# IUI-D with LWC Cardiff: how long is the process?



## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hi there everyone,

I'm new to FF and this board; in fact I'm new to TTC! My lovely wife and I got married (CP'd) in September, after having been together for seven years, and even before the wedding, we knew that we'd start the process of TTC as soon as we'd tied the knot. We've always known we'd like to have children, and for me I feel like I've spent the last 10 years (I'm 2 waiting for the right time!

Well the time has finally come, and we have our initial consultation and counselling session at the LWC in Cardiff this Thursday (oh it's so lovely to be able to tell someone, because we're keeping it all very quiet for the time being- just could do without everyone watching and waiting, if you see what I mean?) and I just wondered how long the process from initial consultation to actual insemination takes on average? Obviously I have to have blood tests and we need to choose the donor sperm and all of those things, so I'm guessing that it takes a while- but is it two/three/six/eight months - or less or more? I guess I'll have a better idea after our appointment on Thursday, but I thought I'd ask you lovely people as I'm bursting with excitement and want to know everything NOW, if you know what I mean?!  

Thanks for all of your help, Kat


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello Kat  

I have no idea of the wait at the LWC - sorry. But just wanted to say. It is VERY exciting when you start out on your journey

Good luck  

Emma x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay kat

welcome to FF and congratulations on your wedding and your first consultation!! YAY!!!

well we used LWC in london and we had our 1st consultation in december 07 ... i had had most of my bloods done, but then had a few more and we were ready to start first cycle in feb 08.  

so it was v quick from 1st consultation.  i guess you need a month for all the bloods cos you have them on different days of the month.  i dont know if you have to go back with results for them to tell you your tx plan and then if its straight forward no problems shldnt take long to the fist iui.

i actually had to wait till march for first iui cos my ovulator predictor kits didnt detect a surge in feb.  have you been monitoring to see if you are ovulating?

aimeex


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hey guys, thank you so much for replying!

Emma- thank you! Yes it is exciting isn't it? I haven't even begun our journey yet but I'm already so excited, it's a bit rediculous really! Our first BFN will probably bring me back down to the ground with a bump though!

Aimee - thank you so much for your advice and congratualations on your preganancy! What fantastic news! Can I be a bit dumb though? What is a tx plan? I need to get to grips with all the terminology really! As for monitoring my ovulation, no I haven't been doing this, but perhaps I should start- I did think about this yesterday. Must read up on that too! And thank you for letting me know how long it took you to go from consultation to first IUI- that's lovely and quick and hopefully it shouldn't take too much longer for us either... the way I see it (hopefully anyway) is the sooner you start the sooner you'll hopefully be pregnant! It isn't going to happen any other way after all!!  

Thanks again, both of you!

Kat xx


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

kat - soz!! TX is treatment. i'll find you a list of the useful abreviations!!

So hopefully you wont have any issues and you can do unmedicated IUI that is the easiest and least intervention. Although some women who dont have fertility issues decide to have IVF just because the chances are higher of concieving.

so when you have all your bloods done and examin you they will have a better idea of your fertility level. And then the consultant can discuss with you what kind of treatment you might choose and what is suitable.

You are young so hopefully you shouldnt have any problems.

we decided to go for 3 IUIs and then review if that didnt work.

We monitored my ovulation using the digital clear blue fertility monitor .... it wasnt 100% accurate and in retrospect i dont know if it added to my stress levels or not. some months i appeared to ovulated and some i didnt. But i know that even on one month where the OPK didnt detect an ovulation i did ovulate because it was picked up with a scan.

it does give you a guide and it helps a little bit with trying to tune into your body.

In the end i normally knew i was ovulating cos i was more horny (sorry if tmi ) i produced the egg white cervical mucus and my skin was brighter.

so i guess the monitor helped me get to the stage where i could read my body better.

