# IUI With Vaginismus Part 10



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Part 10 already   good luck ladies, C x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Candy xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna

I'd never heard that about runny noses. You learn something new every day! I really hope that you have some good news by the end of the week, and Polly too. I am certain that mine is a genuine af, just a bit light because it is early and I didn't ovulate. Quite strange/lucky in a way because I have none of the normal af/pmt features (bad temper, sore breasts, bloatedness, inabilty to parallel park, increased clumsiness). 

I hope they appreciate all your out of hours efforts at work. I love buying stationary too. Each September I wish I still had an excuse to buy back to school stuff!

I've been pottering about in my garden, tidying things up. The day has just vanished without me having done half the things I wanted too. Today has been pleasant enough, but not very exciting.

Enjoy the last of the weekend. Are you ready for all those babies tomorrow?!

Bye for now,
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

Your weekend sounds lovely, mine wasn't too bad either.
Dh is back to work tommorrow which is great but I had got used to him being home whne I got home,now I'll have to wait till 8 for him to get home  

Yes its an old wives tale I think that a cold can be an eary sign of pregnancy!

Runny nose has got worse has day went on now have slight cough and sore throat and nose is really really sore, feeling quite groggy! sitting here sniffing olbus oil hoping cold will go away! I hate being ill.

Hope the old wife was right and it is a sign of pregnancy!   

Polly are you going to test?

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

I haven't given up on either of you two girls yet! I will test if AF doesn't start on Thursday, but nothing is giving me a clue either way at the mo. My usual spotting beforehand won't help, as I still have spotting from the op.

DN has returned today, so we had fun making fajitas from scratch. Both decided that gluten free tortillas lack something.  


Sorry I have been a bit quiet recently, just tired, and lots on. But I really hope that the house selling goes well Emma, great that DH likes it as well. 

What activities do you plan for babies, Donna? A bit of gurgling here, a tickle there?  What fun!

Anyway, I'm off again. I want to phone a couple of people, but DN is waiting for the Lad to ring, so I'll do it later. In the mean time, we are watching The Princess Diaries 2. Great excuse!

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning all,

Polly - glad you had a nice weekend. I can't believe you are still spotting from the op - poor you. Are you still having to wear tampons all the time? Do you normally get af symptoms beforehand?

Donna - hope you are feeling better. I think summer colds are worse than winter ones. It seems wrong to feel ill when the sun is shining. Take care of yourself petal.

No excitements here to report. 

It's not the same without Annie's early morning posts!

Hope you all have a lovely day,
Emma,


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Were you bored today Emma without Annie to chat to?

Polly, LOL at what you wrote about me planning! I wish it was like that! Have to plan sand, water play. Painting and drawing acticities. Messy play like Jelly or cooked pasta and mirror paly and storys, rhymes things like that!

No AF symptoms from me as yet    feeling bit rough with cold though! its crazy woke up yesterday feeling fine by the evening I was crawling into bed! Hope it disappears soon!  

2WW is driving me nuts as always! although been quite busy but still always on my mind! feel really nervous this time round and think it will hit me harder if it fails becuae everything went so perfect!

Dh not home till 8  

Bath and a cuppa I think,

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Donna - poor you. I hope you feel better soon. Let's hope it is a sign of something.   

Do you have to cook all the time if dh gets home so late? Perhaps you do all the cooking anyway? I really don't feel like cooking at all tonight, but I'l do it anyway. I'd love a Chinese takeaway, but the one near us (which is fantastic) is closed for 3 weeks. Outrageous!

I did miss Annie today. She always has so much going on in her life - unlike me - that I love her updates throughout the day! 

I've been running round polishing everything yet again today. Dh makes such a mess over the weekend. We have people coming to look at the house tomorrow and Wednesday. Please let them like it!

Donna - do you have to sing to the babies? I could never do that in a million years and am full of admiration for people who can.

Oh well, best head to the kitchen. Take care Donna.

Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma,

Dh ended up doing the early shift and suprissed me and got home at 7pm 
I don't have to cook for DH but its a bit mean not to when he gets in so late and I've been at home for 2 hours. Although I am lazy and DH does do it most of them time. DH is a much better cook than me, I am better at cooking things from scratch but can't be bothered to do that in the week.

Yes I have to sing to the babies although I only do it when nobody is around  I have an awful voice but the babies don't seem to mind.

I really hope all goes well for you when the people view your house it would be great for everything to speed through for you.

Hopefully I'll have no babies tommorrow as a few are sick, it will give me a chance to catch up on all the paper work and put up my display -  but bet I'll have to cover in another room  

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi both of you!

Emma - you are such a domestic goddess! I hope that the viewers love your house and buy on the spot!

Donna, how old are the babies? I thought they would be tiny, but I guess they must be a wider range if they play with sand and jelly and pasta. (What do they do with the pasta and jelly? I bet they eat a fair bit of it!  ) Sorry about your cold, but like Emma says, maybe it's a good sign. 

Yes, I'm afraid that I am still having a bit of bleeding, but this is to be expected. The vagina skin is very delicate, as we know, and using the dilators and bms is to break any scarring is an important part of the aftercare, so obviously that causes a bit of bleeding. Then I have to use the tampons to keep the sides apart so they don't stick to themselves. I hope that isn't TMI.  

I do usually get some symptoms of af, but spotting is the main one.

Donna, I hope that your baths aren't too hot!!   I love a good boiling bath, but not good for ttc! 

I won't test until the weekend - by then I shouldn't have to   but I'm still not sure about my o date. However, my temps went down today, so that isn't a good sign.

Anyway, got to go. DN is out on a hot date, and I have to pick her up at 9.30.  

Love

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma

Just to give you an early morning message!

Love Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning Polly!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

I was a nervous wreck this morning. Chappie who was supposed to be coming to view the house this evening phoned at 9.30 to change to 11.00 this morning. I had to run around like crazy getting everything clean and tidy. I think I saw him loitering outside the house too. I left early with dogs and all evidence of dogs (baskets, toys etc) but he was really early so would have seen them. 
We've had our offer on the Chester house accepted today, so now we really have to sell ours quickly! Very nerve-wracking.

Polly, Donna - hope the final stages of the 2ww are going well. Are you thinking about it all the time? 

I might try and entice dh into a bit of S myself this evening. Af is over so it is time to start the fun and games all over again.
I'm heading off into the sunshine now.

Bye for now,
Emma, xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma! Great news on the house. Didn't quite understand what you had to do with yours and the dogs. Was the estate agent showing and you had to leave with the dogs? I suppose it is better to have the estate agent show, then it's not as personal.

I think it might be all over for us this month, having said that spotting wasn't a sign I think it was more today, so that is probably that.

A bit of a downer, as it is our 8th wedding anniversary today, so it would be nicer to be in the dark til tomorrow at least!

Anyway, I don't know what we will do, we haven't enjoyed going out for dinner much recently, as we've found the food poor wherever we've been. Plus I have had my act together about not eating allergic things, and don't want to spoil it. In any case, Lad and DN have gone bowling, and she needs picking up at 9.30. I told them both off a bit today as they were neither of them really working hard. I think she's a bit tired, so I have said no going out tomorrow evening  . Am I awful  ? But I'll let them go out on Thursday  .

Just talked to DH. Chinese takeaway and a DVD from the film club is what we are going to do, and a snuggle up on the sofa. Nice. Don't expect to hear any more from me this evening!   

Take care both of you.

Love Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - I'm so sorry that you think it is all over. It's not over until it's definately over. I'm still keeping everything crossed for you. What a shame to happen (if it has) on your wedding anniversary.
Your plans for this evening sound lovely (I'm really craving Chinese food at the moment). Shame you have to get off the sofa to pick up DN.

I think Herts is very poorly served with restaurants. We haven't found many good ones near us either. It really surprises me given that the area has so many people with ridiculoulsy high incomes.

I don't think you were too harsh on DN. You are just looking out for her. Plus when you're at work you have to be in boss mode, especially with the lad. You can't have Polly Enterprises suffering because of their romance. I used to hate it at work when people got romantically entwined, as you could never get a decent days work out of them until things had run their course. 

Sorry not to make much sense earlier. I let the estate agents show people round. I like to pretend that the house isn't inhabited by dogs, so take them and all their rubbish out in the car when anyone wants to look round. Plus I'm a hopeless liar, so if someone asked me about the neighbours or parking, or some other difficult topic, I wouldn't be very good at bluffing my way through it.

2 more people looking round tomorrow.

Donna - hope you are feeling a bit better. Did you get to catch up with all your paperwork?

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Had 1 baby in today so had a very nice calm day! don't think I'll be so lucky.

Polly we take babies from 3 months but at the moment the youngest is 8 months and the eldest few are 1 year.
Sorry you think it may be over for you this month, your evening sounds lovely hope you enjoy it xx

Emma, fantastic news about your offer being excepted! hopefully 1 of your veiwings will put an offer in too!

Feeling really bloated this evening and think I may have trapped wind! sorry tmi   this isn't a usuall sign of af and maybe it isn't even connected.
Have had some c/m today which is a usual sign of af but then can be a sign of preg so still non the wiser!

just sent DH out for a chinese even though I do feel boated and we really shouldn't be spending money on takeaway at the moment but ho hum!

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Polly - I hope you had a lovely evening with dh yesterday. Any more af signs? I really hope not.

Donna - still bloated?!

We mananged some S this morning . I was quite nervous as it had been a while (tiredness then unexpected af having brought such things to a halt), but seemed to 'work' fine! I reckon after a gap I need to get one go under my belt and then I can get on with enjoying things!

