# blue eyed donors



## EmEm (Jan 31, 2006)

Hi,
I wanted to share our recent experience and ask if there were any other people who had experienced something similar. I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, as a result of egg donation from IM. We were told that the donor was a good physical match to me ie with brown hair and blue eyes. My partner also has brown hair and blue eyes. Nevertheless, our daughter has brown eyes and jet black hair. When we asked IM how this could have happened (after all, we had assumed, like most lay people, that 2 blue eyed people could not produce a brown eyed child) they said that genetics are more complex than most people think and that 2 blue eyed people can indeed produce a brown eyed child. They also said that in Spain it is common for blond, blue eyed people to have siblings with dark hair and brown eyes and that there is a risk therefore that the genes which such donors pass on will produce dark haired and dark eyed children. We feel aggrieved that we were not made aware of this possibility before we went ahead with the treatment. After all, many people, ourselves included, choose IM precisely because they can easily offer blue eyed donors. We know that other people sit on waiting lists at other Spanish clinics until blue eyed donors become available. 
We love our daughter very much and we are acutely aware of how lucky we are to have her at all. I appreciate that lots of people on this site are still waiting to be as fortunate as we are. But this is not a trivial issue - anyone who is not planning to tell their child that they were conceived through egg donation, or who want to keep their options open, should be aware of this. 

Has anyone else had this experience? If so, I would be interested to know how you responded to it.
Many thanks,
EmEm


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## longbaygirl (Aug 19, 2004)

EmEm - this is completly normal, just a shame the clinic did not make the possibility clear to you to begin with.

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/columnist/aprilholladay/2004-10-14-wonderquest_x.htm

/links


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## earthe kitt (May 7, 2005)

Em Em

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter  

Not sure about how old she is but just to advise that Ds had jet black hair at birth which became blond by the time he was around 5 months old and is now gradually turning brown at age 4 and a half

Brown eyes are a dominant gene so if donor had parents/grandparents with brown eyes and your DH has a brown eyed parent/grandparents then brown eyes are extremely possible - I haven't checked Joys link but it does seem amazing to me that there are any blue eyed peeps on this planet these days with all these brown eyed dominant genes

I'm brown and current DH is blue so we fortunately have all bases covered - unless one of our girls turns out to be a carrot top - fortunately for us the postman is a redhead so that will explain away that anomaly should it arise

Anyway, glad you're enjoying motherhood - let em guess - I bet they daren't ask   

Jo XXXXXXXXXX


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## ZoeP (Feb 10, 2004)

I just felt that I had to respond to your post EmEm,

I have friends that are both fair haired with blue eyes and they have 3 children, 2 of which have brown eyes and hair.  I'm sorry you are disappointed, but blue eyes does not guarantee the same.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but be thankful that you have a happy healthy baby.

Zoe x


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## ZoeP (Feb 10, 2004)

ps, if you are not planning on telling your child how they were conceived I'm sure that they wont think anything about the difference in looks.

Take care x


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## Purpleal (Aug 26, 2004)

Hi Em Em,

Both of my parents had bright blue eyes (unfortunately, my Dad is now deceased), and my two sisters and 1 brother also have bright blue eyes. I, on the other hand, ended up with GREEN eyes! No-one knows where they came from, as both sets of my grandparents have blue eyes as well. We all have moderately dark hair, especially myself, my husband has blue eyes and very blonde - nordic - hair. Our daughter popped out with very blue eyes and bright red hair at birth, which has now gone a very light shade of strawberry blonde. I am guessing baby number two, will end up dark haired and with dark eyes like me, but then I could be wrong!
I have never had anybody really question me about my genetics and eye colour compared to my family - it's always been a bit of fun wondering where they came from. If anything it has set me apart from them, which is fine by me as I enjoy being the centre of attention sometimes  

I hope this helped a little.

Take Care

Adrienne


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## roze (Mar 20, 2004)

Although our donor has dark brown hair and brown eyes( like my DH), and I have brown hair and green eyes, we are prepared for surprises on the day, however are not too bothered about differences as both our families look very diverse in appearance anyway.  I was born with blond hair and blue eyes, with both changing colour  before I was two to green/grey eyes and light brown hair with a hint of red. The hair changed to dark brown as I started school.
  
My father and his siblings were all blond and blue eyed.  My cousin ( daughter of one of those siblings ) has light brown hair and her husband jet black hair, yet they have produced 3 blond blue eyed children and one with dark brown hair and brown eyes. This to us suggested that the blond/ blue eyed  gene skipped a generation.  

DH's cousin was surprised to meet her second cousin from the US who was a living image of her,so much that they could have been identical twins.

I don't mean to  be flippant as you are clearly concerned, I just think that some families for whatever reason look alike, ( the Osmonds,  although isn't Jimmy blond and blue eyed?) the Nolan sisters) and others do not.  Also, babies and small children change eye and hair colour as they grow up.

