# Starting Clomid again after miscarriage



## emmastar

Hi all,

I started Clomid in Nov last year (I have polycystic ovaries) and after a lot of confusion realised I had fallen pregnant on the first cycle.  Unfortunately we then miscarried over Christmas when I was 6 weeks   I've met a couple of ladies on here who have had similar experiences but thought I'd start a thread to see if there was anyone else out there who has miscarried on Clomid and is or has been through the process of re-starting it again afterwards...can be quite a lonely experience as although mc's are really common it's the kind of thing no one talks about so am feeling quite alone.

Also I wondered if anyone knows the medical reason for having to wait for 2 normal periods after your mc bleed before being able to re-start the tablets?  I'm medical and can't work out the reason for this other than it makes pregnancies easier to date afterwards.  My bloods showed hormones are back to normal so don't understand the need to wait so long, my cycles are extremely long so it would mean we'd have to wait til Easter to re-start if I waited for 2 periods!  We're prob going to start it sooner but just wondered if anyone had any info on it?

Thanks


----------



## ff77

Hi there, really sorry you had to go through this... Its horrible. I had the same happen, fell pregnant after first round of clomid in November and then lost it very early at 4 weeks. I had a scan to check all was gone straight away and then started norithisterone to start period and then clomid started again on 2nd Dec. UNfortunately didn't work second time... maybe body wasn't ready but glad we gave it a shot as felt better than doing nothing. NOw on 3rd round and feeling more positive. I've felt more like I did on 1st round so hopefully that's a good sign... I knew it hadn't worked last time as I just felt normal the whole time. GOod luck xxx


----------



## starzle72

Hi. I too fell pg on my first round of clomid then had a mc an ERPC 8 weeks ago at around 9 weeks pg. Still no af although i did bleed a tiny bit last week but it was brownish and then just stopped. I was still getting positive pg tests 4 weeks later. I'm not now, but I am not sure what to do but when my af does fianlly come i will probably start my 2nd round. I think they say give it a couple of months to give the body a chance to recover? Like you I dont want to hang around and wait too much longer as I am 40 this year and dont really want to have kids in to my 40s, but you cant always get what you want i suppose. I was elated to fall pg and the mc has devastated me. 
I am starting acupuncture again tomorrow and may also get some chinese herbs off the doctor I see. I'm so lucky to have a friend who is fantastic at acupuncture. Have you tried it? I really think it helped and along wiht the clomid boosted my fertility. I remember feeling positively perky on the clomid!! I dont think i ovulate alone. I dont have PCOS but did have endo years ago, had it zapped off two years ago. I think it's gone as i dont get symptoms like i used to (mainly very painful sex). 
Best of luck with your 2nd round, let us know how you get on x x


----------



## emmastar

Hiya,

I'm sorry to hear I'm not alone in miscarrying after Clomid, it's been so hard, especially after hoping for so long and it finally happening, only to end again so quickly   

ff77 so sorry you've been through this too, how are you feeling now?  Where abouts are you in your 3rd round?  I hope it's going OK and you're still feeling OK on it.
starzle72 also so sorry to hear you've been through this, it must be really frustrating for you that your period hasn't yet returned properly either, have you spoken to your GP or infertility about it or are you just waiting for it to come around naturally?  The waiting is so tough, it's so out of our control.  How did you find acupuncture?  I've had it before for pain relief for a back problem I have but not for this, hope it went OK.  

Good luck to you both, thanks for your replies xx


----------



## ff77

YEah its dreadful when you think you've done it especially on first go, get all excited, we told loads of people, and then its all taken away. I'm on cycle day13 at mo So be on the 2ww soon! GEtting really bad headaches this month which is hard to take but kind of makes me think its working. HAd no symptoms or side effects last month so don't think I ovulated. HAve you decided whether to wait or not? x