Do you have regular periods?

i would very much recommend relaxation CDs if youre into that kind of thinig. i think it helped me loads.

kat enjoy every milestone towards pregnancy youre going to get there by hook or by crook. so enjoy it as much as you can.

here is a list of abreviations:

2WW = 2 Week Wait
AF / Aunt Flo = Menstrual cycle
BFN Big Fat Negative
BFP Big Fat Positive
BMS Baby Making Sex
DE = Donor Egg
DH = Dear Husband
DN = Dear Neice/ Nephew
DP = Dear Partner
DW = Dear Wife
DD = Dear Daughter
DS = Dear Son
DX =Diagnosis
D/R = Down Regulation
DPT or DPO = Days past transfer or Days past ovulation.
EC = Egg collection
ET = Embryo Transfer
FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer
FSH = Follicle Stimulating Hormones.
HPT = Home Pregnancy Test.
IF = Infertility 
M/C = Miscarriage
OPK = Ovulation Predictor kit
Pee stick = Home Pregnancy Test
PG = Pregnant
PM = personal message (sometimes IM too)
PUPO = Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise (i.e. on the 2ww)
SA = Semen Analysis 
TTC = Trying To Conceive 
TX = Treatment

and website for CDs.

http://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/?gclid=CMXppNSn25YCFRqH1Qod9zCb2g

aimee

/links


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

welcome Frinn!

we were at LWC in London for our first baby too. we were ready for insemination 2 months after initial consultation. we had to wait though as I had a run of infections that needed to be cleared up and a stupid gp that wouldn't sign the welfare of the child form.

second time around we were at CARE Nottingham and it took 2 months again from initial consultation to first 'go'

so, it can be quick but things that will slow you down are; waiting for sperm, waiting for tests if you choose to do them through your gp to save money, waiting for idiot gps to sign forms... 

exciting times ahead though! yay!


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hi Aimee and Rosypie,

Thank you both so much for your messages!

Aimee- thank you for sharing all that with me and explaining about the OPKs (and all the abbreviations!). On my way home I bought the clear blue OPK and came home a peed on it! It was amazing just to pee on something to be honest!!! Sounds crazy, but after years of wanting a baby, but knowing that it was never the right time, I'm finding it crazyily exciting being given permission to start peeing on sticks and chatting on this site! Lol!   Thank you for sharing your own experiences with me, it's so great to chat to women in the same situation as us... I know so many women who are TTC but they all just go home and do it in the privacy of their own homes with their husband's! And thank you for the advice about the relaxation CDs- that's a really good point and I will have a look at your link in a moment because it will help with the inevitable stress.

Rosypie - thank you for sharing your experiences with us, that's really encouraging! I hadn't thought about the fact that your GP has to sign the welfare of the child forms- that's just another thing to worry about isn't it? I can quite believe that my GP will take an age to do that. Ah well, we'll just have to wait and see I guess.

Another thing I wanted to ask is how you juggled IUI with work (assuming you both work full-time?). Did you tell your employers when you began the process or did you keep it quiet and fib about why you needed the time off?

Thanks ever so much, Kat (and Lucy) xx


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

Kat - i was exactly the same as you once we got going! just feeling sooo happy that i was allowed to buy books, and wee on sticks, and take folic acid .... felt soo great after wondering when we would get started.

just to let you know that we dont have GPs so i dont know who signed our welfare of the child form.

we live in spain and travelled back to london for IUIs. I took holiday for the time off work i needed, i actaully didnt start this job till March this year after my 1st IUI so i told my boss to begin with and he has been really supportive and basically bent over backwards but he maybe a weird anomoly ..... more than likely. he is also being really supportive about whatever i need for M leave and coming back to work as well.

I didnt have time off for my 2ww but i know that other people did especially those who had IVF.

i guess it would depend what kind of boss you have and how supportive she/he is as to what you tell them about TTC.

you maybe able to get your GP to sign you off for some days too.

