# Feeling down after IVF 2 didnt work and hubbies sister had a baby today....



## Cma700 (Nov 12, 2012)

Im feeling soo down and convinced its not meant  to be for me and my hubbie to have a family of our own 


I have had 2 IVF cycles 1st resulted in an ectopic pregnancy.  My last cycle in March resulted in a HCG of 2 which then went to 0 the week after so the hospital said this was a chemical pregnancy.  Confirmed last thursday.
  
Also on both cycles the egg quality didnt seem great the first cycle 8 eggs were taken all fertilized and only 5 developed all with fragments and 1 was put back in grade 2 on day 3 all the rest didnt last and no blastocycsts.  The last cycle 5 eggs were taken and all fertilized and 3 developed and 1 was put back in on day 2  this one was a grade 4 so classed as top quality, no blastocycsts and nothing for freezing.    

Today my husbands sister who is 6 years younger than me had a baby.  I feel so bitter and started to cry when I found out.  I am terrible as I should be happy but instead feel angry that we are not getting any happiness.  

Hope I dont sound like a horrible person.  xxxx

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


----------



## Strugglingtocope (Apr 5, 2016)

So sorry to hear of everything you are going through. I've not started IVF yet so I can't comment on that part other than to say I'm gutted for you that it hasn't worked out so far. Saying that I really don't feel like our infertility struggles mean we aren't 'meant to be' parents, I've had those thoughts too but then I think about how much love and happiness I could give to a child, as I'm sure you can too. I hope you get some positive news soon as I'm sure you will make an amazing mum one day  

On the issue of the sister in law having a baby, I'm in A similar boat, I'm watching my SIL have baby no.2 and be pretty insensitive about it. I feel bitter too and cried when I found out she was pregnant (on an off for a whole week as was just after our suspected MC/ CP). You have every right to be angry at the situation, life sucks sometimes! if you need someone to vent to send me a message


----------



## Tihica (Dec 19, 2014)

I'm sorry that you're going through tough times. I've been there, struggled with infertility for years and had several disastrous IVF cycles. I went through pretty desperate times, depression, anxiety, thinking that we were never going to be parents while everyone around us was popping kids as off a conveyor belt. By some miracle our 4th IVF worked and I'm now 31 weeks pg with a little girl. I'm immensely grateful and consider myself so fortunate but still, when my sister in law who is 8 years younger than me announced that she was expecting and due two months after us I found it sooo hard. I know that it doesn't make sense, I'm having my miracle so shouldn't be fussed about it. But still. They just got married and the first month "not trying, it was a trial run" (huh?), they get pregnant, just like that! So just don't feel guilty, cry if you need to, be angry if you need to. Most of all, look after yourself, put yourself first. 
At the same time, try to remember that nobody's life is perfect and everyone is dealing with something - illness, job security, relationship issues... You never know what their struggle is. 
I hope this helps xx


----------



## marty123 (Dec 26, 2015)

Cma700 said:


> Im feeling soo down and convinced its not meant to be for me and my hubbie to have a family of our own
> 
> I have had 2 IVF cycles 1st resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. My last cycle in March resulted in a HCG of 2 which then went to 0 the week after so the hospital said this was a chemical pregnancy. Confirmed last thursday.
> 
> ...


Hi, dear! I know how hurting it could be. And I absolutely hate feeling all sorts of mixed emotions being in the situation like yours!
I try my best to let go and let be, but this can just be hell some days. So many of my family, friends and their friends have started their families within the past 3 years. Two couples in our core group of my friends have had baby #1. Moreover one couple is expecting baby #2 during the time we have been TTC. 
It's seems so easy for them all! it just makes me want to scream some moments! I have been dreaming of becoming a mom since I was little. I feel motherhood in my heart of hearts. And I am feeling the pressure of time - like the window of our chance to be parents is closing.. So definitely you're not alone with your worries and envy. This is the same for all of us..
Hugs XX


----------

