# Purchasing before Approval!



## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Hi everyone,


I'm on here to sound off rather than rant - is that the same thing? Lol.


Anyway DH and I are half way through our home study - we're heading to approval panel in April. We started this process in May 2013 and ever since I have been buying general items for example, children's books, blankets, bath tots.... You get the picture. 


I've now taken a huge leap and purchased nursery furniture. We've had our eye on it for a while and it's went into the sales at HALF PRICE. It includes cot bed, drawers and a wardrobe. It's all white so will go in a neutral room and it can be added to when we're matched and we can personalise it around our LO.  I know people probably think I'm mad but could I really pass up on such a great deal?


The other thing bugging me is knowing that we're not approved yet. There really isn't any reason for us not to be approved and our SW is very confident that we will get a huge YES at panel.


Please tell me others out there have done the same?? 


P.S the furniture isn't getting delivered until AFTER approval x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Don't worry! You're perfectly normal lol.

I did the same thing. I got the pram/pushchair I really wanted at an amazing price so got that, and a cotbed plus wardrobes etc. We bought books and some simple toys. Just save some things until you're matched. I was too organised and so didn't have much to buy when we were matched so was at a loss for things to do to nest 

xx


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Oh Jes THANK GOODNESS! I really started worrying tonight about it all. My in-laws very kindly paid for the furniture which is obv a huge help but I suddenly panicked. Someone gave me a hard time basically saying the child might not need a cot - we've requested under two years of age though x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hey Dreams - nest away :-D
I'm the half empty variety so didn't but until just before match panel as I was soo terrified but like you I knew the furniture I wanted and sale price was too good.

Is it a Cotbed or Cot?

Reason I ask is there's not much difference in size but the Cotbed will give you options if you find FC has moved LO into a bed earlier than 2yrs. 

Our LO is 2.3yrs but still small & not attempting to climb so we've left as cot style. 

Just an idea HTH x x


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

GERTIE179 said:


> Hey Dreams - nest away :-D
> I'm the half empty variety so didn't but until just before match panel as I was soo terrified but like you I knew the furniture I wanted and sale price was too good.
> 
> Is it a Cotbed or Cot?
> ...



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Yes we went for the cot bed option, I think it has 3 different styles to it. What age do you think a child will stay in cot bed? X


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

👆👆👆👆👆 not sure what I did there!!! Lol x


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi dreams,


I too brought a lot of stuff before approval panel. I had the nursery kitted out with a cot, walldrobe, drawers, toy box and painted the walls (neutral colour) before we had even found our son.  I had even stared buying blankets, bedding, bottles, and bibs.


I will say don't get to much as we found our FC gave us quite a bit and we ended up with some doubles of things.  Luckily I had kept receipts so could take ours back and get something else. 


Enjoy nesting huni


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Well I guessed about 2 but sometimes they try and climb out so its safer to change it at that point (I've known a few friends to change LO to bed style at 18months but I've got a friend who's LO is 3 in March & still in cot style and big for her age but likes the comfort. Our LO moves about a lot at night so without the bars I think we'd be up most of the night with him falling out ;-$


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Macgyver said:


> Hi dreams,
> 
> I too brought a lot of stuff before approval panel. I had the nursery kitted out with a cot, walldrobe, drawers, toy box and painted the walls (neutral colour) before we had even found our son. I had even stared buying blankets, bedding, bottles, and bibs.
> 
> ...


That's great I'm feeling so much better already. I just need to accept that the room might sit ready for quite a while before LO comes home but I'm sure I will just enjoy going in there with cups of tea and imagining what it will be like! I'm so excited and for the first time in 5 years I believe this is finally going to happen xx


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

GERTIE179 said:


> Well I guessed about 2 but sometimes they try and climb out so its safer to change it at that point (I've known a few friends to change LO to bed style at 18months but I've got a friend who's LO is 3 in March & still in cot style and big for her age but likes the comfort. Our LO moves about a lot at night so without the bars I think we'd be up most of the night with him falling out ;-$


That's great so either way I could get al least 1.5 to 2 years use out of it - glad I went for the cot bed then &#128077;&#128516; xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Well I think so as our cot bed should go upto about 5yrs depending on height

Were going to change bed when we feel mattress is done, LO outgrows or he wants a big boy bed in another 1.5 yrs or so.

X


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

Wish we hadn't, now have a cot propped up in our spare room


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Oh no why is that a bad thing? X


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

I did it!

