# IUI With Vaginismus Part 16



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home ladies x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie I know you wont read this Annie but hope your managed to see your friends and all was ok with the jelly bean.
Fab news about extension, will it be finished for when baby arrives?

Polly everything you said about starting own business I was thinking already! but nice to hear it form someone who knows. When I first did my nursery nurse Diploma in was my dream to open my own nursery so hope I will do it in the future but you never know my dreams may change when baby Taylor arrives. I defiantly don't know enough to do it yet but hoping to learn loads from where I am now, although I am deputy the manager is the owner and so never there so in effect I am managering the place so should get a fair bit of experience.
You right to at the moment I defiantly need to be some where with maternity rights even if there not that great  

Emma will you get an allotment when you move? Having stew tonight and its been cooking on low all day smells yummy

Still no AF pains as yet  had some discharge this morning which could indicate AF but not as much as usual. Still coming over nauseous at around 4-5pm some afternoons didn't happen yesterday so maybe I think about it to much at work  although I am not aware that I am, to early for m/s anyway I don't know why I am being so stupid and getting my hopes up it wont be good news how can it be we only had bms ONCE

Claire, hope your evening with dilators goes well your doing really well I hope you rewarding yourself for all your efforts.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Once might be all it takes.
You're turning into a real old Delia Smith now, aren't you. I love hearing what you're eating each day; I guess I'm just nosey. 

I hope to get an allotment when I move, but it depends on how things work out. I'm going to wait until this time next year, then I can clear it at my leisure (they always come with waist-high weeds) and be ready to plant things in spring 2007! I don't think I'll have the time or energy to cope with one in the coming spring. I'd miss growing vegetables though. My new garden is bigger than the present one, but still not really big enough for a proper veg patch. I _really_ miss gardening. I don't have the energy at the moment, and there seems no point really in a garden I'm (hopefully) about to leave.
Actually, having said that, I've started to feel a lot more like me again in the past few days.

Polly - hope things went OK at work today. When are you basting again? Do you have to see the consultant again beforehand?

Annie, Claire - I know you won't be reading this but hello anyway.

Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi,

I am running out of things to cook now though thats the only problem not really good in the kitchen!

Starting to have that familia feeling in tummy  

Donna xx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Dilators - didn't do it last night, was really fed up.  Had argument with bf, work was rubbish and felt really tired.  So I just couldn't face that as well, ended up going to bed at 9pm to escape from the world.  Now I'm busy next 2 nights so can't do it then.  Well fed up!

Hope everyone else is ok.

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

Claire - Sorry you had words with BF. Is everything alright now? Did he send you a huge bouquet of flowers this morning to apologise or is that a fantasy for you as well as me 
Don't feel bad that you didn't have a go with the dilators last night. You were right not to have a go if you weren't feeling in the right frame of mind. There's plenty more evenings coming up when you can get some practice in. 

Polly/Donna - Are you alright today?

Emma - Did DH make it home?

Confession: didn't go across the road to see Midwife. Went to the pub with friends instead for a nice glass of water


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Dh did come home last night (a little worse for wear  ) and has been here today, hogging the computer. He claims to be working from home, but whenever I've popped into the room it looks more like computer games.
He is worried that the new job was a mistake, and is in a bit of a state over what to do now. If it isn't the right job for him, then we don't really want to buy a house up north. All the other places he could work are in London. But both sets of parents would be so disappointed if we didn't move. All a bit of a nightmare. I'm hoping he'll find his feet next week. Afterall, he was only actually in the office for one day this week - a little early to write the place off.

Claire - sorry you had words with bf. Hope you sort it out and are on speaking terms for your bonfire party. Don't beat yourself up over the dilators. It is far better to use them when you are in the right frame of mind.

Donna - hope you find something to cook. I'm having roast chicken tonight - yum, yum.

Annie, Polly - how are things?

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. 

Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I was waiting/expecting to be chastised about not going to the Midwife again in favour of going to the pub! Maybe I snuck my comment in so sly this morning that you didn't notice?

Yipee!

I'm sure as you said that your DH just needs to settle in to his new job. It took my DH a while to feel happy when he got relocated but now you'd never know!

We're off to spend the evening with friends. Take away and a good old game of cards. Perfect Friday evening.

Have a good one everyone. I won't be able to talk to you all til Monday now  

Don't go doing anything spectacular without me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

No bouquet, no!  Seems ok now but don't think we really resolved the root of the problem.  I think it's a 'men are from mars, women are from venus' thing.

Hope you all have a good weekend.  Am unlikely to log on until Monday.

Claire x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Claire, hope everything is ok with you and bf, and that you have a good weekend. Same to you, Annie.

Emma, I am going for my scan on Monday with a view (we think) of basting on Thursday.  Both times we have gone for day 12, so assuming the same, then it will be Thursday. I always seems to be whatever day I book a reflexology appt as well (!) so I need to sort that out. Don't think I am seeing the consultant, although the nurse is going to ask him about our tx.

I'm sure that DH will settle into his job, but if he really hates it, then didn't you say that his old firm would have him back? And you haven't actually moved yet... What is it that makes him concerned about it?

Donna, you are beginning to sound as much of a domestic goddess as Emma! You put me to shame.  

Anyway, I feel quite knackered this evening, so I'm off to slob in front of the telly.

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening everyone,

so glad its the weekend! DH isn't working tommorrow which is really nice as we have whole weekend together with not much planned but could have done with extra money but never mind.

Claire don't worry about dilators the odd blip wont hurt you at all. have a good weekend.

Annie night out is just as good as going to see midwife friends because hopefully you were relaxed. have a nice weekend.

Emma is it just DH having cold feet? its horrible when you start a new job and it a time when you really question your own ability (or maybe thats just me) I am sure he will settle in in no time.

Polly I'm with you on the slobbing out infront of tv idea! having and idian take-away thing from asda tonigh from there delli counter thing so not very healthy but been good all week and it is friday!

No AF pains or cramps AS YET! but tummy still feels like they will grab me any second!
Face is having the worst breack out it as every had! usually I get 1 0r 2 big spots and some little ones which I have pretty much all the time but so far I have 6 big ones! even DH commented on how bad my skin is!
Not much discharge as yet either, only had a little so far and its not as think as usally but guess there is time for that

Still no idea what to think, just hoping for the best. I know ti is going to drive me mad this weekend 

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Hope you all have a nice weekend planned?

I don't have anything planned but MUST do some college work!

Off out now to get a few bits at the shopes - oh and a fry up in our local cafe! Healthy eating doesn't count at weekends does it?  

Feel likt AF is going to appear at any moment although I haven't had any painfull craps as yet just a dull ache on and off.

Catch you all later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Polly - I can't believe it is almost time for you to start it all again. Is dh nervous?
I don't feel like a domestic goddess at all now. I haven't baked anything for weeks, mainly because i have really gone off sweet stuff.

Donna - when is af due (you don't have a ticker anymore)? Glad I'm not the only one with spots - I've got 4 horrors! I hope you get some time to relax outside of your college work.

I am mentally exhausted today. Dh and I have had 24 hours of intense talking and soul-searching (and next to no sleep). The upshot is that he is going back to his old job.  All the hideous people have left and his old boss has been begging him to reconsider. He just knows that the new job was a mistake, and it is better to get out now before we've bought a house etc. 
We are still going to sell this house. We'll have to put our stuff into storage and go and stay with MIL until we can move into somewhere new here. I have to start househunting again (that bit is far better than selling though). It is quite a relief actually. Although I was looking forward to being near family, I like living down here and think it is a far better place to bring up children (better schools etc).
When I finally did fall asleep last night (well, 7ish this morning) I dreamt that I had a miscarriage. It was one of those dreams that seems really real, and I woke up in a terrible panic. 

Polly - at some point I might interrogate you (perhaps on yahoo) about villages in your area. I like those small villages, but have concerns about the airport expansion.
Talking of Yahoo, I can't work out how to get back onto it. I click on the messenger symbol, then it asks me to sign in, and nothing really happens. 

Emma, xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma! WoW! What changes!

Do you HAVE to sell your house now, or is it just that you want to, and you'd rather do with the buyer you have than try again in a few months? Do you need something more spacious anyway? Will DH get a payrise for going back? (nosey!) Will it be OK living with MIL, and how long for. Will you still be able to talk to us from her house? She lives nearish you anyway, doesn't she?

As far as living round here, it's pretty clear which villages are going to be affected by the airport expansion, as they have big posters up complaining about it. There are lots of nice places that don't seem to feel that it's a problem for them. Happy to chat about it further.

I'm a bit baffled about your Yahoo. If we can sort it out, it might make sense to set it to automatically sign in when you are on the internet. You can then become invisible if you don't want people to see you and start chatting. Maybe you could just reinstall from the beginning, and see if that helps?

Donna, still keeping my fingers crossed for you. But honey, if it isn't your month again, don't get too despondent, please. And don't stay away (I know I'm one to talk!) BTW I think you are right, if you eat healthily 5 days a week, you can let yourself off a bit at weekends. It's about balance and moderation!

The thing about IUI, and other treatments too I suppose, is that once you are disappointed, it is a fairly full couple of weeks, with af, scans, doing a couple of things that you can now do, having a treat etc, especially as like I say, I'm likely to be basted on day 12. Then all the activity stops for the next two weeks, and you want to be careful, and you're waiting, so they seem longer. Come to think of it, it doesn't really matter about whether you are having treatment or not, the first two weeks are much more bearable and shorter than the second two.

