# Fostering Part 2



## KarenM

New Home. Good luck girls

* Olive * Approved on 12/6/06, awaiting placement

* Kee * Medicals and references complete. SW visit 4/7/06

* Fiona1* Relocating to start concurrent planning

* Lisam * application accepted, waiting for next steps


Karen x


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## Suzie

woo hoo we are on to part 2  

Thanks for the list karen 
Weird seeing my name on a list! as havent been on an ff list like this for a while 
xx


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## kee888

wow cant belive wer on part 2 lol omg it seems so strange seeing my name on a list too olve lol how is everyone not long now to 4th july n not long for you too olive lol gawd dunt time fly!


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## Suzie

glad to be back online!

Got all our official paper work through, took so long because panel admin was off sick!! and no one took over the work
now just waiting for supporting sw to contact us and we are ready to go 

really just want to get started now but likely to be the end of the summer at the earliest!

any news anyone?

love to all
suzie xx


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## kee888

yay glad to be back a big hello to everyone 

olive glad you got the paperwork back and everything ok we are now well under way with our visits infact looking forward to thursday i have a visit at 930am and then we have one together at 6pm wow busy day and am sure my brain will be mashed by thursday evening!

things seem to be moving at last

we seem to have lost some posts is that right?

hi to everyone how are you all

love and luck kee


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## Suzie

hi kee 

yes some of the last 3 weeks posts have been deleted unfortunately ! but managed to recover most of the rest 

glad things are moving for you, hope thursday goes well for you, keep us updated

love
suzie x


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## kee888

well hello everyone! hows things? very busy here at minute due to neice having accident and our nephew and baby are living with us at minute (family breakup) hope all well cant belive it now were more than half way through our visits doesnt time fly when yer having fun!

olive hows things hun have yer heard anything? hope you all well take care love kee


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## Suzie

hi kee

sounds like you have your hands full at the moment! 

Things here much the same! just waiting!

Off out in a bit to collect all the news childrens bedding etc that we ordered! So childrens things coming into the house this afternoon so gonna seem strange! Hopefully our new sw will be in touch this week about matching for our first placement! 
Think its not gonna be until at least beginning of september , just when dh goes back to school! Ah well just want it to hurry up! Want to get started!

Glad you sw visits are going well! Do  you have panel date yet?

love
suzie x


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## kee888

aww good what type of bedrrom stuff yer gettin theme etc? go bet its so excited? bet the waiting is doing your head in? we got a panel date of the 3rd of nov but they may get us in oct instead depends if they get the report done etc when visits have done!  well will have to g need to put laptop on charge on mains its dying on me catch yer soon lol bye love kee


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## Suzie

Well seeing as we dont know what sex and how many we are getting I have gone for neutral colours , did get pink and blue duvet covers though 

Need to see what ages they are before i get things really as if little ones i will need buggy etc but we shall see

glad you got a panel date 

xxx


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## cindyp

Kee, congratulations on the panel date.

Suzie, not long now, a few more weeks and then sleepless nights, possible nappies, food throwing, enjoy   

Cindy


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## Suzie

gee thanks cindy you have filled me with loads of confidence NOT 

xx[br]: 13/08/06, 23:03sorry moan coming up! 

called placement team this morning from my mums in france as havent heard anything . only to be told they have no supporting social workers at all!! so cant allocate us one! They have advert in job paper this week and once they are recruited we may get one of those  which in reality means we prob wont be getting placement til the end of the year!
So frustrating and i know its no one fault but no one bothered to mention it when we were being assessed or went to panel! 
I was told basically our file is sitting in a cupboard for the forseeable future!  Basically crying out for carers but no sw to support them through placements . Know its no one fault but so annoying as on one mentioned this to us

sorry rant over, just disapointed as gear yourself up to start and feels like you get another hurdle in your way

hope you are all well

love
suzie xx


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## Jo

God how annoying is that !!!
Can't believe that there is a wonderful couple waiting to foster, and so many children needing that caring home and no one there to deal with it !!!

Hope they recruit soon and you are back on track 

Take care Suzie

love Jo
x x x


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## alex28

oh suzie - so sorry to hear your news - you must be fumig indeed my girl - i certainly would be - like Jo said so many kids out their that need you guys and bloody ss short staffed again!!! 

hope they recruit someone soon and you dont have to wait too long. xxx


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## KarenM

Suzie

Sorry to hear your news.  Long term sickness and high turnover is common is social work, you can see why, but even so no excuse not to have the decency to talk to prospective adopters/fosterers and advise them.

Hope they get it sorted soon.

Keep your chin up!
Karen x


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## kee888

suzie spoke to you last night on msn but just wanted to say again you know where i am if you want a scream or shout or whatever i personally know what its like to be without a sw as we are 2 years into the process allready n our panel date is 3rd nov so far oh well maybe we should suggest they do a promotion drive for sw too as well as foster carers cos without them hun we cant get very far! any way hunni keep yer chin up n remember were your friends and were here for you sweetie keep us in touch love ya n take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## cindyp

Suzie, just read your bad news, how frustrating for you.

Unfortunately I think Karen is right, high turnover and sickness seem to be the norm.  

Fingers crossed they can soon get you back on track.

Cindy


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## Suzie

well just got in from france today and there was message from placement team manager , so called him back and dh and i have to go in on tueday to meet his sw team and see if there is someway we can sort things out! 
No idea how they are gonna help the situation but we shall see, we are seeing it as a positive sign that they are trying to come up with a solution 

so good news 

thanks for your messages karen and cindy, Jo and alex 

kee thanks for chat last night 

love
suzie xx


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## kee888

aww good i should think someone has called you hun hope things get sorted for yer both hunni keep us in touch please also as regards the chat am always here for you hunni as we are for each other xxx


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## Suzie

hi 

beds just arrived and have made them up! all seems a bit not real somehow still that we are gonna have little people living with us 

hope everyone is ok

love
suzie xx


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## alex28

hope the bed making was not too stressfull!! hope those little people arrive soon!!

glad to hear SS are at least trying to sort things out.  Hope tuesday goes ok and u have a positive outcome after the meeting.

My SW is back Tuesday so fingers crossed its a positive day for us both. 

xx


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## Suzie

alex -  thoughts for tuesday! 

Hope its a positive day for both of us 

Let us know how it goes !

xx


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## Jo

Enjoy bed making Suzie  
I really hope something good comes out of Tuesday 

You deserve this so much  

Love Jo
x x x


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## wynnster

All the best for tomorrow Suz


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## cindyp

Best wishes for tomorrow Suzie

Cindy


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## Suzie

hiya

quick update of pants meeting i went to! 

basically we are stuck between a team manager who wants more supporting sw's so wont allocate us to one of the existing ones and senior managers not making a desicion as to whether he can have them!

So we are stuck for at least another 2-3 weeks without any decision   and if its a no he cant have the staff then who knows how long we will wait    
feeling very frustrated and disapointed as we are still none the wiser

love to all
suzie x


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## superal

Oh Suzie, it's a no win situation you are in at the moment, your going to be fab FC and as soon as your little ones or big ones move in you'll think back & say well the wait was worth while.

I hope they sort something out soon for you.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## weeble

Oh for Gods sake Suzie, what are they playing at.   It must be so very frustrating for you. You have turned your lives inside out for this, for God knows how long and now they are holding you up again. I really hope things get moving soon for you and you have one or two mischievious little monkeys keeping you on your toes very soon.  
Love
Weebs xx


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## Ceri.

Suz... just wanna ditto what the wise weebs has said, they need to pull their fingers outta their  . Hope you get some noisy little people in your house v v v soon hun!
Ceri XXX


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## Laine

Hi Suzie,

Sorry to hear your news, hope it gets sorted out for you soon.

Laine


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## Suzie

quick update!

we have a sw!!  long story cut short! dh had to see the head of childrens services on school matter this week mentioned our situation! and hey presto the desicion for 2 new sw has been speeded up and we have been allocated a sw and she is coming on thursday 

thanks for your good wishes

love
suzie xx


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## weeble

Whoo hoooooooo fab news lady!!!!!

About blooming time too. pah silly people making ya wait......let me at em.


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## kee888

wayaaaaaayyyyy omg am so glad thinga re finally going to start moving for 2 special people again about blo**y time go girl keep us informed love kee


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## Laine

Great news Suzie....

Laine


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## alex28

im so pleased for you suzie!!!!!!


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## cindyp

About time!!!  Great news Suzie, you deserve it, let's hope she can get you some kiddies asap.

Keep us posted.

Cindy


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## kee888

Hiya olive wishing you all the best with the sw today lets hope you ans dh get some answers you deserve and they fianlly satrt geting some meetings with the kiddies for you good luck keep us informed all my love kee xxxx


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## Suzie

thanks for your wishes guys much appreciated 

Well sw has just been and as of the morning we are on the vacancy list for a placement!  and as soon as a match comes along we get to see case notes and decide if its right for us 

So roll on that match!!

Kee- hows things going with your home assessments?

love to all
suzie xx


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## shearer

Hi Everyone,
I am new here and have been fostering for nearly a year. First we had a 15 year old girl and now we have a perm placement since january - a 10 year old girl, who is a sweetie.

Just out of interest who here is local authority carers and is there anyone IFA? 

Would like to hear experiences to compare the two (we think we been really lucky going with an IFA as some local authorities have had awful track records with their carers).

Look forward to responses (if any!)


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## kee888

Hiya everyone….

Hiya shearer welcome to ff glad to hear you have a wonderful girl who you have fostered where abouts are you from we are in south Yorkshire and we are under the la and I have to say they have been second to non even though they were very slow with the initial process etc etc hope everything ok and looking forward to getting to know you more any questions give us a shout p.s it’s a bit of a quiet board as its not been going that long but we all help each other out and are very pleased for people to always come and join us so welcome once again x

Suzie wow things moving for a you at last im so chuffed for you both did they give an inclination of how long it would be before they start looking etc at a matching?? Do you feel a bit better now you are finally getting some answers and getting some where? Hope you well?

