# having to explain everything many times?? or is it me?



## Iman (Oct 11, 2007)

Hey ladies

Quick question - do you find that your friends and family don't understand the lenghty process of getting approved to adopt, panel and then what will happen afterwards with profiles, introductions, matching panel , moving in, court order etc??

I have to explain to them many many times what will happen, where we are with everything - but many of them are not understanding  ( or listening??) and seem to think that we will have children moving into our house tomorrow or something!! we havent even been to approval panel yet! I keep explaining " no, we still have to do XYZ, then this will happen, then this , then this, we dont know how long this could take, etc etc etc"

Just wondering anyway - or is it me and the way I am explaining it (or not explaining it?) 

dunno but just woindering why people dont seem to be getting it! how have you explained it to them? or haven't you - maybe it is betterI dont bother them with  the details and just say we are a long way off yet...

Thanks


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## Guest (Jul 4, 2010)

Big ((hugs))  Its as bad as the "are you pregnant yet?" questions, isn't it!!

We were lucky as we didn't have long waits as we did it all back to front, but I think I'd be inclined to be vague and lengthen the times as much as possible to reduce the questions - something along the lines of  "well it will be at least a couple of years before we get to be parents and there are lots of things to do in the meantime".  

Bop


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## Iman (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi Bop

thanks for your reply. Things is - that is actually how I started off explaining timescale with some of these people - and they didn't get that. Then I explained each stage of the process to show how much has to be done - and they still arent getting that. It is beginning to get really annoying as I feel like they aren't listening or paying attention because they don't actually care!? ( and these are immediate family BTW)

but I guess I have to just grin and bear it! pehaps its me being too sensitive too and a bit stressed at the mo    (seem my other thread re house!! ) ....and yeah - its almost as bad as the "are you pregnant yet??!"questions....

Just breathe and smile!!!


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

Hi iman. Think its just family forget. My family are lovely and very supportive but they ask the same things over and over lol. Like you said, just breathe hun and tell them again. Hope everything is going ok for you x


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

I just spotted this and TOTALLY sympathise! We are adopting from overseas and when we started I explained it was about a year to the panel and then at least another year. And yet everyone seemed to think we'd have a child moving in as soon as the panel was over!

I keep telling everyone the maximum possible wait (it could be up to 3 years) and even then they don't seem to get that it's MATCHING not just a pile of prospective adoptive parents and if you are at the top you are picked!


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## Guest (Aug 25, 2010)

Sorry off topic, but Spouse..Congratulations on your approval - I must have missed that.  Hope your wait is shorter rather than longer.

Bop


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

It was in May! But we have only just got all the paperwork sorted to send overseas, we think, anyway it's going and anything else will have to go separately.


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## Guest (Aug 27, 2010)

Actually I do remember - but that's when all the posts on D disappeared isn't it?  I did a search and nothing came up.


Anyway, glad to hear things are progressing well and hope you get a shorter rather than longer wait.  

Bop


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Massive hugs Iman - I think it's partly that they get so excited for you and partly that as they're not directly a part of the process as such, they don't retain the information like we do xxx


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