# Starting FET - any advice



## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Hi All, 

Not sure where to go so thought I would create a post  

I have had a BFN from last ICSI cycle and am looking to start FET with my June period. For my ICSI cycle I followed Zita Wests guidelines and had prepared my body 3 months before hand - no alcohol, caffine, healthy eating, 2 litres of water a day etc etc etc and it still resulted in a BFN. Didn't even make it to test date as AF   arrived 4 days before. 

I feel that I put a huge amount of pressure emotionally on myself for it to work 1st time and would like some thoughts on how to approach FET, health wise and all?

I am hoping that doing FET after only 8 weeks is not as mad as it sounds. 


Luv
Kelly
xxxx


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## Olivia (Mar 10, 2009)

Hi Kelly,

Sorry to hear about your BFN!  

I had a BFP from first ICSI cycle in March but m/c a week later  We really looked after ourselves like you did. We are starting our medicated FET with my June period too! We are gonna do exactly the same as before(be healthy, no alcohol etc). The only thing we are gonna do differently and that is not tell everyone like we did before-i think its too much pressure-everyone asking questions all the time(i know its cause friends and family care and are interested) but it didnt help. The only thing i will add is that even though ended up going pear shaped i did take 2 weeks off of work for the 2ww(i know they tell you can go back to work) but i just wanted to try and relax cause i have quite a stressful job and have to do alot of driving.

Anyway hope this helps a little bit!

Good luck.

Olivia xxxxx


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Thanks Olivia - we too have decided not to tell anyone this time round, like you say it will hopeful ease the pressure  

I didn't take the full 2 weeks of last time but it is something that I am thinking about doing this time round.


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## kaypea (Nov 15, 2007)

Hi Lady Bella
I had a BFN from my fresh cycle but ended up with a BFP from my FET!
The only thing I did differently was add acupuncture for a month or so before hand and then throughout tx.
I would say I believe that after a painful EC, my body was quite beaten up for the fresh cycle, and that can't have helped things.  With FET, becuase their not rummaging around your body has a chance to relax and act normal.  Also the nurse at my clinic said that the extra oestrogen support with FET can be the thing which works.
I agree with you and Olivia about not telling people - that only adds to the stress. I didn't take the 2ww off work (I had for the fresh cycle) but me and DH took a holiday together for the final 3 days of 2ww, just to keep out of the public eye.  Luckily it all turned out positively!
I too followed ZIta West (although I don't think I was quite as strict for the FET).  I also bought her relaxation CD which I found helpful.  I was sick of the natal hypnotherapy one by then.

Really really good luck to you and Olivia for your tx. 
Dreams can come true with FET!!
 xx


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Kaypea.

I am feeling much more positive about doing fet - purely because it will be less stress on my body. Kepping my fingers & toes crossed that it will work xxx


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## watn1 (Mar 14, 2008)

Hi kelly   Sorry to hear of your BFN sweetie. 

  Although my natural cycle wasn't a BFN I had to have all my embies frozen due to OHSS, I too have done all the prep before following zita west for about 4 months and then was told I would need to wait 2 months before doing FET I had decided that I had put myself through so much I wasn't doing to get all obsessed about healthly eating, No coffee etc and I just went into my FET being 'normal' I infact went out on 2 nights out while going through my FET and was intoxicated quite a lot   I honestly did just think "if it's gonna work it will, If its not it's not" I indulged in a all you can eat chinese the night before my transfer too. I'm not sure if it was because I thought we had little chance of a frozen cycle working as i'd put my mind on a fresh cycle. We were given a 20% chance of our 2day embies working little and behold our bundle is growing well and seem to be full of life inside me   4 of my cycle buiddies all got BFP's from their FET at the same time as me, & also 2 other ladies that eggshared and had all frozen for the same reason also got their BFP's  

I hope you get your BFP this time around


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Thank you you for your response Watn1 - it really made me:



It proves that if it is meant to be then it will 

Love the photos showing the different stages of your ickle man, bet you can't wait to meet him 

Luv
Kelly 
xxxx


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Hi Kelly

I've just had my second BFN and am hoping to have a FET in June too.  Would be great to offer each other support.  

I have done the no alcohol, no caffeine, healthy living thing for both cycles.  My embryos were definitely better quality and I feel much healthier as a result.  However, the BFP is still elusive.

I took 2 weeks off both times too.  Next time I don't think I'll be able to as I used holidays and don't want to go sick.  What I'll probably do next time is have a few days off after ET, and then a few around OTD which i think is the toughest time.

Praying for lots of luck for us all next time round!!!

LuuLuu


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Hi all

I too have just had a BFN following a fresh IVF cycle. 