Well bit if news on us had a visit last night and feel some what very deflated to say the least as most of you know we always wanted to go in for care plus and that what we have always wanted to do (the young lad we looked after was care plus on respite) so we had plenty of experience etc etc and with Megan too and all my working history of working with children and young adults the sw dropped it on us last night she does not think at the moment we will be able to meet the criteria for a care plus even though we tick all the boxes etc am so confused and really unsure what to do she has asked us to think about it but would like us to do general foster care for a while first which is ok but then  think to myself well were ok to have the young lad care plus so why not one of our own?? (and the young lad who we had was said by sw fro the la he was the worse kid they had in the borough) there words not ours and they were astounded how we coped!!!!! Confusing to say the least I asked her what the problem was and she felt that dh didn’t have enough experience with children and young adults with complex needs am sort of all over at the minute any one else experienced this or felt like this On a positive note she did say was not ruling care plus out but she had concerns with regards to dh and experience so she suggested maybe doing some volunteer work at youth clubs scouts etc so im currently trying to sort that out, sorry for the moan dh is too deflated but he seems to think that the sw my be testing us to see our reaction with the panel date getting closer?!!!!!! I don’t know but what I do know is that neither of us enjoyed the visit last night as we both feel we have sort of been led up the garden path!? Well one thing we have decided is at the end of the day care plus is what we want to do and we feel we have more that everything to offer so we are still going to try and work through it with the sw and like I say she did not say no full stop so lets hope dh can get as much volunteering in as possible! Oh well down but not out lol

Take care every one sorry for the moan I just feel all over a bit at the min xxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

kee - sorry to hear about you visit! as you say she may be testing you before panel. I would stick to you guns though as its not fair for you to get so close to panel and say that she doesn't think care plus is for you at the moment, The best thing to do is be honest with her and say why she has only just mentioned this to you!! hope it goes ok for you. Big hugs, let me know xx

Shearer - welcome to the fostering thread  
I'm under the local la and although we have had a wait since panel for a placement , they have been quite good. Our assessing social worker was great and we couldn't have hoped for anyone better, she was really good and we felt like she was doing a good job for us to get us through panel. 
Im assuming you are long term approved carers? how long have you had your 15year old for? if you dont mind me asking 

We have had a wait for a first placement but this is down to bureaucracy (spelling!) and we now are in the vacancy list awaiting a suitable match

 kee, keep us updated

love
suzie xx


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## kee888

Nothing much happening here still trying to get dh sorted out with some sessions on the scouts everything seems to be a bit slow but we are still goig to try n go for care plus but dont want it to go against us if you with me? oh well lets hope this comes out in the washer lol

hows things suzie you herad anythin g hunni

take care love kee


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## kee888

morning everyone.....

how is everyone doing gone very quiet on hereno news from anyone??

suzie hows things? any news......

shearer hows you wee girl going any news from you or is it all quiet? hope everyone ok take care love from kee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## naoise

Hi girls I thought I would pop over here from the adoption board as we are going to fostering panel on Thursday, we are doing concurrent planning so we will be fostering for a while first before we adopt. So hopefull if we are approved we will be on here asking for some advice. I will have to read all the past threads to try and catch up on everybody's stories. So hope to be here soon!

LOL K


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## kee888

Hiya naoise well done on your foster panel date keep us informed how you go on heres to panel date for you hun good luck, are you doing la or private hope you are well what age group are you doing etc etc sorry if too many questions tell me to go away if you think im too nosey lol masses of look hoping to get to know you better xxxx


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## Suzie

Welcome naoise to the fostering thread 

 for thursday at panel!  im sure you will be just fine! 

Let us know how you get on 

just yell if you have any questions
love
suzie xx


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## kee888

Hiya olive you heard ought yet hun? hows things

we got another visit tom the first after a slight runi in with sw due to holidays etc over last few weeks feeling very uptight about it hope all goes well im just going to keep cool lol love and hugs to you all xxxxx


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## Suzie

hiya hun

Nope nothing   Hate the waiting! I know its because they are waiting for a good match for us for our first placement but just want to get on with it now 

Hope things ease your end a bit for you , i know it can be really frustrating 

xx


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## kee888

well who would have thought we ever got here tomorow is our final hs before the panel date on 3rd nov im really nervours and normally so bubbly and outgoing but i dont know weather its an off day for me or what but i feel really strange today the only other time we will see sw is to see the report just before panel! sw did a visit with dh last week and never mentioned us not doing the care plus as in the visit previous so i dont really kow whats happening there either oh well will se what tommorow brings and will log on to let you kow! 

hows things suzie?


hello everyone else anything happening in your lives??

love and hugs kee


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## kee888

Hi all quick update visit went really well last night, change of plans though we are going to do general fostering to start with and hopefully build up to care plus i know i said all along that all i wanted to do was care plus but after much deliberation i actually felt relived when we had sorted it out sw is still going to put it all in report etc about care plus and she coes to share the report with us on 1st nov 2 days before panel aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh lol

so the final news is we are going for general fostering short/long term, 1 child aged 5 to 10 yippy de doooodaaaaa lol

love and hugs kee

p.s ive just posted a message was wondering if anyone could have a look to see if they can help out thanks lovlies xxxxx

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=70455.0

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

hiya kee

good news about getting it sorted out  Wont be long now til panel!  

Still waiting here! just want to get started!!! hopefully wont be too much longer 

love 
suzie xx


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## superal

Oh Suzie

I keep logging onto this section hoping that you have heard something & I feel so frustrated for you!! 

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Suzie

andrea bless you 

I  have social worker at 4pm today so are going to find out whats happening 

xx


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## kee888

aww good luck suzie hunni let us know how you go on take care xxxx


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## superal

Suzie - hope the meeting with the SW went well today,hopefully it is some good news, will check in later to find out! 

Love
Andrea
xx


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## alex28

suzie - hope today went ok?  Thinking of you. xx


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## cindyp

Ditto everyone else, hope today went well Suzie.

love
Cindy


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## Suzie

apologises for not logging on til now 

I have news! Sw bought a profile for us to look at  and we will find out on wed afternoon if the child is to move in with us on wed eve!!!!!!!!!  
There is a good chance she will be coming to us so trying to get everything in order, dh and i both in agreeement about taking the placement 

I will tell you more on wed when i hear ! 

thanks for the messages , just want wed to be here !

love
suzie xx


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## saphy75

fantastic news Suzie, i bet your really excited

pam xx


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## superal

Suzie - that is great news, Wednesday will soon be here!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## kee888

aww wow suzie fabdabby news hun cant wait til weds sure it will fly for yer keep us informed all our love kee

p.s im so excite for you bet you are too xx


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## Laine

Fab news Suzie....

Laine xx


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## cindyp

Suzie, that's great news  

Best of luck for tomorrow.

Cindy


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## Jo

Excellent news !!!

Wishing you all the best  

love Jo
x x x


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## Suzie

sorry only just had call 

basically things have developed with the childs situation today and things are going to be going on this evening also so we are still on standby and will be until the weekend for her, so in limbo still ! If not have other profiles to look at next week . 

sorry am just frustrated by it all. the main priority is that the best is done for her 

xxx


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## kee888

aww suzie hun thinking of you if ya need a chat you know where we are im me if you like hun n i can call you if need be hope things work out for you keep us informed xxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

sorry for not logging on sooner things changed on friday afternoon again  

sw rang fri morning to say it def wasnt happening! then she called me again at 1pm to say can she come for the weekend!!! so she arrived and spent the weekend with me ( as dh in madrid   )  

Basically she doesnt need short term care , they just need respite care to give her grandparents some support  but we arent respite carers as they would block our short term beds up so to speak 

So we have had good weekend and she was no trouble expect she is used to getting her own way , not sure she knew what to say when i said no to her  

So sw is going to come see us again when dh is back from soccer school and hopefully have proper short term placement profiles for us to look at and get started properly once and for all

kee- hows things for you? not long now?

love to all
suzie xx


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## kee888

awww glad you had a nice weekend suzie hun how old was the wee girl bet you be glad when sw gets her but into gear and sorts you out with a placment?? 

nope you right not long for me now fianlly got refrence stuff sorted out spoke to sw and i explained that what they were saying were wrong and i just felt as though the ref was a personal vendetta it really upset me grrrrrr anyway i still had the contact details for the manager who i used to work under there so i contacted her and explaiened what they had adone and she did me another ref while i was working under her as she was my boss she was not suprised what they had done appareantly they make a regular thing out of of doing it grrrrrrr b**terds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!! any way did me the ref for last yesterday and she did me a copy too just read it and it is a lovely one too and puts all the right facts there and is lovely but not too goooeeeyyyyy if ya know what i mean? anyway just back frm town and have been in and hand delivered it to sw so fingers crossed now omg cant beliver we are only a week on friday away from panel lol and we have sw coming next week with report that she will put to panel yipppeeeeeeee lol toodle pip for now speak soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

well sw called and we might have her again this weekend , although some things need to be sorted before hand , such as them not taking us off the vacancy list while we have her here over the weekend for respite, because usually a respite placement blocks your short term beds , does that make sense?

they also need to be aware that we arent respite carers and i think her grandma where she lives thinks we are and can take her as and when we can. so social services need to sort them out proper respite care. 

Of course we dont mind taking her but we really want to get started on a proper short term 24/7 placement  and she needs to have a regular respite placment she can be consistant with

ah well will find out later whats happening 

love to all
suzie xx


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## kee888

oh dear suzie you need to be really firm wth them hunni our friends went through exactly the same hun stay strong and stick to your guns keep us informed hunni love ya xxxxxx


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## cindyp

Hi Suzie

I think Kee is right, you need to be firm.  This should be a two way process.

love
Cindy


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## Suzie

thanks for your posts guys 

well this weekend seemed to go well   Had a good time and she really is a lovely little one 

Spoke to her carer who informed me it was the childs sw who said that she should contact us about having her this weekend again  even though she was told we arent respite carers ! 

So am going to have a chat with my sw on tuesday when she is back at work and advise her of this and also her carer advised me she is reall struggling etc and needs some real help so have some things to discuss with sw

Well have had 2 good weekends  and hoping we have a short term match soon 

kee  for panel this week! im sure you will be just fine 

love 
suzie xx


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## kee888

aww suzie glad you had a good couple of weekend hunni b ut i think you have to be firm otherwise it sounds like the childs sw will use you all the time if she knows you will do it xx

omg im so scared for friday but sort of looking forward to it and will be glad when its over lol also looking forward to seeing sw on weds with report etc xx


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## KarenM

Kee - good luck for panel this week, I am sure you will be fine.  Glad to hear the reference got sorted out.

Suzie - hope they get this muddle sorted soon and you can get a short term placement.

Love
Karen x


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## kee888

wayyyyyyaaahhhhhhhhh lol well we got approved im still chuffed went out to celebrate last night a very rare occasion we never go out lol drinking dint get in while after 11 and omg i ws shocking feel so happy think im running on adrenaline today will be back a bit when ive come down or bit or dont you

loads of hugs love kee xxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

have posted on your other thread kee 

fab news about panel  

xx


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## Suzie

just quick update from me 

we have been placed on what they call a retainer for 2 weeks from yesterday for a little boy, i cant go into much detail as the mo but its looking more than likely he will be coming to stay with us for a while. 
i have been able to get some background info so know a bit about the situation and its certainly looks like a bit of a challenge, 
will let you know as soon as i do 

hope you are all well?

love
suzie xx


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## saphy75

Yeahhhh so excited for you suzie hun

pam xx


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## kee888

yeah am so excited for you hunni fingers crossed hope all goes well keep us informed n good luck xxxx bring it on hun xxxxx


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## KarenM

Great news Suzie

Good luck for your little "challenge"

Keep us posted
Karen x


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## Laine

Oh Suzie....can't wait to hear more news from you.


