# Looking to start or going through adoption



## KarenM

Hi girls

Thought I would start a new thread as we seem to be posting in lots of different threads at the minute and some of them are over 12 months old! Any chance one of the global mod gods can lock it off (thanks)?

Becky - good luck for the course, you will find it really interesting. Must be a good day as that is when we start our home study part too.

My SW has said that he thinks we will go to panel in Feb and then given that we are looking to take a sibling group of two children that we should be matched relatively quickly. So my dream of next summer off work should be a reality! You watch though, just because i'm off, we won't have a summer like this one!!

Virginia - Thanks for your IM, I have responded directly to you.

BevH - not sure if you are still considering this as an option, hope you are keeping well and that you and Garry both enjoyed the big 40.

I'm not sure who else is still lurking on the adoption pages either looking to start or like me and Becky are starting on the journey. It would be great to hear from you all.

It is difficult to share some of the information about adoption because of protecting the process, but I will share as much as I can.

Good luck
love
Karen x


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## Mel

Karen,

I see you have your SW visit today - hope all goes well - will be thinking of you, i cannot believe how far you have come (especialy after all those little hiccups with placing you with a SW)

hugs

Mel

x x


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## KarenM

Carol and Mel

Thanks for your good wishes, but it looks like the hiccups are continuing.

We had a phone call at nine o clock to say he was sick. It seems like we have been allocated the social worker from hell as all he seems to do is be on holiday or be off sick. Hopefully if it all goes to plan we should have the kids in April which means it will have taken 14 months in all, but it is now 4 months since we finished our course without any further progress.

He is due round again next Wednesday, so watch this space!

Love
Karen x


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## Mel

Karen

What can i say - SW's are well i cant repeat it 

I hope he jolly well gets off his sick bed by next weds otherwise we will have to go drag him out.

Mel

x x


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## KarenM

Well news from Social Services. Our Sw is now going to be on long term sick so won't be able to do our case, so we have now officially been reallocated to another social worker who will be contacting us in the next few days to get the ball moving again.

Thankfully this time they didn't have to wait for me to call them, they actually rang me.

The allocations manager has said that if god forbid something goes wrong with this allocated SW then she will personally deal with our case.

So no SW visit as per the calendar tomorrow, but hopefully a whole series of appointments will be sorted by the end of the week.

Hope everyone else on the adoption journey is doing well.

I'll keep you all posted.
Love
Karen x


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## Jo

Karen
Glad to they rung you.
Hope you can get some appointments sorted by the end of the week, sounds like they are trying to get it sorted, so they should
Take care
Love Jo
x x x


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## Bev H

Dear Karen
How many more times are they going to mess you around ^furious^ ^furious^ ^furious^  
Let's hope they finally get their act together and finally get things on motion - poor children having to wait again........ Good luck, love Bev H xxx


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## Mel

Karen

What are those SW's playing at  - i am glad that they rang you at least - i hope they get there act together and see you soon for your sake - or is it for there sake if us lot get hold of them  ^furious^.

Lots love

Mel

x x


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## KarenM

Good News!! (well I won't hold my breath given events over recent weeks)

I have made contact with our new SW and she is coming round next Thursday. She sounds really nice and will hopefully get us back on track.

I'll keep you all posted.

Love
Karen x


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## SueL

Nice on Karen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully the new SW is better than the last!

Love Sue
xxxxxxxx


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## Allie K

Karen,

Glad that things seem to be on the up with the new SW. 

Hope things will now get moving for you. 

Love 

Allie


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## Juel

Hi Karen
Glad to here that things are moving again for you..another step closer!!
luv
juel xx


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## *Kim*

Hi Karen

Hope it wont be too long now, and this new SW has some common sense and gets things moving.

Love Kim x x x


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## Mel

Karen,

great news - look forward to hearing that you had a succesful visit and your new SW is fab (lets hope so )

Love

Mel

x x


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## SueL

Dear Karen and dh

Just noticed you have a s/w visit today and it's the first one!!!!!!!

Hope it all goes smoothly and you aren't tooooo nervous!

Wishing you all the best

Good luck
Love Sue
xxxxxxx


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## LizzyB

Karen,

Lots of luck with the new S/W today - i hope she gets things moving for you again,

Much love, Lizzy xx


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## KarenM

Well at long last things are finally moving. I was so nervous today, didn't really know what to expect.

She has basically set up six dates with us to do the assessment. Next week I am having my individual meeting with her, when I will have to talk to her about my childhood, education, employment, relationships etc. I also have to prepare a written piece on this too.

She's taken alot of details from us today and is now starting to generate some of the stuff that we will need to do.

I am feeling alot more relieved that things are finally happening . Will wait to see what the rest of the process brings but just pleased to have got this far now .

Will keep you all updated. Thanks for the good wishes.

