# Thanks, infertility



## Northern (Sep 26, 2015)

Thanks, infertility. 

Thanks for the effect on my friendships; 
Thanks for making my pregnant best friend nervous about seeing me as she’s afraid it’ll be weird, be too hard for me, cause tension;
Thanks for making me anxious about seeing her as I want her to know how much I love her even though this is hard, weird, and brings an undercurrent of tension;
Thanks for making me doubt my relationship with my partner; 
Thanks for the impossible questions we’ve had to find the answers to;
Thanks for making me feel such guilt, as though my God/the universe is using this experience to punish me; 
Thanks for making years of my life feel like an endless crossroads;
Thanks for the tears;
Thanks for the hard-to-bear sympathy from my mother;
Thanks for the pain of hearing loved ones tiptoe round me with their words for fear of upsetting me; 
Thanks for the dagger that goes right through me when I see another announcement or scan on social media; 
Thanks for the debt, the sum of which I’ve lost count of;

Thanks for sarcasm, my go-to coping mechanism. 

Thanks for the strength you’ve uncovered in me which I didn’t know I had – but I wish I’d been able to live in ignorant bliss and not know it as I hadn’t needed it; 
Thanks for my relationship, which has survived the doubt and questions and been tested and proved strong;
Thanks for my friendships, which survive the tension and hurt – but I wish none of us were put in this impossible position; 
Thanks for the people I’ve met who’ve also been through this, who are so courageous and inspiring – but I wish I lived in ignorance and didn’t need their support; 
Thanks for the knowledge of this secret world of pain and struggle which I’m privileged to be part of and share with others and campaign for – but I wish none of us had to suffer it; 

Thanks for the complexity of emotions that makes me doubt my sanity and stability;
Thanks for making me love and loathe myself and often everyone around me; 
Thanks for making me more bitter than even I ever thought I could be; 


God give me and others the strength to come through the other side and find peace and happiness.


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## Nicnik (Feb 17, 2016)

Yip, I agree on all accounts. ❤ xx


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## K jade (Aug 11, 2013)

Love it


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## Angedelight (Aug 17, 2012)

❤


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## HopefulKayte (Jun 16, 2017)

So moving, so true <3 Emotionally, my heart responded to each and every idea. Analytically, I was like, "that is one THOROUGH examination of this life-altering reality"... something I wish so many people could read and consider, who do not support infertility and loss the way they are willing to regarding other forms of depression, health issues, and bereavement.

Thank you so much for sharing and big hugs!


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## Northern (Sep 26, 2015)

Thanks ladies 💜
Been feeling the emotional turmoil a bit lately - these are the ramblings of my inner infertile monster!  
Xx


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## mattysmrs (Jul 7, 2013)

I can relate to all this. Amazing words 💖


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