# Secondary Infertility - how long do you leave it ?



## emmajordan

Hello Guys

Well I am asking you a question that you no doubt can not answer for me - but it still feels right putting this question out there into the universe to see if any one can help.

We have been actively TTC no 2 for over a year now. I have had a full cycle of tests done and my tubes are fine - my egg supply isn't fantastic but its sufficient and I ovulate every month. I have a shortish luteal phase and that is it really. 

I am trying "alternative" therapies at the moment but i am wondering how long I should leave it before going for IVF ?? I am about to send off for an appointment to see a clinic (ARGC) and I know they have a long waiting list but I don't really know how long one should leave it.

I am 36 in the summer.

I would be greatful for your experience/information - tips etc

love ems


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## Bunjack

Emma - 
Can't answer for you but my dd is over 3 yrs and we've been trying for nealry 3 years really. We're just in process of going to clinic to start ivf (probably icsi) I'm also 36 and just feel we have a good chance if we get a long there now father than leave it longer. Think my nhs consultant would advise us waiting longer but he's not going to argue with us anymore!!  

How the alternative therapy going? What sort of things have you tried?

Anyhow hun, best of luck with the trying in the mentime and good luck making the decision that is right for you!

take care 

Bethan x


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## emmajordan

I'm trying reflexology and acupuncture and nutrition (foresite) had my hair tested etc. I am also going to have councelling to remove any emotional issues I have. I really enjoy all of the above (dunno about the councelling - yet, I've allways taken the p***).

Clearly they haven't done much yet - but I am ovulating earlier into my cycle now which is something I guess. 

I just feel time is ticking away and I wish I had started trying earlier - I think I was an idiot to think that I was in control of my fertility. I don't want to be silly and start treatment too early but there again I don't want to be silly and start treatment too late ! Oh dear what a to do ! where are you going for your treatment and thats another one how does one make up ones mind about that ?

ems


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## Bunjack

well done Emma - you seem to have started quite a lot of things - hope they help. 

We're going to go to CARE in Nottingham - they are fairly local to us and have a satllite clinic in our town which may help. We chse by looking into the HEA site and the booklet they send out give statistics as to results for live births. You GP should be able to guide you a bit too.

I felt it was worth getting the referral - I'm sure the clinic won't start us off if they don't think we've done enough yet!

Good luck again, kep up al the hard work - but try to enjoy the bms too!! ;-)

take care

Bethan x


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## ktc

Bethan and Ems

I'm glad I've found some others in the same position as me!!  I was beginning to think I was the only one  .

My DS is 5 1/2 and we've been trying for number 2 for over 2 1/2 years. I'm 35 in the summer and DH is 33.  We've both had tests, I've had a HSG and there's mo problems there, I ovulate naturally so my GP and cons can't explain it.  I'm on my second month od clomid at the moment.  My AF is due tomorrow and as my boobs are sore I'm expecting it to show up very soon.  The cons only wanted to prescribe 3 months of clomid and couldn't get us out of the door fast enough as we already have a son.  Did you have trouble conceiving first time around??  We didn't which is why we're so frustrated at the moment  .

We've also got hold of the booklets on IVF from HFEA as we've decided we're going to go for IVF if there's no BFP after the 3 cycles.  We recently moved to Bucks and as a result we're not entitled to anything on the NHS except clomid... it's so bl**dy frustrating that this is a lottery postcode and if we lived in other parts of the country we could have more treatment on NHS.  Anyway, we so want another baby that we'll go private.  Our GP is referring us to either Oxford or ARGC in London.

Anyway, I so hope there's some BFP soon

Lots of luck to you both    

Karen xxx


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## emmajordan

Hi

No probs the first time round at all - immediate conception and I wasn't young either (32). Any how things have certainly changed. 

I too am being refered to ARGC but far too early for IVF - should certainly give it more time. But want to be on the waiting list and ready if and when I want to start treatment.

The thing is I know plenty of people (who for their own reasons won't have assisted conception) who had number 1 easily and then never managed number 2. I think this is worrying me more than necessary ! 

I really don't want to use Clomid as am ovulating regularly - but maybe I should. Have my appt with the Consultant (of my fertility clinic not ARGC) today and are thinking of doing natural IUI 

Any how thanks for your messages. I don't know if it is just the stress of "trying" as it seems that if you think about it you can't get pregnant - a watched pot never boils etc etc. 

any how, hey ho.

p.s my PCT pays for absolutely nothing - I have asked them for information about how to appeal their decision - they are getting back to me I'll let you know but it would probably be judicial review - maybe I will be a litigant in person !!!!!!

ems


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## ktc

Hi Ems

Let me know how you get on with IUI.  I'm not really sure about clomid, like you I'm ovulating so I thought why should I go on it Think we tried it really as it was the only thing our fertility clinic would give us. My AF was due today, not showed up yet but I had a BFN this morning and I've got all the symptoms of the   being on the way!  I have one month of clomid left, three months is enough for me; I know some people take it for longer but  we just don't want to anymore.

