# This may be a bit of an odd question - but it may not be.



## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

After many years of TTC and the IVF rollercoaster, I gave up on the idea of ever being pregnant and moved to surrogacy.

However, a mere 5 months later, I found out that I was (am) pregnant naturally.

In the hope that this pregnancy goes to term and results in a live birth, I have the hope that we can use our frozen embryos (of which there are two) to create a sibling.  I don't want the frosties that I have to go to waste and also, as I will be much older by that time, I feel that I will stand a better chance of success with them as they were created when I was 35.

I am a very open and honest person and strongly believe in being 100% honest with our children when it comes to how they were conceived.  My dilemma is this, if one is conceived naturally, and one is conceived through an FET, will one or other feel more or less wanted?

Has anyone with secondary infertility had any problem with this?

I realise this is a looooong way off being a problem, but it's just something I've been pondering over the last few weeks.


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## Bubblicious (Jul 8, 2010)

MandyPandy, this has not crossed my mind at all.  DS was the result of a natural pregnancy and DD was a result of ICSI. It makes no difference to me that DD cost me a huge amount of money and that we'd tried for her for a lot longer.  I'm not even sure if it would ever occur to them in the future to ask about the circumstances of their conception, I mean, I've never asked my parents how long they tried for me, whether I was planned etc.  I'm close to my parents, as are my siblings but I've never been curious.  If my children ask me, I'll be honest but they should never need to question who is loved most or who was wanted most because they are loved the same.

I hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy.


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## Sho Po (Oct 26, 2009)

MandyPandy, it's not quite the same but I have an older brother and sister who were conceived after many years of trying and finally using clomid whereas I was a natural "surprise". I have never once felt less loved or wanted by my parents and I couldn't have a better relationship with either of them (and my siblings)

Any children you have will know just how loved and wanted they are because of what you have been through and are prepared to go through to have them in your life.


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## MandyPandy (May 10, 2010)

Oh I'm not insinuating that one would be loved more or less than the other at all, but I know what sibling rivalry is like and I would never want one to say to the other that they were more or less wanted. It would break my heart to think they thought like that, but I know what I was like with my brother (and vice versa) and any chance to get one over on each other would be used.

...and Sho Po - that's exactly how I feel. Any child, regardless of conception methods, would be so dearly loved and wanted.


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## Sho Po (Oct 26, 2009)

I've had rivalry with my sister simply because she was the first born and all her acheivements came before mine and with my brother because it always seemed to me like he could do no wrong. If you ask them now they'd say the same thing but for different reasons. I don't think it would occur to any one of us to argue over how we became a part of our family. We are and that's it.

Oh my brother does sometimes refer to me as the "accident" or "mistake" but it is all said with love


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