# On the verge of a breakdown!!!!!



## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

I have posted before saying that I am feeling crap. but in the past week it has just got alot worse.

I find myself shouting at both children. Having a very short fuse. Even wanting to just leave them in the house and not come back.

Im very emotional at the moment, anything on the tv is making me cry buckets.

LO 16mths has had a cold for over 3 weeks, and its not going away. He is so winey, goes right through me.

I feel that I am going to snap one day and do something that I will regret!


----------



## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

My advice is to phone a social worker or a close family member ASAP.  My family set up is different to yours, but two months ago I was in the same position as you.  I sobbed and spent 3 days in bed and my Mum had to have my children, as I couldn't cope.  I ended up being admitted to hospital and spent two weeks in The Priory.

I am now linked to The crisis team and I have a 24 hour number to call if I find myself struggling again.  They absolutely could not have been more helpful or supportive.

X


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Baby - call your support & SW. You need help around you. 
I get the LO being unwell & just being needy (we've all been ill solidly for past 6-7 wks). I'm much further in but I remember wanting to just leave it was horrid.

Please please please get some help & respite even if it's a family member staying with you a few days or you go stay with relatives. The advice of keeping LO close can still be done but you need looking after too. Even just having someone make you dinners and clean up is a huge help. Or someone to take the kids out first thing and you go back to bed.

You babies need you strong so do whatever you need NOW rather than later.

Hugs and if there's anything I can do over phone etc just PM as I really know his lonely this can be (and I have a partner).
X x x


----------



## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

I just feel that if I admit to the SW that I cant cope that they will take LO off me!

And also atm its christmas, people wont want me bringing their special time down. My mum is very supportive, but she has got enough on her plate.


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Baby - SWs will not take a LO away when he's thriving (I understand your worry tho). It's easy to think that but that's what mums are there for (you fast forward and would you ever turn your daughter/son away when they ask for help?!?)

You won't bring anyone down if you ask for help. Turn up with bags packed for a few days if that helps as then they'll know you really need a cuddle n some support. Believe me they'd rather help before you struggle n get worse. You'll be amazed at how much you feel better after some sleep & tlc. 

Is their a friend that you can make plans with to see soon. I always feel better after getting some tlc from friends too. Even if it's not practical help just gives a distraction.

X x
X x x


----------



## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Baby I know this feeling too; and my sister when she adopted felt the same. Yesterday I had an appalling day and was shouting and losing my temper and generally a jibbering wreck by the time DH got home. My 6 month old placed 6 weeks ago screamed ALL DAY and my 17 month old cannot leave ANYTHING alone. It drives me insane. She has her little hands in everything and I ended up having to 'confine' her much of the day in a highchair with me or in the 'playroom' (my lounge which we've gated off!) together / playing alone whilst I watched on the camera and sorted out overdue Christmas stuff.

In the first week DS came home I took the dogs out and sat crying on a bench not wanting to go home. Sometimes I want to just walk away and not come back. 

I *know* it passes because I felt the same way when DD came home 5 months ago, but have re-experienced it ten times as bad on placement of DS.

But you do need to tell your support network, you honestly do. Your mum, however busy, would be so gutted if she thought you couldn't talk to her. A few weeks back I hit crisis point and told my mum; she was upset I hadn't called and made me promise that I would call anytime I needed her. I'm quite sure your mum will be the same. No one would want you to struggle alone baby!!

Please call her! I know the fear of having them taken away if you admit you can't cope....hence I'm the same as you and don't tell mine, I just draft in support. I know how bloody hideous it can be, yesterday I was in a living hell wondering why the heck anyone thought I could manage two such small kids and stay calm! I worry so much about emotionally damaging either one through shouting!

We're all hear for you xxxxx


----------



## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

I always thought I would be ok. I have a BD, and I work with families with children with challenging behavior.

Im just so happy when he is asleep. and as he is poorly is sleeping quite a bit. But there is also a bit inside me should he be sleeping so much? Do I need to take him to the Drs/HV?

I know you shouldnt hide your feelings from your children, but I dont want to breakdown infront of BD.


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Baby - the reality of adoption is just much harder than many if us imagine. Please please don't think bad of yourself. Things always seem much much worse when you are tired too.

Does LO sleep a lot normally or are you just worried as he's ill. My LO only sleeps more during day when he's very poorly and only for a few days til he's over the worst if virus.

With this cold he has a cough that's waking him up so he's maybe taking an extra 30mkns during the day and needing to head to bed about 30mins earlier. 

X


----------



## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

He is sleeping alot more than normal.

He normally sleeps a maximum of 11 hours at night and 2 during the day.
He is now sleeping most of the day


----------



## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

They don't or won't take your children of you.  How many people do you know who have had children removed because they are struggling?  As long as the children are well fed and looked after, then they are fine.  There are people out there to help and support you.  I wish I had asked for help sooner.

X


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Baby - if he's sleeping most of the day since having this cold then it's not a bad idea to get him checked. Your mummy radar is on so trust it if you don't feel he's right. It might just be he's not getting as much quality sleep through the night. If it's not improving I'd err on side if caution & guess it's maybe an infection and he needs some help to shift it.

Take care huni & please ask your support to rally round and help you out. No one will think less if you and if you had a 2nd birth child would you feel so unsure of asking for help?

PM anytime if you need a chat x


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Baby this time of year is really hard without other pressures.  No one will feel you are bringing them down they will be glad you reached out so they can give you support.  Christmas is about looking after the ones you love and being together. It isn't about hiding away. Please go to your mums or any other family member with your children. If you don't want talk to sw then perhaps try gp although they are likely to just suggest antidepressants so it depends whether you feel would help you or not.  

If you are worried about lo then take them to see someone medical. The stress of worrying over los health on top of everything isn't what you need.  Your piece of mind is important.  Wish I could do more but please don't be alone x x x x


----------



## Brummig (Jan 14, 2011)

How are things today?  I hope you got some support x


----------

