# Lesbians Using Donor Sperm, Part 6



## Jayne

Cyclers  

Eddie* - Clomid and DI 

(Midnightaction) Sarah* - Egg Share DIVF 

Woo* & Lea - DI  

2ww - Good luck!   

(Nismat) Tamsin* & Karen - DIUI - Testing 8 Nov 

In between treatment

Emma73* - DIVF in October

(Feistyblue) Claire* & Beverley - Egg Share DICSI 

Heather* & Jo - DIVF in Jan

(Herbaltea) Sarah* - DIUI 

(Julesforgirls) Jules* - Donor eggs with partners eggs, then DIVF

Misty* & Bunny - DIUI

(Snagglepat) Gina & Rae* - DI

Tonia2* - DIUI

Precious Cargo On Board  

(Bagpuss1) Kerry* & Helen - DIUI - EDD 9 Jan  

Friskypony* & Pup - DIVF - EDD 9 April  

Edith* & Mabel - DIVF - EDD 26 April  

Never Forgotten Angels 

Our Miracle is Here 

Evelet & R* - Proud parents to a baby boy born 16.08.05 

Please let me have any additions/amendments to the above list 

* = Partner having treatment


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## snagglepat

Hi Jayne,

Thanks for doing this. You're a star.  For the record, assuming we go for the 3WW this time, we'll be testing on November 1st (if AF doesn't rear her ugly head before then that is).

Best wishes all round.

Gina.


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## Jayne

You're welcome Gina.  Good luck to you and Rae


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## nismat

Well, sadly I was right and my period did indeed show up as expected. So I'm just finishing day 1 of my next cycle.  Bizarrely, I've felt fine about it today - I think I was more upset over the weekend when I realised that it hadn't worked again, after those dratted temperature drops. Is anyone else on here doing temp charting? After several months of charting, it is pretty accurate for me now, and easy to see patterns. I dare say that I will be up & down a bit emotionally over the next few days though, as I come to terms with another negative result. Karen & I had both been convinced that it had worked this time 

Need to ring the clinic to arrange a scan, and to discuss our options for the next cycle. I think I'll go medicated again, but with more drugs to try & get more than 1 follie. Obviously there's then a risk of multiples, but luckily its quite a small risk. Karen thinks that having twins would be great  Not so sure myself  

Gina & Rae, sending you some babydust for the 3ww ahead of you, and wishing that 14 is your magic number.   How have you two managed to keep sane when you have been trying for so long? I'm struggling slightly after just 4  

I know there were some postings on the last thread that I wanted to respond to, but can't remember them now, and can't look back at them. Oh well.

Tamsinx


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## Mable

Hi,
So sorry Tamsin that your 4th try hasn't worked. You will be pregnant soon. All the best to you and Karen, have lots of treats.

Good luck to Gina and Rae  

Time is really dragging waiting for our scan. I dreamt last night that the baby had 2 heads and was a real monster on the screen. 

 to you all,
Mable


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## nismat

Sorry you had such a horrible dream Mable - it doesn't stop you feeling unsettled just because it's "only" a dream. Everything crossed for the scan that all will be as it should be     Is it on Friday?

T xx


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## snagglepat

Hi all,

*Tamsin*, so sorry to hear that your 4th attempt wasn't successful. Sending hugs out to you both, and lots of positive vibes for the next cycle. Extra medication sounds good. I have to admit I'm kind of with Karen on the multiples thing. A pregnancy of any number of children would be really most welcome!

Rae hasn't had a strong surge line yet, so we think we either may have missed it (not sure how) or she's just not having a strong reading this cycle. We're not overly concerned, as one of the previous couples our donor donated to had a similar experience one cycle, and conceived triplets! (Naturally too.) We inseminated on Monday, and he's coming over again this evening for another bash.

I was at the hospital again this morning to see how my ovaries are responding to the Metformin. Amazingly, they're responding really well and I have a 19mm follicle on my right ovary, meaning I'll ovulate in the next 24-48 hours! When we found this out, we did ponder whether we should inseminate me instead this evening. We're probably not going to do this, as tempting as it is (with my body craving pregnancy but R's age meaning she gets the priority). It would be just our luck to both get pregnant at the same time! There's a part of me that quite likes this idea - the prospect of both being on maternity leave at the same time especially - but R is adamant that we don't risk such a thing. If she's going to get pregnant, she wants me to be fully able to support her, which I completely understand.

But still, I can't help feeling a little bit like this is too good an opportunity to waste. Ah well! At least we know I'm responding, and if I'm ovulating now, the chances are I still will be in a year or so when it comes to my turn again.

Best wishes all round folks,

Gina.


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## snagglepat

Hi all,

Just a quickie. 

Rae surged more strongly last night, so we inseminated her again. I guess her cycles might still be being a little bit irregular after the chemical pregnancy? Don't know, but at least we got a decent reading and can feel like we got the timing about right. Fingers crossed!

I was re-reading 'The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians' by Rachel Pepper last night. It was the first lesbian conception book I ever read and thought it might be fun to read over again now we're much more involved in the process. There was one quote in there from a couple who finally conceived on their 14th attempt, which I was very pleased to read, and has given me a bit more hope. 

Best wishes to all,

Gina.


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## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Tamsin, so sorry to hear that this attempt was not successfull, I had all of mine and squishys fingers and toes crossed for you. Really thought this would be the one for you!! 

Gina, Hope the inseminaton went well for you both last night.

Have got my 28 week midwife appointment tomorrow, hopefully my urine infection should have cleared up and no more nasty antibiotics YUK!!! 

We are going away for a week tomorrow so wont be able to check up on you all. 

Good luck to everyone, will catch up when I get back.

Kerry and Cuthbert.


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## nismat

Ugh, just lost a long posting and haven't got time to do it all again. 

In brief, had a good visit to the clinic, saw the doctor that we like (an unexpected bonus), and I can go straight on with treatment this cycle. Going to up the meds slightly to try and produce more follies (but not too many), and also going to go for 2 IUIs on consecutive days. Hopefully that will do the trick!

Kerry - can't believe you are 28 weeks already! How big is your bump now? Enjoy your week away.

Gina & Rae: sounds like the timing of the insems was pretty good in the end, so hope that it works for you this time. You must be very strong to keep on going, so I hope that your persistence is rewarded very soon. I used to read all those lesbian baby books before we started ttc and blithely assumed I would be one of the lucky ones who got pregnant almost straightaway, not one of the ones in the "it can take some time" chapter. And I do also know that I'm not in that group either at only our 5th attempt! Good luck anyway, and it's also brilliant news that you are responding to the metformin Gina.

Mable & Edith - good luck for the scan  

Tamsin


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## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Kerry*, I hope you both have a fabulous week away. I look forward to catching up with you when you get back.

*Tamsin*, it's great news that you can go straight head with the next cycle and I really hope the increased meds and the double doses of sperm do the trick for you.   

You made me laugh when you said you thought you'd concieve almost straight away. When I read those books I was also sure that we'd conceive really quickly - I know that unwavering optimism all too well! The prospect of it taking years just didn't feature in my world plan at all at the start. I have to admit, it has got easier though. We did our first five inseminations on five consecutive months and by the end of them we were both emotionally exhausted and we forced ourselves to take a break. It was the best thing we could have done and now we regularly take a break after three or four cycles, just so we can 'get our breath back' a bit. I also think we've just got used to it not working, so no longer expect it so much. We always do hope, but the hope isn't as strong as it was, or as all consuming. In the past I'd have been working out in my head exactly where R's egg would have got to and watch stage the process would be at, but now I rarely think of it. I don't actually think we're going to believe it when it does happen.

I also think it's a bit easier for us using a known donor, simply from a financial point of view. There's no way we'd have been able to afford 14 IUIs in two years, and I imagine most clinics would have wanted us to move onto something more intensive (and expensive) well before now anyway. But regardless, whether it takes 2, 5 or 20 inseminations, we've all had to go through a lot to get to where we're aiming for. Hopefully it'll work out for all of us soon.

Best wishes all round,

Gina.


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## Mable

Wow, just seen our baby, he's amazing (hoping for a boy!), fully formed, little arms and legs waving about in the air. We saw his face in profile, brain and spine, he was opening and closing his mouth (drinking the amniotic fluid apparently) and flipped over when the scanner prodded Edith's stomach. 

Thanks for all your thoughts and positive messages.

 to you all, and happy weekend!
Mable


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## snagglepat

Wow!

*Mable* and *Edith*, that's fantastic! You must be just overflowing with joy and excitement!   

Gina.


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## midnightaction

Hiya all just a quicky from me !!! 

*Tamsin* So sorry it was a bfn for you this time, but glad to see your already onto the next cycle. 

I am like you were in the early stages, I still have this small thought in my mind that I am gonna get pregnant straight away, and all this talk about carrying on for months and years seems crazy............I know the likelyhood of that is very slim but I guess when you first start out you still hold a small amount of optimism, I sure that will diminish in time 

*Mable & Edith* Wow I'll bet it was a truely magical experience to see you little one moving around on the screen like that 

*Gina &Rae * Hope you two are doing good !!! 

I'm glad to see that metformin is doing it's job and working for you .........I understand how hard it must be for you know knowing that your body is doing all of the right things for you to ttc but it's just not the right time for you yet  But at least you know that when the time is right your body will be in the best shape that it can be 

*Kerry* Hope had had/have (depending on when you read this !!! ) a fab holiday and it gives you a well earned relaxing break !!! 

Wel only 4 more days of that vile pill for me and then I can not start sniffing on Wednesday, can't believe it has come around this quick !!! 

Anyway I best be off

Love to all

Sarah xx


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## nismat

Mable & Edith - how wonderful to hear that everything is OK with your baby and that you got to see everything so clearly. It actually brought a tear (or two) to my eye! So pleased for you   

Sarah - almost ready to start cycling in earnest! If you are doing egg-share IVF, then you have got a pretty high chance of it working first time I should think. Anyway, there's every reason to hope that it will work quickly when you start out; optimism is not a bad thing! Although I thought it would work quickly, I think that I've always been prepared for it to take 4-6 attempts without worrying about it too much, but what I wasn't prepared for was the delays/having to skip cycles, which has dragged everything out so much. I was convinced that I would be heavily pregnant by this Christmas, whereas now I'll just be happy to be pregnant at all!

Gina; very interesting to read how things have changed for you over the course of your & Rae's 14 cycles - thank you so much for sharing that. I particularly liked the bit about working out where the egg is and what's going on! I was so completely like that in my first 3 cycles, but last time didn't think much about it at all! And yes, the finance side of things do have an impact on it all - in going the clinic route and spending a fair bit on each cycle anyway, we're actually now prepared to spend more money on each attempt (and try much more intervention than I ever would have thought we would have considered at this stage), rather than try and eke it out over lower-tech cycles that have a lower success rate. I hope that our reasoning is correct  

Love to all,
Tamsin x


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## friskypony

Hello girlies,
Sorry i've been off air for a while. Got taken into hospital and ended up having a laparoscopy for suspected appendacitis. All clear though and Just a pelvic irritation and womb pressing on a nerve... It's been a joy!!!
So all ok now and bub still going strong at nearly 15 weeks.

Hope you're all ok

Love Frisky xx


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## nismat

Frisky, glad to know that you (and baby) are OK - it must have been pretty worrying at the time  

I had good news at my scan today - the drugs & my body have co-operated to produce 2 follies on my right ovary (both at 13mm today which is cd. Back on Friday for another scan - just hoping that they don't think that I will ovulate on Sunday which would mean having to abandon the cycle. That's pessimisim for you!  

Tx


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## midnightaction

*Frisky* Sooo sorry to hear you have not been well.........I am sure having your uterus pressing on a nerve is no fun at all...........but glad to see both you and little one are doing fine now !!! 

*Tamsin* Big congrats with the scan and your two follies.........I will do a little growing dance for you so that when you go back on Friday they will of grown even bigger    

Got some dissapointing news today, I was supposed to start cycling tomorrow but unfortunately the lady who was my recipient has not responded well so will no longer be proceeding !!! 
They have matched me up with another recipient straight away but she is at a different stage in her cycle so I am gonna now have to wait until 31st Oct to get started !!!

