# Possibly a stupid question re form filling



## star78 (Nov 24, 2011)

Okay this may be a silly question (apologies), but we had a lots of questionnaire type forms today following the online self referral we made to a clinic last week.

My partner is planning to be the biological parent and to carry any children, so I will have no biological involvement in the process. On the forms we have to fill out there are sections for Female planning to have treatment (ie my wife) and Female partner (ie me).

There are a lot of questions regarding my health, all yes/no answers. I just wanted to check that I won't have to have any tests done such as smear tests etc? I'm hugely phobic of doctors and am just getting in a state worrying that they'll want to poke and prod me  

Sorry if people think this is a silly question, I just want to put my mind at rest. Thanks.


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

My partner didn't have anything done but had to disclose medical info too. She wasn't happy about it, said it wasn't their business. I asked my donation coordinator but she didn't get back to me and in the end, DW agreed to just fill it I anyway. The only reason I can think of for them asking is to save time in the future if you decide to have a go as well. 

You won't be tested yourself, but if you do find out why they need the info, I'd be interested to hear.


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## Monkey07 (Jul 8, 2012)

My DW had to fill in a basic medical questionnaire as well although she isn't carrying and doesn't ever want to, we didn't really question it to be honest  good luck with everything xx


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## star78 (Nov 24, 2011)

incywincy said:


> My partner didn't have anything done but had to disclose medical info too. She wasn't happy about it, said it wasn't their business. I asked my donation coordinator but she didn't get back to me and in the end, DW agreed to just fill it I anyway. The only reason I can think of for them asking is to save time in the future if you decide to have a go as well.
> 
> You won't be tested yourself, but if you do find out why they need the info, I'd be interested to hear.


Thanks for putting my mind at rest. I feel the same as your partner, I'm not happy about giving the information and will ask them why they need it when we have a face to face appointment.


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## anicca79 (Sep 29, 2012)

This surprises me as my wife has no intention of ever carrying either. It's none of their business if you ask me and I find it a little offensive to be honest! If they asked if your partner ever intended to carry or made it optional that would be ok but not as mandatory. If it was the same form hetrosexuals fill in then that might at least make sense but if they've specifically asked about your female partner then that's just plain intrusive!


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

That's pretty much what my other half thought.  They asked about her previous births, smoking & drinking habits, things like that.  I think the same - if they asked if there's a chance she'd like to try later then you could state 'no way Jose!' and not have to fill it in.


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## star78 (Nov 24, 2011)

I'm so glad I'm not alone in the way I feel, I'm glad I asked the question now  When I saw all the questions being asked it did make me wonder if we'd picked the right clinic. Some of the literature they sent seemed much more geared towards a hetrosexual couple and kind of made me think that they should have different sets of literature one for hetrosexual couples and one for same sex couples.

Still I'm trying not to be too picky or judgemental, so I guess I'll have to wait and see what the staff are like when we get our first face to face appointment.


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

I've found them all lovely face to face and speaking to them on the phone.  Sometimes the paperwork end of things isn't great.  I didn't get a few important forms at the right point, have had to chase for appointments.  But when I have been there (3 times now) all of the staff, from reception staff to coordinators, nurses and the consultant have been very good.


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## single.mummy (Mar 12, 2009)

Hi
It does seem strange and I think that it is the same across all the clinics, I think it is due to HFEA regulations (though don't quote me on it) and I think they get around it saying that it is a "welfare of child" issue. Now I cannot remember what the exact questions on the forms we filled in were but it should not get any more intrusive. While you are not going to be carrying the child/ren you will be involved in their lives going forward and the clinics have a responsibility to ensure that any child is born into a safe family unit.


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## incywincy (Nov 13, 2011)

The welfare of the child forms are okay, they ask about relevant things like criminal convictions relating to children etc.  But to be asked about things like your menstrual cycle, how many cigarettes you smoke per day, if you've ever had an STI, things like that, aren't necessary if you're not having treatment.  My clinic requested all the birth dates of my partner's children, and at what stage of gestation they were born.


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## BecsW (Jun 14, 2009)

Our clinic were absolutely lovely but their forms were a joke, they also said 'husband' on them which I crossed out and wrote 'partner' on and asked about male questions. I asked if DW needed to fill them in and they weren't too sure. They took blood from her to test for Hep B and C and HIV but did not ask her medical history. I think the personnel are very good but all these forms and protocols need to be looked at to see what is and isn't relevant to our population,
Becs xx


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