Love
Karen x


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## Mel

Karen

I am so pleased that at long last things are getting there, i have been waiting for your post and its fantastic matey.

You take care

mel

x x


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## SueL

Glad today went well and you can move forward again Karen!

Love Sue
xxxxx


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## KarenM

Sue

I have just seen your bio at the bottom of your message OMG I can't believe I have missed your news.

Can understand the scared feelings, but have my fingers toes and everything crossed for your scan.

Love
Karen x


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## Mummytoone

Karen

This is just so exciting now, Ive been thinking about you today wondering how things were going.

Imagine the day is coming up soon when you announce to us your new family!!

Im so excitied for you

Love Lou xxx


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## sophie

Hi Karen

Fantastic news! So pleased that you have some progress at last.

Lots of luck

Sophie
xx


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## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Well I had my own individual meeting with the SW today which went very well. Rich has got his on Monday, and then we have one further visit before Christmas.

After that we have three appointments in the New year, by which time she will hopefully have everything they need for this part of the process. We then have to have our documents pulled together into a portfolio and then we go to panel to be formally approved.

Just between last Thursday and this, there has been alot of work to do, on top of what is already a really busy time at work and to top it all off, we are in the middle of having our double glazing done at home so the house is a right tip.

I can't believe we are finally at the stage where bit by bit we can see the progress towards our dream right before our very eyes.

Hope everyone else is well.

I'll keep you all updated.
Love
Karen x


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## Hope 2 B

Hi there 


Im SO glad things are moving for you at last ! 

Take care 

Love Gail xxxx


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## cindyp

Hi Karen

Congratulations on getting so far in your process. It sounds like you are nearly there. I haven't posted on this thread before but I have been reading it for a long time because adoption was always a possibility for us.

We actually started adoption procedures 4 yrs ago following unsuccesful IUI and got as far as the initial workshop. We hadn't considered IVF at the time because of the expense/emotional commitment. We ended up taking the SW advice that we should be certain we were happy in our own lives. We moved house to the country and my DH changed his job. In the end we decided to give IVF a go because our if was unexplained and we realised we would always wonder "What was the problem? What if IVF had worked?". The fact of the matter is now it hasn't worked although we still don't know why, and we are going back to plan A.

I've already contacted my two local authorities, Staffordshire and Derbyshire (we're on the border). The impression I get is that Staffordshire are efficient but the woman didn't sound sympathetic. It was sort of "under fives, you'll be lucky", but I received their information form within 24hrs. The Derbyshire placement officer sounded nice but I'm still waiting for the form 2 days later. We plan to go for two siblings as we both come from large families and think (perhaps wrongly) that it's better than being an only child.

I've read the Ann Morris book and found it very informative. Although unfortunately, the book and the information form have reminded me of what we are going to be putting ourselves through. Simply the form has made me realise that there are things I still need to consider, like who will be the children's guardians if we die. This is not something that you ever think about when you're a "natural" parent. Also pg only takes 9 months, adoption can be a lot longer.

I am scared that I will find the process to be long, frustrating and intrusive and I did go through a period of not wanting to bother. Part of me wanted to run away and forget about it all, but my DH correctly pointed out to me that I would regret it later in my life and that a lifetime of opportunity is worth a year or two of aggravation/frustration.

I will be grateful for any advice you can offer and will keep you updated on my progress.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Sorry I haven't replied sooner, but my PC has been away for an upgrade and i only got it back tonight.

Good luck with the process. I have a friend at work who did her adoption through Staffs and she said they were very nice. I am with Wolverhampton. Like you I'm on the border! We actually live in Shropshire, postally we are West Midlands and the Staffs broder is only a mile away. We started with Shropshire but they cancelled their open evening and won't let you start without it, so we opted for Wolverhampton instead.

We have had a few hiccups. It took them 3 months post course to assign us to an SW and then the one they assigned us to went on long term sick. We now have a very nice SW who is progressing things along at a nice pace. We have had 4 visits with her so far, one each and two together. We have a further 3 planned for the new year and she anticipates that we will go to panel in late Feb, early March.

To help us along, we have tried to do as much as we possibly can on the home study part. There is a fair bit that is self explanatory and so we have done what we can in that area. It has helped speed up the home study stuff we are doing now.

I haven't found the process to be intrusive yet and don't expect it to be. I haven't felt I've needed to watch what I am saying for fear of it being taken the wrong way.

keep me posted with how you get on. you never know, christmas in our houses could be very different next year!!

Good luck
Love
Karen x


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## cindyp

Karen, thank you for the reply. It sounds like you will hopefully be taking a new family on holiday in the summer. You must be counting down the months now. I understand that your SW said that you should be matched quite quickly as you are going for a sibling group, I assume that you are going for pre-school age children? 

