# fear and treatment



## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

im not really sure why im writing this thread but i just feel the need to try and put some of your girls at ease even just a tiny bit

im not gona lie and tell you tx is easy cause its not.

ive been through so much treatment now it is part of my life and even i get ****** off with feeling the side effects from the drugs.

the best was to deal with it is to distract yourself anyway possible, any concerns you have talk them over with someone, anyone who listens and doesn't judge and if your worried about anything with your tx or are unsure call the clinic, this is what they are there for.

support is something we all need and sometimes just someone to listen and understand. i just don't want anyone to think they are alone and to not post because the PMA has gone, you are allowed to have crap days and lets go through the ups and downs together.

girls the biggest step in getting on this roller coaster lets ride it together

love and luck to you all


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Kara - you're such an angel.  With friends like you and the others on here, I don't think I'll ever feel alone even when I'm struggling like crazy!


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## ebonie (Apr 17, 2007)

Aww kara that is lovely i dont think anyone can feel alone while all you lot are here   even though i havent gone back for any tx yet   i am so glad that you girls are here !!!!
I totally agree with sal you are a angel    xxx


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

i know your al here for me too and your all great 

thanks girls

aww feel the love


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## popsi (Oct 11, 2007)

oh noooo this board has just started me bloody     again !! its so lovely in here xx

kara .. thank you


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

aww hunni

you are a sweetie, is it good tears


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## popsi (Oct 11, 2007)

i guess they are Kara.. i am not usually as bad as this lol.. there will be a tsunami at this rate !!!


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Better out than in hunni - you know you're in good company!


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## ANDI68 (Aug 17, 2007)




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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

i didn't mean to make you all cry, crikey your start me off


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

help I'm drowning! only joking ..i definitely feel a lot better since i have met you lot..I'm not all alone like i used to think...theres plenty of people in the same boat as me.. you are all a great bunch!


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## popsi (Oct 11, 2007)

miriam i agree  ... but we will need wellies in here real soon girls


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## ebonie (Apr 17, 2007)

I have been reading this thread again and yes uv guessed it i started filling up    I hope you are all feeling a bit better today


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## ANDI68 (Aug 17, 2007)

The biggest fear for me (right now) is failure.

Each stage is a battle. I can cope with the drugs, the jabs, the way it all makes me feel ... it just scares me how each stage is an individual obstacle and it comes down to a whole load of luck in the end.  You can have a perfect cycle and still no guarantees ... what can we do to make it work?


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

aww andi

i feel like you the cycles are ok, the fear of failing is huge and then money issues come into it too

i am awful as i have already looked way way ahead. after a few goes you come to a stage where you have the dreaded should be give up convo and ive had it a few times now and it just makes me sad

i truely believe that a lot is good to luck and some some of us the road is a long one with lots of ups and downs

if you have fight in your heart you must keep trying


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Yep, I know Karen won't want to go indefinitely and yet I am so desperate to succeed.

I am scared today - will I get enough eggs? will at least 2 fertilise? etc etc etc  Trying so hard to relax and eat / drink the right things to give that final boost this weekend.


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

sal your fears are so normal hunni

eat what you enjoy, i suggest chocolate lol.


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

I am going to have 2 litres of water and eat as much as I can as last time I barely ate after the FR coz I felt so rancid.  So whether it be pizza and icecream or whatever, I will have whatever I can stomach!  Chips might be nice  

I just read some of the IVF diaries and whilst most have more follies than me, I read one where she only had 4 fertilised eggs and ended up with a BFP.


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

Mmmmmmmmmmmm pizza and chips.  I'm hungry now.

I only had 4 eggs.  Maybe good sign


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

believe me it not the amount that really counts, you just need that one right one to make a baby


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

Exactly - I am hoping the fact that my body has produced these with very little assistance might be a good thing - that's my medical professional opinion naturally! LOL  

Yes - the temazapan and reflexology will be more than a little necessary tomorrow I think


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

the pills wil deffo help mate and come here and i will try and keep you calm, i just wish i could be there with you

i really wana watch a egg collection lol

you should see me now, i have a calender and im working out money


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

I woke up half way through mine.  Oh the pain.  Mine were really tough to get out.  DH said I looked like a drugged up mental patient when they brought me back.  A dribbling wreck in a wheelchair.  The other girls practically walked back in.


