# desperately seeking similar



## Ready4ababy (Sep 4, 2011)

hey folks. I'm looking for someone who is going through something similar to me in a non-fertility way. My dh is a trans man and i occasionally feel that no-one knows what we, as a couple, are going through everyday. We are currently searching for a donor online and the reoccuring question always seems to be the same "are you a lesbian?". I am bisexual but dont feel that my hubby being in the female body justifies me saying yes to that question as i feel that he is male.... However, when we do tell someone the situation online, i find that the conversation quickly changes from "i'd love to help" to "oh, are you sure the relationship is stable?". What is it that people have against transsexuals in relationships and bringing up children?! Sorry, rant over, i'm just looking for a friend who knows how this feels as sometimes i feel like i'm beating my head off brick walls.....    Thanks for reading my big "me" rant. Love, Ready xxx


----------



## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

Ready, I am sorry to read you find yourself in such a cornered situation. I find it tricky to keep the facade when I have yet another 'doctor appointment'. I must have had 20 of them over the last years plus hiding a miscarriage from my colleagues. Its all very stressfull on top of treatment that is in itself so emotionally taxing. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be having to justify yourself to strangers on top of this.
We had problems getting suitable donor sperm (clinic route). We only had 4 criteria that were important to us (two of them being caucasian & brown hair of any tone variation), and often the donor offered had no resemblance at all to what we had asked for. Very frustrating.

Friends of ours spent a year trailing through the internet and in the end found a donor by searching with rather random key words (like vegetarian, rather than the geographical area). Hope you soon find a donor that suits you!


----------



## kedmo1 (Aug 18, 2010)

Hi Ready, 
Saw your post, I'm not in the same situation but remember seeing a post from someone on here in same/similar situation I think.  I have trawled through and found the post, its by someone called lea and her profile name is  b&l and the post refers to the following

Not preg yet, under seacroft but waiting for Donor Sperm and also me to loose some weight.  We are the B+T part of the lgbt. 
Lea x

I think this means the same as what you said? Maybe if you PM b&l , you may be able to get some advice.

Hope this helps

Kerry


----------



## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Ready - how horribly frustrating! Transphobia is such a massive problem which people often ignore/forget/have no interest in. I have no answers but please know you have our support on this board. Hope you find a donor soon!


----------



## b&amp;l (Oct 8, 2009)

I have just replied to your pm with my email address as I am lowsy at checking messages on here, hope to hear back from you soon you are not alone with how things are  

Lea x


----------

