# Hi Everyone ... New to FF...In need of a big hug :(



## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi girls/guys
i joined FF a couple of days ago as it got to a point where i just couldnt cope on my own anymore.
So many of friends work colleagues and relatives are have babies and its so hard to watch!! especially when DF sister started trying after us and within 2 months became pg!!

The last couple of months i have been constantly thinking pregnancies and babies and finding it hard that even though me and DF have been ttc for 16 months we stil have no luck 
My DF and myself have been going through tests since june in which DF tests are normal and i have cysts on my ovaries but not pcos.

My AF has just started regulating after irregular AF for 14 months after stopping the pill. 
This month i was feeling so positive until i decided not to wait for AF due date and did a test this morning 3 days before AF was due...and it came back  !!   . it is early days but im getting AF cramps and im starting to loose faith.

Im due a laparoscopy in november which i cant wait to have.
Anyone in the similar situation and if had a laparoscopy...if it was normal what was the next step for you?? 
Baby dust to all 
xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

The TTC journey is hard but the positive hope in the end will hopefully be it was worth it. I think the hardest part of my journey was the first year...not having an explanation. Then once I was diagnosed with fibroids it mad me more positive that once I had surgery it wouldnt be a problem. 4 weeks post op and feeling quite optomistic (now lol). 

This is a great place to vent or find answers. Good luck x


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi journey99,

thanks for your reply, i think youre right with not having an explanation. Especially for me being 21 the doctor says i should be at the highest point of fertility and yet i am still not successful. Does make me think that something isnt right and its just a long wait all the time. 

I hope that everything goes well for you now you have had your op!!

Since joining and reading others stories and some being successful even against the odds has lifted my spirits and i know it wont be the end of the road for me yet and to know im not alone on this journey of ttc  

xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

I really do believe unexplained infertility has to be worse than having "issues". At least with a known issue the doctors can attempt to "fix" it. My BFF had unexplained infertility for 4 years. Not a single thing they could find wrong with either of them. They decided to try IVF and first try they fell pregnant with twins! It helps to keep me positive that it will happen for us. 

Have you used OPKs to check if you are ovulating and if you are DTD at the right time in your cycle? I hope I don't offend by asking that but you would be surprised how many people just assume they ovulate on CD 14. I O on CD16. Another friend fell pregnant having only having sex on CD5 (she assumed you could only get pregnant around CD 14..SURPRISE lol).


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

i have trouble predicting when im ovulating because i have irregular periods, ranging from 23 days to 40 days. they have starting regulating the last 2 months to 36, so i thought great i should have a rough idea of when i should be ovulating, but funnily enough AF decided to suprise me and paid a visit today when i was due saturday  

I have tried opk but the most i have had is a tiny faint line i havent had a proper positive as such. 
Me and my DF try and have BMS every other night but obv hasnt really worked lol.

Im hopng this laparoscopy will come back ok, then maybe go on clomid and hopefully that might work...but who knows only time could tell.

Its good to hear success stories just makes your own that little bit easier
baby dust to you 
xXx


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## VEC (May 29, 2007)

Jess! FF is a lifeline for those seeking support, information and friendship whilst going through fertility issues. Fellow FF members are fantastic pressure valves when family, friends, doctors and partners often just don't "get" what you're going through. It has held my hand throughout treatment and I've made some great friends and gained a vast amount of knowledge, both of which are key factors in at least maintaining some level of sanity!

I'm sorry to read that you've been trying without success for a while. It must be so frustrating not having an explanation, and I hope that your tests help in some way. Actually, more I hope that you get pregnant before your lap in November.    I must admit, when I came off the pill at about your age, I took about two years for my periods to stabilize themselves, and that in itself is just stressful as well. Instead of using OPKs, have you tried temperature charting? Personally I think it is a much more certain way of knowing if and when you have ovulated - this method tells you AFTER you've ovulated, which isn't much help if you are ttc, but if you read the explanation of it in Toni Weschler's book Taking Charge of Your Fertility (get it from the library) you'll see she also gives some great advice about how to know in advance when you are ovulating.

Have a look around the site, post wherever you like, and make yourself at home. Whatever your circumstances, there will be someone who is going through a similar situation and who can offer support and information.