----------



## emmastar

I know, we told people too, they were mostly really supportive after we lost the baby though so I didn't regret it, was just tough telling people what had happened after we'd had the scan and were told we'd miscarried.  The disappointment was huge though, feel so anxious it'll happen again, although I know it was probably just 'one of those things' and won't recur...Ah if it helps do keep in touch over your 2ww, no pressure obviously but you're not in it alone!  Side effects are pants but also quite reassuring that it means something is happening in your body.  I got bad headaches throughout the first cycle and quite bad ovarian pain but they were kind of comforting as I knew I was responding in some way.  Pretty sure we're not going to wait the full amount of time, cycles are so long and I don't want to miss that 'fertile window' after the MC.  I spoke to a friend who's an obstetrician and she couldn't think of any reason why it would be a problem so that was reassuring x


----------



## starzle72

Hi again. Yeah, I'm just waiting for ir to come naturally. It'll be 9 weeks next Tuesday! I did have a tiny bit of brownish blood for two days last week so maybe that was it!? I've never wanted my af to come so much. My body is all over the place. Seeing the fertility specialisit in 2 weeks so if it still hasnt come then maybe she can shed some light on this for me. I think it is normal though from what I've heard. It's just not nice! Yeah, we told lots of people too, I'm hoping I will conceive agian soon.


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,

I know, one minute we're dreading the arrival of af and the next we're wishing it to come quickly!  You were 9 weeks which is fairly far along, I guess it's very normal for it to take some time for your body to settle afterwards, esp as you were still testing positive for 4 weeks, that must have been really hard for you  Here's hoping we all conceive again soon.....how did you find the acupuncture? x


----------



## starzle72

I think acupuncture is great for everything but you need to be very careful having it if you think you might be pg. I do think it helped me conceive but I could be wrong. The first round of clomid made me ov, I tested positive for ov on day 9 of my cycle (my cycles are shorter than usual). We had BMS the next day and the day after. It worked! We used pre seed lube and instead cups too. Really went for it!!


----------



## emmastar

Wow day 9 is good, was day 18 for me, but that was much earlier than usual so I was happy.  Might be showing my lack of understanding here but whats instead cups?!x


----------



## starzle72

They are these plastic things like a cup that are used instead of tampons etc to catch af. People use them after BMS to hold all the 'you know what' inside!! I used to put them in before bedtime if we had BMS too! I think they are also called Mooncups and you can buy them in Boots


----------



## emmastar

Brilliant, what a genius idea!  You learn all sorts of things on here.....!


----------



## ff77

Hi there, Just wanted to give you some hope.... I got my   this morning!!! I'm so happy and I think you too will get yours once your body has recovered because we both got pregnant 1st time so it obviously works for us. Fingers crossed for you so hope it works. I've tested 5 days early and its a strong cross and the clear blue says 1-2 weeks pregnant. I've got a good feeling about this one. x


----------



## starzle72

Hey, congratulations! Big hug


----------



## starzle72

peppm, have you actually had your af yet?? can you read my new post. Mines came yesterday but it's not like a proper period and I'm not sure whether I should start my 2nd round or not. Any thoughts?? help!!


----------



## emmastar

Hi girls,

Sorry!!  I haven't had a chance to come online over the weekend (looking after a DH with a serious case of man flu...!)

ff77 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!  Thats seriously wonderful news, I'm so so pleased for you!!  5 days early too is fantastic, must be good that its a strong result that early.  This was your 3rd cycle wasn't it, but you didn't ovulate last month?  Sorry if thats wrong, how are you feeling?  So happy for you 

starzle not sure what new post you mean, is it on a different thread?  I came straight on to this one so I'll have a look around, if not what did you say?  Hmmmm in what way is it not like a proper period?  I'm sorry its all so confusing.  It couldn't be implantation bleeding or anything could it?  I didn't have that but have read about it.  Maybe contact your nurse if you have access to her, it would be great for you if you could start it again, the wait is so tough and its been really long for you.  Could it be different just because its been so long since you last bled so there would be lots of old blood there too etc?  I still haven't had my af either.  The waiting is killing me!!  I have been using OPKs just because I was intrigued to see if I ovulated on my own this month after reading you're meant to be more fertile after a MC.  They turned positive last week and had some signs of ovulation but I normally feel the cyst burst and then get really sore bbs the next day and I had neither of those so don't think I properly ovulated, although doing a day 21 anyway just to check tomorrow.  Hopefully though that means af will come next week and I can start clomid again.

