# Trying too hard?



## mrs_ss30 (Dec 4, 2012)

Is there such a thing as trying too hard to conceive??  I don't mean as in all that 'relax and it will happen' rubbish people who don't have a clue spout, but is it possible to become too focused on it?  I ask as I am just gearing up to start IVF in the next couple of months (all being well) and I'm thinking about everything I am doing and taking to prepare.  I am a strong believer in the mantra 'fail to prepare, prepare to fail' but I wonder if it's all detrimental to what I am trying to achieve.  Here's a list of what I'm talking about:-

Medication/Vitamins: Levothyroxine (thyroid), medication to lower prolactin levels, Pregnacare vitamin, Omega 3, Coenzyme Q10 twice daily, Maca (when I feel like I can stomach the taste).
Diet: Healthy eating to the point of obsession, i.e. 5 portions of fruit and veg daily, most meals cooked from scratch, pressed fruit juices only, handful of brazil nuts every 1-2 days, handful of berries and seeds every few days, limited decaf tea and coffee, no alcohol.
Relaxation: Acupuncture, Zita West cd, pilates at home, reading more to help focus my mind on something else.

I've also started doing things like forcing myself to see friends with babies (I am actually finding being around babies quite therapeutic and it's nice to not be so isolated) and joining in conversations about pregnancy and babies, where before I'd probably have run a mile!  I still find it hard but I'm trying to not allow myself to be as affected by these things and be hopeful that my time is coming.

I ask this question as it just seems like I'm doing an awful lot in my quest to conceive.  Most people fall pregnant while smoking 10 a day, drinking over the recommended amounts, eating awful diets and not exercising at all.  Working toward being pregnant is all I've done for the past 3 and a half years and if I am too focused on it then I don't know how NOT to be.  When I am not doing these things I feel so immensely sad at how my life is and that I have no control over it.  Am I obsessed??  Is there anyone out there who is able to completely switch off from the TTC journey??  

xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i think it all sounds great! there's two things missing

1) get more sleep (try two kiwi fruit an hour before bed)
2) comedy! you need to break up all the 'effort' stuff with some plain and simple laughter. so break out the box sets of whatever makes you laugh! it's good as a relaxant.

good luck! it's important to feel like you did everything you could, for your peace of mind. even though at the back of your mind is a frustration at 'having to' do this stuff. but you sound like you are doing what i'd be doing x


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## Luck2014 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hello Mrs S


I was drawn to your post and when I read it, I thought you sound just like me.  I too believe in preparation and getting things right  which is really good but you do need to relax too.  I say this and find it very difficult myself, however, have been having acupuncture which really helps in the calming down process.  Best of luck with everything.

Gold Bunny - 2 kiwi fruit - that's interesting!  I might try that.


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## moo84 (Oct 14, 2011)

It sounds like you're doing a really good job of getting your body as prepared as it can be for ttc/ pregnancy   You're right that lots of people do conceive whilst doing all sorts of things that are the complete opposite of what would be recommended, but if you have fertility issues (sorry I don't know if you have a diagnosis?) then you have to do what you can to help yourself.

I think of it as being similar to some kids can breeze through school getting straight A's without having to put in much work, other kids have to work really hard, doing a lot of extra study to get the same results. Or some people are able to turn their hand to a wide variety of sports and do them at quite a good level, whereas others would have to train for hours a week to be able to do just at a similar level.

I know those examples are very different to this ttc struggle, but I suppose my point is that if getting pregnant is not something your body is very good at naturally then you are definitely not wrong for trying to give yourself all the help you can. It sounds like you have recognized what you need to focus on, and the fact that you have some protected relaxation time worked into your routine is really healthy.

If you are about to embark on IVF I think you'd be risking more emotionally to not feel like you are doing everything you can, whatever the outcome may be. Wishing you all the best with it xx


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

If you are happy doing the above then do it.  I have been very, very fortunate with both my cycles and only ever went with the advice of the clinics.  Which was more or less everything in moderation.  But no alcohol once any drugs were started.  

Like the others have said, sadly if it does fail, at least you won't blame yourself on what you should or shouldn't have done.

Good luck
X


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## hopefulfinch (Mar 9, 2014)

Hi Mrs S,

I think what you are doing is great... at the very least it will put you in the right frame of mind knowing you have done the very best possible. As the others have said, try to find time to relax as well, as the journey gets bumpier once the treatment start. 

All the best for the next phase!

HF.


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