# LGBT - Any other 2ww-ers out there?!



## nickster

Dear oh dear... 

I'm a day into my 2ww and the next fortnight is stretching out before me like a very long stretchy thing. 

Not helped by the fact that I've just been on holiday for two weeks (OK, at home, but with loads of visitors, ice creams, dozing in the deckchair etc etc). Now back at work and feeling v gloomy. 

Anyone else sharing my frustration? Hows about some distraction techniques?!

Nickster x


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## lucky2010

Not on 2ww, but wishing you the best of luck for a 2nd time lucky.

Rach xxx


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## Tonia2

Hi Nickster,

I hesitated to post because I'm nearly off the 2ww, but then thought, what the hell...!

I had my third fresh IVF cycle two weeks ago now, EC (egg collection) on Tuesday 10th, ET (embryo transfer) on Thursday 12th, so am 12 days post ET. AF is due today, I'm pretty much as regular as clockwork and technically, today is the day that if I do an HPT it should give me an accurate reading. Officially, I'm not meant to test til this Friday. I was going to test this morning, but have chickened out so far... preferring to remain in a fantasy world for now methinks... 
At least until I'm forced out of it, that is - I've just been to the loo and I'm thinking there's definately a pinky tinge there, so I'm not feeling the slightest bit hopeful.

But I'm pretending otherwise. 

But, anyway, your questions re. distractions: This is my 12th 2ww on treatment so I'm somewhat getting the hang of it (unfortunately it's not getting easier !  ) A FFer told me a really good idea once (it might have been Mable, ...hmm, can't remember  ) -to do a project or learn a new skill during your 2ww. That way, by the end of the 2ww if you've finished your project and if its' a bfn, than at least you've got something to show for the time spent! As well as being distracted! That idea appealed to me -my projects have included really depressing things like sewing/mending that I always say I'm going to do but haven't yet; printing and organising years of photos that were on my computer ripe to be lost in cyberworld should my computer crash (unfortunately, I haven't come anywhere near to finishing that one yet), knitting a scarf, making a mobile for a newborn baby relative (a therapy of sorts) and serious decluttering of different rooms of the house. Or you could learn a new language or put in a garden or learn to crochet or whatever.... This last 2ww I've seemed to have had alot of unplanned visitors popping over (most of whom I've not told I'm 2wwing) and though not planned it has been a really helpful distraction. And we've just got back from Melbourne early this morning, where we've spent the last 4 days shopping and sightseeing. I found I'd go a whole afternoon without remembering I was on the 2ww, which has been a minor miracle. Distraction / keeping busy _really _ helps!!

Good luck... 
Love Tonia
x

8am: Might as well put the update here: 
Yep, it's a bfn for me, the pinky tinge was an accurate predicter!! Ah well, a short but sweet time on the 2ww thread!! Off to the IVF thread I go....


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## nickster

Oh *Tonia*, I'm sooooooooo sorry to hear it's turned out to be a BFN again for you. You've really been through the mill haven't you? You're sounding remarkably chirpy, but I suspect that's probably not the case... Here's a trans-continental  for you.

Thanks for all your distraction ideas... you really are an expert aren't you?! And such a positive way of looking at things. I think my main problem this time round is that my 2ww has coincided with returning to work, starting with a couple of days in the 'office' at home where I'm going completely loopy on my own. Two days ago the house was full of people (including my partner and dad-to-be J) and laughter / sperm dances / you get the picture!

Plus yesterday it rained and rained and rained, so I felt completely trapped. Now you've made me feel a bit guilty that I didn't knuckle down to my French homework! But the sun's shining today, and next-door's siamese cat's just paid me a visit which has cheered me up. Reckon a walk by the sea and a spot of gardening should do it (sod work! ).

Thanks for cheering me up. And so sorry that it came with bad news for you... What's next? Another round of IVF? Whatever it is hope all goes well, and lots of luck . It'll happen sometime...

Nickyx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Tonia I am so sorry to hear you result- my heart does go out to you . 

I am on my 2WW and banished to the sofa at my donor and his partner's house and being thoroughly spoilt!  I am not allowed off the sofa for 4 days as Zita West's book says so!!!- I'm daytime TV watching, having lovely food, computer and cathcing up with letters etc, reading papers/magazines even though I did bring some work work with me - I blamed the steroids for the increased appetite though!! I ma taking the 2 weeks off- my GP gave me a sick cert for 2 weeks, but I will go back the monday after test day on the Friday!

Anyway the sun is shining today and the seagulls chirping 

L xx


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## Mable

So sorry Tonia        You must have had a gutful of this.


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## Tonia2

Thanks guys, 
... I've been busted!!  You're right Nickster, my "remarkable chirpiness" _is_ just a big front!!  I'm not sure how it happens but often when I sit down to write, all this silly stuff just pours out my fingertips!! 

I *do* feel rather cr*p.  Thanks for your hugs and thoughts.

But, I have managed to preform a major miracle in that I have a appt with my consultant last thing this afternoon. The receptionist must have felt sorry for me when I told her I was happy to sit in the office all day and wait for an impromptu gap. She must have sold it to him!! We live miles away from the clinic (a 3 1/2-4hour highway drive away), so he comes up to do a clinic in our area once a month, and it happens to be this afternoon and tomorrow morning he's here. We have driven down there for a 15min appt a few times before now, but it's wonderful if we don't have to. We have done that trip to death!! Not to mention the petrol. So, whew, at least we can plan the next thing!!  I find that helps after a bfn - to be about to swing into action immediately and plan the next step. I hate all the waiting around otherwise.

I'm not sure whether this is the right spot to share this, but something really upset me last night and I would love someone else's perspective: It's got a religious flavour so it might not make sense to alot of you, so feel free to ignore it: 
Last night Bron's mum rang (she lives interstate) and while she gets on ok with Bron, I feel prickly toward her for various reasons - little things... like the fact she doesn't think we should be having children because it's wrong to be in a same-sex relationship; and the fact that one of her sons (Bron's half-brother) has committed paedaphilia and gotten away with it, and she refuses to acknowledge/believe it despite hard evidence from his daughter .... 
We're all from a religious background (pentecostal type christian church stuff) and Bron and I definately aren't accepted into that realm at all anymore- so we get very little family support. Virtually none, in fact, except that Bron's mum keeps in contact but in doing so, mostly avoids discussing anything remotely controversial. Makes for boring conversations, & I generally don't bother talking to her beyond being polite, and just hand the phone over ASAP. But Bron just tells her stuff anyway -figures her mum just has to get over it and hear it despite the attempts at avoidance. When I got pregnant last year she happened to ring soon after and I excitedly (_stupidly_) told her. Her reply was "well, you know what I think about that, I don't want to know". Yep, that shut me up. I didn't bother telling her when I miscarried, though Bron did. Apparently she said she was sorry we lost it. Yeah, right...

