# Seeing lo again



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Happy new year ladies 

It's been a tough Christmas but we made it through and seeing lo again for the first time in 5 weeks on Christmas Eve made it a lot more enjoyable, we took pressies over and FC let lo open them so that was lovely also FC took a family photo which has pride of place on the fridge lol. We've seen lo twice more since, our last visit being yesterday so it was a great way to start the new year.
FC seems to think lo remembers us she said lo is so relaxed around us which really made me happy, and out of this horrible mess seeing lo again makes us carry on.


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## Loopylou41 (Apr 26, 2011)

How lovely. Hope things get sorted quickly for you. Does this mean you can visit LO regularly now?

X


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey loopylou so glad to read you've had a lovely new year with your lo  

Yes we are now allowed to visit lo twice a week for 2 hours and it is so fantastic words can't describe what not seeing lo for 5 weeks was like , it's a bit of a drive but worth every second I'm going again on Tuesday but dh unfortunately has got work.
It's los first birthday next week so hopefully we can visit then too.


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## ultrafirebug (Oct 22, 2010)

Really glad you are seeing lo again.  Hope it's all sorted soon and in your favour x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Brilliant mumanddad. Small comfort I'm sure in this mammoth cock up! I really hope it's swiftly sorted for you all and you can finally become a family!


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Really glad to hear you are seeing your LO again. I know it must be painful but hope you get some good news from the courts soon.


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## Loopylou41 (Apr 26, 2011)

That is so good. Enjoy your time and LO's Birthday.

I have been shocked to read your posts but so glad things seem to be going on the right path. Things like this shouldn't happen but it shows how strong your bond with LO is.

X


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm really pleased to read this, and hope that you get to celebrate LOs 1st birthday  

Xxx


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## Emma-is-a-mummy (Jan 16, 2012)

That's really good news so happy for you xx


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

So pleased you're seeing lo again. Is there any update for you with regards to court etc? I'm so so cross for you that this is still ongoing and your DH is having to miss out on visits. Not only this but you're currently in limbo land so it's sort of a waste of your adoption leave when you could be bonding with baby!!! Just really unfair to the main person in this, your LO who as usual the poor children are left behind whilst the courts bend over backwards to make sure BM gets her day in court. 

I truly hope 2016 is a fantastic year for you all  xx


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Thanks for all the support ladies  

Littlepoppy - the judge in our local court is away until the 11th Jan and she has to signed off the transcript before it can be sent to the high court so we won't have any news until after then and our sw said she is not sure how quickly the judge will sign it when she gets back. It's so blooming frustrating I just want to get a hold of them and shake them, our la have failed lo horribly.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

I'm so seething this has happened to you and LO, but I'm so very glad you can carry on visiting her.  ((((((hugs))))))  Be kind to yourselves and hang on in there.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

11th jan...So there isn't another one that could deal with it?! I never get this, my job isn't important but yet if I was out the office I would assign my work to a colleague. Why is this so different?! The childrens cases should be dealt with ASAP.

X


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Morning littlepoppy it's a real contradiction in that sw keep saying to us every day matters and we need to place lo asap yet the judge who took the hearings has to be the one to sign it off. Things don't ring true when I question them and I always feel they just fob me off with any old rubbish, they tell me the judge in question has taken a month off just as she asked for the transcript to be rushed through (sounds odd to me) I think the transcript wasn't completed on time AGAIN!!

Had a lovely visit with lo yesterday bit concerned about bm as FC said she is getting desperate now FC said she is capable of anything and not even the police worry her, she even threatens to kill herself. Has any one else ever had a bp like this??


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Mumandad are contact sessions still taking place?!


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Littlepoppy no contact stopped after we went to matching panel back in November bp had a goodbye visit, however, bm has applied for contact to start up again according to FC.


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

Hi Mumanddad - just popping in to say I'm thinking of you and hope you've finally had some news.