Dunno about DH being nervous, but this morning he told me that he had a dream about us having a baby. This is by way of a miracle, as he NEVER remembers dreams, and claims that he doesn't have them. The last time he had a dream that he remembered was about 5 years ago. He also got quite upset last week when we were talking about "fred". All this is quite important to me, because although he always says he is happy about us having a baby, I always feel that it is more about *me* having one than *us*. There are all sorts of reasons why I think that, even though he always says it's not true, but it's good to see that even his subconcious wants it. (Actually, i assume that it was a _good_ dream about the baby!!! )

Anyway, off to do household accounts,  (which means that I will be online and ready to chat! )

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Emma you sound really excited a whole lot more relaxed so I think its fantastic news! I echo all the same questions that polly asked, we are nosey aren't we   I know annie will ask them too!
I am sure you will find the perfect house soon especially as the pressure is off now and tis so much fun house hunting! well not if your homeless of course but you know what I mean  

Had a few minor cramps today and only really felt them cause its on my mind if that makes sense 
Polly, you made it sound like you don't think it has worked this month for me, I know you didn't mean it like that and I will try not to get to down about it 
If it hasn't worked then I'll be taking my temp which is something different I haven't done before so may take mind off things slightly.

First 2 weeks are def more exciting and go much much faster, last few days have gone on forever.

Emma, AF is due tommorrow/monday not sure exactly which day I ovulated still really really hoping    

Anyway must get back to college work

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again, I will try to answer all your questions. 

We don't _have_ to sell this house now, but we want to. We have a buyer in place and wouldn't want to go through the hell of selling all over again a few months down the line. It is a nice house, but better for a couple than a family. It only has 2 bedrooms (one of which we use as an office, although it has got a bed in it too) and no off-road parking, plus our neighbours are too noisy. Actually they've been eerily quiet for the past 3 weeks, but seem to be back on form today.

Dh won't be paid more than before, but he would have been paid less in the new job. This means that we can get a bigger mortgage (buy a more expensive house) although obviously your money doesn't go so far in this part of the world. We will not be buying a house for life, but somewhere that will be fine until dh becomes a partner (no pressure on him then ).

We will go to MIL in late Nov/early December, for as long as it takes. Hopefully we can buy somewhere that is chain-free and hurry things through. She lives in Herefordshire, so not very convenient for London, but has a huge house with plenty of room for us and the dogs to rattle round and not get in her way. Dh will either work out his notice in Manchester and come to MILs at the weekends, or take a few weeks off work, or start work back at his old firm and stay with SIL or friends somewhere. That bit of the plan has yet to be finalised.

I will be taking the PC with me and install it in the bedroom so that I can continue to chat to you all.  it looks like I'll also have a lot of editing work to do over the next few months, so hopefully I won't get too bored.

Polly - I will reinstall yahoo. I think the problem comes with my broadband connection. Although I have a yahoo name and password, when I try to log in it overrides it with my 'normal' email address and password.

I am very excited about your dream. I wonder what it means? Fred is a very good name by the way; the dog in my avatar picture is a Fred (that might put you off it). 
I think men feel so responsible when ttc attempts don't work out, for not providing good enough  My dh did, at least. He knew that I'd been checked out and effectively given the all clear, so felt it was all his fault, and that it made him less of a man, although he'd never come right out and say it.

Donna - hope af stays away. I'm trying not to say everything will be OK for you, for fear that it makes things seem worse if, god forbid, it isn't your month. I'm still thinking positive thoughts on your behalf though.   
Did you get your college work done?

Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma, does that mean that you still won't live with DH until you buy a new house? Is MIL too far from the station?

I can see why you are going with the current buyer, then. 

If you think that you will have time to do yahoo when I am around, I am quite happy to get into the chat room here, and talk you through it. It might be easier to describe exactly what you see while you are actually seeing it, if you see what I mean.

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Just don't know if I will be living with dh or not. MIL is too far from London  - about 3.5 hours by train I think. About the same to drive.

If we can find a house that we can move into by the new year, dh will just take some time off work and stay with MIL with me until then. After all, we won't have a mortgage to pay.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oh, yes, I see now. It sounds as though the old job will be a bit flexible with him then, if he wants the time off? That's pretty good! Sounds like they are worth going back to!

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, Everything sounds really fantastic for you and DH. I love it when a plan comes together.

Forgot to say earlier skin is so so so bad this month (think I havementioned that bit!) anyway it is really get worse each day I am sure so took drastic action, I went to chemist and got some ACNE cream - ok maybe not that drastic! Not happy about it but need it sorted. Mad sure I got one that was safe to use in pregnancy and ttc just incase! Pharmasist was quick to inform me that my skin could be like this, if its not usually like this becuase I am pregnant!  

No didn't get a huge amount of college work done started looking at pregnancy symptom web sites instead


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - stay away from those websites.  They are very bad for you!

I've spent the afternoon on rightmove trying to find dream house number 2, and am thoroughly fed-up.  Same old story - right house, wrong location. I have to walk away and come back to it tomorrow when I'm less tired and grumpy.

Dh is willing to compromise on off-road parking, and I'm not. He only drives once in a blue moon, so doesn't understand!

Got to go. I'm too tired to make any sense, and must stop going on about myself. Sorry.

Enjoy the fireworks,
Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - having to park on the road and deal with baby and shopping is not a good idea in most locations. I can see how our next door neighbour struggled when her baby was small, and it's even more of a nightmare now she is toddling. I don't want to make you more grumpy  , but I'm on your side about that.

love 

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I dont have off-road parking but it is definatly much easier unless you live in a really really quiet street like a cul-de-sac

I'm with you to, I am sure DH will back down  

Starting with the knicker checking now!
feel quite poorly at the moment feel very bloated and have pains in tummy like trapped wind feels very uncomfortable  

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all me again ,

Just checked diary and think I may be on day 27 of a 30/31day cycle not day 28/29 like I thought   so have no clue what to think now! only that I am going to have to wait longer.
could explain lack of AF symptoms though - although I do usually still have them now so who knows 

Oh I just want to know and don't want the disappointment again.

Night night

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna - sounds like your body is putting you through hell at the moment. Try to stay positive.    I hope af hasn't appeared over night.

Polly - how are you? Are you getting excited and/or nervous about this week? I hope you've manged to have a good rest this weekend.

I am feeling much more positive today. I was just too tired to think rationally yesterday. I will have a week of viewing every house in our budget in the area and reach a decision before the week is out. I have the joy of telling my parents that we aren't miving up north after all later. Not looking forward to that. 

Have a lovely (if wet) Sunday.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning,

Just got up to do some college work and left DH in bed.

Put some toast on and it burnt   its gonna be one of those days

No AF yet but have so cramps on and of and I think they are getting worse so looks like it wasn't ment to be AGAIN  

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi again,

Just munched my way through a Galaxy fruit and nut and feel much better now  
And cramps have stopped only had a couple so who knows eh guess I should try and stay positive    its hard though 

Hope you are all having a nice sunday?

Emma, how is house hunting going? 

Polly, hw are you and DH feeling about round 2? see if you can find out measurements tommorrow - if you want to that is, sorry I am soooo nosey just find things like that interesting I always wanted to know mine! but sometimes knowledge isn't the best thing so its up to you.

Hope your both online later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna,

Can't stop long. Dh is cooking lunch. I feel really sick this morning and am not sure I can do it justice, but he's gone to so much trouble. I though the m/s had finished but it seems not.

Glad you're feeling a bit better and less crampy. Keep eating fruit and nut - perhaps it has magic powers.

I've found some houses to look at tomorrow, so I'm feeling a lot happier about all that.

Got to take dh to the station later so he can go back up to Manchester.  I have to drive to Watford which scares the hell out of me. It is somewhere I avoid like the plague, and whenever I do have to go I make dh drive, but now I have to learn the route so that I can collect him again on Friday.

I should be able to pop back this evening to chat. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

Whats DH cooking for lunch?

My DH is cooking lunch too, well it was ment to be dinner but we are both so so hungry so are having it now! Sweet and Sour chicken yummy with hes own special fried rice um um 

There are places I hate driving to to but have to say I don't know your neck of the woods, I hate driving in london though I always get the train.

Glad you have found some houses, its exciting looking at houses isn't it? atleast you have the time now to find the perfect one I know you said it isn't going to be a house for life but I am assuming it will be your family home for a few years so you want to be happy with it. Are you going for 3 bedroms or more?
We have 2 bedrooms at the moment I would love to buy a house but simply cant afford it! If we were to buy we would have to buy a 1 bedroom flat but if we rent we can get a medium sized 2 bedroom house so no choice really in my eyes! plus we don't have to worry about boiler breaking or anything as it would get fixed for us. Maybe we will buy one day though.

Ment ot be doing some more college work as need it all finished by next weekend as go to next study day on saturday (where I'll get my next assignments!) just can never seem to get started. and I hate leaving things to hate last minute!
will try to get some done later though  

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Just spent half hour scrolling through pages and pages of ask a nurse trying to read peoples stories of pregnancy signs and people who had AF pains but went on to haev a BFP

I know I shouldn't be but its driving me mad 

Tummy isn't cramping but have feelings there but I think I am getting low mild back ache but then guess that good be from sitiing at computer 

Donna


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi just thought I'd talk to myself some more  

Emma, I hope you get back safely from watford

Polly, hows your weekend?

