# FIRST MEETING!!!!!



## alex28 (Jul 29, 2004)

just to let you know we had our first info meeting this weekend.  My and DH both had butterflys in our tummies on the drive over to this local village hall.

We talked and wondered about what the other couples would be like, age, looks, lifestyle etc - all these mad thoughts go thru your mind that you are not good enough etc etc.

Anyway when we got there we were so relieved to find that in fact we are "quite normal"!!!! 

We had a cuppa and some biccies, the lady introduced herself to us and then we watched a video about the whole process, then we had to introduce ourselves, say what type of child we were looking for, age, sex, how many etc and reasons behind wanting these "type" of children.

I did feel that meeting was a little negative at times but i know what was said was probably to weedle out the "do we dont we" brigade.

The first couple said they wanted a boy and a girl up to 5 years - she told them they should not be so picky

second couple already had 2 children and she told them they would have to wait and could not even proceed until there was at least a 2 year gap between what they wanted to adopt and their youngest child.

We said our bit, 0-5, boy or girl, siblings etc would even maybe look at older perhaps after more discussion - not much she could say to that i thought, were not being picky etc and she said "well if you work full time it could be difficult, we would not want you working full time you know".  I thought you have not even asked me my work situation so i just replied "well im self employed so thats not an issue".  

There was a couple who brought their son along who was 20 months and a reall sweetie - kept playing with my handbag!  Anyway the son was the image of Daddy so the whole room was agast when they informed us that they adopted him at 9 months old!  What a match is all i can say!

The told us that the time from when we return our "expression of interest" form to being called in for an interview would take at least 6 months, they only take on 25 couples a year with only 4 or 5 preparation courses a years.  OBviously if you are picky about age, typeof child etc it will be a longer process so we are trying to be  realistic about it all.

I was told by a SW that if our criteria fitted what they were looking for and they had children coming up then they could fit us on the course in Oct/Nov yet at the info meeting they were quite insistant about the long wait and what a huge rollercoaster it would be.

Well personally, if we have coped with the fertility tx then this cant be worse than that!  We hope!!

So we are going to send our expression of interest form back and then wait


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## Milktray (Jun 12, 2005)

Glad it went well for you  

I must admit that I am not quite sure of the exact order of things.  Have you had an initial visit at home by a Social Worker already?

At what stage do you fill in the letter of interest?

We have just had our first visit and are now waiting to go on a prep course which we imagine will be in the new year, sigh!

We are still in a dilemma about what age and whether we would take on a sibling group.  I keep praying that someone will come from the heavens above and show me a sign!!!  

Good look with your journey

T x


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## alex28 (Jul 29, 2004)

Thanks T
from what i have read and they told us the order goes a bit like this

Inital info meeting
Submit express of interest form
LA contact us for interview with them - can take at least 6 months!
CRB checks
SW visit to house
Go on prep course
Assesment
Home Study
Form F submitted
panel

i know it prob differs in each LA but thats the gist of what they told us this weekend.

No visits from SW yet but i have a friend who adopted 2 kids and she got her SW to talk to me over the phone a few weeks to run thru the process and she was very helpful with information etc.

Good luck with your journey too - what made you decide on the overseas route if u dont mind me asking?


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Alex

Great that you've had your info meeting, isn't it funny how you get really anxious about it and how you perceive how people will be. I had a nightmare before ours that they took one look at us at the door and turned us away for being freaks. Needless to say it was nothing like that but I know what you mean about the doom and gloom aspects. I truly believe they do that to scare off the ones that are not quite ready. I thinks it's OK to be not quite sure at the early stages because it is a huge life change for most of us but everyone here talks of the moment of clarity when you suddenly (or slowly) realise that it just feels right.

I'm not quite sure when my moment was but I feel as if a huge weight was taken off my shoulders when I knew I was on the right path.

Wishing you all the best on your journey

Morgana x


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## Marielou (Oct 18, 2003)

Alex,

I'm so pleased the meeting went well for you, even if they did seem a little picky  over some things.  
I really don't know much about the process of adoption, apart from the bare minimum (we have a few adopted children in our family, but the last one was adopted 6 years ago, so I was too young to take much notice) so I will be following you closely!
Lovely about that little boy and his daddy ..... my Aunt was adopted by my Grandad (Mum and Aunt have same Mum, but my aunt was concieved during the war, by an American Soldier ~ hmmm my saucy Nan!   ) and I swear, she looks SO like my Grandad, just as much as Mum does.  Last weekend, it was her wedding day, and all my cousins have new babies, and I was looking at them and seeing Grandad, which is not biologically possible.    
Anyway, I will be following your story with intrest,

Marie xx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Alex - great to read about your info evening - its 1  month till we go to ours so now i know a litlle bit more about what to expect...i had in my mind that it was going to be really big with loads of people but now i'm wondering if it'll be smaller, wasnt expecting to have to introduce ourselves  guess we'll have to get used to that for the prep course...
sweet story about the little boy. my friend was lucky enough to adopt a 4 month old baby boy a couple of years ago - he is the sweetest little chap - theres a pic of him on the wall next to a pic of his dad at the same age and they look almost identical - spooky

anyway lovely to hear how you got on 

kj x


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## AnneD (May 9, 2005)

Alex,

great to hear about how the meeting went, the thought of going must have been quite scary and they do seem to try and scare people off but I suppose they just want to make sure that prospective parents are prepared.  The story about the little boy is very cute.  A close friend of mine is adopted but I didn't even know until fairly recently because, even though she was adopted as a baby, she has always known it and it has never been an issue.  After she was adopted her parents then went on to have two children naturally but spookily my friend is the image of her adopted mum, far so than the birth children.  It's like she was 'meant' to be in that family.  They've also been going through a very tough time and she is their absolute rock.  

Just think, there's a child (or more) out there that's 'meant' for you too, it just must be fustrating that you have to wait to meet them.  

Wishing loads of luck on your journey and sending you lots of   and   

Anne xxx


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## viviennef (Feb 22, 2005)

Hi Alex, just wanted to see how you were doing. It's great you're going ahead with everything. Keep us updated on the donor sperm thread and let us know how you are getting on.

Wishing you lots of luck for the future.

Viv xx


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## alex28 (Jul 29, 2004)

Thanks for your support guys, esp those from the DS thread - it means so much to me. 

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!


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## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

Hi Alex  

So pleased it went well for you and was an overall positive experience    Wishing you loads and loads of luck now, and hope you don't have to wait a full 6 months to hear from the LA. 

Good luck hun. 

Love 

Jayne x


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi Alex

Glad that everything went well and they have given you a plan of action...

With regards to the waiting...................I know all about that!!....BUT.....to be hinest inbewteen everything dh and I have been making the most of out time alone and in all honesty its gone by pretty quickly, its only now we are waiting for a match that some days seemmuch longer...

So dont worry, you really will be at panel before you know it!

Natsxx


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