# Re:Secondary Infertility General Infomation



## sam

Dee,
How do you find all these great websites?!!

Have just read this with tears streaming down my face - it completely explains how I feel, especially the feelings of guilt. Thank you,
Samxxx


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## Connie

Ohhhh thanks for that site!! Ive been feeling down these last few weeks since my negative cycle so have absorbed myself in to the land of big brother!! Very good site recomemed by me too now!!

Connie
x


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## Forever hopeful

Hello,

I am new to this site. Its been a blessing to me to read all your stories.

Thank you very much


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## bridget

i have secondary infertility - undiagonised and am feeling down and fed up of everyone having babies - my 2 sister-in-laws are having babies this weekend and my other one is pregnant. on the up side, i have a wonderful 6 year old son. I have just attempted my first IVF but had to abandon cycle due to too few follicles. feel guilty for being sad as i have one child, at least.


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## Cherub75

Hi Brigitte,

Welcome to FF's, you'll soon be addicted  

Please don't beat yourself up over how you are feeling, its totallay understandable.  I too have a 6 yr old DS and find it hard to deal with people getting pg or having babies around me, and I too feel eternally grateful that I have my DS, but I still have that longing for a sibling for him.  

Sorry to hear you've had to abandon  , but hope your dream will happenone day.

Take care

Emma xx


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## skye

Hi my name is Skye(sharon),i have a dd from a previous relationship(my now dh has male factor and has no kids) and im never sure where i fit, secondary IF i think is for couples who have kids tigether but i feel bad joining the male factor or icsi boards because i feel as if IM cheating someone.Im sort of inbetween infertility and subfertility-where is the best place for me to chat?I know u ladies will welcome me anywhere,but which board is for pple like us?Thanx.Skye


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## Nikki

Hi Skye,

Come and join us on the secondary infertility thread. Some of the women there have a different partner to the one they had their child(ren) with. It doesn't make any difference to the way you feel about ttc. I'm sure you can post on more than one board though.

Look forward to chatting with you in the future.
All best,
Nikki


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## Bunjack

hi - sorry new here - could someone post the link again as I'd like to have a look
Thanks


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## steph33

hi girls 
ive posted on a couple of different post 
as i am new to this and not totally sure how things work but i have been welcomed so much on each posting 
i too have a dd from a previouse relationship although i had preeclampsia with her  i conceived after only missing 4 of my pill and wasnt even ttc 
although my DP of 7 yrs loves my DD as if she was his own due to her birth father not wanting to know her he is one of those who wants to b a dad wen he has a girlfriend so he can show her off then drop her but i have to leave the choice of seeing him to my DD 
it seems so unfair that i am now in such a loving supportive and very close relationship  with my DP that we carnt seem to share somthing so special 
wen i was pg with my DD i had all my appointments with my mum at my side but now i long for the day that i can share those special moments with my DD


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## suziq

Hi Steph31 i know exactly how you feel. I have two teenagers from my first marriage and was ttc for 5 years with my DH who took my kids on and is a great dad to them. I have been really lucky and am 6 weeks pregnant with my first ivf. Please keep positive because as i know miracles can happen!


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## lauraj78

Hi I'm Laura and I'm 27 and have been ttc for 3 years now.  I have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship.  I have been diagnosed with pcos.  I have been booked in for a ovarian drilling in June so hopefully it'll work!
It's comforting to know that there is other people in the same boat.

Laura x


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## steph33

congratulations on ur bfp just shows it can happen wen i read other peoples stories on how long they have been trying 4.5 yrs doesnt seam long so fingers crossed it may work for me yet

well done and look after self 
steph


suziq said:


> Hi Steph31 i know exactly how you feel. I have two teenagers from my first marriage and was ttc for 5 years with my DH who took my kids on and is a great dad to them. I have been really lucky and am 6 weeks pregnant with my first ivf. Please keep positive because as i know miracles can happen!