Claire and Annie I hope you have had nice weekends to.

So far I have done NO college work   had A very lazy sunday! done some bits for work though so thats 1 thing I guess!
Have to finish college stuff in the week which will be impossible when working 8-6! alwasy wednesday afternoon I gues! - why do I do it to myself!

still no AF  

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Just got to take pity on you Donna! I recognise that mood of not wanting to really get down to anything! Maybe you should give yourself a break and just give in to the mood of being lazy?

I'm still struggling with household accounts, I've made a booboo somewhere, and just want to see where. I should crack it in the next hour, and if I don't, that's me done for the day!

Keep positive  . BTW, what made you decide you were on a longer cycle this month? And if so, where did the bms fall in the cycle?

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I'm safely back from Watford in one piece.   I'd psyched myself up to phone my parents upon return and they are out. Don't you just hate that. Spoke to my brother who thinks they'll be very disappointed. Oh dear.
They hate this part of the world and won't travel on motorways, so for them I might as well be living on Mars. 

Donna - you will drive yourself crazy checking out all those old posts. 
If you're not in the mood for college work then leave well alone. It sounds like you could do with the break.

Dh cooked beef rendang - very nice but I really wasn't in the mood. There's lots of leftovers I can eat tomorrow if I feel better. I think it might not be m/s after all, but a bad reaction to something I ate yesterday.We had a fish pie which was very nice, but with a rather rich sauce, so perhps it was too much for my stomach at the moment.

We are looking for a 3 bedroom house (main bedroom, baby room, guest room). 4 would be great, but far too expensive. You are right about renting though. When things go wrong with houses it is great to have someone else sort it out.

Polly - hope you sorted oput the accounts.
I think I've sussed the yahoo problem; it was me being very dim and forgetting to open the sidebar. 

Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Polly,

Just making myself a cd then I am off for a relaxing bath.

wasn't sure if AF was due today or monday but when I checked diary day 30 is monday and day 31 is tuesday   obviously miss counted or maybe I didn't come last month when I thought I did as I didn't record it! I remember having cramps on my first day at work but can't remember if I af arrived then or not but pretty sure it did!

Bms was timed well either way either on day of ovulation or day before so ok on that front!

Donna xx

Glad you back in one peice, now you've sorted yahoo maybe we can all chat later


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Again,

Its ok I'll be at work tommorrow so wont be arounf bugging you all alday! 

Polly how are accounts going?

Just looked at HPT online but DH said no  guess he is right though should wait and see.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Just solved the problem! 

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

well done


Donna xx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Emma, how exciting, I "love" house hunting!  Don't know about airport expansion and the villages but I must live about 6 miles from the airport (northern edge of Luton) and although planes do go over I rarely hear them.  Which is just as well as I have an intense fear of planes/flying - flying to Switzerland for the day on 10th Dec and am already panicking!!

Donna, hope there are no signs of af.

Polly, I'm sure this is a ridiculous question, but what is 'basting'?

Haven't had a chance with the dilators all weekend, so feeling annoyed with myself.  Talked to bf about his participating which he was all for, although understands that handing over control will be difficult, so he can either use his finger(s) or #1 only.  At least for now.  All is now fine on that front, we've had a long talk and I even got flowers in the end, which was a great result!

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone

Sorry, can't stop for long today. Got a heck of a day lined up here at work. I'm feeling very emotional today and think I am in need to bloomin good cry. 

I'm really nervous about my scan on Friday, my best friend got married in Las Vegas on Saturday and I forgot to try and phone and wish her well, other friends have told me today that they got through and listening to the chat they had with her has made me really sad and jealous. I can't even see her pictures she posted on her website because work doesn't allow access and my p.c is still at the knackers yard. I haven't slept properly for ages and I am really tired today and it's all a bit too much this morning!!! I'm laughing at myself for the state I'm getting into. Daft old bat.

Emma - I'm sure that dream house is there, you just have to go through the frustration of hunting it down. Remember that pictures on a website are only pictures. Go and have a good nosey round and get a real feel for these places. So we're both going to experience living with the Out Laws then! Although at the moment my family are all fighting over who we go to stay with! Paying to stay in a hotel is looking mighty appealing.

Polly - I'm really exicted for you that we're nearing the next go. I had a dream about you over the weekend and you fell pregnant on this go. I'm not aware that I have psycic powers, but I'm hoping it was a premonition! Best of luck this week x

Donna - I don't want to say to much for fear of jinxing anything, but you know my love, hope, positive vibes and support is with you right now.

Claire - You genius! Flowers, an aplogy aswell as assistance with the dilators. I take my hat off to you my girl. That's great work!

Right, signing off for now. Might be able to squeeze a break this arvo to pop back.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning all,

I am feeling much, much better today.  I think I must have had food poisoning or something yesterday. I slept for 10 hours last night, and feel great for it. I'm beginning to realise that I sleep much better when dh is away.  i had the strangest dream last night - I gave birth to an afro-carribbean baby and its first word was 'television'. 

I was supposed to look at 3 houses this morning, but actually have only seen 1 (awkward vendors). It wasn't on my shortlist but is just round the corner and the agent persuaded me to look. Actually, it was very nice, but it is a bungalow. Not sure how I feel about them.  Stunning garden with greenhouse and _huge_ garage though.

Annie - hope you are feeling a bit better. If you need a good cry, have one. Without wanting to sound patronising, it could be hormones. I've found myself bursting into tears at everything and nothing lately. You'll feel so much better once you've had your scan. i know that 4 days seems a long time in pregnancy world though. is it in the morning? I do hope so, then you can tell us how it went before you become incommunicado again.

Claire - You must teach me your secret in getting loved ones to buy flowers. Glad you sorted everything out with bf.
I don't think the airport noise around Luton is too bad at the moment, but it could get worse when the airport expands (and make reselling a house difficult). I like all the villages round there - Offley, Charlton, Lilley, Whitwell, Kimpton etc, but actually I can't see any suitable houses (except yet more bungalows) in our price range.

Donna - I hope you're OK. I too don't want to say anything for fear of jinxing things, but I'm thinking of you.

Polly - glad you got the accounts sorted. I have definitely sussed the yahoo thing now. i managed to sign onto it last night, but no one was there. 

Better go and check out more houses. I'm quite excited about it now.

Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Emma glad you are feeling better

Annie how are you feeling now, sound slike you need a good cry followed by a good nights sleep. but you probably knew that already 

Claire your bf sounds wonderfull and very supportive which is fantastic well done you!

Polly how did scan go today? hope it was good news

NO AF yet but not looking hopeful  

Had some pink discharge last night and this morning so put a pad in just in case.
Had nothing on pad all day, but I have had pink or sometimes dark gunk when I wipe (sorry tmi) so looks like AF is slowly creeping in    guess I was the stupid one to actually think it would happen to me  

Had a rubbish day at work too  

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

oh Donna, it's not over til it's over, so still sending you     

Annie, hope you had a good cry and can have a realxing evening. When is your computer coming back from the hospital? Funny you having a dream about me, I had one at the weekend about meeting up with you all, and as you sat next to me, I touched your belly (apologies for being so forward!). Maybe the two dreams together are a good omen! Although I have to say that this week is promising to be so stressful that it is probably the worst week of my life to ttc!  

It is a bit weird dreaming about people we have never actually met, but I guess that just shows how important we are to each other.  

Emma, a bungalow has a lot of advantages - I grew up in one - not least the fact that usually there is a bit of space between you and the neighbours. You can easily clean & paint the windows and gutters, you get loads of attic (potential for conversion) and often a good-size garden (like you say). Also no stairs might be quite an advantage with a toddler, or even a small baby. They do have a bit of an old age pensioner connotation in this country, I know, which is a bit off-putting. Anyway, you'll find your house soon, I'm sure. And I'd be glad to chat anytime about the area.

I went for my scan this morning, and Donna, I got some statistics! Lining was 8mm, but follie was only 12 mm. Not as good as last time. So I have some OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits, Claire!) to use until Friday, and then we go back. If I surge then we go for basting (insemination, Claire!) on Friday, if not, then I get a trigger (to take home and inject myself  ) and we go back on Monday. Must remember to take DH with me on Friday!

Next time (if there is one) they will try me on injectibles, and I think she also said upping the dose of clomid as well. The idea of this is to have more than one eggie for the   to aim at. 

Claire, well done on your chat with BF. He sounds a diamond, and flowers are always good!   It sounds like you are making great progress both yourself and with him.  

OK, I can smell dinner coming....so I'm off. 

Lots of Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Polly just a quickie,

Thanks for the stats they sound great! don't worry about size of follie its early days and plenty of time for it to grow, think it can grow from 1.5mm-2mm a day so will be in 20s by ovulation.

Hope this week isn't too stressful

Off to bed now nighty night

Donna xx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all,

Polly, thank you for the definitions!  I think I'm getting to grips with the abbreviations slowly!

Emma, hope the house hunting goes well.  I don't think it will take that long, but the longer it goes on, the more houses you can poke around!!  Always the best bit, in my opinion!

