# Newbie from Scotland



## Starmaker73

Hi Guys

I have been lurking here for a while, but I finally plucked up the courage to join the gang.    I am not too far into the process but it's really interesting to read all your experiences.  I am a single adopter (the only singleton on my prep course), aged 40 and live in Scotland.  I have just had my follow up meeting with my LA after the prep course, so just waiting on them emailing me with a date to start my HS.

I'm still trying to learn all the abbreviations you use on here, so please bear with me.    I am really looking forward to getting the whole process started, as I contacted my LA way back in Jan and it took 6 months to get on a prep course. Patience is definitely a virtue, I am learning that very quickly.  

Looking forward to sharing my journey with you all, and sharing in yours.


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## crazyroychick

Hello starmaker and welcome x

My hubby and I are also in Scotland and just starting home study so hopefully we can share some experiences and help each other out x


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## Starmaker73

Hello Crazyroychick, and thank you.  What LA are you under (oh wait, is it ok to ask that?)  I'm under East Dunbartonshire.


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## crazyroychick

Of course, we are South Lanarkshire, it's all so slow isn't it? Xx


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## Starmaker73

Phew, glad it isn't just us then.  ED seem really understaffed, but I guess all LAs are the same.   Good luck with your HS.


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## crazyroychick

You too, got our 2nd visit Monday and house is a riot, got a new kitchen this wk and not quite finished :-( x


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## Starmaker73

Oh jeez, good luck with that.  I can nearly beat that, my LA workers turned up on my doorstep last week for a meeting that I didn't know about.  Yikes!  They forgot to email me.....just as well the house was clean!  But I looked a mess in my joggers and sweatshirt.  Oops.


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## crazyroychick

Lmao, going to need to tidy best i can tomorrow but washing machine and drier not going in until Monday and I am working til 4pm and she is coming at 4.30! Oh we'll hope she doesn't choose this as the day to see round our house x


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## Starmaker73

Uh-oh. It will be a 'take us as you find us' type visit then I assume. :-D  I'm sure they will understand as it's just a temporary measure and better doing it all now before it all steps up a gear.


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## crazyroychick

That's what we thought would never get round to it once we adopt, hope you get a date soon for starting, keep you posted on what sort of things they discuss with us each visit xx


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## Starmaker73

Oh thank you, that would be brilliant.  It's scary doing it on my own, having no-one to back me up if the questions get too hard. But it's all good, I'm raring to go.  Good luck for Monday.


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## crazyroychick

You'll be great and you will find lots of support on here xx


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## daisy0609

Hi guys I'm from Scotland too and I'm approved so if you have any questions then I might be able to answer them x


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## crazyroychick

Thanks Daisy, so you been matched yet? Xx


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## daisy0609

No still waiting could be a long one for us as we would like 0-2 so a small age group but it will be worth the wait x


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## AdoptionDreams

Hello ladies, can I joi? (Hi crazyroychick lol) - I am new in the process to and also in Scotland (Glasgow City). We attended information evening in May and we start prep a week on Fri. What can we expect from prep? Any advice welcome xx


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## Starmaker73

Hi Daisy.  Thanks for the welcome.  What area of Scotland are you from, if you don't mind me asking?  How long was the process for you from prep class to approved?  Hope you don't have to wait too long for a match, but as you said, it will be worth the wait. 

Hi AdoptionDreams, good luck with the prep classes.  I really enjoyed mine, but us adopters were lumped together with new foster carers, not sure if GCC will do it differently.  You'll make lots of new friends and make sure you all swap emails addresses so you can keep in touch for support.


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## oliver222

I am Scotland too. Going through Glasgow city council. We have finished HS and hopefully going to Panel in August. We went to info evening in Jan 2012. So been a long process.


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## Sparkle JJ

Hi All
I`m in Scotland too (south Lanarkshire). We've been approved and will meet our daughter in a couple of weeks   (excited much?). I don't claim to be an expert but I'm here if you have questions.

X


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## daisy0609

We started the process in jan 2012 and did our prep group at the end strange I know! We are in the borders so not a big council! X


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## Starmaker73

Oh this is great that there more people from Scotland on here than I first thought.  

Hi Sparkle, that's amazing news.  I'm so very happy for you, bet you are literally counting the days.

Hi Oliver, good luck at Panel.  Hope it all goes well for you.


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## Jess75

Another Scottish one here just finished home study and go to panel in September. Good luck to you all x


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## AdoptionDreams

Lots of us Scottish ladies  good luck to everyone x


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## Starmaker73

Yay! Good luck Jess.  Hope it all goes great for you.  Do you mind me asking when you started your journey?


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## Diane71

Hi everyone 

I have been lurking for a while as well. We r also from Glasgow not far from city centre so going through our la

We at very early stages our next step is attending our doctors for a medical, what stage do u find out that your accepted ? 

Did yuz all get a disclosure done ? My fiancé is 43 and got banned from driving for a year when he was 19 will this go against us ? 

Diane


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## Starmaker73

Hi Diane, I'm not as far along in the process as you, been at it 6 months already and not even started HS yet.  You'll find out if you are accepted at the Matching Panel at the end of your HS.  I still have my medicals, and disclosures in front of me.....such a long process. 

I don't know anything about what will go for or against you, but I imagine if you are up front about your fiance's driving ban from the start then it will probably make no difference, especially since it was so long ago.

Good luck with your journey.


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## Diane71

Hi 

Does anyone know how to add the info at the bottom of your messages ? 

Good luck star maker  did  have to pay for disclosure ? God it feel like we have so much to do before we r even accepted !!!

Where r u in Scotland


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## Starmaker73

Just go into 'edit profile' and you can add the pink sig in there.  As for disclosures, I haven't done any of that stuff yet.   

I'm East Dunbartonshire, where are you?

Yeah it's definitely a long process, and from the time scales on people's profiles it certainly seems to take longer in Scotland than in other places in the UK.   I started out on this road in Jan 2013 and my LA think I won't be going to panel til prob early 2014, and I'm a single adopter which is normally a quicker process as there are only one set of forms/interviews to complete.


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## Diane71

We r not far from the city of Glasgow 

Thank you I think I have put a sig on 

What age group r u hoping for ?


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## Starmaker73

I'm hoping for 2-5 year old, keeping the age group quite wide.  

So have you had your medicals before prep class?  It amazes me how all the LAs do things so differently.


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## AdoptionDreams

Hi everyone,

DH and I start prep group tomorrow. I'm so excited and scared rolled into one xx


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## Starmaker73

How exciting for you, Adoption Dreams.  They are long, exhausting days, but I'm sure you'll get so much out of them.  Just absorb, absorb, absorb.


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## Treaco

Hi Diane I tried to reply to ur message but it's saying ur inbox is full.xx


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## AdoptionDreams

DH and I completed our 1st day of prep last Friday. It was really enjoyable but oh my goodness how draining. I was in bed fast asleep by 9.30pm. We had 8 couples on our course, all seemed lovely. DH and I got talking to a few of them and also agreed to exchange numbers etc. Two couples are back to adopt for a 2nd time through the same authority - that's a good sign! In the morning we had the embarrassing ice breaking moment, we had to stand up, introduce ourselves and explain why we were given our name. It was very interesting listening to everyone. At the end of the exercise the SW explained the importance of our LO keeping their original name - it's their identity & their only link with BF.  We also looked at a case study which brought up great discussion. I seemed to do lots of the talking - I was aware of this and kept trying to keep quiet - it didn't last. I just don't want them thinking I'm over confident. The afternoon a doctor came and spoke through lots of medical issues / additional needs surrounding the children. It was so draining and heavy going. I know it's vital that we listen to it though. We are back next Friday for our final day of prep, I'm really looking forward to it. X


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## Treaco

Hi adoptiondreams it sounds like u were at the Glasgow prep course as that's exactly what we had to do. It is gd and very informative and we did enjoy them but as u say they r long days. We were at prep in January and just now we r still waiting on being allocated a sw, which we've been told will be August tos start all the home study stuff. Gd luck to everyone.xx


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## AdoptionDreams

Yea it is  my goodness that's quite a long wait for you isn't it? What's the reason behind such a long wait for being allocated a SW? X


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## Treaco

After prep another social worker has to come see u and after they've been out and spoke to u they send u the full application form to fill in. Our application form has been with them now since March but due to lack of social workers we won't be allocated till August and then hopefully it'll becquicker from then on. At prep we were told it wouldn't be that long but unfortunately it has been.xx


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## oliver222

I am Glasgow as well. I waited 8 months for sw allocation. I went to prep April 2012 and have finished homestudy, waiting on paperwork to be finished. Hoping for panel in August. Delay was just because they are busy.


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## AdoptionDreams

Thanx ladies. I asked about the amount of SW working for them and they advised that another five are due to start, just waiting on their disclosure checks. I think she said after prep on Friday we will be given the application form to formally adopt. What happens at the SW visit after prep? Sorry for all the questions xx


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## Treaco

When u finish prep u get given a form asking u if u still want to continue and if u do u send it back to them and only aft u get that do u get a social worker who comes out and asks questions again about what ur looking for, what u can offer etc, alot like the 1st visit they made to u and only if u get the ok again do u get the application forms sent out to u. It's all quite long winded.xx


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## AdoptionDreams

Ah ok I get it now I think that's what she said actually. I just wish we all had a fast forward button lol x


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## Starmaker73

I'm so happy that prep class is going well for you Adoption Dreams.  I've said this before, but I really wish that ours focused more on adoption than fostering. 

An 8 month wait for a SW is such a long set back, I had to wait 6 months to get on a prep course and am now waiting on my SW being allocated.  It's only been 5 weeks so far but I've getting impatient already.


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## petiteétoile

Also finally plucked up the courage to join in. 
Currently going through home study with DH. 

It's great to read about the experiences of others and reassuring that others share the same feelings and emotions as us. 

Starting to get really excited now that SW has started talking about dates for approval panel.


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## Starmaker73

Hi Petiteetoile, happy to have another newbie on board.  What part of Scotland are you in?  Good luck with the HS.


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## Starmaker73

Well I finally gave in to my impatient side and emailed my LA to find out if there was any more movement of a SW allocation.  She said she is off for annual leave now for two weeks so they will be having a group meeting when she gets back to sort it out.  Ugh!  So another two weeks of waiting.  At least now I know and can take my hand off the refresh button on my email account. 

I'm trying to live by the quote that someone posted here last week (sorry I don't remember who it was), that every day that passes is a day close to meeting a LO that you'll share your life with.


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## petiteétoile

Hi Starmaker73

In East Ayrshire.  I remember that feeling waiting for SW to be allocated, was just so keen to get things moving.

So far everything going well - I've found the HS a very positive experience. Paperwork out to references now - another step closer. 

I'm sure we were allocated just so that I would stop calling.  I was so impatient back then - now it seems like there is so much to do and think about. 

Hopefully when you do get allocated with SW they are as good as ours.


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## Starmaker73

That's great that it's been such a positive experience for you so far.  I've been told we only have 2 full time SW and 2 part time ones to carry out all the HSs so hopefully that won't hold us up too much.  I think you're right, once I get allocated a SW and the HS is underway it will all fly by.


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## Chipmunk

Hi ladies, We are just starting out with Glasgow city council. We attended info evening in June and are waiting to hear about prep course.....long road ahead!


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## crazyroychick

Welcome Chipmunk, it will fly by, we are 3 visits into HS already!

Just try to keep yourself occupied with other things and you will be on prep before you know it xx

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well xx


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## oliver222

Welcome chipmunk. I am with Glasgow city council. I am going to panel in September. If you have any questions give me a shout.


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## Chipmunk

Thanks crazyroychick, I hope you're right!  That's great oliver222, thanks. Best of luck at panel. Your timeline seems to have beeb very long! Must be great to be reaching the final hurdles. The SW said at the info evening they had appointed several new members of staff due to start around august so hopefully that might speed things up.
We have a 3 year old child - does anyone have any experience of how Glasgow view this?


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## Starmaker73

Hi Chipmunk.  Great to have another Scot on board.