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## Viva

Hi Susie, 
Really pleased to hear of the potential placement in the offing, and looking forward to hearing more news.
Viva
XXX


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## cindyp

Great news Suzie, look forward to reading more.   

Cindy


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## Suzie

hi Emma

The main difference with LA and agency fostering is the money you get paid! Sad to have to say it but agency carers get paid an awful lot more than LA carers. 
My DH and I are LA carers and didn't even consider agency fostering as the children that get placed with agencies are those from the LA who they can not place or have no carers for and that means the council is paying more money to the agency to get the child placed because they don't have enough LA carers etc , hope that makes sense. Also often agency children are the ones that need specialist carers and are considered hard to place. 
It is a personal decision and unfortunately finance does come into it, so you need to look into all areas. You still have to go through the same assessment process and panel with both. 

If you go with your LA and then decide to change to agency you have to do the whole assessment and form F and panel all again. so its something to be aware of. 

We had a good assessment process but have had a bit of a rubbish wait to get started with placements due to our LA recruiting programme being really sucessful and then they werent able to cope with the rush of newly approved carers. 

If you do want to know more, you can ring your LA and local agencies and they should arrange to come and see you to dicuss it more. We had some single carers on our assessment course and they have been approved with no problems 

 and let us know what you decide

love 
suzie x


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## kee888

hiya emma welcome to our thread cant wait to get to know you better xx

all i will say is gl with whatever you choose to go with hun we were tooing and throwing who to go with its such a dilema hun and even now i look and wish we had sometimes gone with an agency grrrrr descisions descisions lol hope you well and feel you chhose the right one for you hun xx

suzie hows things any news

omg im so streesed since we got approved all ive had is a team briefing letter like a newsletter type thing no communications from ss allthough i have rang a few times and every time i ring oh she is in a team meeting leave my name and number asking for a call back and still nothing any one any ideas what we can do??

hope you all well i find it so distressing we sat hee waitning suzie hun i take my hat off to you how long you been waitning too xxxxxx

love and hugs kee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## kee888

morning all .........just had a call from head of fostering who is infact acting head of fostering and used to be our sw when we did respite for the young lad to say did we recive the team brief they sent out etc and how were things and to say they had not forgotten about us etc and that things are always a bit more slower this time of year and they have staff shortages on top of that etc!!!!!!! whats new there then lol

Anyway i voiced my concern over having not signed aggrement etc yet and she reasurred me that even if they got a referal and we were deemed a match we would still be asked to take the child etc and that would be sorted out after and during! 

she then asked me to go to a coffee morning what they are having on the 14th dec for all foster carers and said i wernt sure with us not having a worker and placement etc said i felt as if i shouldnt be there she quashed that staright away and said i must go as evenb so i should have  a worker by then and more than likely a child arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh lol thats the 14th dec 2 weeks away lol!!!!!!!!!!!!

morning everyone xxxxxxxxxxxx

love and hugs kee n pat xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

hiya 

kee - i hope they do match you soon hun   I have given up with sw a long time ago 

I have got placement! he came as an emergency last night with 20 mins notice! so has only the clothes he had on! So lots going on and sw not being much help as to how long he is with us for etc etc !!
so will update you as soon as i know 

Emma - im not sure if you can go out of authority or not , sorry, but im sure that you could still use your la even if you have the legal stuff going on . let us know how you get on

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## kee888

aww wow suzie well done hun wtg how old is the wee lad hope you get some answers lovie keep at them bet yer been shopping today for clothes etc hope all well and he is settling etc and hope you and dh are finding it ok xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

hi kee 

he is 10 ! i picked him up from school and he saw it was me and that he wasnt going home so legged it!!! 

Sw had to go find him at his mums, and he is staying there tonight as isnt on legal care order yet! Red tape 
but he may well be back! i have had a long day 


xx


----------



## Laine

Suzie,

Hope everything works out for you.

Laine


----------



## kee888

aww bless suzie all this red tape does your head i sometimes dunt it grrr but for all the right reasons im sure lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 good luck hope all goes where and shout if i can do anythinbg for you sweetie weather you wana scream cry or shout at me i dont mind thats what freinds are for xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## saphy75

Suzie hope everything has settled down hun, just remember it won't always be like that 

pam xx


----------



## pi30

Hi guys
Sorry to but in but think that you can help me with a query.

I am having ivf over the next year or so- but would also like to consider fostering. Do you think that la's would consider me inappropriate due to me still having treatment.

Cheers guys
Pi


----------



## Suzie

hiya

pi30 our la wouldnt take us on if we were still have treatment, they wont allow you to be having tx while doing the assessment. i have it on hold until march when i have IUI 
I'm not sure if all the local authorities are like this , might be worth giving them a call to have a chat about it. 

I didnt tell them i have treatment on hold , i used my words carefully such as we are having a long break from it etc 

xxx


----------



## kee888

pi30  we were the same as olive n they said they would like us to go probably 5 years but if it happens it happens hun we will have to cross that bridge when we come to it xxxxx ring them you never knbow may be worth a try xxxx


----------



## pi30

Thanks Olive and Kee,

...............5 years...oh my gosh- is this before you would be accepted to adopt or foster after tx. Surely that cant be right

Love Pi  x


----------



## kee888

once we started fostering they would like us to wait 5 years but could be different in each area? good luck xxxxxxxxx


----------



## kee888

hello everyone.......

well some good news on our fostering front we went to a coffe morning yesterday for a cuppa mainly to see if i could get any answers as to what was happening and while there we got assigned a sw yipppeeeeee and we got the contact book, specific incident book, diary and the foster carers handbook wow what a productive day we also talked to a few foster carers who were great too i feel so much easier now and so does patrick allthough we wont be having our 1st meeting until after xmas and new year as our sw goes in hosp for a small op this week but he said it wont stop us having a placement placed with us beforehand.....................

from one very happy keeley n patrick xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hows everyone else any news


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Viva

That's great news Kee, 
Sounds like you're in for a busy New Year!
Love Viva


----------



## Suzie

Pi - our LA has no time limit on how long you have to have stopped tx before applying to foster, they just like to basically make sure you are having tx while doing the assessment as it would be a waste of their time is tx was successful and you stopped the assessment half way through 

kee - fab news ! Wont be long now!  Its exciting isnt it when you get new things 

Well we are on the emergency foster rota over the holidays and apparently is a busy time sadly. Also we are having the little girl for a week or so after christmas who we have had before as she wants to come back and refused to go to the respite carers she was offered! 

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## Suzie

Just popping by to wish you all a merry christmas 

We now have no SW until feb! due to ours going back to the recruiting team! We are under the care of the team manager so we shall see 

May be having the little girl next week for a weeks respite as she has asked if she can come back 

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## Suzie

hiya 

hope you all had a good christmas? 

I have emergency placement this eve , 11 yr old chappie. been here for couple of hours. will let you know how it goes 

anyone got any news?

xx


----------



## cindyp

Suzie, hope things are going well with the "chappie".

You must be pleased that the little girl asked to come back to you, that is such a positive endorsement.

love
Cindy


----------



## Suzie

thanks for your message cindy 

quick update - chappie is here! where do i start   Long story short! Basically been abandoned and thinks he is going home in couple of days   but ss want him out of his home area which is us basically! 
He has said he likes it here but it isnt home and its weird as doesnt have any friends near by, which must be awful for him
Think we have managed to come to some kind of understanding about having to stay with us for at least a few days while we try and sort things out for him. Have a feeling he might be here a while but he is 12 in feb and we are only approved birth to 11 so no idea what happens then, we shall see!

hope everyone is ok?

suzie xx

p.s anyone know anything about rap music or what the word Phat means


----------



## superal

Good luck Suzie with this chappie you are looking after............I still do not know what rap music is and what the word phat means & I have a boy of nearly 14!!

Let me know if you find out!!  

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## maryclarey

Hi all ! Wondering whether I could join your thread!  Haven't properly posted before and haven't yet listed myself in the intro bit but will do in the next couple of days when I get my head around the site! 
Been looking at the site and found your thread! 
It's a long story but dh and I have been ttc for 3 years and have been fostering for 6 years! Strange I know!   We have had many children pass through our doors but currently have three children living with us (all between 12 - 15 ). It would be great to get to know you all , fostering is a roller coaster in itself!!! We are just starting our first cycle of iui so hope to be on the message board a bit more now.
Bye for now
Maryclareyx


----------



## Suzie

Welcome to the fostering thread maryclarey 

Wow you are brave have 3 teenagers !!   

I have one 11yr old at the mo and its interesting to say the least 

I am also starting treatment again soon so look forward to chatting to you 

love
suzie xx


----------



## maryclarey

Thanks for your message Susie 

Hope it's going well with your chappie - you never know how long they are going to stay with you.
We were originally approved as short term, respite and emergency carers and for children aged between 5 and 12!! One of our children came for two nights respite 18 months ago and has stayed ever since!  Another came for 3 months and stayed five years    Madness! Also had a baby and a 17 year old so they've never really stuck with what we were approved for! Good for the children though - they all so desperately need some stability in their lives. What they go through is so unfair!
Been reading the other posts on here and it will be nice to chat with you all. I can say that I have experienced the rap music several times including young people bringing their own equipment and setting up in the conservatory!!! Interesting!!!!
Will try and get my head around more personals soon.
Love MaryClareyx


----------



## Suzie

blimey maryclarey you sound like you have had them all 

Things are going ok , he was told yesterday that he wont be going home for a while, they told him he should be here 3 months max but we shall see!  Have his full planning meeting on monday as his actual case worker is on hols until then! 

He isnt responding too well to me at the moment being a women as he feels mum has abandoned him and he he getting on better with my dh but just have to ride with it! 

love
suzie xx


----------



## kee888

hiya all just a quickie has ion way to see brother at hosp wnated to wish you all a happy new year and hope all your dreams and wishes come true, gosh well done on getting the young chappie sweetheart hope all is well? if you every need a chat you know where i am xxxxx

maryclarey welcome to our thread we are awaiting our 1st placement we got approved in nov last year we have our sw coming to see us next weds so fingers crossedxxxx

well done on all the children you have fostered i may call on you for some advice ione day we have been approved short term 5 to 10 but tlike you say how long is a peice of string lol

looking forward to getting to know you better its so queit on here at the minute where is everyone?

love kee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## kee888

hiya suzie hun mwah xxxx

hope he stars to get on with you sweetie but like we say suppose its understandable specially as if he feels like he has been abbonded bless, does he talk to dh? hope he starts warming to you hunni xxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


that feels better   

xx


----------



## kee888

suzie everything ok sweetie ?? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Hi Girls

Suzie, unfortunately 11 is the new 14 and those terrible hormones kick in real early these days.  I remember my neice turning into Jekyl and Hyde at that age.  It's a shame that he prefers DH to you.  I know from experience how discouraging that can be as my DS was like that when he was placed with us.  I don't think it's just a negative experience with women but also because if your household is like ours you are at home more of the time and more likely to be the one laying down the ground rules which some kids take affront to.  I know my strong willed son often does  

By the way I'm not totally up with rap music (although I will admit to having an Eminem CD) but I believe "phat" means "good/great".  Who knows give it a few weeks and you might be denoted "Phat"    

Best of luck

Cindy

PS, when are you starting your tx?


