# new member - hello! - and sorry for the LONG introduction ~



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hi everyone 

I have just joined FF and am looking forward to getting to know some or all of you. I joined because I honestly feel like I can't keep going the way I am going for much longer, and I'd love to be able to chat to others in our situation... 
As you can probably gather by my username    we have been prescribed clomid. Our story is as follows: 
Myself and DH started TTC two years ago when I came off the pill. I had previously been treated for mild endo with Yasmin, but my gynae saw no reason for this having any effect on conception once I came off. We tried for about six months without concern, then got a bit more technical for another few months and after about a year we got referred to our local NHS for investigations. I had a hsg, which while painful, I was told was perfectly fine. I had some bloods done and DH had an SA. All fine. The NHS then told us to go away and come back in a year if nothing had happened since. That was in April this year. 

By August, I was into our 26th cycle TTC (I have quite short cycles, usually 26-27 days) and I couldn't take the stress of it anymore and went privately to see my gynae who treated me for endo back in 2003.  He did a full blood work-up (unfortunately, the NHS did not do both cd3 and cd21 tests) and was pleased to report that all bloods were normal - fsh, progesterone, etc. We discussed all options available to us and in view of my age (34) he suggested clomid for 3-6 months to see how we'd get on. 

We had two unsuccessful cycles of 50mg clomid (side-effects weren't nice, but were manageable); on the first I produced 4 follicles - 3 mature and 1 smaller one, and on the second I produced two "perfect" follicles (his words, not mine) and my lining was fine too and I was also given a Pregnyl trigger. We were so disappointed when the 2nd cycle failed that we took a break this month with the run up to Christmas as I couldn't face the meds and the stress and the hormones... etc.. etc 

I am so sorry this has gone on for so long    
If you're still reading (!), I really wanted to say that I am finding it so, so hard right now to keep going. I can't take the repeated failure, I can't take being told everything is perfect and it "should" happen, and yet it still doesn't. My friends and family don't really understand and I find it so hard to talk about it. And so many, many of my friends are pregnant, it's just impossible to even be happy for them any more. My sister has now announced she is PG, and I am really happy for her, but just devastated for us. We have been trying so long and we're just running out of positivity to keep us going. Hers is the first baby in the family, so it's especially hard, as she started trying this year and will have the first grandchild next summer. My mother is totally thrilled and keeps talking about the baby/PG and I feel so lousy for not being happier about it. 

DH just can't take any more annoucements. He says they bring him no happiness. A work friend just rang to tell me she was PG last week too... and I just burst into tears in M&S of all places! 

I think I am slowly going crazy with all this and I know some of you have had so so much worse to put up with than us, I feel so bad even complaining. We ARE happy together, but we are also just so sad right now and Christmas is making things so much worse. I'm dreading seening my family and talking baby the whole time, and I'm dreading seeing DH's family and being told we need to "get a move on". I am finding myself in tears all of the time (even without clomid this month!) and I know I have to start taking it again in January, with a view to possible iui / ivf in the very near future. 

If any of you have any help/advice/contributions I'd be so grateful... 
Thank you so much for reading 

Cx


----------



## Dahlia (Oct 29, 2007)

Hi Clomidia,

loving the name .Welcome to FF- 

I could have written this post myself and understand your frustration and sadness.Our turn will come   but it can be hard to keep holding onto that!

One of the mods will leave you some links for threads.

Looking forward to chatting with you and good luck,

Dahlia x


----------



## spjulac (Oct 2, 2007)

Welcome to FF! 

Good luck. Hope the clomid works for you in the New Year.  

Lucy xx


----------



## Gizmog (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi C,
I read your story (it's beautifully written) and now I'm hoping    and wishing  for you. 
I can't really comment on your situation but I just wanted to post you this link, in case you haven't found your way around yet (I'm still learning new stuff all the time) and in case you're reading l8r and the moderators haven't had chance to get to you
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=48729.0
in the hope that you'll find people in similar situations to yourself
Good luck, Gizmog


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Thank you all so much for replying      and just letting me vent. Normally I am the positive one but these last few weeks have sucked everything out of me. I hope to be back in   form soon ...

Dahlia, glad you like the name    The "real" me has a warped sense of humour and thought it entertaining - I am not this highly strung all the time, I promise. Thanks again. 

Hi spjulac, thanks so much for the    
I hope it's BOTH our years next year 

Hi Gizmog, thanks so much for the compliment   and for the link! I love your babydust angel - hope to get the hang of posting soon & send some right back at ya. Cheers.