Donna, I have all my fingers crossed (hard to type though!), any news?

Annie, hope you're feeling better.  I find vast amounts of chocolate cheer me up (until I consider the weight gain...)

I have some great news.  Last night I tried #3!  I didn't plan to, I decided to do the dilation in the living room infront of the telly (for some mental distraction!) as I was home alone and #2 was going well so I thought 'what the hell'.  It was ok, a bit uncomfortable and my muscles didn't like it going in too much so was a slow affair.  But once in, it stayed there for 10 mins and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, no pain just very weird feeling and uncomfortable.  Didn't like it coming out much either, but progress is progress.  I should add that I'd drunk 1/2 a bottle of wine first though!  Bf is pleased too, I think he feels more involved now I'm discussing it more.  We're going to the cinema tonight to see Saw II (my choice!) to celebrate.

Claire x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Claire

     


Well done! You're a star! And a really brave one at that! I'm so pleased for you. I've been putting off using mine for about a week now, and used the excuse of the scan yesterday not to do it, but I think I need to get back to it.  . So you are spurring me on too!

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

We're over the weepy stage today, but it seems I might be getting a cold instead. I'm rather snotty this morning (eww) and have a sore throat. Hoping this is as bad as it gets! Went and had my hair cut and coloured last night which always cheers me up, but didn't get home until nearly 10pm. Then sat up watching Trial & Retribution - love it! Paying for it today though as cannot stop yawning!

Claire - Be very very very proud of yourself for not only being brave enough to try number three but for conquering it also! Well done  

Polly - I had a message last night that my laptop is on it's way back to me. I'm thinking I'll have it tomorrow or the day after. Not sure if they've managed to recover everything or if I have to build it all back from scratch yet. Either way I don't care - I'll just be happy to up and running again.
Sounds like everything is ready to rock and roll for this cycle. I am sending you oodles of positive vibes through the net and the very best of wishes!  Hoping my dream of you getting pg this time comes true.

Donna - I'm praying for good news for you. 

Emma - How are you doing today?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Claire that is great well done, you are making progress so fast your be having sex in no time, #3 in what 1-2 months that is fantastic. can't find the words to express how wondefull you are, and as for bf he's a dimond  

Annie so pleased you will have laptop back so you can talk to us again

Emma and Polly how are you?

At home today and look shocking   AF arrived with serve tummy ache and cramps (guess that made up for not having it leading up to af) feel a fraud for having day off as usually have a few choice words about people who are of due to periods but really couldn't face a room full of 3 year olds today! couldn't move this morning cramps were so bad nealry in tears! had hot flushes, shakes and felt sick! tried taking pain killers but threw them back so had no choice but to phone in sick!

Feel much better now, just very groggy and lathargic.

Emotionally I am ok though, DH and I had a good talk last night into the early hours of this morning, I had a good cry about everything and do feel much better think the problem last month is I tried (and failed) to hide my felings from DH to save him more pain.
I just want to buy things for MY BABY not somebody elses and Hold my baby MY CHILD  and never ever have to give ti back!

That was a 5th negative bms cycle what worries me is statisically we should have got pregnant by now so I am taking longer than average for my age! what if something else is wrong? my tubes or my body rejects DH sperm? unlikely but still a chance! or could just have unexplained IF  

As the months tick on the thought of having more treatment creeps in, thing is we got oursleves in a real mess financially last time and are still trying to recover, we can't aford it again!

Donna xx    

will have to get college work done today as can't expect my half day tommorrow


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

DH just came back form work, scared the life out of me!

He got upset at work and they sent him home to be with me, he will make time up on sunday.

nice to have him home though - no college work for me!

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

typical I am at home and your all busy  

think DH and I may go out somewhere for lunch problem is have no £ not a single 1 and I'll loose money for today  

Plus I don't want to get spotted out and about by anyone as said I was off with serve headache and been sick


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna - I'm so sorry that af found you. You do need a treat, so whatever you decide to do, go for it, even if the pennies need to be squeezed a bit later. Good for DH's work to let him come home! Make sure you get lots of cuddles in today. I know that it doesn't help today, but in order for there to be an average, someone has to get the short straw. It doesn't mean that you have a problem, maybe just a bit more patience is needed. You could still get a BFP before Christmas. 

I can't be on long at the moment, (too many people in and out of my office), but know that I am thinking of you, and it will be your turn soon!

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks polly,

We will definatly go out for lunch just not sure where will have to somewhere cheap and and where I wont get spotted  

DH and I spoke a bit about adoption, just thinking stage

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Donna - I'm so sorry that you had another BFN. You're right to take the day off work (and how sweet of dh to come home to comfort you). Go and have lunch an pamper youself and you'll be ready to face the world again tomorrow. 

Polly - hope you are able to avoid too much stress. I'm glad they have a plan of action for you. 
I haven't ruled out a bungalow. Anyway, I'd rather be surrounded by old people than noisy young ones.

Claire - wow! You are doing brilliantly. The leap from #2 to #3 is a *huge* one.     I did laugh at the idea of you having a go in front of the TV. Hope you had the curtains closed. 

Annie - what fabulous news about your computer. Sorry you are feeling under the weather.

More househunting for me today. Saw 2 this morning - one awful, the other lovely but perhaps too far from dog-walking? 3 more this afternoon. I have found one that (on paper) looks fabulous, for tomorrow. Polly - it is in Codicote. Do you know much about the area (you can send me a PM if you would prefer). I've driven through it countless times in the dark when I've got lost round there, but know little of it. 
Dh is back with me now. Officially, he starts back with his old firm today, but they've given him a few days off to recover from his Manchester ordeal.

It is fascinating to poke around peoples' houses. I am so tired though......

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Donna - Sorry I did read your post earlier, but this is the first chance I've had to come back and reply.

I am really sorry that AF arrived, but I seriously don't think you even need to be thinking about things like adoption. Hun, there is nothing wrong with you or DH. You're both young, fit and healthy, it's just being cruel and taking a bit of time. As you know, having been one of my greatest supports over the last 18 months +, that I have had many, many friends fall pregnant around me and do you know what - not one of them managed it very quickly. They have all taken 6 months plus at least. I believe you are just like them Donna, perfectly capable of having a natural BFP, you just have to keep going.

I think you did the right thing staying off work today and how lovely that DH came home too. Now sod the money, go out there and treat yourself to a yummy lunch, then go home and curl up on the sofa together and watch a nice movie or something.

And remember - *it is going to happen*


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

thanks all of you  

off out for lunch only down to the cafe but yummy all the same, just hope I dont get spotted maybe I should go in disgise? ha ha

adoption only a though at this stage and we would HAVE to think and talk loads more not even sure its a option myself, its only because its national adoption week this week so lots in media about it that it got me thinking. we are going through all this heartache when there are children out there suffering too and need a loving home, I have a vacancy for that. whos know it willprobably stay a thought who lnows

Talk to you all later

Donna xx

Polly hope you aren't working to hard

Emma hope wondefull house is as good as it looks tommorrow. How good of DH's work to give him time off bet he his enjoying be at home with you, you don't get much time together do you. hope you will do something nice together other than look round houses


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi

There is just no way I can avoid the stress this week I am afraid, but we are going on with the treatment, as not doing it would add to more stress I think.

Emma - good luck with the houses, I'll pm you later, or I'll keep yahoo on today if you want. What did Manchester/your mum say about the change of plans? Was it really awful? So glad though that you got it all sorted out.

Donna - far too early to be thinking about adoption as an alternative to having your own (but you'd make a great mum to child that needs one). No harm in knowing that you are both happy about doing it, but you won't _*need * _ to go there. There are lots of avenues open to you on the NHS, and you could even think about moving to a better (for treatment) area if you don't think that the local options are good enough.

Do what Annie says; sofa, blankie, DH, chocs, silly movie, cuddles!

Annie, glad you feel better today, thanks for your good wishes!

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

had a sleep this afternoon but still feel awfull, really weak and feel a bit sick   I am sure AF or atleast the symptoms are getting worse each month but nothing I can do about it.

DH phoned hospital to check if we were still on nhs waiting list - which we are and we should reach the top by July. thing is I'd have to keep quiet about being able to have sex now because where I live they dont put you on nhs list untill you are 25! but I have been allowed on early due to special circumstances.
I can write to a lady at my primary care trust and plead my case and may get funding earlier but wouldn't know what to write I am no good at things like that.

Not sure about more treatment I would be using med's this time and it was no picnic when I didn't use them so with the added joy of side efects not sure about going through it again also not sure how I'd get all teh time off work either 
tx is far worse I think than ttc naturally each month just not sure I can ever go through that again when there are no gaurantees that anything will come of it.

Still mulling over adoption in my head, not sure that DH is ready for that option quite yet and I'm not saying right now but its something to look into so we know all our options. I know adoption is no picnic either and it doesn't mean that I wont conceive with my own biological child 1 day...................................

Emma how were the houses?

Polly things sound awful for you at work at the moment   for you

Annie and claire how have your days been ?

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Can't stop long at the moment. Houses this afternoon were awful, but I'm not going to get downhearted just yet. I'm shattered now, as is dh. I wish the blooming/radiant phase of being pg would hurry up and arrive.