For an IUI if its straight forward you just go the day after you have had the surge on the OPK and it only would take you 15 mins plus waiting and traveling time. so depending on how far you live from the clinic you could just pop in.

if you need some scans running up to the ovualtion you would need more appointments over a week or so, but they are also quick.

obviously with IVF the egg collection and embryo transfer is a bit more invasive and collection involves a general anasthetic so you would need more time off for that.

sorry if im waffling!!

you can also post on the http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=164594.60 cos there are some other ladies here preparing for next treatment

aimeexxx


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

If you go straight to a clinic i.e. self-refer then there will be a form for your GP to sign. If you get a GP referral (whether for NHS or private treatment) then I don't think it's required. When we went to CARE Nottingham for no.2 they didn't take self referrals so we got our GP to do it (a different GP that time!) and we were never asked about the welfare form...

When we very first started, I was working at Baker St, LWC is on Harley St. Literally 10 mins walk. I wasn't really managed that closely, i managed myself pretty much so I just used to slip away from my desk for appts and blood tests etc. I took late lunches for my IUIs and went back to work afterwards! I was lucky in this respect. That and the fact that I wasn't having any major treatment at the time, just straightforward natural cycle IUIs. So, I didn't have to go in for scans or anything. By the time we tried for no.2 and moved to CARE Nott, I was working from home (so nobody ever knew where i was anyway) then stopped working altogether.

I can imagine if you have to travel it's a bit of a pain though. When we had IVF it was fairly predictable when the appts would be, at least we had a few days notice of when collection would be, so i can imagine it would be fairly easy to book the time in advance., like take a week or something. It's tricky with IUI though if you have to travel as you can surge at any point in your cycle. My surges were all over the place once I started trying for real, even after months of having an exact, never changing 28 day cycle. Everything can go haywire once you're in the thick of it!! But, like aimee says, the actual treatment doesnt' take very long so if you're closeby it's manageable. I wouldn't have thought to tell my boss. I had a pay award pending which dragged on and on and, if i recall correctly, i didn't even tell him i was pg until about 18/19 weeks (although, I have to say he did break his leg at a very fortuitous moment for me so he wasn't even around to notice me getting fatter, and fatter - i did get my pay award too!)


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

rosypie 

im glad it wasnt just my cycle that seemed to have stage freight with the monitoring and the like!  i missed a couple of IUIs because i had booked flights and then ovulated when i got back to spain!!  

axx


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hey Aimee and Rosypie,

Thank you both so much- I've learnt more from you both in the last few hours than I have through any internet searches!

We might have problems trying to keep it secret- we're in Somerset and have chosen to use LWC Cardiff, so at least an hour and a half's drive to the clinic, so it won't be possible to just pop out on our lunchbreak unfortunately. Luckily I'm not managed too closely and the women I work with in my office are some of my closest friends, so know what we're about to begin. I just don't want to have to tell them exactly when I'm going for our IUI because I could do without them all watching and waiting in my 2ww and 1st 12 weeks too! We haven't told them that we've got the initial consultation this week and are still saying that we plan to save a bit first and start in January, so hopefully I'll manage to blag a bit and keep them in the delayed picture- ie. when we're going for the actual IUI tell them we're going for blood tests or whatever.

We'll work it out somehow though- and it's just so exciting like Aimee says to be able to take folic acid, pee on sticks and buy pregnancy magazines (won't let myself buy baby books just yet though!)

Thanks so much both of you, I look forward to chatting to you more over the coming months hopefully!

Kat


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay Kat

glad to have helped.  its amazing how kind of 'at sea' you feel to begin with and slowly you pick up all this information so its great to be able to pass it on.

I bought a book called the complete guide to conception and pregancy for lesbians i think ... which although american did help alot to give me an idea of what was going to happen.

only one more sleep till your consultation!!   

aimeex


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hi Aimee,

Thanks, I'll look up that book- I can do with any info I can lay my hands on right now (not just because I'm under-informed, but also because then I feel like I'm doing something towards having a baby, if you see what I mean?! I'm so impatient and reading stuff satitifies my impatience a little bit!)

