# Starting IVF early Feb - Time off Work?



## Everlong09 (Dec 14, 2013)

Hello Everyone

I am new to this site. Me and my husband have been ttc for over 6 years. I've had 6 months of clomid then 6 months of Gonal F from our Fertility clinic over the past 4 years. I had a break during as it was too much emotionally for me. Our very last attempt at Gonal F we got our bfp but sadly miscarried at 7 weeks - still painful. That was in April and now we are starting our next phase. 

My big question is, I am unsure what to do about work. I am 6 months into a new role and I don't want to jeopardise my treatment with stress as ivf is always on my mind and the what if's. My nurse said to get signed off but I feel incredibly guilty about it - any advice

Many thanks!


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

I am waiting for my Thyroid to get to the right level and then I will be starting IVF, probably end of January or February! I'm very excited but also very nervous. I've been TTC for 2 years now and have PCOS and tubal problems. Sorry to hear about your m/c :0( 

Luckily i'm not working at the moment so time off isn't a problem but as i'm doing an egg share i have to travel from Yorkshire to London to do the IVF so the travel will be a bit of a nightmare. With regards to your work I truly believe that you should get signed off and not worry about it or stress. Do you have a good rapport with your boss in that you could speak to them about it in private, as i'm sure that they would be very understanding. The main thing is that you think of this as more of a priority than work as although work is important this is your LIFE and you have this amazing shot at doing IVF and if they have any decency they will understand how important this is to you xx


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

Hi Everlong09, I think your nurse has advised you well, I am a nurse and work on a very busy ward, but during our ivf treatment I went to my GP and got a note to sign me off for 2 months, I'm in the 2ww now and I'm back at work in January. You have been through enough as it is so don't feel guilty at all for taking time for yourself. With all the diagnostic tests and appointments before your treatment starts it will give you enough time to have a word with your HR team. You can not be penalised for having the time off as it is pregnancy related.. But it does come down to your own sanity, and whether you would prefer to work to keep your mind off your treatment. I'm also so sorry for your loss, you have been through a lot. You do what you think is right for you Hun.. Never ever feel guilty!! Xx


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## Marmot (Aug 6, 2009)

I've just had a natural IVF cycle and will be starting another one in January. 

My employer doesn't give any paid time off for IVF. I have managed appointments by working flexibly and taking holiday when I needed whole days off. I could have asked my GP to sign me off but I wouldn't want to do that unless I really needed to - I want to be fair to my employer and overall I think it's been helpful to have work as a distraction rather than sitting at home obsessing about treatment. I work in an office so it's not a physical job and because we've done natural IVF (no stimulating drugs) it has probably been less grueling (but required daily scans at some stages, so it was disruptive). If I felt like I was struggling I would see my GP about it. But because of the job I do I think it might store up problems for when I got back and I think I might feel more stressed wondering what was going on while I was away. 

I have been open with my manager which has helped. But I still do sometimes feel like I'm 'sneaking around' as my colleagues don't know and it has been awkward sometimes to announce I need them to cover a meeting but being vague about why. I have worked at my employer for 5 years and in my current role for 2 years so it probably helps that I have built up some 'goodwill' in that time. 

If you have choice about clinic location then that can really help fit appointments around work. 

I wouldn't prioritise work over having another baby. But the reality is that we might not be successful and my job is an important part of my life so I'd like to combine both if I can. 

It is my understanding that employment law in the UK only provides legal protection for pregnancy related reasons once you are actually pregnant (in IVF terms this is counted from embryo transfer). Although an employer would probably want to be careful they weren't discriminating on the grounds of gender by refusing to be flexible about appointments etc if they would be flexible if a man needed equivalent time off. I'm not an employment lawyer though. 

Good luck whatever you decide.


