# help i dont want daddy



## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi everyone.

Bubba loves us both until it comes to bath and bedtime and then its dont want daddy dont love daddy dont like daddy and she physically pushes him away. No bedtime kisses or hugs. I feel so sorry for him but just dont know what to do.

We had no problems with attachment. She has been home for over a year.  


Help Xx


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Awww AAA   
I didn't want to read and run but don't have time for a proper reply atm.
We have recently used some tactics for a slightly different issue, but they maybe useful in your case too. 
I will pm you asap over the next couple of days hun   .
Love Anj x


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Thanks hun. I have been speaking to a friend today who has 2 adopted boys and one of hers did a similar thing. I am just worrying as i go back to work Monday and i think i will be in hospital for another op before the summer and won't be able to do a lot for her. Xx


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

W does this every bedtime if both hubby and I are doing bedtime routine. But on the rare occasion I am out at bedtime then he lets dh do bath/bed routine with no problems
He has been with us since the day he was born so has a strong attachment to us both but just seems to want me to do the last bits with him before bedtime

I know it might not seem very nice for dh to be pushed away but if your little one has no problems at other times with dh then it is just that they prefer mummy to do the bedtime bits 

Are you usually there every bedtime? If so might be worth not being a few times just so little one has to have someone else do the bedtime routine ?

xx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hiya

I was going to suggest the same about letting dh just get on with it.  If I am upstairs when dh is getting both the children ready then they both want me......

If I am downstairs or out then dh says they're both fine, its just that as their main caregiver they're bound to want Mummy


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Thanks. We live in a flat so i can't really hide. Yeah i do most of bedtime routine as always here where as hubby works shifts. Think if i have to have op will have to disappear at tea time. Saying all that last night daddy did everything no problems.

Thanks everyone Xx


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi AAA,

I've just pm'd you   

Anj x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

My son is much older than your daughter but he is the same, he can be very dismissive of daddy and always wants me to o everything, it's because like others have said I am the main care giver and like mst of our children, routine is very important to them and change, however small it seems to us, can be huge to them.
I recently went in a girly weekend after 3 years of him being with us, I was really unsure about going because of how he was with daddy and in the end with great reluctance went and a big push from other half.
Was the best thing we ever did, they had a great weekend together, he had to rely on daddy to do everything for him and made a big difference to their relationship.


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Thanks eveveryone good to know its all normal. she is such a clever strong willed little girl. Xx


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Totally normal AAA  . My DS is exactly the same with DH.  Like Wynnster says, it's because you are the main carer.  They feel more vulnerable at bed time too so really want Mummy then.  

Classic example tonight when I was sorting 'stuff' out in DS's room and DH got DS out of the bath and started to 'dry' him to which there were cries of 'Mummy does rubba dub dubs, Mummy do it'!  (rubba dub dubs is what I say when I dry him with the towel in case you were confused!).

All sounds very typical to me and to be expected  

X


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