# Not even started ICSI yet but scared to death!



## lainy bobbins (Jun 16, 2012)

I'm brand new to all this and desperately need some support!!  My DH had failed vasectomy reversal a year ago and next step for us is private ICSI at Liverpool Women's.  We've been told there is 40-50% success rate as there is no infertility as far as we're aware...so why am I so scared?!  I came off anti-depressants about 2 months ago which I am struggling with - quite tearful and sensitive.  The dr said I should probably get my BMI down (correct but I didn't want to hear it) to increase chances of success.  I am finding the whole thing so emotional and difficult and nothing has even begun yet.  Next step is for hubby to get tested and then me and he could possibly have SSR in August.    

Any advice from people who have been in my shoes?!  Hubby says I am so defensive and negative right now..when I should be excited that we could possibly have a BABY!!!!  I feel guilty that I am not as excited as I should be but is this normal?!?


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## Jennyloola (Aug 2, 2010)

Firstly hi and welcome!  

It's entirely normal what you are feeling - it is huge and it is a bit scary.  It's a lot to think about and deal with but I found that the anticipation of starting ICSI was actually worse than actually having treatment.  Once I was injecting myself and having my scans I had something to focus on day to day and felt like I was actually 'doing something' rather than waiting and getting anxious.

Don't ever think you 'should' feel a certain way.  Fertility treatment plays with your emotions and particularly if you have come off anti-depressent meds you shouldn't be expected to feel any certain way - all of your emotions are valid!

But do remember this.... whilst you are heading towards ICSI and it is huge and scary, you could also be starting on the road to getting your baby.  I hope and pray for you that you'll get there quickly and as smoothly as possible.  

Best wishes  
Jen
xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

and welcome to Fertility Friends   

I've included some forum boards that may help answer some of you questions   

*Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Complementary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*IVF Boards ~ *CLICK HERE

*Male Factors ~ *CLICK HERE

Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please shout!

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. CLICK HERE

We also have a chat room - which is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday.  A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works.

*Newbie chat ~ *CLICK HERE

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.
Good luck,

  

Tis xx


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## ElsW73 (Apr 13, 2012)

Hi
Just wanted to say good luck
It may be useful to see if the clinic has any counselling service available, or whether your gp could refer you
I had counselling before cycle 1 and it really helped me.
All the best, and be proud of the fact that you are taking control and doing something positive to help your dream of a family come true.


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## wibble-wobble (Apr 16, 2011)

Hi hun,

Sorry your feeling down right now it's pretty natural to have mixed emotions. I'm a patient at Liverpool women's and if you are interested they do have their own counsellors available. I think you have to have had a referral to the Hewitt Centre before you can use them, but I may be wrong.

If you want to, there is a thread set up for lwh patients quite a few of us post on there, some of us have started treatments others are waiting to get going. I'll leave you the link below

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=282502.0


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## lainy bobbins (Jun 16, 2012)

Thanks for the advice wibble wobble i will certainly look into counselling and it's good to know someone else being treated at the hewitt. 
Thanks for the positive comments it is nice to know we're not alone in this!!


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## Toffeegirl (Jan 26, 2012)

lainy bobbins

Hi,I was reading your post and I know I am a bit diffrent just wanted to say it is ok.

So I could have IVF I first had to lose weight I had a lot to lose so I had a gastric-by pass done,I also suffer with depression and am on medication which my doctor has told me will be fine to take during preg.

Hope this helps and Massive hugs

Toffeegirl


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## lainy bobbins (Jun 16, 2012)

Thanks toffee girl.i came of my meds and haven't taken them for about 2months and I'm determined not to go back on them! Im doing ok but some days are hard.  I had a colleague shout at me in work like an hour before my first appointment at the women's!! i was so upset and angry as she knew i had a hosp appoint but she didn't know what for...it could have been anything and as it was it was a very emotional day for me!  As for losing weight i have started the dukan diet.have lost weight well but then i have started thinking that maybe its not a good diet to be on if i am ttc? has anyone else got experiences of this diet?


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## Toffeegirl (Jan 26, 2012)

*lainy bobbins*

Weldone for going two months with out them there is no way I could I am like killing everything in sight after two days lol.

If you lose weight then it could help you conceive, as long as you eat the right things it should not be a worry,and drink lots of water I know everyone says it and it is hard but it really does work.

Toffeegirl


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