# Dating during fertility treatment



## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Hi Ladies,
It's been a while since I used this forum.
After 3 failed IUIs I am due to start my first ivf with donor sperm in May; I'm very focused on my plans and looking forward to getting started.

I'm 39 and have been single for years . After my failed IUIs (last one in October) I joined a dating site but never had any luck. However, I have been chatting to a nice guy for a few weeks now and he is keen to meet up. Now normally I'd jump at the chance but I am very reluctant - if I like him then everything will become very confusing for me. I just want to plough ahead with my plans without a man in the picture but I worry I'd regret missing out on the opportunity of meeting someone nice.
I keep delaying meeting him until I make up my mind but I'm still indecisive.

Is there any point in dating someone when I'm due to start ivf in about 2 months? Has anyone else had any experience of anything similar?

Thanks

Heidi xx


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## lucky2014 (Aug 10, 2014)

Hi Heidi - yes I was in a very similar boat - 2 failed IUIs moving to IVF and met someone  I quite liked at that point.  Going on a date or two is a really good idea  - I think it (i) keeps you 'out there' and looking to see what you do want in an eventual partner and (ii) its can distract you from the fertility process which lets face it is really really tough.  I'm now 27w pregnant after the IVF and as much as those dates didn't really come to anything - I do think it can give you a bit of confidence about dating on this journey.  I'm finding work and being pregnant tough enough to not want to try and date now I'm pregnant but I would like to look again once (god willing) I've had the baby and we've got a bit settled. Good luck with it all xx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Heidi, you have my number so happy to chat to you in more depth about this.
I told three separate guys I was going on dates with about my attempts, pregnancies and future plans (not on first dates, but quite early on), and it went down well.
I must add though that all three were dads! Perhaps that makes a difference vs non-dads potentially heading for the hills...x


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## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Thanks ladies

Broody - this guy is only 25 and has no kids so I'm not sure how he would react to me telling him my plans! 

I still am undecided. I suppose it'd do no harm to go on a date or 2 and then tell him and see why happens buy part of me is quite happy just now and can do without the distraction of a man!

Ill keep you updated!


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## natclare (May 27, 2011)

Hi Heidi, Well I do know this is not the same thing but I think you know I am the internet dating queen (self-proclaimed!) and yes I did meet loads of people whilst going through various IVFs for freezing purposes. I personally say go for it but I would also tell him what your plans are pretty early on (3rd/4th date?) so you have not lied to him in any way. Obviously he might think you are totally mad and go running for the hills but also you may be pleasantly surprised. Go for it and enjoy yourself.


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Ok why are you dating a 25 year old?
If it's for the obvious reason there's no need for any conversation at all  x


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## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Lol Broody I think he's far too young and try to keep my distance but he keeps chasing. Think he may have a cougar fantasy!


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Well in that case get your claws into him!
Make him work hard for it by telling him 'off-putting' facts about yourself should reveal his intentions soon enough.
Roar!!


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## solomum (Apr 17, 2012)

Related:

http://choicemom.libsyn.com/dating-as-a-single-mom

/links


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

Thst 25 is not there to stay. Plus, God forbid,  could be someone who has certain issues. Let's be honest, in a sea of girls who are in their 20s,  he goes for 39 year old.
stay away from him esp if you are serious about the ivf. Later on, if you find yourself ok and able, find a decent man who will also be good to your kid.


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## Heidi33 (Apr 2, 2013)

Ah well the 25 year old poofed so problem solved! Lol


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

Every time when I hesitate I follow the rule it is better to do smth and feel sorry you have done, then feel sorry you have not done


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