# All this week from Mon 19th at 7.55pm!! 4thoughtTV Channel 4



## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

As per subject title ...

Every day this week, 4thought TV is asking 'what matters most when it comes to adoption?'

It's only a 5minute programme but might be of interest   

X


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Thanks Dame Edna
I'm going to watch them. Missed last night, dud anyone see it? Any good?

GG xxx


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Hi Goofy  

I caught it last night.  It's only short but was interesting.  Last night's was a black adoptee talking about whether he thought race, culture was important when adopting.  He said that he felt very loved etc in his family but they were all white and lived in a white area so he felt very 'different' to everyone else which was at times very difficult for him.  He felt it was best to match according to race/culture  

As an adopter myself, I can see the benefit of matching on colour/race/ethnicity.  It makes sense to me but some will disagree.

I've sky+'d the series this week  

X


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## Lizard39 (Nov 25, 2011)

Thanks for flagging Dame Edna - we missed last night but have recorded to rest. Will try to catch-up on last nights - as sounds interesting


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Thanks DE

Our SW asked whether we'd consider different ethnicity and we were surprised as I asked one agency and they said not allowed. 
We said we'd consider as on the spot without time to think but thinking about it it wouldn't be the best thing for LO as we don't know enough about other cultures etc so think I'll retract that. 

Makes sense, must be tough feeling different.


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Goofy/Lizard  

Did you see tonight's?  His answer to the question, what matters most in adoption? .....'love'  

I wonder why his adoption broke down?  He did very well getting a degree, considering he spent most of his childhood in foster care and childrens homes.  I wonder if his age at adoption had anything to do with the breakdown?  He was 3, which is pretty late  

X


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Just in case anyone's interested you can view them all on their website http://www.4thought.tv/themes/what-matters-most-when-it-comes-to-adoption/1420?autoplay=true


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## gettina (Apr 24, 2009)

Ooh thanks summer girl, and for flagging dame Edna.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

We're finding them quite interesting but I wish they were slightly longer episodes.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Thanks Summer Girl

DE yes saw that one and it's hard to imagine why it went wrong isn't it?
He seems so well adjusted too but has had a terrible ordeal the poor guy. 
I think we will probably have a child of that age or older as going for siblings but just hope for the best I suppose.


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

I wonder whether a lot of it is parental expectations when it goes wrong? Our SW really drum in about our expectation of the child/children and the importance of not having preconceived ideas, she was very quick to say that it's not to say that adopted children can't do so well academically for example but it can be a struggle for them or maybe not bit if our expectation now is that they are going to breeze through education them we could be setting both the child and ourselves up for a big fall. It kind of makes sense. The young man on the video as you say seemed to be very well adjusted and has done so well for himself, he should be very proud of himself, it could have turned out so different for him with the breakdown and all the subsequent moves.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

I wonder if it has something to do with our understanding of attachment? 

If the young man is 21 and the placement broke down at 9, that was 12 years ago and a lot has changed with social workers understand and practise of attachment related issues.

That's the problem with the length of the programme, it leaves more unanswered then answered!


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