# do we give up ??



## melita (Mar 12, 2007)

Hi everyone 

Well had our first iui on the 1st june and my period came on the 15th   we are both so gutted, just feels like another kick in the teeth, been very up and down and hubby has sort of shut of the subject..bless him.
I want to go again but hubby not to sure, we did say we would give it 3 goes but what you say and what you do are 2 different things when it doesnt go the way u hoped..
We had our treatment at care fertility in nottingham and they are all amazing people, and have left us to make up our minds on a 2nd go...

Sending big   to everyone at this horrible time and wish you all luck xx


----------



## twiglets (Feb 13, 2008)

Melita,

So sorry about your recent BFN  . As the news is still raw it is normal to have second thoughts about trying again for some time after a BFN... in time I`m sure you will think differently. Boy have I gone through those phases! But, we are strong enough that somehow in the end we DO find the courage to go on. Give yourselves time to heal first before making decisive decisions. As you do have age on your side you do still have a good change of success sooner or later, let`s hope it`s sooner of course! Lot`s of ladies do have a few goes before getting their BFP, so hang in there, it is a tough rough but definitely worth it!

Roses xxx


----------



## Cozy (Jul 17, 2008)

Hi Melita,

sorry to hear about your BFN  

of course it is up to you if you wish to carry on, but I personally wouldnt recommend falling at the 1st hurdle and giving up.  I have been TTC for 8 yrs and am still plodding along and many others have been at it longer than I have. One lady on a thread I currently post on has just got her 1st BFP in 17 years!

IUI has a lesser chance of success than IVF, but for some people works great and it doesnt happen 1st time around for a vast majority of people.

After each of my BFN's I've picked myself up and planned my next cycle, everyone is different and deals with things in different ways, but you've only had 1 IUI and I think before you throw in the towel you should have 1 other go, at least.

If you can afford to do it and you want a child then I would seriously consider carrying on. Your 2nd go could be the one !!

Good luck with whatever you decide

Cozy


----------



## JustJulia (May 18, 2009)

Hi Melita

Sorry to hear about your first experience.  We also said we would do 3 cycles as that is the average amount of times it take to get a BFP (never actually thought it would take that many goes!!).  After my first BFN I was so keen to start over and in hindsight rushed into the next cycle without giving my body (and mind) enough time to get over it.  After the second BFN I said I had enough and that I didn't want to go through it again it was just to hard.  

6 month later and we are due to start out third and final treatment next week, so give yourself time, get some rest and some perspective and what is right for you will come naturally.

Good luck
Jx


----------



## jenny80 (Apr 8, 2009)

Hi

Sorry to hear your news, I am thinking of you. I am now on my third attempt and your right its very hard emotionally and physcially. AFter the first attempt I took 6/7 months from ivf as was devasted and could not see how the apian would vever go. After time I relized that if i want a kid ivf is my only option or adoption and i decided after researchin further I needed to do more ivf before adoption would be right for us.

No words can make you feel better but take care of yourself and try and remember what you enjoyed about your life before IVf and after time make a decison about another go or not when its right for you both.

love

jenny


----------



## Agathe (May 31, 2006)

Please keep in mind that IUI success rates are pretty low, no more than 8 or 10% I think so I guess if it doesn't work after 4 attempts, you might want to switch to IVF. Don't give up now, it is way too soon and I am sure you will have what you have been longing for very soon.

Agathe.



melita said:


> Hi everyone
> 
> Well had our first iui on the 1st june and my period came on the 15th  we are both so gutted, just feels like another kick in the teeth, been very up and down and hubby has sort of shut of the subject..bless him.
> I want to go again but hubby not to sure, we did say we would give it 3 goes but what you say and what you do are 2 different things when it doesnt go the way u hoped..
> ...


----------

