# Newbie - 3rd time unlucky :-(



## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Hello All, 

I am a newbie on the FF forum's found out yesterday another BFN this is my third time 1st fresh cycle and 2 frozen all were Blast embies so was told that I had a really high chance of success which really built our hopes up but seems to get harder to cope with each time it fails. On the plus side we still have 3 frozen and will keep trying just really hard to stay positive. 
I was just wondering if this is quite common with Blast transfers and if anyone had experienced the same.  
It is good to come on here helps you realise that you are not the only one in the world going through this nightmare. 

Anyway good luck to all xxx


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## kateharts (Feb 3, 2010)

didnt want to read and run!

I have only had one dissapointment so far and I know how hard that was, it felt like my world collapsed around me so I know how awful you must be feeling right now.

Try and think of the positives (3 frozen!) and remember it will only take one of those to stick!

Sending you hugs 

K x


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## Nordickat (Feb 6, 2009)

Oh Moonshine, its so hard to feel positive when you have only just had your BFN. Give yourself some time and you will start to feel positive again and find some faith in those little frosties. Its just luck of the draw if it works or not and there is absolutely no reason at all for you not to be lucky next time.
I hope its 3rd time lucky with frosties for you. That seems lucky to me, 3 frosties and 3 frostie cycles     

Be kind to yourself for a while first though, 
Katxxx

PS. Now you have found FF, you'll have some cycle buddies and that always helps you stay positive


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## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Ah thanks girls for your comments, I am feeling much better today think it takes a few days to sink in feeling more positive and realise I am lucky to even have 3 some people don't even get to tha stage.... I am going to the coast today with my hubby and doggies should take my mind of things and I nice cold glass of wine i think. 

I think i will take your advise and look for a cycle buddies for next time as it can be a very lonely journey as I am on the natural cycle the clinic have suggested I get straight on with it again on my next cycle as it only means a scan on day 10, gonna have a think over the weekend not sure if I feel ready yet. 

Best of luck to you both xxxx


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Hi Moonshine, 

I was in exactly your position and had one fresh and 2 FET with blasts all negative, for my final attempt I had some immune tests done and found I had slightly elevated NK cells  so this time I am taking steroids and finally got a BFP! Whether it would have worked anyway I'll never know but I felt better changing things,

As I had medicated FET I took quite a long break between the last cycle in november and this one in May- I think I needed a rest from all the drugs, I know natural is easier but I still think having a break can help- the embies aren't going anywhere and it is a lot to get you head round and to psych yourself up for, I also talked to a counsellor before starting again as I was just really scared and I think that helped too, 

It is so horrible getting BFN's especially when you have good blastocycsts and everything seems fine, that's why I asked for tests- 

If you want to message me about anything do, 

enjoy the coast today! 

Livity x


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## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Hi Livity 

Congrats on your news that is excellent so pleased for you and you have given me some hope, on my 2nd negative cycle the clinic agreed to the immune testing not sure exactly what they tested for but they came back clear they dont explain things very well they just looked at me as if I was crazy as i still have 3 frozen and told me to keep trying. 

I was thinking about the counselling my husband thinks it will do me good think i will phone the clinic in the morning and discuss.

I think we will go for the natural again as the drugs just tired me out so much. 

Thanks again for your advise and good luck on your pregnancy. xxx


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## gingerbreadgirl (Mar 31, 2007)

Hi Moonshine
Grrr just typed a response and it disappeared   
I just wanted to send you a hug    It is sooooo gutting when it doesnt work, and i am sorry you are having to go through this. I completely understand your frustrations re blastos - we have had 14 put back to date. Apparently we are just unlucky    But dont be freaked by our lack of success. I am sure you will have your BFP soon, just have a break and be kind to yourselves, go back for those little frosties and you may find they stick just fine    It is good that you have had some tests that came back normal. And counselling can be very beneficial so why not go speak to somebody. You really will feel better in time. You wont forget but you will be stronger and feel ready to face the next stage of your treatment. It is important not to lose hope. And dont go through your next cycle alone - FF cycle buddies keep you sane   

Take care of yourself
GG
xxxx


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## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Hi GG 

Wow you have been through it 14 times you are a very strong person and think it is wonderful you remain so positive like you say if we keep trying we will all get there in the end it is just soooo frustrating that they cant tell you the reason's why I think that is what makes a BFN so hard to except. 