Anyway, she rang last night, so ever-optimistic, darling Bron told her of our latest bfn, (perhaps hoping for some sympathy  ) and Doris, said that she'd been thinking about it and wondering that maybe I'm having such a hard time because God simply doesn't want me to have children, so nothing I do will ever change that. From a logical point of view I know that's just stupid, but, perhaps because that belief system is such a strong part of my history, now I'm really struggling with it. 
The problem is that there just isn't any other explanation. People get pregnant at my clinic all the time - I've met heaps. I don't have any medical /fertility problems, I ovulate like clockwork, have a fantastic lining (all the scan operaters always comment on it) I produce good quality eggs that have a fantastic fertilisation rate - the only problem encountered with all that is that I don't produce alot, so need mega-drugs to produce a below-average amount of eggs. I have never smoked or taken any drugs, only drink occasionally and have never binge-drinked, am now vegetarian, and have always had a diet high in fruit/veges, am only a tiny bit overweight (BMI = 26- and that's only happened since starting IVF) and don't even have any cleaning type chemicals in the house (haven't had for years)...!!! ...I don't understand why it's not working!!! I'm working part-time in a relatively stress-free job - it's a really quiet nightshift job ie. 4 nights fortnight; and I've even researched that -nightshift is known to affect ovulation patterns for some women, and is shown to have very little other effects in fertility treatment. It certainly hasn't changed my ovulation patterns, and anyway I haven't been at work since 2 weeks before this last cycle because I arranged a heap of leave and have been just pottering around at home for ages now it seems... I don't feel stressed by anything much other than treatment itself (and my mother-in-law)! And I'm not a uber-stressed, always-on-the-go type personality anyway....And my mum and sister, aunts and grandmothers on both sides all had no problems concieving... _I just don't get it!! _

Whoops,  That turned into a bit of a rant. 

I guess it's human nature to look for or create meaning, or a reason for things happening the way they do, and to try and create explanations when one is not forthcoming. My consultant says it's purely a numbers game. Akin to gambling. (I'm crap at that too -Bron always wins something at the pokies and I never have once. So I don't do it anymore.  ). I've got the worst luck then, it seems. 
So, I can't shake the thought that maybe Doris is right. I think I've always worried that this might be the case and have avoided thinking about it, but, to have her actually say it has thrown it out there for me to look at. If it were true, that would make God a completely cruel, vindictive [email protected], and, and... I just don't like him anymore!!! _>there's no smiley of a 2yr old throwing a tantrum on the supermarket floor - so you just have to imagine one here: >_____<_
I guess I need to decide whether I even believe he exists anymore. It's a deeply engrained thing, unfortunately. Like I said, I'm not sure if any of you hail from a similar background, so it might not make alot of sense to you. But, hey, if any of you do, feel free to share!

I'm still not sure this is the best place for this. Hmm, don't want to lost the above novel though so won't try to move it yet. Please don't let my current despair get anyone on the 2ww down!!!  This ttc lark works for most of us LGBT-er's!! 
Thinking of Nickster and JJ  Hopefully a few more will be joining you soon...

love Tonia
x


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## snagglepat

Oh Tonia,

I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time and still getting these BFNs , and that Doris has well and truly thrown a spanner in your emotional works. You know where I stand personally when it comes to spirituality, but my Dad's side of the family are uber catholic, so although I seem to manage not to let any of it affect my own personal beliefs I do have experience of religion making a serious mess of family relationships and of it causing people to say and do amazingly cruel and hurtful things in the name of 'good' and god. About half my Dad's side of the family have written me (and me equally non-hetero sister) off completely, but at least by doing so we don't actually have to experience their distress at our wayward ways (and the hateful comments and behaviours that come from that). I have one aunt who was willing to maintain very tentative contact, but she recently became a nun in an order that essentially live as hermits on a tiny Scottish island so I'm guessing that might be the last I hear of her now.

However, if a christian-type god really did have the power to and was punishing those of us who didn't do things as he wanted them to, then none of the people on this board would be pregnant. I certainly wouldn't be with my pagan-style beliefs! We're considering choosing a name for our child that is based on our shamanic power animals. Surely that would be worthy of not only not conceiving, but probably of suffering some other form of biblical-style curse for the rest of eternity. (I just checked - there are no boils forming yet.)

Equally, I've just totalled up your attempts and can see you've had 12 now - a mixture of IUIs, IVFs and FETs (is this right?). I know we were using different methods, but with Rae but she equally is in perfect health, has a great BMI, a fab diet etc, although I guess she is a few years older than you - we were trying with her between the ages of 35 and 37. We did 12 cycles with her too and got one BFP which quickly became a BFN and didn't get any further than 5 weeks. Yet here I am with PCOS, endometriosis, and a BMI over 30 and I get pregnant on our 6th attempt. This process is not a fair or equal one and there are no guarantees. Conception will happen, or not, on a seemingly completely random basis. It's not a personal attack on you when it doesn't work. It's upsetting, frustrating and down right horrible, but it's not because of who you are or your life choices. You and Bron are going to make amazing parents. Anyone who knows you (that hasn't succumbed to religious manipulation) can see that in an instant, and I really do think that you know it too, somewhere, deep down, where Doris and the rest of your religious family hasn't managed to reach with their big stirring sticks.

I'm really, really sorry that you have to deal with comments like that from Bron's mum, but please don't let them shake your belief in your lovely partnership and beautiful future. You have a right to that, as does everyone, regardless of spiritual belief, or any other form of difference. I know everything is shaken for you now after another BFN, that's always the hardest time to find any positivity, but I have _absolute_ faith that you guys will get there, someday and somehow. I may not be a christian, but my faith and belief is equally as valid as Doris'. It's up to you whether or not you choose to give it the same weight.

I hope the appointment went well.   

Sending massive amounts of love to you both.

Gina. xxx

PS. A few personals before I go:

*JJ1* I'm so glad you hear you're getting spoiled! I'm sending lots of lovely sticky vibes to your embies.   

*Nickster*, tons of positive conception and implantation thoughts coming your way too.


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## duff

Oh Tonia. I'm so, so sorry to hear that you got a BFN.

Gina has written so well on what Doris says that I don't have much else to add on that. Oh hold on, of course I do! It's a personal bugbear of mine, that whole "it was meant to be" stuff.

And you're right. It_ is_ human nature to try and find reasons for things. I mean, when my friend died last year, I joined the lottery syndicate at work. It sounds so mad now, but I genuinely thought I deserved to win lots of money to make up a little bit for my loss. It just isn't fair. I wish you could build up fairness credits through all the BFNs, money spent, heartbreak and anguish.

But, like Gina says, it isn't a personal attack when it doesn't work. Oh, and also like Gina (I'm such a Gina fan! where can I get my Gina t-shirt?) I have every faith in you two.


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## pem

Tonia, 

Just wanted to echo what Gina has said ( I too want a Gina T-shirt Duff!!     ) . I am not religious in any sense of the word, more of a spiritual person with a firm belief in nature and all things earthly but I understand where you are coming from. DP's nan is a religious person and doesn't agree with us ttc and would given the opportunity probably have said the same thing to us over the m/c. When we lost the bean, i struggled with questions of is it because of who i am, what i have done etc but I understand that it isn't. Nature is cruel and harsh and doesn't take into account out feelings and emotions as human beings. I think the biology is easy to understand but the emotional side of things so much more difficult. i know it is hard at the moment for you and DP but do believe in yourself, your relationship and your ability to conceive because you will get there. I don't know you particularly well but from what I have read and experienced of you, you sound like a compassionate and deeply caring human being, deserving of a family and happiness, don't let these ******* rob you of your dreams and hopes..

Emma xx


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## snagglepat

Hehehe, the only t-shirts I've ever produced have 'BRA - Bisexual Recruitment Army' emblazoned across the chest!  Anyone who wants one is welcome to them - they raise funds for Bi Community causes. They're for sale on http://www.comboutique.com/ginas_bi_stuff. 

