# Alcohol / smoking while IVF, your thoughts?



## Milajayne (Jan 2, 2013)

I smoke maybe 1-2 cigs a week and about 10-15 on 1 weekend night with a bottle of wine. My OH is insistent that I quit all completely from 1st day of DR (5th feb) to preg test. I'm not sure I want to do that, esp as its my birthday On 15th feb and I always celebrate with friends. His thoughts are that I wouldnt want to look back and think I didnt give it my best shot. 
What's your thoughts folks? 
What's the advice you've had? 

Thanks and good luck ALL


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## reb363 (Mar 1, 2009)

IVF is hard enough without giving up the things you enjoy but he's probably right that you want to know you gave yourself the very best chance of success you could - and there are studies that show that both can reduce your chances of success.  Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear.  I was also told to give up caffeine.  Instead I ate my bodyweight in chocolate fingers.


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

if ivf doesn't work either because you m/c or because you don't get pregnant, it can be tough as a couple. the worst thing in the world is if you begin blaming each other for what happened. regardless of your own feelings, for the sake of strengthening your relationship, do this for your OH. if thjngs don't work out you will need their support, not to feel as if they blame you or you feel any guilt or doubt. quit now, go throughths treatment. you have the rest of your life to smoke if you want to but right here right now, give the treatment and your partner 100% of your commitment. they deserve it.


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

I absolutely agree with everything that gold bunny said. 

I'm in the same situation but I'm in your dh's shoes, I've given up absolutely everything.. But my dh still goes out with mates, gets drunk (ok, tipsy and only occasionally but still) I know however, that my blood rises every time he comes home and I can smell booze and ****, having a family is the most important thing to me and I feel like he is disrespecting my wishes and hopes by potentially jeopardising our chances. This might seem unreasonable but its all about the element of doubt, I know that our chances of ivf are low at best but unless we are both doing everything 100% that we can to improve our chances, if it doesn't work I'm afraid that in my despair ill have thoughts that he ruined our chances with that one cig on such and such a night, or the night he watched the Liverpool match and came home drunk..... I'm terrified it won't work and I'm terrified him not trying will drive a wedge between us in the aftermath... Is our relationship and chance of a family, the rest of our lives together not more important than a couple of hours out in the pub 

Sorry for ranting, I just thought it might give you some insight into the way your OH is feeling.

Dh and I have talked about this but it doesn't seem to stick, and its utterly infuriating..... Please talk to your oh!

X
Ducky


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I don't smoke, so can't really comment on that.  But I did drink the odd glass of wine when taking the drugs throughout both my treatments.

I always stopped by ET and both my fresh cycles have resulted in BFP's.

However, I do agree with what the others have said.

Good luck
Stacey
X


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

They actually did tests that showed an egg was a lot less likely to fertilize if the mother had smoked before EC.
You want to waste your money/time and hope?

Please have some consideration for yourself and your child/ren - I know some smokers give birth to healthy babies and so do crack addicts, but why risk it?
Better to invest your cash in some hypnotherapy to help yourself rather than another packet of useless ****!

(can you tell I hate smoking yet...? )

Best of luck whatever you decide! x


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## 2ndtimeround (Feb 8, 2012)

If you only smoke 1-2 per week and 10 at the weekend, you seem to be just a social smoker and research shows thats a lot easier to give up. If you can, I would stop. You want the best chance for your baby. I have cut down on alcohol although have one or two glasses of red wine a week, with my dinner.

Good luck. Wish you all the best xx


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

I think its a tricky one really as tbh the odd cig and the odd drink i dont believe makes any difference.  I mean my midwife said i could have the odd drink over xmas.  Neither my dh or me smoke but we do occasionally like a drink.  I stopped drinking once i started down reg but i never asked my dh to, he is not a heavy drinker and only drinks when out with his mates.


So tbh i think there is a huge difference between the occasional drink and other occasional cig compared to say smoking 10-20 a week and having several glasses of wine with your every evening meal.  But i do think that the comedown to a negative pg test sends you a bit loopie. and if you think its going to be something that you regret then simply dont do it.  


