# Pregnancy in the family



## Jengles (Mar 3, 2016)

I hate feeling upset about it but I do. My husband's cousin is pregnant. 

Last night for some unknown reason my husband decided to tell me his cousin is pregnant. We got married the same year and it always felt like a bit of a competitive thing with her. 

Seems like they have basically planned this around her master's degree which makes me even more irritated. 

We hadn't told many people in the family about our issues and miscarriage but someone must have told her so she's been keeping it from us but has told other family members she's pregnant. Which makes it worse. Then for some unknown reason she calls my husband yesterday to tell him and then he tells me last night when I was drunk. 

Then we had to explain to our friends our story as they didn't know about any of it and we're obviously confused about why she would keep it from us. I then got upset so we went home. Was such an awful way to end the night. I feel awful for our friends who are going to try this year for a baby and now we've probably scared the life out of them. 

I hate how upset I feel about this. But I just know how it will be now. Every event I'll be thinking it should be our baby, our naming ceremony, our Christening. 

Everyone cooing over their baby. 

Then this morning I wake up to get my period. Because there just isn't enough reason to be upset! 

So 2017 has started with a hangover, period and tears. Not at all what I wanted. I was going to go out with friends today but I just can't face it. Seeing them with their kids I'm feeling too fragile

Meanwhile the husband is snoring. He doesn't understand why I'm still so upset about losing our baby. That I carried for nearly 3 months and spoke to and nourished. 

Sorry to whinge but I just needed to vent. Need to pick myself up again but right now I just feel so sad.


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## newtrier (Jun 16, 2016)

Dear Jengles,

Awww, so sorry to hear that you are feeling bad.  This 'journey' is so hard at times, and so unfair. I hope you will be kind to yourself today and do some nice things for yourself. 

Best wishes

Newtrier


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## MrsRL (Dec 11, 2013)

Hi Jengles,

Sorry to hear you are feeling upset and also very sorry to hear about your MC   I hope venting has helped you a little bit and that you can be kind to yourself today as newtrier says. I can understand you feeling upset about, it's totally natural. Although not a mc, when we had the bfn from our first cycle, I found out a close friend was pregnant and to make it worse it was an 'accident'. I found it very hard to deal with and the only thing that helped was to distance myself away from it all. Take care of yourself   xx


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## Cheesy (Jul 4, 2012)

Jengles I didn't want to read and run. Hugs. Just know your feelings: the grief, frustration, emotional outbursts are all understandable and I think quite normal in the circs. I've had my fair share of meltdowns I can tell you. 

I hope you aren't feeling embarrassed. You are grieving your loss. It's just so hard. Just know that you're not alone. The situation might help in a strange kind of way. Your mates and dh can see you are in pain. You've had a bit of a release.

I wonder if there can be anything helpful in the timing: the start of a fresh year, spring is around the corner and hopefully with the new year might come fresh starts, new tx cycles and a change in fortune. 

Anyway, sending love


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## Jengles (Mar 3, 2016)

Thanks so much all of you for your kind words. Exactly what I needed. so sorry Mrs RL for your bfn I imagine that is also really hard. Cheesy I do feel a little embarrassed especially because I know my husband was, unfortunately people in the bar we were in thought we were arguing and so he had to try and defend himself and explain he wasn't. 

I've had a day resting and recovering which is good. I've also messaged a few friends who I hadn't told but felt it was time and was good to be on my own. I had a good talk with my husband to explain although he has said he doesn't want to see me upset about this again, which is very hard to hear but I think I have to just get my support elsewhere. He accepts I find it hard but I also have to accept he needs to move forward and seeing me upset must hurt. 

I've emailed someone recommended to me who deals with loss. So we'll see what comes of that. 

Have a nice evening ladies and thanks again.


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## Cheesy (Jul 4, 2012)

hi Jengles. Contacting the loss counsellor sounds a positive step. I hope it's helpful. 

Good luck with everything and keep venting. It's how I kept my sanity when my DH wouldn't talk stuff through with me or if situations got overwhelming


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## KayC1977 (Jun 15, 2016)

Sorry to hear about your mc Jengles - I was bad enough when my first IVF ended in a chemical and didn't even realise it had implanted until the ridiculously faint line turned up on OTD, it must be so heartbreaking going through 3 months and then it disappears.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to handle things, you just have to do what is right for you at the time.  And I totally understand your upset about hearing other people get pregnant - and it happened to me 3 different times last year on the day af turned up!

I find watching funny things helpful - even if it's just a few minutes of a clip from a comedian or something!


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