# Boomy's Adoption Diary



## Boomy

MY ADOPTION DIARY ​
OK... where to start... 

If you would like to read how we have arrived at this point in our journey, please read the bio in my profile. 

I joined FF in October 2007, just before we were about to begin our last tx. I joined the Holiday Dreamers Cycle Buddy board (we still keep in touch as they are a great bunch of girls) and I wrote a 2ww diary. Follow the link if you would like to read it...

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=121267.0 

I found writing this 2ww diary very helpful and I think that, and all the support I received from other ladies helped me to cope with my BFN.







So when I saw there were now adoption diaries, I thought why not?  Plus I am the first one to post my story. 

Since our tx failed in December, the last couple of months have not been easy. It is difficult to accept the fact that I will never experience a pg full term and have my DH's baby.    But at the end of the day, I want a family. So that is the plan...

I rang Child, Youth and Family on January 7th 2008. I spoke to a wonderful SW who gave me a brief overview of what I could expect over the coming months. She explained that they wait until they have around 8 couples who are interested before they begin the seminars. I asked if it was possible to adopt older children, but she said that generally it is only babies as they try to place older children within their extended family.

I should point out here, that we live in New Zealand. The maori have a culture in NZ where they whangai children - this is really just placing children that are not cared for properly within the extended family, or if any unwanted pgs occur, someone in the family would adopt the baby. My DH is maori so we have always hoped that one of his nieces would get pg accidently...  but so far it hasn't happened.  

I am still scared to death that we will not end up with our much wanted family. Last year in NZ there were only 70 placements. Not many. 

Anyway the SW sent me out a one page application form, which I completed and returned the same day. On February 2nd 2008 we received the dates and times for our seminars.

*28th February 5.45pm Introductions Seminar
15th March 9am Day One Seminar
19th April 9am Day Two Seminar*

So how do I feel about all this? I'm excited and eager to find out more information.  I'm also really nervous and dreading the first seminar.  Thinking back though, this is how I felt when I was about to start my fertility tx. It's hard to take those first initial steps. 

Thanks for reading my diary. I will be back to let you know how I get on at the first seminar. 

Stay tuned...

Love Boomy xx 

Praying for a happy ending.


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## Boomy

Well bad news...  Our adoption seminar has been cancelled indefinitely.   

Our SW just rang to say that due to circumstances beyond their control (whatever that means),  they have had to cancel all planned adoption seminars. She said they will probably not be in touch with us for another couple of months.   

Even though I was a little apprehensive about the introductions seminar, I was still eager to get the ball rolling. 

So just waiting now...

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

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I'm happy again. We got a letter from CYF's this morning and the seminars are back on. New dates are:-

*Introduction Seminar 13 March
Day 1 Seminar 22 April
Day 2 Seminar 27 May*

So we have really only been put back by about a month.       

My DH is a truck driver and away from home a lot. He travels up to Auckland one day and travels back the following day. So when most people would be able to take one day off to attend a seminar, he would need 2.  A real pain in the . He had already organised time off for the introduction seminar that was supposed to be held on the 28th February, and it was too late to cancel as his employers had already got in another driver so he had the last couple of days off. With the new introduction seminar dates being only a fortnight away he didn't think he would be able to get more time off, so we discussed this with our SW and she has agreed that they will do a home visit and then we can proceed to the day seminars. They are going to ring me next week so we can organise a time when DH will be home. Very nice of them... but then it was not our fault that the previous round of seminars got canned.  

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well we are still waiting to hear when we will have our home visit. 

I rang the SW yesterday and she said they hadn't forgotten about us, and will be in touch soon with dates and times. 

I am becoming impatient. I want to start now. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

[fly]                          [/fly]

*I'm happy again.*​
Our SW rang this morning and our home visit for the Introduction Seminar is on the 18th March at 1.30pm.   

I can't wait. So now, I'm back to feeling really nervous about it all, but also really excited that something is finally happening. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

We had our first home visit yesterday. The SW is lovely. She explained the adoption process to us and left us with a pile of forms to fill out ... applications for assessment, medical reports, and police checks. She was here for over 2 hours, so it was a lot of information to take in. 
She said that in NZ there are 200 couples in the pool at the moment, and last year there were only 87 adoptions. 

I'll be honest, after she left, I did feel a bit down.  I kept thinking "God I wish that tx had worked for us and we didn't have to go through all this".  The whole process at the moment just feels so daunting, but I'm sure once we have got the forms completed, and attended the seminars, I will start feeling more positive. We just need to take things one step at a time. 

My sister rang last night to see how everything went. I had a big bawl to her.  She never had kids, so really understands what I'm going through. She had two eptopic pgs, and she could never afford to do IVF. It's good that we have each other. 

DH and I are going to sit down this weekend, and make a start on the forms. Then I'll be making an appointment with our GP for the medical checks.

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Right.

I've been thinking a lot about this adoption porcess lately. Do I want to sugar coat everything I am feeling when I write in this diary or do I want to be completely honest? I have decided to be completely honest with what I am feeling.  

The SW visit last week left me feeling pretty down. I felt as though every precaution is taken to ensure that the birth parents rights are not ignored... but what about the adoptive parents? Are we just glorified babysitters? Because that was the impression I had. 

I still have so much bitterness and anger in me that we will never have our own biological child. Every other normal woman can get pg and have a baby with no consideration as to whether they are emotionally, physically, or financially ready for that child... yet we (who have suffered with heartbreak after heartbreak in fertility tx) are going to be put under the microscope for the next few years.  Don't get me wrong, logically I understand the need for all the forms and checks... but in my heart I just feel bitter. It's not fair. 

I have an underlying fear that something will go wrong in the adoption process. That we will not be allowed to adopt for some reason. I think that because of all the disappointments we have suffered in our quest to have a child, I am just waiting for more disappointments. It is hard to believe that we will ever hear the pitter patter of little feet in our big empty house. 

And to top it all off, I am scared that if we are lucky enough to be chosen as adoptive parents, I will feel like a fraud. That I will be a wannabe mum. FF who have adopted children have told me this is not the case, but I am scared I won't feel like a real mum. 

The application forms became an obstacle for me and I only just filled them out yesterday. I kept putting it off and putting it off. I don't particularly like forms at the best of times.  But these were harder. They came to represent the fact that I was giving up the dream of having mine and DH's child and moving in a different direction. When I finally did sit down and complete them, DH and I got into a big argument over who we would choose as our referees.  He doesn't understand how I am feeling at the moment as he is a man and men don't get it. I am giving up so many dreams of having my own child and it is difficult to deal with. 

Anyway the application forms and the police checks are now completed and just need to be mailed back to CYFs. We have to drop off the medical checks to our GP today. He has said if he needs to see us, he will be in touch. So we are still moving forward. 

Now something I must confess. DH is not my DH... but my DP.  When I post on FF, I refer to him as DH because we have been together for so long and that is how I think of him anyway. The SW has said that we would need to marry to be able to adopt a child together, otherwise the child would only be adopted in one of our names, and the chances of a birth mother choosing us might not be as high as if we were married. So... after much discussion on the subject of how and when, we have decided to get married in October. It will be just the two of us, eloping to an island and marrying on the anniversary of the date we first got together. 

I think I will end on that positive note. Thanks for listening, it has helped to get it out. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Quick update...

I mailed our application forms off at the end of last week and I had to put down two referees (who were not family). I chose a friend who has known me since I was 8, and another friend who has known my DH and I since before we became a couple. Both of my referees have received eight pages of forms from CYFs asking them 101 questions about DH and myself.  I kept apologising to them for the inconvenience as I hate inflicting forms on anybody.  But they have both said that it is not a problem and that they would do anything to help us start our family. I love my friends.









