# Other people's good news - when does it stop hitting so hard



## jennybob (Jan 22, 2007)

My little boy is now 2.5, and it is just a little star.  We've been trying for another for about a year now, with no luck.  Just when I think I'm handling the heartache OK and accepting things, yet another one of my mummy friends announces that they are pg with another one, and everytime that happens, I just want to go and hide and cry my eyes out.  Does it ever get better, can I ever trust myself to be a stable person again, or do I have to wait until we have finally given up the dream of another child?


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Jenny,

In all honestly, I don't think that it will ever stop hurting.  I have a son who is 18 months and we are TTC No.2 for 6 months so far.  We are having FET next month and then if that fails then we will have one more fresh cycle of IVF and that will have to be it.  Unfortunately we will have to stop for financial reasons.  However I know that the longing for another child will never ever go away.  I will always hope for a miracle each month and then feel the dissapointment when AF shows.  Most of my friends have older children now, but I have lots of younger cousins, so at some point they will start having children and I know that I will just have to try and deal with it.

I know I am so lucky to have my boy and he is my world, but it breaks my heart that he may be a only child.        

I think that the way you feel is normal and I know that a lot of women on here feel the same as you.

I wish I could say something that could help to make you feel better, but I know that the only thing that would do this is another child.

I hope that your dreams come true.

Stacey
x


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## louloumay (Oct 25, 2010)

Hi Jenny,

I just wanted to add my four penneth, I do think it gets a little easier as time passes. My LO is 4 and a half, we've been trying for number 2 for a little over a year too. During which time my sis has gotten pg with her number 2 (_that_ was hard). Her baby is due about now. I don't seem to have nearly such a problem with new babies, it's babybumps that make me so jealous.

Anyway, as time has gone on I have begun to accept it's probably not going to happen, I'm 42 and this next tx is deffo our last. so I have really had to face the reality of it. I have begun to appreciate how much time I can give my LO as she is my one and only. I have also realised how tiring kids are and I'm not even sure how well I could cope with a new baby. I have bought a book by Susan Newman called 'parenting an only child' which has been really helpful. I think all the time the _possibility_ of another child is there it is agonising, but once you _have_ to deal with it you do somehow reconcile it.

The pain, as you say, does come in waves, and as Stacey says it may always be there in the background, but the good times get longer and longer. All that said, you never know, you might get your wish  , I soooooooo hope you do, but if you don't you will be ok. It will take time but you'll get there, I'm sure 

God, I hope that all doesn't sound as patronising a I think it does!

Lots of love xx


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## JillJill (Jul 17, 2007)

Hi jennybob

I came on here because I know exactly how you feeling and was hoping that someone had given you a miracle cure in their reply.

My little boy was 2 last month and was the result of 6ICSI tx so I should(and do) feel blessed because I know there are still people out there desperate to have what we got.

I feel people think I am ungrateful and selfish for wanting another baby after everything but I think it is natural to want children.

My family and close friends are still at stage of phoning to tell me their pg as they don't want to upset me which is silly as I have never been upset at their pg's just jealous. 

My younger cousin just had a baby and I am happy for her and enjoying seeing the pics on ** but can't bring myself to visit yet as know it will make the urge for another baby worse(if that is possible).

Take care honey.
Lets just hope our kids give us lots of grandchildren to snuggle and kiss.
xxxxxxxxxxx


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