# What to expect, my first IVF treatment



## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Hey guys, have been back to hospital today after having HSG 2 months ago, apparently both tubes are blocked and they have suggested IVF, what do i expect from this is it a painfull procedure like the HSG?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

hiya

sorry to hear your tubes are blocked, a hsg is more painful when the tubes are blocked

i think ivf is more emotionally hard than physical pain

when do you expect to start hun?


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

hi leighsa..so sorry that both tubes are blocked   ivf isnt as scary as seems so try not to worry   it involves a lot of injections ..which once you have done 1 are easy peesy ...then egg collection where you will be sedated (i can hardly remeber mine) and the embryo transfer is very simalar to a smear ... this website is very helpfull you will find loads of info on here ...are they putting you straight on the waiting list?


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

I have been put straight onto the waiting list which they say is a year. i had a real bad time with hsg, and am dredding the procedures, hows the pregnancy going miriam, hope all is well.

They did say as im NHS that i only get one go free i thought you had three goes? do this require taking alot of time off work as tghey dont know my situation and to be honest dont want them to know YET


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

nah in wales and most of the uk is only one go, i am have kinda started writing letter etc to get this changed (watch this space)

i take annual leave for time off and you don't need that much it all depends of if you want the whole of the 2ww off work


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Miriam when you say ivf involves alot of injections do you mean internal injections, ya know like the HSG?  or just ordinary needles through your arm?


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thats crazy so outside of wales  will fund more than once, LUDACRIS!!!
I have just started a 3 month cours of clomid also at my request at the hospital to day  my perios are always normal/regular but for some reson last month i didnt ovulate when normally i have never had this problem so i asked for them, do you think this was the right thing to do as i dont want to miss any chances


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

who gave you clomid?

i hate to say it but its pointless with blocked tubes hun

in easten england you get 3 goes

the injections miriam is talking about are small injections in your belly


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=146715.0

you won't need to do the gestone (big needle)injection in the butt


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

sorry was having hair dyed ...as kara said injections are just in your belly ...easy to do


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thats great those internal needles are so painful m what is the Gestone needle kara mentioned? hould i stop taking the Clomid i asked the doctor at the heath for them and she gave me a prescription, the same nurse that told me both my tubes were blocked. Do you think i should stop taking them?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

i think you should call and check about the clomid

im pretty sure clomid shouldn't be used with blocked tubes due to high risk of ectopic plus its pretty pointless!! i would give them a call and check

are they monitoring you while you are on clomid?


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

Sorry to butt in, but clomid shouldn't be used with blocked tubes, there isn't any point in taking them. How blocked did they say the tubes were  Sometimes they hope that the HSG will flush thro any small blockages (one of mine was like that) but if they are pretty much completely blocked IVF type procedures are the only thing that will work unfortunately  
Clomid only helps develop the follicles and induce ovulation, if tubes are blocked there isn't a way for egg/sperm to meet.


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## chally85 (May 12, 2007)

hi leigsa

i did my first IVF this month and i was nervous just like you but i was fine, i got so much support from the girls and thats how i got through it. 

i was really nervous about the injections but i was worrying over nothing cos they not that bad at all.

i am an NHS patient and i had a fresh egg transfer and i am now having a frozen transfer on the NHS as well, i don't know if its because of where i live? but that will be 2 goes for me.

i hope this helps and as the girls said it's more emotional than painful.

lots of


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

if you get frosties then its included and classed as 1 cycle (thank you NICE guidelines)


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thank you for all your replies, its odd as the nurse who told me i had two blocked tubes was the one who perscribed me the clomid, i only took them for 5 days (1st time) and still have some for the next 2 months bbut now i will not use them, to be honest i know its pointless with blocked tubes but m u husband and i are so desperte for a family i thought why not try..... at the HSG the nurse said by looking at the x-ray that only my left tube ws blocked and she clearly told me that THE DYE RUN STRAIGHT THROUGH MY RIGHT TUBE........ 2 months later when i went back to the hospital following the HSG she then told me both were blocked i am unsure on what to believe as if the dye run  straight through the right tube then their is obviously still hope for us..... I just dont know what to think!!!!! and for her perscribing me Clomid with having apparently 2 tubes blocked seems a bit dangerous, dont you think, i will be calling them on Monday to have a chat with them, do you think that they will tell me over the phone (if speak to somebody else) if the 2 tubes or just the one is blocked?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

