# Wait for implication counselling



## Sydney2000 (Mar 7, 2015)

I'm a single woman starting process of iui with donor sperm; privately funded. Had all tests. Now just waiting to have implication counselling session before can go back for review with consultant and referral to nurse. There seems to be a long wait for counselling; delaying the start if treatment. What are others experiences? How long have people had to wait? Was told by consultant I may be able to speed up the wait be paying for the counselling (normally free). However, have left 4 messages at counsellors over last 3 weeks and no one has rung me back, so haven't had chance to ask if I can speed process up by paying. Getting frustrated.


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

It's been a long time since I was waiting to start but Imdo remember there was no wait for counselling - I had an almost immediate appt with the clinic's counsellor. Where are you having treatment? Will they let you pay an external (approved) counsellor instead if they have such a long wait for their one?
Good luck, hope you are on your way soon   
x


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## notamuggle (Jan 15, 2013)

If didn't have to wait for counselling either but I was paying for it privately. It's rude that no one has returned your call! How long is the waiting list you're on?


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## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

Hi Sydney2000,

If you are paying for your treatment you are not obliged to stick with a clinic which doesn't meet your needs. 

I would widen your horizons and look elsewhere - many clinics and providers of donor sperm outside the UK have no mandatory requirement for counselling.

I had DE & had no wish for counselling, I think this is patronising and discriminatory as fertile people in heterosexual relationships aren't required to undergo any counselling prior to having children. 

Good luck with your journey,

B xxx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Why do you need counselling? Is that standard for donor recipients? I had mandatory counselling as an egg sharer but wasn't aware it was needed for other procedures too. Joining the DCN was useful too! Hope you don't have much longer to wait x


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## Sydney2000 (Mar 7, 2015)

Thanks for your comments. I'm having treatment in leeds as it's the nearest to me. The practicalities of switching and going to a clinic much further away when you working full time: so not really an option to move clinic. I'm paying for treatment but still on the general (including nhs) waiting list for counselling. Because no one returning my calls I don't know how long the wait is : I'm guessing 6-8 weeks or more. My consultant said if I paid for the "ordinarily free" counselling I could jump up the list but because no one returning my calls I can't ask this. I think everyone that goes to the clinic is offered and more or less hinted that have to attend at least one one session before continuing to the more practical side and consent to treatment. To be fair all the rest of tests and consultations to date have run smoothly and in timely fashion. I'll just have to keep in ringing them and hope they eventually ring me back, ASAP!


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

Hi Sydney
My partner and I had to have implications counselling prior to DE at our NHS clinic.the appointment came through quickly but it was a bout of a pain as she only works 10 til 4. It's a legal requirement for DE recipients in this country but I don't know if it is for donor sperm recipients. I found it quite useful as we talked about ways to tell the child and also about the donor conception network. You could contact them to find a counsellor if your clinic counsellor can't see you quickly enough. As it was we decided to go abroad but I feel happy we did it as it was good to talk I through with an expert. 
Good luck, 
Lisa


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

not sure if it is a legal requirement but it's certainly in the HFEA Code of Conduct: "The centre should have documented procedures to ensure that proper account is taken of the welfare of any child who may be born as a result of treatment services, and any other child who may be affected by the birth"

- in practise many clinics use a mandatory counselling session to 'tick the box' around welfare of the child. this is particularly common when treating single women...although I believe many clinics also require couples using donor sperm and/or eggs to have counselling 

it does seem ridiculous that you can't get through to them at all though - can the reception team at the clinic not help ensure you can speak to the right person to get an appointment - after you are paying for a service here...especially if you are actually paying for the counselling itself

good luck, hope you get this sorted soon
x


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## Sydney2000 (Mar 7, 2015)

finally managed to speak directly to one of the counsellors after I was given their mobile yesterday. If only I'd had this a few weeks ago.  I have a feeling my past messages to the general number/reception just weren't being passed on. Informed me the waiting list for nhs 8-11 weeks. Have decided to continue to fund privately and have an appointment for 30 March. So feel am moving forward again now, after feeling like I was at a standstill for a few weeks.


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## natclare (May 27, 2011)

Hi there - Good luck! I had counselling at the Lister which was mandatory for the clinic and really helpful for me. I had no wait at all.


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