More polishing and cleaning this morning. How do things get so messy again so quickly? Then this afternoon I'm going to go blackberry picking whilst people look round the house. I _love_ blackberries.

Have a great day everyone,
Emma


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Girls

Emma! Blackberrying! Humph! Mind you, I'm never that sure about the ones that I see, as they are near the road. I hope yours are more rural and less covered in lead poisoning!

I love "Polly Enterprises"! I think I'll set up a new company just for the name.  

Still a bit of spotting and a few crampy feelings. So although it's not over til the fat lady sings, I do think the orchestra is tuning up. 

What about you both? Still feeling bloated, Donna? Any other symptoms? Emma, are you sure that was a proper af that you had?

Speak later

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Polly - it must be a nightmare for you to work out what is going on with your body if you have spotting all the time. I'm still hoping to have good news from you and Donna.

The blackberries I pick are in the middle of a field, well away from roads. There are some fabulous looking ones next to the M25, but I'll give those a miss.

I am as sure as I can be that it was af for me. Although it was much lighter and without the usual PMT symptoms, I'm assuming that is because it was so early.
I'm just hoping I actually ovulate this month.

Donna - as the ticker queen, can you help me. I've tried updating my ticker by clicking on it and putting in new dates, but nothing changes.

Bye for now
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Polly it may not be on its way don't give up hun! hows DN?

Emma How many blackberries have you eaten so far? think you need to get your ice cream maker out again  
With your ticker the only thing I can suggest is to delete the one you have and start again, sorry cant be more helpful

Feel bit yuk today and I am not sure if that is due to pending AF or cold I have! Still feeling a little bloated and sicky - I usually feel like this on first day of af ONLY! so a bit strange to feel like it now!
Had a few cramps today and far more discharge than normal to! really don't know what to make of it all - discharge seems darker than normal to but that could be due to me over analysing!

Very confussed but have a sinking feeling its not my month  

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - don't give up hope yet. Those signs could be significant.    

Thanks for the ticker tip. I'll try later. Your ticker appears to have vanished, by the way.

Blackberry ice-cream is a very good idea. I didn't pick enough for that today and I don't have all the other ingredients, but I reckon I'll make some later in the week. I don't use an ice-cream maker (although I'd love to have one when I've got a bigger kitchen), so have to make a custard, puree the fruit, whip cream, etc then incorporate it all together.

Got to go. Naughty dog to deal with.

Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi 

because your ticker is gone, Donna, I've lost track of when you should test. (Now! Now! Now!) Emma, I really want you to test too. I know you don't think it is worth it. Have you started temping again this month, are the temps way down or not? 

Nothing definitive with me yet. i can't decide if the spotting is still more or less than "normal". I have had a good look at my chart, and previous ones, and when it says that I have ovulated early, I always have a long luteal phase, and vice versa, so I do wonder if my o date is inaccurate those months. My cycle is between 27 and 29 days, so I won't test til Sunday, despite my chart telling me I should test tomorrow. But I'll probably be able to save that test for another month!

DN didn't last the pace today, I had to drop her off home in the middle of the afternoon with a migraine, and she is still asleep. So it wasn't worth me putting my foot down about going out tonight - i should have saved it for another time when it was worth being power-crazed.... 

Just heard that DSS isn't due until Saturday now, so DH and I will have Friday night to ourselves. Hopefully I'll be in the mood to shake the rafters , as we've been a bit quiet this week  . 

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Not sure where my ticker has gone   AF is due on friday but feels like it is coming tonight! having more cramps and lower back pain tonight and feeling really sorry for myself  
Didn't say before but last night (and tonight) I was really cranky but put it down to being tired and not feeling 100% at first it wasn't till I started getting all stressed that the house was a mess and it need a good clean that I realised it mas PMT   I always get obsessed with the house being a mess before AF - although I never get around to giving it that really good clean!

Reallt feel like I will never get pregnant! becasue of my age a stupidly thought that once I was able to have 's' I would get pregnent easily!

Donna


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna - your ticker is back! 
I get exactly the same cranky obsesson with cleaning just before af  . Let's hope yours is a sign of something else. Donna, I also thought that you would get pg very quickly because you have age on your side. Anyway, we don't know that you're not yet.

Polly - it has to be a good sign (or at least not a bad one) if spotting hasn't turned into a fully-fledged af yet. If -  and I really hope it isn't the case - af does come, are you going straight to IUI next month, or having another go au naturel?

Polly, the idea of someone thinking I could be pg is just wonderful, but I've never felt less pg in my life. I don't have any of the twinges or signs we sometimes think are significant. Even though I know I'm not pg, I can't face the disappointment of an 'official' BFN, so I'm not going to test I'm afraid. I'll find out in 9 months time, if not before, if I was wrong! 
I took my temp yesterday, and it was high, but I can't read anything into that. There are 1001 factors other than being pg that could cause it. I kind of forgot to start temping properly this month. I'm not even sure what day I'm on. I guess it must be day 8 if the spotting (that became af) started a week ago. I'd better get on with some bms soon!
I hope DN is feeling a bit better today. It sounds ever so stressful looking after a teenage girl!

So far noone is coming to look at the house today, so I don't have to clean things. Yippee! And my new sofa should be arriving today. Extra yippee! 

Have a great day everyone and, most importantly,   

Emma


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Good grief! I never get an obsession with cleaning, cranky or otherwise!!! Isn't that DH's job?  

I feel quite af-ish today, but temp has gone up again! The only thing that I can go on is that these feelings and the spotting have always resulted in af in the past   

Of course, I couldn't go diving if I was pg... - nah, it's really not much of a consolation!

Ho hum. 

Speak soon

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - I want your dh (just kidding)! Cleaning _and _ ironing - he is too good to be true.

Temp rise sounds promising.

I get so nervous coming on here when people are at this stage of the 2ww. I don't want to see any bad news. 

I have been alloting and cooking all day. I have just made the yummiest courgette cake - honestly, it is far nicer than it sounds! It is carrot cake but made with courgettes instead. 
If only my sofa would arrive I could sit on it and eat a piece.

Bye for now,
Emma


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Feeling really down today which is also a sign that af is on its way!
Had some spotting last night, well cant even call it spotting a ''normal'' person who wasn't obssesed and analysimg everything wouldn't have even noticed it! Haven't had anymore since but feel like af is on its way, I have all usually symptoms, lower back and tummy ache, tearful, irritable and just genreally feeling pi$$ed off especially since we have been ttc!

Dh said this morning that if I get to upset this month then he thinks we should have a break for a month! I told him if we have a break we may as well stop all together!
I know I cant stop now I have started but the way I feel reight now is just to give up its all to much and nobody understands how I feel and I have nibody to talk to  

Just ignore we feeling really angry, down and sorry for myself

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, I wish I could give you a real hug! A cyber one will have to do  

It could be a good sign that you had spotting yesterday but nothing since? You've never mentioned that before af in other months. I haven't given up hope for you yet.

I've had similar conversations about ttc with my dh. I think because it isn't happening directly to them and their bodies, and they don't go through the mental torment of looking out for physical signs (good and bad), men just don't quite get what we go through. I think your dh just hates to see you so upset and stressed and doesn't know quite what to do or say for the best.

Donna - you will get there some day, as will Polly and Annie, and will be a brilliant mother. I know that is no consolation now. 

I have to go now, I'm afraid. Dh needs a lift. You're not alone Donna, and we all know just what you're going through. Have a hot bath, a good cry, lots of chocolate, and a big hug from dh.

Emma, xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, I so sorry that you are feeling down. A big hug and some chocolate are what you need. Like Emma says, men don't & can't understand what it feels like. Also they tend to take things at face value, so when we say things like "I can't go through this again" or "I can't bear it to be negative again", they think that it is supportive to say, "well, lets not", and don't know that we want them to say "it'll be ok, we'll get there, we're in this together". Poor things, a bit of mind reading would go a long way!!

It may not be over for you yet, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Love 

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning 2wwers,

How are you both today? I'm hoping it still isn't definately over for either of you.    

Donna - just realised how stupid it was to recommend a hot bath yesterday. Apologies..... 

Take care, my dears,
Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Donna, I hope you are feeling a bit better today.

I am just irritated now! Having heavy spotting/light af, but temps still up. Feel quite crampy. Going to have to test in the mornng if temp is still high. Don't really think its worth it....

Love Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - have you ever had temp remaining high after af has started before? 

Unless you have a cold that could be a good sign?  

Emma, xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Nope, never had a temp pattern like this, but this has now gone beyond heavy spotting, and is into full blown ikky cramps. I am really cross  about the conflicting signs, and sure that I am not pg, but still don't want to do anything about the cramps like heat or painkillers just in case....

Maybe I have had more broken sleep than I thought, or was too warm in bed, or.....

Dunno

Prised DN away from the Lad long enough to put her on the coach for home!  I have really enjoyed having her around, even the "taxi" service and figuring out where to draw the limits. <sigh>

Love Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Polly I really really hope that it isn't AF  

Woke up this morning and bang on cue AF started   I am glad that it wasn't late so didn't mess with my head but been feeling really lousey all day plus had a really busy one at work! Still have a cold but I guess atleast now I can take something for it as didn't want to risk it before    how stupid!

Don't know wtaht to do now and feel very alone

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna, I'm so, so sorry. It just isn't fair!  You are _not_ alone. You have your wonderful dh, and we are here for you too. I know its not the same as real people, but we do have some idea of what you are going through. If I could do anything to help you I would.

