# The Royal Infirmary Edinburgh : Part 37



## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

New home ladies


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## Bunny-kins (Oct 3, 2008)

just marking page girls!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

morning girls - got a phone call yesterday from GCRM to tell me that out of the 13 eggs 12 were suitable for injection. So i should get my fert rates later on today!      xxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry - thats great news xxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

just got my fert call.... only 4 out of the 12 are gd. i'm so so soooooooooooooooo upset


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

awww berry at least you got 4  hoping they work 4 u xx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Berry - try to remain    and remember it only takes one.  I only had two suitable but I still got my BFP.


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Berry,

4 is great you only need one to stick.  GCRM are great and remember they will do whats best for you.  Hope your wee eggies are dividing like mad as we speak.

Feeling better today, must of had the day 7 blues, still not convinced about the result but not thinking implantation pains.  Keeping busy though today as it takes my mind of things.

Don't think I can make Sunday we are doing some decorating and although I'm not helping feel that I should stay at home and keep DH company.

Hello to everyone else.  Peanut, how you bearing up?

Vonnie


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

well finally got our appointment through this morning its on 29th june with Dr Raja at 1.30pm     
theres sum forms 2 fill in aswell   

can anyone tell me what to expect form this appointment  

michelle xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Ceri - thank you for the new home!  

Berry don't worry that means you have four top quality embies. I don't know if they check when you do IVF the way they do with ICSI, any old rubbish could slip through. I bet most of mine were dodgy, but since they don't offer any screening at ERI you don't know do you. Sorry waffling, but as Owen and half the ladies on here will tell you quality is everything. Are you going for SET?

Emily hi there! I think you may have fallen foul of the FF lost post abyss.   

Vonnie sorry you can't come. When is OTD for you?

Michelle great news that you are moving forward. As far as I recall the meeting is mainly Dr Raja talking and showing you diagrams to illustrate how IVF/ICSI works. He should go over your blood tests and your DH's sperm analysis and they will probably take blood for the AMH test. I don't think you get a lot of time to ask questions, so write down any that you may have. 

No news on my dad yet, but hopefully I will hear from my mum later on (probably have to phone her from work). Still have stoopid coldy thing, lots of people are complaining that it is going on and on. I think it's that volcanic ash cloud myself. Grr!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

marta- thanks hun. I have no idea about what quality the embryos are... all i know is there is only 4 and i feel poo about it all. I have had so much going on the past few days- found out when i was talking to my london Dr about the immune results that he was ment to have given me a px for a drip called Intralipids... and i never was givin it. So now i need to have this drip done today! Trying to arrange it in less than 48  hours has been a total nightmare! But it had to be done. Just everything seams to be against me right now, and i feel like i have done everything possible and it just doesnt matter. I'm so so sooooooooooooooooooo  upset


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## macgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

Just came on quickly to check what was happening re Sunday.  I think I am going to struggle as have kitten visitors in the afternoon but let me check and come back on later.  The idea of an evening meal is good though!!


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Oh Berry I wish I could give you a massive hug      You have still got 4 embies, try and keep yourself strong for your wee embies xxxx

Marta hope you receive good news about your dad    Have sent you a pm too.

Sorry I can't make the catch up on Sunday. Though Caroline your plan of an evening dinner meet up sounds like a great idea!!    Well done on receiving all the positive feedback about your studio   

I am still cycling - the two wheel variety!! - and am doing a 45miler tomorrow. Think I may get soaked on my way home today though   

Michelle pleased to hear you have your letter and it isn't far away   

Vonnie and Peanuts, hope you are doing ok and not going too loopy on the 2ww!!    

Jan and Owen - hope you are both doing well  

Hi Mac - your kitten is so cute! Definitely going to get a puppy in the new year.   
Big hugs to everyone else xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi

The insurance said they will cover the op    Now just need to get a date for it to be done, not sure whether to get Dr T to do it or go with the Dr that did my original cyst op.  Will need to decide that over the weekend.

Berry - So sorry that fertilistation rates werent good but hoping and    that the embies you have got are good ones. 

marta - Hope your dad is ok   

Hi to everyone else


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Michelle - Sorry forgot to reply.  At the appointment they go through all the process of things and dates when you might start.  Also talk about whether you want to have one or two embryos back, they will encourage you just to have one.  So worth thinking about what you want to do.  Also talk about success rates.  Really advise writing down the questions you have otherwise they just go out of your head with all the info you get given.


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

That is good news Pumpkin   

xx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

martakeithy - pumkin-pie thanks for the info I'm getting excited cant wait to get started  
what would you's recommend re how many embryos 2 put back?


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Michelle - Have sent you a PM


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pumpkin-pie got your pm have sent one back thanks xxxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Just wanted to say to Berry - I only got 4 embies this time and only had one put back   ! Hang in there!
Love
Jan xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

girls, girls, girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got my phone call from clinic today and the embryologist said my embryos are gorgeous !!!!!!!!!!!!!!  all 4 are grade 1's (we have never had grade 1's b4) and 3 are 5 cell and 1 is a 4 cell    So the embryologist said we have defo to go 2 blastocyst stage. Just praying so much that we have 2 blasts on tuesday. Thanks for all the support so far! xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Great news Berry, its all about quality and not quantity!


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Great news Berry! Wonder if it's the same embryologist (David, I think?) we had - he was just lovely - made me laugh and very good at explaining stuff. Am willing those embies to stay gorgeous!     
Love
Jan xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

silver- yes David phoned me today- he was lovely


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Berry - thats fab news on your embies, so please for you hun     Looks like things are looking up for this cycle   

Anyone else up for meeting up today or is it just me and Marta?  We're not that scary you know!   

Hopefully see some of you later on, will be back later to check

Big hugs  
Dxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

just checking to see what's happening today. I'm going to head up shortly so hopefully see some of you soon.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi, sorry been out this morning and dont know what time you will be there until.  Hope you have a nice chat and hopefully make it to the next meet.  xxx


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## MoH79 (Feb 26, 2010)

Just bookmarking the page.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Peanuts and I met up at the National Gallery Cafe, it was very nice to have a chat and catch up. 

Peanuts I hope this week flies by for you sweetie.       

Pumpkin, great news about the insurance, things are picking up a pace now. Get that PMA out!!     


Berry that's fantastic news about your 'gorgeous' embies. See it's the quality, don't you worry. You didn't want more than four children did you!   

Vonnie how are you getting on? Hope you are keeping calm.     

Sorry not to be able to meet you guys, but I would love to arrange another meet-up whenever, coffee or a meal whatever suits, or both?! Yum.

I'm off to the ERI tomorrow AM for a scan and bloods, so will report back later.....


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Marta - Good luck for tomorrow.  Sorry we didnt meet up today, although I have been to a couple of the meets its never been when you are there - maybe next time!! 

Hope everyone had a good weekend, lovely to sit out in the sun for a little while


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

marta- ur funny. I dont think i would b able to cope with 4 kids! Good luck for tomorrow- will b thinking of you. xxx
Pumpkin-  hows u? xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Some good news at last, just emailed my consultant who did the op for me last year and he has just got back to me just now (the advantage of going privately they get back to you really quickly even on a Sunday night!)  and he is going to do the op at the end of the month.  He is on holiday but will go and see him on 24th and then get the op on the 26th or 28th.  Feel really happy, which is strange considering I am going for surgery but you know what I mean, it means we can move on.  He says he will remove the cyst rather than drain it.  

Berry - I am well thanks, feeling a bit better about things.  Also had my hair done yesterday and feeling good! How are you doing, managing not to get too stressed?  Do you get a call tomorrow to hear how things are going?  Really praying that this will be your time.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

pumpkin- great news about you being able to move on now!!! Ohh getting your hair done always makes u feel good. I really need mine done. I'm not too stressed..... just worried in case i go for ET on tuesday and there is no embryos to put back. GCRM told me they will phone me tomorrow only to give me a time to go for ET on tuesday.... they will not update me on embryos as they dont want to disturb them in incubeator.... so i'lll find out how they r when i'm there for ET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

hope you all have a chance to enjoy the sunshine today.

Pumpkin that's great that you have a date and something to focus on. What's the the new 'do' like?

Berry tomorrow's the big day. How are you feeling?

My news is that I went to have bloods taken this morning and was told to phone back this afternoon to see whether they would want me to return on Tuesday.
Phoned just now and they are asking me to come back on Thursday because it looks like I will ovulate on or around day 14. She had said I might need to go in every morning, but thankfully not. Apparently they do the every day thing if it looks like ovulation is going to occur early.
Phew so have a few mornings free, I am on holiday today and tomorrow so it's good not to have to get up and drive across town.
The nurses keep asking me to bring DP with me, even though he has a form to sign and has signed half a dozen forms up until now. It's a bit of a pain because DP has work and DS has nursery in the morning on Thursday. I did say DP would be bringing me for the transfer itself, but they want him to come in before then. Has anyone else had this when doing a FET.
DP thinks it's daft if he is signing a form to approve the transfer he doesn't see why he has to take time off to go in for five minutes just to show his face.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

hey girls,

Just had call from embryologist. My embryos r doing ok (thank God) All 4 r still there. (well, they checked them yesterday- and now they said they will not touch them until tomorrow) My ET is at 1pm. Yesterday the embryos were at 2x9cell, 1x8cell and 1x6cell- no fragmentation. I’m so so sooooooooo nervous about it all. But really looking forward to being PUPO again. 

Marta- Glad ur bloods results came back gd. So when will ur ET b?? xxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hello,

How is everyone.  Berry fab news and good luck tomorrow.  Sure everything will be fine

Martha, good news on your bloods.  ET date? U must be getting excited about it.

Pumkin, fab news on the insurance.  It will be all systems go.

Peanut, how you doing.  

Into the 2nd week of the 2ww and everyday that passes I'm sure the WW is on her way.  Seeing so bloated at the moment that mu trousers are really uncomfy, not fair if I get a negative as at the mo I look about 5 months pregnant.  Even dreampt I was last night, but just need the loo.  Both DH and I agreed that this has been the worst 2ww ever.  If its bad news I jsut want to know as I've got a plan to get uber fit and lose a stone for my next tx.

Anyway off for tea, and hello to everyone else


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Vonnie - repeat the mantra - THIS HAS WORKING, I AM PREGNANT!!        You need to think happy thoughts - just think me you and Berry can all get big bumps together!!    Then we can all get fit and back in our skinny jean after!      

Berry - good luck for tomorrow hunni     Looking forward to hearing good news from you   

Marta - great to catch up with you yesterday, really enjoyed our bleather   .  Well done on the news that yu don't have to go back until Thursday, here's hoping everything else goes to plan.   

Pumpkin - yeah, fab news about your sugeon - service with a smile!    Here's hoping the rest of the plan comes together so well   

Big hugs to everyone  
Dxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello everyone

Peanuts and Vonnie - Hope you are both ok and hanging in there.  The 2ww is the worst isnt it.  Thats the bit of treatment I am really dreading going through again.

Berry - Good luck for tomorrow

Marta - Thats good news you dont need to go back till Thurs

Hope everyone else is ok


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

pumpkin-pie said:


> Some good news at last, just emailed my consultant who did the op for me last year and he has just got back to me just now (the advantage of going privately they get back to you really quickly even on a Sunday night!) and he is going to do the op at the end of the month. He is on holiday but will go and see him on 24th and then get the op on the 26th or 28th. Feel really happy, which is strange considering I am going for surgery but you know what I mean, it means we can move on. He says he will remove the cyst rather than drain it.
> 
> Berry - I am well thanks, feeling a bit better about things. Also had my hair done yesterday and feeling good! How are you doing, managing not to get too stressed? Do you get a call tomorrow to hear how things are going? Really praying that this will be your time.


Pumpkin, thats great news to hear you have an appt scheduled to get going with your operation, good luck hunni xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

berry55 said:


> hey girls,
> 
> Just had call from embryologist. My embryos r doing ok (thank God) All 4 r still there. (well, they checked them yesterday- and now they said they will not touch them until tomorrow) My ET is at 1pm. Yesterday the embryos were at 2x9cell, 1x8cell and 1x6cell- no fragmentation. I'm so so sooooooooo nervous about it all. But really looking forward to being PUPO again.
> 
> Marta- Glad ur bloods results came back gd. So when will ur ET b?? xxx


Best of luck for tomorrow Berry, i hope all goes well , will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx good luck hun xxxxxxxxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

I'm PUPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we have 2 blastos on board..... 1 is a 4ba and the other is a 4bb. 4=grade 1 in my clinic.  xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Berry - Yeah, thats fab news wishing you lots of luck ,   ,   ,   and


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Fab news Berry    Sending you a massive virtual   !!

Sorry for being a rubbish poster, but as I am not going through tx I am trying to fill my brain with non tx stuff!! Doesn't mean I am not thinking about you all constantly!!

Pumpkin have you got a date set for your op yet?   

Vonnie and peanuts hope you are coping ok, you are into the 2nd week, sending you lots of positive thoughts    

Marta pleased to hear your tx is progressing  

Big hugs to you all xxx


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## Nathalie1975 (May 18, 2010)

just bookmarking


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

berry - great news.  Hoping you will be joining me soon in the next stage after your BFP.  Sending you    and    and hope the 2ww goes in quickly for you.

Vonnie and Peanuts - hoping you are both getting through the 2ww and sending you loads of    too.

Marta - hoping tx is going well for you too girl

I would have loved to have met up on Sunday but am suffering extreme 24hr sickness at the moment, am signed off work and have lost half a stone in a week as no appetite and having to force myself to eat anything then struggling to keep it down.  Feeling dehyrated but managing at least to drink water now.  Blooming?  blooming awful more like but have heard that it's a sign of a strong pregnancy so just hanging in there and hoping the next 3+ weeks to my 12 week scan on 11th June goes in quickly.  Hoping it will all be worth it in the end when I have the baby in my arms.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Irishlady - Yes its going to be next week.  Seeing consultant on Monday to discuss but hes booking me in for either Wed or Fri.  Its a bit scary not knowing exactly how big the op will be but it cant be any worse than last time!

Owenl - So sorry to hear you have been sick but as you say its a good sign for the pregnancy.  Hope you start to feel better soon, being sick is horrible


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all, 

Just a quickie to say Yay Berry!!! PUPO!! Cool! No emoticons, I'm using quick reply. 

Owen oh dear, I do really feel for you. Good that you can drink some water now. Have you seen your GP, they gave a friend of mine something to help with her sickness. I agree very good sign for strong pregnancy.

Pumpkin still chuffed for you at  your news. 

Off to beddy bo's now....


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi ladies,

just a quick one to find the new thread! - Started to read, but only got as far a page one - sorry!
I am so busy, and this is my holiday week! Moved the first lot of my workshop on Sunday and have since then decorated. Moving the second lot to the uni today. Then more decorating   .

Just wanted to see how you all doing and sending you all a   .

Love,

C


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Caroline you sound very busy with the workshop. What kind of workshop is it? I have been wondering.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

We went to the ERI this morning and I took along DP. They looked quite relieved to see him, I don't know what they thought I was up to. DP was joking about me looking like a desperate woman trying to pinch all the embryos. I was wondering if it was the fact that I broke into the storage freezer with a cool box the last time I went.   
We have to phone this afternoon to see when transfer is likely to be, but they thought most likely day would be Monday.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta- glad it went well for you today. So... u broke into the storage freezer?? u r crazy! lol xxx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Just wanted to quickly post to wish Peanuts and Vonnie good luck as you approach the end of 2ww.  Hoping we will be celebrating more BFPs.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

come on peantus and vonnie!!! whoooppp whooop!!!!! xxxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi girls!

Well done to Berry - those sound like some great embies! Thinking     for you now!

Hoping for good news from Vonnie and Peanuts - not too long to go - though I know it feels like forever.

Our news is that we had a scan yesterday and we saw an embryo with a heartbeat! We've never seen either on a scan before, so this is a huge step forwards. I have to say though, sounding horribly ungrateful, but I really don't feel reassured much. I think the problem is that I've come across a few blogs in the last couple of weeks of women who've seen heartbeats at 7 or 8 weeks and then lost the baby before 12 weeks - so all the stuff about the heartbeat reducing chance of mc has kind of washed away a bit. Reading the posts before their mcs - all cheery and full of confidence - and then the horrible news that it's gone wrong - awful. This is also alongside the fact that we have been very unlucky through all of this - we have always fallen on the wrong side of the statistics. So it's very hard to believe that this could come out well.

Sorry - it all sounds very self-pitying - and I know I should be bloomin grateful that we're in this position - and I am pleased, I really am. But stupidly, I'd thought that all the anxiety (or some of it) would go away after the viability scan and it really hasn't. I'm also feeling terribly guilty about a couple of my mc pals who I couldn't see when they were pg, because I now understand what a state they were in  .

Anyhow - I decided to be practical, contacted the rec mc folk and they'll scan me again before 12 weeks and I'll just have to take everything one step at a time. And more than ever, I want BFPs for you lot - there's such a brilliant bunch of girls on here and you all _deserve_ success so much! 

Love
Jan xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

silver- dont you dareeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do not even dare!!!!!!!!!! You need to be very positive now!!!! this is it!! you have done it!! you  have seen ur baby and it there and its heart is beating!!!! Come on hun!!!! you must keep posiitve!!!! i mean this is the nicest way!  I''m soooooooooooooooo happy for you hun!!!!!! yeyeyeyeyeyeyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! 

Did u have a 6 or 7 week scan and do GCRM charge u for it? if yes how much?  

xxxxxxxxxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi Girls,

I'm officially losing it.  Thought I was doing ok but had a major panic attack at work about tomorrow. I just want to get to test day without the old witch turining up, so far so good and not even been knicker checking as its a case of pee, wipe and run (sorry tmi).  Convinced she is on the way and the pain seems unbeareable but not sure if its mind over matter.  I'm gasping for a glass of wine to take the stress away but can't even do that.

Anyeay this time tomorrow the waiting will be over, praying its good and I can get this last sleep done, saying that came in from work and feel asleep until DH cam home.

Peanut, finger crossed for tomorrow.  

Jan,  that is fab news for you.  Take one day at a time but its all good you've got a strong baby growing in you now so take it easy and try not to stress out.  Easier said that done mind,

Anyway, off to make tea will be back tomorrow come good or bad news.

Vonnie


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

vonnie- i'm thinking about you hun.... will b praying for you tomorrow. Keep positive! This is your time hun xxxxxx


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## Nathalie1975 (May 18, 2010)

Hi there,
is this thread only for women having IVF? I am treated at the ERI but not IVF (yet...). I have had 3 failed cycle of clomid and I am about to start injections of FSH (puregon). Anyone having the same ?


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

HI girls

Sorry I've not been on - lost a hugs post on Tuesday and was too tired to retype it all    been thinking about you all though   

Nathalie - hi hun, and welcome to our wee thread   .  Yes this is the place for any type of fertility txt at ERI, even though we're on the IVF pages.  Sorry to here about your journey to now, but hoping that the FSH injs do the trick for you     Let us know how you get on   

Vonnie - oh hun      . So feeling your pain hun, have been going insane all week - up and down like a yo-yo on a hourly basis!   Oh a glass of wine sounds good - but unfortunately it'll be another 8 months for us both before we can have that glass!!   Keeping everything crossed for you hun               

Silver - Ditto what Berry said - I know how hard it is but you must keep your chin up and think happy thoughts!   And stop reading other threads with bad news stories   .  You're right, you've been on the wrong side of the statistics so many times - that this is the time to be on the right side of them        I know some of the immune girls I'm in touch with have had private scans every 2 weeks through their prg!  Hoping he EPU can get you in in a couple of weeks and help put your mind a little bit at ease    

Ownel - sorry you've been so ill, but hoping thats a great sign for you    

Marta - great news about the staff finally meeting DH    Just as well he was able to make it, or you might have been escorted from the premises   Good luck for ET on Monday      

AnneS - busy bee    Hope you manage to get some time to relax on your hols and take in the sunshine   

Pumpkin - good luck for your surgery, hope it goes well and you can get back on track with things   

Irish - how's was your cycle from the Borders at the weekend?  Hope you survived?  

AFM - bit like Vonnie, going insane!!  Just about to go pick my parents up from the airport, so hoping that they'll be a good distraction and not drive me more insane    .  Still have no symptoms either way, and I usually have by now on the 2ww, so I'm terrified of what the results going to come back with tomorrow.  Been knicker checking like mad today!  I think everyone at work thought I had a wee problem as I kept disappearing to the loo!   

Will let you know how I get on tomorrow, but just wanted to say a big thank you to all my ERI FF's for all your support and advice over the last few weeks - it has really helped me from tipping over the edge!

Big hugs     
Dxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Silver - That is fab news about the scan but can understand that you are still so worried about everything.  Sending you   

Peanuts and Vonnie - Good luck for tomorrow   Hoping that we are going to have lots of celebrations   

Nathalie - Hello and welcome  

Hi to everyone else hope you are all ok. What a lovely day today, its been so hot, shame I was working!  Hope it stays nice for weekend.  Feeling a bit emotional about next week was telling one of the girls at work and started to cry!  I just wish I knew exactly what they are going to do and how long recovery will be but guess I will know more on Monday


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## Nathalie1975 (May 18, 2010)

Peanuts and Pumpkin: thanks for the welcome messages. 

Peanuts I am crossing my fingers for you for tomorrow!


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Wow you have been a chatty bunch!!  

Peanuts and Vonnie wishing you both all the best for tomorrow and praying for good news     

I survived the bike ride back from the Borders but only just, had to get a train from Longniddry back to Edin as the wind was a complete killer, still did 37 miles though so not too bad   

Silver so pleased for you that you heard a heartbeat and hope you can try and have some positive thoughts now   

Pumpkin I am sorry to hear you have been upset and really hope that after the op next week you can start to focus on the next tx. I reckon zoladex affects your emotions loads as well. Do you feel your symptoms different the 2nd time - cause I did? 

Berry hope you are still positive!!   

Welcome Nathalie   

OwenL sorry to hear you have been so sick   

xx


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## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

Peanuts & Vonnie- just wanted to send bucket loads of              for tomorrow.

Jan-  so pleased for you, another step in the right direction  lots more           to you too.

Love to all
Maz x


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hi everyone

I've been lurking and keeping up with you all, sorry I've not been posting, it's just been a bit of a hectic time but not in a bad way.

Just wanted to wish Peanuts and Vonnie the very, very best of luck today.           I'll be keeping an eye out for your news.

No real news this end.  We start our 2nd cycle in July (fingers crossed for a better result this time). 

Weirdly enough a girl in here announced she was pg yesterday.  She's 14 wks exactly yesterday, the same as I would have been had we gotten a BFP.  Weird.  But oddly enough after the initial stomach-dropping feeling I'm ok!   Was expecting a complete collapse but I'm fine! 

Anyway, just a quick post as am at work.  Will definitely post later and will include more personals. 

Love
RJ
xxx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

RJ! Lovely to hear from you   

xx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey Irish!!

Hope you're doing well, chicken.


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Just wondered if there was any news from Peanuts or Vonnie?  Will check later.  
Reikijan - good to hear from you again.
Irish - hope you are doing OK.  Well done on all that cycling!
Pumpkin - hope your op goes well and you can look forward to tx again.
Silver - can totally understand why you feel worried.  I am the same, the fear doesn't seem to go away even after a BFP, just taking one milestone at a time.  My ms has more or less gone today - should be over the moon but of course no symptoms is a worry too incase things haven't gone to plan.  Now want to be sick again for re-assurance
Nathalie - welcome to the board - I've found this board a great support throughout my tx.


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

No word from Peanuts or Vonnie? Am praying that they're both too busy celebrating to post.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello, just checking in if there was any news.  Really hoping no news is good news    Thinking about you both  

Reikijan - Hi, how are you.   

Irishlady - Definitely had more headaches this time round with the zoladex and the flushes are terrible in this hot weather!!  

Owenl - Hi,   

Heard today that the op is going to be Wednesday still not sure exactly what they are doing but will find out Monday
Hope everyone has a good weekend.  Having a pampering weekend with a massage tomorrow and out for dinner hopefully.  Also need to do some gardening as have bought plants for the tubs but might just sit and relax after thats done!


----------



## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Hello girls!

I thought I would pop on to see how everyone is doing and to update from my 7 week scan today - I hope no one minds and I hope it brings encouragement to those in the whole process...

GOOD NEWS!!!!! We have a strong wee bubba on board with heart going like mad - yippee! 

Such an amazing experience - I was so nervous lying on the bed waiting to be scanned, DH holding my hand...he was so nervous too and i don't think anything prepares you both for how it feels waiting on that 1st scan.

The doc walked in and I was delighted it was the same lovely lady who had done my EC and ET during ICSI. Plus 2 of the nurses we have got to know well were there. The doc asked how I had been feeling - I replied 'sick as a dog, but happy!' lol, then while I lay there shaking like a leaf she scan me with the internal probe thingy.

I didn't even look at the screen til I heard doc speak as I was so scared of looking and seeing an empty space. Then, she said those beutiful words : " Well, I can see one little baby with a good strong heartbeat!" I burst into tears and said "Oh thank you god!" and I really meant it with all my heart, DH was quite emotional too. 

The doc had a good look to make sure another wasn't hiding (we had 2 embies transferred). But she confimred one. One is one more than my wildest most wonderful dreams, so we are both over the moon! Back again in about 4 weeks for 12wk scan and EDD is 6 January. The nurses even gave us a hug on our way out!

This is such a precious experience and I have never felt such pure joy as I have both on the day we got our BFP and today. Wonderful in the truest sense of the word. Thank you all for the good wishes and kind thoughts along the way ladies.
Hugs, MrsB xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Polly - That is fantastic news, congratulations


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey Pumpkin girl!    I'm doing good thanks.  Took a half day today to relax in the garden.  Of course I might have relaxed a bit too much...fell asleep and am currently bearing a close resemblence to a lobster...   

Polly that's really, really wonderful.  I'm delighted for you.    Even had a wee teary thing going on while reading your post.  It's fantastic.  xx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hello,

The wait continues for me, cock up at the clinic and ome results hadn't been phoned through.  Guess whose were one of them so another days wait but still no spotting so fingers crossed.

Just a quick one as we are jsut about the take the dog out but just wanted to fill you in, your posts have been great and kept me going when I was waiting for the phone to ring

Vonnie


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Oh Vonnie that is a nightmare. Not sure how you are coping as I don't think I could have managed another night.


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Brilliant news Polly, so pleased for you and dh   

xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Vonnie, thats torture.  Sending you    and       for tomorrow


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Fingers and toes crossed Vonnie!!!!       

What a nightmare though!!!!!


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Vonnie that is such a nightmare about the results. Only one more sleep.

just a quickie to say we are off for the transfer tomorrow morning. I had the blood test back on Thursday afternoon and had a high LH so they thought Saturday would be fine. So off for 11:30 tomorrow.
Will report back later. I'm a bit excited now, not too much, but a bit. I hope at least one makes it through the defrost.


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Sending you lots of         for tomorrow Martha.  

RJ xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Good luck for today Marta


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

marta- good luck hun!!! thinking of you!
Vonnie- How annyoing that must be driving you up the wall!!!! xxxxxx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Sorry I didn't get on yesterday, spent the day entertaining my parents - which was a great distraction, but really busy at the same time.

We got a BFP yesterday - HCG of 63   .  We're so over the moon, but so nervous and worried at the same time.  This is the 5th time I've been here and can't let myself get excited yet.  I know that must sound silly to some of you, but its the only way I can get through the next couple of days and then into next week and then a week at a time.

The clinic are going to take me in next week for a repeat HCG to try to give me some reassurance that things are going in the right direction, so If I can hold on to next Friday I should be a bit more with it!!

Marta - good luck for your ET hun     Let the 2ww madness begin!!   

Vonnie - big hugs cycle buddy and 3ww buddy!    

Big hugs to everyone
Dxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Congrats to Peanuts, !! wonderful news, hope all goes well for you , keeping everyhing crossed for you.

Marta - hope all goes well today for you - good luck.

Quick hello to everybody else, hope you are enjoying the sunshine..its a glorious day today     

I am bit upset this morning, got a letter from clinic today saying that my AMH results are sub optimal, 2.5 to be precise, i'm gutted    although realistically i should have expected this, given my age i spose..?  but the letter just sounded so negative, and coupled with dh's morphology decline then its not looking good but just need to keep positive for starting my busrelin injections on tuesday.

Has anyone else had low AMH results...? and how did this impact on response to stimulation etc..?

On a good note though, i also got my smear results back and all clear there      and i also got our replacement NHS cards thru the post so we have got all our ID sorted for the paperwork side of things.

