# HELP - FIRST HOME VISIT!!!



## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Hi ladies,

Hope someone can help, we have our first home visit next Tuesday and I am worried about what happens.
I know it is about the sw getting to know us and to see if we are ready. ( we had our 7th and last ivf tx in Sep)

I would just like to know what kind of questions they are going to ask and what questions we should ask.
This has happened much sooner than I thought it would, we only sent our application forms on the 21/12/10!!!!

Any information would be very welcome.
Thank you
Skyblu.


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## Loobys (Nov 14, 2010)

Hi

We had our initial visit on the 15/12.

Before they came I was a nervous wreck not knowing what to expect bit it's nothing to worry about.

Ours lasted about 2 and half hours they basically went though all we put on our forms Inc the tx, our family, our relationship etc, we got to ask questions as well,I could of chatted for hours to them.

They had a look around our flat as well.

They then invited us on the prep course which starts on 17th jan 

I hope this has helped xx

H xx


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Pretty much the same as Hawkett! I was surprisingly nervous before she arrived, and during the visit, but she was lovely. Asked lots of questions about us, our relationship, our expectations of children, our tx history, and our families and friends. She told us before she left that she was recommending us and I nearly burst into tears there and then! 
She didn't look round the house, just said it looked plenty big enough! 
Good luck!!! So exciting


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Clomidia (love the name)

Thank you for your msg, the home visit was yesterday and it went o.k I don't think they think I am quite ready yet as it was only in July when I had my last m/c and Sept when we had our last IVF, but everything else went fine.
She was here for 2 hrs and they went so fast, I just hope I get the o.k in 2/3 weeks time.
I am so ready for this and we just want to move forward.

I just clicked onto your ivf journey it was so moving it brought back so many memories, I just wish I did one.
Where are you now on your adoption journey?

Also thks Hawkett for your msg and good luck on your journey
Skyblu.xx


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hi skyblu 

Thanks    I'm glad I wrote it too... it helps. I think I might have to do another diary for this process now... 

It'll be interesting to hear what sw says about waiting or not for you. Some people are accepted straight away but I think the guidelines are that you should have to wait at least six months after last tx. (So you are not far off that anyhow!) Our VA recommends a year and we had at least that. 

I know it's hard having to wait and all I wanted to do after the last IVF was just have a baby SOMEhow, but in our case we really needed our year out to get our heads together somewhat. I really needed time to grieve for not having our own child - biologically - and all that goes with that: never being pregnant, never having a teeny baby, never getting to choose the name, never seeing how they look like me/dh - all of that stuff had to be dealt with, and dh really needed time to get over things. 

Not that I think you ever do get over it of course, but at least you have a bit of time to take a break. I am overwhelmed now with how quickly things are happening with the agency.   We came back from Christmas hols to loads of paperwork; reference requests have gone out, we did our medical, we start our Prep course next week (it's 1 day per week for 4 subsequent weeks) and our social worker rang this week to introduce herself and arrange her first visit... phew! my head was in a tizzy on Weds     

It should feel like it's been a long time, because we first made enquiries in the summer, then we had our open day in September, then our sw interview in October, but our official application to adopt was sent off on 1 December so they are aiming to get us to Panel by summer, and it's all systems go. I even dared to look at kids stuff this week.... haven't done that in years!!   

Keep us posted for how you get on!! 
CX


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

We had our first home visit today and it was nowhere near as bad I was expecting.  She did look round the house but not in any great depth just to check we had space etc for children.  She asked about some of the things we had put on our application form, and asked about our past tx etc.  I found it OK, even though I was really nervous.

We had our last tx about a year ago and gave ourselves 6months off before even pursuing adoption which was right for us.  We are now so excited about moving on to completing our family through adoption!

Good luck Skyblu, keep us posted

xx


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Clomidia and liveinhope,

Thank you so much for your replies, it really helps being in contact with people who have and are going through the same things.

Clomidia, I am glad things are moving really well for you, where abouts do you live?
Also you mentioned about not being able to name the child you are placed with, this is not necessary true.
My dh auntie fosters babies short term,( from birth until they are adopted) and she had a boy named, let's just say "Josh" and the adopted parents then renamed him after he was legally theres.
I think this will depend on how old the child is but it is something you could ask at your next visit.

Liveinhope, well done on getting through your first home visit.
It is not as bad as we seem to think, but I wished I didn't blub when we talked about the m/c.
But we are human beings and do have feelings, I just hope it doesn't go against us.

Good luck to you both and keep me posted how you both get on.
Thinking of you.
Skybluxx


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Oh skyblue   

I think we all have to have a blub sometime - I bawled my eyes out yesterday when I read the reference our friends wrote for us; it was beautiful. Honest, tender, so so lovely. I'm welling up just thinking about it!!!    I don't think I'm going to be able to hold back the tears on some occasions but I am going to be honest and say, this is me, I get emotional - I don't keep things inside and tense up, I'd rather let it out - surely that's a positive thing?   

We are in London sweetie (and we are looking up to age 7 so probably won't be able to change names, but that's fine!) 

Livinhope, I am so excited for you too!! Have you got dates/prep course booked yet? I can't believe we start next week... oooh my head   
Edited: just saw your ticker that you start in Feb.. oooh exciting! Looking forward to sharing the journey with you gals x


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

I'm definitely an emotional person so cant imagine I will manage the whole process without crying at some point.  As you say if that's who you are, why hide it?

Not too far from you Clomidia as we're in Kent.

Our prep course starts 16th Feb, there's 5 sessions which finish 8 April.  Its really not that far away! It feels like for once our life is taking a positive direction

How did it go skyblu?

xx


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Hi girls

Thanks again for your kind msgs.

Clomidia I'm from Ceredigion in Wales, there isn't many adopters in our area.
It really can go both ways, either it will be quite quick if I get on the training in April, if I don't get approved for that one and they want us to wait a little longer we will have to wait until September for the next one.
I really hope we get on the April one.

Liveinhope keep me posted how you get on
Skyblu.xx


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Oh good luck with that then skyblu! Hope you hear soon! 

Liveinhope, the first session was great - all the other couples are lovely and we really seem to gel, and understand each other, and are respectful so all good so far (still emotional at times, but definitely encouraging!!!) 

xx


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