# Any Sikhs out there?



## angie1

Hi am just getting to tx stage n found myself getting really panicky! Have been quite religious but lately reading more as I find it relaxes me. By the same token wonder y it's happening 2 us  try not 2 think it 2 much as wud drive me crazy n still a lng way 2 go. So not getting 2 philosophical just thought b mice 2 c if any1 else is out there!


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## Goldrush

Hi angie1, I know it's a year on from your post , but I only just joined the forum.
I'm Sikh , would be nice to chat if your still on the forum? Xxx


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## angie1

Hi goldrush. Yes im still about. Unfortunately still waiting to get going after a cancelled cycle. Nice to hear from u. How r u liking the forum? Ive found it really helpful. Hows ur treatment been? Had some msgs from another sikh lady a while ago who is due to have her twins soon. Lets hope waheguru sorts us out soon 2!


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## ssawhne1

Hey ladies,

Saw your posts and thought I'd say hi.

I am Sikh and just about to start my first round of IVF.

Heres hoping we all get the results we so very much desire


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## Goldrush

Hi both , nice to hear from you both . I'm so glad I joined , just given me that support , sometimes I feel no one truly understands x 

My treatment went well , I'm such a worrier so took it step by step , injections were not bad at all , egg collection went fine although ET was awful. I'm not good with pain . Just worried as my lining was quite thin and they still went ahead with transfer which I was upset about . The positive thing was that my embryos were strong and made it to 5 day transfer . Had this week at home, think everything caught up with me and I was so drained . Got one more week to wait. I have started to get cramps now 😞  as you can tell I'm awake at 4 ! Not sleeping well at night. 

My mum and sisters live quite far from me so don't have any family near me which gets me down sometimes - especially in time like this . Have been trying to listen to part everyday , sometimes it makes me feel strong sometimes I feel sad, saying what have I done wrong . I feel so horrible going to family functions as I constantly get asked the same thing . We had to miss a close function just recently and no one knows why but I was more worried about that than what I was going through ! Crazy x 

I hope your treatment gets started soon Angie and ssawhne hope your treatment goes well . I pray we all get our angels very soon. Xxx


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## angie1

So nice 2 hear from u 2! Think lots of ppl read this post but r scared 2 post. But as we knw nothing 2 hide!! We all knw what u mean abt functions, luckily we dnt go 2 that many but wen ya do its a nightmare! We went 2 one (ddidn't wanna go 4 this reason but had 2) n had family having discussions abt it as if we weren't there, can b very insensitive in our community for sure.  Just have 2 remember treatment is for u guys n thy rnt going through wot u r so just focus on ur own needs. 
Goldrush- u do the right thing takin it step by step.  N im sure they wudnt have gone ahead if lining was an issue. Trust me I had a cycle cancelled n it is not some thing I wish on n e 1! try not 2 worry. Easier said than done I knw. Im up at this hr listening to part. Although not a regilar thing but as treatment gets close (due to start at beginning of june) my minds goin back in2 overdrive. I do part 2 n knw wot u mean abt feelin gud or sad. I find it clears my head but that pain creeps thru sometimes. I have 2 either take a break 2 remember all will b ok or I find a passage that gives me hope. Was not a huge part reader but since tx have got more in2 it. Thi k it helps me cope while dh struggles with it as he feels lots has gone wrong 4 him.
I also live away from family but the ones that I have told r supportive. Sometimes I feel bad like I need my mum but then I feel mayb I put 2 much worry on her so I try not 2 tell her 2 much. Os such a hard thing 2 go thru alone tho so knw we rhere 4 u 
Ssawhne1- welcome 2 the rollercoster that is ivf! Shame we have 2 go thru this at all but atleast we r in a country wiv gud treatments n havethis forum 4 support. Make sure u join a cycle buddies thread wen u get started. It really helped me wen i was cycling.
Jeez ive babbled on 4 ages! Just glad 2 have some responses from fellow ivf paenjis! Lol. Ill keep u both in my ardaas.xx


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## ssawhne1

Hello ladies,

Good to hear from both of you.  Hopefully having each other will help us all remain positive.

I know what you both mean about attending functions.............my story is some what different. I am 40 and single! Have never bean married ( not through lack of trying to find someone). So when I attend functions all I ever get asked is why am I not married and how they consider I have left it too late to get married and how I am considered left on the shelf and yes sometimes our community can be so very insensitive.

Anyway, just after I turned 40 I decided I could not carry on like this so I sat down and had a heart to heart with my mum. I told her the pain I felt at the thought of not having children and that I accepted IVF for a single woman in our community was not the done thing. I was so scared to talk to mum about doing IVF as I had fully expected her to reject the idea but to my amazement she was wonderful. With no questions asked she gave me her full blessing and support to explore my desire by any means that we're available to me. Hearing my mum say this lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and I will be forever be grateful to her for throwing me this life line.

So here I am, having my 1st go.  I am not entitled to have treatment on the NHS so have opted to go abroad. 

At this stage I feel so blessed to have my mums and my sisters blessing I can't even explain in words how that makes me feel but my heart knows that that is one positive that has been achieved and now the other is to hopefully see a BFP once treatment is complete. 

Will keep both of you in my ardas too.  Stay strong ladies......... We will get there in the end.


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## Goldrush

Hey ladies , sorry for the late reply , I've been out in the garden soaking up the sun! Hope your both having a nice day . I've given up with extended family now , we only have one life we need to focus on our selves , they will always talk about something but were the ones living our lives . The amount if times I have wanted to cry but always manage to get through those functions , some one must be looking out for me 😊 sswahne - I really hope everything works out for you - what is important is your happiness , your mum sounds really lovely . Living far away has it perks though , not involved in the day to day politics ! 

Will be thinking of you both everyday xxx take care x


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## ssawhne1

Hello Ladies,

Sorry for the late reply but been away.

I totally agree with your comments - people are going to talk no matter what and to be honest I have got to the point that i accept its my life and whatever step I take, I must then take full responsibility for.  Of course its helped having my mum and both my sisters blessing.

Anyway - how are both of you?


Sonia


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## angie1

Hey ladies hope ur enjoying the sun,  I deffo have  
Ssawhne- wow what a brave decision to make. Glad u have ur family's support. It deffo does help. Im at the point where as long as me n my family r happy I cudnt give less of a flying one wot ppl think. My friend is still waiting 4 mister right but wants kids so think for u 2 b pro active is great.
Goldrush- glad ur enjoying the weather. Am sure its relaxingu at the time u need it most. Ive had that feeling of wanting 2 burst i2 tears...we r a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit 4.
Am ringing the clinic this week 2 c if ican finally start in june. Fingers crossed! X


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## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1 hope the clinic gives you the go ahead to start your treatment........ Fingers and everything else cross for you.

I feel the same......one day I am so strong and then the next day I'll have a wobble. 

I just know for now I must stay as strong as possible and remain positive..............easier said them done at sometimes.


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## Goldrush

Hi ladies xx 

Not having a good day  I went back to work today and usually I am so busy and I forget everything while I'm there but I couldn't concentrate at all . I was very grumpy at work and now feel bad , I didn't cry though so that's one good thing . I just woke up feeling like my period is due and I've been so upset all day . Test is Friday and I know I will be in pieces and I know I will pick myself up but I'm just so tired of doing it. I know I haven't been through half as much as some people have been through and I feel guilty for talking that way. I'm still praying though .

Angie hope you get the go ahead , fingers crossed xx 
Sonia when do you go for treatment ? Will you go by yourself ? Xxx


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## Goldrush

Thanks Sonia x I'm trying to keep strong it is so hard though x 

My first week wasn't bad as I think I was recovering from the pain of ec and et to think too much . 

Bless your heart x from just your few messages I have read you sound like a very strong and brave person. I'm always telling my sisters that we only have one life and live it the way we want to and that will make us happy. I will be thinking of you every step of the way and sending you my best wishes. Have you heard of the zita west cd ? I have been listening to that, all about visualising - it helped me in the first week.

Look after yourself that's the most important thing, if you want to stay in bed just stay in bed - I think after et I was in my pjs for the first few days - I just needed that time to myself. I watched lots of films ! And was lucky to have a few day of sun that always makes me feel better x 

Will you stay there for a few days after et or come home straight away? Make sure you have lots of rest after x I've been having acupuncture for nearly a year, she has been wonderful - she's been like a counsellor to me as well. She gave me so much more information that  I got from any of the doctors ! I sometimes find it hard to talk to my mum and sisters, I think because I don't really want them to know how upset I actually am. Do you go to the Mandir at all? My mum and i used to go quite often, I always find it so peaceful there - you should keep a small Ganesh murti with you - he's the remover of all obstacles . Whenever I look at mine, i always get reminded that it's not the end. Hope I'm not sounding too preachy ! 

Take care xxx


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## ssawhne1

Good Morning Goldrush,

How are you feeling today??


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## Goldrush

Hey , just got home from work, hope you are ok ? Xx

Not very good , I did a test this morning I know I should have waited but I couldn't help it and it was negative. And I know deep down it hasn't happened , I feel like my period is coming and it's got worse over the day. I barely held it together at work today , I just wanted to sit and cry at home. I know it sounds silly but what if it's not meant to be for me, what if I go through it again and again and that's it . I never imagined this , I feel so sad at the moment and angry . I know  crazy but I'm already thinking great have to face another function with all those comments and one day I won't be able to hide my tears . I know I will pick myself up again - but I just prayed so much and I get so upset thinking what have I done wrong , why won't god listen to my prayers x


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## angie1

Aww goldrush my hearts breaking 4 u right now   . Make sure u take time 4 u n let all ur tears out. Only then will u b able 2 get ur strength back. I haven't been thru a cycle yet but was devestated wen mine was cancelled so can only imagine how u feel. I have said to dh dnt thi k am strong enough to deal with a bfn so trust me u have no need 2 feel guilty 4 feeling dwn. And as 4 god not listening 2 ur prayers am sure there is light onthe horizon. Ive been thru some right [email protected] and at the time I didn't c the reason y god wud punish me. But wen things fell in2 place it became clear. This ivf has got me thinking it must b the same thing and it gives me hope. Please dnt lose hope.xx
Sonia- not long til u fly out now. Am sure there's a mixture of excitement and nerves. Really am in awe of u lady going it alone! Wish I had ur strength! One thing ive learnt thru all my bad times is to listen 2 my heart n follow my gut so think ur deffo doing the right thing. I am debating not telling my mum abt this cycle as its hard wen I talk abt it n dnt want her worrying even more. But thn I need mums cuddles! I go 2 gurdwara 2 but its a shame I have 2 dodge auntyjis trying 2 get gupp shupp Asking Iif im preggers Yet.
Best get dinner made. Chat soon.xx


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## Goldrush

Thank you Angie x I think I was holding my tears in all day and I just cried when I came home and I feel bit better , but will have to go through it all again on Friday ! Have next week off so that will give me time I need, I just know when I see my mum I'll be in floods - I can t help it when I see someone who knows and have that caring look I just can't help it - I suppose it will be a good release. When do you hear from the clinic Angie ? I wish I could go to the gudwara today - there isn't one close to us - and at moments like this I just want to go and be there, i always feel strength when I go. 

Take care ladies xxx


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## ssawhne1

Awwwwww Goldrush, I've just read your post and my heart goes out to you. I just don't even though what to say other than I feel your pain and so hope and pray it's a case of the test being done too early and that there is still a chance for the test on Friday.  

It must be so tough for you. I cry at everything and the lady few weeks have cried a lot but sometimes I find crying and just letting it all out helps. We all all only human so don't beat yourself up for getting upset and crying. It's natural to have all those feelings and emotions. 

Am here if you need anything.

Yes, I fly out in a couple of days. I am more nervous than excited and to be honest I swing from positive mode that it will work to negatives thoughts of not standing a chance................

Stay blessed ladies........


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## angie1

Hey goldrush. Glad ur letting it all out of ur system. Hope fridays ok 4 u. Just remember ur snow babies are waiting 4 u so ur way ahead of where u were b4 the cycle- all is not lost (although we think it sometimes! ) u shud listen 2 shabad on YouTube.  My punjabi isn't fantastic so I go on 1s  with translations. 'Har jio' moves me but think its coz I have lots of guilt frm the past so sure u'll find something 2 help ease ur pain. Close ur eyes n its like being at gurdwara 
I ring the clinic on friday, each time its been delayed I've been a wreck so am not looking 4ward 2 the call in case delayed again.
Totally relate to 'the mum look'!!! Dunno how they do it. No matter how strong ya try 2 b thy just send ya that look n ur in floods! Think its just that love n knwing they've got ur back always.
Sonia try 2 stay positive.  Whatever will b will b so no use worrying (says the worlds biggest worrier!)Ive gone back to not sleeping well n Iit ain't even close like u! I never used 2 b a big crier but ur right we need it 2 cope.


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## ssawhne1

Hello Ladies,

Yes, it so hard to stay strong and continue putting on a brave face but its a new day today..............

sending you both lots of big hugs and warm wishes.


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## Goldrush

Hi Angie and Sonia xxx 

Hope you Both had a good day xxx 
Thankyou for your message Angie- my punjabi is terrible lol so I might try that , I listened to the shabad you said - it made me so tearful . I hope you can let go of the past and move forward xx do you recommend any other nice shabad to listen to ? 

I have been a mess at work today ! I started bleeding today and it's gotten heavier, I know it's my period deep down. I managed to keep it together, I didn't want to come home because it will be harder for me to fav everyone when I go back. Still have to test Friday x at least I can start dealing with it, but it will still be painful to see that negative ! I'm feeling better about trying again though , talking to my acupuncturist reassured me. And I knew first time I would be very lucky . 
I had to tell my sister to tell my mum because I know I won't be able to talk ! Dreading telling my mother in law ! I'll leave that to dh ! 
Sending you both my love , thought about you both today x


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## ssawhne1

Hello Ladies,

Sorry to hear about your bleed Goldrush and totally understand how difficult it must have been for you to tell your mum. That's kind of one the reasons I've not told my mum when I am going because just don't think I could face telling her if it doesn't work but am trying to remain positive and tell myself it will work.

