# Manchester Fertility Service anyone?



## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone, I'm new here, only just found this site - wish I had found it two years ago when I first started ICSI!  

We are due to start FET at Manchester Fertility Service in about two weeks.  This is our 2nd attempt at FET.  We had first cycle of ICSI and I ended up with a BFP   but at the 8 week scan there was no heartbeat so I had miscarried.  Had awful trouble afterwards (won't go into detail!) but had to have 2 D & C's so it took a long time to recover.  I then had FET and that ended up in a BFN.  

April this year we had 2nd attempt at ICSI which ended up in a BFN.  And as I said in about two weeks will be trying FET again.

I've been doing everything I can to try and relax, I've stopped drinking (seeing all my friends go out is killing me!), taking my vitamins and trying to mentally prepare myself, any other advice greatfully received!  It would also be nice to hear from others who are going to the same hospital as me.  We have to go privately to MFS as we live in North Wales and they didn't offer IVF on the NHS when we were starting out.  They have just started offering couples 1 go on the NHS but seeing as we have had 2 attempts privately then we don't qualify, typical!

Good luck to you all
Rhianna xxxx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Rhianna 

Just wanted to say hi to a fellow MFS patient.  Thankfully i live local to the the clinic so dont have a massive drive - how long does it take you to get there  Sorry to hear about your cycles - good luck with your FET.  I really like MFS, especially the new  building!!!  We had a previous bad experience at CARE in Manchester, but have found MFS to be nothing but fantastic.  My favourite nurse is Lorraine - she taught me how to inject myself and also was the nurse that told me i was pg with my DD!!

Anyway just wanted to wish you luck and    i am doing a FET at the moment so will probably see you in there!!

Amanda x


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## SusieQ (Apr 20, 2004)

hi rhianna

just wanted to say hello and let you know that me and dh went to mfs.

i had one full ivf cycle and two FET's (natural both times) and we now have a gorgeous 4 month old baby girl called katie.

i found MFS to be brilliant.  you can go and give bloods very early in the morning and i found the nurses to be straight talking and very supportive.

good luck with your treatment

suexx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi Amanda and Sue, thank you both for replying.  It takes me a good hour and 40 minutes to get there depending on the traffic.  For bloods I usually try and get there for 7.30 because the roads are so quiet, I then have to travel all the way back and I just about make it into work for 9.30!  It can get quite tiring by the end of the treatment.  But I am the same as you - think MFS is brill.  

Lorraine and Samantha are my favourites!  But they are all nice.  The new building is great but parking is a bit of a squeeze but I usually park in nearby Asda, the walk is quite refreshing after such a long drive.  

I will be starting my FET in a natural cycle in about 2 weeks time, so x ing everything!  Did you conceive with one of your FET's Sue, your baby is absoloutely georgous and gives me a bit more hope of FET working.  Will let you know how I get on.....

rhianna xx


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## SusieQ (Apr 20, 2004)

hi rhianna

yes we got pregnant with our second FET treatment.

i found FET much less physically demanding than full ivf.  i know how hard it is doing that long trip in the morning.  mine wasnt as bad as yours.  i travelled from chorley to manchester and then back to preston for work.  i also didnt tell anyone at work what i was doing so it was hard going.

try and stay positive.  i know its hard but my chances of getting pregnant were slim and my dreams came true.  yours will too.


good luck

suexx


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Rhianna,

I'm at MFS and live in North Wales too!  I have just started my blood tests for our first FET hopefully sometime this week.  We had our first cycle of IVF at MFS a couple of months ago.  We too paid for ours, we didn't want to wait any longer!  It went really well, we got 28 eggs, 7 fertilised, one didn't divide, 4 were frozen, and two put back in.  We got a postive pg result, but my HCG levels stayed level.  They classed it as a biochemical pregnancy.  So now we are having our first FET as part of my natural cycle.  I had my first LH blood test a couple of days ago, and am hoping to have the transfer around the end of this week.

It's a bit of a drive into Manchester and back everyday. I'm actually really lucky as I work in a lab, and they let me do my blood tests at work so I don't have to drive in everyday - it's a massive help!

It's always nice to find others in the same boat, and even better, at the same clinic!  Where abouts do you live?  We are in Wrexham.

Love Shaz xx


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hello Rhianna at everyone else on this thread

I'm at MFS and live NEAR to North Wales, just south of Chester, so there's another one clogging up the motorway at that ridiculous time of the morning.

We had IVF last Feb and got a BFP - result Rhian, our beautiful baby daughter born last Nov (in Wrexham Maelor hospital!)

We have 7 embies in store and are thinking of starting our first go at FET on my next cycle which is due in approx 1-2 weeks.  So looks like our paths will cross.  We should perhaps wear name badges so we know who's who! 

We had the IVF treatment in the old buidling in Whalley Range and have only been to the new place once (for our review meeting two months ago).  So it all seems like going to a new place which makes me nervous.  Also, last time my dh came with me to every appt but with a feisty toddler in the family now I am planning to go on my own while dh looks after Rhian  

Also, when we had our review meeting I was so pleased that they gave us the go ahead to try FET that I failed to ask about the actual process of FET (we're having natural FET) and so don't have a clue as to what happens once I ring up on day one.  Can anyone help fill in the details there??  Will I have to go in for bloods often?  how do they know when I'm ovulating?

Anyway, it's nice to know that there's a little MFS support group   and it makes me feel a little less anxious about the whole thing.

Good luck and hopefully I'll see some of you there soon.

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

It is so nice to hear from others who go to the same place, going through the same things etc.  And it is really helping me seeing your babies too, it gives me so much more hope.  I have coped really well up until now and for some reason I am having a really difficult time at the moment, I think it might be because two of my friends have just had babies so I am surrounded by babies and it just makes me want to be a mum even more.  Don't get me wrong I am really happy for them but at the same time it is making the fact that I haven't had one yet all the more difficult.  I just can't wait to start our FET now, I am v impatient and we are having a natural cycle so no exact date in mind when we will start it just depends on my period!!

I live in Ruthin so not far from Wrexham Shaz!  How lucky doing your bloods at work!  Last time I telephoned my local community hospital and they actually did some for me but I was black and blue, don't think they were used to doing bloods on someone every day for about 7 days!  I think I will phone them again though because it saved me travelling every day.  Good luck for the end of the week, let us know how you are doing.  

Tracy I am trying to remember re bloods and how often etc because it was August last year when we had out last FET.  I think I went on day two for a blood test and then they gave me a date to start my daily blood tests, it depends on your cycle.  Say that you have a 28 day cycle then you usually ovulate on day 14 so they would probably ask you to start going on day 7 and then daily until they see in your bloods that you are about to ovulate.  They then give you a day to go back for the transfer.  I think I have got that right but anyone else who has a better memory than me - feel free to correct me!

I am the same - I have only been to Whalley Range BUPA for my egg collections and embryo transfer so I am not sure what to expect in the new building either!  I have been there for my bloods and scans last ICSI but they were still doing op's in the Whalley Range site.

I have decided not to tell work this time (I told everyone last time because the previous times I was getting hassle from colleagues because I was late going in in the morning even though my Manager had okay'd it for me!), but this time I am going to try and keep it to myself.  It is not too bad going doing FET in a natural cycle because there are no hormone drugs involved so hopefully no one will be none the wiser!

I'll let you know when I start going for those bloods, think of me when I am getting up at 5.30am!!!!

Rhianna


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Tracey - natural FET will go a little something like this.  Ring up MFS on day one of your cycle to request treatment.  You then have to wait a couple of days for the nurses to call you back with the treatment plan.  They will tell you when to come in for your first bloods depending on how long your cycle is.  You DON'T need day two bloods.  My cycle is about 30 days, so I started going in last week on day 9.  You then have to have bloods everyday until you ovulate.  They measure your LH, which stays usually the same ish each day until you get the hormone surge just before ovulation.  Once you get the surge, you go in three days later to have the embies put back in, but they don't thaw them until the day before you go in.  I hope this helps!!!    Congrats on your beautiful little girl!

Rhianna - those days are hard.  I had two really good friends who were going through the same infertility struggles as me, and in the last few weeks both of them have gotten pregnant.  I'm over the moon for them, but feel so alone now and like my support network has completely gone.  That's why these sites are so important and helpful.  I work in the Pathlab at the Maelor - why don't you head to Wrexham for your bloods?  It's still closer than Manchester!  MFS will let you do that, and I just phone my results through every morning.  It saves us more ££ on petrol not having to drive in everyday, and lord knows all those ££ count at the moment!

It's really nice to have found this site and met you girls.  I can't believe that this time in a week hopefully we'll have two embies on board  

Love Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Thanks Shaz for the info re procedure for FET, I had forgotten exact procedure!  Thanks too for the words of support re friends getting pregnant.  It is a real mish mash of emotions isn't it, you are really really happy for them but you just feel even sadder inside yourself and somehow feel that you can't show that because people will think you are jealous and horrible!  X Fingers you are next.  It is really exciting isn't it having them put back in, when you see them on screen and when you walk out of there you feel really really positive.  It is the 2ww that is the killer, waiting for symptoms, wondering what the outcome will be etc.  Will you take some time off work after having them put back in?  Last time I didn't, I went back to work day after.  My mum says this time that I am to stay at home and put my feet up for a few days!  I'm sure it won't make much difference but I quite fancy that actually!!

I have phoned my local community hospital and MFS today and I think that my local hospital will be doing my bloods but I will have to take them home with me and keep them in the fridge, so I can probably go alternate days or even skip a couple of days at the beginning so that will save travelling and yes as you say ££.  You definately work in the right place for times like this!

Keep us updated and good luck for the end of the week!    
Rhianna xx


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi
Shaz - thanks for the info about treatment cycles, it helps me get my mind in order if I have an idea of how things are going to be.  Also, I'd be really interested in getting my bloods done in the Maelor - I will ring MFS and ask but is there anyone I should ask at the hospital?

Rhianna - it's a difficult time when all around are getting pregnant and you aren't.  I found that in the 5years we were trying the friends and family who did become pregnant were worried about telling us.  I don't know what they expected us to do or say......we had the explain to them that we didn't resent their pregnancies but that we just experienced whistful feelings for our own......

Oops, DH wants the computer - I'd better let him, cos I've already been on for hours.
Will catch you all later.

tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone

How is it going Shaz?  Have you had embies put back in yet or do you know when?  You will have to let us know what it is like in the new site compared to Whalley Range.

Tracy thanks for your kind words, I'm feeling a lot better today - I've been to see my two friends and their new born babies and feel like a weight has been lifted.  I was dreading going but also was dying to see them, wierd!  

I've started hypnotherapy last night, I will try anything once!  It was a bit surreal at first and then I ended up sleeping.  I have to listen to this cd every night now until embryos are put back in and then have to listen to another cd afterwards during the 2ww.  Who knows if it will make any difference but I am sure it won't do me any harm.  If nothing else it will hopefully help me relax.

Keep in touch xx


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi 
Rhianna - Hypnotherapy sounds interesting. Is the aim to help you relax or for positive thinking towards a BFP or both?
Also, I don't know about you but everyone around me seems to be supremely fertile.  My best mate was planning to get pregnant in June, she came off the pill in May and blow me she got pregnant in June!  
I have another friend who is "planning" to get pregnant in October this year and it makes me smile cos we "planned" to get pregnant 5 years before it happened.....

Shaz - good luck     fingers crossed for you

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya Tracy, yes the aim is to help me relax and prepared my body for pregnancy.  The cd that I have to listen to after having the embryos put back in is meant to make my body accept the frozen embies.  Who knows if it will work but if it is just a case of listening to a cd every day then I have nothing to lose.  