xxx


----------



## starzle72

No, def not implantation bleeding! Now I've been pg before I know what it feels like! 
I decided to start 2nd round clomid today, bleeding a little more today so fingers crossed it works, having acupuncture tonight too. x


----------



## ff77

THank you! I'm was so excited last night I couldn't sleep! WOrries creeping in today but I do feel this is it and in 9 months time we'll have our baby.   yep it was my 3rd round. I don't know if I ovulated last month because I don't get scanned or anything but I'm pretty in tune and I don't think I did. REally do hope you get yours soon. X


----------



## starzle72

ff77, how did you get pg if you didnt ov?! lol


----------



## emmastar

Hey girls,

I would have started clomid again too, am glad you have done starzle, and glad the bleeding is continued.  Bizarre how we flip from dreading periods to longing for them!  Hopefully the clomid will just get all your hormones back in line and will be just what your body needs to get geared up to ovulate again.  I really really really hope it goes well this month and the acupuncture tonight is good.  

and ff77, I agree, you definitely must have ovulated if you're now pregnant!    I can only imagine the anxiety you must feel, I'm sure I will feel the same, but most people go on to have normal healthy pregnancies after miscarrying and we just need to focus on that...

Just me now waiting for some news!!  Will have progesterone measured tomorrow to know if I ovulated naturally, I don't think I did but will find it helpful knowing either way, if I didn't I will know to expect and look forward to af coming and starting clomid again.  If I did then will keep everything crossed but didn't conceive naturally for two yrs so not hopeful, either way hopefully things can get rolling again soon if silly af turns up next week!  xxx


----------



## ff77

ha ha! Sorry for confusing post... obviously I ovulated this month (my 3rd round of clomid) it was the 2nd round last month I don't think I ovulated! Fingers crossed for all of you x


----------



## starzle72

Hi. Well, 2nd day on clomid. Like most of you know i got pg on my first round but then mc at 9 weeks. 
When i took it in sept i had loads of really strong side effects inc bad indigestion and hot flushes.
For the last two days ive had hardly any side effects, except i'm not hungry!
Do you think that means that it is not working properly and i may not ov? going to start testing from day 9, next week


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,

I'm sorry you're worrying   I honestly don't think side effects correlate that directly to whether its working or not.  Some side effects will be from the medication itself rather than its effects on the hormones, and although its comforting to have side effects I really wouldn't be discouraged.  It worked the first time so there is no reason why it wouldn't work again, thats what my nurses told me,and thats why they don't even scan you again if you ovulated last time because they're sure it'll carry on working as it has done already.  Plus its still early days so they may kick in later.  I'd start testing from day 9 as you said, there's plenty of time for symptoms to slowly build up, but please don't feel too discouraged    Praying it works, keep me posted xx


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,

Just wondered how you're getting on with having started the clomid?  Hope everything is going well x


----------



## starzle72

Nothing to report yet really, no side effects, just waiting a few more days now....


----------



## emmastar

Hi girls,
Just wondering how everyone is?  My af FINALLY arrived this week so am on day 4 of clomid tablets on my second cycle, feeling quite anxious but doing OK.  Hope you're doing well too x


----------



## starzle72

Hi I'm on CD14, 2nd round clomid. havnt had much bms this month but did do it twice two days on the trot when i got a positive opk on monday, so we did do it on the right days, i hope!?  
Things are difficult at home and not alot of love around so bms not easy  
I am still hoping for a BFP this month though. If its anyhting like the first one i will have some symptoms by this time last week, as last time i felt exhauseted and nauseous one week after conceiving!


----------



## Buttercup79

starzle72 said:


> Hi I'm on CD14, 2nd round clomid. havnt had much bms this month but did do it twice two days on the trot when i got a positive opk on monday, so we did do it on the right days, i hope!?
> Things are difficult at home and not alot of love around so bms not easy
> I am still hoping for a BFP this month though. If its anyhting like the first one i will have some symptoms by this time last week, as last time i felt exhauseted and nauseous one week after conceiving!