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## Minniemoo

Hello all,

Can I join you?  
I am going to update my signature but briefly I am 35 (well almost 36) Hubby 37. I have a 14 yr old son from previous marriage. DH and I have been trying for 4 years to have a child of our own. Had 3 x IUI , waste of time as DH has antisperm antibodies. Had ICSI in March 05...got a positive but miscarried at 6 weeks. We are due our Consultation appt with the London Womens Clinic and The Cromwell on 22nd Nov. We are considering the 3 cycles for the price of 2. Just waiting on a clear smear!! 

Hope I can get to know you all

Luv Minniemoo xxx


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## emilycaitlin

Hi Minniemoo,

Welcome to the site and the thread.  I hope all your treatment goes well for you, give me a shout if there is anything you need, Mrs Chaos runs a 2ndry infertility chat night on Thursdays, keep an eye out for it xxx


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## Minniemoo

Thanks Emily...still finding my way about at the moment. In fact I forgot where I posted and it took me ages to find it again!!  
Will check out the chat nite for sure!

Thanks again  

Luv Minniemoo xxx


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## Sally40

Dear all I am a newbie aswell. Just about to embark on IVF in Switzerland so more than a little nervous. Also I have had a hair sample back from Foresight- charity in UK saying low in various minerals etc esp zinc and selenium fairly impt for pregnancy and to prevent miscarriage. Does anyone know if u can take lots of vits and have IVF. Will ask consultant but just wondering?


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## Han72

Hi Sally

I'm in France too, I went on the boots website and ordered a shedload of pregnacare one a day vits. They have everything you need for pre-conception, right the way up to breastfeeding. I don't know if you can get them delivered here, I had mine delivered to my parents address in the UK and then picked them up the last time I went there, but you could give it a try....?

Nix
xxx


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## drownedgirl

Sally40 said:


> Dear all I am a newbie aswell. Just about to embark on IVF in Switzerland so more than a little nervous. Also I have had a hair sample back from Foresight- charity in UK saying low in various minerals etc esp zinc and selenium fairly impt for pregnancy and to prevent miscarriage. Does anyone know if u can take lots of vits and have IVF. Will ask consultant but just wondering?


It would be best to make sure you are getting a balance. The Marilyn Glanville vitamins plus vit C and fishoils/udos oil are what my acupuncturist recommends and gives a good dose of stuff like zinc but in a balanced format.


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## nannieanne

I´, here for my daughter who has a gorgeous 3 year old sone but has been trying unsuccessfully for almost 2 years for the second. She an her DH have been to the Hammersmith and had all the tests which have come out fine so no known problem. In some ways it makes it even harder for her when there seems to be no reason. She gets very down each month with each new "failure". I´m 100% behind them and try to be sympathetic and helpful but just don´t know how to help. I think they will try a few more months "naturally" then off for IVF. Pity it´s so expensive and me and my DH are pensioners so we can´t help financially. I think I´ll come over to the UK (we live in Spain) if they start IVF to help look after their DS and to be around if it doesn´t work and maybe take her mind off things a bit. Perhaps do some shopping!! Actually that´s more thereapy for me as all the ex-pats here miss the UK shops. Good luck to all you brave people.


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## Jayne B

Hello, hope you don't mind if I join in.  Not sure if I fit into secondary infertility, or where really.  Had unexplained infertility for 5 1/2 yrs, after a long journey, many tests, Chlomid, IUI, decided after much heart search to adopt.  Did all the adoption work, form F etc, approved to go to panel May 06 then found out was 3 months pregnant (had no idea, why would I be pregnant, just would be impossible!)  our son born Oct 06 exactly a year to date of adoption course!!!

