# Chances of success in single figures - gutted



## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi ladies

Well I was back at the clinic this morning and still just two follicles (I don't know why I was expecting anything different). Oestrogen levels have risen as expected. The consultant said my chances of success are in single figures. He also said that increasing the doses of drugs in a future cycle wouldn't have any effect and that this is likely to be as good a response as I'll get with ivf. After talking it through with my husband (and a lot of tears!) we've decided that we've come this far, we can't stop now - even if the odds are minuscule.

So egg collection (probably in the singular!) is scheduled for Wednesday morning. I had booked this week and the start of next week as annual leave. But i managed to get a last minute appointment with my GP tomorrow to see if I can get a sick note for a couple of weeks. If I go back in to work, I have to listen to the 2 pregnant girls opposite talk baby talk ALL day - I don't think I can keep it together. And if I get as far as transfer, I need to do everything to help our tiny chance of success - I don't think being miserable in work will help. The only issue is I came clean and told my boss on Friday what I was at, as all the sneaking about and changing a/l at the last minute was stressing me out. While I did feel relieved, she is a real stickler for abiding by company policy, and the sickness policy in my place is draconian - if they can wriggle out of paying sick pay they will. I didn't check with hr what the deal was with ivf as I didn't want to flag up what I was planning to do. As if all this isn't stressful enough!

To top it all off, I came home after my appointment as I couldn't face work, to get a phone call from my Mum to say my elderly Dad (bed bound after several strokes and has dementia) was playing up and trying to get himself out of bed, so we had to drop everything and go to help.

I think I've cried that much I'm dehydrated! Why is life so £&#$ at times?!

Sorry for rambling on - just needed to vent. Thanks for reading xo


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## wendycat (Nov 18, 2006)

Just wanted to give you a much needed   Sounds like you're having a very rough time of it xx


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## Mrs tinkerbell (Sep 9, 2013)

Hightower it only needs one to make it work. We where told we had less than 10% chance of success first time but the way I looked on it was that therefore it happens for 10% of people in this position why should we not be one of them. Its hard to balance having hope and not setting up for a disappointment. I think your right to give it a go that small % chance is still better than not trying at all. I hope it all works out for you.


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## Katie789 (Dec 12, 2010)

Hightower 

I think you are right to keep going with your two follies. I have been in a similar position twice. On a private cycle they found three follies and urged me to cancel but as I was paying I went ahead and they actually got five excellent quality eggs as follicles contain 1-2 eggs. On my nhs cycle I was told I had nine follicles and ended up with ONE egg. The rest were actually cysts  . All fertilised on both cycles and turned into embies that could be transferred.  I wasnt sucessful in either cycle but my embies never stood a chance as my body attacked them and I needed aspirin to acheive pregnancy. What im saying is you just never can tell and I wish you well x


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Thank you all for your very kind words and support   Feeling a bit brighter now. I think it was just being told by my consultant that this was likely to be as good as it gets for me and ivf that drove it home. It didn't help that he rang when my hubby and I were out for lunch and I proceeded to bulb like a demented woman over my toastie!

Have just given myself the Ovitrelle injection in preparation for EC Weds am and am sitting here munching on pineapple core. Don't want to see pineapple for a long time after this!

Goodnight all

H  xo


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi hun,

We haven't crossed paths on here for ages! I just wanted t let you know thy when I cycled back in feb one of the girls at my clinic got pg with one egg collected after a natural cycle so definatley don't lose hope yet! Sounds like you're already feeling a bit more chipper so keep it up and you have I all rooting for you and chewing you on to the finish line! Good luck for Wednesday

Xx
Ducky


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Bless you Duckybun  

Went to see my GP this afternoon who has given me a sick note for 2 weeks. At least it buys me a bit of time out to just give my mind and body a bit of tlc. He is such a star - had all the time in the world while I cried (again!) and gave me some very sage advice. He's like Yoda!

So tomorrow we'll see what my ovaries have to offer...come on little follicles, hope you've got some eggs in there!


