# any fellow teachers out there who can share experiences on handling work and IVF



## Kit A

Hey,
I'm new to this forum so bear with me. 
My husband and I are due to start IVF this month. I'm just waiting for my drugs to be delivered then it's all systems go. I'm excited yet nervous as I'm really unsure of what to expect. My main concern is work. I'm a teacher and my job is very stressful and I'm concerned about how I'm going to manage both. I've made a promise to put myself first as this is so important.
I really want to be successful but I'm also mindful that I should treat my first time as a trial run. 
I look forward to speaking to anyone who can share experiences xxx


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## Sidd

Hi Kit I am also a teacher 😊 and the thing I have most learnt through my whole journey in ttc is to put myself first and just be alittle selfish. 
It helped me to speak to my head teacher and to some of my closest colleagues, just so I had extra support. They have been fantastic and helpful

We had 3 unsuccessful rounds of IUI, so this time around with our 1st try of ivf I told myself that I would put myself 1st and just try to relax as much as I could at work...glad to say it has worked 😀
I know the idea of ivf can be so scary so uve just gota try and be kind to yourself and keep as positive and calm about it as possible
Good luck and hope to hear from you soon x


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## chaitealatte

Hi Hun, don't know how much I can help but I know how stressful both teaching and ivf are so happy to try. There are lots of teachers on here ( I cycled with about 5 here) so you'll hopefully get lots of advice / support.

I went through my first ivf last year while teaching a year 3/4 class. I told my head of dept and head-teacher and they were very sympathetic, so that was a huge deal. I know it's a risk telling people but I was worried about taking the time off without explaining why.

I didn't have to take too much time off - just 4 or 5 appointments and scans which were all early so I got to school by 11:30 most days (NHS cycle, they just gave me really good appointment times at the hospital). I found the 2 weeks of down regging a little bit hard going cos of the hot flushes / feeling unwell whilst I was teaching, but the kids didn't notice that I kept opening all the windows!  I did take 2 days off after implantation to put my feet up because I didn't want any stress to impact the chances of that happening. I just told them I wasn't well after the procedure. I would say that's the crucial time to avoid all stress. And then for the 2ww I did teach 'lazily' - like you say, you have to get your priorities right and two weeks of slightly lower energy lessons didn't hurt the kids  much! And I was prepared to go 'sick' at any point if I didn't feel well - I did actually get sent home sick one day when I lifted something heavy (a desk ) and freaked  out that I had ruined my chances and ended up crying my eyes out in the staff room! But as I  said, a sympathetic HOD made a huge difference to me.

Maybe if you can get your HOD / head on side you won't give any observations or extra stress during that time?

As you can see from my signature, it worked for me! I hope that encourages you that it can work for you too. X


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## Kit A

Thanks ladies for what you have written it is such a comfort to speak with people who  are going through the same experience or been through.
I've told my head and head of faculty and they have been really supportive. I've also given up my TLR for the time being to take off some of the pressure. Since being back after Christmas I've been very focused on not getting stressed and looking after myself. I've got a session of acupuncture booked in for tomorrow and I'm taking plenty of vitamins. I suppose now it's just about the waiting. EEEEK XXX


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## Roygbiv

Hi. I literally just quit. 
Not through my IVF though. 
I got my BFP. And it just got too much. 
Physically - I'd fall asleep in class! 
And emotionally - I just felt I was pushing myself too much. 
My last day working I was doing PE. Using balance beams and the horse. 
Straight after the lesson I started bleeding! 
Went to the hospital. All seemed ok. 
Was put on bedrest. 
I spoke to my head teacher. Bed rest was until a week before term ended. I just said I wouldn't be coming back. 
He was very understanding. 
Now, I regret it. It was a silly way to leave. 
But, at the time, for my sanity I had to. 
Through IVF I was ok. Did half days when I needed to go in for scans. Had 3 days off, transfer and 2 following days. 
You will just need to speak to your head. 
While it's horrid thinking they know, and if it doesn't work they'll know. 
It's necessary to have their support. Mine, made obit easy for me.


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## Dory10

Hi 

I'm a EYFS teacher with a mixed R/Y1 class this year and I'm EYFS coordinator and senior teacher across the school (Primary).

