# PRE-TTC PREPARATION - Where to start?



## Pisces34 (Aug 23, 2009)

Hi All

My partner and I have been talking alot more about having child, recently this topic has become more specific and so have the timings!

Is there a basic thread which goes through the basic choices you have as a lesbian couple? People you should see, checks you should go through in advance, waiting lists? Costs?

I know certainly I have to loose some weight judging by some of the IVF articles I have read - would we even need IVF? What other steps are there? I don't even know if I _can_ physcially still have children and that in itself needs to be considered since my DP and I plan that I would carry the child.

There is much to plan and consider and I am not sure where to start in order to tackle all the various components that is TTC. It's all a bit daunting at the moment.

Any useful information would be fantastic!!!

Thank you so much

x


----------



## Belbs (Aug 3, 2009)

Hello Pisces34,

Just thought I'd pass on a bit of info from our personal experience.

You don't have to go down the IVF route. You can have IUI which is cheaper and instead of collecting your eggs, fertilising them and transferring them back into your womb, they monitor your cycle and inseminate you when you are ovulating. I think the success rate is approx 10%. This can be done naturally and you will only produce one egg as in a normal cycle or with mild stimulation and you may produce more eggs. I haven't tried this method because we want our first child to be my partner's eggs with me carrying. We have been doing IVF/ICSI where they inject the sperm for higher fertilisation rates. At our clinic it costs abour £7000 a cycle. This does not include blood tests which we have done by our GP. The success rates vary from clinic to clinic depending on age and whether you are using your own eggs.

You could consider asking your GP to put you on the NHS waiting list. I tried this about 3 years ago and it wasn't possible but last September my Dr told me we could go on the list. I haven't done it yet because I was hopeful our 2nd tx would work! I am going to ask to go on the list now. 

The blood tests you would need to give a clinic are:
FSH, LH, Oestradiol, Prolactin (All hormone tests to be done on days 1-4 of your cycle)
HIV
Hepatitis B & C
Rubella
Urine Chlamydia
An up-to-date smear test

This saves a few hundred quid. There are some other tests which we had done at the clinic and they are a test to check if you a Cystic Fibrosis carrier and a Chromosome Karotype test. These cost about £200 altogether and we didn't ask the GP about those. You could try - not sure how long it would take for the results.

It is best to have a BMI below 25 but we went ahead with our first 2 cycles when my DP's BMI was 34. It was 28 for our last tx. Unfortunately it wasn't a good cycle but apparently a lower BMI helps to have healthier eggs. 

Start taking Folic Acid 3 months before your treatment. Pregnacare is a good one as it has all the vitamins and things like omega 3 which are good for trying to get pregnant. From reading this site I have found out about other things which can help implantation. Apparently selenium helps and it is found in pineapple juice and brazil nuts. I ate 5 a day and had 250ml of pineapple juice during my last 2ww. 

I hope this helps. If you have any other questions or need advice everyone on here is great. 

Good luck.  

Belbs xxx


----------



## lmb15 (Jun 12, 2009)

Pices34,
Welcome!! The whole thing seems a bit daunting at first, but it all soon starts to fall into place. We went straight for IVF as the success rate at our clinic is 60% (Nurture in Nottingham). Success for IUI is more like 15-20%. We did egg share, so my actual IVF was free - we paid £550 for drugs (very subsidised) £140 for consultation fee and a batch of sperm (10 straws, enough for 5 IVF cycles) at £1500, plus £350 for 10 year storage. We've got all our sperm for the next cycles, so if we egg share again they'll cost us £690 (unless prices go up). 
Depends how you'd feel about a potential genetic offspring contacting you in 18 years, kind of the opposite to any child of ours conceived through donor sperm wanting to find the donor. If you can handle that, then egg share IVF is the most cost effective way to get pregnant. (but you have to be under 35  years of age, nit sure how old you are)
Like Belbs said, get your GP to do the bloods. My clinic also asked for gonorrhoea and chlamydia swabs, and syphilis blood tests. Your GP or local GU clinic will do them.
Good luck with whatever route you decide to take. 
Lisa x


----------



## jo36 (Aug 12, 2008)

Welcome to FF, Pisces34,

Thought I'd add the IUI route (intra-uterine insemination) as its worked for us and we were really against IVF, unless I had fertility issues. The main reasons we opted for IUI was because it is so un-invasive, a fairly natural conception but without having to try at home. And also because of the price. Over the past few years the price of sperm has sky-rocketed making any procedure where you need donor sperm very expensive. When we were first TTC back in 2003-2004 it was before the anonymity law change concerning donated gamates. Since the law change theres been a massive increase in prices which is a real shame as its putting massive strain on people to chose more invasive procedures to get the family they so desire, as the odds are higher.