Still haven't heard anything back from the GP regarding the medical checks. 

And finally, I would just like to thank those FF who PM'd me after my last post. Your words meant a lot to me. It truely does help to know we are not alone in all this.






Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Both my referees have filled out the forms and mailed them back to CYFs. They showed me what they had written and I have to say we sound like wonderful candidates for adopting.    My friends wrote some really nice things about us. 

Still no word from our GP. I hope he has at least looked at the forms. 

One week to go until the first seminar. Nervous, excited, scared, eager, worried, full of questions.... I'm a bundle of mixed emotions.  

On the wedding front, we've bought the gold bands.... so there is no going back now.   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

We have not long been home from the seminar but I just had to come on and post. It was brilliant. So much better than what I had envisioned. 

If I was not sure about adoption before, I am now. 

All the other couples were awesome. Felt great to be with others who we can relate to. 

We discussed open and closed adoption from both the birth parents and the adoptive parents perspectives. This was all a real eye opener to me as I had never really cared too much about the birth parents, but now realise that my stereotype view of them is outdated. I also had fears that I would not be able to cope with an open adoption, but I now see this as a positive step for the child. The relationship with the birth parents (like any relationship) may take time, but will evolve into something that hopefully works for all concerned. 
Today was truely a great experience. I'm over the moon and feel really positive about the steps we are taking. 

Our GP rang last week and he needs to see us to be able to complete the forms so we have made an appointment for the 8th May. At least I now know he has looked at the forms. 
It just feels like everything is now gathering speed and we are heading in the right direction. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Quick update from me as DH is home in bed with food poisoning and 'dying'.   

We were supposed to go and see our GP today so he can complete our medical checks, but as DH is sooo sick I've had to reschedule for the 22nd May. 

Our SW rang this morning, and is coming round for a visit next Thursday, just to answer any questions we may have from the first seminar. 

OK, I'd better go and rub the big baby's back.   

Love Boomy xx 

*Update:* We have got our wedding bands (engraved with the wedding date... so no turning back now  ), I've booked the Marriage Celebrant, and confirmed the accommodation. I am starting to get a wee bit excited about this wedding.


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## Boomy

Our SW came round yesterday afternoon to see if we had any questions after our first seminar. I asked her what happens after we have completed the second seminar. She said we will receive our application forms, which go into more detail about our backgrounds, family, religion etc. Once these have been completed and returned to CYFs, along with the medical checks, police checks, and references, a decision will be made on whether or not we are approved to adopt. If we are approved, we write our profile and then we are put into the pool (of about 200 adoptive parents) to await THE phone call. 

Seems amazing that we could be on the waiting list so soon. 

Her visit lasted about an hour, and we just chatted about normal everyday things. She asked about our families, our wedding plans, and we talked about her upcoming holiday to America etc etc. She is very chatty and easy to talk to but I did get  off with DH who sat on the couch like a crash test dummy and hardly said a word. I started worrying that the SW would think I was a controlling, self-centred chatterbox, and that it was only me who was keen on this whole adoption thing. I was so angry with him and gave him a huge lecture afterwards about making sure he spoke next time.    Men... why do they do this sort of thing?

Even though I think the meeting went ok, I did feel that she was watching us and judging us the whole time. And I must admit, I hate this part of it.  I try and be myself but it is so hard sometimes as I want to make a good impression... Because to a certain degree, she holds our future happiness in her hand. 

Love Boomy xx 

*Update:* Our wedding bands arrived at the beginning of the week and they are gorgeous. I can't wait until October to start wearing mine.  I had a meeting with a dressmaker yesterday, but the quote she gave me was totally out of our budget, so I am going to go shopping with my girlfriend next week and see what we can find.


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## Boomy

Have been feeling really down this morning... 

I had a dream last night that is still playing on my mind.  I dreamed I was doing more fertility tx and was at the clinic about to do a pee stick. In the dream, my AF had arrived so I knew that the result would be negative. Anyway, I peed on the stick and put it aside. Glancing at it, I then told the nurse "See I told you it would be two lines". She gave me the stick back and said "Two lines means you are pg hunny". I cannot describe the joy I felt. I felt so deleriously happy, that even though I was starting to wake up, I kept trying to force myself to go back to the dream and feel that happiness again.

Now I'm just feeling sad.... I will never feel that happiness.    Life is just so unfair. I want a baby so much I cannot believe it. With hard work and perseverence I have always managed to achieve everything I want in life. But the one thing I want so much, I can never have. I would give everything else up to have my own baby. I look at my DH, and I think that he is just such a wonderful man and would make an incredible father and it seems so cruel that we will not have our own mini-me's. As much as I want this for me, I want it for him more.  

My dad died when I was six, and my mum passed away when I was 19. I have three half-sisters and a half-brother who are a lot older than me. We are close and think of each other as full siblings. But I want my own family. I am tired of feeling alone.   

The old  is a week late (my AF is always irregular), and even though logically I know that the chance of us getting pg naturally is 0%, I still have hopes that a miraculous conception will occur.  Every month that my AF is late, I still can't help but get my hopes up. Will this agony ever end?   

Sorry for all my pity talk. After years of experiencing the pain of IF, I know that I am just having a bad day and it will pass. As my mother used to say, "better out, than in". I think she was referring to burping after a large meal, but I will use her quote in reference to my feelings.   

Anyway, GP appointment this arvo... I'll let you know how we get on... and hopefully I'll be feeling a bit happier by then.

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

We had a consultation with the GP on Thursday. He has been my DH's GP since DH was born. I changed to him about eight years ago and had never actually been to see him. He seemed ok, but you know what doctors are like... why do you always feel so rushed?  He completed our medical checks. Mine was perfect, the only hiccup with DH's one is the fact that is dad is diabetic and possibly an alcholic.   

Anyway, that's all done now.  So next step is the second seminar on Tuesday. 

Right, just a small rant before I sign off. My MIL invited me to a parenting seminar.    Is she crazy or just being mean?  It's bad enough when strangers ask if I have any children and I have to answer no... but to attend a parenting seminar where people are going to assume that I _have_ children and ask me how many? What on earth was she thinking?  Insensitive or what?  I just could not believe it.  

Love Boomy xx 

*Update:* I went shopping with my girlfriend yesterday to try and find a dress to get married in. Had no luck.    Even though I love to shop, I hate it when you come home with absolutely nothing to show for it.    I did like one dress, but was not 100% sold on the colour, and as my friend kept telling me I HAVE TO LOVE THE DRESS.  So after much deliberation , I decided against it and am pleased I did as I think my friend is right. She has been a real trooper and said we will just have to keep shopping and going out to lunch together until I find the perfect dress.


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## Boomy

Well we've just got home from the second seminar. And once again we thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Compared to the first seminar, there was more interaction and group discussion and the time seemed to fly. The main topic in the morning was the adopted child/adolescent/adult and then in the afternoon the SW discussed profiles and placements.

Once again, I have left there feeling very excited and happy that we are doing the right thing. 

The other couples are so nice, and it has been amazing to talk with people who have experienced similar obstacles to us. We all exchanged email addresses so it will be interesting to see if we keep in touch.

The SW gave us all an application form to fill in which goes into greater detail about our family, extended family, education, income etc. Hoping to make a start on this in the next few days. Looks like it will be quite time consuming to complete.  Nothing is private for us anymore. 

I'll let you know when we've done it... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

*Our Application for Assessment to adopt is officially completed and in the post.* 

We had to write a bit of an essay about ourselves separately and then as a couple. We had a guideline to follow, so that all aspects of our life were included.

I had mine done the day after the second seminar. 

