# Any other "drugs babies" mums out there? Advice needed please



## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

I don't usually shout this from the rooftops, but didn't know where else to gain advice really.
My 2nd daughter Roo was subjected to major drug abuse prior or her birth. All through the pregnancy, upto her birth. 


She's now 6 years old and apart from her asthma, she's healthy. She's always been very switched on and from the age of 3, wanted to read the newspaper, could remember a shopping list, can follow instructions etc etc. she is loving, generous and so so funny. She's a real character.
But her overriding legacy of her first life, is her hyperactitivity. It's been very apparent since she could walk, that she's wired quite differently! She's on the go from 6am til bedtime, she can't sit still to eat a meal, she has a need to be onto the next thing all the time. She never rests unless she's asleep. Which is the one thing we are most thankful for! Her brilliant ability to sleep at night! As she's grown, she also has a very impulsive tendency almost like a toddler. She'll run in the street to press buttons, whether they're on a cash machine, or at a crossing. When I've looked at the symptoms of ADHD, she ticks every single point on 2 out of the 3 lists. I took this to her school teacher. 
Today, I've met with the SEN teacher who cannot believe we are talking about the same child. She has Roo for maths lessons and she's not seen a sign of ADHD and says its definetley not that. She recognises that Roo needs intervention with her learning, she is struggling. But one thing she mentioned that I've never heard of before, is she asked if Roo was premature or small at birth because she said Roos hands are very small. When I told her about birth mums history, she said that makes sense, Well, to me, Roos hands are in proportion with the rest of her tiny frame, 


Has anyone else heard this? And has anyone else seen similar symptoms in their children?


I feel slightly alone at the mo. X


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

Everhopeful

I'm have no experience with this at all, so can't really offer advice, however, you're her mum and you know her best.  It sounds to me like Roo is an inquisitive child running to push buttons, attracted to lights etc  As you say, she's been bright as a button since the age of 3 - reading newspapers remembering shopping lists and so on. 

Is there someone else you can chat to who has a child of a similar age?  What does your partner think?

Good luck!


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Hi Everhopeful, I'm sorry to hear you're having problems.

Our son was born addicted to heroin, and birth mother used throughout pregnancy, along with an assortment of other drugs.  He spent the first 3 weeks of his life in Special Baby Unit seriously ill on a withdrawal programme, but since then, has presented as very healthy, apart from sneezing a lot more than is usual.  I don't really have any experience to answer your questions, because our son is only 14 months old, however we looked into possible effects and worrying signs for drug effected children before deciding whether to go ahead with the match.  If your daughter was born with low birth weight then she's more likely to have been effected by drug use, same with small head circumference, and as I'm sure you know, ADHD and learning difficulties are a possible long term consequence.

You know her best, and hyperactivity is definitely likely given her history, so I would go down the medical route to get her assessed.  My daughter displays massively different behaviours at home than to out the home, and is incredibly agitated and verging on hyper when in the house, but is completely different out the house.  In fact all her problems display at home, and hardly at all out the house, which makes it very hard to get people to take them seriously, and I sympathise with the frustration.

All the best, 

Wyxie xx


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

All though we have no evidence of BM using whilst pregnant, the general thought here is that she did, our son is very bright and intelligent but is also on the go from morning till night, cannot sit still, is up and down like all the time and never ever runs out of steam, at school they did not think that he had ADHD, children with ADHD will sit still and concentrate when they are doing something that's they like. He has now been diagnosed and medicated, the medication makes a great difference to him, he even likes taking the medication himself because as he says he feels much calmer, he is just 10 years old and been on the medication for almost a year now.

Sadly it does not do anything for his sever attachment difficulties, but the medication does make all our lives a bit easier, even school who did not think he had it see a big difference. 

Go to your GP and asked to be referred what have you got to lose, good luck.


