# Secondary Infertility part 3 2004



## jeanette

new home xxxx


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## jeanette

Hi everyone

Hope you are all well.

Welcome to all the new members to this section. Ohh wouldnt it be fab if we could meet up  !

Cant believe where the time has gone  ! The six weeks holiday has just flown. Alexandra has decided that she wants to stay in the infantc as when she starts the juniors she is going to have to work hard! arr bless.

My little girl has become really grown up over the last few months.... . Knows exactly what she will and wont wear!! Keeps pinching all my makeup as well!!!!

Nothing new happening with me. Going back to work in sept after being off on long term sickness. Anxious about going back, but it needs to be done.

Ohhh Im so desparate for another baby...cant explain how I feel really. But I know you will all understand. We have decided that once Im back into 'work mode' we will decide whats to happen next. Im going back 4 days a week (30 hours) so looking forward to that.

Take care everyone

love

jeanette xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Mrs Chaos

Hi everyone
good to see you back Jeanette, and I agree it would be lovely for us all to meet up.
I was having a good day today, up early spring in my step and tanked through the housework..until I my sil called me to make the final arrangements for us having her son for a week, in a couple of weeks.
Had a lovely conversation with my darling nephew, he was 4 years in March, and he was babbling on about if he could bring this dvd that dvd and his paints, crayons, play doh, and books, toys etc. (think he's moving in permanently lol)
I got off the phone feeling all excited and wondered what I might have of Sam's that would be appropriate for him.
Looking around my (almost teenage) son's room, and deciding where to put my nephews things etc suddenly made me feel so empty!   
I don't have an easel, and lego scattered around the room anymore. I don't have half finished paintings of leaves and hand prints. I don't have to tidy up little slippers and tiny pj's to snuggle up to Teddy's on his pillow, and it hit me so hard!
There is a desk, PS2, hi-fi, lynx, hair gel, hair spray and various clothes scattered around his "pit" (lol) and pictures of Gollum, Star Trek, & "PRIVATE KEEP OUT!" on his door!  
Where's my "little boy" gone?.....when did he grow up?  
Strange how it hits you isn't it......
Oh well...off to sort out my "little man's" room....and reclaim my trainer socks  
hope you are all well 
Gayn
XXXXX


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## REC

Am feeling a little low at min, my gorgeous dd will be 13 this friday.. Although I'm delighted I can't help wondering if she will be my only living child.
After ttc for 4 yrs with AJ then losing him & still no sign of pg 15 months later I keep thinking should I just give up & resign myself to having an only child.
I wish somehow the decision would be taken out of my hands & either get pg again or just be told, no more thats enough.. Do you think I'm being paranoid, mad or just need carting off to the nearest funny farm by the men in white coats??  
Thanks for listening

Love
Roz xx


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## Charli

Hi all, 
Roz, I know what you mean about wishing decisions could be made for you, I'm finding it really hard at the moment deciding to even start my first treatment. I feel under so much pressure from Dh and Dd (even though she's only 3!) to have another baby - don't get me wrong, I DO want one...but..I feel really anxious about it and just not ready but feel will be letting everyone down if I delay. Now even my mum and dad keep asking me have I phoned the clinic yet - ARGHH! I think part of me still believes it will happen naturally and then I won't have to go through all this stuff, more appointments, hospitals, consultants, tests etc etc  . Felt like crying in the car today when dd asked me if her baby was in my tummy yet and when I said no she said "it's not fair, everyone else has got a baby except me, I want my real baby now and will the nurse at the hospital give us our baby to keep when she's washed it...and...and...." and off she went chattering on about her 'real' baby that she's going to have and I feel like I'm the ONLY thing stopping her and Dh from having 'their' baby. Felt selfish and guilty and confused about what I want       Oh no this is turning into a full-on therapy session  That's good I suppose as afraid to bring up my feelings about all this with Dh as I don't want to worry him into thinking I don't want another baby, because I do but I'm not ready to go through with the treatment at the moment. Dh and I are normally so close and tell each other our worries but this seems so big that it's scary. I told him I'd phone the clinic when I'd lost a stone because I would be happier to do treatment if I'd lost weight but I know deep down that this is just a stalling tactic but not sure why. I felt ok before having this rant, what are you doing to me FF?!  .  I'm laughing but really feel quite low and tearful last couple of days as I kind of know that Dh knows I'm stalling as it's all going to blow up one of these days. I can feel the emotions simmering if you know what I mean! Neither of us has spoken about the treatment at all for a few weeks but I know it's on his mind and he's dying to ask me when i'm going to phone the clinic. Oh, I could go on all night...but I won't! Anyway all will look better in the morning, will stop waffling now, love to all Charli xx


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## jeanette

Hi everyone

hope you are well.

Roz..you arent going mad, but I do hear what you are saying. Im not ready to give up yet...but I feel that the time is just flying by.

Chali..hope you are feeling better. I am overweight..but Im the same weight as I was when I got pg with my dd. I still feel that it will 'happen naturally'. Every month I bvuild myself up 'is this the month' just to find the nasty old witch makes an unwelcome appearance.

gayn..i hear what your saying about kids growing up!!! 

Im off out today!! need to enjoy the sunshine today following the rain and thunder storms yesturday!!!!

hugs n kisses to you all

love

jeanettte xxxxxxxxxxx

ps maybe we could arrange to meet in one of the chatrooms next week.....


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## Charli

Thanks Jeanette, feel much better today after my 'off load' last night and the sun is shining here too!   (the ol' monthly hormones probably had something to do with it!) Thanks again ,love C x


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## spider

Hi

Just wanted to pop in to say hello. I haven't been on for a while - am 19w but started bleeding at 12, v heavy and have been trying to stay as horizontal as pos for the past 7w. I hope it is all going to stay put, have 20w scan next week - they said the baby was ok at prev scans but couldn't say what was going to happen and if the bleeding would become v heavy again (still spotting a little).

I can understand what you are feeling Charli - we were exactly the same and put off treatment for quite a while. I kept thinking it will happen because it had before and I felt if I started tx that would be it, it would never happen naturally ever again - irrational, I know.... My son was also saying the same as your dd, all the time! My dh left all the planning etc to me. I think he was just feeling so guilty as it is MF. We had our first icsi in April - hopefully baby will be born in Jan 05.

Ros - hope your dd birthday goes well tomorrow and it isn't too upsetting for you. Sorry you are feeling low - are you in between tx at the moment? You def aren't mad, was feeling that for so long - that my ds might be an only child, esp when he was obsessed with having a sibling. Now he said he is praying every night that the baby is ok (goes to catholic sch), as we had to tell him about the problems, and feel he shouldn't be having to be so worried at his little age. I heard him saying the other day that 'we might have a baby soon...' Sorry, I'm rambling.

Jeanette - It is amazing how time flies - kids that make that happen me thinks, I can't believe that my child is going into year 1 (he wants to stay in reception!!!). I know he is still a baby, in fact think we do treat him a little babyishly (word) compared to his friends. Hope your next tx goes well, have you planned anything in yet?

Gayn - I was looking around at my home after reading your posts and thinking about what you said - toys everywhere. I'm always trying to tidy, but think you're right, it is for such a short period of time. I should make the most of having a 'kiddy' house. You'll surely find yours that way when your nephew is around - hope you have nice weather for your week together.

sorry, have gone on and on...

love spider xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jeanette

Hi everyone

How are you all??

Its gone very quiet on here!

Well im all organised for school next week  !

Its my dd birthday in september so party invitations have been done (trampolining party!!). Birthday presents nearly brought. Party bags sorted!!  

