# Lesbians Using Donor Sperm Part 15



## struthie

New home ladies !!!

Cyclers  

2ww - Good luck!   

duckie4her & DP* - DI - Testing ?  

In between treatment

Eddie* - Clomid and DI  

Emma73* - DIVF in October 

 Emma*& Lottie - DIUI 

(Feistyblue) Claire* & Beverley - Egg Share DICSI  

(Herbaltea) Sarah* - DIUI  

(Midnightaction) Sarah* - Egg Share DIVF 

Woo_Woo* & Lea - DI 

MG - Melissa & DP - DIVF 

Friskypony* & Pup - DIVF 

Dani - DIUI 

Misty* & Bunny - DFET  

(Spangley) Lucy & DP - DICSI  

(Mable) Edith* and Mabel - DIVF  

Tonia* & Bron - DIVF  

Duff - DIVF  

JJ71 - DICSI 

(amandavee) Amanda* & Vee - DI - July 2007  

Precious Cargo On Board  

Charlie & Lee* - DIVF   

(Brasilgirl) Julie* and partner - DIVF - due date 26/08/07   

Candygirl - DIVF converted to DIUI - due date 02/09/07  

(Rachjulie) Rachael* & Julie - DI - 29/09/07   

Gina * & Rae - DI - Due Date 19/10/07   

Rach* and Sue - - DIUI - Due Date 31/10/07   

(Magsandemma) Maggie* and Emma - DICSI - Due Date 03/12/07   

irisbea - DIVF - Due Date ?   

Alison0702* & DP - DIVF - Due Date 08/02/08   

Evelet & Rosypie* - DIVF - Due Date 12/02/08  

Sharyn* & Rohan (Starfish3) -DE-DS-FET-Due Date 17/02/08   

Never Forgotten Angels 

Woo_Woo* & Lea 
Tonia* & Bron 
(Pem) Ema* and partner 

Our Miracle is Here 

Evelet & Rosypie - Proud parents Jude born 16.08.05  
(Bagpuss1) Kerry* & Helen - DIUI - Proud parents to Edie born 02.01.06
Edith* & Mabel - DIVF - Proud parents to Monty born 12.04.06
Friskypony* & Pup - DIVF - Proud parents to Morven Lilly born 14.02.06
Charlie* & Lee - Proud parents to Louis born 26.07.05 and Ruby Mae Piper born 18.05.07  
(Starrysky)Heather* & Jo - DICSI - Proud parents to Adam born 21.11.06 
(Nismat) Tamsin* & Karen - DIVF - Proud parents to Toby 09.03.07

Sending loads of love, luck and babydust to you all.

Please let me know of any updates/amendments


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## starfish3

Hi All

Eve and Ros -- fantastic news!!!! Congradulations....

[move type=scroll loop=-1 direction=left step=6 delay=85]             [/move]

I daren't hope to be sending a similar message in a few days. But havingmore AF type pains and increasingly sensitive (0) (0).... but all those hormones going in ... so who knows....?

So whose next to end of 2ww now after me (Tuesday 12 Jun)

Have a nice weekend
Sharyn (Starfish3)


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## LouisandPhoebe

Hello everyone

Eve and Ros fantastic news we are so happy for you both.  Hello Tamsin you are so brave taking a baby on holiday.  We took louis abroad when he was 18 months and the flight was hard work.  I cant believe all the luck on this board it is so nice to see so many BFP's.

Could you update the board for us with - Ruby Mae Piper born on the 18/05/07.  We are both totally knackered and the house is a state but everything is great.

Lots of love to everyone

Charlie, Lee, Louis and Ruby
xxxxx


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## amandanvee

Hi Everyone 

    We are a Lesbian couple in a committed relationship,{At the moment we are unable to hold a Civil Partnership} we have been together over two years. We are planning to use DI with a known donor and will be beginning our 1st insemination in July 07.

    When we have a child my partner would like to adopt the child so we can become a proper family and that she will have equal parental responsibility as me.

    Can anyone on here offer any help and advice in this matter, as we have looked all through the Internet but the information is very confusing.

    All our best wishes to everyone on this site  

    Amanda & Vee


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## snagglepat

Hi *Amanda and Vee*,

I asked a question about paternity leave and parental responsibility on the 'ask a lawyer' thread and got a very comprehensive response. It's here: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=90273.0 Hopefully some of the info there will be of use to you too. As it happens, we're now going to meet with Natalie from that thread in a few weeks to sort out our wills and the parental responsibility agreement.

As far as I'm aware you'll be able to get parental responsibility without having to do the civil partnership, but I think you have to be civil partners in order to get step-parent adoption rights. I may be wrong on this, but it was really only for this reason that my partner and I became civil partners last year.

Fingers crossed for you *Sharyn*.

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


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## evelet

Hi - I am a solicitor (not a family law specialist) and up until a year ago worked for a lesbian/gay firm in London (I met Natalie at the gay wedding show in Brighton a year and  a half a go - she's very knowledgeable and approachable). You can adopt without a civil partnership. You can also do a parental responsibility order but its more difficult. If you are civ partners then its really just a form filling exercise. I don't think CP makes a HUGE difference to adoption (except that its an indication of your commitment to each other).

Very important to bear in mind that with a known donor you will need his consent to an adoption even if you leave the 'father' part of the birth certificate blank.


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## candygirl

Just to say that as I understand it, without a civil partnership your partner can adopt the baby, but only if you give up your parental rights first.  So there would be a point at which neither of you had parental responsibility, and then you would both adopt the baby.  If you're in a civil partnership though, then you don't have to give up your parental responsibility for your partner to adopt the baby.

(I'm not a solicitor though, and I would definitely reccommend that you get formal legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in this area of law.  That's what we're doing)

Candy x


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## lucky2010

Hi Struthie, Thanks for starting the new thread, our EDD is 29/09/07.

Hi to everyone else.

*Gina*, thanks for posting the link re parental responsibility, it's very informative.... we have alot to do!!!

Love Rach and julie xxx


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## LouisandPhoebe

Hi

We have not gone through the CP yet but my partner adopted our son last year - i did not have to give up parental responsibility.  It was a very simple process and for number 2 he is going to use same paperwork but just change the names.  I hope it all goes ok for you and if you need any info feel free to e-mail me.  Good luck

Love Charlie


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## evelet

We looked into me adopting Jude when we first moved here and had a visit from a social worker from our local authority. They advised us to wait until we had had future children (as we have always planned that DP carry the babies) as it is easier to just adopt them all at once. We have been informed that our local authority (North Lincolnshire) do an abbreviated format of a 'proper' adoption i.e. we will be interviewed at some length etc. Local authorities differ in their approaches as there are no standardised guidelines. None of this stuff could exactly be described as simple but it IS worth doing... If anyone wants to PM me for further info that's fine - I can  recommend  4 or 5 different specialist lesbian lawyers who deal with this stuff (as well as Natalie who posts on the ask a lawyer thread).


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## struthie

I have updated the list,if anything is wrong please let me or when Marie is back please let her know,good luck everyone xxx


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## duff

Hurray Eve and Ros!!!     BIG congratulations to you, what wonderful news.

Well, big decisions have been made at the house of duff.  We've jumped off the fertility clinic rollercoaster half way round the loop-the-loop!  

It was a tough call, because we've honestly spent an absolute fortune over the years.  Then, about three weeks ago, I was thinking how much I hate my job and wishing I was going to be studying for an MA next year.  I thought "I can't study for an MA because I have to work at the job I hate in order to pay for the fertility treatment that may or may not work.." and EUREKA!!  

So the plan is to change my work, study for the MA and have very friendly, casual home inseminations using a friend as a donor and with my darling T in charge of the speculum.  If it hasn't worked in 18 months/2 years or so then we've still got the money saved for the big old Sci Fi PGD and IVF malarky.  We both had a friend in mind and he has said he's interested!  We've got some talking to do with him over the next few weeks but hopefully it will all work out.  