i can't see why they wouldn't tell you over the phone

they might need to call you back as they will need to look through your notes, if the dye ran straight through your tube i can;t see how it would be blocked

call them first thing monday and get some answers


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

leighsa

i had a hsg hurt like hell, one tube "presumed damaged"(right one, left one fluid went through but "may also be damaged just not as much they said) recommended ivf, just like with you

when you have the hsg they dont give any pain relief, ivf they give plenty pain relief  

i did get naturally pregnant twice, one ectopic and one womb, i guess the womb one went through the un-blocked tube, i guess it was knackered once it reached the womb miscarried at 6 weeks. so i would recommend waiting for the ivf as its reassuring to know that it doesnt involve your tubes

they never prescribed clomid to me and i had dye running through one tube. though i did nearly pass out when i had the hsg from the pain and they didnt get to finish it. so maybe mine worse than yours. i would say whether its one or 2 damaged tubes you are better off just doing the ivf as its more risky -a natural pregnancy- it could be ectopic or misc like mine was. a natural pregnancy scares me after whats happened to me.

even if the dye runs through one of the tubes, it could still have more minor damage

ivf aint easy, the Egg collection the worst, but once youve got past that its fine. injecting yourself not too bad at all and i hate injections, Embryo transfer only takes 5 mins. if its not your ovaries thats the problem, you should produce enough eggs to only need one Egg collection, and you can then freeze the spare embryos, and a frozen embryo transfter much easier than an ivf

if that helps...i am honest me! just going from my own personal experience everyones is different

good luck


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

leighsa, me again!

i had to wait a year too for my 1 free ivf

what you get depends on where you live

but it turned out i used my 1 free ivf - didnt get pregnant that time

then i got 1 free FET (frozen embryo transfer) which worked (this only works if you have enough embies to freeze some after first ivf, if not i would have had to have another ivf and pay for it)

they train you how to do the injecting. its just anywhere under your tummy button and above your doodoo! you pinch the skin and put needle in, doesnt really hurt, and its not bad as it doesnt have to go into a vein like when you have one in your arm, and the needle isnt as big as one that you would have in your arm. my first injection was a Pen with little cartridges, which was much easierer on the eye


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thank you so much for the replies, you said that egg collection is the worst, can you honestly tell me what to expect and is it the same type of procedure as the HSG, where they use cathater and needle, how long does this take, and is it extremely painful like HSG?  So when they do this can they collect more than one egg, and if theirs any left am i right in saying this would then be frozen and used if round 1 didnt work?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

ec isn't the worst part and you won;t feel it as you will be sedated, the worst bit if the emotional aspect i would say

what happens is you take a drug to down regulate (dampen your ovaries down) this way they can stimmulate them when they want (if long protocol), once you have down regged you would have a scan called the baseline scan to make sure your ovaries are switched off and your lining is nice and thin once this stage it complete you will then add another drug to the mix, a drug to stimmulate your ovaries into producing multiply eggs, once the follies are a certain size you are ready for egg collection.

egg collection really is ok, your partner will give a sample at this stage and your eggs and his sperm will be put together in the lab

transfer will be 2/3 or five days later

as for freezing this depends on the quaility of your embryos

hope this helps


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

I agree with Kara try not to worry about EC its really not so bad.  I was terrified but actually when i got there i wasnt so bad. They put a little needle in your arm to give you the drugs and you go off to sleep. I remember waking and being wheeled back to DH.  He said thatas soon as i got back i said that it wasnt so bad and i could do it again, so honestly you really dont feel much and what you do feel you wont remember as one of the drugs makes you forget.  We had 11 eggs and made 9 embryos. Out of the 9 we had two go back and froze three so you never know the quality will be.
Good luck and try not to think too mucj about it.