It was comforting to hear that your friend found Staffs nice, their SW phoned up today to arrange an initial visit. I didn't speak to her but Lee said she sounded very nice and friendly on the phone. Derbyshire don't do initial visits but we will be going to their open evening at the end of January. I've also contacted BAAF and received some info from them. The "Be My Parent" magazine is a bit heartwrenching, isn't it? You can't help but feel sorry for all them children wanting homes. 

Like you we will be going for a sibling group, we would like under 5's although our age is against us. However in our favour, we have a reasonable size house, good health, non-smokers, Lee is an Educational Care Officer and I'm self-employed and will be able to take the time off work. We also have a large family and plenty of experience of looking after kids (we take my sisters' 4 kids on holiday every year!).

Also is they are anything like the last SW I met, their eyes will light up because I am dark skinned. My maternal grandfather came from South America, although the rest of my family are white and my sisters are blonde like my Dad. She asked if we would be interested in 3 mexican children. Although they do seem quite hot on this "reflect or help the children identify with their cultural identity" so I'm sure they will realise that I have no experience in plaiting corn rows and to be honest I have no strong desire to have to research the history of the Carribbean or any other country.

I hope you have a really good Xmas and that the next few months fly.

love
Cindy


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## Bev H

Hi Karen
Glad things are happening for you and Rich at long last. Thinking about you and just want to wish a Merry Christmas and I know that 2004 will be a fantastic year for you.
Lots of love Bev H xxxx


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Yes we are going for a sibling group. We are looking at two under 4's (was originally going to be under 3's but decided to widen our bracket a bit). I can't wait for my six months off work and I am really hoping that things time in well for the summer months. We've not planned any holidays as yet, but will no doubt be doing something.

I looked at the Be my parent magazine when we were doing our training. it is heart wrenching but also you can quickly fall in love with some of those faces staring back at you. I fell in love with a set of twin boys who were 15 months old, but obviously at that stage there is nothing you can do.

My friends kids have some bits for our portfolio, some of them are really sweet and have really tugged on our heart strings. They want this just as much as us.

Hope you have a very Merry Christmas and that like me hopefully next year will bring what you desire.

Bye for now 
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Hi Bev

Must catch up on things via IM at some point. Nice to hear from you. Things are moving along really well and hopefully we should be getting matched to our new children in about March / April time, so here comes next summer!

I have already had one of my Xmas pressies, as Rich has treated me to a flight to the USA to visit my sister and my nieces. So it is all booked and I am off on 7th Feb.

Hope you have a really good Xmas and that 2004 brings you wnat you desire.

Speak soon
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Hi Folks

Well Christmas is now over (hopefully the last one on our own) and we are back on the treadmill getting everything ready. We have both got our medicals on Friday, beacuse they are not required under the NHS we have to pay, charges vary according to surgeries, but ours is going to be £75 for the two of us.

We have got our next SW visit on 15th and then a further 2 appointments after that. We should then have finsihed our home study part and will go to panel. Then the waiting really starts as that's when we can offically be matched.

I am really looking forward to getting in the shops and buying some things. Mind you I've decided to get a few bits beforehand, like a stair gate and monitors. They can be used whatever sex or age so I won't be wasting my money, the rest I can't really do until we know more about any prospective children.

Hope it is all going well for the rest of you. Keep me posted.

Love Karen x


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## SueL

Dear Karen

Not long now for you. One of the girls at work approached me in September last year as she is adopting and we have discussed alternative working for her when she returns! She has her panel assessment today and will let me know tomorrow whether she's been successful.

I so wish you good luck, you really really have stuck at it and will make wonderful parents!

Love Sue
xxxxxxx


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## cindyp

Hi Karen

Happy New Year to you and I hope you had a good Xmas. I've not been on-line for a while as my computer was poorly.

Glad to hear things are progressing for you, and a holiday too! That's the sort of Xmas pressie I'd like, you and your sister must be counting down the days. Does she live in a warm part of the US, I hear it's in the seventies in Florida.

We didn't bother with buying each other pressies as we are saving for a holiday at Easter. We're thinking that we'd better get the relaxing, hotel/beach holidays in while we still can, emphasis on the relaxing bit. So we're going for one in Easter and hopefully a second one in June.

The Staffordshire SW came for an initial visit last week. She was very nice and explained that there would be a 3 day course followed by home visits before going to panel and that the process should take 4-6 months following the course. We explained that we were also applying with Derby City Social Services and that we couldn't make a decision until after we'd seen them at the end of Jan. We told her that it would depend on which social services offered the best chance of adopting younger children. She was very nice about this and said that they had quite a few potential adopters wanting younger children and not many young children. Lee asked if she could provide some statistics to give us a better idea. She said that she'd do this and also provisionally book us onto the course for March in case we decided to go with them.
She has since phoned to say that things are more optimistic than she thought. It seems that although most of the potential adopters in Staffordshire want younger children, most of them want single children only, not siblings like us. Also it appears that they have 10 more "under twos" possibly coming up for adoption.