Anyway, love to all and best of luck to all of us still trying.


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## amandanvee

Hi Everyone,

    Just to say a big thank you to everyone who has posted a reply to our question, all your replies have been a great help, and things we will look into.

  Once again many thanks.

  Best wishes to all on this site  

    Amanda & Vee


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## evelet

Duff - that sounds like a fabulous decision to me. I am really glad that you are going to keep trying with home inseminations though. I think you will make fantastic parents (Jude was very keen on the pair of you  )


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## pem

Hi everyone!!

How absolutely fantastically spectacular is this weather we are having, i want to put my tent up in the back garden and sleep out there!!! On the other hand, for you pregnant ladies bet it is a bit hot and sweaty!

*Duff* - how great to hear from you and what a brilliant decision to make, i am in the second year of my PhD at the moment and DIY home insem is definitely a a better way forward for us financially, luckily for me i am funded, but still don't bring home a lot of pennies... So, all the luck in the world to The House Of Duff and i hope your decision liberates you from the emotional rollercoaster that is ttc, good luck with your donor and all your up and coming conversations!!

*Amandanvee*- Just a quick good luck to you and your partner for July!!

*EveandRos* - Congratulations again, hope early pregnancy is serving you well and you are not too sick/tired/emotional yet!!!!!!

*Sharyn* - oooooh, really good luck for tomorrow..sending you lots and lots of     !

*Gina* - Wow, 22 weeks pregnant already, that has gone by so quickly, i bet you feel fantastic, how is this heat treating you?Are you 'Blooming' as they say??

*Mable* - how are things going for you? Have you done anything reckless with the buserelin yet Sending your ovaries much     and hoping you can move on with the IVF ASAP!!

*Alison*- Any more tests yet.....hehe bet you are keeping clearblue in business aren't you, I must have done about 15 tests..hope you are well and that you also aren't too sick/tired/emotional!!

Well, I am feeling ok really, have my down days, but am keeping all that for a different thread, so all my positivity stays here with you guys!!! Love this weather, am out all the time hurting myself!! Has anyone got any offerings of advice re the Clearblue fertility monitor v standard OPK and mucus watching. I am debating buying a monitor for when we start again ( which won't be for a little while, but planning keeps me sane) , but am wondering if it is worth it..any help appreciated.

Hi to everyone else and love and luck to all!!

Emma


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## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Pem* - glad you're enjoying the lovely weather. I have to admit the extra stone I'm now carrying, plus the mini-radiator in my belly is making the warm days a little less pleasant than they otherwise would be. I don't seem to have ankles any more and my crocs are the only thing I can fit on my feet. I also seem to want to sleep all the time - it's been like being back at the 8 week exhaustion stage again for the last few days. I'm hoping its just a passing phase though. I am blooming in all other ways though. Time is passing scarily quickly though.

As for monitoring, the standard OPKs do nothing for me as I seem to surge for days at a time, but mucus watching was a sure fire winner. On the cycle we conceived we actually decided to inseminate earlier than the clinic recommended based on my mucus alone. It was clearly the right call to make. I've never used the monitor thingy so can't give you an opinion on that one.

*Duff*, I am so, so happy to hear your news. I really hope things go well with your discussions with your friend, and with your studies! It sounds fantastic. I so hope it works out well for you. I know we couldn't have tried for as long/as many tries as we did if we'd been going the clinic route and will always be ever so grateful to our donor for helping us to keep things simple. Plus, there's nothing like being able to snuggle up in bed together after an insemination at home, hoping that a miracle is happening underneath the covers. Incidentally, we never used a speculum for our insems, just a plain old syringe (well, a new one, fresh each time, but you know what I mean). And Rae swears that the time it worked it worked because she laid her head on my belly and talked to the sperm, giving them directions.... 

Well *Sharyn*, it's now test day over there for you, although its still the early hours of the morning and I'm guessing you're still snoozing. I've got my fingers crossed for you. Let us know how it goes...

Sending big hugs to everyone else!

Gina. x


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## starfish3

Hi all

Cant remember who it was that said after Alsion and Evelet had BFP's this week that it was my job to make it 3 in a row.

Well I have!!!!! I am pregnant!

[fly]             [/fly]

Can't quite believe it but beta 390 yesterday. Yes i cheated and snuck in an early test. Actually it was a nightmare. Night of 10 June (oringally supposed to test 11 June but yesterday was mine and Do (Roham) 14th anniversary so we decided to wait until June 12)..... but I didnt wait and on evening June 10 on impulse HPT as I had been feeling pregnant for about 3 days.... it was negative so I chucked it in my pocket so I could put it in the study rubbish bin where my DP wouldnt see it BUT when i went to get it out to put in the bin it was positive... but that was after more than 10 minutes so I didnt know if it really was true or false positive... which served me right as i probably didnt wait the recommended 5 mnutes to check for the results in the first place AND I had no other tests in the house... one very spleepless night ... didnt tell DP.... Did another HPT yesterday morning pretending it was the first one... Hey babe happy anniversary!!!! But I did confess my sins and eventually forgiven... Blood test muck up at lab so HCG not back until today....

Anyway actually we are both finding it quite hard to be very excited yet... think after MC Jan last year and then long road to get to here we are just freaking out it might go wrong again. Will feel better after another 2 BETA tests shows right kind of doubling. Retest Thursday. .. but it's one big step in the right direction......

Wishing everyone else heaps of good luck!!! There must be some good star alignment or something going on in the universe for out little bunch of lessies wanting babies right now - so go get em!!!!!

Keep you all posted
Sharyn (starfish 3)


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## pem

[size=30pt][fly]CONGRATULATIONS SHARYN!!!!![/fly]

         

What brilliant news, the girls are on a roll... Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy!!! WooHoo!!!

Ema!!


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## snagglepat

Oh *Sharyn* that's fantastic!!!!! Woo hoo!!!!! And Happy Anniversary too.  What a present!   

I can understand your struggle to connect to the excited feelings though. I think mine only kicked in properly at around 12 weeks because I was so fearful things could go wrong. But as you say, it's one massive step in the right direction. Keep us posted on your Beta results.

OK *Mable* and *Terri*, we're on a roll here. You guys are next. 

Gina. x


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## rosypie

Brilliant news *Sharyn*!!! Now the next stage of worrying can begin...

*Duff*, great to hear from you again. I'm very excited for you and your brave decision. Lots of luck with that and, of course, lots of luck with the other. Let's hope your course is disrupted for all the right reasons 

My scan is booked for 6 July. I'm trying to think of other things until then. It still feels a bit unreal at the moment.

Love to all. Everything ok your end *Mable*??


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## Mable

Many congrats to Sharyn!!  - lots of rainbow babies just around the corner.

Lovely to hear from *Duff* and to hear your news. Sounds fantastic - you'll probably get up the duff 1st time with the fresh stuff (have been eager to say that for *SO* long).

Still downregging - hot flushes day and night, headaches, bloated tum ... scan tomorrow to see if right ovary is reduced - not hopeful by the size of it last week, could only fit 2 of the follies on the screen (gasp gasp). Have ordered a shed load more buserelin...

Spent most of yesterday counselling a client who has found herself pregnant and is trying to work out whether to have a termination or not. Really couldn't be bothered. With all we go through trying to get pregnant it seems a bit unreal that a woman with an alcohol problem can get pregnant from a one night stand.

