# Ive Lost it !!!



## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Ive surprised myself at how well I have dealt with the pg sd issues
but its all just collapsed ... my composure has well and truly gone

sd is in labour as we speak and ive just phoned her Mum to get an update seeing as they seem intent on keeping us in the dark, after this conversation in which she made it very clear that "SHE" is her mother and not me and that I was not welcome to bother them for news ... I will be told when there is anything to know ... is what I was informed.

well after this conversation I have completley lost my stiff upper lip, I am now in floods of tears and just cannot imagine how the hell I am going to cope with this, my house is full of baby stuff and its almost like I have been walking around with my eyes closed because it all now seems so real

I CANT DO THIS    

Dydie xxxx


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## Sue MJ (May 4, 2002)

Aww Dydie .  I can not begin to imagine how tough this one is for you.  I can not believe what a b*tch your sd's mum is either.

I'm sure once you have seen your sd with baby, things will be tough, but will be easier to move forward.  I find the hardest moment with anyone being pregnant around me is when they actually go into labour and everything then is in limbo, coz everything is so surreal and neither here nor there.  It's easier to put things into perspective once the babies are here and the anticipation is no longer there.  Hope this makes some sense, it does in my head, but there again, my experiences are based on SIL's pregnancies and friends pregnancies - a SD is in a totally different category.

So I'll finish this with the biggest Cyber .

Love,

Sue xxx


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## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

Dydie,
Hope you don't mind me posting, I don't know you, but have been reading some of the threads you use and cannot believe how hard this situation must be for you. Its unimaginable...I think I would be in a mental hospital by now if it was me. You sound like such a strong caring woman, and its no surprise that things have just got too much. You're only human after all. It must be so difficult trying to be supportive of your SD when you have so much to grieve for yourself. And to have it all rubbed in your nose by SD's mother.....words fail me. Can you talk to DH about it, or have you got family and friend that you can lean on?
Wish I could say something helpful, but just wanted to express some moral support for you.

Ermey xx


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Oh Dydie-what a crap situation!!! I feel so upset for you cos as you know it could easily be me!!!  I dont think i would be coping at all either! So i have no words of advice but just a massive hug!!!


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi Dydie
I am so sorry also, you have been through such a tough time in all of this, i am not surprised that you have got to breaking point...  
I think what Sue,Ermey and Irisheyes has written is exactly what i would like to say also....but i also think its time that you maybe take alittle step back and think of yourself. You have given over 100% to all of this and there is nothing more you can do at this moment....
The likes of dealing with your SD mother is not an ideal situation and she sounds as if she has always been a selfish madam. That will never change, so why hurt yourself further and deal with the likes of someone who only cares for themselves...
Like Ermey says can you liase with your DH and let him take over for a while? because you have so many emotions and a big change of life infront of you, its time that you found your own coping strategies...the situation will probably get alittle easier but your emotions will not go away...So i know it sounds as if i am preaching, but you do need to start looking after yourself...
Keep in there because i know you are strong somewhere deep down....
lots of love astridxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Dydie,

Just wanted to send you some (((((hugs))))) and offer my support to you.  It must be so hard to go through this and I really do admire you.

Laine


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi Dydie
I hope that you are ok?
We are all thinking of you...
lots of love astridx


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## rachelk (Apr 27, 2006)

Hi Dydie
I know exactly what you are going through, I felt very lonely when my stepsons girlfriend gave birth but somehow you'll find the strength like I did and hopefully get through this.  I'm thinking of you.
Take care
Rachel


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Thanks to all of you .... once again your posts have helped me through yet another emotional time  

Well I am now a Nanny !!! 

SD gave birth to a little boy on Saturday 02.00am 6lb 8oz she has called him
Haydan

Things were quite stressful and strained over the weekend as SD's Mother took control of everything including allotting time slots for people to visit  
but we did get to go in and see them on Saturday

Yet again the strength of my composure surprised even me and I even managed to have a cuddle which I don't normally do where babies are concerned, he really has pulled at my heart strings, he was such a sweetheart and just so chilled out.

You can see quite alot of my DH in him (poor sod   ) and SD has decided to give the baby my dh's surname .... this was a bit of a surprise, but she has said that she wants him to have his blood name....dh is over the moon about this as he will be the only little boy within his immediate family who will be able to carry the name forward.

In some ways I feel a little cheated by this .... does that sound odd? 

I suppose I always had some hope that we might try again some day, in a strange way having no children to carry the name forward was one of the things I could use to bribe my dh  

anyway i thought I would let you know that I have survived the weekend, thanks again ladies for all your words of wisdom, sympathy and encouragement, I don't know what I would do without you  

Dydie xx


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Glad you survived Dydie honey!!!

I understand what you are asying about carrying the name on. My dh would really have loved a boy(since he already has a dd). I used to think also that this could be used as an incentive for going on for more treatment. However i think we have suffered ttc for all of our marriage and i think we now have to step back and say "No more" and see if it happens naturally. I know my mum doesnt fully understand as she thinks we should try everything but she hasnt been "in the situation" for nearly 7 years.

The funny thing is that when friends of ours have had baby girls it doesnt bother me as much as i know what it is like to go thru the little girl stages(apart from baby) as i have been around from age 4 for my sd. But if a friend was to have a boy we would feel it more.Dont get me wrong any child would be wonderful but it doesnt hurt as much for us if it is a girl as we have done that!

wishing you all the best- You will be a very glamorous granny!!!!


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi Dydie
I to am so glad that you survived what must have been a stressful weekend.....plus a stressful time overall...
I am not in the same position as you and Irisheyes but i can honestly say that it must be so hard for you. I can empathise with your feelings on your SD giving birth to a boy and what that actually means to you...All i can say from an outsider looking in, is that all your emotions are natural...
I think you have been so brave through all of this and i cannot imagine emotionally what effect this has had on you and your DH...
All i can say like i have said before is 'its time to take time out for you'....its well overdue. You need time to gather your own emotions and thoughts so that you can move forward...Well done for holding the baby that takes alot of guts...
Thinking of you...
lots of love astridxxx


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