# 2ww bad day



## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

I'm 10dpt following my first ICSI treatment and am due to test on 1st December. I've tested early a couple of times this week (couldn't stop myself) and when the result came as negative was able to tell myself that it was way to early to test and put it behind me and generally stay reasonably positive (although slightly insane) through the 2ww.

This morning I tested and got a negative and have been feeling very down all day feeling like if it isn't positive by now then it is unlikely to be. I've been tearful all day and have not seemed to be able to get myself to snap out of it.

I know it's my own stupid fault for testing but I really feel like it hasn't worked and am getting very worked up about how I am going to be able carry on normally, work etc, if it has failed. Also feeling (and I know after my first attempt this may sound totally daft) like it will never work and I will never be Mum  

I keep telling myself to stop being so negative and feeling sorry for myself but yet can't seem to hold in the tears either. 

I'm sorry for such a negative post - felt like I needed to get it off my chest.


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Shannon
I really feel for you, I too am at the same stage as you, I am testing the same day as you, I was tempted today too, but thank god I didnt give in, this is out 7th full go of IVF, and I have learnt that testing early is not good for me, OK people do get a positive on day 10, but the clinics do know what they are talking about, they would say day 10 if they thought it would be a true result then.
So please try and find your positivity again, and please please put away those pee sticks until Wednesday.

I am hoping and praying you get a   and you will know for sure it is a real result

Love Jo
x x x


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## Kelly1 (Dec 4, 2003)

Hi Shannon

I am also on 2ww and having a bad day!!    (prob not much help to you but thought we could have a good blub together!!)

I have been feeling very negative today, as it is now the stage where what is going to be is going be.  Early on in the wait, it was like nothing had yet been determined. 

It has been quite hard on hubby today as he is really trying to be positive and dosn't even want to hear talk of negative results.  My blubbering was really hard for him, and i actually apologised for bringing us both down....
I was due to have a couple of friends visiting today and the thought of socialising was horrible, however, now i have seen them both i actually feel much better.  I kind of just want to hibernate, and not come into the real world until everything is lovely!!

Sorry for moaning, but you are not alone hun.  On a positive note for you it is definitely very early to be testing and have heard of peopl getting negatives on day 10 and then go onto get positives.

We can all get through this together  
Loads of love
Kel
xxx


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## Mrs G (Aug 11, 2004)

Right! Come on you girls and embies!!!   
All these negative thought are not good for your embies! Where are your ORANGE Knickers  when you need them? 
I'm testing 1st December too, and although nervous and desperately tempted I've not yet given in to the  Why? Because our clinic said they are not accurate unless you're having Twins or more at this stage (12 dpt)!!  And if it's not twins, that will be a lot less hard work! So come on ! Chins up! It's not over til the fat (or in our case Thin!!) lady sings!
LOL Caroline xx


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## Nicola G (Sep 7, 2004)

I'm also testing on Wednesday and I know exactly how you feel Shannon    I really don't think that testing early helps though!  That's exactly why I have avoided doing so as I think it causes you more anxiety.

I have also found the last two weeks very hard as this is also my 1st ivf and I really didn't know what to expect   I still don't really  

I've got two things to be thankful for and I think the same counts for all of us FF buddies:

1. Thank god I found this website or I really wouldn't have a clue what was going on through this tx.  And that I have so many friends out there.

2. The worrying is never over until that little bubs is handed to you in the delivery room   and then the worrying really begins!  

Jac is right, its really not over yet unless you really want it to be - its a long journey but I refuse to believe that there's isn't a rainbow at the end of it.

Shannnon/Mrs G -    we are all due to test on the same day and I've got everything, that I can cross, crossed for all of us 

Nic G xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Thank you all for your responses I do feel better for getting it off my chest. 

Jo - I hope that this will be your lucky number 7 with a beautiful   result at the end of it. You are of course 100% right in saying that why would the clinics make us wait if after 10 days we could get a reliable result.

Jac - Your words have made a difference to how I am feeling, thank you - it isn't over till it's over and I truly hope one day I am sitting by the PC with a baby/babies in a moses basket telling someone feeling how I do today that their dream will happen too.

Kelly1 - Sounds like our day and the day of our dh's have been very similar. My dh has been so supportive throughout even when I told him to shove a cyclogest somewhere and see if he feels so positive then! What you say about hibernating is exactly how I feel although I'm sure it's the worst thing to do because then all you think about is your tx - I forget sometimes the world carries on turning while all this is happening! 