Somehow you will get through this, yet again. You are a very strong person - perhaps stronger than you give yourself credit for.

You need to plan something really lovely to do over the weekend to take your mind off all this ttc nonsense. How about a day out somewhere you've never been before? Why not get in the car and just drive and see where you end up.

Polly - you have to test so that you know one way or the other.
How irritating to have conflicting signals.
Sorry that DN has gone. Will you have top contend with a lovesick Lad at work now.

Don't think I'll be around much tomorrow. I'm supposed to be meeting my Japanese friend in London again, if only she'd turn her mobile on!
Take care Donna and Polly, 
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

DH is wondeful but it is hard to talk to someone that is going through just as much as me, sometimes its best to just put a braze face on it and pretend all is ok.

Friends my own age don't understand what I am going through because they're not at the stage where they want children and my friends that are older either have children or are pregnant and I can't really talk to my pregnant friends becuse it sounds like I am trying to make them feel guilty when I'm not.

It is also hard to speak to your guys because I am younger than you, I feel I cant show my tru e feeling because you have all been going through it longer than me.
I know I have more years left in me then you but it doesn't come as any consulation.....
It is hard to talk to you because I know if you had the chance you'd go back 10yrs. I know I have time on my side but I want a family now  

Emma, have a lovely time with your friend.

Polly, please test I have everything crossed for you.... be lovely to have some good news

Donna xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, I just wrote you a long post, and then lost it, but in the meantime, you posted.

Yes, you have time on your side, and yes i envy you that, but I don't begrudge you it, nor think that your desire to have children NOW is any different from mine, please don't think that. I know we have talked about the differences in our circumstances, but that was conversation, not an immovable viewpoint. You said it was hard to talk to us because of the age differences, but you musn't think that (for instance) I find it hard to listen to/read your posts because of that. Age, like other differences, aren't relevant on the internet, beccuase we take each other much more at face value. That helps me, and I really appreciate for instance, that noone suggests that I am too old or being silly or should have got my act together sooner. 

Please say what you want (other than that I am too old  ) It is important that you can say it, if we can do anything for each other, it's to listen and be honest about how this journey makes us feel.

However, don't hold out hope for me, as this is AF, most definitely.  . 

Please take care

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Polly xx

Sorry to hear that you think AF is definatley going to arrive, atleast I can say in all honesty that I know how you feel.

Couldn't get the lilliepie ticker to work so ended up with a stupid thing from ticker cental instead!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - just seen your post, and don't really know where to start.

Just want to say I don't really think about your age. I think we're all going through pretty much the same thing (excitement, anticipation, crushing disappintment) each month and want the same thing. I actually think, in some ways, it is worse for you because you have been actively trying for longer than me. Insofar as I ever think of your age it is _not_ to think 'oh Donna is so young and has plenty of time', but, in a very selfish way, I think that if you can't manage to get pg what chance is there for someone like me or Polly (sorry Polly, hope I don't offend by mentioning age). I also really admire you for dealing with the vag and seeking treatment now rather than sticking your head in the sand for 11 years like I did.

Donna although I have many regrets about not sorting myself out 10 years ago, I actually wouldn't go back in time even if I could. I feel that everything happens for a purpose, and this during this whole process of beating the vag I have learnt so much about myself that will make me a far better mother and has made my relationship with dh far stronger.

I am quite shocked and upset that you felt you couldn't talk to us because of age. This is one of the few places where you can say exactly what you feel and let it all out. Noone is going to reprimand you or think badly of you. Please, please, please show your true feelings rather than worrying what anyone might think about it. There are no right or wrong feelings or views about anything.

Donna - I hope I haven't said anything that upsets you, but if you are angry with me or anything just let rip. I really want to help you get through this difficult time if I can, not make things worse.
I'm not going out today after all, so I'll try and pop back later (if dh isn't hogging the pc all day).

Polly - so sorry about af 

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I hope I didn't go too far earlier. I didn't want to make things worse.  I just wanted you to know that I am here for you; I don't want you to feel alone with nobody to talk to.

Emma, xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

You are all _very_ quiet today. I guess you actually have lives, unlike me!

I have drunk far too much wine this evening, after a week of abstinence. Dh is watching a very dull programme about salt on TV. He so rarely watches TV that it would be wrong for me to complain.

I have tried to sort out my ticker but to no avail. I'm actually on day 10 and - cue fanfare - there are signs of CM again this month! Managed some s/bms this morning, and may try again later. I was really nervous and worried that it wouldn't work, but all was well. I just have to keep trying, without too many days off, to restore my confidence. That makes it sound like some great ordeal, but it is fun really! 

I spent this morning polishing things as someone was looking round the house. Had a lovely afternoon though, slobbing on the sofa reading the papers and watching Bridget Jones DVD for the zillionth time.

Hope you are all OK. 
love, Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

This must be the longest time we have gone without posting!!

I was up north yesterday (near Chester), at a workshop, and have spent the day trying to put what I learnt into practice (not succeeded yet) and so have been busy.

Temps went down a bit yesterday but I tested anyway. Negative, like I knew, although the test didn't do what the picture suggested, or I remembered from last time I used that brand. 

Donna - how are you? I hope that anything I said didn't make you feel any worse?

Take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Glad I'm not just talking to myself any more.

Polly - so sorry about the BFN.  I'm not really sure what you mean about the test not doing what the picture said. Does that mean it could actually be a BFP?

Donna - hope you are OK. 

I have had  such a lazy day and feel better for it, apart from my b****y mother having really wound me up today - she really doesn't approve of us moving to Chester (thinks we should come and live near her - as if) near dh's family.
Hoping for some bms action this evening!

Got to go,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone I am back,

Sorry I was having problems get on the site all weekend and it was reallt winding me up as I wanted/needed to talk to you all.
Apparently there is some problems for AOL users so I have had to access the site using Internet explorer.

Thank you for what you both said it helped a lot. Emma, I didn't mean to upset you I just feel that sometimes I am not justified to moan because in some ways I am luckier than you guys becuase of my age. But you have both put me straight so I will winge away!  

Had a really rough weekend (made worse by the fact I couldn't get on here) think I am over AF arriving now just about although DH and I haven't made plans for next month (bit hard when we didn't talk to each other all day saturday!) will be tonights toplic of conversation!

Think we have decided to decorate whole house   in the hope it will act as a distraction 

Manager walked out if work today (horrahh)and we are not sure if she is coming back!
IF she doesn't and IF they make the current deputy the manager then there will be a deputy vacancy that hopefully I can fill but it depends on alot of IFS plus me and the owner have had words recently (due to cheques bouncing) so not sure? 
Although I was thinking of leaving the nursery it is a small nursery (takes 65 children but currently only has 40) and would be the perfect place to have my first deputy job, so in long run would be good fot me to stick out and gain experience - if I get the deputy job that is so we'll see.

Polly, sorry test was negative but bit confussed with what you posted? does this mean it could be a false negetive? I hope so  

Emma, you didn't upset me in anyway (thank you for pm) you can say alot of things to me on here that you wouldn't say to someones face and we have all been through so much together I don't think we could ever effend each other now.
Bet Annie is havig a fantastic time!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi girls!

Good to hear from you Donna, so sorry that you had a bad weekend . how frustrating not to get on when you wanted to. It's really encouraging news about your manager, and I wouldn't worry about having had words with the owner about the cheques - it might have made him understand that you can stand up for yourself and that therefore you would make a good deputy manager. When the time is right, go and ASK for the job, and tell him why you would be good for him. If he is so stoopid that he turns you down, make him tell you exactly WHY. Then you can decide whether there is a future there for you or not with this guy. Sorry, I know that I am being dictatorial again, but you always come across as knowing that you want promotion, and if there is anything that I can do to help, I really want to do it!

As for the test, it was a Predictor, and the picture suggests that what happens is that the three windows go pink, and then they go white, leaving the first one blank, the second with a pink spot if + or blank if -, and the third with a pink spot. Well, they all stayed pink, but I could see a darker pink spot in the third one, and definitely not in the second one. So NOT BFP, but still irritating. Anyway there was no doubt that it was AF .

BTW Just to make it clear - I have no problems about talking about my age, or being older or whatever, my comment (tongue in cheek) was _*don't tell me I am too old to be thinking about ttc!*_ I know that none of you would do that, hence tongue in cheek, but please don't feel awkward about talking about age, i won't be offended. 

Lots of love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Sorry it was AF arriving for you Polly, Looks like we are all off again next month - lets hope Annie has some good news to tell us when she arrives home!

DH have decided to stick with what we did/tried last month - so NO opk I know roughly when I ovulate anyway (got it spot on last month) so we will try to go with the flow as much as possible, hard when you are ttc

Polly, I will definatley put myself forward for the job, I have already told the current deputy that if he makes her manager and advertises her job then I'd apply. She seems to think it would be better to do it all internally anyway as it is better for the parents as there will be no new faces so we'll see I 've dropped enough hints to her so we will have to see what he does next really! there may not even be a deputy job up for grabs yet but if there is I soooooooooooo want it!

Think I'll try and get a new ticker I dont like the one I have 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning!

Donna - welcome back!  I've had problems getting on here recently too although I'm not an AOL person. 
So sorry about your weekend. I hope things are a bit better with dh now. Decorating is a great idea (although it may not seem like it when you are knee deep in paint). Don't do too much stretching and lifting though, just in case.
Goodness, it seems to be one crisis after another at your workplace. Polly is right (as always ). This will be a good oportunity for you to find out whether or not there is a future for your there. I really hope you have some good news soon.