Yesterday, DH and I sat down and completed his bit. He dictated as I typed. This was not easy as the SW had said to make sure each person completed their own, in their own words so that they could get a feel for each of us. It was very hard for me not to chip in and tell DH what to write or how to word it.    But we got there in the end, after a couple of arguments when I felt DH was not being totally honest.  At times, he seemed to put down what he wished his life was like, rather than how it truely is. Hey, it is what it is.  I couldn't actually keep my mouth shut at those times as I want our forms to be completely honest and reflect who we are.  But... all done now. 

I had to laugh... I read somewhere that they say women use twice as many words as men. We have absolutely proven this with our applications and I think the SW will see we have definitely written our own. I ramble on for a couple of pages and my DH was struggling to fill a page.   

So we are back to waiting again... waiting for a phone call from the SW to tell us that our application has been received and to arrange a time for another home visit. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Our SW rang this morning. She is coming around next Tuesday, the 17th of June to follow up on our Application for Assessment to adopt. What a mouthful...   

I'm actually getting more and more nervous the further we go along in this journey. I'm so scared that we will not be approved to adopt and we will never, ever get our family.  This is our last chance at happiness... and even if we are approved, there is still no guarantee that we will become parents. 

Logically, I know there is really no reason why we wouldn't be approved, but there is this crazy little voice in the back of my head preparing me for disappointment.  I think part of me expects this journey to end the same way as all our fertility tx ended... in heartbreak. 

Crazy or what? 

Onwards and upwards... I'll let you know how the SW visit goes next week.   

Love Boomy xx 

*Update:* We have written our wedding vows...

We are eloping to an island so will have no family or friends present. But we have included DH's parents in the vows, by saying that they have been married for over 40 years and DH wants to follow in their footsteps.  We also included my mum who died when I was 19, by saying that she would be very proud of the man I have chosen. 

DH is maori and he has written a verse in maori to bless the rings. 

I love the vows we have written and can't wait until October to say them...


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## Boomy

We had our home visit with the SW today and it went really well. She was here for over 2 hours, just asking us questions about ourselves, our family, friends, beliefs, lifestyle etc etc etc. And it really went really well, I think.

DH contributed a lot more this time and I feel that she got to see us as who we really are... two people who love each other, who have built a strong foundation together and now desperately want a child to love. 









At the end of the interview, I asked her if she saw any problems with our application and she said *she saw no reason why we would not be approved to adopt a child. * 
[fly]

















































[/fly]

Next step, she completes her report... and if her boss okays it... we will be approved to adopt.
























































































































Love Boomy xx 
PS... Can you tell that I'm feeling a little bit happy today?


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## Boomy

Still no news on the adoption front...  

*Update:* ...but I've found the dress!!

I went shopping with my girlfriend yesterday. We had an excellent day. Everything went so well and we found heaps of bargains.   

The dress is beautiful, I love it. It is a deep purple/wine colour with black lace. The top is quite fitted to the waist, and then falls to a beautiful skirt with an uneven hem. I have got a little shrug to wear with it (I hate my arms ). And I have also got a gorgeous pearl and diamond brooch that belonged to my mum which I am going to wear to do up the shrug at the front. Just need new shoes.   

O and the best part..... THE DRESS WAS HALF PRICE.   

I am so happy. I am a very organised type of person and I hated not knowing what I would be wearing on the big day. This is a load off my mind, one more thing to check off the list.   

Something old... the brooch
Something new... the whole outfit
Something blue... a garter that my sister bought for me
Just need something borrowed... gonna have to drop some hints to my friends...   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

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Well, I just went out to the mailbox and there was a letter from our SW. Guess what? *WE HAVE BEEN APPROVED TO ADOPT*.....
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I have just rung my DH and my sister to tell them the news. I'm so happy, and they are both thrilled to bits. DH and I have decided we will go out for dinner next weekend to celebrate.

It is so nice to have something to celebrate for once.

Next step, we start writing our profile... and then... we will be in the adoptive parents pool.
[fly]

















































[/fly]

I'm so happy, I can't stop smiling...​
                                     ​
Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well I haven't been able to wipe the stupid grin off my face. I'm just so happy that things seem to be looking up for us at the moment. 

I was reading some of the  diaries this morning. One of the girls is bleeding a little, so she is now on constant 'knicker watch'. (Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.)   But for the first time I thought to myself... "gee I _don't_ miss that feeling anymore"... you know, that feeling of constant dread. Since we stopped tx, I still have had times when I wished I could do 'just one more' and sometimes I've actually felt envious of those on their 2WW.  But it is starting to get easier to put it all behind us now.

      ​
Having reached this new milestone of being told that we can adopt just feels amazing and it is something that cannot be taken away from us. In our experience, tx has always been something that eventually ended in disappointment. A rollercoaster is an excellent way of describing it. Your emotions are all over the place. If it wasn't bad enough pumping huge amounts of hormones throughout your system, just the up and down journey alone is enough to send you over the edge.

You've been for a scan and have heaps of follicles 
You may have to stop tx as you are over-stimulated 
You've made it to EC and collected 16 eggs 
You wait 24 hours for the embrologist's phone call 
Of the 16 eggs, 14 were injected 
But only 4 have divided 
The following day's phone call tells you all embies are doing well 
ET is scheduled 
You arrive for ET and 2 top grade embies are to be transferred 
The remaining embies are no good for freezing 
You have two embies on board 
You spend 2 weeks in constant worry 
You are convinced you have morning sickness 
You start bleeding 
It stops 
You are on knicker watch 
You do a HPT and it is negative 
You go for a blood test through the clinic and the levels are 20 
You pray for a miracle 
You have another BT and the levels have dropped to 5, it is all over.   

Sound familiar? Yes, I definitely do not miss tx. 

There is still no guarantee that we will have a family, but I feel we are definitely on the right path. I don't know if I have explained how adoption in New Zealand works... but here goes. We write our profile, which gives an indication of who we are individually and as a couple, our beliefs, our families etc etc etc. We include photos and anything that helps to show who we are. These profiles go into a pool of prospective adoptive parents. When a birth mother decides she wants to adopt out her baby, the SW asks her for her main criteria when choosing parents for her baby... it may be where they are located, their religion, whether they have kids or not etc. Probably half a dozen profiles of prospective adoptive parents who meet this criteria are then shown to the birth mother and she reads through them and comes to a decision. She may choose parents for her baby based on something that is really important to her such as religion and how the child would be raised in that religion. Or she may choose a couple based on something relatively silly such as one of the adoptive parents sharing the same birth date as someone in her family or the fact that they support the same sports team. It is really a bit of a lottery as to whether we will be picked or not. Some couples are in the pool for a matter of months, while some wait for years.

Please let us be the couple who only have to wait months.       

Right, I've rattled on enough. My DH has next week off work so we are hoping to make a start on the profile. I'm quite looking forward to it... going through photos and putting it together.  

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Quick update from me... 

We are about half way through completing our profile. It took us about two weeks to make a start on it,  but we are ploughing through it now. 

So far, we've written about ourselves separately, what our childhood was like, our families, our education and employment. We've included heaps of pictures. And it is looking really professional [pat on the back], even if I do say so myself. 

The final part will be about us as a couple and how we met, what our relationship is like, our lifestyle, home and neighbourhood. 

I'll let you know when it is finally finished. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

DH and I finished our Adoption Profile on Sunday. And I think it looks fantastic. 

We finished the final section by writing about our relationship, our lifestyle, our home/neighbourhood and our views on parenting. On the last page, I wrote a paragraph about DH and he did the same about me. He wrote some really nice things about me. He said I was his best friend, and that I was born to be a mum. Bless him, I do love him to bits. 

So, we posted it off to our SW yesterday for proof reading. I can't wait to hear what she thinks about it. Hopefully she will think we've done a good job. 