I am a great believer in hypnotherapy though because my sister has stopped smoking after two hypnotherapy sessions and I also had a bad time few years ago when I was suffering with really bad panic attacks.  It was when we were just starting out with our first treatment of ICSI, I think it was just so overwhelming the whole thing that my body just couldn't cope.  I started hypnotherapy for the panic attacks and they immediately got better and now I hardly ever have them.  It is worth a try.

And yes I know where you are coming from with the supremely fertile thing!  Everyone and I mean everyone is just falling pregnant just like that or they have 'accidents'.  What I would do for an 'accident', they have no idea!  And it sounds like I am really resentful but I am not, I am really glad that they don't have to go through what we are going through because it is truly horrid.  

Don't know if you felt the same but it is the not knowing that gets me.  If someone told me right in two years you will definiately be pregnant then fine I would have no problem waiting, but it just frightens me how I will cope if it will never happen.  At least I know that ICSI can work for us it was just bad luck that I had a miscarriage I suppose.  Anyway positive thinking that this FET will be good, for both of us.

xxxing everything for you too Shaz.  
Rhianna


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls 

Well, I'm STILL waiting - I thought my LH surge was going to be today, but alas, it's not to be! It had gone up slightly this morning, and Lorraine thinks it's probably on it's way up. Fingers crossed when I have my blood test in a few hours it will have sky rocketed! I'm at work on nights, so have nothing to do but think about my little embies getting put back in next week! In case you are interested, this is what my LH levels have done since I started a week ago:

Day 9: 8.9
Day 10: 10.9
Day 11: 9.1
Day 12: 9.2
Day 13: 6.7
Day 14: 7.7
Day 15: 12

So hopefully they'll get put back in on Tuesday, that is assuming we get two out of our 4 snowbabies that divide properly.

Tracy - you may have to go see your GP to sort out the blood tests, you can't go directly to the hospital. If you get some forms, then I can't see why you can't have it done here?

Rhianna - putting your feet up is a great idea! I like the sound of hypnotherapy. For our first cycle of IVF I did acupuncture, which was OK. It was bloody expensive! It all starts to add up after a while, and I needed a break from it all after our last go of IVF. I did everything right last time and still didn't get the pregnancy, so I figure this time I'll let up on myself a bit and spend my time resting instead of running around to different appointments.

I know what you guys mean about the fertile thing. The thing that frightens me more than anything is what if it never happens? I'm agree with you Rhianna, if someone said to me 'you'll get pregnant in 2 - 3 years time', then I wouldn't worry and I'd just go with the flow. But we are into our third year now of TTC and it's a roller coaster that you can't get off. There's no such thing as relaxing and taking a break from it all, it's constantly at the back of your mind. I do pregnancy tests at work everyday, and it really makes me wonder if I should have started TTC at least 10 years ago - it seems that every single teenager where I live is pregnant! If only it were that easy..........

I'll let you guys know later about today's blood results. Please let there be a surge..... 

Love Shaz xx[br]: 19/08/06, 02:38OK, so my bloods from yesterday were, wait for it.................89.8!!!! Guess that was a surge then!

Now all we need is for our little frosties to survive the thaw and grow like crazy!  

Roll on Tuesday.......reporting to Bridgewater with dressing gown, slippers and a full bladder!

Love Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Brilliant Shaz!  You'll have to tell us what Bridgewater is like.  I hate the full bladder bit, I have got to have the weakest bladder in the whole world and every time I always drink too much water and haven't really taken in what goes on in the theatre because I am concentrating so much on not letting go!!  Last time though I had it down to a t and only drank half a small bottle of water and I was fine so I saw and took in everything that was going on - so much more enjoyable!

Good luck for Tuesday
Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Good luck for Tuesday Shaz.  
    
That's the day my AF is due so lets keep fingers crossed for positive day all round 
     
Tracy xx


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Rhianna,

I think the worst part of the whole thing is the full bladder part! Last time I started drinking water halfway to Manchester - bad idea, by time I got there I was bursting, and actually had to sneak to the toilet hoping no one would see me. I still had a full bladder when I went into theatre as it must have filled up again straight away! You are right, you can't really enjoy looking at your little embies because you are so focused on not going to the toilet. I'm going to take your advice and go easy this time with half a bottle of water  Thanks!

Tracey, I hope AF rolls around for you this week 

Love Shaz xx[br]: 20/08/06, 21:08Just got back from Manchester, and two snowbabies are now on board. I was so nervous this morning waiting for the phone call to find out if they had survived the night. I had totally prepared myself that they hadn't. Needless to say after I got off the phone I was shaking! The Bridgewater is really nice - there is parking, so don't go to Asda! The only bummer was that they were running late, which is normally no problem, but is hell when you've got a full bladder! We had 2 pronucleate embies put back in, which leaves us two left in the freezer - one pronucleate and one early cleavage. Now begins the worst part, the 2 ww..................

Love Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Fab Shaz, I really hope the 2 ww is not too bad (even though I know exactly what it is like!).  Take it easy don't do too much.  When I was in the room waiting for the embryos to be put back in once they were 40 mins late, I had to go to the toilet 3 times!  And in the end this nurse told me off and I was in a right state because I was bursting still! There is always drama when I am around!!  Nothing is ever straight forward! 

Tracey, my AF is due this weekend, hope yours came today.  Mine will probably be late, it always is when everyone is waiting for it, it never is usually!  Hope you don't find it too bad going on your own as DH is looking after Rhian, the bloods are okay on your own arn't they your'e just in and out.  I am ready for it now, I hope it works for all three of us this time.  

Take care
Rhianna x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Shaz

I will hopefully be joining you on the 2ww next week when my remaining snowbabies are defrosted and fingers crossed they make it to transfer.  Where do you park at the bridgewater - i had to pop into the clinic yesterday for more buserlin needles and parked at the front and even at 2pm parking was still bad.  Thats fab that you still have embies in the freezer - a sibling for this snowbaby PMA PMA!!! 

Amanda


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Good news Shaz!
Fingers crossed for your 2ww - relax (if you can!) and think positive thoughts. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you too  

Amanda - fingers crossed for you too   Sending positive thoughts to you little snowbabies.

Rhianna - AF not arrived yet even though I've felt pre-menstrual (or am I just in a bad mood? )
Wish it would hurry up and arrive.......as you say it's always the same when you want it to start it doesn't and when you really hope it doesn't arrive for another 9-10 months it flipping well arrives......
I'm ready to get started too. Fingers crossed for us all.

Can I ask a personal question of those of you ladies who have been through FET before? How does it feel if the snowbabies don't survive. I'm not sure how to try and prepare myself for the eventuality that they don't survive the thaw or don't survive the implantation. In my mind right now those little frosties look just like my daughter and I think that the pain of losing any of them might be felt more keenly than I had first imagined before we started on the FET process or before I'd had Rhian and started to imagine what those 'twins' of hers would look like.....
Does that sound silly? 

Tracy xx

[br]: 23/08/06, 20:40Hi
AF arrived this afternoon so tomorrow is day 1. I have to call tomorrow morning to confirm that AF is still here and then they will call me back with a treatment plan.
Excited and nervous now.
Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone,  hope you are resting Shaz!

My AF still not here, but I am in a foul mood so must be on it's way!!  No only joking, I do have all the symptoms so it should be here soon.  

Amanda, if you find out re the parking at Bridgewater please let me know, x fingers for you too.

Tracy, to answer your question re if they don't survive.  To be honest I think everyone is different in how they think and relate to their snowbabies.  Personally I have never allowed myself to think of them as actual "babies".  I know that sounds stupid because in effect that is exactly what they could be if they developed etc but that is how I have had to be to be able to cope with them not developing/defrosting ok.  Another tactic that seemed to give me a little comfort was to think that if my little snowbabies didn't survive then there was something a little wrong with them so I would rather that they didn't survive in the first instance rather than develop into a pregnancy and then have to go through losing them at a later stage.  Don't know if this is any comfort or answers your question but that is what I do!

It will be different for you I would have thought because as you say it has worked for you once and you associate them with brothers or sisters for Rhian.  When my last FET and then subsequently my second ICSI didn't work out I was very dissapppointed and obviously upset but you just have to carry on and have to get on with it.  It was the same when my first ICSI ended up in a miscarriage I don't know how I coped but I just did.  

Anyway positive thinking that we won't have to think of anything like that, that they will survive and give us a BFP    .  Did you manage to sort out going to the Maelor or will you be going to Manchester for your bloods?  I am trying to decide what to do with work this time, my annual leave is running out fast and I've already had two bouts of special leave so don't want to push my luck!

Wish my Af would hurry up, it seems that I will be the last one out of us all to go through FET!  Got a day off work today so back to the cleaning.....

Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Thanks Rhianna.  I realise now that am so very lucky in that I haven't had to cope with a BFN or pregnancy loss since starting down the IVF route.  And I really need to think positive but on the other hand I am trying to brace myself for disappointment cos I got lucky before and it worked first time and I shouldn't come to expect it.
Anyway, positive thoughts for all from this point on    

I have had the call from the clinic and I have to go for my first bloods on Fri 1st Sept.  I haven't sorted out going to the Maelor because I'd have to go through my GP and when I was pregnant everything became complicated because I live in Chester but wanted to have the baby in Wrexham.  It seems like that's a unusual choice to make and there are no procedures in place to make it easy to do (especially when it came to me needing a blood sample of all things!).

So I'm making that journey along the M56 everyday for a week or so (?) maybe see some of you there.

Hope your AF arrives soon Rhianna then we can cycle together!

Good luck with your transfer next week Amanda.

And, Shaz, I hope things are going ok with you during your 2ww.

   

Tracy xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi ladies

Going a bit     here.  Its my scan tomorrow to check that my lining is just right and i am convinced that it wont be right.  Forgot how horrible this stage is - where things just go into freefall.  My scan is at 10am tomorrow will let you know how i get on.

Amanda


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

It's here!!!  My AF I am talking about!  Feeling sorry for myself a bit because I suffer from terrible AF pains and I usually take nurofen and that sorts me out but apparently it isn't advisable if having fertility treatment so I have taken paracetamol (does nothing) so might just have to go to bed in a bit with a hot water bottle!  Will phone MFS tomorrow and that will be day 1.  So I am only a day or so behind you Tracy.  

I am trying to decide what to do re bloods.  I have phoned my local community hospital and asked if I could have some bloods done there so that would save me going to MFS every day and then to work (it is hard going!), but the local hospital just have no idea re fertility treatment and not used to having to take blood from someone every single day.  I only have one vein in one arm, that is it.  MFS struggle a bit by the end becuase it gets v v sore and bruised.  Last time my local hospital REALLY struggled and nearly sent me away one morning without doing it until I demanded that I HAD to have it done as it was vitally important, that is what I mean about them not understanding.  It was a bit stressful at times, so what do I do, take a chance and have a bit of stress with local hospital or just sod it and do the journey everyday to MFS...... decisions decisions!

Amanda, why are you having a scan?  Are you doing medicated FET?  Don't worry I'm sure you'll be fine.  I know exactly how you feel though.  When I am having full treatment I always dread the scans because I am convinced they are going to see something not quite right and tell me I can't carry on, it's never happened though so try and be positive!

Shaz, how are you doing?  Hope you are feeling okay and trying to keep positive, I know how hard it is though you never forget, every twinge, every pain every everything you just analyse it and keep wondering am I or am I not.  You'll soon know so hang on in there.    

Right, bed now I think with hot water bottle...