We are so blessed and each day I am blown away by the gift of him.  We never started on contraceptives again, so it's a year on and we are not pregnant, although I did breastfeed for 8 months so have only had 4 periods.  Feel guilty for wanting another baby after so many people are left wanting.  Is it wrong to want another baby at some stage??  Is anyone else in same situation? I do feel guilty to at some time desire another baby.  Can you believe when son was 3 months old people were asking when we were having another.  some things never change.  xx Jayne


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## Jane D

Jayne

Do not feel guilty for wanting another baby.  Everyone should be able to have as many children as they want in this world.  I have a dd who is nearly 3 and she is everything to me.  I have many reasons for wanting another - sibling for her, want to experience motherhood again, want to add a new person to my family (no one else in our immediate family has kids, sis in law has health problems, brother has no kids), and last of all in my list of priorities, to get nosey insensitive people off my back who ask when I am having another or assume everyone in the world has 2 or more kids.  I am in limbo at the mo, on my fifth month of Clomid.  Next month is crunch month when they up the stakes and I get into IUI and IVF territory.  I have to try everything, at least once to say I tried.  I am 36 now, and I assumed I would have kids late like my mum and my nana and my cousin.  I have problems with ovulation which Clomid has fixed, but I still cant get pregnant.  I feel this coming year is the year to come to some conclusion and then move on.  I either get pregnant or I am told that I cannot have any more kids.My parents are brilliant and tell me
they will help me financially.  They tell me inspirational stories about one child families they know and how only children have gone on to have kids and then loads of grand kids.  It is nice to have siblings, but here's a tale, my mum is one of 3, (has 2 brothers), has not spoken or seen either of them since monumental fall out 12 years ago when my nana died.  Some people have better friends than siblings. Siblings are good as play mates when you are young and are maybe useful for helping with elderly relatives later and to share memories of childhood with . However in my mums case, she got no help from her brothers anyway when my nana was older.  I just pray that my little girl stays close to me and never has an unresolved feud with me.  
I wish everyone here much success in their journeys.

Love to you all

Jane


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## rtsaintly

I think this is amazing. I can feel really selfish talking about how I feel when I know there are women who dont have children at all. Its good to be around people who understand that. Thanks


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## biscuitbunny

Been reading your posts with tears in my eyes, im 32yrs old i have 2sons from previous relationship, been married and trying for another child for 5yrs without any luck, only just started on the road of help as the docs blamed my weight, lost 6st in last 12 months, hubbys sperm ok, got initial appointment at LWH on the 19th nov.Like many of you friends and family all seem to be pregnant, i see pregnant women everywere i go!!!! find myself looking in mothercare and babies r us all the time!!! Hopefully we will have our little bundle one day soon but i know now that this site will be a great source of support and info for us>thanks guys xxxxx


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## SUSZY

Dear Girls
You are adding to quite an old thread here, why not come over to the secondary if daily chat thread, there are lots of us at all different stages of tx but we are all in the same boat and you can really relax over there and you don't have to post every day!

We all seem to have had the same issues and are put on the same path six months clomid (which I hated and mucked me up) then three IUIS and then three IVFS, as we were running out of time and after no initial fertility problems and two quick m/c and failed clomid and one failed iui and mentioning FF the cons suddenly starts talking about ivf with donor eggs.  After lots of heartache and discussion and searching on FF we decided on the donor route and by some miracle I met a wonderful person on here who has offered me her eggs and we are 11 days away from EC. Its been a long hard journey and please to go 2ww member diaries under IVF if you want to see more but I could not have done it with FF esp the 2ndry IF thread- I have others that have been greatly supportive but you really can just let it all hang on out the 2ndry chat thread.

Good luck on your journeys girls and please come over as not sure how many check this thread.

love

susie


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## crazybabe

hi Laineylou

Can you help, i have been advised to ask you a question, i'm off the Nov/Dec 2ww thread, had my EC on wed last week and had ET on fri now have 2 embies on board.  I have just noticed this eveing that when i went to the loo, when i wiped it was orange colour on toilet paper, do you think this would still be spotting from the treatment or anything to be worried about.

thanks

crazybabe


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## PINNEY

Cherub75 said:


> Hi Brigitte,
> 
> Welcome to FF's, you'll soon be addicted
> 
> Please don't beat yourself up over how you are feeling, its totallay understandable. I too have a 6 yr old DS and find it hard to deal with people getting pg or having babies around me, and I too feel eternally grateful that I have my DS, but I still have that longing for a sibling for him.
> 
> Sorry to hear you've had to abandon , but hope your dream will happenone day.
> 
> Take care
> 
> Emma xx