And even worse then that....christmas shopping has begun ! 

How organised am I ??

AF was late again this month...hopes raised again. When am I ever gonna face up to it....it isnt gonna happen naturally.

Take care

love

jeanette xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jeanette

Dear Spider

This is such a worrying time for you. I bled till approx 24 weeks..they thought I had cervical erosions (due to the pg hormones apparently).

Thinking of you and praying that you get some answers next week.

Love

Jeanette xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Charli

hi all,

Spider, thanks for that. Sometimes feel like "if it aint broke , don't fix it"  but I know its not as simple as that and poor dh would do anything to 'fix' his problem and go back to before the hernia. Anyway had long talk on tues with my dad (he's a GP and a good listener!) and then a big talk with Dh the next day and aired a few worries and fears about whole thing. I realise that I'm more worried about being pregnant again than anything else. Worried about ALL that can go wrong and what if anything happened to me what would my dd and dh do?    etc ...etc... You know what its like, you start getting wildly irrational about everything and a teeny bit hysterical   . Dh reasured me that our next appointment is only more blood tests and sperm tests etc so not going 'under the knife' as it were quite yet! Maybe I'll make the appointment next week   Anyway, rambling again! Good place to do it though as 'others' do tend to get bored don't they!!

Jeanette, my little one is starting pre-school next week so also trying to get uniforms and clean shoes sorted! Hope she's ok, I know she's really nervous more little mite! I keep telling her it's only until 11 am and then we'll go home for lunch and mummy will come and get you...aw  I'll just have to be tough!
Roz, hope your dd birthday went ok today, not too many tears from mum! 

Love to all , Charli x


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## REC

Hi Charli

Yes my DD had a wonderful day, thank you for asking & yes I managed NO tears lol
She seem to have turned in to "Kevin" these past few wks though & both myself & DP are wishing for our "little Girl" back.. I can see myself still trying for another baby for the next few years, I am not giving up yet.. An old work colleague thought she was going through the change (she's 43 next month) and has just found out she's 5 months pg instead so I definately have a good few years left lol lol
Take care
Love to all

Roz xx


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## Prentis

Hi everyone,

Hope you don't mind me jumping in as a newbie.  I have been reading the whole 2nd Fert thread this afternoon and it made me cry.  I can so relate to everyone's feelings.  We are blessed with a 6 yr old son called George who was concieved through ICSI first time.  We have had such a nightmare ever since we started trying for No 2.  All my friends have 2 or 3 children and have no idea what we are going through.  The insensitive remarks such as 'at least you have 1' make me feel like screaming.  We had to hide the fact that we were doing ICSI yet again from my DH's parents as they would not approve.  They cannot understand the desperate need and feel that we should not be wasting our money.  Luckily, my mother is v. supportive, but it was so nice to discover this website.  I do not feel so alone now.

I have just got a +ive result (4th ICSI) on Thursday and even though I am delighted, at the same time I am terrified of everything going wrong because that is what I have learnt to expect.  At the moment I feel like we've just got over another huge hurdle and am just waiting for the first scan on 20th September!  If all goes well then EDD will be 6th May 05!  We have not told George this time, as he was so disappointed when I m/c'd.  I cannot bear him to go through all that again.

I wish you all the best of luck.  It is a long a hard journey and I think we should be given gold medals for what we have to endure!

Love to you all

Martina


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## Fee

Hi everyone - been on holiday for over 2 weeks, but good to be back on FF and catching up with you all.

Gayn - I so felt about what you said about the lego and stuff everywhere. It feels like our house is overwhelmed with Laura's stuff sometimes - but your post made me think I should moan and worry less and enjoy this messy time while it lasts. 

Can't believe school starts again on Thursday! STILL haven't bought Laura's school tops!

Fee xxxxx


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## clairea

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I havent been around, not really got any excuses... Just wanted to pop in and say hi again to you all and keep hoping and praying - Have felt quite guilty about not posting on here, but didnt want to feel as though i was rubbing your noses in it... For those who didnt see, Sophie was born 7wks ago weighing 10lb 11oz nearly 3 years after we first started trying...
There is a ray of hope for everyone
Good luck
Claire xx 

PS Forgot to say to Fee & Jeanette - Leah starts school tomorrow


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## Charli

Hi Prentis, I know exactly what you mean about other people's reactions. We've also had plenty of "at least you have one" comments   I don't really talk to anyone about it any more and only off-load on this site. It's such a relief to be able to rant and rave about your feelings on here and know that you're not going to be judged in any way, also to know that people on this site really do understand no matter what your personal circumstances surrounding infertility are. We're all here to help each other, good luck , love Charli


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## RSMUM

Just wanted to say Hi to everyone and ask how you are all doing. How have the first day's back at school been? My DD went for the first time yesterday although she has been going to nursery at the school.She went in fine  but as I walked towards the school to collect her I heard howling - yes, it was mine!! She'd been screeching for an hour! She has a big issue with food and had freaked out at lunch - refused to sit with the other kids and didn't eat a thing - am hoping she'll settle down and want to try some thing once she gets bored of being left out. 

Don't know about any of the rest of you but I'm having a dreadful time with her - I'm on my 2ww so am trying not to pick her up - she's been an absolute madam running away from the table, refusing to get in the bath, brush teeth..etc...aarrrgghh!!  ..but I do love her sooo much...

Great to read someone on here has just had a BFP - all the best for the next 8/9 months Martina - will be thinking of you on the 20th.

Thanks for writing Claire - and congrats!! You must be thrilled - 10lb 11oz? She sounds like a very healthy little bundle! Enjoy!

All the best to everyone I've forgotten to mention..hope you're day's as sunny as mine - out to the garden for a hour of peace now..sigh!

Rsmum xxxx


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## RSMUM

Just wanted to add - a sad, sad note..nobody prepared me  
( when struggling to have my little girl) for how I would feel seeing horrible things happen to kids...have been in a right state after seeing those horrible images on the news last night - couldn't stop crying..and thinking of those poor families..made me hug my ( very naughty! ) DD even closer....what an incredible thing it is to be a parent, I really hope and pray that all those on this site still struggling to get number 1 someday hold their babies in their arms..so grateful to have my little one..

sorry to rant but hoped you would understand...

D xxx


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## Prentis

Hi RSMUM, how far in to the 2ww are you?  Wishing you lots of .  I know what you mean about the hostage crisis.  I also sat there crying and had to change channels.  George as having a sleepover at friend's house and I wanted to call him and check he was okay.  Common sense prevailed as it was quite late!!

I'm really crap today as jeans to tight when top button is done up!!!  Tummy hangs over and I feel like a lump of lard.  I'm only 5 wks!  You are meant to be like this at 12 wks.  Gave up jogging after et which does not help.  Still, it will be all worth it - fingers crossed!!  Feeling v. tired and have no energy.  DH working today, so on my own with DS.  Meant to go cycling but have not got energy.  DS watching Tom & Jerry videos - feeling guilty - bad mother syndrome!

Anyway, love and best wishes to you all.

Martina


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## RSMUM

I test on Sept 15th - congrats on being 5 weeks - best of luck for the next 8 months. I remember last year when I got pregnant again I ballooned immediately - it WAS pretty scary as I wondered what I'd be like in months to come (but I do think the litre of milk I had to drink every day and the fact that straight away I started eating tons of protein and stuff had something to do with it) .

As you say though it will all be worth it in the end - you sound pretty fit so you'll lose it easily - I am a lazy so-and-so and was just managing to begin to shift it (2 and a half years  )after my DD when I started IVF4 and bloated out again - ah well..