----------



## Suzie

Hi

thanks for your messages 

Cindy i think you are right as my sister said the same thing about me being the one that lays down the rules! dh is seen as the one who goes to footy and gym etc with him. Trouble is he has grown up far too quickly due to the area he lives in. 
We have meeting with the head at the local school in the morning so hoping he can start there on tuesday, the trouble is that he is year 7 and started high school in sept but in our area year 7 is still at middle school! so he is not too happy about having to go back down to middle school , understandably. I am hoping when we get some routine and i get my days back with him at school i can get back to sorting myself out! 
Also as he is out of his area ho has no friends so is "bored" 24/7 

thanks again for your messages

love
suzie x


----------



## Liz_Wales

Olive(Suzie) said:


> p.s anyone know anything about rap music or what the word Phat means


PHAT = Pretty Hot And Tasty.


----------



## Suzie

woo hoo  thanks Lizzy!  

xx


----------



## maryclarey

Hi all - hope you are all ok!  
Kee - just wanted to wish you luck with your sw tomorrow (I think its then anyway!) I hope they have some good news for you!   Are you fostering with a private agency or with the LA?
Susie - how's your chappie - have you managed to get him into a school yet? Sounds a bit of a bummer for him to go back to middle school - but actually might be easier for him to make friends in a smaller school and when they are still in one class. How did the meeting go today?
We had a new case worker visit us this morning (the last one left in Oct!) took us two hours to fill her in with our three children! So much to say! Think she is now pretty scared about meeting them       I'm always the one saying  case workers should spend more time with the kids than us !! They would get to know them so much better!
Anyway hope you all had a good weekend. We start treatment on Thursday at 8am so my mum is coming to get all our kids to school - could be interesting!   
Take care
Maryclareyx


----------



## kee888

hiya maryclarey hun ty for the good luck its tom the sw comes but thanks you very much for the good wishes i shall keep you informed dh looking forward to meeting him too as he has not met him yet! mind you i only have met him once for 5 mins lol, hoping they have some good news!

loadsa luck on thursday wi the tx starting this is going to be the year for a quiet a few of us im sure i can feel it in my water lol, what children have you got now for fostering hun if you dont mind me asking? we are under the la what are you under? hope you all well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

suzie everything ok sweetherat any news
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

quick post as someone from the subsatance misbuse team should be here in a mo  and we are having a paddy! K not me 

have my suspicions he has adhd and sw thinks he needs to be assessed so we shall see 

Kee -goodluck for sw visit 

Maryclarey - you had any with adhd? 

xx


----------



## kee888

hiya hun ty for the good luck hope you get something sorted today with the substance mnissuse team keep us informed hun good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## maryclarey

Hi guys - hope you are OK!  
Kee - we have three children at the moment - although it looks like they will all be staying with us! One of them came five years ago it was going really well so we decided to ask for another placement. We had quite a few placements that stayed for approx 1 year, including asylum seekers (v.interesting!!!  ) then our boy came as a long term placement. We thought we were then settled but accepted a two night emergency respite placement who has stayed so now we have the three. We are blessed as all three have managed to stay in mainstream secondary schools so for the first time we have had none at home due to exclusions!    So we have two girls 15 + 13 and a very excitable boy of 12 !! Although none of them are at that level of maturity as you often find with children who have had traumatic experiences. You can often find all three of ours playing imaginative games together that you would expect 7/8 year olds to be playing. They all have a love/hate relationship and unfortunately sometimes the old saying is true that three is a crowd! There is certainly never a dull moment in our house! It can be hard though when you are dealing with three very different social workers and families. There is triple the meetings and contacts!  
Sorry I got the day wrong for your sw visit - hope tomorrow goes well - let us know!  

Suzie - we've had one boy with adhd but he didn't take medication. I always find it hard with these children to work out whether the behaviour they are displaying is that of adhd that medication would help or rather just the result of what they have experienced or witnessed or still experiencing. We've had another placement that showed all the signs of adhd and never seemed to 'stop' but it was because if he did 'stop' it meant that he would have to think about the reality of his situation and what was happening to him. Difficult one .......... Let us know what happens .....

Off to gym now - trying to follow weight watchers diet at mo' hope to shed a few pounds there tonight!!!!!!
Take care 
Maryclarey x


----------



## Suzie

maryclarey said:


> ! There is certainly never a dull moment in our house! It can be hard though when you are dealing with three very different social workers and families. There is triple the meetings and contacts!
> Maryclarey x


Blimey , my hats off to you woman! its bad enough with one lot let alone 3!!!!

xx


----------



## casey

Hi girls - hope you don't mind me jumping in but wanted to offer my services if you wanted them - I am a children and families s/w in a child protection/assessment team. I do all the 'organising' of placement, contact, paperwork, meetings, setting up support from other agecies, court work etc. if i can give any advice or info from' the other side' then i'd be glad to do so 

suzie - ADHD is a tough one - will it be CAMHS who will assess him ?

bye for now caseyxx


----------



## Suzie

hi casey , we will never let you leave now you have told us what job you do 

i have a question for you already if thats ok?  We have planning meeting on friday , first we have meeting at school then we have planning meeting, as k is on a section 20 at the mo his mum is coming to the school meeting with sw ( not seeing k though) and they want to have the planning meeting with us at my house but with mum attending! 

I dont want to sound unreasonable but i dont want her coming into my house, not because i have anything against her but it is my space and i do not want her knowing where we live. Is this me being unreasonable?

love
suzie x


----------



## maryclarey

Hi Susie - just popped on quickly and saw your post! I will be interested to hear what Casey has to say regarding your query but I thought I'd let you know that dh and I have always made it a rule that natural parents do not come into our house. I don't think you are being unreasonable AT ALL. I have always maintained that our house is a safe haven for the children - once they see their parents there in that environment it is hard to erase the image. I know K will not be there but even still v. hard for you. I would suggest asking the school whether you could stay a little longer to carry on with the meeting there - its a mutual ground and as a teacher myself I know my school would allow this to happen. Its seems silly if you are already there to then move to your house ?!? Strange. It doesn't mean that the school reps have to stay just to use their room. I would speak to your sw about being uncomfortable at home. There should be many other meeting places that ss would use rather than the foster carers home.
Let me know how you go and we will see what Casey has to say!!
Kee - been thinking of you how did it go?
Love Maryclareyx


----------



## Suzie

hi 
thanks for your message maryclarey !

Basically there is a contact centre in the city which is about 30 mins away from school/our house. thing is that the sw and k's mum are travelling an hour to come to the school and while we are there k's support worker is looking after k for a couple of hours so by the time we have school meeting then travel to contact centre and back again to my house to be here for k getting back then we aren't going to get much time to have the planning meeting if we have travelling time to the contact centre. 
Blimey does that make sense? 

I am going to ring sw and see if school will allow us to have it there 

xx


----------



## Suzie

just spoke to sw who understood my concerns over having k's mum in my house, she told me that she thinks mum isnt coming now !   her and K had a heated conversation on the phone last night so might have something to do with that    and if she does decide to come then we will have meeting at school 

xx


----------



## kee888

gosh you all been busy today lol!!!!!!!!

hiya everyone suzy you are in your own rights to feel uncomfortable hun i know our local la have always said its up to each individual but im like you i think the child needs the secuirty to and im im not that ke on contact taking place our home too sweetie hope it does sort out and that if k mum does come then you do have it at the school xxxxx


maryclarey omg just 6 words take my hat off to you, you are a 100% inspiration to any one hun wel done hope all is well in your busy household! how did the gym go?? hows the weight wathers going too i keep saying i must do something about my weight too and dh!!!!!!!!!! lol

wow casey where do we start lol! thansk for the offer as suzy says we will def use you in a nice way mwah for the offer we dont have a placement at the minute but im sure i will be asking you questions if thats not a problem

meeting today went ok getting on well with sw and finally signed the agreemnt between us n ss, he also says he is the only sw working at the minute will that ever change all the others are off sick in hospital or on hols! but he did say he will be going back to office to discuss placement for us he was here over 2 hours so we will se what happens!!!! allthough we dont hold our breath sorry to sound negative mwah


hugs and love to you all speak soon take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

kee - i know that it can be frustrating the wait between being approved and getting the placement, ours felt like ages ! but when it happens! boy will you know about it 

hope they get things sorted for you quickly 

love to all

xx


----------



## casey

Hi ladies 
sorry had a v busy day yesterday and didn't log on to FF 

Suzie -I think you are being very reasonable not to allow meetings in your home. 
I wouldm't have them in my home either   Your home is your private space and as a foster carer it is very important to have boundaries in place.. S/W's are always pushed for time ( and always late  ) and they will try to solve this problem in whatever way they can in order to get the job done. BUT that is their problem not yours ! The fact that K is on a sec 20 doesn't make all that much difference his mother may still be difficult - and even if she isn't you will still want some distance and boundaries in place so you can do your job which is foucsing upon and taking care of K. Personally i think the s/w was pushing it a bit !

Kee - they will be waiting for a placement with a child who does not have complex problems so as not to put you off completely first time round - don't worry you wil get your first placement  soon My LA is crying out for foster carers. good luck

Hi mary - wow you sound like a very busy woman   good luck with tx 

annyway bye for now 
caseyxx


----------



## kee888

thanks casey n thanks suzy hun all i do is think of you when i think how long we have been waiting for a placement lol hope they get it sorted soon feel so useless ben at home doing nothing in the way of fostering! xxxxx

casey our local la is creaming out for foster carers too but dont seem to follow them through once they have done the preo course etc i know they are very busy but its so frustrating lol as for waitning for a child with not so complex needs to cut a long story short we had young lad whom social services called there worse child on there boooks and that was from the head of ss too we did respite for him 3 times a week and he had very complex needs and reactive attachment dissorder and lots of other things bless him he was our friends placement and was care plus and we were approved respite carers through our local la while going through the approval process, hope this makes sence?

hope you all well today all my love kee xxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

morning 

Kee -our LA is the same! In the team managers words the recruiting process has been too successful and they dont have enough supporting sw to deal with all the new carers! At the moment we still dont have one. We have one of the team managers overseeing this placement. 

thanks for your advice Casey, we are definately not having the planning meeting here now, we are 2.5 weeks into the placement and this is first proper planning meeting    so hopefully will know what i am doing 

xx


----------



## kee888

morning suzie hun mwah hope all is well in your household today xxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

hi kee 

well we just had our first in public attitude !!  I'm laughing now but i wasnt then! 