And yes, it's only one more more sleep till the consultation! That made me laugh because it summed up exactly how I feel!! It's a bit like being a child and waiting for Christmas, isn't it? It's only the beginning of the journey though, and I must keep reminding myself of that really, so I don't get too excited too soon. Did anyone else feel an immense amount of optimisim at this stage? Should I try and stop feeling so optimistic? I worry that I could be setting myself up for a terrible fall as there's every chance it will take a long time to get pregnant. Hmmm.... 

How's your pregnancy going Aimee? Have you had any sickness?


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

Hay Kat

I was singing after our first consultation at LWC it was amazing!  so enjoy it.  youre going to face some hurdles on the way, even if you get pregnant first time lucky!  so i would just enjoy the enjoyable bits!

'Roll with the punches' and 'Make hay when then the sunshines'

as an ex girlfriend used to say to me!

I wish someone  had given me a crystal ball and told me that i WOULD get pregnant because i felt often after my BFNs that maybe i NEVER would and each BFN was really sould destroying.

but obviously as soon as it happens and we got the BFP it all disapeared and it seems like it was so quick ... and really thank god actually i was very very lucky!

Pregnancy is going well, thank you.  i had the 12 week scan yesterday .. a bit early but it was really cute seeing it on the screen.

i have not had M sickness thank goodness.  i have put on LOADS of weight.  eating helps keep the nausea at bay.  I have put on 5kilos already.  

(are you happy about obama?  i am over the joyed!!)

axxxxx


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hi Aimee,

It must be a great feeling when you get that BFP, particularly after a few BFNs. The 2ww wait must be agony- I'll be climbing up the walls when it happens to us! Lucy, my DW, has far more patience than me- she'd be much better at carrying the baby than me on that level- but we always knew it would be me carrying it- at least for our first one anyway! She'll be the voice of reason in our 2ww when I'm analysing every twinge or feeling in my body!

As for Obama- I really, really couldn't be more thrilled! I have to confess to having a tear in my eye this morning when I watched a repeat of his acceptance speach on the news. I just hope that he can live up to the world's expectations.

Aww, your scan must have been exciting! And as for the weight- ah well, what the hell, you're carrying your precious bundle! Mind you, I'm someone who can find a way to excuse my weight gain whatever the situation- lately it's been 'it's winter! We're meant to lay down some weight in the winter to keep us warm!'. Hmmm.... bit worried the LWC tomorrow may tell me that I should lose some weight before starting trying to conceive... so don't listen to me! Lol!

Kat xxx


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

Kat - 

I cried ALL the way to work in the car listening to the radio.  and i agree he has ALOT to live  up to!!

I do know they like you to have a bmi in the 'normal' range for ttc.  Youll have to see what they say.  But i wouldnt let it worry you in and of itself.

Gaby found the 2ww the best bit and for me it was the worst.  She 'knew' on the last one it had worked.  and for some reason she managed to be totally cool calm and collected for the whole TTC process.  she said she knew it would happen eventually and she was 100% supportive the whole way through, as i went up and down the rollercoaster emotionally.  read all the books, weed on sticks, took vitamins, booked flights, called the clinic, etc etc etc.  We really had very different experiences.  She was a rock and very constant while i went up and down.  

Its been a bit the same now im pregnant as the hormones are mental!!   

I have been ratty and short tempered and crying and needing a lot of reassurance.  but luckily for us gabs has been great.  

love ax


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Aimee,

Glad that Gaby has been a rock for you- it's hard when you're so up and down, but it can make a real difference when your partner's feeling more stable. Only problem with me though- I can see myself being on tenter hooks throughout the 2ww and assuming that, because Lucy's not, it's because she doesn't care as much. Stupid because that won't be the case at all, and doubly stupid because I can sit here quite sane (fairly, anyway!) and know that it will happen and still not be able to prevent myself feeling it when the time comes! Oh dear! Maybe I'll surprise myself and manage to stay more stable than I imagine right now! Probably not!

