# FET - Nervous!



## Babyblues (Aug 18, 2005)

Hi everyone 

I am new to this site and posted an intro about myself yesterday.  

My husband & I had our first icsi nearly 4 weeks ago!  unfortunately it did not work and i am left numb as to the whys and what ifs!  i am so glad to have found this site everyone seems most helpful and it gives me the insperation and hope to carry on in what seems an uphill struggle. 

we have been trying for a family for the past 6 years and we found out last week that it was not going to be just yet.  we have 8 fe and are hoping to have a FET mid September but i very nervous and anxious about it.  my hospital, which is in wales, say that they have to thaw all 8 in the HOPE that 2 survive the thawing process and then if they do we can have 2 transferred.  this means only one more chance and then if that does not work we have to start from scratch which means another £6000+.  we have our fingers cross that the FET works as we have not got the money to start again.  

i would love to hear from anyone in the same position or anyone views on FET and how to get through this awful experience.


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## Cecilie (Jul 27, 2005)

Hello BabyBlues

I'm sorry you're feeling low and sorry your last ICSI was unsuccessful.  I can understand your anxiety about all your frozen embryos being thawed in one go - it must feel like a massive gamble.  I sympathise - the waiting and not knowing is so hard. Starting out with fertility treatment feels so positive after years of trying naturally and not getting anywhere, but then when you meet with problems and difficulties it makes the emotional lows even worse because we have so much invested in these precious attempts. It's impossible not to day dream about the treatment working, like calculating when the baby will be born, what you might be doing when you're a certain number of weeks pregnant and having a sneaky look at baby clothes etc. Then when you get a set back it feels like being back at square one and that it's never going to happen - despite the fact that getting pregnant seems to be like falling off a log for everyone around you!!

We have also been TTC for a long time - 5 years, and currently have 10 FE's from our last IVF which had to be abandoned after egg collection because I had OHSS. I thought I was fairly together about it and have been feeling positive, because after all, I did get 10 embryos, which is great. However,  I went for a scan this morning which showed I have a couple of ovarian cysts and means I have to wait for yet another mens. cycle, and another scan in a month's time before the hospital will consider putting me back on Buserilin. So, like you, I feel like it's all a bit of an uphill struggle... 

I am finding it helpful to have a look at this site most days and just read about other people's experiences, and it's especially lovely to read about IVF/ICSI working. I also find it helps to talk to understanding girlfriends, as DH is finding this very tough. His usually strong wife keeps crumpling into a crying mess who can't cope with anything! I'm lucky that one of my very close friends is having ICSI at the same hospital as me at the moment, so she keeps me upright. I also think that treating yourself to little things helps a bit, like relaxing candlelit baths (Zita West recommends grapefruit, lemon or lime essential oil in the bath - it's uplifting), lots of early nights and maybe the occasional massage. I also find doing creative things helps me - maybe as a substitute for creating babies... Even just baking somethinig is quite therapeutic. Oh, and Zita West also says that all things orange encourages fertility. I'm willing to go with that -  maybe I'll paint the bedroom orange - that should confirm to DH that I really have lost it!

I wish you lots and lots of luck with your Sept FET. I'll keep everything crossed and send out positive baby thoughts for you. Hopefully I'll be following in your footsteps with my FET some time in Oct/Nov.

Cecilie x


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## kez23 (Jan 4, 2005)

Hi Babyblues

Firstly I am so sorry that your first lot of treatment didn't work for you. I know myself how hard the treatment is, and how heart broken you are if it fails.

I had my first ICSI in Jan 05 and lucky for us we got 21 eggs, in which 15 of them fertilised. We had 2 grade 1 embies put back, but we got a negative for that one.

In June 05 we had our first medicated FET. Overall I found the FET alot better than ICSI as its not so stressful (don't get me wrong it is is) but not as much. The whole process of medicated cycle was about the same time scale as ISCI but without the needles (added bonus). Our clinic only took 2 of our remaining 13 embies out and lucky for us they both started to divide. At the time of them going back (day 2 transfer) we had 2 x grade 1 embies with one being a 2 cell and the other 3 cell. Overall I felt alot more positive for this treatment (and it helped still having 11 embies left) but once again we got a negative.

We are now saving and looking ahead for our 2nd FET which were hoping E/T will be end of Oct beginning of Feb. I am now having to wait for A/F to arrive before we know much more.