Polly - the test you used sounds far too complicated! It is bad enough with 2 windows to worry about, let alone 3!

Dh and I haven't given ourselves the best chance this month. We've only had 2 lots of bms (Saturday, Monday am). We were too tired last night. We _have_ to try tonight, however tired! I'm not using OPK, but don't think I've ovulated yet. I definately have some CM again this month, but haven't had the ovulation CM yet.

Got to go - more cleaning.  Have a lovely day.

Emmma, xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

Thought I'd better talk to myself before we slip down onto page 2.

Hope you are all OK.

Managed some bms again this morning. We were going to try last night but I fell asleep the moment my head hot the pillow.   I think I'm ovulating or about to ovulate, so I guess that was our last chance for this month. Dh says he'll try to take some time off next month so that we can give it our undivided attention. 

Slightly peeved today. The people who were going to come and view the house yesterday and today both cancelled. I know its early days but I'm starting to get worried about not selling, losing the perfect house in Chester, and having to live apart from dh for many months. Worrying about everything is what I do best.

I'm feeling quite aimless today. I can't be bothered to tend my allotment because I'm hoping to leave it soon. I want to get on with the business of moving, but actually there's nothing to do. I'm going to enjoy the sunshine and hope that this is the short-lived calm before the storm.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Sorry I wasn't around again yesterday, I went to aerobics after work so by the time I got home had something to eat and showered it was bed time!

Emma, there is still time for some BMS tonight! sorry things are going slowly with the house selling seems like you made the most of it today though -  I am very envious!

Owner of the nursery has decided that me and another lady are going to run the nursery while the current deputy (or is she manager now? no body knows!) is on hoilday! crafty as he wont pay as anymore but hopefully something will come out of it after! Problem is I know that the lady I am supposed to be running it with is very lazy and any kind of authority goes to her head. She was made room leader on a trail basis and she acts like she owns the place so not sure exactly how its all going to work yet! may have to bite my tounge for 3 wks!

Just finnished AF! It was longer than usuall but thankfully over now -  I think! on to next month now which we will hopefully have better luck!

Not 100% sure about decorating, I want it done but hate doing it so its all down to DH. I also hate the house being unorganised

Bye for now

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna,

Just a quickie - I'm in the middle of cooking. Great news about work - shows they must think highly of you (and quite right too). Grit your teeth, bite your tongue (at the same time? ), and don't let the other lady get to you.

Might be worth another go at bms tonight indeed - nothing to lose!

I'll try to pop back later,
eMMA, XXXX


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma,

Definatly worth ago at bms tonight, go for it!

Just cooked a lovely (well I hope it is) Tuna pasta bake - very basic I know! Smells lovely and the pasta is dired pasta but its from italy! tastes good!

Have to wait now for DH to come home before I can eat any  shouldn't be to long now though!

Going to family planning tommorrow to see about a smear test  

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Just saying a quick hi! Mad week, as just sold another franchise and as usual am trying not to let the franchisee know that I haven't got my act together!! So scrambling to get everything ready.

In ONE WEEK, I will have finished work until mid sept. SO that's another reason to be still at work tonight. Hoping that DH and I won't be too tired tonight for a bit of practice!!

Well done about work Donna, you will outshine the other person and make it clear where you are heading! 

Sorry about &%$# buyers, Emma, don't fret too much, not good for  !!

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly, well odne on the franchise, What is it you do again? Off work till mid september sounds bliss!

Sorry but I am about to moan, feel free to scroll past this bit.................................................

Finding this TTC stuff really hard at the moment, don't know how long I can keep going its really getting me down. Everyone else seems to get pregnant by looking at a man but me I just can't do it.
Really don't want to have more treatment but cant see me falling pregnant naturally and don't even know if IUI would work for that matter.
A close freind, who I guess is drifting apart due to the fact that she is pregnant so I can't talk to her about thuings like I used to  - or feel I cant. Is gettign all excited and preparing for the birth in october and I don't know how I 'll cope when it happens, Bokked 3 days of work to help her to!
The my brothers baby is due in Jan if I 'm not pregnant by then I don't know what I 'll do!
You never think this will happen to you do you! its always other people that cant have kids!

The only people who understand are DH and you girls. I love you guys and couldn't have got to where I am with out you, and please don't take this wrong but its not the same as real people and real conversation do you know what I mean? God I know that sounds really ungrateful and I''m not and I really value our friendships...................

Just wish there was a quick fix which of course there isn't. I want to be walking smuggly round mothercare on a Sunday! but I wont be.

I can't take it anymore  

Sorry  Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna

Poor you, feeling so down. I don't know what to say to make it better, cos it won't really be better til you are pg. I'm sure it won't be long now. It's horrible being so single minded and getting nowhere - we all know that and know how it feels. 

I wish I could just  wave a wand and make it better, but I just can't.  I know what you mean about not having real people to talk to, but is there no-one? Your mum, sister, friend? It is tough confiding in people, especially as you don't know how long it will be, and sometimes people can ask you how it's going when you really are getting bored with it all, and then not ask when you really want to talk.

Have a big hug. Can you and DH do something fun and distracting together this weekend? It's not the answer, but maybe it might help.

Take care

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Donna, sorry you are feeling so down. This ttc business is so stressful, isn't it. If it is any consolation - and probably not   - you only have to look at us lot to see that not everyone gets pg just by looking at a man! 
I don't have any 'real' people to talk to about ttc either. Of course I talk to dh, but sometimes it would be nice to talk to someone who is removed from the situation yet understands it. I've come so close to talking to my MIL about it on several occasions (ex-nurse, ex-midwife). I think she'd be sympathetic, but I don't want to just in case she thinks that her son has wasted his life by marrying the wrong woman! Plus I don't know how far I can go with talking about ttc without going into the vag etc.
You guys are fabulous though, and the next best thing to real people! (Better than real people in many ways too).

I agree with Polly that you need some sort of distraction, and something to look forward to. Sometimes just a day away from everyday life is all it needs to make you feel a bit better and ready to face the world again.
I can feel myself heading towards that so am going to take myself off somewhere at the weekend.

Polly - glad to hear of yet more success at Polly Enterprises!   You really are superwoman.   Sounds like you will be ready for your holiday.
How is the new eating regime going, by the way. have you found yummy alternatives to all the things you've had to give up?

No excitements to report here. Dh and I both had yet more nightmares about moving last night. I wake up feeling so tired and stressed at the moment. Didn't manage any more bms either. 

Have a great day everyone,
Emma,


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi!

We're not being very chatty at the moment! Donna, did you go and see about your smear? 

Emma - the eating is going very well, I'm pleased to say, and the bathroom scales agree, which is great. One of the things that I was supposed to give up was yeast, which includes vinegar, but that was not so much give up completely as not eat so much. That's actually the hardest to avoid,so I'm not doing well at that, but doing OK at the others. I have found some dark choc covered rice cakes, which are scrummy, and make up for a lot. Not feeling much less tired, but better somehow. 

Just got to do the household accounts tonight - I'm very unsure that we can afford Champneys again before our hols, so might not be going. Haven't booked yet anyway.

Off to do some work....but for once I can sit in the garden and do it!

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Didn't finnish work until 7pm tonight as some children were colllected late parent was realy sorry though, but ment it was too late to go to family planning. will go on tuesday evening instead.

Thanks for all you both said yestaerday, and I hope you didn't think I was talking badly of you. You 3 are all fabulous and help me a lot but unfortunatly you girls get full brunt of it all as I don't really have anyone else.
I have friends I can kinda skim of the subject with but no point in goin gto deep as they don't understand.
1 friend I can talk to sometimes but she happens to be pregnant so bit hard to talk about it without it looking like I am digging at her!

Would love to go away for a weekend but just can't afford it at the moment. DH and I have the first week off in september which isn't that far off now......... I think for that week we are going to ban baby talk and ttc and have a week or atleast a few days that are about us! ttc seems to be coming between us at the mo we are very distant with each other and I know its down to me not getting pregnant.

Polly where is it you are going on holiday? have things died down with DN and the lad? you haven't mentioned it for a while.

Emma, any progress with the house? or bms?

night night 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Just went to post and my PC crashed  

Polly - hello! Sorry not to have been chatty enough! I have deliberately tried to come on here and waffle less this week, partly because nothing is happening in my life at the moment, and partly because I reckon you all have far better things to do than read my inane ramblings. 

Did I read your post correctly - vinegar is the hardest thing to give up? Do you eat/drink a lot of vinegar? is it hidden in lots of foodstuffs that you wouldn't imagine. My mind is boggling 
Perhaps it takes a while before you'll feel less tired. When I gave up caffeine it took about a month before I felt better rather than worse.
I reckon you'll look fabulous in your new swimming costume by the time you go away.

Off to the garden? It must get dark later in your bit of Herts. Perhaps you work by candleight....

Donna - how's things today?

I have had such a lazy day, and spent most of it reading. I finally got round to reading Harry Potter 6. Although it could have done with some heavy editing, in my humble opinion, the ending made me cry. 

Dh is working late, yet again. Too late for bms now, anyway (not that I'm suggesting he is only good for one thing).

Bye for now,
Emma, xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

3rd time lucky! I've been trying to post for about an hour. I'm so pleased that Annie taught me how to copy and paste. 

What is this 'Bubbles' thing that has appeared beneath our names?  

Donna - shame about family planning. Good on you for trying next week. You'll be fine.

Night, night.
Emma, xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - I was sitting in the garden with the laptop! Did come in when I couldn't see my papers!

