# Single (well, divorced), hoping to be an SMC, just started IUI in Denmark



## Tva (Feb 16, 2012)

I've just introduced myself in the general introduction thread but thought it would be good to introduce myself here too...

I'm new here and this is my first time posting. Am a bit nervous but thought I'd bite the bullet seeing as my period has just started after my first attempt at (ever) getting pregnant.  I don't know anyone else going through this and so I thought posting here might be a good place to start and hopefully get some support. It's tricky because I have quite a high profile job (nothing glamorous!) - but it does mean that I can't speak about this to people who know me in case it gets out. I've had a lot of negative flak about choosing to try for a baby alone when I've spoken out about it in the past - so much so that it kept me from going ahead with it, even though it was something I actively decided I wanted after a very brief and failed marriage almost 10 years ago now . . .

Anyway, although I tried to stay realistic about my chances of it happening first time round, I'm still not feeling too good. Two weeks ago I travelled to Aarhus in Denmark (where they have the world's largest sperm bank - Cryos) to start the IUI procedure with donor sperm. It was quite a scary process as I went without telling anyone, and was 'summoned' by the clinic with less than 12 hrs notice, so the only plane I could get was one that left in the middle of the night! I'd just had my trigger shot (Pregnyl) which made my stomach swell a whole 3 inches (I thought I was going to burst!) and so I was in pain for the whole journey which wasn't the easiest one. Stansted is the only UK airport which has direct flights to Aarhus (Denmark's second largest city I believe) and as I live in central London I had to take a cab to the coach station, then an hour and a half on the coach, then the usual two hour wait at the airport, then a flight of an hour and a half, then an hour's bus ride, followed by another cab. I got to my hotel, collapsed on the bed for a couple of hours or so, then took a cab to the clinic for my first insemination! I was inseminated again the following day, after which I flew home and fell asleep for 24 hours! 

The 2ww has been really tough, all the more so due to the fact that I'm going through this alone, and as I mentioned, not able to confide in my friends or family. So now I'm just trying to scoop myself off the ground and push on.

I'm just steeling myself now for the Clomid: like most people I had the red mist and the brutal crying jags, but because I suffer from clinical depression  (+ have had to come off my ADs whilst TTC) my mood really hit rock bottom. Ugh, horrible drug! I was wondering whether to ask for an alternative - I've heard of something called Femara - anyone had any experience with that? Unfortunately though I definitely need stims because my PCOS is quite bad and I quite often fail to ovulate at all. Anyway, that's my story! - or at least some of it. Very glad to have found this forum and to be able to vent a little!


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## Elpida (Feb 11, 2008)

Welcome TVA, 


Thats quite  trip for IUI, but with the donor sperm stock being what it is in this country I can understand wanting to travel. I can't help on the drugs as I've only ever had IVF. But I can relate to coming off ADs in order to have treatment, adding any additional hormone into the mix is tough too


I'm sorry that you're unable to confide in those around you, but you'll find lots of people to 'talk' to about things on here. It's tough also when you get a BFN   It's such shame when people are negative about this route that we take - I think it's admirable.


Welcome to the boards - I'm sure other will be along to say hi shortly


Esperanza


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hello and welcome TVA,

sounds like you've had a bit of a stressful time of it all, sending some big    
even when you don't really think you'll be first time lucky, getting that BFN is miserable   

your journey reminds me of the time I drove myself all the way from Derbyshire to Brno (2hrs beyond Prague) for DE IVF when the flights were cancelled thanks to volcanic ash! Took me 14 hours each way and tx didn't even work that time...I can look back and smile about it now but I well remember the stress at the time...

I can't help with the Femara I'm afraid, but hopefully someone here can. I was never on Clomid either but sounds nasty. Can you try low level dose of puregon or similar stimming drug instead? not sure if that effectively does the same as clomid? I was on puregon for the one medicated IUI I did - albeit very low dose...