Take care and go out and treat yourself to some bigger jeans 

x


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## Nikki

Hi everyone,

Just got back after a week's hols in Cornwall followed by a week at home making the most of it before Fin goes bck to school. He's going to be in Year 6! I can't believe it.

Gayn: I know exactly what you mean about the toys etc. We let Fin have the spare TV in his room for the summer hols so that he could play on his Xbox with his friends when they came for sleepovers. I don't think it'll be easy to get him to give it back! He's got hair gel and deoderant and aftershave (but the consolation there is that we won't have smelly teenagers, or does the novelty wear off?) and I am fighting to keep the lego in his room, even though he hasn't played with it for over a year. I can't bear to put that in the loft too. On the other hand there are still five teddy bears and various beany toys mixed in among the CDs and skateboards etc. And he doesn't want to go to sleepovers at the moment because he misses us too much (though I suspect he thinks we might be having fun in his abscence and doesn't want to miss out)

Spider: Hope all is going well with you, my fingers are crossed.

Jeanette: You are very organised!! Haven't done any shopping yet or written a list, but did count up and now know there are fifteen weeks to Christmas from this Saturday!! AF being late is one of life's really mean tricks isn't it – I fall for it each time and let myself play the am I/aren't I guessing game and then she arrives and I feel so down. Are you back at work now?

Charli: Wish I could think of something useful to say. I'm sure you'll know when the time is right for you to try again. Have you thought of talking to the fertility councillor, it might help.

Lots of love to everyone,
Nikki


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## spider

hi everyone

charli - hope jeanette enjoyed starting school.. i'm sure she will be fine when she meets the other children.. we worry more than them i think! also, don't worry about being irrational.... I am so irrational, keep worrying about something happening too and worrying about ds constantly, feel like I'm going (gone!) a bit mad sometimes

roz - i knew someone through work who also thought it was the menopause and found herself preg at 45... also when we were away at easter the cottage was owned by a nurse who said that one of her friends gave birth to twins at 49, conc naturally (is that pos at 49)

prentis - congratulations, here's to a happy and healthy pregnancy. I am a big lump at 20w, also started getting big early, much bigger than first time around when at this stage I hadn't even told some family members and no one guessed!!!

claire - congratulations on the birth of sophie - hope you are recovering well from the birth... hope leah is settling into sch too... nice news for her to share with her friends

rsmum - sending you positive thoughts for your 2ww, really hope it's a bfp for you... my son was the same starting sch last year, he isn't usually phased by anything but was really clingy and upset starting reception, fine after a couple of weeks though.. i know what you mean about the children in russia, have been kissing my son felix so much, esp when he is asleep and looks so much younger ... it's so upsetting

nikki - thanks, the bleeding has stopped (for good, i hope). we had the 20w scan last week which was ok apart from they want us back to check the heart and profile in more detail as said they couldn't see it properly... more worried now, don't think i will relax throughout this preg, just can't wait for my baby to be born in jan and so want her to be healthy (a girl, is that really 100%, saw a prog on sky and they told the woman it was a girl and was a boy??!!!)

15w to xmas, aaarrrgghhhhh..... hang on... aren't we still supposed to be having an indian summer!!!!!!!!

hope you are all keeping well and the school starts are going well. my son was told off for talking today, frequently happens, isn't it sweet how honest they are at 5, he tells me everything....

love spider xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Charli

Hi all, gosh just read so many posts I can't remember what everyone said!  But in general also felt very scared and upset at russian siege and held my dd tighter, even though she was struggling and telling me to get off as she couldn't see 'Dora' !! 
RSMUM - My dd also being 'challenging' at the moment as also started pre-school last thurs. I know mine always starts being difficult and 'mouthy' (!) when she's feeling insecure or worried. She could also be picking up on your 2ww. I know she can't possibly understand any of it but she will sense that you are feeling tense and anxious. (the're like animals these little ones! 6th sense)
Spider - glad to hear someone else feels like they're losing it! Dd doing fine at shcool and loves being a real schoolgirl. she puts her tiny packpack on to walk from the house to the car and then takes it off!
Nikki - thanks for wise words, is there a fertility councillor available through this site or do you mean at my clinic? good advice tho.

Also good luck to all pregnant mums - don't forget to let everyone how tired you are and in need of pampering!! 

love charli x


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## RSMUM

BFN for me this morning so am gutted!   Had really hoped it had worked this time and that our DD could have a brother or sister ( she's just started taking an interest in babies so it's starting..)...ah well, what can I say? I wonder why we put ourselves through this sometimes...

Feel really sick and dissappointed...

Thanks for all your support.

D xx


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## Prentis

Dear RSMUM

So sorry to hear your sad news.  I was thinking of you as I remembered you were testing on the 15th.  Give yourself some time out and spoil yourself.  You deserve it.

Love Martina
xxx


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## spider

RSMUM, so sorry to hear your news. I was really hoping for a positive for you. sending lots of (((((((hugs))))))))) your way.

love spider xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## spider

Prentis, sorry missed your post there. Congratulations, good news - wishing you a happy and healthy preg.

love spider xxxxxx


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## jeanette

Hi everyone

How are you all today?

rsmum- thinking of you xxxxx ((((()))))) so gutted for you

charli- the counsellor will be through gp/ clinic/ hospital. I too was very upset about the seige. I couldnt stop crying.

prentis- many congratulations on your bfp. enjoy !!

clairea- lovely to hear from you. Hope you are all well.

fee- ohhh school. Alexandra loves juniors!!! cant believe that my little girl is now 8 !!! Give laura a kiss n cuddle from me

spider- children are honest...reakon most become selective when they become teenagers !!!

nikki- I love cornwall! We are off to polperro in october!

roz- how are you?

With my daughters birthday last week I am feeling that time is going so fast. I am feeling abit 'wobbly' at the moment...that feeling of wanting another baby is very painful. Alexandra still cries at times for a brother or sister..it breaks my heart. We have decided (reluctantly I have agreed to move the goalposts) that we will decided after xmas which route we are going to take. Im not ready to give up yet although I feel that dh would.

Thankyou all for reading my post..I know that you all know where I am coming from.

love

jeanette xxxxx


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## Twinmummie

Hi Girls

I hope you don't mind me joining your thread.I'm also still trying for baby number 2 my baby is now 16,smelly,six foot four hulk of a thing and resembles "KEVIN". Wouldn't change him though.I have had numerous losses between 6-12 weeks and also 1 ectopic resulting in me losing 1 tube,we tried icsi last year and got a BFP but sadly lost at 6 weeks due to immune issues,we got my immune system just right for icsi number 2 last month but sadly got a BFN. So back to the begininning.Where do we go from here ?.DH has mentioned adopting as really can't afford another go at the moment as  we have spent nearly £18000 in  year.So maybe adoption is an answer.

I look forward to getting to know you all

Love Georgia
xx


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## Fee

Hi girls

Jeanette - OH YES - know just where you are coming from. Could have been me and my DH. I'm feeling a bit at the moment that we will make a decision not to go ahead with more txt, so that Laura can know for definite that no siblings for her. She said in the car the other day "I hope I do get a sister or brother - they'd be such company for me when you are gone" - gone where?? She meant we were dead love her!! I really hope you and your Richard get that much wanted sibling for Alexandra xxxx How's the cat?

Debs (RSMUM), really so very sorry for your negative. Life is so unfair and painful sometimes. Huge hugs to you <<<<<<<<<RSMUM>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Charli - my dd was quite a handful in pre-school/reception last year. She may be bored too if she's bright. My dd has really settled better this year as she has a teacher who sets firm boundaries and lots of work!!!