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## KellyG (Jun 11, 2008)

I agree with Kara, its not the actual physical but all the emotional strain, with all the diff drugs going thru ur body and the 'will it wont it work' part. 

Try not to worry about all the procedures and good luck


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

thanks for the replies what is are the chances of IVF working 1st time if i have good quality eggs and DH has reaaly good sperm, do you think my chances are high?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

yeah the chances are high

many ladies have success first cycle.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thanks Kara, i have been dredding it, i feel alot better about it now after reading everybodys replies. Thank you so much.


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

worst part for me was the 2 week wait!


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

leighsa - regards EC, sorry hun, i didnt mean to scare you  , for me i would much rather have another EC than another HSG. The hsg was far worse. like i say, you get lots of pain relief with the EC, so please dont worry about the pain, you will have drugs hun   i had sedatives, something like morphine and also gas and air on tap which i kept breathing in just incase i felt anypain (in advance!). Yes, they collect all the eggs then. i had 14 collected, 11 fertilised with the sperm to create embryos, and 9 survived, i had 1 put back in and 8 frozen for future use. 

the chances are high, yeah, think its about 1 in 3, but depends on your hospital, i would check with them. didnt work for me first time, but it did the 2nd time, with a frozen embryo transfer. its all a game of chance, just try take it one step at a time hun, i understand you are apprehensive   but you will be ok, they will look after you


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

HI guys, thks for the replies and Avon Queen (LOL) you hadnt scared me with EC talk to be honest the whole thing scares me ever since she told me id be put on IVF waiting list, i appreciate all you help & honesty, i prefer honesty!!!!
Remeber i was saying that at first i was told my left tube was blocked and right was clear/open and then i went back on 23 dec 08 and Dr. Janet Evans told me they were both blocked and she perscribed me the clomid?, well i called them this morning for some answers as you guys had said!!!!! Jodie went to get my file and checked my notes and called me back about an hour later and told me that Left tube - Hydrosalphynx (I assume blocked)..... and right tube they said "Definate Peritoneal Spill" when i asked what this meant she told me it was open and dye had run straight through ......... So now left is blocked and right is open, to be honest im mad that i was told they were both blocked but really happy that i have one working tube, i asked Jodie why they had told me this and she said as there "MAYBE DAMAGE"!!!!!!!!!

Do you think that i will now be ok to take next months set of Clomid now i have one working tube


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## popsi (Oct 11, 2007)

just a quick one.. leigh i had clomid and only have one tube so i am sure it will be fine for you to take it, you never know it may work and you will not need the IVF


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thanks popsi for that, guess ill carry on taking them.... a peritoneal spill means open dont it?


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

leighsa good luck with the clomid hope it works for you.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thanks hun, i have been told that my LH & FSH tests were all ok , and i requested the clomis as i thought it would give me a greater chance of concieving, is this right?


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## popsi (Oct 11, 2007)

i had clomid because i did not ovulate without it .. not sure what happens if you do


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

don't know much about clomid but my friend was given it cos she did not ovulate.

i was not given it due to my age ( 36) dh sperm anaylsis and cos i was due to start icsi any way and was told if i took clomid would have to wait a couple of months after taking that to start icsi tx. i was able to start tx the following month.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Whats TX hun?


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

tx stands for treatment. it took me ages to work out all the abbreviations. so feel free to ask when you don't understand.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Ha ha ha, thanks, im pretty good with them, but had no idea with that one. Am i right in sayin g that you have had IVF?


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

yes i had isci. tx is the same as ivf but instead of the embrologist leaving the sperm and egg to fertilize in the lab with icsi the embrologist injects the sperm into the egg if you have sperm problems. i have just done one cycle that was unsuccesful, but i have found everyone at the clinic wonderful. i was extremely nervous of ec and et but it really was nothing to it- nothing like a hsg ( which like you i found extremely painful)


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thats such a relief and good to know. Totally off the subject, LOL.... how do you get your name to appear that way at the end of your post, and slo the ticker thing?


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

to get a ticker or do your name copy and paste the bb code ..just click on one of ours to go to site and make one up !


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thanks Miriam, looks good!!!! Hope the pregnancy is going well. xxxx


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

very cute ! you could do a ticker to count down your ivf wait next!


