these days what with working full time plus, the twins and Sam I barely have time to read and rum let alone post

WWAV - thinking of you with love - so much has changed since we last met

Bonnie - mega thoughts to you - thanks for your personals

Safari Girl - we had 6 weeks in S Africa over Dec/Jan - Absolutely Fabulous - saving up already for our next trip

Alma May - much love and many thoughts to you

Izzy - thinking of you

Roze - ditto

Sacha - would love to meet for lunch - I have a couple of days off later this week - otherwise you could come over - if you've lost my number just ring work and ask for me

Giggles - thoughts coming your way

Crusoe - Hope all is well - good luck

Love to all I've missed - one day I'll be back here more frequently - don't mean to wish lives away but can't wait until Jan 2011 when they start school

Me -  not had a period for 6 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Tempted to do a  pee stick (wouldn't be the first immaculate conception would it?) but the hot flushes, bad temper and urinary incontinence tell me otherwise

Love, happy memories and positive thoughts to all

Jo XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## crusoe

Hey RSMum - just seen your post ...
and wanted to wish you lots and lots of luck for your forthcoming FET ... fingers crossed               

love to all on this thread
Crusoe
xxxx


----------



## nats210

Hi Ladies
Just thought i would let you know how I got on in Spain for my FET.  I was delighted we had 6 frosties waiting, out of the first 3, the first 2 thawed intact, 1 lost a cell which was removed and by the time it came to ET it had gone back to 8 cells so we had 3 x 8 cell put back. Now on the dreaded 2ww well  not quite 2 weeks as I am due to test on the 28 feb but will probably delay until the 2/3 as we are away that weekend and I prefer not knowing until i have to.
Fingers crossed, so far the positive mind is working but i know Mrs negative is lurking around the corner uhh.

nats
xx


----------



## roze

You never know, Nats!  I hope the rest of the 2ww goes well for you however I know the torture we ladies go through during this time.

Earthe Kitt, its good to hear from you. I think about you and the twins often. Your posts always made me laugh and gave me such hope.

WWAV, I can imagine how you must be feeling and wish I could make it all better for you. Its the cruellest thing. 

Izzy, I assume you are now back from Spain?  How was the scan?

Good luck to everyone trying again, 

roze x


----------



## safarigirl

earthekitt you're back!!!

love your "read and rum"

me periods are everywhere at the moment too!  we can perhaps have a hot flush thread!

i.m off to south africa in april, cant wait .... glad you enjoyed your time ....

hello to everyone .....


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Everyone!

Nats, thats great news about how well the frosties thawed. Did you go back to Ceram?  They seem to be having great success with FET at the moment. Hope that you are OK on the 2ww. Those embies sound perfect. Good luck and i hope the next couple of weeks passes quickly. I was in Marbella from 12th - 18th Feb...where you there at the same time? We were just there for a holiday this time but we noticed all the posters advertising Ceram.......it always gives me a lovely warm feeling to see them. We had some lovely little walks along the promanade and popped over to Estaphona to use the kiddies play area.

Rsmum, I think its great that you are going back for your precious little frosties. They must be an excellent batch to give you your beautiful little baby. Its nice to think that they willed be used and, if they are meant to be, they have a chance. Lots and lots of luck to you.  

Safari, You must be excited about going to South Africa. We are thinking of visiting there in the next year or two....i think that the time zone doesn't change much which must be great when you are travelling with a child. I might be wrong but i think that i remember that you have family in South Africa. it will be great to take your little girl to see them. 

Roze, thanks for asking about the scan. It was fine. Everything measured just right and the baby moved well so they could get the scanner in the right place. We did not find out the sex......was tempted though! 

Crusoe, i still read through the abroadies thread and i've been so moved by your wonderful posts about meeting your son. I think that it is a wonderful story to tell and i think its great that you are sharing it with us. I've had the chocolate button paddy too! My little boy would definitely rather have a chocolate button in his hand than £100 000 000 !! Nothing is going to take it away from him! 


Earthkitt, Have you kept away from the pee sticks!? I bet your twins are soooo busy. I can't really imagine having two toddlers!  It must be wonderful though. My friend has twins and their eyes seem to follow her around the room wherever she is. Seems funny seeing two pairs of eyes studying her every move....especially because my friend was little miss party animal a couple of years ago! 

Bluebell, i did not see Ruth this time but i was reminded of Ceram all the time!  I know Ruth is always busy so i did not want to interupt her but, now i think i should have done, she has changed my life! 

Take Care everyone else

Best wishes
Izzy


----------



## RSMUM

Just wanted to pop in and thank you all for your fantastic support..I am so glad you are all right behind me. I'm a bit scared as I would rather have waited a few months but DH is worried about our ages. Of course, I'm really scared too, but more so of MC and, having had two good pregnancies - what if, even if we avoid an MC, things are not good...then the old gremlins kick in saying " don't count your chickens... " and so it goes on ...I know you lot will know exactly what I mean.           

R said today how much she would have liked to have been a twin ( apparently she's overheard me talking about the fact I had two blasts put back with her and had a really high count at BFP )   so she's decided that she should have had a sister the same age...hmmmm..she is nearly 8 now so things are harder to hide....not sure how I'm going to handle this next tx....

Will try to do personals tomorrrow when I'm more awake but was thinking of you all and so came on to thank you all - I think most of my family and friends think I'm mad/selfish/stupid etc.. and my poor mum, although she hasn't said a word - bless her - is scared to death - she's worried about the effects of all the meds ( I wish there was somewhere mums and dads of people going through infertility could go to get support themselves, it must be so hard, trying to say the right thing all the time, trying to be supportive whilst longing for a grandchild but worrying about the stress and strain on your own child and their relationships etc. ) 


anyway, sending you all loads of love and     and    to those who need it,,and thanks so much girls, it's brill to know you are there for me..

D XXXXX


----------



## nats210

Hi Izzy
we did go back to Ceram so fingers crossed their success continues. I arrived in Marbella on the 16th for 2 nights staying at El Fuerte. Wasn't the weather fab, trying to hide the bit of colour I picked up. Would highly recommend the Orange Tree restaurant especially if anyone is on their own.

Nats
xx


----------



## earthe kitt

Hello again - hoping all are well

Thank you for your warm welcomes back - hoping I can be a bit more regular 

Crusoe - you are so seriously on my mind at the moment - I will be thinking of you lots over the next few days and hoping everything goes well for you and your family - good luck for your new journey. 

WWAV - thinking of you too - 

RSMUM - well done on going back fro frosties - I hope things work out for you - have you factored in the cost of a bigger car!

Nats - 3 transferred - sounds like you'll be needing a bigger car too

As it happens, my brother in law Ricky is a second hand car dealer in South London.... - sounds like a storyline for a soap but it's true   

Izzy - well done on not peeking at the sex - I admire your self control.
With Sam I asked at the 12 week  Nuchal scan and Mr B told me then it was a boy - I suppose it's easier to spot a boy than a girl!The twins I  had a private scan at 23 weeks as the hospital I went to wouldn't tell!
S Africa is 2 hours ahead of UK - the flight is a killer tho but well worth it when you get there, it's such a beautiful country, that was a real unexpected bonus
My 2 girls don't watch my every move they watch their  dads - and call him mummy and me daddy - it must be because I go to work full time while daddy is full time stay at home. They  must have learned about sexual division of labour in  "womb school" (where babies go while they're in the womb and learn how to be babies) and were told that the one who goes out in the morning and comes back at 6.30 is daddy, the one who is running ragged all day and tearing their hair out is mummy!

Skirtgirl - sorry about your recent bad news - I hope things work out better when you're ready to start again

As for me - I went to see a friend today, I didn't really have much to say to her as she had a book on the side "is it me or is it hot in here" - it's me! I must ask big sis if she has started. 
Apparently I can't have HRT because of previous pulmonary embolisms - at least that's one dilemma I don't have to deal with

Sorry for posting on the" hoping for another miracle thread" - I will go to the Abroadies thread in future. The only other miracle I want involves 40+ balls and a ticket -I  must buy a ticket one of these days. 

See y'all soon

Jo XXX


----------



## Jaydi

Radnorgirl's twin boys are here!! 

Pete and Helen are thrilled to announce the birth of their boys this morning -

22nd February 2009

Jasper Harry at 7.26am weighing 6lb1oz

closely followed by

Wilfred Hugh at 7.27am weighing 5lb3oz

Mum and the boys are all doing well.

  

Huge congratulations to you Pete, Helen and little Monty. Wonderful news 

Welcome little Jasper and Wilfred 

Jaydi xxx​


----------



## RSMUM

Wonderful wonderful news!!!! Well done Helen, your boys are finally here!!!


----------



## Izzy x

Many, Many Congratulations!!!!
So glad to hear that your baby boys have arrived safe and sound. Hope that everyone is doing OK. You must all be over the moon!! 

Just looks at the weights too....Wow!!! You must have known you were carrying all that around!!!! 

       

Lots of love 
Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Sasha B

Congratusltions Pete, Helen & Monty on the new new additions to the family.

Welcome to the world Jasper and Wlifred!

    
   

love,

Sasha xxx​


----------



## Skirtgirl

Congratulations Helen!!!! welcome to the world of twins, it ia magical!!!!

nats, that all sounds really positive! hope the 2ww doesn't drive you nuts.

Crusoe I am glad all is going well for you and your little boy, never understand the power of a chocolate button !!! great for children but also great for mums!!!!

Izzy, so nice to hear all is well with your little one. it is good not to know the sex , it  makes that moment of the birth so much more exciting(if that is possible!!)

RSMUM, I have missed when you are going back for FET is it soon??

I have a brain like jelly at the moment after spending 5 days with 5 kids under 6 and my sister who doesn't do discipline!! so i am sorry for everyone I have missed out.

We are planning to go for FET 6-10 april, I am quite excited now.  Would you fly back the same day as FET? we are planning to have FeT early afternoon and fly back at 8.45pm? good idea or mad?

Hugs to everyone


----------



## nats210

Congratulations Helen, Pete & Monty so pleased to hear of the safe arrival of your little boys.​  

Crusoe so wonderful to see your dreams come true I can't imagine how you will feel tomorrow night when your DS is tucked up in bed in his new home with Mummy & Daddy. Have a fantastic day the start of a brand new life together I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Skirtgirl I flew back the next day ET at 1pm flight 5pm next day. Spent the time lying on the bed or sat on a chair. I think the most important thing is to rest up.

Hello everyone hope you are doing well, hit the wall today as I had been feeling positive but not so sure tonight you know what it is like. I have hurt my back so walking like I have something in my pants not very attractive I can assure you probably this that is making me miserable hope it's better tomorrow.

Take care
nats
x


----------



## Izzy x

Skirtgirl. Thats great that you have a plan for your FET. I've had various advice from clinics about when to fly. This is what i have been told in the past. 
Care UK:    Take it easy after transfer but live life as normal really 
IM Spain:    Live life fully normally and fine to fly back same day
Ceram Spain:    Bed rest for 24 hours and then take it very easy for next 3 days
Serum Greece:    Live life normally and fly back same day. 
I would think that you can fly the same day. I've always thought that, if it made that much difference, the clinics would have a definitive guidelines.


Nats: I think you are in the hardest bit of the 2ww now. All the doubts start setting in don't they. hope the time passes quickly for you. 

Jaydi: nice to hear from you. hope that the pregnancy is going OK. 


Sasha: Hope that you and Bella are doing well. 

Best wishes
Izzy x


----------



## RSMUM

Interesting list Izzy, can I add to it?