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Ciacox - unfortunately no news yet, I met our new sw on my last visit to see lo on Tuesday she seems nice but at the moment I've got no faith in them. The local judge that needs to sign off the transcript was back on Monday however sw didn't know is she had signed it yet and told me that it's not a matter of urgency and if more urgent cases come in they take priority.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

HOW can this not be a matter of urgency?!?!??!

Oh Mumanddad, I'm so sorry.    (((((((hugs))))))))


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Aoc - I'm absolutely at the end of my teather the strain this is putting on our family is unbearable, words cannot describe what hell this is. I'm just dreading bm getting her appeal granted it feels like nothing is going in our favour, I was hoping a new year would bring good news but I can't help feeling less and less positive as the days pass.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

I wish I had something useful to do/say.  :-/  I can easily imagine how horrific this must be.  Do I have it right that the BM is asking for the right to appeal?  So even if she can appeal, it's still fairly unlikely the appeal would be granted?

Just try and parcel the days up into bite size pieces you can cope with.  Take compassionate leave from work if you can, or if that's relevant.  Can you go away as a couple for a couple of days, and leave your SW in charge of fielding calls just to give you a break from the tension?  What else would you do in periods of high stress or bereavement (because this is what this is acting like on you) to support and comfort yourselves?

Deep breaths.  Step by step, look after yourselves (and I mean that as an active thing to do, not a platitude) and eyes on the prize.

So, so many hugs.  My heart hurts for you.


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

I work part time from home so I spend a lot of time in and out of the nursery  I just can't concentrate on anything it is just consuming my thoughts all the time. We've been out for a meal for a break from home but we just end up talking about the situation.
Bm has won the right to have he case read by the high court judge and it's his decision if an appeal gets granted, sw says there is nothing in the paperwork that concerns them but they also told us once intros started nothing could stop it. 
Just got to keep praying


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Mum&Dad I just can't begin to imagine what you must be going through, I guess we all know there is always a possibility of something stopping things right up until that last minute, but we never believe it will be us it happens to as the chances are so slim.

I feel at a loss for words that this is not being considered a priority? You emotions must be all over, i wish I could come and give you a big hug!

I feel furious for you, I just wish there was some way we could all help.

Stay strong and focus on the end goal xxx


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

How this isn't seen as a matter of urgency is disgusting. I'm lost for words how the system continually fails the innocent children and makes good people suffer. I can't imagine how you must feel, I am so upset this is still being dragged out. Really wishing you some news, and good news at that, very soon xxx


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## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

So sorry that this is still dragging on for you, it's so awful to just be waiting for news. Really hope you hear soon and that if positive news that you can proceed again x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Found out this afternoon that bm has another court date in our local court next week trying to revoke the PO how can this be when she has got a case for appeal on going with the high court. I'm totally confused.


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

Are the LA planning on paying for you to get some legal advice? would think its the least they could do


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

I imagine these cases are rare enough that the SW's have no clue - what about the LA legal department - can they help or get some expert legal advice? I do wonder if you don't keep pushing them how much urgency they are placing on supporting you and finding out everything they can.

I agree with others though that it is so disappointing that the courts do not place a higher urgency on this - I could understand them dragging their feet before matching but when this poor child has been confused by intros it's just digusting to leave it hanging. Obviously lack of consideration for adopters is acceptable apparently!!


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

I really think you need to take some independent legal advice from a children's panel solicitor - they will be able to explain exactly what the procedure is and find out accurately what stage things are at and what the hearing in your local court is for. It could just be that the judge dealing with the case is going to have the hearing at your local courthouse. It is utterly outrageous this has happened and you deserve clear answers. A formal complaint sounds like it's in order so that no-one else has to suffer the way you have. The la can't control whether a birth parent files an appeal but they can control what happens after that and they have failed you and little one massively by not knowing what to do and giving you incorrect information which has cost you all valuable contact time. Sending you all massive hugs and the strength to get through this


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