# How to cope with the BFN



## MrsK1970 (Jun 13, 2011)

I got my BFN on friday and was very tearful.  However yesterday I felt a bit better and seemed to get on with things.  

Today is a different story - Im tearful and snappy and just dont want to do anything or ssee anyone.  Im dreading going back to work tomorrow.

It doesnt help that i have been bleeding heavily since Thursday and it doesnt seem to be easing up.  

Has anyone else been like this?


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## 1972 (Feb 5, 2011)

Mrs K 

I was exactly the same. Got my BFN on weds but do feel a little better day by day ... Weds I was terribly upset, numb and very tearful. Thursday a bit better , Friday had bad day at work and was very grumpy and snappy. Yesterday was tired and headachy, think emotion all coming out  - today I feel alot better. Im still sad but trying not to think about it too much. Whats done done, I cant turn clock back. 

I hope you start to feel better soon . My AF too was awful but yesterday . today that too has eased off . . 

 x


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## MrsK1970 (Jun 13, 2011)

Thank you so much for your response - that was really helpful.

Thought I was me going mad.

Whilst mates are supportive, they dont quite get what I have been through or how it feels.

Guess its day by day.

xxxx


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## nessiebro (Feb 3, 2011)

hi mrs k  and maisiemoo,

i am so sorry to hear of your bnf's   

friends and family try,bless,but they just dont get it do they.

please be extra kind to yourselves over the next few days/weeks and give yourselves time to grieve, your bodies have been through soooooo much in the last few months.

take care my luvies xx


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## Karen_S (Feb 17, 2011)

MrsK1970,

I totally understand your pain and send you a huge cyber 
If the year is a clue, then you must be 40, just like me. Am
I right?

My current tx situation is the same as yours. AF came today after a few days of symptoms and the HPT confirmed the gut-wrenching news that I had been trying to ignore for the last 2 days.

BFN.

It hurts like crazy, and I've been crying my tear glands dry all evening.
The pain and the big gaping hole that I have now feel like they will never end.
But this was our second tx, and I know that the loss and the hurt will subside.
It's just really unfair that we not only have to deal with the bad news of BFN, but we have to do it with period pains and hormonal moods on top of it all. Who said women were the weaker sex? We have to survive all this.

Remember that your hormones have been really messed around with lately and your emotions are also going to be affected. Fine one day, psycho crying lady the next. Nothing is out of the ordinary on this journey.

You will feel better with time. Just be good to yourself now, cry and let it out when you need to, then do things that make you happy and make you smile.

But above all don't give up.  

_*If you want the rainbow you have to put up with the rain*_


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## badswimmers (Jan 25, 2010)

MrsK1970 said:


> I got my BFN on friday and was very tearful. However yesterday I felt a bit better and seemed to get on with things.
> 
> Today is a different story - Im tearful and snappy and just dont want to do anything or ssee anyone. Im dreading going back to work tomorrow.
> 
> ...


We had our second BFN on Friday as well.

My partners AF arrived yesterday and she says it's really heavy and thick too. Sounds like she has that for a while then if you have had it since Thursday.

My symptoms are only the emotional ones. I thought I would take this a lot better but I'm struggling.

Don't know if you are the same but little things can become so major!!!

Friday the day of our test I had to print a load of t-shirts for a little girls dance group. That made me all emotional but it was a job I had to get done.

It's the mind playing tricks but everything seems baby related. TV programmes and adverts, radio and newspapers etc, with anything baby related stands out.

We don't really want to see anybody and even a telephone conversation with my mum tonight was very short. Finding conversation difficult.

.. and to top it all off, on our first cycle in Nov/Dec 2010 our clinic receptionist was a bit niave and when looking at out paperwork said " oh!, that's unusual, already seen that address today".

We didn't know who it was in the clinic the same time us as living in the same road but eventually it became obvious and we did recognise a face but none of us knew each other.

I had already worked out statistically that it was unlikely to be positives for both in the same road at the same time based on percentages.

So when we had our BFN in between xmas and new year it only seemed a matter of time that we were going to see for ourselves what could of been. Yes the person in our road is clearly pregnant now and thanks to the clinic we have to cope with this.

I'm over the moon for anyone with a BFP and don't want to sound bitter but it certainly makes the coping process a lot lot more difficult.

We just wish they had kept quiet and we would of not know any different.


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## MrsK1970 (Jun 13, 2011)

Thanks for your really supportive messages - Im glad what im feeling is normal.

AF has subsided thank goodness.  Went this morning for a 2nd blood test as original BFN result wasnt a total negative (not sure what that is)!

However feelings are up and down.  Seem to have a constant lump in my throat like anything could set me off.  Guess it does take a while to get back to normal.


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## Han72 (Feb 15, 2007)

Hi all

MrsK it sounds as though you may have had a biochemical pregnancy, where the embryo has tried to implant but failed soon afterwards   Did they give you your HCG numbers

     to all 

xxx


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## 1972 (Feb 5, 2011)

to you all . 

Im finidng holiday bopoking and looking to next cycle is helping move on , but its been one week this morning and have another little pang of sadness. .. its getting better each day though. 

Doesn anyone elses clinic offer counselling and has anyone taken them up ?


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