# Here's to another adventure!



## Murf (Jun 18, 2009)

I have posted almost everywhere on this site, might as well post in 'trying to adopt' as well.....  We are at the very early stages, been invited to do the 3 days prep in October so not much will happen before then.  We struggled to start a family, tried IVF and it didn't work, tried it again and it did work, had another cycle which was abandoned due to hospital error and then tried one last time before we called an end to that journey.  I then had a full hysterectomy, ovaries and cervix removed, had a pretty rough time getting over that one!  We have a gorgeous little boy who will be four in September and are hoping to add to our family through adoption.  We have had a positive response from our family and friends and almost nobody was surprised, perhaps we had talked about it more than we thought over the years!  To us, adoption was good enough when we didn't think we'd have a child, it's good enough now.  I am terrified some people (my son one day)? will think we are greedy, we have a child, isn't he enough? He is enough, he is more than enough and I pray to god anything we do does not make him unhappy.  I think my husband and I can offer another child a loving home but I also think my son can offer a child a loving brother, what if people think I just want a play mate for him?  Someone once told me when you have a child, you get an injection of guilt that never goes away, I have always felt a little guilty he wouldn't have a brother or sister but it is not driving us to adopt.  When we first enquired, we didn't have a picture of a child in our minds, we hadn't thought boy, girl, culture, race or anything, we just imagined a child, turns out, it could be a toddler as they like a 2yr age gap between the birth child and any adoptive child.  It's fine, well have to admit I could see my husband adding up another couple of years nursery fees!!!! Think he's over that now, he'll never get that BMW he wants.  Bless.   

Anyway, it's nice to be back writing about another journey, wish us luck please.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Good luck Murf,
It sounds like you have a lot to offer a child and that can't ever be seen as greedy, it's a roller coaster of a ride and I'm sure you'll be plagued with doubts as you go through as they do like to dwell on the negatives but it is a positive thing and a brilliant one.
So I wish you all the very best on your journey to become 4.
Becs


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## Murf (Jun 18, 2009)

People are so strange     I consider most of my work colleagues to be friends, I am lucky like that.  Most people I work with know we had to use IVF to get our son, they also know it didn't always work and that we had some disappointments before we even got to IVF.  Most of them were at my wedding and know me very well.  One of these 'friends' has decided to tell me that he approves of us adopting but never really approved of us doing IVF.    he said he always thought if we wanted a child there are so many children that need adopting that we should have always gone down that route, he doesn't agree with us doing IVF but is ok with adoption, although it isn't something he thinks he would do because other people's children annoy him.    I'm not even sure what my response was as I was in shock, I can't remember what I said and I can't repeat what my husband said when I told him.  Aren't people odd? is it me or should he just have kept all that to himself? Ah, I do remember what I said, I said maybe you wouldn't have such a downer on IVF had you needed it yourself.  He only had to look at his wife to get her pregnant of course    he is of course entiltled to his opinion, I wonder if I had cancer would he agree with me having treatment or would he think they are enough people in the world so if I'm not really needed.  Honestly!


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## Keeping busy (Apr 13, 2011)

I find it very hard to believe that people think they are entitled to say things like that    . He should have kept his opinions to himself and why do you need his approval anyway......... I can guess the sort of things your husband said. Sometimes people truly are clueless. Good luck with your journey xx


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## Murf (Jun 18, 2009)

Quick update from me - we have had to postpone our application at the moment, both mine and husbands employment situation have/could change this month.  We need to sit tight and ride this latest storm.  Hopefully we'll be back to carry on with our application.  Good luck to everyone. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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