# Life Story books



## Viva (May 16, 2005)

I've recently started thinking about life story books for our littlies, obviously I know that this should be the children's SW's responsibilty but to be honest I don't hold out any hope of anything particulary meaningful emerging although we have been given some photographs. I feel that I would like to put soemthing together for out littlies which would be meaningful and reflect the importance and significance of their lives so far whilst helping them understand. I don't really know where to start so thought maybe some of you might have done something similar or been given a life story book for your little people that you think is really good.
Any ideas or thought appreciated.
Love Viva
XXX


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

We are in a similar position of having to do our own due to lack of support from sw so wuold be interested as to how they are supposed to look.  We have lots of keepsakes and photographs but very little 'written' story other than the very factual stuff in the Form E and medical reports.  She will get a 'later life letter' from sw but that is a factual letter aimed at teenagers/young adults about the harsh facts.

I was thinking of doing a scrapbook with photos of the keepsakes (her hospital name bracelet , first babygro etc) so that they don't get trashed and putting in little bits with each page.  Our sw said we could even choose to fill in a babybook if we felt it would be better...but we don't know all the pregancy bits and I doubt foster mum will remember the date of her first smile etc.

magenta x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

we went on a course about life story books a while back..i'll see if i can dig out the stuff when i get a mo...

kj x


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Thanks KJ, it would be great if you get time, and I fully understand if you don't!
Magenta, if all the things we have been promised actually turn up, we will have a lot of similar 'memory' type things, I'd be interested in knowing how you get on!
Viva
XXX


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi

We also had to do our children's life story book and we followed the similar lines of what magenta is going to do.

Each has their own scrap book and in it are details of where they were born, how much they weighed, what time....you get the idea.  We followed this on by saying what their birth names were and a picture of them as babies( this has been harder to do for ds as we have one photo of him as a baby & on it he is 18 months old)  He is old enough now to understand why their was no "new born" picture.

Followed by this picture is a picture of their birth parents, their names and a brief very brief description of some of things we found out from them or from their SW.

For instants DS BM said he was a cheeky happy little baby & DD BM said she was a smiley baby.

A comment of they loved you very much but were unable to look after you was put underneath so that Ds & DD do not feel they are to blame for them being adopted, I hope that makes sense as to what I am trying to say. 

At this stage in both of their lives they do not need to know the full understanding of why they were adopted, this does not mean we will not tell them but it is sometimes hard to take on board at what ever age the full reason why, for obvious reasons I can not print why they were placed for adoption and the circumstances surrounding it. Some things you just can't print, I'm sure you understand.

We then have photos of when they were in FC, a brief description of who was in foster family, a photo of the foster family. Cards they received when they left the foster home. Pictures they drew when they were at FH, that kind of thing.

Then we have done a picture of us a family, a picture of when we first met and a short story of how we longed to have children in our lives and how we feel honoured to be chosen to be Ds & DD forever Mummy & Daddy.

We then have memory boxes where we store all sorts of things in them, they are huge and we have more than one in the loft!!

Memory box are ideal for storing the outfit they first came to you in, the cards you received of people who were pleased you'd got your family.

There is so much you can put in memory boxes and they are great at looking back on, I would suggest every one should do one they are great and if you are like me you'll get in a lump in your throat when you look back at how tiny they were..............finding DD small sized pink wellies set me off crying the other day!!! 

Life story books are important for our children and it is up to each individual how they wish to do it, this is just a guide line of how we did ours.

Some children want to look at their life story books all the time, DS half sibling who was adopted else where is a case of that & then their are others who just what it around to look at it when they want to & then you have my 2 who know they have them & are free to look at them any time and don' want to!!  (all the hard work!!! )

I wish you all lots of luck doing your children's life story books, I think its nicer that we as parents do them rather than SW, the job will get done quicker for starters, sorry no offence to any SW!!

Love
Andrea

PS Sorry for the long post!!!!!