Part of me wants to rush in and sign up with Staffordshire but we will be sensible and not limit our options until we have to. It's only because I'm a little down at the moment (my baby's due date was yesterday) and also because I'm not the type of person who likes waiting for anything. I'm going to concentrate on making the time pass quicker by concentrating on the New Year's diet/excercise regime.

If I don't get back on again, have a great holiday.

love
Cindy


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## cindyp

PS: What's the portfolio? Is this like a life history you have to compile? What goes into it?

Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Hope you had a good Christmas and New Year too. I managed to undo some of my weight loss from last year and managed to gain an extra half a stone (I lost 2 and a half stone last year). I have managed to shed 3lb already since Christmas but want to shed the rest before I go and see my sister.

My sister lives in a place called Roanoke in Virginia, she moved there in August last year having lived previously in New Orleans for 6 years. It is a bit scary with all the news at the moment, as I am flying in to Washington. 

Good news about the SW visit and good that she came back to you with an honest assessment of the situation. Not long to wait now until the end of the month for your visit from Derbyshire.

We were a bit like you last year, get the holidays in whilst we can. Some of them I was there thinking "OMG this time next year I might not be able to lie here on my sun lounger basking" and then others (like camping with our friends and their children) were more like " This time next year I will be playing on the beach with MY children".

I will IM you about the portfolio, but you will find out all of what you can expect soon enough!!!

Sorry to hear you are feeling down a bit too. I can empathise on the patience thing, but I vowed not to get myself stressed as I would not portray myself properly to the adoption people. I threw myself in to yoga last year. I was very unhappy about our IF situation and my weight and it has helped me to tone up as well as allowing me to focus my energy and learn to relax.

Hopefully we will speak again soon, if not good luck for the end of the month.

Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Cindy

Have tried to IM you, but your in box is saying it is full.

Will try again soon.

Love
Karen x


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## sophie

Hi

Thought I would share this story with you as it brought tears to my eyes.

Almost a year ago to the day a friend of mine adopted a brother and sister, the most gorgeous children ever. This was after years of the most horrible IF nightmares - OHSS etc etc. 

Anyway they have just spent their first christmas as a family and my friend is now one of the happiest people I know. On Christmas morning the childern both came through to open their christmas stockings which Santa had left on their beds (all the other pressies were downstairs under the tree). After finding hair bands, note pads, sweets etc the little girl said to my friend, "mummy, I must have been such a good girl this year because I've never had so many lovely presents before at christmas". 


This of course reduced my friend to tears - especially since there were still masses of presents downstairs to open, along with all the relatives who would come later with pressies.

Anyway thought this was a nice story to share with you on this thread

Love
Sophie
xxxx


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## lyn10111

Hi to everyone

I haven't posted for about nine months and lost my password (was Lyn1011). I have been following all the happy and sad events and it is wonderful to see the fantastic results of "old" cycle buddies.

Dh and I are finally going to become a mummy and daddy as we have accepted a 3 month old baby girl from Eastern Europe. We are hoping to go and fetch her within the next two months. This is so exciting after all the dissappointment and devastation of the fertility roundabout.

To everyone adopting - it's a long hard road ahead. But all the effort is really really worth it.

Lyne


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## LB

Sophie

we don't need tearjerky movies with stories like that - fabulous thanks for sharing that

special hug to your friend she must be overjoyed

LB
X


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## SueL

Hi

Sophie - yes a real tearjerker story! They must be so made up!

Lyne - congratulations! Wow what a journey you must have been on! Let us know when your little girl is with her mummy and daddy!

Love Sue
xxxxxxxx


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## KarenM

Sophie

That is just how I am imagining myself this Christmas.  I can't wait to do all the stuff for the kids (Rich can't wait to drink the whisky they will leave out for Santa!). This Xmas, I brought two really large Christmas bags which it is my intention to use like a stocking, and fill it with crayons, colouring books and things, and then like your friend have the main stuff under the tree.

Although I say I would like to have been placed with the children by the summer to enjoy what will hopefully be a warm one. The thing for me that is more important is that there is more than just me and Rich for Xmas.

I can just imagine how your friend feels and can't wait for that feeling myself.

Lyn - Good luck with your adoption. I haven't looked into adopting from abroad so would be interested to what you have had to do. We are about to go to panel to be formally approved and then be matched with our children.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

Hi Folks

Well it looks like we are on the homeward run now. We had another SW visit today and she told us that we are aiming to go to panel to be formally approved on 22nd April. If we can manage to get everything done in time we will try to make the panle on 25th march, but April is a definite.

We have another SW visit next week, and then I'm off to the States for a week to see my sister. When I get back we have got to do some work in a nursery, as it has been such a long while since we have had direct care (babysitting, kids staying over) of any kids.

I can't believe it is all coming together.