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## oliver222

Hi Chipmunk,
Yeah good to be nearing the end. I had an eight month wait for a SW to be allocated for HS and then we have had a bit delay as panels busy. But we will get there in end.


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## Starmaker73

Finally been issued a SW - glad it wasn't an 8 month delay like Oliver222. First HS visit is on Monday afternoon, so guess I'll be spending the afternoon cleaning.  How are all the rest of us Scots getting on?


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## oliver222

Yay that's good news that HS starting


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## AdoptionDreams

Yay that's fantastic news!!!

We're just awaiting word of initial visit. Prep is completed and I LOVED every minute x


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## Starmaker73

Thanks. I'm trying to get excited, but I am unsure of how comfortable I am going to feel with this particular SW. Really wish i had been allocated a woman.

Fingers crossed you hear something soon, AdoptionDreams.


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## AdoptionDreams

You're Glasgow aren't you? Did they sent a letter regarding initial interview or was it booked over the phone? Male SW? I think that's a really good thing  x


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## Starmaker73

Nope, I'm under East Dunbartonshire, and they call to arrange appointments.  Is it a follow up appointment after Prep you are waiting on, or your first actual HS visit with your allocated SW?  Cause for my follow up meeting they emailed me.

Why do you think a male SW is a good thing?  I'm a lone female adopter so I just assumed I'd get allocated one of the 4 women, tbh having a male SW makes me nervous.


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## AdoptionDreams

This is the follow up after prep group then we wait to be allocated a SW. I'm Glasgow so scared we have a long wait. I brought it up at prep and they said it def won't be 8 moths - they also have another 4 SW starting this week.

Tbh I find male social workers really patient and understanding (work connections) they don't seem to 'flap" as much and seem on the ball. I bet you feel much more relaxed once you've met him x


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## Starmaker73

Oh I really hope so, I really do. 

As for the meeting, we only waited a couple of weeks for the follow up meeting, then another 5 wk wait for the SW allocation.  TBH, I was very surprised when he said he could start on Monday.  I was expecting him to say he'd be able to start my HS in a month or something.  Hopefully that means he is on the ball and things will really get moving now. 

Oh jeez I really hope you don't have to wait 8months, but I guess Glasgow is such a big area to cover so maybe it will take longer until they get these new SWs up and running.  I did consider going through Glasgow, but changed my mind for that very reason, I thought their waiting times would be much longer.  Good luck, hope you hear something really soon.


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## oliver222

My Sw is male and he is lovely.


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## AdoptionDreams

Oliver have u went to panel yet? X


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## crazyroychick

Starmaker that's great, we have 4th HS visit on mon too x good luck x

Starting to feel real for us now, referees got their paperwork this am, medicals on Wednesday, it's all go now!

Hi to everyone else, off to bed after 14hr shift! DH working away so been up since 5.15 to doggy walk before work! Had to get my mum and dad to doggy sit xx


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## Starmaker73

Thanks Crazyroychick, wow you're HSs are really whizzing along.  Did they tell you how many visits you will have?  Good luck with the medicals and for Monday.


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## oliver222

AdoptionDreams said:


> Oliver have u went to panel yet? X


No, paperwork wasn't done and panels were then full. So we are pencilled in for 2nd panel in September. Which is 16th September. Got meeting with sw on 16th of this month to see our paperwork before submitted as all needs to be in for 19th of this month. Glad we are getting there but when started process kept thinking that we would have a child placed by Xmas 2013 and obviously that's not going to be case. But hey ho Xmas 2014 here we come lol.


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## AdoptionDreams

oliver222 said:


> AdoptionDreams said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oliver have u went to panel yet? X
> 
> 
> 
> No, paperwork wasn't done and panels were then full. So we are pencilled in for 2nd panel in September. Which is 16th September. Got meeting with sw on 16th of this month to see our paperwork before submitted as all needs to be in for 19th of this month. Glad we are getting there but when started process kept thinking that we would have a child placed by Xmas 2013 and obviously that's not going to be case. But hey ho Xmas 2014 here we come lol.
Click to expand...

One thing we learn to be is patient - sadly! Lol. Sep will be here before you know it. Very exciting. I'm wondering when we will here about initial visit. Did they write or call you? What do they cover at initial visit if you don't mind me asking. I cam PM if easier x


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## oliver222

AdoptionDreams said:


> oliver222 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> AdoptionDreams said:
> 
> 
> 
> Oliver have u went to panel yet? X
> 
> 
> 
> No, paperwork wasn't done and panels were then full. So we are pencilled in for 2nd panel in September. Which is 16th September. Got meeting with sw on 16th of this month to see our paperwork before submitted as all needs to be in for 19th of this month. Glad we are getting there but when started process kept thinking that we would have a child placed by Xmas 2013 and obviously that's not going to be case. But hey ho Xmas 2014 here we come lol.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> One thing we learn to be is patient - sadly! Lol. Sep will be here before you know it. Very exciting. I'm wondering when we will here about initial visit. Did they write or call you?  What do they cover at initial visit if you don't mind me asking. I cam PM if easier x
Click to expand...

I think it was a letter that was sent. It was quite quick after prep. Prep was finished on 20th April and sw came out to see us in the May. Was less than a month after prep.. She was here for maybe around 60-90 mins and just asked general questions about us, our history, why we wanted to adopt, bit about fertility journey and what we had done to prepare, reading etc. Our sw was a bit like a head mistress. Gave hubby into trouble for not having read enough. I had read loads, hubby not a big reader. Our own social worker is very different in style. It was fine although I am glad she wasn't our sw as her style would not have suited my dh. At the end she gave us forms to officially apply.


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## AdoptionDreams

I dropped them a quick e mail today but not heard back. Lol I'm just so aware that we've still to formally apply! I've been so busy this week making a start on various things! Good point about DH I've just told him what you said as he's not reading as much as me. Are the forms ok to apply? X


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## Starmaker73

Adoptions Dreams, I wouldn't worry about not having formally applied yet.  My Prep was the first week in June and I've not filled out a single form yet either.


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## oliver222

Adoptiondreams Went and hunted out the forms(I took photocopy after filled in just incase lost in post. Ask for details of yourselves, employment history, bit about your home and locality, address history, gp details and reference details, any criminal convictions and few questions to be filled in by both parties.

What experience do you have looking after your own or other peoples children (including voluntary)
Why do you want to adopt
What qualities can you bring to adoption.
Have you had any significant experiences in your life which would be relevant to adoption.
What experience do you have with others working as part of a team.

Good book for men is Baaf book approaching fatherhood which is written by a man for men. My hubby thought was good and easy to read. I gave my copy away to someone on here. I do have a couple of basic easy to read books if you don't have them. An Adoption Diary and What to expect when you are adopting. Hubby read them to add to his list. Can send you them if you don't have them.

Also have my support network, family trees, pen pics etc on email. If you need any ideas about anything give me a shout and will email you stuff.


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## Starmaker73

Oooh Oliver222, thanks for that insight in to the forms.  What do they mean by the last question on your list about working as part of a team?

And if you don't mind me asking, what are the pen pics you mention?


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## oliver222

Think its just to show you can work with others, as will be dealing with agency, sw's etc. We were asked in homestudy as well about team working.
Pen picture is just really like a little summary of you in around 300 words. Kind of like a covering letter in a cv.


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## GERTIE179

Hi all,

The team one tends to be related to what if you have a lot if medics/agencies/SWs/HVs/CAHMS/Physio/School to deal with for Los. How do interact & can you fight for LOs needs whilst keeping good relations to work on a positive outcome.
X


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## AdoptionDreams

Starmaker73 said:


> Adoptions Dreams, I wouldn't worry about not having formally applied yet. My Prep was the first week in June and I've not filled out a single form yet either.


Thank you I was starting to panic! Lol x


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## AdoptionDreams

oliver222 said:


> Adoptiondreams Went and hunted out the forms(I took photocopy after filled in just incase lost in post. Ask for details of yourselves, employment history, bit about your home and locality, address history, gp details and reference details, any criminal convictions and few questions to be filled in by both parties.
> 
> What experience do you have looking after your own or other peoples children (including voluntary)
> Why do you want to adopt
> What qualities can you bring to adoption.
> Have you had any significant experiences in your life which would be relevant to adoption.
> What experience do you have with others working as part of a team.
> 
> Good book for men is Baaf book approaching fatherhood which is written by a man for men. My hubby thought was good and easy to read. I gave my copy away to someone on here. I do have a couple of basic easy to read books if you don't have them. An Adoption Diary and What to expect when you are adopting. Hubby read them to add to his list. Can send you them if you don't have them.
> 
> Also have my support network, family trees, pen pics etc on email. If you need any ideas about anything give me a shout and will email you stuff.


Thank you so very much I really appreciate your support. I would really appreciate those books if you don't mind, just let me know costings etc and I can either pop a cheque in post or transfer funds. That's a great explanation of the form. I'm wondering if they will push for DH to gain more experience. He is always around kids in the family and friends kids and my goodness he's amazing with them but will that be enough? I was thinking about applying for his disclosure check and trying to get him into a nursery for a few sessions to gain more experience. What do you think?

I have made a start on our support network, online support network, and bibliography of what books and websites we access. I'm struggling with the family tree layout so any help on that would be fantastic.

I know I'm probably sounding to organised but I just feel doing nothing is wasting time so I often sit and do a few hours prep for HS lol xx


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## oliver222

Hi adoptiondreamsI am at work. Will email you when get home and you can send me your address and wil post books on monday.


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## Chipmunk

Got our prep days later this month....any advice on what to expect?


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## Starmaker73

I'm sure the Glasgow ones are run differently from the East Dunbartonshire ones (which were VERY focused on fostering) so you'll get better info from someone who has attended them, but I will say make sure you swap contact info with all the other people on your course - they'll be your lifeline when you are driven insane by all the waiting further down the line. 

But yaaaaaay for moving one step closer.


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## Starmaker73

Quick question guys, did any of you look at VAs in Scotland before choosing to go with their LA?  Or are any of you going through North Lanarkshire LA?  You don't have to go through you're own LA, do you?  Reason I'm asking is that I'm starting from scratch, and changing agencies.


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## oliver222

Starmaker my aunts friend went through St Margarets in Glasgow and they adopted a newborn about 8 months ago. Not sure what rules are re single adopter's. As I read an article saying they were threatening to take away their charitable status as only accepted married couples and needed to have been married for two years. But as I say not sure re single adopters but maybe worth a phonecall. I actually live in North Lanarkshire but going through Glasgow but I am sure there was someone going through North Lanarkshire but can't remember who it was,

Sorry that not worked out with your current agency. Don't want to pry but can issues not be resolved so you are not having to start all over again. Or even go with new social worker if that is problem.
Hope you get it sorted.


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## Starmaker73

Hi Oliver, thanks for your support and info.  I tried to request a new SW but that made matters worse so I was backed into a corner.  I don't mind starting again if I find the right fit for me this time.  I have contacted a couple of VAs and am also looking at a few surrounding LAs, I'm quite lucky in where I live as I am kind of in the middle of about 4 LAs.


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## crazyroychick

What happened Starmaker?

We are with South Lanarkshire and they have been really good xx


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## AdoptionDreams

Oh no starmaker I'm so sorry to hear that  x


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## Diane71

Hi everyone 

How r u all doing ? 

Our next step is getting our disclosure done which will be Monday, not a huge step but its another step loser.

We r hoping that we getting invited to go on the prep days for October as we r away to Egypt in September for 2 weeks on holiday but also I'm waiting to go in for an operation to get my gallbladder removed which I think will also be October !!  

Star maker what has happened ? That is such a waste of a lot of time to start from scratch I hope ur ok xx


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## oliver222

Hope you find another agency soon starmaker. It is important to get a sw that you feel happy with. Sw who came out and did our initial visit was a bit snippy and my hubby would have really struggled if she had been doing our hs. When you are telling someone things that your own family maybe don't even know you need to feel comfortable with them.


