# Starting out in surrogacy



## Seratobyflynn (Jun 1, 2011)

Hi there - I have had a read through some of the topics but I'm a bit confused about where the best place to start looking into surrogacy. 

We went to our clinic today to talk about ivf treatment for me but our specialist basically said the chances of it working are so slim he doesn't recommend going ahead. I have a small womb and no ovaries. 

In all honesty we thought this was the best option a few years back when we went to our clinic to find out about it our consultant at the time convinced us to abandon surrogacy but still I feel it's best for us. 

Any info on starting out in surrogacy would be well appreciated. I am trying to get an appointment with Wessex fertility in Hampshire too. 

Thanks in advance for any info!


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi

I really hope surrogacy works for you.

You might want to contact one of the UK not-for-profit surrogacy oragnisations (like Surrogacy UK or COTS) for more information.

There's also lots of information to get you started on my practice's website - http://www.porterdodsonfertility.com/surrogacy-law/

I hope this helps a little and best of luck.

Louisa


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## leesax (Aug 26, 2012)

Hi
As well as agencies you could join some ******** groups or other forums and chat to other IPs and surrogates.

I am an IP who is heading to our clinic for a FET with our surrogate after our previous attempt unfortunately ended in M/C. Please feel free to PM me if you would like to chat more.

xx


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## Seratobyflynn (Jun 1, 2011)

Thanks for replies!

LouGhevaert thanks for that I hope it works too - I will have a looksy on your site with my husband later and see what the others have to offer too!

leesax - I tried looking on ******** after looking on here but couldn't see which was best! Sorry to hear about your journey so far and I hope surrogacy works for you - how did you start out? Our doctor said he can't help in starting in surrogacy as its not his area. We are thinking that it may take a while to get the money together any way, we weren't prepared for too much money spent as we had planned on the egg donor route which our consultant had said would be paid for by the NHS (a fact that later turned out he had exaggerated!) Phew - its all a palava!


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## leesax (Aug 26, 2012)

Seratobyflynn said:


> Thanks for replies!
> 
> LouGhevaert thanks for that I hope it works too - I will have a looksy on your site with my husband later and see what the others have to offer too!
> 
> leesax - I tried looking on ******** after looking on here but couldn't see which was best! Sorry to hear about your journey so far and I hope surrogacy works for you - how did you start out? Our doctor said he can't help in starting in surrogacy as its not his area. We are thinking that it may take a while to get the money together any way, we weren't prepared for too much money spent as we had planned on the egg donor route which our consultant had said would be paid for by the NHS (a fact that later turned out he had exaggerated!) Phew - its all a palava!


You won't be able to find them on there as they are secret. Add me on ** and we can have a chat and I can talk to admin on the group about adding you. 

 ******** ID removed for privacy reasons. Please use the PM system to share this information


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## napy (Jun 17, 2011)

Seratobyflynn said:


> In all honesty we thought this was the best option a few years back when we went to our clinic to find out about it our consultant at the time convinced us to abandon surrogacy but still I feel it's best for us.


That's great that you haven't let someone from a clinic sway you into not pursuing surrogacy (hopefully this is the first step for you!). We were told the same thing six years ago and we now have two beautiful little girls. One was carried by an surrogate mother in the US (she is 3 now) and one was carried by a Ukrainian surrogate mother and she is almost four months old. This site is great for learning about all your options for surrogacy. I am so glad we didn't let that doctor six years ago crush our dreams. Surrogacy is not an easy road to take, but well worth it in the end!


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

I am also looking into surrogacy.
After some terrible results at my recent lap and dye I am dreading the review appointment tomorrow morning.
My eggs have always been brilliant quality they just never stick.
What kind of costs are involved with surrogacy?
My main fear is that the surrogate would change her mind and the surrogacy laws in the UK not being very supportive towards biological parents


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## napy (Jun 17, 2011)

Saila, I understand your fears about the surrogate mother changing her mind, but after having two babies from surrogate mothers, I have come to understand that surrogate mothers are not doing this to keep the baby.  They have other motives, including financial, for wanting to carry a child for another couple. Before we started out on our journey to have children through surrogacy we had the same fear as you did and decided that we would pick an experienced surrogate mother who had demonstrated that she was able to hand the baby over to the parents.  Looking back, this sort of thinking seems silly now after talking to many surrogate mothers and coming to an understanding that they are not doing this to keep the child. They are doing this to help someone out and for financial reasons.  Surrogate mothers would just have their own child if they wanted to keep the baby!  I think instances where the surrogate mother wants to keep the baby are very rare with gestastional surrogacy where the surrogate mother is not related to the baby at all.


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi Saila

Legally speaking surrogacy contracts are not contractually binding documents as a matter of UK public policy As a result surrogacy arrangements are informal arrangements based on trust.

That said, there are very few published legal cases dealing with situations where a UK surrogate mother has changed her mind and wanted to keep the baby (which suggests that the vast majority are honoured). If a surrogate did have a change of heart, the intended parents could make an application to court for a residence order to assume care of their baby and/or other legal status. The English court would then look at matters very carefully and make a decision in the best interests of the child. Although the legal judgments have gone both ways on this issue, the English court has awarded care to intended parents in one case. There's more information about this on my practice's website which you may find helpful - http://www.porterdodsonfertility.com/surrogacy-law/surrogacy-disputes/.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Louisa


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

Thank you both for your lovely helpful posts
Napy: did you have surrogacy in the UK?


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## napy (Jun 17, 2011)

No, we did our first surrogacy in the US (we are US citizens living in the US), and our second one in Ukraine.  Best of luck to you!


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