# 8th Icsi and i'm scared i need help



## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

Hello i'm Blondie i am very lucky to have a 3 year old, however i just don't feel finished. I have a blood disorder and they found out at go 4 after i had lost another baby. On go 5 i had our little girl whilst injecting everyday with clexane and having an aspirin too. so go 6 they told me to take my drugs too early so i bleed internally after egg collection and it caused a blood clot and we spent 2 weeks in hospital very ill and i had a mm/c due to drugs! Then we started go 7 and got lucky until 10 weeks and we lost it due to blood again they think (they are testing the product of conception and we should get results in a few weeks) My dilemma is we are going to go for more goes after i have lost some weight and seen a blood specialist, i figure that if i lose weight i may up my chances of having some embryos to freeze. in my head i will keep going until i get what i want, how many goes would you guys have?


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I can only talk for myself I am afraid, so you have to do what you feel is right.

I have a son through my first IVF and at the start we agreed that we would only have 3 cycles and then look in to adoption.  We are TTC No. 2 and we have 3 frozen embies and then if they fail then we will have one fresh cycle then that is it.

We are comfortable financially and I am able to be a stay at home Mum.  To have unlimited goes at IVF is not an option financially for us, as this would mean getting in to debt and then I would have to go back to work.  Personally I don't feel that it is fair on the child that we do have.  He deserves a happy and content Mum and not a Mum unhappy, stressed and up and down all the time due to failed IVF's.  I don't want him to grow up and think that he wasn't enough for us and that we weren't happy with just him.  

I do think at some point for your own sanity that you need to reach closure, but again there would be many people that like you who will just keep going.  Sometimes it breaks people financially and mentally and breaks up marriages.  So at the end of the day, you have to think is the desire for another child worth it all?  

My friend has had 6 IVF's and still no baby and she is stopping now.  I really think that you are lucky, as you do have a daughter and there are many women who will never get the joy of holding there own baby.

Good luck.
x


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## Mrs E xx (May 22, 2011)

HEY HUN,
id like to just say i think you're an incredibly strong lady and to have 8 cycles of IVF/ICSI is amazing.

i personally would keep going, if it meant being in debt then so be it, i want it almost as much as i need air to breathe. however i think i only feel this because i don't have children YET. i'm not sure how i would feel if i already had a daughter/son. but you cant change the way you feel, and if you feel that another child is what you want and need then go for it!!!

hope that helps 
love stacey xx


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I forgot to add, that I am desperate for No.2 and still put all baby stuff up in the loft and if the time comes when we have reached the end of the road, I will most probably need some type of counselling/support and know that deep down the desire will always be there for No. 2.

However I will have to count my blessings.  A wonderful son, a fantastic husband and we are all healthy.  There are people far worse of then me.

Good luck again. 

Stacey
x


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## natalie34 (Jun 7, 2004)

Hi Blondie,


I am in a similar situation to you.  We've had 7 ICSI's since 2004, numerous other treatments and 2 mmc's.  Like you we have been blessed with a daughter to which I am eternally grateful for everyday but I cannot stop the wanting and desperation for another child.  My main issue is age.  I was 38 when I had Tilly.  I'm now 41 and in the past 12 months have had one ICSI, one FET and one IUI - all BFNs.


For me personally and it's just how I feel, I'm just not ready to give up quite yet.  I cannot answer your question in how many goes would I have.  All I hope is that we will get lucky before we are told to give up, or either my DH or me say enough is enough.  We have had a pact from about our 4th ICSI that as soon as one of us feels we cannot continue we would agree to stop.  


It's such a difficult decision to make as you already know what an emotional roller coaster it is.  I think in your heart of hearts you will know what the right decision will be whether that be to continue or to stop and I wish you lots of luck making that difficult decision.  Maybe perhaps give yourselves 6 months to talk through and think about what you want to do.  Perhaps have a holiday if you can and try and take your mind off these decisions and may be that will help you decide.


Good luck!


Natalie x


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## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

Thank you so much for taking the time to email me regarding this if i can explain further.

We are not in any debt, we have a big house that is in need of renovation but is safe and livable. My DH has other children from his first marriage and would be happy to stick at just the one. He did however know i wanted 3 so after we got pregnant with Scarlett after my diagnosis and the drugs worked we just assumed that we could have more. I didn't feel i savored it enough. too busy worrying as a first time mummy that i was doing it right! She has so far turned out to be the most wonderful little girl ever. Her fault as well i want another because we are such a good team her and i. I am a full time mummy just working one day a week with my DH. I think because i can get pregnant 5 out of 7 goes so far i am going to keep going they just need to sort my drugs so i keep them. or my sister is going to be a surrogate she tells me! with our embryos i add. I will say i am a positive parent and love everyday with her so i don't let her know my longing for another baby, 

If you want something go for it. 

I worry about what the drugs we take could do to us in the future (the icsi drugs) i am mentally fine with going a hundred times for icsi. i want 2 more babies lol xxxxxxx

Natalie go for it don't give up and tilly what a wonderful name, my thought are with you and hopefuly we will be comparing bellies soon

Stacey i keep my fingers crossed for you with your frosties, thank you four words xxxx



go for you dreams girls xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Catb33 (Aug 1, 2006)

Blondie -        so sorry to hear your news. 


