# Frustrated & Clueless *



## Hoshi (Jul 19, 2007)

Hi everyone,

I feel like this is the outlet i've been looking for for a while now. It's great to read posts by so many people with similar questions and find so much support out there. I have supportive friends (many of them pregnant!) but i've been looking for people who really know how i feel...

So, my story so far:

Met the love of my life, got married, bought a house, decided to try for a baby, came off the pill and... nothing happened. A year down the line we went to the doctor which was a big step in it's self as it meant that we admitted that something was wrong - something i was loath to do. Contrary to my fears she was very supportive. My husband went for a sperm test and i had a blood test to check my ovulation.

My test came back negative saying that i wasn't ovulating at the time of the test. This wasn't a suprise, my cycle has been all over the place having come off the pill. I've started taking my temperature for the past few months but can't really see a pattern. I'm now on day 59 of my cycle with no period in sight!

My husband's results came back saying that the result was poor and he had 19% motility instead of the normal 50%. Now this was a suprise, he has never smoked, eats relatively healthy (lots of fruit smoothies!) and stopped drinking a few months ago. That really knocked us and he has to go back for another test soon...

My doctor referred me to the hospital as my period still hasn't turned up but that was three weeks ago now and i still haven't had an appointment letter through (i've been told it can take three months). I have no idea what is wrong with me, no idea of what they'll suggest and i feel in limbo and just really frustrated. This is coming out in lots of ways - snapping at my husband, getting tearful for no reason etc.

And, meanwhile, everyone around me is getting pregnant!!

Help


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## cleo31 (Sep 24, 2006)

Welcome to the thread hun  

you really have come to the right place. you'll get lots of help and support on here, it really has been a godsend to me.

this fertility lark is a rollercoaster ride and you feel like you are forever waiting for something , you're standing still and the rest of the world around you is falling pregnant.

i wish you loads of luck for your appointment, i hope it comes through soon!!!

We're always here for you hun.

Cleo xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## M.T.B (May 31, 2007)

welcome to FF hun

this is a very addictive site and is full of like minded people who are only to willing to give you support and reassuring words.

i know how you feel

me too... met love of my life got married came off pill alas 1 year down road zilch went to gp after 1 year been passed pillar to post had tests bloods and laporoscopy all ok DH sperm fine so unexplained...... 1st IVF in may BFN   soon to start again heres praying i have a bump that isnt just blubber from injections!!!!

hope you get your appointment through soon get on the phone and chase it if all else fails keep pestering soon get a response then.

  vibes for you hun

keep us posted how things go

take care xxxx


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## Hoshi (Jul 19, 2007)

Thank you so much for replying so quickly    I really appreciate how genuinely supportive you all are, not like the well meaning pity some of my pregnant friends offer!


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## M.T.B (May 31, 2007)

your welcome love

i know what you mean like most of my friends are pregnant or onto their 2nd child.... its just not fair

sister in law expecting on my birthday!!!!!

my good friend just had little boy and i'm dead chuffed for them but its sooo hard!!!!! she tries to be supportive but whats great about here is that people really know how you feel not trying to understand.


where you going for treatment?


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Welcome to FF.  You will certainly get lots of advice on here.  

Emma
x x x x


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## Mumtomiemie (May 22, 2007)

hoshi,hello hun i no exactly how ur feeling ,its all such a big blow but u will get some answers we went private in the end as the nhs appointment was taking ages and dh was going out of his mind,and im still waiting to have more tests done on me,it is all so stress full and i tock it out on my dh,in away u resent them but u love them and there is nothing u can do to make them feel better or take it away,all i can say to u is u need to be there for eachother tell eachother how much u love one another and sometimes not saying anything and just having a cuddle really dose help,remember men handle things so different than us ladies do,they bottle it up untill becomes to much and they crack,just see this as a test one which will make ur relationshp stronger if u just stick together and just be there to listen and when u feel like s!!t just come on here and have a good old  rant  we are here for u this site is fantastic i dont no what i would have done with out it.if u need to chat one to one just pm me (personal message).take care hun and all the best of luck to u and dh.
 lots of   shelley.


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## LoisLane (Apr 26, 2007)

Hoshi

Hello and welcome to FF.  I've blown your bubbles up to 7!  

One of the things I've found really useful on here is the county board, I've been able to hook up with a local support group as a result of it and it's been great to meet up with other ladies face to face.

Take care, sending you lots of   

Louj x


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

Welcome to FF!!

I can totally understand how you feel hon I too sometimes don't ovulate and have have 50+ day cycles and refused to believe the mountain of negative tests  

3 months might seem long but it will soon fly by. You could be prescribed clomid or menopur to help you ovulate. 

I found planning my life to have a people eased the strain at time. We are also starting a baby saving account so we have money ready when our baby arrives.

Love Saila xxx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *Hoshi* and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of the problems you have been having make a baby but you have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

I will leave you a couple of links to try out.