Who are we rooting for now? Is anyone else out there on the 2ww - all our positive thoughts seem to be working.
Mable


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## lucky2010

*Gina*.... you've only put on a stone?! I'm very jealous as I've already put on 2!!!! I'm starting to get a little paranoid actually as EVERYONE comments on how big i am etc. i have tried to ignore them but when consultants at work are commenting on the size of me, not to mention putting hands all over the bump I am getting worried! At the 20wk scan all my measurements were spot on 20wks so he's not a 'big baby', or wasn't at that stage.... why is my bump so big??!! I am seeing the midwife on Thurs so hopefully she'll reassure me I am 'normal'!

Sorry for rant!!

*Duff*, great descision, just ask if you need any tips!!

Love Rach xx


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## caz nox

Hello all, 

I need a few pointers...a long story but hubby and I have decided to try self insemination, so, we have been trying it the last couple of days as I have EWCM started on Sunday and every day since. Question is, is there a "method" of doing this ie with pot and syringe - which we have been doing... have you got any tips for me? 

Thank you all in advance

May all your dreams come true.... 

Carrie


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## pem

Hi Carrie,

There is a thread with a load of information on below

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=80125.0.

We managed it at home with a 10ml syringe and a pot, you can also get a kit from ebay which is directed at lesbians, but has some really useful advice in it for everyone.

I think the thread above has all the info you could possibly need, these girls gave me all the help i could ever need!!

Good luck for this cycle   

Emma!!


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## caz nox

Thank you Emma!


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## snagglepat

Hi Carrie,

We used the pot and syringe method too, though we used a 5ml syringe - hips raised on a pillow, and we did it last thing at night so we could stay lying down for hours afterwards. EWCM was the winning pointer for us too. Good luck!

*Rach*, please don't worry about your weight - we all gain differently. I've been surprised I haven't gained more as I grew up with my Mums tales of how she put on tons of weight while pregnant that she never than managed to lose. I was expecting to explode - and maybe I will as yet. (And according to the scales this morning I'm actually 1 stone 3 lbs up, so it's increasing rapidly...) I'm just trusting that with breastfeeding and baby carrying (neither of which my Mum did) I'll lose whatever I gain eventually. And people keep telling me I'm huge too - so it might just be the thing that everyone does, after all, we are huge compared to our non-pregnant selves, and we're just going to get huger. (Our baby is measuring a bit large size-wise - though still in normal range, which is kind of scary from an 'I have to push it out' perspective. There's a lot to be said for having an average sized baby!)

I got kicked in the ribs for the first time today. I have no idea how s/he reached up so far as I didn't think my uterus was that high yet. It nearly made me jump out my chair!

*Rosy*, I have to ask, what are your instincts saying on the double trouble front for you?

Best wishes to all,

Gina. x


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## caz nox

Thank you both for your messages. 

Looks like I have been doing it right...time will tell! 

Take care all

XXX


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## pem

Hi again!

Clearly i have FF madness today, started to work again today from home, have FF open on browser, not a good thing at all, have to get work done, DP will ctach m eon here and be extremely cross!!!! hehehehe!!

*Gina* Your poor feet and ankles, at leats you're looking good in your crocs and aren't stuck with something nasty on your feet!!! Think i am going to go with the EWCM, using some cheapy OPK's off the net to back it up, doesn't make sense to me to inseminate unless EWCM is present. We aren't really focusing on immediate ttc for now, going to go on holiday and then move on with it, letting the mind/body heal!! Hope the podlet chills out on the growth front, so you don't have to suffer too much on the 'pushing it out' perspective!!! Big Baby, lots of strong kicks....sounds like you have a lot of fun in store!!

*Mable * - We are rooting for YOU and Terri now!!!!!! My dp has to see young people about unwanted pregnancies etc and she also finds it really hard at times, it can be hard to understand how this world works....   . I admire your strength through what you've been through these past few weeks!! Heres    for a MASSIVE reduction in that ovary!!

Love to all , absolutely must do some work now!!

Emma xx


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## Alison0702

everyone

Huge congrats to *Sharyn*        
You see, no symptoms are good! Bet you're over the moon. Well done you!

*Duff* Great decision and much less stress. Hope everything goes well.  

*Ema* How do you feel after a day back to work?  I only used the Clearblue digital OPK's and they seemed to work - however I never got pg on IUI so whether I was getting "done" at the right time-who knows! I wouldnt even know where to start with mucus watching.  I have done 8 tests now, but still have 7 lurking so they will be used-theres no doubt about that! 

*Mable* - Good luck for the scan tomorrow. Hope that follie is nice and small.  

*Ros* How are you feeling? I'm quite tired and yawn a lot during the day. Must look very unproffessional but I dont care. 

*Gina* This heat must be a nightmare for you. It's bad enough for me. 

I'm going through a worry stage at the mo. Started getting a few wierd pains down there last night only on the left side. Today, I had a few on the right side. Oh the worrying never stops  I book the date for my scan on Thursday, and it should be in a couple of weeks, so I am looking forward to that (I think)

Hi to everyone else
xx


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## magsandemma

Hi girls,

Just a quick one, was just trying to quickly catch up on thread so much happening and more BFPs      , thats fantastic news,      !
Still have no internet at home so just cathing up at work when I can get a Quick peek really!!

Well things here ok, have hospital booking appt on monday and next community midwife on wednesday, so hopefully will be able to listen to bean again, which would be nice!

Well I hope you are all ok, and hopefully get a chance to get on soon and have proper catch up.

Take care
Speak soon
Maggie xx


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## irisbea

Congratulations to all the newly pregnant people! fantastic news

We have been away for 4 weeks so it was a lovely surprise.

my partner now has a definate bump and we had our scan last week and everything is fine he/she was moving around like crazy. We have started to tell people and its lovely when people are really excited and happy for you, my friends italian mother whos quite conservative and a strict catholic has knitted us some bootees as a traditional italian good luck gift!My partner had a horrible experience when she told her uncle though who said he 'couldnt say he was happy ' and later that he was 'devastated'  hateful man, the bestest news in all the world and hes devastated by it, anyway we are never going to see him again so we shouldnt have to hear any more of that

I am reading about attachment parenting which is interesting  also a book on unconditional parenting which I like

love to all irisbea


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## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Irisbea*, I've just finished reading 'Three in a bed' by Deborah Jackson and I've got a lot out of that - it's very much along AP lines. I think its great that there are quite a few of us that are not only same-sex couples having babies at around the same time but are also likely to be following similar parenting ideals. I've now moved on to a breast feeding book and, I don't know if it's co-incidence or not, but I woke up this morning and my boobs were leaking! At least it proves they're working...

I'm really sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time with some of your partner's family. It's so unnecessary, but at least as you say, you won't be seeing him again.

Good to hear from you again *Maggie*. Hearing that heart beat is amazing isn't it? I love hearing the sound of the blood passing through the placenta as well - just as magical. We now know that my placenta is at the front so I don't know if we hear it more than normal as a result, but generally whenever anyone tries to find the baby's heart beat they have to get past that first. 

*Alison*, those aches and pains in the first weeks are really scary - especially as there are so many of them and sometimes they can really hurt! I found it hard to believe that they really were normal, despite everyone's assurances on this site that they were. You'll be pleased to hear that they do ease off, and they're a great sign that your uterus is already expanding more than it ever has before to accommodate your miracle(s). 

*Mable*, thinking of you for your scan today. Fingers crossed for a much reduced ovary for you. xxx

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


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## Alison0702

Gina - I know what you mean about the pains. of course I'm going to feel something, things are changing in there. It already feels tightish down there. I've had a few niggly pains today but nothing major. 

*Irisbea* Some people are just so horrible. But at least you wont be seeing that small minded, inconsiderate man again 

*Mable* Hows those follies today?


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## Mable

20+ huge ones on the right ovary (gasp, gasp, gosh this is an active ovary).

Downregging for another 2 weeks....

Alison - those pains are completely normal - I remember E complaining of cramps and stretching pains, it's growing in there! Be reassured.


I'm quite pro AP but think having the baby in it's own bed by 6 months is the best for one's sanity. Too much sleep deprivation takes its toll after a while.

