# Unexplained infertility



## Cat3185 (Oct 1, 2015)

Just needing to off load as I'm feeling a little down at the moment. After several years of ttc, investigations showed unexplained infertility. We have just finished our first cycle of ivf but ended in a bfn. Everything went to plan but the little embies didn't stick. We went away for the weekend to keep our mind off things and I took a few days off work following that. I convinced myself that I needed to be strong and stay positive, it was our first cycle and it wasn't the end of the road. I returned to work, still felt emotional but kept the positivity flowing when people asked how I was doing. This weekend a friend announced she was pregnant, I was honestly really happy for her and I am for for anyone announcing their pregnancy knowing they don't need to go through this horrible process. But it just kills me inside at the same time,  wondering what is wrong with me?! Why can't I get pregnant as easy as everyone else?! Why do I have to go through all this stress and heartache?! I'm starting to think I'm not coping with the process and maybe I should take some time off work. But at the same time think I need to get on with things, look to the future and think positively. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions. I don't know if having a diagnosis or reason would ease the pain any more. I'm so frustrated, wish I had answers for the unknown. If anyone else is experiencing similar feelings, I would love to hear from you. Just to know I'm not alone in my thoughts 😊


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## Perkins2 (Feb 27, 2016)

Hi Cat, like you we have unexplained fertility. It's so frustrating not knowing what's wrong because you don't know how to fix it. To make the process even harder I've never had any Frosties following either of my ivf cycles, so it's been game over fairly quickly. I've literally tried everything I can for it to work - reflexology, acupuncture, various nutrients. 
Every year me & my OH say this will be the year we have kids, but it never happens. I feel completely stuck in limbo land whilst everyone gets on with their lives around me. A few of my friends have had their third child. 
It can feel a lonely place when you can't get pregnant. When I meet up with friends 80 percent of the conversation is about their children. I was in a meeting the other day & there was a great long conversation before it started about how people discipline their kids. I ended up scrutinising the agenda for about twenty minutes as I had zero to contribute.
One of my friends told me to have a good break after this last round of ivf, but how do you have a break from unexplained fertility?! When in the back of your mind every month is the thought that you might just conceive naturally. Every month I think I'm not going to fall into the trap of symptom spotting but then I'll be late a few days or I'll get a completely different feeling & im dragged back into hoping again. 
Work can be really hard when you're going through this but at the same time it's been my saviour - giving me something else to concentrate on. I would definitely say try to stick with going to work. 
If you're struggling with you emotions I know a lot of people find counselling helps.
I've got my follow up appointment in April to discuss what they could do different next time. To be honest at the moment I don't feel I can cope with a next time but I'll see what the consultant has to say. 
I know there will be plenty of people on here to tell you to be positive but sometimes it's good to have a rant & say this is actually really [email protected]"! & not fair! Xx


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## Cat3185 (Oct 1, 2015)

Thanks so much for your reply perkins! It's good to know I'm not the only one with these feelings and I relate to everything you say. We haven't got a date for a follow up appointment as yet, but the clinic is closing so we have to transfer, which adds more stress and waiting! To be honest I don't see the point in a follow up appointment, I mean what are they going to tell me other than the obvious. I've never been pregnant and that's more of a worry. I'm starting to think is it ever going to happen or is it actually possible for us. 
Like you I've had reflexology with a lady who specialises in IVF, she is really knowledgable about the process and I feel it's helped me to be less of a stress head during the treatment. Definitely feel like I need a break from the Ivf train, we have a holiday planned in May and a friends wedding in August so hopefully after that I will feel ready to try again. But like you, it will be in the back of my mind hoping to conceiving naturally! Becoming pregnant becomes your whole focus no matter how much you try and block it out. With the constant reminder from others around you that your not "normal", asking when your going to have kids? Do you want kids? For me it's been easier being open about our struggles. I don't think IVF is talked about enough, especially when you see how many people go through it. But I know everyone deals with it in their own way. 
As difficult as it is you can't give up hope yet Perkins. Have you looked into the immunology tests? Are you nhs or private? xx


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## Perkins2 (Feb 27, 2016)

My first go was nhs & my second go was private. That did add to the overall stress as it was a pain trying to get my records from the hospital to give to the clinic. In the end half of them were missing so we ended up having to pay to have some tests again. During the first consultation at the private clinic we asked about the immunology tests. Our doctor was a bit dissmisive about it even tho the clinic had done a presentation about it at an event we'd gone to. He said that 95 percent of the time it's the embryo that's at fault and not the environment it's going into. He also said it's an expensive test (about £1500) and wouldn't recommend it unless I'd had recurrent miscarriage or implantation failure with top grade blastocytes. I felt quite disappointed to be honest as I was hoping to find a cause through the test. I've seen some info on sperm fragmentation tests so I might ask about that. Even though they test the quality they don't see if it fragments. Although I'm thinking that if my clinic has failed to mention this test so far it's probably another test that is very unlikely to show anything. 
Like you I've been very open with my fertility issues. I think it's easier to talk about when there isn't a male factor so you're not having to cover for your OH. You are open to daft comments tho - I've had 'I know someone who did IVF & they got pregnant as soon as they stopped trying' from a number of people. One friend the other day said to me her midwife told her that some couples just aren't compatible. I actually felt quite insulted by that and asked her for the scientific proof to back that up. I also love the people who tell you what you need to do to get pregnant, like I don't know & haven't googled every position known to man to see what works! 
My reflexologist also specialises in fertility & it does feel like a counselling session when I go which helps. 
Anyway better head off to work as I'm really late! Xx


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## Anuh (Jul 2, 2015)

Dear Cat and Perkins

Your not alone like u i also fell into that box of unexplained infertility and I started this journey when i was younger. Four failed ivf I decided to throw everything at it starting with Acupunture reflexology etc etc... I was glad i met my acupunturist the tome i did as she said i can actually figure out why i am unable to conceive and why the four failed. That was the first time i was told that. I had two nhs failed cycles two private both said to me bad luck may be egg quality etc etc...

So i took a small break and consulted with Dr Trevor wing within 6 months with a blood test he realised it was my immunes which was stopping me from getting my bfp.

I was reffered to see Dr Gorgy who treated my immunes and i got my first bfp fifth icsi cycle. Unfortunately baby was too ill passed on at 14.5 weeks in december. Since the decided to take another break till after summer and managed to naturally get pregnant. First time ever after having unprotected sex for over 15 years so i do think this Dr Gorgy knows his stuff.

I dont know if this is the way you want to proceed but i wish someone told me at my first failed cycle about this dr coz i wasted too many years.

Theres a few sites for u if u want to check it
http://www.fertility-academy.co.uk/recurrent-failure/

Also a chat on ff 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=342841.0

Best of luck

/links


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## Caz15 (May 23, 2015)

Hello everyone, just a quickie before I leave for work... I would recommend the DNA fragmentation test. My first two clinics only did the standard analysis and said numbers were a little low but what he did have was good quality. Our current clinic (Serum in Athens) recommended the fragmentation test which showed v low quality and v high fragmentation and this may well explain our problems (no natural pregnancy either).  DP is now on a 40 day course of antibiotics and various vitamins and supplements as the clinic is confident this will help. I wish we'd known about it years ago. The clinics in the UK don't tend to do much investigative work into the cause but there's always a cause, despite the unexplained diagnosis.

Good luck. 

Caz x

Ps congrats on the scan Anuh  x


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## Cat3185 (Oct 1, 2015)

Thanks Caz and Anuh for the information. I will definitely look into this further  x


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