# Advice needed...



## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Hello everyone.  I'm hoping that I'm posting in the right place, but if not, please excuse me.

I am a surrogate who is happily matched with a married couple.  I am looking forwards to after I have completed working with this family, and I have received a phone call enquiring whether I can help.

This is the situation...

He is a gay single man, not in a relationship.  He wants a child, but wants to use an egg donor who he knows, and obviously a surrogate (hence his call to me).  He asks me if I know any clinic who will help him.  

I have done some investigation work and found many clinics who openly advertise as treating single women, but as yet, none who seem happy to treat a single man.

I do not know as yet whether I will help this man, but without a clinic, I don't think anyone will. 

Does anyone here have any experience of this situation?  I would be interested to hear how you got round this issue (if indeed you managed to).

Many thanks.


Amanda


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Amanda - what a wonderful gift you are doing. I think maybe contact Nat Gamble the FF lawyer she also posts on here,I'd be very interested to hear any replies.

There have been some similar posts on the surrogacy threads 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=18402.0
or
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=101188.0

Best of luck
L X


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Interesting question.  

There is absolutely nothing to stop fertility clinics treating a single man (and even a positive obligation not to discriminate).  However, there are some very difficult legal complications with surrogacy for single or gay men regarding parenthood.  

The law states that a child's mother is the woman who carries him/ her and that means that if you use an egg donor as a surrogate, she will be the child's legal mother at birth.  If she is married, her husband will be the legal father, rather than the biological/ intended father.

A parental order is the normal mechanism for resolving these issues and reassigning legal parenthood from the surrogate and her husband to the intended parents.  

However, as the law stands, you can only apply for a parental order if you are a married couple.  The new law will change this to include unmarried and gay couples, but not single men.

There are alternative ways of securing parenthood in surrogacy situations using adoption law, but it's a very tricky legal area, as there is a risk of committing a criminal offence if you pay anything (including expenses) to a surrogate with the intention of adopting 'her' child, and a separate criminal offence if you privately arrange an adoption with her.

There are some ways around these problems if you organise things properly at the start, but you do need to take enormous care.  I've advised in one similar situation, but this is something that is still very rare and almost completely untested in the courts.  

Natalie
[email protected]


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Thanks Nat.

This is indeed a very tricky situation and not one I would rush to join.  


I am so glad I posted now and not after involvement.




Amanda


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Amanda

Don't want to put you (or anyone else) off entirely.  There are ways of doing - you just need to take advice at the outset, that's all.

Natalie


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

Thanks for this Nat.

Its good to know that there are ways around it, just it needs more forward planning.


Amanda


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