Have a lovely weekend ladies, enjoy the sunshine !! xxxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Peanuts - Thats fab news    Hope next weeks results give you some more reassurance

Vonnie - Hope you get your good news soon   

Minihaha - I know its hard when you get disappointing news but hang in there, people still get BFPs with poor AMH and poor sperm, it only takes one good egg and one good sperm  

What a gorgeous day, just back from walking the dog and sitting in the cool for a little while.  I have a massage booked which is lovely but would prefer just to lie in the garden than have to go into town


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

WHOOP!!!  Yey Peanuts!!  Just keep positive, I know its hard when there are so many previous disappointments.  xxx

Minihaha - ditto what Pumpkin said - it just takes one egg and one sperm. Try not to torture yourself thinking about the negatives.

Peanuts, know the feeling, except that DH inconsiderately invited his parents around this afternoon so this lovely weather is going to be seen through the kitchen window as I'm cooking for the afternoon. But as I'm sort of strawberry-coloured this morning from yesterday, it's probably a good thing.    Although.....a massage sounds BLISS!! 

Morning Berry - how are you today?

RJ xxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Sorry - not Peanuts - PUMPKIN!!  Clearly head up me jacksy this morning...


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Peanuts - great news on your   .  Hoping the follow-up test next week brings you some re-assurance

Marta - good luck for ET

Vonnie - hope you get good news soon.

Well all my MS has dissapeared today, been out for a walk with the dogs in Cammo.  Now worried about lack of symptoms.    everything is still OK as no scan for another 3 weeks.  More energy and beginning to feel hungry again.  Still tired and thirsty so hoping that's a good sign.


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Peanuts -                        

So chuffed for you! The ERI thread seems to be on a bit of a roll -   for everyone else!

Owenl - totally with you on the disappearing symptoms front - most anxious-making. If you do get frantic before the scan, you could always give the pregnancy support folk at the ERI a call - I always keep that in the back of my mind for when I'm feeling stressed about it all.

Hope everyone's enjoying the gorgeous weather - catch some sun and fresh air for me - I'm on the couch writing reports!

Love
Jan xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Second attempt to post grrr.

Peanuts that is fantastic news. As you say it is all a series of steps and without a BFP none of the consequent steps would be available so it's all there for you. It is hard, but now you have had the immune treatment perhaps you can start to relax a little. I think you will just sail through this, but take each step as it comes and take pleasure in tiny victories.        

Polly that's great news about your scan. I'm so happy for you.   

Vonnie any news?    

Everyone thank you for being lovely and for all the good wishes for today, you are all sweethearts.
This is the story The clinic phoned this morning to say that two of the embryos had made it, so we avoided worst case scenario. We went over and I was in and out in about 40 minutes, very quick. The embryologist: Louise (I think) was very nice and said that one embryo had been a nine cell on freezing and had lost one cell on defrosting so was a grade 2 8 cell, the other had been a 6 cell on freezing and had lost 2 cells so was a 4 cell, I think grade 3? Anyway, she was happy with them and said they looked good. 
I had Dr Raja for the transfer, seemed a bit stressed and could have been a big more gentle (ouch), but everything went well and it was super-quick.
So that's it. No progesterone, the said I should be able to make my own for a natural cycle, so feel a bit nervous about going 'cold turkey' after all the drugs last time.
So Barry and Foo-foo are back on board. I'm not going to dwell on it though, just want to continue on as normally as possible.
Am slightly concerned about whether or not to do my run tomorrow, but probably will.


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

What a lovely afternoon it is ladies. Anyway clinic called today and its a







from me as well. Honestly didn't think I'd be posting that. So happy but nervous at the same time and like Peanut I'm taking one week/day at a time. Im for my scan on the 16th of June so not long as I've got a holiday to fit in to Ireland.

Anyway kinda in a state of shock at the mo, especially as HCG was 430! So a lot going around in my head at the mo. DH wants to keed it quiet at the mo, but I had to share it will my FF buds.

Will be back for more later as want to enjoy the sun

Vonnie


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Vonnie - Congratulations     the waiting was worth it   So pleased for you 

Marta - I just love the names you give your embies   Hope  Barry and Foo Foo are making themselves comfy

What a lot of good news we are getting here, must be the lovely weather, I think in Chinese Medicine they say that spring and summer are better months for conceiving!  Lets hope the good news keeps going for everyone   

PS. The massage was lovely, am totally chilled, am now out of the sun though as might fry with the oil!!  Off out for dinner later then need to watch Over the rainbow final!!


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Vonnie and Peanuts - Yiipppppppeeeeee!!!! I am sat here crying reading both your posts - wonderful news, I am delighted for you and I will be thinkng of you and praying all continues to go so well. Huge congrats! 

Minihaha - hello! I just wanted to quickly post to tell you I too had low AMH (3) and I am only 30 so I was, like you, gutted. We ended up on stimms for a few days extra, but I got 5 eggs, all 5 fertilised, 2 embies on board and now just over 7weeks preganant. I cried for days when I got my low AMH result, but it can still work - I am proof!! And my DH had low motility and high number of 'morphed' sperm. Anyway, I hope that helps hun.

Thanks ladies for the lovely replies re the 7 week scan - really kind of you all. xxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

whooooppp whooooooooooooopppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp congraultions to vonnie & peanuts!!!! xxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Vonnie -     - Hurray! And, can I just say, very quietly, sounds like twins with an HCG like that!!

Am off to start a "pg after treatment at eri" thread, so we can panic about symptoms or lack of them without upsetting anyone over here. I remember all too well what it was like when a few girls got pg and continued to use this thread and I don't want to inflict that on our buddies here - this needs to be a safe place for folk to come when they're ttc. I think those of us who have been lucky this time round are very aware that we could be back at any time and reminders are painful.

Love
to all,
Jan xx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Right pg girls - have set up a thread over on "Bun in the oven", then "Pregnancy general chit chat" - honest to goodness, never thought I'd be posting over there!

Here's a link:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=237370.0

Love
Jan xx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Brilliant news Vonnie     !! So pleased for you and dh

Hi Marta, love the names of your embies   Congrats on being PUPO

What an amazing day! Had my breakfast, lunch and soon to have barbie outside - bliss!! Then to watch   - really want Sophie to win!

Hope you are all having fab days, and   the run of BFPs continues

Xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

marta- congratulations on being pupo!!!!!!!!!! xxxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Vonnie that is fantastic!           Like that dancing dude! It's really positive on here isn't it. Just lovely to have so many BFPs.

Mini I forgot to respond to you, JSparrow and I'm trying to remember the other lady, but they both had low AMH results and both went on to get their BFPs. I'm not sure how reliable this AMH test is TBH, it is quite new and from what I've read some people aren't even sure what it shows and how much it varies. YOu will be fine!


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Vonnie - congratulations on your   , looks like we are getting a spell of good news on this board.


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Wow!! The sun is shining outside and on this board as well!!

Congrat to Peanuts - I can totally understand your caution, but am keeping everything crossed for you that it works out this time...     

Congrats to Vonnie!  A very high HCG!  Brilliant news!!

Congrats to Berry and Marta on being PUPO - I have fingers, toes, arms and legs crossed for you both..!      

Pumpkin - I hope your op goes well this coming week - at least you will be able to get on with your next tx soon..  Big    to you x

Mini - I had a low AMH (2.6 I think) and I got my BFP second time, so it works.  DH had sperm issues too so don't give up hope - it all depends how you respond..     

Silver - I will see you on the PG thread as agree with the sensitivities of posting on here..  

Polly and Owen - hope you are feeling ok, the time is going fast - your next scans will be here before you know it!

Hello to anyone else I have missed - Reiki, AnneS xx

I am fine - 19 weeks now and have my 20 week scan a week on Friday.  That is the big milestone for me and then I will feel a lot more relaxed.  Low risk for Downs etc so that was good.  Bump is protruding now - having to move into maternity gear, something I never thought I would do!  

Lots of love to everyone  xxxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Polly30 said:


> Vonnie and Peanuts - Yiipppppppeeeeee!!!! I am sat here crying reading both your posts - wonderful news, I am delighted for you and I will be thinkng of you and praying all continues to go so well. Huge congrats!
> 
> Minihaha - hello! I just wanted to quickly post to tell you I too had low AMH (3) and I am only 30 so I was, like you, gutted. We ended up on stimms for a few days extra, but I got 5 eggs, all 5 fertilised, 2 embies on board and now just over 7weeks preganant. I cried for days when I got my low AMH result, but it can still work - I am proof!! And my DH had low motility and high number of 'morphed' sperm. Anyway, I hope that helps hun.
> 
> Thanks ladies for the lovely replies re the 7 week scan - really kind of you all. xxxx


Polly thanks so much for your reassurance on the amh levels...i do now remember reading your previous posts and your low amh was mentioned. Congrats on the bfp and i hope your pregnancy continues to go well xxxxx I was devastated this morning when i got the letter even though i knew with my age that it was likely my reserves were low..but seeing it in black and white was hard. thanks hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Congrats to Vonnie    wonderful news xxxx 

Well what a glorious day it has been today, i have walked for miles in the sunshine but have got a bit burn on my shoulders, forehead and nose. I had sunblock on but obviously not a high enough factor....i think bcos there was a lovely breeze i underestimated just how hot it was.  Me and DH went to his mum's for a bbq late afternoon but we didnt stay long as i knew i would succumb to tempation and have a few wines and i am trying to be good. We then walked home just in time for me to catch the over the    results programme. Was really glad Dannielle won although i did like Sophie too. 

I hope everyone has enjoyed the sunshine...life really sometimes seems better when the sun is shining   

Thanks to everyone who responded re my worries on amh levels, i think all the walking i have done today has helped me refocus and lose some of the negativity i was feeling this morning. I guess its always best to be armed with all the facts and go into treatment knowingly. I am trying not to google about amh levels but i know i will likely give in to tempation....

Just wondering though about the protocol i am on. I am doing long protocol, due to start busrelin injections on tuesday. I spoke with my friend today who got her au naturale bfp a month before her treatment began and she said my amh levels are similar to hers were and she was advised that her treatment would be short protocol (this was at GRCM) she suggested phoning clinic on monday and asking if short protocol might be a better option..what are your thoughts on this ladies...is it worth a try or is it at the stimming stage that adjustments may be needed for low amh if i'm not responding...?  any advice would be appreciated.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone...gosh monday's dont half come round quick !!

K xx

K xxxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Sparrow, lovely to hear from you. I was smiling when you wrote about moving into maternity gear. It's a bit like a dream really, to be at that stage. Very happy for you. Good luck at the scan.  

Mini I think it would be a good idea to contact the ERI to ask about the protocol. I think the AMH test is supposed to indicate low ovarian reserve? so would have thought it would affect the number of follies and therefore the stimming stage would be most important, just a guess though.
I think they are unlikely to use the short protocol with you because it hasn't been used on the many ladies on here for whom the AMH test was lower. Do you know what your FSH levels are? I don't know, but perhaps if they were high then perhaps they might do it?
The fear for the long protocol, seems to be that down-regging would 'switch off' your body if you are nearing menopause or if you are a poor responder to the drugs, so they would probably want to see that there was a problem with the long protocol before changing.
There's a thread here which goes over both protocols if you want any more info http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=157768.0
Good luck with it!


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Marta, thanks very much for your reply and also the link to the thread on the protocols xxxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

WHOOP!!!  Go Vonnie!!!!        

It's amazing to see so much good news on this thread.  I don't know about the rest of you but it's really giving me hope for my next cycle. 

DH's cousin in Doncaster is having FET next week.  ET on Tues and is her last attempt.  I've told her all about the good news here this weekend and the good feelings and positive energy (to get all new-agey on your asses   ) are spreading and hopefully highly contagious.

Congrats to Martha and Berry on being PUPO too. 

RJ
xxxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Morning Ladies,

How are we this morning, thank you for all your posts.  I still cant believe that after 4 attempts we got a positive.  Its still early days and freating about every twinge already just want to get to my scan and see a heartbeat and then I'll stress for the next one!!

Jan, I had wondered that myself but not thinking that far ahead.  I tested a day later than I would at the ERI so just going on the premise that it implanted early and its a singleton.

Minihaha, I too got a low amh result tested at (3.96 & 6.20) so don't give up hope.  I did response better the the ERI protocol but never got a positive, I was on long for all attempt.  When I moved to the GCRM they put me on a flare protocol which they use for low amh'ers and although I got fewer eggs they are sticking around this time.  I don't know when you are due to start but it might be worthwhile calling them.  They have a Edinburgh Clinic with is really handy for scans etc.

Congrats for Martha and Berry on being pupo, how are you feeling?  Taking it easy I hope.

Peanut, how's the weekend going?  Didn't realise you are back next week for bloods.  Glad they are doing that and it will put your mind at ease on things.

Pumkin, good luck on for your op next week and and you can get tx started asap.

Anyway need to do as got a hungover hubby who wants a drink in bed.  He is so taking advantage of this designated driver situation nice and early - boy he's in for a shock.  Hello to JSparrow, Polly, Reiki Jan, Anne S.

Vonnie


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello everyone

What a fantastic day today, so sunny    Hope everyone is well and enjoying the lovely sunshine.  Its been a great week here full of good news and hoping that news continues for Berry and Marta too.
Can I just say that I can understand why the ladies who have got their BFP want to start another thread to chat about pregnancy things but please dont forget us here and come back and let us know how you are getting on.  I know I cant speak for everyone but I like to hear how my FF are getting on as your good news reminds me that this is possible and to keeping hanging in there.  So please keep in touch   

Off to see consultant tomorrow so will find out what the plan is


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Pumpkin I agree with you, it is nice to hear how the successful ladies are getting on, makes it seem more 'real' and attainable. Please don't disappear.


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Been busy with my folks across.  Had a lovley day out and bbq at a log cabin in East Lothian yesterday.  Then back along to North Berwick for ice cream on the beach today!

Feeling a bit bette about things today - thank you for all your lovely messages   

Mini - I'm another low AMH girl.  Never had it tested before but came back as 2.9 this cycle.  I ended up with 13 eggs!  So please don't give up!   The only tend to try short protocol for girls with a large number of eggs, as its usual to have less eggs with SP.  The Buserelin sounds scary, but as long as you drink lots of water the symptoms aren't too bad - jsut get DH trained to jump at your every command and you'll be fine    

Pumpkin - massage sounds lovely - very jealous!  Good luck with your appt tomorrow, hope the plan is starting to coem together   

Vonnie - they're just taking me infor repeat bloods dur to my history and me begging them that I needed some reassurance that numbers are moving in the right direction.  Will hopefully stop me going too insane in the next few weeks!  Oh think there might be 2 in there!!   

Marta - how you doing hun?  hope you're taking it easy after ET!  Cograts on being PUPO!        Do you have an leftover protgesterone pessaries - might be worth using them up   

JSparrow - wow, 19 weeks already!  Good luck for your scan on Friday, I hope it helps put your mind at ease   

Owenl - I'm sure it'll just be things settling down.  Hope your still taking it easy though!   

Big hugs to everyone else   
DXX


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,
Peanuts I'm laughing at the winking face!   Funnily enough I do seem to have some left over pessaries.  
Sounds like a lovely day, it really has been gorgeous. Nice and relaxed seems the way to go. So when do you go back in for bloods?


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi folks,

Went to check on the new pg thread and it's been moved to the midlothian section - here's a link:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=237370.0

Pumpkin and Marta - that's really kind of you  . I couldn't forget the girls on here - and like I said, I'm very aware that things could go wrong for me yet, and I could be back for real. But if it doesn't upset people, I'll update occasionally and I'll definitely be on to see how everyone's getting on.

Marta & Berry - good luck with the 2ww!  
Mini - I had low AMH when I did my last IVF with my own eggs and I still got five eggs (they were rubbish, but then, it turns out they were rubbish way back when I did my first IVF and got 16 eggs on a minimum dose of stims, so clearly had no AMH problems then!!).
Pumpkin - good luck with the apt - hope it brings a plan.  
Peanuts, old pal! Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. When my wee sister asked how I was feeling and I said "tired and worried", she said "Great - good practice!" - charming! Know exactly where you're coming from on the worry front - think we're just going to have to live with it, sadly  .

Hi to anyone I've missed. 
Love
Jan xx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Hi Girls
I won't forgot anyone on here either and will continue to post my updates as I get them.  Just don't want to bore you all with my symptoms or in my case now my lack of symptoms which is getting me very paranoid and worried that things have gone wrong.  Like Silver I am very aware that things can still go wrong so I'm not celebrating yet.  Obviously this is my last shot anyway, if it doesn't work I have to move on but it doesn't mean I don't want to check in and see how you are all doing.

Lisa


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey everyone

Pumpkin - hope all went well at the consultant's today.  Fingers crossed we could be cycle buddies this time round!   

Hope all the expectants are doing well today! 

Quick post as am at work but    to all! 

RJ
x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello ladies

Well good news and bad news    The op is going ahead on Wednesday, he cant do it keyhole because of the internal scarring and adhesions from my surgery when i was little.  So will be in hospital for 3-4 nights.  He says it might not be endometriosis it could be a haemorraghic cyst which he says would still be treated the same but is better as it doesnt stick to anything and also means the endo isnt back.  He chatted a bit about the options if it is endo and if it keeps coming back ie. having to have the ovary out but hopefully its not going to come to that.  The best scenario is to remove the cyst, to have the next cycle of IVF, get pregnant, breastfeed and hopefully suppress the endo - if only it was that easy    
So going to be off work for several weeks again.  Will just need to see how it all goes.  He is going to contact the RIE to see when they will want to see me to start the IVF but am guessing it will probably be a couple of months.  So might be end of August or something like that.  So at least I know whats happening now and am able to plan things or cancel lots of things as has been more the case!  

Hope everyone else is well and keeping calm, chilled and stress-free


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Hi Pumpkin, pleased to hear you have a plan but shame it can't be keyhole and you will have to delay tx. You sound very strong and together - proud of you!   

Take care   xx

Hi to everyone else - again as Pumpkin said I still want to hear how all you pg ladies are doing...so please don't disappear!! It really does give me hope xx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hiya pumpkin, glad to hear that the op is scheduled for wednesday and you don't have to wait any longer. I hope all goes well and surgery is successful and that you can get going with treatment very soon after your convalesence. Wishing you the very best of luck m'dear xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey Pumpkin

Glad to hear you sounding so positive about it all, there's no point in thinking about worst case scenarios because they rarely, if ever, happen.

Delay to tx is annoying but it's only an extra few weeks really and you'll need that to recover fully. It'll fly by and you'll be doing cartwheels before long.   

The very best of luck for tomorrow.     
RJ xxxx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Pumpkin - so glad that you've got a plan for Wednesday and as RJ says don't be worrying about the worst case, as its not going to happen!   Wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow     

Just sneaking on before heading to work, feeling a bit better about things, just trying to think positive and get through to Friday for repeat bloods!

Big hugs to everyone else    
Dxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Pumpkin I'm glad to hear things are finally moving for you. It is a pity they can't do the keyhole surgery, but I have a feeling you would rather just get it done and move on as an over-riding motivation. You seemed to heal quickly last time and in the nicer weather I hope you are up and jumping around in no time - here are some pom poms to get you in the mood.     
Hope it all goes very smoothly tomorrow and you are back with us ASAP.    

Peanuts not long to go for the bloods, I'm glad you are getting a bit extra looking after. Take care!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hey girls,

pumpkin- glad things r moving for you  now hun! xxx

marta- how u doing? Have u gone crazy? i have lost it now... i really just wanna cry all day... not because i feel hormonal... just beacuse i wanna act like a big baby! lol I feel really really negitive this time.. well ok... i know i always do.. but more so this time. Its weird. xxx


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## Nelly Mac (Aug 27, 2009)

Hi everyone!!   
I've not been on here for ages but have just caught up on all the good news on here!   
I'm so happy for all the BFP's so far and pray that there will be more and more - and yes Berry - that means YOU too!!!!
I just had to come on when I read about all the talk about low AMH levels.  Well, I do hope that any girls who have had a low result will realise it's not the end of the world.  I think I had a lower result than most - only 1.5 BUT I'll be having my twins in 7 weeks!  I think it's an evil test and when you are going thro tx and trying to stay positive, it only adds to the worry.  It's quality not quantity!!!!

We had ICSI as originally it was a MF problem, so we had a double whammy yet it did happen for us, 3rd time lucky!
I just wanted to say keep your chins up... It can and does happen.
Afm - I have 4 weeks left at work, counting every day now, soooo big and the heat doesn't help!  
Huge    and     to my old ff pals on here and Pumpkin - great news about getting your surgery - I know it's not great that you have to have more surgery... but great that you'll be able to start again with tx.

All my love and       for everyone going through, and about to go through tx... 
I'll be checking back to see all the BFP's happening!

Helen xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi just a quick message for me, just been getting my bag packed for tomorrow!  

Berry - Try to keep calm and positive, as hard as it is.  Sending you   , if you want to cry, cry but not for long, sometimes its better to get it out.  I keep crying at the moment, everytime I have to tell people I'm going into hospital I get weepy!  Keeping Kleenex in business at the moment!  Its my way of coping with everything, a wee cry then get on with things!    

Thanks everyone for your good luck messages, will hopefully be back on when i get home which hopefully will be the weekend.

Nelly - Cant believe you only have 7 weeks to go, its gone so quickly.  

Marta - your pom poms never fail to cheer me up   

Peanuts - Good luck for Friday,  

See you all soon


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Just a quickie as I'm off the bed as shattered, but wanted to wish Pumpkin good luck for tomorrow

Vonnie


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

punpkin- lots and lots of luck for tomorrow hun xxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Berry - Just noticed that you only have 2 days to test date, that seems to have gone by so quickly, although maybe not for you!  Wishing you all the best and      that when I log back on you have some good news to celebrate


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

I'm afraid it's all over for me.  early scan showed baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks and no heartbeat   It was our 3rd and final attempt at IVF so no chance of a future with kids for us.  Just wanted to wish everyone the best and thank you all for your support throughout my IVF journey   Got to find some way of moving on but just can't think straight at all at the moment and can't see any light at the end of a long tunnel


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

owenl- i'm so so so sorry!! i just dont know what to say!!!!! Please take care of yourself. xxxx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Oh Owen I am so unbelievably sorry for you and DH. Words fail me...

We are all here whenever you want to chat     

Take care xx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

owen im so sorry to hear your news    thinking of u and dh just now xxxxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

owenl - have left a message over on the other thread, but I just wanted to send you lots of hugs and love and say how very sad and sorry I am   .
Love
Jan xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,

Owen I have just seen the results of the scan. I'm so sorry this has happened. Life is so cruel and unfair and unkind sometimes. I know there isn't much I can say at the moment, but please take time for yourself and your DH to grieve your loss. I would like to offer any support I can, I understand this is probably not the best forum, but I will send you a PM, just in case you feel like chatting later. So sorry!      

Berry I can imagine how nervous you must feel, it's not long now sweetie, stay strong!       



Nelly it's great to hear from you, time has really flown hasn't it!


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Owen - I am so so sorry to hear your sad news.  It is so heartbreaking for you and your DH, no words seem adequate. 

Lots of love and hugs xxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Just to let you know that I'm going for a scan tonight. Between the odd black/brown stuff coming out with the remains of the Crinone gel and the lack of significant symptoms, the recurrent mc consultant reckons I should be checked out. She's on duty on the labour ward tonight and is going to fit me in at about 6.30 and scan me herself. I had my first midwife apt this morning, which felt very strange - I told her how anxious I was and that I wasn't even sure there was still a baby in there and she was lovely - kept all the questions and info to a minimum. Keep everything crossed for me - really scared!
Love
Jan xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

silver- thinking of you hun!!!!


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Jan,

Send you loads of     for tonight.  I will be thinking of you both   

Take care
Vonnie


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

aawww silver  everything will be ok xxxxxx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Silver - hope it goes well for you.  There surely couldn't be more bad news on the board.

Just to say thanks to everyone for your kind words and support over the last year.  I'm probably not going to be round now for a while - have joined the Moving On & Accepting Board on here to try and find ways to cope and have also joined More to Life.  Me and DH now have to concentrate on trying to get our marriage back on track - it's been going downhill for a while now and the whole IVF thing has made things worse.  I feel I could probably live without kids if most other things in my relationship were solid but sadly they are not.  Prior to getting to top of IVF list we were happy without kids thinking we would never get to the top of the list due to my age so I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel of we can find each other again, otherwise we will separate in order to be able to move on and try and find something or someone in life that gives us enjoyment.  So the next year or so if going to be just as hard for us but in a different way.  

I am signed off sick until 14th June, I still have a lot pf pregnancy symptoms except for the bad MS with all the hormones flying around, which is very depressing in the circumstances and D&C not until next Thursday, I then have a week to recover physically and me and DH are going to Turkey for a week on 11 June to try and spend time together and make a start on communicating and having fun again then it's back to work.

Also going to try and build up my dog walking business again when I get back so that I can give up my job at WGH which is unsociable hours and not good at all for building bridges and making new friends and having any sort of social life.  It's going to be hard but hopefully in time things will become brighter.

good luck to you all in your fertility journeys.


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Owenl - You're sounding so calm and sorted out   . I know you'll be feeling miserable, but having a plan definitely helps. The whole ttc/IF thing is HELL on relationships - DH and I have had some absolute humdingers of fights and threats of divorce and spending time being very separate. The last year and a half when we didn't do any treatment and were coming to terms with the idea of not being parents has definitely been good for us. We traveled and did lots of the things that we'd not done a lot of for the 5 or more years before - going out, seeing friends etc etc. It's definitely a good idea for you and your DH to get away together and concentrate on each other. And the dog-walking thing sounds brilliant - keeping fit, getting fresh air, meeting people. I hope you'll let us know how you're doing - though I totally understand the need to have some time away now.

Just quickly - thanks everyone - our scan was fine. The doc now wants me to be scanned roughly every week till 12 weeks and I wasn't going to argue with her. I know there's still a lot that can go wrong, but we're very grateful to have had some reassurance and to have made it through another week.

Love
Jan xx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Just hopping back on to wish Berry & Peanuts LOADS of good luck with their bloods tomorrow!
                            

Love,
Jan xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Owen thank you for coming on here and posting that. I hope you and your DH can get things back on track and that this experience can bring you closer as a couple. Taking time out seems a great idea, but please come back on if anything concerns you or you need support, particularly with the D&C.
I have PM'd you.

Silver I bet that's a weight off your mind. Great news that you are going to have regular scans, must be reassuring for you.

Pumpkin how are  you today sweetie? Hope yesterday went smoothly.

Berry how are you? Was your test day today?

Peanuts good luck for tomorrow!

I'm just popping in, have had no symptoms so far, apart from a bit of a bad back and some leg cramps, but today I was out shopping for clothes and I had a real wave of nausea and felt a bit faint. Mind you, that could easily be my stupid inner ear thing going on the blink. So still not much happening. Oh well only another week until I get a blood test. Ho hum!


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Oh, thanks Silver, that answers my question about Berry!
Good luck tomorrow Berry sweetie.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

good luck for berry and peanuts 2morrow xxxxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Just want to wish Berry and Peanut good luck for you bloods today.  Vonnie


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Ok girls.... i dont know what to say.....

I have been for blood test... wont get results until after 4pm. So my clinic gave me a HPT to take away... when i got home i did it (i svaed my 1st pee of the day) and it came up a faint positive. So, me being me thats not good enough... i went and bought some more. I did a clearblue it came up a strong positive, i did a clearblu digital it says pregnant 1-2 weeks and i did a 1st response... strong positive. I dunno.. i'm scared its gonna be a chemical...

I phoned Dr Gorgy to tell him, he was all happy and told me to phone when i get my beta results. I dunno... i feel kinda sick.........................


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry hope u get a good phone call soon xxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

hi all,

Berry oh you must be on tenterhooks. That is fantastic about getting a bfp even though I can tell you are freaking out. Big deep breath! Where is this bloomin' blood test!!?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

I just got the call my hcg is 179!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)




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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Fab news Berry, now just relax for the next 3 weeks.  At work so will be brief as currently hiding while texting.  Out tonight at satc, girls night out with cosmos and me as the designated driver!  Oh how I don't complain at that, long may in continue.  Jan great news about your scan and the fact that they are going to monitor you.  Owenl how are you, don't know if you will read this but I truely hope you both pull through this stronger than ever and that you take all the time on the world you need to sort things out.  Peanut, how are u?

Better go as leaving in 10 mins.  vonnie


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry so pleased for you      xxx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Fab news Berry     spinSo happy for you and DH!!!!!!!! 

Jan pleased to hear it went well yesterday and they are seeing you weekly.   

Owen thank you for your lovely post. Take care   

Peanuts how did it go today?   