I think it's all the added pressure of trying to juggle IVF with day to day life and especially work. 

I have spoken to the clinic and my hubby and we are going for the natural cycle again this month have my day 10 scan on Thursday and the ET around the 22nd, I am so impatient couldn't give myself a few months off, I am going to ask about conselling today. 

When are you looking at trying again? 

Take Care 
xxxxxx


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## Ansjer (Jun 1, 2010)

Hi
This is the first time I have posted! I just had a bfn after 2nd ivf attempt!  It is very hard to see the good in things at times.  Don't know about any of you but do you feel very tired? Is this a responce to coming of all the meds or the pressure of trying to stay positive?  
Now have to wait until the next atttempt, at least it means we can keep on saving.
We have some 2 frozen but I don't know if my husband would prefer to try again rather than use the frozen.
Also just wondering if anyone has had counselling and if this helped?
Thanks
x


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## gingerbreadgirl (Mar 31, 2007)

Hi Moonshine
I understand your impatience to get right back on that horse    I've been there many a time! Just to clarify I have had 7 transfers (2 fresh 5 frozen) and they put back two blastos each time (so 14 embies in total). I wouldnt say I am super positive about it working for us right now, but I do have hope that we will be parents one day (even naturally!). We are having a break for now (the ERPC took its toll and we both agreed to take some time to experience something other than IVF in our lives - it was becoming a bit all consuming). We have a follow up this month (on the 22nd as it goes) so we will see how we feel after that. I must admit Im not relishing the thought of another load of drugs etc so probably best to leave it until I feel ready for the onslaught    Completely agree about work and IVF. Since all this madness started for us I have been doing contract work, I just couldnt keep doing my permanent full time job was way too stressful. Are there other ways you could work, maybe something a bit more flexible? Good for you re counselling its definitely worth looking into it, you have nothing to lose.
Best of luck with this new cycle      it really could be the one! How exciting! You should join a cycle buddies thread for july testers and go through the 2ww madness in good company!
GG
xx

PS Hi Ansjer, agreed, I havent had any treatment for months and I still feel absolutely exhausted! I think it is all the anxiety and emotions. Sorry to hear about your BFN   Hopefully you can agree an approach with your DH that makes you both feel in control and positive about your next attempt. xx


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## kirst01 (Sep 10, 2009)

Hi

This is our 3rd fresh cycle in 8 months, my other 2 times I had 2 excellent blasts put back and had BFN. We were also told we are just unlucky   . It is such a hard journey, and we have now decided that this is our last go. Funds and emothions are saying no more. We are opting to have a 3 day transfer this time instead of going to blast, maybe trying something different could make a difference- I doubt it but its worth a try.
It is really really hard, but hopefully we will all get our BFP's this cycle

xxx


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## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Hi 

GG - I am sorry you have had so much bad luck, keep me posted on how it goes on the 22nd, I wish my clinic would transfer 2 blast but they said defo No No... it is so annoying that every clinic has a different policy. I know how you feel re the drugs etc this is why I went for the natural cycle I could stand feeling rough and tired it is exhausting felt much better on natural but apparently the success rates are the same for both. Enjoy yourself for a while. I am trying to remain positive for this cycle but is so hard. 
Regarding work I am quite lucky as I can work from home a couple of days a week just find it tricky as most of the time you dont know the exact date on ET so it is hard to plan appointments etc also I have not told my manager as he does not understand he never ever wants children so I have just told him I have "womens problems" and have to have regular scans at the hospital and he never ask's about it lol  


Ansjer - I know exactly how you are feeling was there myself last week, you will feel better in a few days I do think the tiredness is down to the drugs and also AF it is absolutley shattering I dont think anyone can possibly understand how you feel mentally and physically unless you have been through it. is a natural cycle a possibilty at your clinic? if so I would reccommend it as obviously there are no real side effects. 

Take Care of yourselves xxx


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## mammamia12 (Feb 1, 2010)

Hi Ladies, 

Do you mind if I join you?

I've just had another neg cycle too, like kirst01 this was my 3rd in about 9 months - hard going!    That totals 6 cycles in all -1 successful pregnancy, 1 m/c and 4 unsuccesful cycles so it's getting harder to carry on...maybe Dh and I are thinking it would be time to accept we are going to be a family of 3 but our DS keeps asking when we're getting a baby so the journey continues I guess....