I know it's only a couple of weeks extra but when you are so close to actually starting it's a bit upsetting to find out that your gonna have to wait a little bit longer !!! 

Oh well it will get me into practise for waiting during the 2ww 

Love to all

Sarah xxx


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## friskypony

Morning girlies,

*Tamsin* well done on your follies by friday they'll be lovely an juicy, why would they abandon the cycle if your due to pop on sunday What drugs are you on??

*Sarah* it's really hard when they keep putting you off but it may prove to be the best move, Fingers crossed X

I move back down to London next weekend, which is good in some ways but poor Pup is having to come up and drive me down as driving still makes me sick, we also still have some stuff to move back down south as well.
Then i start a new job on 1st Nov - Can't wait 

Catch you all later

Frisky


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## Mable

Hi all,
Exciting news about your follies, Tamsin. It's lovely that you can proceed straight away with your next try. Good luck - hope you don't pop on Sunday.

Sorry to hear about your delays Sarah - time to get extra healthy.

Good luck on the move, Frisky and Pup - London is great!

I've told my parents - mixed reaction, a bit fed up with hearing about their 'reservations' although feel I need to give them lots of explanations and time to get used to the idea (they are rather traditional/backward) - better in the long run although it's also hard to stay positive about ourselves when faced with their negativity.

Edith's tummy is growing - 13 weeks,1 day now!

Let's get dancing for Tamsin, girls - 
Whatever happened to Herbaltea and Eddie?
Mable


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## blueytoo

*Sarah* - So sorry to hear that your recipient didn't want to continue - what a total pain but at least they matched you up quickly again. Us blondies are so in demand there which is good stuff!

*Tamsin* - Fab news about your follies - good luck!

*Frisky* - Good luck with the move!

*Mable* - The scans are so fabulous aren't they? I loved all my scans with my ds - had a couple of extras ones at Guys because they suspected he had a heart problem and then extra one at the hospital because my placenta started off as being low lying! You'll be hearing the heartbeat next on the doppler and that is so awesome - made me shed a tear each and every time!

*Gina* - Hope you're doing ok

As for me, well I've had some potentially bad news. My anti-cardiolipins came back as raised which means that if the repeat test comes back positive too I have got Hughes Syndrome, which is pretty scary. I'll need to take heparin and asprin during my next ICSI but also asprin for the rest of my life due to the high risk of blood clots/DVT etc.

I still can't have the NKC test until January as it needs to be as close to the tx start date as possible.

Had a freaky thought the other day, only two more AF's until I start the evil pill again - 

Babydust to all

Claire xx


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## snagglepat

Hi everyone,

*Claire*, I've got my finders crossed that the repeat test comes back as normal. That must be a real worry for you!

*Mable*, I suppose there are good things to be said about your folks having a mixed reaction. At least it wasn't all negative. And these things do tend to take time. Good luck with your patience while they get their heads around it! Great to hear *Edith*'s tummy is growing too. 

Hope the move goes well *Frisky*. Good luck with it! And I hope your discomfort eases too. That uterus-nerve thing sounds horrible!

Sorry to hear about your delays *Sarah*, but at least they've matched you with someone else straight away so the delays aren't too much longer.

And Yey for *Tamsin*'s follies!!! I hope tomorrows scan is good news and the timing works out well for the insems.

Things are ticking along nicely here, although R had her first good PMT moment last night. She's also felt perfectly fine, whereas the one time we got a positive with her she had a dodgy tummy from around 7dpo, so we're guessing this month is another no no. We won't count our chickens yet though, there's still time to go....

Best wishes everyone,

Gina.


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## nismat

Sorry not to reply before - my computer was doing odd things and only letting me read messages!
Went for my scan on Friday and follies had grown to 15mm and 16mm, so at pretty much the expected rate. Made another scan appointment for today (Monday) at 12.15pm, with the clinic expecting that I will have my first of 2IUIs this afternoon. I expected that they would want me to test for LH surge and give me the trigger injection to do at home if I got my surge over the weekend. But no! Doctor said not to test, and not to give me the trigger injection to take away. If my follies are at the "right" size, they will trigger me after the scan and do the IUI just a few hours later. This news really threw me, but there wasn't a lot I could do about it as the doctor had been very insistent with her instructions to the nurse. I was hoping to surge naturally on Sunday, so that my body's timing would work in with this, but I haven't got a surge yet. Am really worried that they will want to go ahead anyway if my follies are 18mm or more. I want to wait for my body, and will insist that they do so. Luckily Karen is off work and able to come with me, so it will be easier than if I was on my own.

*Frisky*, I've been on Letrazole (Femara) + Puregon to promote the growth of more follies. My clinic doesn't do insems on a Sunday, so if you get a surge on a Saturday morning (indicating you will ovulate on Sunday), you have to go and have the IUI a day early on the Saturday, which I know would be too early for me, and therefore pointless. Anyway, it didn't come to that this time! Good luck for your move down to London next weekend. Once you are settled in, you & Pup could come along to the group of us on http://groups.msn.com/LesbianInseminationSupport/welcome.msnw that meet up every 6 weeks or so, at different people's houses. There are 3 babies in the group (all boys!), several pregnancies, and a few of us who are still trying. "Edith" and "Mable" usually come along, so if you come too you can find out their real names! 

*Sarah* sorry to hear that the start of your treatment has been delayed - it must be very disappointing. At least it's not too much longer to have to wait, although I'm sure it feels like a lifetime at the moment. I think that the delays in treatment are the most frustrating thing to deal with; worse in many ways than the 2ww!

*Mable *- sorry to hear that it's a bit of a struggle with your parents. It must be difficult for them to get their heads round it, especially as you are the non-bio mother, but I'm sure that they will be thrilled by their grandchild when he/she arrives. Not easy for you to deal with though. Have you officially reached the start of the second trimester now, or is it more around 14 weeks? I'm so focussed on getting pregnant that I feel I know very little about the actual pregnancy process!

*Claire *- I hope that your blood test was a one-off result. I don't know anything about the condition, but it must be a real worry to have it hanging over you that it is a possibility, especially when you can't find out yet.

*Gina & Rae*, hope that things are going OK for you   

Will post with an update later,
Tamsin x


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## snagglepat

Hey folks,

How did it go yesterday *Tamsin*? I hope they were receptive to your desire to wait for your body to ovulate naturally. I can understand why you'd want to do that, and I really hope they went with you on it without a struggle. How did the insem go?

No news here. We reckon Rae is due some time this week, but as her surges were so vague we really have no idea when or if she ovulated this cycle. It's now 15 days since the first insemination, and 13 days since the second. We thing she might have ovulated on the Thursday, which would make it only 12 days ago. So no news yet. She has had all her normal PMT signs and no upset tummy, so we're not really that hopeful.

We've also been talking about where we go next with all of this, now we know that I'm ovulating thanks to the Metformin, and now R is studying again, and uncomfortable with the idea of pregnancy getting in the way of her studies. We're going to swap back over to using me, at some point. The only issue is my current work contract runs out in July 06, and trying to find another post whilst pregnant isn't exactly good planning. So I'm now looking for another contract, ideally a 2yr or more one, so I can have some certaintly around maternity cover. We'll probably continue trying with R for now, and swap over as soon as I've found myself something. It's a shame, as I really enjoy my job, but I'm going to try and find something else within the university if I can. So it's the beginnings of all change here. Of course, R might get pregnant before I find a new job, in which case I can stay where I am!

Anyway, that's the news from here. Sending the best of wishes to everyone else.

Gina.


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## nismat

OK, so I worried needlessly yesterday   At the scan, one of my follies measured 21mm (hurrah) and the other only 13mm (boo), but because I hadn't yet surged, they automatically changed my first IUI to happen today (Tuesday), and then the second on Wednesday pm. I had the trigger injection at the clinic, and hopefully one or the other insem will do the trick, even though I've now only got 1 viable egg. 

Gina - it can be so tricky trying to organise life plans around the "what if I/we are pregnant?" thing can't it? We've given up postponing things, and just work on the basis that if I'm pregnant when something else is occurring, we'll just have to deal with it at the time. I know that it's a bit different when you're talking career moves though.

Tx


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## snagglepat

Hey Tamsin,

I'm glad things went well at the clinic. It's a shame you're down to one egg again though. Still, one is all it takes....   

Yeah, we're very much the same when it comes to arranging things. It's been two years since we started trying, nearly three since we started planning this, so we're well versed on the 'we'll deal with it when it happens' idea, but if I were to get pregnant now I'd be signing up for nothing more than statutory maternity cover and we simply won't be able to afford it. Well, I guess we would, really, but we'd probably have to sell up and down-size, and we're only in a 2 bed semi as it is. Still, what will be will be. It's forcing us to decide to continue to try with R until I get a new, longer term post, and that's that. R might get pregnant one of these months anyway, and then the pressure's off.

Good luck with this time Tamsin. I'm crossing all available appendages for you. (Which makes it really awkward to type, I can tell you!)

Gina.


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## midnightaction

Good evening ladies hope we are all doing good on this cold and windy night !!! 

*Tamsin* Soooo glad to see your follie got it's self up to 21mm...........hope insem went well today and I am sending good luck for the second one tomorrow !!! 

And just because it's you I am gonna do a little dance for you to encourage that follie to give you a fabby egg thats gonna make a fabby embie !!!

     

Your soooo right about the waiting being the worst bit of the TTC rollercoaster, it is driving me insane already !!! 

*Gina&Rae* I have my fingers crossed for this month for you both, but if not I hope you make the right choice between you to see who will carry on with trying to get pregnant !! 

I understand how hard it must be making that descision because there are obviously so many plus and minus to both and it's hard to weigh up whats gonna be for the best !!! 

   for you both

*Claire* I am hoping and praying that your next test comes back clear for you hun, I know how potentially worring this whole time must be for you 

Keep us updated on how it all goes 

*Mable & Edith* How is your little one doing .........are you 14 weeks now ?? 

Hoping your both enjoying every single second of this pregnancy (minus the sickness of course!!)

*Frisky* Good luck with your move this weekend, hope it all goes to plan and you get settled in really quickly !! 

No news for me I am afraid still playing the waiting game, hopefully fingers crossed if things go to plan this time, should hopefully start D/R on Monday !!!! 

And that means no more evil pill !!!! 

Love always

Sarah xx


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## Mable

Hi all,
Good luck Tamsin            - that should do the trick!

Gina - I remember well all the dilemnas over life planning whilst TTC - excruciating. I think it is because you never know whether it is ever going to happen, or when it is going to happen. I have to say that for us now it feels that there is so little time for anything and we feel so unprepared, almost as though we got pregnant by accident!! How mad is that. I remember you saying that it is important not to put life on hold or make decisions that depend on you being pregnant because it makes the whole process worse - I thought that was very good advice at the time.

Claire - sorry to hear your news. 

Sarah - sorry to hear your delays, hopefully very soon you can get going. If it's your first IVF, do feel free to post questions - quite a few of us have been through the process, I have to say that it's not as bad as we feared, although nothing can make the 2ww anything but excruciating.

We are having major building work done at home so Edith is in full swing with the builders, riding on those pregnancy hormones (bordering on agressive!). 14 weeks and the baby is meant to be rising out of the pelvis now but not much sign of it yet (an ever growing layer of fat though - the midwife said it wasn't baby after all). Can't wait to see it and hear about its first kicks.

Mable


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## starrysky

Love these pumpkins!!!

Hi everyone

Haven't posted in a while, so probably can't catch up with all news but:-

Good Luck Tamsin
Sarah I hope you are on schedule now for a start
Frisky I hope the job is going well
Claire I hope you are okay
Gina and Rae, all we want to do is be pregnant, it feels as though the longer as couples we are not pregnant the more of these dilemmas and decisions we face. I guess it is good preparation for parenting, but at least then you are a parent.....!?
Edith and Mable - lovely to hear that the scan went well.

2nd IVF getting closer now for me, seeing doctor in a few weeks to get drugs presciption, here we go again.

Walked away from nasty car crash two nights ago (speeeding 4x4 went into the back of the car), car looking like written off, I suddenly thought yesterday "What if I had been pregnant with the first IVF?". Scary thought. The first time I've ever been glad I was not pregnant. Got whiplash, headaches, arm ache but v/lucky. 



best wishes to you all.

