# My story so far....



## Son (Aug 31, 2011)

I joined here yesterday after stumbling across FF whilst Googling info on the medication I'd just been prescribed by my doctor. Everyone seems so lovely & you all know what you're talking about so I'm feeling a little bit daft at the mo   
Not even sure that I actually 'fit in' on this site & feel abit of a fraud because people are talking about their various, heart-felt, treatments & I'm not at that stage yet.....

I'm 34, DP is 45; we both have children from previous relationships but have been TTC consciously since Nov 2007 - to be honest we've been together 8 years & we've never really used contraception, yet we've never got pregnant with a baby of our own. 
We spent about 18months or so TTC naturally after which time I saw my doc who arranged for me to have a series of blood tests on certain days of my cycle over the period of about 4 months - all of which came back with good results   Next my DP had to have his little swimmers analysed, again these came back fine. 
Doc advised us to be pleased with these results, relax abit more & "see how we go for a few months". I'm not one to be pushy so I went away & over the next few months I felt as though my heart was breaking more & more with each cyle.

Summer 2010 & I went back to my doctor & practically begged him to refer us; I had my 1st initial appt at the hospital in the Sept - had FSH, LH, Prolactin, TSH, Testosterone done & was told to call for the results the following month & wait for an appt for HSG to come through. Spent the nxt 6 weeks chasing the hospital for my results, being fobbed off with stories of 'the right person not being there for me to spk to' or 'not all the results were rdy yet'. In the November I get a letter saying that they are sorry for the inconvenience caused but the lab had lost my tests so could I go back in to start them over!! I was gutted & thought it was a sign that we were tempting fate or something but my DP convinced me to go back. I did & in January was told that FSH was 8.6, LH 10.9, testosterone 0.9, prolactin 164 & TSH 4.17 - not even sure exactly what this all meant but was reassured that "all were normal".
I had my HSG beginnning of April was gutted that I couldn't have the results there & then - I kept thinking that surely the doctor must have known what she was looking at on the monitor but she wouldn't give me any indication of the outcome   My follow up appt was in June!! Here I was told that the outcome of all the tests that we'd had done to date were postive & that our chances of spontaneous contraception are reasonably good. They said my uterine cavity was enlarged & possibly irregular (??) but they didn't think was too great an issue. They advised to give it another few months & then, if no BFP, my GP would arrange a script for Clomid 50mg. I, cheekily, tried that same day to get my GP to prescribe these for us but he was having none of it & told me to wait   
Anyway, nrly 3 months on my doc finally gave me the prescription yesterday; 50mg day 2-6 over the next 2 cycles then 100mg day 2-6 over the following 2 cycles. I took my 1st pill yesterday & felt nothing but today I'm sooooo teary & have a monster headache but I'm thinking this is probably because of the weather & the tears are just because I'm feeling overwhelmed   

So you see in terms of treatments, this is early days compared to many but my emotions over the years have been through turmoil & I feel as though the NHS have completely treated me 'as a name on an appt sheet' or just as a 'hospital number' rather than as a person. Nothing has ever really been explained to me; even with the Clomid I was just given the prescription & that was it, I wasn't advised anything along with it.
My GP told me that it looks like myself & my DP fall into the 15% of people whose infertility is just unexplained & because we both have children by previous relationships & because of our ages we wouldn't get funding for IVF so if in 4 months the Clomid hasn't helped then we will be referred to a private clinic.

I'm sorry I've waffled but once I got going I've just kinda gone on & on haven't I??! Ooooops! If you have read my waffle then thank you for taking the time - not sure how much sense I've made, I confuse myself most of the time trying to comprehend all this.

Not sure, what happens next for myself. We're not getting any younger so maybe like some people have told me over the years; I should be thankful for the wonderful children we already have & just start living our lives. (Doesn't make the ache to hold mine & my DP's baby in my arms go away though does it? Its not something that I can make go away over night - I already desperately love a baby that we haven't even got).

x


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## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Hiya Son - Welcome hun u will find massive of support on here everyone is so nice!!! 

I felt exactly the same as u hun about just being a number.  I had to fight and fight for my DR to take me serious.  In the end I referred myself to a private clinic and paid for all the tests myself.  My own Dr kept saying that everything was fine and i was still very young (I was 21) and these things take time etc.  I could have screamed obviously not everything was fine otherwise I would have been preggies and would probably have a few by now if it was up to me instead I am 28 and had 4 IUI''s and i am on my 2nd go of IVF.  When I went private they initially gave me clomid for 6 month and honestly I was evil on it. I had terrible mood swings and was crying all the time (I hope I havent put u off).  I was even on the clomid on my wedding day   .  But hopefully it will work for u hun and it will all be worth.  

Don't forget hun ur not alone and we all need support whatever stage we are at whether its the beginning of our journeys or the middle etc.  

I    it all works out for u and u have ur perfect little bundle of joy very soon.

If u ever need to chat PM me we are all here for u.  

xxx


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## lola33 (May 17, 2011)

Hi Son,

If I were you I would take those results to a fertility clinic and discuss them with a consultant. No offense, but GP's are not fertility doctors and do misinterpret results sometimes. I'm in no way an expert, so don't take my word for it, but there is a couple of things that stand out. Your FSH is 8.6, which is fine, but your LH is 10.9 and as far I understand LH should be as high or lower than your FSH, your is just slightly higher, so probably not a big deal. Your TSH I think is fine health wise, but it should be below 2 for optimum fertility. The problem is according to NHS, a lot of resutls that are not so good, fall in to "normal" category. It happened to me, my FSH was 10.8, which is too high, but my GP labeled it as normal, luckily I knew better. Have you had a day 21 blood test for progesterone, to see if you are ovulating , I'm sure you have, it is one of the basic tests, but you didn't mentioned it, so I thought I ask.