 Its so good to find a web site with people like us,who understand how it feels to have one child and are unavaliable to concieve a second time.My partner and I have been trying for nearly five years,we were refered to our local Gynae clinic where I was able to try Clomid for 6 months,I only lasted 3 as it made me unbearable,I became very depressed and turned into a complete monster so I made the desision not to take any more,as I want my only son to have a nice mummy not a nasty one. We were then told our only other option is IVF,after a long discussion with my partner we decided against thisas I have a very good friend who has just gone through this and I have see the heart ache and stress first hand. The only thing the doctors have told us is that my partners sperm is slightly sluggish and there is nothing else wrong. Thank you for a wondeful web site and I hope I can get things off my chest with people who realy do GET IT!


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## carol28

I am 28.  I had my dd when I was 23.  Re married, m/c at 25, trying to conceive since, diagnosed with ENDO before xmas and doctor told me any chance I would have of getting pregnant would be through ivf  , Tried clomid for 3 months, didn't work.  I am about to try ivf in next few weeks.

I will only have 1 cycle, its too stressful.  My DH is fab and loves my daughter as she was his own.  People keep saying that at least I have her - but I want more children, I don't want my choices taken away from me.  I want my husband to experience the joys of the moments when they first hand you your baby and the rush of love you feel for them, the first smile, laugh, words, steps.

I also feel guilty for being upset about this when some people here have no children at all  .


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## Han72

Hi Carol hon

just a quickie as didn't want to read and run! This is quite an old thread as has been mentioned previously, did you want to pop over to the newbies thread or the secondary fertility daily chat thread which is here
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=44.0

Take care honey and by the way, I think it's perfectly natural that you would want more children! I'm an only child and I would have loved to have brothers and sisters but it wasn't to be, so don't feel bad for wanting to give your dd siblings!

xxx


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## kshare

I am an American woman living in France with my French husband. I have a history of gynecological problems, high risk pregnancy, complications, one live birth, traumatic birth experience, and secondary infertility. 

This is my story.

FIBROIDS
I was diagnosed with fibroids in December 2000. This was after feeling unexplained pain in my abdomen over a period of several months. They grew quickly and out of no where. I had never had any gynecological problems before this. I was told by a doctor that this may have been brought on by sudden use of the pill after many years of using other birth control.

After being told I couldnt get pregnant without having surgery, I stopped using birth control. 3 months later I discovered I was 8 weeks pregnant in 2002.  How could I be 8 weeks pregnant and not know it you may ask? I had a period during this time. I was told I couldnt get pregnant, and had had an injection of a drug to stop ovulation before surgery to reduce the size of the fibroids to make them easier to remove.

THE PREGNANCY
I was told by 2 doctors that I could have a miscarriage at any time due to the fibroids. I had a high risk pregnancy and was stressed about it for most of my pregnancy.  I had some bleeding at 3 months and at 5 and a half months. The later due to unprotected sex and the sperm causing contractions. We were told no sex until delivery.

THE BIRTH
My birth experience was a very difficult one. I had a cesarean at a Clinic in Paris, France where I live. This was due to the breach position of the baby. No other options were offered, and I was told by my doctor that it was no big deal. She had had 4 herself! My daughter was born 10 days early but healthy and normal.
I on the other hand didnt do so well.  

COMPLICATIONS
Approximately 1 hour after the birth I went into shock due to excessive bleeding. The cause was the inability of my uterus to contract normally due to several fibroids.
The clinic was not equipped to handle any medical emergency. Of course, this kind of complication happens very rarely these days in Europe! I was told only one in 2000 births in France. However, it is still very common in third world countries. I now regret that I didnt give birth at a hospital well equipped with emergency services. The delay of over an hour waiting for the emergency transfer nearly cost me my life.
I went into shock. I was extremely cold and shaking all over. I could see the worry on the doctors face. My husband was asked to leave the room. 

