# 4 Failed IVF's honest Advice Needed. Surrogocy or FET? All input welcome



## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

Hi Ladies,

I'm really hoping for some advice and reality. I have to make a decision on whether to have a FET or have my amazing sister to be my surrogate!

A little history of previous failures: 
Reason for infertility - Hydro - tubes clipped.
IVF 1. Egg sharing with donor sperm 20 eggs. Only 3 fertilised of the 10 - Embryos 3 day transfer with an 8 cell and 5 cell - BFN
IVF 2. Egg sharing with DH sperm 10 eggs. 4 of the 5 fertilised - Embryos 5 day transfer 5AA - BFN
IVF 3. This was a FET with my remaining 2 embryos 3AA & 3BC - Positive test for 1 day then BFN. Chemical pregnancy, BETA LIKE 15 
IVF 4. 14 Eggs (in a clinic trial regarding ICSI), 7 embryos - 2X 5AA transferred - another BFN!!

I have 5 embroys left - 5AAx3 and 5ABx2 

I have thyroid issues, only slight raised NK cells, my af comes early so ive taken gestone. Done full cycle with steroids. DrG and IVIG with intraplids.

I really did think that this one would have worked through Dr G. I was given a success rate of 77%. I don't have much money left but I'm lucky that the NHS offer surrogacy. My sister has 3 children and wants me to move in with her (shes single). make my shifts at work part time and basically look after her kids. Which of course I'm happy to do. But I really want to know what use are thoughts were on if I should be taking this option. I feel like ive tried everything but a uterus biopsy but, either way, Ive treated it on my previous cycles.

I feel really lost and am really down about this. I cant believe I am here. I feel like I have to make the decision soon, so I can move forward. It makes me feel worse not having a plan in placexx


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## Lovingwomen (Sep 14, 2013)

Hello,
That is a lot of heartache and pain to go through. You still have 5 wonderful chances, please don't give up but have a good chat with your sister about what is best. Maybe have one last tx yourself and then move on to the surrogacy plan. Either way your going to be that baby's mum it wil be about when the times right for you to move on to the next stage. You have been through so much I pray it works out for the best for you which ever direction you take xxxxxxx


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## danceintherain (Apr 16, 2013)

Sorry you've had such a tough time. In your position I would probably go ahead with a FET. 

It sounds as if your most recent frozen cycle resulted in some good quality blasts, and for that reason if I were in your position I would go ahead with the FET unless your consultant suspects there is a reason for implantation failure that hasn't been addressed (other than embryo quality). 

I am finally pregnant after my 7th cycle (2 fresh, 5 frozen, transferred 9 blasts in total). I transferred blasts each time, and was told the clinic success rate for my age with blasts is 50%. It was hard to keep going but our consultant (who was brilliant) insisted that the likelihood was we would be successful if we continued with the the same protocol, it was 'just' a case of persevering. I had started to wonder whether I had some sort of immune issue etc, but my successful cycle was simply a natural FET. 

I know what you mean about needing a plan. Perhaps you can book another review with your consultant to discuss options. Good luck with whatever you decide to do xxx


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

Wishingonastar,

You've been through so much already on your journey, & in your shoes I would leap at the kind offer of your sister to act as a surro for you. 

I have tubal infertility too, & to be honest even when they're clipped there is still the potential for them to cause problems. 

Your sister clearly can implant & gestate, & as a family member & a host surro (using embryos created from your eggs as opposed to hers) with 3 kids of her own, the likelihood of any of the common problems with surrogacy eg financial exploitation, surro refusing to give up baby etc is very low.

I know it's a very personal decision but if you transferred all of them yourself & it didn't work you would always wonder what if..? The path of least regret was a very helpful concept to me during the treatment phase of my infertility journey.

Best wishes,

B xxx


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## RB76 (Jul 27, 2011)

I was thinking the same as Bombsh3ll, you don't want the regret of thinking, would those embryos have survived if...

I have this with my twins to some extent - would they both be here and healthy if transferred separately. Again, as said above, you have to do what you can live with most easily with any of the possible outcomes.

I don't mean this to be at all insensitive to any ladies desperate to experience pregnancy, but personally I hated pregnancy and would happily never be pregnant again. However being a parent, I love more than any other experience I will ever have so I would endure more tx and the pregnancy for the outcome of, hopefully, another child. If your sister can help you achieve a healthy child in the end, then I'd be inclined to accept her offer personally. Of course, that's just me and my awful pregnancy experiences, it's not the same for most!

Good luck x


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

It might be worth doing endometrial biopsy with Professor Quenby in Coventry.  Taking prednisolone when you have low endometrial NK cells can make matters worse.  Surely as the embryos are frozen there is no rush to use them before you could organise a biopsy and wait for the results.

Your sister is very kind to offer but it's a huge undertaking to look after her 3 children if things didn't work out as planned.
TCCx


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## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

Thanks so much for your comments.
I honestly don't know where I'd be without fertility friends. 
I have a lot to think about. I don't think I cope with the bfns as well as others. At my last egg collection I spoke with the doctor about they hydro still playing up and he said it can only leak in like 1 in 300.
But how do they know, is that statistic right.
Because I've got anti thyriod anti bodies I would also have to pay for Dr G and for the biopsy and money is starting to be a real worry. So I have to take that into consideration.
I'm going to take some time and have a think about it.
It's really nice to know I'm thinking about the right options.

Xxxx


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

Ah if the hydro have only been clipped then there could lie your answer.  Have a look on tubal factors thread.  Most ladies with hydro have tubes removed to get a BFP.  I know more than one lady who has had previously clipped tubes removed and got the BFP.
TCCx


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