I think that we have to be as responsible for our own actions and to allow us to maximise the possibility of things working.  Yes a lot of ladies smoke and drink with no negative affects, but lets be honest when having ivf its different.  We are investing so much time, energy and money into this one change that it seams almost foolish not to make the most of it.


xxxx


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## utb (Feb 2, 2010)

Surely it comes down to what is the most important to you, having a smoke and a drink or a family ? I know that sounds really harsh but you got to give yourselves the best chance possible better to think you gave it your best shot instead of the possibility of blaming yourself and thinking if I had not done this or that.

Its not like you have to give up forever you can still have a good birthday without having a drink why not celebrate your birthday before TX and have one bog blow out.  Generally I stop drinking the week before (I dont drink much anyway) and dont touch a drop until OTD drowning my BFN sorrows.

Sorry if what I have said was not really what you wanted to hear but I think your OH is right.

x x x x


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## moonshine170676 (Sep 16, 2012)

Hiya,

I read your ciggy and your having your one and only NHS go? I say give it your best shot to give up! If it doesnt work you will be thinking.........was it me? and you will never know.
My OH and i smoked 20 a day, we gave up smoking before our treatment. We just picked a day and stuck to it. It was the first time ive ever tried to give up since starting in my teens.........im shocked at how easy it was for me...(i know everyone is different).
I asked my consultant about drinking and they said one or two on special occasions wouldnt hurt..........i decided to go with non alcoholic lager and was surprised at how "normal" it tasted.
Im 37 this year and i see your 39 this year............our bodies havent got long hun..........give it your 100% best shot.

good luck!


xxxx


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## littlerachywantsababy (Aug 28, 2010)

totally agree with UTB, what's more important? a drink and some **** or your chance to be a mother...crikey, i'm gobsmacked the NHS are even treating you when you're still drinking/smoking.
i agree with hubby too, you need to get your body in the best condition if you are going to put yourself through ivf.  IVF shouldnt be taken lightly, i've had over 5 years of treatment now and to think someone is getting 'free' goes who isnt committed really cheeses me off. sorry for the harsh reply but you really need to think about what you're doing, having gone through dozens of BFNs it's very hard emotionally and you really should try to do everything you can and follow NHS advice


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## kellyloup (Nov 19, 2012)

I echo everything that all of the other ladies have said and if I'm entirely honest, I'm trying to be really calm as I write this as I could scream!

The way I see it, this is such a tough, upheaval of a journey- both physically and emotionally without even a guarantee of the much wanted outcome; why add to the risk of it not working??

Like *Ducky*, my OH drinks and smokes in small amounts, but he has stopped over the last few weeks and as he calls it, is living like a monk- no smoking, alcohol or caffeine.

I gave up caffeine about a year ago (though not related to TTC) and whilst I've never smoked, I have stopped drinking all together. It is my Birthday coming up too, but I know that the best present I could ever receive was a BFP so I can handle laying off the cocktails and Pinot for a bit (hopefully it'll be practice for the BFP I pray for)

My OH went out a few weeks ago to watch the footy and so had a few beers and I was so upset; I thought we'd talked about this and we'd agreed to stop. I said to him that I didn't want to end up resenting him if it failed, thinking that he didn't give his all; I wasn't even aware that I was having these htoughts, but I clearly must have subconsciously... He has as I say, since stopped and is on board with the supplements and stuff too.

It might also be worth bearing in mind that an egg cycle is 90 days, so really, you need to start looking after yourself 3 months before treatment starts to maximise your chances.

I'm not preaching or telling you what to do, but you asked for opinions so here is mine for what it's worth! Good luck to you and all of the other ladies here who have offered their words

Short term pain, long term potential gain x


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## barbster (Jan 26, 2012)

Hi

I would have to agree with the others on this one. Being that you are in the postion of having a funded cycle would you really want to take any chances of it not working? 

If you carried on drinking and smoking and you did get BFP then that would be wonderful for you and you would be very fortunate.

If you didn't get a BFP would you think back and wonder that if you had not smoke or drank you could have been more successful? 

You could then find yourself in the positon of having to fund treatment yourself and it can become costly.