Angie, why has your treatment been delayed each time? Is the clinic you are using at least supportive

Sending big big warm hugs both your ways......... Stay blessed


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## angie1

hello ladies
sorry to hear you had a tough day goldrush   big hugs to you. it is very hard to face people i'm sure so you do right getting your sister to do it for you. and yea get dh telling the saas, we can't do everything for them! glad ur feeling better about trying again, takes a lot of strength to do that. that shabad is very emotional isn't it!?! everytime I listen I get teary but it's so calming and peaceful at the same time (if that makes sense). there are some others I like, i'll note them down and message you. and thanks I am moving forward, with the help of waheguru and the dh sent for me 
Sonia- they keep delaying treatment for refurbs or coz test results haven't come back on time. it's getting ridiculous now but they just keep stringing us along. dh doesn't want to move as he thinks we'd think 'what if...' later. really need to get going as is getting me down...wasted a year now. hope you are remembering to keep a positive mental attitude. all systems go soon, you've come so far am sure you'll face this with the same braveness (is that a word? cudn't think of a better one!ha).
shattered after a day of work and the redecorating so gunna luv ya & leave ya for now. love to both of you. chat soon.xx


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## Goldrush

Hi ladies x hope you are both well  

Had a better day , awful cramps but got distracted with work things which took my mind off things for the first time, so that's a good sign. I talked to my manager today and she was so lovely to me , which makes me cry even more ! Still have to test tomorrow , will be glad to just do it and get on with things. My body feels like it's recovering , I haven't eaten properly for few days just lost my appetite x I am lucky to have good friends at work who have been supportive x 

Angie hope you get on ok with your call tomorrow - don't let them mess you around, you will feel better when you get the ball rolling xx 

Hope you are ok too Sonia x not long to go , take care of yourself xx


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## Goldrush

Morning Sonia x I've been up since half 3 ! Have such a bad headache now , test was negative - which I knew after the bleeding. Still hurts though . Got work today then next week off so least I can have some time xxx

I'm glad you got there safe and well. Is the transfer Sunday ? Hope you can relax a little before the day . Fingers crossed for you x 

Take care xxx


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## angie1

Morning ladies.  Woke with a migraine 2day, need to get my brain outta overdrive! Make the call this aft so shall keep u updated. Have a feeling my house move, ivf n family party r all gunna happen at once- is always the way!
Gold rush- was hoping there'd b a miracle 4 u soo sorry there wasnt. Take next week 2 focus on u.  Sometimes can get so caught up in ivf we 4get to live! Glad ur manager n friends were so supportive, am sure it helps. Ive not told n e 1 at work as In the past personal info got to nosey ppl so keeping itto myself!
Sonia- nice to hear ur staying somewhere homely n warm. Its throwing buckets down here! Hopefully the weather will help u chill b4 sunday. Will b thinkin of u n sending positive vibes ur way.
Keeping u both in my paart.xx


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## Goldrush

Thank you both xxx 

I spoke to clinic today , I have a review meeting in two weeks time and I'm prepared with all my questions about this cycle, the nurse also said I can have my frozen cycle after my next normal period and then ring in the following period starts. So looks like August / September . Will keep trying naturally but not going to put pressure on myself , I think your right Angie I need a bit of my life back . So glad to have broken up today . 

Hope you had a relaxing day Sonia x all the best for tomorrow will be thinking of you xxx 

How did you get on today Angie ? Hope it all went well xx


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## angie1

Hello peeps
Gold rush- glad ur moving forwards with ur next cycle. We had 2 wait months for a review so weeks is good going. Enjoy ur timeout.
Sonia- glad ur lining results  were good. Hopefully the stage is set 4 a successful transfer n sticking!
As for me rang the clinic a few times n finally got a call back...to say they dnt knw if we can go agead until Wednesday.  More waiting.  Hope they dnt string us along now. Had a rubbish day so chillin in bed watching tv n eating junk food


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## Goldrush

Hey there , 

Sonia all sounds positive - wishing you all the best for today xxx 

Angie sorry you had a rubbish day , keep fighting for your appointment don't give up x have you thought about a different clinic ? Hope your feeling better today xx 

It's pouring with rain here ! I'm still so exhausted , just want my energy back x planning on a lazy day xx


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## Goldrush

Hi Sonia , all sounds really positive xx keeping everything crossed for you xx 
Have a safe flight back and I agree don't test early , I did it and it's not worth it xx
Take care xx


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## Goldrush

Ah Sonia x try not to read any stories and just concentrate on yourself for the next two weeks - it is hard x once you get home I'm sure you will feel better x wish I could say something to make you feel better x

It's such a hard journey x


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## ssawhne1

Thanks Goldrush.

I think I am going to stay off this site for a bit now otherwise I am going to drive myself loopy.

Stay blessed

Sonia


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## angie1

Hi ladies. Hope ur both well.
Sonia- wow how fantastic!  Dont let bfn stories get u down, keep the PMA. Remember ur in the final leg now. Uve done really well to get so far. I was going to suggest u stop looking at other forums as it can get in ur head. Ive only just started using it again after my cancelled cyce as it got me down. Everyones different n no one can predict. Hope n pray tho u get a bfn.
Goldrush- hppe ur having s noce chill n getting ur energy back up. Hope the weather improves 4 u.
Thought of u both at gurdwara today. Was hard as was a paath for a new baby boy but gotta remember nothing is in our hands. Just gotta wait til waheguru answers our prayers.xx


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## Goldrush

Hi Angie x 

Yesterday must have been hard for you , hope you are ok xx
Today is the first day I have felt like myself physically - much better in myself energy wise- I actually did some cleaning and that kept my mind off things x spoke to my mum today and I was ok , I still have my moments when I stop and I start to think negative but I think it's part of the process. It's just going to take time for me x anyway hope you are feeling better and hope to chat to you soon - dh and I are off out to eat for first time in what seems like ages ! Be good to get to get out of the house xx take care xx


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## ssawhne1

Hi ladies,

Hope you are both well and making the most of the weekend even though the weather is naff!!

Goldrush, glad to hear you're feeling a bit back to your old self. Cleaning always helps take my mind of things too but then I do have OCD

Angie, hope things are good with you


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## angie1

Omg sonia jus realised put bfn instead of bfp!!! U r free 2 give me a chappaer 2 get my head outta the shed! Sorry heads all over at the mo with house, ivf n family stuff! Really did pray u get bfp, only the best 2 both of u.xx
Goldrush- glad ur feeling urself. Hope u enjoyed ur time out with dh. Always helps to have a chill. Weather here is pretty good so hope it is where u r.
Cant think at work 2day. Really need to hide my mobile 2 stop me getting distracted! X


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## ssawhne1

Hey no worries Angie - I knew you meant BFP.

Hope you both are doing well.


x x x


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## Goldrush

Hi ladies , hope your both ok xxx 

It's been raining here all night and still is , but I quite like it when I'm at home listening to the rain ! Been doing jobs this morning around house , more cleaning . We are planning on moving house , lady is coming to value this weekend and talk about selling - so that's exciting - need a project to take my mind off things, so hope everything goes smoothly ... Hence all the tidying ! 

When I went out yesterday I saw lots of little children so happy with their mums and dads and my heart just had this ache, when will it happen for me I kept thinking. 

Sending you both my love xx


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## angie1

Sonia- thanks. Hope ur feeling well.
Goldrush- knw wot u mean.  We went to the park n kept thinkin the same  ohha house project's always good. We should have a completion date soon.  Once got that think ill b excited- 2 scared sommat will go wrong to get giddy yet!
Watchin dramas with the saas (is it just me or r they all the same just at different times? Lol) chat soon


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## Goldrush

Hey Angie , all those dramas end up having the same storyline in the end lol ( they still had me engrossed though lol) my dh doesn't let me watch them anymore , I used to watch 3 different ones ! Lol 

Are you still speaking to clinic tomorrow ? Will be thinking of you xx 

Sonia - how are you feeling ? Hope you are well xx 

Night ladies xx


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## ssawhne1

Hello ladies,

Hope you are both well.

I'm ok............ Go from feeling positive and then negative all within the same hour lol. 

Angie, good luck if you are speaking to your clinic tomorrow. I hope they give you the support you need.


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## angie1

Sonia- try sticking to the positive thoughts. This ivf malarky really can do ur head in eh! 
Goldrush- ha thy all have the evil nau, the strict saas, someone coming back from the dead n a lookalike but ur right still addictive!
Had no call so rang at 5.  Now sayin thy'll knw tomorrow morning.  Hate that lifes been on hold so long!


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## ssawhne1

Hey ladies.......I'm feeling much more positive but at the same time being hopeful and realistic.

Angie, I can not believe your clinic is messing you around like that. How awful that they think it's ok to treat you in this way. Have you thought about perhaps making a compliant? It's not acceptable for them to muck you around like that!

Sending you lots of positive vibes and hope the clinic gets their act together and starts to show and treat you with the respect you deserve.

Sonia


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## Goldrush

Hi ladies , hope you are both well. 

I can't believe how the week has flown by so quickly, back to work next week ! My appointment is next week and I'm scared about what they will say - I always get so nervous ! I'm already starting to worry about it x feel like I'm being able to put the cycle behind me and starting to look ahead. Still feel scared about the unknown. 

Going to try and make the most of the weekend now and then it will be all go next week  xxx sending you both my love x


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## ssawhne1

Hi Goldrush.

What is the appointment next week for? Is it to go through your options for future treatment or is it to go through this cycle that you went through?

Have a good weekend 

Sonia


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## angie1

Hi ladies.
Goldrush- its always awful b4 appointment s isnt it!?! Iget anxiety jus calling them up! Ha. Just remember u've been thru the worst n now ur just fine tuning to get ot right.
Sonia-hope ur keeping the pma. Me n dh just had a chat last night abt complaining to hfea. Is getting beyond a joke. Worse that thy keep stringing us along so we think better not go elsewhere n miss our chance but it just isnt happening.
Tge hospital didnt call today so on a bit of a downer but very angry. Think am gunna have 2 go full b*tch mode 2 get some respect!


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## Goldrush

It's a review meeting , It's just come round so quick , sure it will be fine x

Angie I hope the clinic sorts itself out quickly , could you not talk to another clinic about your situation and see what they say about waiting times if you wanted to change ? Even just emailing them? They are quite good when giving out information ? Wish I could help you more xx

Take care both xx


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## ssawhne1

Hi Ladies,

Hope you are both well.

I have been keeping myself busy and have not yet driven myself insane. I've been listening to this shabad on YouTube. It's called Mittar Pyare Nu and is performed by piano by jari and Rosh.......take a look at the link below. Have really found this very soothing.....let me know what you both think.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd86_f0AiGE
1 Apr 2014 - Uploaded by Rosh Landa
Performed by Jari and Rosh (Piano) at Newcastle University 2014 ... Guru Gobind Singh ji shabad Mittar Pyare Nu by kamphull 96,630 views ...

Hope you both have a good weekend


Sonia


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## Goldrush

Hi Sonia and Angie  

Just wanted to say hello xxx 

Listened to the shabad , it's very emotional x

I've been trying to get back into my yoga practice - it's been a while since done any - I was tired after 10 minutes ! Need to keep practising everyday I think !

Had our house valuation and I felt quite excited talking about the whole moving process! ... Was nice to have that feeling about something ! 

How are you both ? Hope your having a nice weekend xx


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## angie1

hi ladies
well think the hospital have finally got sick of me. they've given me cyclogest (eugh!lol) to delay AF then they're guna see if we can go ahead by thecycle. rubbish not knowing what's gunna happen.
goldrush- DH wants to stick it out as he thinks may be a reason for delays & will think'what if...?' if we move now. thanks for the kind words, always nice to know someones thinking of u.x (deffo moving ater this cycle tho!). was thinking about yoga the other day as it was on tv, really need to get my butt in gear!
Sonia- listened to the shabad, was really nice. hope ur wait isn't driving u 2 mad!
I went to the gurdwara today. just zoned every1 out and found it really uplifting. the kirtan and path really helped and god knows I've needed it after a bit of a downer week. don't worry tho had a word with myself and did path which really got me out of it.
hope u ladies have had a fab weekend, mine involved ice-cream and walks with DH which is always good. chat soon.xx


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## ssawhne1

Hello Ladies,

Hope you both had a good weekend.

Angie - Icecream and walks with DH sounds fab. Hope the clinic finally get their act together and get on with helping you get started with your treatment

Goldrush, good to hear you are getting back to your yoga.........

I've been listening to Zita West each night to try and help me relax...............its seems to be working so thats good.

Its Monday morning again so back to the daily grind.......................have a good week both of you.


Sonia


----------



## Goldrush

Hi ladies , 

Angie that's really good news - just keep on at them that's the only way ! Hope you can get going as soon as possible xx Sonia gal you are feeling a little relaxed x

Angie you should definitely try yoga , it is really relaxing - I need to keep motivated with it though - I get so lazy sometimes ! 

I've been getting things ready , back to work tomorrow ! Feels like I've had a long time off but all of a sudden I'm back ! I always get butterflies , but know I will be fine x want to get wed out of the way as well then I'll be able to relax a little x

Hope you both had a nice day xx take care x


----------



## Goldrush

Hi ladies , just thought I'd say hello xx 

Hope your both ok and have had a good week xx


----------



## angie1

Hey ladies.  Hope ur both well.  Been a busy bee this week trying to get the house sorted.
Gold rush- I am deffo gunna look into doin yoga,  looks relaxing. How was ur appointment?  
Sonia- hows tge wait going? Hope ur relaxing and thinking positive. 
Absolutely shattered so gunna have an early night (im a buddhi I know!). Chat soon.x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hello ladies,

Hope you are both well.

Goldrush, any knews on your appointment?? Hope the clinic are being good to you.

Angie, good to hear you are considering starting yoga.

The 2WW as you can imagine was a very anxious time! I have the upmost respect for all those ladies who have found the courage, strength and determination to go through this process time and time again.

  Fortunately my 2WW resulted in a BFP!!!!  I did the HPT on Wednesday and then my clinic requested that I have two blood tests done 48 hours apart to ensure my HGC levels are doubling and that this was not just a chemical pregnancy. I got the 2nd blood test result back yesterday which confirmed the levels had doubled.

I am still in a daze really.  Have so many mixed emotions but my heart is filled with joy.

I know I will face a lot of negativity and insults from the community and that is going to be very difficult for me to deal with but all I can do is take one day at a time.  


Hope you both have a wonderful weekend.

Sonia


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Sonia, 

That is brilliant news xxx don't think about anybody else , just look after and focus on yourself xx take care xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Thank you Goldrush.  Hope all is well with you.

X x x


----------



## angie1

Wow sonia thst is fantastic news!  Dont let ur spirits b dampened bthinking of 'them'. They can't live ur life 4 u n they will always have sommat 2 say! Enjoy ur pregnancy and the support of ur family. Pray u have an easy and healthy 9 months. Eeek, gives me hope so thanks 4 sharing.x
Gold rush- wont b long til its our turn now. Any news on dates 4 ur next cycle? Hope ur relaxing to get ur body ready.  Need ro look into yoga seriously- let me knw if u have any recommendations. X
Well as 4 me just hoping I get to start next week so fi gers crossed. Hope its nice where u are,  chat sn.xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Thank you Angie1,

I must admit I am very anxious about the community and I know in my heart they are going to reject me but that is the price I have to pay I guess for having a baby while being single.  

Both my sisters have been wonderful and knowing I have their support makes this journey a little easier for me.  My mum is a little shocked even though I had her full support before I started treatment. I think she is more shocked at how quick it has all happened so I guess it's going to take her time to get use to the idea now that it is a reality.