It's strange, because part of me didn't want to post it.  I'm so scared it won't be good enough and I keep wanting to try and improve it. So much is riding on this profile. I just want it to be perfect. 

Love Boomy xx 

*Update:* OMG, I have bought the most amazing shoes for my wedding. They are smokin' hot and I love them sooooo much. They are super high stilettos, quite strappy, and with a diamond buckle on the ankle strap. They look really hot on. Only problem is that I might sink into the sand when I'm wearing them, so will need to tippy toe... but who cares when they look as good as they do?? Have told DH he will have to carry me around the beach.


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## Boomy

We have heard back from our SW. She and her boss both said that they thought we did a great job on our profile.

There were a couple of changes that we had to make but that was easily fixed. We had also forgotten to include our views on open adoption and ongoing contact with the birthparents, so we wrote another couple of paragraphs covering all this. 

Our SW also sent us a pile of forms to fill in, and I must admit they looked a bit daunting to start with as there were some very thought provoking questions...  These were just to name a few, they actually went on for seven pages...

_Would you consider a child with heart disease?
Would you consider a blind child?
Would you consider twins or siblings?
Would you consider a child with downs syndrome?
Would you consider a child that came from a background of drug or alcohol abuse?
Would you consider a child who was the result of rape or incest?_

It is all very well to tick 'yes, yes, yes' because we want a child so much, but it is not as easy as that. Although the child is innocent of the birthparents crimes (so to speak), when we open our home to a child, we could also be opening our home to the birthparents. So the forms were at times, quite difficult. 

DH and I only had one major disagreement, which we managed to negotiate our way through. Thanks Dr Phil.  

Anyhoo, the forms are now all completed and will be posted tomorrow. We then wait for a confirmation letter from our SW to say that we are in the adoptive parents pool... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

​
Our SW has just confirmed that we are now in the waiting pool of adoptive parents, which means our profile will be show to people who are considering placing a child for adoption.

[fly][/fly]

Love Boomy xx 

Please God, if you are listening... please let it mean a child for us this time.


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## Boomy

Well I'm having a bad day... 

Stupid me, decided to surf the net. I found a website similar to this one (but obviously not as good) that was based in NZ. There was a thread about NZ adoptions so I decided to be nosey. Wish I hadn't. 

God, the chances of us adopting a baby in NZ are slim to nothing. There were a few 'miracle' stories on the thread but it honestly seemed I would have more chance of winning the lottery than adopting a baby. I've been so happy the last few weeks, what with being approved, completing our profile and now being added into the waiting pool... but I've now been brought back to reality with a huge jolt. As I read through all the posts, I could just feel my heart sinking with the realisation that even though we are in the pool, we may still never have a family. There is one woman who has been waiting for 2 years without even one phone call. 

I didn't realise how much I've been pinning all my hopes on adopting. This is our last chance, we can't afford any more tx. And even if we could, I don't think I could put myself through it again. Why is this so hard for us? We want our own family so much and I know we would be great parents... God I've just about watched every parenting program there is from Supernanny to Nanny 911. 

I don't want to be one of those bitter women who begrudge others their pg's and I feel like that is what I'm turning into. I just want it to be me. I just want my own baby. I just want my own family... why is that too much to ask for? I keep asking myself what did we ever do that was so wrong that we _can't_ have our own family? 

I'm trying to tell myself that what will be, will be. If it is meant to happen, it will. But what if it's not meant to happen? What then? 

Right, I'm off to try and pick myself up, wipe away my tears and carry on as usual. I'm so sick of having to keep up a brave face, when inside my heart is aching for a family of my own.

Love Boomy xx 

Please God, please let there be someone out there who reads our profile and chooses us.


----------



## Boomy

Just a quick post to thank everyone for their PMs of support. It really does help when things get too much. 

I'm feeling much better now (thank God). I think I just hit a small speedbump. I've come to the realisation that one website it hardly a fair representation of the population of New Zealand. 

So I'm trying hard to keep up my PMA and be grateful that we have got this far. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

No news on the adoption front, and there probably won't be for months...  Don't worry I'm still trying to keep up my PMA... I did say 'months' and not 'years'. 

*Update:* We have got our marriage licence. 

But I must say I was not prepared for the customs-like interrogation at the Courthouse.  I had assumed that it would be like the local court in our little town... WRONG!! While the security officer searched through my handbag, I had to go through a metal detector with my hands held above my head. Alarms started going off due to the zips on my boots! Scarey...

Anyway, once I got in there it was all smooth sailing. I swore that I knew of no lawful impediment why DF and I could not be married, signed my name on the dotted line and paid the fee. We picked the licence up three days later. 

We will be married in less than a month. All of a sudden the time has started to fly. Lucky I'm organised. 

Love Boomy xx 

PS. And I haven't got wet feet yet.    DF meant to ask me if I had cold feet about getting married, but he said "have you got wet feet?". Bless him.


----------



## Boomy

*Update:*

[fly]   _I've turned into a crazy indecisive bridezilla!_   [/fly]

I rang a hair salon last week and even though the woman quoted me $150 to do my hair on my wedding day, I still booked it.  I then worried about it all night... $150 for a hairdo, I just couldn't justify spending that sort of money! Rang another salon the following day and she quoted me $50. And even though the woman sounded very vacant on the phone and not very up-to-date, I booked it.  *What the hell is wrong with me?*  Soooo... I cancelled my previous $150 appointment and then worried about the $50 appointment being a disaster.  Decided to ring around other salons on the island, but had no luck. Eventually I came across a place who have done lots of wedding hairstyles and would charge me $100.  I figured this was my best option as I don't want to end up in tears over hair on October 10th!!  Soooo, I had to ring back the vacant lady and cancel that appointment too. The hairdressers on the island will be glad to see the back of me I think.  Never mind, I feel happy that I have done the right thing. I'm getting my hair coloured and will wear it down in a windswept, beachy look.

But the next dilemna was the dress.  Remember I told you weeks ago that I had bought a dress - purple, with black lace. After a sleepless night of tossing and turning and thinking things over, I came to the decision that I didn't 'love' it and didn't want to get married in black.  *I know, what the hell is wrong with me... make a decision woman!*  Sooooo.... I emailed my best friend and to cut a looonngg story short where my friend said I was driving her crazy... she came round with her old wedding gown. The dress is silk, with pearl buttons down the back, detailing all over the bodice and off-the-shoulder sleeves. Amazingly it fits perfectly.  But the most important thing is that I feel like a bride wearing it.  Soooo... I have taken it to the drycleaners today and now have to go shopping again for more shoes (darn shame that). 

I'm having a 'hens lunch' with my closest friends and family in three weeks.  I sent out homemade invitations a couple of weeks ago. We are all meeting at a local cafe for lunch and drinks and then whoever wants to can come back to my place for beers, wine and cocktails.







Should be a good night, I always have a good time with my friends.







Just hope they can all make it.

I feel really happy now and am looking forward to the big day. I think I'm 'at peace' with all my decisions at this point... but hey, knowing me that could all change by next week.  

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

*Update:*

Well I am now officially Mrs Boomy.









And it feels great to be married. I didn't think it would make much difference, but I feel very contented at the moment. 







I had my hens night on the 4th of October and it was great. We went to a local cafe for lunch and then came back to my place for a bit of a party. I had cleaned out the garage during the week and it was all set up with a table & chairs and the stereo.

Us girls all had a great time talking crap, singing along to corny songs and getting drunker and drunker. I had a ball.









The only downside was that one of my friends never turned up and when I texted her, she did not even reply to my text. I have left it at that, if she wants to contact me, she knows where I am... the ball is in her court now. But it was a bit disappointing to think she couldn't even come round and have a drink with me to celebrate the end of my single life. 

