# having a big moan as i hurt so much



## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi ladies

Not sure how you all feel about this but i feel really upset and feel a leper in this country, l have had to put this in writing as i feel gutted about my week and ending on a real downer this weekend, having listened to the news all last week, the subjects that keep coming up is money given to pregnant ladies to make sure they eat the correct diet and more help with tax etc, l am sorry but i would like to see more money put in the pot for those older people trying to make ends meet with there pension, l heard a comment made while in the hairdressers last week from a young pregnant lady ( girl ) sorry and that comment was if i was given money i would spend it on new clothes for me and she just laughed well i just bit my tougue ( sorry carnt spell today ), at the weekend not feeling to good my dh took me shopping and then said we would eat out for lunch ( nice ) but while shopping i got hit 3 times in my legs via pushchairs coming at me, first time not a problem by the time it got to third time i was in pain and none yes none said sorry, its so rude but the worst was we went to a resturant and it was full and i mean full with children, i started to get upset as the waiter put us right in the middle,( not his fault ) i asked very quitely if he had a place which did not have as many children as i could not hear myself think and he turned round and said i surgest we go somewhere else as families bring us more money, i stood there in shock and just walked out this was a italian resturant not selling burgers or chips, i was so hurt i just wanted to dig a hole and hide, today i have woken up feeling completely deserted and my stomach is churning, l think what brought it home to me was before all the treatment and making that decision to stop l used to be so confident i would have asked for the manager and stood up for myself like on the plane,Please could someone tell me why are we not so important yes us who pay our taxes and National insurance that pays for family credits for these families that do not and try not to understand how we feel, they just walk away because thats the easy option,

sorry rant over l am now going to have a anger cry and then i will pick myself up as i normally do ( l no thats what is expected of me ref family ) and start looking though my tinted glasses that makes me accept i will never be a mother,.

sorry speak soon

bell xxxxx


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## TLZ (Feb 27, 2007)

Hi Bell

Firstly a big   life can really be hard sometimes ... I know!

Sometimes I too feel that there is no escape from all the pro-family stuff that is going on out there and how we are all meant to bend over backwards to accomodate families and their needs - it's easy to feel that your own needs are not being met or even neglected  

My BF has just had her 4th baby and I thought I was ok but today I am struggling too. She wanted me to visit in the hospital but I just couldn't do it and went into self-preservation mode, said I was busy and that I'd pop over sometime next week .... ..
at the moment I'm dreading hearing "all about it" and not sure if I can cope with their brimming cup of happiness (my BF is not the most sensitive of souls, I know she loves me but sometimes she just doesn't think!!)

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and please, if you can, take some time out to be nice to yourself and allow yourself to "feel" those feelings, it is a natural part of trying to come to terms and move on - tough but natural !

I probably haven't helped much but I genuineley care  

Take care

TLZ xx


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## Yamoona (Nov 7, 2005)

Sorry you are feeling so down Bell. I'm afraid most people only see what is in front of them which means little comprehension of how we feel amongst society. It is tough and different things get us in different ways. The man in the restaurant was not worthy of your custom, he showed his true greedy personality, he doesn't care about children, just the customers that pay the most. Hardly a sensitive person. Try thinking of what makes you smile/happy and hopefully you will attract more of this. xx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Oh Bell - I get sick of it too! So sorry it made you feel down. You need a big [[[[[bearhug]]]]] Some people are oblivious to others - and they don't even know how lucky they are. 
I say we need to organise a 'childlessness awareness day' - we could do a mass sit-in in Mothercare (let em try and steer their baby buggies round that!) We have rights, too!
Bernie xxx


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## emmag (Mar 11, 2007)

That stupid waiter - how did he know you weren't going to sit there and guzzle champagne and then leave him a giant tip?  Very often, myself and DH will walk into a restaurant, discover that it's full of noisy kids, declare "I think we've made a terrible mistake" and leave.


xxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Oh Bell, what a day you had, what an onslaught coming at you from all angles!

That daft waiter wants to hear himself - where does he get off talking to you like that?! I'm glad you got up and left - make sure you boycott his place and tell others how awful it is! 

Understand how lonely it can feel when you are not part of a family unit and everywhere you look others seem to be *sigh* and things like this bug me too - like I'm always the one who is expected to take the [email protected] hours at work as I don't have kids - I remind my colleagues that I do however, have a *life* and a DH thank you very much!

Sending you massive hugs honey,  don't let 'em grind you down (easier said than done, I know)! It sucks!

Love
Emcee xxx


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## bell (May 17, 2005)

Hi Ladies

thankyou very much for your replies, had a real bad day, and last wk and weekend just pushed me over the edge,l also found myself saying next time we shop late at night or in the week days, Why l have done nothing wrong, but to keep sane at the mo i think it would be a good idea,l am so sorry for my rant but when something hurtsa so bad and you feel like you dont count because you have no children, i dont no some people talk to me and think its choice ( why do they always asume that ) then when you say its not choice they walk away as if they dont want to talk to you, l am not after sympathy l would just like a nice grown up conversation with someone without mentioning children, or i get oh sorry did not mean to talk about children you have none sorry ( why ) l have feelings like everyone else, in the office i feel uncomfortable as all they do is talk ( my child did this and mine is better at this ) maybe if had children i probably would be the same,

l think sometimes i give myself a hard time and have found that i have started to think to much, l get very paranoid as well never used to be, i also think of the worst things what will we do when we are old, we seem to be whats the point have no one to leave it 
to,lets go interest only on the morgage and ladies to be honest it frightens me, 

god l am moaning again l am normally a really funny mad person who used to get drunk and dance on tables and join everyone in my fun and now i just seem to moan and cry and feel crap,  

l am getting better just things are not as easy to ignore as others at the moment, also wrong time of month for me, why do us ladies have such a hard time,

bell xxxxxxxx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

In the words of REM 'Everybody hurts… sometimes' Sorry you are hurting. Those women with buggies, that waiter, those BORING people at work - they just aren't worth it! But don't give yourself a hard time about feeling down – you are human and this stuff hurts! 
((((((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))))))))))
Bernie xxx


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