# Ivf seen as a 'safety net' coming up on The Wright Show



## pumpkin1975 (Dec 4, 2013)

IVF seen as a 'safety net?'
Discuss.


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## bailey434 (Jan 23, 2014)

In what sense? As in saving eggs early in your 20's to use later on in life? Or something else?
x


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## pumpkin1975 (Dec 4, 2013)

They were saying on the show that women put off having kids because they know ivf is there when they are older!

However, we all know ivf is not as effective in your late thirties/ forties as your twenties. No one would choose ivf as a preferred choice would they?


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## Magnusi (Nov 28, 2011)

I do think it fell a bit flat. They seemed to looking for a new angle, but the discussion came back to how poor the odds are and how it shouldn't be taken lightly. But who knows- I am 38 now. Maybe it would have been a contingency plan for me, if I had been born a generation later.

I wish they would lead a discussion on how the UK clinics are profiteering so much from the growing market!
xxx


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## pumpkin1975 (Dec 4, 2013)

Yes that would be an interesting discussion! The real cost of ivf, not just to wallets but to relationships.


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## Roygbiv (Feb 23, 2013)

I do think this is a point!
When we were at college a friend and I would talk. And she actually thought she had a plan sorted. She would say she'd do this and that in her career, then travel, then find a husband. Failing that she'd just use a sperm donor. She would say it like it was just easy. Today, she's in the travelling part of the plan. 
I think those out of the loop think IVF is a guarantee. So it's easy to think of it as your back up. Which is a bit of a slap for those of us who need it, so it's our first plan.


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

I began trying for my first child whilst on honeymoon at the age of 24 - nothing happened for 3 years so we went to our gp, we were dismissed as 'young, fit and healthy' I almost gave up and became pregnant naturally at 36.  Sadly the pregnancy resulted in miscarriage....my previously undiagnosed fibroids had been blamed for our years of infertility and miscarriage.... but my hubby had his own issues too - none of which were checked or investigated by the nhs until I had gone through major surgery and had another year and a half wait.  We 'eventually went through icsi when I was 39.

I purposely DIDNT pursue a career, as I always thought next month I could be pregnant - so it really does annoy the hell outta me, when practically every infertile woman is tarnished with putting their careers first.
Just shows how utterly out of touch these programme researchers actually are.

sheila


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## spudlin (Nov 12, 2012)

This kind of stuff annoys me too  

People always presume I either didn't want children or that as I am a nurse, my career came first.

What a load of rubbish  . The reality is, I was in a going nowhere relationship from 20-27. Then I met my gorgeous hubby at 30, but still tainted from my non committal ex I never pushed the talk of children through fear of scaring him away. He never brought it up cos he presumed it was something I would bring up when I wanted it!!!

So between my insecurities and his lovely caring nature, we were almost 7 years into our relationship and 1 year married, before we actually had the conversation!!

Then after a year of trying our GP referred us to NHS doc and I had a year of clomid last year without a single bfp  

Now we are considered too old for NHS IVF and have had one failed private cycle.

I'm sure lots of us in this position would love some hindsight or to turn back the clock and do things differently if possible. But to have assumptions made about us is hurtful and listening to people talk about IVF as a guarantee also makes me mad as I am an example, along with many others, that it doesn't always work.

Maybe the general public should be made to read all our stories and then they may not be quite so flippant with their comments.

I tell all my younger friends, "don't overplan your future and wait too long to try for a baby". Ironically I spent my 20's and 30's on the pill, trying not to get pregnant, stupidly presuming that once I stopped birth control it would happen


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I don't know anyone that has talked about using IVF as a fallback, a failsafe go-to so they can enjoy other pursuits (be it work or travel) and 'have it all'. But I do know friends that are putting off having children so that they are in their ideal place when they do eventually start trying, not knowing that they might have more money and more of a career behind them in five years but that it could be too late.

Shows like that ignore the fact that many (most?) couples undergoing IVF treatment aren't 'old'. I was 26 when I was diagnosed with blocked and damaged tubes. That diagnosis would have been the same at 26, 36 or 46. IVF isn't a safety net for most of us, it's the only way, whatever our age.


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