HI to everyone else, especially those going through tx.

Vonnie, enjoy SATC I can't wait to see it and might go on Sunday   

We are off to our local for a couple this evening, it has been a horrible working week and am so glad it is over!! We are off to Tuscany on Tues for 9 days and am in countdown mode!!  

lots of love xx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Berry - that's fab!! What a great HCG level - not looking AT ALL like a chemical pg!          
Are you going to have another to check for doubling? I must say, I found it a huge reassurance.

Irish - Enjoy Tuscany! I've never been but would love to go. My sister and family went last year and LOVED it - were talking about finding a way to move there! Have a lovely relaxing time   .

Just had my first migraine with aura for three years! Started them when I was 11 and got awful nausea and headaches. In my 20s they stopped for a bit and came back as "focal migraine" - the aura without the bad headache. Mind you - I'm so good at spotting the early signs and taking painkillers that it could just be that I'm heading them off. For the last 3 years, I've had some nasty headaches, but this is the first one with aura for a long time. Very, very scary - losing vision in a little spot, then it gets bigger and I start getting weird zig-zag lines. I'm always scared I'm having a stroke - and since migraine with aura increases you risk of stroke in pregnancy, I was even more scared today - went home to my mum and dad, since DH was at work. Feeling much better now, but must tell high-risk folk next week. Just hope all is well with the pg!

The worry just seems to be constant   !

Love
Jan xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

thank you girls! xxxxx 

I am still in utter shock!!!!!!!!!!! I can not beilive after all this time and fails after fails i have finally made it!!! I know its very early days but i feel much more confident that this immune tx is working for me. I have another hcg blood test on monday at 10.10... also Dr Gorgy asked me to get my progestrone levels checked... do u think my clinic would b bale to do this for me? 

xxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Berry,

Like Silver says I'd get them retested.  I wish I did as it would stop me stressing about my lack of symptoms.  Anyway SATC was good, not as good as the series but good to take my mind off things.

Vonnie


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Berry - big congratulations!!!  I am totally delighted for you!  Try and relax and I am sure it will all be fine...

Hello to everyone else!

xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry you crazy woman! You have so got a BFP!! I'm laughing, very happy for you, you deserve it.

Sliver that sounds alarming, things like headaches can increase during pregnancy I think it's because your blood pressure goes up to pump all the extra blood around your system. Hopefully, nothing but a symptom of a healthy pregnancy, but I don't blame you for checking. I'm glad you are being taken care of, take it easy sweetie.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi all
its been quiet on here this wkend whats everyone been up to?

Berry- how are you doing? 

ive been off work this week back 2morrow not looking forward to it lol

4 weeks on tuesday till our appointment wish it would hurry up xxx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Berry - that's brilliant news.  It's your time girl.

Well, I've had time to come to terms with things a little.  I'm stil obviously upset as it's all so recent, and there doesn't seem to be any support out there for people in our position.  Joining More To Life has provided an online help forum but there is no local meet up group in our area - the only one in Scotland is in Paisley.  I think if me and DH could have met up with other involuntary childless couples and made new friends that way it might have helped.

Does anyone here know the process for getting free counselling?  I know counselling was offered as part of the IVF process but I was discharged from the IVF clinic once I got my BFP and 8 week scan.  the EPU didn't mention counselling options at all although they may still do so once I go in for my D&C which is now Tuesday as I managed to get a cancellation.  Although sad I'm keen to get it over with now as I am still getting nausea every day and it's just a constant reminder that I feel pregnant but no longer am.  I'm sure the counselling options at both IVF and EPU are dealing with infertility and or miscarriage.  My problem is that the whole process has had a large impact on my relationship with DH and I feel it's more marriage counselling we will need to have any chance of surviving this rather than miscarraige counselling. We have very little in common these days, lead separate lives and I feel I would be better single if we cannot find a hobby to enjoy together.  I still feel I am young enough to have a fulfilled life with or without children and would still have chance of meeting someone else but feel I need to give my marriage a fighting chance.    Just trying to ascertain whether I should go through my doctor, the EPU or go back to the IVF unit to get NHS funded counselling.  Any ideas welcome.

Hope everyone else is well.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi everyone, just got discharged from hospital today.  Couldnt wait to check in on the news.

Owenl - I am so sorry to hear your news, am sitting here crying, nothing I can say but sending you    and    that you will find the strength to get through this.  Not sure about where to go for counselling but if I were you I think I would contact the IVF clinic and ask them even if you cant be seen by the counsellor there I am sure they will know who to refer you on to.   

Berry - So glad you got some good news   

Hope everyone else is ok, will be on lots of the next few weeks as will have loads of time to spare!
But quick update from me is the op went well.  The cyst was big, it have one and a half litres of fluid in it, although this time it was fluid and not blood, so he wasnt entirely sure if it was endometriosis or not.  He had to put the ovaries back in place as the cyst had pulled them out of place.  He cant rule out that the cyst was caused by a reaction to the drugs for the IVF which leaves me in a bit of a dilemma as what to do if the next cycle isnt successful.  I know I cant keep putting myself through this op, going through the IVF is bad enough but to have a huge op every 6 or 7 months isnt good.  But hopefully we wont need to consider that.  He says I can start again in 4-6 weeks but personally I think thats a bit too quick physically and emotionally but will see what they recommend at the RIE.  Was really sick again on Thursday night every hour which was agony and then had to be put back on a drip.  Slowly recovering and really glad to be back home.  Catch up soon


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

Owen, you are having such a tough time at the moment. As far as I know you can contact the ERI for counselling at any point, it would certainly be a start. It might be best to contact Relate as well, to allow you and your DH the opportunity to talk, it sounds as if that has stopped and it doesn't sound clear why, apart from separate hobbies. 
The holiday will give you a chance to relax and see how the two of you get on, or even to have a few rows, but at least to get those feelings out.
But at the moment I definitely think you should contact ERI about counselling, to help you get through the miscarriage.      

Pumpkin, you don't mess around when you have a cyst do you!  It must be great to get that over with. I wouldn't be surprised if the hormones caused a reaction, they are pretty heavy duty, perhaps it would be worth chatting about a different kind of protocol with that in mind? I don't remember who asked about protocols recently, but there are quite a few.
The one I had in Europe was quite short and was much easier than the one I had here, and I had the same number of eggs.
I always feel very sick or vomit after an operation, I think it is the morphine, but not 100%. If I ever need a an op now I tell them the anaesthetist and they leave the drip in.


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Owenl   - I really feel for you. On the counselling front - I've had a bit! You could contact your GP, but I know that counselling through the GP, although it's free, has a long wait attached. I went along to the counsellor at SANDS at Craiglockhart when we were considering giving up. I totally get what you mean about doing it for your marriage rather than from the IVF point of view, but what I found was that non-IVF/mc counsellors didn't necessarily understand the particular stresses that fertility treatment (or the end of it) can put you and your marriage under. When we saw Margherite at the ERI, she told us she was there for couples who are trying to move on too - so it may well be that the case with the existing ERI counsellors - and they are free. Margherite (who was wonderful, and also counselled in grief and was v good with my DH, who's quite resistant to counselling) is now retired but works privately - not free but very good & I have her number if you wanted it. What you'll find is that quite a few counsellors (and this includes Relate, who Marta mentioned, who would definitely be good) operate a sliding scale of payment and will generally ask you to pay what you can afford. The one at SANDS only asks you to make an occasional contribution to the charity if you can afford it (she is payed by them).

I think the main thing right now is to take one step at a time. Go on your holiday and see how that goes. Get some counselling lined up for when you get back (or before if you need it for the mc - call the EPU and they'll be able to give you details of the mc counsellor at the ERI - also free). We're all still here for you - hang on in there   .
Love and hugs
Jan xx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi OwenL

I was so sad to read your news hun, I'm soooo sorry for your loss    
I think Jan and Marta are right, that Relate should be able to offer you both couple counselling.  But I think you need help to deal with your loss too, and either the EPU or Jeanette at the ERI should be able to help you at pretty short notice.  Jeanette is really nice and really helped me get through some bad times after my losses.
I think you and DH should try to look after each other as you'll both be going through things at different times  .  As you say you are still full of hormones, and DH will be feeling the loss of the baby, but also be trying to help you with your loss and its never easy.
Try to think about your holiday and spending some quality time together, even though there may be a lots of tears and words to be had yet, I'm sure you'll both come out the other end stronger, just give yourselves plenty of time and hugs  
We're here for you hun  
Dxx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Sorry I haven't been on, just been so tired at the minute as I'm still not sleeping properly.

My levels were good on Friday - hcg now over 1000, so doubling nicely.  We were so relieved on Friday, but then woke up on Saturday panicing again!  Things usually go wrong ofr me about 6 weeks, so really trying to keep positive and get through the next week.  Clinic are going to get me in for an early scan on the 7th, so trying to get through each day until then      

Berry - still smiling about your news hun!      Has it sunk in yet?  

Marta - I think nausea and dizziness are a great sign - happy thoughts hun!       Hope you manage to survive the next week - when's your OTD?  Sending you lots of happy thoughts and hugs        

Pumkin - wow hun, that was some cyst  .  No wonder you were so sick after it.  Hope you're lying up and being pampered by DH.   I think you're right about it being too soon to start in a few weeks, you're body needs time to recover    Take care of yourself

Jan - so glad your scan went well and they're going to be looking after you so well    Hope you're feeling better after your migraine and it was only a one off   

Vonnie - glad SATC was a good distraction, might need to do that next weekend!   Hope you're doing ok  .

Big hugs to everyone else   
Dxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

OwenL - lovie, I'm so, so sorry.    I can't tell you how much I feel for both of you right now.  Sending you big     .  The girls are right, get in touch with Relate and try not to put too much pressure on yourselves to bounce back from this straight away.  I do know how you feel.  DH and I went through a bad patch 3 years ago when we were told we'd never conceive naturally and that this treatment, while it is a chance, it's a very, very small one. But we came through it.  We did it by talking and being honest with one another.  Eventually the wall you think is there between you will come down.  It just won't happen straight away.  If we'd gone for counselling it probably would have been better but being stubborn, we didn't. This holiday sounds like a Godsend though.  Thinking of you. xxx

Berry - great news!!  Well done girl!     .  Have your feet touched the ground yet?

Pumpkin - sheesh!!!  You poor thing!!!  That was some serious cyst!!!!  Give yourself a couple of weeks to recover and see how you feel. Probably not an idea to make any decisions for a while yet.

Sorry for the short post - hugs to everyone I didn't mention.

RJxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Hiya Owen, i know we have not really "spoken" before, but i just wanted to say i am so sorry to hear your news    and i hope that you and DH can get through this. TTC is the hardest thing to test a relationship, and whilst yours and my journeys are very different to date, i can relate to how you feel about marriages growing apart and having nothing in common. Me and DH have been ttc nigh on 10 years and only now are we getting clinical help (due to a lot of factors...primarily my denial, procrastination and the need to lose weight) Like you have said, i often feel that me and DH lead separate lives with no common goal other than to have a family. And if we don't succeed then i feel terrified that the house of cards is going to collapse. But in my more rational moments i do believe that this ttc malarkey is really the survival of the fittest and if we didn't have the right person at our side supporting us, we would have never got to this point, ready to take the leap or continued leaps of faith we need to keep getting us through the appointments, the tests, the waiting lists and so on...... Within a relationship, emotions and expectations are rarely on a level playing field, and ttc just blows the whole thing sideways, upside down and then some !! I hope that your holiday, and some time together will help re-focus things for you both, but i know how tough it can be and i often think that my marriage is really just holding on by a tack. I am sure with counselling,whoever you choose to have it with, will be beneficial. When we are at our most vulnerable, i do think that we can over analyse from within and sometimes we just need a gentle steer in the right direction. 

Thinking of you both and i hope things will get better, best wishes xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello, how is everybody today?

I am feeling ok, still a bit sore, thought the stronger painkillers were making me nauseous so stopped taking them only to discover didnt make a difference.  Think the nausea is from them poking about inside me!  The clips have to stay in for twice as long this time round because the incision is on the previous scar line, so not looking forward to getting them out next week - ouch!  Apart from that doing ok, my mum and dad have been through looking after me and the dog so DH can go to work.  Mum was having a go on the wii fit last night and made me laugh which hurt   Have developed an addiction to games on ******** at the moment so thats keeping me occupied!

Marta - When is OTD for you, I am totally lost with where everyone is!  Hope you are doing well  

Peanuts - Thats good news about the results.    that there will be more good news next week   

Hello and    to everyone else


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Hi Everyone
Thanks very much for all your support and suggestions.  

I am feeling a little more normal today.  

I got my surgical evacuation yesterday and whilst it was a distressing time for me especially having to wait around for hours for the pills to loosen my cervix ready for the op, it was a routine operation and once it was over I did feel a lot better very quickly physically.  It was rather stressful at the time as it was Dr Tay that greeted us and said he was going to do the op and of course I told him I already knew him as he had done my EC op the 3rd time.  When he realised it was my 3rd and final attempt at IVF he was lost for words as no words could lessen the blow for me.  As I was walking back to the waiting room one of the nurses came up to me, I recognised her from the one who did my 7 and 8 week scan (can't remember her name).  Anyway she came up to me and asked if something was wrong (obviously wondering what I was doing in the Day Surgery Unit).  I was nearly bubbling when I had to tell her I'd lost the baby and because she had been there throughout my IVF journey she was really quite upset for me.  On the other side of things, many nurses at various stages who didn't know my circumstances were telling me not to worry, that it was a minor op and  I could try again in a couple of months.  So very upsetting but today I've woken up and it's just like a normal regular period.  In a strange way it's almost like having it done has helped me to move on, I almost felt in denial after the scan confirmed the baby was dead as I was still getting pregnancy symptoms and my hormones were all over the place.  I now feel a strange kind of calm although I am still worried about the future, already life isn't looking as bleak as it was.

I have contacted the RIE counsellor - Barbara Herkes via email explaining my situation and my fear of the breakdown of my marraige, to see what she can offer.  I also had an email from my day job Manager to offer support stating that there is a counselling service that they subscribe to that I get for free as an employee and they can offer personal counselling as well as work related to I have emailed them to to see if they can help.  Obviously they probably aren't familiar with the stresses that inferility can cause but as it is a completely free service to me it is worth seeing what they can offer.  I think I may also contact SANDS before I go on holiday and see what they can suggest.

My DH and I have talked although it tends to be me doing the talking and he just listens and doesn't offer any suggestions or ways to improve things but he has taken on board that we have problems as we have little in common these days and we don't share much intimacy and I've asked him to make more effort on both of these otherwise we are effectively living like brother and sister and I explained that I need more than that to stay in a marriage without kids.

We are looking forward to our week away, and hopefully it will be the start of a positive future with counselling to follow when we get home.

On another positive note, my day job work emailed me and said there may be a possibilitiy of more hours up until March 11.  They haven't yet said what they can offer but if I can get extra hours, I may be able to give up my unsociable job at the western to enable me to get a social life back.  The money would be less but the sacrifice would be worth it if it enables me to get my life back on track socially and I had thought I could maybe build up my dog walking business part-time again.  The downside is my contract at the day job only goes up to March 11 but there is a chance it will be renewed - we are tendering for the contract this year and if not, I can maybe try and develop my dog walking business to full-time or perhaps the job market will have improved by then.  The job which I hate at the Western is permanent but it doesn't allow me any normal social life and I think it will destroy any chance of fun and friendship if I don't take the risk of leaving it.

So that's my update, sorry for rattling on but thought you might all like to know that I am at the moment surviving better than I thought and can see a possible future in the long haul.

wishing you all the best with your treatments and pregnancies.

Lisa


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Owenl - Sending you    cant imagine what it was like to have to go through that and so hard when staff think they are being helpful and saying encouraging things but when they dont know the whole story.  You sound so strong although I am sure you dont always feel like that but really    that everything can be sorted out and you and your DH can deal with everything and move on.  Take things easy just now though, your body has been through a lot


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Owenl -     

RJ
xxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

owenl-      I'm thinking of you and your dh xxxx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

thanks girls - all I can say is I hope no-one else on here has to go through this whole process to get these results.  If one more person says to me "you can adopt" I think I will kill someone.  I would have loved to have considered adoption now but sadly we have already been turned down due to things that happened in DHs childhood that were not his fault.  Anyway, I'm going to concentrate on finding a way of leaving my hospital job to free up my evenings and weekends to try and then build up a social life and try and start having fun again both with DH but also need to try and find some new friends to socialise with as my family is tiny, just me, DH and my parents so need friends to go out and have fun with and if I'm happier socially it will be easier to make decisions about my future with DH.    

Went for a walk this morning - the weather is lovely and it got me thinking about taking risks financially and attempting to set-up a dog walking business again as this was something I had just started to do prior to starting IVF but gave up to concentrate on tx.  If I  can't have babies I'd love to be able to find a job I enjoy and walking dogs would be a perfect choice for me - just don't know if there is enough work in the current climate.  Never been one for taking risks but think I'm going to have to be brave and give it a go.

The RIE counsellor came back to me unfortunately unable to assist with our problems concentrating specifically on counselling for the loss of the baby.  As I feel I can live without children if other parts of my life are rock solid I don't think this kind of counselling will benefit me, especially as we can't try again, so I'm going to go on holiday, try and communicate again with DH and look at Relate or SANDS counselling when we get home.

Probably won't be on here for a while, think I have to have a complete break and work out  ways to move on and fill the gap in my life and the fill the void.  

Will be thinking of you all through your journeys and hoping that there continues to be good news on the Edinburgh board.

Lisa


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,

Sorry, bit of a 'me' post

just popping in to say I tested this morning and got a negative and then AF started this afternoon, which would be about right.
I haven't really had any symptoms after stopping the progesterone, just felt normal, so didn't think this had worked. I know I haven't had a blood test yet, but I'm pretty sure I know what the outcome will be.
I was supposed to go tomorrow for bloods, but I'm away this weekend from tomorrow and I don't want a phone call when I am supposed to be on a trip having a nice time, so I am going to postpone until Monday. I doubt it will change much.
So it looks like it is back to the drawing board for us. Still have the four frosties from IVF no.1 but can't really travel until July.
Will be back on next week when I get back.
Bit rubbish really, but not too bad because there is a lot going on right now which is very nice and I would really have preferred to be in better shape physically. Started running again today and have been watching my diet since Monday, so hopefully will shift some excess weight by July.

One thing I was wondering about was if it would be worth asking ERI or my GP for another check up to see if my hormones are OK or possibly to check whether there is anything suspicious going on. What do you guys thinK?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta- I'm so sorry hun   You sound like you are very together. You are so strong hun. I really am sorry    Defo ask your Gp about getting further tests, if you feel like u want some answers i dont see why you shouldnt b aloud them. I have a list of all the level 1 immune tests i have had done through my gp. If u want the copy of them i will PM you them hun. I'm thinking of you xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Marta -    so sorry to hear your news, take care


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi,

Just a quickie from me as I packing to go away to Ireland tomorrow for a week and so behind in eveything.

Martha, so sorry to hear your news,   and I hope you and your DH are ok?

Owenl,   I hope you are ok, I can't imagine what you are going through but I hope you enjoy your break away with your husband.  Take it easy amd good luck with the dog walking business.

Jan, how have you been.  Hope the scans have been bringing good news

Peanut, good luck for your scan on Monday will be checking to see you are ok.

Berry, u ok?

Just a quick update for me, doing ok no really symptoms other than being knackered all the time and convinced I'm about to have a m/c with every twinge I have.  Swear this tc has turned my mentol.....

Anyway hope you all have a good weekend/week and I'll catch up with your news soon

Vonnie


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi folks,

Marta - I was so sorry to hear your news   . I think Berry's right about asking your GP to do some of the basic testing. IF and mc are so closely related - look at the amount of us on here who've had both - and it's so hard to tell where one ends and the other starts.

Owenl - I hope you get the help that you and DH need. I don't want to add to the "just adopt" thing, but did you try different agencies. It's just that I have a friend who adopted this year and her DH also had some stuff in his past that put off one agency but not the other they contacted. If you've already tried different agencies then tell me to shut up, if not, I could check with her who their sympathetic one was.

Pumpkin - hope you are healing up nicely now - that was some operation!   

Peanuts - fab news on your levels!

Vonnie - enjoy the holiday!

Hi to everyone else.

I had another scan on Thursday and it was amazing. The wee thing is starting to look like a baby now - proper head, body and beginning of arms and legs - and it was moving!! We weren't expecting that at all. We got a wee wave and a hiccup. DH has nicknamed it Schroeder, after the Peanuts character that plays the piano - it does look a bit like that if you turn the pic on it's side   . I got a bit emotional for the first time - main emotion at the others had been pure relief. We're not getting another scan till the 12 week one now - they seem happy that we're doing OK. Had our first high-risk and haematology apt yesterday and, of course, nothing is straightforward - my wee had two pluses of protein in it (should only have trace - count goes up to four pluses). So it's been sent off for checking for infection. Thankfully it's too early for pre-eclampsia, but I'm a bit worried about my kidneys as I'm meant to have yearly kidney function tests while on metformin but haven't had one for 2 years! I'm hoping it's something daft like the Crinone gel. I've also had to switch to a new drug for my blood pressure and the side effects sound rubbish - tiredness, depression and nausea! Not everyone gets them, but many do . . . we'll see. Anyhow, despite all the scary stuff and the continuing anxiety about the pg I am very aware of how lucky I am to have got this far and I just wish the same for all of you     !

Love
Jan xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

What a lovely sunny day, think the weather is helping the healing process, am feeling quite good.  Still cant walk very far before I get sore but otherwise feeling ok.

Jan - Fab news about the scan    Hope the urine test comes back ok.  How long is it until the 12 week scan now. I lose track with where everyone is!

Hope everyone else is well and enjoying the weather, off out to get some more sun, its starting to look a bit more cloudy now but hopefully it will stay nice


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Sorry i've been a rubbish FF, just been so tired and trying to keep my head distracted over the last few days.

Lisa - sending you a big hug petal, I know you may be concentrating on your marriage, but you need to grieve for your loss and the loss of your chance to have your own family, so the counsellor at ERI may be able to help with that    Hoping you find some quality talking time on hols.  Take care of yourself hun    .  We're here for a meet up if you need us   

Marta - I'm so sorry to hear your news hun, sending you and DH a big hug   .  I hope you can enjoy your weekend away and get your head around things for the next stage of your journey  .  Think the level 1 tests would be a goof idea from your GP before trying again.

Pumpkin - glad the sunshine is helping you get better   Don't be doing too much though!

Jan - Fab news about your scan    .  Hope your urine results come back soon, and its just a wee infection that can be cleared up.  I know what your like, but please try not to worry too much  , this is your time and you need to try to enjoy some of this prg!  Sending you big hugs   

Vonnie - hope you have a fab holiday and your able to relax.  I now what you mean, keep thinking the same, but trying to get through each day at a time.  Sending you big hugs   

I've got an early scan tomorrow, so trying to keep sane til then.  Hoping its not too early to see anything which will worry me more, but couldn't wait any longer!   Will let you know how I get on.

Big hugs to everyone   
Dxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Just wanted to wish Peanuts good luck for tomorrow  

Getting my staples out tomorrow, last time I remember feeling much better once they were out, not as tight.  This time they have been in double the length of time so I am hoping I will feel much better and able to move around easier.  Have come off the stronger painkillers so feel a little bit more sore but not much.  Have a friend coming over for coffee tomorrow so will be nice to have some company and a chat.

  to everyone, where has the lovely weather gone??


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey everyone

Peanuts - good luck for the scan tomorrow, chicken!! xx

Owenl - I'm praying so hard for you and your DH.  I hope so much that your holiday gives you both some time and space from everything else to reconnect.    

Pumpkin - good luck for the staple-removing tomorrow, hope you feel much better for it. Maybe you won't feel so sick for going off the painkillers?  xx

Marta - Darling, I'm so, so sorry.        to you and your DH.  Hope your weekend away will give you both some peace and time to recharge.  

Jan - amazing news on your scan!!!  Had a wee tear in my eye reading your post.   

Vonnie - try not to worry so much, love.  Although I imagine I'd probably be the same!   Enjoy Ireland, wish I was going.  Am getting quite homesick, haven't been in Kildare since October.   

Hi and    to Berry, Minihaha, Michelle, JSparrow and apologies to anyone I've forgotten.

AF due this week, probably Friday.  Then need to call the clinic for scan.  So it's back to the rollercoaster for us.    Hoping like crazy for a good result this time.  It's been a bad year for the whole family, both DH's and mine.  We could use some good news.  Going into this tx with our eyes open.  I think I expected it to be easier and was so sure it would work first time.  Helluva bump down to earth. 

I'm sorry I've not been posting very much.  It was just too hard and I found myself getting very weepy, whether there was good news or bad.  I just couldn't let it take me over again.  I can't remember if I told you this but while I was signed off in March for the 2 weeks after the failed cycle, I was given a verbal warning for absence.  I'd only had 4 sick days during the treatment and took 3 weeks hols.  The sick days were when I had those blinding headaches from D/R and couldn't move my head.  My boss knew this was going on and still gave me the warning.  I couldn't think of anything more cruel.  So am a bit nervous going into this treatment in case the side-effects are as bad or worse again.  

I know there's no existing policies for people doing fertility treatments, but I'm not 100% sure I had to accept that warning.  Does anyone have any info on that or experienced anything similar at work?

RJ
xxxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Peanuts - LOADS of luck for tomorrow - will be thinking of you and crossing everything            !

ReikiJan - I had something a wee bit similar to this a few years back - I was having investigations for mc, some of which involved going to London, and I was told I'd have to take it as unpaid leave AND that they'd taken some of my other apts off as family leave (which meant I had none left in case DH or parents got ill!). I was furious and called personnel AND the union. Although most places have nothing in place for IF treatment/investigations, my union said it was a very dodgy area for employers as it was almost exclusively women involved and could therefore be construed as sex discrimination. Not that it definitely would be, but that if you make a fuss, some places might back off. As mine did! I also became a bit more cagey about what I was up to and the GP signed me off for "gynae problems" when I needed a longer time off. I'd have thought that if your GP had signed you off, they had no business at all giving you a warning! You could always go off with stress and depression and that would teach them   ! It makes me very cross - can you tell?! Do you have a union - I can't remember what kind of work you do? I'd get in touch with them, if so. Good luck - we're all behind you! Oh - and if you go to the "Ask a Lawyer" section on the main area of FF, you'll find a message about requesting access to the work issues board - that might be worth a go too?

Off to try and distract myself from googling "protein in urine" and "2+ protein on dipstick test" - so far I have diagnosed myself with multiple myeloma, diabetes (not impossible), ludicrously early pre-eclampsia (my own concoction) and kidney disease   ! Between that and stressing that my blood pressure is up since swapping the labetelol for the methyldopa (I'm fairly sure I'm not on a high enough dose of it) I'm driving myself do-lally   .Must.stop.googling.now!

Love
Jan xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi there, just back from nurse and had my staples removed, feel much better and can now stand up a bit straighter! Amazingly it wasnt painful at all either that or I have no feeling whatsoever left down there, I know from last time I have a really numb area across the bottom of my tummy!

Reikijan - that seems so unfair with you work.  My work have been so supportive I know I am really lucky.  My boss said I could have the 2ww as special leave but in the end I took it as annual leave as had accumulated so much off from being off sick because of the cyst.  This time I am wondering if its better just to work it as not working last time didnt help.  Its so hard to know.  I hope everything gets sorted for you and hope the side effects arent so bad this time.  I had a few headaches at the start but its the hot flushes that have been bad especially at night, like night sweats, not pleasant!  

Silver6 - Had to laugh at you googling all the symptoms, it can be quite scary cant it!!  Hoping its just a mild infection and will clear up quickly   

Peanuts - hope all went well today

 to everyone else


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Just to let you know that we saw a wee heartbeat this morning!  Still can't quite believe it!      
Was so nervous going in and Dr seemed to take ages to say anything!  But finally turned the screen round and pointed out the sac and wee heartbeat!
Lots of tears and hugs - never seen heartbeat on a scan before.
I've to go back next week for another scan before they release me, so hoping things stay sticky and we can see things a bit clearer.

