# Struggling to maintain strict healthy diet



## over40andpositive (Aug 7, 2014)

Hi everyone,

As I am posting this in over 40's everyone here understands that time is ticking for us and we all want to do everything possible to make us mommies.  I am 43 and had been following a pretty strict diet (by my standards) no alcohol, coffee, or sugar since August.  I am finding it sooooo hard to maintain and have fallen off the wagon so to speak....drink 1-2 cups of coffee a day (my clinic says up to 3 is fine), drink about 4 beers a week (my clinic does not say this is ok) and eat sugar.  I still eat healthy, take loads of vitamins etcccc  Anyway I just wanted to hear from anyone who is struggling too and give me some advice or positive energy for a second wind of sticking to less caffeine and alcohol And I'd LOVE to hear from anyone who got pregnant without being 100% caffeine + alcohol free.  The truth is I feel so guilty all the time and miserable if I do or don't and I know this can't be good for fertility either.  Both my partner and I have lost our lightness in life  

Many good vibes and prayers for all of us!!!
over40


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## chooshoos (Dec 18, 2014)

hello!
I have a lot of weight to lose, I am trying to drop a few kilos before DET but I am realistic that at 45 I don't have oodles of time to spend on a diet, so have to balance weight risk with risk of not being able to go ahead in a year or so from now. 

I am doing intermittant fasting or the 5/2 plan, in case you don't know it you keep to around 500 calories 2 days a week and eat reasonably for the other 5. The good thing is although the 2 days are REALLY hard, I know that the following day I can have what I want. 

Have not given up wine entirely, but I have cut down dramatically and am avoiding to drink for days or weeks at a time, chosing when I feel like a glass or two. Coffee is not such a big deal for me, I drink very weak tea and I don't mind decaf so it doesn't worry me.

What has helped for me is a specific date (or window) for our treatment, so its not just theoretical

Good luck and think about the wonderful start you are giving you little one
X


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## EssieJean (Aug 11, 2011)

H ladies.. I'm also struggling with the weight and exercise and I agree it's a lot harder in my forties, (especially after 5 cycles), but this week I've made a concerted effort and did a jog up our lane last night, exercisewise that is as far as I have got.  I have bought Davina's 7 minute exercise dvd but sat watching it while eating a big bag of crisps    Well, I think its important that you watch through exercise dvd's first to make sure you're doing the exercises properly    Tomorrow I will endeavour to put them into practice!

I've also started the 5/2 diet.... doing okay at the moment.  The veggie chilli is yummy but it's king prawn fluffy omelette tonight  

Good luck everyone 

Essie xx


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## kazzzee (Jul 29, 2014)

I've been focused on diet and nutrition since August. It can feel so restrictive that sometimes you just have to take a break, but when you do it's hard to get back on it, isn't it  

I tend to fixate a bit on my weight, not that I'm trying to lose weight, but because if it's going up its because I'm eating the wrong stuff, and it reminds me of that. 

I've found it relatively easy to give up alcohol because I've realised that I don't like it all that much. But the hardest part is hoping people won't notice that I'm not drinking! I imagine when they realise that I'm not drinking they think I'm pregnant, which is kind of depressing (they will stop presuming I am pregnant soon). Not drinking makes being social quite challenging, I tend not to go out for drinks after work just to avoid awkward questions... 

I'd been without coffee for a while and then after my failed cycle in January I had a few days where I had coffee, but I quickly realised I was starting to crave it, so I gave it up again. At work when we go and make 'tea' I use the Yogi tea bags, the Choco variety. They are nice. 

I've not eaten wheat and gluten since 2008. That was when I discovered I'm intolerant - actually I suspect I am celiac but it's never been tested, all I know is I'm very ill and in a lot of pain if I have the tiniest amount. So it's easy for me not to eat that stuff! I'm terrified of it! 

I'm also intolerant of milk, but I have been known to eat the odd bit of chocolate. (Makes it tricky to get the extra protein during stimming!) 

It's the sweet stuff I struggle to give up. I have a real sweet tooth. I try and make sure that I stick to fruit when I am craving something sweet. I find that the best way to deal with these things is to find something healthy to supplement. I eat raisins for a sugar hit, or, recently, I've been eating those little 'easy-peal' oranges that seem to be in all the supermarkets right now. They are quite sweet. I could sit and eat a whole bag, one after the other... (Bit more healthy than a box of chocolates, which I would also eat one after the other given half a chance).

What else... I've tried to be organic where possible - although it's costing me and I need to be saving money so I might pull back on that a bit. Waitrose is brilliant for organic stuff, you can get practically everything, of course it's pricy though!

I've also changed all my cleaning products and laundry detergent to organic. And my shower gel, deodorant and make up. 

Trying to protect my little eggies from the nasty toxins! 

And I'm taking co-Q10 amongst all the usual vitamins and stuff... 

Looking at all that I've done a lot, but I still don't feel like I'm doing enough.


