# The Adoption Chat Thread 2011 Part 2



## Boggy

New Home Ladies   

Also just a wee reminder that we do have a post-placement board for those of you who have children placed  

PM Chux  for access, or let me or Bop know and we'll try to sort it out  

Bx


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## siheilwli

Quick post to keep on the list. Been allocated a SW last week. HS starts in a week! 
Hope everyone's well.


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## Maccer

Good luck Siheilwli, we have our first HS visit on 13th June 2011.

Hope everyone is keeping well, sorry I haven't been on here much lately.

Maccer x


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## popsi

good luck everyone...dreams do come true x


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## galaxy girl

Having a busy but fun weekend.. two is soooo much more work than it was with just the baby - maybe its cause they are so close in age ( 2 and 8 months) - will be so sad to see them go tomorrow evening. But first have to cope for the day without DH - who's working. Fun fun....


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## sweets x

Hiya peeps. Just marking page. Hop .everyone is well.  x


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## KG81

Hello!
Just marking the new page  
Karen x


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## liveinhope

Book marking the page.  Dont want to lose you all   Not going to be around for few days as off to Spain!
See you all soon
xx


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## Anjelissa

Evening all,

Also just marking the page   
I like to keep up with how everyone is doing.

Lots of luck to everyone whatever stage you are at. 
As Popsi said, and I'll 2nd that, dreams do come true    

Love Anj x


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## AnneS

Morning all,

just marking the new thread. Good to see so many people on here. I am new-ish here   .

Quick question - I just posted on the thread I previously started (domestic v ICA) and basically DH and I decided to go for the domestic route.
Now we will have to wait to hear whether we will get a place on the August prep course. This will be 5 weeks. How long will we wait after the end of the course until home study starts? We want to go on holidays in November (originally in September, but would have clashed with prep course).

Irishlady - maybe you could help please? I believe you waited a bit, didn't you? Has your has started yet? Hope it goes     

Bop - hi there, Have you settled in the new place yet?

Have a good week everyone.

C Anne


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## sweets x

Morning peeps. 
Typical bank holiday weather. 

Anne- we were quite quick starting home study, finished prep training on 2nd August. and started home study 20th September. 

Anj- hope your all doing well xx

Liveinhope- hope you enjoy Spain. 

Maccer- roll on the 13th, you excited x

Siheilwli- good luck for home study.  

GG- hope today goes ok. 

Boggy, Popsi, and Karen- hi xx

Well, we have finally got the girls rooms finished  
Is getting closer, only 60 sleeps now till we meet them lol. 
Did have a little wobble (nerves me thinks) that I can't do all this and be the mummy the girls need. After talking with dh, family and you guys on here am back on route to parenthood   thankyou. Would be lost without this site at times. 
Enjoy your day off. 
Take care
Sweets x x


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## Guest

Hi all

Well we're in - still feels like a holiday home but kids do a school taster later and start properly on Wednesday.  

Just exploring atm and finding our feet.  

This afternoon is doctors, dentists etc....

Bop


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## Maccer

Hi All,

Anne - we were told it would take about two months until we started homestudy and they were spot on, we completed our prep course in the middle of April and we are due to start homestudy 13th June.

Sweets - I am excited but very apprehensive too, heard too many horror stories about SW stopping the whole adoption process during homestudy. I know I shouldn't think like this but I am hoping that after the 1st session I will be a little more at ease. Well done on getting the rooms all sorted, I bet you are excited, I really am so thrilled for you and your DH, you must def keep us informed on how its all going.

Anj - Hope you are keeping well?

GG - Thinking of you today. x

Bop - Hope the school taster goes well.

To everyone else - Hi, I haven't been on these boards much lately but I intend to be. We begin our Homestudy on 13th June 2011, so will need all your help & advice.

Have a good week.

Maccer x


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## galaxy girl

Thanks Maccer - glad to see you back posting again and that home study is starting soon. 

Bop- exciting stuff. glad move progressing. hope wee ones like school. 

Anne - our home study started 4 monthe after prep course - think summer holidays held things up - we started in sept and had arranged a holiday for end sept - it was only for a week so didn't effect things at all.

well today went well - house is so quiet now they've gone.... but getting more respite with wee man in july...so looking forward to that.


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## Irishlady

Hi   

AnneS - we finished prep on 30th March and started home study on 26th May. I thought it was a long time but was told by social worker that this is quite quick and definitely quicker than things have been in the past.  The team has grown which has resulted in home study starting more quickly.  They also want to try and start everyone from our prep group about the same time. When we met last week we have got dates in the diary until end of July and have our next one tomorrow. Have homework to still finish off so better get on!!

Liveinhope - enjoy Spain!

Sweets - hope the 60 sleeps fly by! Must be so exciting 

Bop - hope school goes well!

Maccer - I am only a couple of weeks ahead of you but feel free to ask away about home study.

Right better get on with finishing homework   

xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Anne we finished our prep course at the end of Nov and HS started the end of Dec but again everyone is different there were couples on our prep course who started the homestudy between the 2 prep course sessions! Sure they will understand and can work round a holiday we didn't have weekly visits, we kind of had 3 visits very close and then had almost 3 weeks before we had anymore so don't think it will be a major issue. 

Popsi and Anj thanks girls you have both been such a strength to me thanks xx

Hope everyone else is ok xx


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## hollie2

hi

my husband and I have our first date for HS starting on 13th June as well.  excited but nervous as well.  its nice that there will be a few people about the same stage

J
x


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## Arrows

Well we're awaiting a SW to be able to start homestudy. Got an acknowledgement letter dated 6th May, which told us there were no SW's available at the moment so back in the waiting game. This is not necessarily a bad thing though as have lots of coursework to do and a looming deadline of 20th June to get it all done.

Anne, go ahead with your holiday, they'll fit around you if they managed to get organised that quick!


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## julesF

hi all
any advice on what we should be doing to prepare for matching panel? we have been linked with a 4 and 7 yr old


thanks


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## watakerfuffle

Hello All, just popping on to say hi and also with an update.... We got turned down by our first choice of LA, they gave us a long list of things to work on and said they would review us in 3 months time. We decided to try the 2nd choice LA and guess what....they have taken us on and now booked onto prep course in September, whoo hoo so exciting. 

Hope all is going good for you all


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## sonia7

Hi everyone

Hope you are all well. Currently while waiting (been nearly 5 months since approval to adopt panel) I am doing our family tree, its interesting managed to find details about my great great grandad born early 1800's

Looking forward to my holiday on saturday for ten days   .

Good luck to everyone

Sonia x


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## Mrs Dibbles

Just bookmarking you guys. Will post properly later as hubby needs the computer for work and is lurking over my shoulder!


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## Belliboo

Hi everyone just popping on to say hello I don't post much but noticed we had a new thread,

Just wondered how often people have contacted there sw after being approved, dont want to pester her but finding waiting so hard & it's only be 2 months, we did have potential match but when the child went to court for placement order  parents contested it so back to square one xx


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## Fergux

hi all,

Just marking the thread!

Just signed our PAR ( 55 pages long!), so hoping for panel end June, can't wait to finally get there... its taken 12 months to get here from acceptance with LA.  We can't wait to move to the next stage

Love to all
Fergux


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## skyblu

Hi ladies - just marking the thread.

Sweets, It must of been a lot fun doing the girls bedroom, I cant wait to get to that point of this loooong journey.

AAA- How are you? have you healed since the op? any more on when you can go to panel? Thinking of you 

We have got 3 weeks to go until we start our prep course,I cant wait but I am also very nervous about it all.
We had a letter a couple of days ago to comform dates,times and place which have changed 3 times  
Is it normal for the course to be 7 hrs long for 4 days, it feels like I'm going back to school lol .

Take care ladies
Skyblu.x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Skyblu yeah our prep course was the same it is really hard going and be ready for a lot of negativity but there is also positive in there. I was just quite shocked how negative they were mind you we had a new style for our LA and even the SW's doing it changed the end of the 2nd day cause it was sooooooooooo negative they have apparently changed it again. Thanks for asking, I am going back to work today I am gutted I have loved been at home. I have recovered really well little bit worried last couple of days as the pains in my right side seem to be rearing their ugly head again fingers crossed its just everything still healing inside after all the full recovery is 12 weeks and I am only at 6! Any news with you and hope you are well.

Hope everyone is good, sorry have just read all the posts but my head really isn't with me today.


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## AoC

AAA, sweetheart, even with just a lap and endo tx, I was still twinging occasionally at 6 weeks.  Don't fret!!!    All will be well, I'm sure.  

I can understand the nerves, Sky, but it's so exciting too!

Well, I'm feeling more positive today (I've had the blues recently).  We've pretty much finished filling out the 'expression of interest' form, which was very detailed!  Now I've just got to overwrite it in pen.  Which will take ages....  *g*  I'm a slow writer, but fast typer, but DH says that re-creating the whole thing in MS Word might send the signal I'm a bit of a control freak... even if doing that would take about half the time than hand writing it!  

We had trouble working out who to put down as referees - they wanted two personal refs not related to us, who knew us both from childhood and had seen us with children.  We don't have anyone who ticks all those boxes!  They also wanted a single family referee and an optional fourth referee.  

So we've chosen a friend of the last ten years who lives locally and would be part of our support network, a long-term family friend of DH's from where his family still lives, plus his Dad and my Mum.  It's a pity, I'd have liked to include my best mate who started ttc the same time I did, and now has a four year old - I've helped look after him in the past.  But it didn't fit what they wanted.

Never mind. 

Luck and love to all!


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## pumpkin23

Hello Everyone
Well my hubby and I are well into home study, he has had his one to one with our SW and mine is tomorrow. I'm really nervous about it, hubby says his went well  - i'm sure it will be alright but i'm the quiet one of us and he won't be there to back up anything I say. Then our SW is seeing one of our referees so hope that goes ok too. We have three more sessions after that then our SW wants to see us with child/ren so we are taking our friends little girl to the park - has anyone else had to do this? Then we go to panel on 3rd August so two months to go.
Good luck to everyone whatever stage you are at.
Pumpkin23


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## libby29

We just couldn't wait any longer, we brought a cot bed! It is soooo beautiful i'm totally in love with it. I rang sw to say what our plans were and she agreed it was a good idea to get it now as it will be quite a rush once we are matched to buy everything. Had an amazing day choosing it and dh loved putting it up, something he's wanted to do for soo long. Now its up and we still dont have a match, i'm feeling like a bit of a fool and fraud. We have this beautiul cot with no littlie tucked up in it at night. Do you think we've tempted fate? Haven't brought anything else....well other than a mattress! We just wanted to feel like we were doing something productive with all this waiting. xxx


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## panorama

Hello everyone!

Sorry it's been a while    Been quite busy and trying to keep busy until July, not much happening till the end of the month!

Libby - good for you, do what feels right!  I have bought a few bits but can't get myself to get that much until the court order as I have sort of been there before, and then had to sell it all when our son died   , so think I will leave it all last minute this time! Can't wait tho, and I have researched so have a list!  I did resort to getting a couple tops and bought a travel cot and some bedding and a few toys as my friend stayed over with her 2 year old, good excuse eh!    Hope the cot is not empty for too long hun!

Pumpkin - hope it goes well, we didn't have to do the kids thing but my SW talked to my sis and friends with kids about it, all LA's are different!

AoC - glad things are moving for you, the referees can be hard! Your sounds quite strict too!

AAA - hope work was ok    Glad you are getting better hun   

Skyblu - we had 3 days prep I think - 7 hours each day. Hope it goes well, I really enjoyed it!

Fergux - hope the give you a panel date soon!

Belliboo - I used to email my SW every few weeks to say hello!    Hope you get a match soon!

Sonia - enjoy your hols!

Waterkuffle - great news!

Jules - not been to ours yet, hope someone else can advise 

Arrows - hope you get a SW soon and good luck with the studies   

Right I think that's all the personals I can manage!     Hope everyone else is well.

Not much happening here although we got some more adorable photos from our little boy, he is too cute and has grown a bit    We should meet him mid July, can't wait! Hoping June whizzes by, thankfully quite busy!! Just had my best friend and 2 year old stay over and it was lovely but she has her mum wrapped round her little finger and had no routine! Earliest she went to bed was 9pm! Not going to do that!!   

Best of luck to everyone still waiting and doing their prep and home study!

p xxx


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## brisvegas

Hello everyone,

May I join you?  

My dh and I are just starting on the adoption road.  We have our info session at the end of this month, which I am looking forward to.

I know that this process can be a long journey, but I feel like it is a step in the right direction    

Good luck to everyone
 for a quick journey for us all


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## AoC

Welcome brisvegas, and good luck!

Does anyone know where we can get advice about planning our finances/budget for adoption?  I'd like help working out what we can afford in terms of reduced working hours after the initial year after placement.  Who would be best going part-time?  Could we both go part time?  What about the impact on tax band and could we get tax credits  My head's going round in circles, and I find it really hard to work out numbers, so I'm looking for some guidance.

I said I wouldn't do this until they'd said whether or not they'd accept an application from us, but it can't help to know HOW to plan, right?


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## charlie_44

Hiya ladies

Just book marking - I will have to look back and have a read through as I haven't been on for a bit.

Have a lovely weekend


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## Arrows

AoC, you're not the only one concerned early on -this is a good thing to plan ahead and think about, but don't stress too much! You are entitled to 1yr adoption pay, just like maternity pay and all the benefits that go with it, so you should be able to manage the time off, it's more after that that you need to consider but you will still get child tax credits etc and if your child has a specific need there is a fund that helps with additional costs too. Also, on references front -you're not the only one! We had to have 3 personal referees -one for each of us and one as a couple and at least one had to have seen us in with children where we were in charge. Then we each had a family member reference and they also take work references too! So 7 in all!!!!!!

brisvegas, welcome! We're all at different stages and can help and support.


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## Boggy

HI AoC

Just to clear up a couple of things that Arrows has just posted  

You are entitled to 39 week Statutory Adoption pay at roughly £125 per week - you are not entitled to the same as Maternity who also get 6 weeks on more or less full pay.    You may get more if your employer is generous!

However, if I've read your post right, I think you are talking about your work after your adoption leave of 1 year?

I can't really suggest what is best to do, but I would recommend not making any decisions just now.  You may find your child needs you home for longer, or you may find that your DH is best suited to stay at home,  I don't think you can be sure until you get to know your child.

As for benefits, you may be entitled to tax credits depending on your income.  Child benefit used to be universal but their is now a threshold.  DirectGov is a really helpful website.

Hope all that makes sense  

bx


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## Arrows

thanks Boggy  That's way more accurate and helpful!! :-D
I'm not always as good on the detail -my work said they based the first bit of pay on the amount you earned in a set period of time before you went off on adoption leave. 
I'm working crazy hours at the minute trying to cram 4mths work into the space of 1mth and anything non teaching related seems to leaking out to make room for learning theories, principles and assessment procedures! I plead temporary insanity!!
Hope things are going well with your two Boggy  Can't wait till the day we can celebrate too!


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## AoC

Thank you, ladies!  Don't fret, Arrows!  You're advice not to worry too much is good advice. 

Thanks for the detail, Boggy.  I'm just concerned I don't really know how to answer the "can you afford to care for a child?" question.  I did do some fact finding yesterday, so I feel better equipped.  I just wish there was somewhere I could go to get advice on how to work it all out... 

I was asking mostly about after the adoption leave.  But I have to keep an eye on that, too.  If all I could get was the statutory minimum, we wouldn't be able to pay the mortgage, let alone eat.  Happily, we have fairly good t&cs, so I think that'll be okay.

We'll manage.


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## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just to add to the conversation re/financial info, and a word of warning, my company (a large airline, so not even a little company  ) were very mean and paid only the statutory adoption pay right from the start so I didn't get the 6 weeks at 90% at the beginning.
After numerous emails to our Personnel Manager and discussion with our Union Rep, they still stood their ground on this point.
Unfortunately they weren't doing anything legally wrong as they have no obligation to pay the 6 weeks at 90% that pregnant women get, but as everyone else on my prep course, and most people I have spoken to since worked for companies who did match the normal 'maternity' benefits I thought this was pretty mean  
I was the only person in the history of the company in the UK so far to go through the adoption process so it's not as if they'd be shelling out loads in the future for others either!

I just wanted to mention this as however unjust and unreasonable this sounds, companies are legally allowed to just pay the statutory pay when you start your adoption leave, so it's best to get it clarified early on.
I think I read somewhere a while ago that this was petitioned to the government to get it changed, but obviously no joy so far.

One other point is (*and very important)* check your company have an up to date policy on Adoption Entitlements!
When I was looking into it they told me that I'd get statutory pay for 28 weeks (I think it was 28, but was definitely a lot less than 39!)
It changed to 39 weeks in 2009 I think but as noone had gone through the adoption process they hadn't updated it!
This is quite a lot of money less so make sure you are getting 39 weeks statutory pay!

As Boggy said, Directgov is a really good site to be able to clarify a lot of your financial entitlements, and if there are any discrepancies with your company's policy, you can always quote Directgov as a reference! 

Good luck all,

Luv Anj x


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## AoC

Thanks Anjelissa, that's really helpful.  Our HR policy says adoption leave entitlements "broadly mirror" maternity benefits, and to get details from the dept.  I distrust "broadly mirror!" and if I find they don't come close, I'll try and push it.


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## racheypache13

Hi everyone, 
not really been on for a while as we have just been waiting and waiting to get started. We went to an information evening in December and have been waiting for an inital visit with a social worker for them to decide if the authority will take us on. We finally have a meeting next Wednesday and after all this waiting I'm now really nervous. We already have a 4 year old so according to their rules we have to adopt a 0-2 year old (which we are happy about) BUT all the paper work they are sending us says they are looking for adopters of siblings and over 3s. Does this mean they won't take us on? I don't think I could cope if after all this waiting they turn us down. 
Love to you all on this amazing journey
Rache


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## julesF

our course was 4 days and 8 hours long each day and although somewhat dubious about it at the start it completely changed the way we looked at things and we made some great friends who are going through the same experiences....and the learning doesn't stop we have another training session next week on post adoption, contact, and cover stories


best of luck


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## julesF

OMG its been 4 days since we met FC and we have just sent back the APR for matching panel and I can't switch my brain off it just keeps going round and round, the kids already feel like ours with all the hard work in decorating assembling furniture etc but the nerves at it being a negative outcome is driving me mad wish there was some way to switch off my brain from obsessing and worrying


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## AoC

((((hugs)))) Jules - hope things settle soon.  

A quick question about adoption agencies - you can apply to any within a 50 mile radius, right?  Well, where we live I think that just about takes in two other LAs and no VAs.  Can we cross the border into Scotland


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## Guest

Hi AoC

Not sure whether you can cross the border.  We're in Scotland and were assessed and adopted here - the system is different especially the legal stuff.  Saying that I do know of penty of children placed across the border so it can't be too much of an issue. 

I'd give the scottish agency a ring - you have nothing to lose.  

Bop


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## AoC

Thanks Bop.    I don't need to call yet, but I was trying to work out what we had in reserve if our local LA doesn't work out for us.


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## brisvegas

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for your warm welcomes  

Well I am on the countdown to our info afternoon, only 14 sleeps   Im hoping for so much but trying to manage the expectations that for once in my life, I may have a 'text book experience' as in everything goes forward smoothly.  I guess we shall see!   

julesF - Big hugs, I hope it works out for you        

Hi to everyone else, it is going to take a while for me to get to know everyone

Take care


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## AoC

Good luck Brisvegas!    Wishing you a smooth process.  

Well, it's a    for us.    I just posted off our 'expression of interest' form - 16 pages long, without counting supplementary sheets!  It was a bit of a nightmare to complete, but the worst bit was writing over all our pencil answers in pen and then rubbing the pencil out!  Oh, I hope future forms will be electronic versions.... I find hand writing a pain!  

Anyway, it's done, and now we can only wait and see if they say, "okay, let's see how this works out" or, "you must be joking!"  

Worse thing is, I have no idea how long we're going to have to wait for further contact.    Going to try and put it out of our minds (Lord knows there's plenty of other stuff going on in our lives!) but I doubt we'll achieve that.  

Good luck everyone!


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## eknowles

hi ladies 
can i join you.  we have been approved 14th april and last thursday had a call about a little boy 3 mths old.  well tomorrow his social worker is coming to visit us at home with out social worker.  i am very nervous as not sure what to expect ... apparently we are their 1st choice.  can anyone help with what they will do etc and any ideas of questions we should as my brain has just gone to mush!!!!
EM XX


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## julesF

hi Eknowles
we were approved in Feb and had our first SW visit end of march we were the only family they were looking at and we felt as though the kids were sold to us
we made the house "kid" welcoming ie ensured that the 2 bedrooms were cleared so they could see we had the space also but on lunch they travelled  3 hours to see us, it was very relaxed and left saying they liked us and 7 days confirmed by saying they wanted to proceed we now have matching panel on the 28th
also be prepared to explain what is in the area parks schools nurseries activities etc it all helps to show you are preparing for


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## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Not been on for months but just to let you know we got approved at matching panel for a baby girl - we start intros in a week - cant wait to meet her

x x x


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## julesF

congratulations best of luck, it is so exciting we hope to be matched soon as well


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## Kaytie

Hi,

Sorry, don't post here very much, but am following your progress.   

Could I ask a question, please. How long does it approximately take from finding out about a link (then going to matching panel and being successful) to finally start introductions? I'm just looking for a rough idea, I appreciate that it'd depend on personal circumstances. Thanks very much x  

Kaytie x


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## Mrs Dibbles

Hi Kaytie.

We found out about our little boy in Feb this year. matching panel was May and intros start tommorrow!! There were afew complications along the way though so I think it can be quicker than this in other cases.

Hope this helps


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## 02cindy

Mrs Dibbles - Good luck for tomorrow.  

Pinky - That's fantastic news - hope intros go really really well.     

Cindy.x


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## Poochie1111

Mrs Dibbles - hope it goes well for tomorrow. Bet your nervous and excited all rolled into one!     

Pinky - fab news on your approval at matching panel. You must be so giddy as well!

AoC - well done on getting your form off.  Can't believe it was 16 pages though!!  Must have taken ages to complete. Ours was only one page   .  How different the agencies are!!  We did have to complete a very long application form as well once we were accepted to start so I wonder if yours if a combined one.

x


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## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just wanted to say Congratulations and lots of luck for intros to Mrs Dibbles and Pinky   
You will never forget that first day, it will stay with you forever   

Love Anj x


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## AoC

I think it must be, Poochie, because it has all the details of referees, past addresses, etc.  It even asks what 'type' of children we'd like to adopt.  I'd kinda like a conversation with a SW before we decide that!

Congratulations, Pinky!  Fingers crossed.   

I'm sorry, I'm a newbie to this, Kaytie, so I don't know.  Good luck!   

So exciting Mrs Dibbles!   Will be thinking of you tomorrow.


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## Kaytie

Mrs Dibbles - all the best for tomorrow, how lovely, I bet your heart must be doing crazy flips   . Hope all goes well and thanks for replying.

AoC good luck x

All the best to everyone else, we're all at different stages of this journey, but each of them is getting us a step closer to being a family (or being a bigger family).   

hugs xx


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## Maccer

Hello All,

I hope you had a lovely weekend, it is amazing how time flies.

Good luck Mrs Dibbles, we will be thinking of you.

Congratulations Pinky and AoC.

I hope everyone else is okay, our first homestudy is tomorrow, I am really nervous, I just want this to all go smoothly.  

Maccer x


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## Anjelissa

Hi again all,

Just to add to Kaytie...
We were linked in the July, matched in the August and intros started in Sept so it can go quickly sometimes   

Lots of luck,

Anj x


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## liveinhope

Have a great day tomorrow Mrs Dibbles.  Enjoy every moment!
xx


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## panorama

Morning!
Mrs Dibbles  - so excited for you! Enjoy meeting your son today, feeling all emotional for you! 
Maccer - hope it goes well today, once you start HS it really flies!
Pinky - congrats! How lovely, how old is your baby girl then? Excited for you too! 
Brisvegas - I know what you mean about everything going smoothly for once! I thought exactly the same and so far it has been smooth sailing for us, so everything crossed for you! 
Kaytie - welcome, good luck with it all! We were matched in beginning of april but because of legalities will meet our son in July, and so far time is flying by!
Rache - I am sure they will not turn you down, they need a selection of people for children of all ages normally, good luck!
Jules - I am sure all will be fine, but I know what you mean about not switching off! When is matching panel?
AOC - don't know much about entitlements as we are not really eligible, but hope you can work it all out! 
Been very busy lately, the weeks seem to be flying by, yay! Court case is in 2 weeks time, so looking forward to that being over! Have started getting a few bits and am going to order the cot bed today (scared to jinx! ) 5 weeks until we start intros hopefully! Finally starting to feel quite real... scary but exciting! 
Love to all!
p xx


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## julesF

2 weeks and one day will matching panel and i have got myself worked up spent most  the weekend hysterical convinced that the panel will say no, we don't get to attend they just get our PAR and APR, both SW are in support of match but as we are with a VA and are linked with littlies in a LA 3hrs away i just keep expecting a phone call saying they have changed their mind......I'm driving myself mad and comfort eating all the time which means my BMI will go up it was already 37 when the medical report was done last year for our assessment...will this matter at matching panel?


it just feels so close i am worried it will be snatch away at the last min.....


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## Mrs Dibbles

Hey everyone,

Just popping on to say today was brilliant. Arrived to have our little boy run towards us when we got there and call me Mum. Had lots of lovely cuddles. He showed us all his toys and books and we even managed to take a few pictures. He was very funny with the camera and was trying to scroll it across like an iphone getting very cross when it didn't work!!!    We will have to buy a new camera I think!!! We left when he had his nap. Both feeling extremely excited about going back there again tommorrow. Can't wait.


----------



## AoC

Oh Jules (((((hugs)))))  I know I'm going to be just the same if we get that far!  It's going to be okay, sweetheart.  Deep breaths, lose the caffeine (if any!  ) and take it one day at a time.  ((((more hugs))))

That's just fantastic, Mrs Dibbles.  Wonderful!


----------



## libby29

Mrs Dibbles, sounds like an amazing day you've had. Was lovely to hear that it went so well for you and LO. xx
Well we are still just waiting for our link to go to their final court day, so until then we will know nothing about them other than sex and age. Driving me a little crazy  We have just found out though that our la don't give a settling in grant  . Not the end of the world but a little miffed as think it should be the same nation wide. We weren't counting on it by any means but would have helped non the less. While waiting for lo to be released to adoption, or not, we are going to paint the house top to bottom as hopefully we will be a busy mum and dad soon and wont have time!


----------



## Maccer

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for the lovely wishes, all went well today, glad the first one is over with, now we kind of know what to expect.

Mrs Dibbles - I am so glad today went well.
Pinky - Congrats.
Panorama - Good luck  for court, I am sure everything will go smoothly.

Hope everyone else is keeping well?

Maccer x


----------



## julesF

Thanks AoC
herbal teas are great been for a long walk tonight then had to finish family books to drop of tuesday
just wish i could think positive


----------



## Pinky3

Mrs D - sounds like a great day  how nice that he called you mum x x


----------



## julesF

Mrs D sounds like you are having a wonderful time


as you can see our matching panel is 2 weeks away and i'm terrified what actually happens at it? what type of questions get asked? are they about whats in your PAR? kids CPR? adoption plan? i would be grateful for any shared experiences thanks


----------



## Poochie1111

Mrs Dibbles - so glad it all went well today!!  Bet you were fighting back the tears when he called you mum.  How lovely   

Maccer - great today went better than you thought. Roll on the next visit.

Jules - keep positive hun.  I can imagine the next two weeks will be an anxious time

Panorama - glad it's all going well.  Hope the 5 weeks will fly by.

xx


----------



## Pinky3

Jules - our panel were all lovely and put us at ease - they asked why we thought our baby gril was right for us and we explained how we read the info and fell for her straight way    dont stress about it


----------



## julesF

well one and all it is official i have driven myself mad with worry over MP have had a stinking migraine and stayed off work, after a day in bed i am still tired but wanted to see what was happening with you all...............


OMG i wish there was an off switch  


13days to MP and it seems like for ever, and i still fear them saying no even after meeting FC and reading APR, had to take family books to SW today which made it all seem so much more real....


----------



## racheypache13

Hi everyone,
Well, a social worker came to see us yesterday to decide if our LA would take us on. We were told they would write to us with their decision so were delighted when at the end of the meeting she said 'It looks like you would be ideal for adoption and there is a prep course next month'. EEEEK! Such early days I know but a positive step forward. SHe did say that there would be another 6 month wait after prep course to start on home study but at least we will have started the process.
We are finally letting ourselves get slightly excited now. Maybe it will happen!!!
Mrs D- your post made me cry, such wonderful experiences for you.
Love to everyone else
Rache


----------



## Poppets Mammy

I just wanted to Say Hello to everyone and bookmark this chat thread. 

Long story short DH and I have decided to stop our TX and move onto adoption. We cant have the first couselling/home visit session until Nov as they want to give us a few more months to come to terms with things etc before they start the application process. But weve made contact and been to an info evening and are very excited at the prospect of becoming adoptive parents.  

This seems like a dream we can achieve, it feels more right for us then thrashing out more and more fertility TX. We are in a good place at the min, at peace with out decision and enjoying not having to focus on meds, scans etc etc. We are very excited about getting the ball rolling in Nov. I prob wont post much at the min as I wont have much to share until Nov, but I will continue to read and enjoy your experiences.

Wishing you all the best in your journey of becoming a family and looking forward to joining you on that


----------



## nicpic

Hello all,

This is my first post on this thread. We have just been to our info meeting having deliberated for 6 months on whether we want to continue down the fertility road or not. Prior to the meeting i had pretty much decided that this is no longer for us and adoption is the right route. Forever hopeful - like you feeling like this is an achievable dream. I was well aware that we will need to consider a child or siblings who perhaps are not babies i.e under 12 months and had got my head around pre school age but they were very much pushing children of school age during our info evening and whilst i'm not dismissing the chance of being a parent to an older child it has left me reeling slightly. The presentation was from a couple who had adopted a 4 and 7 year old and it moved me to tears and was a very happy story but i feel i've gone a bit backwards now.
Did anyone else have the same feeling after the first meeting around the age aspect?
I hope that as we progress it turns out that in reality there may be a chance of a younger child and think it makes sense to move onto at least a home visit.
Any advice?
Nic xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Nicpic - Hello, you sound like you are in a similar place to where I was last December when we first attended the info meeting. There are a lot of questions you and DH need to ask yourselves, which only you to can answer. In regards to the age debate, the LA that held the info evening kept banging on about not placing babies and be prepared for older children, then every example they gave were of children under 12months of age that they had recently placed, well their still babies to me?!    I think they always say that so theres no false dreams of getting a new born baby as that just doesnt happen due to the official paper work and court procedures etc involved in a baby going for adoption. The agency we have decided to go with had also mentioned the lack of young children/babies for adoption but then went on to say the average age of an adopted child in UK was 13months (again thats still a baby in my eyes) so I think theres a lot of contradicting info. They also mentioned that they try to do age appropriate adoption, so the younger the child the younger the parents they try and match, which I suppose may seem unfair to some, but kinda makes sense.

I wish you all the best in the search for a little one, the right child is out there somewhere for all of us


----------



## panorama

Forever Hopefull & nicpic - welcome to the board! Just to let you know we had exactly the same at our info evening but the truth is there are young children out there, they just want you to be able to commit to the process. We were approved for 2 siblings under 4 and when it came to it in our LA all the children available at the moment are under 2! We have been matched to what we consider a very young baby boy, who will be 10 months when we meet him next month, way younger than our expectations ever were!    So it can happen as you can see on this board, don't let it put you off! Good luck!! x
Rache - that's brill news!
Jules- hang on in there, I know in our LA you would not get to matching panel unless they think it will be approved so don't panic, I'm sure it will all be fine!   
Love to everyone xx


----------



## nicpic

Thank you both so much for your responses. Have to say have had a very up and down day (and its our wedding anniversary!) but your posts have really made me feel so much more positive. I hoped this was the case and we are certainly open minded about the whole process. Just meeting my lovely DH from work for dinner and feel much more upbeat now!

Panorama - wow the very best of luck with your meeting. That is so exciting!! 

Can i ask one more personal question to anyone really!? In your initial inquiry form (I assume its all pretty standard across UK) how open were you on the age question of what you would consider. Understand am being bit nosy but i want to be honest but equally don't want to be overlooked or deprioritised as well aware they are focussing on the harder to place children.

 to everyone else 

Nic xx


----------



## AoC

I think we put 0-6, nicpic, fairly arbitrarily, as we don't even know what the 'official' age groupings are!  But we did say we'd want to discuss this and come to an informed decision.  For me, it's not just a case of what we 'want' but what we'd be good at - and we need external advice on that one!  

We got a letter from our LA today saying thanks for the application and naming our social worker, saying she'd be in touch soon.  Didn't expect a response so fast!  

*waving to everyone*


----------



## julesF

hi nicpic and welcome


we started wanting under 12mnths and then through our training ended up going from 2 to 3 children up to 8 years as you learn so much on this journey
we were approved for up to 3 children aged 0-7 and even though we are with a VA we have had all age groups within that range suggested, you may start wanting a young one but you do not know where you will be after the process, our SW said to us the first time we met her and she is great that if we haven't changed at the end of this process she hasn't done her job and we thought we had gone into this well read etc
and we are so different it took us 9mnths to get approved and 4mnths later we are approaching matching panel, we are linked with a 4 and 7 yr old, my DH wanted under 12mnths but this feels so right, my advice keep your mind and heart open to all options your LO will jump off the page at you and there is no guarantee that it will be young


----------



## ratsy

hi ladies i hope you dont mind me butting in on your thread .i was hoping for some advise as im a newbie to adoption i was wondering what you do at a prep course and home study i havnt a clue what either of these are thanks for your help  sorry about rubbish post im usin dh phone xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Ratsy - Hello and Welcome, me and Nicpic are new as well. How I understand it the first home visit is where the socialworker explains the process and see's if you meet the basic criteria etc and then you can submit an application to adopt. You then go on a prep course to get a feel for the type of children you want to adopt, age needs etc, and they prepare you for the journey and becoming an adoptive parent, how to overcome possible obstacles and services available etc. Then the home studies start which will vary in every individual situation, they look at your relationship, social circumstances and past etc so they can really get to know you so that they can give a good case to panel for you to be approved adopters and also so that they match a child to you personally. 
I think that's how it goes, like I say I'm new myself so if anyone wants to add something feel free.
X


----------



## Irishlady

Sorry haven't been on here much...only started home study 3 weeks ago but it is already all consuming!! We have just had our individual chats which went ok, if a little draining. Our next homework is to write about our relationship, ahead of an in depth discussion of it I'm sure!! 

I am amazed at how quickly it is all moving...refs have been written to they are working through the endless questions!!

We also have a panel date of 16th Nov too which seems ages away but it is good to have a date to aim for.

Ratsy - we didn't do an app form until after prep group, you will realise that all LAs or Vol may have their own way of doing things. Our prep group ran for 6 weeks and then we had a 2 month gap before starting home study. I felt a bit frustrated with this gap but used it as a time to do some more reading and putting together a file on things to do in our area, started on our support network too. 

Sorry for waffling on...  

xx


----------



## julesF

any day down and one closer to matching panel, nerves are starting to ease the closer we get but i am comfort eating alot bang goes BMI


----------



## nicpic

Hi JulesF,

How exciting that you are so close, jsut can't imagine what that will feel like if we get to that stage!! As a newbie to all of this what exactly is the matching panel bit. So you've been approved and then from your post you have been linked to a 4 and 7 year old. Is the matching panel to assess whether that link is suitable and then you get to meet them? Sorry, don't want to add to your stress with my questions!!! Wishing you the very best of luck.
Also in your earlier post you mentioned being with a VA i guess rather than thru local council? We went to an info evening with the agency covering our borough and they recommended we look at a different one if we were keen on younger children . The impression i got was the one they directed us towards looks more widely across the UK. Have to say not sure who is best to go with so i sent off for the info from the other one and that's come thru now. They seem to bypass an info evening and based on much form filling pay you a visit so i think we will at least start with them but how do people make this choice and whether to use a VA? You can see am totally green at the moment!!
Nic
xx


----------



## julesF

Hi nic


yes we are approved, happened feb 4th, we were sent details about 2 children, decided we wanted to pursue them so agreed to meeting with SW, that was 28th Mar, we were then "linked" we conferenced called with FC as they are 31/2hrs away and met them at their home in early June, we had the APR 3rd June and Panel as you can see is the 28th


we opted for a VA as a work for LA and there was concern it was a conflict of interest, this annoyed us at first but has worked out as we were approved in 10mnths and have a very good SW, and linked in 2 mnths


our agency warned us from the start it tend to be older children 3+ and sibling groups which is what we wanted, choose carefully as once you have completed the application for you are with them and unfortunately i have read some horror stories of people being messed around and waiting ages for prep course, Home studies


bets of luck


----------



## julesF

ignore what i posted yesterday...............the nerves and tears are back, we have spent the morning doing the DVD for the LOs, just need to edit it and burn it to CD and get it to SW for MP


had lunch with the in-laws and they are so excited about the LOs, feeling the pressure for mP to say yes!


----------



## Ipswichbabe

Hello.

Firstly I am sorry if this is going on the wrong thread. I was looking for a general chat thread on adoption and couldnt find one.... feel feel to move it if it incorrectly added.

Anyway, Very new to adoption.... Im looking for a friend or friends to chat with, who can guide me thro the process and give me real first hand experience and true life opinion from those that have been thro it before.  And are going thro it still...

I have spent 9 yrs TTC and found forums a very valuable source, in helping me understand things. Ive also met some v. nice girls who are now some of my closest friends. 

We had our last fresh IVF in Sept, BFP ( the only one) and lost due to chemical pregnancy, and FET in Feb was BFN. I am now ready to stop. After all ive been thro with IVF, and the OHSS i suffered also. Its all too much, i want the baby but i can do all the IVF... it makes me so miserable and even more miserable after we fail. I want to be normal again.... 

I am still sensitive to the IVF and still wish, it could have been, The LA has said we need to wait 1 yr after treatment and i agree we do, me more than DH as i still cry often over it... im trying to accept I will never be a blood mother. 
I am excited about adopting a child, but do know i need some strength first. I feel better deciding not to go ahead with IVF but still sad, that i wont ever be pregnant. Will that feeling ever go.... 
Im sure someone out there must understand my feeling, dont want IVF but would love to be pregnant. Sadly DH has no sperm, so not even a little accident hope for us!! 

I hope to build a friendship, would be nice to chat to someone who totally gets me....

Will wait for a reply. Much love x x x


----------



## Boggy

Hi nickinic

I've moved your thread to the Chat Thread  

Will reply properly later  

bx


----------



## Boggy

Hi Nickinic

Welcome to the adoption/fostering board  

I'm sure you will find lots of support here, we are a very friendly supportive bunch    

I too came to adoption due to Azoospermia, so I know what you mean about there never being a "little accident".  There were a couple of occasions when people made the "oh adopt and you'll get pregnant" comment and I had to bite my tongue to stop me telling them how that really wasn't going to happen for us.  I mourned our fertitilty for a long time, but time does heal and now we have 2 wonderul children who are as loved as they would have been if I'd given birth to them.  We found out we'd never have biological children 5 years ago this week, and even now my mind wanders to it but we're delighted with the family we have found. 

Have a look around the board and you'll find useful resources and some of the other members will say hi too  

bx


----------



## Ipswichbabe

Hi Boggy. Thanks for your reply. and for setting me on the right thread ( i knew i'd be on the wrong place- i always seem to post in wrong place. its like those automated phone options, i always seem to pick the wrong one!! LOL¬!!!)

I have had one girl also adopting and azoospermia PM me which was really nice and your message too. Made me feel a bit better. I guess, i have to find a way to adapt to living my life knowing i will never be pregnant. My mother friend never had kids, fertility issues and in those day IVF wasnt as easy as it is these days, She says she still cry and wishes she could have been pregnent, now all her friends are getting grandkids its tough on her all over again. So i guess its there til the end. 

I worry that birth parents might try to get the kids back, thats my biggest fear, they might kidnap the kids and i will be lving a life in fear of that..... 

I do wanna meet ppl, so Pm if you want or chat on here. 

Much love to ya all and best of luck with your families and kids x x x


----------



## nicpic

Hi JulesF - thanks for your post on Saturday. It prompted me to call our second agency we r looking at this morning to ask them questions around timeframes etc and i spoke to a lovely SW who was just so supportive and helped me realise we need to be honest with ourselves in terms of age at this stage. Not to say we won't change our minds further into the process but she certainly made me feel very at ease with the discussion and not guilty about intially wanting a slightly younger child. I really hope we get her as our SW as she was so nice! So anyway, she sort of decided me with all of her responses and the fact she spent an hour on the phone with me that we will go with this agency. So lots of soulsearching this week while we try to answer the mountain of questions on their questionnaire. 
Sorry to hear nerves and tears are back but that must be so natural at this stage ( i feel nervous and i haven't actually done anything yet!!) - i really hope it all works out well for you. What is the DVD you have to do?!
Boggy - i keep getting that all the time at the moment - i bet you get pregnant once you start the adoption process. Its driving me insane. We have undiagnosed infertility so its not set in stone but we have decided to stop any treatment but i still get people asking me - have you tried this or that which doesn't help when you really are trying to explain that you have had enough and have decided to stop. The last thing i need is people suggesting other avenues! Like its not confusing enough. 
Nickinic - i'm in somewhat of a similar position in that have had alot of IVF etc and made the recent decision to stop. It is still quite raw and whilst we know we want to pursue adoption it doesn't mean i'm not grieving and not feeling upset about what might have been. What i do think though is, reading some of the stories of others, that if we are lucky enough to adopt and once we have a family we would not look back or wish it any different and i hold onto that. I wish you all the luck with your journey. I think social services are extremely well versed in ensuring the safety of the children they place with adoptive families so i wouldn't be worrying about those aspects.
nicpic xx


----------



## julesF

sounds like you found a good SW nic they are a rarity......ours is great though i am on tenterhooks today as she has been on annual leave (again!) for a week and I keep having nightmares that she will be back today and will call with bad news maybe panel has been moved again or there is a problem with the paperwork.......
oh well the roller-coaster goes on and on and on.............


----------



## nicpic

Hi All,

Having a discussion about which agency is best to opt for as there are more than one in our area. Is anyone aware of any public information which gives you an agency's success, size etc (talking local authority)?? Or is it just a question of talking to each and going with your gut feel?

Thks
Nic xx


----------



## panorama

Nic - all LA social services should have an OFSTED inspection, you can google it, they are normally online to see. Not sure about VA's with them I think it is more gut feel and meeting them.
Hello everyone! Handed in our welcome book to our social worker yesterday, all becoming very real! 
p xx


----------



## AoC

Hi Nickinic!    I'm Anna, we were ttc 8 years, with 3 IVFs, one cancelled, and two chem pregs.  I know EXACTLY what you mean about wanting a child, wanting to be pregnant, but not wanting to do IVF again.  ((((hugs))))  I'm sorry for the loss of your BFP, that really hurts.  

I'm in the very early stages of adoption, waiting to have a home visit before they decide whether they'll accept an application from us.  We're going with LA because there aren't many options active in our area, and their Ofsted report was good.

Have you thought about getting some counselling while you're in this 'cooling off' period?  Just to help you greive and get stronger for the adoption process?

Hi everyone!  *waving*


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. 
Sorry been awol, been so busy getting the house done and internet has been unplugged. 
On mob now so will do personals when I'm online again. 
Hi to all new ladies and good luck on your journey    
We had Apr's to fill in last night, they were a little mind boggling. 
Praying we have done them right. 
Not long to go to matching panel and finishing work. Can't wait now. 
Am really nervous about matching panel, scared they gonna ask awkward questions and we'll get it wrong. 
JulesF- Best of luck to at arching panel, not long to go. Sure everything will be fine hun xx

Better get back to work
Take care
Sweets xx


----------



## julesF

hi all


thanks sweets


I have a new philosophy on MP, maybe i have turned the corner at last, give me time i will be panicking again soon...anyway my philosophy is I am an approved adopter, this wasn't a competitive match and they are looking to see if we are a suitable match not assessing us again that has alreaday been done


I keep telling myself this and maybe i will believe that it may just be aright after all


----------



## AoC

That's absolutely right, Jules!    You are an approved adopter, they are assessing the match, not you.  (((((hugs)))))

Hi Sweets!    Fingers crossed!


----------



## sweets x

Jules- your right. Well done hun, good attitude and hope you keep of up and the tears dont return.   xx

Aoc- hi, hope all is going  ok with you x


----------



## nicpic

Hi, just wading through our initial forms.
AOC - like you its a 16 pager covering all family information before someone comes to see us at home. Its pretty tough going but kind of theraputic at the same time. Also had the intial inquiry form ie the one pager as part of the pack. We started it last night and managed to get through about 20% before we became childish about some of the answers around what we look like so continuing tonight! It asks our height and build etc - do u  think curvacious is a build?! When i said i might just lie and put slender my husband said - they need to recognise you when you open the door - how rude! He was only kidding. I've just been googling adjectives to describe my personality too. Feel like i'm filling out a job application form. Also for the family background bit, i sound like a 5 year old writing their school project. I know this is just a taster though and its going to get alot more thorough!!! Am desperate to get this off though so we feel like we have actually got started. 
Panorama - thanks for Ofsted info. I looked it all up and their rating was good as was the first one we went to so seems fine i think and couldn't see any reason not to go with this LA. 
Hi to all
Nic cc


----------



## AoC

LOL Nicpic!    We actually set a timer each evening and said we'd do half an hour... or an hour... or whatever.  It meant we didn't panic too much about it.  We found it quite therapeutic, too, and it sparked lots of good chats and things we need to sort out.    When we got to describing our personalities, we did each other's, so I described DH's and he did mine....  we also pointed out that we'd done that on the form.  It made it quite fun and interesting.

I was desperate to get it sent, too.  

Fine thanks, Sweets.  Just stressed madly at work.


----------



## nicpic

that's a good idea on the personalities - i think we might do that. Makes it fun! I'll obviously edit what he puts about me though! My brother said he would write up what he thinks of our personalities as well so that will help for the bit about what others think of us. 
Yes we are trying to do the timer thing too - about an hour a night although I seem to feel the need to scoff biscuits and jaffa cakes while we are doing this . So i have to get it done by end of this week otherwise will be the size of a house by the time i finish!


----------



## julesF

reading peoples' posts it is bizarre how different each LA or VA is we didn't have any of this profile homework we had family trees etc that go in PAR but this personality profiling she just asked wrote it up added her but and got us spot on..............maybe i have been in this protective adoptive bubble with a great VA and SW (may change my mind after MP!) and people's experiences with matching are so varied waiting for what seems an age, competitive matching, i do feel so lucky that my journey although rocky has been a little less competitive....
best of luck with HS, we found ours quite therapeutic and made us realise how well we did know each other after 6mnths of marriage


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone sorry haven't been around much I have been reading but just haven't had time to post things have been CRAZY since I went back to work. 

I am really pleased to say we were APPROVED today it still doesn't seem real we had 100% approval in the quickest time the panel manager has seen in the 2 and 1/2 yrs she has been on panel      feels just great!!


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi everyone,
I don't often post here but like to keep up with how everyone's getting on  

I just wanted to say.............
AAA.......THAT'S SUCH WONDERFUL NEWS HUN!!!!!!  
HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU & MR.AAA!
I HOPE YOU'VE CRACKED OPEN THE BUBBLY TONIGHT! 
I'm wishing you a really short wait for a match  . 
We were linked a couple of days after being approved, so it can happen  
I'm so pleased for you and have a big smile on my face  

Lots of love,
Anj xxx


----------



## sweets x

Always- am so so happy for you both. Like Anj says, hope you are celebrating, you deserve this so much. xxx


----------



## brisvegas

Hi Ladies,

Not much to report from me, which is why I have been quiet on here.  We are off to our info session tomorrow and I am already worried about being rejected.  I know I am just being silly     but the nerves are taking over, I guess it is the fear of the unknown.    

AAA - Big congratulations to you.

Jules & Sweets - good luck, not much longer to go for either of you now to panel dates.

hi to everyone else.


----------



## AoC

WOO HOOO AAA!  Congratulations, that's fantastic.    

Don't worry, Bris, I'm sure it'll be fine!


----------



## panorama

AAA  -that's brilliant news!!!! Congrats, hope you find your LO really soon!   
Bris - I'm sure you will be fine hun, sure they will love you   
We had great news yesterday, the birth parents definitely not contesting next week and are not even going to be present in court so we should finally get the adoption order! Yay!! SW says I have licence to shop now   Have ordered the bedroom furniture and will go on a mad shopping spree next week when I am less busy. 
Love to all!
p xx


----------



## julesF

Panorama


I remember when we were first linked in March I shopped and shopped and still have stuff to buy


congrats


----------



## Guest

Hi everyone

What a lot of good news - congratulations to AAA and Panorama.
Bris - I'm sure you'll be fine - its normal to feel anxious.
and to everyone else - hope your journeys continue to go well and the waiting is not too long!!

Bop


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps.

Bris- am sure you will be fine. It is fear of the unknown isn't it. We were really nervous too but the peeps their were lovely. Good luck for today.  xx

P- hope your not waiting too long for.l furniture to arrive, is all so exciting. 


Jules- hope your still feeling positive. 

Hi to everyone else xx

We got loads of info from girls s/w's yesterday and can now fill in the APR's properly. This whole process is enough to drive you crazy isn't it. Think there is no more paperwork to do after this...i hope so anyhow lol 
Take care. 
Sweets xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Just wanted to also say CONGRATULATIONS to Panorama   
Enjoy your shopping, it's such an exciting time isn't it!  
A little word of advice........get LOADS of lovely sleep while you still can   

Sweets.......don't worry about matching panel, it's so much more relaxed than approval panel and you'll breeze through, nothing to worry about at all   

Luv Anj x


----------



## sweets x

Anj- thanks.  Am quite worried about what they will ask is, but, we do get a copy of the questions they will ask us. Hope your all ok xx


----------



## Poochie1111

AAA - Yay!!!!!  That's fantastic news.  Big celebrations for you!!     

Panorama - also some fab news for you too.  What a relief!  Enjoy shopping     


Hope everyone is well. x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Just popping on to say a big congrats to AAA. well done.

Our little man is now home!!! This is his second night with us now. We are both loving every minute of it he is absolutely gorgeous.

Bath and sleep now, thats me by the way, pickle is already asleep!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Mrs Dibbles aw lovely now snuggle up tight and don't let the bed bugs bite. Really pleased it is all going well 

Bris LOL I was the same I was so nervous before our info evening I really thought I had got a bug cause i couldn't keep off the loo but it was great and here we are now, I promise the nerves come and go at odd times. I wasn't too bad yesterday but hubby was a wreck. 

Anj Thanks hun I still can't believe it! Our SW is coming to see us on the 6th July kinda hoping she might have some news but far too scared to get our hopes up   How is little nemo

Panaroma shop shop shop yeah how exciting x

Thanks to everyone for the congratulations too everyone that is just at the start of this journey stay strong and take it one step at a time it is a feeling beyond believe when you hear that YES.


----------



## skyblu

AAA - A HUGE    YOU AND YOUR DH SO DESIRVE THIS AFTER THE DELAY YOU HAVE HAD CONGRATS AGAIN 

PANORAMA - ENJOY YOUR SHOPPING, SHOP SHOP SHOP!!!!

SWEETS - NOT LONG NOW, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

ASFM - We have got our first prep session tomorrow and we are bricking it.
I really do not know what to expect, but hoping it will go quick and not as scary as I think it's going to be.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Skyblu Thanks hun, you will be fine just be prepared for negativity I think that was what we found so hard to get our heads round but they have to tell it worse case! There was some wonderful positive moments and they are the memories of the prep course that we both cling to and seeing an adoptive mum of 2 cry with joy when she was telling us about the day she met her boys was amazing! How are things going with you are you getting anywhere with hosp??


----------



## skyblu

Thanks AAA, no, not much luck on the hospital front.
I have a few bad weeks were I was constantly bleeding and nearly ended back in hospital for a blood transfusion, which luckily I refused as the bleeding had slowed down and stopped a day later, so that was a close call. I phoned my consultant in Cardiff to explain what was happening, thinking that I might get the op quicker when he told me that they were 2 months behind their schedule and they had hoped to get me in in August, but now I am looking at October now  
I then asked is it worth me going on the cancelled waiting list and told me not to bother as I need 3 different surgeons and that is why I am waiting longer than most, but he will see what he can do!!!! I am still waiting to see.

As I am staring the prep course tomorrow how long do you think it will take to get to panel?
I think we might be looking at December or January what do you think?

Take care
Skyblu.xx


----------



## brisvegas

Hi All,

Thanks for the well wishes, yesterdays info session went well.  We now have another form to complete, that asks the same questions again, to get the initial home visit to see if we are approved to start the adoption process. Let the fun begin!

Panorama - Enjoy the shopping  

Mrs Dibbles - Congrats on the new arrival 

Hi to everyone else


----------



## julesF

another weekend and trying to keep an over active and worrying mind occupied I also need to stop comfort eating bad bad habit, i am trying unsuccessful to stick to my philosophy of i am approved this is about whether we are a suitable match


our SW (we are with a VA) just says i have never worked with this LA she doesn't know what to expect at MP, we can't attend, wouldn't think she had yrs of experience guess she doesn't want to lead us down the wrong path getting our hopes up that the match will be approve only for it to be a big FAT NO!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

jules chill hun you are gonna be officially crazy by the time you get there LOL 

skyblu OMG I can't believe they are pushing you back like that. We went on our prep course in Nov, started homestudy in Dec and finished it in March, we should have been at approval panel in April but they delayed it because of my pending op. There are people who were on our prep course that are still doing the homestudy and there are people who are going to matching panel next month so no rhyme or reason to any of it. We have been very lucky cause we have a fab relationship with our SW and she has been brilliant to work with, it was picked up at the panel as well. Just try and stay strong hun and hold the faith that it WILL happen

Have a lovely weekend everyone x


----------



## Duckling

Hello everyone,
AAA - CONGRATULATIONS!!!! So happy for you. x
Welcome Nickinic - I'm sure you'll find coming on here really helps - it definitely has for me. Just to know that you're not mad and others feel the same way. I also find it really helpful reading posts of people who are a little ahead of me - it makes it a little less scarey. Also hearing the happy ever afters makes a massive difference to me!
Mrs Dibbles - it all sounds so lovely. Congratulations.
Sweets - Oh what, does the paperwork ever end?!
Jules - really feel for you! Really relate to the calm/panicy thing!  
Panorama - very good news!
Brisvegas - glad it went well. 
Skyblu - you poor thing! Really hope things will be on the up for you soon. Our sw reckons 7 months from starting prep to panel. Seems such a long time.
Hope I haven't forgotten anyone, sorry if I have.
Am panicing about portfolio at the minute. Sw very vague about it. Started it before prep and showed it and she said it needed to be more specific. Concentrated on paperwork for her homework for ages and not touched it. Now only 2 visits left and I'm panicing. Asked her for advice again last session but couldn't tell us much. We get on ok but haven't really gelled. Going to try to get stuck in later. Anyone have any advice? Really want to do it well.
Have a lovely weekend,
Duckling x


----------



## ratsy

Forever hopefull and irishlady sorry its taken me so long i dont come on here much only now and then and then its on dh phone so dont like to post on phone , Thanks alot for your advise much appreciated im hoping to be on alot more soon im writting my letter this week  to apply to be considered for adoption so il be asking you loads you will be fed up of me lol thanks again 

ratsy xxxx


----------



## julesF

thanks for all the good wishes as MP slowly creeps closer
I am so drained today, i don't know if it is work, a late night or just sheer apprehension
despite my fears over MP need to brave the shops as we still need stuff for the LOs, but even after a strong coffee i don't want to move far................
not long to go now!


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone

Need some advice, hope someone can help.  My DH is self employed and does a fair bit of work from home, as a music teacher.  We have already discussed this with SW who has said that she expects him to take at least a month off work when the children come home to enable us to begin to bond as a family, which we understand and accept and have no problem with.  However she has said that she doesnt want him to do any work from home until the children have settled and to a certain extent I can understand that as it is important that they settle before lots of people start coming in and out of the house.  However she doesnt seem to understand that the nature of my DH's work is that people will start going elsewhere if he gives up work for too long.  Obviously if he starts losing money it will affect us as a family financially.  There are family members who have said he can relocate the business there temporarily which is helpful but not really a long term answer to the problem.  He cant afford to rent a base as he then wont make any money.

I dont think there really is an answer other than go with the flow until such time Social Services are not involved but it is causing frustrations and worries to us both. It helps to write things down and If any one does have any bright ideas/own experiences to share I'd be grateful.

Thanks

xx


----------



## julesF

its getting closer, only 2 sleeps till MP
i am so tired don't know if it this hot weather or the emotional drain!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

LIH it is all a worry hun, could you not arrange lessons and things around little ones sleeps or walks out that sort of thing. I don't think they are talking long term just the first few weeks until lo knows its new home is its forever home and things are not going to change. 

Jules only 1 more sleep now x

Hope everyone is ok x


----------



## AnneS

Hi everyone,


have not been on here for weeks, again! So sorry, as am trying to get to know you all, but work is so busy (am self employed) and I think I better take all that is coming my way as this might not last. All my clients say that their budget will be cut severly, so me thinks that ther will be a significant down turn from about next year/spring onwards. But now my life-work balance is seriously out of kilter! Ho hum, then again, if we get on well with this adoption process, that might be very good timing   
Anyways, thanks very much for the personal messages  some of you have sent. It is very re-assuring to read your experiences and success stories. Thanks to Irishlady, Bop (must meet up, take a hammer, nail me down!), Diamondlady (amazing story!!).
I had a quick read on this thread and cannot leave without a few personals, but very sorry it is not more and I do not mean to leave out or ignore people!