Because we have had 2 failed attempts we are going to take all 11 embies out of the freezer and take as many as poss to blastocyst stage. (As I have noticed through my last 6 months on this site, that blasts improve the odds). I am feeling very nervous about this lot of treatment, as I am so scared of getting another negative and going through all that pain, so am trying to hope it will be 3rd time lucky for us!!

Also to improve my chances more, I have started having acupuncture once a week. Which I must so is mean't to have some outstanding results and also helps to relax the body. After the first 2 sessions I didn't really see what it was doing, but after my 3rd session this week, I can see how it is helping me. It is worth a try if you haven't done it before.

Are you having a natural or medicated cycle on your 1st FET? Also do you know whether the reason they are taking all your embies out is being there going to take them to blasts stage too?

Sorry for the ME post, but sometimes it makes it easier to deal with by writing it all done.

Hopefully with things going we might cycle together, which would be great. Also I am part of the FET thread so it your get some time pop in and get to know us, were a great bunch.

All the best for the future

Lots of love and huge wishes
Kez xx


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## Cecilie (Jul 27, 2005)

Hello again Babyblues and hello Kez

Just read Kez's post and wanted to say thank you for mentioning acupuncture. I'm an acupuncturist and just totally take it for granted and forgot to mention it!! I go for treatment myself and I also treat a lot of fertility patients. Nearly everyone says very positive things about it, from saying they find it relaxing to saying they find it amazing. It has also been proven to increase chances of BFP test results. I have a web link to the German study that established this if anyone's interested.

Cecilie x


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## kez23 (Jan 4, 2005)

Hi Cecilie

If only you lived nearer  

I do find it very relaxing and over the past few months there has been some very positive feedback regarding acupuncture and IVF.

Do you treat many men for a low count and if so has it proven to increase it?

Love Kez xxx


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## Cecilie (Jul 27, 2005)

Hi Kez

Yes - I wish I was nearer too - would love to treat a fellow FF.
For best results it is preferable to treat both partners, but often women are much more motivated to take fertility action than men... I have been lucky enough to treat both on a few occasions and yes, it does improve sperm count. The last couple I treated together are expecting a baby in a few weeks. BFP's are the most exciting thing about my job!!  They usually come to me via text on the last day of the 2ww, and it makes me jump for joy - literally. In fact, the whole experience of treating someone on their ET day is very special. The clinic nearly all my patients have treatment at does very early am ET, and they come to see me just before and just after ET. Because it's so early - sometimes six am, it's often dark, especially in the winter, so I burn some essential oils and light candles to make it relaxing and the atmosphere is always magical because it's such a special and exciting day.... I do love it. It's such a priveledge to share other women's ET days.

C x


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## maureen358 (May 26, 2003)

Hi Babyblues

I'm sorry to hear that your last cycle didn't work.  However, re your frozen embryos, we had four but the clinic froze them in two vials of two.  They defrosted the first vial in the hope that both would survive and we wouldn't need to defrost the second vial.  As it was only one survived so we had to use the second vial.  I would speak to your clinic and ask how they have frozen them.  I would be very surprised if they've frozen all eight in the one vial so maybe they could defrost one vial at a time.  

I'm a great believer in "if you don't ask, you don't get".  It won't do you any harm to check out because let's face it, it's not cheap.  I feel that I'm preaching a bit but I want you to get the best possible deal.

I hope everything goes okay for you.


Maureen


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## maureen358 (May 26, 2003)

Hiya

It's me again, I also did acupuncture and felt that it helped me.  Anything's worth a try.

Bye for now.




Maureen


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## Babyblues (Aug 18, 2005)

To everyone who replied to my post 

Thank you so much for your kind word and wisdom.  Goodluck to all of you with your treatment and i hope you all get what you deserve.  

XXXX  Babyblues


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## Guest (Aug 20, 2005)

Hi,

sorry its been bad news.

I had 1st ICSI go in Feb & it worked - sadly I then had a m/c - that felt really awful - like being given the best present in the world & then someone saying "we made a mistake that wasn't for you."  I'm just about to start my second go - this time a FET so feeling very apprehensive.

All the best to you.
T


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## kez23 (Jan 4, 2005)

T

All the very best for your 1st FET. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Kez xx


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