# New and looking for advice and support



## bbeauty (Jan 9, 2012)

Hi, I am new to FF, and would like advice and support from those who understand our situation.

Have been married to my DH for 3.5yrs and been trying for a baby for 1yr. We have now been told he has azoospermia (secoundary fertility), as he had a child(11yrs old)  in a previous relatioship. I don't understand how one day he can have sperm and the next he dosen't, I am struggling to deal with his past and the thought that we may not be able to have a child together, but yet have the constant reminder of him having one with someone else. This must make me sound awful, but it hurts so much and I am trying not to be resentful. Is anyone else in the same situation? How are you dealing with it?

My DH has an appointment for sperm retrieval (TESA) on the 18th, please lets this be positive.....as I am not sure what our next step will be. I am almost certain he won't go down the donnar sperm route!

I hate playing the waiting game, as I am sure many of you do too.

Please advise


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## lilyisabel (Jul 21, 2011)

bbeauty. 

I'm not quite in the same situation as you as we have a child together already who was very easily conceived  we've now been trying for nearly two years and have found out that he has antibodies on his sperm that mean we can't do it naturally. Now this is causing us some confusion as we have no clue how dd got here. It could be something that happened in the past 11 years? Friends of ours have got azoospermia and have one beautiful child through icsi and another due to arrive in the next few weeks so it's not the end of the road. I can't imagine what it must be like for dh to have a child with someone else that would drive me crazy you sound as though you are handling this brilliantly. This whole journey is a waiting game I'm afraid...

 for the 18th to go well for you and that 2012 is a happy year

L x


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## Bubblicious (Jul 8, 2010)

bbeauty, like Lilyisabel, I cannot offer you advice as to how to cope as my circumstances are not the same. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.

However, I can also offer a story of hope. My BIL has azoospermia as he has a genetic disorder so he had surgical sperm retrieval. They got three sperm [!] which fertilised two eggs which resulted in one perfect baby [via their first attempt at ICSI] , my four year old nephew. This is also despite my SIL having auto-immune issues.

I would expect that your odds are better than my BIL/SIL had as your DH has fatherd before. It could be that your DH produces the regular number of normal sperm but something that has happened; perhaps an injury/illness/infection has caused blockages so the sperm is not getting through. There is always a chance of success. After all, my BIL/SIL show that all it takes is one sperm!

Wishing you lots of luck for next week .


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