# Dare I even think of number 3



## sleepypenguin

Just needed to get something off my chest, 3 years ago tomorrow we were told our only hope of having kids was ICSI and now here I am with my 2 beautiful children. I have just bagged up DD newborn clothes for a friend who is expecting identical twins and am getting upset about it. I know I should be happy with what I have got it could have all been so different. Yet I am already thinking of number 3. I know in my heart another baby could take away so much from my 2, and after 3 months I would be back here wanting yet another. On top of it all DH isn't coping too well with 2 so 3 could be a disaster. I wish I could just be satisfied with what I have got and the chances of another are so slim it is probably a pointless wish anyway. This probably doesn't make sense but this is the only place people will understand.


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## speeder

hi sleepy - just wanted to say hi - and that I understand  

I think for some the desire to have another never goes. do you think it's made worse by the fact it's been harder for us to have our families? I wonder if it might be with me. I should add I have only just had my second - so I really am bonkers! i just love my babies so much. 

my dh is adamant we are stopping at 2 - and our only option is to use donor sperm - so it's not even like nature can take its course! 

anyway - just wanted to say I understand how you feel - and we are so lucky to have our two babies  

speeder


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## sleepypenguin

Hi again it took me until day 10 both times to think of the next one (up until then I was saying never again   ).

x


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## strawbs

hi congratulations on your babies! i knew the second both mine were born i wanted another. i always wanted lots of children. i am desperate for another ds2 is now 21m. we have had 2 m/c since we started ttc no.3. i am not sure the longing ever goes away. i think with us the m/c may decide for us (i have had 4 now). i am not sure you ever feel that a baby is your last i know i haven't. treasure the time you have, it goes so quick, wish i had breastfed forever + bed shared etc! good luck with what you decide
strawbs x x


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## sleepypenguin

Thank you Strawbs I am sorry for your losses but you are right we have to treasure our time now with our babies.

x


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## Kuki2010

SP,
Look I am at 8th trial. And for second one.. I want 4 kids. I think about it all the time.. I dont' have the second yet.. But thoughts are always there.. 
It is normal.. Give yourself credit.. It is fine to feel like this..
But don't forget.. Time is precious.. We donnt' know what is around the corner.. Just enjoy your darlings.. The 3rd will come along.. It will. You just have to bleieve it and it will happen.. 
You have done very very well so far.. Why not 3rd won't happen. of course it will.. 
Love and big kiss to you four.. Kukixxxx


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## KG

SP - it wasn't long ago you were wondering if you would be lucky enough to get no2 and look at you now! Keep an open mind for now - you are young enough to have time on your side, you don't have to make any decisions now. Bagging up baby clothes is enough to set anyone off, whether they are thinking of another or not. There are plenty of families in our village with 4 children - I don't say that to upset anyone who hasn't got the number they wanted, but just that there's nothing wrong in wanting a bigger family.

Kx


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## jojo29

I am completely in the same boat as you, i have been hoping to find a buddy on here in the same boat as me as I have 2 gorgeous babies, one almost 3 and one nearly 1 and a half and I have wanted no 3 since ds was 1 however I have put off trying for my sanity as 2 so close has been hard work! I have always thought 3 was my magic number but as the others have said I wonder whether the longing will ever go away. Financially 3 is our limit and I know I wouldn't want anymore especially as all my 3 will be c sections medically I am sure they will say leave it several years and by then I will be too old anyway. So I am hoping to get trying in the next few months, I am on detox now to get myself in shape. If there is anyone out there thinking of trying for number 3 very soon would love to hear your thoughts/views/story 
Jojox


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## sleepypenguin

Hi Jojo

I feel like I have a constant battle raging in my head about another one, and trying to look at the bigger picture that it would mean 3 teenagers etc not just another baby. Have you got enough bedrooms? We only have 3 so they would have to share which feels a bit mean on the 2 we have now. My brain isn't working right now what gap have you got between yours now? Good luck ttc number 3 look forward to seeing how it goes.
x


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## CK78

Hi
Can i join you?  Similar situation here, but was preg with no3 earlier last year but miscarried and now considering trying naturally but the miscarriage has scared me silly about every part of having number 3 that i didnt even give a seconds thought before.  Dont think i will be able to rule out number 3 just yet but too scared to try just yet too! Sounds silly when its written down!

C
x


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## sleepypenguin

Hi CK can see how you would be scared to try again after a loss especially when you think you are through the danger period. You are very brave to go through more treatment, if we did try again it would definetly be aunatural only which makes all this worrying seem daft as it is so unlikely to happen again. Look forward to chatting.

x


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## jojo29

Hi, 
Sleepy penguin I do have a spare room, not 100% ideal as it is a loft conversion so would mean one of us would be on a different floor but to be honest I would be happy for them to share a room. I have a friend, well two in fact that have 3 and in both cases siblings share rooms and they love it. I have 16 months between mine, dd is almost 3and ds 17 months. If I am honest I would like.to leave it a few more months before trying so there would be a bigger gap between ds and no 3. Have you had any more thoughts? 
Hi ck, I totally understand how you feel I had a miscarriage too, feels like your heart has been broken and I often think of him/her but I had to continue, almost had to beat it if you understand that, I will win so to speak. I'm sure you will know when and what's right for you.
Jojox


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## CK78

OMG - i just wrote a massive post and pressed backspace and lost the lot as it went back a page! Grrrrr, i have probably saved you from a massive bore but i will be back!


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## sleepypenguin

Jojo you have made me feel better about shared bedrooms. Been to the Dr today as having bad AF can't face a coil etc as in my mind there won't be any surprises. Also discused it with DH and he has agreed to no more oral contraception so we shall see, guess we need to do the deed though to get anywhere   , definetly too early right now for another, another 20 month gap would be good personally don't want too bigger gap as don't want them too feel an 'add on' . Having just watched one born every minute I was waivering on ever having more   .

CK never boring   .

How is everyone?


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## jojo29

Hiya, how are you doing? I love Wednesday's as it means one born is on!!! Did you watch 15 and counting last night? They were amazing, what beautiful families. I had complete admiration for them. It also made dp think and this morning he said having 3 would be ok, yipee! Green light!! 
Sleepy penguin, I have a cap, it's really easy to pop in and out and I have to say it was a god send during the first year after ds when I really didn't want to get pregnant. It meant no hormones, no weight gain and more importantly no interferences in future fertility.
I'm thinking I am getting close to trying for no 3, I'm getting myself in shape and cut down on the wine too, vits will be next. 
How's everyone else doing?
I could never find baby talk boring, please repost ck
Jojox


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## The Hobnobbing Queen

Hello, 

Can i join you? I have 2.5 yr old twins (ivf/icsi) and am hoping for a 3rd through FET. I really understand where you are all coming from. Ever since the twins were babies, i've felt someone was missing, silly i know. 

I've had prostap injection last monday so just waiting for af

I watched a little bit of 15 and counting, i was mesmerised by how that huge family could manage. Wow, sometimes i struggle with two!

Jess


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## jojo29

HI jess,
Nice to hear from you. I too feel someone is missing. I look at our family pics and see someone missing, strange isn't it. I still pinch myself that I even have one let alone maybe one day soon, 3. 
You'll soon be on your way soon then, I am out of touch with treatment as it was many years since my ivf so not sure the protocol, how long roughly until your embie will be on board?
Jojox


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## CK78

Sorry, i intended to come back sooner than this !! 

Hi Jess, how exciting that you have started your FET journey! Hope AF doesnt keep you waiting!

Jojo - great you got green light!  Its exciting!  What vits are you taking?  I am taking Pregnacare and have done for about 3 months now and DH on Zita West multivits.  

Hows things with you sleepypenguin?

I have recorded OBEM, i loved it last time but i just havent had chance to watch it this time  DH is not all that keen!

I just had a shock coming on here and seeing my ticker showing 7 at the end of the line for my DS - he was 6 at the weekend and i cant believe it!  I feel like our baby i lost in April 2011 was the perfect time for no 3 but it wasnt to be but feel we cant hang around any more ( i was not ready before now, i know some people want to try again straight away after mc but i couldnt even contemplate it until after EDD and then i have just been scared silly since)!! we need to get on with trying but nearly all of me doesnt think there is a chance that it will happen naturally but feel i have to try anyway as there is no way i am going back to treatment.  ARGGHHH!!  
C x


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## Samb1256

Hi
I rarely post any more - I don't give myself the time to sit down and read through all the posts but when I do I always enjoy reading them all, although some break my heart.
I couldnt help reading this thread and not adding something... I too am dying to have a third. I have been blessed with 2 healthy children and I feel almost selfish for considering another one. I was lucky, so lucky that out of 3 IVFs, 2 were successful. I am 40 now and even though there is a possibility we could conceive naturally I doubt it very much. so my only hope is to go back down the IVF route. Can you imagine walking into the clinic and saying I want to go again? I find that difficult as some people struggle so hard to have one. I feel so guilty for feeling that 2 is not enough for me. 
On the issue of space, my two share a room now (it is the largest bedroom in the house) and if we did have a third I would put them in there too. Certainly for the first couple of years so they can keep each other company and soothe each other if one wakes up etc.  
I always wanted a big family, certainly 4 would have been a perfect number for me. I know at my age 4 ain't going to happen but oh for a third...   
My DH always says, "what is for you will not pass you by"
xxx


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## CK78

Hi Samb1256, i have feelings like you and think i am being greedy to want more when i have been so lucky to have my 2 very precious children and i am pushing my luck for a 3rd child - especially after my miscarriage i feel like i was being punished almost for not being happy with my lot if you know what i mean, i know its just my head playing games and unfortunatley many women have miscarriages.  If we had not had IVF i doubt we would feel like we are being selfish to desire a third child, just because we have struggled to get to where we are we almost feel we should be happy with what we have got and of course we are, i think we are just more aware of the plights of others still on their journeys to get where we are that it makes us a little guilty feeling, it shouldnt though!
Have you started your discussions about IVF again with the dr or are you just in the planning stage?  It is very exciting when you can actually get going isnt it.  How old are your 2?
I like your DH's saying, i am going to write that down...........
xx


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## jojo29

CK, so sorry about the MC, i had one too, it is aweful and you never forget, the pain heals but it's still sad all round. I have to admit that is on my mind, I am preparing for it, so if it doesnt happen it will be a bonus. Having been through it it changes your perception, every pregnancy I had after I never took for granted. I had lots of treatment, IVF with 0 fertilisation, countless IUIS and not a whiff of a pregnancy and I so we changed our lifestyles, didn't give up the booze but cut down, took some expensive vits, gave DP Zinc for sperm, little bit of exercise, bought OPKS and really went for it and against the odds, we got a natural BFP, despite being told my eggs were rubbish, i have high FSH and periods all over the place, DP has low motility, i am not saying it works for everyone but it has for us. So I think be positive and give it a shot, or two, or three   
Hi Samb,
I think we all feel a bit guilty for wanting more when some people cant have one, but we've all been there too and if you are like me, will never forget the heartache and pain of waiting for the two lines. I personally dont think your age is a factor for no 3 or 4 and who knows, you might even get twins!! Ha ha..
Lovely chatting to you ladies
jojox


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## Caddy

Hello everyone!  


So nice to see I am not alone in wanting another. My DH thinks I am mad, but like the comments above, if I had not had IF probs then I would have wanted a big family. I know I am so so lucky having two and treasure them so much, but would still love another one.


Have been trying for a while to no avail, which is no surprise bearing in mind it took 6 years to get to number 1.
Just had updated immune tests and the numbers are high so looks like chances of a natural conception are zilch (plus my age, one tube, severe endo blah blah blah). Does not stop the wanting unfortunately.


is anyone considering more IVF? Just don't know if I can face it cos would be my seventh go (groan!!!)


Love to all.
Caddy x


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## CK78

Hi Caddy
Nope, you are definitely not alone - there are a few of us gathering here hoping for number 3 now!  Its so nice to hear others feeling the same way.
I cant face treatment so we are trying naturally (maybe start next month) but i am worried that it wont work but by then we will be wanting it even more so will i be able to say right thats it or will i then feel like we should persue treatment again - would be my 7th go too, right now i just cant think of it but the desire is deep within us i think and you cant ignore it!
X


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## strawbs

This is a busy thread now which is nice!!

We are meant to be on a health kick, but can't seem to drop the booze, never drank really for 4 years but now I enjoy it.  need to shift a stone and then get cracking.

We are using the CBFM but cycles a bit haywire after my recent m/c.......try the CBFM ladies I cannot recommend it enough, I have had 3 pregnancies on it, admittedly I have m/c all 3 (due to my nasty pcos), but I did conceive precious DS2 immediately after one of those m/c.

We are aiming to try in March.

My BF is getting married in sept and I am chief bridesmaid but cant hold off trying until after that.

I am 35 next week!!

good luck ladies

x x x x x


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## CK78

Hi straws, I am trying to cut back and avoid alcohol and shift some weight!! But that's my life story!!  I have the CBFM upstairs in a cupboard - not even out the packet but I have ordered some sticks now so I can start using it next month! Might have to pick your brains!!


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## Caddy

HELLO.  


How is everyone today?
Me still pondering what to do next. Think DH would despair if I even mention more treatment.   Ho hum......
Is tricky as I turn 39 next month so time is not on my side.


Still at least the sun is shining here, but freezing.  


Love Caddy xx


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## CK78

How is everyone, beautiful day here today, feel more positive today! The sunshine always makes me feel better and also we decided we are definitely going to give it a go after lots of thinking and now we have decided to try I feel excited and not so scared!  We will try for as long as we feel we can but not going down the treatment route.  
Omg - never tried to conceive naturally before as dh was diagnosed with leukaemia before we started talking babies so we ha to go straight to using frozen sperm with ICSI so this is all new!!


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## sleepypenguin

Hi all

CK How exciting you are giving it a go, I know everyone is different but we conceived DD while giving it a go for a few months before going back to the clinic. I charted my cycles for a few months and DH thought Christmas had come several times a month when it was the right time   , against all the odds it worked so you never know. I know it is easy to say but waiting for AF each month is the hardest bit as it is so hard not to get your hopes up. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Caddy any more thoughts?

Strawbs Hows the weight loss going? I miss alcohol but save a fortune from not drinking   Happy Birthday for this week x

Hi Jojo, Samb, Hobnobbing Queen.

Feeling a bit more relaxed about number 3 now, DH is tentatively talking about number 3 but I think it's so he can get some hows your father   , definitely won't be trying until DD is 1.

x


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## speeder

Hi all

Not posted here for ages.  Bizarrely DH said to me the other day he wouldn't mind trying for a third but not for 5 years.  I pointed out I'd be 41 by then so that it might be a bit harder (we can only conceive by IUI - or IVF)!  (My DH doesn't think about things like that).  Even more bizarre is that I am more relaxed about stopping now at 2.  My body feels destroyed after DD2 (I'm only 6 weeks post partum but hey) and maybe it's time to get my body back to some kind of normality and move in - I don't exactly pop babies out. 

It's not like we can try naturally - DH is azoospermic - we could try forever but nothing changes that - and we would have to order new sperm and our DDs have the same donor father so it's all very complex.

Anyway - that's my update. 

I just wanted to say to CK good luck with giving it a go!  You just never know.

Caddy - have you broached it with DH at all? It was DH spending time with his friends who have 3 kids that seemed to change his views on it if that helps...

Hi to everyone else

speeder x


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## JLJ

Hi all,


I have been pointed in this direction to talk about ttc no 3. We have decided to try naturally before using our snow babies. I have been using opks and seems to be ovulating on day 21 of a 35 day cycle. I have never had regular cycles before so am being optimistic that we can conceive naturally! Would love some like minded people to chat to!


Jenny x


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## CK78

Welcome Jenny and hello speeder, how is everyone doing?
I was too late in my cycle to start with my CBFM this month so i am using normal ovulation predictor sticks this month but no smiley face yet!!
Its still early days for you speeder, how has your DD1 taken to her sister, i remember they were hard times here!
Sleepy penguin, thank for your words, glad it worked for you, i am trying not to get my hopes up as it is going to be a long shot but its so hard once you are trying to stop thinking about the end result! 
C
x


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## JLJ

Hi,
C can I ask you, once you get the smiley face as I am also using that brand do you continue to test or stop the first time you get a smiley face?
Also, does the smiley face necessarily mean you will ovualte? cld it just be that you have a surge but may not actually go on to ovulate? I am asking because I have never had regular cycles until now and 2 months running I have had the smiley face on day 21 and then af has arrived 14 days later. Should I be hopeful that I am indeed ovualting? I have had immune issues in the past too so need to be realistic about my chances of conceiving naturally.
Hello to everyone else too.
Jenny


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## CK78

Its all a bit new to me to be honest Jenny!  I used OP for my natural FET but i just had to tell the clinic that i had a smiley and they told me when to come in!
From what i can gather, when you have a smiley face it is when you have an LH surge which is up to 48 hours before you ovulate i think (someone please correct me if i am talking twaddle)! so that little smiley is the green light to get jiggy with DH!!  I think if you get a smiley you will ovulate but again, not 100% sure if you can surge but not ovulate?!?!?  So i would think yes you are ovulating but probably not on day 21 - maybe 22/23?
Do you get any physical feeling that you may be ovulating?  I feel a bit groggy on the day and slight ache one side.  It only lasts a few hours to a day.
As we dont have normal sperm volume we were told to only try every other day so hopefully if there is a 48 hour window this should still be ok!!  I hope! 
Will you need to take any drugs for immune issues then Jenny?
C
x


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## JLJ

It's all so confusing! I think maybe we didn't try enough after the smiley then! I don't think I get any physical feelings but to be honest I am terrible at imagining symptoms. Each month I have been convinced my boobs are tingling and that I might be pregnant! We are trying completely naturally at the moment so no plans to take any immune drugs. I took steroids and had IVIG (x3) with my ICSI attempt. If we go on to use our frozen embryos then I may get my immunes tested again but really praying we don't have to go down that route


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## Samb1256

Hi there
Lovely to see the posts coming in, and it is good to know we are not alone in our quest for a third!
I too have limited the alcohol to fri and sat only and max 2 glasses of wine. I have also started Patrick Holfords fertility multivitamin (no idea how effective it is but it is always good to be on some multivitamin); that with exercise I am hoping to lose those final few kilos from pregnancy no.2.  and get the body ready for potentially another pregnancy.
My DH and I finally had the dicussion on Saturday night as to going for number three or not and we have agreed to give it a go ourselves for 4 months and then see... the agonising 2ww will kill me again this time but it is worth it if it works. 
By the way, can someone remind me what CBFM is? and which ovulation kits do people recommend?
Hang in there girls - anyway statistically 4 is the new 3 so maybe we shouldnt stop at 3


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## sleepypenguin

Hi all 

I think CBFM is clear blue fertility monitor not used them myself, there are lots of charts you can download on line also some friends have used fertility apps on their phone if you have one of those new fandangled posh phones. What size wine glass are you using does one that holds a whole bottle count   ?  Good luck.

x


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## Samb1256

Thanks for that - I'll check out the clear blue fertility monitor. I'll have to see whether I can get it online as I don't live in the UK.

Quite small glasses of wine I must admit, although there are times and certain tough days when I would swap my little glass for a large flower vase!!!!


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## JLJ

When my DH and I had the discussion about trying for number 3, I had to promise that if it happened I wouldn't start going on about number 4! We haven't really put a time constraint on when to stop ttc naturally and go down the FET route. I was thinking maybe a year? Was thinking about doing acupuncture again, anyone got any thoughts on this? I'm using my blackberry to work out my most fertile days and the clear blue fertility sticks. Got to start testing on Thursday. DH has had a tummy bug yesterday, so hoping he's fully recovered and that I don't get it! I too find the 2ww long and emotional. The rest of my life seems to fly by but the 2ww goes on and on!!!
Good luck everyone x


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## jojo29

Hi everyone, 
I too am getting in shape, well trying to, no booze mon - thu, specialist multiple vit, protein rich diet, all ready for spring !! Going to Oz at Easter so we won't be trying til after then. My ideal time would be preggers in sept then by the time little one arrives dd will be starting school, ds in pre school so I can have a few hours just me and bubs and be off work to take and pick them up from school. I have it all planned out, of course we all know what happens to best laid plans !!! 
I used opks with both of mine, I waited for the smiley face then did the deed twice each day, surge day and day after. I dont think you can surge and not ovulate but not 100 % sure
Jojox


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## sleepypenguin

Hi ladies how are you all?

I am  feeling like a bad person SIL has just announced her 3rd pergnancy and I got that old winded feeling in my stomach, . I have no right to feel this anymore as I have 2 beautiful children. I think the main reason is her first child (10) was an accident and then her other 2 have come around with minimal effort. 
Wish the longing for another would go away.

x


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## Samb1256

Oh I so get you! We can't stop our feelings with a switch - there is a reason why you feel that way   
I think it is also important to acknowledge how you feel and don't deny yourself a little bit of 'me' time to indulge. Is the possibility of another out of the question for you?


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## sleepypenguin

Samb there are 2 hurdles first is we may not be lucky again so wanting another could be academic we definetly wouldn't have treatment again. The other minor problem is convincing DH   every now and think I am getting somewhere but then he changes his mind like last night when DS had an asthma attack and DD was howling, ( it didn't help that he was still hungover at 8pm from the day before   ).

xXX


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## Samb1256

Hi Sleepypenguin
I am sorry that you are in this difficult situation I hope your DS is ok after his asthma attack? I so feel for you, I am still (5 years now) welling up when I see someone pregnant or hear of a friend who has got pregnant even though I have 2 children. It is such a tricky situation and one that I don't think we'll ever truly find the answer for. I hate that my DH and my 'sex lives' have been so controlled about getting pregnant, staying pregnant etc etc for years now. I hate the fact that even now when we _dhd_ I am only thinking of pregnancy possibilities (when in reality it is such a ridiculously long shot) instead of enjoying the moments with him. But then I forget about everything when either DS or DD does something to make me laugh, or giggle or I get a cuddle for no reason. Then I remind myself that my family is complete and while I will never forget the want or desire of another child, for those little moments, I just count my blessings for what I do have.


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## sleepypenguin

Samb you have put it down so well I do know how lucky we are and are so thankfull for that. DS is fine thanks his chest has been a problem since he was 3 months old so a part of life for us taking DD to docs today as she is going the same way, may be a sign not to have anymore   .

Have a good day sun is out here   .

x


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## JLJ

Hi sleepy penguin,


I feel exactly the same way too and think I probably always will. I dont like how it makes me feel hearing that other people are pregnant let alone family members. I guess they are the scars we are left with despite having happy endings ourselves. Shame people only recognise how sad infertility is when they experience it themselves.


Take care and know you are not alone in your thoughts,


Jenny x


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## Samb1256

Hi
I don't know how to say this, and I am afraid if I utter the words it won't come out true. But my DH and I had decided we would start trying for No.3 by ourselves in April (when DD is one) even though we expected it to be a long shot. We would give it 4/5 months and then see whether we would go back down the IVF route. I am 40 and DH is 44 so we weren't expecting too much. 
My AF is due tomorrow but I have had AF  cramping for 6 days now, coming in waves, but some more viciously than others. Honestly I was a bit concerned - I didnt really know what to think - so I decided to check and I tested this morning and I got a BFP! It is a faint line but a line nonetheless. Incidentally I checked 3 hours later with the clearblue digital and not a BFN. But the line is a line isn't it?  
I guess I will have to check again tomorrow but if it is the case then it really is a miracle.


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## sleepypenguin

Ooo Samb how exciting will keep everything crossed for you. 

Had a nightmare with DS and DD the other day in a cafe with some other mums and toddlers, an older couple were having a go at us about having the children there really made me doubt if I could manage 3. We recently found DS has been poorly for some time and alot of his energy was going into being ill now he is being treated he is much more lively and I am having a reality check! 

Hope everyone else ok

x


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## Samb1256

Thanks Sleepypenguin I know it is a long shot but who says that miracles can only happen to others.

I ask myself that question, whether I could handle 3, all the time. particularly when I am carting around the double buggy with the two inside - and they ain't light! And I find that I don't always get to spend much time with DS when he gets home from pre-school and then his dad puts him to bed etc. I look after the baby. what would happen with 3?


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## CK78

Samb1256 congrats!!!!!!!  It's so early that you prob need a first morning wee to show the bfp so that's prob why it was neg later on.  I bet if you do another one first thing tomorrow morn it will be bfp again!!  Wooohooo, what a lovely surprise for you! Massive congratulations.  Sorry brief- on my phone!


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## Samb1256

thanks ck78. I definitely have to check again tomorrow morning. 

To be honest I am terrified. I have never had a natural BFP (or a BFP from natural conception if you know what I mean). I also know of the risks, my age, % of miscarriages etc. I had an early miscarriage before DD so I am so scared of getting my hopes up. 
roll on tomorrow morning ..........


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## Samb1256

Ok did another Hpt. And I am definitely pregnant. 

wow I can't even take it in myself. 

I am now debating whether to ring my doc and ask her whether I should be on pessaries or something to keep the pregnancy going. I have never fallen pregnant naturally before so I am at a complete loss. I am also terrified it will be taken away as soon as it has been given.  My age and various percentage chances keep filling my head with doubts. And before I always knew the quality (at least relatively) of each of the embryos and this time I have absolutely no idea.      
It feels so weird 
But an aside from all that - isn't it incredible that it can happen when the docs have said before that our chances were slim to none and the only way forward was by IVF. Well boohoo to them!


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## sleepypenguin

Conratulations thats fantastic news I wouldn't have thought the Dr would give you pessaries etc but wouldn't hurt to check. I found our natural surprise pg a bit strange from the care side when you are used to being looked after by your clinic previously you are left to it with a natural pg. Enjoy the morning sickness   .

xxx


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## CK78

Wow, fantastic news congratulations on being PREGNANT samb1256!!!!!!!!!!


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## Samb1256

cheers guys just getting my head around it. 

never actually wished to be sick before but for me morning sickness is the best sign that I am still pregnant and its going to stay


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## jojo29

Congrats. Wishing you a happy, healthy 9 months
Hope I'm not too far behind you
Jojox


----------



## CK78

How are you feeling samb1256?  Is it sinking in!?  Did you phone the dr about pessaries?  
How is everyone else doing?
x


----------



## Samb1256

Thanks CK

I didnt ask for pessaries as doc is away but tentatively booked appointment for 16 march. I am now thinking of deferring it until the following week as I may not be far enough gone to see anything. I'll only be 6 weeks by then. (I hope). 
I keep peeing on sticks. Really girls it is costing me a fortune. I panicked this morning as the line wasn't any stronger as it should be but I need to let go and just relax a little. I feel I don't deserve for it to be so easy (as in getting pregnant) I feel I am cheating - does that make sense to anyone?  Why can I not be excited like a normal person who gets pregnant naturally?


----------



## JLJ

Hi everyone,

Congratulations Samb1256, that is great news! I felt exactly the same when I was pregnant with my DS, as though I didn't really 'deserve' to be pregnant as I hadn't had to go through all the trauma of IVF/ICSI again. It will take a while to sink in I'm sure. I didn't have any progesterone pessaries with my natural pregnancy even though I had been on gestone injections for my DD. I hope you have a very relaxing and happy 8 months.
I  have been reluctant to post here for fear of jinxing myself but I have just got a BFP too.  Can't believe it x


----------



## sleepypenguin

JLJ Wow congrats to you  how far along are you? Hope pg is treating you and you have a happy healthy pregnancy x


----------



## Samb1256

oh wow congratulations JLJ!!! That is wonderful news!!!! 
When did you find out? were you ttc for long? Sorry for the questions..   I am marveled by the number of women who conceive naturally after IVF/infertility problems. It is astounding! If all goes well our due date will be around 8 November. How about you?

I have stopped testing because it was driving me nuts. I am just waiting for the morning sickness. praying for it actually. 

When did you have your first scan with your DS and Sleepypenguin? It is odd not being 'minded' by the fertility clinic. Hoping to have an early scan at 7 weeks if I make it that far.


----------



## Samb1256

sorry sleeppypenguin I mean first scan for your dd (your natural pregnancy)


----------



## sleepypenguin

Samb I had a scan around 9 weeks because I had some pain and bleeding. When I initially phoned the docs and explained the situation of our BFP they said I may have an early scan for dating but because I had used a clear blue digital they said they are so accurate for dates there was no need to scan.


----------



## JLJ

Hi,
I think I am just over 6 weeks. I tested a strong positive 2 weeks ago last Monday. I am very symptomatic too, struggling with all day nausea and extreme tiredness. Difficult to cope with at times when you have a 3 year old and 2 year old at home! I won't be getting an early scan as am considered a 'normal' pregnancy now and so for the first time I will have to wait until 12 weeks! I was using ovualtion sticks and had been doing that for 3 months when I conceived. It's really strange because I never use to ovulate and so had very long cycles, however since stopping breastfeeding my ds at 13 months my periods returned and were regular. I was secretly hoping this meant I was finally ovulating and it would appear that was the case! It doesn't feel real to be honest and then at times I am feeling panicked about how I will cope with 3 such young children.
All being well I think my due date is 26th October but will get an official date when I have my dating scan around 12 weeks.


----------



## jojo29

Jlj huge congratulations. That's two bfps on here now, hope I'm lucky no 3!!!
It's only natural to have the occasional wobble about having three, but I have heard going from one to two is much harder than two to three.
Jojox


----------



## CK78

Morning all, congrats JLJ, what fantastic news! This thread is turning out to be very lucky!  I have a confession to make too!! I got a BFP!  I have been in denial for a few weeks as we just cant believe it has happened and i still am struggling to get my head around it.  I cant help thinking it will end the same as last time :-( I have only just told a couple of people in the 'real world' as i really cant believe it!  We were told it was worth us having a go but i really didnt think it would happen!! I am just over 7 weeks and counting down until scan day! It was weird as i didnt really know what to do this time as all the other times i have phoned the clinic and got an early scan date and thats how it all begins but none of that this time!  Seeing the midwife next week so it may start sinking in then!


----------



## sleepypenguin

OMG CK thats fantastic news.

Who would have thought when you were all told IF treatment was your only hope you would be here years later. So pleased for you all.

SP
xx


----------



## Samb1256

OMG!!! what the? Congratulations CK I am so happy for you!!! What a unusual thread. Lets hope it continues to bring us luck!

Thanks Sleepypenguin and JLJ for the information on scans. I have decided to go ahead with my doc appointment on 16 March - it will be at 8am and I will have returned from travelling with work the night before and won't have seen my two babies in 5days! It is going to be hard to leave the house at 7.30am although I think I will bring my DD with me.

Hey both of you (CK And JLJ) knew you were pregnant and _were_ pregnant before me and neither of you said!!! Why didn't you say earlier?!!! It is funny I thought that if I _didnt_ post to say I was pregnant I would jinx it and it wouldnt be true. I really am happy for us all! I felt the same CK with not knowing what to do this time after being guided by the clinic with each of the IVF pregnancies. That is why I decided to go ahead and have the scan (albeit quite early). but at least I will know if all is ok.

Work is very busy for me and I have never been so slow considering I have a crazy week next week and everything I am supposed to be doing is leading up to it.... but I am finding it hard to concentrate. Hence I pulled away from FF and have decided to try (  ) not to think about the pregnancy and whether or not I am feeling sick etc. I obsessed way too much on the sticks, the line or isn't scenario, so I am now putting it in the hands of the Gods, and what will be will be. I know that might sound a little extreme or even pathetic but I have to prioritise work for now.

I have a lovely fluffy feeling inside - wow 3 pregnancies in the space of a couple of weeks
xxx

Sam


----------



## CK78

It is crazy isn't it!?!?  I didn't say anything as I truly couldn't even process it in my own mind - i know it sounds silly but with all my other pregnancies i have had weeks of building up to it with drugs and scan etc and this time i was sooooo sure it was not going to happen i just couldn't and am still struggling to believe its true!  I did feel bad for not telling you all but i just couldn't tell a single soul - i hardly dare talk to DH about it either as i am just worried all our hopes and dreams will be dashed again.  My head is a strange place!!  
I am really looking forward to continuing this journey with you all though, how funny we are all so close in dates too!  You never know we may pick up some more from this thread along the way!! Lets hope so.


----------



## Samb1256

Hey CK 
don't feel bad at all for not mentioning it - it is a very personal thing. I am with you on the lack of build-up. This 'experience' has never happened to me before. 

Looking forward to our journeys - may they all make the 9 months

xxx
Sam


----------



## JLJ

Hi,
I can't believe this! 3 BFP's. I don't know why I didn't say sooner but only my dh and me know so I am well practiced in not saying anything!!! Huge congratulations CK, I hope it is a happy and uneventful 8 months for us all. It will be nice to have some pregnancy buddies!! Lets hope the lucky streak continues and we get a few more BFP's here soon xxx
This is the first time I will ever have had to wait for a 12 week scan. It's quite strange but I am trying not to over obssess about everything and am sure my scan will be here soon enough. Its funny how having 2 young children can keep your mind off most things!
Jenny x x


----------



## jojo29

Great News JLJ, congrats
I am keeping in with this thread for good luck when the time comes
jojox


----------



## CK78

Hey everyone, how are you all doing?

Fellow shock BFP are you having side effects?  I am by no means complaining but I am constantly drained of energy and food is not my friend!! If I eat, I feel sick! If I don't eat, I feel even more sick!!  Anyone seeing midwife soon? I am having my booking in app this week coming and will be about 8.5wks. Think it may sink in a teenie bit then!


----------



## Samb1256

hey BFPs

I am only barely feeling nausea if that makes sense. I am a bit stressed as have to leave for work tomorrow and deliver a big programme for a week. I don;t know if I am nauseous because of that or if I have morning sickness. And I will be away for my two little ones which will be tough. My DH said I should have a glass of wine or a strong coffee and he said then I'll know.     I kinda get his logic but am not going to tempt fate.

Tiredness definitely though! wow it never ceases to amaze me how shattered I can feel so early in the day when I am pregnant!!!!

I am only 5 weeks and 4 days so symptoms may not necessarily start yet. How are you coping with looking after your two?
I don't see a midwife ( I live in Belgium) I just see a ob/gyn every month and normally only three scans in total (12 - 20 - 34 weeks I think) I will see my gyne next Friday morning though and I will know then if I have a little fighter or not. 

jojo - come on, make this a foursome!!!!    

Sleepypenguin - are you tempted?


----------



## JLJ

Hi everyone,

I have not been having a very easy time of it! I had some pain a couple of weeks ago and then this week have started spotting. At the same time as I got the spotting I felt as though my pregnancy symptoms disappeared. I had been feeling very sick and very tired but the sickness has died down and I am no longer so tired. I tried to get an early scan in view of all this but was turned down, I have to wait until 12 weeks. Sick with worry now   
Hope it is going a bit better for everyone else!
Jenny xx


----------



## Samb1256

Oh JLJ I really hope it is still positive for you!     You never know - how many weeks are you now? 8? 

I have also had a very mixed week. I spent the week in Germany, working, got home at midnight. Had my apt with my gyn at 8 this morning. I think I am 6 weeks +1 or 2 days (max.) As soon as she heard that that is how far I was she did feel that we wouldnt see anything but would have a look anyway. So there is a sac. But we couldnt see anything else. Nada, nothing. She sent me off for a blood test today and again on Monday and she will let me know if the levels are rising sufficiently to be a viable pregnancy. I have to endure another heartwrenching weekend of not knowing. The worst part is I dont feel sick yet - and that scares me. I did google a little on what is possibly visible at 6 weeks and it varies hugely so no more googling for me this weekend. 

I know my conception date and the only positive reason that we couldnt see anything could be a late implanter, making me just 6 weeks and if that is the case what she saw is bang on correct for the age.  I didnt come away from her feeling all that positive though. That said it is a very emotional day here in Brussels - we have a national day of mourning for the 22 children and 6 adults who died in the bus crash in Switzerland so I think she was less upbeat anyway than she normally is so I cant take her reaction as a positive or a negative one.
God this is very hard isn't it.

JLJ - hang in there honey. fat lady singing and not being over yet springs to mind


----------



## JLJ

Hi Samb,
Yes I think I'm 8 weeks today.
Poor you, the waiting and not knowing is agonising isn't it? Not everyone has pregnancy symptoms you know. Also when I was pregnant with my ds, I didn't realise until I was around 7 weeks so had no symptoms at all before then. I know how hard it is to stay positive!!
I had regular bloods to test my HCG levels when I was pregnant with my dd (icsi) and the level did not rise as they would expect. They warned me it may not be a viable pregnancy and I was terrified, yet on the early scan there was a beautiful heartbeat. What I am trying to say is your bloods may not tell the whole story.
I really feel for all those families who have lost a child in that crash, I can't begin to imagine how you live with that pain. I saw in the nationals today that one of the children was British.
Well I am thinking of you, keep in touch and hopefully we will both have better news soon xx


----------



## JLJ

Forgot CK to ask how your booking apppointment went this week? When is your first scan? x


----------



## Samb1256

Hi JLJ
Thank you for the support - it is reassuring to hear that my lack of symptoms may not be too concerning. Both DH and I are sick this weekend - we think a bug but neither of us have vomited yet. I can't tell whether it is pregnancy related or not. from my point of view at least.    the kids are fine thankfully.  I also have a dreadful cough and sore throat - I think the come down after the crazy couple of weeks of work have knackered my body. It is hard to tell what I am feeling and whether any of it can be contributed to a baby growing or not. I can't guess any more I am just chilling this weekend and trying not to think about it. 

Hope you and CK are feeling ok - have a lovely sunday

xxx
Sam


----------



## Samb1256

I hate to put a dampner on everyone today but this pregnancy won't make it.
My hcg levels went from 327 on Fri to 293 on Monday. I should expect to miscarry over the next few days.

I am so devastated and yet we never got our hopes up too high. I guess nothing prepares you for that phonecall.  I knew the odds were really stacked against us but to have them crash down on you is hard to take. 

I am at a bit of a loss of what to do. My DH leaves tomorrow for 4 days for work and I am alone with the two kids. They provide great comfort but it is going to be hard for me to keep a happy and brave face in front of them. 

I have to remember that on a positive note, we did actually do it on our own. We just weren't able to keep it. My doc said that hey you can get pregnant so its great and to try again after the next AF. The stupid thing is, after the last three weeks (which incidentally felt like three months) I don't know how much more emotion I can handle. It has been incredibly stressful and emotional. I don't know if I could do that every single month. 

Sorry I am rambling. 

The very best of luck and heartfelt hugs to CK and JLJ I truly hope your pregnancies are strong and you'll see beautiful babies at the end of it.

xxx

Sam


----------



## CK78

Sam     
Truely gutted to hear your news. So sorry that it has ended that way,  I understand how you feel, it is devastating and such an emotional thing to deal with.  Its really early days to think about trying again, its great the dr said there is no reason not to try after next AF but dont feel you have to, have another go when/if you feel ready.  It took me nearly a year to get over my miscarriage, but then some people are ready to try immediately, you have to do what feels right for you.  Have you got any support in family while DH is away?  It is hard to be happy but give those little ones a big cuddle and they will help you get over your sadness as they are so amazing.
Thinking of you. xx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Samb   So sorry to hear your news, be kind to yourself.

xXx


----------



## Samb1256

Thanks girls for the words of support.

I am alone this week - as I am in Brussels my family are not remotely near.    So this week will be difficult. 

I am exhausted from the emotion of it all. I will travel home next week for a meeting with work and will bring the two with me. So my parents will be pleased and I secretly will have some comfort. I only told one of my sisters so I could spare everyone else any potential false hope. I might tell my Mum next week if and when it is all over.  

Lots of hugs to all of you - thank you for sharing over the past couple of months.

xxx

Sarah


----------



## JLJ

Hi Samb,
I am so sorry. I am thinking of you and your family at this very sad time. Lots of   are coming your way. Thank you for being so brave and sharing with us. Keep in touch,
Jenny xx


----------



## strawbs

Samb...sorry to hear your news, m/c is so hard and so very cruel.  Time does heal and you will feel strong and ready to try again.  I have been there and got the t-shirt a few times.  Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Lucky thread continues..........BFP for me, very very very early days and with my history a very long way to go.  Ben testing positive since 10dpo.  I am 4.2wks so really is just the very beginning.  Strating to feel sick though.  I have emailed my consul for an early scan.  I am already on meds for m/c so actually feeling very laissez-faire this time.  I can't change to outcome and no amount of stressing and blood monitoring has stopped a m/c.  I just hope this is the one, a 3rd m/c in 6months would be just a bit too cruel.....so here we go ladies the long wai for the scan

strawbs x x x


----------



## CK78

Morning all
Strawbs,       Congratulations, really hoping you have a sticky one in there. xx

Samb/sarah,  How are you doing?  Thinking of you and hoping you are ok and coping ok with whats going on while looking after your children and DH away, so hard for you.    

