# 18 mth old with nightmares



## madison (May 6, 2005)

Hi,

I have posted this in the sleep section but would appreciate a medical opinion if thats OK.

  I have an extremely sensitive 18mth old & now for the last 2 mths he has started having
nightmares, They started after a child threw a large stone at him ( he hates other children as it is )
They were every night until about 4 nights ago & he had 2 full nights sleep.

Yesterday we went to the beach & he was happily running around until he saw some of those
things that are like kites that surfers have to pull them along in the water, he saw them &
ran over to daddy & clung on for dear life & stayed that way until we left the beach & got onto the path,
the whole time he was quietly sobbing & having a quick glance every now & again to see if they were
still there, as soon as we got onto the path & he could no longer see them he was fine, got down
& started running around laughing playing with the dogs.

He went to bed no problem at 8 & then from 11 till 3 he just kept screaming in his sleep, I could
sooth him & eventually he would stop & then as soon as I stopped touching him, he would start
again, I woke him up at one point & he looked at me as if he didn't recognise me & took ages to
register it was me.. that was horrible.

I cant even shout down to James in the kitchen when Miles is anywhere in hearing as that also
makes him cry.

ALSO

I feel he is showing aspergers symptoms also I have mentioned it to my doctor & he said it has
such a huge range that most ' normal' people have it & go through life without even knowing.
( he hates change, other people, has obsessions, has almost stopped saying words ( except mumum
dada, ninner, bear & gone ) will only go to me, my husband or my sister to be held, none of his
siblings, he will scream if they pick him up. ) 

Do you think the nightmares are to do with that ?? he does have really happy days but some
times looks so scared & wary & like the world is on his shoulders. Sometimes when I pick him
up he has to look at my face to check its me & looks so scared when he is doing that. If I go
to my sisters house when the 20 mth old she looks after is there, Miles now just avoids her rather
than crys but even before these nightmares he would always have very unsettled nights quitely
sobbing in his sleep after we had spent the day there.

  Thank you

          Katy. xxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hi Katy

How are things going?

Im thinking that it maybe best to get your HV involved so that she can see you son and assess him.

Im really sorry that I cant be of much more help, but I would need to see your son myself.

Let me know how things go.

Jeanettex


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## madison (May 6, 2005)

Hi,

  Thanks for answering, I was hoping you would have some miracle answer    No offence
  but our health visitors here are useless.. we had 3 good ones, they had a big fall out & they
  all left & now we just have a woman who is sharing herself between our town & another one,
  They are basically lending her to us & so far I have only seen her once to weigh Miles when
  he was 1 year & 2 mths & she told me he was underweight & I should be worried, as I was 
  not & said there was nothing wrong with his weight, she wrote a comment in my book implying
  I didn't care & was not interested in any advice she was willing to give me. ( this was because 
  I KNEW THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH HIS WEIGHT)

  Once I got home I read the weight sheet & she had put he was 2 years & 2 mths.. you can tell by
  looking at him he was only a baby & I am sorry but I  feel that if she couldn't even get that
  right there is no way that I would trust her judgment on Miles' mental health  

  Thanks again, I will just muddle along & keep an eye on him, if things get worse I will ask my
  doc I I can get Miles referred.. If I cant do that without going thru the health visitor first I 
  will do it privately.

Love Katy. xxxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hi Katy

Just picked this up..bit tired so I will reply tomorrow hun!

jxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hiya Katy

Lets tackle the night times first & fear first:

Re the nighttime & being scared of everything- this is normal behavior and many toddlers go through this stage. This is because at around the ages of 2-3 years of age they develop what is called ''night-time anxiety''. At this age, they are also able to understand what fear is and will start to imagine scary things.

Things to try

- try and find out what it is thats upsetting him ? is it the darkness ? is it noises?

- reassure him there's nothing under his bed. Search his room with him before he goes to bed. Make a game and song out of it.

- having a night light on can help some toddlers

- find some story books that talk about the dark, bed time, nighttime etc. Make up happy stories about night time

- one night, sit in his room and have a good look round his room. Also, lie on his bed and look around. Is there are any shadows being created that can scare her or any noises such as creaky windows etc.

- make sure wardrobe doors, drawers etc are all closed

- maybe give him a magic wand that he can use to make the scary things disappear

- let him know exactly where you are

- see if he will tell you if anyone has mentioned about monsters. Children can scare each other!! I was in Woolworths yesterday and my 3 yr old ran off..I found her and the Sales Assistant said to her ''you mustn't run off or the bogey man will get you''

- has he watched monsters inc??

- don't use his room as a time out room if he has been naughty

- the kites may have looked like a scary thing to him. Maybe see if you can get a book about the beach and bring up about what you can see at the beach. Help him to draw a kite. Maybe even get a small one for use in the garden. Next time you go to the beach, see if one of the surfers will let your ds stand on one etc.

Re his behavior ? aspersgers symptoms- a lot of children can show many signs of aspergers within the ranges of normal child behavior. Keep a watch on him. Maybe start a diary to see if you can see any links. If you are concerned go back to your GP. Your HV will be doing his 2 yr developmental check, so bring it up then as well.

Let me know if this has been any use. Stay in touch.

Jeanettex


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## madison (May 6, 2005)

Jeanette,

Thats all brilliant thank you, I will try them out. He is still in our room as daddy wants him to stay
  with us until he is not waking in the night anymore so we can get to him straight away  

  Thank you again for such as long reply,

    Love Katy. xxxx


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