Pumpkin - great to have your staples out, take it easy!
Jan - stop googling thins, I'm going to take your computer off you!  When will you get results from urine test?
RJ - I didn't know you were from Kildare, I'm from Co Armagh, not been home since Christmas!  Sorry your work have been awful!  Think your GP should be able to sign you off.  But sometimes it can be better to be at work during 2ww to keep busy    Good lcuk for your cycle     

Big hugs to everyone   
Dxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi how you's all doing

I'm in a similar situation IE work i got a verbal warning for sick time now I'm worried about when we start treatment and if i need any time off that i will get dismissed my work policy is that if you have any more than 12 periods off in a year its a dismissal even if you go home sick they count it as a sick day I'm not sure what to do as i cant afford to take unpaid leave any ideas?

we got our appointment in 3wks getting nervous have worked it out that i should be ovulating when we go hoping they will start us soon if anyone can remember what happens at first appointment I'd be greatfull for your advice?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

peanuts- to say i'm happy for you you both  is a understatement!!!! xxxxxxxxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

awww peanuts so happy for you and dh      xxxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry how u doing ?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

michelle- i'm doing ok thanks... just waiting for my scan too.... i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo nervous and i just dont knwo what to think. I always think the worst... i guess thats only natural. How r u doing? xx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry how long u got till your scan? im hoping all will be ok think we r the same always worrying drives me mad lol 
im gd just really want to get started the waiting is horrible but 3 wks till we see dr raja so im hoping they will start us on tx not long after xxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Just a quick note to say WAHOOO! to Peanuts.  Well done that girl!!        

Am delighted for you lovie!!

Just got a text from DH's cousin down south that I mentioned a few posts ago - she had FET a couple of weeks ago aaaaaaand.............       

Will post longer message later to all. 

RJ
xxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Peanuts - fabby, fabby news!        I am really chuffed! Our first scan this time was also our first with a heartbeat - to say I was relieved would be a huge understatement! Hang in there!
Love
Jan xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

peanuts - Thats fantastic news xxxx


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## eclaire (Jan 11, 2007)

Sorry ladies, lurker alert! Not on here much any more but always like to follow Dawn, Jan and Berry's progress. Absolutely over the moon for you all that you have got your very much deserved BFP's and brilliant to hear both Dawn and Jan have seen heartbeats    Keeping everything crossed for the same for Berry and for very happy and healthy pregnancies for you all     

Best wishes,
Elaine


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

I'm back from the weekend away. It was flat-out busy and had no time to think about the FET. AF continued and I did another hpt this morning, still neg. I haven't had time to go back for bloods yet, and can't go until Thursday, but can't help feeling it is a waste of time. Getting fed-up of trundling over there and paying their parking charges.   

Peanuts that is fab news about the heartbeat. So pleased for you sweetie.   

Pumpkin it sounds as if you are well on the road to recovery, soon time to start treatment again.

Berry I bet you can't wait for your first scan.

Michelle not long to go now.

Silver step away from the internet!   It sounds as if things are going along nicely.

Reiki I know how you feel about the emotions. It is difficult and you don't know how you are going to feel or react to things. I think I will be taking a bit of a breather this week from the boards, just to let things settle.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Marta -


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Thanks for your lovely messages, really means so much coming from my FF's   .  Still can't quite believe it yet, trying to keep my feet on the ground just now  

Marta - big hugs petal, hope you're doing ok   Understand the need to take some time out from the board. but please remember we're here for you if you need a catch up  

Eclaire - fab to hear from you hun   , how are you and wee man doing?

Pumpkin - hope your staples holes are healing up nicely   

Sorry don't havetime for more personals, but thinking of you all
  Dxx


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## eclaire (Jan 11, 2007)

Remarkably was actually on here when you posted Dawn   We are doing brilliantly thanks Dawn   The wee manny is an absolute star, though we have entered tantrum territory and he really knows his own mind now so I am learning a lot about negotiation, and failing that bribery   

Can't stress enough how happy I am for you and hope you have a wonderful pregnancy     

Best wishes,
Elaine


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

ReikiJan said:


> Hey everyone
> 
> I'm sorry I've not been posting very much. It was just too hard and I found myself getting very weepy, whether there was good news or bad. I just couldn't let it take me over again. I can't remember if I told you this but while I was signed off in March for the 2 weeks after the failed cycle, I was given a verbal warning for absence. I'd only had 4 sick days during the treatment and took 3 weeks hols. The sick days were when I had those blinding headaches from D/R and couldn't move my head. My boss knew this was going on and still gave me the warning. I couldn't think of anything more cruel. So am a bit nervous going into this treatment in case the side-effects are as bad or worse again.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry to hear that work are not being supportive. I work for a very large employer in Edin and i manage a large team and whilst i have not consulted my CEO or HR or occupational health myself during our treatment so far, i did have a team member going thru treatment last year who made me aware of their situation. I agreed with the individual that i would manage her absence in the same way i would manage absence for any other health reason. We agreed that given i was aware of her circumstances that allowances would be made for time off at short notice for scans, clinic visits etc. I did not let my own situation biase this, but i recognised that she was going through an emotional time and if i didnt offer flexibility and support then the only other option she may have felt she had was to go off on sick leave which may have led to long term sick leave. I felt it took an awful lot of trust for the person to confide in me what she was going through and it was clear that health permitting, she wanted to work through treatment as much as it would allow. What is the point of giving people additional stress, i wanted to support my colleague. She could have chosen not to tell me and had ad hoc days off sick but i felt by discussing it we had reached an agreement where she felt supported and would not be judged if she had the odd hour, day, etc off work.

RJ - I would try if you can, speak to someone from HR or OH again and tell them that you wish to discuss the recent warning that you had, its unjust to be given a warning when your line manager was aware of the facts, reiterate to them that your absence was due to headaches caused by the D/R drug regime. You mention you had only 4 days off sick..this would be covered by self certificate and your 3 weeks off was annual leave, which must have been authorised by your boss, which reinforces her awareness of your situation. You clearly, do not qualify for a warning, verbal or otherwise, unless your sick leave has been an issue before, and even if it was , it would have to have been documented and discussed before. I don't mean to sound flippant but if employees broke their leg or arm and couldnt turn up to work for a couple of weeks then no questions would be asked....so why should you feel under pressure or judged for requiring time off for fertility treatment. My employer does not have a policy in place specifically for fertility treatment but they are working on implementing one. But even with a policy, i think the bottom line has to be that managers must be mindful of the implications that fertility treatment brings to those going through it....firstly the emotional aspect but also the practical and physical aspect..needing to have scans etc at very short notice and time off for appts.

I'm sorry to rant on but i hate to hear when people are not treated fairly or with respect of their circumstances. Unions should not need to be involved if more managers put time aside to deal with each situation....i really hope you get it sorted out RJ as its important that you know you are able to move forward and not be treated unfairly again, should you experience similar side effects xxxx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Ladies
sorry I've been lurking without posting recently! Things have been "up in the air" with me recently but I can't resisit keeping track of everyone else's progress! Congratulations to Peanuts, Berry and Silver on the fab news.  Hope everyone else is OK.
We're going ahead with ICSI at Shawfair Park, I picked up a lovely bag of syringes this morning and start d/r on Saturday!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

fflower - Hello, and congrats on starting the process! thats exciting.  How is the Shawfair?  Wishing you all the best and keep us updated how you are going.

Minihaha - Totally agree with what you said.  Its a tough enough time for us all without having hassle at work too.

Glad the sun is finally coming out again was feeling a bit couped up yesterday.  Hope to get out for a walk later when DH gets home see if I can get any further today.  Hope everyone else is well


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Pumpkin
I really like the Shawfair so far, mostly because the waiting time is so short and I am crap at waiting!!
Plus, I get school holidays and I was desperate to have IVF in July when I'm off work and relaxed, Dr T and the nurses have been really accomodating about fitting everything in. It does mean I'm taking buserelin for a very long time though, don't know if that means your emotions are even more crazy?

Do you have any idea when you're starting tx again?

fflowerx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi FFLower, would love to have a wee nose round the Shawfair,does it do normal surgery as well as the IVF.  My surgeon who removed my cyst does consultations at the Shawfair too but I had my surgery at Murrayfield.  Quite agree with the hating waiting bit!  I have been downregging for 2 months already because of the cyst, my emotions arent too bad but the hot flushes and night sweats are a pain.  I think we will be going again in July/August.  My next zoladex (downregging) implant is on Wednesday and it lasts a month so dont know if they will start then or give me another month.  Waiting to hear but it will be July or August I think.


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi 
Shawfair park seem to do lots of stuff other than IVF, in fact there was a man there today having an eyelid cyst removed.
It would be really interesting if someone on here who'd had IVF at ERI went there to compare- I don't know enough about it to say if the extra cost at Shawfair is really worth it. They've only done a few cycles there but results are good so far. here's hoping!


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hi ladies, just a very quick update from me. I was back at the clinic this morning, down regging seems to have gone ok and i started my gonal injections today, back at clinic on tues morning for another scan and bloods etc. Wish me luck xx

Sorry such a brief post, up to my eyes in it at work just now. Hope everybody is well and Pumpkin i hope you are taking it easy and continuing to heal well.

Best wishes to all
K x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha - Thats great news,  wishing you lots of luck for Tuesdays scan and hoping those follies are growing xx

Not much to report, feeling a bit bored today!  Got more planned tomorrow and meeting up with friends so thats good.  Managed a little further, to the next street today and back, getting there slowly.
hope everyone is well xx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Hi   

Just back last night after our holiday to Italy. Had an amazing time, though yesterday was too hot at 36degrees. Back at work today which is a bit of a pain but will hopefully clear all my emails today - all 160 of them!!

Have skimmed the missed pages and Peanuts that is brillliant newsspin so pleased for you both. Berry hiope you are doing okay and managing to relax, if only a wee bit??   

Marta so sorry to read your news   

Pumpkin, how are you feeling? Hope you have a nice time with friends today.   

Minihaha, hope your scan goes well on Tuesday  

Hi Reiki, great news about your DH's cousin  

Big hugs to Owen, if you are still reading   

Hi to eclaire, fflower, Silver - hope you are feeling ok    and not too stressed   

Sorry if I have missed anyone and apols that posting isn't v well written but head is mince at the mo, but wanted to say    to all my FF's!!

xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi you guys,

I am so busy I have very little time free for FF or any other things. But things are well at work.
Otherwise I am shocked how much I have missed here and only read back about three pages.
Off to see friends this weekend.
Just wanted to say hello and we are waiting for FET, not sure when as we try to get a cancellation slot ...

love CA


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hi everyone!

  to all!

Just a quick post as am at work.  

Thanks so much to all that replied re my work problems.  It's made me feel so much better that it's not just me that feels there should be more flexibility for people going through this.

I'm sort of caught no matter which way I turn really.  Because of my job I need to be in work between 9am and 5.30pm.  Everyone else in the company has flexible hours or can work part-time.  This option is not open to me.  Because we moved house in order that DH gets to his work on time and we travel together, I've been in work from 7.30am almost every morning since September, I don't get this time back nor can I leave early to compensate.  My boss is also the HR manager.  This is the same person that I told you before that compared my treatment to her cosmetic dentistry as I've "elected" to do this.  You can see the level of sensitivity I'm dealing with here.  She works part-time so could schedule her    "tooth job" around her hours and days off.    

I did have an issue with absence last year but the warning was no longer on my file when I got the verbal warning in March.  I had taken 4 days sick leave during d/r (1 day and 3 days) and then 14 days holiday for the EC/ET/2ww.  The tx failed at the beginning of my 2nd week of 2ww.  As far as I'm concerned, I may have elected to do the treatment but I didn't elect for it to fail so by my reckoning, those days should have been sick leave but I didn't say anything about that to them.  I returned to work the Monday after the failed tx (AF on the previous Tuesday so "things" weren't completely over by then - sorry TMI) and spent that week crying in the loos and trying to keep a smile on my face while everyone asked me how my holiday was and where I'd been.  By the time the weekend came round I was a wreck.  On the following Monday morning DH took me to the doc who signed me off for 2 weeks with stress and anxiety as I was having panic attacks and could not stop crying.  The doc felt I hadn't had enough time to process everything and needed a rest.  I explained this to my boss (HR - you'll remember) who then slapped me with a verbal warning for absence the first day I returned after the 2 weeks off.

I've had no sick days since and the sick days I had prior to the D/R was 6 days for swine flu and I wasn't allowed into the office (not that I was able anyway!!).  

I want to sit and talk to her about time off for this next TX but because there's no legislation and no company policy to allow for any paid time off I'm going to have to take unpaid leave.  Which is fine for a few days around EC/ET time, but what happens if I get more of those really awful reactions to the drugs or get an infection post-EC like last time.  I wasn't able to walk/sit/sleep for a week last time.  If I take those as sick days, which I think is probably fair enough, am I going to get slapped with another warning!?  This is all stress I do not need.

Heh.  I did say it was going to be a quick post but then went off into full rant mode. 

Sorry. Am just so    angry.  Even DH (who is the fairest person I know and a senior manager in a different company) says that there are double-standards in play here. 

Sorry again....... AF due today.... might explain the psychosis...

Will post later tonight with nice calm thoughts once I've had some chocolate and strangled a few people...

RJxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello,
Hope everyones having a nice weekend.  I am feeling quite good, managing to walk a little further without getting sore, still not enough to go anywhere but I am feeling much better. 

Irishlady - Glad you had a good holiday, I love Italy
AnneS- hope work settles down and you get a slot for FET soon
Reiki - thats just rubbish about your work, cant really offer any advice but


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hello Everyone,

What a busy thread it has been.  Caught up on all your news but probably will forget it as my head is spinning in washing after my hols.

Ireland was fab, but this week was constantly on my mind.  Still not been sick and panicy about the lack of symptoms but on the filp side I do feel awful in the middle of the afternoon.  Guess the only way to know for sure is to have a scan.

Reiki Jan, I can't believe your work.  Its so out of order, I think employers do not realise the impact this has on our.  I did tell mine about tx and whilst they have been good I was asked 'where my head was at' before I went off.  Been stewing on it and not happy so going in all guns blazing tomorrow.

Peanut, fab news on your scan, it must of been a joy to see it on screen.  When are you back?

Berry and Jan, u ok?

Just a quickie as need to start tea but wanted to catch up

Vonnie


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

ReikiJan your boss sounds like a real bully. Do you belong to a union who could back you up?


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Hope you've all had a lovely weekend   

RJ - can't believe your boss!  I've had different reactions everytime I've d/r so hopefully you'll be ok this time   Ask the girls at the clinic and see if they recommend anything, but make sure you drink lots of water too try to keep the headaches away.  Can you take a few days off for EC/ET and then go back to work for rest of 2ww - sometimes its better to be at work keeping your mind off things?  Good luck for your txt     

Vonnie - thanks hun, it was a joy after all these years waiting for it.  Just hoping its still there tomorrow!  GOod luck for Wednesday, will be keeping everything crossed for you      .  I've not got much in the way of symptoms either, so hoping its sign  

Pumpkin - Well doen for your wee dander yesterday hun, just hope you're not overdoing it    

AnneS - hope you had a good holiday hun   .  Glad work is going well, are you all settled in?  Hope FET comes round soon       

Irish - your hol sounds fab, if a bit hot     Hope you had a fab time  

Minihaha - congrats on starting happy hormones   .  Good luck for stimms and let us know how you get on      

fflower - would be intertested to see how Shawfair is, and what the protocols are there, please let us know how you get on   

Big hugs to everyone  
Got another scan tomorrow, so hoping that HB is still there  
Dxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

Just want to wish Peanuts good luck for tomorrow    

Hope everyone had a good weekend, I am continuing to feel better.  Got a busy week ahead lots of friends popping in to visit during the week for coffee so will help the days pass a bit quicker.  Hoping to hear from RIE soon as to when they think I will be starting round 2, just like to have dates planned in my head.  Go back to see the surgeon in a weeks time and get my next zoladex on Wednesday.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Just checking in to see if any news from Peanut?

Minihaha and Fflower - How is treatment going so far?  Hope you are both well   

Just found out another friend at work is pregnant, really happy for her but as you know what its like, you cant help thinking when is it going to be my turn?    Anyway thats my little feeling sorry for myself over and off to cheer myself up   .      to all.  We will need to have another meet up soon, i think in another week or so will be fit for making it into town, think by then I will be in dire need of getting out of the house for a change of scenery!


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

quick update, had scan this morning, 6 follicles developing well and another 5 "small" ones could be seen. Wasn't given much feedback other than it was early days and things were going "nicely" but as this is all new to me and i have nothing to compare it too i'm not sure what "nicely" means    

I've to continue gonal f injections till sunday then back in on monday 21st for another scan. Told if all goes well then EC will be wed 23th or fri 25th june.

Hope everyone is doing ok, sorry for rushed post, just heading off to a meeting at midday.

K x


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi girls

pumpkin-hope you're feeling okay. The world does seem to be full of pregnant women at the moment! One of my colleagues is about 5 months now, she had IVF too so she's good inspiration!

Minihaha- I'm sure you're doing well. It seems like those follies can have a growth spurt overnight! Hope you get more good news at your next scan.

Peanuts- hope all is well x

I'm getting used to the d/r injections now. I had a headache today but I suppose that could be anything, its just tempting to blame everything on the treatment. I just found out from the cycle buddies board that you keep on injecting the burserelin even once you start stimms! 2 injections a day aargh!

Shawfair park are being really good about fitting in appointments and getting the drugs and stuff to me. I think I'm on standard long protocol but they are stretching out the d/r phase a bit to fit in with my work.  I'm not sure if they are always this obliging,  at one point they were going to put everything on hold because of staff shortages but I had a bit of  a wobbly and said I would switch to a different clinic. Hey presto, everything got sorted! The nurse I've been seeing is really lovely and very knowledgable, I think they stole her from another hospital   

fflower x


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Sorry I didn't get on yesterday, we had a power cut at home so couldn't get on the PC and then I was hooked up to a drip for 4 hours!  Just wanted to go to bed after that!

Things were all good yesterday - saw the heartbeat again and the start of arms and legs (apparently, but I couldn't see them!).  So pleased  , but feeling very weird now being officially released from the ERI after being a patient with them for nearly 4 years!   Got a 12 wek scan booked and a midwife appt!  Very odd!

Sending you all big hugs and thanks for all your messages    
Dxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Fabby news Dawn, D-day for me tomorrow and petrified that there's not going to be a heart beat.  Not feeling 100% so taking that as a good sign but proof will be in the scan.

Got a lot on tonight as heading up Inverness after the scan so need to get packed, will try and let you know how I get on via my phone.

Take care everyone

Vonnie


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi Vonnie

Just been thinking about you!  
Will be thinking about you tomorrow hun    Keeping thinking happy thoughts      

Please let me know how you get on, and have a fab time in Inverness
Dxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Peanuts -     So happy for you    Must seem strange to leave the RIE but also good in a way too.  Hope time flies to your 12 week scan and baby is waving at you by then   

Vonnie - Good luck for tomorrow,   

Fflower - Cant believe they said that they were going to put treatment on hold cos of staff shortage, not very good. Glad you got it sorted.

Minihaha - Follies sound good and am sure they will grow loads before next scan


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi folks,

Just popping on to say well done to Peanuts and to ask her how the drip went - any headaches?

ReikiJan - definitely should contact your union - hearing about your bosses attitude is putting _my_ back up - I can't imagine how angry she must make you!!

Pumpkin  - I know it's daft, but I STILL feel jealous of the girl at work who's 22 weeks pregnant  . It's so hard to see other folk getting what you want so much yourself  .

Vonnie             really hoping for good news for you tomorrow - will be thinking of you!

fflower - well done you for calling Shawfair out on delaying treatment  - I'm impressed!

Mini - good luck with those follies - it's sounding good  .

AnneS - Can't tell you how much I'm hoping and praying for good news for you from your FET. Hope you hear about dates soon  .

Hope I haven't missed anyone. Saw Peanuts' ticker and figured I ought to get one myself - was putting it off til 12 wk scan (next Monday!!). Still in total disbelief that we've made it this far and alarmed at my continuing lack of symptoms, but we've never been anywhere like this far before. Just praying it keeps going!

Love
Jan xx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Congrats Peanuts, thats lovely news that all is going well ..will seem strange waving ta ta to the team at RIE but in the nicest poss way i bet they are glad to say cheerio and pass you over to midwife to look after you, it must be great for the staff when they get ladies leaving with success stories. I hope you continue to keep well xxxx

Vonnie i hope all goes well tomorrow, will be keeping everything crossed for you xxx. And to Jan for your 12 wk scan on Monday - good luck xxxx

Pumpkin hunni its so tough when friends and colleagues announce their pregnancies...i find it harder with colleagues as you see them every day and it feels like their pregnancies last forever and its the talk of the office. But hopefully it will be us soon - hang in there and i hope you are managing to get out and about and time is not dragging so much with being stuck indoors   

I had to call the clinic back this afternoon for blood test results, in case they wanted me in for a scan earlier than monday. Turns out they don't as my blood tests are low in estrogen...very low by the sounds of it, so i'm not quite so excited about my 6 follies now. I've only been stimming since thursday 10th june so i guess its early days yeah..? what impact will continuing gonal f (225ml) have for another 5 days...if my estrogen levels are still low will they let me stim longer..? sorry to ask so many questions but i am just having a bit of a paddy and my low amh results and warning of poor response are weighing heavy on my mind.

K xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

At the nurse today and got my next zoladex, this one was quite sore, the last two havent been too bad!  Not sure what the plan is now, will wait till I see surgeon on Monday and then might have to phone RIE and see what they are saying.  Am not written up for any more zoladex so this one will run out in a month, so need to know whats happening soon, if I will be going for round 2 or if I need more zoladex to keep me going.  

vonnie - Hope everything went ok today   

Peanuts and Silver - Loving the tickers   

Minihaha - Not sure about the hormone levels, would assume they would just keep you stimming for a bit longer or would up the dose if needed??


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

vonnie- hope everything has went well hun xxxxx

I havemy 7 week scan tomorrow too...  i'm so nervous. I feel like this might be me at my last stage of happiness. xxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Berry, I didnt realise you were 7 weeks already too,  good luck for tomorrow, keep positive, everything has been going well


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## Finbarina (Apr 10, 2007)

I've not been on here for ages but I'm so delighted to read Peanuts, Jan & Vonnie's news!!

Congratulations ladies and hope you will be able to relax soon and look forward to those expanding bumps and lovely kicks....so so pleased for you xxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Finally made it to Inverness and just wanted to let u know how I got on today.  We saw a heartbeat, we are both so happy and still in shock, was nearly tears esp as I thought there wasn't a heartbeat but Nurse wanted to check the sac as it is a funny shape.  It looks as it the other egg was developing for a bit but stopped.  Just so happy to see the one that I've not thought about what if.  Anyway shattered but will post when I get back but want to thank you all for your encouragement.  

Berry good luck for your scan tomorrow.

Take care
Vonnie


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Vonnie - thats fab news  

Must go, being stuck at home all day I have developed an addiction to ******** games and am currently busy running a zoo and farm!  I think I need to get back to work   Have been signed off until Mid July and then need to go back to see Dr so its only going to get worse!!


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Vonnie - that's brilliant news! So chuffed   .

Berry - how are you doing - any news yet?       

Love
Jan xx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Sorry - meant to say - Finbarina - really great to hear from you   ! Your wee boy looks gorgeous - can't believe how big he is - seems like no time ago that you were on here having treatment!
Love
Jan xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

hello everyone. Just wanting to wish everyone a good weekend, lets hope the sun stays out

Berry - Hope your scan yesterday went well xx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am back from Turkey - had a nice relaxing week in the sun and it's given me time to start to come to terms with being involuntary childless.  Not feeling quite so hopeless as before and don't want you all worrying about me, I'm sure I'll get there in the long term.  
Back to work this Sunday at WGH and at my day job at CAS next Wednesday after 6 weeks off sick.  Good news is I've been offered more hours at my day job until my contract ends in March 11 so have decided to hand in my notice at WGH which will free up my weekends again for socialising.  I have a vague recollection of a time prior to IVF when on waiting list of feeling happy and enjoying my hill walking during the day with my dog and friends and social nights out with DH in the evenings and if I am to get back to having this enjoyment to fill the void giving up the WGH is crucial even if it does mean a pay drop and the possibility of being out of work by March 11.  Going to try and build up my part-time dog walking self-employment in the mornings again and if that is successful I can always look at going full-time later. 
Also, I found out my day job are affiliated to a counselling service in Edinburgh so I have been offered marriage counselling through them and my first appt is on Tues 22nd June.  If that goes ok, DH will be able to come along to future appts.  Still not hopeful that my marriage can survive, it's been in trouble for a long time but prepared to give it a shot.
In the meantime, I am attempting to build a new social life for myself by making new friends through joining clubs, evening classes and even posted an advert on gumtree etc so that if the worst happens and me and DH can't get through this together, at least I will have by then hopefully made a circle of friends to rely on if and when things go wrong, but hopefully if I feel happier in myself, it will improve my relationship with DH, providing he is prepared to start making an effort again with our relationship.

Probably won't be posting much on here as finding it difficult to offer support to others when I'm a bit low myself, but will still read your posts from time to time, as I still want you all to get your BFPs and then hear that your scans went OK as although it is difficult at the moment for me to look at babies without feeling tearful, I know what a hard struggle it is for anyone on these boards and I wish you all the luck in the world with your tx, BFPs and pregnancies.

Lisa


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi girls,

sorry for not posting sooner. I'm just home from london now. Scan went well yesterday and we seen 1 lovely litle heartbeat! So so over the moon. I'm measuring 7 weeks 1 day (yesterday) Just hope everything continues to go well. I will b on later for a proper catch up but i'm so so tired. xxxxxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

Berry thats fab news, so pleased that it all went well   

Minhaha and Fflower - How is treatment going?  How are you feeling?

Owenl - Hoping that all goes well with the work and with the counselling   

Well I got a phone call from RIE yesterday (whilst out sunbathing in garden!)  I am to get another zoladex (  , yet another month of hot flushes) and then go ahead with round 2 (  ).  So I just had one zoladex on Wednesday so next will be mid Jan, which will put starting stimms round about the 2nd week in August which is exactly when we are on holiday, so might have to make a wee trip back for the scan and then away again but will wait and see nearer the time.  Excited about starting but also really nervous, went into the first treatment feeling really positive and was sure it would all work first time, now I dont know, its a scary prospect.  Worried about how my ovaries will be after more surgery.  Just    that it works this time round.


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi girls
Great news from all the scans!

Pumpkin I'm really glad things are starting to move for you. Is Zoladex a different form of down regulation?

I'm feeling good, I think the healthy eating, no alcohol and a bit of sunshine are all doing me good!
I've still got 10 days to go before the first baseline scan. I'm trying to decide if its worth going to Napiers for accupuncture... any advice?

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Fflower, glad you are feeling good.  Not long to go now.  Yes zoladex is a form of downregging.  Its an implant you get every month, they fire it into your stomach, it hurts a bit!  Its also what they use for treating people with prostrate and breast cancer as well as endometriosis so its quite powerful stuff.  I guess on the plus side means I dont have to do injections every day.

As regards acupuncture I did it last time at Napiers in Bristo square, it was really relaxing but didnt make any difference to the outcome for me and also didnt get a lot of eggs.  I am a great believer in acupuncture for lots of things but I guess now not totally convinced of its role in fertility having had first hand experience. I guess the thing that really got me as well was that when I went during my 2ww she told me that she felt my "pulses" had changed and this was a sign of pregnancy, which of course it wasnt.  This time round I am not going to do it and just try to relax using my ivf relaxation cd and have some massages leading up to starting treatment.  Its really up to you what you think.  I asked Dr Thong and he said there is no evidence to support it but if it makes you relax then its a good thing but not necessarily any better than anything else.  I think first time round if I hadnt done it I would have thought what if so I am glad I did it but not going to do it this time.  Sorry thats probably not a lot of help but guess what I am saying is do what you think is best for you. xx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Berry - Excellent news   !

Pumpkin - great that you've got a plan for next tx - really hope you don't have to break your holiday for it - been there, done that! - you deserve a decent break!

Fflower - in the 7 years I have been ttc, I've tried just about everything - vitamins, yoga, self-hypnosis, nutrition, accupuncture, shiatsu, chinese herbs etc etc   . The only thing that seemed to make any difference was reflexology. Both my sister and a GP I saw in the early days recommended it (both of them had had difficulties ttc). I saw someone very good at Napiers and both times I conceived (didn't end well, but we've a pretty good idea that was inevitable now, cos of duff eggs!). Only problem was that she was a bit funny about seeing me when I was in the 2ww on a natural cycle so it was hard to plan visits. That shouldn't be an issue with IVF though. It was also the most relaxing thing I've done too.

Love
Jan xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi everyone,

Just to let you knwo that I am still reading. Lots of luck to all you pregnant ladies.

Huge   to all the rest of us! I know it is not easy when the board is full of scan chatter, but then all of those here have had a hard journey. And we do want to know how you all get on. I hope nobody minds me saying this. Don't want to offend. Just balancing sort of ...   

