# Is everyone else in the world pregnant?



## ickle_hamster (Dec 29, 2012)

Have just had a phone call this morning that yet another friend is pregnant - I'm really pleased for them but nearly burst in to tears when I got off the phone...  That's three couples in our group of friends who are currently expecting, 2 of whom weren't even trying!!!  We've been trying for well over a year with no joy at all.... know I sound like a complete cow saying this but it just feels so unfair 

I was supposed to go for my initial scans and blood tests for potential IVF this month but my cycle went completely mental so they wouldn't actually do them when I went for the appointment so that's got me down as well coz I feel like it's completely out of my control and that it's never going to happen.  It all just feels very overwhelming at the moment....  I'm hoping constantly feeling like I want to either scream or cry is just a stage tho.


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## jaykay76 (Jan 4, 2013)

Hiya,

It's so hard when you heard about others getting pregnant. I've been trying for 5 years now, and have lost 2 babies along the way. I've had numerous close friends and my sister in law have babies (some now on their second!) Now I just try to take a step back, I send cards and good wishes, but I won't go and visit new babies unless I feel emotionally secure to be able to deal with it. Don't be too hard on yourself for feeling that way, when I heard that my sister in law had given birth, I burst into tears, so you're not alone! 

I hope you get back on track with the IVF soon, I'm starting another cycle next month, so fingers crossed for both of us xx


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## LollyPT (Jan 28, 2013)

It is reassuring to know that we are not alone. I have been ttc for over 3 years now and due to start IVF next week! The waiting has been the hardest part, especially as several of my friends and colleagues have had babies in this time. We were referred by our GP last Jan, got an appointment in March to local trust which was then cancelled due to restructuring of services, finally had our 1st consultation with fertility clinic last month, so know what it's like to have to wait. 
My DH's sister had also been trying for 18 months and had been finding it hard thinking she may not conceive. During this time we could lean on each other and she would often cry on my shoulder when it felt like everyone else around us was having babies. It was nice to have someone to talk to who understood as I found it hard to be totally honest at times with my DH as our fertility problems are male factor. Well the inevitable happened and my sister in law became pregnant last year. She was very anxious about telling us, and kept telling me it would happen for us too. She eventually seemed to forget about the agony you feel when unsuccessfully ttc so I thought best to try and distance myself. The pregnancy was actually the easy part! I was with her the day she was in labour and actually drove her to the hospital in full blown labour, of course I was overjoyed for her and her hubby but inside I was dying, thinking this might never be me. Well now my new nephew is 2 weeks old and I love seeing him but it still hurts like hell. Although both our families know we will be having treatment we have not told any of them that we are starting soon, so fingers crossed we can soon surprise them with some happy news of our own! 


As I said, it is good to know that we are not alone,talking about it really does help as it's such an emotional rollercoaster. x x


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## yogabunny (Sep 12, 2012)

Hi ickle,   I have been feeling that in last few weeks, I do think it goes in stages. When I finally get a BFP (   ) I am going to cry and scream so LOUDLY!!! I feel like I have been holding it together for everyone else for a long time. I am happy for friends when they get pregnant, but it is still like a stab in the heart, and I heard about someone from my old work yesterday who is a bit of a difficult person and I know it's terrible but my first reaction was anger!!! What a cow I am! I found once the IVF journey had started I felt a bit more in control, but our bodies do do the weirdest things and so it is not always straight forward! I know not easy but try to think this is just a blip for you and you'll soon be on the next step for your cycle and your dreams. Wishing you lots of luck, and maybe we should all go to the top of a hill somewhere and have a massive scream!! xx


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## ELW7 (Feb 16, 2012)

So sorry for you all.  I know how much it hurts and the pain is unbearable at times.  Our first ivf resulted in a miscarriage and an ectopic which devastated us beyond words,  Our second cycle was a negative this week and my heart is broken all over again.   I have spent the last ten years being so excited for all my friends and their news (there are now nearly 30 children throughout my friendship groups) but I just can't do it any more, it breaks my heart!  During this last treatment my sister, sister in law and several friends have all announced their happy news!  Like you all say, it's lovely news for them but heartbreaking for us.  It hasn't helped that my sister's is accidental and it hurts so much when we have been going through such torture.  I know my parents are devastated for us but thrilled at becoming grandparents for the first time.  I don't know how I can cope with this or be a part of it which sounds dreadful but the pain is just too much. It seems so cruel that so many of us go through this emotional journey when it seems to happen so easily for everyone around us.  I hope we do all have our miracles one day and that our dreams come true very soon.  Love to you all, Emma xxx


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## ickle_hamster (Dec 29, 2012)

Hi ladies - thanks for the replies!  It's awful isn't it and the feeling alone is just rubbish!!  A couple of friends and my sister know we're waiting for treatment but don't really want to tell everyone as it's hard enough without the constant 'are you ok...?'.  On the plus side I've finally been for my initial tests this morning so eventually feel like I'm getting somewhere, even if we do have to wait twelve weeks for the next stage!  Off to start accupuncture tomorrow so fingers crossed it will help get both me and my body into a good place.  They did tell me the scan said I had good follicles tho so that's made me feel better about the whole thing.

