# Positive stories



## CLD6 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi everyone after a delay from our agency (staff shortage) we are now having our stage 1 assessment meeting on Wednesday. 

We have been doing some reading as advised but I feel most things I read focus on the negative side of adoption , I found this was also the case on our stage 1 prep course. I know that we are getting prepared for all scenarios but I would really like to hear some positive things , I know there must be success stories out there? Would anyone like to share these with me as to be honest all the negative things I am reading are disheartening me. 

Thank you in advance 🙂


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## MrsD87 (Mar 26, 2016)

Hi CLD6,
I would agree that a lot of the things available to read online are difficult to read and the prep course aims to make sure that you understand what could happen so can be a bit daunting. We are in the final part of our adoption journey so dont have any stories yet but our nephew is adopted. He was adopted 4 years ago, when he was 11 months old. He is wonderful and such a welcome addition to our family. There were some delays with his speech but other than that he is a fantastic little lad. It is one of the reasons why we decided to pursue adoption because their experience has been the very best. I guess that negative things are more interesting to read so there tends to be more of them? But the many families who are living happily may not feel the need to write about it online?


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Completely agree that generally the families that are on the adoption forums are the ones either going through the process or having a hard time. Adopting a child in general will be harder then having a birth child because they arrive so suddenly without a pregnancy to get yourself ready, they are likely to have poor genetics, if your expectations are that your kids are going to university and going to achieve huge things academically you might want to re-assess. Another thing that tends to be quite common on these boards is that birth mother has another baby and you go from trying for years for a child to suddenly having 2 or 3. All these things make for some difficult years.

On the other hand, I have 4 kids, all of them are equally amazing, my life is better than I ever dreamed it would be and my kids give me so much love. Number 3 has been delayed with speech and I doubt he is going to be a brain surgeon. Number 2 is more emotional and needy than most. Life is hectic but I don't regret adopting for one minute. In fact life is exactly what I dreamed off


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## bulmer (Sep 5, 2010)

I adopted 2 LO's nearly four years ago. It hasn't been without it's trials and I'm sure more will follow but when I hear them laughing (and they really let rip with the laughing) then the rest of it doesn't matter.  They are full of life and fun and absolute whirlwinds.  The eldest struggles at school but works hard and is catching up (she is also the youngest in her class) the youngest is as bright as a button.  They've both made friends and, happily, love school. Don't get me wrong they each present their own challenges but all kids do.  The best way to describe them is quite simple - they are my daughters and I wouldn't change anything about them (though sometimes their volume could do with adjusting !) X


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## CLD6 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi guys 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply it is so nice to hear your experiences. 
I understand that it is going to be challenging but I guess I just wanted to hear that there is also happier/rewarding times as well. Many of the books our social worker has asked us to read really do seem to concentrate on all the negative things that could happen and not the positive times. My one big fear is that the child/children will hate me and will violently lash out (obviously through no fault of their own but from what they may have experienced) I am not sure how I would cope with this......


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

We adopted Bubba 5 and a bit years ago. She lights up our world. We watched Disney on Ice for the 4th time on Saturday and those Disney songs really hit hard and the tears still flow. I cry for the what if, i cry because i am so so proud to be a Mummy to an adopted little girl. I never thought I would be able to go to those things with MY DAUGHTER. 


Now don't get me wrong its fair from a happy ever after she drives me crazy, she makes me cry with frustration but don't all kids?!?! 


I do fear she has some mental health/anxiety issues and these come to ahead when things change or she is gonna be doing something she hasn't done before. The classic at the moment is I have a bad feeling i feel like i am gonna bite someone ( she was red carded at school almost a year ago for this) it was the first time and she hasn't done it since. But she can not move forward. Its bloody hard. Or the panic attack she had a couple of weeks ago the night before she went to a dance camp but got up the morning of the camp and was happy got ready and as good as gold.


We have some amazing friends we have made through adoption some from this amazing site. Its so important to talk about your fears and worries especially if you only have 1. I think we over worry that when she is a pain its not normal but then i see friends and realise its totally normal. Be honest be open and honestly it has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. My family worship her and my parents feel she is just meant to be she was grandchild no 7 but definetly has a special place in their hearts. Hubby mum is a bit odd and favours her 3 yr old twin grandchildren but she is a bit special. 


I glow when she walks up to her class and chats to everyone i worry as her best friends changed schools and she doesn't have that 1 special friend but do i worry too much yeah probably.


Hand on heart I love being a Mummy


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

We adopted our Pixie nearly three years ago aged 8 months.  He is (I may be biased here) the best little boy in the world. Cheeky, charming, happy and loving.  I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and for things to be really sh!t but it has not happened to date.  He is a normal talkative, energetic pre-schooler at the moment who fills our world with joy.  We are going for number 2 this year so clearly we have not been put off!

Good luck!


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I think that often people go on to forums to ask for help around certain issues and so things can come across as quite difficult a lot of the time. It's a one sided view. I've posted on groups asking for advice but generally don't post and say hey, all is great! But it generally is! We have had a very uncomplicated adoption journey to date and my daughter does not present with any issues outside of those quite typical for her age. I suppose it's being mindful that things may crop up and we are sure to have the usual teenage angst of 'you're not my real mum', or the 'you love him (BS) more than me'. But we take it all as it comes. She has a healthy understanding of her adoption and is a bright little spark. Her birth family had many issues but our daughter is to date relatively unscathed and luckily in our case nurture has trumped nature. She's also completely gorgeous! I think she has the best from all of us, both birth family and her forever family


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## CLD6 (Sep 10, 2013)

Thank you so much  Lolly, Barbados Girl and aaa is a mummy for sharing your experiences, they are so lovey to hear and I have been sharing them with my husband as well. We were approved for stage 2 yesterday and our meetings start next week, such a mix of emotions but mainly excitement that hopefully we are on our way to becoming a family 😍


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

Just want to echo others. I've posted occasionally about worries but the vast majority of the time our Cub is just the best child we could have possibly have imagined. We're proud to be an adoptive family and know that there may be stresses a log the way, but as time goes on we feel most of the time just like any other family. See my diary for more gushing! Good luck xxx


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