Donna - I agree with everything everyone else has said about adoption.
Just a thought about the NHS list - when you finally get to the top (and lets hope you are pg before then) won't they be able to tell from examining you that you've had sex?

Polly - I will try to pop onto yahoo later. I have 101 things to do 1st.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi,

Emma sorry houses were awful hope you have a better day tommorrow.

Nothing is certain about adoption it is justa thought another option. we want a child and there are children out there that want and need a home.

Yeah I guess they would be able to tell that I've had sex but then I had managed sex before just didn't want to do it again. they knew that when I was put on the list so guess it wouldn't make any difference - hope not

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

So there Donna is,in a busy fertility dept of the local hospital legs up in stirrups and dignity a mere distant memory... in comes the consultant - one of those hearty jolly hockeysticks public school types, takes one look and booms so that everyone in the waiting room can hear: "Young lady, you've been having SEX!!!  ". Donna then has to scuttle through the waiting room clutching her hospital robe closed behind her to the changing room (cos you always do, don't you?) blushing shamefully. 

       

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Very funny Polly - can see that happening


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh my word - what were you lot on last night?

Polly - You're completely bonkers, but I love ya!!!! 

Donna -  Maybe if you ask Polly nicely, she could help you draft a letter. A clean one!!!! In my experience with hospitals, you have to keep nagging, pushing and knocking on doors til you get what you want. Get a letter sent off asap Donna as these things can take time. I'm sure you won't need it but sometimes it's nice just to know "something" is happening.

Emma - Bad luck about the houses. Keep going though, the right one will turn up soon.

I've only just got into the office at 09:20!!! DH has a bad case of Man Flu and kept me awake groaning and coughing all night. I also had a severe case of trapped wind ( ) and was in agony til the early hours. Also convinced myself that I might have skin cancer because I looked at a mole last night and am convinced it used to be a shade or two darker years ago! Don't worry - I shall go see my GP and get it checked out.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I've got a day off from house-hunting today  but think I'll be spending much of the day talking to estate agents and removal people .

Annie - try not to worry too much about your mole. According to one of my many pregnancy books it is quite normal for moles and any marks on the skin to turn a shade or two darker during preganncy. I've been worrying that my mole _hasn't_ changed colour.  Get it checked out though if it will put your mind at rest.
Is your laptop back today?
Has your wind cleared up?!

Donna - hope you are fighting fit today.

Polly - hope you have some resolution of your stressful work situation today.   

Claire - how was the film?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hello Again!

Emma - Wind seems to have sorted itself out overnight!!! I'm not so worried about the mole this morning. Think my imagination ran away with me in the early hours of this morning. I had just been reading Gloria Hunnifords book on her daughter - Caron Keating and her battle with cancer at such a young age. I am so sure my mole has been a shade or two lighter for years. Think it might have been stretched a bit during that time as it's only my belly  

I will still get it checked out when I'm next at the surgery as I don't trust moles!

Laptop is back at the shop. I'm going to collect it after work. They did have to replace the hard drive so we have to start from scratch again. I should be able to get back online tonight. I am just so cross that I'll have to download all my CD's back onto my Ipod again - all 300 of them - aaaahhhh

Good Luck with the Estate Agents today.


Polly - Is it scan day today or tomorrow?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I shouldn't be on here. My list of things to do is growing longer by the minute and estate agents won't leave me alone. Feels like one step forward, two back today.

Annie - good news that your laptop is coming home. Did you lose all your photos after all then? I'm impressed that you'd managed to download 300 CDs in the 1st place. I did about 10 then got bored. 

Must go and make some calls.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Doh! - sorry meant 300 songs not 300 CD's!!!!

I think I lost everything Emma, Maldives pictures included

DH will just have to take me back there so we can have some more piccies won't he!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)




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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm back!!!!!

Laptop is home and we're back up and running


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Great news Annie


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Glad to have you back Annie

Dont feel unwell today although very very tired as couldn't sleep last night!
Feel very emotional today though and bit down but I'll be ok just may take a few days.

Think we are going for more treatment! will have to write to teh trust to see if we can get treatment before July, but if we can't I guess July isn't that far away!

Good tip Annie about asking polly for help.......................Polly? would you mind? I am sure you would know exactly what to say I am no good with things like that.

I have a literacy exam tommorrow which should be fun! not! get morning off work to do it though  

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, of course I would help!   If you just write it all down, just as it comes out of your head, don't worry about spelling or grammar or order or ANYTHING, I just want how you FEEL. Then pm me with it, and I'll do the rest. 

Annie, what a shame about losing your photos and stuff. There was an interesting bit on Newsnight last night about electronic storage, and basically they were pushing the line that acid free paper is the best storage media! Was it a virus, or just the HDD getting no good?

Emma, are you back on househunting tomorrow? Is anything that you've looked at available in a short timescale?

Claire - hi!

I've had a really busy day, meetings and driving all day, and same tomorrow. So a wee bit tired. I do hope that basting isn't on Friday, because I simply can't take the rest of the day off (I know, I don't work on Fridays!), but I might be able to on Monday. On the other hand, resting hasn't done it for me yet!  

We'll see....

Love 
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning all,

Donna - I have high hopes that you won't be needing tx by July next year. i'm sure there'll be a baby Taylor in progress by then. Good to cover all the options though.
Hope you feel a bit better today.

Polly - hope everything goes OK today.
I'm househunting in the Luton area today and tomorrow (villages only, not Luton central). To answer your Q, everyone claims to be able to mobe quickly and not to be in a chain, but we'd have to press themm further on that. I don't want to live with MIL for ever, lovely as she is.

Annie, Claire - hope you are both OK.

Back later,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Guten Morgen One and All

OK, so feeling beyond nervous about my scan tomorrow. One minute feeling sick with excitement about what I might see and then sick with worry that I'll get there and somethings wrong. It's been such a long wait that I've worked myself into a bit of a state over it. I just can't believe there might be someone in there. 

Anyway......

Emma - Good Luck with the house hunting today

Donna -  With Polly on the case now I'm sure things will start happening, although I very much see this as a back up. I have a strong feeling that Baby Taylor isn't too far away.

Polly - If you have to work on Friday, at least make yourself as comfortable as possible and keep movement to a minimum. Make sure you're warm and snug at your desk.

Claire - Hope you're well

Have a good day everyone xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hello all,

Skiving off work  

Had a literacy exam this morning which went ok I think not really to bothered either way I know I am crap at spelling and gramma.

Got adoption info through this morning haven't flicked through yet as its plan c!
I hope I wont need treatment but that means getting pregnant in next month or 2 which I haven't managed in the last 6 months and the longer it goes on for the more likely it seems I will need medical help  

Would really like to start treatment in January but can't see that happening on NHS! I know we can write to our local trust but we get funding in July can't really see us getting anything before then can you? worth a try though. Thanks for you help Polly, I don't even know what to PM you haven't a clue where to start or what to say.
DH is still waiting for a pay out form when he got knocked off is bike, want to clear soem debts with it but maybe if he gets a nice amount we may have another round of treatment privately but its so expensive and don't think he'll get that much anyway.

Still not sure if emotionally or physcologically I can go through anymore treatment or months of trying hence why we have started talking about adoption - I know you all think it is a silly idea and I am getting way way ahead of myself but I don't think I can take it anymore. The feelings of total dispear and lonelyness! the emptiness and heartache we go through each month is too much. I cant keep feeling tis low  

Emma, hope house hunting goes better today? DH still with you?

Polly, when will you know if basting is tommorrow? in the morning?

Annie, what tme is scan? please dont worry it will all be fine but very natural to feel worried

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Bye everyone

Best get to work although I really really don't want to feel very tearful 
Have headache too  

Started taking temp thismorning I know a bit late on day 3 but it wont make any diference will it?
I took it on monday but AF didn't arrive till tuesday. I was to ill on tuesday and forgot yesterday  
Will do it every morning now I hope.

Off to work for me then, the afternoon will be so long!

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Donna, you poor lovie. I honestly think you're taking the right steps in looking into getting IUI with the NHS up and running. I am quite convinced that once you start this process you will feel like something is finally happening for you and it will give you a goal to focus on. I know I felt that way once I'd plucked up the courage to call my Consultant and tell them I was ready to get going. Although I was petrified, I could see light at the end of the tunnel. Finally someone was going to be taking control and sorting me out. Maybe believing that relaxed me enough for it to happen anyway. But trust me, starting this process will be enough to lift your spirits. Put those adoption papers away for now and sit down with DH and see if you can collect some ideas for Polly to write your letter. I'd be happy to help also in anyway I might be able to. 

It's going to be alright hun. We're going to sort this out with you xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - sorry you're feeling down.  I don't think adoption is a silly idea, but I don't think you need to be at that point yet. I imagine that the adoption process is also extremely stressful and frustrating. They ask questions about every little thing in your life. I vaguely looked into it when I thought we'd never manage sex (and before I really knew what infertility tx were available).
Is the literacy exam part of your college course? Will you get more money for doing it?

Polly - hope everything went OK at work today. I just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world for tomorrow, if that turns out to be basting day.    

Annie - Good luck with the scan tomorrow. I'm not going to say everything will be OK, even though I'm sure it will, because you won't belive it until you see it with your own eyes. What time are you having it. My top tip is not to drink too much water. It makes waiting very uncomfortable  (especially if they are running late) and it can block the view.
I can't wait to hear all about it.