My opinion would be to give yourself the best chance that you have and think about what is important to you in relation to this.


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

i dont want to give a personal opinion either way so i wont, but, my friend does egg share, she is the donor. she smokes 20+ a day and works as a barmaid and drinks when the customers buy her 1.  she has done to egg shares so far and she  never stops cigs and alcohol. i was amazed clinic allowed her to go ahead, but thats another story.  on her first egg share her recipent got a BFP and clinic have said its born now. she got a BFN. 2nd egg share recipient got BFP and by calculation should be due any day now. friend got BFP but then mscarried. on each egg share they collected between 20 and 25 follicles. ths last egg share she was cancelled as her eostrodial tests showed OHSS and they counted 27 follies on the ultrasound. 

i dont know what the answers are about cigs and alcohol. i just wanted to share that and reiterate it has got to be down to your personal choice and what feels rght for you.

sorry if i have offended anyone with my friend, was not my intention. good luck with whatever you decide.

xxxxxx


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## Milajayne (Jan 2, 2013)

well!

This a clearly an emotive subject, especially from those who have been trying without success for a long time and I can understand why the need for the frustration and outrage in some of the replys.  

Its clear to me now that this is not a choice which is NOT just down to me, and thats why I find it hard!  
Goldbunny said 'give the treatment and your partner 100% of your commitment'.

I won't be smoking again and I will have the odd glass of wine, I'm being honest and realistic about that.  My husband will be expected to follow suit.  I do get worried that people can get obsessive, (and I can also understand why),but i've seen people here stressing about whether or not they should drink pineapple juice...however I understand this is a different kettle of fish. 

Thanks all for your considered reply's, I really appreciate the time you took. 
Good luck with your treatments.


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## Ivfmamma (Jun 10, 2012)

I don't drink at all, but did smoke until day of egg collection, I know it's quite shocking, I'm first to admit. I was otherwise healthy, hundreds of vitamins each day lol, no alcohol (never have drunk) ive stopped smoking probs 50 times over the years, one time being for 7 months then i stupidly started again   I go running most nights etc..

My main reason (other than addiction of course) for continuing to smoke was because my bmi was lbs away from tipping over the edge, id lost 3 stone before treatment & wasnt letting a couple of lb jepordise it, my clinic are very strict on bmi & weigh you at nearly every appointment, i was told i had 3 weeks to lose 5lb or treatment was delayed.... so if I stopped smoking I'd pile weight on (as I did before when I stopped a few years ago) & then i wouldn't of been able to continue with treatment anyway, so i smoked. Yes not as much as I really did cut down, but as far as I'm concerned if you have a *** occasionally your still a smoker, so I smoked all but not as much.

From that ivf round i got 15 eggs, 14 fertilised, only 1 made blast the rest dropped off. 

from the 30th November (egg collection day) I never smoked a single *** (honestly!) but then I still miscarried at 9 weeks, so I'm sat on the fence about doing this harms that & doing that harms this.

I don't smoke now & havent since that egg collection day last year,  I'm having round number 2 in approx 8 weeks, & I know this time I wouldn't have smoked, so (a) wont feel guilty & (b) won't blame myself if things happened to go wrong.

You've only got 1 attempt & I honestly think you should make it count.

I'm ashamed I smoked while having injections, but I did & I can only advise others not to do it (hope i dont sound like a preacher) & am sorry really dont want to sound like an agony aunt!

but i have wondered if my 'smokey' eggs (yes am a nutter!) caused my miscarriage, deep down i know it didnt as i didnt smoke when my little embryo went back in, but i have thought about if i was my fault or not. 

so i wouldnt want you to blame yourself if things didnt work out, anyway good luck. 

And to anyone who thinks I wasnt commited to having a child because i use to smoke, please don't make assumptions. No one knows what situations people have been through, or how long people have been ttc or what they have endured. The signature below people's posts only tells you a small portion of someones infertility story.

Smoking for me was a stress reliever & with my fertility journey up to now I'm surprised I wasn't on anything stronger than **** (lol)

my advice would be get yourself in tip top condition x


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## Milajayne (Jan 2, 2013)

thanks for you honesty IVFmamma, I can see it would be easy to blame the things you didn't do to optimise IVF.