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## Starmaker73

Thanks guys.  I don't really want to go into too much detail, but let's just say that it was never going to work out with the SW I was allocated.  I tried to request a change but that didn't work out either so I had no other choice.  And Oliver222, I agree, you need to feel comfortable with the SW or it just makes things even harder. Onward and upwards I guess.

I am currently looking at a couple of VAs and a couple of LAs (Stirling and South Lanarkshire).


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## crazyroychick

Well said, the SW who did our initial visit was awful and we were dreading HS but we absolutely love the lady we were allocated. All SW who did prep were fabulous too, best of luck xx


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## Diane71

Evening all 

How s everyone ? 

We have now completed our paper work to get disclosure done this evening and the sw thinks we may get a date for prep days for October 

We r in Glasgow and my partner is a bit worried bout prep he is quiet reserved and laid back where I am more of a budgie well that's what he calls me lol 

Can anyone tell me a wee bit of what to expect we have only been told it will be over 2 Fridays in October 

Thanks


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## AdoptionDreams

Are you going through Glasgow City Council? X


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## Diane71

Hi adoption dreams 

Yes we r going through Glasgow council what bout you ?


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## AdoptionDreams

We must have been at the same info evening then lol. City Chambers on the 21st May? x


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## Diane71

Hey 

Ye I was just thinking that lol 

Were bouts were u sitting? we were at the back on the right 

Oh how exciting lol


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## AdoptionDreams

We were second row from the front (left hand side) haha. How funny. I wonder why we're at different points in the process. I notice you've had medicals and disclosure. We've not had that yet but have completed prep  coursex


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## Diane71

Hi 

Ye I saw that as well we only got our disclosure done this evening

Think we got medicals done as i have a heart condition and also awaiting to go in for an.op to get gallbladder removed lol I'm falling apart as because partner had a driving ban bout 20 years ago lol 

How was prep ?? What kinda stuff did u do partner is worried bout it lol


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## AdoptionDreams

We're just waiting to hear about our allocated SW who will carry out the follow up visit. Prep was fantastic, we both really enjoyed it. The social workers introduced themselves they both seemed lovely. Very quickly we took part in an activity ‘Ice Breaker’, my tummy instantly started turning I became so nervous. We were to stand at the front of the group, write our name on the board, introduce ourselves and explain why we were given our name and the meaning behind it. My head was all over the place, I could barely remember my own name due to nerves. DH got up before me, he was so funny, he really made everyone laugh (including me) I was up next and managed to say my part without stumbling over words. Everyone took a turn and we had some laughs along the way. At the end of the ‘Ice Breaker’ the social worker explained the purpose of the task. It was to show us how important our names are and the meaning behind them, she went onto say we shouldn’t change our child’s name when they arrive home. It really hit home to me how important that was. Obviously some children’s name require to be changed due to protection and security but her point was “don’t change their name just because you don’t like it”. It’s their identity and the only real link to their birth family. It was very interesting but it all comes down to individual cases and backgrounds.

We then moved onto having a ‘thought shower’ we were to call out our thoughts. The question was ‘Why are children looked after?’. I was first to answer and then a long list of other reasons followed. It provoked great discussions within the group. We were split into three groups, each group had a case study to read. Our group really hit it off, we all relaxed and seemed comfortable in each others company. We also had the chance to learn about each others journey. DH and I talked quite a bit about support networks.

We then sat through a short presentation talking us through the process. It was similar to what we discussed at the information evening. They were not very clear on timescales, I hope to ask more questions about this at our follow up.

The afternoon was tougher than the morning. We sat and listened to the medical advisor, it was challenging listening to all the medical conditions. Listening to the impact on the young children made me feel sad, I know it’s vital that we listen to it. We need to be aware of everything because we don’t know what the future has in store for our child. You will both be fine. We have made some lovely friends through prep and we have all kept in touch x


----------



## AdoptionDreams

That was the 1st day I've still to type up notes from 2nd day. The final day was just as good more group work and a talk from educational psychologist x


----------



## Diane71

Oh wow 

Thank u so much for that I'm excited now 

When do u think u will get allocated a Sw 

I already have one or at least I think we do lol 

I was just given my name cause my mum liked it lol short n sweet 

Is ur blog private


----------



## AdoptionDreams

They said 4 weeks from prep (roughly) so I'm hoping to hear in the next week. The password is GrowingInMyHeart I need to update it - it's on my to do list lol x


----------



## Diane71

Adoption dreams 

Is it ok to have a wee read ? it looks very impressive our sw says that a prep you have to give all your addresses that u have lived at since birth, I left home at 18 and must have a a dozen address from England to Perthshire to abroad, I better start on that now lol 

Do u have any tips on what we an prepare in advance before prep ? 

R u on **


----------



## oliver222

Hi Diane

I also am with Glasgow. Our prep started same way with name ice breaker and did few tasks like why children in care and what characteristics we believed were nature and what were nurture etc. My dh was not looking forward to prep as not very confident taking in groups but he was fine. I am type of person who likes to debate and happy to speak in group activities. I had told him before it just to try and join in where he felt he could and not worry. He got on fine. 
I had did a lot of research prior to prep so was quite clued up on lot of things being discussed but others were not so aware but really didn't matter as everything was explained.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Of course feel free to read it. I actually need to check with SW if I'm able to blog - I do it all anon though so hoping it ok. I don't use ** hun, if you need anything feel free to DM me on here xx


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Oliver I bet your counting down the days? X


----------



## Starmaker73

Have any of your LAs mentioned Legal Fees?  I am trying to find out if these are paid for by the LA or if we have to pay them ourselves.  My LA hasn't mentioned them at all so I am going to ask at my next HS, but just wondered if you guys had any info.

Oh and PS......I sorted everything out with my LA and am being allocated a new SW.


----------



## crazyroychick

That's fantastic Starmaker, so pleased for you   xx

We have to pay our legal fees, was touched on during prep group but I know some LAs pay them xx

Well in total shock, provisional panel date 14th November   :     xx


----------



## Starmaker73

Oh what fabulous news crazyroychick, how exciting to actually have a date.


----------



## Diane71

Hi 

How if everyone ? 

That's fab star asker, great news x 

Does anyone know how long it takes to get your disclosure done ?? Done all the paper work with sw on the 12 August


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi guys, how is everyone doing in their different stages of the process?  Hope all is going well for all of you.

Just wanted to give a wee quick update to say I have finally been allocated a new SW.  She is lovely and i'm very happy.  Have my first meeting with her on Monday, but since I am about a month behind the others on my prep group she is going full steam ahead to "get this show on the road" (her words, not mine).  So I'm finally out of my funk and looking forward again.  

Thanks for all your support guys, it really means a lot.  It's hard to keep my chin up when I've no partner to share my stresses with, and although my support network try very hard it's just easier to talk to people who are going through it all.  Big hugs to all of you.


----------



## Caledonia

Hi everyone, 

I'm a newbie from Edinburgh - been trying to read through most of the pages up to now. So exciting to reads you all progressing along. 

I'm a female single adopter and empathise with Starmaker73 fully... I'm getting wound up just truant to choose my agency! Lol 

Look forward to following your journies


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi Caledonia, and welcome.  You'll find this place a wealth of information and support, it's amazing.  

I just read your other post, sorry I can't help with Edinburgh agencies, but I did contact Barnardos before I went with my LA and they didn't even call me back. As for waiting for Prep, as you'll see from my timeline I had to wait 6 months to get onto a course. Unfortunately this whole process is one long waiting game, I am learning how to be patient but it's certainly not easy.


----------



## Caledonia

Thanks for the welcome Starmaker  

Thanks also for the info about Barnardos, I'm not overly impressed so far and I'm waiting for them to contact me to arrange my initial home visit. However the lady sent an email asking for me to let her know times I'm free at the end of her working week (she works part time ) rather than phone me like everyone else has. This then pushes it further back and given I work full time and they know that and I need to arrange leave it will no doubt be email table tennis! 

One question though - has anyone went on a prep course without a home visit? The agency I met with first net met me in their offices and I just checked and the next step is prep course next year, not a home visit! Isn't this unusual? 

Also barnardos seem to imply they start home study before prep group finished... Isn't that also strange? 

Sorry so many questions!!!


----------



## Starmaker73

I had a home visit in Jan then prep started in June, so I can't help you with your first question.  As for the second one, well most of the posters on here are in England and a lot of them seem to be in some kind of new system that has the prep at the end.  I haven't heard anything about the LAs in Scotland changing to the same system so maybe it's just a VA thing.

Hope your email tennis match doesn't last too long and that you get a date set soon.  I must admit, each SW I have dealt with so far (3 in total) has contacted me in different ways; email, home phone, mobile phone.  The mobile works best for me and that's the chosen method for my new SW so I'm happy about that.


----------



## Treaco

Hi girls haven't been on for a while but pleased to say our hs is finally under way. Our social worker came out to start our hs on Thursday and was there for about 2hrs and she was really nice. She has made a further 2 appointments with us for the next couple of weeks so hopefully there won't be any hiccups and we can get thru this smoothly.

Glad to see things are moving along for everyone and hopefully now Glasgow have more social workers in place others won't wait as long as we did for hs to start.

m x


----------



## Starmaker73

Awwww that's great news. Wow you have had a long wait for your HS to start, haven't you? Fingers crossed it smoother sailing from now on.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

That's great Treaco - we have our follow up next Monday hopefully we will formally apply. I spoke to them regarding my concerns about the long wait to be allocated a SW to start HS. They advised me of the 5 new SW and said they would hope to allocate us within 6 weeks xx


----------



## Caledonia

Thanks Starmaker. 

Think I will go with the first agency - they have been so quick along the way and although it is a wait for prep you are allocated a SW right away at end of prep - I see some people wait around a little for that bit.

Still amazes me that agencies can all do it differently - but I guess as long as the end result is the same x


----------



## Starmaker73

Oliver 222-  for Panel on Monday.  I'm sure it will all go smoothly and by Tuesday you'll be refreshing that email waiting for a match.

Adoption Dreams -  for your follow up on Monday too.  Fingers crossed you'll get allocated a SW soon.


----------



## Caledonia

HI

Sorry to hijack the thread but wondered if any of the Scotland folk have had it mentioned about a £1000 fee they may have to cover at court for lodging the paperwork. I had thought the fee was about £115 but at my home visit the SW mentioned it being £1000 and saying some LA's including Edinburgh don't cover it!!

This figure is way above anything I had heard and really has me freaking out!


----------



## Starmaker73

A lot of LAs tell you about it up front, some even have the exact figure on their websites. Our LA never mentioned it so I asked my SW at my HS and she said our LA doesn't charge us legal fees, they are covered for us. That was a big relief as some LAs are quoting over £1400 for them.


----------



## GERTIE179

Hi Caledonia,

Most LAs now won't cover legal fees unless its a contested adoption. It's all to do with budget cuts I'm afraid. Ours weren't covered but they were able to pull a settle in allowance (£250) as a sweetener.

I plan to write to msp as tbh I think its disgraceful. In my opinion its like you are being forced to buy/pay for a child. I know raising kids us expensive but if you have young relatives etc you can pick up a lot if items preloved. The legal fees are a chunk and not about daily expenses if kids.

X


----------



## Caledonia

I am truly gobsmacked! I had no idea,  I have read so much about adoption however obviously failed to notice the legal fees we face that is not faced in the rest of the UK. 

It really leaves quite a bitter taste in my mouth - it feels exactly like 'buying' a child and as someone who has been involved in the hearings system for years I know what money it costs to look after these poor kids in care! You think they might want to cough up the cost for these kids getting a permanent home! 

I am truly stunned!


----------



## oliver222

Glasgow have it on website that they will meet all reasonable costs if adoption is contested (which they state majority are). But if straight forward and not contested adopters should meet. I have heard figure of approx £1000 but other la will be different.


----------



## Caledonia

Thaks for clarifying - I think I am just a bit stumped that down south it is £115 and up here a grand - really not good enough!


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi all,

I didn't spot this post when I joined, but I just wanted to stick my head in and say hi!  