Rhianna x x x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Sorry I've been MIA for a few days - we went camping over the long weekend, and we are about to move house in 3 days.  I'm a kiwi from New Zealand and DH and I are moving back in a few weeks.  We don't do things by halves around here!!! 

Rhianna - sorry about your nasty AF - I can totally sympathise!  A hot water bottle usually does the trick when medication can't, so hope you are feeling better.  On a better note, you are starting treatment!  What a hassle trying to get your bloods done - it might be simpler going to Manchester if you can cope with it everyday.  Local community hospitals tend to struggle a bit with things like this.  The last thing you need is them not being able to do your bloods!

Where is everyone else at treatment wise?  Tracey and Amanda, how are you guys?

I'm not really sure how I'm feeling at the moment.  Put it this way, I don't feel any different to any other month!  I cant' believe that MFS make us wait so long till the 'official test date' - 17 bloody days!  Do you guys wait that long, or do you cheat too?  I'm not sure when I'm going to test - I heard a rumor that FET's take longer to get a BFP, anyone else heard this?

Oh well, one week down, one to go............  

Love Shaz xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi all

Spoke to MFS today and booked in for tomorrow at 12:30 tomorrow so fingers crossed     hoping that snow babies make it through the night out of the freezer - they will call tomorrow to tell me if i have we will be having a transfer. 

Good to hear from you again Shaz,  how is the 2ww treating  you?  17 days is huge!!  on my first cycle i did cheat and tested on 16 days post transfer and last cycle did cheat at 10 days and tested and getting the BFN was horrid.  I also heard that it takes a bit longer with a FET - sending you    vibes and lots of glue

talk to everyone soon

amanda


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone

Amanda good luck, hope everything went okay for you today xing everything.  

MFS phoned me today and I am starting bloods on Monday.  I am having v bad week in work and next week looks worse so I am not looking forward to those early mornings!  But I am v excited too (about FET not work obviously).  I am fed up of waiting now I just want to get started.

Shaz, so you are going back to live to New Z for good?  You'll have to keep in touch!  

I didn't cheat re preg test on first attempt, second FET I did and got a BFN, second ICSI attempt my AF came so I so knew that I wasn't anyway and this time oh god knows!  I think you just have to do what you feel is the right thing to do.  In some ways I like waiting as long as possible because that is the nearest thing I have to being pregnant - the possibility of being, so the longer that possibility lasts the nicer the feeling but on the other hand it is absoloute agony not knowing one way or another!  At least you will all know before me!

Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi

I went for my first blood test today and parking was ok (I had to park on the block paved pavement bit but I squeezed in).  I was suprised at how quiet it was.  When I went for IVF at the old building there were always about 30 odd women waiting for bloods and they were queuing in the corridors.  Today there was a max of 15 and everyone got a seat!

Amanda - hope everything went ok and those snow babies are settling down inside you now.  

Shaz - Hope things are still ok with you.  You certainly aren't doing things by halves are you - of all the stress factors you could have in your life right now I think you have most of them!  
I didn't cheat with the IVF treatment but don't think I'll be able to wait with this one.  Do we have to do a home pregnancy test then rather than go in for a blood test?  For the IVF I had to go in for a blood test and then had to phone that afternoon for the result.  I realise that I'm starting this treatment and don't really know what's going on..... 

Rhianna - sorry that work is bad at the moment.  You could do with an easy time of it right now.  Will things have eased up by the time of the transfer and 2ww?  Maybe I'll see you there in Monday.  

Have a good weekend everyone and think of me trundling up the motorway bright and early on Saturday and Sunday morning.

Tracy x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Amanda - how did ET go for you?  I hope everything went OK.

Tracey - can't believe it's all starting for you!  I hope you get your LH surge soon.

Rhianna - when do you start having your bloods done?

Well girls, I started spotting yesterday, and that's what usually happens in the lead up to AF.  I know that this hasn't worked for us this month, I can't explain it, but I just do!  I'm feeling absolutely gutted, but we are having another go straight away with our last two frosties.  That's one of the good things about natural FET!!  We really didn't want to move to NZ and leave our frosties behind, so hopefully it's third time lucky for us!

Love Shaz xx


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi Shaz
Just a quick message to send a hug.  I hope you are feeling ok even though I know you must be gutted. 
Tracy x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone, Shaz I am gutted for you.  I just feel so much for you because I know exactly how you feel at the moment    I really really hope it is 3rd time lucky for you.  There is really nothing anyone can say to make you feel better but just keep positive, it will work in the end for you.  It is just a matter of what you have to go through to get there.  Have you tested or are you just going with your gut feeling and waiting for AF to arrive?

Amanda - hope you are resting, feet up and keeping positive. xing everything for you    How are you feeling?

I'm starting bloods on Monday.  Tracy, might see you there on Monday, I'll have to wear a red rose or something!!  I have a horrid week ahead of me!  I will have to get up at 5.30am every morning and then to Manchester and back to work by 9.30am.  I have then booked the following monday and tuesday off as leave and then I will take sick leave if I need to.  I have loads of deadlines to meet in work by Friday next week and I know I will be tired and ratty (I always am if I don't get my 8hours sleep!!), BUT I am really glad that I am finally starting treatment.  My boss has been off all last week and so I will have to tell her on Monday that I will be late in every day, I am sure she will be fine becuase she has been really good to me in the past but I just feel like a pain in the a** , this is the third time now!  

My DH has just been laughing at me becuase this morning I have bought this little flask and a plastic bowl with a lid thing and I am going to take some tea and cereal with me in the morning so that I can have a little snack on the way from Manchester to work!  I know there is a drinks machine there but I won't have time to waste as it is a tight push to get back to work for 9.30 as it is.  I will have to make sure I am there for 7.30 so that I can hopefully get bloods done as soon as!  I've also got all my work outfits ready for the whole week so that I don't waste time in the morning deciding what to wear - I am so organised it is a bit scary at times!!

Going to give the house a quick clean now and warn DH that he has to keep it that way for the next few weeks.. oh and to top it all my dishwasher has packed in so will have to try and find someone to fix that too!

Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi all

Went for bloods again today and Sharon (who took my bloods today) was REALLY helpful.  I admitted to her that I didn't really have a clue what was going to happen with the treatment and she took the time to explain it all to me.  I feel so much better.    What an angel.

Not only that but she has given me a couple of needles and tubes so that I can ask the nurse at my GP's surgery to do bloods on Tuesday and Wednesday next week so that I don't have to make the journey in too many times - which is very handy cos I was having to rely on my MIL to come over at 6am to babysit for me on those days.  I have to keep the blood in the fridge and take it on on Thursday.  (That's assuming I don't surge before Tuesday I suppose).  

How are you doing Shaz?  When we were talking about the specifics of my treatment today, Sharon at MFS mentioned that a lady had rung today (or was it yesterday?) to say she didn't think that the FET had worked and I put two and two together and wondered if it was you.  Could have been anyone I guess but my stomach lurched a bit when she said it. 

How are you feeling Amanda?  

Maybe see you there on Monday then Rhianna, I guess you'll be the one at the front of the queue. Btw try and get there early cos when i went on Friday i got there at 7.30 exactly and there were already 7 people in front of me.  They don't open the doors until 7.30 so you have to huddle outside but if you're in a rush it might be a good idea.

Hugs to everyone.
Tracy xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi all

So sorry Shaz to hear your news,  sending you hugs , wish it could have been better for you.

Thanks for the messages Tracey and Rhianna, i'm not doing too good.   
Dont feel anything, not even a twinge and my faux pg symptoms from the lovely cycloges have gone!!  Just feel normal, like my last BFN FET.  Looking into doing another fresh cycle soon.

Really feel for you having to travel so much during your treatment when i get to wander in.  BTW the Bridgewater is really nice, but when your hubby comes in for hand holding duty he now has to wear shoe covers and a white lab/butcher coat.  i nearly pmsl at the sight of DH.

Really hating the 2ww, hope everything is going ok for everyone and good luck with the rest of your bloods - dust to you all 

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Amanda please don't give up yet.  Not sure if this is of any help but when I got my BFP the first time I did ICSI I had no symptoms until about two days before testing.  When I got my BFN I got loads of twinges and some symptoms and then my AF came.  Sending you loads of  .  The whole 2ww thing is horrid.

Tracy - Sharon is lovely at MFS, she looked after me on our first attempt.  After my Egg Rec I really wasn't well and thought I had OHSS (I am such a hypochondriac!), I was in a right state and telephoned her and she was really really nice to me.  She put my mind at ease straight away, and I seem to recover pretty quickly after that!  Thanks for the info re the queue, I guess I will just have to be late for work if it is busy there, I have worked extra hours last week so I should be okay.  I haven't told anyone at work what I am doing though so if I stroll in at 10am every day then I guess I won't be v popular.  Whatever!

Rhianna x x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Thanks for all your messages of support  

I've just done a pg test, and it's an official BFN - it feels like AF is probably going to come tonight some time.  It doesn't help that I'm on nights this weekend - it's very easy to feel sorry for yourself at 4am in the morning!  Nothing ever quite prepares you for a negative result, and nothing anyone says can make you feel better (for a couple of days anyway).  I really don't know quite how I'm feeling, except I think I'm glad I'm at work on my own, and I can have a good cry without anybody else seeing!  You really ride the roller coaster every time - there were days that I was 100% sure that it had worked, and other days where it was the opposite.  I'll just have a pity party for a couple of days, then pick myself up again for another go.  Do you guys ever wonder where you will draw the line?  Sometimes I think I can't keep doing this, and then the next day I'm rearing to get going again.  It's exhausting!  

Anyway, guess we'll be ringing up this week to request our last go of FET.  I'm starting to think about what we'll do if that doesn't work.  We'll be in NZ by then, so we may just have some time out for a few months.  I've worked shift work for the last 6 years, so it will be nice to let my body get back to normal and rest for a while.  Maybe when I'm not so constantly tired things will become clearer.

Amanda - I hope you are hanging in there.  The 2ww is the pits!  Don't worry about not feeling any symptoms.  When I got pregnant on my own I didn't feel any different to normal!  Hmm, those shoes and butchers coats were REALLY attractive    They were way too big for DH, but made me smile!

Rhianna and Tracey - I've got everything crossed for you girls.  Guess we've got a busy couple of weeks coming up    You'll be glad to give your arms a rest from all the bloods by the time the embies go back in!!

Take care,
Love Shaz xx


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi all

Shaz - so sorry to hear about the BFN.  Sending hugs.  I hope work was ok and not too lonley on that night shift on your own.  At least I hope you were able to have a good cry and let out all that tension.

Amanda - are things ok?  This 2ww is a crazy time and I hope it's not messing with your mind too much.  

Rhianna - did you manage to get to work on time??  I was thinking of you as I was driving along the M56 and I was looking out for someone eating a bowl of cornflakes as they were driving 

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.  Oh Shaz I know exactly how you feel.  Not that that makes it any better for you but I am really feeling for you.  It's good to cry and like you say you just have to pick yourself up and carry on.  Maybe next time...   I often feel like you, where do you draw the line, how many times do you put yourself through the rollercoaster. At the moment I can't even think of giving up and that thought really frightens me so I try and not think about it.  Reality is though that I might have to one day.  Life is s*** sometimes.  Take your time to get over it x

Amanda hoping you are feeling a bit better today.    How are you feeling?

