# Rainbow network advice needed/dilemma



## silverbream (Feb 10, 2008)

Hi, i've been reading these about the rainbow network, does anyone know how you do access the parenting pages? i've been posting on this site for a while and here is my dilemma:

I failed my first IVF with a known donor a couple of weeks ago,very disappointing but the support i got from the boards here was lovely and very helpful. He was someone i found from the FSDW site, a very nice married man and we did try the syringe method twice, but with me based in Brighton and him in london, it was just too impractical. (neg both times obviously!!) As he had his frozen sperm at the clinic, and because of my age (41) the doctor at the clinic said this was my best chance so i've been having treatment in london where his sperm is.

Went to the doctor post failed IVF, said i had responded incredibly well  to my failed cycle in spite of being a BFN and that if they tweaked the stimms a bit, i'd have a good chance as everything else is very much in order..this has got me thinking!

I feel that before i go down the path of busting my crippled finances even more, and seeing that i did respond really well, maybe i am still fertile and should find another syringe donor, someone who lives nearby and who can come regularly (no pun intended) and do the syringe method just to see (although time is also running out)

Its tricky and i am in areal dilemma, i asked everyone i knew!! all the blokes, all my friends, and  there ought to be someone in brighton but the only guy I met i did not like, and that is just so important for the child, which is why i chose the london man. I liked him immediately and felt he was a kind gentle person and my feelings have not changed. He will have some involvement but limited.

should i stick with him and pay another shed load of money or try and find a local boy? If so, any one got any tips for finding one? I don't really hang out in gay bars any more. As far as involvement, that is up to the chap although i would want his name offthe birth cert. so partner can adopt if she wants to at a later date (if we work out our rel but that is another story!!).

would welcome your suggestions and what others have done in a similiar situation....


xxxsilverbreamxxx


----------



## pruflo (May 3, 2005)

Hi Hon,

I would like you always want to know if i could have concieved naturally (as it were) before I spent a fortune on treatment. I dont know how to go about finding a donor I am afraid but I would suggest giving yourself a time limit - say 9 months to try this route and then revert back to IVF.

Does that make sense ??

Good luck

Kate


----------



## silverbream (Feb 10, 2008)

Yes, the problem is my age!! Doctor said that i should get on with it as I'm 41! Not to leave it too many months....

Don't know waht to do, am thinking of turkey baster at least one more time with my london chap, if it can be arranged somehow and then one more round of ivf, wondering also if ivf inhibits the chances of 'natural' conception as the ovaries are so forced and all the eggs used up?!?? Have no idea how it works!!

Its all such a dilemma, if the doc could asay that my biological age was lower it would be differnt but he can't..FSH levels and all that

xxsilver


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Silver It is hard logistically as we live the opposite way round to you guys and the 3 nights in a row when the OPK smiles is hard.  If I were you I would arrange a clinic where the guys sperm is frozen (or have it moved to a local clinc that would treat single women) and try AI's at the same time.  I used to say to myself that it was only 55 mins on the train from Victoria to Brighton and if it works is worth it!

We do have millions of eggs, but probably at our age (I'm nearly 40) hundreds of thousands left and IVF only forces a small number out - in my case 5 this cycle so far!

Goos Luck hun


----------



## amcs (Mar 8, 2008)

Hi,
I know where you are coming from, my partner and i have been looking for a donor for ages now and have had no luck. We too are opening our options to include other methods.
Good luck.
A.x


----------



## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello there

It is quite a dilemma. My situation is that I could well end up paying a fortune for iui's/ivf's when all I need (as far as I'm aware) is sperm. There is a possibility I might have found a donor but he isn't local so I'll be in the same situation. 

Good luck

Emma


----------