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

LOL i tried looking for the tickers... but couldnt fin e it xxx


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

see if theres 1 you like on here http://www.ezticker.com/

/links


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thanks babe, ya a star! xxx


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

http://www.tickerfactory.com/ezticker/ticker_designer.php?type=4 or this 1 is good this is where i got my lucky ticker!

/links


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

to get my ticker i just clicked on someone elses and it took me to the site

they told me right tube damaged, but left tube fluid went through, though they said the left tube "maybe" damaged as well (like they said to you). it doesnt have to be massive damage, theres little hairs inside tubes that move things along which are microscopic so they wouldent nec know if they were ok or not

still surprised they offered you clomid as they didnt offer me that. but i guess my tubes must be a lot more damaged? its good for you though and worth a try if they say so

heres the basics of ivf, i know its alot to take in:-

1) they decide on your drugs/regime you are to follow (short/long protocol or antagonist)
2) you get put on the list for the week you are doing the ivf
3) a nurse trains you how to do the injections
4) period starts start injecting when advised
5) go into hospital have scan/bloods
6) continue to have scans & bloods every so many days whilst injecting yourself at home every morning
7) once you have enough follicles are the right size, they tell you to take the late night injection which makes you ovulate within so many hours. (each follicle may or maynot contain an egg)
 EC (egg collection) is booked in.
9) i took sedative tablet the night before, 1 in morning, and another when reached hospital.
10)  drug similar to morphine i had put in my hand, doctor had a chat with me
11) went into EC, gave dr my "ivf companion" cd to play whilst having it done to relax me, or u can give your favourite music
12) gas and air on your chest in a inhaler thing, to inhale as you need.
13) its kinda like a smear but they go in and take out the follicles, if theres an egg they take it out, if theres no egg they "flush" it away, if the follicle not big enough they "flush" it too. (that dont hurt dont worry they just kinds rinse it 
14) they do both ovaries and then you are done and they give you a piece of paper telling you how many eggs they got and i think it also tells you preg test date
15) you now ring daily to see how the eggs have fertlised with the sperm (dp gives sperm sample the same day as you have the EC normally before your EC and then he joins you and sits with you when you have your EC)
16) so as an example i rang and they said out of the 14 eggs, 11 had fertilised to make embryos
17) then rang next day and they said 9 embryos had survived
1 then they tell you when the embryos will be transferred (normally 3 days after EC)
19) ET (embryo transfer) happens, doesnt hurt, takes 5 mins, just like a smear
20) give you pessaries to insert vaginally or up your bum! to help thicken the womb lining, take twice a day and try and lie flat for at least 30mins afterwards else they can come out in your pants (like a powder)
21) pregnancy test day  - go in for blood test - call them in the afternoon for the result.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thank you so much for tha Avon Queen, that has to be the most helpful reply, much appreciation....
Just to let you know they DIDNT OFFER me clomid, i has asked for it, although im ovulating ok, FHS & LH tests were fine, i asked as i thought this could greater my chances of concieving, so they gave me some.

With IVF you say short or long protocol whats this short or long thing mean?

Do you have to visit the hosital daily throughout as i work full time and work do not know im TTC? 
The sedative tablet, is this any good, and is it pain relief? i thought that you were put to sleep for it......

If you can help with these questions id much appreciate it hun xxx


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

have you called the about the clomid?

no you won;t have to go everyday, you will go once for a baseline, then 2 of three scans before egg collection, 2 are usually is one week with ec the next week

the sedation is given intervenous

short protocol means no down regulation so its shorted by around 2 weeks


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

Hi Leighsa
I was on clomid and took it for a year-unfortunately for me it didnt work but i have PCOS so its common for people with my problem not to respond.  Many people do respond though and get pregnant on clomid so who knows you may be lucky.

The sedation is great its given through a needle in your arm and you get sleepy very quickly.  They keep topping it up so you wont feel or remember it.  They'll also give you pain relief through the needle so plenty of drugs so you dont feel it.

When are you planning to start your treatment?