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hi Clomidia, 

Your name caught my attention, genius!!!

DH and I have just been for our initial appointment and now he has SA in Jan and I am waiting on my hysterosalpingogram date coming through, so I don't know about all the tests but I know about the waiting and the reactions to other peoples BFPs. I used to be so outgoing and excited for people when they made their announcements, but now I use all my energy trying not to dissolve in misery and dissappointment (for ourselves) in front of them instead of being genuinely happy for them. I dislike the selfish, self-obsessed person I am becoming. 

I hope you and DH find the strength to get through Christmas. Does your family know what you h ave been going through? My sister is the only one that knows and bless her, she does try to help with tales of her friends that have had difficulty and telling me to think positively. AFter a while, it just isn't possible, is it  

Take care, 

W

Take care


----------



## Paula111 (Sep 17, 2007)

Hi Clomidia,
Love the name.
Just read your intro. I've not been a member too long myself, but I think you will find this site invaluable, just to be able to talk to people in a similar situation will give you strength to continue.
People don't understand and don't know what to say, I know exactly where you are. My mum has only just started to take an interest in my own IVF as she has been talking to a friend of hers who is a nurse and said what a long and difficult road fertility treatment is. People just don't understand.
Don't let other peoples BFP get you down    
Easier said than done I know.

It sounds like you have a supportive hubby.
Think of all the positives you have around you,
Have you thought of alternative therapies, acupuncture, reflexology etc. Theres lots of info on here.
Keep smiling
Paula


----------



## Fluffs (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi Clomidia (great name!)

I can't offer much advice but just wanted to send you some huge great big      Try to remain positive (I know how hard it is) - I was in your exact shoes two years ago with the first grandchild having been announced by my (younger!) SIL so I was really feeling the pressure.  Six months later my dream came true so it will for you too.  Hang in there      

   to you and DH

Fluffs xxx


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Thanks again for all the replies  

weeza82, I know what you mean, I feel the old me is slowly disappearing and being replaced with a bitter ole woman sometimes! My family do know, but don't ask, iykwim. Best of luck with the hsg - where are you having it done? I had mine at Northwick Pk, Harrow. 

paula111, thanks so much for the    I tried acupuncture about a year ago. It helped with my endo pain, but not with my AF (they last about 1 day, and have done since I came off the pill - gynae says lining is fine so nothing to worry about)
I like the idea of reflexology.. maybe I should ask Santa for some  

Hi Fluffs, thanks so much for replying. It's lovely reading positive stories. Hope we get that happy-ever-after too


----------



## Fluffs (Aug 31, 2004)

Clomidia, sorry if I cut my post a bit short but Mr Sainsbury arrived with my shopping so I had to go earlier  

Just wanted to say welcome to the site and I know you'll make lots of friends who understand on here   

Fluffs xxx


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hi Clomidia, 

Having got the date for my hsg but I live in Ireland and am having it over here. I too went to the chinese herbalist and got 2 kinds of tabs, take 8 of each kind, 3 times a day, followed with a course of acupunture. I am not a big fan of needles but stuck it out and to be honest didn't feel much different. The herbalist told me not to panic, that my condition was good.I am wondering about going back to see can they help with the stress and angst. 
I am such a novice, what does iykwim stand for?

In the spirit of Christmas  

W


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Sorry weeza82 iykwim = If You Know What I Mean  

I am Irish myself, but live in London 

C 

PS Is the "82" for the year you were born? If so, you lucky young thing!


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hi C, 

Nah, 82 is my old house number!!! (I wish I was born in 82, but I'm not too far away, born 79, making me 2. 

Thanks for the interpretation  

W


----------



## margocat (Jul 26, 2007)

Clomidia - I had to write and say hello and send you lots of love and luck.  

Like the other ladies, I completely identify with the way you feel and it is entirely normal - I think that's one of the joys of being on a site like this, reminding yourself that you aren't going mad and that others in your situation do also understand how it feels.  

I am 35 and have been trying to conceive since 6 months before we got married last September.  As you'll see from my signature, we tried Clomid and no joy - I'm very impatient and just couldn't cope with just waiting for one month after another of things not working out.  We decided to go private after (unfortunately) losing faith with the NHS and we decided to start IUI.  As you'll see, unbelieveably we got pregnant on the first go.  It feels like a miracle and of course now I'm a complete wreck waiting for my first scan (next Wed) to check this isn't all in my head!  