We have to wait till September for our FET as no cancellation slots. The staff at EFREC is three nurses short!

Have to prepare for a meeting at work.


Take care everyone.


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

scan this morning showed 14 follicles but all pretty small after 11 days stimming    largest one is 11mm, others ranging between 6 and 10. Estrogen levels shockingly low by today's blood test they were 472, I am so disapointed, I know its only our first attempt and often the first try is more a test of response to drugs than anything else. I'm not sure if i'm just a slow responder or a poor responder at this stage. They won't increase my doesage of gonal f so i've to keep stimming until friday and back in for another scan. Not looking hopeful in terms of how much growth is needed in 4 days, however they did say that 14 follicles was encouraging in light of my low amh levels.

Can anyone help me in terms of how slow or poor a response this is...anyone with similar count and size on day 12 and did things speed up and get to the required size. I'm guessing its likely to be game over for us come Friday    unless my body can kickstart itself.


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Minihaha - In all 3 of my IVF cycles I was on stimms between 16-20 days before they were considered bit enough for ICSI so try not to worry - at least you have quite a lot of follicles so a good chance of some of them growing to the right size.  At around 11-12 days mines were all quite small. Drink plenty of calcium - I found it helped.  Good luck with your tx.

AnneS - good luck with FET when it comes.

I am still reading these boards, finding it difficult to move on completely as still want to hear how you are all doing but I'm doing OK, I'm back at work which is taking my mind of things, start counselling tommorrow and have made some steps to making some new friends and improving my social circle.  Need to get back on my diet too but diets and socialising don't go so well together   .


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha - Not really an expert on numbers of follicles or sizes but you do seem to have a good number of follicles, if those larger ones grow a bit more then am sure everything will be fine.  They dont all need to reach the right size.  Its so hard as there is nothing you can do but to wait.  Dont give up yet though, they obviously think that they will grow more and thats why they are keeping you on the drugs       

Owenl - Good to hear from you   

AnneS - Sorry you have to wait till Sept, have you any plans for summer to break up the waiting?

Well I was back at hospital today to see surgeon.  He was very pleased with everything, when he greeted me told me I looked fantastic and not like I had had a big op only a few weeks ago.  That made me   .  Admittedly last time he saw me I was lying in bed with hair unwashed and not exactly looking my best   .  Anyway he said that the results were back and the cyst was not endometriosis but was fluid filled and was benign.  He said I was just incredibly unlucky for it to happen and that it shouldnt happen again.  So that was reassuring to here.  He said my ovaries had become a bit stuck down again but had released them so should be easier for egg collection.  Obviously he doesnt know how many eggs they will get from that ovary as its had two cysts removed and each time the surgery takes place it removes a little of the tissue.  So  all i need to do now is get myself back to full health and strength and get on with round 2


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Mini - that's a really good number of follies! Some people do just take longer at one bit of the cycle than other - some folk DR for ages, for others it's the stimming - as long as you get there in the end, and it sounds like there's no reason to think you won't     .

AnneS - Thank you for the kind words. I was very unsure about hanging around here, because I remember what it's been like when there's a few BFPs and people don't move on and I did find it hard, but also wanted to know how they were doing. I would completely understand if folk didn't want us here, or preferred that there was somewhere else where they could check on us. I wouldn't be in the least bit offended if anyone would rather there was less about scans etc. Like I said, I remember all too well what it was like.

I will quickly say that we had our 12 week scan today and all was well. There was a girl in the waiting room, desperately phoning what sounded like her mum and husband/partner as she was in early pg and had bleeding and cramps and she was waiting to be fitted in for a scan to see if the pg was viable. I just wanted to go over and give her a huge hug. I hid our scan photos when we went back into the waiting room to wait for the report - I remembered how miserable it was sitting seeing folk smiling down at scan photos when I knew my baby was probably gone. She was going in for her scan just as we left and I keep wondering how she got on. 7 years ago, that was me. After that I didn't bother going for scans as the first experience was so horrible. I just want to let you all know that a) if I can make it this far, I'm sure that any one of you can, b) I still feel like I'm on borrowed time with this pg and I know that things can still go wrong and c) if this does end with a live baby, I will never, ever forget what it took to get there and how painful and hard the journey was.

Love and hugs to you all,
Jan xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Jan - Sending big   So glad that all went well for you today.  I love hearing how you are all getting on because it gives me hope.  I always find it a bit upsetting when I hear people are pregnant but if I hear someone who has had IVF is pregnant then it doesnt upset me.  Guess it just reminds me it can happen.  Especially when so many of the ladies here have been through so much to get there. 

Got to go having a bad hot flush and feel as if I am going to expire, quite a thought thinking I still have another 7 or 8 weeks of this - Joy!


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi 
sorry for not posting for a while been feeling bit down  finding things difficult just now there seems to be tension between me and DP   

Jan - great news on the scan are you going to find out the sex of the baby?  

berry - glad your scan went well    

how is everybody else? hope you's are all fine

we got our appointment next Tues just want it 2 hurry up this bloody waiting is murder everything spinning round in my head one min I'm happy about starting then the next all the doubts come in and its getting hard 2 push them away (god i sound stupid!)
anyway hope that the appointment helps 

sorry for bit of moaning just don't know where 2 turn sometimes

love Michelle xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Michelle -    you dont sound stupid, quite normal in fact.  There is such a mixture of emotions especially when you have been waiting for IVF for ages.  You feel excited that this is now going to be your chance but so worried if it doesnt go well, I think we all feel like that.  Sometimes its easier to feel positive than others.  Thats great your appointment is soon, hopefully you will feel a bit better after you have been and will have a bit more of an idea what is happening when


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## sheila1 (Jun 16, 2010)

Hi everyone

just joined ff Ceri gave me this thread not really sure of the site yet or the abbreviations.  I'm about to start my 1st icsi cycle in july at RIE just thought I would say hi.  looking for some advice about the treatment.  I'm 30 and my DH is 32 I have a low AMH and he has a low sperm count and low morphology really worried that we won't get to egg retrievel.  To phone the  clinc the first day of my period which should be next week not really sure what to expect.  Can anyone help?  look forward to speaking to you all soon.

xx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Sheila

Welcome to FF! I just started my first cycle (ICSI) a couple of weeks ago so I'm no expert! I'm sure you'll find all the help and advice you need on here though.

I don't know much about the low AMH, but I wouldn't worry about the low sperm count- thanks to ICSI you really only need a few. (in out last test they found 5. Not 5 million, just five!) 

There is a section called "IVF- general info" on here which really helped me. Think positive, you can do it!

FFlower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Sheila, welcome to the board, we are a friendly bunch so if you have any questions just ask.  We might be going through treatment at the same time.  I am currently downregging (when they give you the drugs to turn your ovaries off) and will start stimming (to produce the eggs) at beginning of August.  the staff are really good and will explain everything but anything else you want to know just ask.  Try not to worry about not getting to egg collection, you just have to take one step at a time


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hi sheila, welcome to the forum, as pumpkin said, the ladies on here are a very friendly bunch and i find them more informative than any consultant...most questions you have will be answered here and never feel shy to ask for support...the girls really are a godsend !!! xxx  

I am going through our first icsi cycle at ERI , we had been on the nhs waiting list for about 2 and a half years after ttc au naturale for several years (we had our heads in the sand..hoping it would happen) and latest dh sample in april 2010 reported quite a rapid decline in morphology since his last sample, hence icsi. I found out only recently that like you, i also have low amh results . I phoned the clinic on the day of my period (approx 3rd may) and they did an internal scan and a "dummy transfer" i understand the reason being to see how accesible my ovaries were should my treatment commence to ET. It really was just like a smear, less painful in fact and all went well. And then down regulation began with buserelin, i had little or no side effects, a bit tired and headachy but keeping my water intake topped up did help with the headaches.

Stimming injections began 2 weeks ago, i have had regular scans to monitor follicle growth, the nurses and consultants at ERI really are lovely, couldnt fault them. I am a slow responder so i am stimming for longer than was expected but i am hoping and praying that when i go back for scan on fri 25th i will be on track for egg collection next week. I have 14 follicles as of monday 21st june....longest measuring 11mm ..........it needs to be 18mm i beleive to be considered for retreival. My estrogen levels have been very low which is a worry. During follicle tracking they will take bloods to measure estrogen.

I have been building myself up for treatment for what seems like forever, but i also had to lose a lot of weight before i met the criteria for eligibility and hearing i had low amh and now morphology issues with dh was hard but now that we are in the process of doing treatment its not as hard as i thought it would be. The injections are very easy to self administer and all staff at the clinic are approachable and happy to help.  I wish you all the very best of luck and seeing as we are going through the motions so to speak..around the same time...i am happy to offer advice, where i can.

Good Luck with your treatment, take a day at a time and if you are unsure of anything, make sure you ask the nurses at the clinic or the ladies on this forum.  I wish you all the very best xxxxxxxxxx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls 

Sorry I've not been on, DH got a new laptop, so has taken ages to set it all up and get back on the net.

Shiela - wecome to the thread and good luck for your treatment  .  As the girls have said, please feel free to ask away if there's anything you want to know - both to us and to the staff at the clinic.  I found it useful to have a notebook with me to take a list of questions in and scribble lots of things down during appts - as there's so much information sometimes that its easy to forget what the staff have said.  Mini has been great going through the main process so can't add much there, best thing is to try to take one step at a time and try to stay as positive as possible.  Try not to worry about low AMH too much, it seems its very much a snap shot of time - I was low AMH and managed 13eggs!  Take care and let us know how you get on     

Mini - 14 follies is great, well done you hun.  Have you tried to up your protein intake - drinking milk and eating lots of chicken , eggs, etc can help boost follies.  Also you can try a warm (not hot!) water bottle on your tummy for a wee while inthe evening to help increase blood flow to yoru follies - but make sure its not hot!  Keeping fingers crossed for your scan tomorrow and hoping things are progressing nicely - remember slowly slowly catchy monkey!       

Michelle - nearly there hun    .  I think the waiting is almost the most frustrating thing about IF, but it'll all be worth it in the end   .

Jan - fab news about the scan hun, so pleased for you   

Pumpkin - fab news from your consultant!  I'm sure you looked great even in your bed with unwashed hair!    Keeping fingers crossed for round 2!

Owenl - sending you a big hug    Think diet can wait until you get your self a bit more together.  Glad that your able to access counselling through work and it makes a difference for you and DH    

AnneS - sorry your having to wait until Sept for FET.  Maybe it would be worth contacting GCRM or Shawfair park and see what there timescales are and whether they'd recommend anything different for the FET?  Thanks for your kind words, has been hard to know whether to keep posting on here as I've been in the opposite position so many times and know what its like.  Big hugs    

Big hugs to everyone
Take care
Dxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi girls

just had a call from Michelle?(nurse at eri) to book an appointment with the nurses so got that on Tues after our appointment with Dr Raja  she said something about us starting TX in september in really confused can anyone fill me in about this?  i asked but she just said they will speak to me on Tues  

help!!!

michelle xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Michelle, what usually happens or at least it does if you are on NHS list is that you have your appointment with consultant who explains everything, opportunity to ask questions and then you see the nurse get lots of forms, bloods taken, think the man has to do a sample as well.  But you wont actually start the drug treatment till the date they give you,  I think we went in August and our treatment was scheduled to be October or something like that.  So you wont be starting the meds etc till September.  Does that make sense.  I know its more waiting but they get you in before you are right at the top of the list to make sure everything is all set for treatment.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pumkin-pie thanks for the info its just so frustrating all this waiting you get your hopes up then told you have to wait longer   aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh lol xxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hiya ladies, i hope everyone is well and has fun weekends planned..its meant to be another lovely day tomorrow..life is always better when the sun is shining !

well scan today was not much better than monday....left ovary has 3 follicles which have now progressed to 16mm which is obv far short of the 18-19mm target to consider ER an option. Estrogen levels also low at 680. Right ovary - unchanged since monday's scan.  I have to go back on monday for another scan so am in limbo over the weekend. 

@Peanuts - thanks for your advice re protein intake and warm water bottle on tummy - i've upped my intake of protein to a certain extent but will try harder over the weekend...i can't stomach drinking milk though ...do milkshakes count lol   

Left the clinic today with hcg shot all ready ......so at least they have optimism...i sense they will be asking for it back on monday   

Went to work after today's scan as i thought i was okay. The office empties early on a friday so it was there at my desk i found myself at 4.30pm in tears....hubby had to come and pick me up from work as i just had a "moment" but as the evening has gone on i am feeling a bit better after loads of cuddles and dh just being a doll.  Was supposed to go to my brother's birthday party tonight but couldn't face it..but he understood so that was fine. Its not so much the lack of response that is upsetting me (i was kind of prepared for it to be honest) its more i think the pent up stress and exhaustion of the last few weeks that have taken their toll and i just need to rest and be with DH.

I've booked monday to wednesday off work next week as annual leave , i thought this was sensible. I have not told them what we are doing and have no intentions of telling them. I manage a large team however i have a fantastic deputy who will fill the gap in my absence so this removes a bit stress.

Anyhoo thats where we are for now. I can't do anything to change monday's outcome other than relax and eat healthily so i am going to try as much as  i can to have an enjoyable weekend. Just keep ourselves busy is the key i guess...what will be will be.

Lots of best wishes to everyone and thanks for all the advice and support to date

Love K xxxxxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha -    that those follicles grow enough for EC ,  hang in there    

Michelle - THe waiting is so hard but not long now


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Hope your all enjoying your weekend!

Mini - I think you've got the right attitude, you need to relax and enjoy the weekend and see what commes on Monday.    Lots of us ladies have to stimm a little longer to get the right response so try not to worry too much.  We've all been there with !"moments" and pent up frustration so dont be hard on yourself - so good that DH is being a sweetie    . And yes milkeshakes count!   I'm loving whizzind fresh strawberry's and having it with milk - yummy!  Happy thoughts hun       

Michelle - hang in there hun   .  If you were due to cycle in October, then they'll ask you to call in with your September period and see you for a scan in the first 5 days of your cycle, and then send you away with a bag full of drugs!  You usually start d/r on day 21-23 of your cycle, so will depend when your period is due - hopefully the beginning of Sept    

Pumpkin - how are you feeling hun?  Hopefully recovering well in the sunshine    

Big hugs to everyone   
Dx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Peanuts, i am doing well thanks, feeling much better and managed a good walk today, not as much as i would normally walk but a lot further than I have been.  Going to venture into town next week for some retail therapy, which I am looking forward to!  Not that I will be able to buy too much as no heavy lifting allowed yet!!  How are you feeling?  Have you had much sickness or nausea?


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi girls 
hope yous are all enjoying the weekend its been lovely weather   

Peanuts - how u doing? thanks for the info I'm sure the nurse said we are starting in september but will find out properly on Tuesday  have worked out that my period SHOULD BE at the start of SEPTEMBER    so hoping that it doesn't change just really want to get started  xx

Berry - u still out there! how u doing huni? 

Pumkin-pie - how's u? Thanks for your info too huni xxx

Well our appointment is on Tuesday so will let yous know how it goes should be after tea time  

michelle xxxx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Just want to wish minihaha good luck for tomorrow- sending you    and    !

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha - Good luck for today xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

minihaha- gd luck for today hun!!! xxxx

I'm still here girls just not posting much as morning sickness has really kicked in for me and i just feel awful.... but hey ho... i should not complain!!! lol xxxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

thanks ladies, i am reeling after this mornings appt...very rushed and not really given much attention or information. Scan showed one follicle had reached 19mm - by the sounds of it though the rest have shrunk..Dr Raja (?) think thats his name..just banging the keyboard and not really saying very much other than to ask the nurse .."how many have you counted.."  he then whisked off and i was left in a room waiting on the nurse, she was a new one, never seen her before, told me she couldnt take blood so she was off to find someone that could. Bloods taken, told to phone back at midday for results and if estrogen was ok we would go for EC on wednesday. Estrogen is much lower than it was last week, so its dropped but i've been told to take my HCG shot tonight and they will go on with EC on wednesday....are they mad..!! one follicle and low estrogen...surely they should be cancelling this..?  I am a bit shellshocked and upset , not so much with the continued lack of response, but i could have done with having some time with the doctor this morning to get some idea of what we are looking at.

Sorry its not a more positive post ladies, but as i said i'm pretty shellshocked..the clinic was pretty busy and running late which is maybe why it was chaotic this morning .

Best wishes to all
K x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

So sorry to hear that you didnt get on well at clinic today, even if they were rushed they should have taken time to explain things to you.  Maybe you could phone back and chat to them, if you get one of the nurses who has been there a while they are good at explaining things, just to get some reassurance.  Maybe they think some of the smaller follies will be ok?  i would phone them and get a bit more info so you know whats going on xxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

hello,

Not been on for what seems to of been an age but just ctaching up on all your news.  Minihaha, I'm with Pumpkin, the clinic should of taken the time to chat to you regardless if they had been busy or not they should take the time to explain what is going on and what their plan of attack is.  Fingers crosses that your wee follies take a spurt, so rest up and take it nice and easy and good luck for your e/c on Wednesday.

Jan, fab news on the scan.  Is it sinking in now.

Michelle, hope you consulation goes well tomorrow.

Anyway, I head is spinning tonight as work is a nightmare so just had my tea and now thwe dog is pulling my leg as he wants out and no man waits form this dog so best go.

Hello to everyone else 

Vonnie


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Hello girls
I hope no one minds me posting, it has been a while, but I know lots of you had asked me to keep in touch with an update. Well, I'm thrilled to say we are past the 12weeks stage at last! We had our 12wk scan last week at ERI and saw our wee bubba properly for first time - truly wonderful and something I will never ever take for granted, I cried so much. I follow the thread still and think of you all and will always be grateful for the support I had on here throughout our ICSI process.
Polly xx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Mini - try not to get too down about things, DrR is so quick at counting follies that its hard to keep up, and I'm sure he just meant that 1 follie had reached the 19mm, which is the trigger size for EC for ICSI.  It may mean that your others will catch up in the next couple of days.           Keen your chin up petal  

Michelle - good luck for your appt tomorrow, hope its not too busy and you get time to ask lots of question!  Keeping fingers crossed for AF at the beginning of Sept - sometimes if you let them know it might be the end of August they might let you start early, but depends how busy they are.      

Polly - thats great news hun, congratulations - has it sunk in yet?  

Pumpkin - I  think a wee bit of retail therapy sounds great - don't overdo it hun    Although I'm sure you could hire a man to carry your shopping for you  

Berry - hope you're DH is looking after you hun, and not making you work!!  

Vonnie - hope its dried up where you are for taking the dog out - my DH might have to go on his own tonight!  

fflower - how are you doing hun?  

Big hugs to everyone  
Dxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

thanks ladies xx  your right Dr Raja is a man on a mission tip tapping (or rather banging) on the keyboard...and i tend to get a bit overwhelmed by him...the other doctor -lady with the headscarf i find very nice and she always has a wee blether and tends to give you  more information. I also was scanned by another doctor last week (dark brown hair with glasses..she too was lovely), she also did my scan on cd2 and dummy transfer.  Do you know i never see Dr Thong these days..is he busy with his private commitments..i liked him, he didnt say a lot mind but he had a cracking dry sense of humour.  

For all the time i have been at the clinic, today has been the first day i have felt like its been a bit chaotic...everywhere is allowed a bad day i guess...i wouldnt want to put any of the other ladies off especially those who are going to be getting started with treatment. Perhaps the staff are just getting fed up with me lol..i've been there every other day for the last 5 weeks    I am really missing Emma, the nurse...she was lovely and also Lorraine too..not seen her about so perhaps she is on maternity now too.  

So i will take my ovitrelle shot at 11pm tonight...struggling to stay awake so i will just have a wee nosey on ******** etc to pass the next couple of hours. Not going to work tomorrow, booked the rest of the week off on annual leave so at least that's one less thing to worry about.

Just need to get to wednesday and what will be will be. The nurse said to me on friday that its not been a "great picture" for me so at least we are going into this with our expectations managed i guess and its not over yet i guess.  

Thanks for listening and your words of advice and support as always. Lets hope that the (un-mentioned in DR R's haste) follicles that may be still hanging around at 15mm have an eleventh hour spurt and i have more to work with on wednesday - that would be nice.

Best wishes to all , good to hear that the girls having scans are all getting good news as their pregnancies progress and also good luck to the lady who is having her appt at the clinic tomorrow to get a date for starting treatment later this summer.

  to Pumpkin xx i hope you are keeping well and the retail therapy you have planned lifts your spirits...even it it drains your bank balance    - nowt like a bit of shopping for us girlies to feel good xxxxxxxxxxx

  love to all
Kerry xxxxxxxx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi minihaha
you're probably getting ready to shoot up right now, just wanted to wish you luck!
How are you feeling about the actual EC proceedure?
fflower x


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

fflower said:


> Hi minihaha
> you're probably getting ready to shoot up right now, just wanted to wish you luck!
> How are you feeling about the actual EC proceedure?
> fflower x


Yip just done my ovitrelle injection at 11pm..it was fine, but i did notice when i took the syringe out there was a bit of blood there..ie a speck..never had this with my buserelin or gonal f.....?

in terms of EC i think i am ok with the procedure itself..its the results that scare me, only natural i guess. I have never had any procedure done under just heavy sedation before so i dont know what to expect so i guess that makes it easier. I dont respond to general or local anaesthetics very well, had a few in the past and my fight or flight instinct seems to be out of kilter in that when i should be relaxed .. i do tend to go hyper .......but to be fair any local or general i have had has been for dental work when extracting impacted wisdom teeth eek !! To be honest i'm not even thinking about it right now....and my emotions are in such turmoil at the minute that i may even welcome and embrace some sedation lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

well todays the day appointment is at 1:30pm then the nurses at 2:30pm 
will let yous know how i get on 

getting nervous


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello everyone

Michelle - Good luck for today, its exciting that you are getting closer to starting

Minihaha - Good luck for tomorrow,    that all goes well.

Polly - So glad that your scan went well, hope you are keeping well

Peanuts, Berry, Jan, Vonnie - Hope you are all doing well   

Hi to everyone else    .  Havent ventured into town yet but maybe towards end of week.  Just had a wee spring clean of my sewing room and now having a break and cup of tea.  Think might go and sit out in the garden and make most of the sun.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

That's us back from the appointment 
it went well got a scan Dr Raja done it he seemed happy with my follicles have had bloods done as well
DP done sperm sample too.
Have to call them when August period arrives then go in for dummy transfer then start drugs with september period we are doing the short protocol so it well be all go in september     

Michelle xxxxxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Just wanted to wish minihaha good uck for tomorrow.  Will be thinking and rooting for you.

Vonnie


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Michelle- glad to hear the appointment went well and things are getting going for you at last!

Minihaha- best of luck for tomorrow, let us know how you get on!

Hi to everyone else x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha -    that all goes well today

Michelle - Thats great you have a date to start


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

only one egg collected     . Can't remember a thing about the procedure itself..completely oblivious...that sedation is good   

Dr came to see us and said that this is very uncommon and if we want to try again they will look at different drugs/protocol etc. So they have written us off....thanks for the vote of confidence.   

Was up and about very soon afterwards and got home just after 1pm.

K x


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi minihaha
How are you feeling now?   
It must have been hard to have a proper conversation about your treatment when you'd just ciome round from sedation. Sounds like you need a proper appointment to talk about  it.    your egg fertilises! Are they going to call you in the morning to let you know?


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hiya fflower, it wasn't a proper conversation as such, hopefully i will get a follow up appt to discuss. The dr came to sign my discharge sheet and as standard they tell you how many eggs they got so it was me that asked how common it was to get only one. She had already told me when she came to see me before my operation that there was about a 70% chance there would be no eggs, based on my response and estrogen levels.

Have since realised that the nurse did not give me my progesterone pessaries (even though we discussed how to adminster it) perhaps this really was an innocent oversight....or indicative that none will be needed as no ET will take place.........

As for how i'm feeling...weird i spose , in one respect i am gutted but in another i am releived that was has been a kinda hopeless cycle and the ups and downs has come to an end. I know it takes only one egg i guess but i dont think it will be good news when i phone tomorrow....with only one to play with it really is going to take a miracle.  I'm very tired and quite crampy in my tummy but i just cant seem to relax and sleep. Going to head up to bed soon with a nice cuppa and a bar of chocolate..Footloose in on E4 at 9pm so i will watch that and hopefully drift off into a blissful sleep.

Love K xxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha - Sending you big    and    that your egg fertilises and keeps growing strongly.


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Minihaha,

Big hug and I hope your egg is merrily dividing tonight.  Don't read into the pessaries all the times I've been at the ERI I've never had mine to take away after the e/c it was always after e/t.

Feet up, chocolate and footloose sound like a good combo.  I'm hitting the sack with book as can't be bothered to stay up, there is nothing on the tc and dh is not back from this travels until 12.  

Anyway fingers and toes crossed for you tomorrow

Vonnie


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

minihaha- hope your little eggie is the one!!! I'm thinking of you xxx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

I suppose one egg at a time is how nature does it and that seems to work for a lot of people!


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Oh dear any advice on how to make a lilypie ticker work please


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Yay I did it!


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

omg it fertilised !!!!!!!!!!!  back in at 11am tomorrow for ET...they didnt mention grade or quality though so a bit worried....   everything is ok for tomorrow.

Thanks so much ladies for all your best wishes   
K xx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Great news, they don't mention grade etc as its still to early, u will find that out tomorrow when u go back.

Vonnie


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

That's brilliant news MH, tomorrow you will be PUPO!

I'll be heading in the same direction myself tomorrow morning- i've got my first baseline scan!

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha - THat is fab news, I am on babycentre website too and there was a woman there who only had one egg and it fertilised and she has a little boy now.  Really hoping that you get a good strong embryo  

FFlower - Good luck for your scan


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Just a quick message for minihaha - fantastic news on your egg!!!! Like Vonnie says, they wouldn't be telling you quality at this point anyway - they don't tell you that till day 2 - so don't worry! LOADS of luck for tomorrow.      
Love
Jan xx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Hi  

Sorry I haven't been on here much.

Great to see so many happy tickers on this board.

Minihaha that is fantastic news, hope et went well today   

Pumpkin good to hear you are getting stronger and this lovely weather must be aiding your recovery too   

We have sort of nearly made a decision...I have been thinking of adoption for a while and starting to feel that this is the right route and what we are supposed to do. DH still isn't 100% convinced but a social worker is coming round in a few weeks to have a chat and then we will take it from there.  So I will let you know how we get on.  

lots of love and hugs to you all and I will keep nipping back to have a look on the board to see how you are all doing.   

xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Irishlady - Wishing you all the best if you do decide to go down the adoption route.  Makes sense to find out a bit more about it and then you and DH can make an informed decision.  Let us know how it all goes    Have you been doing much cycling lately?

Minihaha - Hope all went well today

Fflower - Hope your scan went well

  to everyone else 
Not much new with me, go back to see my GP next week and have my last zoladex (hooray) in less than 2 weeks time.  Been keeping myself busy enjoying the sun, tennis (watching not playing!) and sewing.  Making bags for my online shop and just signed up for a Christmas fair so need to gradually build up stock. Keeps me busy and I enjoy it but I keep making the bags and thinking, oh I like that one, might just keep it rather than sell it!  Never going to become a millionaire at this rate


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Thanks  pumpkin, everything seems to be fine and I now have a cupboard full of drugs! Back again on Monday but I doubt that there will be much to see- it seems a bit soon?

Shawfair park are having an open day on July 10th if anyone wants a look around.

 to all.

fflower x


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

forgot to say, pumpkin to you get your bag making stuff from u-handbag?


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hiya ladies....embroyologist said our embryo was "beautiful" and graded 1-2. So its back with us and test date will be 14th july.
ET didnt go quite as smoothly as anticipated...cervix kept bobbing about lol so needed to be "brought out of hiding"..and held in place and the pressure and pain was pretty bad...nurse was going to give me gas and air if needed but i coped........also turns out the nurse knows me from school...so we were having a chat about people we knew whilst Dr Raja was rummaging about ...totally surreal and bizarre. 

I can't believe the difference a few days can make in this ivf minefield..one day your up..next your down..up, down, up, down. Its crazy   

Fflower...glad to hear all went well with your scan - so your stimming now yeah..?  I hope all goes well - good luck x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

minihaha- yey!!! congrats on being pupo!!!! xxxx


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Minhaha - that is fantastic news!! As everyone says, it only takes one - we had one perfect embie put back this time and look at me now!

Irish - I know it's very early on, but I feel a wee bit excited about your possible adoption route. I think with most couples, the bloke takes a wee bit longer to come round to any new approach in the becoming a parent stakes. I've a good friend who adopted this year and her DH took a wee bit longer to come round and is now a doting dad. They're very happy with their wee girl.

