# Just thinking out loud really



## Mrs Winky (Mar 30, 2005)

Hi guys, i am just thinking out loud really, but would really like to hear what makes you/your partner want to have another child after the rollercoaster of IVF?

So, me: now 40, DH is 45. He has 2 boys from his first marraige (now 21 & 1. We married 6 years ago and he had a reverse vasectomy 4 years ago so that i could have a much longed for child. After treatment for Endo, fibroids, the loss of our gorgeous little critter at 8 weeks, we got pregnant on the 2nd go of ICSI and now have Jacabus (babybus) and Sammykins.

After a wild first few months we have everything i could ever have wished for and i am incredibly grateful!

And now DH has dropped his bomb-shell - he wants us to have another go!  He has gone from 'doing it for me' to 'doing it for all of us' from 'oh god how are we going to cope with twins' to lets have another one!' from oh no! more boys!' to 'if its another boy i'll be just as happy'!

And i dont know what to think. I have told him that we should wait until the boys are a year old before starting again (i dont think i could cope with three babies under 2!) and he accepts that. Is he just in love with our babies and wants it all over again or does he really mean he wants another one?

I would love to have another baby (although not two again i hope!) but the pros and cons are buzzing around in my head and i cant pin anything down (if that makes sense!).

What do you think?

Abby


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## Minkey (May 22, 2004)

Hello  

Well I guess that I am slightly different as it was me that was/is desperate for another baby & DH that needed the convincing.  But I just have a terrible longing for another child, partly for me and partly to give my daughter a brother/sister.  DH really was not keen to go through it all again, but eventually he realised the benefits for our daughter (he is still happy to stick at one for himself).  

I suppose that my longing completely outweighs any stress I felt of treatment - but I know that I had a much easier journey that some.  I am actually finding it more stressful this time as I have to take Agatha into the equation with appointments etc, but I will deal with it because even if we are not successful I have to know that I tried.

Not sure if that helps you at all  

Minkey x


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## Ashy (Jul 31, 2004)

Although I haven't gone through IVF/ICSI etc to get our two children I am not at the same point as you where the idea of having a third child has now popped into the conversation.

After DS was born I always said "no more"  - can't even remember why now!  

We have two lovely children - one boy, one girl - some would even say an ideal family.

DH is keen to have another, so am I - one minute, then thinking about affecting the two we have the next.  I also wonder can we afford it?  Then on the other hand I don't want to regret not having another.

At the moment I am leaving things to chance - if you get my meaning!

Am glad I've found someone in almost the same predicament as me.


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