# At what point, donor eggs?



## ruby100 (Oct 25, 2015)

Hello all 

Well we're at a junction in our Fertility Journey.  We've had 1 ICSI and 2 IVF cycles including 2 FETS.  The first cycle less than a year ago was successful in that we got 4 blastocysts.  The one we transferred to our surro 'took' but devastatingly died at 9w2d.  The next 3 blastocysts haven't taken at all.  The other two IVF cycles I've not really produced hardly any mature eggs.  The last IVF cycle, we had zero fertilisation - out of 10 eggs!

I'm confused.  The consultant told us we could 'have another go with OE' OR we could opt to the practical and use DE.
I sought a 2nd opinion from Create in London and they said DE wouldn't enter their heads and recommended I kept going with OE.  
Reprofit at Czech republic are recommending DE at this point.

I don't know what to do.  I'm in two minds.  We've already spent so much money and so much emotion and it feels like our IVF cycles (egg quality) is getting worse and worse.  We don't know why - neither do the doctors.  

Does anyone have any advice or examples of when they made the decision to use DE or have one last go at OE??

Thanks in advance for your help

Ruby x


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## June2015 (Jun 20, 2015)

Hi Ruby

You've had a tough time of it, so here's a big hug  

For us, we made the decision quite quickly as it was obvious the problems we had were all egg quality.  My AMH at 38 years old was 1.5 which is very low. We went with create and did a three cycle package to get a few eggs, but after three EC only had three embryos.  (I only had one / two follicles per cycle). Anyway, after the ET and BFN I didn't want to continue down that route, for me it seemed a bit pointless and a further waste of money.  I'm sure create would have been more than happy for us to try again using my own eggs, but we decided no, enough was enough and moved to DE. 

If I were in your situation where they cannot seem to identify why fertilisation isn't great / implantation fail, I'd want to know if there are any further tests which can be carried out eg on sperm, re test your AMH/FSH etc.  Then I'd go from there. If all looked ok, I'd probably go for one last OE, before moving to DE. 

Good luck and I hope someone posts a reply that is more closely linked to your situation than mine xxx


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## Rio2016 (Aug 24, 2016)

Hi Ruby, I asked my husband that exact question this evening! 

We have had 3 unsuccessful cycles. I don't think I'm quite there yet for DE but have looked into the Donor Network workshops and had counselling with my OH to discuss it. If we were to go ahead I'd probably also talk to friends who have had donor embryos, donor sperm and donor eggs and now have lovely children. Good to talk to families for advice either in RL or on here.

It's such a tough process isn't it. I think it's good to be open to as many paths as possible. Right now more IVF feels 😣 but I know in a few months i'll be refreshed and ready for 💉💊💉. 

Good luck xx


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## ruby100 (Oct 25, 2015)

Thanks to both of you for sharing your views.  It's so touch as you both say.

June2015 - My AMH is about 25 not bad at 39!  But it's more a maturity issue - they just don't want to!  I understand why you did that package and then moved on.  I'm tempted to move on now. It just feels so fruitless. Can I ask have you been successful with DE?

Rio2016, arghh, I'm sorry you've had the same question tonight too.  I agree though many paths are good. . . . take care x

thanks xxxx


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## deblovescats (Jun 23, 2012)

Hi Ruby
It's a difficult decision and a personal one - there is no right or wrong answer. I was 45 when I decided to go for IVF as a single woman, I'd always hoped I'd meet someone to have a family with. I was advised that odds were low - 5% at my age, so DE would have better odds. I wish I'd been able to try OE, but I'm a practical person and with limited funds, didn't want to 'waste' my money as there's just me paying, on a futile attempt with low success rate. I had a fresh and a frozen cycle at one UK clinic, with double donation, both BFNs. Changed clinic and this time, I had a son from a fresh double donation cycle, who's nearly 3, and got 3 blasts to freeze. I had FET last year and my daughter is now 6 months. I feel very lucky. I also have 2 frozen blasts so am planning to try again later in the year. I think as I was lucky enough to get embryos to freeze from the cycle, it's also enabled me to try for a sibling and a FET is cheaper than a whole new cycle. I know some women find it hard to come to terms with the lack of a genetic link, and I did deliberate hard about this, but in the  end, I decided that I wanted the best chance of a healthy baby. I don't give it another thought now, they are just my beautiful children, who I love very much and who love me! I nourished and gave birth to them, and I'm the one who cares for them and cuddles them! 
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.


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## June2015 (Jun 20, 2015)

Hi Ruby,

Not a problem to ask at all.  When we did our DE cycle, we did freeze all straight away, as I have irregular periods so it was easier to do that, rather than try to sync our cycles.  Anyway, the first FET was negative (we put one embryo back). The 2nd FET was positive (we put two embryos back, had a scratch, used glue, lots of drugs!) I'm now very grateful to say I'm 30+4 weeks pregnant with a baby girl.
We used a donor via new life agency in London and Boston Place clinic.  We were very very lucky with our donor as we got 12 blasts, but we haven't​ done further testing on them so don't know the quaility of those blasts.

