# Taking our first steps towards our family



## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi everyone, just wandering if anyone can give us any advice there is so much information things to read can anyone recommend anything that has really helped them??

Bit about us. We have been ttc since 2003, 1 yr on clomid and 3 ivf attempts the last one of these ended with 1 egg which didn't fertlise on the 15 March so in limbo land at the moment but we are both 99.9% sure we are ready to move on and now our focus is on the family we would so love to be mummy and daddy for.  

We have made the first steps and spoken to LA social worker, hoping to go on the info evening in August.

Would really appreciate any words of wisdom

Thanks everyone in anticipation??


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

You know what I will say !!!

Honestly though I think you're doing the right thing waiting till after your holiday to make a decision after what you've been through.

Thinking of you xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

how weird is that Bee you were the first one to reply to my thread when I joined FF you really are a true support to me thanks hun xx


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Oh yeah! I forgot about that!!  You're worth it.  You've had a pants few months chick and I truly believe you'll make the right decision for you and you'll be surprised how good you feel about it xxx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

There is a lot of info out there, some of it for people just starting out right the way up to 'text' book styles.  To start with I'd recommend the following:

An Adoption Diary by Maria James (a true story)
Adopting A Child by Jenifer Lord (guide for thise interested in adoption)

For DH there is a book called 'Approaching Fatherhood' by Paul May
For other relatives there is 'Related by Adoption' by Hedi Argent

All I think can be bought from BAAF but its worth shopping round as Amazon tend to often be cheaper, not sure whether a library would have them.

Take your time to make your decision and don't feel you have to be 110% sure in order to get things moving.  Our LA told us a lot of people drop out during the prep course as they find its not for them and this is what the prep course is about really, giving you the information to decide whether adoption is right for you.  I guess most prep courses are the same, pretty draining and hard facts, emotional and eye opening, but they have to give you ALL the facts, reality is though you have a lot of control over the issues you can deal with and no agency will match you with a child/ren they don't think you can cope with.

Good luck with your decision.
OT x


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

thanks Bee thats really sweet, enjoy the lunch today xx

Oldtimer thanks will have a look and get some stuff to read. Thank you for replying xx


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Adoption Diary and Approaching Fatherhood are books we're reading at the moment - you can borrow them when we're done if you like chick!  xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

thanks hun that would be great if you don't mind, no hurry thanks


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Well I have finished the adoption diary already so that gives us an excuse to meet up so you can borrow it  xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Look forward to it hun, next few weekends are a bit manic but if we are coming your way anytime I will let you know promise xx


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Excellent  xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi Bee how you doing?? Is project house alterations going to plan?? That will be our biggest hurdle unless we can move quickly but isn't looking likely really starting to wish we had never brought this place.

Hope you had a better day at work?? Take care xx


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Hiya chick - how are you doing?  I'm ok - been to hospital again today but they sorted me out quickly so I'll be ok.

The house is coming along ok!  I'm sure your place will be ok chick - so long as you have enough room for them it will be cool!

xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Oh Bee your'll really suffering with it all at the moment, are you any nearer to seeing a consultant??  Thats the trouble we live in a small 2 bed flat with no garden, not really a child friendly place but haa its just another hurdle we have to jump, we've got over them all so far and at the end of the day it might just mean we have to have a small loan to get rid of it which is not the end of the world. 

We are going on our info evening on the 18th August your the first person other than my mum that we've told wanna keep it a bit quiet at the moment which isn't like me I normally tell the world everything but just feel this might actually work and enjoying having a little happy secret if that makes sense!!

Hope you are ok today xx


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

When I spoke to the dr yesterday he said they will chase up Addenbrookes as I need to get the CN1 infusions sorted asap.  Weirdest thing yesterday it was actually my ear canals that swelled up!  I woke up like it but my airways and face were fine so I went to work thinking it would just go away - I worked from 7 till 12 lunch time but when I turned round to a work colleague they said my face was swollen so I knew it was time to admit defeat!  I am still deaf in one ear at the moment ( much to most people I know's amusement as they can say things and I can't hear!), so I am being referred to ENT as a precaution although it can take a week for swelling to go down entirely!

Aw I am sure if you only wanted to adopt 1 child then your flat would be no problem but I can understand why you would think about moving - we stupidly bought a big house in our second house move and until we started having Cali, Rowan and Willow it felt so empty!  Sometimes wish we had stayed put!

18TH August isn't far away now!  It will be here before you know it! I totally understand your little secret!  It's so exciting! xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Hope you get something sorted soon hun its crazy that you haven't seen anyone yet. Your poor ear hope Jake isn't been too mean lol. 

We really want a sibling group, we are both from big families and would love our children to have each other as support as well. We are gonna rent somewhere just can't afford to take the next step on the ladder, we can rent a 3 bed house for not much more than our mortgage but if we want to buy we'd be doubling what we pay now and I don't want to work full time if we are lucky enough to have your family.

It is really lovely for you that you have the 3 of them good practice for you both. We have our 4 yr old nephew tomorrow reckon we'll be at Colchester Zoo with him as its not looking like its gonna be a great day least we can run in and out at the zoo can't wait we are both really excited about it I really love spending time with them all. 

Take care and hope you get sorted soon xx


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

Aw chick renting sounds like a plan with jam then!  I hope you have a fab time tomorrow xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Thanks hun how are you doing?? Bet your getting nervous and excited.  We had a lovely tme at the zoo we actually had both my  4 yr old nephews for the day it was so funny I was crying in the car they are both so lovely and it was really special as my sis little boy has never been out with us on his own so it was really lovely there is 12 wks between them and they just don't stop it was great. So much for my little secret lol looks like i have a stalker in the shape of Daisy May lol xx Still don't  want to announce it yet  I know everyone has probably read this but it just feels like right to keep a bit hush hush at the mo xx


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## *daisy-may* (Mar 20, 2009)

AAA- Whoops Sorry. Should have kept my   .


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

No honestly its fine honest I am guessing you won't be the only one lol.  I see from your signature you are having another go?? Good luck really hope it all goes to plan keeping everything crossed for you both x


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