Sue - brave post from a brave lady hun. Love you lots

Was awake until 2.30 am this morning and had a few tears about Max. (our snowbaby). If feels impossible that we will ever have the money to have Max put back. I have loads of clothes of Lolly's saved "for Max" and I'm feeling we should get rid of all the baby stuff. Heartbreaking. How long do you keep stuff for before you give up?

Fee


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## REC

Hiya Ladies

Thought I'd pop in and say hello..

Have now recovered from dd 13th birthday & wiped away the tears..
I think Laura has now stopped nagging for a sibling as she can see how upsetting it is (plus she saw all what I went through as I has AJ at home), so that does take a little bit of pressure off us!  

Am still here 16mths after my loss & have been having a few thoughts just recently about what to do next, do I continue   or say enough is enough and just try to get on with my life..    I will have that little nagging voice in my head for ages saying you should have continued or will it be saying good on ya girl, make the most of what ya have!! 
It doesn't help that   is now playing up again, have been 28/29 days for the last 6 mths and now I'm on day 33 with really bad pains just waiting for her to show her ugly head..    

Sorry for rambling, guess it's that time of the month & when your hopes are dashed your automatic defense mechanism jumps in  

Take care ladies..

Love
Roz xx


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## Cherub75

Hi guys,

Sorry its been months since I last came on here, I do appologise.  I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is.

As for me, for the time being Daniel has eased of the baby talk (wish I could say the same about me), he's not really mentioned anything for a while, which is a bit surprising as one of his closest mates' mums' had a baby boy during the summer holidays, so just expected him to "want one too".

Anyway, hopfully we are one step closer to the brother or sister I so want for him.  After 2 unsuccessful Clomid cycles (no ov) the clinic has put us straight forward for IUI, I have all the drugs waiting and ready to go.  I have an HSG X-ray on Tuesday and then we'l be ready. Although we will wait until the end of October when we come back from a long weekend at Butlins.

Good to hear some fantastic news, and sorry to hear some sad news.  Sending each of you my love.

Emma xx


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## Charli

Hi all, haven't posted for ages as STILL having got around to making appointment to start treatment. Sometimes feel like a fraud posting on here as haven't even been thro' anything like what some have been and are going through to have a baby. 
RSMUM - So sorry that you had a negative result, was thinking of you many times and wondering how things were going.    Hope your dd is more settled at school, love to you and your dh. 
Emma - my little dd keeps on and on about another baby, whether its going to be a boy or a girl and what she will and won't let it play with etc etc  No pressure then !!
Fee - Dd has settled at school but seems to be getting worse at home. I think you might be right about her needing more demanding work at school, she's only there for 2 hours which flies by. She's so demanding and very short tempered, wanting things done for her immediately or screaming and shouting ensues. She's also sleeping very badly, she goes to bed with no problem but then wakes several times during the early hours wanting to come into our bed. No matter how many times we put her back she just keeps on geeting out until we're so frazzled and fed up thant we start shouting at her which is horrible. Sometimes (I hate to admit) I don't look forward to picking her up from school or grandparents because she's just not very pleasant to look after. she's such a bright, intelligent and beautiful little girl, I don't know what's going on. Help help!
Phew, sorry about that, didn't realise how much I needed a rant!  
Better go, being told to hurry up by her majesty!
C. xx


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## RSMUM

Hey Charli - was worrying about you - glad to see you back - thanks for the kind thoughts - please don't ever apologise for ranting - that's what we're here for!  - and, as far as I'm concerned asnyone's welcome however they got their kids, however many they have and whether they're trying for another, deciding to complete their family or whatever - it's wonderful to know ther's people out there supporting eacj other end trying to help.

So pleased your DD has settled - mine has too now she doesn't have to endure school lunches   . It sounds like Fee is right - R goes from 9-1 and is getting more demanding in the sense that she wants to do more stuff like painting and colouring - and of course I have to help - no escaping for mummy.  Think it's just that she's been inspired to do all that stuff continually at school. She must be going through the same as yours though as we've suddely got this wakling up lark - I have completely caved in though and let her creep into bed with me - she says " I CAN'T sleep" in a really pained voice...I put it down to being overwhelemd still and having vivid dreams as she's learning so quickly and having so many new experiences. We've tried every combination of light on/off, hall lght on etc.etc...what can you older mums say to advise?!  

It does sound to me that your DD is frustrated - I reckon they are growing so quickly their little minds just get a bit over worked..

Charli is there anyone at the clinic you could just chat to over the phone - informally - so that you can feel more at ease about the whole thing? If there's anything I can do - please don't ehsitate to call, I am plannign to come over to Bagnor to meet with Caron again soon too so would love to meet up.

How's everyone else doing? I haven't had much time to  post recently but getting into a routine now..so hopefully will be able to settle a bit.

Hope all's well..

Rsmum 
xxx


----------



## Nikki

Hi Girls,

Haven't posted for ages. Had a rotten cold last week, DH depressed about work and DS doesn't want to do any homework!! I think I'd like to have another go at IVF but DH going through mid-life crisis and is really down at the moment, worrying about pensions and how much money we won't have when he retires (he's fifty), hates his job but doesn't seem to have the confidence to look for another one. Another baby, if we were that lucky, would be wonderful but would make life difficult (just found out our local nurseries charge £850+). Sometimes I find it hard to believe that most people decide to have a baby and just have one and that's it!! Really don't know what to do for the best.

RSMUM I am soooo sorry. I wish I could think of something useful to say. It's not fair. I hope you're taking time to be kind to yourself. My thoughts are with you and I'm sending lots of hugs.

Fee I don't know how long you keep things for. I have most of Fin's things from the past ten years. Every time I nearly decide to get rid of stuff a voice in my head persuades me to wait a bit longer. Isn't it awful that these huge emotional decisions come down to money? I find it hard to accept that we can't have treatment on the NHS for something that isn't our fault when people who have brought abouyt their illnesses are treated free.

Roz  I really think that if we can't get pregnant we shouldn't have to deal with PMT as well!! I was iin the car this morning with DS and found myself crying to the words of Teenage Dirtbag (it's the bit at the end when she asks him out!!) I think I need help!!

Emma  Wishing you lots of good luck, my fingers are crossed.

Charli You rant away. It's not always easy being a mum, especially when you've got emotional issues to deal with.

I'm going to go home tonight, lock the bathroom door and have a really long soak.

Keep your peckers up girls,
Love 
Nikki


----------



## Charli

Thanks to all for words of understanding! We have resorted to buying a dummy tonight although haven't revealed it yet! Will save it for the first waking at around 2 ish!!  
Thanks RSMUM for continuing to make me welcome (still feel like a lightweight! ) I am so tempted to let dd sleep with us but it means poor dh is ousted out into dd's little bed - I'll be comfy though!
Emma - when is your birthday! I noticed your tickertape thing, I'm on the 21st Oct. Dd's demands for baby seem to be escalating. She said to me tonight "why am I the only one? I can't wait for my baby, I want to be a big sister..." Brings tears to your eyes. Could be part of her attitude problem at the moment actually, but can't fix that with a dummy.
Nikki - Busted are one thing, just don't listen to Radiohead when you're feeling a bit iffy!!  