Skyblu - so sorry to read that you are poorly and I do hope that your surgeon finds you dates very quickly
JulesF - best of luck with your wait, hope you are not going completely bonkers, though by the sound of it, that would qualify you s 'normal' here   . How soon after tomorrow will you hear of the MP's resuslts?? Oh, fingers so crossed for you!
AAA - congrats on being approved!!   
Duckling - hope you get some good advice here soon for your portefolio, we are not that far yet, so cannot comment, sorry.
Ratsy - hope you find the time to be on here again, but I know how it is, never enough time, is there??
liveinhope - That does sound a bit tricky. Maybe if you sit down with Dh's teaching timetable and decide which lessons can be reasonably taught elsewhere and the ones which cannot, might be arranged around LO's schedule? And could he teach some lessons at his pupils homes maybe? Not ideal, I admit ...


I must run to work (quite literally now   ), so take care everyone and just to say: we were accepted on our introduction course for August last week - let the fun begin, or something like that ...
 
Anne


----------



## julesF

thanks Anne
what is driving me more mad is finding stuff to keep me occupied! i have tidied my office, every cupboard at home but 1 more day
in the words of our SW if i know you will know
so hopefully we will get a verbal recommendation tomorrow from MP and the written ratification from the agency decision maker in 7 days


----------



## panorama

Jules - good luck for tomorrow!! I'm sure it will go great and you can then relax a bit more    
Anne - great news!
LIH - hmm, bit tricky. maybe you could explain that you will take the kids out when your DH is doing lessons. I have a photographic studio at home and will continue to do some work but that problem has never been mentioned by the SW, I do have a seperate entrance though around the back of the house. Hope you can sort something out!   
Duckling - not sure what you mean about portfolio? 
Hello everyone else, hope you're all enjoying the sun! 
Got my last major job out of the way before we meet our LO so can now get stuck into decorating and shopping! 
p x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hello everyone.

Good luck those waiting for approval and matching panels, I'm sure you'll all do great.

Just wanted to come on to say Eeeeeeeeeee  

We think that we've found an adoption agency in Yorkshire willing to take us on now rather than waiting a few more months. Info pack in the post, social worker going to contact us this week. I really hope this is it! I really understand shuttered a 'cool off' period following TX, but we've been thinking about this since Dec, so although we are only 3 months out of TX, mentally we've been out of it for much longer. We are so ready for this. I'm so excited at the possibility of getting the ball rolling.

Yippee  

Xx


----------



## nicpic

Hi All,
JulesF - just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow  . How about watching the tennis to try and keep you calm??!
Forever Hopeful - fingers crossed with your agency. I know what you mean about mentally being ready after tx. I understand why they want you to have a gap but we have had adoption on our minds for ages too so i don't think they should be so harsh with the gap thing. Good luck!
AAA - congratulations on your approval - that's great news!!
LIH - hope you can work through a solution. Does sound from others posts that SW have differing views on this kind of thing. Of course its not realistic for your DH to be off for ages if he is self employed. My DH is not but not sure he would be allowed to even take a month in one go himself.
Panorama- enjoy the decorating! I so can't wait to get to that stage!
 to everyone else 

We've just completed the initial questionnaire which i plan to post tomorrow. Seems all agencies are different but this one was 16 pages long so we've waded through this week. Found out i'm a bit of a control freak though! My DH ended up saying - why don't you just answer my bit for me - oops!! Got there in the end though. 
I posted last week that i had a really good chat with a social worker who made me feel really comfortable and having spoken to her for an hour i really liked her.  I took note of her name to mention in my covering letter to see if we can have her for our intial visit but when i called to reconfirm the name they said she was a he. I am very confused now! 
Fingers crossed we get our initial visit from him or her soon!


Nic
xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. 
Just a quickie today. 
Hope everyone is ok and enjoying the sun

Jules- best of luck for tomorrow. Hope u can get some sleep tonite  xxx


----------



## skyblu

Hi ladies,

Well we have had our first prep meeting, it was very slow in the morning but it really went quick in the afternoon.
I think I was so nervous I wasn't really hearing anything, don't know why I was so nervous as we have good trainers and the other couples are a great bunch of people.
We have been warned that next week is going to be a bit difficult as we will be doing abuse and neglect so I think I better pack some tissues.

Jules- good luck for tomorrow

Take care all
Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Jules Good Luck today    they say yes x

Skyblu we were both the same its silly really but I think it because we wants this so much we just worry. The neglet bits are hard going but just made us both more determind.


Nicpic pleased you have got the form back. I think we have been really lucky cause we didn't really have any massive forms to do or if we did i can't remember them dah but I am sure it wasn't 16 pages. LOL about you filling in hubbys our SW kept saying to me make sure he does his own homework which he always did. But the PAR was a bit much bless him so I sat him down and read it to him LOL. Keep us posted with the SW situation   

FH pleased you can get the ball rolling x

Panaroma enjoy the shopping


----------



## julesF

well its here, tummy is doing somersaults and i can't concentrate, i have come into work for a couple of hours to keep myself occupied, just waiting for that phone to ring.......


oh how this morning is going to drag  




thanks one and all for the good wishes and positive thoughts


----------



## AoC

Everything crossed, Jules!!!  (((((hugs)))))


----------



## AnneS

Best of luck today Jules!!!   

C Anne


----------



## Guest

Good luck for today Jules...

AnneS - nice to see you back and would love to meet up.  Let me know when would be good for you?

Hi to everyone else...

Bop


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone!
Just heard we finally have the placement order, woo hoo!!!!!!    So it's all official, meet FC's next week then matching panel 11th and will meet our little man on the 19th!!! So excited!!!
p xx


----------



## AoC

Woo hoo Panorama!!  YaY!    

Any news yet Jules?


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Panorama - Thats great news  

Jules - We are on tender hooks here waiting to find out whether they said Yes. Im sure they did  

Does anyone else use an agency out of area? The new agency we have contacted us have put us through to the yorkshire office which is the nearest to us but a whole 1 hour 56mins away. I was just wondering how that would work? It has been suggested to me that we would need to use an out of area agency due to my job it could be possible that I would of come into contact with a mother giving up her child for adoption and therefore there would be a conflict of interests. However I dont understand how they will carry out their assessments? We are happy to travel to their office for meetings etc, but surely they need to carry out atleast one home visit, and I cant see a social worker driving and 4 hour round trip just to see us. They have not mentioned our location or address as being an issue, and surely they would of said so straight away before sending us the information out etc. Just wondering if anyone else has some considerable distance between them and the agency office?

xx


----------



## nicpic

Congratulations Panorama! That's really amazing news. 
I emailed our initial pack off today and heard back immediately from the social worker i requested (who is in fact a man but i thought was a woman!) to set a date for their intial visit to our home. They could do next week but my husband can't get a day off that quickly so its the 11th (same day as your matching panel Panorama).Only very early days for us but exciting to get some milestones set and am pleased they seem to move quickly (at this stage anyway!!). Feels encouraging. 
FH - mine is not my officially local one but still only about 40 mins away and i questioned this but they were fine with it. Maybe give them a call to discuss your concerns. That's what i did when i got the pack just to be on the safe side. Good luck!

Nic xx


----------



## julesF

hi all thanks for the good wishes
it all worked
panel said YES
planning on the 5th July then straight into intros that day OMG its really happening
 hugs to all for their support


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Nicpic - Thanks Hun, I'm waiting for them to call me for over the phone interview so don't want to ring them and be all pushy with questions, I'll ask when they ring. Yours is still some distance away mind, I'd be transferring home visits that are more than 15mins away to another team, haha so just seems odd to me. Like I say it doesnt seem to be an issue for them as yet, wonder if they've actually looked at the distance properly! Great that you've got an initial home visit arranged, it's so exciting at the min isn't it?  

Jules - Wohoo that's fantastic, and moving very quickly. So pleased for you. Crack the bubbly open, you deserve it   xx


----------



## AoC

YAY Jules!  You see?  We told you!    Very happy for you, sweets.

Srsly, Forever?  Fifteen minutes away would be another team?  Wowsers.  Here you can drive two hours and not cross a county border... and as far as I know there's only one team.    Living here has its bonuses, too.


----------



## geraniums

Hello Ladies   

Hope it's alright to join you on the chat thread.  I must confess to being a bit of a lurker this last month whilst we've been thinking things through and I want to say that your collective enthusiam, support and excitement, is making me feel positive about the adoption process.

To clarify our position at the moment, DH and I are exploring whether it's the right thing for us.  I know this may seem a little odd to a lot of you, because from reading what you've been posting it seems that even before getting to an Open Evening many of you are absolutely sure that adoption is what you want.  However, because of our jobs we've been on the receiving end of things when adoptions and long-term foster care placements break down and we feel a little cautious about things.  We've done a lot of talking and think our view of the process/system is being a little skewed by our experience and has been influencing how we feel about adoption as a whole.  So right now we want to get ourselves into an agency Open Evening asap, be given as much information as possible, talk to some experienced adopters with successful adoptions under their belts and then make a decision about whether to proceed. I hope no-one is upset or offended by what I've said, but I thought it was only fair on you all if I was totally honest about our situation right from the start; we're going into this in the hope that it's the right thing for us and we'll finally be able to make a family, but right now we're taking our first tentative steps forward.

Tonight though, I am feeling quite excited, as I think I may have found the right VA for us.  Those of you who read my questions about working for the Local Authority and using alternative agencies on the main section, will know that I've been feeling frustrated at being told we couldn't be accommodated by neighbouring LAs.  Having thought that there was only one VA working in our area and been told by them that they really only specialise in BME, older children and sibling placements I thought we were going to struggle, but I then found the CVAA website and using their postcode agency finder I've discovered one who I think will take us as we live within 50 miles of their head office.  I haven't been able to ring them yet, but have just spent ages reading their website and it's given me all the information I could possibly wish for and more.  I know it's sounds a bit odd getting so excited just from reading a website, but I had such a good feeling immediately.  The information they provided was so detailed and the support services they offer look superb, so I guess I'll be phoning them first thing in the hope they'll say yes to our attending their July Open Evening. Fingers crossed.   

Jules, I'm so glad all went well for you.      Did I manage to pm you last night in response to your message? It was so late and when I thought about it this morning I couldn't remember pressing send!   

Panorama, that's super news for you.  Congrats.

So, big    to everyone here and hope you don't mind taking on a slightly hesitant newbie.

Geraniums x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Jules fab news roll on Tuesday then think you are going to have a busy weekend x

Panaroma fantastic news so pleased for you xx


----------



## ratsy

hi ladies can i ask your opinions on sumthing im going to start my letter to apply to adopt tonight and im not sure to send it handwritten or typed im thinking handwritten looks more personal but typed on computer looks more professional .what did most of you do if you dont mind me asking. thanks ratsy xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sorry meant to say Hi to Geraniums. Sorry I can't really help but I am sure others will. 

Ratsy sorry can't help either as we had to phone! 

Dah not been much help tonight LOL but i am sure someone will help soon x


----------



## AoC

Welcome, Geraniums!  I did read your other thread, and I'm so glad it looks like you've found a solution. I know LA agencies are ofsted-ed - the reports make interesting reading.  I dunno about VAs, but it might be worth a look?  You sound a bit like me - always want to read around something and gather info before making a decision.   

I'm glad we come across positive, but I don't think we're blind to how horribly things can go wrong (or perhaps we are just a little bit usefully blinkered - I can imagine seeing what you do could really bring you down).  Personally, I think the adoption thread is different, and people have often been thinking about it for a long while before they come to post.  *shrug*  Just thinking aloud, really.   

I can remember shuffling reluctantly down the hall at home to where DH was playing on the computer.  It was autumn 2009 and we were just about to start our final IVF.  "Um.... darling?" I said. 

"Mmmm?"

"Just.... as a tentative, not committing to anything, not making a decision or anything, it's totally okay if you say no, and that...."

"Whaaaaat?"  *sounding worried*

"Would you be open to looking into adoption if this next treatment doesn't work?"

"Yes."

"Oh.  Cool."

ggg

It's been a long time brewing, for us.   

Ratsy, I never hand write anything if I can print it.  Doing the forms gave me hand cramps, because they were paper forms!  Oh, for an electronic one...


----------



## popsi

Jules & panorama..wonderful news how exciting xx
welcome to the newbies, its a great place to be, if i can help with anything just ask, things still fab here and living the dream xxx


----------



## Poochie1111

Panorama & Jules - just a flying visit to give you both a huge boohoo!!    Fabulous news for both of you!!

Hope everyone is well.

x


----------



## Irishlady

Fab news Jules and Panorama!!    Such wonderful news!!

xx


----------



## skyblu

Congratulations  Jules and Panorama.

Welcome - Geraniums.

Ratsy - we also phoned then they sent us a form to fill in and had a home visit a week later.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## brisvegas

YIIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEEE for Panorama & Jules

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## galaxy girl

WHooo HOOOO Panorama and Jules!!


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Panorama and Jules! Good luck with it all.

And cant remember who asked (its late lol) but we hand wrote our form and typed the accompanying statement!!

xx


----------



## panorama

Thanks everyone!   
Jules - excellent news! Not long to go for you to meet your LO's!     
Geraniums - I remember being in the exact position you are now a few years ago, took a while to get used to the idea but since starting HS and prep never looked back!   Good luck with the VA!
Forever - we went to an LA 50 minutes drive away and we shared the travel with them.
Right off to order a buggy and get some paint so I can start decorating!!   
p xx


----------



## nicpic

Jules - congratulations!! 
Ratsy - i emailed mine yesterday and did a combination.Ours had several packs. Like you deliberated what was best but they didn't leave enough room for my waffling on the personal and family history stuff so i retyped certain parts and did it in MS Word, handwrote some bits and scanned them. Anyway they didn't seem to care as they were straight back with an appointment. He said I'd written quite alot which would help with HS. I thought the upside to typing was they would be able to read it(!) and we wrote more as not restricted on space. I wrote a covering letter to just say that too (slightly obsessive!). 
Geraniums - i think your feelings are perfectly natural. I'm a newbie too and also of course have reservations but am keeping an open mind and what i do know is that i don't want more treatment and i do want a family and that if we are successful i wouldn't look back. Like someone else said i think (for self preservation) we tend to blinker our view to the negatives - that's how i manage anyway! You are right though, this thread is so positive - its certainly helping me.
Hi to all  
Nic xx


----------



## AoC

Yeah, I remember in the early days I was resentful that NHS funding and our financial situation meant we couldn't afford more treatment.  But it only took me a few months to realise that actually, if a windfall came our way, more treatment is the last thing I want.  As soon as I started to think in terms of a child out there somewhere, hurting, that we could help find security, love and happiness again, it became a no-brainer.


----------



## [Katie]

Hi Ladies.

Can I join you?

DH and I are due to start the prep course on July 11th and are really excited about getting things moving. It's been nearly 6 month since attending the information evening. We have had the agenda of the course come through. CRB checks are back and we have the form to complete our references. Our initial Social Worker has been lovely and since our initial meeting with her everything has seemed to go quite quickly. DH was diagnosed in April with a Malignant Melanoma and had a furter op to remove more of the area and do a lymph node tests. He was given the great news it hasn't spread in June so the Social Worker doesn't foresee any problems there.

Now got this thread on my notifications so I will try and get to know you all by reading each post. 

Katie x


----------



## julesF

its is lowly sinking in I broke down in the middle of a conference today with my colleagues, some of whom didn't know but my boss presented me with a huge bouquet - she has been so supportive


still so much to do but just wanted pop on and say thanks to all for their positivity and support it has been 3 yrs since i joined site when we were ICSI and it has been a great support, i can't believe that it is only 15mnths since our interview with our VA and we are matched!


to all those starting out its is scary, tough and emotional but stick with it, we were asked today what we wanted to be called mommy, mom, mum, mam etc
that really made it hit home, my advice get a strong support network around you as i have never lent so strongly on my friends as I have this last few months


----------



## Duckling

Panorama and Jules - *CONGRATULATIONS!!! and Wow!*

Hi and welcome Geraniums and Katie.

Ratsy I had to phone too, well dh did because I'm such a chicken but would probably type, though like you would spend ages deliberating!

Popsi lovely to see you and your positive messages still on here. Don't know if you remember me, (think same LA) but for your portfolio did you give specific examples for each question? I started answering it saying things like'As a teacher... I've had to deal with..' but sw says needed specific examples. If I do for each question think it may take months! 
Thanks, Duckling x


----------



## AoC

Welcome Katie!  And congratulations on your DH's all clear- that's fantastic.  

What a lovely thing for your boss to do, Jules!  

Hi Duckling.


----------



## watakerfuffle

Evening All

Just popping on to say hi and welcome to all newbies though I am still fairly new myself! Also lots of exciting news on here for some of you.  

Nothing to report my end as we have to wait until September for our Prep course. Every now and then I get a rush of impatience sweep over me however it has been 5 weeks since we were told we have been accepted for the prep and so I realise already that the days are rolling into weeks and September will soon be here, not that I am trying to wish away the Summer!!

In the mean time we were advised by the SW to get as much hands on with children as possible so last week my husband and I took care of my cousins 2 yr old boy for a few hrs to get the ball rolling so to speak. So we will continue to do as much as we can. I must also finish reading 'the primal wound'. Any other suggested reading for me?? 

Thanks


----------



## geraniums

Evening All

Thanks for all the welcomes and it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling nervous out there.

Jules, what a lovely gesture from your boss.  You must be so excited.

Katie, hello from another newbie. Good news about DH and hope all goes well for you.

AOC, I think I'm already feeling the same way about tx.  Even if we won the lottery and had money coming out of our ears I don't think I would. I think I've had enough and it certainly does not agree with my body.

Rang the VA at lunchtime today and still feeling v positive about them.  The lady I spoke was lovely.  She simply asked for our names and whether we lived within 50 miles of them and when I explained where we were, she was fine about it.  She was incredibly apologetic that a duty sw wasn't available immediately and said she was terribly sorry that a call tomorrow morning would be the earliest one could get back to us.  Well, seeing as it took me 6 days to get hold of one from an LA, you will understand why I am feeling impressed!  So, fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow.


----------



## julesF

we had an email from family finder today agency decision maker has ratified the panels recommendation
they have booked us a lovely 2 bedroomed cottage near the FC so LOs can stay over
its finally kicked in, only been 3 days since MP so still lots to do


----------



## geraniums

Jules, that's such lovely news.  I'm so pleased for you.  I bet you're on cloud 9 and all over the place at the same time!

I spent 50 mins on the phone to duty sw and came away absolutely convinced that they are the right agency for us.  We're going to the open evening next week, but can progress straight from there to initial interview - which seems to be very in-depth and with 2 sws - as I've already spoken to them.  I got around to reading their Ofsted today and it's Outstanding in all categories.  I was particularly impressed with their life-long support for both adopters and adoptees, not the least of which is a monthly lunchtime drop-in session just to touch base. SW did say that they're very busy this year and if we were to be accepted, the first prep course available is Nov. and there's no guarantees for that, but as the best an LA could offer was an open evening at the end of Sept. I can't see much time difference anyway.  The other thing she did say straight away, is that she would advise us to look at a singleton rather than siblings - as DH has a daughter from his previous marriage - and went on in detail to give us all the reasons.  It makes me feel as though the people at the other LAs who said they wouldn't take us unless 'you can make us an exceptional offer', didn't really have our, DSD's, or the prospective adoptees's best interests at heart and even more that this agency is the one for us.

Have a lovely weekend everyone.


----------



## julesF

geraniums, i am so pleased you have found a SW you are comfortable with our VA have been great planning is tuesday and intros that afternoon. we will also get matching certificate on tuesday.

its been a busy weekend getting the house straight and having to pack to spend 2 weeks away on intros, so i will be away for while but look forward to reading everyones news when i can get an internet connection


----------



## panorama

Jules - wow it is all happening soon!! Hope the intros go really well!!! How exciting! 
Geraniums - sounds great, enjoy the open evening!
Watakerfuffle - will be here before you know it! We had the same last year, first meeting July then officially started september and look at us now, will be less than a year since we first started and it has flown by!! 
Katie - welcome, really good to hear about your DH! Best of luck!
Hello everyone else, hope you're having a nice sunny weekend!
Been very busy shopping and decorating this weekend which has been FUN!  Nursery all painted now, just waiting for some furniture to arrive before doing the finishing touches. Looks great  Meeting foster carers on thursday and then matching panel next monday so all systems go! It's all so exciting! 
panorama xxx


----------



## LB125

Hello All,

I am posting  for the first time. I have followed FF for a number of years moving around the various boards(lurking only) depending on my fertility journey. However we have begun the adoption process (very excited and scared at the same time) and feel that I can (and want) to now join a thread for support instead of just lurking.

So hello again and please stick with me until i know what i am doing, hopefully this will post first time successfully


----------



## Duckling

Hi LB125 - just wanted to post to say welcome. I was very similar to you. Lurking round the boards whilst we did IVF, but then when we started adoption I felt I really wanted to join. We're coming to the end of our home study. I'm not very good at posting but wanted to say lots and lots of luck. 

Panorama - wow I can't wait to get to your stage! Jules too! Lots of luck for this week.
Geraniums - am really glad things are looking more sorted.
Hi Watakerfuffle - there's a section on here somewhere with suggested books that I used - really helpful, I know the wait is hard. x
Hi AoC.
Been flat out trying to finish our portfolio, trying to cover all our competencies. Not sure we're doing it right, on page 50!!
Have a good week,
Duckling x


----------



## LB125

Hello Duckling,

Thankyou so much for your welcome and the luck  .
We are coming up to our individual sessions next week. I said to my husband that in the past I have not had so much homework over such a long period without gaining a qualification! My husband informed that we are gaining a qualification - as such!!! lets hope we pass   as not sure there is any room for mitigating circumstances on this journey/ qualification.


----------



## skyblu

Welcome LB125 and good luck with your journey.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone just a flying visit. We have had a very sad weekend my father in law died on Saturday evening. i have just spoken to our SW as she was coming to see us tomorrow things are on hold for 3 months.    Good Luck to everyone and be back soon x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

AAA sorry to hear your very sad news.    

Sorry i have been AWOL for such a long time but since pickle arrived on 22nd June time has been very limited as you can imagine!   

DH and I are both exhausted but enjoying every minute of it and Pickle seems to be settling in well.

I haven't really had chance to read anyones news but just thought i pop on and say hi. 

Morning nap is nearly over now so the fun starts again!!!

All the best 

Mrs D xx


----------



## Tibevora

AAA Sorry to hear your sad news (((AAA)))

Mrs Dibbles - Good to hear it is going well, any hints and tips for me for a two year old? 

LB125 - You might not get a qualification but you do get lots and lots of paper in your report

JulesF - What a nice boss !

Hello    to everyone else 

I am not a regular poster but we have been linked with a wee boy who will be two in Sept. We were terrified at first but are slowly getting our heads around it as it happened much quicker than we had expected. We have MP on 14th July, planning meeting on 1st August and intros start on the 8th. Just some questions for the experts out there...

During the intros, I presume we end up eating up to three meals a day at the FC house, should I offer to take food or presmably they get extra expenses from the LA 

My WB calls FC Mummy as he has been there since close to birth, any hints and tips about transferring this to us? 

I am ordering equipment, childproofing house, finding out about local groups. letting my boss know, finalising the photo books etc ...is there anything else I need to be doing ? 

Thanks for any advice you can offer, there is going to be a "Twos group" on here soon LOL

Tib
x


----------



## geraniums

AAA, so sorry to learn of your sad news.  Sending


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

my advise to you Tibevora would be get as much sleep as possible now before your two year old arrives    It sounds like your doing all the right things to prepare yourself. Good luck.


----------



## skyblu

AAA - so sorry to hear sad news. Will be thinking of you and your dh.


----------



## Poochie1111

Just a flying visit to send AAA big     Sorry to read your sad news.

Hope everyone is well.  Not posting much at the moment but reading daily and keeping on top of everyone's progress.

x


----------



## LB125

Thank you to Skyblu and Tibevora for your messages.

Tibevora wishing you a joyous introduction with your WB and there after.
Skyblu have you been appointed a SW and started HS?

Hello to all  




AAA so sorry to hear your news.


----------



## panorama

AAA -   so very sorry   
Tibevora - lovely news! Good luck in matching panel, quite a few of us in the next few weeks!!   
LB125 - good luck with your hs, I found once hs started the months just flew!   
Duckling - wow sounds like a long one!   
Right off to bed, in less than 2 weeks we will have met our LO   
p x


----------



## skyblu

LB125 - NO we have not yet been appointed a SW or started HS.
We have our 3rd day at prep training on Friday and then 1 more next Friday so hopfully it wont be long before we start HS.
What about you, where are you at ?

I was told by mum today to get The Times paper as she was told there was  a big piece on adoption and how social services are failling children in care and that the adoption proses needs to be done much quicker.
It is a very intresting read and it is over 12 pages long, it is written by Martin Narey.
If I knew how to put the link up I would but unfortunately I haven't a clue how to do it, but maybe someone on hear will be able to google it and put it on or just google it.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## LB125

Morning All,

Skyblu we are having our individual interviews next week. We did our prep course together over 4 days it was emotional, challenging and exhausting. The Times article sounds very interesting, I will read it.

Panorama, reading your timescale made me tearful with excitement for you and me too thinking that this may now be an eventuality for my husband and I to have a family. As you said the weeks once booked in for homestudy appear to be racing by. However I am filled with near hysteria before (and during - but i disguise it well i hope) every visit. I am not an organised person out of work and struggle with deadlines, it makes me rebellious  . However of course I am buckling down and doing my work  . My husband has suddenly morphed into an A+ student, so have no choice. However there is atill a risk that the resulting shock from his about turn may render me stunned into paralysis!!!


----------



## [Katie]

Hello Everyone.

AAA - So very sorry about your FIL.   

julesF - I am so very excited for you. How far are you having to travel?

Duckling - Hope the Portfolio is going well.

AoC - All the best for your initial visit next week.

watakerfuffle - If we hadn't managed to get on this months prep course we would have been waiting until October. Our library had lots of books. I was advised to read the ones on Attachment and the Child's Journey through Adoption. Good luck.

geraniums - Have you been to the open evening yet?

panorama - Good luck tomorrow. Hope it all goes well.

LB125 - Have they said how long your home study will take?

Mrs Dibbles - Hope Pickle is settling in well. How wonderful.

Tibevora - Good luck for MP. I didn't think FC encourages children to call them 'mummy/daddy'. I am sure they will do the work of talking about you to him and referrign to you as Mummy, from what I have read and heard.

skyblu - How are you finding the prep course? Yours seems spread out too. We have ours next Monday and Friday and the same the following week.

AFM - DH and I are excited about starting prep course next week. I'm another year older as I turned 40 yesterday; must go and change my profile now, no escaping it!!

Katie xxx


----------



## LB125

Hello Katie,

Our social worker has not given us an exact time line but looking at the guidance I am hoping that if we proceed on course (any unforeseeable problems not withstanding) then we should be finished by November, (but I am only really making it up  ).


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

AAA......I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, lots of love to you and your DH   x

Tibevora.....I agree with everyone else (as Mummy to a 22 month old little boy)....GET LOTS OF SLEEP while you still can!   

Hi everyone else, lots of news on here recently! I try to keep up.

Luv Anj x


----------



## ♥Saila♥

We've just completed our prep course and have posted off our application to start our homestudy very nervous!


----------



## LB125

Hello Saila,

Congrats, I am new here too. we ahve started home study and have our individual meetigns next week. I became very excited when I saw your photo as we have two house rabbits. 2 lionlops one black and the other black and white. What breed is your rabbit (although I am sure we should be talking about children really).


----------



## panorama

Hi to everyone! Bit buzzing today cos met our LO's foster mum and she basically described him as an absolute dream baby! Sleeps from 8 - 8.30am and then nap in the day, eats everything apparently except marmite (& who can blame him!







) and is a very happy and content baby. Can't wait to meet him now!! Got most things now, been so busy shopping and decorating since last week! Waiting for some furniture to arrive next week and then can do finishing touches. Looking fab already







. Still hasn't totally sunk in that we will be parents soon, this whole process has been far too smooth sailing really! Not used to that!!







Feels great I must admit and wish we had done it sooner but that's the power of hindsight really.....








It's my b'day next week, I guess I will become a mum before reaching 40 after all!
Saila - good luck!
Anj - hope Nemo is well! 
Right off to hang some more little clothes in the wardrobe  
p xx


----------



## nicpic

Hi All,

Panorama - wow it must be sooo exciting. He sounds amazing!!!
AAA - sorry to hear you very sad news  

Just wanted a bit of advice or experiences shared. I took time out of work over the past year to focus on treatment and regroup really and now we have decided on adoption am thinking it makes sense to go back for a while to earn some money and also keep occupied. That said i want to allow time to focus on this process too. Have you all worked through this process and how have you found it working full time and finding time to complete the HS etc? How timeconsuming is it all? Will be looking to go back to my old work on a 6 month contract initially and then ideally extend it until fingers crossed we are successful and am thinking will ask them to consider a 4 day week if i need space to focus on the adoption process too.

Nic xx


----------



## panorama

Nicpic - it's a good idea as will make time go quicker! I work for myself so has never been a problem, but DH just took leave or worked from home for hs. It's not really that bad, I think 10 sessions of 2 hours in all? We didn't really have much homework altho I know each LA is different. Sometimes they can organise evening meetings too. I say go for it, they will ask however that one of you take about a year off once a child is placed with you, but this all depends on ages etc.
Good luck! x


----------



## julesF

hi all just though i would check on everyones news
the intros are going well but we are starting to find that the FCs although well meaning are boiled egg and clean vests, they care but they don't do anything with them, one's bike 2 puntures, the ball is flat, they life by the sea and they don't even have a bucket and spade and they live across the road from the beach, they mean well and are lovely people but not parents


----------



## Mrs ABA

Hello ladies,


I'm still on the ivf but this will be time 6 and if it doesn't work I would like to join you ladies.  DH's bro is adopted so something that we do in our family and something I could get very excited about.


But as for now I just wanted to say thank you to LB125 for the quote about the spark of heavenly fire.  I love it and have put it into my book of quotes to get me through IF. 


All best to all of you.


A
x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hi all,

Just popping in to say  , im still checking in and reading but just dont have much to report really. Not heard back from the VA we got all excited about who could of taken us on now, im assuming we were just too far away from their base, and even if they do get intouch now we aren't going to go with them as we are not impressed with them, poor contact and effort etc and it just doesn't feel right. Would of been nice to get the ball rolling so to speak but we are happier with waiting for our local VA to take us on in November, they have shown good customer service and interest so would rather be with them in a few months then a one that just doesnt impress.

We are starting plans to re-decorate our spare room, which at the min is a bit of a dumping ground for the ironing board and hover etc, so that it is displayed more as a bedroom for the social worker to see. It will be perfect for a LO.

Panorama - I am loving reading your posts, I cant wait to get to your stage, it sounds soooooo exciting. Please keep us updated on your amazing journey, it really makes me smile and gives us hope. Im sure you are but treasure and enjoy every min you lucky lady  

Xx


----------



## geraniums

Hi Everyone

Lovely to catch up with all your posts.  

Panorama, it sounds as though everything is going fantastically well.  That's great and long may it continue.  

Jules, can't believe they don't even have a bucket and spade.    LO is going to be very fortunate to be out of there and having you for a mummy.

Forever Hopeful, good luck with VA.

Katie, Happy belated birthday!  I hit 40 too earlier this year.  Hope you had as fab a birthday as I did.

  to everyone else.

We had our VA open evening on Weds and everyone there was as lovely as I had hoped.  We were extremely impressed with their philosophy, professionalism and organisation overall; particularly the lifelong support.  Amongst other things, they run activities for adopted children every holiday for younger and teenaged adoptees, so that they and their families can get together.  There is a mum's support group meeting every half term - apparently the Dad's did not manage to keep theirs going! - you can speak to a social worker whenever you need to no matter how long ago you adopted and obviously there's individualised specialised support when needed.  They also said that they haven't had an adoption breakdown for over 5 yrs, which given the stats I've been reading seems pretty good to me.  I don't know how this compares to other people's experiences of what LAs/VAs offer, so I'd be really interested to hear what anyone thinks about this.  We're still thinking about everything, but if we do decide to go ahead we are definitely going with them.

Have a good weekend.


----------



## Duckling

Hi,
AAA so sorry to hear your news    x.
Geraniums - glad Open Eve went well
Hi Forever Hopeful, Mrs ABA, Anjelissa, Mrs Dibbles, Skyblu, Poochie
Jules - great of you to let us know how it's going, you're going to give your lo such a great life
Nicpic - I went part-time during the IVF, have a crazy busy job and couldn't take time off, so helped me. Have kept part-time and has certainly helped me through this process, but I think everyone's different. Normally keeping busy works best for me, but it's been good for me to have a bit of slack.
Panorama - oh wow, it all sounds so brilliant!
LB125 - know exactly what you mean about the nerves, not sure if the fact I hide it so well that nobody notices is such a good thing.
Saila - lots of luck
Tibevora - how exciting! Hope you get some tips. Your questions are things I'd need to know too.
Katie - good luck for prep course
Sorry if I've forgotten anyone
Duckling x


----------



## libby29

WE HAVE A LINK!!!!     Our sw is coming out to see us about a 10 month old baby boy next week. Its not a competitive match, we are the only ones they want to see. So excited, tried to make a cake for a party today and i was shaking so much from just pure excitment i dropped the lot everywhere    (tasted good though lol).


----------



## panorama

Libby, that is fab news!!!!! Hope it's the one! Our LO is just 10 months old too!  Good luck!!
geraniums - sounds good!
Forever - I will try to, I know other similar stories kept me going through the whole process, never thought I'd get to this stage! 
Have a lovely weekend!
p xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

WoW Libby that's fantastic news   I've literally just screamed with excitement for you. Enjoy your weekend Xx


----------



## julesF

hi all
well we faced our worst fear on day 4 of intros we took the LOs to wacky warehouse, they had a great time, we are still in the honeymoon period! tomorrow is sandcastle building we grabbed some buckets and spades today....


Libby its a great feeling when you get linked, onwards to MP


i screamed with delight today as the LOs got into our first choice of schools, one was seriously oversubscribed and had appeals going on but 3 days after we posted the admissions forms we got what we requested...so happy the schools will be great for them


----------



## Poochie1111

Hi all   

Libby - that's fantastic news!!!  I bet you're so excited

Panorama - so glad everything is falling into to place.  You're LO sounds perfect! 

Jules - glad it's also going well for you.  They'll love the trip to the beach

Geraniums - sounds like you've got a good VA there.  The post care sounds good.  Like the idea of the mum support groups.  I don't think  our LA mentioned that with ours.

Nicpic - I current work full time and have save up loads of holiday to take of for the visits.  I'm not imagining it will be too time consuming with the home work.

There isn't too much to update at my end. Just really frustrated and very impatient as we're waiting to get going.  All the checks are complete now and the SW on our last visit in May said there was no waiting list to be allocated a SW and get going with the home study, but now it seems that it is and they don't know how long the wait will be. Communication isn't that brilliant there which is suprising as there website says they have an 'outstanding' Ofsted rating!  Hmmm!?! I guess after years of trying for a family and set backs along the way that it just feels like it just doesn't get any easier. 

I'm sure I'll feel a lot happier about things once we get going. It's great there are so many positive stories on here though.  It's giving me something to hope for as at the moment it doesn't feel like we'll ever get there.

x


----------



## sonia7

Hello Everyone


Hope you are all well. We have GOOD news    We have been LINKED to two children - brother and sister, boy age 2 and a girl age 4. We found out the news on our 9th Wedding Anniversary. The best wedding anniversary present ever. We started trying for our family 9 years ago. It still feels unreal. We are the only family now being considered. We are meeting the children's social worker next week. Its all systems go now in our house.     spin   


Hopefully matching panel will be in October time.  


Sonia x


----------



## julesF

sonia that is fantastic we were linked to our LOs start of april and MP was end of June we are in the middle of intros and it is great


best of luck


----------



## panorama

Sonia - that is fab news!!!! What a lovely anniversary present, looks like 9 is your lucky number eh?   Good luck with the meeting, great that it is not competitive, I know for us it made it much less pressured!    
Jules - glad intros are going well!! How much longer before you can bring them home? And great news about the schools!
Poochie - hope you get going soon! Unfortunately things do slow down in the summer, I know we had to wait till september to start last year, hope they get back to you soon, it is definitely frustrating!
Yesterday took the big step of going down the baby aisle in the supermarket!!!  I think I should take out shares in SMA and the Organix range now!   
panorama x


----------



## LB125

Hello All,

Oh, Sonia7 your news is fantastic, wishing you well throughout this time of waiting. I hope that I will one day be posting such exciting news, and yes 9 appears to be your number.

Panorama, In the past I used to walk down the baby aisle to cheer me up however there were times that all it did was make me very tearful. Thankfully with adoption I am again wistful. 

Libby, what great news. Good luck with all from now on.

Hi again to Duckling, Skyblu, Saila, Tibevora and all.

Work Tomorrow Boo Hoo

Work Tomorrow Boo Hoo


----------



## julesF

hi all intros continue we have done bedtime routine for second time and has the LOs all day where we are staying.....


we are doing morning routine tomorrow up at 6.30, then they are with us all day and their SW is visiting its long and tiring and I just want to get home with them, 8 more days and we go home.....


Review is tuesday so all being well we are on track


----------



## Poochie1111

Sonia - that's fantastic news!!  I agree - 9 is definitely your lucky number   

Jules - glad it all going so well Loving reading your updates!! The 8 days will fly...

x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Where is the time going? All is whizzing by which is good    

Hi to all the newbies and lots of luck on your journies    

AAA- so sorry to read your news sweetie.    

Jules- Glad intros are going well, have heard they are very very tiring xx

Panorama- hows shopping going xx

Poochie1111- sorry you are waiting around, hopefully won't be long till you get started.   

Sonia and Libby- congrats on being linked, is an amazing feeling isn't it.   

Anj- hope you and Nemo are doing ok x

Skyblu- hope all is well with you xx

LB125- hope work isn't too bad x

Duckling- hows everything with you x

Nicpic- we worked through homestudy, had the odd day where finished work early for s/w visits. Also, were both off on Mondays so s/w came on this day when possible. We both, at that time had the support from our bosses too which helped. Good luck xx

Geraniums- all sounds very positive to me. Our LA offers a meeting every couple of months (i think) at the local astrabound play centre and its open to all no matter how long ago you adopted. Think its a very good idea to keep in contact with others xx

Forever hopeful- hope you get a VA or LA you are comfortable with soon xx

Saila- hope you get started on homestudy very soon, try not to be nervous. We enjoyed ours very much. Found some interesting stuff out about each other, especially about what a little terror DH was as a child    

Katie- hope prep group goes well. x

Hi to anyone i have missed.

AFM, Is a very emotional time at the moment. We are a week away from M/P and should meet our oldest daughter in just over 2 wks if all goes well. We are doing bits and bobs in the house and have got their life story books to finish off. They having one each as being placed at different stages.
Work is still being a pain in the #### but have only got 8 1/2 days left to work their now and can't wait. Am getting worked up everyday i have to go in as never know what i'm going into anymore. Should be enjoying my last few weeks with the customers but its just being overshadowed. Anyhow, thinking about our girls gets me through.

Take care

sweets x x


----------



## sweets x

Nvb- welcome to adoption chat. Dont think it matters u not being married. They will prob contact ex partners, the others might be able to advice better on that one. 
It is hard at times with how invasive it can be but also its rewarding. Like a voyage of self discovery. Also, found things out about dh I didnt know. 
First thing I did was contact our LA. We had to wait six months following ivf and m/c. Some are a year and some are none. 
Good luck 
Sweets x x


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone!
Will come back with personals tomorrow but just wanted to let you know matching panel said yes!!!  Really excited now, one more week to meet our little guy!     Very emotional times!   
p xx


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations Panorama   How exciting!

xx


----------



## libby29

Panama, soooo happy for you, thats wonderful news   xx


----------



## sweets x

Panorama, thats fab news xxxxx


----------



## Poochie1111

Fab news Panorama!!! Yay!!  Celebrations tonight   

Nvb - welcome!!  As sweets says, the agencies will except most situations nowadays and I'm sure being unmarried shouldn't be a problem.  I've just looked at the website for my LA and they say they accept unmarried partners and single people. Why not call a couple to put your mind at rest?

Sweets - only 7 1/2 days now in work (since you posted this morning). Sorry work is being being a pain   .  It will be amazing to meet your daughter in 2 weeks    

x


----------



## skyblu

Congrats Panorama 

Nvb Welcome, I have just started the adoption proses and there is a single woman in our course so I am sure you not being married is not a problem. They do contact ex partners.
Give your LA a ring and I am sure they will put your mind to rest. Good luck.

Sweets, not long to go now, pity work are being a pain in the  and making your last days miserable.

Afm, 1 more day of prep left and then the waiting game for hs, hope it doesn't take to long!!!!!

Skyblu


----------



## AnneS

Morning all,

I just found my last posting on  .... page ELEVEN! Ooops, meant to be in tuch a little more often, but did read here a few times. It is a busy thread!

Where is Bop? Is she possibly on holidays? I tried to get in contact.

So, I try to say HELLO to everyone here, but please do not be offended if I miss out your name, it is purely by accident! Here goes:

JulesF, Duckling, Ratsy, Katie, AoC, Skyblu, watakerfuffle, geraniums, LB125, Panorama, AAA, Mrs Dibbles, Tibevora, Poochie1111, Angelissa, Saila, nicpic, Mrs ABA, Forever Hopeful, libby29, sonia7, sweets and everyone that I have not managed to name!

Afm, still waiting for August start of prep course, any ideas as what I could do meanwhile? What books did you read? We read about three between our two first meetings with lady from VA.

My colleague just appeared, so must go.

Take care.

Anne


----------



## nicpic

Hi All,
Panorama and Sonia - congratulations on your news- fantastic!!
Sweets - good luck with MP!
NVB - we had to be 6 months clear of fertility treatment and our LA asks that you are together with your partner for a minimum of 2 years. They aren't worried about being married but still look for a stable partnership irrespective. We had our first visit last night and they also asked if we had had any periods of separation. I think with the intrusion - its something we have to just accept as they have to be thorough and the way i see it is that if they get to know us fully then the match should be right so i try and see it as a positive.
Hi to everyone else. JulesF - glad your intros are going well! I can imagine you just want to get home and settle in though  


AFM - we had our initial visit last night and getting checks sent off in next couple of days. Hoping to book on Sept prep course and HS to start thereafter. Am not sure if he was just managing our expectations but said it can take 2 years after approval to be matched although i am reading lots of success stories of matches much sooner on here. For those who have been matched what did your LAs tell you in terms of timing? He did explain how the system for approved families works and that it often is just right timing and can move quicker. Guess we just need to get stuck in and see how we do. A positive meeting though and DH and I felt really excited at the end of it as he made us feel that it will happen for us as long as we are prepared to put in the time and effort. For the first time in 4 years we have started to excitedly discuss plans to extend our house and get a family car! We are of course a long way off but it feels good to be able to think about all that stuff and plan!
The thing that is causing me sleepless nights at the moment is the decision on one child or siblings. I know its something DH and I need to decide and there is no rush to make a final decision but the thought of 0-2 scares me although our SW said to think about whether we really ultimately want 2 children and if so and we would be upset in the long run then go for siblings now. I feel very confused as to the best thing as I had always hoped for more than one child but then don't want to take on too much and not cope. How have others reached their decision - if you don't mind sharing??
Nic xx


----------



## julesF

Hi all
well its is review day today with all the 3 SW and FC to see how things are going, I would say well, the LOs are very clingy, they don't trust adults much as they keep getting let down, then we have our first overnight. Its been draining but they are lovely, the boy will not play on his own or with other children while the girl will happily play on her own.


we just want to get home with them as the bed in our accommodation is like a plank of wood, so hard...
NVB don't worry about being married you just have to show you are in a stable long term relationship, and our SW never bothered with ex partners as there was no children involved, the process is intrusive and it opens up many wounds it made DH and I realise how well we knew each other and was very therapeutic, just be open and honest and have some tissues nearby i cried in every session


----------



## geraniums

Hi All

Just popping in very quickly...

Panorama,  brilliant news!  You must be over the moon!

Jules, glad all is still going well.  Hope the buckets and spades went down well and that SW is totally impressed.

Nicpic,  Glad things things seem to be moving for you.  I think it's totally understandable to feel the way you do right now and I'm sure everyone on here will have lots of good advice.

Nvb,  welcome aboard!

  to everyone else.  Sorry no more personals, but gotta run....!


----------



## libby29

Well feeling totally fed up today. Sw's been round with the file for the lo that we were linked to. We've had to turn him down   , lots of issues regarding contact ect... So gutted i could sob for a week. I know he has a mummy and daddy out there waiting for him but can't help but feel we've let him down. Never thought we would be in the position where we are turning down an child. When will we get there


----------



## emma.b

Just wanted to share our news that we have been approved at panel today for 2 children aged 0-5 years! So excited! 
Emma.b  
First started posting in 2004 I think, when we began ttc. Glad our journey to become a family is nearly complete. Good luck to everyone else.


----------



## panorama

Hello again 
Emma - congrats! Hope you get matched very soon!!
nvb - hope you will be walking down the baby aisle very soon  Hope you hear back soon! A strong relationship is a great foundation, we also suffered many years of pain with IF and it now seems like a big cloud has lifted 
Libby -   so sorry to hear it wasn't to be but it definitely has to feel right. Everything crossed you find the right match very soon   
Jules - hope the review went well, sounds like you are doing well, not too much longer before you can go home! 
Nic - it can vary but it only took us 3 months to get matched so it can happen quite quick, all crossed you can start soon!
Anne - good idea to join Adoption UK, their magazines have great articles to read
Skyblu - hope prep course has gone well and hope hs can start soon!
Sweets  -not long now!!
Right think I have mentioned most people, time for bed now!  DH finished his job today, he gets a whopping 6 months off from work fully paid, very lucky! He came home with a bunch of flowers for me and some gap vouchers and a bottle of champagne from his work colleagues, think he felt like a preggo lady minus the bump!     It's my b'day tomorrow so plan on getting very spoilt and maybe a bit tipsy in the evening while I still can   
p xx


----------



## skyblu

Libby    as the others have said, it has to feel right for you, doesn't make it any easier though I am sure  

Panorama - HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR TOMORROW 

AAA - How are you and dh doing hun? 

Hello all and hope all is well

Skyblu.xx


----------



## julesF

great to read everyones news
  Libby a tough decision but it has to be right


review went well hand over is next monday, provided overnight visit home on friday goes well and the LOs have no fears or anxieties


tonight was their first sleepover, bed at 7, took an hour to settle as they have to share a room in the accommodation we are in during introductions, lots of excited giggles, but no sound asleep, up for the toilet occassionally but overall really good


----------



## AnneS

Mornign all,

managed to get floored by a bug yesterday. Went to work and suddenly felt very unwell. Was basically sent home by my colleague - haha! She is a lovely person and was so concerned about me. When I came home and looked in the mirror, I understood why. After a bad night and the bug taking hold of me I looked a bit, well, ill   .

Anyway, am home today but already miles better. Thought I keep up with you guys for a change, so here I am!

Nicpic - I understand that you are undecided, I don't think that in itself is a bad thing, just human nature. The fact that you write here and question yourself will eventually help you make that decision. We decided rather early to consider a sibling group because we always wanted more than one child and we think we will 'test' this decision/idea against the reality we will be confronted with during the prep course and the whole adoption process. Good luck with your journey!!

Libby 29 - my heart goes out to you and your DH. But it sounds like you made a considered and informed decision and one that you cannot risk making with your heart alone. For your sake and the child's. Take care   

nvb - meet you in the baby aisle in Asda one day ?   

Emma b - congratulations!!!!!!! I hope the matchign goes well for you.   

Panorama - thanks for the tip and what a lovely Dh you have (and his colleagues!). Great to hear that some work places are supportive. And a   very   Happy Birthday   to you    

JulesF - How exciting, I love to read about your progress with LOs. All the very best to you and your family   


Sorry, I seem to be over fond of those emoticons today. Hard to believe that on paper I am an adult ...   

A question: I am a little confused about the order of things in the adoption process: I realise that different LAs do different things, especialy across the UK. I am in Scotland and when we enquired about adoption we were firmly guided to a voluntary agency. The lady we met with twice was very nice and knowledgable. We did not have anything like an open evening with other people and only filled out a relatively brief form (4 pages or so) to get the meeting arranged. Then she put an application (recommendation?) forward to her boss for us to be accepted onto the prep course. I do not think they call it a prep course. Anyway, we do understand that the VA is doing the initial vetting and prep course on behalf of the LA. But when will we be meetign our social worker? Will a SW do our home visits or a person from the VA? Are the VA people (trained) social workers as well? I did not think so. How come some people on here seem to have gone through some form of vetting before the prep course? Any comments gratefully received. Excuse my poor spelling!

Take care

Anne S


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Libby, we turned down our first link as well which was also mainly due to contact issues with birth family. Nothing really prepares you for how hard turning a child down is and how bad it makes you feel. I remember getting off the phone and sobbing my heart out. What you have to remember is, you have to be sure with a match or you are letting yourself and the child down by going ahead with it. There will be a mummy and daddy for that child and there will be a child for you too. Big hugs and take care.      Mrs Dibbles    

Jules, glad the intros are going well.

Just going to have a well earned cuppa now while the little man is asleep.

Hi to all x x


----------



## julesF

Hi all


anne - we went with a VA and it has taken 15mnths approx from start to finish, the SW who did our initial meeting has been with us throughout the process, w ehad an initial enquiry form then an application form then medicals, financial assessments and more forms, all agencies do it differnetly but sounds like you are into the process, everyone has to do all a prep course though it varies we did 4 days, some people do one day a week but it was invaluable
best if luck


----------



## geraniums

Hi Everyone

Libby,    it must have been a very tough - but clearly right - decision for you.

Jules,  glad all still going well.

Panorama,  enjoy your birthday!

emmab, great news about your approval

Anne, I have approached a VA.  I had long phone conversation with duty sw, then we went to the open evening.  Am told that if we want to continue, will need to have initial interview with 2 swers at the VA - approx 2 hrs and asking DH some of the same questions I answered over the phone -followed by a home visit to assess our suitability, then on to prep course if accepted, home study, matching panel etc.  Hope this helps.

Hope everyone else is well.


----------



## libby29

Thanks everyone for your kind words, means so much! Still reeling from it if i'm honest. Have phoned work and my lovely boss has given me tomorrow off as am feeling on the verge of tears all the time. Just need to stand up, brush ourselve's down and soldier on. Hope your all well and thanks again all! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps   

Libby-      bless you hunny, its so so hard isn't it. We too turned down our first link due to contact issues. Its really hard to get your head round isn't it. I kept saying to DH that we could do this or do that about the link but he was the strong one, which now i am glad as we have our girls. Everything happens for a reason hun, no matter how painful it is. Hope you feel stronger in a few days x x 

JulesF- Glad all is going well, bet you are so excited for Monday. x

Panorama- Happy Birthday hun, hope you had a bit of fizz. Thats fab your dh gets that long off work. Roll on next week, bet your both buzzing with excitement at the moment.

Emma b- huge congratulations to you both. Hope your wait to being matched is a short one.

Poochie 1111- thanks hun, 6 1/2 days to go now      

Nicpic- Its a very difficult decision on going for a singleton or siblings. Dh and I both have 3 brothers and sisters so knew we wanted a sibling group. We wanted our children to have the link we have with our siblings. Also, i thought i'd like them to have a link to each other, also, thought with them being adopted they would know how each other feels if that makes sense. 

Anne- hope you are feeling better.

Hope everyone else is well.

Cannot believe how close we are to matching panel. Is scary     
Have just finished the girls life story books. They are brill even if i say so myself lol. Have really enjoyed doing them.
Work is still being a right pain. They are docking my wages by £1.50 as i left at 4.45pm yesterday instead of 5.00pm.
They are really clutching at straws now. Roll on a week on saturday, will be party time   

Take care

sweets x x


----------



## AnneS

Morning all,

just a quick read before work starts   .
And to report: Second day of sunshine in Edinburgh!!! WOW. Can you believe it?? No, me neither.

Sorry, it is just so special, I had to share the weather with you all ...

Take care everyone.

C Anne


----------



## pumpkin23

Hello Everyone
I haven't posted on here for a while as we have been busy with home study and lots of homework! Today we took our friends little girl out with the SW observing us, I was a bit nervous but she was really good and I think SW could see we are capable. She fell asleep on my DH shoulders walking home as we tired her out. When we got back to the house SW gave us some unwanted news our panel date has been put back a fornight!   apparently we were the only couple going to panel on our original date and it wasn't financially viable to hold it!! Gutted and annoyed as it was only two weeks away now we have to wait four weeks.
Hope everyone is well.
Take care 
Pumpkin


----------



## AoC

Sorry it's been delayed, Pumpkin!  ((((hugs)))  But yay on the good home visit.  

We had an initial home visit yesterday, and I think it went really well.    Apparently we're at the head of a 4 - 6 week process (with another visit coming) which will end with a recommendation over whether we should apply or not.  That sounds fine to us.  I was really proud of myself for not turning into rabid-house-cleaning-woman and being a bit relaxed about how our house appeared.  I tidied and cleaned, sure, but didn't go OTT.

She told us our house would need to pass a hygeine test - anyone know what's involved in that?


----------



## AoC

I have another quick question:  We have four cats, and we love them.  Are there any circumstances where they might ask us to get rid of them?  Please say no!


----------



## Tarango

Hi AoC (and everyone else)
Just a quick reply as running out of the door - or as quick as we do these days!   
I don't know what a hygiene test is - but I'm sure you'll be ok! I can't believe they would do a 'Kim and Aggie' and take samples and send them off for analysis!   


On the cat front, we have 2 and it wasn't an issue at all for the adoption but our SWer was allergic so we had to keep them out the way when we had SW visits. 
One of the other couples on our prep course were asked if they would get rid of their 2 (v. elderly) cats of their LO turned out to have asthma - they said no they wouldn't but would do what ever else to keep LO's (possible chance of) asthma to a minimum. SS were fine with this.


I'm sure your cats are just like ours and are part of the family, so why should you have to say you'd get rid of them - pets are good!


Anyways, off my high horse   


hello to everyone else - I will pop back later when Spike (aka my new workout trying to keep up with him!) has worn himself out and has gone for his afternoon nap)
xxxx


----------



## AoC

Thanks, Tarango.    Hubby and I agreed we wouldn't give them up - we'd just be so guilty and grief-stricken, after rescuing these cats and giving them a better life, meeting their needs, coaxing them out of their shyness and fear, loving them... to just discard them when they feel safe and secure in their home would feel too terrible.  I'd never forgive myself.  We'd be a mess, and not fit to cope with a placement.

I know some reading will think we're crazy, and I know they're 'just cats'.  But that's how we feel!  

Hope it won't come up, or if it does, reasonable precautions are okay.


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi AoC,

Our little cat (Millie) is our baby too and our views on it were that surely it says a lot about you as people that you have made a commitment to a little creature who is loved as one of the family. Surely there's an argument that if they were to suggest to anyone to get rid of their pets what does it say about the person agreeing to do that if that's the case?
We have 2 babies, our little man and our little lady and there is no way on Earth that we'd have got rid of her, we'd have just had to go with a different LA or another route. 
Pets are good for children and part of everyday life anyway (obviously within reason).
We just had to fill in a pet form answering a few questions and that was it really.
I wouldn't worry, you wont have to get rid of your babies   and if they do raise an objection, as I said, surely it speaks volumes of you as loving caring people who don't take your commitments and responsibilities to others lightly.

Luv Anj x


----------



## ♥Saila♥

We've been assigned a social worker and are just waiting to start the homestudy   

How long did peoples home studies take? I'm soooo impatient but aren't we all


----------



## libby29

Hi saila, hs can really vary and i think it all depends on sw/prospective adopters ratio. We were told at the end of prep that guild lines say they have to have hs wrapped up 8mnths from start of prep. We finished prep in dec and finished hs end of march. Our sw worked full time though and i worked part time so was relitively easy to fit in appointments, you will have to bare this in mind as some sw work part time. Ours didn't work week ends but i think some do and some will even do evenings. It really helped us by having all our potential appointment dates from the first app as we could sort out work etc. Things very often change though but its a good starting base. Our sw said at the beginning she would book 10 appointments but we ending up doing just 8. Goodluck with it, we really enjoyed it! x


----------



## julesF

Aoc fear not i have a friend with 7 cats and she has just been approved


Salia - our HS took 2 mnths, 7 visits 2/4 hrs each time and homework!
it was therapeutic and we look back with some fondness at the experience as it showed DH how well we knew each other


well they are here for their visit to their new home and a stay overnight then back up the motorway for goodbyes with FC, they settled well but the little girl is worried her FC will forget her and she is going to miss them, she has been with them a yr in August, we keep reassuring her,  this always comes up at bedtime, we have a clear bedtime routine which they didn't at FC so we think it is a delaying tactic to avoid having to go to sleep any advice?


handover provided weekend goes well is monday so will be home by lunchtime all being well


----------



## AoC

Thanks Anjelissa.  I'm sure it will be fine, but you get these little niggles...  

Yay Salia!   I don't know how long it takes, I'm afraid.  I'm just enjoying not being up against the clock like you are with IVF.  Our SW for the pre-assessment is part time, but she's willing to do evenings, too.  I hope through home study it will be the same, then we can give and take, and make a mix of time off work, and evening appts.

Hi Libby.  

Thanks for that, Jules!    And hooray for your visits and handover date!  No advice on bed time and missing the FC, I'm afraid, but I'd say just keeping reassuring her while she adjusts is the way to go.  It'll take time.  (((hugs)))


----------



## Arrows

hiya, been a long time since I've been on here but finally been assigned a social worker and start home study on 28th July. FINALLY!


----------



## Poochie1111

Arrows - that's great news!!!  The wait to be allocated is awful isn't it? It's driving me insane.

Salia - good news on your front too. The length of the H/S depends on your agency.  Ours says 5/6 months until panel.  Others on here have been quicker and some longer.

Jules - Yay for your handover date tomorrow!  Hope it all goes well


----------



## Arrows

I agree poochie!