UK clinics - bed rest for 1-3hrs, then life as normal
US clinic - bed rest for 2 days, no lifting of anything over 20lbs - no flying in first 12 weeks 
Czech  R - bed rest for 30 mins ( I think ), have glass of wine with a lovely lunch and go for a nice, relaxing walk somewhere, be kind to yourself  but life as normal - fly whenever

Wouldn't it be great if there had been some studies on this?!


----------



## bluebell

Here are 2 more for the list:

My UK clinic - rest for 10 mins then life as normal
IVIB - same as above, and they added that is it worse for your body to be immobile - moving around helps by getting circulation going etc and keeping you healthy !
Natural pregnancies - how many people lie around for days after their sh*g   ??!!!

To be honest there is so little consistency in advice that I think the best thing to do is to do what feels right for you.  Personally I like lots of gently active distraction, so nice walks and wallowy cafes have always helped make me feel good. My consultant in UK says there is some small evidence to suggest that stress can lead to failed implantation, but once implantation occurs, then embies are incredibly tough, so whatever makes you feel right is the answer !!

Bloobs xxxx


----------



## bluebell

.....and CONGRATULATIONS to Helen.  Fantastic news !!
Hope Monty loves his little brothers !!
Bluebell xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Thanks girls!! I like the Czech idea!!!  I think unlless the clinic say definately not to I am coming home the same day. I will spend as much time sitting as possible and will have dh for lifting the bags etc. He will then drive me home from the airport then up to my mums for 3 days. I cant spend 2 weeks in bed as I have the children to look after but will take it easy. I think I will be much more stressed sitting in a hotel room for another 24hrs than coming home.


----------



## RSMUM

oh yeah - and Bloobs, Zita West says the opposite about circulating blood! ha! I also think things that get your endorphins up help too - funny films, nice gentle walks, lovely cream cakes etc....

Skirtgirl - funny, for me, it was the opposite, I wallowed in my time in hotel room and watched dvd's and ate pizza in bed!!!    But I won't be able to do that this time eh?!   I'll probably be on my own with no-one to lug bags and baby! when did you say you were going?


----------



## Skirtgirl

We are hoping to go 9th/10th April, just before Easter.  Maybe if we had a luxary hotel and I didn't have the children at home I would be better!! I love my 2ww (well the begining) as it is an excuse to do nothing! I never leave the children and am a bit clingy!!!

Do you know what I do truely believe as long as you are not totally stupid(ie no bungy jumping) what you do is largely irrelevant if that embie is going to hang on it will no matter what and if not then there is not much you can do. I think a lot of what we do and dont do is more for our owm peace of mind rather than anything else. I guess it is not something they can study as there are far too many variables!!!


----------



## RSMUM

Yes, I guess you are right - I remember one consultant telling me I could have played volleyball and it wouldn't have made a difference!


----------



## roze

I found that both IVIB and ISIDA, in comparison with the Lister,  were very strict about lying very still for an hour after the transfer- even to the extent of offering a bedpan for peeing whilst lying down. I believe that this is so the fluid which contains the embies settles. IVIB would not even let me move my head.

After the first hour anything goes, I think.  When I had ETs in Spain I nearly almost flew back the same evening. In Kiev the first time I spent the afternoon walking around Kiev shopping however had to climb 3 steep flights of stairs back to the flat with several blankets I had bought. Got up at 5am the next morning to fly home- carrying my own backpack around.  Needless to say the bouncing baby girl fast asleep next door is evidence of the fact that this did no harm!

Personally I would not overdo it but would not lie around, especially when flying is involved, due to the general  DVT risk from immobility ; gentle exercise is good all round, I think, bar bungee jumping...


roze


----------



## bluebell

This is an interesting discussion !  Funny you say that Roze about IVIB, as they only got me to lie for 15 mins !
Bloobs xxxxx


----------



## earthe kitt

I spent 2 days post transfer in Poland lounging around my hotel room (DH and DS were in the UK)

I read quite a lot - humeous books - I strongly believe in laughing

I read some research back in 2006 that women who were entertained by a clown after ET (       ) had a higher success rate than those who weren't

Therefore I firmly believe in having a gentle  laugh - doesn't that release endorphins?

I think Safarigirl followed this advice - she watched Frasier DVD's

Good luck to 2ww'ers

Jo XXXXXXX


----------



## nats210

Hi Ladies
just letting you know I got a BFN. Really disppointed as I was feeling rather positive this time, embies thawed well had 3 put back, have been feeling a bit off colour for the last few days, heavy & veiny boobs  and tired. I know you shouldn't read anything into symptoms I'm annoyed I let myself. Now just need to find out when i can go again for the other embies. Tested yesterday and had the tears, today was just double confirmation and feel better now just want to get going again.
Take care all
nats
x


----------



## Izzy x

Oh Nats, So sorry about your Bfn. They certainly don't get any easier do they. Hope that you have done OK today although it is very hard. 

Give yourself some treats and things. 

Lots of hugs to you
Izzy xxxxx


----------



## radnorgirl

http://www.********.com/album.php?aid=103237&id=1191844253&ref=nf

Some pictures of Wilf and Jasper

I hope everyone is well and I am looking forward to catching up on your news soon

Helen
x

/links


----------



## Sasha B

Nats     . So very sorry that you got a BFN. Hugs to at this sad time.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## radnorgirl

Nats

Just had an opportunity to try and catch up. I am really sorry about your bfn and I hope that you did not find my post insensitive. I know how difficult it is. Have Pm'd you.

Sending you huge hugs

love
Helen
x


----------



## nats210

Helen of course I didn't it is wonderful to hear news from other FF's and so pleased to see your gorgeous little boys. I know having DS makes it so much easier for me and I just love little ones. Going to start running a playgroup on Thursdays so must be mad, Monday we had 47 children also I am thinking of training to be an Antenatal instructor through the NCT. I just loved the whole being PG and being around the babies if I didn't have to do so much studying would look at midwifery or nursing.
thank you for your PM very useful making an appointment at GP to see what tests I can get.
xx


----------



## RSMUM

Just popping on for a bit of advice girls - now have a date for TX and the reality is starting to hit me - how on earth is it going to be getting down to London, across to Stanstead, on plane, to clinic, during tx, back to London and across it, then back to Wales - all with a lovely 10 month old who will not sit still and insits on " walking " everywhere with me crouched over holding her hands!!!! 

I travelled a lot with R when she was this age - but not for TX and that's the big difference!! 

Can you tell I'm panicking a bit?!!    I have to do Gestone too so will have to find a private medical centre in Lonodn ( or a friendly nurse!   ) who can do my jab on a Sunday!!

DH doesn't think I should get a seat for L on the plane but I remember how cramped those Ryanair flights are ( PLUS I'm scared of flying! ) - at least i could put my bag down there during the flight ( so can get at tpoys etc. mopre easily ) or maybe even get her sitting there playing with tray for a mili-second or two!! ha!! 

Any advice greatly accepted!!  

Helen - LOVELY to hear of your boys!! Think of you often.

Nats - I owe you an IM

Roze - you too I'm afraid - how are you doing?

Never get any time to post these days as L on the move - at the moment I am just letting her wreck the house....ooh just caught her picking mud off the wheels of her stroller and tasting it! gotta go.......

    

xxx


----------



## roze

Hi, Deb,

We are planning a short holiday in France at Easter with the inlaws so was wondering also last night on how to cope on a flight/airport/train with an active 2 year old, but at least I have DH with me. Why not ask at the clinic( I forget where you are going) to see if they can look after Lily when you are having tx?  Or they might have a local babysitter service for a few hours?  I would have thought that the staff could manage it and would probably be more than delighted to meet one of 'their babies' so to speak.  All I can also say is pack as little as possible and perhaps post some things ahead, and post them back again.

Where are you staying in London, and when? It would be great to meet you and also to assist with Lily if necessary. 

I must though put together a self help guide on injecting Gestone! it really is easy when you get the hang of it especially in front of a mirror. The trick I found is to use the palm of your hand to press the syringe in- slowly whilst holding the tip of the syringe(not the needle) with your first and second fingers. 

Hope to hear from you soon,


roze x


----------



## safarigirl

rsmum - you will need to build in lots of time!!!!!  I think there is a train out to stansted, which is quite "easy" with babies!  (meaning you can get them out of the pram and let them move around.  Airports are easy, just find one of the places where there are seats and some carpets and let dd crawl/walk around (oh how i remember those bending over holdidng hands days!!!).  The flight is probably the hardest at that age - i remember our dd flying back from denmark, at one point she was running madly down the aisle, an old stained t shirt on, a dummy in her mouth (I couldnt even pretend to care or notice at that point)  - she looked like some wayward child, and i remember ducking down in the seat and pretending i hadnt noticed!!!!  The flying was difficult, but the rest of the travelling was really easy, as dd was alert, interested, and enjoyed being out and about.  You just need more time (e..g. nappy change, food, you know the drill!).  YOur dd could sleep on the flight which when that happens is a piece of cake!
For a recent flight with dd i took some old reading books i had picked up cheaply that could be lost, stickers, box of crayons, paper, and i packed a bag full of things like little boxes or raisons, cut bits of apple,  juices, all sort of snacks and bribery which i gave to her whenever she looked rebellious!!!  You just need a trick box with little things to keep showing them or eat .....
I agree with roze just pack light, one step at a time, and it will be easier than you think, or if not you will have us laughing about it when you get back!!
good luck .... let me know when you are coming through london and maybe i can help you with the london leg, or travel with you to the airport?
Will your dh be flying with you?


----------



## roze

Good point about the time thing. We are always being too ambitious .

I was also going to ask about regulations on what and can't these days be carried through into the departure lounge and on to the aircraft, especially as regards kids food and drinks. We will want to take some of our toddler juice and Aptamil in hand luggage but I recall someone saying that they had to drink some of their babies milk to prove it wouldn't explode. My DH had to take off his shoes and socks at Gatwick recently (aargh those toenails) and walk through barefoot- if this is the same for kids probably we need socks not tights as otherwise that will be fun...

Is there a dedicated kiddy area at Stansted now? - I think there is some sort of internal adventure playground at Gatwick so thought this might be catching on.


----------



## RSMUM

Just starting to realise what a mad thing I am attempting! Off for my scan today so we'll see how the lining is doing and it'll be the first try to see how Lily takes to being strapped into her pushchair while I get scanned! She is into EVERYTHING now and loves to just muck about on the floor finding unmentionable things and waving them at me with a huge grin on her face!

ALmamay - I've sent you an IM and will try to ring over the weekend 

Roze - how are you doing hun -sent you a very belated IM - 

It's looking like I may have to attempt to do a Gestone injection or two on my own - my GP 's surgery here have messed up my appointment when I come back from Czech R and the clinic I usually use in Victoria station on my way to the airport have stopped allowing people to use brought-in meds. I'm going to try to get in with my local GP in Streatham but the timing is going to be tight - I am so in awe of you ladies who have done these jabs yourselves - the needles look HUGE to me!  

I'm sure there's a market for a "one-stop abroadies  medical/advice/sanity drop-in centre in the centre of London which would be liability-free but welcoming for meds-crazed and nervy travellers - what do you think ladies?!!!     

Also, I am thinking of Bonnie's story of lying down somewhere after TX - I think that's what I'll have to do- lie on the floor rather than a the usual bed -thing - as Lily will happily crawl around and over me for a while    - as long as there are bits of fluff, plastic bags, bits of grit etc.. for her to reach for - haha!! 