Yeah, and then when you succeed you are then straight into pregnancy hormones! They're right when they say life will never be the same again, aren't they?! How long were you and Gaby trying for before you fell pregnant, if you don't mind me asking? And did you use an anonomous donor or known? 

Kat xxx


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

Kat,

don't get me wrong!!  i did have that 'you don't care as much as me' feeling a few times!!  and i felt resentful sometimes that she didn't have to DO anything.  but over all i could see that it was better for me to have her being not soo emotional about it.

initially we were going to have a friend be our donor.  and we spent 2007 trying to work things out with him.  we actually went to the Bridge clinic for our 1st consultation at easter 2007 but weirdly they never rang us back and we didn't have a good vibe from our consultant.  we tried one home insemination which was a bfn.  when it came to nailing down an agreement between the three of us it kind of fell apart.  it was a whole other emotional journey of that year.  really hard.  but it worked out for the best in the end.

so then we did 3 iuis with LWC this year with unknown donor.  and we were third time lucky.  First one was in march and last one end of august.  i had time off in between to kind of regain emotional equilibrium and also have acupuncture treatments.

axxx


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

The BMI range is usually quite generous i think. I'm pretty sure it was 35 at LWC, and it was definitely 35 at CARE Nott.

It's hard not to get excited after that first consultation. I really ran with that excitement and that 1st BFN was awful. Having said that, I'm not sure a BFN would be any easier to take prepared or not, optimistic or not.

It can be difficult for the partner through ttc and beyond. it's not happening to them and while the prospect of a child is exciting i don't think it's necessarily automatic for them to connect completely with the process at this early stage. E was perfectly supportive and I have no complaints at all but i don't think it was real for her (in the same it was for me since it was my body) until much later. I think it can be helpful to remember it's a big thing for them too and that as non-bio mothers they have no preconceived framework into which they can organise their feelings - if i'm making sense...


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Aimee - thanks for the reassurance that it's not just me that feels that way! And thanks also for sharing your journey with me- weird that the Bridge Clinic didn't get back to you - how odd... but as you say, it sounds like it was for the best in the long run. It's great that you've finally got your BFP, particularly on your third IUI, because I know alot of clinics seem to suggest three cycles of IUI and then if they don't work, reviewing it- so it's good that you didn't need to consider other options (or I assume you didn't?). Were all of your IUI cycles natural, or did you have any medicated cycles?

Rosypie- thanks for telling me about the BMI 35, that's a real weight (ha ha!) off my mind! I've never been a slim person and I struggle so much to keep below a size 16- I'm not saying that I can't lose weight- it's just that I really love cooking (particularly baking unfortunately!) and eating, and I'm really not a great fan of exercise I'm afraid. Unlike my DW who is the complete opposite! I am trying to be more healthy now though and eat plenty of fruit and vegetables and go running, plus take folic acid and other vitamins in preparation.

I think it's also a really important point you make about non-bio mums having no preconceived framework and that it can be difficult for them to connect completely with the conception and early stages of the preganancy. My lovely wife can't wait to be a mum and can't wait for our baby to reach the toddler stage so she can start playing with it and teaching it things, but she feels less excited about the pregnancy and early days of our baby being born, whereas I almost feel the complete oposite... I'm sure things will change a hundred times over in the next year or so though.

Agghhh, so many thoughts going through my mind! Thanks for your time Aimee and Rosypie -you're stars!


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

Rosypie - very succinctly put re the non bio mums.

gaby is a real baby lover though ... she has the real gift with babies, they are very soothed by her.  gaby did get very excited about the first scan!!

