# adoption interviews and sex



## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hiya all, blush blush!

Dh and I have been through the wringer, like every one on here, and when we were going through investigations dh was diagnosed with azoospermia.  this, plus the fact he has put on a little weight (not huge at all- he is just uncomfortable with his belly) plus the discomfort from the testicular biopsy, meant that for some time we didn't hve sex- he got that "whats the point?" attitude, and also found it difficult when I was having di iui as he said he felt responsible I was going through it all.

I expect it is quite normal for that to be the case, and as my less hormonal moods improved, and time passed, we started making love again. it isn't very often though, sometimes its a week, sometimes  month.

to be honest its not a problem- although my sex drive would prefer it was every week, niether of us have hang ups about it and high days and holidays are always respected as nookie days too!

when we go through the adoption home assessment, the sw has informed us we will be asked about our sex life and attitudes to sexuality.  what do you think they will make of us? are we that unusual?

I won't lie about the details, I just wonder what they will make of us?

by the way when we do have sex, its great. Dh always manages to hit the spot, and there are no  probs at all with actually "doing the deed" 

sorry if this is all tmi- just curious as to what others think

k
x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Kylie

Don't worry, they just want to know that you have an effective relationship and that both of you are happy with your lot.  They don't make a big thing of it, just a couple of questions, but nothing that will embarass either of you and they don't need the detail!!

Karen x


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

cheers ladies,
and thanks karen, thats what common sense told meit would be, but you never know- now I am more reassured!


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## Broken Wing (Nov 24, 2004)

My reply to questions on my sex life during an adoption interview would be this:

NONE OF YOUR F-ING BUSINESS!


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hi broken,
your username and sig makes me sad 

I guess it's about what karen said, they just wanna know you are normal. as much as  my reaction to anyone else would be the same as what you said (and some- cheeky gits!!!!!) we will play the game- but I actually hope we will get on well enough with the sw to be as honest as poss.

here is the interesting (well at least to me!) thing, lately , more and more since stopping ttc, (including donor tx) our sex life has got better. its much more frequent, this time two year ago it had been months, this time a year ago it had been weeks, now if its gone  week i just jump
him!  
in fact, recently we got tickets to arsenal for the fa cup semi in cardiff. i spent 100s on the hotel. he then bought a posh meal after the match, and it was back to the very early days of night long (well, okay, 10-2) nookie, and dh had done the same since. I think, what has happened, is it took a long time for him to begin to really believe that I just fancy him for sex. not for sperm. we were kinda lucky in that respect. the second azoospermia was diagnosed, sex was only ever about us.
but still, it takes time for confidence to build back up.

I agree, your sex life, as long as it is comitted and agreed as  couple,is not important, but i feel a whole lot better about where we are now than where we were 2 years ago.    .......


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