# Additional training



## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi everyone, i wondered if anyone had done any additional training courses during the process or after being matched/placed? My SW sent me a link for a course; 'Understanding Attachment and Trauma' training event. It's a reduced rate & as I'm off work that day I think it would be worth going on. 

It's ran by a company called Inspired Foundations.

Wondered if anyone had experience of their events?

Thanks x


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

That's sounds a good one. I've been sent ones to do with IT but haven't gone because we weren't leaving our little man until recently and I feel I'm pretty up to date on IT and children because of my job. I would love to go to one on attachment and trauma. I do guest lecturing on attachment, trauma and the impact on early education so I would find it fascinating. If you go I would like to know how it goes.


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

If you can go I would, not only for the training but it's always good to meet other adopters/prospective adopters.

Might look it up myself.


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Is that the one in Glasgow? If so I am also going and really looking forward to it xx


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi, no it's in Telford in March but I had a quick look on their website and there are a few others scheduled in the West Midlands for the coming months x


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

I have one on the 20th March - sounds very similar x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi AD,

Who's the one running the one in Glasgow in March? Sounds very interesting.
Gx


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/early-years-attachment-and-trauma-conference-featuring-dr-suzanne-zeedyk-tickets-10066678707


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

I hope that link works ok xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Link worked great - I see it's sold out now too. Anne Trevarrow is really good.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi everyone, just a bit of an update as I went on the training day yesterday. I did find it interesting, some of it was lightly covered in prep but this went from the impact of trauma in the womb (could be as simple as BM being stressed producing high levels of cortisol meaning the baby will be primed for stress etc). 

In summary it then went into brain development, how it develops from the bottom up & the first bit to develop is the area for flight/fight response & last to develop is the reasoning part. It explained how in children who've experienced trauma the flight/fight part can be over sensitive, where as reasoning is underdeveloped & so that helps to understand why you may see what appears to be over reactions to things - instead of reasoning they fight/flight. Hope that makes sense.

It's a good way to explain to close family who try but can't understand why an infant may have issues in the future "because they won't remember anything."

There was more on brain development as a child grows & then strategies to deal with behaviours that may present.

What I took most from the course was what attachment actually is. The word gets used so much in adoption & I thought I understood - but I think it gets confused with 'bonding' & 'love' & used in the wrong context. I now understand what attachment is & attachment styles.

If anyone gets chance to go on a similar course I would recommend it


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi, I did parenting your incredible child which was great and gives good advise on how to deal with certain situations.  Next week I am on toddler development workshop, not to sure what this will be like but any advise is greatly recieved so looking forward to it.


Both were recommended to us by our sw and free as run by our la.


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

mafergal said:


> What I took most from the course was what attachment actually is. The word gets used so much in adoption & I thought I understood - but I think it gets confused with 'bonding' & 'love' & used in the wrong context.


This is so completely true. I find this isn't helped by children's social workers, who peddle a load of rubbish about how attachment will transfer between f/c and adopters during intros along with a huge amount of other complete rubbish. Attachment and attachment styles/disorders are something not many social workers understand and as a result lots of adopters don't understand either until they really are faced with a lot of problems and start looking for answers. I think it leads to people making a lot of well meaning mistakes in the early stages of placement - I know we made huge mistakes and with the benefit of hindsight and a lot more knowledge I would do things so much differently if I could do it again.

The brain development stuff is scary, but also good to know. I went into my old work today. I had Bladelet with me and he was as adorable as ever, although he is definitely not problem free. She asked how my daughter was, and I said she's doing very well compared to six months ago, wonderful, lovely etc, but touched on her having attachment problems and some difficulties when the dreadful phrase "settled" was mentioned. I'm not sure Wyxling will ever be called settled. I got the dreaded reply of "surely she doesn't remember anything from before she was with you now". How to explain to someone, without going into too much detail that you don't want them to have, why not remembering doesn't mean no problems. It's really tough.

In the end I decided as it was someone I don't especially get one with, I wouldn't bother, but I really wish I could find something to help people "get it". The only thing I have that most people do get is quite confrontational, I think, which is to say how long do you think it would have taken your child to "settle" if at 18 months/10 months whatever age they had moved to live with someone they'd only met a week before, and never seen you again? How long would it take them to feel completely secure again?

Glad you found the course useful.

Wyxie xx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Wyxie, that is so very true and it's something we are facing now. Little man presents very well indeed. He is charming, funny, outgoing and on the surface appears to love people and visitors. He never appears distressed when meeting omeone new, infact he becomes this delightful bottle of pop whose job it is to entertain and make people smile. Only dh and I can recognise the signs that he isn't truly happy and he is perferming. People say we re over reacting but we know our lo. When new people come to the house in the afternoons, that evening he becomes very distressed and unsettled and needs tremendous reassuring again people say he could never remember what he wants through at 9 months - rubbish, he knows. Like you say - how would their children react if at 9 months they lost everything and everyone they had ever known. 

Mafergal, thanks so much for your pm. I have enjoyed finding out about your course. I'm obsessed with early brain development and I think it should be made a compulsory part of anti-natal treatment and so much more needs to be done within the world of adoption. Anyone with  children whether that be teaching, parenting etc should be made aware of the impact they can have. And you are so right regarding mid-understanding about attachment. So often well intentional sw say after intros that the lo is attached - utter rubbish.

Well enough of me on my soap box lol


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