# Hiya, im kelly, im 28 yo, not started ivf yet feeling very down about it all



## kelle28uk (Jan 8, 2012)

Hiya everyone
I'm Kelly, 28 years old, from derbyshire. Been with my partner now for almost 4 years and we are desperate to have a child of our own. We knew something was wrong after almost 2 years of ttc so went to see the doc.
After numerous tests etc, its turns out i wasn't ovulating due to being overweight and my partner did a sperm sample and there was no sperm present.
They thought i wasn't ovulating because i was overweight. I have since lost almost 3 st and cycles have returned to normal (from 48 days to 30-32 )
After further tests it turns out my partner carries the gene for cystic fibrosis and this can cause a condition which means he has no sperm in his semen. However he is producing sperm in his testicles it just cant get out. I have also had to have a blood test to make sure I'm not also a carrier of cystic fibrosis as this means a higher risk of conceiving a child with it. They have reassured me that it unlikely i will b but if i am we can still have IVF/ICSI but will need pgd also to ensure the eggs that fertilise don't have cystic fibrosis (complicated hey!)
My next appointment to make sure my weight is correct and my test results is April. Originally it was Jan but i have put a little weight on over the Christmas period so just want some extra time to get off the excess and get to optimum weight before i have my next appointment.
Its on the NHS we are having the treatment and once my test results etc are back and i am at optimum weight we can get referred and get started, we are lucky as there is no waiting list.
I have recently read a book about IVF etc and found it really helpful and it said it was helpful to join a chat forum and talk to others going Through the same as it really helps.
friends and family are great but i don't really have anyone who has gone through anything like this and its difficult to explain how I'm feeling. I get very down and bitter sometimes because everyone around me is pregnant and having babies so easily and some people take what the have for granted and this upsets me. I am trying to keep myself focused on my weight loss so that IVF isn't the only thing i think about because it was beginning to make me ill because it was all i could think about and i was upset all the time.
sorry if this has dragged on a bit and i hope i have explained myself well enough
looking forward to getting to know other people who know how i feel
thanks Kelly xx


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## pinkcat (Dec 3, 2008)

Welcome to FF Kelly! There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help. Don't worry in the world of FF your story isn't so complicated  . My Dh was also had a zero sperm count, so I know what a massive shock that is  At least you have found out that he does produce sperm and have a plan in place 

Here are some links I think you may find helpful

ICSI
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=31.0

You may not need PGD but just to let you know we have a section for it...
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=534.0

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi". 
click here

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site 
click here

Take a minute to look at our Site guidelines
click here

If you look on the main forum index you will find location boards. You can find others in your area, and even people going to the same clinic who will provide invaluable advice - some groups even have meet ups.

We have a live chat room where you can meet other members, take part in themed chat events and gain a wealth of information from people who are or have been dealing with infertility. New member chat is at 8pm on Wednesday, where we can introduce you to other members, show you around the chat room and help with any queries you may have both in the chat room and on the boards. Please take a look at the calendar and of course our Chat Zone: click here
Chat room: click here

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support and information.

Best of luck! 








Pinkcat


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## kirstykb1 (Jan 4, 2012)

hi kelly i only joined about a wk ago and i cant get off FF it is so helpful to talk 2 people in the same boat or there abouts. mY oh has low sperm count and im not ovulating but we have just started are second cycle of clomid so we can only try i suppose the good news is there's no waiting list for IVF were u live ive bin told it can b up 2 4yrs were i live BOLTON so im really hoping the clomid wrks really dont fink i cud wait that long so have been luking at egg sharing recently. Have they said how many try's u get of IVF?
as for people around u being pregnant tell me about it my sister in law is 7month gone my friend is 5month and my sister has just  miscarried CRAZY
anyway good luck 2 u and if u need a chat u are defo in the rite place this website is great xxx


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## kelle28uk (Jan 8, 2012)

pink cat thanks so much for the info that is very very helpful and much appreciated!!
kirsty i too am so glad i have joined!! had to tear myself away from the chat room last night it was lovely to talk to people who understand! 
i think the hardest thing i have found coping with (aside from the not gettin preg naturally) is deffo the pregnant people! my god its making me so bitter   and as much as i dont wanna b a bitter person i cant help it!   im almost angry wen yet another person tells me theyre pregnant! its all that i find hard to deal with as well as everythin else x


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## Guest (Jan 10, 2012)

Hi Kelly welcome to the site. 

Im sorry to read that you ahve been having problems and are feeling down about everything. Its is only natural to have down days, we all have them. It is a shame you have to wait a  bit longer for your appointment, this whole process has lots & lots of waiting unfortunately  

What clinic are you at? I live in Staffordshire and i am having treatment at Burton. 

We are having icsi, our first cycle. Am d/r at the moment. 

The weight loss is so hard. Ive had to watch my bmi in the run up to startign as it was borderline of what they would accept on nhs. I used to be  very overwieight but had lost most of it before we first went to the doctors. It really is hard. Are you with a slimming club or anything? We were told that if my hubby had the cystic fibrosis gene, and i did that we wouldnt be able to have any treatment, so thats good that you can have something isnt it. Hubby didnt carry it so thankfully we havent got that worry now. 