I've added some links which you may find helpful:

*Unexplained*  CLICK HERE

*Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Waiting to start/TTC ~ *CLICK HERE

*Tubal factors ~ * CLICK HERE

*Complementary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *International/Regional boards*. This is especially useful for finding people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

*What Every New Member Needs to Know ~ *CLICK HERE

*Site Guidelines ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here. 
*Newbie chat ~ *CLICK HERE

Post here with any more questions, or on any other part of the site - there will be lovely people ready to offer friendship, hugs and support to keep you going through the ups and downs and you'll quickly feel at home.

Good luck, hon, I hope that you get answers to your questions very soon.   

Martha X


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## lizmiller (Sep 28, 2011)

Hi, I'm new to FF too.  I haven't really talked to anyone about my fertility problems - my family don't even know.  I just think that they wouldn't understand how I feel or what I'm going through,


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

Hi Liz!  We didn't tell anyone we were TTC either. I told my best friend about 6 months in and told my Mom a year and a half in. I only ended up telling my mom when I was diagnosed with Fibroids bc I knew I would need surgery. For me I didn't want to tell people bc I didn't want people constantly asking if I was pregnant yet.  I figured if it took a while I would end up getting arrested for pummelling someone for asking that again! Even now only our family know. They are good and don't ask. They ask how I am doing(post op). It's nice they put the focus on me and not the fact we still don't have a baby. 

I have to say it was a relief finally telling someone. This website has also really helped. It's nice to know other people going through the same struggles as you. To know the way you feel is natural.  To give you hope and inspire you. 

It's up to you if you decide to tell close friends and family. You may be amazed how supportive they can be.  But really it's in your own time and you need to set ground rules of what you want from them and what you don't. x


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi martha! thanks for your reply the advice is really helpful. I have though about tracking my temperature each day but i didnt want to start obsessing everyday with testing....but saying that i keep thinking about ttc so i suppose it wouldnt make much of a difference   I think i will have to give it a go.....Any suggestions on a decent temperature monitor?? 

Hi Liz, Ive found it hard to talk to people about trouble ttc...especially at work because of my age and i work with older people, they sometimes think im too young, for example when i got a house and mortgage with my DF who is 31 (me 21) they questioned whether i was making the right decision as im only 21. They were probably only looking out for me but I still find it hard discussing these sort of issues.

My mum knows alot about whats going on and she has been so supportive, but i needed someone to talk to who understood how i feel and who is going through the same thing which is how i found FF and it has been a life saver. 

xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

I would try the temping. It will help put your mind at ease to know if you are ovulating or not. If you have an iPhone there are apps you can track your temps. I bought a BBT(basal body temp) thermometer from amazon for about £5 and works great. You could also buy about 50 OPKs for around £7 from eBay. They are a bit more fiddly in the you pee in a cup and place the test striping for a minute then leave it out for a couple minutes to wait for a reading. But then you can test every day from the day your period ends until you get a surge or your period comes. It would be quite useful in addition with your temping. It may seem like a lot but it's definitely not obsessing. You need to know if you are actually ovulating.  If you aren't you will feel so relieved and know the dr can help you ovulate. If you are then you know when to time sex to maximise your chances. We only have about a 20% chance of falling pregnant each month...and that's the odds for a healthy couple with no fertility problems. I'm not sure how they would do a progesterone test for you given your irregular cycle. Have they done the day 21 blood tests yet?


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

Hi girl,
Reading your story and yes, you are def not alone. Altho of ppl in the same boat. I had a laparoscopy last week due to 2 large cysts that needed to be removed. At the same time they did dye on my tubes. Apparently my tubes are completely blocked and my best way forward is IVF. Seeing doc next week for a chat. i am going private with this, cant wait any longer... I have been told tho that my large cysts are not the cause of not being able to get pregnant. It so normal to have cyst. Most females have them without even knowing, they just flushes out with your monthlys. However, mine got very large and caused me sooo much pain. Glad  they found my problem tho, how sad it is, but at least now I can get the ball rolling and just hope for the best
xx


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## 7november (May 18, 2011)