Monty is so cute and responsive, saying 'ball', 'more' and 'bye bye' is SO CLEVER! E is telling me that this is a very boring thing to post, but it is so exciting for me, I've been at work all day after all.

Best wishes to all
Mable the DOWNREGGER OF THE BLOODY YEAR!


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## starfish3

Hi Mable - yes I think you are right - you are the donwregger of the year....you gotta get there eventually so hang on!!!!!    

Nervously waiting my second BETA test today. Work sucks.. going to mediation over employment dispute but if embryo stays on board I will probably have to give in and sign on the dotted line. Can't risk a stable income, chance to be at home with family and my maternity leave just for the sake of principle.. otherwise I shall have to take locum work around the country and what will we survive on when baby comes (I am the breadwinner in our family, DP is at home with our other 2 kids 12 and 14).... I hate to give in to managerial bullying but I dont have time, energy or money to go down Employment Court route... pragmatism sucks... would rather focus my energy on more positive things...

So do we have nayone else on 2ww now? Or have we come to the end of our roll?

Have a great day
Sharyn


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## lucky2010

*Mable*, certainly downregger of the year!!!! I hope the next two weeks is less frustrating x

*Gina*, so weird... I bought Breast is Best as reccommended by tamsin and when I'd read the first bit i woke up with leaky boobs too.... also at 22 weeks, very strange!!!!

Hi to all

Rach xx


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## Alison0702

Leaky boobs everywhere 

*Mable* I honestly take my hat off to you to stay so motivated. Another 2 weeks  Ju said to tell you she is asking after you. Hope the next 2 weeks fly by for you - is that when your next scan is?
and Gina have reassured me about the niggly pains. I've got them again tonight on my left side. 

*Sharyn* What a nightmare you're having with work. At least you're off at the moment so not facing the stress quite so much.

Not sure if anyone watched Hells kitchen a year or so ago, but the winner was a geordie and opened his own restaurant called Rockafella in Newcastle. We went there tonight and nearly everything on the menu was shellfish or had a shellfish sauce. Really struggled and nearly went somewhere else. But, stayed and had sea bass without the scallops. It was ok, but nothing to write home about. I was dying for the mussles and prawns but had to give them a miss.

I'll tell you what, when I get cold, I think my nips are going to drop off. The pain is bad and it takes ages for them to get back to normal  Bit embarrassing when it happens at work and spend a lot of time walking round with my arms crossed  

Bye for now
x


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## lucky2010

alison, that happens to Julie all the time, she says it's like she has pliers on her nips.... she gives the warning 'my nipples are about to go' and I have to crank up the heating and get her a jumper.... a nightmare as i'm always hot!!!!

Rach x


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## evelet

arghhh Mable two more weeks!  they should give you a prize and a sash.

@ anyone thinking of co-sleeping - we still do it at least part of the time and Jude is nearly two! Its never bothered us (sometimes we choose to put him in our bed even when he is asleep in his own bed) and we've always found it to be a very positive thing but we do also enjoy it when he's tucked up in his own bed. A quite  useful book is the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (I think that's what its called). 

Ros is SO grouchy at the moment. She got really really mad  last night because Big Brother was on at 9 instead of 10 and she missed it. She was literally stomping around the house in a rage....

Alison/Sharyn - how are you feeling Are you both uber-grumps?


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## rosypie

grrrrr, I am NOT a grouch!! Am I? It's true about big brother though, why can't they keep to a schedule?

re: cosleeping, just had to add to what Evelet said. It initially started because jude does not, and has never, slept through (I didn't until I went to school apparently; my mother has great pleasure in reminding me). Having him in our bed was an easy way to carry on sleeping: he mostly goes straight back to sleep in our bed as compared to an hour spent comforting and re-settling him in his own bed. We're used to it now and even more, we see it as a positive thing.

*Sharyn*, it's so awful to have trouble at work at a time like this, because the last thing you need is questions surrounding your income. I really hope you get a conclusion that you can live with.

*Mable*, Mable, Mable, what are we going to do with you and your ovaries? You must be FULL of holes by now with all those injections. I don't know what kind of prize you deserve but it definitely should be a big one. Good luck with the next 2 weeks. Thinking of you and still sending those positive vibes.


----------



## pem

Hello all!!

God, you guys, i hope you can keep up the positive thoughts for me, i appreciate it may be quite a few weeks b4 i get going again but i am worried that all the     may have run out and all you newly pregnants will be sooooo sick tired and emotional you'll have no   left.....and me thinks that i'll be 2ww on my own, that is when we get there again. All the BFP's on this board do fill you with positive thoughts though!!!

I have officially put myself on a diet, doing lots of  and  as I cannot fit into hardly any of my clothes...    .
Went to Everest Base Camp last year, was uber-fit and thinner than i have ever been in my life, then came back, started thinking about ttc again , eat loads, did not enough exercise, got pregnant, eat more....now i am just toooo chunky, with no beanie blame it on anymore...!!!! So, its spinach and houmous all the way from now on..no more cheese..   !!!

On a positive note, the garden is suppying us with loads of spinach, baby carrots, braod beans and purple sprouting broccoli with sugar snaps etc coming a close second!!! So i have excuse for not managing the 5 a day!! How is everybody else's veggie growing going?

*Alison* - How you feeling, apart from the sore nips, cramps and strecthing pains....    ? Work is not to bad for me, as i work from home doing a PhD, so basically just sit in the conservatory, tapping away or reading away or doodling away or watching loose women or messing on FF..naughty girl!!

*Irisbea* - what a horrible man..my DP has a nan like that, she is religous and thus everything about us is perverted, wrong and simply unacceptable.. i just think let people have their opinions, you know you will be fantastic parents, even though it is hurtful.

*Mable* - Wow, such tremendous motivation, here is a little prize for you!!


Anyway, much love to everyone, I HAVE to go and so some work now!!

Emma (with the big belly and wobbly bottom!!)


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## TerriWW

Hello

Noticed a couple of comments on co-sleeping. Couldn't find the initial comment/question but thought I'd chip in..

Angus woke every 2 hours for the first 10.5 months ( I wish I was exaggerating!) but I never properly co-slept with him. I'd bring him into bed with me late in the night (5am say) as then I thought I wouldn't go deep enough to sleep for anything bad to happen. The only reason I didn't sleep with him is fear of cot death. The health visitors scare the life out of you - and the baby is so precious you feel you can't risk anything. 

Anyway Angus then slept through on his own until about 2 months ago (aged about 22 months )when he started waking in the night again and wouldn't settle - so I started bringing him in with me and he sleeps fine when I do - so much easier! And it's actually quite nice most of the time. He probably manages one full night in his own bed a week at the moment.

If I were to be a birth mother again. I would definitely co sleep - in a double bed (ours is 6 ft!) but on my own so there could be plenty of room between me and the baby (avoiding overheating squashing etc). As it is, our plan is for Julia to have number 2 so although I will have input it will be her decision really as she will be breast feeding. I will support whatever she wants to do but would support her co-sleeping in the hope that she'd get more sleep than I did. Have to honestly say that 10.5 months nearly killed me - and it had to be me as I was breast feeding (til 14 months) and Angus wouldn't take a bottle!  

Just want to say congratulation to everyone who is pregnant - soooo many of you  

Julia will have been downregulating for 3 weeks on sunday and goes to the clinic monday to make sure everything is ok and ready for stimulating ... finger crossed


----------



## rosypie

It just goes to show, what an inconsistent place the world of baby advice is!! My health visitor positively encouraged co-sleeping and the hospital sent me home with leaflets on how to do it safely. Weird, eh?

Fingers crossed for Monday and Julia's downregging. Bring on the the next stage...


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## TerriWW

Really?!!!