Yes, SFG - I will get the train to Stansted - I'll be on my own - but I travlled back and forth from the States in R's first year so I remmerb well those mad moments - the story of your DD had me giggling and reminding so many similar things - as I am scared of flying and I think quite a few other travellers are - in a wierd way, soemtimes I thinka crazy toddler/baby like that is a welcome distration to others - unless you happen to be in business class that is!!! 

Bonnie - hope your lot are at leat not too bad at the moment - it must be so draining as they must just pass everyone between them - had to laugh at some of your stories too - the things we do!! I am going to take some valium with me - I did it the last two times and I certianly didn't feel any of the cramping of the uterus that I'd had on previous ( failed ) cycles )  Yes, I'm going back to see the lovely Stepan - although sadly I'll miss him - I am going to post ont eh htread there to see if anyone is going to be in the clinic at the same time - it would be nice to have someone to chat to i n teh waiting room at least - as it's a Saturday I expect it will be quiter than normal though so not sure how much help I can get from teh staff

ah well, one step at a time - better go - DD sounds VERY quiet - have a feeling she is dismantling the Hoover...trying to tire her out for the 2 hr drive this morning ( NOT in the manual car!! that would be FAR too much stress!! ) ..
HUgs to you all and may we all meet up for some lovely abroadie picnic somewhere nice

LOL

D X

Anyway, let's see how I get on today - my lining might be rubbish....


----------



## RSMUM

Just got back from the clinic - a 4hr round drive! - DD was brilliant though and slept all the way there and back and it was SO lovely to be able to show her to the nurses and the fabby Dr. P who has helped me soo much over the years! Lining was 5.5mm ( at day 11 ) and I have a small cyst so have to go back Tuesday   ..good thing though is that I asked abouthe gestone injections adn he said it would be ok if I miss one of two as long as I supplement with the supps - so I am a little more realxed about not being able to get them done every day now..phew!!

better go - but just wanted to share my good news as it's so nice to be able to connect a visit to the clinic with a lovely, happy event instead of a just the fear of scans etc..


----------



## Martha Moo

RSMUM

good to hear your progress honey

Sorry to hear about the cyst though

sending lots of         for your scan on tuesday

Em


----------



## Izzy x

Rsmum:
Blimey, you've had to do so much planning! The trouble is.....Lilly doesn't know that!!  Sounds like you've got a plan for every eventuality and i should think that being crawled over by a little child  might be an excellent distraction from the procedure! 
I think that it is great that you are going out there and i can fully understand why you are doing it. I wanted to wish you lots of luck.

Your lining seems to be measuring well too. How many frosties have you got? 

Hope that hings go OK again on Tuesday. I bet it was lovely for the clinic staff to see the end resuts of their work (and it will be lovely for Reprofit too). 

Good luck over the next few days
Izzy x


----------



## bluebell

Just had a speedy skim.
Wow RSMUM, you are a star !  You are so strong !    Ditto what others have said about flying.  DD has always loved it, from when we took her to German Alps when she was only 4 months old, to last week when I flew down to my parents.  She has flown about a dozen times now and loves it !!  She now shoult out as we are taking off (really loud !!) "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Blast off !".  There is also never any need for me to take boks etc for her (tho' I do just in case !) as she is always so excited by all the attention she gets anyway.  Last week I bought her a cat mask from Accessorize in Edinb Airport and she ran around snarling at business men with brief cases !
Roze's tip about take as little ap possible is the key - even down to not carrying coats in the airport, as you need every free hand you can get !

Izzy, tell us more about how your pregnancy is going !  Can't believe how far you are now !!

Lots of love and all the best,
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## roze

Dear all,

This is also a bit of a skim so apologies if it seems a little bit 'drive by'. I do keep up with everyones news so I am paying attention, honestly!

Deb, sorry we didnt get to speak- I think you will now be in London when I am not - Hopefully we will meet at some point!

Bonnie, I hope you are all feeling better.  Kaja sends her love- remember her?!

Bloobs, I have sent you a PM. Hope to speak soon.

I have some news myself,  which is why I have been a little self absorbed.  

We are trying again at ISIDA with a fresh cycle. All being well with the donor, I am flying off to Kiev this weekend for tx early next week. DH will be staying here with DD. Fortunately our childminder has agreed to take her for a few more hours, which helps out.
I didn't announce it on FF as to be honest , I was not sure whether we would actually proceed as too many things not going right for us in other aspects of our lives, and I was concerned about being unemployed and 48,   so its all been a little difficult in that respect. I was conscious also that deliberating about it publicly would come across as ungrateful and insensitive. 

The only reason we are trying again is because we have the same donor as before. Our original donor had previously refused to donate again so we thought that was that.  DH and I felt strongly that we did not feel like jumping into the unknown with a new donor. However we feel that somehow, we 'know' this particular donor having had DD.

I have come to realise that a number of parents feel that they could not go through it all again, and therefore put off trying so I have been trying to separate ' normal' fears from fears about my age, etc.  I talked at length with the senior consultant who oversaw my pregnancy and c section and he was quite positive about the prospect, already discussing how they would manage a second pregnancy if it happens. I've also considered getting extra help in in the first few months, ie a cleaner and a part time  mothers help, so have been costing all that out. I expected too much of myself last time which was not good. Suddenly it all seems to be workable.

We have therefore decided to go for it and let fate decide for us. If it works it will be back to one day at a time, if not, then thats it, we can move on in the knowledge we tried.  Having gone through the failed FET last summer I somehow feel less pressured this time with the fresh cycle and more able to accept a negative than previously. Like a number of people I feel/felt that FETS were never the same, and hence felt a little cheated. 
The stakes this time are not as high as they once were, which hopefully will make for less pressure on the nerves etc, all round.  

Being forcibly unemployed has been a real shock and very depressing however the upside is that I havent had to fit scans etc around work or get stressed by office politics so in retrospect it may be a very good time to try again! At least if it works I have a good excuse for being out of work. Fortunately my redundancy package should cover us for a year or so. But hey, early days, and not good to get too confident as I know my odds of success.

I havent started the progesterone yet so still on oestrogen (Progynova) only and feeling like it- bring on the Prontogest as I am really feeling crap and irritable with a dry mouth .I can't recall feeling this lousy before and cant believe I managed a full time job and long commute before whilst doing all of this!  Cant wait to start the injections later this week as progesterone always makes me feel more balanced, albeit tired. 

Anyway, thats my news, sorry for the self indulgence, will post more when I get back from Kiev next week! 

Take care of yourselves, 


roze  x


----------



## Izzy x

Roze: Wow! Thats fabulous news about being able to use the same donor. That is a great thing. I wanted to wish you every luck this weekend. I hope everything goes really smoothly for you. 

Rsmum: Hope the scan went OK yesterday. Guess you've packed a few more miles onto your car!  Hope you got the measurement that you needed. 

Bluebell: Lovely to hear from you. Hope your parents are OK and enjoyed all of their  Granddaughter cuddles. My little boy is still playing loads with the gift your little girl bought for him. He has called it Bobby and it gets walked several hundred times a day (unlike our real dog who just watches and wishes!). 

I went to see that Marley and Me film last night. It was really good but there was a heartbreaking bit in it about m/c. It was upsetting but the film is based on the true life of the central characters and so i think it was good that the filmakers did  not skip it. These things effect who we are and the decisions we make and yet they are so rarely discussed. 

My little boy has had chickenpox this week so we've not been able to get out much. I thought i would use the chance to potty train him but he had big spots all over his bits and bobs so i backed off! Luckily i had chickenpox when i was a child so it won't effect the baby. 

hope everyone else is Ok. Good luck to everyone having treatment over the next few weeks. 

Izzy x


----------



## roze

Izzy, thanks for your good wishes. I hope the chicken pox clears up but at least hes had it now and you won't have to cope with that and a newborn.

RSMUM, sorry to have missed you in London tomorrow but hope everything went well for you and the travelling has gone ok. I have to say I'd forgotten what a mammoth planning and logistics exercise it is even without a baby so I really admire you going with Lily. I hope things went well with the defrost and the transfer.

I've just given myself my first progesterone injection this tx and I have to say I had the collywobbles as despite everything I really do not like needles and it takes a lot of summoning up of resources in order to do it. Now perched on chair on one buttock only as I write this as too painful to sit properly. (can you imagine) . Hopefully will be able to use both on flight tomorrow as it will look a bit odd..

I have written lists for DH so hopefully everything will be OK. He only really is in sole charge tomorrow and Monday evening/Tuesday morning.  Feel better now that DD is 6 months older than last time I left her when she was only 14months old.  I do hate leaving them both and the thought of being so many miles away from DD but realistically I'll be there and back before you know it....

all the best, take care everyone,


roze x


----------



## Izzy x

Roze: Hope everything goes perfectly for you over the next few days. I'm sure DD will have a great time with her Daddy. Its really hard to leave them isn't it but this cycle sounds so perfect. Its not often that you get offered a chance like this. Anyway, we'll all be thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck. 

Izzy xxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Roze hunny - thinking of you - as Izzy says - this cycle is just meant to be isn't it? and yes, you will be back really soon..oodles of luck hun..

Just a quick one from me - all went well - have 2 blasts put back - one grade 2 ( expanding ) and a grade1/2 - the clinic were lovely - DD was fab on the flight - I don;t know who suggested it but the Calpol half an hour before hand certainly idd the trick - that an and a bottel on take-off and she slept in my arms both ways - I even got to read my paper and book and have a beer on the way out! 

Yesterday was a LONG day with ET at 09:30 and finally back in the London flat at 21:00. SHe slept all night though so we are much refreshed today and looking forward to meeting Almamay later.

Roze - you are soo good doing your Gestone jab - I had a panic on Friday night - the doc had said it was ok to use the Cyclogest for a day but I had thought I'd left it in London    Ten o'clock at night alone in a Czech hotel room - what to do?Try to do the jab myself - half dose perhpas? First time? Leave it as I'd had 400mgs that morning and hope for the best? I texted my friend who is in Soputh Africa doing tx too and was just about to try to call the doc on his mobile when I found them, snuggled down amongst the baby paraphernalia in teh bottom of my back - I tell you THAT was when I decided to open one of those little bottle and have a  glass of wine - my nerves were doing cartwheels!!!    at least after a  I calmed down and was able to sleep ( until Lily woke happily at 4:30!)

Ah the joys of being of being an abroadie! Roze I hope you are able to sit comfortably on teh plane - will be thinking fo you over the next few days and sending you sooo much        adn      

Thanks so mcuh to you all for your fabby support as always

hugs and kisses
RSMUM X


----------



## Sasha B

Sending lots of love to the lovely Rose and Deb! So pleased that two blasts are on board, Deb. Rest up, if that's possible . Roze, so glad all is going to plan. I know you will miss your DD and Dh, but you will be back with them before you know it.

Lots of love to you both.    that those lovely embies will stick.

Sasha xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Debs: Congrats on having the blasts put back safe and sound. Hope you've managed to relax a bit. Bet you can't believe you are back on a 2ww! 

Rose: Hope today went well.

Sasha: Hello there. Hope you and Bella are both OK 

Best Wishes everybody
Izzyx


----------



## Skirtgirl

RSMUM  well done for doing it on your own with dd ! and congrats on having 2 embies on board.

Roze good luck for the next few days and well done for doing the gestone on your own!

I have a scan tomorrow to see how my lining is doing, had a little bleed on friday so not feeling confident, Cant believe I also bled at this stage last time, what is it with me an bleeding when I shouldn't??

How many of you travel for fet alone? I am taking dh but now thinking maybe I should go it alone?

