# me



## Jess2460 (Oct 18, 2009)

I am new to online anything really- I am at the beginning of fertility problems and Iam unable to talk to anyone- so I hope that here I won't feel as alone as I do right now.


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Jess and welcome to Fertility Friends 

 If you'd like to tell me a little about your infertility problems then i can point you in the direction of some boards which will be relevant to you, you'll get so much support if you start joining in and have a chatter with some of the other members. Its a very large site and might seem a bit daunting especially if youre new to the online thing 

Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here's a few links to get you started....

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Investigations & Immunology ~ *CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri x


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## Mrs.CC (Sep 11, 2008)

Hey Jess,

I just wanted to say hello!!
I'm not great at anything online....but this site is great for info and support.

I'm only just starting my treatment but happy to talk if you feel like it....I know how hard all this can be.
For me I've got a lot of friends and family that are having babies at the moment and I'm finding that really hard.

message me back or pm me if you'd prefer.

Good luck.
Claire.x


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## Follie (May 9, 2008)

Hi Jess

Didn't want to read and run, fertility friends has been fantastic....we did not share any of our fertility problems with friends or family and whilst I don't often post on here I read daily - that alone has brought me great comfort and at least made me feel that I'm not alone.
It's a great way to improve your IT skills as well  

Good Luck x


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## Dee.Dee.32 (Dec 6, 2008)

Jess   just wanted to welcome you to the site. I'm sure you'll find the support and information on here second to none.  

DeeDee x


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## joeyrella (May 13, 2009)

hello and welcome


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## moocat (Aug 12, 2008)

Hello Jess and welcome to FF!!!   
Sorry to hear you are just starting on the fertility rollercoaster. Your find lots of help and support here. Feel free to ask lots of questions. Wishing you lots of luck with your journey xx


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## Guest (Oct 19, 2009)

Hi Jess welcome to FF 

You'll find lots of people to talk to on here, good luck with your journey, hope it won't be too long   

She   xxx


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## Jess2460 (Oct 18, 2009)

hello everyone thank you for saying hi back- I haven't told anyone about any of this because I don't think they would know what to say- its very comforting that you are all out there feeling the same as me- claire I have friends having babies around me too and I spend time with them smiling and lauughing but all I want to do is get from there and try not to feel sorry for myself- how do you cope?


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## tbarthy (Oct 19, 2009)

Hi Jess

I too am new to FF.

I was very angry for a long time, especially when at my clinic the scans are carried out in the Maternity Ultrasound Suite and you'd be there having your follicles counted and your endometrium measured and see all these very pregnant ladies (some in school uniform) waiting for their scans.  Then you'd go out of the front door and there they'd be, smoking their heads off with not a care in the world for what it's doing to their poor babies!!!

We have been on the infertility roller coaster, receiving treatment for almost 7 years now and over time I've come to realise that being upset, angry and resentful does not help me get pregnant or change the situation in anyway so I have accepted that it's the way of the world and no matter how upset I get it is not going to change.

I'm sure that one day, with time, you will feel better, I'm sorry I know it's a cliche but it is true!

   
tbarthy


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## Jess2460 (Oct 18, 2009)

I'm ok until I talk with my husband trying to tell him how I feel he simply says he just wants to be a dad I then feel guilty. I don't feel angry just dissapointed in myself for not being able to get pregnant. You have been really strong hopefully i will get stronger as time goes on thankyou for your comment.


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## tbarthy (Oct 19, 2009)

Hi Jess

Believe me, there are times when I've been a total and complete mess and sometimes I just pretend to myself that I'm strong.  I've also had plenty of counselling sessions, which I found really helpful, especially after my miscarriages, and I think that has helped me along the way to see things differently.  Please know that in the beginning I felt exactly as you do and it is perfectly normal to do so.  

Have you told your DH that you are feeling guilty?  Have you tried your unit's counsellor?  My DH doesn't like to talk about what's going on very much and I found that having Trisha to talk to really helped.  Of course, I tried talking to my Mum and sisters, but they all got pregnant so easily and so have no idea what it's like to want so badly what they achieved so easily.  And sometimes my little sister can be a bit insensitive, so that's why the counselling worked for me.

Feel free to PM me should you need to.

    
    

tbarty


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## shahina (Aug 27, 2009)

Hi Jess  

Welcome to FF. i'm fairly new too. I've been here for a couple of months now and it is so comforting to talk to people who are going through infertility.

I know how you feel about feeling guilty etc, it was the same with my husband. All tests suggests he is all ok, which is good news, but unfortunatly i have a few issues going on and all he wants is a baby, part of us.

Hope you dont mind me asking, but how long have you been trying to concieve?
Have you had any tests done yet?

If you are at the early stages of this maze that is infertility, i came across an e-book that explains things in simple terms. Hopefully it can equip you with questions you may want to ask your doctor etc. It only costs £7 and i hope you find it useful as i did.

Its called 'Understanding fertility and infertility' by Dr Marilyn Glenville. Its reader friendly, cutting out all the medical terminology.
you have access to the e-book straight away. The website is :

http://www.naturalhealthpractice.com/Ebooks_C337.cfm

All the best
Shahina 

***This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites***


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## Jess2460 (Oct 18, 2009)

I'm at the very beginning they don't know whats wrong, the consultant wasn't very helpful and I felt even more confused at the end of my session I haven't got a counsellor it hasn't been offered I think if you come across as non-emotional and calm they seem to think your alright. I have had enough blood taken out of me for a life time! Just getting use to it not happening how I had always thought it would.


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## shahina (Aug 27, 2009)

Hi Jess,

So i presume all your blood tests have come out all ok? This can only be a positive thing. Perhaps your all ok, what i mean is, have they done your partners sperm analysis? Have you had a HSG to see if you have any tubal factors? Are you ovulating? Have they ruled out PCOS?(Sorry to ask so many questions, but there is not much infomation to go on and i'm sure there are people on here that will like to help you further).

Are you being seen by the NHS or Private? I'm being seen on the NHS, and i was in tears at my first visit, but i dont think they offer 
any counselling, unless a woman has gone through a failed IVF. That was the case with my friend.

If you are being seen by the NHS, I heard that they do not do the AMH hormone blood test. I am thinking of getting this checked privately as it measures a womans ovarian reserves.

When your ready, it might be worthwhile putting a small profile detailing a little more about yourself, eg age, how long you have been TTC etc.

Anyway, lots of  .
Take Care
Shahina


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## tbarthy (Oct 19, 2009)

Hi Jess

Re the counselling.  I am being treated in a NHS clinic and it is their standard practice when you have your very first consultation for the counsellor to introduce herself to you prior to your appointment with the doctor.  I'll be honest, I didn't use the service until I had my first miscarriage.  I used her again when I had my 2nd miscarriage and then again before I started my cycle last year and as I said before, found it helpful.

Perhaps you can contact your clinic and found out what their standard practice is.

     

tbarthy


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