Love to all Charli x


----------



## em75

Hi   all
I have to say I have felt a bit of a fraud on other threads, I am blessed with 7 yr old, very cheeky d/d and due to start 1st round of iui this week.  It is definately a comfort knowing that there are other mums out there just as desperate to add to their family's.

 to you all

Emma


----------



## Cherub75

Hi girls

Emma ~ Hi and welcome.  I too felt like a fraud, when everyone around is desperate to conceive child #1, and there is me blessed with my ds (6yrs old) and desperate for child #2, until I found this board.  I now realise that whether we have 0, 1, 2, 3 etc.  we are all suffering from IF problems, and all need help and support from others in a similar situation, so here's mine to you.  I too am due to start IUI in matter of weeks, having gone through 4 unsuccesful Clomid cycles in  the last 12 months.  Good luck hun.

Charli ~ My birthday is on 20th.  We went through a period where Daniel kept getting up and wanting to come in with us, and to be honest I gave in and let him in, I needed my sleep.  It was very cramped, but it was better than keep geting up to see to him.  

Nikki ~ Hope you had that long soak and enjoyed some 'me' time.

Jeanette ~ How are you hun, not heard from you in a while.

Fee ~ Hope you, Lolly and Richard are ok.

Love to anyone I've missed, still trying to get myself back established with this thread  

TTFN

Love

Emma xx


----------



## Charli

Emma - I relented last night and let dd in bed with me in middle of the night! I have to admit we both had really solid sleep for the first time in ages for a few hours  Not sure about poor hubby tho, poor thing went into her bed!!
(I'll keep looking at your birthday countdown now so I can remind everyone how long till mine! plenty of time to prepare expensive presents;trip to bahamas;party etc etc   )


----------



## RSMUM

Just realised I said"older mums" in my post...I meant mums with older kids - I'm 42!!!  

Charli, I asked my DD's teacher about this sleeping thing so it'll be interesting to see what she says..I wanted to know if a sticker- reward system might work...typically DD had a fit this morning when I took her in so didn't get a chance to really talk..sigh!Am really feeling this thing now that you're all going through - although I'm lucky DD doesn't demand a sister/brother it really makes me sad that she only has mum and dad to play with ( perhpas it's cos we had a 20 month old here last week..)..ah well..

Hope you all have a good weekend.

D xx


----------



## Fee

RSMUM - reading your posts about the reward scheme, the trials of starting school brings back me at this time last year most painfully.  It is a really difficult year - and I think parents and schools should really get their heads together to sort out some solutions. I ended up with clinical depression cos I thought it was just my child. (see 2003 Oct posts from me to HV - I thought Laura had SEN.  She is now one of the top children in her class and has so settled down. Really, really want to hold your hand through this and say IT WILL GET BETTER. IT is not you or your dd. It's the system. Hold on tight and do what you have to do.

Heaps of love
Fee xxxxxxx


----------



## Charli

Thought I'd get things going again on this thread! Seems to have gone quiet recently. Hope everyone is ok and feeling positive about their situations whatever they may be. 
RSMUM - so lovely to meet you on Thursday, hope we can get together again soon, maybe the three of us could go to the cinema in Llandudno or for a drink or something. Would also be nice to get the girls together for a play. I read the piece you had written when I got home - so good to know others' feelings match your own, and you're right, we are brave!   
Have you seen the photo on the gallery yet? E was very impressed.
I'm off to do some cleaning now     I know, I know it's Friday night, but got people coming to view our house at 10am tommorrow morning ARGHHH and only just found out they're coming.

Speak soon, love to all   Charli x


----------



## em75

hiya charli thanks  

Only posted the once on this thread and was looking for the last couple of days thinking i wish someone would get it going again.

As i don't have much to go on    thought i'd update you about myself (sorry)  was basted on thursday for 1st iui, just about made it (long story)   and am now in the 2ww, which i know will feel like an age.  

Hope you are all okay and wish you all the best with whatever you are doing  

Emma


----------



## RSMUM

Fee - thanks so much for your lovely words, it's so great to get so much support - you are right - although R's school is very small which really helps, it's been hard to find the right time to talk to the teachers - they are all very supportive and her main teacher has a school/home diary which is a great idea..but I've been getting most support from some of the other mums, and so many great comments from other mums and dads as I dash out of the place in the mornings feeling so guilty   It's so sad, though, to arrive at lunchtime to see her attached to the grown-ups and not running around like the other kids..It's wonderful to know how your little one improved and how much better things are for you now. I hope you're feeling better in yourself too..clinical depression is a pretty heavy nut to crack,eh?

Charli - so great to meet you - would love to get R and E to play together..let's stay in touch..and I'm sooo excited that it seems our little support group is growing..hopefully if the lady from Deganwy is up for it we can add another one.

Welcome Em - all the very, very best for the 2ww...thinking of you..

Hi to everyone else..how are you all doing?

Take care y'all ( as my American frineds would say )

Rsmum ( Deb ) xxxx

Charli -


----------



## Charli

Hi all

Emma - so glad you were pleased to see my message! Good luck on 28th, will be thinking of you. 

RSMUM - What is Deganwy girl's name? I'll send her a private message to let her know we all want to meet her (oh no sound like a scary stalker!!) Let her know she's welcome, that sounds better! 
I sometimes take E to the seafront at Llanfairfechan to ride her bike , there's also a playground and a duck pond and nice walk. Any afternoon is fine for me except Fridays. Or half term the week after next if you prefer. Speak soon x
Fee/Deb - worrying about your child's happiness has got to be the most heartrenching and painfull emotions a person can feel. Glad you got through it. I remember when E first started Nursery only 2 afternoons a week and she hated leaving me and vice versa. I remember crying and crying as I left in the car and worrying that I was scarring her emotionally for the rest of her life, but it passes doesn't it and we all grow as a result. I also find other mums are the best source of advice and sympathy because even though we feel like we are the only one's going through something you often find it's EXACTLY the same for everyone else! and you're not alone at all.
Anyway, have a good rest of the weekend,
love Charli x


----------



## jeanette

Hi everyone

Sorry I havent posted in ages. I have no excuse because being tired now that I am back at work.

Rich and alexandra are off to walsall luminations tonights...wish i was going but i cant with my leg. Alexandra is really excited!!

We are off on holiday next week...going down to polperro in cornwall. Cant wait!

Christmas shopping is going well  

Hope you are all well. We should try a meet up for all of us 'secondary infertility girls'...but i dont know where is central!! Im in the west midlands.

hugs n kisses to you all..off for a hot soak in the tub as I am about to be home alone!!!

love

jeanette xxxx


----------



## bridget

hi. have been reading through all the messages on secondary infertility and feel better for it and not such a freak for still being upset by it. People have told me to move on, accept it, adopt, bla bla bla, get over it. I really wish i could. I'm sick of feeling so sad - it's like a cloud following me around and has been for over 5 years now. My head tells me to forget it and accept it - they'd be such a big gap,starting all over again with sleepless nights. By the way, I am 38 (today!), i have a wonderful 6 year old son, concieved naturally, who makes me smile and makes me happy and a wonderful husband - but even he gets fed up with me being sad. LIke you, my son has asked me for a baby brother and has told me he'd get a cot and help me when i told him it was hard for me to have another baby. At the moment babies are coming out of the woodwork for me - one sister-in-law had her 2nd on Friday, my other one had one this morning, 5 other friends have had siblings for their children this year. Supposed to be meeting up with a friend with a new born sibling this week but don't think i can face it. I'd probably cry in front of her. I DREAD CHRISTMAS. what a selfish cow i am or i feel. And then taking my son to school i noticed another woman with a new bump this morning. I could write for days about all this. It is so very hard for all of us. I always wanted a big family. Anyway, i have tried clomid (6 months) and just last week had to abandon my first IVF attempt due to too few follicles. Due to try again in 3 months. Was on a teacher training course but left my job because i couldn't cope with the course and IVF, so now i have no job or career, no baby. Now i need to sort through baby clothes in attic to give to my brother and his wife. I dread doing that job. This message sounds so miserable - I am not totally miserable - honest. You can't really be with a child - you have to get on with it, although some days are harder than others. Sorry for rabbitting on.