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone
D-day is tomorrow when we meet our LO for a few hours! Very excited but I am a bit livid because apparently as they were unable to get hold of the birth parents last few weeks they are having their final contact on wednesday   . So we don't get to see him wednesday now which is very annoying! And delays us bringing him home for a day next week, not that fussed about that but the they want us to meet the birth parents next week too. And my sister (she's a GP) says that she would not meet them at all for security reasons and I must say I am a bit worried about that too and don't really know what the point of meeting them is really. They only ever lived with LO for 3 months and will have the letterbox once a year anyway so don't see what it will achieve. Think I need to talk to SW tomorrow, next week will be raw and emotional for everyone and I just don't want that spoiling what should be the best week of our lives.
But very excited about tomorrow anyway!


----------



## julesF

just a quickie as i am pulling my hair out   .....i keep getting told by the kids but our FC said.......blah blah blah


but they are home and with time


----------



## Poochie1111

Good luck tomorrow Panorama.   I'm sure you'll enjoy every moment!! It's come around so quickly. 

I can imagine why you're apprehensive about seeing the birth parents.  I would be too. Especially in the same week as well. Not sure I would want to meet them myself though but I know they encourage it nowadays. Hope it goes well   

Jules - yay, they're home!!!!!!!!   I'm sure it will pass soon as soon as they settle down.

Hello all


----------



## pumpkin23

Congratulations on them being at their forever home Jules , I'm sure they will settle in well and will stop saying it soon - being with FC is all they have known for a while    but it must be hard - just bite your tongue!
Good luck for tomorrow Panorama    - I don't think I would like to meet birth parents either, that's something we would have to discuss in great detail with our SW
Good luck to everyone else whatever your stage.   
We are just playing the waiting game, have a few bits to do for our SW for her to do our PAR. She is finally seeing our references this week. Just still annoyed panel date has been moved    but we will get there
Take care
Pumpkin


----------



## Miny Moo

Panorama, I can understand you being apprehensive of meeting the BP of little one, we were supposed to meet our son's BM but she did not turn up and our meeting with maternal GM was cancelled due to adverse weather condition's. I would have liked to have meet them just so that we could tell our son one day, the meetings would not have been for our or the BF's sake but for our son's.

Well, today we made contact with our old SW (she jumped ship just after our son was placed to a new agency) and have started the ball rolling for number 2, we want to get the summer holiday's out of the way 1st and once DS is back at school she is going to come and do our initial visit, so it looks like we are so going to be prospective adopters again, we must be


----------



## skyblu

Well we finally finished the prep course 
Now we have the wait for h/s 
Did anyone else feel a little bereft after the prep course?
I don't know what it is, but I just feel a little down. 
I think it's because I met some great people at the course who are going through
the same thing and know how I feel .
I know I will see some of them again in different training courses, it was just I got used to seeing them every week
and now I feel cut off again.
Did anyone else feel like this or am I just to sensitive?

Jules- I am so glad you have your los home and safe with you and I am sure once they settle a bit more
they will stop asking about f/c. Well done on completing your journey. 

Panorama - good luck for tomorrow 

Hello everyone I missed

Skyblu.xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps
Hope everyone is ok
Just a quick one today
Jules- hope littlies are settling x
Panorama- hope today goes ok for you x X

Well, we got matching panel today. Can't believe  that  today is actually here  
Take care
Sweets x x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all , 
Just a couple of personals.......

sweets.......lots of luck for today   enjoy your celebration later!   

panorama.....Have a wonderful day, the moment you first meet your lo is a moment you will never forget.  

skyblu.....I just wanted to say that we are still good friends with 4 couples from our prep course (I meet up with 2 of the girls and their lo's every week for a playdate, and another of the girls every few weeks) plus every so often we all get together as a group (they are all coming over ours in Aug for an afternoon tea). 
We made a real effort to keep in touch prior to our lo's being placed and by the time our lo's arrived we were all already firm friends. It's so lovely to all be of great support to each other and to know that we'll always completely understand each others various issues that may arise in the future.
Our lo's will grow up with each other and so not feel so 'different' as they start to understand about their beginnings.
I just wanted you to know that the end of prep-course can be just the beginning for the friendships you made there   

Luv Anj x


----------



## sugar-fairy

Hi everyone


Have spent most of the morning reading over this thread and and truely inspired by you all. As someone who is just thinking if adoption would be for us I am hoping for some advice.  Very brief history - I have a 13yr old DD from a previous marriage and me and DH have been trying for a baby since we married 3.5 yrs ago.  I never thought that DH would be interested in adopting but the other night he talked about an article in a paper about adoption and we discussed the possibility of adopting a child. I sent a request to an adoption site for some information but dont know who to contact about registering our interest. Not entirely sure who our LA or Va would be. We live in South Wales and assume that the LA is our local social service department and that the VA are Banardos or St Davids Childrens Society. Do you just call them and tell them you are interested or is there something you need to do first.  DH is open to finding out more.
Thank you all for reading and like I said any advice is more than welcome (sorry if this post is incredibly naive)


Tess xx


----------



## Poochie1111

Sweets - good luck today  

Welcome Tess - The AdoptionUK website is a good place to start. You can search for your local agencies here http://www.adoptionuk.org/area_search/100172/100262/102988/find_an_agency/

Our local council has full details on their website about theirs so it may be worth you checking that too.

They all operate slightly differently, but most want you to attend an open information evening to start with (usually run monthly) before you can register your interest. Ours handed out the forms that night for us to send back in. You could just turn up on the night at ours, but others may want to book a place.

Good luck

/links


----------



## sugar-fairy

Thank you Poochie


I have looked on that website and found our LA and VA. I have emailed a few LA's and said that we are interested but know nothing and could they help point us in the right direction. How do you decide on who you register with, I am assuming that you only register with one place.  


Thanks for you help


----------



## sweets x

We got a unanimous 100% yes.  S/w's have to go back to panel next month to get us approved for the youngest one but all intros to take place as previously arranged. We meet our eldest daughter a week on Thursday


----------



## panorama

Sweets - congrats, so so pleased for you! 
We just got back from meeting our son which was just amazing!! Got to the FC's house and he was having his lunch, he let me help him finish it off but he was looking at us quizically, very funny!  Weird too! 
Then we got him all to ourselves in their front room for 2 hours, after about half an hour he was giggling away and commando crawling round the room like a little torpedo, so funny! He was then quite comfortable with me holding him for a bit while playing with him and also with DH, his giggles were just to die for!  And he likes posing for the camera! It was funny but I never thought you would get a bond so soon but really am just so in love....  Can't wait to see him again on thursday! We'll be spending most of the day with him then and the next few days and will get to come to ours from monday and then permanently from next thurs, can't wait!! 
For all of you still going through the process and waiting for your LO's hang on in there, never thought I'd get to this day but little miracles can happen!!!!!   
p xxxx


----------



## liveinhope

Wow such lovely news on here today.  Good luck Panorama and Sweets!!

xx


----------



## Kaytie

Congratulations Sweets, you must be over the moon. All the best.

Panorama, you're just bursting with joy, I can tell from your message. Really nice that it went so well today and all the best for the next week.


----------



## AoC

Congratulations Sweets and Panorama!!!    

Good luck Sugar Fairy!  Sounds like you're doing the right things.


----------



## nicpic

Congratulations Sweets and Panorama - really exciting news for you both!!!
Hi to everyone else.

Just waiting to get on prep course hopefully in Sept so will be quiet till then but will continue to read all the news regularly!!


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

panorama said:


> It was funny but I never thought you would get a bond so soon but really am just so in love....


It is amazing isn't it. I also couldn't believe how quickly the bond could come. Yes we have our ups and down but I genuinely love my little pickle more and more each day.

Congrats to sweets as well xxx


----------



## julesF

Mrs Dibbles so pleased the bound is growing I read your posts and hope I will begin to feel something soon for our 2 LOs


----------



## Miny Moo

JulesF - your 2 like my son are older children, they come with their own personalities, and really it's like living with stranger's, it comes believe me, I think I realized with a random moment in the bank when one of the staff memebers said something to my son and I wanted to knock her head off!!!!

It's really very early day's for you you will all still be living on adrenaling at the moment, try and be easy on yourself x


----------



## Poochie1111

Sweets - congratulations!!!!!     Fab news! Hope the next week goes quickly for you.

Panorama - so glad it went well today. He sounds gorgeous   

Tess - it's a case of which one feel right for you.  Maybe go to a few open evenings and see which one your feel happier with.

x


----------



## skyblu

Sweets congrats, we all knew you would fly through it 

Panorama - so glad today went well, I bet you cant wait until he is yours to take home. Good luck.

Anj - Thank you so much for replying to my post.
When we left the course last week, we all took each others emails addresses and said we will all meet up again, trouble is, that 
we are made of 3 different counties we are the only couple who live outside the county that the others are in, so to meet up with anyone 
will be at least a 40 mile journey.
I don't mind doing this but realistically I don't think it will happen often.
We are meeting again in 2 weeks so hopfully we will be able to set something up.
Thanks again.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## Arrows

skyblu, do you mind me asking which county you are in? Feel free to PM me -just we're in a similar situation. We start our homestudy next week but are part of a consortium so people from a number of counties were at the prep course.


----------



## Irishlady

Such wonderful news sweets and panorama   

xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hello everyone  

There's so many happy stories and good news on here at the min, I'm really enjoying catching up and reading all the positive outcomes, it really cheers me up.

We are still on the hunt for the right VA, it's hard deciding who is the one to go with. There's so many in our area. I was recommended that the BAAF website has a search for local agencies when you put your postcode in, I thought I knew them all but then did the search and there's more! We've made contact with a one I hadn't heard of before, I was really impressed with their welcoming website and in-depth enquiry form, plus they have a recent outstanding Ofsted report. The other agencies have just asked for basic info and contact details but these had a full form where you could express personality and explain your own situation in detail. They've contacted us straight away and all sounds positive. Should be hearing from a SW this week to arrange an initial homevisit and there's a Prep course in Oct they are going to try and get us on. Fingers crossed that works out coz the next one isn't until Feb! They've been very friendly and welcoming and seem positive and pro-active. We've spoke with a few agencies who havn't impressed, the only other agency that we liked said to ring back in Oct, so not quite as pro-active as this new one.
WoW I've really ranted on their like!

I have a question for the group, when having your initial home visit did you mention that you were apart of this forum? I hadn't planned on doing so however I've been asked by one agency whether I've spoke with any adoption support groups or with ppl who have adopted or are going through the process. Do you think being on this support forum is viewed positively?

Also those with pets, I also have a few pets including 2 dogs, 1 cat, 2 rabbits. Do any of you have dogs? If so were the dogs assessed on their suitability of being around children, and when matching do they take the dogs into consideration ie: only matching LO's who are comfortable around children? I ask as we have 2 spaniels, both are great and safe to have with children, but 1 gets very excited when new ppl arrive in the house, I'm concerned the SW will judge this in the wrong way (especially if they are not dog ppl). She calms down quickly and is in training to control it better, and when ever she is around LO's she is so gentle and soft with them, no risk at all. But it's those 1st impressions that count and I don't want a SW walking in seeing her all excited and writing us off straight away. They are both caged trained so could just cage her up for the home visits, but then worry that they will think she needs caging as is unsafe around ppl or think we are cruel for cage training her. 

I've rambled again, sorry, any thoughts and advise?

X


----------



## [Katie]

Hi Everyone.

WOW, what a lot to catch up on! And what great news, makes me feel so positive.   

Panorama - Happy birthday for last week and what a birthday present, matched and met son, which sounded like just the best present ever. How wonderful. Having discussed contact in prep course Monday I can understand how you will be feeling about meeting BP and you don't have to do anything you are not comfortable with. 

Sweets - Congratulations on your unanimous matching panel result. Hope all goes well next Thursday.

skyblu - DH have said we would love to keep in touch with people from our prep course which finishes on Friday. I guess we will exchange contact details. I too have been enjoying it and meeting everyone and will miss the fact we are doing something so proactive towards the adoption process. Hope you don't wait too long for SW and H/S.

emma.b - Congratulations on being approved. Hope you are linked soon.

libby29 -   What a difficult decision you had to make but the right one if it didn't feel right. Hope another link comes long soon.

julesF - Have loved reading about your intros and congratulations on having your LOs home with you. It must have been so exhausting. 

Hello to everyone else, LB125, Anj, Saila, nicpic, Forever Hopefull, geraniums, Duckling, Poochie1111, Sonia7, NvB, AnneS, Mrs Dibbles, pumpkin23, AoC, Arrows and anyone else I have missed. 

Our prep course has been very informative and enjoyable and we have met some lovely people. Quite surprised but glad of the wide spectrum of 'offers'. Been warned it could be 6 months before SW is allocated. Last day Friday as it has been spread over 2 weeks. DH and I are keener than ever to proceed. 

Katie xx


----------



## geraniums

Panorama and Sweets,  fantastic news!  So pleased for you both.   

Jules, hang on in there hun.  I'm sure they'll swiftly get over this stage and will soon be saying, 'Well, my Mum says...'

Just a quickie, so hello to everyone else and hope you're all good.


----------



## julesF

Thanks guys for all the positivity, slowly the FCs are being forgotten, though their SW visits friday so they may creep back in they haven't wanted to call them, they can't anyway they have taken a 3 week hol abroad!


----------



## ♥Saila♥

Awww Jules sounds like things are getting better.

I have my first Homestudy visit with the Social Worker on the 2nd of August   

Really worried about the financial side of things... what does it entail? xxx


----------



## sugar-fairy

Hi all


Jules sounds like your lo's are settling in well and adapting to their new mummy and daddy. Hope it is as amazing as you hoped it would be.
Saila good luck with the home study. I am sure that it will go smoothly 
Forever Hopeful - we are looking to find the right agency as well. I have spoken to our LA and to St Davids and they are both sounding good. Should have their information packs very soon and could even attend a briefing evening in September.  How are you finding the search? I am still a bit confused as to who we should choose.
Poochie hope you are ok
Hope everyone else is ok, still trying to read all of your stories and catch up with everyone. Hope everyone has a great weekend.


----------



## Duckling

Hi,
So much to catch up on!
Sweets - Congratulations!!
Panorama - So so exciting - keep us informed!
Emma b - Congratulations!
Anne - I did loads of reading. There's a great booklist on here.
Sonia - congratulations on link!
Pumpkin - we had loads of homework too. Really sorry panel put your date back.
Saila - our home study took just under 5 months. The sw did go on holiday in the middle, but left us loads of homework. Good luck.
Arrows - lovely to hear from you, good luck with hs.
Skyblu - horray prep course finished, hope given sw before too long. You're not being sensitive, I felt the same. The course made me feel so much better, meeting normal people in the same situation as us.
Katie - glad prep went well. Hope not too long before allocated sw.
Jules - glad los settling. You are doing brilliantly!
Libby -  . Am dreading having to make that decision. x
Hi to everyone else - sorry - haven't managed to mention everyone. xx
Hope to go to approval panel beginning of September - fingers crossed
Love Duckling x


----------



## ♥Saila♥

5 months doesn't seem long at all    We were expecting six to eight months but just hope it doesn't take longer


----------



## julesF

well we had the first major strop today after 3 chances she still carried on with the crocodile tears and wailing and wouldn't go to see the Dr for her medical check up so as I threatened an early night so it had to be...lets see what the morning brings as she was asleep when i checked on her.....


I have again got angry at the FC 7yr old has a scabby scalp not sure over what, has been there for mnths apparently and Dr has prescribed special shampoo they have only been here 4 days and we spotted it what about the FC what where they doing for 18mnths!


well its the SW visit tomorrow to see how we are settling in.....i just want to tell her how useless the FC were, they haven't even texted to see how things are going - we aren't surprised at all


----------



## watakerfuffle

Evening All

Just been catching up on all the goings on here, lots of news as usual and new people, so hello and welcome. 

Well we are apparently now officially on the road to adoption, application forms completed and collected by SW today and our CRB forms completed by SW today and also our medical forms done! Now just waiting for our prep course in September, not long now. Only down side of today was that the SW said that because of the financial cuts there may well be a long wait for us to be allocated a SW for home study :O( but at least we are moving along the journey. Night all x


----------



## nicpic

Jules- enjoying reading your posts as this is the reality! Bit naughty of FCs - when i got my kitten the previous owners texted regularly to ask how he was!! That's bizarre that they have not about children they have cared for. Good luck though and hope it all settles down, although i fear tantrums don't. I was having them well into my teens  
Watakerfuffle - hi. We are at the same stage by the looks of it. CRB and medical in progress for us and Sept prep course. We have also been told the same - may be a wait for a SW but fingers crossed its not too long for either of us.
Hi to all 

Nic xx


----------



## thespouses

Well!

We've been sent details of a possible match and we're discussing it over the next few days - we are really not sure if it's for us - aaargh!

There are some tricky medical issues but not outside our comfort zone, but it's the ethnicity issue we are not sure about! I'm annoyed at myself/us about this actually as I thought we had that done and dusted and had decided what we were comfortable with, but this situation just seems to click in all other aspects, for me anyway (I'm away from home at the moment hence we aren't going to be able to discuss it face to face for a couple of days).

As some of you know we're adopting from the country I'm a citizen of but it's a country with a huge variety of ethnicities and the child is not the same as us - without going into details (and accepting that children rarely end up looking like they do when they are babies/like their parents!) I am guessing that British people will think he is either Indian or Chinese at first glance and will therefore either assume he's the child of another family in the neighbourhood (lots of Indian kids at our local primary school), or that he's adopted from overseas (which is of course true!). 

We had originally thought we'd accept a match where the child was the same ethnicity as one, but not necessarily both, of us, and also we'd accept some uncertainty e.g. if BF not known. And we thought we were very very firm on this - and now this! Gah! Why can't we make our minds up!

Anyway we have no idea if we'd be accepted (they do sometimes do competitive matching, unless only 1 couple is interested in a situation) anyway!

So a lot to think about. Although my ticker says we've been matched over a year, in fact our paperwork was only ready in February - so it's less than six months.  So we are wavering between "just how perfect do we actually think it's possible for a situation to be?" and "really we haven't been waiting that long, can we be a bit more patient"?


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Only you can know if a match is right for you. 

I would suggest that you try not to feel rushed into a decision and try and find as much information about the child as possible before you go ahead. Sometime though a gut feeling can be the right one. Your child is out there whether it be this one or another one round the corner! 

Good luck. Mrs Dibbles


----------



## thespouses

Thanks Mrs Dibbles! I know the SW we were speaking to does not want to rush us - so that is good - I am guessing if they were thinking about a competitive match they would be pressurising us a little more. But we need to have a serious chat about whether we are the right parents for this child...

I posted about this on an international adoption message board and I've been feeling a little got at (since lots of people there are actively seeking to adopt transracially, but we were more neutral on the issue, I think they see the fact that we're indecisive as showing that we're prejudiced or something, which is a bit upsetting   )


----------



## libby29

Hi everyone!
Had a lovely day with hubby today. I know we were naughty but we coundnt resist. We brought a pushchair, high chair and stair gate at babiesrus today. They were all a complete bargain as got all 3 for less than £200 (very pleased with ourselves  ), had a little help through the sales that are on, coupons and gift card so makes us feel better. Ooh they are sooo gorgeous, just need a little one to use them now. Got all the big things now so will def wait until matched to get the more personal things and decorate etc. Well into storage these little bargains will go after just one more look and stroll round the garden with pushchair (yes i am that sad   ). 
Sw phoned with a possible link but have to wait till its finalized at court next month. Hasn't told us anything but just wanted us to know things are happening and we aren't forgotten, bless her!
How are all you lovelies? xxx


----------



## Poochie1111

Libby - glad you enjoyed the shopping and a bargain to boot.  They will definitely be put to good use some day soon.    Cross fingers for good news on the possible link


Spouses - very tough coming to a decision.  You'll know in your heart whether it's right. Good luck.


Had some news last week.  We know we are definitely on the November prep course so at least we have something concrete even though it's ages away, so hopefully we'll be allocated our SW before then.  Really hoped we could have got on September's but it was not to be    


Hope you're all having a lovely weekend.  What a day for the news yesterday! That awful tragedy in Norway then the Amy Winehouse shocker.


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone!
Just a quickie while DH gives baby his lunch!  We brought him back yesterday for the day and it went like a dream, he is such a joy to be with, an amazing baby, we know we are so lucky! He has really started to bond with us, will come up to us with hands held high when he wants to be cuddled     and is so relaxed with us it feels like we have known him ages already! 
We now have him here for the days and from thurs we get him for good! 
Good luck to everyone, will try and read back when I get the chance! 
p xx


----------



## ♥Saila♥

Aw Panorama how gorgeous! I bet you are completely blissed out. xx


----------



## pumpkin23

Panorama that sounds amazing. Can't wait to get to that stage - just counting down the days to panel.
Hello to everyone


----------



## skyblu

AH Panormara, how sweet, I bet you and dh are over the moon.
Cant wait to get to that stage. Oh the waiting waiting and waiting 
Skyblu.xx


----------



## panorama

Thanks everyone    Yes all the waiting is just so hard but it will all be worth it!!   
xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Congratulations Panorama,
I'm so glad it's going so well   
Our little Nemo was 11 months when we met him and brought him home a week later, he is now 22 months and has suddenly changed from a baby into a little boy (into everything and full of beans!) before our eyes in what seems like minutes!
I'm sure everyone has said this to you, but treasure every minute, it's such a magical time (although also quite exhausting, but that gets easier after a couple of months). 
Again everyone says it but they grow up so fast!!!  It really does seeem like yesterday that Nemo was a little baby! He'll be a teenager saying..... 'whatever!'... before we know it!   
Not long 'till Thurs now!
Love Anj x


----------



## galaxy girl

Congrats Panorama !!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aw panaroma lovely news so pleased for you.

Well we had visit from our SW today guess she was just checking that hubby really was ok. She is going to start looking for a match for us with a hope to go to panel in October fingers crossed. I don't know why but I feel really deflated tonight just feel like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is never gonna be found at the moment. 

Hope everyone is ok. Sorry still haven't been around much and get so confused what is happening with people when I read back


----------



## AoC

AAA, there is a pot of gold, but it's at the start of a whole new, glorious, shining, exciting rainbow.    And it's just ahead - you'll see.  ((((((hugs))))))

Hugs to all.


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA  
Now you're approved, it's a case of 'when', not 'if' anymore, remember that   
You will get there and when you do all the waiting will be a distant memory in the past.
Love Anj x x


----------



## nicpic

Hi All,
Another milestone - booked on Sept course for definite now and DH can get time off work which was our main worry. Still 2 months away but at least its in the diary and we are moving fwd!!!
Good luck to everyone at your various stages
Nic xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

nicpic it will fly past honest. 

Anj and AOC thanks so much. Its strange but when hubby came home from work he felt the same. guess we have just had so much poo over the last few months its hard to believe things will get better.

Anj meant to say yesterday can't believe Nemo has been with you so long wow where has that time gone I remember reading your posts when I started out on here and been so inspired by you. I will try and keep the faith.


----------



## Arrows

hi all -Panorama, so over the moon for you!

AAA, soon you WILL have to change your name, just hold on that little bit longer.

We start our homestudy tomorrow with a new social worker to the team (no idea if she's ever done this before!).
Today I cut open the top of my foot and spent 3hrs in A&E waiting to get stitches. Also twisted my back when i tripped so feeling rather sore - I am so clumsy it's ridiculous!
Anyhow, she's due round at 3pm so hoping and praying that all goes well, that she likes us and that she has a sense of humour!


----------



## Poochie1111

AAA - I know you've had some set backs with one thing or another, but this will happen for you. It's so close now    


Arrows - hope your first visit goes well   


Panorama -  you're bringing your LO home tomorrow!!!!!!!!  How wonderful.    Good luck with everything


x


----------



## skyblu

AAA   

Panorama good luck for tomorrow, cant believe how quick it has gone. Now you are a forever mummy. 

ASFM, Still waiting for a s/w, how long does this usually take? I have a meeting on attachment tomorrow night so I might ask
how long it will take to start homestudy.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. Just a quickie as on mob.  Hope everyone is ok. Can't sleep. Were meeting our eldest daughter tomorrow and am so excited lol. Will do update when get the chance. Take care. Sweets x x


----------



## panorama

Our baby is home!!!!!!! 
Sweets - have an amazing day tomorrow!!!
Hi everyone, last few days have been super emotional, met the bp's yesterday which actually went well and leaving the fc's was just so emotional, but in a good way!   
No time for personals sorry but will do once we are more settled! Have a big grin from ear to ear and really can't believe we are a forever mummy & daddy    
panorama xx


----------



## ♥Saila♥

Aww thrilled for u hun

Homestudy starts 2nd of August am starting to get really scared


----------



## Duckling

Hi all,
Panorama - it sounds so wonderful - Congratulations!
Arrows - hope hs went well
Libby - don't blame you at all. Glad you enjoyed x
AAA -   
Sweets - good luck, let us know how you get on
Skyblu - we only waited a couple of months, others on our course are still waiting - 5 months on. Hope not too long for you now
Saila - good luck with hs. I was very very nervous but it was great to meet others in the same position
Spouses - hope you've managed to come to a decision
Poochie - glad good news
Hi everyone else.
Am a bit wibbly at the minute. Probably because on holiday and too much time to think. All sorts of worries and sad feelings. Need to pick myself up again.  
Duckling x


----------



## Poochie1111

Panorama - congratulations, you're a mummy!!  


Sweets - hope it went well today 


Skyblu - I'm totally in the same place.  The waiting and not knowing when you're going to start is so bad. Drives you insane  


Off camping this weekend.  Cross fingers the rain stays away.


----------



## AoC

Hang on in there, Duckling.  ((((hugs))))   

LOVE camping, Poochie!  Even in the rain.  *jealous*    Have a lovely time!

Our SW just left - she was very lovely, but they want us to wait until I've finished my course of CBT that I'm having at the mo.  That seems very reasonable to us, and it's not impossible we might still get on the next prep course, anyway.  So we're feeling a little bit anti-climatic, but fairly chilled.  We discussed our strong points and our vulnerabilities, and they were accurate and fair, and our strengths were pretty good ones.  They seem very relaxed about our financial situation, saying that as long as we can manage, it's okay.  So.... not bad, really.  Just a bit of a 'pause'.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Panaroma awesome news hun thanks you have made me smile and almost shed a tear xx

Duckling    try to do positive things hun, whats worrying you share someone on here will have a word of wisdom to help those fears x

salia Good Luck with HS it will be fine the first visit is the worst and then its not really anything to worry about x

Sweets hope it all went well xx

Aoc pleased it wasn't the worry you were concerned it might be regarding your finances. How long till you finish your course. But generally a YEAH

Skyblu and Poochie hope you soon get allocated a SW we had the name of ours in Oct, did prep course in Nov and then met her for the 1st visit in Dec but yet again everyone is different  

Thanks for the lovely words, i know it will happen just had so many set backs now can't help feeling there are more to come! I know its daft but thats me


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

So thrilled for you Panorama. Its an amazing feeling isn't it. Congratulations!   

Our little Pickle has been home for 5 weeks now, and it just gets better and better.   

Hope everyone is good. Don't really get much chance to read or post at the mo as you can imagine but I do think of you all and try to keep on top of what is going on as much as possible.

Love to all

Mrs Dibbles  x x


----------



## Anjelissa

So much wonderful news on here at the moment!  

Congratulations & lots of luck to all of you at the intro/moving in stage, it only seems like yesterday that we were there ourselves!   

AAA.....Thank you for your kind words   It is amazing how quickly the time has flown by! In approx a months time Nemo will have been with us a year!  and soon we will be celebrating his 2nd Birthday! It seems like yesterday that we were celebrating his 1st Birthday!
You are on the home stretch now, just keep remembering that   

Lots of love to all, Anj x


----------



## popsi

loving everyones news in here at the moment, its a joy to read, and to those that are struggling      them times really will fade into the backround when you have your little ones home with you, you forget how bad the endless waiting and hurdles are i promise ! x (says me who has just started for number 2 and is as impaitient as can be already LOL !) xxx


----------



## Guest

MIW - Waiting is hard, but it will be worth it in the end.....the right little one(s) for you is out there.  In terms of contacting your SW I would make youself a routine - constant contact will be counter productive as time spent communicating with you is time she can't spend looking for your littly.  I'd perhaps call her fortnightly/weekly for an update - set yourself a set time and stick to it.  In between, enjoy these final few months of being child free and find yourself something else to do - catch up with friends, start an evening class, get fit...or whatever else takes your fancy.  

Take care
Bop


----------



## Pink Lady 66

Well seems our link could be coming good for us, our SW and the childs SW think we are a perfect match, they are coming to visit us again in 2 weeks and we are so pleased we havent had to wait too long for a match, hoping to go to matching panel in September


----------



## julesF

HI all
I have been absent for a while as the LOs settle in after, I'm pleased to report that after the bathroom incident all has been well, we invested in a trampoline for him to bounce out his anger and it seems to be working. while they have both had new bikes, for the first time ever and it was wonderful to see them riding and having fun thank heavens for that famous auction site as they came with very little and bikes and trampolines are expensive. We have also been clothes shopping another first! they are 4 and 7 and have only had hand me downs!
they have met one set of grandparents and grandad is already wrapped around their little fingers.

it was great to catch up on everyones' news, as you can see it is slowly getting better, first review is the 9th August


----------



## thespouses

Oh dear, I left you all in suspenders didn't I?

We decided this was not the match for us - a mix of things - it was just A and B and C and D which individually might have been OK, but added up to more than we felt we could cope with.

But we have been told about 3 or 4 situations since we've been waiting so all in all we feel things are moving. We also know that we've been considered but ended up not being first choice in other matches - so we know we are being realistic and we look OK "on paper". So we are quite hopeful.


----------



## Guest

Sorry things didn;t work out this time Spouses  - hopefully the right match will come along soon.  

Pink Lady - hope all goes well.

Jules - glad things are settling.

All well here - only two more weeks of school holidays to go!!

Bop


----------



## skyblu

OMG, I cant believe I have just had an e-mail from my social worker and is coming to
start our assessment next Monday - 8th August.
I thought I would have to wait at least 1-2 months.
I am starting to get really excited and a little nervous, mainly because our dog is a bit nutty when we have visitors.
I hope she likes dogs 

AAA- how are you doing hun?

Hi to everyone else and hope that things are going o.k with you all.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Skyblu thats fab news so pleased for you. I am ok still have a few health issues but nothing major just hassles really. Didn't hear anything from our SW yesterday so bit gutted. We both are really flat at the moment as we just feel we have really been in limbo with Bubba stuff since March when we finished homestudy. We both just wanna get that phone call saying she wants to come and see us all very frustrating. We are going away for a much needed break this weekend so hopefully will come back with lungs full of sea air and a happier glow around us. Sorry that turned into a bit of a rant. Try not to get too nervous it will all be fab xx

Hope everyone is ok and enjoying this heat!


----------



## AoC

Great news, Sky.    We're good, thanks, just waiting to finish CBT before we resume the pre-application process.


----------



## Poochie1111

Skyblu - that's great news!!!!


AAA -     hope you get some good news soon


----------



## skyblu

Just turned on my laptop and there was an email from the SW and guess what.......Yes the date has been changed,
but thank god it is only by a day  why are they so hell bent on changing things as soon as you get used to the visit.
Mind you I shouldn't really moan it is only a day!!!!!!!

AAA - Sorry your SW hasn't been in touch.
Try and enjoy your weekend away and I am sure there will be a msg for you when you get back, if not phone her.
Here is a big cyber hug for you anyway   

Poochie - how are you? 

Aoc - Glad things are moving forward for you, what is CBT?

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## pumpkin23

Well I got to read our PAR last night alone while my DH got to read it the other end of the country as he is working away this week. We both said we found it a bit repetitive but don't think anything bad was reported.SW is picking it up in 20 minutes, then it has to be submitted by 12pm tomorrow to panel. Panel date is now less than a fornight away - getting very nervous already!
Take care everyone


----------



## MrsYG

Hi Girls,

Can I join you?  We have our first Home Visit tonight, 4 weeks after finishing Prep group.  We've got a different SW from the one that did our initial visit, so hope she is nice   

Will try to catch up on this thread, and get to know everyone.

Emma


----------



## Duckling

So pleased for you Skyblu! Once hs started I felt loads better - til now!
Mrs YG good luck for your hs!
Pumpkin we're waiting, waiting, waiting for our PAR to read. Wish would hurry up as don't want to miss next panel, they only meet once a month.
Hi Poochie and AoC
AAA so frustrating for you I know. Hope you have a really lovely weekend.   My wobbles are a bit better - just stuff I thought I'd dealt with, like what we won't have and bonding worries. Too much thinking   and worried I'm being horrible and shallow.
Mrs Dibbles, Anjelissa and Popsi posts like yours make me so much more hopeful and positive - thankyou!
Mummy in waiting you poor thing - hope you hear very soon  
Pink Lady great news
Jules lovely to hear your news
Spouses glad things are moving and you're hopeful

Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Mrs YG welcome to the thread Good Luck with the homestudy sure you will be fine xx

Pumpkin pleased you have read your PAR. I cried and cried when I read ours mind you it wasn't long after my op so hoping it was cause my hormones were still all over the place after my op LOL I am gonna be useless when we get a childs details. Panel is fine, we were both nervous wrecks but it was over so quickly now we just laugh at how nervous we werex

Duckling hope your par arrives soon hun there is nothing worse tat all this waiting x

Take care everyone and have a lovely weekend xxx


----------



## AoC

PAR - Prospective Adopter Report?  Did I guess right?  I think I'll be like you, AAA, if we get to that point - I was sniffling when they said nice things about our relationship in a meeting!

Hope your PAR arrives soon, Duckling.  

Welcome, Mrs YG!  How did the visit go?  

Glad the PAR was okay, Pumpkin!  One of our squash/pumpkin plants flowered for the first time yesterday - I'm going to call that a good omen for you.  

Hugs for the date move, Skyblu!    CBT is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.  I was feeling quite down and anxious in spring, and got fed up with how easily I am knocked down emotionally, so asked the GP to refer me for some counselling.  I'm doing a short course of NHS CBT with the aim of building my resilience and getting me fit for the adoption process.    I've been upfront about it with the LA, and they've been very complimentary, but just want me to complete it before they proceed.  Not unreasonable, really!  And it shouldn't take too much longer now - I aim to be back in the saddle mid Sept.

And, honestly, after all the date-and-time-and-ticking-clock pressures of IVF, we're both very happy to be taking this at a gentle pace.  It's so nice to hear someone say, "sorry, but it might be two months before you can proceed" and think, "that sounds fine to me.  We're not in a rush" rather than, "OMG, my OVARIES will shrivel up and DIE if I wait a SECOND longer!!!!!!"

You know how it gets.  

There's all sorts of stuff I want to do between now and then.  Practice challenging my 'unhelpful thoughts', paint the windows.  Get better at relaxation techniques, go on holiday, do my taxes.  Clean the carpets....  

I have four cats.  One of them is sick a lot.   Really, REALLY, clean the carpets....   

So. All good.

Of course, when it gets to panel dates etc I reserve the right to become completely rabid and unreasonable!       

But just at the moment, IVF felt like a long train journey with multiple changes where every train was late, every connection had to be sprinted for and there was never any seat reservations.  

Adoption seems like a slow trip down a river paddling a canoe, with lots of interesting stops on the way, no particular arrival time in mind, and knowing there's something wonderful waiting at the end.

Or maybe that's not the end - maybe we just take on another passenger or two.  

And strap them into life jackets.

  Excuse my rambling.  Feeling whimsical.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aoc sounds like a lovely journey now. Our SW was very impressed we had actually had counselling after our last IVF she said so many people struggle on and don't seek help that it bubbles up at a later date. We only had one session as it took our clinic so long to sort it out we had kinda worked stuff out ourself and I had been having a few sessions of acu and that really helped me get back on a level. You do what you need to do hun your little one or ones are on that river and will be snug in the canoe with you both very soon. xx


----------



## AoC

Thank you AAA.


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,
Just a quickie........

Duckling.....thank you for your kind words    You'll be where we are before you know it, and then your posts will be doing the same for others   

AoC....what a lovely way of looking at it, and so very true!   

AAA...Have a lovely weekend break and  you get that call really soon   

Have a good weekend everyone.
I must dash, I'm sat here with wet hair (trying to get it done whilst Nemo is on nap) and somehow found myself here!   
Love Anj x x


----------



## skyblu

Aoc, what a lovely way of describing adoption  as AAA has said your lo will be on that canoe snug as a bug very soon.
Cant believe I didn't know what CBT was I did that for a year and like you I found m/carrages IVF and the ongoing pain of endo
getting me really down, it is the best thing I ever did.    for you and I hope it helps you on your way through the adoption proses.

Duckling - I hope you get your PAR soon 

AAA - I am having a hysterectomy soon, how are the hormones treating you, are they bad or not too bad and are you having hot flushes.
I am dreading it.

Mrs YG - Welcome, how did your visit go?

Skyblu.xx


----------



## Poochie1111

AoC - I agree.  That's a lovely way of putting it. Although I'm finding it really hard watching all my friends having their own babies and with the adoption process taking so long to get going, I have to keep reminding myself that there WILL be a happy ending at the end of it.  I'm also trying to keep myself very busy. DIY mad at the moment!!


Welcome MrS YG!


Have lovely weekends everyone!!



xx


----------



## AoC

Thanks guys, glad it came across how I intended!  Poochie, it IS hard.  Every day.  But it's going to be okay.


----------



## AnneS

Morning (just ...) ladies,


my last post is somewhere on page 20 and it just took me an hour to read up. 
I have bought two books to read before/during prepr course that will start in two weeks   


It is so helpful to read about your journeys here.
AoC - your take on IVF v adoption journey made me laugh, especially share the (past!) feeling of: "my OVARIES will shrivel up and DIE if I wait a SECOND longer!!!!!!" Not anymore, thank goodness.


AAA - good to hear that counseling is seen as positive step, I would really hope so anyway. We has some, sorted some out just between ourselves and I wen tto some myself, a real life mixture i like to think.


Had our friends' kids  (three little angels ...) at our house for the day yesterday as our friends had double booked themselves. It was quite nice and littlest one started clinging to DH for cuddles, I could see his heart all melting (of course DH thinks he is in control of all his feelings, likes to think he supervises the kids and guides them and there is no question of him being influenced by them - hahaha, should have seen DH being led around the house by a 2 year old ...) Anyway, was good and will be done again. Maybe next time we 'borrow' our other friends' child, as in singular ...   


We are sitting in our (quiet!) living room and wonder how we would cope if we had an 'active'   day like yesterday and then also had to cook dinner and put them to bed and being woken in the early ours of Sunday and so on, interesting thought that.   


Love these emoticons.


Take care everyone.


C Anne


----------



## galaxy girl

Hi all. we have our six month review tomorrow - hopig for some news soon!

Hope everyone is well.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

GG hope you hear something really soon hun xx

Anne C those days very quickly become the norm. We are going to stay at my brothers house in a couple of weeks to have their 3 for the weekend can't wait they are 5 and the twins are almost 3. 

Skyblu, I still have a right ovary so at the moment it seems to be keeping hormones in some sort of control I am however still getting some pain in the same place as it was before the op! I had hot flushes etc for a couple of weeks after the op but nothing worse than IVF ones. I also weirdly seem to have a more regular cycle than i had before obviously not having a period but defo get tender and very short tempered and really tearful and tired again it is weird! You will be fine hun I haven't had a day since it was done that I wish I hadn't everyone tells me how much better I look and I certainly feel it! I think the weirdest thing is the numb belly I am assured this will return to normal in time but is very strange. When is your first HS again??

Anj hope you managed to get your hair dry xx

Nothing happening here but have been window shopping this weekend really not sure how we didn't actually buy anything LOL


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA........I was just thinking.....huh?.....get my hair dry?   , then I remembered   
Yep, I managed thank you, but only just! 
I am the worst procrastinator, and I'd get so much more done during Nemo's nap if I didn't have my laptop!!
Love Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj bless ya, I reckon I will be the same!


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hello everyone - hope your all well  

Poochie - I'm doing exactly the same at the min, DIY made, re-decorating, sorting through alsorts, essential maintenance, I'm finding the smallest jobs and making lists of lists of jobs. Even got a DIY action plan. Haha, ah . . . to keep ourselves busy eh!

Well I have some news, after months of patient waiting, researching adoption and numerous enquiries we have chosen the VA for us, very happy with our choice . . . . AND a social worker is coming to see us next week for our initial visit. Woop woop, can't wait to get things moving  

A few questions for those of you further down the adoption route to us:-
• those of you with dogs, any problems/hurddles you have encountered during home studies etc. Surely they send a social worker who atleast doesn't mind dogs?!?
• did any of you mention you were part of this support forum, I know they favour counselling and we've ticked that box, but not sure how they view online forums? 

Amy
Xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Amy,

Re/how this forum is viewed, our SW saw it as a positive thing and I even wrote an A4 page on it as part of our HS and 'portfolio'. 
I explained why it was beneficial, how it had helped us and how the site (especially the adoption side of the site) is particularly secure, with no photos being displayed or real names being used etc. I think once they realise all of that they can then see that FF is a very valuable part of your support network as well as a source of useful info and advice from other adopters.
I can only relay how our SW saw things, and would hope other SW's would look on FF as positively. I decided to tell her about FF and use it as a 'plus point' as I have gained so much knowledge and support here, not to mention the friends I have made. I couldn't see how it could be viewed as anything other than a positive thing.
I really would emphasise the security point though and try to explain how FF works and is run etc so that they don't see it as a possible future security risk etc. Our LA don't like us to be on ** (myself and DH aren't anyway, so there were no problems there), but even with that view re/** they saw FF as a plus point when I explained the benefits and how secure it is etc.

Lots of luck with your assessment,

Anj x

PS...I can't really answer the dog question, but we have a cat and just had to fill in a 'pet questionnaire'. I believe there is a separate one for dogs. I do know of people who have dogs and have adopted though. Pets are a healthy part of family life and childhood. I would imagine they will just want to make sure your dog is well trained and not dangerous in any way etc.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Amy I found our SW was very much the same as Anj. She was very positive about FF I have made some lovely friends via FF who have offered both me and hubby a lot of  help and support and advise that friends could not offer as they hadn't been through it. Some of the people from FF are on our support network list. They really don't like ** as apparently a child is only 6 clicks away from finding its birth parents scarey!  Sorry can't help with the dog but I am sure people from our prep course just had to complete a questionnaire.

Gertie sorry can't help re work. I changed jobs 2 years ago a sideways move to another dept as the office I was working in closed. They did say if it hadn't been a year they would contact previous employer for ref but that doesn't sound like it would be a problem for you. I would suggest speaking to SW as you don't wanna make the wrong decision.

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## nicpic

Hi G,

My situation workwise is slightly different but I resigned from my job last year to focus on treatment and now we have decided on adoption am going back on a contract basis while we progress the adoption process. This was viewed as positive by our SW as my reasons were that I can earn to give more robust future security financially and also will take my mind off things a bit throughout the process. They didn't bat  an eyelid based on the fact that as soon as we have a match I will take at least a year off. We are not at the HS stage however but can't see that they would view your situation negatively.  As AAA says they may just go to previous for a reference and def always better to check with such a big decision.

Good luck.

Nic xx


----------



## *daisy-may*

Hello

I haven’t been on for a while. We have now started our HS and have lots of homework.

Amy We are adopting through a VA. We had to fill in a pet questionnaire.
It was for dogs but filled in the relevant parts for our two cats. They just wanted to know if they are were used to children mainly.

AAA Hope you hear something soon.   

Gertie Sorry can’t help with work. I gave up work a few years ago. I used to work with children so will not be returning now as we are hoping to adopt 3 children.

Hello to everyone else. 

Rebecca


----------



## MrsYG

hi everyone 


The HV went really well, we've booked in all our visits for next 12 weeks and SW is aiming for Nov panel! its all happening really quickly now  had my individual appointment last night which was fine. I feel really comfortable around herand don't feel under pressure or like m being judged at all. She is working extra days to get us though the process which sounds positive!


AOC - hope your cat is better?


Anne - I too worry about how we will cope with the noise and chaos children bring having been just us two for 15 years!! sure we'll adjust fine!


GG- how did the review go?


Forever Hopeful - we have 2 dogs and horses too, SW was not concerned, as long as they are safe with kids you'll be fine!


Hello to everyone else


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Thanks for all the advise and re-assurance guys, it really helps to speak to ppl who are going or have been through the process.
I think FF is a positive thing, was just wondering if SW would think the same. I think some valid points have been made about emphasising the value of it as support and the security of the nature of the site, I may not of thought of that otherwise.
Our dogs are used to little ones and are really good with them, we have two spaniels, one is lazy and quite, the other is young and full of energy, she gets a bit too excited when ppl visit so that's my main concern, just hope the SW isn't intimidated by her at 1st glance. Hopefully she'll show her calm loving side on the day. She goes to training classes as well so hopefully that's seen as a positive. 
I can't wait to get started, it's so exciting  

Xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

DM  yeah all go now really pleased for you, was only thinking the other day I haven't seen a post from you recently xx

HH you will get loads of help from people on here xx

Mrs YG all sounds very positive roll on November


----------



## galaxy girl

Forever Hopeful - we have a dog who barks when people ring door bell and then is super friendly when they are in the house! Our SW was fine about it and did have a dog which was good. We also had to fill in a dog questionaire and were given good advice about how to handle the transition for the dog!

Mrs YG - review went fine. No further news though so we are feeling a bit deflated. Also no further respite placements at the minute. glad things are moving forward for you - Nov panel!! V exciting.


----------



## pumpkin23

Hello Everyone

Gertie179 - When we started this process, I was in a 7 month contract and my DH had a secure job - that was until February when he was made redundant. Our SW continued with HS the whole time and DH finally got a job at the end of June, just when my contract ran out. I now have another 7 month contract with a new company and apart from being told about 2 months ago panel might have to be put on hold it has never been a problem.

Well I got home to a letter about panel today - we knew it was next Wednesday (17th) but we now know the time. It all seems scarily real now, but by this time next week we will know panel's recommendation and then be waiting for the agency decision maker's decision!! I'm so nervous already and don't really know how i'm going to control those nerves on the day.

Hope everyone is ok
Pumpkin


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Pumpkin I promise you with all my heart panel is fine. I am a total worry wort and stress about anything like that! Both hubby and I are the same we sat in the room before we went in and hubby actually asked the panel coordinator if he could go home LOL afterwards we just looked at each other and laughed, everyone was so lovely and it was over so quickly!


----------



## skyblu

Forever hopefull - I'm in the same position as you, I'm not sure how our s/w is going to think about our dog.
Even though he is very friendly he can be very very very friendly, as soon as someone comes in he jumps up and gets all excited,but after about 3 
Min's he is fine and just sits in his bed, but he can be a bit full on. When we have had children in the house I take outside to calm down and then
bring him in to see the child, as long as he gets a hello and a cuddle from said child he is fine but does tend to follow them everywhere,
saying that he is a collie!!!! I just hope this does not go against us.
S/w was suppose to come to start our h/s on Tuesday but we got the dates mixed up, s/w sent email saying the 9th August and said in email I will send a letter
of comfirmation, when letter came I just scanned through it, on Tuesday at 9.45 I happened to looked  at the letter and found the date had been changed 
to the 16th August  So a note to my self- read all letters from beginning to end 

Pumpkin - good luck at panel.

AAA - Glad you are feeling better and feel no regret. How come they left you with one ovary instead of taking it all out? Sorry if to personal.

Hope everyone are well.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Skublu - thanks for the feedback. Your collie sounds very much like my springer! I supposed they are similar nature dogs really. We started putting ours into her cage until she is calm which works about 90% of the time, hopefully she'll not be too excited as it's a stranger and not a familiar play mate. She just wants cuddles and kisses, she's soft as anything really, but to not dog ppl she prob could be intimidating. Here's to hoping our dogs behave and sense it's important to be calm, haha

Xx


----------



## julesF

Hi all
I haven't been on for a while as the LOs are taking up all our time and my 7pm I just want to collapse, day off today as they are with their grandparents, we have had our first review this week and it went well, we managed to express our concerns about the FC as a number of health issues had emerged at their health check up that the FC should have dealt with, 


It was great to catch up on everyones news,   to all


we have had no more destruction though LO did take apart the toilet to see how it worked, after the flood I am suspicious about his motivations, their eating habits have improved and they now have manners so things are progressing at last


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Jules pleased things are settling down.

Skyblu, there were always planning on leaving one as endo has always been mainly on right ovary so that was the one that was coming out! However when they got in there the left ovary was really bad and very swollen and the right side looked ok so they left it but think this is a false ok as I had alot of work done on the right ovary in my laparoscopy in decemeber and as I had a coil fitted and then injections I would have been surprised if it hadn't looked ok. If that makes sense.


----------



## julesF

evening all
well i think the adrenalin rush of intros and coming home has subsided as I am exhausted and aching so spent the day resting while DH had the LOs. I still feel nothing for them after 7 weeks, continuing to fake it till I do, is this normal, if anything they wind me up and i spend the day saying don't to that as they have had no boundaries/discipline in the past. will i ever feel anything for them?


I read some posts about concerns over dogs, we have a westie and he has taken to the kids really well, the SW had no concerns about him though he did need a reference and we had to show he was use to being around kids


----------



## galaxy girl

Ah Jules am sending you big hugs ... must be very stressful. Am sure it takes time to bond - you with them and vice versa. rest when you can - you will need to re charge batterie to cope. Will be thinking of you.


----------



## Boggy

Hi Ladies

Just popping in to say HI, and let you know we've not forgotten about you  

Jules - Sounds like you're having a really hard time.  Nothing prepares you for the impact that adoption has - I remember the first 6 weeks being awful then gradually things improved.  Do you have any support?  Have you spoken to your SW about it?  Don't be afraid to - how you are feeling is common and they will support you    Everyone expects to suddenly fall in love with their children - but in reality fallling in love with people who have moved in, changed your world up side down and are struggling themselves is never going to be straight forward. Take good care of yourself  - and if you are a member of AUK then maybe give their helpline a call, they are very good. 

Please feel free to PM me if you think I can help, I'm a good listener  

bx


----------



## liveinhope

Just wanted to say hi to everyone.  We are progressing well with home study.  In order for us to get to November panel, all paperwork has to be done by Mid October and that's what we're working towards.  Its good to have an end in sight.... well more of a beginning than an end I guess!!! Had a week off work and have been getting bedrooms ready for decoration.  Cant believe that our little people will be sleeping in them! How exciting   

Hope all going OK for everyone
xx


----------



## Kaytie

Awh Jules, 

Sending you a big hug x

I just spoke to my friend last week who's been matched with an 18 month old girl. She feels pretty much similar to what you've said, it's so hard in the beginning and she's really disappointed as she's not really bonding with her- but most of all she feels so so tired and it's messing with her feelings. Needless to say that I'm going to help her where I can.

You must be shattered after all these changes taking place, but I'm sure it will get better, hang in there hun. Do you have additional support to get a little me-time?  


Hope, 
good to hear that things are progressing for you, it's exciting stuff doing the bedrooms. All the best for the remainder of your HS and of course for the panel.

Kaytie


----------



## pumpkin23

Evening everyone

Well tomorrow is D-day, we are up in front of panel at 9.30. I'm so scared!! Anyone got any ideas of how I can contain my nerves?    we get recommended, how long after do you have to wait for the agency decision makers decision after panel?

Sorry for the me post, hope everyone is ok.

Pumpkin


----------



## julesF

evening all
it seems from everyone's words of wisdom that what i am feeling is the norm, its not been a bad day though they are pushing the boundaries as always seeing if we are consistent and will we pick them up on it
they are getting easier to predict, but one is so immature for his age emotionally he is about 5 chronology is 7 that is what is the most draining he silliness and constant attention seeking if you speak to someone else or he is not directly involved this is in anything  - housework, cooking, talking to DH
does anyone have any suggestions on how to tackle the attention seeking behaviours?


----------



## Boggy

Hi Jules

Yes, what you are feeling is normal, it'll take time but will get better.    You've had a huge life change - you're bound to be in shock, take break when you can and have little treats along the way.  

I think with attention seeking behaviour the best thing is to choose your battles - maybe only one or at most 2 examples of behaviour at a time and just ignore all others (unless they or someone else is in harms way).

If you can, catch them "being good" and praise them.  I once heard it said that you should say 2 positives for every negative, but I've never managed to keep that one up!

As for your 7 year old, just forget he is 7 and think of him as being 5 or even younger (as they say treat all adopted children like newborns in terms of bonding/emotions).  Both my children are developmentally behind what they should be, but we find it helps to "think younger". 

If he's interrupting you, get down to his level and say "I'm sorry I can't listen you to just now - I am speaking to Daddy, please let me finish and then I will be able to listen to you".  If he continues to interupt them ignore (otherwise he'll learn if he carries on he will get your attention).

I hope that helps a little, it is hard I know  

bx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps, hope your all well. 
Pumpkin- good luck for tomorrow x x

Jules- hugs, hope things get easier soon and settle down.

Boggy, Always, Skyblu, poochie,Anj and everyone else.
Hope everyone is doing well at watever stage you are at. 

Have had a wonderfully hectic time since finishing work.
Our eldest daughter is snoring away upstairs and has been home about a week now.
We absolutely love her, have had a few wobbles, one day when she seemed determined to do the opposite of everything i asked her and i thought 'i cant do this'. Luckily was short lived (i hope lol)
She doesn't like bedtimes much and i am a bit like a yoyo up and down stairs. Brought her a glowworm today but it only glows for a few seconds. Anyone got any suggestions?? Thought about a touchlight. She has got a plug light and has landing light on too, think its just to get mummy upstairs with her lol.
Am shattered but loving it at same time, cannot imagine our lives without her and her sister in it anymore.
Were at panel today for our youngest, were due when matched at same time as LO upstairs but her medical wasn't ready, then today wasn't enough people at panel so was cancelled again. Due again on 30th. 3rd time lucky i hope.

Anyhow, appologies for not being on for ages

Take care 

sweets x x x


----------



## skyblu

Sweets - so glad things are going well with you.
Hopefully the next panel date will be third time lucky.
Good luck.

Pumpkin - good luck tomorrow which I'm you sure will not need.

Liveninhope - so pleased homestudy is going well and it wont be long before you have that panel date. good luck.

Jules - I pmsg you a few night ago. I'm glad thing seem to be getting better.
When we did our prep we were told that most children would go back 6/8 months in development and as Boggy says treating them as younger tots my be the answer. Have you heard about Theraplay, I went on the course last week and what they do is to communicate with a child by taking it back to a baby and having the nurturing cuddles where you hold them very close, even rapping them in a blanket.
Soothing them by stroking their skin, ie face and arms. Also by having one to one contact through play and reading again holding them close so they feel safe. You only need to do this once or twice a day for about 10 min or before going to bed.
Ask your s/w if they have a Theraplay course near you. If you need any more info msg me.

AFM - We had our first visit, I thought it was to start home study, but it was about CBR forms check and what we thought about the prep course.
We were also asked whether I needed any counseling for the IVF and say so now and not to think it was going to against us.
I explained I have had counseling and was sure it was behind me although I would never forget our lost babies but I it was time to move forward and I am 100% focused on the adoption. They seemed happy about it and just said that it was available if I would need it any time through the assessment.
I told them about my upcoming hysterectomy and was told they would be happy to continue with the assessment but would want to take 4/6 break while I recover, But their manager will have the final word and was up to her.
If she felt she rather us waiting until I recovered from the op we wont have a choice, but the s/w said she would fight my corner as she didn't think it would do anyone any good by stalling the proses, so fingers crossed.
Zac our dog was on his best behaviour and they fell in love with him, thank god.
Now the waiting stars again to see if we can go ahead or stall it for a while.
Wish me luck.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Just a quickie.....

Sweets......We have a Gro-egg thermometer which is (funny enough) egg shaped, displays the room temperature and changes colour from blue/yellow/orange/red dependant on temperature of room. We have never seen it go blue, but has gone red occasionally on the really hot days we had a while back. It's normally yellow or orange and gives out just enough light as a night light along with warning you with it's colour when the room's too hot or cold.
For slightly older children (from about 3) there is a Gro-clock with stars/moon and sun etc and is either blue or yellow which you can set to what ever time suits to teach them when it's time to wake up, and more importantly when it's time to stay in bed!   We plan to get this when Nemo is a bit older.

Luv Anj x


----------



## pumpkin23

Well we are back from panel, it was a unanimous recommendation but probably only for one, we were hoping for two. We have to wait about a week for the agency decision maker now.
We both feel more deflated than a helium balloon rather than elated - is this normal or is there something wrong with us?   
We don't really know what happens now - we suppose we just wait wait wait.
Sorry for the mega me post I just don't think either of us expected to feel this way.   

Pumpkin


----------



## Anjelissa

Pumpkin.........firstly congratulations   and secondly, don't worry, it's quite common, we felt exactly the same way after our panel! (very long story short, we were given quite a hard time in there unnecessarily, and there was even an investigation afterwards lead by our sw as she and others on the panel thought we were handled so badly.)
We expected to go out for a meal and have a huge celebration and feel on top of the world, we did go out, if only as if to say 'sod em for making us feel that way'.
Just remember you ARE approved and that's wonderful!!  Crack open that bubbly and celebrate!  

Luv Anj x


----------



## Miny Moo

pumpkin - I felt just the same as you post AP - just really deflated, mind you we had finished our HS in the Jan and did not go to panel until the July, so maybe the 6 months anticipation had something to do with it, we also wanted to have 2 or 3 but was only recommended for 1 or 2, but do remember that it is only a recommendation, we still got a lot of interest from SW looking to place sibling groups of 3, we were looking for aged 5+ though so think that might have had a lot to do with it.
As it is we ended up with just our son, the only singly we looked at, but there was something that was just so right about him for us and us for him, we are now just starting again for no. 2.
Well done on getting approved and I hope you find your family soon.


----------



## Duckling

Pumpkin Congratulations! Really sorry you feel flat, it's no wonder really with it all being so stressful too.  
Skyblu Theraplay ideas sound really interesting. Is there a website? Glad visit went ok. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Sweets lovely to hear from you. Am stealing Anjelissa's idea for later, hope you both don't mind!  
Jules  can see you've had great advice from Boggy.
Liveinhope I've been decorating too - makes me feel so much better when I'm doing something.
Hi Miny Moo.

Won't make September panel now. PAR still hasn't been returned. Really really disappointed. Silly as it's only a month but had allowed myself to get excited. Am up and down like a yoyo lately. Probably because hs finished and it's out of my control again.
Duckling x


----------



## Anjelissa

.......  .......Duckling that will be £15 in consultancy fees please!!!! 

Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Wow Anj thats cheap   

Sweets lovely to hear from you and hope you eventually get to panel xx

Jules really hope it all settles down soon, we were also told at prep that they might go backwards when placed. Try and take time for you even if its just bath with a book xx

Skyblu thats great news hun, it was the panel manager who made us wait until after I had had my op and was back at work    wish she hadn't we might have had Bubba home now if we had gone in April    

Duckling aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhh totally understand your frustrations x

Well looks like we are still waiting no phone calls this week! Starting to think our SW has done a runner!


----------



## skyblu

Pumkin - Congrats, sorry you are feeling a bit down though. 
It is a tuff journey bit at least you are now at the waiting room for your lo 

Duckling - Yes there is a web site on Theraplay, just put in Theraplay in the search engine and will get a list of different sites.
As it is an American thing it might be a bit hard understanding the strong Chicargo acsent. It is very intresing and whorth a look.

AAA - Panel managers  Sorry you are still waiting for your lo,but I am sure it wont be long now. 

Skyblu.xx


----------



## Duckling

Anj cheque's in the post! Will need to take out a loan the amount of advice I'll need!  
Thanks Skyblu going to look now.
Hi AAA really hope you hear SOON   
Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

#thanks we are both so deflated with it all at the moment but ha ho. It is a year today since we went to the info evening and I guess this time a year ago I didn't even think we would have been approved so should take that as a positive.


----------



## skyblu

Well we had good news today, which makes a change, I can tell you.
We can go ahead with homestudy and not wait until I have had the op 
We start next Thursday 

Pumpkin, I hope you are feel better about things. 

AAA,  

Skyblu.xx


----------



## liveinhope

Good news Skyblu! Good luck with it.

Keep smiling AAA and Duckling    you wouldve thought after all these years that we would get used to delays etc but it never seems to get any easier for me

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Well we have had an email from our SW never had one before she normally phones or texts!!! Me guessing she knew we wouldn't be overly happy with what she had to say. She wants to see us in October! So guessing we are not going to hear anything before then. This is so not what she told us a few weeks ago      Now kind of think our Bubba won't be home for Christmas


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hello,

I was wondering if I am in the right place?

My name is Sarah and we have just had a BFN. We always said we would have 3 cycles of IVF. We have always talked about adoption and feel that now is the right time to put the IVF behind us and consider the adoption route. I was wondering if any you could tell me how long adoption agencies want you to wait before approaching adoption? Obviously things are still quite raw for us but we are going to go away for a holiday as life has been all about fertility for the last few years, and start living life again. 

If I'm not in the right place, apologies and perhaps you couldpoint me in the right direction. 

Sarah x


----------



## Boggy

HI Greeniebop

You've come to the right place  

Most agencies ask people to wait 6 month between treatment and starting adoption, some agencies ask for 12 months and others have no waiting time at all (but that's very rare!)

If your Local Authority ahs a website it may tell you there, or give them a call and they'll be happy to help  

bx


----------



## pumpkin23

Hello Everyone

It's the weekend ! Thank goodness for that.

Just got a text message from our SW, agency decision maker has said yes to one child. Bit disappointed because we were hoping for two, so we will have to go through it all again to get number two in a couple of years time. (Not sure how long you have to wait inbetween)

Sorry it's not good news for you AAA, but hopefully it will be in October.   

Have a good weekend

Pumpkin


----------



## Poochie1111

Pumpkin - congrats on getting approved.  Sorry it's only the one and not two like you wanted.  I can understand how you would feel a bit deflated though.  It's been such a build to that day.
Greeniebop - welcome.    Love the name!


AAA - sorry to hear about your news.  October does seem like ages away.  Think she was a coward myself as she clearly knew you wouldn't be happy hearing that.


Skyblu - great news for you about your HS! Hope your visit goes well    


Duckling - very frustrating news to hear you've got to wait further.    Half the time I think people really don't understand how mad it drives us!!


Jules - things will get better. I can imagine it's hard. It's such early days and they will need a good period of time to adjust and settle down.  Take it one day at a time hun. It sounds like you've been given some good advice below     


Hi to anyone I've missed.  Hope you all have lovely weekends x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi Boggy and Poochie, thank you for the welcome. After our failed treatment DH and I have decided to go for a holiday during Oct half term and then approach our local adoption agency to find out about the process. Someone who lives in our area approached them earlier in the year and said that they are only looking for people to adopt over 7's. We really want to adopt a younger child or children. We have talked before about intercountry adoption so I think we need to make contact and go from there.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and I look forward to getting to know you xxx


----------



## Kaytie

Greeniebob,

You can approach any agency within a 50 miles radius, this may widen your options a bit. We went with our local authority as they mainly deal with children up to 5 years old. The other agencies were age 5+. 

Enjoy our holiday and the time spent together. It does take a while to heal after your last IVF, but whatever your decision is, I just wanted to wish you both all the best.


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone
Sorry I have been awol, been a very busy month with our LO and had to actually work as I had some commitments! Bit stressful but from next month should be much easier  LO has settled in great, still wakes up a bit at night so uninterrupted sleep is a thing of the past but otherwise doing really well. In a few weeks he has gone from commando crawling to proper crawling to standing and cruising     We have our first review tomorrow, but sw's think he is doing great so far. He has met most of our families now and seems to like them, actually he was sitting next to my 2 year old niece yesterday and they looked like brother and sister!    
Greeniebop - don't let that put you off, my 2 closest LA's said that (although I think it varies on when you call them!) but we ended up going with an LA about 50 mins drive away who had no problems placing younger kids and our LO came home at 10 months so it can happen! Just call all the LA's in your radius like Kaytie said.
Pumpkin - congrats on getting approved! We were approved for 2 but no sibling groups were coming up anyway so we ended up going for one and if I'm really honest I am quite glad we did, it is very hard work and I take my hat off to anyone who adopts sibling groups! Pros and cons for both obviously but I think it is nice to devote your attention one at a time, we will probably be going for no 2 in the future but for now want to enjoy no 1! 
AAA -   the waiting must be driving you mad, hope you are feeling better hun, hope things get moving soon, everything sort of stops for the summer with most LA's.   
Skyblu - great news 
Hi to everyone else, and fingers crossed for you all!
p xxxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Greeniebop. Welcome you will get loads of help and support on here. Your story sounds so like ours. We were almost certain we were gonna go down the adoption route and had started ball rolling with LA but we really made the final decision on holiday and it was the best feeling knowing that there wasn't gonna be anymore IVF. We had to wait 6 mths but I was bit crafty cause there was an info evening about 3 weeks before our 6 months was up and we went on that one so when we had our initial visit it was just 6 mths.

Panaroma so pleased to hear your lovely post it makes it all fill real xx

Pumpkin massive hugs hun but you will be a fab mum to no1 and who knows might still be a sibling  in a couple of years xx

Well feeling bit more positive today we have had another email and reading between the lines looks like things are happening but legally not ready to tell us what; so roll on October


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## julesF

Hi all great to catch up  with everyones news, as you all said it is getting easier each day. My parents are visiting for a few days and to meet the kids for the first time mum burst into tears when they called her Nana for the first time. They are also starting to look like our kids with new clothes, clean and healthy. 


 to all


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## E3021

Hi ladies,

Can I join in? Have been reading your posts for a week or so now and feels rude not to let you know I'm there!

It has been so helpful to read about other families going through this experience and to hear real experiences of each stage in the process.

Me and my DH applied for adoption in April and we have done our prep course and are two visits into our home-study. I've got my individual next week. So far, so good, we've found it all a really positive experience and unlike the ttc time, we actually feel like we are gettin somewhere and making progress.

Our SW is very nice, and all the other SWs in our LA were too - when we met them on the prep course.
Just feeling impatient about it all, but reading through posts on here it seems we are actually moving quite well. But after 5 years of wanting to start a family I think I'm allowed to be getting a bit impatient!!!

Anyway, that's enough about me, just wanted to say hello.

Liz


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Liz hi and welcome to the thread. Everyone on here is lovely and you will get loads of help and support where you need it. Think we have all been impatient at one point or another I know I have been since March LOL. Sounds like everything is moving really quickly for you both and it is so important to have a good relationship with your SW. We also get on really well with ours and when I sent her a very sulky email last week she knew where I was coming from LOL. Good Luck with the whole process xx

Hope everyone is ok and haven't been washed away in this horrible wet stuff that hasn't stopped here all day YUK.  I really need the weather to stay nice until Dec so I can carry on wearing linen trousers and flip flops till I hopefully leave work. I have gained so much weight in the last year and none of my winter trousers come close to fitting and don't own any work suitable shoes either as was really hoping to have been off by now


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi ladies, 

Thought I'd pop on and say Hi. We booked our holiday last night we are going back to Jamaica where we spent our honeymoon. Oct half term...counting down the weeks already. DH and I spoke last night and I think we are going to approach our local adoption agency when we return which will be 3 months post treatment and speak to them and basically see what they say. We have talked adoption since day 1 and I think always knew it would be the route we would take. Adopted 2 gorgeous kittens in the last 6 months who are currently running riot so I'd best go and see what carnage they have left behind.

Have a gorgeous weekend ladies

Greenie x


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## Damelottie

Afternoon ladies

Just popping on to bookmark and say hello . 

Myself and MiniMinx will be taking over the modding of these boards from today ;-). 

Shout out if you need anything. 

Love
Lottie x


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## AoC

Thanks Damelottie (and MiniMinx!).    I look forward to it. 

Quick update from me - we received our initial report on pre-application and I think it was really positive.  It mentioned the key issues we knew we had, and that we'd raised with them, but packaged it all up with what we intend to do about it.  I felt like they 'got' us and wanted us on board.

Now I just have to finish a couple more Cognitive Behavioural Therapy sessions and it's green light again.

I'm still loving how this process feels!


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## skyblu

Big    AoC
Well done and best of luck.
Skyblu.xx


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## AoC

Thank you Sky!


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## Poochie1111

Quiet on here at the moment?   


Good news on your pre-app report AoC.  Glad it's all going well
Welcome Liz   


Panorama- glad everything is going well with your LO.  Sounds like he's got you on your toes!!


x


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## AoC

I dunno about anyone else, but I'm busy at work and about to go on holiday!


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## liveinhope

Still here, just busy with work and trying to sort house out for Health and Safety assessment.  Hopefully not too long for us now till panel   
Hope everyone has a great weekend

xx


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## pumpkin23

Still here too!!

We have got to go on a Post Approval Training day tomorrow, eating in to our weekend!! Oh well on holiday next week so mustn't grumble too much.  
No real update from us - our SW has been on holiday herself this week.

Have a good weekend everyone   

Pumpkin


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## 02cindy

Hi Girls

Sorry not posted in ages, as have had no news, but I have been following everyone's steps very closely.

All those that have brought their little one's home recently  and may you enjoy every moment of your new lives.

All those going off to panel soon .

All those just starting out -  and welcome .

AFM - I have received my letter to say we start our prep course on the 14th September, its one day a week for 4 weeks with an exit interview on week 5.  I am so looking forward to the next step..Ohh its getting closer....    

Enjoy your weekend ladies.

Cindy.xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Cindy yeah soon be here xx

Aoc all good then hun soon be taking the next step x

Pumpkin a post approval course? We haven't had anything since our approval it is so weird how different it all is! Have a lovely holiday x

LIH hope you get the house good and ready 

Have a lovely weekend everyone x


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## panorama

Hi everyone


So sorry for not coming on here much any more, just not enough hours in the day at the moment! 


Hope everyone is moving along nicely in their paths to their little ones!


Our LO just turned 1 on friday and we had a wonderful day, supposed be small party that turned out into a much bigger one     Weather was fab so had paddling pools out in the garden and he got thoroughly spoilt! He is now walking with the baby walker, amazing how quickly they change!     So far everything going really well, aside from lack of continuous sleep! Must go to bed!!


Love panorama xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Panoroma aw lovely bet he loved it as much as you all did. Can I pick your brain as its looking like  we may get Bubba in Dec (now being very optimistic)  how did he react to the not so small party?? I just know if he is home for Christmas that the family will go totally bonkers even if we tell them not to!?! My mum has already invited the whole family round for tea LOL she did suggest I cook dinner everyone! Dah we live in a smally flat don't think cooking Christmas dinner for 12 is really on the cards. Just thinking ahead to happy work free days.

Hope everyone else is ok xx


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## panorama

AAA - aww how lovely if you can get a xmas bubba    Fingers crossed! He was absolutely fine at the party - there were about 20 people and he had a ball with everyone fussing over him! Unlike the toddler group I took him in the morning where he bawled his eyes out most of the time    I think their music was a bit loud, will try again on friday!    Tomorrow we are taking him to Essex where my Dh's family all are so fingers crossed he will be fine there, will report back!


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## aaa is a MUMMY

panorama thanks we are both from such big families and handling meetings is gonna be such a challenge. Have a good time in Essex


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Gertie if you have got a blank copy of the PAR you can kinda see what they are going to talk about. As per normal with this process every one is different we didn't look at case studies but other couples from our prep course did. Diversity is an area they touched on, health and safety is another one, they go over everything you have already spoken about, what health issues you would and wouldn't be able to deal with. My health was the major focal point for most of our visits LOL had a lot to do with the fact I looked like poo and was in incredible pain during the whole of our HS! When she came out after my hysterectomy she couldn't stop telling me how much better I looked lol. JUst play it by ear, the end might be nearer than you think.


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## AnneS

Hi all,

have been away for ages, apologies. I am looking for Bop. Anybody knwo whether she is still about? I tried to pm her and it did not work, the name field did not recognise her name   .

Bop, you still here??

Hope you are all well, will be back.

Cheers,

Anne


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## Poppets Mammy

Firstly a big   to everyone, sorry Ive not been on for a while, Iv been reading and keeping up with everyones journeys, but have not had much to report on myself.

AnneS - I believe Bop has hung up her volunteer cloak and is concentrating on her family life. Im sure a few pages back she posted saying goodbye and wishing us all luck.

Panorama - I love your story   You must of been proud as punch on your LO's 1st birthday.

AAA- How exciting   , I bet your on cloud 9 thinking about the possibility of having a LO for Xmas. How old is your match?

AFM - We picked out VA a while back after alot of research and talks with possible agencies. We chose the one that impressed the most, outstanding Ofsted report and very welcoming, professional and positive staff. We had our first home visit arranged which got cancelled on the day due to an urgent issue that the SW needing to deal with. We were dissapointment but understood that these things happened. Another visit was arranged, which surprise surprise, and hour before the planned visit we got a phone call to say the SW had been sent home sick unexpectidly.   Arghhhhh. Again we were dissapointed but tried to understand and be sympathetic. The agency was very apologetic and professional. We are hoping that we have just had some bad luck and a rocky start and are keeping our fingers crossed that this is not a sign of things to come. We have now just re-arranged the visit for next week so lets hope that comes off. He told us that the possiblity of getting onto the Oct prep course, which we were hoping to do, is now not possible as it is full, and we are looking at going on the prep training and starting home study in Feb 2012. How dissapointing and frustrating. We are trying to stay positive and are looking at the good side which is we get Xmas together before all the fun and games start. We are enjoying some 'couple time' at the min since stopping treatment so its not a dissaster.

Any thoughts or advise?

Best wishes to everyone

 to anyone I have not mentioned

XxX


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## aaa is a MUMMY

HH we haven't u yet got a match or one that we have been allowed to hear about. We are on a 3 month bereavement break!
Really hope you get your visit soon you are more patient than I would have been.

   can i ask for some HELP cause I am now officially declaring myself   .  Our SW has arranged a visit on the 11 Oct we are hoping and    this is for a match but she has said she can't legally tell us anything at this point! She then emailed again today to ask to see us on the 20th as well! Do you all think our thoughts are right and that she has a match but why the 2 visits? Sorry hubby is at work and I am going round and round in circles trying to second guess and read between the lines of the emails!


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## Anjelissa

Hi all,

As you know, I still 'lurk' to keep up with everyone's news, just wanted to say........

AAA.....I would have probably thought the same as you. Why would she say 'she can't legally tell you anything at this point' if it was just a routine visit or catch up? Surely she would have just said, 'no it's just a routine visit or catch up' if that be the case.
Saying that, she needs her butt kicked if it isn't about a link, as anyone would think along those lines from how she worded it.
Asking for 2 visits is a bit odd too. If it is good news, maybe she's quite sure of what your reaction will be and so is trying to coordinate a visit with child's sw at the same time. That happens quite soon after you have initially said you'd like to go further with finding out more about a particular link. If so, that would be quite presumptuous of her though.   

On the other side of the coin if it isn't about a link, is 11th Oct around the time your break will have come to an end? Could it just be her booking in a catch up in advance for that time? Again, if so, she needs her butt kicked seriously for how she worded things!!  

Can you not ask for the visit to be sooner? You are going to go slightly nuts   speculating in the mean time!!!   
Actually.......I want to know now too!!!....ring her up and say one of your friends on FF needs to know NOW!!   

I am  that it is what it sounds like. x  
It's a bit cruel booking the appointment so far in advance though if she can't tell you anything, knowing what will be going through your minds.   

I really hope it's your time hun   

Luv Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj thanks you made me laugh. 

It will be 3 months since FIL died end of Sept but she is very rudely on holiday end of Sept for 2 weeks her first day back at work is the 11th. The first email we had just said she was thinking ahead and wanted to book us in! She obviously read between the lines of my reply and she was going on about how long it takes to secure a childs legal position and if she saw us before the 11th she wouldn't be able to tell us anything! So we both assume she has Bubba but it isn't legally ready where she could share dets with us. Todays email just said she was thinking ahead and could we keep 20th free in case she needed to see us that day as well!! I have emailed her back but she won't now reply until Tues. 

I am really hoping we don't have to do any butt kicking! 

How is Nemo i bet he is keeping you lovely and busy. Thanks you are a fab FF


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## Poppets Mammy

AAA - your SW is been very cruel and cryptic. It's not fair to leave you guessing like that! But, reading between the lines it sounds like maybe she does have a LO in mind and is waiting for the legal side to be sorted. Prehaps she's just found out the final court hearing or whatever is going to be the 20th and she's hoping she'll have good news and be able to fly round to urs straight after and tell you all. Maybe that's why she hasn't set in stone the visit for the 20th and has just said to keep it open just incase. But this is all guessing really and reading between the lines. I really hope it is a match. Try not to stress about it and get ur hopes up incase were all wrong.
Xx


----------



## Duckling

Just a really quick one to say AAA you must be going nuts! Really really hope it's good news, but you don't need me to tell you not to get your hopes up too much. You know it's because I want to protect you and we Know how this flipping process keeps crushing us just as we get excited. So lots of    and LOADS of crossed fingers. (And I can't help but get a little excited for you too.   )
Promise will read back on everyone at weekend, so sorry I've missed everyone else. Back at work and it's very busy, probably just as well as PAR finally back but now Oct panel unlikely too, though still a 'maybe...'. Had convinced myself things were moving and got excited, surprising as I'm so pessimistic.
Duckling x


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## skyblu

Duckling -  

AAA - I have got agree with Anjelissa, Forever hopfull and Duckling, everything they all say makes sense, and your SW need a massive kick butting for putting you through this. But reading between the lines I think someone is going to be a mummy soon, I so hope so, because you so deserve this after all you have been through. Can't you ring her and ask her to be a bit clearer on what these visits are about, that is what I would do, I don't think I could wait until October 11th!!!

AFM - I have got SW visit tomorrow for health and safety checks and I still haven't finished my homework, I cant remember what happened last week let alone what I was doing growing up 
Still no appointment for my op and I am getting really pi**ed off now, My GP has sent a letter so hopfully that might shift their butt's.
Night all.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks everyone, I don't think she would answer the phone if i rang her LOL we have always communicated via phone or text so these emails are very odd! We are both guessing its cause she knows we would ask questions and via email she can ignore it not that we have. I guess the waiting continues and the sleepless nights start again as we both have it going round and round.       

Sky hope you managed to get your homework done we were so lucky cause after our first lot we didn't have any, don't know why but it worked for us. Really hope you get a date soon, I am so glad that is all behind me and when ladies at work are moaning about periods etc I just smile cause its so lovely not having that every month. I honestly truely have NO regrets. 


Hope everyone has a lovely weekend think we might have to try and keep busy or we are gonna drive each other CRAZY,


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - oh how frustrating for you.  It does sound like they have a LO in mind, but to say that and then wait you wait so long... you will be going   !!!

Fingers crossed for you   

Emma


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi again all,

AAA....yeh, Nemo is doing fine thanks and keeping us very busy!!  
It's now a year since he moved in!! Can you believe that!! Where has that year gone!   
He's now been with us longer than he was with his FC and although it sounds daft, I feel like that's another one of those nice milestones   
Try to keep busy so you don't go too loopy before 11th Oct!   

Have a good weekend everyone   

Luv Anj x x


----------



## Dame Edna

Anjelissa said:


> He's now been with us longer than he was with his FC and although it sounds daft, I feel like that's another one of those nice milestones


Not 'daft' at all, I feel exactly the same, it's a milestone! Congratulations!!

Xxx

Ps. AAA, sounds promising to me, but who knows ?


----------



## thespouses

Not much to report here, we have been shown another couple of profiles that weren't really for us (the way it works with us is mainly competitive matching too, so if we see a profile and say yes it only means we're being considered). But we have more questions than we thought about medical issues and our SW has said we should have a chat with the VA's medical advisor which sounds like it could be great - she's a real specialist by all accounts.


----------



## skyblu

AAA - Big   to you both, it must be so frustrating.
Try and busy or maybe go for a little holiday.

Can anyone help with a question I have.
S/W came today, she said last time we were doing health and safety today, but ended up talking about my health again.
I know they need to know as much as poss but I thought we covered most of this last time.
Now she thinks there might be a problem with the medication that I am on.
As most of you know I have stage 4 endo with a frozen pelvic and I have been waiting for a hysterectomy since April.
I take 200mcg/hr of Fentanyl (patch) and change this every 2 days and I also take Tramadol and Oramorph when I am having a really bad day. Even though I would come of the Fentanyl after my op I will have to be weened of it very slowly and this could take months.
She is going to ask her medical adviser advice on my medication and thinks that I should have a medical now and another one after my op. Has anyone else had any problems as far as medication is concerned.
Any advice would be great.
Thanks girls.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## Poochie1111

AAA- what a nightmare for you.  All very secretive and very unfair not giving you any info, but it sounds like it could be positive. I can completely imagine the not knowing and waiting is totally driving you     Hope the time goes quickly. Got fingers and toes crossed.     


Skyblu - Sorry, I can't help I'm afraid but I hope it gets resolved quickly for you.  It is annoying it's become an issue after you thought everything was okay    


Anj - where has that time gone? I hope you celebrated such a big milestone 


At last I have a little bit of good news about me!  I rang the agency during the week for an update, and we've now been allocated a SW for our home study and we're down for the Nov prep course. Whoo hoo!  They are currently on hols so should hopefully be in touch when they are back.  At last we can get going!!!   

Hello to everyone else


----------



## Charlie5

Hi everyone 

Just wanted your understanding really...we have been linked to tw0 little girls really pleased and things are moving steadly hopefully matching panel November 1st although I was told previous October 18th   
I just feel so emotional at the moment have been crying a lot lately and feel abit streesed is this normal??
Glad things going well Panorama you must be on cloud 9
Thankyou for listening
Charlie


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj where or where has that time gone, I remember sitting here crying when I read your posts. Totally understand about the milestones its an important one to have reached. Take care and hugs to nemo xx

Poochie yeah it will all start happening really really quickly now xx

Charlie haven't quite got that far yet but I would imagine the way you are feeling is totally normal I know how frustrated and emotinal I am at the moment and thats just waiting for a match. Knowing what you know about your lo's and then having it all delayed must be really awful. Massive hugs flying your wayx 

Sky, I think every single one of our visits even hubby's individual one mentioned my health and our Sw mentioned it to us before we went into approval because she was sure it would be a question raised but it wasn't LOL. she said to us afterwards that she had spoken to the panel about it and all the women said it was the best thing they had ever done. I wasn't on the level of pain killers that you are hun so I can't really help as far as that goes. Be prepared cause I know with us the goal posts were always on the move. Just stay strong while she is there and then scream afterwards. Our medicals were very early on and I had to have a letter from gp after my op before they would let us go to panel. Sorry I am waffling here if i can help. 

Hope everyone is having a fab weekend x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hope you are all having a great weekend   

We're just back from a walk to the lake to feed the ducks.   

DE....  I know you know what I mean, I bet you can't believe how fast the time has passed with little Wriggler either!   Congratulations to you too for reaching that point   

AAA.....I'll be doing the same (crying  ) when I read your posts that you've been matched with a little one, it wont be long now! I'll be so excited for you  

Charlie.....Congratulations on your link  Don't worry about the huge mix of feelings you are feeling, all totally normal, especially after the journey we all have to get to that point!  Lots of luck for the next stage, hope it all goes smoothly for you. 

Poochie.....Congratulations on your news, I remember it feels good when things finally feel like they are moving along! It wont be long till November ( I turn 40 then, yikes!  so I'm sure it will whizz by for me   )
As for celebrating our milestone, myself and DH had a nice meal, glass of wine and reminisced about the past year   

Hi to everyone else   

Luv Anj xx


----------



## Duckling

Hi all,
Skyblu - we have a big issue with dh's health and what we did was get a letter from the consultant to begin with. We had to have our medicals done before prep course but the gp's comments were very vague. So it helped us to have it in writing that the consultant thought dh was fit to adopt and supported us and sw was happy. We're still concerned about panel and are pretty sure they'll bring it up as medical officer wrote quite a bit about it in PAR. But I think by taking matters into our own hands helped. What I'm trying to say (and not doing it very well as I'm really tired!) is could you get your consultant to say in a positive way what's going to happen? We e-mailed ours as so difficult to get hold of and he was really helpful - it was kind of negative in that he had to state what was wrong, but with lots of positive comments.( Hope this helps a bit, so sorry for waffle!)

Anj I never thought of that milestone before, but wow yes that's a really big deal. Congratulations on reaching it xx

AAA  . Am keeping my fingers crossed.

Charlie I think I would be feeling like you. I'm pretty bad already! So big   .

Poochie good news!  

Think had better go to bed. Came on to send an e-mail for work, couldn't do it and got distracted. OOps.
Hope everyone has a good week. Duckling xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling hope you got to bed! Thanks

Sky totallly agree with Duckling as well I had totally forgotten we had several letters from consultant confirming what was happening and that he fully supported us. He even wrote one after my hysterectomy even though he didn't do it! As I didn't get a discharge letter or anything. He has also written to me following my scan recently confirming all ok, didn't really need it in writing as was just something I had mentioned at the endo clinic so they doubled checked. As I said yesterday stay strong. I was talking to hubby about it last night and he said he had kinda of got to the point where he used to time how long it was before it got mentioned on every visit and to be fair it was normally the first thing, she wrote a progress report on every single visit which was at least a page long. I hope this is helping I am worried about you hun hence why I am waffling now.

Anj thanks hope to be making you cry (it the nicest way) very soon. our sw is on holiday from 26 so the last day we could hear from her will be next thurs think then  we will both be able to switch off for a couple of weeks in anticipation of her return visit.

Hope everyone is ok and had a lovely weekend, really not looking very nice out there today xx


----------



## AnneS

Hi everyone,


have just been blown home - haha. This weather is a bit scary, isn't it??


Forever - thanks for the tip, had not realised that Bop had untangled herself from FF.


Well I am still here, but I am holding back, but lurking. I am not sure how my FF involvement is seen by SW?
I read with interest somebody's earlier comments here who said that she put the support of FF into her report. Might do the same, but I can also understand that the internet and all its possibilities and problems can be a contentious issue.
AAA - I hope you get your x-mas LO, Fingers very firmly crossed for you. Not sure how to stop your eager family, sounds a bit like mine ... And for your sw's cryptic messages - really that is not fair   . Hope you will have clarification soonest!
Gertie - good luck with the rest of your HS, I agree with AAA, look at form F.
Forever - these delays are so frustrating, aren't they? Hope that things move smoothly for you from now!
skyblu - hope you get your op date very soon. And that sw relaxes about your health. Best of luck.
thespouse - hope you get some good and helpful advice from the meeting with the VA's medical advisor
Poochie - congrats on your progress
Charlie - I can imagine that after the long journey of adoption and with the end in sight, everyone's emotions would well up. 


Weather update: horizontal rain - hm, not nice, methinks, no jogging tonight   


Duckling: what is the PAR? Hope your panel date will come soon.
Anjelissa - nice to read your story 


Will go and consider picking DH up from work by car, this weather is ridiculous. Better check the BBC weather site first ...


Take care everyone,


AnneC


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anne it has been lovely here most of the day apart from some very hot wind really bizarre, hope you managed to get hubby home. xx 

Well another cryptic email LOL laughing at them now cause I am fed up with getting upset. I was brave and have asked if she can tell us what the meetings are for and also asked if there was anything we could be doing in anticipation! I await a reply. 4 weeks tomorrow and all will become clear or it better 

Hope everyone is ok x


----------



## Anjelissa

Evening all,

Just to say.....

Anne......
That was me who put a page about FF (amongst many other things) in our portfolio folder (that we made as part of our HS). 
I included it in the section about our support network etc as I felt it has played a very important part.
I emphasised how safe it is and you can also mention that the adoption board has extra security measures in place in order to protect our anonymity (I spell checked that, but still looks odd  ).
I added that none of us use our real names (once you are a bit further down the line you may decide to change your screen name on here, as I, and many others have done, just to be on the safe side), plus as you know, we all have made up names for our lo's, so there are many things you can mention.
Neither myself or DH are on ** or any other networking site, mainly just because we don't want to be, but now we've adopted little man that gives us even more reason not to be on there. Our SW seemed very pleased with this as our LA are not keen on adopters using **. 
I think for your SW not to missunderstand FF you really have to explain all the security points and then mention all the plus points of being in contact with so many adoptive families at different stages of the process who can provide endless support and advice.
I now meet up regularly with a couple of friends on here who have adopted and our lo's are now buddies  . 
That's a big plus point as SS are always keen on you being in touch with other adopters especially as you go through the HS. You could add that bit as a plan for the future if you have formed any particularly close friendships here who you think may progress into the 'real world'  
Obviously only you can decide how your SW and LA will view FF, but after weighing things up we decided to write a page on FF as part of our support network as it has been such a huge source of support and friendship that I couldn't not include it. 
Our SW saw it as a very positive thing, but again only you can decide how you think your SW will see things.

Lots of luck for the rest of your HS,

Luv Anj x


----------



## skyblu

Thank you AAA,Anne,Duckling and Poochie for your advice.

I think I will need to ask my GP and Consultant if they could give me a letter to give to our S/W ,so she can at least be reassured I am quite capable to look after a child even with the medication I am on and I am doing the right thing for my adoptive child by having a hysterectomy. If I am honest I don't really want to have the op as I am sh**ing myself and I am mainly doing it for my future child to be a better mummy.
I have been in pain since I was 13 so a few more years until I reach the menopause is not going to make much difference!!!!!
Thank you all again
Skyblu.xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sky I totally understand how you feel I could quite happily have walked out of the hospital after I had spoken to the aneathitist (really not spelt right) but I am honestly ok. The worse part for me was the day after trying to get up and go to the loo I just kept going really dizzy and almost passing out but by teatime i had been to the loo (doesn't hurt) and was walking around. I think the morphine was doing funny things to me    and I don't like being drunk at the best of times! You will be fine you just to get a date and have something to aim for! 

Anne I also have FF's on our support network our SW didn't seem worried about it too be honest. It is ** they have major issues with and like Anj neither of us is on it and have not really been interested in going on it.


Seems a bit calmer outside today, hope everybody is ok and didn't suffer too much damage


----------



## watakerfuffle

Hello everyone, hope all is well and things are moving in the right direction for you all. My husband and I have prep course starting tomorrow, I was really looking forward to it but now feeling really worried as to what it is going to entail!! I imagine everyone will be feeling the same and once stuck into it will relax and enjoy!


----------



## Duckling

Good Luck for tomorrow Watakerfuffle! I was petrified but it was so lovely to meet others in the same position and also to be doing something positive. Hope it goes really well.
Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

watakerfluffle its totally normally we were both total nervous wrecks but it really is fine, everyone feels the same and you soon settle into things. I would just say be prepared for it to be negative. Everybody on our group found it hard to hear so much negativity there was very little on the positive sides of adoption but you only have to read posts on here to know its not all that bad.


----------



## Anjelissa

watakerfuffle........Lots of luck for your prep course tomorrow   

As others have said, you will all be feeling the same on the first day, but as soon as everyone starts to feel comfortable with each other towards the end of the first day it's no longer scary.
As AAA has just mentioned, be prepared for it to be quite negative as they really do want you to be prepared for most things that can arise and a lot of it is based on 'worse case scenarios' just so that you are fully informed. As well as gaining a lot of varied knowledge from the course you will make some great friends who will hopefully go on to be a valuable part of your support network further down the line. 
I now meet up for weekly play dates with 3 girls and their lo's from my prep course and 10 of us from the group all get together every so often for BBQ's etc so we have all become firm friends.   

Lots of luck and as AAA also said, when the course feels a bit negative please try to remember that there are a lot of positive aspects to adoption and as we speak, many of us have our lo's tucked up nice and cosy, happy and safe in their cots/beds as we speak which proves that point   

Luv Anj x


----------



## watakerfuffle

Thanks for your reply's, I have to say I had my hair cut today and got myself something comfortable to wear and am now feeling ready to tackle tomorrow and actually looking forward to it again. It is so great to have you guys for support it means alot. I will keep you all posted x


----------



## skyblu

Watakerfuffle,

Good luck tomorrow, as the girls have said, everyone will be feeling just like you tomorrow, but you will soon start to get know each other soon enough. Even though it can get a bit negative ,try and enjoy it.
Take care and good luck
Skyblu.xx


----------



## panorama

Waterkerfuffle


Enjoy it, I really enjoyed mine and always looked forward to it, it's all a means to an end like Anj says!   


p x


----------



## MrsYG

Waterkerfuffle - I hope today goes really well for you.  We found ours really informative and yes, you will also hear about the side of adoption which isn't so positive.  But the aim of the course is to make people fully aware so they can make an informed decision on whether adoption is right for them.

Good Luck, enjoy it and make sure you give us an update!


----------



## wee emma

can i ask a silly question?

are you allowed to change an adopted childs christian name?


----------



## MrsYG

wee emma said:


> can i ask a silly question?
> 
> are you allowed to change an adopted childs christian name?


We were told on our Prep course that this is very much dependent on the age of the child and whether they 'know' their name. We looked at some children who had strangely spelt names, and they suggested its fine to change the spelling to a more normal version. Especially since children with distinctive names are easier to trace. We were told you can add a middle name too.

HTH


----------



## AnneS

Hi all,

AAA - I hope one day soon you can look back at those cryptic e-mails and laugh, while you are looking at your LO play... 

Anjelissa, thank you very much for your detailed reply. I will probably do something similar, not sure yet. I know a bit about security issues on the net, so feeling quite confident being able to explain. I think a link to the real world is quite crucial though as that is what Sw recognises as support, though I would argue that FF is more hands on support (through advise) than some of my friends. Well that goes back to treatment and issues and some people being really rather dim when it comes to all this 'having children/family' business. You all know what I mean  . No probably not LOL 

Skyblu - Best of luck with sorting, sorry *informing*, your sw out about op and implications - you ARE doing the right thing!

AAA - again, as I am reading through replies ... - I can happily live without **, way overrated. Am hardly ever on and have ages ago for other reasons forbidden all my friends to post photos of myself. Has worked!

watakerfuffle - by now you will have had your first session, It really is a lot easier than it seems. How you feeling now?
wee emma - what MrsYG said is pretty much what we were told. There is no hard and fast rule but during prep course you will talk about identity and what it means and why names can be important.

A big  to everyone else: Ducklin, Panorama, Forever, Gertie, Poochie, Charlie, thespouse.

And thank heavens for some sunshine  !!!!!

Anne


----------



## Anjelissa

wee emma said:


> can i ask a silly question?
> 
> are you allowed to change an adopted child's christian name?


Hi wee emma, 
I think the others have pretty much covered what I was going to say, but just a few examples.... we added a middle name, one couple from our prep course changed the middle letter of their lo's name to make a new but very similar name (for security reasons), and one couple changed the spelling but kept it the same name.
Changing the christian name completely is frowned upon unless there are security reasons. As Anne has said it's a lot to do with the child's identity and so in most cases the name the child was given at birth will be very important to them, changing it could have later repercussions. There are things you can do when there are security issues though as I mentioned above.
We were told that the adoptive parents have the right to change the child's name and it is our decision ultimately, but apart from a minority of situations it would be greatly frowned upon if you were to change the christian name completely without a very good reason.
Just thought of one more thing.....it is accepted if their christian name and your surname together could be a cause for teasing/bullying....eg...Holly Berry, Lilly Pond etc

Anj x


----------



## Dame Edna

Annette Curtain


----------



## Anjelissa

Dame Edna said:


> Annette Curtain


lmao......I can see this going on and on!!
Mary Christmas!! 
Arthur Sleep !! (DH just donated that one)


----------



## Dame Edna

Now for a more serious reply ... 

Regarding the 'names' thing.  There is nothing SS can do to stop you changing your child's name once the adoption order is granted BUT tread with caution as it IS part of a child's identity and often the only 'thing' they take from their Birth family.

I think if you give them a 'normal' middle name, THEY can choose to change their name to their more usual middle name if THEY wish to when they are old enough to decide.  

Even with security issues SW's usually encourage you to find a way to keep/adapt the name.

Sorry to gatecrash  

Good luck to you all  
X


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Toby Lerone  

Just a quick one guys to update you, the social worker has evenutally completed our 1st home visit. It went really well   He says that he is pushing for us to get onto the Feb prep course and we should start our home study straight after but should expect 6-8 months to complete that (which is longer than I thought!?!), so hopefully, fingers crossed we could go to panel and be approved next Aug. He says they are matching families really quickly at the min so shouldnt take too long after being approved which sounds really hopeful.   that this will be our last Xmas as just a couple, it would be a dream come true to have a LO for Xmas 2012    He is also quite confident that we will get a LO in the age range we want (0-3yrs) quite easily as they dont have lost of 'baby babies' (which we had expected) but have plenty toddlers and are homing 12 - 18 month olds regularly. Eeeeeeee how exciting. We just cant wait to get stuck in and get started  

XxX


----------



## watakerfuffle

Evening all, first day of course completed and all I can say is woo hoo!! Had a really good day, feeling exhausted now but will update with more details soon. Night nite x


----------



## panorama

Water  -glad it went well!!


On the names front we have actually changed our son's name as it is not very common so for security reasons later on in life. The social worker actually recommended it herself, we have changed it to something that sounds similar and he took no time to respond to it. We have kept his christian name as his middle name so he doesn't lose how identity. I think as he is quite young not a problem but would have been harder had he been older. So will depend on the individual child and how common the name is.


p xx


----------



## AnneS

Morning all,


just book marking. 
Interesting comments on names etc.. Have to say that our prep course is most useful for such questions as we discussed identity etc at length. I felt quite strongly about integrating a child into our family and thought giving a new name was like a fresh positive start but have changed my thoughts (and feelings!) completely on this. And it is OK, I don't feel I have given up something anymore (the right to name your child is really a privilege, isn't it?). Hm, I sound like I will go on to declaring myself a saint, all serene and understanding. I can assure you, that it not the case!   
Have a good weekend everyone.
Anne


----------



## AnneS

Hi again,


just found a moment of clarity and change and adjusted my signature. I really am done with treatment and this looks much better to me.   
Anne


----------



## sonia7

Hello Everyone


Hope you are all well.


We have MATCHING PANEL on Monday 19th September 2011   , hopefully they say Yes. We have seen photos of the two children (boy and girl) and they look adorable. Will let you know the outcome of the panel         


Sonia x


----------



## GERTIE179

aww how fantastic Sonia - Good luck for Monday! will be watching to see all goes well    
G xox


----------



## Anjelissa

That's wonderful news Sonia   
It's such an exciting time isn't it!
Lots of luck for Monday, looking forward to hearing all about it.

Luv Anj x


----------



## Poochie1111

Good luck tomorrow Sonia!!!


----------



## Duckling

Wonderful news Sonia!    Lots of luck xx
Duckling


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck Sonia!


----------



## 02cindy

Good luck Sonia    Soo exciting!!!

We started our prep group last Wednesday, really enjoyed it and it feels like something is happening now   

Cindy.x


----------



## E3021

Sonia, how exciting, good luck. Will be reading to see how it all goes for you.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sonia good luck how exciting really look forward to hearing all about it xx

Anne well done you it is a big step saying good bye to treatment but for me and my wonderful hubby it was the best step ever. Good Luck with this exciting road in your new journey.

Well we have been away for the weekend and been window shopping for bubba, we have brought a small "cord roy croc" for Bubba which will be appearing on DVD and will be taken to bubba on our first visit hee hee feels like we have made a big step this weekend, even stopped at Mamas & Papas and have decided on the pushchair    didn't buy it as my mum and dad have brought everyones prams and want to do the same for us, but where as the others took the money and ran we wanna include them in the process and let them have a play as well. I some how think that day will end with both mum and i    but with smiles on our faces roll on October please


----------



## pumpkin23

Hi Everyone, hope you are all well   

Good luck for tomorrow Sonia, I can't wait to get to that stage.

Feeling very subdued today, we had to make the decision of what to do with our frozen embryo today. Pay for another years storage or have it disposed. I thought that part of my life was in the past now we have moved on to adoption, but we both found it a very hard decision   

We had a visit from our SW on Thursday, the first time we had seen her since we were approved, she just came to reassure us of a few things brought up by panel. She promises to keep in touch weekly with news - even if its to say there is no news.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, I can't wait for the day when I don't have to get up for work on a Monday !!

Take care 
Pumpkin


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Pumpkin    on your decision hun. And so totally agree with you about monday mornings x


----------



## panorama

Pumpkin -   I know how you feel, I still have one more embie and can't bring myself to let it perish, we may one day decide to use it but could not do it the last few years, I know it's not really our priority right now with our lovely son but hard sometimes not to think about it. Go with your heart really....   


Sonia - best of luck, I'm sure all will be fine!  How lovely, one of each!!    Get all the sleep you can for now    


AAA - glad you had fun, October not far now!!


Hello everyone else! Weeks seem to fly these days, can't believe our LO has been with us more than 7 weeks now, only 3 more and we can apply to the court!    He makes me smile and laugh more and more each day, has some very cute party tricks and is developing a very cheeky but cute personality!    


Lots of luck to you all! 


p x


----------



## skyblu

Best of luck for tomorrow Sonia. 

Pumpkin and Panorama, it must be a tough decision on knowing what to do when you have put IVF in the past.
I am sure you will both reach the best decision for you both. 

Glad you had a good shopping spry AAA. My mum is the same , and wants to buy us a pushchair and my dad wants to buy the cot.
I cant wait until the time comes and we can go shopping.

AFM, S/W came on Friday and I brought the name discussion, as in our prep course it was mostly frowned on, but she said it really depends on the age of the child and it also depends on the child's S/W. We said we would like to change his/hers name but would always keep it's real name as a middle name for identity reasons.

We have also sorted the medical and medication problem, S/W had a word with her medical adviser and she is happy it carry on with things and doesn't see the point in me having a medical until after I have had the hysterectomy, and also my GP is writing her a letter to say that he does not see what the problem is as far as my medication is concerned. So all systems ahead. 

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sky excellent full steam ahead then. We have been told name change is a NO NO due to the identity and the only thing that has been the same for the child since birth. My mum knows someone who is fostering and she has a nickname for the baby and she has been seriously told off for not using babies name. It really is so strange how different they all are! 

Panaroma wow you will be applying to go to court when we start hearing about our LO yeah how lovely. We have to wait 6 months after placement until we can do court! 

Good Luck Sonia sure you won't need it but must be really really nerve wracking! 

Well its MOnday again


----------



## wee emma

thanks so much everyone for answering my names question. I was dying to know the answer but i didn't want to ask at the meeting we went to, in case it looked like thats all i cared about   

ive enquired into a thing called concurrent planning (anyone heard of it?) where you foster a baby while the courts decide whether he/she is to be adopted. All the checks etc are done before you get the baby. Then if its decided yes, whoever is fostering the child gets to adopt them. It seems very clever.


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, Sorry I haven't been around for a while, time is very precious!!!

I just popping on for some advice really. Pickle has been with us for just over 12 weeks now and the last few days have been really challenging.

It seems that everything is a battle at the moment and I'm realy struggling. I wondered if this has happened to others. We have just all been on holiday for a few days where he was lovely but since we have got home his has been really tough.

Any advice would be greatfully received.

Thankfully he has just gone down for a nap now, I think I might have one myself!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Mrs Dibbles sorry don't have the answers but might he just be unsettled and a bit confused with the change in scernary and then coming home again. Hope it settles down soon. xx

Wee Emma I am sure we were told my our SW very early on so I am sure it will come up again. You will get loads of help on here everyone is lovely


----------



## elmoeleven

hi ladies,

i was wondering if i could join you. Im a bit lost in the whole thing at the moment! We had an inital phone assessment thing two weeks ago and then the report was taken to a meeting to decide if they were going to take us on last wednesday. Still not heard anything yet which is making me twitchy!! I have so many questions and am hoping you will ba able to answer them for me!! The next prep group isn't until feb next year so am hoping thats the only reason they havn't called yet

elmo


----------



## galaxy girl

Sonia - so exciting!! Can't wait to hear more...

elmoeleven- they prob are just busy - if i were you I would give them a phone. will set your mind at rest


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sonia any news?

Elmo Welcome to the thread you will find it so useful on here everyone is lovely and really helpful. I am sure it will all be ok after us returning our original form after the info evening they took ages to reply and then took ages to reply after our initial visit. As GG says its cause they are all so busy. 

Hope everyone is ok


----------



## elmoeleven

got a phone call this afternoon, apparently meeting not till tomorrow    he said he would phone me back after the meeting to tell me the outcome      

there is so many things i want to know, but too scared to ask because they are things i am worried will end the chances of adoption. 

elmo


----------



## sonia7

Hello everyone


GOOD NEWS - The matching panel said YES.        princess is 5 and little prince is 3. So happy. 
            Our family after 9 years waiting.   (IVF, adoption process). We are meeting them in 2 weeks time.


Thank you all for your support


Sonia x


----------



## Anjelissa

Sonia....That's WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!! HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!  
I hope you're celebrating tonight!
Lots of luck for your intros in 2 weeks time,

Love Anj x


----------



## galaxy girl

Congrats Sonia!!!


----------



## Poochie1111

Congratulations Sonia!!!!!  That's fabulous news!!     


Welcome Elmo!


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi ladies. Been loitering but wanted to say huge congrats Sonia. Absolutely fantastic news 

we are going to approach LA in jan as it will be 6 months since treatment so hopefully that will help x


----------



## Duckling

_*Congratulations*_ Sonia! Wonderful news. xx
Welcome Elmoeleven, hi Greeniebop.
Mrs Dibbles sending you  and am sure the girls on here who've been through the same will have advice.  x
Hm names, yep we too were told that changing was a definite no unless for security reasons. Have to be honest and say don't mean to be shallow but it does bother me and I do worry. Hopefully we'll love the name, it's just I'm a teacher and some of the names...  
AAA shopping sounds lovely  
Pumpkin  a really hard decision. I really wouldn't know what to do.x
Panorama great to hear how it's going.
Hi to everyone,
Duckling xx


----------



## 02cindy

Congratulations Sonia, such wonderful news..   So exciting...

Welcome Elmo 

Hi to everyone 

AFM - Off to day 2 of prep course tomorrow, think it is going to be heavy going as its neglect and abuse.  

Goodnight ladies   

Cindy.xx


----------



## skyblu

Sonia

Welcome to the thread Elmo 

Skyblu.xx


----------



## pumpkin23

Congratulations Sonia, I bet your on cloud nine.   

Getting ready for work - yuck!!!

Take care everyone    
Pumpkin


----------



## liveinhope

Sonia.  Enjoy every minute!!

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sonia huge congratulations so happy for you a family yeah xx

Cindy hope it isn't too hard x

Duckling names worry me as well, when I look in the paper at birth announcements you kind of get a    moment! At our prep course they said to us if it was an issue to keep saying the name over and over in conversations about the future etc and they swear that it will grow on you. So far everyone that has been matched on our prep course have had normal names LOL just hope we aren't the ones to break that.

Hope everyone is ok x


----------



## watakerfuffle

Hi, just to let you all know that I my husband and I completed the 4 day prep course. Can honestly say we really enjoyed it. Had plenty of laughs, some very emotional elements, learnt heaps and fab lunches! Definately cemented our decision to adopt :0)


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

wata yeah great news. Roll on the next stage hun x


----------



## elmoeleven

hi all

congratulations sonia, thats so fab.

We are having our visit in a couple of weeks       can't wait, best start cleaning my house now   

elmo


----------



## panorama

Sonia - great news!! Done much shopping yet??  Enjoy every minute and get as much sleep as you can! 


Water - glad you enjoyed it, knew you would!   


Hello everyone else, trying to get some work done while LO with his nanny (who is no doubt teaching him some bad habits!    )


p xx


----------



## Poochie1111

Hi everyone


Just thought I'd update you with some good news I've had today.  Our allocated SW has been in touch to introduce herself, and we start the Home Study next week.  I'm a very happy person today.   


x


----------



## Duckling

AAA you always make me feel better   
Fab news Poochie!
Really glad you enjoyed Watakerfuffle.
Cindy hope course wasn't too heavy.
Hi to everyone else.
Having a very wobbly day today as my little sister told me she's pregnant again. So very happy for her so feels weird that it hurts so much too.
Duckling x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,
Lots to say to everyone as there's been lots of news on here since yesterday!
Just about to dish up dinner though so only time to say,

Duckling....Big hugs to you   I think we'll all understand how you feel, it's such a 'double edged sword'. 
Congrats for your sister   and more   for you hun x x

Luv Anj x


----------



## 02cindy

Hi Girls

Duckling -    big hugs for you, its so hard to hear but perfectly normal, my sister is about to try again and I know she will be announcing her pg soon and it will feel like a knife being twisted...Not sure it ever totally goes away..  

AFM - It was day 2 of the prep today and it was pretty heavy. I did feel that they focussed on the negatives quite a lot, and at one point I thought what am I doing? Can I cope? Will I have a little 'terror' placed in our home that we terrorise us to death.   Are there any 'normal' experiences with adopted children? Are there any days that you forget that your precious little one is adopted - the way they portrayed every day life it did seem a bit doom and gloom   .  Hopefully next week will be a bit more upbeat....

Did you girls find you needed a large glass of vino after prep?   

Cindy.x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Cindy snap that is exactly what our prep course was like. We had 3 days of real negative stuff the last day was amazing. Have you got adoptive parents coming in to talk because that was just lovely. Look on here at the people that have been matched if it was that bad would anyone really do it! As an aunt to 15 ranging massively in age I can assure you they all have their own issues my brother has 3 of which 2 are twins and its pretty much world war 3 all day every day LOL. 

Poochie yeah another step forward xx

Duckling hope things have settled down xx


----------



## Damelottie

Sonia - I got a huge smile when I read your news. WONDERFUL!! Huge congratulations and enjoy every minute


----------



## Anjelissa

Cindy....

Yep totally!!! With regards to needing a glass of vino at the end of each day of prep course!  
Our little boy is now 2, has been with us just over a year, and apart from 'normal' 2-year old behaviour (which in itself, as any parent of a 2 year old will tell you, does sometimes feel like we have a 'little terror terrorising us to death'   ( as you put it ) all is wonderful.   
We love him to pieces and having him around feels no different to how I imagine having a birth child would feel. 
Please don't worry, they have to paint a very negative picture on the prep-course to make sure you're aware of all the issues that could arise.  

Luv Anj x


----------



## Anjelissa

Damelottie,

Your bug got me for a few seconds! I thought he was on my screen!!!   

Anj x


----------



## Damelottie

Bug? What bug?


----------



## nicpic

Hi All

Not posted on here for a while as been waiting for our prep course to start. Had our intro last night which was good as met others on course. Only lasted 2 hours and was exhausted so lord knows what state I'll be in after 4 full days next week. Have to say though being part of this forum really prepares you. No one else seemed to really know much and I felt really well prepared and relaxed thanks to all the posts and info I've read on here! 
Congrats to all those will wonderful news recently - Sonia, Poochie and all others. Sorry , lost track a bit! 
Cindy - your post resonated with me as that's exactly what i am petrified of. I do appreciate they need to prepare you but wish it was more balanced to encourage the positive side. Thanks Anj for your positive view. That's exactly what DH keeps saying - how do we know that's not what any 2 year old will be like anyway!
Duckling - really simpathise with you. My best friend has also just announced she is pg after first IVF at the clinic we were going to change to for our 4th but we decided to stop. So it really knocked me for six. Luckily I think the prep course being round the corner helped so i can divert my focus back to our situation. My DH was really sweet when I asked him  if it upset him he said - No, because I'm excited about our life and what we are doing .Bless!

Question for anyone - any recommended reads or DVDs on adoption, attachment, child development?. Our intial pack for the prep course next week recommends Child's Journey through Placement so going to order that but they urge you to read and watch as much as you can. 

Any advice welcome!

Nic xx


----------



## 02cindy

Hi girls

Thanks for the positive responses to my worries, not sure what I would do without FF, it is such a lifeline and godsend.   

Anj - Thanks for telling me about your little one, I am so pleased to hear that on the whole things are just normal and I think with a clear head today I know that it is the worse case scenario.

AAA - You're right, who would adopt if things were as bad as the picture painted yesterday. Yes there is an adoptive parent also helping to deliver the course and she helps to remind us of all the rewards. Her husband will be coming next week to tell the male perspective.

nicpic- good luck for your prep course, at least you have been forewarned    about what to expect...

Hi to everyone on here, panorama, damelottie, poochie and everyone else I have missed..

Cindy.x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Damelottie that bug is really annoying LOL my mum has a real one in the middle of her lap top screen decided to call it home a few days after they brought it! Now a very annoying black spot!

Cindy pleased I could help a bit, even our SW's doing the course changed the end planned end to one of the days because it was very negative.

Nicpic I am sure there is a book list on here but not sure where to find it. I ordered all the ones I read from Amazon if you just type in adoption you will get loads so just pick those that you think might be of use. We were given a book list by SW as well but I don't know where that is either sorry that really wasn't alot of help.

Anj thanks as I have said before it is hearing about Nemo and Popsi's princess that got me to where we are today and I honestly mean that. 

Well I am now down to counting in sleeps 19 more to go


----------



## Duckling

Thankyou everyone for being kind and understanding. I am valuing my ff friends more and more. There are so many things that only others here can understand.
Nicpic if you go to 'welcome to the adoption and fostering' board and into the resource area, there's a great list of books that I used.
Cindy I've asked my sister to remind me of the stories of my niece's tantrums when we have a little one of our own - to remind me that all 2 year olds go into meltdown!   There really are so many negative stories that thank goodness for our lovely friends here who share their experiences with us.
TGIF tomorrow!
Duckling x


----------



## Anjelissa

Cindy, Duckling and AAA.....you are all very welcome   

AAA....Loving the new name!! Does that mean we have to call you AAAIGBAM now !!??   
I frantically read back through the last few pages as I thought (hoped) I'd missed something!! Do you mean 19 days until the mysterious visit, or has something else happened? 
Btw, re/visit, can I hide in a cupboard and listen?    

Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj I am more than happy just being called AAA honest LOL no, no more news just the mysterious visit on the 11th but we are both convinced she is coming with news. Today was her last day before holiday so we have both switched off a bit now and I just felt like it was time (just hope nothing else goes wrong). I will post as soon as my feet hit the ground I promise. 19 more sleeps hubby just text me and said soon be 18 bless him. I am thinking about emailing/texting her on the 10th to ask if she had a good holiday


----------



## AnneS

Hi all,


Nicpic - we were given a reading list for prep course, but there were so many books on it, we picked just two:
one I very much recommend as it is slim (=short   ), to the point, informative, no nonsense AND for once not aimed at woman. So I read it before DH   . It is called: Approaching Fatherhood. A Guide for adoptive dads and others. By Paul May, published by BAAF
The second is: Real Parents, Real Children by Holly van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. This is very comprehensive and can be a bit daunting, but good as a reference.
We watched bits of an interview with Dan Hughes and there is apparently a DVD called 'A Day with Dan Hughs" that was recommended to us. But I cannot find it on the net, so maybe this was material from a conference. Dan Hughes has his own website and  he is an expert in attachment focused treatment. We were quite impressed as he seems knowledgeable, kind, warm and genuine. So he is an expert and a human being!! He has written a number of books also.
Hope that helps.
Off to bed as I had one of those days - never ending demands. Sometimes I wish people would just read my e-mails   ...


Tajke care all of you and sorry for no personals. Congrats to all of you with good news and good progress!


Anne


----------



## nicpic

Thanks Anne, Duckling and AAA for advice


----------



## skyblu

Hi Ladies,

AAAIGBAM - Love the new name, I must admit when I first saw it I thought the same as Anj and went back to my last post to see if I missed anything. Lol.
18 more days will soon go by, just try and be busy, easier said than done I know but at least now your S/W has gone on holiday so now you know there will be no news until the 10th Oct, but my god she better get in touch with you then. She be out of order if she doesn't, after butting you through that cryptic message was just cruel 
I take my hat off to you, as I would be going bloody crazy if it was me.lol.

AFM - I was supposed to have my first solo visit on Thursday, but I had to cancel it as the nasty AF came and as I suffer badly with endo I was high as a kite on pain killers and couldn't function let alone answer any questions, my S/W was fine about it and will have my solo visit on Monday now instead. I am actually looking forward to it, I think it helps that our S/W is really nice and friendly, I hope it stays like this.
We are off to Portugal for a week on Tuesday and I am looking forward to some sunshine and just chilling out, no Dr's no S/W and no waiting for operation appointment that never seems to come through the post 

Nite nite ladies
Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sky thanks 16 more sleeps now. I am nesting this weekend the whole flat is being turned upside down and inside out! LOL Have a lovely time in Portugal and have fun at our individual xx

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend xx


----------



## *daisy-may*

AAAIGBAM Love the new name. Our house is slowly being turned upside down even though DH thinks its to early. Still need to decorate one of the bedrooms.