All in all, I don't think these variations will lead to people suspecting that the child is not your genetic child.

regards,


roze  xxx


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## Sukii (May 17, 2007)

I think this is was a very worthwhile point to bring up - perhaps it is worth considering for those facing agonisingly long waits for a blue eyed donor, after all who's to say what combinations of multicoloured genes have gone in to making us all? Hopefully some future mums will read this post and the really great replies it produced and reassess whether they need to be waiting longer than necessary.

Em em, congratulations on the birth of your little girl and to Earthe Kitt whose reply made me guffaw with laughter thank you! 
Sukii
xx


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## SashaM (Oct 9, 2006)

Em Em


Congratulatiosn on the birth of your baby.  

I am gobsmacked (haven’t used that word in ages, but seems to apply here).  IVI also told us the details re genetics, blue eyed parents, blue eyed babies.      I had thought before the consultation, that we wouldn’t need to be specific as although both DP and I have blue eyes, DP’s mother has brown eyes and so does his sister (who looks very much like DP apart from eye colour).      Thanks so much to longbaygirl for posting the article.    I am now thinking that perhaps we don’t need to wait so long for a blue eyed donor – which is great news.    

I hope that these posts have helped you and mean that you don’t have the decision to tell or not taken away from you.    Although we have decided to tell our baby (fingers crossed that it works for us), there are certain people that we wouldn’t want to tell – certainly until we were ready.  

By the way I was apparently born with jet black hair, not just on my head but all over my face and body – it then all fell out and was replaced with fine blond hair – which is now mousey brown – thanks mother nature!!

All the very best to you.

S
x


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## carok (May 24, 2005)

You can calculate the probability of an offsprings eye colour on the link below, I don't know how accurate it is though.

Based on this calculation though,(again depending on the accuracy of the information) it contradicts what you have been told by IM, i.e. if the donor is blue eyed, your partner is blue eyed and his parents are blue eyed, but the donor's parents are brown eyed, it say's you have zero probability of a brown eyed offspring.

http://museum.thetech.org/ugenetics/eyeCalc/eyecalculator.html.

My DH is brown eyed, (with green eyes in the family) our donor was blue eyed and our daughter has very dark brown eyes. I do know that brown eyes is the dominant gene.

[red]This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites[/red]


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## sammid (Sep 25, 2005)

Hi just as a complete aside there is a very rare condition in which one person actually has 2 different sets of DNA and is is possible that the eggs or sperm contain different DNA to that expressed in the eye colour for example. Most people don't know that this exists even when they have this condition. It can mean that the results of a DNA test for paternity for example shows a mismatch because the DNA sample was taken from a different part of the body...
Not sure what this is called but there was recent article in New Scientist magazine about it.
Sam


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## Smurfette (Oct 13, 2006)

It is amazing to me always how genetics works.

My DH's brother has brown eyes and his girlfriend is half jamaican and has brown eyes and their DD has the bluest eyes you ever saw. It turns out both mothers have the same bluest eyes, so goes to show brown is not always dominant and it can't be otherwise there would be no blue eyes in the world at all.

SashaM, good luck if you change your mind.


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## longbaygirl (Aug 19, 2004)

carok - don't think that link is correct? 

Our donor had grey/blue eyes and my DH has brown eyes. According to the link all children should be brown eyed, but one twin has blue eyes and one has brown eyes!


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## longbaygirl (Aug 19, 2004)

Ops - my mistake - 72% chance of brown eyes, 14% chance of blue, 14% chance of green


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## ZoeP (Feb 10, 2004)

I've got brown eyes, I wasn't given information on my donor, I had to fill in a form for my requests and stated that I didn't mind what colour eyes my donor had.  My son has blue eyes.  Seems that quite a few brown eyed parents make a blue eyed child.


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## three_stars (Jan 19, 2006)

Dear EmEm,  Very interesting topic and thank you for posting. Also to longbaygirl for the interesting link.

It is very clear form your comments that you love your daughter and are grateful to have her. But I can understand the upset of waiting extra time for what you thought would produce a blue-eyed child to match yours.  

It is very obvious that clinics need to be more clear about the genetics of eye color so that patients are not left waiting on lists for ever! So I do hope that more recipients read your post and take this into consideration.

Genetics can be tricky and there are no guarantees.  (I remember when I worked with top models and would sometimes be shocked to see that they did not necessarily produce gorgeous offspring as you might expect.)

I think you will find that your babies hair color will lighten up in time.  As for the brown eyes, this will not be a threat to your decision about telling her about the donors.  More obvious would be if the blood did not match or if there turned up any genetic illnesses and I am sure you have already considered this. 
Enjoy your precious little girl.  She is a gift to you no matter what she looks like. 