Donna - shame about not getting to the clinic. You could just go out for a long walk, or a daytrip to somewhere nice - Brighton?, and have a wander. Sounds as thought you and DH are at least talking about your stress, so many women on an American site I visit seem to really only use their DHs as sperm donors and keep them in the dark about ttc. Strange!

Certainly didn't think you were saying anything bad about us - I think we both understood what you were saying, and I am pleased that you did say it.

Got to go off to bed now.

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good afternoon!

I am so happy this afternoon.  
This morning my broadband connection wouldn't work at all. I phoned the technical help people who said they'd try and fix it within 48 hours, but it is working again in less than 4 hours! I couldn't imagine 48 hours with no internet access. 

Superwoman Polly - how do you stay up so late? I'm lucky to stay awake beyong 10pm.

Donna - I'd agree that a day trip is just what you and dh need. let's hope it finally stops raining tomorrow.

Dh is starting to get really worried about selling our house. Although I'm slightly worried I think it would be unrealistic to expect to have an offer just as soon as it goes on the market. Come September I'll start worrying properly.

What is going on beneath our names. Yesterday it said something about bubbles, todays it is scabs. I feel very in the dark.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

evening all,

Haven't a clue what is going on under how names but I hope somebody enlightens us soon.

Polly, did you household accounts tally? can you have a weekend at champneys? if so I'm coming in yoru suitcase 

Emma, House selling or buying is so difficult and stressfull, guess thats why I rent. I really hope you have some offers soon though it must be a worry and last thing you both need.

Don't think I said but cold I had or have moved down to my chest -  which isn't usualy for me and I am still feeling grotty so went to doctors today and I am now on anitbiotics so hopefully will fell better soon.

Think DH and I are going window shopping for ideas and inspiration for how to redecorate and transform our house - cheaply!

Hope you are all well?
Is annie back this weekend?

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

My broadband connection still seems to be plagued with problems. Sooooo annoying.

Donna - sorry to hear about your cold. It sounds bad if you need antibiotics. You've been under so much stress that its no surprise that you should get ill. Take good care of yourself this weekend - don't do anything.
Have you had any bright ideas about the house yet? 

Polly  - hope you are well and not working too hard.

We've been out shopping this morning. Dh bought a ridiculous quantity of tomatoes and is planning to spend tomorrow making tomato sauce (the kind you eat with pasta, not ketchup). He made some last year and it was delicious! It is so sweet of him because he doesn't even eat the stuff.   I bought what I thought was the perfect cardigan - thought I was being very clever in buying autumn clothes ahead of autumn - but it looks horrible on me, so will have to be returned.  I don't know about you guys, but I definately feel much less sexy in bulky autumn/winter clothes than in skimpier summer ones.

Sorry if TMI, but dh and I had perhaps the best ever   last night! Also managed it twice again this morning, but the first time was definately the best.  Although we'd had some bms at the start of the week, I hadn't felt very interested in S recently, so I'm pleased that everything is working again!

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. I'm off to London tomorrow to meet my Japanese friend (definately won't be talking about S/BMS with her - the shock would kill her).

Annie - not sure when you are due back, but it must be soon. Hope you had a wonderful holiday, and can't wait to hear all about it!

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Emma so pleased for you about the bms! twice this morning! wow!

I want to try some bms today as I am ovulaing next weekend and want to get some 's' in for us beofre the ttc starts.

Decided not to go window shopping today, we got up really really late plus I am still not feeling 100% so didn't fancy walking around the shops especially when I can't buy anything!

Pop back later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I hope you are resting properly. Can't believe you want to try some S if you don't feel well! 
Are you having plenty of honey and lemon - I drink lots of that whenever I have a cold.

Take care,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

I have been resting loads, didn't get up till 12.30! went food shopping came back and have done nothing since! Did manage some 's' this afternoon though but after I stayed in bed for 2 hours and a little nap, it really knocked me out!

I am just taking the antibiotics twice a day which seem to be quite strong, they are making me feel realy drained or atleast I think they are to blame! Was taking cold and flu stuff from teh chemist but I was getting worse not beter so thats why I went to the GP. seems I have a chest infection/virus thing!

Spoke to GP about ttc while I was there he seemed happy that we were doing all the right things  and kneew what we were doing. He doesn't seem to think that I should have any problems with my tubes seeing as I haven't been sexually active its unlikely that there should be a problem with them! so looks like everything is in working order with me and DH. GP said give it 6 months - 1 year and I should be pregnant! I guess that goes for you girls to! I am so hoping we are all pregnant by christmas!

Talk soon

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

I know it is early but I can't sleep. I'm having one of those nights where I am worrying about everything and anything - especially moving. Silly really. 

Donna - great news that the GP is so positive about your chances with ttc. It would be fabulous if we could all be pg by Christmas. At least one of us has to be by then, surely.
Did the GP say if having a cold and taking antibiotics will affect your chances this month?

Is the bubbles thing beneath our names anything to do with this new smiley  ?

Hope everyone is OK. Have a great Sunday. Back to bed for me soon.
Emma, xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I've been trying to fathom this bubble thing before I go back to bed. There is a whole thread about it somewhere, but I am still confused.

Donna, Polly  - we all have the same number of bubbles (none), yet you both have a 'bubble burst' and I don't! Should I be jealous or relieved. What have i done differently?

Candy  - if you are reading this, do you have the answer?

Emma


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma, your bubble has burst today. I don't know why either! What are u doing up and worrying in the middle of the night? Moving is a pain, and there are lots of things to think about, but it won't get done any faster if you worry! People do move all the time, and there are lots of professionals to help, and it always gets done in the end whether you worry yourself to death or not. So put some lavender oil on your pillow tonight and SLEEP!

Donna, no wonder you have been feeling so down, dragging that virus around! Do you have to take time off work, or is it something you won't give to the little dears? Good news from your GP that he isn't worried about you, and I am sure that you will be pg by Christmas.

I think that if I am not pg by Christmas, I'll give up. Because of having a short cycle last time, we won't be back from hols in time to have IUI next cycle, so we will go back to that in October. Maybe if that doesn't work we will try IVF, but I know that I have to give up soon, or think of donor egg. I'll be 44 on Friday, and I can't go on pretending that I am still young enough for this. I know I said I didn't want to talk about me being too old, but somehow I feel that 44 is a watershed, putting me in my mid 40s rather than early.   Oops, feeling a bit blue!

Annie, back from hols today? Hope you had a great time, and brought back a "little something" as a souvenir!

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

polly, sorry you are feeling this way, please don't give up hope your are so positive and always know the right thing to say to me but I just can't think what to say to make you feel better. Would you consider an egg donner? its horrible isn't men don't need to worry as they can reproduce for years. I am sorry you are feeling down, please talk to us when ever you need to and I am sure DH is very supportive to. Prehaps after your hoilday when you are all refreshed you will feel differently hun xx

Emma, You sound like me worry about everything, even things that aren't happening yet sometimes in my case! I hope you are feeling better today, it must be hard with DH working so much as you are doing must of it by yourself, Is there anyone who can help you? I do hope you are feeling calmer about things today sweetie xx

I feel better today although still a abit tired, I am not coughing so much at night so seem to be sleeping better. I think it was one of my dear little ones that gave it to me in teh first place! lots of little bugs going round. GP didn't seem to think i would need time off work which is a relief seeing as I don't get sick pay!
GP didn't mention that virus or antibiotic would effect ttc this month do you think they might??

Have no idea what the bubbles are all about but I am sure all will be revealed soon enough

Annie how are you? all brown and sunkissed I bet

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

GUESS WHOSE BACK!!!!

So sorry, can't stop for long at the mo. Will log back later tonight and catch up with all the news. Boy have I missed you all!!! 

We had a fabulous time..... speak to you later xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Annie,

Can't wait to hear all your news, think Emma has really missed you to as she has had nobody to talk to during the day and at times has resorted to talking to herself  
Can't wait to hear all you tales and what you have been up to! did you bring anythign back with you?

DH have just rowed AGAIN! well more of a heated discusion really but ttc seems to be really coming between us at the mo and thats the last thing either of us wants.
I am fed up with every  month planning when to have bms leading up to ovulation. We do all the planning and have all the tension only to fail anyway! Some people have advised to just go with the flow and not plan bms or even think about when I ma ovulating, but I ma sorry I just can't do that I would need to switch off my brain! I just can't forget or ignore when I am ovulating its impossible plus I want to give us the best possible chance even if it doesn't seem to be working!

I am fed of this month after month!!

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - welcome back!     
You were very much missed. Now I don't have to spend the days talking to myself! i can't wait to hear all about your holiday.

Polly - you are not a quitter! I'm sure that even superwoman have 'off' days and moments of self-doubt, but you mustn't give up yet. So long as you are still having regular periods you must still be in with a fighting chance. It might be better for you to go straight to IVF rather than trying IUI first. Have you found a clinic that is sympathetic towards your situation? What about all those stories one sees in the newspapers about 60 something women giving birth after having IVF?

Donna - there is no point trying or pretending to go with the flow, as it were, as you are always going to know when you are ovulating and when you should be having bms. You will get there though, I'm sure. Mind you, stress is not good for ttc at all. 
Perhaps things seem worse this month because you are a bit under the weather. Are you sure you are up to work tomorrow? It seems outrageous to me that you don't get sick pay.

I have had a lovely day today. I met up with my Japanese friend in London, and spent most of the day eating, drinking (only tea ), and chatting. Also went to see a very cheesy film (The Wedding Catchers). A friend of hers wants me to do lots of work for them, so that'll keep me busy for a while . 