----------



## casey

Hi everyone,
I've just finished 2ww and got BFN, been TTC for 4years - no idea why it isn't happening. Anyway I thought I could join you all on this thread. I'm 38 (just) and have a gorgeous 4 (nearly 5) year old daughter. This site has been a godsend for the last few weeks. it really helps to know you're not on your own. 

bridget - everything you're feeling is natural, particuarly following your cancelled cycle and it's good to let it all out sometimes, you'd go mad if you didn't. 

Any way bye for now 
Casey


----------



## Charli

Hi Casey and Bridget, welcome to this thread.  
Bridget  - you're not alone in your feelings, I understand everything you've said. Don't feel guilty about wanting another baby, it doesn't mean that you love your son any less or that you don't appreciate what you've got. None of us on this whole site could probably explain exactly where the need for a child comes from it's just there isn't it. It's so easy for people to say 'accept it' or 'get over it' when they haven't been faced with our situation. Everything changes when you're told you can't concieve naturally. We've all had these comments from well meaning people but the bottom line is they can't possibly understand. Anyway hope you find some strength from sharing your thoughts, I know I treat this site like a therapy session (much cheaper and you can leave when you want! ) Good luck love Charli x

Jeanette, that hot bath sounds like a good idea, enjoy the peace and quiet while you can


----------



## night nurse

Hello girls,

Can I join this thread, I've been posting on the iui board as just over a week ago I got a BFN from my first go.  I am now currently having my second go at it and scan tomorrow to see how many follies I have.

I have two children aged 13 and 10.5 and one of each too so consider myself very lucky but in some ways unlucky because their biological father has nothing to do with them.  We are currently in the throws of my dh adopting them.  All i want is to start again and have a baby with the man I love with all the love and support I should have had the first time.  Friends of mine have remarried and have gone on to have more children with their dh's .  My dh has no children and this is really hard on him.  When I got my BFN I found it was me comforting him rather than the other way around.

At the end of the day I cannot even imagine what the ladies who have no children go through when they get their BFN's but my heart goes out to them and I wish them all the luck in the world that thier day will arrive.  As for me i pray and pray that I can do it again properly (I feel like I am being punished for staying with a ratbag of an ex husband for as long as I did!)

Well if this cycle of iui doesn't work its on to icsi am considering The priory or Care at nottingham.  Is there anyone having tx at these hospitals?

Love NNxx


----------



## Nikki

Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd catch up with you all.

Fee, how did your Licensing go, hope you had a fabulous day.

Rsmum, is R settling in any more yet? It does get better, but it does take time.

Emma, fingers crossed, legs crossed, good luck!!

NightNurse, Good luck for tomorrow, really hope this works out for you and your dh.

Bridget, everything you said feels so familiar, especially the cloud following you round. I hadn't thought of it like that, but it describes exactly how I feel. Your ds sounds lovely


I'm reaching the point where I'd almost like to avoid other people's babies. I'm envious of their happiness and that safe cocoon you're in when you first have a little one. I look at my friends and think I was like that once. I just feel cross inside most of the time and I can't seem to shake it off. My dh is getting really fed up with it. He can't understand that I'm not dwelling on it, it's just there, lurking in the back of my mind. I don't spend all my time being unhappy. Most of the time I'm fine and I don't think anyone would guess. Generally I'm going along fine, then something happens and I find myself feeling really cross or ****** off or crying and if I work it right back it's usually been triggered by sadness at not having a second child.  I'm rabbiting on now. Sometimes I start typing and all these thoughts come pouring out that I hadn't realised I had.

Charli, you're right – it is like a therapy session.

Love to you all,
Nikki


----------



## bridget

hi.
thanks for your messages of support.
think this week is just a bad week - they happen and then they go - and the next week is good etc
one thing i have noticed with us all is that we really appreciate the child or children that we have, which has to be just about the only positive thing about all this. 
anyway bye for now.


----------



## Charli

Nikki - I know exactly what you mean about these feelings just lurking! You can plod along fine and then suddenly out of nowhere comes anger and ******-offness!   I find myself shouting at my little girl alot lately and mostly for nothing really but the poor mite tends to cop it most of the time as she's the one I spend most of my time with. I also feel that she's the main reason why we're going to have IVF to give her a brother or sister so maybe thats why she bears the brunt of my frustration. All these feelings are so complicated but I think it is important to look back and see where your anger is really coming from. Wise words but not so easy to remember when dd is throwing a tantrum in tescos!  Having a bad day today actually as poor dd is not well so been up most of the night. Just managed to get her off to sleep for a nap but already not looking forward to her waking up. Just want to sleep and be on my own, that sounds horrible doesn't it. Feel like a crap mum sometimes.  Anyway....
Hi Bridget, Hi Nightnurse
Charli x


----------



## em75

Hi girls hope you had a good weekend.

Charli - hope your dd is better, it doesn't sound horrible that you want some time, don't beat yourself up, it happens to us all! 

Bridgett - Welcome hun, i know how you feel, spotted a couple of new bumps myself at school today

Casey -   on your bfn

Nikki - get it all out  

NN -  

Hi to Jeanette, fee and  RSMUM

Just spent the afternoon running around the local play area with dd and friends like a woman pocessed  , been feeling like i've neglected her the last couple of weeks what with clinic visits and trying to concentrate on this IUI.  came home exhausted now worried that i overdid it and should be resting in the 2ww, although in reality i know it shouldn't make any difference.  Can't win can you  

take care all
Emma


----------



## casey

Hi everyone,
Just been reading through the board and it's weird to see all your own inner most feelings written down by other people, particuarly about how you feel about your kids growing up. 
my daughter H seems to have grown up overnight and she's baby mad, luckily i've managed to persuade her that Princess Alexa from Father Xmas is much better than real baby. 

RSMUM - I hope your dd has settled in school. My dd was so not bothered about whether I was there or not, it was embarassing. First day at BIG School, she told me to leave coz she knew what to do.  

Charli - I so sympathise with your sleep deprivation. i also put my dd in bed with us and even now she wakes up once or twice each night, funny thing is it always seems to be dh who hears her  . Charli, I noticed you go to Lpool Womens, so do I. 

Anyway, i'm off to bed. Back to work tomorrow. My lovely dr signed me off for 2weeks re IVF and then I caught a stupid virus/flu/bug thing. I want to work part-time but it's so hard, particuarly as paying for IVF etc. 
Tara 4 now
Casey


----------



## Charli

Casey  - I've got my first hospital appointment at Liverpool on 16th November - arghhhh  Looking forward but also feel anxious. Not looking forward to trecking back and forth from Anglesey though - bit of a drag but hey!

Bye Charli x


----------



## Cree

Hello to everyone,

Hope you don't mind me posting here. I am on my 5th round of Clomid 50mg, had a cancelled cycle last round ( over stimulated ), and am due to take my last pill tomorrow. Does anyone ever feel that they could just give up? I get so down about the whole ttc thing,I hate myself for being angry and emotional all the time. 
Cree


----------



## Charli

Hi New People!    You're welcome to moan here anytime!    Hello to everyone else and hope you have a spooky halloween   (love all these halloween smileys!)


