# VV distressed: Why were my 3 grade B embryos discarded without consulting me?



## mary k

I have now had 5 ICSI treatments.
I did the last one whilst on the waiting list for a myomectomy. I know for definate (i have confirmed with clinic) that on the day of last ET I had 5 embryos. 2 were grade A and 3 were Grade B. The Grade As were transferred but the 3x grade Bs were discarded and not frozen. I was not consulted.
I feel very aggrieved that I was not consulted about discarding the embryos. 
When I rang the clinic they said their policy is to only freeze A grades due to the poor success of B grades.
I asked what the success rate with B grade embryos is and the man on the phone could not tell me - just that it was poor.
I pointed out to him that my chance of having a baby is already extremely poor (one consultant has told us<10% chance with ICSI due to all our problems) yet I am willing to spend a fortune on taking that risk.

I think I am particularly annoyed as my consultant knew I was about to have the myomectomy if the ICSI failed. It would be so much easier not to have to start from scratch again with an ICSI cycle if I had frozen embies. I would have liked to have been given the statistics and given the chance to spend my own money and blood, sweat on tears on FETs if I so wished.
Previous cycles have had v low fertilisation rates and v low numbers of embryos created. There is a high chance that the next cycle may produce no embryos. I am beginning to think I may never have kids of my own. These 3 embryos were the nearest thing to kids I may ever have. Should the decision about what to do with them not have been mine? At the VERY LEAST should the policy of the hospital not have been explained in advance to me?
Also, I am getting v close to 40 and the myomectomy will delay the next cycle by several months. The next batch of embryos.. if there are any are at a higher risk of abnormalities such as downs syndeome.
If I was to be cynical I would say that the clinic are only freezing As to make their stats look better or that they make more money by making me start from scratch with ICSI treatment again the next time.

When I calmly pointed out to the man on the phone that I thought that I should have been consulted he said that they didn't like to give people false hopes. I asked him if he had ever been in my situation and he said no. I held my tongue and did not ask the obvious question... why did he think he was better qualified than me to make the decision then?

Anyway I really want to find out:
What the policy is at other clinics? Perhaps this is not exceptional, Or even just hear other people's views or experiences?
Does anyone know what the success rate with frozen B grade embryos is? 
Has anyone got pregnant with a frozen B grade embryo?
Perhaps I shouldn't beat myself up about this but I think the feedback may, at the very least be interesting to several FF members and may even prevent someone else feeling robbed/bereaved like I do.

I am not sure if I have posted this message in right place as I would like everyone's opinion on this - not just the fertility nurse (altho their opinion would be v welcome). Therefore I will try and post on a general message board too.

Looking forward to hearing from you

regards
Mary K


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## Ruth

Mary,
I am really sorry for your sense of loss. I now there is nothing I can say that will bring them back.
From your clinics perspective, it is the policy of most clinics NOT to frreze anything other than grade 1 embryos as the success of thawing grade 2+ is so low and gives false hope. I am sure that was what was in the minds of the clinic staff.

Ruth


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## mary k

Ruth 
thank you so much for your reply ... that is interesting.
I was wondering if you know (or if you could refer me to any other source of info) what the statistics are for grade 2 embryos?
I would like to think that when the decision was made for me it was made from a sound evidence base.
As you know many of us have very slim chances of success with IVF.. indeed many of us are virtually paying for a miracle to happen. I do think that I should have been told the stats and then allowed to make my own mind up.
It's my hard earned cash and my body.
Even if it was just a 1% chance of pregnancy with the Grade 2 frozen embryos, I would have taken it because taking progesterone tabs for a few weeks is so much easier in every respect than starting ICSI treatment from complete scratch including egg collection, days off work, injections etc.

Any information would be v gratefully received.

Mary K
I would have been ready for the dissappointment if armed with the statistics.


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