# Help - 41 with 2 chem pregnancies and 1 early M/Cs in last 4 months - What Next?



## Googlegirl (Jan 12, 2008)

Hello everyone - Looking for some advice here!!  After fourteen years with my husband and two failed attempts at IVF at 38 and 39 (hubby had a vasectomy during his first marriage) we eventually separated.  Very sad but we are still good friends.  

Have met new partner and, at age 41 I found myself having the potential to get pregant naturally for the first time ever!!  Did not really believe that I would get lucky at my ripe old age but he hit the bullseye first time!! I tested positive on the day my period was due in July but period came five days later.  Cycle is always very regular and returned to normal the following month but in September I tested positive again - the same thing happened and I started bleeding five days later.  The following month I tested positive again and this time it stuck around but I then miscarried at 7 weeks.  This is three pregnancies and subsequent early losses within a four month period (the first two have barely made it to 5 weeks (chemical pregnancy is it called? and the third has made it to 7 weeks).  Did not ever get any blood tests done in first two so have no idea what HCG levels were.  On the day of the MC (which was very sudden and all over within a few hours!) the levels were about 380 when the hospital tested me.  I have to say that I had very few symptoms with that third pregnancy and I wonder if my HCG levels were always low).  

I am due to have some blood tests in January but I wondered whether anyone else had advice about trying to get pregnant at this age.  Are the three positive results reason to be optimistic that one will go full term? or is Mother Nature trying to tell me that my ovaries and womb are like the Gobi Desert?  I have been suffering a great deal of stress and anxiety since the breakdown of my marriage and, to be honest, I probably would not have gone straight into another relationship if I had not wanted to have a last shot at having a family.  All of the changes I have faced recently feel like "too much too soon" but I also think I don;t have time to wallow in a trough somewhere while my follicles spit out the last of my eggs.  Is it pointless trying to get pregnant when your head is a mess? (my reaction to each of those positive tests has been one of blind panic I have to say which is not a good start)!  New partner is a lovely and supportive guy so I have no worries about that!

Any advice very welcome and good luck to everyone else out there on the quest for parenthood!!

KTP


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hiya


So sorry to hear of your losses.
Its very difficult.
Over the age of 40, in women egg quality deteriourates very rapidly. One consultant explained to me that the eggs become "sticky" as they have been in there a very long time!!! This means when it comes to dividing for making embryos...they often dont divide as easily, making chomosomal abnormalities in the embryo....which is often why the pregnancies over 40 dont work out.
The positive thing for you is that you are getting pregnant, which shows there is nothing wrong with the mechanics of your repro system!!!.... I think its more an age related egg quality issue. I have read many times...its not the age of the womb...its the eggs that matter.
I can only advise you get tested for immune issues and hormone levels I really dont think there is much you can do other than keep trying!!!- At least you are able to keep trying without a huge cost....every time we have a go at getting pregnant it costs thousands of pounds!!!
good luck keep trying!!
It only takes one "good egg"
Lily XX


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## Googlegirl (Jan 12, 2008)

Hi Lily and thanks for your reply.  I have only just read your post about you having a miscarriage a few days ago.  I am so sorry to hear that and I am sending you a big hug   .  I know what you mean about the suddenness of it as well as that was what I experienced myself four weeks ago.  I was fine one minute and then cramping and bleeding the next.  It was all over in a couple of hours and I also spent the afternoon in hospital (overseas as well where the only word I could understand was 'vagina' - must brush up on my Spanish!!).  It is such a shock isn't it?  There is still hope though but I appreciate what you say about the money.  We had to fund our own IVF in my last relationship as my hubby had a vasectomy before I met him so the NHS would not even think about funding us.  We separated last year and I am with someone else although I still shed a tear for what might have been.  

On the plus side I am at least getting 'free treatment' now courtesy of my very energetic new partner.

Take care Lily and you will know what to do next once your mind has absorbed everything.  Horrible time of the year for it all to happen as well.  

Huge hugs for now

Bx


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