ELW I just wanted to say I'm really sorry.  Must be so difficult to come to terms with.  Will you be able to try again do you think? 

Hopefully we will all be blessed with good luck in these cycles and the strength to go through all the difficulties and heartache that go with it xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i'm just dreading the june/july time when the media go baby mad about kate and will... i should have been due around the same time as her.. 's gonna be difficult i think. 

i think what seems to make it worse is that usually when you hear someone is pregnant they're already 12-13 weeks so it feels like hardly any time between them saying 'i'm pregnant' and them having the baby, but for someone who isn't pregnant, the idea of holding a baby is a long long way away. 

anyway the answer is no. not everyone else in the world is pregnant, or i would be! *sigh*. just gotta keep hoping!


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## ELW7 (Feb 16, 2012)

Hi Goldbunny, I'm dreading 'that' announcement too and my due date wasn't even then so I can only imagine how horrendous it will be or you!      So sorry for your loss! My sister and sister in law are also due then so I want to hide away and never come out!  Sending you lots of love xxx

icklehamster, glad things are progressing for you and wishing you lots of luck xxx


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## Mooncat (Oct 26, 2012)

Urgh, two pregnancy annoucements from friends today  When will other people's pregnancy news stop hurting? 

Right in the middle of FET treatment, so need to stay calm and focussed and positive, but feel like I've been punched in the gut... even contemplating a little glass one wine to calm me down... 

I know you all get it, and I know I'm not weird for feeling like this, but tell me to pull myself together, please!


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## ELW7 (Feb 16, 2012)

Mooncat, not sure it ever stops  Sending you lots of positive wishes     in the hope that you will be announcing yours soon too! Good luck, Emma xxx


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## Mooncat (Oct 26, 2012)

Thanks Emma  Keep trying to tell myself nothing has actually changed since this time yesterday, and I felt ok about things then  The ladies on this site are amazing and inspiring, so glad it exists! Good luck to you for wherever your journey take you next xx


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## ELW7 (Feb 16, 2012)

Thank you!  I know, I'd be lost without this site. It helps to know we're not alone! Keep positive   xx


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## Toad76 (Feb 9, 2013)

I totally get it, and it doesnt make you evil, its just how you feel. 

Where I work there are and have been 6 pregnancies in the past 12 months. Its a mixture of pain and anger each time they announce, or pop in with the new born. Another has just married and plans to try straight away so no doubt I will get to watch her pass me by as I wait. Today, my cousin just announced he is having his second, and I am filled with anger and almost hate. Neither of them have jobs the first was an accident, I could provide so much more yet I have nothing. 

Its not rational really, its just how it makes you feel. None of us can help it, we just have to try our best to cope. Sometimes that's better than others. Till we reach the endof our journies, whatever that may bring, we just have to muddle through best we can. If that means a little anger and some tears at points. So be it.

Your not alone. Xx


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## ELW7 (Feb 16, 2012)

You're totally right Toad!! Sorry you're feeling like this too   xx


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## Mooncat (Oct 26, 2012)

Thanks Toad  So sorry to hear you're going through the same feelings. 

DH just got off the phone from his mum and it's now three this weekend, as his cousin's wife is pregnant too. This is the worst I've seen him, he's very angry and upset  They're ten years younger than us, and the only other couple in the country who can produce offspring with our very unusual surname. Once again, I feel guilty that my stupid body is ruining his dream of being a dad 

Another close friend who told me yesterday is the same one who after my BFN in November told me she knew how disappointment felt, because she'd come off the pill two months earlier!    Anyway, it only took them 3 months, they only got married in October... Sigh. 

Feels so lonely, helps so much to know we're not alone xxx


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## Daydreamer88 (Dec 19, 2012)

I know how you feel, it is a kick in the teeth every time you hear about someone else who is pregnant and unfortunately the announcements all seem to come at once!! I have a influx of people having babies in July, of course along with the royal baby!! DH has suggested us buggering off on holiday for the month to avoid it all...I wish  

One day (hopefully    ) it will be our turn to say we are pregnant, we just have a longer and more painful journey to get there! Good things come to those who wait (so I keep telling myself, although it is beginning to wear a bit thin!!) 

 

X


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## ELW7 (Feb 16, 2012)

A holiday sounds like a good plan Daydreamer!  Might suggest it to my dh too   Here's hoping good things definitely come to those who wait    Good luck, love Emma xx

Mooncat, I'm intrigued by your surname?!  Hopefully you will be the next couple!   xx


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