# Sick of being around people day / week / month .... So need a rant!!!



## Look on the bright side

The title says it all really... do you ever just get those days / weeks / months or even years where you are just so sick of being around people?!

I work in a primary school and it's the end of term, so I realise that I am already stressed, but today I just feel like I've had enough of people. 
In the staff room at break time today, I was asked if I wanted to have children, and then was told "well I better start trying for them". To which I replied it's not that easy you know. Then I was given tips on how to put my husband in the mood so we could start trying when we get home!! Then I was given unwanted advice on how to approach my husband about it on a serious note, Then I was told "You really don't want children you know, you should live your life first, I wish I hadn't of had mine"!!!

On top of this, it's the staff's end of term party on Friday and even though I have paid to go, I've now decided against it. Now I've had comments such as "Your so boring, your only 27 and you've stopped drinking", "You really have no excuse for not getting drunk", "Just get drunk this one last time" (from someone who knows about my issues), and my favourite "If you don't come then we can't be friends". I mean seriously, as if I care about the last comment... I don't remember being 5 again and I don't class her as a friend anyway??!!!

There is also a 31 year old women that I work with who is a born complainer and always feels sorry for herself. Her life is so hard, she's always tired, she's always skint, nothing every goes right, she once scratched her hand and wouldn't do any work for the entire day... that kind of person. At the moment she is currently sorting out how to split a mortgage with her ex partner and has taken 6 weeks off to deal with the stress. After coming back she refuses to work, and had the cheek the say to me today "I'm not going to the party because I've had stressful things to deal with, the reason your not going is hardly a reason is it". (She knows about IVF). I literally could have smacked her then and there!!

So these are the things that have lead me to write a ranting topic on my dislike of being around others at the moment..

Please feel free to join in and share your reasons for hating being around others sometimes!!


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## jdm4tth3ws

I dont onow if i should reply or not as i have 3 kids, no, im not going to winge about my boys, dont worry. 
my pet hate is i told a friend about my recent mmc (41, donor embryo) and she said well that will be your age then. so i explained donor embryo, and she said well feel blessed and lucky you have 3 boys. think your body is telling you to stop. even my mum has said well at least youve got your boys. 
yes i know this and im grateful, believe me, but no-one i imagine says that to the women that dont even think about extending their families, who smoke, drink, smoke pot and keeps popping 1 out after another year in, year out. i know 1 person who does all of the above and is on number is 6 yrs. and i regurlary see her with rhe tandwm and the.bump with a *** in her hand. Grrrr! her partner recently gave up work as they can 'earn more' on the state, just popping thwm out. 
i hate shopping in town. bumps everywhere. i hate taking my kids to school (obviously i do every single day) as there are few too many younger women with their babiea and bumps, everwhere i look and it feels like theyre all laughing at me. 
i still havr diffuculty getting my head round i should be nearly 16 weekz and im not, but the real kick in the teeth is 7 early losses, 4 full term.pregnancies (1 cot death) and 1 recent mmc at 9 weeks has left my body looking pregnant. what a complete smack in the face. still cant fit.im prepregnant clothes, look in a mirror and feel slim again. i see the looks from others "is she pregnant" but they darent ask me and i not in the market for explaining. 
i hate ageing, immune issues and people right now. my body is somewhere in that list too!
sorry for the pity party, just wanted to let you know im there with you, even if a different scenerio, but the pain and the loathing, self and others feels exactly the same
big hugs to you honey  
jade xxx


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## jdm4tth3ws

* shes on number 5 in 6 yrs!!!
xxxxx


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## sophiekh

Yep, been that kinda of year for me!  
Last year diagnosed with abnormal cells in wombs, 4 operations, finally ready for IVF, hubby left, now divorced.
I wish I could erase the last year from my life. 
Getting unwanted advice, nosey people, the pity looks/ 
I cant stand people around people - sometmes they say things that make things much worse!


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## Look on the bright side

Hi Ladies, Thank you for the reply.

jdm4tth3ws - So sorry to hear about your recent mmc and your losses, I hope you are ok?! It's crazy that people think that it's ok to  judge  just because you have 3 boys - who are they to decided that 3 is enough?! People's unwanted opinions are so frustrating!! I hope that it all works out for you in the end and there is some good news along the way!
Sending a hug to you also  

sophiekh - So sorry to hear your news too! I know what you mean, they try and help and just make things 10 times worse with their stupid words! People really do suck sometimes!! I hope that you are ok. Sennding you hugs