JLJ, How are you?  Feeling ok?  My booking appointment went fine thanks, i was dreading it really but it was ok, she talked to me about my miscarraige etc which i was not sure i wanted to do?!>!?  I have my scan date through, its in 2 weeks time so not too long now.  Have you got yours through yet?

Sleepypenguin, hows things with you?

Back to work for me, the sun is shining and i would much rather be out enjoying it!!
C
xx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi all

Samb & Sarah how are you both? 

Strawbs Wow another BFP on here, considering all of our backgrounds thats amazing   for you over the coming days, weeks, months

CK back in the system then, must be exciting going back to the m/w

JLJ how are you? Hope PG is treating you well whens your scan?

I am still in a muddle in my head about another baby. I think the hormones have settled down and I haven't got the desperate longing to have another baby right now. DD went back to newborn feeding patterns over night for a while so I was shattered (she won't take a bottle so it is breastfeeds only   ) but we are coming out of that now and enjoing a bit more sleep. DH is away alot with work at the moment and when he is home we aren't getting on great, also I worry about having how having another child will take my time away from DD and DS. So as I said to start with in a muddle. I am going to enjoy my 2 miracles for now and have a rethink in a few months time, if we have another I would like a similar gap to the other 2 . Sorry for rambling, nice to get it all out.

Keep posting everyone, 

xXx


----------



## Caddy

Just a quick post to say huge congrats to all the BFPs on here. spinQuite remarkable. I want to be on here just in case any luck rubs off!!!!!!!  


So sorry to Sarah. I have been through it myself and it is heartbreaking. Do take care of yourself.  


Just cannot believe all the goings on since my post weeks ago.  


Love to all.
Caddy xxx


----------



## Samb1256

Hi all

Congratulations Strawbs!!! That is wonderful news. Here's hoping to a long happy pregnancy! 

JLJ and CK - how are you girls doing? I am always thinking of you. xxx

I haven't been on much - but I am fine. The week of the miscarriage was tough from a physical point of view and emotionally tough for at least another week    I was a bit cruel to my body and ate bad food, drank wine and didnt go to the gym. Why I thought punishing my body would make me feel better I don't know...Anyway after spending the last two days eating chocolate    I have finally decided, ok, back to looking after myself.

I am astounded at how much the m/c has brought up so many feelings and emotions of what I want or wish, and thoughts about the future with only two etc. I can't believe the mix of feelings I have. I had never ever in my wildest dreams imagined that I would only want two children, and yet I am so scared that even if I do get pregnant again that something will be wrong with the baby. And then that brings up questions of whether I am prepared to cope with that if it happened.  I am also equally astounded at the number of people (I have told very very few) have said that I should stop trying and just accept my lot.  Instead of offering support 3 friends have said well you are 40, you have two children, you should quit it. That really doesn't make me feel any better at all.

Anyway we are not trying for the moment. We are enjoying the wonderful moments that we have with our little ones and trying not to think too hard about the future.

Belated happy Easter everyone xxxxx

S x


----------



## JLJ

Hi everyone,
Sorry I haven't been on for a while, I have my first scan tomorrow afternoon so   all is well. I have continued to have symptoms despite the pain and bleeding so really hoping all is well.
Sending lots of love and luck to everyone and I will let you know how I get on tomorrow
Jenny x


----------



## jojo29

the luck continues, i tested this morning as i was a week late and guess what BFP. 5 weeks so very early days. i didnt test earlier as only had bms once on day 11 and ovulated on day 14!! thought it must be something else but today i resisted and low and behold two lines.
hope this thread stays lucky for others
jojox


----------



## CK78

Hey jenny/JLJ - been thinking of you today,  how did you get on with your scan?    Got mine in the morning   .

Wow jojo29 - congratulations!  It seems the luck has rubbed off!!! What an amazing thread this is becoming!

Caddy - I think you should definitley stick around!   

Samb - lovely to hear from you, sorry to hear you had such a tough time and the things your friends have been saying, sometimes i think people just dont know what to say especially if they have not experienced any fertility problems. Take it with a pinch of salt - i know its hard.  Only you and DH can make a decision about your future and it does not matter what anyone else thinks is the right thing.  

Sleepypenguin - glad you are getting more sleep - you can definitley think more straight when you are not tired. 

How is everyone else?


----------



## jojo29

How was the scans girls, sending you lots of       
jojox


----------



## strawbs

wow how unbelievable is this!!  Congratulations JOJO

Samb    

strawbs xx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Wow Jojo congratulations   for you.

It still seem amazing for so many bfp's .

Any news on the scans hope all ok.

x


----------



## CK78

Just a quick one as on my phone - scan was fab, was sooooooo scared but it was all good and they measured baby 6 days older so my edd has changed to 16th oct! Wooohooooo!!!!
Had the nuchal measurement fine and blood taken so now I have a few more days worry waiting to hear the results.  
Hope yours was good too Jenny  

Xx


----------



## strawbs

Hi ladies...

Great news on scan CK, always lovely to get pushed forward a bit too!!

AFM, we have a HB!!  Am 6.2 so meant I ov 2 days later than I thought, but all good so far.  A looong way to go, but a massive hurdle overcome for us, so relief for now!!  It also meant I tested positive at 8dpo, not 10 dpo      

strawbs x x x x


----------



## CK78

Wooohooo strawbs!!! Didn't realise you had a scan today too!!! Great news to see a heartbeat! When is EDD then?


----------



## jojo29

great news re scans ladies. i have my booking appointment tom, wont get a scan tho til 12 weeks as all normal thus far. although no symptoms yet which is unusual as i always did with other two and i am having hot flushes which is odd so i am wondering if all will be ok with thispregnancy. i guess it's waiting game now
jojo


----------



## Caddy

Wow. Congrats to JoJo. Wonderful news.
How amazing is this thread!!!


I get the feeling that I may be the one to buck the trend though bearing in mind my age and history and the fact that I have been ttc forever!!  


Oh well. Still amazing and so thrilled for you all.    


Love Caddy xxx


----------



## CK78

how is everyone?  It freeeeezzzzzing here!!  I am trying to muster the enthusiasm to finish tidying so i can go to bed!  DH is working late and the children are still not sound asleep but i wish i was!  I am starting to have a little more energy but still exhausted most of the time!

Jojo - how did your booking app go?

Caddy -  Sending some       !

I 'should' have had a phone call by today if my nuchal scan was high risk so i am hoping its good news and not an error that they have not phoned already!  i should get a letter in the next week saying high or low.  Got a consultant appointment next week re: delivery and then midwife the week after!  I still find it hard to actually believe its happening.  DH, DD and DS are telling everyone that stands still long enough but i have only told close friends - i am still worried that things are not going to work out - i think my miscarriage has scarred me!?!  i am worried but i hope it eases as i want to enjoy being pregnant for the last time! 

Right, the washing up will wait no more!
C
XX


----------



## JLJ

Hi all,
This must be some kind of record for the number of bfp's!! Congratulations jojo and strawbs.
We had our 12 week scan last week and all went very well. Really looking forward to the 16 week midwife appointment now so that we can hear the heartbeat for the first time, I don't think there is a nicer sound in the world. Thanks for all the positive vibes which helped me get through those rocky few weeks of pain and bleeding, seems the baby was just getting comfy - feel very lucky.
My secret is well and truly out as I can't hide my bump anymore, can't believe how big I have got so early on!
Hope everyone is ok,
Jenny


----------



## jojo29

Evening ladies,
Good to hear all the scan news and growing bumps. Been on a bit of a roller coaster, had strong stabbing pain so took myself off to EPU, hcg was very high 12537 at 6 weeks but scan just showed black blob, no heartbeat as yet have to go back in a week.
Playing the waiting game is tough
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi Jojo.


Hope all is ok with you. Tis such a worrying time in those early days, but the fact your HCG is so high would suggest good things. Sending you a big   .


Hello to everyone. Hope the ttcs all coming along nicely  .


Love Caddy xx


----------



## CK78

Jenny - so pleased to hear your scan went well.  Its a relief isnt it!  I have been a bit naughty and been using my doppler to hear the heartbeat since 11 weeks!!  I bought it in my first pregnancy as i had a big bleed and was totally petrified so i thought i would give it a go even though it was early and after a lotttttt of gel and pushing around i found it and now if i am feeling wobbly i go and have a listen!!  I have got my 16 week midwife app next week and it will be nice to hear it 'officially'!!  I cannot hide my bump either - everything is uncomfortable and i hate all my maternity clothes that i kept from before but feel a bit bad buying much new as this is definitely the last time!  Have you found any nice maternity stuff?

Jojo - a few more days of waiting and i am sure you will have good news, that HCG is positive and it is early at 6 weeks to see much.  Let us know how you get on.      

Hi Caddy, strawbs, sleepypenguin, samb!

I am off to see the consultant now - delivery talk i think!  Wow - this is really happening!

C
x


----------



## jojo29

Hi there,
Wow ck78 you can hear babies heartbeat..I never had a Doppler, sounds like a good investment though. 
I always see nice maternity stuff when I am not pregnant but none when I am! 

I am hanging on here, going stir crazy waiting for thurs when I will find out what's what.

How's everyone else? Gone a bit quiet on here of late
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

Still cannot believe this thread!


Good luck with scan jojo, the wait is torture


Afm had an emergency scan due to a panic over immune results, baby was measuring back to my original dates + HB was great.


I will buy new maternity stuff as used all my stuff for 2 pg. plus my 2 were spring babies. apparently red herring + asos good. am already huge caused by lack of stomach muscles, 2 previous huge babies + the meds am on inc steroids now.


I would be a nightmare with a doppler!


Strawbs x x


----------



## Samb1256

Wow I don't know where to start!!!

Congratulations JoJo!!!! you see I told you if you hung around here long enough the luck would rub off!!! Sorry to hear you have had worries though. that beta level sounds very positive and as I was told 6 weeks is too early to see much - don't believe anyone that says you should see something. 
Congratulations Jenny on your 12 week scan - that's really the benchmark that we all aim for at the beginning. 

CK - a doppler? I would be like Strawbs I would never have it off my tummy!    

It is great to hear from everyone and I am going to keep popping in to see how everyone is doing. We have agreed to give it another go but are trying to focus less on the 'ovulation times' and more on the every second day we'll go to bed early      We'll see what happens...
Kisses to all  xxxxxxx

Samb


----------



## JLJ

Hi all,
Samb that is really good news that you have made the decision to start trying again in a relaxed fashion! Lots of luck coming your way   
CK, I don't feel like I have any nice maternity stuff at all. I have always tried not to buy much, thinking that you only wear it for such short time its a bit of a waste of money! I am torn between buying some nice bits as this is definetly the last time I will be wearing maternity stuff (!!) or making do. By the time I get to the end of my pregnancies I am always sick of the sight of my maternity clothes! We hardly have any choice over here so I will have to buy online, anyone got any recommendations? At the moment I am living in leggings as they are the most comfortable.
I am slightly envious of the doppler as I am desperate to hear my baby's heartbeat but at the same time know I would be neurotic about it!!!
Keep in touch everyone,
Jenny x


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi everyone

Been away for a couple of weeks so trying to catch up.

I loved wearing maternity clothes and had so many, I recently sold most on ebay and made £150 would recommend looking on there. I liked Red Herring but also found one of the best dresses I had last summer was a standard jersey dress from Sainsbury's only cost £10 but fitted right to the end and got loads of compliments.

JLJ, Strawbs, CK, Lovely to hear the pregnancies are progressing

Jojo   things keep progressing for you. 

Samb enjoy 'giving it a go'   really hope it works out for you. 

Caddy how are you.

DH has now said he wouldn't stop me having another if it was what I wanted. Not convinced our marriage could cope right now though but I feel happier knowing there is still hope for the future definitely won't be trying for a few more months tho.

Love to all

x


----------



## CK78

Morning

I do have to be strict with myself and only use my doppler occasionally!  Maybe once a week!  Or in those moments that i think am i REALLY pregnant!!  I am sometimes too scared to use it though incase i cant find the heartbeat!  

I have ordered a dress from Isabella Oliver maternity as it had 47% off and i have two weddings to go to this summer so i thought i could justify it!  There is still 35% off today but its the last day of the offer.  Enter code SPREE35.  I have heard that their stuff gets a good amount back if you wanted to sell it on ebay after so i am hoping thats the case!

Sleepypenguin, great that DH is on board and when you are ready you can go for it!   

Jojo - good luck today - thinking of you.   

Samb - thats exciting and i am glad you are feeling ready to give it a try on a relaxed basis!   

Strawbs, glad your scan was good and baby is growing well.

I am only 15 weeks and already cant wear any of my 'old' trousers unless i use one of those belly belt button extender things but they are uncomfy - i dont remember how soon i had to wear maternity on my others but it seems quite early now - i think i am going to be mahooooosive!!  Already worrying about how big i will be but it isnt stopping me eating!!  Just had a bacon and avacado baguette!! Yum yum - that was supposed to be my lunch but i couldnt wait!!  Are you other preg ladies hungry all the time!?  If i dont eat often i feel sick, it is easing from what it was like but still dont feel great.  We are moving in 3 weeks so i am hoping it gets better soon as i have sooooo much packing and sorting to do its crazy!


----------



## jojo29

Ck78, you sound like you're blooming!
What a roller coaster for me, I've been in for a scan, external showed nothing so I thought that's that then internal showed baby and heartbeat but a week too small with my dates and out of sink with hcg levels. So I have to wait now to see if bub catches up, they won't see me again in epu I have to wait for 12 week scan.
Jojox


----------



## sleepypenguin

Oh Jojo what a rollercoaster really hope the next 6 weeks are kind to you and your little miracle.

x


----------



## strawbs

Jo....you must be anxious.  However, are you totally sure of your dates?

I think the EPU would see you if you had any bleeding or pain, that is their referral criteria.  I have not been under EPU this time as I felt last time after my bloods looked ok (according to them, when I knew they were not great), they discharged me.  I actually self referred to a different epu walk in clinic and got my scan, took a whole morning but gave me answers.

I have just been under my m/c consul and paying through the nose for private scans (no hcg monitoring this time, just immunes)

good luck

H+M sell maternity clothes on line btw, although I need to try their clothes on.  I think next have on line stuff too.

strawbs x x x


----------



## jojo29

Strawbs, I def know I ovulated on cd14 or cd15 as I used an opk and surged on cd 13. I guess it could have taken its time implanting ?!the word small has never featured in any of my pregnancies....I have whoppers

Jojox


----------



## strawbs

good luck


I have whoppers too! hoping for under 10lb still!


X


----------



## CK78

jojo - what an emotional time you are having. I hope that your little one is just taking its time!  They can only go on averages so try not to worry too much - i know they have my date wrong as i know my LMP and ovulation date but they have to date me on the the 50th centile for the baby !?!?
I am very excited to report i have a lovely package from isabella oliver - i have not even opened the dresses up yet but the packaging is exciting enough!! I have to go and collect my children now so i dont have time to get them out but i hope they are as lovely as the bag they have arrived in!! How sad i know - its hormones!!  I am going to have a look at H&M later thanks strawbs for reminding me, we dont have a store locally so i will have to make do with online.  Got a nice pair of linen trousers from next but i dont think they will last till the end but nice for a while. 
Right, of to get my little ones from nanas now as i have been working today.  'Speak' soon. xx


----------



## jojo29

Err, strawbs, don't they get bigger the more you have....


----------



## strawbs

jo my 2nd was 0.5oz smaller......reckon he had a wee on the way out!!  He was predicted to be between 10-11lb so something with a 9 in front was a bit of a relief!  Having said that I really enjoyed my labour with him, had to insist on induction at 5days over as they wanted to let me go 12-13 days over!!     .  Probably see you in the 10lb club this time!!

strawbs x x


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone!  


Fingers crossed for you JoJo. Do hope all is ok.   


Lovely to hear you are all blooming.  
Makes my babies look tiny at 6lb 14 and 8lb 15.  


Am taking humira to help ttc naturally to calm down my immunes and just heard my levels have risen after the first course. Arghh......... More like a step backwards for me at the mo. Still doing my best at getting as much extra curricular activity in as poss, although no mean feat after all these years plus two children. I don't know....  


Love to all.
Caddy x


----------



## JLJ

Hi all,
I am having a real wobbly moment today. I am now feeling much better, sickenss and tiredness both eased off. However as it is too early to feel the baby move I am panicking something is wrong. You would think 3rd time round that I could relax but I can't. My dd who is 4 stroked my tummy this morning and said 'I love you baby, we can't wait to meet you' soooo cute but it makes me terrified that if something goes wrong how will I tell her?!!! 
I can't even bring myself to buy any maternity wear. My next midwife appointment is 11th May when hopefully I will finally hear the heartbeat. Seems a lifetime away. So, what do I do in the mean time? Buy a doppler? Will that make me even worse?
Writing it down I feel a bit silly now as I am basing this on nothing. Although my mum very helpfully said to me this morning, you're not looking as pregnant today! Great, thanks!
I don't know if it is having years of fertility treatment or just my personality but wish I could relax. I know some people who it would never even occur to that something might be wrong, if only I was one of those!!!
Hope everyone else is ok?
Jenny


----------



## Samb1256

Jenny - Don't despair honey I know exactly how you feel and reading your post reminded me of how I felt with both my pregnancies. I don't think anyything you do will stop you feeling that way. I think some of us are just geared to be worriers and that is all. The important thing to remember is that there is absolutely no reason that there could be anything wrong. Is there any way you can bring forward your midwife appointment? just for reassurance?

Caddy - I hope your immune issues settle down and maybe you and I can join (in my case rejoin) these buddies   

Strawbs - wow...  huge ... I had 8 pounders and I thought that was more than sufficient - couldnt imagine anything bigger fitting out!

Jojo - I am hoping it is a late implanter - nothing is clear at the beginning and I think a lot is based on averages and we know that we don't always 'fit' into the average. Hang in there honey.

CK - take photos of the dresses and post them!!! We'd love to see them. 
Sleepy penguin - good to hear that you may give it another go - enjoy practicing!


----------



## CK78

http://www.isabellaoliver.com/maternity-clothes/uk/100/maternity-dresses/DR060.html in blue

or

http://www.isabellaoliver.com/maternity-clothes/uk/100/maternity-dresses/DR052.html in pink

     ??
/links


----------



## strawbs

Hi ladies

CK, I cannot get those links to work.

JoJo good luck with your scan, think you said tomorrrow,  hoping for a nice big baby with a good strong HB.

AFM, feeling sick a lot of the time, apprently the steroids I am on will have masked some of the symptoms so goodness knows how sick I would be!!  I am huge and struggling to hide it, in very baggy tops (Bump is very high and looks 5m), think these drugs are causing it.

I have another scan tomorrow when I will be 9.3wks, then my nuchal on 24th May.  I have had to tell a few people already due to my size!!

My big boy is 4 today so feeling very nostalgic at his birth, our struggles to have him and just how much he changed our lives (sorry welling up now, damn hormones)

strawbs x x


----------



## CK78

Ummmm, I see what you mean! Jut tried them! I am on my phone so can't do it at the mo....


----------



## CK78

Hope this will work instead!?!?!


----------



## strawbs

very nice CK! I like the blue colour the best. I am so not pink!! Pink really suits some people

Jo just realised I am getting my week messed up and you had your scan last thurs and they have said wait until 12 weeks (think I am confusing myself as we both had thurs, but mine is this week!), hope you are OK. How you feeling?

this is quite a nice website http://www.picchumaternity.com/?gclid=CLSurajq4a8CFQkRfAodIlOCAQ

I bought this one but in black with DS2 and will be rolling out again for a wedding this year but having a sash made in a contrasting colour (maybe silver) with shoes, bag and wrap to match!!

I am a bridesmaid (well big massive maid of honor!) in sept aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhh!!! The dress that has been chosen is so not suitable for a bump

strawbs x x

/links


----------



## jojo29

Hi,
Had one of those days today where I thought I must be mad for having a third..all day dd has been naughty, pushing her brother, taking everything off her brother, throwing things at her brother...need I go on! I don't know what to do with her some days, like today. I took her swimming, a breeze but get her with anyone else, other children and ds then she's naughty.
Rant over..
Strawbs, I was actually thinking of taking myself off to a private clinic for a scan maybe next week to see if bubs is still alive, just weighing it up. I don't know whether nhs would do anything if scan showed mmc, they would prob say let nature take it's course, maybe anyway so I'd be no better off. Hmm, dunno.
Good luck with your scan tomorrow, bub should look much bigger.
Hello everyone else 
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

JoJo, you are being very good not booking in a scan, I am total nightmare.

Felt soooo sick all day, partly the m/s but also the horrendous anxiety that builds up before each and every scan.  I am a total wreck by the time I am on the table.  I am so lucky to have my 2 boys and if this one doesn't work out I will never ever forget that.  I jsut wish so much that I got pregnant, had my 12 week scan totally unaware of things that can go wrong.  I am trying to be sensible and keep thinking we have ad a HB on both scans so far.

scan is at 6.10pm so a very long wait!!

strawbs x


----------



## jojo29

Strawbs, good luck later, I am sure all will be fine.  hope to hear later from you.
I've booked a private scan for tomorrow at 11 I just have to know what's going on. This should put closure on whether it's a baby or not. 
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

hi
Jojo good luck for tomorrow, fingers crossed + u can then relax


Afm all perfect, 9.4wks! such a relief, big scan 3wks today


Strawbs x


----------



## jojo29

Great news strawbs, was it a bit emotional? Always ends up that way for me 
I'll have the nervous and sickness tomorrow but will see
Jojox


----------



## jojo29

Well, I thought I would have closure but I am going to have to wait a while longer. Scan today showed little bean still with a hb but still small, 6mm. It's a 6+4 embryo and I should be 8 weeks today but they won't say anything. Because the last scan was nhs and this one was private they can't compare so the private clinic are going to scan me again a week on Monday, free of charge (that's something)!. They suspect the heart will have stopped by then given the size etc. I feel awful. I don't think I can out myself and family though this again, I might just be happy and thankful for my two gorgeous babies and say enough is enough.
Hope everyone is good
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

JoJO, I am so sorry you are goiung through this.  It is awful and I have been where you are now.  I hope you get answers at your next scan so you know what is happening.

We decided this preg was our last whatever the outcome as I too find the whole thing so stressful and hard for my family.

thinking of you and if you need advice I have been there and got the t-shirt!!!

strawbs x x x


----------



## sleepypenguin

Jojo   So sorry what a horrible time you are having, hope you cna enjoy your family as much as possible over the weekend.

x


----------



## jojo29

Hi 
Thanks for kind words, means a lot. All over for me, started to bleed this afternoon. Can't believe how quickly after scan yest showed hb and all in tact. I just felt different today, sickness had gone and dull headache.
At least I will be spared the medical intervention.
Having a good cry with dp and a beer!
Hope to be back on the thread again, v soon with good news yet again (being positive)..
Jojox


----------



## sleepypenguin

Jojo   Give yourself time, keep us posted dont be a stranger.

x


----------



## Samb1256

I am so sorry Jojo. I know how you are feeling. It is very hard. Big      to you.


----------



## Caddy

I am so sorry too, JoJo.   


Like Samb, I know how hard it is and how devastating.   My only words of advice are pretty useless really, but just that it does get easier.  


As for me, pending AF looms so I wonder if I am ever destined to join this club. Onto the next month I guess.........


Love to all.
Caddy xx


----------



## strawbs

Hi ladies

JoJo and Caddy     , it is so hard but it can work even after loss, look at my signature.  it is a hard and painful road at times, but with high rewards.

AFM, feelign fairly sick still, but think it may be lessening slightly.  My bump is HUGE!!  not doing a good job at hiding it. I think the cyclogest and steroids are just massively bloating me.  Am 10.2wks (my dates) today.

strawbs x x


----------



## jojo29

Hi,
I am optimistic for the future and will be getting myself in shape with a view of trying again very soon. I had a forth scan today and finally got closure hb had stopped but everything was still in tact and my womb has seriously grown, as had the sack! I could feel it through my tum, I knew I was starting to show! Amazing how quickly you show the third time. I have taken the medical route to try and bring things on so hopefully i will have closure soon.
Caddy, don't write it off til the red witch shows!
Strawbs, pointless trying to hide it by the sound of it, everyone will have worked it out, no? I'm a dead give away, I eat all day!!
Thanks again ladies
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone!  


JoJo - I do so feel for you. What a horrible situation to be in. I hope like you said that you can get a bit of closure, at least physically, on it. Lovely to have the children around you at a time like this, but kind of hard too to get any space.     


Hi Strawbs - I know with number 2 I was back in my maternity jeans at 8 weeks.   Saddo. Even more sad is that I still have them!!!!!


Just taken my third humira injection to try and help ttc and calm my immunes down. Got one more after this and then that will be my lot.  


Love Caddy x


----------



## strawbs

JoJo, has your Dh taken some time off to be with you?  Make sure you have a hot water bottle, painkillers and some nice food.  Poor you, the whole empty sad feeling is unbearable but the age old cliche time is a healer is actually true.

Caddy...do you take immune stuff for pre-conception?  I havent taken humira is it a steroid?  I am on prednisolone and cannot wait to stop, makes me jittery and stops me sleeping soundly.  Makes me constantly hungry too.  But these things I can put up with if it works!!

My consul swears by Higs sterngth vit D as a natural calmer for immunes, I take until 20weeks

strawbs xx


----------



## Caddy

Hi Strawbs.


Yes alas steroids do make you rather hungry, but just eat and enjoy and worry about it later. That was always my view!!!


I am taking humira to try and lower my cytokines which are now rather raised. When I conceived DD2 naturally it was the month after a failed ARGC cycle which I had taken humira for.
I do not think I will ever conceive without any kind of help after 10 years of trying, but I thought I would give it a go. I think my severe endo makes my immune system a problem. If I did get a bfp I expect I would be on steroids too like last time.
So we shall see what happens.....
Cannot really face anymore IVF etc. Been there too many times.  


Love Caddy xx


----------



## strawbs

hi ladies,
Quiet here. hope you are all ok


Jo, how are you bearing up?


All ok here, huge! scan thurs so filling my head with negative thoughts as  i usually do, so anxious about m/c + also potential probs with baby. must stop! pretty sure am feeling flutters felt this early with ds2


X x


----------



## jojo29

Hi, 
Strawbs,  if you're huge that is a great sign, it will all be fine now. try and relax. Are you finding out if you are team blue or pink ?
As for me, felt odd the other day, as if I was ovulating so used an opk and got two strong lines, did it yest just to check it wasn't due to recent pregnancy and line was fainter so looks like I have ovulated exactly 14 days after took the pills, weird ?? Anyone else had this happen? I thought it would take a while to get back to normal. Of course we did the deed...only once tho on cd13 the day I got the lines, I don't expect anything to come of it but wanted to do it anyway in case..
Hello to everyone else, be good to hear from everyone
Jojox


----------



## jdm4tth3ws

hi

sorry for all your losses ladies.

am i selfish cos i feel it, im current ttc naturally for no5!!! previous relationship natural

briefly my 1st died at 9 months due to cot death (1993) previous relationship natural

my 2nd 1996 current dh icsi

my third 2007

my fourth 2010 shock natural 5 wks after icsi m/c

i am truly addicted  to pregnancy and child birth and addicted to getting that elusive daughter...................

it will happen.....................its got to happen.

unfortunately now, we have run ut of money, my amh is low 2.03 and although dh has count of 7 ml total, due to the vits recently motility has gone up from less than 20% to an amazing 71%, so fingers crossed.

i hope you all got what you wish for 


xxxxx


----------



## jojo29

Hi,
As far as I'm concerned you can never be selfish when it comes to wanting more children, it still hurts despite having them when you want more and it's not happening. My recent mc hurt just as much, if not more, than my first, pre children. 
I have to amend my earlier post, just went and took another opk test just to check the line was still fainter and it was strong again, like on cd 13, so I guess the hormones are still in my system, :-(. I guess i have to wait for af and hope she doesn't go AWOL 
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

j j m/c can make opk unreliable as cbfm says not to use it after one.


I conceived ds2 6wks after m/c with no af. I had fertile cm + we bms for 3days in a row! Good luck


Afm scan brilliant very active baby, low downs risk, she wanted to push me 4days fwd but as I KNOW my dates + have big babies, she agreed to 1day fwd 01/12/12. Relieved is not the word that  have got this far!


Strawbs x xo


----------



## sleepypenguin

Strawbs great news how many weeks are you?

Jojo Hope things settle down soon and you can start ttc again.

Jdm Welcome good luck with mission baby girl   .

Nothing new here finding the hot weather a bit of a struggle mainly trying to keep kids cool and out of the sun. I know never happy   .

x


----------



## strawbs

sleepy...am 13 weeks (although they keep wanting to push me forward obviously heading for another whopper!)

paddling pool and lots of icey drinks keeps them cool, we are lucky as we have lots of trees in our garden that provide different bits of shade throughout the day.  I am suffering a bit, think my internal thermostat now working, could be steroids?

Kids can be quite whingey in the heat DS1 has been  hard work today!

strawbs x x


----------



## Samb1256

Strawbs that is fantastic news on your scan. I so understand that 'relieved' feeling. Now maybe you can try and enjoy your pregnancy.   

Jojo I hope that it'll happen very quickly for you - the agonising wait and not knowing is so hard.  
Jdm - I agree with jojo. don't feel selfish about having more children. They are all such miracles after all. 
Sleepypenguin - how are things with you? Apart from keeping the kids cool    We don't have a paddling pool but I attached the sprinkler to the hose yesterday and let DS run through it a few times to cool down. He loved it! DD wasn't so keen but she isn't walking yet so I swung her around into the water - maybe that was a little harsh   
How are all the pregnant bunnies doing? 
xxx

Samb


----------



## jdm4tth3ws

hi,

not much to report here, or lots.  i had mu ultrasound and transvaginal scan yesterday and i have 2 fibroids. one dominant one named fred. lol. 17mm in diameter. waiting to see what next stepsare other than birth control or coil. ttc so that option out.  my eldest died of sids late 93, and after media coverage of police keeping 'things' from victims. well, superintendant came round yesterday to let me know that they had nothing remaining of my child. so very happy today, have been grieving since the news, but can finally look forward again.
im on day 23 of cycle afer ttc this month and i dont feel as if ive been successful. so ive been naughty and bought 1 of those home conception kits, its supposed to arrive tom!! anyone else used them, if so, are they any good?

my 16 yr old leaves school tomorrow. (got to go bk for exams) but hes pretty much done now OMG!!!  he had a job interview yesterday and hes got the job!!!! his prom is thursday night and he starts work friday morning at 10.45 am  Now i know im too old lol.
youngest started at childminders monday.  hes too clingy! so hes starting for 3 hrs every monday. she is s impressed with him. he is 22 mths, and she understands most of what hes saying to her (he never shuts up, even in his sleep lol) he can count to 4 on his own. confused with colours, but definitely knows pink flowers.  she has another child 6 wks older than him and she can only say 3 words. you can hold a small conversation with mine.he counts to 10 with prompting. so when i saw him through her eyes, he is brilliant. i just thought he was normal, but obviously not.

so hope everyone else is doin ok, will check back in soon

xxxxx


----------



## jojo29

Evening ladies, hope everyone making the most of the long weekend. I am trying to get in the spirit .. I think I might have AF, today got red, heavy, bleeding, hot flush etc, normal AF systems..I really hope so then we can get cracking on things in a few weeks....
A bit quiet round here lately
Jojox


----------



## galprincess

Hi ladies 
I have 1 DS natural and 1 IVF DS i am just starting treatment for number 3 i always said i wanted 3 but now im thinking maybe 4 is nice number lol i am terrible but for now i will concentrate on making number 3 good luck to you all on your quest xxxx


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone.

Bit of a downer post.

After much excitement and shock for a few days and the first time ever seeing a digi pregnant message, it looks like a probable chemical pregnancy. Just feels super mean after years and years of trying.
Horrid to see them getting fainter now.

Onto the next month I guess. 

Hope everyone ok.

Love Caddy xxx


----------



## strawbs

caddy, this happened to me last year, I got preg the following month.  it is so horrible at the time though as you get all the hopeful and happy feelings.  I woudl try next month for sure!


Hope you don't feel too sad

strawbs x x


----------



## Samb1256

I am so sorry Caddy. It is bloody awful isn't it.   

I have had nausea these past few days, not all the time but coming in waves. so I thought hmmm is it possible to have morning sickness before AF is due. AF not due until tomorrow.

So.  Just did a test. and my AF arrived.   

Why make me nauseous and give me false hope?!! arrgghh so disappointing...

Can I ask a personal question to you girls,  how often does everyone dtd around the time of ovulation (when you are trying to get pregnant)? Maybe we are not doing it often enough, or too much...


----------



## jojo29

Caddy, sorry for your news but you got pregnant, means you can do it again, you can win this battle, keep going. I know prob little consolation but I believe in positivity. I too got preg with dd after just one AF post MC.
Samb http://static.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/Smileys/classic/togetherhug.gif. Mother nature is cruel with her symptoms games. Treat yourself to a glass of something xx as for ttc we usually do the deed every other day, saying that I only did it once on cd11 with my recent preg and ov on cd14! 
Hi strawbs, growing nicely?!
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

Samb, nothing too personal on FF! We BMs every other day on our high days (cbfm) then each peak day, one day after peak, miss a day once more.  Look at the sperm meets egg plan, I based ours loosely round that. Sorry can't do link, don't know how on iPad! My DH has super sperm so if we had the stamina we could do it every day! 

Jojo yes am HUGE. Got hospital fri for consul appt, am consul led care again. Hoping for a listen in at HB. Feeling movements, so that is nice. Still got nausea though,
Good luck this month 

Strawbs x


----------



## Caddy

Hi girls.

Ok here. Hard to be down for long with my two gorgeous kiddiwinks to cuddle.

Thanks for all the nice messages. 

Samb. I totally sympathise. I am a terrible symptom spotter and have had mean months when I have thought this is something new and then AF rears her ugly head. Re DTD, I try to at least do every other day. I always think the day before the surge is a good one in particular.

Hi Jojo. Will keep on trying. Don't think I will ever stop!!!!  Just getting a bit old now alas. 

Hi  Strawbs. So glad all going well. So wish I could join you.

Love to all.
Caddy. Xxx


----------



## strawbs

Caddy 3am post??!!   

Here it is for ladies trying

http://www.pregnancyloss.info/sperm_meets_egg_plan.htm

Very good after loss. I have always tried to roughly follow this once I have actually been ovulating (which seemed to happen after DS2)

I cannot reccommend highly enough the CBFM though, I am really it's biggest fan (Had 4 preg with it, lots m/c but it helped to conceive for sure), just depends how relaxed you all are at trying, TTC and relaxed never came together for me. I am TTC 100% whether DH thinks so or not!!

strawbs x x

/links


----------



## Caddy

Hi Strawbs! 

Yes I am living in the USA at the moment so was only early for me!!!!!!!

I cannot help but ttc every month. Has just become part of my life. I am doing opks at the moment and trying to fit in as much action in as two small children and tiredness levels allow. 

Still waiting for full AF but reckon today or tomorrow. My levels were 14 on Monday so got to retest to make sure all down and nothing left on Monday. Hate going for bloods in those circumstances. 
Anyway, it made DH realise that actually he would have been quite thrilled to have had another on the way. So fingers crossed something happens and sticks.   

Love to all.
Caddy xxx


----------



## Samb1256

Thanks Strawbs for the info on the website. Very helpful.

I cant get the CBFM here where I live but will be in the UK this weekend and plan on getting it. Particularly if you recommend it. 
Heard today of a woman (I know her through colleagues) she is pregnant at 48!!!! She has a 16 year old and this is her first with her new husband. I pray it all goes well for her. But wow 48 !

Also today, another guy told me (they don't know of my situation) it is just the job I have that people tell me things. Anyway he is 51 and he had his first child at 39 his wife was 40. They now have 3 boys. 

It is amazing but whenever I think that my chances are lost I hear this, and it gives me more hope.

Here's baby vibes for all of us xxxxx


----------



## Caddy

Hi Samb.

Yes it does give you hope. I feel ancient now at 39. I think cos I have been ttc over 10 years. I know my ovarian reserve will be low after so much endo surgery so I don't think I will be still going at 48!!!!!! 
Just need one good egg I guess and a bit of luck.
My time line is tighter as well as now I have taken humira for my immunes it gives me a window of about five months before my levels will go back up so it is now or never for me.

How did your scan go Strawbs? I use to love seeing them on the screen so much. So exciting, but also nerve wracking too. Hope it all went well. Xxx

How is everyone else getting on?

How are you, Jojo?

So good having this thread as it is hard to post elsewhere as it makes me feel like I am being too greedy wanting a third. Still waiting for full AF although on way and not really been anytime to properly feel sad and think about it. Don't know if that is good or not.
Ho hum....

Love to all.
Caddy xxx


----------



## jojo29

Hi ladies,
Caddy, glad you are doing ok, I'm right behind you being ancient, I'm  37 in a couple of months, I can hear my eggs creaking of old age!! Like you say, just takes one, please be another good one in there for us!!
I am fed up to be honest, had a scan on Monday as still bleeding 5 weeks post mc and they said o, you look like you are ovulating, there's a follicle 17x20 on right side, so since Monday been using opks, every day there's been a line so looks like I have been ovulating all week, grrrr. My body is taking ages to get back to normal. Who knows what is going on with that follicle but it isn't popping an egg! I guess I need another AF to kick start things.
Thanks for the link strawbs, how many weeks are you now?
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi Jojo.

Not surprised you are fed up with bleeding going on for five weeks.  After a mc you just want it to be over and then move on. I have always found that to be the only way to cope and the same with failed IVF etc. I always needed a plan to be able to move on. I so hope that it stops asap. Plus it is not easy with two small children in tow. 

I have woken up today with a lovely painful AF.  although I am glad it finally started. At least the sun is shining here.

Hope everyone having a nice weekend.

Caddy xxxx


----------



## strawbs

jojo. have you had hcg bloods taken toc heck O? this happened to a lady was on a bfp thread, went on for ages. she ended up with another d+c. there was something retained be seen on scan. so frustrating for you. she is now 15wks preg!


I am 16wks today 
My SiL had her 3rd at 43. ddnt have her 1st until 37!
Strawbs xx


----------



## Caddy

Congrats on the 16 week mark.  So good to get past every little milestone. You must be so excited to see all the development, Strawbs. Are you going to find out the sex? We did both times at the 12 week scans as I was so impatient to know!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone having a nice Fathers Day. 

Caddy xxxx


----------



## CK78

HELLOOOOOOO!!  Its been ages since I posted, we have moved house and had loads going on so I just thought I would pop in to say Hi! 
How is everyone doing?  We have sunshine today which always makes me feel better!  My 'baby' was 4 at the weekend and i cant believe it!  I am now worried that i wont remember what to do with a newborn!  
I am 23 weeks now and feel like a hippo!  I think i will be bigger this time than the other times but then someone today said that i wasnt showing!!  Baggy t-shirt covering up i think!  
Only a brief visit as i have stacks of work to plough through, even though i would like a little siesta in the sunshine i had better get back to it!
C
xx


----------



## Caddy

Hello 

How is everyone? Any ttc luck?
Time seems to be moving very slowly here . Am so impatient.
Fingers crossed I shall ovulate as normal this month. Hmm....

Hope all our preggers ladies are ok. So wish I could join you.

Love Caddy
Xx


----------



## jojo29

Me too, caddy, days feel like weeks. There is lots of talk in our house but still can't do anything until I get an AF or get some hint I am getting back to normal.
Hello everyone else, like hearing how everyone is doing
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi Jojo.

I do so hope things get back to normal for you. Is there any chance that you have actually ovulated this month if the scan was showing a follicle?
It is all so frustrating.

Love Caddy xx


----------



## jojo29

yes I thought so but when i used opks they all had two lines on, all three days so I gave up. I did get one line a bit stronger on Tuesday but not as dark as I would have liked so I am thinking yes the follicle was there but possibly didn't ovulate. I should see AF today/tomorrow if that is the case, so fingers crossed.
Apparently you can use opks as pregnancy tests, they pick up hcg too! Just a tip
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

The only time I used an opk as a hpt was this last cycle when desperate to see a dark line and it was blank. 