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## over40andpositive (Aug 7, 2014)

Thanks ladies for your replies!!!!

chooshoos it is nice to know that someone else is drinking once in a while....i need to get back to the once in a while though 

essiejean i made my first step to join a gym just like you jogged up the lane...it is never to late!! don't give up i keep saying to myself!!

kazzzee YES IT IS SOOOO HARD TO GET BACK ONE ONCE YOU HAVE TAKEN A MUCH NEEDED BREAK!!! at first i was telling my friends pretty much every other week i was on antibiotics so that is why i couldnt drink.  after it just seemed too weird to be on antibiotics all the time i just stopped going out.  which led me to feeling depressed and feeling alienated so i started to overeat all the wrong things which has led to weight gain and like you i am not too concerned about my weight (in terms of pregnancy, in terms of a bikini i could lose) but my gaining weight is a reminder of how i am eating the wrong things and not exercising.  i can no longer afford accpuncture because i have to save for the IVF treatments and travel....

anyway....thank you ladies....i signed up for the gym and had an amazing fresh juice today!!!! today is the day!!!


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

over40andpositive said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> As I am posting this in over 40's everyone here understands that time is ticking for us and we all want to do everything possible to make us mommies. I am 43 and had been following a pretty strict diet (by my standards) no alcohol, coffee, or sugar since August. I am finding it sooooo hard to maintain and have fallen off the wagon so to speak....drink 1-2 cups of coffee a day (my clinic says up to 3 is fine), drink about 4 beers a week (my clinic does not say this is ok) and eat sugar. I still eat healthy, take loads of vitamins etcccc Anyway I just wanted to hear from anyone who is struggling too and give me some advice or positive energy for a second wind of sticking to less caffeine and alcohol And I'd LOVE to hear from anyone who got pregnant without being 100% caffeine + alcohol free. The truth is I feel so guilty all the time and miserable if I do or don't and I know this can't be good for fertility either.  Both my partner and I have lost our lightness in life
> 
> ...


calm down. Nothing is in itself a disaster, the odd beer or whatever. Though, stop the beer. You'll feel better for knowing you tried everything. Not fun to feel miserable. Work out what is realistic. I ate a ton of chocolate. There was just no way i could have coped otherwise. I gave up alcohol and processed meat and things with artificial sweeteners in etc. But i ate sweets and choc. *shrug* Pick what you can actually deal with not some mystical hypothetical diet. Try just having treats at certain days or times if you are trying to lose weight but if it's just general health then work out a long term solution not just a quick fix. GOOD LUCK!


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## over40andpositive (Aug 7, 2014)

thanks gold bunny! "nothing is in inself a disaster!!!"


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## Karhog (Oct 27, 2012)

Personally I would stop being quite so tough on yourself. Yes, it's important to eat sensibly and remain active but I am a strong believer in everything in moderation....( unless there is a health reason why not) 
Prior to my actual transfers, I was eating normally, including the odd treat. I did reduce my caffeine but didn't cut it out as I found I got headaches. I found that I would half and half coffee with decaf and on other occasions just have decaf.
I also had the odd glass of wine right up to transfer, though now treat myself to non alcoholic ' cocktails' in a wine glass so that it feels special. ( currently 25 weeks pregnant)
Ivf and such treatments are stressful enough without putting any extra pressure on ourselves unnecessarily.
I did take preconception vitamins but otherwise lived as normally as possible.
Good luck, hope you have success soon


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

oh yes - ANYTHING tastes more of a treat in a wine glass, even milk. good tip karhog


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## MyreiE (May 5, 2014)

I love what Penny at Serum told me when I asked her about taking supplements, diet, eliminating coffee and wine...

In her lovely words "As for your habits concerning coffee and wine you should have them measured as you do but don't to go to far by depriving yourself the enjoyment of a glass of wine or a cup of coffee... you are preparing your self for a fertility treatment you don't punish yourself... 
And as I usually say being happy and relaxed is the best way to prepare yourself for a successful IVF treatment!!!"

So that's what I have been ascribing to thus far.. healthy diet, moderate activity ..cup of coffee a day (half reg/half decaf) prenatals, folic acid, Omega 3s, baby aspirin, and a glass of wine one or three times a week.  I have been most focused on not stressing out.. we will soon find out if any of it has made a difference as Penny just informed me that our donor's egg collection is TOMORROW and we will likely have ET in April following next month's hysteroscopy with implantation cuts.... 

this is slowly sinking in...........

Good luck to all,
-M


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## kazzzee (Jul 29, 2014)

I did eat whole box of gluten free cakes today that someone put on desk for me at work... So I feel guilty, but we can't punish ourselves, like you say. My problem is I can't do anything in moderation! It's all or nothing! And then I feel like I might as well eat all the chocolate in the house because I've already messed up for the day. 

So sometimes I'm good at controlling what I eat, and then it all goes to pot! 

And all because someone was being nice


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## over40andpositive (Aug 7, 2014)

thanks ladies!!!!  ALL OF YOUR INPUT HAS BEEN SUCH A HELP TO ME!!!!!  

I am no longer going to beat myself up for not maintaining the perfect fertility diet and excercise 100% of the time!!! I love what MyreiE posted "you are preparing yourself for fertilty treatment you don't punish yourself"


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