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## jdm4tth3ws

Thank you Hopeful87, 
but there will be no good news for me :-/. have decided that this journey has come to an end. i just cant face any more losses and if the array of immune drugs couldnt change the outcome then i guess i have to agree my body IS saying enough is enough. my marriage is ticking along. we tend to push everything under the carpet that is painful and carry on regardless with normal day to day living. 
but i still hanker for the 'cant have' and peoples thoughtless insensitive comments or even looks dont help.
im halfheartedly taking vitamins and using opk's (but in the hope to avoid dtd at ovulation) but this is the first cycle after the mmc and so far i havent started the eurgh bit yet. OPK' are stupid atm. 1 day low surge, next day smiley face, day after low surge. i am so confused and stressed out with it all. 
i have a school friend with a 9 month old girl who cones and talks to me every day. 24 hrs after mmc, she offered me surrogacy and the day after that her husband said no.  he then spent a whole wk waving at me, smiling at me and having a conversation with me, he has never spoken to me before this and after that week, stopped speaking to me again. now its smug smiles occasionally and quite honestly, i could smash his face in. 
i know it will get better ( ), it has to!!!!!
just try to remember, tomorrow is another day and everything will be ok, cos if it isnt ok, it isnt the end
xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Little Rie

OMG, I so could have written this! I have been feeling angry at the world recently! I am currently 6dp3dt, and I have an OTD of next Wednesday from our first ICSI cycle.

The world, and it's friends, are *severely *  ing me off recently. 
Work, self-centred 'friends', strangers, telly, food, the dog..... The list goes on!!

I was proper grumpy (but not mean) with a work colleague who is also a good friend today. She knows of our current journey. I sent her a ** msg apologising & she said "considering the circumstances, you were positively a ray of sunshine!" Hehehe, that cheered me up.

Still angry at the world though....

 to all xx


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## sophiekh

Im wedged inbetween two pregnant, one is lovely and doesnt say a peep about here pregnancy, the other one - well thats a different story!
I dont want to be that angry/upset lady all the time, i think I have come to the conclusion to stop chasing - my body has said no over the last 6 years.  Although after he left - ive had periods on time, every single month, my hormone levels have been the best they ever been....


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## Molly99

It feels like the last 5 years have been like this    I think that you get to a place where you just feel so sensitive and the world just feels like it carries on without you.  People just don't think and infertility is one of those awful things that many people take as a little dirty joke, it involves sex phnar phnar, queue lots of Carry On film style comments .... are you doing it right / enough / standing on your head / have you tried eating bananas because it worked for me....  

I had to go away for work this week with a lovely girl, she's so sweet but listening to her talking about needing to have children before she's 30 and becomes wwwaaaayyy too old    Or my DH say that it's all in the past & we have to move on, can't his children be enough for me    Or sitting through the obligatory 10 minute baby talk at the start of every team meeting, I really do not care how food affects breast feeding or care for comments about how lucky I am not to have to sit on a hot sports field to watch a child on sports day.  Just   it. 

I've become a virtual recluse over the years, I know I'll have to go out and face the big bad world at some point now that my journey has ended but I'm still building up my super human force field.

Sending you all lots of love and   xxx


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## Dramaqueen88

Molly- I hate when people offer their advice on getting pregnant... 'Have you timed it right'...'Out your legs above your head' blah blah. Blah! Don't you think after years of trying I haven't tried EVERYTHING


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## Molly99

Tee hee.  My Mum even asked me if we were having enough sex    It's so personal, I've got a whole possie of people wanting to give me advice on how to have sex, I mean come on!!

My ex best friend (sad story, rubbish friend who sent me a long list of why I was so lucky to not be able to have children when I found out that we were infertile) told me that the reason we weren't getting pregnant was because I wasn't relaxed ..... knowing full well that my DH hadn't had a vasectomy reversal at the time.  Quite what the link between me relaxing and him bypassing a medical sterilisation was for her I will never know


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## Dramaqueen88

seems like everyone becomes a fertility consultant when they hear of your struggles!!


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## sophiekh

Yes Relaxing the age old cure to infertility, its a shame the infertilty drs dont just prescribe 'that herbal drug' and that would have solved all our problems


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## Look on the bright side

Hey ladies, have just been reading all the comments, sorry to hear that you are all going through rough times with people as well!! Sometimes people amaze me with the things they say and the way they act!! I am still in "I hate the world" mode.. seems like whenever I get out of it, there is always someone or something to put me back in!

Hope you are all doing ok? xx


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## Molly99

Hi Hopeful and all of you other lovely ladies.

I'm so sorry that your still feeling this way too hopeful, I know exactly what you mean.  We were having our first full week long nice period since all this began without someone putting me back in that dark place.  We had the most perfect day yesterday, I was on such a wonderful high with it feeling almost as perfect as we can probably achieve, and then my step son just suddenly wanted to talk about when his mum was pregnant, DH choosing baby names etc etc.

It was like a dagger, a big cloud came back over and now I feel depressed again and we're back to rowing.