*List of presents*:
Marriage Certificate Holder
Teatowels
Honey Do Whistle
A bottle of kahlua
Framed embroidery of our names and marriage date
Tiny book of family photographs to take with me to the Island
Wooden Photo Album with our names and wedding date engraved on the front
Wooden Recipe Book
Cute little wooden Rolling Pin
Wedding Wine Glass
Bride & Groom Shot Glasses

My head was a bit sore on the Sunday, and I didn't stray too far from the couch... but it was well worth it. I had a great time. 

We left on the 9th and drove for about 8 hours to the Ferry Terminal. Caught the 3pm ferry to the Island and checked into our Motel. It was gorgeous... the view from our deck and upstairs bedroom was spectacular as it overlooked the beach we had chosen to marry on.

We spent the morning of our wedding day having a look around the shops. I ordered a beautiful little posy of flowers and got my hair done in the afternoon. I arrived at the salon at 2pm, only to be told I was not scheduled in for that time but for 2.45pm.  Luckily one of the guys was not busy and he said he'd fit me in. I think with all my making and cancelling of appointments I must have got confused.   Never mind, the hair turned out great! I spent an hour at the motel just chilling with my DF and having a wine. Then we started getting ready. The celebrant arrived around 5.30pm. Her and her husband took heaps of photos at the motel and then we drove down to the beach. The ceremony was lovely. I cried.  My mum died when I was 19 and I had included in the vows a moment to think of her, as she would be proud of the man I had chosen to marry. I knew I'd get tears in my eyes for that bit.  We exchanged rings, said our vows and DF kissed his bride. We then took some more photos before signing the marriage licence. 

It was so special, relaxing and just a great way to marry. I'm so happy we decided to marry by ourselves, as I don't think it could have been better.  The Marriage Celebrant was wonderful, more of a wedding planner than a celebrant. She even gave us a small present, a glass cube with a picture of the beach where we married. And when we ran into her and her husband the next day at the Local Market, she said that if we ever wanted to come back to the Island for a holiday, we were more than welcome to stay with them for a few days. Nice eh?

The rest of our honeymoon just flew. We have got some great memories. And since we have been married, we haven't argued once!  

Love Mrs Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well... I just about had a coronry yesterday. The phone rang and it was our SW. I thought "OMG, I can't believe it.... she has got a baby for us!" Should have known we would not be that lucky.  She had rung to congratulate us on our marriage and to remind me to update our profile now we are the Boomy's! 

AARRRGGHHH!! She really shouldn't ring us if she doesn't have a baby for us!   I couldn't help but get my hopes up for a second there. 

But on a positive note... we've settle into married life and it is great. I highly recommend it! 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Our SW has just rung, and this time... *she may have a baby for us!* A 12 week old baby girl. 

The BM has read our profile and would like to meet us, so we are in the process of organising time off work and arranging a day and a time.

I'm still in an absolute state of shock. I just can't believe that this may be happening. I'm trying desperately not to get my hopes up, as anything can happen. But I just can't help myself, I keep picturing a baby in our home this Christmas. 

Please God, let the BM choose us. 

Love Boomy xx 

*WATCH THIS SPACE*...


----------



## Boomy

Well it has been absolute chaos in the Boomy household! I spent yesterday booking tickets, organising accommodation, meeting with solicitors and packing bags. Not to mention all the last minute things that crop up.

We leave in an hour. We meet our (fingers crossed) DD on Friday morning, and will be spending all weekend with her at her caregiver's house, learning everything there is to know about her and bonding with her. We meet with the BM's SW and a Health Provider on Monday. Then hopefully we meet the BM on Tuesday to discuss contact and any other stipulations she might have. If everything goes well and baby responds well to us, we may get the contracts signed on Thursday and could bring baby home with us on Friday! 

I still can't believe this is actually happening... and so fast. I'm praying that nothing will go wrong. So far everything seems to be falling in to place and just seems to good to be true! Please let it continue like this. Please don't let the BM change her mind. She has not actually even seen her baby, who has been with the caregiver since her birth, so it sounds as though the BM is pretty adamant about adopting her out. 

So in about a week's time we could be a mum and dad! 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well we are back at home, but without our little girl. 

Here's a brief outline of the events up until now.

We met our DD on Friday the 7th of November. She is a gorgeous, happy, content little baby. She wakes up in her cot with big stretches and adorable smiles. She is such a good baby, and only really cries when she is hungry or tired. We spent just over a week bonding with her, lots of cuddles, feeding, playing and rocking her to sleep. We took her for walks into town and to the park. It was wonderful, we felt like a family. 

Her foster family are absolutely incredible. They welcomed us into their family and made us feel right at home. I cannot tell you how wonderful the FM is. I've read a few horror stories about FMs, but this one is amazing, so loving and caring, she felt like a mum to me. She was a huge support to both of us and for this we will always be grateful. She referred to us as baby's mum and dad the whole time we were there. When she first put baby in my arms, it was amazing.  FM had been telling baby all morning to "look sharp as she would be meeting her mum and dad soon". 

Things started to turn pearshaped on Monday the 10th of November. The SW came to the foster home to meet with us and told us that the BM had disappeared and they had been unable to contact her. We were devastated as we had hoped to have all the paperwork completed by Thursday and be bringing baby home on Friday. I think the BM was probably feeling a lot of pressure from the SW's to see us and meet her baby prior to the consents being signed. She is also under pressure from her family to keep the baby within the family. This must have all got too much for her and she took off. 

Anyway, after a lot of talking, DH and I decided the best thing would be for us to return home as he had to get back to work and life had to go on. The SW's said that this would not reflect badly on us, as they understood that we had dropped everything to come down and could not just sit around at the FC's house, waiting for the BM to return. They said they would contact the BM as soon as she returned and try to ease some of the pressure off her so that the consents could be signed and we could come back down and pick up our daughter. 

We came home on the 15th November. I was bawling my eyes out saying goodbye to baby. It was heartbreaking. 

I had to laugh at my DH though. The night before we left to come home, we had put baby to bed around 6.30pm and she was really tired. An hour later, my DH said "Lets get that girl up! We're not going to see her for awhile... we may as well make the most of the time left with her now!". Can you see who is going to be the strict parent, and who is the big softie?  Needless to say, I did not let him wake her up! 

We've been home now for nearly a week, and this waiting is driving me crazy! If you thought the 2ww was bad, believe me, it ain't got nothing on this. 

I have been in touch with SW's on a daily basis but they do not seem to be going out of their way to make this a priority. They still have not talked personally to the BM, but have managed to make contact with a friend of hers. This friend is pretty sure that the BM has been to the lawyers and got baby's birth certificate. She is going to try and catch up with the BM to see if she can organise a meeting between her and the SW's. 

It's killing me, all this waiting... but I just have to take one day at a time and hope each day brings more news. 

The FM and I have been ringing each other daily with any updates. The FM got in a bit of a dig at the SW's yesterday. A SW rang FM to see how baby was doing. FM said "baby is fine, but it's just a shame that her parents are missing out on her".  I love the FM. Isn't she a star?  She put baby on the phone today to talk to me. There was a lot of gooing and gaaing, and then she started to fill her nappy! 

So at this stage, I will continue to sit by the phone and pray that the BM signs the consents asap. Then we will be jumping on the plane to bring our little girl home. 

Love Boomy xx


----------



## Boomy

Still no more news really. The SW's do not seem to be making this a priority. And the waiting is driving me crazy. 

SW's have still not spoken with the BM, but they have talked to the BM's mum, BM's friend and BM's lawyers. BM's friend has said that the BM is still keen to proceed with the adoption and with the couple she had chosen (us). So I guess that is the main thing, just have to remain patient. 