I hope you've got some more information about the crazy fee thing, Caledonia. I am certainly going to be asking about it at prep group. Seems crazy for there to be such a difference between Scotland and England.... Although I am sure those in England say the same thing about our free prescriptions!  

Twinkletoes.


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi Twinkletoes   Great to have another Scot onboard.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Oliver just answered for me 😄 that's exactly what I was told. A section 25 will have costs but a section 70 the authority will cover costs. Meeting went so well on Monday, I don't think it could have went better. Now awaiting date to start home study. Yay xx


----------



## crazyroychick

We are with South Lanarkshire and we were told at prep costs would be roughly 1000 if uncontested, we think this is wrotten too as would much rather spend that money on our LO xx


----------



## Melaniesunflower

Hi I'm a newbie from Ayrshire! Hopefully starting prep classes at the start of October


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi Melaniesunflower.  Welcome to the Board.  Good luck for Prep.


----------



## crazyroychick

Welcome Melanie, good luck for prep xx

How's everyone else? Having a nice w/end I hope xx


----------



## Starmaker73

Hey crazyroychick, all good here.  I have my 2nd HS visit tomorrow, and this one will be the challenging one as it's revolving round my big galloping galoof of a dog.  He's a very bouncy 18 month old, and he needs to be on his best behaviour for her.  Yikes!!

How's things with you?  HS all finished for you?  That must feel good.  What are you doing to keep yourself occupied until panel? At least you have a date.....so exciting.


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi Starmaker (and everyone else!)

Good luck for tomorrow - please come and let us know how it goes. We have two big galloping galoofs and so the dog side of things is something I am interested in/concerned about! I know the HS bit is supposed to be hush hush, so I don't know what you can say but PM please if it's not allowed on here.  

Congratulations on finishing HS, Crazyroychick! You must be delighted. 

Twinkletoes.


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi, Twinkletoes, will do.  I think it's totally fine to talk about things in general about HS on here (just not to go into too much detail about private matters that are discussed) so I'll pop back and let you know how it goes.  He is a fabulous dog and once he is over the initial excitement of having someone new in the house that can give him attention and treats, then he is happy to curl up and sleep.  Fingers crossed he doesn't prove me a liar on this. LOL!


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi Starmaker,

Thanks for clearing that up.... I didn't want to get anyone into trouble!  

Our two are exactly the same, they are fantastic with kids, and really soft, but get a little excited when people come to the house, but once they've sniffed everything they're more than happy to go and lie down. I just worry because they're so big.... and there's two. Luckily the SW who visited us is a dog person so wasn't shocked or concerned (I hope!) by anything... But that doesn't stop me worrying!

I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed that your dog behaves for you tomorrow! Good luck!!


----------



## crazyroychick

Got lots on next few weeks to keep us occupied, only 7 weeks to go  

We did our doggy questionnaire last visit and she actually behaved really well, how did you get on? X


----------



## Starmaker73

My big clumsy dog was on his best behaviour today and I was very proud of him, until he jumped on the couch at the very end of the visit and tried to sit on the SWs knee. UGH!!! So close.   She actually wants to see what he's like around little children so I am going to get friends to come over with their little ones so we can see how the dog interacts with them.  He is super friendly so our main concern is that he'll knock them over in excitement.  More consistent training is required I think. Ooopsie.


----------



## Melaniesunflower

I'm sure he'll cope fine! we just have a cat, which makes the process easier, SW said they don't really do a cat assessment, just make sure it doesn't scratch everyone. Luckily our cat is very laid back and anytime our friends wee ones have annoyed her she's just "left the building"


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi guys,

It sounds like it almost went so well, is he ok around your friend's kids? Is it a normal request to see the dog with children? If only you could explain to them how important it is that they just behave for the duration of the SW's visit.  

Our dogs have a habit of jumping on the sofa for a cuddle.... I'll have to make sure I keep an eye on them the next time the SW is here! 

Good luck for the kids + SW visit!

Crazyroychick - what type of thing is in the dog questionnaire? 

Nothing new here... just waiting for prep group day no. 2 to come around. 

I hope everything is well.


----------



## Starmaker73

He hasn't really been around children at all, other then meeting strangers out on his walks.  He is actually quite timid when that happens, but i think it's because they are small and that confuses him. 

Hope all is well with everyone else.  I'm just busy getting on with my next lot of homework from the SW (answering more questions of the Form F, Pen Pic, and finding a halfway decent photo of myself to do onto the Form F.....ugh, i hate getting my picture taken).


----------



## Starmaker73

Crazyroychick - 7 WEEKS!!!!!! Ahhhhh, how exciting.  I'm doing up my kitchen this week (new tiles, painting walls, etc) just to give it a new lease of life.  Looking forward to having it over done and looking nice.


----------



## crazyroychick

They ask age, if they are neutered, where they sleep/are allowed, have they ever been aggressive to people/other dogs, have they ever bitten, are they used to kids, what kind of temperament.  Nothing unexpected, my wee dog kept trying to go in her bag and lick her feet (she has a thing for feet!) xx

Starmaker I am glossing the whole house just now   love it when it's done but hate doing it! Was doing the nursery today, love saying that! Getting so excited, when's your next visit? Xx


----------



## Starmaker73

My SW is PT so only comes once a fortnight, so next visit is 7 Oct.  I think she is looking for ways to slow us down actually cause i'm "charging ahead" of others on the prep as there is only one of everything to fill out/get back/etc and I have very few moves, etc to check up on.  

Glossing is the worst job ever,  good luck with it.  Rather you then me. 

So exciting that you are getting a nursery ready.  What age group are you aiming for?  Preference of boy/girl?


----------



## Caledonia

Hi all, 

Good to hear eveyone's is getting on well and doggies have been on their best behaviour. 

I have been invited to prep course in November but now starting to worry i need to organise finances better as clearly there are things I didn't take into consideration. 

Anyway whilst I am deciding it is nice to follow everyone's elses progress!


----------



## Melaniesunflower

We got word that prep group starts on 7th october


----------



## twinkletoes13

Thank you Crazyroychick! I have all that information so that should be fine. Our two like to sniff faces, which is ok if we get assigned the SW who visited us at the start of the month (she's a dog person).... but not so ok if people aren't keen on dogs!

It must be the time of year for house improvements. We have the builders in next month. Nursery decorating would be so much more fun though. How's it going?

That's great news about prep group, Melaniesunflower, that's only a week and a half away!

Starmaker - I suspect once we get going I'll be a charging ahead type person too. I hope our SW doesn't try to slow me down!  

Anyway, I hope everyone is well and I haven't missed anyone!


----------



## crazyroychick

We said 0-4, no preference on sex, what's everyone else thinking for age range? X

That's great Caledonia and Melanie about prep dates, you will really enjoy it xx

Hope everyone has a lovely w/end, I am working it all, the perks of being a nurse    x


----------



## Starmaker73

Good luck with Prep Melanie and Caledonia.  At least you have a date now. 

My SW is trying to persuade me to look at 0-4 as well, but I have told her I'm rather look at 2-5, and like you I have no preference about sex.

Good luck with the builders next month, Twinkletoes.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

We have said 0-2 but preferably 0-1, we have no preference on gender xx


----------



## Diane71

We have said 0-2 but I think we will get put forward for a 0-4 no preference on sex 

We seem to be at a stand still had info evening in May and still no sniff of a date for prep days.

Sw says waiting on disclosureto come back which shpuld be any day now.

Blood Sw seems to take days to even reply to.an email.


----------



## Starmaker73

Aww that sucks Diane that you are in limbo.  Been there, done that and it's definitely not fun. Hope you hear something soon.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

It does all seem to drag in Diane but we seem to be a but further on - I wonder why it's taking so long. Has they told tou when the next prep takes place - I'm sure they said once a month x


----------



## Diane71

We have now received both our disclosures which I emailed and text my Sw yesterday but heard nothing back.
There is dates the middle of October I'm hoping we get offered those dates.


----------



## twinkletoes13

We don't have a set age preference yet, but after briefly discussing it with the SW we've accepted her suggestion for as young as possible. I'm not sure what age ranges they use, but we'll be at the 0 end of things.

I hope you hear back from your SW soon, Diane. Waiting is rubbish. 

We got a call back yesterday from one of the LA's we spoke to in August. They rang to let us know the dates of their next prep group... Wait for it.... end of 2014  . I couldn't believe it. It's a good job the VA we're using has recently opened an office that covers our area otherwise we'd be stuck.

I hope everyone is well.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

That's good your disclosures have came back, I think they take around 6 weeks or so. Oh the joys! The SW you are dealing with - will that be the person that does your assessment too? x


----------



## Treaco

Hi sorry I haven't been on since last posting but we are just back from 2 weeks in Turkey.  Glad to see things are moving for alot of people now and for those waiting hopefully it won't be a long wait.

Things seem to be moving quite quick at our end, Social worker is due back out on Tuesday for her 2nd HV but since her 1st visit all our reference letters have been received both personal and work, our medical forms have come out to us so have to arrange the medicals, hopefully it will keep moving quick.

The way things were discussed with us at prep was that most of our costs would be covered including legal fees as long as they weren't over the top.

Starmaker hope your dog is on his best behaviour on next visit.

Our lo is going to be about again on  Tuesday when SW attends as school is off which we didn't know about, might see if my mum will take him for a while

We're looking at 0-2 and my little boy keeps asking for a sister so might put a preference on it being a girl as he is a mummys boy and think there might be less resentment if it was a girl.

M x


----------



## Starmaker73

Treaco, that's interesting that you have work references in addition to personal ones.  My SW says they won't be sending one to my employer, which I'm glad about as my boss is based in England so doesn't directly work with me so it's kind of awkward.  I have no clue how they decide who to send references too.  Good luck with your second HV, glad things are moving for you.


----------



## oliver222

Both me and dh were asked for work references and then we had to provide a personal reference each and two joint. Sw then went out to visit 1 of our joint, my personal and spoke to our other joint over the phone.

When we started process age ranges in Glasgow were 0-2, 2-5 and 5 plus, now they usually say 0-4 and 4 plus. We are approved at panel for 0-3. Sw had said that better to ask for approval wider spectrum and also panel don't like it if they think you are only interested in a really young child. We are either sex although me and dh keep thinking we will be matched with a girl (don't really know why).

I cant wait to start seeing profiles but dreading it as well as I know I am going to feel really guilty if have to say no to a profile (although I know that this would be right thing to do if didn't feel right).


----------



## Treaco

Hi girls

Starmaker we're the same as Oliver222 Glasgow so had to provide work, 2 joint and 1 personal each references, we both work for the police although different areas and they've been gr8 about it all so didn't mind them giving references.

Oliver222 all the social workers we've had r happy about us going for young one because we already have a lo they like a gd gap between them and we have to consider what would be best for our lo as well. Did ur disclosures get dobe same time as ur references.  Hope u get to c profiles soon.

My lo keeps asking when we will get a little one as he's desperate to be a big brother.

M xx


----------



## AdoptionDreams

We just filled in the official application, my goodness Glasgow like to be sure don't they lol - I was shocked at the amount of references including our employers. I am sending it back recorded delivery on Tue. Praying we don't have a huge wait to start home study x


----------



## oliver222

Treaco said:


> Hi girls
> 
> Starmaker we're the same as Oliver222 Glasgow so had to provide work, 2 joint and 1 personal each references, we both work for the police although different areas and they've been gr8 about it all so didn't mind them giving references.
> 
> Oliver222 all the social workers we've had r happy about us going for young one because we already have a lo they like a gd gap between them and we have to consider what would be best for our lo as well. Did ur disclosures get dobe same time as ur references. Hope u get to c profiles soon.
> 
> My lo keeps asking when we will get a little one as he's desperate to be a big brother.
> 
> M xx


We did our disclosures at same time as medicals which was probably about mid way through homestudy.
With regards to age part of our reasoning for not having age group up to 4 was our great nephew. We are really close and have him a lot and he is 3 and half at moment. Feel that would be easier for him and our new child if he is older. We are ideally hoping for 2 years at oldest and Sw is aware of that so hopefully will be considered when they are looking for a match.


