# IVF twins dumped because they're girls



## Anthony Reid

This is absolutely sickening.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article1220338.ece

*added at 12:30pm



> Just in, an NHS press release...... (courtesy of the HFEA - Thanks Alan)
> 
> STATEMENT FROM THE NHS IN THE WEST MIDLANDS
> Thursday, 29 May 2008
> For immediate release: 29 May 2008
> Ref: 08052901
> 
> Twin girls were born at New Cross Hospital, Wolverhampton earlier this month by emergency caesarean section.
> 
> Shortly after birth, the babies were transferred to a unit in Birmingham closer to where their parents live.
> 
> The parents are visiting their daughters whilst they are being cared for in hospital and are attentive to their needs.
> 
> For patient confidentiality reasons, the identity of the family and the babies are not being disclosed. The identity of the hospital is also not being disclosed.
> 
> We are not aware of a referral to social services.


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## Anthony Reid

This is so wrong on more than one count. And to top it all - The father is 72

The more I think about this, the more I feel the twins would be better of without their biological parents.

BUT... I do think that the couple should be forced to pay for all the NHS costs involved in bringing the little darlings into the world and not only that - but they should be forced to pay for the social services/adoption costs (40k per year?).


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## Hope 2 B

It has made me feel ill reading about this .....words just fail me , they have even asked the staff at the hospital when will the 'mother' will be fit enought to go back to India to try IVF again !!!!!!....i had my twins at the same hospital (New Cross Wolverhampton...who im my opinion are great)....as you have said Tony ... i feel these two precious little girls will be so much better off without their birth parents ....i wish them all the love & luck in the world.....

Hope X


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## buster24

This is just terrible, but do you know what, those wee girls will go to a family that want them, and who will love them deaply, and god will work in mysterious ways and those people will not get anymore   .
I hope that some lovely family gets them soon, as it can be a long time before adotion happens,
My friend adopted we twin girls last june they were 18 months when they got them and had been given up at 3 weeks old but took all that time to go through the process
K XXX


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## sanya

This story has upset and angered me, I cant believe that they were blessed with twin girls yet chose to abandon them, after everything we all go through while having ivf I am sure most of us would welcome the prospect with open arms, I wonder if these people have experienced the heartbreak of multiple failures.
I agree that they are probably better off without their parents and will go to a home where they are cherished.
sanya


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## sallywags

Words fail me.

I hope someone is lucky enough to give them a loving home quickly.


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## Lorna

This story isn't so much about IVF, as about cultural differences. Unfortunately most will think it is.  And that will cause trouble for those going through treatment, and those who seek help abroad.

"The Great British Public" will demand more regulation, when in fact less regulation would have meant that the couple had had treatment in the UK, and so would be more traceable.

IMO this terrible mess is caused not just by over regulation, but by the wrong sort of regulations.  A few years ago, a couple in the US, rejected their twins born via a surrogate.  They only wanted a singleton.  But the laws in California, meant that the situation was resolved with the all the authorities involved.  But the cry is “we don’t those dreadful American laws”  Why on earth not?  In California, the intended parents were held to account, the twins were properly looked after, and everybody knew, who was involved, what was going on, etc.

IMO, California has an awful lot of law, dealing with infertility, but is based on what does or doesn’t work.  The UK laws, IMO, are based on prejudice.  And the fact that the HFEA’s is legally responsible for making rules.  So what do you think it does?

The UK does not need more rules made as a knee jerk reaction.  What we need, is much better quality laws.   Laws that allow us more freedom.  We need laws that include, an American style conflict resolution system, so when problems occur, there are ways of dealing it.

I know I may offend people, but I am reacting as “Ok a plane has crashed, everyone has died.  Now what can we learn so this never, ever happens again.”  I want to make sure that this doesn’t happen again.

The other thing that upsets me is that this is actually in the press.  In California, their attitude is that on such matters, the press should keep quiet.  These twins will grow up, and then they will be able to read the stories that are currently being printed in the press.  They maybe hurt by the press coverage of what happened at their birth, and in the weeks after.  Yes this terrible thing happened.  No one can change that.  But is it better that a parent/social worker/counsellor sits down with them, in private, and explains what happened, or should they be exposed to the press stories.  In California, they think that the former is better.  In the UK, we seem to go for the latter.

Lorna


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## Mummytoone

Tony I couldnt agree more with you over costs.


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## Neeta

I'm so upset and angry about this story. My heart goes out to the little girls and i really hope that they are given a loving family very soon  .

This couple should not be allowed any further treatment .


