# How many times can your heart stand a BFN



## Ottercops123 (Nov 6, 2012)

Hi ladies,

So cycle 7 another bfn .... We've done everything tests , donor egg , donor sperm , PGD testing, immunes , biopsies you name it ive had it well everything except a positive.

My heart breaks each time but I bounce back this time im faking a smile as my heart is just breaking so much t actually hurts to breath .... 

I'm 34 and for the last 8 years been saving and then paying for a treatment my whole life has been chasing a dream that just doesn't seem to want to become a reality.

I have a fab job that keeps me busy and Im often at the gym too but this fake smile and saying im ok feels like it's about to make my world crumble because I'm not ok , I want answers I just want my heart to stop breaking .
Just wanted to have a little rant as I know you'll all know how I feel x


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## Amy76 (May 14, 2014)

Ottercops sorry for what you have been through sending you a hug x


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## Pollybear1 (Sep 5, 2014)

I didn't want to read and run.  I don't know how many times we can take it.  I've just had a bfn and I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear your news and I wanted to send you a big hug and know that we get it. I hope things get easier soon for you xx


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## Ottercops123 (Nov 6, 2012)

Thanks ladies it's hard talking to family or friends they just don't understand but I know you ladies do, im sorry for you bfn too - lots of hugs all around x


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## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

Ottercops - I don't think anyone understands until you've been through it. I found my fet a lot easier on my body and mind. Perhaps you should try embryo adoption, it's not for everyone, but certainly something I'm reviewing if I get a few more bfn xxx


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## Ottercops123 (Nov 6, 2012)

I use donor eggs now and last time we did half spe donor half oh sperm and had them PGD tested them had 2 of each put back to cover everything still nothing it's so fustrating and heart breaking x


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## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

It's so heart breaking when you get bfn, have the clinics advised you on the next steps. Your still really young, I'd be tempted to email serum and get there advise on DE.
I'm currently looking into immunes with Dr G, but you mentioned that you already had these tested x


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

For me it wasn't the repeated bfn's that were the final death knell on treatment, it was the treatment itself.  I'd always wondered what would prompt me to walk away from it all and I eventually found out.  I'd always said that when the fear of more treatment outweighed the fear of living a childless future, it was time to stop... and unfortunately that day came.  I was broken beyond belief - emotionally, physically and mentally.  I was halfway through a cycle and just stopped.  Called my clinic and said 'no more'.  I focused on getting my health back (together with my sanity) and then looked at it all with fresh eyes.  I decided that surrogacy was the way forward and the relief I felt from making that decision was immense.  Just knowing I would never have to have another scrape, another needle, more invasive traumatic procedures... as I say, pure, blissful relief.  I went through the whole gamut of emotions that came with walking away but when I looked at it objectively, I realised that I'd been preparing to walk away from the time I first started treatment, so it wasn't as difficult as I'd feared.  I'd had years to get used to the idea and the acceptance that I would never carry my own child wasn't too difficult to achieve.  It actually made me happy again and knowing that I could go down the surrogacy route gave me my hope back.

As it turned out, life had other plans but that's a different story.


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