# Where to begin



## kyotesummer (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi, 

My DP and I are planning to start TTC in the not too distant future, and are trying to gather the necessary information to decipher how to proceed.

I am having no trouble finding information about the process once the wheels are in motion, however am struggling to find anything useful on how to start, right from the very beginning.

I am 28(f) and DP is 38(f), and I have also posted this on the egg share board, as that is an option we are considering.

Is there any information out there which will explain the entire process from start to finish, right from making the decision to TTC, before you have spoken with a doc/clinic? So maybe beginning with booking that first app with the GP? I have been searching and cannot find anything that has this kind of info (it is probably staring me in the face), so hoped someone here may be able to help. I am little bit daunted to say the least, as never go to docs unless a limb is hanging off, and I know that should we embark upon this journey that will no doubt change. We would plan to go through a clinic, as not keen on the idea of home insem/known donor.

If we were going to start our journey today (for example only) what would we need to do to get the ball rolling? 

Thanks in advance x


----------



## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

Do you know where you are having treatment?  If in the UK, does your PCT offer funding or are you going to have to go self-funded?  The GP might not be overly useful with this aspect, so it's worth a good google yourself.

For me, I started looking at clinics before I went to the GP but that's because I wouldn't get any funded treatment so I started researching private options.  I ended up choosing a clinic abroad for financial reasons but certainly I dug out as much info on clinics within my travelling area that I could.  Have a good look through the section of the forum for your area, there will be discussions on various local clinics there for you.  There might even be some info about funding in your PCT or someone who can help you.

You may have already found it and it might not be much use, but there's a Stonewall leaflet called Pregnant Pause (I think) which might outline some options for you.

And good luck!  You will find a path that works for you, it just might take a little time to find it.


----------



## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

Welcome kyotesummer!

As inciwincy said, your local clinics can provide a lot of information. Finding clinics nearby and checking out their websites could be a good start. Most clinics will have open evenings where you will be given a lot of information which we found initially overwhelming. So, we went to a second evening (differnet) to ask all the questions that had come up after the first one.

For most private clinics you will not need a GP referral. You do, however, for a lot of NHS run clinics, even if you are going private. We had different experiences with both our GPs. My partners GP initially refused to refer us. Later, I want to my GP with a list of blood tests a private clinic had given me. My GP was happy to help, which saved us a few £.

Funding is a mindfield and regionally varying. You do not qualify for funding on the basis that you as a couple don't have sperm. If after some time of home insemination or IUI you have not gotten pregnant, you (should!) count as infertile just as any other couple / woman. However, if you come to this point and have had privately financed IVF, they may still not fund you. So, best not to rely on this!

A lot about the process is soul searching. Only you can decide what is best for the two of you.

Best of luck!


----------



## tinki (Oct 5, 2010)

Hi  
Just to add I'm sure you know this anyway but you can't egg share as an anonymous donor in the UK if you are over 35, HFEA, egg quality etc etc so you could egg share and donate to your partner if you wanted to buy she would only be able to have her own cycle or donate to you if that makes sense? X


----------



## kyotesummer (Apr 26, 2011)

Thanks everyone!

incywincy - No, not sure where yet, but would imagine it will be UK, not really thought much about abroad, maybe something for us to have a look into! Not sure about PCT, but we had not planned to try and obtain NHS funded treatment and don't think this will change for us. Don't know how I have missed the Stonewall leaflet, I thought I had already looked at that, but it was obviously a completely different thing that I had seen. Looks useful Thanks!!

Candy76 - Thank you, I will try some of our local clinics and see if there any open evenings coming up.

Tinki - yeah had seen that, with DP's age, and no real desire to actually be preggers, the one decision we had made was that I will (hopefully) be the one to carry, although DP is a little phobic about baby bumps, so not sure how that will work  . Thank you though!


----------