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## Lully77

I was   watching this story on the news this morning, preparing my Buserelin injection, and thinking how lucky we would be to have one baby girl, let alone two x


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ ©

Absolutely shocking !  This has made me so sad and so angry.....for many many reasons.  As Sally says "words fail me" 

Tony....I completely agree with everything you've said regards costs etc.



N xx


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## CAREbear1

This story made me cry as I lost my twin girls at 23 weeks. How can this be allowed to happen? It is sickening. I am unable to do any more IVF, but have been passed at panel ready for adoption. Unfortunately there is a lack of Asian adopters so my fear is that these beautiful twins will wait longer for a family. What would have happened if the twins had been a boy and a girl? Would they have abandoned just the one? How would the girl have felt growing up knowing that her parents abandoned her and not her brother? I hope they aren't blessed with more children, but I'm afraid there is often no justice and they probably will do it again very easily.


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## Mrs Chaos

How terribly sad and sickening that this couple can discard these precious babies like unwanted gifts 
The gift of life is one we all aspire to create, and to read this has made my blood boil! 
My biggest fear is the negative impact this will no doubt generate towards the public's opinion on IVF/tx generally, as if it isn't difficult enough already 

Sadly this scenario happens too often in countries which demand (dictated by cultural issues) the need to produce "preferred" sex children. In some ways these little girls have been lucky, as in the UK they will not be abandoned in the gutter, or sent to an orphanage, they will be welcomed into a loving, devoted family, who will love them for simply being themselves...2 beautiful, precious little girls.

As for the 72 year old "father"  enquiring as to when his wife can return to India for more tx well...words fail me! They are not capable of being parents, they do not deserve to be parents, their cruel, callous actions have illustrated this!
They should not be allowed to have children in my opinion! We treat our animals better than how they have treated these poor babies!

I could say alot more about what I'd personally like to do to them...but won't 

Gayn
Xx


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## loobylou713

I hope they get named and shamed. ************** ******************************************************************************************* can't put  what i want to but you can guess.

I have so many nasty thoughts going through my head about them.


Linda


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## **Tashja**

loobylou713 said:


> I hope they get named and shamed. ************** ******************************************************************************************* can't put what i want to but you can guess.
> 
> I have so many nasty thoughts going through my head about them.
> 
> Linda


I am the same - I think I would be looking at a FF ban if I was to say what I am really thinking.

You have to be a callous and pathetic person to look at 2 tiny baby girls and then dump them like that.

I will be honest though and say that I don't feel it puts IVF in a bad light but it has put the Indian/Asian culture in a bad light, how pathetic is it to have so much pressure on having a boy in this day and age !!!

T xx


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## Anthony Reid

Just in, an NHS press release...... (courtesy of the HFEA - Thanks Alan)




STATEMENT FROM THE NHS IN THE WEST MIDLANDS
Thursday, 29 May 2008
For immediate release:  29 May 2008
Ref:  08052901

Twin girls were born at New Cross Hospital, Wolverhampton earlier this month by emergency caesarean section.

Shortly after birth, the babies were transferred to a unit in Birmingham closer to where their parents live.

The parents are visiting their daughters whilst they are being cared for in hospital and are attentive to their needs.

For patient confidentiality reasons, the identity of the family and the babies are not being disclosed.  The identity of the hospital is also not being disclosed.

We are not aware of a referral to social services.


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## Fidget

So this is all a load of bull in the papers then? I am confused.....


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## Anthony Reid

Possibly


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## Emma74 aka Emmett

So sad and angry at this     

Im pregnant with twins and honestly didnt care what they were i cried when i saw this as i could never give my two up no matter what   

They shouldnt be allowed IVF if thats the way they carry on   
Those babies deserve a better life and would be better off with someone who really would want them and love them no matter what sex they were


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## Burnie aka Hobbit

Some people would give their right arm to be having one baby let alone two...... and wouldn't give a hoot what sex they were      

The paper couldn't print it if there was totally no truth in it..... time will tell i suppose, but if it is true I hope the parents never have hapiness in their lives again


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## sallywags

Hmm - is it bull or are they just trying to take the heat off?  exaggerated maybe?

I watch with interest.


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## flowerpot

I heared this story this morning as I was about to leave to attend the clinic for yet more investigations, I spent the whole journey in the car crying.  Some people are unbelievable    
xxxx


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## Lorna

>The paper couldn't print it if there was totally no truth in it

Burnie aka Hobbit 

The single most important thing to a newspaper is the number of copies sold.  The more newspapers sold, the more money the paper makes.  The single most important thing for TV news, is the ratings.  The more people who watch the better. 

The truth, IMO, comes a very very poor third.  What comes second?  Is will we get sued?  The Express newspaper group didn't think they would get sued, so they printed some very bad stories about the McCanns.  They did get sued and lost.