Big hugs to all,

Gina.


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## Mable

Its Edith here - too lazy to log out and back in as me...

Jsut wanted to say hello to you Tonia . I'm so sorry to hear it didnt work for you this time. It is so utterly gutting. I have a mixed religious background ; brought up a catholic until I went to college and then had the opportunity to go wild - I became a born again christian!!!! WHY OH WHY ?  I was in that until- funnily enough - I met Kate. we actually met at a happy clappy church and the pastors wife saw a new young fresh face and asked me to go and look after her.  ok perhaps took it a bit far but....I soon left the church as a result of falling for her but also a general disatisfaction at the belief system.

I know how pervasive these God feelings are (for me) and how deep they run. However much you rationalise it there is something very powerful that eats away, nags at you. I was having counselling at the time of meeting Kate which helped to process my feelings towards her, my relationship with God and desire to have children at some point. ( he was interestingly also an Anglican vicar,  who informed me on our very last session that yes he did have a partner and his name was Martin. It was a wonderful end! ) I dont feel I have ever fully resolved the whole god thing for myself but I somehow have managed to live a very happy life with a certain amount of peace about it all. ( perhaps pushed it to the back to be dealt with another time - I do think about M. having a church experience as he grows up and we are lucky enough to be vaguely near a  church with gay vicar and some LGBT congregation. perhaps one day I do like the hymns...) 

But some churches in my opinion have a habit of making God smaller than I think is the reality and preaching how God is there affecting our lives on a daily basis.I believed that once too - I prayed outloud with Kate when we were first friends about whether she should have her hair cut short..!!!!! embarassing or what.. I think she pretended to respond with " umm" but was actually surpressing  hysterical laughter..)  If we believe God is there pulling our strings  then we just end up feeling bad when things don't work out as we think or want. We put it all onto God. yes it is am amazing "blessing"  ( luck)to get pregnant and carry it full term but if that isnt happening yet, God is not there preventing it. In my opinion. HOpe that wasnt just a me waffle - its just I know how this can run deep and can cause such hurt and prevent us having peace with ourselves and if you believe, God. search for your own peace. Be gentle on yourself. its a hard lesson to learn ( especially if you have our sort of backgrounds).Just wanted you to know you are not alone in those beliefs. We know they are not true but its hard to resolve all those nagging voices. they are human remember. sure you will find your own way forward as you have already. 

take care and hope your chat with the doctor went well.

lol Edith.


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## Tonia2

Thank you guys - you are all so sweet - I'm going to reply to you on the LGBT IVF thread because Í'm feeling slightly guilty for highjacking the 2ww -er's thread!  And I've decided that should be my home base for now. It is a bit confusing with all thses threads...

My appt went well on Wednesday, and I'm lining up for a FET next cycle, ie in about 2 weeks time. Ovulation may be delayed a bit so soon after the fresh IVF cycle, but I have a first scan booked for Monday the 6th to see how things are going by then.... Woo hoo! He said they would be more agressive at selecting embryos this time and put two back (the clinic has a 1 embryo policy for women under 36 years). At least we have 6 to play with this time, and not 1 or 2. So I'm feeling a little more hopeful and I may be legitimately back on this thread soon...  Having a new cycle to think about has made me feel a heap better. Lucky 13th time maybe

*JJ * and *Nickster* - what date have you both planned to test (officially and non -officially?) -(so that we can count down the days with you!) Have you manged to get any major projects happening for distractions  or at lest wedged yourself out of the couch *JJ*? I'm so jealous of you having your donor and his partner. They sound like a dream. I would have loved someone to have been involved like that- if only we'd known anyone so appropriate!! Keep letting them spoil you!
Love to you both, 
Tonia


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## nickster

A VERY quick hello from me, as I'm in the office and it's not really the time or place to join in the theological discussion that's happened in my absence! 

Work has succeeded in distracting me from my 2ww - though I'd much rather be glued to the sofa like JJ1!  Reckon I'm going to try and hold off testing until Sunday, so keep crossing your fingers (or pressing your thumbs as they apparently do in Germany !).

More from me when I'm back on my island paradise away from the boss's gaze...

nickster x


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## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks for your good wishes on the 2ww- I test on Friday official clinic test date (12 days post a 3 day ET) they say no HPT and just go for a BHCG, but I won't be able to resist until the phone call so intend to do a HPT I probably won't test early as I had 15000 of prgnyl to trigger and they say 1000 units per day to get rid of it!
I have had no signs or symptoms, just an odd twinge on the right hand side lower abdomen today.

Nickster- Hope it is going ok for you

I came home today, as 8 days of being spoilt was enough- and having my injections done every night, and I better come home before I forgot what it was like!! The boys are also gearing up and on a very tight pre Pride pampering schedule for this weekend (and taken a weeks holiday for it-  from daily gym, hair dos, eyebrows waxing, eyelash tints, manicures, sunbeds daily and spray tans - it would be exhausting to watch. I really hope the weather holds out.

I can feel that I have put on loads of weight, I'm 'blaming' the steroids!! and if I get a positive then the baby can take 'the blame' for me being a piggy and no exercising!!

Tonia- Hope that you are getting lots TLC.
L xx


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## starrysky

Good Luck L! Hope this week passes quickly for you!

H


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## Tonia2

JJ  - testing so soon!! Friday's not far off, I think I had lost track of how long this threads been happening- I bet you haven't felt like it's gone quickly though... Good luck! I would be doing an HPT as well, how could you not??! I laughed imagining the boys pre-Pride preparation! I felt exhausted reading it! Hope they have a ball and they can celebrate doubly with you this weekend.  

Nickster - Fingers firmly crossed (& thumbs pressed!) for you too. Good luck with holding out til Sunday. I'd always been tempted to test early but more recently I 've found I've lost the urge to! I think I'd rather find out by getting AF, rather than via an HPT. That way at least I'm not torn up wondering if the negative on the HPT was wrong because I didn't have my period yet. ...good luck hun, 
will be thinking of you both in the next few days.

Love Tonia
xx


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## nickster

Thanks *Tonia * - really hoping you'll be back on this board in no time at all. I think you're probably right about holding off on the HPT... I'd much rather get a negative result through the arrival of AF.

Yet another of my friends has announced she pregnant (that's FIVE of them now!). Of course I know it's very early days for us (only two attempts so far), but most of my straight friends seem to get up the duff (no pun intended *Duff*!) in the blink of an eye... even when they've been on the pill for years, have irregular cycles etc etc.

Come on *JJ * - maybe this will be our month!!!


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## pem

Well, as we went for it last night, I guess it's me officially on the 2ww now, AF due in 12 days so i will defintiely find out through her arrival rather than the HPT if i last that long without being a naughty tester     . Didn't last time, tested on day 25..oops!!!

We will be having a cuople more insems over the next couple of days,. so i am being positive and hoping for the best!!

JJ - Friday is not so far away now, how are you holding out You have been well looked after by your donors partner. The pre-pride arrangements are great, I am impressed!! Lets hope they start the weekend off well with a BFP!! Lots of good luck to you    

Nickster - Good luck in holding out till Sunday, you have significantly more will power than me, I would test tomorrow if it meant anything     I am a chronic tester, the compulsion to pee on a stick is just too much ! Lots of good luck to you too     Evrybody always seems to be pregnant when you are on the 2ww, you will be too soon!!
.
Hope this is the time for both of you!!