However, I wanted to tell you not to give up hope - that it WILL happen, and when it does, somehow, because you have started to prepare yourself for the long haul and it never working - suddenly you'll find it impossible to believe it happened so quickly!!

Sending you lots of love and luck this Christmas - don't be afraid to warn family that things are hard and that you are trying and that this "having a baby" business is not as easy as some people make it seem.  I found the birth of my nephew to my brother and SIL very hard last year, not helped by my SIL being 10 years younger than me - and I hated myself for it.  Although I do love my nephew!

Anyway - sorry for long post, but hope you are feeling slightly better
MC
xx


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

margocat, that's an amazing story -congratulations!    I hope everything goes well at the scan next week. 

I have to say, since my post last night I have been reading around the site a little (there's a lot to get the hang of!) but I am already feeling a lot better and have decided a PMA is for me right now. 
I have to believe it WILL happen 

Thanks so much        

PS Is there a particular thread people post on, or do people just post in various sites, depending on treatment, location etc? I'd love to keep an eye on all the lovely people who've replied here


----------



## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


----------



## Gizmog (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi "Clomidia"
pleased to hear the site is helping, I've found it a godsend. If you want to keep an eye on certain people you can click on their name (above their pictures and membership details, on the left of their posts) and their profile comes up, you can then scroll down and do things like view their last posts to see when and where they last posted and what they said.   It was a useful trick the other day I hadn't heard from someone for a while and was starting to worry so I clicked to see if they'd been on and took action from there, cos you can send personal messages and stuff if you wanna keep things a bit more private or whatever.   Anyway I'm sure you'll find out all this and more over the next few days. Good luck sweetness, hope the family have a bit more tact than have shown so far, over xmas, for the sake of you and your wonderful DH. Gizmog  
PS click on more next to the smileys to get more smileys inc. babydust angel


----------



## eggsharer (Oct 22, 2007)

hi clomidia - your name made me smile but only coz at first glance i read it as chlamidia and thought blimey thats a bit strong   

I have no experience of clomid, our problem is male factor so we had to go straight to IVF with ICSI.  NOt being able to afford that and can't have a go on NHS (I have a daughter from previous relationship so not classed as a childless couple) so i am eggsharing instead (hence name).  Yesterday they took 11 eggs out of me (6 for me 5 for my recipient) and today i hear how many have fertilised.  Egg sharing is a good choice if you are strong enough to cope with posibility that your recipient may get a BFP and you don't.  I will cross that bridge when i come to it but i  don't ponder about a child who looks like me being born as my DD doens't anyway (I am dark haired). And besides if you read in the donor boards these ladies who don't have any useful eggs and wait years for a donor it makes me realise what a good thing i am doing to help someone else - what better a gift at christmas!  I sincerely hope it does work for her regardless of my treatment - if it doesn't work we will pick ourselves up and try again. Pls the cost of my treatment with eggsharing is free (for IVF) and i only pay for ICSI (£700) and the screening tests plus HFEA fee so under £1500 which is great (actually NHS did some of the screens for me for free so total was £1100 for treatment).  (You have to be under 35 to do eggsharing incase you were thinking about it).

We have been TTC for 4 years and my SIL got pg 3 years ago which was hard - they are going to try again in new year so i hope this works for us otherwise i know that will be a double whammy for me.  I may have a child but beleive me it doesn't stop the longing for one with my husband.  My DD has asked Santa for a brother or sister in her little note to him for last 5 years so i hope the big man beings it to her this year before she doesn't beleive in him anymore.

Best of luck to you, enjoy your christmas and some nice glasses of wine!  Then i hope 2008 brings you joy in the form of a little bundle         x


----------



## eggsharer (Oct 22, 2007)

oh clomidia i just found this its the 2ww diaries for ladies on clomid - might be nice to read others in same situation as you (click on link) - x http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=196.0


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Thanks Ladies... so much kindness    and so much useful information! Looking forward to chatting with you all xx


----------



## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support and i wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


----------



## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi hun,

Welcome to Fertility Friends, this site is fnatastic for support, information and friendship  

