# Hello, may I join you :)



## Bubalu (Jun 30, 2012)

, I'm 44 yrs old and ttc my second take home baby. I had my DD at 40 yrs and foolishly thought that the next baby would be at least conceived in the year that followed. It took a year for my cycles to return after having DD and another year to conceive. That would have been fine but unfortunately I miscarried (10 weeks) so back to TTC and in the next 12 months I had two more mc's (6 and 8 weeks). It's been a full year since my last mc and I've been starting to feel like my chances are slipping away with each cycle. I've had tests regarding my mc's and nothing came up so it's thought that my egg quality is just not up to the job. I've tried various supplements like agnus castus, EPO, B-vits (of course with conception multivits and folic acid) but I'm just sticking to the vitamins and FA now as I'm not entirely sure that I need the others. What keeps me going is the fact that I still have pretty regular cycles (once they recover from mc) and charting tells me that I'm ovulating...I just hope that persistence will be rewarded soon. 

I've not been to the doctors or had tests done regarding my age and general fertility. I kinda think I'll just get told that I'm stupid for trying at my age so it's nice to know that I'm not the only 'stupid' one out there  

Oh and I'm currently in the TWW at 1 dpo so really hoping that this is my healthy egg/sperm combo! 

I hope that it's OK to join without any specific infertility problems and already having had one child. I look forward to meeting you and sharing our TTC journeys.


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## memebaby (Mar 17, 2011)

hello bubalu

very nice to meet you and welcome. I have mainly been posting on the over 40s current cyclers thread. I am 42 (43 in Nov) and like you I aready have a dd. Mine  is 4 years old.

I also thought my much wanted sibling would  pop along easily but it did not happen. I ultimately tried a cyle of IUI (unsuccceful) and then my first IVF this month which was a BFP. Very early days yet. im only 5 weeks but cautiously happy.

You have a very good ability to get pregnant but how devastating to suffer that amount of miscarriages. I am no doctor but i firmly believe that sometimes its just a case of absolute perseverence. Your body clearly is capable of sustaining and carrying a pregnancy to full term even in your 40's. That has to be a good sign.You do not seem to want to try assisted reproduction so keep the faith and keep trying and I pray you will have success.

You are not stupid and at 44 you are no age...........................and if you are stupid well there are a load of us exactly the same on this thread and i have found all the ladies ive met here to be lovely , kind , level headed and realistic people who just want the opportuniuty to be a mum...........and why shouldnt they

big hugs to you on your journey


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## Bubalu (Jun 30, 2012)

Hello Memebaby. Thank you so much for your lovely reply. Congratulations on your BFP. It must be a very nerve racking time for you at the moment. I hope so much that your bean is a sticky one. Since you don't mention that you've suffered any losses previously, you're in with a good chance of taking home your baby  I haven't gone down the assisted route as I assume I wouldn't get anything done on the NHS and we just can't afford private as I recently lost my job. If I get another job soon, I may look into it. It also worries me that having had 3 mc's my chances of having more are very high now and so it could take quite a few attempts to get a sticky bean. 

What I do want to do is look more into what I can do to improve my egg quality. I did start taking DHEA and co enzyme Q10 but stopped as they made me feel odd. I may start that again though. I've lost a few pounds to get down to a healthy BMI but think that exercise is now my next challenge but it's hard to get time to do that at the moment.


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## de_vi (Feb 19, 2012)

hello Bubalu,

(and welcome!)

good luck with your natural cycle this month! 

We are quite new to this world of assisted fertility and I have been reading lots and lots recently, and just this weekend I read a book by a lady in a similar situation - having had a DD at 38 she was then trying and trying naturally again and it did not work, until they checked her FSH level which had gone shyhigh (42) , just as she was 42 years of age, too. With that ALL doctors and ALL clinics told her there was no way she would ever conceive again, she did not even qualify for OE IVF - and so she then went on her own journey and found her own "treatment plan" (diet & exercise & spiritual things) and did conceive again - at the age of 44 (I think, dont remember exactly). It's called "Inconveivable" by Julia Indichova , and she also has a website www.fertileheart.com
(gentle warning: the website is a bit very much US-style like but once you are past that initial recoiling at the thousands-of-over-the-top-testimonials the content is really useful. well, I found the book very inspirational - not so much HOW she did it, but more so that there is somebody who in face of the whole medical community who had given up on her did make this happen for herself).

there also is a whole section here on FF on secondary infertility - I havent looked there as is not our case but seems like a good board for you?

and ultimately you may want to look into immune issues. also a whole section on here, in "Diagnosis" , I think. especially if it is immunes which is your issue then the recurrence of the m/c makes it worse as your immune system gets more and more activated to fight against what it recognises as "altered self", the embryo. you can have the immunes checked separately from IVF treatment. I don't know how it works in the UK (as we live abroad), but I hope in the immunes section on here they may help you find a clinic/doctor which does these tests - and then at least you would know for sure. (Tammy Wynet on here recommended the book by Dr. Alan Beer "Is your body babyfriendly?" - very useful wrt immune issues, albeit a bit scientific - I would fall asleep after reading for a while...)

and no  you're absolutely not stupid for trying at your age!! I think you are very brave for not giving up, and following your dream. I really hope it will come true for you! 

de_vi

/links


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## Bubalu (Jun 30, 2012)

Hi de_vi,
thank you for taking the time to reply with so much great advice  I will look into the book that you mentioned. I think I came across her website once before. I find that it always helps to have something to work on to improve chances rather than just hoping that I get pregnant and carry a baby full term...it feels like I have some control over it all and that I'm giving it the best shot possible. 

I will also look at the secondary infertility section (hadn't noticed that). I did have some immunology tests done at the recurrent mc clinic and they showed nothing so the doc just thought it was most likely down to poor egg quality. The Alan Beer book also sounds interesting...I'm into science so should be right up my street....and I'm not falling asleep to easily so it could be useful for that if nothing else  

Wishing you all the best in your journey  
Bubalu x


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## earthweave (Jul 9, 2012)

Hello,
I'd like to join you all too! I'm 44 next month, have a lovely DD who is 8 and have been very actively trying to conceive since May 2011 (we tried before that too, but got nothing). I had a miscarriage in March this year at 6 1/2 weeks and so now we're back to the heartbreaking cycle of trying and disappointment. We are close to giving up -  but hope just wont go away so we keep having 'one more try'. I'm currently CD3.

B


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

Welcome Bubalu - have you heard of this stuff. I am not actually TTC naturally but I take it to regulate my cycle and I now have regular 28 day cycles and ovulate every month. Was recommended to me by an accunpuncturist who says he has clients who swear by it

http://www.nativeremedies.com/products/fertile-xx-promote-regular-ovulation-cycles.html

/links


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## Bubalu (Jun 30, 2012)

Hello earthweave, sorry I've not been around for a few days to see your reply. It sounds like you're in a similar situation to me. I can't give up. I will always wonder what might have been. I didn't expect to be still TTC at 44 and I do wonder how much longer I can stick with it...but while I have cycles, I guess I'll keep at it. What are you doing/trying. I recommend the sperm meets egg plan.. http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htmand 'legs up' after doing the deed for at least 20 min...that's staying lying down with bum on a pillow and knees pointing upward (it tilts the pelvis for best movement of sperm in the right direction.

Thank you for the link Violet...I'll take a look!

/links


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