# New to FF in need of support



## Rhib (Jun 6, 2006)

Hi everyone. I am 25 years old, married and I suffer with PCOS. We have been TTC for 4 years and today we saw a urologist who has told us that my husband has a low sperm count only 9 million which sounded good until the doctor said that the average male has 50 million! The doctor thinks it is a genetic cause.

We were told that ICSI is our best option but the waiting list is long 1 year for the initial appointment then 2-3 years before treatment commences, the thought of which seems unbearable.

We have thought about adoption but would really love to give birth to my own child.

Feeling really low so would appreciate any advice / support from people who know how it feels.

Sending lots of love to all the ladies out there feeling the pain of infertility and I wish you all the luck in the world on your journey to motherhood. 

Rhian
xx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

and Welcome to FF Rhian

I am so glad to have met you in chat today and that you've posted here as well 

I hope that with the support and friendship at Fertility Friends the wait for your tx will be easier.
can you get the inital appointment privatly then go on the waiting list 

Whatever you decide to do let us know how you get on
Wishing you loads of    & 

here is a link to the ICSI thread http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,31.0.html

and the PCOS one http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,13.0.html

and the male factors one http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/board,35.0.html

Hope these are helpful
~Dizzi~


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi Rhian
Just wanted to say hello and welcome to FF honey - you really have found the best site for support, advice and understanding!
So sorry to hear your news - 3 years seems a long time to wait doesn't it!  As Dizzy said, could you not get an initial consultation privately?  Might shorten the wait a bit?
Hope to see you posting on the boards again - you are definitely not alone honey!
Love
Tracy


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi Rhian and welcome to the site 

Like u i am 25 yrs old - although i have no problems myself my hubby has 100% abnormal sperm - his count was 32 million which is good - you your doctor said that the average count should be 50 million? I have looked on lots of sites and the average is actually about 20-30 million.

U are lucky in the sense that it sounds like u get a free go at ICSI? We do not because of where we live so are in the process of saving up!!

Have u and your hubby tried any alternative therapies? I have just started my hubby on zinc tablets to help the 

Good luck

Kate xx​


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## Rhib (Jun 6, 2006)

Thanks for the responses it is good to know that there is support for us ladies!

Kate, my doc said so much today!! He told me that with my husband having only 9 million sperm it must be a genetic cause and he said the average was 50 million which I though was high and I have since checked web sites and books and you are right 20-30 million is average but anything over 20 million is acceptable.

I have had my hubby on zinc and also L'cartine (I think that is how it is spelt! I bought it from Holland & Barrets) which is supposed to help but I asked the urologist who said that because hubby's problem is genetic it would not help him. But I have read lots of books and web sites where improvements have been made by taking zinc etc. Have you heard of a drug called Proxeed? That is supposed to be good.

I have been told that we get 3 attempts at icsi on nhs by my specialist but I have heard conflicting statements so am waiting till I get transfered to fertility centre. 

Thought you may like to know that there is a clinic in Spain that has a fantastic success rate and is a lot cheaper than UK. Also the fertility drugs bump up the cost so have a look on line to buy direct from the manufacturer.

Good luck I will keep my fingers crossed for you.


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hiya rhia - thats for the info - i have also thought about spain but wouldnt u have to stay out there for a while or not?

Kate xx


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## *Mel* (Mar 20, 2005)

Rhian-you have come to the right place for support. Me and my dp went to the hospital today and i have to have bloods done on cd2 & 21. My dp has slightly low count at 23 million(although he's quite pleased as that sounds like alot and you only need 1!) The doctor told him to take vit A,C,E with added zinc and selenium which are only good for us as it helps make healthy eggs.Hope this helps. Just know we are all here for you. Do you ovulate? And also have you thought about sharing your eggs? This may mean you can go private and get the treatment price reduced.Maybe worth looking into. Good luck with your journey and take care, Mel***


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## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Rhian

Welcome to FF!!

I'm sorry you got not brilliant news today, we also have male factor infertility so I do know how you feel!   My dh has a sperm count of 0.3 million!!   As one of the other posts says you only need 1 so you shouldn't give up hope of a natural conception whilst you're waiting!  Our Fertility Consultant told us 17% of couples waiting for ICSI have a natural conception whilst waiting so it's not impossible!  

Although the wait seems a long time you are lucky to get 3 gos on NHS we only get 1, why don't you find out which fertility consultant you're going to be referred to and then ring their secretary and see how long the wait is before you decide whether to go privately?!   Worth a try??  Our initial consultation was only about a 3 month wait on NHS..

