# Foster to adopt



## Katielou0422 (Jan 18, 2015)

Hi everyone im new to the group, 
My husband and I have 2 BS and are hoping to have our 3rd through adoption, 
We have been doing alot of research and we feel this is definatly something we are going to do.
Iv looked into fostering to adopt and just wondered if anyone had been through this process ? Im not sure i quite get it, what is the difference between doing this and just doing adoption? 
Thank you


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## Laws1612 (Dec 12, 2011)

Katielou hi welcome to the world of adoption.

foster to adopt Is you are approved at panel as dual adopters and foster carers. You will receive a child normally much younger than if you were to adopt as the further court orders will be while child is placed with you. They will continue to have contact with birth family anything from 3 timez a week to once a month depending on situation. When court order is arranged you would then go to matchig panel to formally adopt that child.. downside there is the chance decided by court that baby could be placed back with birth family. Normally a very small chance but t is there.....

if you can handle the uncertainty it is a very good normally quicker route. 
There are a few girls that have done this recently and hopefully they can shed more light and there own expereinces on this situation. 

Good luck and congratulations on your new jouney xx


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Hi we're doing foster to adopt at the moment. Ours isn't quite the normal route though as our little one wasn't actually placed with us until after the final hearing where the placement order was issued. 
Laws has explained it well. The risks are that you won't keep the child as whilst you are fostering them the assessments and court hearings are taking place to decide the final outcome. Whilst it may start off as an open and shut case that the child will be placed for adoption it rarely is. A relative could come forward and be assessed as suitable, they could find out the birth father isn't who they first thought and various other situations. 
In our experience not many agencies would consider you for foster to adopt if you have existing children because of the risk of the child not staying and the effect that would have on your children.
We thought when we went down this route we would be strong enough to handle things if it didn't work out, now that lo is with us I seriously doubt that would be the case.
So when it works out it is simply amazing but it isn't something to enter into lightly.


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## Jomo20 (Jul 13, 2012)

Hi Ladies,

Myself and my husband have just attended the adoption information evenings and decided that we would possibly like to do foster to adopt as we could have a small baby which gives us the opportunity to bond sooner with the child. It does seem like a big risk though and there is a lot to consider. Do any of you know what funding would be available from the government? I'm aware that if you Foster first you not eligible for any statutory pay to have time away from work!

Thanks x


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## HannahLou (May 22, 2011)

We did it and loved it, the worst bit is facing two panels not one!! T moved in at 6 weeks and we adopted her officially at 10 months. My social worker told us its highly highly unlikely that the baby placed with us would be returned to BM, but ofcourse there is that teeny chance. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Jomo,
The law is changing in April I think which brings foster to adopt in line with normal adoption, meaning you will be entitled to adoption leave and pay from the time of the foster placement.
Whilst Hannah says it was highly highly unlikely lo would ve returned to bm that may be true and sw can advise and probably predict this. What they can't predict is if there will be an alternative family member, grandparent, aunt, uncle etc on either side of birth family that may be assessed and be suitable. We're doing it and lo has been with us 4 weeks and we went into it with much the same attitude we were satisfied it was low risk etc. now being in the position and having had various delays along the way because of changes in the situation our eyes were very much opened as to how close it could have been to not going through for us. I honestly don't think its something I could do again as I think we were very lucky and the courts these days are making some questionable decisions so it's something I think you really need to think long and hard about.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I know that the chance is small but I'd ask questions about actual national statistics.  When I heard someone asking about it at an open evening and push the sw admitted they'd only actually done one fta placement.  They'd be advertising it for at least a year.  Both mine and my daughters teams had fta children returned while we were going through matching our and their sws discussed it when we were waiting for the medical adviser.  However that was at the start of the bizarre court decision phase so it may be calmer now. One of those placements was adopters with an lo approached about the sibling and asked to do fta. So horrible can't imagine what that family went through.  These may be total exceptions but when they say a small chance that isn't a percentage / proper statistic. I'm not trying to put you off I just think it's still new and people should push for the full picture before making a decision.  Good luck whatever you decide.


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## happypenguin (May 8, 2013)

Hello

I have done something very similar to F2A (Concurrent Care) where the baby is placed at an earlier stage than F2A but with all the same risks to the carers. Possobly even more.

I can't recommend it highly enough. It does need careful consideration however the SW team that run the scheme in my LA are skilled & experienced to guide you through questions
I do know several couples with birth children that have now adopted or are at the foster stage via concurrent care.

We have successfully adopted and I am happy to answer PMs about it (not sure how much detail I want to add to the public area on the forum just yet!) Our case had some high drama & a very real chance of baby returning to family.

Would I do it again? ABSOLUTELY YES!


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## Jomo20 (Jul 13, 2012)

Thank you all for your honest feedback. I think there is a lot to consider, but at least I have some good questions to ask my SW who we are due to see next Tuesday. The agency we have decided to go with are one of the best and therefore I would hope that if they were to present us with a child for F2A it would be where they are almost certain the child would not be returned to their BM, however I appreciate that there are no guarantees and this is the risk we would have to face.

I may have some further questions on this subject so I might PM a couple of you as it always helps to have as much information as possible.

Thanks again.

Jomo x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Jomo Don't forget it isn't just about the BM, our lo's placement order was delayed due to assessments being carried out on paternal family so it's a big picture not just the immediate one you really need to investigate.
Good luck!


