# How big a part do you think stress plays with fertility?



## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

I'm due to have my third (and in all likelihood last) attemt at DE IVF soon - my next cycle will start in about 3 days.

But I'm having the most hellish time at work - working 12 hour days, 6 days a week - can't sleep, feel completely frazzled and very unhealthy. I'm getting contstant headaches and feel totally stressed out and anxious the whole time. 

Is there any point in me going ahead? There isn't really is there?


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## alexine (Jun 8, 2010)

Oooo Violet a tough one. Stress does effect your hormones in your body big style....is there anything you can do to chill out a little? Meditation, walking....I did the Zita west cd, and for all it's feather waving really helped me stay calm.
Good luck with your tx      
xxA


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

Oh Violet    so sorry that you are having such a horrible time at the moment.  

I don't know how much stress really affect chances of success (although with both my BFPs I had reduced my stress levels a lot), I think what is more important is that you are able to look back at any attempt and feel that you gave it your best shot, especially this one if it is likely to be your last.  It sounds like you are thinking of cancelling this cycle, what would be your next steps if you did?

Thinking of you and sending lots of   

Some1

xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

hmm, a tough one, I think a bit of stress does no harm at all - any IVF cycle is stressful in itself and yet it does work, so some element of stress is obviously not going to get in the way
however, if you're not sleeping/eating well, are unhealthy/unfit, and generally finding it really tough, then I would maybe postpone to get yourself into better shape and give yourself the best chance of success
The one beauty of DE is that another few months won't be a real issue (other than the frustration of having to wait, but from a success point of view I mean) and then you can get yourself into tip top condition first

I don't know if it really did make a difference or if my last attempt was always going to be the one which worked, but I do know I was fitter, healthier and happier in myself than I had been the entire 3yrs of ttc - thanks to counselling, exercise routine, healthy eating etc etc 
As I say, might have been nothing, but at least I could have looked back and said I had done absolutely everything I possibly could for it to succeed

So I think I would prob postpone and use the next couple of months to get things back on track
If this situation with work does not have a clear end date (ie it's a short term project or something) then you need to do something about it - working 12hr days 6 days a week is not sustainable...and you have to put yourself first   

good luck and take care of yourself
Suitcase
x


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

thanks everyone - I think I need to postpone and try and get the work situation under control. 

wow Suity - still get goosebumps when I see your ticker - for twins you're pretty much half way home aren't you. Still makes me smile xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

- one of the best things I ever did was change jobs (same company but different department) - from 12 hour days, working weekends, travelling all over the world all the time, I went to 9-5, travel once a month if that, and no weekends....and don't tell my current boss but I could do this job in 4 days a week for sure (which is what I intend to do after mat leave!)
So def get the work thing sorted out and then you'll be ready to go   

I honestly NEVER thought I'd say this (and used to get a bit p***ed off when people did so feel free to ignore me!) but if it worked for me, it can work for you too

Wishing you the very best of luck when you are ready to try again
Suitcase
x

PS Yes, pretty much half way - will be quite exciting to start counting down instead of up!!


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

It is a hard thing to decided but i agree with suity- also if you read Alice Domar's mind and body which some ivf clinics run is all about reducing stress and anxiety to aid cycles working xx


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## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

Hmm tough one indeed.  All the books say you need to reduce stress etc but women get pregnant in, and as a result of, the most stressful situations you can think of - I don't have to list them.

I'm dubious - i was fairly stressed, as in under pressure, and very busy and a little anxious when I got pregnant.  However, I wasn't unhappy.  I think that's the difference. Is it stress or is it unhappiness?  I think the body can tell.

I was also unfit and overweight but do agree with Suity 100 pc that it's best to get as fit as possible as the toll pregnancy and then looking after a baby takes on your mind and body is enormous.  I wish I'd lost some weight and taken more exercise before hand.

That said, I don't think it will stop you getting pregnant, it's just a best case scenario.

I think a lot of the looking after yourself physically and mentally is about you feeling you've done all you can and contributed to success.  The physicians probably won't admit that to you.

If you are feeling really unwell as a result of the job, you may want to postpone to give yourself the best chance.  If it doesn't work you'll only blame your circumstances and feel resentful.  You need to ditch that horrid job too!  

RLxx


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

I'm going to ring the consultant and postpone until next year. 