I managed to get some of my initial appointments during the 6 weeks and started down regging at the end of them.  I managed to get scans in the mornings so could get back to school for the afternoon.  I had 2 days off for EC, mainly due to the sedation and my doctor signed me off for the 2 ww.  Which personally I felt I needed due to my responsibilities within school.  As soon as I returned to work I told my Head and staff that I was pregnant just so they were aware and didn't expect me to put myself at risk, the children and parents were not aware.

I got a BFP but sadly my pregnancy ended in mmc just before Christmas, I only found out at the 12 week scan.  I'm not yet back at work because I don't feel emotionally ready and as soon as I'm back it will be straight in at the deep end and all the stress that goes with it.  I love my job but my health and   my future family (please) are more important.  I want to start another cycle this year I need to get myself in the best place physically and mentally so we can hopefully realise our dreams.

Life is too short to wonder what if, although my mmc was the most devastating thing at least I know there was nothing more I could have done and for me personally that has been the key to moving on.

Don't be afraid to take time off when you need it, there's always a reason not to take it (parents eves, trips, plays, sports days, SATS, phonic tests etc etc)  But please put yourself first, our bodies don't run to school timetables!

Take Care and I wish you luck  

Dory
xxx


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## silkie

I'm a teacher also - and trying to work out when is the best time to start - teacher and SLT so more pressure - its all a game of timing = thinking that easter maybe best - need to get A into G and get app booked - thinking of using Dogus - where are you all going for your treatment - this is the hardest decission of all i think


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## Kit A

Our health is def the priority here ladies. I keep telling myself that work needs to come second. I teach English in a secondary school so it's always so full on.

Dory - thank you for the advice it's so good to hear advice and speak with someone who has gone through the same experience. I do wish you all the very best for the next step in your journey xxx

Silkie - I'm currently being treated at Guys in London and so far they have been good but I am only at the beginning however I had a good feel from my very first visit.

Best of luck xxx


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## yoga31

Hi fellow teachers!

Be open and honest with your school. Mine were supportive from the word go - appointments, sickness etc. I had IVF over he summer hols (pros and cons of that!) got my BFP  just as the new term started - bad morning sickness - school knew the deal so again they were understanding. I have just moved (after xmas) from a stressful Yr6 class with top sets (level 6 papers etc) to a MUCH calmer yr 4 class - which I am enjoying a lot more. 

Good Luck!  

Make sure you sit down lots.


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## Wraakgodin

I know this won't be much use to you at the moment, but there is a thread for teachers having had/starting treatment - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=250979.0 but it is in our Chit Chat section, and you need 60 posts before you have access to it, but it is so easy to get into FF, it won´t take you too long to build up that many posts! 

Sue


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## becky70

I'm a teacher who has had IVF - sadly unsuccessful but nothing to do with work. I told my head (and only her initially but have shared with others later). She was very supportive. I booked my scans as early as possible - meant I sometimes arrived slightly late but I arranged for support staff to cover those few minutes. 
I had two weeks off after EC first time round but less with subsequent treatment - as the first one failed I concluded that time off didn't necessarily help. Do what feels right for you though - it's important that you feel you've done everything you can.
Wishing you lots of luck with your cycle
Becky x


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## Sidd

Hope you all have a good week at school 😀 x


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## yoga31

Just had the OFSTED phone call!!!

4 inspectors arrive tomorrow! Oh ****.


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## yoga31

I didn't type 'oh poop' - it was autocorrected from something stronger! Lol


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## Dory10

Oh **** (expletive) Yoga - you have my sympathies.  I'm predicting we'll have them snooping around soon too


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## yoga31

Thanks Dory!

How is everyone on this thread doing... juggling the joys of teaching and IVF?


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## Dory10

I'm hoping to start round 2 in the next few months - just dreading having to ask for more time off as I have a feeling it wont go down well.  I had some time off last time for 2ww and some time during early pregnancy and then had to go off again after my miscarriage.


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## yoga31

You've had a difficult time its surely understandable to your school that you need to take some time off? EYFS is full on!! 

Wishing you the best of luck for treatment   xxxxx Which clinic are you at?


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## SweetLeeBee

Hi fellow Teachers

Good luck Yoga31 for the big O

I'm due for EC on Friday. I'm hoping Ill be back at school on Monday and then I'm not sure how long I'll need off after ET?