----------



## Starmaker73

Oliver that's very exciting. Hope the profiles aren't too heartbreaking to read. 

I was surprised I don't need a work reference, just 4 personal ones.


----------



## Treaco

Oliver222 I think it would be nice if your nephew was older. We're also looking at about 2 being the oldest as well.

Did you have to fill in a form for them to send off for the disclosures?(if so she might bring them with her on Tuesday)

I'm going to get our medicals booked this week, it's all just seems as if everything has happened while we were on holiday and now sw is out on Tuesday again and me and DH had a wee exercise to do for her coming back out which we haven't done so will need to do it tomorrow.  Most of our references have been sent back except my mums and father in laws as they got them mixed up and sent them out the wrong way round so had to send them new ones which they got yesterday, so should get them back this week.
I think it seems to us to be moving quite quick because we waited so long for our SW to be allocated.  I also need to check with my lo school on Wednesday if they got anything sent to them as I hadn't told them about it all yet.

Starmaker I think the work reference is more of a character references and to make sure yuor not off sick all the time etc.

It is all exciting when the process starts but does also take up alot of your time and house tidying and mine always seems to be a riot with my lo.

M x


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi everyone,

We've not been asked for any references yet, but we've asked the people who would like to use to be referees if they'd mind doing it for us. The SW did tell us how many they wanted at our initial home visit, but I have (typically) forgotten, all I can remember is that they don't want family. Do the referees have to have known me/us for a specified length of time, or does it vary between agencies? DH has asked his boss for the work one and that'll be fine, I am self employed so can write myself a glowing reference.  

I think I'd be the same about reading profiles too, Oliver222. It'll be hard to get my head to do the talking when we get to that stage. I hope it goes OK for you.

Good luck to everyone else, I hope everything is going smoothly. When is your next visit Starmaker? I have my fingers crossed your dog is perfect.


----------



## oliver222

With regards to our disclosures, sw got us to fill out forms and he sent them away.

Our references were to be two family and 2 non family. I chose my aunt as family and dh chose my sister as is (reason being has very small family and none have kids that see us with). Our non relatives were both Joint ones. One was a family friend who has known as for years and my nephews girlfriend was second (we have her son my great nephew all the time).

We also did a visit at end where we had my great nephew over and sw watched us interacting with him (my dh doesn't have a lot of experience with kids other than him, so think this is maybe reason why.)


----------



## Diane71

Hi Oliver 

In regards to reference does the sw just send letters out to them or call them ? 

When do u think you will get your profiles for which children ?


----------



## Starmaker73

twinkletoes13 said:


> When is your next visit Starmaker? I have my fingers crossed your dog is perfect.


Thanks, me too. He is getting neutered in the next month so I'm hoping that might calm him a little more. My next visit is next Monday, my SW is PT so can only come once a fortnight.

As for references, I was asked for one family member and 3 non family. They all had to know me for at least 3 years. My SW said she will send letters out to them all and then personally talk to two of them face to face. I think each LA works differently when it comes to this.


----------



## Diane71

Hi how is everyone ? 

Everyone seems to moving along quite well, I seem to be at a bloody stand still 

We both have our disclosures now which I have email sw this evening so hoping to hear some kind of news by the end of the week !!! 

I feeling like asking her to stick a rocket up her behind lol 

Also I'm waiting to go in for an operation to get gallbladder removed and I really want to get my prep days out the way first. 

Don't they have some kind of dead lines now that they should have u at a certain part of the adoption process by a certain time  

Sorry for the moan lol


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Diane,

Have you spoken to a team leader? Maybe you should - see if it speeds things up a little. Surely they can put you both onto the next prep group x


----------



## Starmaker73

Diane, feel free to keep moaning, we've all done it on here from time to time.   I know that the have a target of 6 months to complete the HS from start to finish, but all the stuff that goes before that seems to be a free for all. I waited 6 months to get onto a Prep course.   Hope things get moving for you soon.


----------



## Diane71

Hi 

Havnt spoken to her team leader, don't even know who is it lol 

The last time I asked my sw for an update before I went to Egypt sep she told me just to go and enjoy my holiday and to stop getting so anxious !!!!! Lol but my sw is quite nice but I think just very laid back 

Feeling like screaming I'm fecking 42 and can't have children and having gone through 5 failed Ivf i wish they would hurry up and communicate better with me, she take bout a week to reply if I email her 

I know I'm impatient but just want the next step out the way before my op. 

Rant over xx


----------



## oliver222

Diane71 said:


> Hi Oliver
> 
> In regards to reference does the sw just send letters out to them or call them ?
> 
> When do u think you will get your profiles for which children ?


All references were sent a form to fill out which had questions for them to answer. Then came out and visited two of ours at their homes and phoned one (he stays down south).

We were told that can take up to 3 weeks from panel to get official letter from decision maker and that as soon as social work have that they would start officially looking for our match. Our sw wasn't at panel as ill so not sure if he is back yet or not.


----------



## Treaco

Hi girl

Oliver hope u hear from ur social worker soon.

Spoke to our social worker this morn as she phone to cancel today and is now coming Thursday morn but she told me they have even had the reference back from my lo's school which I didn't even know they had applied for. Hope she brings our discolsure forms with her to get them in.x


----------



## Diane71

Hi 

Can we say on here who our sw is. I'm through Glasgow council as nice as my sw is I don't think she is doing much for all as trying to speed things up.

I'm thinking bout calling and speaking to someone else but I'm worried it will slow things down.

We attended the info evening may this year and we havnt even done prep yet !!! We have done our medicals and our disclosures are done 

I'm i just being impatient ??

I'm waiting to go in to get my gallbladder removed and really would like to get the prep days out the way for October not even sure when the next one is in November 

I have emailed to ask what dates they are in nov but no reply as per normal 

It's so frustrating


----------



## crazyroychick

Diane I would call them, we are South Lanarkshire and we were mucked around at the beginning, we almost missed prep as SW forgot about us! I called to see if any dates and she called me back to say it was starting that night! Had I not called we would have had to wait months for next one! We then waited 2 months to be allocated for HS and every time I called we got a different story, hang in there, we got new SW for HS and she is just the best, has all been good since then xx


----------



## Starmaker73

I agree with crazyroychick, Diane.  I would call them too.  I actually got my SW changed after I was allocated and it worked out really well for me as my new SW is brilliant.


----------



## GERTIE179

Just to add a differing opinion - it's quite normal to wait 6montgs from info to prep and I see you've had disclosures & medicals already so HS will move quickly once you start. Glasgow have a heavier case load and are notoriously slower. If its an issue with SW then ask away but if you just want to be quicker then I say patience is required. I've know. Quite a few adopters and all waited a long time going through Glasgow (we didn't have the fastest time with our la but again all within standard for them).

Unfortunately Scotland doesn't have the new guidelines to work to but SSs are trying to improve with the resources they have. Glasgow have one of the highest child case rates across the uk I was told whilch makes child protection their priority even if that makes permance longer due to the processing time for adopters.

Sorry if you find this harsh but it's the reality.
X


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi everyone,

Thanks for that about references, Starmaker. How old is your dog? Getting him snipped should help, we had ours done at six months... but they didn't calm down until two, but only because they were still young!  

I haven't really got anything to add about waiting. All I know is that LA's do seem to be a little slower than VA's - although as Gertie says, this is probably because they have far more work to deal with, and child protection has to take priority. I know one LA close to us isn't running a prep group until the end of next year, so it seems to be the norm for there to be a large wait. Doesn't help you though, obviously. I hope things speed up for you soon.  

I hope everyone is well.


----------



## Starmaker73

He is 19months, twinkle toes, and I have just booked him in for the snip tomorrow. Fingers crossed it will calm down his bounciness.  He is great though and is only bouncy for the first 5 or 10 mins of someone new coming in.


----------



## Treaco

Hi girls

Diane I would call them won't do u any harm.

craziechick how exciting u've got a date for panel.

starmaker gd to hear u got a new social worker.

Gertie what stage r u at.

well our sw was out again this morn and that's the disclosure forms going in and we both have our medicals next Tuesday.  Sw is back out next Monday to spk to DH about his childhood and then out following wk to spk to me about the same.  Our SW seems to have alot of availability for appointments so hoping ou HS won't take too long.  We spoke to her today about our LO saying he wants a wee sister and a wee brother so she's going to ask about that.  She also said today she might go and spk to our Lo's school as they spoke very highly of us in the reference.

M xx


----------



## GERTIE179

Hi Treaco - I'm finished with stages as our lil man came home in January. (Well we might see stages again if we decide on a sibling :-D)


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Hi Ladies,

I received an e-mail today to say they got our application. They hope to allocate us our SW between 6-8 weeks. Hopefully it flies in.

Diane I would give them a call, it wouldn't do any harm x


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi guys, just checking to see how everyone is doing?

Treaco - How's the HS going?

Twinkletoes - Hope Prep is going well.

Diane - How did you get on?  Did you call the SW?

Oliver222 - Any sniff of a match yet?

AD - Any word on a SW yet?

Melanie - How was your first day of Prep?

Sorry if I have missed anyone.  If I have then I hope all is going ok with you.

AFM, I'm in limbo....nothing new there.   My SW wants to put the breaks on and said she is taking a break for a couple of months as the "process should take 6 months and i've nearly finished mine already".  My Form F is done, medicals done, home H&S done, pet questionnaire done, Disclosure done.  All that's left are the references, but yet my SW is talking about March or April panel.  I really frustrated!!  Aaaaaaaand breath!


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Hi hun,

No news here. They said it could be 6-8 weeks so I possibly have another 7 weeks to wait. 😱😱

Put the brakes on? Why! If you're finished, you're finished! Why can't she take you to panel? Argh that's frustrating!!! X


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi all,

Starmaker - I don't understand at all why they're making you wait, like AdoptionDreams says, if you're done, you're done. What benefit does waiting give you? Just because the average is 6months doesn't mean if you've done it in less time you should be penalised!  

We're at the same stage as you AdoptionDreams - waiting to be allocated our SW (even though we know who it'll be as she told us at prep group), and then start HS. They said there would be three weeks after sending out the forms before they's allocate and we could start HS. Silly me sent the forms back the next day and now I have 2.5 weeks to wait.  

I hope every one is well, and things are moving along as quickly as they can.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

We're praying to be allocated the SW that carried out our home visit - she wants us too but it just depends if they will allow her to take us on. I'm so excited about it. Just trying to keep busy until we get that call x


----------



## Melaniesunflower

Our first prep day went well, luckily it finished a little earlier than expected, partly due to it only being us and 2 other couples. Back on Sunday for a full day this time. Hopefully my brain won't shut down as quickly this time. We just need to do our homework......


----------



## oliver222

Got my letter from decision maker confirming that approved but not heard anything else. It's strange friend just found out that she is pregnant. I am really pleased for her but it got me thinking about the waiting. With a pregnancy you have a rough idea when you are going to get a baby but with adoption the phone could ring tomorrow or in two years. 
On a slightly more positive note my friend who has an adopted son met with his old foster carer last week and she was telling him that they have a real shortage of approved adopters on books. So fingers crossed.


----------



## Starmaker73

I have no clue what the benefits are of banging on the breaks.  I guess this is just part of the wonderful world of adoption.  

AD, sorry you're still waiting.  Patience is definitely something you learn during this process, you'll be a pro at it by the end of it.  Hope you don't have to wait too long Twinkletoes.

Wow that's a small prep group you have Melanie.  The was nice of them to finish up a bit early so that your brains didn't explode with all the info they give you.

Oliver, I hope you hear something soon.  Congratulations to your friend, and you're right she is lucky to have a due date, if only it was as easy for us adopters.


----------



## Melaniesunflower

They said they would normally have had more people, but didn't want to make any of us wait too long.  Also our groyp is run by 3 la and we're the only one from ours so fingers crossed that means we get allocated quickly. Quick question however. . I think I may know the senior sw of the team in another capacity, should I say something now?


