# A lot happening at once - feeling low :(



## gaia71 (Feb 16, 2013)

I just need to vent and I don't know where to start  .... anyway here goes...

I've been planning DIVF for the last year and plan to go for first IVF cycle in the Autumn having had 2 polyps removed which have held things up slightly... which is great. Trouble is the timings not great. I'm in the process of moving house to somewhere cheaper and the actual move will be taking place just before I'm due to start IVF, in approximately 2 months. Part of me things I should wait because I'm worried the extra stress won't help me conceive but on the other hand I don't want to leave it until the new year when I'll be a year older in fertility years and the chances of success with OE slimmer... am I mad to just go for it... will the stress of moving etc affect things? I know nobody can answer these questions. So I guess I was wondering if anybody else has started TTC via IVF/IUI whilst moving house/job etc (I feel crazy just saying that lol)... but I'd always planned to start in the Autumn once I'd got over the separation from my partner. Feeling so alone with all this at the moment. I'm just scared I'm biting off more than I can chew and worried about any criticism from well meaning relatives/friends (believe me I've had that already and this was before I planned to move house)... incidentally I'm planning to rent not buy currently so shouldn't be a long drawn out process - although trying to find somewhere suitable can be difficult at times (especially in London!)... I want to carry on adding to my savings pot in part to fund another IVF cycle/DE cycle (if first not successful - fingers crossed it is  but need to be realistic)...I don't know what I'm asking for from this post. Just someone to hear me I guess, perhaps share similar experiences. I'm a positive and resilient person - just wish I was more settled than I feel - but hopefully all will be settled 2 months down the line and I can relax, ready to move on to the next stage


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

feel the fear and do it anyway!    the house move will be a distraction from worrying about ivf. it's only when we look back that we realise the mountains we have climbed. just take it all one day at a time. delaying IVF will just mean you never quite find the right time, something will happen every week to make the next week seem better... and the next... nobody knows what is around the corner so strike while the iron is hot!


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

There will never the the perfect or even the right time, just do it.  Just try to make your house move as stressless as possible.


Personally i don't believe that stress has much of an effect on treatment, but i do believe that its very important to be in the right frame of mind for treatment, looking after your mental health is one of the top priorities. So do what you can to make things easier, eg have a removal company move your stuff.


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## benbeculagirl (Oct 21, 2011)

Hi Gaia

So heres my story - had had 2 ivf's and one FET prior to my current treatment.  Had a raft of tests over the last year.  DH and i have always moved around, itchy feet.  Had been in the same place over 3 years, one of those was due to waiting for IVF. So around June decided we just had to get on with life, DH got a new job which entails moving house, I applied for one and we planned a fab abroad holiday with friends next year.
Treatment started end of July, had my job interview (and got it) then went the next week for EC and later transfer.  Got a BFP - will move house and job in 3 weeks, early scan next week.  Now wondering how to tell my new job I'm preg about 2 weeks after I start it!!

Having hung around waiting for IVF to happen I can say for me that it certainly did not put me in a good frame of mind for tx (a bit all or nothing for me) and I'm a believer in getting on with your life at the same time.

As long as YOU are happy with your decision it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks   I wish you all the luck with your move and the treatment


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## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

I would definitely go for it. There'll always be something happening which might also create stress. You've waited til now so don't put it off if you can help it. You mention savings so you could always have another go if this one doesn't lead to a BFP and even if you don't get pregnant this time you might have frosties from your treatment that you could transfer at a less stressful time if you'd prefer that. 

Wishing you lots of luck, Felix xx


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## gaia71 (Feb 16, 2013)

Thank you for the speedy replies - it means a lot. I absolutely agree with each and every one of your comments - and I really to think there is never a right time - certainly not in the average person's life... and life's too short for regrets and finding reasons not to do it given the opportunity... so I will stick to my plans and try to get my body as fit and healthy as possible  ... My biggest vice is caffeine. Does anybody know the best time to start cutting down on caffeinated drinks etc - before a treatment cycle starts. Daft question because it's probably a good idea to quit or at least reduce now.


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

really just cut right back straight away to wean yourself off, but don't panic about stopping altogether it's stressful enough without that, if you want the odd cup of coffee or bar of chocolate just have it.


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## benbeculagirl (Oct 21, 2011)

Taylors decaff filter coffee is good - its made using swiss water method, which means no nasty chemicals such as solvents used to get rid of the caffeine


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Just make an agreement with yourself that you will only have one coffee a day, say in the morning, no big deal but leave it at that.  I drank coffee through my treatment and through my pregnancy, im actually having a coffee now   .  But i only had one, one a day.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

i moved onto decaff in 2006 and have never gone back I don't miss it- I do have chocolate !  and if there is only a choice of caffeinated coffee and tea I choose weak tea as it there is generally less caffeine in it. I do have carbonated drinks but try to have diet and caffieine-free.
I like Cafe Noir decaf coffee. All the high street chain of coffee shops do decaf.
Good luck
l


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## Diesy (Jul 19, 2010)

Gaia71 - I'm exactly in your boat.  Wow, check out the view!  But seriously I'm moving house (fighting repossession -selling or renting it), starting a new job (short temp job) and trying to plan treatment, please can I get some this autumn.  My head is spinning and I'm wondering how the heck it's all going to come together and how I'm going to manage a bfp in these circumstances.  So, erm sorry, not a lot of use to you but solidarity in numbers.  Oh, actually one useful thing apart from empathy!  Yes, it's worth it, action is better than none!  I think we can do it!  (Although annoyed with me because I'm always full of positivity for everyone else and not for me.)  Sometimes, I've found in the past, that everything comes together at the one time, sort of, it's just we don't know how it will work right now.  One step at a time.  
Diesy x


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