# Egg donor or time to stop - help!!



## Bronski (Jun 25, 2010)

Hi - I have a lovely 4 year old DS, the apple of my eye, and been ttc another for 3 years.  After two m/c I'm now 40, DH 44 and our first round of ICSI just failed.  I feel depressed and emotional - not ready to give up but not financially able to keep trying when this time only produced 4 eggs, one fertilised.  It seems too much of a long shot.

Should I try egg donation abroad -  or try and focus on future with just the three of us?  

I know we're blessed to have one healthy child, but I'm finding it really hard to let go of the idea of another - especially as I'm surrounded by friends having their 2nd and 3rd children - feels like everyone I know is pregnant this year.  Is it possible to get over the feeling that something is missing without having another child?  I'd love to  hear how other people cope - or don't

Thank you  xxx B


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## sammy75 (Jun 12, 2010)

i can understand how you feel i myself have children my eldest being 18 in 2 months and my youngest who is 9 i got sterilized when he was 3 months old and a decision i have regretted for the last 4 years so no the need to want another baby is very hard to cope with which is why i am now waiting to  have ivf through egg share which i will donate my eggs to help someone else in order for it  to be possible for me to at least try to have another baby, i was going to try reversal but after speaking with the consultant she persuaded me that ivf would be a better option but i can only donate up until i'm 36 and i'm 35 tommorrow so hopefully i can help someone else have a baby while i still can and if it doesn't work for me then me and my husband have agreed we'll pay for another 2 go's at ivf but then i will accept that i am not meant to have another child.  why would you go abroad for treatment is it because of the anonomity.
sam.


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## MrsC11 (Aug 19, 2010)

i feel like that sometimes that we should just focus on being the three of us and that we're happy the way we are and its true we really really are but i think expanding our family would make things even more amazing.  if you can afford then yeh i think you should go for it.  some of my friends went to spain for egg share and they now have to gorgeous little girls.


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## Nicola68 (Dec 28, 2005)

Hi Bronski,

I went abroad and had egg donation after many failures trying for number 2 with my own eggs. I made this decision after four years of heartbreaking failures and bursting into tears everytime someone I knew got pregnant with number 2 or 3. I now have my second child through egg donation in the Czech Republic, it was the best decision I have ever made. IVF with my own eggs was a disaster, with egg donation we had grade one blasts and some to freeze. We went on to have a beautiful healthy baby who I feel is completly mine. If you want to talk about this more I am happy to do so, I've done lots of research inot clinics abroad, I also know a bit about how long all the waiting lists are and how to go about it logistically, as well as having gone through the emotional side. Once you make the decision to go to donor egg your chances of success go up to 60 percent per cycle   .

I know all these decisions are hard and I hope you find the one that is right for you.
Nicola xx


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## Swallowfield (Jan 21, 2009)

Hello Bronski

I, like yourself have been ttc  for some time - since having my son 6 years ago.  18 months ago I went to see gynaecologist re. IVF - he refused, saying that he thought I was entering early menopause as egg reserve virtually nil.  Devastated.  I am now 44, have just come out of hospital after having manchester repair operation, whereby they cut away the neck of the cervix.  Everyone says I should be happy and grateful with my one child, but I so desire another sibling for him and us.  I too would love to have egg donation but our financial situ is dire at the moment.  I feel so helpless and depressed.


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## Nicola68 (Dec 28, 2005)

Swallow, donor egg IVF in the czech republic costs about 3200 euros, or it did about a year ago (I only paid 2700 euros), I know it's alot of money but it is cheaper than most IVF cycles in the UK. The clinic I went to Reprofit offer embryo donation for 1000 euros. I understand that overwhelming desire for a second child. Best of luck, Nicola xxxxx


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