FM rings us all the time and puts baby on the phone to chat to me.  Yesterday FM said that baby has changed so much, we won't recognise her.  She can roll over on her own now. And we are missing all this. 

I wish the SW's would get that act together and make things happen. I would like our baby girl home before Christmas.  I've bought her a cute little 'My First Christmas' stretch n grow with a matching santa hat. I'm praying I get to dress her in it. 

It's so hard to know what to buy. I'm scared if I get too far ahead of myself with buying things that everything will turn pearshaped and I will be left with a room full of reminders.  But on the other hand, I want to be organised for the day we get the phone call that she is ours. 

Love Boomy xx 

[Sitting here waiting for the phone to ring]


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## Boomy

Well we have been home for nearly two weeks now. I had hoped our little girl would be home with us too, but sadly that is still not the case. 

The good news is that the SW has now spoken personally with the BM and they have arranged a meeting for today. I'm praying that the BM will show up. 

The BM said she was having a hard time with things and needed to get away to sort herself out, but is much better now. She told the SW that she still wants to move forward with the adoption and with us. She was actually worried that _we_ may have changed our mind!   

So providing all goes well at this meeting today, the next step will be for the BM to go to her lawyers and have the consents drawn up. I just hope the BM will say she is going to do this, and actually do it. What she says, and what she actually does seem to be two different things. 

I've been a bit naughty and have done a bit of shopping.  We've now got the pram, a bouncer and a play mat/gym thingy. DH's mum had bought us a portacot that we were going to use, but we've got a more solid cot now that we will assemble in the weekend. We are pretty much all organised for her arrival. I just need to buy a few more bottles and bits and pieces, like nappies and baby wash etc. I also need to find out what type of formula she is on and stock up on that. 

So, I'm still sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring and praying that the SW will have some positive news for us. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well the BM never turned up to the meeting with the SWs yesterday... but who cares because she did something even better, she went straight to the lawyers.    She must be as sick of the SWs as we are. 

I had not expected any more news today, as our lawyer is in court all day. But an hour ago she rang me to say that she has been in touch with the BM's lawyer. The consents have been drawn up and they are hoping that the BM will sign them this afternoon.      

So once again, I'm just waiting for that phone call. I had thought I was organised, but now that it might finally be happening, I'm in a bit of a panic. It's gonna be a chaotic couple of days if we get some good news this afternoon!  

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Our lawyer never rang back yesterday afternoon, so I am presuming that the BM did _not_ turn up to sign the consents. 

Never mind, I'm trying to look on the bright side of life (Pollyanna)... this will be our last weekend as a couple. This time next week we will have our DD home with us.   

Gonna spend the next couple of days getting the house sorted and then do a bit of retail therapy. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Still no news. I am sick and tired of waiting for the phone to ring. 

I've left a message on the SW's phone this morning, just in case she has heard anything... but so far, she hasn't returned my phone call.  

I'm trying hard to have some compassion for the BM, but how hard is it to pop into the lawyers and sign a bit of paper.  She does not want her baby, she has never even seen her.  

On the positive side of things, we achieved everything we set out to do in the weekend.  I'm all organised now and just need to arrange flights as soon as we get the go-ahead. We've stacked away a pile of firewood, put up the cot, got a carseat, stocked up on formula and nappies, bought some more bottles, cleaned the pram etc etc... I'm all good to go, just need my darling wee baby. 

I've been busy knitting her some gorgeous little booties. How cute are these?  









On Sunday I went shopping and got her her own Christmas ornament (this will become a Boomy family tradition with a photo being taken of DD hanging it on the tree every year).  I also bought her a Santa Key to put out for Father Christmas when she is a bit older and her own Santa Stocking (that is currently hanging on her cot). 

Please God if you're listening... don't let this all turn to custard. Please let us have our DD for Christmas.   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Our lawyer rang at lunch time to say the consents have been signed and faxed through... but now there is some legal hold up with the CYFs department.  I have spoken with our SW and everyone concerned is having a conference call in the morning to sort things out. Hopefully we will know more after that. 

OMG will this nightmare ever end?   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

I can't believe I am _finally_ getting to post this...

Our flights are booked... we are bringing home our little girl this Saturday.  

This Saturday, little Charlotte Faye will be tucked up in her own cot at her mum and dad's house. I still just can't quite believe this is happening. I need to keep pinching myself. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

I'm still walking on air.       

I've hardly slept... I'm just too excited. 

The FM rang last night for a chat. She put our DD on the phone. I told her that her mum and dad were coming to pick her up this Saturday. She didn't have much to say for herself... just a lot of growling. FM said she is going through a growling stage at the moment.   

The FM told me that the SW's are _still _ trying to get the BM to meet us and her baby. I honestly don't believe this will happen. The BM has had over 3 months to make contact with bubs, but hasn't. She had every opportunity to meet with us last time we were there, but instead chose to disappear for a week. So, I really can't see it happening. She just seems to want to move on. Maybe in the future she may choose to make contact... we will see... 

I've been busy getting all those last minute things organised, so we're all ready for an early start tomorrow morning. I've just sterilised all her bottles and filled them with boiled water, ready for the formula. And I'm now going to attempt to put her carseat in the car, so we're not standing at the airport tomorrow looking like idiots.   One thing I have learned over the last few weeks is that baby equipment is not as easy as it looks. I spent about half an hour trying to fold down the pram... and this was after I had been shown how to do it.   

This time tomorrow I will be cuddling my little girl again. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

*Will you look at what we got under the Tree this year*...








_This is what the FM did for us when we arrived. We walked into their lounge and found this lovely surprise under their tree.  _

Had a tiring but fabulous day yesterday bringing our little girl home. She was an absolute star on the plane. All the other babies were screaming their heads off, but not our wee girl. The stewardesses all thought she was gorgeous and wanted cuddles. We were the proudest parents. 

She was very tired by the time we got home so we had a bit of a job settling her. But it was so nice sitting by her cot in her new home watching her sleep. 

We are taking her round to meet her grandparents today. Just waiting for her to wake up. 

I don't think I've ever been happier.   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Charlotte is settling in well to her new home. She has her bath and goes to bed around 6.30pm-7pm and sleeps through until around 1am. She has a bottle and nappy change and then goes straight back down and sleeps until around 8am. During the day she is awake for a couple of hours at a time, and then off to bed for a catnap. I was worrying that she was getting too much sleep, but have been told that this is normal. I probably just wish she was awake more, so I can have more cuddles. 

I can't believe just how much I love her already. When we gave up fertility tx, I used to feel down sometimes that I would never see what our biological child would look like. I worried that if we were lucky enough to adopt, that the baby would not feel like ours. But she does. She is definitely ours. It was all meant to be, I'm sure! I still can't quite believe how lucky we are. 

We took Charlotte to the lawyers yesterday to sign all the adoption papers... now we are just waiting for a court date. It probably won't be until after Christmas. Then we took her to our medical centre to arrange for her information to be transferred.

She has met her nanny and koro (granddad). Nanny spent an afternoon with us, giving her lots of cuddles. Today she is meeting my sister and niece... it is so nice showing her off. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well Charlotte has been with us now for about two weeks. Everything is going well, apart from the fact that she has started teething so has been a little unsettled lately.

We have had our SW visit and she was very happy to see Charlotte so happy in her new home. We have also had a 'well child' nurse visit twice. She is wonderful and is going to be a huge support to us. She does all Charlotte's health checks and immunisations in our home until the age of five. She is a wealth of knowledge and has already helped me heaps. 

It's only a few days away until Christmas and I still can't believe we will be celebrating it this year with a LO in the house. I don't know how many years I have waited for this. 

