# Spatch's Adoption Diary



## spatch

Hi all

Have been chatting away to you all on the other boards but thought it might help keep me sane and help others if i start my own diary.

Here goes

Me 25 DH 24 TTC 4yrs married 4Yrs
Low sperm and no mobility found out crimbo 06
Failed ICSI on NHS March 08

We had looked into adoption before ICSI but then we were offered our free attempt.

March 08 starting looking for an agency. Our LA were awful. Basically told us to ring back next year as they wanted a year after IVF, no staff etc - Were told you are young you have time!!! (what a cheek) Rang again at a later date told different info.

Then realised i could look at other agenicies. Went to two Information evenings in July.

1st one had a long waiting list (may get us on 2009 prep course) the other were perfect

Saturday 16th August

SW came for inital visit. Stayed an hour and half. Asked lots of basic questions about us, work, family, network, house, area etc. Our dog was very well behaved it was like she knew!  She said we should be on the September Prep Course starting 6th!!!! Now just waiting for confirmation letter of dates.


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## spatch

How funny after posting the above our letter with our prep course dates has just arrived though the post - Yeah!!!!

All in September and luckly 3 out of 4 are on a staurday!!

OMG the process has really started 
x


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## Spaykay

GREAT NEWS!


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## spatch

1st day of prep course starts tomorrow! Have to say i am nervous, worried and excited!!! Have no idea of where we are going?? Must charge up the sat nav!! Any way will report back on Sunday.
Have a fab weekend everyone xx


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## Camly

good luck for tomorrow  

lots of love camly  x x x


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## popsi

spatch.. good luck for tomorrow x <hope you dont mine me popping in i am a newbie  )


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## spatch

Thanks for your good luck messages!!

Well i was nervous as a leaf but everything went really well.

Had a good time - am actually looking forward to next week!!!

I think they took it easy on us this week but we came home shattered and did nothing all evening!!

there are 16 couples and there are two couples which are really nice and we had good chats with. SW knew i was nervous so were really nice and kept checking i was ok!! 

We were the youngest by miles which we thought could be a problem but it didnt seem to be!!

I am soooo happy we are finally really into the adoption route xx


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## spatch

PREP COURSE DAY 2

Well had a manic weekend with getting tyres and doing the shopping and visiting family and working!!!!

DAy 2 was fantastic!! The SW talking now concetrates on play therapy and the way she talked to us made everything sink in. She was really passionate about her job. We also did really fun activities and there was lots of giggles.

An adoptive parent was also there to talk to us and that was really helpful. Cant wait to do our family book!!! (im sad like that) lol

So all in all looking forward to next week. Oh also asked how long after prep course until the next step (HS) and was told it would be about 4-6 weeks. Although national adoption week falls in that time and then we are very close to crimbo. Would be great to start home study before crimbo though.

Then to finish my Sunday i won about £30 at bingo - paid for my night and took a little home!! Yippee

spatch xxx


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## spatch

Hi all

What a lovely weekend regarding the weather - its my favourite time of year - sunny with a the hint of cold winter.

Well day 3 of prep course was hard going - we went over Trauma & abuse - glad thats over im sure thats the worst bit.

Still enjoying it though and cant believe there is only one day left to do.

Will update you on weds if i get time the next 4 weeks are going to be manic

Take care all

spatch xx


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## spatch

Prep Course Day 4

Although the last day was the easiest for content i was very tired and found it very difficult to take the info in! Im guessing as sooo much info to take in over 4 days my little brain couldnt take much more!!!!

Today i am exhausted and cannot wait until Saturday to have a rest.

All in all i really enjoyed the prep course and we have decided we are def going to contiue and formally apply.

SW would like us to wait a few days to think about this so i will be ringing in on Tuesday (no time on Mon over busy day!) to ask for our application form.

OMG!! I really cant believe the first part of the adoption process is already done and dusted!!

We made lots of good friends and everyone has swapped addresses and numbers!!

Anyway better do some work he he 

spatch x


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## Spaykay

Great news Spatch  

Kay xxx


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## spatch

Ok i have rung the LA to say we would like to continue! Was told i had rung to soon but that my name would be put down to be sent a application form in 2 weeks! 

Some how doesnt seem very positive so am hoping we havent already been stopped form continuing??

Oh well have to see in 2 weeks

xx


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## vixie

Hi Spatch,

Your story is really encouraging. Keep posting and the positivity!

We have just had our initial home visit today, and feel like they were trying to totally put us off the idea. 2.5 hours... it seemed like they were really trying to present a worst case synario, for example, inferring that I was unrealistic to plan to go back to work (even if it was part time after taking a year off), and they want to get in touch with both of our ex'es (despite us having split from them over a year before we got together 3 years ago). They also inferred that I/we haven't grieved enough yet following the infertility diagnosis and failed IVF attempts. I feel that I/we can be a fair judge of that. I feel exhausted. They said that they'd take a few weeks to write up the meeting and contact us again when we have had a chance to explore some things further. Gulp. 