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## happypenguin (May 8, 2013)

I have replied to your PM Jomo and would second becs40 point about the wider birth family as this was a factor in our story too. 
A happy ending but might have been very different.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Another foster to adopter here! Still officially a fosterer at the minute but baby actually already has placement order, we are just waiting for matching panel then we are like any other normal adoption placement. Baby was 4 months old on placement. It all happened very quickly, we decided to go down the route of foster to adopt. It was all very stressful as we were told about a few possible babies and got put on standby but everything hung in the balance dependant on court hearings and these can be very uncertain at times. There are also relinquished babies to consider but again alot of uncertainty as birth mums can change there mind up to 6 weeks after birth during which time baby is with you. All the things we wanted to know before proceeding with lo was what assessments had been carried out on birth parents and any further planned, had every avenue been explored for a possible placement with another member of birth family,  contact plan with birth family and specifics of how and where that was going to happen. In our case circumstances for birth parents can't change but if they could I'd want to know all about that to. We were able to have a good introduction period with our lo and that's something else to talk about. It's all been a very positive experience for us and I would definitely go down this route again. Had we had a longer period of uncertainty though im not sure how we would have coped with that!


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## Jomo20 (Jul 13, 2012)

Becs - One of the questions I will be asking our SW is whether they would carry out assessments on other family members before placing LO with us for F2A. I'm not sure whether this would be possible as LO would need a foster home right from the outset. Thanks for your valuable comments though.

Thanks for your comments also Watakerfuffle. My mind feels like it's going to explode as there is so much to consider and so many risks involved. I don't know where I would be without this site though. All of you have been a great help.

Thanks again


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## Laws1612 (Dec 12, 2011)

happy penguin - im glad to hear it all worked out for you and your now offically a mummy to that little blue xxx we have been matched with two blues and start intros very soon. xx


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## Jomo20 (Jul 13, 2012)

Laws - Congratulations on being matched to 2 blues, you must be very excited. How old are the LO's? x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Jomo we'd been told all assessments had been carried out by the irh hearing then when it got to court the judge ordered further assessments, some to be redone that had already been done. This is part of the uncertainty. We lived with the ups and downs for 4 months before lo was placed and it was tough. Like watakerfuffle we too are still fostering until matching panel in a few weeks.
I'm not sure I'd do it again but I absolutely don't regret choosing this route. We have the most amazing, incredible, beautiful lo which has made it all worthwhile.


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## Jomo20 (Jul 13, 2012)

I didn't even think about the judge ordering further assessments, which really does make it even more risky! I'm at the stage where I will do anything to get the family I so very much want, but my husband is already unsure about adoption. He knows there are so many risks with any option we decide to go with. It's going to be difficult to convince him that it will be worth it all in the long run!


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Well the one thing I would say is we went into it very much of the opinion we'd be lucky to get a child under 2, even more lucky to get a child without risk of fas and expecting our lives to be different to normal families because the whole process really focusses on "problems". It's early days yet but we have the most amazing, beautiful 6 month old baby with no health concerns and very straightforward. It's unusual but not impossible, it's very much down to luck. We were in the right place at the right time and it was obviously meant to be.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

That's what makes it all the more difficult as the judge doesn't always go with the social workers recommendation. Don't forget though that at the end of the day the foster to adopt scheme is for lo's that the plan for them is adoption. Our SW has been great and really looked after us and gave us as much info as possible and outlined any risks so we were entirely clear where we stood so hopefully you will have a SW who also looks after you. Maybe find out how long your LA have been running the scheme for to, mine have been doing it long enough now to have ironed out some of there initial teething problems! Good luck


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Thankyou for starting this topic. I don't know much about foster to adopt so this has given me some info & something to think and ask questions about. Good luck to all.xx


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## Jomo20 (Jul 13, 2012)

Hi Billybeans,

Have you just started enquiring about adoption? We have only just started our journey and it is very overwhelming already and this is nothing compared to how it will get when you start stage 2 of the process!


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Hi Jomo. No we haven't started officially enquiring yet. Just gathering info & waiting for DH. Xx


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## Bluebell261 (Jan 31, 2010)

Hi, 

I just started a thread about horror stories without realising this thread existed.

Can I ask please, for those of you with lo's placed with them, how are you finding the contact with birth family? How does that work? Do the sw's take lo to see birth parents?

Thanks in advance all

😄


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Hi a Bluebell, ours was slightly different to normal f2a (if there is such a thing as normal!) in that our lo was moved to us once placement order was granted. That meant we only had 3 contact visits to deal with but they carried on as they had done at his previous foster carers, they send a volunteer driver or a taxi with a chaperone to pick them up and bring them back from contact.


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## happypenguin (May 8, 2013)

Hi Bluebell

I did Concurrent Care which is similar to F2A (but with the baby placed at an even earlier stage)
We had Contact with Birth Parents 3 times a week and I have to say I feel blessed to have had that chance to get to know them. 
I took LO in on each occasion (supervised contact centre) & took the opportunity to really find out about them, their upbringing, likes & dislikes. I actually feel I have gained a better insight to them as human people than I would ever have got on paper.
While I agree wholeheartedly that LO should have been removed, I at least gained a level of respect for them both. I actually miss them now that we no longer have direct contact. I never thought I would feel like that.

What it means is I have a more rounded Life Story to share with LO as they grow and that is invaluable


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## ultrafirebug (Oct 22, 2010)

Hi, I see that this thread has been quiet for a few months but we have started the process for foster for adoption and adoption. First prep meeting in a few weeks. Are there any buddies out there also doing f2a or anyone willing to share their experiences or can offer advice on what questions we should be asking/what to expect? Thanks x


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=302396.msg5363327#msg5363327
This. Is. A helpful thread.


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## ultrafirebug (Oct 22, 2010)

Thanks Disney x


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