H


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## snagglepat

Hey folks,

Wow *Heather*. Really glad to hear you've not been too badly injured in the accident (though whiplash can be horrible). Look after yourself, and each other, OK? And you must also be really excited to know that IVF no 2 is nearly here.    to you for it. 

*Mable* and *Edith*, good luck with the building works! Glad to hear things are ticking along nicely for you.

Thansk for the good wishes *Sarah*. 

It's now been 15 days since the last insemination, 17 days since the first, and there's no AF yet. R has been getting normal 'I'm about to bleed' twinges, so we will wait an see for a while longer. We'll test early next week if AF doesn't arrive before then. Keep your fingers crossed for us folks! There's a bit of me that's beginning to get a little hopeful now.....

Best wishes all round,

Gina.


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## Mable

Gina - I'm getting excited for you. Edith had those twinges and PMT feelings when she got her positive. Don't you just feel like sneaking in a little test, just to see?  

Tamsin, hows it going? 

Love this halloween gear


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## snagglepat

Thanks *Mable*, you made me grin. 

But no, we're going to be good. I'm going away overnight tomorrow, and will get back on Saturday evening, so the earliest we'll consider testing will be Sunday. Really, we should wait until Tuesday, by which time she'll be a week late. R is very determined about this - there is no way a test will be getting done earlier! I'm hoping that by keeping busy I'll be able to keep my mind off it, and AF could arrive at any minute too.

*trying to be calm and collected, and live up to R's immense self-control*

Gina.


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## midnightaction

Good evening ladies !!! 

*Mable* Thanks for the offer of answers on anything IVF related.....your gonna wish you didn't offer though because I have sooooo many questions !!! 

*Heather* Soooo sorry to hear about your accident , I know what it is like DP and I were in a hit and run accident in April and that really shook us up for quite some time afterwards........take care of yourselfs and start getting those positive thoughts into action for the soon to start cycle !!! 

*Gina & Rae* I still have everything crossed for you...........good luck for your up coming test !!!   

*Tamsin* Hope your doing good hun 

Had a little scare today, even though I am on the pill the evil witch af suddenly and unexpectedly turned up today.........I was convinced that meant I would not be able to cycle this month, but I called the clinic and they said to carry on taking the pill until Monday and to start d/r as planned, they said af turning up like this in the middle of the pill happens all the time !!! 

Anyway have a great weekend ladies

Bye for now

Sarah xxx


----------



## starrysky

Hi everyone

Sarah - thanks for encouraging me to feel positive. The accident has kind of stopped me mid-track as I was beginning to be ready for the IVF if you know what I mean. But I know I've got to, and will,  keep moving forward. Got a letter from the other persons insurance this morning which I will forward straight on to mine but my heart sank at the prospect of what is to come - getting a cheque that won't cover the value of the car, having to find the money when the IVFs and treatment have left us broke, letter writing etc. I also just can't shake a feeling of being unlucky, and that somehow the unluckiness of this year will carry on to next. Going for acupuncture on Friday to help with treatment so hopefully that may lift my mood  bit as well. Sorry for the moan.  . Happy cycling  .

Gina and Rae - i hope this is your time!!!    .

Tamsin - got my   for you.

Love to all.

H


----------



## Tonia2

Hi all!  
I've just discovered this site and spent the last few hours following this thread! Yay! ( I'm not particularly computer savvy  so it's taking me a while to figure it all out  )It is soooo good to discover some people going through all the same stuff...My DP & I are in Tasmania Australia and I haven't really found anything like FF here (I've not been looking that long though, I admit) You all sound like fantastic women! Please please please may I join your party?   (heh!)

I'm currently on day 10 of a 2ww and am valiantly resisting the urge to test early. It's our third try & so should be testing on Sat 5th Nov if no period comes prior.  Am starting to get (very familiar) sore boobs though and so am thinking a normal period is yet again around the corner.. but then, I had a really bad indigestion type thing happening for 3-4 days at the end of last week, and I've only ever had indigestion once in my life before. It was weird... it could well be from working nights ...but I'm hopeful!  I'm a nurse working permanent nights in a very quiet psych ward - so I'm fortunate enough to be able to surf the net at work. When I'm awake enough, that is!

   Anyway, just wanted to introduce myself to you all, so will sign off here  
       squishy hugs, hope and courage to all      

  T


----------



## Mable

Hi all,
It's a special week for us all as Westlife are Number 1!  Did anyone see them on their bar stools last night? 

Big welcome to Tonia2! Great to have some input from Tasmania! Good luck for the 2ww   


Mable


----------



## midnightaction

*Happy Halloween Ladies * 

*Heather* I fully understand what you mean about the stress of having to sort things out after an accident . As ours was a hit and run it took us forever to get our insurance company to pay out anything, 9 weeks it took them to send us the cheque to cover the car, even though the car had been totally written off 8 weeks earlier !!! 

I know how hard it is to remain positive throughout this all, but just try and focus as much of your positive energy into your treatment as possible...........and remember all of us ladies are here to help you through it !!! 

*Tonia* Welcome to our humble abode, we hope you like it here !! 

Sending you lots of    for the 2ww.........only 4 days and counting !! 

*Mable*   , I knew Westlife getting to number one would make your week !!

*Tamsin* Thinking of you...............  

*Gina & Rae* Any news for you two ??  

I finally started down regging today !!!!!   

Can not believe we have finally got going with all of this !!! 

Looking foward to enjoying all of the lovely side effects that go along with the d/r drugs !!! 

Love to all

Sarah xxx


----------



## woo_woo

Hi all,

we're new to the site and are going to try for our first DI nxt week! Typically though my period is already late this month!!!

Wanted to say 'hi' to everyone and good luck to all those who are trying / waiting / going as crazy as we are!

Woo and Lea xxx


----------



## nismat

Hi all, thanks for the fertility dances! I'm now half way through my 2ww and everything is following its usual routine, but I'm trying not to read either good or bad things into any symptoms (or lack of them!). I actually feel pretty un-involved in this cycle (I guess that I'm waiting for another BFN), so at least the time isn't dragging too much   There's far too much exciting stuff going on in our new home anyway for me to be thinking about much else; most of the rooms are now re-plastered, the floorboards are all being sanded back and a couple of rooms are painted already (plus we've chosen colours for all the rest). And most exciting of all, my brand new Aga was installed yesterday, and the rest of the kitchen is going in this week. Honestly, I could burst from all the excitement   Can't wait to be able to move in - should be in 4-6 weeks time we think.

Gina, have got everything crossed for you & Rae on your official 3ww testing day today (presuming that AF hasn't shown up yet of course)    . Your comment about it making typing awkward did make me laugh  

Sarah - good luck with the down-regging, it must be so exciting to actually be starting your cycle. 

Mable- look at your and your Westlife icon   Will I be out of favour if I say I don't even know what the song is?     What's the building work that you are having done? 

Heather - so sorry to hear about your car accident; what horrible bad luck. All the whiplash etc. sounds very painful. A bit of unsolicited advice here, but if you haven't already, please get yourselves checked out by an osteopath or chiropractor, just to make sure everything is OK. I had whiplash after a car accident 15 years ago, didn't get seen until the problem reared it's head about 9 months later. It turned out that I had compacted 2 of the vertebrae in my neck, and it's left me with a chronic problem that still needs regular visits  to the chiro  

Welcome to Tonia & DP over in Tasmania. I hope that this 2ww brings a good result for you  

Also hi to Woo_woo and Lea, who I recognise from another board  The first try really is both exciting and terrifying, especially when you've been waiting so long to get started. Hard not to go a bit crazy!


Tamsin x


----------



## Mable

Hi all,

Did anyone see Wife swap last night - the american version which saw a partner swap between a gay male couple with 2 daughters and a religious couple with 4 sons? It was so uplifting to see the fog of prejudice clear when the Christians realised there was a lot they had learnt from the gay couple in terms of parenting and partnership.

Some wonderful TV coverage of our parenting abilities for a change! Quite uplifting.

Congrats to Sarah for starting DR-ing. Hope you don't have too many symptoms.

Rae - your willpower is wonderful but you must test today!

Tamsin   - don't you watch Top of the Pops?
 to you all,
Mable


----------



## starrysky

Hi everyone

Firstly a big welcome to our far-flung Tasmanian friends Tonia and DP! And also to Woo and Lea and the loveley Boo. Tonia   for your results, let us know, Woo   to you for DI. 

Mable - what a choice of TV last night, either Three Woman and a Baby which was a real reminder of what is coming -injection, scans etc - but an uplifting story in that it worked (one sisiter donated eggs, another sister received the embryos - it was a real family effort to help the third sister who had become infertile following cervical cancer). Or the Wife Swap, I managed to see both. The Wife Swap was a good one, that man with his "butt basher" really wound me up, I was very glad to see that go. 

Sarah- happy downregging. All my insrance stuff has now gone very quiet. I feel like I am being lulled into a sense of false security!!

Tamsin - thanks so much for your advice about whiplash. I went to the GP today and have been signed off until Monday. I spoke with him about osteopathy/chiropracty and he has suggested I leave it another week and then go. He is also sending me for a neck xray so I am hoping now that I have done everything possible to try and reduce the chances of further problems. 

Gina and Rae - my fingers are crossed for you.

Will let you know how I get on with the acupuncture.

Best wishes

Heather


----------



## evelet

Hello everyone, 

I am new to fertility friends but must admit that I have been lurking for a while... Anyway I just wanted to say hello  

my gf (R) gave birth to our first child (a baby boy) on 16 August 05 so we now have an 11 wk old baby. I wish I'd known about this site when we were ttc! Anyway, we are starting to make some decisions about ttc for no. 2 (R will be going for it again...).  Currently R is breastfeeding but I think she is going to have to stop in April next year and we are going to back to the clinic (London Womens Clinic) to kick the process off in May next year. We have to try and find out about conceiving so soon after a previous pregnancy and when she will be fertile again. Its so bizarre because I am worrying about it all so much already.......

Anyway good luck to everyone who is


----------



## Mable

Big welcome to Evelet - we know each other - guess who.?!? Actually, we chose these user names as we were trying out Mable and Edith as girls names but have now gone off the whole old lady/man name pool (except Ernest which is my absolute favorite but most people I've tried it out on hate it).

I know what you mean about planning the second - we are already planning the second and the first is only 15 weeks old so far.... I'm hoping to go next but kind of just want to enjoy the first without all the TTC stress. Good luck with all your preparations and keep us posted.

Heather - it's coming quickly isn't it!  Keep up all the healthy eating and organic egg preparation. Does having done it once make the process seem a little more familiar and therefore slightly easier?

Gina and Rae - you must have tested already??

 to Tamsin

Sarah - how are the injections going?

Would it be really naf to have one of the Westlife boy's names as a middle name? Edith thinks so ....  

Mable


----------



## evelet

Yes well actually I do know a couple of you IRL   (the smileys on here RULE).

We started planning no.2 when R got to 12 weeks when she was preg with Jude. But now its seems all serious and panicky again! Don't get me wrong we are SO grateful for Jude and are really really enjoying him (well apart from when he wakes up at 3am and wont go back to sleep  ) but its almost as if we are only part of the way there... 

So, Mable and Edith. Are you REALLY madcrazy Westlife fans? I don't see why a Westlife name would be such a bad thing! Well maybe not Brian.... Which name are you thinking of?


----------



## Mable

Kian is my favorite. I've actually been perusing all their middlenames as well, am considering Patrick (Paddy)...

Have to say that Edith doesn't like Westlife at all, but she comes to all their concerts and knows most of the words, she even dances and waves very convincingly. Am so excited that they got to number 1 as they will certainly do another tour this year and our baby will get to hear them from within.

Great having new people on this thread!


----------



## snagglepat

Hi everyone,

Sorry not to have been around for a few days. I got my period and ended up in a drugged haze for a few days to deal wih the pain, but am back in the world of the living now. R's AF arrived on Sunday, so we didn't get to do our 3WW test. We've had a heavy few days really, reassessing where we're at, and we're going to take a few months off. We'll probably start back with me when we're ready to start again, but after 14 tries we're ready for another break. I'll probably still be popping back on here to check up on you all from time to time though. 

Welcome to *Evelet* - we already know each other too - you've probably worked out how by reading the above, and to *Tonia* and DP, and *Woo-woo* and DP. Good luck to you all.