I'm extremely healthy otherwise so at least there's that!


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## irishflower (Apr 13, 2012)

I would agree with everyone regarding how important it is to try and give it your best go, ivf success rates are low enough, why make them even lower for yourself?

However I think what troubled me the most about the original post was the reason given...that it's your birthday and you want to celebrate. Just sounds like such a trivial matter in the grand scheme of things. You do realise that once you are hopefully a mother you'll have to make bigger sacrifices than just not drinking/smoking on your birthday?!

I apologise for being judgemental but I really think it's important to see the bigger picture here and realise you'll have plenty of future opportunities to drink with friends, but what's most important to you right now?

Good luck with your treatment.


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## 2ndtimeround (Feb 8, 2012)

I think some of the reactions on here have been a little harsh...

I do understand how hard it can be to give something up.

I know it's not the same but i work 14 hour shifts at the hospital. I only do two a week but i absolutly love it. I'm also studying. Now MIL has almost begged me to stop all of this while i'm going through ivf. Others have made comments like "if you were really serious about having a baby you would stop". But how can I? If i stopped, and ivf didn't work, my whole world would fall down around me. I need to carry on as normal as i possibly can. I have taken next week off for my EC and ET and i have changed to short shifts for my 2WW but i need to carry on as much as i can as normally as I can. My consultant agrees it won't make a difference.

Whilst smoking is not the same, and i agree with the others it should be cut out because it can affect the babys development, it can cause lun g cancer in you (and i've seen it happen to young people) and it just not worth the risk. But i do understand the need for "normality" and a celebration because lets face it ladies, this infertility crap is pretty dam tough...

all the best


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## Dudders (Jun 18, 2012)

If not for treatment, when would you propose you give up ... BFP? 6 weeks pregnant, 12weeks?  1st Birthday?


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Well I'd just like to add I gave up smoking 3 years ago and after my 4th BFN yesterday I'd say if you want a drink have one if you want a ciggy have one as clearly me keeping squicky clean for years has done me no good and as my consultant and midwife nurse today there's A women get pregs whilst being drunk, B, they've seen drug addicts get pregs & the same goes for all the bad things we do. 

I even took 2 weeks off work this time so just goes to show follow your heart and do what ever is right for you as sometimes the whole do's and don'ts aren't the be all and end of!! X


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## yogabunny (Sep 12, 2012)

I was an occasional smoker, i'd manage for months without any, but always treated myself to one on special occasions! I stopped before treatment and it's great as I have a real reason now not to sneakily have a cigarette, it actually stopped me for good. My GP did recommend to me that i stop, said it was the most important thing i could do.

It's not just IVF obsessive-crazy-talk (which I can do too!   ) I think that smoking is something that people often cut out when TTC naturally to give themselves the best chance. And at the risk of sounding obessesed (!) I would be concerned about what damage I could be doing to an embryo.  

Its up to you, no-one else can judge. I agree with hbkmorris all these dos and don'ts can be worse than having the odd drink i am sure....Who knows... but for me its a good motivation to be healthy.


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## Milajayne (Jan 2, 2013)

Thanks again for your honest replies and also those from
PM's who felt they would be judged here given some of the angry comments.


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## Milajayne (Jan 2, 2013)

And hbkmorris. I'm so sorry for your bad news, I hope you have people around you taking care of you.


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

just do what you need to do to protect your relationship with your OH because when the going gets tough you need them to be there (from someone whose DH had to hold her while she m/ced and is grateful beyond belief that he was there and didn't just expect her to manage by herself) the strain of the journey is too much for some relationships and strengthens others. he needs to know you tried everything. x


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## NicL (Nov 11, 2011)

hi there

This is such a tricky topic i think because when doin ivf we are suddenly put under such different rules to the 'normal' people who can get pregnant naturally. Most of my friends who now have babies without doing ivf have been smokers and drinkers some even smoked during pregnancy (grrrr!). having just had a m/c i am trying to deal with my near alcoholic brother and partner expecting their second baby two days after me and it drives me wild that we put our bodies through so much and still no baby.  

