# I survived!!



## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hey guys i just thought i would let you know i survived the dreaded weekend with friends and their baby!! 

I really thought it was going to be awful but it went ok. I thought i was going to feel the intense jealousy i usually get but i didn't!!!  I must be feeling so much stronger than i thought! 

It was funny really because DH and i found ourselves rolling our eyes when the friends said 'could we stay in on sat night so the baby could go to bed'....i guess being just the two of us we take it for granted that we can go out anytime. 

I have to say having my beautiful little dog around really helped too (sad i know!) but she really cheered me up and i was able to make a fuss of her when i felt a bit down   

DH was great, he knew it was going to be hard and was very supportive. 

But i have to say another friend said something so annoying over the weekend. We were talking about my condition and she asked if i still have periods and i explained that i don't as i have had the menopause and she said " you are lucky you don't have them".....i was really upset......doesn't she realise i would give my right arm to have regular periods and have a normal functioning reproductive system   AAAARGGH!!!! I would say i was pretty UNlucky! 

Sorry to waffle on but as we all know sometimes people are so tactless.

I hope you are all well

Luv
Florie x


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

That's great news hun (not what your friend said  ) that you got on okay with a baby around. It's so strange when you start to get used to it. I even watched a programme on giving birth today and felt fine...there IS a light at the end of the tunnel! 



kay xxx


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## vickied (Jun 25, 2008)

well done u
i know it must of been so hard and i am sure she did not mean it some folk just can not understand the things we are so in tune with prob never thought about what she said !!!
not that it helps u but good on you for seeing the light well done so proud of you.


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Thanks guys


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Glad you coped with it all ok. Your friend's comment reminded me of something that's been on my mind - that I too will have to face a time when my periods dry up (and I think it's soon as they have gone 'weird' already and I'm 42). Though it must be 10 times worse to go through it at 28, I know that when they do finish I will go through another round of grieving. Your strength is inspiring.


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Good on you for doing so well! I guess that once we overcome one challenge there will always be another one (like the friend asking about periods!) I suppose we can get strondger each time till it becomes almost managable?

LoL, jq x


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## acuna (Sep 10, 2008)

well done.

My best friend had a baby a few days ago and I am dreading having to talk to her. I know through her pregnancy we didn't talk as much and when we did she avoided talking about how ill she felt as she knew I would be thinking I would do anythink to feel that. I just feel that she will want to talk about the baby all the time (quite naturally) and I will find that hard. My neighbour is also due next month as are two other friends. I am surrounded by pregnant women. I really am happy for them but I also feel bad about not being able to share fully in their joy. I am also worried that these friendships will change as their lives focus on babies and mine doesn't.

I know I am still at the beginning of the whole IVF process - having only had one fresh and one frozen cycle and things could change, but it's so hard. My husband talk about our life without children and how we will have more money, holidays etc etc than our friends with children - but who are we kidding? we would much rather have childen.


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hi Acuna

Sorry to hear that you are going to be surrounded by babies soon   it really is a tough time.....i have my baby nephew coming to stay in a few weeks so it will be another testing time   But i am feeling pretty strong and at peace with things at the moment. I am slowly finding things to fill my life which make being infertile more bearable....not that i am saying the pain and loss will ever truly go away....i know it won't. And sometimes it still taps me on the shoulder to remind me it's still there and catches me off guard.... but those days are becoming less. I read a similar post (sorry i can't remember who posted it!) which said similar things. 
I really hope you have success in the future with your treatment if thats the path you choose to follow  and in the mean time i wish you lots of luck for coping with your friends/neighbours babies   Remember everyone on here is here to support you.    Give yourself time to grieve and don't be too hard on yourself if you find it hard....your friends will understand if you need some 'time out' now and again.....and lets face it - we don't want other peoples babies...we want our own!!!!    

Take care

Luv
Florie x 

P.S don't be too hard on DH i'm sure he is just trying to make you feel better by saying things about remaining childless. Not having children was something i could never have imagined 2 years ago but slowly i am getting the strength to accept that i may never have children....but i will be ok....hopefully!!!


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Glad to hear you feeling stronger Florie.

Acuna - I agree with Florie that your DH may be trying to reassure you that he's sticking around whatever happens. And that's really kind of sweet of him isn't it? I wish you luck.

Bernie x


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hey guys

i have a new challenge this weekend....my SIL is coming over from abroad and we have to go and stay at MIL's with them....as if MIL isn't enough to endure for 3 days...my SIL had a baby boy 3 months ago. So i will be expected to coo over him all weekend!  I am dreading it 

My SIL had 3 miscarriages before she gave birth so of course i am happy that her heartache is over *but* she seems to think this makes her an expert on fertility leading to her lecturing me on fertility  and what annoys me even more is that until she got pregnant she drank like a fish and smoked like a chimney! she didn't exactly take care of herself...sorry i think i should be on the bitter and twisted thread as i do sound really B&T!!

The worst thing is that the whole ordeal will be repeated again next weekend when they come to stay with us before flying home......why are families so hard work?!

Well, deep breath....here we go!

I will let you know how it goes...hopefully i will be as positive as last time but i doubt it....not only am i going to have the baby to deal with but my MIL as well....and not even in my own home.......Help!!!!!! 

Speak soon
Florie x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Florie hon
Don't allow the SIL to brow beat you into trying to tell you things that may 'help'. Have been there and done that with more than one 'helpful' family member too many in this lifetime. Just be quiet, calm and firm and make it plain you don't require any hints and/or tips from her - either she gets the hint or you and your other half disappear off out for a nice walk/shopping trip/drink down the pub/meal without her company.
Another tip that is very useful in situations where we feel it's all getting a bit too much is to have a code word between you and other half to use so that you can get out of a difficult or uncomfortable situation. 
You owe it to you to look out for yourself, I hope that you do have a good weekend with your other half (because it is your time too) but remember that you don't have to put up with a situation or behaviour from SIL that is going to upset your applecart. 
I find that escaping for a nice long bath in situations like these for a bit of space are a godsend too!  
Love & best wishes
Emcee x


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Thank you emcee....just leaving now


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

Good luck Florie - some "help" is just not needed is it!  

Kay xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Florie,

As I write you are in the middle of this ordeal! Too late to wish you well in advance, but not too late to be thinking of you as it unfolds,

I am sure you will be doing well in being pleased for your SiL. I hope she can be sensitive enough to imagine being in your position.

Whatever is going on, I hope you are OK. Let us know,

LoL Jq xxx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

((((((Florie)))))))) Sending 'stregnth' vibes! Hope it goes ok.
Bernie xxx


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hey guys

Thanks for your kind words.....they mean a lot  

Well it was hard work at the weekend.....as soon as i walked in the door my new nephew was thrust into my arms!! Luckily my infertility was well avoided all weekend thank goodness! I had a few wobbly moments but tried to stay cheerful throughout the weekend   i have been feeling pretty down the last few days.....really tearful   The annoying thing is i have to do it all again next weekend   

hopefully the sadness will go back in it's little box soon.......

Luv
Florie x


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