How annoying! Mine definitely put me off it she said the only way was if you had the moses basket on the bed next to you but not the baby in the bed! That makes me feel a bit cross when I think of the hours I spent trying to settle him in his cot or just sitting up holding him so he could sleep safely in my arms - all because this silly woman kept going on about cot death!  

Oh well


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## snagglepat

Oh *Terri*, that really is contrasting advice to what I've been reading recently. You might both want to give 'three in a bed' a read before you have another as it actually discusses the research into co-sleeping and cot death and how, as long as the people sleeping with the baby are not smokers, are in good health and haven't taken any drugs or alcohol that might reduce their awareness that it's actually safer to have the baby in bed with you. I'm really frustrated on your behalf now.

*Emma*, there'll be tons of positivity here whenever you need it, don't you worry. I reckon we should all get pregnant this year. Half of us already have...

*Rach*, that _really_ is weird. I was reading Breast is Best too, also based on Tamsin's recommendation. Maybe it has some strange hidden powers....  No leaking this morning though.

*Alison*, again this might be conflicting advice but I was told that shellfish was OK as long as it was fresh and freshly cooked. It's the raw fish and those that have been cooled or recooked (like prawns often are) that carry the food poisoning risk.

OK, I've just looked it up and according the Food Standards Agency it's different again - see here: http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/asksam/agesandstages/pregnancy/

Confused? I know I am.

Anyway, gotta get off to our doggy training classes! Best wishes to everyone,

Gina. x

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## starfish3

Morning all

just a quick check in .... second BETA yexterday wa good 390 to 1400 after 3 days... relief.... no doubt will start stressing again about Sunday for Monday's test. In meantime trying to spend a little bit of time on the work stuff.. going to see a counsellor today - hoping it will help to shape my thoughts a little clearer but will have to wait for the mediation to hopefully make some progress. Trouble is what I need/want with our roster is quite different depending on whether I maintain a viable pregnancy or if I need to start tripping back to Australia again for further FET's.... hopefully it wil be 2-3 weeks until mediation and all being okay with bubs at that point will make me feel more reassured.. when I get past point at which mc occured last time and I see a heartbeat.

Emma - we will still be here for you when it's your turn..... but time drags so slowly doesnt it because there is nothing you can do at the moment... hang in there   

Alison - my understanding about seafood was nasty harbour for Listeria... but then as a veggie I havent taken too much notice of meaty things but I'd love some feta or a diet coke, neither of which I have had since January. But I'd happily miss out anything that might be a risk.

Can I ask what everyone else has done about exercise in first trimester. Went to the gym yesterday for the first time since I found out I was PG  and had gone a couple of times during 2ww... only doing upper body stuff or below knees exercises... no cardio or abdominal stuff... my gym membership runs out end of June and I would like to keep going til then... at moment it's helping wioth stress-release over the work saga. The books says just keep on doing what you usually do. Doing lots of wlaking but weather finally given in to real winter this week which is putting a dampner on that. Your thoughts/experiences appreciated.

Catchya soon
Sharyn
New Zealand


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## starrysky

Hi everyone

I don't know everyone now as I a such an irregular visitor so hi to people I haven't met before! I am still trying to get that laptop and when I do I am sure i will post more.

Mable - Lovely to hear about Monty. He is so cute and I bet he can make you laugh through all of the tx stress!!! Adam rejected my cauliflower cheese the other day with such a look on his face that I laughed more than I have in months. It was like "you're giving me *that*.....".

Alison - if Mable is Downregger of the Year I was Period Pain in Pregnancy Sufferer of the Year, only kept going by hearing that Edith had the same, and so many other people. I think it is more unusual not to. Right through the pregnancy I had low cramps at the front then backache of a period kind. I may have missed the date but when is your scan? So excited for you!!!

Regarding co-sleeping I had a really tough time with this at the start. Being so medicalised, and so scared, through the pregnancy I carried that forward to co-sleeping and didn't do it at first. It was only when I read the book The NCT Guide to Sleep that I started to think differently, when he was a few weeks old. The book looks at all the options and other things like the effects of sleeplessness on grown ups. With hindsight I would much more readily co-sleep if I had the chance again, because he did sleep when we co-slept. Trying to get him to sleep in his cot went on all night and I really suffered from the sleeplessness. We usually clear some space in the bed with one of us going into the other room and move the duvet away from him and keep him in his growbag. He has been waking up at 5 every morning recently but falls asleep as soon as he comes into the bed, that is bliss!

Congratulatuons Starfish! Sending you . About exercise, I was never a big exerciser before I got pregnant!! But I think take it easy. I had a very heavy bleed at week ten of my pregnancy which coincided with me walking up a big hill. I was going very slowly, stopping for lots of rests etc. I think it would have happened anyway (and maybe it needed to happen - I had a second sac with no heartbeat and that effectively miscarried) but I have always linked the two in my mind.

Hi Gina - I like your reckoning, that everyone will get pregnant this year!!! My DP Jo is going to have a cou0ple of tries too.

Bye for now

Heather


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## starrysky

Me again!

I meant to ask are there any Pride plans this year?

Heather


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## irisbea

yeah pride would be great, when is it?


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## evelet

we were thinking of trying to arrange something for Pride (lots of us marched together last year as 'pushchair pride' but i think its going to be too much this year. i desperately want Ros to rest as much as possible as she is knackered from looking after an incredibly active Jude. 

re: co-sleeping - just wanted to say that ros and i always always always stayed together in bed. it seemed incredibly important to us maintaining our relationship above and beyond that of our relationship with Jude that we carried on sleeping together. when he was very teeny Ros used to put him on the other side of her (i.e. not in between us) between her and a tightly rolled blanket as I was extremly fearful of squishing him. In fact the ace health visitor talked to us about how to lie so we don't roll over etc so we were ok. To be honest, once I woke to find his head under my pillow (yes with my head on top!) but he was bigger by then and when i tried to move him he put his head back (he could breathe fine as his head was turned to the side). Go figure....

Mable - you have to downreg for TWO MORE WEEKS. blimey. that hadn't registered with me. 2 weeks! we are sending you lots of downregging vibes....


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## pem

Hiyah!!

Thanks everyone for all your reassurances, had a chronic 'wobble' last night, my paranioa, negativity and irrationality knows no bounds, running along the lines of 'I will never get pregnant', 'i will m/c every time if i do', 'P (our lovely and wonderful donor) is going to move to Outer Mongolia and therefore will not be able to donate, 'The house is going to fall down, 'The world is coming to an end', 'earwigs and slugs are going to take over the planet' etc etc etc..... Dp must love me to put up with it..feel better this morning though, P is coming over for tea, so i can feed him lots of Spinach and zinc related products...gotta keep my eye on those   !!!

*Sharyn* - Congrats on the beta levels it's nice to know everything is going well!! RE- exercise in pregnancy, I wish i had kept it up.... I stoppped my regular exercise whilst ttc early this year, i don't use a gym, but am very active, doing Mountain biking, scrambling, hiking etc etc and i plan to simply carry on with it all (bar the serious mountain biking) if and when we do get pregnant again. All the advice does state to carry on with what you normally would, as long as you are not so out of breath you can't speak!!!! I am trying to get into running at the moment, so i can carry on with that. But when i stopped exercising , i just got fat and unfit quick and felt horrible, think the weight went on easier because i was pregnant, dont know. I think it's ok to exercise ..just possibly avoid the cross country skiing, climbing Mount Everest and bungee jumping    Anyway, i bet these girls on here have better advice than me, keep up the walking..even in the rain!!!

*Gina* - Hope the doggy training went well, i had a doberman when i was little that i used to take to training, it was hilarious, mad dogs, mad instructor, mad owners, pee everywhere on the wooden floor.   ...it worked though!!!!