Like you I did everything I could. I followed Zita West's advice, have had accupuncture for about 3 years and feel like I have living the life of a nun forever!! But hey - what good did it do. We had 20 eggs 11 fertilized and most were excellent quality. 

We went to blast and had a 'near perfect' embies brought home. Luckily I was on holiday for most of the treatment and i had the 2ww off sick. DH was and my mum were fantastic and I barely lifted a finger but still no BFP!!!!!

I really believe if it is going to happen it will. We are going to go on holiday end of July and and I am planning on eating, drinking and living the good life and  then have FET when we return. 

Good luck to us all.


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Don't blame you Liz - I'm starting to think the same way but can't bring myself to drink again as I'm an all or nothing girl!!!  Tbh, I'm enjoying the healthy feeling but if I fancy the odd bit of chocolate, I'm gonna have it!!!


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

hi ladies

hope you dont mind me joining in your chat, we had 1st ivf in oct 08 which i did all the good things, no cafiene alcohol healthy diet, was positive but m/c at 7 weeks. we just went through our 2nd in march but had to stop after ec due to severe ohss in hospital for 12 days very ill, we did all the same that time too. we are now due to start fet with next period which should be middle of may. i dont think im gonna put as much pressure on my body this time i was so obsessed with it all and was so poorley i think im going to relax a bit with this one, and hope for the best.

its all such a roller coaster on its own without adding to it by looking at every little thing, im just gonna stay off alcohol - and cut down on the choccie  

take care kirst x


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Hi LuuLuu - Sorry to hear about your 2nd BFN. Will be great to offer each other support for the next cycle  We too are looking to start on my June period, but are defo not telling anyone this time round. I fell of the wagon on Friday and got totally hammered with dh, purely because my next door neighbour told us that she was 8 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child whilst drunk and smoking! She had her implant taken out in January and fell pregnant straight away. I get on with her, so was pleased but couldn't believe that she is still drinking and smoking. She does not know about our situation but it felt like such a stab to the heart after all the hard work I put in last time. Am now back on the wagon and as I need to lose a couple of pounds before the next tx everyone will believe that I am just on a healthy kick. 
Last time I only drank water but this time I will be less strict with myself and if I fancy something then have it  The only thing I will stick to is the no alcohol rule.

Kirst - sorry to hear about your m/c and ohss but loving your positive approach to looking ahead to the next cycle. I too stressed myself out and feel that next time I just need to relax. Hope you keep in touch and let me know how everything is going 

LizG - Hope you have a fantastic holiday and come back all relaxed for FET. As you say - if it is going to happen it will and there isn't much we can really do about it except relax 

Thank you to you all for your responses, it means alot to me.



Luv
Kelly 
xxxx


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## gerbera (Aug 4, 2008)

i did all the healthy stuff on my last fresh cycle = bfn. am now on fet, et is 2morrow! i have been much more relaxed about stuff, have eaten more choc than i normally do when not on treatment (think i went into a negative frame of mind that nothing is gonna get me pregnant, those down reg drugs make me feel really low) i have even had the odd drink ( like 1-2 units over a week) have told far fewer people. this has made a difference coz i dont have to pretend to be positive about it all the time!
anyway just had to get that off my chest!
just be reasonably healthy and try to relax!


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Hiya Gerbera - that sounds like a really good plan to me. I think trying to life like a nun only puts more pressure on your self and the whole process is stressful enough as it is. I am not going to tell as many people aswell. I was more worried about telling others it had failed than about what me and dh were going through - daft!!

We have just found out that our follow up appointment isn't until August 11th. I can't believe we will have to wait that long for our FET. But hay - time flies.

XXX for your et. Keep us posted.


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## gerbera (Aug 4, 2008)

thanx for that, i have just painted my toenails for my et 2morrow how sad is that! lol!


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Gerbera - I think that your plan sounds fab. We are not telling anyone about our next cycle, like you say it takes the pressure off and stops the  everytime someone asks how it went. The down reg drugs made me feel really run down, so I am actually looking forward to not taking these for FET. 
I am currently waiting for AF to arrive so that I can make appointment with nurse to plan for our FET in June. However, she is late, which I kinda expected after all my body went through for ICSI.

Hope you will all keep in touch so we can let each other know how we are getting on 

See you all soon 
Luv
Kelly 
xxxx


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

I have now decided to put FET off until July, no other reason than it is our busiest time at work and would not be able to get time off for appointments. Rather than causing myself extra stress I am going to ask the clinic at our appointment on Thursday to go with Julys period instead  

Am kinda looking forward to starting it again but v v nervous about it at the same time. Going to try and keep myself relaxed this time round. 