We have an appointment with our GP n 22nd to start the referral process for IVF. As we've been ttc for quite some time we're ok to go to IVF now. I spoke to ARGC today and they have a 10-12 week waiting time for first appointment, thereafter there is no wait for treatment.... so fingers crossed we'll have a BFP by the summer.  

I think you're right about worrying... deep down I think half of our problem is having such stressfull busy lives and being so wound up that I haven't conceived.. a vicious circle eh??!

Anyway, keep posting and let me know how you get on with your appeal.  I'll let you know how we get on with ARGC.

keep thinking    

Take care

Karen


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## emmajordan

Gosh there aren't many of us with unexplained secondary infertility !
Yes I am almost decided on ARGC too, that or Holly house. I like the fact that Holly House is nice and relaxed but you can't beat the results of ARGC.

I am a stress bunny anyway so what difference is it goign to make ?



ems


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## ktc

Hi Ems... the   turned up yesterday so I'm back on clomid for one last month... not feeling very optimistic...
Hope it's going better for you.

Kx


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## emmajordan

Sorry to hear that she has come ! Fingers crossed for your last cycle. Is it true that Clomid dries up your EWCM - or has that not really happened to you? Mine isn't exactly prolific any way if thats not TMI ! 

I've been given some progesterone at my gne appointment on Tues - as my luteal phase is short(ish) - no surprise they offered my Clomid to take with it but I said I would just start on the progesterone.

I have heard loads of women getting Clomid babies so this might be your lucky month - the sun is out and things are starting to grow --- spring is the best time to conceive so go for it. I think being slightly unenthusiastic is probably the best frame of mind to be in anyway - less pressure.

ems x


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## Bunjack

Karen - sorry to hear about   - I'm sure this will be the month for you   I like Emmas spring thoughts!

First time around we had trouble getting pregnant - and 3 days before starting IVF (in spring!) it all fell into place - hoping history repeats itself here!

Hope you're both fine and enjoying your weekend and lots of   and fun for you both - roll on Valentines day!!

take care 

Bethan


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## TracyJ

Hi, 
Just been reading all, I also have secondary infertility have been trying to conceive for seven yrs, partners sperm count fine, i show all the signs of ovulation had various tests done which showed nothing wrong, however i do suffer with rheumatoid artritis which i have been told can make it take longer but not seven years.    Have just had first attempt of IVF which was successful but sadly ended as an ectopic.  Also think after charting my cycle i have a short luteal phase which could have been the problem all along  but who knows.    Good luck everyone.


Tracy


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## royall

Hi girls just a quick note to say don't leave it too long as I was 35 when we started trying again (never even gave it a thought that it might be difficult!!) & from what i've heard the chances of any treatment being successful really start to fall off after 38. Get the referral & the information then you can decide when to start but at least you know you will be in the right place at the right time, the nhs kept saying " give it another six months"  but I wish I had been in the place I am now 2 yrs ago. Good luckxxxxxx


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## emmajordan

Feel very down about the whole issue today. Its all just a nightmare. I have done so much reading and research my head is spinning and I don't know WHAT to do.
My acupuncturist is like - leave it it will happen. The Consultant is give it 4 more months and then IVF. My friends are - do it NOW - just wait it will happen or what will be will be. 

Its driving me crazy.

I hate the way we are made to think that IVF is some magic pill - but it isn't. It doesn't seem to work at all. All the women on this site seem to get BFN's and the thought of putting myself through all of this and potentially spending all this money etc - just does my head in. 

But like the reply above says ! - don't leave it too late.

OMG ................................argh !


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ ©

emmajordan said:


> I hate the way we are made to think that IVF is some magic pill - but it isn't. It doesn't seem to work at all. All the women on this site seem to get BFN's


I appreciate its easier said than done but try not to be too disheartened...there are lots of BFP's on this site...here's a link to the 2ww thread with treatment - page 1 shows all the recent BFP's...

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,48592.0.html

and check out bun in the oven etc...

I'm about to start first ivf in 5 weeks & we have to have confidence & remain positive 

Good luck
Natasha


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## emmajordan

Wow, you certainly keep track of all the boards !

Yes its easier said than done to think positive all the time. But I'll try and use your advice thanks ! 

I am just finding it very difficult to think positive or not worry. Particularly as its unexplained infertility. My acupuncturist says its all psycological because of an awful event in my life (last year) to personal to go into and I suppose, because of that I just think that I will never get pregnant because it is like I am stopping myself. 

