# Drinking and fertility



## Grace72

Hi - My husband and I are having quite a few rows on whether drinking affects fertility. He had testicular cancer 9 years ago, all clear now (touch wood) and we had a sperm count test done recently twice to check why we are not getting pregnant .TTC for 1 year now. 

Stats. 24 -26 million but normal sperms only 11% and 9%. My FSH and LH and AMH all good. We dont understand why we cant get pregnant naturally.  I have even cut out the caffeine and the alcohol (occasional one during stressful days) but he has a beer every other day to relax after work or after work drinks.  Depending on who you read some say no drinking for 3 months and others say relax and have the odd glass. However what is the "odd" glass  Its got to the point where he is resentful about me controlling his drinking and I'm resentful that he doesnt try hard enough to improve his count and quality.

Any opinion please, to but this ongoing debate to rest.

Thx

Grace


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## tracyl247

Morning Grace

We gave up all alcohol and i gave up both alcohol and caffeine prior to starting treatment, i think it depends on you, your partner and the advice that you are given.  Have you asked your GP/Consultant for their opinions?  sometimes our DH's need to told by the medical folk rather than us    i am sure they think we are just being bad to them    

take care

Tracy


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## L_ouise

I think you need to try and see this from hubbys POV.

You drink when you think it is "necessary" and hubby wants the same right. Just because he happens to think it is necessary more often than you doesn't mean that you are in a position to dictate to him.

Imagine if you got in one day after the most horrific day of your entire life and all that had kept you going was thinking of that large glass of wine and just as you start to pour, hubby walks in and tells you that you cannot have it. You'd tell him to sod off and mind his own business 

The only solution is for you both not to drink at all. Completely tea total.

As for whether or not alcohol actually causes issues, i think that you simply can't take risks


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## Marie1970

My husband and i have this same merry go round discussion for about 8 months now. we would have been big social drinkers. Our fertility consult siad we must reduce to minimum of 2 units a week each for next 2 months before we start ivf. So finally we got told by a professional!  He also siad its more important for the man to watch his drinking then the woman as it effects the outcome more. but in my opinion and ive done lots of research on this is that as long as its only 1 or 2 drinks on any given night NOT binge drinking of several pints then i couldnt see from research any harm for the DH. whereas 1 night of v heavy drinking could adversly affect his sperm for the next 3 months as it takes 90 days for that sperm to be made plus my DH will also smoke if he drinks. We have found it difficult to negotiate and the nagging is an issue from both of us. So we have decided the only way is to both give up for a couple of months it will not hurt us and can only help us! Hope it works out for you and your DH.


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## joeyrella

My way of looking at it was that I wanted absolutely no regrets.  If a cycle was going to be BFN it was going to be despite all my very best efforts.  A few alcoholic drinks may not seem like much but I never wanted to be thinking 'what if....?'  There were lots of things on my fertility journey that I couldn't improve or change, but drinking is a really easy one you are in control of.
If it was me I would want to do everything I could to try and conceive without having to have fertility treatment.  If it means giving up a few drinks every other evening its a very small price to pay.


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## kitten77

hi there.

well.....this is my PERSONAL experience, not medical facts or anything but i have done 6 txs, all been BFN.  and i have done EVERYTHING regarding drinking, i have given up, i have had a few, i have carried on as normal, i have binged drunk, then back to drinking nothing for 3 months before... and all exactly the same outcome....DH has done the same. 

so to be honest it is your own preference, not once has a doctor told me to cut down our out. 

good luck.


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## luckyinluv

My DH and I have just spent the last few weeks since our 3rd BFN wrestling this very same issue....

My personal experience has definitely shown a massive effect from alcohol, for my first two cycles I was completely tea total for 3 months prior - these two cycles I responded brilliantly and we had very good looking embryos replaced but failed implantation (hubby drank way way over the weekly unit allowance during both).  The 3rd cycle I drank small amounts during stimms but went tea total after egg collection - this time my response was poor and we only had one embryo to put back and it was poor quality, resulting in more hearbreak - hubby drank way way over the weekly unit allowance again.  

My consultant confirmed yesterday, after I had done much research, that alcohol affects the quality of what we produce not the quantity and has more effect in men than in women, so this may have affected our implantation as poor embryos will naturally fail (natures way of selecting only the healthy) 

Dh has finally agreed to try tea total for the next 3 months while taking vitamins, I have told him that I will simply cancel our pre consultation appointment if he does not manage to stay tea total.  

We have so little control over this whole process and have spent an absolute fortune, why would we not try to control what little we can and give ourselves the best possible chance considering the odds that we face?


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## Grace72

Hello everyone - thanks all for the advice. Sorry havent been on this forum for awhile its been one of those weeks. 

  We ended up going to see a fertility nutritionist to end our consent arguments and i thought i would share the advice with you to help anyone in the same predicament.  She advised 6 units a week is fine but as we all guessed binge drinking is not good at all. Red wine less than 14% is better than cocktails and guiness is better than beer.  He finally listened    . She also asked him to take a multivitamin and an antioxidant and have a glass of fruit smoothie every morning since he is terrible on fruit and veg. All of this will make a difference.  

