# 42 and feel like I'm never going to have a baby!



## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Hi, I'm not very good with dates, but about a year ago I had an egg donation implanted from my sister, which very sadly didn't work. We are hoping to try in the next few months. I've got endometriosis and had a laparoscopy in December because I was having alot of pain, I've also started an early menopause, I've had hot sweats etc but not too bad, but recently I've been missing periods. Anyway, I've tried to sort out my body as much as I can ready for treatment, so now hoping to get going soon.  I just feel like I'm having so many things happening that seem to be stopping us get going. I sometimes feel like something is trying to tell me I'm not allowed to have a baby, it is so upsetting when things happen that keep knocking is back, and I see or hear about other women who are not very good mothers, who are allowed to get pregnant. I really feel like why can they but I can't! My latest block is , last week I rang the clinic to ask if I could get an appointment with the councellor, just to talk things over first before we started, they said she keeps her own appointment book, they will get her to ring me back, I haven't heard anything at all! The other day i sent an e-mail with the dates I can do, still not heard anything! I know it could be she's busy or something, and I'm trying not to get stressed but it just feels like another knock back!  I am coping by living life as best I can and enjoying things, but some days when my hormones are bad, it real feels like time is nearly up.


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## Mel D (Jan 18, 2013)

Totally understand your frustration, it is one hell of a tough journey. Have you had a fertility MOT? Did you already do several cycles or just the one with your sister? Try ringing the counsellor again, they can get busy as they work at various places often. I didn't find it useful but did find it useful meeting up with others going through the same process. I have been to the monthly group at my clinic and met some great ladies on here. Stay strong
x


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## Sammi11 (Sep 30, 2008)

Hi Rosie71,

I'm sorry you are feeling so down at the moment. I could have written your post myself hon. I too have severe endo and no success yet.
Try the clinic one more time and ask for your msg to be passed to the counsellor, better still ask for her number - counsellors tend to be happy for their contact number to be given out, as they are often in private practice separate from their clinic work too.
She may be on holiday?

Feel free to PM me if want to chat more I'd be happy to.

Sammi


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## CupcakeUK (Nov 11, 2013)

Hi Rosie
I am feeling exactly the same as you! It's a long road isn't it! We've been trying since May 2011. Have had lots of trials in my life but am starting to come out of a particularly difficult patch. I too am affected by how unfair life can be in terms of wanting a child and to be a Mum, only to hear of children being mistreated or worse. 

Try to keep your chin up. In the meantime, try the counsellor's number again or seek another counsellor who can help you talk through things. 

All the best,

Cupcakeuk  xx


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Hello ladies, 

I also share your pain. Turned 40 in June and about to start cycle no 6.. Not sure if I'm bonkers or totally insane but one things for sure this is my last try. I can't put myself through this anymore. 

Sometimes you do have to put things down to bad luck. I've had every test going all of which have come back normal apart from raised NK cells so I also have all the immunes meds to support my cycles. 

Hopefully will all my   and   my dream will come true in October. 

Please keep the faith and keep strong. x


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Sorry I have only just replied. Thank you very much for replying all of you  .. I did manage to get to see the counsellor in the end. For some reason she couldn't get through on the house phone or my mobile! But she kept trying and got through. I've had an appointment to talk about starting treatment, so now just got to wait for my period then can start. I'm doing a medicated FET cycle. 
How are you all getting on now? I hope things are going ok


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## pompeybelle (Jul 10, 2009)

Hi!  I didnt want to read and run as I was in your shoes not too long ago...after years of trying my heart was broken with the thought I would never have a child of my own due to endo, immune issues, very low FSH to name but a few issues...and at 44 I now have two beautiful children, my twins are just over a year and everything I could have imagined.  I just wanted to let you know that miracles do happen.  Good Luck xxxxx


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Thankyou pompeybelle for your reply. Congratulations on your twins  . It's nice to hear from someone my age too, alot of the groups I go in, the women are younger than me. Thankyou again. I hope you have a good christmas   xxx


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