# Completely and utterly new to all of this



## S_Lauren24 (Mar 5, 2015)

Hello everyone so I am completely new to all of this and never imagined having to do anything like this but here I am. I am 24 years old and my boyfriend is 44 years old (please don't judge me on this, we love each other very much) and we would love to have a child however my boyfriend had testicular cancer when he was 37 and was told he would never be able to have biological children. So after much talking we have come to the decision to look for a sperm donor and well this is where I get lost. 
We haven't long come to a decision so we haven't contacted a doctor or a clinic or anything yet but I have come here for a little guidance and support really. I hope no one thinks I am too young or thinks badly of our age gap.


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Hello
Well done for posting   

I can assure you this is the one place you won't get judged for anything!

So sorry your partner went through this, the first thing I would do is contact your CCG and see what treatment you might be entitled to on the NHS, you should also go to your GP and ask to be referred for tests (they may even do some blood work themselves) even if you know the problems lie with him they will still want to run tests on you both 

I'm currently having donor egg treatment due to early menopause 

If you need any help shout im usually around the donor boards 

L xx


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Just pulled you some links together you might find useful to read

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*Fertility through Cancer ~ *CLICK HERE

*Donor sperm/eggs ~ *CLICK HERE

L x


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## S_Lauren24 (Mar 5, 2015)

Thank you very much. I am very nervous about starting the process and just don't know what to expect. Looking around here everything seems so confusing but also very friendly


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi Lauren I'm sorry you've been through such a rough time. I have no experience in sperm donation but would like to say this is one place you will not be judged. I was 21 when my fertility problems started and all doctors wouldn't give me much help as they said ( your too young) over 4 years on I've only just started to get my head around things as infertility can feel so lonely and this is the only place I feel I can talk its an amazing site all ladies and men are here to help. Good luck with your treatment


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## beanie1974 (Feb 13, 2013)

Hi Lauren
If neither of you have children from a previous relationship, you should be able to apply for NHS funding.  My husband found out he was infertile after we went to the doctors after trying to conceive.  He found out when the doctor did a sperm sample test.  We were then referred to a consultant at our local hospital.  We applied for NHS funding - this funded an operation for my husband (to see if he had any sperm at source - if your boyfriend already knows he hasn't then you probably don't need to go through this stage).  Once we had the results of the op (no sperm found) - the NHS gave us funding for donor sperm, and funding for IUI (the donor sperm is just inserted into you at the right time of the month - some drugs used), and also IVF (donor sperm is used to fertilise your eggs once they have been extracted from you, and then the embryo is put back inside you).

We got 4 ampules of donor sperm - which gives you 4 chances to get pregnant - you have to order the sperm from either a sperm bank in Denmark or America, and you get refunded.  The sperm gets shipped to the clinic where the IUI/IVF is performed.  You get to use which clinic you want to have treatment at when you apply for funding.  The whole process of getting funding is time consuming - but you are young, so are probably not in too much of a hurry!  I would go and see you GP to discuss a referral for funding - but remember, you will only be eligible if neither of you have your own children.  If your other half is definitely infertile from the treatment, he obviously won't need the op to see if there are any there, and you should be able to apply straight away for funding for donor sperm and IUI/IVF.  Hopefully it should not take longer than a year to sort (hopefully 6-9 months) - you will need to have tests done yourself to check there is nothing wrong with you also.  If you want to pay to go private to speed things up, you can get your GP to refer you to a private clinic for treatment - you will still need to have your tests done.

Please message me if you have any questions - we know have a lovely 7 month old baby boy thanks to a kind donor.  All donors have to be open - this means that when the baby is 18, they can choose the trace the donor, but the donor can never contact them.  You have lots of info when choosing the donor, including full medical history of their immediate family, and can even choose to view photos of them (as baby and adult) to ensure a close match is made.

Hope this helps
x


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Just to add if you cycle in the UK most clinic are able to provide a donor from their bank so no ordering in from abroad, you would just be matched on the psychical characteristics of your partner, no photos available just details for matching, they recruit the donor for you, that's how I had my egg donation cycle 

L x


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## beanie1974 (Feb 13, 2013)

It sounds like egg donation may be different to sperm donation.


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

It's the clinics that differ rather, my clinic do both they recruit their own donors for both so you can use their bank of local donors in the same way for eggs and sperm, they have donors available with no waiting list and ordering from abroad

I'm with Care Manchester 

L


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