# anyone else f2m or partner f2m ?



## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

Anyone else a self defining woman be it hetro with a f2m partner, or bi/bisexual/bicurious partner and f2m partner, or in our case loud proud bi queer woman married to someone who is f2m.

Feeling so isolated with just the 'make up' if you like of our relationship.

Lea
xox


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay lea

sorry to hear youre feeling so alone      being 'different' to the majority can be horrid and feel so isolating ... 

there has been a couple, i think they were hetro with f2m partner who posted on here about a yaer ago who were about to start treatment.  maybe change the SUBJECT header to attract any lurkers who might be in your position to 'come out and say hi' ....

where do you live?  i guess now near to many other trans couples that you know of.

as a woman who is loud proud bi queer find it hard when your relationship 'looks' hetro from the outside?

how visible our 'difference' is can be on such a spectrum (not just with sexual orienation) and where we feel we are on the inside sometimes doesnt marry to how we are percieved on the outside.  does any of that apply to you?

being lonely sucks!  i have been very lonely at times living in a 'foreign culture and country' with my dp for the past four years, adn sometimes really struggled with how different i have felt ....

 

aimeex


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## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

Amiee, thanks, we know of other f2m's nationally but locally Ben doesn't like the idea of being 'out' yet cos I had such a hard time if you like through my teens to find comfort in my own identy as I am sure many others have found the case, something in me feels like part of my identity is now to the 'outside' seen as something different.

Most of our joint friends are RAINBOW people if you like or the alphabet soup variety, so once we get futher down the line I know we will get a lot of support from them it is just the early stages at the moment and not knowing what to do with ourselves.

We are in Leeds, where from the age of roughly 13-24/5 I was incredibly active on the LGBTQ scene a founder member of Speak Out which would do Homophobia and Hetraphobia training to anywhere that would listen, we would speak at conferences saying just how life was for us, we gained funding to hold the first ever youth pride event, had a internet radio station for 18 months called RU HOME and much more besides.  If it wasn't for S/O and the local LGBTQ youth networks I don't htink I would be as out and prouod as I am today.

Ben has had a lot of involvement when he was younger with Stonewall in Scotland.

I am also active wihtin National Union Of Students and the LGBTQ campaign was on disability liberation commitee during my 1st year of uni and have for the last 3 years been acesibility officer within Leeds Met's LGBTQ society,

both of us are involved with Keshet which is for Jews of any denomination who are LGBTQ or anyone wanting more info...

soo yeah both very active but at the same time feeling isolated.

 Lea
xox


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Welcome Ben & Lea


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Hi Ben and Lea!!

Welcome to FF!

I cant relaly answer your questions but looking forward to chatting with you!

Em x


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## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

Thanks Ladies, although the title of this forum is a tad off putting as neither Ben or I are Gay or a Lesbian.  (side note - sorry I'm in a meh headspace this evening so appologies)

Maybe I hsould try sleep as 1am but head going crazy with a million things
Lea
x


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## snagglepat (Sep 13, 2004)

Hi Lea & Ben,

Welcome to you both! There was a ftm poster and his partner on here a few years ago but they hasn't been around for a good while now. I'm guessing their TTC must have taken a different turn - they were trying for years.

As for the title of this thread - I know what you mean. I'm loudly bi/queer in most of my circles and when we first got our own independent thread I was pretty vocal about making the title as inclusive as possible. Unfortunately the decision was made to go for the L&G title but at least we've got LGBT written in underneath. It's not ideal, but I figure that in this TTC adventure the experience and support is more important than a title - and this place is great on those things.  

Wishing you all the best!

Gina. x


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Have been reading these posts about the title.

I'll post a new thread as not everybody will necessarily read this one.


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## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

yup the name isn't all that or label for want of a better word is for societies benefit rather than that of the subject matters within.

Lea
xox
ps just managed to mistype my own name 4x with a K before finding the L key (feeling a tad meh tonight)


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## raggedyann (Jul 7, 2007)

Hi Ben and Lea

I haven't really been active on here but logged in today and noticed your post.  My husband is FTM, so it's really lovely to hear from another couple - we're based near Inverness - so a long way! We were originally going to get referred to fertility clinic but late last year decided that we would look for a sperm donor ourselves and go DIY! Long story short; i'm now 8 months pregnant! 

I x


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## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

Congrats on being 8months 

Ben is Scottish (between e'boro and glasgow in a wee villiage no one has heard of but yet I seem to know that side of geography better than some english now, be good to chat hun?!


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay there

just wanted to ask about keshat .. and are you both jewish?  dp is jewish, so we do abit of the jewish celebrations ...

ax


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## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

Yup we are both Liberal Jews (altho I was brought up Orthodox)

Keshet is a new charity we have both been involved with since day 1.  Keshet is striving to represent and be there for any Jew, regardless of denomination, also to give a Jewish LGBTQAA (lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, asexual, aly) voice thru grass roots activism, education, campaigning, attendance at Pride events etc, we marched at Manchester Pride last year with a banner saying 'OI VEY WERE GAY!' amongst Keshet members marching was a openly gay Rabbi and his partner, same Rabbi married Ben n I in the summer

that is just a brief overview, we can be found via Keshet Manchester on ********, both as a 'person' and a group, we have a website altho my mind is blank as to the url tonight, regular meet ups in Manchester and Leeds, other resources coming soon.

Any other questions feel free to ask them, if I can't answer I'l find a committee member who can

x


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## katena (Nov 14, 2007)

benandlea said:


> LGBTQAA (lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, asexual, aly)


Ok...i have seen LGBT..and even Q -so know what thats all about. And i even know what asexual is...but whats 'aly'!!!



benandlea said:


> OI VEY WERE GAY!'


Hahaha...thats a cool and funny to boot!

k


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

gabs comes from a loosely orthodox family ... theyre not very religious, but the community here (ive been informed) has become more extreme since gaby was little .... 

ive always wondered whether jonathon sax is the leader of all jews in britain or just the ones who are orthadox?


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## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

for Keshet purposes we are using the word Aly for Hetrosexuals who are in a relationship with someone who is Bi for example.  

I may of spelt it wrong ..I am dyslexic.

Jonathon Sacks is the 'chief Rabbi' I know personally speaking as a Liberal Jew, I am not comfortable with him representing me, as many Orthodox Jews don't recognise Liberal, Reform, Mazorti, list goes on...

Lea
xox


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