Well, I have seen 5 houses today, 3 of which I loved. They will form our shortlist, although we can't decide between them. We've been weighing up the pros and cons of each, and are no closer. One was streets ahead in terms of charm (13th century cottage full of beams), but the owner seemed in no great hurry to move, so we may have to rule it out. Can't decide between the other 2 for love nor money. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

OOOOH Emma the cottage sounds lovely, good location to? would it not be worth waiting a little longer if you really love the cottage? what are the other to places like?

Annie, thanks for what you said earlier (and you emma) and I dont want to seem like I am throwing it back in your face but remember I have been down the IUI road before and failed! this time would be far worse becuae I would have to use medication and it would be harder to get time off from work, I was nannying when I had my last 2 goes and my mum covered all my time so I didn't have to use hoilday and it didn't disrupt the family, it wouldn't be so easy this time round as I have a '' proper job''

Just don't know if I can face IUI again and who know even IVF! I can hear you all shouting at the screen now but how knows it may come to that. everyone including docs thought I would be pregnant within 6 months but I am not so just proves it no one has a crystal ball.

I am a crontrol freak that is one of the reasons why I find this all so hard, there are no gaurantees and I can't control the outcome. Maybe thats why I am thinking about adoption - its something that I can do, Id have more control over it! But then I know I would always be thinking what if??!
I just so desperatly want a child! I know I have said this before but nobody my own age see's why I have such an obsession and friends older (like you guys) feel I have loads of time so shouldn't get myself in such a flap!

Annie I hope your scan goes well cant wait to hear about it tommorow night.

Polly     If basting is tommorrow

Donna xx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all,

Annie, best of luck for your scan tomorrow, I'm sure it will bring you all the reassurances you need.

Emma, cottage sounds wonderful, where is it?  Bf and I have discussed moving to a village north of Luton as we're currently 'attached' to Luton (not ideal!) but our parents live in the immediate area we do and neither of us want to create any distance between us and them.

Donna, hope the literacy exam went well.

Polly, happy 'basting' and thanks again for all the definitions.

I've been on a hideous course today, Effective Communications, and the tutor is a right knobhead, all loud, arrogant and obnoxious .  Unfortunately I've got another day of it tomorrow!  I just know I'll wake up with a sinking feeling tomorrow morning when I remember what lies ahead of me!  Stil, Bf is cooking tomorrow night so at least I can relax once I escape.  Saw II is a very very very gory film, but if you get into the spirit of not taking it seriously it was a bit entertaining (the bits I could watch through my hands...).  No dilators tonight, I've run out of alcoholic wipes and don't want to risk an infection as that would probably put me back to square 1 and dilator #1.  Going to get some from Ann Summers when I go shopping Sunday (unless anyone knows a cheap internet supplier).  However, bf had a go with his finger last night and it was ok.  Not as comfortable even as dilator #3 but I guess that's about control...

Anyway, must go.  Having to check work email from home tonight due to being away on a course.  Sigh!

Claire x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi

Claire - well done with BF! I don't know if you need alcoholic wipes: I just wash mine thoroughly with as hot running water as I can stand, and then dry and wrap them in a clean hankie until I need them again. Maybe I'm doing the wrong thing, the others might have different ideas - was it Emma that just sticks them in the dishwasher? I hope that your course is better tomorrow, if not, can you effectively communicate with your feet?

Emma, that cottage sounds wonderful, I'd love to hear more! 

Donna, it doesn't matter when you start taking your temp, and a couple of days in will not hurt the pattern at all, it might be a bit vaguer if you started 9 or 10 days in. As far as getting the ideas about the letter down, you're just writing to me, and you do that all the time  . You've done it loads of times, so it shouldn't be too hard. You could go to your profile and call up all your posts, and cut and paste the bits that you have already written that express your feelings best. Don't worry about making them join up in any kind of order - just cut and paste in any old order. Then read it through with DH and see if there is anything else that you want to say, and stick it on the bottom. Finally, check that there is detail about what happened to you when - just dates and procedures/appointments, and just stick anything missing about them on the end. That's it - piece of cake! Don't worry if it's long. Really that's all I need. Out of that I can shape it up to be a letter, but with your passion in it, which is the important bit, and the bit I can't do for you.  I'll make it the right length and the right order. Then you have a look and see if it says what you want, give me some comments, and we can redraft. Then you check it again, and if you are happy, send it! 

Annie - how exciting that your scan is tomorrow. I'm sure everything will be hunkydory and I'm looking forward to hearing all about it!

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts about tomorrow. I still am not sure what is going to happen tomorrow. My opk is getting darker, but not darker than the control line. So it might go dark tomorrow, but we will see. The funny thing was when I did it on Tuesday, there was hardly any line at all, and even though it would have been disastrous if it had been positive, I found myself feeling really ****** off that it was negative.    And I don't even POAS very much at all!

Work seems to be getting better, and my reflexologist told me today that the energy she felt was more positive than recently - so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Lots of love

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, meant to ask, how or where are you recording your temps? Just being nosy.

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Bugger - just typed a long message and lost it all. Hate it when that happens. Sorry, guys but I am too knackered to type it again. It a nutshell though:

* - Good to be back in an evening. Sat in my p.j's and relaxing rather than my office get up.

Emma - Cottage does sound rather lovely. What are the other two like?

Donna - You know what is right for you & DH. If treatment is not a route you want to take again that's more than fair enough (if you have to consider it) . Whatever you decide we will support you all the way. 

Claire - Well done with BF progress. You'll start enjoying it alot more real soon  

Polly - Best of luck with basting if it does go ahead. A change in energy is a very positive thing. Trust me on that one  

Well, this is it guys. This time tomorrow we'll know if I dreamt the whole thing, if everything is alright, if there is anyone in there. I'e been feeling sick with worry all day which I know you think is nuts and it probably is. I hope I prove you all right!!!

Night my lovely ladies. Sweetest dreams xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie, I don't think its nuts at all,   it will be ok but you wont belive it till you see your little ruddle. it will be fine hun.

Thanks polly great idea about cutting and pasting   wouldn't have thought of that. you sure its ok for you to help I know you have a lot on please don't feel you have to I wouldn't think any less of you.
Not 100% sure what we are doing my mind changes daily and sometimes more than once. watched a program on adoption tonight and it really pulled on the heart strings - just don't know whats right for us at the moment.

Polly sounds like ti may be all go for tommorrow so good luck hun    I'll be thinking of you and Annie

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, I really really am happy to do this, and happy to do it in your own time. It's an offer that stands for this weekend, or any point in the future. So don't even feel that you have to rush. Just do it when you want. 

But when you are ready, I am!

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning (just) all,

Annie - I wonder if you've had your scan yet? I feel all excited and nervous about it myself (but nowhere near as nervous as you, I bet).       

Polly - I wonder if today is the day for you. (I'm doing a lot of wondering today). What is 'POAS'? Can't wait to hear about your day too.
I'm glad things are a bit better at work. You don't need that kind of stress.

Claire - as Polly rightly says, I used to stick my dilators in the dishwasher after use, although the doctor said running under hot water was just fine. I then put them away in a special box, which somehow made the whole experience less clinical and more lovely.

Claire, Polly - I will PM you with the location of possible houses (don't want to give too much away on here or have anyone else snap them up). If you have any thoughts at all about the areas - good or bad - please let me know. The more information I have the better (control freak ).

Donna - I quite understand why you wouldn't want to go through IUI again. Perhaps the cruel fact is that 6 months is the average time it would take someone to get pg, and some poor sods (including yourself) have to be the ones who take longer than that to make the figure an average. I know that seems very unfair.

I am trying to get organised today. Dh had gone to meetings, and I'm not looking at any more houses. He has ordered me   to take things easy today as we have a busy weekend ahead. I'm not going to argue.
Tomorrow we are hiring a van and taking all the c**p from our shed and attic to the dump, then taking all my plants (the ones in pots) up to SILs house, where they will reside until we have a new house.   Sunday we're doing 2nd viewings and trying to make up our minds about everything.

Have a great day everyone. I can't wait to hear your news!
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hellllooooo!!!!!

I'm back and..... Baby Ruddle was there! 2 hands, 2 feet, lovely heart beating away. It was amazing!

Of course I got myself into a right old state this morning and was feeling sick and wanting to cry. I was pacing the waiting room and was shaking as I led down.

She found him straight away. The pictures of him aren't that clear, but I saw everything I needed to.

She put me at 13 weeks and 1 day, so only one day less than the 7 week scan. She also said my due date would be 19th May I thought it would be 16th? Anyway, doesn't matter. He's there.

Guys, I am so sorry if I've driven you round the bend the last few weeks. I promise I'll take a huge chill pill now. Your support has been very much appreciated


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - that is fantastic!     You must be so relieved! Now you can start to relax and enjoy things (well, worry slightly less anyway). 
Did they tell you the heartbeat rate? There are old wives tales about the heartbeat being an indication of the sex. I guess they can't be 'proper' old wives tale, as doctors have only been able to tell us these things in recent years.

I am thrilled for you. 

Emma, xxxx
p.s. I've just put on a pair of maternity trousers for the 1st time, but I'm too scared to go out in them yet in case someone notices.  I can't fit into my normal trousers at all now, so don't have much choice.......