Let's hope I sleep better tonight. I do worry about everything (dh is always joking about me worrying that the sky will fall in), even though I know it won't change anything and is counter-productive.

Bye for now my dears,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

aaah..feels good to be back and chatting to my fertility friends. I missed you 3 as much as I missed friends I've known for years and my family! It made me appreciate your friendship more than I already did and I realise how valuable you all are to me. Enough of the slushy stuff - on with my news.

Well really sorry to dissapoint you all, but I have nowt interesting to report. DH & I did absolutely nothing for the entire holiday. Honestly, not a thing. We got up, went to the beach and stayed there all day. The Out Laws went on lots of sight seeing trips so we had alot of quality time together. It was absolute bliss. Weather was glorious, hotel and beach lovely,and it was just so nice to do nothing for 2 weeks. DH & I clearly needed it. We both found it very difficult to sit back and be the epitomy of laziness for that length of time, you know me I love buzzing around here there and everywhere. But I can see now that it was something we both needed to do. I read 7 books did alot of "Sudoku" puzzles  - have you heard of this new craze? It's fab! Lounged around in the sunshine... and oh yes there was mucho oh la la!!!!

It also gave me alot of thinking time and I had a real good look at my life. I know now that I am utterly miserable in my job and that it's starting to make me depressed. I've decided to give myelf til the end of the year. If IUI hasn't worked by then or a miracle of a natural pg then I'm going to look into a change of job - maybe even change of career. Just hope I can last til December with my evil boss. Did I tell you guys that she had me in tears on my last day in the office?? Don't think I did, but in a nutshell she was really mean to me and I totally broke down. It was a real straw that broke the camels back moment and now I can see that I was tired, worn out and truly fed up. 

But batteries are fully re charged and I'm feeling I have alot more perspective on what I want for me. So all positive!

I've also been toying with the idea of trying to write a book for a few years now and I had a few ideas whilst I was sat on that beach. One of the books I read out there was a story about a lady who writes a book and it inspired me to look into pursuing that dream.I think I'm going to write about my Dad. I always make my accupuncturist laugh about tales of my childhood, the relationship with my Dad and all the things we went through - it was her who planted the seed about writing about it all. Think I'm ready to give it a go. Just need to trawl back through the memories!

So enough about me me me - how about you all update me on what's been happening with you guys the last 2 weeks. Emma - any news on the move up North? Donna - How's work? - Polly - how are the young lovebirds?

Sorry if I've bored you all to tears! and sorry there wasn't anything exciting to report. 

Speak to you all soon xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie, you sound fantastic after your holiday it is clearly what you needed! I am still very envious as I really want and maybe need a holiday but thats not going to be happening this year.
You sound very refreshed and have a plan! I always feel better when I have a plan, I think that is the reason why ttc is totally doing my head in as its out of my control.

Nothing much happening with me work as good moments but then it has $hit ones to but then I guess thats life! Thought I may be able to get a deputy job but it seems like they are employing a new manager so there will be no deputy's shoes to fill as she will still be in them (I thought everyone may **** up a post!)
I think I am goin to stick the job out def till christams and maybe till I finish my NVQ but thats in 15 months! then see what happens! maybe the new manager will turn things around nut I very much doubt it!

Had bms again last night! it was lovely as I wasn't expecting it and it just happened -  thats how I want it to be! think rest of week may be more planned though! aiming for bms wed or thurs then def fri/sat/sun

Emma, how are you? you have been quiet today anything wrong?

Polly, are you counting down to your holiday yet! when do you finish work is it this week?

Must go and shower now just got in from an hour at the gym!

Donna xx

good to have you back annie


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Donna, in your last post, did you really mean that you are no longer in the running for the dep job. B*&mm$r!!!! Thanks for asking, but I only have 2 days left of work!!!! Although we have decided we can't afford to go to Champneys as well - and anyway, a week into the holiday, will I care? Will I enjoy it more later in the year when it's grey and rainy. Yep! Family have been planning to give me something towards having some treatments, so I will be able to do all that at the spa while I am away (no male masseurs Annie!!). So we are off work from Thursday but don't go til Sunday night. Plenty of time to get ready for the hols, I want to do some sewing before then, I have some scrummy blue linen that wants to be cropped pants.

More about your work, Annie? I can't believe that your boss was so horrible just before your hol. What was that about? And what happened about the woman who wanted your working hours?
The love birds are going strong! The Lad went to stay with DN last weekend again. I'm being quite careful to not talk to him about it, although I'm not not acknowledging it either. Perhaps if we all go into chat one night, I might say more about it, I don't want to talk about work too much in this more permanent forum. Sorry that sounds mysterious, but it's not!

Any way, must go and drag DH to bed, we've had plans for the last two evenings, but both fell asleep both times! Must get our act together tonight!

Is everything OK with you Emma?

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

I'm fine, but my PC isn't! I couldn't get on the internet at all yesterday or this morning. It seems to be magically working again for the moment. I'm going to post this before it crashes then try a longer message.

I miss you all so much!

Emma, xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oooh it worked! 

There is something wrong with my broadband connection. It was fixed but then it went wrong. A not very helpful chappie told me that they have to do a diagnostics report - no idea what that means, if anything - and then they can fix it, but it could take up to 72 hours! I'm such an internet addict, that this is torture for me. Plus I'm supposed to actually be doing some work for a Japanese man and I can't access it. Argggggg!

Rant over.....

Annie - I am so pleased that you enjoyed your holiday. Sounds wonderful. I am a total Sudoku addict too - especially the Samurai one (5 in 1) that you get in the Times on Saturday. I've never admitted it to anyone before - I thought it was too geeky for words! 
It is good that you have made decisions about what you want to do with your life. Life is too short to stay in a job that makes you miserable. Your boss sounds a total b***h by the way! How have things been since you've been back? Did the old trout who wanted you to change your hours ever get her way?

What a fabulous idea about the book? I bet it will be a real emotional rollercoaster to write about your dad. You can write it when you are pg and on maternity leave! 

Donna - good news about the bms! 
Your employer really messes you around. Could you get a new job somewhere similar and still continue with the NVQ?
Has your cold cleared up now?

Polly - what a shame about Champneys. but just think how fabulous it will be if you go there for a cold, damp February weekend instead.
Sewing your own clothes - wow! I could just about manage cushion covers, or anything that involves a straightish line, but nothing more!
Any luck with bms?

Still no news about our house. Nobody has even looked round for days. I am starting to get a bit anxious about the timing, and dh is _really _ anxious. Looks like come November we'll be living in separate places; I feel like I'm getting divorced. We were talking at the weekend about which of our possessions he'll take with him and which will stay here. It really isn't ideal to have to pay rent on a flat up there as well as our mortgage, and the odds of ttc will be much reduced too. 

Take care everyone, and I hope I'll be back one day soon.
Emma, xxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I really must stoptalking to myself.

Just a quickie, whilst my broadband connection is working: has anyone worked out the bubbles thing yet? I'm still baffled. I had a theory (Donna - I tested it out on you ), but looks like I was wrong!

I _hate_ not knowing things (control freak that I am).

Emma,


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

^Bubble Gum


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I finally worked it out!!! 

Now I can stop talking to myself. Enjoy your bubbles........


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OK Emma you have to tell all about the bubbles! I don't have a spare bit of brain to work it out..... 

Shame about the house, it adds to the stress. I worked away from home a couple of years ago for about 4 months, and found it a bit wearing, so I hope that it doesn't come to that with you, especially with the ttc.

We managed to stay awake long enough to bd last night  . I have forgotten to temp two mornings running, so I hope that we are still in the running.

I have had a go at sudoko. I got a download for my PDA that has loads of games increasing in difficulty, and I haven't yet got as far as the ones that are really challenging. I go through periods of having more time to do them, and then none for days.

I love sewing! I don't do as much as I like, partly because of work, and partly because I'm always "going to lose weight" before I use a really nice bit of fabric. 

Just been for reflexology, she says that I am stressed (tell me something I don't know!), but worked away at my reproductive bits, so maybe that will help.

Anyway, enough rambling...

Take care

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Emma, Please reveal all about the bubbles? I cant work it out?

Polly, shame about champneys   No only kidding, you'll have that to look forward to when your Pregnant and need some tlc later in the year 

Annie, how are you? are you back at work?

Cold is clearing thank you, Antibiotics seem to be working.
Its not that I am out of the running for the deputy's job its just that current deputy is going to remain the deputy and not move up to manager so there is no deputy vacancy to fill 

No more bms as yet   I will keep yuou posted as ever.

Must go now I am so tired I did 30mins in the gym followed by an hours aerobics/dance class! not sure why #

Bye,

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

Bubbles: beneath your name if shows the number of bubbles you have. Beneath everyone elses name it also says 'blow' and 'burst'. If you click on 'blow' you give that person bubbles (as many bubbles as the number of times you click). If you click on 'burst' it removes bubbles from that person. I gave you all 7 bubbles yesterday, but someone must have given Donna some extra ones too, hence her higher bubble rating! You can't give yourself bubbles, which is why there isn't a blow/burst option beneath your own name.
The question is (apart from what is the point of it all) whether it is good to have a high or low bubble score......... 

Back in the real non-bubble world, I hope you are all well. My broadband connection is still playing up, but is allowing occasional access.

Donna - I'm not surprised that you are tired after a day at work then all that exercise. Save some energy for bms! I hope you aren't overdoing things before you've fully recovered from your cold.

