# I'm new, joined because I need support



## lisa27 (Aug 10, 2014)

Found out that both myself and my husband have fertility problems and we are going to need ivf. Got to have a few more tests and wait for the clinic appointment but I'm feelimg a bit down about it all, nervous, scared anf fed up of hearing about all our friends getting pregnant as soon as they stop the pill or even whilst still on the pill.
Need some support and advice and would love to hear from anyone else going through a similar thing.
Lisa


----------



## bananapants (Nov 14, 2013)

Hi Lisa,welcome.this website is the best for support.its a very lonely time and scary time.didnt want to read and run. Friends falling pregnant everywhere is a tough one. Keep your head up,youll know more once youve had your test results come in.take care xx


----------



## ONE LAST CHANCE (May 1, 2014)

Hi Lisa,  This is def the place all of us are here for one reason or another and need to talk to people going through the same issues.  My hubby and I both have issues I have a low ovarian reserve AHM they call it and his sperm has Motability issues.  I understand it can be devastating when everyone around you falls pregnant at the drop of a hat, I cried each and every time, even put massive strain on friendships because of it, but it gets better believe me, you get stronger.  I am having my first try at ICSI at CRM London at the moment and the tears well they've been taken place by the mental mood swings I now have with the massive amounts of hormones i'm pumping in to my body .


----------



## Waiting4aStar (Aug 11, 2014)

Hi, I know how you feel. Feels like everyone around me is either getting pregnant or having their second or third child and DH and I are struggling. I have PCOS. Feel lucky in the knowledge that you can get the fertility help you need, I have been refused help by the hospital due to low BMI. Also, because you both have issues and it's not just you, you don't have the guilt that comes with being the infertile one while your partner is 'normal'. I feel so guilty that I am the reason we can't have a baby. I really hope the IVF works for you, all the best xx


----------



## ONE LAST CHANCE (May 1, 2014)

Waiting for a star - I know how you feel my hubby has two children from a previous so they were not always slow movers :-(.  We were rejected funding by our own PCT and have had to fund this ourselves, it's a costly route with no guarantee's at the end, feeling of powerlessness is an understatement. Is donor eggs not an option with PCOS? xxx


----------



## Waiting4aStar (Aug 11, 2014)

To be honest I have just recently finished all the tests and had my appointment to discuss the results, which although the majority of them were positive, no cysts, no blockages etc, the consultant was so unempathetic and didn't really offer any options. She just thought I was too thin to do anything and would see me again when I reached average BMI, which I don't think will ever happen. I don't know whether to go back to my GP and get him to start me on Clomid or Metformin. I feel so alone in my feelings, my hubby doesn't understand how difficult it is for me to deal with other people's pregnancies lately. He's just recently had a niece and every time I see him look at her my heart breaks that I can't give him a child of his own. Every time I see his screensaver on his phone of her little hands I want to cry. Not because I am jealous, but because I feel guilty, like I have failed him and am not a perfect wife. I know he does not think like this but when my hormones are surging it is difficult to get myself to think rationally. I am usually positive and optimistic but the last couple of days have been so difficult. A friend at work has just discovered they are pregnant and they got married very recently, he asked when we are going to have a baby, completely oblivious, I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. Everybody seems to take for granted that everyone else can conceive.. I pray for everyone to get what they long for, and for the strength to deal with the road that leads them there xx


----------



## lisa27 (Aug 10, 2014)

Thank you everyone
I think we will need ICSI because of my husband's sper count/motility
Guess we need to focus on positives that we are lucky we will be funded so have a chance, it's just hard to come to terms with especially given I don't feel I can talk to my main group of friends cos one of them just announced a pregnancy and don't want to make her feel guilty especially given it was unplanned and they were joking about how fertile they must be (obviously having no idea about our current situation)
Good luck to everyone
Lisa


----------



## ONE LAST CHANCE (May 1, 2014)

WaitingforaStar - I can totally empathise, I have been right where you are and it took quite a long time to come to terms with it.  It's never your own failings I just blame this stupid body I was put in to.  I found it very difficult talking to my friends as all of them fell pregnant just when they decided, everyone including ourselves thought it would just happen when we wanted it to, years of wasted worrying about taking the pill on time springs to mind haha, if only we had known .  Chat with the GP is always a good idea let them know how low you feel too, we are all right there with you.  This is just the very start of this journey ))) xx

Lisa27 - My dear old granny always said "it only takes one" my consultant at CRM told me yesterday that ICSI don't need many sperm they only take the goodies anyway, so next Wednesday we are back hubbie in to do his bit, the easy part haha fingers crossed there are some goodies in the bunch.


----------



## Waiting4aStar (Aug 11, 2014)

Thank you One Last Chance, fingers and toes crossed for you x I know what you mean about the contraception! What a waste of time and effort that was ha ha. I do believe everything happens for a reason and when the time is right it will happen, feeling a lot more positive today than I have the last few days. It helps to talk it through but its so difficult to find anyone who will understand what you are going through or even just listen and try not to understand when they can't. All the best to you and to everyone struggling, it will all be worth it one day x


----------



## Flutter74 (Sep 27, 2013)

ladies. 

you will get there. take each step at a time & not the bigger picture. 

sending you all positive vibes & lots of baby dust 

f xx


----------



## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Lisa  

We have a great area here for talking to ladies in the same situation who are waiting to hear about their treatment - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=324110.0

We also have a section on Coping with Infertility, as it is so tough when everyone around is having babies - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=554.0

If you let me have a bit more info about the results of your investigations, I can point you to some other places where you can chat about next steps and treatment.

Also, if you let me know which region you are based in I can probably find you links to other ladies in your local area.

  you are not alone

KA xxx


----------

