# Considering surrogacy



## SallyPow (Nov 10, 2012)

Hi

We have just had our 8th failed IVF,  we have conceived twice but they have been very short lived as we have miscarried at 5 - 6 weeks.  I have a J-Pouch due to having UC when I was younger and have an overactive thyroid and raised thyroid peroxidase antibodies.  We produce good embryos but they don't seem to implant or if they do we miscarry and are wondering if its my immune system rejecting the embryos.

Our last cycle failed even after trying intralipid and blood thinners and we are wondering if there is any point continuing or if we should look at surrogacy as an option.

Has anybody else had failed IVF's immune issues or unexplained and considered surrogacy.

Thanks very much, Sal & Mart xxx


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## Michelle32 (Jan 11, 2011)

Hello ladies

I am just on my dinner so a quick one I have had 3 Ivf 1 fet as you can see from my signature we have our angel in heaven and I miscarried with my fet I too had ulcerative colitis and had my late colon removed and from that I now have arthiritis so I think my is immunes we do have good quality embryos but we don't get our dream at the end of it:-( x
My cousin has offered to be a host surragut which We are extremely gratefully for it is a lot to take in as we had brefly mentioned to each other it's a lot to take in and I think alot of questioned to be asked but before any of that can happen I think I may need an op to have my only Fallopian tube removed along with two large cycts we go to c the consultant in December so hope to ask him a little. Where are you ladies from and where would you go for treatment I don't know where in the northeast does it or even if there is anywhere in the north 
Sorry it's a bit rushed wl pop back on later bye for now xxx


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## KittyB (May 1, 2006)

Hi Sally, sorry to hear your story. 


We've also had repeated failed IUI/IVF/DEIVF, and have immune issues - after 7 years and 4 miscarriages (with the loss of 5 babies), we are 'done'. We are looking into surrogacy, but because we're based in the Netherlands, we need to find out if we are domiciled in the UK. If not, then I think we will find it difficult, if not impossible, to use surrogacy, and I think adoption will also be a problem due to our ages. I have purposely not looked closely into surrogacy yet, as I don't want to get my hopes up, only to find out that the laws prevent us from using a surrogate.


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## SallyPow (Nov 10, 2012)

Hi tdale - thanks for your reply, it's nice to know you are considering surrogacy too, I have not had any immune tests done although I do know I have raised thyroid peroxidase levels.  My clinic (Exeter) don't do the immune testing but kind of treat emperically and have started using Intralipid and have had good success with it, on our first attempt with Intralipid we did get pregnant but unfortunately miscarried, they are now able to offer intralipid after conceiving in the hope that it will help prolong the pregnancy but we haven't conceived since to try it.  Our last cycle we did have clexane and asprin too but unfortunately it didn't work.  Have you joined any surrogacy sites, we have joined Surrogacy UK who have been brilliant for getting information.

H Michelle32 - thanks for your reply, it's interesting that you had colitis and your colon removed (do you now have a J-Pouch or a permanent ileostomy).  It does seem to be that if you have one autoimmune disease you end up with several.  We live in Cornwall and I believe Plymouth offer a surrogacy programme although they don't help find a surrogate for your.  I've just joined Surrogacy UK which have some wonderful people to help guide you through the process and answer any questions, they also have a list of clinics who offer surrogacy.

Hi KittyB - I'm not sure what the laws are in the Netherlands but here they seem to be that the although it is ilegal to advertise to be a surrogate or are looking for one it is legal to use a surrogate as long as the only payment is for expenses.  The law does protect the surrogate more so than the parents and I believe if a surrogate did want to keep the baby even if they weren't biologically related they could.  I don't believe a surrogate would do this though as the reason why they wish to be a surrogate is to help a couple have their dream of becoming parents when they are unable to carry themselves.

Thanks, Sal & Mart


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## olinaiti (Aug 23, 2011)

Hi! We finally have a 7 m old daughter born through gestational surrogacy in the US . I had 10 unexplained misscarriages . 3 of them while on prednisolone and aspirin . I didn't test high for the known NKC ( was seeing a specialist ) and all the other tests came back normal too but immune problems were suspected .Misscarried always early on between 4-7 w once 9 w. We have an almost 8 y son that I was able to carry. I unfortunately lost my health due to the steroids so couldn't now anymore carry a pregnancy even if it suddenly would work out. After misscarriage number 10 and being very unwell on the steroids I felt I had truly had enough and couldn't go on anymore. Then read about adoption and surrogacy . We didn't do IVF because I easily conceived every time , just couldn't keep it. We signed up with the second US surrogacy agency we talked to in Jan 2010 so to my daughter's birth it took two cycles ( I did do IVF to have her , it's our egg and sperm )and a little over 2 y. Now we are due to go to court for the parental order and hopefully it'll be all over early next year before our baby turns 1y. It was all worth it! Good luck with what ever you decide to do   !


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## olinaiti (Aug 23, 2011)

...also with both cycles we only got a few eggs that in the end turned into 2 good quality embryos ( which we transfered both each time )and it still worked out for us on the second try . The first time our surrogate had a misscarriage / suspected ectopic at 5 w. I seem to remember that we were given about 15 % chance of success per cycle due to my low hormone levels / low egg count . I' m so glad I wasn't discouraged from trying it out since it did work out  just fine  !


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## Liesje82 (Nov 15, 2012)

Hi Ladies,

we are looking forward to our first surrogacy cycle in january 2013. In the past 1,5/2 years we had 10 IVF transfers (with 14 perfect looking embryo's) but none took. We did 2 fresh transfers and had many FET's... I really hope that surrogacy is THE answer to us.