EMERGENCY PROCEDURES
I received blood transfusions, and was transferred to a nearby Hospital where I underwent 2 additional procedures, and nearly died. 
One called Uterine Embolization, commonly used in France to stop post partum hemorrhage http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=ufe&bhcp=1
and the second an emergency Hysterectomy, which was interrupted when the surgeon discovered I was no longer bleeding. I had earlier in the pregnancy expressed to my doctor my desire for a second child, and that I wanted to keep my uterus at all costs. After a day of touch and go, I was put into a forced coma for 4 days.
When I awoke in the middle of the night I was alone in a strange room with orange walls. My hands were tied to the bed. I couldnt move, I couldnt speak or call out. I was so thirsty! I tried to call out but no one heard me. I drifted back to sleep. Nightmares haunted me for the rest of the night. 
I spent another 4 days in ICU, and then was moved to the Maternity ward for an additional 6 days. I was not able to see my daughter during the 8 days in the ICU, and it took a lot of negotiating in order to have her admitted as a patient so I could be with her. I could not breast feed. My milk never came in. Due to the shock the doctors said. I was still in a state of emotional shock. No one ever told me I could die. The worst thing I thought could happen was lose the baby.

RECOVERY
I was released after 14 days in the hospital. When I left, I was told that now I am just like any other mother who had a c section. I was told to go home, forget what happened and enjoy my baby.

I wish it had been that simple.

For the next 6 weeks I slowly got my strength back and had help from family and my husband. Then the sympathy wore off. I was expected to get on with it, which I did.
I bleed for 6 weeks, 8 weeks, and was told at my 2 month follow up appointment that it was normal.
I was still bleeding at 3 months. Then it turned into a discharge that was unfamiliar. This continued for several months after. I had been told that this can happen with ambulations. I saw my local gynecologist and I had it tested. The test came back inconclusive. This is when I discovered that doctors were not familiar with the consequences of uterine ambulation, even though they are practiced in France. Eventually the discharge disappreared.

DIAGNOSIS
I started to really worry when my daughters first birthday came and went and I had not had a period. I was not breastfeeding and there was no reason I shouldnt menstruate. I had a few drops of blood at about 6 months and then nothing. Could I be in premature menopause?
I went back to the gynecologist who was not a specialist by any means. She said dont worry. I was too young to be in menopause. It was probably a result of the trauma.
15 months no period. I made an appointment with a specialist who deals with fibroids. Had my hormones tested. I was not menopausal.
I was referred to another specialist at a hospital that does ambulations. A sample was taken of my uterine lining. Ouch! The tests came back with unidentified substance. More worries. Surgery was scheduled to look inside uterus.

INFERTILITY
This is when I was hit by the infertility diagnosis. The ambulisation had damaged my uterine lining to the point that no mucus was growing in some places. I could not have any more children. You can always do a surrogate the doctor said, even though it is illegal in France. I was distraught.  Even though I knew something was wrong, I didnt imagine that irreparable damage had been done to my uterus. My husband didnt react. He seemed un fazed by the diagnosis.

LOOKING FOR A CURE
Maybe it is because I am American. Maybe I am stubborn. Maybe I was in denial. For what ever reason, I could not accept this diagnosis. I went from doctor to doctor looking for another answer.
I tried every Hospital in Paris specializing in reproductive medicine and IVF. I saw specialists recommended by other women struggling with infertility. I had 2 more surgeries and several painful tests. I tried vitamin E, hormones and drug treatments. Nothing worked. No period. I had my hormones checked again. Normal.

EMOTIONS
After a year of this, I was told by the top doctor at the top hospital that nothing more could be done. It was finished for me. As long as I had no period, they could not help me.
I went home and cried. Not for the first time of course.
I saw a psychiatrist. He told me that having a second baby was not the cure for my birth trauma. I couldnt undo the experience. There would be no second chance.