Hugs to you all I am off to bed as I feel awful with a bad throat etc dd and ds also have it so not much hope for any sleep.


----------



## Skirtgirl

As expected not good at the scan, lining only 3mm and uterus distended and filled with blood. Why cant things go to plan for once


----------



## bluebell

Just a quickie as supposed to be working today.........

Skirtgirl, so sorry about your lining. It's so annoying and horrible when things don't go to plan.  What does your clinic say you should do about this ?  Is it possible to rescue this cycle ?  Is there any way of avoiding it happening again by using a different protocol ?  Sending you big hugs and hoping it all comes together.

RSMUM, I am so pleased for you. I tried to text you a few times when you were in Czech but my texts to you wouldn't send.  Wierd.  Maybe something to do with networks.  Hope those blasties are burrowing nicely.  I have a good feeling about this for you.

Roze, owwwer !  Great news !  I am so happy for you that your donor has re-appeared !  I am wishing you all the very best for a great tx !

Izzy, how is your pregnancy ?  I would love an update.  I was going to see Marley and Me but maybe won't now because of the m/c bit.  I am still hurting after my 2 m/cs and even thuogh I am getting on with my life I still feel cheated and angry at times.   Lovely to hear that your DS still plays with Bobby.  Would love to meet you again when I am next in Midlands.  Would have called you this time but had load of visiting arranged already so the week was already jam packed.  Is DS excited about the new brother or sister on its way ?

Last but absolutely not least, Sasha my lovely I miss our chats.  We must speak very soon.  It feels like so long, especially as I was spoiled by speaking to you nearly every week a while ago.  Hope all is well with you and the lovely Bella.

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi Bluebell, how are you? good to hear from you. Haven't heard from the clinic, Uk Dr said no way of knowing if we can proceed or not just to wait and see. I am not really that bothered about this cycle being cancelled but dont know why it has happened to me twice  Nobody has an opinion it would seem!!!


----------



## roze

Dear all, just back at home after trip to Kiev- 3 embies on board.

Energy flagging a little now so I think I'll have a nap before DH arrives home with DD and will post more tomorrow.

Thanks for all your good wishes, and PMs from Bloobs and Sasha- will respond soonest.

RSMUM, we are ladies in waiting together!  Hope you are ok.  Now have to jab myself twice  every other day- as well as progesterone in oil there is now oxyprogesterone in oil which reduces the' fall' in levels throughout the day , so hey, the number of self - injections seems to have increased by 33%.....

take care everyone, speak soon,

roze  xx


----------



## bluebell

Great news Roze !!  Big fat sticky vibes to you from me !    
How many embies did you get in total ?  
Good luck for a peaceful and not too prickly (jabby!!!) 2WW !
Bloooooobs xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Roze congratulations on being pupo!!! good luck.

RSMUM how are you doing?

I have had my cycle cancelled this month they want me to ease off this cycle with 5 days of progynova and progesterone pessaries then wait for a blled and start cetrotide?? never had this before anyone else had it? Hopefully it will suit me better.

The only trouble is they are saying next transfer(if we make it ) would be 29th April this would put test date right about dd/ds birthday. Would you cancel? or am I being stupid. I just have 2 beautiful children and dont want to spoil any of their time for something that may never happen.


----------



## RSMUM

I would go for it as, if it's a BFN you'll at least be having a special day with your beautiful little ones and that will help to heal the pain, and if it's a BFP the day will be even extra special.  Also the preparations for the birthday and the LO's excitement building will be a nice, positive, albeit tiring  distraction during the 2ww..

anyway, that's just my opinion - but so, so sorry that this one's been cancelled..thinking of you hun

Roze - brill to see you back - curious about this extra med you are on - have never heard of it! 

gotta go - l is nappy-less and has just found my mobile... 

xxxx


----------



## roze

Hi,  hope everyone is well - its been a lovely day in the south east and I hope it has been good where you are too.

Skirtgirl, I think RSMUMS advice is sound- you may spend the day thinking about it in any case so won't enjoy yourself.

RSMUM, I gave up on the Ukrainian meds due to the bottles and having to inject myself twice a day, sometimes three. I have ordered a fresh supply from Italy and they have also sent me these pain free needles, which really work. They are called 'pic'. They might be useful for you?  How is the 2ww for you?

The 2ww has been going well so far for me although can't believe almost half way through already. I have a similar dilemma on testing as either I test before I go on holiday ( slightly too soon) or test when away, which could have the potential to ruin the holiday. We will be with the inlaws in France so I am concerned that someone will somehow find the peestick or discover that I've been to a clinic for the blood test. I've already had to make an appointment at a clinic there and convince DH's father to take us into town that day on false pretences. Oh the subterfuge of tx!  I wish it wasn't this way but it may be a blessing in disguise as at least there will be plenty of distractions. I won't have much internet access so will have to post on my return about the outcome.

I have however decided either way I will be cool about the outcome. 
No, honestly. Another BFN for me will just make me so grateful for DD's life as it will reinforce her as a complete miracle- it may seem a strange thing to say but I think thats the way things are at the moment- I'm realistic.  Our neighbours little boy has been very unwell and has spent a few nights in A+E. He is almost the same age as DD and they are so concerned about him. I think its some chronic illness that flares up now and then. He is not a strong boy.
I am so thankful that DD is strong and healthy and so far has none of these problems as I know how dreadful it is to have a child who is constantly in and out of hospital and who has to suffer a great deal with his parents standing by helpless.  
DD is developing more friendships and her cousins are looking to have more contact with her so we are thinking of arranging a sleepover in the summer. I feel happier now about her potentially having no siblings as I feel that she will have a lot of full and close relationships in her life regardless,as she is so sociable and makes friends easily.

If I am  blessed with a BFP  I wonder how I will react.  Last time was so wonderful but so full of anxiety and lots of ' doing' ie having unnecessary tests, telling all the medical professionals, etc., counting the days, constant googling this and that, and of course being on almost every thread on this website . 
I hope this time I would be calmer and just take things easier. I have after all done this before and things were fine. A high octane pregnancy isn't an option anyway with another child to look after.  Hopefully I will stay like this and its not just the progesterone talking!

All the best, and a happy relaxing Easter to everyone,

roze  xx


----------



## Izzy x

Hello Everyone,

Just popping in to wish Rsmum and Roze every luck over the next few days. 

We are going to be away over bank holiday and so i won't be online but i'll be keeping everything crossed for you both.

Best Wishes
Izzy x


----------



## RSMUM

BFN early this morning - know it;s only day 12 but..did the clearblue early test too..blood later today


----------



## bluebell

Bolloc*KS bollocK*********************s blooody hell and bolloc****ks***********        
So sorry Debs.  As I said in my text I really thought you were on a BFP roll.  I feel for you so much this morning.  BFNs are buggers.  Let's hope it's too bloody early and turns into a big fat positive. Hope you can compensate a tiny bit today by doing something nice with your girls.  
Bloooooobs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Grumpygirl

Thinking of you today, Deb.      Like Bloobs said, bugger. Mind you. it's not over yet... Sending you ++++++ vibes a-plenty, hun. YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO THOUGHTFUL to send me that lovely book while you're doing your 2ww, thank you so much. I have neglected my FFs recently and do feel guilty, but honestly, we're pulling 11pm finishes on diy-fests at the moment and I'm too knackered. You're never too far from my thoughts though. Loads of luck and hugs. xxx

Bloobs- how is my lovely date friend? I wish blokes were as much fun as you, I'd probably go out more!! Mind you, I'm not into women, promise! Will try to catch up soon. 

Roze- loads of luck!

Izzy- we need to catch up too!!! 5 week half term, eh? Bring it on!! Speak soon xx

Got to go, off on hols tomorrow and only back the day before schools go back so it's all v.chaotic and hectic here (surprise!). 

Thinking of you all,
love
Giggly
xx


----------



## Paxi

Hi girls, really sorry to just butt in.  I used to post here but have got rather out of touch...    Twins are now nearly 2 and a half years old, and I can't stop wondering about our 3 frosties.  Just don't know what to do...  Would love to have some advice, thoughts from others in a similar position.  If I were 10 years younger I'd be on the plane, but I do wonder about the risks of another pg (should we be so lucky) at this age, given that we already have two lovely boys.  We've just moved into a bigger house...  but dh is making comments about why we have so many baby clothes when we don't have a baby - and not in a 'lets go and get one' way, if you know what I mean.  I'm really sorry to be so selfish...  Still would welcome some advice - Kitty


----------



## bluebell

Hello Kitty,

Lovely to hear from you.  My gut feeling is absolutely to go for those frosties, especially as you say you can't stop wondering about them.  If you don't go for them, you might always regret it.  It's almost like you (if you are like me !!!) have to get them out of your system, so to speak .. or should it be get them into your system !  FETs are much cheaper and you never know, you might end up with a little sibling for your boys. How much do you feel like you want a child?  When I was pg with DD, I never thought that the longing would be so strong again, but it has been.  I feel that if I had two, then I would stop longing, but maybe that wouldn't be the case too !!!!!  (RSMUM, hope you don't mind me using you as an example there).  What does you partner think ?  Have you spoken to your clinic ?

However, medically, maybe you should discuss with your consultant........... but there are ladies on here older than you that have no problem at all.  

Keep us posted.
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Bllobs - can't wait to hear about your birthday treat! 

Just a quickie from me to wish you all a LOVELY, SCRUMMY EASTER!!

I've been having a lovely time with our friends, the house is full of children's laughter and which has lifted my spirits no end. I am going to try to get more kids over to play with my DD more often. Our friends bought a huge tent yesterday and put it up in our field, we had a bonfire and BBQ - a mini festival! And we'd spent the afteroon on the beach too - so a lovely, lovely day. DD's had the 4yrs old sleeping in her room on the floor and it's brought tears to my eyes hearing her read a bedtime story. 

Lily is suddenly almost 1 and starting to be like a toddler rather than a baby - pulling herself up and chattering away. Very, very cute - what a joy these children are to us - and so, so precious.

Anyway, just wanted to pop on as I'm thinking of Roze  ( dear Roze, you must be having a touch time in France with your odd in-laws...so hope you are managing to stay kind of ok hun    ) and my dear friend, Caron, one of the early abroadie pioneers - who's testing soon too     


Loads love to my wonderful abroadies..

DX


----------



## Izzy x

Debs, so sorry if your Bfn has been confirmed. Your last post was so uplifting and philosophical and i'm glad that you are enjoying the small things in life that those of us on this thread would never take for granted. I bet you are pleased that you went back for your frosties though. 
Hope that you are continuing to enjoy the Easter holidays. xxx


Roze, not sure when you are back from France but i'm hoping that things have gone OK for you. Its so hard to cover your tracks. Hope you remembered to throw out the wrapper from the top of the pee stick! i always end up leaving that in the bathroom somewhere in my haste to read the result! 



Bluebell, Paxi, Giggly and everyone else....i will post more later, someone is lurking around the computer and i need to get off quick.....!

Izzy x


----------



## Izzy x

I said i'd be back! 

As our DE journey is a secret from most people i had to jump of the thread quickly because i had a relative lurking behind me. !! 

Anyway, i'll carry on.

Paxi, I remember you from when we both conceived before! I have been thinking about your situation and its such a difficult decision for you. To have three frosties is fab but i guess that makes the decision even harder. I hope that you can find the right time to sort out with your DH exactly what you are both thinking. Make sure you keep in touch either way. 