Huggles
Nikki


----------



## Strawberries (Apr 6, 2005)

Hi Clomidia,

Just like to say hello and  to fertility friends 

Strawberries xx


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  Clomidia  
I am sorry to read what a tough time your having right now, and with christmas so close I can really feel your pain, I think youve had some wonderful advice on here allready and I am sure you will soon be an addicted regular here on FF 
I think a plan may be to talk with your Dh about what your next plan of attack is - Maybe January wil be the month, who knows, prehaps you had to have those perfect follies and a BFN to find us 
I really hope that you cope with christmas and that 2008 brings the dream we are all seeking 

I am going to leave you some direct links to boards here on FF - that you may or may not have found, I encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support from members who really do have an understanding of your situation, most people find they gel/bond in two or threee places and pop in on others  but your free to post anywhere, anytime. and this thread can be used to update on your progress. 
at the top of the page you can click to see new replies to any thread you post on, handy once your posting all over FF 
and finally has your DH made any changes to his diet or lifstyle including vitamins 

Starting out & Diagnosis ~
CLICK HERE

Meanings ~
CLICK HERE

FAQ ~
CLICK HERE

Unexplained ~ 
CLICK HERE

G&B  Community board
CLICK HERE

Clomid ~
CLICK HERE

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for where you live & a site search for your *clinic* 

Wishing you Friendship  &    
 Let us know how you get on, and if it all gets too much over christmas just come here, we are "open" 24/7 someone will reply ((hug))

If you need any help just ask! 
~Dizzi~


----------



## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi Clomidia, (love the name!) Welcome to Fertility Friends. 

I can see that you have already made lots of friends on FF already, with some great advice. I can only echo what Dizzi has said and with you lots of success with your tx.

C~x


----------



## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Welcome to the boards.  i can understand how you feel about friends and family getting pg and having babies.  Since February 05 there's been 12 babies born to friends at church but they've been really supportive as well and our senior leader is fantastic.  My cousin got married 2 weeks after DH and I and his wife is pg with #2.  My sister had a baby Oct 06.  I love being an Aunty.  I thought I was pg back in Feb 05, got + on home test day   was due only for  to turn up 4 days later on the same day that etst done at health centre came back -.  I suspect I had a very early mc.  I've been very up and down the last 2 months since my Nieces first birthday, it hit me 4 days before it that if my pg back in 05 had lasted, I'd have had  a LO turning 2 a few days after my Niece was 1.  Got through a very tough week thanks to senior leader of my church being really supportive.


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Thank you all for sharing your stories and all your advice and kindness ...  
Cx 
(And sorry this is so short & sweet, will write much much more soon   )


----------



## Paula111 (Sep 17, 2007)

Hi Clomidia,

Not really got the hang of this site myself yet, I find its just trial and error but I have just discovered that you can send personal messages to people if you what to, although I couldn't explain how to---again trial and error!!

Paula


----------



## Guest (Jan 4, 2008)

Hi Clomidia,
Welcome to FF, It has been an invaluable source of support for me since I joined 12 months ago, I hope it will be for you too. I just wanted to say, I know how you feel.My sister got pregnant in May, (also first grandchild etc.)and I found it _*extremely*_ difficult to cope with. Unfortunately, she misscarried at 8 weeks, and then I felt even worse...my sister is now also struggling ttc...what I wouldn't give, with hindsight, this Christmas, to have our family, especially my mum, be blessed with my sister's little baby son or daughter.Sorry for rambling, I'm just trying to say I know how you feel...

Nikki


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Tomorrow is Newbie Night in the Chat room at 8pm
- do pop in and say  To Caz & I
The chat room has various themed sessions each week, 
Details of these can be found on the main index page 
The chat room is open 24/7 with lots of support, fun & friendship to be found.
We already Offer one2one Chats by prior arrangement CLICK HERE


For help in getting into the chatroom  CLICK HERE


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hello everyone  

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful and kind replies. I have been missing from the boards for a few weeks - holidays over Christmas and then WAY too much work for my liking  

I'm hoping to catch up with all the news soon; looking forward to getting to know everyone again 

Take care 
Cx


----------



## bevvers (Jan 2, 2008)

Hi Clomidia

Great name by the way!

This is only my second time on this website and it's great that we
all have a place to chat as only we know exactly what we are all
going through.  it's so hard trying to be nice all the time when
people give you the news that theyre pregnant when inside you
just feel like crying.

I was put on Clomid many years ago & you go on it with so much
hope & expectation.  It's so frustating when it doesn't work.

I hope you keep on trying as there are so many alternative things
that you can do.  The main thing is to both keep strong!