I tried to accept that I would have an only child. But, somewhere in the back of my mind I longed for a second. My daughters birthdays came and went. Then Christmas and my birthday. One year older. My eggs getting older. One step closer to death. I realize this sounds deranged to anyone who has not suffered from a trauma or infertility. These were my feelings.

I didnt like to take my daughter to the park. I was confronted with pregnant women, women with babies and families with multiple children. I felt empty, sad, jealous and sorry for myself. I kept everything boxed up in the basement, from my daughters baby clothes to her toys and bottles. I wasnt ready to give them away. That was too final. I lived on the hope of a miracle. I even prayed for a miracle at church. 

Other women told me of other miracles. Pregnancy after multiple miscarriages, after years of endometriosis, or IVF treatments. This only gave me false hope and fueled my denial. I know they meant well. What else were they to say? Telling a woman who just miscarried, that she can always have another, does not ease her pain. Telling me that I am lucky to have one, does nothing but make me feel guilty for my desire for another. Secondary infertility gets no sympathy.

Doctors even told me that if I were childless, they would do everything in their power to help me. But, since I already had a child, I should go home and be happy that I had one. Do you know how many women sit in that chair and cry because they are childless (You selfish woman is what I heard).

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
On a trip back home, I spoke to an old friend about my gynecological problems. She suggested that I try an acupuncturist she knew and saw for her heath problems. Why not, I thought. It couldnt hurt. I had a few treatments and took the herbs she prescribed for several months. There was no change.

Then, a few months later, blood. Not a normal period by any means, but something. I didnt get too excited because it could be just be a one off. Next month the same thing, and then the next and the next. Every month for a few days a very light flow of blood, brownish in color. Not like before, but something. New hope. Maybe it wasnt too late for me. Maybe I was slowly recovering. More hormone tests. Still acceptable FSH (10).
I started charting my periods and having sex accordingly. Nothing. Each month when my period came, I felt disappointment, sadness, frustration. Maybe next month I thought.

It has now been more than 18 months and still no change. I know consciously that I will never conceive again. I am getting older by the day, and am now in my 40s. Yet, there is still a very small hope somewhere hidden away, that one day a miracle will happen. I still take my herbs and chart. Acceptance. I work on this everyday.

LIFE AFTER INFERTILITY
My husband has finally agreed to an adoption. He was also in a sort of denial about my infertility. But we both want a second child, and have come to terms with our situation. After talking about it for several years we have made the decision to go ahead.

Adoption is not an easy alternative. We are in the beginning stages of the paperwork gathering and with all the choices to make and costs, I am reminded how easy and cheap it is to just have a baby your self.

I have joined a Yahoo adoption group and seek support and advice from others who are on the same path as us. The adoption is now my new obsession, taking up my time and my thoughts. I imagine what our child will be like and how he will fit into our life, our home, our family. I am anxious to have him here with us and to share my love with another child.

Thank you for letting me share my story.  It helps me to write, and read others postings.

/links


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## missyb

hi karen!


im so sorry that you have had such a traumatic time   i just wanted to say hi and blow you some bubbles to get you started. i wanted to wish you all of the best on your journey. the girls on the secondary thread have been a life saver to me so why dont you come and join us on the daily messages


love

amanda xx


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## sentor09

Hi
Pleased to find this site I started the subject 'starting the procedure for the first time' as I was feeling so stressed last week.  I have the same wonderful husband (together 17 yrs, married 10) and a soon to be 10 yr old who is lovely! But I have spent my thirties trying to get pregnant and spent so much money on healing, de-stressing etc.  I will be 40 in Sept and I am more desparate than ever.  I am so angry when people get preganant and I ache every month.  We are starting IVF on 20th April and I am off work for a month so I am going to rest.  We have had 3 failed IUI and there is nothing wrong with either of us.  I want to move on with my life.  Good luck to all of you. lov Sentor x


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## missyb

hi sentor

im so sorry that you have spent your 30's on the ttc rollercoster. i dont know how you have kept your sanity as ive only been trying for 2 1/2 years and im   than ever! i thought i'd blow you some bubbles to get you started and tell you about the daily messages secondary thread. the girls on there are fab and have helped me thru some tough times. good luck with your tx hun.