Suffice to say he lost the battle of the words and he was the one to say sorry!  

He struggles with a female saying no to him or asking him to do something etc! Thinks we are all a soft touch! well he has come to the wrong house if he thinks that is the case 

No rap music today! Yey  

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## kee888

rofl omg suzie my side hurt reading your message sweetie good on yer for handeling and sticking to what you said im so chuffed for yer mwah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Good on your Suzie for sticking to your guns.  Toddlers, teenagers they are all the same, tantrums if they can't get their own way.

It's quite a positive thing that he said sorry.  Sounds like you're getting him well trained.

Keep up the good work.

Cindy


----------



## Suzie

quick update 

Had meeting yesterday with school and social serivces lasted 5 hrs! Nearly ended up   one woman from education dept who has never even met K ! stupid woman! I made her ring her boss there and then and get authorisation for the support K needs!!  

He is not starting school until wed as they cant start support until then so i have another few days of 24/7 struggle    He is with us until at least easter it looks like at the mo.  Mum doesnt feel she can have contact yet! as feels low! try telling that to an 11yr old! 

hope you are all well?

love
suzie xx


----------



## casey

Oh suzie welcome to the world of social work - That meeting sounfslike an absolute nightmare 5 HOURS   i am in constant battle with education and other agencies and as for some parents well the words 'me me me' spring to mind - good on you for fighting for k like that ! I know that your 24/7 struggle is very hard at the moment but what you are doing is showing K that there are some adults prepared to care for him and put his needs first - and its right now that he needs this the most hang in there it will gets easier as he starts to trust you and all this hard work and aggro will be worth it !
love caseyxx


----------



## kee888

aww suzie hope ya pok after yer mamoth meeting hun take care we are fine or should i say im fine nw im back on ff got booted off due to changing my email and could not get back on omg i thought id lost my legs and arms during the time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hope evereyone else ok  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

casey on the sw from the education part of the panel did not approve me and dh but they were the only ones that didnt god knows why the only reson i can think is she used to be my old headteacher at highschool where i was bullied and she was the one who i turned to and she basically told me to get on wit it, i think it had somat to do with that but they were outnumbered by the rest of the panel too lol hope you all well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

Thanks for your reassurance Casey much appreciated 

Today his support worker took him out while i had dr appointment so had morning to myself and boy did i need that! 
Good news that sw rang and they have upped our level to 3 and now asking for 4 due to nature of K's issues etc. and at our year panel reapproval in may they are putting recommendation for specialist foster level as they say we wont get any placement with any other needs or the amount of needs worse than K has. So thats something positive.
He starts school on wed and only one more day ! he needs to go also as needs to get back into the routine 

Kee - any news?

love to all
suzie x


----------



## Suzie

Quiet on here  


Well K started school this morning and he was really tearful when i left him ( not so much the big hard man now  ) Found myself welling up as must be hard for him at his age, everything even the area he is in is all new to him 
Really hoping he will be fine . well haven't had a phone call yet so  

everyone ok?

love
suzie xx


----------



## superal

Just wanted to say what a fantastic job you are doing Suzie!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## kee888

uh still no news here only to say i have not got a laptop at the minute i had an acident with with red wine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! need i say anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 so the only pc we have at the minute is megans so may not be around as much until i sort it!

olive yer doing a fandabbydoobly job hun hope k day went ok at school and you manahgd to hold them tears back etc hope all is well in your household speak soon love kee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Viva

Just wanted to say that I think you girls are amazing...Olive how did K's first day at school go?
Viva
XXX


----------



## Suzie

hi Viva thanks for your message 

K's first day was stressful as you can imagine! But he got through it so that was good  
He got upset last night as all got a bit too much for him so had rant and cry   about life not being fair etc but today is home from school in a better mood so hoping it continues 

Kee- what a pain about your laptop! hope it gets fixed soon hun!

I am all spotty! think its the stress   

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## saphy75

suzie sounds like you are doing a great job hun   i am planning to be a foster carer when chunk has grown up (and any siblings he may have) it must be very rewarding work, keep struggling on  

pam xx


----------



## Suzie

Hiya

kee - any news?

thanks pam for your post 

Well we had K's 4 week review last night. I think i will say it was complete mess and leave it at that  Basically k's mum was brought by his sw and we or K did not know this. as first contact is planned for this friday!! So as you can imagine we spent last night trying to calm a distraught 11yr old   . 

He is now 99% that he is going to be with us until the end of the school year in July and then either going back home or into long term care   but that is the maximum he is with us. So at least we have some sense of direction

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## kee888

hiya hun no news grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh dear sound like you had fun at the review not! what a thing to do when he got his first contact bless him, sure you managed well calming him down your a star hun well done hope you all well ans k has calmed down, nice to know at least he has accepted he is going to be with you for some time thats gota be progress hun well done xxxx

heres to many more reviws and hope they get better for you, good luck for fri hope th contact goes well on froiday for k.

speak soo love and hugs keeley xx


----------



## cindyp

Suzie, it sounds like you are doing a good job under difficult circumstances.  I'm sure sometimes the Social Workers make things harder than they should be    Keep up the good work as much as you can.

Kee, sounds like you are still dealing with the frustration too.  Best of luck

Cindy


----------



## casey

Hi all

suzie - the review sounds awful - did the s/w know K would be there - if so then they should have spoken to him before hand or at the very least let you know his mum would be there so you could discuss whether it ws advisable for K to attend. The review meetings are supposed to be child centred ( NOT IMO) that's why children are invited but i have often asked F/c's not to bring child if i think it will be too upsetting or the content of the meeting is not appropriate for them. I'D bring this up at the next planning meeting so your views about what happened are minuted. 

One more thing your next review is April and then OCt - although they say K will be with you until july  and then move on (July/Aug)  his case will need to go to permance planning etc for him to be in long term f/c and his mother will have to give permission. I don't know about your LA but in mine it is very rare for a child on S20 to go to long term f/c, the plan is usually rehabilitaion or plac ed with family members . I'd keep asking for as much clarification as possible - and hang in there you're doing a great job   

Kee - hope you hear something soon 

caseyxx


----------



## Suzie

hiya

thanks for your messages 

Casey - although he is on a S20 at present , it is looking likely that he is going to become a s45 due to lots of reasons.   He can not be placed with family members as there aren't any. So think they may be aiming for long term planning.  But will keep clarifying 

It was agreed at the first planning meeting that K would be attending as he is old enough and realises what is happening to him and his sw knew this, so was agreed that his mum wouldnt be attending and she has agreed to this. We got it minuted at the meeting by the independant reviewer  

thanks for your post, is really helpful 

Sorry you had mixed emotions about your prep course, stick with it and remember its a means to an end 


xx


----------



## casey

suzie - sorry i've never heard of s45 ? but s47 is child protection -if K goes to long term he will probably need to be on an interim care order ( s3 and then full care order ( s31) so the LA has P.R, Te court can take a bout 10 months 

thanks re prep course i think itwas all stuff on grief and loss was very heavy going and obviously i'm going to have more mixed feelings and different experiences than other people - the second day was easier 9 3except for the debate on smacking ! oh well u say its a means to an end   
caseyxx


----------



## Suzie

hiya

I will have to clarify with them about S45 as thats what they called it  And also the max he is def with us is july so at Easter meeting will have to ask these questions  Really helpful to know thanks 

Goodluck with rest of prep !

xx


----------



## Suzie

mornin

any news Kee ?  

Well K had contact with mum on friday eve and went ok.    Much as expected really

Sky has gone wrong and they cant come until wednesday to fix it !!! and I am quite possibly going to go   without even time to go to the toilet before K asks/wants something! 

Have education meeting tomorrow so we shall see how he is getting on at school. Well he has managed more days than he did the whole of term at his last school!!    

His birthday is on Sunday so got to go shopping 

love to all
suzie x


----------



## kee888

HIya hun good luck with the shopping and the meeting tom, hope you get sky mended soon ours went the other week and i rang them and they came and replaced the box on the day the 12 month guarantee run out think the engineer said there were 5 mins left on the gaurantee when he had finished!!!!! phew least we got another 3 months noe incase ought goes worong wi this one  

could do with a bit of advice please people im really fed up of waiting and our lives mine more than anything have now been put on hold for 2 years and i want something to do, i tried to get ion touch with the findraising people to help them but they never ring me to go to any of meetings etc so am still waitning i feel like ringing them and asking them to take us off book i really really dont wnat to do this but WE WANT A PLACEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry i feel really balled off today and want to ring them but what am i ringing for sw was meant to ring me last week with some phone numbers for emergency helpline etc but hey ho it never happened n my question to myself was well wat would i friggin want them for!!!!!!!!!!!!!

any way people any ideas what i can ring and say n how can i word it without begging   

i juat want to get things moving and get a placement!

AM I NORMAL im not sure at the minute??

love and hugs xxxxxxxxx


----------



## casey

Kee - Of course you are normal- 2 years out of your life and now sitting there just waiting is not fair, and whilst on the whole 2 years is along time, i notice you have been approved for 3 months ? so i would imagine you would hear something very soon.

I am not sure how it works for foster cares but if you are kept waiting for a few more weeks then what about ringing other LA's and VA's for a chat to see what their position is re accepting approved carers from another LA and issue of placements. once you have this info you could discuss with 1st LA and let them know that ypu are considering moving on due to the delay. i should imagine they would not want to lose a foster carer.

Maybe to begin with the only way i guess is to be very direct and ask HOW LONG WILL It BE ? and say that you are not prepared to be put on hold for much longer as it is so frustrating for you both. The adoption & Fostering team will have a list of placement requests to be discussed by placement panel and also a list of foster carer vacancies which will include your names. Maybe you could ask about numbers of children waiting for placements and ask about theri circumstances and enquire if you have been considered and if not, then why not ? One final option is to ask about respite in the interim period if there are no children waiting for aplacement ( unlikely !! but maybe this is the case for your LA). 

hope you get some results soon 
caseyxx


----------



## kee888

thaniks casey you have given me some good positive things to do there hun, i have asked the direct question how long will it be every time i speak to themand all i get is we will have a look!

we have considered calling a few private agencys to see what they say but i keep getting told we have to go through the whole approval process again! and im sorry i am not willing to do that! or we are not willing anyway! it just annoys me that they begged us to do the prep course and they did what they called rushed us through the process and that took two years mmmmmmmm my mind boggles if we had not been rushed through where we would be!

i am going to get in a better frame of mind and ring my sw 1st thing in the morning!

i will keep you informed but thanks for the advice if i dont get anywhere tomorow i will certainbly be looking at our options!

thanks again hun i feel loy better now xxxxx


----------



## Suzie

hiya 

Kee - we had the most frustrating time waiting for a placement. We were approved in June and have only got our first real placement at end of December. So had to keep pushing them. stick with it hun I know it can be frrustrating ! hang in there

Well K managed to get himself suspended yesterday for three days! pushed a child who said something that wasnt very nice about K's parents. Have his education review today so all the good he has gone is going to be overshadowed by yesterdays incident.