Emma (biting fingernails already!!)


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## ♥JJ1♥

Emma- welcome to the 2WW trials and tribulations and analysing everything. I'm sure that you've eaten enough greens!!I'm like that- If only I'd lost more weight, or taken more/different vitamins and probiotics before etc   

Nickster- Hope your 2WW is ok any twinges etc    

Tonia- How are you doing hun, have you a plan finalised yet?

I don't have any symptoms so probably not pregnant!!! despite being on a whack of IM Gestrone, I've been very good and not tempted to test yet  - although I have taken the tests out of the drawers today (all 8 of them from different batches and 2 different brands just to be sure)!!! The clinic say just have the blood test and no HPT - but then waiting for the call would be worse and at least I can be prepared before they call!!! I can honestly say there is nothing that I had done to jeopardise anything this time, although my lining was thin, but out of my control!!!!

My donor's partner said he'll take my bloods on Friday morning for me (there is one dodgy phlebotomist at the lab that I have got twice and it's scared me since then, fortunately he was there both times and intervened and took over much to my relief and the phlebotomist's!!) so now we do our own bloods at home I just drop the vials off in the lab for them to run the tests. If I do get pregnant it will have been a real joint effort from donor, his partner and my friends lending an injecting hand 

In a way the longer the 2WW continues the longer I can dream on and not have my bubble burst either!!

I went to a London girls TTC meet up last night for the first time and it was nice to meet other people in the same boat, and knowing what you are all going thorough, but it must have been like when you guys all met up, you 'know' people online but I was very apprehensive meeting face to face,  but it was fine and everyone was lovely.  I don't know what the other diners though if they overheard the conversations about follicles, embryos, sperm, cycle lengths etc etc. 
Good luck  everyone

L xx


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## pem

JJ1 - No symptoms does not mean not pregnant.....I had no real symptoms to speak of when i got pregnant, only after about 6 weeks!! and i know a girl at my hairdressers who has had absolutely no symptoms apart from the increasing belly throughout the whole of her pregnancy!!

Heres a BFP dance for you to get yout hrough the next two days!!

                   

Well done on keeping them tests in the cellophane


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## Tonia2

Good luck for the next few days, *JJ * and *Nickster*! I have every available appendage crossed and am waiting & watching the board with bated breath... thinking of you both, 

*JJ * my 'plan' is to have a scan on Monday and see if / how my follies are shaping up after the fresh IVF cycle. Then depending on how quickly I start ovulating naturally again, hopefully i'll be able to have a FET later in the week. I've realised I don't even know how quickly my body gets back on track after a fresh IVF cycle - because after my first one I was pregnant & then m/c, so everything was out of whack, and after the 2nd IVF I went straight onto a medicated cycle. So who knows, it might take me ages! So I have to sit here twiddling my thumbs til Monday! It's not as bad as the 2ww though... thinking of you! Don't worry about there being no symptoms! Like Pem said - it means nothing!

Toni
xx


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## Veela

A few days off the end of my first TWW and not feeling hopeful.  It would have been tremendously lucky for it to happen straight away though.  It's just been such a long time getting to the point where sperm and egg are in the same vicinity.


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## nickster

Hey *Veela * - how's it going? Any news? x


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## Veela

No go this time, I'm afraid.  Will try again this month.


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## Tonia2

So sorry Veela   
Have sent you a PM.       


Tonia


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## nickster

Hi Veela

Really sorry to hear that. You're right that it would have been very lucky on your first attempt, so keep your spirits up and focus on being positive for next time - it'll come around before you know it! 

Nickyx


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## Veela

On our second 2WW now.  Went back to the clinic this morning.  Not a pleasant experience.


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## pipgirl

Hi there,

We are now in our 2nd 2ww fron donor iui.

Im on about day 3/4 now and was fine until came back into work, where i just cant concentrate!
But id better go and do SOMETHING constructive as should actually be really busy today!
Nice to know someone else on the LGBT thread is waiting too!]]

Pip and DP.


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## Veela

Crossing my fingers for you Pipgirl.


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## mintyfaglady

Just coming to the end of yet another one and it looks like a bust yet again.  

I'll likely have an HSG during my next cycle as that's now 3 failed clinic cycles (not to mention the 8 at home tries with a known donor). Those of you that have has one, did you get an insemination during the same cycle? I've heard that the HSG leaves you with an increased chance for the next few cycles and seeing as they do it before ovulation, I figured it would be a good idea to IUI the same cycle? 

Pip and Veela, good luck with distracting yourselves!


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## Veela

Thanks.  Sorry to hear about yours.  I feel quite detached this month.


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## nickster

*Minty* - I hadn't seen that you've had another dud cycle. Commiserations...

*Pipgirl * & *Veela * - keeping fingers crossed for you and everyone else on their 2ww's (me included!)


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## mintyfaglady

Hmmm - hold your commiserations for the mo Nicky - the spotting has slowed up. No period yet. This is unusual for me - I normally don't make it past CD 11 and today is CD12. I was UTTERLY convinced yesterday that it was just around the corner. Now? Not so sure.... Trying not to get all overexcited again.


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## mintyfaglady

On second thoughts - scratch that. The old ***** is here, she was just waiting for me to post before she let her prescence be known.

I'll be having an HSG dye test this cycle and have high hopes it will work its magic for me. Does anyone know if we'll be allowed to inseminate on the same cycle? I think they usually do the HSG around days 9-11 so still plenty of time to catch ovulation.


----------



## Veela

Feeling a bit miserable.  I have really sore breasts (which I get for up to two weeks before my period) and I'm full of cold.  I think my boobs are starting to deflate, although they hurt just as much, so I know it's unlikely that I'm pregnant.  I'm just so fed up with the pain.  I could stand it if I knew it was for a good cause - a baby, but it really is agony.  I was on depo injections for 5 years before I decided to come off them to let my body settle down so that we could try for a baby.  They were an experiment but worked miracles, but now my body's back to excruciating pain for up to two weeks every month. 

Sorry to moan.


----------



## nickster

Sorry to hear you're having such a crummy time of it *Veela*. It's even harder to cope with what your body throws at you during the 2ww... especially after what you went through at the clinic this month. I wonder if there's any other pain relief you can get that doesn't interfere with conception chances?

I'm still waiting waiting waiting. Period's due today/tomorrow and no sign yet, but I'm trying not to get too excited - hardly slept a wink last night... stupid me! Have the joys of office life (including an appraisal - arghh!) to distract me today.

Nickyx


----------



## pipgirl

Morning girls!

Nickster -  hope AF stays away today and its a lovely pos result

Day 10 post diui now..am cramping away as i type...

We dont know what to do about testing as i have to work this weekend and that would be when we would test, but i kind of feel i have to know by saturday as i will really struggle at work (night shift) if its a BFN!
What should i do? We were talking about testing on the thurs or friday maybe?
That would be days 12-13 after basting...we have about 12 bloody hpts!
Am finding this week just as difficult as the first..
Grrrr! So impatient, but cant help myself.

See ya later.
Pip.


----------



## Veela

Crossing my fingers fo you Nickster and Pipgirl.  Good luck.


----------



## nickster

Hi *Pipgirl * - If you can bear it, I'd suggest that you wait until Monday. If you test early you might get a negative result even if (hopefully) a BFP is just around the corner! I've only used a HPT on one cycle and found it really frustrating because it still leaves you with that uncertainty. Better, I think, to wait for AF to arrive, and then you definitely know it's a BFN... Nickyx


----------



## Tonia2

I have to agree with you *Nicky! * I find it's* much * easier to wait or AF than to test and then wonder if the result (either way) is correct or not! It does your head in.