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Well we got one little egg this morning. We'll find out in the morning if it's been fertilized. Please God, please look after this little one


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

Good Luck High Tower.  I only ever got one or two eggs with my own.  I was not.successful but got to embryo transfer every time.  As they say it only takes one.  There is still hope.  This is only your first cycle and the protocol might not be the best for you to maximise your egg production.  It can take a couple of cycles to see how you respond.  Different clinics get very different results.  What was your AFC and AMF? 
TC x


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Evening Hightower, I'm keeping everything crossed for you tonight and hope there's lots of jiggy jiggy happening in the lab tonight  are they doing ivf or icsi? Your better be lounging around and taking it easy on the sofa tonight and treating yourself to some treats.

Xx
Ducky


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## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Hey Hightower. I am hoping that things are getting jiggy in the love lab for you tonight xx


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Thanks ladies for your support.

You're positive vibes have paid off. The embryologist rang (almost an hour later than we were expecting - my nerves are shot!) to say our little egg fertilized. They'll look at it again at 4pm today to see if it's dividing ok. If all goes ok   then it's ET lunchtime tomorrow. We were going to use their EEVA system for embryo selection but no need for that now seeing as there's just one.

Duckybun - it was ivf not icsi
Tincancat - they didn't measure my AFC but AMH was 3 ('low for my age')

Take care
HT xo


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Yay!!!! Hightower that's fab news, go embie go!!!

  

X
D


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## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Excellent news Hightower. Delighted for you sweetie


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Good luck for today Hightower, have a lovely transfer 

(Hi patbaz! I didn't want to go off on a tangent on hightowers thread but just wanted to say that I've got everything crossed for you too)

X
Ducky


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## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Thanks Ducky I am getting nervous now as this is last chance. Just waiting on af. How are you doing??


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi ladies

Our little 5 cell bundle was transferred back in at lunchtime, so now it's a waiting game. I really appreciate all your kind words - it was a huge help to know I'm not the only one going through this  

Need to keep myself busy for the next few weeks - got time off work so have got a pile of books to read of the 'how to figure out what to do with my life' sort of books. No matter what happens ivf-wise, all this has definitely made me realise that there is so much more to life than being stuck in a job that makes me so unhappy.  I'm going all hippy now!  

Hope all is well with you lovely ladies?

HT xo


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

Good news HT.
Enjoy the 2 weeks as being PUPO - no one can take that away from you.  There is still hope for that little embie of yours
TC x


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## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Whoo hoo Hightower. Congrats on being PUPO  enjoy being pregnant huni xx


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## Cather1ne (Nov 23, 2010)

Hi Hightower,

I only got 2 eggs collected and only one fertilised. That one embryo is now 10 months old so stay positive! I don't think being told your chances of success in figures is very helpful - the whole process is stressful enough.

Best wishes xx


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Thanks ladies   I had to google PUPO there to see what it meant - so many acronyms in this ivf business!

Totally agree with you Cather1ne - the single figures thing was hard to get my head around. It's lovely to hear success stories like yours - I'm sure your little one keeps you busy!

Have a lovely bank holiday weekend all  

HT xo


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Have read all if these posts sorry for snooping in but all along I was like please God let Hightowers egg fertilise and so delighted it did!! Can't believe it was with ivf and bit icsi! That is fantastic and welcome to PUPO. I'm a single digit girl! My first ivf they only spotted 2 follicles then 3 and got 6 eggs. This time even though I was double the amount if stimulant I still only managed single digits but it only takes one and all of us would just be happy to experience a pregnancy and a baby once in our lives. So this time I have 2 embies on board and have been given a 40% chance of success so am hanging onto that big time! 

Keep positive Hightower I'll be thinking if you x


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Bless you for your lovely kind thoughts Smiling Angel  

Am sending your 2 little embies some 'keep sticking' vibes - when did you have your ET done?


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

You are very welcome Hightower! My et was on Thursday. I'm 2dp3dt my OTD is May 16th. When is yours?


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## Mrs tinkerbell (Sep 9, 2013)

High tower I am so glad to see things so far have been going well for you. Keep the positive thoughts up. When's your test date?


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi ladies

Test date is 15th May   , got to keep myself busy until then!

HT xo


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Mine is May 16th Hightower so loads of wishes and prayers to us!!!


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hey Hightower,

Just checkin in to see how you're doing in the dreaded 2 ww. I hope you've been managing to have some distraction and fun times.

