# 1st Home visit



## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi All,

So we have the date for our 1st home visit, spent all day with other half cleaning lol

I'm compiling a list of questions to ask social worker, but know i'll forget something 

Can anyone help? Also any questions which would make us look really good would be appreciated or questions you wished you hadn't asked too.

All info and past experiences too would be handy, also we have a dog, anyone had any issues with pets?

How long did you have to wait to be told you could go ahead with adoption and when did you get dates for prep course?

As you can see i'm very nervous 

Thanks

xx


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## Hunibunni (Jan 18, 2009)

Hi Dawn
I know exactly how you feel as you don't know what to expect.  At my initial home visit the SW just went through what was said during the initial telephone conversation, wanting to know family background, asking what we knew about adoption and the types of children who are looking for their forever families, what type of child we were looking for, ages, if you were wanting to adopt siblings etc.  She was here for around 2.5 hours but it seemed to fly by.  I didn't have set questions really, just wanted to know more about the process etc.  She then had a quick look around the house and garden and had a good nosey at the photographs I have in frames! I heard quite quickly that we could proceed, literally a day or so after she spoke to her manager and signed the initial visit report within a week.
Hope that helps.  Good luck and most of all chill!  I don't think they expect to walk into a show home!   
xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Just a quick note regarding your dog.

Make sure your agency/social workers know about the dog before they arrive, that's the best time to find out if either are allergic/nervous of them.

You will need to have you dog assessed as part of your Home Study, especially if they are the type to jump up at people or bark at strangers.


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

Just be yourself , I remember being very nervous on our first visit but our SW was so nice and the visit flew by ! Know all your dates ie when you met , moved in the house , married , etc a,s this helps . 
Also we haven't got a dog but have 2x cats , 6xrabbits , 3xhorses , and all pets we're fine , we were asked would we rehome the cats if LO had allergies etc but we said no , as my cats are 18 years old now and both on medication , the SW was fine with this and understood re how old our cats were and what our animals have meant to us over the last ten years of us being childless ( my fur babies lol ) 
Think there's more involved with a dog tho xx


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Thanks for all the support

Hunnibunni and Smudgey, you've both put my mind at ease. We'll try to be ourselves and I've got some yummy snacks in lol

Hunnibunni I've heard home visits can take 3-4 hours, you did well with 2.5 hours 

Pauliboo, I did ring the VA last week after your help and advised of our dog so thanks for that

Thanks Again xx


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

We had our 1st home visit 2 weeks ago. It took 4 hours. We were exhausted afterwards but it went very well. Good luck xx


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## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

Hi, ours was a general chat about our family history, she explained the full process, had a quick look around the house and garden.

She was there for about 2 hours - and she told us there and then she saw no problem with us moving on and she told us the next available prep day, it then got confirmed by a letter a week later.

Our dog jumps alot so she explained we needed to work on that but in general it's not a problem (of course if they are agressive it would be a problem) - our SW has visited once since for a catch up (and to do our DBS forms) and saw an improvement with the jumping so is happy we are moving in the right direction   we just have a questionnaire to complete for our dog, they may ask us to do more when we get to home study but for now thats all we have had to do (prep day in november so still early stages) 

xx


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## Starmaker73 (Jun 28, 2013)

Dawn, I have a dog too and he is big and bouncy.  My SW says she doesn't see a huge problem with him but she wants to see him interacting with small children.  Yikes, I'm worried about that waggy tail of his.

Good luck with you first home visit, try to relax and enjoy it.


