# what am i going to do !!



## katiecookie (May 13, 2009)

morning ladies 

sorry if this is a long post but i just need a vent really , i have just had another failed cycle my test was on the 03/09, this time i was using my sister eggs and i was so convinced that its was going to work i was really shocked when my test was negative , when they got the eggs from her, they actually got 22 !! but only 2 fertlized so they but them both back , i have no frozen eggs and i have had a letter from the hospital this morning to say as this was my 3rd time they are sorry that its hasnt worked but i am not able to have any further treatment i know that this was the case , but i just feel so very lost i just dont know what i am going to do i just feel as though they have washed their hands of us and sorry that its hasnt worked and goodbye !!    i am only 33, and i am so not ready to give up yet , i have looked into private treatment but there is no way that i can afford it at the moment , 
i also feel so very guilty when i look at my husbands face i can see that he is hurting just as much as me and there is nothing i can do to make him feel better , it just breaks my heart esp when i see him playing with our nephews and neices i know that he would make a wonderful father , when i talk to him he just seems to clam up and wont talk about it ! 
like i say i am sorry for the moaning but i  just needed to get this of my chest hope eveybody else is ok 

kate xxx


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## jen-v (Jul 7, 2011)

Kate, I'm so sorry about your situation, its just so hard


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## lollipops (Oct 17, 2009)

Kate, 
I'm so sorry for your failed cycle, I know how much it hurts to keep getting knocked back and its so unfair that your clinic appear to have left your side. Have they said why they won't offer more tx? 

Your right you are still young and I agree you shouldn't give up your fight yet! Has the problem been with your eggs? Or did you use your sisters for a different approach? I only ask because if your eggs are ok you could maybe egg share to keep the costs down?
Whatever happens you shouldn't give up & I'm sure another clinic will welcome you with open arms!
I'm not the perfect patient either. I have blocked tubes & a low ovarian reserve and yet nobody has told us to give up, we have been told of our success rates and the potential of me not producing any eggs but yet my clinic now & my old clinic were happy to take us forward with another tx. This is why I feel its unjust of your clinic to treat you this way.

Hugs for you & your Dh during this difficult time.xxx


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## lola33 (May 17, 2011)

Katie- sorry abuout your BFN   I really feel for you, I just had a failed cycle recently as well  I really shouldnt give yet hun, your are and I'm sure with the right tx it will happen for you. You totally understand that you are concerned about the financial side of things, it is so expensive   I'm sure you will find another clinic that will treat you, when your are ready. 

I red your signature and one of my friends suffered from exactly the same thing as you, raptured appendix, that caused blocked tubes, cysts and a lot of infections over the years. Maybe you should look into immune tx, it is expensive though  like everything else when it comes to fertility tx  

Sending you loads of positive energy    and hope you will feel better soon

Xx


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## kitten77 (Nov 15, 2006)

so sorry to hear of your news again.  take care of yourself and each other.

it is hard when you want to keep going but the financial situation doesnt allow us, its frustrating isnt it. are you saving to try to self fund?  all i can say is maybe in the meantime do something psoitive to feel like you are 'helping' in some way?  look into vitimins? eating healthy?  having some 'me' time?

i know its rubbish advice and i knwo that there is nothing anyone can say to help. but take care of yourself. xx


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## katiecookie (May 13, 2009)

morning 

thank yoy for all your lovely replies , i have had my treatment on the nhs and was told that there was only 3 chances , so i excpeted it but i still feel as though they dont seem to really care they havent even given us any advice on what to do next etc , i have foned them a number of times over the wknd to try and make a appointment with the doctor but nobody bloody answers the fone    ! 

jen-v the reason i used my sisters eggs is because when i did the treatment with my own each time they only got 3 eggs ! and said that they were not very good quailty tbh i am now unsure if this is the case and there is another problem because both times all 3 eggs fertilized and the 1st cycle we got a 7 cell egg , my sister eggs were both 4 cell stages but i was told that they were very good grades i think that the problem lies somewhere else as they dont seem to be sticking , i have so many questions that i still need to ask the doctor so i think the least they could do is see me just for a follow up appointment i am going to try and ring them again today so i will let u all know how i get on . 

take care love kate xxxx


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## katiecookie (May 13, 2009)

morning 

well i have foned the hospital to make a appointment and i have got to wait untill the 27 april !!! wtf is that all about thats bloody 6 months !!! arrrraghhh


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## lola33 (May 17, 2011)

Katie- sorry you have to wait so long, yes it looks like it is that 6 months rule. Hope times flies quickly   Sorry that you didn't have a good response with your own eggs  have you had an AMH test done to confirm low ovarian reserve? I have low AMH for my age and was expected to be a poor responder, I got 6 eggs last time, which was better than expected, all fertilized and I had day 5 transfer with good quoits blasts, unfortunately still a BFN, but gives me hope for my next cycle   You are so young, I'm surprised that they said that the quality was an issues. If you are still suffering from infections in you pelvic area, it could cause problem with implantation, maybe worth to have a look at immunes, but it is very expensive and the tx are not widely excepted by everyone. Best of luck  

Xx


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