It is so hard when people are constantly telling you they are preg etc, i totally understand as does everyone on here. This site is amazinf i am lost without it now. No one can understand unless they are going through this process.

If ever you want a chat or anything hun just message me, i understand how hard it is. Try to stay positive.

Hi kirsty hope your ok and your clomid works hun 

   for both of you

lots of love

xxxx


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## kirstykb1 (Jan 4, 2012)

Thanks beckyboo
im still tryin 2 convince myself that i mite still b ovulating and keep draggin my bf upstairs as my cycle is around 32days im never really sure and i find opk to be unreliable 
so fingers crossed 4 the OTD
good luck 2 u all 
kirsty


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## piggy22 (Jan 6, 2012)

hi ya hun. Youve left me a message on another post so you probably already know that i kinda understand the bitterness and resentment that comes along with all the bad advise people give and the amount of ungreatful people falling pregnant with such ease and popping babies out like nobodies business. But your weight loss sounds positive, hearing its helped you get regular has actually motivated me to keep at this bloody diet lol. I too am loosing weight for fertility (1 1/2 stone so far). Ive read that being a health weight increases the chance of IVF working so keep up the good work. I suppose all we can do is do our best and (annoyingly) leave the rest to what happens happens. Its lifted my mood talking to people and reading post from people who know what im going through so hopefully it will do the same for you. PM me if u wana chat. take care and good luck! x


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Couldn't read and run, this site is an amazing source of support and laughter! it's def helped me stay sane so far. 

Best Wishes hun, hopefully see you on some threads in future 
X


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## kelle28uk (Jan 8, 2012)

Thanks bubble! u too hun xx


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## jo2004uk (Jan 6, 2012)

Hi all,
Hope you are all ok and dont mind me joining in.  
Im jo 27 and I also havent started IVF yet we should hear from the clinic in a couple of months.
I am having a down day today, most days I feel positive but I dont think the fact I sat and watched one born every minute helped!! Why do I do it to myself??
I completely understand the resentment and I feel as if im being nasty when I cant beam inside when Someone who has only DTD once can fall pregnant (my close friend), I find my self distancing myself from her since she told us she was expecting and I just cant help it!! 
We are also a couple part of a group of my DH close friends and we are the only couple to not fall pg it feels awful and although they know what we are going through, they dont understand. The comments we gets are "it will happen if you relax" "it oinly takes one little man" and "dont stress yourself out over it" I could cream at them.

I am so struggling with my weight being borderline underweight, I have been told if I drop any lower they wont do the treatment.
I am eating a healthy well balanced diet with plenty of carbs like they told me and i dont seem to be able to get any more weight on.

I do find the waiting really hard between appointments but am hopeing once we have our consultation at the bourn hall clinic it will go quite quickly from there.

Prehaps we could all meet in a chatroom one evening to have a chat.  

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Think it would be a good idea to meet in chat if we can all agree a night ?


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## Guest (Jan 12, 2012)

Hi Jo, welcome to the thread.

Im sorry to see you ahve been feeling down   It is a very emotional and unfair thing that we are all having to go through. And it is so upsetting when people get preg so easily. I have had those comments too 'it will happen, relax, when your not trying it will happen' blah blah bloomin blah as we all have had them and it is awful to keep hearing. Try to stay positive hun i know its hard.

I also watch one born, and think why am i watching it !! Hubby says im silly watching it but cant help myself.

Im the opposite on the weight i was borderlin on the overwieght bmi mine had to be 29 and it was 28.6 so i had to keeo an eye on it till i started tx from havign the go ahead. Luckily all was ok. Get munching them cream cakes hun    

I cant to chat on an evening, can only get on here in the day time at the mo, no net at home and my iphone does not like this site  

Lots of love all

xxx


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## kelle28uk (Jan 8, 2012)

i am more than up for us all having a chat room meet  thatd b lovely!!
would weds eve be ok for u all??
xxx
and jo welcome!!

i am not having a great time at the min!! completely stressed out!
xxxx


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## KaitsWishOnAMoonbeam (Mar 1, 2011)

Hi girls  

Been on here a while but im more of a lurker until recently. We're in the process of being tested and finding out if i have pcos and what state my uterus and tubes are in. DF has 7% grade 1 and 2 motility and only 5% morphology so we're waiting to see our consultant again in April, he's just had another SA done so hopefully the numbers have got better. Shes already told us its highly unlikely we can catch on our own and we're probably going to need IVF/ICSI and we're self funding eeeek! 

I'm tending to stay away from pregnant people aswell, and one born every minute is just not going to be watched in this house. Don't think i've got enough tissues in to cope with the flood lol.  

If i hear, be patient, relax, it'll happen and stop trying so hard one more time im gonna pop i swear lol.


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Weds sounds good sorry to put such a limited post, on the run today xxx


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