Still got everything crossed for you for the 15th!

Xx
Ducky


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Thanks Duckybun - that's so thoughtful of you   Hanging in there! Funny, I've been fine until today when it hit me when I woke up at 7am (on a Sunday grrrr!). So I got up and watched about 4 hours of back to back Made in Chelsea until my brain turned to mush. I don't know why I find the love lives of posh people so fascinating!

There's been quite a few tears today and I notice some big spots have appeared on my chin - but trying not to read into it.

Hope all you lovely ladies out there are keeping ok and looking after yourselves xo


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Hey all I'm 10dp3dt so it's getting very close for me which is really exciting and nerve wrecking all rolled into one!


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Smiling Angel I find 7/11 breathing helps when my mind starts to wander. Breathe in for 7 seconds, hold briefly then out for 11. While your brain is focussing on this it can't generate negative thoughts at the same time. Worth a try - hang in there! Xo


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Hi Hightower thanks so much for that. I'm doing Zita west relaxation which helps a lot also. I'm 11dp3dt and I got a bfp! Tbh have been getting them since Friday but with my history I can't get excited. Having lost 4 it's still very early stages but clinic were very positive and have even booked my scan for June 5th even though my OTD is not till Friday! Hoping above hopes baby / babies are snuggling in x


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Oh wow Smiling Angel that's fantastic news pet! So chuffed for you! Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers that this is your time to be a Mum   xo


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Thanks Hightower. I've turned into a psychology tester !! Another one this morning but it makes me feel good that they are still bfp xx I so want to enjoy this but so worried but trying my best bit to be x

How are your spots! These drugs would have everything happen to your body. My jeans just about close ur are uncomfortable so they are not worth wearing. I think your 11 days today ohhhh loads crossed for you and your fighter embie xx


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

It pains me to write this but I started bleeding last night and there's been more this morning. Not like a period - when I looked in the loo there was like a dense red at the bottom of the bowl. Too much info - sorry. Some cramps too. I go to the clinic tomorrow morning for the official test but I think I know the answer. Feel sick


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## Mrs tinkerbell (Sep 9, 2013)

High tower I am so sorry to read this. I still hope and pray tomorrow is good news. Big hugs to you please stay positive no matter what.


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Dear Hightower,

I'm sorry to hear you've had bleeding,  as tinkerbell says though we'll keep thinking positive for you for tomorrow, you just don't know till you've had the test. There are plenty of stories of ladies bleeding through bfps and hopefully you'll be one of them. Its so hard to go through all of this from start to finish and there's no way to make it easier, but you've just got to keep battling on through till you know for sure either way.

Lots of   thoughts for you xxx
Ducky


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Oh Hightower I truly hope this is just bleeding as so many people have. Hang in there and easier said than done I know but see if you can relax any xx


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

Thanks for your kind words girls  . I ended up going for my reflexology appointment this afternoon as it was too short notice to cancel. Bawled my eyes out the whole time and my reflexologist all upset too. Don't think I can cry much more - just feel numb. This infertility rollercoaster is really #@£%!

The bleeding is just getting heavier - a real mother of a period just to rub it in! I spoke to the nurse at the clinic who said I don't have to come up for the blood test. I can just do a pee test in the morning to confirm and let them know. I'm glad - think it would finish me off having to go back to the clinic tomorrow  

Take away and a (large) glass of vino tonight me thinks xo


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

Definitely high tower enjoy a fab reserve and your fav take away xx thinking of you x


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## HighTower (Jan 11, 2012)

So as expected, yesterday's pee test was a BFN. The dream is over for now   Still have my NHS cycle in the pipeline -  but I can't even begin to think about going through ivf again anytime soon.

Thanks ladies for all your support and kind words - it means a lot XO


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## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

So sorry Hightower. I know that there are no words x


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## smiling angel (Sep 2, 2012)

So very sorry Hightower xx


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## Mrs tinkerbell (Sep 9, 2013)

So sorry to hear that, take care of yourself.


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## icsi bitsy teeny weeny (Aug 18, 2011)

Ohh Hightower  I am very sorry to read this 
These things don't get any easier please find the strength to get through this horrible time  biggggg hugs xxxxx


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