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

I'm back home from basting! Would you believe that this morning, I FORGOT to do the OPK. I couldn't believe it when I realised that I had wee'd and got in the shower without doing the test.  

But they weren't too worried at the clinic, and scanned and decided today was the day. Luckily I got something right, and remembered to take DH  , so we were able to go ahead. The results were the best yet, with 5 million   going back. The motility and progression were up too ( I made DH have give them a cold shower this morning, and a cup of coffee, so they were as bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as they could be).  They got no bad marks at all, which is the first time this has happened. In May, they got one bad mark for prewash count (only 2 million went back) and last month, they got 5 bad marks ( for everything except motility). So not only were there more of them, but they are moving and have a purpose in life! 

And - this is really spooky - between DH giving his sample and the procedure, we go off to a local cafe for the "Infertility Special" breakfast, and so we did this morning, and as usual looked through the papers. I rarely read horoscopes, but did this morning, and DH's said that "luck is building for you and a Leo" . Guess what star sign it will be in 9 months!!!!! 

Annie - brill news (knew it would be!) and your worries are behind you, which can only be good.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

oops, pooter was threatening to turn off, so I posted in the middle of that to not lose it.


Just wanted to post some numbers for Donna: lining was 13mm, and follie was 23 mm (up from 8mm and 12mm on Monday).

Ohhhh! I'm just SO excited!       . Going to lie on the sofa the rest of the day and watch a Cary Grant film.  

Love

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

OMG Polly! That is absolutely phenomenal. Pass on my well done to DH - what an impressive improvement!

I don't blame you for being excited, I am doing spins in my chair at the office. I am so over the moon for you.

I reckon it was meant to be after the naff week you've had. Now you stay on that sofa Mrs, keep your tummy warm and think positive thoughts.

WOW this is so great!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - that is _fantastic_ news! No wonder you are    I'm so excited for you.  Sounds like it went perfectly. It must be a huge relief to you and dh (poor him having a cold shower ). The horoscope thing sounds spookily positive.
You take care now my dear.   

Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Polly - thats is fantastic, DH must be pleased to. I hoipe this time works for you, good omens so far!   
I'll get cracking on letter -  I think! keep changing mind I don't know what to think. Guess me and DH need a long emotional chat. I'll do that tommorrow.

Emma - Get out there in those maternaty trousers, flaunt it girl  

Annie -  so pleased scan went well, you must be chuffed to bits and can hopefully relax a litle now.

I am still up and down and well all over the place really. I know someone as to take longer than 6 months and MAYBE next month will be my month but how long am I go to be saying that for? 1 month? 3 months? 6 months? 1yr? 2yrs? thats what I cant handle -  who knows how long it takes some peole never get pregnant without any cause - that could be me, no reason why not.

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

DH came hoem and we had little chat while cooking dinner, need to talk more though but what came up is that he/we don't think we or especially could take more treatment especially with meds. the stress of it all alone would be too much with work and emotionally and phscologically I am scared as to what it would do to me, think i would go over the edge!  

Not sure where that leaves us now


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Thanks all for your enthusiasm. I passed your congrats on to DH, Annie, and he was dead chuffed! 

Donna, please stop fretting! There is no one and no way to say how long it will take, and that is hard, but it's just like that. Some things you can't control and you just have to thole. I really believe that if you can get to grips with that, you'll feel better. I'm not saying this in any kind of horrible way, because I really do understand how frustrated you feel. But a person wastes so much emotional and mental energy going round and round in circles, and the reality is that you can never tell when or why you will get pg. All you can do is your best in terms of following advice, and then get on with life. (And do I follow my own advice? Not always! Of course I can spend hours looking for that little bit of information that will make the difference, and sometimes I have to remind myself that mostly I am not going to. But then I only found out about pycnogenol last month, and it might be the thing that has made the difference to DH's . ) You say that you can't handle it, but you just have to. This won't be that last thing that drives you mad with frustration and uncertainty in life, and if you can find your way to handle it, then it's a great tool for dealing with the poo that life will keep throwing at you. You can't stop the poo, you can only deal with the way you let it affect you. And you will get pg at a point in time, and you can affect that by having lots of bms (best) - or treatment - and being healthy and young. So you have at least 2 of those on your side, and you're working on the other. But fretting or trying to predict the future is not going to make one tiny bit of difference.  Unfortunately! 

I know that you are going to answer me by saying that you can't help fretting, but my point is that I know it's hard, but the biggest favour you can do yourself at this point is to find the way to stop. it's all you can do.

None of this means that you can't keep fretting, and come on here and say how you feel, or anything. I'm not "telling you off", I'm just trying to help, and I do apologise if it's clumsy.   

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I'm having another of my sleepless nights. I thought I was over that now. 

Dh and I went out for a lovely thai meal last night and I ate far too much, so I think that has disrupted my sleep. Plus I keep going over and over all the houses in my mind, unable to reach a decision. 

Donna - I wore the trousers yesterday evening, and the world didn't end. Dh thinks they are great because they make my legs look much longer. 

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. Polly - make sure you rest properly. 

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Greetings One & All

A lovely Saturday morning to you. Aaah, I love the weekend. I stayed in bed til 9.30 and have since been poodling round the house in my p.j's making a start on the housework.

Emma - Thai meal sounds lovely. Wish I could enjoy a nice meal out. Still feeling a bit sick in the evenings  

Polly - I'm still buzzing from the excitement of your news yesterday. Keep your feet up today

Donna - I have to be honest and say that I agree with what Polly said. We will all have to face challenges in our lives at some point. Look at what each of us has faced over the years so far. I had to deal with the loss of a parent at a young age, Emma has had to deal with her childhood, Polly has had to put herself through some nasty surgery. Each of us came through it didn't we and it might have been hard at the time but we made it.

IUI/IVF will be very difficult, there's no doubt about it but sometimes we have no choice but to fight for the things we want in life and face the challenges that life throws at us head on. It's not fair and it's not pleasant but is it not worth it when you get what you've always wanted?

I know you must be scared about what treatment might do to you and angry that you might have to do it at all, but if you want a little person as bad as I know you do then you're going to have to go out there and get it whatever way is necessary. You have to keep going.

I bet if you spoke to any of the IUI or IVF ladies on this site that finally got a BFP they would all tell you it was hell to go through but they'd do it all over again because it was totally worth it in the end.

Remember me telling you about my friend who did IVF six times and finally fell with twins? Well she gave birth to them on Thursday - 2 boys. I vividly remember the many times we would talk prior to the BFP and she'd tell me she didn't think she could take anymore, she'd had enough, this was it. Well when she got the BFP she told me it was worth every minute of those last 4 years of treatment - every minute and everything she had been through was all forgotten. It didn't matter anymore how she got there. The thing that mattered most was that they achieved the dream.

I know you're a very strong woman Donna. I know very well that you've got the fight in you. You just have to remind yourself of that fact.

Go out there and get what you want!!!!!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

not feeling very chatty but just poped on because I forgot to tell polly yesterday that I am entering my temps on fertilityfriend.com and in the little book tht came in the pack form boots

have a nice weekend

Donna


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

I wondered if you were charting on FF if we could look at each other's charts. I have VIP membership for  life, but I don't know if you can look at other people's charts if you have another kind of membership. I'll pm you the link to my chart anyway and we can see.

Emma (?) asked what POAS was: pee on a stick, aka take a hpt. (Goodness, does that make it any clearer?)

I have had a moderately active day, went to a Veggie Show with DH and DSS, which was a bit manic and crowded, but thankfully small, so we weren't there too long. Then we had lunch and DH and I went to IKEA  . Managed to get out with only spending £25, so not too bad.  . Now going to slob out for the rest of the weekend.

Donna, hope you are ok, and are having a relaxing weekend. I know you'll feel better in a couple of days, at least there is not that much time between getting over af and being ready to start the rollercoaster again. It's not great, but it's there to do. Take care honey.

Claire: how's things?

Annie: Hi!

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Polly - you are a braver woman than I going to IKEA on a Saturday (in fact on any day). Shouldn't you be resting?
Funny time of year for a veg show. I guess sprouts, leeks, and cabbages are in season. 

Annie - sounds like you are having a lovely day. I reckon you'll feel less sick in a day or two. My GP said that m/s cleared up at 14 weeks, and I didn't believe her. Then on Thursday, bang on schedule, I felt like me again and have had a hearty appetite ever since. Let's hope I'm not speaking too soon and just having a couple of freaky good days. Hang on in there and all will be well.

Donna - hope you are OK and manage to find some time to relax over the weekend. I know you are having a tough time at the moment, but you need to find something that distracts you from the stress of ttc. Being around babies and toddlers all week long can't help either. 

Claire - I know you're not reading this, but hope you have a good weekend.

I've spent all day shifting things. All my plant pots have gone, and the shed and attic are clearish. The house looks like a bombsite, but I am going to ignore the mess until tomorrow. We have boxes and clutter everywhere. 
Off to lie down and read the papers.

until later,
Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma!

Veggie as in Vegetarian!!! Not as in Chelsea Flower Show for Vegetables!