Best of luck Starzle - really hope it is good news this month for you. Sorry to hear things are difficult at home, but sending you a big hug.  xx


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,

I'm really sorry things are hard at home   Thats really sad to hear.  All this fertility stuff puts so much pressure on us and our relationships, it can be so painful.  Plus if you're anything like me clomid messes with your hormones and leaves me feeling ten times worse on top of everything else.  Cried myself to sleep last night with just feeling really low.    And its sooooo hard having to be close and actually try for a baby when you feel like doing anything but that, but know you have to.  It definitely sounds like you did it on the right days though, I really really hope it works for you this month xx


----------



## starzle72

Hi ladies, I'm okay, but not sleeping well so feel tired all the time! Glad its the weekend, then next week im on annual leave wed-thur-fri so that will be nice, hope to get some RnR in, much needed. Then Wednesday we pick up my new dog! I say new, she isnt. She's a 7 year old basset hound who needs a new home. She's adorable and im hoping she will make our house a little happier!  
Re the bms, yeah, i think we probably did it enough. Got to have day 21 bloods next friday so hopefully that will show that i have ov. The test said i did. CD15 now so will probably ease off the bms now as i think i ov early on CD9-12 ish although may try to get some more out of him over the weekend!!....
Hope you all have a nice weekend!


----------



## starzle72

Hi peppym. Im CD17 and starting cramping last night. Hoping these may be implantation pains but dreading the idea that my body is not right after mc and my af is coming (i had little bleed last month).
Confused! I dont mind not being pg but would like to think that 4 months later my body would be back to normal?!! 
Keep you posted. How are you hun?


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,

I think it's totally normal to be worried, esp after what we've been through, but I think that your body will be back to normal by now, I'd be really surprised if it was your af coming this early.  I'm worried about the same thing myself, so I do understand, but my logic tells me its normal to be anxious but by now physically things really should be back to normal.  I know its rubbish not being able to know exactly whats going on, and I understand the thinking that if we're not pregnant we can cope with that, just as long as our bodies are at least working properly and giving us the best chance.  But I'd be quietly encouraged by your symptoms, did you have anything similar when you were last pregnant? 

I'm currently CD9 and feeling a bit fed up really.  Like you I'm anxious my body won't respond properly, and CD 18 (when I ov'd last time) seems a really long way away still!  But I'm trying to talk myself out of stressing as it can't help, easier said than done though!  A v close friend told me she was preg at the weekend, which is wonderful for her, but happened in their 1st month of ttc and their baby will be due 3 weeks after ours should've been.  I'm really happy for her, but it also really hurts.  Symptom wise I've got ovarian pain, hot flushes (didn't have those last time) and severe moodiness!!  My poor hubby doesn't know what to do with me!


----------



## starzle72

Hi. Dont take it as red that you will ov CD18 every month, start testing today!
1st round clomid i ov CD9, this time CD11.
I cant remember exactly if i got cramps before. I remember feeling 'odd' then really tired, really sore boobs, then sick, then got a BFP CD27!!


----------



## emmastar

I will start testing I think, I've got pain a lot earlier than last time round so am a bit hopeful that that will mean maybe I'll ov sooner....we'll see, I'll keep you posted!  Keep my updated too with what happens with you.  I remember getting back cramps around CD25 last time which I thought was af pain but in hindsight would've been implantation pains, but didn't dare test because I was so sure it was af, so didn't find out I was preg til a week later, got really sore boobs too so that was the big sign for me.  I really hope it works for us both this month!


----------



## starzle72

peepy - it really feels like af - only had litle bleed 16-17 days ago so maybe that was not af and this is coming?
im confused as opk says i ov CD11!!


