# What to do about work???



## Southwest (Feb 5, 2014)

Hi,  

We have now had 4 IVF cycles and have decided to change clinic.  We have been waiting for our initial appointment at ARCG which is in two weeks time but I'm worried about taking time off work.  All my other cycles I managed to book holiday around it and apart from taking 3 days off sick during my second cycle (and 1 week when I had erpc) it didn't disrupt my work. I won't be able to do that this time as the clinic is not local to me and from what I've read I may need to go there every day or every other day.  

I just wondered what other people do?  Should I get my doctor to sign me off? Do I have to tell my boss what I'm doing?

Any advice would be really appreciated


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

You can sign yourself off for 5 days without needing a Drs note, and any time over that the Dr can sign you off if you "feel you are unfit to work" (reactive stress disorder seems to be the favourite reason), or if the drugs are making you too ill to work. On my fresh cycle I signed myself off after about 5 days because I had OHSS, and then my GP signed me off for the 2ww: first week as 'recovery from gynie procedure' and the 2nd week as reactive stress. 

Another option may be special unpaid leave, but not all employers offer this, and even when they do they may not grant it. Some also have an IVF policy, and for smaller companies that don't have this policy they may consider writing one if you talk to them. But obviously both these things mean you need to tell your employer why you are off - at least of you are off sick they don't need to know: gynie procedure and post-op recovery are both good phrases if you want to keep it quiet.

I think the 'last resort' is unpaid unauthorised absence, but this often results in an official warning - which I don't think is warranted.

Good luck! 

Xxx


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## Jam&amp;Cream (Jan 27, 2013)

Hi *Southwest*, you don't have to tell your boss anything about what your doing no, that's your decision.
Would it be easier if they knew? Would they be more cooperative/compassionate about time off? Do they have an IVF policy in place? A lot of companies do. 
I personally wouldn't of got my doctor to sign me off. I wasn't sick and certainly didn't need to be sat at home for more than 3 weeks so I could attend maybe 5/6 appts which were every other day or so. I know some like to take the full amount of time off but that wouldn't do me and I think my boss would of thought I was taking the mick a bit if I'd taken it all off. I just told mine what was going on and he was great to be honest. 
Do you get on with your boss, know them well? I suppose only you know how they will be with you. X


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## Fiftyshades34 (Jan 21, 2015)

Hi,

I cycled with Argc and do not live in London. On the fresh go I got signed off - work was unaware, my dr is excellent. The first week is not as intense as the 2nd week. First week bloods mainly first thing and a scan here and there. 2nd week bloods first thing and possible bloods in afternoon too so there is a lot of waiting about. I am very private and do not wish everyone knowing my business and I don't trust anyone in my place of work. They all like to gossip and know people's business etc. 

The fets I had I didn't take time off as sick but there was a lot of travelling and it was draining and in hindsight I wish I did take time off. 

You will definitely need time off by the 2nd week anyway. If work are flexible in first week then you can make hours up etc if you want.

Argc are very full on and even after bfp it
Is still intense!! Good luck xxx


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## Ask1980 (Feb 7, 2015)

I sat down with my boss and told her everything. It was really bad timing for her as we'd just brought a new business and I was so busy but she was great and gave me time off for bloods and IUI which was fab and I just made up any hours I'd taken off by the end of the month! It might be worth having a chat with your boss if they're approachable and understanding and you actually want to tell them?! Good luck!


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## Southwest (Feb 5, 2014)

Thank you Cloudy and Jam & Cream.

I am very good friends with my boss and didn't really want to tell him as we are a small company and I wouldn't really want everyone knowing my business.  I had to tell him when I had time off for the erpc but that was because I was called in the middle of the day at work and told to go the hospital as they were unsure if it was ectopic.  We outsource our HR and the lady rang me and said she had to come to my house to see me before I could go back to work.  I didn't allow that as I didn't want to talk to a stranger about it! 

I understand what you mean about not wanting to take the whole time off, although that would mean talking to my boss and saying I may be able to work some days and not others.  Now I'm thinking about it, that might be the only option.  I don't want to worry about my job on top of everything else.

I think I'll wait until my appointment and see what they say.  It will be a round trip of 4 hours driving everyday that I have to go the clinic.


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## Tiffin (Jan 22, 2015)

Hi ladies,

I hope things are a bit more clearer in what you will do after your appointment Southwest. Would you mind if I asked a related question please? For the cycles where your clinic was local, how much time did you take off please? 

My clinic is local to me and I don't really want to tell my boss, as there is going to be a restructure in our department soon and I'm in line for a promotion, which I don't want to jeopardise in anyway. This will be our first cycle and I have saved up my holiday but unsure of how much I will need?

Thank you!  x


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## Southwest (Feb 5, 2014)

Hi Tifin

All 4 times I had saved holiday and managed to get it booked for the right times except for the second cycle which I knew I couldn't take holiday for as two other people were off.  I had to take sick days for those (which I felt really bad about).  i t was difficult trying to work out when I needed to book off, especially as my egg collection date always changed and so did having them put back.  I was lucky that I managed to change days last minute.