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## claudia6662 (Aug 29, 2013)

Hey, i have my first home visit tomorrow and i can feel the nerves kicking in like crazy. Im glad im only working the morning shift then having a quick lunch with the other half before she arrives. Maybe its the realisation that this is actually going to happen. 
Hope everything is going well for everyone elsexxxx


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## claudia6662 (Aug 29, 2013)

Hi all, well me and bf have just had our first home visit and we had two social workers coming round ( two, my heart thudded hard when bf told me when picking me up from work.)
It all went really well and she loved the spare bedroom and that i had so much childcare experience. They were both really nice and friendly too so i dont know what the panick was about. She asked bf about some personal issues and how did they effect him and did he get depression etc and how was he now and he said he was fine.
It was the same for me when questioning my ivf , was i offered counciling and i said at the unit it wasnt even mentioned.The day they said they wasnt going to continue ivf i had the afternoon off from work and i was back the next day. The social worker then said it must of been a tough time and i said it was but with the help from the best family ever  and friends we got through it .

After looking round the house she said how thankful she was at both of us being honest and we will find out next wednesday if we get to stage one. 

This is something that we are both definatley wanting now , feeling so nervous and apprehensive x


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Just read everyone's replies as it's nearly time for our home visit 

You've all been so helpful and put my mind as ease

Adoption dreams - congrats, bet that a big relief getting through, I think everyone who looks to adopt tends to know what they're facing and the challenges ahead and I think this makes all adopters and future adopters the best possible parents, as you'll never take ur children for granted.

Hope everything continues well for you 

KimmieB - Wow they gave you prep dates too, fab! hope our VA are as organised lol

Congrats too, it's huge being accepted for the first stage

I've heard a few people on the site advise we'd need to fill a questionnaire in for our dog, he's lovely but barks for a few mins when anyone comes into the house haha

Claudia6662 - glad everything went well, can't believe they make you wait another week, it'd drive me mad lol sure you'll be fine, keep us all posted (fingers crossed for you)

xxx


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## claudia6662 (Aug 29, 2013)

thanks Dawn, i know they said either next tuesday or wednesday. Its just the waiting i cant deal with but ive been pretty busy at work so that keeps my mind occupied.

I hope everything works out well for you too and i can completley agree that we would never take our kids for granted . I just find the whole process fascinating xxx


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## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

Hi

We submitted some of our check forms for references etc last week, next step will be initial visit.  Just wondering for those on new system just wondering how long did you wait for your initial visit after submitting check forms?

We've been told there may be a delay between stage one and two of the process due to demand since new system, anyone else been told this? 

X


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## Loopylou41 (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi TillyT

We submitted our forms one and a half weeks ago and have our first home visit this afternoon - eek!!!!  House is tidy(ish) and clean and I have bought some nice cookies to go with a cup of tea or coffee.... 

A bit nervous but we are just going to be ourselves and honest about things and see what happens.  

It seemed very quick to me, alot quicker than I thought, but I guess things may slow down once we get into the process.

Good luck.
xx


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## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

We had a bit of a wait from the initial form being sent to first home visit - but this was purely because our sw was on holidays and busy.

We've had to ask for an extension with stage 1 twice now - the government have said that it should only take 2 months to do all the checks (DBS, LA checks, medicals, employee refs, personal refs) but our sw told us that they haven't had a single one that they have done in 2 months - it's just not realistic!! This hasn't however delayed us going on our first prep day - again we had to wait a long time for an available date as all the others were full!!

We have our stage one review in December and as it was just one employee ref and medicals (which we've now done) we should be good to go! 

xx


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi TillyT, Loupylou & Kimmieb. We had our initial visit first, then were invited to prep a month later. We start prep on Tue and sent in our reference and LA list last week (the day after they sent the forms to us) so doubt they've been looked at yet. We have to take our completed DBS forms with us to prep day 1. We are doing the new system... I find it amazing how the LA's are still so different on the order they approach things   
TillyT, I don't think there is an answer for a time as everything in stage 1 can be concurrent as my situation shows.  It depends if your LA work quick or slow & their case loads it would seem. Good luck


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Dawn7 said:


> Just read everyone's replies as it's nearly time for our home visit
> 
> You've all been so helpful and put my mind as ease
> 
> ...


