# First IUI feeling really emotional



## Charliemum2b (Jan 3, 2009)

Hi all,
Today is my 4th day of injections for my first round of SO/IUI at Exeter (NHS). I'm sitting here alone (hubby is at work) feeling really sorry for myself. I'm not sure if its the drugs affecting me - Bureselin and puregon- or if its a general state of mind. I just never thought we would be one of those couples desperate to have children and unable to   Im swinging from feeling teary to really snappy and my DH is bearing the brunt. My day 9 scan is on wed but im already expecting the worst, wither ive over-stimulated or under-stimulated or they find cysts...If i sleep now will someone wake me up wed morning please ?? It doesnt help that i have to sit opposite a woman at work that is very anti-child and keeps questioning me why im putting myself through the agony   To top everything i need to lose weight but im turning to food for comfort more and more. Someone call the donut police!!  
Any advice would be appreciated. I am having my 3rd accupuncture session on wed which is hopefully helping but im one fed up grumpy ted xx


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## JaneyPie (Oct 25, 2007)

Hi 

I haven't got any words of wisdom, just wanted to send you   .

I'm on the same drugs as you, and did my first injection last night. Went okay and for me I feel loads better after a really teary couple of weeks on the buserelin alone. It seems such a long time, doesn't it, having to take all the drugs, but it will be worth it in the end when we get our BFPs.

Ignore the woman at work and I wouldn't tell her anymore about your treatment - if people aren't going to be helpful they should just shut up. 

   for the next few days. I wondered a week ago how I was going to get through last week cos I was so low, but I did, so you can do this. Our DHs do suffer, but then so do we, it's us that have to go through all the drug stuff, so try to give yourself a bit of a break and tell yourself it's the drugs - that's what I do anyway.

Lots of luck and love,

JaneyPie
xxxx


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## widdle (Jan 30, 2009)

Hi CharlieMum2b

I've just finished my first IUI so know how you feel. I think it all sinks in when you start treatment, and it is such an emotional rolercoaster... add some hormone iinjections on top of that and there's no wonder we end up feeling so up and down!

My only advice is to focus on the positives. You are starting treatment, so are finally making forward progress  - unlike the last few months where (if you're anything like me) you probably felt you were going  nowhere. Even if it doesn't work first time, the cumulative odds of pregnancy over a few attempts are pretty good. Really try to take one day at a time and don't think too far ahead, otherwise you'll worry about all the 'what-ifs'. Get lots of sleep, drink lots of water, eat healthily and take some walks in the fresh air. It will make you feel better...

My first cycle has ended with a nasty period. But I had told myself at the start that the first attempt is a bit of an experiment with drug doses, and is more likely not to work really. There are so many positive stories of people getting a positive on the 2nd or 3rd time... so keep your chin up. You are making progress and you WILL get there in the end.


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## ballerina (Jan 18, 2009)

Hi there,

I totally agree with the last post on here....again, no words of wisdom but some advice:

1. Tell the woman at work that the IUI didn't go ahead (make up the reason - cysts, too many follicles...anything) but get her off your case.  Run up is stressful, but 2ww can be really hard, so you don't need some insensitive busybody asking you how it's going.  And don't tell her anything ever again.

2. Get out in the fresh air - walk, jog, pound the streets - but feel sorry for yourself (which we all do) doing something positive rather than sitting inside - something about the fresh air makes life seem a bit more bearable at times - getting out the house does wonders for the mind.  But go with your emotions - if you need to bawl your eyes out then do, and then when you're feeling happier do something positive....walk, go shopping, paint your nails...anything to make yourself feel better.

3. If your husband works weekends then plan stuff for when he's at work - you need to try to take your mind off things a bit - anyone who's got to this stage is probably totally obsessed with it by now and sometimes you need to try to distract yourself otherwise it can become horribly all consuming.  And being on your own just makes you feel even more vulnerable.

4. If this one doesn't work, (and fingers crossed it will) - but if not, maybe take a few months off and try to shift a few pounds before trying again.  Not saying that will make any difference to treatment, but if you're feeling under pressure for two things (IUI and weight) then taking control of one of them might help you feel more positive.  One of the worst things about infertility is the total lack of control, so by trying to take control of one aspect might help.  And I swear exercise can have such a good effect - set yourself a goal - 3 mile walk, 3 mile run, join a gym - depends on fitness I suppose, but by achieving something good there you'll feel a BIT happier!

And definitely take one day at a time - I'm sure we've all had those very deep moments of total despair, but trying to take one day at a time and seeing the positives is the best way.

I had my first unsuccessful IUI result on Thursday last week and spent hours sobbing....but then suddenly had this 'epiphany' - chances were it wouldn't work, that most people seem to get success on attempt 2 or 3 and that this is the start of things only - first treatment is total trial and error and next time round we all know more about what's going on so might get more luck.  Have made myself have a busy weekend and am feeling surprisingly ok now about it (thanks also to some lovely comments from my miserable posting on Thursday - see IUI - is it worth it?).

So am now waffling and writing far too much, but you just seem so horribly unhappy that I wanted to try to write some good things!  

I'm off to have a big glass of wine now...probably the only good thing about unsuccessful IUI!

All the very best for next week and think good thoughts if you can.
xx


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## widdle (Jan 30, 2009)

Hello again,

Great tips Ballerina and I'm so glad you're feeling more positive again. I think you're so right about the lack of control feeling. Taking control of other parts of life (work, health, diet, house) makes you feel stronger I think, rather than letting the feeling of helplessness associated with trying to conceive take over. And this helps to shift the bad days quicker.

Hope you're feeling a bit better over the next few days CharlieMum2b
xx


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