Anyway, enough about me. Wishing you both every success with your treatment, sending you lots of baby dust and here's hoping you both get your BFP.

Keep me updated girls 

Sonia


----------



## Goldrush

Hi ladies,

Sorry haven't had a chance to reply sooner, it's been very busy at work! 

Hope you are both well x 

Any news Angie from the clinic ? Hope your looking after yourself Sonia xx

Take care both xxx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey ladies,

Was thinking this of you both just yesterday.

I'm looking after myself but don't really feel I can enjoy this pregnancy until my extended family knows.  I am so fearful of their rejection towards not only me but my mother and my sisters too. I know I should not care but the reality is I do.

Angie, how are you getting on with your clinic

Hope both you girls are having a good weekend.

Sonia


----------



## angie1

Hi ladies.  Hope ur well. Sooo...I finally started tx! Started on 14th june n ec due 25th. Jyst so scared gunna b cancelled again.  Feels like have waited so long n didnt expect to start that am really nervous n unprepared.  
Sonia- you've come so far u have to try to enjoy ur pregnancy.  The ppl who care the most about u will b ok with everything. Its times like this ppl show their true colours n u know whos there for u. Am sure ull b suprised at who stands shoulder to shoulder with u. Uve done a brave thing n ur getting something amazing from it. Ur mum n sistas r there 4 u n ur mum will b happy if u r.
Goldrush hope ur well. 
Remembering u both in my paath. Chat soon.x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie,

So good to hear from you and wonderful news to hear you are starting your treatment. Stay positive and keep believing the treatment will work. Have no doubts and only positive thoughts...........

I had a bit of a bad day today. I let the stress get the better of me and then noticed a slight pinkish bleed. Panicked and got myself straight to the hospital. They checked me out and said there is no cause for concern but they have moved my scan forward to this Thursday. Today's events made me realise I need to stop worrying about the community and realise my baby now comes first and that means no more stressing.

Goldrush - how are things with you?.


Keeping you both very close in my thoughts and prayers


----------



## angie1

Oh sonia wot r ya like!! Glad everything was ok, looks like u got the kik up the bum needed to put everything in perspective! U need to concentrate on you n bubs now. That said am totally stressed out- et is the same day as house move! Aaaarrrgh! Cnt believe everything has fallen on the same time. Just trying to block everything out n chill at the mo.
Gotta get to work.  Chat soon.x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie,

I know its easier said than done but try not to stress.  You need to stay focused and positive.  I am sure other memembers of yoru family can sort out the house move.  You just focus on your ET and staying as calm as possible.

I used the Zita West CD and found that helped me relax.

Am here if you need any thing at all.

Stay blessed my love.


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Sonia and Angie , 

Just thought I would say hello , have not really been on forum trying to have a break from the fertility part of my life , but wanted to see how you were both doing x 

Glad everything was ok Sonia x take care of yourself x 

Angie it seems very busy for you with the house move , but it will be a good distraction xx hope your keeping well x 

Have a good weekend x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hello ladies,

Hope you are both well.

Goldrush, I can understand you wanting a break from the whole fertility thing. Hope when you are ready to start your journey that it all works out for you.

Angie, hope the house move all goes well and hope this is the start of all things new for you.

I had another bleed in the week so my midwife moved my scan forward.  The scan was on Friday, they saw two sacs.  One with a heartbeat and one that was empty.  They suspect the bleed I had in the week was the loss of one of them.  I am saddened but also know I am blessed that I still have one with me.  Hoping and praying this one stays with me.

Hope you both have a lovely weekend and are enjoying the weather.

Sonia


----------



## angie1

hi ladies. 
well all being well tomorrow am set for ec on weds and et on. really want this to go well this time. lukily been so busy have managed to not freak out...yet!
Sonia- sorry to hear one sac was empty. must have been a very weird emotion to on the one hand to see one heartbeat and know the bleed was the other. hope ur ok, but like you say have to concentrate on bubz. 
goldrush- nice to hear from you. totally understand you taking a break. I had a cancelled cycle and couldn't bring myself to come on for about 8 months!! take ur time to get ur head straight and look after yourself.
went to the gurdwara today. was so uplifting as they did simran for awhile. there's some on youtube, type in Sikh voice simran- I used it during the week when needed a clear head. also a guy did a shabad about waheguru giving us everything we need when the time is right...had to fight back the tears!! prayed for you both.
chat soonxx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi Angie1

Hope all goes well for EC and ET.  Will be thinking of you and sending you lots of positive vibes and will keep you in my prayers.


Good luck and all the best........stay positive 


X x x


----------



## angie1

Hi lladies.  Had my app t today. Got abt 11 eggs but high risk of ohss so almost cancelled.  Hada good cry but thn all ok. Going ahead on weds undwr their watcful eye.
Sonia- all vibes n prayers welcome so thank u. 
Roll on weds xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1,

Good news about the collection of your eggs. Take it easy and rest as much as you can before ET........


Have everything crossed for you.


Here catch.............sending you lots of sticky sticky baby dust


----------



## angie1

Hi ladies, hope ur doing well. Well had ec yesterday all ok but got really sick from the anaesthetic  they got 8 eggs of which 7 were mature. Got a call this morn that 4 fertilised so am quite happy.  Just praying they get strong n stick for me! Thsnks for the baby dust- I completely smothered myself in it!!!


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1

Thats wonderful news about your eggs and the number that fertilised.  Keeping every thing crossed for you that they ALL remain strong and when you have them transferred they stick.

Do you know how many your clinic will allow you to transfer

Will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Stay strong, focused and positive....................

Sonia


----------



## angie1

Hi ladies hope ur doin well. Had et on wfri. Only 1 emby made it but by the time of transfer it was a 4aa so thy r hopeful. Im trying to b realistic as knwvwill b devastating if hasn't worked. Dh is much more excited. Trying to keep my mind on other things which worked last few days as tge house finally went through.  Havwe woke ip last 2 days anxious tho but listening to simran n paat has helped.
Sonia how are you going? Hope ur taking it easy n enjoying it! 
Goldrush- long tym no hear. Have you arranged ur nextbcycle yet or taking a break from all things ivf?
Thinkin n praying for you both. Xx


----------



## hopeoneday1

hi i hope im not interrupting.
me and my wife are so happy we have found fertility friends forum.. there is so much help on here 
and glad to theres sikhs too.
Im 27 and my Dw here is 23. we recently got married. Since 19 my wifes periods became irregular and was diganosed with primary ovarian failure, we bin told we need egg donation tx for successful outcome.

so most likely we will be going abroad in the near future. 

angie1- we both really hope it works out for you. good luck.


----------



## angie1

Hi hopeoneday n welcome. Always nice to hear from new people, esp nice to hear from a dh as usually (in my experience n e way) thy can struggle to express themselves
We knw thy care but show it in strange ways! Ha. Horrible anyone has to go thru ivf but the forums n chatting on here really help. Lots of ladies r very knowledgeable so u can learn loads. I take a step bak n just visit this page whn goin thru treatment tho as u can drive urself cuckoo!!! Have u ne idea of where ull b going for tx? Lots of ladies have had success abroad.  I did think od like to donate after reading ppls stories but due to my hogh risk of ohss its unlikely  keep on touch.
Keeping myself busy so my mind doesn't wonder today. Will keep u all in my thoughts n prayers.xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1 - please remain positive (I know its easier said than done).  You have a good grade embie and that in itself is a wonderful thing.
You are right to keep busy because the 2WW is enough to drive anyone bonkers.  Keeping you very very close in my thoughts and prayers.

Hey Hopeoneday1 - welcome to the thread.  So good to hear from others out there.  As Angie1 said, its horrible for anyone to go through IVF but being on fertility friends I found it showed me how there are so many people out there wanting the same thing and I admire their courage, stength and determination to contiune with the process given how hard it can be.  I read one amazing success story yesterday - there was a lady who after 22 years of trying to conceive and 19 IVF cycles finally gave birth to her beautiful baby daughter on Monday................now that really is hope and faith rolled up in one.

AFM -I'm still doing good.  A bit uncomfortable with a swollen tummy mainly due to the clexane injections I am still taking and plus the medication I am on.  Hopefully all the injections and medication will stop when I get to 12 weeks so only 5 more weeks to go.................

Right - I need to get back to work.

Have a good day.


----------



## hopeoneday1

thank you for welcoming us so nicely.
well me and dw looking to go greece or spain. we bin lookijng at the clinics and in touch with them sounds promising. but we probably will try one round of ivf to see if we get any eggs from dw.

I had a sperm analysis test and the resuts i got yesterday and my gp said all good but normal form was 1%.


MY RESULT                                                    Reference range
Sperm concentration  56.0x10 ml                  >20x10ml
Motile spermatoza    73%
Progressive Motility    71%                          >50%
Rapid progression      62%                          >25%
Normal Forms            1%                            >5%

Analysts comments written on sheet of paper : Reduced numbers of morpholoically normal sperm.

now i dont understand if its good or bad or ok news.. i mean what are the implications? i understand the 1% is less but what are the implications?


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi Hopeoneday1,

Hope you are well.  I am really not too sure what your results mean but am sure if you post on a general thread someone should be along soon to advise.

I used a clinic in Greece for my treatment and they were amazing.  They were so helpful and friendly and really treated me well.  The clinic I used was called Serum and the clinic director Penny is wonderful.  You will find lots of positive stories on Fertility friends regarding Serum and Penny.

Have a good day.


----------



## angie1

Hi hopeoneday- im no expert but we have male factor so its something I unfortunately have read into quite a bit
Normal forms would basically mean having a normal tail and head. As the referenve says the average is 5prcent.however dont b disheartened as the fact  u have 1pc is still good n if pish comes to shove could go for icsi whete they check for the best looking sperm n ise those tp inject the egg. What I would say is for u n ur wife to get on a healthy.diet n start staking wellman/well woman tablets. As u can c from my signature thyade the world of difference for us! There is a page tells u wot to eat for.motility/numbers/forms but cnt remember and have to shoot off to hospital so will get back to you.
Sonia- take it easy lady. Will deffo b nice once u hit 12 weeks, finally injection free!
Chat ssoon- alway s in my thoughts n prayers
Xx


----------



## hopeoneday1

hi all thanks for your advice and kind words.

me & dw both here on lappy had long day at work. We both went holland & barret and got ourselves somes vitamins and wellman goodies.

ssawhne1- what treatment did you have at greece serum if you dont mind me asking? and what made you choose serum?  Did you have egg donation treatment too? sorry to sound naive and dumb.. did the treatment work?
Im in contact with serum at the moment. 

angei1- thanks for the advice, yes the spain clinic & serum in greece we are in contact with also advised change lifestyle and mirrored exactly what you said. so we definetly making changes there.
What treatment did you have or undergoing? 
Thank you all for your kind words & advice. 

currently serum have told DW to come off HRT and wait 8 weeks then have blood tests to see her bodys natural hormone levels. Then see if own egg ivf is viable or only egg donation will be available. 
take care 
mr & mrs hopeoneday1


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi Hopeoneday1,

Hope you are well and good to hear you seem to be gettingthe correct advise and guidance.

I had IVF at Serum and yes my treatment was succesful.  Before choosing Serum I did a lot of research and looked at lots of clinics here in the UK too but felt that the best option for me was Serum.  I found the clinics here in the UK to be very cold and not very caring.  I felt I was just a number to them and they seemed more concerned about the money side of things which just didn't feel right to me.

I believe Serum is closed for the month of August but sounds like your speaking to both the good clinics in Spain and in Greece.

The only thing I am not sure about is that I do not believe there is may Indian egg donors so not sure if the clinics have explained this to you but there is probably a possibility that you can have eggs shipped in from other locations perhaps??

All the best with your treatment and the good thing is you have at least made a start now with the vitamins etc.


----------



## hopeoneday1

Heyyy

Thanks for reply. 
Yeah that's one of the reason why we want to go abroad. The care was not there & felt like a number or something on a conveyor belt.
The other reason was egg donation in UK is not anonymous so when a baby is over 16 (I think) they are allowed to locate their genetical donor. Whereas going abroad it is anonymous. 
Yes your right no Indian eggs available. They can match physical characteristics such as hair eye and skin colour. For us a healthy baby is all we dream of.

Did you have ivf own eggs? Or donor egg? Did they take long to get you matched? 

Got tomorrow off so long weekend here we go!
Take care all !


----------



## angie1

hey everyone. hope ur all keeping well.
hope1day- hope dh's eggs are good for tx however love ur attitude. a healthy baby is all that matters. we had icsi amd currently waiting to see if it has been successful...the wait is a killer!!! 
Sonia- hope ur taking it easy & got a relaxing weekend planned.
AFM- one week of the 2ww done. started getting af cramps yesterday so feel like its game over. trying to keep positive but is hard. had a bad day yesterday, most likely due to pains. having a run in with a racist b*tch at the gp's didn't help (getting her kikd out tho so won't have to run in to her again!). 
take care, chat soon.x


----------



## Goldrush

Hi there xxx

So sorry I haven't been in touch for a while - it is a busy period at work and I've been bringing work home every weekend ! I have finally caught up so feel less stressed ! 

I am ok thanks Angie , took me longer than I thought to put it behind me . Just waiting for my next period and then I start my frozen cycle . Hope you have been looking after yourself , keeping my fingers crossed for you xxx 

Sonia hope you are taking care too xx

Hope1day welcome and hello  

I have been working all day , going to have a break now and go out for the evening x take care x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey all,

Hope you are all well.

I've had a couple of days away which was nice as its been my first bit of time off since the IVF.

Goldrush - hope AF arrives on time so that you're able to get started with you treatment.  Will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

Angie1 - how are you doing?  well done for getting through week one of the 2WW.  Keeping lots of prayers and positive thoughts for you too.

Hopeoneday1 - hope all is good with you and your dear wife.


----------



## angie1

afternoon everyone
goldrush- so nice to hear from you! glad u have taken time out and come to terms with everything. try not to work too hard! hope AF turns up soon so you can get going with your FET. shall be sending all the luck, love and positivity vibes I can muster for u.
Sonia- am good thanks. back to work today so it's helped take my mind off things (although got LOADS to catch up on!) last few days were a downer but have give myself a whack with the happy stick! moving last week meant hadn't had time to think then as the weekend came brain went into over drive! hope you had a lovely relaxing break.
hope1day- hope u guys are doing well and enjoyed ur long weekend.
better get some rotis made, am hank marvin! chat soon lovies. keeping u in my thoughts & prayers(along with some desperate begging for myself!ha).xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hello All,

Been a mad hectic week at work!!!!

Angie1 - how are you?  Staying positive and focused.  Not long now till you test I assume so praying hard and keeping everything crossed for you.

