# OE child and then DE



## its the hope that hurts (Mar 19, 2014)

Hi

I am moving to DE, we have a OE child who's 5y.

Moving to DE has been quite a big deal.  But it feels like the quickest best way to have a baby, as age gap is getting bigger and we are getting older.  Still feel sad about it the though of being pregnant is exciting.  I spent quite long on the donor sibling registry US site last night, made me feel worse but better today.  I know the UK DCN site is a bit nicer to be on!  

Still not 100% there with DE, did anyone else feel like that?  It's mainly my OE child, feeling out it when older when his DE sib/s have all these donor half siblings, which he doesn't share (we will be telling the baby\my son about being DE).

How have people with OE and DE children found this?

tHANKS


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## Mimiloulou (Nov 12, 2009)

I have an OE child and DE sibling (now 1 years old).  My OE child (now 8 years old) is over the moon to have a sibling.  He doesn't know the full story yet, just that mummy and daddy went to a doctor to get help to have a baby.  We will tell him and his DE sibling when we think the time is right.  Seeing how happy he is to have a little sister makes me certain we did the right thing.  I think there will be challenges when they are older and working out some of these issues for themselves.  They will both feel a bit different from one another but it makes them both special and unique.  I think with the right attitude from parents it shouldn't be a problem.  We haven't told anyone yet apart from a couple of close friends.  This is because I don't want people putting their foot in it before I have told my older child.  I think we will continue to be selective about who we tell in the short term.

The benefit for your older child of having a sibling to grow up with should far outweigh any concerns about not having lots of DE half siblings.


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## Mrs. Munchkin (May 10, 2017)

I'm in the same boat struggling with the notion of de after oe child ... worried about the de child feeling less part of the family and also there would be a 6 year gap between the first child and second wonder whether it's too big a gap to benefit the older child . Thank you for sharing it's so reassuring to hear a positive experience.


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## beachbaby (Jan 31, 2008)

Hi ladies, cannot help with the OE DE, however regarding the concern about the age gap. My Hubby and his brother are 14 years apart (not from lack of trying) and my hubby absolutely loved having a baby brother, he doted on him. He was only 6 when we got together so he has been very spoilt. Funnily enough he married a lady who had a 12 and 14 year gap between her older siblings too and they are very close also.


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