# First IVF failed 😢



## caz_lady_jones (Nov 3, 2014)

Hi all, 
This is my first time posting here but wanted to speak and get advise from people who are going through the same as me and my partner.
We completed our first ivf treatment and waited the dreaded 2ww for our pregnancy test to find out that it was negative 😢 me and my partner have been together for 6 years and pretty much been trying since we have been together. I had over-active thyroid which was quite high and I was taking medication for and took a while for me to be get tho 'ok' that this had gone back to normal. We finally decided to go to the drs at the end of January this year and after tests and scans ect they advised there was nothing wrong with either of us.
I was happy to hear that I was ovulating, my womb, ovaries ect were normal and my partners sperm was normal so they put us in the 'unexplained infertility' and put us forward for IVF.
We went through the process everything went great with all the meds everything was doing what it was meant to be doing, they retrieved 9 eggs, used 6 and 5 fertilised and they done a day 3 transfer which they transferred 2 eggs (which I was a little shocked about as they never mentioned that they wasn't good quality and the fact that I'm only 29) I thought they would only be transferring 1? Now after our negative pregnancy test I feel like a failure, it feels as if it's never going to happen and I'm never going to be a mummy 😢 I feel bad for my partner as I feel it's my fault?! he is very supportive and was just as upset as me when we seen the test he has been nothing but a gem throught the whole process so supportive towards me and loving it makes me want nothing more than a family with him. We have decided that we will try again it's just hard to deal with. I know everyone who is going through the same is probably feeling the same as we are, is there anyone who can let me know how they dealt with it? Any advise? would be nice to chat to people going through this as we have no one close to who have experienced the same.


----------



## Tummytime (Feb 2, 2012)

Hi hun didn't want to read and run but wanted to send you a massive hug and say you are certainly not a failure.  It takes an average of 3 cycles for ivf to work and not many fall pregnant the first time. It will work and your cycle seems to have gone very smoothly so there is no reason whatsoever why it won't work next time. Big hugs and stay positive xxx


----------



## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Hey honey, sending you a hug - A BFN is so hard  

We managed to get a little holiday after our first BFN (in fact after our second and our miscarriage too!) and although treats don't make up for it, it is nice to spend time together as a couple doing nice stuff that isn't revolving around appointments and scans and injections. We always have a break and then have a review and agree to put the IVF on the back burner whilst we are waiting for a review. 

We couldn't really afford the holidays, but actually used the IVF money we had saved up for our next fresh cycle! It has meant we haven't got each other birthday/christmas presents since, and we will have to save up for a bit longer now, but it's been totally worth it! I'm sure everyone has their own "thing" for what they like to do (walks, meals, movies etc) I think it's just a case of finding yours.

Please don't blame yourself honey, although I think it's probably a natural part of the BFN grieving process.

Sending you loads of love  

Xxx


----------



## caz_lady_jones (Nov 3, 2014)

Thank you for responding, it's nice to have advise and hear from people who have been through the same. We have moved house the last couple of days so that has helped alot with dealing with this but earlier my partner popped out and I sat down and I just burst into tiers it was the first thing i thought of and the last 2 days creeped up on me! My partner came in and just knew straight away what was wrong and just hugged me! I thought that I had dealt with it quite well up until that point, now I just down in the dumps and keep thinking 'why this hasn't happened' 
We received a call from the hospital yesterday and yheynadcised if we decide to go ahead with the ivf again I have to have 3 menstral cycles before I can do it again so it will be January before we can try again.
I most definite want to try again but I think I'd be even more nervous for the outcome!! Xx


----------



## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I think that 3 month break will do you good honey. Plus IVF and moving = a whole load of nasty stress!

I hope you can have some fun for a bit now. Eat some bad food, have some lazy lie in, have a loads of lovely date nights. If you need to cry then cry, and don't be afraid to talk to your partner.

Loads of gentle hugs  

Xxx


----------

