# Has anyone else gone completely mad on FET drugs?



## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Hi,

Tis ages since I have posted on here but just need to offload. Was due back to work today ater having ET last Tues but I am really struggling, more so than when I did fresh cycle. Did not sleep a wink last night, just did not happen and feel permanently menstral and very very low. Have not felt myself since starting on drugs (Climaval) Feel really withdrawn and like a pathetic version of my normal self.

Had to phone in sick and feel so guilty cos was supposed to be on a trip (am a secondary school teacher) so boss was a bit curt. Also tis exams v.soon so feel terrible that my students will be stressing (the conscientious ones anyway!) but I thought rather that than lose it with the kids or cry. Just feel like these emotions are totally out of my control. Phoned hospital who say that some women experience the effectsvery strongly. Like my mum says, you can't expect to put al this in your system and not feel anything.

Just wondered if anyone else feels like this. I am finding it almost impossible to make simple decisions. And feel so so guilty about all time I have had off

Any comments appreciated

Has anyone else


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## mombasaqueen (Sep 18, 2008)

Hi Northy,

 your version sounds similar to mine but this was when i was doing a fresh cycle in December 08. I was on Microgynon and it DID send me a bit loopy.. and i could slap somebody with the slightest reason.. you are not alone. I suffered Headaches, migranes, skin breakage and moods whem i started on Gonal F. So all in all the medication left me a bit cookoo. My husband did not do ANYTHING right... and the whole world was my enemy.. 

Try and drink pleanty, it will help stop you feeling worn out.. and keep you going.. also eat plenty of nuts... i found biting on something helped me feel occupied as well as long as it was something helpful. Think of the end result and try and stay positive. I know its not easy is it?  but this is our destiny. I have just started a FET last week so i understand

xxMsaQ


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Thanks MsaQ. I do like nuts. Have you ever tried Food Doctor Soya Nuts v.nice. Know what you mean bout anger. Luckily for him dh works away!

Just back from docs who tried to sign me off for a fortnight but went for a week. Must have looked as great as I feel!

Interested in what you said about destiny as all feels a bit random to me but tis comforting to think tis part of awider plan. 

What stage of FET you at


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Northy, 

Had to reply to let you know that on my last cycle (a medicated FET) I was on climaval too and they sent me barking! I could have written your post to the word as I had exactly the same experience!   I was the same as you with the decision making and I would talk and forget what I was saying part way through the sentence all the time. 
I'm a teacher too and know those feelings of guilt. I know you are concerned about the children but they will be fine and your Head is it? Well, they can just sod off! They haven't got a clue! 

Helen x


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Best reply I've had cos you start to think you are just being pathetic. That stuff is crazy, much worse than injections. I feel so feeble cos can't decide anything, like my parents want me to stay at theirs, can't even cope with that and you re right yoou c't talk. How did you cope with it all? Were you off?

You are right sod them! Have worked ruddy hard to make sure they are up to speed. Was HOD and I think tis wearing thin cos had probs last tme and was off for nearly as much time. She just said "well will find it difficult to find anyone for trip" and "when will you be back?" But tis not a job where you can hide in a corner and fanny around with email.

We have stuff in common, Climaval, teachers (are you secondary?) and my name is Helen.
What stage you at?

Again ta, feel less alone


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Fellow Helen, 

No worries at all   I'm glad to have helped a little. 

I agree with you when you say that climaval are worse than the injections but I ended up having a lot of time off with my fresh cycle too - 4 weeks! I ended up having a bad reaction to the buserelin because of my high thyrroid levels. Then along comes the climaval for the medicated FET and I was like the walking dead. I didn't think it would be worse - but it was!  

I'm primary and this cycle has been a natural FET so no dreaded 'c'. Have two embies on board and OTD is next Wednesday if I have a blood test or later if I wait and do a HPT  

Helen xxx


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Just saw that your OTD is next Tuesday. 

Got everything crossed for you  

xxx


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

From this point let it be known as Clim EVIL!! If I go back for my last embies will ask not to be on it again. Have been on here nearly all day, my ma is coming to drag me away BOOOO! Hope I can get some kip cos she snores so loudly dad has to sleep elsewhere

Really does make a difference to know others are going through it. I don't know anyone who's had IVF do you. My two best mates are pg at the moment, one through IUI but she was a rubbish ff, seemed ashamed about tx and never talked about it. Lied when I asked her outright if she was pg then told me two weeks later. Has taught me a lot about folk this proess.

Yeah I noticed just now that we test at same time  to you too. Hopefully will keep chatting to you


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

I know a few people who are going through IVF (including a colleague - I don't think our head can believe her bad luck!) Most of my closest friends have babies and haven't had a problem getting pg. They have been wonderful but it makes such a difference being able to talk to people going through the same thing  

We'll definitely have to keep chatting - feel free to pm me or we can just post on here! 

Hope you manage to get some sleep despite your mum's snoring  

 too

xxx


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Morning,

Well finally got some kip which puts a different perspective on things. Managed to sleep before ma's snoring kicked in! Didn't know what to do with myself yesterday. Am still a tad edgy but menstral symptoms have subsided. You ok?

