# 3 ICSIs, 3 BFN...what next?



## Lil75 (Mar 16, 2009)

Hi folks,

Just had my third cycle of ICSI....AF arrived on Saturday, OTD was today.

Just devastated. And am so confused.....what should I do next? Should I change clinics? How do I know when the right time is to move? 

Sorry for rambling but am all over the place!


----------



## snzk (Mar 27, 2009)

hey Lil75
so sorry to hear that you got a BFN. it is such a rollercoaster and nothing prepares us for the devastation.
I too have just had my 3rd failed ICSI at GCRM. This was our 3rd self funded and our final attempt. I'm not sure how we cope each time but I know that a little piece of our hearts is broken each and every time.
we just received our letter which clearly states they recommend donor eggs if we were to return. I know that many women change clinics and this has been suggested to us but we are not going to do any further cycles.
I know DE is an option that many women take and I admire them for it. In order to move on my logic was that even using DE, there is no guarantee that implantation will take place. So, We have decided to go down the adoption route and have our first meeting shortly. The need and longing to be a mummy will not just disappear but I am happy that at least we've given it our best shot to conceive.

I hope that you give yourself some time to come to terms with things and that you can make the right decision for you. It is so hard, no guarantees, and as for changing clinics you don't know if you are better with who you know or if a fresh mind is the way forward. 

I guess when you have time to grieve then you may be in a better mind set to know if you can do it again.

take care. xxxx


----------



## Lil75 (Mar 16, 2009)

Ah thanks snzk. I'm so sorry your cycle didn't work out either.    you are right, our wee hearts take an awful battering during this process. 

I too admire anyone who does DE but I also have a concern that implantation may still not happen. Hopefully your adoption process will go smoothly and before you know it, you will have a wee baby in your arms. Thats all any of us want.  

As you well know GCRM is a lovely clinic and I couldn't fault their care so changing clinics will not be an easy choice. I haven't received my letter from them yet so will wait to see what that says. 

Its just a tough journey, isn't it? Great to have FF to discuss with people who 'get' it.

Thanks for your response, I really appreciate the support.


----------



## ♥ Bubsy ♥ (Feb 18, 2010)

Hi Hun

I felt just like you after my 3rd failed ivf. I was torn about the change of clinic also, but as I have read in books after multiple cycle failure something has to change. Even my GP (who is actually lovely)felt we really needed a fresh pair of eyes on it. We moved and the clinic did lots of things differently which is what we needed. I got my bfp 4th time, its very early days but fingers crossed. If you still have the emotional and financial resources to do it don't give up, we almost did after my 3rd. Go and see some other clinics armed as much of your history as you can and ask them for an honest opinion and what they can do differently for you to achieve a different outcome.

Whatever you decide wishing you so much luck      xxxx


----------



## Lil75 (Mar 16, 2009)

Hi Bubsy,

Congratulations on your BFP. Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.

I have been looking at ARGC to give it one more shot. Trying to figure out the financial side of things and also the logisitcs as i am in Ireland so looks like I will have to move to London for 3 weeks. I wish I had a crystal ball....wouldn't that be great!!

Take care,
Lil


----------

