# Over 40 and TTC - a newbie to it all!



## Guest (Feb 14, 2006)

Hi folks,

Well, I have never tried one of these chat things before and have checked you all out.  Looks nice and friendly and just what I need.

I am 42 (43 in April - gulp!  ).  My DH are fairly new to marriage (2.5 years) after a whirlwind romance of 10 months and have been trying since then.  Neither of us have been married before nor had any kids and we dearly dearly want to complete our family.  It wasn't a considered choice of never trying until now - just took a long time to find my soul mate.

Was diagnosed with Ednometriosis 7 years ago and was advised to try for a baby straight away - all very well if you were in a relationship!!!  We made apt with GP as soon as we set the wedding date because I was concerned about my age and the endo but all he said was "it takes time and give it 2 years".  Recently saw a new Doc in the surgery and he referred us immediately for fertility investigations on NHS.  This was rushed through surprisingly enough!

This has been quite traumatic in itself with the tests and the waiting but it seems everything is OK with DH and my hormone levels are nearly normal.  The only thing in the way was a polyp and a fibroid which I had removed last Thursday.  Unfortunately, they discovered I was very very anemic too and am on high iron tablets for the next 3 months.

Even though I'm ovulating perfectly, and everything else seems to be A-OK now I have had the offensive body parts removed,  we have been advised to go for IVF because of my age to increase the chances.  It would be nice to TTC naturally but we have decided to go the IVF route.  So angry at the Doc  .

Have just made an appointment to start the IVF process privately for next Thursday but really am quite in the dark about everything at the moment.  I don't want to discuss things with family or friends (should I?) so this site seemed perfect.

Sorry about the ramblings.

Corndolly


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## zora (Sep 30, 2005)

Corndolly just to say we have a lot in common. I'm 41 married 3 years like you toook me  a while to find my soul partner before trying for a family. I alos had a polyp which I had removed. I also have fibroids which are still there but not intra- mural. I haven't told any friends or family and have been through 2 IVFs just got a negative form my second. To be honest it would be better if I had close friends to confide in. FF has been a life support to me. Like you I went headlon ginto IVF because of my age but phsically it was a lot easier than I expected. Emotionally it was hard though getting negatives and poor results along the way. WIsh you all the best. Which hospital are you at ?


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## Joan (Oct 22, 2005)

Welcome Corndolly, and good luck with everything. There are so many of us finally finding the 'right man' what seems to be too late. But we are all positive here and all keep going and it's great that we can all support each other, and provide that listening ear that might not be available elsewhere.

Go for it and try not to get angry it will only add unneccessary stress to your mind and body and you will need to relax and be positive.

You can still keep trying naturally when you're not doing a cycle. lots of people seem to conceive naturally after they have been trying with IVF, so you  never know. anyway join in our group hug and get those positive thoughts going, and try and get hold of Zita West's book to read up on all the healthy stuff and acupuncture etc.

love from joan x


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## zora (Sep 30, 2005)

Corndolly forgot to say I had anaemia as well . The 3 months of  high dose iron cured it. like you I only found out when looking into fertility. I aslo had B12 deficiency


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2006)

Wow, Zora - you must be my mirror.  My DH just over 5 years younger!!!!!

Do you know what, you guys, I feel better already. It really is a comfort chatting to others in the same situation.

Thank to you and Joan for support - I will be a regular here.

By the way, will be getting treatment at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital (privately of course   ).


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Corndolly

Just wanted to say hello!  Re telling people, I think it depends on your circumstances and your specific friends/family.  I have told a couple of friends and my sister about previous cycles but, to be honest, I felt that none of them really understood as they haven't been through IF and IVF. It can also be difficult telling people that it hasn't worked if you get a BFN - again, I don't think anyone realises how hard it can hit you and they expect you to bounce back after a day or two (when in my case it has taken two-three months each time to start getting back to normal).  Therefore, although some people on this site say that they have had tremendous support from friends and family, I personally have decided not to tell anyone about our next cycle. This site makes a huge difference, however, as the people on it do understand and have really helped me when I was having a bad time.

Good luck with your appointment next week.  It does seem daunting when you are starting out but I am sure you will get on OK. Getting rid of the polyp and fibroid is probably worse physically than anything the IVF process will throw at you! 

Best wishes

Ellie


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## dj (Jan 18, 2006)

hi corndolly just noticed you are having trearment at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital.As my DH and i live closer there than the clinic we are using at the mo do you recommend it ? We are 40/42 and just starting out on treatment. Our hosp and cons are very good but a lot of travelling  is involved.


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## Guest (Feb 14, 2006)

I have very mixed feelings about telling friends/family.  I too don't think anyone who has not gone through IF or IVF will understand quite so much.  A good friend of mine will understand but it is the 'feeling sorry for you' if things don't go to plan I will hate.

One of my big problems is what do I say at work? Obviously I will need to take some time off work (holidays) but I have not control over my work diary and have training (I'm an IT trainer) booked in sometimes 8 weeks solid in advance. This makes things awkward for those short notice appointments.  I have already taken enough time for IF investigations.  I feel I should let the immediate team know so they know why I have to take last minute annual leave time which will also means re-arranging lots of training appointments and causing a lot of inconvenience.  This will help in one way but then I am a very private person and don't have 'close' colleagues at work I would normally tell less private things too.  Oh what a dilema.  My manager is very understanding but she is about to leave next week on maternity leave - typical.

