# Would you tell a new employer about IVF?



## JasmineX (Dec 5, 2009)

Hi everyone

I'm looking for some advice. I've recently been trying to find ways of reducing stress in my life as I am sure this is not helping on this TTC journey. I'm now just passing the 3yr mark of TTC with one IVF and BFN behind me.

I'm in talks with my company to see if I can cut down hours/stress - they know about my treatment and are being flexible, but the job is very stressful and there isn't much they can do to change that.

I've been offered an interview somewhere else, and now I face the dilemma of explaining why I am looking to move job. I know it would be crazy to tell someone at interview that I will need to take time off now and again for tx, but I don't want to lie or end up in a job which won't be flexible!

Have any of you been through this? Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks

 

Jasmine
X


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Jasmine hi


I have wandered about this myself.  Don't forget that when you feel out a job application form there is a section that says "are you receiving any on going treatment?" so that would be something else to consider.  


Personally i think that if you are able to use your holiday for your tx then it should not be too much of a big deal for new employers but i guess if your in a high position and the new company are investing a lot of time and money into you they may not be happy to know that you want to leave to have a baby.  But saying that i guess that is the same as employing any lady.  I think its a hard one to answer.


I have demoted myself from dep manager to a support worked and i have also just reduced my hours down to 30 hours from 37.5 hours with sleep ins on top.  I have found that life in general has been a lot easier and the the whole tx is more bearable since i have demoted myself.  Good luck with what ever you decide. xx


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## JasmineX (Dec 5, 2009)

Hi Coweyes (recognize you from another thread   )

Thanks for the reply - its such a tricky one. I didn't know they had that on application forms! 

Its a company I've worked for in the past, so they know me and I think would be happy to have me back - so it wouldn't take a lot of investment on their side for me to get back into things. I only left as I wanted a change because I had been there so long, but now I crave a simple job!

So I guess I'm in a stronger position than applying to a completely new company.

I will post to let people know how I get on, and well done on "demoting" yourself - I think its definitely the way to go.

 

Jasmine
X


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

jasmine


I recognised you as well.  Good luck its a tricky one. xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## joannajoanna (Sep 9, 2009)

I was in this position - and no, I didn't tell them. Nor did I put it down on the medical questionnaire for either past treatment or intended. I took the view that male fertility issues wouldn't be expected to be disclosed, nor would I put it down if I was trying to conceive normally. In addition, the probability of going off on maternity leave was still quite low, given how long we'd been trying (and had changed job twice in that time anyway). I had to do a bit of sneaking about for appointments, but I was lucky in that my job involved quite a lot of external meetings, so I was able to hide things fairly easily. 


This may not be right for you, and it may be easier if you already know them. In an ideal world, of course we would be able to be open about things. 


In the end I did get pg, and my immediate boss was very supportive. But I'm not confident it wouldn't have been used against me in some way had I put it down or raised it at interview. 


Good luck with whatever decision you make.


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## GIAToo (Nov 8, 2009)

Hi Jasmine,

I wouldn't tell personally.  There is no legal protection against someone trying to conceive and going through IVF and I wouldn't want to give any employer any ammunition.  As for pre-employment questionnaires, from 1 October 2010, employers are not allowed to ask medical questions unless it is directly related to your ability to do the job (e.g. back problems if you are applying for a job in a warehouse).

I have worked in HR for 20 years in multiple companies and I have become less and less trusting of organisations I'm afraid.

So just my two-pennies worth!   

Take care and good luck!

GIA Tooxxx


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## JasmineX (Dec 5, 2009)

Hi Ladies

Thanks for the replies.

Well I had the interview and the first thing they asked was why I didn't go and work for them 3 years ago when they made me an offer. The real reason was that DH and I started TTC and decided it wouldn't be a good idea to change job. So I was hardly going to open the interview with that one! I  made some other excuse and never mentioned the tx.

Yes, I think it is best not to say anything unless it becomes critical. Hopefully I would get a tx in before starting at the new place anyway, IF they offer me a job and IF I accept.  Then IF the tx is unsuccessful I can think about what to do re new employer.

Another FF friend told me that non IF women would never tell an employer they are trying to conceive, so why should we have to? God, tx is stressful enough as it is...

 

Jasmine
XXX


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Jasmine

Well done for making your mind up.  Good luck with getting the job. xx


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