Kat - yes all my cycles were unmedicated.  and yes we were thinking we might have to think about 'other options' after our third go if it didnt work.

ax


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

if you're interested, there was a really interesting (and at times heated!) thread on a completely different messageboard _*(here)*_ about being the non-bio mum.

anyway, i'm not trying to be the voice of doom i just think as the bio-mum it's easy to brush over the issue, because it's not nice to think that while you're overjoyed at the arrival of a long awaited child or pregnancy or whatever, it might not be 100% what your DP is feeling. i've found in the long run it's much better to acknowledge the difference and strangely (for us anyway) in doing so it helped us further cement what we were trying to assert - i.e. that we are both equal parents. I guess as opposed to saying that you are equal but one party knowing there is a difference that is not acknowledged... tangent/
xx


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

yes i think its really important to acknowledge the differnce and almost celebrate it.  

i guess its going to be another huge adjustment when LO arrives....

but i know i couldnt do this without gabs.

will check out the thread.... Oh crickey gingerbeer it does get heated on there.  

im sure this will be interesting.

ax


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

aimeegaby said:


> Oh crickey gingerbeer it does get heated on there.


is soooooo does!


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

rosypie - i have read a couple of pages it is interesting.  i think its a good to talk about these things.  i just hope that i wont be like my sis and be so desperate to do everything perfectly and right that i dont leave any room for gabs ... my brother in law regularly gets told he isnt doing thing 'right' ie how my sister wants it done.  

gaby is so much more competent than me and i do worry that i will feel she is a better mummy than me.  but that is silly to say better ....

i wonder how much fathers feel able to discuss the difference in the relationship between them and the mothers and the children.  i think because men and women have it rammed down our throats how different we are from each other its easy then to talk about differences in parenting experiences within these gendered stereotyped terms ....

but for us ground breaking different families we are just trying to work it out.

i was really moved by what edith said in one of her posts about trying to discover her parenting role.  i think because she has ttc herself its different for her.

when i get to the end of that thread i will maybe post.  wish i could get gabs to post but she isnt really into that kind of thing.

ax


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Rosypie and Aimee, 

Just read three of the five pages of the gingerbeer debate and I can see most people's points of view. It is easy for me, as the possible bio-mum, to sit here and feel excited and secure in my role as 'mum', without taking into account how Lucy will feel. We've just had a really long discussion about the gingerbeer thread (how did it get to 7.45pm? We've been talking for over an hour about it!) and we've both acknowledged that there are fundamental differences between being the bio and non-bio mum and that it is easy for me/us to choose not to think about them, as in some senses I could be seen as getting the 'better deal'. I think the truth is, for us, we simply can't know for definate how we'll feel when our baby is conceived and then born. But I agree with you Aimee, that it's difficult for us ground-breaking families because we can't excuse or explain these differences away through gender stereotypes and neither would I want to. Speaking to Lucy she can see that there will be times when she might feel a little out of things and might feel like she isn't acknowledged by others as the 'proper' mum, but I hope that she will never feel like that from inside our relationship. Like someone on the board pointed out, most of us bio-mums wouldn't choose to have these children without our partners, and therefore that partner is equally one half of why that child was conceived and therefore one full parent. 

It's all very complicated and like I say, I guess there are things that we simply can't know until we're at that stage, but I appreciate you raising the issue Rosypie, because I agree that for me to carry on niavely assuming that Lucy as the non-bio mum feels identically to me and just as secure in herself as a parent would be to store up potential problems in our future.

But one thing both Lucy and I agree on is, that for us (at this stage anyway), it isn't about bio or non-bio so much as the one who carries (and therefore felt it kick, experienced labour and can breastfeed, etc- part of the bonding process) and the who didn't carry (and therefore didn't feel it kick, didn't experince labour and can't breastfeed this child and may feel disadvantaged in terms of bonding). I think for us these are the issues that will need to be carefully negiotiated rather than whether the baby is biologically mine or hers... because if we used L's eggs for example, but I carried it, I think the issues of bonding would still be there, even though the issue of biology is not.

I'm so glad that I joined this site because it's really helping us look at the realities of trying to conceive and being lesbian parents rather than just the cosy baby dream that can engulf us all at times, I'm sure! Anyway I must go- we have to be up early and we haven't eaten yet.