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

hi leighsa

its all a bit of a blur now hun regards the protocol thing. the doctor will decide which one is best for you and which drugs to give you. it all depends on you as an individual. from what i can remember, the long one means you take drugs for longer. antagonist regime is what i had and its the new one. its similar to short protocol. no need for you to worry as the doctor will pick which ones best for you. if its your first attempt i would guess at you having short protocol or antagonist.

no didnt have to go in daily, think most frequent was every other day but thats only at specific times, like when they need to make you ovulate at the right time of the month and therefore check your womb regularly to see if its ready. i reduced my working hrs from 5 days a week to 4 days for the ivf and kept it like that throughout pregnancy. as you do need to give yourself a break. holidays wise at work, you need to really be off after Egg collection right through to Embryos are transferred (3 days ish) and a few days after embryos transferred if you can. during the 2ww (while you are waiting to find out if pregnant) you are better off keeping your mind busy being at work unless your job is very physical

for the ivf scans and blood tests, they are normally done early mornings, its only the embryo transfer thats later on )mine was about 12noon) so you can do it before going to work but you would be late probably for work, so i would advise telling your employers about the tx. i used to turn up late but work late to make back the time, or take it unpaid

some clinics use a general anaesthetic for the egg collection. i was scared about sedatives etc, and i thought i would be better "out of it" but as it turned out im glad i didnt have general as you come out of it really groggy (have had one before) and you are fine after the sedation. Also if you are not "out of it" then you can react to what they are doing, and i think thats better. the sedative tablet isnt so much for pain relief i dont think, but to calm you. thats why i had to take one the night before to make sure i slept well. you dont think you are any different at the time, but looking back i was off my face   in a good way   the drug they give you in your hand i think is the strongest one, they offered me some more half way through but i said no as i was fine with just the one shot of that and the gas and air. i just lie there and shut my eyes, dh was there with me, kept telling me to breathe which was helpful    and i had the relaxation cd on in the background. i remember trying to pretend i was sat on a beach but it took a lot of imagination!!   there were nurses in there too, who kept saying i was doing well etc etc. i just zoned out which was easy cause of the sedatives! was glad to pass over the responsibility to them for a bit, looking after my eggs i mean. you then have 3 days off before ET so no more prodding and poking, so its nice to be free for abit!


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Hi Kara, i called them on Monday about the clomid & only got to spk to the administrator she grabed the filed and called me back, and told me that the reason she had given clomid at my request was because my right tube is open, at first was told left was blocked and right was open then when i went back they told me both were blocked and now they are saying that right is open as had a peritoneal spill at HSG, but maybe damaged, so i am gonna carry on taking clomid for the next two months.

1) Am i right in saying that taking clomid each month you only take 5 tablets at start of your cycle? Per month

Avon Queen Hi Hun thanks for the response, i am an estate agent so have a real physical job driving around all day long in and out of properties, so unable to cut down my hours for tretament, i have only been with this agent for 6 months (been in business 3 yrs) but as its quite a new employer i havent told them as i dont want them to get rid of me, ya know!  I have passed a probabtionary period, and have been taken on permanantly but if they think i am trying ot concieve they may just let me go as i am the only one who works there full time and we have 2 part timers.... So if i were to take time off work (As holiday) for the ivf treatment how long would you recommend, would you say 2 weeks?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

yeah only take it for those days hun

its good news a tube is open


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

it is gd news hun, but 5yrs ttc is a long time!!!!!!!!


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

hiya

iyou need to work once youve had the Embryo transfer to take your mind off it and make time pass quicker .....the Egg collection and Embryo transfer you definatley need off so thats about 5 days....so i guess if you have a week off before the egg collection date and go back to work 2 days after the embryo transfer that should cover it....when you start treatment they give you a day-by-day monthly plan to follow telling you what to do. so if you look at that and book off 5 days before the Egg collection date to 2 days after the embryo transfer....also of course you need test day off!!! and maybe a few days after that to get used to the news


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

sorry it sounds complicated i know heres a better description!!

