# Preparation for Adoption



## sophiekh (Mar 12, 2014)

Hi All,

I have recently decided that I would like to look into adoption and would love some input into how I should prepare for this before I start making applications.

So a bit of history first, I have pcos and blocked tubes and had 2 failed IVFs, since then my DH left. I have always wanted to children and thought IVF would be the 'miracle cure' for this. I am back living with my parents at the moment, but hope to find my own place as soon my divorce is finalised.  I dont have any debts or major outgoings and have been in a stable job for years.  

As I am applying for adoption as a single parent, what things should I have in place?  What information would be required from me.  I completely understand that this is a long process - so i think its the best time to start now.

I would love hear from anyone who has started this journey on their own


----------



## RocketJ (Mar 29, 2014)

Hi Sophie,

My journey to this point has been very different to yours because I have never been married or tried to have children, but I am also applying to adopt as a single. So far the process and people's reactions have been very positive. In many ways being single doesn't affect things much; the main thing that will be different I think is that they will focus very much on your 'support network' - who will you turn to and rely on when you need help. So it worth thinking about friends and family, and other groups and networks in your area that you will be able to get support from. I think they will probably want you to have moved into your own place, where you intend to live when you adopt, before you start the process, but it's worth contacting the LA or VA you want to apply with to see what they say.

I am (hopefully) heading towards the end of stage one now, but I'm very happy to answer any questions you have about beginning the process if I can. There don't seem to be many single adopters on this site, and while it is fantastic to get support and advice from everyone else, I think it would also be helpful to try and keep a 'singles' thread going to support each other!

RocketJ xx


----------



## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Hi Sophie

I am a recently approved single adopter and Rocket has more or less covered the main requirements.

- you should have finished any infertility treatment at least 6 months before applying
- you should have a strong support network
- a male role model would be beneficial
- it would be best that you are settled in your own home that has room for a child. A garden would be ideal
- your finances should be sound as they would expect you to take at least a year off from work

I hope this helps and good luck.

Rocket - There is a thread for single adopters on here. Take a look at

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=149503.390


----------



## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

I forgot to mention they will also look at your child care experience and require references (most require 3 or 4).


----------



## RocketJ (Mar 29, 2014)

Thanks Nearly There, that looks like a useful thread to follow too, shame it's not in the adoption section as I didn't even think to look at the other boards!

I definitely agree with your comment re childcare experience. I teach age 4-7, and have quite a lot of experience (well, I thought it was a lot!) with under 5s, but I have been told I need to gain additional experience if I want to be considered to adopt in the 0-5 range. It does feel a bit like a test of my level of commitment more than an actual necessity for the experience - i.e. am I prepared to give up time and make arrangements to do this.

I also had to give 6 references.


----------



## sophiekh (Mar 12, 2014)

Hello Ladies,

Thanks for your information. Looks like there is alot for me to think and prepare for.

I had my last IVF about 2 years ago but just will be having my results from another Consultant who I went to for a second opinion.

I was planning to buy somewhere to closer to work, but this is in a different city from any of my family.  I guess thats another thing I will have to put into consideration

And now the big issue - I dont have much experience with children, Ive only babysat nieces and nephews on a few occassions (some times overnight).  I guess this would be big concern ?

So who can be reference, I guess my DH will be one  - does this include work, parents, friends?


----------



## Laws1612 (Dec 12, 2011)

That should be enough experience I wouldnt worry about getting any more just continue as normal
...as long as you have a support nerwork and are sensible your be fine lol.....reference is different depending on where you are in the world and what authority you use. But defo exes that are significant to you....family members defo your siblings if they have kids looks good for you..your mum maybe and close friend network again ones that have kids that you have had experince with even better xxxx hope this helps....you will be great...its never as bad as you think it will be xxx


----------



## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Rocketj - 6 references that's crazy. Are they going to interview all of them?


----------



## RocketJ (Mar 29, 2014)

Ha! I thought it was pretty crazy too, especially since the SW told me at my initial interview that I only needed 3 (I queried as the paperwork said 6, but she assured me that meant for couples, so I only needed 3), and the confusion over this, since I only filled in 3 on the ROI, led to nearly a month delay on me starting stage 1!

I don't know if they will interview all of them... so far all have filled in questionnaires, and I know that one has been asked to make an appointment for a phone interview.


----------



## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

We had to have five references and one from work, sw only saw three and my in laws. 
She did say she would have liked to see my folks but just didn't get round to it.

Re experience : as we wanted a littleone my dh had to get more experience with a younger child. Luckly my nephew has twins they were then aged 18 months so we use to look after them every weekend. I had to take a back seat and let him get on with it. As sw said she was happy with my experience (13 necies and nephews plus great nephews and god children) all ranging from 18 months - 28 years. But felt dh left the looking after to me when we were babysitting, so wanted him to be more hands on.
This went down very well with aproval panel.

They will also check your financial situation, just to make sure you are able to support both of you.

Good luck in your journey xxxx


----------