Good luck whatever you decide to do Hun.. 

Amanda x


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## Rhib (Jun 6, 2006)

Kate,

I am not sure how long you have to stay in Spain for but there are a few ladies looking into it on here so why not look into it? It is worth a thought.

Good luck

Rhian


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

yeah i think i mite go and find out Rhian - thanks


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## Ella* (Mar 1, 2006)

Hi there,
9 million sounds loads even if it is 1/2 to 1/3 of the average good amount. As everyone else said, you only need one, just one! 
Good luck & keep at it!  

Ella


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## Bifster (Jun 7, 2006)

Dear Rhian

Welcome to FF ! 

I'm relatively new to the site too and am currently in my 2WW.  Just gone through my first cycle of ICSI and test is on Monday morning !!!!! eek. scary.

We have been TTC for 3.5 years and unfortunately because of where we live, can't get IVF on the NHS.  I have to say my GP wasn't very forthcoming with information (probably coz he didn't want to spend his precious budget) so I took matters into my own hands and contacted all the PCTs (Primary Care Trust)s in my area and surrounding counties to ask if they do IVF on the NHS.  Some did, some don't. Whatever the politicians say about couples being allowed at least 1 but up to 3 cycles on the NHS is tosh. In reality its still a post code lottery.

I spoke to my PCT and they didn't have the funding, so we've had to remortgage to get some money out of the house and go privately for ICSI. But they did tell me something interesting which you may want to try/keep up your sleeve.  It obviously depends totally on your GP etc etc but they did say I should ask my GP if he/she would write a 'begging letter' basically asking if I could be referred to care under a neighbouring PCT which does do IVF on the NHS.  My situation is I live right on the borders between two PCTs. Mine didn't offer it, but the neighbouring one did !!! arrrrgh. It didn't pan out for me as the answer was no anyway, but worth a try?? They can only say no can't they - nothing ventured, nothing lost.

I was warned about the long waiting lists for NHS treatment both preliminary to IVF treatment and IVF itself. I was referred (by me nagging the GP) to my local NHS hospital in early 2004 for a laparoscopy & hysteroscopy. That eventually happened in October 2004 some 8 months later. Like others on this site, I waited on average 3 months inbetween appts, then 10 mins in the office with the consultant for test results. Once they had exhausted everything they could test me for and also 3 months on clomid (which did nothing) they very polietly washed their hands, said me and DH were unexplained infertility and said that if we wanted to do IVF we needed to get the GP to write and ask to refer us. As I already knew that the PCT didn't offer fertility treatment on the NHS, our only option was to go private. 

Another tip though....if you do go private for treatment, ask your GP if he would part fund you by paying for some or all of your drugs? We tried this too, but my GP said he didn't have any money ! But my sister (also did ICSI) did manage to get her drugs funded when she went through all this a few years ago.  It saved her about a thousand pounds.

We're at the Woking Nuffield in Surrey and if it helps, here's roughly what it cost us to give you an idea of figures. Obviously this will differ from clinic to clinic and particularly where in the country you are. 

All in its been £5,500 for us. £3,850 for the ICSI procedure itself, about £1,000 for the drugs, and the rest is made up of HFEA fee (everyone has to pay that) and the odd £100 or so here and there for scans, semen samples being analysed, blood tests, etc.

Hope this has helped you my dear, and if you have any questions, just ask. The only last thing I would say about thinking of going abroad for this is yes you will have to stay out there for a while and during the second part of treatment particularly when you are on the stimulant drugs, you have to attend clinic pretty much every other day for internal scans to check that ovaries are not being overstimulated. So wouldn't the cheaper cost of the treatment itself be offset by accommodation costs etc for having to stay in the country, and air fare to get there in the first place ? 

Have blown you bubbles for all the success on your journey....

 

Bifster x


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## Rah (Jun 9, 2006)

Hi Rhian,

I have just joined ff and this is my first message. I too have pcos and one tube. We have been ttc for 5 years and just got bfn after first round of ivf. It is so hard to be patient waiting for treatment to start. We took over a year to get to our complete first round. Be nice to yourself. You are 25 and have time on your side (something I tell myself regularly). I think that finding this sight early on will be good for you, waiting can feel like nothing is happening. Don't put your life on hold. My husband and I just went on an amazing holiday before our cycle started again, frivolous but a very good move. Distraction is good for your situation.

Wish you both lots of luck

Sarah xxx


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