I will need to egg-share again and am unsure how long I need to wait after this AF to start again.....I suspect about 2 or 3 cycles but at the moment I'm just trying to enjoy stepping off the rollercoaster for a few weeks....going to get drunk tomorrow watching  Big Brother and just enjoy 'being normal' for a bit....

Take Care everyone....

Mia x


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## Ansjer (Jun 1, 2010)

Morning, 

Thanks Moonshine for your message.  It is nice to get a positive message from someone else who knows how this all makes us feel.  Not sure about the natural cycle, not heard of that before, is that something to do with the eggs we have frozen?  Gosh seems still lots to know along this journey.  I just keep thinking that for us in this crazy journey imagine what good parents we will eventually be, how much we will really appreciate it all.

Mia - Hi, funny I was thinking that this year I would succumb to Big Brother, managed to avoid it the last time but I really think this might be the perfect way to take my mind of it all!  

We will get there 
x


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## gingerbreadgirl (Mar 31, 2007)

Hi Mia
Sorry to hear about your BFN    3 cycles in 9 months sounds intense. I know how you feel about it getting harder to carry on. I keep waiting for the excitement of the prospect of another go but so far it has eluded me. I just feel numb when I think about starting a new cycle, which is how I know im just not ready to do it again. I hope it comes back (the anticipation) really i do. Seems little point in doing it otherwise... I cant imagine how hard it is to have your DS ask for a baby brother or sister... I completely agree with Ansjer, I may also indulge in a bit of BB this year! It is the last one after all!   

Hi Ansjer
A natural cycle is where they put the frozen embryos back on your natural cycle on eg day 5 after ovulation (if blastocycts). It is the alternative to a medicated cycle where you down reg and then they control your cycle to have the embryos put back. I completely agree with Moonshine about it being much better. All of my FETs have been natural except for one medicated cycle which took an incredible 7 weeks from start to finish, and still had a BFN! All the pigging drugs and scans for nothing! I am not sure about success rates but my clinic said they prefer to do medicated cycles as they can control it a bit better (ie lining of womb, dates etc). You should speak to your clinic about it defo.

Hi Kirst01
Best of luck with your new cycle - I agree, sometimes doing something different can make all the difference! Fingers crossed     

Hi Moonshine
Hope you are feeling ok and positive about your transfer this month. Not long to go     

GG
xx


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## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Hi All, 

Well I am enjoying my last few weeks of freedom before the dreaded 2WW starts again, going out this weekend to watch the world cup and enjoy a glass or 2 of wine. Not sure if I feel positive just trying not to obsess to much this time altough I am normally ok until the waiting beings that is when I go crazy! lol 

Mia, Enjoy BB and getting drunk have some fun before the rollercoaster starts again, I hate that we all have to go through this when it should be the most natural thing in the world life is bloody cruel sometimes I just hope and pray that we all get there in the end. 

Ansjer, I was the same as GG and when I had my medicated cycle it took a total of 7 weeks in total by the time I had ET I was so drained and never wanted to go through that again the drugs made me so tired, I was lucky that my clinic now opens at the weekends so regardless of what day ovualtion falls on they can fit us in, they only really do this is you have a regular cycle, it is definatly something to talk to your clinic about as you can just carry on as normal until the ET oh and you just have a day 10 scan. Good Luck! xx


Kirst01 - I think the day 3 is defo worth a try, I get confused on all this blast stuff they tell you that you have a higher success rate but I am not so sure esp with the frozen one's i find that everyone has a different opinion on blast and day 3 embies, i suposse we just got to keep going. 

Well 2 weeks to go for me got my day 10 scan tomorrow so fingers crossed everything will be looking as should be, here we go again. 

Take Care all xxxxx


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## mammamia12 (Feb 1, 2010)

Hey Moonshine, 

Just a quicky to say 'Good Luck' with your next cycle......this will be your time!

Mia x


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## Moonshine (Jun 1, 2010)

Thanks Mia, Hope your right. Just had my day 10 scan but strangely there was nothing to see so I have to go back again on Monday maybe I will ovualte later this month who knows! 

Hope your feeling ok ? x


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