# Help!! havin a wobble!!!!



## jooles (Aug 3, 2008)

Hi Ladies   

its been such a long time since I've been on here but now were on 3rd attempt at ivf I'm back!!!!

The thing is I'm having major doubts about doing this again!!! (bit late now im on 2nd day of stimms   )!!!! Im wondering if I'm doing it for the right reasons now or did I feel pressured into it, how will it affect me and dh if it doesnt work again, do i really want it to work    The thing is I cant explain this feeling or why Im even thinking it!!! Hormones, tiredness,stress, p*ssed off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! could be any of these i suppose   

I probably havent put this into words very well but just wondering if any of you ladies have had a "wobble"??

No doubt ill be torturing you until EC on 29th and the 2WW after   

Its good to be back!

Jules    xx


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## Babypowder (Nov 1, 2008)

Hi,

Jooles I was the same major wobble! not sure what it was either-nerves, hormones, drugs, but definatley rem thinking what am I doing? do I really need this, sure me and DP are fine on our own, but looking back I think it was just panic, you put so much into tx.
There where days it was all I could do to inject myself, just couldnt get excited, but I think it was just self preservation, theres so much pressure and £££ etc and you try to keep a lid on it, even my 2ww all I kept saying was see what happens, just get on with things, funny thing is I think it helped, I wasn't analizing every wee thing.

I really hope this is your time    and have to say Im so glad I tried again, this journey is just so tuff at times.


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## jooles (Aug 3, 2008)

Hi BP

Thanks for your reply    I was starting to think that maybe I shouldnt have put those thoughts down but it made me feel better being able to share them!!! 

I remember "talking" to you on the boards many moons ago and remember the heartache you and dh went through so I was delighted to read your news    congrats to you both and i hope you are both enjoying your new family   

hope to keep in touch 

Jules    x


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

jooles think we have met before   .


You know what i think your normal!  I am also about to start my 3rd icsi in the next coming months.  All the hope and joy i felt starting my first and then the second cycle is hard to find.  It becomes more like just something that you have to go through with the  possibility that it may work!  I think you probably become slightly detached from the reasons why your doing it? well i do, the prospect of holding my own baby at the end of it so far appears to be something that happens to others and not me.  Your also deliberately putting yourself into a really stressful situation that you technically have a choice of doing or not doing and that very hard to comprehend and understand.


What has really helped me is by changing clinics, i have so far been nhs funded (which obviously is great) but the clinic i went to was medioca and they were not offering me any solutions or advise for my next treatment, well except to put 2 blastos back in instead of 1!.  I have now changed clinics and feel that there is a lot more that can be done to help my situation.  I feel confident and exited about what results this clinic may bring.  Also mentally changing clinics has been excellent for me, as there are no negative connections to them so there for it does not feel like "life repeating itself", if you know what i mean.  Good luck xx


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## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

I can also understand exactly how you feel and felt the same.  One of the "issues" DH used to justify his affair and subsequent departure was that I was reluctant to go through tx a 5th time but I just couldn't face it.

However, one thing my ex DH did used to say and it's so true is "where else in this world would you walk into somewhere hand over £5000 and then walk away calmly when you got nothing for your money" he used to say "if you walked into a car showroom and handed over £5000 and you got nothing back you'd call the Police"  I'm not trying to be flippant there is just an element of truth in his statements, that there is huge pressure in this process and who would willingly put themselves through it!  The first cycle is different because you are blissfully ignorant but by the time you get to your 3rd you know all too well what's coming, how hard it's going to be etc and it's only sensible and normal to feel worried! 



Axxx


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## jooles (Aug 3, 2008)

thanks for your replies ladies......they are certainly making me feel better    I suppose I have to remember what were going through all this for and just hope it works out in the end   

Your comments and words of encouragement are very much appreciated!!!!!

Jules xx


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## Katie789 (Dec 12, 2010)

Jules,

Im in a similar mindset as you at the moment. Im on day six of stimms on my third tx cycle. At the moment I feel like injections are just part of everyday life and am not even allowing myself to think about what they are for. When I do I start thinking the worst about not having enough follies, or they wont make it to et, then a bfn. Blanking it out and getting on with it is just a way of protecting myself after the last two disappointments. 

I was in such a rush to get started again after bfn on new years eve as it gave me a focus and helped me think positively about the future. I dont actually think its sunk in yet that im doing it all over again already!! 

You are def not alone with your thoughts xx

Katie


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## mollycat (Jan 14, 2007)

hiya girls,

i think its defo a question that goes threw all our minds after another hit of BFN, i knew in my heart this last treatment was my last, as emotionally and financially we couldn't go threw it again, ( never did i think this one would work ) id even started looking into adoption while i was having treatment. I think if you have love and support and a side plan for after it makes a big difference and you can make it threw, but every time its gets harder....try to focus on the positive...
wishing you all the luck in the world, and hope all your dreams come true xxxxx


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