Even so, without our donor, I'd not be pregnant, so am very glad we switched as our end result was we wanted a family. 

Just ask if you need anything else,always happy to help others if I can 

XxX


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## odette (Nov 3, 2006)

I did DE after 2 IVF  free go's and one cycle aboard.  
Best decision I ever made - Eight years ago I was childless and now I have an 8 yr of and 5 yr old and they are perfect!!!


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## annasss (Feb 8, 2017)

To my mind, de ivf is not so bad as it seems to be. in any case you will be the one who will carry this baby. of course your genes won't be in this baby but frankly it's not so important. we were always dreaming about baby and when we were told that de ivf could work for us... without any hesitations we decided to give us a chance one more time 
So, after time of consideration we made up our minds and decided to go to ukraine.. 
will see what will happen next
how are you feeling right now?


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## Lilly08 (Jul 12, 2017)

Hi Ruby100,
Sorry to know that. My case is similar. I'm 47 years old and I was just diagnosed with secondary infertility. Egg quality is bad. And too risky to have IVF. Doctor didn't recommend it.
My only chance is going through surrogacy with egg donor. Planning to go abroad.. most likely to Ukraine. Surrogacy has a higher success rate.
I will keep you updated. Results are worth it. That keeps me motivated to keep on trying. We should never lose hope.
Did you make a decision? I'm sure you will have great news soon


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## annasss (Feb 8, 2017)

Hi Lilly 
have you already decided what clinic would you go for? Does your clinic offer egg donation services?
p.s. frankly, it's a wrong place to post about surrogacy. I don't want to offend you but ladies here write about egg donation. Probably you'll better look for a surrogacy section on this forum.


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## Lilly08 (Jul 12, 2017)

I haven't decide yet where to go. But I was told about the process and at a certain stage I'm supposed to choose from a donor egg database. 
Ruby100 was asking if anyone had any advice or examples of when they made the decision to use DE. That's why I just wanted to share my experience. 
Deciding to have baby from someone else's eggs is not an easy decision to make. But I had to go for that when I was confirmed poor egg quality.. My age is not helping. The only option is having a donor. My husband has not health issues so it is possible to have the eggs fertilized. As long as there is still a chance for me to have another child, I will try it.


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## FJG (Apr 22, 2016)

Good Morning,
Just found this thread following a failed OE IVF.
Due to age and most probably hard boiled eggs deep down I know that DE is really my only good option.
Ruby - what did you decide?  have you had success? did you cycle in UK or abroad?
Lilly - how about you? what did you decide?

x


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## Lilly08 (Jul 12, 2017)

Hi FJG, thanks for asking.
Last months were a bit overwhelming.
Finally we signed a contract with biotexcom two weeks ago. 
We chose a DE first. And we have just found a suitable surrogate mother. I guess we will begin with stimulation soon. 
What about you?
I haven't read you yet, I think. Maybe I did but I can't remember.. my mind has been absent too frequently in the last weeks


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## FJG (Apr 22, 2016)

Thanks for your reply Lilly08, I hadn't heard of biotexcom, just had a look at their website and was quite impressed. 
Wishing you all the best in your journey.
Been looking at a place in finland.  The one in prague is ok but getting to brno from Manchester is stressful!
Personally I think I am ready for donor eggs, at the end of the day I would like another baby, my DS is just turned 5 and desperate for a sibling, and I want to move on from this ( having had another baby ) given that I think DE is the only real option.  Although my hostile uterus seems to think otherwise!
DH however thinks we are not out and should try OE again, nice of him! but last round only got 6 eggs, 3 fertilized and 1 to day 5 the rest not viable for transfer and despite being 4AA didn't even get through 2ww, 5dp5dt AF all but came!  So not sure I could go through that again as it just delays things.


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## Lilly08 (Jul 12, 2017)

Thank you very much FJG. Wishing you the best too.
Sorry for all you went through. I know how you feel. Men sometimes don't get how painful all this is for us women TTC -specially emotionally. So take your time to recover. 
Have you thought of trying at another clinic? Not necessarily overseas. Each clinic has its own success rate.
Sending you good vibes x


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## ruby100 (Oct 25, 2015)

Hello, thanks for asking and sorry for the late reply. . . 

I've done another OE cycle and got a much better result - three good quality blastocysts!  Looking to a FET in 2 weeks.  But also OK with a decision to move to DE if these don't work.  It's really hard for me as the embryologist at my clinic says 'you look good on paper' - which we do - but still, it's not working.  

Lily - so glad you signed with Biotexcom.  I have looked long and hard at them too and I'm still not writing them out.  They are very much our backup plan.  All good luck in the world to you xx

FJG - how are you doing?  It is a big mindset change to get to.  I've been pondering it for about 2 years . . . take your time, don't rush.  See a fertility counsellor if you think it would help you.  Thinking of you xx


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## Lilly08 (Jul 12, 2017)

Hi ruby100! Thanks for your sweet words and wishes. We are happy.. finally we feel we are doing some steps. Things are going well so far  
Happy to know your update. Sending you the best vibes!
Good luck x


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