Agree - the job needs to go to - think that blinding moment of clarity came on Friday night when my boss called me at home 1am to check whether I'd done something...!


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

1 am !! that is crazy behaviour Violet.

Glad that you are happy with your decision.

L x


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## alexine (Jun 8, 2010)

I'm with JJ1 that is crazy behavior! Sounds like making a few changes and waiting til the new year is a good plan. Sending you lost of     
xxA


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

def get rid of the job - no boss has a right to do that...

good luck, hope you get things sorted soon and feel a lot more relaxed
Suitcase
x


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## Wakey (Aug 29, 2010)

Good luck.  I reckon you've made the right decision there.  

When I first started treatment (DI) I was in a really stressful management position.  Twice my cycle had to be cancelled because my hormone levels were all over the place and I didn't ovulate - both those times were when I was really really stressed - by both the treatment and through work.  I remember asking one of the nurses when the cycle was cancelled the second time if stress played any part and she said that although there was no scientific evidence to prove this, that anecdotally she felt it played a part.  I actually reached burn-out point and ended up having a substantial amount of time off work before finally giving in and accepting that for my own health, and the chance of having a baby, that I would need to reduce my workload. I was lucky to be able to take a reduction in role.  Unfortunately, several DIs and one IVF cycle later, I've still not managed to get pregnant, but at least I feel that I am giving it the best chance now.

Hope it all works out OK for you.


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

I sat here with an open mouth when I read about your boss calling you at 1am for that   . You so need a new job!!!!

 
bingbong x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1325451/Hundred-50-plus-mothers-year-IVF-rules-relaxed.html

I found this in the side of the article it says stress aids IVF !!

L x

/links


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## wishingforanangel (Feb 6, 2009)

Violet 

glad you decided to wait because crazy bosses that call you at 1 am really doesn't help. hope you find a way to reduce your schedule or find a way to reduce your stress if you aren't able to change jobs.


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Violet


I was the deputy manager of a care home, after my natural ectopic i HAD to decide to change something in my life.  Life was such a struggle that i just could not continue, i stepped down and am now a support worker, i got offered a senior job, but said no.  I did find it hard excepting that infertility has robbed me of so much and not it was robbing me of my career.  But since starting treatment i have realised that i would never have coped esp after my misscarriage.  So i def did the right thing.


Personally i think its really important get your life in order before you start treatment, reduce any stresses that you can control.  There for it should help you control your stress levels during treatment and of course allow you to focus.  We have now used up all our nhs funding 2x icsi and 1xfet.  From now on treatment has to be paid for so we have taken to take some time out.  But not only because of the financial reasons but also because we have finally decided to do our house up.  This was always a huge stress for us, and since trying for a baby and realising it was not going to be easy we have struggled big time with the motervation.  But, but i wish we had done this before as i know that i would have felt a lot less over whelmed during our previous treatments.  What i am trying to say is that treatment is a big thing, and i think its ok to put it first.  Eg get everything else in your life sorted so that you can concentrate on it.  Sorry a lot of waffle, but i hope you know what i mean.


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## Lillyan (Jan 14, 2009)

Violet I've just postponed my cycle by 6 weeks because of stress levels. There's no doubt that stress can impact on fertility. The girls are right in saying that a little stress is ok, and can even help with your sense of well-being coz you feel alert and buzzing, but too much stress is not good. And your boss calling you at 1am is outrageous. I used to have a job like that too and the funny thing is you come to think of it as normal, but it's not. The thing is with stress is that it causes an increase in adrenal hormones - all your hormones are linked - the stress hormones, the sleep/waking hormones, hormones that control your blood sugar levels, and your sex / reproductive hormones - an imbalance in one will kick the others out of sync. That's why alot of fertility diet books tell you to cut out sugar from your diet and to try to stay relaxed. 

I can only afford to do one cycle, and because I've so much on at the moment and will have for the next few weeks i just got worried that my stress levels would prevent the cycle from working. I was due to start the microflare IVF protocol on 25 Nov and I just felt like I was squeezing it in between everything else that's going on. I have enough problems as it is with endo, auto-immune issues and poor ovarian reserve besides adding stress into the mix    So I decided to wait till things have settled down, and in the post-christmas calm of january I'll start my cycle. I've started doing a fertility yoga dvd routine each morning and that's helping me relax and stay focused. So hang in there hon, try to find a better job for yourself and give yourself the absolute best chance of this working for you


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