# Nobody's perfect: the qualities of good adoptive parents



## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Hi everyone - I found this on a local adoption collaboration site and thought it was excellent, and good to share.  I particularly like, "be able to stick at things" and "be able to demonstrate empathy".

What do you think? Are there any they've left out?

Good luck to all.  

Source:- http://www.adoption22.co.uk/site/page.aspx?pid=58


What does it take to make a good adoptive parent?  
 The list below tells you the kinds of things we're looking for - it's not in any specific order. Don't worry, we know nobody is perfect, but you're likely to meet some of the criteria.

Adoptive parents should: 


be committed  
be enthusiastic  
be flexible  
be stable  
be inclusive - willing to take on anything a child brings into the family from their past, to be accepting and non-judgmental about events that may haveinvolved birth parents, to be able to offer understanding and support about a child's past  
have enough living space to accommodate a new member of the family  
have good support networks of family and friends  
be responsive  
be good listeners  
be able to demonstrate empathy  
be consistent in their behaviour and able to be firm when necessary  
be reliable - people who do what they say they'll do  
be honest - about themselves, their own circumstances and feelings  
be able to communicate well, particularly with children  
be creative - people who are positive and able to look for solutions to problems, whether emotional, physical or practical, rather than seeing them as stumbling blocks, for example, finding new activities for children  
be able to stick at things - have another go if the last attempt fails 
 
be open to helping children reach whatever potential they have, rather than imposing their own views on what that should be. Adopted children often try desperately hard to please so that they can be loved. They will try and do something because they think the adoptive parent would like them to achieve it, rather than because they want to. If they fail, they're likely to get angry or sad 
 
be capable of putting other people's needs before their own. Children coming into a new home will need a great deal of time, energy and affection, rather like a newborn child. Adoptive parents need to be ready to give up their own activities for months, possibly years. It can be more difficult than it seems as often prospective adopters, if they have no children of their own, will have developed widespread networks of family and friends. The children won't fit around a busy social life as their needs must come first. The crucial thing for couples is the balance of support in the relationship, so that each partner can keep the other going. 
  (copyright 2007 Wigan Council)


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## KJB1978 (Nov 23, 2010)

I think they have missed a key one

To have the patience of a saint to get through the process  
and
To be able to laugh, have fun and be silly

Good list - thanks for posting!


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## Autumn Jade (Aug 29, 2010)

There should be a 'like' button for posts like that! x x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Thanks both, I'm glad you liked it.    And you're right, definitely patience and sense of humour!


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## PEJ (Jun 6, 2011)

This is great.   Thank you


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