Carol - welcome to the board. Hope it all goes well with your preparation course. it will be a lot of work to do in a short space of time if they are going to fast track you. We have been seeing our SW since November and had done quite a bit to move us along before we started seeing her. Once you have done your course, you will do a home study after you have completed that you will go to panel to be formally approved and then they match you with a child/children. During your home study you will determine ages, and factors associated with the children yoou are looking to adopt. They will then use this to match you.

Good luck

I'll keep you all posted. Hope fully not long now until I am telling you about my children.

Take care
love
Karen x


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## Jo

Cant wait to hear about your children Karen  

Have a great time in the states, and I will be watching the progress to you finally getting your dreams

Take care
Love Jo
x x x


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## Bev H

Hi Karen
This is fantastic news - you're on the home straight! Have a great time in USA and no doubt you'll be buying a few little things for your children  
Much love, Bev H xxxxxx


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## Mummytoone

OMG Karen, this is fantastic.

You are to be the first FF adoptive Mummy!!!!!!!!

Cant wait

Love Lou xxxx


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## poppyuk

still waiting on a date for my sw to come and see us at home. how long will it take i sent my papers of for adoption at xmas week ? anyone know. can not wait to start the ball rolling poppyuk


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## KarenM

Hi Poppy

It depends on what way round your local authority do things. We started with one authority who said we couldn't do anything until we attended an open evening (which they then cancelled). So we went with another authority who sent an SW round to see us within 3 weeks of us calling. We then had to do some parperwork which took about a month to complete, and then had to do a course.

Like I say it depends how your authority operates. Good luck with the process, it is really hard work, but I am sure it will be worth it.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## poppyuk

karen im from manchester is the course realy hard to do ?.
thanks poppyuk xxx


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## KarenM

Poppy

The course is really interesting and really opens your eyes up to wha is involved in adoption. we had some fixed ideas before we went on the course and what we learnt changed our thinking a bit. You will learn alot.

Good luck
Love
Karen x


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## Flo

Hi Karen,
Really exciting to see that everything is moving quite quickly now. Have a lovely time in the US with your sister.

Looking forward to hearing the nest installment of your news and then, finally, the news we are all looking forward to hear.....that you and Rich have been matched with some children and can begin family life together.

Not long now,

Flo
x


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## cindyp

Hi Karen

Sorry I haven't replied to your message, I've been off-line for quite a whole whilst my laptop was fixed (PC World don't go there!!!). I believe you're on holiday at the moment, so I hope you're having a great time. It must be great to know that you'll be going to panel in less than 3 months. I'm sure that you'll be approved and I hope that you get matched up quickly.

Well Lee and I attended the Derbyshire information evening this week and we've had to decide which authority to go with, them or Staffordshire. It's been a very difficult decision as both authorities offered something. In the end we decided to go with Staffordshire. Derbyshire would probably have more children available (they are partnered with other authorities) but in the end it came down to the personalities involved. Unllike the Staffordshire SW, the SW at the Derby meeting gave the impression that the adopters are commodities rather than people. I totally agree with them that the children come first, but we are people too. Although the children's needs are paramount, our needs should also be taken into account.

Unfortunately the Staffordshire SW was out of the office but we've left a message to say we will go with them, and hopefully we'll be attending a preparation course in March. In the meantime, it's my birthday in Feb and my DH is going to take me to Paris for a couple of days. We've also got friends coming to visit for our annual Asbourne Shrovetide pi** up. Hopefully it will be our last one and there'll be no more pub crawls for us next year.

Carol, it looks like you'll be ahead of us, I hope it goes well next week, I've been told that you learn a lot on these courses. Let us know how you get on.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

I'm still here at the moment, I don't go until 7th Feb.

Glad to hear that you and dh have come to a decision about which authority to go with. We were due for our last visit today but the SW cried off because of the weather, but we have rescheduled for Monday.

You are very right about personailities. The SW plays a vital role in your post course work and given some of the things you have to talk about you need to feel comfortable in the company of that person to talk open and honestly. We were assigned to a social worker at the start who then went on long term sick. Just the initial few conversations with him, I didn't feel right. The SW we now have is lovely and although it has taken us a bit longer to get where we are now, I am really pleased that we have got her.

I hope that you get allocated to the course in March. A friend who did her course with Staffs has lent me some of their literature to help us.

Keep me posted with how you are getting on. If there is anything else you need to know, just let me know and I will IM you. Good luck

Love
Karen x


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## Laine

Hi Karen,

I just wanted to say how wonderful it is to hear that you are nearly there.

Fantastic!

Laine x


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## KarenM

Hi everyone

Well we had our rescheduled SW visit on monday because of the horrendous weather last week. We have only got 2 more things to do now before we finish the home study part of the process. We have one last visit with the SW on 2nd March to pull everything together and then we will go to panle for definite on 22nd April. Although if we can get everything together sooner then it will be 25th March (but to be honest it will be pushing it and i'd rather have everything right).