*Bagpuss*, did you still want to talk about doula things?

And best wishes to everyone else too.

Gina x


----------



## starrysky

Sorry Gina and Rae I was really hoping for good news for you both this time. It is so frustrating and painful every time it doesn't work and you just don't want to be reassessing, you just want to be pregnant and have a break from reassessing   , do you know what I mean? Anyway   to you for your break. Take care.

Hi Evelet, GF, and little Jude. Welcome! . 

Mabel - I am not a big westlife fan but I say go ahead, and I think Kian is lovely.

 Now as for that organic egg preparation, it is not going well, I have put on half a stone since the car accident and I am just eating rubbish. I need to sort that out PDQ and get back to the healthy stuff. 

That's all for now! 

I was just thinking there how much I appreciate talking to you all, I think I would have felt really isolated without FF and you all in particular so THANK U   .

Another thing,  we haven't often spoken about other options apart from, becoming pregnant ourselves but I read an article on Angelina Jolie's adoption the other week and she writes "I didn't want to be a mother just to see what I could create physically. I wanted to nurture and be a friend". It just reminded me that I can become a parent even if I never get pregnant. This will be my last IVF, if it doesn't work Jo will try. If no joy there we will try to adopt, and we feel positively about adoption to the point that we have spoken about adopting in addition to having a biological child if we can. 

Anyway that's definitely all from me!

H


----------



## evelet

its really nice to read what you say about adoption. i dont know if we would adopt or not. i think we would definitely consider it if we weren't able to conceive another child ourselves....

Hi Gina - I do recognise you from elswhere. Its amazing how small the community of us lesbian wanttobemums is online really as I know you definitely post in at least 2 of the places that I do. I'm sorry to hear that it didn't happen for you this time. I hope the break helps prepare you for the next ttc. it takes up SO much emotional energy. We didn't expect that at all.

Mable - I love the idea of Edith convincingly waving along to Westlife with you! I really like the name Patrick too and have considered it as a first name. I got quite het up about picking names before Jude was born and in the end it was R who thought of Jude's name. She'd had such a HORRENDOUS labour that when the midwife asked me if he had a name I just said "Jude" even though I preferred Benjamin at the time. Now of course I can't imagine him being called anything else...

if any of the pg ones among you are considering a doula by the way - R and I would HIGHLY recommend it. it was definitely the best money we have ever spent!


----------



## midnightaction

Good evening ladies !!! 

*Evelet* Welcome to the board............your boy is gorgeous and I love his little snow suit !! 

Wishing you lots of luck with getting things going for the up coming cycle !!!  

*Mable* I wanted to name any future child after either all of Steps or after the entire cast of The L Word (well maybe just Laurel coz she is my favourite, but thats a whole different matter !!! )............DP has point blanky refused this choice and has threatened to disown me should I choose to do this !!!  

*Heather* I work for a well known high street bank and I know all the tricks they play to shrug you off when it comes to sorting out your insurance claim !!! 

If they don't sort things out quick then keep calling them every day and ask to speak to a supervisor, I guarantee they will have your cheque ready in no time 

*Gina & Rae* Soo sorry that you had a bfn.........but I think your both making the right choice to take some time out from all of this to focus on yourself for a bit and to regain your positive energy for the future .

Please take care of each other and don't be a stranger, please keep coming in to keep us company 

*Tamsin* Glad to see the 2ww is not causing you too much trouble and you have all the exciting things in your house to keep you occupied !!! 

Sending you    for the next 6 days !!!

Well right on Q, AF arrived today , so I called the clinic and have my first scan on Monday. If all is clear on the scan they said I can start stimming on Monday.............can't believe how quickly it is moving !!! 

Anyway love to you all

Sarah xx


----------



## nismat

I don't know, I'm away for all of a day and suddenly there are all these messages! Eve, you are such a chatterbox    Good to see you on here!

Gina & Rae, sending you big hugs for yet another BFN   Sorry that it didn't work out again, and also that you both had your periods to deal with at once! Ugh. A break sounds like a really good idea - I'm already looking forward to a couple of months break if it turns out this go hasn't worked for us.

Mable, er, no, I don't watch TOTP I'm afraid   However, despite not being up on Westlife, I don't see anything wrong with using their names, as long as both of you like the names anyway of course. Is your name choice going to be an entirely mutual decision, or do you have more voting power as non-bio mum-to-be? 

Sarah - good luck for Monday's scan! It does all seem to have come round quickly doesn't it?

Heather - hope that the whiplash pain etc. is receding somewhat now. Glad to hear you've been signed off work for this week. And your GP is quite right about not rushing to see a chiropractor/osteopath too soon whilst everything is so inflamed - I had forgotten about that   

Babydust to all   

Tamsin x


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Gina, so so sorry to hear about your BFN! Helen and I both had our fingers crossed for you this time. I dont blame you for having a break, I think you have done well to stay sane for so long!!! YES we do still want to meet up with you about being our Doula! We got back from holiday and have been so busy trying to finish the house and also didnt want to intrude when you were waiting for your 3ww to end. I will give you a ring tonight to arrange something.

Hi to all the newbies, it is so great to see our little community growing, you are all great and I dont know what I would have done without you all!!

Tamsin, I am so jealous about how trouble free your house seems to be at the moment! We have been renovating our house since July and the only thing completely finished is the babys room!! Admittedly, we only have a bit of painting and carpet to be laid but it has been such a struggle getting this far.

Hi to everyone else, please dont take it personally that i have not done personals! My brain only seems to be half functioning, I liken it to Dori from finding Nemo!!

Antenatal class was mmm interesting!!! The only gay couple there!!! not exactly what the women said to me on the phone. Oh well!! Sorry to ***** but I cant believe how seriously people take themselves at these classes. 5 weeks till maternity leave YAY!!!!!!!

Baby dust to everyone! 

Kerry and little Edie, Noah, Archie, Alfie or Darcey!!! Aagh will never choose!!!!


----------



## evelet

thank you for your kind kind words Tamsin   where would any of these boards be without EITHER of us  

actually I was just reading the updates on the MSN Lesbian Insemination Support message board and it just made me feel so sad and anxious for everyone. ttc is SO HARD isn't it? and yet the minute you do get pregnant all the tension just dissipates...

good luck to you all - let us know what happens Tamsin


----------



## nismat

Sorry Eve, you know I love you really  Was just feeling a bit wicked! 

Yes, all this ttc is soooo exhausting mentally. I just want a bloomin' baby! Where is the little so & so, and why won't it take root in me? Honestly, the thought of IVF is becoming more attractive by the day, as the idea of knowing that the sperm & eggs are meeting for sure sounds so much more definite than this IUI lark, which I'm getting a bit fed up with. I know that there are no guarantees, but at least I would know if my eggs will actually fertilise. It's so hard to accept that actually we haven't had many tries really; I feel like I should be pregnant by now if it _is_ going to work. It all rather feels like money down the drain at the moment. I haven't actually added it all up properly, but I'm sure that we've spent over £5,000! 
I know that I'm still on my 2ww and shouldn't give up hope yet, but I've never felt more sure that it's going to be a BFN again. I also know that I would be saying to others in my situation things like "you can't know till your period is here", but it just feels like I know it in my bones, if you know what I mean. I will try & hang on to the little shred of hope I still have though (and boy, am I going to feel stupid  if I'm wrong about it not working this time - not that I'll care if that does turn out to be true )

Oh dear, sorry for such a self-pitying post. Hopefully I'll get out of bed on the right side tomorrow morning, unlike today!


----------



## Mable

Hi,
Gina and Rae - so sorry this wasn't your time. Take care.

Tamsin - fingers are firmly crossed for you - you never know. I really remember how stressful and anxiety-provoking doing IUI. IVF is much easier in that respect and a good option I think, the success rates are much higher, you get to know the quality of your eggs and all the embryos have to do once it is put back in is to hold on. From my research, the Lister looks like a good place with good success rates. However, you may not need to consider any of this.....  

Bagpuss - really like Noah and Darcey! What do you all think to Dawson, Pacey, Josephine?? Can't believe you are nearly on maternity leave - it's gone so quickly. 

Edith is having a major clothes crisis, bursting out of her usual gear but stubbornly refusing to buy maternity clothes because 1. she feels too middleaged in them 2. it's a waste of money buying clothes that will only last 6 months, 3. she feels fat and frumpy so why bother.

Heather - all I can say is ORGANIC ORGANIC ORGANIC and cut out the monosodiumglutamate - it makes rats infertile.

 to you all,
Mable


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi Mable,

Funnily enough, Noah and Darcey are the names that we are leaning towards! I love the way Dawsons Creek seems to be playing a part in your name choosing! Personally I love Pacey!!

As for Maternity clothes, I dont blame Edith for not wanting to buy them. For me it got to the stage that I was crying with uncomfortableness, even my knickers were hurting me!! I was forced into buying them in the end. I have only bought a pair of jeans and one pair of work trousers, I was given another pair!  What size is she cos you could always borrow mine after squishy is born. I dont know if I will ever get to wear them again so it is a shame to let them just fester in my wardrobe.

Any way, must go, am at work and trying to eat a sandwich at the same time as typing is just not practical!

Love Kerry


----------



## evelet

Dawson and Pacey - no no no. You are soooo behind with your teen drama naming!

You need to look to the trashtastic California based series The O.C. for such fabulous names as Seth, Summer and Marissa.

In all seriousness I tried to persuade R that we should name any daughter we have Summer. Its such  a pretty name. It just has terrible ditzy Valley Girl connotations...

Bagpuss - how are you managing on just one pair of jeans! R had to buy a few things and then wore them for quite a while afterwards! Her top tip is Matalan tracksuit bottoms in increasing sizes. She has 'em all from 12 to 18! She also had a pair of dungarees from Blooming Marvellous. Ah she looked so cute  

I love Noah by the way...

 to you all.....


----------



## Mable

Bagpuss - which was your best moment, Pacey being with Andie or Pacey getting together with Joey? Edith is around the 12/14 area - would be great to inherit.

Eve - how about Sky? I think we might ditch Ernest and have Noah instead. My parents were absolutely horrified with Ernest - mother said 'Yuck'! Quite backward...


----------



## bagpuss1

Mable,

Definately Pacey being with Andie!!! Joey and Pacey just did not work!! I still have the soundtrack in my car!!! its great!!

I am a size 16 but I do have a top and a pair of black mat. trousers that are a 14.
I got one pair of trousers for a fiver in the Dorothy Perkins sale!! so have not really spent too much.

By the time I have had bub, Edith will probably be more than ready for them. If you want, you can IM me your address and I will send them to you when I am done.

I have spent much of my time in a pair of GAP tracksuit bottoms. I think I have been lucky as I have not put weight anywhere else except my bump.

Eve- Not quite sure how I have managed on one pair of jeans actually! 

better go as I am going home early.

Have a great weekend everyone

Love Kerry


----------



## evelet

Mable! Don't listen to your MUM when you pick your baby's name!!!! Pick what YOU want. Although I love Noah. I love Jasper too but R just wasn't having it. and we can't have a Jude and a Jasper...

Ebay is good for maternity clothes too - have either of you looked there?

R and I have been discussing whether she is going to chart when she starts ttcing next year. Does anyone have any opinion? Is it ok to rely on those ovulation tests or should we back those up with bbt?


----------



## Tonia2

Hi all, 

My 2ww is over for this month ending with a BFN.  A/F arrived on Wednesday night much to my disappointment (obviously!) Right now I'm taking heart that *Kerry* conceived on her / your 4th try!! here's hoping...

*Tamsin* I could really identify with your post on the 3/11. Even though I haven't (yet) been trying as long as some and haven't gone through half as much trauma as some (thankfully), but it's still soooo frustrating.. it's all the waiting that does my head in. Waiting for appointments, waiting for a possible known donor to make up his mind, waiting for ovulation, waiting for the bl**dy Dr to come back from France or Fiji or wherever he is this month... (It's so small here in Tasmania, we only really have one Dr in at the one clinic. And he is lovely, don't get me wrong!) But we've been planning and organising ttc for over 3 years now and I'm tired of walking past the baby section in Kmart and not buying anything!! My sister has conceived twice (naturally)and thus produced 2 beautiful children in that same time; and 3 colleagues have newborn babies.... It's hard not to be just a little jealous. Arghhh....!!

