# Returning to work after adoption leave



## Juby1 (Jun 11, 2010)

Hi Everyone,
My DH and I adopted our son nearly two years ago. I love him so much and feel incredibly blessed to have such a beautiful little boy. My reason for posting is I have been offered my old job back as a Social Worker on part time hours to fit around my son's nursery. I have felt very lucky to be offered the work, particuarly as so many of my friends are struggling to find p/t work. We could really do with the money having pretty much depleted our savings and so I jumped at the opportunity, but here is the sticking point.... my job is in child protection.. I had my first visit to see a Mum this week and I feel like I haven't stopped   since. When my son first came home I didn't think I could ever return to my old job, knowing the neglect he was subjected to in his young life, but over time I thought I had got to a point where I had let go of alot of my anger towards his birth family. But now it feels like the flood gates have opened again, I felt so angry towards the woman I was seeing, although didn't let this show.

My boss is a good friend and I know is glad to have me back in the team and I don't want to mess her around but I don't know if this is a blip I can overcome, or if me being an adoptive parent means that working in CP will now always be too raw.

Prior to adoption my work was such a big part of my life.. I'm not sure what I will do workwise if I'm not a SW. Any thoughts / words of wisdom, would be greatfully recieved  

xx


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## Loopylou29 (Mar 4, 2013)

I know exactly how you feel. I'm not a sw but have lots of experience dealing with the same scenarios and making referrals to ss. I've removed children from their homes in all kinds of conditions and its gut wrenching. I'm actively seeking new employment as I don't feel able to carry on in my role.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi Juby

Is not an area I'm that familiar with but wondered if your employer offers any work related counselling / peer debriefing? 
I used to work in psychiatry and we were offered debriefing sessions to offload difficult issues etc. 
It's good that your boss is a friend, are you able to be honest with her? She might be able to help some way. 
Sounds like you really value your job so maybe worth trying to stick it out with the support of your boss and possible debriefing etc but if you still feel that way in time you may have to consider transferring elsewhere. 

Best of luck
GG


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

Juby I will PM you!


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## Juby1 (Jun 11, 2010)

Loopylou, although hard, it sounds positive that you have made the decision to start looking for different work. I wish you lot's of luck in your job hunting x 

GoofyGirl, thanks for your reply x  I do have supervision, but unfortunately it is not clinical supervision and there is v little space for reflection / talking about the impact of the work on your own well being. It's the nature of the beast I guess. Reading my posting back I think I have realised that I probably do need to move on. I've always been interested in doing a more theraputic role so maybe that is the direction I need to be heading. I just need to think about what exactly I want to do/  how I am going to fund it! I saw on your post you are going to panel in June. Just wanted to wish you lot's of luck, it is such an exciting time  As someone who has been there, please don't hesitate to PM me if you want to chat anything through!

Live in hope, thatnks for your message too, I look fwd to hearing from you! x


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Thanks Juby, yes getting excited now, just finished home study yesterday. Just waiting for PAR to be written up, referees to be interviewed and then panel. 

Exciting times ahead for you in choosing a new career!
Wishing you all the every best. 

GG xxx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Juby I work (am on adoption leave) in family law dealing with care proceedings a lot of the time and I found going through the process my work was SO hard to do; especially when we went to an adoption event and some of my clients kids were on the programme. Seeing the suffering up close was horrible having only met their neglectful parents who denied it all...then to see the kids in the 'flesh' on DVD who were so screwed up the camera couldn't hide it was too much.

I cannot and will not return to that line of work, it was hard enough at the time but now being a mum to two beautiful babies who but for their removal would have suffered as horribly as their siblings is just too much for me. Whilst I always appreciated how messed up these people are, you cannot close your eyes to how utterly selfish and self-centred they are blaming everyone else and denying utterly what they have done when it's there in front of you.

I think it's too much to ask really to go through the adoption process then return to these sorts of fields. I know I won't be and am thinking carefully about the future already x


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Our SW came from a background in Child Protection last April, perhaps with your new knowleddge of this end of adoption you would like to work with a VA?
Our SW also works part-time (which is a nightmare for us as her communication is c**p too), we think alternate weeks, Weds & Thurs then Tues, Weds, Thurs.

Maybe speak to a VA near you, I know they are taking on more people due to the influx of recent adopters-to-be being turned away from LAs.

Paul xx


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