----------



## Melaniesunflower

They said they would normally have had more people, but didn't want to make any of us wait too long.  Also our groyp is run by 3 la and we're the only one from ours so fingers crossed that means we get allocated quickly. Quick question however. . I think I may know the senior sw of the team in another capacity, should I say something now?


----------



## Starmaker73

Sorry Melanie, I can't help you with your question but I just didn't want to think I was ignoring you. Maybe ask people in the general adoption chat thread. Hope you get an answer from someone who has been in the same position.


----------



## Melaniesunflower

Worry was over nothing, she doesn't manage that part of the team so phew! Group down to 2 couples today as one of them didn't come today..... More sandwiches and cakes for the rest of us. Found today a bit heavy, I know they are trying to give you the worst case scenario, but did start to feel like they were trying to put you off a bit


----------



## Diane71

Hey Mel 

R u on bc as well ?? If u are I put a post on a thread...

When did u start the process and what age group u hoping for ??

Diane


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Diana are you any further forward?


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi everyone,

Just dropping by to see how everyone is?

We've been allocated our SW and start HS next week.  

Melaniesunflower - I know how you feel. I had moments where I felt the same. Especially during the keeping ourselves safe and our duty of care bit - they made it sound like you'd never be able to hug the child! But hearing the couple who'd adopted and the foster carer speak refocussed me onto what the reality is. I think the SW's have to cover all eventualities and so it can come across as quite overwhelming. I hope you're feeling a bit more upbeat now?

I hope everyone is well.


----------



## Starmaker73

Yaaaay Twinkletoes. Let the good stuff begin. Good luck!


----------



## oliver222

Good news that hs starting twinkletoes.

No news for me whatsoever. Not heard a thing from sw since panel over 4 weeks a go. The waiting is very difficult.


----------



## Starmaker73

Oooooh Oliver that must be so hard.  I'm really not looking forward to that bit.  Do you have a follow up meeting to come or something, or will she only contact you if she has a match for you to look at?


----------



## AdoptionDreams

oliver222 said:


> Good news that hs starting twinkletoes.
> 
> No news for me whatsoever. Not heard a thing from sw since panel over 4 weeks a go. The waiting is very difficult.


Ouch Oliver I am dreading that part. How long are you giving them before calling? X


----------



## Diane71

Hi everyone 

Well we r no further forward have missed the prep course for this month !!!!! 

I have asked my sw what dates are they for nov so I can prov booked them off at work but heard nothing back !!! 

Was wondering can u foster while going through the adoption process ? Was just thinking bout try to get so e experience behind us as we don't have any children of our own


----------



## oliver222

AdoptionDreams said:


> oliver222 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Good news that hs starting twinkletoes.
> 
> No news for me whatsoever. Not heard a thing from sw since panel over 4 weeks a go. The waiting is very difficult.
> 
> 
> 
> Ouch Oliver I am dreading that part. How long are you giving them before calling? X
Click to expand...

Going to send sw an email at start of week as not even sure if back at work after being off ill. So have not spoke to him since before panel.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Oliver - Good idea. SW called me this morning to double check I had sent our application back, luckily they found it with all my other paperwork. Let's hope the fact they're querying it means they're looking to allocate us a SW soon. 

Diane - that's disappointing you missed Octobers prep I'm really hoping you get into the Nov group. I don't think they would consider allowing you to foster for experience. Similar checks and assessments need to be done so I would suggest holding off for Adoption. It won't hurt to ask them though xx


----------



## Diane71

Evening all. 

How is everyone progressing ?? 

I'm totally fed up with my sw and I hope we get a new one, not sure if she will be with us for the hope process but I hope not.....  

Wee update they finally got my partners disclosure nearly 2 weeks ago as my sw called and told me I though hey brill what next I ask myself  She says because there is an offence on his from nearly 20 years ago that her team leader MIGHT want to speak to him. And she will be in touch. So as she has already told me to stop being so anxious I though I would wait til she gets in touch with us !!!! So  I left it a week lol I heard nothing so I emailed her asking if there was an update as we r keen to get on the nov prep group in November and I'm also awaiting to get my gallbladder operation so I'm hoping to get the prep done first....she has know bout this since may !!! 
After not sharing back again for over a week I email her again yesterday as I have not got a date for my operation on the 26 nov..... She finally reply that her team leader would like to meet us next Monday to go over things i.e as to why grant didn't volunteer this info which was nearly 20 years ago I told her that he forgot all bout it which he did. 
And she mentioned our weight again !!! 

I don't think she wants us to proceed to the next stage and I'm getting stressed out I think Monday I will end up telling her what I think of her.... 

Is there a chance that we r not going to be able to adopt ?? We r good people who have worked all our lives we don't smoke don't do drugs, ok we could be doing with maybe losing a stone or so but who isn't over weight 
We just want to have our wee family which I know we deserve and can be good parents. These sw r playing with our lives and future 

I feel like we should be further along by now !!! We attended the info in May this year 
Am I getting myself in a state for nothing  

Sorry for the rant xx


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Who is your SW? Does she have much experience? X


----------



## Starmaker73

Oh dear Diane, that is frustrating.  The SW who came to see me for my initial visit is not the same SW I got assigned for my HS.  Hopefully it will be the same for you.  Rant away, that's what we are here for btw.

As for the meeting on Monday, I hope everything goes ok.  I know it's hard but try not to think the worse before you hear what the have to say.  However, once you are in there and feel like things aren't going your way then make sure you stand up for yourself......without snapping. 

Good luck, i'm sure they just want to make sure everything is on the table (from your side and theirs) before they move you onto the next step. 

Oh and about the timescale, I wouldn't worry about it.  I had 6 months between my initial home meeting and Prep and didn't hear a peep out of the LA in that time.


----------



## Diane71

Hiya

Not sure what experience she has, maybe I should ask as she is going to know everything bout us lol


----------



## GERTIE179

Hi All,

Just wanted to offer Diane some reassurance & hugs. This process tests us and yes we do need to chase all the time but sometimes the SWs do put some early barriers in the way. The reason - it costs lots to assess & prep couples for panel so they only want those fully committed. I would nod, discuss and out the issues to bed to progress to next stage. Don't get too caught up in it being personal (unless you really don't gel during HS) and remember they might be in your way to you getting your family but 1. They are out your lives soon enough & 2. You might come across them in future for getting help for LO or for a sibling.

But definitely vent as only those who've tread these paths get how beuracratic (sp?) it all is.

HTH and I still remember the Grrr feelings and how slow everything was but it truly disappears when you have your angel/devils at home. Ps I'm not a SW and survived only by keeping the mantra - eyes on the prize lol
X


----------



## Diane71

Hi gertie 

Thank you for ur words of wisdom as always u make sense and calm me down  

I'm just terrified that forever what reason we get rejected I guess I assumed we would have been and done prep by now and because I now have a date for my operation and just want to get to the next stage. When we get to the next stage I think I will start to relax lol


----------



## Diane71

Hiya

Is there any questions I could be asking on Monday ?? As seen as I have the team leader there I should make the most of it lol


----------



## Diane71

Hi hope everyone is well

As u may no we have a meeting with our sw and her team leader on Monday I'm so worried and scared that they r going to tell us that we can't adopt because grant hadn't told them bout something that came back on his disclosure from 1996 !!! He had forgotten all bout it and was surprised that it was still on it !!! 

It was a hammer shaft that was found in his car on a random car stop/search by the police but it was for work anyway... So because of that it says it's on his disclosure and he was fined a £100 

There was nothing else on it. But grant had told sw that he had a fine also for speeding twice when he was 18 years old !!! 

Surely they won't say we can't move forward because of this 

And I think they will mention our weight I have lost over a stone since may but I'm stuck at the same weight now lol 

Grant is overweight but we r both active eat well and exercise and his weight has been the same for years 

I hope I'm stressing over nothing and I pray that they say we can go on the prep days in November


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Diane, how did today go? I've been thinking of you x


----------



## Diane71

Hey evening all 

We had our meeting with our sw and her manager and it was fine fine fine.

Just wanted to go the stuff on partners disclosure and she also mention the weight which we knew she would but the sw did comment on how I had lost weight since last time  

So we all had a good wee chat and they r happy for us to attend the prep in dec we could have gone to the one in November but as I have my op I will need to miss that one.

So all in all both happy and excited but very aware that we both need to lose weight.   

How is everyone else ??


----------



## crazyroychick

That's amazing Diane, great news xx

We got to see our form F today, team leader coming to meet us tomorrow and all go for panel 2 weeks on thurs x

How's everyone else? X


----------



## GERTIE179

Glad it went well Diane - good luck for your op & having a prep date in sight.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Woo hoo Diane that's fantastic!!! X


----------



## Diane71

Hey adoption dreams 

U got any updates ? As u have already done the prep days in Glasgow can u give me any hints and tips? 

Is there any stuff we can maybe get started on so we can be organised 

I'm so excited lol x


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi guys, sorry I've been AWOL from here.  I've been active on the SAP thread though unfortunately...but more on that later.

Diane - Great news that everything went well with the meeting.  Dec isn't too long to wait, the weeks will fly by.  Good luck for your op.

Crazyroychick - How did the meeting go with the Team Leader today?  Glad you finally got to read your Form F.  Were you happy with it?

Adoptiondreams - Still waiting?  That 6-8 wks feels like it's dragging.   Are you doing your family tree, etc to keep you busy while you wait?

Gertie - 

Hope everyone else is doing well and just plodding along nicely with your journey.

AFM, I am in a whole new kind of limbo.   My HS is more or less finished and my SW is talking a 'bit of a break' before she puts me to Panel at some point next year.  However, I have just been told that I will be getting made redundant by March 2014 (the company is closing) so that's obviously put a major spanner in the works.    I haven't mentioned anything to my SW yet as I am trying to find out whether I can afford to carry on or whether I will need to pull out.  The CAB were most unhelpful and were telling me I'd be entitled to Working Tax Credits and SAP (ummmm no I wouldn't cause I would be unemployed).  So now I'm going to see my local benefits agency to see if they can give me any more info.  Feeling so disheartened.


----------



## Diane71

Hey star maker 

That's a shame bout work will u get any redundancy pay ??

Why is sw taking a break with u ? Surely u want to get everything done ASAP the sooner u finish the sooner u get ur son/daughter 

I was wondering if anyone that has attended the glasgoe prep can give me any info on what we will be doing and also is there anything we can start just now to have ready for prep ? 

Anyone else got any new or updates ?


----------



## crazyroychick

Aw Starmaker that totally sucks, really praying you get some good news and are able to continue, maybe the delay in taking you to panel will help you maybe get another job or get sorted? Big    And remember we are all here if you need to chat xx

Meeting with team leader went really well, really happy with our form F just getting seriously nervous about panel now, found out today there are 8 people on panel and minute taker plus possibly trainee panel members scary! Xx


----------



## Treaco

Hi girls sorry not been posting much, just had alot on.

Diane that's gd u r going to prep in December, there's not alot to do for prep, there will be yourselves and some other couples and u'll get alot of information and some group work. We really enjoyed prep.

Starmaker that's not gd about ur job, will u be able to get another job. Not gd on the stat pay side of things.

Crazychick glad u got to c ur form, panel will be here before u know it.

Hope all is well with rest of u.

Things going ok with us, sw was supposed to be coming out Thursday but has had to cancel and is now coming next Friday which is probably better as she has gave us quite alot of things to do and next wk she is going to have a wee chat with Jamie(our 7yr old) and let him show her his room etc as he's feeling a wee bit left out of it all so far. I spoke to her yesterday and she said to me we're getting there so hopefully it will continue like that.

M x


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Hi everyone, I hope you're all well 😄

Diane - you don't need to prepare anything for prep, just be yourself and the rest will flow. DH and I loved prep and we met such a great bunch of ppl, in fact we're all meeting up for lunch on Saturday. It will be great seeing them all again - July seems that long ago now!

Starmaker I'm so sorry to hear about your job I really hope you get something else quickly. It would be so disappointing to withdraw at this stage - esp after all you've been through to get here. Maybe a trip to citizens advice to see if your entitled to any help or support.