Re - Pride, me and DP are BAD lesbians... we have never been to Pride, never been involved in much 'LGB' related stuff, too busy at home planting veggies and wearing my slippers..hehehehe!!

Much love to everyone..thinking of Mable downregging...   

Enjoy Your weekends!!

Emma xx


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## Mable

Emma - let's officially be cycle buddies! I recon by the time we are both ready, we might be in sync!

Have a nice weekend everyone - my tomatos are doing very well (have hung some banana skins near them to help the fruits turn red).
Mable


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## pem

Mable...sounds like a good idea, Maybe we will bring eachother some luck!! I really hope for some luck for you, you have had such a tough time..me thinks Edith needs to treat you to something!!! 

I am hoping beyond hope that i start my next cycle (i.e Aunt Flo arrives) in around two weeks, but i have no clue if and when anything will happen. I don't really want it to happen before then, as it will be too soon.. i guess i will have to wait and see... Added to which, i get to feeling guilty on the beanie for making plans..but my mum (wise old sage that she is), tells me to not be so silly..

And, banana skins, that sounds like a good idea, never thought of that, they make the fruit in your bowl turn don't they?? I am now off out to buy Sainsburys out of FT bananas so i can make banana cake (obviously not for me...i am on a diet !!!!! ) then hang all the skins next to DP's tomatoes, mmmm, i love tomatoes, particularly beef tomatoes with buffalo mozzarella and olive oil!!

Must Dash...washing to be hung out b4 the rain comes!!

Love all round!!

Emma xx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Wow I've been away on holiday and come back to hear all your  news- there is definitely   babydust on here!!

Starfish and Eve and Ros huge congratulations  

Hoping that you are all keeping well.

L xx


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## Alison0702

Eeh I've only been away for a day and look at all this news!!!!! 

*Emma* - You're daft as a brush  We will all still be here when you next try hunny, and will definetley send you loads of positive vibes. Promise! I like the sound of your day doodling and stuff. I am finding work a bit tough at the moment as I am busy from the moment I get in, until I leave and it's wearing me out. I'm going to spend the next 8 months persuading Ju that I shouldn't go back to work as I am a good housewife etc etc etc.    Stay positive you xxx

*Gina* I loooovvvvvee prawns and wish they were ok to eat. Unless I have cooked it, I am going off meat. Ordered a chicken chow mein last week and sat and picked all of the chicken out as I was obsessed that it was undercooked. Woke up thru the night with wind pains and was positve I had food poisoning.   Ju is convinced I am turning into a neurotic nutter    How is Digger getting on in his training classes. Ellie went when she was a puppy, but she was so disobedient, it was embarrassing so stopped taking her and made a complete mess of raising her myself   She's great now though, although she did shred a cushion the other night when we went out 

*Heather* - I wish you would get a new laptop too  Not too sure about Pride this year. Are you talking about Brighton? 

*Sharyn* - You sound a bit chirpier that the other day  You take care of yourself and dont do too much at the gym. I'm no good at giving any advice about excercise as the only exercise I get is walking the dog. But its very enjoyable. 

I'm all miserable tonight as Ju has gone to the lakes with a few friends to do the sea to sea cycle ride from Workington back home. It's 150 miles over 3 days. She's back Monday night so it's gonna be a long weekend. 

Oops nearly forgot....I rang the hospital yesterday and they have booked my scan for 29th June, so another 2 weeks to go. Hope the time flies by.


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## Mable

Hello,
How are all you pregnant people doing then?? Come on, tell us all your news.

My belly is black and blue with bruises and I've got a week and a half to go before my next scan - really dragging and I am loosing any hope I did have that I'll ever get fully downregulated - is it possible to remain stimulated for ages, I wonder?

Monty took his first steps at the weekend - giggling to himself as he did it! E and I have developed a cheerleader type song where we clap and dance to celebrate when he's done something well (like learning to go down a step backwards, for example). We spent the weekend dancing around cheering him on as he let go of things and stumbled forwards. He really is a toddler now.

Time to get pregnant. 
 to all trying at the mo
Mable


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## pem

Hi all!!

Well, again, all me and DP have done this weekend is exercise.. my DP tells me that one of her freinds says that exercise after a traumatic situation is a form of self-harm.. i mean i am not excessive with it, i have been in the peaks looking at amazing views, not running for a million hours on a treadmill till i feel faint and collapse at the point of exhaustion.!! Well, it is doing me the 'world of good' as they say, so i am sticking with it. I am also losing weight..all the better for trying again!!

I am kind of dreading AF coming again, as it will be back into the whirlwind of checking ewcm and peeing on b****y sticks, where did i put that lurvely plastic speculum again? Still paranoid that our lovely donor will change his mind..even though he does not show any sig ns of doing so and does in fact ask when the next time will be..irrational..yes..stupid..yes..ttc yes!!

*alison* - thanks for the support...Good luck with the housewife ambition, i am chief housewife in our house and have no intentions of working for at least a year after we have a little beanie..i am very lucky that DP considers me a 'good enogh' housewife for the purpose ( have to write that, incase she is reading this!!). Have to say, i am an expert in all things housewife.don't know if that is something to be proud of or not!!

*Mable* - Monty sounds lovely...First Steps...wow, wow wow, bet that was so exciting, now you will spend years chasing him around!!! Hope you bet some good news on your next scan!!

where have all the pregnant people gone? We want to hear your news.!!

Love and  to everyone!!

Emma


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## magsandemma

Hi girls

Well we still have no internet at home, which is such a pain, so just trying to catch up with my lunch at work,    .

pem  -  Sounds like you have had a very healthy wekend, god even the thought of excerise knackers me these days,   .

mable  -  Bless you with you bruises, I must admit i am so glad that my Im injections are all finished, even tho we stopped them 4wks ago, I still have a lumpy bum   , hopefully you will be downregged again soon, so that you can get started again, with more monitoring this time too    so good that monty is taking a few steps now, he lloks so cute in his piccie!!

Well things with us are good at the mo, my hip pain seems to have improved and I had my first appt with hospital midwife today which was good, have been having niggly pains on left side so we had a listen to the heartbeat and all sounded fine which was reassurring, altho I have protein in my wee, so may have a UTI, just need to wait on results now to see if need antibiotics, had loads of blood taken this morning also.  Was told also that after my next scan to see the consultant, as they may want to do scans at 28wks and 34wks as it was IVF baby, which would be lovely to see little one again then,    .

Hope all you other pregnant ladies are doing well, got to rush back to work again!!!

looking forward to getting to meet you all at some point soon!!

Speak soon Maggie xx


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## starfish3

Hi all

Checking in as requested - in blind panic last 24 hours before my third beta as had felt no PG symptoms whatsoever for a couple of days until about 1 hour before blood test. Anyway all seem okay, Beta gone fromm 1440 to 5650 after 4 days, which means on my beta chart I am about average. Never been content to be called that before but in this instance I am happy. Back to work this weekend.... no further forward on settling dispute over my future employment (restructuring they call it, reducing my salary and making me work worse hours including 10 hours shifts and night shifts is the reality)...going to mediation on 5th July. Hopefully MARK2 will be well entrenched by then, bloods remaining okay and I will get a scan around 2-3rd July just to be sure there is a heartbeat..need to know s/he is gonna hang on in there before I settle as best I can...long saga since Sept 06 and throughly sick of it...glad it will be over one way or another soon. Would really like to tell work where they can stick their job but alas no can do.

Mable - all those jabs - you poor thing - but you gotta keep going.... it's taking a long time but you will get there   ... Monty walking, that's really cool. You'll soon be doing your dance when he stays in one place for 5 minutes!!!! LOL

Maggie - glad things are going well. First mdwife appointment that's a big step.   

Alison - your scan will be just a few days before mine... exciting isnt it. Though I am terrified there will be no heartbeat again.. just have to "face the fear and do it anyway". Did u survive the weekend without DP?