Hopefully if you get AF soon then your cycle will return to normal the next time. I remember when I had cycle after Mc I had no ewcm or anything so not sure I ovulated. Having said that if you are getting strong lines it sounds like you did. 
It is all never straightforward.  

I am on day 11 so will start testing tomorrow maybe. I got a smiley face day 14 last time but that is quite early for me, although not unheard of. Think the humira makes my cycle a bit shorter.

Sending you some luck.  
Caddy xxx


----------



## Caddy

positive opk this morning at last but no bms as DH ill.  How unbelievably annoying is that? Sitting here with ovulation pains and a   face. Got that panic feeling of having missed it and feel sick.

How is everyone else?

Love Caddy xxx


----------



## jojo29

Caddy, I totally feel for you, I know the anguish you must be feeling. Don't be too disheartened, maybe he will feel better tomorrow or even day after will still be ok...otherwise give him a pot!!! Hahahaha
I started AF this morning after spotting for what felt like ever, so hopefully I will ovulate this month and all be back to normal. Can't believe I would have been 16 weeks tomorrow if not miscarried and that it has taken this long to back to normal.
How is everyone else? We need some more BFPs on here!!!
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi JoJo. 

So pleased AF finally here. Might feel like a bit of a fresh start to things for you.
So so hard when you count the dates of what could have been. Impossible not to. Sending you a big  . Would just be lovely to get a BFP that stays and focus on that instead.

Unlikely any BMS tonight me thinks. Did manage some pre surge, but so hard not to focus on the time slipping away once you get the surge. I personally think that the day before is the most important, then the day of the surge. Just wanted to give it my all over the next few months whilst I had this slim window of opportunity. Hard to do that and remain relaxed and casual about the whole thing.  I don't know. 11 years of ttc has driven me mental!!!!!!!!! 

Love to all.
Caddy xxxx


----------



## jojo29

Caddy, I totally agree with the pre surge days being important, my last bfp we only did the deed once a whole three days before i got a positive on opk so for me it is conclusive evidence!
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone. 

Quiet on here.

How are things with you, Jojo? 

No news with me. 

Love to all.
Caddy xxxx


----------



## jojo29

Not much going on here either, although I am getting some cm, only on cd9 so hoping it will all hang on as dp working every night and date night is Friday so fingers crossed it holds til then.
Are you on 2ww caddy? 
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Yes, alas.

Cannot help but symptom spot like a crazy woman.
Wish I was one of these people that could just say "oh I didn't even realise I was two weeks late........."
Will do a first response early. They must be super sensitive cos had a good positive and a digi pregnant last month even though my bhcg only reached the dizzy heights of 16!!

You going to use OPKs? Fingers crossed date night is the night! 

Love Caddy xxxx


----------



## jojo29

Yey, 2ww!! I hope to he joining you in a few days. I have some opks but don't know whether to use them as we can only do the deed fri or next monday as dp working other nights anyway so I don't know if it will cause anxiety to use it incase I miss it!! Hmmm. 
Oo, good luck for test day, is it soon ?


----------



## Caddy

BFN for me. 

Feel foolish now for thinking it could ever work again.
My time window on the humira is ebbing away and once that has worn off the chances are zero. 

Don't think I will get to join the rest of the preg ladies on here.

Good luck to you this month, Jojo.   we could do with some bfps on here.

Love to all.
Caddy xxx


----------



## CK78

sorry to hear that Caddy.  Dont give up, have a few days indulging in lovely things and get yourself geared up to trying again, I know its easy to say.     

Good luck everyone


----------



## Caddy

Thanks, CK78. 

Just trying not to be too grumpy with the children. I am so so lucky and have more than I ever could have hoped for, but the longing still does not go away. Just wish I could be "normal" instead of having spent the last 11 years looking at BFNs.
Got the wine in for later anyway.

Can't believe how quickly time is going for you. So pleased all is well. I loved being pregnant. Such a special time, but tiring with little ones.

Love Caddy xx


----------



## strawbs

Caddy so sorry on your BFN, hope next month works

Jojo good luck

Afm...been quiet been waiting for my 20wk scan, was today & all ok. Baby on 75th centile but still having growth scans due to my previous 2 biggies! Been so anxious think in part due to it being my due date of misc no.4 next week (I think the 2back to back m/c actually hit my harde than I thought). Going to try and relax and enjoy. One small worry is low placenta, hope it moves 

Strawbs x x x


----------



## Caddy

Strawbs try not to worry re low lying placenta. Apparently it moves in 90% of cases. I had that with last preg and it moved.


----------



## jojo29

Sorry you didn't win this month caddy, hopefully you're already getting in shape and feeling positive about next month xx
Strawbs, big is definitely better as far as I am concerned!! Mind you, mine have all come out of the sunroof so I would say that....
As for me, I am officially on 2ww. Got a positive on opk on Saturday and so probably ovulated Sunday. Only managed Friday pm bms as dp just shattered last night but still in with a shot I reckon..
Hi to everyone else
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

good luck Jo Jo    

Not so worried, would not really like much over 10lb, so far they are predicting smaller than my previous 2, so hope it stays on 75th centile!!  DH reckons a girl becaue of that...I still think boy!

Although the sonographer did say, they can grow a lot still (yes I know!!!!!!!!!)

quiet on here

Hope all bumps are growing well

strawbs x x


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone.

Hope all ok.
How are you, Jojo?

No news with me except feeling older and body clock ticking all the time!! Maybe I am just getting past it. 

Caddy xxxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi ladies, just GC for some opinions really. We welcomed our daughter [a sibling for my DS after being "diagnosed" with secondary infertility and going through 3 x IUI and 1 x ICSI] into the world at the end of June and we are absolutely over the moon. I know it's early days but we have never stopped thinking about our two frosties. How did you decide/know you wanted more than two children? Growing up, I always hoped for a big family and so has DH but since going through TX, I had kind of decided that I'd be satisfied to have two DCs ... just because of the heartache and emotional distress of BFNs and constantly "trying". However, both DH and I don't feel that it would be right to destroy our frosties or that it's too late to reignite our original hopes. My heart says that we should attempt an FET when DD is older but my head says that three [or potentially two plus twins!] is a whole different ball game. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.

Good luck on your continuing journeys all.


----------



## jojo29

Hi and welcome!
Congrats on your two babies.
If it were me and of course everyone will have their own view, I would have to give it a shot, I do not think I could live with it on my mind or I would donate them, now that is totally a personal thing on another scale but given my fertility battle I just couldn't let them go. That said, you could store them for quite some time whilst you make your mind up, there's no rush is there?. It's a difficult one and only you two can decide
Jojox


----------



## jojo29

Hi,
Caddy it has not been much fun in our house this last week, my 3 yr old is becoming a challenge to say the least, to the point where I have had to seek advice so it has given me a bit of a wake up call and made us reassess whether three is really our number! AF is not due til Sunday so we wait and see....
How's things with you, are you testing for opk?
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

Hi Bubbilicious!!  Can you not leave them a while before you decide?  I see you have just given birth, I have always been really broody immediately after giving birth and during BF and when I first stop feeding...it then seems to calm down again for a few months and back with avengance. Only you can decide what is best (if it were me I would go for it!), I will tell you in a few months what the jump from 2 to 3 is like, my friend is about to jump from 3-4 she had a boy, twin boys and now expecting another boy, she is incredibly laid back (which I am not!!)

JoJo, sorry to hear your DD is giving you problems......do you think she has picked up on the stress and anxiety of the m/c?  I do sometimes (often) wonder how on earth I will cope with 3 when I can barely control the 2 I have (made worse with illness with both boys since Fri and back and pelvis pain for me and Dh working silly hours!), I bet it works now you feel a bit more indifferent about it!!  good luck and hope things with your DD improve soon.

strawbs x x


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone 

Bubblicious - I would definitely use the frosties, but that is only what I would do. I would love to have frosties. Never got any over 6 cycles. Having said that, that is only me. Can you not leave the decision for a while? Hard to make those decisions with a tiny baby. Congrats on your little girl.

Hi Jojo - So hard managing two little ones. You need all your energy just for them. Does not stop me wanting though. Hmm... Must be mental. Fingers crossed for you this month.   No opks yet for me. Next week. I want to try and at least be aware of when we have bms according to surge to ensure I making the most of any humira effect.

Hi Strawbs. Hope you getting some opportunity to put your feet up. Not like expecting number one eh?!!!!! 

Love to all.
Caddy xx


----------



## jojo29

To be honest caddy, I can cope with the physical (thanks to wine and chocolate ) but it is the mental that is the challenge, what is she thinking, why ? How I can stop it etc..
I've been silly, used an opk today and got two strong lines as I had read they can be used for pregnancy tests but having googled it it seems you can have a surge of LH before AF too!!! No I am more confused, I wish I hadn't done it now...
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

JoJo -that sound really exciting. I have heard that so many times about opks as they can detect hcg as it is so similar to lh. I know lh is present all month to varying degrees but to get a surge could well be a sign of pregnancy. Keeping everything crossed for you. If it was me I would already be convinced of pregnancy!!!  When are you going to test? I have always found frer really reliable early.

All seems so impossible for me. Feel like I have been fooling myself to think I could get another BfP after all these years of IF. Why do all these horrid feelings never go away? 


Xxxx to all.
Caddy


----------



## jojo29

Caddy, don't think like that, you have to believe, I really believe in mind over matter. I had loads, I mean 8/9 iuis, then medicated iuis then ivf, I didn't even get one egg fertilised out of 16!!!! I started icsi then had to wait for cysts to go, which took ages then I thought enough is enough. Dp has low motility, high antibodies but a decent count, I have high fsh, tons of adhesions from burst appendix, err what else...I think you are getting the picture ...  And look the only pregnancies after all that were au natural. It was a miracle but it happened, 4 times!! Got be worth believing hey? 
As for me, did another opk and no line today so think the Internet might be right on this occasion must have had a surge yest ready for AF, which is due Sunday. If it doesnt appear I will take a proper test on Monday. It is just I have opks in the house and I hate buying preg tests.
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi Jojo.

I wonder what is going on with those opks. I am no expert about using them for pregnancy but have read of people getting surges when pregnant. I guess the only way of telling is a preg test. I gave up with them a long time ago, but then in the last few months with the humira have become a bit of an obsessive cos just know that if I did get a positive then I would want to get monitored by the ARGC who have monitored my previous pregnancies as I have a problem with immunes.
I am keeping everything crossed for you.  

Think I get a bit pessimistic as a protection mechanism, but it does not really help. I am feeling panicked about my age. I have been ttc since 2001. Now had two natural pregnancies with humira. So wish the one the other month had stayed. Don't know if I am mad to think I could be lucky again with severe endo, immune issues, one tube, high fsh. Groan. It so annoys me when I read the papers saying that it is womens fault for leaving it late as I started ttc at 28. Now pushing 40.
Sorry for the moan. Especially when you have enough on your plate with a cheeky 3 year old. How is all that now?

Loads of love,
Caddy xx


----------



## jojo29

Well, it's a bfn for me, AF started about an hour ago, 2 weeks to the day of ov. I suppose I should be pleased my cycle is back to normal but kinda hoped I would be lucky this month as you're supposed to be so fertile after a mc. Well, on to august I suppose.
Hope everyone else ok
Jojoxxx


----------



## Caddy

Hi Jojo.

Just seen your message. 
So sorry. I just get so disappointed so I know how you feel.
I thought that too that maybe it would happen the next month as people say you are more fertile, but then I remember that I have been ttc since 2001 so there is nothing normal about the whole thing for me. I think I am maybe delusional about thinking I could be lucky enough to have a third.

Do you think the feelings about it all ever go away?

Sorry to go on.

Anyway, sending you big hugs.  

Caddy xx


----------



## Samb1256

Hi jojo  - sorry you got your AF this month. I so know how you feel.

Caddy - I had just written a really long post describing how I feel and how much I understand you and I lost the bloody thing! 
In summary I hear you. I hate it when people blame women for leaving it too late and focusing on their careers etc bloody etc. I didnt meet my DH until I was 33. We married two years later and tried pretty much immediately. It has been a really hard struggle emotionally, mentally and physically but we feel very blessed to have two beautiful children now.  I am not giving up though. I am older - am 40 now (and if I am honest, erh nearly 41) I don't feel old - I have a tonne of energy and I think my body could handle another pregnancy. I am sick and tired of people telling me to give up and be grateful and I am sick and tired of feeling that myself.  I would hate to not try though, and would even go down the IVF route again if necessary. I will probably give myself 2 years and then I would stop. (mind you a friend of mine had her twin girls at 46..)

That said we only tried once this month! Long story, but on holidays with MIL who had adjoining room... go figure! Mind you when we did get pregnant this year we only dhd twice!

How are CK78 and STrawbs? How are your pregnancies coming along?

Sleepy penguin how are you?

Bubblicious -  for what it is worth, I was never lucky enough to have frosties but if I did I would definitely put them back in where they belong!    There is nothing wrong with wishing for another. Congratulations on your baby. I loved them when they were that small! 

xxx

Sam


----------



## jojo29

Getting a neg just brings the mc back doesn't it, grrr. 
Well caddy we must keep on..
We're off on Hols tomorrow so maybe we'll come home with a 'made in France'... Haha
Be back on soon
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

Hi ladies

JoJo..sorry on your BFN, enjoy your hols, we went to france this year, really enjoyed it!  (well except the fast ferry home....bleurg, mummy was no use whatsoever!).  Holidays are wonderous for TTC and relaxing!  Think the copious wine helps too!

Samb and caddy good luck on your quest

All ok here, am totally huge. Got another san on 15th. Had a massive wobble this week as my frind has lost her baby, she is only a week behind me, thrown up so many emotions.  Got to keep striong and keep on going.  Baby is very active, quite like DS1 (who is total livewire-never sits still and never really been a good sleeper, watch this space!)

strawbs x x


----------



## Caddy

Hi there everyone. 

Wow Strawbs. Wish I was huge!!! With baby that is, not permanent post baby wobble!!! . Am sure all will be ok. Good luck for the 15th. Always so wonderful seeing them in scans. 

Hope you have a great holiday, JoJo. How long you going for? Hope the weather kind after all the crap Uk weather. Made in France would be super fab. A little Pierre or Marie Claude!!!!

Hi Sambs. I appreciated your post. Especially hard when you are around that 40 mark. I keep wondering whether age was the reason for my chemical.  I just don't feel any older really than 10 years ago, but know that won't be true in the ovary department. Plus after lots of endo surgery I am sure to have a reduced reserve. I never wanted to get my AMH tested as it would probably be low and there is nothing you can do about it. My problem is I have such a short window of time with the humira. Then I will need to decide whether to take more or more ivf or give up. Not sure ivf would be much good for me as think my response would be poor. Plus would be so hard with two little ones. Just wish it was not all so hard and would just happen like for normal people. I also find it hard not to get a bit obsessed about it all. I try not to say too much to DH although he knows how desperate I am for a third. I also feel a bit panicked now re age etc. Sorry for the moan, but I just know that people here understand what i am saying.

Lots and lots of love to all.
Onwards and upwards. 

Caddy xxxx


----------



## Caddy

Hello 

Anyone there?

Xxxxx


----------



## Caddy

Hi everyone.

Really quiet.
No luck for me this month. Think I may have to give up.
Still got my two little beauties so cannot complain I suppose. So much more than I ever thought was possible. Think I am probably just past it now.

Love and baby dust to all.
Caddy xxxxx


----------



## jojo29

Hi,
Just back from the most amazing holiday, loved it so much, it was a perfect place for families, kids loved it. There won't be any news from me this month, didn't get to do the deed as kids with us pretty much all the time, up late all holiday. 
Caddy, sorry no luck again for you. I am thinking the same actually, I have two amazing miracles and I might just stick with that. I know there will be days where I might change my mind but I am thinking it might just be the way forward for us, I am getting tired of the stress of it and I wonder whether the kids are being effected by it....
What is new with everyone else ? 
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

Hi Jojo.

Glad you had a lovely holiday. I love travelling and seeing new places.
The one good thing about not dtd is not having to symptom spot like a mental case on the 2ww. I cannot help myself even after all these years. 

Am going to try and be a bit more relaxed about it all. Hmm... Lets see if that works.......

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## CK78

Caddy     Must be so hard.  Hope you are ok and looking after each other. xx Thinking of you. xx


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies

Is there room for a little'un.

Have two beautiful boyRory aged 4 who we got through 2nd cycle of IUI and a one year old Rory with first cycle IVF. Felt so blessed after this and was suprised to be so content after his birth, Really though that was it but the cravings have started again. So glad to find this thread cos thought I was mad wanting more. Feels kinda selfish when You know others desperate for  just one. Itsprivate joke ith close friends that the reason ai have fertitliy problms is otherwise I woulda filled house!!!

Actually rang clinic today but then hung up again. My biggest fear is obviously that it will not work, well not that exactly but that if it doesnt that I woul get on the crazy wagon again and not know when to call it a day instead of just enjoying what I have.( was a bit crazy during treatment  ). 

But I msure I would regret it more if I dont at least give it a try, ill never know otherwise.
Thanks for listeneing, good and all as friends are they jsut dont get it. Family is worse. i would be shot if they eeven knew i was thinking.

Best of luck to you all
Nonnie


----------



## Nonnie

Me again

Just read that. sorry about mispell. Typing quickly cos only found this thread and wanted to say hello.   Dh dragging me off to bed!!!

Nonnie


----------



## Samb1256

Welcome to the thread Nonnie. Your crazy is very welcome here! We're all in the same boat.

After trying ourselves for a number of months, we are going to see whether we can go for IVF again. I would really really really prefer to never have to take drugs/go through this process again but we were so fortunate last time that I can't help but give it another go.  

Hope everyone is doing well.
S x


----------



## Ajax

Hello Everyone


I hope nobody minds me jumping on in here.  This is my first post here in over 4 years as I have been away enjoying our precious miracles.  I have been incredibly blessed over the years and have 3 amazing children (one(13) from previous relationship and twins (6)with my DH) but we are now in a situation( we have been out of the country for over 5 years) where we would like to try again. I had an appointment with our previous Doctor a few weeks ago and he was happy to help us down the fertility path again.We just have to decide when......
  All seems quite positive until I think about it - I am TERRIFIED.  I never in a million years expected to feel like this having already been there and done that but I am.  I am so scared to want something that could quite possibly not happen. I am not scared of the actual treatment (ok, it's not a bed or roses but I got through it once before) but the emotional impact.  I always thought "yeah, we will try it again one day but I'll be fie whatever as I am already so lucky and content" and I am content with what we have, more than content. But, another one would be lovely too......... Goodness, I do sound slightly de-ranged there!  I know in my heart of hearts, I will be devastated if we go through treatment for it not to work but of course this is a real possibility.  My DH has also said this would be the last try for us (we have very limited supply of swimmers in deep freeze) so I feel I have this pressure on me for it to work or thats the end of the road which I am not sure if I am ready for someone else to dictate to me.  At the moment, this choice is mine if you get what I mean.  


Anyways, as I say say, I hope nobody minds me being here (I know it looks bad me moaning when I already have 3, but everyone's circumstances are different.) as I could really do with some support right now.


Love to all
xxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hellooooo everyone, sorry for the radio silence been having issues with DH and didn't really know what to post. 

Caddy Sorry for not being here to support you in your hour of need. The guilt of wanting more will never go away nor will the guilt of getting cross with our beautiful children we are so lucky to have. How are things now in the Caddy household?

Nonnie were we on the pg thread together last year? Welcome and good luck over the coming months

Ajax Hello, your very brave getting back on the rollercoaster moan away this is the one place you wont be judged for wanting more, are you back in the UK now? Look forward to chatting.

Strawbs adn Jojo Where do you go on holiday with kids to have a relaxing time? Our holiday was the most exhausting thing ever this year. 

AFM Our holiday bought some relationship issues to a head and I have given DH an ultimatum with regards to our future. It's not the first time we have been in a mess but this time we have children involved. He is trying to make an effort at the moment but how long can he make an effort for? In my heart I would love another child but in reality it's not fair to bring more children into an unhappy family luckily our 2 aren't old enough yet to notice but it won't be long until they pick up on things. So basically for the time being there will be no more baby SP, which makes me sad but you have to put your children first as a parent. I really don't want a big age gap between 2 &3 so the coming months will be crucial to our future family.

Sorry for my ramblings. Hope there's some happy news on here soon.

Hi to anyone I have missed
.
xXx


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies

Well i did it. After gathering courage from fertility friends I rang clinic and have some tests booked for 16th sept with review by consultant on 18th Oct (which is ironic because I got tkts for Dh last xmas to see Michael McIntyre that night so hopefully we will have something to laugh about!!!  Im hoping we can try something and deep down Im expecting IVF but you never just know with our wonky     (there doesnt seem to be picture of eggs so i figure this is what mine looks like)
Speaking of txt does any of you ladeis use supplements while going through it

Ajax    Dont think longing ever goes away.  Im terrififed as well but have come to conclusion that if it worked once it can work again. 

Samb  Are you going to clinic soon?? would be great to have company on the journey. Hope all goes well

Sleepypenguin  Sorry to hear about you and hubby. Ive been there. A year after we had out first little boy we went through a terrible time and we actually seperated for a while(i made hime leave to be honest). Thankfully we managed to work through it and are stronger than ever, well, we all have our moments!!. If I could be really forward and suggest marraige counselling. Its one of the best things we have ever done, apart from having our beautiful miracles. I hope everything works out for you      

hello and good luck to everyone else

Nonnie


----------



## Shooting star

Hi All

Hope you dont mind me joining you.

Its a while since I have been on this site but this was a life saver for me when trying to conceive the 2 children I now have. I feel greatly blessed but like many of you I am now really desperate to try for number 3. I never thought the feelings could be so strong. To be honest my whole family would be horrified if I told them I wanted number 3! The other huge problem is that DH really does not want to try for another as he says he has his 2 boys and thats enough for him. They are lovely and I know what he means but before I knew I had fertility issues I wanted a big family and people seem to assume that once you have difficulties you should stop after 1 or 2 at the most and be greatful for what you have. I think I should be allowed my hopes and dreams just like anyone else. If I am absolutely honest, sorry if this sounds bad, part of trying for another is that I would really like a DD. 

My eldest is 4 and youngest 11months. I am 34 with a serious pituitary condition that means there is absolutely 0% chance of conceiving on my own as I never ovulate without very expensive hormone injections. My endocrinologist says that my hormones will only get worse so  if I want another I need to start trying in the next 6 months to stand any chance of conceiving. Just cant persuade DH at all, he is adament and with no chance of a natural BFP I am finding it all really hard. What do I do?

Any thoughts greatly appreciated

SS


----------



## strawbs

Hi SS

I know exactly how you feel.  i am broody the minute my new babies are born!  I am talking myself into this is my last every day (currently so lucky to be preg with number 3)

Maybe just enjoy your boys for a few months and when your LO is a few months older mention to your DH again.  Men are funny, my Dh wanted a huge family-he is one of 7!!!  We always wanted 4 but after years of heartache and multiple m/c he is now adamant no more.  However........they often come round.  Maybe not mention for a few months and then just slip in what the consulatnt has said to you and let him think it is his idea.

good luck strawbs x


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi again SS can you believe our babies are nearly 1   ? I sneeked a peak at our birth thread the other day to see if there had been any surprise BFP's but couldn't see any. I think you put it perfectly "before I knew I had fertility issues I wanted a big family and people seem to assume that once you have difficulties you should stop after 1 or 2 at the most and be greatful for what you have. I think I should be allowed my hopes and dreams just like anyone else. If I am absolutely honest, sorry if this sounds bad, part of trying for another is that I would really like a DD. " I knew as soon as I (thankfully) had DD my bargaining power for number 3 was reduced   . 

How are you Strawbs?

Nonnie thank you for your advice I had already looked at relate don't want any one else to know about our 'situation' so getting childcare will be an issue. DH away at the moment so hopefully pondering our future.

Love to all
x


----------



## Nonnie

Its called fertilisim!!!!!!!  Think I will get it added to the Oxford dictionary. 
Just because we are blessed with 2 healthy children children we should automatcally shut off our feelings and not want any more. We are then judged when we do.   
The two times before I told all my closet friends about treatment, but havent told a soul we going back to clinic this time yet.

SS you babies are same age as mine. I think sometimes once they get bit older and easier managed?? Yeah i Know there is no such thing)    but when they start to sleep better at night DH often comes around. Hope things work out for you.

Sleepy P  it an be hard to get sitters, esp with younger babies but you could say you are going out for dinner for hour. Apt ususally in evening times. all joking aside date nights very important. Just time alone to chat about everything and nothing. Fingerscrossed for you.

best wishes to all

nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Hi lovelies


Hope you are all doing ok today?


Nonnie and Sleepy - Thank you for your lovely understanding and welcome.  It is such mixed emotions right now!


Nonnie - I see your test are coming up soon so good luck for them!  I am very jealous of your Michael McIntyre night out!!


Sleepy - I am sorry to hear about yours and Dh's problems.  I truly hope that you can work your issues out quickly and move on to brighter days   


SS - Hello!   Totally agree you need to plant the seed and let DH think it has all been his idea! I bet the last year with your LO has passed way too quickly.


We returned from Asia to Scotland a year ago.  We previously has treatment in London (used to live there) and have been working out logistics of doing another icsi cycle with the same consultant.  We have kind of a plan in place to do an October/November cycle but I am stalling a little...the whole treatment means leaving my children with my parents for around 5 days which I am very wary about - I just don't want to leave them to be frank.  So have started looking at Scottish clinics as an option so I can do day trips and minimal nights away from home.  Last month we went for the screening bloods, scans while on holiday in London and today I got a lovely HUGE bill for it all - I nearly died there and then - i'd forgotten how bloody costly this process can be!  Also, my results have told me my ovarian reserve is "lower" so I might only get a small amount of eggs.  I have to say (and I hope it does not sound stupid) I was absolutely shocked - I didn't see that coming and it feels like a huge blow.  I suspect I am just blowing everything out of proportion because of my nerves and such but I feel really very down about this unexpected news! So at 33 years old I am on the way to being Past it    Oh and they have the nerve to charge me for making me feel totally sh**e!! 


Sending love and hugs to all xxx


----------



## Shooting star

Ajax - Hi, yes the cost is frightening isn't it and all because they know we will pay. It must have been really difficult finding out about your ovarian reserve and at 33 you are definately not past it! You made me laugh with your comment about them charging for bad news though - so true. All the best.

Nonnie - 'Fertilism', like it! Yes our little ones are very similar ages (not finding them that easy though - youngest has a few medical issues and I am struggling with behaviour management with my eldest!)

SP - Good to see you again (thats not quite right on the internet is it, but you know what I mean!!!) Yes, loosing barganing power is frustrating. Sorry to hear things are not going as well as they might. Hope things improve soon.

Strawbs - Congrats on being pg - how exciting. I think I will follow your advice and keep quiet until Christmas then maybe in the New Year he will think differently. If I am honest I am not convinced he will ever change his mind but while there is still hope I will keep trying.

SS


----------



## Nonnie

Good evening ladies

Ajax. Your still on the good side of 30. Im on the slippery slope to the big 40 so I doubt very much you are past it. But yeah the cheek of having to pay to be told that. Trying to scrape together the money to pay initial conult... plus have spent small fortune on vit supplements which I am force feeding hubby, just incase we get the ok for treatment!! 

SS  I hope your youngest is ok.  Dont get me wrong mine arent getting much either. My firstborn was a great sleeper, literally like a baby. But "wee neach" as we call him doesnt know the meaning of the word sleep. I got such a suprise as I thought he woulld just be the same. So I was all super nanny over the first and have ended up with the youngest in the bed just to get nights sleep, otherwise i look like this    we now slowly getting into a bit of sleeping routine which is why i left it to now to bring more babymaking up with DH.  Like yourself trying to mange behaiour with eldest. He is all into huffing at minute  

Hope everyone else is ok   

Nonnie


----------



## Shooting star

Nonnie - My youngest has hearing difficulties. He failed newborn hearing test and has been having regular tests even since. So far we know he has no hearing at all in the left ear but they have not made a final decision regarding the right ear. In addition he caught bronchilolitis very badly when he was only 7 weeks old and we nearly lost him. He was in hospital for 2 weeks on drips, supported breathing and a feeding tube. Terrifying at the time. This has meant that he has weak lungs I guess as he gets colds etc very badly and suffers froM asthma. So he has breathing and therefore sleeping and eating problems alot of the time. 

The main problem with my eldest, I am sorry to say, is that he is quite aggressive and will hit and push other children. I am deeply upset about this and am very firm about it but he continues. Have spoken to the health visitor and she thinks it is attention seeking, partly because we have to spend so much time with our youngest. He can be very affectionate and articulate but seems to be carrying alot of anger. We have also moved twice in the last 8 months which has not helped. So I know there are reasons but I still have to stop it as its not acceptable. Sorry, that turned into a bit of a moan but the situation is really getting me down at the moment as progress is very slow.

SS


----------



## Nonnie

SS

Goodness you have been in the wars. Must have been awful when your wee man was ill. Cant even imagine. Sometimes I think us fertility ladies spend so much time worrying about getting preg and then getting to end of nine months that we forget then that there is a whole lifetime of worry(please God) to come. Hopefully as he gets older his chest will get stronger. Fingers crossed about his final hearing.

The aggression can be hard. My eldest was like that for short period when wee juniour came. Even with kids he used to love to visit, I remember sitting looking out my front window one day when a girl form work called, in time to see my son with his hands around the other wee fellas throat. I nearly died. Thankfully he is pretty much over it but still has his moments. Moving house is up there as one of the most stressful things you can do so if youve done it twice now in the last while, its prob affecting him also. You've prob been given loads of advice but try and have mummy and son days if you can get sitter. I started taking my oldest swimming just me and him and made it like our secret. He loves it when junior is too young, bold etc to do things with us. In fact eldest loves getting junior into trouble full stop and has turned into a real wee tell tale. 

All of above is also prob why your DP isnt too keen to go again. Hopefully wherever you are located now, Everyone will start to settle and things will improve. Does your eldest go to any playschool etc .That made big diffrence  to my boy

P.S. That was not a rant its a woman who is going through a lot at mo and sure that is why we got on site to support each other !!!
Take it easy misus    
Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Hello again

SS- Moaning? I think not! Wow, you really have been going through it haven't you? Sorry you have had to go through all this with your little people.  I am an (retired since had my twins) ex Paediatric Audiologist so if I can help you with any questions regarding the hearing issues then please do yell.  Are you getting support with your son's hearing issues from a local department? I know its not the same but my girlie twin was pretty similar with aggression for a while - she used to leave claw marks on all her little friends bodies - I was ever so embarrassed and luckily the other Mum's involved were quite cool )at least to my face!) but I was mortified.  I suspect being a twin (and always the laid back one initially) she was competing for attention too.  We started the whole one-on-one time, literally just taking one to Tesco's each week and swapping and they loved that.  Also, like you we did moves (albeit International one's) 2 times throughout this period so I do wonder if it was all a knock on effect.  The good news is she (touchwood) seems to be over it and is a pretty loving, caring 6 year old now who would never raise her hand to anyone at school - probably because she is an absolute teacher's pet 
Nonnie - Sorry but I did have a chuckle at the thought of such a little person with their hands round a peer's throat!!  It is just not the done thing!  So glad he has outgrown this now!!!

Well I am in such a muddle.  We live in North Scottieland and we were pretty much going ahead with treatment next month in London BUT the I decided I really don't want to be away from my children so long (it works out around 10-12 days).  After hmmming and haaaing, I am now looking into clinics in Scotland.  I don't know whether its the right choice and often go by better the devil you know but I can't help thinking I have much better chances of it working if I am more relaxed and comfortable.  At most I would be away from them say 2 nights if I go closer to home.  Now in my head, even if the clinic stats are lower, surely I have better odd's being happier than stressed out leaving them??  I think because my Dad has been ill this year, I am not 100% comfortable leaving them too long with my Mum but a few nights when I am only 3 hrs away feels much easier to me.  Just have to then work out how to get DH'd swimmers up North.  Oh this is such a can of worms I am opening now.....all those old feelings of emotion are healthily sweeping over my body and here was me thinking it would be so much easier this time around - I wish!!!

Well better dash, need to do a few more boring house chores and then the madness of the school run!!

Much love to you all

A xxx


----------



## Shooting star

Hi Ajax,
Oh dear you have done it now. I have loads of questions!   I wont bombard you though. I had a letter of part diagnosis this week regarding his hearing so when I can find it I will type the paragraph and maybe you could explain it a bit or offer any advice you have.

We have been seeing the audiologist at our local special needs children's centre every 3 months but the appointments are now every 6 months. To be honest I am more worried about possible implications for speech and language etc.

My eldest went through a biting phase for a few months when he was about 18months. Thankfully he grew out of that. That was pretty aweful as its totally socially unacceptable and other parents are not at all tolerant of it. He is now 4 and started school this week. I have already been called in to talk about his behaviour. Today he hurt 6 children by hitting or pushing. (I am an early years teacher myself so even more embarrasing   ) Really pleased to hear your DD grew out of it. Makes me think there is still hope!

It sounds like your decision to have treatment closer to home may be a good one as feeling as relaxed as possible is so important for you and the rest of the family.

Nonnie

He has started school this week but went to nursery 5 afternoons a week last year. The behaviour has been gradually worsening throughout the year. We bought a new house but it needed lots doing to it that we did not know about eg asbestos! It was not safe to move into so we lived with my mum for 8 weeks in her tiny 2 bed cottage. Once the asbestos was removed by specialist and the air treated and left empty for the required period of time we moved into this current house. No more moving! I think whata you and Ajax said about spending special time alone with him is a really good idea and he is desperate to learn how to swim. Once my husband and I finish the Makaton sign language course for our youngest at Christmas we should also have more time.

Thanks ladies for all the support. Its just good not to feel alone, especially after another difficult day today.

SS


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

I also think it is more important for you to be relaxed so you should go for more local clinic. Just make sure whatever clinic you pick, that you believe in it and then just go for it!! Too much travelling is stressful and you will only be lying up worrying about your two girls instead of envisaging a nice cosy womb full of embies!! Good luck with the research. Yeah I thought I would be all sensible this time round but have gone completely gaga since contacting the clininc and cant stay off the site or looking up anything remotley fertiltiy related.  

SS

Im sure things will settle now given a little time. I understand where you are coming from but just because you are early years teacher doesnt mean you will have all the answers(no offence  ). Im a Social Worker in mental health and my mum has been unwell for years. I can never get her to do anything and just today her Community Nurse got her to agree to gp visit, a befriender and Im left red faced thinking that the nurse probably thinks im useless.  however the sensible part of me knows we can train and be a professional as we like but when it comes to family we are just that...family who have emotional involvement.

Ill give you another(non violent) giggle before I go. During my eldests reign as wee bully we had another lady and her son visiting and this wee fella is quite big physically but really soft and sensitive. My son decided to tell him that he was a really, really bold boy and no one liked him and the poor wee thing was so upset he spent the next ten minutes throwing up. Its a wonder I have any friends left!!!!! Ironically enough the two are best of pals now....most of the time   

Im off to bed....... To sleep!!. we are on the no hankypanky rule (no more than five no less that three) until after the tests on Friday. YIPEE 3 nights of peace    hehe

Nonnie


----------



## Caddy

Hello everyone.

After a few weeks of trying not to be baby obsessed I find myself at the usual depressing time of the month now baby obsessed. 
Am seriously thinking of more treatment, but the thought and likely outcome make me feel it would be madness. Only thinking because the other option is to accept defeat.
Am sure DH will not really want to do it either.
Hmm...

And there is the approaching 40!!!! All in all, not good.

Sorry for the moan.
Any news from anyone?

Love Caddy xx


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## Ajax

Evening all!


What a fast and crazy week this has been.  We have been doing a major declutter and shift around in the house. I have binned and donated so many black bags of what I can only describe as crap that we seem to have shifted with us from various continents.  I decided I needed to try and be more organized as I am such a scatter brained typical blonde!  Anyway, now regretting this decision - I keep reminding myself I need to make the mess to make it better. Time will tell!!


Nonnie - Good luck for your tests tomorrow - hoping they are not too stressful!  Your Eldest sounds like such a character - glad the boys are good friends now.


SS - How are you and your lovelies?  How are you finding the SL course?  Is littilie making anyway with SL? It is pretty amazing to see such small people communicating effectively with it.


Caddy - Hello!  Moan away to your hearts content hun.  It is funny how you can suddenly become baby obsessed just like that.  Have you approached the subject with the DH at all?




Well, Iv'e booked us in to meet the new clinic/Consultant next Friday to try and gauge it.  I feel guilty about "cheating" on our other Consultant and keep switching between each side but have decided to be open minded until I meet the other one and see what she has to say.  I'm just a tad peed off with previous Doctor too because he could have actually given me the pill to co-inside treatment with the kid's school holidays which means we could have taken them with us to London and had the best of both worlds.  Oh, just ignore me I am peed off with my own shadow this week.  My head is officially in meltdown mode.  I swing between excitement, dread and fear. I remember being exactly the same 7 years ago but this man telling me I have a lower reserve has sent me scattier than normal.  I need to embark on the de-stress diet and learn to chill.  I haver started on the diet and vitamins, I just wish I could get one for my thoughts.  One of my friends is TTC her 2nd baby and is moaning to me because she has been trying for 3 months and it hasn't happened yet.  Turns out after speaking to her that she was pretty clueless on how the body worked and i suggested she buy an ovulation kit.  She's lovely bless her but she is hopeless regarding treatment too and keeps saying "oh you'll be pregnant before me at this rate"......nice!! Wish people would engage brain before mouth!!


Well tomorrow DH and I have been together 10 years. Cannot believe it has been that long. My parents are having the little people overnight while DH takes me somewhere. I don't know where but he is pretending it is the local Indian - it isn't there, it's just his thing to try and throw me off the trail.  I always have to pretend I am surprised we arrive somewhere different,bless him.  Need to make an effort and break out the slap and heels - now that is scary  


Right, I'm off to beddy bye's alone as DH still at work (boo!).  


Love to all xxxxx


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## jojo29

Hi everyone !
Not been on for a while, it's the same for me caddy, it's that time so the focus is on what could be and again what could have been :-(. Not been able to 'try' for two months now because of timings, first was kids and holiday, second was at centre parks with 8 people staying in the same house so no chance..
So I am having a moan too.. 
Jojox


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies

Well we went to clinic on Fri. Everything went ok except I always seem to get the trainee nurses who cant get my blood (as its hard at the best of times). Was letting her try anyway until she proceeded to break the BP machine thing and decided enough was enough  

Dh took the whole thing in his stride. he has been taking every vitiman supplement I throw at him bless his wee heart. Seems to be taking the whole thing very seriously this time, know he wants a DD, I just want a baby, any baby. He moaning at me to get me off the chocolate....can do anything except give up dairy milk bubbly  

Ajax  Hope you night out went well!!!  Congrats on the 10 years. Dont be worrying about two timing your consultant. You need to do whats best for you and besides at the minute you are only window shopping  hehe !!!!! Im taking supplements too. Went a bit mad on Anglebumps protocol. What kinda diet are you on??

jojo and caddy we are all baby obsessed so moan away we wont hold it against you   

Im off to eat me last bar of chocolate while hubby is reading to eldest. Apparently if himself finds any in house from tomorrow on ( im like a alcoholic I hide it all over the house) he's going to put it in the fire.

Nonnie


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## Ajax

Hi all


Jojo - Hello and as Nonnie, said, please moan away - we all seem to be experts at it!!   


