# How do I find referees?



## Vford (Feb 15, 2016)

I know my mother can be one, but I will be doing voluntary work so maybe one of them can be a referee!

Do they need to know me for a minimum length of time, and if so how do I go about getting people to be my referee because I don't know any others?

Thanks


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## poppy05 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi vford


I think your references have to have known you for a period of time? on our ROI form it said they must know us as a couple, we chose my mother in law, and 2 mutual friends.


have you got friends or siblngs you can ask? have a word with your agency if you are struggling to find people


poppy xx


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## Vford (Feb 15, 2016)

poppy05 said:


> Hi vford
> 
> I think your references have to have known you for a period of time? on our ROI form it said they must know us as a couple, we chose my mother in law, and 2 mutual friends.
> 
> ...


I do have my mum, but the other 2 are mutual friends in a way who have known me all my life. I haven't seen them in a while though. Maybe it doesn't matter, because people do move all over the globe!


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

Our LA required 8 references (1 from each of our employers and then 3 each, only one of these could be a family member) others we used included a neighbour who knows us well and friends. They had to complete a form and written reference and some of them also had phone calls and face to face interviews. Our parents were visited at their homes by our social worker. It is in-depth and intense! your references form part of the PAR


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

We too had to have 8 - both sets of parents, both employers, 3 personal each (no other family members).

Our social worker wouldn't allow someone who didn't know us personally at this time, and they would have neleded to know us for at least 2 years. We used our best friends (who as an added bonus have an adopted child), we both chose someone we see every day at work and class as a friend, and then we both chose a friend from childhood who we are still very good friends with (one was our best man).

I think they will be looking to ensure you have a good support network around you so will be looking to talk to people who will be around after a child is placed. 

Our employers were sent a questionnaire in the post, but everyone else was spoken to at their home by our social worker. I also stood as a referee for my friend, and it is quite nerve wracking! Ours ask questions around education, "do you think we would ensure a child attended education", our relationship "have you ever known them have a really hard time with something" and about our support network, our qualities, morals and things like that and also their knowledge of adoption along with how they think we will cope!

Choose wisely, these people need to be able to answer the questions honestly and without saying "well I don't know really, since I moved country I don't see her/him/them anymore..." 

X


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## Pink lemonade (Feb 29, 2016)

We possibly going to go the adoption route. It's bit tricky as I don't really have a friend that I tell everything to. So I guess having a few references helps the social worker to build up a better picture of us.


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