# Apparently its greed that motivates us to want a baby so much...



## MrsMaguire (May 25, 2009)

Hiya,

I've had a bit of a wobble today, since having another miscarriage y'day I was greeted with another pregnancy announcement from a family member. I met my cousins for a drink and to pass on some more stuff of my sons, they were saying that their second pregnancies were going really well, but the best bit is how they'll get more money and not be expected to work for another 3/4 years. (With one splitting up with the Dad due to pregnancy being a bit of a shock!) 

I work really hard from home at the moment due to ill health, I also study to enhance my career prospectsin the future. I was having a conversation with a friend and this other person commented how 'Some people should be happy with what they've got!' I made a tongue in cheek comment about how its easy to say such things when fertility problems aren't the bane of your life! I'm totally floored by the next comment, where the individual said that all people with fertility problems are fueled by greed and stupidity! 

I'm totally blessed to have an amazing son, recently he's been asking about how brother and sisters work, where you buy them from, how he'd like a baby as his best friend loves her big sister. We are trying but where before our problems were conceiving, although miscarriages were an issue, this time its miscarriage after miscarriage. Nothing motivates me to succeed again other than making my husband a dad and my son a big brother. 

This is the same friend who uses abortion as a form of contraception, the same friend who offered her services as a surrogate but would only charge us £15k! 

Chocolate biscuits have never tasted so good! 

xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Gosh words fail me, I don't get wound up by ignorant views of infertility in the press anymore but your friend's  attitude stinks and is very insensitive to you nd your losses - not someone I personally would have as a friend- I can believe she offered to be a surrogate for £15k which isn't even legal! Plus after so many abortions what makes her think she'd even be a candidate as she may have damaged her womb plus it doesn't sound as though she has the right mentality to be a surrogate anyway.

I don't think it is gree that motivates us, more like motivates her wanting your money, as I have spent in excess of £80K and now going down a surrogacy route but it is determination and desire that keeps us going through misery and despair and knowing that one day we will be a great mummy.
L


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## caspa28 (Feb 9, 2011)

I cant belive someone can say stuff like that.....I think any one that can  use abotion as a form of contriception is so morally wrong and charging to be your surrogate....!

Its defently not greed that fules its the the love and care that we have that we want toi put to good use loving a child.


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## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Why is this woman still your friend?  Does she have other redeeming features?

What motivates us to do endless amounts of treatment varies from one person to another.  For me I did want a baby of course I did, but I was motivated more by wanting to give my ex DH his dream.  Left to my own devices if I'd have found I couldn't have children I'd probably have just had extra dogs and cats! But my DH desperately wanted a baby and I put myself through 4 cycles of treatment to achieve that dream for him.

I wouldn't even bother arguing with her she clearly doesn't get it, so just try to focus on talking about stuff that isn't IF related.

Axxx


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