# Meeting birth mother



## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Hi everyone

We've been asked to consider meeting birth Mum, which we feel is a positive thing to do - absolutely petrified and nervous but I'm sure she will feel just as bad if not worse.

Other than the usual, how did you choose the name etc, does anyone have any good questions? Any help appreciated x


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Good luck Nicola. Totally understand how you feel. We did it and pleased we did. 
We asked questions about pregnancy and the birth; who was there at birth; who visited; how she felt when saw child; cravings; what her hopes were for child's future; in talking about LO's likes/dislikes this led to finding out a little bit about her likes/ dislikes although we didn't ask this question directly. Trying to remember......
If you can get a picture of you with her. 
We also gave her a settling in letter which I wrote in a card and put a picture inside. I picked a nice picture but not one of our favourites but now really wish I had picked the best picture we had as she was so excited to see it and it will be the last picture she sees. 
It was very surreal experience and came out with very mixed emotions but such a good thing to if you have opportunity. 
Xxx


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Thanks Lorella - I will add those on my list.
I will ask about getting a photo too, seems quite a common thing to happen in these meetings so I hope we have that opportunity for LO's sake 👍

X


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We also got a photo which was awkward but equally so glad we did. It's in little pink's life story book now. We asked very similar questions to those Lorella has put and asked if there was anything either of them (we met BM and BD together) wanted us to tell little pink as she grew up. BM was quite chatty and told us a few things as the meeting went on, like her hopes for little pink, about her dog and a few other bits. We were told before to have some photos ready to show on our phone but no hard copies so she couldn't ask to keep them (she's not reliable enough not to use inappropriately). But instead we included a drawing and handprint. Good luck, it's surreal but you'll be so glad you've done it and it wasn't as bad as we had expected it to be

Lolly xxx


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## MrsYG (Oct 30, 2007)

HI, it was almost 3 year sago now, but we met BM.  I was dreading it, and it was a little awkward, but I'm so glad we did it.

We asked about any family illnesses, special talents that family members have like swimming or artist flair.  We talked about how well LO had settled in, but without bragging about it IFKWIM. 
We had a photo all together at the start before BM started crying, her request, as she had done this twice previously.
I felt it was a good opportunity to reassure her that he was safe with us.  Good Luck.


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Thanks everyone, that's really helpful x


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