We have our panel date for December so excited.

Must try and post more now we have less Homework for HS.

Hope everyone is ok


----------



## Duckling

Just on to say 'hi'. Hope everyone's ok. Love the new name AAA. Think you are doing really well with the waiting!

After hoping for the September panel and being disappointed, we're still waiting to see if there'll be room in October for us, otherwise it'll be November. Have stopped looking at cots for the time being! Went a bit over excited when told Sep for approval and lots of children in the system, thinking we might have a lo by Christmas, so have calmed down a lot now, realising we'll be lucky if we get approval by Christmas. Am trying hard to think of ways to distract myself from the great baby wait, but struggling to think of fun things. I sound like a right misery today!   

Your holiday sounds lovely Skyblu - you deserve a lovely time.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone.
Duckling x


----------



## Worththewait

Hi everyone, im pretty new to this forum thing, but equally as excited because i can see from reading the threads that you are all a great support to one another which is just lovely   my dh and myself have completed our prep course and waited on social services to allocate us a sw for months but finally got one out to visit in prep for the home study a few weeks ago. She is coming out to start my personal profile tomorrow which i hope goes well  because she appears to be quite the matriarch and not particularly positive.  she appears to be trying to trip us up on the occasions that she has visited (not that we have anything to hide) but makes us feel so guilty over nothing.  Is this an experience shared among adopters? will it get better? is she just trying to see if we can hack the pace? I'd be grateful for any advice thanks. xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

DM excellent roll on Decemeber hun. We have had various major overhauls over the last year but this one is me just wanting everything nice and organised ready for Bubba to come home. 

Duckling LOL if only you knew hun I am a nightmare with waiting it is something hubby and I just don't do! We have tried to spend time with our families and just got away for the odd weekend but it doesn't really help!  I really hope you get a date soon and then all happens really quickly.

Worththewait. I am sure your SW will be fine once you get to know her, neither of us was sure with ours at first but now its fine and she really understands us. I do agree with you though i think a lot of the time they are trying to see what they can get you to say under pressure!


----------



## Duckling

Yipee - going to approval panel next Monday! So surprised and happy and nervous. What will they ask? What am I going to wear?!  
Hope everyone's ok.
Duckling x


----------



## Worththewait

Hi all,

Duckling thats great news im sure ur delighted  that'll be an emotional day!  

I got on great with my sw for my personal profile the other night.  I dont know wat i was worried about, it was a great session that allowed me to show who i really was and i could see my sw relaxing during it probably realising that im not a potential monster.  HUGE weight off my shoulders   

Hope everyone else is well x


----------



## Poochie1111

Duckling - good luck with approval panel next week.  I'm be on hols so just sending you some early best wishes    


WtW - glad your session went well


AAA - love your new name!!! not too many sleeps to go!


Got our first HS meeting on Friday.  House cleaned and posh biscuits bought ready!


x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling i am so pleased for you, sorry can't help as I honestly can't remember what they asked us lol. You will be fine just enjoy it because it goes so quickly xx

WtW yeah pleased it went well xx

Poochie LOL  I remember those house cleaning session I imagine thats what I will be like all over again in 13 sleeps time    enjoy your hols


----------



## Anjelissa

Poochie.... Lots of luck for tomorrow   
If it's anything like our (and a lots of other people's) first HS visit, she/he wont even look around your spotlessly clean and sparkly home and wont touch the special biscuits!   
You feel like saying.....pleeeeease look around, run your fingers along our skirting boards/top of doors/behind every bit of furniture etc.....it's immaculate...look seeee!!!   
and.....no do HAVE a biscuit, we bought them especially   
I think they all have a secret plan as so many people find this happens. Maybe they want to lull you into a false sense of security so that next time, when they do want to look around they'll catch you out   
We all do it though  , and it seems to be never ending through the HS, I don't think our house was ever so clean and tidy!!
It really is fine though and great to get started as I'm sure you already feel   

Ducking....Lots of luck for Monday  , incase I'm not on here again before then. You'll be fine and then the exciting times really do begin!!  

Wtw.... I'm so glad to hear things are all fine with your sw   . 
It does get more and more relaxed as time goes by. We became great friends with ours and were sorry to say goodbye to her. 

Hi everyone else   
Hasn't it been amazing weather today!!!    
We went to Birdworld and had a lovely day   
Have a good weekend all,

Luv Anj x


----------



## Duckling

Thanks for your lovely messages Worththewait, Poochie, Anj and AAA. xxx
Worththewait really glad for you that the session went well.
Poochie good luck for Friday. 
AAA hope you're managing to take your mind off the wait.
Anj bet little Nemo loved Birdworld!

Enjoy the sun.
Duckling xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Dckling thanks nah failing miserably trying to find things to do, I wanna go Christmas shopping to get that out the way but we won't have the money until Nov as we do Christmas saving plans    I turned our bedroom and kitchen upside down at the weekend, bathrooms turn this weekend LOL hubby is going to go out for a couple of hours he hates it when I get like this hee hee! Roll on Monday I can't wait to hear all about it xx

Anj oh yuk bird world sounds scarey I really don't do birds LOL Guess soon I might have to be a brave mummy   Glad you had a lovely time, I some how think we might be like that with our SW as well, we shall see, 

Hope everyone is ok enjoy the lovely sunshine


----------



## Duckling

Oh AAA   . Don't know how you're keeping sane. Our only big job left now is the garage. Trying to persuade (nag) dh to help me with it this weekend. We do a savings club too for Christmas and I usually start buying some small things around now. Just not in the mood for it though, which is odd as I love Christmas. Tried all my clothes on last night looking for a panel outfit   . This weather has thrown me. Want to see what Monday's forecast is - boiling or freezing -boots or sandals?  ?? 
Duckling x


----------



## Pink Lady 66

Well today was matching panel and we got a yes, intros start on 10 october cant wait been such a long way, to anybody out there still waiting your time will come and when it does you wont know what has hit you.  We are so pleased


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Ooh pink lady just read your post. Congratulations!!!! Is it a boy or girl and how old? you must be so excited. Wel done


----------



## elmoeleven

hi all,

well if my husband hadn't insisted that i keep my excitable mouth shut   my ******** status would read my house is spotless now give me children!! I have even been baking today for my neighbours little boys birthday party on Saturday. Its going to be a long wait if i feel like this and Monday is our first meeting   . The next prep course is Feb so its my birthday end of Oct, got 2 agility shows in November, then there is Xmas and hubby birthday and another show in DEC, so just Jan to get through with nothing on!

The saddest part of this thread is that things are so much slower than on the treatment boards, and yet the posts are so much much more exciting. 

The one thing i love is the fact that as long as we are approved obviously which i know is a big step, but there is a guarantee of a child, they are already likely to been born or being born or being conceived when you start the process, there is none of that peeing on a stick lark. I have no doubt that the process is extremely stressful, but i like this more than the IV! I must sound like a loony! but hubby insists that i don't tell anyone yet so u are all going to get all my rambling thoughts!

Congrats pink lady.

Elmo
xx


----------



## Pink Lady 66

thanks all it is a boy who was 3 last week he is so cute cant wait to get him home now


----------



## Pink Lady 66

elmo i know what you mean we thought that after ivf that adoption is a sort of sure way of having a family, we were approved in jan 2011 and meet our lo on 10 oct it has been so worthwhile and a long journey but well worth it


----------



## Anjelissa

Congratulations Pink Lady!    
I hope the next 11 days go by quickly for you  

Love Anj x


----------



## elmoeleven

just out of interest we have said we would like siblings, has anyone come across adopters who have ended up with a sibling group of 3? Has anyone been approved for siblings but been matched to a single?


----------



## Poochie1111

Pink lady - congratulations - fab news!!!! x


----------



## Miny Moo

We always wanted siblings of 2 or 3, we also wanted children aged 5+ so we had a lot of interest as it is we ended up with our son, just one, he was the only singlie we looked at, thee was something that just seemed like he was meant for us.

Hence now we are just starting the process again for no. 2, have our SW visiting with all the official paperwork in less than 2 weeks.


----------



## galaxy girl

Yeah Pink Lady - congrats!!

Duckling - i also had the what to wear to panel panic!! In the end I woe a dress - with a long cardi to make it look less dressy!! This was because DH had decided to wear a suit and I felt I had to match him !


----------



## panorama

Hiya


Wanted to say big congrats to Pink Lady!!   


Elmoeleven - we were approved for 2 under 5's but in the end no sibling groups were coming up but lots of single littlies so we went for our LO instead, we were very keen to adopt from our LA and we never expected him to be so young, met him at 10 1/2 months, we will prob go back for no 2 when we can  Must say it is hard work and I take my hat off to everyone who adopts sibling groups now, it can be a lot to take on so make sure you have lots of support if you go down that road! 


Loving this weather, LO even went swimming on an outdoor lido today!! 


p xx


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Pink Lady on your match.  Good luck.

Looks like we are likely going to panel on 27 October   
xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Wow looks like Oct is going to be a very exciting month on here with so much happening.

Pink lady Congratulations xxx

Elmo rant away hun we have all been there. I totally agree with you about the ivf, I got a text from a FF on Tuesday going for EC but she'd got ohss and is really poorly its all horrible and I really don't miss the IVF part of our lives. xx

Duckling hope you find something soon, I had a lovely new maxi dress to wear and it was pouring down LOL so had to go back to the drawing board! 

11 more sleeps


----------



## KG81

Hello ladies

We go to panel on the 18th of October too! So it is a busy month for everybody!
We've been told they have lots of children in care and not enough adopters, so we are hoping for a quick match, we think they already got someone in mind... 
Do you know how long it would take between being told of a little one and when the child is with us? Wondering if it could be done before Christmas? 
We should get our assessment to read and sign next week, can't wait to read it!
Karen x x


----------



## AoC

CONGRATULATIONS, Pink Lady!!!  

I get very excited reading this thread.  Yes, things move more slowly, but there's something wonderful about it all....


----------



## Duckling

Pink Lady _*Congratulations!*_ Such lovely news!
KG81 and Liveinhope great news about panels for you too!
Elmoeleven lovely to hear you feel so positive.  
Have a lovely hot weekend everyone.
Duckling x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi ladies, even though we aren't yet 'up and running' in this process I still lurk and I have been so excited reading your posts. Duckling, so so pleased for you and Pink Lady, what lovely news. It is a special sort of person who can go through all the disappointments of treatment and then this arduous process and I really do admire you all, I only hope we are able to make the journey with you. Every time I look on here and see more good news, it brings a smile to my face, and there haven't been too many of those in a while.

A few things away from the 'baby issues' have gone right for us. DH starts a great new job on Monday - he has been so unhappy in his previous job so its such a relief and I got a promotion at work this week. Its for a year which is perfect as hopefully when it comes to an end we will be on the adoption journey with you all.

I was just wondering if you could recommend any books on adoption? I have seen a few on the resource area but thought you guys may have some suggestions. I like to be prepared!!!!

Have a fantastic weekend my lovelies, make the most of the Sun!!!!

Greenie xxx


----------



## Worththewait

congrats pink lady!!!!
Good luck to u ladies going to panel shortly.  elmo, i know what u mean, when we stopped treatment and decided on adoption it was a huge relief knowing that we were actually going to be parents (being approved of course) and not have to hope and pray  and hope and  pray  and pee on a stick and visit hospital at every blink.  its soo exciting hearing everyones news and seeing them at different parts of the process knowing it'll not be long until ur at that stage too.
DH and i would like to adopt siblings too but we really just want to be parents and if there is only one for us then its meant to be that way, we'll just be thankful.  Life has a habit of throwing obstacles in ur plans anyway so we've learned to expect the unexpected  
Good luck everyone have a lovely weekend xxx


----------



## Damelottie

Many congratulations Pink Lady. Such lovely news - awww a 3 year old little boy. Lovely


----------



## libby29

Hi Ladies, i haven't posted for some weeks now as there was just no news our end (just the dreaded wait for a link) but i have been reading all your posts most days. Well we have just read a file on an 1yr old boy and have said YES! We're not in a competetive match and have been told everyone involved thinks its a great match. So now just waiting for his sw to come visit us. OMG! he is totally amazing and i have everything crossed that this match works out as we've had 2 links fall through due to legal reasons. Cant stop reading his file and staring at his pictures. He has the most gorgeous red hair and big chubby cheeks lol. Now breath and calm down.....


----------



## AoC

Hooray Libby!  Fantastic news!  Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly.   

I had to laugh - DH was talking about what happens if you adopt someone who looks nothing like you - he used the example of adopting a red head.  I pointed out that that would be a really bad idea.

"Why?" he said.

"Because your best friend has red hair."

There was a pause.  "Ohhhh......"   

I am NOT having people looking at me, and looking at his best friend and taking two and two to make five!


----------



## elmoeleven

AoC         thats brilliant DH and i had a good chuckle at that one.

Well SW came , stayed 2 1/2 hours    DH said that it was my fault as i talked too much    and that he swears she wrote on her paper that DH was a brow beaten husband    all seemed to go well and our file goes to another meeting in november / december time. SW was gorgeous and i am happy we have her. DH refuses to get excited yet, but i don't care. I don't want to feel bad about wanting to be a mummy anymore and am not going to supress my excitment, if it all goes tits up then i will deal with that as it happens.
elmo

xxxxxx


----------



## libby29

Aoc... That made me smile too   
We actually dont look anything like him. I have blond hair and hubby has ever decreasing brown hair BUT saying that my niece actually has red hair. So who's to say we wounldn't of had a red headed child as theres obviously a red gene somewhere in our family. SW said she was concerned about telling us he had red hair as she said she has had couples turn down children before because of it   . His hair is part of his little character and we love it so boooo to those people! xxx


----------



## Duckling

Libby that's fantastic news! So very pleased for you! 
Elmoeleven glad it went well.

Well we were approved today!    So happy! We were only in front of panel for 5 minutes and they said some really lovely things about us. Off to celebrate now.

Hope everyone's good.

Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling yeah so happy for you have a lovely evening xx

Libby yeah I am so happy for you, hope to be joining you  in that position next week fingers crossed. Thats sad about people turning down red heads how mean good on you hun for not being one of them xx

Aoc    that made me chuckle

Elmo yeah well done and don't worry about talking too much every single one of our visits has been over 2 hrs and neither hubby or I are big talkers but that is what they want open honest answers. I am with you on telling the world.

8 sleeps


----------



## AoC

Quite right, Libby!    I can't imagine turning a child down for that reason....  I think I'd just dye my hair!  *g*

*waving to all*


----------



## Anjelissa

Just a quick one (as doing dinner), just wanted to say........
Duckling.......HUGE congratulations!!I hope you're enjoying your celebration  
Libby....Massive congratulations to you too!!I remember that day well, such an amazing feeling  

AAA....Not long now!!   

What a big day on here today! 

Hi to everyone else, I hope you're all enjoying the amazing weather!

Luv Anj x


----------



## Miny Moo

Congratulations Duckling, hope you are not waiting to long to find your family.

Libby I hope it all goes well with this match, I love red hair, but I have to say we did say no to 2 brothers because they were very blonde and we are not , but in our defense we were in-undated with loads of profiles because we wanted up to 3 siblings all 5+.


----------



## elmoeleven

congratulations duckling


----------



## galaxy girl

I love red hair and have always wanted red haired children - send them all my way....!! So tired of waiting - has been seven months now


----------



## galaxy girl

Was thinking today and have realised its actually 8 months!!  Plus people keep saying I've heard they are crying out for adopters...


----------



## KG81

8 months is a long wait


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

GG really hope you hear something soon, are you waiting for 1 or a sibling group? 

Hope everyone else is ok 

6 more sleeps


----------



## AoC

I'm sorry GG, that's an awful long time.  Is there a specific issue delaying things?  Are you looking yourself, or is it all down to your SW?


----------



## thespouses

Well, we've been here before, but we're being considered for a match again, we were happy with most aspects of this situation and we should hear in the next couple of days so fingers are very much crossed!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

thespouses fingers and toes crossed for you xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hello everyone, don't have many personals as not been keeping up to date much at the min. There's been some very exciting news though. Congrats to those who have been approved or matched.

Elmoeleven - your post stood out to me, sounds very similar to my posts and our situation. Which are are you from?? We are having to wait until Feb for our Prep course as well but I'm very excited. We've got lots planned over the next few months as well to keep us occupied. Do you do Dog Agility?? Is that what you ment by Agility shows? We have two dogs and are just starting agility classes with our Springer.


----------



## Duckling

Just a quick one to say hi and thankyou for my lovely congratulations messages.
AAA not long now! x
Good luck Spouses - hope this is the one.
Galaxy Girl    really hope you hear something soon.
Duckling x


----------



## elmoeleven

hi forever hopeful, we are in the north west, i snuck a peak at your profile and your in the east    yes i do dog agility, i have border collies. Know a friend of a friend who trains up in the north east, i think sheffield. I love it. Its great fun xx

SW hasn't phoned :-( se was meant to phone tuesday and didn't, how many days should i wait to phone her? DH said they must have binned us already      

elmo


----------



## galaxy girl

AAA - we are approved for a sibling group - 0-6. 

AoC - no specific issues that we know of - yes SW is looking. We can be chosen from within our health Trust or Northern Ireland wide ( the NI wide thing happens afer 6 months waiting)... I think things seem to move slower here and its a smaller place than the mainland...

Elmoeleven - I would phone fri am if you haven't heard and you can wait that long.!


----------



## Pink Lady 66

We have received our intros plan today in readiness for next Monday 10th we have a planned meeting with Birth Mother the following week


----------



## elmoeleven

fab news pink lady that things are going forward, is it normal to meet birth mother?


----------



## Pink Lady 66

The Bm met the foster carer and has asked to meet us, she wants to be able to see her son has gone to a good home and be able to move on with her life, SW are encouraging it more and more now, so we are happy to meet her.

It is all closely monitored and will only be for about 15 mins, if it gets out of hand they will step in and call a halt.

I just hope we are careful and dont give anything away.


----------



## thespouses

Well it's a yes for us!

Because of the situation overseas nothing is certain till the ink dries on the adoption order, but it's looking good. Though expensive! Overseas agency wants more money out of us of course, you pay part of the fee when you sign up, part on a match, and part when the adoption finalises. And we are not actually sure of the total fee because we looked back at our paperwork and there's one on the estimate we just got, another one on the paper copy we have of our agreement and a third on the electronic copy!

Looking at being able to meet our baby in January, might be a bit earlier or later depending on how the fates are feeling towards us.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

The spouses yeah will be    that this all works out for you and what  a lovely start to the new year xx

Pink Lady fab news roll on next week xx

GG I really hope you hear something soon I can't imagine how frustrated you feel. I have found it hard enough having a 3 month break, I suppose with us it didn't help cause she was coming to see us with a match the day after I rang her to tell her the sad news about FIL.

Hope everyone is ok and roll on the weekend xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Elmoeleven - Where abouts in the west are you? We spend alot of time in cumbria. Which LA/VA have you gone with? PM me if you dont want to say openly. Just wondering if we have chosen the same VA and prehaps are doing the same prep course.
Ah collies are lovely. We have a Cavalier and a Springer. Looking forward to starting the agility. We aren't close to Sheffield, we r further north. 

Pink lady- how exciting, good luck for next week.

AAA - was it you that had a meeting with your SW beginning of Oct and were hoping for news of a match? Is it next week? 

Hello everyone else


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Forever yeah it is, Tuesday and it can't come soon enough x

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

AAA - That has flown over since you 1st found out they wanted to visit on the 11th Oct. I bet its been hard waiting and wondering. fingers are crossed they have exciting news for you. Best of luck and keep us informed.

xx


----------



## Anjelissa

OOOOOOH.........3 and a half days AAA, I've got my tent pitched and my nibbles, flask of coffee etc, and am eagerly waiting to hear the news!  
I tell you what though, if she turns up with no news, we'll all be quite miffed at her, to put it politely   

Luv Anj x


----------



## pumpkin23

Hi All

Well we've got no news, after last seeing our SW on 15th September and her promising to give us weekly updates we heard from her on 28th September (6 days late) to tell us there was a linking meeting on the 6th October and she would update us after that - guess what ......... She hasn't!!!  It's so annoying as now it's the weekend and nothing can be done.   

We feel like we are jumping through hoops for them and keep attending all the one day courses they send us information on and we are fed up!! We've got another one to go to on Sunday - ruining the weekend!! 

Now feel that we are not going to have our little one home for Christmas   

Sorry needed a massive moan and knew this would be the right place to do it - thanks everyone for understanding

Have a good weekend - mine is only going to be one day!

Pumpkin


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Pumpkin massive hugs hun, I would ring your SW first thing on Monday

Anj thanks hun, I think she would be shown the door very quickly if she doesn't bring details with her! 

FH it has been forever for us LOL.

Well have kept very busy this morning doing housework, just having a catch up then off to my mums our nephews are all going to be there so guess i will be up to my head in flying bath bubbles later on LOL and tomorrow Christmas shopping, 

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx


----------



## Duckling

Hi all
Pink Lady and Spouses it sounds great!  
Pumpkin   . I really hope they pull their finger out soon for you. This jumping through hoops thing gets a bit much sometimes.
AAA can't believe Tuesday is finally nearly here. Keeping everything crossed for you and shall come straight on my laptop after work!
Hope everyone's having a lovely weekend. I'm still enjoying the feeling of being approved and can't believe it's finally happened. Now looking seriously at cots!   
Duckling x


----------



## Poochie1111

Hi everyone!  Back from week in Cornwall. If any of you live there then you are so lucky.

AAA - loads of luck for Tuesday!!!!  Hope you get some good news!     


Pumpkin - they do like to keep us dangling on a string sometimes    I agree, definitely give them a chase on Monday.  There's nothing worse than building your expectations up then not meeting them.


Spouses - yay!  Great you've got some good news. Really hope the next few months goes smoothly


Pink Lady - glad things are going so well.  Sounds like the birth mother is being cooperative which is good. It will be reassuring for her to meet you.  Hope the meets goes well.


GG - has it really been 8 months? I can remember you getting approved. Really hope you get to hear some good news soon    

We have our second HS session next week.  Just having a quick break from doing family trees and ecomaps!! I get distracted so easily   


x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Poochie totally agree with you about Cornwall my picture is perranporth beach, we had an amazing holiday there last year and hoping to be going back with Bubba at some point. Good luck with the family trees xx

duckling happy cot shopping, i am not sure I will manage to get on her tomorrow she isn't coming till 330!! Tomorrow is going to be a hard day at work!

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I am pleased to say apart from 1 present all our Christmas shopping is done and almost all wrapped, we can now focus on doing Bubba stuff and can't wait to hit toys r us for Bubba's presents


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck tomorrow AAA

We have read and signed our PAR over the weekend so all being well we are at panel on 27 Oct


----------



## KG81

Good luck AAA for tomorrow  

Only 8 days before panel, getting worried about it already  

Karen x x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

AAA - Best of luck for tommorrow

Liveinhope - Fingers crossed you get to panel on the 27th

KG81 - just been reading your profile info, you've had a really quick process from your initial enquiry to going to panel, how amazing, I bet it feels like a blur! It would be fantastic if you get a match in Nov then the whole thing will or taking 9months - Just like a pregnancy.  

xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Poochie.....I also totally agree about Cornwall, myself and DH love it. We both went there a lot as children and have been there quite a few times together. We plan to take little man there next year   
Family tress and eco maps  that brings back memories, lots of luck for your 2nd HS visit.

AAA....lots of luck for tomorrow in case I'm not on here before then  . 
As for Xmas presents, we've now got all the children's (10 in total, plus 6 of them have Birthdays too between now and Xmas   ). 
I hope to get all of the adults presents before the end of Nov as I am having an operation on my nose at the end of Dec (septoplasty), and I know I wont feel up to Xmas shopping after that.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow   

Hi everyone else, have a good day,
Luv Anj x


----------



## KG81

Forever Hopefull, yes the process went fast, we've been told many times there is a lack of adopters and they currently have lots of children, so we should get a match pretty quickly I think x x


----------



## Worththewait

hi everyone,

Just a quick note to say a massive good luck to AAA for tomorrow and cant wait to hear how it goes (probably like everyone else i would imagine.)
Only news we have is that DH goes for his medical on wednesday evening and has his personal profile visit from the SW on thursday evening........that should be interesting considering his vocabulary consists of 'aye' and 'naw' lol

Hope everyone else is keeping their spirits up and looking to the future.

See u all tomorrow xxxxx


----------



## AoC

Good luck AAA!!!


----------



## Duckling

Good Luck for tomorrow AAA!!   x


----------



## sonia7

Hi Everyone


Hope you are all well   


We are nearly a week into our introductions and its going fab   . Prince and Princess are gorgeous, they are calling us mummy and daddy   , we have waited so long to hear those words. Loving every second with them both. It's so hard to leave them but we have to go by the plan that was discussed at the planning meeting.  , not long now before they move in which will be half term week.   


Speak to you all soon


Mummy xxx


----------



## skyblu

Hi girls, I am back and refreshed from my holiday in the Algarve, but my god it was mighty hot 

A lot has happened over a week.

Duckling, congrats to you and you dh, you must be so happy, lets hope you have a match soon.

Sonia - So glad that you are getting on so well with your 2 littleones, it wont be long before they will be home 

KG81 - Good luck with panel.

Poochie- how is your hs going? we have also done family tress and Eco maps. Have you had any solos yet.

AAA IS GOING TO BE A MUMMY - I cant wait to hear from you tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. Good luck 

Afm - I have a question, is it normal to have a lot of solo sessions, I have had 3 already and she booked me in for another 2.
She said she wants to get most of my sessions out the way so she wont have to trouble me after I have had my op.
I think it makes sense but she has hardly seen dh.
Last weeks session brought a few things I didn't really want to talk about, but my god she is good, sw have got a way of tripping you up and make you tell them more than you were planing, or is it just me 

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sonia aw thanks for posting your timing was perfect. Sounds amazing and roll on half term week, xx

KG I was a total wreck before we went to panel but it was ok honest and I promise I wouldn't say it if it wasn't. Just focus on the end goal. YOu will be fine xx

ang hope the op all goes well hun. We have got the older kids money still to sort out but will do that next month as hubby does a saving scheme at work that gawd he does its never ending!

sky pleased you had a lovely holiday. We only had 1 individual visit each the rest were done as a couple! But as we have said time and time again they all do things so differently. She saw me at my worse 2 weeks after my laparoscopy, she did say when she got there that she would go and rearrange I must have looked dreadful LOL. 

Worththewait. your post made me giggle! 

Thanks everyone for your support. I said to hubby last night I feel really odd, almost like I did before I did preg test with the ivf. I am just hoping we haven't read too much into the emails and she isn't really going to come and tell us anything!    I wish I didn't have a head that over thought everything. Well I guess time will tell. Might not get round to posting tonight but will be on early in the morning if not!


----------



## panorama

AAA - good luck today, hope she comes with good news!!   


Skyblu - everywhere is different, I only had one solo session but it can vary. I bared all in mine by the way, but it was actually a bit therapeutic! 


Sonia - how lovely they are calling you mummy and daddy  Our LO says mama but I don't quite think he means me yet!    Wow, quite long intros then, hope it goes quickly!


Anj - wow how very organised with xmas presents, haven't even thought about it yet!   


LIH - not long for panel now, don't worry, you will be fine    


Duckling - well done on getting approved!! Let the fun start now, hope you get a match very soon   


Love to everyone else! We're doing well, LO now taken his first steps!! So cute, he can manage about 6 before toppling over!    We are sending the forms to officially adopt the next few days so fingers crossed we get a court date before Xmas!   


panorama x


----------



## LB125

Hi All, I don't post very often, but read regulalry. Great news on here lately, so glad for all concerned and wishing all who are like me on the home study trail, continued success. I found this info and wished to pass it on as feel that if this outrageous discrimination were to be tackled then more children may be able to be placed in loving homes.

*29.06.11* - *Call to end discrimination in adoption entitlement reaches Parliament* 
Accompanying document:
Letter Template - Gaining support for the Private Members Bill on Adoption Pay and Leave

Thanks for reading 

PS Hope all is well for you today AAA

/links


----------



## Poochie1111

AAA - hope today went well and you had some good news     


Panorama - lovely to hear things are going so well.  Your little man sounds great!!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

We have been matched to a beautiful baby girl she will be 1 next month. 

She is lovely and looks just like my lovely hubby.

I have laughed and cried and laughed some more

What an amazing day good news all day


----------



## Duckling

Oh my!!!!!!! Massive massive CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! So very happy for you and your dh AAA. Feel very tearful for you, you deserve this so much.
Duckling XX


----------



## Anjelissa

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!
aaaiam!!.........I am so so so pleased for you hun  
I just came on here for a quick check to see if you'd posted (I'm supposed to be getting changed to go on the tread mill  , so I'm also procrastinating   ). 


                                                                                                

I hope you've cracked open the bubbly tonight!
I am so thrilled for you! It's made me all teary!  
Really looking forward to hearing more and following your story through your intros and beyond 

Huge huge hugs, 

Anj x x x x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

What lovely news aaa. So so happy for you. I keep an eye out as we're approaching la in jan and have kept you in my thoughts.

Enjoy this feeling x


----------



## pumpkin23

Congratulations AAA is going to be a mummy - you'll have to change your profile name again !!   

We still haven't heard from our SW, DH is sending her a email !!    We went on our course on Sunday and meet up with alot of couples from our prep course, they have all been matched now DH and I are the only couple not to be   

Hope everyone is well

Pumpkin


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Pumpkin give them hell hun, we were one of the last as well so totally know how you feel. It will happen and OMG what a feeling

Ang get running hun, thanks awesome feeling x

Thanks everyone


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA....ps.......
...you are going to think I'm a right daft nutter, but I just went in to tell DH, (as I had mentioned you before), and I burst into tears!  
Crazy lady!!!......maybe I REALLY just don't want to get on that treadmill    
Seriously though, I think it made me all emotional as I know all you've been through, how much it means to you and also I know how it feels when you first hear about your future child.   

More hugs  

Love Anj x


----------



## pumpkin23

Like the name change AAA is a mummy!   

I'm sure he will give her hell

Pumpkin


----------



## KG81

Congratulations AAA!!!!!!


----------



## AoC

WAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I guess you probably forgave the SW for the suspense, right? *g* Many, many congrats AAA - thanks for sharing your joy with us, and good luck!


----------



## popsi

OMG ... AAA i am so so so so so so happy for you my friend, this news has made me smile so much, a litte pink one how wonderful, same age as our princess was as well ! oh come back and tell us what the plans are etc when is panel/intros etc xx

much love to you all xx


----------



## panorama

YAY!!!!! What lovely news!!!      So excited for you!!! 


Look forward to hearing all about it!! Congrats, it is such a wonderful feeling!


panorama xxx


----------



## Poochie1111

AAA - Whoo hoo!!!  That is fabulous news!!!!  Congratulations!!!!! That deserves some dancing bananas!!!


----------



## libby29

Congrats AAA!   
Well we've had a totally fantastic day also so know how you feel. we've been potentially linked to a little boy for a week and his sw and family finder came out to see us today. It went great and they gave us a great big fat yes there and then   
About an hour after they left his sw phoned us to say we've been booked for matching panel on the 7th nov with a view of intros the week after and placement the week after that OMG!   spin  So if everything goes to plan i could be a mummy in about 6 wks how blooming fantastic is that?!?! So over the moon i can hardly type for tears


----------



## KG81

Congrats Libby!!!!
Lots of exciting news today!!!


----------



## watakerfuffle

wahoo, great news on here, all very exciting   sorry to those with no news and struggling   No news my end, waiting to be assigned a sw but to be honest not had chance to do my homework yet so im in no rush.....yet!!! x


----------



## panorama

Libby - congrats to you too!! How old is he??      What an exciting day today!


Mummy in waiting  -how frustrating for you, any reason for the amount you need to wait Have you gone through LA or VA? Can you not try and look yourself at the same time and go on the national register by now?? Sending lots of   I know how frustrating all the waiting is, you just want to fast forward! Hope you get some good news soon!   


Water - hope you get assigned a sw soon!   


Off to bed, hope LO sleeps through tonight! Fat chance as I'm on night duty     xx


----------



## minmouse

Hi all, I havn't posted for a year! ( can't believe it's been so long) altho I continued to read your stories, we were deferred and it felt so sad making no progress that i left the boards for a while.Well we're back and I have just been catching up with recent posts. It's so fantastic to see names I recognise from a year ago now completing their journeys and gives me hope that it can, and does happen! Massive congratulations to (not) AAA, and Libby   it must be an amazing feeling   
Such great advice available on these boards, it's a lovely familiar place to be. Home visit tomorrow, feel sick, nervous, but most of all happy that we've ( hopefully ) satisfied the extra bedroom issue, and can crack on.  Good luck to all
Min
X


----------



## skyblu

AAA - Sorry late in posting,but when I read your news I just had a big break down.
It has been a toughday but I am truly truly so happy for you as you so deserve to be MUMMY.
You and your dh have been through a tough time and now at least when things are going a bit tough for the rest of us we know there is a happy ending, I cant wait for mine.
I cant wait to hear about the rest of your journey.       

Libby Congrats to you and dh     

Mummy in waiting -  It must be so frustrating.

AFM Had a sh*ty day, I went for a MRI scan and it does not look good, the delay in my hysterectomy has made my endo so bad it is now on my spine and sciatic nerve and does not look likely it could be removed. The nurse was a bit cagey and was a bit vague and then said "the results will be with your GP in 10 days and he can tell you more I have already told you to much". 

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations to Libby and AAA on their announcements, hope things go smoothly from now....

Big hugs to those who need them at the moment.

AFM, we had our health and safety assessment today, the next appointment now is panel      Cant wait for it to finally be here

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thank you all so much I am honestly blown away by all the posts on here thank you especially to Ang and Popsi as you both gave me the strength to move on and start this process and now OMG I am a mum. To everyone that is struggling, frustrated and just down right fed up stick with it because it does yes it does really happen. We have had no end of delays and hiccups since March but we now are the very proud parents of a beautiful little girl. Ang yes you were right we were delayed for a reason and that reason is our fab little girl. Feel sad as hubbys dad didn't get to meet her but he would have been so very happy and very proud that his wonderful son has stayed strong and is now a Daddy. 

Sky I am so sorry hun it is so unfair hope you get some answers and get things moving soon. Massive hugs flying your way.

Libby    congratulations

Mummy in waiting have they said why?? I am really sorry cause I can't help with the waiting issues we have been totally useless at it.

Popsi the plans for the next few weeks. we meet Bubba's SW next week, the following week we meet foster carers, placement meeting 2 nov, panel hopefully 23 and intros starting early December hee hee busy busy few weeks and then she will be home.


----------



## AoC

Libby, that's fantastic, congratulations!  

MIW, I'm so sorry you've been waiting so long - what reason are they giving?  (((((hugs)))))

That all sounds fab, AAA!


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Well I've just got home from a busy night shift and thought I'd check to see if there was any news from AAA, and wow there's loads of news since yesterday!

AAA- so happy and excited for you, that's great news. Huge congratulations to you and DH. Hopefully she will be home for Xmas. Amazing  

Libby - also very exciting news, congratulations to you to. Fantastic.

MIW-   so sorry your having such a long wait. That must be awful and frustrating for you. Are you registered on 'be my parent'? Can you not start searching yourselves? 

Skyblu - sorry to hear your bad news, how annoying   hope it's nothing to serious x

Well good night from me to all ZZZZzzzzzzzzz


----------



## libby29

Thankyou everyone for your kind posts. Panama he was 16mths yesterday, and soooo cute. He is actually a little boy we were linked to when he was 11mths but due to some legal wrangling with bf it fell through. We haven't seen any other cpr since his that first time so when they came back to us after this messy legal stuff we knew it was meant to be! They said he's been waiting too long now and should have been home with us months ago so they are gonna move fast   .
He actually shares the same b'day as me also (told you it was meant to be   ) its funny how you pick up on little things that help you feel a connection to them, hubby is over the moon that they have the same eye colour which was different 3 months back but sw are amazed that they have actually changed colour and now match hubbies (told you it was meant to be   ) lol.
Anyway sorry for the meeee post again, i'm just excited   
Love to you all x


----------



## Poochie1111

Libby - congratulations on your great news as well.  Some dancing bananas are called for for you too!!


             


Skyblu - sorry you've had some rotten news. What an awful day. Sounds like the nurse was a bit unprofessional by giving you half a story.  I hope the results come through sooner for you. Some big      for you.


MiW - that sounds like a long time to wait.  Why the long delay? I would be going out of my mind   


xx


----------



## AoC

Yes, I meant to say to you Skyblu, that the nurse was way out of order - I can't imagine she's qualified to say what can and can't be managed in surgery.  Grrrrr.  I'm sorry the scan has caused a huge worry for you, and hope things end up better than they seem now.  I'm on Zolly for the endo, and this morning has gifted me with a breakthrough a/f on top of the insomnia and headaches!  Fabulous!    (((((hugs)))))

Libby, it  all sounds perfect and, yes, meant to be!


----------



## MrsYG

Wow... what a fantastic day yesterday    

*AAA is a Mummy*, and *Libby*... Wow, fantastic news for you both. Congratulations  

*Skyblu* - I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day  hope they get you sorted out 

*Mummy in waiting* - The waiting really is the hard part, I can only hope and pray they get a fab match for you soon. It will be worth it when it happens. Stay strong  

*Live in hope* - what do they pick up on at H&S assessment? We've got ours soon.

*Minmouse* - welcome back, hope things go smoothly for you now.

Hi to anyone I've missed 

AFM - we're over half way through HS now, and SW saw my SIL (referee) yesterday which went really well. Hopefully we're still on track for Nov or Dec Approval. Next meeting is tomorrow.

xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all, 
Just a couple of personals..........

Libby.....I'm so sorry hun, I came on here last night to check for news from AAA but didn't read any other posts so didn't see yours  (Unless you mentioned it before and I replied then, not 100% sure, I put it down to 'mushy mummy brain')   
HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!      
            
With all the connections etc it really does sound like it is truly meant to be!  

Skyblu.....I'm so sorry to hear of the news you had yesterday  . I hope the results you get back from the GP bring better news  .
The nurse was very insensitive to word things as she did  

Big hugs to those of you having long waits to be matched  . 
We have one couple left from our prep-group to still be matched and they truly believe that the wait is due to the fact that their particular little one isn't ready for them yet and when they are matched they feel the wait will all make sense. I also look at things this way and although we had a quick match it is how I make sense of many things in life, eg....all the 20+ years that I was unable to have a birth child now make sense as we were meant to be Nemo's Mummy and Daddy  . 
I hope this helps in some way, and it is so hard to see it now, but when you are eventually matched you will be so glad that you had the wait as otherwise you would never have met your particular lo's 

Hi to everyone else,

Luv Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

MIW Ang said almost the same thing to me a few months ago and I thought she was crackers lol. Everyone in the family has been saying there is a reason for all this waiting blah blah blah you know where I am coming from but yesterday I actually said to hubby they are right and it is all worth it. Your little one is just winging its way to mummy and daddy via a very long diversion but once it happens OMG,

Libby     sounds totally perfect and so much the right match awesome feeling xx

Mrs yg fingers crossed for a panel date in Nov/Dec and then a fab child full year ahead xx


----------



## galaxy girl

Hi all,l can't believe all the news I missed yesterday !! Congrats AAA and Libby!! So pleased for you both.

Mummy in waiting -   you get some news soon. The wait is killing me too. 

skyblu - Thinking about you.


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA......Oh _now_ you tell me you think I'm crackers huh!!           
Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj meant it in the nicest possible way


----------



## MrsYG

AAA is a Mummy- are you excited about something      I see you're posting in the middle of the night... can you not sleep   

I would be bouncing off the walls too!


----------



## Duckling

Can't find all my little pics tonight (and can't remember what they're called)?!
First of all Libby MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS!!! Fantastic news! x

Pumpkin hoping you hear something really soon

Mummy in waiting would send you hugs if I could find them, but am thinking it xx

Minmouse hope visit went well

Skyblu you're having a tough time, hoping things pick up soon x

Liveinhope great news, getting closer ...

AAA loads of details from now on please xx

Mrs YG hope meeting went well

Hi everyone else x

Have news. SW phoned yesterday. Coming to see us tomorrow about a possible MATCH AAAAAGH!!! OMG! Have been beside myself since. DH says keep calm, it might not be right, but what if...?! 
Sorry post looks long and boring without pics. Didn't sleep last night so not making sense. Just keep thinking what if??!! 

A completely bonkers Duckling x


----------



## Duckling

Oh thankyou, really need those little praying people!! xx


----------



## libby29

Duckling good luck with getting a good nights sleep tonight    
It makes me all tingly when there could be a possible link, will look forward to hearing what happens and fingers very much crossed that this is your little one    
Hello to everyone and thanks for your congrats, still feel on    and cant stop looking at his pics. Sw phoned today to say she is coming over next week to do this dreaded video of us for littlie, best start practising my baby talk


----------



## AoC

Yay Duckling!


----------



## Poochie1111

Great news Duckling!!!  Yay.  Good luck with your visit.


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck for tomorrow Duckling


----------



## Anjelissa

Wow Duckling! That's wonderful news!!     

Lots of luck for tomorrow     

and some more little praying people as requested  
                 

I'm looking forward to hearing all about it   

Lots of love Anj x


----------



## Duckling

Thanks for kind messages. My emoticons are back!   Phew!
Finding this eve tough - dh acting all cool, saying this might not be it (he's usually so brilliant, and I know it's because he doesn't want me being devastated, but I wish he would say 'wow, we might find out about OUR child tomorrow!')  
Hoping so much this is going to be right     .
Hope everyone else is ok, sorry I'm a bit 'me me' at the minute. My mum's on holiday so I need to talk to my ff friends!  
Duckling x


----------



## minmouse

Evening all,

Duckling - great news on your possible match!!  Look forward to hearing how it goes tomorrow and good luck      

Libby - didn't know u had to do video  , I'm bad enough with photos but how lovely to communicate with your LO.

1st Visit went ok I think, it's normal to be a bit emotional isn't it?! 3hrs, lots of questions and fingers crossed for a place on nov prep group. V worried now about weight / medical  tho  Early medical suggested as dp has history but I know I'm heavier than I should be, is there an official cut off BMI?  Off to hunt on old threads now, and eat lettuce!!

Positive vibes to everyone

M
X


----------



## popsi

OMG duckling........ i am so happy for you cant wait to hear your news xxx

much love to you all, such wonderful times here i am having leaky eyes quite a lot at your posts


----------



## skyblu

Great news Duckling, good luck for tomorrow    coming your way. 

Had a really really bad day today.
I phoned up my surgeons secretary to find out what is happening with my op, only to be told that I have been moved from the gyne list to a rectal list as my hysterectomy has a high risk to my bowel and I wont have the op until May/June 2012 
I could not believe what I was hearing and kicked off big time.
On top of that she said there where 8 patients in front of me and that only 1 patient a month was operated on and the lady who had her op this month had been waiting since September last year. 
To cut a very long story short I went to the citizen advice bururo to see where I stood legally.
The lady I saw was really nice and was amazed what I told her.
She looked up the NHS waiting times criteria and according to this, that anyone waiting for a operation in Wales has a waiting list of 26 weeks or a maximum 36 weeks for complex surgery(which mine is) and this starts from the date your GP refers you to a consultant.
So going by this I should of had my operation in September by the 36 week guide line and if I don't have my op until May/June 2012 that would be a max of 76 weeks 
So we have not sent a letter of complaint to the Chief of the Cardiff Nhs trust and hope fully that should get things moving, fingers crossed.

The only problem I have now is, how the hell do I tell my SW and what delays is this going to have on the assessment.
Does anyone on here reckon they will let me carry on and still go to panel as my GP told me before I even started this that there would not be a problem with my medical. Or will they delay things until I have had the op.
I just feel in limbo and my life is put on hold again because of incompetent people who haven't got a clue what it feels like to have your life constantly disrupted by the bl**dy NHS.

Sorry for the rant girls but if I don't let it out here I would explode.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## minmouse

Skyblu,

What a terrible time you've had!   

Sounds like going to CAB and getting that letter out is the best thing u could possibly do. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom. Good luck with getting an earlier date, fingers crossed for you.
M
X


----------



## skyblu

Thanks Minmouse.

Skyblu.x


----------



## AoC

That is outrageous, Sky! (And I'm speaking as an NHS employee) Whatever happened to "no decision about me without me" At the very least, you should have been informed about it. Gah.

It's likely that you will be contacted to ask how you want your complaint resolved (see this, assuming this is the right trust - http://www.cardiffandvaleuhb.wales.nhs.uk/concerns-complaints-enquiries) Be ready with an answer - i.e., you want a written apology for such a decision to have been made without your involvement or consent, and you want your op expedited, or you want to go elsewhere and have your op by a certain date.

As for how this will impact your process, I just don't know.  All you can do is chat it through with your SW.

Min, there's a lovely bit in our initial report from SW which says something like, "AoC and AoC's DH feel they are slightly overweight but are happy with their size. The eat a healthy and varied diet." That's all that was said about it, although they don't yet know our BMIs, so I'm prepared for that to change! I would press the point if they started pressuring us to lose weight, as we're both active and not sedentary, and I had enough of that very unhealthy pressure during tx. I think I'm hovering around BMI 31.

If they still wanted me to lose weight, I'd challenge them to dance Portland Hill (a very vigorous North-West Clog Morris dance) with me, and see who was more fit and healthy.... ggg

/links


----------



## Duckling

Skyblu, feel so bad for you, what a shambles they are. Really hope they get back to you soon.  

Well sw came - linked to a little boy, 10 months old. Sounds so lovely. Meeting foster carers in 2 weeks. Intros won't be before Christmas, so a bit sad we're missing his first birthday and Christmas. But... wow! Feel so shocked and lucky.

Duckling x


----------



## minmouse

Evening ladies,

duckling - that's SO exciting!! What a fabulous thing to look forward to in New Year   
congratulations, a lovely age too. Let us know more news, I can't get enough success stories, it gives such hope to those of us just starting out or delayed. You must be over the moon! 

AoC - you did make me laugh with your Portland Hill challenge  , love it. I've scoured all the old threads and it seems there's no hard & fast rule on BMI it varies by LA / GPs, although c. 30 seems to a guideline. You'll be fine, I on the other hand am c. 34, and NOT terribly fit. So the diet started last night and I have a few weeks to get fit!


----------



## skyblu

Thanks ladies for your support.

Aoc Thanks for your link.
It seem the person I sent my letter to was different to the one it says to on the link you adviced me to look at.
I sent mine to -

Mr Stephen Allen
Chief Officer
Cardiff Community Health Council

Will this be just as good,better or no good.

This what I was adviced by the Citizens advice bureau.

Any feed back would be great.

Thanks again 
Skyblu.xx


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Sooooooooo much excitement at the min.

Congratulations Duckling, fantastic news. I'm loving the success stories at the min and all the ages of the links are perfect. Fantastic, you must be over joyed  

Skyblu - that's terrible. I'd send your letter to as many 'big wigs' you can find on the trust website including the chief executive of the hospital. Also I'd go back to your GP and get referred to a different hospital with a shorter waiting list. You have the right to choose where you get treatment/operations within the NHS. Plus I'm sure you can demand the trust pays for private treatment/operations if they can't provide the necessary within their guided time frame. Do your research and kick off big style, sounds like you need your Op ASAP, don't take it lightly, you deserve better care. Good luck   x


----------



## Poochie1111

Skyblu - wish you were getting better news at the moment.  Sounds like you are doing the right thing by complaining. I think too many people going through the NHS are just too accepting and don't complain about wait times.  You have enough on your plate at the moment with them adding these ridiculous wait times on top.  Really hope you can get this resolved soon xx    


Duckling - that's fab news about your LO.  Just think, you'll have the best Christmas knowing he's just around the corner!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling fab news hun  is hubby happy now?? Its an amazing feeling we are still up there in the clouds somewhere xx

Sky    I really don't know what to say hun it is so unfair. I think all you can do is talk to Sw might be worth trying to find out a bit more info about alternatives first re NHS etc. All SW's are different I can only go on our experience and we were allowed to complete HS but couldn't go to approval panel until after op and was recovered and back at work. I wish I could find a magic wand and make it all go away hun. 

AOC both hubby and I are over weight but for us this is mainly down to the awful year we have had however it was just a mention on the medical advisers report that it was something we should be aware of dah as if we aren't!  I am sure once we have Bubba home it will fall off. 

Hope everyone has alovely weekend it looks a bit frosty outside today but the sun is shining as we are going shopping so all good


----------



## AoC

Yes, aaa, I think ours will fall off when we have a littley to run around after! 

Skyblu, I'm a bit hamstrung because it looks like the Welsh structure of health trusts is different. BUT it says here (http://www.wales.nhs.uk/sitesplus/897) that the Community Health Council is a kind of watchdog body, not an NHS one. So they can advise and support, but can't make change happen. I would take the letter you've already written to them, copy it, and send it to the Chief Executive of the hospital, and the Complaints Manager of the hospital.

Assuming it's one of these (http://www.cardiffandvaleuhb.wales.nhs.uk/hospitals-within-cardiff-and-vale) hospitals, then the people you need are:-

Mrs Jan Williams
Chief Executive
Cardiff and Vale University Health Board Headquarters
Whitchurch Hospital
Park Road
Whitchurch
Cardiff CF14 7XB.

Angela Hughes
Cardiff and Vale University Health Board Headquarters
Whitchurch Hospital
Park Road
Whitchurch
Cardiff CF14 7XB

(Note to Volunteers: this is publicly available information from websites, to facilitate a complaint)

If you write to the Complaints Manager, it should activate their own complaints policy and you should get an acknowledgement within two working days. If you don't - call them! As a beleaguered NHS buereacrat myself, can I make a plea that you remember it's not their fault originally, and they will try and resolve things for you (often in difficult circumstances!)

The Community Health Council will help if you need extra advice/support through the process, I think.

Good luck! Let me know if I can help with anything else. I'm in a sister department to Complaints where I work, so I understand *a bit* about how it works.

/links


----------



## libby29

Duckling, you just made me cry    
sooooo happy for you both, its a fab feeling isnt it?!    Our match is with a little boy also (just turned 16mths), dh cant stop smiling about having a son to play footy with. Have they given you a date for matching panel yet?


----------



## Pink Lady 66

Just to say our intros are going so very very well, we have fallen in love with our LO and cant wait til he moves in with us permantley


----------



## skyblu

Thank you Aoc,

I will copy the letter today and send it off to both parties.
I don't blame the NHS it's self it is the Welsh Assembly.
I know they might of given us free prescriptions but the waiting lists are longer and they have taken the rights of a surgeons decision out of their hands and instead a pen pusher in a office who has no clue what health matter means what  
I know this for a fact as  a surgeon of mine wanted to do a la pascopy op on me asap and was willing to do it on his day off on a Saturday he had the staff the Theatre was empty but they would not let him do it.

I am rambling now, so thanks again Aoc and good luck with your journey. 

Skyblu.xx


----------



## Duckling

Thanks for lovely messages everyone. Still sinking in. Can't believe that after wanting it for so long, it's happening. Both feel so lucky. 
AAA - Dh is really feeling it now.   I knew as soon as sw rang that this was probably it. But mr laidback just didn't get it, so he's been in complete shock since she visited! (I think it's helping to numb the rugby pain too!  ) It's strange that we waited so long for a family and at the end it's happened so quickly. I was telling dh about you this week, thinking it might be us soon, and then before the week was up, it was!
Panel will be December now Libby. They say that we won't make the November one. Have you bought any little boy things yet?!
Also he's 11 months, not 10, when we worked it out after sw left!  

Minmouse so glad posts helping. Popsi knows that her diary was the biggest factor in me deciding to go for adoption, no exageration. Anj thankyou too for your calm, positive posts. I hope you'll be there for advice   .

Duckling xx


----------



## panorama

Duckling - so so chuffed for you!! Hope it will go quickly, we had to wait a couple months which was a bit annoying but well worth it  Will be a fab start to 2012 for you!! It is such a lovely age too, our LO just gets cuter every day 


Skyblu - so   for you!! Really hope the letter helps, must be so so frustrating   


Pink - glad it's all going well, so exciting!!


Libby - so lovely for DH too   


AAA - you done much shopping yet?    


Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend!! We sent our forms in yesterday and then realised left the marriage certificate out   so will have to send it in separately!! Mummy brain moment!!   


p xx


----------



## libby29

Good evening everyone, thought i would pop on and say hello while dinners cooking. 
Duckling... Yeah we have started buying things as once we have mp its more or less straight into intros so wanted to get things sorted. We know that its probably a good idea to keep the receipts though. We already had the furniture and pushchair etc as knew the age range we were approved for would need the things we got. Need to paint and buy EVERYTHING else though. We dont get settling in allowance either which is slightly annoying but never mind, nothing can put me in a downer at the mo   . 
So mp is dec then hun...will be here in a blink of a eye   
Pink Lady soooo glad things are going well for you, i can not wait to be posting something similar soon.  
aaa... might bump into up on     
Skyblue... i'm sorry your having such a rubbish time sweetie, you will get there just stay strong   
Pananam.... hows littlie doing? xxx


----------



## julesF

hi all


its been a while since i have been on but it has been good to see how everyone has been getting, the LOs have been home a while, they are enjoying school and things seem to be going well, that is not to say it hasn't been hard, harder then we ever thought it could be. the shock of 2 little people suddenly dominating your life is crazy mad. Since returning to work I feel better, DH is off till Jan, he is doing great as a house husband, but the routine is repetitive


to those of you on intros, they are draining, i hated every minute and just wanted to get home, the first month at home was awful and i wanted to end the placement on more occasions than i care to mention, i can't recall what or when the turning point was but it came and although i still have bad days i can see daily the impact stability and a loving caring home is having on these kids


just my ramblings as I sit dazed and tired after another weekend of kid filled activities combined with trying to spend time with DH, their homework and my own marking!


----------



## KG81

Hello
We have panel tomorrow morning, although we are looking forward to it, am quite anxious about it.
Do you know how long is it? 
Do you have to speak a lot? Our sw said we will be fine as our case is straight forward, just wishing we wouldnt be so nervous about it....
Karen x x


----------



## Duckling

Hi, I was hideously nervous for ours, but it can't have been longer than 20 mins. We were only called in for about 5 of those. They listed all the things they liked and then asked a couple of questions, one I remember was 'how did you enjoy the training?' They looked intimidating when we walked in but I smiled at each one as they introduced themselves and they all gave a nice smile back. We didn't have to talk very much, though I did have awful trouble getting any words out when it was my turn to talk.  
It will be fine. Lots of luck.  xx


----------



## KG81

Thanks Duckling


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Evening ladies, hope your all well

KG81- best of luck with panel tommorrow, I'm sure ull be fine  

JulesF- nice to hear from you and glad things are improving with you. It's lovely to hear when things go smoothly but it's useful to hear the reality of adapting and the hard times we've got to come. We keep trying to imagine having a little one to care for and re-arranging our routines and life styles to accommodate but I can imagine nothing can prepare us for when it actually happens. I can't imagine taking two on, it's like double trouble all at once! Your LO's are older as well aren't they? I imagine it being challenging as they have more bad habits etc to try and correct. Hats off to you and DH, and sounds as thou your doing a great job. You will have an amazing Xmas with them. Please keep us updated.

AFM- nothing to report really. DH is laughing at me coz I've took on work and home projects to keep me busy until Prep course. I always have to have something to focus on. I'm going back to Uni to do a shirt module for work and suddenly decided we are going to re-decorate the dining room yesterday as I started moving stuff around and got carried away. Is it too early to start nesting?? Haha  

Xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

No time for personals unfortunately, just popped in quickly to catch up.
Just want to say.......

KG81.....Lots of luck for panel tomorrow.  We were sooooo nervous (just like everyone else) but it will be all over before you know it and then you will be able to sit back and celebrate!   
Luv Anj x


----------



## minmouse

Good luck for tomorrow KG81


----------



## julesF

miracles do happen after all, their SW finally got in touch, may have something to do with the hour long phone call friday night with the head of social services where i ranted, maoned and stated very clearly what i needed for the kids. Not much just a letter for speech therapist to confirm they are still in care so LO can jump up the list and not have to wait 6mnths and a visit to sort out education plans,  but after 2 mnths she is going to visit and sort out their PEPs at school
you wouldn't think that their SW is required to visit twice a mnth in the first 3mnths of placement would you!


----------



## skyblu

Best of luck tomorrow KG81 

sKYBLU.X


----------



## KG81

Thank you everybody


----------



## AoC

Good luck KG81!  You'll be fine - and don't forget to come and tell us so we can celebrate with you!


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck tomorrow KG81 - then I think its me next


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

KG81 Good Luck hun. We were both total nervous wrecks so much so I couldn't tell you how long it was. It is a very sureal experience I can remember thinking afterwards as we walked down the road with SW I wish she would clear off as I just wanna jump up and down and kiss my hubby      She must think we are a really odd couple cause she didn't get any reaction from us that day and again when we heard about Bubba on Tuesday we just sat there very poker faced as soon as we'd shut the front door we stood there cuddling crying and  laughing. 

Pink lady really pleased intros are going well soon be home   

Panaroma well have we done much shopping um does 2 car loads full count hee hee. We still have wheels and car seat and a few other bits and pieces to get but her room is ready and looks lovely. 

Jules pleased things are getting easier and hope SW gets those things sorted for you quickly xx

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend


----------



## KG81

Hello!
The panel recommended us for one child between 0 to 2     

It was very stressful, we went in for about 15 minutes, and hubby rambled a bit answering questions, then they came back to see us congratulating us. 
But we have to wait a week monday (on the 31st) to have the decision maker approval, so I am not really excited today as i feel something could still come up, i know he could defer the panel's decision if he wanted more information or anything else...
Now wishing for the next 2 weeks to just fly by   as i won't get excited until we get the confirmation.

Karen x x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

KG81 - That is fantastic news,  *congratualtions*  I understand how you feel, Im sure I will be exactly the same, holding out for that final decision/confirmation. But try and have a celebration tonight, you deserve it 

x


----------



## AoC

WOO HOOOOO KG81!!!!!!!  Well done you!  Just look how far you've come and what you've achieved....  wonderful!