Anyway, out for dinner to compensate.

Vixie


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## spatch

Thank you Vixie

Please keep going they will test you and they will want to dig right in your life but just keep saying to yourselves this is what i want to do! Sw's have told us they do not try to catch you out in anyway! 

If you dont hear from them in a few weeks just give them a chase up call. As for chance to explore more the BAAF website do some very good books to buy.

Also if you are not entirley happy with the LA? (guessing) then do call some other LA or VA to see how they work.

Hope you had a good dinner and that my diary has been useful. Keep in touch and let us know how your doing.

Spatch x


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## spatch

A real quick post as im off for a 8yr olds birthday lunch! 

The application was in the post this morning - so that will keep us busy!!

fill it in send it off and then we are on to the next part - HOMESTUDY ARGH

spatchx


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## spatch

Real quick post - application is going into the post TONIGHT

Yeah
xx


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## spatch

well we sent the application form back about 4 weeks ago and yesterday rang to see where we are!

Great news - we have a social worker and home study starts in two weeks!!!! Yeah two weeks!!! 

DH may get made redundant next week so fingers crossed this doesnt happen as this would put us behind!!  

oh and i am sighned of with broncitis but all in all things are looking good xx


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## Camly

hey spatch!

great news about your social worker and hs.  keep us posted.  

fingers x'd your dh doesnt get made redundant.  get well soon.

x x x


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## spatch

Hi all!!!

Well we have had our first Home Study session today!!!

Booked a couple more dates and talked about our support network and did CRB's

Our social Worker seems lovely!! which is a relief!!

We have our homework to do and are just so happy to have started homestudy before christmas!!

i am all happy happy happy xx


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## spatch

Things are moving very quick at the moment!!

Our medical forms were in the post, friends & work have our references!!!

Oh and it is getting close to christmas - my favourite time of year!!!!

Working hard on our home work and very busy which is great!!

To think our LA told us to ring back in Jan 09 and we are already on the homestudy with our agency!!!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY xxx


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## spatch

Second HS appointment today

Went really well again. Talked through our history and we have to write all about us & history for our homework. That will keep us really busy over the christmas holiday. 2 days and counting!!! (i work in a school)
Have been told that it is about 6 - 8 sessions we have to do and she is hoping we will be ready for panel in April!!!!!!!!!! So from first visit to possible panel would be about 10 months OMG everything is moving fast now!!

Wishing everyone a merry christmas and lots of luck for the New Year (incase i dont get back on before)
Spatch xx


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## spatch

Sat here trying to do our homework - i have such a bad memory!!

Christmas was awful! Gran died on christmas eve and she so wanted to be a great grandmother. 

Had diarreah since 27th dec and have lost 2 stone and had lots of pain! 1st week back to work and ive been signed off sick! Great start to 2009! This was meant to be "our year".

Anyway hoping SW was correct and that we will be to panel in April!!! Thats not long!!!!

Also saw Sis in law and her pregnancy didnt bother me (breakthrough) although i am still dreading when she gives birth!!

Right back to homework.


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## spatch

Just had 3rd HS session and things moving along nicely. Went over our life story homework, did a bit on our area, touched on the children - ages, disability etc. 

Homework is to look at our child experience.

Medicals have been booked for next week.  £73 each!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have the next 3 meetings every other week!! Argh - full on. Looks like Panel will be May not April but have to wait and see. Next HS is Health & Safety - list coming to us next week then we had better get safety proofing our house!!! LOL

Blissfully happy that things are moving!!!


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## spatch

Just had 4th HS meeting. We had our health and safety and pet checks. Again everything is going quite smoothly. Realised it is getting close to approval now which is very exciting.  Looks like May date. 
Little bit of homework on the area to do. Medicals have been sent.

She went to see my mum and dad today aswell. They said it was good and they really liked her.

All in all feeling good. 

Bad News - spoke to work about hours/days once adopted and looks like i am going to need to find a new job (my boss is horrid and picking on me at the moment!!) Not a def no but very unlikely that i can drop hours!!! Stupid as i dont have enough work to do now!!!

anyway enough moaning!!!


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## Camly

hiya spatch

glad you are feeling good bout hs - may will be here in no time  

that sucks about your work. check it out where you stand legally as i dont think they can not be flexible?  im sure there is a board on here for work issues, may be worth asking the question?

good luck x x x


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## spatch

Thanks Calmy

And big Congrats on being approved!!!!!! 

I will def look at work issues

xx


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## spatch

5th Homestudy

Well panel we are booked for MAY!!!! although still could be in April depending on CRB and medical quickness!!

looked at types of children and finances today - all seemed well!!

Have to write our 500 word summary by next week - scary and hard not sure where to start!!!

SW now off to see one refernce and DH parents so def full steam ahead!!

Will update in two weeks - possibly last HS.


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