# for those who've done it twice....did it feel the same second tim around?



## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi,

i haven't written and updated on here for ages and thought i would now to see if i can pick your brains. For those of you who've done this more than once, how did the first time compare to the second.....in terms of you feelings/excitement/anxiety?

the reason i ask is that we have our panel date through, which is great news, but we're feeling a bit like its all flown by and we're a bit anxious that things are moving too fast. If you'd told me pre-Boo being placed with us that i would ever have these types of feelings I'd tell you you were crazy. But anyways, i was just wondering if anyone else had similar feelings of anxiety that they didn't have the first time around??

thanks,
xxruthie


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Ruthie

I havent adopted a 2nd time however can understand that your prob feeling anxious over the "unknown" as pre-boo it was just you and DH who got effected by adoption and new child where as now your family isnt just you and DH it also includes boo.

I think from the sounds of it your having the "normal" pre-2nd child jitters

I know that we would love more children at some point however i do worry how it will effect us as a family however this is a while off for us!

massive 

xxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Ruth


YES second time around does seem different & certainly a lot quicker and easier!!

With adoption number one you don't know what to expect and then with adoption number two you know what to expect..........your just feeling completely normal!!!  Trust me form a second time around adopter.........I'm normal honest.......well most of the time    

Love
Andrea
x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

it was a bit different for us as we knew who no.2 was going to be from when we started with no.1  so it was nowhere near as exciting in terms of the 'match' and the 'unknown' bit of it all..although i did ask the FC not to tell us stuff so that at least there would be something interesting to tell us when the time came 
i too was worried that it was all soooo exciting when we were matched with littlie and i felt babybro was getting short changed a little..i started to feelsad that our time with littlie as just our one little girl was soon going to be over ..we only had 8 months with her as an only...
BUT as the time got closer and we finally knew he was going to be ours it did get really exciting and all the feelings we'd had first time round popped up again. intros were more daunting as we had littlie to consider in it all and couldnt indulge ourselves sitting cuddling babybro without feeling guilty and wondering if she was getting green-eyed. but nonetheless it was fabulous.
i would say no we didnt feel the same, it was definitely different .....but it was just as exciting   

kj x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

thanks guys, always good to know I'm normal....well, normal-ish anyway!!  

xruthie


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Ruthiebabe

Sorry, I've only just spotted your thread!

YES! I felt panic and anxiety approaching panel. I had in some ways, more worries the 2nd time around. With the first time, you just hope that the SW will find you a perfect match. 2nd time, you want the SW to find a perfect match for not just you and DH, but your first child too, and more-so.

I'd worry incase the next child wasn't as pretty or cute as the first, and it'd be obvious to everyone that they weren't blood related! I'd worry incase we'd be in for a rough ride seen as our 1st was so smooth.

I had nothing to worry about. Everything was perfect once again and now I;m a doubly lucky mum!
I think what it is, is the first time we go into it all a bit naive, and are only nervous because we don't know what's going to happen. The 2nd time, we get nervous because we know what's coming and have so many expectations. Plus being a mum makes us natural worry-warts!!  

I do remember that feeling of wanting to slow it all down. And not feeling ready! It seems crackers to me now that I would've wished for my baby girl not to be found so quickly!!!

Don't worry, go with the flow!!!


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