Hey Goldrush - hope AF has now turned up and that you are about to embark on your frozen cycle.

Can't believe how quick time seems to be going.  Just 3 more weeks and I'll be having my 12 week scan - scared and excited at the same time.

Have a good day all.


----------



## angie1

Hey sonia thanks 4 thevprayers n positivity. Cant belive ur nearly at 12 weeks! Gone so quik, hope u have a happy healthy remainder of your ptegnancy.
Am due to test tomorrow.  Am absolutely terrified! Thinkni know it hssnt worked as af is trying its hrdest to start but still hanging on to a tiny glimmer of hope. Really dnt think im strong enuff 4 all this sometimes. Hry ho.got 2 more goes n shud b glad we got an emby at all!


----------



## hopeoneday1

ange1 your in our prayers tonight. we really hope it works out for you. 
fingers crossed


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1 - still thinking and praying for you this morning.  

Am so hoping its a BFP for you.  

Stay strong and focused and I know what you mean about bricking it when it comes to test day - I was the same.  Wanted to test, then didn't want to test, then wanted to test and so on.........................eventually when the time was right god helped me find my strength to test even if it was at 2am!  lol

Keeping everything crossed for you my lovely.


----------



## angie1

Hi guys. Unfortunately was a BFN for me. Did 2 tests this morning n a blood test just now at the hospital.  Obviously me n.dh r gutted but like everything thats gone b4 hope it will b followed by something even better. The big man never lets us down (just takes timr getting there!) Hsve arranged nxt appointment and am going to keep pushing so we aren't waiting another year!
Thanks for ur prayers n positivity,  has helped me thru. Please keep it up n hopefully sometime soon will have good news to share with u. Xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Awwwww honey I am so sorry to hear your news but your great attitude is exactly what means you are going to achieve success and it's not a case of if, it's just a case of when...........

Be good to yourself  

Will continue to have you in my thoughts and prayers


X x x


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Angie , so sorry to hear your news x hope you will have good news to share very soon xx look after yourself xx

I'm getting ready to break up for the summer holiday now not long to go at work , will be glad to have time to rest before my next cycle starts . Period Not due till end of month yet so still got some time x will be thinking of you x


----------



## Swytz

Hi ladies. Another Sikh here... A scary as it seems that I'm going thru this and we all are we have to be strong. God is great. Why is this so common now? Is it our water our environment I hope people are looking into external factors because I'm convinced. Yes it is horrible attending family functions don't people know not to be so insensitive and I have to say its heart breaking when ppl say they aren't even trying and boom they get pregnant and rub it in your face. I'm very fertile. Arrrggg. Don't ever be horrible to ppl you don't know what could come round to you. My mother in law used to say oh she can't have a child etc and now look at her own daughter in law. They need to just stoppp.... I'm sorry I'm venting. High 5 to the Sisterhood. May God make this journey easier and may the blessing of babies be bestowed upon us all xxx


----------



## angie1

Sonia- thanks for the lovely message. Really does help. Hopefully join u on the pregnancy boards in yhe near future.  
Goldrush- thNks for the message also. Have been nawty eating all the bad foods I haven't had for months to cheer myself up! Bak on the healthy eati g tomorrow.  Glad ur getting going soon, will b in my thoughts n orayers as always.
Swytz- welcome to the board, is always a good place to vent! Deffo agree with u about external factors- eating healthy n organic ss well as lots of vitamins has really helped us. Ppl r deffo insensitive n my mum in law is tge same. Loves s good chugli but u never know ehat might come ur way tomorrow.  Live n let live I say- lifes too short so just b happy! We r given so much yet we take it for granted. This is just a eay for ud to appreciate themiracle we will eventually b blessed with
Take care everyone and thanks again for ur kind words.xx


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Angie , 

You give your self time and look after yourself - I just had to stop everything I was doing that was baby related - I just needed that break x half feel ready for the next one x I know deep down that I will be a mum one day - I just keep holding onto that - keep that in your heart too x

Hi sywtz - nice to hear from you x I'm dreading all my functions that are coming up - but I know I'll get through it - why do they always go for the woman and not ask the man ! I m already feeling anxious - people are just cruel sometimes x 

Hope you are all well take care and best wishes x


----------



## Swytz

Thinking about the strength and the power of our Gurus and may they be with us all today and forever. Waheguru xxx God Bless


----------



## angie1

Hi peeps. Hope u r all doing well.
Goldrush- have taken some time out to get my head straight. Am not really feeling n e thing but know tgat numbness can b a bad thing so am jus keeping busy. Down to see family this week, mums hugs always help sltjo nothing is said. 
Have just found out lil sis is pregnant.  Everyone is super excited and I am glad but part of me feels shud b us. Selfish n feel bad for thinking it but just know ppl r gunna go into overdrive questionning us now. Bit bummed out but doing my part n praying for strenght. Hope all of u r well in yourselves.x


----------



## Swytz

Hi Angie. It's totally ok to be upset. It's natural and it's really painful. When your baby is ready they will come. It's probably having some discussions with God!! I know it's hard but try and stay away from all that baby stuff. I avoid all my cousins with their baby talk at the mo. it's just too painful for me and its totally ok. We have to be kind to ourselves and do things that are good for our souls. It's not a forever thing it's just a thing. Keep the faith and trust in science too x


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Angie , 

Everyone's experience and feelings are different - it took me couple of months to feel ready and strong again - still have my moments but know that you will feel better and you'll have that strength again xx I didn't think I could face it again , but time has helped me x and I actually feel stronger than before maybe because I know what to expect , I don't know x 

I can understand your emotions and feel so much for you right now - my lil sister was pregnant last year and it was such a hard time for me I feel so ashamed saying it - I cried when I found out - it was a mixture of everything - mostly angry at myself for having negative thoughts about someone else's happiness , I just wanted it to be me as well x it's hard - I felt everyone was looking at me , feeling sorry for me , talking about me x all in my head of course x 

I know our time will come - it will , our angels our waiting x sending you a big hug x

Take care and look after yourself x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi all,

Hope you are all well and enjoying the hot weather.  It's been a bit too hot for me but hey I am not complaining.

Angie1, please don't feel bad about your thoughts. The way you feel is totally normal and it's not that you are not happy for your sister, of course you are, but it just reminds you of your own situation...................I use to feel the same every time I'd hear someone else had got engaged. I'd wondered what it was I had done wrong that I could never seem to meet anyone and yet there was everyone else getting married at a drop of a hat! You would not believe the lengths I went to to try and meet someone but for me it just seems it wasn't meant to be.  I truly believe for you Angie it's not a case of if but more a case of when.  It will happen for you, I just know it.

Keeping you all close in my thoughts and prayers.


----------



## angie1

swytz- I like that, thinking my lil bubz is chatting away with the big man  hope it is just a thing for us both. I am going to try avoid the baby talk but is so hard with lots of familys dos coming up. 
Goldrush- I really hope I feel stronger like you soon. am happy to hear you are getting back to it. I kept a brave face as was going to a party when my mum told me. however when I got in I cried for hours. felt really bad but couldn't stop. my other sis kind of understands but they kept going on about how excited they are and maternity clothes...felt kind of insensitive or maybe just me being sensitive! glad i'm not alone in feeling bad for a good thing happening. 
Sonia- thanks for your kind words. It is a shame you haven't met the one as you seem like such a nice down to earth person. I was very lucky to find my dh after a lot of rubbish had gone on in my life, really have to remind myself of that at these times. hope ur pregnancy is going well and the heat isn't making you uncomfortable.
hope and pray you are all right and my time comes soon. praying for you guys to get your bubz soon too. your words as usual have really helped. thanks xx


----------



## Goldrush

Hi there , 

Just wanted to say hello and have been been thinking of you all xx
Hope you are all well x 
Sending you all my best wishes x


----------



## angie1

Hey everyone.  Hope ur all doing well. Have my follow up consultation tomorrow so sjouls fond oit wen my nxt cycle is. Really gonna push 4 more tests fo dh as dnt feel enough has been done to find causea n nxt steps to improve.
Gold rush- nice to hear from u. Thinking of every too n praying 4 positive ouycomes soon.
Love n prayer always.x


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Angie , hope the consultation went ok ? How are you ? Hope you are ok x 

I start dr in two weeks , feeling nervous about it now x


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## Kaur_33

Hi everyone hope you're all good. Are any of you doing your cycles at ARGC? 

I feel so disappointed I found out yesterday my 2nd IUI cycle has failed. I went to the Gurdwara everyday for past month, I've really lost my faith and fed up of husband's family telling me "god will give you a baby in time!". I'm glad I came across this forum and got to read some of your stories I don't feel alone now. 

Have any of you tried IUI then decided to do Ivf? I'm debating whether to do another IUI or just move onto IVF.

Goodluck to those starting treatments this week xx


----------



## Goldrush

Hi kaur33, 

Sorry to hear that you treatment has failed. It's so hard picking yourself up again , but it happens you find the strength to carry on x after three years of trying I was referred for ivf . 

Going through this is so hard with extended family , questions , comments. Try to ignore it but it's so hard ! Here if you want a chat xx take care x


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## ssawhne1

Hi All.

Hope you are all well.

Angie - how did you consulation go?  did you get the answers you were loking for?

Goldrush - good to hear you start treatment in 2 weeks.  Will be thinking of you and keeping you close in my thoughts and prayers.

Kaur33 - so sorry to hear your news.  Is ARGC not able to provide you with details of whether you should try another round of IUI or whether you should move on to IVF?  I was under the impression that ARCG was one of the best clinics in London, so I am surprised that they have not offered you guidance and support?  Also, try and ignore the extended family and their comments - they are never satisfied and always feel it is their right to comment on a siuation that is none of their business!

AFM - I had my scan and everything was well.  I am now 14 weeks.  Its coming up to the time now where I am going to have to tell my extended family.  For weeks I have been worried about it but after seeing baby on the scan, it made me realise nothing else matters other than my baby, so the extended family can either be supportive or go take a running jump!!


----------



## Swytz

Hi Kaur 33. Im so Sorry to hear that.  Its ok to feel down but God has a plan. We are in this world because of him. He will look after you. Hang in there. I'm at ARGC. Just got my immune results an hour ago and I have slightly elevated killer cells. So confused. 
SSA I'm so thrilled for. It's a beautiful lil soul you are be brining into this world. Face up and love it. Love being able to being a mom and taking control of ur life. God Bless you and really forget about anyone's opinion. 
Goldrush feeling excited for you xxx


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## Kaur_33

Swytz - don't worry about the killer cells as they can give you medication for it. I had immune tests done at ARGC and they told me if there are any killer cells I can be given medication (my results didn't show any, so sorry can't advise you further). 
That's great to hear someone else also in same clinic. What's your experience so far of ARGC? I kinda feel they bit disorganised.

Goldrush - thanks for your message. Yes family can be really tough. I've had weddings and everyone keeps asking me when I'm having a baby. In the beginning I used to just smile and say "soon" now I just ignore their message and sometimes say "that's personal" I get so many dirty looks from all the aunties now! Asians are so nosey!

Ssawhne - yes ARGC is one of the best clinic but problem is they don't really spend much time talking to you. I'm still waiting for them to call me back. I think that's really great what you're doing I know what you mean about wanting to be a mother but it's hard finding mister right my cousin is also the same (she's 40 in December). I don't think her parents would be as good as yours, you're lucky. Hope it works out for you. Xx p.s what stage are you at the moment?


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## Goldrush

Sonia - good to hear from you x hasn't time flown by , glad everything is going well x you look after yourself and good on you, the baby is all that matters x don't let anyone spoil the excitement x 

Kaur33- I have weddings coming up ! And I'm dreading the comments and looks ! Sometimes I feel like standing up and screaming out to them x I started avoiding functions, just can't be bothered with it anymore , people are so insensitive x my mum and sisters say ignore it but it's so hard , I'm so sensitive as well , and will be doubly sensitive when I start the medication ! Ahh !

Swytz - hope things will progress now that they have done the tests ? It such a hard journey x praying for us all x and hope one day we will all be talking about our babies on here soon x

Angie - hope you got on ok x been thinking of you x

Sending my love to you all xx


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## ssawhne1

Kaur33, I am so surprised that your still waiting to hear back from ARGC. I just assumed that because they were considered one of the best that their service and treatment would be the best and top notch on every level........

The first clinic I went to was the London's Women's Clinic in London but their service was terrible and it just felt like it was all about the money. I just felt like I was a number to them and all them seemed concerned about was taking my money. Don't get me wrong, of course I know this is a business for them and that they need to make money but along the way they seemed to have lost touch of the personal side of things and that really put me off big time - that's when I started to research treatment abroad and I can honestly say with hand on my heart, the treatment I received from abroad was second to none. They treated me like a human being with real feelings and emotions and they also told me I was their first ever 'Asian Single' patient.

I am very lucky that I have the full support of both my wonderful sisters and my mum.  I know my mum is a little nervous of what the community is going to say but that is to be expected as I know my mum comes from a different generation but none the less she has still given me her support and I know if along the way I fall, they will be there to pick me up.................. I can't ask for much more.  The hospital told me my due date is 4th Feb 2015 and I am a lucky girl as I work for a fab employer where one of the perks of the job is a full year off with full pay........once again I can't ask for much more. 

I truly believe him up there was looking out for me and while I never found my MR Right, god helped me find the strength and courage to go it alone.........


----------



## Swytz

Kaur33 ARGC are definitely precious with their time. Are you waiting for a call about your monitoring cycle? I has to wait a painful week and finally spoke to the doc today. I have been referred to Oxford fertility unit for one free round of ivf but was going to consider doing it only if my immunes came back ok.DH s not sure my results are major NK 19 is 13.8% normal range is 12%. Just soooooo confused. Anyone had similar experiences? Sonia where did you have your treatment?


----------



## Swytz

Lol predictive text but hope you understand what I was saying


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## ssawhne1

Swytz, I had my treatment at a clinic in Greece called Serum.  Can definitely say I made the right decision choosing this clinic but read up loads on it before I made my decision.


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## cheeps

Hi Ladies,

Have just come across your board. Would love to join if you'll have me.

As you can see from my signature I've had 3 fresh attempts all ending in BFN's. I was at the Oxford fertility Unit but DH and I are going to move to ARGC. 

Currently, we're seeing Dr Ramsay (Urologist) to see if he can increase and improve the sperm quality as that's our primary issue. Found out from Oxford this week that they think I have a low ovarian reserve - great!

Am hoping with a bit of time and medication we'll be in a better situation to start again at the end of the year/start of next year.

Both our close families know our issues and are very supportive. Luckily, the MIL isn't a witch! Lol.

Sorry, for lack of personals but I will need to read whole thread before I post again. Hope everyone is well and our dreams come true one day.