Sorry to hear that you can't talk about all this with family/friends, and that you have not had support when you have talked about it. You'll get plenty of support here   

wishing you the best of luck for next time round, keep posting and let us know how you're getting on and if you want to meet up at some point we have a few get togethers coming up including a picnic I'm hosting in Guildford in July - PM me with your email address if you're interested in going on the invite list/knowing more about it - loads of mums coming but also some who are ttc/thinking about it - all are welcome   

Suitcase
x


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## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

Welcome tva -its a tough old road but it will seem easyier now you know the route! I started my tx in denmark i got to like the place !

Plenty of support on here so your not alone. Are you going to go again straight away or are you having  a rest.

Im sure you looked into it but stansted express runs pretty late and pretty early out of liverpool st and tottenham hale if that would be easyier to get to the airport? If you ever get stuck and need to fly in to copenhagen the trains seem pretty easy of there.

I took antidepressants (Serotonin inhibitors) during my later and successul cycle which can even be thought of as helpful to ttc and i stopped as soon as i got BFP- Is it possible to talk to doctor about one you can take during? I am with suity you could try injectables for stimming - bit more expensive but might be better for you,

Good luck heres to cycle number 2 being the one !


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Hi TVA, welcome, and sorry you're feeling so low.    Just to add to Suity's post, for all my medicated IUIs I was on a low dose of puregon (injectable - but one of the easier ones as it comes in a pen) every second day - you might want to explore this a bit more if clomid is producing such horrible side effects.  It must be difficult to have faced such resistance to the idea of going it alone - but there are plenty of people on the singles board who have made the same decision and will provide you with loads of love and support both during treatment and beyond.  Lean on us!


A-Mx


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

Hi TVA,


I had IUI abroad in the Czech Republic, very stressful but the first time was the hardest and then I knew where I was going and it got easier. I have PCOS too and took clomid which thankfully I didn't react too badly to but as others have said there are options there for you, maybe post on the IUI board asking about different drugs. 


I was also doing this pretty much on my own, didn't tell any friends until after my first cycle. But I got heaps of support on here and have made many real friends so do reach out and you'll get lots of support. 


Wishing you lots of luck for your next go!!


bingbong x


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## Fraggles (Jul 3, 2009)

Hi TVA

Welcome to the boards. Like the others say there is a lot of support on the boards and many of us have headed overseas for treatment. I remember the first time I went to Brno and it was stressful the first time but then became a lot easier. Many people's negative comments are because they are worried how we'll cope but often mellow.

Good luck.

xxx


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## GIAToo (Nov 8, 2009)

Hi TVA,
Sorry about your BFN     As the others have said, the first trip abroad is usually the hardest (not counting Suitcase's 28 hour round trip!).
I tried Femara on my last OE cycle which was a mini IVF cycle.  I don't recall any side effects.  The reason I asked to go on it is because I had read that Clomid can affect your lining and mine was already in poor shape following an ERPC/miscarriage.  However, Femara didn't seem to help my lining much and I only managed one tiny follicle after 8 days!  That said, I am older than you and was already perimenopausal, so it might be worth you trying Femara.
It's quite nerve-wracking going to your first face to face meet up, but well worth it especially if you don't have any other support in the "real" world. Like Bingbong, I have made some great friends.
Take care & keep posting   
GIA Tooxxx


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## cocochanel1 (Oct 15, 2009)

TVA, welcome. It gets easier. Many of us have been through similar things re worrying about what others will think and meeting with mixed views. Also concerns re career implications. I have quite a senior role where I am and this was a big concern for me. So far it hasn't been an issue. I can see the media could have a field day if you are in the public eye but to be honest even that would soon be yesterday's news. Just keep focussed on your end goal. As the girls have said you can count on support here. Coco xxx


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## Elle72 (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi Tva, 
you have my support as well!
I am new to this as you are, as far as I see this place is really full of positive and very strong women.
To take this decision and put action into it it takes a lot of courage, so well done to you and     for next round.


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