With our DD, we did a medicated cycle where I took clomid making me produce more than one egg. I fell pg on our 2nd cycle. This time I had a natural cycle and fell pg on our first attempt. So IUI can work. It may or may not take longer with IUI v IVF but with months of charting your cycle before you start and writing all changes down, you soon become an expert on how your body works and when you ovulate. It will become second nature.

As Belbs as already put, try and get some preliminary tests done with your GP. And if you are considering IUI or home inseminations it could possibly be worth going for an HSG where they can check to see if your fallopian tubes are clear, so you don't waste precious time and money whilst having a blocked tube.

Its important you choose the route of conception with one you are happy and comfortable with. Good luck in this very exciting time ahead for you both. Keep us posted on what you decide.  

Jo x


----------



## Guest (Aug 24, 2009)

Hello and welcome to FF

I got preggers 2nd time with donor insemination which is basically like having sex really, just a little less romantic  , as they just put the sperm at the opening of the cervix and send you on your merry way. Our clinic gives a 11% success rate so we were very lucky. Not such great luck with DP as she has had 6 failed DI cycles and 1 failed IVF  . IVF is definately not something to rush straight into without thinking about it as it is very draining physically and emotionally for you both. 
I think you also need to think about what you want for yourselves and your child too. We went through the clinic route as we wanted to know that everything we were going through was governed by the HFEA as this made us feel 'safe' with regards to any health or legal problems. We also wanted DS to be able to contact the donor later on if he wanted to and we wanted to use the same donor for any siblings. Some people don't like the clinic route and prefer to do things at home in a more natural environment, or use a donor that they already know. I agree with the others in that you should get as many tests done as possible to make sure you are not wasting your money xx


----------



## zoeee (Aug 23, 2009)

hi everyone me an my partner are gay an we are desperate for a baby but have no idea were to start with sperm donors does anyone have any advice please


----------



## Guest (Aug 24, 2009)

Hi Zoeee

I would say you have a few choices:

Go to a clinic and use donor sperm that allows your child to contact the donor when they turn 18
Use fresh sperm and inseminate at home - I worry about the safety of this myself  
Find someone you know who will donate to you
Go abroard to countries where donation is still annonymous and there is a lot more choice but your child will not be able to make contact with that person

Sperm is pretty rare stuff in the UK now because of the change in the laws. When we went for treatment in 2006, there were only 2 donors to choose from. If you want to go down the clinic route then I would ring a few in your area and find out what their sperm situation is at the minute  

Good luck in finding those little swimmers  

So much is wasted every day


----------



## Pisces34 (Aug 23, 2009)

Thanks for all your feedback ladies!  

I think the next step for us it to get some of the testing suggested out of the way.  I found that there is a GUM clinic local to me where I can have the Cervical Smear, HIV, Hep B&C, Chlymidia - all the STD testing without the cost.

I guess my next question is whether you have to go privately to get the fertility tests completed?  I am new in my local doctors surgery, I am not sure what support, if any, we would get.  Is it better to go to have these tests performed at a fertility clinic even if you are not yet ready to proceed directly with treatment?

I think the outcome of the testing would definitely impact on the final path to take. 

I am warming to the idea of egg sharing also having read some of the stories on this board, if I could help someone else too that would be lovely, but again, this depends on whether I am eligible and only having the test initially will tell me this.

Any suggestions on where and with whom to take the fertility tests?  Would a private clinic perform the tests even if I wasn't necessarily going to proceed with egg sharing directly?

So much to think about!

Thanks!
x


----------



## Guest (Aug 25, 2009)

We went to our GP surgery and he referred to our local clinic at the hospital in oxford. I only the blood tests as I did not have any risk factors with regards to fertility problems. I was offered the tubule patency test but declined it. DP, on the other hand has had gynae and abdominal surgery in the past and laser treatment to her cervix so we checked out her plumbing first  . All these were done on the NHS and we only started having to pay for things when we started treatment.


----------



## Belbs (Aug 3, 2009)

Hello again,

Moo2275 is right. You should definitely try and get as many tests as possible on the NHS before you go to a clinic as they charge an initial consultation fee. At our clinic it was £295 each so you are probably best to get all your results before you commit to a clinic. We didn't have any tests other than the bloods as when you have an initial consultation they have a quick peek at your ovaries and tubes etc; with an internal scan. 