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

I was concerned about having time off to start with but I was assured by HR that fertility treatment IS pregnancy related even before embryo transfer. The doctors note is to make sure you get sick pay while off work, as a lot of companies don't give 'special paid leave'. X


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

I can imagine that some employers are a lot more understanding than others, but at the end of the day taking time off for IVF treatment is just as important as someone taking time off for any other medical reason and if the boss themself was having IVF they would definitely take time off and not feel bad about it! To not be understanding about this is the same as discriminating against someone for being pregnant or taking maternity leave, its a right not a discretion or an inconvenience. I don't think that it would be very nice having to go into work during treatment because the drugs might make you feel rubbish and hormonal and there is also the risk of OHSS so it would be much better to be at home relaxing and not stressing and grafting at work x


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## Cay23 (Jan 12, 2011)

Hi ladies,

To clarify:

*Frettens Solicitors*: http://www.frettens.co.uk/site/library/legalnews/Employment_law_Q_and_A_IVF_and_the_workplace

"There is no statutory right to paid time off from work for IVF treatment. However, some employers have policies that specifically allow for this. Partners of women undergoing the treatment may also be included. In the absence of such a policy, an employee may wish to use part of their annual leave entitlement or, alternatively, may request unpaid leave. Employers should be mindful that refusing such a request may lead to a claim of sex discrimination, if an employee can show that such a request by a male would not have been turned down (direct discrimination) or the reason for rejecting the request disproportionately disadvantages women and cannot be objectively justified (indirect discrimination). Once a woman has had fertilized ova implanted she is technically pregnant and therefore entitled to paid time off for ante-natal care."

*Croner*: http://www.croner-i.croner.co.uk/croner-i/gateway.dll/edpa-resources/edpa-features/edpa-features-content/edpa-gold-features-dcam-5510405?f=templates$fn=edpa-frameset.htm$3.0

"Practical workplace issues: There is no statutory right for an employee to take time off work in connection with infertility investigations or treatment. Time off for medical appointments in connection with infertility treatment should be dealt with in the same way as for any other medical appointment. If an employee becomes ill as a result of infertility treatment, they should receive statutory sick pay (SSP) in the usual way."

*Charles Russell Solicitors*: http://www.charlesrussell.co.uk/UserFiles/file/pdf/Employment/briefing%20note%20-%20Undertaking%20IVF.pdf

"Will my employer give me paid time off work to have IVF treatment?
You don't have an automatic right to paid time off to have IVF treatment, but some employers have policies in place that allow for time off for fertility treatment. Check with your employer if it has such a policy and if it doesn't, you can use part of your annual leave entitlement to attend medical appointments, or request unpaid leave. If your request for unpaid leave is refused you may have a claim against your employer for sex discrimination."


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

Jane29 I agree with you!   xx


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

The legal stance sucks a bit i'm really shocked that someone actually has to feel like they even need to tell someone that they are doing fertility treatment or IVF - surely if a doctor signs you off for a 'medical reason' the doctor should be respected enough in their profession for that to be enough to warrant 'sick pay'. Medical stuff is highly confidential in my eyes and a doctors note should be enough. x


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

Absolutely!! 
I'm fortunate that I work for the NHS and I've been given full sick pay for the duration of our IVF treatment. They are the best employer EVER!!
They also allow 2 days paid leave in any ivf cycle for appointments scans etc.. 
They have been totally understanding and supportive which has took a great deal of stress off me.

How are we all feeling today?? Im going crazy on google today..  Been getting pinching pains above pubic bone.. Has anyone else had this? I'm REALLY hoping its implantation pains as I'm now 6 days past 2 day transfer.. Xx


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

Yeh i know a couple of people who work for NHS and they are really great for all this kind of thing and so understanding. I think that discrimination is alive and well in many organisations and even if they do something wrong or that contravenes law its not as easy as people think to actually sue and take them to court. I have been to two interviews before where I was outrightly asked if I would be thinking of starting a family any time soon as they weren't prepared to train someone up and spend the money if i was to then go on maternity leave and it wouldn't be compatible with a small company with limited money!!! I also worked as a secretary at one point for a man who smoked in the office, he once sat on my desk grinning and smoking and said 'You could sue me for this but guess what....I don't care'!!!! I just ignored him I think he thought he was being funny! x


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

OMG!!! That is unbelievable!! You saying that tho I worked for a company who sacked me after 3 months for being pregnant, cus I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't have any time off sick.. It's a big well known company as well! I ended up m/c anyway but I did take them to a tribunal court and I won! I had 4 cases against them.. I was only in my probationary period as well so you can do it.. I've heard that if you are discriminated against even at the interview stage you can take them to court.. X


