# Own egg or donor egg at 44 ?



## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Hi . I would really appreciate any advice on the decision to move forward with own egg or de . 


I am 44 and on my final round of three goes of ivf with my own egg. It’s not been easy. My first go the embryo was frozen on day three . Second go I had a transfer but it didn’t work and I’m now on my third go but looks like it will cancelled . The quality of the embryos have been top quality but not tested . They have only let them get to day 3 before putting back or frozen. i have had many cancellations due to thin lining or early lh surges or cysts getting confused with follicles . Hence even getting to a transfer for me isn’t easy.

Part of the reason for going to de now isincreasing my odds with an embryo and I would have more confidence of working with de and if de doesn’t work then I wouldn’t be thinking oh it’s my egg quality . If I need treatment then that would be exposed a lot quicker .I’ve started to realise getting to embryo transfer is not as easy as I thought it would be. 

there is an old thread on here asking the same question but only a couple of responses .

Because of the doom and gloom statistics at my age and the sheer heartache of it all and the sense on limbo with poor odds with oe I am tempted to do a final egg collection with oe (when I can ) and freeze the embryo (if it’s any good ) and leave them on ice and just move forward with donor egg first and then /when / if I’m successful and have my baby then look to have my oe ones transferred in a year or so. 

I would like two children and I think it’s impossible for me to hope for two of my oe would work since I am only
Doing natural ivf due to my low follcile count and amh ranges by from 0.5 to 0.8 . Last test was 0.8 weirdly enough it went up 🤷🏻‍♀️.

from what I’ve read on here and elsewhere no mother who has gone for de has regrets and adores Their children and ones with oe and de feel the same about their children . I thank these lovely ladies who have shared these feelings which have helped enormously .

i don’t plan to tell people if I go for de so I can’t really ask anyone their thoughts .

time is not on my side to keep going with oe so I have to draw a line . My partner had covid last year and his sperm took such a hit that it wouldn’t really have been possible to get pregnant naturally however he recovered and his Sperm has dramatically recovered to then make natural Conception possible so a teeny part of me thought maybe just leave it and try naturally but I feel with that I am
Now at an age where I want the baby now and not be any older for my first . The heartache of negative pregnancy tests month after month has took its toll so I don’t think I could just relax into that .
Thanks for any advice or view x


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## Sami78 (7 mo ago)

Hi @PDream1980 , sorry to hear about your previous experiences.
Im 44 in December and no children at present. I got married 4 years ago and started to try to have a family then but no luck. I was told my amh was significantly low and fsh too high to be considered for ivf few years ago. I did then fall pregnant naturally but m/c at 10 weeks. We did keep trying but no luck, went to a few doctors who all said my chances of conceiving and having good quality eggs was significantly low as only one or two follicles and OE ivf odds were same as natural. Then from last year my periods have been erratic and even stopped for a while.
Due to all the above and also wanting to have more than one child, my husband and I decided to go down the donor egg route. It wasn’t an easy decision for me especially when I look at my nieces and nephews and see my sisters features and personality in them but I know I have. A lot of love to give and as you said from what I’ve read on here regardless of how conceived they are yours x
I have some frozen embryos now and looking to hopefully go for implantation in a few weeks time - all depends on that lining now I guess?!?


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## MommyKenny (Jul 9, 2019)

PDream1980 said:


> Hi . I would really appreciate any advice on the decision to move forward with own egg or de .
> 
> 
> I am 44 and on my final round of three goes of ivf with my own egg. It’s not been easy. My first go the embryo was frozen on day three . Second go I had a transfer but it didn’t work and I’m now on my third go but looks like it will cancelled . The quality of the embryos have been top quality but not tested . They have only let them get to day 3 before putting back or frozen. i have had many cancellations due to thin lining or early lh surges or cysts getting confused with follicles . Hence even getting to a transfer for me isn’t easy.
> ...


Hi, don't feel too disappointed in trying the DE route. We had both donor egg and sperm and we feel very lucky to have our son Zachary. He is a bubbly little boy at 2 now. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck on your next cycle - never give up!


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