Or in some cases will we get found out?  One TV journalist was caught faking "sensational" news stories.

IMO any reporter who says their job is to inform the public, is deluding themselves.  A reporters job is to sell "stories"(deliberate use of that word), so as to get more people to read a newspaper, or to listen to the news.

Truth?  Well that is an optional extra.

Lorna


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## bubbles06

i cant believe this story,I think this i absolutely digusting and sickening i bought this paper this morning,if it was up to me i would say them parents should never be alowed treatment again,those poor girls.!


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## Fiffi

If this story is true, then it is just callous disregard for life. Simple as that. These people are not human beings. Period. 

And Tony - you are absolutely right. They should pay all costs.


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## Lorna

If as you say Fiffi 
> If this story is true

I am getting the feeling this is another "twins parted at birth - get married" story. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=124890.msg1834811#msg1834811 which turned out to have been generated, as to apply pressure to the Honerable members of parliament to get them to vote for a mark on a birth certificate, denoting that the child was donor conceived!

Anyway it probbaly has had the desired effect of boosting circulation. We know for one, ranweli bought a copy of the Sun. Would you have bought one anyway, or did you buy it for this "story"

Lorna


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## Junnie

I have a problem having ONE child and these people throw these lil babies away because of their SEX?!?!?!?!


I would love to drive down there right now and adopt them!

The nerve.


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## she-hulk

Is this story actually true?  The Sun is hardly a credible source in my book


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## karen u

I read it in the times...so its not just the sun who printed it.
karen

ps i do hope it isnt true


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## Lorna

Karen u 

The Times and the Sun are produced at the same site, I think in the same building.  Hubby likes The Times, so I buy it for him.  When I read the Times, I do feel that the Times, and the Sun do swap reporters.  

I first felt this, when I read a story in the Times about Surrogacy, entitled "Rent-A-Womb"!  Need I say more.

Lorna


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## karen u

I cant find anywhere online the nhs press release regarding it not being true...has anyone got a direct link...

if you put in the ref number it just brings up ff debate and nothing else.

karen


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## karen u

I have seen that elaine, just wondered if anyone had a link to the direct press release from the nhs so i could see it for real


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## Anthony Reid

We were sent it - Its on our home page.


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## Anthony Reid

And attached.


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## Dee

Feel cynical and sad.

Whatever the outcome of this story, the "culture" within several nationalities of girls being "unacceptable" and inferior to boys is wrong.  It is heartbreakingly sad.

My personal opinion is that a 59 year old woman and a 72 year man having IVF treatment is wrong.

There seem to be conflicting reports in the media as to whether this is true or not.  The NHS is, in my opinion, "vague".

I hope with all my heart that this is all untrue but feel so so cynical because "there is no smoke without fire".


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## jess p

Tony, would it be possible for you, on behalf of FF to make an official complaint to the Press Complaints people?

I really think it's the Sun trying to get people to be anti-ivf - on the back of all the Parliamentary voting last week - seems v suspicious to me that it's happened so close.

I think it's v sad that some people have such an antiquated attitude towards having treatment abroad and false stories like this really don't help our cause.


I've just had my first ever ivf BFP from donor eggs in Greece & have encountered hostility from a locum GP at my surgery - she had the cheek to ask me if I was going back to Greece to have it delivered & "Who would ultimately be responsible for monitoring the pregnancy" and then the classic - "I'm not sure we can pay for these very expensive drugs - I need to see the senior partner and debate it with him"!!

Anyway, glad to see this story hasn't been quite what it first appeared (although not sure that making it up isn't as bad)

Jess xxx


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## ilovesnow

I couldn't find the article on the sun website, so I googled it and found it on the Daily Mail website instead.

Scolling down the readers comments, I found this quote:



> Shoots down the IVF justification of 'if she's going through all the complications of IVF she must really be a responsible person and a wonderful parent'. IVF is just part of the sick entitlement culture.
> 
> - Dan, London, 29/5/2008 9:43


Whoever Dan of London is, he's an idiot.


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## Anthony Reid

Here is an article today about the 'misunderstanding'...

http://www.onlykent.com/20080530/ivf-twin-girls-parents-now-want-them/


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## Blu

And The Sun's follow up:

_THE dad of the IVF twin girls who sparked an adoption row last night said: "We'll bring them up with love."

And the 72-year-old claimed the rumpus was a "misunderstanding".

Maternity unit staff are understood to have feared the couple wanted to put the girls up for adoption because they were the wrong sex.

In some Indian cultures, boys are revered over girls.

But the dad last night insisted he would be at the girls' bedside, explaining: "They are my children - we love my children."