Thank you. I'm feeling really positive with the process so far. We started this process on the 21st May and now we're waiting to be allocated our SW to start the home study. They advised me on Thursday that this might take 6-8 weeks. I've already waited 5 years so I'm sure a few extra weeks won't kill me. I'm a really organised person and have completed a lot of the home study evidence already. I'm also reading lots of books. I'm hoping this will speed up the process and get us to panel a bit sooner. They suggest assessment can take between 4-6 months - I'm clinging to 4. I keep reminding myself that 'good things come to those who wait' this is the path we've been out on - for a reason. I truly believe it will all become clear when our little one walks through the door! &#128591;&#128591;

I'm keeping you all in my prayers xx


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## Loopylou41 (Apr 26, 2011)

Hi Ladies,

We had our initial home visit, SW was here 3 hours. She was very nice and put my mind at rest with regard to the process and us having a BC.

She said we would hear soon to advise if we can progress, but she didn't seem to have any issues with any information we gave her. The only question is we will be converting our garage early next year and she said no building work should be taking place during the process. So I am going to try and move this on quickly as possible.

I don't think a few months either way will make much difference. 

Xxx


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Hi guys,

We sent out form off just this week and we have our first SW visit (there is going to be 2 of them!!! - arghh) on Tuesday.

I am absolutely petrified.

Has anyone given up smoking for this? I always thought I would do it easily if I was pregnant, and obvs we can't adopt if i smoke but it's so much harder, especially with this added pressure all I want to do is chain smoke lol! 

It's great to have others to discuss with who are at similar stage to us, I was so excited a few days ago when they said they were coming but I can't get all of the negatives out of my head now. What if my house isn't big enough? What if my BMI is too high? What if my credit report isn't A*? What if they fail me on my medical? 

I am probably overreacting but I am feeling so stressed and don't know if I can be like this for the next 6-9 months - hardly sleeping, stressed out!

Help!


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi Nicola, we had two come on our initial visit. One was a SW, the other worked for the agency. One kind of lead the discussions & the other wrote everything down & asked additional questions. It was daunting initially there being two but i could see the benefits. It flowed really well without awkward pauses because she didn't have to speak & write etc. Don't panic, they really do put you at ease. Your credit doesn't need to be A1, as long as you can afford that extra mouth. They do like one of you to take a year off work & that you can afford it.

I can't comment on the stopping smoking I'm afraid. I know it's so easy to say but really, don't stress. I am a big stressed but so far i can honestly say I'm enjoying it. Health wise you don't need to be an athlete, just healthy enough to parent a child. Maybe go to a gym or do some form of exercise a couple of times a week to a) de-stress & b) honest proof to tell your gp & SW about your health when the time comes.

On Tue i look forward to reading a post by you saying you don't know what you were so worried about & what a great visit you had   
Good luck with everything x


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Thanks magergal!
You are so right - I maybe need to get to bed and try and sleep so my mind stops ticking over so much 
Hopefully that post will be there on Tuesday


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## claudia6662 (Aug 29, 2013)

Hi Nicola30, i saw your post and you mentioned that you have to give up smoking . I used to smoke alot and for me to do IVF i had to stop. It was tough ill admit that but what i kept reminding myself was if i really wanted a child this much then smoking was a no no . I had a good friend constantly reminding me to stop smoking and that helped so much. 
If you really want to do adoption you know what you want most of all. 
I wish you lots of luck Nicola and you have everyone on here for support xxxx


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## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

I quit smoking 6 months before I stopped the pill to start TTC - my husband had quit the year before and said that we would only start trying if we were in optimum health - I used one of those little white things that look like a tampon (only way to describe!) as my doctor said that you looked like an idiot using it - I therefore used it for 3 days didn't like it and that was it......2 1/2 years later I don't think about it all (well apart from the very odd occasion) 

You can do it if you focus - you just have to want to quit, if you don't really want to then you won't.

Good luck 
x


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

I gave up smoking, I've been using electric cigarettes, it's still nicotine but it's not bad like smoking. I've not looked back and slowly getting bored with it so will gradually use it less and less. But will keep it in a drawer so never tempted to start again. I was a pack a day smoker so there is light at the end of the tunnel


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