# Speaking with your child about adoption



## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

http://www.plymouth.gov.uk/homepage/socialcareandhealth/childrenssocialcare/adoptionandfostering/adoption/existingadoptiveparents/adoptionmanual/speakingaboutadoption.htm#preschool

Thought this was well worth a read by us adoptive parents 

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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

thanks Mof2, a really good clear article 
kj x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Thanks Mo2   I was mid reply and called away by Munchkin  

It is a good piece, lots of helpful tips so thanks for sharing


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Thank you for sharing this with us.


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Glad you all liked it


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

I've actually met 3 people (adopters) in the last 2 weeks with 3+ yr olds who've asked me 'ooh have you started talking about adoption yet? we havent said anything, we dont know what to say or how to start' WTF  how did these people get through adoption panel? one of them even said 'i dont want to use the word adopted in case she repeats it outside of the house!'
I know the children dont 'understand' it yet but we still talk about it..even babybro says his FC name if i say 'where did you live before you came to Mummy and Daddy' and he's only 2! 
so i have emailed them all this link as well as 'advising' them that perhaps they should start now 
kjx


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Oh Dear KJ!! Some people ay  

Bless LO saying FC's name, When we ask DS where he came from he says 'X's (BM name) Tummy' Bless him. 
DS also has a little book called 'I am Adopted' and he'll just come out with it sometimes 'I am adopted'    He said it round my sisters house and I said 'thats right you are sweetheart'. My nephew then said to my sister 'Mummy am I adopted' she said no and he kicked off 'Yes I am, I want to be adopted too'    

Good on you pointing them in the right direction


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Oh well KJ they will find it very difficult when they do come to talk to them about it!  

C remembers old birth nan but doesn't mention her often now at all but occasionally he will come out with a comment, which is good as he has the concept that he had a family before he came to us. 
He doesnt really mention his BM ( doesnt really know BF) We had to use the concept that we are new mummy and daddy as when he first came here the plan was for him to go home. So we are going with the you had old mummy etc and we are the new ones, as he can understand this at the moment

x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Wynnster - who is the author of the book I am adopted and would you recommend it?  Haven't got one for ds2 yet.  Funny story about your nephew - sounds like my ds2 - he would say just the same thing and kick off about it


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hi Mo2

It's an old book, must be 70s/80s and to be honest it is very basic 'My name is Charles, I am Adopted' 'My friend is called Mark', and it ends with 'Adoption means belonging' I wouldn't say its the most interesting/colourful of adoption books in DS's library but it is certainly the book he chooses most often  but then we often change the words to suit DS's story.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B00111ZDUO/sr=1-3/qid=1252588193/ref=dp_image_0?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books&qid=1252588193&sr=1-3

We got it from ebay a few years ago, not sure where you'd get it from now, perhaps try your library?

xxx

Ps - Tried to reply to PM but your inbox is full 

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi Wynnster - taken some old posts out of my in box now    Thanks for the info re the book.  Looked on Amazon but it is nearly £20 to buy so will skip that one.  Wondering if any one else has bought an age relevant book that they would recommend re I am adopted?  Might start a new topic about it.  Bye for now


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