# Advise needed on explaining why my son has the same name as my nephew



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Hi All

I need some advise please. My sister is coming to visit me tomorrow and I've recently made some new mummy friends in my local area who I haven't known for long so haven't mentioned that my son is adopted. We're either likely to bump into people I know when we go to the park or we might arrange to meet up, I will obviously want to introduce my sister and her son, but what do I say to explain why my son and nephew have exactly the same name. It's a very short name and cannot be abbreviated in any way. Just panicking that I won't know what to say as I think if I was introduced to 2 sisters who both had children with the same name I'd probably ask why. My nephew is only a year older than my son so very similar ages.


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

I have 2 male cousins both with the same name a couple of years apart so it does happen, if someone puts you on the spot blame one of the dps you could say 'oh I know mr summer was dead set on it even though they beat us to it' 

Lilly x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Think I would say something along the lines of that was my sons name when he came to us, and just leave it at that, but we have always been very open about our our children being adopted I know some people like to keep if private.


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks for you advise I didn't end up bumping go to anyone in the end, but in the future I'm going to say we didn't think it mattered that they have the same name, if fact it's such a popular name in our family that there are 4 xxxs in total! Which is true, 2 of my first cousins also named their sons the same!


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## Gwen A (Mar 19, 2014)

In my mother's family using the same name is so common there are several photographs with where everyone has the same first and second name.


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

I wouldn't offer an explanation.  My son has the same name as my Dad, also my Husband's middle name, which while I quite like the name, is a bit odd to me; I would never have named my son after my Dad.  I've got used to it though and it's rare to question things like that.  More likely that an unusual name is questioned or people feel the need to comment.  My daughter's name always draws some comments because it's unusual - honestly, I didn't realise how unusual when we picked it.  I find people often think it's a new "made up" name which irritates me a little, as actually it's biblical.  I'm not religious, we just liked the name, but it is old, it's just fallen out of us.


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

I agree with Wyxie, people don't think half as much about things as we do anyway, and if you just say 'it's a family name' it's not a big deal. In previous generations it's been totally normal to call a son the same name as his dad, and people still do this.

When I first adopted I felt like everyone 'knew' but actually they don't, and these days I answer how I want to answer. I've found as an adopter you can feel like 'the only one' but how do any of us actually know the other kids at playgroup or preschool aren't adopted? People completely assume I gave birth to my kids and that's fine by me as unless they're a proper friend, it's none of their business. People have no option but to believe what you say - if you say it's a family name and you both really wanted it and live far apart enough to do this, that's the situation.

My (adopted) niece who I spend tons of time with shares my name, I call her my mini-me, and we're very close so it's perfect. People just assume my sister named her after me....the irony being had she been a birth child, that is the name she would have been given anyway as my sister chose it years ago! Meant to be!


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

quite a few people in my family have the same name as each other. i don't think anyone cares. just shrug it off.


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