Nonnie - Glad your clinic trip went alright.  Oh you are brave with regard to trainee's.  I am actually a real meanie at this despite the healthcare background myself.  My issue isn't the trainee's as such but the fact you are usually in a teeny room and there's you, DH, the Doctor, Nurse and then the trainee.  I just feel closed in by all of them staring at me (even if it is just my arm) and so I always refuse!!  I know, they have to learn but thats why there are nice people like you around      I love the two timing expression and what's worse is I'm two timing HIM with a HER!! Hehe!!
Erm.....why are you giving up choccie?  Now, correct me if I am wrong but you must be stress free for treatment right? Taking the bubbles away will not aid this! I suggest finding a better hiding spot and limiting your daily dosage!!
I reread the IUI turned IVF beginners guide again a few weeks back and remembered I followed it pretty much to a t last time when it worked so thought I'd best do it again and at least I can say I gave it my all.  Vit C, Coenzyme Q10 bla bla and have now de-toxed from caffeine, drinking my 2 liters a day, eating the protein and veggies and whole grains.  Basically just trying to have a balanced healthier diet. Wont give up choccie completely though as the caffeine thing was bad enough!  
As for Friday's night out - well that was a non-starter and DH almost ended up getting a      from me but it wasn't really his fault.  He ended up working until 5 am on the Saturday morning so we had to cancel and pay for the missed reservation.  He actually worked 44 hours and wasn't home once during this time bless him and I did make him miserable with just enough moaning and groaning!  We are re-booked for next Friday.  We are off to Glasgow for a few nights all alone with no kiddies whoo   . I love my babies lots and lots but we have not had a night away in a hotel alone for around 9 years!!  Of course we are tying it in with my window shop on Friday morning but I am still excited and grateful to my Mum who has the pleasure of my trio's company!!  


Righty oh, have a lovely week everyone - love to all, Mwah


A xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

Sorry to hear your night didnt come off but glad you rescheduled. Your poor man works long hours. Yeah we love the little 'uns but there is nothing like a wee sneaky night away in a hotel!!!   

The chocolate crisis has passed.Had braced myslef and came home Monday night minus chocolate only for himself to say"have ye no choc tonight". I made him feel guilty so him and the boys set off to shop to buy me some. As you say I will just have in moderation    yeah right. But he txted not so long ago to tell me he is bringing home the 50-50 bread. We tried this few months ago trying to encourage boys to eat brown instead of white, following which I reduced my toast intake dramatically. I be so good all day. have smoothie with berries, seeds etc in morning and eat healthy for lunch and dinner but when gets boys in bed at night hit the toast and choc. But as you say need to be stress free and thought of no toast/bubbly breaking me out in sweat. so will pass on Dr A'S recommendation to hubby hehe  Must try and locate that IUI to IVF. I think im not doing too bad but not geting all the water in. Find that hard. Im out and about with job and water gets warm and yucky in car.

Hope you have a lovely time away. Behave (not) and good luck with the window shopping.

SS if you reading, thinking of you

Hi to everyone else. Hope you all well.
Nonnie


----------



## Samb1256

Hi everyone 

Sorry I haven't been on much. I need to go back at least 6 pages to catch up on all the posts. This is turning into a great thread! 

I hope those that are pregnant are well and those that aren't yet are not losing hope. 

After deciding to go back down the IVF route for us - I made our appointment which isn't until end of November and even at that - it is just a discussion as far as they are concerned. Anyway low and behold my AF hasn't arrived this month.... yep did a test on Saturday (14 days after possible conception) or day 27 of my cycle and it is showing pregnant 2-3 weeks. I am desperately trying not to think about it for fear it will end in tragedy like my previous m/c earlier this year but I am praying for a chance, just one iddy biddy chance that this pregnancy will make it. 

by the way, due to working abroad etc, we only dtd once this month! when they say it only takes one time, boy do they mean it.

xxxxx

S


----------



## Nonnie

Samb  
Congratualtions!!!!!!!!!

!!    

Great great news. Gives the rest of us hope too. Does that mean I can lay of my hubby for a while hehe.You will be fine.Burrow in goood and tight little one x

Ajax. 
Waiting away to hear how your few nights away went. How was the window shopping. Did you cheat erm I mean buy   

I pulled my neck muscle this am. SOOOO sore. Youngest son is now really hard core on his feet and goes a million miles an hour. I hurt neck trying to prevent him and tv from landing in front yard. Hubby who does sports injury is gona try fix it tonight. Sounds great but i never get any nice massages but he seems to really enjoy giving me a pounding when ever I pull something. 

Good luck all

Nonnie


----------



## sleepypenguin

Way to go Samb   it all works out keep us posted.

 to everyone.
x


----------



## strawbs

Samb, great news congratulations!!!
Strawbs x


----------



## jojo29

Samb, huge congratulations,
Keep us posted
Jojox


----------



## Ajax

Hello again!


Samb -   on your fantastic news!! Lots of      coming your way!!


Nonnie - Thanks for your message! Iv'e only just gotten in front of the Laptop today since my last posting. It's been a crazy busy few weeks with up's, downs and much in-between.  Our little trip to Glasgow was fabulous! Plenty of fun and frolics   . Proved we still quite like each other too!  Had fun shopping and bought a few sneaky things - really nice new suede boots too that I have managed to sneak into the wardrobe.  Was sitting in Costa at 8.30am on the Friday morning having myself a lovely decaf latte and toast , when I got a call on my mobile from the clinic canceling my appointment due to staff sickness.  Oh I was so upset, I know it wasn't the Doctors fault at being sick but they had no cover and they were just lucky I was tagging this onto the end of hubby's business trip otherwise it would have been an 8 hr round trip for nothing! Of course, in my fragile state I over analyzed the whole thing and was worried this clinic could potentially let me down mid-cycle and I had no trust.  After DH calming me down (well actually kicking me up the ****!) I decided we would give them another try given they were now offering me a free consult) but when we were trying to schedule it the clinic never had an available slot that suited.  If this wasn't the universe telling me something, I don't know what was!!!! The final nail in the coffin was when they told me partners were not allowed with you during EC or ET! I know that I can do all this with previous clinic so after much deliberation we have decided to stay with the original chap.  I may not "like" him much but I do trust him to know his stuff and his stats are good so London it will be.  Looks like we will take the plunge mid November now which means I need CHristmas organized before we kick off hence the crazy week.  Also been moving the whole house around and organizing as much as I can!!  Just need to call London and arrange now.......


Hows your neck? Sounds like a wonder woman move on your part to stop a flying TV   That def deserves a nice piece of choccie!!!


Lots of love to all


A xxxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Ajax


Ajax said:


> The final nail in the coffin was when they told me partners were not allowed with you during EC or ET!


 What I would love to know what their rational for that is, who do the ladies insult while under the influance if DP's not there?  Good luck in London.

Nonnie hope hubby fixed your neck

Samb how are you?

Have done 2 tests this month as feel exhausted and have other symptoms but BFN both times, don't think I will ever learn  . DH making a real effort at the mo hence the tiny chance I could have been pg  . Half of me was hopefull for a BFP the other half was wondering how on earth we would cope with another baby.

Any other news?

SP


----------



## Nonnie

Evening ladies

*Ajax* so good to hear from you again. Was getting worried  Well as you say if that wasnt a sign I dont know what is!!! Im glad you had good time nayway. Its great to get away and relax.
Neck is much better and I think Hubby rather enjoyed pummeling it back into place. My latest news is that after some recent headaches(which I jumped to conclusions and decided was due to sudden surge of multi vitimans Im popping) went to gp (who thinks it is cluster headaches) and subsequently got eyes tested and have to wear glasses for driving and tv. Cant believe the difference in that I can actually see outside of the car now hehe but also cant beleive that hubby had decided they are a bit sexy. Men 

best of luck with arrangements for london. keep us posted.

*SleepyP* You are not alone. I take a wee notion every month that I might be preg. We just cant seem to help ourselves. Hopefully one day it will be true. Did you really insult himself in EC!! I conked out like a light and only came round slightly near the end and though it was quite cool in my hazy state that the whole think looked a bit holby cityish. This intolerance to medicine comes form my fathers side. We all have to lie down and sleep after taking cough medicine 

This has been the longest few weeks. The apt on 19th is still so far away. Im off to book hotel now for that night. Talk to you soon

Nonnie


----------



## Caddy

Huge congratulations to Sambs.       
Brilliant news. 

Hi to everyone.

Was thinking about the possibility of more ivf (groan), but just found out my amh level is less than 0.16 and my immunes sky high, so it looks like I need to get onto the moving on thread instead. 

Best of luck to all you lovely ladies. 

Caddy
XXXXXXX


----------



## Ajax

Oh Caddy - I am sorry to hear that. You must be so upset and confused right now.  I hate the AMH test - I don't feel anyone should get one without suitable counseling - especially if you suspect all will be normal.  Big      to you. xxx


SP - Apparently, it's because it's done in theatre?! The receptionist was lovely so I couldn't argue with her - she's just doing her job.  I did want to point out c-sections are always done in a theatre and that husbands where usually present for this but just thought "what's the point"...just too many hurdles.  See now, I always want DH there to whack me on the head should I start insulting the Doctor (as iv'e mentioned before, I don't particularly like the man!)   


Nonnie - Glad the Neck is better and gave hubby a fun night   
No wonder you feel better if you needed glasses - it can get scary when you realize what's missing! Do you dress the glasses up with the sexy seccy look for the man? Hahaha!! Roll on the 19th for you! How far away is your clinic for you to travel?


Well, not much else to report to be honest.  Kiddies have the end of term school disco tonight from 6-7pm. It's an early Halloween one so dress up is essential   . Ruben can't decide if he's going to hit it on the dance floor or go to cricket training (same time!). He went into school today still debating with himself bless!!  I need to get packing too as we are off next Wednesday for nearly 2 weeks - another Jolly to Glasgow and London (non treatment this time   FYI - we used to live in London so know so many folks, just in case anyone thought I was having a love affair with the Capital!!). I love getting away but HATE HATE HATE the laundry on the return urgh! 


Anyways, much love as always


A xxxxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Ajax Is it half term already it only seems 2 minutes since they went back, I love the holidays as the morning commute is so much easier. 

Caddy   Good luck with all you decide in the future

Nonnie Unfortunatly I was rude to DH (although I don't remember a thing) I told him it was all his fault we were there   which is really annoying as I haven't once thrown it back at him. Roll on the 19th.

LOve to all

x


----------



## Nonnie

Evening ladies

Caddy    Sorry to hear that news. Best of luck to you

Im starting to panick about my results

Ajax  Clinic is hour and half away. Were do you get energy for all that running around. Take and lie down girl before your treatment. These two boys of mine have me that wrecked that all hubby sees with my glasses are trackies and tshirts covered in weetabix. Im going to have to make an effort for next week. Really are getting old, we have decided to forgo the night out after McIntyre show in favour of a whole nights sleep   Well Im sure himself has a different impression of this agreement, I actually do mean sleep hehe.  Plus we really shouldnt be drinking. Having said that if the news is not good I plan on hitting the old cocktails   

SleepyP  thats so funny. Good job its not recorded!!!  

Tonight week we will hopfully have more idea of what(if anything is happening). Time is really dragging

Nonnie


----------



## Klarka

Hello ladies,
can I jump in please? We have twin girls who are 15 months and I am longing for another baby...it seems that after so many years of hoping and praying, "just" two babies just don't cover it ) We decided to try FET in November, but we haven't told anyone. Three children are considered a big family here and people are not always understanding. I have good friends who would support me, but I don't want them to be sad if it doesn't work for us. So here I am, hoping for help and support on this forum again  Any other crazy mothers of twins who just feel they're not done having babies?


----------



## Nonnie

Eveving ladies

Hi Klarka and welcome. I have two beautiful boys(not twins) but am also on the road again so you are in right place. Havent told anyone this time yet either and dont think I will as get all my support here!!

Well it nearly D-day. Up now on thurs (im that far through its 18th not 19th )for our results and to see what if anything we can do and when. Starting to feel bit sick/nervous about it. Took my Af yesterday and the babysitters wee girl is in hopital(and she is the best babysitter ever, she seems to have severe infection in her kidneys, or at least that what we hope) so Im already on the verge of tears and havent got anywere near the clinic yet  
Can only imagine the scene if the news isnt good, not even Michael Mc Intyre will be able to cheeer me up.

Anyway, enough moaning. Hope you other ladies are all well


Nonnie


----------



## Nonnie

Evening ladies 

Its me again. Hope you are all well, Its gone a bit quiet here
After a disasterous start thurs- we fell out before left house cos he made us late,  but had to makeup cos 2hrs in the car is just too long(even for me) to not speak. By time made it to clinic nerves was frayed and wanted to barf on sonsultants shiny shoes. Good news is that AMH is not too bad( for an old doll like me) but his sample is still not great. So plan is ICSI if it doesnt improve (they retesting in few weeks) his sample tends to go up and down, even consultant is confused    but he has been taking all the vitimans Ive been throwing at him this last few months so you never know. Was just hoping for IVF again, altho I know ICSI works, Seem we are destined to have a go at all the treatments available!!  

Big news is that we starting this month. Had Af on mon. Next months Af would lead right into Christmas and altho clinic is open dont want that. Could wait for NY but hubby wants to go now and I know Id only drive myself demented waitig. So they squeezing us in and looking like 4th Nov for DR!! More terrified that excited now.

The only thing is have found out that have cousins hen nxt sat, nephews 18th on 10th and 2 wedding on 16 and 23(altho knew about them). cant miss hen (her mum and brother died last yearand its a cousins only hen) and the 18th party. So any advice on how to pretend to be having few but actually not would be gratefully recieved. usually drink white wine or vodka and cranberry and would be in thick of it so people will notice. We dont really want to tell anyone this time but am going to have to rope somebody into helping me fake drink  

Michael McIntyre was fab. Funniest man alive. Had lovely meal and few glasses so turned out grt night

Thanks for listening if any of ye are still reading and awake !!!  

Nonnie


----------



## sleepypenguin

Nonnie how exciting all that time waiting for an appointment and then it's a gogo. Re the drinking. I was convinced people would notice I wasn't drinking during the IVF and pre 12 week pg announcments but no one ever guessed (and I was a bit of a P**s head back in the day  ). Can you be the driver or on antibiotics or just have cranberry juice no one will know theres no voddy in there. Good luck for the coming weeks.

x


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi All,
Sasha is 8 weeks old today and I have been already thinking of more babies.. Do you think this is normal? Why I don't just enjoy my precious and forget the bloody treatment and having more.. Argh I am so p**ed with myself.
We are going to try our FET in Sep. We have 4 frozen ones waiting. I just cannot do any mroe fresh cycles this is it. And making me soooo sad that Sasha might be my last baby.. I hate this.. 
Love to you all.
Kukixx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi Kuki How is it going? I started this thread when DD was 3 months so yes it is normal. I keep telling myself over and over again that it's not just another baby but another toddler, teenager etc but the longing for a baby is still there. Enjoy DS it goes so fast second time round, and keep chatting.

xXx


----------



## strawbs

Kuki congratulations, your precious baby is here!  I know exactly what you mean.  I am currently still pregnant, I got fitted for bras today in preparation and the lady said  will you have anymore, I said no this is my last, just saying that made me feel sad.  This is my last pregnancy and I talk myself into that every single day.  I cannot imagine the longing ever really going.  I am tryingbto be practical, physically this has been tough, spd, miscarriage worries and now concerns over fluid.  I have been quite grumpy and stroppy with the boys as I am so tired.  But I know I would do it all again................  I just want to feel that my family is complete, but not sure I ever will. I get so cross with myself as I need to put this journey behind us and just enjoy my children as not long ago, I never thought I would have any.  I adore my children and need to move on.........

The ladies on here totally understand, it's not about not feeling blessed or grateful, just a natural longing for more babies.  Enjoy your baby though, it goes just too fast 

Strawbs x x x x


----------



## Ajax

Hi All


I'm back - did ya miss me??  


Had a lovely 2 weeks in Glasgow and London with the whole family (AKA brady bunch!) and still actually want to add to the brood despite the usual car arguments throughtout the journey!!


Kuki - Congrats on your precious bundle! I don't think it's ever too early for the longing to kick in!! Enjoy your baby for now - it really does go all too quick!


Strawbs - not long now for you! How are you feeling?


Klarka - Good luck for the FET - you are brave indeed (either that or you have REALLY well behaved twins!!).  My twins are 6 and only now do I feel able to consider more! hehe!  3 is classed as big? Oh dear, in that case I must be insane for wanting a MASSIVE family! IMO, if you want and can support more then it's aye-ok! xxx


Nonnie - How exciting that plans are full-steam ahead!! Out of interest, do you know what the AMH results were? Fingers crossed some more vitamin pill popping will sort out the DH's swimmers! Has he cut the caffeine out too? Glad you enjoyed Mr McIntyre (still totally jealous!).  


Well, I am glad to say that Nonnie will have a cycle partner too - how fab is that?! I am now happy we have decided to stay with the London Doctor.  We saw him when we were down and I had the most wonderful cervix dilation performed in readiness for ET.  Yes, I am being totally sarcastic - it was horrible but a necessary requirement so needs must.  How I have such a tight Cx after 3 bambino's I will never know - maybe I should be proud! Anyhows, have all our drugs home and it suddenly seems really really real! I have to take my D/reg jab on 5th November.  Its all different - last time I had to sniff for about 6 weeks - this time one jab, 7 days later AF will arrive and start stimmings a few days after.  Mind you, that one jab looks huge! My friend is a nurse and will do it for me but I think its the most worrying aspect for me - don't laugh here but....I have a needle phobia!! Ok, it is a bit funny - I can deal with the teeny stimming ones and use emla cream for canula's but the almight big boy for the IM jab is making me cack my pants!! 
So for now, I need to make sure house is ready for us leaving for 2 weeks, get food in freezer for return, pack kids suitcases for Grandma's house and have Crimbo all tied up! In the next 3 weeks! Oh do wish me luck - I am so going to need this! However, once we hit London next month, I have 2 weeks to chillax and be alone with hubby - oh and maybe a cheeky stop off at some outlets haha!!


Well, best go and get all the holiday clothes ironed and put away before school pick up is due!


Love and hugs to everyone xxx


----------



## Klarka

Hello ladies,
yes, traditional family here (Czech Republic) has sadly become two parents, two children. You still find families with more, usually three, rarely four children, but people usually look at you as if you were crazy. Well, I am! My girls are not as well behaved as I would like them to be, one of them has issues with sleeping and wakes up very often at night, leaving me very tired some days. It's almost as if my brain says I have enough on my plate as it is, but my heart wouldn't listen. And if I have learnt anything in my life, it¨s that you need to follow your heart, because when you do, other things will work out one way or another. 

FET booked. It is on! And I pray it will be the way it's meant to be.


----------



## Nonnie

Klara K, our hearts never lie. Best of luck wit hyour FET x


Ajax  Welcome back. we surely did miss you, I had no one to comapre my crazy with   

Had planning apt today. Start DR 4th Nov. Cannot believe you have needle phobia and have had treatment. I sit for at least an hour with the first one, but once get that over its never so bad. better than hubby coming at me like a vet with a bull   

My AMH is 13. Hubby going up on Thurs again to recheck and see how his swimmers are but am ok now if its isci as long as it works!! So when do you think you will have EC. I will hopefully be around first week Dec.

Glad you had nice time away. Will you be gone from home the whole two weeks during the actual treatment??. Were you staying.(sorry for being so nosy) I hope you will be FF accessible hehe cos its only starting to seem real to me now too, just as I was coming home toady with my wee bag of tricks and thinking of the dreaded early morning two hour each way trip to clinic for scans. Gulp

Havent even thought about Crimbo .Im hoping to get time off(or pull sickie) during and thinking I will do it at my leisure then. But you know what they say about het best laid plans.....

Hi strawb and SleepyP


Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Happy Halloween everyone!



Hey Nonnie


It is getting exciting and ever so terrifying isn't it?  Your AMH is great - mine is 5 and I am just hoping that this means squat and I still manage a decent number    of eggs but it plays heavily on my mind.  7 years ago when i was 26, i managed 8 which at the time I thought wasn't amazing given my youth but it obviously was following a pattern somewhere.  I can do very little about this except hope for the best!
As I said, I have my DR shot on the 5th so we can be totally crazed together although I feel a bit loopy now and haven't any drug to blame.  I keep swinging between hope and fear and it plays with my head big style. Yes, we will be away for the whole 2 weeks - not 100% sure which hotel we will stay in but I suspect it will be one of the Sheratons so there will be wifi for sure! Going to need that to keep me sane as DH is a little strict post ET - he insists on bed rest (was 6 days last time) and is convinced this got us the BFP last cycle so I have to pacify him.  OH bless him, it's sweet he puts so much thought into it really. I think you do need time off - I booked unpaid leave last time (almost the 6 weeks) to see me through stimming, 2 ww and post result time.  There is no way I could have worked throughout - hats off to those who do!


I got a new toy this week - a vax carpet washer! I now need to attempt to understand how it works and test it out.  With 3 children, a dog and a country home (read as mud everywhere!) I am excited to see how well a job it does in the hallway.  DH did suggest I had it as my Christmas present - I suggested he reconsider his suggestion    


I made carved pumpkin lanterns last night - they turned out pretty well but kitchen was covered in pumpkin seeds and mush thanks to the 6 year olds!  Am making white pizzas in ghost shapes and spooky cookies and gingerbread shapes for the little party they are "not" having this evening!!  Oh and Harry Potter cauldron cakes were attempted last night - the ideas were there but execution not so fab - luckily they tasted ok though  


Righty, off to get to grips with this washer


Love to all


----------



## Nonnie

Hey Ajax

Thats exactly how I feel swinging between excited and scared. Dont worry about number of eggs its all about the quantity. I had two week off after last time but still had eldest in the evening(sent him on to sitters during day) Dont know what its going to be like this time with the two but plan to work up until EC then off until 4/5 days after ET. Beds rest sounds lovely but hubby works some late shifts so will have the two boys in evening so not much rest!!! Your hubby sounds very thoughtful!!!

Yeah took the monster trick or treating last night. Rory came back with bag as big as himself. Had to take it off him or he wud of been high as a kite   
Cant wait now until Sunday. Hate that first jab and cant wit to get it over, will email Ive managed it. Worried a bit about headaches but hopefully be ok. You said you only having one jab? Do you not jab then until stimms. Is that a short protocol then??

Found fab acup and was back with her today. She really interested in fertility and worked alongside Zita West. Its great being with someone who knows all about it. Only one day left to work and then its weekend!!!

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Just popped on to see how Nonnie's first d/reg injection went?  Totally meant to come on last night to say Good luck but this weekend has just run away on me!
Having my **** jabbed at 1.30pm tomorrow - oh the joy!   My friend is a nurse so she's doing the IM one as hubby not getting near me with that huge needle!!!  Absolutely cacking my pants now - this is all going so quickly now and I just hope I can keep up with it all!


In response to whether I am on the short protocol, I must be honest, I have no idea. The doctor just said he doesn't use the spray for anyone anymore as this one off injection is just as effective and saves weeks of sniffing! All so different after 7 years - I try bot to question him and accept he does know his stuff!!


Hope everyone has had a good weekend.  Love to all


A xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hi Ajax

First jab was bit of disaster, hadnt needle on properly and it kindall leaked out the side Ooopps!. Got the hang of it very quickly tho, had no choice with two wee monster banging down the bedroom door! 

So far so good, but am really tires already(could also be the two afrorementioned monsters and busy job!!!)

So how is your poor wee   . Never really heard anyone getting one off jab, that sounds brill. Im sure doc knows what he is doing. Are you away from home and all now or whe nis that?

Was in bed last night at ten and its looking likely tonight too! fell asleeep midsentence last night to hubby!!! Acup said to get as much rest as possible so taking her at her word. 

Best wishes to all

Nonnie


----------



## sleepypenguin

Ajax and Nonnie how exciting that you have started Jib jabbing again Good luck both x


----------



## Ajax

Thanks Sleepy! How are you and your little people doing?


Nonnie - How are you hanging my lovely?  In theory that one off jab sounds fine doesn't it?! Oh how wrong you could be - it is great big pants. My **** still hurts 6 days on - I kid you not, it's painful when trying to turn at night in bed! I have been hit by side-effects from every angle you can think off.  I am a real cow right now - moody, angry, tearful, exhausted, achy,red flushing, anxious, dodgy stomach and quite frankly am damned fed up. Had I known it would be full on like this I would have refused it point blank.Also, lucky I live so far away from the Cons otherwise I'd be tempted to shove that needle....... On a better note - AF "should" pitch up in next 2/3 days and stimming a few days later so it has cut time scale down loads and once stimming begins I shouldn't be such a biatch! Poor DH indeed but he is a gem.  We are still in Scotland and my first scan will be done up here and we expect to head down to London around the 21st of the months and will be there for the duration.
Also had a wisdom tooth taken out Tuesday which was far too traumatic - short story, it broke and had 2 dentists hauling it out in the end. I felt brave at the time and thought it would be better out now that stressing over it but oh how I regret that now!


Sorry for the "moans r' us post - it's just been one of those weeks!!


Love to all


A xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax honey Im so glad to hear from you. Moan away cos your only going to have to listen to me now anyway  

Had rotten day yesterday. Wasnt doing too bad up to that but it all went pear shaped. 
Firstly got delivered news that its time to let the car go.    Im throwing good money after bad (what mechanic doesnt realise is I have no money left- spent it all on tx!
Secondly went to birthday party. Four year old has taken to huffing this last couple weeks(starting to wonder if he can feel my stress). he started before party even started and literally missed whole thing!! cake, party, games Closed himself in bedroom and wouldnt come out for anyone. Was soooooooo embarassed but left him to it cos if I had went in would have made things worse ( and would have made show of myself)  
Have had really dodgy stomach since wed. Thought it ws bug but thinks now it must be meds as going on too long. Feel sick and things bit runny ( sorry TMI) on and off.  

On top of that had nephews 18th last night and really, really didnt want to go but it actually turned out great and really enjoyed it, even though was sober. so feeling better today. Af due in next cuple days and like yourself hoping things improve then

WOW that must been some size needle. Feeling your pain from here. Hate the dentist    but not to make light of your story MMCIntyre told story quite similar and Im smiling even thing of it so thanks for that!!!

Hope  this week is better for you. Chat soon

Nonnie

xxx


----------



## Ajax

Oh goodness - what a nightmare with the car! We are kind of similar right now in that the DH's work "runaround" is probably over due it's retirement. It's going in for a service tomorrow but we have said if it's over x amount then we should scrap it.  Shame as although it's old and bashed up, it's such a fun little car to drive.  Hope you manage to get something sorted with your wheel situation.
Sorry to hear of DS's meltdown. Ive endured many myself and they never get easier but it sounds like you handled it just fine.  Presently, we have to deal with similar tantrums but thats just from me and the teenage daughter     
Oh I am glad my tooth story made you smile - am heading back to the dentist this afternoon as it's still really painful after 6 days(waking me at 3am this morning was the last straw!) and I am not keen on staying dosed to the max on paracetamol.  
I have all 3 children at home today thanks to school having in-service days today and tomorrow but it is a pants day weather wise so they're chilling out with movies for now. Hope the bliss lasts.  
The tummy issues sound like med induced to me - to be upbeat, it means the weight is staying stable   .  My initial tiredness has eased slightly so I think that helps with the moods slightly - not entirely, I am a walking advert for kleenex.  I seem to be taking what I can only describe as panicy type attacks where I just totally freak.  Really hope they do one soon as they scare me - totally over-whelm and make me someone I don't want to be.  How you are managing this journey with such small people at home I just do not know. I am lucky the teenager understands and the 6 year olds are easy going and at school most of the time. Hats off to you lady.
AF due this morning and nada to report so hey ho, we will wait with bated breath! Oh a happier note, my toosh in finally over that jab - whoop!!


Right, go on, moan to me, it will take my mind of my own issues....


Have a good day


A xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hey misus

I got over my moan y'day so thanks.

dont know how i mised your teenager!!! I was counting the twins as two and this would be third bubba. Teeager, twin terroars and new baby....hats of to you my lady  

Hope you got your tooth stauation sorted today. Things are bad enough without the rest of our body breaking down on us. Yeah thats the funny thing about treatement is that even tho having the runs   Im still eating choc   

Hope your car pulls thru. Im getting mine fixed to sell it on. I personally think this is awful things to do but dad, bro and hubby have taken over the situation and basically I have no say. They are really good but what they (apart from hubby) dont understand is my next purchase will depend very much on my luck or not over the next month. Obviously if thought my dreams will come tru would buy a seven seater but sure who knows. Worse than that my dad has decided I need to upgrde from 04 to 08/09. How im going to finance this is anyones guess but ive decided not to stress(too much). Il have to stal them until the NY. I was being all bright with myself and thinking I would push the boat out and go up as far as 05/06    Def not gettting renault again. Maybe Totya aensis or auris OR ford focus. Any suggestions hehe

Yeah I know its hard. Im not as tired as was and havent had any headaches so now worrying Im not DR properly!! We are never happy. AF due today but no sign, I have acup tomorrow so hope that will kick it off.

WHo woulda thought we would wait patiently on the withch!!!!!

Hang in, we are getting there
Nonnie
xxx


----------



## Ajax

The witch is in da' house!


Scan tomorrow then! Fandabbydosie!  Actually felt most "normal" yesterday for the first time in days - was such a relief I can tell you.  Feel semi ok today too.  Dentist worked her magic yesterday and pain is finally easing so all good in my hood for now.


Now I really need to amp the organization to pull off this road properly.  


How are you today? Has the witch found you yet? - I'll send her your way now!!


xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Glad things looking up for you. Yeah send the ***** opps I mean witch on hehe.    If she doesnt come soon Il be size of house, on the choc big time at the minute.

Seriously I do not know how you are managing geting organised to go away. I can headly get out to work these days. Take it easy and try not to stress. Good luck with scan tomorrow. Let me know how you get on sending you loads of     


Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Nonnie - has "she" arrived or are you indeed turning into a house?
Had the scan yesterday and given the good to go for stimming as of tomorrow morning. Oh joy(remember that needle phobia bit mixed with a DH who, I am sure is seeking revenge for my mood swings!)! The nurse up here locally who did the scan was really lovely and I almost wanted to swap there straight away, well for a minute anyway.  She was so supportive and friendly and made an embarrassing situation very easy.  I had an antral follicle count of 7 in total which she seemed quite "happy" with given the low amh and such but then this morning when I spoke to the consultant, all I got was "mmmm, yes you had far more follicles last time round". Well gee, thanks ever so for the encouraging words.  Actually if truth  be told he made me cry and cry after that call. I just think "what's the use then?".  Last time I had "far" more and got 8 eggs, 5 of which were mature, 3 of which made it to embryo's and 2 of which are in my house now! If I only get 3 this time.....well you can see the sums I have been doing!  Oh I feel ever so low about all of this now - might just go and have another cry to myself!


Hope things are better for everyone else


Love as always


A xxx


----------



## Samb1256

Hi Ajax, and all the other gals

I just wanted to say for my third IVF (second child) I had a very poor response and due to the fact that I had to travel they really wanted to abandon the process. I got three eggs, three embryos, three were put back in. one succeeded... She is now 18 months old. They really wanted me to give up though and I refused. Hang in there honey.

hi to everyone 
I am so sorry I haven't been in touch, I am terrified of jinxing after my last run of bad luck. I am now 11 weeks (nearly 12 weeks) pregnant. Baby is bigger for dates but I still have the big scan next week to see if everything is ok. it has been very tough these past three months, dreadful morning sickness, working away from the family, two crazy but beautiful children... but I am hanging in there. 

I hope you are all well. To Nonnie and Ajax, the very very best of luck over the next few months - isn't it lovely that you have each other to go through this with ? 

xxxx to all

Sam


----------



## jojo29

Yeah Samb, great news, all will be fine now hun, sick, big for days, sounds perfect to me...hope I can follow suit soon. 
Jojoxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Evening ladies

Samb B, So glad for you. Big baby andsickness sounds like the perfect healthy pregnancy x
Jojo hope all goes well for you

Ajax honey thanks for message. Had two sivk boys over weekend. Eldest had stomachbug and jnr had tonsilitis and ear infection. THey not so bad now again but was bit of a mad house. As for the crying know exactly how you feel. Sending you a big   

So went up today for baseline scan and anyone wanting to avoid a moan move on now..................

Scan went well, all looking good but he just recommended waiting to Fri to start Stim as still having period so was happy with that. Dh had gone up at start of Nov for repeat SA and they were supposed to send out results but didnt. So naturally I asked today and as afterthough he checked and things have not improved. I knew it wasnt great in Sept(DH sample goes up and down in fairness)and  consult said at that stage we might still make IVF just dpends on day. But today when he checked what the lab people put down this time was "difficlult ICSI". Now correct me if im wrong but thats hardly encouraging. So the consultant said "but sure we knew that" and left me with nurse.I managed to hold out a whole ten minutes before she realised something was up and I started crying. She then looked up results and said in Sept they consult had noted possible SSR?? or something like that. Never heard of it and I dont think she quite beleived me that he had not discussed it as it was in notes. Apparently if worse comes to worse can knock DH out and get tissue sample or something. She didnt really want to go into (and suppose its not her job) but put a note into tell him to discuss more next week at scan.

I have been devestated all day. Cried the two and half hours home, well back to work actually. Managed to pull myself together and to be honest was good as took my mind off things but looked like ****e!!!
I dont know wether to postphone to New year to see if things improve. His sample usually comes around but its not happening this time. Now maybe the consultatnt knows something I dont but last time my old consult encouraged us to wait out and SA did improve. However i also know it might not and I suppose there is a danger of it going alltogether so maybe we should batter on this time and hope for best. 

i just feel like they are determined to go ahead without discussing options(if any). Consult keeps going on about they can now freeze eggs if we get really stuck. But thats not what I want. I know this whole thing is luck/chance but i at least want to go in with some chance of at least getting to ET. Its all new staff in the place and while they may have thewhole running of the place in order I think they forgot teh lesson in human emotions.

Im really sorry but you girls are only people who really understanf how I feel. I know Im so lucky to have boys but I cant make longing go away. In fact this is why I swore last time I would never do this again. Its too damn hard. I know its partly hormonal and maybe good night sleep will help but any advuce you girls give would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Nonnie


----------



## Nonnie

Well I have stoppped   and pulled myself together. Think a good cry was needed.

Ajax Just wanted to pop on and wish you all the best for headng off tomorrow.  I dont know how you are managing. Fair play to you lady

Keep in touch. Im all mixed up now about my dates cos DR few dates extra but hopefully we will go bump to bump when this all over!

Nonnie
xxx


----------



## Ajax

Hi Ladies


Sam: Thanks for the kind encouragement! Good luck with the upcoming big scan but as the others have said big baby and sickness is all good! Xxx


Nonnie Hun, glad to hear your feeling more upbeat today. Sorry  you had to go through that crap. These doctors sometimes turn into machines and forget there are real humans attached to lady bits that actually have feelings! Grrrrr! On a positive note, if it was so dreadful they might have suggested not to continue so that hasn't happened so that must be a good sign!  Heck isn't icsi designed to be difficult? Isn't that why we pay so much? Difficult doesn't mean impossible so chin up and keep stabbing!


I think wears all packed and ready for the morning departure. I am hating the the thought of leaving my little and big ones but it's something we need to do. They are being so brave compared to me. My Mum is clearly a saint to   have them all for 2 weeks. It's been a military organization to plan but at least it made me slightly more organised. Have first scan since starting stimming


----------



## Ajax

Sorry, iPad being a pain in the butt! 
So have first stimming scan on Friday afternoon. Can't guess what it will say. DH doing a good job of stabbing me but that stuff stings like nobodies business. The needle, I can deal with but the liquid-ouch!!
Sorry the little people have been sick- nothing worse especially when they are so small. Hope they're still feeling much better today and you stay healthy!
Right must switch off now as having an early start. Love to all, A xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

Sending you loads of    for scan tomorrow. have totally forgot the lingo for this bit but I think im supposed to wish that your follies are big and juicy hehe    

We at wedding tomorrow. Werent gona bother but its his work so no one will quiz us about not drinking and think we need a wee day on our own. No fertility talk.  SIL having boys so we gona sneak home early jump into bed and have at least 12 hrs uninterrupted sleep...hopefully

Grow follie grow

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Omg! Just a quick post to update after the scan. The doctor was quite amazed at my response. I have 8 on one side and around 5 or maybe more on the other! Was so relieved I could have cried! Was so worried given the low amh. Doctor was visibly impressed. Ec scheduled for wed after scan on Monday. Wow one step closer!

How goes it with you?

A xxx


----------



## Nonnie

WOW

Thats brill. Congrats. Keep growing Follies   

Had good time t wedding. Apart from shooting up in lou    Shees forgot that teh old menopur is sore going in. Feeling lots more positive. Up again on Thursday for stiming scan and hopefully better apt with consult.

Really pleased for you. Hope you are enjoyng time out and not missing kiddies. We sneaked home and were in bed last night at 12, woke up at normal timeof seven and had breakie ain bed and then slept for few hrs more before getting boys. Bliss hehe.

Best of luck for scan on Mon     

Nonnie


----------



## sleepypenguin

Ajax Can't believe you are at EC already doesn't sem 2 minutes since you were thinking of having another go.

Nonnie Glad you are sounding more positive adn you got a rest last night

Samb Huge congratulations   for your scan I take it it was a natural pg again. 

Nothing much to report here 2 poorly little people have made nights exhausting but I have the week off work now and am looking forward to their 1 1/2 days at nursery   . Hope you are surving the weather lots of flooding and wind damage down here luckily not affecting us at the moment.

Hope theres more good news on here soon.

x


----------



## Nonnie

Sleepy Sorry to hear your little people not well. Hadthat last weekend and its exhausting!! Glad you getting week off. Have no crimbo shopping done yet so thinking of tkaing days off over next while nad geting sorted.

Ajax how was scan today??

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

SP- sorry the little ones have been sick. There's just nothing worse when they are so little. 
Yes, time is really flying!

Nonnie- glad to hear you had a fun time at the wedding. Well done for shooting up in the loo! You are super woman I suspect. I shouldnt be admitting this but I need to be fully flat lying down before DH gets near me! I feel faint at the sight of that tiny needle coming at me!! Such a Woose I am! Anyways, I'm done jabbing until EC tomorrow at 10.30am but I have copious amounts of Emla for cannula . Scan yesterday was all good and Cons still visibly delighted so am guessing that's good. There's about 10 on right singe didn't really bother measuring the left!! He was quite funny yesterday - I asked which side I should use for Emla (he knows my needle phobia from years ago) to which he replied"for you, I'd put it on both hands and maybe a foot too!" Followed by DH and him rolling eyes at each other!! Nothing like supportive partners. We are still ongoing with our 1 verses 2 replacement but because I do t know if any follicles contain and eggs (could happen hey) and I don't know if any will actually fertilise, I am just going to take it one day at a time! Same goes for day 3 or 5 transfer although if it is a day 3 I will not be popular as I need sedation for ET and they don't have anaesthetic coverage on weekends but cons says to not worry and he will insist on getting someone in for me. He actually was fantastic yesterday reassuring me. This is why I stay with him because when it gets down to the wire I trust him totally. Just having horrible anxiety right now. He says it could be drug related or the fact I'm away from the kids. I hate feeling like this- just can't settle- clock watching constantly and can't even sit in a restaurant for dinner without getting antsy. Poor poor DH!

Those menopurs are nasty- you have my full sympathy. I found warming the area with a water bootle helped a little but it still stings. When is your first monitoring scan? Are you feeling ok otherwise?

Lots of love 

Xxxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hey Ajax

Glad to hear things looking so good. He is prob so impressed with your right side he not even going to bother left hehe. Will be thinking of you tomorrow. If you get time and feel up to it later make sure and pop on to let us know how many you got. Keep growing wee eggs     

You are so lucky getting drug free day. Cant wait. have had permanent sore head since last week and am actually starting to get used to it. Trying to lay off painkillers.

Up on Thurs again for stiming scan. Feeling bit nigley already so hoping thats good sign. Cant wait but also nervous ablout seeing consul again after last weeks meltdown .My reflex read me riot act and talked me up to being very assertive when I go back but know as soon as im in seat  Ill be like yes doctor no doctor. It not like lying with your feet in stirrups is the most assertive position in the world.  
i just want him to chat to me the way the other guy did. wee bit of honesty, care and  explanation goes a long way!!!

So excited for you. I agree its prob being away from family and everything making you nevous. Try and stay as relaxed as poss and think you are right not to worry about whether day 3 or 5! I assume you need anthe due to your needle phobia. You wuss    take it on the chin like us other girls hehe

Best of luck honey

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Guess who's nervous and awake far too early? Grrrr. 

No I don't need the anthe for ET because of needle phobia but because I have an awkward body. Despite my best efforts, everytime he tries a dummy ET it is impossible so we go through a hysteroscopy or in this case a dilation which shows absolutely nothing wrong with the cervical canal. So basically the diagnosis comes Down to my body being too nervous that it closes itself down. However with sedation it's straight forward and easy. I was so upset about it the first time we did it but if it makes for a trauma free transfer then so be it although it was never my idea. 