Woppa -  I giggled when I read your post you must have spent a fortune on the evil peesticks!  They are  !!!

MrsG -  That was a very welcome telling off! I have no orange knickers but I do have a big orange spot  

Nicola - Totally agree about this website it's fabulous with very amazing and supportive people.

You girls are all amazing, thank you so much I do feel a little better now so hopefully my eyelids will have chance to recover and return to their normal size! Lots of tests coming up I hope and pray for lots of positives   

I am determined to get to my rainbow, no matter how long the journey   Nicola - I love that saying and am adding it to my signature  

Here's to Wednesday     

Thank you all.


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## copper (Nov 23, 2004)

Hi Shannon,

Hope you're feeling better today.  I've just posted on the 2WW list - i think I'm having a bit of a day like you did yesterday.

I am due to test 1st Dec (lots of luck to you, Jo and Caroline for the same day!) and have resisted the temptation to test early.

This is my first cycle of IVF and feel that I will jinx the result if I test early - yes, madness has well and truly set in!  I've found myself being so superstitious - counting magpies etc!!

Sending out   to everyone!

Copper
x


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## NattKatt (Nov 2, 2004)

Speaking of being superstitious Copper - I've invested in a few orange things, including an orange baby t-shirt which I have dressed my stuffed monkey in.... now that's bizaare!   The monkey sleeps with me in bed as hubby works away from home  When I wake up, I see orange!

I notice everything around me that is orange now, and never used to! Such as, I have an orange mouse pad, bought orange roses, have orange on my socks (well, a few pairs of them!), an orange giraffe toy, my elmo doll has an orange nose, I have orange soap in the shower, my facial wash is orange liquid..... the list goes on..... now who's going mad??  

I was telling this to a friend of mine, who like me, is a psychiatric nurse... she said "GO FOR IT - whatever helps your mental state"..... and so far, orange is good!


    
    ​
Love & hugs to all!

I hope this made those of you having a bad day laugh a little!



~Natt~


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## quackers (Nov 10, 2004)

Hiya,
Me again (I've already posted on November 2ww thread).
Just wanted to talk to you about hCG tests.  I'm presuming the clinics are making you wait until after day10/12 because they are doing a urine test rather than a blood test?  Generally speaking, blood tests will show up positive around a 10 days after fertilisation.  Urine hCG tests, I'm talking about HPTs here, usually show a positive hCG above 50 IU/L.  A lot of them these days are sensitive down to 25IU/L.  However, at day 10/12 you're hCG could be between 25 and 5IU/L (< 5IU/L is a negative mostly).  So these tests could show up as very faint lines or you might not be able to say one way or the other whether a line is there or not.  You would have to wait a few more days for the hCG to increase enough to react with the stick to produce a definitive positive result.
Hope this clears up a few things.
Quackers


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## dotty (May 17, 2004)

Hiya Shannon,

Just popped over here to wish you good luck for tomorrow.
    

love
dotty xxx


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## copper (Nov 23, 2004)

Hi Natt, 

Yep, that bout of madness was definitely enough to cheer me up! 

Strangely enough I also have a cuddly monkey so maybe it's time I went out and brought him an orange T shirt!! 

Copper
x


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## Martha Moo (Jan 30, 2004)

Hiya Shannon

Just reading thru a few posts and saw urs

Just wanted to wish u lots of love and luck for ur test day tomorrow

    for a BFP

Keeping everything crossed for u

I hope that u get the result u so much wish for

Catch up soon
love and hugs
Emilyxx


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## clarey (Aug 26, 2004)

Hello everyone...I'm on stimms but just wanted to wish you all loads of luck and                                  

for tomorrow, your all really brave and I hope to get as far as you. Think postive, stay postive right up until the very last second.
big hugs to you all 
clare


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Hello everyone,

This is just a quick post to let you all know that we have received the results back from the Clinic and sadly we got a BFN.

We are obviously very disappointed and upset but we are also resolved to try again and stay as positive as we can because we are not yet ready to give up on our dream.

All of your support and good wishes have been so appreciated. I will catch up on personals later but in the meantime send everyone lots of positive vibes and best wishes.


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## NattKatt (Nov 2, 2004)

Hi girls

Guess it's my turn to have a bad day.  Am overjoyed that there's been a few BFP's over the boards, and am SO happy for the ladies........ but I am so scared for me!   Have just had a good cry in an attempt to release all my tension, and now have puffy eyes   I can't really put in to words how I'm feeling. Terrified that this tx won't work, optimistic about future times, scared that they never even put an embie in (my clinic doesn't use ultrasound at ET), feel silly for thinking silly.. all that jazz.