DH's idea to go to Ikea - haven't been for years, but we have a lamp that I've had longer than I've had DH that fits in a tiny corner of our tiny house, and it is disintegrating. So as it came from Ikea, DH felt we had to go to Ikea to replace it (doncha love their logic!). We got something that might do, although I think it is a bit big and we'll have to do some serious rearranging tomorrow. These things seem deceptively simple at first, and then you find that you have to knock down a wall or something... 

Love Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone

How are we all today? Well, don't all cringe but DH & I are planning to make a start on Xmas shopping today. I must be crazy I know, but there isn't that many shopping weekends left and I have to drag DH out whenever he's home at the weekend this time of year! I also need something to wear to my friend's wedding party next weekend. She gets back from her honeymoon on Thursday and I can't wait to see her.

Emma - Sounds like you made alot of progress with the house! 

Polly - How are you feeling since your amazing Friday?

Donna - I'm really sorry if I was a bit harsh 

Claire- Hope you're having a good weekend.

Righto - off for a soak in the tub before shopping commences. I'll try and pop back this arvo.

P.S - Having probs signing into Yahoo Messenger - is anyone else?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - Christmas shopping, goodness.    Isn't that what Christmas Eve is for? Only joking. I'm only holding off until December because I see no reason to buy things then transport them around the country, plus I'll want something to do when I stay with MIL. Good luck with it.
How wonderful to have a dh who is useful for that kind of thing. Mine veers between tut-tutting about the waste of it all and getting carried away buying extravagant gifts for his family of things he thinks they ought to like rather than actually would like. I leave him at home and do it all myself - far easier.

Donna - how are you today? I hope you don't feel that we're all ganging up on you. I _don't_ think you are too young to be worrying about ttc, or anything else. What I have tried to say in the past, but probably haven't phrased it very well, is that when you are that bit older you've been through more c**ppy phases in life and had more crises, and you come out the other side. Most normal people times when everything seems impossible (whether ttc or something equally important to them) and it feels like nothing will ever work out, but you get through it in time and learn so much about yourself in the process. There will be a Baby Taylor one day (and probably a few more too). I'll stop, as I'm probably making everything worse.
Please, please come back though.   

Polly - can't believe I got the wrong type of veggie.    Hope you've found a home for your lamp now.

Dh and I went to look at 3 local houses this morning, 2 were 2nd viewings, one a new house. We wanted to be sure that local things really weren't an option, and have done that. All were very convenient for dh's commuting but everything else was too much of a compromise. I am all housed out now. If only one could put the best bits of each house together and make the perfect house.
After many, many weeks we finally managed a bit of  action too. It was a bit painful, and I had to use lots of lube, but it was quite a relief. I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever manage it again. I'm sure it will be easier and more relaxing the next time. I'm sure this is TMI, but the only lube to hand was the KY warming one - a very peculiar sensation if you use it in the quantities we did! 

have a lovely day people,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma, we're both online, do you fancy a chat?
POlly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Polly,

Just seen your message. I'l just log in.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Sorry I haven't been around I haven't been good company.

When I read your posts they made me cry I was in an emotional state anyway so it wouldn't have taken much. I decided not to reply becasue the way I was feeling I probably would have sent a $hitty message and I didn't want to do that.

I appriciate all you have said although I do not agree with all of it, as friends you are not ment to tell me what I want to hear all the time are you.
I know you want me to pull myself together and things could be worse and I'll get through it and it will all be worth it but I just cant do that - I'm sorry

If I knew I would fall pregnant next month or even next year I woukld be able to deal with it all better, whats making things worse for me is who knows if I will ever get pregnant.
Annie, I appriciate what you said about your friend who had twins and of course once you have your child its definatly all worth it I completely agree but to go through more treatment and it not work? hardly worth it then is it.

I hope this is coming across right, I am not *****ing at anyone just saying how I feel.

Take care

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly, Donna - lovely to chat to you, now I've got the hang of it. Sorry to disappear at the end. My parents called   . 

Enjoy the rest of Sunday,
Emma, xxxxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Sorry, not been able to log on for the last few days.  First on Day 2 of that crappy course, then a busy weekend.  Bf cooked Friday night and I wasn't ill, so that was good.  Saturday and Sunday days were spent Christmas shopping (another overly organised person...) and went to see In Her Shoes on Saturday night (very long and a bit boring in my opinion), and to see my parents last night.

Had some spotting after bf and finger on Friday night which psychologically did a bit of damage.  He was slightly rough and I a bit tense.  However, did #2 and #3 last night again (after wine!) and all was fine.  I am obviously not relaxing with him.  And he feels really awful about it.  

Emma, good luck with the house hunting.

Annie, I'm so pleased the scan went well and you are now reassured!    Do you know it's a boy?  

Donna, I'm sorry to read through and see how you're feeling.  I think ttc is a relative thing, and whether to be concerned or not can't be quantified as it's down to the individual.  At your young age, I think you have bags of time though, but that's easy for me to say I know.

Polly, I'm planning a trip to Ikea.  Was it really busy on the Saturday, and which one did you go to?  I was thinking the one at the bottom of the M1, or waiting for the Milton Keynes one to open in January.

Claire x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone

I'm sat at home at the moment waiting for my Madwife to arrive. I'm getting really nervous and I have no idea why!?!

Poop - she's here. I'll be back soon


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Claire - thanks for your advice about villages near Luton. We still can't make up our minds, but I'm going to look at all the contenders again tomorrowand reach a decision. Good point about being near things - I want my offspring to have the opportunity to play with lots of other little ones.
I reckon you'll get more relaxed with bf and his finger as you get used to it. Do you put his finger in, or does he? It might help if you put it in the first few times, and then perhaps let him move it around a bit, then move on to letting him put it in himself. I found that much harder than using the dilators. You're doing great though.

Annie - why is the midwife coming to you? Is that normal in your neck of the woods? Hope it goes OK.
Did you get lots of Christmas shopping done?

Donna, Polly - hope you are both OK.

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Sorry - I'm back!

Emma - Midwife's in my area all do their first appointments at your home. It was quite nice actually. She brought a student with her and we sat and had a nice chat about my medical history and all sorts. She eventually managed to find the baby's heartbeat. Took her a while but we got there in the end!!! -phew!

After she left I popped to the hospital and gave what felt like a bucket full of blood. I've got really tiny little veins and people always struggle to get blood out of me. I always go faint because it takes so long and this morning was no different.Think I'm going to have a lovely bruise too! Also handed in a wee wee sample. Now there's a challenge. How do you get it in the pot without peeing all over your hand?!?!?!

Anyway, all done and dusted. I don't need to see her again until 16weeks.

Hardly bought a thing yesterday for Xmas. We spent a fortune getting wrapping paper and cards for the family. Only managed to purchase 2 gifts. Only another 30+ to go! However, I did buy a nice dress in Kookai for my friends wedding reception on Saturday. Hides a multitude of sins.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - glad it went well with the midwife. How civilised of them to do it in your own home. Will you be going for a home birth too?! What a relief to find the heartbeat in the end. Do you still think 'it' is a he?
Yes, the weeing into a pot is tricky, isn't it. I tend to be over-enthusiastic and produce too much. 
Are you feeling any better? I haven't felt at all pg in the last few days, just normal, although I have been eating far too much - half a packet of yummy M&S jaffa cakes this morning.

I'm off to try and create some order out of the chaos that is my house at the moment.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

- The Madwife asked if I wanted a home birth and I told her no bloomin way. 

I do still think it's a he. That heartbeat sounded too laid back to be a girl. Just over 7 weeks until we can find out for sure!!!! What date is your next one? 

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. Tend to find I'm hungry all day but feel really full in the evenings and am only managing small meals. I'm almost back to my healthy eating again- well in the week anyway. Plenty of organic fruit, marmite, organic wholemeal bread, 2 litres of water a day etc etc. The weekends are a complete junk food fest though!
The smell of garlic still makes my stomach churn!

The only thing I guess I'm noticing at the moment is the odd twinge down there. Guess they're "stretching" pains. Still not needing a bigger bra which is most disapointing and still just about fitting into my clothes, so no big shopping trips for me yet


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you sound so excited! 

My 20 week scan is booked in for 28th December at the local hospital, then we can find out if it is a male or female daffodil. The problem is that I may not be living here then. I'm going to register as a temporary patient at MIL's (at my late FIL's surgery - he was a GP) and get them to book me in for a scan at the hospital there too. I'll end up going to one and cancelling the other.

My boobs are definitely bigger. I have to go bra shopping this week, but I'm not looking forward to it; I hate being measured.  

Donna, Polly, Claire - hope you all had a lovely Monday.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Just popping on to say hello. Been a bit of an exhausting day. Still, at least I'm not packing up a house, Emma. 

have fun everyone!

Love

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

Simply wishing you all a pleasant day. I am at home this evening and shall be trying to resolve my Yahoo problem. Hopefully talk to some of you tonight!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Can't stop long. I'm off to view one of the houses again. I'm so excited and nervous. Hope I still like it!

have a lovely day people,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma - How did the house hunt go today?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie,

It went well. I've just put in an offer on a house and am waiting anxiously for the phone to ring! We've started off low, so I'm not really expecting them to say yes to it, but we'll see where we end up by the end of the day!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Bloomin Eck!!!! That is a successful day. Tell me a bit about it......


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hi Girls!

New home this way >>>>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,41991.msg518118.html#msg518118

H xx


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