I'm at the end of my 2ww like you, AF would have been due yesterday technically, or today. However following a fresh IVF cycle it's never certain how long things take to get going again, after all the drugs & messing about, so I'm not feeling any the wiser, really. I had originally planned to test tomorrow, but I'm chickening out.... For the first time ever, Bron has been encouraging me to test early - she can't contain herself. The last two mornings shes' got up and said "test today, go on, test today" and each time I've said, no, I'll do it tomorrow, ....I'm too scared to get a bfn!! I'd rather keep the hope alive just another day!!!!  I have been feeling slightly different - weird type of period twinges, slightly stretchy type feelings in the lower abdo, tingly nipples and the occasional mini wave of nausea. But I'm convinced it's all in my head! Argghh! I hate these few days of the 2ww.  My official test date is the 26th - Friday. I might make it to then without testing yet!

 One thing I'm unsure about is that I've had Pregnyl injections through this 2ww ( I had yukky pessaries last IVF) and I had my last one on Thursday night. I've forgotten how long it lasts in your system - it can give a false positive if it's still floating around, which is one reason the clinic doesn''t recommend testing early. I've found varying reports - some people say it lasts up to 14 days, somewhere else said that to work on 1000 IU per day, ie it lasts 1 day per 1000 IU that you've taken. My dose on Thursday was only 1500IU. So according to that reasoning it woudl be well out of my system by now. I know that for trigger injections they give anywhere between 4500 - 10000IU, so it would make sense that it lasts longer in that case. Can any of you IVFer's shed any light?? 

Thinking of you *Pip- * hope the cramping is a good sign... 
Good luck *Nicky* for the next day or so.... are you still going to test on the 25th?
Love Tonia

PS *Veela,* sorry you're feeling so crap. It's grotty the things we have to go through. I hope this next cycle comes around quickly for you....


----------



## nickidee

Hi Tonia and happy Borthday for a few days ago!
I took a 10000 iu Pregnyl trigger injection and they said that it would last in my system up to 10 days. How many injections did you have in total and how were they spaced? The reason that I ask is that I wonder if there is a cumulative effect and that even though your last injection was Thursday, if you were taking a number of injections prior to that, you would need to wait for them to clear your system.
I totally know where you are coming from with the early testing. I did test early - mainly because Ihad had a small amount of spotting - and whilst I did get a BFP, I didn't really believe it and carried on testing for the rest of the week. I think I ended up doing 6 in total.
The rational side of my brain always says wait until official testing day, but who says rationality should reign supreme?
Good luck.
Nicki


----------



## nickster

Hello *Tonia*

I'm going slightly (understatement ) mad here too... I'm on day 29 so would usually be due yesterday/today, tomorrow at the very latest. Am convinced I'm starting my periody cramps, but there's absolutely no sign of AF. 

Guess I'll just have to sit it out - the hours are passing so very slowly and I've had virtually no sleep for the last couple of nights, so am not in the best shape physically or mentally! My brain's playing tricks on me, thinking through the different possible outcomes, even down to how I'll handle the phonecall with J - duh! 

Anyway, it's probably too early to test tomorrow and I'm then away for the night. So it'll probably be Saturday (27th) if I make it that far.

I'm hoping with all my might that you're reading those twinges correctly and it's good news for you.
  

Nickyx

[Your tale of the burning birthday cake did make me chuckle... it's the kind of thing my DP would do!]


----------



## pem

Good luck you guys for all the testing/no testing, waiting for AF to arrive. If it helps, i got positive results on day 24 with my first pregnancy (bless the little bean...) and then on day 27 this time. I really admire your patience waiting, you clearly have amazing willpower. Hope you all get the result you want this time    

Emma


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Nickster and Tonia   for your both let's hope it is  double celebration!!
L x


----------



## nickster

*Emma * - willpower shmillpower... my DP got home from work last night and persuaded me to test. And guess what... there was a faint second line!!! 

We can't quite believe it and neither can the boys (even though they reckon they 'knew' this had to be the one.... yeah right!)   

It's all a bit overwhelming, and I'm trying not to get too excited until a few days have gone by. Plus I want to do a 'proper' test, rather than rely on freebie internet one (any recommendations?).

It also feels a bit strange what with everything that's happening to Alison & Juliette. But I obviously wanted to tell you guys right away - you've been such a source of strength and kindness. Thank you!!! 

Any news from *Tonia*...? I'm so desperately hoping this is your month too.   

Nickyx


----------



## nickidee

Big fat congratulations for your big fat positive! I am made up for you, DP and the boys, Nicky  !
As for tests - Tesco's own is very good - it is rated on a par with Clearblue - and is cheap (approx £3 for two). People also recommend Clearblue digital. I don't think this is any better than the others but there is something intensely satisfying in seeing the words 'Pregnant' come up in the box. Beware though, as I think the digital one is not as sensitive as some of the others so if you go fror that one, wait a few days before testing again.
Congratulation once again!
Nicki


----------



## magsandemma

Hi Nicky

Just wanted to say BIG CONGRATS TO YOU AND YOUR DP, its fab news, enjoy it hun, as with the tests I have to agree that with the clearblue dig that it actually spells it out for you and we had ours on top of the telly until battery died,     , kept looking at it just to make sure!!!  

Tonia  -  Hoping things with you are good and sending you lots of        for your test!!

Maggie
xx


----------



## pem

Oh, enormous congratulations to you Nicky, I am absolutely thrilled to bits for you. Tbh i think that the internet cheapies are ok to rely on, they tend to show up later rather than earlier, this cycle i got a Not Pregnant on a clearblue digital and then a positive on an internet chaepie 2 days later. Although i bet the word 'pregnant' is nice to see, bloomin expensive though!! Normal clearblue ones come highly recommended from me!! bet you'll pee on quite a few sticks over the next week!!!

God, you've made me feel all happy inside!! You guys do deserve this!!

Tonia - sending you enormous amounts of luck and    

Emma


----------



## nickster

Thanks Nicki, Maggie & Emma!!!

Have just forked out for a clearblue digital and sure enough, that magical word came up. So I'm starting to believe...! 

Nickyx


----------



## nickidee

Yeeha!


----------



## pem

Wayhey, well done Nicky!! Take care of yourself and enjoy it!!


----------



## mintyfaglady

Woo hoo!

Massive congratulations Nicky and partner!!


----------



## Veela

That's fantastic news!  Congratulations!


----------



## Tonia2

Well done *Nicky*!! Congratulations! You must be over the moon!! That's such good news. 

Not such good news from me, unfortuanately. AF arrived properly on Thursday after a bit of spotting on Wednesday and a bfn on the pee stick. Pooh! I might take a break for a few months, I've about had enough at the moment. 

Love Tonia


----------



## Damelottie

Congratulations Nicky  

Tonia. I'm gutted for you - and so will my mum be, as I tell her all your updates!   . I'm so so sorry Tonia. I know this journey is getting increasingly difficult for you.
I wish I could say more to comfort you

Love

Emma xx


----------



## pipgirl

Early Testing...

did the stick yesterday am and BFN..there is a faint glimmer since it turns out i messed up my dates and AF not due till mon-tues.
Our official test date is 31st (halloween) but im def expecting AF now.