K xxx


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## Frinn (Nov 3, 2008)

Hi all,

Just to update you- we had our first consultation at LWC Cardiff yesterday and we've come away feeling really pleased that we've chosen to use them. The whole morning was great and everyone was really considerate and informative. I now need to try and persuade my GP to do all the tests for me so that I don't have to pay for them and then go back to the LWC Cardiff to have a hycosy. But after that's all done- we're ready to start! Our consultant said he couldn't see any reason why we shouldn't be able to start early January, which is great news! We even got to fill in the donor-profiling form yesterday which is excellent!

Thanks for all of your help and support; we can't wait to start the process!

Kat xx


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Hi,

Just wanted to say   on taking your first steps on the TTC rollrcoaster and  ! 

We have used the LWC in London, since starting our journey in Nov 2004 and can say they have been very supportive, friendly and professional through out! 

We plan to start our 2nd TTC journey with DP around the boys 1st  , all going well, like you we decided to start with me, as I'm older!!

A little advice, re: hycosy they tell you its only a bit uncomfortable! This is not the experience I had I was in agony, so ask for pain relief, I stupidly didn't because I thought I'd have to stay longer and just wanted to go home and then nearly pasted out on the tube!  

I might be one of the few, I have no idea if this is normal, I wasn't aware of FF at the time and had no one to ask!

 and   CLP


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## jo36 (Aug 12, 2008)

Hi Guys

I haven't written on any threads for ages now, but if you can remember my partner and I were pondering over the idea of trying for baby #2. I've been reading with keen interest but haven't replied to anything!! Just wanted to fill you in on what's been going on for us... but first I just wanted to say how much I agree with the hycosy advice as I too was in total agony whilst having the procedure. So much so that I have already said I will never have another one unless they knock me out! I'd rather go through child birth a hundred times! But I do think different people react to it differently as the girl who went in before me hardly felt a thing! Or maybe it's a timing thing where if it's done close to ovulation the cervix is slightly open and much softer. Not sure if it makes any difference but kind of makes sense to me!!

My news...after months of still being indecisive on TTC again and wasting precious months of egg supply (!!!) we have now got an appointment to see our previous consultant at Bath to at least have a chat to see what my odds are on getting pregnant again with our saved sibling sperm. Think the odds are stacked against us quite a bit more as I'll be almost 37 once the appt comes round (Jan 2009); I only have one ovary now; my AF has decided to become totally erratic and all over the place; and our saved sibling sperm is a bit aged now at 5 yrs old! Hopefully they will run a few tests to at least give us a clue on what my hormone levels are at. Depending on what the outcome is hopefully we can start to try again or at least move on and get on with our lives. I feel in limbo not knowing - so would rather just know one way or another.

We've also decided to have a CP, after almost 9 years!!! Our DD who is now 4, kept asking when we were getting married!! And could she wear a pretty dress! We told my parents this evening over a Sunday roast - and they were over the moon! My stepdad told my DD that she would be the prettiest girl there and she turned around and said "No, Mummy will be." How gorgeous is that!!

Aimee - belated congrats on the pregnancy! Sounds like things are going really well for you! Well done.

Kat - Good luck on your TTC journey. Like you I couldn't wait to get started and taking those vits!! Have to admit I was looking at the folic acid the other day. Put it in my shopping basket but promptly took it out again knowing full well it was far too soon...my first appt isn't for another 2 months!!! Have to remind myself that I need to keep a lid on things and not get too carried away with excitment!!

Cutelittlepumpkin - like you I hadn't found FF when we TTC first time so I had no idea about the hycosy!! If only I knew about FF way back in 2003/2004!! Would defo asked for sedation!!! That would have put a stop to all the tears.  

Sorry for such a long message, only wanted to pop along and say Hi again but I have managed to write an essay. I'm good at that.

Jo x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

kat - hoorah for your first appointment and good luck with the GP.

Jo and cuttielittlepumpkin - HI and congrats on starting your next round of tx.  

are you all going to post on the other thread when you are near to your treatment dates?  its quite chatty on that thread.

ax


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

cuttiepie - sorry been a bit thick!! your twins are still in the tummy!!  not long to go from your ticker though ... how exciting.  but you wont be starting tx for sibs for a while yet!!