Sorry - posting and running today as I need to pack for my holiday - hurray! Hi to everyone else.
Love
Jan xx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Congratulations Minihaha! hope you can get some rest and pampering over the weekend- you've had a tough time this week! x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Minihaha -  Congrats on being PUPO.  Its quality not quantity and sounds like you got a good one xxx

Fflower - Thats exciting you have got your bag of drugs.  I would quite like a nosey round Shawfair but the 10th is our wedding anniversary and probably not the best way to spend the day.  Have just booked afternoon tea at the Balmoral as a surprise for DH, not going to tell him where we are going but did have to tell him not to book a restaurant for dinner!  Looking forward to it, will be a nice treat.  I have looked on that site but havent bought anything from it.  Have sold a few bags on Folksy and love making them.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

Hi girls
how's everyone doing? What's the plans for the weekend? I'm off so not sure what we up to!

Minihaha- well done on your wee embie  hope you are relaxing and getting that embie nice and settled in xxx

Quick question I'm thinking of starting reflexology and am wondering if it's OK to have it done whilst doing TX?
Have heard it's really relaxing and helps with stress  if anyone has had reflexology could you give me your opinion?  

Michelle xxxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Michelle- i did acupuncture during some cycles and reflexology during 1 cycle. I really enjoyed reflexology it was so relaxing, but there are days you must avoid (i cant remember them but ur reflexologist will know) xxxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry - thanks for info think i'll go see about it coz i stress myself easily already   
how u doing anyway?? 

xxxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

i'm doing ok thanks... been getting some pains which r really worrying me at the moment and my sickness has kinda passed (which is stressing me out too- i'm never happy!!!) apart from that i'm doing really well thanks xxx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

How you all doing?

Minihaha - congrats on being PUPO hun, that sounds like a wee fighter, so hopefully snuggling in for the long haul    Hope you're taking it easy and DH is treating you like a queen!

Michelle - reflexology is ok to have during treatment, but best to try to find someone that has expewrience in dealing with infertility or pregnancy, as there are some bit of the foot they need to stay away from during treatment.  I tried it in between cycles and found it very relaxing!  

Pumpkin - yeah for your last Zolly!, hope the next couple of weeks goes quickly and you can start to get organised for starting again  

Irish - somehow I knew that your were heading that way  .  So glad you've made the first step and and DH will be right along behind you when he gets his head round things.  Please let us know how you get on.  Big hugs    

Big higs to everyone    - oven is beeping, so better go carve the roast chicken - mmmm starving!
Dxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hiya ladies, hope everyone has had a good weekend..despite today's volatile weather !!

i'm not coping with this "resting" business..for me it just translates to slobbing around eating !!!!!  i am getting very crabbit and lethargic and quite simply..BORED. What are your thoughts on some gentle exercise during 2ww. If i dont get out and get active i am going to put on all that weight i have worked so hard to lose. I have been unable to stop eating today, its just the boredom. Do you think a gentle half hour swim and a wee session on the bike & cross trainer would be ok..?

K x


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Sorry to share my sad news but felt you may all want to know how things have been going - my DH no longer wants to work at our marriage.  I have been going for counselling but he won't make the effort to come along and there is no longer any intimacy in our marriage, he has always had a low sex drive but now it is non-existent, he is unable to make efforts to spend time with me and can't even communicate how he feels, so at the suggestion of my counsellor, I wrote him a letter of things marriage need to survive and sadly we have none of them anymore and he was unprepared to meet me half way so we have agreed to divorce. I still have all the interests I had when we met ie walking, going for meals, drinks etc but he feels unable to commit to even that. 
Emotionally I feel unable to deal with it at the moment as still getting through the whole infertility process and just when I thought I was getting stronger and coming out the other end, having handed in my notice at my hospital job to free up my weekends, he throws this on me.  I of course am the one who has to start the ball rolling as we are living like flat mates under the same roof and he has suggested we could continue to live with this arrangement forever (it's convenient for him as he doesn't want to lose his precious garden) but I cannot live indefinately in this situation.  In the current climate I will have to do it for a while as I can't afford to move out, might be out of a job in March 10 but couldn't live like this forever as it's killing me being with someone I still love and want intimacy with who doesn't feel the same.   

At the best I hope that after this is all over and we have sold the house, I can hopefully get my life back on track as a single person, meet some new friends and then it would be a bonus if I was to meet someone else and fall in love and that children although not likely with the clock ticking could still be possible in the future through adoption or my own with a different person.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

Owen - I'm so sorry Hun you have really been through so much recently     
i really hope things work out for you because you deserve to be happy 
sending you massive hugs        
take care hunni xxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Owenl - Really dont know what to say    Cant imagine how you must be feeling right now, to go through what you have been through is bad enough but to have to go through all this on top of everything else must be so difficult.  I just    that you will come out of this a stronger person and that you will be able to rebuild your life and make new friends and find happiness, you really deserve that.  Take care and keep strong


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Very quiet on here recently, where is everyone hiding??

Fflower - How are you doing, have you been back for scans?

Minihaha - How are you finding the 2ww?  Thats the bit that I am least looking forward to going through again.

Well I have my dates for starting round 2.  My downregging is going to start with my next (and final) zoladex next week, so I will start stimms beginning of August with EC aiming for around 18th August.  All starting to feel real and a bit scary.  Am thinking of just working through the 2ww this time.  I took it off last time but obviously didnt make a difference.  Ladies who got their bfp recently what did you do, did you carry on as normal or take things easy?  

  to everyone.


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hi Everyone

Sorry, I've not been on for a while.  I haven't had time to read through all the previous posts, but Owenl darling, I just saw your post and I'm so dreadfully sorry.  You've been through so much.       I'm thinking of you. x

I'll have a read through everyone's posts tonight and send a proper post in.

Started d/r on Sunday so we're on the road again. 

Love and hugs to all.

RJ
x


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi 
how is everyone

Has anyone done the short protocal for icsi? this is what we doing so any info would be great!!!


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi all
I did a long post yesterday then lost it! Congrats to pumpkin and RJ on getting going with d/r- although this whole treatment thing is such a mixed blessing, isn't it? Up then down...

I had a really down day on Tuesday as DR got a call from the consultant asking him to go straight over to the hospital for hormone and chromosone testing. No explanation, no mention of this when we had our last meeting. We wont get the results until next week, when hopefully I'll be having EC. I'm really freaked out by this, what are we supposed to do at that stage if they find a genetic problem? 

Yesterday i felt a bit sick and convinced myself I had OHSS! I feel okay today so hopefully my body is fine and its just my head that's lost the plot! I've got another scan in the morning so   for good follie news!

 to all x


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## macgirl (Sep 30, 2008)

Hi everyone 

I haven't been on here for a while as needed a break but came on last week to catch up on everyone's news - good and not so good.

OwenL - am truly sorry about everything that has happened. Please take care   .  I really hope that you can get the resources to move out soon as I know someone else that was in a similar situation and it really wasn't healthy for her.

Last time I was on we had just decided to cancel our 2nd self funded cycle and wait til our NHS turn comes up.  We discovered the waiting list had dropped and that we were due at latest next March plus my hubbies job was at risk and he had gotten a paycut.  We decided that whilst paying for the first attempt to avoid waiting 3 years was fine (hospital actively encouraged - not surprisingly) but this time round we were essentially 'jumping' by 9 months didnt really make that much difference.  Also was not sure I was ready for 2nd cycle - or rather ready for it not too work.

Anyway it was all going fine - we got a kitten (still fab!) and have booked a holiday to Far East for September so much to be excited and grateful for until we got some news last week! 

Close friends who were also having difficulty conceiving told us that they had finally fallen pregnant - just before they were about to go for 1st IVF cycle.  I know I should be happy for them but I am just devastated.  They were the only couple really in our close knit of friends who knew and understood our problems and now they are expecting we will be the only childless couple.  I really thought when they fell pregnant I would be happy for them but it si just so difficult.  They just feel like another cliche of the couple who fell pregnant just before starting IVF - am frankly sick of people telling me these stories although it should give me hope it just p*sses me off that it never happened to us.

I don't regret delaying our cycle because it was the right thing for us to do but timing is not great because if we had been going through a cycle and been successful (I know it's a big if!) then we would have been expecting around the same time - which would have been perfect.

Although it is getting a bit better now it has sunk in - everytime time I think about it and all our friends I feel like a complete outsider.  I feel so bitter and hate all our friends at the moment which is not a nice place to be.  I even envy a friend who has two babies but had MC's on her first and third pregnancy because even with all her difficulties she has managed to conceive 4 times - I have never managed once in nearly 4 years of trying. I am ashamed to feel this way.

I cried for days - which is really upsetting hubbie but none of us can help how we feel.  To be honest I think everything would be fine if it weren't for this.  Our friends were actually due to come for dinner but knew that the news would probably upset me so they told my hubbie 2 days before  -  so we cancelled.  However we have a wedding next month so am going to have to face them sometime.

I have contacted ERI for counselling last Friday (asked for Janette on the advice of everyone here) but am still awaiting a callback - does this seem a long time to everyone?

Sorry for the long me post - will catch up on everyone's personals soon!   

Off to look for my PMA............


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi all

Macgirl hope you're feeling better today.  I'm sure everyone on here has had those kind of thoughts when friends announce they're pregnant.   that you're the one with good news soon. Getting some counselling sounds like a great idea.  

I had another scan this morning- 11 follies, mostly around 11-12mm. Back for another one on Monday (we get DH's karyotype results then too) so if everything's ok EC on Wednesday hopefully!

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

fflower - Hope all the tests come back ok.  Sounds like your stimming is going well, not long now.

Reikijan - Thats great you are downregging, I will be right behind you all things going well.  Last time it was the other way round I think you were a few weeks behind me.  

Macgirl -     Its not easy is it?  Hoping you find that PMA and hang in there.  

Well i was doing ok but today noticed a bit of brown discharge.  I have also not had as many hot flushes in the last week or two.  I'm worried AF is on its way which it shouldnt as am on zoladex, final one due on Wednesday.  Phoned the RIE but they said not to worry and to take next zoladex as planned on Wednesday and to speak to my GP then if I am concerned.  It maybe should put my mind at ease but its not really.  Hmmm, not sure


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls 

How you all doing this weekend?   

Mini - no swimming during 2ww!   The advice is gentle exercise only, so nothing thats going to break you into a sweat!  I know its hard sitting around, but it really is the best thing.  Lots of nice long walks are great, or yu need to find other ways to entertain yourself - shopping trips, meeting girlie friends for coffee, a good book?  Try to take it easy hun and good luck with 2ww       

Owenl - oh hun, was so sorry to read your news    .  So hoping that you can get the house situations sorted out soon, and you can start to plan for your new life hun.  Hoping for good things for you in the future, but please be gentle on yourself over the next few weeks and months  

Pumpkin - wow, that seems to have come round quickly all of a sudden!  I know it'll not feel like that to you!   Wishing you lots of luck with your cycle        .  I think working during 2ww is the best thing, as long as you take a few days to recover from EC and relax after ET.  Working the 2nd week is a good way yo keep your mind occupied and as long as you've not got a strenuous job, then it should be fine.  I did it this time and it helped keep me busy.

RJ - congrats on starting d/r today, keep drinkning lots of water to keep the symptoms at bay!  Good luck for your txt       

Michelle - yes, I've done short protocol - done most things on the end!  Its great as no d/r, so straight into stimms, so goes really quickly.  Sending you lots of luck for your cycle - when do you start?      

FFlower - well done on your follie count, thats fab    Don't worry about the karotyping, just one of the tests thats needed, and should have been done earlier, but very unlikely to find anything wrong.

Macgirl - sending you a big hug    .  Hope you manage to find some PMA, and the counselling will help with that - phone and harass for an appt if they don't get back to you soon!  Its so hard being the last of your friends - I've been that way to so many times.   Try to concentrate on you and DH and your wee kitten, and that dab holiday you have planned.  You'll be nice and relaxed after that to get ready for txt again next year.  Besides, you don't want to have to be expecting at the same time as a friend - you'd have to share all the fuss!   Be good to yourselves hun, and it will get easier    

Big hugs to you all  
Dxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

Hi PeanutsHows u doing?  I've to go in when i get AF in august for a mock transfer and bloods then we will start when AF comes in september      cant wait. Could u give me any info on short protocol?  Just the nurse we seen got quite muddled up herself  so came out a bit confused  Michelle xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi everyone

Very confused at moment    AF seems to be coming but it really shouldnt after 3 months down regging.  Trying not to worry but its not working!  I see the nurse on Wed for the next zoladex so hopefully she can shed some light on whats going on, just hope everything is ok.  Would like things to go smoothly for once!

Peanuts - Glad to hear you are doing well.  Thanks for advice about 2ww, think I will work but just take things easy, my boss is aware of the situation so will be able to help ensure I am not doing anything too heavy.  May also just do half days as will be going back to work on a phased return after my surgery in a few weeks time.

Hope everyone else is well,


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

AF arrived this morning sadly. Was at clinic waiting to be taken for blood test and took the opportunity to nip to the loo beforehand.....and there it was ...all the proof i needed that our treatment hasn't worked. They still took bloods as a formality :-(

I'm at work and i just feel numb but need to just get on with it i guess.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Minihaha, I am so sorry.  I didnt realise that was it your OTD today.  I remember having to go to have bloods taken even though AF had turned up and I just sat crying in the waiting room, I wish they could take you straight in rather than sitting there waiting. Sending you big    .


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

Minihaha i'm so sorry       

pumpkin-pie how u doing? when u starting tx? xxx

michelle x


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Oh Mini       

Darling I'm so sorry.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Michelle, i had my last zoladex today, so that counts today as first day downregging.  Have appointment for my baseline scan and starting stimms on 5th August I think it is (my head is like a sieve at the moment, blame it on the anaesthetic  )  AF has not shown up and nurse said its just that there will be some of my own hormones in my body so might get some discharge but shouldnt bleed, so feel reassured.

ReikiJan - How are you doing?

Minihaha - You take care of yourself


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

So sorry minhaha. There are no words for something like this.   

I'm doing my trigger injection tonight, EC on Friday morning.
FFlower x


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi everyone,

Mininhaha, so sorry. Hop you both are taking time out together to grieve. . Hope you are okay and take time out and speak to the ERI about what they are going to do differently next time.

Owen, don't know if will read this but I ws so sorry to hear about your and your Hubby. I hope you are doing okay and manage to sort out some agreement about the house. You've been through so much and I just want to wish you all the best for the future.

ffLower, will be thinking ofyou on friday, but it looks as if your follies are growing nicely.

Jan, Peanut and Berry, how u ladies doing?

Just a quick update on me, I was at the ERI for my 12 week scan and all is looking good. Was mightly relieved to see the wee wriggler. I can't thank you girls enough for getting me through the tough times when we got negative after negative and you've been such a great support. I'll probably take a back seat from FF but I'll still lurk to see how you are all doing as I'm sure there is a lot of luck to happen for us ERI girls.

Take care everyone

Vonnie


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Just popping on to wish Fflower good luck for tomorrow xxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

thanks ladies xxxxx

Fflower...good luck for EC tomorrow hunni, i hope all goes well, will be thinking of you and keeping everything crossed xxx

I have not even phoned the clinic for confirmation of my blood results or to discuss follow up appt or counselling or where we go from here. its too raw at the moment but i will give them a ring tomorrow. I am in quite a lot of physical pain , sorry for too much info but its a very very heavy period which i guess might be normal after treatment. Just makes it harder to move on when you are coping with physcial pain on top of the emotional upheaval.

today started off ok and around mid afternoon i thought "ok this is tough, but i am coping not too bad, i will be fine just need to have some down time and chill and life aint too bad apart from the no baby thing right now"  and then a pregnancy announcement in dh's family brought our world crashing down round our ears. I think i actually went into shock....talk about s**t timing or what ,  to be fair the couple who are expecting don't know the full ins and outs of our situation....but omg it didnt half hurt when i knew they were at my in laws announcing their happy news and me and dh were at home licking our wounds. I keep replaying it over and over in my head but i just need to get a grip...i can't preoccupy myself with other people's lifes i have to focus on me and dh and he is just so sad right now, if i'm honest he is sadder than me or maybe its just cos when you love someone you feel their pain and upset more than your own. DH has a huge family and they are pretty full on when babies are on the way..and i know they would be happy, ecstatic even for me and dh the bottom line is they are happy for someone else right now and it hurts, really hurts.

A close friend of ours is due her baby later this year, one of the "lucky" ones who conceived the month before her treatment commenced and i really hoped to be pregnant before she had her baby to ease the jealousy and feelings of envy i have experienced since her pregnancy was announced. Another friend had a baby in the spring..she also conceived naturally the month before her tx was scheduled so i just feel so alone right now as i feel i have lost my confidantes as they have moved on in the nicest possible way and i feel like the "1 in 3" that are struggling. Its rare i guess that 3 close friends ttc for so long and are about to embark on treatment at similar times...but we had something in common..even if it was heartache and sadness. We are similar age and of course i can't help measuring and comparing myself..how come they conceived au naturale before they had to embark on treatment. I know its destructive to think like this but misery likes company as they say...and i have lost my company. And i cant help feeling resentful...for no other reason than me and dh have been ttc for many more years than they had and yet when i need them for support they are busy with their own happy lives. God i sound bitter !!     

The nurse said to me yesterday "oh what a shame, it was such a good embryo" ..to be honest that just made me feel worse..in time of course i will appreciate that we were lucky to get such a good embryo particularly when they only collected one egg after my rubbish response during stimming

so the plan right now is to try and enjoy the summer and then restock in the autumn and look at self funding another attempt..not sure if this will be at ERI or not, time will tell.

Sorry for such a long woe is me post but its theraupatic to get it out my system.

Love to all , its tough for all of us so i am leaving a    for all you lovely ladies , thanks for your support xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Mini, sending you big     Very emotional reading your post as it brings back how I felt after getting my BFN.  its horrible and nothing really makes it feel better.  Not much consolation but it does ease and you do pick yourself back up but you have good times and bad.  Right now it wont help much but you have to hold on to the fact that you did get a good embryo and it just didnt take but doesnt mean it wont take next time, thats what I keep telling myself anyway.  Take care of yourself and we are here when you need a moan, shoulder to cry on or someone to cheer you up.  It is hard when others get pregnant but our time will come, keep positive.  There are so many ladies on here for who that is true and its their stories that remind me that our dreams can come true.  Hang in there mini


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Mini - oh hun, so sorry to hear your news, sending you and DH a big hug       Your post was so heartfelt, and believe me we've all been there hun, so don't worry about feeling bitter or woe is me, we're all here for you to moan and rant to whenever you want.  It will take time, and you and DH might go through the grieving process at different rates, so please be gentle with each other.  I know it feels like you've lost your close circle of friends, but they will still be your friends in years to come, but right now you need to protect yourself - just remember you're not alone   .  I know you don't want to think about it, but when you phone tomorrow, get put back on the waiting list at ERI.  Might be worth looking at GCRM and seeing if they'd do anything differently, but ERI don't need to know that unless you definitely decide to move.  I found the counselling service at ERI really helpful through my journey, and the ups and many downs, might be worth a thugh in the weeks to come - DH can go along too.  Take care hun    

fflower - any new on EC?  Hope things went well and you've ot your feet up and taking it easy   

pumpkin - well done on last Zolly shot!  Roll on the 5th August     

Michelle - They might give you you're drugs when you go for dumming transfer in August, then when AF arrived in Sept you should start stimms on day 1 or 2 of AF.  You'll start d/r drugs at the same time, which stop things from going too quick.  They'll see you in about a week after starting stimms to see how things are growing, then shuld see you every couple of days as things grow.  Should stimm about 10-14 days depending on how you react, maybe a bit longer if they're waiting for some wee ones to catch up.  Need to make sure you're drinking lots of water during stimming, and getting lots of protein for good eggs - so drinking milk or eating eggs, chicken, etc.  I always drink pineapple juise as well that can help to thicken the lining, and some people recommend eating a couple of Brazil nuts a day too, again for selinium.  Hope that helps, let me know if you need any more info.  Sending you lots of luck for your cycle        

AFM - had my 12 week scan today, and all was well with bubba.  So relieved - might actually start to believe  it now!  Just wanted to agree with what Vonnie said and thank you all for your support and friendship on thread through all my ups and downs - and there've been plenty over 4 years of txt!  Sending you all big hugs    and lots of fairy dust     , please try to stay positive and have happy thoughts - some of us have longer journeys than others, but it'll all be worth it in the end      
Dawnxxx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

minihaha, so sorry. s**t timing indeed.

thanks so much for all your good wishes. EC went well today, got 12 eggs and miraculously DH's sample was the best we've ever had by far. they were doing ICSI this afternoon so should get a call in the morning. Shawfair staff were so lovely, I felt totally pampered!

still a bit dozy, going back to bed!
hugs to all fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

fflower - great news on the eggs, hope you are resting up.  When is ET planned for?  Hope your embies are growing strong as we speak.

Peanuts and Vonnie - Great news on the scan.  Hope you are able to relax a little and start to enjoy your pregnancies   

Only got one week left before I go back to work   And then less than 3 weeks till I start stimming - Help!!!


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi all
I'm having 2 embroys put back this afternoon- yay! There were 3 with 8 cells this morning so they'll be picking the best of those. Any advice on getting them to stick? Do you think a day or two in bed makes a difference?


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Fflower, thats good news.  To be honest I am starting to think it doesnt really matter what you do to make them stick, they either will or they wont.  Last time I didnt do much, just lay on couch and took it easy for a few days and took the whole 2ww off work.  This time going to take it easy first few days but going to go back to work and just try to keep my mind off it , not going to be easy.  I think you have to do what you think best and what you are happy with.  Good luck xx


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## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Hi Fflower - I realise this is probably too late as you will be away having your embies returned, but there is a lot more evidence with IUI that resting afterwards makes a difference than with IVF embryo transfer. Some places recommend total bedrest for days, but this isn't necessarily any good - you want your body to be functioning 'normally', so gentle walking during 2ww (not violent aeorbic exercise), ordinary activity is fine. I have taken 2ww off work, or gone back the next day - try to keep stress down, and go with what you feel works for you.
I have ALWAYS found that ironing is a thing to avoid on the 2ww - but that's mainly because I hate ironing with a passion, and would use any reason to avoid it.

Good luck!

And in case it is so long since I posted that no-one remembers me, I have been around for a while, but post more often on the 'poor responders' thread... Am on another 2ww (this time FET after DE cycle at GCRM - cannot recommend them highly enough! Lovely clinic, lovely staff, all I need is the right result and I will sing their praises for evermore)

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Lovely to see some 12 week scans for folk who've had a long wait for this time. Congrats to Jan, Vonnie, Peanuts. Such good news!
best wishes to all
Elinor x


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

thanks so much for your advice girls. I think you're right- life as normal and try to avoid becoming a basket case.

Elinor, what a difficult time you've had! I really hope this cycle works for you- when is your OTD?

fflowerx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi FFlower, how are you doing with the waiting?

ReikiJan - How are you, when do you next go back for another scan?

Hope everyone else is well.  Big hugs to Minihaha xx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

I'm fine at the minute, thanks pumpkin. I've got lots of little jobs organised to keep my mind occupied! I think next week will be tougher. We should get a call today to let us know if we have any embryos suitable for freezing, but I won't be too upset if we don't. My hopes are on the two already on board! Have you got a date for your baseline scan yet?

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Fflower, glad you are doing ok, I found the 2ww the worst bit of the whole thing, not that any of it was particularly enjoyable!!  Yes I have my scan two weeks tomorrow.  Good luck with the call about the frosties, I didnt get any last time but hoping I might this time just incase, although not sure as with all the surgery I have had worried I wont get many eggs, last time had quite a few follies but not many eggs in them.  Guess you just dont know second time round whether it will be the same or different.

Hi to everyone else


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## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Hi everyone!

Fflower - hope the waiting is ok... I am two days away from OTD, and starting to get frantic! Was ok week one, and have managed a bit of distraction but now verging on obsessive.... Hope you do better!

Pumpkin - You are so right about the 2ww... and from my ridiculous experience of cycles, you just get different responses different times - can't even tell till you've done one protocol more than once whether it was just 'not meant to be' that month, or whether one or other type of protocol works better for you. It is so hard to put yourself through it again, but lots of people don't get lucky first time. Its not just numbers of eggs, its quality you need, so try not to stress too much about numbers of follies. I have had better embryos (and more on day 3) with some cycles where I have had fewer eggs - once had 7 and only 1 fertilised, then it arrested so ET cancelled, but when I only got 5 I had 3 embryos good enough to go back (but not to freeze). So, when the scan comes round and the next phase starts, just hold on to hope for the eggs you get - it really really only takes one.  

Hi to everyone else
love 
Elinor x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Thanks Elinor, good luck for your OTD.    that you get some good news    I am trying to keep remembering that although I only got 5 eggs, 4 fertilised and 2 were really good grades so if we can get that again I will be happy.


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Only one day to go Elinor! I admire your resolve in staying away from the pee sticks!

We didn't get any embryos to freeze, the other 8 cell got very fragmented and one of the slower ones did make it to blast, but the cells were all for the placenta and none for the baby. Although I wasn't too keen to do a frozen cycle I'm a bit worried now that the embryos we put back on day 3 might not be any better.

I've had a few cramps and the tiniest amount of pink stuff, so I'm praying something has implanted!  

Pumpkin are you doing anything in terms of diet/complementary therapy to get ready for the next cycle?

fflowerx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Fflower - I have been drinking decaff earl grey tea since last year, prefer it now to the real stuff.  Last time did acupuncture this time not bothering.  Diet wise once I start stimms will up my protein, by eating lots of nuts, pumpkin seeds and meat and eggs.  And will use a hot water bottle on my tummy, unless the weather is really hot and in which case will just lie in the sun!!   Apart from that    that it will work and this will be our time.  Trying to keep relaxed but I think I will start to feel a bit more stressed once things get going.  We never seem to get good news every time we have a scan so its always a dread there is going to be another cyst there.  

Elinor - Good luck for tomorrow.


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## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Fflower- hope your 2ww goes well, and don't worry about the ones they didn't put back - they choose the ones that looked the best, so they will be just fine.    

Pumpkin - when do you have your next scan? Hoping it brings good news, but I understand if you have had concerns in the past you have more worries each time...  .

Tested today and   !! Still a bit stunned, and I know I have a long way to go yet, but delighted I have got this far, and with an FET!

Good luck and all best wishes to everyone else out there
Elinor x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Elinor - Congratulations that is fantastic news    Hope everything continues to go well for you.  My next scan which will be to start stimms is a week on Thursday.


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Elinor that's wonderful news! Congratulations!
fflower x


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## bambinoplease (Nov 23, 2009)

Hello ladies,

I have been watching this thread for a while waiting patiently for our ICSI treament on the NHS.  We are now at the top of the list and due to start treatment in October, I am so excited but also now turning into a mad woman again!  My DH has antisperm antibodies and just last week I discovered I have lowish AMH, its 5.8 and that was taken last August so waiting to get the results from blood taken last week.  I don't really understand the AMH thing but have got myself pretty worked up and so wondered if anyone on here had similar AMH to me and whether the ERI adapted your treatment to ensure you responded well to the drugs?

Elinor - congratulations on the BFP!

x


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

Hi Ladies, xx
Congrats to Elinor, such lovely news xx and to Fflower i am keeping everything crossed that come test day you will get good news    

Pumpkin , i hope you too are doing well and all is going to plan  xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

@bambinoplease, welcome to the forum and good luck for your treatment, we all know what an anxious time this is waiting for treatment to start. You mentioned low amh levels. The first time we got mine checked was the month before we started treatment and i was gutted when mine came back at approx 2.5. I questioned the clinic if long protocol was still the best plan for us and they continued with it. Down reg went fine but stimulation proved me to be a slow and poor responder and after stimming for an extra week they did egg collection and only got one egg. However that one egg fertilised with icsi (dh has morphology issues) and we got a grade 1-2 embryo which the clinical team were delighted with (they had spoken of abandoning our treatment prior to this due to my slow response so it really is quality over quantity and to get to ET stage i was delighted) Sadly we did not get pregnant and if we do try again then perhaps there would be a change to the protocol..each cycle is different. We have our follow up appt on 31st august so will be more in the know after that but my advice to you would be don't get caught up or over analyse stats, percentages, rating or numbers during your treatment..i know its tough and at times impossible not to fixate but the clinical team really do have your best interests at heart and you have to take a leap of faith and accept they are doing all they can to make your dream possible. It really does just take the one follicle and one egg to make the dream a reality and before we embarked on treatment i was so worried of the outcome but once you are going through treatment, stressful as it is, you really do become able to take each day as it comes, and you just don't know how you will respond to the drugs so i know its hard but try and keep an open mind right now and losts of positive thoughts and don't allow yourself to become fixated with numbers and percentages. I wish you the very best and i hope that all goes well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

also just to add my friend who had lower amh levels than me...somewhere in the region of 1.5 , got her au naturale    a couple of days before she signed her consent papers for treatment.  Lucky beggar lol xx  I don't mean to sound flippant but i know what a state i got in with my low amh levels and it really is not worth the worry fixating on..ok its a factor to consider but having now gone through tx its not the b all and end all as you just don't know how you will respond to the drugs either way. xxxxxx


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

thanks Minihaha but I don't think its going to be good news. I did a first response test (the 6 days before your period kind) and it was definitely negative.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Fflower -    but its possibly still too early to test otherwise they would make your OTD earlier than they do, so hang on in there.  As long as no sign of AF I would take it as a good sign.