You know what, I'm thinking I need to get us a dog. A cute little puppy maybe...

*Tamsin* Good luck for you in the next few days...  May the waiting be over...

Thank you to all for the warm welcome. I don't have any friends or contacts here who are going through the same thing, so it's really nice to chat to people in the same boat, so to speak.

My 2 cents worth on the great name debate: I really like Noah & Kian. Noah's up there on my shortlist of boy names, along with Eli, Asher and Micah. All biblical names... not intentionally!! Seth is cool too.

*Evelet* I don't know about the ovulation tests vs bbt - I have a scan each month(usually on day 12) to see where I'm up to in my cycle, so I don't have to do any testing or monitoring myself. And I'm pretty regular - can usually predict my period within 24 hrs. I know that doesn't help you at all though! oh well...  
Your little Jude looks so cute! Love the little suit with the ears!

*Mabel* - ummm, Westlife haven't made it to Tasmania yet... I'm hanging out waiting!!

 to you all

Tonia


----------



## Jayne

Hi all 

I have updated your list on page 1 of this thread   

Jayne x


----------



## nismat

Well, I'm back on the "in between treatment" part of the list now unfortunately.
For the first time, we actually made it to official test date, but it was BFN and then my period arrived in the afternoon. Obviously it's disappointing, but in some ways we're becoming inured to it. 
We're taking a couple of months off whilst we move house, have Xmas etc. then will do a final IUI cycle in January. If that doesn't work, we will move on to IVF, so I want to start investigating that soon and will no doubt be asking quite a lot of questions!

Love & babydust to all,
Tx


----------



## evelet

Tamsin - enjoy the break. You deserve it


----------



## Mable

So sorry Tamsin - I hope you have a nice Christmas and enjoy the move into your new house (which sounds divine!). If you'd like IVF advice please do not hesitate to ask - quite a few people here have done it.


----------



## midnightaction

Sooo sorry to hear about your bfn Tamsin, please do take care of yourself, and enjoy the break over christmas, you certainly deserve it  

It seems my body does not like down regging so instead of my lining getting thinner it is getting thicker........trust my body to be so stubborn !!! 

I have been given gestone injections to bring on a bleed (Again !!!!!) and then I can hopefully try and down reg again 

Oh well, I will get started one day !!!! 

Love and    to everyone 

Sarah xxx


----------



## starrysky

Sorry to hear your news Tamsin. 

Please feel welcome to ask all the questions about IVF that you need to, there are quite a few of us who are either having it or have had it now. 

Hi to everyone else.

Heather


----------



## woo_woo

hi all, 

sorry to hear your BFN Tamsin  

We had our first natural IUI this morning, 11:00 hrs on the 11th day of the 11th month, hopefully that will bring some luck.

This is our first 2ww and it is bad already, trying to stay +ve

Good luck to everyone else

Woo x


----------



## Tonia2

Good luck for the 2ww Woo!   Look after yourself with lots of yummy self-nurturey kinds of things...it will keep you occupied if nothing else!




Toni


----------



## misty

Hi everyone!!

I've been off line for some time now as we decided to take a break after our last failed diui in July.We went through a hell of a time over the last 4 months and it seems as though our world turned upside down.

My mum hasn't been very supportive around our treatment so needless to say we haven't spoken since July.On top of that I have been under tremendous pressure at work and became very stressed so treatment was out.

We have since changed from the LWC to a clinic closer to home and had our first consult yesterday am.We intend to start another cycle of treatment in about 2 weeks using puregon and cyclogest.
I had a scan yesterday which was day 16 of my cycle and the Dr was surprised at how many good follies I had and how good the lining and ovaries were . This gave us great hope that with stimulation accurate timing of insemination things should happen!! 
She wont inseminate before 36 hrs after trigger HCG as she feels anytime before that is too soon.

Welcome on board to all our new members and a big congrats to our BFP'S!!

looking forward to catching up with you all very soon.

Lots of luv
Misty&Bunny
xxx


----------



## starrysky

Wecome back Misty and Bunny

Sorry to hear you have had a rough time. 

Good luck for the next try.

Mabel - you are converting me, I was thinking of buying a Westlife the other day!!

Heather


----------



## snagglepat

Hey everyone,

Really sorry to hear about your BFN *Tamsin*.  Having a break sounds like an excellent plan. I hope you feel suitably refreshed when you come back to trying in the new year.

Good luck to you *woo woo* - please do keep us posted!

Welcome back to *Misty* and *Bunny* too. Tons of good luck wishes to you for the next time.

Rae and I have just come back from a week away and it was exactly what the doctor ordered. We did feel like we might have pushed everything a little too far last cycle and were both feeling pretty insecure about everything, including our relationship which was quite a shock to us both, I think. But a week of nothing but each other in a cottage in the woods with our own sauna and hydrobath has made a big difference, and we're ready to roll again. We must be completely bonkers, but at least we're bonkers together.  Cycle 15, here we come!

R's probably fertile about now, but we're not checking or testing. It's quite pleasant not to know, for a change. We're going to try again, with her, next cycle. We still do plan to switch back to me, but not until I've got myself a longer term contract at work and some maternity cover and that might be some months off yet and we're going to try with her in the meantime. It would also be quite inconvenient in other ways if I got pregnant in the near future, because I need to be in total ship-shape for January when I'm going to be *Kerry* and *Helen's* doula! *Does a little dance of excitement*. We met up the weekend before R and I went away and they're both lovely, (although we knew that already). They're also clearly as  as Kerry says they are, seeing as they've booked me. 

Best wishes to everyone else,

Gina.


----------



## woo_woo

Hey all,

how's everyone doing? *Gina* thanks for the good luck wishes, right back at ya! That cottage sounds devine, is there any chance of your giving us details of where it is? I can think of nothing more i'd rather do right now than spend a week cosied up in a cottage with my hun.

So far as our 2WW goes, there's not much to tell really. Fortunately i'm quite busy at work for the nxt week or so, hopefully this will take my mind off of things. I keep getting this niggling pain/cramp in the rhs of my lower abdomen, probably just from the IUI, but cant help hoping it's an embryo attaching to the lining! Wishful thinking i guess

Anyway, good luck to you all



Woo x


----------



## snagglepat

Hi Woo,

We stayed at the Sherwood Forest Center Parcs in one of their 'executive penthouse apartments' (hence the sauna and hydrobath). Their site is www.ceterparcs.co.uk. The apartment we stayed in can be quite pricey, but it's relatively cheap at certain times of the year (winter especially) and we get a discount because we're repeat visitors. The standard apartments are perfectly fine too, just without the extra bits of luxury, and are a good way to get in there as once you've stayed there once you get cheap discounts for future visits. 

It's good to hear you're keeping busy too. Anything to take your mind off what might be going on in there! Tons of luck to you.   

Best wishes,

Gina


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Tamsin, so sorry to hear about your BFN, I am sure it will happen one day, dont give up!!
Gina, glad to see that you enjoyed your holiday, it sounds great, glad you and Rae managed to get some head space. Cant wait to meet up again. 

Have been to my ante natal appointment today and have been measured two weeks larger than my dates. This means that I have to go for another scan on Thursday to see if everything is okay. Will let you all know how I get on.

Gonna go now as I am falling asleep.

 to everyone!!

Kerry


----------



## snagglepat

Hi Kerry,

Do keep us posted on how things go tomorrow. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. If you do have any concerns about what's going on, do feel free to shout. I can't guarantee to know the answers but I can definitely do my utmost to find out.  Good luck.

How's the house going? I can offer an evening of paintbrush weilding if it would be useful... 

Best wishes to you both,

Gina.


----------



## bagpuss1

Thanks Gina,

I will let you know how I get on. Im not too concerned as being measured as large for your dates is quite common apparently!! I think I would be more concerned if I was measuring too small.

House is looking great, just waiting for carpets to be fitted on Sunday morning and then bookcases to be delivered on Wednesday. Thanks for the offer of a paint brush!! I managed to do some painting over the weekend but also managed to paint my bump with gloss aswell!! Helen was not impressed and seemed totally shocked that I had managed to paint squishy aswell as the skirting boards!!

Well better go and get some lunch, see you all later,

Kerry and the fat painted baby!!


----------



## evelet

hospitals/doctors place so much emphasis on how large you measure etc. its a load of rubbish because they never get it right. so you are right not to worry about it!

congrats on hiring a doula by the way. our doula was fantastic during Jude's extremely difficult birth. Best money we EVER spent!


----------



## Mable

Hi all,
Just to let you know about a lovely little book I've just bought from the Donor Conception Network, called 'Our Story' - it's written for children in kids language with lovely pictures, and explains in a lovely positive way our 2 mum families, how we made the baby etc. Highly recommend it - you can buy it from the website www.dcnetwork.org/publications.

Good luck to Woo on the 2ww

 to you all,
Mable


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

Just to let you know that the baby is perfectly fine, it is not big for dates!! Yippee!! Cant believe it already weighs nearly 5llbs. Still managed not to find out what gender it is although it was really tempting.

Thanks for the good wishes,

Kerry


----------



## snagglepat

Hi everyone,

*Kerry*, I'm glad to hear all is well, and well done you for not finding out the gender. I think I'd have caved in the same circumstances. 

*Mable*, thanks for the tip about the book. Does it include references for couples using a known donor, or is it specifically clinic focused? The quote on their site seemed to indicate it was about couples who used a clinic.

Has anyone else come across any good books for our kids? There are two we've picked up that are both really good. One is *Heather Has Two Mommies * (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1555835430/qid=1132322099/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/202-6544635-4695855) and my absolute favourite is *The Duke Who Outlawed Jelly Beans and Other Stories* (http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1555838472/ref=pd_sim_b_dp_1/202-6544635-4695855). The latter doesn't directly address the conception issue, but has several stories in it about kids who go off and have adventures, then come home to all kinds of family backgrounds, like two mums, two dads, single parents. Then in the final story the duke wants to throw everyone who doesn't have one mum and one dad in jail and all the kids from the previous stories rally round to stand up to him, and win, of course.

How are you holding up *Woo woo*?

Best wishes all round,

Gina.


----------



## Mable

Ah, good point Gina, this story is only for those of us using clinics.

For those of you wondering if this story would be relevant to your family situation the story goes - child asking 'do I have a dad?' - then there are lots of different kinds of families blah blah blah, mums really wanted to have a baby, so they went to the hospital and the doctors helped them make a baby, it actually says 'the nurse put the sperm inside her'. Then baby growing in the tummy then kid asking 'do we know anything about the man who gave his sperm', and this bit isn't up to date coz then it says we know his hair colour etc (whereas our sperm was id release) and we know he's a lovely person because he gave his sperm - ending with I am really happy my mums could do this and I am proud of us and our family. THE END

They have different stories for single women, those using egg donation, I haven't looked on the site to see if there are any for people using a known donor, inseminating at home or having a shared parenting arrangement.

I'm thinking of reading this story with my father, as he keeps asking 'but who IS is the father?' in such a perplexed way...


----------



## misty

Hi ladies!

I'm about to start a new cycle as soon as AF arrives, due next sat 26th Nov
so will be starting stimming once I've had my baseline scan on day 2/3.
I picked up all my drugs today so now I'm getting all psyched up again and 
starting to feel nervous/excited/frightened etc..If all goes well with donor
suitability we should be testing around xmas day...what a gift it would be to
get a  

TAMSIN:So sorry for you this time but enjoy xmas and dont give up 
            We were also with LWC until recently but have since changed clinics.
            Cant believe our luck with our new consultant.Such a difference!!

WOO-WOO: Good luck on your  .When are you testing?

TONIA2: Not sure if you had iui on 16th? Anyway, hope its all going well for 
            you.Good luck 

HEATHER:Good luck for Jan and enjoy xmas 

GINA&RAE:Good luck for cycle 15, 

KERRY:A huge belated hope you two are enjoying the pregnancy.
          You give me hope as im having my 4th iui in December and really hoping 
        for a miracle...any tips?? Having accupuncture at the moment and hoping 
        it will help ,drinking greentea with fresh ginger and downing 2litres of 
        H2O a day.Trying to cut down to 1 cup of coffee a day and of course
        reduce   which is a bit tough as I enjoy my red wine.Cant really 
        do anymore except stay +++

EVELET:Congrats on baby Jude and good luck for next try.