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## Goldrush

Hi cheeps x welcome to the thread x

Your comment about mil not being a witch made me laugh 😁 

I'm currently with ofu - but via a satellite clinic - ofu make the decisions but I have all the scans , consultations at the sat clinic - frustrating as when there has been an issue I'm dealing with so many different people ! The clinic I'm at is hopefully going to have finding to treat nhs patients so then I won't have the travel to ofu . I had my ec at ofu - they were so lovely -my et wasn't very nice - the nurse was so horrible , really made me feel worse than I already did ! Hoping this time round I have somebody much nicer ! X  

Sorry  you haven't had success so far , hopefully the new clinic will be a positive fresh start x take care x


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## Swytz

Sonia it's a blessing - your blessing xx
Goldrush sorry to hear your experience was not so nice. I'm praying for your next cycle x
Welcome cheeps100. I think we are swapping! I'm at ARGC moving to ofu as I have a free round on the nhs and ARGC have said its always useful studying previous cycles to learn how your body reacts etc. how is the ofu? I have posted on one of the cycle threads but no one has replied to me   apprehensive now!!
About MILs mine is actually not too bad. Just would say the same nonsense to her own daughter as she would to me so i don't feel picked on I just think she is so old school. Like the other day I got my period and she saw my pads in the bin she came running down and said let me message ur tummy! I was like 'what! Lol mil. I hope my sil is not complaining about my mom but I know my mom is fabulous


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## cheeps

Swytz - Lol about your MIL trying to rub your belly. I would freak out if mine did that. I'm lucky as my Husband moved to my neck of the woods when we got married so I have a nice 1hr 30mins commute to the inlaws which is nice!!

What did you think of ARGC? I'm scared of the distance, disorganisation/chaos and facilities but the results speak for themselves so I have to give it a chance.

In terms of OFU - honestly - facilities lovely and cannot fault that at all, all staff in person are lovely but over the phone they are horrible. They just don't understand how to be sympathetic. By the end of 3 cycles, OFU had just let us down so badly in the way we got treated over the phone and at review appointments with different Dr's saying different things. I personally feel like they don't look into the actual issue and investigate the situation, they just put you straight onto IVF and wait for luck to take it's course. Having said that everyone will have different opinions from their own experiences so don't let what I said put you off. I'm just a bit bitter atm!

Whereabouts are you in terms of waiting to start or have you started?


Goldrush -  Too many different staff members and no one taking ownership at OFU. It is frustrating. Hopefully, this time round you'll have a nicer nurse. Whereabouts are you in terms of waiting to start or have you started?

Ssawhne - Your story is so inspiring. Good on you and I hope everything goes well for you. Too many judgemental people out there. The main thing is you have the support of your Mum and Sisters. How was it going to Greece to do the treatment? Does it work out any cheaper by any chance? Our finances are getting so drained by all this but I just can't give up. I'd do it a million times if I knew I would have a baby at the end of it.

Kaur - Are you able to tell me your experience of ARGC? I want to know what I'm letting myself in for? 

Ladies - are we all based down South?? I'm in Reading.


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## ssawhne1

Hey Cheeps100, welcome to the thread. Yes the treatment is Greece was cheaper but my main reason for going there was the success rates of the clinic and the fact they treated my like a human being.

To be honest even if I had no support from anyone, I would still have gone ahead with treatment as I am now at the age realising you can't please everyone so I may as well please myself............

Wishing all you lovely people success on your journeys and keeping you all close in my thoughts and prayers. 

I'm based in Harrow


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## Swytz

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=324279.0. 
Cheeps this is a really useful thread to read for all the newbies at ARGC. Info on our experiences etc. in a but she'll it's not a warm welcoming experience!! Everyone in my opinion are just order takers and do as Dr.T wants. I never met him but one of his docs saw me. I thought he was really young but actually he knows his stuff and again is just following orders from Dr.T. 
I have completed my monitoring cycle and now waiting for my first appointment letter to come thru for the ofu. They said it should come thru in a few weeks. Another wait game  
Because I'm unexplained they will go straight into ivf. Do you know how long the start of apt to actual ivf. I'm sorry so new to this x

Kaur33 hope you are ok. Thinking of you. Love and blessings to you x

I live in Thame


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## Kaur_33

Hi everyone sorry for not replying sooner, my MIL's had me going round hers everyday to sort out stuff for the weddings we have coming up. I can't be bothered with them it's the last thing I want to do. 

goldrush - Goodluck with the weddings you're going to. Remember have something planned to say if anyone asks when u planning to have a baby. You know what I wouldn't be surprised if we were going to the same weddings it's such a small world. I was complaining about my MiL to the Indian cleaner at work and I found out last week that she's related to my In laws! Oops!

Swytz - I'm okay thanks ARGC called  me yesterday and gave me details of IVF. Really worried as I won't be able to take so much time off work. So been busy with researching and bloody wedding stuff! That's great they giving you a free cycle - how did you manage to get it? Please advise me as I have no idea with funding and have paid myself so far. Can't you ring the clinic and ask about the immune testing? To me it doesn't seem too bad as it's just over the normal range. Hope it works out. Let me know what they say xx p.s apparently they give something in injection form if immune are high - I'll do some research for you.

Cheeps100 - welcome to the forum and sorry about your losses. I also had a miscarriage around 5/6 weeks so I know how that is xx you are so lucky to live so far from MIL. Mine is on same street! 8 houses down. 

In terms of my exp with ARGC: I know they are the best and most ppl go there as a "last resort hope" so in other words when they have failed elsewhere they go there and are successful. But my issue is they are my first clinic so I'm new to this and they have very little time. E.g  When I spoke to doc after first IUI that failed I was upset and asking for advice on what to do he kept asking me what I want to do!  I don't want to put you off so in short yes they are the best and if they can't get anyone pregnant no one can. So my advice is do research before you go there as they have not got time to explain everything. Their waiting room is  full so that's evidence of how great their results are. I personally wouldn't go anywhere else.


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## Swytz

Kaur if you have been tcc for over 2 years or 3 yrs you see your gp who will do some initial investigations and if you fit the criteria I.e tcc over 2 yrs non smoker good bmi under 35 they will offer you a funded round of ivf. Because of where I live in Bucks they only give1 round. You should see ur gp.  Grin and bear and the wedding.  This stuff has to be done x


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## cheeps

Hi

Good luck with all you that have weddings going on. I know how time consuming they are and all the questions that come your way. Luckily, I've just had my Cousin's the other week and I'm done for the year - woo hoo. Another year will goes past with me avoiding the extended family!! So sad to put it that way but find it so much easier to be in my own little bubble.

Swytz - OFU are super quick at starting you. Once we initially saw a Consultant at the beginning of June last year, we then had our down reg appointment at the end of June and luckily got to start on my July period so technically 21 day after that period started which was approx. 11th August last year. You just need to get your bloodwork sorted out from your GP for you and your Partner for - HIV, Hepatitis B Surface Antigen, Hepatitis B Core Antibody & Hepatitis C Antibody. Your GP should be able to provide the paperwork and I would organise that now as it takes 2 weeks and will be valid for 6 months so it's something you can get out the way now and saves time later. We also booked to attend the presentation but I'm not sure if they make you do that anymore. We had to do it as a requirement back then. As soon as you see Consultant, book the presentation asap as they get booked up quickly. That's if they make you go. To be honest we found it really useful as we were clueless about IVF back then. Sadly, I feel like a Pro now after the last year and all our attempts.

Kaur - I feel like I'm going to hate ARGC but the are my last resort to fix whatever we've been doing wrong. Their results speak for themselves so I need to put my thoughts to one side and deal with it. Argh to having your MIL down the road. Hopefully, after all this wedding crap you can concentrate on yourself.

ssawhne - You sound do strong and determined and I love that. You'll be fine when it comes to telling ppl. I'm sure of it. Did you say you were 14 weeks? How exciting. Did you try elsewhere before Greece?


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## ssawhne1

Hi cheeps100,

I have good days where I feel so strong and then other days not so strong.

Greece was the first clinic I ever tried.

Here's wishing you all have a fab week ahead x x


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## Goldrush

Just thought I would say hi , hope everyone is ok xx 

Off to my yoga class tonight , haven't been for a couple of weeks , need to get my motivation back. I don't feel like doing anything at the moment ! 

Take care xx


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## Kaur_33

Hi hope everyone is good, Any positive news from anyone?

I've decided to go for IVF now and not waste time or money on any more IUI's. They put me on a "follicular protocol". Need to do some research! 


Cheeps - you will be fine with ARGC as you've been with another clinic so you have some idea of what go expect n treatment. Don't worry and just get the process rolling of joining them as it took ages from filling in the application form to getting initial consultation.


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## Goldrush

Hi kaur ? How are you ? Do you know when you will start the treatment ? 

I had my drugs delivered yesterday ... So it's all becoming real . Have endo scratch next tues , I'm feeling so nervous about it . Then start down reg on the wed. Trying to be positive but not get too excited x when's your wedding ? Got mine the bank holiday weekend ! Feeling a bit better about it , don't know how I'll be when it comes to it. 

Take care x hope everyone else is well xx


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## angie1

evening ladies hope u are all doing well. nice to see some new ladies about- abvs don't wish this on anyone but if we're in the sh*t might as well b in it together 
Have been on a bit of a downer so haven't really been about. not so much low just find sometimes I can't b bothered with anything! had consultation the other week- yet again feels DHs issues have been swept under the carpet. however I did end up getting bucket loads of bloods done & am having an endo scratch! geez. am thinking may need to go private to dr ramsey as have heard good things.
Sonia- omg can't believa how fasttime is going. 'they' are always gunna talk but 'they' can't live ur life for you. enjoy your pregnancy 
goldrush- thanks for thinking of me (good things I hope!lol). not long to go til ur next cycle. hope ur feeling more relaxed this time round now you know wot to expect. will b praying for a positive outcome for you. have looked into fertility yoga but am yet to actually do it! this weeks the week me thinks.
swytz- hope ur doingwell. bless ur MIL. mine's old school too. was a bitangry she just tutted when I said it hadn't worked tho! then went on to moan about how she wanted it to work this time.u & me both missy! I was like- yea thanks for the support but it's just her way. she doesn't ask a lot to be fair.
kaur33- sorry to hear ur IUI failed. think moving onto ivf is the right move though. sorry to hear u were abit down with the big man. it's easy to do but think what a granthi told me a while back really helps me. she asked if I pray for what I want, I said yes. she said y? god knows what you want & will give it when the time is right. you should pray to get peace of mind. it's ok to ask in ardaas but try to remember god all the time not just when in need. I realised I had been doing that & doing paathas helped to get peace when my head's in a mess (which seems to be a lot lately!)
cheeps100- welcome to theboard. how are you finding dr ramsey? am thinking of paying him a visit. ive got weddings coming up but am trying to get out of them. unfortunately can't avoid my lil sister so easily & feel awful saying it but is getting harder the more she shows  
am just getting my ivf head back on now. time for the super heathy eating, exercise & vits & supplements to start. have been told my next cycle will be oct or nov, tbh am hoping nov so I can know we've given our bodies to get ready. 
hoping & praying for you all.xxx


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## cheeps

Angie1 - Dr Ramsay is honestly the loveliest man I've met during all this time. He genuinely cares and see's that men are just completely ignored in this whole process even though they make half a baby too!

We saw him for the 2nd time today. First time, he told my Husband he needed to do a semen analysis and blood tests and today he's given him a private prescription for Tamoxifen which should increase and improve our sperm levels. He'll be on them for 3/4 months and we will see him again in Nov to see how it's all going.

I don't know how all these IVF clinics can get away with not looking into male factor issues and trying to resolve or improve issues rather then wasting money and trying IVF again and waiting for luck to take its course. It's so frustrating but hopefully we're on the right path now.

I wish you all the luck in the world x


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## Goldrush

Hi Angie - so nice to hear from you , was worried about you x glad you are starting to feel more positive x use this time to build yourself up xx you should definitely look into a yoga class - if you speak to the teacher he or she will give you specific poses that can help x hope you can find something local to you x did you try Acupuncture?  I can't remember if we talked about it x I had a horrible day yesterday , went for the endo scratch and they couldn't do it because my uterus is retroverted they tried very hard but in the end had to stop . Felt quite low , think I worked myself up to it . The nurses were amazing though , wish they were all like that x I felt better today , went to work for the morning and I enjoyed being back. X just takes my mind off it all . Started down reg this morning , felt like I waited so long and now it's getting closer . 

Hope everyone else is ok x thinking of you all x take care x


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## angie1

Hi everyone hope ur wll doing well. Ive been keeping busy with work trying to not drive myself mad!
Goldrush- so nice to hear from u. How is the downregging going? Seems like we wait 4eva to get going n thn it jusyt goes by so quickly. I deffo felt that way last cycle- partly as we didn't knw if ot was going ahead or not! I started yoga the day I last posted. Just put infertility yoga for beginners in utube n there r a few good short vids on there. Dunno if its helping but since ppl have started to say im looking thin! Put weight on from  cancelled cycle so deffo a benefit n wish id started earlier! Sorry ur endo scratch didn't go ahead. Im worried as thy sometimes have problems checking me 2.
Cheeps100- thanks 4 the recommendation. Am deffo wanting to c him, have my dates appt on the 9th so just gunna check it wont affect nhs goes. It really is very frustrating that male factor isn't investigated properly. Seems a waste to go on without a thorough check. Even just for pwace of mind.
Keeping u all in my thoughts n prayers. Take care. Xx


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## ssawhne1

Hello All,

Hope you guys are all well.  How is everyone doing?  and what stages are people at?

I'm am having my 20 week scan this week which means I am now half way through..................

Keeping you all close in my thoughts and prayers.

x x x


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## cheeps

Congrats ssawhne - just another half to go now. Hope the tiredness has subsided. Do more people know now? Hope you're not getting any grief. Things with me are going well. DH is now on medication until Jan so we won't be doing ICSI again until then. We had our first initial appointment at ARGC on Monday to get the ball rolling as they will investigate more with me to see if anything crops up.

Just going to do the investigations and see what happens with DH - hopefully we will get better quality sperm to use for next year.

Keeping myself busy at the moment by finishing off doing up our house. We're having a new kitchen fitted atm. Need to concentrate on other areas of life so I don't become consumed by the IVF.


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## ssawhne1

Hi Cheeps100,

Hope you are well and it's good to hear your have your appointment booked for Monday.  I have heard many times before that ARGC are one of the best clinics so I am sure your are in good hands.

Yes, more members of my family do now know my news and I think to begin with they did not take the news too well but slowly they are coming around which to be honest is better than I had ever hoped.  I know it is really difficult for the older generation to accept and deal with so any acceptance is appreciated.

Have a lovely weekend.


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## Goldrush

Hi there, 

It's been a while since I've posted. I hope everyone is well . 