Bambinoplease - Hello and welcome, just as minihaha says dont get too caught up in the levels at the end of the day it doesnt matter too much.  I had a really good AMH level but then they found a cysts had to be remoeved and in the end I only got 5 eggs but 4 fertilised and 2 were good quality sadly neither implanted but that can ahappen whatever the quality.  Just ask if you have any questions the girls on here are really helpful

Minihaha - good to see you back hope your followup goes well.  My advice is take lots of questions becase we found the Dr didnt say much and it was up to us to ask everything. i wrote everytihing down before hand so i wouldnt come out and say oh i wished i had asked that

Well I started back work yesterday, phased return so just 3 half days this week.  Next thursday all being well will start on stimms, cant really believe it and bit worried something else will go wrong before then, just hoping and    that the scan will be ok.  Cant believe its 7 months since we went through all this before    just    that this time it will be a different result


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## bambinoplease (Nov 23, 2009)

Hi all,

Thanks so much for your responses.  I spoke to a friend today and they also said the time up to the treatment is sometimes worse than the actual treatment itself.  Suppose I was just dissapointed at the AMH results, just thought we only had male factor to deal with.  You are right though, no point worrying about all the figures, after all thats the doctors problem to overcome.

Thanks minihaha - sorry to hear you treatment didn't work but like you say thats good news that you got one egg so hopefully if you do decide on treatment again they can adapt accordingly.

Thanks pumpkin-pie,  also sorry to hear your treatment was not successfull but great to hear you are about to start again, keeping everything crossed for you. I will absolutely take the offer of asking lots of questions, its funny I have managed to put the whole process out my head for a long time now and now that it looks like treatment is going to start its all I can think of.  

Thanks again.

x


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

hello ladies

just wanted to let you know that I got a   this morning! OTD is friday so hope to get official confirmation then, but meanwhile I'm over the moon! thanks so much to everyone on here for all your support, I so hope good news is on its way for all of you x


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## bambinoplease (Nov 23, 2009)

fflower that is absolutely brilliant news, congratulations!


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Elinor & fflower - congrats on those BFP's, overr the moon for you     .  Take it easy and try to think happy thoughts for the next 3 weeks to your scans.

Pumpkin - well done on getting back to work, hope its not too bad.  Roll on starting stimms and getting on that rollercoaster again!  Hot water bottle is ok during stimms to get the blood flowing, but not during 2ww - althugh you can use a warm bottle on your tummy, but definitly not hot!  Good luck for your cycle        

Bambino - welcome to the thread hun   .  The girls will give you lots of support and advice.  As they've said already, try not to worry too much about your AMH results, it is very much a snapshot in time.  I have an AMH of 2.3 and ended up with 12 eggs!  I'd never had the test before and had always been a good responder, so it really freaked me out on my last cycle, so try not to get too worried about it    .  Believe it or not, couples with MF usually get on better on cycles, so try to keep your chin up hun.  Good luck for your cycle        .

Big hugs to everone else    
Dxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Fflower - Yeah!!!      Fab news, Told you you were too early to test the other day!  Hope Friday brings some more good news for you.  What test did you use, if I make it this time to near test day I think I might do a test if AF doesnt appear I want to know before the blood test.

Peanuts - Nice to hear from you, glad everything is going well for you.  How are you feeling?

Had a lovely (not!) conversation with the secretary at my work, I had popped in when I was off and went to pick up something from the office, she knew I had an operation on my ovaries and then just said "So does that mean you cant have kids", I think she took me that much by surprise I didnt cry I just said well it makes things a bit harder and then changed the subject.  Then today she asked how I was doing and said I was doing fine, then she said have they told you what the outcome is and are they going to test your fertility.  I thought it was a bit personal, I dont really know her that well and certainly dont want to speak about it in the office when a patient might just walk in!  Normally i would get a bit emotional but thankfully I didnt gave a suitably vague answer and left!  sometimes people should think before they speak!  
Hope everyone is doing ok, week tomorrow I start stimms    ............hopefully!!


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Pumpkin, what a mad woman! I really think some people must be lacking a vital part of their brain which should be controlling their mouths.

I used 2 first response (early response) tests and then two clearblues. I steered clear of the clearblue digital at this stage- it seems far too definite for me. I think a faint line is the most you can hope for before OTD, or at least that's what I'm telling myself! Today's result was only a fraction darker than yesterday's, hopefully that's allright? God, the ways we find to torture ourselves!

Love to all
fflower


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

FFlower - contrats

Pumpkin-pie- how u doing? bet u glad thats u started now

Peanuts - good to hear from you! how u and bump

Does anyone know if its ok 2 be on anti depressants whilst doing TX? I'm not on them but I'm finding it really hard coping just now, works really stressing me and i just want 2 leave but know i cant coz we need the money and if TX works will need maternity.
Really want to get out of this dark mood    

Michelle xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Fflower - I can laugh about it but cant believe people say these things!    good luck for tomorrow   

Michelle - Not sure about the medication, I imagine some is ok and others arent but if you speak to your GP they should be able to find you something that doesnt have side effects that would effect treatment.  Might be worth considering counselling too, there is one attached to the clinic.


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## bambinoplease (Nov 23, 2009)

Peanuts, you have put a huge smile on my face with those comments, thank you.  Feeling pretty positive now so going to get myself in the best shape and the best state of mind to give ourselves the best chance.  Congratulations on your BFP, looks like you have been on a very long journey so you must be over the moon!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Just popping on to see if any news from FFlower,    that you got some good news today


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Pumpkin, thanks so much for asking. Its positive! My hcg was 120 which I thought seemed a bit low, but the clinic didn't seem concerned. First scan booked for 3 weeks today, so off to make myself a new ticker! How are you doing?

Michelle- hope your feeling better today. Treatment ( and the run up to it) really takes it out of you so be gentle on yourself x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

thats good news, not sure about hcg levels but a positive is a postive.  Roll on the scan   

I am doing fine, one week to go then will be on stimms, scary thought but exciting too,


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey everyone

Just a quick note to give Fflower and Elinor my congratulations.  I'm delighted for you both!!         

Bambino - Welcome!!!  Everyone here is lovely and the best support in the world. xx

Pumpkin - hey girl!!  Looks like we'll be "almost" tx buddies again!    I think this is our time, kid.    Oh and that secretary at your work? She's a complete and utter spanner. Honestly, what a twit. To be honest, you're a calmer person than me - I'd have shoved her dictaphone so far up her jacksie it would have taken a good surgeon a week to locate it.   

Michelle, lovie - I'm sort of at where you are right now. I totally understand.  I'm stuck where I am because I'll need the maternity leave if this tx works.  I've had so many problems at work while on the treatment but you know what?  It's just a f***ing job.  Excuse my French everyone. Seriously though, I made the decision not to get stressed about it.  I did suffer with depression a few years ago and could see myself falling back down that hole again in March this year.  I took 2 weeks off and declined the anti-ds.  I've been trying to keep my body chemical-free and detoxed for this tx and I hope it's worth it.  Before you think about going on anti-ds, speak to your GP about some other options, maybe some counselling first?  I've never come across a problem that can't be helped by talking it out.  I'm also a big believer in alternative therapies.  Reflexology, Reiki, Cranio-Sacral are my favourites, so relaxing.  A good Aromatherapy massage can do wonders as well.  Anti-ds in my opinion (and I took them for a long time) should be a last resort, when all else fails.  PM me if you want a chat about this further, I'm happy to help if I can.  Hang in there, love, it does get better, I promise.      

I've been a rubbish FF, I know.  I have been on keeping up with all of you now and again and I really have been thinking of you all.  I'm just afraid to overthink all this this time around, so it's easier not to be on here.  I don't know if that makes any sense? 

The time of night I'm sending this won't have escaped some of your notice...    Feeling a bit off so can't sleep.  I'm 2 days into stimming, on Gonal-F this time rather than Menapur.  Has anyone had experience of both?  If so, did you have any better results with one or the other?  I'm feeling quite "full" and a bit tender in the tummy region already.  It's either a good thing or a bad thing but I'm refusing to symptom-check (see above!   ).  EC looks to be the week starting 9th August. Don't know what day yet. 

Thanks to everyone who replied with their support and advice re my work situation.  I've been given some unpaid leave.  And told that if I take any sick days should the tx fail or I miscarry, I won't be given an official warning.  Sweet of them.    So, should the tx fail this time, I'm looking for a new job. 

Anyway - am off to catch the end of "Queen of the Damned" on TV, don't know about the rest of you but I think Stuart Townsend in leather trousers looking all pale and interesting is rather tasty...yum....    

Mwah! to all!

RJ
xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Quick post

hi Reiki - almost cycle buddy!! hope all going well, why are you on a different drug this time, did they say? Not sure what they will do with me if it will be the same or not. Thats rubbish about work, not sure if this is any help but I found it on the IVF board on babycentre its a post a girl had put in reply to someones elses about time off work

"Basically according to EU law if you can prove that you have a fertilized embryo in your womb (ET!) then you are legally pregnant until a pregnancy test proves otherwise. 
You are entitled to all the same privileges as a normally pregnant woman and protected from any form of discrimination. If an employer were to disagreed he could be taken to court for sex discrimination!
Anyway, the below was sent to me when i was having ivf from a HR manager. Hope it helps
Hi Mallory/Bangers/other ladies
I'm so sorry I've not got back to you sooner. Had been off work for 2wks so have been mad busy since & not had a minute.
I only looked in one place to get you some answers but thought I got enough stuff to answer your Qs. The case I mentioned was in Austria & was called _*Mayr v Bäckerei und Konditorei Gerhard Flöckner*_(not surprised I couldn't remember it! ). 
At the bottom I've put some useful (& easy to read, I think) links that explain the implications of the case & the situation it's now put employers in. I'll write some of the main points here though. Hopefully everyone will understand & it won't read too much like an essay. Don't worry too much about the legal jargon, it makes it sound more complicated than it is. This is my job so it all makes sense to me, but if it doesn't to anyone else please just feel free to ask me anything. I will say though, that with legislation like this there aren't any hard & fast rules. A precedent has been sent with this case which means employers are now running scared with anything IVF related. Until another precedent is set there will always be grey areas but it will be considered 'best practice' to let IVF patients do what they need to do.
If anyone's having problems with their employer I would always advise them to contact the ACAS helpline for advice on 08457 474747.
Happy reading, hope it makes sense.
Sarah x
_Case Summary_The case centred on whether a woman in the later stages of IVF treatment should be classed as a pregnant worker, and therefore enjoy the extra protection against dismissal offered by the Pregnant Workers Directive. The European Court of Justice (ECJ) ruled against Mayr (the woman) on this point, saying women were only entitled to protection as a pregnant worker once the embryo had actually been implanted, but - critically - said that once a female employee's egg has been collected, she is taking part in procedures that only affect women. Therefore unlawful direct sex discrimination would occur under the Equal Treatment Directive if a woman were to be dismissed because of the fact that she was undergoing the final stages of IVF treatment. 
The Court concluded that women are protected by European law on equal treatment of men and women - which is implemented in the UK through the Sex Discrimination Act. This means a woman undergoing invasive fertility treatment is undergoing a process which cannot be experienced by a man and therefore to subject her to a detriment or dismiss her as a result would be direct sex discrimination. Legal experts have warned that the ruling could see women sue employers who disciplined them for taking time off to undergo fertility treatment.
So employers are being advised that if someone is unable to go to work because of IVF treatment, it is probably best practice to treat the time in the same way as any other period of illness or a medical appointment. Further, employers must not treat a female employee undergoing IVF less favourably simply because of the treatment she is receiving or because she may, as a result, become pregnant at some time in the future. This will be direct sex discrimination, for which compensation is unlimited.
http://www.personneltoday.com/articles/2008/03/13/44789/ivf-treatment-and-the-mayr-decision.html

http://www.personneltoday.com/articles/2008/02/27/44609/women-having-ivf-can-claim-sex-discrimination-if-treated-less.html

http://www.personneltoday.com/articles/2007/07/17/41511/legal-q.html 
http://www.personneltoday.com/articles/2008/05/12/45802/weekly-dilemma-ivf-treatment.html


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi all,

I just wanted to pop on and say hi.

Pumpkin I'm glad you are starting your cycle at last, it seems like such a long time. I have my fingers crossed for you sweetie.

Reiki, I haven' t been on either, for the same reasons as you, not wanting to dwell too much on the whole process. I did a protocol for my first IVF, which was gonal-f and meno something, it wasn't menopur, but I can't remember what it was. It was taken at the same time. I down-regged with the pill for 15 days before starting. 
I got the same number of eggs as at ERI, but they all fertilised, whereas 8 fertilised at ERI. So overall it was a better cycle for egg quality, and it was much easier on my body. I was so ****** doing the gigantic down-reg at ERI.

Hi to everyone looking in here, peanuts, AnneS, Silver and Flash.

I just wanted to let you know what I have been up to. I went back to the clinic in Europe on my own over a week ago because we had frosties there. Two of the frosties survived, they were blastocycsts, which is a day five embryo. One defrosted perfectly and one had lost a percentage of its cells. So I had the transferred and came home and am testing on Tuesday.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Marta - Good to hear from you, have missed you    Will be    that its good news for you on tuesday


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## clarabelle74 (Aug 8, 2007)

Hi,

Just thought I would pop on and say hello as, although I see some familiar names (and congratulations Peanuts and Silver), there are lots of new names on the board now too!

We have an appointment at the ERI for September, and presumably will be on the waiting list for tx after that.  I had to lose lots of weight for my first tx and, naturally, gained all of that weight back while pg, so I have to get back into a diet and exercise regime and shift the excess over the course of the next six months!

Looking forward to getting to know everyone.

Claire xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

Feeling a bit stressed.  Yesterday when i went to toilet noticed some pinkish/brown discharge, like i normally get when AF is about to arrive and like I had last month.  Last month I phoned RIE and they said not to worry, but i am worrying!  I feel after 4 months downregging I shouldnt be bleeding and just worried what the scan will show on Thursday, worried its the endometriosis or another cyst and just dreading them telling me I cant go ahead with treatment.  i know I shouldnt worry and should just wait and see but really nervous, was very weepy over weekend, IVF is bad enough to go through but just feel there are so many hurdles before you even get there.  Anyway enough feeling sorry for myself just hoping the days go by quickly till Thursday.

Claire - Hello, hoping that time goes quickly till your appointment and that your next cycle is as successful as the first.

Marta - Good luck for tomorrow   

Reiki - Did you have a scan today?  Hope all went well.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Discharge has now changed to blood, really worried


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

I phoned RIE and they went and spoke to one of the consultants, he thinks it is because I have been down regging for so long that my lining is really thin therefore can easily bleed a little.  So to go ahead with scan on Thurs and all being well will start stimming.  Just    that everything is ok.  Feeling a little bit less stressed (but not much   , I am going to be a wreck by the end of this!)


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## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Just a quick post from me to say hi to folk and hope all is well.

Pumpkin - sorry you are having stress about bleeding. Hope RIE have reassured you, and hope scan Thursday confirms all is well to start stimming. will keep everything crossed!  

Fflower - CONGRATULATIONS!! Wonderful news - and counting down the days till your scan! I'm too scared to put a ticker up....

Bambinoplease - the waiting *is *what really gets you down about treatment - hope you are coping ok, and hope it is all worth it in the end for you. I'm sure you'll do fine once it all starts!

Peanuts - delighted to see you at over 14 weeks! Do you put it down to the LIT, the intralipids, the clexane, aspirin or steroids or the lot? I have just sorted more steroids and clexane from my clinic, although GP was happy to do prednisolone last year as NHS prescription this year they have refused and won't consider clexane. I wounldn't mind if they were clear about it, but I felt so stupid making an appointment to be told I really shouldn't even be asking, then they wrote a letter which was clear about the clexane but still confusing about steroids and I felt so stupid phoning to ask them about it, but wasn't going to waste another appointment and end up having to get to the clinic as well... Hope you aren't having similar hassles.

Michelle1984 - yes, there are antidepressants you can take whilst having treatment. I was on them last year, and there is some evidence (thank you, Dr Google) that if you are clinically depressed you stand a better chance of conceiving (through treatment or naturally) if the depression is treated. I was on Prozac, which both GP and consultant at GCRM agreed was the best if ttc. I got pregnant last year (later had miscarriage). A few years ago I had similarly been anxious and stressed and a few weeks off work sorted it - I think I was signed off 3 weeks - but last year it wasn't shifting and all the other plans (acupuncture, exercise, trying to distract myself etc) weren't helping, so I took the medication. Fresh air and exercise might seem like old wives tales, but the first time I was struggling I wrote myself daily exercise and activity plans and did some serious walking every day (as well as positive journalling, seeing friends and forcing myself to socialise), but I was only able to focus on all that *with *the time off work and it really helped. Work can be sh*te at times. Hope things pick up for you - and that you can focus properly on the treatment, and that it works!

ReikiJan - hope the stimming is going ok - when do you have first/next scan? will be sending  and  your way.

Martakeithy - everything crossed for OTD (is it THIS tuesday, or do I have to walk around with my legs arms and eyes crossed till next week?) Sending  and  your way too!

Clarabelle - don't think I've said hi before. Congrats on your little one, and good luck with next cycle - and chin up about weight loss. If you've done it once, I have every confidence you can do it again! (by the way, last time I was at RIE they told me they've changed from BMI 32 for treatment cut off to BMI 30 - hope this doesn't panic you (or that you are so far under this by the time you get there that you laugh at their treatment restrictions!)

Everyone else - hope all is well with folk. I am still panicking at every twinge, not really believing it will last and counting the days till my first scan (17 to go). It is the waiting that does my head in! Waiting for treatment, then the 2ww, then even longer for first scan.... Never mind... Off to distract myself with work for a while before I go home and sleep for Scotland (could happily do 12 hours a night at the moment - and when I am sleeping I'm not panicking!)
love and best wishes
Elinor xx


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## eclaire (Jan 11, 2007)

Lurker alert   
Most of you probably don't know me but I used to be a real regular addict on here  Just wanted to reply to *ReikiJan* - I did Puregon one cycle (as I understand it basically the same as Gonal-F) and Menopur the other, got one egg more with Puregon and a better fertilisation rate, but fell pregnant both times, so don't know whether that actually tells you anything or helps  I personally have more faith for the cycle when my son was conceived, but that is just because we had such a great outcome 

*Clarabelle* - great to see you here  You are a brave woman indeed and the first of the 'old' crowd I have seen back on here  Hope all goes well at your appointment. How is gorgeous little Maeve doing? Can't believe she is 1 already 

Hi to everyone else 

Best wishes,
Elaine


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi ladies
Pumpkin- the bleeding sucks! you are SO entitled to have a straightforward cycle this time around.. hope things settle down and you get the go ahead at the scan.

Clarabelle- Hi, I'm a clarabelle in real life.

Elinor- are you just tired or are you feeling sick too? i'm dealing with the 3ww by being totally positive, in my head I have decided everything is fine and I'm going to have a healthy baby in April! I've even started looking at maternity clothes. I figure even if something did go wrong I'd at least feel that I'd enjoyed my time being pregnant.

hugs to all
fflower x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi everyone,
Have not been on for months. Now trying to do this via my phone...
Have started downregging today for August FET. Scan on the 18th. I will start catching up soon. 
Big hug to you all!

C


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Just wrote a big post with messages to everyone then pressed something and shut down the page!  AHHHHH!!  Cant be bothered typing it all again, so here is a shortened version

AnneS - Glad you have got a date for next cycle and    that this will be your time.

Fflower and Elinor - hope your waiting till scan goes well

Marta - Hoping all went well with test   

Reiki - hope your last scan went ok, was it yesterday

Well I have a scan tomorrow, cant really believe its starting again.  Really worried about scan as I never seem to have a straightforward scan, lost count of the times they have said, we will need to get Dr T in to have a look!!  Need to go tomorrow and get some protein rich foods to munch on!  Anything else anyone would recommend doing.  Feel a bit disorganised this time.  Have been drinking decaff tea since last year, not doing acupuncture this time as didnt feel it helped, will use a heat pad or hot water bottle during stimms.  

you wait all thist time to have your treatment and then when the date comes closer its really scary


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Hi folks,

Just wanted to come and cheer you lot on   ! There seems to be lots going on just now - I've not been on for a while.

First of all - Owenl   - not sure if you are still reading on here, but I am SO sorry to hear that things haven't worked out with you and your DH. It must be so tough still being under the same roof. Way back, when I was moderator on another website support board I knew a girl who found out that her DH was having an affair with someone at his work - needless to say, she was devastated. She moved out and went about rebuilding her life. A year or so later, we got a message to say that she'd met someone new and was engaged. After another few months, we got another message to say she was pregnant for the first time. I am praying and crossing everything that you'll be back on here before too long to tell us that things are looking up. And as for being too old for more treatment - just look at me   !!

Elinor - would I be right in thinking that I know you from a real-life fertility support group? I'm so chuffed you've got your BFP and I really hope it's a sticky one. It was donor eggs wasn't it? That's what did the trick for me too. It's really scary in the early days (and the not so early days!) but worth it!

Fflower - great news about your BFP too - hang on in there and I hope the 7 weeks scan brings more good news. My first HCG level was 120 too - and I was delighted - 60 is a reasonable positive and anything over that is good news.

Claire - really good to hear from you. You're very brave, hopping back on the IF roller coaster. Hope that you get your BFP as quickly as the last time although, I remember you had a long wait to cycle because of their weight criteria - hope they're a little more generous on that front given your success the last time.

Pumpkin - Really sorry you're going through it with af etc but glad you've got the go-ahead to have your scan. Will be thinking of you and hoping that this one is simple and they DON"T have to call in Dr T!!

Marta - how did your testing go? Thinking of you.

Michelle - I was on anti-deprassants for this last cycle - am just coming off them now. I checked with an ob/gyn before I continued to take them. There are a few studies that show possible side effects for the baby, but nothing conclusive and my specialists attitude was that there was a bigger picture and that keeping me positive was very important for the baby's health. I'm coming off them now so that I can breast feed, but would definitely go back on them if I got post-natal depression - they were and absolute godsend for me.

ReikiJan - good luck for this cycle!

AnneS - SO good to see you back on here. Will be crossing absolutely everything for you for this cycle - you deserve a huge heap of good luck.

Bambino - welcome to the board!

Sorry of I've missed anyone. My main symptom at the moment seems to be a very dodgy memory - drove to DH's mother up north this weekend and got as far as Dundee only to realise that I'd left ALL my medications at home. My wonderful dad picked it up from our flat and met us on the north side of the Forth Road Bridge. Today I forgot I'd turned the hot tap on in the kitchen and flooded it. Not entirely sure whether I'm safe to be let loose on a class of children in a week and a half's time   ! Got a horrible cough/bug thing that's been here for 2 1/2 weeks and is still making me feel rubbish (on antibiotics just in case now). And I've been diagnosed with sleep apnea to add to my list of ailments, so off to the sleep clinic to be fitted with a special machine and mask that blows air down my throat to stop it closing off and keep me breathing OK - really hoping lack of oxygen hasn't affected the wee one. All that said, I am so grateful to still be pg and still in disbelief that I have made it this far. Wishing the same for every single one of you!

Love
Jan xx


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## minihaha72 (Aug 21, 2009)

hiya ladies, sorry its such a quick post. Just wanted to say congratulations to Fflower on your bfp, i hope you are keeping well, congrats xxxxxxxx

Pumpkin - good luck for tomorrow's appt , i hope all goes well , will be thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxx

Lots of love and best wishes to all ladies, as i said, sorry its a short one xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## clarabelle74 (Aug 8, 2007)

Pumpkin - fingers, toes, etc all crossed for you today. 

Anne S - I'm praying this is your time. Sending you lots and lots of good wishes and positive thoughts!  

Jan - sorry to see your health hasn't improved.  And I know I keep saying this, but I'm so, so thrilled - 18 weeks!!!!! 

fflower and Elinor - good luck for your scan. 3WW seemed endless! Positive thinking is always good though, and helps to pass the time happily.  Elinor, BMI limit was 30 when I had my last cycle, so no big shock there, thankfully! Although I have a serious addiction to cake now, which may make things harder... 

Marta - hope the test was good news.  

I'm slightly confused by the whole weight restriction issue, as the RIE's own literature states they want you to _aim_ for BMI under 30, but they will not treat you if it is over 35. Does anyone know whether they will treat you with a BMI of 30-35 if you are paying? I was given no choice last time, it had to be under 30, but that was after waiting 3 years for an NHS cycle, and I know NHS cycles are subject to some different restrictions.

Ideally I would like to be lighter and fitter anyway to try and recreate the successful circumstances of our last cycle, but I guess it could be good to have another option.

Claire xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi, just a quick message just to let you know how I got on today at the hospital, could have been better but guess could have been worse.  guess i might have been more shocked if it had all gone to plan!

The lining of my womb was nice and thin however there was still some fluid showing which is probably the bleeding that I have been having in last few days so they want to wait till next week to start the drugs.  Also there was anotehr collection of fluid around the left ovary similar to what I had before so will need to take the antibiotics again after they do the egg collection.  THey said there was a couple of small cystic structures but they were small and they werent concerned about them.

Was doing ok at first during the scan etc, DH was really stressed, then afterwards when the nurse came to chat through when we were to come back and give us new consent forms as they have all changed from last time I got really upset. 

Why cant anything go to plan!  Had it all worked out that ec and Et was going to be during annual leave so wouldnt have to take any more time off work but now it wont be, feel bad as work is busy and have already been off for 8 weeks with the op, but not much I can do, not taking 2ww off but still need to take time for procedure and want a couple of days off after the transfer.

Minihaha - hi, how are you doing


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Pumpkin, really sorry your scan didn't go as smoothly as you hoped. Try to stay positive though and have faith, 
this cycle can work!

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Thanks Fflower   feeling a bit better today.  How are you feeling?


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi Pumpkin
I'm feeling fine today. The nausea I had for the last week seems to have stopped. It seemed very early for morning sickness, but I have decided that it must have been a combination of high progesterone levels from using the pessaries and my body starting to make its own. Now I've stopped the pessaries, it might take another week or two for my own progesterone to build up enough to make me sick again...I'm not sure how scientific/logical/likely this is, but thats my theory!

Is there any way you can re-arrange your annual leave to fit in with your new EC date? Psychologically, I think it really helps to be on holiday and not stressing about work.

fflower x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Fflower, I think last time the progesterone made me feel a bit nauseous too.  Am going to take my annual leave as planned and then take time off for EC and ET and a few days after ET.  Not sure yet whether it will be taken as annual, sick or special leave, my boss is going to get back to me.  Last time she said she was prepared to give me 2 weeks special leave for a cycle in the end I just used annual as had lots to use up after being off, so not sure what she will say this time as work is a bit busier so might be a bit harder to grant the time off without it being annual leave.  Have decided to work during the 2ww as think it will be good to keep my mind off things but just make sure not doing anything too heavy as my work is quite active.


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## Fiona M (Jan 20, 2007)

Hi Girls,

Just to let you know I had a wee boy on 19/7/10, Robert James weighing 6lb 11oz.  He is just a wee bundle of joy and so precious so don't give up girls as it took us 4 attempts and well worth the wait.

Good luck to all that are trying and congrats to those that are pregnant.

Fiona xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Fiona - Congrats thats lovely news, hope Robert is settling in well and you are loving being a mummy.  Thanks for letting us know, gives us ladies hope who didnt get their BFPs first time round .  Congrats xxx


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## pinkfairy2 (Aug 1, 2010)

Hi everyone,
I am new to the forum, have been reading for a while and have now plucked up the courage to post.

