# New to FF. First failed ivf - how do you get through the wait to start again?



## Fingerscrossed23 (Jan 12, 2011)

Hi FF,

I'm new to FF and our first attempt at ivf was unsuccessful last week. I produced 14 good eggs, but overnight the sperm did not fuse. There was nothing the clinic could do the Dr said they couldn't have foreseen this would happen. I feel completely devastated and empty after everything i went through with looking after myself and the injections. I am 30 years old and we have been ttc for 6 long years!!! We got so fed of waiting on the NHS we paid privatly. I know we can try again in apr hopefully with ICIS, but I can't help thinking "what if?" which I know doesn't help. Any advise on how I get through the next month and has anyone been through similar? I need to wait for my cycle to get back to normal before we can start our next treatment. Did anyones cycle change after the treatment or did it take longer for your period to come? 

Thank you for any support you can give.

Jenny


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## Lou F ❁ (Feb 28, 2003)

*WELCOME TO FF*

*JENNY060*
*Am so sorry to read about your problems, i have been there back in 2006 10 eggs 0 fertilisation    we were like you devastated, I cant say how we got through it i guess we just plodded on like you do and looked at ways that would help in the future. Once you stop your meds your AF(cycle) will arrive then it's down to your body to get back to normal !! It might knock you out of sync for a month or so but fingers crossed it will be ok.*
*     GOOD LUCK     *

*Wanted to say Hello and welcome you to FF, my role here of FF as a MOD is to make sure you find your way as easy as possible, hopefully this message will do that  Am so glad that you have found us, hopefully you will meet like minded people that will help and support you through what can be a very hard stressful journey. There are many members here on FF with a true understanding of what you are going through at all stages that infertility throws at you  FF has brought so many people together and helps form many new friendships that may last many years, I certainly have and my life is richer for it. It's hard when family and friends dont fully comprehend what the IF journey entails and the emotions that go with it, Thats where FF comes in to play. *
*I hope that you will find the links i have left you helpful and direct you where you need to be until you find your feet, which wont be long i can assure you. If there is anything that you still need to find give me or any MOD a shout and we will be happy to help you  *
*Links to follow..........................................*

*What Every New Member Needs to Know*
CLICK HERE

*Fertility Guides *
CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. 
The *Cycle Buddies* threads are just for that.
Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment

*Cycle buddies *
CLICK HERE

*Peer Support*
CLICK HERE

*Male factors* ~ CLICK HERE

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

*Post Negative Cycle Support ~ *CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk  Community & Fun Board *
CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:
You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here. 
CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also meet and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck    and  
Keep in touch
Lou


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## virgo1982 (Jan 31, 2011)

Jenny

Welcome to FF, i am so sorry to hear that hun, im in a similar position, but didn't get as far as you   I went friday for my pre-theare scan and found out that i wasn't responding as i should.. so have had my 1st ICSI stopped.. im totally devastated, and am finding things so hard.. i just want to get going with cycle number 2!! So i know how your feeling, when you have gone through weeks of injections, and scans its a really big set-back, and i totally understand..
Hope your ok, chin up hun     

XX


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## julesg39 (Jul 1, 2010)

Hi Jenny

Sorry to hear your first attempt didn't work.  I did my first cycle in October, like you was very good and then I didn't get any eggs.  Although I had told myself it might not work, I was devastated.  Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say to you, you will get through this.  The clinic will want you to have one natural period before you start again.

I've just had EC today, only 2 eggs, but 200% better than last time and fingers crossed for fertilisation this time.  Keep your pecker up and try not to get obsessed (I know it's hard), but take some time with DH and do some nice things that you can't do while trying, (nice meals, prawns, pate, etc......nice wine, cocktails, strictly come dancing classes ;-).

The other good thing is the next time round you know what to expect, it makes it all much easier.

Good luck,
Jx


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## virgo1982 (Jan 31, 2011)

Jenny

Anything i can do to help just ask, keep your chin up hun xx


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## julesrules (Sep 12, 2010)

Hi Jenny
Sorry to hear about your 1st attemt, it truely is crushing, but we women seem to be able to pick ourselves up and go again - stay strong. When our 1st IVF cycle (Oct 2010) was a BFN I was just so sad - only way to describe it really, but my periods became spot on regular for 3 months from being all over the place. Just have some 'us' time with your hubby and get away for a break if you can
Sending you lots of positivity
love jules x


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## thunderstix (Feb 7, 2011)

hi jenny, just wanted to welcome you to FF & tell you that i know exactly what youre going through.
dh & i have just had an unsuccessful 1st ICSI attempt. i had E/C last monday & only had 1 egg which didnt fertilise. i went back to work this monday & am just going through the motions to be honest.
i feel very much 'in limbo' & feel a bit surreal & weird about it all 
dh is amazing & we are getting through it together along with great support from my mum.
we have applied for a 2nd nhs funded cycle & have been told that there is approx 6 month wait for this.
have had a bad week eating & drinking naughty things (chocolate & wine! ) but we are starting afresh with our healthy eating/exercise regime next monday & i have bought a load more supplements for us (after a bit more research!). i have also bought a digital ovulation kit as you never know, miracles happen & we've got nothing to lose. i figure we've got 6 months of trying naturally whilst in the meantime getting ourselves as healthy as possible for our next attempt.
i didnt post on here for several days after our bad news last tuesday & only came back online this monday. however, the support i have received this week has been phenomenal & i can truly say that i do feel better now than i did at the start of the week. i feel as though ive made a load of new friends & the fact that everyone is going through similar stuff means we all understand how each other feels & you dont have to feel guilty spilling your guts day after day or even if you dont feel like posting for a few days - theres no pressure & no expectations, just support 
sending you lots of    &


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## Eli1000 (Feb 17, 2008)

Girls,
My DH had awful sperm and we tried every vitamin going..wellman, fertilaid (imported from America) and also a concotion of my own which in the end gave him heart palpatations...oooppps!!! None seemed to make a difference but then I found Zita West's website and decided to buy her vitamen vitamins which did seem alot stronger with added extra ingredients than the others. Fortunately he was on these in time for the ICSI and when they took his sample it was normal    !!! So Im sure those vits helped...we hadnt made any other changes!!

Good Luck xxx


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