Giggly, Hope you are having a lovely holiday. We were away over bank holiday too. My Dh's sister has not spoken to DH since that nasty phonecall at Christmas so at least we didn't have to visit her like we usually do! Goodness knows who she has told about the DE part of our little boys conception though. Its a worry because we want to keep it under our control so we can explain things to him when we feel it is the right time. Bah! 

Sasha, hope you and Bella are OK. xxx

Everyone else. Hope you are all fine and enjoying the lovely weather. (Well, its nice here!). 

This pregnancy is going OK. I was a bit worried that my bump was too small but it measured 2 weeks over  at the midwife appointment last week. My SIL (the nice one!) thinks that i have some sort of disorder where i look in the mirror and see a much slimmer person than reality! I told her that its taken years of practice! 

Anyway, take care all of you
Izzy x


----------



## roze

Hello all,

Just back from abroad this afternoon.  I can confirm I have a BFP with some very high numbers, (1970) on day 16 dpt bloods so potentially have triplets as considered too high just for twins.  I suspected something last weekend when I had some interesting symptoms with feeling hot, going to the loo a lot, etc but still very surprised to have a positive pee stick. I had thought I had better test at home in case I was ill as I did not want to travel with a bug etc.

A BFP was the name of the game however I am very uneasy now as to how many are in there, and it seems likely that a reduction is on the cards. Not feeling very good about all of this if I am honest. There was a dreadful story in the paper about a woman with twins who died in dreadful circumstances. I do not think I can cope with the risks of a multiple pregnancy which given my history, were not foreseen, nor could they have been. We will know more when I have a scan in a fortnights time and then will decide what to do. 

The inlaws were just awful ( I had actually forgotten how much) and the whole experience has just undermined my confidence totally. Its one thing trying to disguise a peestick from them, keeping potential triplets and the beginnings of morning sickness secret is another story!

I have had my parenting criticised from start to finish my DH's father and guess what, they event tried to control what I had for breakfast. Cereal 'allowed' only twice a week- even if we made it ourselves! We had to eat according to their ' agenda. 
They are seriously socially inept and weird. Not only did they go through our rubbish again to laugh at how much I ( yes me, not DH) throw out, I went to breakfast to find DD's breakfast leftovers from the day before (a quarter pot of manky day old yogurt) waiting for me. Not given to DH, just me, her mother. So I get fed my daughters leftovers as part of some wicked game.  This morning everyone was given a coffee mug; I was given a small espresso cup and told that I was not to have a bigger mug as I wasted so much.  I just walked out of the room and back down to pack.  I am 48 years old and these people are speaking to me like that!  DH was so freaked out by them that he packed our rubbish and took it to the airport to dump it in the toilets. Thats how bad things were.  Funny to an extent but tyrannical in another.  Its sad, but we have decided never to visit them on home turf again; our DD loves her grandfather and he loves her, but there is no way we are putting up with this [email protected] and allowing her to witness her mother being humiliated.  So I don't know what to think or do, but I am not going to endure this again and neither is DH.  
DH's father also made it clear he thought we were irresponsible having a child in our 40s. That conversation was cut short fortunately but its a sign of things to come if we have more or reveal that she was conceived via a donor.

Altogether a good result however one tempered with a few unpleasant experiences and people in between!#


I hope everyone else is well- I will read up on the posts over the weekend and do some personals.

all the best,


roze xx


----------



## Sasha B

Roze,

Let me be the first to say     . I know you're aware that this is the start of a new worry and wait but well done for getting this far! As for your numbers, I have known twins to be in the 1900's on day 16 so maybe its not triplets. I hope that the scan in 2 weeks time will put your mind at rest. As for feeling unsure & overwhelmed, that's natural and given the way that your in-laws behaved I'm surprised that is all you feel. I know you & you DH weighed things up very carefully before you went into this and it is YOUR decision and yours alone. If your in-laws can't cope with that it is their loss. Give it a few days for you to settle in back at home and then re-assess how you feel. I must say though, I am utterly disgusted by their behaviour to you. Where do they get off treating you like that? No one, whether you are daughter-in-law or not, should be subjected to that kind of bullying. I know its easy for me to say but you Dh really needs to speak out on your behalf, if they won't listen to you. I am so sorry that this has happened and I hope it hasn't taken away any of the joy of your BFP.

Rest up pregnant lady and please call me if you need to chat.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## crusoe

Roze
Huge congratulations to you on your BFP and I hope that your scan is reassuring to you.

As for the inlaws - mine are pretty odd and socially inept too - I sympathise greatly.

Love Crusoe
xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Roze, that's fantastic news !!!!!!!!!
We must have a good old in-law comparing notes session some time.  i am sure it will be good to have a purge !
As for your levels, they sound similar to mine with DD.  I could only have been having twins, as I only had 2 put back.  If that was your level 16 dpt, mine was 490 12dpt, which would have gone up to at least 1960 by day 16 and maybe more, so not neccessarily triplets.  I hope that now you are back home you can settle into some kind of normalilty and surround yourself with the comfort and peace that you deserve.
Well done Roze for such a big, fat positive !  You really deserve this after all you have been through.  Ditto Sasha, give us a ring any time !
Lots of love,
Bluebell xxxxxxxxx


----------



## bluebell

Izzy, thanks for the update !  Do you know the sex ?  Glad it is all going well.  It seems like so long ago that we met in Stratford for the 1st Abroadies meet and you had bump No. 1.  Hope to see you again in the Midlands sometime soon.  My DD still remembers your DS !  Lots of love to you and your lively family.  

Sasha, hpe you feel better soon .        Make sure you get the tlc from those around you that you deserve.

Bloobs xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Roze Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! not sure about what the levels mean but at least they are strong.  Your inlaws sound totally bonkers bet you are glad to be home.


----------



## RSMUM

Roze - wonderful news ! What amazing levels!!! You in-laws do sound truly mad as hatters - what a relief to be home!

all the best for the scan hun

XXXXXXXXXx


----------



## Izzy x

Roze, Just popping on quickly because we are going camping today and  i am meant to be packing. Many congratulations on the BFP !! Thats fantastic news.    

Izzy x


----------



## bluebell

Roze,
Just to let you know there are Abroadies on the main thread awaiting your news !!!  Was going to tell them but thought you would want to !!
Bluebell xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Hi everyone.  I haven't been around for a while, sorry, and hope I'm welcome back.  Just heard about RS Mum and wanted to express my sadness and disappointment on your BFN.  Hope you're ok - left a message for you, so hope you got that.  xx

Roze - forgive me for not knowing about your latest cycle.......I'm overjoyed at the BFP for you and know also how worrying it is with the levels so high.  Let's hope that nature takes care of itself in the best possible way, and leaves you to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.  I shall be thinking of you.  xx

Paxi - I remember you!  I know the dilemma.  x

Izzy - hope the pregnancy is going well.  Good luck.  xx

Crusoe......!!!!!  I'm delighted to read you've now got your son home with you and I hope that you're all blissfully happy together.  May the sun shine down on you all. xxxxx

Giggles me old fruit!!  That's amazing.......your baby will be born soon, blimey o'Reilly.  That was quick.  Good luck. xxxx

Bloobs......how are you and your lovely family?  I often think of you.  Hope all is well and our hill is still there!!   xxxx

Safarigirl.....are you back from hols yet?  xxxx

Bonnie......how are you?  xx

Sorry to everyone I haven't mentioned - I'm off again, but hopefully back soon to join you again.  I came on and can't read everything as there's too much, so forgive me for not replying to everyone's news.  I've missed the place and of course its lovely people!  Good luck everyone. xx


----------



## bluebell

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, WWAV, what a treat to see you posting.  Tell us your news and how you are.
Blooobs xxxxxxxxx


----------



## bluebell

PS RSMUM, I see that little DD is nearly 1 !!  Blimey that has shot past.
What are your plans for her birthday ?
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## crusoe

WWAV - so good to hear from you, I think of you often and wonder how you are doing!
Much love
Crusoe
xxx


----------



## safarigirl

roze - what wonderful news a bfp!!!  Excsuse my lateness but I have been away over easter - a lovely long break!
I can imagine that you are worried, but my best advice (hindsight and all that) is to wait until your scan which is in a week or so, and take it from there, it is always best to deal with facts and not torture yourself with what may or not be.
I am sorry you had to undergo such a hideous time with your (out)laws, they do sound strange, and i can imagine that your dh is very pleased that he has a different family now!  Dealing with them, and being pregnant must have been difficult, but you seem to have done so admirably.....
anyway you have my email if you want to chat, or need some support over the following weeks, but for now, a very big congrats to you


----------



## Womb with a View

Hi to Crusoe and Bloobs, bless you both!  I hope that life is good for you too?  xxx

Safarigirl - lovely to have you back from hols.  Hope you had a fab time?  Must meet......Roze has emailed me and suggested meeting, when we're all free.  Hope your little one is fabby.  xxxx

Roze - been thinking of you and meant to say I've been in great admiration of how you coped with the Out Laws - I'd have been behind bars by now, so well done!  I hope you're feeling a little less concerned........I echo Safarigirl.  If you can put those concerns on hold and just wait until the scan.....?  Easier typed than done, I know.  xxxx

RS Mum...... xxxxxxxx

Plenty of news from me and yet nothing much!  Life is just the same and I'm in heaven with my little one.    Ahhhhhhhh I hear you say!  xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Just popping on to say a big thank you to you all for your wonderful support and kind words - they don't call this a rollercoaster for nothing, do they?    I've been finding it quite hard to deal with BFN as I've had such conflicting emotions.. I feel like I don't deserve to feel so sad as I'm lucky to have my two. Can't quite believe it's the end of iot all for me and not quite ready to do that " cleaning out the garage " thing    

Anyway, just wanted to say and LOVELY to see you posting WWAV adn SFG - hope you had a lovely time on your hols.

Roze? When is your scan hun?


----------



## roze

Hi, everyone,

Apols for not posting much , I've been a little icky the last two days; the sick feelings and fatigue  seem to have started with a vengeance already and had night sweats the last two nights which has been put down to the oxyprogesterone, so I'm off that now. The icky stuff seems to pass either with food or a lie down for 15 minutes fortunately. 
Went to GP today and told them, a little early but I felt it probably safer to do so in case I needed their services urgently. Apparently there is a race to get into one of our local hospitals, the better one, so even though its early and uncertain days I have asked to be referred already. Is there no area of life safe from competitiveness and ' get in quick' as this offer won't last long sort of thing?! 

RSMUM, I don't know what to say. I know the conflicting emotions scenario well. We kept all of the DD's things which over two years takes up a great deal of room and even if this cycle hadn't worked I'm not sure if I could have thrown them out.  Some people find this task easier than others.

My scan is booked for the Bank Hol weekend but we are probably going to bring it forward by a day or two as we would like to go away that weekend, so it will be around 6 weeks +5 when I have it. DH will be working and DD will be at the childminders, so I will be going alone as better for DD not to be there I think as I'll probably have to be scraped off the floor whatever the outcome.

SFG and WWAV, hopefully we can get to meet up soon.  Lets PM to see what we can do?

Bloobs, glad you sound so well.  It must be lovely up there in Perthshire at the moment- has spring sprung or is it a little bit early? 

Crusoe, I hope things continue to go well with DS. You must be so overjoyed. Its a nice time of year to go out for lots of walks with him, playing in parks, etc.

