# surviving the school run



## sarylou (Aug 6, 2006)

Thought seeing as most of us here dread the school run what you do to cope. 
Any tips for others?
What to say to people when they ask "do you not want more?" "when will #2 be coming ?" 
Or when you have had a bad day struggling to do the pick up and drop off come and tell us and we'll rally round and support you. 

I personally just dont know what to say to people when they ask about anymore. 
I say the timings not right or some other lame excuse. 
As for jordan he gave up asking for a brother 4 yrs ago and if i mention it he says "eugh no thank you they will annoy me"  

I also get to school when the bell has already rung and people are leaving so i dotn have to stand at the gates or in the playground i meet him at the gate. 

thats it from me for now. xxx


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## Keira (May 18, 2005)

Hi Sarylou

oh that dreading question -  I just say things like 'one child is enough' and they reply 'an only child is a lonely child'          I often think if I had 2 that question would stop but then again they might ask when are you having your 3rd.    I should be so lucky !!

Kx


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## sweetpeapodder (Feb 6, 2005)

hope it's ok that I respond? I still lurk on this board...

Once a mum said I was lucky to have just the one (this was about a month after my 2nd m/c). I just said that I had not chosen to have "just the one." 

Now I get comments about having left such a long age gap between siblings....! (but I appreciate which is the worse comment)

peeps with no experience of IF just don't think do they?


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## still_hoping (Jan 23, 2007)

I think that most people don't think when they open there mouth... I hate meeting new people a different reason, but for the same question.."how many kids do you have"... I hate having to answer .. I have 5,but one is in heaven. My dd died in Dec 05, when she was 7 weeks old. We were told when she was 4 days old that she would die before she was one. It was very hard, as I had my dd, but she was being taken away from me and I didn't know when. I would see others with their babies and it was horrible. I still find it really hard seeing pg women and babies. 
I know what you all think... because I have 4 already. But it really doens't matter how many you have. I miss my dd everyday and ttc is the only think that stops me from cracking up, But time is no longer on my side and I may never get the chance again. I hate the fact that it will be taken from me and there is nothing I can do about it.
I hate that question... well will you be having any more..........ahhhhhhhhh I get it aswell, and I also get..."god... you must be mad"... etc etc... so to be honost I don't think it matters how many you have.. you still get the "stupid comments"
If you have one it's..."well whens the next one"
If you have 2 boys/2 girls..."well you will be wanting a girl/boy next time..."
If you have 3...."you will be wanting a football team.."
They can't help themselves.. 
Please don't let "them" stop you from going to the school gate.. they aren't worth it.. All I do is...ignore the questiona and but in with something totally stupid.... eg "did you see Eastenders Last night"or " I was in Tesco and,....." anything but answer the  stupid questions.
Take Care
(((HUG)))
Bexx


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## kelway (Dec 9, 2006)

evening y'all, still hoping - i am so sorry to have read your comment, it must have been so awful (& still is) for you, all i can say is i am really sorry. at least i don't try and have the clever answers (in response to everyone elses comments) about people and their well meaning nonsense. in having a dd already i now know that it doesn't matter if you already have one or ten children, once you have the ache for a child it is so real and personal and lonely and nothing with eliviate that pain. when i had a mc @ 9 wks years ago everyone says nonsense such as 'at least you know you can get pg' or 'dont try so hard to get pg as it will stop it happening', and then of course trying for another you get more nonsense on a regular basis (usually on a school run such as 'how many children do you have' the way they assume you have more than one, blah blah yawn ZZZzzzzz. one thing in common i have picked up from all of you lovely ladies however is your privateness of your feelings poing being that none of you seem to declare in a response to 'are you going to try for another' instead feeling the need to disguise the truth. i am the abnormal one among you as i get a kick out of being honest, have done for many years, unusually open and confident. if anyone makes the mistake of asking me when am i going to have another i openly respond with i cannot have any more children or at least it is very unlikely despite trying for two years. this in an evil way makes me feel better, to know i have made them feel embarassed and basically awful. it should stop them making the same mistake as their casual comment equal to that of 'did you see eastenders last night' can cause terrible pain, i am upfront enough to be able to handle the awkward silence that predictably follows. i am going through an anger phase (the last few days) which probably explains why i am keepingmyself to myself more than ever on the dreaded school run as i know that if some poor unwitting creature makes the mistake of saying something on the lines of how sad it is if myrtle grows up an only child i know i will explode, i already have my response rehearsed, one will be 'i am sure she would have preferred to have been born an only child than to have not been born at all' apart from anything else, i have a sister whom i sadly actually don't like and my memories of childhood seem to mostly be as if i were an only child anyway. here are some tips - take your mobile phone and pretend to be talking into it, especially if someone you REALLY don't like is walking towards you (works a treat); find a spot where the gather crowd of fishwives congregate but is as far away as possible, that way you can wait there and only approach once it appears the doors have opened and you can go in thus avoiding all the cooing at the latest newborn or the imminent arrival of another ones brood. blimey, i am so hostile, sorry everyone, i just feel very hormonal and angry once i start to type. xx


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