Well I made it this morning, just!  I got up at 5.30am left the house at 6am (flask and bowl of cereal in tow!).  Got to Bridgewater at 7am, there was no traffic whatsoever, can't believe it I could have had an extra half hour in bed!!  The funny thing was, I wasn't the first one there!  Had bloods done pretty quickly and got to work at 9.20am.  The flask thing was a v good idea as I have a cup holder in my car so I could just drink a bit when I was at traffic lights etc, the cereal (dry without milk obviously!) was a bad idea!  There are bits of museli all over my car, DH has had to give it a good brush tonight!  I was sat in the waiting room Tracy and thought how wierd you could be just next to me and we wouldn't know would we.  Were you there this morning first thing  Tomorrow and Wed I am going to the local hospital for 8am for them to do my bloods then back to Manchester on Thursday.  

Told my boss today, wasn't overly impressed but my sister has just lectured me on how I have got to stay focused on myself and that work is just work it's not important.  She is right.  So when I have these embies back in I am going to relax for a whole week and forget about work.  

Take care
Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi 

Rhianna - 
Yes, I was there first thing - I arrived in the car park at about 7.20 helped of the lack of traffic same as you.  So we were probably sitting next to each other - I was number 5 in the queue cos I wasn't in a rush so I hung back in my car for a short while to make sure that anyone who had gotten there early, cos they were in a rush to get to work, could get seen first.  I would have felt really guilty if I had gone before you!!

What I did notice about the traffic was that on the way back home the motorway heading towards Manchester was awful so maybe it's a case of get there too early or risk getting stuck in traffic....?  I'm back in on Thursday too and will probably aim to be there early again (I don't mind sitting in my car waiting but I hate sitting in traffic).

Shaz and Amanda - hope you are both ok today. 

Tracy xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hey ladies

Thanks for thinking about me.  The 2ww seems to be flashing by, i am still hanging in there but not feeling terribly optimistic, i just remember feel so crampy during the 2ww that resulted in my DD.  But as DH pointed out i was still recovering from a EC so that could have been responsible - he is always annoyingly blindly optimistic.

Hope you are ok Shaz and i have my fingers crossed for your next FET treatment.

Tracey and Rhianna - i hope you get your surge soon   .  

Talk soon

Amanda


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone, just a quick one as I want to watch Holby City!  God it was so much better this morning going to my local hospital.  Did you manage to do the same Tracy?  I was there at 8am and in work for 8.45am, a lot less stressful and the lovely nurse told me that even though they don't open until 8am she gets to work for 7.30am and I was welcome to go then if I wanted to.    I will be there tomorrow again and then back to Manchester on Thursday.  I noticed that traffic too Tracy!  I think I will do the same again, like you said I would rather sit in car park than in traffic jam.  In case you are there early again too I am in a black Seat Leon with steamy windows from my flask of coffee!!  

Amanda and Shaz, I am still thinking about you too, hope you are both okay.

Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi

I got my surge today!!! Embryo transfer is on Monday   
Fingers crossed that my little frosties are fighters and survive the thaw. 

Any news for you Rhianna?  
BTW nice to meet you this morning.  APOLOGIES if I reeked of curry - I had an Indian takeaway last night (little treat  ) and I've felt the spices ouzing out of my pores all day  

You ok Amanda?  I was thinking back to my BFP with DD and remembered that I didn't have a single sympton at all during my 2ww.  I was convinced that it hadn't worked.  So fingers crossed for you.   

Shaz - how are you feeling now?  Have you started the ball rolling with your next cycle of FET yet?


Tracy xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Well done on your surge Tracey    - Have my fingers crossed that your frosties on monday    - Hope your surge comes soon Rhianna - hate daily blood monitoring.

On the 2ww front - Yesterday had hot flushes all day and felt so tired - even sneaked a cheeky afternoon nap with DD  .  Found myself thinking 'this is it'!!  But then by evening i felt so cold and now feel just normal.  Feel like such a weiner for getting myself worked up over nothing.  I should know by now that temps have to remain high.

Sorry to be a downer, I am normally a shiny happy person!  

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.

Amanda, the 2ww can transform you from a happy go lucky 'normal' person to a paranoid wreck so don't feel bad about being down!  You analyse everything and have moments when you think yes it has worked and then something else happens and then it's a no it hasn't!  IT's horrid.  You'll soon know and x everything it's good news.

Tracy - it was lovely to meet you too!  You didn't stink of anything!  They had trouble getting blood out of me this morning, had to try a pump thing which wasn't that pleasant!  They got some in the end.  No surge though.  Local hospital tomorrow and then back to manchester over the weekend.  Excited for you for Monday.  

Shaz hope you are doing okay.

I'm tired of all this blood taking now!  My sister has been ill this week too, she was rushed into hospital on Sunday (she had a middle ear infection) but she is home now so that has been v stressful too!  I am so looking forward to next week - no work and after ET I am doing nothing!

Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi Michelle

Yes, things have changed at MFS a bit.  Bloods now start at 7.30am and the doors aren't opened until then, unlike at the old building where the nurses would let you in when they arrived.

With my natural FET I have had no drugs at all and aren't expecting any suppositories after the transfer.  Reading other threads, though, I think every clinic has a different policy on this (and for all I know different women in MFS may have different versions of natural FET?).  

I had a look on the MFS website for success rates and they only go up to 2002   but then it was in the region of 19% for clinical pregnancies from FET but there was no distinction made between medicated and natural   

Rhianna - good luck for surge news over the weekend    I don't like to sound of the pump used to get your blood out   That must have been a shocker!

Amanda - well if you can't be a downer on this message board where can you be.  You just go with it honey - let it all out and we won't hold it against you or remind you of it during arguments  

Tracy xx


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Sorry I've been MIA this week - we've moved out of our house, and are staying with my in-laws.  It's taken all week to try and get an internet connection, and it's a dodgy one at that!

Anyway, am feeling much better now!!!      We are all sorted for FET number two and bloods commence next Thursday.  Let's hope third time's a charm    I had my pity party, now am all rearing to go again. I'm going to see my GP next week to see if she will sign me off for two weeks this time.  The day I figure ER to be is when I am due to start nights again, and I don't think it's a good idea!  I tend to overdo things and going for my ER straight from nights last time, in hindsight wasn't the best thing I've ever done.  I just feel totally exhausted and wiped out, and I've NEVER asked for time off before.  I think now it's time to make an exception.

Tracey - congrats on the surge!!  I'm keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for your little embies for Monday.

Rhianna - fingers crossed for your surge sometime this weekend!  I hope you aren't too tired from going to Manchester.  I'm going to have to go both days next weekend, as there is no one in work to bleed me.  NOT looking forward to two early starts on my weekend off!

Amanda - when are you testing hun?  I'm sending positive vibes for your BFP.

Michelle - all natural for me meant NO meds whatsoever.  No progesterone or anything.  I'm really glad as it's meant we can go from one natural FET cycle straight into the next.

Well girls, hope you all have a good weekend.  I'm looking forward to some BFP's over the next couple of weeks!

Love Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi everyone! Shaz you sound so much better, I am really glad. It has just got to be this time right 

I had a horrid experience this morning! Went to local hospital and the lovely nurse that had done my bloods earlier in the week wasn't on duty. I had this old battle axe who made me explain to her in the waiting room (which was full) what I was doing there! The whole place knew I was having IVF treatment by the time she finished with me. She very nearly refused to do me but did in the end. God! Some people. Anyway got to go to Manchester from now on because it is hopefully close to surge time!

Michelle = hiya, yep I am the same, no medication at all, just bloods and when I ovulate naturally they pop them back in. The new MFS hospital is great. Brand new and everything under one roof so more convenient.

Hope I have good news tomorrow that surge is here.... I'm dragging my mum with me tomorrow for some company as DH has to work! So early start again in the morning.

Amanda =   

Rhianna x x

[br]: 8/09/06, 19:45AAAggggghhhh still nothing. This is really annoying! I am sick and tired of the M56! My arm is black and blue from bloods. It has got to be tomorrow.....

Tracy hope everything went okay with your transfer today, here you go now on the 2ww. 

Amanda how are you doing?

Shaz when do you go again? Good idea about the 2 weeks off.

I have a question - I wanted to ask the nurse this morning but I forgot (too early!), is it three days after your surge you go in for your transfer? What happens if it lands on a Saturday or Sunday because I thought they didn't do any theatre work on the weekends? If I surge tomorrow (IF) then it will be Friday but if not until Wednesday then that lands on a Saturday so I've been wondering what will happen?

Thank you! Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi all

2 embies in place and hopefully holding on tight!  Test date is 28th Sept. Now all I have to do is wait....... 

It went well this morning.  Actually it turned into afternoon cos they were running over an hour late!  My bladder was close to bursting!!!  They defrosted 2 embies and both survived the thaw so we still have 5 left in cold storage.  They were 8 cells and 10 cells with slight fragmentation (but they said that that didn't mean much..?)

Poor you Rhianna - I bet you are well fed up by now!  I am a bit confused about what day you go in for transfer.  When I asked Sharon a week or so ago she said that if you surge on day one you go in on day three (ie one clear day in between) but I surged on a Thursday and, rather than go in on the Saturday as I would have expected, I went in on a Monday    So maybe they just pick the nearest date which isn't a Saturday or Sunday?  Not sure I like the idea that I maybe had to go in two days later than was optimum but hey ho, it was either that or not at all I guess.

Amanda - how are things?  When are you testing?  Got fingers crossed for you.

Shaz - good idea about the time off.  Hope all goes well with this next cycle.

Positive vibes to everyone       

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Glad everything went well Tracy.  I think I will ask tomorrow about what day you have transfer!  If I remember that is.  I am dreading the transfer thing because of this running late thing.  Shaz I think you said they were late and now Tracy, my bladder can just about cope with if they are running 5 mins late never mind an hour.  Think I will just drink my water in the waiting room, I can not go through another episode like last time when I had to demand a pee before they started, well it was either that or I would have had to let go on the waiting room floor!  Think DH would have disowned me there and then!

I am fed up now but I am sure it will be tomorrow.........

Amanda - hope you are feeling bit more positive and putting your feet up (well as much as you can with your DD to look after  

Shaz, two more days to go and you can start again      Hope you are okay in your in-laws, it must be hard not being in your own home whilst going through this?

Rhianna x x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Ladies

Thanks for thinking about me  

My 2ww has been pretty bad - not had a single feeling that this has worked - tested early this morning at 12 dpt and   as expected so not too down.  Carrying on with meds though but already thinking about next fresh cycle.

Well done with your transfer Tracey!  wow a 8 & 10 cell - that puts my little 2 cells to shame.  Fingers crossed they are already getting snuggled in for the long haul.

Rhianna - hope your surge comes soon - sending you surge vibes  

speak soon

Amanda x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls

Amanda - I'm sorry about the BFN, but remember it could still be too early to test.  Hang in there for a few more days, it's not over yet!!

Rhianna - it's 3 days after you get the surge that you go in - so if you surge on a Wednesday, then it will be Saturday.  They are shut on a Sunday, so that is the only day they don't do them, hence if you surge on Thursday it will be next Monday that you go in.  Does this make sense?  I'm starting bloods again on Thursday - it's come around quick!  Living with the in laws definitely is hard work........I hope you surge today!

Tracey - so glad your little embies are safe on board.  Good luck hun and rest up!

Well, my GP has signed me off for two weeks after transfer, so feeling really relieved!

Two more days till the bloods start all over again........

Love Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone, 

Amanda, sorry about your bfn.  You still have few days though so don't totally give up yet.  Even though I am a great believer in instincts IT's not over until the fat lady sings x.  