As for me i dont smoke, never have and dont get it really, but i do like a drink and i totally understand the what some of the ladies have said on here about normality. Life is messed up enough when doing ivf worrying about "am i taking the right vitamins", "am i doing the injections right", "am i eating properly" etc it becomes so obsessive (well i was anyway  ). I cut down drinking before treatment (had a fabby girls weekend at centre parks and then was good from then on!). When down regging i had maybe a glass of wine one or two nights. Stopped when stimming though (except between ec and et when i had a glass of wine as it was my birthday. Figured eggs an sperms were safe in the lab so it couldnt do any harm!).

I got a bfp and despite the m/c i am happy i did everything i could. You have to find a balance that you are happy with. I personally think the odd glass of wine and dare i say it the odd ciggie (even though i hate smoking!) wont do any harm but its how you will feel about it that is the issue. Will you blame yourself? After et we were told all sorts of stuff not to do - dont have sex, lift heavy things but she as much as said to us it wont do any harm but you will blame each other if you dont get the result you want. 

you'll find your balance and it will be fine (and you know what - the not drinking - nearly not as hard as you imagine it will be! I managed a night out til 2am sober - first time ever i think. hardest thing is the stress of trying to hide your non-drinking so people dont think you are preggo already!) 

xxx


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## mariageorgeta (Oct 30, 2012)

Hello
don't be so mean ladies, don't judge......you know Milajayne, do what you feel will be right, but do it because you want it, not for your friends, husband or family....live as normal like before tx, stress its not good, if you are very stressed your body will reject everything,but i think will be great to take some vits, omega, Q10, iron, folic acid- for dhea its late now.....do just what your mind and heart wish, this is my advice. please ladies, don't start to judge me now cos you don't have the right while you are not in my shoes.
Lots of   for all, sending you warm hugs hbk, sorry for your BFN


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## Maisyz (Dec 15, 2010)

Do what you want. If you want to smoke, drink, whatever do it. I did everything right  no smoking (never have gross), no alcohol, caffeine free, gluten free , organic blah,blah,blah and it failed lots so I doubt it makes any difference at all.


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## nikki76 (Feb 1, 2011)

Lovely I know it's hard but if u can't stop for an ivf, wud u stop if u were pregnant? What if ur treatment does work and ur lo is growing in u, wud u honestly be prepared to stop then?

Good luck with tx x


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

I think its about finding that line and tbh that line is slightly different for everyone.  Personally i dont think i would drink or smoke but i would try and eat healthily but i wouldnt do anything beyond that.  I also kind of think if its going to work it will.  I dont really believe in anything else other than that.


I also think its important not to give up the whole of your life to treatment that may or maynot work, yes give it everything you have got emotionally but other things are important to.  Some ladies get lucky and treatment works first time, others have several gos and for some it never works, you just dont know how its going to turn out, so giving up everything and completely restricting your life does not seam the right way to go to me.  


xxxxxxxxxx


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## irishflower (Apr 13, 2012)

I think it's true that you can go overboard and restrict yourself too much. However the ladies for whom treatment has sadly failed even though they did everything right, I don't think that's good reason to think ah well, should just drink and smoke as much as you like. There are most likely other reasons why their treatment failed that were always going to be there. However, if you DON'T have those reasons, you're seriously damaging egg quality and increasing risk of miscarriage by drinking and smoking so why take this chance? By all means don't give up everything you love, but just be as sensible as you'd have to be when pregnant!


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

dh: i wondered if you might get me some beer while you're in tesco..
me: i don't think that's a good idea. blah... ivf... blah, blah...
dh: well, i'll leave it with you..
..
....
..
me (on returning): would you believe it, John Smith's make oranges! (beams at dh and hands over bag of fruit)


i'll leave it up to you to picture DH's face..