I think as Natalie says, you know when you're ready to stop. Despite all our failures I've never quite given up that hope so have taken every opportunity we were presented with, and probably still will should we get to the stage where we can afford deivf.


Take care


Cathie x


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## Juls78 (May 2, 2009)

Blondie- sending big     your way. 

It is a difficult situation to be in and i can anly imagine your pain. I am lucky enoughto be pregnant with number 1 after 4 cycles of treatment and i only hope i will be happy with 1 precious bubba. I suspect that in a couple of years the yearning will be there again, but for us it will not be feasable. I only hope hope i will know to stop. 

tbh i don't know if my body will take another tx and pregnancy- as much as i am trying to love every moment of this, i am finding it extremely stressful- all the waiting!! 

Anyway- i am going off the point a bit!! i am going to move this thread to hoping for another miracle areas as i am sure ladies there will understand your pain and will give you the support you need!

Lots of love

julsxx


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## babycrazy (Mar 17, 2006)

Blondie
I am so sorry you have had to endure so much heart ache, to get your DD and since for a sibling for her.

Want to ask you if you have been referred to a Recurrant Miscarriage clinic, I know you have clotting issues but was this found by your Fert Clinic or a RC MC clinic, I mean a proper MC clinic not a Gyny at your local HSP. Have you considered immune testing as you have one immune problem you may have others which is not unusual. You could read Dr Beers book or go on immune threads and study AGATES Immune FAQs sheet. I would suggest you do a bit of research into these things before you have any more TX.
Also Have you read my post on here about Thyroid issues and the importance of having it done and looking at the results.
If not go to my profile click on recent post and there you will see how obsessed and    I am about it
Angel Blessings
XX
BC


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## Kuki2010 (Oct 22, 2009)

Blondie,
I am about to start my 7th. I want like you at least 3 children. We do have money problems as I used to earn double my husband earnings but gave it all up to stay with my DD. And loving every single minute. I wish I could have one more now and stop all the treatments. As I am so very tired from it all mentally. 

After our 6th fail. I did went to Dr. Gorgy for immune testing. Still waiting for all results. We have got some already which shows why I am m/cing and why my really good embies are not implanting. Please like Babycrazy says read up on immunes.. There are so many increadible treatments you can do for you babies to stay with you. You can do this. And yes I can imagine how much pain you have gone through but I totally understand the huge desire to have a child. I am exhausted with it all but I know if I rest a bit I will still be ready to try for some more and I got to be honest if money was not question. I would try till I am 45 as many as treatments I can..

Our 7th will be 2 not great quality frozen embies with all the meds DR. Grogy will tell us to have. And do another fresh cycle after FET with all the meds again this year. And Another cycle probably in next year. And finally stoping at when my DD starts school in Sep 2012. Will search for my job and go back to work in 2013. 

And I think I might do some more trying after that..Not sure at the mo..

You go for it after looking into immunes etc.. Get the best meds before you try.. And have your darling kids.

Lots and lots of luck.
Love. Kukixxx


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## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

Hello and thank you to you all for your support and words. We have an appointment for our blood tomorrow at st thomas hosptial in london so fingers crossed and we have booked to go back to the clinic in july. Don't give up never give up x


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## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

Hello to all we went to see a professor on Monday and she said i should be on 60mg of clexane so fingers crossed for next time xxxx


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## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

I'm confused now and really upset the consultant has called and she has said that they can't find my blood disorder from the bloods they did on monday! can  our clinic get it wrong and i'm losing babies for another reason x


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## babycrazy (Mar 17, 2006)

Hi Blondie
When your disorder was diagnosed how long after your MC was the bloods taken.?
I say this as Lesley Regan told me that some women don't have the blood clotting issues until they get PG._ I had no sign of any issues when tested, but she told me to get tested s soon as_ i got a BFP. I never did get tested as my DH got a new job and we never had Health insurance so could not have the test done, fortunately i carried my next PG to term on only aspirin, any way it turned out that my MC & Sec IF problems and my DD & DS with difficulties,( DS defiantly DD ?) were down to my Thyroid being underactive.
All MC clinics should know about the 2 test needed as Lesly Regan is a pioneer in MC and has wrote a book of which she has wrote about this, I would have thought her word should have filtered into the system by now some 16yrs since.
Angel Blessings
XX
BC


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## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

Baby Crazy sorry i haven't emailed back till now i have been in london with my family! Turns out that the consultant i spoke to has confirmed that sometimes when you test it doesn't show up and she is happy to treat me for now (once i have a possitive pregnancy through isci confirmed) so hoepfuly we will have that in the next 2 months xxxx

will keep you posted many thanks and may i say what a lovely photgraph x


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## babycrazy (Mar 17, 2006)

Hi
In mean time please take aspirin up till you get your BFP and until your Con treats you, just in-case, Its normal protocol abroad to take aspirin before ET.
Angel Blessings on your Journey to motherhood! 
XX
BC

Please note, Fertility Friends does not endorse any type of self medication/DIY drugs administering. We ask you to seek advice from your GP/clinic on any aspects when self administering drugs of this nature without professional medical supervision/approval.


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