On a separate note , if anyone is having a trying husband in general through this whole experience do drop me a line and share your experiences with me too. Hopefully i'm not alone with a sceptical husband.

G


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## mandimoo

Your stories are all so familiar.  I feel very negative about this whole issue at the moment.  My husband will not accept his responsibility for his side of this journey, even after the heartbreak of an ectopic, our first and only natural conception, and a miscarriage at 10 weeks from IVF, both within 6 months of each other.  In the darkest moments I don't believe that he loves me or even wants a child if he thinks it is acceptable for me to go through this and his caffeine and alcohol is more important to him than my emotional well-being.  I think the problem is, that we were both drank quite a lot leading up to our TTC journey and have both cut down massively.  But where I was able to give up everything during treatment and subsequent pregnancy, he felt he didn't have to do that.  I think the people who say our men just think we are using it as an excuse to nag are so right.  I'm also saddened by learning here in this thread that it has more effect on the male partner.


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## lola33

That's a hard one! I did give up since start of d/r but not 3 months before the tx as some say you should. I just honestly don't have a will power to do so, having all the fertility problems is depressing enough, I could not deny myself a couple of glasses of wine with the girls now and then  I had one glass of wine while stimming though, but am very convinced that one glass don't do any harm. My DP on the other hand both drinks a bit more than he should and smokes   but his SA is fine (but could be better) and he already has a child, so I feel like I don't have any right to be on his case about changing his life style because our fertility issues are entirely my fault  But I so wish that he tried a bit more though, cause if his swimmers are pretty good now, imagine what they could have been if he lived a bit healthier life  it would definitely improved our odds I think, but his job is very stressful and all, so if he wants a pint after work, what can I do.....

Xx


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## hutchess

Sorry for sounding sceptical but have just had second tx and another BFN. Thought I would share my experiences if it helps someone else...

During first tx, I did not have a drop of alcohol. I also cut out all caffine, took vitamin tabs and drank so much water i was like a fountain. Result: 9 eggs retrieved, all fertilised and we got 2 embies to transfer - a 'wonky' 5 cell and a 9 cell which both did not take.AF arrived 8 days post transfer.

Second tx, we decided it would be easier if I didn't beat myself up about what I was eating or drinking. I DID have an occasional half or glass of wine (not to excess, I was too bloody tired!!). Result: 9 eggs retrieved, 4 fertilised * (which the embryologist was happy with as we used DH's frozen sperm). Got 2 'perfect' 8 cell embies with very little fragmentation transfered. AF arrived day after OTD. 

So ladies, either way I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference. All I can tell you is that I was much more relaxed through this recent tx, although getting to OTD and getting BFN is more heartbreaking than I was prepared for. At least I have no regrets - it is nature at the end of the day.  If / when we go through tx again, (we have to pay for each attempt - £11K spent so far!), I will do everything I can not to think about it and be as normal as poss.

Good luck
x


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## yola

this is very topical as i was rowing with my husband last night about it... 2 x failed ivf's you just start looking for answers...  I said to my hubby next time tea total which he just refuses ....  he said lifes to stressful as it is ... Dont get me wrong he has cut down massively and neither of us drink in the week.. But we socialise at weekends and have a few beers ...  Im just looking for an answer why embryos just dont implant....

Its prob more down to the stress i feel than the alcohol


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## lola33

Ydonocik - sorry Hun for your bfn again    I  know that you are looking for answers at the moment,  I honestly ( in my ignorant opinion ) don't think that cutting out all alcohol especially in male would make any dramatic deference, in a way understand your DH for saying that life is stressful enough as it is. I actually red quite an intressting article today regarding embryo quality and who to "blame" if poor quality and it said that 9 times out of 10 it is down to egg quality rather then sperm quality, so yet again men have it much easier than us   and basically are capable to have children even if the swimmers are not top quility, as for us, it seems like there is no room for error when it comes to egg quality . In the end of the day there is no clear answers to why it didn't happen, the only to do is try to do some investigations, maybe immunes, but of course it is an unproven area and again no guaranties that it will work. I think a lot of times fertility tx is a numbers games and on avarage couples have to have 3 rounds of tx to achieve pregnancy. Best of luck with your next step  

Xx


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## Grace72

Hi ydonocik

http://www.marilynglenville.com/infertility.htm

Given 50% is the husband's DNA he needs to play a part. If he has the occasional wine not beer (please see earlier post on what my nutritionist advised on which are better than others) . I also got my husband to read Marilyn Grenville see link . Someone who has a phD on the subject probably knows better than our husbands. 

I am still having the same issues with mine though, althoughhe does have the odd glass but we have both avoided social after work drinks as temptation was there, which in turns leads us to feel unhappy . However im hoping my first IVF attempt will be successful as this running argument is proving tiresome for me too and he can go back to being a beer monster again! men!

G

/links


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