MABLE: Thanks for input on books.LWC already showed us these at our
          'complication counselling!!!'.. Thats what I call it anyway.


Luv and good luck to all

Misty & Bunny xxxx


----------



## woo_woo

Hey girlies

soz not been on for a while, going out of our tiny minds still!!! Lea had me doing a pregnancy test after day 7!!!! obviously it was -, so that kinda convinced me i wasn't, then common sense took over and i'm just waiting to see if i come on!!

Am p***ing like a racehorse at the mo though, feel very fat and bloated and keep getting bad headaches.  I'm sure all of these are psychological or phantom pregnancy type things, but cant help hoping!!

Good luck to everyone else

Woo xx


----------



## Tonia2

Hi all, Hi Misty & Bunny,

I ovulated late this month so have just had IUI number 4 this morning, ...fingers crossed... Will be testing on the 3rd December assuming AF doesn't arrive prior.  

Dr said we could try a new donor next time if we wished, we were pretty happy with the donor we'd chosen, but are wondering whether we should consider it. Is it standard procedure to try with an alternative donor if no luck in the first few tries?  He didn't really explain the rationale & I didn't really think to ask at the time... We get 6 attempts all up at IUI then will go on to IVF if no joy. Is that what your clinics do over there? Can someone explain ICSI to me? (Dr hasn't mentioned it but have heard others talk about it) How is it different than IVF?

I know about a few good kids books over here but don't have the details with me at the moment. (haven't bought them yet but am planning to). They're more about having 2 mums than about actual conception info though, ie. just about normalising the '2 mums & kids' type family.  It's a series of at least 3 books I think, and they're early reader style. I think I recall the publishers were advocating the books became part of the early school curriculum and the (lesbian) author introduced them nationally on PlaySchool a couple of years ago and there was a huge nationwide uproar.... 

Right now (I'm at work) there's some poor woman giving birth just through the wall. Literally.  Regrettably, one of the the delivery suites backs onto our office and I can hear every cry, groan, and swear word...OMG...I feel so sorry for her... it's been going on for hours now...The midwives here are great but OMG it sounds painful...  (sorry if TMI!!!)
You would think it would put me off though - it hasn't!! 

Good luck to Woo for the next few days and to Misty, & Gina & Rae, and to all....

Happy Christmas preparations 

Take care,   &   to all, 
Toni

PS Bron (g/f ) says hi!


----------



## midnightaction

Hiya everyone hope your all doing good !!! 

*Tonia* Congrats for your IUI today  

I have never heard of a clinic asking you to change donors unless they find out the there is a problem with the donor that your currently using..........it maybe that for some reason they just don't think you compatable !! 

ICSI or "Intracytoplasmic sperm injection" is mostly used when there is a problem with sperm i.e low motility, and it can not sucessfully get to the egg on it's own, but can also be used when there are egg issues and for some reason the sperm can not penetrate the outer shell because it is too hard. The procedure takes one single sperm and injects it straight into the egg thus much increasing the chances of fertilization.

I admit to not knowing all the ins and outs of it all, and I am sure there is much more to it then what I have explained there but if you visit the ICSI board on here I am sure you will find more info !! 

*woo_woo* ******* like a racehorse made me 

I hope the 2ww is not driving you to insane and your still positive about test day.........is test day on Friday ?? 

*misty & bunny* Congrats on starting your next cycle next week 

I too if all goes to plan will have a test date very close to xmas, I think a BFP would be the best gift any of us could ever wish for !!! 

*Mable* Thanks for the info on the books, it's sounds great and one I would certainly want to invest in if and when the time is right !!! 

Hope everything is going good for you and Edith !!

*Gina & Rae* Your holiday away sound lovely, I very much love the idea of lying in a hot tub, especially in weather like this !!! 

I'm also glad that you got to spend some quality time with each other and you have decided to cycle again !

    for number 15

Love to Tamsin, Kerry & Heather, thinking of you all and hoping you all doing good !!! 

Well as for me, scan went good on Thursday, my lining was lovely and thin so I have now started stimming.

I have a scan on Thursday to check how many follies I have, but if all goes well , egg collection is all set for 1st Dec........can't believe how soon that is !!! 

Love to all

Sarah xxx


----------



## Mable

Hi,
Tonia, are those books you mentioned available internationally on amazon or a similar site? I would be interested in getting hold of them.

Edith is doing fine, 18 weeks, she has a midwife appointment this week and should hear the heartbeat again. Otherwise, we are gathering gear from friends, got lots of second hand gear this weekend and we've been playing with it, with a bottle of water as baby.

 to you all,
Mable


----------



## friskypony

Hi Girlies.
Well it's all getting very real now, I'm almost 20wks well will be tomorrow...
Got a consultant M/W appt this aft to discuss C.section, crossing my fingers,toes and legs.  then got two scans on wed including the anomoly scan (we want to know the flavour) and then at normal M/W on friday am.
God busy baby week or what
My new boss is also VVV understanding as she's the only one who knows as yet.
Hope that you are all ok, Good luck to all those trying, fingers crossed to those waiting an mable Know how your feeling...

Love fRISKY & Pup xxxxxxxx


----------



## Mable

Hi Frisky,
Are you going for c section for any particular reason? Edith has a very low pain threshold but has surprised us all by going all 'natural birth' - even talking about water births and riding the contractions with no pain relief... Not sure if she realises quite how painful it is.

We also want to know the flavour but other people are so opinionated about not doing this so keep going back and forth on this.


----------



## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Frisky*, glad things are going well. I think I'd have to 'find out the flavour' (like the term) if given the chance, but that's me. R is adamant that she wouldn't, so we've agreed whichever one of us is pregnant gets to make that call.  And it must be great to have such a supportive boss too.

*Mable*, I've come across some excellent birthing books with techniques etc to support a 'natural' birth. You/*Edith* might already have read them, but if you're interested in a few recommendations, let me know and I'll pass on the details. Are you going to have someone else there supporting you at the birth? Numerous reports have shown how much of a difference this has made to women in labour trying for a natural birth. I can probably point you to studies if you were interested in them. They all generally refer to doulas, but any kind of support from someone who's been there before would help.

Best wishes with it all,

Gina.


----------



## Tonia2

Hi all,

*Mable*, I've just been looking at the website for the books I mentioned. They're great! I'm really looking forward to getting them.  They can be found at http://www.hotkey.net.au/~learn_to_include/index.htm 
There's 4 titles in the series (_My House; Going to Fair Day; Rainbow Cubby House; & Koalas on Parade_) and you can buy them online. They retail for AUS$14.95 for the 1st copy of each reader, then AUS$11.00 for any subsequent copies of each one. Overseas you will have to pay postage as well. I think they're pretty good value!! The subsequent copies are discounted to encourage people to buy them and gift them to schools etc as a community project - I think I'm going to buy a stack to give to our local schools, but also as gifts for everyone I know who has young children. They're colourful and amusing-ly illustrated and are written from the childs' point of view relating general everyday kinds of events (eg building a cubby house or going to the fair). Her two mums are just there as a general part of her world (ie they're not made the focus of the story) and she meets new friends who have two dads and so on. 
Enjoy! 

*Gina* we have a friend when we lived in Sydney that had a doula when she homebirthed her son, couldn't speak highly enough of her and of the whole process... I'm a bit jealous, there's no doula training or awareness down here  , Tasmania's quite rural and a bit backward in alot of ways...  any ideas on how I could train up a friend informally?? !!  I know, it's probably not really possible... 
Actually, I do have a 3 friends here who are (nurses &) ex-midwives... now there's an idea... (none of them have given birth themselves though...isn't that weird!)

They don't even allow home births here (I would be all for a home birth if I could & the pregnancy had had no complications or risk factors) - the closest neonatal emergency unit is a plane flight away (Melbourne or Hobart) and so they make it so you have to go to a maternity ward so that emergency transport is really quick if it's necessary. 
I 've thought about doing doula training too - I would be interested in reading some relevant studies & any ideas / books you recommend, to start doing some investigating. Thanks!

Thanks for your reply *Sarah*, good luck for the next few weeks!!

love to all,
Tonia


----------



## Mable

Oooh, Tonia, wonderful link! I think I've just bought the whole set!

Have also found a great US site that does baby/family record books for lesbian mums - hurray, i've been looking for one of these for months. It's www.twolives.com.

Good luck for your 2ww...


----------



## evelet

Mable - you made me laugh with your bottle of water baby. Feel free to borrow ours if you want to try any of it out for real! We do have a nice big spare carry cot (a Silver Cross one) if anyone wants it! Its a very choice blue/green tartan so discerning babies only please  

Re: good books to read about natural birth. All I can say is read anything you can by Ina May Gaskin. Although Ros was very unlucky and had an emergency c section she did labour naturally with no drugs at all for many hours, first at home and then at the hospital (with the help of our marvellous doula, Sue). Ina May's book just gives you a feeling that natural labour really IS a possibility. Sheila Kitzinger is another author we found very useful. 

We have 'My Really Cool Baby Book' by Todd Parr which is a baby record book with a LBG focus. We also have another one of his books - I think its 'Its Okay to be different'. There are quite a few childrens books with a LBG focus although it does take a while to search for them.

Hope everyone is ok and much   to all...


----------



## snagglepat

Hi all,

Tonia, I've done a little bit of hunting and there is one listing for a doula in Tasmania here: http://lifeoptions.homestead.com/NETWORK.html - although I've no idea how local or not that is for you. It made me grin to hear you talk of Tasmania being rural and backward in some ways. I lived in Melbourne for a while (97-9 and for the following three years was in a relationship with an Australian woman and most of her family were in Tasmania, so although I never made it there myself I feel a bit of an affinity with the place, and have heard numerous rural, backward type stories - all in good humour, of course!

As for training up a friend informally, I'm sure if you had a friend who you felt comfortable having with you it would be a fantastic thing to do. When I supported my first birth I hadn't done my doula training - the Mum was due a month before my training date. I was just well-read, and although I now know more and may have done a few things differently in retrospect, for the most part I was simply as supportive as I could be and the Mum and Dad really felt having me there made a big difference. I developed a good rapport with them both beforehand and knew what their expectations and desires were so was able to advocate for them, as I wasn't so emotionally tied up in the process.

You've had good recommendations of books already, but I'll repeat them. It would probably be worth both you and your to-be-birth-partner reading them. Ina May Gaskin is fantastic - try 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth' - it not only has numerous stories of successful natural births, but also talks about all the 'traditional' interventions from a completely natural and woman-centred viewpoint. Also 'Birthing from Within' by Pam England is a great one, focusing much more on the woman's journey through pregnancy and birth than anything else. Sheila Kitzinger and Michel Odent are also fantastic authors, and all of them come from the perspective of birth being a natural and wondrous thing that shouldn't need to be medicalised or interfered with unless there are genuine problems, which are rare. We are designed to do this after all. 

Ina May Gaskin helps to run a birthing centre in America where natural birth is the norm, and labour is supported by experienced women in a homely environment with no clock-watching or interventions, just excellent midwifery care. They transfer something like 3% of the births there to hospital, because that only happens when it is really needed, all the rest happen naturally with no drugs. Compare this to the average section rates in most of the western world!

Have you ever read anything about unassisted birthing? It's not something I could advocate professionally, but I have found it fascinating to read about this option, and do sometimes wonder if it's something I may choose for myself in the future. http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/ is a good place to start looking if this interests you, and I know (of) a lesbian doula here in the UK who birthed her children unassisted.

As for you training as a doula, do it! It's one of the most wondrous, life-changing decisions I've ever made and I have so found my vocation in it. The world could never have too many doulas. The link above may or may not be helpful there for things going on in Aus/Tas. Alternatively, if you ever come to the UK at all, the training I did was excellent and was mostly home study with a 3 day residential course in the middle of it, so you may be able to train over here/elsewhere in the world and take your skills back to Tassie.

Study-wise, Klaus, Kennell & Klaus have done some studies into what a difference having continual emotional support throughout labour can make. Any search with their names should throw up quite a bit of interesting reading. 

And once more I've demostrated that I really could ramble on about this stuff for days! Feel free to IM me too, should you so wish.