Between now and 2nd March we have got to put together our family book which will be given to the children at the introductory stage so that they know who we are and about our friends and where they night be living.

After all these months I'm still having to pinch myself that we have really got this far.

I know there is a few of you starting your courses this week, so i hope everything is going well for you and that the whole process is making more sense. Good luck to you all.

I'm going to be off line for a week or so from Friday, but I will kepp you all posted.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Jo

Karen.
Very soon you will have your very well deserved children at home with you.

All the very best for the next few weeks.

Take care, this is it Karen, you are so close to getting your dreams  

Love Jo
x x x


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## cindyp

Carol,

That is great news. I'm so pleased for you. Where did you see your little girl? Was it in Be My Parent? 

I'm afraid that Lee and I are not as brave as you. We feel that we could cope with children who are "developmentally delayed" but we're not sure we could cope with illness/disability. It's a hard thing to say, but we spent the first years of our married life caring for Lee's seriously ill father, with constant visits to various hospitals, and do not feel that we can go through that again.

Now that we've decided to go with Staffordshire, the SW is coming next Monday to fill in the paperwork. We're booked for our preparation course in March. I had been told before that it's intense. When we started adoption procedures 4 years ago we did a mini evening version which was quite illuminating. I think because they've shortened the whole process they make the course longer to make sure that people really understand what they are committing to.

I hope the next 4 months flies by for you.

love
Cindy


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## mitzy

Hello just thought I'd drop a line on this site as I've just discovered it. I've just got through the process of adoption after a long time (18 months) felt even longer sometimes!!

Anyway reaching the stage I'm at now where I know I'm going to be a mum is a fantastic feeling and makes all the hard work well worth while.

I agree with the comments on sw that they are either on holiday or off sick especially when its time to see you!! Anyway we were really lucky to have a great sw it makes the whole process a lot easier if you have a good one.

Anyway enough of me rambling on. Good luck to everybody thinking about or on the adoption path. Its nice to share thoughts and stories or just answer each others questions.

Best wishes


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## Mummytoone

Just wanted to congratulate Carol on nearly becomming a mummy to their little girl they are adopting.

What a lovley happy ending for the little girl, keep us all informed. 

Love lou xxx


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## Bev H

Dear Carol
What wonderful news for you - roll on June!!
Best wishes, Bev H xxx




Karen - not long to go   
Take care, love Bev H


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## Laine

Hi Carol,

Fantastic news.....you will soon be a mummy.

Laine x


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## Boomerang girl

new to the adoption option- actually would go for it straight away but scared of being rejected and wasting nhs fertility attempts and ending up with no family. Seriously- if I could take in two sibs, under 4 tomorrow I would. Just scared wouldn't be approved


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

I'm now back from the states and finally managed to get my body clock back into some kind of normality (whatever that is).

Carol - good news about your match. I hope things go smoothly for you during the home study part. be prepared for some strange questions!!

Cindy - hope your SW visit went well today and good news about the course scheduled for March

Now I'm back I've got to carry on getting pictures of the family to put in our book. It's not that easy with my sister and her family in the States (took one of them all on her digital camera to send back to me, last week) and dh's niece at Uni. Hopefully we should be finished soon. Just one more visit to go on 2nd March and then everything needs to be prepared for panel.

Well back to the grindstone tomorrow. I can't wait to have my six months off work.

Speak soon.
Love
Karen x


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## *Kim*

Good luck Karen.

I cant wait to see the post from you telling us your a mum. You have been through so much you really deserve for this to go right.

All the best and i will keep an eye out for that post.

Love Kim x x x


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## Bev H

Hi Karen

Welcome home and soon you'll have the children at home too!!! I am sooo excited for you all 
Love and hugs, Bev H xxx


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## cindyp

Hi Karen,

Welcome back, I'm sure you must have had a great time, worth all the jet lag. Not long to go, just a few more weeks and you'll be approved to be a Mummy. I hope you get matched up just as quickly.

We've completed all our forms for the Criminal Records check and the SW is preparing a report on us for her boss so that they can assign us our official home visit SW. As the prep course is just in 4 weeks time, the visits won't start until after and then we've been told it should take approx 6 months from then to go to panel. So hopefully we'll be approved for Xmas. It seems some of the SW's live only 5 miles away, so she said they'll be fighting over us  

We're going to make the most of the next few months and do all the non-child friendly activities. We've got friends coming up tomorrow and we'll have the annual major Shrovetide pub crawl and then we're going to Paris for a couple of days sight-seeing. (I'd like to point out that we're not raving alcoholics, just raving!).

Hope everyone has a good week.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi Cindy

Glad to hear that things are finally moving for you. It will be really exciting if you can get approved before Xmas. We had quite a delay(nearly 5 months) following our course before being assigned and actually seeing a SW. Our home study part given that we had Xmas in the middle has taken us about 3 months. So given those time scales you could be approved and have kids by Xmas.