Polly - reflexology sounds great. Is that the feet one? Perhaps you'll feel less stressed after your holiday.

Annie - hope you are ok and it isn't too stressful being back at work. have you booked yourself in for the tube test yet?

I'm off to the vets this morning (annual vaccination time - for the dog, not me). He is so sexy it is untrue (even though he doesn't actually seem to like dogs  ). 

bye for now
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Its was very quiet on here today I hope evryone is well?

Not sure what happend with me and my exercise I went a bit crazy, that will probably be it this month  
Cold is alot better although still hanging around, I no longer seem to feel ill though.

BMS def on tonight, I have bathed and have something ' more comforatble to wear ' I have decked the bedroom out in candles - which means I will probably set fire to myself 
plus I have been sending DH naughty texts knowing he cant reply as he has no credit!  
who said ttc couldn't be fun!    

Hoe your dog is ok after the injection emma

Talk later or tommorow xxxxx

Donna xx

ps thanks Emma for working otu the bubbles, I wonder what it all means


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

On the assumption that having bubbles is a good ting, I have given you all some more. the number is completely random, so don't read anything into it!!

I am at work, trying to get everything finished.  

But I'd rather be on hols.

Might pop in later, but gotta work.

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi All

Firstly - what the eck is this bubbles business all about I'll click on blow if it'll help anyone! Is this a game or summit?

So - attended my exam today aaaand....failed by *1* mark. That's right, just 1 teeny weeny mark. I was gutted. Anyway over it now. It wasn't life or death.

Went to work for 3 hours this afternoon. A few things have happened since I went away. Lots of the usual office politics that I won't bore you with. Determined more than ever to get the hell out of there. Boss was overly nice to me to the point of being real fake. I chose to bury my head in e-mails and ignore as much as possible!

Been catching up with friends mostly and revising!. Spent Monday with my friend and her 4 month old girl which was lovely. About a hundred women in the company have had BFP's in the 2 weeks since I've been gone - or seems like it anyway! And it's always the most hainus women too!

Anyhoo - really tired so off to bed. Will check back in in the morning when I can spend some quality time with you all.

Night all xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie, how annoying about your test. 1 mark! will you be taking it again?

Polly, sorry but I refuse to feel sorry for you working late when your off on hoilday! jelous b***h I know 
Seriously I hope your not working to hard! you deserve a nice break

BMS tonight was bloody fantastic! so, so far its been sat/sun and wed! I should ovulate on friday or saturday so will see when we can fit bms in again. Fingrs crossed again this month

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I think I missed ovulation this month  

I'm convinced I ovulated on Tuesday. For once in  my life I was actually feeling some symptoms of it. Dragged DH to the boudoir - but I think he slipped out at the vital moment. 

Sorry to get a bit TMI but I have to say - I felt around the area afterwards and there were wigglies around the place suggesting he might have been there, but there was also a fair amount slighty outside of the zone.  I thought it might be a good test of success if I stood up and see if anything ran back out. In the old days when I used to think we were hapily bms'ing away I never had stuff run out. So up i got and low and behold a whole load of stuff came flying out. However my question is - could that just have been me? I mean could that just have been my juices!?!?!  I was very much into the moment and if I was ovulating there's a good chance it was rather wet up there. 

What d,you reckon ladies?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Hope you are all well on this beautiful sunny day!

I am still having internet problems and it is driving me crazy. I need to be able to come on here and talk to you all as the 2ww enters its final stages! No signs of af or bfp yet at all. I am just so relieved that af didn't come 8 days early again this month. I nearly bought some hpts yesterday but decided that would jinx things.

Annie - how gutting to miss by 1 mark. It seems so unfair. Can you retake? 
In my far from expert opinion, I reckon that what flowed out was a mixture of your juices and wrigglies. But that could be a very good thing. The combination of lots of ovulation-style CM plus your juices should create a very welcoming environment for dh's wrigglies! 

Donna - glad you enjoyed the bms!  You sound very keen indeed! Would you have imagined that at the start of the year.......

Polly - Hope you got all your work finished. Are you on holiday now? Any luck with bms? Does the timing of it all mean that you will have to test whilst away on holiday?

I've got people coming to look at the house today. Lets hope they love it and put in a high offer. I can dream.......

Take care,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Gosh Emma - didn't realise you were nearly ending a 2ww. I bet it happens for you this month. You've had so much going on to keep your mind occupied. This will be the one. Any plans to test?

I hope your thoughts are right Emma. I think I'll tell myself that DH wasn't in. Don't want to raise my hopes. I'm going to call the hospital next week and book in the tube test. I don't want to hang around anymore.

Fingers crossed for the viewing today!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I only realised myself where I was in the 2ww by checking my ticker. It would be great if you were right, but I'm worried that I've been a bit too stressed this month, plus we only had 3 (or maybe 4, can't remember) goes at bms.
Af is due Mon/Tues. I'm not even going to think of testing until well after that.

Dh has a 'feeling', apparently, that next month will be the month. He's not normally prone to these kind of irrational beliefs. Most baffling. He is thinking of having a few days off work for bms though!

Annie - have you given up on the diet now that your holiday is over? 

Better go and do more cleaning.  

Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No not giving up on the diet as such Emma. I would still like to loose a couple of pounds. I didn't put any weight on on holiday which is great news! 

Well - it only takes the once apparently Emma. So quite possible that one of the 3 or 4 times that you did it worked! I'm keeping everything crossed.

Does your DH have any predictions for when I'm going to get a BFP!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

sorry - got a bit bored!!!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - have some bubbles!   

My house is now perfectly clean (apart from a last minute dash with the vacuum to remove dog hair) and I daren't move for fear of messing it up. The viewers aren't coming until 6.

We have sleet, rain, thunder and lightning going on here at the moment (hope you are OK where you are Annie). 

Emma, xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Had a vile afternoon in the office yesterday 

Gist of it was that the Boss told me to "use my common sense" when I asked a perfectly reasonable question about something that has changed in my absence. After I left she apparently broke down to another member saying that everyone hates her, that she *might have been a bit off with some of the team, blah blah blah. So waiting to see if I get an apology today (highly unlikely) and what was said to this other team member. I'm trying to build up the confidence to confront her about it as I feel enough is enough of me being whipping girl around here - but she's a scary lady! I was well up for it last night. Went to a baby shower and had the mother to be's share of the wine aswell as my own. Amazing how confident you feel after a bottle and a half!

I'll keep you all posted!

Emma - Any joy with the house?

Polly - All packed and ready to go? I am so jealous you are going to the Maldives. I loved it there

Donna - How are you hun?*


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning!

Annie - how are things at work today?! Do you think a confrontation would help? Is she the woman who had you in tears before your holiday? I'd avoid a confrontatiopn if there is the slightest chance that she'll upset you again.
Your evening sounds good. I also drank far too much wine yesterday - I'd sort of forgotten to give up alcohol on this 2ww. 

Polly - have a wonderful holiday. It sounds like you are ready for it. I am soooooo jealous!

Donna - how are things? Any more bms?

No luck with the house. The woman yesterday didn't like it at all  I'm starting to panic now, not that that will help in the slightest. I'm hoping - perhaps naively - that you don't really get serious buyers looking around in August, but that come September things will pick up.
I don't think we're doing anything wrong. We've got neutral decor, no clutter on show, great bathroom and kitchen. Who knows.

I've been out for a spot of retail therapy this morning - books and DVDs. That's my bank holiday weekend sorted.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Lord - it gets worse Emma

Spoke to the team member that the Boss broke down to. Good old team member seems to have stuck for me well and truly. Told the Boss that she was very out of line in the way she spoke to me and that it's no wonder I'm feeling picked on. Sounds like Boss wants to apologise but doesn't know how to as i always end up crying! Slightly embarassed by that - I just go to pieces with this woman.

We do need to have it out as it seems like it's a simple communication breakdown. She get's defensive - i get upset. Generally I really like and we get on well. It just seems that whenever she feels like she's being attacked personally she goes off and one and I end up crying!

I have to get it sorted today. Can't have this dragging on to next week.

The worst part for me is that the Boss said the Deputy told her I am rude to her. I swear to you on everything I love and own that I have never been rude to her. Maybe a bit cheeky and I put my hand up to the odd sly comment - but never ever rude.

Team mate put Boss straight on that one and said it's more like the other way round.

I'm shaking and feel sick with nerves. Going to send her an e-mail now and request a chat.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, I hope it went really well this afternoon. If I get tearful about stuff I sometimes just say that I know it looks as though I'm crying, but it's something that happens when I need to talk about important stuff, and we should both ignore that and get on with the conversation in hand. It doesn't stop the tears, but it can stop the "sobbing" bit, and allows me to eventually regain control. It does work! Hope that helps.

Talk later, off to get everything waxed (tears, sobbing, screams, the lot 

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh dear Annie - what a day you're having. Would it be possible for you to both go out for a drink after work or to have lunch together next week so you could talk through your differences?
Has she replied to your email? It is ever so brave of you to take the initiative - I'm so impressed; I'd suffer in silence for months on end to avoid a scene!

Polly - are you all waxed now?! 

Donna - I think I've caught your cold. 

I've had a lovely (but not at all sexy  ) electrician round today to replace some light fittings in my kitchen. 