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## Ivfmamma (Jun 10, 2012)

Goldbunny - my husband & I went for a meal tonight, he ordered a beer, I kicked him under the table & he changed it quickly for a coke! lol 

when he had 2 cans last week watching the footie i gave him double vitamins to counteract the larger lol sends you nuts this doesn't it x 

Hope your ok? haven't spoken for a while x


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## greatgazza (May 27, 2010)

i think as some have said you should do what's right for you. and i also like the phrase that you need to 'take the path of least regret' whatever that may be for you. i've never been one of those to give up everything and start eating mung beans.  someone said that being an occasional smoker it should be easier to knock it on the head but when i did an Allen Carr stop smoking clinic they said that can actually be harder.  another FFer i met years ago when i first went to reprofit said do whatever stresses you the least and if trying to stop lots of stuff totally stresses you out then don't do it and don't beat yourself up about it.

i'm the youngest of 8 and my mum smoked all her adult life, and i would have thought, way back then, through all her pregnancies and there's nothing wrong with any of us. i'm certainly not advocating doing that but i do think there's a balance to find and driving ourselves nuts about one more thing to worry about isn't a great idea either. 

obviously you need to think about DH too tho, as if he were resentful of you if it didn't work that would be difficult.  i only had myself to worry about and only me to blame myself and no one else. 

pretty much all my friends in relationships/married got pg when drunk or didn't know for a while they were pg and had been on hen nights or other nights out and it made no difference. i know ivf isn't the same but Dr Stepan at reprofit advises his women to have a glass of wine the night of ET and chill the heck out!

Good luck!

GGx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Milajayne, sorry you feel others have been a little harsh with you here. To be honest I think you got some very honest and blunt replies which is to be expected for such a controversial question. At the risk of igniting a debate it's quite unusual for NHS funded cycles not to come with the caveat that you cease smoking before treatment commences. In that respect it is fortunate for you that you have a choice whether to quit or not, rather than be forced into it. 
It's a shame that others have expressed privately that they cannot openly post balancing or alternative views here. I think on such am emotive subject it would be good to see some balance because I am sure you are not the first (nor will be the last) person in this situation and I think it would be good to see both sides of the argument. I believe we can all behave without hostility nobody need fear posting. 

To the question at hand - i.e. should you give up smoking and drinking now before D/R - well the purely logical answer is yes. If you want to maximise the chances of your IVF working then you should definitely stop smoking. Drinking is a bit more of an unknown, particularly if we're talking a glass or two of wine, but smoking is well researched and all the evidence overwhelming indicates that it is detrimental for fertility.

That said I know that sometimes a desire to give up smoking is not necessarily in synch with the ability to do so; people do underestimate just how hard it is to give up smoking and it's very easy to say "just give up" if you've never smoked or you've managed to kick the habit. Especially now when there is so much help for people to give up and people assume it's easier. I know first hand, having lived with a 20-30 a day smoker who tried numerous times to give up, just how hard it is, despite ample motivation and willpower. I must admit I am unsure from your posts whether quitting permanently is what you want, or if this is something you're doing for/during IVF/pregnancy.

As others have said, we give up so much of ourselves to our infertility; we compromise and make so many adjustments just to live with the process that it's really important not to lose sight of doing the things we can to find the joy in life too. Sometimes it's really hard to find that balance. If your weekend treats are something you look forward too and can help you take your mind off the process for a while, then I see no reason why you should give them up. But perhaps you could compromise with your DH and agree to give up smoking if you can continue to have the odd glass of wine with, perhaps a free pass to have more on your birthday? Or perhaps you could look into replacing the cigarettes with some E cigarettes, which many people find a good alternative to smoking; with those, while you will still be inhaling nicotine, it would be pure nicotine and many of the other harmful ingredients in cigarettes would not be present so it may be far better than a real ciggie.

There's some information about E cigarettes on the "giving up smoking" area here: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=90.0

And some information about smoking and IVF / fertility in these links:
http://humrep.oxfordjournals.org/content/21/11/2930.full
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/577174_3
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7238-smoking-slashes-womens-chances-of-ivf-success.html

Ultimately none of us can tell you what is best for you to do; I think greatgazza's "path of least regret" comment is spot on. Whatever happens now - whatever you do - you need to be able to live with whatever the consequences are.

 with your treatment.

/links


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Mung beans are delish GG 

X


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## greatgazza (May 27, 2010)

haha!! i'll get some to go with my quinoa then! 

GGx


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