at work.... doing any injections in the morning before work
Day off
day off
day off
day off
day off
Egg collection
day off ......AM hospital rings to update how many eggs have fertilised into embryos
day off ......AM hospital rings to tell you how many embryos survived the night
day off ......as above
Embryos transferred....as above, and to confirm how many embryos you are having transferred
day off 
day off
back to work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
work
day off for test date.......go in for a blood test and ring back that afternoon for the results
day off
day off
back to work

this is a rough guide


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

yeah 5 years is a long time, i do understand

avon wow you had some time off before ec?

i think you should wait until you own protocol, i can of course post up a rough plan of days you would be scanned etc, but you can arrange these scans early and then go to work


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## KellyG (Jun 11, 2008)

I had the week of tx off. Not before and like kara said you can try and arrange scans in the morning and then go to work like i did. i had time off after et too to relax and rest.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Thank you so much for the replies, guess ill take the week of prior to EC, its tha, or tell work im going through this, guess ill speak to somebody first to see if they can get rid of me because of this as only been there 6 mths.

Its hard having to lie to them especially now all this is going to be happening, saying that my IVF is a years waiting list so have plenty of time, my area director was diagnosed PCOS years ago and told she couldnt have children now she is 13 weeks pg.... she had all these tests apparently, so hopefully if i were to tell her she would be understanding.....

Will they give me plenty of notice before the time comes for EC? so i have time to book off work? how soon before so they let you know when ya due to go in?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

well once you start stimms ec is usually 2 weeks later

could you go sick?


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Hi Kara, what do you mean by skimms? LOL. i suppose i could but wouldnt want 2 weeks sick on my record, think im just gonna take the 2 weeks holiday or something just hoping they will give me notice before tx starts


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

stimms = stimmulation, where you will start your second lot of injections

you will have notice and make sure you tell them that you need to know dates etc, the trouble is ivf can be unpredictable. you might set out dates and maybe you won't down reg and you might need to push things forward a week or so

could you maybe tell them you need a gynea op and say you will take annual leave instead of signing on the sick, this way you could tell a few little lies and get round things if your cycle didn't go smoothly

think you better come to one of our meets so we can go through everything


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Yeah i guess i could take annual leave as long as i ahve time in advance to book it... ill have to keep in touch with the hospital checking hwere to i am on the waiting list, those meetings sound good, how do i go about tha?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

we post a date up on a thread here, i was gona post up a date tonight but need to make sure i have a car as my dh crashed mine yesterday


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Oh my goodness, hope he is ok. I will look out for the date, where to do you normally meet?


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

Hi Leighsa we normally meet by Mcarthur Glen in Bridgend at the harvester.
Is that far for you to travel


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Hi Jule, no thats fine, i live in Barry so will take me 20 mins on the motorway to get there, let me know what date, do you normally meet up in the day, and what is the meeting all about, is it just like a casual get together? xxx


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

Yes just general chat which is nice as its nice to speak to people who have the same problems.
We normally meet from 3.30pm, i never get there til bout 5pm as i work in Cardiff and finish at 4pm.  We then have some food while we are there.  Be great to meet you.  Keep an eye on thread


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

I will definatley keep an eye out for the thread, sounds good, ya right i bet its so nice to chat face to face with women going thru the same knida thing, as alot of people i know here really dont understand how stressful it is for me, as they are popping babies out like theres no tomorrow  

I look forward to meeting you. xxx


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

yes i know what you mean, everyone can sympathise but noone really knows exactly how you feel.  Do you work in Barry, what do you do?


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

I do hun, i live and work in Barry, i am an estate agent, (an honest one) he he he!!!! and work from eight thirty til six pm and work have no idea im on list for IVF.....   or even ttc for tha matter, only been working for this agent about 6months and although i am permanent there not sure weather they would get rid of me if they were to know, i would love to tell them as it would be alot easier than having to lie, ya know... especially when tx comes
xxx


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

Oh its so difficult.  I didint tell anyone in work my first time around and certianly didnt tell anyone when i was only taking clomid but after the second failure recently i found it really difficult.  I took a month off and still struggled going back to work, even though i also wanted to get back to normality.  As i was so tearful when i got to work i ended up having to tell people but im glad i have now even though at the time i didnt want to.  At least now i can go to appt's without people wondering where i am.  Im sure when the time comes you will do what you think is best.  Does anyone in work know?