Crazyrockchick - what can I say to you? Lol. You know how excited I am for you. The 14th is ALMOST here.

AFM - well the 6-8 weeks is fast approaching, I'm really hoping to get some good news over the next week or so about starting home study & being allocated our worker. I'm really hoping we get the SW that carried out our initial interview. She was lovely and the 3 of us really hit it off!  Tonight I'm making a start on typing up my 'life story'. I have already typed my life chronology so I will use that as a basis and turn it into story based. It's lots of work but I'm hoping all this prep will pay off & it makes our home study a more enjoyable experience.

Much love ❤❤ x


----------



## Starmaker73

Thank you all for all your support and concern, ladies.  I love this site and get a lot of comfort from it.  Thank you!!

Diane - Yes, I will get redundancy pay and will also be entitled to benefits (for the first time in my life).  I have a meeting with my SW on Monday to discuss it all as I don't even know if you can adopt whilst unemployed.  We are on a 'bit of a break' because I was told the HS should take 6 months and mine has only taken 2 months and that's too quick.  It's all to do with targets, paperwork and red tape I think.

Crazyroychick - Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.  If I can go forward with the adoption then I can't look for another job as I would be starting it in April and then if I get matched right after it i'd be leaving them in the lurch for a year.  I am self employed too so would just continue with that from redundancy to matching.  So glad you were happy with your Form F, and that your meeting went well.  Such an exciting time for you.  I can't wait for that big fat yes at Panel!!!

Treaco - Wishing you well with your next visit and hope that your son enjoys spending time with the SW to make him feel more part of the whole process.  Is he excited at the prospect of having a new little brother or sister?

Adoptiondreams - I've been to the CAB, they are useless. LOL!  Told me I'd be entitled to all kinds of things that I knew I wouldn't be.  But after a few phone calls to different benefit agencies I think I now have all the correct info.  Keep up all the good work with the homework.  It will all help once you finally get started with the HS.


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi everyone!

Starmaker - I am so sorry about your job. I know at our prep group one of the social workers said that unemployment and benefits isn't a barrier to adoption, so long as you can show that you could support a child etc. Good luck for Monday, I really hope you get some positive news. 

Crazyroychick - two weeks to go! You must be super excited!

Treaco - I hope your little boy enjoys talking to the SW next week. 

Adoption Dreams - I have been doing my homework this week too. I found it a lot harder than I had expected.

AFM - We had our first SW HS visit last week, and she's coming again next week. She gave us a load of homework to do, which I have done, but I am now worrying that I have done too much….  

I hope everyone is well, and things are all going to plan. Have a nice weekend!


----------



## Starmaker73

Thanks for the support Twinkletoes hopefully, as you say, the job thing shouldn't be an issue. And Yaaaaay for your HS finally starting.  Let the games begin.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

I FINALLY have some good news to share.  We have been allocated our SW and HS starts next Thursday. I'm so excited that we are finally moving forward.  What a day. Today would have been our due date if I hadn't miscarried, I woke up this morning with a heavy heart. Then I realised that this morning kicked of Adoption Week and THEN our phone call arrived this afternoon. God certainly had a plan for us! ❤❤❤ XxX Sorry about the me post!! X


----------



## Starmaker73

That's fabulous news AD.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

I'm so excited!!!


----------



## Starmaker73

Just wanted to add a little 'me' post.  Told my SW about the redundancy today and she didn't bat an eyelid. She said as long as I can prove that I am/will be financially secure enough to support me and a child then it doesn't matter.  Wow, what a relief.  So that was my last visit today she said.  Still no date for panel though, so told me to 'leave it with her', think she is aiming for Jan or Feb.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Yay!! That's fantastic - a great day all round xx


----------



## Starmaker73

Yup.  And next Thu will be here before you know it.....or at least I hope it will cause I fly off on holiday a week on Wed.


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Lol I hope so. I'm really hoping we can squeeze a few sessions in before Christmas x


----------



## oliver222

Fantastic news. Glad your wait wasnt too long.


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi all,

I hope everyone is OK?

Starmaker - that's fantastic news about your SW's reaction! I bet you're feeling relieved now? Jan/Feb panel will be here in no time too! I hope you're going somewhere nice for your holiday!

Adoption Dreams - excellent news on being allocated a SW! Good luck for Thursday!

We had our medicals today - no massive issues other than a height ruler screwed to the wall 3" below where it should be, I've posted a new topic so I won't bore you with it all here. Our SW is out again on Friday, so we can hand over our homework, medicals and completed DBS forms.

I hope everyone is enjoying bonfire night.


----------



## Starmaker73

Hi Twinkletoes, yeah it was a big weight off my mind, I can go enjoy my holiday now.  Heading to New York to visit my best friend so making the most of it as it will probably be my last trip there for a while.  

That's very annoying about the 3 inches.....3 inches is a LOT and it will give you a false reading on your BMI.  I hope you are going to mention it to you SW.


----------



## twinkletoes13

Hi Starmaker,

Wow! New York sounds fab! It's currently the top of our list for our last holiday as just the two of us - great minds eh?!

The BMI issue is what I've posted about. DH is a big guy - really broad shoulders etc. and so his BMI doesn't really match the way he looks if that makes sense, but the loss of 3" from his height has added 3.5 points onto his BMI which makes it really high. He's worried if we speak to the GP it makes us sound petty, but I think it's quite a big thing - how many other people have been told they're overweight etc because of their dodgy ruler?! I'm definitely going to mention it to the SW - she can measure us so she can see that we're right.

My medical was perfect (we've had them done early because I have a long medical history), and all this has taken the shine off it - I was hoping to bask in the glory of my good health!  

Thanks for replying - you've echoed they way I feel so I know I'm not over reacting!


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## Starmaker73

You can still bask in the glory of your perfect health as the one thing wrong was the doctor's mistake.   That's interesting that you are handing back all your forms to her, mine all had to get sent off to different depts, SW never came into it.  I amuses me how every LA seems to do things differently.  

Good luck with the NY planning.  I am lucky enough to visit several times a year as I stay with my friend, but this trip will be bitter sweet.  It will be the last time I will see her and visit the city in a long while.....but the reason I will be staying at home will be 100% worth it.


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## twinkletoes13

Hi Starmaker,

My normal health smugness has bitten me on the bum today - I woke up full of cold.   We've been to the surgery and explained to the receptionist about the height thing, she clearly didn't believe us but relented and made appointments with the nurse on Friday morning for us to both be re-measured. Our SW is coming to see us on Friday morning too, so I hope we get it all done in time. 

It is really odd that they all do things differently. We both have our completed medical forms and hand them to the SW, who will then pass them to the agency's medical advisor. Our GP commented on how detailed the medical was - he said they were more detailed than the one required for a pilot's license!   

I hope you have a lovely time in New York - it will be bittersweet, but like you say, it'll be worth it!


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## Starmaker73

Glad you got it sorted, or are at least in the process of getting it sorted.  My doc commented on the medical form too, she thought the whole thing was utterly ridiculous and made no secret of it.


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## Starmaker73

Oliver22, have you heard anything yet?  Has your SW at least been in touch.  Was just thinking about you today and wondered if you were still in limbo land.


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## oliver222

Starmaker73 said:


> Oliver22, have you heard anything yet? Has your SW at least been in touch. Was just thinking about you today and wondered if you were still in limbo land.


I emailed sw on 24th oct. Just saying hi hope you are well and back at work kind of thing (as still wasn't sure if back). Got email back on 30th saying, yes I am back will catch up soon. That has been only contact since panel which was 8 weeks ago. 
It is very frustrating. Going to send an email in a couple of weeks if haven't heard anything asking to meet as will be getting near to 3 months after approval and want to go on National register.


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## Starmaker73

Oh flippin' heck, how frustrating.  I'd be tearing my hair out my now.  You don't mind so much if they are regularly keeping in touch but just haven't found your LO yet, but to just say they will catch up soon and then......nothing!  How annoying.  Keep your chin up and I hope you hear something soon.


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## Diane71

Hi Oliver 

Why is it taken so long ? And what the national register ?? 

Hope u here something soon I would email again at the end of next week


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## twinkletoes13

Gosh, Oliver, that is frustrating! I'd be like Starmaker, and tearing my hair out. I hope they get in touch soon. Just weekly contact to let you know they're aware you're still waiting would go a long way to making you less frustrated.   

We got our height and BMI's more or less sorted out. The alternative measure was still a couple of cm off, but it's close enough. I can't believe we're the first to have raised it with them!

We had another HS visit yesterday - bit of a weird one. She wanted us to look through an old copy of Children Who Wait and point out any LO's who stood out. There were a couple I would have like to have known about, but none jumped out at us. It's made me worried that when the time comes it might be the same, and we don't instinctively react to profiles. I also don't really understand why she wanted us to do it. She kept reminding us to see through the social services waffle and try to see what they were trying not to say. If she'd just told us why we were doing it I might have been able to see how it was useful, but it's just left me feeling a bit confused. Has anyone else had to do this?

We've always said that when it comes to finding a LO for us, we don't want to be involved, and would rather our SW did it for us, just because I feel really uncomfortable with the CWW type thing (I know it works for lots of people, but I don't think it does for us), and I would worry that I was picking kids for the wrong reasons, rather than finding the best match.

Sorry this is a bit waffly. I am full of cold and just a bit deflated after yesterday. 

I hope everyone else is well - have a nice weekend!


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## GERTIE179

Hey all :-D

Diane - the national register is a Scotland wide register introduced around 2011/12 and basic details of you & your criteria are able to be matched with children who meet those criteria ie age and health and contact considerations. It's to help matches better rather than the old consortiums (although they still exist).

Oliver - I'm afraid the was similar to us. We found it best to have a meet with SW about 6weeks after panel and agree communications going forward. Even a no news email once every 5 weeks or so worked for us. SWs workloads normally mean that there's stuff going on behind the scenes but it can also be that approved adopters fall down the priority list slightly too - unfair as it is. 

Twinkle toes - it's common for SWs to do this as it helps discussions. Criteria us wide and thus it helps the SW understand you especially if you are wanting them to preselected profiles for you. There is a lit if subtext in profiles and this is especially good to start thinking about before approval. I spent a lot if time looking at CWW pre approval as it really helped post approval to be clear on wishes.

HTH x


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## Starmaker73

Wow Twinkle Toes, I've not had to do anything like that during my HS and I must say I am glad about that. I'm not sure how I'd feel about having to do that in front of my SW, it's different just browsing through those sites on your own. I wouldn't worry about no profiles really jumping out at you, I firmly believe everyone's LO is out there for them and yours just wasn't on this site at this particular time. . Hope your cold gets better soon.


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## Treaco

Hi Girls

Twinkletoes we haven't had to do anything(or any mention of that) during our hs. Glad you got your medicals sorted out.

Oliver it does seem as if your sw isn't doing very well at keeping in touch, I would be phoning to chase her up.

Starmaker enjoy NY and glad sw was ok about the redundancy.

Adoptiondreams won't be long till your first sw visit now.

Diane not long till your operation and prep.

Hope everyone else is ok.

We had to cancel sw last Friday as DH shift got changed but she was great about it and has even offered to come late this wednesday at 5 so she can see us for a while while ds is at badminton and then see him wen he finishes at 6.  Also gives us more time to finish all the forms she has given us to do.  I just feel just now it's never ending forms and homework and some of it covers things already covered in person but they need it down in writing from you.  DH was a bit fed up with how much they go into your personal life right from birth and even about previous relationships(we've been together 14yrs) even though there is no kids involved and we don't see the people.
My son just keeps telling everyone now he is getting a little sister and people who don't know are just looking at me when I don't say anything.

