# No postive PT 'til 6 weeks gone



## Clarrie (Apr 16, 2011)

Hi all, I'm brand new to this site (first post!) but am desperate to hear if anyone else has experience of what happened to me, and if they can offer advice.
After trying for 5/9 months (took 4 months to get my periods after coming off the pill so guess you can't count that as trying), in June 2010 I missed my period, and of course took a preg test, which was neg. Over the course of the next week, took more pt's, but neg, so a week late I had pt (urine) at the docs. That came back 5 days later as 'inconclusive'. My doc said he'd 'never heard of this', so I gave another urine sample next day (by now 13 days late for my period, 28 day cycle). 3 days later (now with sore breasts) I had positive home pt (so, 16 days late for period) and doc's pt came back pos the next day.
With such a shaky start I was worried, but was assured by doc and midwife that there was no reason why this shouldn’t be like any other pregnancy ... and then at 7 ½ weeks I miscarried. The foetus hadn’t developed beyond 4 or 5 weeks. When I told the doc at the epu that it had taken so long to get the positive preg test result he sort of shrugged and said, ‘well, that was probably because the foetus wasn’t very strong, which is why you miscarried’ (contradicting what my doc and the midwife said at the start, but I’ve had a lot of that now ...).
Anyway, we started trying again after 1 month – and 9 months on we’ve had no joy. My new gp has been v helpful and has done the basic hormone tests on me (all fine) and sperm test on hubby (all fine). Gp referred us to the infertility clinic (nice name) but the specialist told us we would get no further investigation until 1 year had passed since the miscarriage (devastating), so here we are waiting. They all seem to be assuming that we’ll conceive naturally before then, as nothing seems wrong ‘and you’ve conceived once’. But we’re trying to do everything right, ov kits say I’m ovulating, but still nothing.
What I’m really coming to is that the assumption is that as we conceived once it’s just a matter of time til we conceive again, and that what happened to us was ‘one of those things’ and there’s no reason why we won’t conceive again soon. But i feel that my preg/mis was NOT normal, and that it is a strong indication of something wrong, and that i won’t conceive naturally. This may not have just been a genetic one-off – I think this was a problem with me nurturing and maintaining a pregnancy, which may not right itself. Something was wrong from the start and i feel that it’s the same thing that’s now stopping us conceiving at all. Say I have a problem with implantation or progesterone levels maintaining a pregnancy once it’s started? That would explain the mis, and the lack of conception since. Docs and everyone else see the preg/mis as a good thing (‘at least you can conceive’) but I see it as the first sign of something wrong that is still ongoing.
Has this happened to anyone else? I’m desperate either for reassurance, or an answer as to what might be going on. I'm 36 (which feels ancient when issues like this arise!).


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## Faithope (Jan 16, 2011)

Hi *Clarrie* 

Firstly I wanted to say welcome to FF  I have found this site amazing and very helpful 

My circumstances are different to yours and I can't relate to not getting a positive HPT late but I can relate to getting pregnant then it not happening again. I had a miscarriage in March last year after trying intensively for 19 months, before that we were trying for about 6 years without OPK's timing etc.. We have been trying ever since, I am on my 13 month and still no pregnancy. It takes healthy couples in their twenties anything from ayear+ to conceive. I know how it feels to want something so badly and having to keep trying after along time can be disheartening.

Just because your last pregnancy 'didn't feel right from the start' doesn't necessarily mean there will be a problem next time. You have only 3 more AF's to go until the year is up and you can go back to the fertility clinic and get the ball rolling. I hope that you get the answers you are looking for, I know how hard it is to have to wait


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## Clarrie (Apr 16, 2011)

Hi Faithope,
Thanks so much for your reply. It's great to be in touch with someone who understands how this whole business feels. I don't even know if this is the right site for me as I didn't realise it's for people who are having IVF, which isn't me yet - but I've been so desperate to talk to someone who understands, I guess. You're right, it's only 3 months to go, but I just feel so upset that the people who could be helping me are making me wait - whilst I only get older! and i don't feel confident that they'll listen when they do see me ... anyway, just venting i suppose, but thanks for listening


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## Clarrie (Apr 16, 2011)

And sorry Faithope (hit post before I meant to, someone came in!) but sad to hear about your m/c and long wait too. I wish you all the luck in the world (with a tiny bit held back for me too, if that's ok .


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## Faithope (Jan 16, 2011)

*clarrie* This is definately the right site to be in hun-there are threads of all sorts on here and theres a thread for trying to conceive naturally aswell  If you have a look through you will find all sorts of help and advice, for whatever stage of TTC you are at. If you post in the introductions part of the site, you will get a mod come along and give you links to all parts of FF.

Stay and you will find all the support you need on your journey to getting your baby 

Good luck and keep in touch  

PS As you are over 35, the NHS will see you after 6 months of trying, not a year, hope this helps


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## Clarrie (Apr 16, 2011)

Thanks again Faithope. Actually, the 6 months/a year thing is also a bone of contention - my gp was happy to refer us after 6 months of trying after the miscarriage (in fact, she seemed happy with 6 months after starting trying, miscarriage or not, as 'successful pg hadn't been achieved') but when we got to the clinic the specialist not only stated that he will not treat couples until they've been trying for a year (over 35) or 18 months (under 35) but that for us the clock started again at my miscarriage - so one year on from then 'til he'll even consider looking at us, which will be nearly two years since we started trying aged 35. I was devastated to say the least when he told us that, and actually feel really angry at him for putting me through what so far has been a further 4 months of waiting, waiting, waiting and worrying. Even though I thought what you said - and told him so, and tried to argue - that we should be seen after 6 months, he would have none of it. Massive feelings of impotence to add to it all ... 
Only saving grace is my lovely gp   who has done as many tests as she can from her end so when we eventually do get to the clinic we'll be a  few steps ahead.


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## Faithope (Jan 16, 2011)

O I see hun, that is just harsh!! I really hope things move really quickly for you once the 3 AF's are out of the way, unless fate steps in


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