I know the accuracy of the hpt was only 50% for yesterday but i can be pretty sure its not gonna change now right?
Obviously ill wait and see if AF comes and then ill know for sure but although it is upsetting at least i know 'in advance' when she does show her face.

Any clues?

Pip.


----------



## nickster

Oh *Tonia * - I'm so so sorry to hear your news. I was acutely aware when I got my result that it might not be the case for you. We've been inordinately lucky for it to be so quick for us, when so many of you have been struggling for so long. I really don't know what to say other than to take good care of yourself... 

*Pip * - I think it's probably too early to tell either way, so try not to read too much into yesterday's test. Reckon you're going to have to sit it out over the weekend - keeping my fingers crossed. 

Nickyx


----------



## pem

Tonia - I am so sorry, it is absolutely pooh, I too don't know what to say other than you are an amazingly strong person, generous with your thoughts and actions and I truly believe that it will happen for you. 

Pipgirl - think it may be way too early maybe I tested negative on day 26 this cycle, don't know what day you are actually on??

Emma


----------



## pipgirl

Hi Pem

Im on day 26-27 now i think

I used to have a 32 day cycle but it changed to about 30 days when i lost a stone...on what day did you test pos?

Pip


----------



## pem

Sorry for late reply! I tested positive on day 27/28 and it was a VERY faint line. Keep positive and I really hope it works out for you!


----------



## Veela

AF arrived today.   No response from the clinic to my complaint either.  Will see what they say when I ring them.

Sorry to hear it didn't happen for you, Tonia.


----------



## pipgirl

Awww, Veela.

So sorry this one wasnt to be hun! 
Looks that way for us too im afraid.
Big hugs...might be getting the wine out this weekend.

Pip


----------



## nickster

I'm sorry *Veela*.  Hope you get some joy out of the clinic at least... Nickyx


----------



## Veela

I didn't report back here on my complaint.  They did eventually ring me and apologise and I talked it through with the nurse who inseminated me.  I felt we sorted it out.  Was back there again today, so I'm back in my 2ww again.  Crossing my fingers that it'll work this time.


----------



## duff

Well, I'm just coming up to the end of another 2ww.  It's gone pretty smoothly.  I've given up on symptom spotting because it's never done me any good before!  I'm not even sure when I ovulated this month (our lovely donor was able to provide his services over four days, so I think we got it covered!) and I don't even know when my period is due!  Ignorance is bliss, as they say.    

If it doesn't work this time, I've got a weekend away coming up in two weeks with a dozen or so friends in a cottage in the countryside with lots of wine.  Of course, I'm hoping that I'll won't be able to drink but it's a nice consolation to think of

.


----------



## pipgirl

Errr...
Hello. Feeling quite silly now!
Second OPK was positive and IUI is tomorrow at the clinic! Eeek! Here comes another lovely 2ww ladies!

Veela -  how wierd are our bodies? Its like they know when NOT to do things.. Late ovulation takes me past the scarey weekend dilemma!

Oh my lord.. xmas had better come quick...looking forward to a nice wrangling over which to make more of a fuss over. xmas or hanukah! Hee Hee Double presents and no religious intentions whatsoever! Well maybe a few prayers wouldnt go amiss for lucky number three.

V excited now and going to the picture tonight to celebrate. PHEW!!!!!

Pip and DP/


----------



## Tonia2

hey *Duff,* how are you doing?? Any joy with this last cycle or are you still waiting to see?? ..good luck, have fingers crossed for you.  

Good luck *Pip & Veela*! When do you both test?  
Tonia


----------



## Veela

24th I think.  I was feeling hopeful for the first couple of days but now getting worried that it hasn't worked again - no symptoms different from the last two months.  I'm starting to get secretly worried about money too.  Please please please let it work this time!


----------



## pipgirl

Hi TOnia 

the official date is the 1st December but AF is due before so i should know around 28/29th.

Heres hoping we both get a nice christmas/hannukah surprise. hee hee.

Am feeling quite chilled at the moment but lets see how long that lasts eh?

pip.


----------



## duff

Tonia2 said:


> hey *Duff,* how are you doing?? Any joy with this last cycle or are you still waiting to see?? ..good luck, have fingers crossed for you.
> 
> Good luck *Pip & Veela*! When do you both test?
> Tonia


hello Tonia! brilliant that you got a sneaky try with a known donor. what a shame you don't live closer though.

Well, I don't know what's happening with me. This is what comes of not knowing exactly when I ovulated - I don't know when my period was due! All I know is that I'm a whopping 33 days into a cycle with no sign of blood or period. Got a negetive on an HPT this morning but, of course, I don't know if it's too early!

I'm keeping calm about the whole thing. At the very least, if my period comes it'll mean the next ovulation is not going to clash with my weekend away.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Duff really hoping you have good news 
L x


----------



## Veela

Crossing my fingers for you, Duff.


----------



## duff

still no news either way for me!  Another negetive test but no period!  I dunno what's going on.


----------



## Veela

I hope it's good news, Duff.

I'm not feeling very positive about this one.  From about 5 days after the insemination, I thought I could feel womb stirrings, but they seem to have gone, and my boobs aren't as sore as they normally are at this time - more comfortable but I doubt it's a good sign.

When I was inseminated, I bled quite a lot (they had to poke about a bit).  Do you think that this would have stopped it working?  I have visions of the sperm failing to battle through enormous blood cells.   It never seems to go smoothly.


----------



## duff

Veela, I can't imagine blood would have any affect.  I mean, they'd be putting the sperm up higher than that anyway and the sperm would be swimming upwards and away from it.  I used to have painful IUIs too, it seems to be quite common but doesn't have any affect on the outcome as far as I can see.  

I'm still not sure what's going on with me!  I'm feeling very positive though.


----------



## Mable

Good luck Duff


----------



## duff

Thanks Mable. Still no period! I did a test on Saturday morning that showed negative but then, when I fished it out of the bin that evening, looked a little bit positive. Now, I know you're not supposed to count that, so I'm being very good and waiting before I try again. T is away until tomorrow evening and I'd LOVE to be able to surprise her with a positive test .

At the very least something has happened this cycle. I mean, even if nothing comes of it, it seems like sperm has met egg and _something _ has happened (I'm trying to sound calm here..is it working?!)


----------



## Mable

Keeping everything crossed for you Duff   . It would be a wonderful surprise for T. I've allowed myself a little moment of excitement on your behalf at your lack of period (doing a little dance).
 

ps whenever I've fished them out of the bin later, they've never turned positive....


----------



## nickster

Hey *Duff*... a quick sneaky message from work to say I'm soooooooooooo hoping this is good news for you and T. It's sounding really promising - let us know as soon as you have some news!


----------



## Veela

Really hoping for you, Duff.


----------



## Damelottie

OOOOOH - Good luck Duff!!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Duff  for you
L x


----------



## duff

Bah!  My period has just started.  Oh well.  I was pretty sure it was on it's way as I did a test when I got home last night which was negative.  There are several bright sides to this though.

1. sperm met egg!  even with our super fest lunchbreak inseminations! 

2. I don't have a cyst or anything delaying my period (honestly, some poor women on google have spent months thinking they are pregnant only to find out they had a cyst)

3. I was very calm in the face of potential pregnancy.  I was pleased with how easy it all felt and glad I didn't either freak out, buy any baby clothes that I'd now be weeping over or decide to make a public announcement.  