Starting out and diagnosis board...............http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=110.0

Male factors in infertility.....................http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=35.0

Girl and boy thread (fun area).........http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0

We also have a great chatroom (check the index for themed chats). It is often good to talk to people who understand what you are going through. Every Friday Night at varied times is NEWBIE NIGHT Miss TC, Dizzi squirrel or I will be in there to help you use the chatroom, answer any questions, etc. If you can't make it on Friday night, just send one of us a personal message and we will meet you in there at a prearranged time for a short "one2one" session to show you the ropes.

For more info on Newbie Night follow the link...http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hiya hun,

Welcome to ff, you have found a fantastic site that will help you through the tough times.

I too have had 50+ days and its so frustrating. I would get on the phone first thing monday if you havent heard anything and keep on, its suprising what a little push can do.

Have you had any other tests done? There are vitamins you can take to help improve sperm and angus cactus can help regulate cycles as long as your not on any other fertilty medication, although every person will react to it differently but maybe worht looking into a bit more? 

Good luck on your journey

Huggles
Nikki xx


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## Miss_Moneypenny (May 6, 2007)

Hi there

Your story is exactly like mine! irregular cycles since stopping the BCP and DP's SA showing poor motility (however my DP does drink and smoke so going to put a stop to that straight away!) Plus its soooooooooo frustrating when you have to wait ages for an appointment for someone to tell you what is wrong with your own body!!

I've tried to take matters into my own hands and have started taking agnus castus and vit B6 tablets and have DP on wellman. I don't know whether its working but I have detected that I am ovulating after buying some OPKs off the net (last Ov was on CD48!) Maybe something similar would be worth a try? It just makes me feel like I am doing something while I wait and agonise what is wrong with me and whether I should start saving for ICSI already?!

Miss MP
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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Hoshi, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Sorry to hear of the problems you are having conceiving. It's very daunting when  you are told you're not ovulating or there's a problem and, early on it seems so insurmountable and overwhelming. Your story is not too dissimilar to mine and it took me a lot longer to pluck up courage and admit we could not conceive without help. I found this site to be a great help to me; I don't know what i woudl have done without it!

Kate's left you some great links there to start you off but if you can't find what you're lookign for, please don't be agraid to ask, either on this thread of starting a new one in Peer Support. You might also want to check out the location boards and "meet" people in your local area - this can be very useful at this stage because it might give you a good idea of what the NHS services are like in your area.

Looking forward to see more of you on here. Do keep us up to date with how things are going.

C~x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  Hoshi  
I am so glad I was able to say hello to you in chat tonight 
the friends you meet here will help you everyday in many ways, youve had some great replies, be sure to check out the links 

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
check out the *FAQ thread * too - heres the Link CLICK HERE

Wishing you Friendship  &    


If you need any help just ask!
~Dizzi~


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## Hoshi (Jul 19, 2007)

Hi again, still posting on the starting out board as i'm still in the dark as to what my next steps are. As soon as I have a diagnosis i'll be able to get more specific support from the relevant boards! Just to remind people, my husband's sperm count is low and i am ovulating very irregularly. Currently waiting for my hospital appointment with the fertility specialist.

Until I have some answers i'm completely in limbo. I'm not really sure how to act. I want to do everything I can to help me conceive but as it's been a year i'm starting to have the odd drink here and there and forget to take my folic acid pill now and again and i'm feeling guilty about all of this...

Meanwhile I'm still seeing pregnant women _everywhere_, how did they manage it? What's their secret?? I'm going to start knitting little baby jumpers for all my pregnant friends due in the winter tonight, not sure if that's a good idea or a bad idea... x


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## Fluffs (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi Hoshi



> I'm going to start knitting little baby jumpers for all my pregnant friends due in the winter tonight, not sure if that's a good idea or a bad idea... x


Anything that takes your mind off the seemingly never ending fertility treadmill can't be a bad thing. And having a little drink here and there won't harm things - you still need to wind down from time to time  I hope you get your appointment soon and you start getting some answers 

Fluffs xxx

ps my Dh's count is low and slow and I don't always ovulate and we managed it with just metformin so never give up hope


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi Hoshi, welcoem to Fertility Friends. 

Sorry to hear you feel so like you're in limbo right now. Do you have any idea when your appointment might be? At least it will give you a date to count down to.
Don't feel guilty about the odd drink or forgetting to take your folic acid now and again; none of that will make a huge amount of difference int he long run and, I think, those of us with fertility problems always let it play on our minds and "blame" ourselves dor it all going wrong and forget that people without IF issues don't let a little drink bother them at all.

I am going to give you a few links to start you off. Just some things to give you to look at so that you can go to your consultation armed with as much info as possible.