PEM - keep that exercise going. I do find it is good for helping with the stress... shall go off for a walk and a trip to the gym today. It's finally stopped raining after a week and now we have full on frost but atleast blue skies and hint of sunshine. Lost a lot of weight before TCC (for myself not for that reason) and have kept it off for nearly a year but these hormones are making me hungry!!!! Not quite worked out how much weight I should gain in first trimester, trying to make it almost none.... plenty of time for that later huh.

Evelet/Ros - how are things going? Hope you and beanie are okay as we havent heard from you in last few days. 

Take care all
Sharyn
New Zealand


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## rosypie

Poor, poor, mabel. Still sending those positive downreg vibes your direction. So sorry to hear about the black and blue tummy. Could you bring yourself to do them anywhere else? I know I couldn't.

Alison, being a housewife is great, work on Ju all you can. I'd rather spend the time with Jude than have more money than we need so if you can get by on one salary (or two halves or whatever) it's a great option. And, after working I really appreciate the time I get to spend with Jude now. Even at the moment, tired as I am...

Keep those spirits up Emma and good luck with the fresh cycle. I'm envious of all the exercise you're getting, I'd love to be getting exercise but I'm just too damn lazy. Mowing the lawn feels like a marathon at the moment.

Good news about the scans Maggie. It's normally a painfully long wait from 20 weeks to birth with no looks at the bean inbetween. I'm sure your protein thing will be ok, I had that too when pregnant with Jude. I can't even remember how it was concluded so it obviously didn't have any major impact on the thing.

As for me, I'm feeling tired and occasionally sick, although I think it's too early for sickness and it's probably more down to my constant grazing. This wait between BFP and first scan is awful. It's still nearly 3 weeks to wait. I'm sure I'll feel much better after that. I just know that this time round is so different from my first pregnancy. First time around, I floated about for the entire 9 months, negative thoughts never once entering my mind. Maybe it's because I've been more involved this time (even though that sounds crazy, I just turned up at the clinic last time, had the insem and left. It all felt so disconnected), I've felt more invested.

Love to everyone else xx


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## lucky2010

Hello, a pregnant person checking in!!!! I am now 25w + 3 days and feel pretty fab really, I have been very lucky with my pregnancy and I LOVE being pregnant. Yes, my hips and back hurt like hell but I can cope and it's definitely worth it!!! I've only got 32 shifts left at work till I finish (not that I'm counting or anything!!!!) I can feel the baby moving around for most of the day, mostly coinciding with when I'm about to eat or when i lie down to rest! We have a 4D scan on Monday which I will be sure to post a pic of. Otherwise, we are slowly accumulating baby goods and the nursery is being decorated this week and next. I just want to erect the furniture so i can fold away cute clothes!!!!

I am thrilled that so many others have become pregnant and have every hope that all the others will succeed very soon.

A total me post, which I am sorry about but I am being nagged to go and decide what we're having for dinner!!!

Hi to all, Rach xxx


----------



## TerriWW

hi everyone.

Any of you on here a the moment.

Need some info.. julia has just compete 3 weeks of down reg. went to clinic yday and all ok - go go ahead to start the stims on wed. She had a bleed during down reg as expected -it was quite long and has had a few bits of blood until now. Ton ight she's had some fresh blood - about a desert spoonful so far ( sorry TMI). Anyone know if this is ok? We can ring the clinic tomorrow but would love to put our minds at rest.

I've posted this on the general ivf thread as well.

Thanks

Terri


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## Mable

As far as I'm aware, any bleeding whilst downregging is a good thing, you need to completely shut down and have a very thin womb lining ready for stimming. 

Not that I'm downregger of the year or anything! E says all these months on buserelin has changed my personality.  

Glad to hear all the news from all those preggers!
Mable


----------



## snagglepat

Hi Folks,

*Rach*, I think I'm enjoying pregnancy as much as you are, although the swollen feet are now making it hard to walk which I'm sure is going to get very dull by the time 40 weeks comes around. So much for exercise! It'll be great to see your 4D photos. We're back at the hospital next week for another scan to check on the podlet's kidneys. I have to admit I'm looking forward to it a lot more than my ethics say I should. 

*Rosy*, it's not too early for preg symptoms - I have a friend who started throwing up the day after her period was late with both of hers. Welcome to the not-so-pleasant world of the early months of pregnancy.  That wait for the first scan is hell though. You have my sympathy, as do you *Alison*. How are you coping with the waiting game? And you *Sharyn*. I can still remember our drive to the hospital on that first scan day, and how I prepared myself for the worst to try and cope with it. Good luck to you all with it.

*Mable*, so sorry to hear you're still at the downregging lark. I keep thinking of you and sending as many positive vibes to you as I can. You really are going through it. Huge hugs to you. I loved the Monty video too - It had Rae and I crowding round the computer screen going 'Aw!' lots. 

*Maggie*, my hip pain has been on and off too, after being terrified when it kicked in early on that I'd be crippled by the end. I think you find ways of coping with it and learning what you can and can't do which makes it a lot easier to deal with. And yey for extra scans, though I haven't come across the need for extra ones because of IF before. Lucky you. 

*Emma*, your fitness fanatic weekend sounds fab. I'm craving exercise at the moment, but I'm basically useless from the waist down for anything other than day-to-day survival now. I've dug out our old free weights and keep meaning to at least do an upper body work out, but haven't got round to it yet, and to play it safe I'd want Rae around to spot (we got to know each other through weight training together) and she's been really busy the last few weeks. It's our five year anniversary on Monday and we got together after a training session so maybe it would be worth suggesting it as an anniversary thing to do. Do make the most of your exercise opportunities while you have them. It'll never be the same again afterwards! 

Apart from the feet thing all is well here. I was with a client who gave birth just after 3am this morning so am feeling very foggy-brained right now as I've only had a few hours sleep. As I attend more births as time goes on I'm more and more aware that it will be my turn soon. Early this morning I was sitting in a hospital room holding a new baby boy and realising that the baby that was simultaneously wriggling in my belly was only going to be a few months younger than the one in my arms. It was a beautiful birth too. I only have one more client to go before its my turn....

And I was just out in the garden harvesting raspberries. I got a huge bowl full. Yum! I wonder if there'll be any left by the time Rae gets home.     

Sending best wishes to you all,

Gina. x

PS.* Alison*, on Monday night I went out for dinner with Rae and went for a mexican paella. It came out with prawns as well as the chicken, chorizo and calamari that was mentioned on the menu and I devoured every one, and thoroughly enjoyed it! I do think it's a lot easier as things get further on to be confident that all is OK though. I may well not have done the same if I'd been before 12 weeks.


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## pem

Hi all!!!

Mad housewife here!! Making the most of sunny 'hang the washing out day'!!!

God, it's lovely to hear from all you happy pregnant glowing people, gives me so much hope for the future!!

*Gina* Your poor poor feet, good job it's summer or your feet would be getting chilly in those crocs!!! Weight training is pretty impressive!! I am truly appalling at lifting weights, my torso gets all out of sync with my arms and i look like a strange flailing woman, i particularly hate the exercise that tones up the 'bingo wings' , never seem to get the hang of it!!! It's a good thing to do for an anniversary. something different and specific to you two, you'll have to let us know how you get on!!

*Rach* Can't wait to see the 4D pics, oooh, folding little baby clothes and decortaing nurserys, you'll have to post some piccys, so we can all be nosy at your lovely nursery!!

*Rosy*- Fellow Housewife!! I am keeping my spirits up, and I too am damn lazy, that is why i have to exercise now, it takes so much motivation to get me moving, but i theorise that endorphins = happy hormones = happy Emma = healthy body = increased chances for ttc. Well most of the time anyway, on monday, I slobbed on the sofa and watched BB...!! And when i was pregnant, i did NO exercise for fear of doing something wrong and I was blooming knackered!! So keep your feet up and get DP to mow the lawn!!!  