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Thank you all   


Roo was more than 6lb at birth and delivered normally at full term. I think everyone was amazed she wasn't withdrawing when born and was discharged after 3 days of monitoring. Her younger sister MissNew, however, was very poorly after birth, went through full withdrawal and even now, is under all different departments at the hospital. Thankfully, she's defying all the odds and ticking the specialists off, one by one. But sadly I fear as she gets older, her hyperactivity will be far worse than Roo. She's already swinging her legs while she's feeding and her eyes sometimes are fixed like saucers, she's clearly so wired. 
For as much love and nurturing we give our precious daughters, I fear their birth mums legacy may live on in them in a more negative way x


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Can I just add that my friend who never did drugs during pregnancy and is a relatively calm person, has an almost 2yr old son who is exactly as described above -needs only 8-10hrs sleep at night and 30mins-1hr nap (8.5-11hrs in total) but otherwise totally full of beans. His Dad was diagnosed with ADHD as a child however there is no evidence of it in him as an adult.

My son needs 12-13hrs sleep at night and 1-2hrs nap (13-15hrs in total). What a difference!

Just trying to get across that it may not be the drugs but their personality. You are her mum though and you do know her best! If you're worried then get it checked.


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Thank you Arrows


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Hi Everhopeful, 

I haven't adopted yet but I have worked as a teacher with children from a really wide variety of backgrounds. 

ADHD and ADD come in / can be expressed  two forms  there is the stereotypical bouncing off the walls but there is also the zoning out / inability to focus but not necessarily hyperactive in any way.  

I don't mean this in a disrespectful way to your Lo's teacher but if they are working in a reasonably middle class school and always have they may not have a very good understanding of ADD rather than ADHD and therefore may not be familiar with the second sort I am describing. 

The fact that Roo has always seemed really bright and inquisitive reading newspapers etc for you yet is needed learning support in school would be an indicator of the zoning out not focusing or holding information type of symptoms being shown at school. Obviously I can't be sure of this my expertise doesn't go as far as internet diagnosis. I only say this because the first time I dealt with a child at this end I was skeptical about ADHD /ADD having dealt with the hyperactive side more. 

However he was off the wall at home and luckily a colleague with more experience helped me. Once settled on medication he was loads better and happier but there was a very tough settling period so it was obviously correct. Don't get me wrong I am not massively pro medication and do feel it is overused for some parents and professionals ease. However for some children it is life changing in a really positive way. 

The child I am talking about his mother and I really had to battle with the pediatrician who refused to take us seriously. However after about 4 months and the good luck of a melt down triggered by a long wait at the Dr's office meant the Dr finally got on side. You know your child and what they need do not let professionals tell you they know better x x x x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Thank you so much


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

You are very welcome. What really rang in my head was when my colleague said everyone focuses on the HD of ADHD - the hyperactive bit. Actually ADD = attention deficit disorder. The attention deficit or simply put an inability to concentrate tends to be overlooked. In reality because it isn't disruptive to others and impact on the classroom environment but it does totally prevent a child that is affected from learning if it isn't recognized and being planned for by staff.   Good luck x x x


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Remember that BPs who have ADHD may self-medicate so the ADHD could be genetic and not a direct result of the drug exposure.

Your GP is the best person to ask for a referral to seek a diagnosis.

The issue of small hands sounds like a bit of an old wives tale to me but a paediatrician will know better!


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

My niece was born addicted to drugs and had to go through withdrawal.  She is now 11 and has faced many struggles.  She is not an easy child at all and has needed quite a lot of camhs work due to her attachment difficulties.  She does now have a diagnosis of aspergers.  She doesn't need much sleep, is always on the go, has huge tantrums, emotionally and socially delayed and is fully statemented.  She has been kept back a year at school and will really struggle with senior school   This is a mixture though of drugs, attachment and early trauma.

OT x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

No advice for you, just to add to your 'case studies'  

Our Bug was born withdrawing (heroin and amphetimines I think, from memory, but I'd have to go back and check the files to be sure).  He was in neonatal for 9 days, but his symptoms were very mild and he didn't need medication, just warmth and care and lots of cuddles.

(BTW, a neo-natal nurse friend has told me that newborns who are born withdrawing and going into care get LOTS of cuddles from the staff.  Apparently they fight over who gets to hold them next!   Which was lovely to know.)