----------



## Cherub75

Hiya there ladies,

Blimey I haven't checked in here for a while as it went a bit quite and look what happens    So please forgive me for not posting any personals, I'll have to try and read back.

Welcome to any newbies, its great to have more people in a similar situation to laugh and cry with.  Good Luck with whatever you are up to.

As for me, AF arrived today so start Clomid and Menopur tomorrow for my first (and hopfully only) IUI cycle to try and give Daniel the much wanted baby brother or sister.

Well thats the quickie from me for now.

Love to you all

Emma xx


----------



## Fee

Hi girls

Nikki - I'm like you, having really mixed feelings about babies. A friend invited me to her daughter's 2nd birthday, and it was really hard seeing all those mums with toddlers AND bumps for number 2 on the way. Really found it hards. I struggle with the toddler and new baby thing more than singletons. I guess cos I really want Laura to have a sibling so much.

Well - got my new ticker today - my last ever txt is on the way!  Keep everything crossed for me girls.

Emma - Posted to you on Rainbow - but you know how much I want this cycle to be the one that gets you that BFP xxx

Cree and Gwen - Special welcome to you both xx

Fee xxxxxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Keeping everything crossed for you, Fee..all the best.

Good luck, too Emma - how do you find the chlomid? I've heard it can be really nasty - hope you are ok with it.

It's been quite quiet on her recently, everybody busy sorting out back to school stuff I guess. 

I'm now officially on my 2ww - two embies on board - amazing experience as my mum came with me ( DH on business ) - she was soo emotional - really helped actually as I wasn't as shaky as I usually am.

Hi to anyone I've forgotten to mention.

Hope everyone has a happy ( and safe ) Bonfire night!

Rsmum ( Deb ) xxxx


----------



## jeanette

Hi everyone

Sorry that I havent been round much.....just been a little under the weather. 

Hope you are all well.

Deb (rsmum).....good luck on your 2ww. I have everything crossed for you!

Fee- good luck with your tx as well.

emma- good luck to you as well! Better sort myself out as well with tx!!!!

Heres hoping for a run of +++ on our thread!

gwen- lovely to hear from you

charli, cree, casey, em75, bridget, nikki and nightnurse- hope you are all ok.

No news from me!! But nothing new there!!

love

jeanette xxxxxx


----------



## Cherub75

Deb ~ Good luck for the 2ww, how's it going so far?  I've got everything crossed for you.  When are you due to test?  I'll be joining you soon hopfully, should be having iui on Friday  

How is everyone else?

Love

Emma xx


----------



## RSMUM

Hi Emma! I'll be testing on the 19th - it seems so far away. Good luck for Friday.

Fee- How's it going?

How's everyone else doing? Sorry to hear you've been under the weather, Jeanette.
xx


----------



## casey

Hi everyone
haven't been on for a while coz computer had a virus, hope evryone is doing ok.

RSMUM - good luck with 2ww,   

good luck and    to evryone going thru treatment.

charli, I'll be thinking of you on 16th. Most of the staff at the womens are really noce

I've just had review of tx. consultant made me feel as tho I was in the last chance saloon. I'm going for ICSI in March but apparently it's going to be the 'full monty' (his words).
anyway catch up with you later

Casey


----------



## em75

hi all

Good luck RSMUM    

Emma hope all goes well for friday and those follies are growing  

glad you are feeling better jeanette.

Not much happening with me TX wise at the moment, on 1 month break inbetween IUIs due to go again in a couple of weeks.  Just as well as i don't think i could have coped, was burgled at the weekend and my daughter has been pretty distraught by it all.  But they have caught the   so i hope this goes some way to reassuring her.

Hi to everyone else hope you are well

Emma


----------



## Prentis

Hi girls,

Hope you don't mind me popping in.  I was on this thread on my 2ww but I thought I'd let you all know the good news and that there has finally been light at the end of our tunnel.  I am now 15 wks pg and still can't quite believe it after all we've been through.  I really was thinking about giving it all up after my last miscarriage but we decided to give it one more shot.  We are now completely broke but very happy so don't give up hope girls.  George my ds, age 6, is so interested in the 'peanut' which is lovely.  I hope and pray everything goes smoothly with our next scan results etc.

I'm thinking of you all.  RSMUM good luck with the 2WW.  I remember you from a few months ago.

Love from Martina

xxx


----------



## Cherub75

Hi girls,

Martina ~    have a happy, healthy remainder.  How sweet your DS is so interested, I told Dan the other day what I was doing, it made me feel so much better, although I think he's forgotten already  

Debs ~ How's the 2WW going, not too bad I hope.  

Jeanette ~ Sorry you've not been feeling too good.  How are things now?

Emma ~ How's your DD now after the burglary?

Casey ~ I pray the "Full Monty" works for you next year then  

As for me... sadly my news is not so good. Despite lots of pains and twinges I still did not have any follies to count at my scan yesterday.  I had numerous around the 6mm mark but none any bigger, and my lining is still only 5.1.  I've to carry on with the Menopur and go for another scan on Tuesday.  I kinda got the impression that unless 1 or 2 start maturing more than the others we may have to abandon.  So feeling a little low and bewildered at the mo.  Hope for better news on Tuesday.

Love 

Emma xx


----------



## casey

Emma
don't get too down just yet . On my last IVF cycle, I didn't respond well to stimms and they were going to cancel and i was so upset, but instead dr gave me 2 more doses and within two days i had enough follies to collect 8 eggs. I hope it works out for you too. Thinking of you
casey


----------



## RSMUM

That's EXACTLY what happened to me - I was doing an IVF and they wanted to cancel me after the first scan - I pleaded with them to let me go through to EC and, even after the doc telling us the day before that there was no chance 'cos the eggs , if any, would be "cooked" as I'd been on stims for so long, we ended up with 8 eggs ( more than I'd EVER produced ) and one beautiful DD...so it ain't over 'til.....hang in there Gwen! Best of luck - thinking of you!
D xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## em75

Hi all

Hope you have had good weekends, just wanted to pop by and wish you good luck for tomorrow Emma, my daughter is getting on much better now thanks  

hello Gwen, RSMUM, casey, fee, jeanette, charli and anyone else ive missed

Emma


----------



## Charli

Hi to all  
Casey - went for my appointment yesterday at Liverpool Women's, everyone was really nice. Have to go back in two weeks though to have our tests done. Another long journey   Oh well, at least we can do some xmas shopping the rest of the day! Charli x


----------



## jeanette

Morning everyone

Its snowing here!!!  I just love the snow!! (so long as Im in doors with the heating on & drinking mug of hot chocolate!!)

Not long till christmas. Alexandra has wrote her letter to Father Christmas. Im sure that this maybe the last year that she 'believes'...not too sure though. He is so clever you know...as he already has the pressies she really wants!!! 

Hope you are all well!

love

jeanette x


----------



## RSMUM

Wow! snowing?! Amamzing! I'm so glad my little one is just getting to the stage where she is beginning to realise what Xmas is all about ( she calls his "Farmer ****-****" ) which always makes me laugh!..

Well, I got a BFN this morning - was really expecting it but it's still a blow - you just think "what a waste of all that effort and money!and what a fool I was to even hope" but then I guess, I have my DD so it HAS worked once" ah well, back to the waiting list for me..see what the new year brings..

allthe best to you all thanks for your support.

Best, positive, wishes to everyone currently going through tx...take care,

Deb xxx


----------



## night nurse

hi girls,

sorry I havn't been around for ages.  Had two iui's both negative and now going for IVF.  Just awaiting an appointment with the nurses to come through within the next 2 weeks.  Have seen the consultant and he says we can jumps straight in, he gave me the prescription there and then.