Well guess what.......... Still no surge.  Had a word with Lorraine this morning and she checked my chart and my levels haven't even risen much, they have been pretty level since first blood test.  I am usually pretty regular 30/31 days cycle so it should be tomorrow/day after really.  So it will either be Saturday or Monday for me.  Hopefully anyway!  I'm back in work tomorrow (been off for a couple of days), there are roadworks on the A55 that will delay me so doubt I will make it in before the deadline of 9.30!  There will be questions I am sure so I have the dilema again of do I tell them or do I not...  I've got away with only telling my boss so far because I was only late a couple of days last week as I went to local hospital for bloods most mornings.  I've also got a leaving party for one of my colleagues on Thursday and if I have been up since 5.30am I won't be in the mood for that!  I am trying to get out of it.

Tracy hope you are feeling good, and resting.  Shaz - nice to hear from you again.  Bet you can't wait to start all over again now.  

Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi

Amanda - so sorry about your BFN    Hope you are feeling ok.

Shaz - good luck for Thursday.  And it seems so quickly that you're back into it again! I guess that's the beauty of the natural cycle.  Hope your arm has had chance to recover (at the moment I worry about wearing short sleeved tops cos I look like a junkie with all the puncture holes and the huge bruise!)

Rhianna - fingers crossed for your surge coming soon.  You must be feeling so restless now.  Hope the journey isn't so bad.  Good luck with getting out of your party too  

I'm feeling ropey right now - I've had a bad stomach since Monday and been rushing to the loo an awful lot.  I can't believe how slow the time is going too .... it seems like AGES 'til 28th ......

Hugs to you all.

Txx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi everyone, still no surge.  This is getting mad   and we are now looking at switching to a medicated cycle which means down regging with buserelin for two weeks then taking HRT tablets and some pessaries  .  Will try again tomorrow as a last attempt but if no surge then we will have to choice.  I am worried because not sure why I am not surging.  I've never had any problems before, every test I have had showed me as ovulating okay and in the past when I've done FET I was fine.  I am starting to worry that I have now stopped ovulating for ever!  I am so tired as I've been to Manchester every morning this week and have had a hellish week in work, had to be sent home today at 4.30pm because I was on the verge of collapsing in the photocopier room!!!  I got home and went to bed and I've slept for two hours and feel much better.  But am still quite worried as to why... 

Anyway, Shaz you've started bloods I take it, hope it is okay and if you are still having to go to Manchester this weekend, I will be there tomorrow morning!!

Amanda, hope you are doing okay.  I guess that you have had no better news since you tested earlier in the week.  Know how you are feeling,   

Tracy, hope your stomach is better and that you are doing okay too.

Let you all know how I get on tomorrow, can you all please will my surge on!!!!

Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi Rhianna

I am really sorry about what is happening to you and I wish I could bring that blasted surge on for you. But all I can do is send positive surge vibes and a virtual hug.  I bet you are so fed up and not a little scared and frustrated too.  
When I first started out with fertility treatment my hormones didn't surge properly some months but now they do so try not to worry that it's gone forever - it's probably just a temporary blip.  All of this pressure at work and the stress and tiredness caused by the treatment probably isn't helping (although knowing that isn't a help in itself is it  )
Do you have a sympathetic GP? Is there a chance you could get signed off work for a while while you go through this??  Especially, if you have to start a medicated cycle.

Shaz & Amanda - hi to you both and hope you are doing ok.

Over in la la land, my 2ww is driving me mad    
I don't know if I'm coming or going, my stomach 'problem' has cleared up but now, as I'm starting to feel well again, my looney tunes mind is playing tricks on me and saying that I can't be pregnant and feel well.  I think about those little snowbabies all of the time and wonder how they are getting on and I just hope they are holding on tight.

The frustrating thing is that DH seems to have forgotten all about it and is able to just get on with his life.  Few people know about the treatment this time either and so I find it hard that no one else is as interested in what's going on inside me as me.  Thank goodness for this website......

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Oh Tracy you sound fed up   the 2ww has this effect on everyone!  And how do men manage to just carry on as normal!  At times it feels like you are the only one that is constantly thinking about what is happening inside you.  I suppose that is only natural because it is your body, it's much easier for anyone else to shut it out of their mind for a while.  My DH is exactly like this, the first few times we went through ivf I was really annoyed with him for doing it and was pretty horrid to him at times but when we talked about it he said it is his way of coping which I suppose is fair enough.  As long as he is there for you when you need him, which I am sure he is.  And you can always scream and shout at us on here, let it all out that way!  And don't worry about the feeling fine bit - that is good!  It is far too early for you to be feeling any different yet and as you know every pregnancy is different so feeling fine could be a good sign   

Hey guess what.... still no surge!  It is actually getting a bit hilarious now.  I am a regular at MFS as been there more or less every morning for the past two weeks even the cleaner says hi.  Spoke to Sharon today she is really nice.  So we now have a plan of action.  Tomorrow I go for a blood test and a scan.  If the bloods come back with surge - good and I go in on Wed for transfer.  If not then I will have had a scan (and that will hopefully be okay, I am now paraonid that I have something wrong with me!), they will order my drugs for me and they will be delivered on Monday and I start Tuesday.  So if that is the case it will be another four weeks until I get my embies back in.  We have no choice really because if we don't do the medicated route and just abandon the treatment to try again a natural cycle next month we won't get a full refund.  If we do the switch to the medicated route then we don't have to pay any extra just for the drugs.  Complicated?  Yes.  Story of my life?  Yes!

I have been thinking about work, and I really can't have any time off becuase I will be letting everyone down.  I know I should be thinking about myself but there are a lot of things going on at the moment and I am in the middle of some important projects and if I am not there they won't get done and that will make me even more stressed.  Anyway, decided that I am resting as much as I can this weekend and then whatever happens at least I won't have to get up at 5.30 every morning next week so I will try and work shorter hours at work (we work flexi) so should be fine next week.  

Rhianna x x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Rhianna - I can only imagine how frustrated you must be!!!!!!!!!!  I've got everything crossed for your surge today.  Tracey is right, being tired and stressed isn't helping, and you just starting feeling so frustrated too    Hang in there hun, it will all work out.  I know a medicated cycle isn't what you want - is there any way you can hold off and try again next month if you don't surge?  Or will they make you pay again?

Tracey - the 2ww is awful!  For me the first week seems to go really quickly, then the second week goes so slow you start going backwards!  You notice every single twinge, and ache and pain.  You can really send yourself crazy during that time    I'm willing away the days for you!  I meant to tell you that our embies had fragmentation last month too - apparently nothing to worry about?  It happens with frozen embies all the time.

Amanda - how are you doing hun?  Hope you are OK.

Well, still no surge - shock horror, I know it's not going to happen for another few days, so I feel like taking a break and starting again Monday.  My veins are collapsing left, right and centre!  My poor arms are in a right state.  It's really interesting though, my hormone levels at the same time last month were double what they are this month.  Your hormones are so variable, it's hard to make sense of what exactly is going on!  I'm starting to worry about the state of our last two embies - I keep thinking that if the last two survived, then the odds of the next two surviving aren't that great.  It's funny what goes through your mind!

Anyway, am thinking of you guys.  A BFP for any of us would really lift the levels of optimism I think!

Love Shaz xx


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi

Oh how I agree Shaz, some good news is what we need    
At this rate news of a surge is great news never mind a BFP though!  

I know what you mean about the first week - see it's gone already and I hadn't realised.  However, been out and brought pee sticks today.  I wonder how long I will be able to resist..... 

Rhianna - it's great that you've got a contingency plan in place now, Sharon is really helpful isn't she.  Good luck for tomorrow!   

Amanda - how you doing?

Hugs to you all.

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.  Hope you are all doing okay.  I am a bit    I had my scan this morning and it was okay.  Had a blood test too and hey guess what - no surge.  So I am now switching to medicated cycle.  My drugs will arrive on Tuesday and I start on buserlin Tuesday night for about two and a half weeks.  I am really disappointed but I suppose at least we don't lose any money doing it this way.  It is just delaying everything now for a few weeks and I was hoping it would have been done and dusted and outcome known by then.  Tonight I am not feeling too good, think the last two weeks have caught up with me and I am tired, covered in spots, can't even think about facing going to work tomorrow, got a headache (I am now boring myself!).  Going to have cup of t and some chocolate now that should do the trick!

Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hey Rhianna
What a blow for you.  I hope the cup of tea and chocolate helped (what am I saying, chocolate always helps!  )
I hope you can recover your mental and physical well being in the next couple of weeks and try and look after yourself.  I know work is important to you but don't be too hard on yourself right now cos you've been through the ringer.
Keep us posted on how those drugs are treating you.
Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya, thanks Tracy    I woke up this morning and felt exhausted so I have taken a couple of days off sick from work.  I just decided that if I was to start my injections tomorrow then I just need a couple of days complete rest so that I am in tip top condition!  I have to give this 100%.  My drugs are being delivered tomorrow - it will be interesting to see what goodies that brings!  The most dreaded part of all of this is the blasted cyclegest pessaries.  I hate them!  They make me put on so much weight that I can't fit into anything!!  Anyway it will all be worth it in the end hopefully.....  Hope you doing okay.  Just over a week is it now to testing day?  I really really hope it is good news for you Tracy.

Amanda - thinking of you too, today was official test day for you I think. 

Shaz - hope your arms are bearing up!  

Rhianna x x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Guess what?  We surged today! A few days earlier than what I thought, but good news, as DH flies on Monday to NZ and this way he'll be there  

Rhianna - sending you big hugs hun.  I'm so glad you've taken a couple of days off work - you need it, so make the most of it and put your feet up.  This whole thing is exhausting, and I'm sorry you had to have so many bloods taken, and not get the outcome you wanted.  Good luck with your meds - I know what you mean about the cyclogest!  I'm still struggling to lose the last few pounds from our first cycle of IVF - it just won't budge!  Keep positive and it WILL happen for you.

Tracey - those pee sticks are like an addiction!  They sit there in the box teasing you until you just have to open it!  Maybe we can start a new support group - pee sticks anonymous   

I'm on nights again, so hopefully I won't be too shattered for Thursday.  I'm off from Wednesday for two and a half weeks though, and fully intend to rest up!

Babydust girls 

Love Shaz xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi ladies

Thanks so much for thinking about me today    As you all know, i just knew that my snowbabies did not make it.  We have had a bit of time to dust ourselves down and get ready for plan B.  Thanks to your good wishes, they made the BFN that little bit easier today.

Our plan B is to change clinics, trust me though - we still love Manchester Fertility Services and are only changing as we have to go the whole hog and do a full fresh cycle next and we have 2 reasons for changing.  Firstly we really want our embies to go to blasto on this next fresh cycle.  Secondly, DH's workload has gone mental (we own our own business) and he is easily working 14hr days 6 days a week, so for my next cycle i am going to move in with my in laws in Nottingham so they can help out with my little cherub - i really dont like dragging her into fertility clinic waiting rooms, she gets soooo bored.  They are retired and very eager to help out and DH will just visit for the biggies such as EC & ET and weekends.  We are going to NURTURE in Notts so hopefully this will do the trick!  Also, hopefully as i will have babysitters on hand i can get some acupuncture and try and chill out a little bit.  Their rates are roughly the same as MFS too so thats good news.

Good luck with your 2ww tracey - stay away from the pee sticks   
Rhianna - my first FET was transferred from being natural to medicated and if i were able to do a FET cycle again i would most definitely go the medicated route again - it is really easy - i only had to go into the clinic 3 times including ET!!!  Really convenient, good luck with your injections, i dont envy you with the pessaries - i hate them too  
Well done on your surge Shaz - when is your transfer?  I have my fingers crossed that your DH will be there and that your snowbabies find a very comfortable spot.

Dust and glue to you all and hopefully you get the BFPs that you all deserve  

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.

