# Newbie to the boards



## Mel33 (Nov 27, 2009)

Hi Ladies. Have been a lurker for quite some time but have finally taken the plunge in the hope I can join you. 
Well here's my story.  I'm 33 and DH is 44 - he has 2 children from a previous marriage. TTC since we got married in 2005, it took 2 years and 3 doctors to discover I had blocked tubes!!! I had a lap in May 08 where they cleared my left tube and took out my right tube.
We had ICSI in Nov 08 (DH sperm was sticking together) where we had 6 eggs 5 of which fertilised and had 2 put back but no frosties. I was totally naive as to the power of the IVF process as I was confident it would work as the only problem we had was my tubes but i didn't need them for IVF - looking back I can't believe how stupid i was  !! Needless to say we had a BFN on Christmas Day. Since then I have done loads of research and read a few books trying to find out what I could do better next time.
We had our NHS go in Oct / Nov where we had 10 eggs, 7 of which fertilised and had 2 put back with AH. This time I tried to do everything "right" I gave up going to the gym, spent a fortune on acupuncture in Whitchurch, kept my belly warm with hot water bottles, rested,took the treatment week and most of the 1st week of the 2ww off from work drank  pineapple juice drank at least 2.5 litres of water a day, ate brazil nuts took pregnacare, high strength omega 3 and co-enzyme q10 ate protein rich foods and plenty of fruit and veg. We even went on hols just before we started so we would be relaxed and ready to start We had our BFN on 4th Nov - although it was a day or 2 when the blood arrived (sorry TMI). This cycle has totally floored me because I can't get my head around the fact that all I had to do was provide a safe warm environment for my babies to grow as everything else was done for me by the medical team and I couldn't even do that!!
To top this off one of my closest friends in work has just found out she is pregnant. I am over the moon happy for her but she is at the same stage as I should have been which has gutted me all over again. I am currently at the lowest point I have ever been at and am convinced it will never work for us. I have read a lot of your stories and can't believe how much more some of you have gone through and still continued on which makes me feel really selfish for feeling the way I do. We have a treatment schedule booked on the 8th Dec for our FET for the 2 frosties we have but I have already decided this won't work as if the fresh stronger embies didn't take why should these !! We also have a follow up with JE on the 5th Jan to see what we can do next
Sorry for such a long post but if anyone has some advice on how I can get my PMA back ready for our FET I would really apprecite it
Mel x


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## ANDI68 (Aug 17, 2007)

Hi Mel and welcome.  Sorry to read about your fails and that you are feeling so low  

I am sure many ladies will be along to give you support and advice but what stuck out in my mind when you asked for advice on how to get PMA back in readiness for your FET is Miriam.  I am not sure if you have read Miriam's ticker or followed her posts on the IVF Wales threads but she has a little girl from her second FET from one fresh cycle.  She had a fresh cycle which failed and then 2 embryos transferred (from 3 frozen) this resulted in a fail also but her little girl was frozen twice and defrosted twice and her last attempt from the same fresh cycle worked.  So there is no rhyme or reason why the last selected frozen embryo became and baby over the freshly chosen ones. 

Hope the clinic can give you some answers as they would have discussed your tx and have a plan to move forward with.



I hope you don't mind me talking about you Miriam   but it's something that has always amazed me .. your miracle FET.


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

hi mel and welcome.

so sorry to hear tx hasn't worked.  

as andi has said with regards to miriam she has a wonderful fet miracle and as andi says it always amazes me on how she had been frozen and  defrosted a couple of times. say remember this and try and keep positive. sometimes there is no reason why it works or doesn't.

keep posting and we can all help you through it all, i have found that the girls here are the only ones who understand how i feel. i undestand how hard it is when close friends are expecting as my best friend is as the moment .

sending loads of          

queenie x


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## kara76 (Dec 14, 2004)

hiya mel and i am so sorry to hear about your failed cycles, it really does make the most postive person feel down

As the girls have said miriam is a good news story from FET. 

when you get frozen embryos this means they are good quaility and it could be that the fresh embryo looked the best at the time but they can only see how the embryo looks from the outside, they cant see what is going on inside so maybe your baby embryo is waiting for you in the freezer

IVF really is the hardest thing i had ever had to do and like you i was naive on my first cycle and thought it would work straight away and with each fail it does knock you sideways and your latest cycle wasnt that long ago and it takes time to gieve and get over it.

i wish you loads of luck and we are all here if you need a chat and we understand


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

hi mel and welcome   so sorry you have just had another failed cycle but please dont give up it doesnt mean next go will fail aswell ... i really thought after my fresh and frozen fail there was no way my single 1 would work so did a cheap natural cycle that cost £250 and it worked! you really can never tell


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Hi Mel

I'm fairly new on here too, I'm so sorry to hear about your failed cycles  . It's completely understandable to feel down and try not to be hard on yourself. I've recently had my first failed cycle and trying to get over it. As others have said, you need the space to grieve before you move on. I really hope the other success stories on here will help you to feel more positive about your upcoming FET. Will be thinking of you and shout up if you need to talk anytime, hopefully we can all help each other through. 

Sarah x


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## mimi41 (Feb 28, 2008)

Hi Mel and welcome to the world of ff.

Infertility is one of the most stressful things i have ever had to do.  I have had 4 cycles one which was cancelled and this hit me the hardest.

Please do not give up hope i have been trying to concieve for 18 yrs and have been pregnant 3 times with tx, two of these resulting in early mc.  Like everyone says your baby maybe waiting for you in the freezer.

The girls are great here and you will get some fab support from everyone.

All the best for the 8th dec

Michelle


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## Mel33 (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks girls for the really warm welcome. I am very glad I have found you all because like so many of you I feel really alone as no one else is going through this and can therefore not understand the way I'm feeling even though they all think they do. Even my DH who is going through this with me and bears the brunt of most of my frustration can't fully understand as he has 2 children already!!

Miriam you really are an inspiration and your baby girl must have been a gift form heaven as there must be so few babies who have survived being defrosted twice and was still strong enough to make it into this world. I just pray that my frosties make it through the defrosting procedure and hopefully stick around when they are transferred 

Michelle I can't believe how much of a bad time you have had  - it really puts my journey in perspective!!


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## mimi41 (Feb 28, 2008)

Mel i've been through no more than you.  Infertility is painful to everyone.  I wanted to post to you to give you some hope really, i'm 41 nearly 42 so basically its not over until the fat lady sings. Good luck with your journey hun


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## PixTrix (Aug 20, 2008)

a big welcome to you Mel


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## miriam7 (Aug 8, 2007)

the clinic have a real good defrost rate so your frosties are in good hands


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