# Having a tearful day



## Pumpkin mummy (Nov 2, 2013)

Our LO came home 4 months ago, he is wonderful and such a happy chap.

I spent a lovely day with him today (like I do every day!) but today took him out to lunch just the two of us (he's 17 months), we giggled, went for a walk, came home and played some more.

Since he went to bed I've become really tearful,it's been the thoughts of what he might have had if he wasn't taken into care at birth, and I feel like it quite a bit just lately.

He is becoming a lot more affectionate to me in the past few weeks and looks for reassurance at toddler groups etc.

Do you think this is now signs of a secure attachment?


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

It sounds like he's definitely getting there - and of course so are you - which brings up lots of feelings. My daughter is 16 months and has been home almost 5 months, and I've definitely gone through a lot of different thought processes with it. When we hit 3 months we definitely saw a change and could say a firm bond was in place. As time goes on, it just gets stronger. Sometimes I still feel I've not fully bonded with her, but on my side, not hers. X


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Hi Pumpkin Mummy, that's really lovely to read, and it sounds like you're doing really well with your little man.  It is such an emotional process and sometimes it hits you out the blue when things are going well, I think.  

While not what most want to hear, it is unlikely at four months in that he (or any child) will have formed a secure attachment to his new Mummy, but it certainly sounds like he is getting there and has a good bond to you.  It takes a long time for a child to attach to a new Mummy, and longer for that attachment to be secure, but it sounds like things are going as well as they can.  Every wonderful day you have together, enjoying each other and being there for him, will cement that attachment and make it more secure.  

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## Pumpkin mummy (Nov 2, 2013)

Thankyou both, I really feel like I have turned a corner and not feeling like I am looking after a friends child which was my first feelings when he came to us.

I love him more and more each day and feel a more relaxed mummy and feel that I am getting somewhere.


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

i used to feel these pull -on- my- heart type feelings where i just used to almost gasp with the love that i felt, it used to take my breath away and i would fill up with tears   Those moments told me we were getting there..both of us..they took longer than i thought with DD, around the 6 month mark..sooner with DS..more like 4 months..and actually I still get them now, every now and again..and I get esp emotional at this time of year when I am buying little pressies and surprises for them in the shops  


kj x


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Totally get that Keemjay. 

My big 'I'm a real Mummy' moment was when my son hurt himself and I was the only one who could console him -the magic 'mummy makes it better'.


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