Love to everyone else, I know I am missing loads of people off but I hope you forgive me for now,

take care,


roze  x


----------



## Womb with a View

Owwwww RS Mum......I really feel for you.  I can imagine what you're going through - I've been through it myself a few months back, although, hopefully, we're still going for another tx in the summer (Aug probably).  I cannot bear to imagine what might happen after that if it's a negative.  Same donor has volunteered her services again, as you know.  Long story and don't want to offend anyone on here, so won't relay it.  Really feeling for you Debs. xxxxxx

Roze - I can imagine you'll be on the floor hun - totally get that.  I hope all proceeds well.  Will email back shortly with dates, if you and Safarigirl are up for it. xxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Hi everyone I have been reading but not posting much really.
We are hoping to go for FET next wednesday assuming lining stays good, I have had one scan and it was 8.4mm and the clinic have not asked for another one. I an nervous about booking flights etc as I have bled on both previous cycles and the last one was cancelled.However I noticed some days next week selling out!!!!

Roze good idea not to take DD with you! You might be on the floor what ever but whatever it is will all be fine I am sure once you get used to that fact that all the embies have implanted and split into ID twins!!!!!  Just joking I am sure it will be lovely news for you.

Rsmum    this si such a difficult time for you.


----------



## safarigirl

roze, WWAV, rsmum (and anyone else!!) - it would be great to meet up - i am pretty much free most wed and frid's .... and able to travel!
Roze i work in your area, so if you would like me to join you for your scan let me know and i could perhaps nip out from work to support you?
rsmum, feel like i havnt really supported you lately, sorry you are having such a hard time .... so sending you lots of hugs and am heare if you feel like a chat ...


----------



## roze

Hi, just lost a post!  SFG, it would be great to meet up- my scan is in central London though so would probably be diff for you to get to, but thanks for the offer, much appreciated.  Perhaps we ought to text or PM the arrangements, especially as we will be bringing our DD's!

Feeling a little crampy and odd now, and certainly not as pg as I felt yesterday. I made the mistake of doing another pee stick test (2) as had some sticks left over and had to do a sample for my GP. Guess what, the second line is there but much fainter than before, on both samples. It also takes longer to appear. I don't know what to think. Maybe the pee sticks don't like a lot of HCG ( I should be in the 30000 by now) or they signify a sudden drop.  I feel AF may be on its way any minute, but then I do have a tummy upset so it could be that sort of tension down there. As I said , anything can happen  so not good to take anything for granted.  Time will tell either way but at the moment no evidence to justify rushing off either to the EPU or for blood tests at the moment.  Wished I'd burnt the bl**dy pee sticks to be honest.

hope everyones ok, sorry to spread such doubt in the absence of anything concrete but its not a positive pg day for me!


roze


----------



## RSMUM

Roze - don't panic - remember that sort of feeling is the uterus doing it's stuff when you are preg.- I remember so often a real feeling of AF about to start any second - it's so scary...also I HATE these pee sticks as I don't think they are very reliable - they do seem to be quite random sometimes..also I remember that preg feeling just notbeing there one day and back full on the next - your hormones must be all over the place hun - hang in ther and I hope tomorrow is a better day


----------



## safarigirl

roze i second rsmum, unfortunately the feeling of impending af and pregnancy are quite alike - i would step away from the peesticks - your levels are beyond what they are therefore (to pick up from scores of 20 i think ....
my mantra used to be "stay cautiously optimistic"


----------



## roze

Dear all,

Thanks for all your support, everyone!  So far so good.  I am doing a course and also have recurring pg sickness throughout the day so trying to cope with various things so haven't been able to post much ; apols if it looks as if I'm not keeping in touch with what everyone else is doing; hopefully this will subside and I'll feel better soon and more able to chip in and support in return everyone else.

Have periods of extreme tiredness occasionally but also lots of energy at odd times so trying to balance out activities to suit. Can't eat much in the morning or evening but knocking back large amounts of food at lunchtime including DD's leftovers.  I bought some fish for us all and now can't face the sight or smell of it so have wrapped it up and hid it at the back of the fridge; DH is going have to cook it - secretly and with the back door open.  Chicken and pasta are the main cravings, as is garlic mayonnaise.

Not sure when scan will be- next week would be best as after 7 weeks hence more conclusive but I am so keen to see how many are in there,hence not sure whether to have this sooner so that I can either a) put my mind at rest or panic or b) wait. Now just want to know whats going on so may be sooner!  Have hosp and midwife appts set up already, at 'good' hospital' so at least thats something sorted out and I can put aside the awful memories of the 'other place'.  DH doesn't think he can attend the nuchal scan, but surely even teachers can book time off for such things, if several weeks notice is given?  I really do not want to be alone at that one.


Keep well everyone, and good luck with anyone with tx in the immediate future.

roze x


----------



## Skirtgirl

Roze so glad you are feling sick and tired IYKWIM  where else could you say that to someone and it be a positive comment?? Hope things continue to go well for you and good luck for the scan whenever you decide to have it. i am sure DH should be able to take time off for thta my kids teachers are in and out all the time!


----------



## bluebell

Sorry just a quickie as supposed to be working today and haven't done anyhting yet !!  
Just wanted to say hello to Roze and glad to see that al is progressing well so far.  Let us know when the scan is booked.

Good luck to you too Skirtgirl and glad the lining is hanging in there for you this time.

Bloobs xxxx


----------



## safarigirl

roze - glad to hear your symptoms back!!!!  I am sure your dh can get time off for your nuchal scan, if he cannot for any reason i will make myself available to hold your hand!!!  your scan is coming up soon!!!!!  Take it easy until then ...

big hello to everyone else .....


----------



## babycrazy

Sorry for crashing in here .
I had TX at Repromeda May 2007 , got a BFP  and gave birth to a beautifull baby girl now age 15mths.
My reason for posting is to reassure you Roze, that high HCG does not necessarily mean a multiples.
My HCG 15 days past 5day with 2 x blast was 2350. I had a scan at 6wks +4 and only one baby was present, there was no sign of another that had tried to implant, I also was one of the lucky women that had no bleeding or spotting at-all. I used estrogen patches and ugesterone pessaries to support PG. the latter not as srong as Gestone
The extreme lethargy  in PG , is i believe due to our great age. I was 51 at TX. I had babies in my twenty,s and noticed the great difference, despite this i still found the energy to give birth naturally at home with only a 2 & 3/4 hr labour age 52 & 9days old..
I look forward with much excitement to seeing your scan results.
Angel Blessings
XX
Karen BC


----------



## roze

Dear all,

Its been confirmed today that I have a multiple pregnancy however its not all plain sailing ahead. I therefore hope that everyone will forgive me if I say its probably best I say no more right now on the subject and will probably not be posting further for a little while as the issues facing us are difficult and probably not really appropriate for this thread.

Sorry to be so cryptic but I do hope everyone will understand and that no one , especially those I've known for a long time, will take offence or be hurt.

All the best to everyone,

roze


----------



## crusoe

I am sending you a big hug Roze and lots and lots of best wishes. Thinking of you at what sounds like a happy but also very tough time.

Love Crusoe
xxx


----------



## bluebell

Roze, just wanted to wish you all the best and send you lots of love for the next and difficult stage of your journey.  Please feel free to email or phone me any time you want to offload.  I will always be here for you.
Bluebell xxx


----------



## safarigirl

roze thinking of you - you have my email and number if you want to talk more privately ... need  a sounding board, or just an ear ....


----------



## RSMUM

Roze - thinking of you and wishing you all the best

xx


----------



## Sasha B

Rose, I ditto what everyone else has said. Please call anytime you want to chat and please don't ever feel that you would say anything to offend me. We all, myself included, want to support you through this.

love,

Sasha xxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

roze this journey is never easy but follow your heart and dont worry about what anyone else may think or not . You will make the right choice for you and your family at this timexxx

I am back now with my 2 embies on board settling in for the 2ww!! it all went really well and they defrosted only 2 embies which were described as Perfect and Very good, I didn't ask for more details.So we still have 7 if it all goes belly up!!!


----------



## bluebell

That's fantastic news Skirtgirl !!!  Yipeeeeeeee !  Here's to a successful 2WW for you.

Roze     

Bluebell xxxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Dearest Roze - I woke up this morning thinking of you so logged on (as I knew your scan was due around the Bank Hol).  I really feel for you.  This is never an easy journey but I do hope this is a positive one for you in the end.  As adhoc as I am on this forum now, please do get in touch if you want via my private email address.  Always here to listen.  A big hug to you.  xxxx


Skirtgirl -   that's great news and I wish you all the very best for the next week or so..........good luck hun. x

RS Mum - thinking of you.  xx

Anyone heard from Mrs Minerva?  Often think of her.

I owe a few emails  Bloobs (sorry hun) and am now up for meeting in the next few weeks Safarigirl (work has been full-on and still no childcare other than DH   don't know how I'm doing it, but I am, but it's too much for me) so let's wait to hear from Roze and we'll get something organised.  xxxx

Love to you all xxx


----------



## mini-me

Hi girls,

Skirtgirl - hope the 2ww is going as well as it can be!   

Roze - thinking of you.


Well, I've had a fairly traumatic time of late.  My poor baby boy has spent just over 3 weeks in hospital for inflammed lymph nodes in both sides of his neck. They tried to treat them with antibiotics intravenously but they would not go down.  He ended up having surgery with a GA to drain them.  After the first one it would not stop bleeding so he had to go back to theatre and needed a blood transfusion. He then went back to surgery a 3rd time as the other side of his neck was going the same way as the first so they had to drain the other side too.  So at 3 months, my darling boy has had 3 small ops as well as a blood transfusion, numerous ultrasounds and a chest x-ray.  To look at him now you wouldn't think there was anything wrong - he even had his immunisations a day after leaving hospital and they didn't affect him at all.  He's a very socialable baby and charmed all the staff who absolutely loved him.  It didn't hold him back either as he's trying to roll over at 3 months!!  Both hospitals (local and bigger one for ops) were fantastic and we were involved at every stage as part of the team looking after him.  The staph A bug was isolated but we will never know how he got it.  But they are doing follow up and have done blood tests (sent to Great Ormond Street) to check his immune system.  Of course I feel guilty, was I clean enough - DH says yes as I'm almost obsessive.  I had to give up breastfeeding at 6 weeks which I was devastated about, but I was reassured this had nothing to do with it.  I just have to accept it's one of these things.

Hope to post more often now things have hopefully settled down.

Love to all,
mini-me
xxx


----------



## Izzy x

Mini-me: What a very stressful time you have had. So glad to hear that your little boy is much better now. He sounds like a gorgeous little baby if he made all of those hospital staff cluck all over him. One of my friends is a Social worker and the stories she tells me about hygeine from some of the mothers she meets are horrendous. It just goes to show how tough the little babies are and it is just very unlucky that your little one got an infection. My friend told me about a mother she visited recently who did not even realise that newborn babies don't drink cows milk and she was feeding a bottle to her little baby that was completely sour cows milk. About the breastfeeding too......i didn't get to breastfeed for long because of a long list of reasons! I'm sure that the impact on my little boy has, overall, been minimal and my DH and my little boys Grandma have both had the additional joy of spending cosy feeding times with him. Please try not to worry too much about it. Hope that things are gentler for you from now on.....sounds like you've had a really hard few eeeks x

Roze: Hope things are OK for you. I'm sure that you know that we are all thinking of you. xxxxx

Skirtgirl, congrats on your embies and good luck . Thats a bumper amount in the freezer too! Hope you won't need them this time though ! When are you testing? Hope that the 2ww isn't being too horrendous. 

Hello to everyone else too. Its so lovely to read your posts. 

