# Stage 2 - considering a link with FAS



## AndyCapp (Nov 26, 2012)

Apologies if I've put this on the wrong board.

My DW and I finished an unsuccessful round of IVF in January this year, so decided that the way to grow our family would be through adoption.

We started the adoption process in August and are now undergoing stage 2.

We had originally expressed a desire to adopt siblings, and had suggested that we may consider children with additional needs.

At our first prep group our SW gave us 3 profiles to look at - 2 sets of siblings, plus a single child. Although we had wanted siblings, something drew us to the single child - a 3 year old with FAS.

We have done some research on FAS and have now met one of his SWs with a view to putting a link in place. 

At our meeting, his SW suggested that we find out more about FAS - e.g. by talking to parents who have children with FAS/FASD, which is what leads me here...

If you have been fortunate enough to adopt a child with FAS, we'd love to hear from you (good and bad). We're particularly interested in how they're doing in adolescence/adulthood since the future is so uncertain for this little man that we'd like to understand what sorts of things we could prepare for.

We've also been in touch with our local FAS trust branch to see if there are any parents near us who would be willing to share their experiences.

Thank you!


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi Andy,
Congratulations on the possible link.

No personal experience but you might want to check these out: -

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=259586.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=259562.msg4345790#msg4345790

Also might be worth posting on adoption UK forum as there tends to be adopters on there whose children are grown up, i.e. who adopted years ago, as most on here are more recent adopters.

Best wishes

GG


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## AndyCapp (Nov 26, 2012)

Thank you GG.

We'll check those out.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

There's a couple of experienced adopters that have children with fas on mumsnet adoption forum. Fasparent is one I see on there frequently and has experienced varying degrees of fas with now adult children I believe. So try posting on there. Good luck.
There was also an interview on this morning last week of a family with a daughter with fas which would be worth a look.


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi,

Me and my DH have just adopted 2 gorgeous boys with potential FAS. It is a leap of faith when deciding to go ahead with any child. But as me and my DH see it, if u had ur own birth child they could still be born with a number of disabilities. One of the positives is that with an adopted child u get a heads up, but could still go on to have health problems. 
The report we got from our Sw and at the meetings we attended, a lot of it was very positive and the more and more we spoke to specialists and the children's Sw, we decided to go ahead and both our LO's are clever as hell and they seem very normal to us. But FAS is hard to diagnose apparently and many parents are told their children have hyper issues (AHD).
I also researched and spoke to a lady who had adopted a little boy with FAS and she said she wouldn't change a hair on his head, which made me think and was a big help.
If I were yourselves and u had feelings for this LO I would get his CPR, I'd meet his Sw and medical advisor and research as much as u can. The research I found sounded like a teenager going through every possible bad stage, but I don't think a human could possibly have each defect. Also they're so many stages before u meet LO and chances for u to change ur mind.
I hope this has helped and I wish u all the best for ur forever family x


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## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

Hi 

We are also thinking of pursuing a link born with facial characteristics of FAS but they have lessened over time the child is still extremely young and so far is meeting all milestones it's so hard to know what to do I have read so much that I think I am meeting myself coming backwards if you catch my drift.

It seems like such doom and gloom when I speak with my SW surely there are some positive stories every child we have been linked with has been exposed to alcohol misuse it's a huge leap of faith to take

Moo x


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