We are off to the nursery on Monday as part of the process 9we have had to do this as we have not had direct care for children i.e. babysitting for quite some time) so we should have some fun. I'm spending this weekend getting pictures of friends and family to put in our book.

We were like you last year and did all the non child friendly things. We had 5 holidays (3 full weeks and and 2 long weekends)!!! Having said that though, we are the only couple in our group of friends who don't have kids and sometimes they are out socialising more than us, so I don't think it is going to change us too radically. 

Bev and Kim - thanks for your good wishes. I too can't wait until I'm posting to tell you about my new family.

Take care everyone

Love
Karen x


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## everhopeful

Hello! Hope you don't mind me joining this board??!!
Have received my invite to very first half day information course next month, and I'm feeling excited!
Know we've got a lot to go through, but after IVF, I feel I'm ready to tackle the adoption process now! 
With this at least we feel there's more hope of us getting our family at the end of it.
I'll keep popping up every now and again looking for advice and info. Hope you all don't mind!
Good luck to everyone else in the same boat

xx


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## Ann

Hello Everyone 

I thought that I would post on here as there seems to be a few of us going thru this at the moment .... it is so exciting and it is great to share experiences once again with people in the same situation.
We had our visit from the social worker last week - and since then we have been booked on to our preparation course in April, filled out our crb check forms and been given dates for our medicals on March... phew! She was really lovely and helpful - lets hope it is as good as this all the way thru! Once we have completed the course in April we would start our home assessment pretty much straight away and she reckons it would take 4 - 5 months to complete and go to panel! We have said tha we are prepared to take on a family of 2 - 3 children and she seemed to think that it all could happen very fast as there are so many out there waiting - it is just a case of the right match.
We are looking forward to the next few months as well as being very anxious about the whole process - it should help that I have a 2 week holiday booked in June to spend some girly time with my best friend in Canada and then both of us are going back to Canada in August for a couple of weeks seeing as my best friends hubby is also my hubby's best mate!!! so hopefully in the midst of all the paperwork we can relax a little 
I know how great everyone has been on here thru IVF and I am sure it will not change thru this - I am looking forward so much to this exciting time in all of our lives!

Lots of love to everyone on this amazing journey to becoming parents

Ann xx


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

I can't believe how many of us there are now heading along this journey.

The process can be long and sometimes stressful but I am sure it will all be worth it in the end. For me my dream Christmas could be happening this year!!!!

We have our last visit from the Social Worker on Tuesday. I am spending today putting the finishing touches to our family book. I might have to get another picture taken of me and Rich together as we had one taken this morning after a heavy night out last night and my eyes look like the proverbial holes in the snow!! Don't want to scare any prospective children off!

Our referees are having their visits on Wednesday and then all that has to be done is for the SW to put the paperwork together for panel. We are due to go to panel on 22nd April.

I am so excited. My Mum and Dad go away at the end of April and Mum keeps saying to me " I might come back a Grandma again". I can't wait to be organising the party for when the children officially become ours. We are thinking that after the 13 weeks when we get official legal custody of the children that we might have a naming ceremony at our house. I saved the top tier of my wedding cake and thought this would be a good way of using it. 

I just want to know who we are going to be matched with and when so I can get out in the shops and start buying things. I brought Finding Nemo and Toy Story yesterday. The children we get matched with might not be old enough to understand them when they come to us but I thought they would be a good future investment.

Cindy - hope the visit went well and you enjoyed your Shrovetide knees up!! Good luck for the prep course - what date in March do you start.

Ann - make the most of those holidays. We crammed in 5 last year as we are not sure if we will be able to go away this year. We too are going for a sibling group, but only 2. Good luck for your prep course.

Carol - it must seem weird to know that you have been matched already. How old is the little girl that you have been matched with?

To anyone else on this journey, hope everything is ok with you.

Best of luck everyone
Speak soon
Love
Karen x


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## Laine

Karen,

I so enjoyed reading your post.

It is so wonderful that you will be parents soon.

Laine x


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## Mel

Karen

Fantastic that you are getting so close to having your child/children, i was weeping just reading your post, you have come such a long way and we have been lucky enough to have been included in your journey, it is just fantastic reading that you are nearly there to being a very special mummy and daddy to a very special child/children.

I wish you lots of luck and love

Mel

x x


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## Mel

Carol

June will be here before you know it and Sarah will be a very lucky little girl to have you and your dh as parents, its all wonderful on this thread and i love hearing that all your dreams are coming true.

Mel

x x


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## Dee

Karen

Just wanted to wish you both loads of love and luck for your SW visit tomorrow .. you are very nearly there - your dream is about to come true!

