# You are all doing an amazing thing...my own adoption story



## MummyPhinie (Oct 27, 2013)

I have made a Few posts now as I start my journey into adoption. But my eyes were opened a bit last week when I told my dad last week our plans, because it brought it all back when he adopted me and my brother!

I told my sw who did initial visit that I remember things sooo clearly as I as 7 at the time, although talking to my dad I had clearly filtered some things out! I went to 2 FCC before being placed. From my dad's point of view it was extremely stressful with la, the processes back then and it took them a long time to actually get us.

I won't go into circumstances about why I ended up being adopted at that age as it's a long tale and not a nice one at all. 

But I wanted to tell you all that for me and my family.....it is worth it.  I took to them like I had one the lottery, I had a lovely home, 4 grandparents, cousins who loved abroad (which seemed very exotic!) and a life that even at that young age I knew was going to be better than anything I could have ever had before.
I have never thought of them as anything other than my parents, have never felt the urge to contact my birth family. I had a good education, went to uni, am now married with a lovely other half , home and a really good job. Opportunities I would not have had.  

My mum was always open to talking to me about everything as I got older and faced different hurdles, she also withheld some information if I didn't want to know all the details either. I know that initially for the first few years I was a challenge, had overly attached to my brother as his previous main care giver, had difficulties bonding with my dad and other men in my new life but we got there.  She always told me that I was special because I was chosen by her to be their family.  I unfortunately lost my mother 7 years ago, and going through this process is going to seem hard without her, although my dad seems to have really opened up, and if it brings us even closer then that is fab.

I know you all are having difficulties with processes, or challenges with you new LO but me and my family are 27 years down the line and my dad told me last week that he wouldn't change a thing and was the best thing he ever did, and my mum would be so proud of me.  I hope that helps some of you and if anybody wanted to ask me questions then feel free to pm me

X x


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

I think it was fate that I chose your post as the first to read on here today. We bring our little boy home this afternoon after a 18month adoption journey. I hope one day he has such lovely things to say about us as you have your family. Much love to you xx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Phinie thank you so much for this! It's so lovely to hear from an adoptee that being adopted was the best thing that could have happened to you. It definitely makes me feel better as its a natural worry that my children will grow up angry or resentful about things. They will always know they are adopted but filling in the gaps when they are of an appropriate age isn't going to be much fun!


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## twinkletoes13 (Aug 20, 2013)

Hi Phinie,

Thank you so, so much for posting. Reading about stories like yours really makes me helps me get through this process.

We're only really right at the start of the process, and so our experience of adoption is based on books, prep group and the experiences of others. There are so many books about adoption that paint quite a negative picture of the long lasting effects of adoption, but our social worker keeps saying that no one ever writes about the majority of cases where there are no issues that can't be dealt with and everyone is just happy. Posts like yours are evidence of that, and are worth so much more than any book. 

I don't know you, but I am certain that your mum would be very, very proud of you.


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Yes, thank you so much for sharing your story with us, it's so nice to hear such happy stories.

Especially when in the waiting and even early stages, ur post even bought tears to my eyes lol 

Hope your journey ends the same as urs (and ours)

xx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Phinnie - That's a beautiful thing to share, I was much younger when adopted only 6 months or so but despite any bumps we may have love my parents and wouldn't be who I am without them. 

I hope your journey is a smooth one 
xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

What a fabulous post. Thank you so much for sharing


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## oliver222 (Oct 8, 2009)

Fantastic post. As others have said is really lovely to read.


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Thank you.  I have two wonderful children, my son is at the moment at least, as normal, troublesome, hard work and adorable as any other his age.  My daughter is incredible, absolutely out of this world, but things can be very tough for her and I don't honestly know if she will ever fully accept me, or learn to be truly happy.  Some days I'm hopeful, others I try to adjust my hopes and expectations to more realistic levels.  Stories like yours help.  I often hear from people adopted at birth in what I guess I would class as "old" style adoption (i.e. back when being a single mum was frowned on and girls gave babies up, willingly or with the strong encouragement of their families) but this never really seems to resonate with our family situation. 

Best wishes,

Wyxie xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

Tears in my eyes atm.  I hope our son is as happy with us as you have been with your family. My SIL has a similar story but she was adopted at birth in the 60's, she's never been interested in finding her birth family despite losing her mum at a young age.  Much love and luck in your journey xx


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Thank you so much for sharing that.  It is so scary sometimes...it is so lovely to hear from someone with a positive experience xx


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

My adoption was a fabulous experience. I was adopted at 7 but been with my family since I was 5 months. The way I see it was that my mum couldn't grow me in her tummy so another lady did so I could end up where I should be. Well that's what I was told, I'm 36 now and that's just the way I like to look at it lol. Obviously I know why and how I went into care, but my siblings and my parents are just the loves of my life (excluding my DP).

We're going to panal in Dec and the circle of life will hopefully continue 
So thanks for loving your children before they reach your arms, love grows in the heart not in the tummy.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Lovely stories thank you. 
My DH is also adopted and really loves his parents. Never feels like he missed out on anything and never wanted to trace BP. 
He is delighted that I wanted to adopt too 
Xx


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