I am 25 (nearly!!) as is husband.  His SA showed he has low motility (34% I think) and low morphology (9%) but a good count (148million).  We have been referred and are awaiting an initial appointment.  I have had progesterone and rubella blood test, which shows I am ovulating.  No reason to suspect I have an issue (fingers crossed).  Our appointment will probably be in October (a loooooong way off!) aswe had a letter about 4/5 weeks ago to say the waiting time was 12 weeks.  This is all a bit daunting.  I am wondering what they will do at this first appointment?

I am also thinking about what treatment we will be offered.  I have looked up IUI and IVF and ISCI and understand the differences but are all 3 offered at ERI?  The other thing that is getting me really down is the waiting time for IVF.  Realistically how long will I be waiting for?  We really cant afford to pay, although I would love to.  I have also heard that if you pay, it comes off your NHS attempts.  For this reason, it seems silly to pay first because then you have less attempts 'free'.  But then I dont know if I can cope with the wait.

I know I am very young and definately have time on my side (please dont tell me this, I am so sick of people saying this to me!), its just that Iwhen that feeling is there, as I am sure you will know, nothing can take it away.

To be honest, my heart is still breaking and I am just looking for some advice with how to cope with this.  Thank you.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Pink fairy - Hello and welcome    I can relate to how you are feeling, we first started having fertility tests years ago because DH had a kidney transplant so we knew there were likely to be issues.  Initially I was fine and DHs tests improved so we held off going on the IVF list as we were advised but no baby so went on list.  We were on waiting list for 3 years, it was really hard waiting and thats the truth, but you can do it.  We decided that we would go with the 3 NHS attempts and save our money if they didnt work to fund one or two private cycles, if that doesnt work then we will look to adoption because emotionally I dont think I could go through any more IVF cycles (not sure how I am going to cope with a second one!!).  

Anyway to answer your questions, Yes RIE does IUI (although I personally didnt have this), IVF and ICSI (we had ICSI and 4 out of our 5 eggs fertilised).  They will recommend whats best for you.  Yes I know how annoying people telling you the age thing is, the consultant told us that age is on our side (I am 33, I dont feel that is young!) its so hard when you want a baby being told that isnt any comfort.
First appointment will probably take history and do a medical examination and then decide if any further tests are required.  Someone who has been more recently will probably be able to advise better, I think Michelle on here had her appointment more recently.

Any questions just shout  xxx

I am off on holiday, back on Tuesday night for my Scan wedensday then off again!! Looking forward to a break 
  to all xxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pinkfairy - Hi I'm Michelle and I'm just starting TX nxt month. Your first appointment will be to discuss your situation go over any results, then they will put you on the waiting lit. We were on the list for a year and a half then got call to say we were at the top of list. We had an appointment on 29th June to go over everything and filled in consent forms i also got an internal scan to check my ovaries and womb (everything OK) had bloods done and  DP done another SA . I'm waiting on AF to come (should be sunday?) so i can go in for a Mock Transfer. 

Hope this helps Hun, i know how hard it is I'm 26 nearly 27 so i get the same as u alot but the time will pass quickly. If u want any more info I'm here Hun xxxxx

Pumpkin pie - how r u? did eri say anything to you about how many shots you get on nhs?  they told us that its changing!

well I'm feeling a bit better have spoke to my manager and she is going to try to give me a week off asap we chatted about everything and she is trying to understand what I'm going through and said she will do what she can she said shes worried about me how sweet feel better for the chat.
Wish AF would come should be tommorrow / Monday so i can call the clinic for my mock transfer    

Michelle xxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pinkfairy- ment to say that overall we only waited 1 year 11 months but i think that they are trying to reduce the waiting list xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Michelle - They didnt say anything at the RIE but considering the current financial situation in NHS wouldnt be surprised if it did change.  Did they say what it was changing to or when?  Will ask them when we go back.  Thats good you are getting a bit more support from work.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

Pumpkin-pie - They told us that it will be 2 fresh cycles and then free till all frozen embryo's uses (if it works first time then we have to pay to keep any frozen embryo's) i asked if it applies to us as when we were put on the waiting list it was 3 goes but they are not sure when it is being put in place! when you next at the clinic? would u ask in case I've picked it up wrong
IT'S GOING TO WORK FOR US       

Michelle


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## pinkfairy2 (Aug 1, 2010)

Thank you michelle and pumpkin for your replies and welcome! How exciting that you are about to start Michelle! Keeping fingers crossed for you! And you also Pimpkin, from what I gather you have had a very rough time of it and am really hoping this is it for you too.

Thanks also for the information, it is really helpful to hear.  I hope they do reduce the time waiting, I really do but you have to wonder with all the NHS cuts.  As you say they are already cutting the number of attempts down.  This is exactly what we thought pumpkin, best to save the money until after NHS but this will all depend on how long we have to wait because I just dont know if I can wait so long.  I do know that this sounds ridiculous as I am so young but have wanted a baby for ages (I am not some mad young girl who does not work and just has babies by the way!! We have a house and good jobs and have planned this for so long, seems silly now looking back at how much we thought about everything before we started trying!)

I am a teacher and am a bit worried about the impact this will have on work (I know thats not important but I love my job and hate having time off).  Lots of time off for appointments and tests and then when we actually have treatment.  Anyway best not to dwell on that just now I suppose.

I thought they might send me for more tests - do you think they will? I also wondered if I would have t have an internal scan at the first appointment?  I am worried about this.  I had to have treatment for abnormal cells on my cervix last Novemeber (that was an ordeal in itself and I cant believe I have been so unlucky in life) and my recent smear was painful.  I am dreading the HSG test as well.  I am a bit of a baby when it comes to medical things and my husband had to come and hold my hand when I had my blood test! I am clutching at straws at them moment, hoping that they can do more tests on him and fix the problem with jags or tablets but I know I am in cloud cuckoo land and that this is not going to happen.  

So at the initial appointment will I have anything done to me? Will OH?  Does anyone know what tests they are likely to send me and him for?  Sory for a million questions - am sure I could think of a million more! Its all just so confusing and there are so many different things on ithe internet its hard to know what is true.  Its great that this thread is just for ERI as at least you know you are getting real information and not jsut maybes and mights.

Sorry for such a long post too - I am very talkative and always have lots to say!!


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pinkfairy - At our first appointment they just discussed our options and put us on the waiting list and DP had to do 2 SA a couple of months apart. They never done anything on me as tests form GP showed that i ovulate and smear test was clear so they were happy with that. Can i ask if you know what the problem is?  My DP has a low sperm count . I got my internal scan in June everything OK it's not as bad as you think   

Michelle xx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Pumpkin - just wanted to wish you all the best for your tx this time round.

Silver - thanks for your post.

I'm actually doing OK.  Still read the posts from time to time as just because it didn't work out for me doesn't mean I don't want you all to be successful in your tx.  Welcome to the newbies too.

My DH and I are trying to remain friends, living under the same roof but have now had marriage separation agreement written up.  Strangely after all we have been through, although not an ideal situation to be in, it's working for us at the moment.  If anything it's a relief that we are no longer fighting over things we can't fix in our relationship.  He has his life and I have mine and I'm starting to enjoy life again as a single person.  I may meet someone in the future but I'm in no hurry and if I'm lucky enough to have kids with someone else that will be a bonus for me.  Looking at putting house up for sale early January and hopefully things will be a little better by then and it will sell quickly and we can both move on.  But I now feel OK about it all, after dealing with IVF rollercoaster and recent miscarriage, anything seems possible and I'm remaining positive about my future.

Wishing you all the luck in the world on your journeys.

Silver, Berry, Peanuts, Vonnie - hope you are all enjoying your pregancies now!

Lisa


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hi everyone

A bit of a "me" post as am sort of short on time just now.  I'll do a proper post tomorrow.

Have EC tomorrow morning at 9am.  Trying to stay positive but realistic.  Fingers crossed, eh?

I'll chat to you all tomorrow.

RJ
x


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## pinkfairy2 (Aug 1, 2010)

Oh ok I was assuming they would do lots of tests on me to rule out any other issues but hopefully not! My OH has reduced motility and morphology but count is good. I was kind if hoping they would do IUI first but nit sure what numbers need to be for that abd it's probably better to go straight on IVF waiting list since it's so long. he has made lots of lifestyle changes like drinking more (he only used to drink a few cups of coffee a day plus one glass of fizzy juice!!) and taking vitamins and drinking less alcohol (probably not an issue anyway as he doesn't drink that much) and using laptop tray rather than having it on his knee. Not sure if any if this will help, hoping very much so but probably not. He also told me that he has been feeling pretty stressed at work since jab (SA was done in may) and he was off at the end of June with stress so not sure if this affects things or not. To be honest I am just clutching at straws hoping things will be fine and that we won't need treatment, although realistically in my head I know we will. Things are never straightforward for us so it makes sense!


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## roma2006 (Nov 15, 2006)

Peanuts

Congratulations on your pregnancy.  Not been on for a long time and delighted to see your news.

Roma


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## lilsparkles (Jun 16, 2010)

Hi peeps,

I'm new to the post but am also currently on waiting list at RIE and would love to have someone who is going through the same thing!

I'm 25 and my OH is 31. Oh has Cystic Fibrosis which makes him infertile. We have to have ICSI to be able to have a baby. Only thing is OH is really embarrassed about the fact that he has to go through ICSI / IVF  and does not want anyone to know. I'm so excited / nervous if I don't tell anyone i will burst!

We have just had OH sperm retrieval on Thursday 5th which had mixed results; sperm were present but they don't think they will survive the thawing process  

Got a pleasant surprise with waiting times though! We were lead to believe the current waiting time is 3 years, which although as some of the girls on here have said that they have been told too " you got time on your side" or " it will fly in" is not much of a consolation. Dr Irvine had advised that it is more around 1 year to 18 mths. providing the tories dont withdraw funding that it!!

I'm soo excited..... So now its just waitin on a phone call for a year or soo tee hee

Hope everyone getting on well with treatment and would love to hear what happens next etc!

Nat xx


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## pinkfairy2 (Aug 1, 2010)

Hi Lil,

I am also new to the post and am waiting for our initial appointment at RIE.  You are slighlty ahead of me.  I suppose I can understand your OH's reluctance about IVF/ICSI.  At the moment, our known problem is with OH's sperm (shape and movement) and at first, he was distraught at the thought that we would need treatment to conceive.  To be honest I still don't really think he has accepted it.  I think he believes it will not come to it, when really, it probably will.  He feels that he can't do the one job a man is meant to etc etc so I imagine your OH feels the same.  I obviously have told him this isn't the case at all and that I love him more etc etc.  It's hard though when I'm crying about it all and so down about it.  You seem so upbeat so good for you - wish I could be like that.  How good to hear the waiting time is a bit less than I thought.  When I first knew we would need treatment I had in my mind about 1 year to 18 months, then I read somewhere else it was more like 2-3 years! At least that sort of wait is more do-able (although still very very hard!).
I am also 25 - never thought I would need fertility treatment at this age.  It has hit me really really hard and I have days when I am ok and other days when I am not at all.  I don't drink or smoke and I eat healthily and am a healthy weight.  It seems so unfair.  When I was at RIE having my smear done in June, there was this complete and utter chav couple (they were both junkies) and she was pregnant.  The waiting room for the departement I was visiting was right beside the maternity wards, labur wards, scanning room etc (how nice!) and they had clearly gone the wrong way.  A nice nurse was pointing them in the right direction and as the junkie passed me, she said "stupid ****" to her junkie boyfriend.  I was soooo cross and had to really hold back from saying something.  It makes me really mad.  
Will your OH have another sperm retrieval nearer the time of your IVF so that there is a fresh sample?  Sorry, not sure how all that works.  The really good thing is that there are sperm .there.  I am not too sure what happens next, but since you are ahead of me, you can let me know! This forum is a great place to talk to people who are going through the same and I am really thankful that someone pointed it out to me.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Ladies

Just a flying visit, I am actually on holiday this week but made a quick stop home today ready for scan tomorrow and hopefully starting stimms!!!

Lilsparkles - Hello and welcome, thats great you are on the list, hopefully time will go quickly and your treatment will be soon.

ReikiJan - Hope everything went ok with EC, I am totally lost with dates at moment so you might have had ET as well?  

Owenl - Glad everything is going as ok as it can be for you   and glad you are staying in touch

Well had a lovely few days relaxing in the west coast of Scotland and off for a few days more if this next scan goes fine!  Catch up when I get back


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi

well AF arrived 2day going to call eri in the morning to get my Mock Transfere booked      
michelle xxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

going in for Mock transfer tomorrow at 10am     

michelle xxx


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## bambinoplease (Nov 23, 2009)

Hi ladies,
Just opened a letter from ERI, says my AHM level is now only 1.2, I am gutted!  Not sure what to do now....feel so low!
x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello, quick post, just back from holiday, had a lovely time, really sunny which was lovely.  Only bad thing is the scan on Wednesday didnt go well.  The fluid from womb had gone but my lining had thickened from last week.  I knew the zoladex wasnt working, they dont know why but for some reason it has.  So now on double dose of buserlin and have to go back on Wednesday and hopefully can start stimming then.

Also asked about the changes in funding.  Please dont quote me but I think this is whats happening, for us it wont change as we have already started but for people starting treatment after July 2010 you will get 2 funded fresh cycles and then you will get frozen cycles until you use up all your embies.  So if you have lots of frosties you could end up having loads of free FET cycles till you get your BFP or the frosties are finished but if you have no frosties then you will only get 2 funded cycles, they are only allowing one embryo to be put back in, BMI is to be 30 or under I think and they are also talking about refusing treatment to people who smoke (not sure if thats just the woman or both partners) the nurse was talking about having to test people to make sure they arent smoking, apparently you can test the urine although she said they hadnt had anything in writing about that yet.  She said the newspapers had said there was a change in the age limits but she said they hadnt heard anything about that.

Bambinoplease - try not to stress about the AMH it really isnt the whole story as my AMH level when it was tested was normal (although that was prior to surgery) and I didnt get many eggs and some ladies who have had low levels got more.  Also its quality not quantity, sometimes I think its better to have a smaller number of good eggs than big numbers.  

Reiki  - Hope ET went ok and the 2ww goes quickly.

Michelle - Hope the mock transfer was ok and not too uncomfortable

Can anyone remind me when they count your follicles at baseline scan is that likely to be the total amount you will have or when you start stimms can you get more?  Stressed as they didnt seem to find many follicles when they were doing scan, worried my second surgery has taken away even more.  I know I shouldnt be worrying, but I feel there are so many hurdles and I havent even got onto the race track!!  Forgot how much you bruise with the buserlin too especially as am doing am and pm at the moment! Joy!!
This was meant to be a quick post!!   But needed to get it off my chest!


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## fflower (Mar 2, 2010)

Hi pumpkin
super-quick post as I'm just back from hols and still unpacking. i had a lot more follies by EC than I did at the baselinse scan- think I started off with about 7 tiny ones and we ended up getting 12 eggs.

I can relate with the burserelin- although by the end I'd actually got to like the injections as I was something concrete that I was in control of, and moved me nearer to my goal every day- but that might just be me!

fflower x


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey everyone

Couldn't get on for a a while, internet connection at home acting up.  

Welcome to Pinkfairy and Lilsparkles!!  

Bambinoplease - exactly what Pumpkin said, try not to worry about it, it really is quality and not quantity.     

Pumpkin - Oh pet, I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you. I really hope the Buserelin works better for you      you've had a rubbish old time of it. How are you feeling?  I hope you've no side-effects.  Re the follies - I only had 4/5 at the scan and ended up with about 11 and got 7 eggs.

I couldn't believe it about all the changes!!!  We had discussed this long and hard for the last few months about whether to put 2 embies back (assuming we got 2!!) and decided to do it.  Filled out the paperwork, everything.  So I'm in my nightie, ready to go in for ET when Dr Thong comes in, gives me a limp handshade and doesn't meet my eye and tells me that we can't have 2.  I was so shocked I just burst into tears.  Then he starts getting angry with us for questioning it!  I mean, we'd been in and out of there at least 10 times since July and not once was this mentioned!  They decided to tell us 2 mins before the transfer - you know, when you're supposed to be calm and serene.  DH almost had to stop me from strangling the man.     And it wasn't so much what he said, it was HOW he said it, like it was an inconvenience to him and we should have known.  There wasn't even an apology for not telling us sooner.  I don't like that man much. Anyway, rant over.

The ET went well, EC on Monday not so much (as usual).  My left ovary sits very high and last time they had to push quite hard on my belly to shift it down to get the eggs, this time they went around by the right side and moved my uterus.  Aye - that hurt.   But it really wasn't as bad as last time.  I was walking again by Thurs, however gingerly.    Anyway, we got 7 eggs an 5 fertilised (4 grade 2s and 1 grade 4) which we were over the moon about. YEY!

So after all the carry-on, they've transferred one beautiful little 8 cell embie and froze the rest of the grade 2s, the other little one didn't do so well.  

Fingers crossed for OTD on Mon 23rd     .  I've got a lot of stabbing pains, kind of AF-like, hope this little one stays with us. 

Hope everyone's well. 

Talk soon.
x


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Sorry - forgot to ask how your mock transfer went, Michelle?


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

ReikiJan - Glad EC and ET went well.  Cant believe they did that to you about the 1 embie.  They tried doing that to me last time too, just before I went in to ET but in the end they allowed us to have the 2 back.  Guessing they are likely to do it again.  So wrong when they havent mentioned it before.  Am hoping that they will let us have 2 after all the problems we have had but will have to wait and see.  Hope you are taking it easy.  and praying that your little embie is a good strong one   

Thanks fflower and reikijan for the advice re follicles, feeling a little more reassured, am now just wanting to be able to get to ET stage, it seems so far away, I thought after last time it would just be the 2ww to worry about but its going to be a difficult journey to even get that far.  Going to try to stay positive though, please keep reminding me of that, I was in tears last night.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi girls

well mock transfer went well on thursday we got the go ahead to start in september when af comes should be 7th not long    

hope everyone having a good weekent the weather is lovely been out a walk with DP and our pup ramsay going to frankie and bennies for tea tonight with people form work it was someones birthday so should be good no drinking for me tho  

michelle
xxxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey folks

Pumpkin - How are you doing lovie?  You hanging in there?   

Michelle - so glad all went well for you at the mock, not long to go now!! 

Well I've got NO idea what's going on with me.  I just cannot stop crying.      Up until Sunday I was feeling so positive.  Yesterday and today I've just been sobbing constantly.  My eyes are so swollen, everything's a blur.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Reikijan - sending you a big   lets hope the crying is a surge in hormones    When is OTD?

I am doing ok, keeping positive, nothing else for it, will see how tomorrow goes, its not going to be an easy cycle as if it goes ahead I dont think i am going to get many eggs or embryos but just    for at least one good one, thats all I need.


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Now Pumpkin, keep yer pecker up, lovie.    

I was so sure we were going to have a small/no crop this time but it was only in the 2nd scan after the stimming started that we saw the big numbers, so don't get downhearted yet - plenty of time for that later    , nah just kidding and ya know I am.  Best of luck for today's scan, let us know how you get on. 

Thanks hon,  OTD is Monday.  I think I'm just really stressing again about getting another BFN.  I tried so hard not to focus too much on it and lasted fairly well until this week.  Up until Sunday I actually felt different and was convinced it had worked, now I'm not so sure.      The whole family needs this too work this time, it's been an awful year for everyone and I feel like I'll be letting them all down if this fails again.  ....and here we go with the tears again


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

ReikiJan - You have to keep your pecker up too!    You need to start the next run of BFPs on this thread   

Well just having a cup of tea (decaff!) and then heading off for my scan, no point being early hate sitting in that waiting room and as we arent working today there is no rush.  Hoping and    that all goes well today!! Keep


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pumpkin - hope 2day goes well for you xxxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Today I have a smiley face    .  Scan went well, lining is perfect, a couple of small simple cysts but they werent concerned about that and they found a few more follicles - hooray    I think i have a total of 5 on one side and 2 on the other side, which isnt much compared to many people but for me and having had two ops on one ovary and one on the other ovary its good.  Cried when they told me that I had that number of follicles but in a happy way!  So start stimms tomorrow and can cut down the buserlin to 0.5ml once a day.  Go back for another scan on Tuesday to see how things are progressing.  

Thanks for the message Michelle, not long for you now, are you counting down the days?


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

That's great news Pumpkin!!  Am delighted for ya!   

What stimming drugs will be you be taking?

x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Thanks Reiki, PMA is back in action again!  I am on the Menopur again which is what I took last time, 3 powders.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

pumpkin - thats great news really oping it goes well for you    

yeah im counting the days AF due 7th sep so hopefully it will come on time then got to call eri and go see them within the first 3 days and start drugs      doing a short protocol not sure what drugs im taking as dr raja didnt say in his letter that the nurse had.

so its 3 weeks and counting        

michelle xxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi girls

this thread is quite just now  hope everyone is ok?

pumpkin - how r u?

reikijan - how r u? did otd go ok

michelle xxxx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey Michelle

I'm fine thanks, OTD isn't until Monday.  Am freaking out though.  2WW is so hard.  Luckily DH is good at being    so I'm steering clear.

How are you? Getting all excited?   

Pumpkin, you ok, Chicken?

Thread is VERY quiet at the moment.

RJ
x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

Reiki- Hope you are hanging in there, the last week of the 2ww is just horrible isnt it.  Hoping that Monday will bring you some good news and start a run of BFPs for the RIE girls   

Michelle - How are you?

Not much to report from here.  Day 3 of the stimms, got a bit carried away tapping the bubbles out of the syringe the other day and dropped it on the floor!  Dont seem to be bruising quite as much as I did when I first went on the Buserlin so thats good as go back to work on Monday and people in the changing room will be wondering where I got all my bruises!!  Hoping that Tuesday will bring some news that the follicles are responding, have had a bit of brown discharge yesterday and today but hoping that was just the lining that thinned from last week finally made its way out? Not sure how long it would take but the lining definitely thinned in last week and I hadnt bled really so hoping that is what it is and all will be well on Tuesday.  
Hope everyone is having a good weekend, nice and sunny at least


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## pinkfairy2 (Aug 1, 2010)

Good luck Reki, will be thinking about you and checking for news on Monday.

Thanks also to whoever (sorry terrible memory and can't look back) posted the changes to NHS IVF.  It doesn't surprise me that they are reducing the number of attempts, as much as it makes me so mad.  Also can't believe that about only 1 embryo (was very cross reading about reki, that is completely out of order!).  I can understand the age, smoking and BMI restrictions though.  Thankfully none of those are an issue to me being 25 (last Thursday!!It's all downhill from here - on the countdown to 30, the wrong side of 20!!), a healthy weight and non smoker.  It really makes me cross that they cut this back, we all pay NI and while I understand that there is a recession, this is people's lives they are playing with.

Ok so am getting really cross with the NHS to be honest.  I have still not had my smear results which were taken on 15 June at ERI following treatment for an abnormal smear in November.  6 weeks the consultant said for the results.  Have not phoned as do not really want to know at this stage.  I think probably they are ok, purely because of the length of time I have waited (if they were not am sure I would have heard sooner) but still!! It's a bit ridiculous!  Also have not had appoinment through for fertility clinic - the letter says if you have not heard within 8 weeks of posting your questionnaire back to phone.  So will be phoning about that because it's now 8 weeks.  I am dreading them saying they didn't receive it and that I have to go back to the bottom of the list (which I am not doing!!).  The letter also says you will get 6 weeks notice of an appointment, meaning that we will have waited more than 12 weeks.  Now I know that this may be a silly grumble but this is something which is very important to us and I can't bear the waiting.  I am not doing very well, am very much up and down (down just now).  Do you think they will make me go back to the bottom of the list if they didn't get our questionnaire?  I am just so worried about this and just want to have the appointment so that we can move forward.

Sorry that has turned into a moany post.  I hope everyone else s doing well xx


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Hey Pinkfairy

So annoying re smear test.  I gave up and went to Medicalternative for one otherwise they wouldn't start my tx in July (test due this month), you pay £100 for it but you get your results in 3-5 days, GUARANTEED.  It's a lot of money but better than delaying treatment. There is apparently a delay at the lab for smear results and can take up to 16wks for results!!!!!! But Medicalternative use a private lab.

If/when I get my BFN on Monday I'm going to hit the roof about only being allowed on embryo.  If they've ruined our chances because they don't want a high rate of twins on their stats I honestly don't know what I'll do.  And if they force us to have FET for our final attempt (if we're allowed to still have it!!), I'm going to the top and will go to the papers if I have to.  Who is reducing funding??!? I thought there had been an increase? Is it that pudding-faced little turd in Downing St?!?     

Sorry for the rant but I'm so sure this cycle has failed - am just not feeling it anymore - and am furious about the chance we lost.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Reiki - Where is your PMA, come on girl, its not over.  Keep positive, its going to be second time lucky for us both   Hang in there, not long now.    that it will be good news for you on Monday

Pinkfairy - I would definitely phone them to check they have it.  The waiting is so hard but the whole process of IVF is waiting, waiting and more waiting.  We should be experts by the end of it all but it doesnt get any easier!


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Well Pumpkin - looks like you were right.   

Did a peestick this morning (I know, I know) but......

   

Tomorrow is OTD and blood test but as haven't started to bleed yet and still having cramps am 100% sure all's well.

DH cautious to say the least.  Won't let me tell our parents...grrrrrr....

Well looks like the start of a new string of BFPs for the ERI girls.  Pumpkin, you're next!!!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Reiki - What did Auntie Pumpkin tell you!  Fantastic news, I am so pleased for you and your DH    What test did you use, if I can get to the day before OTD without AF showing up think I might test, as AF came early last time I dont want to get my hopes up and then have to wait for the blood test results.  I have a big    face for you today.


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Thanks pet!!  Can't quite believe it!!!

Did the Clear Blue Digital one. 

The result showed up almost immediately, none of this 3 mins rubbish!!


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

reiki-  WELL DONE HUNI ON BFP            so pleased for you had dh xxxxxxxxxx

im good cant wait for af 2 come getting excited now just wanna start x


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## ReikiJan (Aug 14, 2009)

Thanks Michelle!!

I'm still in shock I think. 

I did a few things differently this time which may or may not have made the difference.  Mainly, I stayed off pineapple and caffeine completely. I.e. no tea, and not even decaf tea during 2ww.  I took vit c and d, zinc, folic acid, co-enzyme Q10, calcium and fish oil capsules. 

But the thing I think made the real difference was the 2 colonics I had before DR started.  I can heartily recommend Gwyneth at Cleanse in Stockbridge.


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Hello girls

I hope no one minds me popping on quickly. I just wanted to say MASSIVE congrats to Reiki! I still keep an eye on thethread as I had so much lovely support on here in our 2ww and thru low AMH dramas!! Delighted to read your news Reiki and I wish you all the best for the weeks and months ahead!
Hugs,
Polly (and baby girl bump!!) xx


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## bambinoplease (Nov 23, 2009)

Congratulation Reiki, brilliant news!!!!!!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello

Glad to report that scan today went well, follicles are growing well, cant remember how many I have, there was maybe around 8 with a few smaller ones.  The follicles ranged from 6-12mm I think, and blood test was fine so to continue on the 3 menopur at the moment and back on Friday.  Really pleased to have a scan go well.  Hoping that the follicles continue to grow well and hopefully some of the smaller ones might sprout too. Have taken a notion to eating eggs, I dont normally like them but in last few days have had souffle, omlette, and boiled eggs and enjoyed them all!  Sitting munching pumpkin seeds (very apt considering my screen name!), brazil nuts, walnuts and raisins and a cup of decaff tea.  Also been having Ben and Jerrys icecream, does that count towards your protein   

Hope everyone is well, Reiki how are you doing, has it sunk in?
Polly - Good to hear from you, cant believe you are 20weeks already, time flies!


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## lynseylou (Mar 11, 2010)

Hi girls how r u all doin??

I am obviously new to all of this!
I start my IVF treatment o the 4th sept my first time so i am a little bit scared but excited at the same time, I'm getting treated at the royal infirmary!

hope to keep intouch

lynseylou x x x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Lynseylou, welcome to the board, thats great news that you are starting so soon.  I can relate to the feelings of scared and excited.  If you have any questions about anything just shout and someone will help you if they can.  Hoping that your treatment goes well


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## lynseylou (Mar 11, 2010)

Thank you I am finding it difficult to make out the shorthand for things lol so not sure wat things mean I'm a bit slow doh!!

Its a strange feeling!!!
Its good to know that their is these support groups and people u can talk to that know wat ur on about instead of having to explain all the time to friends n loved ones! as much as i love them.

Welldone to those who have had good news heres to more good news eh x x x


lynseylou x x x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

New home this way ladies >>>> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=245449.new#new


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