B123


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

Hi EmEm - congratulations

My DH is Spanish and dark with dark hair and brown eyes, just like his dad, however his mum is blonde and blue eyed...all his family are a real muddle...what I'm trying to say is that although Spanish donors may have the blue eyes...their long distant families may not....also, the donor may have brown eyes but have long distant families with blue! It's so complicated isn't it.

I feel fortunate as even though my egg donor will be Spanish...I may get a blue eyed baby from DH's side and everyone'll just presume it's from me! But then again...my mum is brunette and my dad blonde but my brother came out a red head! I know many other amazing mixes involving races and hair colours...but I won't bore you all  

I'm going in with the attitude that whatever will be will be and I'll love it anyway.

Hope everyone gets on okay xxx

Kay xxx


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## Peni (Jun 30, 2004)

Hi, 

My DP is half Indian and has hazel brown eyes, his mother has very blue eyes and his Indian father has dark brown eyes. Our donor has blue eyes and my DD (now age 2) has very blue eyes. So the blue eyes dominated the brown as both paternal grandma and donor have blue eyes (I believe it means that the blue is a recessive gene). 

The previous post that said that things can change was right. DD was born with jet black hair and a darkish complexion, she now has chestnut brown hair (looks reddish in the sun) and is much fairer (although she's still a lovely caramel colour in summer). Several people have actually said that she looks medditeranean, which is fine as we're being open with her about her origins and would love her to be proud of her Spanish heritage. 

I specificially asked for a blue eyes donor just so any resulting baby would hopefully look as if it was representative of us a couple (as DP is dark and I am fair). I didn't think that the baby would actually end up with blue eyes as I was sure that DPs genes would be dominant. We actually discussed the fact that the donor could even have a South American grandparent so that there was every chance that the baby would be born with brown eyes.  My friend has brown eyes, yet both her parents and all 5 siblings have blue eyes. One of her grandparents have brown eyes so it seems she got the brown eyes from him! I now think it's quite common to inherit eye/hair colouring from grandparents. 

There are just no guarantees when it comes to assessing which characteristics any child will inherit donor or otherwise. But as soon as you go down the donor route you need to be more open to any of the possibilties that could occur. I hope all the replies have helped reassure you that it's quite common for children not to have the same eye colour as their parents and that there should be no reason for other people to suspect that you are not the genetic mother. 

I suspect that in time this issue won't worry you as much. You've just had a baby and just after birth is the time when everyone visits the baby and debates where each characteristic came from! Everyone - even people who don't know you - seem to think they can comment on baby's looks! I even had people stopping me in the street saying 'her eyes are much bluer than yours' or 'where did she get that black hair from?' My whole family knew that we'd used a donor so everyone was terribly interested in what she'd look like and very keen to meet her. I can imagine though that if you haven't told people that you used a donor that it must've been a very stressful time for you, especially as you assumed that 2 blue eyed people can't have a brown eyed child. You must have been terribly anxious about everything. 

Hopefully now that you know that it's biologically possible for 2 blue eyed parents to have a brown eyed baby you can just relax and enjoy your lovely baby.

Peni xxx


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## EmEm (Jan 31, 2006)

Hi,
Thanks to everyone who has contributed their views and own experiences, it's really helpful. Peni is right, I think, when she says, that this is something which will seem less important as time goes by - already, people who have been marvelling for weeks at how dark our daughter is and making jokes that I must have had an affair or brought the wrong baby home from hospital (it's amazing how insensitive some people are!) have got used to it and dropped the subject.
We do have a very beautiful baby, whose appearance may or may change as she gets older. Every day I thank my lucky stars that we have her. However, I am still cross with the clinic- when people go there expressly requesting a blue eyed donor, I think they have a duty to explain that things may not turn out the way they are hoping and expecting. Just a word of warning about the other possibilities would have made the difference to us and I hope now others are aware too.
Best wishes to all,
EmEm


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## PositiveVibes (Apr 29, 2007)

I agree that one should know about the possibilities.  This is something that you should be aware of.  I know that this was one item that we were wondering about.  We actually used donor sperm before and we only have blue eyes (95%) and green eyes (5%) in both families back 3 generations - so it was something that we worried about previously and now are worrying about it for our double donation cycle.  I actually looked at each donors family info from the scandinavian cryobank (for donor sperm) and was very surprised many had a brown-eyed relative pop up - so it does happen - it would skip a few generations and then the donor would have a sibling with brown eyes but no one else would have them!  So it does and can happen - and it is better to be prepared so that you can come to terms with the issue.  

I do agree that people can be cruel with their comments but I also know that I myself probably made some remarks previously before we had a dd from donor sperm to other parents without meaning to - sometimes people aren't sensitized to others issues since they haven't had to go through them themselves - it is just ignorance but I believe that it is innocent.  I know that I am more sensitive to others having gone through all of this - what a rollercoaster ride! 

Shelly


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