# Nice piece about coming to the idea of DE



## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/life_topics/item.php?seeresults=1&uniqueid=5902&categoryid=495&

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that Fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## ElleJay (Sep 4, 2005)

Thanks for that drownedgirl - rang a bell with me, though I haven't managed to get to the happy ending yet.

Wonder if Olivia has read it since she thinks all us abroadies using donor eggs are so irresponsible.........

LesleyJ


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## Jennifer (Jul 22, 2004)

Lesley !

Thanks for posting that site link - I have printed it to keep


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## abbyabroad (Mar 15, 2005)

Thanks for the link...it makes a lot of sense of where my head's at.


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## sabina2 (Jun 5, 2004)

tx for that - i think i the article was quite succinct and accurate as regards emotions and final acceptance of using donor egg.  although i was quite prepared to adopt (dh wasn't and hence compromise with donor egg) - i do feel a little bit 'funny' about it still.  i wonder if my body is just a vessel.  i know consciously this is a bit silly.  also i still feel as though i haven't really done it myself and that my friends who have achieved genetic pregnancies are somehow more successful??!!!!  must wipe those negative thoughts away!!!!!  however, having said that i am utterly thrilled to be pregnant and v v grateful to my donor for giving us this opportunity.


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## Gen (Dec 9, 2004)

Wow thanks for posting this link.

I'ts given me something to think about

Gen x


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## daisyg (Jan 7, 2004)

Just a personal view on this because it worries me.  The article is very good in terms of addressing the parents' feelings but does nothing to alleviate or address the potential conflict of a child not having any information about his/her genetic inheritance.

This is something that does still concern me and worry me.  I am so delighted and grateful for my babies but think every day about where they came from and whether it will upset them in the future to have no information about their genetic donors (I am single and did donor embryo).

To be fair to Olivia, I don't think this article addresses the aspect she might be concerned about, which is having info. about donors.  BUT where we disagree is that for so many women, anonymous DE is the only option thanks to the awful state of egg and sperm donation in the UK.  In this regard I think we disagree strongly.  I personally am so grateful that the option of going to Spain was open to me.

This is such a complicated issue.  

Wishing everyone the very best of luck.

Daisy
xx


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## Tweeter (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi all!!

I am new to this board having only just found it. I have decided to have ED after trying with my own eggs once. Everything went really well and i had 2 lovely embies but according to our consultant at ET time, we were wasting our time because of my age!!! I wish they had said that before they took our money!!! With ED I do believe that without us, the little embies wouldn't even exist and so that makes them extra special. If we are lucky enough to become pregnant then i doubt that i will say in the future how they were made. He/she will be ours and loved very much, that is all, in my opinion, he/she will need to know. I too am very grateful to have the opportunity from another country to fulfil our dream. Good luck to all of us.

Tweet x


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## roze (Mar 20, 2004)

Despite the criticism levied at Olivia, the Donor Conception Network does offer some useful advice on how and when to tell, and issues that may crop up with 'donor conceived children'. There is also access to a lot of research on how DC children felt about things. However there is no way of getting around the fact that a lot of information will not be there.  I also thought about this long and hard, and in the end decided that we simply did not have the answers nor could we predict how the child would feel and how we would deal with it.  For us the child will be loved immensely and we would try and foster a sense of self esteem ,confidence and security that would possibly help the child deal with any issues that arise for them.  There will probably be some, as there would be with any child, especially as they grow into adults and want to explore their identity. The question is whether this will or won;t be an issue for the child. 

We are however of the ' telling' school of thought so will one day work out the best way and time to do this. 

I am compiling a record of all my appointments , hospital treatments, scans etc, to try and give the child some sense of how long and hard we tried to have her/him, so that one day, as a young adult, they may come to realise how much they were wanted and even if they feel distaste for their mode of conception, they may come to understand how this came about.

The counsellor we saw at the Lister was very good in outlining that what was normal and standard in families is no longer so, ie more single parents, step parents, IVF and donor conceived children, that DC children are no longer a rareity.  There is also the issue and benefit of peer support so that the child realises that their mode of conception is quite common and therefore they are not alone.

Personally I think that if the parents make it a problem, then it will become a problem for the child. We don't intend to do that.


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