I've been trying to keep stress free at school but it's virtually impossible in our jobs....


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## Dory10

Thank you Yoga

I'm at Care in Nottingham, where abouts were you?

I think they sort of understand but don't like anything that causes any problems at school, they like things to run smoothly which isn't always the case when a staff member is off.  One of the supply teachers covering my last absence wasn't up to much but equally some things weren't insisted on either so hadn't been kept on top of, I then had to pick up the pieces.  

Are you going to get observed much over the next couple of days?

Dory
xxx


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## Kit A

Feeling the OFSTED pain. We've had the threat of it but no show yet. Our job is stressful enough as it is without these visits. I've tried really hard this year to not get stressed as my main focus has to be the IVF. I had my egg collection on Monday and I'm back to work tomorrow. The couple of days off afterwards have def helped. I'm back to the hospital on Saturday for my egg transfer and I'm assuming I'll be back to school on Monday. I'm kind of hoping I'll be kept busy at school for the next couple of weeks whilst waiting to do my pregnancy test. 
Good luck to you all xxx


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## Sidd

Hello ladies I hope you are all keeping well x


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## SweetLeeBee

Kit A we are quite close then in our treatment. How are you feeling after EC? I'm a little nervous about it all. 

Hi Sidd how are you feeling?

Good luck Yogo31 with today.


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## Kit A

Hi Sweetleebee, I'm feeling exactly the same as you. I have this constant butterfly feeling in my stomach as I know there is nothing more I can do now except hope. One minute I'm positive then I'm an emotional wreck. The next couple of weeks will be hard for us but it's important to remain positive. I've got some acupuncture booked in and I've been told to take baby aspirin and eat lots of pineapple - I'll give anything a go


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## SweetLeeBee

Hi Kit A

I also have acupuncture booked in for Saturday. I'm dreading the egg collection tomorrow and keep worrying about what if there are no eggs or that are really bad quality just about every senario that can go through my head!!! I also have no idea when ET will be. The only person who knows at school is my head and she has been wonderful. I told her today I wouldn't know the ET until it almost happens and she said not to worry just to let her know. 
Good luck for you ET on Saturday.


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## Kit A

Stay positive sweetleebee!! I was nervous too but they were great at Guys. I'm more nervous about the ET as I keep worrying about how my eggs are.
I told my Head too and a couple of others at work which has really helped as everyone has been really supportive xxx


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## yoga31

Hope all goes smoothly tomorrow SweetLee  

Thanks for your good luck! I was watched for numeracy (second half) Ugh! Nearly over....


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## Kit A

Hang in there Yoga31 and well done for your observation xxx


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## SweetLeeBee

Thank you yoga31. Well done on today at least you can relax over the weekend now. 

Kit A have they told you how your eggs are getting on?


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## Kit A

No I haven't heard anything since the day after my EC. They told me just to come in on Saturday for my egg transfer. I'm presuming all is ok or they would have had me in earlier. I just really hope they are doing ok xxx


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## SweetLeeBee

I'm sure they are all doing great. You would have heard if they weren't


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## Kit A

Good luck for tomorrow xxx


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## Kit A

Egg transfer complete!!
5 made it but not all of them were ready so they picked the best one. There was the possibility of two but they said the second was not of any quality yet so advised against it. They plan on freezing the rest which is good as if it doesn't work they have others.
Feeling very positive but I'm sure I'll be up and down over the next couple of weeks!!
Eeek!!
Hope you are all doing ok xxx


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## SweetLeeBee

congratulations Kit A on your ET today.

I've a tough day. EC didn't go as well as planned and only ended up with 3 eggs of which only two have fertilised so feeling very down today. ET is set for Monday I just hope they make it to then.

X


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## Kit A

Remember you only need one - sending you lots of hope and positivity xxx


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## yoga31

Good luck for your 2 ww ladies   xx


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## Dory10

How did the dreaded O go Yoga?