I have just finished my frozen cycle - I had my transfer yesterday . I haven't told any family this time , only myself and husband know, as I thought it would be easier. But now I'm in this two week wait it's only day 1 and I'm finding I need to talk to someone about it . I was hoping I could turn to my friends on here 😢 to get me through the next few weeks xx I'm so scared of it failing and having to do this again . I'm not having cramps but I can feel things down there . Wish I could fast forward two weeks !


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## Kaur_33

Hi goldrush I just had my transfer too a few days ago. Goodluck! Remember to eat loads of protein. That's a good idea not telling anyone I wish we'd done that. I got really upset a couple of days ago as husbands family all know and not one person has called to say Goodluck or even sent a Goodluck text. My family been amazing they've sent me flowers and even a Goodluck card!.

I think it's my hormones playing up. How are u doing emotionally? I've so many drugs running through my system like progestrone injection, dexmethosone and bloody clexane!

Try and stay positive, this is my first ivf so kinda scary doing so many injections, I've set an alarm to remind me for each one been so forgetfull lately!

Hope everyone else is doing good too xx


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## Goldrush

Hi kaur , 

So nice to hear from you and that we're both at the same part of the journey ! 
I am much calmer than before , with the fresh cycle I was all over the place the meds really took their toll on me emotionally ! I had my first night where I woke up at four this morning , through out this cycle I've been sleeping well up until last night. So have woken up very tired this morning . Just laying in bed though. 

Just praying that it's a positive - for both of us !  Worried about going back to work though . Have you gone back or taken time off ? 
I go from being really positive to the opposite in minutes . Going to try and do some paperwork today to keep my mind occupied ! 

You just keep positive and don't think about his side of family, how lovely of your family to do that for you , just focus on that. Look after yourself xx


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## Kaur_33

Hi guys hope you're well. I had my pregnancy test this morning - negative. Really disappointed. Found out in the middle of a lesson (I'm a teacher) as hubby emailed me, had to really stop myself from breaking down in front of the kids. Still don't know how I held myself together.


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## cheeps

Kaur - I'm really sorry to hear your news. Well done for keeping it together. That just shows your strength. Get your head around the news - it'll take some time then find that strength again.

It will happen at some point - keep believing!!! I have faith after 3 fresh attempts.

Do you mind me asking what's the reason for infertility?


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## Kaur_33

Hi cheeps it's unexplained fertility. All my eggs fertilised and went to blastocyst stage and doctor kept saying really positive things about my embryos so have no idea why it didn't implant. I did stress myself out because of inlaws so I'm blaming myself for getting so worked up over them.

Sorry haven't been on this thread for ages so not sure where are you currently in your treatment? I remember you were saying you were going to ARGC? (Sorry typing this using phone and screen is so small I can't even navigate to previous posts!) x


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## cheeps

Kaur - It's such a horrible time you're going through right now with a mixture of emotions. Don't blame yourself for stressing out over the inlaws.

Going through IVF makes everyone stressed. That wouldn't have changed the outcome. If it was meant to be then it was meant to be. One day your time will come. It's just not at this moment in time. 

Just visualise that day when it does happen and all these emotions will be gone and all you're feel it happiness. I'm certain for all of us that if we keep trying, it will happen.

Yeah, I'm at ARGC. Just did my day 1-3 bloods for my monitoring cycle today - 11 tubes of blood. Becoming a Pro at all of this!!! I'm hopefully going to start a new cycle in the new year. Gives me something to look forward too. Before, I would just push my to keep going and 3 fresh ICSI cycles in under a year was just too much. It was making me crazy. I have just taken a step back since July and enjoyed the good stuff that I do have in my life. I wanted a baby so badly that it made me forget that I have other things in my life that I need to be grateful for. Everything I have now was also on my wish list so the baby will come to when the time is right. I'll never give up because I want it too badly.

Stay strong


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## Swytz

Hi ladies and Gods blessings to you all  
I'm sorry I haven't been on for a while. My life has been taken over by all things stims, EC, ET.
Kaur I am so so sorry to hear about your BFN. As Cheeps said it may not have happened this time but it will and your babies will be with you soon. Perhaps they are still enjoying hanging out with God and want abit more time. Don't blame yourself with regards to stressing out. We are Only human and of course our emotions are going to surface but our bodies are stronger than that. It will all work out have faith. I don't know if you have thought about seeing zita west re nutrition etc?
I don't know about any of you, but I did used to do my path but since this ivf journey, I have discovered youtube and just having simran playing in the background makes me less alone and that WaheGuru is with us. I am praying for you all  
Cheeps hope you are enjoying doing the kitchen and its coming on nicely what a lovely distraction. Just make sure you and hubby are not inhaling any paint smells xox
Goldrush hope you are ok? 
Swahe are you expecting 1 or 2 lil ones? It's soooo lovely  hope you are enjoying your pregnancy.
AFM I'm in the dreaded 2 ww. Sitting at home is driving me insane. 
Sorry if I have missed anyone one out xox


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## cheeps

Swytz - Good luck for your 2ww, I will have my fingers crossed for you.

Do you mind me asking what protocol you went on, how many eggs you got and embryo's/blasts were made and transferred?

I'm just interested in Argc outcomes as I'm now with them too x


----------



## Swytz

Hi Cheeps I was on follicular. Went in for day2 bloods and they put me on fostimon and merional from that day. I stimmed for 14 days but really disappointed as only got 8 eggs of which 3 were immature. As this is my first time I'm not sure if that's a particularly poor response or if things could have been done differently. I had d3 transfer no blasts. Now have 2 lovelies and praying for them


----------



## Swytz

Sorry flare protocol!


----------



## cheeps

Don't worry about quantity. It always hard the first cycle to judge what is going to happen.

My first time I only had 5 eggs and 2 of those were immature so I transferred 2 on day 2 and had nothing to freeze. I got pregnant but sadly miscarried.

I'll pray for all of us to get our babies!!!! x


----------



## Swytz

Thanks Cheeps


----------



## Kaur_33

Hi swytz Goodluck for your 2ww. I didn't realise you were also ARGC, we might have been there the same time! I really hope it works out for you xxx

I have heard of zita west just downloaded her books on my kindle. I don't think I'm going to see her as she's so pricey (120 quid just for acupuncture I've heard! - I might be wrong). 

Cheeps ARGC is the best so it's good u with them now. I know the immune they take so much blood! Make sure they email u the results.

Goldrush how are u doing?

Goodluck too everyone else xx


----------



## Swytz

Hi Kaur definitely too expensive for acupuncture. I go to one f her associate therapist  near where I live and she charges me £35. You can have a a look on her website to see if there is a therapist near where you live. You will also get 20% off vits if you use one of her ppl which is great. X


----------



## Md444885

Hi Swytz, reading though the blog I noticed you have raised nk cells. I was just wondering how you had this treated? Did you go through ivig, intralipids and steroid? I used intralipids only on my first cycle which failed, I was too scared to go on steroids. Just keen to know if others have used other options to treat raised nk cells and how they found it. Good luck to you!


----------



## Swytz

Hi Md444885
I have only had intralipids when stimming so far and am on dexamethasone and peridonosal which are both steroids. I have so far had no adverse side effects. Can I ask what it is you are scared about with regards to the steroids? Have you heard any bad press? Scaring me now!!  Can I ask where you have had intralipids treatment? Private or NHS? 
x


----------



## Md444885

No bad press at all. It was just a personal thing, felt steroid treatment was quite intense and guess the side effects scared me off. But maybe if I had taken, it would have worked. Good to know you are on it and no effects. Are you on prednisolone? R u on strong dosage? I think they were looking at 25mg for me. Hope all is going well for you! I had Private treatment at CRM London.


----------



## Swytz

Pheww! I am on 10mg prednisolone. Please don’t think that way- you did everything you felt was the right thing for you and your babies. Just hang in there. From speaking to the other ladies, the only side effects from all this is the progesterone – tmi but constipation is such a pain :-(


----------



## Md444885

Aaahhh I found the 2ww window the worst thing. Was literally googling everything before I ate! Try some prunes xx


----------



## Goldrush

Hi there, 

Sorry I haven't replied sooner x 

I just wanted to let you ladies know it was a positive x I'm still in shock , it hasn't sunk in ! Very nervous about the wait for the scan , but trying to take one day at a time x 

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your kind words and support along the way x I'm praying for lots more bfps on this thread xxx


----------



## Swytz

Yippy Goldrush congratulations on your BFP xxx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hello to everyone.

Goldrush.......wonderful news and many many congratulations to you.  It does take a little time for it to sink in and I know from my experience it still feels weird saying I am expecting a baby and I am now 5 and half months pregnant.  I am so happy for you and hope you have a comfortable and easy pregnancy..........................

Kaur_33 - so sorry to hear your BFN.  Give youself time and be kind to yourself. You did everything you could.  Allow yourself time to recover and find your strength again.  Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Swytz - Hope you are well.  Originally I was carrying two (which i was not aware of at the time).  Then I started to bleed at around week 7 which resulted in the loss of one of my babies and as hard as it was to accept, I still feel blessed to know that I still have one with me and he/she seems to be a fighter which is great.  All scans have shown that baby is progressing well and I have started to feel lots of movement......................

Hope everyone else is well and hope to see lots more BFP's on here.  Will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers x x x


----------



## Kaur_33

Goldrush just sent you a private message just in case it didn't get thru just want to say congrats! Xx

Really happy for you. Don't worry about the scan think positive now!!


----------



## Kaur_33

Thanks for your message ssawhne1. Yes I'm feeling so much positive now plus the MIL has gone India for a month! so can't stir trouble with me anymore! Thanks and hope you're feeling okay xx


----------



## Swytz

Hello ladies
We got a BFN yesterday. Devastated and feel I have let DH down too :-(
Hope you all take care x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi All,

Swytz - sorry to hear your news but please do not feel you have let anyone down.  Just the sheer fact you had the courage, strength and determination to go through this process proves that.  Be kind to yourself as this is such a tough journey.  Hope you are able at some stage to find the strength to try again.  Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


x x x x


----------



## Md444885

Sorry to hear that Swytz. I am going through the same and just trying to keep busy. It will happen for us one day, this is just how it is meant to be. Focus on the great things you have and that you enjoy doing and relax. Xxxx


----------



## cheeps

Swyzt - Hope you're doing ok. It's hard going through all this and not getting the outcome that we all deserve. Regain your strength and take time out to enjoy the blessings in your life. 

When you're ready you can always try again if you want. I'm certain that all this is just probability and at some point our turn will come.


----------



## Goldrush

Hi swytz, 

I'm so sorry to hear your news. Please don't blame yourself, you went through so much for both of you. Give yourself the time and look after yourself x take care x thinking of you x


----------



## Swytz

Thanks for your kind words ladies.
Doesn’t it feel like you have been hit by a bus but have to get up and keep going?! It is like fighting with the unknown. As a first failed attempt I feel so for ladies who have gone through this time and time again. But you just keep going – the sun sets and the morning arrives, you get out of bed and carry on. Life carries on. 
I think as days pass, it hits me more as reality sets in. I don’t know what the cause is but think it may be implantation as my numbers were less than 1! We have a follow up booked for next week but I have heard the clinic say they don’t really do anything differently for next time which is really scary.  I have booked to see a nutritionist and feel that I am doing something but then again I am sitting in a pot of fear – fear of realising that things are wrong with me, and that  my body is not working – I feel I need to speak to a counsellor too. DH has been my rock but I want to be strong for him too and put up a positive for him, but inside I am devastated – I have come back to work and cry on my way to work, run to the ladies frequently and it was hilarious this morning, I was crying in the car to work and after my session, looked in the mirror to fix my make up only to realise I had cried away the front half of gel liner and couldn’t get the other half off!! I am now at work with weird looking eyes!! Lol!
Anyway enough of my rant, Md444885 and Kaur, hugs to you both    and I hope you taking time to do things that make you happy- chocolate, wine, coke! I have a crack at all. God is with us all and as our Father he is will give us his darshan xx
Cheeps good luck with your cycle. Goldrush how are you feeling? Any symptoms yet? 
Swahne not long to go – that baby is precious gift and what an exciting time for you xox 
Love to you all xx


----------



## angie1

hi ladies. have not been on for ages so apologies in advance for the essay!!!

Sonia- wow times really flying! have u started to buy things for the new arrival yet? glad to hear people are accepting it. often our fear of what ppl will think is worse than the reality. its only a handful that are bitter cows, the rest are usually happy if u r. hope ur really enjoying it now 

cheeps- i'm the same have tried to concentrate on the house to keep busy. although wallpapering alone was hard...dh is useless with decorating! hope next year the changes for dh will mean a positive outcome for u.

goldrus- omg bfp. had such a hugh smile on my face when just read ur post!! am soo happy for u, have been thinking of u and praying u get a bfp.give me hope 1 day will join u.x

md- welcome to the post. hope all's wel with u. where are u at the moment on this bumpy road?

kaur33- sorry dh's family were not supportive.my dh's are a lost cause andtbh now i'm not going to tell anyone. sorry to hear of ur bfn, it's really heartbreaking. kudos on holding it together, I took the day off on my bfn n just had a big cry. don't blame urself, its such a stressful thing that I don't think anyone goes through it stress free! I know I had an argument with my MIL but what will be will be, we can't change it. they told me my cycle looked positive too, just makes bfn harder.

swytz- sorryto hear of ur bfn. it really is a shock, even though u know the possibility is there. the main thing Is u don't blame urself. u haven't let any1down. it's a process u both go through. am sure thebig man willsend ur lil blessing down soonx. I listen to simran on utube too, can really calm u down whnen get anxious (i.e all the time). as for nk cells, I asked for this to be tested but was told they won't do this on nhs & that there is no point!dont know whether am coming or going most of the time!

AFM- had a follow up consultation and all's set to go ahead in November. however am due an endo scratch and they seem to have started stringing me along again...can't wait another year for them! gunna get pushing this Monday as is a joke. had a breakdown in front of the consultant and my manager at work. really not good but find it hard now n then to hold it together! and to add to the mix have started to break out in urticeria (think that'show it's spelt) due to stress. is annoying more than anything, basically itch and come up with a rash followed by sickness. dh has been really good but just wish could get back to being me!! been baby shopping this week for my sister hasn't helped. the sister who doesn=know about tx has arranged a babyshower for her. find it kinda insensitive, think am gunna just 'pull a sickie' when the time comes. can't be doing with all sister's family goingon at me (as they usually do!)

sorry for the essay ;adies. have been keeping u in my prayers & hope we all have our BFPs soon.xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1

Good to hear from you.  Hope all goes well for you when you start your treatment in Novemeber.  fab news about Goldrush and her BFP.

I haven't really bought much stuff at all as I am scared I may jinx things but I guess I will have to start buying soon.  I am going in a couple of weeks to buy the pram, car seat and mosses basket and hopefully will then also look at buying all the other stuff I need.  Baby seems to be quite active.............sleeps all day and then decides to keep me up at night while its practising its bhangra moves.......................not that I am complaining as I know I am truely blessed.

