# possibly going to be a surrogate



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

hi guys, trying to rally together some ff's to give me some support, advice and words of wisdom,

Me and dh know this couple who have been ttc for 21 years and have had 7 failed ivf's.  And when they looked into surrogacy their friend who had offered to do it was said to have been too old. When I was pg I started to think maybe I could surrogate for them.  Its something that I never ever stopped thinking about, and after plucking up the courage the other night I called them and offered my womb. (host surrogacy).  

And so the ball is rolling....  They were delighted and wanted to go for it, of course there are many hurdles in the way her age being one she is 41, I think me being 26 and perfectly healthy should be a positive thing,  I have a son and we know we are very unlikely to have a second baby unless its a miracle. 

I would love to hear from you about your experiences, what I should consider, and what to expect really.  

It might come to nothing, they have an appt on 12th November to find out more about it.  I suppose I will have to have councelling etc.


Oh one thing before I go, I've had a few negative comments from people I would consider to be friends saying things like "could you give your baby away"?    Well I don't think it would be my baby at alll, but has anyone else experienced this and how do you deal with it.  My dh, mother sister and best friends are totally behind me one hundred and ten percent.

Also what about neighbours etc asking questions when or if I develop a bump, I would generally just tell the truth yeah I'm pregnant but its not mine, anyone care to offer some words of wisdom on this.

looking forward to chatting, 

Young d


----------



## surromummyuk (Oct 4, 2007)

well youve got my number hun if you fancy a chat,as regards others comments,well i get the same ones all the time
how can i give my baby away? - i am having this baby for my friend and nothing in the world beats the feeling i get when i see my couple holding their 2 babies whom i carried for them,the love surrounding that family is beautiful,what can beat that?(usually keeps them quiet!)

you must get paid well -  well how much do you consider reasonable expenses for putting my life on hold for 9 months,creating a beautiful life,putting my health at risk and finally producing a much yearned for baby?

how did you get pregnant? - i get the most amazingly dumb questions!including nurses/doctors!in my case im a ts and i say artificial insemination,then i sometimes get the how?question,its noones business hun and tell them so


----------



## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Hi Young D !

What a wonderful surrogate you will be  

I will come back and answer some of your Qs when I have more time but didn't want it to go days without replying !

If you ever want to PM me, or are on MSN then let me know 

Take care
Jennifer xx xx


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Thanks for that.

My dh is looking forward to telling the neighbours that I'm pregnant but its not his, he is usually so reserved but we have one neighbour who is an auld git, he interferes with everything, so that will be fun lmao

On another note, a wee update, what should I call "my couple"?? Anyway she's now waiting on having scans done to see if she is producing eggs herself? and we'll take it from there, 

One of the problems we have is we can't have the tx at Edinburgh which we'd both hoped for because we've both had tx there in the past but they won't do it. so will need to go to Dundee or Glasgow... Our Dr is looking into it for us.  

Just wish things would move faster  .

Donna xxx


----------



## SWEETCHEEKS (Sep 15, 2005)

OMG donna.... I say you go for it girl ...  

My friends trying and needs ivf, shes my bestest friend in the whole wide world and i would indeed lend her my 'womb' if i needed too !!!! 

good luck...

Sweetcheeks xxx


----------



## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi
I think what you are doing is an amazing thing    .

We had our SIL do it for us, and what we feel for her for trying can't be put into words.

Good Luck with your journey 

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Fruitbat24 (Nov 6, 2006)

Hi

Just to say it is a really nice thing you are doing.  You sound really sensible.  Good Luck with everything!


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Sabreena thats one thing i've never been called before lmao!  

thanks for all your comments. they really keep me motivated.  

Hey sweets how are you? its been a while aye?


Jo, thank you for your comment, its good to know, I think even if it doesnt work they'll know they've tried everything. I'm dreading being pg, but its a very small price to pay for such a gift. 

Donna xx


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Just to update you,  

the lady I'm wanting to surro for has recently discovered she has another fabroid??  ERI don't want to do it at all.  I'm not sure what fabroids are so I'm going to have to investigate cos we were hoping to use her own egg.

This is taking so long......


----------



## EJ_wales (Mar 8, 2007)

Fibroids are benign (non-cancerous) growths in the womb.  I believe they can be painful and cause very heavy periods.


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

lgft even if she has 3?  I was under the impression these fabroids would stop her producing eggs.  the clinic has recommended a hysterectomy  .  Its hard because she doesnt speak fantastic english, maybe i've picked her up wrong.


----------



## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

Hi

I just wanted to try to reassure you lots of ladies have fibroids and most are removed without problems.  I have heard/ read horror stories of size of grapefruit fibroids which have been removed and ladies gone on to have normal pregnancies.... perhaps your IP is being advised to have a hysterectomy because the doctor has 'assumed'   she won't be having children... some doctors do have a habit of recommending hysterectomies - mine included  

I think you should speak to her again hun, please remind her that she doesn't have to follow the recommendations (although i'm not saying DON'T have it as I don't know what the overall diagnosis is...)

Good luck hun.

Bev xx


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Thanks for the pm with the link i'll come and take a look.  Spoke to my couple tonight, she is waiting for a letter from ERI cos the Dr told her he'd write with a list of options almost 3 months ago, I don't have the heart to tell her but I think he just doesnt care and we'll have to go this alone, time isnt on our side as it is...

Can't beleive the Dr's would offer unnecessary hysters thats unbeleivable.


----------



## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

Hi Young D

I just wondered how things were going with your IP?  

Bev x


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Hey ladies

well its been a fight to get the dr at edinburgh to help us at all,  so we've just got all her paperwork delivered on friday and can now hopefully get an appt at Dundee.  It  really has been a nightmare to even get this far.  

Onwards and upwards hey......

donz

thanks jess I love looking at the montage too, I lost alot of his baby pics cos I didnt back them up but many are on that montage lol.


----------



## jayb (Apr 22, 2005)

Young D - I think What you are doing is amazing and so selfless. It has always amazed me how everything about infertility is so hard, nothing every seems straight forward.
Well done and I wish you all the best.

Jaybxx


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement.  The longer it takes the more determined it makes me.  Think the lady I'm doing it for is terrified I'm going to back out the longer it goes but I'm not going anywhere till we have at least tried.

your support means so much

xxxx


----------



## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

Hi D, i'm glad you've finally got the paperwork... onwards and upwards, fingers crossed this will be SO worth it.

Bev xx


----------



## Young D (Oct 17, 2005)

Well a bit of positive feed back for you ladies today.

My couple had an appt at Glasgow today as Edinburgh basically turned us away and they seem alot more positive about the whole thing. 

Ideally what we want is for her to produce eggs to be put back into me with her dh sperm but the chances of her having eggs are quite slim so we will prob go down the route of donor egg. g-gow have suggested we go to spain for this as its so readily available.  but they are going to try for her eggs fiirst. wohooooooooooo


WATCH THIS SPACE.....


----------



## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

Excellent news on getting accepted at another clinic hun, fingers crossed for your IP's eggies.. good luck with your journey hun

Bev xx


----------



## Wantafamily (Nov 10, 2007)

HI Young D,

Just wanted to wish you luck in your surrocacy story.

Also, I just watched your link,  and it was sooooo lovely, your little boy is beautiful, and you are a great mum.

I have been having doubts about my ability to be a mum one day, but looking at your pictures has made me realise that one day I will be a Mum, as I have so much love to give, just like you.

Love knights1 x x


----------

