# fed up with family going on about what great parents they are...



## misskitten (Oct 31, 2010)

need to get this off my chest.

I know this sounds spiteful but I am absolutely fed up with my family going on about what great parents my other relatives are, and how devoted they are in spite of their difficult working hours and low income. 

Yes they have a beautiful little girl and I adore her, and I agree they are great parents, I just feel like screaming about how lucky they are and that ultimately they chose to have a child.  

I want to say how much I would love that chance, how I too would make sacrifices and be a good parent. But of course I can't bring everyone down by mentioning IF and TX.

I just feel that my DP and I are of no interest and the things we do are unimportant.


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## Beandreaming (Sep 14, 2012)

It is so hard when people say things carelessly without thinking.  I have friends who do it all the time.

Didn't want to read and run so just wanted to say GOOD LUCK for #3.  Try not to let them upset you and hopefully in a year you'll be the one holding the baby xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

reminds me of that incredibly annoying baby food advert that goes on about what a great job mums are doing. Like it's something heroic. As opposed to a great honour. It's not a public service to have a baby! 

i've spent years feeling like everything i do it pointless, because it wouldn't matter what i achieved, compared to being able to have a baby it just seemed meaningless. Which is ironic really as when i was younger i was adamant that my children (in those days i expected three) would grow up knowing i was 'more than just a mother'. haha. how crazy was i?


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## misskitten (Oct 31, 2010)

thanks for your kind words Beandreaming 

Goldbunny, so true about adverts, as well as all the marketing and packaging for 'families' and 'mums'. It feels like you can't escape it sometimes!
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy


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## MariMar (May 14, 2013)

Hi Both,

It's true - just went for a very disappointing Day 7 stimms scan (only 6 ok follies visible in total, with only 2 being classed as 'good'), and on my and DH's way back we saw 3 pregnant women and 2 adverts for IVF and fertility treatment in the Tube! Don't know if I just didn't notice these things before, but they certainly seem to be popping up with a vengeance!

Families often just don't understand, and sometimes I have to remind myself that only people who have gone through IF truly understand the pain and stress of it all, and how sensitive and in a vulnerable place you can be. My parents won't stop talking about how excited they'll be to be grandparents and what they're doing to prepare... Pre-emptive much! I'm worried they'll jinx us, and it also feels like even more pressure on me, knowing that DH and I won't be the only ones disappointed if it doesn't work out... Also, plenty of friends just not responding the way I'd hoped (in an open, supportive way), or even worse, telling me to 'value your sleep and spare time now while you can!', as if I don't think it would be worth it (or frankly, as if I'm sleeping much with all the drugs in my system and worries about the treatment!).

You can't really win, but at least there are plenty of ladies on FF (and in the world!) who are also going through the same and understand... You've got to just remember that people are different, and can't respond in the best way for everyone, always. Are you thinking of saying something to your parents?

Good luck, and babydust... *Goldbunny*, it's good to see you - I remember you from when I first joined FF - great to see that all's going well with your lovely bean


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