Shaz - good on you with your surge, I am sooo jealous!  only joking, I have now come to terms with fact that I have to go down med route.  And I am so glad for you that you DH will be able to be with you before flying to NZ.  When will you go?  Does that mean that he won't be here for you when you find out the outcome?  That would be hard.  Will you be okay?

Tracy - pee sticks sill in box I hope??!!  How you feeling?  Still driving you crazy I bet, hang on in there girl .

Amanda - You'll have to let us know how you get on.  You never know a change could be good, and just get your in-laws to wait on you hand and foot.  It sounds like a nightmare your DH working such long hours but I suppose it is good if you own your own business - it's better than no work coming in at all.  Good luck with the whole thing again.  I really hope it works for you x x

It's back to work tomorrow for me.  My box of goodies came this morning.  Good god I will be rattling by the end.  There are about 6 boxes of tablets and 4 boxes of those god damn cyclogest!!   I have first buserelin jab tonight.  We will see if hypnotherapy has worked (the woman on the cd said to me that if I close my eyes and chant something and put my finger on the injecting sbot that it won't hurt, dh is praying that she is right as last time I was a right cry baby!!)  

I've had a very productive day today I've completed an application form for a new job, but it is really hard to know what to do.  I really feel I need a change and need to leave but they have been quite good with me during treatment and I don't feel up to changing jobs and having to tell a new set of people about my personal circumstances once again BUT I have always said that IVF will never rule my life, that I will carry on with my life and fit in IVF around it so going by that theory I guess I need to put the application form into an envelope and send it off!

Take care everyone and think of me and my jab tonight!!
Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hello
Just a quick note to say that I have started to bleed today - day 27 of my cycle too and I'm NEVER on time  
I know it doesn't mean that the treatment hasn't worked but it's hard to stay positive especially as I'm getting the full on cramps etc.
Feeling really low  
I'll log on again later when I've got my head straight.
Hugs to everyone (personal messages later).
Txx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Oh Tracy, I am so sorry    you must be feeling really upset, but I have read and heard about people that do bleed and are pregnant so try and stay positive.  I just don't know what to say but I am thinking about you.    I'm still keeping everything crossed for you x

Rhianna x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Tracy

Absolutely gutted for you hun .  Are you sure its the end - could it be implantation bleeding?  I had some blood and full on cramps when i got my BFP.

I have fingers and toes crossed that this is not the end of your cycle.  Take it easy and i will have the positive thoughts for you   

A x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Been thinking about you all day Tracy   hope you are doing okay.  Don't forget we are all here for you, I am still being positive for you and hope it was just a blip.

Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi ladies
Thanks for your support.  

The disappointment was stronger than I had anticipated - after all those years of failure in the past I should have know better    After one successful IVF I shouldn't expect instant success again.  I am also truly grateful for my DD and feel a little guilty for feeling so disappointed that this hasn't worked when at least we have her as a constant source of joy.

I rang the clinic today and we have decided that I will miss a month and try again on my next cycle.  I would love to try again straight away but being practical now, my parents in law are on holiday for two week in Oct and they are my main source of childcare when I have to go for bloodtests or transfer so rather than cause unnecessary bother it seems best to wait.  I guess it'll give me the chance to do some exercising and dieting again to try and get my body into a suitable condition to receive those little frosties next time.

Rhianna - how are the drugs treating you?  Glad you had a couple of days off work.  I hope that helped - are you feeling ok now?  Hey, there's no harm in sending off the application - you don't have to accept the job if they offer it to you.  Sometimes it's just good to test the status quo.

Amanda - what a good idea to go to Nottingham.  As you see from above we rely heavily on my in laws to help with childcare during the treatment so I hope it makes  the process a whole load easier for you next time.  When are you planning to start treatment?  Also, I'm not really up to speed with this, why have you decided to  have your embies go to blastocyst stage for this next cycle?

Shaz - well today was the big day (I think). How did it go??  Are you and embies ok??    

Thanks again for you support.   

Tracy xx


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Tracey - I'm so sorry hun that this cycle hasn't worked out for you.  I know how you are feeling right now    Have a nice rest for a month, and then you'll be rearing to go again.

Amanda - what's next for you sweetie?

Rhianna - how are the meds treating you, and any idea when ET will be?

Well, two little embies back on board again    It was a bit of a fiasco yesterday, but I can laugh about it at least!  We had our last two embies thawed - one pronucleate which they took out the day before, and one early cleavage which they took out on the morning of transfer (yesterday).  Both looked really good - the pronucleate had divided to 5 cells already, and no fragmentation this time.  The early cleavage was 6 cells and also looked great.  I was the first one scheduled for transfer, so went in, all stirruped up, etc etc, then they scanned my tum, and my bladder was empty (bearing in mind I'd had nearly a full 750ml bottle of water, plus a fruit juice as well). So, they sent me back out to drink up (I wasn't needing the toilet at all), and wait half an hour.  Another 400mls of water later, I went back in and they still couldn't see my bladder - because my bowels were in the way (tmi??).  So they went ahead, but we couldn't see much!  I had to stop twice on the way home from Manchester for a pee    And proceeded to go to the loo every ten minutes for the rest of the day.  I'm usually a woolworths bladder, but for some reason yesterday, my bladder would not fill up!!

So, am at home resting up now, and the dreaded 2ww begins again.  It will be worse this time as hubby is leaving the country on Monday, so will be on my own    Just as well for you girls,



Love to you all

Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Tracy, glad you are okay (ish).  The disappointment is horrible isn't it  , no one can understand unless you have been there, at least you have some more embies to try and I am sure that it will happen in the end.  I also think waiting is a good idea for you because you need it to be as 'easy' as possible and not having childcare would be stressful!  Have a month off and then you will be raring to go again.  

I am fed up tonight, think it is probably the medication!  I just keep thinking it would have all been done by now if my flippin body would have just behaved itself and ovulated!  No one really understands and all say well at least you had the option of doing it this way, well yes but I wish I wouldnt have had to take these drugs.  The injections are okay, I am drinking loads of water and I am feeling a lot better than I have done in the past.  I had hot flushes all day yesterday but haven't had any today so that is good.  I have had major stress last three days at work, I am having problems with one of my colleagues and it is the last thing I need at the moment.  Even more reason to finish that job application form.....  God I am depressing myself, sorry girls.  4 injections done, 12 to go....

Shaz, brill that you have had yours back in, xing everything again for you.  You poor thing not having your DH around you this time, but you have always got us don't forget    Hope your in-laws are spoiling you and you are resting!

Going to have an early night. 
Rhianna x x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone, what a lovely day (Weather wise!).  

Tracy, how you doing?  Hope you are feeling a bit better and getting ready for next cycle.  

Shaz, hope you are resting!  Your DH is going tomorrow? Don't forget we are here for you    I think you are very brave letting him go and facing the rest of your 2ww without him.  You will be fine x

I am still having the jabs.  I am tired and very very hormonal    I am trying to keep it under control but it is hard, the tiniest thing and I am off on one!  At least the colleague that I was telling you about is now on holiday for the next 2 weeks so it will be bliss at work.  I've got another 12 days of jabs before I go for bloods.  

Amanda, when do you start again?  I suppose you have a lot of organising to do if you will be temporarily moving to Nottingham.  It will be interesting to hear how they do things at a different clinic.

Got to go, nearly time for the blasted jab again.....

Rhianna x x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hiya
Hope you're all doing fine. 

Shaz - great news about the 2 embies.  Sending you loads of positive vibes and hoping that those little frosties are settling in nicely.  When is your contact date?  Hope the wait isn't too bad with DH away.
          

Rhianna - glad that your difficult colleague is away cos if you were anything like me on the downregging drugs you may well rip her head off with your bare hands if she got on the wrong side of you in the next week or so  

Amanda - will you be leaving this little thread now you're a Nottingham girl??  I'd like to know how you are getting on so if you start to post elsewhere with your progress please let us know so we can keep up to date.

Well I'm still bleeding today so I can be pretty certain it was AF and not implantation bleeding.  Feeling ok about it now and looking forward to another try.  I suppose I could sum up the feeling as whistful..... I would have liked to have know what those little embies would have been like as children but it wasn't meant to be.

Hugs to all and hope you have a good week.

Tracy xx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi ladies

Thanks for still thinking about little ol me!   

Rhianna - hope the drugs are not making you too mental.  The first time i took buserlin it made me a little crazy   i ended up arguing with DH and then when i tried to drive off and he stood in the road - yep i tried to run him down - we laugh at it now but it's a pretty serious drug.  I found that trying to drink loads of water and getting lots of fresh air helped loads.  Its probably a good idea that your colleague went on hols  

Shaz - fab news about your embies, have everything crossed for your cycle    Hope the 2ww does not drag too much without your DH there.

Tracey - Good to hear that you are ready for your next cycle    I am planning to take my embies to blastocyst next time for 2 reasons; 1. There are better odds with a blastocyst so therefore could reduce the embies transferred without reducing chance of getting pg, but not have so much risk of multiples.  2. Also want to make sure that they can get to blasto stage, have been reading (dont we all become trainee embryologists   !!) and from what i have reading - there are only a few embies from a cycle that have what it takes to be a baby so i want to get to that stage before we transfer.  It might not work and i know that my first fresh cycle did work but why not mix it up a little bit  .

I have been referred to NURTURE in notts and my MIL is thrilled that she is going to be looking after my DD while i am having treatment as she rarely gets to spend alot of time with her - its normally my mum who looks after Georgia while i am at work.  So hopefully i will be having my initial consultation soon and we can then plan when i will cycle again - i am not getting my hopes up of being able to sneak in a cycle before xmas so i have resigned myself to a new year fresh cycle.  Is it ok if i dont move over to a Notts site as even though i will be going there for childcare reasons i still feel like a MFS girl  .  Plus i need regular updates on the lovely Lorraine and Sharron at MFS.

Talk to you all again soon

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.  

Amanda you made me laugh about the rowing and nearly driving over your husband!  It is a really serious drug, I feel as if I could explode at the moment and I am so placid usually.  I am really feeling it and everyone keeps telling me it is only for a couple of weeks, well yes that is true but they have no idea how it makes me feel.  Last night I just felt like driving off somewhere just to be on my own for a bit becuase I hate it when I am so horrid to DH and my family.  But DH said that he knows how miserable it is for me and that he really understands and then I burst into tears!!  He deserves a medal!  Really glad you are staying with us.  Hope your MIL has a computer that you can use!  Really interesting stuff about the blasto.  I have read about it too, it will be good to know how things go with that.

Tracy, you poor thing still bleeding  ,    for next go.  When will you go again, are you going to go straight into it or take a break?  

Shaz - how was the goodbye today, not too bad I hope.  Take it easy  

Rhianna x x x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Man, I've got way too much time on my hands!  It's a double edged sword really - I'm glad to have the time off work and be able to rest, but it means I've got too much time to think, and sit here and notice every little twinge, and miss my DH!!  You just can't win !!  

Amanda - I think it's really weird how all the clinics vary - some do two day transfer, some do three, and others to blasto - no one can tell me why they all do it different though!  I have to admit I think I'd prefer to wait to blasto to, so I can't wait to hear how it goes for you.  I've heard good things about the clinic in Nottingham - you are lucky to have the help with the in laws too!

Rhianna - I'm sorry the drugs are making you feel like **** hun.  It's really awful when you can hear yourself and how awful you are being, but you still can't stop it!!  It's good DH is being so understanding for you.  I found the Buserulin fine, but when I was on clomid, I was a hormonal *****!

Tracey - how are you doing hun?