I'm still pinching myself. I truely did not believe we would ever be this blessed, after all the years of failed fertility tx. Posting on the adoption threads became hard for me as I believed that everyone else would get their families and we would never be that lucky. And as happy as I was for people who were matched to their children, I couldn't help but feel a wee bit jealous and sad that it would never happen for us. I continued to read the stories, but could just not bring myself to post. I truley did not have a lot of hope and faith. Some people have been in the adoption pool in NZ for over two years, without even a phone call. I saw us as being that couple, waiting and waiting for a call that would never come. 

But we have been truely blessed, and I will be eternally grateful to the BM for giving us the greatest gift in the world. 

For all others like me who saw no light at the end of a very dark tunnel, I pray that all your dreams come true... mine certainly have.  We all deserve to be mothers. We have all waited a very long time. Too long. 

Merry Christmas to you all!   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

2008 is drawing to a close and what a year it has been for the Boomy Household.    We began our adoption journey in January and by the end of the year we had our DD in our home. And to top it off, my DP finally made an honest woman of me after eleven years of living in sin.   

Charlotte is really starting to settle in well now. I have noticed the change in her as she has become more and more comfortable to her new surroundings. She loves to sit in her rocker and talk 'baby talk'. She loves music and especially enjoys bath-time when we sing all her favourites... like "Rubberducky" and "Rock DJ".  She doesn't even seem to mind if I don't know the words and just make them up as I'm going along. 

Our new kitten, "Winston Peters" (he is named after a NZ politician) arrived on Christmas Eve. He is a little terror. The Boomy Household is now complete chaos compared to this time last year. DH can't wait to go to work to escape the madhouse!!   

I know I keep harping on about how lucky we have been to get Charlotte. But I just have to add... we got a newsletter from our SW that they send out every year to people in the adoption pool, and we were the only placement for the year. So do you see what I mean when I say the chance of an adoption happening in New Zealand is like winning the lottery. We have been so lucky I cannot believe it. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

The weeks are just flying by now. I have never been so busy. It's hard work looking after two babies... Charlotte and Winston Peters!   

Charlotte is definitely settled into her new home. It's almost as if she's been here forever now. Winston Peters had a small accident last week and had to visit the vet. The front door slammed on his left paw. He was hopping around the house on three feet for a day so we took him to the vet as he really wasn't his usual terrorist self. Once he got to the vet the little sh1t started putting weight on it!  Anyway, the vet thought it was probably just badly sprained and gave us some painkillers for him. Didn't calm him down any unfortunately! 

He and Charlotte are great mates... they play on the mat with all her toys... here she is trying to shove Winston out of the way so SHE can have a go...







Our SW and a maori elder came round last week. They are still trying to gather information about Charlotte's background and ancestry in case she wants to learn more in the future, but the BM does not seem to be very forthcoming.  We continue with SW visits for approximately 6 months, and hopefully by then we will have a court date, and Charlotte will legally become ours! 

Our tamariki ora nurse came round last week to give Charlotte her 5 month check and will be back this Thursday to do the dreaded jabs. I'm not looking forward to Thursday. 

We bought a new car on Friday. We had been driving round in a two door Suzuki. I had been relegated to the cheap seats as it was just too hard getting her car seat in and out of the back seat. But we now have a four door Holden Commodore and I'm back in my rightful spot! 

And that is pretty much life for us at the moment.... I'm really enjoying being a mother. It can be hard some days when she is crying for no apparent reason, but overall she is a happy, content wee thing. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Just wanted to update my diary and say that there is pretty much nothing to say...   

Life is fantastic in the Boomy Household.   

Charlotte was an absolute star for her 5 month jabs. Two little cries and then back to her usual happy self. Her mother on the other hand was a bit of a mess. 

She celebrated her 6 month birthday on Valentines Day by staying overnight at her Nanni's place. They went to a Kapa Haka concert and then a BBQ at her Aunty's. Charlotte is usually in bed by 6.30 -7pm , but little miss nosey stayed up until 10pm with Nanni. She was absolutely wrecked for the next couple of days, trying to catch up on sleep. 

She is very mobile now, sitting up and crawling/dragging herself around the lounge. Her and Winston love playing together. The other day I was up and down all day separating them. Finally I had enough and told them "Fine, play together but one of you is going to get hurt"....... It was Winston. She grabbed him and sucked on his ear... poor thing was saturated!   

She had a bit of a milestone last week... her first visit to the pub!     There was everyone thinking her grandfather would be the first one to take her to the pub (he's a bit of a drinker ), but no... it was her own mother.  I called in to see a friend of mine who works behind the bar, so we sat outside in the Garden Bar and had a drink. 

DH is back on line haul so away a lot of the time. In fact we really only see him on Tuesday and Thursday for a couple of hours in the afternoon. He is missing us like crazy. I feel like a solo mum.   

We still stay in close contact with the FM. I send her photos, videos and news of Charlotte. She even sends parcels for missy and has just finished knitting her a cardy for winter. They were such a loving family and it is great to still have that contact with her. 

Haven't heard from the SW for awhile so must be due for another visit soon. Just waiting to hear back on court dates etc. 

And that's about it... Charlotte has just made my world complete. I can't believe how much I love her.   

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

After just telling my diary that we must be due for a SW visit, our SW rang the following day and popped round in the afternoon. It was all really informal, just a chat about day to day life over a coffee really. Charlotte was an absolute star. It's like she knew this was the SW and was on her best behaviour. She played quietly on the floor with her toys, went for a bit of a crawl around the room, sucked on the SW's toes and didn't grizzle at all... bless her. 

Then this morning we got a court date in the mail. We have to be at the judge's chambers on the 16th March. Our lawyer rang to say that all going well, everything could be finalized on this date as quite often the judge will complete the final order. Fingers crossed... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Unfortunately things didn't go quite to plan at our court date on Monday. We were granted an interrum order rather than a final order.  The reason for this was due to the fact that we had a visiting judge rather than the usual family court judge. Our lawyer said that the usual judge quite often doesn't muck around and just grants the final order there and then.... but this new fella did everything by the book. Typical, just our luck to get a stickler for the law! 

So we were kind of disappointed, but still trying to look on the bright side of things. It just means we have to wait another 6 months for the final order. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well things are chugging along in the Boomy household... 

Charlotte is now nearly 9 months and into everything. That little girl doesn't sit still for a minute. The only 'cuddles time' I get with her is just before bed when she is all tuckered out and will actually sit on my knee for ten minutes (if I'm lucky).  When I do get a chance for cuddles, it is bliss... she just sinks into me and it is the best feeling in the world. 

She is growing up too fast and is already just about walking. She shuffles along behind her walker. She pulls herself up on everything she can find. And is the nosiest baby you have ever met. She has now cut three teeth... the bottom ones were painful for her, but her first top one just seems to have popped through. She is starting to babble away in some foreign language about nothing... still haven't heard mama or dada yet... but can't wait for that day.  And she loves her kitten... poor Winston however has a permanent kink in his tail from her grabbing it and sucking it (sometimes I'm just not fast enough).  

_Charlotte and Winston watching The Night Garden..._









 Charlotte has now been living with us longer than she did with her foster parents. Although, sometimes it feels like she has been with us forever, I can't remember what it felt like to just be a couple anymore.  Gone are the days of just jumping in the car, spur of the moment. Now it takes hours to prepare for a trip anywhere, and the boot is full of prams, bags etc. And I love it. 

We've got another SW visit next Wednesday. O and it will be my first Mothers Day on Sunday... can't wait... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

I had the best Mothers Day yesterday. 

Charlotte (aka DH) got me a gorgeous Ane Si Dora Charm Bracelet with three charms - little pink love hearts, a big silver love heart and a pram. I love it and now every year Charlotte will be able to buy me a new charm on Mothers Day.  I also got a big teddy bear and a box of choccies.  Spoilt eh? 

