# and so it starts



## lisasStars (Oct 26, 2009)

my referal letter has come through to see a consultant to see if they will agree to nhs funding for us to have a surrogate host with ivf.

I am so scared.

I am grieving so much for my two angel children, Phoebe Mae and Joseph, it is hard to believe that we may get someone to carry our baby for us.

I am struggling to get through each day and need the hope of a living child. I cant bare life as it currently is. this is hell.

What if the nhs wont help fund the ivf? how on earth can we pay £15,000 expenses plus nearly £6,000 a month for ivf?

I am scared my husband is going to say no if it looks like it will financially ruin us.

I would happily get pregnant again and risk my life (I have had 3 critical life threatening placental abruptions) but my husband says he will NEVER get me pregnant again, not after burying Phoebe and Joseph   )

Do you think the nhs will agree to funding host ivf? Do they usually agree if you have lost so many babies?

  what a frightening journey   

Lis


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## lisasStars (Oct 26, 2009)

oops meant to be £15,000 expenses


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## Val123 (Jan 24, 2009)

Lis - £15,000 is the maximum - there are lots of surrogates whose expenes are a much lower rate than that - from my personal experience they are mostly around the £10,000-£12,000 mark and remember they are usually paid in monthly instalments and not one big lump which spreads the expense for you.  If the cost is a real issue than you might be prepared to consider a straight surrogate - which takes the IVF costs out of the equation - but I know the drive to have your own biological child if at all possible will be strong.

I really feel for you (((hugs))) and hope that you get the funding you need to enable you to do host surrogacy on the NHS.  Good Luck

Val x


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## lisasStars (Oct 26, 2009)

woooo whats a straight surrogate? (sorry)


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## missmarple (Jul 23, 2009)

Hi lisa's - a straight surrogate uses her own eggs rather than yours. It's easier and drug free on the upside but as Val said the downside is it will not be biologically your child.  

I am sorry I have no idea if the NHS will help, but it would be great for you if they did.  Also like Val says at least the cost is spread and not in one big wallop.


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## luski (Jan 4, 2004)

Just wanted 2 say we r doing straight surrogacy & expences around the £4000 mark.

    It helps that she isn't working at the min so that has saved alot on the expences.


  Tammy


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Luski wishing you loads of luck, where did you get introduced to your surrogate mum from?
L x


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## luski (Jan 4, 2004)

We started chattin on an american website www.surromumsonline.com 

  got lots of info on there to but we met on www.surrogatefinder.com & 

  she lives bout a 45min drive from us norm c each other every wk & talk 

  on ******** everyday  

/links


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

The NHS is definitely a postcode lottery.

It helps if you or your husband haven't got any children from previous marriages/ relationships or the marriage between you both, because they will probably say no if there is, I think it is getting harder and harder with the NHS as time goes on 

Let us know how you get on
Jo
x x


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