Hi Reach, 
It can be very stressful when every month u think this might be the lucky month, and then the witch shows her face. welcome to fertility friends. it is not just reassuring that there are many couples in similar situation but also a great platform to discuss your fears , anxieties and sort of destress.
I f it helps I was on pills for ages, got pregnant first month I stooped taking it, miscarriage at 11 eeeks, pregnant month after , dd 4 years old now.. thought it should be easy as last time but have been ttc for nearly 3 years, no luck alll tests came back normal. had laproscopy and hysteroscopy all fine. decided to do IUI ,  1st one bfn, 2nd time around , now nearly 9 weeks pregnant but having bleeding/spotting for last 2 weeks...     little bean to stick.
All I am trying to say is its a rollercoaster ride, everyday you will vary from ups and down, but hun have faith in yourself it will work. your age is definately on your side. Unexplained fertility is a very common problem, we all on this site have been through a lot and am sure all your questions - someone should be able to advise you. 
I would suggest get some ovulation tests - do it this month and as sson as you any line, its time for b.d, you have done the right thing by getting investigations, so you are already one step forward, feel positive...and any questions just ask... good luck dear..


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi everyone thanks for all your replies  
journey99: thanks ill get a temp off amazon today i think   , i have got them ovulating strips off ebay already and everytime i use them the most iv ever got is a faint line...also i find it hard with work to test everyday the same time etc...so maybe temping would be easier. I have had my bloods taken the 3 day bloods was normal...dont know about the 21 day because when i had my fertility meeting they didnt have the results back so will have to wait until the next meeting to find out as i rung and they couldnt give me results over the phone. 

Jellyburchnall: sorry to hear about your tubes....i cant wait for mine to come round in november...i already know i have a few cysts on both now and one ovary larger than the other...whatever that means??...im hoping that it will come back clear but on the other hand if there was a problem that atleast they would have something to fix!!

7november: i have found FF so helpful the last week reading others stories are so inspiring. im      for you that your are successful with this little one !! fingers crossed xxx 

im definately trying anything i can this month so fingers crossed ladies!!      

baby dust to all 
xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

OPKs only require you to use your first pee of the morning so by far way easier than temping as it doesn't matter when you wake up. Temping needs to be done at the same time everyday when you wake up. You need to keep the thermometer on the bed side table and try not to move or talk before as the most accurate result is your waking temperature. If you get up and start moving around first it will increase your temp.


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

oh ok ...with the instructions i got on the opk it says its better later in the day between 10 and 8...but hey ill give it a go every morning even when i get up for work at 5 lol worth a go to see if theres any results...ill prob try the temp thing aswell as it will be worth it in the end  

x x x


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

Really it said that? I've always thought first morning pee will have the highest concentration. Maybe I'm wrong (anyone reading help?).  Hmm now I can't remember when I did mine. I thought I used morning pee but now I'm vaguely remembering doing it before dinner every day. I don't have any OPKs to check what it said. Maybe I'm confused with poas?! Lol 

I really do recommend trying both. I only did for about 3 months and was happy that I O the same time each month. That and the dr told me I had fibroids and couldn't get pregnant without having them removed. 

Hope you have a lovely weekend! Enjoy this amazing weather we've been having x


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

im just reading through the information leaflet and it says not to use first morning sample as LH is synthesized in the body early in morning, it wont show up until later in the day. the best time is between and 8 apparently, i could do it when i get home at 8 i suppose as i do 12 hour shifts 7 til 8  ;  

well ill give it a go ill test at 8pm every night and see what happens.

have a lovely weekend and enjoy the heatwave.....im having a bbq with the DF on sunday yum yum  

xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

Yeah I definitely had a blonde moment lol. I do remember doing it every night when I got home from work   

Mmm BBQ enjoy


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi girls,

Got my basal body temp themometer, concieve plus and ovulation tests delivered today woohoo   

Im really feeling positive about this concieve plus stuff the logic behind it makes sense and as my DF lil swimmers are average it may be they need a little bit of assistance...

So it may work may not but atleast im trying all i can this month and if unsucessful i have my laparoscopy next month which may bring to light our problems.    

baby dust to all 
xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

We'd used conceive plus for months before I found out I had fibroids. If anything it makes things feel nice


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

lol well if it makes things nicer at least its something!! haha ...well we can give it a go this month and maybe find things out next month so atleast its not long now to find out if everything is ok or not...

Not really sure which is better finding out everything is ok and carry on ttc or finding out something is wrong for them to fix ...argh hate waiting and not knowing!!!  

xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

I hate the waiting and the not knowing!! 