I would welcome anyones experiences with handling the 'work' situation.

DJ - Hi - I used to live in Herefore - worked in Ross for 10 years.  I have found all my encounters at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital have been excellent.  This includes treating my mum when she had cancer a few years ago and came through it.  My dad had was treated twice in the last 12 months for 2 separate problems.  And of course my recent encounter having the hysteroscopy.  I have always found the staff kind, helpful, understanding and professional.  The staff in the fertility clinic are especially sensitive and helpful.  As i haven't yet undergone any of the IVF treatment yet I couldn't advise you but if the past is anything to go by I have no concerns.

I have already met the Consultant under the NHS fertility investigations and he will be the same Consultant that will take charge of the private IVF.  All treatment is undertaken at the RSH even though it will be private.

The only niggle I have is that the advice from the Consultant and one of his doctors was to immediately go for egg donation which my DH have decided against.  As I am ovulating normally and hormone levels have been given as nearly normal, I thought that was strange.  But then, I suppose they want to give a better success probability.

Anyway, gotta get my beauty sleep now   thank you all for the warm welcome.  Trying to keep off the keyboard will be the next hurdle.


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## peaches41 (Mar 4, 2006)

Hi corndolly,

they are suggesting an ED as even though you are ovulating your eggs are old & it's harder to conceive naturally, [though some months you will release a better quality egg & may of course get pregnant on that occasion!]

IVF would be sensible at nearly 43. What are your day 3 FSH /LH & E2? See, if they are good now you would be a very good candidate, but if you leave & your levels rise, then clinics are not as happy to treat you.

Wishing you all the best
Debbie


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## cleopatra (Jan 1, 2006)

Hi Debbie,

I'm in my 2WW of 5th IVF cycle and feel really silly that I have no idea what my FSH and  levels are. The doctors have done plenty of blood tests but never seem to have thought it was important to share results with me. I am amazed at how much I find out from this site and friends' experiences.  I will of course ask what my levels of hormones are, but what will the levels mean ? Do you have a guide ? I feel the doctors are trying to protect me from the bad news, so prefer to hear fromsomeone like you. Up until now they have been saying I should keep going because I produce "nice" embryos, but now my productivity has gone down to 1 embryo per cycle !! So much for being legally allowed to put 3 back !
Well only 4 days to go till my p test, but I have very low expectations, hence why thinking ahead. 

Take care,

Cleopatra.


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## ♥Meerkat♥ (Nov 14, 2005)

Hi Cleopatra

Good luck on the 2ww and your test later this week 

FSH stimulates the growth and development of follicles.  Test should be taken CD 1-3 and ideally your level should be below 10.  

E2 helps endometrium to thicken and helps to balance FSH levels.  Test also on CD 1-3 and range should be between 25 - 75 

LH - surge of LH midway through your cycle stimulates ovulation.  Also test on CD 1-3 and level should be less than 7

Hopes this helps as a guideline - your doctor should be able to tell you your levels  

Take care



Meerkat x


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## peaches41 (Mar 4, 2006)

Hi Cleo!

with IVF they prefer FSH to be below 10. As you creep up to 13 it gets harder to stimulate (but not imposs). Ideally FSH = 6-7 day 3. LH = below 7, Oestradial (E2) = between 25-75 day 3.

As you are producing eggs & are responding to your treatment, I wonder if a little rest from IVF might work? Btw, you can't take these when undergoing tx they are just a nice way to put something back into your body.

If you do that there are some ayurvedic measures to balence your body when TTC at home.

1) Take standardised Agnus Castus @ 1,000mg p/d
2) Take Shatavari tabs x 2 p/d
3) Take Mexican Wild Yam 1 p/d
4) After breakfast 1tsp Kolonji oil x 1 tsp of manuka honey x 8 strands of saffron.

An ovarian reserve test (ORT) which scans the size of ovaries and measures day 4-6 inhibin is useful (Midlands Fertility Services offer this) if you are trying to gauge your own egg reserve before going down the DE route.

Good luck with your test!

Love Debbie

me: 42, dp 41, DS & DD age 15 (nat conceived twins)
ttc since Dec 05 (dp's sperm has low motility and 85% abnormal forms), using ayurvedic treatment before IUI, then intend to try natural IVF.


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## peaches41 (Mar 4, 2006)

Sorry Cleo,
missed a bit out!
Mexican Yam from day 14 of cycle, not all thru month
Love, Debbie


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## cleopatra (Jan 1, 2006)

Dear Debbie and Meerkat,

thanks very much for getting back to me. I will now know what to ask when I next see the doctor to decide what to do next (assuming I am not pregnant on Saturday of course!).

Take care and good luck to you both

Cleopatra


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## jules_b (Oct 14, 2005)

Hi everyone.

1st time in this forum tonight, and just reading some of the posts, I think I will get lots of support .. 

Ive gone through 2 IVF cycle... 1st one failed at 2WW... BFN on preg test 

2nd cycle ended last week, got 7 eggs and 2 fertilised, but no growth. My clinic investigating as so unusual to see this. Having chromosone blood test done to see if DP & Mine compataible...

Im so so miserable... all I wanna be is a mummy


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Hi Jules

Really sorry to hear about your BFNs.      You'll find lots of people here who understand how you feel.  Hang on in there.

Ellie


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