Michelle x


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## AdoptionDreams

Treaco said:


> Hi Girls
> 
> Twinkletoes we haven't had to do anything(or any mention of that) during our hs. Glad you got your medicals sorted out.
> 
> Oliver it does seem as if your sw isn't doing very well at keeping in touch, I would be phoning to chase her up.
> 
> Starmaker enjoy NY and glad sw was ok about the redundancy.
> 
> Adoptiondreams won't be long till your first sw visit now.
> 
> Diane not long till your operation and prep.
> 
> Hope everyone else is ok.
> 
> We had to cancel sw last Friday as DH shift got changed but she was great about it and has even offered to come late this wednesday at 5 so she can see us for a while while ds is at badminton and then see him wen he finishes at 6. Also gives us more time to finish all the forms she has given us to do. I just feel just now it's never ending forms and homework and some of it covers things already covered in person but they need it down in writing from you. DH was a bit fed up with how much they go into your personal life right from birth and even about previous relationships(we've been together 14yrs) even though there is no kids involved and we don't see the people.
> My son just keeps telling everyone now he is getting a little sister and people who don't know are just looking at me when I don't say anything.
> 
> Michelle x


Hi,

Yes I'm getting excited - only 4 more days. DH is finishing his life story today. I'm just going to print off all the homework we've already done - I will give her it away in a file. I need to finish the family tree - must get that done today. I'm so thankful we have been picked up so quickly. I've not told anyone from prep group which I feel really bad about - we seem to be further ahead than the rest. We only started this process in May. Obv I'm delighted and hoping this is our final Christmas alone.

When are you hoping to reach panel?

Your son seems very excited about it which is wonderful news x


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## Diane71

Hi thank you Michelle 

Yuz all seem really busy with homework etc 

I just wish there was stuff I could be getting on with as my operation is on 26 November but I could be off work 4 to 6 weeks 

My prep is on 2 Fridays in dec I will need to get the dates confirmed 

What is the next stage after prep ??


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## twinkletoes13

Hi all,

Thanks everyone for your comments about the CWW. I am glad I'm not alone in being a bit thrown by it. I really don't mind reading things like that in private, and they are good for giving an indication of what to expect when our time comes, it just came out of the blue and I felt a bit under pressure. 

Diane - I am not sure what the next stage for you will be, have you done all your checks and homework etc? Our agency don't seem to do things in stages so I don't have much advice, sorry.  

Treaco - it's really good that your SW is so flexible with you, and that your little boy is excited.  

Adoption Dreams - we've been in touch briefly with two couples from our prep group, I think it's best to wait until everyone is quite a way through so it saves on people worrying about not being as far through etc. I know we heard from one couple just after our second HS visit, and they'd not even heard back after their application. I would have been worried sick if it'd been the other way around.  

Crazyroychick - just incase I am not on again before your panel date, GOOD LUCK!!!!  

I hope everyone is well.


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## Diane71

Hi twinkle toes

Our next step is prep days which r in dec, we have had our medicals and disclosures done 


So I don't think there is anything else I can do... Unless there is stuff I can do to get ahead for the stage after prep


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## crazyroychick

Hello everyone, sorry for me post but am a total wreck, less than 24hrs and we will know if we are approved or not, NERVOUS wreck!     Xx


How's everyone else? Adoption Dreams good luck tomorrow xx


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## AdoptionDreams

Good luck hun!!!

Sitting here waiting on our SW arriving to start our home study. My tummy is in knots - I'm SO nervous !!!!! X


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## crazyroychick

You'll be great just relax and enjoy xx


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## GERTIE179

Good luck Crazyroychick ;-)
Adoption Dreams - hope it went well x


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## AdoptionDreams

Well 2.5 hours later and our 1st home study session is over. It went very well - our Social Worker is so lovely. Just mention it taking approx 10-14 visits. She said they advise it to be around 6 months from now until panel - so she really gets to know us well. She also said we're very organised so it could be quicker. I think she's just preparing us incase it takes a little longer. We have another 2 dates in the diary before Christmas - yay!! I'm feeling very excited xx


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## crazyroychick

Adoption dreams, amazing news it will fly by xx

Big fat YES for us, so relieved that's over! Xx

Hello to everyone else will catch up properly tomorrow away for some champers just now xx


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## GERTIE179

Congrats Crazyroychick - enjoy the bubbles & the elation x


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## Diane71

Crazyroychick and adoption dreams what an exciting day for u both 

Congrats both and well done


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## Diane71

Hey Crazyroychick 

Was just wondering what age group r u going for ?? And do they give you an idea when u will get matched with a lo ?? 

Hope it's soon for you xx


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## crazyroychick

Approved for 0-4, so excited! Hopefully won't wait for long, panel said enjoy your time alone as it won't last long then she corrected herself and said I mean you may wait a while?? Not sure if something going on in background x


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## oliver222

Congrats crazyroychick hopefully you wont be waiting too long


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## oliver222

AdoptionDreams said:


> Well 2.5 hours later and our 1st home study session is over. It went very well - our Social Worker is so lovely. Just mention it taking approx 10-14 visits. She said they advise it to be around 6 months from now until panel - so she really gets to know us well. She also said we're very organised so it could be quicker. I think she's just preparing us incase it takes a little longer. We have another 2 dates in the diary before Christmas - yay!! I'm feeling very excited xx


Yay glad your 1st hs went well. Hope it flies in for you.


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## Treaco

Great news crazychick, hope u don't wait too long.

Adoption dreams glad first visit is over and went well.

Diane and Starmaker how u both doing.

Oliver any news from sw.

Our sw was out yesterday and visit went well and she spent about 20mins with ds which he enjoyed and said she will c him again not on nxt visit but one after that.  I just feel as if we constantly seem to be doing homework, it seems never ending.  She did talk about panel, asking if we had been told much about it and did say when we get to panel so seems positive about it all.  Said she asked ds about a brother again and again he again said def no def wants a sister so she's happy to go with that.xx


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## Starmaker73

Ahhhh quick reply all way from New York (jeez it's cold over here) but had to come on to see how you got on crazyroychick. CONGRATULATIONS!!!  Woohoo!!


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## crazyroychick

Thank you, how's New York? Still hasn't properly sunk in! Xx

Hello to everyone else x


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## Diane71

Hey how is everyone doing ?

Oliver have u heard anything have u emailed them ? 

Not much happening with me just looking forward to prep in dec and I hope I'm well enough for it as I have my operation it get my gallbladder removed 10 days before it.


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## Diane71

Hey ladies and gents it's gone very quiet on here

How is everyone I think most of yuz are doing home start 

How's it all going ??

I start prep this month yee ha last 2 Fridays in jan 

Nice to get a wee update from peeps

Xx


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## crazyroychick

Hey everyone, how are you all? Xx

Well I am still in shock, got phone all at 6pm last night to say we have been linked to a 2yr old wee boy, our SW is coming on Monday to show us his profile and tell us all about him! I really hope this our wee prince        xx


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## daisy0609

Wow good luck crazyrockchick! I know how ur feeling we have been matched to an 18 month pink and have a meeting with our SW tomorrow as she has had a meeting with her SW today half 4 tomorrow can't come quick enough so that we can find out more xx


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## crazyroychick

How was your meeting Daisy? X


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## Treaco

Hi Girls

crazychick exciting times for u, hope it goes well.

daisy how did ur meeting go today.

diane not long till prep now.

hope the rest of you are doing ok and things r moving on.

Things with us seem to be moving but it just seems to take forever and is constant paperwork/homework. Social worker going to do referee visits soon and looking at panel April/May which I suppose isn't that far off.  She said yesterday that her TL is going to come out for the 2nd opinion visit in February so a bit nervous about that, hope she's ok.

Michelle xx


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## daisy0609

Visit went fab meeting the paediatrician on mon the foster carer on fri her SW nxt wed and MP is booked for the 13th of feb which took me a bit by surprise really but means she should be home beg of march time. 
Apr/May time will fly in, we just tried to fill in the waiting time by planning things.
Hope you are a all ok. Crazyrockchick when's ur meeting?xx


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## crazyroychick

Aw that's amazing Daisy xx

Treaco, it will fly by xx

Our meeting is Mon just with our SW just now to find out more, only know name and age just now xx


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## Diane71

Hey Crazyroychick

How's things ? 

We have prep 2 Moro 

Df is pretty nervous bout talking in public and doing group activities and home work lol

This is going to be fun 

Anyone any tip 
D x


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## AdoptionDreams

Hello everyone,

Hope you are all well. We have another session with our SW tomorrow. Our parents are getting interviewed next week. Any ideas what they will ask our parents?

Diane has was prep? 

X


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## oliver222

AdoptionDreams said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> Hope you are all well. We have another session with our SW tomorrow. Our parents are getting interviewed next week. Any ideas what they will ask our parents?
> 
> Diane has was prep?
> 
> X


Hope your session goes well tomorrow. Our parents were not spoken to so no idea what they will ask. Are they your referees? We had 3 referees spoken to. A joint one by phone, a joint one in person and family member in person.


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## GERTIE179

Hi Adoption Dreams,

Both our parents were interviewed (?!?) but SW was quite light in questioning. Some if it was factual ie how long had we known each other, what were we like as a couple?, how do we cope with stress. Then more on how the parents feel about our adopting, would they welcome a child. Did they understand modern adoptions more open and not a newborn like history. 

Both parents were nervous but they did well and our SW loved meeting them.
Good luck x


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## AdoptionDreams

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've not been on much - I've been so tired lately.  SW interviewed both sets of parents today (5 hours in total). It went really well and sounds like our parents learnt quite a bit about the adoption process. Our SW even called me to give us a little update after each visit. She is so good at her job, we're lucky to have her.

I have my 1:1 session next week and DH has his the following week. SW also want to interview my best friend so I need to arrange that ASAP too. I've found this process to be both enjoyable and exhausting at the same time. I just keep thinking about the end goal. All this will be worth it in the end when we bring our LO home forever.

9 weeks and counting until approval panel.

How are you all? Xx


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## DeeDee 1972

Hi my partner and I are considering Adoption after 4 years of IVF. Does anyone have any information about Aberdeen or the North East of Scotland regarding adoption?


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## GERTIE179

Hi DeeDee,

It's not my area but what info are you looking for? Most of Scotland works similar but all do things in slightly different order (and even SWs in same agencies). There's less VAs in Scotland but there are some who get very good feedback as they centre on the adopters and work with LAs to place children who are under the FC care of the LA.

I've met SWs from Dundee LA & Aberdeen CC and found them very approachable.

Hopefully others can give you info about specific agencies you are interested in but happy to help if you have general Scotland questions.
X


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## weemoofrazz

Hi DeeDee were in that local so PM me and I'll see if I can help you with some LA specific information.


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## Diane71

Hiya all 

Anyone on hear gone through barnardos or st magarets in Glasgow ??


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## misstattoo

Hi to all, 
Me and partner are away to begin adoption process, I'm really nervous, worried I won't be suitable....I've been reading the posts and have seen lots of positive comments, has anyone got any experience with adoption through Fife Council?


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## PixieMcG

Not with fife but we are starting assessment through Glasgow 

X


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## mrszetti

Hi everyone

I am glasgow LA and just coming to the end of my hs,  Sw hoping we will be going to panel in march xx


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## PixieMcG

Our wait was over a year since we applied, only just starting home assessments.  Our SW did say it would be about 6 months before panel.  Glasgow just seems so long compared to other areas.


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## mrszetti

Yeah pixieMcG we r exactly 6 months.  It goes really quickly though we can't believe we have panel in march. glasgow r really slow I think it is scotland in general. England seems really quick a lot of posts I have read have been matched within a year of enquiring xx


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## PixieMcG

We're just going through our background from birth. How many sessions do they spend on this topic? What things do they cover? What sort of financials do they cover?


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## mrszetti

I am not 100% but I am sure it was 2 weeks then we done our one to ones, mine lasted 3 visits and dh was 2 weeks. By financial do u mean your income, if so that is what we r covering next week, wage slips etc xx


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## PixieMcG

Oh that's great. Our SW only comes once every two weeks. She hasn't mentioned when we do things or what's expected.  Do you have to give them bank statements too?


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## mrszetti

Our sw said last week if we have on line banking he will just have a look at that, if not wage slips and bank statement would be needed xx


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## PixieMcG

That's not too bad then. Wasn't sure how much they needed as we don't get wage slips or bank statements, everything's done online.


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