Male factors -CLICK HERE

Starting out & Diagnosis
CLICK HERE

Meanings
CLICK HERE

FERTILITY INFO GUIDES
CLICK HERE

*Complimentary Therapies ~ *  CLICK HERE 

Don't forget the location boards, where you can meet people in your local area, and we also have a newbie night in the chat room every Friday (times vary), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.
 CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

Good luck. Do let us know how you get on with your consultation.

C~x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *Hoshi* and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of the problems you have been having make a baby but you have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support.

You have been left some great links to try out.

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


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## Miss_Moneypenny (May 6, 2007)

Hoshi

I've PM'd you before because we have similar stories and I feel just as frustrated as you without a diagnosis! Although we are also waiting for our first appointment at the fertility clinic I pestered my gp to also refer me to the local hospital to get some investigations sorted out in the meantime so I can get the ball rolling! It maybe worth a try too? The waiting list for procedures like a HSG and lap and dye are less and I just feel like I am getting my money's worth out of the NHS!. The way I put it to my doctor was well what if I wasn't TTC, what would you do then to see what the cause of my irregular periods is? I am also looking into taking out some private health insurance because as long as you don't mention the 'infertility' word (use women's health issues instead) then they should start treating you straight away. That might be worth a look too?

Miss MP
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## Hoshi (Jul 19, 2007)

Hi all, thanks again for your replies  .

Miss MP it's always interesting to hear from you as we're in quite similar situations.  But I still don't know what most of these terms mean - HSG, lap & dye etc.  I guess I'll find out when I get my appointment.  As soon as I know what procedures there're going to put me forward for then I can ask everyone's advise!  

Watched Katie and Peter's baby diaries tonight - really shouldn't have, feeling very broody again, and the floods had almost distracted me...! x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi Hoshi 
If you click the Links CAZ has left you, the *Meanings * one and *fertility info guides * one - it should help you understand a lot of the terms your reading, also try joining the ladies on the *starting out and diagnosis * thread, 
I'm sure there are ladies there with a chit chat thread to share the journey with, the begining of this road is is the rockest hun, you will be OK 

~Dizzi~


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## M.T.B (May 31, 2007)

hi hoshi

just posting to see how you are doing? hope you are well and finding the meanings to things you reading as above mentions.

im just waiting for AF (period) to arrive so can ring clinic to hopefully get started on tx (treatment) but as said before may be sept if no theatre slot for me this month. fingers crossed

take care

catch up soon

anthea xxx


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## Miss_Moneypenny (May 6, 2007)

Hoshi

Sorry for confusing you!

An HSG (hysterosalpingogram) will be able to show the patency of your tubes ie whether the dye flows freely through your tubes into your pelvic cavity.  This is done using a special dye and xray so if there are any blockages they can see exactly where they are in the tubes.

With a lap/dye this is used to look within the pelvic cavity for any possible endometriosis, adhesions etc and the dye is flushed through your womb and should flow freely out of your tubes in pelvic cavity (like with hsg) but they can't actually see where any blockages might be, if any.

I'm trying to get these done in the 6 month run up to my first appointment at the fertility clinic to save time. I'm an extremely impatient person as you can guess!! (whereas my DP is sooooooo laid back). He keeps saying that there is plenty of time as we are young which I know is true but I'm the kind of person that if you tell me I can't have something then I want it more! His way of dealing with things is to joke around and last nite he told me there was always the hope of immaculate conception! Off to church now then..................!

Miss MP
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## Hoshi (Jul 19, 2007)

Hey Mis MP,

Thanks for the info - all sounds a bit scary!  I'm really impatient too, my DH says I'm a control freak. But now we've made the decision that we want to try for a baby - I actually want a baby!!!

My DH had another sperm test this morning (poor thing) and we should hear back next week.  I got my period today after a 70 day cycle this time!  

So is the fertility clinic you're going to a private one?  What has your doctor recommended so far?


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## Miss_Moneypenny (May 6, 2007)

Hoshi

Glad to hear you got your AF finally! Its really frustrating when it doesn't come for a while. I know that ur blood tests came back from the docs as indicating that your not ovulating but have you detected that your ovulating at all - charting your temp (BBT), using OPK's (ovulation predictor kits), changes in cervical mucus (CM) Mine came back negative too but they were standard day 21 tests and this cycle I ovulated over 40 days into my cycle. Every gals body is different! Plus how long were you on the BCP? I was on it for 12 years. Really annoyed that I didn't come off it sooner as been with my partner for 5 years, he just never felt 'ready' for a baby (think he got tired of my nagging   ) It doesn't help that I'm a teacher either or that my mum owns a children's nursery!  

How long has it been since your DH's last SA? We are waiting 3 months to see whether there is any difference. Last time he did it at home and I rushed to the hospital with it. Got stuck in traffic so took 45-50 mins to get there, then I think I may have cooked it as had it stuffed under all my clothes while I drove! This time I'm making him do it at the hospital!  

At the moment we are being referred for NHS treatment - 26 week wait for initial appointment but will probably look into private treatment if we need IVF/ICSI. 

Miss MP
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