# Single women using doulas



## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

Hello ladies

Have any of you - or do you know any single women who have - used doulas?  I know Felix is going to use one and I am quite keen as my 'birth partner' - or the friend who's promised to turn up! - hasn't had one herself.

Also, I'm planning/hoping to have a C-Section so not sure what doulas think or do under those circumstances but I'm keen to use one who will do post natal support including a sleepover or two possibly.

I've just scanned those on Doulas Uk in East Sussex and there are lots of trainees.  Has anyone any experience of using a trainee?  The costs are lower of course which is an advantage.

Any advice would be appreciated.

RLxx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

RL maybe also ask Gina (snagglepat) on the LGBT thread as she is a doula and a teacher natal hypno birthing etc as she might be able to advise as well
L x


----------



## Grace10704 (Aug 7, 2008)

Hi Richmond Lass
Yes I used a doula & she was absolutely fab!  I didn't want my mum at the birth & my sister was going to be in Australia (not that I would have wanted her there either!) and I didn't feel comfortable with any friends.  I found a wonderful doula - I think she was a fully fledged one but it was more about feeling comfortable with her rather than whether she was in training or whatever.  My doula had a contract that included the "what if I have a cesarean option & she was just going to be there to hold my hand etc.  They provide some aftercare visits as part of the package but you can also employ them specifically for the post birth services.  My doula for example told me of a family she recently worked with who needed help getting their 6 month old to sleep.  There are different rates for this bit but if that's what you wanted more than the actual birth bit (if you are having a cesarean you might not want or need her physically there then) it is possible to negotiate it.
My major advice would be to look at the website where there are suggested questions to ask a prospective doula and to "interview" them.  You need to feel comfortable with them & they fully expect for some enquiries to come to nothing simply because you don't gel together.  So don't feel you have to take the first one you meet!  
I can't recommend having a doula enough as a single woman cos then you don't have to prevail on willing friends with whom you might feel uncomfortable later when you have lost all your dignity!  The beauty of a doula includes the fact that after the contract is over you don't have to ever see them again!  So if you have sworn, cried, pooed yourself in labour it really doesn't matter!
Do feel free to PM me any more detailed questions if you want to and best wishes in picking the best doula ever (actually I think mine is the best so you'll have to move to Bristol to get her!!!)


----------



## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello RL

I found a lovely Doula on the website you mentioned. I 'e' mailed quite a few and they were all really booked up so better get contacting some incase its the same round your way  . I found one I really liked her and booked her for the birth. As it turned out the trainees were all booked too - but I would happily have used one as it seems they are very well supervised .

My local hospital has an awful reputation for horrible births, so I really wanted somebody to be assertive on my behalf if needed and make sure I wasn't butchered . As soon as I got the c-section confirmed I cancelled her as I was happy then with my friend - if that makes sense, and I felt somebody else could make better use of the service. I was lucky to be near to my family afterwards so didn't need the support then either. She was lovely tho and I paid for her support up to that point. She helped me wth the after effects of a traumatic 999 trip to delivery, gave me some massages, 'e' mailed and phoned often etc etc.

Would recommend one. I _think_ Patterdale had a Doula too.

Good luck

LL xx


----------



## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

thanks for this ladies - i think it's a great idea and am going to get on to it!

RLxx


----------



## Candee (Feb 1, 2009)

Something _else_ I had never heard of  
Me and my adipose tissue are now going to google doula - i thought it was going to be some sort of pain relief, like a tens machine, when I saw the topic heading!    
Candee
x


----------