I worked right up to the day before egg collection and went back after transfer, luckily all my transfers were either mid week or a Saturday, so I didn't have to go back the very next day.  Also my clinic was 45 mins drive and they did 8am appointments which meant that I usually made it back to work on time, or when I was late back I would call work and tell them I was stuck at the dentist, school etc.

I have to be honest and say it was quite stressful trying to juggle everything before egg collection and also I worried a lot about my work and changing my holiday dates with such little notice. I think I just got lucky that I was able to do it but after being a model employee and suddenly being late sometimes etc, I'm sure it didn't go unnoticed.


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## hfc_blue (May 28, 2011)

I also managed to plan holiday days around the cycle for most and took very little time off.  My clinic was local too so for routine apps (bloods, scans etc) I would request the first appt of the day and just make up an excuse at work if I did happen to be abit late which wasn't often.  I took the day off for egg collection and the day after as holiday plus the day of embryo transfer.  That worked fine for me.  I did have one cycle which was a short protocol which made planning holiday more difficult as dates etc were shorter notice.  I have to admit, I did call in sick for 2/3 days.    The work thing is a difficult one isn't it.  For me, I hold a senior position in a large organisation and didn't want anyone to think I wasn't committed or may be going off on maternity leave at any moment.  However, at the same time I can see how it would be easier for a boss to know as I think it would take some of the worry out of the situation.  Xxxx


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## Tiffin (Jan 22, 2015)

Thanks ladies, that's really helpful. I'm similar to you hfc_blue with my position at work. I will be thinking as positive as I can, as we go through the cycle, but also want to make sure my career progression isn't affected if we're not successful. 

Good tip to ask for the first appointments in the morning and I was thinking of taking some time off after EC and ET, which sounds pretty similar to both of you. 

Thanks again  x


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Hello

I always took a days hol for EC/ET and made the time back up for scans, never taken sick in 7 years with severe endo and 2 laps but that's just me I know a lot do, my work actually added a section to the staff handbook after I had ivf, you can have up to 3 days unpaid leave twice a year for ivf treatment/investigations (male or female) 

L x


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I think a big thing with any advice like this is that everyone is different at different times.

When I did my fresh cycle I had ohss and no choice but to be off sick as i was quite poorly and then turned into an emotional wreck! My second (frozen cycle) I had the 2ww off, but it was when I was in a position with my job where I was lone working with  potentially violent people 99% of the time, and the week before ET had had someone physically and verbally attack me - it wasn't too bad, but enough to scare me!

My most recent FET i worked through (other than a few days after ET taken as holiday) as I was in a new holiday year and had the days to use, and was able to work from the office for the whole 2ww.

Whatever you decide don't beat yourself up. Wether you work through or get signed off sick for a month, it's what's best for you and what's going to cause you the least stress and upset.

We did a poll about time off after ET - I will bump it up.

Good luck xxx


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

I agree with cloudy you do what's right for you, if I was in a dangerous job I would view it differently, I'm on my feet constantly but no danger so was happy to go back, better for my sanity too! 

L x


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## Tiffin (Jan 22, 2015)

Thank you! x


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## Talkingfrog (Apr 17, 2014)

DH and I told our managers (we both work for the same employer) for our first cycle and time off was never a problem.  We are lucky and both have managers that are approachable. 

Our try for a sibling last year we wanted to keep quite so just booked leave.  We do flexi anyway and I am already part time, so they didn't think too much of me having a morning or afternoon off.  I did book a week off when I expected ec and et would be, but ec ended up being at the end of it so booked another two days off the week after.  I know though that I am lucky and as far as leave is concerned there are never questions asked.  There are about 15 of us so there were have to be a lot off for it to be refused.


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## SillyWrong (Mar 11, 2015)

I wanted to keep ours on the DL but when I realised how many appointments there would be and how much time I would need I went in to my boss (who I get on with and can be open with) and told her that I was telling her with some reluctance as we'd wanted to not discuss it with anyone, but wanted to be honest about the time off I would need.  She was great - she told me that any appointments for myself I could take as paid and any for DW I could work in to my flexi if I wanted to accompany her.  

I feel much better now as she is sympathetic towards us needing time, rather than having to be devious and make up excuses and go through all the guilt of that.


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## Tiffin (Jan 22, 2015)

Thanks ladies. I know my boss would be absolutely fine with any time I may need, the bigger thing for me is I have a feeling it would affect the upcoming promotional prospect I have. I'll hopefully be fine with either having appointments first thing, or working from home for blood tests/scans and thinking of taking holiday from EC until a week after ET. x


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## Lanny85 (Jan 12, 2015)

My personal experience is that I've told my boss and she's been really supportive and let me move shifts around and request days off in advance knowing that I may need to change them last minute.  I guess it depends on the personality of your boss but my experience was certainly a good one.  Good luck.

Alanna


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