# Not sure what to do next...



## Bright Eyes (Sep 28, 2007)

Hi folks. Well I am in a quandry as I had , in my head, come to the end of the road with using my own eggs and have been told that it is worth giving it another go. it was not what I thought I would be told.
Doc looked through my last tx in Nov and could not find a fault with it and thought that bearing in mind age.. it was perfect response. The only real factor is age or genetics as grade 1 on the outside does not mean grade 1 on the inside. He does not feel that we should jump into DE and recommends that we do another fresh cycle but let everything go to Blast. That way, we will know if continued growth is a problem. It has the high risk that we have no transfers but at least we'll know if that is the problem. We could also grow our frosties to blast or just have them put back. He suggests that we crack on with fresh and leave the frozen as it is wasting time bearing in miind I will be 42 next month.  Bur should I go to blast with the frosties and find out if they can go to blast without going though another cycle.He also suggested, that as well as all the drugs I took last time to aid implantation, that I take viagra to help blood to the pelvis!!! It does not have the same effect on women as men I'm afraid!!  It shocked me a bit  as I was sure that he would say forget it.. use the frosties and then go for DE.. if we wanted to carry on. The list for DE is loog so we thought we'd have time to save too! The clinic are not starting Jan cycles as they are undergoing refurb in the labs and theatres so it would be a Feb start and early  March EC. So I get a bit of thinking time
I really don't know what to do. Deep down I feel that maybe we have reached end of road with own eggs as we ahve never had a hint of a BFP in 7 years of trying.. and that going to blast would also confirm that.. and that money could be used for DE cycle where the chances would start off higher. On the other hand, I have to consider it.... This game is so full of questions... 
Not expecting anyone to come up with the answers but at least you all konw where I am coming from!
Love Bright Eyes


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Oh Bright Eyes!
Dilemma 
I feel for you- its not any easy decision, I always say the same thing.....if money were no object...we would all go on trying for our own eggs........but we are not all millionaires....so when you have really tried and tried DE is a really high success rate option.....
I looked at your history..and to be honest... I think I would go to DE abroad next.
I wouldnt waste any more time and money on trying with my eggs.
Abroad, there are no waiting lists at many of the clinincs, and success rates are high. many clinincs abroad do the 3 cycles money back guarrantee(if you dont get a live birth after 3 cycles of DE treatment you get your money back)
Shady grove in the USA is popular, Spain is very popular, Czech republic is VERY popular, as is Ukraine and Greece.
In USA you can choose your donor by looking at photos or video, in Europe you can choose basic characteristics at some clinincs and not at others.
There is alot of evidence to prove now, about epigenetics, the facts that by implanting a donor egg in a host woman means the baby is imprinted on by the host mother--- so you have a direct effect on the outcome of how the baby looks even though the genetic material is not yours -its amazing but true!
In the Uk DE treatment is difficult because of the waiting lists, and you have to take whoevers eggs come along...at least you are matched with a donor overseas!
hope you feel ok with what ever you decide

Karen x


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Brighteyes ru at care in northampton?jus wondered as u said bout the renovation.the wait at care for de is bout 12 mths ifu cmv-less 4 cmv+.Would agree with karen.with oe ivf clinics say great results re amount of eggs etc but it not a great result unless it lead 2 a live birth in my opinion.karen with de u dont hav 2 take the 1st donor that comes along.u can reject and they do try 2 matchu.berniew


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## annacameron (Dec 16, 2008)

BE, I feel for you, I really do. I can seee what he is suggesting and why he is, BUt to give you my own experience:  2 times perfect blasts trasnferred and then 3 times perfect day 3s!  the only thing going to blast tells you is whether they can go to that stage. Supposedly perfect blasts can easily not implant I am sorry to say. the one thing you would learn is that if they all collapsed before day 5/6 -     that doesn't happen - you would learn that, on that batch, none was capable of going  further. it is a minefield. 

i think increasingly the best thing for older ladies is to ttc naturally with injectables so you have >1 eggs trying each time and therefore a better chance of "finding"  the good one!

very best of luck.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I have moved onto DE but every now and then I ask 'should I give it one more go with my own' I think it is natural, for me I ahve not had one Dr support me, other than ARGC who said only to freeze and not put back in myself but use a surrogate (easier said than done!) as I have lining problems
L x


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Dear Bright Eyes,

So sorry you're facing this dilemma   It's not easy trying to decide which way to go especially when a doctor says why not try again - easy for them to say!

If I were in your position (and I have been) I'd write a list of pros and cons for each option you've got - over a glass or 2 of wine (it helps   ) Just seeing things laid out in black and white gives you and your DH the chance/reason to discuss all your hopes/fears for each option. At the end of the day you have to consider how many times you think you can put yourself through thisand what matters most to you. If you really need a biological link you need to try again, if not you might find you're ready to move onto DE.

Good luck with whatever you decide sweetie. Lots of   and   for a successful outcome whatever route you take.

CG xxxx


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## JHB (Mar 30, 2006)

BrightEyes,

I am 40 and have had 5 ivf treatment.

The first two with my own eggs, not successful so decided to go for donor eggs, personal reasons. Had one donor egg cycle in spain negative. Had one fresh cycle at reprofit chemical pregnancy and one frostie negative.

Turned 40 last year and came to the top on the nhs waiting list which I have been on for years. Was not sure what this cycle would bring but was on maximum menupor and prendisolne steroid tablet. Had 3 embies tfr back did not have any eggs suitable for freezing, on the 1.12.08 got a positive and am currently 10 weeks pregnant. 

It is a very difficult decision, if I had frosties I would defrost them and go for blast first and see how they develop. Would you be happy with donor egg this is a question only you can answer. I never had a problem with donor eggs and I had booked to go back in August if my own eggs had failed from my nhs result. You do have to look at the money side of things, and personally I do think reprofit is czech republic is excellent having been treated there the clinic is fantastic and the staff are so helpful and friendly.

Good luck with whatever decision you decide to make.

Tracey


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## Bright Eyes (Sep 28, 2007)

Just thought that I would update those of you that took the time to answer me.
We have bitten  the bullet and having one last try.  DH has poo-pooed DE again and also adoption so it's this or nothing unfortunately. For me it is the being a mother that matters.. not how I become one..  But for DH he is hooked on the biological thing and I can't get him past it.
I must say that I am not going into this with the   that I should be as deep down I feel we are setting up to fail again  and I can't get past that. We are going for blast so also have to be realistic about whether we can even get that far.
Docs are thowing everything that they can at me.. so wish me luck.  Due to start stimming this weekend and EC around 2/3 March?
Bright Eyes


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