I also spent £750 on a single pushchair because I saved £200 and thought it was a bargain....it wasn't because we then adopted two babies....and I needed a twin pushchair. Lol.

And I couldn't return it because I test drove it the day it arrived....2 months before approval panel!!


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## sass30 (Apr 16, 2011)

Hi adoption dreams. We go to panel on the 24th of this month. Same as you we have purchased our nursery furniture as mothercare have there sale on. We also got our car seat and safety gates. Our SW advised us that her manager said our PAR was a glowing report. I am not worrying about our verdict as i m a firm believer you wpuldnt get a recomendation for a yes if they had an intention to say no. Nursery set is our biggest expense and it gives peace of mind knowing that you may not have everything else but you have a bed for them to sleep in ect. Goodluck at panel x


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

I'm just saying be cautious. Both myself and my partner have a glowing PARand 20 years each of working with under 5's and I'm adopted myself. Everyone was so excited about us and our panel was deferred. It's not easy coming home after a rejection and looking at baby equipment. I wish I had protected myself, we know will will get approved hopefully in six months but it doesn't make it any easier.


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

It's a personal choice made by individuals who feel it is right for them to do so.

I have to agree with DisneyrocksH though and just say be cautious......all though what you have bought sounds great and will adapt to what ever age you hope to adopt.

It's nice to be able to nest though once you know the sex/age of your LO plus once you have met with FC you will know what your LO will be coming home to you with.....not usually big stuff like you've bought......but bedding, as this will have familiar smell to LO...........clothes.............personal again, our DD came home with 2 great big black bin bags of clothes and if I am honest I only kept a few outfits as they were not to my choice.

What I am trying to say is only you can answer the question you have asked.....................good luck with your journey!


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

I am so tempted to buy a pushchair which is in the sale and we love it!   Can anyone answer, does FC often give a pushchair? Im guessing not as they probably have new children coming through all the time and therefore keep a basic buggy or 2 (like childminders do) to accommodate various children?

The pushchair we have seen is suitable from birth to 4 yrs

so tempted….should we get it?

x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Sun Flower - personally I would wait. It's not as common for push hairs to come but some do. However our LO has been in ours about 6 times since coming home as he hated being apart from me/us. Now he'll climb in if we take it out for long days away but on the condition he gets out & walks for a bit. Ours wasn't walking when he came home but with Los who are 16/18mths they don't always go along with what you want. Also depends on necessity as we have 2 cars we were ok with going along with LO and didn't force him at the time as he got too upset.

I bought ours in a sale 2days before matching panel and was happy with price if we didn't need to use or wanted to sell on. I agree with supreal that it's down to own circumstances & views. By time of mp I was looking to save money where I could as I knew I would be off a work for a while. 

Oh and I know a few with BC who've wasted money on unnecessary things so were not alone. 
HTH x


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Dreams do come true said:


> I did it!
> 
> I also spent £750 on a single pushchair because I saved £200 and thought it was a bargain....it wasn't because we then adopted two babies....and I needed a twin pushchair. Lol.
> 
> And I couldn't return it because I test drove it the day it arrived....2 months before approval panel!!


Oh no that's so typical and a lot of money to lose. I hope you sold it and got some money back. I won't buy any other big items now, the deal on furniture was my priority so I feel much better now that I know that's ordered and paid for. It arrives in April a few weeks after panel xx


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

sass00 said:


> Hi adoption dreams. We go to panel on the 24th of this month. Same as you we have purchased our nursery furniture as mothercare have there sale on. We also got our car seat and safety gates. Our SW advised us that her manager said our PAR was a glowing report. I am not worrying about our verdict as i m a firm believer you wpuldnt get a recomendation for a yes if they had an intention to say no. Nursery set is our biggest expense and it gives peace of mind knowing that you may not have everything else but you have a bed for them to sleep in ect. Goodluck at panel x


This is very much my views too - surely SW wouldn't give false hope if they thought there was any chance of it being a no. Buying bits and bobs helps me too, It allows me to visualise and look ahead to the future xx


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

DisneyrocksH said:


> I'm just saying be cautious. Both myself and my partner have a glowing PARand 20 years each of working with under 5's and I'm adopted myself. Everyone was so excited about us and our panel was deferred. It's not easy coming home after a rejection and looking at baby equipment. I wish I had protected myself, we know will will get approved hopefully in six months but it doesn't make it any easier.