Gosh, I hope Thursday a, goes well scan wise and b, the consultant is a little more personable. If all else fails maybe burst out crying in front of him?!?!?! These men so don't always get in right on a personal level. Fingers crossed. 

Right will go an attempt another half hour snooze but I suspect I'll be lying looking at the ceiling. 

Have a good day all

A xxx


----------



## Ajax

11! 3 more than 7 years ago with a dodgy amh! I'll take that thanks very muchly! 

Feeling very emotional, very sore so going to have a lazy bed day now!

Now the angst of waiting starts all over again.....


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

         

You go girl!! thats a great start my lady well done.  Yeah you get through one stage and just start worrying about the next!!!

Really hoping your bits get jiggy in the lab tonight    and you get really positive first call tomorrow.

Hope you had nice lazy day and are feeling bit better

Will let you know how I get on (keep your fingers crossed for my follies and that me and cons get on ok, may resort to tears   )

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Good luck for today Nonnie. Got everything crossed for you love. 
Hopefully your doctor will be a bit more personable to you this time. 

Feeling better than expected this morning. Sporting a lovely bloated stomach but hey it was never a washboard anyways!! 

Will pop on later to hear your news xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hey Ajax

Much better visit today. Cons took time and chatted so feeling much better about things. All going fairly well, Lining getting nice and thick, more acton on right side that left but 8 and 9 Follicles respectively. Up again on Mon and he thinks that will prob get trigger Mon night whcih would leave EC wed!!!!!!! panic

How is your lovley wee embies gettng on. Sending them lots of   

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Oh I am so glad to hear you had such a positive appointment! Well done you - Grow follies, grow!    


We have 6 eggs that fertilised and will await updates of their condition tomorrow before deciding on day 3 or blast transfer - tis all so confusing!


xxxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Ajax 6 is great well done   for the coming days/weeks hope your not too sore from ec.

Nonnie     For a lovely Christmas present.

xXx


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies

Sleepypenguin, thanks for all ou support. How are things with you. have you done any christmas shopping. I have to admit i havent thing bought and starting to panic slightly!! Hoping to start his week

Ajax the secrect six, thats great honey    So did you make it to day 3 or 5? Hope all is going ok     

Feel very nigley and bloated today. I suppose some is good as it points to things going on in there but you know us hormonal ladies Im already starting to worry about over stim    should I lay off water bottle?? We are never happy hehe.Cant wait to mon for hopefully final scan and trigger


Wishing you all lovely weekend

Nonnnie


----------



## Ajax

Hiya

SP- thanks for your wishes - am feeling pretty peachy now compared to Thursday!

Nonnie- niggles are good! If dr thought there would be even the slightest chance of you over stimming he would have mentioned it so keep the water bottle and the water drinking going! 
All 6 were surviving when the lab called again yesterday and said all 6 were beautiful so they advised going to blast. I am so anxious!! They were supposed to call today just to reassure me but haven't heard yet so who knows. I keep telling myself we only need the one!!!
Just have terrible thoughts if all perishing....

Right am off to have a nice yummy (read as fattening!) lunch. 

Rest up Nonnie and keep those beauties growing!!

A xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

Thats such fab news. Six beauties. All the research point to balst being more successful so lets not be having any negative thoughts. Sounds like you will get some frosties too then   

Yeah have ben drinking tons of water today and running to loo steady. Just about to put waterbottle on as think I will ell nice and cosy if nothing else

I think that means you will have ET Mon?? Ill be up at clinic hopefully hearing that I can take trigger.

Hope the clinic calls to reassure you tomorrow   

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Oh Nonnie, I agree it is fantastic news indeed! The clinic hadn't called by 4pm so DH called them! All 6 are now good 8 cell beauties! I am so shocked. It was or 8 cell and one 7 cell u had replaced resulting in my darling munchkins. I never in my head imagined having this many at this stage- last time it was only 3 still in the game. 
I now have to decide on one or two being replaced. Seems easy in the surface- go for one given the twin already but to us it's tough. I adore my twins- I love their bond, I love the double happiness I have had from them and we have been super blessed in that I carried them until 36 weeks, they had no health issues and were easier work than the first single child(prob because I was far stricter!). I know it could be so different a 2nd time around but if I only opt for 1 and it doesn't work I will be forever sorry about my decision. 
We said travelling down in the car if we had more than 3 embies, we would go for 1 and fall back on others a a FET if needed. But now we are so confused. I know some me see us as mad but we've always said if we could afford more we wanted a big family and given DH was told he wouldn't survive never mind have children I'd say we are doing ok   My bigger concern having 2 put back is if they both split- I kind o draw the line at twins- anymore would just be far too risky for all concerned. 
I would be so interested in knowing if 2 blasts are more at risk of splitting than say day 3 and if so by what percentage. 
Maybe Monday will dictate itself and our choices made for us- that would be refreshing! Urgh!

Always something to moan about hey!!

Everything crosses for you for Monday!

Xxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Awww Ajax the 1 or 2 debate I remember well from our ICSI, we were even playing monopoly and used the dice to help decide   our decision was made when there was only 1 viable 4 cell emby (which is now a 34month old monkey). My concern was both embies splitting and resulting in quads can you freeze the 'spares'?

Good luck tomorrow what will be will be.


----------



## Ajax

Well- am currently on route to clinic for ET an still not a scooby doo about what we should do. The poor embryologist is going to have a million questions to answer with about 10 minutes in which to do so. I'm tempted to ask the clinic to toss a coin, knock me out and tell me what they've decided after I wake up

Seriously ladies- you Gould have been in my dreams last night- felt exhausted on waking!

Nonnie, I hope all is going great for you!

Sleepy, thank you as always for your kind words. Hope the little ones are all better again. 

Mwah xxx


----------



## Ajax

Well I have one little embie on board. Turns out this one was leader of the pack with 2 others that may be ok for freezing tomorrow but they wouldn't commit. The other 3 although developing are slower. They have until tomorrow to hurry their sweet selves up!
In the end I went by what the consultant said as he's never let us down thus far so let's hope he keepS his track record. I feel very emotional. I'm scared if this one doesn't take and I end up with no frosties.....


Lets hope this munchkin is super strong........


----------



## sleepypenguin

Oooo PUPO   for the coming days hide the pee sticks quick   .

x


----------



## CK78

Hello all, its a long time since i have written on this thread but i thought i would update you all with our 'dare i even think of number 3' baby! Our scrummy boy arrived 8 weeks ago! It took us a long time after the miscarriage to decide to try again but it was definitely the right choice.
Good luck to you all.......... i hope you get the fabulous gift of number 3 too.       
xxxxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi CK I was wondering about you the other day congratulations on the burth of number 3 how is it all? Hope you have a fab big christmas. x


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies

Hope you are all well.

Ajax sorry I never got back on to assist you with your 1 v2 debate. sometimes I think its best when this decision is made for us. Congrats on being PUPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!      Stick wee embie stick

I had good news on Monday, Firstly it was a lady consultant who actually was there for while last time and helped give me my lovely wee jnr so was really pleased she is lovely and seeing her felt like a good sign. Secondly left side not doing much as ususal but right side had 8 or 9 big follies so no wonder im niggling. Const said womb linig looked lovely which is not a compliment you hear every day    so EC tomorrow

have been soo tired since weekend and fall asleep every time I sit down(hence not getting back on FF) Busy at work getting tidied up. Felt bit bad agreeing to do things over next while knowing full well wont be there hehe. Had to tell one of girls at work who has been helping me out and covering. She is also praying hard for me. Also had to tell SIL as just after leaving boys down we need to be up and away at half five tomorrow( Will not miss runs to clinic!! ). Ajax dont know how you mamaged to clear 2wks I had hard time arrangng for 1 day!! 

Are you back home now again then?? Hope you didnt miss kiddies too much 

Cant believe its really here .........................

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

CK- many congratulations on the birth of your little boy. Hope your all adjusting well xxx

SP- thanks for the  ! I don't have any pee sticks so ok for now on that front. Actually I haven't POAS since October 2005! Pretty impressive really!!

Nonnie- great news on your visit. So much love and bet wishes for tomorrow. Enjoy your drugs cocktails. I totally enjoyed mine way too much! Actually the EC cocktails was ferocious- truly remember very little of things even before he administered it even though I was still functioning at that point. Woke up both times mumbling a load of sheesh an balling my eyes out like a distraught 3 year old-  
I managed to clear the two weeks because we live at opposite ends of the country from clinic and just couldn't go anywhere else. Mix that with outstanding parents who are ever so glad we don't live in Asia anymore and are thrilled to be bringing up Grandchildren "Scottish" style and we have a winning result. Actually we asked them back in the summer if try would help out but had to delay timings as Dad hasn't been well all summer. 
My Mum is hopeless with tx and always makes inappropriate comments such as "it's like frankeinsteins lab" or "how clinical" but bless her she's trying. My Dad is fab, he has no clue what goes on so always just says "everything alright"? Haha. Bless them. 
Had good news today - we have 4 frosties- yay! We hopes for 2 but 2 others got there ass in hear and caught up with record speed. Embryologist was most shocked and excited! She also said this news was great for the one on board. 
Heading home on Thursday- DH making me rest and waiting on me hand and foot. I love that man! Sadly we are missing the snow that's gone a bit mad so m hoping it stays- its still a novelty for me!!

Loads of luck and   for the morning my lovely. Pop on and let me know when you can!!

Much love

A xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

CK congrats on you little man

Ajax
Great news bout frosties. Thats fab. You go girl, really impressive.

We had 17 eggs last time, only 9 fertilised and in end had 2 grade 2 put back in on day 3 with no frosties.

Got 12 eggs today. It was liitle complicated and they had to go in few times or something so got increased long lasting painkillers along with antiobiotics and sedation. DH produced good enough sample for ICSI and didnt have to go for retrival .he was really happy with this and was actually dancing around the cubicle while I was coming out of the sedation induced stupor. The only reason nothing was fired at his head was cos I couldnt get my limbs to co-ordinate. Love sedation, great stuff. Apparently had full scale conversation with anathes about allergice reactions which I remember nothing about.








So tucked up in bed as sore tum and praying they get jiggy in lab tonight. 









Also DH came up with good one today when he came back he predicted his sample would be ample. So a good quality SA should actually be AS(ample sample). Sorry for the crazy think Im not fully recovered yet









Will lwt you know when get call tomorrow. Hope you doing ok in 2ww

Nonnie
xxx


----------



## Ajax

FANTASTIC Nonnie - well done you - 12 is brilliant     


Lets hope AS(love it!) gets its groove on and we have lots of embies come tomorrow.


Hope you are not too sore (did you get the lovely rectal voltarol too?). Try arnica and a hot water bottle to speed it up.


lots of love


A xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies

having a downtown and duvet day. Off now for a week.

Well out of the 12 eggs 7 were mature and got call today to say 5 have fertilised. So far so good but this is were I panick as this is when my littles embies didnt do well last time So please God they are dividing and growing as we speak   

Will get call in mornig agan to see how they doing and Eceither B sat or Mon if we lucky enough to go to blast.

bit sore and bloated toady so thats worrying too but have started pessarys(front door hehe) already which was after ET last time and I know thay can cause this too.

Oh its all just so hard. remember now why I swore wouldnt do this again!!!!!

Heard bright eyes(song from cartoon with rabbits, cant rem name) earlier and not sure what ay to take it as always makes me emotional for some reason

Anyway nuff about me....

Ajax how are you holding up in 2ww     

Nonnie


----------



## Samb1256

wow so much happening on here!

Ajax congratulations on being pupo! Here's to praying for a great early Christmas present     

Nonnie - hope you are feeling ok. This for me was nearly the toughest time, waiting for teh ET, waiting to see how and if they made it to that stage. good luck for ET and the next few days, and actually the next few weeks while you are pupo     

CK - Can't believe it already - since I logged onto sleepypenguins 'dare I even think of number 3' I can't believe things have actually happened for people! Congratulations on the wonderful arrival of your baby boy! Wishing you all the very best for teh future.

So to fill you in, yes this is another natural pregnancy for me, but the first time I have made it this far (13 weeks) (the irony of it all) Had the scan last Friday and all is well so far. Baby looking great. I have started to tell people - for the past 3 months I dreaded the feeling of being terrified I was going to lose it ...I think I am now ready to update my signature.
Big kisses to all

S


----------



## Ajax

Congratulations Sam! How wonderful. I hope you can begin to enjoy your pregnancy a little more now. So happy for you Hun  


Nonnie- all fingers and toes crossed for those 5 little embies!  Yes that cyclogest is a nasty piece of work. Bloat and wind. No more needs to be mentioned. I started mine the night after EC although we were told to do the back door until after ET. No idea why really. Was told I could swap to front after and I did for a few times but couldn't stand the mess and chemical smell (way tmi sorry!) so reverted back (pardon the pun!). My sense of smell has been so sensitive since the hcg trigger. 
2ww dragging like mad. Don't feel too positive - was woken this morning with AF type pains which have been intermittent all day. But my face is breaking out in spots a per Pre-AF as well. I hate hate hate this waiting game. Never mind will be home to our munchkins tomorrow and hopefully tucked up in our own bed tomorrow night. 

Sending lots of   your way darling. 

A xxxxxx


----------



## Ajax

Oh and Nonnie the song Bright eyes was is from Watership Down!!!


----------



## sleepypenguin

Samb Fantastic news enjoy the next 6 months

Nonnie   everything is going as it should

Ajax Have a safe journey home

AFM I have been to Dr's due to worsening AF they are querying endometriosis (?sp) and suggested having a mirena coil, explained we were TTC so wouldn't be helpful. They recommended putting a time scale on things i.e. a year so there is an end in sight to the monthly problem. We had already said we would give it a year and then face up to no more as we don't want a big age gap, so that has made things clearer and we need to get jiggy with it a bit more   .

SP x


----------



## Nonnie

Samb glad all is goingwell with your little bubba x

Sleepy It a while hard desision to make to call it a day. You sound really positive and strong. Hope things improve and good luck with the jiggy   

Ajax Gald you getting home to your little people. I absoultely detest the 2ww. Swing from positive to negative within hours. Sending you lots of     

Well Out of my 5 it seems only 2 looking good. Embrologist is pleased with them tho so thats good. SO my two embies coming home to mama tomorrow. Just bit worried as still feel bloated/tender. Maybe should have used back door    Also wold liked frosties for back up but Ill take this to mean wont need back up!!!!!! stick wee embies stick

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Morning ladies!

Sleepy-   to you sweetie. All these decisions are difficult at every stage aren't they. Looking on the bright side - think of all the fun you and DH can fit into a year! Time to call in the babysitters 

Nonnie- hoping your 2 beauties are now on board the mothership without any drama. Welcome to the 2 weeks of craziness!   snuggle little embies!

Loving being home despite the snow and ice- DH had to dig a way into our driveway as car was acting like a Woose so it was a quick stop at our mechanic to have snow tyres fitted! Hoping to get the tree up today. DH has just take the little ones to swimming and then picking up the dog so it will be not al service mayhem again tonight. Love it!!

Loves to all


Xxxxx


----------



## Nonnie

hey ladies

well in true nonnie style the const couldnt fine me blooming womb opening(aparently a 9 15 tank son will do that   ) so it took a bit of pulling and a large insrument that resembeled tongs and seriously I mean MUCH larger    but my two wee six cell embiesare now (hopefully) snuggeling in tight.  

The good news is that feeling much more positive, sorry was bit of drag these last few days. This new PMA will prob only last to Mon at latest but sure Il enjoy it in meantime    Does anyone know roughly how long it takes to implant? Should know this but brain is mush. Trying not to do too much over next few days but its hard with 4 and 11/2 year old

Ajax glad you home safe. Gosh ye are having it bad with weather. Send me over some for Christmas. We usualy put tree up  this weekend but decor all up in attic and i nvr got chance to get them and wont be climbing ladders anytime soon (and my Dh hasnt got head for heights - he a woose like your car!! so it looks like we will be on our last legs this year. What date are you testing hun??

Off to watch X factor final - yeah I know Im sad 

Love to all

Nonnie


----------



## sleepypenguin

Nonnie       Glad the embies are making themselves at home. Who one X factor?

Ajax I love the snow but we don't get a lot down here plus I prefer it when I'm not working as I drive a lot so a bit of a mare when it appears.

Xmas Decs going up next weekend but don't hold out much help for the tree with DD about.

Look after those embies girls

x


----------



## Nonnie

Sleepy

The final is tonight. Chris put out in semi final at last. james all the way!!!!!!

Am currently back on sofa again watching more Downtown. How come no-one told me Lady Sibyl died. I have spent last hour in tears   

Yeah think we will wait for next weekend for decorations. Good luck with keeping DD away ffrom tree. We will have same prob wiht DS/ Thinking of having barricade made....but he will probably dismantle that as well!!!

Nonie


----------



## Nonnie

Day 3
Personal record all Cristams cards written , Gee not finding time long at all.............................. NOT!   

Nonnie


----------



## Nonnie

DAy four  Fianlly left house and have donesome christmas shopping

Is there anyone there............................................. im going nuts  

Nonnie
xxx


----------



## Ajax

Sorry for going AWOL - just needed a wee breather as OTD nears!  

How are you feeling? Glad you've made a start on the crimbo presents. We were lucky and did most of it while away and DH has been wrapping the last few since we got back. Might need to get the cards done tomorrow!

AFM, am getting by on a wing and a prayer. Started spotting brown/light pink earlier this evening but no pain and its just a teeny but if brown now but my heart has been in my mouth all evening. Will test in the morning one day early I think to see whts going on. I've never experienced implantation bleeding so this has shook me up a bit to say the least!

Love to All

A xxx


----------



## strawbs

nonnie and ajax...good luck on your 2ww.  It's so draining!!

afm, our beautiful daughter arrived on sat, weighing 9lb7.  She is currently feeding most of the time, will not sleep in her crib, carrycot.  We are bed sharing as I need sleep!  also wondering how i will actually manage when i have a baby either feeding or sleeping on me!  Despite all  the anxieties it is lovely to have a new baby again.  Maybe we are complete now?!  after all

strawbs x x


----------



## sleepypenguin

Congratulations Strawbs what a wonderfull start to the xmas season, she wasn't too big after all (probably felt it tho  ). Enjoy it tiredness and all.

Ajax any news??


----------



## Samb1256

congratulations Strawbs on the wonderful news!!! Enjoy the precious moments when they are so tiny, it is a fantastic time! 

SP -  sorry to hear youve heavy duty AF but hurray for the getting jiggy with it again!!! 

Nonnie and Ajax, my heartfelt hopes and wishes that everything is going well with you guys. I am thinking of you both xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax 
hun would tell you not to worry but I know its easier said that done. I bleed during both my preg, every colour bloood under sun. It really could be could be implantation, especially if no pain. Best of luck for tomorrow. Will be praying for you     

Strawbs Congrats on your beautiful little girl, The best Christams present ever   

Samb How are things with you. 

Sleepy did you get tree up yet?

Good to hear from you all. Wishing you all the best

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Strawbs - how wonderful. Congrats on your new little pink bundle of joy!

Well ladies- I am ever so grateful and honoured to have just looks like a BFP! Am in utter disbelief even after 7 tests! The lines are not dark like the control line but they are there and visible to the naked eye without squinting! Am just hoping and praying they will get stronger. 
Just can't believe we have been this lucky. I feel like the most spoiled girl this Christmas. 


Nonnie darling - how are you doing? Praying you will be holding my hand through the pregnancy boards too!!!



Love to all


A xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

Thats just the most wonderful news. i am so delighted. Was praying and willing it to be positivefor you this am(was just listening to Zita West and sending you PMA hehe)

Congrats, congrats, congrats

       

Sending you and your littleun lots of     

Lots of Love
Nonnie
xxx


----------



## strawbs

Ajax, great news!! This is a lucky thread

Ninnies, fingers crossed for your special Christmas present too

Nipples are hanging off!!! A very needy and greedy little miss!

Strawbs x x


----------



## sleepypenguin

Well done Ajax fantastic news.

Strawbs little piggy she's making the best of your wonderful Mummy juice.

DD was crying this morning so DS tried to breastfeed her to cheer her up   .

x


----------



## strawbs

Nonnie I did not call you a ninnie,spell correct!

Strawbs x


----------



## Ajax

Thanks ladies. Am just feeling a bit wary as these lines don't appear to be getting stronger and I've been advised to stay in 2 cyclogests a day instead of dropping back to one. 
Actually spent the morning quite hysterical after this mornings per stick looking slightly fainter than yesterday but DH says its exactly the same and I can't help feeling it should be darker now. I'm more together now and just going to take each day as its given to me. 

Nonnie (or as we call you now, Ninnie  ) how are you feeling my friend? Hope your getting some rest. 


A xxxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hi ladies 

Ninnie not feeling too great today. DS up all night with dodgy tummy poor we soul. DH has meeting Tus re future and possible redundencies and have some blood on wiping on and off since yesterday. Not huge amount - if your squemish look away noy - its red but stringy and mixed up with mucus- sorry tmi!  Also havewicked flu - every bone in my body aches

Have sore boobs but know pessary can cause this. Had lower back pain this am but gone now. Some twinges in tummy but nothing serious. Cant cope with not knowing. Going to test early but not sure whats a good time. If EC 5th and ET 8th when is AF due? Will never hold out till 21st(clinic said 18 days). Plese help

Ajax honey hope those lines getting darker. Say a prayer for your cycle buddy

Nonnie


----------



## Ajax

Oh Ninnie(it's gonna stick ya know!). You poor thing. Poor DS too- my little DD was off school Thursday puking too. Tis not nice. Hope he's feeling a bit better today. And flu for you? Talk about being selfish!! You signs symptoms sound promising - I had spotting when wiping at 12 DPo which I have never had in 2 previous pregnancies and it freaked me out big time!  I had lower back pains from about day 8/9dpo and lots of intermittent AF pains. My official test date has always been 15 day after egg collection. 18 days seems torturous but having said that I'm day 17 today and finally 2nd line in test looks pretty solid (phew!) so maybe it gives you a better answer waiting after all! Your AF should be due around 19th dec but hopefully you don't need to worry about that! Tesco pee sticks gave me a very feint positive at 11 days post egg collection which is finally darkening but it was so feint it made me uncertain. Better than spending a fortune if your keen!
If truth be told I don't believe it now but we are booked for scan on 4th January. 

Of course I am praying for you my lovely-  . 

Hope you all feel better tomorrow. 

Lots of love

A xxxxxx


----------



## Samb1256

wow Congratulations Ajax!! What great news! this thread is lucky ! praying the line gets darker and darker.
Nonnie, dont worry yet honey (I know easier said than done) Testing early could potentially cause unnecessary stress. Am praying for you honey xxx Passing lucky thread vibes to you.
xxx
s


----------



## Nonnie

My two wee embies couldnt stay and have flown up to heaven.

Ajax  Iwish you every luck in world. Hope your little one grows big and strong. Il pop back in new year to hear about scan but need some time out right now

A very happy Chistmas to you all and may evryone get thier wish for 2013

Love

Ninnie
xxx


----------



## sleepypenguin

Nonnie     So sorry to hear this please be kind to yourself. 

xXx


----------



## Ajax

Oh Nonnie - I am ever so sorry my darling. I am gutted for you, I truly am.      


As SP says, please be kind to yourself and take time to recover in all ways. You are in my thoughts hun.


Everyone is here waiting to help you when you feel ready.


Lots of love


A xxxx


----------



## Samb1256

Oh Nonnie I am so so sorry hon. Mind yourself. Take as much time as you need.       I do hope you hae a lovely Christmas and I wish you all the very very best for the New Year. 

Happy Christmas to everyone actually..  

May 2013 be a great year for everyone.

xx


----------



## Ajax

Just popped on wish you all a very Merry Christmas!


Nonnie - am still thinking of you my lovely - am hoping those lovely boys are getting you through this     




Love to all


A xxxxx


----------



## strawbs

nonnie, sorry to hear your news

happy Christmas to one and all!!!!

strawbs x x x


----------



## Nonnie

Happy new year ladies

Thank you for the well wishes. My two gorgeous wee men got me through. I guess our luck hadto run out atsome time but still feel so blessed that we got our boys first. 

Hope you all had a lovley christmas.

Ajax honey how goes it. When is the scan?? best of luck for it.

Love to you all

Ninnie


----------



## Ajax

Happy New Year to you too Ninnie!! And everyone else too!

I've been thinking about you loads throughout the festive period and didn't like to write much on here as just felt so bad for you  

So glad your boys are helping you through and I hope Christmas went as well as it could and was special in its own way. 

Scan was today. One strong heartbeat and measuring bang on in the right place. Really couldn't ask for more. I am finding this much more emotionally draining that ever. I feel so guilty when I walk into the clinic knowing so many aren't half as lucky and I worry day and night something will go wrong. Never felt like this before!

Hope everyone else is doing well! 

Love to all

Xxxxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Ajax

Dont even think about feeling guilty. What is meant to be will be and Its always Gods plan, so just relax and enjoy every second of your wee miracle

Lots of love and   

Nonnie


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hello all 

Happy New Year hope all the LO enjoyed the festivities (sp).

We are now ttc but trying so hard not to get my hopes up, although with an asthmatic toddler and teething 15 mo at the mo think we must be mad   .

How is everyone? Nonnie hope you are ok.

xXx


----------



## strawbs

sleepy good luck with ttc, have you got  a cbfm?  I loved mine, it's biggest fan!

How are we all?  currently snowed in!  Ajax and samb, all ok?

this thread is quiet........Ninnie hope you are ok?

Baby M is now nearly 6wks, after a hairy start, bad reaction from ds2, we are settling down nicely.  I cant believe she is nearly 6weeks and this morning whilst i was feeding I was doing silly calculations in my head of how long left for her in my room(bed actually), until I wean her etc.  i feel sad she is our last but I know I cant have another pregnancy.  too many losses, too much stress!  I will treasure every moment of her!  Makes me want to cry that i cant keep her tiny for a bit longer (well she is far from tiny, already in 3-6m for some clothes!)

strawbs x x


----------



## Nonnie

Hey ladies

Hope you are all well. Thought  I was getting over things until took period this weekend and was a pure mess. BUT have finally pulled myself together and have sneaked back on here cos lets face it we are addicted. 

Sorry what is CBFm

Strabs I know how you feel. DS2 is year and half and wee scamp is back in my bed as teething bad at mo. Also cause he may very well be my last and I intend to enjoy him so the two finger salute to all the professionals who tell us its wrong hehe. Enjoy every minute of your wee bundle.

Ajax honey. I hope all is well with you. Do you beleive it yet?? Sending you lots of    and hugs

New year resoultion of getting fit/loosing weight not going according to plan. Will start when period pver ...honestly  

hello to all you other ladies


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi all

Nonnie  AF is always so much worse when TTC it's just another kick in the teeth. I think CBFM is clear blue fertility monitoe as in ovulation detector. Ive never had one but tempted.



strawbs said:


> i feel sad she is our last but I know I cant have another pregnancy. too many losses, too much stress! I will treasure every moment of her! Makes me want to cry that i cant keep her tiny for a bit longer (well she is far from tiny, already in 3-6m for some clothes!)


Strawbs you have confirmed my fears that I will still have a longing for more even after number 3  . What happened with ds2? was not impressed with the new addition? DD is 16 months and still in 3-6 dresses  . Enjoy every second with DD.

Ajax how are you hope all going well

DS was 3 at the weekend how did that happen?

Love to all

x


----------



## strawbs

Yes clear blue fertility monitor, fabulous bit of kit....... Had 4 pregnancies with it, did m/c 3 but that's my pcos & immunes.  ( i conceived ds2 immediately after the m/c i had from my first cbfm pregnancy )I struggled to get pg for many many years, wish I had known about this then.

Sleepy......yes sadly it is true for some, you can never have enough babies......just a shame they grow up, because you can definitely have enough teenagers!!!! (I work with them)

Snow, snow go away!

Strawbs x


----------



## jojo29

Hello ladies,
Congrats to those BFPs and those who have delivered (strawbs) .. Just got a bfp this morning exactly 9 months since my last which sadly ended after a mmc diagnosed. Please all cross everything  for us!!
Jojox


----------



## sleepypenguin

Jojo Congratulations   for the coming weeks and months x


----------



## strawbs

Jojo congratulations, hope it works out for you!!

Lucky thread continues

Strawbs x


----------



## Ajax

Hi everyone

Congratulations Jojo- fantastic news. Everything crossed for you x

Nonnie darling- thoughts with you. How are your lovely little boys doing? Big hugs xxx

SP- good luck with getting jiggy with it and hats off to you working around the little people  

Strawbs- hope time slows down so you can enjoy baby for longer. Glad to hear she is settling In nicely and big bro is adjusting!

Well it's been a long drawn out process since we got our BFP- I wish it would fast forward a little bit! I booked a 2nd private scan last week as I started spotting again and symptoms kind of stopped. All was fine thank goodness and pea was bouncing around a few times. Have 12 week scan on 6th Feb so that's the next milestone. It's been a trying week all round- I am lucky in not being physically sick but feel nauseous constantly morning noon and night along with extreme exhaustion makes for a very emotional and grumpy me! Thankfully my Mum ha taken pity on me a few times and been feeding us all as I can't stand my kitchen smell! I am ever so thankful to be in this position but will be ever so much happier when it hopefully passes!

We had 3 snow days off school this week which was lovely but poor DD's, both of them were fluey so couldn't get out on the sledges with DS - we've another load dropping on us tonight too!!

Stay warm And love to all

Xxxx


----------



## jojo29

Thanks everyone, had a scare on Friday when in the evening I had a lot of pain then went to the loo and had a pink brown mess happening, not like AF but not pleasant .. Thankfully not had any since. Took another clear blue today and it said pregnant 2-3 which is bang on as I ovulated 16 days ago.  I just need to get to 6 weeks so I can get a scan done, only 10 days to go...
Jojox


----------



## Caddy

So so pleased for you, JoJo. Wonderful news.

Love to all.
Caddy xxxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hello ladies

Jojo fabulous news. Congrats    

Ajax honey glad that all is going well.    for you How did scan go?. Its always grt to get that over with.

Strawbs Time just gets faster with each one, my baby boys new word is eee  oooo ( wee show as in tv for those of you who dont get it hehe)

Sleepy Penguin I hope you are enjoying getting jiggy with himself. I will say its nice to jump into bed without the pressure. Not sure fertiltiy monitor help us. DH sperm is bit immobile among other things so I kinda thnk it will never happen naturally ( it hasnt in nearly 9 years) but maybe thats just me being pessamistic,

We still in talks about where we going (or not). I was actually crunching the numbers to see if could magic up some money somewere. We may be entitled to free tratment after all but if it does happen will be next year and I just cant wait. 

Was doing better again until 2wks ago when not one but two of my very closest friend announced their pregnancies in the same week. They didn know about our cycle which i am now grateful for as it would have been awkward and I love these girls and they have always been supportive of my journey and wouldve been if I had said this time. Its just so ironic cos one of the reasons I didnt tell them was just once I wanted to surprise them but the surprise was on me. I handeled the first not too bad as she had mis last year and I supppose it was inevitable at some stage this year but the second just blew me out of water as they had been having some difficulties last year in thet marraige and I jsut wasnt expecting it. They are only a few weeks apart and due about a month before mayb I would be if things were different. I know shouldnt think like that but all I can see now is at a time when I will be wanting to hide I will have to slap on a smile and go into maternity unit and attend christenings. I know I will do it cos as said I love these girls and am really happy for them and there is no way in hell Il ever tell them now but the timing just sucks.

So girlies that is me. Thanks for listening and hope ye dont think I am terrible person for thinking like this. Good to get it out. Life goes on and thank god for my two wee monsters who are teh light of my life ( even tho thery have now started t owrestle and fight with each other !!!

Love to you all, Ajax and JoJo take it easy and look after yourselves and your precious wee cargo

Ninnie(rather like my new name)
xxx


----------



## donn1

hi all

have 2 sons from previous treatment, tried again twice with icsi but unsuccessful, now 44yrs old, this month think am going a bit barmy am hoping for a natural third time lucky, definately ovulated, did the deed, had a terrrible sharp shooting pain in ovaries on day 10 and had crmping, sore boobs, crabitness and clear discharge since then, am due my period in 2 days, also feel sick but this could be down to a heavy cold almost flu type illness with sore joints etc.  Any replies ould be greatly appreciated.
lindsay


----------



## Nonnie

hey ladies

just popped on to see how you all are and its a tad quiet. Hope everyone is well

Donn i hope you miracle happened

Ajax how is wee bump doing. thinking away on you and hope all is going well

All good here. finally stretch in eveinging and looking forward to getting out and about with my boys on bikes/walks etc

Ninnie


----------



## Ajax

Hello All


Ninnie my lovely - thanks so much for asking after us.  All ticking along thankfully - am just over 15 weeks now and should be feeling better but still having an ongoing battle with m/s but I know it is all worth it - just wish it would pee off and visit someone else    12 week scan was all good and our downs risk has been classed as low - phew! 
How are you and those lovely boys doing? have you been able to recrunch the figures with any luck? The whole funding issue sucks bigtime. We were never entitled to any as I had DD from a very brief "practice marriage". This seems unfair to me as DH never asked to have cancer twice - wouldn't mind but it was private healthcare that got him better and not the NHS so he didn't even get his monies worth there!  And now the Government are considering funding prisoners.......oh I better stop there!


SP - are you still locked in the bedroom?


Donn - any updates? Fingers crossed!


Jojo - how are things with you?


Strawbs - Hope all os well with you!


Hi to everyone else   


love to all xxx


----------



## jojo29

Hello ladies,
Well, I am still pregnant..10 weeks now, going for private scan next wed, I still feel awful so hoping all is ok.
Ajax, when did you start to feel better? I see you are still having bouts of m/s, have you had any normal days yet ? I M desperate to feel a normal day...
Any more bfp's?
When did everyone else ms go away ?
Jojox


----------



## Ajax

Hey Jojo


What a difference a week makes   So far, this week has been much better(  it stays that way!). I do get little bouts of m/s towards the end of the day but they are short lived and I have gone a whole week without a daytime nap so must be getting there! It left for a few days around 13 weeks, returned worse for another week and a bit and has hopefully sodded off now! I thought with a singleton it would have been easier but it is actually worse that when I had the twins   Go figure?! lol
Sorry to hear your feeling so rough still but your into double figures now so hopefully your on the home stretch too.  Be kind to yourself, it is hard going day in day out but of course, eyes on the prize!  Hope you have a lovely scan on Wednesday. Let us know how it goes.  


Hope everyone else is doing ok


Lots of love


A xxx


----------



## jojo29

Hi Ajax, thanks..is it still gone ? I am 12 weeks tomorrow based on scan last fri. Some days I am better, others awful. Today is not good, had to stay off work, normally morning is my best time but not last few days. Good news was nuchal scan was great and got a good nosey at bub and heard heart, 160bpm, perfect! Swelling by the day..just want to feel human and be happy, ms makes me feel quite low :-(. 
Hello to everyone else, v quiet on here these days..
Jojox


----------



## Samb1256

Congratulations Jojo!!! That is fantastic news. 

Hi to everyone.

Sorry I haven't been on for ages.

I'm 29 weeks now ... all going well although baby a bit on the small side but ok. 

Hope you are all well xxx


----------



## strawbs

samb......not long for you now!  bloody hard work the lastg few weeks where you have no chance to be self indulgent!

JoJO and ajax, hope you are well and growing nicely

nonnie, hope you are ok 


sleepy...how are you?

I am loving my precious baby at the moment, this is def one of my favourite ages 3-6m, still tiny but substantial.  Baby needs to start on solids really although she is only 16weeks, such a big baby she is bursting out of 6m clothes.  I will breastfeed her for a year though.  I am really sorry to say tha I would love another, I feel panic stricken that this is my last baby, DH is 100% sure no more, i need to get a grip.  I am getting older have 3 amazing children, do not have good pregnancies have loads of misc and just need to be so thankful and move on.......any suggestions?  may be I need to have counselling? most of my adult life has centred around getting preg, staying preg and having a healthy child (luckily now 3), I feel ridiculous even posting this, but not sure where else I can post..... I remember reading posts from people on here who already had 1 baby and i was so desperate for one and thinking, gosh why are you even posting, you shoudl be so grateful.

Happy easter ladies, we have 19  easter eggs to get through and Iam 2 stone overweight!!!!

strawbs xxx


----------



## jojo29

Hi ladies, how is everyone ? 
I'm nearly human now, hoping the heavy head and remaining evening nausea will clear off very soon but definitely feeling better, I'm 17+2!!! it's all starting to feel real now..
Strawbs I too love that stage, the first 3 months are tough and it so I am glad to get past that. 
Samba, nearly there !!
Hi to everyone
Jojox


----------



## cutelittlepumpkin

Hi, 


Can I join?


I have four beautiful babies due to tx ISCI and FET, and still I am broody! And my older kids ask when will we have more babies? My eldest (twin) boy has put in his order!!!! He would like a brother and sister for his birthday!!!    (all babies apparently need to be born with their "friend" LOL well it is the norm in this house   )


CLP


----------



## strawbs

Hi cutelittlepumpkin!  Maybe we should start a new thread, should I get a grip?!!

Welcome.  This has been an incredibly lucky thread actually and is nice and reassuring to meet others who are constantly broody, despite having children!

2 sets of twins, hats off to you!

Strawbs x x


----------



## sleepypenguin

Hi all

Long time no speak, lovely to see all the tickers with the pregnancy's progressing.

cutelittlepumpkin Hi and welcome.

No luck here but DD is being a pain in the butt at the moment so I do still wonder how I would cope with another one. the deadline of September is fast aproaching but can always be extended  .

Love to all

x


----------



## cutelittlepumpkin

Thanks for the welcomes! 


I tried to 'cure' my broodiness by training as a MW, LOL, thought if I saw the pain and gore day in, day out, it might put me off, not at all, now I just a broody newly qualified MW   


CLP


----------



## cruicky2

Hello Ladies, 

I have just come across this thread and am really hoping you won't mind me joining? I am desperate to chat with people who will be able to understand me... 
We were blessed with triplets who were born last year and are all, after a difficult start particularly for one of our beautiful daughters, healthy and well. 
We would love to have another baby though, and need to go about it relatively quickly given my age. 
I haven't dared join any of the other threads cos people will probably think we are plain greedy wanting another child after such a miracle.
And I don't feel I could expect much understanding if our attempt doesn't work. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't want to take the risk and maybe make some less fortunate ladies feel even worse than they already do, just by being on the forum. 
So, when I saw this thread I thought I might find some ladies in similar situations? 
I haven't had the time to read though the posts yet, as I have just stumbled across the page, but hopefully will find the time to do so next week when I am in the clinic after my foot operation on Monday! 
Love, 
C xxx


----------



## Samb1256

welcome cutelittlepumpkin and cruicky2. this is a great thread - actually it is notoriously lucky thread and where you can be completely honest about wishing for more because I think we can all understand how difficult it is for those who havent been so lucky with even been blessed with one. That is why it is sometimes better to be on thsi thread so we are not upsetting anyone else. Everyone here has struggled with the idea of having more and feeling guilty with the notion that we should just be grateful for what we have, but none of us ever imagined to be in this place in the first place so we need a forum to express how we feel. 
What is strange on this lucky thread is the number of natural pregnancies oddly enough that have occured. 

I have 5 weeks to go and am feeling enormous. It isn't easy with a just turned 2 and just turned 4 year olds but on the other hand I wouldnt have wished it any other way.  I cant imagine what it is like with 2x 4year olds and 2x 2 year olds Cruicky. crazy and wonderful I'd say!!! 

Strawbs -how's life with 3?
Jojo - hope your mornign sickness has eased a bit. 
Sleepypenguin - good to see you are still coming on to the thread and haven't given up on the no.3 idea yet!!
xxx to everyone else who pops in


----------



## Samb1256

sorry I meant to say cutelittlepumpkin with the 4 bunnies  - mind you triplets is equally amazing I would never manage 3 at the same time!!!


----------



## Ajax

Hi all   


Just popped past to check on how everyone was getting on?


Welcome CLP and Cruicky! CLP - bet you a lovely (even if you are broody!) newly qualified MW    @ sets of twins must be amazing if not hard work but I am quite envious      Yup, am totally mad too!


Samb - are you still holding onto that baby?


Nonnie - how are you my darlin? Those boys keeping you on your toes I bet!!