I'm doing well and the baby is measuring a good size. I'm trying to make sure that i fully enjoy this pregnancy instead of worrying because i don't think i'll be able to pursuade DH to have another one! My SIL phoned my DH the other night for the first time since the arguement at Christmas (over the fact that she was going to tell her teenage / adult children about our DE treatment, we don't think it is any of their business) She didn't mention the arguement and nor did DH  .  I think that it should be sorted out but i don't want to interfere in a sibling relationship......guess i'll go with the flow for a while.) Just wonder if my emotions about it all might boil over when she comes down to visit the new baby though. i know that those first few days you feel pretty eratic anyway!!   . Blimey....anything could happen! 

Anyway, wanted to say hello to you all because i haven't posted for a little while. I think about you all often though xx

Izzy x


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## Skirtgirl

Izzy glad you pregnancy is going well hope you are feeling well with it. sorry about the probs with sil, families can be so insemsitive cant they?

I have survived the 2ww in remarkable fashion almost forgot about it for the odd day!!! OTD tomorrow but am putting it off as I dont want to spoil the kids birthday and tbh I am too busy anyway. Dont feel confident as I have no symptoms and feel far to bouncey to be pg!!!  

Hugs to everyone elsexxx


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## Sasha B

Dear Skirtgirl,    to your two little ones and hoping that your test will show a BFP, despite your lack of feeling pregnant. Every pg is different.

love,

Sasha xxx


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## Womb with a View

Skirtgirl - fingers crossed for you......we all know how worrying, exciting, fearful, agonising the 2ww can be.  Good luck. xxx

Izzy - lovely to hear from you and I hope you're really enjoying your pregnancy!  If I get pregnant again I vow I'm enjoying mine!  I was so unwell last time, it was like an illness more than anything else.  Good luck and I can't believe your SIL was going to tell her children.  Nowt as funny as folk. xxx

Mini-me - really feel for your little one, bless him.  I'm glad he's on the mend.  I know it must be worrying and heart-pulling.  xxxx

Sasha - hope you're well, ditto your little one. xxxx


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## Skirtgirl

Thanks for all your support girls, I got a   cant believe it!!! been shaking all morning and cant stop now.


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## bluebell

Woooopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Skirtgirl !!!
Well done you !!             
Here's to a successful and uneventful pregnancy for you.
Are you having an HCG - can't remember ?
Bluebell xx


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## Skirtgirl

Yep 490!!!!  still shaking  though and cant get hold of dh!!!


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## bluebell

I can relate to the shaking ... been there !!!
Enjoy !!!!
490 !!  Twinnies !!!  
Bluebell xxx


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## Skirtgirl

no think it would be just 1 as I am 18dpo it was over 700 with the twins!


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## Martha Moo

Hiya

just popping in to say

Skirtgirl congratulations on your 

so pleased to read your news

Love Emxx


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## Sasha B

Yipee Skirtgirl, congratulations on your !!!  What a great bithday present for your twins!   that this pregnancy will go very smoothly for you.

love,

Sasha xxx


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## Womb with a View

That's brill, fab, wonderful news!!!!!!  Have you got hold of him yet?

xxxxx


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## Skirtgirl

Nope still cant get hold of him!!!


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## mini-me

Skirtgirl - hope you get hold of him soon!  Have posted on the other thread but congratulations again!!   


Thanks for your kind words girls.  DS is in great spirits, he's such a lovely little boy.  He can roll over from his front totally now when we have tummy time, but he can't quite manage it from his back to front yet - he's not sure what to do with his arm underneath!    He's most definitely found his vocal chords and babbles away to everybody.

Izzy - thanks for the reassurance about hygiene.  I think he was just very unlucky - my steriliser and kettle were definitely in better condition than the hospital's!  Glad to hear you're doing well and enjoying your pregnancy.  
I started to get broody for another when ds was 2 months old!  Not sure if I can take anymore tx so we may try naturally - not expecting much but you never know.  

Must dash, baby crying!

love mini-me
xxx


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## Sasha B

Dear Mini-Me, 

I am so sorry to hear that you had such a worrying time with your dear little boy. Fantastic to hear that he is growing and developing normally. This is such a magical time, when they start to want to do things and the little personality becomes more visible. I hope you can put all the trauma behind you now and enjoy your gorgeous son.

love,

Sasha xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Hello my lovely Abroadies!

So sorry to be away for sooooo long! So much news to catch up on!

I am fine, I was very ill after DS was born, due to an infected c-section incision, and it took me a long time to get back on my feet; really annoying, as I sailed through my pregnancy, for an oldie but goldie!

DS is a complete and total delight, sleeps through the night and loves his food.

I am enjoying my maternity leave!

Will try to catch up with everyone. 

I just needed to get away from the whole infertility thing for a while and just be a Mum - hope that makes sense and doesn't sound unkind/thoughtless....

Love to all,

Jules


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## Izzy x

Hello Everyone! 

Just thought i'd better post and bump the thread up a bit. Hope you are all doing OK. 

Mrs M, Glad that you are enjoying your DS so much. He sounds amazing! That C-section infection sounds awful. Hope it didn't spoil your first few weeks with your little boy. 

Hope everyone else is doing OK. 

I have been to see the consultant today and they are very keen to c-section me. They would have done it today i think! 
The baby is still floating high and they don't think it will engage within the next 2 weeks. As i have had a previsous c-section, they do not want to induce me and so it is either c-section or spontanious labour (unlikely to happen). They have booked me in for a c-section in two weeks time but i hope the baby engages and i go into labour before then.  My c-section was fine before.....i enjoyed it......but now that i have a toddler i am trying to avoid the longer recovery period. 

Anyway....i'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks. It was really tempting to meet the baby today! 

best wishes everyone....thinking of you all
Izzy x


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## Womb with a View

Hi Izzy!  Good to hear from you and keeping this thread alive!

Wow....your pregnancy has gone really quickly!  Good luck darling.  Thinking of you and hope goes swimmingly.

xxxx


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## Grumpygirl

Izzy,
I owe you a phone call!! Has been manic here and we're about to move to the Bristol area for the next week for pretty much the same reasons as you're describing...Will have to give you a ring when I'm driving round the countryside! Loads of luck, I am sure you were very tempted to meet baby today! Wishing you loads of luck, petal!

Hi to everyone else!
love
Giggly
xx


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## RSMUM

ooh Giggly and Izzy ....ooooohhh!!!        ....xxxxxxxxxxxx

Great to see this thread up and running again

X


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## Womb with a View

Giggles......only 9 days to goooooooooooo!!!!!!!  Hope you're well me darling.  xxxxxx

Debs.....I owe you and Bloobs an email.....sorry hun, as you know, so busy and will come back to earth soon.  Only logged onto this one as I saw an email alert and got very excited! xxxxxxxx


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## Skirtgirl

Izzy and Giggly  not long now!!! I bet you are both so excited. Good luck  and I cant wait to see you post about your little ones!!


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## safarigirl

Izzy and Giggly - perhaps we should start some betting on who gets their first!!!!!!!

So excited for both of you, and will be watching these boards for announcements ......

lots of love to you both


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## Izzy x

A Giggly and Izzy race to the finish! Its going to be a close one! 

Of course i have Giggly to thank anyway because if she had not started up the Serum thread....there wouldn't be a race! I'd better let her win!    

Thanks for all your best wishes lovely people on this thread. 

Skirtgirl....i need to congratulate you on your news as well......thats fabulous.  Hope the first 12 weeks is passing quite quickly for you. 

Best wishes everyone
Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## bluebell

Wouldnt it be great if you both met your babes on the same day.  That would be so exciting.  I am so happy for you both ........ two lovely FF buddies who deserve only happiness.  Ooops I´ve made you sound like a couple !
Yes, let´s place bets and I hope Giggles that Jane is feeling a bit less pain now.
Love to everyone else ... WWAV and Sgirl great to see you posting.¨
Special hugs to Roze too.  Thinking of you often.  I tried to PM you but wasn´t able to.
Bluebell xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Izzy and Giggly - can't wait to hear your news!

Big hello to all my lovely abroadie friends, sorry that I am soooooo bad at posting these days....


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## Womb with a View

Great to see you posting Ms Minerva!  I often wonder how you are.  How's your little one? xxxx

Safarigirl.......will now read your email, hope you're ok hun. xxx


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## mini-me

Hi girls,

Good to see this thread up and running again.  I've been hoping for another miracle since DS was 2 months old!  

A race between Giggly baby and Izzy baby?!  Izzy baby - you better get a move on as Giggly baby won't be long now!  

Love mini-me
xxx


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## SarahElizabeth

Hi! I have been AWOL for ages and ages but just wanted to let those who will remember me (WWAV, Sasha, Bluebell, RSMum in particular) that our baby boy was born in January and is now 21 weeks old.  All going well and have been learning fast as to how to juggle dealing with the demands of two little ones (whilst feeding babe 2 1/2 year old causes destruction!!).  I had another c section and think have recovered well despite being TERRIFIED initially in case I lifted No 1 son by accident and caused damage.  I am very behind with reading the boards but hope to keep up a bit.

WWAV I have tried to email you for ages but always get the message that your email box is full!

Love to all 

Beth x


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## Womb with a View

Sarah Elizabeth......that's wonderful news.....I had been thinking of you over the months and thought you'd have had your baby by now!!!  Congratulations, how wonderful.  Glad to hear the c-section is ok.  I hadn't realised my inbox was full - so sorry and will empty it now!  Do keep in touch.......I'm delighted for you hun. xxxx

Bloobs - how are you lovely?  xx

A bit of a "me post" unfortunately and I'm sorry to say.......our lovely donor (who is the original donor for our gorgeous angel, and with whom I got a bfp again early this year but then miscarried) found herself pregnant again in March (she already has children).  We were told she would be having a termination and would be happy to assist us again this summer or autumn.  We've just had an email from the IM with the news that our donor didn't have the termination but is happy to assist us next year sometime, bless her.  We are relieved and happy that she didn't have the termination........I personally felt getting pregnant again would have been at the cost of a termination, although I know that wasn't the case and totally illogical, but I just couldn't shake that feeling.  DH is really fed-up and disappointed.  Me too although I suspected this would happen.  We have a male donor who's sperm we've got enough of for another 2 cycles.  He's the original donor too.  So, we have 4 choices.  Give up now.  Wait until our female donor is ready again (and that might not happen, for any of many reasons) and it might not lead to a bfp and time is ticking on for us.  Go with a different female donor (the IM say they'll provide one), although this isn't our first choice as we wanted a biological sibling for our child, even though there will be one of the donors which remain the same.  Or, go with a different female donor and if that doesn't lead to a sibling for our child, then take up the option of the original female donor's offer for next spring.  

The IM have said they'll not strike me off because of my age.........but they will next year, as I'm ancient by then.

I am so confused.  Is God trying to tell me something?  Why has this been such a "tease" or a near miss?  DH is worried about our children not being "true siblings" as the IM put it.  I could cry.  I feel we've waited so long for this donor.....she was pregnant last year.  She's been great, I know.  I just feel it's a blow when it's so unfair.  However, I know we're blessed.....we have what we set out for......a beautiful child.  Thanks for listening.  I'm weary of it all.  xxx


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## RSMUM

WWAV - sorry, this is going to be really short - but just wanted to post quickly before loggin off and trying to wrok out how I've managed to amass a truck-load of stuff just for 5 days away!  I don't know if this will help or not, but I just wanted to say that my family consists of two half-siblings and two half-sisters and it never bothers me in the slightest, and I'm pretty sure that the others feel the same - also, when I see R almost bursting with love for little L I know that the who donor/genetics thing is NOTHING compared to the fact that she is here and she is soo loved.. " true " siblings are " true " in the sense that tehy are there for each other through all that life throws at them, regardless of how they became siblings..sorry, but that's my two pen'uth!  