My goodness!!!! I'm really sorry to hear that - did your SW give you any incline that this could happen. I imagine they need to have strong grounds to say no to anyone. I hope you can get whatever it is all sorted x


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Thank you everyone for your replies it def helped and I feel much better. I'm glad I went ahead and bought the furniture set. The way I look at it is - it's white and will do either gender and it's a cot bed so I'm sure I will get at least 2 years out of it.

I won't buy any other big things though. Pram, high hair etc can all wait until we are matched.

Did you all decorate the room in plain/ neutral colours? I'm thinking of keeping to neural and adding to it once LO comes home xx


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We painted the room neutral and added big wall stickers when we were linked to little pink. There's loads on amazon and really reasonable value


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

-x-Lolly-x- said:


> We painted the room neutral and added big wall stickers when we were linked to little pink. There's loads on amazon and really reasonable value


Lovely thank you. I seen some lovely wallpaper as I will put a feature wall up but the rest will be either be white or cream so very easy to add. Wish I could attach pics on here lol x


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## do dreams come true (Oct 15, 2013)

hi Dreams,
i to have been itching to buy things for nursery, however we are not as far long we are waiting to see if we've got through stage 1 to move onto stage 2. So we can start homestudy hopefully.
I am worrying that we won't have the money to get everything we need for LO in so little time if we wait till approval and being matched.
Things like drawers and wardrobes and colour schemes are all i was wanting to do and just leave the bed/cot till we are approved.
But half of me is holding back incase im tempting fate.
its so hard weve waited 14 years already  and the wait continues


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

We knew we'd be matched with a very small baby though we were approved for one or twins so we didn't buy anything at all - some things we didn't need for ages, and some things we didn't know till matching whether we'd need one or two (and we didn't actually get anything till placement because matching is not a done deal in our situation).

I made a quilt quite a while back (before approval), and I guess I would have made a second if we had ended up with twins. Everything else, pretty much, we have been given - we were lent a cot bed and a Maclaren buggy, we were given stair gates, we changed our car when he was about 6 months old so we had to rethink our stage 1 car seat anyway, so basically I'm really glad we didn't spend all that money! We've also got a steady stream of clothes from a slightly older boy (and our little boy is  not very tall so he's not going to overtake the older child).

I do think that it's quite common if you adopt for your child to be younger than your friends' children because they started earlier (particularly if you then adopt an under-2 - perhaps not if you adopt a school age child) - so unless you are absolutely convinced that you could never use anything second hand, I would wait and see what people offer you too.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Its' personal, isn't it?    Don't stress it.  Remember, though, you're not decorating a nusery for 'a child' you're decorating it for YOUR child, an already existing little person with, however young, likes and dislikes and comfort things of their own.

We did the neutral decorating and added stickers that were like the ones on his wall at FC.  You're aiming to create comforting links with their home and their new home, so we kept our furniture wood and stained it rather than painted, because his furniture was wood at home... etc etc.  He was in a cot at FC, but we had a cot bed given to us and he happily went into that.

I didn't buy very much at all, because I didn't want to have to get rid of it if something went wrong.  That said, we were approved in Oct, and in July a good friend had come and given us the cot bed, a car seat, a load of things, which went straight up in the loft.  I did, however, buy a solid off-road buggy on eBay because they rarely turned up in our area, and I knew we'd need one.

When it came to it, approval, matching and intros followed on really fast, and we were hard pressed to get everything we needed!  But his room didn't need to be absolutely ready when Intros started, because we still had a day at home to arrange his things in it, and there were shopping opportunities during intros, too.

I think I'm saying it's swings and roundabouts, but remember you're buying for a person who already exists, but you haven't met yet.  

Good luck!


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions. It's so interesting reading peoples perspective on it and also seeing the difference in views etc.

We will be adopting a child under two years of age so anything I have bought has been very much general bits and bobs that can be used by either gender. The only large items purchased has been the furniture. I have went for white as it also ties in with our home. The room will be decorated in light, neutral colours and we can add to it when matched with our LO. We could either add a feature wall or stickers - it just depends on what the LO interests at the time.  The store is holding onto the furniture until after approval, I didn't want it in the house until we have our approval in writing.

It's been a long 5.5 years and buying bits and bobs seems to be helping me.  I know some people probably think it's inappropriate but it allows me to keep faith and hope in my heart xx


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