I don't know if you can help but I don't know how I know if my
history comes on the bottom like everyone elses in PINK I am
not quite sure what to do to get it up, also how do I get the
smiley's on, I would like to send you a big cheesy grin to say
hello!!

bevvers


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hi Clomidia, 

Good to see you back on here. I was wondering where you had gotten to!!! How did you get on over Christmas and New Year? We had the nice distraction of my sister's wedding   on the 29th Dec but AF  came the day before (was due on Christmas Day but I decided I wouldn't test till New Years Day. So much for that theory!!!) so I wasn't feeling great for the wedding with cramps et al. But we had a brilliant day all the same. DH and I fell out on Christmas morning. He was stomping about in foul form and eventually admitted he was upset cos he thought there might have been a baby there with us . To my eternal shame, I retorted "You would have known for the last 9 months there would be no baby in time for Christmas, why so upset about it now?" I felt terrible cos he has been a rock when I get all teary over things and this was the first time he had really cracked. HE had his SA yesterday, so I think he can ring for results on monday. Its not something he would like to have to do too often  . I am still waiting on my appointment for my HSG. Why when you are waiting for something in the post, all you get is junk mail?  Otherwise, we are still TTC naturally and I am now on my 2ww (due next Sun). 
I am trying to psych myself up for the upcoming  months. From the end of Feb to the end of April, there are 8 babies due round all our friends and acquaintances. A lot of the parents-to-be weren;t even married when we had started TTC and sometimes it feels so unfair.   Its a lot of pressies to buy and a lot of trying not to flinch with longing or when someone asks you the dreaded questions "Have you  no notion yourself?", "You would need to get a move on..." or "That suits you (when holding a baby)". Have you read the "Smart things to say to nosey people" thread? Really good replies there. 

Hope you're doing ok     
Sorry bout the rant!!!

Weeza


----------



## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Seeing friends and family getting pg and having babies is so hard.  there's been 12 babies born to friends at church since February 05.  My cousin got married 2 weeks after DH and I, his wife is pg with #2 due April.  My sister is due #2 in August.  Our neighbour across the street had a baby July 06 as did next door neighbour one side of us and other next door neighbour had a baby 5 days ago.  There's been a few others as well.


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hi Cate, 

Is it just that we are really sensitive about it or is everyone (well it feels like it!) pg? Is it our age, that this is the natural progression of things? I think its a bit of everything to be honest. I am finishing work now for the weekend and am going to head up to the local shopping centre (Rushmere) and I swear, so many pg ladies, so many wee babies, its crazy   Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to go!!!! But i want to scoot round Debenhams and get some groceries so will just have to brave it out  . 

Did you here about Lily Allen? I feel so sorry for her, even though when she made her announcement I was like "what? she has only been with him since September !!!! What about me   " I hope she is alright.


----------



## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

I didn't know she was pg.  That's so sad.  See my signature.  I'm dreading 14th-18th Feb this year.  Those dates haven't bothered me at all in 2006 or 2007 but this year, it's already hurting.  My Niece was 1 back in October and it hit me 4 days before her birthday that if my pg had lasted, DH and I would have had a LO turning 2 a few days after my Niece was 1.  Got through a VERY tough week due to the senior leader of the church DH and I go to being amazing.


----------



## Loubie101 (Aug 20, 2005)

Hi, just wanted to say hello and welcome (a bit belatedly!) to FF.  My son is a Clomid baby...I wasn't OVing regularly so was put on 100mg per day which I had for 6 months and then 150mg on my 7th and final month (long story!) and to my amazement got a BFP.

Here's hoping you'll get one yourself soon


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hi girls  

Thank you so much again for all your replies! I feel like I should really start up and join again, it has been so long since I've posted!! But anyway, I've decided to re-introduce myself and get more involved in the boards (well, that's my intention anyway! I will do my best!) 

I realise now that I was in a pretty bad place in December, which culminated in my crying my eyes out on Christmas night as I just felt so lousy. Yes, I was sick, and away from my family, but DH was there and was wonderful and I'm so sorry that I spoilt his Christmas day by bawling my eyes out (we spent it with his family, always a bit strange!)  Anyway, a neighbour had popped in with her toddler to borrow something or other, and she was so so cute, and I think that just set me off.... 

BUT, since then I have managed to pick myself up, a little at a time, and I'm feeling a lot better about myself. Thank you so much to everyone who shared their stories with me, it gives me so much support, and also hope, in many of your cases. 

