# Do people really care?



## catt (Mar 27, 2007)

Another BFN. Worse because I started bleeding before test day and I don't even have regular periods. How ironic. How nasty. I don't believe anymore that anyone actually cares.Becuase I'm 32 it's assumed I have plenty of time. What does that mean? Plenty of time to ... what? Have a baby? But I can't. And it will never happen naturally (whatever that means anyway). So what... I am destined to plod on with the cruelty of 'IVF' ( we have ICSI -so are we even more worthless?). I am sick of the whole 'pineapple juice/brazil nuts' might actually make any difference whatsoever - it doesn't - if it's meant to be it will be. I am crippled by this and it's not even recognised - never mind in legislation but even in my closest people's minds. This doesn't even exist. All that exists is being pregnant - no more. Having  a baby there to see. Too see is all that counts.

What now? What now.


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## sandnotoil (Sep 14, 2007)

catt said:


> I am crippled by this and it's not even recognised - never mind in legislation but even in my closest people's minds.


I saw your post and wasn't quite sure what to say, and was going to leave without posting, but I thought I'd have a go.

This is the best place to let it all out, because a lot of us on here (me I'm 37 and never managed to be pregnant, yet) have been there or are where you are at now, so we *do* recognise your pain, and we *do* care . All I can add about people around you is that many of them do not have the adequate knowledge about our kinds of problems to recognise the anguish, let alone deal with it.

I know it's hard when everyone around seems to be having babies easily, but remember that we don't know their back stories just as they don't know ours. I have a friend who now has 2 children, but what I didn't know until recently is that she'd had 5 miscarriages in a row before she had them. I was gobsmacked when she told me, and it made me wonder if I had I ever put my foot in it with her whilst she was going through all that? I think I may look on the odd thoughtless remark a bit kinder now, and let them off with a "they didn't know".

I hope you feel a little better after letting it out on the forum, and I'm sending you some   .


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## Maria Christina (Jun 12, 2006)

Cat sorry honey, we care
it's sh't, we put so much energy into treatment, when we get a negative
it's like falling down a black hole,
we feel empty, doesn't help today being mothers day
but I've had lots of negatives, I got a negative today too 
there not easy, we've been trying for 15 years this year, and have only had two positives and two low pg results in all that time
but I would have to say, though I'm really sad, and I'll be miserable today
by the time I have to tell DH I'll have my "I want another go head on"
We have to be in it, to win it, so that means we keep trying or we stop  

needing to have ICSI doesn't make your treatment anymore worthless

you need to read some of the success stories on here, and that will give you hope

If people aren't in the "IVF" world, they don't normally understand
but that's not there fault, there's a lot for us to understand
try telling a few close friends and then maybe you won't feel like no one cares

*YOU CARE, WE CARE*

Take good care, take one step at a time, what ever is best for you, that's what you do next

You're not alone, you have frosties, so that's something good to focus on
a little glimmer of HOPE
there are lots of babies on FF from frosties 

sending you big hugs
         

love and hugs
MC xxxxxx​


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## Tracey&amp;Chris (Jan 6, 2007)

HI Catt,
I know exactly how you feel, I know you feel alone and no one else knows how you feel.
I got another negative today, I haven't had a fresh cycle yet but I had 3 IUIs and 2 ICSI attempts (which both have ended in FET).
I wonder if it will ever work, and all the time we spend trying to get a positive.
I took 2 weeks off this time thinking it would make a difference and had people taking loads of washing up and down the stairs for me or carrying heavy shopping...I feel so stupid and now to have to tell them. I feel like such a fraud!
I know sometimes it is as if we all have our own motives and sometimes people don't realise that they might say something which seems as if they don't care...but all I can say is I hope you get your miracle and if it takes time to get back on your feet take it....
I hope you do decide to come back and try again and if you don't that's down to you.
  
Tracey


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## catt (Mar 27, 2007)

Thanks for replying. I should clarify that I meant non-ff people don't really care. I have spoken to some of my friends re our difficulties but they tend to be of the mind that I could be worse off and should just accept it. They have a point but I'm sure if they were in the same position they would be less flippant. 

I think sometimes you need to be selfish and have a rant to cope with getting through it all.

Anyway - hey-ho - the world has kept turning and tomorrow's another day! 

Take care,

C x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

to you all. this board is here to rant on so rant as much as you like hun  

pam xx


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## tom+jerry (Jan 2, 2008)

Catt

Suppose what hacks me off is that just took it for granted that when we decided to try for a baby that it would be plain sailing.  How naive was I then?  

Its only once you get on the TTC rollercoaster you find out what a long and sometimes difficult track it really is.  

Best wishes on your journey    

xxxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi

Just seen your post and wanted to send you a big 

I think the majority of us on here can completely empathise with your pain....and rant away, that's what we're all here for...to support one another through this whole horrible IF journey.

I totally feel your heartache hun....I'm 39 and although have conceived 5 times I don't have a baby and we started our 6th IVF cycle today (4th fresh one).

It's not easy to stay positive all the time and although I'm usually a glass half full kinda girl, I certainly have my down days when I wonder whether it will ever happen...but we plod on and keep believing that we will one day hold our dream in our arms...I honestly hope it happens for you too. 

Lots of luck in your journey 
Take care
Natasha


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## kerrylou (Jul 12, 2007)

*Just wanted to send you a huge  hope you feel a bit better soon xxxx*


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