 Rsmum for yr BFN! It isn't easy even if we have been blessed with one or two children in my case.  I was gutted on my second -ve.

Casey how are you?

Hi gwen and em75 fellow iui'ers!

well i started a diet yesterday and went swimming so am very proud of myself.  Am planning on going swimming today even though I have a pain in my groin (obviosuly too much leg stretching  ).

take care the rest of you, fee, jeanette, charli, nikki and anyone i've missed.

Love NN xx


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## jeanette

Dear Deb

Sorry sorry to hear about you negative result. Im really gutted for you.

nn- good luck with the diet! Good news on your ivf.

Im still really cold and its starting snowing again !!!! 

love

jeanette x


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## Mrs Chaos

thought I'd just drop by and see how everyone is doing, as I've not been around much.
Not much to report from me really.
We've tried to take a few steps back, since we decided enough was enough, and it's been a bit hard to get our heads around it, but we're still smiling and laughing together. 
Still a long way from ever accepting no more children, especially not being able to have had my hubby's child...but life goes on as they say.
I hope you're all well.
Love to all
Gaynor
XX


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## night nurse

Afternoon girls,

Gaynor - I know what you mean about trying to accept you will never have your hubby's child, I am trying to imagine it myself in preparation for if IVF doesn't work, although am hoping 3rd time lucky for me!

Jeanette its still freezing but no more snow here yet.

Not much news from me, my FSh came back at 3 but it was a CD7 one to check for early menopause.  Am presuming maybe a bit prematurely that this is good and if I was about to embark on early menopause it would be a lot higher!

Tomorrow me and Dh off to get our HIV and Hepatits screen in preparation for the ivf cycle.  I am dreading it!

Hope everyones having a good weekend, I've been on nights all weekend but that ends tonight yippee  

Love NN xx


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## casey

Hi girls, just popped in to say hello.
Hi Emma hows the clomid going. Hope you're not like me and having horrendous mood swings. 
Debs - sorry to hear about your BFN it's so hard, but we're all thinking of you 
NN - when do you have follow up appt, FSH at 3 sounds good to me, 
Gaynor - that little word 'acceptance' - easy to say but hard to live with. 
Charli - good luck on appt next week.  
Hi to jeanette, gwen, Lee and anyone else i've forgot to mention.  
By the way I'm fine - just plodding along but I've got to say I HATE WINTER!  
Bye for now CaseyX


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## jeanette

Morning girls

Its very early for me!! cant sleep but I will tell you about that later!!

How are you all?

Angel- lovely to hear from you. Missed you hun!

Gwen- I have arthritis as well so I understand mate!

NN- hope your appointment went well.

Casey- I use to cry mid cycle when I was on clomid! I would cry for no reason!!

Deb- thinking of you ((()))

Hi to everyone else...its gone very quiet on here, where are you all!! I spent yesturday wrapping up xmas pressies!!

Well I have news. We were told that for me to get pregnant I would need IVF. Anyhow to cut this short I have found recently that I am pregnant (natural). This is such a miracle and I still cant believe it after what the drs said. Its early days and im getting intermittant spotting and abdo pain so Im just praying everything will be ok.

Catch up with you all later

love

jeanette x


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## Mrs Chaos

Jeanette   I am speechless for you guys! You must be in a daze eh hun, bloody fantastic news!
You take good care of yourself and that li'l passenger, here's to a very happy, healthy 9 months  
Lots of love and   to you all
Catchya soon
Gayn 
XXXXXXXX


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## RSMUM

GREAT news!!!! Keeping everything crossed that you have a happy, healthy, worry-free (ha!) rest of your pregnancy!Hope the spotting and pain slow down soon...Soooo pleased for you..you must be so excited/scared/stunned all at once!

Take care,

Deb x


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## em75

Jeanette

Congratulations i am really pleased for you.  Sending lots of   vibes to you.

Emma


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## casey

Jeanette,
congratulations on your wonderful news. Lots of     to you and remember to take good acer of yourself
CaseyX


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## night nurse

WOW

Congratulations Jeanette

It gives us all hope 

Love NNxx


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## Cherub75

Oh Jeanette,

Fanbloomintastic

I am so so thrilled for you, and wow, any chance of sending some of that miracle dust my way.

Have a happy healthy pregnancy hun.

Love

Emma xx


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## jeanette

Hi girls

Thankyou for all your messages.....it made me cry again!! 

Still happily stunned! Hopefully my EDD will be 3rd June!!

How are you all today?? Been out and done abit more chrimbo shopping! only two bags today in one shop so thats ok!!

lov

jeanette x


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## charley

Hello everyone, would you mind if I joined in too. Im 34 dh 25, i have 3 children from a previous marriage, but dh has none. Just finished initial tests which i was diagnosed with pcos. I received another appointment for January so not too long to wait, then we go from there. Anyway take care everyone, speak again soon, love Charley xx


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## maxbabe

Sorry for butting in here.....but just wanted to say

CONGRATULATIONS TO JEANETTE   

Fabulous news mate!!!!

Relax and enjoy and see you in the second tri board!!!!!!

maxbabe
xxxx


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## night nurse

evening girls,

Just a quickie to wish jeanette   on her    It stories like this that give us all hope!  Hope you have a happy healthy eight months.

Welcome charley!

Just realised I've already congratulated you jeanette so i'm just repeating myself  

We have had our HIv results back which are all ok and our first appt for IVF and sa is Jan12th!  Was hoping it would be sooner so could d/r this month but hey ho it won't be long.

Bye for now and hello to everyone else

NN xx


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## jeanette

Morning girls!

Im sooooo cold!! 

Cant believe that 3 weeks today as its christmas day!!  How excites am I !! Gonna spend some time today wrapping up pressies whilst watching an xmas film!! Miracle on 34th Street is on tomorrow...its a great film for all those father christmas non believers!!!!!

Nearly done all the shopping...done my food list for xmas day!!  Did any one hear on the news about today at noon xmas shopping becomes a chore not a pleasure?? Apparently a mathematician worked it out (how...I dont know!!).

Hope you are all well. Thankyou again for all your messages xx

love

jeanettexx


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## Fee

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

       

CONGRATULATIONS JEANETTE AND RICHARD
Just heard your news when Maxbabe IM'd me. SO THRILLED for you hun.

Can't believe you haven't got Tony doing a banner on the front of the site 

Heaps of love -

Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Charli

Haven't posted on this bit for a while! Congratulations Jeanette!!!  Great excuse to put your feet up this Christmas! Hope all goes well. xcharli


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## Fee

Hi all

I haven't posted on here properly for a while - live sometimes just chugs along really, and then you realise ages have gone by!

Roz - see you are due to test very soon. Hope it is good news for you hun.

Gayn - how are you.

Charli - what's your news?  Did you start txt as planned in November?

We're going on OK. I'm busy with costumes for Nativities at school and church (why can they never be the same thing in both!!) and pre christmas shopping and planning like everyone else! 
We're due to do a txt (FET) at the end of January, so I'm hoping that some of Jeanette and Maxbabe's baby dust will rub off on me LOL!

Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## maxbabe

For Fee (and everyone else wishing your dreams come true this x-mas  )


            


Have to say telling Billie she is going to be a big sister was a highlight for me this year....not telling her straight away was really hard!!!!

love to all
maxbabe
xxxx


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## Fee

awwww thanks Maxbabe


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## Pilchardcat

New home this way ladies...........

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19422.new#new


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