Dory
xxx


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## Ljp64

Hi, 
I'm a teacher too, teaching Year 3. I  told my head as soon as we decided to go for IVF and she was very supportive. I also contacted the union to double check entitlement to time off just in case. I went through the treatment diary with my head and we talked about the amount of time I might need off so we could plan cover. As it is it looks like I will go through EC and ET in the Easter hols anyway. As for appointments I managed to get them either before 8 or at the end of the day.  The only tricky thing has been that the drugs had to be delivered to the school office and they usually open post and parcels for security. I spoke to the head who will be on guard on the day it's delivered. So it's all been okay so far. I'm not sure how good a teacher I'll be during the 2ww though!
Good luck with your treatment.


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## Dory10

Hi Ljp64

Just out of interest what did they say regarding time off for treatment?  I tried to get early scans last time but as the clinic is so far from school I still ended up having to have most of the morning off.  Your Head sounds amazing!

Good Luck with the next few weeks.

Dory
xxx


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## Ljp64

Hi Dory,
My head was fine about time off for treatment but did say she might have to review if I had more than one cycle. As it is I'm just shading one appointment during the school day and I have a student so he can cover me. My head has been great, you're right. According to the union guidelines you are entitled to time off for treatment and it should not go on your sickness record but I would not have liked to argue if she'd said no. I did consider saying id have scan in my PPA time if it got difficult which I know we shouldn't do but I thought that might be a compromise. 
Good luck with your treatment,
Lisa x


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## queenie81

Hi I am a secondary English teacher and after my.op I am due to start IVF. In Sept I gave up all.responsibilities as head of year, senior teacher etc and was the best decision I made. My head knows as does my head of dept and they are very supportive. 

So hi and nice to meet you all!!!! xxx


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## yoga31

I didn't realise there were union guidelines Ljp - probably should have checked that out.

OFSTED wasn't great Require Improvement as a school   Lots of disappointed people.

Friday is my last day!! I don't know how some teachers can work to like 36 weeks!

Hope everyone managed to have a sit down at work today


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## Dory10

Yoga - Not surprised there are disappointed faces, it's so stressful and often doesn't see a true picture!  Bet you're glad it won't affect you too much.  As for the sit down, today was one of those days where it didn't happen til about 8pm  

Ljp - That's my problem this will be my second cycle, my first was in September and as I suffered a miscarriage I had some time off for that too.  I don't think anyone will be as understanding this time around but as we are unable to have annual leave other than holidays I'm not sure what else I can do.  I'd been thinking about asking if all my PPA can be pooled so that I can take time off for scans and appointments and class it as PPA then not have any for a few weeks or however long it takes.  I might get in touch with my union to get some advice too , it's good to know they think we should be able to have time off.

Take Care all

Dory
xxx


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## missy12

A will possibly be starting ivf later in the year depending upon my partners second seem test results next month as the last one was really poor. I am support staff in a school and if it comes to ivf I am already thinking of getting signed off sick for it all. Don't think I can deal with being in school when it is all happening. I broke down cryin in school today due to the stress of it all after goin to see the consultant yday and talkin about ivf. Nobody in school knows about it tho so had to make up excuses about why I was crying! 
I would want to give it the best chance possible of working if it happens and I think my being at work would help instead of havin to rush off to appointments all the time. 
What thoughts does everybody else have? 
Sorry for interrupting ur thread! X


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## missy12

Sorry auto correct has gone crazy on my last post. Hope u can work out what I mean x


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## Dory10

Hi Missy

I was in school and just had a few hours off for scans etc then 2 days for EC and had the full 2ww off.  When I was injecting I found I was better in work as it kept me busy but do what's right for you.

Good Luck  

Dory
xxx


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## yoga31

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage Dory - I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must have been.  Taking time off is difficult.  I tend to feel guity about every appointment, sick day etc. But then you have to put yourself first. Good luck for you second cycle.
I try to sit down as much as possible although it is hard - my chair is on wheels and I roller from my desk to the board and back again! 

Hi missy - I had my treatment in the summer holidays which had its pros and cons - I was certainly less stressed not being at work - but I didn't have anything to take my mind of it - it was IVF IVF IVF all summer long. Hope you are feeling better this evening. 

Its hard when you feel emothional at work - I try to quickly detatch, snap out of it or think about something else but its really tough especially when you have 30 kids looking at you!!


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## missy12

Yes u r right. School is like being in stage sometimes there is nowhere at all to hide. When in an office at least u can sit behind r desk n hide.