~Natt~


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## shel121 (Sep 24, 2003)

Natt,
Ditto on my your feelings. I feel the same too...
sxx


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## Kelly1 (Dec 4, 2003)

Hi Girls

Ditto for me too   
I am now really anxious and having same worries.  Don't think my clinic used ultrasound?? 

Love
Kel
xxx


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Come on girls, let's have some lovely positive thoughts   

It is not in the clinics best interests to not put embryos back in you! They want positive results for their success rates. Not all clinics use ultrasound but they all check that the embryos went back in and so I really don't think you should worry about this.

When you are telling yourself that the tx may not work say straight away afterwards the tx may work. When you thinking you will never get your dream straight away think that you will. We are all a bunch of very determined ladies, we have wonderful partners and the support of each other - with that sort of strength we can help each other through until one by one we all get our dreams fulfilled.

I'm keeping everything crossed for all of you for lovely BFP results.


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## Vero (Oct 27, 2004)

SHannon, you are an inspiration to us all!

I totally agree, and now am positive and looking forawrd to a bfp next week.

I am thinking of you all girls, and sending you strong positive messages


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Big up to Shannon for your very psoitive attitude since your BFN.
You are an inspiration girl. To all you who are on the 2WW
POSITIVE VIBES COME YOUR WAY
LOTS OF LOVE
JAN WELSHY AND STEVExxxxxxxxX


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## Kelly1 (Dec 4, 2003)

Shannon and Jan

Thanks loads girls for your positivity and inspiration  

Loads of love
Kel
xxx


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## shel121 (Sep 24, 2003)

Here here....


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## nicky30 (Sep 23, 2003)

Thanks Shannon -  what a lovely lady you are keeping our spirits up when you are coming to terms with your own result. Had a little cry when I read your post (but in a good way  as it made me feel better)

Come on ladies - we can do it              

Nicky x


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## NattKatt (Nov 2, 2004)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh......... positive thinking! 

~Natt~​


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## shel121 (Sep 24, 2003)

Finding it hurt to stay postive...cant see any signs at the moment. Just sore boobs which I get before AF.


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Shelley,

You are unlikely to see any signs simply because it is too early. The sore boobs are most likely the result of the cyclogest.

You need to read the thread on here about pregnancy symptoms. Here's the link : http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,1858.0.html

Come on girl you need to start thinking positive hard as it is, stop analysing for signs because it is too early and you are unlikely to get any just yet. Stay away from the evil peesticks and when you are thinking it hasn't worked think it might have worked. Everytime a negative thought comes into your head turn it round to a positive and keep saying the positive over and over till you believe it.

   

Thinking of all you girls in the 2ww - sending you all


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## Kelly1 (Dec 4, 2003)

Hi girls

Shannon-  You are a fab buddy and so full of encouragement,  thanks hun  .  It is really good to hear you sounding strong and positive, 2005 is going to be full of excitment   

Natt-  I liked your post full of positive vibes, it really made me smile  

Shelley-  I am also due to test tomorrow and think we should really take Shannon's advice and not read anything into symptoms or lack of them.  I also just have sore boobs, and am constantly checking them and shoving them in hubby's face 'do they look bigger to you' hubby is LOVING it      We have done well to survive this 2ww madness.  Lots of positve thoughts for us all                                  

Loads of love
Kel
xxx


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## shel121 (Sep 24, 2003)

Shannon,
Thank you for your kind words. How are you keeping us all postive? You are so kind to be giving us all support through a time which must also be hard for you. Think you deserve a medal.  
sxxx


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## shel121 (Sep 24, 2003)

Kelly,
I have taken it one step further and am waving my knickers asking him to see if anything there. He isnt impressed...  
sxxx

ps...good luck


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Kelly - I've just been laughing my head off about you shoving your boobs in dh's face!    At this rate he will insist you stay on the cyclogest forever so you get to keep your new Pamela Anderson style assets!!! Shame about the constipation and wind that accompanies!  

Shelley - As for waving your knickers at dh, in this weather I think it would be wise to keep a pair on! But I hope they are your best bright orange pair! HAHA! 

It's lovely to hear you all sounding so positive, Kelly and Shelley I have everything crossed for you both tomorrow praying for two lovely BFPs. Actually I have everything crossed for everyone currently in the 2ww.


