# 2nd Cycle Collywobbles



## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Hey there Ladies, 

Feeling the strain of being closer to our second cycle. Our last cycle failed at the end of April and now we are almost ready to roack and re-load again come immune results mid July. I'm petrified, since the BFN there must have been three pregnancy announcements via 'real world' pals who weren't trying... and here we are years into ttc and still no closer to a chubby, nappy filling cherub of our own. 

To top it off  in the last 5 weeks we've also both (hubby and me) lost a close family member each and the strain of the 'what ifs' along with pill induced mood swings and terror at the though cycle two might fail too is scarier than me without makeup (which is saying something). We so desperatley want the lack of sleep, constant crying and lack of social life that our pals all whinge and moan about. 
If another friends whinges about their morning sickness or ovulation pains I may have to elbow drop them (in my head only   ) 

This will be our last try for at least two years probably more as paying this cycle back alone will take a minimum of 12 -18 months if not a little longer .... 

The weird thing is for all my desire and gusto, I'm searching for any excuse to delay by a few weeks here.. and there, beacuse I know one more crappy failed cycle, and negative pee stick might finish me off emotionally and untill we start we cant fail. 

My three little lost embies may ahve been just the start of something, a journey that eads us to our ''happier place' but they may be the closest we ever get, how do you process that and just let it go for good ?

Answers on a postcard
xxxxxx


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## wombat13 (Apr 5, 2012)

Hi Bubble!
So sorry to hear you and DH have been through such a rotten time lately, that is really rough on you both, especially with everything else (which, quite frankly, is enough to cope with!)  
Afraid I don't have any startling pearls of wisdom, on a postcard or otherwise, about how to deal with things, except to say that the time to be negative is not now, get that sunny, positive spirit back and go for it girl, and I will be wishing you all the love and luck in the world xxx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Cheers Wombat,

Considering the little I know about the mammoth pile of stress you've had to deal with after cycle one you positivity is a good kick up my bottom!!  
Hope all news coming your way is full of happiness and relief xxxx


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## jojo30 (Dec 19, 2011)

I've just had a failed ICSI cycle, my first one too. Got follow up appt on 12th july. I want to start again straightaway but I'm canny nervous and apprehensive about it. I know I'll do it again, got 2 more goes on NHS so why not? 
I don't deal particularly well with failing so this next one has to work! 

Jo x


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

JoJo - Bless you hun   Tis not easy. BUT fabulous that you're in one of the lucky PCT areas wish we were (maybe we should move hahaha   ) Time will fly to the 12th, I was VERY lucky and got my follow up only 3 days after BFN but know how lucky that was, it deffinatey helped me get some closure on the whys xxxxxxx Sending lots of   your way and hope in the mean time with lots of tlc it gets a little easier each day for you xxx


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## stelpo (Jan 3, 2012)

Could have written these posts myself!!

We had a failed ICSI cycle in March and are about to go again for the last time - drugs were delivered today which has made it very real! I was SO positive last time, but I just can't get any enthusiasm up at all for this go. I think I'm deep down expecting another BFN, but this this time, thats it, over. And that scares me witless. This has been such a long journey, nearly 20 years, 2 partners - you can see it all below - but I've always had that little ray of hope that it might just work one of these days. Originally I was "unexplained" with ex-dh, high SA, now we have severe MF with DP so ICSI is the only way now. Aaargh, guess I just have to deal with it whatever way it goes...

Thank you for reading my collywobble  

S x


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Sending   &   for you sweetie 
Let us know how you go xxx


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## Robinson84 (Dec 1, 2011)

Bubble- Im so very sorry for your bfn and the tough time you've been having . We cycled on the April thread. I've just had my 2nd bfn and am considering changing clinics to have immunes done a Care Sheffield as our clinic only do big standard tx. Good luck for next cycle hun 

Good luck to you other ladies and I really hope you all get your bfps

xxx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Hello Robinson - Im so sorry to hear about your second BFN  You are such a lovely lady I remeber you well from the thread  
For what it's worth I CANNOT praise Care enough! I'm at their Nottingham clinic, I love them, my clinic to me are angels I truely hope third tme is the charm for you  

Big Huggles 
xxxxxx


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## Robinson84 (Dec 1, 2011)

Bubbles- thanks hun. Im   the next one is your turn. I've heard lots of good things about care so I feel its the way forward for us  Keep in touch. Will be lovely to hear how your doing. What immunes did you have done?

xxxx


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## staceyemma (Jul 30, 2011)

So heres where all the madness is!    

Hey Bubble and Robinson   and to the other ladies  

Ladies we will  be strong we will face our demons head on together and get our much deserved BFP!!!!

xxx Sending you all big cuddles!!!!


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Stacey - You know its true!   we are the ladies who it WILL happen for 

Robinson - I had level 1's (i think a few ladies manage to get GP to do most of them) but I no longer trust GPs when it comes to my lady area they were so useless for yours I knew I wouldnt trust their interpretation/results so opted for the clinic route, PRICEY but hopefully worth it for not for answers then at least peace of mind, there are 3 main levels under Care, Level 1, Level 2 - Chicago Tests, and 3 - Array (testing on embryos themselves) Lvel one covers alot of the main common causes. 

I think despite my colleywobbles I'm actually ready now, especially with my favourite ladies behind me


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## Robinson84 (Dec 1, 2011)

Staceyemma-  yes here we are. Hear hear hun. We most certainely will 

Bubble- I agree def would have them done through clinic. Yes they are pricey but worth it. I think we'll just go for level 1s if we need to. I had hidden c test done through serum and that has come back positive last week so im hoping that has been the issue. It does mean of course i'll need further meds such as steroids during tx but our current clinic dont believe in this so thats why were moving. You'll do great hun . Dont think i'll be cycling again until sept as want to get tests done and need to meet new clinic

Sending lots of        and     

xxx


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## ElsW73 (Apr 13, 2012)

Bubble (and all the other ladies) - wishing you all luck
Bubble - I know exactly where you are coming from - my DH has lost both grandparents, first grandad in time between cycle 1 and Then grandma during cycle 2. Having been together 8 years I'd never seen him cry and then this year he's been on such an emotional roller coaster. However we feel that our 2nd time lucky twins are coming at just the right time to fill the gap left in his family - fate, karma, gods will or plain lucky - who knows? However finding some calm and peace amongst the stress and strain will hopefully bring you the luck you need
All the best
Els


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