I have just 8 more weeks at work and then a whole year off to spend with baby which is going to be amazing.

Stay in touch and here's hoping and praying that your November treatment results in a BFP!

Stay blessed


x x x


----------



## moomee

Hi ladies just wanted to pop in and introduce myself, I'm a Sikh 32 from B'ham with unexplained infertility.

After a heart breaking round of ivf that didn't work out we went for our second round and now by some miracle I'm 15 weeks with twins. My heart goes out to everyone going through infertility issues and also having to deal with communities that expect you to be up the duff within a year of being married! 

Swytz - I haven't had a chance to read your full story so not sure if this was your first cycle but wanted to say I hope your'e ok and don't give up, I remember after my first bfn from ivf we felt like someone had died in the family the grief was overwhelming.

You mentioned implantation issues - have you had all the tests for them? My clinic told me for the second cycle they would keep everything the same, meds etc no additional tests but I insisted on the recurrrent miscarriage tests which cost me around £600 but highlighted a blood clotting issue so I took additional drugs for the second cycle - don't know if that's what gave me my bfp.


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Angie xx good to hear from you xx

I know I couldn't believe it x thank you xx wishing you all the luck in the world for this cycle x will be thinking about you xx take care of yourself xxx


----------



## angie1

Good morning ladies hope alls well with u.
Sonia- not long to go now cnt believe how quickly the time has passed!  Think u shud deffo get on to buying things now as sure towards the end ull just want to put ur feet up  (and deservedly so!) Uvbeen blessed so dnt worry abt jinxing it. Know how u mean tho am sure id b the same.
Goldrush- thanks for ur well wishes. Pls keep me in ur prayers n hopefully ill b joining u in the babyclub soon! 
Moomee- welcome to the board. Always nice to hear positive stories. Wow twins! Hope all goes well with the rest of ur pregnancy.  Hope om second time lucky too!
Afm had my scratch on weds so all sysyems go in the next few weeks hopefully.  If n e of u ladies have found n e thing helpful when cycling pls share, Always worth a go! Am thinking of doing accupuncture,  n e 1 have any experience of this?  
Right am off to the gurdwara so chat soon. Keeping u all in my prayers.xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi Angie1,

Good to hear from you. Fingers crossed for your treatment. I did acupuncture to the lead up to my treatment. My protocol also involved taking clexane even though I did not have any blood cutting issues. A friend of my mine had two failed cycles and on her third cycle the only thing that was introduced extra was clexane and that cycle was successful. 

I have started to buy stuff now. I have 7 weeks left at work and then a whole 13 months off work......... Whoop whoop....... So looking forward to meeting baby who already is one little active one!

Keeping everything crossed for you Angie1 and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers x x


----------



## Goldrush

Hi ladies , 

Just wanted to say hello x and say I hope everyone is well x 

Angie I hope this cycle is going well and you are ok x 

Sonia can't believe how time flies sometimes x you keep looking after yourself x 

Kaur hope you are feeling stronger and had a good half term x 

Keeping everyone in my thoughts and prayers xx


----------



## angie1

Hey lgoldrush n sonia- Nice to hear from u. Hope the pregnancies r going well and ur both super excited.
Hope everyone else is well whatever stage ur at.
Afm- went to hospital. Today n my follicles arent big enuff (was on a low dose as im at risk of ohss)  so hsving to stimm over the weekend n delay ec to weds. Really hope all goes well as was actually feeling much more positive this time round. Really has got me on a bit of a downer as been stressed running around getting meds thos after as rang me half an hr b4 they closed. Grrr. But hey no point worrying yet shall see what mondays scan shows n hope ec goes ahead. Really hoping to join u soon.xx
Keeping all the lovely ladies here in my prayers.xxx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hi Ladies,

Angie1, hope all goes well for you this cycle and hope EC goes ahead for you. Will keep everything crossed for you and will definitely keep in in my prayers this weekend.

Goldrush, how are you feeling?? Have you had any sickness etc? How far gone are you??

AFM - I am still feeling well which is great but I do have the odd days where I have a sudden fear and wonder if I will manage on my own with a baby. I know I do have my family around for support but the reality is they live over 50 miles away which is not a problem for the first year while I am on maternity leave, but once I return to work then I will be on my own totally with the little one.........I am sure I will fine but from time to time I do worry.  I went to john Lewis today and bought my pram and car seat and a few other bits. Have now bought most of the items I need now so not much left to get.

Hope you guys are all having a good weekend


----------



## angie1

hey ladies hope all is well with u. Had ec todsy n thankfully was not sicck as last time from the anaesthetic. Managed to get 11 eggs. Think 3 were immature n the rest we'll learn tomorrow.  Praying yhy r strong as last time all fertilised but only 1 survived  

sawhne1- thanks. Looks like the prayers wworked!  As for worrying sbt doing this on ur own. ..fron what I have hward from u am sure ull b fantastic!  Going it alone was a huge step n u did it bravely,  the rwst will come to u. Family always steps up when needed too!

Good luck.n goodnight everyone. In my prayers as always.x


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1 - praying for you that all the eggs collected are strong and that many fertilise for you x x x


----------



## angie1

Hello ladies. Hope ur all doing well. Quick update: only 2 embies were up to rransfwr level on day 2. Rest were low grade. The 2 put back were 4 cell c grades. Was gutted to say the least but gotta get my pma head on. Visiting mum to ensure I chill out this time which has been fun. Feel bad not told her am cycling but feels like a lot less pressure. 
How r u all doing? What stages r we now at? 
Am totally shattered which am sure is the progesterone.  On gestone n pessaries (though brought enough pessaries for 1ce a day when need 2ce a day! Getting dh to send it n in mean time will have to do gestone). These drugs really make me bondalee  
Chat soon. In my prayers as always.xx


----------



## Goldrush

Hi Angie sorry haven't been in touch x haven't been feeling very well x
Keeping everything crossed for you x make sure you get lots of rest and look after yourself x will be thinking about you and hoping for good news x

Sending my best wishes to everyone xx


----------



## Goldrush

How you doing Angie ? 

Have been thinking of you x 

I've been so worried I'm on antibiotics for an infection so have been really upset about that x am watching friends to try and cheer me up ! 

Hope everyone is ok x Sonia when do you start your maternity leave x


----------



## cheeps

Goldrush - don't be worried. Why are you on antibiotics? I'm on them too as I got tested for Ureaplasma at ARGC. Tried one lot of AB and that didn't clear it up so on my 2nd lot - last day today!

Hopefully, get they all clear this time so I can start on my Humira and start the 4th ivf in Feb - fingers crossed.

Angie - thinking of you and hoping everything is going well and stress free for you.

Ssawhne - Hope you and bump are doing well. Nearly there now aren't you? How exciting.


----------



## Goldrush

Hey cheeps x hope it all clears , feb just round the corner x how are you finding Argc - it's been a while but is this a new clinic from before ? X wishing you all the best x 

Tmi but had been having discharge so went and had a swab and found thrush and a bacteria - so antibiotics for that . Was worrying about effect on baby . Keep blaming myself x just hope the antibiotics clear it quickly x 

Seem to have endless worries at minute x 

How are you ? It's been quiet in the thread for a while x hope your ok xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hello ladies,

Hope you are all well.

Angie.........how are things with you?

Goldrush, take it from me the worrying never stops.

AFM......I am now just past seven months. Bump growing by the day and the little one is a right mover particularly at 4am!! Just three more weeks for me at work and then I won't return to work till March 2016.  I've bought almost everything that I need so now it's just a case of waiting for little one to make his/her appearance. 

Hope you all have a good weekend 

X x


----------



## angie1

hi ladies. nice to hear from u all 
ssawhne-the countdown really is on now! arggghhhhhh bet ur sooo excited, am excited for u!
goldrush- sorry to hear u've been unwell. try not to worry about the ABs, am sure dr wouldn't prescribe if it was a risk. hope the stress eases up soon, and one would think the BFP is where the worrying ends eh!?! n stop blaming urself lady!
cheeps- thanks for thinking of me. hope ur doing well.
afm- am in the dreaded 2ww and started to go cuckoo. was ok whilst at mums but started cramping yesterday which makes me think AF on her way..the b*tch!lol. trying to keep my pma (which has been pretty good this time) but getting harder. am tempted to test and just get it over with rather than being on constant knicker watch! ha. kept busy reorganising my clothes after furniture finally arrived which made the day go quicker. dh is being a right..*insert swear word here* which has been annoying me but trying to keep that all away for the 2ww. gunna open a can of whoop ass on him soon, dunno y he suddenly decides to be a tool...timing couldn't be worse! anyways have rambled enough now- always wishing n praying for the best for u all, please keep me in ur prayers.xx


----------



## Goldrush

Thanks Angie x 

Bless you x am praying for you x my she was the exact same in tww! And to be honest he's not being very supportive at the minute either ! Men ! 

You take care of yourself x in my tww I had af pains all through so don't give up yet xx


----------



## angie1

Eugh men eh!?! Dh is ver apologetic today but gunna let him suffer a bit yet   to add to the crap had a big argument with the mil just now. Really annoyed but glad dh saw how silly she was being n had a go at her. Is upsetting as she has clicked we r cycling so she knows fine well not to stress me out. Can bend ova til ya break ur back gor some ppl n it still won't b enough. Sorry started ranting. ..gunna go bed as pounding headache now. Tc everyone,  prayed for u all today.xx


----------



## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1,

You're in my daily thoughts and prays. Stay positive and try not to stress about the MIL.

Stay blessed 


X x x x


----------



## angie1

Thanks guys. Well tested today as working on otd tomorrow n wanted to soften the blow. it was BFN. Am sooo sad as really thought a miracle would happen for us but wasn't to be. Gunna allow myself to have a pity party today then move on tomorrow.  Thanks for being here And for ur thoughts n pprayers.  Everything waheguru does is for a reason am sure better things will b on the horizon. Xxx


----------



## cheeps

Angie,

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I know that feeling of it not working as I've been there 3 times myself too. There's nothing anyone can say to ease the pain. Eventually, time will help. Allow yourself to be sad and you'll naturally pick yourself back up and find the energy to fight this again - remember you're still so young on the IVF scene and even though our dreams havn't come true yet, one day they will. Will be thinking of you in my prayers.


----------



## ssawhne1

Angie1 - so so sorry to hear your sad news......................allow yourself the time and space and be kind to yourself.

Will still keep you in all my thoughts and prayers.................


Sonia x x


----------



## Goldrush

Angie I'm really sorry to hear your sad news x 
You take as much time as you need , you have been through so much x
I know how devastating it is but I know you will get there , your little angel is waiting to join you x sending you a big hug x take care xxx


----------



## Kaur_33

Hi angie I haven't been on this forum for a little while but just wanted to say I'm sorry about your BFN. Hope you're okay xx

Hope everyone else is doing well too xx


----------



## ToughCookie

Hi everyone
I thought I'd say 'hi'. I am Sikh, I've been through 3 cycles.

Although my circumstances have changed recently, my husband has now left so I am trying to come to terms with my current situation but always around for a chat if anyone needs. xx


----------



## angie1

hi everyone. thanks for the support. always nice to know can come on here & chat to peeps who are going through/have been through the journey.
toughcookie- welcome to the board. sorry to hear of ur problems. must be really difficult, hope ur ok. x
kaur33 nice to hear from u. hope alls going well in prep for ur next cycle.
cheeps- it really is hard to deal with a bfn. don't know if its coz we go throu so much n get nothing or we get our hopes up that it will work...or both! it's a real rollercoster. really hope ur next cycle is successful.x
goldrush & sonia- thanks for the msgs. hope ur pregnancies are going well and ur enjoying it, deffo deserve all the happiness in the world. good to hear from u, gives me hope it will happen for me.x 
had a bit of a weird day, trying to crack on but had a bit of a cry when had to ring & tell thehospital. doing the official testthis morning was another kick n now as AF hasn't turned up got to gohospital to get itconfirmed by blood test. nothing like getting a slap 3 times!ha. hope u are all well, thinking of u & praying for u as always.x


----------



## Goldrush

Bless your heart Angie xxx always here for a chat about anything xx 

Look after yourself , your in my prayers xxx

Hi tough cookie xx sorry to hear you have been through so much x hope we can give you some support along your journey xx take care x


----------



## cheeps

Hi Ladies, 

How is everyone doing? I can't help but think another year has gone and I have nothing to show for it. I know it's sad to be so negative but I can't help it. 

Does anyone who's never got to where they want to be ever think about giving up on it all? When do you know when the time is right to say enough is enough? I feel like the last 3yrs have been so heavily based around wanting a child, that I've actually forgotten what I actually have. I feel like I'm not living because of this need to be a Mother. Do other people feel ever like this?


----------



## hopeoneday1

hi all 
How are you all? I hope your well. And hope 2015 will have a brighter year for us all!
crazy how quick this year has gone. 
I am 24 and at 19 was diagnosed with primary ovarian failure (early menopause) so only way of having children is via an egg donor. Me and lovely hubby have been researching clinics abroad and here in Uk and will be going Greece in 2015 to have treatment and hopefully lead to being parents..
I hope all have a happy new year! and will do ardas all get what they ask & yearn for..

Take care


----------



## angie1

Hi ladies. Happy new year. For those still on this ride hope this is the year we get our lil bundles of joy. For those expecting what a super exciting time! 
Cheeps- sorry to hear ur feelin low. After seeing what u have been thru it's not surprising. I felt I hadnothing to show too n was ggettin down. Spent 4 days stripping n redecorating the nursery in my new house...had hoped id b using it by now! Its such a hard thing to go thru n only u will knw when enuff is enuff. However I think if that yearning os still so strong u have to go on no matter hpw hard until iv exhausted all ur options. 
Hopeoneday- sorry to hear of ur probs. However if u have to go thru thos have heard penny is the best! If our third cycle doesn't work she wull most likely b our next stop too. Really hope 2015 is ur year.x
Dh n my sister have brought up door but im just not ready for It. GFeel I spent so much time looking for n was so lucky to find dh that we gave to try our hardest with him first. Off to london nxt week to c mf specialist so fingers crossed!
All in my thoughts n prayers as always.xx


----------



## cheeps

Thanks Angie - have you researched Dr Ramsay. He's a brilliant Urologist that has helped my DH. DH showed 200 sperm in his sample and after 7 weeks medication that went up to 10,000. He's still taking the meds so hopefully it will increase more to give us more selection for next time. Also, Dr Ramsay swears that Proxeed (can be purchased through Amazon) is also helping people with MF. He's going to clinically trial it this year but I would defo say it's worth a go. I had my DH on every vitamin possible and now he just takes the Proxeed.

