# Changing the spelling of a name?



## someday (Sep 11, 2008)

Is that a no no? We don't want to change Lo's name just the spelling of it as it can be spelt different ways and there is one we would prefer. He is just gone 3 so probably doesn't know how to spell his name.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Is there any security reasons you could ask SWs about. As I understand, when the AO paperwork is being done by you you can change the name/spelling then and not tell SWs. I know the is not good practice but just if you get the impression SWs would not support this. With social networking etc its something we thought of before we found our LO.

Congrats btw I forgot to mention earlier ;-)
X


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Legally you can, and some SWs will be positive, some will not. So perhaps tread carefully!

If the original spelling is really unusual and they will spend their whole life explaining it, that might be a good reason to suggest.


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

We've been talking about this too, potential LO has a name that can be spelt a traditional way as well as a more modern way and I'd prefer the traditional version.  However, it occurred to me that LO might resent our changing the way his parents had spelt his name when he is older.  If there was a good security reason for it then maybe it's a good idea but otherwise, would he wonder why cards and letters from his family have his name spelt differently to they way it is now? 

Only an idea, it's not for me to try to sway you, just wanted to share my musings on the issue.


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

We changed our sons spelling of his name as the way it was spelt wasn't very common and he was easily recognisable. It is down to personal preference and at the end of the day its you who are going to be his parents and live with it on a day to day basis so if you feel the need to change it I personally don't see anything wrong with it.

x


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I once taught a child called  Filip (Philip). I will be honest if such a spelling was put on me I would change it because I truly believe that it would be in the child's interest. I felt so sorry for him having to live with that. x x


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Filip  

I'll be honest, in my line of work I have seen every conceivable spelling of children's names and some of them are truly awful. One example from many moons ago was 'Jorja' for Georgia. I had one individual ring me and tell me that I had spelt their child's name wrong on something - I really wanted to point out that actually, I had spelt it correctly, and they had not.   

We have been told we can change the spelling of our LO's name to a more traditional spelling. It's actually a very nice name but the way it is spelt at present totally changes the feel of it in my mind. It's amazing how that can happen isn't it!


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Generally SWs don't mind you "correcting" spelling of names.  

Actually changing them is a different matter and either you agree it before hand, or you keep very quiet and just put in the request when you apply for the AO.  

I honestly don't think it makes sense to change a child's name when they're old enough to know their name, because it just adds so much to the confusion at placement.  Our daughter's name had to be changed as it was unusual, and there were concerns about her being traced, and even at 18 months old it was just another complication that didn't help.  Ironically, I liked her birth name (although like many, I would have changed the spelling, it was dreadful).  It was necessary, and it was the right thing to do, but it was also hard for her.

Having said that in some areas there seems to be a bit of a shift in SW thinking at the moment, or in the thinking of the Courts, in that if the only thing making a baby hard to place is an awful name that doesn't appeal to largely middle class adopters, it would be in the child's interests for that name to be changed, and I agree.


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

A strange name would put very off putting for me... examples such as Chardonnay, Britney or Chrystal, Levi, Brooklyn or Trevor etc would make it hard for me to consider a child without being able to change the name.  it would also set them apart in our community and make it much more apparent that they were adopted as anyone who knows us would realise that those just aren't names we would choose.  The name we are faced with is spelt 'wrong' but isn't an awful name, it's something we wouldn't have chosen but fits in with my welsh background so we can live with it.

We are going to choose a more traditional middle name though, one with family connections.  Later on the child can choose how they wish to be known of course.  We are still in two minds about changing the spelling of the first name, DH wants to, I'm not so sure. 

(I so hope I haven't offended anyone, but it's all personal choice) xx


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Personally I have some principles about naming which are graded along degrees of "wrongness". I feel it is just plain _wrong_ as in very wrong to name a child after a form of alcohol or drugs - I realise this cuts out some normal names like Stella and (well, it's not that normal) Crystal, but also Chardonnay. Some of these are indeed given to children because of a parent's attachment to that drug.

It's particularly common for girls to give a name that would be much better attached to an, erm, lady whose profession is in adult entertainment. I think that's mean to small children too.

I also think it's wrong, but less wrong, to name a child with a really unusual name or spelling just to assert your individuality as a parent. But middle class families are some of the worst for this, and I groan when I hear some friends say "we've named her Amba, we like the name Amber and the spelling is like the Spanish for 'both' and she was conceived on holiday in Central America and she's both sun and moon both to us". Pass me a bucket! But that's definitely not just an issue for chaotic families!

Our little boy's two birth sibs both have, erm, unusual names chosen by their/his birth mum, the older one (who lives with grandparents) with an, erm, unusual spelling too. In fact I thought how she'd given this poor child a triple whammy with an unusually spelled, unusual first name and a weird middle name. Turns out though that what I thought was a weird middle name is in fact just a slightly unusual last name as it's her dad's last name (she sees quite a bit of her dad, who isn't our little boy's dad).


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

I taught an Taome (pronounced tay-oh-me)  - The Apple Of My Eye.
Have also taught a 'Diamond white', heavenly Scarlett and an angel. We were so worried about our lo's name. His siblings are all simply awful, made up concoctions of letters. They are hardly recognisable. And them bf must have had a brain storm - his is as traditional as traditional can be. Perfect.


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Diamond white.....as in cider. And I thought chardonnay was cruel!!! Why not go all the way and call them White Lightning    Perhaps the child with aforementioned name was conceived after copious amounts of Diamond White behind a bus shelter somewhere....so hard not to be prejudiced towards people who give their children such afflictions for names


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Names..................LilyElf your so right in saying its hard not to be prejudiced towards people who give their children affictions for names......the baby we looked after whilst doing concurrency is a typical example of one of those names.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

To return to this topic, I was looking at the Be my Parent profiles and came across a sibling pair where one of them had a fairly common name but with an incredibly unusual spelling. The spelling can be a surname, I think, as if you Google it on its own it comes up a few times. But with the other sibling's name, there are just 4 hits on the whole internet, and that one is the first. Talk about traceable!


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