# Where to start!



## time2bmom (Jan 18, 2012)

Hi all

I'm new to FF. I work, I go home, I work. I visit my friends. I don't sit in bars all weekend give people the eye. I've tried internet dating and dear God.. I split with my husband nearly 2 years ago. We tried for a baby for about 5 months but our hearts weren't really in it. Well his wasn't. Mine was but in the end I realised it was about having a child, not necessarily one with him.

Since then, I have come to the conclusion that whilst I would love for things to be different, every day I do nothing I am risking my chance. I always wanted to have had a child by now and don't want to be 35 or older. So after a lot of though, I have realised that as a mature, single woman of 32, I am actually allowed to make the decision to become a mother and in fact don't have to wait for the right bloke to turn up. I haven't discussed with my friends yet as I know that unless I am armed with all the information and the responses, they may view my decision as rash which it most certainly isn't. I'm not giving up hope of finding someone, but neither do I think I shouldn't have the opportunity at all just because I've had back luck in love.

So here I am.. and I haven't a scooby where to start. I'm in the research stages of options. I haven't spoken to my doctor, which I guess should be the next step. Just looking for some friends and support from people going through the same journey...

M x


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

M    it's a big step isn't it .. You've come to the right place for info and support though.

First I'd get an appointment with your GP and get the initial blood work done. FSH, LH, Oestradiol or preferable AMH. AMH is the Anti- Mullerian Hormone - along with a Antral Follicle scan (AFC), it will give you some idea of your ovarian reserve. AMH is a wee hormone realeased by your dormant eggies - the higher the number - the higher your ovarian reserve, the less invasive the treatment you need. The Antral Follicle scan will scan your ovaries (its an internal scan - dildo cam as we affectionately call it) - the nurse will count how many dormant follicles you have - again the higher the number, the less meds you'll need to be stimulated .. Loads of abbreviations etc .... mad isn't it - anything you're unsure of - please shout!!

Are your cycles regular? If so then that's a fairly good indication that everything is as it should be.

I'd also try and get a HSG - Hystersalpingogram (or similar) to see if your tubes are clear.

Once you've got your initial results - then you know what step is best for you ..... 
Shout if you need any advice or have any questions.

Lots of info on the initial stages on this board .. : http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=532.0

   Mini xxx


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## Diesy (Jul 19, 2010)

Hi M,

You've summed up the situation many of us are in with the meeting someone/dating.  I've tried internet too and got my heart broken - very boring.    Maybe have a wee look at the treatment diaries, iui and ivf.  Keep asking questions 

Mini - I hear your Scottish accent coming on - luv it!


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

emms welcome to the thread, your GP may not do your AMH as usually this is a test that only some fertility clinics use it (not all including ARGC with the highest success rate for IVF in the UK). Where are you in the UK? You probably will have to pay for any treatment being single as you are not usually entitled to NHS funding. The GUM clinics or you GP might also do your infection screens free. HIV/HepB syphillis etc
Read about your options - some woman try and find a known donor and do home insems (AI) free sperm donors worldwide/prideangel etc are website, others co parent, some do IUI or IVF. the do you import the sperm that you chooseor use a clinics?
Look at website like donor conception network etc

Look at clinics near you (or further a field) look at results there is a vast dfferent in results with clinics and prices. Look abroad at prices. Go to clinic open days/evening, look at fertilty shows etc

Good Luck


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Apologies should've made my post clearer - AMH and AFC will need to be carried out at your clinic - my GP referred me and she also did my AMH, but not all GP's will test for AMH.
They will do FSH, LH etc...


   
M xx


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## KerriJo (Jun 25, 2011)

Wow, I could have written the exact same post a year ago!!!

A huge decision to go it alone, and I still have the odd 'OMG what am I doing' days, but I know that it is what I want, and if I didn't do this, I would regret it later on.

My GP was less than supportive, but I think that made me more determined to do it!

I am 13 weeks pregnant after 3 cycles of diui. Go for it!!!

x x


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## Diesy (Jul 19, 2010)

Joanne​


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## Chowy (Apr 12, 2008)

Emms you have definatly come to the right place    If the fab people on here dont know the answer to a question they will most likely know someone who will do.

Men! Well you can find one of these at any point in your life (hopefully) but this cant be said about having a baby unfortunatly.  I took alot of time thinking and researching and I have to tell you it is the best thing I have ever done.  It is hard work and a real rollercoaster ride going through treatment, but worth ever step if you are successful.

Oh and internet dating   well thats a whole other story   

Best of luck
Chowy and Pup xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Chowy - OMG - can't believe how much your wee pup has grown!  Where has this time gone?


M xxx


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## Matilda7 (Feb 22, 2011)

Congratulations Joanne!

M - just wanted to add that egg sharing would also be an option for someone of your age (if you decided to go down the IVF route).  Good luck with making your decision, and you're in the right place if you have any questions! xx


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## Chowy (Apr 12, 2008)

Mini, I know        where did that time go.    to you hon.

Chowy and Pup xx


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## twinklets (Jan 31, 2012)

Hi M I can totally understand where you are coming from because that is the way I feel and situation I am in! I am just starting my journey too and considering IUI. I'd love to hear how you get on as it sounds like we are in the same boat! I don't have anyone to talk to either which is why I've joined here to hopefully make friends and find people who understand what I am going through. 

Good luck 

T x


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