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

The trouble with taking people to court is the actual 'Evidence' that what you are claiming actually happened..unless i recorded the conversation I can't imagine that there would be enough evidence so half the time its just not worth it. I've had loads of crap happen to me that would be difficult to prove, when i was a PA a few years ago me and my boss were away at a trade fair and when we got back to the hotel he got drunk and groped me in the bar. I found another job shortly after and handed in my resignation. I was really tempted to take legal action but then i thought that there was very little proof it ever happened and it was just my word against his. I'm really enjoying not working at the moment i think i've just had some very bad experiences and it made me a bit disillusioned with it all. Praying IVF will work and i can start a family in 2014 x


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

I hope and pray you do too Jane.. Have they tested you for elevated thyroid antibodies? 
You know I found that unless you do your own research, cross reference etc etc doc's won't look into things. I've had an impossible 10 years of researching.. I wasn't even tested for folate levels until earlier this year! Turns out I'm deficient.. It can cause a multitude of problems.. I had to see a geneticist with a list of my own researches regarding chromosome translocation problems.. It's shocking really!!
I feel like a doctor already with all my own researching hahaha! X


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

Hey well i had to have a load of blood tests for the Lister egg sharing from AMH, to chromosomes, loads of different things i did about 8 vials of blood and they all came back fine, but then i had a Thyroid Profile which showed i was borderline under active, I think it came back at 3.9 and needs to be 2.5 before I can do egg share so i'm on Thyroxine now hoping to reduce it in 3 to 4 weeks. What does Folate Levels mean?? I was originally with Manchester Fertility and they were not very good with me, they told me I wouldn't need to check tubes straight away as i was low risk and then allowed me to spend loads of money on Pills and injects as i obviously trussed their judgment, only to have a hycosy later on and find i had serious tubal issues. I could have saved a lot of money if only i'd known  x


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

Folate is folic acid Hun..sorry! Defiency in folic acid can cause miscarriage.. My DH was born with spina bifida and I was folate deficient.. I really do think that contributed to our 19 miscarriages..  But in all the time we were having diagnostic tests they never picked up on it.. I also have a balanced chromosome translocation involving chromosome 15 and the sex chromosome but apparently that's not a cause for concern as the part which has translocated doesn't contain any important genetic info. Xx


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## jane29 (Aug 11, 2013)

Hey, omg 19 m/c's that is absolutely awful, poor you for having to go through that heartbreak :0( So sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I hope that 2014 brings you your baby for keeps xx I was reading about intralipid infusion the other day for ladies who have had recurrent m\c's, have you heard about it? I'm glad that they have diagnosed you though now and that hopefully something can be done to help this situation.

I take folic acid every day as well as other vitamins like Vitamin B Complex, Vitamin D, Co-enzyme Q10 and Omega 3 fish oils. I was also taking a baby aspirin every day to help blood flow to the reproductive area but my Thyroxine says not to take with Aspirin so stopped it for now x


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## Dare78 (Dec 14, 2013)

Does having a meltdown count as over doing it My DH is really get to me at the moment.. He was lovely all through the meds and now I've had the transfer he thinks nothing of upsetting me.. What doesn't help is that I packed up smoking and with the stress of 'is it gonna work' I'm losing the plot!! It's as tho because his parts over its back to normal... I'm so upset right now!! I've just smashed our picture.. I feel like  Right now arrrgh!!  X


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## Everlong09 (Dec 14, 2013)

Thank you all SO much! It's so good speaking to people who know exactly what I'm going through. Only me and my DH know about our journey and what's happened in the past so it's good to speak about things. 

I have been with my company 3 years next year and in my new role for 6 months. I only went for my new job as I was fed up putting my life on hold. It was a great opportunity but my team leader is HORRIBLE so there is absolutely no way I would tell her, I don't particularly trust HR either (which is terrible) 

What makes it all worse is someone in my team finishes end of jan for maternity leave and I'm taking over her work so it's bad timing in that respect but my absolute dream is to be a mum and this job means nothing to me at the end of the day! I just feel bad for leaving them in a sticky situation for a few weeks as this is when they will need me. 

I was thinking on booking holidays but then they will only probably be rejected as they'll need me! It's such a horrible situation and I feel so sneaky. 

I work in an office so physically there's no issue there. However it's a stressful environment at times and I want to focus on what's important to me. I just worry about what people think/say about me when I'm off. 

I'll take the festive period to think about it all and decide then. I want to be signed off I just can't help feel guilty. 

xxxx


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