# What does an IP look for in a surrogate?



## Lisajayne (Sep 18, 2006)

I have read questions of what do surrogates look for in IP now I would like to know as a surrogate what do IP look for?


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## Danuna (Apr 27, 2005)

Breathing, heart beat?  Only joking.  It should be about friendship and trust on both sides.


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## sevaltek (Aug 15, 2006)

as future IP (i hope  ) i agree with danuna. I think friendship is very important. I had many thoughts on my mind about surrogacy (still have but less   ). i was thinking of how i can trust another woman to take care of my baby. Last week i met a retired surrogate mother. she is so nice and helpful to me to explain everything. after i talked to her i shamed on my thoughts    I feel like i would trust her in any condition. this feeling must be the most important thing. Her advice about choosing surrogate mother :  
1- insurance of surrogate mother 
2- if possible experienced surrogate mother 
3- education (she says, if she cares education, she would care baby's health etc.)

i hope i can start his journey soon  

all the best

seval


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## wannabeeamummy (Sep 12, 2006)

Friendship and trust are the most important things, and normally I think they bind together. I would have to trust my surrogate,be able to talk about anything without any embarrasment on either part, laugh together, and probably cry together, sympathise with each other, understand each others need for privacy and me time. Not be afraid to say what we do and dont like etc, but you would have all these things with a best friend, so your surrogate should be someone who is your best friend. Good luck with your journey


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## HJW (Mar 19, 2006)

Hi Lisa

For me friendship was really important, I never wanted a business arrangement, but all IP's are different, so what's good for one, may not be good for another.

I think it's important that you both want the same kind of relationship.

We clicked immediately with our surro and I consider her to be my friend first and our surro second.  Whether or not we achieve the ultimate dream of a baby, I hope she will always be in our lives.

Hayley


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

I think friendship and trust are very important.
Also for us it was important that our surrogate was not a smoker, and that she was in a reasonable driving distance, as my husband doesn't drive.
Luckily for us our surrogater lives an hour and a half away, and we hit it off straight away.
EJJB
  x


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

I have to say that I personally want a friendship with a surroagte, I want a close bond between us and the ability for us both to say what we think without offending and understanding and trusting one another, I think that without this sort of relationship, the emotional size of the journey we will all (hopeflly) undertake would be too much without such a relationship. This is my personal opinion, this may not work for everyone but I know I want my child to know how someone helped them to arrive and for them to see the fantastic friendship between us and their surro family. Other practicalities I beleive can be discussed and worked out, if you click with the right person this is the most important thing.
Sam


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