When does this ever go away


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## Look on the bright side

Hi Molly99, So sorry to hear that you are feeling sad also! It's such a shame that your nice day was overshadowed in the end. It's a shame we can't just stay in our own little bubbles where no-one can bother us! I hope you are feeling better today and that you and DH are ok now? xx


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## Molly99

That's it precisely hopeful, everything can feel ok as long as we're in our little bubble!

Thank you, we're sort of ok again, in that move on by pretending that it ever happened way.... right up until last night when a friend that I used to work with sent me a long e-mail about her new baby and lots of photos.  I knew that I shouldn't open it right before bed but I just couldn't stop myself.  

Sigh, I wish that I could be an ice queen! X

How are you feeling lovely?


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## gaia71

Just wanted to drop by and say, this is how I feel all the time at the moment. I feel lonely, but don't want to be around anyone. Obviously, I can't avoid people at work (and due to the flexibility of my job I'm not stuck in an office all day, so I can escape if any emotive conversations are on the go)... I struggle with people in general and especially those who are pregnant/with young children (which is a lot of people) and more recently I can't even be around friends or some family members. I literally want to hide away until I'm in a position to try IVF (DEIVF) which financially won't be for another 2 years when I'm debt free... can't take on any more debt as a singleton... Focussing on that. But, I'm finding it really difficult to remain upbeat and find things to do that keep me occupied and distracted outside work. Would love to find the magic solution to this. I feel like a bystander watching everybody else get on with having a life and being around other people is just too much of an effort when all they talk about is their inherited wealth, their families and when they plan to try for a baby aaahhhh!!!! Some more than others. But, quite frankly I can do without those people in my life. Clueless, tactless and boring...

Sorry to jump in and rant. Just wanted to empathise really. It's hard, really hard sometimes... I never thought I'd be in this situation   However, one day my/our ship will come in...  . In the meantime I'm going to get some counselling to deal with all of this.


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## Imhopeful

I can relate to some of your moments too. I have days i feel so angry with everything and everyone that i just want to be left alone.  In the beginning, our friends and family were constantly bringing up the subject and we had to deal with their stupid tips, questions and jokes.   one day we were so fed up and decided to break the silence. Now most of our family knows and they don't dare to say anything, but occasionally I still have some sad episodes, like a friend of mine who knows my situation, came up with something she saw in the web, tips and diets to get pregnant naturally...I mean..seriously!   My DH is a very socializing person and wants me to go out and socialize with our friends more...they all have kids and when we are invited for their family meals and parties, I feel left out and uncomfortable around them. I'm very happy for them, of course, but sometimes it's just so hard to cope... I just keep thinking "why me?"  

Big   for everyone!


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## Look on the bright side

Hey ladies,

Molly99 sorry to hear about your email! I hope you are ok and have enjoyed your weekend?  

Gaia71 you are not jumping in and ranting, that's what we are all here for   So sorry to hear you are feeling down also, I hope that you are ok and that counselling helps with everything? 

Imhopeful, sending a big hug your way as well. People are so bloody annoying sometimes, but I hope you are feeling better? 

 x


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## Imhopeful

Thanks Hopeful! It would be better for some people to keep their mouth  sometimes. it's not going to help anything. I can imagine the scenario at your workplace..everyone talking about their children, etc, suddenly the dreadfull question comes up, and when we tell them, they say "I wish i didn't have mine" or my favourite "if it doesn't happen maybe its not meant to be"..some people have everything for granted, and only who goes through this journey can understand how hard it can be. Even ice queen have their moments, trust me  and you have your right not wanting to be around certain people. How are you feeling? Not too long for your treatment to start hun!


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## Look on the bright side

Hey Imhopeful, that's so true, I hate when people say "I wish I didn't have mine". It's so rude and insensitive!! I'm feeling much better know thanks, how about you? I start D/R on tuesday so can't wait for that! How is your treatment coming along? I think i've seen you in the cycle buddies forum  xx


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## Imhopeful

I'm on day 3 taking norethisterone. Should start stims in a couple weeks. Still early days but nausea had kicked in. Felt very icky today struggling to keep breakfast in, thank god for those acupressure sea bands, they don't take nausea away completely but helped me a lot. You must be excited things will start to move very soon. Hope it works out for you!  

I'm on August/Sep cycle buddies


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## Look on the bright side

Oh no, I hope you feel better soon! There seem to be so many horrible side effects with all these fertility drugs.. as if we need anything else to make us feel bad   Glad that the sea bands are helping though!

Thank you, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for your treatment too.  

I'm also in the August/September cycle buddies, so hopefully we can both share our good news soon   xx


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## aliced

Hello,
I could have wrote a lot of these posts myself and I am sick of hearing 'just relax and it will happen when you least expect it' After 3.5 years I have had enough. 
Alice x


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