When I was first diagnosed with fibroids I was told that's why I couldn't get pregnant by my GP. Then my next appt the registrar told me they weren't that big and to carry on TTC.  When I saw the consultant he told me they were huge and plenty so no chance of falling pregnant until they were removed.  He then told me once removed he was positive I could conceive either naturally or assisted. I have to say despite the run around it was better knowing the problem and there was a fix. 

Now I'm impatient waiting for my HSG and to speak to the consultant about my surgery(he never saw me again after surgery).  I'm a researcher so it's frustrating me I can't research anything as I don't know if there is anything to research yet  .


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Oh dear what a mess around for you and how frustrating   I hope ours isnt going to be complicated   

It would be good if we have a problem but only if they can actually fix it ...if they cant and ivf is the only option...that could mean a lot more waiting...as im only 21 i dont know the age i have to be for further fertllity treatment  

xXx


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## Journey99 (Jul 23, 2011)

Most PCT age requirements are 23 but I saw a lady on here who said hers is 30.

I'm sure you won't have the run around I did and fingers crossed everything will be just fine x


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

I had a letter come through today for a pre assessment appointment for the 3rd november  prior to my laparoscopy on the 15 of november...ahh its really happening,

I know its not too much of a big thing but its scary having to under anesthetic   

xXx


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

Reach4theStarz - don't be scared hun, so many ppl has done it   and just think why you are doing it  
Some ppl recover quickly after, some takes a bit longer. Mine was awful, sorry to say that, but I had 2 cysts removed so was a little different. Must feel so nice getting on with things!! I need IVF and cant wait to get started. Got an NHS appointment next week for a general chat and what more tests I need before IVF, but have also got an appointment with a private nurse next week, as think waiting list on NHS is a little bit longer than I would like on IVF. Been told that I am a great candidate for IVF, healthy, right age, reg periods, ovulate reg.. so that is great news.
See, we all get there at some point or another  
xjellyx


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi jelly thanks for the reply. Im so pleased things are on the way hopefully will solve things 
 that the ivf goes well for you!

Im sure ill be fine with the laparoscopy its just the anxious wait

x x x


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

Hi girls,

Just thought i would keep you updated, i had my laparoscopy and dye yesterday, being the first time i have ever had a operation and general anasthetic. Well some good news!! no tubes blocked which is great so now waiting for a follow up appointment in a months time to discuss the next step.

For those who are going through the same and not had G.A before etc....the thought and waiting is worse than the actual procedure. They had rihanna we found love playing as i came too and i started singing to it while still out of it which made the nurse chuckle   

Hope you are all well keep the chins up!!  

baby dust to all 
xXx


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

Hey girl, happy for you   see wantsnt that big of a deal hey  
I had my tubes out last week so had to go *under* again, but this time it was so much easier, and havent been in pain at all, just sore.  
Well done girly, and great news re your tubes!!! Must be such relief  
xxxxx


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

hi jellyburchnall,

thank you   big relief indeed and not as bad as i thought!! just another wait for the next step.

hope all goes well for you sorry to hear you have to have yours taken out   but   thinking and hopefully ivf will bring you your dream  

xxxx


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

yes, just think it was better out then in lol. I hope you get some news soon on way forward and when  
xxx


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

OMG girls.....im completely shocked right now ....last couple of days been peeing like crazy...someone from work who also has fertility probs and starting IVF soon was like your not pg are you??

i wass like no way am i....checked when i was meant to be due the dreaded aunt flo....well 2 days over...

did a test yesturday morining very faint but defo a line there....couldnt really believe it so thought no way will do one this morning 

 !!!!! still very shocked and overwelmed as out of all the months january was the craziest due to lots of night etc...still expecting my period to show but nothing as of yet...very strange feeling!!!

and i was due my IVF meeting on tuesday to see if we would get funding?!!?

just had to share with you all 

hope all is well


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

OMG!!! fab news hun!!!!! soooooooooooo happy for you!!!!!!!!!!! sending you loads of  
xxxxxxxxx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Congratulations!!!

What an amazing update to this post


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## ★~Reach4theStarz~★ (Sep 24, 2011)

thanks sooo much girls...still havent got my head round it yet...

constantly got this knot in my stomach like you get when nervous...i think im just anxious that at some point in my 50 times of going for a pee that ill see that dreaded aunt flo!! 

and again thankyou all for your support...couldnt of got through the most difficult last 6 months without you all!!!

lots of baby dust to all
xxxx


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## 7november (May 18, 2011)

congrates...       ,      its such a great news.....


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