# Is it normal to be nervous? *



## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

Hi everybody. I'm so glad to be joining a community. This is my first post in a forum, and the first fertility network I've joined. I'm about to turn 36 and have been considering starting to try to have a baby for about a year. Two challenges though; I'm single (going through a sad divorce) and various tests I've had done at the Lister, just to measure my fertility levels, have come back not so positive. The odds are stacked against me, it seems.

I'd love to chat to others out there about these topics; test results and what they really mean, whether it's crazy to think about having a baby on my own; a lovely gay friend would like to co-parent, should I consider it? Home insemination or clinic? Oh, and the fear and loneliness that's kicking in already.


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## Strawberries (Apr 6, 2005)

Hi Zoopy,

Just like to say hello and  to fertility friends 

Strawberries x


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## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

Thank you Strawberries. It's a bit overwhelming right now!


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## boonbo (Dec 18, 2007)

Hi Zoopy, welcome to the board lol, im also new'ish.
I think its lovely that ur friend is willing to "help u out", if u did choose to take up on his offer i would personaly try home insemation 1st as it can be very expencive to use a clinic.
I wish u all the best in what ever u choose


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## boonbo (Dec 18, 2007)

P.S. There is a board for single woman that u may find helpful hun.


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## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

Thank you  . It's so lovely to get replies. Best of luck to you too. xx


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## *katie* (Nov 9, 2004)

Hi Zoopy and welcome to you hun, this is a great place for support and friendship    Yes, it certainly is normal to feel nervous when facing what feels like an overwhelming journey ahead at times, but I hope that joining here and chatting to everyone, especially others in similiar positions will make the journey a lot less daunting for you.  

I'm sure one of the moderators will be along soon to post you some links to threads which you might like to join in on, but of course just have a wander around and post anywhere, you're most welcome!

Good luck!

Katie


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## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

Thank you Katie. And, wow, twins! That's great. I hope it's going well. 

Is there a place here to talk about different clinics? I've been to the Lister for my last consultation and it seemed quite good, but they mucked up a test result recently, and didn't bnother to call me to let me know. Just wondered if there's somewhere to share thoughts. 

Zoopy


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## kazzyg (Aug 5, 2007)

Hi Zoopy,

Just wanted to say hi and reassure you that you're not alone!

I have slightly different circumstances to you - my hubby has zero sperm count so thats why we're looking into donor sperm - but share your feelings of nervousness, and "am I doing the right thing?". 

You have found a really supportive and informative site, so I wish you well. 

Kazzyg xxxxxxx


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## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

Hi Kazzyg, thank you for your lovely welcome.Yes, it's nerve-wracking isn't it? So many things to consider.


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## *katie* (Nov 9, 2004)

Hi Zoopy,

Sorry to hear the Lister mucked up some test results .

If I'm right in thinking the Lister is in London, then you could always try the London area thread;

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=345.0

Or perhaps the Starting Out & Diagnosis Area

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=110.0

If it's a specific test you're looking for a bit of info on you could also try a search using the search option which should appear at the top of your screen, and if you don't have joy that way I'd maybe post a question in the "Peer Support" section.

Hope that's of some help!


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi Zoopy,

Welcome to Fertility friends, this site is fantastic for support, information and friendship  

Good luck on your journey

Huggles
Nikki


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hello! There's a Lister girls thread under the clinics board, and as someone's told you, a single women's thread.

What test did they muck up?

I had my tests at the Lister too, and you can see by my signature what my results were - it just shows anything's possible!

What were your results?

xx


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## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

Ah, a Lister girls thread. That's really useful. thank you. Great to see there's a bump! Congratulations.

These are my results:

November 2007 (I'll put June 2007 figs in brackets):
FSH 6.8 U/L (3.1)
LH 5.2 U/L (4.4)
Estradiol 124 pmol/L (243)
AMH 0.8 mcg/L (1.5)


The test they mucked up was inhibin B in November. They missed it off the form, so it wasn't done. I really wanted this one too, because the June result was poor at 15 ng/L.

I'm 36 in February, and these results, especially inhibin b have suggested an advanced biological age. But if I'm honest, I don't really understand them. I will get another appointment with the lister, for an explanation, but i feel like i want to be armed with a bit of knowledge before I go. Do any of the figures make sense to you?
Best wishes

Zoopy


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Well my bump is down to the Jinemed in Turkey not the Lister! Still, the Lister are very professional and have good stats.

It sounds like you're in the same sort of position as I was. For what it's worth I believe, through rudimentary research, that the AMH is telling you you won't get many eggs. But your FSH is telling you they're still fairly young eggs, and therefore should be good quality.
I got four on each cycle - at the Lister and at the Jinemed.

I took a steroid hormone I got from America called DHEA for four months before my last tx - the results of a recent study showed a 28 per cent pregnancy rate in couples with low ovarian reserve who took DHEA, but an 11 per cent rate for those who didn't.
It's cheap as chips - get it from www.agestop.com - about the only cheap thing in this game! Take up to 75mg a day for four months. I also took L-arginine, zinc, folic acid and selenium from Holland & Barrett.

See, all your results are fine apart from the AMH - same as me. It means you haven't got much time left to pursue this, but still take the time to prepare properly - it's so worth it. Four months of DHEA will stand you in such good stead.

xxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Oops! I didn't say - there was a noticeable difference in quality after the DHEA. At the Lister my eggs were 'fragile', but they weren't in Turkey.

How much of the success is down to being relaxed and on holiday I don't know!


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## Zoopy (Dec 27, 2007)

That's really interesting, Miranda. Thank you very much. And really helpful too. It's great to get an interpretation that I can understand! 

I may go ahead with a gay friend of mine, in a co-parenting set-up. This could be ideal (sorry, did I say I'm single?) Apparently, his sperm would have to be quarantined for six months before we can go ahead, and I'm concerned that this might be too long, that I might miss my opportuntity. Sorry to ask you such difficult questions, but what do you think? Please don't feel obliged to reply. i know that's a difficult question to ask someone!


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

No, I think that would be perfect timing - it'll give you a chance to get all vitamined and DHEA-ed up before giving it a really good bash.

I wasn't going to go into all the co-parenting stuff, because it's your decision! It's probably what I'd do too in those circs, but I think it would also be good for both of you to have counselling beforehand, to know that you are both pulling in the same direction. You may be great pals now, but what would happen if anything went wrong? Because it's not a conventional relationship there's so many things the law doesn't cover and it would feel better to have everything set in stone I'm thinking. For all of you.

That's the main worry I'd have, but it's also wonderful that the child will have two parents not one.

The second thing that would occur to me is if you did subsequently get together with someone who might feel threatened by the relationship between your pal and his child.
But then, you're not going to want someone that insecure around your child anyway!

Six months at this stage feels forever - but it gives you the chance to put everything in place. You can always give it several tries in a few months once the sperm's ready.

But for now get it set up, get it on a sound legal footing and order your vits and you'll know you've done everything you can.

xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Zoopy, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Well done on making the decision to have a baby - never an easy thing to do as a single woman but you are certainly not the only one here to have done so.
By now you will probably have found the Single Women boards but I will leave you a link just in cae you have not:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=403.0

We also have a Lister thread (on the ICSI board but open to anyone regardless of what type of tx you are having):

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=121710.150

Here's some more links you might like to check out:

*Meanings ~ *CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk - Community board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck! 

C~x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support and i wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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