Luv 
Kelly 
xxxx


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

hi ladies
kelly - that sounds a good idea, you need to be as less stressed as possible, i know its a hard wait when you wanna get going but it does come around quick especially if you goona be kept busy, you gotta do whats best for you in the end. 

liz - we had a long wait from our ivf to our fet, just doing it now, like i said above it is hard to wait but does go quite quick, hope it does for you  

i finish my provera tom and still doing my injections, so big hurdle will be waiting for af to arrive as always takes so long  

have a good weekend everybody
kirst x


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Typical Birdey, for years you prey that she won't arrive and then when you want her - where is she!!! Let hope she shows her evil head soon.

I am waiting for my first af since my failed treatment. Usually by now I have really, really bad PMS but nothing! Not a sign or a dicky bird. I know tmt can mess up your cycle but I am sooooo heavy and painful that I really need to be prepared. I am always 28 days to the day, hour and practically minute so we had thought in our head's that we could do FET in August cycle. That way I am off from work for the 6 week hols but that won't happen if cycle is messed up. But hey ho - trying not to get worried.


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## amyclare (Mar 24, 2008)

hey ladies, 
just wanted to pop on and say that i too followed zita west to the letter, took all the addtional suppliments etc had three days bed rest and still got bfn, i am having fet in sept and am going to eat healthy and cut out the drinking but other than that i am just going to try and chill out.

goodluck all of you with your fet

    for everyone xxxx


love amyclare x


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## purr317 (Oct 17, 2008)

Hi Olivia and to everybody else

I had first try at ICSI in March and got a BFP then had a m/c a week later. I have 3 frozen embies and hoping to try again in June if I'm accepted for tx. I did eat healthy, take a vitamin and look after myself  but I didn't go out of my way to change my lifestyle. I think you have to try not to be to strict with yourself because then the whole tx process takes over your life and that shouldn't happen in between tx because you just need try and relax. 

I hope you next tx is a success.  

Purr X


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

hi ladies
purr - im really sorry for your loss its really hard to deal with and is so cruel when you have been through this process, i know how you feel i m/c at 7 weeks in oct last year and its terrible.  

amyclare - how are you feeling ?

well bit of good news sort of looks like af is on its way without being graphic hopefully should be fully by tom praying, then we can get next stage started, cant wait now its all im thinking about

hope you allhad good weekend
kirst x


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## amyclare (Mar 24, 2008)

hey birdie,
feeling good, glad to hear that the ol witch is on her way, il be keeping my fingers crossed for you and checking your progress x
amyclare x


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Well AF is not playing ball if she doesn't hurry up and arrive may throw our plans for tx in July out of the window as the clinic has a 2 week shut down in August.

Never thought I would be   for AF to be here.

Luv
Kelly
xxx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Typical isn't it.

My first af after treatment was nearly 2 weeks late. First time i have been late in my life. THought it had actually happened naturally - but hey who was I trying to fool. 

Anyway that delay has meant planned et would be bang in the middle of my holiday to cuba which we booked to take our minds off the 2 week wait!!!

Never mind - what will be will be. Follow up appt is on june 30th so will pencil in txt for aug/sept. At least it gives me a couples of months to try to loose some of the weight I have put on since txt!!!
Good luck all


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Liz - hope your review goes well. Best laid plans and all eh!

I am absolutely terrified about starting tx again with July af. Am trying to stay really upbeat and positive and take it all in my stride but find it really difficult to not let it consume my thoughts. 


xxxx


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

good luck ladybella - hope it all goes well for you

kirst x


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Thanx Kirst xx


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

OMG am getting so nervous the  is due 8th July should she decide to arrive on time, which has not been the case the last 2 months. Should then start on the rollercoaster that is FET. 
Feel like I am not prepared at all I have not changed anything in my lifestyle to support this round of tx as I have carried on drinking rather than stopping for months prior to tx like i did last time. 

Will just have to see what happens. Feel like our appointment with the nurse was ages ago and cannot remember what she told us - am sure that its just the nerves but going to ring them before AF to double check everything.

Hope there has been some recent FET miracles and that our lil frosties   are tough enough to survive the thaw whenever that maybe  

 to all you peeps who are going through tx  

Luv
Kelly
xxxx


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

good luck ladybella hope it all goes well  

i just got my bfp this morning on fet, just gtta pray they stay with me now.

kirst x


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Birdey - huge congrats!!! When is your first scan

LadyBella - GOOD LUCK!!!


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

LuuLuu - just seen your signature hope everything is going well


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Ladybella - very stressful as I've had lots of bleeding so 3 scans so far.  Basically I have a fairly large blood clot that they think formed around implantation which keeps bleeding.  I am trying to accept that I may have lots of bleeding and just praying baby keeps well!!!