----------



## MrsYG

Fabulous news KG81       

It must be nerve wracking waiting for the final sign off from the decision maker, but allow yourselves a little celebration, you deserve it!   

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

KG81 Fab news hun celebrate we were told that the decision maker is really only signing it off and had never over turned a decision by the panel that was our LA so would imagine it is probably the same everywhere it is all red tape! Now go celebrate


----------



## Duckling

_*Congratulations KG81!!*_ So pleased for you. We were told too that agency decision maker is just a formality. x
Jules so glad things looking brighter. 
Pink Lady lovely to hear intros going well - keep us informed.
AAA was I relieved about your reaction to news of lo. Have been worrying over w/e about our reactions. We hardly said a word. Hopefully lots of people are like that.
Hi to everyone, hope ok. xx


----------



## skyblu

KG81  Congratulations    

Afm Sw called today and told her about the op fiasco, and said to hold fire not to panic and she will have a chat with her manager 
and hopfully I will have a positive answer next Tuesday wether we can continue or not, she also said it was in our favour as we had been honest about my health, so fingers crossed all will go well. Just more bloody waiting, I hate waiting 

Skyblu.x


----------



## Anjelissa

Congratulations KG81! 

That's wonderful news!      

Lots of luck for a short wait  

Luv Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj loving the elephant xx

Duckling it was just such an odd feeling and it was a whole set of emotions neither of us wanted to share with a SW! But OMG the emotions have all been there since. I just remember thinking god what must she be thinking of us    Hope you are still loving the feeling 

KG hope you are ok and did celebrate achieving one of the milestones on this journey xx

Sky hope you get a positive answer on Tuesday, I defo think you have been right to be honest makes things so much easier in the long run xx

Hope everyone is ok we are meeting Bubba's SW tomorrow feel really nervous flat looks like a show home again LOL when will I stop caring that there is a spec of dust!


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - Hope everything goes well tomorrow    Relax, they chose you already, I'm sure things will be fine.  Let us all know how you go on.   

x


----------



## Poochie1111

KGB        that's fab news.  Congratulations!!!!


AAA - lots of luck for tomorrow. It's going to be fine.   


x


----------



## Anjelissa

Lots of luck for today AAA, I bet you're really excited and nervous all rolled in to one!!

On our first visit with Nemo's sw we were so excited as it was the first time we were going to see a picture of him. His sw spoke to us for what seemed like ages holding her paper work (that we could see had pics of Nemo on the back). We couldn't really concentrate on what she was saying as we we were just trying to get a better look. I think she realised this as she made a joke and said, ''I suppose you want to see his photos''  ....Er....yessssss!!!!!!
The first thought was OMG how beautiful, cute and adorable is he!!!.....2nd thought....WOW at how much he looks like my DH!!!     

Enough of this reminiscing, I am sat here with wet hair and need to get it sorted whilst Nemo is on nap.

Lots and lots and lots of luck, and enjoy hearing all about your lo  

Love Anj x


----------



## AoC

Oh man, I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to that moment, Anjelissa.  

Good luck today, AAA!


----------



## KG81

I cant believe it, i just had a phone call from our social worker, she wants to see us tomorrow to talk about a 15 months old little boy!!!         
We are both shocked and so exited!!!
Karen


----------



## MrsYG

WOW... thats fantastic KG    You must be so excited    I hope we get linked that quickly!

Fantastic... fingers crossed for you. xx


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations KG - bet you cant stop smiling


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

KG awesome news hun wow that was really quick oh fingers crossed I am so excited for you   
                                                                              

Well Sw's came was a bit weird really Bubba's sw is so different from ours and felt bit like pulling teeth! She told us some more about our lovely daughter they both had a look at the room and were laughing at the amount of clothes we have brought! There aren't that many honest think cause they are all winter stuff it looks like more! Well actually it isn't all winter stuff cause have some summer dress we brought in the sale! We are not starting intros on 6th Dec so bit sad cause it means she will only have been home for a few days before christmas so don't think we will be leaving the house over Christmas at all! They went on and on and on and on about not having people round for 2 weeks how at Christmas!?!?! Our SW then said a very odd thing! " this might still not happen you know they could still say no at matching panel""  PLEASE PLEASE tell me this won't happen! I am feeling slightly sick at that thought surely after all this they wouldn't take our precious girl away from us!


----------



## minmouse

Evening all,

kG - Amazing news! What a quick link   and there was you not fully accepted approval! So very exciting! 

Aaa - getting closer now, what a Christmas gift for you, can't wait to be at that stage  

M
X


----------



## Poochie1111

Flippin eck KGB, that's fantastic news.  What a week!!!!!!   


AAA - they won't say no at matching panel.  Just think what a wonderful Christmas it will be with her.  The best present you could ever wish for


----------



## KG81

Thanks  
I guess we must have been approved then! 
Can't wait tomorrow to know more about this  little boy    
Karen x x


----------



## skyblu

Blinkin heck KG, that was quick, Congrats 

AAA - I'm sure they wont take her away from you, try and be posative hun 

Skybl.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

KG bet you have had very little sleep. I am so excited for you can't wait to hear more news xx

Thanks everyone we are both still not working at all in December which will be lovely hubby needs to recharge his batteries a bit after a tough couple of years so he will now have 2 weeks to do that so maybe it has happened for a  reason. We just want her home now xx


----------



## AoC

OMG KG!  That's brilliant, how fantastic!!  

AAA, it's going to be okay.  And staying home without visitors at Christmas is easy - when you've got a little one home for the first time!  When you explain to your friends and family, they will understand - especially if you frame it as a way they can support and help you.


----------



## Anjelissa

KG......Wow!!  

 HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!!
We were linked within a few days too, it is so unexpected isn't it!! I bet you're still recovering from the shock! (a wonderful shock though  )

AAA.....All will be fine  . It's natural to feel nervous for matching panel though as there's so much at stake.
It sounds crazy but with each day that goes by you connect more and more with this little person that you have yet to meet and in our case by the time we went to matching panel, we felt like we already had a bond to our little man (obviously only from our end as little Nemo hadn't a Scooby what was going on at that point, bless him  ), but I'm sure you know what I mean.

Have a great weekend,

Luv Anj xx


----------



## Duckling

_*Congratulations KG!*_ How fantastic! Our links are being made very quickly after approval! Still don't think we've recovered from the shock. So pleased for you. xx

AAA we had the same message in an email, think it may have been because we were talking about intros, put a bit of a dampner on things. We are meeting lo's social worker on Wednesday - petrified! Seem to spend most of my life in a hyper state at the minute! Just want to have him home and start giving him love.
Still humming and hawing over which cot. It's so lovely to start buying!  
Skyblu sending you 

Happy Friday
Duckling


----------



## KG81

SW just left, the profile of the little boy is perfect, couldnt wish for anything else. 
We are calling her on Monday to confirm our interest, his SW will then meet with us and if she agrees we will go to the next panel


----------



## libby29

KG81..........FANTASTIC YAY!!!     Such an amazing feeling isn't it?!   Hold on to your hats now because things if its anything like our match will move soooo fast   .
our sw came round today to pick up all our signed forms for mp and drop off the dreaded video recorder for dvd we have to make (groan) for little one. She also told us they have moved moving in date from 25th nov to 23rd if all goes well. Things just seem to be going from right for us at last   . Almost finished lo's room, just need to put the border and the wall sticker we brought up but it already looks FAB and sw's all think its wonderful, sooo happy again today! xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

KG yeah enjoy the feeling hun it truely is amazing xx

Anj we are so in love with her already. Someone came into work with a little girl who was just a year, after she'd gone I turned round to my manager and burst into tears spluttering I am gonna have one like that soon OMG what a wally! We both love her so much we say good morning and good night to her photo every single day    hee hee

Duckling its weird isn't it how close things are with us both, another FF has just suggested we have 2 Christmas could be a plan 

Libby yeah full steam ahead xxx

Well thank gawd for the weekend


----------



## Poppets Mammy

A short one from me today, just had the shift from hell!  

Just want to pass on our huge congratulations to KG, I'm sooooo pleased for you both. Fantastic news. Everything seems so exciting for a lot of us at the mo. Can't wait to be where you are  

Xx


----------



## MrsYG

KG - thats fantastic news    so pleased for you.

Libby - It must be great to be putting the finishing touches to your LO's room, how lovely   

Duckling - Hope the meeting with LO's SW goes well.   I can't wait to be at the stage where we can start buying things.  I find myself daydreaming in shops looking at clothes, prams, even wallpaper and stickers    haha.  Enjoy it! x

Hello to everyone else.

AFM...we only have 1 more HS meeting left.  It seems to have passed really quickly now.  Panel is booked for 14 Dec, and then we go on holiday to Mexico for 2 weeks. (Hopefully our last long haul for a while, and the last holiday just the two of us.  Exciting but we're nervous too!

Enjoy the weekend girls xx


----------



## galaxy girl

hi everyone .....well since friday evening we are now FC's for two children on a short term placement (prob for 3 months). we have been respite fostering for them at wekends and heard on fri at 4.15 that they were arriving at 6 p.m to stay..... head still spinning. 

lots to sort out - its half term next weekend - i have to go in to work on monday and beg for leave!


----------



## KG81

Morning!
Gettinng stressed watching the final, so trying to keep busy!   

MrsYG: Mexico sounds fantastic, December will be busy for you   

Duckling: when are you meeting lo's sw? please let us know how it goes   

I just gave a ring to our sw to confirm our interest (couldn't wait tomorrow!), she said she will contact lo'sw and arrange a meeting, she said if it goes well we will proceed. I asked her if they will look everywhere around the house, she said yes, so we will have to make sure everything is clean and tidy   
Now wondering what she will ask us? What kind of questions will she ask? What should we ask her? We aleady know a lot from our sw, we will have questions for the foster carers but can't think of anything to ask the lo's sw?

Haven't slept well since panel, don't think it will get better   

x x


----------



## KG81

gg, wow 2 of then and such a short notice! good luck


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

GG wow hope you manage to get some leave hun busy few months ahead x

KG we met Bubba's sw on thurs and we couldn't think of any questions to ask, like you we have loads for foster carer! She basically just told us a bit more about her and the background was an odd meeting if I am honest. She did look in Bubba's room in fact our SW had a nose as well think she was shocked with the transformation in a week    pink explosion. Hope it all goes really well and smoothly for you hun xx

Duckling hope Wed goes well I was a wreck on Thurs and was a very bizarre meeting can't really say why just felt odd having another stranger asking more pointless questions! Spent alot of time talking about parking for panel! We managed it when we went to approval panel all on our own but for some reason they both felt like they had to tell us what to do this time    very odd!

Mrs YG lets hope you have a lovely hoilday and come home to a match how amazing would that be fingers crossed. xx

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. We now have Bubba's wheels and her car seat is on order! To all you lovely ladies in waiting hang in there because it will happen and omg when it does it really is the best feeling in the world!


----------



## KG81

Just had a call from our SW, lo's SW is coming to see us a week Thursday, the 3rd, and providing she agrees to the match she will try to get to the November panel which is on the 15th


----------



## MrsYG

KG -       Fabulous news, fingers crossed the LO's SW is in agreement, Although it sounds pretty positive if they are trying to get you to Nov Panel... how exciting... if everything runs smoothly will you have LO home for Christmas   

So excited for you...


----------



## KG81

We would start intro beginning of December I think, so yes we would have him for Christmas!!!


----------



## KG81

I asked our SW and she said its ok to buy the bedroom furniture on the weekend!!! Soooo excited!!!


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just popping in to say hi   
So much exciting news on here atm!   

Sorry no time for personals, but I am trying to keep up with all the news   

Luv Anj x


----------



## MrsYG

KG81 said:


> We would start intro beginning of December I think, so yes we would have him for Christmas!!!


How wonderful....the best Christmas gift ever.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

kg81 yeah fab news hun. shop shop shop its lovely x

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## Duckling

Hi all,
KG fantastic news, so exciting! You're so lucky having him home for Christmas. x

Lo's fc and sw coming tomorrow. Very nervous. Had massive cleaning session. Lovely cot arrived today! DH putting up now - no swearing yet!  
We've been told won't go to panel til December and no intros til January as don't do in December. Wrote a very nice email trying to persuade to make November panel, but told very firmly not possible. Very frustrating as know it can be done and want our little one to start his life with us, but have to let it go...

Hope everyone's good. 
Duckling x


----------



## KG81

Duckling  
Do you know when they have the panel in November? They won't make it as maybe it's early November? 
We've been told that if we end up going in December panel, intro would be January too  
But you know he will be with you soon


----------



## skyblu

Hi ladies, a little me post.
Had good news today, S/W and her manager are happy for us to go to panel in February and depending where we are regarding my hysterectomy we might have to wait a while for a match.
We are so happy at the moment, we really thought it was going to be stopped until I had my hysterectomy in May.
I would also say a big thank you to AoC for giving me the contacts for the complaint.
I have had a letter and a chat to the investigating officer as she said I will have an outcome by 29 Nov the lastest and she is hoping I will get my op in December, fingers crossed.

Duckling and KG, Congrats on your matches and I know it is easy for me to say at the moment but I am sure the time will soon go by and your little ones will soon be home with you.   

Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sky that is the best news i am so happy for you and hooray for FF and AOC xx

Duckling    not fair hun and I totally understand your frustrations.    Little man will be home soon and then by next Christmas he will be all yours and what a wonderful Christmas 2012 will be xx

We have Bubba's foster carer and our SW coming today so massive clean done this morning, just got bathroom to do and hoover but a bit early to be doing that! I don't think upstairs will be very happy if I start hoovering now    Today is hopefully the last visit here until Bubba is home phew!


----------



## AoC

ARgh, Duckling, I understand your frustration!  But he'll be here soon - it'll go really quickly!  

Oh phew, Sky!  Complaints can be so off-putting and inpenetrable!  I'm glad even my ham-fisted signposting was useful.    You're very welcome.    Fingers crossed for an op in Dec, and yay for proceeding to Feb panel!  

Exciting AAA!


----------



## Duckling

Should be finishing cleaning for my visit but wanted to say Skyblu that's great news! So pleased for you. x Really hope you get op in Dec.
Hi AoC, KG and AAA. Hope your visit goes well too AAA. xxx
Duckling x


----------



## KG81

Skyblu that's great for your op


----------



## Duckling

Meeting with lo's sw and adoption worker went really well. They were such nice people. They want to go ahead with us. Had lovely photos! Hope yours went well too AAA. 
Getting really excited now but a lovely feeling of calm too.   xxx


----------



## KG81

That's fantastic Duckling!!!   
So lovely to have photos  
Did they ask you many questions?


----------



## skyblu

Congrats Duckling 
Won't be long now until lo is home with you 
Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling thanks FC was amazing he was so funny and really a breath of fresh air compared to Bubba's SW last week. We might be facing an appeal from birth mother so was a bit of a wet fish to a lovely meeting, just got to wait and see what happens. Both    that it doesn't happen and trying to carry on as normal, we brought some nappies yesterday and are trying to be brave. Pleased your visit went well hun all systems go now. 

Hope everyone is ok almost Friday yeah


----------



## liveinhope

We have panel today   Hardly slept a wink last night with all the excitement!  Didnt think this day would ever come
xx


----------



## AoC

GOOD LUCK LiveinHope!    But you won't need it!  EXCITING!!!!


----------



## KG81

Thinking of you Liveinhope


----------



## Duckling

*Good Luck* *Liveinhope!* Will be thinking of you 

Hi everyone, hope all ok.
AAA glad fc was lovely. Ours didn't come - no explanation, but meeting before panel. Really   for you no contesting. Told us in prep that birth mother saying this can be common, but when it comes down to it she doesn't actually go through with it. Really hope this is the case for you.  Know what you mean about trying to be brave. This is your time to enjoy and you deserve it. x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just a quick 'in and out'.... 

liveinhope.....lots of luck for today, you'll be fine   

Luv Anj x


----------



## liveinhope

Panel said yes        - of course decision needs to be ratified but was told there shouldnt be any problem!  Social worker coming out to visit 17th November to share profiles of possible children.  Out to celebrate with family later, thanks to you all for your support, it means a lot!


----------



## KG81

Brilliant news!!!


----------



## Anjelissa

liveinhope......That's wonderful news!    Enjoy your celebration! 

       

Luv Anj x


----------



## Duckling

_*Congratulations Liveinhope!!!*_
So pleased for you  xx


----------



## MrsYG

Liveinhope - Thats fantastic news  Congratulations, enjoy the celebrations, and good luck for 17th, hope you get a match really soon.

Things are moving on so quickly on here at the moment, long may it continue. 

AFM - We have our last planned HS tonight, unless SW decides she needs more info on anything  Should have our report by 18th Nov  Hope we get moving as quick as everyone else.

xx


----------



## panorama

Mrs YG - not long now! 


LIH - congrats!!!! Enjoy the celebration and hope you find a match soon!   


Duckling - brilliant news for you too!! Woo Hoo!!   


AAA - we had the exact thing happen, after getting matched BM contested and we had 2 month wait for court case, we were told all along she would not win, but we were worried nonetheless. In fact she ended dropping it after a month but we still had to wait for the court to give the placement order. Has your LO not had the placement order yet then? Fingers crossed for you, they would not be putting them up for adoption if they thought there was any chance of placement order not being given by court.      


KG81 - great news too for you! Shame you have to wait but you will start 2012 on a great note, last chance of a boozy xmas for you!   


Skyblu - that's great news for you that you don't have to wait, hope they get back to you on op soon   


Hello to everyone else, so much lovely news on here!    Long may it continue!


We're doing well, bubba very confidently walking now but now just wants to run!    He is also sleeping through so much better thanks to trying out one of those baby sleeping bags, yay, feel so much more human!  He is lovely, been 3 months now we have had him and it has flown, definitely changing fast but love him to bits!    My mum and dad came over, they live abroad and he absolutely loved my dad, lots of giggles! Hope everyone can get to this stage soon, it still feels like a dream sometimes, after all we went through, but he is definitely worth it!   


panorama x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Panorama wow how did it get to 3 months it doesn't seem like 5 mins ago must be lovely can't wait xx

LIH yeah fab news so pleased for you roll on 17th have a lovely evening   

Mrs YG fingers crossed it will all be wrapped up soon xx

Think we might be ok! Just had another one of those read between the line emails and we both think it will be ok phew I have felt poo all day! Introductions start on the 8th Dec yeah and the plan has lots of time here can't wait we are so excited please let it all go smoothly now cause I don't wanna be totally grey before our daughter comes home!


----------



## minmouse

Hi all, I've come for my daily dose of positivity! As always lovely stories from all. 

Congratulations Liveinhope, must be a fab feeling!      

Mx


----------



## Irishlady

Congratulations live in hope!! Hope you are are having a great evening celebrating   

We got our draft form f today   so things are progressing!!

xx


----------



## Poochie1111

Congratulations Live in hope.  Fantastic news!!!  Some dancing bananas for you (not quite as impressive as Anj's dancing apples and mangos though)           


Panorama - so glad to hear everything is going brilliantly


Irishlady - great to hear things are moving along!


AAA- what is your SW like with her cryptic emails?   


Mrs YG - yay to your last HS session!!!!


Skyblu - sounds really positive about your panel date. Feb will be here in no time.


x


----------



## sieve

Hi there
Not been on in a while as been very busy!  Cannot believe our dd has been with us for nearly a month and is asleep upstairs.  we are getting on amazingly well, the best feeling in the world.  To all of you going through the process, hang on in there..... it is so worth it in the end!


----------



## skyblu

LIH- Congrats       Hope you have had a great evening.

AAA- Your S/W is so naughty with her cryptic emails  I sure all will be o.k 

Skyblu.xx


----------



## KG81

Hello!
We ordered the furniture yesterday! We will go to the shop to pick it up on Sunday, can't wait! We bought the quilt, lamp shade, rug and nice stuff to put on the wall


----------



## libby29

We have to do the dreaded dvd this weekend spin and we are absolutely dreadind it (i even hate having my picture taken). Having to talk baby talk to a video camera without us bursting out laughing will be very hard. How did all you ladies/guys get through it? Surely we can't be the only ones that feel like complete idiots doing it   . OOOOh and mp is 1wk on monday, eeek! and hopefully if that goes the right way intros start 2wks monday and he comes home to us for ever the following wednesday. OMG!!!  
Oh almost forgot about that dvd for a second then, must go and practise toddler talk in the mirror


----------



## panorama

Libby -    thank god we never had to do that! We just had a Tomy photo album where we put photos and recorded our voices, that was bad enough!  One for the archives for sure for you, good luck!


----------



## julesF

libby i can appreciate how you feel we did ours in JUne and it was cringe worthy, but the FC as useless as they were said it really helped settle the kids, ours are 4 and 7 so we talked normally, but it was with hindsight all part of the fun of getting prepared for them, as it is a huge change nothing can prepare you for it


best of luck


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby snap we are planning on doing ours this weekend! I could have brained hubby, we have done the tomy photo album and SW and FC were almost convinced it would be enough and then hubby pipes up was just gonna read some nursery rhymes or a story on it nothing special so SW agreed it should be done     Think we are just going to read a story or 2 rather than damaging poor Bubba with us singing nursery ryhmes! Good Luck 
Wow won't be long until little man is home all happening very quickly! 

Jules hope things are easier now hun xx

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend xx


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - I have visions now of a "Rod Jane & Freddy" type singing & dancing performance     I REALLY hope we don't have to do one, I hate the sound of my own voice, I always cringe    

Hope everyone is having a great weekend


----------



## Autumn Jade

Hi All! 

I'm new on the adoption thread and have just read through the posts for the last week or so and am still crying now! I'm so please that your journeys have such a great outcome and although I'm a complete bluberer (?? is that a word?!) it's so inspirational reading your stories, thank you x x  

Libby & aaa, hope your dvds went well- I had no idea that we may be asked to do one but loving the reading a story idea! Hope they went well and I'm sure however goofy it felt doing it your lo's will love it 

Mrs YG- I thought we were at about the same stage, we started HS  in Aug and had prep in Sept- but it seems you've nearly finished!! Wow! Well done! Are you with agency or LA? Have they given you any idea about a panel date?

Congratulations to Living in Hope, Duckling & Skyblu- you must be sooo happy! 

It's also really lovely reading everyone on here's signatures and seeing such positive journeys- I'm aMAzed at how short the time to wait has been for some of you- we were warned on one open evening by an adoptive mum that she waited two years! Eek! And also how little your matched lo's are- we've been completely lectured about how hard it is to get pre-schoolers due to how the removal system is :/ 

Is anyone else looking to adopt/ has adopted siblings??

Hope you all having lovely weekends!!

AJ x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

AJ welcome to the thread everyone on here is lovely and will be really helpful. Are you LA or VA?

Libby how did it got hun?? We haven' done ours whoops, ended up at my mums yesterday and then been at the zoo all day with 3 nephews and my friend and her 2 older girls we are both shattered.

KG hope the furniture is all good, its so lovely looking at that sort of stuff and being able to think yeah that will work or won't! 

Mrs YG I hate my voice as well, when FC and SW were here last week they kept opening the pages on the Tomy book over and over and over again I am sure once would have been enough. What is really worrying is I am sure I don't sound like that really so how will Bubba now its Mummy when I roll up talking normally!!!

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend, I can't believe its monday again already! 4 more Mondays and then I am off work until Jan 2013 fingers crossed


----------



## libby29

AAA, we didnt do our either (naughty i know!). We did do the tomy book though and i feel the same about ours. I'm sure i sound completely different (well i hope so, lol). We just couldn't face the video after that so we've put it off till tom   . We actually have to do a complete tour of the house with activities thrown in for even more embarassment   , all at childs level. How we are going to tour the house on our hands and knees i do not know (oh god it sounds crazy saying, well writing it out loud   ).
We have a recordable story time book to record our voices to yet as well eeekkk! Good luck with yours xxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby OMG that sounds crazy I am not surprised you didn't do it! We only live in a small flat so prehaps that why they said we didn't have to. There is a pic of her bedroom in the tomy album and some of her toys as well. We are going to do ours on to a memory stick as FC uses an ipad to show it so hopefully SW won't have the technology to see it    Ours won't be done until next weekend now as hubby on late shift this week. Good Luck with it look forward to hearing how much of it is the 2 of you rolling around laughing cause I have a sneaking feeling it might be most of it


----------



## AoC

LOL!  I must confess, I'd already thought of going round the house on my hands and knees, but mostly to look for hazards and things little fingers shouldn't access...

But then, we have cats, so it's not unknown for us to get down to that level and play!  

Welcome AJ!  Good to see you.


----------



## Autumn Jade

Morning all! 

aaa- good old technology! I guess this is one area when it's good SW have such a tight non ipad allowing budget!! We are with an agency after being turned down by our LA as they don't assess in area families, by a neighbouring one as we were too far away for their SW to visit and a third one as we'd only waited 6 months after IVF and although that was their official criteria they said they actually wanted a year! We are very happy with our agency though & our SW is lovely 

Libby, that is hilarious!! What do they mean 'with activities thrown in'? You have to show yourself cooking in the kitchen? Doing laundry? Washing an imaginary baby in the bath??! Good luck!!

Are you all watching the news about adoption? I wonder if it'll actually make any difference to those going through the process? The thing that I'd say would help is the idea of agencies working alongside LA more - all the LAs we visited were so overstretched - one even said their average time was 2.5 years (they got around the 8 month rule by not letting you hand your form in until you'd done the prep course which they only ran once a year and had a waiting list for!) - this would mean our agency could  know about the children they are doing parallel planning for even while we are being assessed. Has anyone on here seen a difference between LA & VA?

OK, off to get ready for work now! Have a good day everyone


----------



## AoC

I've not been watching the news, AJ, but DH mentioned it this morning.  It worries me, because although things should in general be speeded up (but only if safe to do so) I am quite certain that more targets (and therefore more beaurocracy, reports, people to measure them, people to report on them, people to check up on them.....) are not the way to go.

I think it might be a mistake for josephine public to think of SWers in poorly performing LAs as "needing to work harder".  It suggest to me that they're already overworked.

But what do I know?  I'm new to this malarky!


----------



## Betty-Boo

Here's a link to the BBC news link:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-15492467

Whereas its so sad that these gorgeous children are not being place, I think they're quoting 60/2000 plus were placed. However, I'd rather that the SW's ensure that the children are placed in the right homes - than just placed in order to satisfy the Govt. More funding needed?

I'm just dipping my toe into the adoption side ... need to process my latest BFN first.

 Mini xxx


----------



## AnneS

Mornign all,

sorry I have been away since mid September. We sort of took a break after getting through our prep course. But suddenly it was all 'go' and we had our first HS meeting   .
So, now we sit here with tons of paper to fill in and I am slightly confused by the medical questionnaire.
What exactly are you supposed to put into the box where they asked about "mental illness, stress, emotional stress etc.? It is quite a lot to group these things together in the first place. Reading further into the form i see that the part for our GP asks about mental illness as well, but that is worded in a way that suggests long term illness and problems. The part we fill in sounds like you should or could mention the emotional turbulences we went through due to our late miscarriage. Should we?? It says "mention if you have seen a psychologist, therapist or other (something like that, have not got the form here!). So, how far do we go on the form? I have no intentions hiding that I went through a prolonged period of grief, but does that belong into this form? Am I overthinking this? Please, please comment freely. 

Thanks for reading!

Anne


----------



## AnneS

I shoudl maybe clarify that the late miscarriage was in summer 2009, our last treatment was in September 2010, so we feel we have moved on truely, but again, does this belong in our medical record? We had counselling in 2009. 

Anne


----------



## MrsYG

Good Morning Everyone,

Welcome Autumn Jade - We've been very fortunate that our LA has been great at getting us prep group quickly and allocated a fantastic SW.  They are supposed to have you approved within about 8 months I think, but we'll be at panel within 6 months of attending prep course.  Hope you are soon at Panel too   

AAA - Don't be putting on your 'posh' voice, LO won't recognise you     haha.  Exciting to think you've only got 3 more Monday mornings for a whole year!   

Hello Miniminx - Sorry to hear about your recent BFN... its just awful    I feel you pain.  However, if once you've had time to heal, you feel adoption may be for you....I can reasssure you that the process is nowhere near as bad as it seems, and with a much more positive outcome.   Thanks for the link, interesting stuff...I do think it can be improved in some areas, but I also feel that rushing the process could be detrimental to finding the best match.  However, from my experience, our SW's/LA work damn hard and only have the children's best interest at heart.

Anne - regarding your health form, I would only list any significant Depression/anxiety/stress.  Grief and loss is something completely different which can lead to depression, but bereavement is not an illness.  If you had prescription drugs for any period your GP will include this on the form.  If you felt down and sad, as most people struggling with infertility do, then I would leave it off the form.  They would expect this anyway after any loss especially m/c, and your SW will cover this during your assessment to ensure you have come to terms with your loss, and ask how you dealt with it and overcame it.  I don't mind telling you I was pretty significantly cheesed off for many years about our failure to conceive, but I never sought medical intervention to deal with the sadness, although I did have some counselling which they will see as a positive thing.  Hope this makes sense?  What I'm trying to say is that if your Medical records show a history of depression, time off work with stress etc.. then I would list it, because as you say, you don't want it to look like you are trying to hide anything.  Just be clear about how you dealt with it.   

AoC - I agree with you completely re SW's needing to work harder, I think ours is doing a fantastic job (so far     )  Lets see if I'm saying that in 6 months time! haha! 

x


----------



## AoC

Exactly, Mini - that's how I feel.  I mistrust these big "we're going to do something about this scandal" public campaigns - they seem to be more about sound bites than constructive action.  :-/  I'm very sorry about your latest BFN.  Many ((((((hugs)))))) for you.  Your sig is right - time to heal again.  And I'm with Mrs YG.    I'm enjoying the process so far!!!    

Hi Anne.  I haven't had to fill in the medical form yet, but, like you, I've had periods of grieving and not coping so well, and I've had counselling.  I will be including this information (I've already talked to our SWer about it, and they asked us to pause our application until I'd finished counselling, which we were happy to do) in any forms, because it was something I visited the GP about and asked for help with.  But I will stress the positive goals that were set in the counselling, and how I've achieved them.  You know what I mean?  I can see what Mrs YG is saying, too - it's a fine line between what is a 'health' issue and what is a 'happiness' issue.  Go with your gut - or ask your SW!  Good luck with it!  

Love to you all.  I had a wonderful moment this morning, driving to work, where it dawned on me in a really visceral way that, well, this is actually going to happen (at least, 90% certain it will!).  We're going to have a family.

Terrifying and awe-inspiring all in one.


----------



## libby29

We've done it! The dreaded video is complete (thank the lord for that!). Felt like a complete and utter wholly all the way through so did dh. We put his transition teddy in it and hid him in all the rooms and asked lo if he could see him, filmed me making lunch and daddy putting lo's bath toys into a bubble bath. Trying to video it all at child level was challenging and slighty ridiculous, i'm sure our sw will have a right laugh at our expense watching it    I hope littlie likes it, it really was a labour of love for him and really shows we will do ANYTHING   for him. Good luck with all yours xxxxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby yeah well done, sounds really lovely. We have a croc for Bubba and he is in all the photos in Tomy book and will be on the video when we get round to it next weekend! 

Mini   

Aoc I can remember the day it hit me that yes I was gonna be a mum and that was last Aug before we had started anything walking out of the dentist with a check up for this Aug I suddenly thought OMG I could be a mummy by then. I wasn't LOL but was a truely lovely feeling. 

AJ we have had a really well mainly positive experience with LA. The 2 major delays we have had were from March - June due to my hysterectomy and then July-Oct because sadly my FIL died. But we are there now and fingers crossed Bubba will be home in December x

Mrs YG LOL my nephew always thinks he is talking to my mum when I talk to him on the phone but he always knows its me if I call him from another room so I know I don't sound like me! Poor Bubba will be totally confused. Maybe I should get hubby to read the story and I will just pull silly faces hee hee 

Anne sorry can't really help, however we did have counselling after our last IVF and I did note this on the form and actually our SW was pleased that we had gone down that road because she said too many people don't and it rears its ugly head at a later date! If you are not sure just write something next to it to reinforce what actually happened.


----------



## skyblu

Annes, AJ and Mini Welcome to ff.

Anne re: medical forms, I haven't done mine yet, even though I have had 6 solo visits and we are going to panel in February!!!!!
From the begging I told the SW that I was under the mental health when I miscarried with my first IVF baby and I was under a psychologist for over a year. Instantly she realised that it was a long time and I told her while I was seeing the psychologist I underwent another 2 IVF attempts which failed and also my bulimia came up and so had counselling for loss and a eating disorder.
I am not ashamed to admit this to you or anyone else reading this as I want people to know that being under the mental health does not go against you and it shows that you noticed a problem and dealt with it. 
And also it is best to be honest from the begging as they do tend to find out things in the end.
If you are not sure what part to fill in, just explain that you are not sure on the question and if she can help you.
I am sure every thing will turn out well and we will soon be a mummy. 

Libby, congrats on doing your video, I bet you and dh had a blast doing it really 

Mini, thank you for the link,very intresting.

AoC, How are you doing hun, I know how you feel, it is so uplifting to get that feeling that you are nearly there and that you are going to be a mummy soon   

AAA, Not long now 

Mrs YG, How is the hs going?

AFM, Not much to report here, I have my last solo on Friday and then it is dh for 2 weeks.

Take care
Skyblu.xxx


----------



## AoC

We've gone quiet!    How's things with everyone?

We're waiting for a SW visit this eve - want to get a clear picture of where we are in the process, as I don't think we've even 'officially' applied yet...  LOL!  It's rather nice to have the house so sparkling .


----------



## AnneS

Evening all!


Feeling rather pleased as I have handed in our various forms today and felt I achieved something before Dh and I scadoodle off on holidays!
A special big THANK YOU to Mrs YG and AoC, aaa is a MUMMY and specially skyblue - very brave to share your story, but you are absolutely right, you shoudl be proud as you are dealing with your issues!! 
Wow, everyone has sent me an answer. Thank you all so much.
I had a think this morning over breakfast on how I would fill in the form and decided given the wording of the later questions (for the GP), I did not want to mix my grief issues and related emotional stress with clinical depression. So I crossed 'No' but when I handed the form in I checked with the SW and said to her I did not want to hide any issues and what did she think? She asked whether my GP had referred me into counseling, which she had not as we were handed from our clinic to the counselling via the hospital chaplain . She said it was alright to mark the 'no' answer in that case and that our social worker would go over our treatment history and our grief etc with us anyway so we coudl discuss it then. 
Hope that makes sense!
Anyway, will have SW visiting after our hols. I hope she won't think that we are always sun tanned, relaxed and hung over   !


Take care everyone.


Anne


----------



## KG81

Hello!
Had meeting with lo's SW today, and she's happy to proceed!!!
We are going to matching panel on the 15th as our SW has already got the paperwork ready!
Introduction are planned for beginning of December. 
We are both over the moon, can't believe it's happening. 
Haven't seen a picture of lo yet, hopefully soon.
Karen x x


----------



## minmouse

Wow kg81! What fab news  
Such brilliant, inspirational stories on this thread, it must feel amazing  
Panel will be here before you know it!
M
X


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone
Hope you are all doing well.  Good news for us that our approval was ratified today so I guess its official now! Hope we are not waiting too long for news about our children....

Great news kg81, how exciting for you, hope all goes to plan and you have your LO at home for Christmas.

Lots of love to everyone else, whatever stage they are at.  Hang in there ladies, it will be worth it all one day when we have our children home
xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

LIH yeah xx

KG fantastic and what a fab sw having all the paper work done and dusted xx

Anne really pleased you have them done and now go have a fab lovely holiday and come back ready to start x

Aoc hope it all went ok with SW

Well we had our pre placement meeting this week, so another thing ticked off the list! All paperwork for panel has to be done for Monday I am not holding my breath I just hope she manages it cause I don't want any delays, well the dreaded DVD filming is planned for this weekend again hee hee I know I am just gonna laugh and laugh and laugh and not be able to say anything   

Have a lovely weekend everyone xxx


----------



## AoC

Fantastic news, KG18!  Very exciting and positive.  Cool!

YAY Livein!  Lovely to see it all proceeding for you.  

Fingers crossed for the paperwork, aaa!

Yes, we had a good mtg with the SW.    We're still officially in the 'initial interviews' stage, and our formal application won't go in until after the Prep course, but.... *drumroll*  we're definitely on the list for the Feb prep course (which is the next one!).  Scared and excited in equal quantities!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

AOC fantastic will keep fingers crossed for you for Feb xx


----------



## MrsYG

Anne - Thats exactly what I did with the medical forms, and you will cover any grief/loss and bereavement during the HS    Hope you have a fab holiday, where are you going? 

KG - FABULOUS!!     How wonderful, you must be over the moon.  Having your LO home for Xmas. I hope you get to see a picture really soon.

LIH - Woohoo, great to be officially approved    Lets hope you're not waiting too long. 

AAA - Hope your SW is on the ball and doesn't delay anything, I will be thinking about you this weekend whilst you do your oscar winning perfromance for LO    

AoC - Great news about the Prep Group, Feb will soon be here.  I cannot believe how quickly it seems to have gone since we attended Prep.  I know we've been fortunate and it doesn't always run so smoothly, but hoping its plain sailing for you. 

x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hi to everyone, not got much time for personals, just wanted to say to AoC the we are at the Same stage, we've got Prep course in Feb too. We are application Buddies, haha xx


----------



## AoC

Thanks, aaa and Mrs YG.    I'm only disappointed that we won't have a SWer visit while our house is all decorated for Christmas....  I'll have to send her a picture, LOL!

Anne, I meant to say, yay on getting the forms done.    Sounds like you got it exactly right.  *high five*

  Anna


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps.

Sorry been away so long, life is an amazingly hectic at moment.

Always- (like the name change   ) Have tears in my eyes reading your profile, amazing hunny, so so pleased for you xx

Aoc- congrats on getting on febs prep course x

Liveinhope- congrats on be verified, hope your wait is a short one x

KG81- Huge congrats, what a whirlwind december you are going to have. Hope all goes well for you and enjoy xx

Skyblu- hiya hunny, hope all is going well for you xx

Libby- well done on the video, bet you had a laugh doing it. We thought about doing one but dh dont like his voice on them lol. 

Hi to all newbies and other peeps, hope your journeys are going well xxx 

Our oldest LO has been home nearly three months now. She has settled so well and i still look at her now and find it hard to believe i am her mummy.We are due to start intro's with her little sister two weeks today. Its not all going the way s/w's or f/c's are hoping but we are determined to make it work. Youngest LO is very shy and cries when on her own with us. We have a long road but, after everything you go through its just another hurdle to get over.

Will try and get on more     

Take care

sweets x x


----------



## AoC

Fantastic news, Sweets.  I know it'll be a tough journey, but yes, you will work it out!  Hugs and cheers to you!


----------



## Duckling

Hi all, lovely to see Friday!
Brilliant news Liveinhope!   
Well done Anne S - filling in the forms is a big step closer!
Panorama and Sweets so lovely to hear how it's going xx
KG81 such great news about panel and intros! You must be so excited!  
Libby and AAA no mention of a dvd for us to do yet. Really hope not as I hate having my photo taken even and had to have loads done before I looked remotely normal for our PAR. Even dh says I don't look like I do in photos in real life - thank goodness!  
Aoc glad meeting went well. Very exciting you and Forever going on Feb prep - we did Feb course this year and have matching panel for our little boy in December! Excited and scared was exactly how I felt - but I felt so much better meeting others in the same position.
Our little one's bedroom is finished and I keep going in and sitting in there - can't believe we're nearly there! I've started buying clothes but am trying to hold back until we meet fc in few weeks to see what size he takes. Pushchair is the next thing to get and we're humming and hawing over choices. Lovely position to be finally in   .
Hi to everyone else. Hope you have a lovely weekend.
Duckling x


----------



## libby29

Just popping on to say hi while our din dins cooks.
Matching panel monday morning eeeekkkk! gonna be a LONG weekend me thinks!  
Goodluck with the video aaa (big cringe!) You'll be fine, its actually a really lovely memory to keep if you think about it. You can tell lo all about how many takes the sceens took lol  
Sweets goodluck with bringing lo home and hope she settles as well as are very clever big sis. 
Hello to everyone else, loving this board at the mo


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aoc they will see you house next Christmas and with any luck there will be a lo running/crawling around as well xx

Sweets often think about you really pleased its all going well really hope LO breaks the shyness barrier soon and you are all home together xx

Libby hee hee I am looking forward to doing it in an odd sort of way, I remember sitting at the prep course last year when they said about it and cringing but actually it means that we have achieved our goal because we are getting ready for our Bubba to come home now and if it helps her then bring it on!

Duckling OMG we are so alike LOL hubby is the same I think I had to take about 30 photos of him to get one that was half way decent! We have had to do A4 laminated photos, tomy photo album and the dvd just a bit worried Bubba won't realise it is us when she sees us in the flesh hee hee! Enjoy the wheels shopping we had a firm idea of what we wanted so it wasn't too hard but was really fab pushing it around the shop! Was also a bit naughty cause when we were looking at footmuffs the sales assistant said are you having a girl then? We both answered yes, then when we were looking at car seats we were looking at 9mth plus and she got very confused hee hee! She said have you already got children then? No we answer so a very confused face looks back at us and she says so you will need a baby car seat? No again we say and the look was great hee hee we did then share our news and she was so funny! Might also have explained a lot when I burst into tears at the checkout dah

Mrs YG not sure its gonna be oscar winning but should be close! I just want to get it done cause then we are ready for matching panel and heaven help our SW if she doesn't come up with the goods! 

Hope everyone has a lovely lovely weekend xx


----------



## AnneS

Ahhhh!


Just got a minute on the laptop and now Dh is trying to kick me off. 
So apologies for no personals - just this : High five to AoC   
Nice to read that so many of you have good news and are making such progress. we have our meeting with Sw fixed for after holidays and I am pleased it will be before Christmas as I was worried there might not be enough time. We only come back 3 weeks before crimbo!!
We are nearly off, mad packing going on.
Will miss you guys. Take care.


Anne


----------



## libby29

Well here we go....matching panel tomorrow morning! Can't believe its finally come round and have been so calm about it till now. I'm an absolute nervous wreck like i was before approval. God, what they put us through ay?! 
Wish me luck folks        xxxxxx


----------



## minmouse

Best of luck for tomorrow Libby   
M
X


----------



## Anjelissa

Lots of luck for tomorrow Libby   

We found matching panel to be a far more positive experience than approval panel, far more relaxed and less like an interrogation!
We were in some ways more nervous though, as at that point you are talking about a real little person that you have already started to love, so I know how you're feeling   .
You'll be fine, and this time tomorrow you'll be celebrating    

Luv Anj x


----------



## Duckling

Loads of luck for tomorrow Libby!   xx


----------



## KG81

Good luck for tomorrow Libby


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck tomorrow Libby


----------



## sweets x

Libby- best of luck for tomorrow hunny. Matching panel was much more relaxed than approval for us. Sure all will go wonderfully well xx

Hope everyone is ok.

We have 3yr olds three month review tomorrow, followed by little ones planning meeting for full intros. 
Hoping all goes ok

Sweets xx


----------



## panorama

Libby - good luck tomorrow! Sure you will be ace    


Sweets - hope it all goes well, not long before you are a mummy of 2!! 


Love to all,


panorama xx


----------



## skyblu

Best of luck tomorrow Libby 

Skyblu.x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Libby - best of luck for tommorrow, I'm sure ull not need it thou

AFM- I've been away over the weekend with friends for a 30th birthday, officially told them all about the adoption application. Most knew about the FT and knew we were considering, but they now know we r Deff doing it. I've had a fab response and couldn't of asked for more positive and supportive comments. I'm so pleased. Most of my friends have LO's of their own so wasn't too sure how some would respond, but all were very happy for us. Been in the Disney shop today and just loved seeing how excited all the LO's were in their, I'm just feeling very at peace and can't wait to be preparing and shopping for our own LO. What an amazing feeling that will be. I love reading the posts from you guys who have been recently matched, what a wonderful time for you all xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby go girl Good Luck I can't wait to hear all about it! 

FH I went all goose bumpy when I read your post, I remember that moment and here we are just over 2 weeks from Matching panel. It will be your turn very soon hun xx

Hope everyone has had a lovely weekend, another meeting this afternoon and then that is it (fingers crossed) until MP yeah


----------



## AoC

Good luck, Libby!    Come and tell us all about it?

Sweets, that all sounds so positive.  

Forever, I'm glad you had such a good response.  Lovely.


----------



## MrsYG

Good Luck Libby!!!


----------



## libby29

We got at "YES" at mp this morning!
Was so nervous but they were all lovely again. Did have a few more questions than we were preparing for but its done now. I think i worked myself up and thought it would be far worse than it was. We did have 19 members in there though so that was a little   . We took our tommy book in and they all had a big laugh at how embarrassed we were with them looking through it and having our booming voices bouncing of the walls (cringe!).
We have to wait for the dm to stamp it but i'm not letting that put a dampner on it....we have a son!   
We meet our little boy in a week and can not wait, we are totally over the moon.
Thankyou all for your kind messages, love you all xxxxx


----------



## KG81

Congratulations!!!!   
  
Fantastic news


----------



## AoC

Woo Hooo, Libby!  Congratulations!  And all your hard work has paid off, you've done great!


----------



## panorama

Libby - so excited for you! I remember it all well!  Meeting your son will be magical... still brings me tears!    Enjoy all the shopping! How old is your little boy? And not long for xmas!!   


FH - it will all become real soon for you, glad your friends are excited too, I have found everyone to be nothing but supportive, and they all love our LO to bits 


panorama xx


----------



## Duckling

*CONGRATULATIONS LIBBY!!!* Fantastic news! x
You must be so excited. 

Forever - so lovely to hear you're feeling like that xx


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations Libby


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Just a quickie to say thanks to AAA, AoC, Duckling and Panorama. Thanks for the feedback  

Congratulations to Libby, how wonderful, enjoy cloud 9 xx

Hello to everyone I've not mentioned.

Quick question, does anyone know of anyone who has actually used 'be my parent' to find a match, do social workers use it, do they respect interest in a LO formed on a profile from that website?

Xx


----------



## skyblu

CONGRATULATIONS LIBBY   

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## minmouse

Hi all,

Libby, I popped on just to check the mp news, congratulations! Won't be long now till your son iis home for good  
Sweets, hope today went well, what a busy few months!!

Heres to more fab news on this thread, makes me SO smiley reading all your news  
M
X


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby I am so happy for you roll on next week YEAH you are a Mummy enjoy hun xx            

FH sorry can't answer you regarding me my parent. I think if you are using LA they probably won't use it but possibly with a VA but I am probably totally wrong LOL xx


Girls can I have some reassurance please. Our SW is being really negative with us about matching panel! We had a meeting with medical adviser yesterday and afterwards our SW sat us down and basically gave us a real drilling on what we should be saying at panel and that we need to really think of our answers before we answer and need to be very vocal and not just yeah we understand! She wasn't like this at approval panel and we got a yes in the quickest time ever witnessed by the panel manager so surely if we can do it then why wouldn't we now. Is this normal? I am starting to feel sick about it already and we still have 2 weeks to go!


----------



## Belliboo

I know I haven't posted for ages but  wanted to let everyone who's still waiting know to hang in there the wait is hard but when it's happens it happens so quickly, we were offically matched yesterday with a little 16th month old boy, decision maker to sign it off hopefully on Monday then introductions start tuesday15th we have a moving in date of 24th nov so a fabulous early Christmas present too

Congratulations also to everyone else with recent matches looks like next few week are going to be busy for a few of us , Libby, sweets, duckling  x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Libby, congrats to you and dh           Bet you are so so excited xxx
Belliboo, congrats to you and dp            enjoy the next few weeks xxx

Will never forget the first time we met our girls, best moment of my life so far. 

AAA- try not to worry hun. Our s/w did simular with us. Said to be vocal and open. We actually had the questions they were going to ask beforehand. We were asked simular things to approval panel. You will be fine hunny xxx

Minimouse, hiya, hope your ok x

FH- our lo's were from be my parent. Our s/w used it, we are also with a LA. My friends also saw a littlie in there and told there s/w. Even though they didnt adopt that little one they still mentioned it to their s/w.
Only thing i will say about it, they all distributed all over obviously would have alot of interest. From my experience with our girls, there were quite a few involved to adopt them, luckily we were top of the list xx

Hope everyone else is doing ok. 

Well, yesterday went amazingly well.
Big LO review was so straight forward. Its almost like we trained her lol cause she ate her lunch in front of peeps, played and came to me and daddy for hugs and kisses. She loved everyone (were 6 peeps) watching her and talking to her. 

Then little LO's planning meeting went well too. We tweaked and changed alot of it, well, most. F/c cried a little, they are very very attached to her. I felt for her, but, at same time was glad the other s/w could see what we felt we were up against. They love her to bits but we are are family now. (hope that doesnt sound heartless cause not meant to)

We are having intros over the weekend cause she comes to our house at moment too. Having bathtime at ours on thursday and can't wait lol.
We bring her home forever on the 21st nov.     

A very giddy and trying not to shop sweets x x x


----------



## MrsYG

AAA -I'm sure your SW is just preparing you for the worst, she must be as keen to get a big YES as you are.  I'm sure you'll be fine and you'll win them over no problem    

Belliboo - WOW... fabulous news, things are moving so fast for you.  What a wonderful early Xmas present for you.  I cannot imagine having to start shopping for everything we'll need in such a short space of time, how exciting.   

Sweets - So glad the review went well and your LO behaved impeccably    and your planning meeting for wee one went well too, I do feel for the FC's but they have to realise that its their job to prepare for their forever home, and that is with you, so don't beat youeself up about it.  It just shows what a darling the LO is and yes they will miss her, but no doubt have another wee one with them very soon. 

AFM - SW wants to come out next Monday as she has some gaps in the report which she wants to discuss, nothing to worry about apparently    of course, the fact she said not to worry means I am absolutely worried to death!  Just when you think you're all set for Panel...  

xx


----------



## sweets x

Mrs YG- bless ya, sure it is nothing to worry about, they just have to dot all the i's and cross the t's. Good she has spooted bits now than being at panel, think about it that way. xx


----------



## libby29

Belliboo...snap, our dates are identical from march, planning meeting, intos and moving date. Amazing!   
Panama...our lo is a 16month old little boy, gorgeous!   
Sweets...brilliant that the meeting went well and sounds like you have a very clever girl, bless!  
aaa...you will do just great, have faith. They need you as adopters just as much as you need them to approve you.   
minmouse...thankyou. we're hoping these next few days will fly buy.  
Thanks to skyble, FH, livinginhope and everyone else for their congrats means alot.  

Well we're off shopping tom to buy the last few things for "our son" (whoop), can not wait. I'm so excited to actually go into mothercare and not feel like a fake. God dh's gonna have to hold the credit cards tom or i'll buy the shop.


----------



## libby29

belliboo...i also forgot to mention our lo is also a 16month old boy, crazy! xx


----------



## KG81

Our little boy is 16 month old too


----------



## panorama

Libby - have fun!  16 months old will be lots of fun, our LO is now nearly 15 months and it's amazing how much they understand already, but still a bit of a baby too    If you need any advice as to what to get fire away! 


Sweets  -so glad it went well, man your FC's sound like they are totally attached, should not be like that really, so hard on you and LO's   


Mrs YG - sure she just wants to prepare you, don't worry too much   


Beliboo  - congrats!! How lovely and just in time for Xmas! 


AAA - wouldn't worry too much, if they did not think you were ready then they wouldn't go ahead, hope it comes round soon so you can really focus on LO coming home!   


Hello to everyone else, hope you are all doing well! LO getting very assertive and likes to walk all the time, was amazing seeing his little face when he saw the xmas decorations and display in a garden centre on sunday, can't wait for xmas this year! For the last 6 have dreaded it!!   


panorama xx


----------



## sweets x

Libby- enjoy mothercare hunny. I can remember when they offered us a catalogue  after we were matched and I took it and was beaming all way round the shop     Dh thought i had lost the plot lol xx

Panorama- They are very very attached. I am glad in a way as means she is totally loved, but, now she will be the one to suffer for it. Is amazing when they see the decorations isnt it. We also, although we know were gonna have to be careful with littlie LO are so so looking forward to xmas. Tears of happiness instead of sadness this year me thinks xx

Sweets x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

What fab reading this morning

belliboo Congratulations hun that has happened so quickly xx

Sweets our FC is very much in love with our LO as well but he also said he is just doing a job and the big advantage of that job is knowing that the lo's he has cared for are going to a loving supportive couple who have nearly always had a rough journey to parent hood. He was amazing and so is his wife, ours will be no 12 that they have moved onto adoption in 5 years and will also be the last for awhile. I really hope it continues to all go well for you and what a little star big LO is I am sure her sis will follow once she is home and settled xx

Libby enjoy the shopping hun it is amazing going into those shops and not feeling like you have a neon sign above your head saying "imposter"  we are still just going in for a look LOL just cause it feels so good, I go into Boots every lunch time and just walk round the baby section smiling! 

Thanks for the words of wisdom, just want to get past the 23rd even hubby is concerned which is never good because he never worries about anything!


----------



## Belliboo

Libby that is very strange us both having such similar dates!!! Hope you had a good shopping spree today, we've got most of ours just waiting to see him next week to see what else we need to buy & see what he ll will be bringing with him,

Panorama any tips would be greatly appreciated, at what point did you introduce your family ours are all desperate to meet him too, but i know they can't come to ours for few weeks just wondered if you bumped into them anywhere so they could have a peep at him, 

Sweets your shopping trip sounds lovely bet you can't wait for her sister to be home, our FC are very attached to to our little boy just wondered how you find the introductions sadly this is the first child they have moved on so think it will be quite hard for everyone,

Is anyone buying a present for the FC 

Aaa is a mummy good luck for 23 nov will be here before you know it can't believe how fast time is going

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## Duckling

*Congratulations Beliboo!* - wonderful news!

AAA don't worry  (easy to say!), our sw was really hyper before our approval panel, telling us about questions they were likely to ask - they were really lovely and didn't ask any of them! You know they loved you at approval, interesting what you and Sweets said about being vocal - I had trouble getting anything out as I was so nervous, so maybe I need to think about that before ours.

Mrs YG - our sw told us that our last visit was to fill in any gaps so think it's quite normal. 

Sweets so glad that the review and panel meeting went well. x

Libby sounds like you're enjoying the shopping!  Think we deserve it!

Hi to everyone else.

Meeting fc next Wed, hope we get on well as know it'll make life a lot easier. Keep looking at lo's photos and talking about what we need to buy, but still seems like a dream and still hard to think he's actually going to be OURS. Dying to tell everyone, but waiting until panel - another 3 weeks, 4 days to go.

Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling OMG how have you not managed to tell people! Hasn't the    on your face given you away yet?!?!?  

Belliboo we will probably get FC something but I have no idea what. I did think we might send some flowers after we have got her home, but they are going away for Christmas so won't be there dah any ideas would be good if anyone can help!

Well no more news so fingers crossed all the paper work is in on time! 

Almost the weekend yeah


----------



## panorama

Morning!


AAA - We got our FC's a framed photo of our LO which they loved, I took the photo at their home so thought it would be nice for them. Plus we also got a little gift for the other foster kids they had from our LO for helping to look after him and playing with him   


Duckling - well done for keeping   !


Beliboo - we did not introduce him to family until about 2 weeks after, all our family live a way away so no problem in bumping into them! Started with my MIL and then everyone else bit by bit, but lots of family and friends came to his b'day party about 6 weeks after and he was fine. He did burst into tears with one of my neighbours but I think that was cos she was quite loud!  I think you have to play it by ear and not do too much at one time to begin with, but I think it totally depends on the child too and what they have been used to. Ours came from a very busy foster home so he was quite used to lots of people!


Sweets - definite tears of happiness this year, well up every time I think of it!  


Right should do some work!!


panorama xx


----------



## Annawb37

Hi all, I wonder if I can ask you a few questions. My DH and I have tried to conceive for 5 years. I am just waiting to have my second failed ivf cycle confirmed tomorrow. It's been really tough getting to here and I'm not sure if we can go through the ivf rollercoaster again, plus there is the financial implications. We have thought about adoption for a number of years, seriously for most of this year and were feeling that we're ready to move in that direction. 

How long did it take you ladies from adoption application to approval?
We're not particular well off and I'm not without debts such as credit card/loan, will these work against us?
After approval how long did you wait to be matched?
Not being able to have my own, I would really like to adopt a young infant but I know this might be unlikely, have any of you adopted babies?

I hope you don't mind me asking you all these questions, I don't know where to go for these answers yet and am hoping you can help me xxxx


----------



## libby29

Anna...welcome!
You'll find that everyones journeys can vary in adoption. Ill fill you in on ours.

We had our 1st initial meeting in june last yr. We then had to wait for the next preparation course a we had just missed the previous one by days, next one was november. You may be asked to wait for a while after your ft but all agencies/la are different. Ours said our wait for next prep would be counted as our wait time.

So prep was november 2010, we finished home study in march and were approved in may.

We were approached about a lo in july but wasn't right for us.

Approached about our son in october, offically matched monday just gone and we meet him 14th nov and start intros 15th with a view to bringing him home the following week.

Its a slow process and drives you nutty sometimes but once you get that match it goes very quickly. Everyones experience is different though. I'm sure the other ladies will be along to share their journeys with you soon.xxxxx


----------



## Duckling

Err must confess when I say I haven't told people, well we've told our families, I've had to tell the 2 people I work closest with (as I've been completely loopy since we got the first phone call about our lo) and we've both told our bosses... So haven't managed to completely keep it all in! Work people must think something's up though because I'm so happy! Not normal!  

Welcome Annawb. Sent our application in Sep last year, prep course Jan and Feb this year, Home Study started March, approved in October, linked a week later - a little boy 11 months old   , have matching panel December and will be meeting him in January. So just over a year from application to approval. Don't think minor debts bother them at all as long as you can show how you will manage. I think my biggest tip would be to be honest and open all the way through. Hope this helps a bit. Know more of the girls will give more info. I've found this site such a fantastic help.