4. we were nearly pregnant! after all the high tech stuff we've had at the clinic with not even a little bite it's a good sign that the homemade way can work for us.


----------



## Mable

Hi Duff,
Glad it was a positive experience in some ways, although sorry you didn't get the desired result this time.


----------



## duff

Mable said:


> Hi Duff,
> Glad it was a positive experience in some ways, although sorry you didn't get the desired result this time.


Oh I dunno. I was so pleased there wasn't something hideous wrong with me this morning when my period started but now I just feel so sad.


----------



## nickster

Oh crappity crapness *duff*... but well done for putting such a positive spin on it.

I'm convinced that our penultimate attempt was also a near-miss - my period was late and I got what I figured must be implantation bleeding around 10dpo.

So you never know what might happen next time! 

Nickyx


----------



## Tonia2

Oh!    
So sorry Dufff   

Love Tonia
xx


----------



## CookieSal

Sorry it wasn't good news Duff, fingers crossed for the next attempt.  xx


----------



## mintyfaglady

Back in the waiting game again.
Anybody with me?
Minty
x


----------



## lotty1

Am with ya Minty here we go again on the 2ww


----------



## mintyfaglady

Cool!
Go sperm - here's hoping this is OUR month, eh? We'd practically be sharing a due date - now that would be cool!

I meant to mention to you (and others at MFS) that when I went on Tuesday, they had customer satisfaction surveys out in the waiting room. I grabbed one and can send you a copy if you want one? Thought I'd have a moan about their Sat - Mon insem thing! You'd think that with what they charge they'd have posted all of us a copy, with a reply paid envelope! Anyhow - can't hurt, right?

I also noticed that they have a complains contact person - her contact details are on the notice board in the waiting room, along with the contact person for directing concerns to the HFEA. I'll take a note when if I go back.

Oh, and the carpet in the waiting room is HANGING!!


----------



## lotty1

Hi Minty how's it going? Hope you are not counting the days down as it will feel like forever!
Lets hope for some good news so we can have a merry Christmas! 
Yeah would like a copy of the  customer survey if thats possible. I am too busy worrying to take notice of anything prior to the insem.
so have not seen them at all.
   have to agree a new carpet is needed plus still hoping for the biscuits!


----------



## mintyfaglady

Never give up hoping for biscuits! Have pm'd you.
xxx


----------



## mintyfaglady

Ok, the boring first week is now out of the way and the obsessing over fake (or hopefully real) symptoms starts here!


----------



## Mable

Good luck you girls. Hope this is your lucky month. I hate the 2nd week - hope it's positive for you both.
Mable


----------



## mintyfaglady

Cheers Mable.

I think I hate the second week worst too - it's when all my hope seems to drain away and I start thinking this is never going to happen. I'm right busy this week though, so the time is flying. No symptoms, not even anything I could look back on and say, "Ah!" We'll know soon enough though, I guess.


----------



## lotty1

Hi  all just  a quick note to say hope all ok with you am really sorry this is very short but seem to have writers block! I could never be a novelist!
Minty PMd you


----------



## Veela

Reviving this thread as from 12.00 today, I am officially on the 2WW again.    Who else is?


----------



## nickster

Best of luck to you Veela - let us know if you need moral support / distraction! Nickyx


----------



## Veela

Thanks, Nickster.  It went really well this time - pain free, lovely lady doctor, warm room.  I keep saying it was a good omen, but then I'm not really superstitious.    Not sure how I'm going to stand the 2WW this time.  The last time it really hurt and the time before it was agony and I was alone, so I wasn't as obsessive about the wait as I was the first time.  I have a feeling I might be again this time though.


----------



## Veela

Now I know it's not good 'nettiquette' to post after your own post, but I wanted to write something.  Can't tell much difference this time from the others but have been doubled up with agonising back pain since Tuesday morning.  The pain from that is obscuring any other bodily feelings but I'm not sure if things feel different round the womb area or whether that's just my imagination/wind.  Two weeks is a bloody long time to wait but I don't want to wish my Easter holidays away (teacher).

Anyway, good luck Bumble - hope things go well on Saturday.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Veela wishing you loads of luck for your 2WW - may the madness begin! Hope to be joining next week!

Bumble best of luck for sat
L x


----------



## emnjo

well I had my IUI on sat, and it really hurt! Was quite suprised.  

So here we go again! I am positive about it, but not getting my hopes up again - I was convinced last month!! Getting twinges in my ovary area, but again this means nothing!

How are you doing Veela?

Bumble/Emma


----------



## pipgirl

Hey girls!

I had my fifth iui last week and mine REALLY hurt cos the nurse caught me with the speculum on the way out. Was the worst yet!
This is our first with jabs, and i have to admit that its really messed about with my moods and body this time!

They will do one more if this dosnt work and then allow us to move to IVF.

So am nearly halfway through the 2ww now..its as frustrating as ever of course!
I think its been tough on DP this time round, although we felt positive about doing the meds and the timing ect we are just aware of how much our energies are devoted to ttc and how much denying ourselves we have to do.

Typically, our niece's christening is the day after our official test date and our second niece is due to be born in early june (along with one of my good friends babies-  who was in the 2ww with me at the beginning). My other friend is pregnant (first try) and will be announcing it any time in the next two weeks (12week scan).

Once again feels like so much is riding on this and now we are seriously out of cash. We will need to borrow if we are going to carry on ttc.

Am trying to be more positive. Really hope everyone else is having a better time of it.

Good luck to everyone in the 2ww!!
Hope Springs Eternal!

Pip   (loving the new symbol)


----------



## Veela

Sorry to hear yours really hurt, emnjo and pipgirl.  This was the first one that I've had that didn't hurt.  It surprised me when it hurt too.  You just assume that it's going to be a pain free thing but the last three times were horrible.  

I'm ten days into the 2ww now and I can't tell any difference from any of my other cycles.  Some  months I get really swollen and painful breasts (I did during the first IUI) and they are again this month, but as I say, that can be quite normal for me.  I haven't talked to my partner much about it this month but I'm going to be so disappointed if it hasn't worked this time.  

Anyway, good luck girls.


----------



## pipgirl

Hi there Veela,

Glad to see its not too long to wait now...im a bit behind you as im only on day 8.

Feeling horrible today, was a real struggle to get out of bed and drag myself into work, maybe because ive had a week off and am not used to it? Or maybe from crying so much last night. 
We went to the theatre to take our minds off ttc when a close friend called to tell me her good news..12 weeks pregnant.
Felt just awful and so depressed..not that im not happy for her but shes another who only had to try the once and bingo!

Is it wierd that the more people around me who are falling pregnant at the drop of a hat, the more i think it wont happen for us? I know thats irrational but it does make me feel so low and inadequate.

Im trying to be positive but to be honset its been a real stuggle this cycle.

Good luck to all on the 2ww..hope youre all feeling more positive than i am.

Love Pip.


----------



## Veela

Oh Pip, sorry to hear you've been upset.  I keep telling myself that there's no reason why it shouldn't happen, and there isn't, for either of us.  It's just one of those things, I suppose - some people drop lucky and it happens quickly and others it just takes a bit longer for.  It's horrible seeing babies around us everywhere though, isn't it?  I'm lucky, I suppose - I don't have any friends who are having babies and I can console myself with the fact that I already have an 11 year old daughter.  I know the feeling though - I tend to keep it to myself when I get those pangs seeing other people's babies.  Keep your chin up - we'll get there!