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## yoga31

Ladies on your 2ww - how are you feeling??


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## SweetLeeBee

Yoga31- you must be so happy it's your last day on Friday...! I'm sorry about ofsted. We had ofsted last year July and it was the worst ofsted I've ever been through and I've been through 5 now. The new framework is a nightmare and I do believe it can come down to who you have in your school.

I'm really struggling with the 2WW I know it sounds really stupid but I can't get my head around how the embryo is actually in me, what if it came out when they were pulling everything out, what if it wasn't actually there to begin with...! Dumb I know but I over analyse everything....


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## Louisej29

Teaching and doing ivf is a nightmare combination

As an ivf veteran (5 cycles!) I have had problems with this.  Initially work were great but by cycle 5  (only had 2in term time!) and having had time off both for a  high risk pregnancy and miscarriages they are now far from great!  I've had the union involved and even had to have a meeting with the governors!  - ivf is a VERY grey area as far as schools goes!  I've now taken to a mixture of calling in sick, taking unpaid leave and having docs notes with Gynae issues.  There is nothing they can do about it although they can make your life very uncomfortable. 

The nut will come in and talk to yor Sch if they refuse unpaid leave as this is seen as discrimination.  Schools are unlikely to refuse unpaid leave. 

Also, during the 2ww you are legally covered and have the same rights as a pregnant person does.  I've Looked into all the legalities and have lots of info if anyone needs! 

Good luck everyone !!

Xx


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## Mogster

Hi everyone,
So I'm a teacher and as you can see below I'm also experienced in IVF/ICSI!!!! I have never told my head as she is not very understanding at all. She may have guessed but she is so self absorbed so she may not have. She knows I have gynae issues and have had cysts removed but I've never told her anything else. A couple of staff members know bits and pieces. 
I tend to have treatment leading up to a holiday and try and have my appointments evenings or early in the morning. Summer holidays also get eaten up with treatment. Haven't had a real holiday for years now. I have had the odd few days off sick but most of the time I go to work even on test day as I find it a big distraction. Mind you with the amount of BFN I've had my emotions are very contained!!!
I had OFSTED during one of my full cycles. It was the new framework so no notice and although we got outstanding the stress it put me under I'm convinced had a negative impact on treatment. 
Although it ruins your holidays I recommend treatment during them or leading up to so EC is during them. I found it a whole lot easier than telling lies and phoning in sick etc.
Saying all that we are seriously considering adoption now anyway! A new set of hurdles with an awful boss!

Take care everyone and stay strong x


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## Dory10

Hi Louise - Hadn't realized you were a fellow teacher, how are you doing?  I may take you up on some of that info, can't seem to get any answers from our LA website or extranet service.  

Mogster - I'm going to try and get my cycle around holidays but it just depends on when day 21 is, hoping for some Saturday scans too.

   Positive vibes to all    

Dory
xxx


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## shelleysugar

Hello all - I just wanted to give the other side of the coin when it comes to IVF and teaching.  I've had an amazing headteacher who has been very supportive.  I've had 3 cycles of unmedicated IUI, 1 cycle of IVF resulting in a BFN, a 2nd cycle of IVF resulting in a BFP followed by a miscarriage in week 13 and  a 3rd cycle of IVF with ICSI that resulted in my current pregnancy (now 23 weeks).  I've had to have much time out of school, although I've tried to keep it to a minimum.  Like some of the other ladies, I've tried to use holidays to have appointments and treatments but it is tricky to time things in well, as my AF would be late and throw everything out of kilter.  I know I've been very lucky to have a supportive headteacher - he actually cried tears of joy when we got our first BFP and was really upset when we had the miscarriage.  I have been honest and up front with him from the beginning.  I've also been working at my school for 10 years so I have established myself and showed that I'm willing to put in the work and the hours so I guess that helps.

Mogster - well done on have an OFSTED during treatment - that must have been a nightmare.  I hope you come up with a plan of action soon and if you decide to go ahead with adoption then best of luck - I hope your nightmare boss doesn't make it more difficult for you.