amanda xx


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## mummytoaidy

Hi every one I'm new to this, I'm 22 got a little boy who is 4 now ( had him at 1. My husband and i have been together 6yrs in Aug and married 8 months.

my husband and i have been trying for 3 years now, was told for a year nothing was wrong and that it was just period pain in my front, i got so fed up with it i went back and i got seen by a consultant in Nov 08 and had surgery 2 weeks later ( laprascopic) to see what was going on down there. I came round and they told me nothing was wrong .... Dec 08 i had my 2nd miscarriage 1 week b4 Xmas i was gutted , had to go up the hospital and have a scan , the lady told me i had a 4cm cyst on my left ovary ... i was gobsmacked as you can imagine considering i had surgery 4 weeks before and was told i had IBS ( irritable bowl syndrome) .. 

i had my follow up app in Jan 09 wit the surgeon and i asked him about it , he said oh yes there was a cyst there but it will go on its own.. i felt like no one cared i was only in there 5 minutes it was joke. 
just before the Feb half term i was i serve pain and went to see my doc , they sent me straight to the hospital for a scan i turned out my cyst had burst and i just had to take it easy for a few days .. For 2 years i had pain every day and no one would listen it was silly . felt like i was making it up . when i saw the consultant in Jan 09 he said if we hadn't conceived by July 09 then we could start treatment he didn't tell me what treatment just treatment.. its a joke feel like because i all ready have a child i get pushed back . is there any advice you Lady's can give me , i feel at a loss at the moment as no one will listen. 

i have been given a choice to go on a low dose of aspirin to cut the chance of miscarrage but because I'm always 3 weeks wen i have them i don't know I'm pregnant .. PLASES HELP


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## mykonos

Gosh that's very harsh...i notice you wrote tht in april i hope you have had more constructive advice by now x x


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## nott

i have 2 children from previous partner who are 21 and 18 been with my current partner 5 yrs he has no children. initially the problem lied with him he has blocked tubes.  when we started ivf i discovered my egg quality wasnt that good.  we have had 4 attempts and the last one just recently my eggs had a lot of fragmentation so have no chance of a pregnancy.  now considering de in czec although already done de previously which failed so makes me wonder will it ever happen.  it is so frustrating all i want is to have a baby with my partner and it just doenst seem to be happening.  i am blessed and lucky to already have 2 when most on hear are trying for years and have none,but my partner has none which makes this journey even harder.


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## alisonbthny

nott said:


> i have 2 children from previous partner who are 21 and 18 been with my current partner 5 yrs he has no children. initially the problem lied with him he has blocked tubes. when we started ivf i discovered my egg quality wasnt that good. we have had 4 attempts and the last one just recently my eggs had a lot of fragmentation so have no chance of a pregnancy. now considering de in czec although already done de previously which failed so makes me wonder will it ever happen. it is so frustrating all i want is to have a baby with my partner and it just doenst seem to be happening. i am blessed and lucky to already have 2 when most on hear are trying for years and have none,but my partner has none which makes this journey even harder.


hi nott im in similer place as u i have 3 girls from my ex 10 8 and 5
been with my hubby for 5 years and he also has not children and has low count and mobility 
we got told we need ivf and icsi and cant have it on nhs cos i already have children
we have are 1st consaltation on 25th sept and plan treatment in jan


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## nott

hi alison good luck with your first icsi your going to need it, this is one of the most stressful things i have ever gone through and very emotional.  i so hope your first attempt works for you as the financial burden is horrendous.  i was lucky to have 1 attempt on the nhs as i told them none of my children lived with me a little white lie.  do some research on hear cause i found loads of information that the doctors dont tell you.  also see if your surgery will fund your drugs my surgery and i no a few others agreed to fund drugs for 2 atempts but again depends where you live but no harm in asking.  also after 5 attempts i have now found a drug that i could have taken that may have helped my egg quality which docs failed to mention.


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