# Crazy Idea?



## BabyWanted (Jun 22, 2011)

Hi Ladies,
Now I tend to get very carried away with myself and live in a dream world most of the time. I'm currently TTC and I'm due to start chlomiphine in September so that my partner and I can hopefully get pregnant.

I'm 23 and healthy, don't smoke and don't drink, I do however have PCOS, hence our issues in conceiving.

My cousin who also has PCOS and a few other factors which effect her being able to have a baby, her partner has also had a vasectomy reversed (has 2 children from previous marriage) and they're not entitled to IVF on the NHS because of this. They've now had two failed IVF attempts which they've paid for, and she wants a baby so badly and it saddens me to think that I might get there first, and I don't want to hurt her or upset her at all. I know she would never say or show anything like that and she'd be happy for us, but I'd feel so awful.

Something I've been thinking about for a long time (before i was told i have PCOS) and that by the time I had one child of my own, I would ask her if she would like me to be a surrogate for her. I know that because I have PCOS too I'm not the best candidate in the world to be a surrogate for her, but I'm her cousin by blood and love her with all my heart, i want her to have a little family so much she's such a great auntie to her nieces and nephew and would be a fabulous mother.

Do you think it's wrong of me to make this suggestion to her? I know if I mentioned it to my partner he'd just think it was me living in my little world again but she deserves it so much and she's always been there for me, so if i can help i would love to.

Does this sound reasonable or do you think I should just forget the whole idea?

Thanks ladies x


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## leo (Mar 7, 2005)

Hi it sounds really lovely for you to want to help your cousin, but you are TTC yourself at the moment, and are needing some drugs for this. I would wait and see if you can get pregnant first. 

Good luck to you xxx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

It's a lovely idea but I would have your family first - you're not proven as they say, so you may have issues that you don't know about.  I would discuss it at length with your husband first. I had a friend who offered to be a surrogate for my 9th cycle ( she has 3 children)  and then pulled out when we had appts  arranged. So do think it all through first before getting any hopes up. It's a lovely thought and gesture and your friend is lucky to have your support and friendship
L x


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hello, it's a lovely idea but I agree with the others, you need to have your own family first and see that you can easily get pregnant; you wouldn't want to help and then discvover that you can't have kids yourself, good luck x


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Its such a lovely thing for you to think of, BUT please have your own family first as if anything were to go wrong with a surrogate pregnancy I am sure you and she would both be devastated if it affected your chances of having your own family.

My sis has PCOS as do several friends - it took them all about 3 years to conceive the first time and then they all fell pregnant quickly with their second. So I wish you loads of luck.

In terms of offering to be her surrogate - please proceed with care and make sure you are 110% sure and that you have the support of your partner first. We had several friends say they could be our surrogate after the death of our baby which really raised my hopes. But then one fell pregnant with her third (talking about being our surrogate had made her broody for another of her own) and anothers husband refused even though she was keen. So it actually just made things so much worse for us as we felt so let down. Really research it, read loads, ask lots of questions on here so you know exactly what is involved and how devoted you need to be. Then I am sure she would love you to offer - it will mean the world.

Hope that helps - but feel free to ask away if you have any questions xxxxxxxx


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