# First post - introduction and background 48, FET, DE - looking for support



## sarahprj (Mar 28, 2013)

Hi All,

I’ve been a member for some time and frequently read posts/replies. So much invaluable information. Thought I should now introduce myself and hoping to give/receive support although I haven’t come across anyone with my history. 

So my story so far...I am currently 48 and about to embark on a FET from a previous cycle in 2015. 

I’ve had 2 AMH tests (plus all-sorts of other tests) back in 2012 with a poor result of <0.57. My only option was DE. It’s surprising how easily I adapted to DE when OE not an option, I’ve read how many other ladies have really struggled with letting go of OE and all the heartache of failed cycles. 

We were blessed to get our son in 2016 from 3rd DE cycle, a perfect pregnancy and son. Our world came crashing down in his first year with an Infant Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia diagnosis, after the most horrific 2 years of treatment we lost him to this cruel disease. Forever broken 💔

I simply cannot cope without a child, I became a first time Mummy at 45 and can whole heartedly say this is what I’m good at and love. I will miss my gorgeous boy forever. 

We have decided on FET as we have 2 Frosties, 4BB/c and 3BB. Previous embryo was 5AA. I just can’t leave them knowing they are siblings to our son. I’ve not got anyone to really talk to, unless you have fertility problems you really don’t get it. Wanting a family is all consuming, you know this. 

My age is against me but I’m about to start prep (scratch this week) for FET transfer at the end of August. I’m post menopause so starting meds to kickstart my body. 

I suppose I’m just looking for some words of wisdom that I can do this, pinning everything on it being a success. 

Hope you are all having a good day and moving nearer to your dream babies.


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## StrawberrySundae (Jan 30, 2017)

Hi Sarahprj,

I’m so sorry to read your experience     I’ve also found it difficult finding people who get it. And I’ve been very glad of the possibility of a donor pregnancy! Don’t give up! I’m sure you’ll get other replies on here and encouragement from other ladies over 40 or over 50 who have used DE to achieve their little miracles 💗 which you so deserve. I just wanted to say I really hope all goes well and to keep at it, it sounds like you’ll be a brilliant mummy again   xx


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## sarahprj (Mar 28, 2013)

Thank you StrawberrySundae, feel sure I will get good advice and support. 
It’s lovely to see your long list of scans, pregnancy is such a magical time - very worrying but magical. 

Think I will join some of the discussions, stop me googling. We all know that we shouldn’t but it’s just too easy, much better to get advice on here from others in the same position.


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## kittykat76 (Jan 17, 2016)

Im so sorry for what happened to your son, how utterly heartbreaking and every parents worst nightmare,a friend of mine faces loosing her daughter to neuroblastoma after nearly 2 years of unsuccessful treatment, I don't know how anyone finds the strength to get through this. You must be a very strong lady. I have a couple of friends who have had babies in their late 40s, I don't think its a big deal these days having a baby in your 40s- I was nearly 42 when had my son. Wishing you so much luck and I hope you get the chance to have another child


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## deblovescats (Jun 23, 2012)

Sarah - my heart breaks for you, I am so sorry to hear your story. You must be a very strong lady, and a wonderful mummy! I know how awful it is when your much longed for child is very ill, but thankfully my daughter didn't have such a serious illness. She was very ill and in hospital when aged about 12 months, with pneumonia. I was lucky and my daughter recovered, so I can't imagine how dreadful it has been for you. 
You so deserve to be a mummy, and it is obvious how much you loved your son.
To give you some hope for having a baby. I also came quickly to accept DE as my way forward to having a baby. I had double donation and my gorgeous son was born when I was 47. I had 3 frozen embryos so had FET in 2016, and my beautiful daughter was born when I was 49. I am so very lucky. I am contemplating going for another cycle and I am no 52, as I have two embryos left. With DE, your chances of pregnancy are much higher than with OE, and your chances with DE are just as high as with younger mums, unless you have particular problems.


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## sarahprj (Mar 28, 2013)

Kittykat76, thank you for your post. Just wanted to wish your friend’s daughter all the best. 
Having spent about a year living in the children’s hospital I have seen a lot, never give up hope. Children are remarkeable and the Doctors equally so. My sons Leukaemia was very rare and incurable. It’s so very hard. There are times in life when you think you can’t take anymore...you can. Somehow you just do it. 

The majority of women just fall pregnant and have babies, we are not so lucky but we fight for it and go through mental torture to make it happen. Makes us stronger and really good mummies. 

Deblovescats, thank you. So very pleased your daughter recovered, it’s so scary when they are ill. All children are precious but can’t help thinking ivf babies more so given the lengths we go to to bring them safely into the world. I feel all energised reading your story and wish you success if you decide to go again. 

AFM, scratch booked for Thursday. I’ve read mixed results but had it on my 3rd attempt which worked, so am wanting to do the same again.  Having 1 embryo transferred again on advice of the clinic.


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## Clarabelle71 (Jan 14, 2016)

sarahprj I just want to wish you luck. It’s heartbreaking to read your story. You deserve some kind of happiness after going through such a terrible loss. 

I had my DE cycle at 46 and worked first time after 3 embryos were transferred in Cyprus. I still had my period and on bcp so not sure the process if your no longer getting your period. Is there anyway the embryos left over could also get this disease? Just don’t want that to be the case. My father has a form of leukemia but not life threatening and his brother also has it. its More common in males.

Wishing you the best of luck with treatment and don’t think your age will affect things. You were able to carry a baby before so chances are high for you to get pregnant again. X


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## sarahprj (Mar 28, 2013)

Hi Clarabelle71, thank you for your kind words and hope, it’s great to see other successes, a beautiful baby girl, so pleased for you both. Enjoy every moment.

Sorry to hear your Family is also touched by Leukaemia and wish your father and uncle all the best. My son had a rare infant (not childhood) Leukaemia that is not genetic, we discussed it at length with his haemotology professor. The odds of getting it was about a million to 1, it’s the same for any pregnancy. We were so very lucky to get our miracle son and then more unlucky to get this diagnosis. The fertility clinic have also re-looked at the donor family history to be double sure, nothing of any concern. Thank you for messaging with this thought, this is 1 reason this group is so valuable. Over the last 2+ years I have trawled the internet far and wide and cannot find a reason, just a rare chance event with a single faulty cell. Hard to accept. 

I had a trouble free pregnancy so hoping for the same again, just carried on as normal pretty much. Waiting on AF currently so a tense few weeks ahead. I really need this to work, might help a little to mend my shattered heart.


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## Clarabelle71 (Jan 14, 2016)

sarahprj Iam so glad it’s been checked and it’s not genetic. I was worried you could have the same thing happen. 
My father is fine as it’s slow to progress however did end up with lymphoma and had chemo and went into remission for the lymphoma though there is no cure for the leukemia. My mother also has a very rare cancer however thankfully her tumor has shrunk. I read it can be genetic. I suffered a mmc when my mother got her diagnosis. Having a baby has helped to not think of painful moments so often. 

I really hope it works for you straight away and the pain can become less when you have another baby. X


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