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## Vero (Oct 27, 2004)

Shelley & Kelly loads of good luck for tomorrow, I am and will be thinking of you and I know exactly how you are feeling now.  Be positive and may all your dreams come true.

  

Vero


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## nicky30 (Sep 23, 2003)

Good luck girls for tomorrow and well done for retaining your sanity up til this point.

       

Nicky xx


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Kelly & Shelley - Sending you all my good luck wishes for tomorrow and I am sending you lots of     . Hoping you both get the BFP's you so want and so deserve.

Sending much love and all my very best wishes to all the girls in the 2ww. You know where I am if you need me girls.


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## Kelly1 (Dec 4, 2003)

Hi girls

Wanted to let you know that we have tested and got a  , my feelings are all over the place at the moment, but i am definitely going to enjoy today!! So much so that will go and get our crimbo tree, something i haven't been able to think about whilst waiting.

I will then try and take each day as it comes and try not to worry TOO much   

I wanted to thank you all soooooooooooo much for your support, especially Shannon, who has pretty much gotten me through the last couple of days with some degree of positivity!!  

For those of you waiting, i have had very few symptoms and convinced that would be negative.  Our first test was actually negative yesterday, and me and hubby had a big cuddle and big cry, however, i snook upstairs to take a peek within 10 minutes and there was a feint line.  I tested again this morning, and it showed a positive.

Hang on in there girlies.
Loads of love
Kel
xxx


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## dizzy7 (Nov 22, 2004)

hi Kelly, congrats on your  !!!!! i bet you are over the moon!!!! and you were so good not testing early!! unlike me hey!!!!   

i went to the clinic yest, and they confirmed my  !!! with blood test, and said it was a really good result of 518 they said that this wouldn't mean much to me, but was a very good result! do you know anythingabout blood test results, they say it needs to have doubled on Monday when i have another blood test, i asked her if I'm defo preg, and she says oh yes you defo preg!!!!?

got my DH also to get my Xmas tree out of the loft, and like you and going to spend doing that today, as feeling very happy!!!!!!

well done again, thanks for the support you gave me!!!!

lots of luv dizzy xxxxx


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## Mookie (Aug 21, 2004)

Kelly,

FABULOUS NEWS!!!! I am over the moon for you and dh!!!   Congratulations!!!! I'm glad to have been able to help you through your 2ww in some small way - I am looking forward to the updates on scans, numbers etc.

Enjoy yourself today with those crimbo decorations but remember no heavy lifting!! Wishing you a very happy and healthy nine months and beyond


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## Nicola K (Oct 20, 2004)

Hi to you all just wanted to say wel done to all you BFP.  You must be thrilled.  Fingers crossed all progresses well for you all.

Sorry for the BFN, I know it feels, crushes you.  Lots of TLC is what you need and some time out for yourself, and it doesn't matter how long it takes you to get stronger stuff what other people think.  

I was out with my girlfriends for a meal last night and I came home fuming, one of them said (I haven't tested yet due next sat)  well if it doesn't work you have to accept it and move on -yeh right so easy for people to tell you what you should be doing without feeling any of the emotion inside eh?  They have no idea of the emotional turmoil we have to go through.  I think  next time if it doesn't work (already planned my next go for Feb 05) then I think we wont tell anyone at all, I learn more and more each time to the ignornance and insensitivity of people - it seems to get worse too with each try we have!  Either that or I'm getting more sensitive!

My tummy pains have settled now, my boob pain has more or less gone.  SO cant gauge anything whether its working or now.  When I got pregnant naturally (I had EPs)  the first thing I noticed was my boobs were sore, so with IVF as you find out so early it hasn't flooded my body with HCG as you do in a natural, so I always convince myself it hasn;t worked as I dont feel anything - does everyone feel like that?  Or have you noticed differences.  Yesterday tho at Acupuncture I felt rather nauseous tho not sure whether I'm getting paranoid now!!  and imagining it!

Anyway Hope everyone is ok.  I'm back to work on Monday as I'm dreading it as I know I'm not going to be able to concentrate at all, also have to deal with the nosy peope who dont know why i've been off!!  I feel like asking them "why do you want to know"!

We're off the cinema tonight to take son to see Incredibles - by the way you dont need kids to see these films, theyre so funny for adults too.  I love them and I always buy the dvds as theyre such easy watching and feel good factors.

Take care. Nx


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