Good luck,

Belbs xxx


----------



## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Hello & Welcome Pieces. 

I am currently waiting to start my 2nd DIUI. 

Try & get your HSG on the NHS as that is expensive (dye & xray of ovaries). I'm in Leicester & pay £900 for DIUI & £5 for the clomid tablets per cycle. 

Good luck!


----------



## Pisces34 (Aug 23, 2009)

Welsh/Ginge/Moo

You ladies certainly know your stuff!!!  

Off for some testing next week at the GUM clinic followed by conversation with GP re hormone testing - fingers crossed that a) they can both organise and fund said testing and b) that everything comes back clear!!


I guess its still very much one step at a time!!

xxxxx


----------



## lmb15 (Jun 12, 2009)

*pisces34* - i didn't have an HSG, so you might not need one. They're only really useful in people that have had problems conceiving, to make sure all tubes are open. If you go for IVF you shouldn't need it doing. If you go for IUI it'll be up to you if you have it done or not.
Where abouts do you live?(understand if you'd rather not say)
We're in Leicester, so there's a few clinic choices not far from us, which i could give you more info about if you want?
The choice of IVF vs IUI is a difficult one for some people, simple for others. It's what you feel comfortable with going through. Everyone's experience of IVF is different - i personally had no major side effects and just felt a bit bloated and tired. I know of other people that turned into absolute crazy b*tches though!! Just depends how you react to the hormones.
Best of luck with your investigations, and whatever method you choose.
Lisa x


----------



## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Hey Lisa, didn't realise you were in Leicester - me too!


----------



## lmb15 (Jun 12, 2009)

Welshginge - Yeah been in Leicester for 12 years now, and it's where me and Laura met whilst at uni. Did you go to Pride here at the weekend? We did, wasn't as good as when it used to be on Vicky Park   but least it was busy in the evening for once    We go out very rarely these days, unlike our care-free days when we were at uni here! Although the scene doesn't seem to have changed much over the years!  
Lisa x


----------



## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Didn't go to Pride, I wanted to but the DW wasn't keen. We dont go out as often anymore (saving for tx!) & get bored of the same pubs. The scene hasn't changed in the 7 years we've been here either! 

Hope your feeling ok & your enjoying your pregnancy. I hope to be joining you at some point!


----------



## Pisces34 (Aug 23, 2009)

Still lurking... still many questions...  

Are there any clinics in London that will accept you as an egg sharer if you have a BMI 30+?

Also, if you go for an initial consultation and are accepted do you always start straight away?  If a donor is found, but then something happened, change in circumstances etc would you still have to proceed?  If you decided not to, does that mean you would not be accepted at a later stage?

How is all of this handled normally?  What are the legal obligations?  How does it impact your chances of egg sharing in the future?

Sorry for all the questions!!

xx


----------



## lmb15 (Jun 12, 2009)

Pisces34 - not sure where you live? But if you're prepared to travel a bit, have a look at Nurture in Nottingham. They accept BMI's of less than 35. Here's a link to their website and details on their egg share programme:

http://www.nurture.ac.uk/treatments/egg-share-programme

If you start egg share and you withdraw before treatment, i don't think you have to pay anything. If you decide after egg collection that you want to keep all the eggs for yourself, you have to pay for your treatment. Then you won't be able to egg share again.
If you produce less than the minimum requirement to share (usually a total of 8 eggs) then you keep all the eggs and don't have to pay. If they think they could tweak your drugs on a subsequent cycle for you to produce more eggs, they might let you egg share again, but it would depend on the clinic.
If you go through egg share and the recipient pulls out, they'll try and find you another recipient, but if they can't then you get to keep all your eggs and not pay.

Hope this all makes sense!!

About the waiting - once you're accepted, they match you to a recipient and sperm donor (usually about 6 weeks). My clinic (Nurture) doesn't put you on the pill to try and synchronise the donor and recipient's cycles, but some clinics (like London's Women Clinic) do. To be honest, the furthest apart your cycles could possibly be is 2 weeks (like mine and my recipient's), so it just meant that i had to down regulate for an extra 2 weeks (though it ended up being 3 because my recipient's period was a week late!!). So once i was matched, i started on my next cycle and was injecting less than 3 weeks after being matched.

Once you start down regulating the time flies by, and next thing you know you're stimming, then having egg collection, embryo transfer, then you're on the long 2ww.

Hope this helps. Best of luck with finding a clinic you like!

Lisa x

/links


----------

