# age concern



## shadowseeker (Mar 10, 2006)

Hi there everyone,

I need a little re-assurance and advice if possible.

I have had 5 failed treatments abroad and have  we now been told by an Athens clinic that i need a hysteroscopy which i am ok about doing, the thing that is bothering me is my age, i will be 50 next may and am now starting to think that maybe i am getting to old, but my longing for a baby is still as strong as ever.
Could i ask you all for you thoughts on going for treatment at this age please.
Sorry if i am putting people on the spot but i think i just need a little positive vibes about this matter.

Thanks in advance

San x


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## Coco Ruby (Jul 21, 2009)

Hi Shadowseeker,

I'm sorry to read that you have had no success with any of your tx as yet.  Regarding your age, in answer to your question, I just wanted to say that my personal opinion is that as long as a woman is capable - in lots of different ways - of looking after a baby, then why let something like age stand in the way.  There are loads of women in their teens and twenties who are less capable of looking after a baby that a woman in her 50's could be.  I have a lot of admiration for ladies like yourself who are having babies in their 40 and 50's (I am in my forties myself) and if men can do it, why can't we?!  I think if you feel strong enough, emotionally and physcially, to have more tx, then go for it.

I just wondered whether you have had any testing for immunes?  I don't know very much about them myself, but there are various threads here where it is discussed and some fertility consultants are of the opinion that they can have an effect on pg.  It was just a thought.

Best of luck to you whatever you decide to do x


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## s1165 (Jan 2, 2009)

Hi San

I dont think you are too old. My Dad was 50 when I was born and lived till he was 81 and I wouldnt have had it any other way. Easier for men I know as the conception act is simpler but the parenting bit isnt and he was fab.
I am 43 but think I am still 23!! Just my body doesnt. Age shouldnt really matter as it really is attitude and also health and fitness which we can have some control over.

I agree about immune testing, dont know much myself about it but it seems you have more than you fair share of "bad luck" with your BFNs.

So good luck to you

x


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## shadowseeker (Mar 10, 2006)

Thank you both for your replies, it does help knowing that there is support.
I will be going to Serum to have a Hysteroscopy before my next tx as they say it is needed.
I do have 2 grown up children from a previous marriage but we really do want a child between us.
I stupidly thought that because i have already had 2 children ( albeit 20+ years ago) i thought it would be so easy with ivf and that it would only take a maximum of 2 tries, very nieve really.

Anyway thanks again for boosting my confidence on this

Good luck to both of you 

San xx


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## Val123 (Jan 24, 2009)

Shadowseeker

I don't think you are too old either.  Our situations are very similar.  I too am 49 and my DH is soon to be 41.  I have a daughter from my previous marriage who is now 23, and DH and I have been trying since 1994 to have a baby together.

I had thought that as I got older the urge who dissipate - but it has only got stronger and stronger as the years have gone by.  Every miscarriage, failed IVF attempt only served to make me more determined to keep going until ultimately we were told by our clinic (Simpson Memorial Pavilion at Edinburgh) not to waste any more money - which was so frustrating because the raw materials, i.e. my eggs and DH's sperm were okay and we achieved a pregnancy each time, but for some reason the baby's never made it past 6 weeks gestation  .  

Because of that advice from the clinic, we decided to give surrogacy a try.  My wonderful friend and surrogate is now 17 weeks pregnant with our miracle baby who is due 9th April 2010 - by which time I will be 50 and DH will be 41.

When I had my daughter, I had to work full time to support us both and our quality time was limited to weekends.  This time around I do not work and will be able to devote all my time to our new baby - I am more mature, more tolerant and certainly no longer take anything for granted.

Good luck to you in your final IVF attempt - and remember, if it doesn't work out, you still have the option of surrogacy - it worked for us.


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## shadowseeker (Mar 10, 2006)

Val i have pm'd you


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