# 42 & about embark on ttc with a known donor



## blondedolphin (May 13, 2012)

Hi 
I've just found this site and whilst the acronyms and abbreviations are a little puzzling (amh?) its great to know there's other people going through the same thing.
I'm 42 and after a number of failed relationships, last bloke was lovely but had a vasectomy and a mad ex wife, I have decided to try and have a baby by myself with the hope that I'm not past it. 
I have a lovely gay friend who has agreed to be a donor. I've given him a home sperm test kit and he'll have std checks etc.
I have had hormone tests to check I'm not menopausal and they were fine. My GP doesn't do the day 3 fsh tests so I had a day 21 progesterone test which confirmed ovulation and I've got some home ovulation test kits and the last one I did gave a positive result.
I'm going to start trying in my next cycle with a home insemination kit.
I've been having regular acupuncture, I'm taking 250mg Coenzyme Q10, multivitamin with folic acid and some chinese herbs from the acupunturist. I'm trying to have a healthy diet but that area needs improving, I think I need to cut out sugar, alcohol and caffeine, cutting my one cup of fresh coffee a day is proving difficult.
I've never had any health problems but my cycle is a bit irregular.
Sorry its a bit of a long post but I'd love to hear from other single women ttc either with a known donor or otherwise and also advice about preconception care etc. 
thanks


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

just wanted to say hello and welcome   
amh is anti-muellerian hormone  - it's a test you can do to see how large your egg reserve is - useful if you are going to do IVF but less so for ttc naturally as it only gives an indication of the quantity of eggs you have left and not the quality
if you know you are ovulating you prob don't need this test

don't think we have many (if any) singlies ttc with a known donor at the moment, most are having IUI or IVF, but am sure others will be along to share their experiences soon and in the meantime, all the very best to you   

Suitcase
x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi I have a known donor and we started 7 years ago with hone inseams but turned to the clinic route. Wishing you luck.


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## Elle72 (Mar 13, 2012)

Hi, I am doing IVF but as preconception am also taking fresh royal jelly that apparently is very good for you and your eggs  I am trying all I can to try and have best quality eggs I can.
Good luck with everything xxx


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

Good luck blondedolphin.

My advice (as a veteran of these parts!) is to not get too hung up on eating right and taking vitamins etc. Take Folic Acid but I seriously wouldn't bother with anything else and I also wouldn't give up caffeine either. A couple of cups of tea or coffee won't make any difference - if it did then nobody in Italy, Brazil, America would ever get pregnant.

Once you get pregnant then, yes, take good care of what you eat and drink but, until then, I would just carry on as normal.


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## blondedolphin (May 13, 2012)

Thanks everyone for the advice and comments. 
Just had my 'prepare to conceive' hypnosis  CD from amazon. It was delivered to my next door neighbour by accident and her daughter opened it! So I guess she won't be too surprised if get pregnant. Not sure what the Christians on the other side will make of it.


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## Bethany915 (Aug 1, 2010)

Hi Blonde Dolphin

I conceived my LO [little one] with a known donor at the age of 39 on the 4th attempt (in fact, got pregnant on the first attempt, but had an M/C [mis-carriage] at 11 weeks, then pregnant again with LO after 3 more tries). However, I have been trying for a 2nd child with same known donor for 2.5 years now (had one M/C last year and a couple of positive preg tests this year which quickly came to nothing) so I am now switching to donor embryos.

I had just turned 42 when we started trying for no. 2. I have always ovulated, always had good Day 21 progesterone, but my FSH in now really high and my AMH is almost non-existent. Like Suitcase says, AMH relates to quantity not quality of remaining eggs - but my understanding is that when you are in your 40s it's a numbers game to come up with an egg which does not have chromosomal abnormalities and if you don't have many eggs for your body to "choose" from, the chance of getting a good one on any given month is less. So (slightly different to Suitcase's advice - Suity, hope you don't mind ) - I would advise that you do try to get a day 3 FSH and/or AMH (you would have to go privately for an AMH - mine was about £120 but I think there are places that will do it for about £80, depending where you live). If that comes back looking fine, then you have a decent chance of success by AI; if it doesn't, you might want to adjust your expectations / look into other options.

I hope that is not being unduly pessimistic - it's just I know that the chances of an "average woman" getting pregnant in her 40s with her own eggs are not the best, sadly . (I'm not saying you are an "average woman"! Hopefully you will be lucky...)

Anyway, good luck with it and let me know if you need tips for the AI itself (alternatively, have a look on the gay/lesbian board).

B xx


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## blondedolphin (May 13, 2012)

Thanks Bethany thats really helpful. I'm going to start trying in my next cycle, I've got the specimen pots and syringes and yes it would be great to get some AI tips and thanks for explaining the acronyms!


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## Kiwi_in_uk (May 25, 2009)

Blondedolphin

I started with a Known Donor and now have two kids and the Donor is the person I am now in a relationship with.  You just never know what is around the corner.  There are pros and cons to any route, but the best route for you is the one that gives you a child. 

xx


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## aimless1 (Aug 14, 2010)

Hi Blonde dolphin
I just started with a known donor.  Waiting to see if the home insemination worked.....  I have turned into a complete fertility obsessive and have pretty much had to ban  myself from google.  Not had a coffee for a month. Overhauled diet etc.  I think my main issue is going to be not getting myself totally stressed out by everything.
A x


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## MistyLake (Jul 7, 2008)

Hi Kiwi in the uk!
Not sure if you remember me, Misty Lake had Thomas to a known donor. We met in Warwick i think?! Well I am impressed to see that you have 2. I knew you would get together with him, you were just a commitment phobe! I tried to conceive for 6 months with my known donor for a second baby, and got pregnant but had a miscarriage. I am now 28 weeks pregnant with a new unknown donor from Athens. Good to see you are doing well!
MistyLake x


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hi aimless1
I am interesting in doing AI at home  and I was wonder how did you find doing it and how do you go about it and what happen now  I mean did you find it easy or hard etc.
Thank you.
Becky7 xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

i did home inseams with my KD before we moved onto clinics, but I would say it was futile as he has  a low sperm count, so I would stringy advise that when he is getting all his infection screen tests done, do a simple sperm analysis as the incidence of abnormal sperm is high (?30% ish). I found it more stressful than any clinic cycle as I had to control and arrange everything- OPK to detect LH surge and then arrange to go for the 3 consecutive days for inseams- we lived 2 hrs apart so I would go and stay at his house. Then the pressure of home testing on the 2ww.  We did straight syringes and also used soft cup/mooncup on other cycles. 
I think you need to discuss and agree things before you do them, like their flexibility and availability for you- how long are they willing to be in this arrangement for you? some say 6 months- for us we have been n this 7 years. Also the implications as a home donor and the legal side of things- see Natalie Gamble's website for more info on this but they are not protected as they would be in a clinic.
There are kits and info packs on lots of the gay parenting websites if you have researched on them
Good Luck


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