Nothing to report here - yesterday was really hard with DH leaving, and I was a total mess!  In 7 years we've never been apart for more than two weeks, so the next 6 weeks is going to drag, especially when the next 2 are the 2ww!!!  Feeling OK, and glad of the opportunity to catch up on some much needed sleep.  My official testing date isn't until the 9/10, but I'll know by next Wedneday or Thursday, as that's when AF is due.  The hard thing is I always get spotting a few days before AF is due, so I don't even usually get to the date to officially test!  I'd love to see DH in a few weeks with some wonderful news!

Right, another day on the couch begins...................

Love Shaz xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi everyone, well I am a lot calmer today for some reason    My legs are sore now so tonight had my jab in my arm.  It was a lot less painful but it did bleed and I being a drama queen thought I was bleeding to death even though DH pointed out it was only a small blob of blood it just looked worse absorbed into the piece of kitchen roll I had dabbed on it!  

I am really tired though,  I nearly fell asleep in work this afternoon, I put my head in my hands as my eyes were really heavy and next minute someone came to the door and asked if I was okay!  V embarassing, I don't think I actually did sleep but given a few more minutes I am sure I would have nodded off.  

Hope you all doing okay.  My sister came tonight and cooked me and DH a lovely meal so that I could just come home and rest - my family are really really good, couldnt ask for better.  You would have thought they would have had enough of me and my treatments by now but they never show it even if they have!

Take care everyone
Rhianna x x


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi Girls,

This 2ww is dragging - I'm only halfway there!  I have had really strong AF like cramps yesterday and today, no spotting yet, but I expect that will come shortly!  I'm not feeling particularly optmistic at the moment - I wouldn't be surprised if I went to the toilet only to discover AF has arrived - a week early    AF used to be completely different before I had a miscarraige at 8 weeks over two years ago.  I used to just come on with no warning - now after D&C I get spotting sometimes up to a week before AF is due, and it lurks for days till AF comes properly.  I sometimes wonder what exactly the state of my uterus is like after the evacuation!  I'd just love to at least be left with the possibility of being pg - as soon as I start spotting days before my period, I pretty much know it hasn't worked.  I guess the next couple of days will tell  

I hope everyone is OK - Rhianna, any tentative dates for your treatment?

Love Shaz xx

PS  if this doesn't work, we've had 6 embies put back in and NOTHING.  By all accounts according to the docs, I should be pregnant by now!  Our fresh cycle went like a dream, no explanation for infertility.  Anyone have any ideas about what to do next?


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya

Shaz, hang on in there.  It's not over yet girl  .  Do you know what, I am the same as you, Consultant says. and I quote "there is no reason why you can't get pregnant but what I can't tell you is what you have to go through to get there".  These words of his ring clear in my head all the time and makes me want to never give up.  He says to me that I am perfectly capable of getting and being pregnant but it just hasn't happened yet.  I have had 6 embies put back in up to now and will have had 8 if this treatment goes okay, all 6 have proved to be no good.  I just firmly believe that it will happen to me one day, it has to right?  

The biggest nagging doubt I have though is whether something has changed inside me after what happened the first time we did ICSI.  When I got pregnant the first time I did ICSI and then had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks I had to have a D & C too.  I then subsequently bleed v v heavily and v v randomly every day, some days worse than others, sorry TMI but you will see the relevance in a minute!  I ended up in my local A & E and had to have another D & C (6 weeks after my first one).  No one has ever told me why this happened all I was told was that it was very rare for someone to need 2 D & C's.  I often wonder everytime I have a bfn - what has happened to me whilst having these two D & C's and whether it has affected my chances of getting pregnant again.  But I reassure myself by thinking all my scans look okay (and boy do we have lots and lots whilst having treatment!), so if anything was wrong then they would pick it up on there.  Sorry I am going on a bit!  I don't think that will make you feel better but I just wanted to let you know that I too sometimes wonder if I still have a chance of getting pregnant!

I have no dates for my treatment, it is dragging on and on now.  Still no AF, apparently it should appear around about now and then I go for bloods next Thursday.  I am having quite bad AF pains and have been all week so hopefully it will come soon.  Sooner that comes then sooner I can go and start the HRT tablets - oh what joy!

Tracy and Amanda hope you are doing okay too.

Shaz - keep us posted on how you are doing okay.  

Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hello all

Sorry to have been AWOL for a while - I've been away from my computer as we are in the process of packing up the contents of our 'office' (aka the spare room) so we can decorate and my computer was hidden behind a huge pile of boxes of books!

Rhianna - any news on AF yet?  Big positive vibes to you for this treatment.  Keep thinking positive and hopefully it will happen for you soon     

Sharon - hopefully your AF has stayed away...?  How are you doing with DH away?  I would hate that during this time and I'm sending you loads of hugs.

Amanda - great that you're going to keep in touch with us in Notts.  Have you got a date for treatment yet?  

I'm feeling fighting fit and ready for another course of treatment when AF arrives in a few weeks time.  Then it's back on the merry-go-round.  

Seems like everyone I know is getting pregnant again (and all so flipping easy....same old story isn't it, guess I'm just noticing it more now I'm struggling myself again).  

Anyway better get on with some more decorating!

Keep well all of you.

Tracy xx


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## kiwigirl10 (Apr 10, 2006)

Love Shaz x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

OH Shaz
So sorry about your BFN
How are you feeling?  Bet you wished you had DH with you right now.
I know it's not going to make up for it, but I'm sending you loads of virtual hugs.
Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Oh no Shaz.   That is terrible news.   I really really hoped that it would be bfp for you this time and that we could have some good news on this thread.  If there is anything we can do just shout, I know it doesn't help but I do know exactly how you are feeling and it is horrible.  You've just got to let yourself deal with it in your own way, you will feel bit better in few days x x


Rhianna x x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.

Shaz - been thinking about you, hope you are bearing up as well as you can.  When is your DH home?

Tracy - how you doing?

Amanda - hiya, don't forget to let us know when you are moving and starting again.

Would you believe that I am still just doing nothing but taking my jabs daily?  No AF yet, it is driving me mad.  I was supposed to go to Manchester tomorrow for bloods but phoned them today and they said no point if no AF.  This is dragging on now and I have had enough.  They said keep taking buserlin until Sunday and phone on Monday if no AF.  This is now day 37 in this cycle and I usually have a cycle of 31 days, on the v rare occasion I have had a 38 and a 42 (!) so I suppose this could be one of those.  Wonder what happens if still no AF by Monday.  

Take care all
Rhianna x x


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hello

Rhianna - that sounds SO frustrating.  You must be tearing your hair out by now.  Fingers crossed for an AF soon.

Shaz & Amanda - I hope you are both ok.  Shaz, I hope you are finding things ok without DH.

Oh, I do hope we have some good news on this thread soon.  I think we deserve it ladies don't we.

I've started to diet and exercise again (after a brief spell of feeling sorry for myself and comfort eating) so hopefully I will be in better shape when we start the next cycle.

Hugs to you all.

Txx


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Ladies

Shaz so sorry to hear about your result, hope you are coping without your DH.
Rhianna, hope that your AF has come and you are downregged.
Tracey - glad to hear that you are fighting fit and ready to go, i am still at the comfort eating stage  

Well i am still in my starting blocks with treatment not sure where to go?  Was pretty much sorted with NURTURE in notts but after spending 2 days with my in laws not sure i could spend my treatment with them - boy do i have some monster in law stories    Have an inital consultation set up for 17 October though so will play it by ear.  Have also sent for an appointment at ARGC in london.  Have some close friends that live in watford so could spend some time there.  Will have to wait and see.  Feel a bit more confident about going to a new clinic though and DH said we should be very business like and interview the clinics to see what they can do for us.  Will let you know how i get on.

Speak to you all again and   to us all

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya everyone.     AF is here at very very long last.  I am going to MFS next Thursday for blood test which hopefully will show I am downregged and then HRT tablets commence!  I am glad that it has come round at long last but this whole treatment is dragging on and on.  I counted it will be another 5 weeks until everything is finished and we will know the outcome.  If bfn then I have 6 weeks to lost all my weight gained with all these drugs before xmas, hopefully though it won't be an issue because it will be a bfp.  

Amanda, good idea about checking out different clinics.  It is stresfull enough going through treatment with out having to endure in-laws 24 7!  Also, if I remember correctly I think you said that you have done medicated FET?  What were the HRT drugs like?  Did you get any side effects?  I haven't had those before and I have loads of them and I've heard that you have to take about 4 a day and that they can make you feel really bad?  Think mine are called Climavyl or something like that.

Shaz, hope you are doing okay and you can now look ahead and plan what is next.  You can't give up x

Tracy, my DH has just splashed out and bought some gym equipment and is turning our garage into a gym, I think the plan is that I join him in there (think he is sick to death of me complaining about the weight I put on whilst having treatment!).  I hate excercising with a passion, but I can't think of any excuse not to if it is all there three steps away from my back door!

Let you all know how blood test results turn out on Thursday....

Rhianna x x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Yeah Rhianna - way to go with the AF!    Its like waiting for the tide to go out when you are downregging.  On my first medicated FET i was DRing for about 4 weeks it was a total nightmare - i started treatment in Feb and did not get my result until May.

Dont worry about the HRT drugs they are not too severe, the only probs i had were headaches when i first started taking them - but after the first couple of days and you get into the 3 a day tabs (i was on climaval too) you should be fine.  On my first FET i had a bit of nausea as a side effect and also bloating but was not too bad on second.  The only tip i have is to take the tabs with food as i only got nausea if i took them on an empty tum. I bet you will be so happy to finally get some female hormones into you.  Let us know when you have a date for your ET.

Shaz, hope you are feeling ok  
Tracey - can i have some of your motivation   desperate to shift some pounds.

Talk to you soon

Amanda


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## tracyej (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi
Rhianna - excellent news about the AF.  Good luck with the rest of it.  It seems like forever that you've been on this cycle and that's just for me, so lord knows how it must be dragging for you!  Anyway, first hurdle over now, let the menopause commence!

Amanada - I'm afraid to say that my motivation to lose weight comes from my niece (who's only 7 so I can forgive her just about) who asked me why I was fat    I had to answer her by saying that it was because I ate too much and didn't do enough exercise.  However, she didn't leave it there, oh no, she suggested I did some exercise and ate a meal then missed a meal.  V sensible advice, if a little too candid perhaps  

Hoping for AF next week so fingers crossed.

Tracy xx


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya all, 

Amanda, thanks for the advice re HRT.  I can't wait to start them now, hopefully blood test tomorrow will be good news!  At least things are moving now, finally.  I can't believe it has taken so long, mind you not as long as you though that must have been awful.  By the way your little girl is georgeous, I love the new picture!


Tracy, pity you don't live closer you could use my new garage gym!  I have absoloutly no excuse now, there is a telly and a heater in there.  My DH is so funny!

Shaz, hope you are doing okay.

Well girls I am now going to attempt to give myself my injection aaaggghhh!  My DH is working late and I usually have them about 6pm.  I've waited an hour and he still isn't home so I am going to be brave.... it will take me all of my will power but I CAN do this!

Let you know my result tomorrow, everyone x fingers for me that I am ready to start the happy pills.  

Rhianna x x x


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## egg (Dec 28, 2005)

hi to all you MFS ladies, a quick question for you.  I am at a clinic elsewhere but need to get a bhcg blood test done next weekend and would like to try to avoid travelling for hours, particularly if its another bfn, do mfs do them?  If so do they get the results back the same day?  I was hoping one of you would know,
thanks
egg
x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya     can't believe it, I posted a really long message and then my computer had a hissy fit and said that I had timed out and my message has gone, how annoying!