It is true however that IVF is not magic and does not work for the majority and I do worry that it will not work for me. I feel like my consultant is trying to shove it down my throat and what I really need is time (that I don't have being nearly 36) to get to grips with my emotions. and yes I am having councelling.

I know that some women get pregant but I don't know emotionally if I could cope with it (well today anyway when i just want a rant) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


But thanks I will try ( I do honest) and good luck to you too I am sure with your attitude you will be one of the lucky ones.


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ ©

I just try to find something positive each day...after 2 early mc's last year & a pg that sadly ended in termination almost 16yrs ago its the thing that keeps me going since ivf is pretty much my only option now...I didn't mean to sound patonising when I said to stay positive 

Today I read in the papers of a 62 year old great grandmother who has just given birth to another child through ivf...that keeps me thinking positively...I'm 37 so a mere whipper snapper in comparison with a 30% chance...but thats still 1 in 3 chance ! 

And I visit most of the boards...not really a case of keeping track of them though


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## emmajordan

You WERE NOT being patronising at ALLLLLLL  

and also the sucess rate is cumulative so your odds go up each cycle.

I had a miscarriage b4 I got pregers with my daughter but I think it is so much more traumatic when you have been TTC for ages and ages.

No doubt I'll end up having it (ivf)- I just don't know if I could cope. I'm going slowly mad already. I just need to get off these boards but they are so bl**dy adictive !

ps you look about 24 not 38 !


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ ©

It's that secret youth elixir I drink & the fact I have a 30 yr old partner  (but I'm 37 not 38 - please don't add any more years on  )

I know what you mean about the boards...I was gonna log off ages ago but am still here 

Although the early mc's were upsetting, in a way I've managed to find some positive from the negative (if you know what I mean  )...our consultant sent me for untold investigative blood tests following them & I've been diagnosed with a couple of autoimmune blood clotting disorders so now have to take meds for those (baby aspirin) but will also have heparin from EC onwards...obviously I would've preferred not to have had any mc's but at least I am now being treated accordingly which can only be a benefit...still hurts though


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## tgold

Hellou  

My advice would be to go ahead and DO NOT wait. I had a missed miscarriage at 33 years of age - it was my 1st pregnancy. Subsequently, I waited for about a year before consulting a specialist. His advice was "ah, sure you're still young and there's no need to be in a hurry". He made me feel like i was being a bit hysterical and impatient.  He didn't even suggest further testing. This was stressful and worrying.
Eventually, I was tired of waiting and wondering why nothing was happening, so I eventually decided to consult a fertility specialist, who sent me for a whole battery of previously unmentioned tests. 
It turned out that I had a borderline FSH, meaning that fertility treatment was desirable. They also discovered that my cervix was slightly damaged during the D&C after the miscarriage  - better to know these things !! 
The time wasted means that I am now almost 36.
I'm currently undergoing induced ovulation and I finally feel that something positive is happening after living in limbo for so long. The hope which I was beginning to lose has made a shy appearance again. 

The other advantage to this surveillance is that my husband has become a LOT more involved in the process - administering injections every evening, and generally asking questions and showing interest.
I guess my point is - it's your body and YOUR life - if you feel that you need help with your fertility, insist on getting it.

GOOD LUCK


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## jkd

Hi,

Been reading the posts and what is or where is ARGC? We are at the Lister having moved from the London Bridge.  We will be embarking on our 7th and last IVF next month.  The last two have literally been one after the other and I have decided to straight into the next one also.  I can't remember a summer without this hanging over us, so I will either be pregnant or I can enjoy the summer with wild abandon!!We have a wonderful son Harry whose 4 1/2 yrs old.  After having Harry had two ectopics one after the other loosing both tubes and then our only hope was IVF.  Having only found this site since my last failed IVF I am trying to get as much info as poss to give myself my best and last chance. Any advise is always welcome!!!!

Jules


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## sweetpeapodder

I say don't wait too long too - I had my DD at 28 (8 yrs ago) and since then have been pg only twice and lost both - now can't seem to get pg at all - on Clomid.  

Been told that apart from the ov problem there is nothing wrong but it doesn't seem like that to me - I first went to my Dr in 2001 - basically the view seemed to be if you've done it once, there's nothing wrong with you - go away etc   You need to be persistent - I wish I had been pushier.


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## emmajordan

I can't believe this but on CD 40 I have just got my first BFP. Clearblue digital and it says PREGNANT. This was the first month of taking progesterone because of luteal phase defect and it obviously did the job !

I have a bit of bleeding so I am off to my fertility clinic to get some blood tests etc get more progesterone

OMG OMG 

Will update later


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