# Do all LA make you wait ???



## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi Everyone
We have just finished our last go of IVF ( 8 attempts) and know we want to adopt, we have phoned our LA and they have told us we have to wait for between 6 - 12 months  from our final go of IVF.

We are both 39 and really worried we are getting to old to be matched with a young child.

Does every LA make you wait this long, or does it just depend 

Wishing everyone so much luck in getting their dreams come true soon
Love
Jo
x x x


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

hi jo,  nice to meet you. (insert big friendly wave icon here)

I think most agencies like you to wait.  Really it is to give you time to grieve for the natural child you can't/won't have, before starting the emotional rollercoaster which is the adoption journey.  However, not all agencies will make you wait as long as a year if you can show that you are ready to move to adoption and don't need time to think about things. It might be worth asking if they are willing to meet with you and discuss the timescales.  

just another point.  I wouldn't worry too much about your age.  there is no max age for adoption and many adopters are 40+.

Magenta xx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Jo

My LA have been pretty flexible SO FAR about this.Mainly as we have told them we made enquires last year into adoption (which we did) and this final go was our NHS go. We told them we didnt feel we could turn it down after waiting so long.(not that we would have anyway but...)
Strangly after making the inital enquiry and filling forms out the months have ticked away anyway. Maybe give it a month or so and then telephone for a pack. Would be worth saying you contacted BAFF several months ago too. 

Cant wait for us to travel our journey together 

Love and hugs

Lou xxxx


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Thanks Lou and Magenta 

We did actually contact them 2 years ago and got some info from them, also we went to a adoption open day in Feb with NCT, we have wrote all this down in a letter to them, I will let you know what they say in the reply (hopefully) 

Love Jo
x x x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Oh yes I remember now Jo, thats great then 

xxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

In the mean time, not that you probably want to, but having some councelling whilst you are waiting would look good too. That is what we have been told by our SW. 

xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Jo 

Welcome, really excited for you and Paul.

Like Magenta said the wait is for you to come to terms with not having a child of your own and how it might feel to parent another persons child.  In the main they ask you to wait 6 months to a year, all of them vary which is somthing you will find out along your journey.

As Lou said it is always worth showing that you have been seriously considering adoption whilst going through your treatment.

Good luck and I hope you don't have to wait too long.

Love
Karen x


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hiya!

on the note of youn'uns,
we were the second youngest couple on our course (and going for up to five years, whilst every one else was going for under four years).  most for sibling groups of two.

there were couples up to fifty going for under fours. try not to worry too much
xx


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## lounea (Jun 12, 2005)

Hiya Jo, 

I understand why you want to geton with the adoption route, it takes such a long time to apply, be assessed, and if you are anything like me, the whole journey of ivf is a process and if this was your last attempt you have probably been preparing yourself for the what ifs anyway.  I feel that at each stage of the ivf process you are faced with the reality of the fact thatit might not be possible, even at the first consultation with the specialist! 

I dont think age matters  at all, more that you can provide a good secure, loving home for a child.  I was amazed when i rang our l.a and had a chat with one of the s.w. and asked for a pack even though we were considering ivf. She explained why they liked people to wait and yes it is to grieve and process the loss. I was told the same as you 6-12 mths after treatment.  They did however invite us to several information evenings.  I rang back a few months later and she remembered me and was lovely ( hope we get her when we start!).  If you feel you are ready to go for it, I would recommend you ring and have a chat and maybe ask to arrange a meeting, and explain why... you got nowt to lose hun

good luck x lou


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi Jo

you know my story and theory about this -  just want to let you know i am hoping they respond to your letter real soon and you get some good news hun. 

LB
X


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi Jo

We waited about 2 months after our IVF before we contact them and by the time wehad a sw come and visit it was about 6 months down the line then anyway. 

I hope that you get the news that you want and wish you lots of luck!

Natsxx


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