Friday tomorrow! Duckling xx


----------



## elmoeleven

hi all,

sorry i haven't posted, but i read every day (sometimes twice!) and am so excited about all the fab news, i love the thought of the shopping trips! 

We are officially on the prep course for feb. We had a child protection lecture at uni the other week and they put this video on, a lot like what i expect to see on prep course and i just sat there in floods of tears, looks like i will be taking tissues with me.

elmo
xx


----------



## oliver222

Hi
I have been reading for last few months and wanted to introduce myself as I have decided that adoption is definatly for me. TTC long time fell pregnant last July and lost baby at 6 weeks. Fell pregnant again to my surprise few months later with twins. Lost 1st at 9 weeks and then lost my son at 16 weeks due to him having Downs. 
At this point felt that maybe adoption was way forward as I am 39. Was at point of making contact when letter dropped through door stating that had reached top of NHS list for ivf. Called and spoke to la and discussed options etc. We decided to have one try of ivf and if no success to decline or other try and move to adoption. Fast forward to now had bloods last week and although postive (hcg only 24) was obviously never a viable pregnancy. 
Contacted la again yesterday and spoke to same social worker and she has spoken to her boss about me (normally a 6 month wait but she feels that I am ready and I am choosing adoption and stopping treatment myself). Manager had said to call in Jan to give myself a few months but after a bit of a chat lovely social worker that I spoke to has said that she will speak to her again and see if she would be happy for me to go to info evening this year. 
Going to call me back next week so fingers crossed.
In meantime 5 books have arrived today from Amazon to get me started on my reading and have some applications to fill in with regards to trying to get some voluntary work in childcare. I know someone who owns a nursery who I am sure would allow me to assist there but I am trying other options first for charities / nurserys working with more vunerable children as feel this would be more beneficial.


----------



## panorama

Oliver22 - so sorry to hear about your losses    Very similar to me, lost twins too, one at 9 weeks and then my son late in pregnancy, plus a few other m/c's. It's so hard deciding enough is enough but I was very glad I made the decision to stop IVF and move on to adoption. We adopted our son in July and IVF seems like a distant dream now thankfully and even though I think you never forget your losses, you learn to live with them and somehow move on   Saying that I had a gap of 2 years between last mc and adopting our son which I am glad I had so just make sure you give yourself enough time to be able to grieve   Fingers crossed you can start    


Elmo - yes it can be hard but just think of the future you can give those kids   


Duckling - you should be very happy, great feeling!   


Anna - welcome! We had initial visit Sept 09 but had to wait till July 10 to start due to LA waiting list. Had prep and hs concurrently from Sept to Jan 11, approved Feb 11, matched April 11 and met LO July 11 cos of short wait due to court stuff. LO was 10 1/2 months when we met him   


Right off to bed now! xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling still think you have done well not to shout it from the roof tops! I am still walking on a cloud somewhere up there, its a very nervous cloud at the moment and think it is going to be until we get panel out of the way. Have a lovely weekend xx

Panorama Thanks hun, hadn't thought about the other children, to be honest haven't actually thought about it at LOL think it will be something we have a think about after panel and before meeting Bubba. xx

Anna if all had gone to plan we would have had our little girl in Aug/Sept and she would have been 9/10 months but sadly my FIL died and we had to have a 3 month break, so she will be just over a year when she comes home. My signature shows our journey, every single person is different!

Oliver welcome to the thread sorry to hear about the rough journey you have had so far. I personally feel this is a better much more positive experience saying that we have had some very frustrating periods along the way but the end is now in sight and it is awesome.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Oliver- Sorry to read of your losses, must be so so hard for you. I will say adoption is the best thing we have ever done. If someone offered me to do another cycle of ivf for free i wouldn't do it, although we still grieve our loss I personally wish we had just done adoption to start with, but our heartache journey brought us to our girls    Good luck xx

Anna- welcome hunny. We had initial phone call Dec 09, had to wait 6months cause of m/c, rang again in Apr 10 and got on info evening in May, prep aug/sept 10, Appoval panel Feb 11, matched April then first LO moved in Aug and her sis moves in in 10 sleeps     Ours was an extraordinary case with the girls coming seperately we are told. Good luck x x

AAA- Wont be long now, enjoy being in the clouds xx

Panorama- hope your ok

Elmo- good luck for prep

Libby- not long now, can you sit still lol xx

Belliboo- Our intros have been happening for three months now. Very long story but basically, our eldest lol is home and we see her sister every week. Now, we start full intros in a week and they are just three days as little LO has been to our house, out with us and us to f/c. Our first intros were amazing and we were almost like family by the time we brought our eldest home. 

Hope everyone else is ok and looking forward to weekend.

Had fab comtact yesterday. Both girls had a bath at our house, for the first time ever together. They practically ran upstairs to get in it. Also, had tea together and little LO ate potato, small victory for mummy lol. 
Next contact is monday so if weekend goes fast blame me as wishing it away

Take care 

sweets x x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi ladies,

After lurking since our final IVF cycle we have now made contact with our LA and we are booked onto their information meeting dec 16th. I have told my head teacher as need afternoon off and she disclosed that she adopted her daughter and was lovely, said could talk to her any time about the process so all in all over Moyer with the response. I can't believe how since deciding to stop IVF and pursue adoption it feels like a weight has been lifted. Am very aware of the hurdles ahead -LA info certainly liked to state that!!! Why oh why do they even make the info they send you so negative. I know they have to prepare people but in our area there are less and less potential adopters coming forward! They have said that they will only consider applications for those looking for children over 5 or sibling groups which is I think what we are hoping for.

I wanted to ask if we are able to also g to an info meeting for a VA as there is one locally that week. Do any of yo have any thoughts on LA vs VA? We are in North Devon s options do seem very limited. My DH was realk down in the dumps after reading the info as it says if yo are 40 or over (him in June) there is a small chance of you getting a very young child. So much info t take in but am feeling really optimistic aout the future and hope that this is the pathway for us.

It's been so lovely to share in some of your journeys and see the joy in getting your happy ending, dreams really do come true sometimes, we just have to deviate from one route to another sometimes.

Have a great weekend ladies.

Green xxx


----------



## Poochie1111

Oliver - welcome.  So sorry to hear of your loses.  It's such a lot to go through.     You'll see from my signature that my journey has been very similar to yours as well with a couple of M/Cs and loosing twins.  It took me a long while to finally close the door on tx but I'm now in a much better place and feeling positive that we are now adopting. I WILL be a mum one day!!!


Anna - welcome too! The length of process really varies.  Ours has been slow to get going - it's 1 year since we applied and we're only in the middle of our HS.  Others on here have had much quicker experiences.


Libby - lots of luck for the intros next week


Duckling - good luck for next week too.


Sweets - lovely to see you again   


Hi Green!!  Just seen your post as I was about to press 'post' myself.  Go to as many info evenings you need to - it's good to compare.  All the lades on here are going through a mix of LA and VA.  I guess they all vary by region and you've just got to choose which one feels right for you. There's been good experiences of both on this thread.


----------



## libby29

Hi ladies, sorry no time to say much as want to watch x factor   
Just popped on to say 2 sleeps till we meet our son and sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited spin   . Our sw rang to say he absolutely loves our photo book and kept stroking my facing and pressing the button to hear our voices. She said he even had a little paddy (monkey) when fc put the book on the side as he wanted to carry it around with him. God i just can not wait to meet him.    
Dreams really do come true


----------



## julesF

Hi Anna


we began our journey in apr 10 prep course july 10 HS august-oct 10 and approved Feb 11
MP june 11 and LOs have been home a while now


all in all from info evening to placement 16mnths
we went with a VA and have a great SW
best of luck


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## minmouse

Evening all,

Quick post in the x factor ad break  

Libby - your post just made me smile so much!  How gorgeous is that? Bet you are wishing the days away.  Can't wait to hear the news after you meet your little son.
M
X


----------



## Donkey

Hello

I just wanted to say hello, I have been lurking for a while but for the first time in the adoption process I'm starting to feel nervous and would appreciate some advice.  Youcan see from my ticker I have had huge medical issues with 5 very difficult cyles of IVF.  We had to stop the adoption process for nearly 10 months last year because of my health but we are back on track now.

We have just been approved for adoption... 1 or 2 children, depending on their needs, aged 0-4.  On Thursday my SW phoned and said that they had a little boy who is 1 in December that they thought would be suitable for us. So our information is being given to his SW and we will see what happens.  I am trying not to get excited but that's hard.  His brother is due to be born next week and will go straight into care and potentially we could adopt him too.  This is all ifs and buts at the moment but seeing as they approached us, I am hopeful.  Do you think I should be hopeful or cautious?

It's good to see so many happy endings on here.
Lots of love 
Donkey xxx


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## Annawb37

Donkey, thats sounds so exiting.  

We are having our third and final IVF in the new year then we will call that the end of our journey.  I think adoption is the way forward for us.  Had a lovely chat with the adoption lady from the LA on Friday, she was very positive.  We have to leave it at least 6 months after the last IVF but then she says they are working to get potential adoptees approved within 6 months and then macthing would be relatively quick as they are really needing more adopters coming forward where we are.  She saw no issue with us getting a 0-3 infant and said even last week two babies were given up for adoption.  Its a long way off for us still but i think quite positive that we will get our family xxxxxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

donkey Hi welcome back so sorry to hear you have been so poorly but pleased you are ready and fighting fit again. I would say it sounds positive to me so will be keeping fingers crossed for you xx

Libby oh wow you must be beside yourselves with excitement somehow have a feeling you won't be getting much sleep. I can't wait to hear more xx


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## Poppets Mammy

Hello Ladies

1stly Hello and welcome to all the newbies, there's a few of you and ill try and answer your questions but I may get mixed up with who asked what so excuse the lack personals.

In regards to LA/VA I agree, speak to as many as you need to and go to as many info evening as you want, it wont be seen as a bad thing. You have to choose which agency is right for you, its not an easy decision. We spoke with loads and then eventually chose a VA that suited us and made a good impression.

For info on adoption process etc visit the BAAF website, theres loads of info and useful links. The banardos website is also useful, and of course this one is an excellent source of real life situations/expereinces and support.

Everybody on here has had a variety of heartbreak and experienced loss in a number of ways. We have all had a difficult road in our search for a family and theres a lot of support and empathy available on here. When its time to move on from fertility treatment, what ever that may mean for you, I think you know when that time comes. Actually making the decision to stop treatment and move onto adoption is one of the biggest and hardest decisions you will ever make, but it is also one of the best, exciting and empowering one you will ever make. We have all experienced the weight that is lifted when you face facts and stop treatment, its a lovely feeling. We are the happiest we have been for years as the future is positive and exciting. How rewarding to give a home to a child in need of one and to actually fulfill your own dream of a family at the same time. (Sorry I ranted on a bit there!)

In regards to loans/debt - who hasn't got them?!? As long as you can satisfy the social worker that you are finacially stable and can provide a secure home for a LO and meet all their needs then there will be no issue.

Our story in a nutshell, went to info evening in DEC 2010, gathered info and contact details of LA/VA. Continued treatment all the while thinking about adoption, we needed to do a little more TX before stopping just to put a 'full stop' on it all. First initial home visit Sept 2011, Starting prep course Feb 2012, homestudy will start March 2012 - then who knows! Hopefully approval panel Aug 2012 and  for a match soon after.

*Sweets* - How lovely  Your Lo's sound very cute, how old are they? Are they close to each other? x

*Libby* - Good luck for tommorrow and enjoy every min of meeting you LO. How nice to hear how he has bonded with the photos/book of you and DH. What a little monkey having a tantrum  x

*Donkey* - Sounds like a positive match. Can understand your hesitant feelings, its hard to imagine the happy ending actually happening after waiting for so long. Have you had much info on LO and mothers history. Does it feel right for you? Try and look at the situation without considering the possibility of unborn LO. It has to feel right for you and DH in regards to the LO, and if his little brother becomes a possibility then thats just a bonus. Focus on the toddler 1st though.

*Elmoeleven* - What are you studying at uni? I attend a lot of child protection days/talks/training etc as part of my line of work as well.

Hello to everyone else 
xx


----------



## Duckling

Donkey I'd say try and stay cautious but... it sounds VERY exciting!! Really hope this is it for you. Do you know if lo's sw is looking at anyone else? If it's just you I'd say it's looking great. x
Libby oh my! I absolutely loved the Tommy Book story. Can't wait to hear how it goes! x
Annawb your phone call sounds like it went really well - great news.
Hi Minmouse, Jules, Poochie, Sweets, Panorama, AAA, Forever and everyone else.
Greeniebop glad things are looking positive. I'm 41 and dh 40, we went with a la and our age was never an issue when considering matching. 
Hi Oliver, so sorry to hear your story. This thread is great, really hope it helps you too. 
Elmoeleven great news Feb prep official.

Duckling x


----------



## Donkey

Thank you ladies for your lovely words of support. 

I have to agree with Forever...making the decision to stop tx releases sooooo much stress and lifts an enormous weight off your shoulders.  You know the time is right.  Of course I would still love to have had my own birth child but I couldn't face another round of IVF...ever.

Duckling - I don't know if they are looking at anyone else.  It was a bit of a hurried conversation at the end of Thursday whilst I was still at school and my SW was finishing work until Tuesday.  She wanted to speak to me to send our PAR to the LO's SW.

AAA, thanks for the welcome back.

Anna, lets hope the SW is correct and the time frames are that quick!

Take care
Donkey xx


----------



## elmoeleven

hi all,

FH i am a student nurse.

libby - hope you have a lovely day meeting LO

i went to a show on saturday and am still so tired i can barely keep my eyes open!!

elmo


----------



## oliver222

Thank you all for your kind words. I feel so much more positive since decided to stop ttc. Am going to get some work done in house and book a holiday. All things I was putting off just in case I got pregnant or we decided to do private ivf etc. Also for 1st time me and dh are thinking about future in positive way. Was going to get new laminate in spare room and dh said no better with carpet will be warmer for child. We can see a family in our future which is lovely.


----------



## KG81

We met with the medical advisor today, and our SW took our Tommy book to give to the foster carer next week.
We have the matching panel first thing tomorrow morning, can't wait to get over it...
Just want to have our boy home now


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby how did it go??

KG81 Good Luck hun xx

Hope everyone is ok


----------



## libby29

OMG! We met our son and he is truly amazin. When they opened the door to us he came toddling up to me then put his little arms up for me to pick him up and gave me the biggest smile. We heard him crying when we left which pulled at our heart strings a little and made me want to cry. We're totally in love and words can't discribe how happy we are. We see him again in the morning and can't wait as we are missing him soooooooo much already!
Goodluck tom kg81....you'll do just great xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

AW libby that is so lovely I am so happy for you, enjoy the rest of the introductions he will soon be home all snuggled up in his bed. Sweet dreams tonight hun xx          (we still have another 4 weeks   )


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## Poochie1111

That's lovely Libby. I'm so chuffed it went so well for you today    


Good luck tomorrow KGB!!!!


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## oliver222

Glad it went so well Libby.


----------



## Duckling

So pleased for you Libby - he sounds wonderful and you sound so happy.    Can't wait for Jan. x

Good Luck for tomorrow KG. x

Duckling x


----------



## skyblu

I am so pleased for you Libby, it must of been so amazing to finaly meet your little boy at last.
I hope time will soon go by so you can have your little boy at home 

Good luck tomorrow KG

Skyblu.xx


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## Belliboo

Kg good luck with matching panel today

Libby wow sounds like you had an amazing time meeting your little one, we meet our little boy today too feeling quite a mixture of emotions, & quite nervous too!!!! 

Donkey that's sounds positive hope everything goes well


Hi emloeleven hope you've recovered from your show

Hope everyone else is ok too xxx


Hi


----------



## liveinhope

Its all very exciting on here at the moment with all these introductions going on  

Our social worker is coming next week, first time since panel so hopefully there will be some news!!


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## KG81

Panel said 100% positive recommendation!!!!
Decision maker on Friday afternoon!
Meeting birth parents next week and foster carer following week, then our little boy!!!


----------



## Poochie1111

Yay KGB!!!!  Congratulations!!!  Dancing bananas for you!!!


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## Anjelissa

Hi all   

Sorry I've been awol for about a week, I've had a bit of a busy time with my 40th Birthday celebrations last week   , no major parties or anything, just a nice meal out with an old school friend & sis-in-law, and then a lovely lunch with my DH, plus 2nights/3days at Champneys (DH's pressie to me (pure bliss!).
I missed both Nemo and DH lots, but we spoke a lot on the phone and texts. It did me the world of good, the best pressie I could have had.  
Nemo had lots of fun with Daddy, although he asked for me a few times, which is natural and healthy and we feel shows his healthy attachment.
DH went camping for a weekend earlier in the year and Nemo was the same then, was totally ok, just asked for Daddy few times. 
All went totally back to normal with no problems when I got home.   
I was so excited to see them both and Nemo gave me a huge grin, kiss and hug   
I think a little break from each other now and then does everyone the world of good.

I notice there are loads of 'Congratulations' due all round this past week, so I'm going to do a big group one incase I miss anyone   

I'm having a small op' next week  (to correct a breathing problem in one side of my nose that I've had for ages) and wont be able to do much for a few weeks after that so I'm sure when I feel up to it after a few days I'll be a regular visitor on here from my bed and be able to catch up on everyones news   . 
DH will be off work for about 6 days to take care of Nemo and to allow me to keep my distance a bit incase he bashes my nose (or I get hit by a flying car/Bob The Builder/etc etc).       
Lots of luck to those with important dates coming up and some more congratulations to all those with wonderful news!  

Luv Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj    40th bit belated your few days away sounds like heaven. Hope the op goes well take care xx

KG Congratulations full steam ahead now xx

Libby hope day 2 was as wonderful another day done and nearer to coming home   

Belli hope it all went well today   

LIH fingers will be crossed for next week, what a lovely Christmas pressie knowing your LO is on the way really hope that is what is behind the visit.

It really is amazing on here at the moment and hope everyone that is new to this thread or lurking in the background takes strength because it really does happen. Although we aren't quite there yet I still have a stupid grin on my face most of the time. It is Bubba's 1st birthday on Friday and a friend brought a little pressie into work for her today I almost burst into happy tears there and then it really is amazing and words don't really come close to it! Stay strong


----------



## Duckling

That's a lovely post AAA xx
Belated *HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!* Anj. You do sound so happy. Take care for op. x
CONGRATULATIONS KG!!
Sounds good Liveinhope!  
Belliboo really hope it went well. x
Skyblu - hope you're ok. x
Hi everyone else.
Love from Duckling x


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## panorama

Anj - sounds wonderful, its my big 40 next year!  Hope op goes well   


AAA - happy b'day to your little girl  Not long!


KG81 - congrats!! What a great xmas you will have   


LIH -      


Libby - remember those days well, sounds lovely!!  Enjoy, not long before he comes home!  


Hi everyone else, lovely news on the board at the moment! We have our 2nd review tomorrow since LO came home tomorrow, and hopefully last one as the report for the court is now ready according to SW so hopefully we will get a court date soon!    He is so cute, has now got a few words, his have is 'Hiya' every time you haven't seen him for 10 seconds, so cute!  


Love to all,


panorama xx


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## skyblu

Congratulation KG You are going to have a fantastic christmas.

AAA- appy Birthday for your lo on Friday.

Anj - Happy belated Birthday.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Panorama aw thats so cute. Fingers crossed for a date soon xx

Thanks for the birthday wishes.


----------



## Irishlady

Sorry I have been so rubbish at posting   There is some really happy and positive news at the moment which is amazing. And just to add to that my dh and I were approved yesterday!! And our social worker said she may be round next week to talk about a child!! Could not sleep last night as my mind was racing!! V v early days so trying not to get ahead of ourselves but it is soooooo hard!!

Can't quite believe we are going to be a mummy and daddy!!

My parents are arriving soon and the house is a tip so need to get it sorted   

love irish xxx


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## KG81

Congratulations Irish!!! That's great news!!!
Next week will come fast, can't wait to know more!


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## Duckling

Irish Lady _*Congratulations!!!*_  Keeping my fingers crossed for you for next week. x


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## Poppets Mammy

Just a quick post to say Hello to everyone and   to Libby, KG, IrishLady and good luck  to livinhope. Hope all intros are going well, keep us informed
XxX


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Irish Lady Congratulations hun and how exciting hope next week comes round really quickly xx

Libby how is it going?

4 more days at work


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## minmouse

Evening all,

Sorry no time for personals, but what a fabulous thread at the mo; approvals, links, intros!! Beautiful   I don't post so often but I am lurking  ,  and catching  up with all your great news. Keep it coming!!


M
X


----------



## Duckling

Hi all,
Have come on for a bit of reassurance/advice. We've found out some disturbing info about lo's birth family. Am very disappointed and baffled why sw didn't tell us - I read it in paperwork we received today. Too late to ring her but don't really know what to say when I do. It doesn't affect lo now, but it will need explaining as he grows up. We are also near enough to their area to worry me. Can't imagine not going ahead now and lo perfect in every way, but not sure what to think or do.   Know that adoption is all about situations like this - that is why children are adopted, but have met fc, going ahead, so excited and then to read this... Maybe overreacting but can't really discuss details with anyone other than dh. Would really appreciate advice. Maybe I should post where post adoption girls can see.
Thanks, Duckling x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Duckling,

Sorry to hear about your recent news re/birth family   
It's difficult to offer advice as every situation is so very different, but at the same time all our adopted littlies will have various things in common. We will all have many questions to answer as they grow up, some of our lo's situations will obviously be harder to explain than others, but at some point we will all have the difficult task of explaining the stories of their beginnings and how and why they made their way to us.
There are many courses (possibly some run by your own LA) that discuss explaining the story of a child's adoption to the child and how best to go about it when the time comes. 
The fact that you live quite near to the birth family is a hard one and not knowing your situation or how it could cause you problems in the future it's hard to offer advice or reassurance on that one but I would definitely call your SW first thing on Monday to discuss everything with her and get her advice. Maybe call your lo's SW too to discuss the situation further if that would help.

If you want to pm me Duckling I'd be happy to offer any further help that I can, if only to be a 'sounding board' if that will help   
I know sometimes that only other parents who have adopted can understand the delicate and specific issues that we all face.   

Thinking of you and hope you get the answers and advice you need from your sw's.

Luv Anj x x


----------



## Duckling

Thanks Anj, especially for the offer to pm you. Was hoping you'd be around. xx 
Am feeling scared and upset but realise that every adoption comes with its own issue - just wish we'd been told about it earlier when I could have dealt with it with less emotion and a clearer head. Trying to calm down a bit now. Am really grateful for your reply.


----------



## libby29

Oh Duckling i feel really cross for you. They should have told you! These things shouldn't be coming up now its not fair on you or little one. Try and just focus on your lo to get you through.
I'm not going to right too much tonight as soooo exhausted. Half way through intros and it is knackering! Lo is adorable and is turning to us more and more now. We took him out on our own today which was amazing as we got to push him in his new pushchair ( a dream we've had for 5 yrs). He rocks our worlds! Got to say though i am finding the fact he's a daddies boy a little hard to swallow sometimes. The first few days it was all me, now he's seems to have changed his mind and its all daddy. Its really hard to take when i pick up a toy to interact with him and he comes toddling over and i think yay....only for him to take the toy off me and take it to daddy to play with him. He's even said dadda a few times but no mention of mummy   .
Dh said something lovely tonight though...."no one said it would be easy, but  it will be worth it". I know it will be fine as he still has a lovely time with me but my god he's a handful


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling I am so sorry hun, wish I could help in some way but i think the expert Anj has probably helped and is the best one to turn to. Why do these things always happen on a weekend when you can't get anyone to help    I really hope you get some answers soon. Re the closeness of the family don't forget your LO will have been with foster carers for awhile now and will look totally different to the baby birth parents know as long as the name isn't an odd one I am sure you would be fine, as our SW said to us you aren't likely to be in the same areas of the same town even if you were out for the day!

Libby lovely to hear its all going well. I am sure LO is just testing you our nephews do it all the time! One of the twins asked where uncle was the other night when I was at mum's when i said he was at work he looked at me pulled a real sulky face and said well you go back to work and he come to Granny house cause me not like you! Hard words to take but they are like it all the time with us and often find with him a bit of a chase and he is all over me and his older brother was the same and still is, he always goes straight to hubby for a kiss but he makes me work for it little monkeys.

Anj hope you are ok hun xx

Well looks like we are going to have a quiet weekend can't believe it!

Hope everyone is ok and has a lovely weekend sun is shining here hope it lasts all weekend


----------



## Duckling

Thanks Libby and AAA.     DH and I went to the beach today to try and get some perspective and met up with dh's parents. He told them some of the details. Not all. I keep getting really upset and wish I could see more clearly. I'm still baffled why we weren't given this info earlier and feel naive for not finding out. Did they keep it from us on purpose? 
I also wonder how much this background matters - he has been with fc from a very early age. Maybe it's because I've lived a relatively sheltered life. I wish I knew how common this sort of background is. In prep and home study we concentrated on the child and what we could cope with, not the background. Sorry for the long me post - I can't bear the thought that he may not be ours but I don't know if I'm strong enough to cope with his background.

Libby lovely to hear how it's going, especially the pushchair story. Sounds like he is testing you, I can imagine it's a bit ouch, but you're doing so well. x
AAA hope you're having a lovely peaceful weekend. x
Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling hun i wish I could help. It is so unfair and if they have kept it from you on purpose thats really out of order. Could you ask to speak to the medical adviser might be able to give you a better idea than your SW. I am guessing you are going to be on the phone first thing tomorrow. Massive


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Duckling - So sorry to hear that's happened to you. How awful! I hope you give them hell   on Monday as it is simply just not good enough to be having bomb shells dropped on you at this stage. You need all the facts, try not to panic, explain you have not known about the history until now and you both need ALL the facts now to consider further, and want advise on how it will impact on LO now and in future. Don't let it get you down, it may not be the end of the world, once you've had it explained properly and give time to process it you may look at it differenty, even as a minor hurddle your LO overcame in his very early days. 
Sending     to you and DH, you must of been going crazy.

Xx


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## Donkey

Irish, congratulations...I know exactly how you feel we are at a very similar stage.  We were approved a couple of weeks ago and then our SW approached us about a little boy.  We are meeting his SW on wednesday.

Libby I'm sure LO is just as overwhelmed and excited as you are.  I am actually very nervous about intros, i think they will be very hard, very draining.

Duckling, sorry you have had this sprung on you and I hopeyou manage to sort things out.

Love donkey xx


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## skyblu

Sorry no time for personals, just wanted to give Duckling some cyber hugs   
Give your SW hell tomorrow Duckling, this is so out of order.
Not knowing what the problem is, I just hope that when everything is explained to you that you may have a clearer idea what to do.
I so wish you all the best for you, dh and of course your lo.
Lots of luck and  for tomorrow
Skyblu.xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Duckling hope your got some answers today off you sw,

Donkey hope your meeting with lo sw on weds goes ok, we re in middle of our intros at min, first few days are tiring but so worth it, we have our LO at ours for first time today, he's fast asleep in his pram, we take him home later then we bring him to ours each day with a moving in date of this Thursday can't wait now.

Hope everyone's else is ok xxx


----------



## elmoeleven

hi,

just wondered how it is decided the age group of the child/ ren your approved to adopt. We have said siblings under 5, but i have seen a child on a VA and he will be 6 by the time we are / if we are approved. If you are approved for 0-5 can you still be matched to a child older?

elmo


----------



## KG81

Hi Elmo
I think that if you are approved for group 0-5, then you can't have a child older than 5 (not even 5yr and 3mth)
It's what we've been told, we've been approved 0-2, so I knew we couldn't have older than 2.


----------



## Irishlady

Thank you for all your kind wishes   can't believe it hasn't even been a week since approval, feel like it has been ages!! Still waiting to see if sw is coming to see us later this week, resisting the urge to contact her just yet!!

Oh duckling, I hope you got some answers today, sending you   

xx


----------



## Pink Lady 66

i know you can go younger as we were approved from 2- 5 and our sw said if an 18 month old came up that would be fine - surely it must be the same for slightly older


----------



## Miny Moo

Elmoeleven - Unless things have very much changed from when we were approved just over 2 years ago, I thought that it was just a recommendation, age, number, sex ect, we were approved for 1-2 aged 5+, we had wanted 2-3 aged 5+ but the panel recommended 1-2. We still got a lot of enquires about sibling groups of 3 and with children as young as 2. There is now harm in asking your SW and especially if you are not approved yet, you could always tweak your age range.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi just wondering if any news from Duckling x


----------



## Donkey

ELmo I agree with Minny I think it's a recommendation and it can be tweaked (within reason)

Belliboo I'm so glad you're enjoying intros I bet you can't wait til Thursday!

We have had a letter inviting us to a 'transitions' course next week, it's about intros.  Do you think that it's because they are really serious about us having the little boy that they have approached us about?

Love
donkey xx


----------



## Duckling

Just have to say first thankyou so much to so many of you for your kindness. It has meant so much having friends to talk to here who care and understand. xxx     
Had nearly 2 hour meeting today. Had lots of apologies. We had to point out things in CARA they hadn't noticed. Still not sure if our sw had read it as didn't seem to know what we were talking about at points. Discovered other info they had forgotten to give us - nothing bad - thank goodness. 
We're going ahead subject to certain info being found out. Not as bad as first thought - wish I knew that over weekend!!!
Exhausted now as have been distraught over weekend and had to be so assertive today (and I'm not good at assertive!).
This has certainly been the worst point of this process but have to remember that lo himself is so perfect and mustn't let it spoil things, but have found it very very scarey.
Sorry post me me me, promise to read up on other posts tomorrow. Hope everyone ok. 
Duckling xxx


----------



## skyblu

Duckling, so glad everything went o.k 
Skyblu.xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling phew it must have been awful I was so upset for you been talking to hubby about it all weekend. Full steam ahead now hun get your little man home and look forward to your little duckling family.

sky have you got any dates for your op yet??

1 day till panel and 2 days left at work


----------



## libby29

Our little man comes home forever tomorrow    . We had our review meeting today and everyone agreed we should bring placement day forward from thursday to tom   . He has coped soooo well and is totally amazing! We love him so much already and he rocks our worlds. Life changes forever tom and we can not wait   . Intro were exhausting but totally mind blowing. Had lots of tears at fc's tonight with me and fm, god knows how we'll be in the morning. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Irishlady

Yeah libby, what a wonderful feeling!!   

AAA, not long to go now   

Duckling, so glad everything went ok   

Bit of a me post....after receiving amazing news and being approved last Wed. DH calls me at work today to say funding has been pulled from his job...it is meant to be a 3yr post and he is only 1 yr into it. His boss is going to look at other funding avenues so not 100% that he is going to lose his job, but v uncertain. SW is coming out tomorrow and we thought we wouldn't say anything yet as we know nothing definite, do you think that is ok? Also if he was to lose job how would that affect how things progress? Our heads are all over the place and gone from being ecstatic to feeling flat and empty as don't know what the future holds..

Sorry for moan   xx


----------



## Cazg2

Hi ladies,


I wonder if I might join your group? 


We have been ttc for 5 years and after our 4th failed IVF cycle decided in Auguest that Adoption was for us. Since then we have been to two Open Evenings, one with Portsmouth City council and the other with Southampton. We had our initial home visit and received the report last week (decided to proceed with Portsmouth)


Then a friend put me in touch with a couple who had recently adopted throuigh Cabrini, who i'd discounted before as they required us to wait 6 months after our last fertility cycle. They spoke very highly of Cabrini, as said that they took from the whole of the UK rather than a smaller LA area. 


I am now in a quandry, to go with Portsmouth, who I did feel comfortable with, or appoach Cabrini and possibly go with them? Thoughts please......


It's been really encouraging seeing your journeys too, I'm not looking forward to the journey itself, but the end.... and at least having a little one of our own...


love Caroline xx


----------



## galaxy girl

SW talked to us today --- Potential Match!!!!! We are only ones being considered for 2 children aged 2 and 8 months!!! Over the moon. it's been a long nine months post approval.

Duckling glad to hear issues are being looked at further. 

Caroline - sorry i don't know who cabrini are - are they an england wide agency??

Irish lady. Hopefully your DH's job will continue with other funding - if not is there any potential for him 'taking' the adoption leave and you continuing to work? I don't know your work situation so I know this mightnt be an option. 

Great news Libby!!!


----------



## Belliboo

Libby good luck with your big move today, I'm dreading saying goodbye to foster carers, just hope I can hold it together when our little moves in tomorrow!!

Galaxy girl wow congratulations on your potential match, what a lovely start to the new year that will be

duckling glad you have bead explanation for things

Cazg2 sorry I've not heard of Cabrini either, we went with a neighbouring LA as ours had waiting list to start home study,

What has everyone been advised about introducing family to little ones, I know they can't visit house for 2-3 weeks but wondered what everyone elses LA said or does anyone else have any tips for time after when our little one moves In 17th months old & we re quite a close family so don't think I'll be able to keep the, away for a while, can we go visiting people xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby wow hun that is amazing so happy for you. Enjoy the start of your FAMILY xx

GG whoop whoop at long last hun you have the patience of a saint I would have got officially nuts by now. Hope it all goes smoothly xx

Belli hope move goes well and enjoy being mummy and daddy belli xx  we have been told NO visitors for 2 weeks but when we were on our prep course one of the SW suggested going out somewhere and just bumping into people because as she said people always look into prams and pushchairs, I guess at the end of the day just see how LO takes it if its too much I am sure we will know and just leave. I have spoken to a few people about this as we also have a really close family and I think everyone has different thoughts. 

caz sorry can't help we didn't look at any one other than our LA I saw a poster in the docs when I was waiting for acupuncture after our last failed IVF and it was that acupuncture session that made me feel like a human again so kinda went a bit well it was obviously meant to be and just went with them so sorry can't help. Good luck with the journey, it is a much more enjoyable experience than ivf.

Irish lady    sorry I don't have any words of wisdom xx


----------



## Duckling

Wow GG!! Fantastic news! Keeping my fingers crossed. So pleased for you.   

AAA can't believe it's nearly here!   You deserve this so much! Can't wait to hear how it goes. Good Luck for panel xxx

Donkey really hope it went well today. x

Welcome Caz - we went with a LA. Maybe you could ring Cabrini for an informal chat?

Hi Elmo x

Irish Lady   . When might you know for definite? Not sure if any point saying anything for the minute, but could you maybe work out a worst case scenario plan in case? Really feel for you. 

Hi Skyblu x

Libby - wow! Sounds like it's going fantastically well.
You too Belliboo! Lovely news. Keep letting us know how it's going girls, I rely on your experiences    xx

Guess what Libby and AAA? - we have to do a video now!!!  Oh dear, can see take 101 happening before I look remotely normal.  

Anj hope op went well. xx

Love from Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Duckling hee hee, I think ours took 6 or 7 the trouble was we both looked so miserable or always looking down at what we were reading, in the end we put her photo behind the camera so felt more like we were reading to her. Good Luck 

Well surprise surprise panel was CANCELLED, we were on our way and got a phone call to say panel manager was unwell and they had cancelled all of them for today hopefully we are back on for next Wednesday afternoon and the decision maker will sign it off there and then as well fingers crossed!! We carried on into town and went Christmas shopping for Bubba was amazing hee hee, got some lovely pink Christmas paper to wrap it all in as well


----------



## Poochie1111

Hey all


Duckling - how very frustrating that your SW forgot to tell you some very crucial info    I'm glad things are working out now and you've decided to proceed.  Have fun making the dreading video!!


Libby - hope moving in day has gone well today for you   


Cazg - I can't help either with Cabrini, sorry.  The usual advice is to go with the agency that feels most right for you.


GG - Yay!!! Fab news about your potential match.  It's happening at last!!


AAA - sorry panel was cancelled.  Hopefully next Weds will come along quickly...


I haven't done much of an update on how the HS is going for a while.  We'll it's moving now so I'm very happy. What a difference it makes when you get a few appointments in the diary! They are going well (I think   ) and we're currently on our prep course which I'm enjoying!


xx


----------



## panorama

Poochie - glad its going well!


AAA -how frustrating it got cancelled! But glad still on track!


Duckling - sorry you had to go through that   But really glad it is all still going ahead 


Belliboo - we had no visitors other than bumping into neighbours 1st 2 weeks then slowly introduced him, he was fine!


GG- so pleased for you and everything crossed!    


Cazg - I had a meeting with Cabrini and they were lovely, but as we wanted a littlie and not sure about siblings we found the LA to be better. As Cabrini told us they only go through Be My Parent or CWW so most of the more straightforward cases never make it there. Also Cabrini placements mean the LA has to pay them quite a bit of money and so LA's want to avoid this. So unless you are sure you can take on more needs or sibling groups I would recommend an LA instead, just my opinion though.


Hi to everyone, better go make dinner. LO has another cold   , so expect a busy night, can't wait for spring!  Well aside from Xmas 


panorama xx


----------



## fiona1

Hi Everyone,
You will see from my history I have been here before, finally we are back again.
I am actually posting on behalf of a friend, they have approached their LA (Manchester) but have been told one of them would have to take 9  months off work.they are self employed, and finish at 3pm, they want to adopt a child 3  who would be at school or pre school, so i cannot understand why one of them would have be at home during the day. i have advised them to look at a VA local to them, does anyone have any ideas or experience of a VA in Manchester?
We are waiting to be matched, only went to Panel a week ago, so not expecting anything quickly, but would love to have aphone call in the new year.
Did you all have to wait long?
Will try to catch up with all your stories and start posting regularly.
X


----------



## Duckling

Oh AAA how maddening! Never mind though, plenty of time yet til the 8th Dec. These things are never simple though are they?! The Christmas shopping sounded like lots of fun   

Hi Fiona sorry I can't help, but I'm sure someone will.

Panorama hope you all get a good night's sleep! 

Poochie I agree, as long as something's happening it's ok isn't it?

Duckling x


----------



## Irishlady

Head all over the place...our sw came out for a chat and had said that she might be able to talk about a wee one, but when she emailed yesterday said there was nothing concrete but would still come out and talk about the next step.

Well she did come out and at the last minute got the go ahead to talk about a 6month old little girl!!! Can't quite believe it............  
she sounds adorable and trying not to become too attached yet. Sorry for me post.

On another positive note things are looking quite hopeful for dh's job too


Sorry Fiona I can't help.

Panorama hope little one gets over her cold soon.

Big hugs to you all   xx
xx


----------



## Miny Moo

Fiona1 - our son was 6 when he came home so in full time school, I had initially intended to taking 6 months off then return to work part-time, 2 yrs in and I am still at home, i would not under estimate how tiring and emotionally draining it is, also it became very apparent to us very early on that it was in our son's best interest to have someone here for him full-time, he just would not have coped at all with me not being here when he was here.


----------



## libby29

Irishlady....thats fantastic, sound very exciting...hope it all goes well xxx
Bell...goodluck tom hun. It will be hard to hold those tears back but the shorter you keep the pick up the better. We picked our little man up today. We had a quick hello and i said goodbye and got lo to wave goodbye and put him straight in the car, hubby said the thankyou's etc as i couldn't make eye contact as i knew me and fm would start crying. She was crying her eyes out bless her and it makes me well up now thinking about it. If you think your anything like me then get hubby to say the goodbyes. I said mine last night and there was lots of tears then so we all knew it was best for us to make it quick today. Goodluck and enjoy your future together.

Well our amazing little man is fast asleep upstairs and me and my fantastic dh are about to crack open the bottle of bubbly we have saved since we started trying tc. Feels amazing and can not stop smiling. I'm finally a mummy and am in a complete dream!
Thankyou for all your kind messages, life is wonderful! 
To all still on their journey's.......its sooooooooo worth it! xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Irishlady

Yeah Libby!! Such wonderful news-enjoy  the fizz! Xx


----------



## minmouse

Wow Libby!!

What an amazing day, it must feel amazing to have him home.   hope he settles well. Keep the updates coming for us

X


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Irish lady wow how exciting you must be over the moon it really is a lovely feeling. Really pleased hubbys job is ok as well phew xx

Libby you made me cry reading your post how lovely hope you enjoyed the bubbly you both deserve it xxx

Hope everyone is ok my last day at work today


----------



## KG81

Libby that's fantastic you have him home!!!
Can't wait for it!


----------



## Poochie1111

Yay Libby!  How lovely. I bet that champagne tasted good! X


----------



## fiona1

Irish lady - Wow amazing news, fingers crossed to all works out for you.

Libby - Fab to hear your little boy is all tucked up in bed, I hope you got some sleep last night, altho I guess the bubbly may have halped  

X


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - Enjoy your last day, what a great feeling that must be!    how annoying that panel was cancelled    glad its only postponed til next week, and not next month!

Libby - Fantastic news, hope you enjoyed the Champagne!  I had a little smile when I read that, as we saved a bottle of Vintage from our wedding day (10 yrs ago) for the birth of our 1st child.  Its been in and out of the fridge more times than I care to remember.  But we're hoping to be opening it in the new year!   

Irish lady - WOW, that is a fantastic update.  6 months little girl, how perfect    What is the next step for you?  Fingers crossed for you!  Your head must be spinning.

AFM - We had our PAR delivered last friday, and we're happy with it.  SW has done a really good job for us, and its a very accurate report of us as a couple and individually.  She is coming to pick it up tonight, and then its just the wait for panel   

Hello to anyone I've missed   

x


----------



## Irishlady

AAA hope your last day is going quickly and you are being made a fuss of!!

Mrs YG pleased you are happy with your report and time flies until panel.

Well we have decided to take things to the next stage with this wee one and will meet her sw and medical adviser next week. Really struggling to work today and feel really emotional, and may burst into tears at any point...need to try and control myself!!!

xx


----------



## MrsYG

Irish Lady - Did your SW give you any indication prior to being approved that they already had LO in mind?  You've been linked so quickly after approval, that they must have been thinking about it I would not be able to do a thing at work if I was in your position    My mind would be in overdrive and web browsing everything PINK


----------



## Irishlady

Mrs YG I did have a feeling she had someone in mind. Then right after we were approved she said she might be out this week to talk to us about a wee one. She said last night that she has had her in mind for us for a few weeks. My mind is still such a whirl...............!!

x


----------



## Cazg2

Hi all


Many thanks for all your advice about whether to go with an LA or VA, I think we'll go ahead with Portsmouth, as we've felt comfortable with them and the ball has started rolling with them. 


Irish lady - great news for you and so quick! I am keeping all crossed for you xx


Mrs YG: Glad you're happy with the PAR (what does that stand for?) from what I've heard it's a lengthy old document! We've got that all to come....


Libby: I had tears in my eyes reading your post, i am so pleased for you! Wishing you and your husband all the luck in the world xx


Panarama: Thank you so much for your advice, you have helped me make up my mind - the LA it is. I'm really grateful xx


Thank God it's Friday tomorrow!!!


Caroline xxx


----------



## LBP

Hi all
Not posted here before, have been TTC for a long time, lots of fertility treatment inc IVF and ICSI.  Had a positive test earlier this year but sadly it wasn't meant to be.  Looked into getting immune tests done but have now decided against any further treatment.  We have wasted too much time and just want to be a family.  Adoption is the way for us and so we went to an information event last weekend with our LA.  They have passed on our details to another LA as where we live is a "funny" area that is the right on the border.  Question I have now is do we need to stick with the LA that our details have been passed on to, or can we go to another LA or VA without having to start process of information events again?  If so, do we approach them ourselves?
Any help appreciated.
Congratulations to everyone recently matched and now forever families, it is really motivating and now I know we are on the right path at last!


----------



## Irishlady

Hi littleblackpud - love the name by the way!! Afraid I don't know the answer to your question but wanted to say hi   and welcome to this board, where the ladies are really helpful and I am sure someone will help you soon!


----------



## watakerfuffle

Hi All, so much exciting stuff on here. Love reading news of being matched to little ones all so exciting.  HS has started for us now, second meeting next week and all positive so far!

littleblackpud we are also in an area where we are on the border of a few LA's. We took advantage of this and approached 2 of them, went to both of there information talks and actually you will find that each LA does things slightly differently so its important to attend there info days. We had a meeting with each of them but the final decision as to who to go with was taken out of our hands as one wanted us to wait a further 3 months whereas the other was prepared to take us straight on! And so far all is going well. Good luck with your journey. Night all x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

LBPud hi welcome to the thread you will get so much help on here. I can't help but sounds like wata can! Good Luck with your journey it is so much more rewarding than treatment x

Watakerfuffle. Hi excellent news on starting the HS hope it goes quickly for you xx

Well I am officially off work for 13 months whoop whoop, was lovely walking out yesterday and knowing that very soon we will have Bubba home


----------



## galaxy girl

AAA - very exciting! can't wait until its me too! 

children's SW is to come out next week to meet us!! Don't know how we are going to schedule it though - the 2 LO's we are short term fostering will def not give us the space to have grown up discussions.... will prob have to take morning off work. Can't wait to hear more!


----------



## LBP

Thanks for your help guys, I will look into more information events then 

AAA - very excited for you, wishing you every happiness


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

GG its all a juggling game isn't it! Hope it all goes well and at long last you can start moving forward with your forever family xx

LBP Thanks you will get to this point soon, my words of  wisdom are be honest, and stay strong. We took every visit, course etc one at a time and every time that one was done we were another step nearer to the end! I have to say with the blips we have had there were times when I didn't think it was every going to happen but we are getting there and in 2 weeks time we will be on our way to see our little girl and we get to take her out for the first time    

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx


----------



## Poochie1111

Irish lady - that's just wonderful news about your match. You must be so giddy!!

AAA - lovely words. The stories on here really help to keep me going  I hope you got a good send off yesterday!

GG - good luck for next week


----------



## nicpic

Hi All,
I've dropped off this thread for a couple of months while we waited for a social worker to be allocated after our course. So am not up to date with everyone's stories and will have a read through properly to catch up.   to everyone though!

Oliver - i did read yours however and just wanted to say sorry for your losses, its just so tough. I am really pleased you feel this is the right route. It took me ages to get myself to this place and we feel exactly the same - like we can start living our lives and planning things. We are having a loft conversion and booking holidays and time away with friends and it just feels amazing to be moving on from IVF at last!   Also I am arranging voluntary work (with a local surestart centre for same reason you state). When I went to meet them, they pointed out also that this will give you more of a support network long term which is also a real plus point to doing it. 

Our LA  had warned us that we might have a few month wait after our course and I promised myself I would not stress about it and get upset about the wait. Well, easier said than done. I went back to work to keep busy and then a month in started stressing as we hadnt heard a word and then when i chased - no response. A month later I started losing faith - our LA is really small and under resourced ( i guess they all are) but suddenly felt like our entire hopes and dreams rest with this tiny team of people and it felt scary! I started calling them daily (well stalking really) only to find the manager who determines resourcing was off sick. I realise we will have lots of periods of waiting so i'd better get used to it but found the lack of info and response difficult. And then suddenly, Thursday - he called me to say we are top of the list for the next SW and should be before Xmas.   The excitement i felt was so strong - i realised that this is definitely right for us now. It confirmed everything. Its only a small step i know but have been bouncing off the walls since Thursday with relief and excitement that we are moving fwd!!!!!

Am feeling more positive than I have felt for about 4 years!

Nicpic xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Poochie thanks hun yeah work were lovely. 

Nic pic stay strong we have basically had 6 months doing nothing this year and in October it all happened and now we are really close to our little girl coming home! I think once things start moving you will feel better there truely is nothing worse than been stuck in complete limbo. Hope    you get a phone call really soon to arrange a visit xx


----------



## Donkey

Libby you made me cry   

AAA very exciting for you too   

Donkey xx


----------



## skyblu

AAA - Sorry your panel date was cancelled, I hope the 8th comes quick for you  

Libby - you must be over the moon with your little man, your story brought tears to my eyes. Enjoy your new family. 

Irishlady - good luck with your match.

Littleblackpud - welcome 

Watakerfuffle - good luck with hs, enjoy it as it goes by so quick.

AFM - It is d day on Tuesday and I should have an answer from my complaint about my waiting time for my hysterectomy, I have now been waiting nearly a year. 
Everything is going well with our assesment and sw mentioned that she has started looking for matches.
We as still on track for Feb panel depending on my medical which will be on Dec 8th.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend, and sorry to anyone I missed.

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## libby29

Our amazing little man has been home 4 days now and i still can't believe it   
He's so cute! He throws his little hands in the air and pulls this silly face to make us laugh at the most unexpected moments and it works everytime....i could just munch him all up   
The only area that he seems to be unsettled in is his sleep. He slept through the night at fc but has been up every night here from about 3-5am (killer) but he'll get there i'm sure. Feel so sorry for him and all our lo, they have to deal with so much its heart breaking when you think about it   . He's doing really well though and we are both so proud of him and we're loving family life.
Every night i sit down and think.... i can't quite believe WE DID IT!     xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby how lovely and funny, hope the sleep settles back down soon hunxx

Sky fingers crossed you get a date soon and it doesn't  mess anything up keep us posted xx

AFM not much happening here really just hoping Wednesday happens I am a little concerned as Wednesday is strike day and as we are with a LA they are out on strike! I really hope it doesn't get messed about again we are running really close to the Christmas cut off and I don't wanna be delayed again! Feeling unsettled!


----------



## Belliboo

Aaa good luck with panel on weds bet you can't wait to meet your little girl it's amazing 

Libby aah your little boy sounds good, when are you going to introduce him to your family

It's been 3 days since our little boy come home too & it feels like he's always been part of our lives, he's such a good boy he's settled in great, he even pointed to upstairs to come to bed & slept all night , he really he is so good think we have been so lucky so far,

Skyblu hope you get some answers in Tuesday

Irish lady great news on being matched 

Nicpic great news on starting hs, 

Hope everyone else is ok too xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Such wonderful news on here lately   

Congratulations to all those with lo's recently home   

Sorry I've been a bit awol lately, what with my 40th Birthday celebrations and then my op' last Tues (to correct a breathing problem in my nose), I haven't had a chance to catch up on here as normal. 
Op' all went well and it was better than I expected, I'm just a bit uncomfortable, but in less pain than I was expecting.  

I'm going to attempt to catch up soon, but just wanted to stop by and say hi   

Luv Anj x


----------



## Donkey

AAA we are meeting LO's SW on Weds, so they aren't all on strike   

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj sorry hun I had totally forgotten dah pleased it went well and hope you make a nice speedy recovery. How were the birthday celebrations xx

Belli sounds amazing can't wait x

Donkey our SW isn't either as she has said she will be there even though she is doing the prep course with a new SW that day so not quite sure how she is going to do when they are about 40 mins apart as well!! Just hope some of the panel members aren't.


----------



## emma.b

Hi everyone. Can I join you lovely ladies? We are approved to adopt 2 children aged 0-5. Our social worker told us that our PAR is being looked at by two social workers, one for a 1 year old little boy and the other a 3 year old little boy. Nervously awaiting a call from our sw to see if either want to proceed with us. Neither child has court date set so sw is going to make some enquiries about why that is. After a very long wait I can't believe we are another step closer to becoming parents. It is lovely to read all your stories and share in your journey. I wish you all well and look forward to getting to know you all a bit better. 
Emma.b xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi AAA......I had a lovely Birthday thankyou   . I went to Champneys for 2 nights (DH's pressie to me) and it was wonderful!
I missed DH & Nemo of course, but Nemo had lots of fun with Daddy and we spoke lots on the phone.
DH has been brilliant after my op' too as he was able to take a few 'family' days off from work and look after Nemo when I came out of hospital, he's a brilliant Daddy and I think Nemo will be disappointed when it's mainly Mummy again   .
Not long for you now, hey!!? Lots and lots of luck for Weds, although I'm sure it will be fine. Matching panel (although every bit as important, more so in some ways) is far more relaxed than the approval panel, you'll be fine   
Before you know it your little princess will be sleeping away all cosy in her cot upstairs!   

emma.b......welcome to you   

Luv Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks hun dah I think the old memory is going cause I remember you saying about your lovely weekend away!!! I can't wait till she is snuggled up in her cot. We have been at my mum's today and I helped bath the 3 boys they said its ok there is room for Bubba as well if not I will use Granny's shower said the oldest one they are so lovely and they really can't wait to meet her. We have said Father Christmas is making an early extra special visit this year specially for us and bless them they are all convinced she is going to come wrapped up with a bow on her head. Soooooo cute


----------



## skyblu

Welcome Emma B and congrats on your approval and possable link 

AAA - Our sw is coming to see us on Wednesday and we are LA, I hope they dont delay you again, good luck for Wednesday 

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sky thanks, I just worry about everything LOL just a bit worried because if it doesn't happen Wednesday we are running out of time for Bubba to come home before Christmas. We just want her home now. hope you get some news this week xx


----------



## emma.b

Thanks Sky and Anj for the welcome. I hope your meeting with sw goes well tomorrow. 
AAA- I really hope you things aren't delayed. You must be so excited about getting your little one home.

No news from our sw yet about the possible link. Am going to ring him weds if I haven't heard by then. 

Emma.b x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Emma thanks, hope you hear something soon it truely is amazing. I am actually really nervous this week just want to get panel done and dusted tomorrow then we will meet our little girl next week   

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## Duckling

AAA Good Luck for tomorrow!    Our sw is working too. Bet it felt great to leave work!  
Beliboo and Libby - so lovely to hear you both so happy. xx
Emma b welcome and congratulations!
Irish Lady - sounds wonderful -6 months old! Wow! Really glad to hear about dh's job too.
Mrs YG excellent news PAR complete. Hope wait for panel not too long. x
Littleblackpud welcome   .
GG bet you can't wait for your visit!
Nicpic great news! 
Hi Sky - great news sw started looking for matches. Really hope medical goes well now. x

Hi to everyone else. 

Well after a bit more nagging this week have got a meeting sorted to hopefully answer all questions. Feel like such a nuisance having to nag, especially at this late stage. And on course for panel next week!!!

Love from Duckling xx


----------



## Irishlady

Good luck tomorrow AAA   

Hope everyone else is good   

Met with wee one's sw today and feeling shattered so reckon bed is not that far away!! 

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

irish lady hope you had a good night xx

Duckling you nag away hun you are more than entitled to answers xx

They said YES we are so happy think I might sleep for a month tonight, I have been so worried I know it was probably stupid really but our SW saying they could still say No a few weeks ago really unsettled us. 8 more sleeps until we meet our precious bundle x


----------



## Anjelissa

HUGE CONGRATULATIONS AAA!!!  
         

Not long now and she'll be home with you  
One bit of advice......get as much sleep as you can now before intros and placement  

Luv Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj thanks hun will do my best xx


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations  AAA, how exciting!


----------



## sweets x

ALWAYS                      
Am so so happy for you both. Like Anj says, get some kip lol. Itros are amazing but so so tiring too. Dh thinks i have lost plot as    tears of joy for you xxxx

Anj- hope you over your op. Glad nemo is doing well.

Emma B- welcome and best of luck with your link xx

Duckling- best of luck for panel xx

Hope everyone else is doing ok xx

Our youngest LO has been home just over a week. Intros went really well and she has settled in well with us. She is a very brave little girl. We have kept her busy, which is one thing i would suggest anyone just getting a LO home. She fell asleep so easily those first few days and gave her less time to get upset at bedtime. Mummy still wasnt getting kisses though, last night asked her to give daddy and sis kisses before taking her to bed, asked if mummy could have one, she ran across the lounge with arms wide open, laughing, gave mummy 5 kisses. One very happy mummy. 

Just want to say to all you lovelies still on your journeys, its well worth all the waiting and heartache when you get your dream LO's home. Pls keep faith, and I know its so so hard. You will get there. Getting slushy now lol so will go.

Take care

Sweets x x


----------



## Poochie1111

AAA -         Yay!!!


Sweets - so glad it's all going well. I bet your heart melted when she said mummy


----------



## sweets x

Poochie- thanks hunny. Yes, and still does when they say it. Hope all is going well for you xx


----------



## Duckling

*AAA Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!* So very very happy for you!  You deserve it! xxxxxx

Sweets so lovely to hear from you xx

Hi everyone else.

Duckling x


----------



## Duckling

AAA don't know why font was so small - should have said _*CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*_ xxxx


----------



## KG81

Congratulations AAA!!!!


----------



## Irishlady

Fabulous news AAA - congratulations           

Sweets lovely to read your post and glad all is going well   

xxx


----------



## Irishlady

Fabulous news AAA congratulations            Hope you get a great nights sleep tonight

Sweets lovely to hear your news and glad all is going well   can;t wait to hear the word mummy!!

xx


----------



## sweets x

Irishlady- congrats on being approved, hope your wait for a match is a short one xxx


----------



## galaxy girl

congrats AAA is a MUMMY!! So pleased for you!

Sweets - great to hear those stories!

Irish lady - did you have a list of questions to ask SW? we are supposed to meet LO's SW this week ( no confirmed date though so will prob be next....) have been reading your thread re questions to ask - now I'm nervous about what we should say!


----------



## skyblu

Congrats AAA - now you will defiantly be a mummy, so happy for you 

Sweets - nice to hear from you and so pleased 2nd lo has settled well 

Afm - still not heard from the hospital, so I read the letter to make sure I had the right date, the decision was being made yesterday and I will be told of the outcome shortly afterwards  so will leave it until Monday then phone up if I haven't heard anything.
Why is it in life we have to wait wait and wait 

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## AoC

WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAA!!!!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks everyone xx

Sweets aw how lovely sounds great xx

GG we couldn't think of anything at first but then came up with a long list of just general things, like how many teeth, weight, nappy size routine, but to be fair our FC was so lovely he kinda answered the questions as he was talking anyway! hope that helps a bit we were told to ask anything we wanted to even if it sounded really stupid!

Sky hope you get an answer soon xx

Have a lovely day everyone


----------



## Irishlady

Tried posting a couple of times last night but it didn't work   

AAA such wonderful news. Congratulations    I hope you managed a good nights sleep last night   

Sweets lovely to hear from you and sounding so happy   

xx


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - Congratulations - you really are a Mummy now       

Hello to everyone else, sorry its a really quick one, got the Boss lingering!   

Our PAR is done, and she's submitted to panel....eek!  13 Sleeps to go!

xxx


----------



## panorama

So many lovely news on here! Been meaning to post but had one last wedding last week (I'm a photographer) so been busy trying to get it all done so I can be free of work for a while! 