I have made him do school work today so he wishes he was back at school  


xx


----------



## kee888

oh dear suzie what are they like eh lol im sure he will be back at school soon?? hope all is well??

thanks for telling me to stick with it hun, its so so so frustrating and i know you know as you went through the same hun mwah xxx

well rang and spoke to sw today and asked what was the situation etc and how long we were going to be and the reply i got was we are at the sae place as we were when you were approved basically still waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh not what i wnated to hear!

im going to bingo tonight to chill out and im going to have  aserious rehthink tommoorw and either ring some other local authoritys we are on the border of south yorkshire and west yorkshire so going to call them 1st i think and im also going to call a couple of private agencys but im not sure if we will have to go through the whole process again?? anyone know?

oh well love and hugs from a very pis**d off keeley xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

Kee - if you transfer to an agency then they make you do the form f all again and you have to go to panel etc which is something we didnt want to do. Best to ring a couple of agencies in your area and see what they say. 

Well review got heated !  This woman from education dept is a stupid mare! The school say they need 25 hours of support for K and that will keep him in education basically and as we dont live in a deprived area there is no funding! the school are basically paying out of there little budget they do have for 10 extra hours a week but need more to keep him focused and out of trouble! So i asked this woman who was the person who can give me the money for the support and she danced around the issue and basically was a waste of space so I laid it on the line for her and told her exactly how K is going to end up if he gets kicked out of education because of a failing on education and ss ! and on her conscience be it   

So bottom line is we need to get him to at least half term if he stands any chance of surviving in mainstream education , which is looking like dh going in on his half day from school and me going in to support! Needs must and I am dammed if this kid is going to fail due to being let down by ed and ss depts!

sorry rambled on 

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## KarenM

Olive

Sounds like you are doing a great job with K.  Hope you get the education sorted out.

Good luck
Karen x


----------



## casey

Suzie - is K statemented ?- if so it will stipulate the level of support he requires and it is then a legal duty for education dept to provide this, if this is insufficient then then it will be reviewed yearly and should be updated in line with changes in his circumstances,

If not then maybe the s/w and school should be pushing for this and it can be done on the grounds of emotional behavioural difficulties as well as learning diasbility 
(you don't need both) The school initiates the process with contributions from relevant agencies - it should be discussed at the next LAC review too  

Kee - good luck hope things srtart mioving for you soon !

good luck 
caseyx -


----------



## Suzie

Casey - the problem is K isn't statemented!!! and thats the big headache! as you prob know this takes about a year to get completed! and we dont have that long!   The school is pushing the ed dept all the time but still isnt getting any answers! I have been on the phone this morning trying to pin down the person who can give me a signature for funding! Drew is also speaking to the head of childrens services today about another matter at his school so is going to drop it in conversation!  as last time he spoke to her about getting us a sw , we had one within a week. 

His sw announced yesterday she has transfered the case to family placement team and as of today we have no idea who his new sw is! and where they are going to be based!
A big headache is that K is from a different area to where we live so are dealing with 2 teams! 

Today he is struggling as I am still making him work. and off to drews mums after lunch who is a retired primary teacher to do some more school work ! 

love to all
suzie


----------



## cindyp

Suzie, sounds like you're having real battles with this.  I admire your stamina.  K is lucky to have foster parents as determined as you.

Hope things get easier.

Cindy


----------



## Suzie

thanks for your post cindy 

ummm by the way did i mention we are never taking another placement out of our approved age range ever ever again   

xx


----------



## Dieselbabe

Hi Guys

We are due another ICSI in March/April, this will be our last and, whatever the outcome I definitely want to look at short term foster care so have been reading all your posts.

I just wanted to say; 

Keeley, I hope you get your placement soon.

Suzie, you're amazing, you are doing such a fantastic job with K, thank you so much for sharing your experiences.  You are definitely 'Phat'

Mary/Clarey, what would we do without people like you, fantastic.

Casey, I hope you are still around when I come to need some advice.

The best of luck to all of you.

Lots of love

Mandy xxx


----------



## Suzie

hi mandy   Welcome to the Suzie Jan stressing thread  

 for you next cycle 

Feel free to lurk around and post, you will get some great advice 

xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

we are having a chat night this tue if you ladies would like to join us

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=83649.msg1137382#msg1137382

please let me know as then i have let you know the details to get in as you will need an extra password (Suzie i know you dont need one to get in!!!)

hugs

Mez
xx


----------



## Suzie

hi MJ thanks for the link . was K's bithday yesterday so were a bit busy 

Hi to everyone? any news? 

K was 12 yesterday! met his mum and sis for lunch so bit of a mixed emotion day for him. hoping he gets on ok at school today, need to get him through to half term on friday 

love to all
suzie x


----------



## Suzie

Well we got him to half term  

They have agreed funding for the support he needs at school and it starts after half term ! 

Hope everyone is well?

xx


----------



## kee888

aww wow suzy thats brilliant yer got the rusult then bout the funding way to go hun im so proud oif yer yer doing a brill job, well done on k getting to half term too thats brill news too xx

still no news here apart from im on a serious downer at the minute for one reason and another and yep yer got it still no placement allthough megan not well today either she on settee and ant  moved since she got upo keeps going to sleep but they say sleep is the best medicine too lol speak soon hope eberyone well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

Kee - sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down hun  It is so frustrating waiting. I was ready to jack it all in at one point as you feel your life is in limbo and can't plan anything just incase you get the call. I do understand hun . hang in there!

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## g.s

Hello There!

I don't know if I'm in the right place really. Myself and lovely DH have been lucky enough to be approved Respite Fosterers. We look after 1 severely autistic boy for 1 weekend every month, and also 1 severely autistic & downs boy for day care.

We have been doing this for over 2 years and love it, love it, love it!

Is there anyone else out there working with Autistic Children?
Am I in the right place?


----------



## Suzie

Hi GS

You certainly are in the right place 

Sounds like you have your hands full with your respite care 

Just had a "discussion" with K who can't take responsibility for anything he has done! even swears black is blue when it cant have been anyone but him! 

hope everyone is well?

love
suzie x


----------



## kee888

g.s sound like you got yer hand full sweetie?? lol hope evrything ok and a very big welsome to our thread looking forward to getting to know you hun xxxx

suzie hows things hun, sound like the chat was good with k?? we had the same chat with m when we looked after him for respite and he was the only person in the house and myself when my suite got slashed and it was not him lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bit of good news here but not on the fostering lol, had a good chat with barnsley choices today the childminding people, i stopped childminding when we started looking into fostering a i was told you could not comibine the both so i decided to put all my time and effrt into fostering but have since found out i could have carried on got  a few checks to do but should be up and running soon only slight glitch is i an only have 5 children as i have to leave a space for the foster child if that makes sence they said i should be up and running in the next 2 to  weeks dpending on ofstead im hoping so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh well thought i would share my news with you thats it form me hugs to you all love form keeley xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

Kee - Good news about the childminding! you must be mad 


No news here really, LAC review date has been bought forward for K to the 7th so not ling until we all have some clear picture of where we are going 

Can't believe he has been her 2 months already  seems like a lifetime!  only joking 

love to all
suzie x


----------



## vicster

We are interested in fostering but are still trying to conceive.  I'd kind of assumed that like adoption they wouldn't consider you if you were having treatment or on an ivf waiting list, but seeing your profiles I don't think that's true  Is that right?

Any advice on getting started would be much appreciated.  

Lots of Love 

Vicster


----------



## Suzie

Hi Vicster

Basically we had to tell them we we finished with tx for now although not forever. Which is why we are short term carers not long term/permanence. 

I didnt tell them my tx was on hold for a year, I just said we had finished having tx for now and may or may not ever have more. 
They just wanted to check we would be able to deal with the ending of each placement etc which after tonight performance by my little chap then I am convinced I will be just fine 

they just sent a letter to our gp asking if he knew of any medical/mental health reasons why we shouldnt be considered and that was it,

If you give your local social services a call they will send someone out to have an initial visit for a chat 



love
suzie xx


----------



## Suzie

hiya

It quiet on here!

hope you are all ok?

Kee - any news?

I am off on a life story work course today ready for when we have a bridging placement  looking forward to it

K is ok just having trouble with this vocal tics this week    , I need a holiday 

love to all
suzie x


----------



## kee888

hiya everyone yeah its is queit suzie lol cos im not around rofl, hows you hun why you need an holiday?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

just a quick update from me posted forms off for ofsted on thursdsay got a phonecall last night to say they would like to come and se me next monday arrrrgghhhh lol, asked if i had spoken to sw about combining childminding and i said no told her our situation and she advised us to ring them and have a chat to them, allthough i allready know there are a few people in our area who are foster carers and childminders combined!!!!!!!!!!! so will see how it goes when i call them shortly!!!!!! also ofsted asked me did you have your en hanced crb records i said we do but i posted them to you recorded with the application form as requested!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway enough waffeling form me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got allsorts to do today catch yer later hope you are well? and big massive hello to everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## kee888

well well well i will be getting talked about   dont post for ages then 2 posts in one day   well a bit of news but not sure if its the news i want  just had a call from sw asking if we can do respite for 2 young girls ages 3 and 4 this weekend as its there carers 50th birthday not exactly the call i wnated but hey ho suppose its better than nothing!!!!!!!!!!!? suzie hope the course is going ok?? you had a respite one didnt you before you got k?? its still out of our catergory but i dont mind the sw said it didnt matter either! was yours out of your range hun?? i know were approved 5 to 10 short term like you i think??

love and hugsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

hi kee 


we did have a respite one which was a good experience  before we got K

Yep K is out of our age range! we are birth to 11 and he is 12  

Hope this is the start of placements coming for you 

xx


----------



## alex28

have fun this weekend k!!!!


----------



## kee888

hello everyone just got in about half hour ago form meeting the girlies bless em they are lovely arnt they all lol, went really well and they started to pack there cases bless em while we were there, we sat and watched tom n jerry too they were both really at home with us and the foster carer was chuffed to bits bless her and says she can go pout to her suprise party on sat now and have a good time knowing they will be fine with us, so we pick em up fri aft and take em back sun think we are in for a busy weekend they are 18month and 3 yars xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

Kee - have a fab weekend! Enjoy 

xx


----------



## Suzie

Hiya 

just quick one to say  and hope everyone is ok?  