Love
Dee
xxx


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## cindyp

Karen, 7 weeks and you'll be presented to panel!! That's great news. Finding Nemo and Toy Story are both great films, I can also recommend Ice Age. Sometimes it's a difficult process finding films the kids can enjoy that you can also sit through. My poor old mother had to sit the whole way throught the Pokemon Movie. As a woman who's been unable to sit through a whole episode I had to sympathise. I know what you mean about the photos, I think I might need to find someone who can do airbrushing 

Carol, it must be so exciting to know that you're going to be a mummy by the summer. Will they give you a photo of your little Sarah? Do you have any plans to help you get through the next 3 months?

Ann, 4-5 months sounds good, we were told 6-8, they must be keen to get you approved. Your holidays sound a great way to pass the time between now and panel. What age siblings are you going for?

We made the most of what will hopefully be our last Shrovetide celebration for a long while. Our friends all came up and 12 of us covered as many pubs in Ashbourne as we possible could. I must confess that there were some impromptu Karaoke sessions, all good fun but I won't miss it when we have our family (well maybe just a little bit ). Paris was also great, we were sitting in a romantic restaurant on the Friday night. A pianist was playing in the corner, we were eating a delicious meal washed down with a nice bottle of red wine. My husband took my hand romantically and said:

"So we want to give this all up and change nappies?"

He was only 90% joking, I must admit sometimes when you think of all the things we have to get through to get our family it sometimes seems easier to give up, get good jobs and have lots of nice holidays. I watched that "Who Rules the Roost?" on BBC3 the other night and there was a 3yo boy having a major tantrum. It Having done some major child caring in the past (we regularly take my 4 neices/nephew on holiday) it reminded me of some of the hassles that can come with parenting. Some people only want their own children, and I respect that, but like everyone on this thread we want a family above all, whether they our biologically ours or not, to love and cherish (and to change their nappies ).

Our dates have come through for the prep course on 23rd March, our friends and my parents have also received their reference forms to complete, so we are definitely on our way. In the meantime we're going to try and fit in two foreign holidays at Easter and Whitsun and do lots of things you can't do with 2 under fives.

Looking forward to everybody's updates.

love
Cindy


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## KarenM

Hi everyone

Cindy - Glad you enjoyted the shrovetide festivities and your trip to Paris. Rich and I often think what we would do if we weren't doing this and normally it involves sunnier climbs.

Good luck for the course on the 23rd, I am sure you will find it really interesting and thought provoking. I just have one meeting now with the social worker to help put together all the paperwork, as it will have to be with the panel on 8th April. I have done most of our stuff on the computer so it is only me and the SW. Tuesday's session was quite tough because we were putting together our matching requirements and it feels really strange to be choosing when if we had children of our own some of these things we are saying yes and no to would be out of our control. It almost seems fussy in some ways.

Carol - good luck with your next visit. It is surprising that once things get started how quickly it all comes together.

Well having had a manic week at work this week and rich being out, I'm off to take the opportunity of an early night, better make the most of these!!

Take care and speak soon
Love
Karen x


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## molly2003

hi again i have got my letter to start our 2 day course in may, 9.30 untill 3.30. for adoption   we have had our 1st visit that went well. then hope to have 5 home visits the police and meds to do then it will go to the pannel were looking at the middle of next year to be placed witha baby. hopping and can not wait to get doing the bedroom.. hope you are all well and ok.
i have got a app with the doc at the ivf clinic to see what i want to do with my 3 embryos we have left. 
see you all soon ang oxoxo


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## KarenM

Carol

Hope yesterday went well with the SW, we panicked about some of the questions at first too, but when they come they will put them into context for you. You might have to do some written work for some of the questions. Have they given you the form F? There is some sections on there for foster carers but others for adopters. let us know how you got on.

Ang - great news about the course, you will find it really interesting. What have they said are your chances of adopting a baby, as each Social Services area varies? Be prepared for some costs with the medical, our local surgery charged us about £37 each for our medicals.

Well not long for us now. Our SW is now coming on 23rd March so we can sit and put all our paperwork together to present to panel on 22nd April. You get to choose if you go or not so we are going to attend, not sure what to expect though.

Cindy - hope you are well, let us know how your course is going.

Bye for now
Love
Karen x


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## Ann

I hope you are all well..... We had our medicals today and we were really pleased as our doctor did'nt charge us for it  he said we had, had enough to pay out for with our treatment.... what a lovely man  we both seem fit and healthy and we are now just waiting for the preparation course in April. I guess this is how it is all along... waiting between appts.

Carol - hope your visit went well
Karen - you will be going to panel very soon! I bet you cant believe it.
Ang - I think you and I will be on a similair time scale 
which will be nice to have someone to buddy with!
Cindy - it looks like there will be 3 of us together! you are like us trying to have as many hols as we can this year as it will all change soon

lots of love Ann xxx


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## Dee

A link to your new home, girls

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/*********/index.php?board=19;action=display;threadid=7234

Love and luck to you all
Dee
xxx


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