----------



## nickster

Good luck to all you lot on 2ww - *Pip*, *Emma*, *Veela * (anyone else?).   

Funny to think it was me that started this thread - just goes to show it *IS * possible. We conceived on our fourth attempt, and looking back I think we were extremely lucky at how few attempts we had to go through. Easy to say now - and it certainly didn't feel like it at the time, when every 2ww was an ordeal - but try to hold tightly onto those positive thoughts! 

Nickyx


----------



## x-shorty-x

Hi can i join you please? im new here.

Im 22 and a single gay mum. I have a 6 month old little boy called Caeden and im in my first month of TTC #2 by DI at home.

Im now in the 2ww - 8dpo and due to test 4th April!  

Simone 
xx


----------



## Veela

Good luck Shorty.


----------



## Veela

The good news is that I haven't started my period yet so if I don't come on tomorrow, my partner will buy a test and I'll do it tomorrow afternoon - exactly a fortnight after the IUI.  The bad news is that I still feel like my period is about to start - my boobs become extremely swollen in the week after ovulation then when they reduce back to normal, my period starts.  They have been reducing since Thursday.  I'm also getting 'period pains' so I wouldn't be surprised if I come on in the night.


----------



## nismat

Sorry that you're feeling so PMTish Veela. This last bit's the hardest, especially when it feels like all hope is disappearing out the door..... again

Hi to Simone - good luck for the rest of your 2ww. You've obviously got a good friend there to donate for Caeden and for #2. Brave woman to be ttc again already - I couldn't have faced it when Toby was only 6 months old, when I hadn't even begun to reclaim my "self"! Motherhood obviously suits you


----------



## Veela

Well I've made it to Monday!  Here's hoping I can make it to this afternoon.  

Negative:  boobs have decreased in size in last week; no other change to boobs despite the fact that when I was pregnant 12 years ago, sore boobs were the first sign I noticed  

Positive:  they're still slightly swollen; I've had no 'show' that I normally get before I come on or itching; it's now 2w since I ovulated and I've not made it this far in an IUI before  

Neutral:  have had 'period aches' very slightly since Thursday - seems an unusually long time for nothing to happen.


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## pipgirl

Hi Veela,

Hows it going?
Test day today! Hope you get what you want.

Im thinking of testing tomorrow as i am probably off work, it will make things easier!

Let us know how you get on.

Pip


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## Veela

Well my gf didn't get the test this afternoon as she was waiting for me to ring.  I could go and get one this evening or wait until tomorrow.  Gf thinks we should wait and I think she might be right because my boobs are a lot less swollen today.  I think I'll wait until after tea and see how I feel later on.  I can always nip down to Tesco if I can't stand to wait until the morning.  I just find it difficult to believe that it could have worked if my boobs have gone down.   Will give it a few hours.  Perhaps if there's no sign when I next go to the loo, I'll make the trip.


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## lucky2010

Veela, my boobs were very swollen in 2ww and went down before testing... don't lose hope and good luck!!! x x x x


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## Veela

Oh God - you're giving me hope again!


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## lucky2010

get to bloody tesco!!!!


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## Veela

Bloody hell!!!!!!     It only says I'm bloody pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

We sat and looked at it for five full minutes and it still says pregnant!  Can they be wrong?  Has it happened to anyone on here?  I've been back to Tesco's and bought another two to be on the safe side but I can't use them until I need another wee.

Can't bloody believe it!!!!!!


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## nismat

Pregnant - bloody fab!!!!!!!!  

And no, they can't be wrong on an unmedicated cycle


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## nickidee

Veela - that's bloomin' fantastic! If you are anything like me, you will continue testing for a number of days - I think I did about 6 or 7 - but a positive is a positive is a positive  
Fingers crossed for you today, Pip  
When do you test, Bumble?


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## nickster

Oh my goodness Veela - I can't believe it (though I suspect that's even truer for you!!!!). 
       

Have been waiting with baited breath and am overjoyed to hear it's a positive result!

Sending you and GF loads of congratulations and love...

Nickyx


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## Veela

Thanks everyone - it's starting to sink in now.  Did the third test this morning!  

Rooting for Pip, Bumble and Shorty now!


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## emnjo

Veela said:


> Thanks everyone - it's starting to sink in now. Did the third test this morning!
> 
> Rooting for Pip, Bumble and Shorty now!


WOOOO HOOO VEELA! So pleased for you.

LWC prices have gone up SOOO much, you will be sick when you find out how much.. SO its bloody fantastic timing for you aswell. Enjoy this time loads, you deserve every second of it.

Bumble/Emma XXXX


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## Veela

I was (loving the past tense!) at Manchester Fertility Services, not LWC but shuddering to think of what the cost would have been.  

Have telephoned the clinic and they are having me in for a scan on 28th April when apparently I'll be 7 and a half weeks.  And the scan's free!   'Bout the only thing that has been! lol.  I've already started to read the sections of books that I wouldn't let myself read before.  I honestly haven't let myself even imagine being pregnant, let alone think as far as a real live baby.  My daughter's going to be a sister!  She's going to be so pleased.  Not sure how many weeks we'll be able to hold off telling her and as soon as she knows, so will my parents and therefore, everyone will need to be told! 

Ooh, I think I'll say hello in one of those 'pregnant' threads that I haven't let myself look at!


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## ♥JJ1♥

Veela congratulations on your   wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy
L x


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## pem

Hey Veela, Congrats, just the kind of news I need at the moment!!!

So so so so Chuffed for you!!!

Emma!


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## mintyfaglady

Congratulations Veela!


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## lucky2010

huge congrats veela!!!!


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## Mable

Congrats - you deserve it. Really pleased for you!


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## magsandemma

Hi girlies

Veela   -   What fantastic news hun, BIG CONGRATS to you and your gf, I wish you both a healthy and hapy next 8mths, you so deserve it.

I dont post on here very often but do follow you girlies stories, GOOD LUCK to you girls still on the 2ww, am hoping that Veelas news is the start of many BFPs to come!!!!!!!!!!

Maggie
xx


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## pipgirl

Well done Veela!

Congratulations. 

BFN for us again. IUI is not our friend.
AF arrived this morning after negative test yesterday morning.
Trying not to be too down about it and getting on witht the last cycle of tx now.

Pip.


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## ♥JJ1♥

Pip so sorry to here that this is not your time again!  take care of yourselves
L x


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## mintyfaglady

Oh Pip. Gutted for you.


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## pipgirl

Hmmm..

Thanks.

Refuse to let it get us down. 
I think we will have to put our faith in ivf ..we have to do another med iui (clinics rules) but ive never heard of the 6th go working for anyone have you?

We are going to change donor if they will let us..see if that helps at all. 
HEalthy eating starts again from today. Had Chinese and 3/4s of a bottle of wine last night. Was nice, but felt dreadful this morning, really acidy and sick. ewww. Oh well no more imbibing for another month.
Im going to see if i can plan nice things to do for our last 2ww. It looks like we will be basting around the 16th april and testing about 1st of may if all goes to plan.

Will see you guys around.
Hope everybody has success this round.
Love to all.

buckle up..here we go again.

Pip


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## Veela

Oh Pip, I'm so disappointed for you.  We changed our donor this time, btw, so that might help.  Hope you're not feeling too bad.


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