My sister in law Will be our surrogate, very very greatful to her. We live in The Netherlands so commercial Surrogacy is not allowed. 

If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Good luck!

Liesje


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

Heya Sally

Yes, yes, yes and yes - you are definitely not alone *hug*

I'm in the process now of beginning to look into surrogacy.  It's going to take some time to get over never being able to carry my own child but I do have hope that I can one day become a mother through surrogacy.  I'm just letting myself recover after some very hard times over the last couple of years before moving forward as I think it's really important to sort the emotional side of things out first - it's not easy.  There's a lot of grieving to do before I can come out the other side.  I'm getting there slowly but surely but I think it will be at least another 6 months before I can think about looking for a surrogate for me.  

Best of luck with your journey - I know how hard it is.

xxx


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## duffy7 (Apr 3, 2011)

think I may be joining you girls......ive just had my 8th pregnancy loss, some of which were on immune treatment.

I can't see any way forward without surrogacy,  (my body just doesnt seem capable)  and i can't accept not being a mummy......so it may be our way forward.

My SIL has mentioned being a surrogate with our embryo but it was a "passing" comment so we are going to have to have a big chat to see if it is a "serious" offer or whether we will have to try to find a way to finance a surrogate.

Excited but scared xxx


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## aseagrim (Oct 2, 2011)

Hello we are at the start as well. Deciding whether to adopt or find a surrogate. 

How do you go about finding a surrogate in the uk? We would need eggs unless the surrogate is willing to se their own.

We dont have any family members we can ask.


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## claire1983 (Jul 16, 2012)

Hi ladies, I'm also embarking on the surrogacy journey in 2013  . After 5 failed ICSI cycles I'm hoping surrogacy will be the answer?! I have high NK cells and DH and I have 100% DQ alpha match so even with intralipids the chances of success are quite low. Thankfully my wonderful auntie has offered to be a gestational surrogate   I'm not pretending its what Ive always dreamed of but I'm so thankful to her for throwing us a life line we just want to get started! We will be having treatment at Care Manchester, dont know if anyone else is?


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## Michelle32 (Jan 11, 2011)

Hello ladies

Can anyone tell me if you know how much it will be for surrogacy through Ivf I asked my clinic and my consultant was more interested in finding out wether we should try again before considering surrogacy and not sure that our clinic actually does the treatment for surrogacy anyway. Does anyone know where in the northeast who will do surrogacy??

I'm sorry I have no personnels I'm not to good with my arthritis and I am very tired at the moment.

I hope you have all been able to enjoy the festive season and I hope 2013 is the year for us xxxxx


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## vickym1984 (Jan 29, 2009)

Just passing through

aseagrim-surrogacy uk and COTS are good places to start xx

Michelle-can be a piece of string question really, but again surrogacy uk and COTS can help, also the law firm FF have on here (natalie gamble?) may be able to advise on cost estimates xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Michelle32 said:


> Hello ladies
> 
> Can anyone tell me if you know how much it will be for surrogacy through Ivf I asked my clinic and my consultant was more interested in finding out wether we should try again before considering surrogacy and not sure that our clinic actually does the treatment for surrogacy anyway. Does anyone know where in the northeast who will do surrogacy??
> 
> ...


Hi not all clinics in the UK are licensed for surrogacy so hence why yours may not know. When I looked into it in London at ARGC the costs were an IVF cycle for surrogate, then DR and monitoring for you plus £1K extra for it being a surrogacy case- remember your surrogate will need all her bloods, baseline scans like you did when setting out on first IVF cycle etc doing- and then counselling reports for surrogate and her partner, you and yours to go to the ethics panel at the clinic to decide if they are able to take your case on. As for expenses for the surrogate these can vary and be up to £15K (any additional costs she would incur by being pregannt, loss of earnings, mat clothes, childcare, cleaning, vitamins good foods, travel to appointments,life insurance for her, often a family holiday for her family after the birth to recover) if you use COTS or surrogacy UK fees if using them.

Good Luck I was going down the surrogacy which was proving v difficult for various reasons, and then I thought I'd have an opinion with Peny in Serum (she will give you free advice/phone call) and I am going to do one final DE cycle with her this year, and have had surgery on my uterus in Oct.

x


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi


Do take care over payments to your surrogate.  There is no set allowable amount in law and £15k could be deemed to exceed 'reasonable pregnancy related expenses" (as happened in one published case) as could paying for a holiday for your surrogate.  The English court will look at payments carefully given the legal restrictions which restrict commercial surrogacy in the UK and if there's a commercial element it can really complicate the legal process and lead to your parental order application being transferred up to a higher court (and higher legal costs if you need extra legal help).


Increasing numbers of UK clinics also want IP's and surrogates to obtain legal advice in advance of treatment to ensure all the legal issues are covered. If you want any further information do get in touch.


All the best


Louisa


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## Lisa88 (Aug 16, 2012)

Hello, I am now going the surrocacy route as my wonderful sister has offered to be a gestational surrogate. I can highly recommend Natalie Gamble for all legal advice. The sticking point at the moment is that my IVF hospital wants my sister and I to have a surrocacy agreement as part of their checklist. She and I have had counselling and have covered all the issues. We do not feel the need to go to a surrocacy agency and the charge of £800 to join seems excessive on top of all the other treatment costs given I already have a surrogate.
None of the surrocacy agency's will provide us with a blank agreement form to work through. My hospital is fine for us not to go through an agency they just would like some 'formal' peace of mind that we have covered all eventualities. Hence it is a cheeky ask but does anyone have a blank form that I could borrow. Please feel free to PM me if easier. Also if I can answer any questions for those at the very early stages of debating surrocacy please do ask.
Many thanks
Lisa


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