# i need some advice ladies



## CazzAngel (Feb 23, 2014)

Hi ladies. I need your advice please.
I'm thinking off starting an IUI cycle in Jan/feb time and wondering if its too soon after losing my darling little boy in may this year to him having fetal acraina.
My heart is saying yes do it but then im thinking people are going to judge me and think ive forgot about Elijah.
I've came on here to ask you ladies for some friendly advice as you all know how im feeling.

Elijah was through IVF and with a donor.
Now im single as my bf and i split up after we lost Elijah. I  wanted to use IUI as a cheaper option and try once more but was wondering if it was less stressful than IVF or just the same kind of thing.

I have an an appointment availablefor when im ready but just thought you ladies could give me some advice before I make it, as I dont know if it will be too soon  

Thanks ladies.


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## Kim01 (Aug 14, 2012)

Hi cazzangel
so sorry for your loss. I too loss my little girl recently. I don't how to take your pain away but to let you know that I know what you are going through. Losing your baby and your bf did a runner. A double blow.

I don't know much about iui. My daughter was through donor ivf. If you feel ready to try again then by all means do so. Don't worry about what others think. You are not replacing your son. You are try for a family a sibling for your angel son. Lots of solo mums out there. You have an advantage - age is on your side.

If you are definately going to try in Jan/feb then get your body healthy. Eat well and sleep well. Go out to see friends etc. A healthy mind and body helps.  Some days you may ferl awful-just want to curl up into a ball and don't want to get out of bed.  This is normal and it is allowed. On a good day -please go out and enjoy yourself.  

I go through this pattern most of the time. I function best by having a plan, it helps me to focus. I already make plan to cycle again after Christmas. In the mean time I try to get my body healthy: making fertility smoothies, eat healthily, doing gentle pelvic and core exercises to strengthen muscles down below. Mentally - I just follow my mood and do things to make me feel better.
wish you all the best


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## CazzAngel (Feb 23, 2014)

Hi Kim,
Thank you for the reply.
Sorry to hear about your loss too.
My bf and I are still very close as best friends, it was a mutal choice to split as we think we are better as friends and are still there for each other but just not in a relationship.

I am wanting to go it alone now as I have signs of early menopause in the fertilty area and dont want to wait for it to get worse and be left in a future of not at least giving myself the oppourtinty to at least one more try before its too late.

I really am thinking that next year will be better for me and to proceed with the IUI and see how it goes.
All I needed was reassurance that it won't be too soon.... .so thank you for putting my mind at ease


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## joiedevivre (Dec 16, 2013)

Hi CazzAngel,
All my  s for the lost of your little one.  I agree with what Kim said-- you really just have to follow your heart and gut and do what's best for you, forget what you might hear from others, friends or family, even your ex.  We wanted to start right after losing our first at 8 weeks (by IUI) and were quite annoyed when the docs advised us to wait at least a full cycle. You will never forget your losses.  All the best to you!


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