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

I have recently told one of the ladies in work with as when had app dec 23 she had to cover and to be honest was dying to tell somebody, so told her, and now im starting to find out that this certain person you cannot trust, its always the sames innit, so work will prob find out soon, saying tha i really should be the one to tell them, just thought of that......... Oh no!!!! he he he


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

leighsa

i think if your boss has had problems she will be fine to tell... you should be fine to tell the area director. i found it a benefit to tell my boss, she has had her own problems too, and they have been most understanding

i would book off as holiday time roughly and advise you may need to tweak nearer the time


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

It was my area director who had the PCOS, so she would understand (i think) she is also the one who employed me 6 months ago, so if she knew i was trying she has the power to get rid of me.... thats what i dont want.....

Id love to tell her, just dont want it jeopadizing my job........ 

Whats the law, how long do you have to be with a company before you are entitiled to maternity and stuff like tha, in  my case time of for tx? Do you know, i think its standard and the same with any company/
xxxx


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

right, ive got my pregnancy book out the midwife gave me to make sure i give the correct info here!!!!

they cant fire you for wanting to be or trying to get preggers hun, you have rights there. if you told them you were on the list for tx, they would im sure be understanding, and i would say generally, thats its best to be upfront, you dont have to tell them yet though, wait till maybe 3-4 mnths before, thats what i would do anyway, and you will have worked there longer by then anyhow wont ya.

right...

SMP =  statutory maternity pay

who gets it? = If you have been continously employed by the same employer into the qualifying week (this is the 15th week before the week your baby is due). One days employment in the qualifying week counts as a full week

so...thats ok for you isnt it hun  

SMP is paid for max of 26 weeks. company claims this back from inland revenue.

If you did change jobs though and got preg quickly or changed jobs whilst pregnant there is something called "maternity allowance" instead


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

basically what happened with mine is

6 weeks pay at 90% of income
then rest of the 9 months at £117 p/w. also i get a bonus ( i think) but that depends on company

you can have another 3 mnths off after the 9 mnths unpaid as well if you can afford!!

im using holiday days as well before the 90% kicks in to delay the drop in earnings, as you still accrue holidays whilst on maternity leave.

regards child benefit - everyone gets that. send off origional birth cert after they are born with form and it takes about 4 weeks, once applied for that can apply for any tax credits. you only get working tax credits if your joint income is less than 17k though, but most people can get a little child tax credit.


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## QUEEN B (Leighsa) (Sep 12, 2008)

Hi Avon Queen, you are so sweet, LOL, thks for getting out your book and giving me so much information, i have been offline for a few days (modem were broke). In that time i have told work, yeh!!!!!!! well i have told the branch manager and he assured me that all will be ok, and i have a meeting tomorrow (oh joy) (at my request) to speak to my AD (Area director) tomorrow, i asked her to come down to have a 1-2-1 with me..... as i prefer to tell her face to face, than over the phone.... So its all out, and i feel alot better about it, so thanks for prompting me. To be honest its alot better to be upfront and honest, especially when going through this, just so they understand as to why i am going to be taking time off....
Will keep you posted as to how our meeting goes tomorrow......

Luv Leighsa
xxxxxxxxx


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## Avon Queen (Jul 8, 2007)

leighsa

some useful advice......join a health scheme if you arent part of one already. im part of westfield health scheme through work, only a small amount every month comes straight out of my wages, and you get money if you have a baby (DH is part of it as well and altogether we get £500 once twins are born).

ah thanks hun! i like to be of help, FF has helped me alot so i like to give back. You are much better off telling work, good on ya. my work have been very supportive. i wouldent tell too many of your work collegues though, just a close few if you can, and be careful who you tell. The reason for this is because its all well and good if you get pregnant, but if you dont, you cant put it to the back of your mind at work cause everyones asking you, and they can say some stupid things i can tell u!!!! So yeah tell bosses and just a few close friends for support  

good luck with your meeting 2moro, best to get this out of the way, so you can just get on with the tx when you get to it


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