My broadband connection still isn't fixed, and they can't seem to tell me when it will be. It is ok in the middle of the day, for some reason, but won't work at all early in the morning or in the evening. I wish I understood things like this a bit better. I actually bought myself a computer book today. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx
p.s. bubbles all round, I think


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

Had meeting with the Boss yesterday afternoon. It was bloody hard work and rather on the intense side. As always she got on the defensive. I literally had to drag an apology out of her for the whole "use your common sense" issue. I did have to back down some what in the end. I wasn't going to get what I wanted  (huge apology, confession of being a b***ch etc!) So in the end we shook on it and decided to both make more of an effort. We shall see!

Emma - Shame the electrician was a sex God! Has the cold developed or was it just a few sniffles?

Polly - All ready?!?!?!

Donna - How are you?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Sorry I have been quiet for a few days I have been so tired that I haven't been able to move. Yesterday I was walking around work like I was drunk by the end of the day I was so tired I couldn't co-ordinate myself.

No more bms as yet! we are trying to be more relaxed but I think thats only so that if it doesn't work we have something to blame it on - we've only had sex x times etc! last few months we have done everthing in out power and still no bfp which is reallt hard to deal with so think we are just allowing oursleves something to blame it on this time!
Hopefully more bms today and tommorrow though  

Annie, good on you for talking to your boss, I really hope it helps. You boss should respect ypu more now for going and talking to her.

Emma, how are you feeling? don't let the house selling get to you to much, easy for me to say I know. Hows you cold? hope you aren't feeling rotten? 2ww sounds good   are you testing tommorrow??

Polly, are you all set? when is it you travel? monday?

Work at the moment is like a soap opera I am beginning to be confussed as to who is actualy in my care? I can't tell who the children are!

Harrrah! 4 day week next week! although like a mug I am going into work for a few hours on monday to set some rooms! off for a week the week after though yipppeeeeeeeeeeee

Talk later,

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Annie - good for you facing up to her. I hope it does the trick.
Emma, don't panic about the house it won't make any difference. I hope that it all works out soon. If the worst comes to the worst, can't you spend most of your time with DH and just come back when the estate agent needs you? Hope your cold isn't getting you down too much.

Donna, do you need to go to work on Monday? (I know I'm one to talk, Thursday was my first day of hols, and I went in at 5 o'clock and stayed til 11!) You sound as though you could do with a bit of a rest.

We are off tomorrow evening, although for once I want to get to the airport early (Sometimes I only catch planes because they are late too!), so we will probably set off mid afternoon or so. I am sewing away here like something possessed. I have a bit of cloth here that would make a nice sarong or a beach cover-up. Can't decide, although I won't cut it out until I see what time I have left. The sarong would definitely take less time!!!!!!

I had a dream the other night that the four of us met up for a meal. That was it, just the four of us in a restaurant. Something must have woken me out of it before we really got chatting.  

I seem to have ovulated right on time this month, and we managed to time the bd well, so we'll see. 

I'll pop in at least to say goodbye. I'm worried about two things while I am away - that all my staff will win the lottery, and that one of you will test postive. Neither is of course a bad thing, but it's the not knowing!

Actually I joined in the work lottery syndicate, I couldn't bear the thought of them all winning, and leaving me to do all the work. They did offer to leave the training manual where I could find it, cheeky monkeys!

Anyway

happy Saturday

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Just seen that ticker says I ovulate tommorrow, when in fact I ovulate today!or it could have been yesterday 

Polly you sound so relaxed and happy  sewing! is there no end to your talents!

I don't have to go into work, we get paid for bank holidays (only thing we do get paid for!) but I have wanted to move things about for some time as the rooms aren't set up how they should be! but can't really do it with the children there, decided to do it on monday as I'll still have the weekend off.
Only going in for a few hours in the afternoon though and another lady is coming in with me.

Donna  xxx

Polly have a fantastic holiday, how willwe survive without your good advice for 2 weeks! have a great time and hopefully your come back with a nice present


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again

Annie - well done for talking to your boss. That takes real nerve. I hope it makes a difference. Is she much different in age to you? Does she have a chip on her shoulder about something?

Polly - have a wonderful holiday, and enjoy all your new clothes! Like Donna says, I don't know how we'll all survive without your words of wisdom. Lets hope you come back with some good news for us all!  

Donna - you sound in a bad way. You must have done too much last week before you'd recovered properly. I hope you have a good rest today and tomorrow. Do you have any plans for your days off next week?

I have a sinking feeling that af is on the way. I feel quite pointlessly irritable today. I keep snapping at poor dh for no good reason, which usually happens the day before it starts.  
We'll see. 

Take care everyone,
I'll try and pop back later or tomorrow if I can get online.

Emma, xxxxxxxx

Bye for now


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

I think I am just a bit run down, the weekend is never enough time to recover from the week properly. work is always so busy to. Feel better today but still a bit tired and snappy!

I hope AF isn't on its way you have every right to be snappy with all the stress your under trying to sell your house.
Think positive     

Not sure what we are going to do as yet, hoped to go away for a few days but don't think we will have the £, maybe a few day trips if funds allow otherwise we will just have a good rest and spend some time together.

Hoping for some bms later, will have to think nice thoughts to get myself in the mood.

Catch ya later,

Donna xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Ladies

Just a quick chat because as always I'm dashing off somwhere! I'm off to a Spa today - oh la la! 

Thanks for all your encouragement with the Boss situation. I wanted the ground to open me up last night. I went out for dinner with DH, brother and his girlfriend. Happily enjoying myself and in walks the Boss's best friends. There was 4 of them. People at work and myself call them The Weather Girls - for obvious reasons. I was probably being paranoid but I'm sure they were talking about me. Probably saying what a horrible person I am and what a hard time I give their friend.  Ugh!

Emma - She is about 25 years older than me and has many many issues as a Manager. She is actually a really lovely lady and I get on really well with her usually. She was incredibly supportive when my Dad was poorly and subsequently we he passed away. I think the problem is she takes everything personally and as a Manager you need to be able to shrug these things off or you end up being miserable and paranoid. 

Hoping for a BFP for you Emma. Keeping everything crossed

Polly - Have a wonderful wonderful holiday. Can't wait to hear all about it when you get back. I promise you I won't be reporting a BFP - but I might have made progress with IUI


Donna -  I order you to relax today! ha ha ha!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

I will relax today, infact I have only just got out of bed although I have been awake since DH left for work at 9.

It was all I could do to stop myself running downstairs and coming on here last night but thought it may have been a little insensitive after BMS!
Well..... we had bms and it was very nice, I came first (which is usual as DH likes me to have come before penertration because I cant usually come when he's inside as it is still uncormfortable) When DH came quite alot leaked out so I was all paranoid that there wasn't enough up there etc etc..... SO DH suggested that I use teh vibrator to see if I could come again as this would help 'suck' the little wriggles into the right place. So thats what I did, this made DH very arosed so I decided that hay why not try again 
Round 2 was fantastic I was obviously bigger down there or something as DH slipped in without a hitch I also couldn't feel him inside me (not a reflection on DH) there was no pain and well it felt nice I can't really explain it, it was just slidding around inside and felt nice! Only problem was that I was so happy that I got the giggles   not what you really want at a crucial moment.
I t was so nice infact that I came with DH inside me somthing that neither DH or Myself had ever experienced in our lives before!
Its great 's' improves each month! I never thought I would ever being doing this and I feel on top of the world! just hope I get a BFP to go with it!

Annie, enjoy your day at the spa! you've only just come back off your hols I am very very jealous

Polly, have a greta holiday cant wait to hear all about your adventures.

Emma, any news on AF? I hope it hasn't arrived yet    

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

So bored! DH is working so ratteling around on my own. should be doing housework but thats no fun 

Hope everyone is well, Emma any news?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

OMG I am dying of boredom!

You all have really exciting lives that fill your weekends - unlike me!

Being on my own as givne me far far far to much time to think about things - ttc mainly and I know feel peeed off with the world!!!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

I'm off!!

Get pregnant while I am away!

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Have a great Time Polly, I will try my very best to get pregnant while your away! 

Emma, any news? suspense is killing me

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

At last I can get on here! No af yet, thank goodness, and I am not irritable at all today. I wonder if it was the cold rather than af that was making me grumpy. By yesterday evening I was feeling really yucky. Dh had been hinting all day that a bit of 's' might be nice, but there was no way I was going to do that. I took some paracetamol and had an early night and feel much better today. This last bit of the 2ww is driving me crazy. Af could be due tomorrow or Tuesday. I almost don't want to talk about it for fear of jinxing things, but I'll test on Thursday if af hasn't arrived by then (I fully expect it to arrive within the next hour now ).

Donna - are you less bored?! I'm not having an exciting weekend either (although Polly and Annie obviously are). I've been pottering in my garden and eating for most of the day. Dh cooked a huge roast lunch and we ate far too much; it was delicious though. Tomorrow I'm taking one of my dogs to a training class but haven't got much else planned. Your bms yesterday sounds wonderful. Wouldn't it be fantastic if Donna junior was conceived during such a memorable experience!    

Annie - how was the spa, you lucky, lucky person!
What were the odds of your boss turning up at the same restaurant. I hope she didn't totally ruin the evening.
What exciting things have you got planned for tomorrow?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma,

Dh are is home now so will hopefully be less bored and will stop thinking!
How is your cold now? I hope you feel better.
I hope AF is not on its way but know exactly what you mean abotu jinxing things, i have everything crossed for you though.

It would be fantastic if baby taylor was conceived last night but as ever not holding out much hope on that one, It is driving me mad that I don't know when I have ovulated exactly so may use OPK next month but we'll see. Not using them does take the pressure off.

Annie, how was your day you lucky lucky moooooo


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home this way ladies >>>>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=35836.0

H xx


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