The newborns' half-brother added: "The story has been misunderstood because of a lack of communication.

"My father's English is not good and the person receiving it at the other end must have lost something in translation.

"The twins will be raised as their daughters. They will not be neglected."

The half-brother, who cannot be named for legal reasons, spoke out after The Sun told how the IVF girls were born at New Cross Hospital in Wolverhampton.

The mum, 59, had conceived in India with the help of fertility treatment and returned to England for the birth.

The half-brother, speaking outside the couple's detached home in Birmingham, told how the babies were born "underweight" and had to be cared for in hospital after the birth by Caesarian section.

He said the mum was struggling after the surgery and had been unable to be at their bedside constantly.

The dad, whose first wife died in 1981 after bringing up the couple's only son, last night added: "My second wife has no child, so we went to India."

The parents, who are British citizens, made a show yesterday of visiting the baby girls with the half-brother.

The tots have now been transferred to a Birmingham hospital.

A spokeswoman for West Midlands NHS Trust said: "The parents are attentive to the needs of their daughters." _

Another example of quality journalism - not! The media take no responsibility for the harm they cause. Here they are quick to accuse parents of not wanting their children without confirming facts, yet last week it was the responsibility of Social Services when a child allegedly starved to death (surely the parents are responsible?? and it would appear that Social Services weren't aware of the child as no one had been concerned enough to refer to them   - yet the media blame the Social Workers again and then say they close ranks and refuse to comment - SW's are not allowed to comment due to Data Protection and Information Sharing Laws)

Sorry - will get off my soap box now  

Blu


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## she-hulk

A good percentage of the media are scum.  I've seen it first hand with my own eyes!  They write what they like and destroy lives to sell a story.  I now take most of what I read with a bucketful of salt.


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## Guest

there are no words......     I don't agree that any countries should allow family balancing (except for valid health reasons).....all children are precious regardless of who or what they are (and I'd say that if I had 10 girls of my own   )

DISGRACEFUL

xxx


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## Jane D

Just want to echo everyone elses sentiments.  These people donot deserve children and I am appalled.  They are a stain on our countrys reputation .  Britiain is a place of  equality and compassion.  The story ignites debates about age, culture, donor ivf, treatment abroad - everything the media loves.  Can you imagine if selective ivf became a huge issue abroad. There will be a serious gender imbalance with huge repurcussions.  Then on the other hand there is the possibility that eventually through cloning, women will not need men to reproduce!!  Seriously though this is the sickest story I have read in ages.  

Jane


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## roze

The story appears to have been revised somewhat according to the Lorraine Kelly article today- meaning that the Sun got it wrong.  I'd personally prefer to rely on the more respected press rather than gutter newspapers.

The age thing is an issue but yes its a bit extreme in this case but I have to say that I have also been verbally reprimanded publicly by a couple on a bus  and also in IKEA for declaring I was my six week old daughters mother- at 46. They too thought it was ' disgusting'.


roze


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## faraday

Looks like yet another case of don't believe everything you read. Those poor people to have been so publicly pilloried. Even if the case was true, it was a major breach of confidentiality & if, after an investigation, it appears that medical or nursing staff were responsible for the press involvement I hope they are severely reprimanded. 

Roze, I'm sorry you've had to deal with such bigotry. It's always the people who know the least who shout the loudest. Honestly I'm horrified to be part of such an ignorant nation of small minded bigots.


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## Birdy

Totally sickening!!!

Birdy


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## Han72

Jane D said:


> Just want to echo everyone elses sentiments. These people donot deserve children and I am appalled. They are a stain on our countrys reputation . Britiain is a place of equality and compassion. The story ignites debates about age, culture, donor ivf, treatment abroad - everything the media loves. Can you imagine if selective ivf became a huge issue abroad. There will be a serious gender imbalance with huge repurcussions. Then on the other hand there is the possibility that eventually through cloning, women will not need men to reproduce!! Seriously though this is the sickest story I have read in ages.
> 
> Jane


Did I miss something? I thought we'd established that the Sun's story was untrue? And if Britain is really a place of "equality and compassion" why was everyone so quick to believe the story and jump on the bandwagon of condemnation?

Roze honey, I hope you ignored those ignorant bigots on the bus and in Ikea. What idiots, by uttering those comments, they've just shown themselves up for the stupid people they really are!

Imagine how much more pleasant the world would be if we all took a bit more time to understand the facts rather than jumping to conclusions and judging on the basis of our own, sometimes blinkered, opinions and totally natural prejudices...?

Just a thought...
xxx


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## Guest

Roze - I am shocked that you had that treatment....you thoroughly deserve yuuor child whatever your age    ....Age was never the issue for me with this "story"...

xxx


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