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi Andrea, 
Thank you for taking the time to post in such detail about what you have done for your children (I fully understand that you can't put all the details in) it is really helpful in terms of giving me a starting point. I tend to spend quite a while thinking things through before I actually go ahead and make a start, but feel it could be really helpful for our DS to have something together prior to when he is formally adopted as it could trigger questions. We are hoping to get all the legal stuff done and dusted prior to April time when he will start big boys school and with Christmas happening as well I'm sure that that will come around in no time at all!
Love
Viva
XXX


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Viva

I hope it helped what I wrote, I think sometimes if some one gives you an idea it sets off other thoughts and ideas of your own & hopefully that's what I have done.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Andrea
Your post is very helpful, not that I need it just yet, thank you.  

We are going to a seminar type thing in 2 weeks time on Telling and Life Story which will be interesting.  

Love
OT x


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Viva thanks for starting this post as I was just about to. I had  an independant sw come out today to discuss doing our eldest's life story book. She is coming on Tuesday to start it with N and try to explain through play how and why she is here. She is getting baby photos and info from the bps and fcs although our youngest's fcs wont help her for some reason but they are very bitter about us taking what they said was their little girl. So the post is great so that I can tell her what I think should be in it to help the girls.

Thanks again K


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

The SWs did both our children's life story books but there is a vast difference between them due to their differing birth circumstances.  DS has loads of photos of birth family, DD has none, both books outline their birth family and how they came to live with us.  DH and I are bad enough at remembering to take photos so we haven't even attempted memory boxes although I think they are a lovely idea.  We have kept all the cards we received on each child's arrival and all the photos from the intros.  Like any parent we also keep their "artwork" and nursery reports.

I'm sure you will do a great job.

love
Cindy


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

I've finally dug out the stuff from the course we did (inspired by the fact littlies sw is getting littlies underway)
Viva do you still need pointers..i could photocopy it for you as theres quite a bit....

a couple of thethings i've picked up on reading through it today...

one of the main things is that the books (so our LA believe) should not be written in the first person as in 'you were born on ***' or 'you like playing****' as they dont believe its right to 'own' the childs feelings or actions...also it might be too direct an approach when reading difficult/painful bits..so they recommend writing it in the 3rd person..so 'Johnny was born on****' and 'Johnny didnt like it when BD shouted at BM'

the format should be *'present, past, present, future'* in the past life story books have often been reams and reams of the bad stuff and ending with 'and finally you were adopted' which overburdens the child with their BF's troubled history and doesnt give the adoption part a high enough profile. i quote 'the life story book should leave the child with a positive sense of who they are and with hope for the future'

so littlies book (so far) starts with stuff all about her now..what she looks like, her eye colour etc, what she likes doing, who her friends are..with lots of photos to illustrate it.then it moves on to the past.. to her birth, with as much info as poss, time of day, day of the week, weight etc, details of family members (with photos) an honest but simple account of why she was placed in foster care, who they were (more photos)...also a little line about what foster carers do..and the decision sw's made for her...then a bit about her adoption by us..and then it should end on something positive for the future..maybe something about what we think she might do when she's bigger (for an older child he/she can say what they want to be when they grow up)
amongst it all i remember the course speaker saying that they add little clip-art pictures in along the way to illustrate things... like a clock face showing the time of day they are born..or the rhyme about 'mondays child is fair of face' where it says about what day they were born, plus sad/ happy/angry faces in appropriate places
littlies book is written in adult language and its up to us to read it to her skipping the bits she wont understand (most of it at the moment lol) and gradually reading more detail of it as times goes on..she wont have the reading ability to read it herself for years so she'll take whats read to her at face value till then 

just as an aside...right now, in the absence of her finished book we have a simple photobook which serves her needs very well at the moment..same format starting with pic of her, then pics of her foster home, then pics of us and her and her new home..she seems to understand this..she says the names of the Foster family and the other day clasped the picture of them all to her chest saying 'ah pat pat' which is her loving gesture to teddies/dollies/us..very sweet 

right thats enough of my ramblings 

kj x


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

KJ, 
Thanks so much for posting this, it's really helped to clarify things in my mind. I really need to make the life book a prioroity and soon as all being well we should be getting a court date in the next few weeks and Charlie being 4 will need to understand what is going on and starting earlier with Lola will make it so much easier in the long run. If the offers still there to photocopy the stuff that you have that would be fantastic.
Viva
XXX


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