There are some great links here for books. I'm bookmarking them all for when our time comes. 

Best wishes all round,

Gina.


----------



## friskypony

Hiya Girls,
well we had all of our scans, tests etc yesterday and all looks GREAT.
We also know now that we will be the mummies of a little baby    
We are over the moon.
Told people in work today and Boy were they shocked he he he 

Love Frisky xx


----------



## evelet

CONGRATULATIONS    

and you are having a girl! all the lesbians I know who have had babies recently have had boys!


----------



## Mable

Frisky and Pup - Congrats on your baby girl! How very exciting. With IUI I think it's more likely to be a boy due to the fast swimming sperm but with IVF it could be either - I think we are going to have to find out now, I can't imagine how people can wait 9 months without knowing!

We heard the heartbeat again today, 133bts per minute which means it's a girl....perhaps.... It's such a lovely sound, and is very deep still in the pelvis which means that the majority of the bump is wind. 

 to you all,
Mable


----------



## snagglepat

Wow, *Frisky and Pup*. A little girl! That's beautiful. 

When R and I saw the specialist earlier this year she talked about us potentially having IVF she actually said that the chances of having a girl with IVF are slightly higher than having a boy, the opposite of the situation with IUI. I don't know where she got her stats from or how accurate they are, but she from memory I think she quoted us a 40-60 split boys to girls with IVF. According to her it goes up again with ICSI.  Bizarre!

I applied for a new job today, so fingers crossed there. It's a permanent post (at a different uni though) so I'd get full maternity benefits. Yey! If I get it I'd start in Feb/March so we could try with me then if we don't conceive with R first. R is currently premenstrual, so we should have an idea when the next insemination is due to be in the next few days. Here we go again!

Best wishes all round,

Gina.


----------



## woo_woo

Hey girls,

our first  , well spotting and neg test yesterday so that's pretty much a negative i'd say.  Reading Frisky and pups post has kept us positive though and looking forward to our next try already.  The 2WW is the worst ever though!!!

stay well all and   to all

Woo and Leaxx


----------



## Tonia2

Woo,
So sorry to hear your news, 
        
          hugs all round....and don't lose hope!  
      


Take care of yourself while you're feeling fragile
Tonia


----------



## misty

Hi Ladies!!

  FRISKY and PUP:   !!! And a baby girl..how wonderful,
                            we would love a girl..

  WOO-WOO: So sorry...   but for what its worth it rarely
                    works 1st time so just keep trying and t will eventually.
                    I know exactly how you feel as were on our 4th cycle 
                    of iui at the moment.Good luck with your next cycle.

    I had my baseline scan today and started stimming tonight.Next scan is
    on friday with possible iui on either sun or monday as I already have a 
    follie of 8mm on one ovary and 2 on the other of about 4 and 5mm.
    Doc thinks I'll have an early stimm response and sounds very  

    Wishing you all luv luck and  

    Misty xxx


----------



## evelet

sorry to hear your news Woo. We conceived on second month of trying via DIUI so hopefully you will have the same luck  

we are worrying about baby no. 2 already (although its not stopping us enjoying baby no 1 - he is nearly rolling over already!). R's periods haven't started again yet. Does anyone know how long it can take before periods start again? Will she have to stop breastfeeding to kick start her periods when we want to start ttc next year?

would be grateful for any info!

Good Luck to everyone in tww out there


----------



## snagglepat

Hi folks,

Really sorry to hear your news *Woo Woo*.  Try not to be too downheartened. Next time will be around before you know it and you will get there one day.

*Evelet*, periods and breatsfeeding after pregnancy vary hugely woman-to-woman. Some women start their periods again withing a month or two of birth regardless of whether or not they're breastfeeding and others don't start again for many months. It really is simply a matter of what is natural for R's body. The idea that you can't conceive whilst breastfeeding isn't true across the board, as many women will testify, but the concept had to come from somewhere and some women do find their fertility goes into a kind of stasis while they're breastfeeding.

Try not to worry about it though. You've still got some months before you're going to be trying again, and there's a very good chance they'll come back by themselves before then. If they don't and you don't want to stop breastfeeding Jude then come back to me and I'll quiz the doula network to see what options there might be for you for getting things happening naturally. I don't know how good/sensitive/aware of these things your GP is, but they might also be worth a visit if R still isn't getting periods after a few more months. They might be able to suggest something that would trigger one period, which might in turn get the cycles going again. I don't know enough about what medication would and wouldn't be passed on to Jude through the breastmilk though, and they would.

But do try not to worry about it. The chances are they'll start up again when R's body is ready for them to. She had a very traumatic birthing experience, and it's probably thrown her body about quite a bit. Her body might simply be saying it's not ready for another pregnancy yet as it's still getting over the last. But it will get over it, when it's ready. 

Best wishes,

Gina.


----------



## bagpuss1

Hi everyone,

No personals I am afraid, just a selfish post.

just an update on me and squishy.

Head was 3/5 engaged at my 32 weeks midwives appointment and now is 1/5 more engaged at my 34 week appointment!!!! Seems to be getting closer and closer to the end!!! everything is going well with pregnancy apart from feeling tired from time to time!!

Gina, we have to get together soon, house still isnt finished but if you can stand the mess, we could meet at ours for tea.

See you all later,

Kerry and bert or bertessa.


----------



## snagglepat

Hi Kerry,

Wow, that's really good news. I bet it's all feeling very, well, imminent!

No worries about the house - and you don't need to worry about food either, but yeah, it'd be good to meet up and get the antenatal visits happening, especially if you're still feeling as though you might go into labour early.  

I'll try to give you a call tonight to arrange when. It'll be lovely to see you both again.

Gina.


----------



## midnightaction

Hiya everyone, so sorry I have not been around for quite some time, been sooo busy !! 

Well I had my IVF egg collecton yesterday and unfortunately only produced 6 eggs. As I am egg sharing this was not enough to share so was faced with the descision of keeping them all or donating them all to my recipient !!! 

After lots of tears and soul searching yesterday DP and I decided to donate the eggs to the recipient, it just felt like the right thing to do, although I have to say when they took my eggies off to be fertilized with the other sperm I felt gutted and empty !! 

Anyway I feel much more positive today and hopefully I can cycle again in Jan when the clinic opens back up after Xmas !! 

Love to all of you and thinking of you.........will catch up with proper personals when I have a little more time !! 

Sarah xx


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## evelet

midnight action .... i am so sorry to hear that you only had 6 eggs. I don't know anythign about IVF but it seems very brave/kind hearted/generous of you to let them all go to you egg-sharee. I hope it happens for you next time. xxx


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## Mable

Oh my goodness, Midnightaction, I am stunned. Good on you...

 to you all - is anyone inseminating or testing at the moment, I think we've hit a dancing and singing vacuum.

Perhaps I shall do a little Westlife dance (standing up from a bar stool and punching the air at the key change) for Kerry to help prepare for labour and Heather to prepare the eggs in a fully organic way.

Mable (19 weeks and still no kicks)


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## misty

Hi Ladies!

  Just a quick post as im off now for my 2nd scan this pm. Due to have
  iui on sun or mon depending on todays scan.Have been stimming with
  puregon 50 since sunday so really hoping for some nice follies   

  Wish me luck that our dream will come true 4th time around...

  Will catch up later

  Luv Misty & Bunny xxx


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## Tonia2

Hi guys, 
just a quick relatively self-absorbed note to let you know my dear AF arrived early this morning in all her usual glory. 
I'm feeling incredibly utterly miserable, not made any better this time by the fact that I can no longer take nurofen (ibuprofen) for the subsequent period pain (recent research shows it can be harmful if taken by women ttc - not sure how or why but it was in the papers here recently. Aspirin too). ...So I'm doubly miserable!! I'm not feeling like I'm coping with it all as well this time, previously I've felt mostly positive and able to look forward to the next try -but today I've been crying on & off all day and not really being able to see forward. Not talking to anyone all day and an hour long walk on the beach and Sarah McLaughlan's _Surfacing_ CD has helped only somewhat...

*Sarah * - I think you're really, really brave, and generous - there's gotta be some good karma in that! it's so hard to do what you think is right when it hurts. 

*Misty* good luck for this cycle & the IUI in the next couple of days 

*Mable* -are you worried there's no kicks? When's the usual time to start feeling them? Here's a little dance to encourage bubs to start kicking:            Heh heh!!

Hmm, that's made me feel a little better, 
love to all, 
Tonia


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## woo_woo

So sorry to hear your news Tonia...... i can actually say i know how you feel now!! The first few days are poo! It does get a bit better though and you're right to focus on the next try, it's all there is to focus on i reckon!!!

Take care and chin up hun, that's interesting about the ibuprofen, is paracetamol ok? (just dropped a couple as minging headache at the mo!!

Woo xx


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## Tonia2

Hi Woo, 

thanks, I'm still feeling fragile but a little bit better today...one day at a time! 

yep, the official word (that I've heard) is that panandol is perfectly ok while ttc and during pregnancy. I think the problem with ibuprofen & aspirin is to do with the fact that they inhibit prostaglandins production, and thats not helpful when ttc! Someone else may know more. But you're safe with the paracetamol in any case!

cheers,
Tonia


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## misty

Hi ladies!

  Just a quick note to let ye know how things are going.
  Had 3rd scan yesterday which showed 2 follies of 17mm each and a really good
  lining,Took my last jab of puregon last night and have to take pregnyl at 
  2.am tomorrow morning with iui on Thursday.Consultant is really positive that
  with accurate timing and good quality     
  we should get a BFP.At the same time there are no guarantees but she feels I 
  will conceive very soon..warning us to protect ourselves.

Hope everyone is doing ok, have no time now to catchup but will do over the next day or 2.

  Lots of luv Luck and   to you all

Misty & Bunny


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## Mable

Hi,
How is everyone doing? Sorry to hear about your BFNs Tonia and Woo.

Good luck to Misty! Hope you get some good swimmers.

There may be a little bit of kicking going on, but just when I get excited it turns out it was possibly wind. I'm taking my stethascope home tonight as from 20 weeks it is officially possible to hear the heartbeat with it - not sure Edith will be very patient with me shoving it into her belly as she's stopped me doing all my daily midwife-type checks ("just lie back on the couch for me please...").

 to you all


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## bagpuss1

Hi Mable,

I too nicked a stethescope from work when I was about 21 weeks but couldnt hear a thing so dont be too worried if you cant. 

Is the placenta lying at the front? It is the one main cause of feeling no movements. I have been quite lucky with my kicks as my placenta was posterior until more recent.

Best wishes,

Kerry


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## Mable

Hi Kerry,
Thanks for that - after much prodding and some midwife-type checks we settled back to watch rubbish TV and lo and behold there was a load of kicking which I could feel with my hand on top of the bump! A great moment!


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## bagpuss1

Hi Mabel,

Thats lovely, it really brings it home to you when you feel bubs move. Gad everything is going so well!!

Gina came round last night for more doulaing work! She is gonna be great with us. Am actually looking forward to the experience thanks to her!!!

Kerry.


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## evelet

having a doula was THE best thing we could possibly have done, so well done you!

am sure Gina will be a fantastic doula


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## snagglepat

Aw shucks you guys. There doesn't seem to be a smiley for someone blushing and smiling at the same time so you'll have to just picture me doing that. 

It was lovely to see you both too Kerry, and I'm really glad you got to meet Rae too, however briefly. I'm picturing you revelling in the fact that this is your last day at work.  And it's great to hear you so positive about the birth, but then you've done so much preparation you're practically a doula yourself anyway!  Hopefully I'll see you both on the 17th (our party) if not before.

I'm beginning to get a little worried about our donor actually. I sent him a text message last week letting him know we'd be ready to inseminate again later next week, and we haven't heard anything. Think I might have to give him a call. He's usually very good at responding and letting us know what's going on for him. It's very strange, not wanting to be _too_ much of a pester but also really needing to get clarification. All we want is a 'yep, that's fine, see you then'. I hope he's OK.