How did the weekend go Kee? any more placment news?

Had K's LAC review this morning! should be interesting 

love to all
suzie x


----------



## cindyp

Kee, I hope the weekend went OK?

Cindy


----------



## kee888

hello every one sorry for not been around been so hectic its unreal  

weekend went really well, went to a big nature reserve type park called worsbrough mill and they had there wellybobs on n jumped in every puddle had loads of laugh and iggles all of us  then went to macdonalds for tea they were both exhasuted so had a staedy day day after and went to feed ducks which was an experience   with 2 that young any way   had a really good time all round and the girl really enjoyed it  and were really good too  so all in all a excellant weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got hopes raised and dashed last night got a phone call asking could we take 2 children aged 9 and 11, anyway it all fell through at last minute and they had to go to an agency   been up all night thinking of them am i normal   apparantley they were taking in bizzare circumstances  dont know what i feel today  

anyway enough waffeling from me hows everyone

love and hugs from kee

sizie how did review go hunni?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## KarenM

Kee

Glad your weekend went well.  I know you can't help but wonder about the ones you hear of but then don't see. I always felt that about some of them in Be My Parent

Suzie - Hope you are ok.

Karen x


----------



## Suzie

quick catch up before school run 

Kee - glad your weekend went well! we had 2 calls like that! before we got a placement. so frustrating 

Karen - thanks for popping by 


Review was longgggg  as always   but long story short is that K's mum has to have assessments etc ( if she agrees ! ) and he is with us for a while longer. Looking like long term foster family needed for him   next review is in July however we are feel that things are going to happen before then with mum and it will be bought forward. He took it better than expected so that was a relief. hope its not the calm before the storm!
His sister took it worse and that was a surprise as she doesnt normally. Ah well we shall see! So he is he for a bit longer which is fine but we have a good respite carer if needed as he has lots of issues bless him. Hated the fact that we are carers but need respite sometimes   doesnt seem right to me. 

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## cindyp

Suzie, it might not seem right needing respite but bear in mind this isn't exactly what you signed up for.  You were supposed to be short term carers for children younger than K.  As ever the boundaries have been stretched and it is perfectly reasonable that you might need a break.

Cindy


----------



## kee888

morning all hope you are all well sorry ive been awol but its been a bit mad round here lately to say the least with dh 40th suporse birthday well that was a millitary operation lets say lol anyway hows everyone

hope you are all well

suzie hoes it going with k hun did they manage to sort out your respite?? i was always warned make sure you try and set respite up before they are placed with yo as ss will do everything possible to avoid giving respite and at the end of the day every single foster carer is supposed to have respite carers in place according to guidelines! hope you ok chick??

not much happening here sw still ringing me and im ringing him but no placements as yet however they are in the process of sorting me bunk beds out and wardrobes lol not bad to say 1 child and they sorting bunk beds out lol so i think that they are looking to place 2 children with us and the phonecalle we had on the girls were 2 of them so me thinks they no sticking to there guide lines etc but i dont mind all i say is bring it on lool


love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## suz

Hi guys

Coming to join you all.  Got my form to fill out for Wawickshire council, is the council where most of you are with?  How long when you send the form of does it take for you to have a wee person join you?

I have decided to go for short & long term temp, 0-5 yrs but as my daughter gets older, the older the child I will take.  I am also thinking of taking physical disability kids also as my friend and grandad both disabled.

Love SUZ
XXX


----------



## Suzie

and welcome to the thread 

I am with my local council in Norfolk  We sent the forms off and someone came to talk to us fairly quickly. We started the assesment in october i think it was and we were approved in June 

We are approved birth to 10 short term but we have a 12 yr old lad with us at the moment !! long story

look forward to chatting to you and seeing you through your journey 

xx


----------



## suz

Thanks Suzie

Just filled out my form to Warwickshire council this morning, I popping out later to post it, get the ball rolling, I quite excited about it really but nervous at the same time that they may not except me on their list.

Love SUZ


----------



## suz

Well Guys

I have decided to go with local authority, spent an hour on the phone yesterday to a nice sw.  I told them I am in the middle of trying to move house so when I finally move find a buyer they will come out and do the home visit.

So much to know and learn, but I find it so exciting at the same time, its nice to know that I can come on here and talk to you guys about it.  The only thing that worries me is they were telling me that they turn down people with depression or a history of abuse.  Now i used to suffer from depression, only getting over post-natal, I also told them I was abused as a little one, but I am over it now.  I have excepted it, but how do I convince them when it comes to decision day. 

Seems I need to provide references, one being from a family member, do husbands count?

Anyway will let you know of anymore, anyone with warwickshire council?

Love SUZ XXX


----------



## Suzie

Suz the best advice i can offer you is to be completely open and honest with your sw during the assessment process  trust me there is nothing that they havent heard or dealt with before   

xx


----------



## kee888

well hello everyone did you all have a good easters? sorry ive been awol but we got a placement on thursday before good friday so its been abit manic as all the shops seemed to be closed near us and yep you guessed it little one came with wothout anything only what she stood in  bless her i will name her as b  on here and and she is 14 years old got severe learning difficultys and is registered blinf but has got some sight there but not much   so to say the least its been a bit hectic hope to catch up soon   so i keep saying hi to everyone welcome suz hows it going hun?

olive hows you sweeetie and hows k??

love and higs kee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

Kee -wow you have your hands full sweetie   Why does it not surprise me she came in just what she is wearing ! Seems they are mostly like that. Really hope things are going well

Things ok here just manic with it being school hols 

be back later
love to all
suzie xx


----------



## Suzie

right update as have 2 mins 

K is still with us and likely to be for next few weeks although cut off point for him to move on is end of school year in July as he needs to be settled ready for high school in September. Not sure what his long term plan is yet but have meeting on 27th now where we will find out more.

Have cons appointment for attention problems and muscle and vocal tics on monday so that should help me to help him understand whats going on. 
his sister is coming to stay over on Sat and he is really looking forward to it 

hope everyone is ok?

love
suzie x


----------



## Fifelassie

Hello everyone,

I hope you do not mind my joining you all. I am one of the ICSI chicks, first ICSI failed week before XMAS last year. We are on the waiting list again but it will be the end of 2008 at the earliest before we get another chance.
We have discussed adoption and fostering before, but wanted to wait until we had gone through our first IVF first. I know if we adopt we will loose our right to any more free IVF on the NHS, but can anyone let me know what the situation is with fostering? Are you still allowed IVF?

I have just handed my notice in at work, sick of the rat race and the commuting. I am going to be working from home soon helping my husband to run his business, so I will be able to work much more flexible hours and be at home every weekend. 

I am really interested to find out more about fostering, possibly weekend respite to begin with.
Even if we are ever able to have our own miracle baby I would still want to continue fostering anyway.

I guess it is a very long process of being vetted by the social workers etc and all the training. How have you all found the process?

I look forward to speaking to some of you soon.

Fifelassie


----------



## Suzie

and welcome to the fostering thread Fifelassie 

Personally I found the assessment not too stressful! We were lucky we got on really well with our assessing social worker 

The best thing I can advise is to give your LA a call and have a chat about it. They will probably send someone out to talk to you  Then you can see if you want to go ahead with it still 

 and look forward to chatting some more

love
suzie xx


----------



## kee888

What are we like tut tut going on disapearing onto the 2nd page lol sorry cant catch upnow but will do later how is everyone?

love and hugs kee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

hi kee   Hows things your end? any news of a placement?

Well K still with us for now! doing ok! taking each day as it comes!  Have planning meeting on tuesday for long term plans so should know more then. 


hope everyone is getting on ok?

love
suzie x


----------



## kee888

Hiya suzie hun hope all goes well at the metting hun was it tuesday gone or next??

glad things going ok i agree with what we do we have to take ait one day at a time, b is still with us she has been with us since the 5th april now cant belive its been so long lol, we have a planning meeting on the 29th of this month so we may get to know more then lol, her sw came to see her on friday last week to say she would not be going back home to her other foster carer and to her twin as too much had gone off and they deemed it unsafe so we had a pretty tough weekend last weekend, she has been on contact once and that was tough too but it was nice for her to see her brother and her mum as she calls her as they have been placed there since babies, they are going to try and continue the contact but will se what happens as she sees her twin at school and various clubs she goes to, so im like you hun taking each day as it comes lol

love and hugs hope all is well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Suzie

evening 

hows things with your placement Kee ? any news? 

K is always in a bad mood on thursdays!! No idea why and can't figure out any reason for it   so i come to work on a thursday evening completely mentally drained from 3 hours of moods! 

ah well tomorrow is friday 

love to all
suzie xx


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## Suzie

blimey its been a long time since I have posted on here!! 

Just to let you know that K is returning home on 26th July. Sad that he is going back to the area he came from but that is out of our hands. So they are looking for an age appropriate placment for us for the summer.

Any news anyone? 

love 
suzie


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## thespouses

OK I have a question... this could be long... some of you will have seen me on this board considering adoption - very long story but due to recent events we are not sure we want to completely close the door on possibly having birth children, but due to our history we are low-key NHS patients rather than full-blown IVF private clinic patients, so it could be a very long haul, and we aren't getting any younger. We would really like to have children in our lives... and not just my nieces who live overseas, or the Brownies who are lovely but only once a week!

Conversations with an online friend have led me to think perhaps short-term/respite fostering would be for us, at least for the moment.  Neither of us want to give up work, though, we like our jobs and we are both "career" people - I had always intended to go back part time if we had birth children.  I am wondering if anyone has considered this and if you have met with a positive response.  It is possible that in the future I could only work school hours, or DH could reduce his hours/take early retirement but not just at the moment.

We are currently on hold as regards the adoption approval process with a voluntary agency (CRB done, we cancelled our first prep course date).  We like them and they also approve foster carers.  If we were approved by them, could we foster for the LA (so as to maybe have a choice of placements, a bit more! as the agency fostering seems to have a lot of very high need kids), does anyone know??

(I'm burying this question in this thread rather than starting a separate thread as I'm trying to keep this quiet at the moment, I have actually asked this elsewhere under another name but if you see that, don't rat on me, OK?)


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## Suzie

hiya 

i will try and answer some of your questions if i can 

Respite fostering is usually weekends and school hols to give carers such as myself a break  for example our foster child as present goes to his respite carers once a month for a weekend. 
We are short term carers and short term is a phrase I use lightly as a placement can be up to about 2 years long! 

Children are placed with an agency when there are no appropriate beds/carers in the LA. They are not necessarily the high needs kids. 
Most LA's are in great need for respite carers, having said that also long and short term carers also! 

