# Can I have a hug please ....



## TraceyK (Oct 9, 2005)

Hi all,

I had two pieces of news on News Years Eve. The first is that my current round of Clomid hadn't worked, because the dreaded period started with a vengeance. So I spent my morning feeling very sorry for myself, really low. And then mid-afternoon my best friend's husband phoned my dh to tell him to tell me that his wife was pregnant. I felt totally stabbed in the back. Throughout the clomid cycles I chatted to her daily about what was due to happen when etc, and we even went abroad together before Christmas - and while away was giving her updates. But the phone call told my dh that she knew while she was away with us. She knew that New Year's Eve was the day I'd find out if I was pregnant or not - yet this was the day she decided to tell us. I just don't understand why. I thought she was a good friend, but I'm left feeling numb. Not only could she not be bothered to tell me herself, but to find out on such an important day for me I think is cruel. I honestly felt it was my turn next, but now I feel pressured like I'm copying everyone. 

I feel so empty today. This is the worst I've ever been on clomid. I know the drug works - it did last time for me - but it so bl***dy screws your head up.

Am I being totally stupid to keep my distance from this friend for a while? I don't think I could pretend to be excited for her (because, actually, I'm not).

Help .....

T
xx


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## angel83 (Mar 14, 2005)

I know its hard hunny, my best friend is pregnant at the moment too. But we have to stick by our friends, they too have a life that shouldnt affect ours. Its just this journey that changes your outlook on things. People take for granted there fertility. And most people who have not experienced this, dont realise to be sensitive.

she may have thought you would both be sharing a BFP together.....

Angel83


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## NuttyJo (Jun 29, 2007)

so sorry for your bfn   and no i wouldnt be able to cope with that news either about your friend so take some time to let it sink in and then explain to her how hurtful it was doing it the way she did. she may not have realised it was going to hurt you so much, you know what some people are like  

take care  

love jo xxx


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## kellixxx (May 30, 2007)




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## Samia (May 14, 2007)




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## Mrs Dibbles (Aug 19, 2007)

Don't feel bad if you need to stay away from her for a while. If she is a good friend she will understand. Lots of hugs to you.


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

[fly]        [/fly]

You do what is right for you hunny  if you feel you need some space from your friend then take some time out from your friendship; friends don't stop being friends just because they are not in each others pockets all the time; hopefully hunny you will have a BFP too very soon                 

Cat x


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## jes4 (Aug 18, 2007)

Tracey - don't feel guilty about distancing yourself from your friend. It is hard enough to deal with other peoples good news if you have IF problems, let alone when you're on hormone changing drugs like the crazy clomid. Give yourself the space that you need, as Cat says. 

I have had to do similiar with both work colleagues and good friends recently, and i'm sure your friend will understand if you take a little time. 

      and       that you'll be sharing good news with her soon too. 

jesXXX


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## TracyK (Dec 18, 2007)

I wonder if she was wary of upsetting you and thought your DH would break it to you in a better way? Like Jes I've had 2 friends get pregnant recently ( and to make it worse it happened to both as soon as they tried  ) I had a good cry, and a tantrum and although it still hurts I'm starting to get ecited for them now 
I went awol with both for a while - they knew we're trying and they understood


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## TraceyK (Oct 9, 2005)

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the hugs ....

I feel totally different today. Today I'm indifferent to the news that shook my world just 3 days ago. Unfortunately yesterday I politely told my friend that I'm finding her news hard to deal with, and that I needed some time. She knows I'm on clomid etc. Alas her response was not one of understanding; instead I was called every expletive under the sun and I guess that's the end of our friendship. It saddens me, but I can't take back what I said to her. My dh tried to tell her husband that the fertility drugs I'm on make me overly emotional, but that didn't seem to make much difference. I'll leave it now for a while to let things calm down. Maybe I'll try to talk to her in a week or two and apologise.

As for me, I've finished taking my clomid for this month, so today is cycle day 6/7 (my AF arrived late one evening, so I didn't count that day). This will be cycle 2 at 100mg. I have to say that last month was unlike any of the 5 I experienced 2 years ago. Last month I was told on my day 12 scan that the clomid wasn't working. I thought it was a bit early to rule anything out, and on day 14-16 I had really strange, dull aches from both sides of my lower abdomen. It wasn't painful, but was annoyingly uncomfortable. I started to use some old OPKs that were just about still in date from 2 years ago, and they registered positive. I believe I ovulated around day 18-19. Then when my AF arrived it was horrendous - probably the heaviest one I've ever had (sorry, TMI). From this I have to assume that the drugs DID work. Of course this month Clomid managed to turn me totally loopy (as my now ex-friend can confirm). I felt a little sick yesterday as well, but I put that down to the stresses I was putting myself under.

Now, when should I start taking the Tesco cough mixture (with that G ingredient in)? I totally dried up last month and need all the help I can get. Should I be drinking gallons of not-from-concentrate grapefruit juice this side of ovulation?

T
xx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Hey if you were not rude and just said you you were finding it hard to deal with her news,  you don't need to be apologising for that ..yes she might be upset as she perhaps unrealistically expected elated joy from everyone at her news but thats a fact of life that different people have different emotions, take the time you need hunny and don't beat yourself up about it - if she puts herself into your shoes then maybe she will have an inkling about how you are feeling too and like you said if she had put herself into your shoes she wouldn't have shared this news with you on New Years Eve!

The tixylix cough chesty cough mixture has it in and doesn't have a lot of the rubbish that some of the others have in them.. also recommend pre-seed it is a lubrication that is specifically designed to be sperm friendly and is ideal for using before bms to provide more fluid in the right places.. you can buy it from e-bay and other places if you search it via google etc it should come up..

Good luck 
Cat x


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Have blown you some lucky bubbles hun x


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## linlou17 (Jul 3, 2007)

tracy huni                

just read your thread and understand how hard your friends news especially given the timing was for you, and i think your friend should have shown you more consideration and understanding. its always difficult to found out others are pg but the way the news is delivered can make it more bearable.  i think it was a lot to do with the day she broke her news as well as the way she went about it but dont beat yourself up over it and remember you have always got your clomid friends

take care and lots of tlc and   for you

L xx


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