What you up to today? My sis and baby are coming over. I am god mum at his christening on Sunday so hope I am not too nutty or that it has gone tits up by then! Not the best week for it in some ways


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Hiya, 

Well I thought I was doing fine - I went back to work yesterday but during the night had awful AF pains and couldn't sleep. Went into work this morning and burst into tears   So after a chat with the Head I am officially 'working from home' till at least the end of this week now! I have been very lucky as everyone is lovely with me. I can't believe I cracked up; I thought I was handling it all ok this time. Obviously not!

Glad to hear you have something to keep yourself busy today.  

Helen x


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Poor you! Hope you are calmer now. We just probably just resign ourselves to not going in during 2WW. Can't help kids when you feel so wretched yourself. How are the pains now? Hope you aren't actually working and are taking it easy. Watch a silly film or read chick lit. Defo relax. Like you said to me sod school!


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Thanks  

I'm not really doing much - have just sent a couple of emails but nothing strenuous! Will definitely have to get out the cheesy dvds this afternoon. 
We do give a lot of ourselves to the job and I think the whole fertility thing is something that is extremely difficult to do alongside teaching so I don't feel guilty (much  ). 
I'm still feeling a bit tender in that area. I know it is probably just the progesterone injections but when I had worried about it all night it was so hard to rationalise this morning. As everyone realised who passed me as I howled in the corridor! SO embarrassing! 
How are you feeling?

xxx


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## mombasaqueen (Sep 18, 2008)

you ladies are just so funny!   The TWO Helens out to put the flaming school regime right!!!


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## Jomag (Oct 20, 2008)

Hi ladies - I'm not a teacher!! but mind if I join you?

I can totally sympathise with what you are going through.  I am going through my 2nd FET at the moment and it is not easy.  I have just had my scan to confirm down reg and am due to start progynova tomorrow. If my last four embies manage to survive the thaw, I am due for transfer on 14th May.  My last cycle resulted in a BFN (only last month) and from memory the last few weeks were definitely the worst.  The stress I felt waiting to find out if my embies were ok is hard to put into words, then that dreadful 2ww when you can think about nothing else, combined with all those drugs... I defy any woman to go through this without being traumatised and extremely emotional at the end of it.

So Helen, I think what I am trying to say is... try not to feel guilty about your head, or the kids or anything else. You have got to be the priority here for a little while. Noone can understand this until they have faced it themselves.  Infertility has got to be one of the most heartbreaking and emotional experiences a woman has to face and we all have to deal with it in our own way.  There have been days when all I want to do is curl up in bed but I force myself out of it because I am secretly saving up my sick leave for any future disappointments, or dare I say it... morning sickness!!

Good luck with your treatments and heres to some very positive posts coming our way very soon   

Jo x


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Evening all,

Hi Jomag - welcome,
Totally agree with all you say. Tis such a difficult experience. We should give ourselves a break and not expect to continue as normal. Think it's because the hospital are so blase and are like "Go back to work, you can just carry on as normal" YEAH RIGHT!

Helen - don't worry about being upset. Don't dwell on it. Tis not important in scheme of things but taking care of yourself is.

Hark at me! You can tell I feel better today. My pains have subsided to twinges. My boss came to see me at my parents to drop of coursework that has to be sent at start of next week. I asked her to. She was absolutely fantastic even though she never wants kids herself. Hugged me on way in and out so feel better. Think she was relieved cos she had got wrong end of stick and thought had been signed off for a fortnight.

My house is for sale and someone is viewing tomorrow and started to panic cos didn't want to do  hoovering but my ma is coming over to help. My ma has been good, she ain't so hot on emotional stuff but she tries her best. 

Hope you all doing ok and are not on pant watch too often. I was so paranoid that had come on that wanted to check my pants in the co-op. God this process is mental!


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Me again. Is it true that af doesn't arrive b4 OTD on a FET cycle even if bfn. Was just congatulating myself on getting further than last time then read that. Have been on here too long!


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Hi Jomag - welcome to the thread! Thanks for your advice hun, I really appreciate it. I know it is impossible not to get emotional about the whole thing as it is such a traumatic experience! Good luck with starting your prognova tomorrow. I had 4 frosties and 2 survived the thaw so I would have thought you stand a very good chance with your four. How old are your embies? xxx

Helen - Wow, transformation chick! I am really pleased as you sound so much happier. It must be a day for getting hugs off bosses because I got one too and it is amazing how much better I felt as a result. I can't believe your house is for sale too - wow - talk about stressful, you are so brave to take on all this. No to hoovering though, it's a good excuse though  
In reply to your query about AF and getting to OTD it is a tricky one. On my last FET I felt the same because I reached OTD as on my previous fresh cycle my AF had come on the day it was due, however, the progesterone pessaries/injections are likely to hold it off so it's not as if we can be more optimistic about the outcome of the cycle! It might stop you wanting to check your pants in the co-op though  

xxx


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## HelenFS (Feb 25, 2008)

Also not sure about something. How many days after et are you going to be when you test? How old were your embies so how many dpo will you be?

I've been told I can have a blood test next Wednesday or wee test on Saturday. I don't think I can bear to wait till Sat! But my blood test is going to be through my GP so they won't get the results for days so that'll bring it to Sat probably! Arrgh!


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## Northy (Jan 21, 2008)

Am testing at hospital on Tues but OTD should be Sun but can't test til later cos of bank hol. God annoying to go through gp! Am gonna try and not test on Sun cos is nephew's christening and don't wanna go to pieces.

Yep crazy ole times. Am moving to Cov. DH already works down there. Have resigned from job and need to find another. Often does my head in how uncertain stuff is


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