I finished my last round of clomid in March, with yet another resounding bfn.  Since then, I've had one natural cycle (again bfn) and I'm about to have a laparoscopy on the NHS next week. I had a follow up appointment with them about six weeks ago and they were keen to put me on the IVF waiting list and schedule a lap beforehand.  I've had a lap before, many years ago, so although I know it's going to be fine and have a good idea what will happen, how I'll feel, etc, I am quite nervous about it all the same.... 

loubie, thanks for the welcome! Cate, hope you got through Feb ok. 
weeza, how are you getting on? 
Ladies, I don't know which threads to join now, as I'm still TTC but we are waiting for IVF now, so I feel I'm in limboland til then 

Everyone else: Thanks for reading &   

Clomidia xx


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hiya Clomidia, 

Good to hear from you again. Glad to hear things are looking a little less dark than they were at Christmas.    I know about those black days, you can feel it coming. We now call it "circling the drain" in our house!!! Did you have any side effects with the Clomid? Good luck for the lap, hope everything goes ok    

Well, we have had our tests done now and are waiting on our review appointment (23 May). My bloods and HSG came back clear, so I am OVing and nice unblocked tubes. DH has been found to have bad morphology and antisperm antibodies, not so good. He is on a feast of supplements which are improving the morphology issue but I don't think there is anything I can do about the ASAs  . So, like you we are still in limboland and no idea which road they will point us down, ICSI, IUI? Who knows. In the meantime still TTC naturally. 

In the meantime,  I have become a fiend on this site and it helps keep me sane, thankfully. Apart from DH I have no one else to talk to about IF and it helps to have a sounding board sometimes. 

Since Christmas there has been a glut of births around me and it has been difficult to deal with. So far I haven't visited any of them (to my eternal shame)   But I must go and get the first visits out of the way. 
2 friends announced their unplanned pgs recently (well, one was definitely unplanned , the other is a big plan well-executed, but that's another story) which threw me for a while. 
Just a fortnight ago, I realised there will be no 2008 baby and all I can hope for is to see in 2009 pg (talk about dragging you down   sorry!!), but need to be more positive. 

Sorry that this has turned into a "poor me" post!!! That wasn't my intentions. 

As the americans say, "Don't be a stranger!!"

Weeza xx


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

hi stranger!  

So sorry to hear about your DHs result. What a pain that you have to wait til end of May for your next follow up! 
How is your DH feeling about it all? It's good to hear your results were clear though. 

How are things with you otherwise? One of my closest friends had her babs last month; I remember so well when she told me she was PG, and I was adament that I would at least be PG by the time her little one arrived, but of course it wasn't to be   I just keep moving the goalposts and hoping by the next one...! 

My nephew/niece is due soon, can't believe the time is going so fast, although it feels like forever when you're TTC.  I am looking forward to being an auntie though. 

I hope you go to visit the new babies soon - I went to see my friend's last week (as soon as she would let me! LoL!) and I found it really cathartic.  He was absolutely gorgeous and I got lots of cuddles but it was HER baby, not mine, and I felt better about ttc. 

Now, I'm no saint mind you - PG women I struggle enormously with, but new babies are just fun (and when they start crying, you can just make your excuses and leave  

I have started reading around natural and mild IVF - have you heard of it? Must have a nose on the boards and see if there's anything about ... 

Cx


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

Hey, 

Yeah I've heard about natural and mild but don't know a lot about it. Needless to say, someone here will!!!!

DH isn't too bad now. When I rang to tell him my HSG results, he said there might still be something wrong with me, but he was just lashing out. He is soo good at taking all his vits and being quite healthy now, but still smokes   . Don't think anything will change that unfortunately   

I have to say, I am wild with pg women. There is a girl who I have grown up with all my life, almost in direct competition with (not a close friend tho), same school, uni, met our DHs within a few months of each other, got engaged and then married within a few months etc etc. BUT she got pg before me, despite having no maternal urge whereas I was all about having a family. I didn't see her much during her pg and now I am building up the courage to visit and using the excuse, "oh I didn't like to visit when he was so young and not in a routine yet"   Fooling no-one!!!!!  She is the one I really can't deal with. I think it's cos our lives have always ran so parallel and similar and I can't really accept the change now. But I have to bite the bullett and go . 

Chat soon, 

Weeza


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

I know EXACTLY how you feel - I have a friend just the same!  