SP - Sorry theres no "luck" yet but well done for trying!! With little people that is a triumph in itself    Glad the deadline goal posts can be shifted!!


Strawbs - I don't think your mad......what does that make me!!


Jojo - how are you feeling now hun? All better I hope!


AFM, we are 27 and a half weeks now and totally looking it (and more!).  Have felt loads better these last few weeks but I do seem to complain and moan lots this time around.  I thought after a twin pregnancy that this singleton would be a total walk in the park - how wrong was i!! All worth it all the same.  I went into our local chemist this morning to buy face masks for my teenagers sleep over tomorrow night and it just happened that I knew the lady behind the counter (its a small town!) and she asked if my name was such and such. I said yes and she said "Oh we have a prescription here for you from february"....I was like " erm, what for? Iv'e not been to GP since last year" and she said it was for a high dose of iron tablets as I was pretty anaemic. Well I did have to go back to surgery for repeats but surgery never contacted me and midwife told me all my bloods were fine.......Confused! I did feel really very crappy back in Feb for around 5-6 weeks and still struggled to sleep enough so it makes sense now.  I started myself on the Spatone supplements around the same time as I suspected something wasn't 100%.  But really.....send a prescription to the chemist for collection without telling me.....I know the NHS struggles but I didnt know we all had to be telepathic to save them call charges!! Will be having a few words with someone I suspect!! 
It's our twinnies 7th Birthday today and tomorrow we are having 10 7 year old's after school for a wee party and then 5 14 year old girls over night for the teenager who turned 14 last week.  It will be manic but after that - that's me done and dusted for a year! Phew! 


Hope everyone is well,


Talk soon


Love


A x


----------



## jojo29

Hi!
I'm 22+2 now..time is flying! Still having sick days, in fact most days..don't think it's going to go now.
Ajax, you'd think they would let u know about iron, odd one that one..i reckon we should have some bump pics what do you think Ajax / samb ? 
How are you doing strawbs, settling in to a routine now?
SP, keep going this thread is lucky.
Hi, newbies
Jojox


----------



## strawbs

Gosh samb, jojo and Ajax your preg are flying by!! I still can't believe this thread, amazing! Do any of you know what you are having?

Really not long samb until you meet your precious baby

Ninnie hope you are ok (auto correct done it again)

All going well here, baby is nearly 6m and I can't believe how quick it is going.  She's on 3 meals a day and will not take formula!! Still feeds loads during night.  Back to work at the end of June, half days for a month then 3 long days from jul. off on our hol on fri and dreading the flight with 3!!!  Loving having a baby again.  Been on strict diet and exercise plan and lost a stone in 6 weeks, 10more pounds to go!

Can't wait to see some baby news and names

Strawbs x x x


----------



## Bubblicious

Hello, I've read back a bit but not had time to go too far back.

Wishing all the pregnant ladies good health for the rest of their pregnancies.

I wrote here, a while back when DD was about four weeks old about my two frosties and whether I should use them.  DD is now 11 months old and I've been thinking more seriously about heading back to my clinic soon to discuss FET.  Is anyone else going to be starting treatment again soon?


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi Ladies

I hope you don't mind me joining you. We too have frosties that I think about everyday. After our second was born I was hoping and praying that the yearning for another baby would not return as the thought of feeling how I did before we got pregnant with our second petrified me. We were ttc for 3 years after 2 miscarriages until we were told we had severe male factor. This came as a shock as we were able to conceive our first and 2 losses naturally. We ended up having ICSI and were so lucky to be blessed with our second boy as well as having frosties. 

Just recently out of no where I started feeling broody again and along with feelings of guilt for wanting another is all getting quite overwhelming!  I keep beating myself up for feeling like it but its so strong. Then I have a fear of trying again as the thought of failure or success and then loss fills me with dread. So many mixed feelings! 

Wishing all pregnant ladies happy and healthy pregnancies. Lovely to hear of success and others going for a third. Xxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Can I join you too ladies.I am a lucky mummy of 2 lovely boys,youngest is 7 months and I'm starting to feel a bit sad that I probably wont be doing this again.We also have 3 frosties but hubby says no more unless it happens naturally .Not likely with a blocked tube and immune issues plus a baby who loves the boobies especially at night.We are going to see what happens and I must say I am in a much better place emotionally than 2 years ago when ttc no2 so really feel I will be fine if no more babies appear.Good luck to you all xx


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi San Francisco

My OH wants to try naturally as well. After all we went through before I'm not really hopefull of it happening. Like you I'm still breastfeeding and no sign of AF returning yet. I don't want to rush to give up BF though so I know the time isn't right for another  anyway, it's just I know the yearning is still there. Like you, it's not on the same scale as it was when ttc number 2 but I wonder how I will feel as DS gets older and when nothing happens naturally?!? That's what worries me. It's on my mind every day! I'm just thankful we have our frosties. Keeps me going as it makes it feel less final that DS2 is our last! It's when he starts growing out of clothes I find it hard! Do I keep them and put them up or give them away? 

Xxxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi Lollie and Sanfrancisco, we are not trying naturally as I would still have to consider my frosties if we conceived naturally ... then, we could potentially end up with 5 DC(!) although I think our chances of a natural pregnancy would be slim.  I've held on to baby stuff as I've got two relatives trying for babies so they'll go to whoever is in need.

I also feel that I can accept moving on with 2 children if FET doesn't work so I'm more of the mindset that if it works, fantastic!  If it doesn't then we move forward and draw a line under ttc.  There's a lot going on for us at the moment but in a few months we might be in a position to think about going for a consultation at ARGC again.

Good luck, Ladies.


----------



## Lollie2501

Our chance of natural pregnancy are pretty much zero but my partner wants to try. He's hoping for a miracle bless him. As we managed to conceive our first naturally I think he hopes it could happen again but after all the surgery he has had I don't think it would but I'm happy to support what he wants to do. We are very lucky to have our frosties and some frozen sperm too so hopefully he won't have to endure more surgery if we had to go down the ICSI route again. I think if we didn't have frosties though the temptation to try again wouldn't be as strong.  Xxx


----------



## Nonnie

Hello ladies

hello to all the new people ( We all know how you fell and tis is great place to get understanding) and also to my old friends strabs, samb and ajax, 

Sorry was awol for a while but took some time out after Dec txt to decide what to do. So we eventually bankrupted ourselves and went again in April. The txt went well. I responded great, hubby SS was much improved and we got 3 great beanies. Long story short is that they opted for three day(it was a close call) but on that particular day our ususal consultant was not there and the replacement could not get them back in. After hour and half on table I was told we needed to wait until the 5th daysand hope for best. I was devestated and to say I put in rough weekend is an understatement. On Mon out of the two front runners, one had stopped developing and the other was half turning into a balst. HOWEVER the third place beanie was a fighter like its mum and had turned in to a beautiful blast. Afeter another hours and half hanging upside down on table with lots of prayer and pure brute force my blast and a half were returned home. I know the clinic didnt really hold out much hope but I prayed and prayed and prayed.

Of course you know were is going. we got our long awaited positive and on week eight the clinic scaned and confirmed a viable heratbeat.

What you wont be expecting and neither were we was that when we went to our own hospital for my 13 week scan yesterday there was two heartbeats.
Yes apparently Im having twins. There, I have said it. Twins       The reason i have these here is because I have been alternativley laughing hysterically and crying with joy since. TOTAL SHOCK. Dont know how fertility clinic missed it and dont really care as over the moon.

Of course now Im panicking cos obviously twin preg can be riskier so AJAX any advice on twin preg please

Sorry for me post but think I have lost me marbles.

Best of luck to everyone

Ninnie ( I think at this point will oficially change from nonnie to ninnie)
xxx


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## strawbs

Ninnie!!!! Omg wonderful news, but crikey can understand the panic! + fretting!!! I have a friend with 4boys (identical twins in middle) + a friend with triplets, but no personal experience. However, from what I can gather there are 2camps totally laid back or rather regimented! Would turn me into a ninnie, but oh I would love 4! Def not, no more allowed.
Keep us posted, a delighted strawbs!!
X x x


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## Lollie2501

Thank you for the warm welcome  

Congratulations Nonnie   a double blessing   that's wonderful! I can imagine the worry though as I worried enough with a low risk   bit I'm sure all will be great! Your one little fighter turned into two so they'll now put up double the fight!!

Xxx


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## Ajax

My darling Ninnie - your a dark horse you............How Fantastic - A million Congratulations my lovely    
Twinnies - how exciting and terrifying all at once!  Pregnancy wise, I have to admit I found the twin one easier going than this little monkey who is on board now.  Obviously you will get bigger quicker, tired quicker and probably a little more puffier but it can quite easily meander on as your previous pregnancies. You will of course have extra scans and consultant care and I would highly suggest boosting your iron levels as soon as possible (I am taking Spa tone now which is natural and pretty gentle on the system) to prevent any later anemic issues. It will be tougher having your lovely boys to contend with at the same time so take any help offered without a second thought.  Obviously you will have the whole c-section dilemma but often these twin pregnancies will dictate their own delivery methods which takes the decision making process out of your hands.  Oh but how wonderful - I love my twinnies and yes it is super hard work in the beginning (if you get through the first 6 weeks you will survive ANYTHING!!) but it is so worth it for he double blessing and double love it brings.


So so so so so happy for you all my darling! Personally I think you were just keeping me company with having 4.......     


Welcome to all newbies    - Lets keep the thread lucky     


Well AFM, I am waddling like a good un' at the moment.  Thank goodness the school hols start Monday! Really needing those extra sleeping times! Wish I could say I was organized but I'm not really - I mean we have most things but they aren't assembled, or organized yet. Oh well! 




Sending all lots of love


A xxxxxx


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## Bubblicious

Wow!  Many congratulations, Nonnie!  I hope your pregnancy goes fantastically well.

How is everyone else doing?

I have just paid for another year of storage for my frosties.  I was very late with payment and I'll be due to pay again in October this year ... or will I be cycling then?!?

One thing I've been thinking of lately is whether I should do this when my dear, dear sister is having investigations for infertility for her first.  I'm very lucky so am I being greedy/selfish for wanting more when someone I care so much about is struggling for one?

Has anyone been in a similar situation?


----------



## Nonnie

Evening Girls

Ajax Thanks for advice and support. You didn t think I was going to let you have all the fun......Spent first week living on my nerves but have finally setteled down as obviously worrying will not help get them her safetly. Cant believe how big I am already and puffy. The old ankles have disappeared already    but I dont care how huge  i get and hubby has developed some strange fetish about my vuloptousness( his words not mine,) Bloody well never came near me during other two and now am knackered and cant be bothered    . When is your due daye hun. make sure take it easy.

Thanks strawbs.... How are you getting on back at work? Cant believe you flew with three. Did you enjoy hols. Il prob never be on a plane again   

Bubb Your not being slefish our hearts want what they want and Im sure your sis wouldnt want to stand in the way of your happinness. i would only do it though as long as you are not overly worrying about her. Who knows please God maybe there will be wee cousins in future

Hiya to all you other ladies

Ninnie
xxx


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## Ashy

Been looking at the forum again for a few weeks and am now posting here in the hope for some support from ladies in a similar boat to me.......


DD1 conceived naturally, now 12.


DS1 conceived on first month of Clomid after being diagnosed with PCOS, now 8


DD2 conceived on first month of Clomid, now 5


So why oh why do I find myself naturally TTC??!!


Having another baby hasn't even entered my head for 5 years since DD2 was born.  What's my chances of it happening naturally?


Sorry for the mumbled post - took a break from FF for the last 5 ish years!


Ashy x


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## Bubblicious

Ashy, I don't about your chances of conceiving naturally but wanted to say "Hi".

DH and I have been talking tonight about whether we could let our two frosties go and whether we would regret not having tried FET with them.  As it turns out, DH's viewpoint, it seems, has little to do with ethics and sentiment but more to do with the amount of money we spent getting them.  I, on the otherhand, have always been maternal and have moral issues with not giving my frozen babies a chance of life.  What is holding me back is my age, my ability to cope with more children and my previous traumatic births.  The upshot is that we are no closer to deciding what to do for the best.  Have all you ladies here always known you'd want more than two if it was possible?


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## strawbs

Hi ashy-we;come to a very lucky thread!!!
Bubbilicious, I always want more babies, would love another I really would!!  No more for me as I am not sure I would ever feel like I have had enough.  Only you can decide, perhaps set yourself a limti of using the frosties so you wouldn't have the what if?  It is a tough call, but I know what I would do!!!!
Ninne, Jo Jo, ajax, samb how are we all?
My lo is now 8months and we are getting on so well with juggling the children, work etc (housework, laundry and finances are another matter!).  It has it's ups and downs with ds2 still struggling with jealousy, but it is getting less and more manageable.  I have also managed to lose 2 stone and am now the weight I was before I started all the tx all those years ago!  only thing that I really need to sort is my relationship with dh, we get onso  well, but still not done the deed since baby was born!! off on hols on sun and must sort that  out!!!

strawbs xxxxx


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## Bubblicious

So I have an appointment in a few weeks to talk about FET ... I'm a bit excited but also apprehensive.  I remember feeling this way before embarking on ICSI; in my mind, if I avoided treatment altogether I could avoid it not working, iykwim, so making that decision to go ahead was hard.  As I did in previous times, I'm taking it a step at a time, thinking about the whole thing would be just overwhelming.


----------



## Boggler

Hi ladies - mind if I join .i have been posting in other sections but feel like a fraud. I deleted my history off my signature and then felt like a bigger fraud!!  I have an FET transfer tomorrow. Myself and dh always talked about 3 kids so going back to use the frosties was an easy choice - if we are lucky enough for it to work then what to do with the other 3 would be an issue. Also the thoughts of twins is very scary !!  To be honest I am happy with my boys and if the fets don't work I don't know how willing I am to keep chasing the 3 kid dream. My dh on the other hand is adamant- but he is not the one putting himself through this from a physical prospective or sacrificing career or giving up any lifestyle choices or getting a moon face on steroids. I know the stress and the sadness  of not been able to have second baby is gone which is amazing - hence the feeling like a fraud on the website  but I still wish a bit of jiggly would produce the goods!!  Sorry rant over - wanted to get that off my chest or a while!! 
Bubbliciuos - best of luck with ur chat on the FET - I am not finding it mentally tough but very physically demanding !

Strawsb- well done on the weight loss - time to get jiggy with it!

Ashy - no harm in trying naturally I'd say but don't leave it too long before looking for help if not working!


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## Bubblicious

Good luck today, Boggler  .

We have a similar history by the looks of our signatures.  I have two frosties left so this is our last chance at more children unless, of course, the unknown reason for our secondary infertility has righted itself  .


----------



## Ajax

Hi all


I just wanted to let you know that we had a beautiful baby girl on 26th August. Been a whirlwind since then but enjoying the whole falling in love feeling all over again.  Oh and managed the whole Vbac without any issues so it was all good!


Hope everyone else is well


Amanda xxx


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## Bubblicious

Congrats, Ajax!


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## Boggler

Congrats Ajax  - guessing you have ur hands full!!

Bubblicious are kids are even similar ages! I had first week at big school this week so no time to think about transfer . Also only going back to work after mat leave next week so busy getting child are sorted etc.  ET went ok but tell you what the full bladder thing very  difficult after having two kids. Wishing now I kept up the pelvic floor excersise!!  

Relaxed now but eating far too much crap!!

Later
Boggler


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## Klarka

Hello ladies,
may I join please? We have twins after IVF and we are currently planning a third FET cycle...

Bubblicious, these are some tough questions you are facing. For me, the possibility of having too many frozen embryos and not knowing what to do with them held me back from IVF for years. We eventually decided to go for it and we prayed that we would be able to come back for each and every embryo we have left. 

We conceived from the first transfer, and I gave birth to healthy twin girls. We had 4 embryos frozen. First FET last year I got pregnant but M/C, Second FET last month did not work out. This leaves us with 2 embryos and somehow I feel this is a number we MIGHT be able to cope with, should a miracle happen and both remaining frosties survive and we end up with two more babies (one at a time).

I know, just like you, I would struggle if we had embryos left we had no use for. I also knew from the beginning that two babies just won't do for me. I guess all the years of infertility made me feel so emty, it takes more than two babies to fill up the hole, so to speak. However, when we returned for our first FET, my doctor told me that very few parents come back after having twins. So I guess majority of people are happy with two children. I AM happy I have them but I also know I would be happy to have more!


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## strawbs

Ajax...congratulations, enjoy her.  After the scary early days on how on earth you will mange, it does go in the blink of an eye!!

Hello Klarka and Bubbilicious

JoJo just waiting for your announcement!

Ninnie how are you getting on?

strawbs xxx


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## Bubblicious

Hi Klarka, welcome  .


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## jojo29

Hello there! Congrats Ajax, hello everyone !
I have 8 days to go, woo hoo...I'm not as big as last two pregnancies so I am guessing this one could be the runt of the family, maybe  an 8lb er..getting organised now my other two are in school and pre school. 
I really hope this thread continues to be so lucky, will keep everything crossed for more BFP
Jojo xx


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## jojo29

Evening ladies, I have an announcement... Isaac Alexander, born 39+2 via CS, 8lb 11, small for me!! he is just perfect and absolutely gorgeous. Feeling very proud and very happy.  Other half already organised the snip as the first thing I said after delivering him was 'omg is this really the last'..this panicked him.. So 3 it is for us...I wish you all to get your dream as I have definitely got mine..I am probably going to steer clear of the ttc and pregnancy forums from now on, I think it is time to close that door for my sanity and concentrate on the parenting threads!! So, thank you ladies for accompanying my journey for no 3 and see you in the parenting section. Jojo x


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## Bubblicious

Congrats, Jojo!


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## strawbs

hey JoJo!!!  congratulations, under 9lb!!  what is going on there, a baby for longer-lovely!!!

Enjoy him it goes so fast.  So pleased you have reached the end of your journey, what a lovely outcome!  

Hope you are all well.

Busy this end working and juggling and babies growing too fast.  so lucky to be here and I do thank my lucky stars.  I look at my play room, full of crap and full of children and feel so blessed (albeit stressed most of the time!!)

strawbs xxx


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## Caddy

Congratulations, Jojo. Wonderful news. Enjoy every second.

Caddy xxxxx


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## Samb1256

Hi gals
I am so sorry for not being in touch - congratulations Ajax and Jojo!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to all the newbies!

I had a *wonderful baby girl in June*. She's a little doll and her brother and sister love her so much (sometimes too much if you know what I mean!)

It is a bit crazy with three under 5 but I am loving it. Not getting half enough sleep but am loving the time I have while she is so small.

Ya see, miracles babies do happen! I never thought I could have a natural pregnancy but we did it.

kisses to all xxxxxxxxxxxx Promise I will keep an eye on this post more often. I love hearing how everyone is doing.

Sam


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## Bubblicious

Congrats on the birth of your little girl, Sam!

How is everyone else doing?

I am starting my monitored cycle in a couple of weeks with a view to gaving natural FET in the new year.  Is anyone else cycling soon?


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## margesimpson

Hi all, wonder if I could join in here? Congratulations to jojo and Sam and to Ajax too I think. Read through a bit and found the chat rather reassuring. We're ttc no.3 with diui. Cycle ended in bfn this morning. Gutted. One more straw of sibling sperm reserved at the clinic and just signed up for another, probably last attempt, diui. So no pressure then?
Anyway good to hear there's others in the same position/or who have been.

Marge x


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## Bubblicious

Hi Marge, so sorry about your BFN.

We have 2 frozen embyros left (from our ICSI cycle that resulted in my DD.).  So the FET we are planning for next year will be our last chance for #3.  We have decided not to try naturally (DS was naturally conceived) as it took it's emotional toil on us and we're not willing to put our 2 DC through it.  Just one FET   ... and should that not work, we move on.

Wishing you lots of luck for your next cycle.


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## margesimpson

Thanks bubblicious, we're at a very similar point. At the moment (!) we're saying this is the last try. If this doesn't work, we'll need to accept that a third wasn't meant to be and try to move on with our lives. The time is flying past with DS and DD and I don't want to miss anything by chasing a dream that may never happen. It really is an emotional rollercoaster which I don't want the kids to feel, not to mention that it also seems like we're money that we could be spending on them. But, it's much easier to say it now, with the hope that this cycle will work, than to accept it as a final decision if it doesn't work! Wish us luck - starting tomorrow! 
Marge xxx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hello Ladies,
Can I join your group please. Getting myself ready for FET. A last cycle ever.
The desire to have 3rd one is huge but I can not do any more fresh cycles. I just can not carry on fighting this war anymore. I have ran out of time and power to do so.. 
Will try my last 4 blast embies and done with it.. Easy to say it now with a huge hope in my heart. I am sure 2014 will be a very hard year if the result is negative.
Love and luck to you all.
Kukixx


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## margesimpson

Hi kuki,

I know it's very different to say this is the last try now, to actually accepting it if it doesn't work. The emotional and well and financial cost does effect the kids we already have though. We could be spending this money on a fantastic holiday for us all! And I'm rubbish at hiding my emotions so DS who's 3 now, is aware that mummy is sad. : (
Dh has asked a few times if this really is the last try and it's impossible to really say for sure. 
We're so lucky with our two amazing children, I know. Perhaps it's stubbornness, not wanting infertility to dictate our family, but it's hard to let go of our idea of how our family should be. It's like there's a baby out there waiting for us to make them.

Best of luck to us all,

Marge x


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Dear Marge,
I have been fighting this war in last 7 years. I am so very tired.. I am so vey very lucky to have my darling girls but I cannot discribe the feeling of wanting another.. It is huge.. 
I even think of going back to work and demand more treatment when I am 50 ish.. I must be mad.. Why do I do this to myself..Why and oh why I can not be happy with what I have got.. I am so lucky to have my girlies.. I hate this feeling.. I want to go back to happy me before this fight entered my happy life. 
mxxx


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## Bubblicious

Hi Kuki. 

I almost feel like I have something to prove, that I almost have to overcompensate for having to have treatment by having more children than perhaps I would have done if I had been one of those women who only had to look at their DH and they'd be pregnant.  Is this just me?

How are things going, Marge?

AF is due on Monday so I'll be going in for my monitored cycle blood test soon.


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## margesimpson

Bubbles - that's so spooky! I've wondered the same about myself. Is the desire for a baby so ingrained that it somehow lingers on after we are blessed with our kids? If we gave ourself enough time, would the feeling pass eventually? Or would I always wonder and regret? Our decision was complicated a little by knowing that we had a finite amount of donor sperm stored for us which we had to pay for each year. If we don't pay, it need to be destroyed and I couldn't bear for potential DS/dd to just be flushed away without even trying.

Kiki - I have moments when it seems clear that this should be the last try and then that's it, we move on from our battle with infertility. It seems like a relief to have decided this, but then I know deep down that we could save up and try again.i read somewhere that it's good to decide before hand how many times you'll try, but most us try until we get success or we have no money,energy or hope left.   I know we are so lucky and i don't want this to be all our lives are about for the next 5 years or longer.


----------



## strawbs

Hi ladies,

I am not sure the longing ever truly goes, it hasn't for me.  But for us, no more, I can't keep going, taken up too much of my live striving for a family which I am now so blessed to have.

Today, I have bagged up all my maternity clothes for charity.

After my baby's first birthday I will be doing the same with the baby clothes, have a garage full!  I never thought I would be strong enough to do that!  

The turning point for me has been losing a lot of weight and feeling well and so lucky

The journey is long and hard and I hope you all find peace with your decisions however they happen

Strawbs xxxx


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## Kuki2010

Bubblicious,
I feel exactly the same. Maybe we would not feel like this if we could get pregnant naturally. I think cos we can not.. We long even more for children we can not have naturally.. It is hard to explain.

Marge,
Yes I have those momemnts.. I know I should just let it go; that is what my brain is saying. But my heart still aches. And in a strange sense it does not help to have those embies waiting in Reprofit. I don't know If I did not have that hope; maybe just maybe I could let it go? I don't know. 

Strawbs,
You sound like you are in a wonderful place right now. I so want all of us to feel that peace within in.. I don't know if I feel content once I have one more child? And have my dream of 3 kids completed. I don't know.. 

Hope you all are enjoying the weekend with your preciuos darlings.

Love. Kukixx


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Strawbs - the longing may never go, but you seem to speak with a clarity that this is the right decision for you and your family. 

I know if we were blessed with a third that would be enough. I'm not so sure that I'll be able to stop if this treatment doesn't work.

Iui on Monday! Omg I hope it works! Come on follies!

Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Good luck Marge. Will be thinking of you.
Kukixx


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## Bubblicious

Good luck, Marge.

Have had a think about timings and decided to have my monitoring cycle in January with our actual FET to follow in March.  But I'll be keeping an eye out for any news here in the meantime.  Keep well, ladies and stay  .


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## margesimpson

Thanks folks. It's totally surreal to think that we're going for an iui tomorrow and we might be pregnant after that! OMG I really hope it works. Will be on here loads I suspect with the stressing and obsessing of the two week wait.

Mx


----------



## strawbs

Good luck marge!!

Yes the peace may just about be here now, 10 long years for us, but worth it.  

Strawbs xx


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## Kuki2010

Hi,
Marge, how did it go?
Kukixx


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## Lollie2501

Hi Ladies

I was sent the link to  this topic and realised I have posted here before and do lurk around here from time to time. The last time I posted here was July and we're still considering trying for number 3.

I do find it difficult to keep up with the posts and have read back a bit. I feel happier knowing I'm not the only one that would like to have a third as I really beat myself up and feel so guilty for feeling like I would like another. After DS2 was born I was convinced I didn't want to try again but as each month passes we think about our frosties more and more and know we would love to try again! I have been scared of feeling like this again and have been trying to suppress it in the hope it would go away! 

Lollie xx


----------



## margesimpson

Hello lollie. I was also massively relieved to find this thread and have just had another iui to try for our third with donor sperm. We had two samples left at the clinic and so we felt we had to take the chance. We've had one cycle abandoned and one not work. I think this might just be the last I've got in me. It's just too hard emotionally and I feel it does impact the other kids. You have to do what you have to do though. so it was a clear decision in the end for us.

Is the decision getting any clearer for you?

Thanks folks - the iui went as well as could hope for and now starting crinone gel tonight for progeaterone support. Just wanted to try everything this last time!

Mx


----------



## Lollie2501

Marge so pleased all went as well as you could of hoped for today! Do you have any plans to try and get through the next couple of weeks? Sending   and  ! Keep us posted  

I would like to try a FET next year but I'm leaving it up to DS2 to help me decide when the time is right. He's still BF and AF has not returned so once he stops nursing we will get started I think. I don't want to hurry him to wean as he's only 13 months but nice to have some sort of action plan when I'm ready.

Kuki, the journey we have faced and what we will continue is very hard to put into words but I get it as I know we all do. I am finding the yearning for number 3 getting just as strong as it was for number 2. I have been so scared of feeling like this but I can't keep it to myself any longer! So pleased to find you ladies  

Strawbs I admire your strength. Big hugs 

Bubbilicious January will soon be here for your monitoring cycle then it will be all systems go! I imagine it's exciting and nerve wrecking ll t the same time!

Lollie xxx


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## Bubblicious

Welcome, Lollie.  Marge, sending you  .  Apparently, this has proved to be a very lucky thread in the past.  Let's hope it continues to be  .


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## Kuki2010

Hello dear ladies,
I hope you all are having a good weekend.

Just came to send billions of       to Marge!

And yes Lollie. So very true. We do understand each other. I so greatful to FF. Without it I think I would be in a very dark and miserable place...

Love and luck to you all.

Kukixx


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## Lollie2501

Thank you for the warm welcome  

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend! 

Sending loads of      Marge  

Kuki I too would be lost without FF. I've had great understanding and support on here that I would never of had from anyone else. I've made some life long friends too  

I had a lovely weekend. I spent Friday with a close friend of mine. She is pregnant and of course I'm so happy for her but am starting to find it hard to be around pregnant women again. I feel awful for feeling like this and it's only just started creeping up on me. I think it's because I know that it doesn't happen easily for us and know what we have to face to try and get there again. Plus the thought of failure or loss really scares me. My friend has another close friend that has been TTC for ages and has had failed IVF. She was telling me how her friend has been avoiding her since she was pregnant and she can't be bothered with her anymore! Made me very cross as she will never know what it's like to try hard to conceive as she falls pregnant first try. She was very insensitive to her friend too and told her she was pregnant over FaceTime with all her family in the background! My heartbreaks for her friend. 

Bubblicious I hope the thread continues to be lucky too   

Love to you all xxx


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## margesimpson

Thanks folks for the kind thoughts and support. Have to say that the two week wait is really going slowly - I can't believe we're not even half way through! 

Lollie - fertility and babies are such an emotive subject! There's folk who fall pregnant and don't want to, some who, like ourselves, struggle to get pregnant, and some who never make it. Some adopt and some seem haunted by regrets later in life at not trying harder to have children. Others desperate to have children are then swamped by post natal depression and others still, feel their fertile years slipping past while they search for the right partner. I feel so lucky that we came through a tough diagnosis to have our wonderful two kids! I don't want our infertility to rule our lives and if this treatment doesn't work, I really hope I'll be able to accept that's it. We have no more donor sperm reserved at our clinic and I believe the donor is now retired so...so...I'll really be willing this treatment to work!!!   

Strawbs - I only wish i could lose the baby weight!   I hope we know someone with younger kids so that we can pass our clothes on and not feel its too heart renching!

Bubblicious - I really hope this thread is lucky. I have some cramp like feelings and trying not to read to much into it.

Kuki - if you're like me, those embies will be practically calling you! We tried to make our decision based on how we want our family to be and not just because we had sperm sitting there waiting, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it did weigh heavily on my mind. How could I see it destroyed? With a potential DS or DD hidden in there?

Hugs gals,

Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Lollie,
I do avoid pregnant friends and family at all costs.. I can not cope.. Even if they were infertilit babies. I just get sooo upset. It really bothers my balance..So I totally understand. And as for people understanding us.. Well they will not unless they gone through it by themselves. They just can not or don't.. I don't discuss my baby plans etc with people who does not understand. I don't talk about it to them anymore.. 

Marge,
Exactly.. They have been calling me since Sasha has been born.. Isn't that weird but yes.. I have to get them done and deal with drawing the line.. 
You keep busy lady.. And do things makes you happy.. Try.. Oh so so very hard.. 2WW wait I hate it with passion..    

Love and luck to you all. Kukixxx


----------



## Lollie2501

Good afternoon Ladies

Marge willing this treatment to work for you too! Keep positive and sending lots of positive thoughts and baby dust! I hope the 2ww starts speeding up a bit for you. I watched funny films whenever I didn't have much to do to keep me busy or in the evenings. Comedy films are easy watching, a good distraction and laughter is a good medicine!!

I too feel very blessed that we managed to get through our infertility diagnosis too and my heartbreaks for those who are still struggling to have babies without success. I was hoping though to be able to move on after going through all we have but infertility still very much haunts me. I felt better after DS2 was born but it really is coming back and on my mind day in and day out.

Kuki I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one finding it hard to be around pregnant women but I'm sorry to hear you are feeling like this too. 

My frosties are also calling me and have been getting louder the older DS2 gets lol. We really weren't expecting to get any frosties and before we started our cycle the clinic warned us of this. I feel so grateful to have them as our hope that we may have another and that we can try when we are ready. I know nothing is guaranteed but for now knowing they are there gets me through the feelings that I still get. All the time I have hope I know I will hold it together better.

Love to all ladies on here  

Lollie xx


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## Neens

Hiya! Just wanted to say thanks so much for sharing. It's truely wonderful to find other people in a similar situation. Don't want to be greedy, really super grateful for the family you have but there's still a yearning for another baby... 
I once asked a woman (who had 3 daughters) how she knew that was the right number. She said that she didn't feel 'done' after the third one and went on to have a fourth pregnancy. The fourth pregnancy ended in miscarriage and she said it was only at that time that she felt she was really lucky with what she had and didn't feel the need to go on. 
Irrespective of the outcome of my current pregnancy, I'm hoping that the yearning will go and that I will feel done myself!
I hope you all get the number of children you desire and that the desire for 'one more' does one day leave   Good luck and thanks again!


----------



## Kuki2010

Neens,
How far are you? Good luck!

Marge,
How are you feeling?

Lollie,
Once I get rid of those embies one way or another. I will work on the horrible feelings and hopefully I will be able to get to peace and contented stage. I am totally in love with my girls.. I am so so very lucky to have them. Still I cannot stop of really hard done feeling.

Love and luck to you all.
Kukixx


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi ladies  

Hope everyone is well today!!

Neens Congratulations to you! Thank you for sharing about he lady you have spoken to. I have asked ladies as well how they know when they have had the the right number of children and everyone I have spoken to always say they just know! 

Marge hope you are ok! Sending lots of    

Kuki I defiantly feel the need to try again especially knowing we have embies. FET is so much cheaper than a fresh cycle and I don't think we would of been able to do one again so am praying hard we get number three from a FET. I worry about how I would feel if we didn't have another once we had used them all! I guess we won't know until we try! My Oh is not set on trying so soon though or at all for that matter  he says no but then when we brought DS2 a new car seat he asked what we were going to do with his old one? I just said "I don't know?" And he suggested putting it in the attic so he must be considering it right?? If I'm scared of loss and failure he must be too?? 

Love to you all xx


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Neens - I found your story very interesting as I wonder if I feel feel done whether this treatment work or not. She seemed to feel done, not because of her number of children, but because she was done trying. This would definitely be the last pregnancy for me, but at the moment, I think I'll feel done even if it doesn't work. There's only so much I'm prepared to put my family and myself through. 

The 2ww is still dragging for me. I can't even bear to think about the future at all. It seems so unlikely that it will work and yet I can't face thinking about life if it doesn't work, almost as if deep down I think it mihht have worked so what's the point of planing otherwise! Going slowly crazy


----------



## Bubblicious

Hello Neens, I hope you have a very healthy and happy pregnancy.

Hi Marge, Kuki and Lollie.  I hope you are all well.

I know the feelings well.  When I was ttc #2, I couldn't handle being around pregnant women, stopped going to mother/baby groups, avoided family members who would ask why we were leaving such a big gap before having another.  It was my coping mechanism.

Now, I would love more children but I have to admit that I am feeling more relaxed about the outcome of my upcoming FET at this point.  For me, I'd already reached a level of acceptance before embarking on IVF for DC#2.  If I hadn't, in all honesty, it might have driven me crazy.  DH and I had already decided that we would try one fresh cycle only (it was all we could manage both financially and emotionally) and I'd come to some peace about this.  I was as prepared as I could have been for moving on as a family of three if it didn't work.  I had started on the road of focussing on what we had rather than what we didn't have.  And while I was pregnant, this philosophy became even more relevant as we lost my FIL suddenly a week or so after my beautiful three year old niece was diagnosed with leukemia.  She is still having treatment so everyday, I feel blessed for having two healthy children and a great DH by my side.  For us to have more would be an amazing bonus but if it didn't work then it just wasn't meant to be.

Marge, I am sending you lots of  .


----------



## lucy2013

Hi Ladies can I join you all please? ive been reading for so long but feel now is the time to join you all if ok?
I have two children 6yr old and a 2yr old and had 4 miscarriages and one later loss at 16 weeks which was very hard to go through.
I feel so blessed to have our little family now but cant shake this feeling of I don't yet feel complete and its so hard I feel so awful when I see some ladies don't even have any children and there is me wanting more  sometimes I wonder if its because its so hard to have children that it makes you want even more? maybe if it was easier I wouldn't have these feelings now? just feel for 8yrs now all I have thought about is ivf/miscarriages loss hearthache then joy when we had our two beautiful children but now these feelings are coming back again  ive not been back on anything since having my little girl and each month I just wonder if this month will be my month to prove to everyone that knows about my infertility I can actually do this naturally but it hasn't happened and each month gets harder 
we would love for a miracle to happen and dh would love another but it all comes down to money and would need to do a whole new cycle again as not frosties left  maybe 2014 will be a good year for us all and bless us 
sorry about the long post and hope you don't mind me joining you all xx


----------



## margesimpson

Welcome Lucy, wow you've been through so much!   I think this thread is amazing. It's good to know you're not the only one who feels like this. I think there's a shadow of our infertility that makes our desire for a family persist even when it might've made sense to call it a day. I hope reading others stories helps you find the right path for you and the faith to try again if that's what you decide.     

We found it impossible to resist using the samples we'd reserved and just couldn't bear the idea of having it destroyed. This last diui was our last straw of sibling sperm held at the clinic. Official test day (blood test) is tomorrow. If this try doesn't work, for whatever reason, I think we're done. However a boots test is showing a faint cross, so hopefully this last try will be just the one we needed!


----------



## Bubblicious

Welcome Lucy.  Wishing you lots of luck.

Marge, a faint positive is still a positive, right?  I hope this is confirmed tomorrow.  Good luck.


----------



## Lollie2501

Hello ladies  

Welcome Lucy! You have been through so much   So sorry for your losses! Wishing you lots of luck on your journey and hope your dreams of baby number 3 come true! 

Marge great news about the positive test this morning! It's a day early to test and one day makes all the difference! Some people have a negative one day and then a positive the next! As Bubbilicious says hope this is confirmed for you tomorrow. Sensing love and baby dust     

Bubbilicious I must say that my feelings are not as bad as when we were trying for number 2 but they are definitely creeping in a bit stronger!

Kuki how are you doing?

Love and hugs to all 

Lollie xx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hello Ladies,
My first precious's birthday weekend was last one.. Has been so busy. And just getting ready to go to Scotland for DH's friend's Wedding. 

But Marge, have been thinking of you. How are you hun? Any news?

Love and luck to you all...

Will properly catch up in next week. 

Kukixx


----------



## margesimpson

I might be biased, but weddings in Scotland are great fun! Especially if there's a ceilidh! Just remember to hold on tight and if in doubt, spin around! Yee hah! 

Yes, the faint positive turned into a strong positive with the blood test. Now an excruciating wait until our scan on the 6th January!

Lucy - if 2014 is going to be a good year for you, that's not long to wait now.


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi Ladies

Yay huges congratulations Marge! Such brilliant news. I hope the wait for your scan goes fast. I remember it being harder than the 2ww! I hope the holiday season keeps you busy!      

Kuki have a lovely time in Scotland. Looking forward to hearing from you when you get back! 

Hello to everyone else! Hope all is well


----------



## Bubblicious

Congratulations, Marge  !  It's a nerve-wracking time in the early days but hopefully you'll be so busy with Christmas that the time will fly.  Wishing you a fantastic pregnancy.

Kuki, have a nice time at your friends' wedding.

Lollie/Lucy, how are you doing?

I'm busy with Christmas stuff.  Nothing going on ttc-wise.

The luck on this thread continues, ladies.  Let's hope this carries on into the New Year.


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi Bubbilicious

I'm ok thank u! Christmas is also keeping me busy! Will be pleased when I'm all done so I can relax and look forward to celebrating!  Nothing happening here for me ttc wise either. The time is still not right to start FET for us and I'm thinking we're going to have to wait longer than we first planned. My best friend is pregnant at the moment and I find it really hard. I wish I didn't but I do. I just wish getting pregnant was as easy for me as it is for her! Hope you're ok xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Thanks all, it's still so early but I think I'm already feeling the stirrings of morning sickness, which is reassuring but terrifying! I've been so ill my first two pregnancies! But at least some symptoms is a good sign!

Lollie - other people haven't bothered me so much if I can think of times they've had it hard or how long they waited to find the right guy etc. and probably lots of other things we don't even know about. Because that is the way of the world, we're all sent our sh$t to wade through! I recently told a close friend who is nearing forty and hasn't found the right guy yet about our treatment journey and needing to use donor sperm. She's always been desperate for kids and I think saw me as sailing through life getting everything that she wants. That was why I hadn't told her before. I couldn't bear for her to minimize the heart ache and say, we'll at least you've got children! It might've ended our friendship. 

This website really makes me appreciate what we have, because I can see how much others struggle too. It also makes me recognize in myself the caring person I thought I was. I can feel genuine joy and excitement when people I hardly know get bfps. 
Lollie - why do you think you might have to wait longer?

Bubblicious - does that mean you're very organized for Xmas? I really wish I was! 

Kuki - let us know how the wedding goes! Birthdays are so exciting. I get totally carried away though and then end up stressing about icing a dinosaur!


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## Lollie2501

Hi ladies 

How are you all?

