# how I moved from 'Motherhood' to the 'Otherhood' & in between



## bubblehead (Jan 29, 2009)

Hello ladies and gentlemen, it has been a very long time since I have posted here! I think the last time was over 2 years ago? 
I just wanted to share a few things that may be of interest. 

Firstly, I can say I found happiness through becoming a counsellor. I continue to learn about relationships, people & my own needs after my experiences of the last 5 years. I'm no different to other people who faced bereavement and loss. It took over 2 years before I could really work with clients experiencing bereavement as it was a hot topic for me. I feel so much better in myself now and more recently worked with clients at the very end of their lives and helped others who experienced bereavement and loss with calm and peace in my heart. Yes it was sad, though nothing to do with me or my situation and that was a turning point. Fertility issues will be a while yet after the second thing (in between) to share... 

I had some gynae issues recently & a blood test result showed I'm at the cusp of anaemia. GP has put me on iron tablets and suggested the coil/pill to minimise blood loss. I went away from the meeting feeling numb. It was only when I got home and thought about it that I reacted. Being on the mini pill or the coil would mean absolutely - no way - would I stand a chance of becoming pregnant. I cried, laughed, and cried some more. How ironic! I hadn't got pregnant naturally, with IVF, or ICSI x 3 and yet even after 6 years of not falling pregnant I'd lose any vestige of hope! I've taken the iron tablets, though the mini pill I decided to give a try to, well, I will wait till I see how I feel after my next period. My health takes priority after all! 

Thirdly, I went to a networking event where I spoke to a lively, intelligent, warm lady who shares in the organisation of events. She mentioned to me about the women unable to make it because of half-term and being mothers. She jokingly mentioned to me she was a member of the 'Otherhood'. We looked at each other and there was just a moment of knowing. I laughed. I said 'me too'. Neither had been a member of the motherhood club. Then another lady joined our conversation and understanding flowed between all three. Freedom was mentioned, as was the special relationship with family members and friends and spending time with their children. Also of other personal dreams being pursued and fulfilled... and fantastic holidays enjoyed and still to be enjoyed. Friends take on a whole new meaning in the 'Otherhood'. It felt suddenly good to be a member of the 'Otherhood' and I wanted to share that expression with you. It really can mean positive things. 

I am grateful to all the people who I know who have helped, a few from the fertility friends that followed me onto ********. They know who they are  Some are in the 'Motherhood' now. I don't begrudge them that at all. I love them because I know what they went through to reach their goal. 

Please do feel free to drop me a note if you want to. Good luck with your journey x


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## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

Excellent post- I will be sure to use 'other hood'!
I went back on the pill last year in an effort to draw a line in the sand but I only lasted 2 months!
Have you heard of 'gateway women' - a bunch of us 'no-mo's' (non-mothers) meet up and can talk very freely x


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## Mel2304 (Nov 5, 2012)

love this "otherhood." i will deffo be starting to use it!!!xx


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## bubblehead (Jan 29, 2009)

Hi Katehe


katehe said:


> Excellent post- I will be sure to use 'other hood'!
> I went back on the pill last year in an effort to draw a line in the sand but I only lasted 2 months!
> Have you heard of 'gateway women' - a bunch of us 'no-mo's' (non-mothers) meet up and can talk very freely x


No I hadn't heard of that expression. It's a good one! 'no-mo's' I get, though perhaps a bit less positive! How often do you meet up? x


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## bubblehead (Jan 29, 2009)

Mel2304 said:


> love this "otherhood." i will deffo be starting to use it!!!xx


thanks so much for your comment, glad you liked the idea of 'Otherhood' as much as I did. xx


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## katehe (Mar 27, 2011)

Google 'gateway women' Jody day
Groups nationwide !


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## overDAbridge (Jun 6, 2011)

Loving the other hood idea. That rocks


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