Hopeoneday - so sorry to hear of your news. How brave to deal with that from such a young age. Greece seems to have really good results and I hear this Peny lady works miracles. 
I've started at ARGC in London as I don't want to travel abroad - too difficult for DH and I to get time off from work. 

I hope all our dreams come true soon.x


----------



## angie1

Hi cheeps. Aww am glad u said that as it is mr ramsey that we rbgoing to c. Its a way to go for us as we live in teeside but ive only heard good things. Consultant didn't seem too happy abt me going but figured is last nhs go so may as well check everything out. So glad to hear he was able to help u. How long was ur consultation n how many visits did u need? B good to have an idea! 
Hope everyone else is well. Chat soon, off to work


----------



## rkm1212

Hi all,
I have just come across this and wanted to let you know my story. I am Sikh and married fairly young, 22 and thought I would go through life same as everyone else and have kids pretty quickly.  14 years later and 5 rounds of IVF, seeing every religious person going, visited every Gurdwara in India! I did the whole shebang! I decided enough was enough and me and hubby discussed our life and knew we had to decide how to move forward.  We adopted our beautiful little boy and he turned 2 in December.  Best thing we ever did.  The response from the small town we live in the North East has been overwhelmingly positive.  Our son has bought us immense joy and lots of sleepless nights too!


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## cheeps

Angie - Dr Ramsay is so lovely - he's the first person I come across that fills you with hope and genuinely cares about us. He's the eccentric type but really sweet. Our first visit involved my DH doing a sample and then they have someone there that does a quick analysis on it. He will then go over what he could possibly do. He may also want to send your Husband to do some blood hormone checks at a local clinic to where you live. When you get the results back from those, you go and see him again. That's when we got our prescription for Tamoxifen. 

After taking medication, my DH had to check his blood hormones again to see if medication was working and emailed them to him. He then adjusted the dosage via email. So far we have seen him 3 times since Sept time and due to see him end of Jan now. We've spent with the Jan consultation included approx. £1500.

Let me know how it goes and Good luck.

RKM - I'm so glad you posted your story. I don't want this to rule my life and even though its only been over 2 years for me, I feel it's just consuming me. Can't have the next 10 years like this. How easy was the whole adoption process - that's what scares me. I know it's intense but would like to hear more of your story if that's ok?


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## angie1

Hey ladies hope all r well.
Cgeeps- thanks for the heads up. Saw ramsey on friday. Was only a few mins with him then up the road for tests. Glad u gave an idea on costs or id have been floored by the 1100 it all came to! Like I said to dh if it helps cost isn't an issue. Hes given tamoxifen too n go back bxt month for results.  
Rkm- glad to hear u have the family u dreamed of. Im a huge supporter of adoption, in fact more for it than using a donor. But want to try with dh as far as we can n cross that bridge wen we get to it. Always nice to hear ppls experience n outcomes. Im off to india soon so sure I'll b doing the whole shebang too! Lol.
Well ladies am shattered so chat soon. In my thoughts and prayers as always. X


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## cheeps

Angie - Good luck with it all. Hope it works for you. The costs add up don't they?! Oh well, worth it if it works out. Have a fun trip in India. Hope you don't get to much abuse - lol!

I'm in hiding these days. Easier to avoid ppl. Lol

Hope everyone else is ok x


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## ssawhne1

Hi All,

Sorry for the lack of contact but its all been a bit stressful the past month.

After a routine antenatal appointment in December I was told that baby was not growing and that there were issues with my placenta.  As a result baby had to be delivered early at 34 weeks and I am pleased to say I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy via c section who I named Arun Veer Singh.  Arun was born on the 24th December 2015 when in fact he was actually due 4th Feb 2016 so he came 7 weeks early.  It was a stressful time as he was born only weighing 3lbs 14oz and he spent the first 3 weeks of his life in intensive care with me by his side morning, noon and night.  It was a tough time but we got through it.  He is so beautiful that I can not stop staring at him.  I fall deeper in love with him each day.

We returned home last week and the first week home has been tough but so worth it.  I love him some much with every beat of my heart.  I decided not to accept any gifts for Arun and instead decided that I would pay for a neonatal cot for the intensive care unit so that other families could benefit just like we did in our hour of need.  The hospital we were in took good care of us both and for that I shall always be eternally grateful.

Some of my extended family are still choosing to be difficult and did not phone or visit me or Arun while he was in intensive care but other members of my my family have accepted i have a beautiful baby boy and that my heart is now filled where once  there was a big void.

Arun has been keeping me very busy and i can not believe he is going to be a month old tomorrow.  At some stage i will try and catch up on the tread to see what is happening with all you guys but as always my thoughts and prayers are with you and hope that all your wishes and dreams come true just like mine did 

Sonia

x


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## LuckyE

just popping on to congratulate Ssawhne - I am so pleased for you. I am glad he is everything you dreamed of.


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## hopeoneday1

hi sonia.. 
we were getting abit worried about you, we are so glad and over the moon for you. 
Me and my hubby are sitting in Athens, met up with penny and in the hotel, listening to kirtan right now. 
Im so glad and happy for you. Your post about your lovely baby has completed our day with further happiness  

Hubby had his re test of sperm and Penny was delighted with the improvement and results, so we are set ready to go for treatment with serum very soon. 

Hope everyone is well. 
Once again sonia well done, and well done lil arun for being a fighter.. so happy for you


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## cheeps

Sonia,

Huge congratulations to you. What lovely news to wake up to this morning.

Sounds like a stressful beginning but glad things are getting easier now. I'm sure Arun is being spoilt rotten by his Mummy. I'm so happy your dreams came true. I wish you all the best for the years to come.


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## ssawhne1

Hi All,

Hope you are all well.

Arun is doing well and is keeping me very busy.  Never realised quite how much hard work it was but is so very very worth it.

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers x


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## angie1

Huge congrats sonia! Welcome to the world arun, lovely name btw  sounds like its been a bit stressful but allas well that ends well, big thanks to the man upstairs. 
Hope1day- glad to hear things r moving along. Sounds like ur well on the way to fulfilling ur dreams.
Hope everyone is doing well.  We're just waiting for our next appointment with dr Ramsey, really hope the meds doing wot they shud. Seems to b getting harder to dw as we get along. Gotta keep the faith tho. Dh is starting to talk abt donors but really not ready for tgat convo yet.
Hello to everyone else. Hope ur all ok. In my thoughts n prayers as always. Xx


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## angie1

Hi guys. How is every1? Seems **** ages since ive been on. Got bak from india a bit ago. Wasnt toobad. Had the usual ladies telling me to get on with havin kids, ppl taljing abt it like i cnt hear em but i really wasnt bothered tbh. Sas has brought a lod of herbs bak, tild her well giv em a go once tamoxifen finishes. Have appt with dr ramsey on mon, fingers crossed alls improvef. He sent us a scriot for antibiotics whilst we were away as found an infection in dh's sample...hope its helped! Sishada lil gorl who is adorable! Was hard wen i hward ut am obsessed with her now! Was easier seeing her thsn i thiught. Just remembered that its not my time yet.
Hope u are all doing well. In my thoughts n prayers as always.xxx


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## ssawhne1

Hey Angie1,

Good to hear from you and congratulations on the arrival of your new niece.

Hope all goes well with your visit to the docs.

Baby Arun is doing well. He is slowly putting on weight.  Can't believe how much joy and happiness he has brought to my life and helped me feel complete..


Keeping you always in my thoughts and prayers x x


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## angie1

Hey sonia. Glad to hear lil arun is doin well, sounds like a right lil fighter  
Drs visit went well. Aparently dhs infection is causing the probs n we shud b able to improve things by nxt month. Really hope so, some days r jus too hard! Neice is gawjus n already vrry cheeky!
Take care.chat soon.x


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## cheeps

Hi Ladies,

How are you all.

Sonia - Lovely to hear that Arun is doing well. Hope we are all joining the motherhood club to know exactly how it feels.

Angie - Did you see Ramsay? Hope this infection clears up and sees improvement for you.

AFM - I've started my 4th cycle at ARGC. My first with this clinic so hoping they will do something different to Oxford. Already its taken nearly 8 months to start as had an infection and immune issues which they had to sort out. Am DR atm and hopefully stimming this time next week. Eeek super excited and scared. Don't think I can face the heartbreak a 4th time. My Sister announced she's having a baby on New Years Eve. Abit of shock at first but looking forward to it. The first baby on my side of the family. She's 20 weeks now so she's due beginning of August. Just hope I'm joining her!

On to some bad news - DH sperm levels have dropped. His numbers seem to have decreased so we are trying some new meds to see if we can improve them. I'm not sure if it's too little too late but we'll got some frozen so that's our back up.

Hope everyone else is doing well. x


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## angie1

Ho ladies. Hope every1 is well.
Cheeps- good to hear from u. Must b exciting to finally get going. Wouldnt worry abt ur dh results too much, thy always go up n down and as thy say u only need 1! My sistet just had a baby ladt month, wad hard at first but shes so super cute i love her to bits! Will keep u in my ardas for a successful cycle.x
Afm-saw dr ramsey n am going to get dh sa test done here n send the results in 2 weeks. Hopefully that will show an incrwase in good sperms as the infection will have cleared n tamoxifen for numbers will have kikd in.  had my hysteroscopy yesterday. Was in loadsa pain wen came round so had morphine. Me n drugs dnt go together as was nauseous n sick all day! N e ways turns out i have scarring in my uterus which is rare but a possible sign of tb! Am freaking out a bit but it is what it is. Hopefully get treated n go on to my bfp soon.x
Keeping u all in my thoughts n prayers.xx


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## cheeps

Hi Ladies,

Hope everyone is keeping well. It's been very quiet on this thread.

I wanted to share my happy news with you all.

I'm pregnant!!!! After my 4th fresh attempt but the first with ARGC, I got there!!!!

I'm 6 weeks today and saw the heartbeat of our baby this morning. I'm amazed that this is happening and super excited. It makes me realise how lucky I am to be here as many of friends who I cycled with were not so lucky. DH and I also managed to freeze 2 good quality blasts too. This clinic is truly amazing. I had a split transfer - one on day 3 and one on day 6. I've never got passed a day 3 transfer before and never frozen anything in my life, so to be in this position was a first.

The journey has been so tough. The clinic is so intense and has literally taken over my life for the last 10 weeks but I wouldn't change anything.

I hope you ladies are all in a good place. This is never an easy journey but I pray that we all make it.

Take care
Nik xx


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## ssawhne1

Hey Cheeps,

Many many congratulations on your wonderful news.  I am so excited for you.  It's so nice to hear the success stories.  I agree with you that the whole IVF journey is tough indeed.  It was way harder than I had ever imagined it would be but when I look at my little one each morning I feel truly blessed.  He's made me complete and made the tough journey that I went through so worth it x

Please stay in touch and post details of baby when he/she arrives x x x


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## angie1

Hey cheeps. Thats fantastic news, huge congrats to u. I had been gettin worried sommat may b up as it wad all quiet here for a while but glad it was for something good! Deffo keep us updated.xx
Hope everyone else is doing well. Got my follow up appt next week so fingers crossed alls well to start tx soon.


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## angie1

Hi guys knw ive been super quiet but wanted to wait til all the results were in. Got the screening results this morn n actually starting to believe i am pregnant! Still cnt quite believe it!. Has been a bumpy ride as had lots of bleeding 6-12 weeks, convinced on more than 1 occasion we'd lost it but our prayers were answeted n all was well. Am sooo soo grateful to waheguru n  Altho my anxiety is still thru the roof doin paath n listening to shabads keeps me sane! Hope u r all doin well. Xxx


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## cheeps

Congrats Angie, what lovely news to wake up to. Hope the bleeding has stopped. Being honest with you the worrying and anxiety doesn't go but try to enjoy it where you can.

I'm 33 weeks today but our little boy is abit poorly. He will need medical assistance when he's born as his lymphatic system hasn't developed properly in his right leg - its really swollen so he'll need injections and possible surgery in the first 2 years of life to get him back on track. Other that that he seems to be growing well. I'm excited as at 20 weeks when we got the news they thought it was something life threatening and my world got turned upside down. Although, its a shame he's poorly its just bad luck but atleast he'll make it into the world and we'll help him with anything he needs. I want to enjoy my pregnancy as I never know if I'll get this again.

Hope all you ladies are doing well.

xx


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## angie1

Thanks cheeps, so nice to hear from u! I saidbto my hubby the worrying has started now n it wont b ending n e time soon.
Aww poor bubs, ill keep u in my prayers. So glad to hear it isnt life threatening tho, mustve been a huge weight off ur shoulders! Not long to go.now til ur dreams come tru. So amazing, i will b trying like u to enjiy the pregnancy...altho essier said thsn done!


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## ssawhne1

Hey Angie,

Congratulations.  So great to hear your good news.  You must be so excited.

Arun is now 13 months old and is definitely one cheeky little monkey.  Can't think what life was like before he came along but I do know my life is very much full and complete with him in it.

Keep me update with your arrivals ladies...... X X


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## angie1

Omg! Arun is 13monts? Where has the time gone!?! So glad to hear all is well with u, is amazing how a lil buns can change ur whole outlook n life. Afm am still scared sommat will happen as had a fee scares but wen kaka does acrobatics in my belly as it is now makes all better  will defgo keep updating.x hope ebvery1 is well, hopes n prayers for u all.x


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## angie1

Omg! Arun is 13monts? Where has the time gone!?! So glad to hear all is well with u, is amazing how a lil buns can change ur whole outlook n life. Afm am still scared sommat will happen as had a fee scares but wen kaka does acrobatics in my belly as it is now makes all better  will defgo keep updating.x hope ebvery1 is well, hopes n prayers for u all.x


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## cheeps

Hi

Sorry havnt been on this site in awhile as I had my baby boy Seth on 6th Jan 2016. He's doing well. He has something called a lymphangioma - cysts on his right leg, bum cheek and abdomen but doctors will drain them and put a medication in them to shrink hem down and possible surgery to remove them. His right leg is swollen but all this should not affect walking etc. Well that's what docs say so I hope they're right. It will be a slow process of treatment every 3 months but little Seth doesn't seem bothered or in pain by it.

Can't believe my dream is reality now. I find myself looking at him and tears run as I couldn't have asked for anymore. He's hard work but worth every second.

Angie - keep feeling those kicks - that'll keep you going til the end. You'll worry but that's natural.


Wishing everyone here all the luck in the world. Just don't ever give up. You'll get there. xx


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## angie1

Congrats cheeps. Wonderful news. Badiyan to u and all ur family   u have truly been blessed. Am soooo happy to hear seth is doing well, must have been such a relief after the stress at 20 weeks! Am sure all will b fine soon enough and him not being in pain is the main thing. Am truly ecstatic for u.
Afm am now 28 weeks and starting to enjoy it a little as am allowing myself to believe this may all go well.
Hi to everyone else, in my prayer as always.x


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