LuuLuu


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

luuluu - wishing lots of luck, take care

got phone call back from clinic and my scan is on 15th july so only 2 weeks, come on little ones!

kirst x


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

They can do it Birdey and we are all here to support!!!


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

to you LuuLuu am sure that the lil one is strong enough as it was strong enough to create a natural BFP  

Birdy - fantastic news on your BFP    not long to wait for your scan. Again if they are strong enough to work I    that they are strong enough to hold in there


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

AF arrived yesterday so have started the tablets and booked in for scan next Friday. Sooooo scared about being on the roller coaster again 

Luv
Kelly
xxxx


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Good luck Kelly!!!


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

kelly thats great news time will soon pass by, i know what you mean by being scared its all exciting and scary at same time. be thinking of ya let me know how you get on?

kirst x


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Thank you LuuLuu & Kirst will keep you updated xx


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Been for scan today & lining 8.3mm so all ready to go. My little snow babies will be thawed on Monday    that they make it xxx


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

well done ladybella, good luck for the thaw be thinking of ya
kirst x


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Good luck Lady Bella


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Thanks

Have a really upset tummy today think it is my nerves as I am scared as   about the call tomorrow. Have asked dh to answer the phone as I will   if none of the 3 have survived.      that they do


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## pushoz (Jul 27, 2008)

Lady Bella

Hope you don't mind me popping by but we got a BFN from our first ICSI so at the moment I am trying to learn as much as I can about FET as we have 4 frozen embies.  Hope everything goes well tomorrow and your little ones survive the thaw, think it's a good idea to get DH to answer the phone for you I would be exactly the same.

Pushoz


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Pushoz - thank you for this. I am at Care in Sheffield and the way they do fet has been really straight forward - I started hrt on day 1 of my period and continue to do this throughout, went for a scan 11 days after to check lining which has to be at least 8mm to arrange ET. They gave us the date and time for ET and said they would call to let us know how the thaw went. I started my pessaries the same evening two at 10pm and then every morning and night twelve hours apart. So just waiting for the news tomorrow. 
I know that some clinics have different procedures from what I have read on here - but there is plenty of info for you to look at.

Hope this helps and good luck with your FET xxxx


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## shanith (Jan 17, 2009)

Hi All

hope you don't mind me joining in. LadyBella best of luck for tomorrow!  I'm due to do a natural FET on Weds so I know how you're feeling... 

anyone know if I should take cyclogest or something afterwards?? - not been told to but did after my ICSI in Feb (BFN).  I'm not on any drugs for the FET and haven't really done anything except a scan and ovulation test... let's hope for sticky embies all round

xx


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## birdey (Jan 19, 2009)

good luck ladies for everything, be thinking of ya all

kirst x


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Hello.....

This 2nd week seems to be the hardest, am 11dpt and trying to stay   but finding it really hard not to think the worst. Had what feels like AF pains this morning but am attempting to ignore it and   that I make it to test date this time. Yesterday when I went to the toilet and wiped I had string brown discharge which is what I normally get before AF arrives but she is not due until Monday so was totally confused  . Had a big   as I am scared that I cannot cope with another BFN - I know that it can take more than 2 attempts and that I need to stay   just feels like there is something wrong with my body if it does not accept my embies back this time.

Sorry slipped right back to


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## LuuLuu (Jul 15, 2008)

Ladybella - could be implantation - that 2nd week is always worst.  Big     and loads of     for you.

And     too.


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Am pleased to say that FET really does work and I am 15+3   
Me and dh are off for a private scan tonight to make sure everything is going okay with the little one as it seems ages to wait from the 12 week scan to the 20 week one. Plus patience is has never been one of my strong points  


Luv to all 
Kelly
xxxxxx


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## xxx lisa xxx (Dec 1, 2008)

LadyBella said:


> Am pleased to say that FET really does work and I am 15+3
> Me and dh are off for a private scan tonight to make sure everything is going okay with the little one as it seems ages to wait from the 12 week scan to the 20 week one. Plus patience is has never been one of my strong points
> 
> Luv to all
> ...


fab news kelly   enjoy ur scan this eve  
as u can c we ad et 2day 
ad 2frosties but 1 sadly didnt make the thaw so just got 1 lil bean tight in me   
any help in wot u did in ur 2ww 2 get ur bfp  
wot 2 do or not 2 do 
really want this 2 work       
take care


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## LadyBella (Jan 6, 2008)

Hi Lisa, 

The only thing I did different from last time was to carry on as normal. Did not have any alcohol or do any heavy lifting but other than that I spent loads of time with friends and family, went out on trips, nights out etc. 

Good luck and keeping my fingers crossed for you xxxx


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## xxx lisa xxx (Dec 1, 2008)

thanks hun    
ill keep u posted   
feel gd n positive so far


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