# Can't stop crying



## clumsy (Apr 1, 2012)

Literally. Tears have been rolling down my face for about 7 hours now. Yet another friend announces she's pregnant. This time it's completely unplanned and she's not even in a relationship with the father and she only slept with him once! But she is happy about it and has decided she wants a baby.

She knows that I've been trying for over 2 years and am having investigations and she was very sweet in the way that she told me and she even said it was really unfair and she felt awful for me. But I still came home and sobbed my heart out and am just feeling so so miserable. I really don't know what to do with myself. It's not as though people are going to stop having babies any time soon, but I'm sure as hell not getting any better at coping with it.

I know many of you ladies have been ttc for a lot longer than 2 years, but it feels like a lifetime to me.

I hate the constant thoughts of "it's not fair" and I hate that I can't happy for friends having babies (well, not without it being tainted by jealousy and me feeling sorry for myself). This is ruining my life.


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Big  clumsy. You have every right to feel this way and it's totally normal. 

I still have tears every time someone announces a pregnancy; I was ttc for 10 years and had my baby boy almost 6 years ago and have absolutely no chance of another (nor do I want another now, even if I could). It still gets me right there. 


The best advice anyone gave me on the journey was, while your friends may be having babies around you, that's not your baby they are having. You don't want their baby, you want your own. While you're always going to be  - to an extent - jealous of the ease by which they conceive, you have no use for jealousy over the actual baby itself. 

C~x


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Clumsy,

The news never gets any easier, I TTC for 4 years and I can't tell you how many babies were born within the family and by work colleagues.

The way I dealt with it, was that it didn't matter how many women got pregnant around me, it still wouldn't change my situation, only I could do that.

Life is very unfair and I learnt that a while ago, some people are born in to wealthy families or live in mansions and have loads of money.  Some people work their guts out for peanuts and struggle financially.  Many women will get pregnant at the drop of a hat, some will struggle for years.

Have a good cry and then today is a new day.  Focus on yourself and be proactive on making your dream come true.

Chin up.


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## clumsy (Apr 1, 2012)

Thank you Caz and staceysm, it was really kind of you to reply, and that advice about how you coped is actually really helpful!

I feel much better today. I do try to stay positive, I just have a major wobble now and again! It's really lovely to be able to talk to people who can relate.

Have been lurking on this forum for ages, I think it's great.

Thanks again xx


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Clumsy  

It's such a heartbreaking feeling that the people announcing will never understand no matter how close they are to you!  

Hope you get your happy ending very soon!


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