What I would say is that is you both work full time you might find it difficult to be full time short term carers as I only work part time and due to the amount of meetings/reviews/legal stuff you sometimes have to sort out for a new placement I certainly couldnt have worked full time. Having said that some carers do 

If you are approved as an LA carer you cant foster with the agency and also the other way round. If we wanted to go to an agency now ( not that I ever would as they dont get the amount of support LA carers do ) we would have to be reassessed and go to panel again. 

If it is something you are considering you should give your LA/agency a call and they will send someone to have a chat with you so that would help 

It is very demanding ( although I have a high needs placement at mo  ) at times but when you get just one nice/sensible comment/achievement then it makes it all worthwhile! 



love
suzie xx


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## thespouses

Just to clarify our agency is not a "fostering agency" but a church voluntary agency that approves both adopter and foster carers, and has a very good reputation of after-adoption care, would this not necessarily meant that they give good support to foster carers?

I think from chatting to people it would be respite that we would be interested in.

Does anyone else have any information on agencies' attitudes to people who are still pursuing having birth children? I know one person who does respite/very short-term care and is going through IVF,  and yet from what someone else told me it sounded similar to adoption, in that you were given a long interview to check you had closed the door on that?


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## Suzie

Hiya

We were asked about tx and we told them that we had finished it for a good while, not saying we would never go back to it but at that time during the assessment we werent considering any tx. they also asked us to take precautions while doing the assessment as it would be a waste of time for everyone concerned. I told them what they wanted to hear but have to confess that I didn't as it hasnt happened in 10 years 

I would ask them about Foster carers support as it is vital  



xx


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## thespouses

Thanks - that is helpful to know - will definitely ask what kind of support carers get!

With our agency and adoption we were due to have our prep course in Feb but had a miscarriage just before that (at 5w so we had virtually no time to even tell them we were pregnant) and they were happy to say we could have some time off but come back after we felt ready.  I don't know whether at that point they would have said "please can you use precautions now" as before that we were fairly sure we couldn't get pregnant, at all, but as I say had another pregnancy this year.

I think we would find it hard to go through the fostering process, too, if we had had a recent loss, but I don't quite see how it's "wasting their time" as lots of people are foster carers and have birth children and we might want to do that, too.


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## Suzie

I think that if someone gets pg while going through the assessment process then they arent going to be able to cope with a new baby and also take on a first placement. So the assessment process has to be put on hold when they and yourselves would have put alot of time and effort into your assessment to get you through panel. Hope this makes sense?
x


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## Becki

Hi ladies 

HOw are you all! 
I am looking into fostering, i was wondering what the process is and what we need to do! 
All advice or point me in the right direction would be amazig! 

Love to you all!

Becki xxx


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## Suzie

hi becki

the first thing you need to do is contact your local authority foster team and they will send someone to have a chat with you 

xx


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## thespouses

Thanks Suzi - you've been very helpful.  I think what we are questioning at the moment is how long everything is likely to take, as we've been trying to get/stay pregnant for nearly 3 years now, whereas the agency we are with now suggests about 6-8 months for approval for adoption so I would assume the same for fostering, if it took us another 3 years to have birth children we would really think it was worth our while to have given something to some other children in the meantime.

I'm off work tomorrow and think I'm going to do some ringing round and enquiring.


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## thespouses

Well I rang the LA and they sounded quite positive, said it takes 3-6 months for approval and were totally open to the idea of us working while fostering, and although I didn't go into any details they didn't seem bothered that we didn't have our own children. So it sounds quite good - they are sending out some details.


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## Suzie

hi

Sounds positive then  thats good

Lets hope they send you the info and you can start your fostering journey 

xx


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## thespouses

Well we got the info pack and looked at it over the weekend, so I rang up yesterday and they are sending someone round to chat in the next few weeks, hopefully! Although DH was a bit     it would be a good time to have this happen as he is doing jury service and could do a very early evening appointment, whereas normally we'd have to arrange it round him working from home.

Everyone seems very OK with the idea of respite fostering, even though we both work full time. So we are pleased with that!


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## Suzie

thats good news 

 with the upcoming appointment 

x


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## Suzie

just a quick post to say 

Its quiet here 

We are meeting K's new carers this weekend and then off to france to see my parents for a few days while K is at respite carer , then he will be moving the week we get back 

love to all
suzie x


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## thespouses

Gosh, it's quiet on here. We had our first visit from a SW today - she was very nice, if a little eccentric, in fact we had to keep getting her back on track of the topic!

We now have to wait for them to schedule a foster carer's prep course, they need to have a few people lined up and they aren't sure how long that will take - but they have only just run one. So it could be a few months.


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## Suzie

Glad you are on your way with the SW   Our LA run the course every 3 months so hope you dont have to wait very long .


Big developments with K. He is off home on monday morning   Long story but there you go, out of our hands now. 

Back on the placement list so we shall see 

x


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## cindyp

Suzie, I bet it will seem a bit strange after your "short" term placement leaves.  I know you did a great job with K but let's hope this next time they find a child that better fits the profile of the placements you signed up for  

Good luck to everyone else heading down the fostering route.

love
Cindy


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## Suzie

thanks Cindy 

Well K has left this morning, mixed feelings as he is going back to where he started but that was out of our hands

Bring on the next placement 

x


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## Suzie

Quick post as got call for new placement this morning and a little 23 month old boy is arriving at 7pm this evening

So panicking as need to child proof house 

xx


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## Damelottie

Oooh good luck Suzie

Thats quite exciting


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## superal

Suzie - You are doing a wonderful job & I'm sure K is fine & this new baby will keep you just as busy!!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## ♥ M J ♥

Suzie said:


> Quick post as got call for new placement this morning and a little 23 month old boy is arriving at 7pm this evening
> 
> So panicking as need to child proof house
> 
> xx


Wow Suzie- how fab- talk about last min! do you know how long you have hom for?

xxxx

PS if i lived nearer i would come help you cos we have baby/child proofed our house! (and at times it more like adult proof!)

xxx


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## Suzie

how long is a piece of string MJ  he is likely to be here at least 6 months but with the joy of fostering who knows 

Drew managed to break 2 cupboard locks as forgot they were on there 

K ( yes another K ) is asleep and took only 5 mins to settle!  please god let that be every night 

he is gorgeous  

thanks for your posts 

x


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## cindyp

Wow Suzie, what a change.  Only 5 minutes to settle (she said enviously  ), hope things continue so well.  At least at his age you can pick him up when he starts to get into trouble.

Enjoy

love
Cindy


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## MrsRedcap

Just wanted to pop by and say Have a great time with him Suzie.

He's lucky to have the foster parent that he has in you x x x

Sorry for butting in guys


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## Suzie

cindyp said:


> At least at his age you can pick him up when he starts to get into trouble.


my thoughts exactly


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## saphy75

awww great news Suzie, he sounds adorable. fingers crossed he continues to be so settled  

pam xx


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## Suzie

thanks for posts 

well so far so good  he has slept through both nights  and is sleeping like a baby as we speak 
He has been really good! 
Still think drew is inn denial that we have a toddler in the house  even though he is doing really well with him 

xx


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## kuchen131

Hello,  Not sure if I am doing this right or if I am in the right place  Just interested in hearing about all your foster care experiences.  We are in the process of becoming foster carers.  We have done our interview and will be starting the training course soon.  We are also TTC naturally.
Thanks!  Amanda


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## Suzie

Hi Amanda welcome to the fostering thread 

Its quiet on here at the mo, we are all prob busy with our foster children 

 for your course   I really enjoyed it 

I have just finished a placement with a 12 yr old lad and on thursday a 23 month old little chap arrived for a while, so a big change. 

If you want to know anything  please feel free to ask 

xx


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## kuchen131

Hi!  Thanks for your response...you must be busy with a toddler on your hands at the moment.  How lovely - toddlers are lots of fun!!!  My husband and I actually did the first part of our pre-service training on Friday, and will complete it in 2 weeks time.  Then I guess we just wait for a placement.  I did enjoy the day of training.  We are in Australia, but I'm sure even though the processes may be a little different from where you are (UK I assume?), the experiences will be the same.  I am just wondering what kind of things you did to prepare while you were going throught the process?  I have been collecting clothes in a variety of sizes, also just starting to buy things like toothbrushes, toothpaste, kid's cutlery etc.  But not really sure what to get  
Regards, Amanda


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## Suzie

hi Amanda

do you have to go to panel? after your training course ? We do here in the UK

I just got things in like you said, toothbrush etc and one essential is pyjama's! as sometimes placement arrive late in the day without much notice and come with only what they stand in, so they are always handy to have. 

Glad you got on well on your course, enjoy the rest of it 

xx


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## kuchen131

Hi - the way it has happened for us here is that we first contacted the Dept of Child Safety and got a zillion forms to fill in!!  We then had to have an interview/assessment with a representative from the Dept.  She came out to our home as a 'home saftey assessment' is part of it (checked for child locks, fire estinguishers etc etc).  This interview took 4 hours and ours was a short one apparently!  We did medical assessments also.  Now I think this training is the last part before we are officially registered as foster carers.  This has all happened over a period of 5 months.  Is this similar to your process?  Hope your enjoying time with your little guy.  Amanda.


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## Suzie

Our process took just under a year and that is short compared to some.  We have to fill in something called form F which  is the same for adoptions in the UK and we also have to go to panel and be assessed so sounds like yours is a relatively short assessment compared to the UK?

hope things going well?

little man is great  Social workers are not as usual! 

love
suzie x


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## thespouses

Well we have been on holiday and are back - we didn't get a moment to get the police checks sorted before we went away but rang up to tell them we hadn't forgotten the forms - and they told us that the foster caring course is likely to be in October! When we saw the SW last month she said it hadn't been planned yet so I was thinking in the New Year!

DH is off work for some weeks Nov/Dec so this might work out well as he works (currently - will be looking for a new job) over an hour away so even post-work home visits might be hard, he is a bit   about having the course while he has his last few weeks at work, but realises it would be better to do the home study when he's a bit more free, as he's hoping to start a new job in the New Year.

So I'll ring tomorrow and get the support worker (who lives round the corner, v. convenient) to come and sort the forms out for us!


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## Suzie

quick update 

Have panel on mnoday for yearly reapproval and also recommendation for us to be level 5 specialist carers! so  

little chap is lovely as always  looks like he is going to be here until the new year at least. 
off to kenya end of the month and he has to go to respite carer  not looking forward to leaving him for 10 days but no choice this time 

love to all
suzie x


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## Laine

Good luck for Monday Suzie xxx


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## cindyp

Hope panel went well Suzie.

Cindy


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## Suzie

thanks for messages  

Panel went really well thanks  we got our level 5 accreditation  which is fab 

hope everyone is ok?

x


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