We both even got engaged the same weekend, despite being in different countries at the time! She got married six months after me, and had a babs exactly 12 months later - on her first wedding anniversary 
I just KNOW she is trying again for number 2 (her LO is now 1 year old) while I am still here doing nada  

It can be hard at times, but I have to keep telling myself this is our fate, we both have different paths now. Yes, I wish and pray it could've been me having a baby within a year of marriage but there's nothing I can do about it now, I've got to look after me instead of worrying about what others have.... 

Well.... Sometimes it works  

By the way, I LOVE your doggie pic! 

Oh, forgot to reply earlier - yes, clomid does have some side effects - eg how blooming depressed I was in December!   On the whole, it wasn't too bad really, but it's good to be myself again, at least for a little while 

Take care, 
Cx


----------



## Gizmog (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi just wanted to say welcome back and hopefully give you and Weeza some hope. 
I had my IVF in November having been on the waiting list for about 7 months (was told 18 months but like many ladies in my area we've got through a bit quicker) and so far so good.
I joined the board for the clinic in my area, during my 2 week wait, but could have joined before that, while I was waiting for the IVF to begin, if I'd known about this saviour of a site then. 
It's a really ace board because there's such a mixture of us that there's always someone who can give advice for the stage that your at. So in a long winded way what I'm trying to say have a look and see if there's a board for the clinic where you will be having the treatment cos if there is and it's anything like mine (Hull clinic) it will be another life line. Wishing you and Weeza lots and lots of babydust Gizmog


----------



## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Good to see you back Clomidia.  I've managed to pick myself up as well, fantastic senior leader helped me get back on my feet again.  DH and I are now on the waiting list for IVF and hope to be starting TX in September or not long after.


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Gizmog, that's brilliant news!!! Congratulations! It's also wonderful to hear you only waited 7 months for ivf - wow! Our doc said it's around a year here... 

Cate, glad to hear you are feeling a bit better - where are you having tx? have you had a lap before being put on the waiting list? Mine is scheduled for next week. This time next week I hope to be recovering at home and dozing like a baby!!  

DH told his mum yesterday what was happening... I am hoping and praying she doesn't ever mention it to me! I'm fine with my family, but it just feels weird knowing that DH's parents now know (well, they probably guessed after all this time!) They are very old-fashioned, so I just hope they don't think it's "me" you know, DH and I are in this together and not apportioning blame


----------



## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Nothing has been said to me about having a lap.  I had the dye test back in May 2006 and that ddin't show any blockages.  Only thing is I do have a tilted womb which I've been told can make EC/ET harder so I'm going to make sure I mention it when I start tx.  Don't have definite date yet but hopefully we'll get letter saying we're top of the waiting list in July which puts tx at being in September.


----------



## Gizmog (Nov 29, 2007)

Cate,
just wanted to let you know that I had a tilted womb that also twisted to the left. I don't remember it making EC any more difficult but my clinic arranged for the ET procedure to be done by the person who was good with the more awkward wombs! 
They also got me in for a practice attempt so that the best way of doing the ET for me could be written into my notes. They warned me that there could still be problems on the day but when it came to it, it went without a hitch and as you can see I'm now halfway through pg. I can't help thinking that being a bit twisted and a bit tilted heplped to keep the embie that made it safer and snugger.  

Good luck, here's some baby dust just for you.     Gizmog xx


----------



## weeza82 (Dec 14, 2007)

HI Gizmog, 

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!   . I hope all has went well so far   Thanks for the positive words to keep our chins up, I appreciate them. At the moment, I am feeling a lot better but I know my moods can get black from time to time. "Circling the drain" we call it in our house. 

That's great that you didn't have a very long wait for you Tx. I think the waiting list for my health board is nearly 2 years and iN NI you only get 1 NHS go, so in the meantime, living very boring lives while saving for private Tx. 

Hi Clomidia!!! 

Weeza


----------



## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Isn't it amazing how different PCTs do things differently?

I was told carte blanche I *HAD * to have a lap before they would put me on the IVF waiting list. They said it worked for a lot of women, as in the often got PG after the lap 
(I see it as a springcleaning-of-the-pipes! )
I had a hsg last year. 
weeza, I've also been told we'll only have one go on the NHS... we too are saving hard!

Btw, Cate, I also have a tilted uterus and my gynie told me if we do iui/ivf then they will do a practice run - I think it was suggested more to put my mind at rest than theirs!

Cx


----------



## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Thanks for that.  I'll mention it once we get letter saying we're top of the list.


----------

