# Introduction and questions.



## rsmit02 (Jan 31, 2004)

Hi all,

As you will see from my signature we have had a long road and a very recent devastating miscarriage. Which kind of leads me here, my sister has offered after all we have been through to be a surrogate for us. I am amazed, humbled and plain cant believe it she has thought this out she has gone and had councelling unbeknown to us to work out her feelings before she even approached us with this offer so she could be sure.

It is a unique situation in that she will be a traditional surrogate using her own eggs but also will have to use donor sperm due to my dh diagnosis. This makes it legally harder we will have to adopt the baby to be its legal parents as neither of us will be related to the baby so cant apply for a parental order. My sister also lives in the USA and us in Scotland so that complicates things a bit to. But she proposes to use donor sperm to get pregnant then give birth and have the baby adopted to us here in Scotland it is complicated but is possible. 

I have a question though, one UK family lawyer I spoke to suggested we just put my husbands name on the birth certificate anyway to save complicating things and then we could apply for a parental order. But I do not know how that works surely they do a DNA test in a surrogacy case to determine if the father is the real father?

How do you go about applying for a parental order in a surrogacy case?

I have so many questions and so much flying around my head, we will not start this till we are 100% sure on the legal side and things have settled and we are over the m/c but it is helping me look forward and realise we may indeed one day be parents.

Any help or advice would be really appreciated.

Ruthx


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## crownmum (Jul 18, 2004)

Hi Ruth

Firstly I am very sorry to hear about your recent loss. You must be feeling devastated by your miscarriage.

We are all either intended parents and surrogate mothers on this section of the site, so cannot advise you legally, although we can offer you support and understanding.

You should seek the advice of an expert in family law before proceeding any further.

The law surrounding adoption has changed recently. Please see the link below.

The Adoption and Children Act 2002 came into effect as of 30th December 2005.

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2002/20020038.htm#aofs.

http://www.dfes.gov.uk/intercountryadoption/faq.shtml#gq2

To be eligible for a Parental Order at least one of the intended parents must be genetically related to the child. As this is not going to be the case in your situation you cannot legally apply for a Parental Order. DNA testing is usually carried out at random or where a Parental Order Reporter has suspicions that there is no genetic link.


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## angelwomb (Nov 1, 2005)

Hi Ruth,

I am truly sorry to hear your heartbreaking news - BIG hug!

It sounds like you have a lovely sister. I wish you all the best with your special journey. 
I'm sure you'll get loads of support from people on here. There is also two organisations that deal with surrogacy in the UK, they are SUK & COTS so you might be able to get some advise & support from on there too.
SUK also has get together, you do not need to be a member to go & they are a great way of meeting other IP's & SM's that have been through surrogacy, are going through it now or are hoping to in the future. You make loads of friends, get advise & loads of information from people who understand.

Hope to see you at one of the SUK GT's.

Love
Angelwomb
-x-x-x-x-x-


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Ruth, 
That sounds a bit of a complicated situation.
Sorry to hear about your miscarriage, and good luck with your plans.
EJJB
  x 
P.S. I can recommend SUK as well.


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