----------



## emmastar

Do you mean the pain feels like af or that you're bleeding a little now? That is really strange.  The fact that the OPK was positive is odd if it is af, I didn't think anything other than ovulation and sometimes HCG could make them turn positive, so it doesn't add up that you ov'd a week ago and feeling af come now...I'm not meaning to sound glib or get hopes up or anything but do you think it could be implantation?  Its really usual for that to feel the same as af, but I know what you mean that sometimes you just know its af.  If you hadn't had a +OPK a week ago it might make more sense and that your body is still normalising, but the OPK result really throws a spanner in the works.  Wish I knew what was going on for you


----------



## starzle72

it could be implantation i'll just have to patient i guess!! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!


----------



## emmastar

Really reeeeeaally hope its implantation........


----------



## emmastar

Hey Starzle,

How are you doing?  Been thinking of you, hope everything is OK


----------



## starzle72

Hi. the cramping has eased off now. I could be pg I suppose, but my boobs arent sore and I dont feel sick so I'm wondering if my af will come any day now? I think I'm CD20 today but My cycles could well still be messed up. I'll do a test next friday if it hasnt come...

What will be will be! 

How are you?


----------



## emmastar

Good its not come yet, if you were pg it'd still be quite early to get sore boobs etc, fingers crossed....at least friday is tomorrow so you can test then.  I'm OK, bit impatient and anxious, not ov'd yet and doesn't feel close, last clomid cycle it was day 18 and is only day 12 now, just anxious in case it doesn't work but trying to chill and out and as you say, what will be will be! xx


----------



## starzle72

Hi. If you ov day 18 last time then im sure it just hasnt happened yet if youre only day 12? i wouldnt worry. I'm off to have my day 21 bloods now, cant wait! i hate needles! 
I donr think i am pg this month although my tummy is swollen, i'll just have to be patient.
its next friday i will do test, not today! speak later x


----------



## emmastar

Oh I see, I got confused there!  Hope your day 21 was OK, blood tests are never fun.  Yeah I'm definitelt trying not to worry that I should've ov'd yet, the OPK's didn't turn positive til what will be this coming Tues this cycle and it won't necessarily even be the same this time, it helps knowing yours was a couple of days different to last cycle.  I'm getting more pains now so hoping thats everything starting to work towards that, feel more relaxed now   It's hard to not let this stuff take over your whole life, I notice every twinge and every change, although I suspect thats probably quite normal when you want something so much! Hope you have a nice weekend ahead


----------



## starzle72

Hi Peppy. Hope you're doing okay. x


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,

I'm feeling a bit fed up really...the OPK's had turned positive by now last clomid cycle and they're still negative.  Had loads of pain and symptoms over the weekend which normally happen before I ovulate, but they seem to have gone now   Am a bit worried it was building up but I failed to actually ovulate this time   Guess it could still happen but feeling a bit disheartened!  How are you doing? x


----------



## starzle72

Keep testing, it may happen later. I tested positive opk this time but i'm not convinced i did ov.


----------



## emmastar

When do you get your day 21 back?


----------



## starzle72

tmro I hope.


----------



## emmastar

Wahoo, OPK turned positive this morning, we may be in with a shot after all


----------



## starzle72

excellent, good luck x


----------



## emmastar

Thanks   Just seen your day 21 results on the other thread, they're fab!!


----------



## starzle72

I know, really surprised, even higher than the 1st round!


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,  me again...... got myself in a panic and just wanted your opinion!  Normally I get positive OPKs for 2 days, I did in my first clomid cycle and ovulated on the 2nd positive day.  I got my first strong positive yesterday but negative again today and I don't feel as though I've ovulated yet (normally really hurts so can tell), do you think I could still ovulate?x


----------



## starzle72

Hi, I dont really know as I stop testing once I got a positive. 
I would guess that if you got a +opk then that means you have ovulated. 