Marge how are you doing?.........You are so right, I shouldn't let other people bother me either! It's only because I know my bestie gets pregnant first time every time and I just that I could get pregnant as soon as I decide I would like another I know that it wasn't going to be such an emotional roller coaster! It's so try though you never know what happens behind closed doors and I never assume that because people have kids they have had it easy to get them. My friend that is pregnant at the moment is lovely but she is very insensitive! Her friend has had numerous failed IVF attempts and announced to her she was pregnant on a video call with all her family excited in the back ground and she wonders why her friend had been avoiding her. I feel disappointed in her after seeing the pain I went through on our journey I thought she might of been more thoughtful! I always try and put myself in someone else's shoes. There was this lady in a cafe once and she was older and pregnant. My friend said to me "omg that lady looks far too old to be having a baby!" My reply was maybe that poor lady has been fighting years to have a baby and finally been blessed! It defiantly made her think!! I think if I was in your situation with yours friend I would of told her of what we had been through too. Sorry I've been waffling  

We may have to wait longer as DS still BF and my cycle still hasn't returned. I get the pre menstrual symptoms and think it's coming and then nothing lol. After chatting with fellow ffs I've learnt that even if cycles do return while bF clinics like you to of not bf for 3 months before you do a FET!?! 

Love to you all xx


----------



## margesimpson

Having a family is such an emotive subject for everybody it seems!

I'm doing great thanks in that the pregnancy seems strong, but the morning sickness is starting to hit hard already and it's not going to be easy with the other two! Bless them!

I was told that I had to stop bfing for 3 myths before treatment too.

Love and hope for the holidays,
Mx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hello All, how is everybody?  How are the Xmas preparations coming along?  This weekend, my SIL announced her second pregnancy and we had to babysit our niece.  I learned a few things about myself: the change from looking after three children instead of two isn't actually as big a jump as going from one to two and although I had a slight "why is it so easy for some people to just fall pregnant?" moment, I didn't feel that same desperation for more children as I had when we were ttc #2.  So I think, I'm as prepared as I can be for starting treatment next year.  Just got to get a busy Xmas period out of the way.


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi Ladies 

How are you all doing?

Bubbilicious I'm pleased you are prepared for next year and able to get through Christmas with treatment to look forward to without the intensity of feelings when ttc number 2. Exciting  

I definitely don't have such intense feelings as when ttc ds2 but I always wish it would be easy to get pregnant.

Marge how are you feeling now? Hope all is going well! Almost Christmas  your scan date will soon be here!! Yay 

Well I'm almost done for Christmas. Just need to get wrapping!! 

Still no sign of AF for me so I can't see us starting early part of next year. I think my period will return once I completely stop breastfeeding. So for now I'm going to carry on as we are and just see what happens without making plans or booking consultation for FET.

Hope you all have a lovely Christmas and New a Year xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Still really suffering with the "morning sickness" or rather 24/7 incapacitating nausea and dizziness. I'm sick every time I try to move off the sofa: ( 

Anyway, turns out that number three has a twin! So from a family of two, we'll become a family of four! We're still in shock and can only share it on here at this stage.

I thought id be more excited but everything is so overwhelmed by the sickness that I already feel like a terrible mother and that I'm not coping : ( so its more panic than excitement!

Anyway - all the best to you lovely ladies,
Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Dear Marge,
Oh my god! oh my god! What a fantastic news!!! 
I came here and checked for you almost everyday and was to scared to ask how you were doing.. 
Just a wonderful news.. Just hang in there.. 
I will try my embies at the end of feb. Oh how I would love to have twins but and huge but; not sure if my body could cope or my hubby in that matter.
Sending lots of love..
Take very good care of you and those darlings.
Kukixxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Wow, Marge, how amazing!  I hope the sickness gets better soon.  

Kuki, we may be cycling about the same time, too as I'm planning FET for the beginning of March.  I have two frosties so I guess there is always a chance of twins, too but DD was the result of two embryos so who knows.  How many will you be having transferred?


----------



## Lollie2501

Good evening ladies

Congratulations Marge! What lovely news to read! Don't beat yourself up! Early pregnancy is not easy! You'll be through this stage before you know. Hope you feel better soon! 

Kuki and Bubbiliocious, exciting that you will be getting started soon! 

AFM still no AF so won't be doing FET anytime soon. I've also been unwell and having lots of tests Friday so not sure where we stand with regards to having another until I get the results next week.

Xxxx


----------



## Kuki2010

Lollie,
Good luck with tests. Just get yourself better for FET.. 

Bubblicious,
I had my Af 4th of jan. So I start taking my drugs in Feb. I am hoping end of feb should be ET.. 24th of feb.. So maybe we will be sharing some of the draging 2WW.
Will be lovely to share it with you.. I will be delighted one healthy one.. But I am trying to get used to idea of not having anymore really.. 

Love and luck to you all friends..
Kukixx


----------



## strawbs

wow marge, a double delight!!!  Lucky you, huge congratulations and lots of luck for the rest of your pregnancy
Kuki, good luck
Happy New year one and all, I hope you all get your dreams

strawbs xxxxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Morning, hope you are all well.  

Marge, I hope your nausea/dizziness ia getting better.

Kuki, I think you'll be ahead of me as l won't have my frosties transferred until late March but I'll be around to offer support during your 2ww.

Lollie,  hoping all is well with those tests.  Sending you my best wishes.

I have started my monitoring cycle this week. My day two bloods have come back in the normal ranges. Have my mid-cycle scan booked on my 40th birthday (not how I pictured spending it but hey-ho).


----------



## margesimpson

Thanks for the congratulations. It's been so overwhelming that its nice to surrounded by such positivity.

Lollie - it's frustrating how many hoops we have to jump through. Hope the tests go well and sounds like 2014 is going to be a busy year for this thread!

Bubbles - how exciting to be starting. How do you keep things calm and pass the time?

Kuki - this journey brings all sorts if surprises so try to stay positive. If I've learned anything, it's that the statistics don't always apply.

Sorry not making much sense, but hi and thanks to all.

Mx


----------



## Bubblicious

How is everyone doing?  Hope all is well.

Marge, hope you're coping okay with the nausea and tiredness.

Kuki, not long until you start now.  Wishing you lots of luck.

Lollie, how have you been?

So I had my mid-cycle scan and my consultant wants to schedule in a hysteroscopy as they noticed something in my uterus, he suspects it's either a polyp or a slight overlap in my internal c-section scar and they're not overly concerned but ARGC like to cover all bases.  If it's a polyp, it'll need removing, if it's just a bit of my scar, they will know where not to place my frosties. On top of this, my mid-cycle bloods showed my LH was high indicating imminent ovulation so I'm back for my day 21 test on Friday even though I'm certain I won't ovulate for another week.  The upshot of this, is that the treatment stress is kicking in and I've really questioned my commitment to going through with FET.

I just had pre-conceived ideas that everything would have been textbook and straightforward and it already isn't.  And this is just the monitored cycle!  Am I stressed because, once again, I have to submit to the powers that be at ARGC and go with the flow (not easy for a control freak)?  Or because the additional unexpected costs are already beginning to mount up meaning less in the pot to spend on DS and DD?  Or am I stressed because of how much I want it to go to plan and to work?

Frankly, I don't know but I am definitely feeling a bit stressed.


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all 
Bubbles - that's great that your starting , but sorry your feeling so stressed. I have to say I was exactly the same. I all started to feel very real quite suddenly and I was so stressed and flapping at my spot, they forgot to take bloods and I had to drive back when I realized. Then I took the wrong injection because I couldn't take the information in. it was so different from last time and they seemed to think I knew what I was doing! The money also seems a much bigger deal, because it all translates as as - that couldnve been a family holiday. That's more than we spent of their nursery last month etc. 

The Arcg are supposed to be excellent though. Trust them and trust yourself and try to go with the flow. Each step is a step closer to your goal. Just beware you might end up with twins too!  
Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Girls,
I am having second thoughts about going through FET now. Sasha's not sleeping and not eating properly is just killing me softly softly.. 
I am exhausted.
Thinking to delay FET till september-oct time.
I will be 44. If I am not doing FET I have invest this year and get my teeth done.. It will be major work will take about 4-6 months.. If I go for teeth.. So that big job will gone from the list. Sasha will be almost a year older. She will be 2 years at the end of August this year. Hoping we will some how concur the sleeping issues.. 
I feel my body is just too exhausted to work magic with my precious embies..
What do you think?
Oh god I am so so scared FET working and not working.. 
I have all my med ready for Feb cycle but for later I will have to spend  more money on them.. Which is annoying while we are so short of money.
Top of all these; my DH might loose his job this year.. And if he does and we can not get a job for him. I have to go back to work asap.. I am sure I will be able to get something a lot more quicker.. Although I have not worked for 6 years. 
All these making me feel to delay my FET..
I have saved my teeth money when I was working.. Cos I wanted toget them them since I was a little girl.. And you can imagine they have gone worse in last 7 years cos of all the pregnancies etc.. My mounth looks horrible. So I have to get it done.. Before or After FET.. 
Thinking of you all..
Love. Kukixxx


----------



## margesimpson

Dear kuki, you have to go with your gut feeling on this. For me there was no point writing a list of rational reasons, just try making a choice and see if you feel relieved or sick to the stomach. Every time I thought of stopping I just felt so sad and we knew the sooner the better for us. Now of course, I feel sick all the time, so goodness knows how I feel?  

What does dh think?

Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

M,
Dh thinks we should try them asap. He says if we get lucky another pregnancy will make my teeth worse. After 3rd baby I should do my teeth.
But I am so tired, how FET can work while my body is just crumbling to peaces..
Argh.. Marge.. I don' tknow.. I change my mind hrly.. Till now I was so adamant I try it and draw the line and get on with my life.. But now I am so worried I won't be giving the best chance for the last embies  to implant.. 
Kukixx


----------



## margesimpson

Hi kuki,
It's amazing how many women have got bfps after terrible colds or tummy bugs. One theory was that the low immunity helped implantation?! I know I was full of the cold and really run down when it worked this time. How would you be if it worked though? Do you feel up to a pregnancy while running after the rest of your family? I take it your eldest is a bit older? Truth is, our age can matter during pregnancy re: tiredness as well as risks etc. 
Maybe this is just last minute cold feet because it suddenly feels more real? 
Hope things become a bit clearer for you,

Afm still struggling massively with hyperemesis. Miss my husband/ the kids/ normal life! Scan next week though, so just praying here's still there two healthy heartbeats in there. 
Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Dear Marge,
Will be thinking of you next week. So hoping both precious darlings will be there and both okay.
I had a horrible pregnancy with Sasha. I am dreading the thought it will be like that again.
I so wish immunes did work like that but very very comlex problem. At the moment I am having huge flares on my egzema. And thyroid playing up. All is telling me the timing is not wright.
Yes Lara is 6. But still need my attention and time. She is very lazy. I have to constantly push her to do any work.
Well Sasha does not eat. And sleep. Now we are refered to a specialist to see if there is any other unlining problem with her hrly wakings... 
This morning both of them woke up with colds.. 
We have a birthday tea party to go to at 2. Hopefully we will make it..
Hope you are going to feel a bit better soon..And able to rest a bit.. 
Love. Kukixxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Marge, thanks for sharing and for the encouraging words. Have you been hospitalised with your morning sickness? You poor thing. I hope that you feel much better soon.

Kuki, I agree with Marge that you do need to follow your gut but I know personally how this can even change from minute to minute. I am still not 100% sure about going through with FET myself but what I do know is that if I don't I will regret not giving my frosties a chance. From your posts, I feel that perhaps you should delay your decision a little bit longer; buy yourself a bit of breathing space and take off the pressure while other things are a bit stressful. I know what you mean about your eldest needing attention, too. DS is nearly six and although he is very independent in many ways, he still demands a lot of our time. I hope you find a solution to Sasha's eating and sleeping issues soon. Just getting a solid night's sleep can make all the difference in your own mental and physical wellbeing.

As for my own continuing journey, I had a call from ARGC with the results of my progesterone test and Mr T has recommended that I have medicated FET which I was hoping to avoid. It'll mean the extra costs of drugs and monitoring, I assume although I am not clear on the whole process. As I am having a break for a month [too much in the diary to also be doing FET], I am to go in on my next day 18 for a progesterone test and once it has been confirmed that I have ovulated, I am then to start down-regulating. So another 'hiccup' and a slight wobble from me about how committed I am. I say 'I' as DH has said he will support me whatever I decide [talk about pressure!]. But I am ploughing on.

Lollie, I hope all is well with you.


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Oh kuki - Sorry but I'm going up be a little negative, so if thats not what you need right now, look away....

Today has not been a good day. Another day not spent with my kids or dh or even talking to my family on the webcast. Dh has taken the kids out with friends and I've thrown up all of lunch and come back to bed. And I'm one of the lucky ones with this horrible morning sickness i suppose as I've never had to be admitted to hospital. If you're not sure or not ready for treatment, my advice today would be to hold off, because you'll need every ounce of determination to juggle a difficult pregnancy with two young kids. And I have a tonne of family support! I was and still am so sure we wanted a big family and treatment totally felt the right choice, but.... In all honesty, if I'd known how bad it was going to be, i'm not sure I would've done it. I might feel differently once the ms passes and start gushing it was all worth it, but right now, it just doesn't feel that way. It feels like if it hadn't worked, I'd be sad but knowing we'd done our best and starting to move on with life. I'd at least be living some sort of life, not stuck horizontal all day, like a useless lump, becoming more distant from the kids each day.

Sorry for such a negative poor me post. I should feel so lucky, we got everything we ever wanted, but I just need to vent.
Mxxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Marge, I'm so sorry that you are feeling this terrible but honestly, it will pass.  A friend of mine was hospitalised with hyperemisis in her first pregnancy but it didn't stop her having number two with the same thing happening so it will get better even though it may not feel like that now.

I remember how I felt when DS had colic, thinking it was never going to end, getting  depressed about the situation but it got better and the experience helped me cope better when DD was the same.  In my lowest of low moments, I just kept telling myself, that in the big scheme of things, it would only be a short period of time before she got better.

Sending you best wishes.


----------



## Kuki2010

Dear Marge,
You don't have apoligise. You poor thing. Must be so hard.. But hanging there. Like bubblicious says it is going to pass. Lets hope very very soon. 
I had such an awful pregnancy with Sasha. Was hospitilised and was awful cos I only have my sister to help and she in full time work. I have no family.. Was own my own.. 
I could not leave Sasha with anyone at the mo. Even with DH. Cos she just cries all the time. 
I am going to wait.. And hopefully I will feel strong and Sasha will be better with her sleep and eating.. 
Come here and rant away.. We are here to listen and support.. We understand.. Huge hugs hun... Xxx

Bubblicious,
Oh I do want to try them for sure but when i am not sure.. I change my mind hrly.. 
I have not booked anything so lets see what end up doing and when will happen. It is weird feeling but I really feel and think that my fet will work and get pregnant. And strange thing is all my FETs never worked. Oh who knows.. It must be my mind playing games with me.. 

Sending lots of love and luck to you all. Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Kuki, I think it would do you good to put off FET until you have resolved the other issues that are causing you stress in your life at the moment. You need to be in the right mindset.

I had a big chat with DH last night and we came to the conclusion that there was no real reason to wait any longer. So I popped into ARGC today and I've started down-regulating.  I guess this bit is not too bad, I'll contact the clinic on day 1 to book in for a hysteroscopy on day 5/6, so I have a little while off from any further clinic visits for now.


----------



## margesimpson

So it's official - we had our scan today so we'll be able to start telling more people about the pregnancy and that it's twins. I know we'll get a mix of reactions - either are you mad? Or wow how wonderful. But today I saw the twins as actual babies that ill get to cuddle one day rather than just a horrible stomach bug!


----------



## Lollie2501

Hi Ladies

Sorry I have been missing for ages. I've got so much to catch up on! 

Marge - How wonderful that you got to see your precious babies today. It gives you that extra strength to get through these rough days of feeling so ill. It's all worth it  you'll soon start to feel better! Hope you feel better soon! I'm so pleased all is well. Must feel more real too now you can tell people! 

Bubbilicious Yay for starting DR! Let us know how you are feeling and how everything is going! Sending lots of     


Kuki   How are you doing today? Are you still undecided? It's tough trying to decide when the time is right to start again but I feel that if there is any doubt that it's not the right time, personally, I would wait. You need to be in the right frame of mind. Here if you need to chat!

Hello to anyone I've missed  

Well, I've been soul searching while I've been away. AF finally arrived and I expected to feel ready to start FET really soon but didn't. We've decided to wait and not go for it now. I have decided to return to college. I have an interview in March. I've wanted to do it for a long time but the time never felt right. My heart and head are telling me that now is the time so I'm going to go for it. If it is the right time it will all work out! 

I'm going to continue to catch up with you all though! Hopefully one day we'll try for number 3 but for now I'm enjoying the thought of a new challenge and focusing on something new! 

Love to you all ladies xxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Marge, I'm glad you're starting to feel more positive  .

Lollie, good luck on your return to education.  I hope it all goes well for you.

I've been dr since Monday now. Had a few nosebleeds at the beginning but been fine for the last couple of days.  The fuzzy head that I always had whilst sniffing has returned but otherwise, I've been okay.  I've not much else going on treatment-wise until AF arrives which probably won't be for another week or so.

Have a good weekend all.


----------



## margesimpson

Bubbles - how's dr going?

Lollie - that totally sounds like the right decision for you right now. You sound so clear in your mind and excited about the future! All the best for your interview - it's all in the preparation they say! 

Kuki - how are you doing? The mind is good at playing tricks on us, but maybe some time is just what you need to know how you're feeling and what you want.


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi Marge.  I'm doing okay on the nasal spray, thanks.  I've no idea if it's working as I'm not due in clinic until CD5 or 6 and AF isn't due to arrive until Sunday. So I'm just sniffing every 8 hours but otherwise just getting on with a life of school runs, play sessions with DD, after school activities and housework.  I seem to have got rid of the fuzziness and nosebleeds so all is good.

Hope everyone else is okay.


----------



## Kuki2010

Bubblicious,
Glad you are feeling better.. Soooo excited for you.. 

Marge,
How is it going? Will you find out sexes? I am secretly wishing I will have twins but I think my body could not coped.. 

Lollie,
Enjoy studies.. Lets hope all these focus on something else will bring no3 naturally.. 

I slept a little last night. Sasha only woke up twice. Feels incrediable. But woke up at 5 and still up. I have swallen eyes. 
Cos of all the pills for getting my body ready for FET. Working magic and my AF came in 30 days.. Instead of 32. Now thinking to do it in May14. But lets see how Sasha does with her sleeps. We are still waiting for the specialist app date for her..

Just having my morning coffee. Hoping it will pick me up so I can get on with jobs on hand.. 

Thinking of you all.

Lots of love.. Kukixxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Kiki, how did Sash sleep? Hoping that you might have reached a turning point with her.

Just a quick update from me.  I had a terrible headache yesterday but it turns out that it was my usual premenstrual headache just ten times worse with DR. So today is CD1. I have called ARGC and I'm waiting for a call back for my hysteroscopy date.  Hopefully, my bloods that day will also indicate that I'm down-revved and I can start the next stage, oestrogen tablets.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Bublicious,
Unfortunately awful nights of sleeps this week. So I am no where near to my treatment.
I am so very excited about yours though.. Thinking of you..
Lots of love and kisses. Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Poor you, Kuki.  I hope you get your specialist appointment soon and a solution to Sasha's sleeping and eating issues.

I have to go into clinic on Tuesday at 7.30am (!) for bloods, a scan and a teaching session.  I asked whether the teaching session was necessary as I'd most likely be on HRT tablets but apparently it is.  So I must remember again to take a deep breath and go with the flow.  The admin lady I spoke to said something along the lines of, "you might then need to come in on Wednesday for a hysteroscopy" so I guess, depending on my scan, one might not be needed (?). Only time will tell.  

I'm not thinking about third/fourth baby as such but just taking each stage a step at a time, otherwise, it could be quite overwhelming.  It's much easier to cope with the emotions this way.

How are you doing, Marge?


----------



## Kuki2010

Bublicious,
Yes yes.. one day at the time.. Last night was better night. But I think she was just soooo tired like me. Good luck for the hysto.. It is all go go on your end.. 
Keep it calm and relax.. Well as much as you can..

Marge,
You okay? All so quiet?

MIL and FIL are coming for lunch. Will go into kitchen and will cook for supper and lunch all at once. Wihs me luck.. Hate cooking.. 

Love and luck to you all. Kukixxx


----------



## margesimpson

Hiya,

Sorry so quiet, still struggling with sickness. Still struggling with the idea of twins too to be honest. I was so desperate for a third but now were actually expecting fourth too, it's overwhelming. We've started to tell people and we're getting some pretty mixed responses and that just increases my panic. How on earth will we cope? How will be go out for lunch? On day trips? Are holidays abroad even possible? will our friends find us all to much to have round? How will we afford the child care? I know the sickness doesn't help with this negativity and I really hope noone is offended because you know how much I wanted this pregnancy. Dh hit it on the head though - we fought so hard to get pregnant and then life throws a curve ball and its twins on our last try. Sorry, but where else can I admit this? I can hardly even admit it to myself. I'm so ashamed. 

Bubbles - it's so hard to go with the flow, but it does help to keep stresses down. Just think each step is one step closed to your goal. Good luck for Tuesday. Would you prefer to have a hysteroacopy just in case or not?

Kuki - sorry to hear you're still struggling with the sleeping. Lack of sleep really messes with you so much mentally and physically. Did they given you any idea of how long you have to wait for specialist appt?

Mx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi Marge, of course, you're feeling overwhelmed, it's come as a major shock that will take time to sink in.  No wonder you're all over the place emotionally with this unexpected news as well as the severe sickness. I'm pretty sure that you'll be just fine, like most other people, you'll be able to adapt and manage in your given situation.  And babies grow up and with every new phase, the older ones become more independent, the little ones learn to play with each other and need less of your focussed attention.  There's support out there if you know where to look, tips from other Mums, twin clubs etc.

I'm having two frosties transferred, if, of course they both defrost, so I could be in a similar situation.


----------



## Kuki2010

Darling Marge,
Please don't be ashame... It is sooooo normal to feel like you do.. It is a huge jump.. From 3to4th...
You will cope you will see. And there is huge help out there. You just have to be prepare to ask for it. Don't suffer in silence.. 
Financially yes it will be tight. but a bit of organisation and lots of second hand things.. It will be fine.. Childcare costs goes up after 2 children anyways.. So you will have to have a nanny instead of nurseries etc.. 
Not feeling well not helping at the mo..You will see all will fall into its place.. I am sure.
Sending you huge cuddles and billions of positive energy.. 
I have exactly same worries.. Even with just one more baby.. Cos we are already on such a tight budget cos I have not worked since Lara was born.. And I have to go back to work in 2018 latest. Cannot take more than 10 years of career break really. Nobody will employ me fullstop.. 
Please come here and rant away.. We understand.. What ever it is.. 
Love. Kukixxx

Bubblicious,
I will defrost 4 and put the rest in. Well My eggs were 42 years old when they were taken. I so doubt very much if there is one okay left in the batch.. But still hoping who knows maybe..
Thinking of you.. Good luck for tom..  Mxxxx


----------



## Bubblicious

So I had my bloods and scan today. My scan showed a thin lining as desired but it was done by another doctor, who also saw the suspected polyp and said I should definitely have a hysteroscopy.  However I can't book that as my blood results show that I'm not fully DR so it's another few days of sniffing for me until I have my bloods and scan repeated.  I'm sniffing more often, too so I've set my alarm for a 4am dose.  Boy, this is not as easy as I expected!  Can't really complain though ...


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,

Thanks for all the advice and support, it's so wonderful to have this place to come to and share my worries.

Kuki - you might be right about the nanny. I need to look into whether I could get one for only two days a week. I def don't wont to give up work completely as my post would just be lost and it would be so hard to get another job at te same level in this city.

Bubbles - shame they found the polyp as it does add another wee hurdle but it does sound quite straight forward procedure and it will give you the best chance of treatment working. Bit of a pain having to sniff in the middle of the night. It all ramps up the stress levels I'm sure.

Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Bubbles,
I hope that lining becomes very thick and lush very soon.. Hanging there...

Marge,
There is a Will! There is a Way.... AS long as we have our health and loved one.. The rest will make do.. Stay positive..

Love to you both. 
Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Quick one from me ... Thursday's scan was all good except for that pesky polyp but the blood results still showed that my oestrogen levels are still not low enough for the next stage so I'm back in for bloods only tomorrow morning at 9am. Fingers crossed that I can progress next week.


----------



## margesimpson

Bubbles - good luck for tomorrow. Do you live quite near the clinic? It's such a quick appt for just bloods that you'd be ao frustrated id is was an hours drive away! If your levels are low enough what's next? The hysteroscopy?

Hi kuki - trying to stay positive but still slipping into panic mode at times. I think it's in my nature to worry.  

Mx


----------



## Bubblicious

Thanks, Marge.  As the crow flies, the clinic is not far but getting there is another matter.  It generally takes about an hour and ten minutes.

I had my call back regarding my blood test today and I'm finally down-regged so I'm in tomorrow for my hysteroscopy and possibly a polypectomy.  Then, all being well, I'll be starting on Progynova oestrogen tablets.


----------



## Bubblicious

Hope everyone is okay.

Marge, how are you doing?

Kuki, have you managed to get any better sleep lately?

I'm back in clinic tomorrow following my hysteroscopy/polypectomy on Monday and having been on oestrogen since Monday evening.  I think I'll probably be there every other day or so now while they track the progress of my lining.  I think you can be on oestrogen for anything from seven to 14 days before you're ready and I'll only have been on it for four days so it's still early days.

Ladies, I must admit that I feel quite detached from the process, like I'm going through the motions but not really invested in it.  It's weird.  I think it's because I don't want to get my hopes up that I'm not even daring to think about what the outcome could be.  There was a time I was broody and thinking about the possibility of my frosties being babies quite often.  And I also felt strongly that I had a moral obligation to give them a chance of life.  Strangely, I'm troubled by doubt now just as things are moving on.  Perhaps it's just a coping mechanism.....


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Ladies,

Marge, how are you feeling? Any better?

BB,
It is probably the best thing.. I had a coffee reading today. Again I have been told my 3rd baby will be on way soon. 

Thinking of u both.

Lots of love.Kuki xxxx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi ladies, just wanted to ask if I can join you ?. I feel guilty posting on other threads as I'm so blessed with my two boys. We have started treatment and hoping for another miracle although its not the end of the word if it doesn't happen. I'm day 6 of D/R and feeling a little low.

Bubblicious I think we are on similar dates x hope your scans are going ok.

I hope you can offer help and advice along the way.

Love to all
Luce x


----------



## margesimpson

Welcome Luce - it's great you've found this thread, because I think we've all felt a little guilty trying for more than two children after infertility. I see so many families with three children and why should that not be an option with fertility issues? 

Kuki - feeling rather better thanks, the meds have got the sickness under control now although still feel groggy and dizzy. Going to try a few hours at work in Wednesday as I feel I have to start trying to get on with my life.

Is a coffee reading the same idea as tea leaves? Sounds promising!

Bubbles - I was the very same but all the reasons for going again are still there, it's just nerves and self preservation. You might want to have a wee chat with dh though about how you'd feel if both embies took - just in case you join me on the twins thread next!   Are you still going in as often?

Mx


----------



## lucemazza

Thank you Marg, it's so nice to know you all understand. Hope you are doing ok. Sickness is so debilitating good luck at work this week.

We are having the debate over one or two put backs personally I think two as I had two last time only one worked and the time before none worked. The clinic are just saying wait and see what happens.

I can't believe how things have changed in the IVF world in the three years since I've done it. Had the propel last Tuesday it wasn't too bad but that's all new also the glue?  I've not  heard of that before. 

Anyway best pretend to be a domestic goddess and do some dinner.

Thanks again
Luce x


----------



## Kuki2010

Luce,
Hello hun, lots and lots of luck.. 

Marge,
It is turkish coffee. So person who reads it look at the shapes of the coffee on the tiny mugs.. Well they are not mugs really. So glad you are feeling a bit more human.. Hanging there lady.. 

Sasha has slept in her own cot and did not wake up once. Stired up a little a few times but did not woke up.. It is first ever.. So I am hoping we are getting there slowly. Still not eating anything solid. Holds it in her mouth and spits out ten or twenty mins later.. The specialist app is in at the end of April. I will wait till than and make decision for FET timing.

Sending lots and lots of luck to you all.

Love. Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Kuki, I'm so glad you've made a breakthrough on the sleeping front.  Long may it continue.  At least with a good night's sleep, you can function better and address the other things that are worrying you.

Marge, it's good news that you're feeling better if a little groggy. Onwards and upwards.  DD was one of two embies so I guess the same could happen.  Perhaps, my body is not made to have twins.  However, I have discussed things with DH should we end up with twins and he has spoken about the kids and I moving closer to family and him remaining in London for the working week (not likely to happen) or possibly finding money in our budget for a mother's help for a day or two each week which could be a possibility depending how much one costs.

Welcome, Luce.  I also feel that I shouldn't be on other threads here.  I feel guilty whenever I'm in clinic, like I have no right to be there.  I just try to keep a low profile there.  I started DR on 27th Jan but I take ages to DR so I might be a bit ahead of you.  I've been on HRT for a week.  Let us know how you're getting on.  Good luck.

AFM, I went for a scan this morning and all was looking good.  I've been asked to go back for bloods on Friday.


----------



## cruicky2

Hello ladies, I wonder whether I might join you? We had our triplets on our 5th attempt, they were born 19 months ago, and we have now been trying for almost a year to have a sibling. We have now done 4 more attempts and no luck so far. It took me a long while to pluck up the courage to go on my clinic's current cycling thread, but I did finally after having gone thru an ectopic pg on my own in July-Aug last year. I felt I needed the support, but at the same time felt so guilty confessing that we want another baby when we have been so very blessed with our three. 
But I am dying to be pg for a second time and we both really want another baby in our lives. 
We are currently preparing for our tenth attempt next month.
I hope it is ok for me to join.
Much love,
C xxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi Cruicky, of course you are welcome here.  Are you having a fresh cycle?  It must be tricky juggling three and treatment.  I'm have to have fairly frequent clinic visits with having medicated FET at ARGC and it's been a bit of a headache sorting out childcare while also organising school runs.


----------



## cruicky2

Thank you Bubblicious. 
Yes, it will be a fresh cycle. We live in Switzerland but have been going to Greece (Serum) ever since our 5th and successful attempt. So it is fairly easy with the trio. Twice we have been over for 10 days with them, then last time I went over on my own for scans on day 8 of stimms and stayed till EC (DH joined me for that) then we flew back between EC and ET, to spend time with the little ones, who stayed with their nanny. 

xxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi ladies, hope you are all ok and having a nice Saturday evening.

I have a stinking cold and have no chance of a much needed lie in tomorrow as I have to go into clinic for bloods and a scan first thing.  I was told my oestrogen was in the 700s on Friday and asked if I had my cyclogest ready so I'm guessing this means I might be moving on to the next stage soon.  The next stage is cyclogest for 2-5 days then transfer.  Do you think having a cold will affect anything ? I'm hoping it'll be gone by ET as I'm feeling pretty lousy.


----------



## Bubblicious

So had my results and am going to start cyclogest tonight.  It could all be happening soon.  The nerves are definitely setting in.


----------



## cruicky2

Oh wow Bubblicious!! How exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## margesimpson

Bubbles - I had a stinking cold for diui. I'm now superstitious that a battered immune system means extra fertile! Hope that's the case for you too!  

Hi cruicky! Welcome and here's counting down to next Month's cycle for you!

Mx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi ladies - hope you have all had a nice weekend, they tend to fly by we have had swimming lessons Beavers and kids parties and not to mention my mums 60th birthday celebrations Friday night. 

Bubbles - sorry to hear you are unwell.. So hard when you can't rest though. Exciting times though xxx 

Marg I hope you are right I've been full of cold since last Wednesday I just cannot shift it tomorrow is my baseline scan so hoping to start Gonal F tomorrow night. Our little man has gone to my parents for the night so I'm off to bed now. He isn't a great sleeper even though he is two still wakes Up around 2am sometimes again at 4 Nanny has the pleasure of that tonight. 

Sorry for the quick post. Been an emotional week with the D/R making me quite tearful and a bit nuts at times. 

Speak to you all soon.
Luce x


----------



## Bubblicious

Thanks, ladies.

Marge, hope all goes well at your scan today.  Will you be finding out the sex?

Luce, good luck for your scan today, too. Hope you'll be starting stimms tonight as planned.


----------



## Bubblicious

After just one progesterone blood test, I've been told to go in tomorrow for transfer  .  Wish me luck  .


----------



## lucemazza

Oh wow Bubbles that's exciting - no time to think about it really which is probably a good thing. Good luck. X I do so prefer a natural cycle these drugs are playing havoc with my body this time.

Started stims last night I'm on a low dose as tend to respond a little too well.
On a sad note DH sperm result wasn't great yesterday the embryologist wants another one on Monday as said it wasn't good enough for icsi  I'm a little scared I will go through all this and then have to stop treatment - any thoughts ladies.? It's the motility which isn't great. He has poly cystic kidneys and the combination of tablets he is on doesn't help plus op for non descending testicle as a child means the quality isn't great.


Just finished pancake tossing DH away tonight so it's me and the boys.

Bubbles good luck tomorrow.

Love to all
Luce x


----------



## margesimpson

Wow bubbles - that was quick. Seems like your body knows exactly what to do. Fingers crossed for transfer and then it's into the dreaded 2ww! We'll be here for you!

Luce - we were told that so long as there's sperm twitching they can use it for icsi but I suppose that's only when that the best there's ever going to be. Check with the male factor thread in case there's any advice. It might reassure you that even with poor motility, icsi still works.


----------



## cruicky2

Bubbles - how exciting!! Will be thinking of you tomorrow... and the days after! 
Luce - sorry can't help with advice there. I hope you manage to find more out.  
xxx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Ladies,
Just very busy over here with Sasha's cold. It has been hard week.
Came to wish lots and lots of luck to bubbles.. Thinking of you..

Love to you all. Will catch up properly when there is more time and energy.
Kukixxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Thanks for the thoughts and shout outs today.  I'm officially PUPO with two frosties, one which thawed 100%, one which thawed 95%.  They didn't give me any further information on quality and I kind of thought, why bother asking as I'll know soon enough (they were both lower quality than the two transferred in my fresh cycle and those weren't top quality).  OTD is next Saturday as they were six day blasts so it's not a full 2ww.  I'm feeling nothing except for tiredness but I'm still battling my cold.  I came home with loads of drugs; Clexane, Aspirin, Progesterone injections, oestrogen tablets so I'm psyching myself up to injection time.  I hope it's all worth it  .

Luce, fingers crossed that your DH's results improve.

Kuki, hope Sasha gets rid of her cold soon.

Marge, hope you're doing okay, that the sickness has abated and you're feeling happier.


----------



## Kuki2010

Bubbles,
Soooo exciting!!! Just rest up and make yourself happy in anyways possible so you can help for miracle creation.. Thinking of you.. What are you doing today?

I had a bad night with Sasha.. Well still will go for May but still very scared.. 

Love and luck to you all.

Kukixx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi how is everyone ?.

Had my scan today and all the follicles are growing ok. DH sa was a lot better today too so all was going well. Tonight my DS has opened the car door whilst a car coming he is fine wish I could say the same about my door. The car he hit needs a new door and wing mirror so now I've the added stress of sorting all of this out. Not a happy bunny but hey it's just metal. 
In much need of a glass of wine x

Back for a scan Friday.

Hope all is well with you all.


----------



## Bubblicious

Luce, great news about your scan and DH's results.  Sorry about your car, I hope you get this sorted out soon.  Good luck for your next scan.


----------



## Kuki2010

Luce,
Glad DS was okay.. What a stress. Hope you get the car things solved.. And go back to relaxed state before ET.Wishing you lots o fluck.

Bubblicious,
How are you feeling?

Marge,
You are so quiet? All okay?

Sasha has got better on sleeping. Only wakes up twice a night. Eating still not great. DH has signed his new job contract. He isserving his 3m notice at the mo. Will start his new job in June. I think I will try embies in May but I have to say still I change my mind every day.. When this will get clear?

Love to you all.

Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Kuki, I hope the good sleeping improves to great sleeping.

Yes, Marge, hope all is okay.

I'm feeling okay, thanks, Kuki.  I had sharp pains in the early hours of Friday morning, like quite strong stomach cramping.  This lasted about ten minutes then stopped.  That was about forty hours post six day transfer.  Apart from that ... nothing.

With DS, I had no symptoms until nine or ten weeks and with DD, I felt a bit faint and almost like I had a urinary tract infection starting the day before testing.  So I'm trying not to analyse things too much.

Yesterday, I checked out tandem buggies online but also hotels (we promised ourselves a big holiday if it doesn't work) so I don't really know what I'm thinking about it all.

I have a blood test on Saturday but I'm thinking of POAS in the morning before going so that the call is not too much of a shock as we're out with family who don't know about our treatment.


----------



## cruicky2

Bubblicious - really feel for you being on the 2ww... stay strong! 

AFM - after ten days of caring for my son (croup followed by gastroenteritis) with 3 visits to A&E in 5 days with DH on a business trip and my 77 year old mother arriving then DH's parents landing on me.... AF finally arrived today so I had a lastminute trip to gynae's for a scan and am starting stimms tomorrow! It has suddenly hit me that we are going to be cycling again. Our clinic is in Athens, so we are currently discussing dates, flights, hotels and baby care for the trio! 

xxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi everyone.

Cruiky, sorry that your son hasn't been well. Glad he is better now.  Have you managed to get yourself organised for cycling?  I hope stimming is going okay.


----------



## cruicky2

Bubblicous - yes, I started stimming yesterday! Yesterday and today I am working in the evenings so I had to go off to the loos in the hotel where my meeting is taking place and prepare all the shots on the bathroom floor. I had 5 injections to give myself and although I was stuck there for ages filling syringes I was very pleased with myself as I had never given myself an injection until my last cycle and 5 in one go was a first!

How are you feeling today

Right, off to the loo for today's stimms!!!!!
Xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Luce - thank goodness noone was hurt! good luck for the scan tomorrow.
Bubbles - will you test tomorrow as its only one day early or wait till Saturday am? Best of luck! Will have everything crossed for you!
Cruicky - goodness as I'd things weren't stressful enough. What we put ourselves through to have treatment!

Kuki - hope Sasha is letting you get some sleep and things are becoming clearer for you.
Afm - gradually feeling human again. Mx


----------



## Bubblicious

Luce, good luck for your scan tomorrow.

Marge, I'm glad you're starting to feel more human.  I won't be poas tomorrow.  I'll do it on Saturday morning before I head out for the blood test. I'll be 10dp6dt by then!  I guess I could have done it this morning or tomorrow but I'm too scared tbh.  I'm putting it off until the last possible moment.


----------



## Kuki2010

Bubblicious, thinkiing fo you.. Will have a look first thing in the morning.      

Marge, so glad you are feeling better.. Do you know what you are having?

Luce, good luck with your scan.. 

Cruicky, you poor thing.. Exact my worries.. Not sure how I will cope in next coming months.. But I almost want to do it to draw the line and get close to be being at peace with me and world..

Love and luck to you all.. Kukixxx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi ladies how is everyone ? Hope the sun is shining where you are.

So we just had scan and its Wednesday for EC I'm a little disappointed as was hoping for Monday had all the logistics in place now that's all changed. They have asked for a fresh sample from DH or they will possible do the procedure to take direct retrieval. In which case we both cannot drive. Fortunately the clinic is near so a taxi back is fine but then it's collecting from school and childminder and other things. Head is spinning a little.

Anyway Bubblicious thinking of you x hope you are ok.

Marg so pleased your on the mend. Is hard work when you feel horrid and still have to carry on. Can't phone in sick when your a Mum can you.

Kuki - I think I was a little like you just wanted to get this cycle over with and then hopefully deal with the outcome and move on if not successful. I didn't want a whole year revolving around treatment and preparing myself for it.

Cruicky - how you feeling ? Hope your getting on ok with the injections. By the way impressed doing five in the toilet. Strange what you can do when you have to.

Speak to you all later 

Luce xx


----------



## Kuki2010

Luce,
Good luck for wed. I hope this thread is one lucky one for us all.. As long as we are happy, healthy and at peace ourselves at the end.. That is all it matters..