Anyway I was just saying that I've had my schedule from MFS this morning and I start HRT tomorrow and gradually build up my dose until day 15, have a scan on day 16 and then hopefully ET on day 18 which will be 1st of November.  At least something is happening at last, can't believe I started this cycle in August sometime!  

What a georgous day today, I am going for a chinese tonight with some friends and DH, it is one of those eat as much as you like buffet style things which sounds great but last few days the buserlin making me v tired and not very hungry!  So not in the mood for it really, but at least I feel as if I am 'going out', all my friends are still going out every weekend and I have been feeling v left out last few weeks!!

Hope you are all okay.
Tracy - any sign of AF yet?  Hope it comes soon x

Amanda - Are you still looking and researching?  Made any decisions yet? 

Shaz - Hope you are doing okay too.  Is DH home yet? Are you still planning on moving to NZ, what is the treatment like there?  Maybe it will be a good thing for you, change of clinics, procedures etc? 

Take care everyone, can't wait for some happy hormones tomorrow.
Rhianna x x 

P.S. Egg - not sure.  You could always phone them and ask, they are really helpful and friendly.  Good luck!


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hello MFS ladies

Thanks for the message Rhianna - I am sure you will feel tonnes better the moment you go on the HRT tabs - just remember to keep your fluids up as you might get a bit of a headache like i had.  It only lasts about a day if you are not careful - i think its a body reaction to being suppressed for so long and then having a blast of female hormones.  I am still researching potential clinics and i am 'interviewing' one of them tomorrow.  Its the nottingham one so will also be seeing how the monster in law deals with looking after my cherub.  Thanks for the kind comment you made about my little chick i think she is gorgeous but i am very biased  .

Shaz - hope you are doing ok
Tracey - good luck with you tx - any dates yet?
Egg - not sure about HCG at MFS as i really wanted a cumulative HCG test doing when i got my BFP and i got spotting just to make sure - but i was told that they would not do it.  They do plain and simple HCG blood tests - i think they check that it is above a certain level but thats it.  best to give them a call as i am no expert - Good luck

Talk to you all again soon

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi everyone, sorry been quiet but my computer has died and I've been lost without it, back on track now.  

Well, hrt's going okay.  Since starting two tabs a day I have completely lost my appetite and today had a bit of a 'funny turn' whilst shopping.  It was so hot in the shops and I just began to feel really unwell and nearly fainted.  Mum got me to the car just in time. i am okay now though.  Don't know if it is the drugs or it was just that I was too hot!  Going to Manchester tomorrow - ran out of needles!  I am counting the days now until I get my embryos back in.  Should be 1st of Nov if goes to plan.

Amanda how did the interview go?!  

Tracy - how things going with you, have you started bloods yet?

Shaz, hope you are okay too.

take care everyone
Rhianna x x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi girls, well this is more like it I am now feeling much more   rather than  .  HRT tabs are doing good!  I thought I was going round the bend on Sunday night.  I was an emotional wreck.  I was in the 'no one understands what I am going through, no one appreciates the s*** I go through....' frame of mind and DH got it big time.  It is quite comical now but it was horrid on Sunday.  I thought I was heading for a breakdown, I couldn't stop crying and not just a few tears crying proper bawling and hyperventilating!  

Anyway dose increased to 6mg a day now and I am feeling normal (ish) again!!  I am praying that when I have a scan on Monday that my lining is thick enough, please oh please, I can't cope with any more setbacks I've had enough!  

Hope you are all doing okay??  

Rhianna x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Rhianna

Glad to hear you are finding things a little better - that buserlin is nasty - not looking forward to that again.  Have my fingers crossed that your lining is where it should be on monday, is it wednesday for ET?  Have my fingers and toes crossed for you on this cycle.

My meeting at NURTURE went really well, they have a really good 'vibe' and they are a non-profit organisation, all profits go to the technology of the centre which is really good.  They also dont make you cycle according to the days they do EC and ET so if you need an EC on a Sunday they will do it so that they work around you - not make your cycle fit in with their schedule, which sounds pretty good.  They also do your ET depending on how your embies are doing - they like to pref do a 3 day transfer but will go to blast if its looking good.  Plus they have really strict procedures on what they will freeze - which i am really glad about as we paid so much to freeze our embies and then do 2 FETs - would rather know that what i have in the freezer is up to scratch.  So we are thinking about doing a cycle in the new year and if this does not work maybe carry on looking elsewhere.  We pay the massive bills so i think we deserve to be picky and see who can do the best for us.

Anyway, i have stolen the post i wanted to send to you - really wish you the best for monday, let me know how you get on.

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi everyone.  I am so nervous about tomorrow, had to log on to have a rant!  I am going for my scan at 9.45 and I am so hoping they are going to say my endo is thick enough.  I wonder if there is a possibility that it won't be?  I supose there is.  I have been taking all my meds as I should and I have been feeling some wierd sensations as if my womb is stretching (!) so I know something has been happening! I've booked Wed, Thurs and Fri off as leave from work so I am really hoping for a Wed ET. x fings for me.  I can't believe that it has taken so long!!  

Tracy - are you okay?  Have you started treatment yet?  

Amanda - NUTURE sounds really good.  I think there is a lot to say about non-profit organisations at least then you know that they are doing everything in your best interest and no one else.  Sounds like a good idea to have a nice xmas and then new year, new start and a new clinic.  I am dreading xmas this year if I have a bfn.  Xmas three years ago I was pregnant and so excited then 2 days after I learnt that I had miscarried, so xmas is not good time for me, let's hope it's a better one this year!  And if it is a bfn, I'll cope!

take care, let you know tomorrow what the outcome is!
Rhianna x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Rhianna

Have my fingers crossed that at today's scan you get good news - we need some good news on this thread     

My first medicated FET was started as a natural one and it felt like forever to get from start to finish - started feb and did not test until mid-may.  Dont worry though as hopefully it will all be worthwhile.

 

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi Amanda, well....... yes I am ready!  Can't believe it, Wed I will have my embryos in.  I am excited/nervous here we go again on the rollercoaster.  Started those pessaries last night and I have terrible leg cramps, I have them every time I take those.  It should ease off in a few days and anyway I don't care at least I am on track now!  I hope you are right on the good news front, I just want it to work so much so that I can just get on with my life then.  Feels like the last few years have been injections/hormones/operations/hospitals/blood tests/pregnancy tests/pesaries and nothing much more!!!

Anyway I'll stop ranting now, I'll post after ET.  I am debating whether to keep a diary on FF this time as reading others' diaries have made me feel a lot better last few weeks, I'll see how I feel post ET.

Thanks for your support
rhianna x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Rhianna

Just sending you best wishes for tomorrow and sending dividing and cleaving vibes to your little embies.
Hope this is the cycle for you - will be thinking of you tomorrow.  It might be a good idea to do a diary, although saying that you will see that the 2ww diary i did last time ends halfway through.

Remember not to drink any water until you get to the Bridgewater and in your gown as i ended up sitting desperate for the loo for over 1hr as they were running late!!

Look forward to hearing how your snowbabies do tomorrow

Amanda


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi Amanda, thanks for your message.  Sorry haven't updated sooner but I have been "resting", mum and DH has insisted this time that I put my feet up for at least a few days.  Anyway, they have left me alone for a few hours so sneaked out the laptop!  We had really good day on Wed.  I had two three cell embryos put back in.  One looked perfect, the other looked a bit messy but still had three cells.  The really good news is that we still have two in the freezer, we weren't expecting that at all becuase it has never happened before.  We've always had to defrost four to get two good embryos.  So all in all v good day.  I feel really positive this time, don't know why, never have felt like this before so it could either be a good sign or be a sign that I've had too many hypnotherapy sessions!  

Bridgewater was v impressive.  We had to wait about half an hour so not bad.  I didn't drink anything until I had my gown on!  I've learnt that lesson before and I got it right this time.  Also, our favourite nurse was there in theatre - Sam.  So everything went really well.

So now for the difficult bit, waiting.  We test on 15th nov.  No symptoms yet apart from extremely sore (.) (.) due to pessaries I am always the same.  Could do with a forklift to get me out of bed in the morning!  I literally have to hold them to get out of bed they hurt so much!  Anyway found a maternity bra that I bought last time I was pregnant and I am not taking that off, will sleep in it!

Keep in touch, take care
Rhianna x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Rhianna

Fab news about your embies  .  It is so boring to be on the 2ww when you have to rest all the time - hope you are not going too nuts  .

Your boob issue sounds really positive as i had awfully painful boobs with the 2ww on the cycle where i was pg with DD - but i had nothing much going on with my boobs on my FET cycles even though i was on the lovely pessaries.  Ooooh not looking forward to them again in the new year.

Keep up with the pma      i have my fingers and toes crossed for you

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

HIya Amanda, just updating you on how im doing on the horrid 2ww!

I started out really good, positive and feeling okay.  Last few days I have had quite a lot of symptoms and don't know what to make of them all!  My boobs are still the same - very very sore and heavy, I keep poking them throughout the day to make sure that they are still really sore!  I keep thinking that is a positive but then I keep getting these sort of af pains.  Now I say sort of because I don't know if they are really af pains or if it is just my mind driving me crazy      They are af pains but not very low down they are quite high up and not as severe as they would be usually.  Any ideas??  

Also I wanted to ask you something, hope you don't mind!  But I haven't done medicated FET before so I was wondering do the HRT's and Cyclegest stop you actually having a period?  And as I had trouble with my last period i.e. it was a week late and I was on buserlin then do I count first day of my last period as day 1 and therefore this would be day 34 for me or does that not mean anything becuase of the drugs?  Don't worry if you are confused and I am making no sense at all, just tell me to stop ranting!!

I think I am just desperate for someone to just tell me what is happening inside me and if I am heading for a bfp, and I know that that is impossible!!

Anyway enough about me, hope you are doing okay.  Enjoy christmas and then new year and new start for you, forget about the pessaries for now if you can!  

Thanks for continuing to post, 
Rhianna x x x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hiya, not feeling good tonight.  I've had af pains all afternoon today and feel that it is all over.  I think that it is the drugs that are making my (.)(.) sore, and that was the only symptom I had really.  It is back to work tomorrow and then I wll test on tuesday night.

Rhianna x x x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Hi Rhianna

Hang in there   i was so convinced that it was over on my first cycle and i got my bfp.  It was only on my second cycle (1st FET) that i felt confident about getting a positive - and that was BFN - i only ever get symptoms when it is negative.  I have everything crossed for you.  

Sending you all the     needed and hoping that Tuesday night does not drag.

Let me know how you get on

Amanda


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Hi Amanda, just letting you know we had a bfn.  Im gutted and cried my heart out this morning, then composedmyself at work all day then as soon as I walked out the door tonight to come home I started again!  I'll be better in a couple of days.

Rhianna x


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## amanda_hd (Oct 16, 2004)

Rhianna

So sorry to hear your news    when i did not see a message last night i really thought that you and your DH were celebrating.  I am so gutted for you - the first days after a BFN are bloody awful, sending gentle hugs to you and your DH and hoping you feel better soon.

Be kind to yourself and take care

Amanda x


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## rhianna (Aug 9, 2006)

Thanks Amanda, it makes it easier knowing that there is someone out there knows exactly how you feel after a bfn, that is what I love about this site.  

I feel a lot better today.  I've done a bit of comfort eating a lot of   but feel stronger today.  We have got to keep believing that it will happen to us, we must not give up.  I've also got 2 frosties waiting for me and hopefully that will be a natural cycle, mind you I won't hold my breath after last time!  Going to take some time out first though.  

Keep in touch and let me know how you get on in the new year.

Rhianna x x x


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