I really hope I didn't  freak you out, but I think it is worth getting a fertility consultans view on it rather than GP 

Xx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Son!!! This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship, it has kept me (relatively!) sane though all my treatment. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. Don´t worry, all the information you get bamboozled with at the beginning can be overwhelming, that is why this site is so great, there are so many sections with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you. We have people at various stages of treatment, so you are more than welcome!

Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with so much hassle to get to where you are now and have not been given all the necessary information. I don´t have any experience of the NHS (I live abroad) so I don´t know if that is typical of the NHS as a whole, or your hospital, or whether you just caught the staff on a bad day. We have a Clomid section that you might be interested in CLICK HERE There you can chat to other ladies going through exactly the same treatment.

We have been marked down as unexplained as well, and after 5 failed IUI´s, our first IVF worked. Me and my DH disagree on the "diagnosis", I think there must be something wrong or we would have conceived, wouldn´t we? But he just thinks that sometimes things happen (or in this case, don´t happen) and there doesn´t have to be a reason (that is where I resist the temptation to hit him!). Looking on the positive side, at least they can´t find anything wrong, but on the other hand, if they did find something wrong then at least they could do something about it, or at least give us some idea of our chances of conceiving naturally, at the moment we are in that big unknown, we still get that terrible disappointment each month. I did ask our clinic if there were any other tests they could do, but they said that they could (in theory) be testing and testing for years and in the meantime my biological clock would be ticking. The chances that it would be any of these other things was so remote that it wasn´t worth testing. They did IUI "just to see what would happen"! Here is the link to our unexplained section - CLICK HERE

I don´t think it matters whether you have children or not, even though I have my daughter I still have that urge for another one, it doesn´t necessarily go away once you have had a child. So I know exactly what you mean. We do have a secondary infertility section that you might be interested in ~ CLICK HERE

34 isn´t old! I was 38 when my daughter was born and we have a whole section dedicated to people over 40 trying to concieve and one of their first posts is full of success stories. So don´t listen to those people who said that you aren´t getting any younger! There is still hope at the grand old age of 34!!!   

Here are a couple of other links that I think might help you.

Preparing for treatment/pregnancy (incorporating sub boards of complimentary, holistic & spiritual approaches and supplements & fertility friendly foods) ~ CLICK HERE 

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site ~   CLICK HERE

We have a live chat room where you can meet other members, take part in themed chat events and gain a wealth of information from people who are or have been dealing with infertilty. New member chat is at 8pm on Wednesday, where we can introduce you to other members, show you around the chat room and help with any queries you may have both in the chat room and on the boards. Please take a look at the calendar and of course our Chat Zone: CLICK HERE

If you look on the main forum index you will find location boards. You can find others in your area, and even people going to the same clinic who will provide invaluable advice - some groups even have meet ups.

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together.

Good luck!                 

Sue


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## Son (Aug 31, 2011)

Hey guys - thanks for replying to my msg, much appreciated.

EmmaLily; Well 2moro is my last day of my 1st cycle but im not sure that ive had any side effects so ive got it into my head that its made no difference to me   Ive been very warm at night time but im sure that its just the weather, ive had a few cramps but im pretty sure that id have had these anyway during my period & ive been abit teary but i think that this is because im over-thinking everything!!?! 
How are things with you sweet??

lola33; Thanks for your response, i just took what my dr said as gospel but i appreciate & understand your comment about my results - i think we'll be going to a private clinic in the nxt month or so, so will defo point out what you've said  

Wraakgodin; Awwww, thanks for the lovely welcome   The information here has been soooooo valuable & everyone is super lovely - im more than pleased that i joined FF.

 to all...xxx


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## Son (Aug 31, 2011)

Omg, im sooooo hot   I mean like duvet off, fan on, window open & still too hot!!
Its silly o'clock & im wide awake - i need to sleep please  

 to all...xxx


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## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

awww Son hope u get a better sleep tonight   !!!! 

Im really good cant wait for my scan tomorrow to see if I am responding to the injections and then accupanture straight after my app.  I have been a bit grizzy tonight but not sure if its the drugs or if its because my dh is working away tonight.  

I hope ur ok hun and dont forget ur not alone


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## Son (Aug 31, 2011)

Hiya EmmaLily
How'd your scan go hun??

xxx


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## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Hiya hun, 

I am well.  How r u?  I am actually on my 2WW I am PUPO with two little embryos.  2WW is definately the hardest part of this process.  

How is things with u hun?

xxx


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## Son (Aug 31, 2011)

Hey EmmaLily, so hows your 2ww going?? Does it feel like an eternity??!!  
My AF is due nxt Mon & I can tell that she's going to arrive, despite our 1st round of clomid - just wish Monday would hurry along now so that I can be getting myself geared up for our 2nd round. Will be at work this time so im not looking forward to the side effects kicking in whilst im in school!!  
Keep me updated with your PUPO - I'm crossing my fingers & toes for you sweet  
Take care.
 ... xxx


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