*Tonia*, really sorry to hear about your BFN.  I'm a little worried about what you had to say about the various pain relief drugs affecting TTC. I take a quite a few, in hefty doses to get through the pain of endo with my periods. I take Diclofenac (a NSAID), paracetamol, and I've just been switched to morphine in a combination of tablet and liquid form after taking several other opiods for a bit. Throw in the anti-nausea drugs, the Metphormin for the PCOS and the lactulose to help combat that constipation from the morphine and I've got my own mini pharmacy. No-one has said that there should be a proble with TTC, but I might have to ask next time I'm there, just to be sure. Thanks for the heads up.

*Misty and Bunny*, I hope the IUI went well. I'm guessing it's happened now? Fingers crossed very tightly for you for the 2WW.

*Mable and Edith*, a big *YEY* for feeling bubs moving.  You must have been so excited.

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


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## misty

Hi Gina!

Just wanted to say thanks for thinking of us yesterday.

We had our 4th iui which went very well, slight bleeding afterwards.Testing
on the 22nd..... 
I had 2 dominant follies of 20mm so doc said there was a strong risk
of twins!!Would be very happy with one!! But blessed with 2!!
She has given me a sick note until 18th due to the fact that my work
is very strenuous and involves a lot of lifting.Feeling a bit guilty as im
not 'sick' so to speak and starting to get bored already.

Beginning to wonder whats going to happen if this is a   as we will 
probably tell DP's family on Christmas Day but my own mum still hasn't
been in contact since we fell out last july on my birthday.Seems the rest of my
family have gone into hiding as well and withdrawn contact.
Obviously we decided to keep this cycle to ourselves as a result of
everythings thats happened, but I just wonder how far a mother will go to 
punish and mistreat her own child.....sorrry for babbling, just need a little 
support from my own at the moment.

Hope your donor turns up for next week and good luck.

Hope everyone else is doing ok

Lots of luv and  

Misty & Bunny


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## Tonia2

Hi Gina & all- 
whew! You do have a mini pharmacy happening there!  I didn't mean to alarm you or anyone... I 've just found the news article on the web, here goes: 
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/painkiller-caution-for-early-pregnancy/2005/11/13/1131816810818.html

It's basically saying that aspirin & ibuprofen may increase the chance of miscarriage and that women may be taking it for "period pain" when they may actually unknowingly be pregnant- therefore to be careful. But it's not conclusive.

It doesn't say anything about there being a problem with taking it in the pre-conception period; though I thought I read / heard (maybe it was on the radio) that if you were activly ttc, but not pregnant yet and had your period not to take it anyway... so I haven't taken it just to be on the safe side. Consider that I could be a slight tad on the paranoid side though -I haven't had a coffee or any alcohol since March this year!! 

You may be able to find other links to the British study mentioned. From a quick web search it seems that up until now ibuprofen has been considered safe in the first 2 trimesters but not in the third. I couldn't find anything about the early pregnancy warning anywhere else so maybe it's just some weird Australian Dr spouting off...?!
It's worth a quick read anyway - see what you think!

love to all
Tonia


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## snagglepat

Hi folks,

Thanks for the good wishes *Misty*. I hope the next ten days or so fly by.   

Thanks for the links *Tonia*. I may do some more looking into it when we're closer to trying again with me. The trouble is that as long as I'm getting periods I have no choice but to take the drugs. If I don't take them, or even if I just don't take enough of them I end up in A&E, generally screaming the place down until they give me IV morphine anyway. (Tip of the day - if you ever want to get quick treatment in A&E, yell agonisingly, constantly, with plenty of expletives, and you get seen surprisingly quickly.) I don't need to start taking them until I start bleeding though, so it shouldn't be an issue when/if we end up trying with me. Interestingly, I've heard the opposite to what the doctor in that article says. My specialist told me that takiing half an asparin every day might help reduce the risks of miscarriage. *shrug* It's such a tough one, but I guess we've all got to find our own ways of being and staying healthy and accept that what will be will be.

Our donor has now got in touch, so we're all set for inseminating later this week. We may play it a bit by ear though. Our dog (well Rae's dog, with custody shared between us and R's ex) is very old and ill, and is going to go to the vets tomorrow so she can join the long doggy walk in the sky. She's 18, and Rae has always been devoted to her, so there's a lot of sadness around at the moment. Trying to make a baby the day after she goes may or may not prove to be a good thing. We shall see.

Best wishes all round,

Gina.


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## Mable

Hi,
Good to read all your posts. I put Edith on aspirin for the IVF to thin the blood and increase blood flow to the womb and egg production parts. Not sure if it was good for her or not..

Following all your doula info, I've been wondering if we need one. Can anyone tell me why we would need one - will another person not be in the way, will I and the midwife not enough at the birth? Please enlighten me  

Mable (21 weeks and kicks)
ps did you all see Westlife win 'record of the year' at the weekend - go boys!


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## Tonia2

*Hi Mable * 
My very novice understanding of a doula is that she is there primarily to support the mother giving birth - it sounds a bit obvious, but when you think about it, the midwife or Dr has the physical safety of both mum & bubs primarily in mind. Hence he /she is not so able to be responsive to where the mother is at emotionally at any given time (& perhaps rightly so). The mum's partner has her/his own emotions to contend with, perhaps other family members to be dealing with as well, and frequently may feel somewhat disempowered or confused by the medical team (Drs, midwives). 
So a doula can be an advocate and strong voice for the mum herself and also act as a bit of a buffer between the somewhat confusing world of medicine and the couple who are birthing, certainly giving support to the partner as well.

Traditionally I believe doulas are modelled on the tribal concept of older women in the community encircling & supporting the younger less experienced women; particularly in that incredibly vulnerable time of childbirth, providing emotional and spiritual support, informing, supporting & empowering. And my take is - who out of us doesn't need more of that?!!  Especially during such a vulnerable and formative experience... it's a bit like having a wise personal coach that you trust and can draw strength from.

That's not to say that everyone has to or should have a doula - I work in a ward next to the maternity ward and there's some fantastic midwives here, I would trust them completely. They assist birth after birth beautifully & independently. But sometimes there's only 2 midwives on and 3 women in labour wanting to push at the same time... they do their best ...but to have someone whom you know is not emotionally involved, can be utterly objective and there _just for you_ must be reassuring! I'm completely sold on the idea...!! I'm sure Gina has much more to offer, and I hope I haven't misled you... but that's my understanding anyhow.

*Gina * I'm so sad to hear about your & Rae's dog ... he's a member of the family and it's so hard to have to make choices like that... my thoughts will be with you tomorrow... 

 &  to all, 
Tonia


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## evelet

doula = your own personal childbirth cheerleader. she's there to support you as much as she is there to support the labouring mother. she can help in a myriad of ways from being the person who fetches water, ice, food etc to talking to the midwives/doctors on your behalf. she gives you time to go and cry in the bathroom because its so hard to see someone you love completely overtaken by such a powerful feeling. she will massage her back while you face her talking to her, holding her hand, stroking her head and hold the straw to her mouth. if things go wrong she'll explain all the medical terminology to you and help you decide what's best. she'll phone your family/friends with an update for you, she'll remind edith to eat, to breathe, to relax her shoulders, to low like a cow not squeal like a piglet. She'll remind you to eat, breathe, relax too. Best of all she's there in the room with you all the time. you are never left feeling panicky and wondering when the midwife is going to come back. 

as you can probably tell from the above, we are BIG doula fans. Our doula changed what could have been a totally horrific experience into something we have been able to process very quickly. she was a total and utter rock. i am not trying to scare you but its REALLY hard supporting someone through childbirth and I can't imagine facing it alone.

equally you can get a friend or family member to act as a doula. but ros and i felt that we didn't want someone we knew as a friend to be part of our own private longed for 'event'.

In fact, as Ros had quite a few problems (group b strep, crash c section) during the labour we were even more grateful for our doula Sue's presence. I don't know if another doula would necessarily have been as good although I expect they would have been. We have continued our relationship with Sue after Jude's birth too. She came to see Ros 4 days after he was born when she was struggling with breastfeeding and she has since talked through the birth with Ros on two occasions (a 'debrief').

Sorry for the huge post - I promise I am not funded by doula uk!


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## snagglepat

Hi all,

Yesterday evening was very bizarre here. R is totally devastated about Clee, so there was lots of upset and a generally very close, cuddly time. Then at about 10pm our donor rang. We'd meant to be testing for a surge, but had forgotton with all the dog stuff. We were expecting to be inseminating at the end of this week but after our donor gave us a prod we tested, and lo and behold, R is very clearly fertile right now. We had a very strange conversation, trying to work out what to do, whether it was a good or bad thing to try this cycle with all the emotional upheaval because of the dog. R decided she wanted to go for it.

So this evening we say goodbye to the old girl at 6:20 at the vets. At 8:30, our donor is coming over and we're going to try and make a baby. The circle of life could not be being illustrated more clearly than it is to us today. I've made R promise that if she does get pregnant this cycle that we won't name our child after the dog.

So, yeah, a bit of a strange day for us.

*Mable*, Tonia and Evelet have done an excellent job of explaining the role of a doula. Fancy a job as my marketing gurus you two?  Essentially a doula fulfills all the roles that midwives in this modern day and age don't/can't fulfill. With a doula, you get the continuity of care, and you know you'll have someone with you who is there completely and utterly for you as a birthing couple. With doula you have someone with specific knowledge both about the birthing process and what might come up during it, and of you, your own hopes, fears and wants. She can support you, be truly with you, give encouragement when it's needed and be a constant for you right the way through the birthing process. Unlike the birthing woman's partner, she isn't emotionally involved, and can remain objective whilst being attuned to the needs of the couple. She's not a part of the hospital or medical establishment so isn't tied to the same rules and regulations. As a result she can bring in other skills, such as massage or homeopathy, and she doesn't have to worry about completing paperwork at every stage, or ensuring the mother is progressing according to some arbitrary guideline about what should be happening when.

I have to admit I was quite surprised when I attended a birth in August at how little time the hospital midwife actually spent with us. Often over an hour would pass with no contact with the staff at the nursing station down the hall, and myself, the labouring mother and her partner were left to our own devises. I now know from talking with other doulas that this is normal. Midwives have so many other responsibilities, like keeping up with the paperwork, as well as dealing with several labouring women at once that they're simply not able to be there as an emotional support. Both the midwives we had at that birth were lovely, but they were clearly completely stretched. They did everything that was needed to ensure the birth was safe, and that mother and baby were fine physically, but they just didn't have the resources to offer emotional support or to be available to answer questions as they arose, confirm that things were OK every time that was needed, and due to the nature of their professional boundaries doing things like giving the mother or her partner a hug or shoulder rub.

A doula is also there before and after the birth and will meet with you ideally at least twice antenatally so you can get to know each other, you can talk through any questions you might have and she can support you with things like your birth plan, and what actually to pack in that hospital bag. She'll also meet with you afterwards, to offer support in the early days with things like breastfeeding if that's what you've decided to do, and any other questions as well as giving you time and space to debrief the birth itself. Some doulas also write up your birth story for you too.

You might like to check out the Doula UK website - link in my signature below. There's more info on there. And if you want to IM me feel free.  I'll happily give you my phone number if you'd like to chat through some of this by phone.

But also don't worry. Having a doula isn't for everyone, and many woman have wonderful birth experiences without one. It's not something that you should feel under any pressure to go for if it doesn't feel entirely right for you. Do feel free to ask as much as you want though. 

Hugs all round,

Gina.


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## snagglepat

Hi all,

Just to let you know we inseminated last night. The donor didn't make it to us until gone 11 in the end, so we're both completely knackered today. R had a medium strength surge line last night so it seems all the signs are pointing at her ovulating today. Our timing appears to be spot on this cycle, amazingly, given we'd probably have missed it if our donor hadn't prodded us. Now all we have to do is hope that 15 is our lucky number. I imagine we'll test at the beginning of January if AF doesn't arrive before then. Here goes another 3WW.

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


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## suzy

HI snagglepot,

Hope you don't mind me crashing your thread. Have read some of your on line diary and have been fascinated by your story and the way you write. 

I just wanted to send you commiserations about your dog. We had to put ours down a week ago and it is so so painful - pretty much the most difficult thing we have ever had to do. She was a much loved family dog and we miss her heaps. I too have had the dilemma of whether or not to go ahead with treatment. We are set to start IVF tomorrow though and as you said, we shall see.

Good luck this cycle,

Suzy


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## Jayne

New home this way

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,44218.new.html#new


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