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

No harm in having a plan! I haven't thought ahead at all after this as yet.  I was planning for 2 more IUIs which would have been back to back but I don't know if there would be any point in going back to IUI if this doesn't work - I don't think they could give me any less Puregon. 

And you would be more than welcome to observe my EC - I personally am hoping not to experience any of it but I don't care who else is there once I am out for the count.  They can bring in a whole host of students for all I care!  Just as long as they are gentle and careful and get it done without killing me. 

**** Debi, don't tell me that - extra drugs pls nurse!


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

I had a student in for my last ec and i feel that is something so important as its the only way they can learn

all three of my ec have been fine, the second one was the best as i was awake through most of it, the last one knocked me out for hours lol, both me and luke were sleeping in recovery, well he had a hard time (opps excuse the pun)

last time was different as the first 2 ec were done in the old clinic


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

Sorry (I'm an  ) - but you'll probably be fine.  I've got a lot of scar tissue in the way and I had to be sterilised back in September which left one of the tubes severely inflated so they had to go around the back.  Its a really long story but in short my guts are knackered.  Its a relatively straightforward procedure.  A friend of my mums was practically awake having hers.  She told me it wasn't that bad.  So I'm sure you'll be fine.


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## CookieSal (Jun 24, 2007)

LOL - I'm sure I'll come out the other side with my own tale to tell, I usually do.

Kara - PMSL @ Luke sleeping in recovery - bless him!


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

is your tube a hydrosalpinx then (full of fluid?)

my clipped tube still fills up

he was sleeping when lyndon came round, git....luke not lyndon


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

Yea thats the word!  When she showed me scan after embies put back it was nearly as big as my bladder!

My Lloyd fell asleep too.  But he did wake up before me (which isn't unusual)

I fell of the bed too.  Before they'd even given me the drugs.  They asked me to slide to end - my legs in the air - I slid a bit to far and ended up in the drip tray.  Nerves got the better of me.

But my god those drugs are good - work quick an' all.


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

were your tubes clipped because of this ot removed, i have one removed and one clipped


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

I had under-developed and diseased felopian tubes.  Bit of a catch22 really.  I could catch but couldn't carry - mainly because infection was seeping into womb and killing anything that was there.  Have had at least 3 miscarriages.  The only way to solve the problem was to remove the tubes.  BUT......because I have so much scar tissue from previous ops they couldn't remove them as was far to risky of damaging other organs so they had to clip them.  Which then meant - I could carry as womb is fine but couldn't catch!!


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

mine left tube is stuck to my colon so they didn;t wana risk removing

i mc my first ivf pregnancy and i put it down to my hydro as i had fluid in my womb then, every cruel isnt it

the good thing is ivf has a good success rate after tubes are clipped or removed, ive just been unlucky

who did your op?


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

One of mine is stuck to my bladder I think.  I know there was a risk of perforating the rectum if they removed the other one.

Mr Penketh did my op.  He was brilliant.  Very positive afterwards which gave me a lot of hope.

The staff at UHW have been amazing as well.  Very honest.


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

it so good when you have a postive con

have you been trying for a long time? sorry for all the question btw


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

Don't be.  Its just good to be able to talk.

I was told when I was 18 that I would have difficulty.  Been trying for about 10 yrs.  on and off.


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

not easy is it

we have been trying for 11 years in november


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## deblest (Jun 20, 2008)

No not at all.  I never thought I'd actually get this far.

I'd resigned myself to the fact that I'd never have a baby a couple of years ago.  But since I started tx at UHW it's given me one last hope.

I don't have gameplan if this fails.  But after chatting to you all today I've got a lot more hope.  What I've been through is nothing compared to most of you.

Oh my god look at the time.  I really must go.  Poo!  Loads to do.  I'll catch up with you all on Monday now probably.

Fingers Crossed for all of you.  Best of Luck.


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

see you monday and have a good weekend


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