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Hi Aimeegaby,

They certainly are! They kept me awake last night, taking it in turns to have a good ole kick!     Our boys are due in feb, but DP is going to start FET with my embies just after their 1st birthday!  It took us 5 years to reach this point so we don't want to leave starting again too long just in case! We might have changed our mind by the time we have two toddlers though, lol!  

By the way congrats on your pregnancy! How you feeling? I was as sick as a dog until 16-17 wks!

CLP


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

ahhh they are coming in Feb ... will they be Pices?

luckily i havent been sick.  phew ... although feeling a tad nauseaus ... i seem to be able to eat through it, or eat to keep it at bay which means i have already gained a stone in weight!!  

may i ask why your partner will use your eggs?  is it cos they are there?

axxx


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Aimee

My consultant has said because its twins I won't be allowed to go past Feb 13th (38 wks), so I think that makes them Aquarius?!

There are a few of reasons really why DP will use my embies -

1) DP has family hx of Diabetes, Epilepsy and Cerebral Vacsulitis - A brain condition which can sometimes be fatal!

2) We have 15 snow babies, seem silly not to use them!

3) DP is not worried about being genetically related!

4) FET is much more straight forward and cheaper than fresh cycle! Which will be a bonus with two small children!

If it makes you feel any better I've gained 25lbs so far!

CLP


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

cutielittlepumpkin!

well all of them sound like very good reasons!  i was being nosey.   hope you dont mind.

its great and really interesting how people make their families isnt it?

i 'came out' to my midwife at my first appointment and asked her 'if they might have any problems with it' and she said 'no why?' ... unfortunately Gibraltar where i work and am officially resident doesnt have any legal status for gay couples so gabs wont be able to have any legal status as a parent unlike if we lived in england.  Just went to ask in the passport office and births deaths and marriages place what the process was there.  and told them my baby wouldnt have a father as it was donor concieved and i had a female partner.  she did quite well at hidng her suprise but then refered to me as not having a partner ... i wasnt quick enough to correct her.  Although people here have been really positive and supportive and congratulatory i guess trying to fit our family into the legal and beauracratic system might be quite hard at times.  but i guess lots of people must have that even in the uk.

aimeex


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Aimee

I don't mind at all, I'm a very open person! Our midwife was more interested in it being twins than who my partner was, although as my DP works in paediatrics the midwife did comment on how she would know what she was doing, etc!

Is a shame Gaby can't be a legal parent!   But you both know who the parents are, and thats what matters!  

Just a random question now, are the monkeys still on Gibraltar? We were there last year to recoup after my last m/c, for a little holiday and sign a pettition to save them! It would be so sad if they were culled!  

Well we are off to our first twin club in an hour! Is quite exciting, also will be meeting Twinmummy (see LBGT family page) there for the first time, how strange is that they are also a same-sex couple with twin boys through LWC and they only live a couple of miles away!   Madness!

CLP


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

oooh that is exciting you are meeting twinmummy send her my love.  i have chatted to her on the other thread.

well thats great your dp works in peadatrics ... or does she get stressed cos she knows too much?  they say medics make bad patients dont they?  not that being pregnant is really being ill ... but i guess submitting to another dr's judgment.

yes the main thing is that gabs and i know who the parents are.  and all of our families and friends will also not make any kind of distinction.  and that is the main thing.

dont worry the monkeys are still here and i didnt think in any danger.  

axxxx


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## cutelittlepumpkin (Nov 1, 2007)

Sorry, I should have said we will both be bad pts, I'm a nurse (on an adult ward) and DP is a health care assistant (on the kids ward)! And I think a little knowledge can be very scary! Plus working in the hospital you hear all the horror stories!  

Yay for the monkeys   we DP will be chuffed, we met them on her b'day!

Anyway must dash, gotta get DP up, she was working last night, or we will be late for twin club!

CLP


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