I did a pg test yesterday it was negative. i can feel my af coming. I hope it's a proper period this time as I havent had a proper bleed since september!!
I know i wont be able to fall pregnant until i do


----------



## emmastar

Thanks Starzle.  Sorry the test was negative, but you sound quite upbeat and like you have some perspective on it all which is good.  I'm sure that if you do have your af it will be 'normal' following a progesterone that was that high so I'd be confident that even if it didn't happen this time it's all being set up to give you a good chance next time


----------



## starzle72

AAHHHHH, I can really feel my af coming, baaaaaaad cramps and tiny bit of blood. I dont mind that im not pg this month, just want my body to be back to normal?
hoping for a proper bleed. follie scanning this month...


----------



## emmastar

Really hope cramps settle for you, us ladies have to put up with a lot!  I do think everything will be back to normal next time round, its great that you'll be scanned too. How did you arrange that? Did you have to ask? They wouldn't scan me this cycle but if it doesn't work i think i might try and push for scanning next time, would really help with the anxiety. Do you have anything coming up to look forward to? Think we deserve treats!x


----------



## starzle72

Hi, man this period is a killer, bleeding properly, definately! First one for 5 months! Have yours started properly yet, i think your mc was dec? Mine was nov, so its taken my body 5 months to get back to normal. I'm back to my 25 day cycles again. Will take 3rd round clomid tmro.
No, I didnt ask for scans but the last time i saw my consultant i was very depressed and tearful and had not had a proper period and i expressed my concerns that the ERPC may have thinned the lining of my womb. She agreed with this and said that next cycle i should be sacnned. I also expressed my concerns that this could potentially make it impossible for me to stay pregnant, should i conceive. When they scan they look at the uterus too.
I've got to walk my dog now before work. How are you? I stayed up until gone midnight last night watching Scarface and now i feel exhausted!!


----------



## emmastar

Hope you're not too exhausted, sounds like a late night!  I'm glad you have a good consultant, she sounds like she knows her stuff and its fab that they'll keep a close eye on you this cycle, really hope everything works as it should this time round.  I was so reassured by the scans the first time, is helpful just to know whats going on, good or bad, its the not knowing thats the killer.
My mc was in Dec, I was only 6 weeks though compared to your 9 weeks.  My next period started 5 weeks later, usual for me, and felt pretty normal, but my mc happened naturally so I managed to avoid the ERPC and I think thats probably what made the difference between us.  I really do think after a 'normal' af that means everything is finally returning to how it should be for you, but the scans will be helpful and more reassuring   Off to a hotel tonight for a night, will be nice to get away and do something different, feeling a bit obsessed with baby stuff at the moment!


----------



## starzle72

Thanks hon, thats a nice message


----------



## emmastar

Anytime!


----------



## starzle72

Peppym, the bleeding has practically stopped, AGAIN!! This isnt right....
Hope the scan on wed will shed some light on this a the way things are going my womb lining is never going to be thick enough to support implantation. Grrrr... 

Hope you're okay? I'm meeting a friend for a couple of drinks shortly then staying in tomorrow relaxing.
You got any plans?


----------



## emmastar

Oh I'm so sorry, that is SO frustrating for you, can't believe its not a normal period after all, it started off so promising  I really feel for you, but am so pleased you're geting a scan this week, hopefully they can shed some light on things and work out a plan to be able to help you. Hope you had a good evening out and were able to switch off a bit from everything. We had a night in, am feeling exhausted this week, then church and ASDA today, what a rock and roll life I lead!


----------



## emmastar

Hi Starzle,  hope scan goes well today! Xxx


----------



## Lisymb

Hi Ladies
Do you mind if i join you in here?
I got pregnant on my first round of clomid which i took at the end of december.  Got my first ever BFP 18th Jan.  Went for early scan 17th feb, scan was inconclusive, and had to go back today.  They confirmed today what i already knew, Missed miscarriage, somewhere about 6 weeks.  Would have been ten weeks this week so have been booked in for EPRC on wednesday as cant bare the thought of this going on any longer than it has already.
Im a bit confused about the trying again thing, with clomid.  Would i have to wait for 1 whole cycle before starting the tablets again (I.e wait for a period, have a full cycle and then start tabs after that?>) Is there any reason for this other than to get your hormones back in sync.
If you can offer any advise to me then please do and its good to know there are others in the same boat! After trying for so long, and falling pregnant finally i thought my world had ended ten days ago....:-(


----------



## emmastar

Hi Lisymb,

Firstly I'm so so sorry for you, we've all been there on this thread understand how painful and completely devastating it is to lose a baby after finally believing it was all happening.  You're very welcome to join us here, its helped me having other people to talk to who have gone through the same thing.

