# the blues finding the donor share



## pattycake (May 28, 2012)

Am looking on cryos and xytex for a donor.  Have been told I need to go for -ve CMV and -rh status, and I would like open to contact and caucasian.  But it really narrows things down.  I think I have a match and then realise he is sold out!  I have been really focusing on this for the last few weeks and not getting anywhere so today I spent the whole day online-including joining another sperm bank.  But no luck. I feel really low about it    And I wish I had someone to share the load with right now.

P


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Pattycake,    You have my sympathy.  My choice was always extremely limited so it removed some of the angst involved in selecting a donor.  Are these your only criteria, or are you also filtering in terms of physical description, education and so on?  If the latter, you have something to compromise on perhaps.  Will your clinic allow you to sign a disclaimer on the -ve CMV status, allowing you to choose a +ve donor?  And is this something you would consider?  There is also the European Sperm Bank to consider.


A-Mx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

big   
Inde has some good suggestions
have you tried calling & speaking to the sperm banks or emailing them direct to ask specifically what they have which meets your criteria? I found Xytec very helpful with this approach
best of luck   
Suitcase
x


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## pattycake (May 28, 2012)

Thanks guys.  x  
So hard.  No, I def haven't bothered with hair colour, education, weight etc.  
I have tried Cryos Denmark, ESB and Cryos NY.  I have been told by my clinic to go for MOT 10 or get twice the amount for MOT 5.  There is ONE donor I found today in NY but the shipping is really making the price jump=over $2500usd for 4 straws.  I will call Xytex tomorrow.
I will be really relieved when this step is behind me.  Its just not fun at the moment.  And I realise it may not be the only time I need to order.  But just now need to move on.


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Pattycakes, what a lot of people do to reduce shipping costs is join forces with others who are importing from the same donor bank.  Your clinic may well be able to help with this as they may have other clients looking to import.  Alternatively, ask the donor bank if they have other clients importing to the UK and whether you can share a shipment.  It's definitely worth asking.  


A-Mx


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## smc81 (Oct 26, 2011)

Pattycakes - I had exactly the same problem last year. I thought it would be fairly simple but it ended up taking ages to find someone. The only advice I can offer is to keep going and ring them directly. I found xytex really helpful and friendly.

Good luck xx


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## Diesy (Jul 19, 2010)

Hi Pattycake,

It really does suck, I had similar issues when I looked for mine.  Is there any reason you've been told to go for -rh?  I'm -rh myself and my donor is just +.  

Diesy


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## sweet1 (Oct 5, 2008)

when I chose my donor I wrote a shortlist and then put one, two, three or four ticks next to each one depending on how much I liked the sound of them/how they fit my criteria! It was a good idea because once the first donor didn't work I went straight for the second of my 'four ticks' - and hey ho got my daughter! Good luck xx


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## Helena123 (Jun 11, 2011)

Hi pattycake,

I had the same problem. I was told to select 3 from the clinic's donor list but I chose just one because I was really taken with that one, but none of the others! There are so many donors on the sperm banks list, but once you select 'open' that eliminates more than 50% of them.

I'm A- and my donor is too, but that was pure chance rather than selection. It's no issue as you just have an Anti D injection once your pregnant and one after the birth. Only thing I would mention is that I had a previous termination years ago so I had a test to see if I had any antibodies floating around in my system. 

For me, height and education was important. Originally I was set on having a blonde, but all the blondes were short so I went over to the brunettes. He was from the European Sperm Bank I discovered so I got a full profile for him. 

If you are going to give DIUI a go I would recommend going to Stork Clinic - the fees on their site include all THEIR costs so no hassle shipping etc...I'm just on iPhone at the moment so struggling to respond to your PM x

Helena ...


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## ElsieMay (Mar 17, 2007)

Hi Patty

I went with Xytex.  I got A- and caucasion and the CMV status all OK, they had lots to choose from in 2007.  I wouldn't worry too much about the rhesus factor, I am rhesus A- as was the male donor - my daughter is A+ as I used an A+ egg donor.

EM


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