# God's punishment?



## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

I was brought up Catholic but haven't practised for more than ten years. Last week I lost my baby at 10 weeks and I can't help but think about the last time I spoke about my faith: I was 18 and I had just aborted my 6 week old pregnancy. The nun I spoke to told me that God would punish me for the murder of my child. If this is my punishment will it ever stop? I've never felt this much pain and I don't know how I'm supposed to carry on.


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Hi Emma

First, sending you a huge hug for you loss. I wish I could find the right words to comfort you.

There are many reasons why miscarriages happen, chromosomal abnormalities, immune issues, infections etc etc. I am sure God isn't punishing you, or your innocent child who wasn´t given the chance of life. Quoting Lamentations 3:33 "For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.". Quoting Romans 8.1 " Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,". I am sure he has compassion for you for what you have gone through. Just remember that he loves you, cries and suffers with you and feels your pain.

I don´t think anyone has the answer to why bad things happen to good people. I have met such wonderful people on here who would make fantastic parents, but for whatever reason it hasn´t happened. On the flip side there are people who have had children that have abused them terribly, why are they given the gift of children? I just wish I had the answers.

FF has a Pregnancy, Stillbirth & Neonatal loss section which you might be interested in ~ CLICK HERE

Sending you huge hugs

Sue


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Hi Sue,

Thanks for your message and support. I think this has dragged up my feelings about my abortion and I think I need to deal with both losses before I can move on. I have made an appointment to see a councillor but I feel as though I need some spiritual advice too. Do you have any idea about where I can go for that? Can I just walk into a church and ask to speak to a priest? I don't even know what I'd say? Can God forgive me? Can I forgive myself?


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Perhaps you are beating yourself up about both, Emma, and perhaps it has brought the words of the nun back into the forefront of your mind.  God is forgiving, please remember that.

Sorry, I am not sure where to go for spiritual advice as I don´t live in the UK.  I hope some of the other ladies here will be along soon and can give you some advice on that.  

I am glad you made an appointment with the councillor, I hope you find some peace and comfort from the sessions.

Sue


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## angel star (Jan 21, 2011)

Emma, firstly big   for the pain you are suffering with your recent miscarriage. Hang in there however impossible it may seem at the moment. 

That nun was so so wrong to say that to you. I am a catholic and I know the church can be quite damning at times but I also have found great solace and comfort in having my faith to turn to in times of pain (not always easy though). Take a look at what damage the paedophile priests have caused to so many children and the nuns who have abused countless girls and women in those awful houses in Ireland. They are not Christ like and have no place in society - whoever is without sin cast the first stone springs to mind. I believe our God is a kind and compassionate God. You have lived with this for 10 years and that is a long time. I know it probably seems like a punishment and I have said that many times about my IF but I truly believe deep down our God is not like that. I'm probably not allowed to publicise this here but I do know an organisation you could go and talk to someone about this, but it sounds like you have counselling sorted for now. PM me if you do want it though.

You could walk into any church and speak to a priest but the problem with that is you don't know them. The last thing you need now is someone else not to be caring. I felt so bad about having ICSI but the 3 priests I spoke to were very caring and not judgemental - ok they have to say certain things regarding the churches teachings but they also understand the human side of all of us, including themselves. I would do a little research first, ask around. 

Take care of yourself and I pray that God will give you the healing you need for your losses. xx


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## Spuds (Aug 6, 2008)

Emma    


My heart goes out to you xxx the same thing happened to me - I had a termination 11 years ago and I didn't grieve for it until 1 year before my missed m/c - I had no idea I was able to 'hold' grief for so long and the impact it had on my daily life xx


When we did get pregnant naturally - our 'miracle' was sadly not to stay with us - I had just moved to the Channel Islands and asked my vicar (who I had never met previously) to come over - we sat - talked - and I cried and we prayed for our little soul and he gave me enormous strength and courage x


I asked the same questions - if you look up my posts around 11 August last year I was in the same place hun xx - it does get better xxxx


But I know that God does not punish full stop - so please please do not beat yourself up about something that was not your fault - I had my termination for many reasons but the main one was to protect a child from having the most horrendous father on the planet both genetically and socially - I do not regret that decision - I was protecting them from a life I would not wish on my worst enemy and I still pray for them to continue being happier in Gods care. Equally please do not feel that you ever have to justify such a personal decision - only our hearts know the pain, suffering and hidden grief a termination brings - it really is ok to grieve that loss as much as any other hun xxx


In my first counselling session - all I could do was cry for a solid hour  - the most expensive cry ever but the most therapeutic one   


I can strongly strongly recommend Jane at Zita West if you need help, guidance, understanding and peace - please pm me if you feel you need to talk and/or need any more info


Good luck hun and God Bless
xx


Spuds
xx


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