Good luck to everyone having treatment, on the 2WW or in the early days of pregnancy  

Shelleysugar x


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## Kit A

I'm on my 2ww and we've had OFSTED in this week!!
Can't believe the timing. Remarkably I have managed to stay pretty relaxed as I refuse to let OFSTED ruin any chances..
Thankfully my school have been good but I am only on first round.
As always sending you all positive vibes and hope xxx


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## Dory10

Shelly - Congratulations!  It gives me hope when I see that it can work out.  You're Head sounds fantastic.  I've been at my current school 9 years and have never had longer than a day or two off and some years had no time off at all (it all gets reported each year so I get a print out)!  I've put so much into my school and know it causes strains when I've been off but this is my dream.


Dory
xxx


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## shelleysugar

Thanks Dory - I'm so sorry to read about your mc in your signature - I sympathise entirely having been there myself.  I hope I can offer light at the end of the tunnel and you will achieve your dream.  The fact that you were pregnant before shows that you CAN get pregnant and next time it will be your turn.  Sending you lots of   

Kit A - I can't believe that you've had to deal with OFSTED during your 2WW, as if that's not hard enough on its own - I hope it all went well with OFSTED but most importantly you get success at the end of your 2WW  

Shelleysugar xxx


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## Kit A

Thanks Shelley!!
Good luck to you all whatever step of the journey you are on xxx


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## fingers crossed x

Hi All,

I am a secondary school teacher and just waiting to start first round of IVF

I have told my head and HOD and debating if i should give up my TLR but not sure if this would effect my mat pay? also how often are scans needed when DR? trying to not get the kids asking too many questions!! or the staff to be honest!! 

I am really hoping tx can be during the summer now but depends when we get our appt for PIE evening

xx


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## shelleysugar

Cazharris - when DR I had a baseline scan and then left to DR for a couple of weeks before another scan but once you start stimming they often want to see you more and monitor you.  Depending on how close you work to your clinic and how flexible they are on appointments will make a difference to the impact on work.  For me, the clinic was about 2 hours from the clinic, so not so easy! It is less stressful if you can catch the summer holidays - hope you do!

Good luck
Shelleysugar


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## armi

I have been both a teacher having Treatment, and also a HT with staff having treatment. I personally felt well enough to work during 2wW, and tbh, I don't believe it makes any difference. I was however always happy to sign off my Ivffers for whatever they wanted and needed. (( they were the non shirkers... Not sure how I would have been with the shirkers))

Obviously full day off no questions for various days of treatment.

my best of my advice is consider your situation carefully. If you have 3 treatments a year for 5 years the support you get may well diminish. 

If you have the funds for a one off treatment, then do whatever you can so you have no what ifs!,,,


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## Wraakgodin

Hi ladies!

Hope everyone is ok and the newbies are finding their way around the site.  

Normally with the intros section we try to discourage chat threads from starting, once a moderator has left the relevant links we like to encourage you to pop into other sections of FF.  But in this instance I see a lot of teachers, especially those new to the site getting a lot of help from this thread, so I will be moving this thread to the "Coping with the Infertility" section so you can carry on chatting!!

           to all!

Sue


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## Amily

I am a teacher too (head of small dept) and fully sympathise with what you are all saying. I am lucky enough to have two children through IVF and the school did not know either time. I cannot lie - it was stressful. I just couldn't bear everyone knowing my business! Organising all the appts was hard. I managed to get transfers on a Fri or Sat so I could rest afterwards and, as much as possible, I tried to aim for school holidays. Things like charity day (where physical work was involved) were tricky and, as I also teach exercise, a 'bad back' had to be given as an excuse a few times!


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## Amily

I forgot to say...if I can help anyone with advice, suggestions etc I am very happy to do so! I am so grateful to have my children and it was a long, hard road to have them. Happy to help anyone else experiencing IVF and going through all the stress I remember all too well!


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## Snave78

Might be going a bit off the mark here but as a teacher my biggest bug bear is spoilt children! If your gonna have kids people please discipline them, don't let them get away with murder then blame the school! As someone who would LOVE kids i think poor home discipline should be a form of neglect! They ma be precious but they also need boundaries! 

Rant over,
Sorry!


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## Snave78

Oh and had my full IVF cycle in summer, had FET during term time (HT very understanding) and didnt tell anyone at work, that was tough esp. when we had an outbreak of chicken pox and i was sent home!


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