# Creative letterbox needed!



## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Help!

We habe been advised to use our names in correspondence.... And our letter due to go which has been written however not comfortable using my name...

Any ideas so less obvious....?!

Advised against adoptive parents or alternative names, so a wee bit stuck!

Thanks xx


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Could you just use your initial?


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Wow you're having to write letterbox quickly after placement...Were over a year from eldest and letter not due until next month..

We've been advised not to use names or initials but sign off 'adoptive parents' I've read a few ladies on here write them as newsletters so a sign off isn't even needed which I liked the sound of. 

Hope you find something appropriate x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

We just use our first names. BF lives pretty close to us and is a risk but we didn't see it gives anything away using our first names. Obviously this can't apply if you have an unusual name but otherwise I couldn't see what they would gain from it. I also felt to try and give them some comfort it was more "human" for them to at least know our first names rather than being a nameless nobody.


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

We have written a personable letter. I want them to know little one is happy and safe and doing well etc but also need to think about ours and his safety in the future.

We will be forever grateful that we get to parent this little boy and I it to be right for him....

Might look at newsletter format x


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

I felt the same as you initially FMN and wanted to use different names but because our names are not unusual we were advised against it. Now we've done it I don't really think it poses much risk. Our SW said it would be difficult going by different names further down the line with regards to having contact with half sibling eg. He would also need to know us by different name or would get complicated with letterbox for him etc. anyway I'm not sure I totally agreed but went with it. 

When we were considering using diff names I thought about using our middle names if this helps. If course you have to do what's right for you 😊 x


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Thanks lorella, we had considered this, but they said wasn't appropriate.  I get it, I do, but I feel there is a genuine risk, and once done, it's done.

Sure it will be ok x


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Our first names are unusual so we just wrote LO's Adoptive Parents and that was recommended.


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## Waiting_patiently (Dec 4, 2013)

At the end of the day these letters aren't legally bound agreements so if you genuinely feel its not in your best interests to use your real name then put your foot down, say your more than happy to do it and for the right reasons but that if they don't allow you to use an alternative sign off, i.e. adoptive parents like most do then your not doing it, its your right not theres!


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## Kaytie (May 7, 2005)

Just an idea could you sign as 'LO's name & family'

Be careful if your names are unusual or use unusual spelling. Our two first name combined with an and in the middle throw up results on Google showing the town we live in and for a very small fee you could get our address. I highlighted this to SW soon after our first match for our son but they had already used our first names in a report to BM. So we sign with our first names as she knows them anyway. Luckily it's a relinquished adoption (which is why they did the report so she could decide about us being linked with LO) and she has moved on with her life but I still worry she might try and find us one day.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

We just use our first letters.
We were advised not to use our full names and we have sent 3 letters now and no one has said anything.


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## clo76 (Oct 9, 2013)

Hi, we're due to write our letter and im wondering how to address the bm, dear, hello, hi and then her name? Any advice on that? Its such a little thing but theres so much emotion involved.


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

I will change names but we did...

Dear Sarah and paul,

With best wishes,

Bobs adoptive parents 

Hope that helps x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

We sign off with our first names.  If I was concerned about security, I'd use initials.    Good luck, FMN, it's not easy.


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Ours gone, happy to sign adoptive parents... Was the social that didn't like it!!

But all done, just waiting for our reply lol x


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