Bubbles,
Thinking of you..

Kukixx


----------



## cruicky2

Thinking of you today Bubbles!


----------



## margesimpson

Bubbles.....fingers crossed!


----------



## Bubblicious

Hi ladies.  Sadly, it was a BFN this morning.  However, rather confusingly, my hcg was six which makes it an equivocal result.  Basically, under three is a negative, over 25 is positive.  So I've been told to carry on with the meds and go for another test in the morning.  It feels like dragging out the inevitable.  Anyway, we're starting to accept that this is the end of our ttc journey so we'll be planning some holidays soon.

Good luck all.


----------



## Kuki2010

Bublicious,
Huge hugs hun.. You enjoy your precious family.. We are already so sooooo very lucky..
Love.. Kukixxx


----------



## lucemazza

Oh Bubblicious that's so sad. Makes me
Really think what a lottery this fertility treatment is. 

I'm so sorry it hasn't worked. Give your two little ones extra cuddles tonight. We are lucky to have a house full of noise mess and fun. 

Lots of love. Look after yourself

Luce x


----------



## cruicky2

Really feel for you Bubbles. The negs are so hard even when we have our little ones around us... 
But we truly are blessed to have them. 
Sending you strength and hugs. xxx


----------



## Kuki2010

We are here Bubbles, come and talk to us please. First  few months will be very hard but will get lighter.. Thinking of you.. Mxxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Thanks, Ladies.  You're the best  !  I've just had my repeat bloods and I'm waiting for a prescription for some more meds for a few days.  ARGC must still hold some hope.  I, on the other hand, am not picking up my meds until I've had the call back as I don't have as much faith.

Enjoy the wonderful weather we're having.


----------



## margesimpson

Bubbles - I'm so sorry.   I'll keep hoping for you though if the clinic think its not over yet.  

Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi,
Sasha is asleep. I will feed her and than off we go to Park.. To enjoy the sunshine..

Love. Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Sadly,  it is officially over as my hcg today was three.  It looks like it was a chemical pregnancy.  I have one last blood test to do on Tuesday to make sure that the hcg has come right down and then, I'm waving goodbye to ARGC.  It's time to start planning for other things for our future, perhaps an exotic holiday, a fabulous new job, who knows.  I'll be keeping an eye on you all, wishing you future success.


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Ladies,
I just booked our summer holidays. And we will fly to Turkey for August. Not going to do FET till september now..
Oh well. At least I will enjoy summer with my darling girls. And deal with FET results after.. Won't spoil our summer in one way another. 
Love. Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

Kiki, glad you have made a decision about when to do FET.  In the meantime, I hope Sasha's sleeping and eating improves lots.  Lovely to have a holiday to look forward to.  We're looking into having an exotic getaway this year, too.


----------



## lucemazza

Hi all. 

Bubbles so sorry to hear that it's all over. Exotic holidays sound lovely. 
We have booked to go to Mexico in May for ten nights so I will let you know what it's like. I'm looking forward to some family time. A friend recommended this place it's called Playa Car I'm hoping the boys will love it. 

Kiki turkey will be lovely. My parents go all the time and always enjoy it. Will he super
Hot in August though. 

I'm off for EC tomorrow so will hopefully be feeling a bit better as I'm so bloated and
Waddling along. 

Anyone doing anything nice for Easter ?


----------



## cruicky2

Bubbles - so sad to read your post, thankfully you sound like a pretty organised and optimistic person and it will be nice to have things to look forward to!

Kuki - how exciting to have booked your holidays. We are not planning anything exotic until we have achieved our bfp 

Luce - I will be thinking of you tomorrow! I know what you mean about waddling around. I am on day 7 of stimms today and feeling pretty bloated!

Flying to Athens tomorrow, getting excited but terrified at leaving my darlings behind for a week... I have never been away from them for so long...
xxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Good luck, Luce and Cruicky.


----------



## Kuki2010

Luce,
Good luck hun for today. Thinking of you..

Ladies,
I am originally from TR. Istanbul. So for easter we are going to Istanbul for 3 weeks. Really looking forward to it. But in summer we go to south of Turkey. Datca. Near to Bodrum and Marmaris. To mum's summer home.. We are very lucky girles.. 

Have to go and do Asda shopping. We have nothing left in the fridger or freezer.. Will catch p properly later.

Love and luck to you all. Kukixx


----------



## lucemazza

So we had egg collection today I managed 14 eggs so hopefully we will get a few fertilised. Feeling rather sore almost like I've done too much at the gym.. If only hey

Hope all well with you all.

Off to catch an early night x

Luce


----------



## margesimpson

Luce - wow well done! What a batch! Good luck with fertilization.

Cruicky - good luck in Athens! The kids will be fine, it'll be you that is a wreck!

Hi and hugs all,
Mx


----------



## cruicky2

Luce - well done! Amazing result! 

AFM - arrived in Athens on day 8 of stimms today, had scan and it has been a bit of a blow as we have gone fm 11 follicles at the antral follicle scan to 3 decent-looking follicles today. I know it is quality over quantity and that it only takes one, but we aren't even at egg collection yet, and performance seems to be going down every time we cycle 
Plus I need to stimm longer than expected so it will be even longer away fm home.
Feeling seriously low, it was bad enough leaving DH and babies this morning...

xxx


----------



## lucemazza

Thanks ladies. 

Cruicky try not to stress too much - I know easier said than done. You must feel so
Strange without your little people but it will be worth
It. 

When I had first Ivf attempt I got 3 eggs and I was just 24 - I'm proof it only takes one. 

I hope things get better. 

Luce xx


----------



## Bubblicious

Well done, Luce.  Hope you get some great embryos from those eggs.

Cruicky, stay  .  I understand your worries but I  that your follies produce some quality embryos for you.  Must be hard being away from DH and little ones but in the big scheme of things , it's only a short time.  Sending you a hug.


----------



## lucemazza

Hi all - thanks for the well wishes we managed 7 fertilised and so far 3 are good and 4 are average. Will wait for another phone call tomorrow to find out when transfer will be. So possible tomorrow or Monday. 
Then hopefully if enough are still with us to decide 1 or 2. 

Help? This is our last fresh cycle I don't want to put my
Body through it again. So what would you all do?1 or 2. 

Any advice welcome. 

Luce x


----------



## margesimpson

Luce - only you will know what feels right of course, but as someone still adjusting to the idea of two more in the family, think honestly about how it would affect your life if both took. Think how you'd feel if you didn't try with both. Could you freeze the others for a fet later?  It's so hard to gauge how you really feel with the hormones raging and the roller coaster of fertility treatment making your head spin. At the end of the day you should make the decision based on what you want your family to be. If you only want one more child, perhaps putting only one back is the sensible thing to do. 

At our first scan when we found out it was twins, our sonographer was a bit blunt saying well how many did we tell you to put back?  As if impatient with our shock!  then we explained it was iui and she shut up, but she obviously viewed putting more than one back as risky if you don't want two children.

On the other hand, if you'd care to join me in crazy twin land, go for it! we can learn to juggle and embrace the chaos together! Good luck with the thinking.  

Cruiky - how's it going with you?


----------



## lucemazza

Well I'm in for transfer today so I have decided to have two put in. The others aren't doing so well and I just want to know I did my best. What will be will be. A little gutted we didn't make it to blast but relived we have a chance.

Thanks for your support through this crazy time.

Luce xx


----------



## Bubblicious

Luce, stay positive.  They're back in their rightful place.  Sending lots of baby dust.  For me, there was never a question about whether to put in one or two,  DD was the only one of two that made it.  Good luck, my dear.

Afm, we have booked ourselves a romantic night away in the Cotswolds for a bit of r & r.  We've decided to try naturally for a little while (you never know) but I'm keen not to get to that point again where ttc starts dominating our lives.  We'll give a few months then plan that exotic getaway.


----------



## cruicky2

Luce - I am sorry you didn't make it to blast but at least your two little ones are in the right place now, hoping they are snuggling up and making themselves very much at home! 

Bubblicious - Cotswalds sounds wonderful, I have always wanted to go there! Have fun! 

AFM - we had EC this morning and got 5 eggs, so better than the 3 we were expecting though very low for us, but we are remaining positive. We haven't a clue whether to do 3 day or 5 day transfer. The only 3-day we have done with her, it worked but we got an ectopic. The first 5-day ever gave us our trio, but they have all been BFNs/chemicals since... So it's the risk of keeping them out when they may be better inside me vs. the risk of another ectopic... And Penny is totally undecided.
It is our wedding anniversary today so had a lovely dinner out and tomorrow morning setting off very early for the beautiful island of Hydra!  Leaving on Tuesday either to come back to Athens for 3-d transfer or to go to another island till 5-day! 
xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Luce - they'll be nestling in by now hopefully. So glad you were able to feel what was right for you. So now the wait begins!  

Cruicky - you've good reason to stay positive. Sorry but I'm no help with ivf quandries as we've always been iui, what do the clinic suggest? Happy wedding anniversary!

Bubbles - good to hear from you. Hope you have a lovely wee break. You deserve it. 

Romance? I can almost remember what that was!


----------



## Bubblicious

How are things going all?


----------



## cruicky2

Hi Bubbles- well day1 after EC we had 4 embies. The island was amazing, no vehicles allowed, just donkeys! We went on an 8hour walk in the hills on the second day, still stiff now! 
We got a call on day2 after EC to say that the 5th egg had fertilised too, we couldn't believe it, we have never had 100% fertilisation!
So had day3 transfer yesterday and now just got to sit back and wait (as long as I can, though I have got into the bad habit of testing early...)

How's everyone else?
Xxx


----------



## Kuki2010

Luce and Cruicky, thinking of you both and wishing you lots and lots of luck!!!

Marge, how ar eyou feeeling?

Bubbles, enjoy trying for no3...

I am going to do it now in Sep. I have to do it than.. I cannot delay it any later.. 

Life is very busy with all happening at the same time. Just trying to get into mood for our Easter trip to TR.. 

Will write before we take off.. 

Wishing all of you a superb mother days on sunday..

Love. Kukixx


----------



## margesimpson

Wow cruicky - 100% well done you! Do you put them all back or just some and freeze the rest?

Luce - how you holding up?

Bubbles - hiya babe. How are you? 

Kuki - great you've got a plan, but why do you feel you have to do it then?

Afm - lots of kicks and my goodness it's a tiring business with two already at home. 
Mx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi All, thanks for the well wishes. I'm doing OK trying not to think about things too much although easier said than done. 

I'm training to be a reflexologist so I've been to
College today  that was a good distraction. Slightly concerned DH flies off to Abu Dhabi on Sunday until Friday so the days may drag then. 

Marg - exciting you are feeling kicks but I can imagine quite tiring. Are you getting much sleep?  Hope you get to put your feet up even just for ten minutes can make a difference. 

Bubbles - how you doing ? Hope your ok. 

Cruicky - when will you test ? Fantastic 100% fertilisation really nice news. 

Kuki - September will come around fast it's nice to have it set so you can just enjoy life a little until the time comes. 

So school was closed today so Ds1 went to work with Daddy he has had a fabulous day and wants to go again tomorrow. Amazing what earning £10 can do to them. 

Anyone got any diet tips for TWW ? I'm drinking milk pineapple juice etcxx. 

Thanks 
Luce


----------



## cruicky2

Luce - yes pineapple juice and some say lots of milk...


----------



## margesimpson

Luce - chocolate seemed to work for me!


----------



## lucemazza

Help! 
Beware rant alert.. 

Feeling crappy just had parents evening. Ds1 is 6 excelling in every subject and doing work of two years above in Maths and literacy. Though apparently has attitude issues as he questions the teacher and says she "doesn't explain things properly " or asks why she has set certain tasks. Hmm now she then adds its only been the past few weeks. It could therefore be my fault as been short with him at times through treatment. I don't know what to do now.. 

He is a confident boy who is very articulate so I do feel he is trying to express himself just perhaps in the wrong way.

Any tips ? 

Luce


----------



## Bubblicious

Well done on being PUPO, Cruicky.

Luce, I'm not sure what to advise.  My DS is also 6 and as he's my oldest, I sometimes worry if I'm doing the right thing by him.  I'm a better parent second time around having been through the various stages once before.  But with DS, I feel less confident, like I'm just finding my way with each new phase.  On another note, how are you finding the 2ww?

Marge, hope you're managing okay.

Kuki, it's good that you have a plan.  So you can have a few months of not constantly thinking about treatment or analysing for the purpose of reaching a decision now that the decision has been made.  You can concentrate on other things for a while.

AFM, my BFN has really put me into a "what next?" state of mind.  So many questions; do I want to go back to work? do I want to learn something new? am I enough for DD or does she need more?  I feel a bit lost at the moment but I think what I need is a bit of time to adjust.

Sending   to Luce and Cruicky.


----------



## lucemazza

Thanks Bubbles. 

I think I'll be in your situation too if not successful. I took a career break in November as was finding work and juggling house kids school runs a bit too much. Now if I'm not having no 3 do I go back? Or try something new.

My problem with DS1 is for 4 years he was our world he has been spoilt with attention by all. First grandchild on my side and ten year gap to the next on DH side. Now he adores his little brother but think he is pushing the boundaries at times. He is the oldest in the class at school and I feel that doesn't help him. Basically he is used to being the "ring leader" not in a bad way but everyone follows his ideas. 

This parenting thing is so tough..

Bubbles what would you do if you had the chance to retrain.?

Cruicky - are you home with the little ones yet? 

Marg - how's it going? Have you got a date in mind to finish work ?


----------



## margesimpson

Doing ok thanks, just get exhausted really easily.

Luce - it could be that the teacher has a role to play with DS too. I know it's hard with so many kids in your class if kids start to question you, so maybe talk to DS about listening and doing what he's asked, but talk to the teacher and say you are trying to address it?

Bubbles - maybe take your time making decisions about the future, it might take time to get in touch with what you really want.

Kuki - your holiday sounds great, have a lovely time!

Cruicky - how you doing now?


----------



## Bubblicious

Thinking of those in their 2ww.


----------



## cruicky2

Thank you for your thoughts.
I have been testing out the hcg shots I was put on after ET, and I have gone fm being super nervous to getting Lower and lower. I am dreading the day the second line is so faint that I can't see it anymore and have to accept it's over. Not made  easier by the fact DH is leaving tomorrow for three days business.... I am feeling on edge and very fragile.
We have discussed the next step if this fails and we have agreed it would be 1-2 more cycles and that's it, which really makes me low... But we can't go on like this, throwing money away, pumping hormones into my body, being away fm our babies and going through more emotional rollercoasters.... 
I just so want a second pregnancy, a normal one, and a baby and sibling for the trio...

How about you Luce?
xxx


----------



## lucemazza

Hey all. 

Cruicky don't give up yet Hun. X it's early days . When is OTD ? It's a tough thing to
Do without being away from your family and in a foreign country. Keep strong. It's good you have the chance to try again if needed. I understand your want to be pregnant again. It's strange feeling to just know you aren't done yet. 

I'm ok I think. DH is away in Abu Dhabi until Friday OTD little man has gone to my parents for two nights back tomorrow so it's just me and DS1 x he is benign quite good so far. I had horrendous upset stomach Saturday night - not sure of that's my
Bodies way of rejecting the embryos but it was a tough night. I've not tested yet I've no real symptoms just slightly larger boobs but that's about it. 

Bubbles please your going to try naturally for a while who knows what can
Happen. 

How's everyone else ? Did you have a nice Mother's Day?


----------



## margesimpson

Cruicky - doesn't the HCG shot have to clear your system and then your hormones build up again? You can't really know for sure until OTD they say.

Luce - as fit me, an upset stomach feeling can be a good sign. Goodness knows why, but the worse you feel the more likely it's a positive .

Mx


----------



## Bubblicious

Keeping everything crossed for you both.


----------



## Kuki2010

Mega busy here but thinking of you darling ladies. Mxxx


----------



## lucemazza

Hey all, sorry been quite had a poorly litte Lucas last few days   he has been very miserable and just wants to lie on me all day. Still he is normally like a hurricane so hopefully will be back to normal ASAP.

OTD tomorrow x can't believe it's here but what will be will be. 

Thanks for all your well wishes 

Luce x


----------



## cruicky2

Luce, wishing you the very best of luck tomorrow!!!!!!! 

AFM, I kept watching the 2nd line on HPTs getting fainter and fainter as the hcg shots left my body. Resigned to a bfn, I went for bloods yesterday at 8dp3dt and they came back at 49! Had them redone today just to make sure, and it's 73, so we have a BFP!!!!! 
We are over the moon!    
Just wishing DH was here, he was due home tonight after 3 days in Paris, and has just called to say the plane had a technical problem so he won't be flying till tomorrow now. Oh well, we will celebrate tomorrow evening  

Thinking of you Luce and praying you get good news tomorrow too! 
xxx


----------



## lucemazza

Oh wow Cruicky xx fabulous news.. Xx well done. Really happy for you   

Mr K is flying back from Abu Dhabi tonight I'm hoping will be walking through the door by 9am tomorrow. If he doesn't I'm doing it alone well with Lucas no doubt watching me,

Xx


----------



## Bubblicious

Congratulations, Cruicky.  That's fantastic news.

Good luck, Luce.


----------



## lucemazza

Hi Ladies x well it's a BFP for us. Very mixed emotions today happy yet nervous and worried all at the same time. The chemical a few
Years back has made me stress a little.  My clinic don't do bloods so its just the pee sticks. Scan booked for 24th April so fingers crossed all will be well.

Thanks so
Much for all of your support over the past few weeks. Couldn't of
Got through this without you

Love to all 
Luce xx


----------



## margesimpson

Congratulations cruicky! 

And Congratulations Luce!

I was just typing a reply when yours came through! It's hard to trust that its true but you are def pregnant until proven otherwise!

Mx


----------



## Kuki2010

Ladies,
I am over the moon for you both.. Fantastic day.. 
Will keep on checking from Istanbul.
I always find  2 week wait for scan unbearable.
Love. Kukixxx


----------



## Bubblicious

Congratulations, Luce!!


----------



## margesimpson

Has it sunk in for either you at all yet? Or still a bit dazed?


----------



## cruicky2

Luce - so pleased for you!!!!!! What wonderful news! 24 April is a long time to wait with no bloods but hopefully you can see the line getting stronger and stronger 

Marge- it is kind of sinking in, though I'm get nervous as soon as I haven't had confirmation of my pregnancy for 24h (HPT or bloods). I'm going to be travelling most of next week so I'm going to have to go 4 days with no bloods and I don't know how I'll cope with that! 

Can't wait for a scan, I'll call my gynae on Monday and hope to get one for the week of the 21st. 
 

xxx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi all. I still haven't quite got my head around things. Probably won't until the scan now. At least I've got the holidays to keep me busy so we have
Lots going on. 

Looking for a uk weekend break somewhere next weekend. Anyone recommend anywhere ? We are based in North London and don't want to travel more than 3 hours of we can help it.. 

Hope you are all well. Cruicky take it easy with the travelling. 

Marg thanks for thinking of me. 

Lots of love to all.


----------



## velma99

Hi ladies,

Can I please join you. Amazing to come to this thread and see two lovely BFPs.  Congratulations and here's to many more to come.  

As my signature shows I am very blessed to have two lovely boys which is beyond what we could have hoped for at one point in our journey when dh had a failed sperm retrieval op.  However I have some (well many) conflicting feelings about moving on.  Part of me says okay move on now and enjoy what you have another part though is desperate to be pregnant again and have a new born.  I even find myself calculating when I might have grand kids and hoping I can look after them!!  

Problem is ICSI is only chance we have to get pregnant and there are so many reasons against trying again.  Money, age, physical and emotional health, work etc.  my own mother told me to get over it and she does not understand.  She keeps trying to give my baby stuff to people and thinks I am mad for saying know.  She is a very domineering woman who it took me years to break free from and who both my brother and sister moved many miles away to escape.  Should be able to ignor and handle it by now but for some reason it is bringing up lots of old insecurities.

I am so jealous of those who just get pregnant we are trying naturally and I pray for a miracle but really not much hope.

Sorry for the rant and mad free form expressing I am not always so down and moany. I know if I had read this five years ago I would have said lucky cow as I desperate to have even one child then.

Love
Velma


----------



## margesimpson

Hi Velma and welcome! It's a really tough decision whether to go for more children when we feel so blessed to have two already but what the heart wants the heart wants! Yes money, work health and sanity are all factors but if you know you want your family to be a certain way it's really hard to give up on that dream. It seems unfair that we should be further restricted by infertility. 

But be sure it is what you want for your family and its not just the usual cluckyness which will pass. Three children is more work of course, but now I've found myself with three and four on the way, I'm aware our lives will be very different. I'm still feeling overwhelmed to be honest and it's feels a little like our infertility just twisting the knife of fate one more time. Although I'm not sure whether having twins has anything to do with our treatment or I might have had them anyway. We didn't really think it was a big risk. I just hope it'll all be fine when they're here. I'll love them and would never have it any other way. 

I'm not sure whether this will help you decide or not, but it's good to be able to come her and not feel guilty for wanting more!

Mx


----------



## velma99

Thank you so much for your reply Margesimpson and congrats on the twins.

You are so right about considering carefully the impact of having more children.  I think my mind and logical side are telling me that two is enough due to all the other considerations especially as I am the main earner in my household.  However I always imagined having three children and in my heart I cannot accept the idea of never being pregnant again or having another newborn.  As you say it is so unfair that infertility restricts us in these ways.  

I also feel so humble when I read other peoples stories on here.  All the people on here are so brave and have been through so much.  As one of these wonderful brave ladies (and men) I am sure you will do a great job with 4.  Sometimes I think it would be easier if it felt like it really was my decision to have more kids or not but in so many ways it feels the decision has / is being made for me and dh.  Not sure where to go from here.  Thinking about just giving myself a break and coming back to it next year.  I will be 40 by then but need to get some perspective and make sure if we do try again with ICSI it is truelly what we both want.  

Again thank you for your reply it is so good to talk to people who understand.

Hugs to all,

Velma


----------



## margesimpson

Hi Velma, it's sounds like a break from treatment for a while feels like the right thin for you. I know there's a real feeling of time pressure as we get older but surely with icsi the time would be useful too, if only to save up? Then if you can make the Decsion knowing its right for you, rather than as a rebellion against life telling you what family you can have, it'll give you the strength to go through it all again. And if you decide to move on as a family of four you'll have some money put aside for a great family holiday!

Anybody else have some advice as others who decided to go for number three? How do we make that decision?


----------



## Bubblicious

Hey ladies.  Luce and Cruicky, I hope everything continues to go well and you get to see your beanies soon.

Marge, hope everything continues to go well for you.

Welcome Velma,  I was in two minds about going for #3.  There was a lot to consider but morally, I felt like we had to give our frosties a chance.  Following my BFN, I realised how much I would like another however, more treatment is out of the question.  We could find the funds needed but I cannot justify using that money on pursuing a dream that has more chance of failure than of success when that money can pay for some amazing experiences for my two.  So for now, we try naturally.  I don't deny that occasionally I wonder if I'll regret not trying ICSI again but then I remind myself how I found the whole experience so incredibly intense and stressful that I really don't think I'd manage a fresh cycle with childcare for two to organise.

I think you're right to give yourself a little time to make a final decision.  Good luck trying naturally.  You never know, you might not need ICSI!


----------



## Kuki2010

Big Hello from Istanbul Ladies,
Such a lucky thread this thread. Fills me with hope for my FET.

Velma,
All have been said really. Give yourself more time. I can only say my plan and how I feel. I really love to have another pregnancy and baby. But I can not go through another fresh cycle. I don't have any power left in me for it. Will try my FET and will try to draw the line of having children. Enjoy my life with my girls and make the most of our family as family of four. Be kind to you.. Life is already so very challenging and full of suprises..

Lots and lots of love to you all ladies..
Kukixx


----------



## lucemazza

Hi ladies x had my 7 week scan today and we are super excited that we have one little
Bean on board with a very strong heartbeat. Feeling quite emotional this afternoon but happy. Hope you ladies are doing well. 

Love 
Luce xx


----------



## Kuki2010

Luca,
What an amazing news.. Sooo happy for you.. Enjoy it hun..

Any more news? Scan ladies.

We came back home last night.. Still on Turkish time. And trying to get on with things.

Love and luck to you all.. Thinking of you.. 

Kukixx


----------



## Bubblicious

How lovely, Luce.  I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

Hi Kuki, AF arrived yesterday on cycle day 37.  I had no idea when it would appear but was pretty certain it would.  Apparently, you do have a longer cycle following a bleed following a chemical pregnancy.  I've started on Zita West supplements today in the hopes that all we need for a BFP is a little boost to the system.  Hope you're okay.

Marge, Cruicky, hope all is well.


----------



## Nonnie

Hello ladiez

Apologis for butting in. Was using this thread last year and never got back on to update. Had 2 beautiful boys in december. Couldnt have went better and im busier and happier than ive ever been, as already had 2 am finally ready to hang up my fertility friends...in a good way. I guess this is called closure!

Thanks to everyone for the support and for those currently trying all the very best...this is a lucky thread


Nonnie x


----------



## Kuki2010

Oh Nonnie, so lovely to hear story.. Enjoy your precious big family.
I really believe this is a lucky thread too.
I cannot wait to write similiar to your post one day.


Ladies,
I hope you are all doing well. Thinking of you all.

Love. Kukixx


----------



## strawbs

Hi ladies, just a quick one, I feel ready now to bow out of FF and all the support i have had over the past 10 years.  Don't get me wrong I would love more children but I think I may be starting to move on.  10 years TTC, 4 miscarriages, but 3 amazing children, I feel blessed, not complete, but not sure I ever will be! I am thankful and feel blessed, maybe I can now put the ttc, hope, disappointments and sadness behind me.  Simply could not face another misc.  I look at my children and they have been worth it, I do not want to put them through it.

Good luck ladies in your dreams and hopes..........massive end of an era for me.

This has been a really lucky thread.

I may check I once in a while still!!!

Strawbs xxx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Strawbs,
So great to hear you are for once in peace with TTC and moving on. It has taken you 10 years. Who knows maybe it will be the case with me. 2 more years to go...
In sep I will try my embies and will try to draw the line. But I have to say I am dreading it.. Both ways.. 
Please do come to us and tell us how life is treating you and your precious family. Just enjoy.. Life is far too short..
Lots of love.
Kukixxx


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi,
It is me again. What happened to all our lovely preggers ladies. Is everything okay? Where is everybody?
Love and luck to you all.
Kukixx


----------



## margesimpson

Hiya,

Still lurking, but finding myself exhausted most of the time and don't want to moan on here. Just lying about this morning, feeling very lazy! Now almost 28wks and scan on Monday to heck growth etc. still not sure how will manage things with four under five but things have a way of working themselves out. Great to hear Nonnie sounding so positive. Really reassuring.

Strawbs - glad to hear you sounding so positive too. I'm sure the infertility journey leaves a little trace in us, but how wonderful to be out the other side and able to enjoy your family. Xxx

Kuki - sept will be here so soon, but I know it will feel like an age to you. 

Bubbles - the supplements at supposed to be the best why comments on here. Hope they work a little magic for you too.

Better move, feeling guilty leavin dh to do everything.


----------



## Kuki2010

Hello dear friends,
I hope it is all okay with you all.

Marge,
So so close.. When is the OTD?

Love to you all.
Kukixx


----------



## osborne

Hi ladies, 


I had been reading this thread recently - I guess it was reassuring that others weren't quite ready to move on. Well, I sit here currently 6 weeks & 2 days naturally pregnant with number 3! Dd2 is only 8 months old so whilst I can't believe our luck, I'm also somewhat nervous at just how manic life will become!


Anyway, good luck to those of you trying xxx


----------



## Keep the faith!

Hi ladies

I have been following this thread with great interest,  I had a fet in 2011 which resulted in twin girls. We decided to give it another go, not told many people we are,  for some reason they dont really understand why we would.  Anyway ended up needing to do icsi in July.  I had 2 blasts put back in & got a bfp on test day,  very happy, but as you can imagine nervous  & scared at the same time.
scan is booked for the 12th aug, thats when I will find out if its 1 or 2 babies.  Trying to be really positve.

good luck to all you ladies thinking about getting back on this crazy roller coaster of a ride.


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## candygirl

I've been following this thread too.  We've now been trying for a 3rd baby for just over 2 years, with one early miscarriage last year.  This time we haven't told anyone we are trying, and most of our friends and family think we have decided to stick with 2.  I had my final FET on 23rd July and yesterday had a very faint positive pregnancy test (it was 12 days after FET of a 5-day embryo).  I know that 'any line' is a positive, but it really was very faint indeed - but definitely a line.  Anyway am going to do another test tomorrow and am really nervous.  We're very lucky to have 2 wonderful children, but having started down the road of trying for a third baby it will still feel devastating if this one doesn't work.  We have no more sperm or embryos after this, so if I'm not pregnant then that is it for us.


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## margesimpson

Hi all,

Congratulations to Osborne, keep the faith and candy girl!!! People migh think we're crazy, but embrace the chaos I reckon and you're life will never be boring!

Our twin girls arrived as planned on July 15th, 6lbs6oz and 6lbs13oz. Neither needed special care and so we were sent home after 6 nights once feeding was established.

Our girls are three weeks old already and they are just fab! Lack of sleep etc is hard, of course, but we know this newborn phase passes so quickly and are trying to enjoy our brood as much as possible. Luckily we have family and friends that can help out.

Thanks for all your support folks, it's all been worth it.
But we're definitely done now - four is enough!


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## lucemazza

Hi all. 

Congratulations Marg - so happy for you all can't believe they are finally here. Hope you are all enjoying the madness and cuddles too

Candy girl lets hope that line is getting stronger and stronger. It's hard when you get yourself ready for the possibility of a third but don't dare to dream too much just incase. 

Osborne hope you are doing ok. We did panic that number three was going to be three and four for a few weeks but looking back I would of just seen it as meant to be and we would cope. You will too. Nobody deserves to suffer infertility and once the shock wears off you will be ok. 

Off to take No 1 to see Charlie and the chocolate factory tonight a little Mummy and Son bonding

Love to all 
Luce xx


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## candygirl

Thanks all.


Having had a very faint clearblue positive on Monday (4th), then had a negative clearblue on Wednesday (6th), but positive on an own brand test (very, very faint).  So did one more clearblue today (8th) - and there is a definitely a faint line.


So I think I really am pregnant, but the last few days have been stressful to say the least.  And I won't be able to relax about it as the last time I was pregnant I had a miscarriage before I even made it to the first scan.


Fingers crossed...


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## Kuki2010

Marge,
You had your darling girls. What a fantastic news.. Enjoy the preciuous early days. And please come and let us know how you all are doing.. And what a great size of babies.. My Sasha wasa smaller that them.. Weldone you lady.. 

Wishing you all preggers great pregnancies.. Looking foreard to positive news..

I am still trying to get my FET done in Oct or Nov. Was going to be done in Oct but now my bro will be getting married in June in next year. I might waid till nov and at least enjoy his wedding before I give birth. Will discuss with DH and see what he says.. 

Love and luck to you all. i still believe thisi a very very lucky thread.. Mxxx


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## Kuki2010

Hi all, this is the lucky thread so I keep writing.
Hope all pregnant ladies r doing well. Thinking of u all.
I am starting in next week and absolutely terrified.
Sending lots of love and PMA whoever needs it.
Kukixx


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## lucemazza

Hi All. Just wanted to let you know that baby no 3 arrived safely on Friday
28th November at 6lb 13 oz we have been truly blessed with another miracle little boy. 

Very happy - thanks for all the support
Luce xx


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## Anjelissa

Hi Luce,

Huge congratulations on birth of your baby boy  
   

I bet big bro's are so proud of their new little brother  
What a busy Christmas it's going to be in your house this year! 

Angie x


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## margesimpson

Woohoo congratulations Luce!
Embrace the chaos! Xxx


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## michaelaeloise

Hey all, thought i would bump this thread after a few months of lurking... We have been very lucky to have 2 beautiful boys from 2 lots of ICSI, both first attempts for each. The last few months i have crazily been thinking of number 3... could i be lucky enough for it work a 3rd time? Anyone else been in a similar situation? I can't believe i am even thinking of another, my 2 do not sleep!! x


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## Helen78

Hello,

I've lurked once or twice but not posted as the possibility of trying for no 3 seemed too far away but we are hoping to try again in a few months. I am going to see my GP to get some advice as following the birth of DS2 the surgeon (C section) said I had a lot of scarring and adhesions so if we tried again no 3 would defo need to be the last. I guess I want to know how worried I should be about this before taking the plunge...

Michaelaeloise- I have 2 gorgeous boys also, 1st attempt and 3rd attempt, thankfully they do sleep! lol. How old are your 2?  

xx


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## Helen78

Sorry Michaelaeloise, Just read your signature, d'oh!


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## margesimpson

Hiya all, I've been there, wanting to go for more and after a LOT of thought, we knew we would always wonder what if....
And then what a shock....twins! Now that they're here, we love them so much, but there's a lot of worry about how we will cope, especially financially.  I think infertility can give us an almost insatiable desire to have children, but if it's the right choice for you, don't feel guilty or greedy to want more, just brace yourself in case it turns out to be two more! 
I had three sections and they do take atoll on your body, but I'm slowly recovering. I have to admit though that ours have been good sleepers which makes a huge difference .
Good luck , whatever you decide xxx


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## michaelaeloise

Oh wow, good luck Helen78, i see from your signature that both of your darlings are roughly the same age as my 2 so i'm sure you know how difficult it is!! do people often ask you why you had them so close together? i get it all the time  
Thats lovely news margesimpson, i had 2 embryos transferred for both of my boys, i'd imagine i would again because of my age. How are you finding it with 4? i can imagine life is hectic! 
Yes i agree, i don't think the overwhelming urge to have children is going anywhere soon! x


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## Helen78

Evening  


Good grief Marge, that must have been quite a surprise!!   Congratulations   I'm only hoping for 1 though, I think I'd need therapy if I had a 4 year old, a 2 year old and newborn twins after another section!   I would be looking at another single embryo transfer and if we are lucky enough number 3 would be us all done  

Thanks michaelaeloise- I think we probably will give it a shot but would really like a specialist to tell me I don't have too much to worry about. DH is 100% in the lets do it camp so I'm trying to be the voice of reason! Yes, it gets a bit crazy with the 2 of them sometimes but when I see them laughing together I wouldn't change a thing. We always wanted 3 and reasonably close together and we've been incredibly lucky so far so fingers crossed...! Do you think you will try again? How much of a gap would you leave this time?

xxx


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## margesimpson

Helen - it was quite a surprise! The twins though were a fluke though. It was iui with meds to ensure only one follicle developed, rather than two embryos transferred. Apparently being slightly older (3 and having already had two pregnancies makes the Chances of twins higher. Who knew?!
Anyway best of luck what bet you decide, perhaps speak to your consultant if you can? 
Mx


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## michaelaeloise

Hi again Helen78
Glad to hear your DH is 100% too, we are still unsure. As much as i want another i'm finding our 2 little ones really difficult at the moment as both of them are up and down all night   I've just started a new part time job too but hoping the sleepless nights aren't for much longer. I would love to wait until little one is at least at nursery but we know that time is on our side, would love to be 5/10 years younger and in this position but hey ho, we have to count our blessings! 
I know my DH is happy with 2 but i also know if things improve he would happily consider the idea of number 3... Again though i've looked at the success rates and it's very disheartening to see such a big decrease the older we get, it's an expensive rollercoaster isn't it!


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## Bubblicious

I don't know where else to turn to, ladies so apologies if this is inappropriate.  I just feel so sad tonight. For some reason, it hit me that I may never have a third.  I don't know whether to get help or give up.  I told my husband that I'd be satisfied with two but I'm not ready to let go of my desire to have more.  My chances of conceiving naturally are low as I've previously needed immune treatment.  I've been using various supplements in a bid to normalise my immune system and been using Duofertility to pinpoint my fertile periods but I'm losing hope.  I've got no one to talk to about it in real life.  I'm putting on a brave front but I'm still devastated any time anyone else manages to get pregnant "just like that".  I guess, ultimately, I've never really come to terms with my fertility issues.  Am I the only one who still feels like this?


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## Helen78

Hello  

Michaelaeloise- It must be really tough with the lack of sleep hun, I'm terrible when I'm tired. Is it just at the moment that both kids are up and down or have they always been like that? I think we are the same age and I would probably leave it a little bit longer if it wasn't for time, although to be honest I think maybe I would rather have them quite close together in the hope that they will have a close relationship (although I know thats not necessarily what happens!!). I work part time too, I do 2.5 days but over 2 long days instead. My job is stressful and demanding but I quite like having the contrast   My big worries are around organisation if we have another, DS1 starts school in Sept and the school we've chosen is a drive away so trying to wrestle a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and a new born into and out of the car and park and walk to school etc.....arrrrrg! Maybe I should worry about getting pg 1st huh?!!!  

Bubblicious-   I'm sorry you're having a hard time at the moment   and if anything I ask sounds stupid and I don't know too much about immune issues.... If you've had help previously who was that from and is it viable to go back? How keen is DH for no 3 and therefore is he willing to seek help again? I let go of the idea of a miracle natural conception a long time ago. The what ifs and day dreaming when reality suggested it wouldn't happen that way for us wasn't helpful to me, I prefer to have some feeling of power and control in my own hands. I still hate being the only person in a room with 7 people in it with no pants on at the conception though....!!  

H xxx


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## Bubblicious

Thanks for the response, Helen.  I have had high natural killer cells which meant IVIG infusions prior to ET and during the first few months of my second pregnancy.  NK counts are tested regularly as they can fluctuate.  I have been told that it's not impossible to get pregnant but having not used any contraception since my nearly seven year old was 18 months old and no +ve's, it does feel impossible.  DH has said he'd love #3 if "it just happened" but isn't really keen to commit to further treatment.  That said, he has ultimately left the decision up to me.

I would love #3 naturally, too but as spending £30k (the cost of treatment for #2) would mean less spent on our two children and I feel guilty about that.

Are you planning on going back for treatment for DC3?


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## Helen78

Hi,

I think the 3rd child is a real dilemma, much more so than 1 or 2. We agreed before we started that we would try for no 1 until we were told to stop for medical reasons, we lost our minds or finances wouldn't allow. We knew that it would never be our choice to have an only child so we would always try again if we were lucky enough to have no 1. 

I find that many people I know (that don't have IF issues) consider 2 to be "the norm" and seem to wonder why we are thinking about a 3rd. I know what you mean about the guilt of having 3 reducing what the 1st 2 receive. But then randomly we were in the car a few days ago and DS1 said to me out of the blue, I will have 1 brother and 1 sister   I'm not suggesting he has special powers lol but he went onto say he would like a sister.

Anyway, we decided we would have 1 more fresh cycle and any frosties from that to have a 3rd and let it go if that doesn't work. I don't want to spend the next couple of years with either having or preparing to have more treatment taking over our lives but equally I can't quite let go yet and DH is very keen. So, we are working towards starting in May as I'm still fighting with 13lbs of weight!!! 

I can see how much harder your decision is  . I suppose if I was in your position I would weigh up how much I want it versus how much money 30k is to you (I'm not suggesting its a small sum to anyone but for some people its a possibility and to others it would be a sum that would financially hobble for many years or not be possible at all). If its do-able and the consequences aren't too severe then maybe its worth a roll of the dice? 

H xxx


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## mierran

Hi,
I am 36 weeks pregnant with no 3.

for me it is difficult esp as it's not been the easiest pregnancy.  I do feel guilty sometimes that I cannot care for my older two as I would like and their dad and grandma have had to take over more of their care. However, I don't regret at all going for no 3 - despite the fact that it took 3 transfers to get here and cost nearly 20k which is a lot of money for us. 

I still have 2embryos and we hsve already decided we cannot not give them a chance.  If it does not work we will be happy with the 3 kids. But esp as my bump is from a different egg donor as my twins, I feel I also owe it to her to try. But we have decided we will not do another fresh cycle. 

Bubbilicious - is there any way you could do it a bit cheaper.? Did you need ivig or humera, or was it pred and intralipids that worked? Most clinics will give those without all the monitoring required if ivig or humera.

How about serum in athens ? It is likely to be about half the price of argc esp given how weak euro is atm.

Good luck deciding what to do. For me I felt I had to try for no 3. I had said to myself I would probably try two fresh de cycles with different donors at different clinics and then draw a line under if no success. But I think until you get there you don't know when it is right to stop.

x x


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