DH then watched Charlotte for a couple of hours in the afternoon, while I laid in bed and read my book... a real treat. 

Only downside was that Charlotte is cutting her fourth tooth and was not a happy camper. She had a miserable night, poor wee thing. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

The SW visit on Wednesday went well. SW stayed for a couple of hours and we just chatted over coffee. Charlotte (as usual) pulled out the charm, but as soon as the SW left she screamed the house down for her lunch. When that girl wants to eat you had better hop to...   

So there'll probably be nothing to report until September when our lawyers will draw up the final order and then fingers crossed, she'll be all ours. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Charlotte's first word was 'mama'.  A word that I never thought would be said to me. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well it is Charlotte's first birthday tomorrow... where has the time gone?  To mark the occasion, missy started walking yesterday. I was so excited I was screaming down the phone to DH "she's doing it!"    She looks so cute toddling over to her toy box. 

We've got a big party planned for Saturday, family, whanau and friends, heaps of food, cake, balloons and presents. Can't wait...

Hopefully this time next month she will be legally all ours.  Although in our hearts, she already is. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Time for a quick update.

Charlotte's first birthday party went off without a hitch. She was spoilt rotten by the family. I can't believe how many presents she got, our lounge looks like a kindergarton now!    The party was a lot of fun, great to catch up with everyone. I even made a cake... and while it did not look the best, it tasted delich! 

So... tomorrow our SW is coming for her last visit and then next week our lawyers will submit the final order and it will be all done and dusted. 

One thing I have noticed since getting Charlotte is how normal I now feel.  We spent five years on this ttc lark, and found ourselves hiding away from the rest of the world as it was a lot easier than facing people and trying to explain why we were still childless.   Since we've had Charlotte, we've gone back out into the real world. Just simple little things like a work dinner or family party, going to watch a local rugby game... we've started doing all this again and I can't tell you how great it feels. Before, it was just too hard. 

Right... next time I post, hopefully I'll be telling you all that Charlotte is finally legally ours. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Our final SW visit went well. Charlotte has taken a real shine to the SWer over the last few months, and I think she will miss those visits. 

SWer is still trying to find out information about the BM, but no luck so far.  She said she will give it one more attempt before the final order is granted. TBH, I'm not holding out much hope. The BM has never been interested in Charlotte, so I can't see her being very forthcoming now. 

I think the most we can expect to get may be a link to Charlotte's maternal grandfather, but we shall see... 

Anyhoo, the lawyers should submit the final order this Thursday. If I have not heard from them by Thursday next week, I'm going to ring and make sure it has all been done. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

DH and I went to the lawyers today to sign the final forms. Fingers crossed the final order will go through next week. We're nearly there... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Well... a couple of weeks have passed since we went to the lawyers and we still haven't heard anything.  I think we are supposed to receive the final order in the mail.  I've been rushing out to the letterbox everyday but nothing so far... hope nothing has gone wrong... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

We received the Final Order in the mail this morning. Charlotte Faye is legally all ours almost a year after we first met her.   

Now to apply for her birth certificate... 

Love Boomy xx 

PS I just want to thank everybody on FF for their support and advice over the last couple of years. We've finally got there... who would have thunk it eh?


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## Boomy

If applying for a birth certificate was a rigmorole, what on earth is it going to be like dealing with the tax department? 

I rang the Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths about a week after the final order went through. They were no help whatsoever.  Told me to ring the courthouse.  After ringing both of our local courthouses, I still had no idea what to do.   Decided to ring the Registrar again and finally got someone helpful. She told me that the final order had been received by them but without a signature.    So... it had to be refaxed to the courthouse to be signed before they could go any further. She even said that they would ring me once it had all been done. Very helpful. 

About a week after that we got the go-ahead to say everything had been completed and we could send in an application for Charlotte's birth certificate... which me being the organised wee soul I am, did the following day. So now we're just waiting for it to arrive. 

Next step... and one I'm dreading... the Tax Department... 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Charlotte's birth certificate has just arrived by courier. I got tears in my eyes when I looked at it.  It had our names on it as if we had been her natural birth parents. 

We are now legally responsible to feed, educate and clothe her for the rest of our lives.   

Right, off to ring the tax department... wish me luck! I think I'm gonna need it! 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

After all my dread about dealing with the tax department, so far so good.  Have been down today to drop off the application for her IRD number, along with 2 forms of ID for me and one for Charlotte, plus our marriage licence... and there were no hiccups whatsoever!  I'm not gonna speak to soon, as it could all turn to custard. 

The woman there said we should receive Charlotte's IRD number within 10 working days. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Dealing with the tax department was (amazingly) surprisingly easy.   Charlotte's IRD number arrived in the mail this morning. I rang the tax department straight away, and after a game of musical phones got a really helpful guy. He sorted out our family support for the coming year and then put us through to another woman who worked out what we were entitled to for the last year. All very easy...   I then emailed the FM with Charlotte's IRD number and to wish her a 'Merry Christmas from the Boomy's' in terms of her now finally receiving a payment for Charlotte.   

So we're all done and dusted. 

Charlotte turned 15 months on Saturday. She is into everything at the moment. Full on... and I do mean FULL ON!  Poor Winston (the kitten) is constantly getting bullied and body splashed by madam.  She is such a happy wee girl. I love hearing her laugh. She follows me around like a puppy dog, watching and taking everything in. She is learning so fast and is very smart... although she doesn't listen when she is told 'no' or 'don't touch'.  The tantrums have already started when she doesn't get what she wants, but they don't last for long.  So.... all good basically. 

As I type this she is playing ball with Winston and giggling at him. Magical sounds. 

Love Boomy xx


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## Boomy

Wow it's been over three years since I posted in here! 

Life has had it's ups and downs in that time. 

Everything with Charlotte is absolutely wonderful.  She is such a happy, caring wee thing. She has been going to kindy for the last couple of years and loves it there. This August she starts school!  Where has the time gone? Just seems like yesterday I was holding my darling wee baby, and soon she is going to be a big school kid! 

So that was the up and now for the down. DH was diagnosed with some major heart problems two years ago.    His first symptom was a headache! I forced him to go to the doctors, they ran some tests and ended up hospitalizing him.  After even more tests, they discovered that his aortic heart valve needed replacing, and that he also had sarcoidosis of the lung. So we spent my 40th birthday at a hospital where he underwent open heart surgery.    His recovery has been incredible and he is back to full health now, but it has been an incredible strain and worry over these last two years.  Something like this happening really makes you appreciate your loved ones.  I totally try not to sweat the small stuff now. 

Anyway, I really just popped back here because we have just told Charlotte she is adopted.  I had wanted to tell her after her 4th birthday but it took me a few months to pluck up the courage as I was so scared everything was going to change and she would start pulling out the "Well you're not my real mum" card.  I guess that day will come one day, but it was so nice to know that we told her and everything remained the same. 

DH, Charlotte and I curled up in our bed with a book called "Tell me again about the night I was born".  After I finished reading it to her, we told her her story. We told her how we got the phone call to say there was a baby girl waiting for us, how we drove down to her FM's house and met her, how we gave her her bottles, took her for walks, rocked her to sleep, and then when it was time for us to bring her home we all hopped on a big plane and flew home." And her reaction to this, 'Brrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmm I'm a big plane!!' Zippo, zilch, nada, nothing, all my stress and worry and procrastination and she didn't care at all.   
She has definitely taken it all in though because the following day, she was looking at our digital photo album, and she said "Look mum, there's you giving my first bottle when I was just a baby and you met me".  

So that is a load off 

Love Boomy xx


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