He has been with us since he was 2 and is nearly 3.  He has two speeds: 100 mph and unconscious.  Sleeps really well, it's not unknown for him to have a 2 hour nap and then go 12 hours at night, too.  It's rare for him to concentrate on one thing for long, but that's improving significantly, and he's settled well at childminders and in nursery.  If something's bothering him he tends to think v v hard about it and get tired.  He had some angry problems initially but is now brilliant and managing his emotions.  He comes across as bright with good retention and keen for new challenges.  He's attached really well.

All the best.


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

lol AofC at DS's 2 speeds  


both mine have tendencies towards the hyper end of things..I'm never sure whether their 'womb experience' is to blame or not   their preferred state is to be near the ceiling..this is where they would be if I didnt 'keep' them at a level more compatible with normal life  


DS came at 9 months..always very active but slept like a dream - 2 hrs in the day, 12 hrs straight at night. he is now 6 and he is still very very active..he is a very athletic/sporty boy, always has been..thin as weed but fiendishly strong..he scales very tall trees, flips on the trampoline and wins medals in gymnastics. But he can concentrate for quite long periods of time, he'll play playmobil/trains etc for ages but it HAS to be balanced out by being outside ALOT..i dread the coming of winter every year   If he doesnt get outdoor time he starts climbing the walls and being very silly. He is especially hyper/dysregulated around other children (certain children make him worse) he has a very high ranged tone to his voice which makes my teeth itch when he's playing with some children..it gets sillier and sillier. since he gave up his dummy (wish I'd left him with it) he has had trouble settling to sleep..at night I lie with him alot and he finds it very difficult lie still and settle for more than 2 seconds. I lie with him because he was getting up to mischief after i put him to bed (spitting down the walls to name but one joyous activity) I have a meditiation  CD for bedtime now which seems to have helped but basically the more beans he's run off in the day, the better he'll drop off.. We home educate both children. I simply cannot imagine how he would function in school..he would most likely be in and out of mischief all day.So sometimes i think he has hyperactivity problem and sometimes i dont..children I've known with ADHD wouldnt settle down to play for the lengths of time DS does..so i dunno..I'm in no rush to get him diagnosed with anything as he's perfectly manageable given the environment i am able to provide..in a school setting it would be a whole different story..



DD is 7 and is less active in the physical sense but can get just as hyper at times..she has much poorer concentration than DS and tires very easily. she is impulsive (she still touches switches etc in shops like your DD Everhopeful), very like a toddler at times..and switches from one activity to another very easily, though, like DS she can have very calm focussed periods when engaged. she too gets overstimulated by too many children/ too much noise/the wrong children.She drops off to sleep no problem, in fact asks to go to bed..and functions very poorly (and gets very emotional) if she doesnt get enough rest..she napped till she was 6..


so I dont know if my childrens behaviours/hyperactivity are due to their womb environment or not..I sort of accept thats how they are and theres not that much i can do about it except what I am doing..keeping a calm environment where I can, LOTS of fresh air and time to be physical, a very  good (strict) diet (little sugar/no additives/sweets etc, LOTS of raw food), very little screen time (no DS's/Ipads etc) and keeping them out of school where i believe they would not thrive currently. It do think we're making progress but it could just they are maturing, ideally I'd like to see them making the choice to be calmer instead of me enforcing it if you see what i mean..somedays it seems better than others..structure works-timetabling their day so they know whats next seems to keep them calmer generally..other days it all seems to go to pot!!
I wouldnt ever medicate them so all i can do is what we are doing..


dont know if that helps or not..we're all stabbing in the dark a bit eh?


kj x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Very interesting reading, 
my 2's stories are quite different, 1 was born premature & withdrawing but appears a 'normal' child, no hyperactivity, can concentrate well, sleeps fine, etc and the other there is no history of drug taking or harm etc but is very 'ants in pants' flits from one thing to the next although concentration is getting better.  So from my experience I think it is their personalities, the child who experienced the most 'harm' neonatal shows no current signs of such, the child who was cared for during their 'womb time' is the one off the walls    

The hardest thing to understand is the never knowing, never knowing whether X has caused Y or if that is just how they are, for me, I take them as they are, trying hard not to look deeply into anything I cannot change. 


I have never heard of the hands thing, peculiar one.


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