# Diagnosed with POF at 22



## sw4618 (Apr 27, 2015)

Hi friends, 

I hope you are all doing well. I was told about FF recently through another member on RESOLVE. I am not living in the UK (I live in San Diego in California) but I was hoping to find more support for my POF journey. I was diagnosed at the age of 22 and I am now 27. I found out I had POF after my period ceased for 6+ months. I was experiencing frequent urination, vaginal dryness and hot flashes. My memere (mom's mom) had been told she had "early menopause" at the age of 23 and she passed away very young at the age of 46 from breast cancer. As soon as my symptoms started, I knew that something was wrong. I was incredibly devastated when I found out and I only had 2 follicles when I was diagnosed. I was also told that my ovaries were very small and it was likely I did not have many eggs left. My FSH was 136, estradiol was in the low 20s and my LH was 93.3 (I just reviewed my medical records from when I was diagnosed, and that was depressing). Did anyone else have levels this bad? I had tons of blood work done while living in Boston and all tests came back negative and I was left with a POF diagnosis that was idiopathic. It has been a long journey with lots of ups and downs.

I have found myself thinking about my POF more recently because I am dating someone who I am falling in love with and told him this past weekend about my POF. This brought back a lot of the pain, negative thoughts and feelings of being unlovable, particularly by men. Since disclosing this, I have found myself worrying about whether this will influence his feelings towards me. I am not currently trying to conceive as I am not married and I am working on my PhD. However, I really want to be a mother and it has been hard to accept that I will not have the genetic link to my future children. Also, it has made dating really hard to navigate because I never know when to share this information with people. 

I would love to hear from any other women who have similar issues and may be able to relate. One of the things that I have found to be the hardest was I was diagnosed so young and at a time when I was not trying to conceive and my friends weren't either, which made me feel like they couldn't really understand this loss. I hope to one day use donor eggs but that also overwhelms me thinking about it.


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## LadyKate (May 15, 2015)

Dear sw4618
I am not as young as you are but have had my diagnosis of POF when I was 39. And thinking back I probably had it for longer.....I can totally understand your feelings and your fears, I know what it means not to feel lovable....but in hindsight and maybe more wisdom (LOL) I can assure you that you are worth to live and be treated for who you are! I am sure you are a lovely person with many talents and capabilities. The right man and the right friends will see beyond what you perceive as your burden and ride the journey with you! Sexuality and motherhood are part of being a woman but not the ONLY thing! And you have still all the options available to have a perfect family of your own.
If and when you are in need of talking and reassurance I am more than welcome to help you....
Remember you are beautiful and strong!!!

love 
LadyKate  :*


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## beccas (Nov 7, 2011)

Hi... So sorry to hear of your diagnosis! It's a very hard one to deal with especially when so young! 
I was 16 when I was diagnosed and to be honest is barely even had my first sexual encounter never mind thought about children.
However being so young did have its advantages! There are women who try for years to conceive only to find out they have POF or other fertith issues and can be very late in to start any treatment! We should try and feel fortunate to be in a position to plan for the future and have the luxury of the knowledge about what we might have to face.... I hope I don't sound too harsh... IM just sharing how I dealt with the diagnosis myself! 
I was in the same position as you in regards to friends not understanding! It can be lonely and confusing! The way I dealt with that side of things was to choose a few very very close friends that I knew I could trust to talk to! I'm lucky as an still in the same friendship group as I was at school so have known each other for what feels like far too long  
I truly feel like a stronger woman due to my diagnosis and feel like it has empowered me to make the most out if my life and what I want from it! 
As for men.... I've been with my partner since I was 19... He's amazing with the POF and I told him relatively early on about my diagnosis and about having to use a de if I were tk ever have a child. We had been friends for a long time before that but figured if he wasn't j retested after that then why waste my time! 
It takes a strong relationship to endure ivf and infertility... So pick a good one!!!! 
I hope I have been helpful! If you ever need to chat id be more than happy!!!


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## LadyKate (May 15, 2015)

Nice words beccas  I wish you the bestest of luck for your cycle in August!

Baby dust to us all 

xxx


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## kgemini (May 11, 2016)

Im not as young as you but I have primary amenorrhea, so from the age of 16 I knew I wouldn't be able to conceive naturally and like you I also found it very hard to know when the time was right to tell partners and at many times I also believed I would be unlovable and often thought no one would ever want a relationship with me. but I can honestly say that when the time came it didn't put any partners off.
The one advantage you have over me is that fertility treatments are so much more advanced now. when I was told in my twenties I would need egg donation, I knew nothing about it, and there were no forums like this back then and no information was given to me on how to go about it.

Good luck with your journey and keep strong.


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