# FET failure and now not sure what to do



## mackilty (Feb 5, 2010)

Hello all,

It is great to see all the posts and threads about hoping for another miracle and wanted to post as I am not sure where to turn.  We are blessed with our DD who is the light and joy of our lives.  We just had a BFN from the FET and really I am surprised by how incredibly sad I am!  I went through alot as you can see on my signature to have my DD.  I really believed that if we were blessed with one happy and healthy baby I would be so over the moon and feel that the journey was completed.

BUT, now I sit here, with the answer to my prayers running around the house and I feel such a deep sadness that my FET did not work and the unsure feelings of what to do next.

THe thoughts of climbing back on the threadmill of treatment just freezes me to the spot!  I am taking this time to grieve this failed FET and going to see where life takes us.  It is such a "weird" feeling to be so sad when my DD's little face lights up the room and my heart.  Maybe it is just me.

Kilty


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## hiltra (Aug 16, 2011)

Hi there

So sorry to hear it didn't work out for you this time around. We hang all of our hopes on these cycles and I can imagine how upset you are feeling right now.

If you did decide to go for it again, would you use the same place?
The only reason I ask is that ARGC (who we went with) do amazing things and they have the best success rate in the UK.
A lot of women who have been unsuccessful in the past turn to ARGC as their final hope and in many cases, they get the results they wish for.

Just a thought....
I wish you the very best of luck in your future plans, whatever they might be.
xxx


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi Kilty,

You are certainly not alone in how you feel.

We were truly blessed to get our DS with our first IVF cycle.  As soon as I had him I remember saying how lucky we were and that once out frostie's were used we would just move on as a family of 3 if they didn't work.

Well I did get a BFP and the joy at seeing those two lines again was fantastic.  However the sadness I felt a week later when I started to miscarry was horrendous.  I knew then that I wasn't ready to give up, but we had no money for a fresh cycle.

We decided to try naturally and my dad phoned up out the blue and offered to pay for one cycle for us.  We were over the moon and luckily it worked again.

I think you should give yourself time and then sit down and talk about where you go from here.  Also please, never feel bad or guilty for wanting more children.  People that don't have problems expand there families and no one questions them for wanting more then one child.  So we should to be able to expand our families and it certainly doesn't mean we aren't grateful for the miracle LO's we do have.



X


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## pepperoni (Dec 11, 2009)

Hi kilty   


I can only repeat what Stacey has said and say you are definitely not alone in how you feel. Making the decision to start the emotional roller coaster of treatment again is not easy but like you I found my desire to have another child was as great as my desire to have my first child and it really surprised me. I have always felt incredibly lucky and blessed to have our DS and didn't imagine the emotions would be as strong as they were during our first treatment. As Stacey said we should never feel guilty for those feelings - it is perfectly normal to want more than one child. 


I really hope things go well for your continuing journey, big hugs xxx


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## mackilty (Feb 5, 2010)

Thanks so much ladies for your replies!  It really helps me to hear from those who are on this journey too!  

I guess it was not until I had my DD that I was able to take in what it means to me to have another LO.

We are taking some time to grieve for this failed tx and going to decide what we want to do next.

Thanks for taking the time to give me some of your words of wisdom and best wishes to everyone on their journeys!

Kilty


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