AAA - thrilled for you! So excited for you next week!! xx


Skyblu -   waiting will be worth it!!


GG - we just asked a few things, mostly was the sw talking!


Sweets - so happy for you, how wonderful to have 2 lovely girls now together xx


That's all I can manage for now so hello to everyone else, LO not been well today but seems brighter now, am a bit shattered!  But we have a court date for the adoption order, 19th December so should all be legal just before Xmas! Can't wait 


Love to all


panorama xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Panorama what a wonderful Christmas pressie xx

Mrs YG yeah on your par going in and not long now you will be fine and a mummy yourself really soon

have a lovely weekend everyone xx


----------



## elmoeleven

hi all,

well the first part of the prep course is coming up next week and DH is having a wobble and im not sure what to do. He is worrying that adoption isn't for him and will he bond and all the stuff i feel is probably normal, but i don't know what to do to support him. i feel like if i throw too much of my opinion on him he might think i am putting pressure on but at the same time this is what he does, he wobbled with the ivf and then in the end it was him pushing for it    men!!


----------



## liveinhope

i'm whispering this but there's the possibility of a match with a 17month old baby boy and later in the year his baby sibling.  Still at the early stages but looking good!  Found this out on my birthday, what a present!!


----------



## Poochie1111

liveinhope - whispering back.. that's brilliant news   .  Fingers and toes crossed


YG - lots of luck for Panel!!! Not long to go    


Elmo - we've just finished our prep course.  They wen't through all the attachment issues, but more importantly, what you can do to make it work and overcome any wobbles along the way.  I cam out feeling really positive and that I could take on more than I first thought.  The prep course is really good and everyone attending will have the same anxieties as your DH has (though I don't need to tell you that!!).  it might help him to chat to the other guys there.


x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

LIH hee hee what amazing lovely whispers xx

Elmo hun it is normal, there are wobbles all along the journey the same as there would be with anything that is gonna be such a huge change to everyday living. Once you are there and settled you will soon get talking to other couples and he will be fine, hubby made some good friends from ours. Let him read some of the posts on here I am sure that would help.


----------



## Duckling

Hi everyone, hope enjoying your weekend.
Liveinhope - such a lovely exciting whisper - keeping my fingers crossed xx

Elmo please don't panic, I think wobbles are totally normal. I've found the whole process scarey with highs and lows. Dh and I found that telling each other truthfully how we felt helped us and that's what you're both doing. x Take your time, the prep group really helped us - meeting others in the same situation makes you feel a whole lot better. Lots of luck. xx

GG only a little tip - we asked sw all about lo and wished after that we'd probed more about birth family.

Mrs YG great news about PAR.

Sky hope you hear very soon   

Panorama that's such lovely news.

Duckling xx


----------



## MrsYG

Elmo - Its completely normal to have wobbles, all throughout the process.  Maybe try explaining to your DH that Prep course is there as a tool to enable you to make an informed decision on whether adoption really is for you, and not to make any decisions either way prior to attending?!  I was very nervous about prep group, but by day 3 I was completely comfortable and confident in the group.    Good luck and keep us informed.
Liveinhope -    How exciting!!!  What stage are you at with the match?  are you the only people being considered?  Fingers crossed for you!
Hope everyone is having a good weekend, however rubbish the weather is   ... we put our Christmas Tree up last night, so the house looks lovely.  We were saying to each other how next year Christmas could be VERY different... fingers crossed.
xxx


----------



## Arrows

Wow -not been on here in ages and so much good news! AAA I'm so, so happy for you!
Fingers crossed for Duckling!

We go to panel 23rd Feb and in the meantime the SW is bring us profiles from Jan to see if we can find a match ASAP! 
In the meantime all three of my brothers are getting married next year and i'm desperately trying to complete my teaching course early so that if we get matched straight away I'm able to still complete the course. Not easy when there is an unbelievable amount of work to do even if I was to complete everything on the regular deadlines!
Just a few more months -it'll be worth every minute!


----------



## Donkey

AAA, CONGRATULATIONS     

Livein hope (whispering too) - we have been offered the same scenario.  Exciting isn't it?

xxx


----------



## skyblu

Elmo - My DH was the same and was really bricking it when we had our first day at the prep course, so much so I nearly told him to f off and I go on my own.
He did go and by lunch time I really thought he was going to go home, when he turned round and said "it is not as bad as I thought and I am sorry for being a d**K this morning" and from then on he looked forward to the rest of the course.
As some of the others have said, prep courses are there for you to find out as much about adoption as possable and to make sure it is for you both before you sign up for it.
It is very normal to have wobbles and there will probely be more wobbles along the way. Good luck on your journey. 

LIH - Congrats on your little whisper.  

Hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Skyblu.xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows long time no speak and its all happening for you. Yeah, what a wonderful year next year is going to be for your family xx

Donkey shout it from the tree tops hun    

LIH are you ready to shout yet LOL hope you can soon hun enjoy it xx

Sky dare I ask if you have heard anything about your op??

Well we have 3 more sleeps bit of a mixed bag of emotions and feelings at the moment it oddly still doesn't feel real?? Think that is just me being me well I hope it is


----------



## Duckling

Arrows, lovely to hear from you - great news.
Liveinhope and Donkey - sounding great!!

Just a quick one to say *Approved!!! *  So happy and relieved. Think have got name problem sorted too.  No more nasty surprises now I hope.  Letting it all sink in that this is it, we've finally made it. Have found the hurdles of the last few weeks nearly overwhelming at times but can't wait to meet our beautiful little boy now. Thank you to so many of you for your kindness. xxx
Duckling xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Duckling.......CONGRATULATIONS!!!  
Not long now and your little man will be with his Mummy and Daddy where he belongs 

Love Anj x x


----------



## KG81

Congratulations Duckling!!! Great news!


----------



## swallowtail

Hi all,

I am new to here and have found all your posts so helpful and inspiring! I hope you don't mind me asking for a bit of advice? 
We went to an LA information evening 2 weeks ago and are waiting to see if we will be taken on by them. Don't want to chase them and look impatient, lol!  
So far we have read a million websites on the fine detail of the process(!), read a book on adoption and attended an info evening. I have started a kind of 'CV' of personal info and info about work etc&#8230;I have had some counselling after our final round of IVF. I have spoken to my employer about our plans, found out about adoption pay from HR and spoken to all our family and friends (who fully support us - which is so lovely  ). 
I don't think we can officially apply until March (6 months after treatment), and their first 4 day prep courses next year are in March and June. So all being well we hope to be on the June one perhaps. 
Does anyone know if it is likely that they will arrange an initial visit prior to our application, just for a chat maybe? I got the impression they would but now am not sure.  
Also, reading a lot of signatures on FF it looks as though adopting an infant as young as say 10/11 months is not unheard of at all&#8230;which goes against everything we read and are told. Has anyone been told their LA will not take them on as they would prefer to adopt someone who is 2yrs or under?

Thanks for reading and for any feedback.  
Kate xx


----------



## MrsYG

Hi Kate, welcome to the board.  It sounds like you've already been very pro-active in preparing for your adoption journey, which SW's love    so well done you!  You say you've been to an open evening, and that you can't officially apply until March... is that because you've only just had your ED cycle?  I'm not being nosey, but just wanted to let you know my experience...

We had last IVF in Jan and applied in March, we had an initial meeting with SW in April and went to Prep in June... so even though they have a '6 month rule' it didn't stop them getting us on the prep course well in advance so we didn't miss out.  Maybe because we assured them we were 'over' the whole treatment side of things, and had accepted and moved on.

So what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad about being pushy!! Some LA's are really bad at keeping in touch, and you could easily be forgotten about.  I would ring them for feedback, and push to be put on the March Prep course, because by the time March come round, it can't be far off 6 months since your last treatment!  They do normally do an initial visit prior to Prep, but each LA is different. 

Regarding age, I've seen more and more younger children being placed recently.  They drill into everyone that there are no littlies, but I've seen a 6 month old placed this week, and numerous under the age of 2!  So they are definately out there waiting for Forever Families    Some LA's do turn away potential adopters who want a really young baby, but I think its done to make them realise that getting a 6 week old baby is never going to happen!

Good Luck and keep us informed!
x


----------



## swallowtail

Hi MrsYG

Thank you so much for your reply! I really appreciate it.  
I will maybe give them a call this week, perhaps if I explain our situation we may be allowed to go on the March prep course. If not we don't really mind waiting but it would obviously be nice!  

We had our donor cycle in September (2011), and having already comes to terms with not being able to have a child using my eggs the year before I really feel ready now. I sort of wish we had have looked into adoption instead of doing IVF but I also know that you need to go through processes before coming to terms with things. 

That's great news re ages, DH would be thrilled. 

Good luck for panel!  

K xx


----------



## Arrows

I agree with MrsYG kate. 
Different LAs do things differently so there's no way to know which way round they'll do things with regards to doing an initial interview before prep or when. Usually before from my experience and a number of others though.
We first applied June 2010 and going to panel 23rd Feb 2012.
MrsYG applied in Feb 2011 and going to panel next week! 
Each LA does things differently but you're on the right track being proactive with your application. 

Rachel


----------



## Bunny Face

Hello Ladies, 

I hope you don't mind me joining you...I just wanted to share some news  - we have our first social worker visit next week...argh! 

I'm excited, nervous, scared and worried that she wont 'like' us...I had better start cleaning!!!


----------



## minmouse

Evening all,

Welcome Bunny and Kate 
Just wanted to say CONGRATS to Duckling, glad things are getting sorted. You are on the home run now 

AFM - I've lost just over a stone since initial visit so I'm going to crack on and book medicals in now, hopefully enough to demonstrate we understand it's important, altho still a way to go!
M
X


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Good luck Bunnyface.


We have our LA information evening/afternoon next Friday (16th). I am really excited but DH is pretty silent on the whole thing and doesn't want to talk about it. He is very resentful of the fact that to try and have the family that we desperately want some 'stranger' is going to pry and delve and make a decision on us as people.


I am really hoping that he will feel more positive once we get to the meeting - may have to beat him with a stick!!!!


Such lovely news on here lately, so happy for you all, there are going to be some very special christmas' out there.


Greenie xxx


----------



## Arrows

Greenie, lovely to hear from you and Bunnyface too.
My husband started this journey feeling similar with regards to invading privacy and because he doesn't recall much of his childhood to discuss but it's all handled well by the SWs and after going to our first prep and him feeling he couldn't cope with any sort of behaviour, medical or emotional difficulties he came away much more positive and confident that he'd make a good father and knew a lot more than he thought he did.
Now after initially doing the prep course because of my desire to have children not necessarily his, we set off doing our homestudy with the same attitude knowing that we both wanted to have a role in helping to bring up children together -children we could call son or daughter.


----------



## tassiegal

Hello guys, I too have been reading the blog for the last fees weeks and have found everyone's stories invaluable. We now know so much about the process now thanks to everyone on here and ready to adopy (i felt when reading Kate 77's blog that I was reading my own situation as well -which  was lovely as I knew I was not alone) Wer are now at the stage of waiting for a phone call for our initial visit from the social worker. We ended up going to two LA's information evenings, but chose the larger one as we will be moving closer in their area in the new year. However, I would love some advice as when I called on Monday the friendly person from the LA advised they were having a allocation meeting yesterday and we would hear in 3 weeks from our allocated social worker to set the inital meeting date. So do I keep calling them regularly as I have read some LAs you need to chase or is their an accepted time frame before I call? Any advise is appreciated


----------



## swallowtail

Thanks Rachel - lots of luck for panel in Feb, let's hope next Xmas will be very special for you!
Hi Bunny Face, good luck with the SW visit. I too would be manically cleaning lol. Let us know how it goes&#8230;
minmouse - thanks! Many congrats on losing a stone that is amazing!!
Greenibop - hopefully DH will come round a little after the info evening, I imagine both partners will have different worries and concerns at various steps.
tassiegirl - hello and lovely to read your post! I wish you lots of luck. Not sure on chasing people&#8230;I gather most LAs need chasing but maybe someone else can advise you on that. I guess one short phone call a week is not going to be an issue and I assume they will subtly tell you to stop if it is annoying! 
AFM I caved in and emailed them yesterday, will let you know if and when they reply. I am going to try and change my user name soon, so if I pop up with a different one I will let you all know it's me lol 
xxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

I wrote a post last night and it isn't here, I have been having all sorts of problems trying to get on here this week   

Duckling a huge massive congratulations for you both i am so pleased it has all come good, when do you start introductions?   

Hi to all our new comers this thread is invaluable and there is always someone who knows the answers or has experienced something similar. Good Luck to you all and the end does happen xx

Hope everyone is ok, we still haven't had the paperwork from the DM so getting a bit stressed as I need it to make work official and we should be starting our introductions tomorrow! Not sure if the postie has been or not yet, not sure how long to leave it until we ring our SW hubby is just Mr chilled out and I feel like a cat on hot bricks xx


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

wishing you all the best for tomorrow aaa - you must be so excited!!!!! x


----------



## Poppets Mammy

Hello everyone, sorry I've been MIA  

Just a quick post: -

Congratulations Duckling and Libby, very happy for you xx

Welcome to newcomers

AAA best of luck tommorrow, let us know how it goes, enjoy every min 

Xx


----------



## Duckling

AAA loads of luck for tomorrow! I know you'll be exhausted but let us know how you get on if you can.    I'm really excited for you! xxx
We don't meet our little boy until the beginning of Jan    - our la don't do intros in December.

Hi Forever, thanks! Hope all good. x

Hi Swallowtail and welcome - we had an initial visit, just a chat really telling us how things worked. We've been matched with a little boy who was 11 months at the time of the link, but will be nearly 13 months by the time we meet him. But of course, like the girls have said, everywhere seems to be different. Lots of luck.

Hi too Bunnyface -I had a massive cleaning session (and quite a few too after, for first sw visit, then lo's sw, then foster carer!   Think that may say more about me being a bit bonkers, than their need to see a spotless house!) Wishing you lots of luck, I'm sure she'll like you!

Minmouse you should be very proud of yourself!   

Greeniebop don't worry too much about your dh, hopefuly the info session will make him feel better (it's good to see other 'normal' people in the same position   ). Also you know the prying's not so bad if you just go with the flow. We made sure we were open and honest but didn't find it that intrusive - and we're quite private and quiet people. I had wobbles all the way through and I think that's quite normal too.

Hi Tassiegal too - from our experience sw's need some nagging, but you also need to be really really patient I'm afraid. I'd give them the amount of time they said, then start nagging. Good luck.

Hi Anj - thanks for the good wishes   . Hope you're all good. x
Hi Arrows and KG xx

Going to consult my baby buying list for another bit of internet shopping now!  

Love from Ducklingxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks everyone we are excited have been to a local adoption support group this afternoon was great playing with all the kids knowing that next month    we went out for an early meal afterwards to celebrate our last night before we become a family    The paperwork hasn't turned up   but they faxed matching cert over to my manager and have confirmed the match hip hip hooray so we are all set to go tomorrow.

Duckling enjoy the shopping we are still buying LOL had to go out yesterday as the nappy bag we brought originally really wasn't big enough not sure this one is either think I might need a suitcase on wheels!!

FH welcome back hope you are ok xx


----------



## Poochie1111

Evening all.  Just bobbing on quickly to wish AAA lots of luck for tomorrow    
Welcome to our new ladies


----------



## galaxy girl

Very exciting AAA!

Also whoo wooo for Duckling!!

We finally have a date to meet LO's SW - on friday. the snow better stay away!!!


----------



## Anjelissa

Just popped on to wish AAA lots of luck with intros   
I hope it goes really smoothly, I'll be thinking of you   
Looking forward to hearing that you have her home and all snuggly in her cot   

Love Anj x


----------



## swallowtail

Thanks AAA, and hope it is all going well.
Duckling, thanks and congrats! Enjoy that shoppping! 
Galaxy girl - good luck with SW visit.

  

Quick question at the risk of running before we can walk (!)... employers wondering about adoption leave notice if we are successful. Obv they don't get months of notice like on maternity leave. Is it safe to say it varies greatly but around 2 months is probably the average shortest notice for going adoption leave? Am getting all this bit sorted whist we wait for stuff to start    I appreciate that intros could be short with v young ones, but I just need to say something at this v early stage - thanks xx


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - Hope the intro's are going well, can't wait to here your update   

Swallowtail - I'd think that 2 months is about average.  You have to get the link, meet SW, FC, and then go to next available slot at panel, so yes about 2 months before intros start.    My employees didn't even think of this, I told my manager and it hadn't even occurred that we wouldn't have a 'due date' to work to!!! Men!?!

Duckling - congrats on your big YES    Sorry, don't know how I missed it yesterday! You must be thrilled... happy shopping!   

Welcome to the new ladies   

AFM - We have our time for panel next week...10am    so we don't have to wait all day for the answer!   

xx


----------



## KG81

Swallowtail, I had 3 weeks as it went very quick!


----------



## swallowtail

Fab thanks MrsYG! I did say I would need to talk to them about notice period but yes...female boss does think about all this bless her! Luckily work for a big company with an adoption policy and nice HR folk. 

Brilliant news on the time for next week - got everything crossed   xx

P.S. Just seen your post KG81 - wow! Thanks will mention it could be any time really lol but for them to work to 2 months so as not to panic them x


----------



## AoC

Hi Swallowtail.    I just wanted to say that I have warned my immediate boss that it could be very quick indeed, so he's aware.  I expect we'd have some weeks' notice, but I wanted to give them a hint that it could be quite rapid so they didn't panic!  

*waving to everyone*


----------



## swallowtail

Ah ok - good point! Thanks xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone yesterday was truely amazing and too all those just starting on this journey stick with it.

Our daughter is just 1 and not long after we got there she put her arms up to me and said mum mum OMG how I didn't erupt into a flood of tears neither hubby or I know but it was just amazing. We also got Dad dad a bit later on. Our FC believes full on works best so we did a fair bit yesterday including giving her her tea. We were just getting ready to say good bye to her and she was standing on the floor and took her first 2 steps to her mum mum. 

Have a strange feeling I won't be back for a little while, so Good Luck to everyone who has panel in the near future and to all those waiting to meet their LO's it is truely amazing.


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

So happy for you aaa. Have an amazing Christmas with your daughter x


----------



## liveinhope

Wow AAA sounds amazing! Hope it continues to go really well.  

I am still waiting to hear from LO's sw, getting a little impatient now grrr....!!


----------



## swallowtail

Wow! Sounds amazing AAA, congrats and have a fab family Christmas xxx


----------



## Arrows

swallowtail, sorry youhave to wait longer. aaa fantastic news.

homestudy almost finished now and today our SW told us that she has heard of a potential link already and we'll start looking at profiles to find a match after christmas, with a view to potentially matching on the same day as approval! very exciting!


----------



## liveinhope

Heard from our SW this evening and LO's sw is interested  .....


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Loads of fab news on here today. Christmas is going to be an exciting time for lots of you. 

One week to go until info meeting and DH and I talked about it last nite and he seems much more positive - yey!!!

Have a loveky weekend xxx


----------



## galaxy girl

AAA- your post almost made me cry, never mind you!

Met with LO's SW today and the boys sound perfect. Can't wait until potential intro's in March!!!!!! now need to think of good FF names for them!


----------



## minmouse

Oh AAA, how absolutely wonderful! Love these stories  hope intros continue to go so well and soon be home. 
X


----------



## Irishlady

How amazing AAA   Have a wonderful, wonderful Christmas   

Glad you have heard from LO's sw Live in hope!!   

xx


----------



## someday

this is my first time posting in this section. we went to an open night this week and have decided this is the road we want to take. we will have our home visit after christmas and training in feb. exciting but very scary. i expect i will be posting in here lots xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA....It's lovely to hear how you're getting on, I'm so pleased it's going so well.   
Your little princess sounds adorable!   
It brings back memories as Nemo was 11 months when we first met him. I think my first words when I saw him were 'oh my God, oh my God!' He was just so adorable, and it's hard to fully comprehend in that moment that the beautiful little person looking at you is your child. 
We are all so blessed to have our special little people   
Looking forward to hearing more AAA, I hope placement day goes well   

Lots of love Anj x x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi Someday,

We are off to an information evening on Friday so at a similar stage to you. Looking forward to getting to know you.

x


----------



## sweets x

Just a quickie before bed!

Always- lovely to read, so so happy everything going well for you. Is lovely when you hea mum or mummy. When our eldest said mummy I didn't respond at first and FC said she is talking to you lol. Is an amazing feeling. Enjoy xxx

Someday- Welcome and good luck to you x

Anj- hiya. Hope you and nemo doing well x

Liveinhope- Glad all is going well with LO's s/w

GG- sounds good x

Greeinibop- good luck for info evening

Arrows- sounds very positive for you x

Swallotail- timescale for ya about our girls.  
Linked beginning of April. 
S/w's and family finder came out to see us on 19th.  
Next day told we were being considered to be the girls mummy and daddy. 
May 3rd, met f/c's.
June 9th, Life appreciation day
July19th, Approval panel
July 28th, Met our eldest daughter, started intros
July 29th, Met our youngest (they were in seperate f/c)
August 9th, eldest daughter came home
Met up with youngest once every week
November 18th, intros with youngest
November 21st, youngest came home

Good luck x x 

Hi to everyone else, hope all is going well.

Our youngest has been home nearly 3 wks now. She is settling nicely, although is a daddies girl and finds it hard at times when he is at work and cries for da da. We have our mid way review next week. 
Eldest is also doing ok but is quite posessive about her things so we are trying to make light of it for her and help her deal with it better. She cries and screams when sis takes her toys, but little one also winds her up on purpose. 
She is ok about sharing mummy and daddy luckily cause she has been on her own with us a while so us and s/w's were worried about this. 

Take care 

sweets x x


----------



## galaxy girl

sweets - glad all going well with both your girls home!! Our boys are in different FC placements to so is interesting to see your timescales. I think ss are more concerned about how attached eldest is to fcs and how that transition wll go..


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi sorry just a me post to keep you all up to date. 

Bubba came home yesterday for a few hours we then took her back tea bath and bed, and were there for 7 this morning to get her up and breakfast we then brought her home and she is currently asleep in her cot it really is lovely seeing a little person snuggled up in her cot. She is cuddling the soft toy croc that we brought and was on the photos etc so really special! Shame can't take a photo of her sleeping as don't want to wake her! This really is an out of this world experience and we are so lucky x


----------



## MrsYG

AAA - fabulous    So pleased everything is going so well for you.   It must be very surreal, after the long wait.
XXX


----------



## Duckling

AAA so absolutely fantastically wonderful to hear how it's going   ! It just gives me such a lovely feeling. Thankyou for finding time to let us know xxx

Sweets great to hear it's going well too- you're a marvel x

Good Luck for Fri Greeniebop

Welcome Someday    and good luck

Great news GG and Liveinhope and Arrows! xxx

Mrs YG great time for panel - lots of luck

Hi everyone else, off to bed now. 
Duckling x


----------



## Donkey

So much good news here     
Duckling, AAA you both sound so happy.  
Liveinhope things are looking good for you too   
Our SW our having a selection meeting tomorrow so hopefully we will get a date for matching panel too.
Lots of love
Donkey xx


----------



## Irishlady

Hi, not sure if you remember but we were potentially linked with a wee one. Anyway, after hearing more about current contact levels and legal uncertainties have decided not to proceed with her    been a tough, emotional journey and we are both absolutely shattered but real it is the right thing to do.

Need a break over Christmas and will then meet up with sw in the new year. Don't think I will be posting much for a wee while as need a break.

Hope all your journeys continue to go well and sending you all virtual    

love irish xx


----------



## Arrows

Irishlady, I'm so sorry. The right decision but a horrible one to have to make.

AFU, Homestudy finished!! Roll on Christmas and then just to wait till 11th Jan to read over the finished report and start looking at profiles!


----------



## elmoeleven

hi all,

well yesterday we were meant to go to this meeting up thing that happens just before prep course starts and i had noro virus from the ward at work and so couldn't go, am gutted. They have said we can still go on the course in jan, but feel really blue!

elmo


----------



## MrsYG

Irishlady - I'm so sorry, it must be heart wrenching... but you know in your heart if its the right decision.  hugs, don't beat yourself up , it just wasn't the right time. 

AFM - We had Panel this morning and we got a unanimous *YES* and they have recommended us for 1 or 2 children under the age of 3 1/2 yrs.      

Sorry, its a quick post but only just got into work, hello to everyone!!

xxxx


----------



## swallowtail

Many congrats MrsYG!!! Such amazing news xx


----------



## Donkey

Well done Mrs YG       
Irish Lady, what a hard decision, you're very strong


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Irishlady oh hun that must have been so hard   

MRs yg yeah congratulations hun

Well I am very happy and very proud to say our little girl came home yesterday afternoon to be with her mummy and daddy forever.    We had the review meeting yesterday at 10 and everyone was so pleased with how it had gone and the foster carers were amazing and really pushed for an early finish for us and they agreed so we left her fc house just after 4. It was really hard leaving them, they have all been so lovely to us and made us so welcome, seeing a wonderful family all in tears as we drove off was horrible and I don't think anything prepared us for that we both felt like we were stealing her    The main FC is coming to see Bubba in her home on Friday and then we have a couple of meet ups with them planned. They truely are amazing.


----------



## Poochie1111

Lots of news on here today.


Irish - that must have been such a tough decision to make. At the end of the say if it's not right for you then it's not right for the child. I hope you get some good news in the new year     


AAA - that's lovely news!!! You're a family at last! Yay!!!   
YG - Congratulations!  Everyone who gets approved gets some dancing bananas off me.  So here goes


----------



## Duckling

First Irish Lady   xx. It must have been so upsetting for you. Well done for making the right decision. The right lo is out there. Take time to look after yourself. x

Mrs YG _*CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! Fantastic news. x*_

Great news Arrows.

Elmo you poor thing! Really hope feeling better. xx

AAA - oh wow wow!! So lovely. Thinking of you all at home together  . Love hearing about it.

Well only 2 days left at work! FC sent a lovely photo last night of OUR  little boy. Have sent a Christmas present via sw. Want to shower him with presents though. Not sleeping at moment so hyper waiting! Have to say AAA will be telling dh about your home in 4 days! Know he'll tell me not to get my hopes up but ...

Hi everyone else, hope all ok.
Duckling x

Hello everyone


----------



## Donkey

AAA that's wonderful news     
xxx


----------



## oliver222

Got my letter from LA today advising that info evening is 17th Jan. I know I have a long long way to go but very excited as my journey is starting.


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi everyone.

Just got back from info session and have to wait a full year after treatment so it's a 6 month wait for us. Actually feel positive about this as gives us time to enjoy ourselves before the rollercoaster begins and it goves DH time to get his head around it all and to gain some childcare experience. Still feel absolutely sure this is the right path for us and bizarre thing was one of the social workers lives across the road!!!!

Anyway, if I don't get on before, have a lovely Christmas and I hope all the introductions are going well. Her's to 2012

Xxx


----------



## skyblu

AAA - I am so happy you have finally got the family you so wanted CONGTAULATIONS  

IRISHLADY - Sorry you had to make such a tough decision, your lo is out there just waiting for you. 

Cant remember everything that has happened since I last posted, so would like to say congrats to any one who has been approved and who have been matched.

Hello to new members 

AFM - have been a little awol recently, we have a panel date for 1st March2012 and potential matches are being looked at already.
I have some news on my op, I have been told it will happen before March but haven't got a date yet.
I have explained that we are going to panel in March and that we could be immediately matched and that I want my op in January so I have time to recover, so fingers crossed.

Hope you all have a great weekend
Skyblu.xx


----------



## racheypache13

Hi everyone, 
I've been lurking on here for a while but haven't posted much before. My husband and I have a BD aged 5 and we have had 2 visits for our home study. The social worker is being really positive and talking about panel in April/ May time. I change by the hour (minute!) Sometimes I'm so excited and looking at furniture and toys and then I suddenly become worried that something will go wrong! Is this normal? I think I need to calm down as we still have a long way to go but now we've started our home study it's becoming more real that it may happen!
So many lovely stories on here, thank you for sharing them.
Love Rache


----------



## watakerfuffle

Racheypachey - know exactly how you feel, we have had 3 visits and panel expected early April. It all seems to be going so well so much so one minute I am feeling so excited and the next panicking that something is bound to go wrong and ruin things! It all just means the world to us so I guess if something did go wrong we have so much to loose ( on the bright side though there is nothing I can think of to ruin things so I need to keep looking on positive side! 

Hi to everyone else hope your all well )


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Skyblu- thats fab hunny. Roll on March. Hope your feeling positive about things now. Glad op is gonna be sorted in time too xx

Racheypache13 and watakerfuffle- thinks its perfectly natural to feel that way. We were so worried all the way through, that we would do or say wrong thing lol. Good luck to you both xxx

Greeniebop- Is so so hard having to wait isn't it. We had a 6month wait from ivf and m/c. We were really gutted at first, but, we got house done (also worked out for best as we got flooded out) and had nights out together etc... Hope time passes quickly for ya x

Oliver- good luck

MrsYG- congratulations, the buzz is amazing isnt it. Hope you are matched really quickly x

Irishlady- sending massive hugs. Was the hardest thing we ever did turning down our first link. You have to do whats right for you hunny. Hope you ok xx

Hi arrows, duckling,donkey, Poochie, swallotail- hope your all ok xx

Always- hows things. You super busy xx

GG- Feel free to ask away or PM me if you want any info. Was hard having them with seperate f/c but you just get on with things don't you? Our eldest was very attached to her f/c. They were amazing and she had only had her book a week but because f/c read it to her everyday she was so relaxed with us. Even asked to come in the car with just us on our first outing on day 2 of intros. It was our youngest who everyone thought was harder to move. She was so attached to f/c, even called them nana and grandad. Cried when they were not with her. After intros she was fine and has surprised everyone how she has settled.
Are you moving them in seperately or together? Best of luck to you xx

Sweets xxx


----------



## KG81

Morning!
Our boy has been placed with us since last Monday, so just a week. We love him so much, he's amazing!
Nights are really hard though as he got very bad habits from f/c, but we are getting there. Hubby is amazing at night, and I do the early mornings, so it works well.
Still can't believe we've got him, It doesn't feel real  
Anyway, little one is due to have his breakfast, so have to go


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone!


No time for personals but very excited to share that as from today our little man is legally ours and we are a forever family!! 


Best xmas present ever!!!     


Will hopefully be back soon! 


panorama xx


----------



## Duckling

Oliver that's great news. I felt so much better once we started.
Panorama _*Congratulations!*_ What a fantastic Christmas present!!!
KG so lovely to hear from you - it sounds like you're doing fabulously. x
Hi Sweets, Watakerfuffle, Racheypache
Skyblu - Great News. So pleased for you that things are moving on.  
Greeniebop lovely to hear you feeling so positive

Last day at work tomorrow!  Still haven't got matching certificate though  . Have nagged already but think may have to do so again. Been buying loads! and went in lo's room earlier to look at all his clothes and toys.  Everyone been really nice since it went official at work and not too many awkward questions, which I was worried about. Am so happy and excited and only a little nervous at the moment. (Though am dreading spending so much time in a strangers house.) Everyone who's just started or is still waiting - I can't believe we're nearly there - there is an end to this - and it will feel right - so please stick at it - wishing you lots of luck xxx
Duckling xxx


----------



## libby29

Soooooo sorry i've been awol for so long but life is a blur at the min. Our little cutie has been with us 4 wks wednesday and we're still in shock that he's with us. He has settled in so well and we're so proud of him and how he's coped with everything. We've had a few problems with attachment due to his many moves but they were'nt to bad and he seems to have turned a corner over the last 2 wks. He's beginning to let himself cry which sounds odd but is a huge relief as he would never cry before even when hurt. He's progressed so well in lots of areas and seems to be regressing in a few which we've been told is really positive. So all in all, he is an absolute star and the bravest little boy we've ever met. Can't believe that we're finally getting the xmas we always dreamt of. There is going to be one seriously spoilt little boy in our house on the 25th   xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## snapdragon

Hello

Just introducing myself, attended prep group in November and have just been assigned a sw to start our homestudy in January.

Congratulations to those who have had children placed recently.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi firstly gonna apologise if I miss anyone!!

All the newbies the whole process is a worry so not worry about that!! Take it one step at a time and it does all come good in the end. Our little girl has been home for just over a week it is the most amazing, shattering, exciting, experience going.

Panorama Congratulations hun so happy for you and so quick. Have a wonderful xmas

Sky fingers crossed for your op its been a long time coming xx

Libby amazing sounds like your little man has an amazing mum and dad as well xx

Duckling yeah great feeling to finish work, hope you get your matching cert. I ain't gonna lie it is weird being in a strangers house but don't forget they are used to it. We were really lucky the whole family was amazing and made us feel more than welcome even on the Sunday morning when we arrived at 7 to bacon sandwiches and woke their youngest up getting Bubba out of bed.  Make sure you get plenty of sleep because it really is exhausting we heard it so many times and were like yeah ok thinking it surely can't be that bad but we were both pooped!! We did full on days from day 1 though so that might have had something to do with it. 

Well hope everyone has an amazing Christmas. 

AFM our world has changed so much in just under 2 weeks Bubba is amazing and everyday she is changing we have more and more words coming out she has got my dad well and truely wrapped around her little finger he is smitten. She said Grandad and that was it he melted some more, we popped round to pick some bits up the next day and he walked straight past me to the car and was cooing over her! It is the most amazing experience and we are both so in love with her and so proud and lucky to say we are her parents


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Oh aaa, your post has melted me! So so lovely to hear how things are going. Have a fabulous Christmas with your daughter...bet you never tire of hearing that word 

Greenie x


----------



## GERTIE179

Aww AAA your post made me smile so much
Congrats and enjoy your special christmas as a wee family


----------



## Cliec

Morning ladies, can I please join in?
DH and I will apply to adopt in February, so pleased we know where we hope to go. 
Enjoying the honeymoon again before rollercoaster starts.
Bit shaken as received flowers from my birth mother yesterday.... Happy she is in my circle, if not  fully in my life. 
Will read back and catch up.  
Cliec 
Merry Christmas


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all, 
Welcome to all the newcomers   

In case I don't get a chance before the big day I just wanted to wish all of you a wonderful Christmas and everything you wish for in 2012   

                     

To all those with littlies who recently found their way to their forever Mummy and Daddy, have a magical first family Christmas  , and to everyone else at various parts of the process, wishing you all the luck in the world and hoping 2012 is your year     

Lots of love to you all,

Anj x x x


----------



## Cazg2

H girls, 


Sorry for being AWOL, but with finishing school last week for the hols and frenzied present buying, it's been sooo busy! t's great to hear that so mnay of you have your forever family in time for Xmas, it really gives me hope! 


We had some great news today - our Prep Group is in Feb!!! It's been quite quick so far..... initial enquiry Aug, Open Eve Oct, Home Visit Nove, report came to us end of Nov and then got letter re Prep Group today - I'm quite surprised! I am really hoping that the process will be quick (ha ha) a hearing the news this week, it sounds as if the Gov want the process to become quicker. Hoping this will kick in!! 


Anyway, wishing you all a very happy Xmas and all the very best for 2012. I hope it brings us all the children we so wish for 


love Caroline xxx


----------



## Duckling

Hi Caz, great news. Our prep was Feb this year and here we are waiting to bring our little boy home. Like you say if the govt. do make these changes quickly it might be even sooner for you. Good Luck. x

*Merry Christmas* to you too Anj  and to your family. xx

Cliec welcome and good luck. Thankyou too for your post to me on the other thread, it was very reassuring.

Hi Gertie and Greeniebop 

Oh AAA what can I say? Your post made me feel so lovely. Huge congratulations to you and wishing your new little family a wonderful first Christmas together.  p.s. Will definitely listen to your sleep tip!  xx

Wishing all the lovely ladies on here a very *HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!* *xxx*
*Love from Duckling x*


----------



## galaxy girl

Happy Christmas everyone!! Can't wait for tomorrow with our two we are fostering..... We are tracking Santa on Norad as I write! 
GG


----------



## Poochie1111

Merry Christmas everyone.  Hope you all have a lovely time. May all your hopes and dreams come true in 2012!! 


  


Anj - love those festive trees!!


x


----------



## liveinhope

Wishing everyone a very merry Christmas!  Lets hope next year we will be at home with our children!


----------



## Arrows

I'm at home with my family -ten adults and my brother's one year old. I teased my bro that this may be the last year he can play violent computer games and watch higher rated films during the day with his daughter getting older and more children around (fingers crossed) next near -unfortunately he got cross instead and said he'd do what he liked for as long as he liked -violent games do not make kids go out and murder people. What an  . 
Oh well, something to worry about when the time comes I guess. He has very different ideas about raising a family.
Sorry for rant!

Happy Christmas to everyone. Hope you all have a lovely holiday or those at work are able to see something the good and something to be thankful for.


----------



## oliver222

Merry Christmas everyone. Have a lovely day.


----------



## skyblu

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, HOPE YOU HAD WONDERFULL CHRISTMAS.

HOPFULY THIS WILL BE THE LAST CHRISTMAS WITH NO CHILDREN FOR MANY OF US

AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR LITTLE ONES HAD A WONDERFUL DAY

CANT WAIT FOR 2012

SKYBLU.XX


----------



## Poochie1111

skyblu said:


> HOPFULY THIS WILL BE THE LAST CHRISTMAS WITH NO CHILDREN FOR MANY OF US
> 
> AND I HOPE ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR LITTLE ONES HAD A WONDERFUL DAY
> 
> CANT WAIT FOR 2012
> 
> SKYBLU.XX


I'll second that Skyblu!!!! Hope everyone is having a great time. x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone hope you all had amazing Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

To those of you who are waiting keep waiting it really is a truely amazing breath taking ending to what has felt like a life time of waiting!

Our first Christmas was amazing probably far too much for Bubba bless her she had really had enough so in the end we finished the present unwrapping and went for a nice walk to chill out. Today we have a new trick she is playing Boo it is sooooo funny, this little head appears from the arm of the sofa shouts boo and then just beams a huge smile when you say Boo back!! I honestly can't believe she has only been home for 2 weeks she feels like she has always been here!!


----------



## Betty-Boo

That is beautiful and gives us all hope - thank you for sharing..    


Mini xx


----------



## skyblu

AAA   Thanks for sharing your wonderful Chritmas  

Skyblu.xx


----------



## Kaytie

Wonderful news and Christmas wishes on here. Can I just add and share with you too?

We had our first family Christmas with our little man (9months). Like aaa said it is an amazing ending and I have to keep pinching myself. For years I've been reading about other people's good news on here, wondering if we'd ever get there. 7 years of TTC, 7 IVFs. Followed by 2 years from asking about adoption to being matched with our child. Heartbroken so many times and it just all melts away - amazing isn't it?

So congratulations to everyone, no matter what stage you're at just now. All the best for 2012.

Hugs Kaytie xxxxx


----------



## KG81

We had our boy two and a half week ago and it feels like we've been together for ever. Christmas was unreal!
Still can't believe how lucky we are to have him x x


----------



## MrsYG

Hello everyone, 

Its lovely to read about your first Christmas as families!  How wonderful.

To those still in the process or waiting for your LO, hang in there, and enjoy what could hopefully be your last NYE without your family!

Good luck to everyone in 2012!

xx


----------



## Duckling

So lovely to hear everyone's happy stories. Thankyou x
Meeting our little boy next week!!   So looking forward to it!! Fantastic fc sent us lots of gorgeous photos over Christmas. Can't wait for intros to be over and have him home.
Duckling xx


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hello everyone. So glad many of you had an amazing first Christmas with your children. 

Good luck for next week Duckling, how on earth are you managing to sleep through the excitement?!

Quick question. Have been reading through other postings on this site and there are a fair few of a negative flavour regarding depression and implications for adoption. It got me thinking. 7 years ago I found out that my then fiancé had been having an affair. Needless to say I dumped his ass but wad understandably distraught for a few weeks ANC was having trouble sleeping do went to Dr who prescribed me sleeping tablets for a week and a months supply of anti dipressants. I took them for 2 weeks but didn't like how they made me feel so came straight off them and was back on track...think they gave me a kick up the backside. I'm now worried they will hold this against me bug big even sure if I was even diagnosed with depression?! I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts... Some of the posts I read were by people who had been turned down do they were very negative and if got me worried. I was always going to disclose this to SW when we get to that stage and to he honest I was young and my pride took a battering. 

Anyway thanks in advance and I wish you all a very happy new year and hope that 2012 is the year when your dreams come true or get that little bit closer xxx


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Apologies for spelling mistakes...on phone!


----------



## oliver222

I am only at very start of process, but wouldnt think Sw would be concerned about a few weeks of tablets. I was prescribed anti depressants in Jan when I lost my baby at 4 months. I decided not to take them as I felt important to grieve and popping pills is just not for me. I was signed off work as well. I will tell Sw about this but dont think I was depressed. I was suffering from a loss and to not feel grief would not be normal. I think they will be more concerned about long term or reccurring issues. It is normal to feel sadness during the breakdown of a relationship or a death in family etc and I dont think that means person has suffered from depression.


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Sorry to hear that Oliver222.hope you are doing ok and wishing you all the best on this journey. X


----------



## Worththewait

hi everyone havent been on for a while but have been reading up on the last couple of months and i have to say there has been so much joy for so many of u that the tears have been tripping me    its like watching a film honestly!!!! i am so delighted for everyone that has been matched and had lo's placed over the xmas period.  duckling good luck for next week im sure ur beside urself, i dunno how u can function atm. greeniebop i think if ur honest with ur sw about ur period of upset and explain it all u'll be grand.  they dont like it when u try to hide things, i know lol 
we are nearly finished our home study just personal, employment and financial references and that to complete, though we were originally set for panel in april.  we are so excited now, but are of the opinion of 'what will be, will be'. 
cant wait to read all the updates over the next wee while.  its really great for the heart  
good luck everyone


----------



## skyblu

Duckling- best of luck for next week, I bet you cant wait.

Greeniebop - I am nearly at the end of our assesment and are going to panel in March, I was treated by a pyscoligist for my m/s and the endless pain of endo and it has not been a problem with my s/w and like you I was given medication for the depression which I did'nt take.
As long as you are honest from the start you will be fine, it is best you  tell the s/w than it coming up in your medical.

Skyblu.xx


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Thank you for your reassurance everyone. I feel really silly asking about it but I just got all tangled up in it all. 

Best run and protect my house from our cats, they are currently jumping up on the shelves and knocking over all the Christmas cards!!!! Crazy cats today...must be because it's windy outside x


----------



## Poochie1111

Lovely to hear all the new family Christmas stories.  Can't wait until until it's me.


Greeniebop - it's natural to be worried.  As everyone has said, tell them upfront about anything that is worrying you. It's often not an issue at all. I was so worried about telling that I had to have counselling after my last m/c. They actually saw it as a positive that I recognised that I was grieving and did something about it to help me get through it (as I didn't recognise it with the first m/c and was quite low for many months and struggled).  They are more interested in how you got through it e.g. used your support network, got counselling.


Duckling - good luck for next week.  It's like Christmas all over again, but a thousand times better!!!


----------



## Arrows

Just echoing Poochie.
I was worried about it -sought counselling after 1st m/c and have been off work for stress in the past. They didn't seem to have any problem with it and just want me to make it clear how i deal with stress now -i.e. support network, managing time, ways you relax and unwind

AFU,
Today is our 5th Wedding anniversary!
We get our PAR back on 11th Jan to sign and comment on before we go to panel in Feb but all going really, really quickly now. Just spent the whole day working on our Family Book -done it as a scrapbook with lots of questions and a game for the child(ren) to play. All that's left blank is the 'my room' page as we don't know the age or number of children we're going to get we'll fill it in when we have more details. 
SW is bringing us a profile to look at when she comes!
A busy week then as also trying to upgrade my driving license from Auto to Manual, so got driving test on 13th. All go in the Arrows household!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Happy New Year to everyone xx

Duckling GOOD LUCK next week not that you will need it just make sure you are getting plenty of sleep in before the intros start hun xx

Arrows good luck with the driving test sounds like it is all go xx

Well Bubba is very funny and making us both laugh so much. she is grows in confidence everyday and is just amazing.The FC is going to get a real shock when they see her in a couple of weeks.


----------



## Duckling

Thanks AAA. Can't wait! Rushing to do final jobs now. Your lo sounds fantastic  . Xx How much time are you leaving before she sees her FC again? Also how often are the sw's visiting you? I'm thinking ahead as usual!


Arrows good luck with the driving test. X


Hi Poochie and thanks for the good wishes. X


Skyblu thanks too. Will be coming on to follow your news. X


Hi Greeniebop and Worththewait. Hope you are good. Thanks for good lucks. X


Duckling xx


----------



## liveinhope

Happy New Year everyone, hope it brings all you dream of.

We are on track with our possible placement.  The LA are not considering anyone else for our 18m boy and are coming to visit us after New Year break.  Its all looking good, dare I hope that this dream might come true?!

Lots of love to all
xx


----------



## galaxy girl

Happy new Year everyone! I hope everyone has an amazing year ...we are hoping our two will come home in April....Fingers crossed!!


----------



## KG81

Liveinhope, our little boy is now 18months, it's a brilliant age. 
Let us know how it's going


----------



## liveinhope

KG81 I'll be coming to you for tips - maybe I'll PM you!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

LIH yeah fingers crossed xx

Duckling part of the agreement of Bubba coming home on the Tuesday was that the fc came and saw her on the Friday which he did and to be honest it was really clear she had moved on, she did get very unsettled later on and we had a very unsettled night with her that night. We are going to their house on the 13 as Bubba has a hospital appointment and it is not far from where they live and then they are hoping to come and see us some time in a couple of months so their children know where Bubba is living but I am not sure if they will or not. They were so lovely we are happy to do whatever. He was very insistant that he didn't want to do it too soon because he thinks he does more harm that good.  SW visits are every week at the moment we have our first LAC review on Thursday so if that goes well I think they change to every 2 weeks thankfully Bubba is not bothered by them. 

GG April is a long time hun? But sounds fab xx

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## panorama

Happy New Year everyone!!!! Hope 2012 brings lots more good news on this board!


We had a lovely xmas, was very surreal really, but LO had a ball opening presents and seeing all our family! Was really magical, never thought I'd see the day!  


AAA - sounds like she is doing great, very happy for you, our LO did too, isn't it amazing?   


GG - not long now! 


LIH - fingers crossed!!


Right going to go take the xmas decs down, sob  We should have our celebration hearing later this month and are off on our first hols to Centre Parcs next week to celebrate my DH's 40th! Then he goes back to work, double sob 


Love panorama xx


----------



## Dame Edna

AAA

You have posted your baby's name in your message!

I am not sure if you meant to as you refer to her as 'bubba' everywhere else  . I'd definately want someone to tell me if I had done this  

X


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## Anjelissa

Hi DE,

Happy New Year!!   
Well spotted!
I'm sure she'll be along soon to delete it.
I'm always worrying about doing that, not only with Nemo, but with children of friends I know on here, eg you!
I'm always so careful and as yet haven't done it, but it's so easily done isn't it!   

Loads of love to wriggle-bum   

Love Anj x


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi everyone.

Hope you have all had a lovely Christmas and new year. Back to work tomorrow so blitzing the house today. Had some sad news last night, DH's gran passed away. She has had dementia and went downhill very quickly but she is now at peace which I guess is a blessing. unfortunately she didn't make it to her birthday on Saturday but she's not suffering so for that we must be grateful.

We have also had some good news this morning. SW phone today afte our attending the nfo session and had a good chat. I explained that it won't be a year since our treatment until July but she was really positive. She wants to come and do our initial home visit anyway so we aren't delayed. I also explained that DH won't be classed as a non-smoker until July but again said that will be fine as won't start home study until then. Basically she is coming feb 16th and wants to get us on 4 day course in June! I can't believe it. After such a dark time it feels like there is some light.  So ad you can see very mixed emotions in our house today. 

Take care

Greenie x


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## Dame Edna

Hi Anj  

Happy New Year to you too!  Yes, it is easily done   , I am very aware of not mentioning my boy's name or any other special little people ....   !

I see AAA has edited now   

We must arrange a meet soon, Wriggler, Nemo and Fireman Sam can run riot together!  

Thank you card will be with you soon, just got back from visiting family over NeW Year so a bit delayed  

X


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## Duckling

Greeniebop sorry to hear your sad news. Excellent news from sw though.   
Panorama sounds such a lovely Christmas - something to look forward to.
Thanks for info AAA - really helpful. Our lo's FC has already been fantastic but want to keep a connection whilst  making sure our family bonds too, so really useful to hear what you're doing. Helpful to know sw visits once a week to begin with too. X   
Have a meeting with all sws tomorrow then meeting our little boy!!!!    Been very stressed today getting last minute jobs done. Cooked batches of baby shepherds pie for freezer, but they don't look very appetising! Told myself I'm just practising   . Wonder if I'll sleep tonight!   
Liveinhope sounds exciting! Let us know how you get on.
Hi and Happy New Year everyone - forgot to say on my last message!


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## Dame Edna

Gatecrashing this thread  

Duckling, you MUST sleep tonight as you will never sleep again  

Only kidding ...

Enjoy it  
X


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## panorama

Duckling - so excited for you for tomorrow!! Have a wonderful day, it is so special  And strangely enough the first thing I made and froze before meeting our LO was shepherds pie and he loved it!!   BTW I hardly slept all week of intros, was so exhausted but so hard to sleep  Enjoy!


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## LB125

Hi All,
I do not post very often (a bit shy) but wanted to say congratulations to all the newly approved adopters, newly matched adopters and those who have recently completed their family/ies. I do read often and love hearing about all yours journeys'. AAA your recent posts have read as magical and I wish you, your husband and little one all the best (as I do all the newly found families on herefor it is always a cause for celebration)
Well today my DH and I  went to panel, (wanted to post last night but was scared to jinx things,) I am very happy to announce we have now been 'approved' (all but the paperwork), it was apparently a unanimouse decision which lifted our spirits, as it meant all the hard work was worth it, (I liked the talking but not the writing  ). Now the REALLY hard part starts, waiting patiently for the right match for us - how long is a piece of string?
Moreover I wish to thank all the regular posters on this site, you are an inspiration to all who peruse this area and without your posts many people will struggle to decide to take this path and to understand it at times. I bow to your expereince and knowledge and of course your sheer determination to see this journey through, something that we should all be proud of (as this will stand us in good stead for the future).
Wishing you a fantatastic 2012, filled with lots of childrens laughter in your homes.
LB125


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## Dreams do come true

Hi!

I have been watching this board for a while, and have finally registered.

My dh (31) and I (27) were ttc for 4 years without success, we did Clomid and injections for 14 months and then decided invasive treatment wasnt the route for us. We have known for a while that adoption is for us, we enquired about a year ago but I'm not sure that we were 100% ready, now we are. We are super excited, and although we are aware of how difficult the process is going to be we know it's the right road for us, 2012 and 2013 are going to be good years.

The stories and messages on here are amazing it's lovely to be able to follow your adoption journeys. Good luck to everyone starting out and everyone going through the process, good luck to everyone waiting to be matched, and HUGE congratulations to everyone who have LOs placed, is so lovely and on a number of occassions I have cried happy tears for you all.

AFM we enquired about adoption in August, phoned around a nubmer of agencies, starting with LAs but found it difficult to find one will to assess us (our LA would not place in the area, other LAs would not place outside the area (due to travel times) unless we were considering large sibling groups, school age children or a disabled child) so after phoning approximately 15 agencies all over the country we found the agency (VA) that's right for us. We found them in September and after a telephone interview, two SW visited our home for an interview/informal chat. Following this they agreed to work with us and send us on prep course, the Feb course is full, so we are enrolled on to the May course, it's a while away but...the best things come to those who wait.

We have had some exposure to adoption, my neice was adopted when she was 8mths old, she's now 9 and is a wonderful little girl, I am hoping this will help us with our journey.

Waiting until May will allow DH and I to lose some weight and get fit, we are wondering whether to start a life book about us, although it's very soon - what do you think?

Well that's me introduced...I've babbled enough, I talk alot when I'm happy and excited (sorry).

Duckling, I hope the intros go well. I check this board every day for yours and AAA's updates

LB125, CONGRATULATIONS   Fantastic news. I can think of worst things to wait for, I hope it happens for you soon x

Ta ra for now

x x x x x


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## Duckling

Oh dear just lost a long post! 
Can't Wait - welcome!
LB - massive Congratulations! Xx

Just returned from our second day of meeting our little boy. He is gorgeous, happy, content and handsome.  Feel so so lucky. It is a strain learning to do things for the first time in someone else's house but his FC is so lovely and we are enjoying being with him so much. Thank you so much to my ff friends who have inspired, helped and reassured me. I am happy happy happy!  
Love from Duckling xxx


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## Dreams do come true

Duckling  Sounds like you have had an amazing day, so happy for you. Not sure if I am allowed to ask but how old is your LO? Congratulations x


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## Arrows

Duckling I'm so, so excited for you!!
LB, YAY!!!!!! 
Can't Wait, welcome to the board! Sounds like you're in a really good place to start down this road and I wish you every success. 

AFM,

Went to a seminar the other day called'the art of being brilliant'. LOL right?! It was actually really full. The aim was to be positive (like the happiest 2% of the population) rather than a 'mood-hoover' that sucks the life out of a room. He reckoned that if you can be positive for 4mins then you you go out with a much more positive outlook and therefore have a much better day with far less stress. Can't hurt right? He suggested starting with saying 'yay! I don't have a toothache today!'
So today after spending 20mins drying and straightening my hair this morning I do out into the wet and wind. I refilled the car with petrol, now cold wet and hair a disaster. Got back into the car and thought 'bloody hair, grrr. Can't breathe with this rotten cold, grrrrr.' and stopped in my tracks. Thought -I'm gonna try this. Okay, so not got a toothache. I have a warm comfy bed. I have enough food to eat. I have a husband. I completed the nine assignments due today on time, so don't need to ask for an extension! I get to see my lovely students again today! How beautiful was the sunrise yesterday.....
Seriously worked. I felt more upbeat by the minute and even though some aspects of work are not always my idea of fun and some people there are MAJOR mood-hoovers, it didn't matter!

Random but just really wanted to share as it's really helping me feel rather happy! Anyhow, off to see in-laws this weekend and hope that they like their pressies.


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## GERTIE179

Arrows your post made me truly smile x

Happy New Year to all u lovely girls 

AFM just waiting on PAR and hopefully at panel in Feb. finding this bit hard as not seen SW since Nov :-(
Got really used to the HS visits and our discussions.
Oh well better get used to the wait!
Luv G xox


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## Poppets Mammy

Hi guys

LB - Congratulations on being approved and what a lovely post 

Can't wait- hello and welcome. Reading your post was like reading one of my own! We have very similar circumstances and background. Wishing you all the best on your journey. You sound grounded and prepared for it, it takes me back to last spring when we started enquiring. What a great feeling it is when you eventually make a decision and stop treatment. It's refreshing to have someone else who also stopped treatment without moving onto IVF 1st. Don't know about you but I've had a lot of negativity and confusion (not from ppl on here mind) towards the fact that we didn't want to try IVF, ppl just don't understand do they?? I believe some ppl are just destined to adopt, that's how I like to look at it  

AAA - Glad things are going well for you and you had such a lovely Xmas, please keep us updated xxx

Duckling - so glad your enjoying you intros and they are going well 

Arrows - your post made me giggle and smile. I love stuff like this, it really does work. Thanks for sharing.


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## panorama

FH - if I had the power of hindsight ivf would not have been the path we would have chosen for so long, I guess we can't turn back time but you are right, some people are just meant to adopt  In fact after our LO we have decided to let our last frozen embie perish, has been hard coming to this decision but I think it's the right one.... I know a couple who just went and adopted without ivf and they adopted 2 lovely kids and then actually have 2 natural ones later, I know this may not happen to most people but they stuck to their beliefs and have not looked back 


Gertie - not long now, we went to panel feb last year 


Arrows - loving your positivity, I just know this year is your year 


Duckling - he sounds amazing 


Can'twait - welcome and good luck to you!!


Got our date for the celebration hearing at the end of this month, looking forward to it. My DH turned 40 today and LO spent all day playing with his '40' balloon  Why bother with toys? 


Love panorama xx


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## skyblu

Happy New Year ladies.

Arrows - your post made me smile and have a little giggle, been feeling rather shi*y today, so thank you. 

Duckling - so glad intros are going well 

LB - Congrats, let's hope you don't have to wait too long 

AAA - so pleased lo is settling well, told you ,you would be a good mummy 

Hello to all that I missed and hope you all have a wonderfull and happy 2012

AFM- still waiting for operation date.
S/W is preparing our PAR ready for March, but still see her weekly.

Skyblu.xxx


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## swallowtail

Hello all,
Sorry for the quick me question if I may...please can anyone reccomend a sort of beginners book on attachment as the recommendations I have seen so far looking through various threads look quite advanced for an intro? 
Many thanks, and lots of luck for 2013   

swallowtail xxx


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## snapdragon

Happy new year to all

Started home study this week meeting our sw for the first time. It went quite well and having 
previously been told our lack of support network was a problem our sw didn't think there was a problem, had quite a few more friends than I thought. Have got lots of homework!


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Happy Saturday everyone,

Hope you are keeping well.

Can't wait - welcome. We are at the beginning of our journey. Wishing you all the best.

AAA - glad you had a lovely Christmas. 

Duckling - glad your intros are going well. Bet you are absolutely loving it 

Panorama - my friends with kids all say they might as well just give them empty boxes rather than toys!!! Bet you can't wait for the celebration hearing, what a lovely day it will be fir you and your families.

Snapdragon - glad home visit went well. Have fun doing your homework!

Hello to everyone else. I hope that you are all keeping well and have had a good start to 2012.

The SW we spoke to seemed like my sort of person. To the point! The way she was talking about prep course in June and then straight into home visits if of course they think we are suitable, has really given me the spur to get fit so I have just done the Jennifer Ellison DVD. blimey, based on her doing that 4 times a week, I can see how she has lost all that weight. It was hard going but I loved doing it. 

As DH is out I am watching 'Take me out'!

Anyway, best get back to it. Take care my lovelies and hope you have a good week.

Greenie xxx


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## Betty-Boo

Dear all ... new home this way =========================>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=278728.0

 

Mini xxx


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