I got pregnant on my first round of clomid but miscarried at 6 weeks too in December.  My clinic told me I had to wait until I bled from the miscarriage, then have two normal periods and start clomid again on the 3rd normal period (after two normal cycles basically).  I miscarried naturally and bled a few days later so didn't have to have an EPRC, but there's another lady on this thread who did have one.  The only reason they gave me for having to wait so long was to let your body settle down and the hormones settle.  I spoke to my GP and she disagreed and said I just needed to have one normal period after the miscarriage and start again on the 2nd.  Thats what I did but af arrived today so didn't work.  If I were you I'd ask them what to do in the hospital about when to re start it.  Because you're having an EPRC it may take you a a bit of time for your body to normalise so they should really advise you on what to do, but definitely have at least one normal period before starting it.

Again I'm just so sorry for you that you're having to go through this.  I know it won't seem like it now but it does get a little easier with time, we'll walk this journey together! xx


----------



## Lisymb

Thanks
Im struggle with the support that close friends and family are "offering" us, who already have their babies or babies on the way.  The "there are lots of people who have miscarriages" line is wearing thin, when all of them fell pregnant almost straight away with no complications and definitely no miscarriages.  People just dont understand how much more it hurts when you've wanted something and been trying for so long!
I feel like hiding away in a little hole for a few weeks until people stop giving me advise and i can get on with my life without the imput of people who have no idea what im going through!I know that they all mean well but i wish they wouldbe more understanding!
Ive got my EPRC tomorrow so hopefully that will help to draw a line under it all and then i can start to get my life back on track.Me and DH have said we will book a holiday in april now to help take our minds of it all


----------



## emmastar

A holiday sounds like a great idea, we're thinking the same thing although may have to wait a while for that...

I really hope everything goes as OK as it can go tomorrow, I know it will be a really tough day, I'll be thinking of you.

And I know exactly what you mean with the advice thing!  We're v blessed with some great friends who did understand having been through difficulties themselves in trying for children, but we shut ourselves away from most other people for a few weeks until I felt a bit more able to shoulder their well-meaning but really insensitive advice.  I remember wanting to throw something at the nurse who did my scan and told me the pregnancy wasn't 'ongoing' because whilst I was crying and understandably upset she began telling me to look at the positives (because she said apparently there were many...?!) and look at the wonderful progress I'd made.  I was screaming shut up so loudly in my head!  I think it's impossible to really understand unless you've been through it, but I don't get why people can still be so insensitive.  Its common sense that telling you miscarriages happen to a lot of people was never ever going to help!!  I think it would be fine to step back a bit for the next few weeks while you allow yourself to start to recover, especially the ones who really don't get it, don't feel bad about doing that if its what you need xx


----------



## Lisymb

Thanks  hun, 
well we have bitten the bullet so to speak and booked a holiday!! lol, not quite sure we can afford it but what the hell!! So we are off to the dominican republic for 12 nights on 20th april, we went to the same place for my birthday last year and its beautiful and really relaxing! It helped me a lot last march when i was surrounded by all my family announcing their pregnancies for the first time and will hopefully help me when im there this time to relax and recover from this sad experience.  My hubby loved it there too as he could lie on the beach all day, and just read!!Not a care in the world!
I think in terms of the "insensitive" comments i might just be over reacting at the mo because everything is still raw, but i think maybe taking a step back from a few people wouldnt hurt for a while. Im lucky that my mum sufferred two miscarriages after TTC for 12 months, she then had my ssiter who was born with mental and physical disabilities followed by me, so she knows exactly how i feel! 
Hopefully time is a healer and at least i have my holiday to look forward to now! 
Will be in touch after tomoz xxxx


----------

