# Implantation failure



## katreekingsbury (Jul 30, 2011)

Hey ladies...

As u can see from my sig, my tx has been up and down with more lows then highs. 
I was confirmed that I'd had an implantation failure on my monday following a one off 10hour bleed on Friday. 
I've been feeling pretty crap as u can imagine, and today I've started bleeding again! 
I find this all so much to deal with. I'm either bleeding or I'm not? 
Has anyone else had on off bleeding where u can go a few days with nothing, then all of a sudden get those dreaded cramps, metal taste in ya mouth then.. Woosh.... The wicked witch arrives!!!!! 

I'm feeling really down & exhausted & even eating bags after bags of crisps, and bars after bars of chocolate doesn't make it better (it's made me feel ft as I've put on an almighty stone after being off work for 4weeks,sitting around for 3 of them and now the 4th I'm stuffing!) 

 please someone help me out of this hole! It's so crap to be here... And I really want it so bad! I'm so sad


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## Juls78 (May 2, 2009)

awww hun, wish i could offer some words of advice. 

Give yourself some time to grieve over this- it is such a horrile process.     

julsxx


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## katreekingsbury (Jul 30, 2011)

Thanks jules... This whole process is so draining and exhausting. 
I'm just hoping I get some mental and physical strength bk soon xxx


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## Kaybee (Nov 8, 2010)

Hi Katree. 
I didn't want to read and not reply. I am so sorry for your loss    
I know exactly where you are coming from by feeling though you are in a hole.. Eating bags and bags of crisps and bars of chocolate is just your way of escaping the pain. I buy packets of cigarettes - and that is far far worse!
I don't know how well you feel to go out and walk but if I were you, i'd try my absolute hardest tomorrow to get up, get a nice big bath, get some nice comfy shoes and clothes on,  and go for a nice long walk. Treat yourself to lunch, cappucino's and a big cream cake and do your thinking outside of those 4 walls.

Regarding the bleeding. m/c's are never the same for everyone. I bled for 13 days until big wooshes of blood for about 2 days. It was the most horrendous time of my life. I felt so alone.   I had hardly any pain at all, just great blood loss from which I passed whilst laying down! I should probably have been in hospital looking back.. 

Anyway, regardless of the weather tomorrow, get up , get ready and go out and treat yourself to anything you want. Look for the nice things in the world when you are out.

A big girly hug to you my dear


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## katreekingsbury (Jul 30, 2011)

Thank you for ur reply Kaybee... So kind of u to take the time to read and leave a message. 

I have got up today and dressed as iv gota have more bloods taken, so I'm out and about. This afternoon I'm planning in walking to high street to get some fresh air and have a look about. 
I don't know I'm finding it so difficult because I'm usually such a strong person... I think perhaps its because I put too much pressure on myself for this to work. 

Thanks again for ur support     to you and I pray   your immune testing helps for ur future treatment xxxxx


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## Greeniebop is a mummy (Jan 17, 2010)

Hi Katree,

I just wanted to say Hi.I got a BFN on test day but I had on off spotting and metal taste in mouth and then the cramps started but no AF just a BFN. Well AF has now been with me for 3 days and its been a horrific one just to add insult to injury. It is so damn hard and it creeps up on you but it does get more manageable and today I took the first steps to getting 'my life' back so I went to the gym and do you know what I feel a little bit better about myself. I could still cry at the drop of a hat but someone once said to me that crying is healing so to let it out.

I really hope that you take some time and be kind to yourself, we all try to go through this treatment with PMA and then if it doesn't work it feels like our world has collapsed around us but time is a great healer. If you ever need to chat I am here.

Take care honey, I didn't want to just read and run

Greenie xxx


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## katreekingsbury (Jul 30, 2011)

Hi Greenie. Im so sorry to hear about ur BFN.      to u and DH. well done for getting out yo the gym!! I usually do an hour of walking a day (in my general day to day life) so I really need to get exercise bk into my days as it makes me feel good. I think as I'm signed off work for recovery til becoming of September, my routine is gone to pot! I'm going to make an effort to do an hours exercise on the WII for the nxt two weeks to help with some positive feelings before I go bk to work. 
The thought if returning to work is making me feel soo sick. My DH has said I can write a letter to my employer and ask if I can change my contract to part time to help with my healing, and stress levels ready for nxt time round. I'm going to do the letter tomo & send it but my stomach is going over as my employer is not the most understanding women in the world, & some say shes heartless!
Got nothing to loose thou... If she says no, then it's no and I'll have to get on with it. It's just extra worry on my mind that I could do without right now. 

I envy u how u seen to cope and how strong u sound. I need to snap out of it!! I think I'm doing well then I crash! 

Men have no idea what its like to be us!!   xxxxx


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