I really hope it's not upsetting, me writing this, I just hope it helps with your decision - I think the option of going with a new DE first is a good one, as you say, you don't really know how your original donor's life will work out by next year, and you may have no choice if you wait ..

It's a tough call..please give me a   any time you feel like a shoulder or an ear 

ok better get back to it ..sigh..then it's a big   as I HATE flying so will avoid having one tomorrow night in case I get  carried away and end up with a hangover for the flight the next day 

Hang in there hun

XXXX


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## mini-me

WWAV - my heart goes out to you.    
I agree with Debs, 'true' siblings are there for each other regardless of genetics.  DH's children from his first marriage see my DS as their brother with no mention of the word half.  This is despite living hundreds of miles away and they have only seen him once.  Hope this helps.   

I understand you're dilemma though - we're facing a similar one too, but with the donor's age.

RSMUM - have a good trip away!

Love mini-me
xxx


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## roze

WWAV, I am so sorry that you are going through such a dilemma. We think things will be sorted when we finally manage to have our babies, but then a whole host of other issues arise re siblings. I know this one too well. Has caused me more sleepless nights than DD ever did!

Will IM not treat you if and when this donor agrees to donate again after her baby is born? If that is really the case and you definitely want to try for a sibling, I think you are better off seeking another egg donor as that will be a definite whereas you really don't know how things will pan out with the donor who gave you DD. I know its tricky to give advice on this but I just think the same as the others- sibling relationships are created through love and understanding, not genetics. I think of my own family ie my first cousins. We are and always have been so very different in  looks, educational achievements and attitudes and now don't have anything to do with each other. The blood bond that exists is simply not strong enough to tie us together. To be honest, I used to wonder how we were part of the same family, there were too many chasms of ideology and interests.  I did not really like them at all. 
I regard as my sister a West Indian friend who I have known for 30 years. She is my soul mate and I love her dearly as a sister. 

Hi to everyone else- apologies for not posting reliably recently ( will explain everything another time but personal and domestic difficulties afoot) 
but I am lurking with great interest and wish everyone well. 

Hi to Sarah Elizabeth. Good luck to Izzy and Giggly- I can't believe D day is almost here for both of you already!

Safarigirl, will respond to your lovely kind email soon- I'd love to catch up. Will call you soon to explain everything.

Bloobs, hope my PM did not go over the top and that things are OK with you.

Skirtgirl, RSMUM, MiniMe, Ms Minerva, and to anyone I may have missed as so dipsy these days, a big hi to all of you,

Keep well, ladies,

roze  x


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## nats210

Hi all
Quick update for me, back from Spain yesterday with 2 frosties onboard so now in the 2ww. This time i am really going to try and just carry on as normal instead of becoming obsessed with every twinge etc. So far niggly pains and a touch of thrush i believe which is painfull and annoying.

WWAV i struggled with this 1 as well. our original donor was not available (didn't return any calls etc) which is totally fair enough and I wasn't sure if we would try again with another donor but the desire for DS to have a sibling was stronger. We don't have any more frosties and i am not sure what we will do next will cross that bridge in a couple of weeks i suppose. 

Love to all
Nats


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## Womb with a View

Nats.......that's great news......good luck hun.....   chant with me "bfp, bfp, bfp"!!!  xxx

Dear Safarigirl, RS Mum and Sasha.....thank you so much for your lovely emails.  You people are just ACE!  The loving help and thoughtfulness made me cry today.  Thank you.  Sorry I haven't replied to them all.....in a bit of a manic week or 3, at the moment.  Thank you dearly. xxx

Dear Roze (I think of you often), Nats and Mini-me.....thanks so much for taking the time to post.  You've helped enormously, ditto the ladies above.......I am still torn.  DH is "thinking".  I am a little panicked about it all.......if we don't wait and if we wait.  It's all the unknown.  Safarigirl sent me an email which made so much sense.......so I decided we'd wait, then Sasha sent one and RS Mum and I'm now thinking they make sense too and I'm back to square one!!!   I am looking for divine intervention.  I believe in such things.  Maybe divine intervention has happened already and I'm not reading the signs.    Thank you, thank you.  Love to you all and good luck Nats.

xxx


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## roze

At the end of the day people/children will manage without siblings- they always have done. I do feel some of us ladies have been through an awful lot already with trying to have one baby, then we insist on piling on more pressure upon ourselves. 

We love our children and want to do the best for them but the fact is we have all done our best. If nature or other circumstances dictate , as it does for many people not just iVF'ers ( I have a number of friends whose relationship broke down and they found themselves single parents of young children, and they never really got into another relationship in time to have other children- they have had the same thoughts, issues, and regrets. One tried donor sperm several times but it did not work and she was heartbroken, convinced that her daughter would be disadvantaged- not a bit of it- gorgeous happy child!) that another is not possible then we should not be too hard on ourselves. We have been on the roller coaster for some time and its only natural that we become weary of the treadmill. I know that a lot of my pressure came from guilt about DD being donor conceived and us being in our 40s. It probably was not the right reasons.  I did not enjoy being an only child but I think a lot of that was to do with other things lacking in my life, and having only a few other family members. It doesn't have to be that way for everyone and is certainly not inevitable. The problem as I see it is finding a time when we feel comfortable enough to cease seeking further treatment. 

I still personally think that having a child does not cure infertility and that the stresses of tx over the years do not automatically go away.I think myself very lucky indeed to be amongst people who can share those experiences and who understand. 

WWAV, take some time out mentally to decide which way to go.You do have some time- you may not think that now, but you do. You don't have to make a decision tomorrow. You should find that the pendulum will stop swinging so violently and will settle very soon, enabling you to have a clearer head and to make a better decision that you will be 80-90% happy with. None of us know how we will feel about things in the future and I think that is the best % we can all hope to get to in situations like this.

roze x


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## Womb with a View

Thanks so much Roze, and I know how busy you must be.  I shall give myself some time......best thing, it'll become clearer.  I do have guilt about being "old" and having our child, and I think my DH and I have burden them with being donor origin and being elderly when they are just in their early 20s.  I shall have to live with that and I suppose part of wanting another child is to take away that burden from our child as an only child when we're old.  I hope that doesn't upset anyone.  These weren't thoughts I had before I gave birth but rather in recent months.  Thanks again.


----------



## Skirtgirl

nats welcome home and congrats on being pupo!!! I hope you manage to stay calm and relaxed for the 2ww, is that actually possible??

Wwav  sounds like a hard dilema for you. I honestly dont hink there is a right or wrong answer to this just one that you feel most comfortable with. I have biological twins and am now carrying a donor baby, I did have some doubts originally but not now.


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## safarigirl

WWAV - i absolutely agree with roze, take a bit of time , and the answer will rise up, you will feel instinctivly (or near enough as roze says) whether to wait or whether to go with someone else - as always their is no right or wrong way, just a choice that you make that is in itself the "right" choice ... but you need a little bit of time for you to see whether your answer is timing (go now) or same donor (wait).
sending you my love .... always around if you need a chat ....

haah i did laugh at the thought of divine intervention having already taken place and you missing it!!!!  But, all jokes aside, your heart will guide you!


----------



## Izzy x

Hi Everyone, 

Just caught up with the threads after weekend way. 

WWAV: I read your post this morning and i've been thinking about it today. I would say that it would be good to go for a different donor. This is because, i don't think it makes any differnce in the long run. The child will be a sibling no matter what and it seems a shame to put yourself through all the stress of waiting for your original donor. I think siblings are created by shared experinces and memories. I hope that you feel OK anout how things stand at the moment. I guess you are in the lucky position of having a choice....sometimes its easier if there isn't one! 

Nats: Good luck with your little frosties. Hope the 2ww passes really quickly for you. 

Hello everyone else. Just a quick update from me because i've got to pack my hospital bag tonight. We are booked in for a c-section on Wednesday because the baby isn't looking like it will drop by itself. Can't wait to meet it. Wish i had a bit more time to leave more messages but i've got so much to do....including cleaning the house for a MiL visit after the c-section.  

Take Care all of you
Izzy x


----------



## crusoe

Good luck Izzy - will be thinking of you Wednesday!

Love Crusoe
xx


----------



## bluebell

Wow Izzy that's fantastic !  Can't wait to hear all about it. A planned C-section must be really relaxing !  (as opposed to an emergency one!).  I wish you all the very best of luck and looking forward to meeting babe soon.

Lovely to hear from you Crusoe.  Would love an update on your lovely boy.

Bluebell xxxxxxxx


----------



## Skirtgirl

Izzy, how exciting!!! only 1 more day. I hope the section goes well and you are holding your little one really soon.


----------



## nats210

Good luck for tomorrow Izzy how exciting I bet you won't sleep much tonight.

All well here trying to keep my self busy and not think about testing. Nothing except for odd tummy twinges which we all know can be the cyclogest, which this time has given me thrush which is very irritating.

take care all
nats


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## Martha Moo

Izzy

thinking of you today as you welcome your new baby into the world

Cant wait to hear the news

Love Emxx


----------



## bluebell

Been thinking of you loads Izzy.  Can't want to hear the news !
 or  ?? 
Lots of love and luck,
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## bluebell

Have a look at my new thread about Izzy's babe.....
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## nats210

just wanted to share my news.
Had a beta test this morning and BFP! low number so everything crossed it continues, did a HPT as well at lunchtime and could def see 2 lines.
Delighted but feet very firmly on the ground for now going to retest on Monday.
Nats


----------



## Martha Moo

Nats

a quiet congrats

lots of          for the raising hcg levels

Love Emxx


----------



## nats210

Thank you so much girls second beta now 119 so almost trebled. Fingers crossed it continues.
sorry for the short post at work
nats
xx


----------



## karen

Just found this thread - where did it go after June? Or did it just stop??!


----------



## RSMUM

Hello Karen - not really sure what happened to the thread - I know the abroadies bumps and babies thread has picked up again and I guess some of us crossover on to there...some of us who were on this thread are still around, some have gone quiet, some, no doubt, will pop up again from time to time - that's what I love about FF - it's a fab way to keep in touch as and when you can and however is going on with your life..


----------



## bluebell

Hello Karen, please feel free to post on 'Bumps, Babies and Beyond' too, which is a bit quiet sometimes and could do with more people on there !
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## karen

I dont have a bump or a baby though, my dd is 6 years old! Will go and have a look!


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## bluebell

Hello again Karen.  It's bumps, babies and beyond !  Mine is 4 in Feb so doesn't count as a baby either !
Love Bluebell xxx


----------



## Newday

Just want to wish sasha best of luck for this week. It's cold and wet there at the moment I went for Intralipids this morning! But home now
dawn


----------



## Sasha B

Thanks Dawn, I have PM'd you.

Sasha xxx


----------



## Womb with a View

Hi Sasha and Newday.  Just to say all the best for this week and wherever you are on your journey.  Love, WWAV  xxx


----------



## safarigirl

sasha and newday thinking of you both ....... 

good to see this thread again !!!

Bluebell, big hugs to you, just read your thread, big big lump in my throat .... all my love to you and your bump ....


----------



## Izzy x

Sasha and Newday,

Hope everythig goes really well for you both over the next few weeks. Will be keeping everything crossed for you. 

Izzy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## bluebell

Izzy, just seen that little Tom has his 3rd birthday coming up !!  What are your plans for him ?
Bluebell xxx


----------