*Mable* - That video of Monty is great, how totally wonderful is he, i bet you could sit and watch him all day, you must be so proud of him!! Hoping you are not too fed up with all those jabs and you are not too much of a 

*TerriWW* - hope the stims have started ok, sending you lots of    for this cycle!

*Sharyn* - Glad all is going well with you, I bet it's stunning walking country over there isn't it, it's weird thinking of you having frosty days when its warm here!! I fully intend to do lots of exercise and make the most of the next few weeks!!

*Maggie* - good news about the scans. Lumpy bum The things we have to put up with!!

*Alison* - Hows things with you??

Well, I think AF has started today, which is about right, all things considered, as i was sure i had ewcm about 10/11 days ago. Good news for me on the one hand, as it would appear that the old body is doing it's job properly but sad as well as it signifies the 'end of the end' if anybody understands what i mean  . I am going to let the body have two cycles b4 trying again, so should be trying again sometime around the end of July.

We are going to Ireland in 2 weeks to celebrate our CP anniversary, we have been 'married' for one year on the 9th July!! I absolutely can't wait, County Kerry is one of my favourite places on earth and can't wait for the sheer beauty of the place to give my soul a good cleansing!! Despite the fact that it will probably rain..   

Love to everyone, may many great days lie ahead for us all!!

Emma


----------



## Alison0702

Sorry I havn't been around this week. I've been fannying about doing nothing really so there's no excuse.
I'm feeling fine, and am worrying a bit that I havnt got  any symptoms yet. Well, apart from when I nip my nips-that really hurts..I know I know    I'm quite moody at the mo too. I hate work and the house is getting on my nerves as it needs a good spring clean and I really cant be bothered to do it. It's not doing my "I'm such a good housewife and I really shouldnt go back to work Juliette" any good - think 'm just tired and irritable and it'll pass soon.  
I'm thinking about my scan all of the time aswell and am feeling pretty nervous yet excited at the same time. 
I called the doctors the day after my test and the midwife still hasnt rang me back and that was nearly 3 weeks ago. How long did it take for yours to call to arrange a visit?

Gina Oh your poor little feet. Can you do anything to help the swelling? Mmmmm that Paella sounds good, but I thought you were a veggie! I probably wont be as neurotic about the seafood thing later on, but at the minute I'll stick to chicken, chicken and more chicken.    Happy 5 years too    

Mable That video of Monty is lovely. We also had a cooing session. He is so cute.    Any news on what year you're starting the stimms   

Emma - Hey well done on the weight loss    Glad AF has arrived (although really not as you shoudnt be in that situation) you know what I'm trying to say albeit badly    At least it's only 2 weeks till your anniversary and hols, that is something to really look forward to.  

Terri There's no such thing as TMI on this thread...We all bleed!    And the more the better when down regging - isnt that right Mable  

Rach Only 32 shifts to go    Just think of the lovely pressies you'll get. You must post some pics of the nursery too, I love to have a neb.  


Hi to everyone else


----------



## starfish3

Hi all

Glad everyone else seems to be doing okay right now..   

Unfortunately I am in slow motion replay here - looking at threatened miscarriage - spotted last night old blood (sorry if tmi) but no more today, niggly womb discomfort, beta has doubled but only just (whereas previously more than doubled)... will have to wait for repeat blood in 4 days to find out unless have heavier bleeding over weekend.... sucks big time.. don't understand why this has to be so hard... truly though with DE on board this time, once i was pg it would be okay...alas I think not..

Unfortunately have to return to work tomorrow as filling in for someone else and can only get out of it if too physically unwell to work (which I am not at present).. heading for another long wait..so what's new??

Will be away from computer for next few days so catch you all after weekend

Hoping everyone else remains in good spirits
Ka kite ano (see ya later)
Sharyn in NZ


----------



## pem

Sharyn, Thinking of you sending you    and lots of     for the next few days. Really hoping everything turns out well for you, DP and the little one.

Emma


----------



## Alison0702

Oh *Sharyn* I hope everything turns out ok sweetie. Will be thinking about you and hope your next post has good news. Hope work is ok for you too.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Sharyn I do hope that everything is ok and it was a scare.  sending you love and good wishes 

L xx


----------



## Mable

Sharyn


----------



## Alison0702

Where has everyone gone  

In answer to the question I posted a few days ago, the midwife called yesterday and I have to call her back on Monday to arrange for her to come out. Not sure what she actually does when she  comes out as it's still early but I'm sure I'll find out soon.  I was wondering how long it took for them to get back to you. It's been nearly 3 weeks.  
Anyway hope everyone ok


----------



## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Alison*, at my first midwife appointment she just sat and had a cup of tea and took my medical history. It's quite detailed. I think it took her about an hour and a half in my case, but then I've got all kinds of weird things in my medical history so maybe it wouldn't take that long for most people. She left me with info about booking into the hospital antenatal classes and a few other things, but I didn't get most info until we went for the 12 week scan and appointment where they took bloods and gave us the full 'Bounty pack'. I get the impression every area is slightly different though.

And no, I'm not veggie. Rae is though. For some reason loads of people seem to assume I am - maybe it's a dreadlock thing...

*Sharyn*, sending you tons of positive thoughts. I really hope things settle for you. I got brown spotting a few times in the first couple weeks, I think the last time was at about week 8 or 9. It's a really common thing to happen and many cases just resolve and don't result in miscarriage. I'm keeping my fingers crossed this is the case for you this time.

*Emma* - I just _love_ weight training. It's my favourite form of exercise, though I haven't done any for ages. I'm planning to get right back into it once the baby arrives though. One of my close friends is a paralympic power lifter - when we used to train together she could bench press me! Rae and I are both closet muscle freaks.  We also like a good bit of rock scrambling too. When we were first together and uber fit we'd be up in Snowdonia at every opportunity. Now I'm struggling to walk to the local shop so I'm guessing it'll be a while before I tackle Tryfan again.

All is well here, apart from the fact I seem to have ended up with the local hospital wanting to turn my pregnancy into something rather closely medically managed - I had two letters through this morning with appointments for scans, obstetrician and cardiologist appointments. I've now dispatched my lovely independent midwife to find out how many of them are really necessary.  She was over here last night for a purely social visit. She's decided that she could really do with a good woman in her life so has set us the task of introducing her to all our single friends. On the phone this morning she told me she'd gone home last night and told her soon-to-be ex husband that she wanted to be a lesbian.  I really like our midwife.

Best wishes to everyone,

Gina. x


----------



## PaulaB

hi, new to FF. am I in the right place? I am 35, gay, have four year old daughter by diui. Now trying for second baby. Have had 9 iuis and five ivf this time with no success. just want to chat to others in similar situations.


----------



## starfish3

Hi All

Back home, tucked up in bed, now have internet in bedroom..which is just as well as i am destined to be spending a lot of extra time here over next while. Bleeding continues , intermittent but everyday, mostly old brown but some fresh, minimal cramps.... BUT beta continues to rise approriately so no miscarriage. Talked to my specialist in Australia today and he says still 70% chance baby will be okay.. if we lose baby probably as a result of whatever is causing the bleeding rather than a problem with baby/placenta as such. So on rest, no work, repeat beta Wednesday and scan at end of week. Odds better than I had hoped, so we will just have to add another long wait..... I am already bored........but if I need to do nothing for next few weeks then that's what I'll have to do. Thanks to everyone for you good wishes.. seems to be working so far.

PaulaB- hello and welcome to our group. Sounds like you re in the right place.   

Hope everyone else had a lovely relaxing weekend without all my tensions and stresses and your fertility is blooming. Do we have anyone on 2WW at present or having treatment soon?

Take care
Sharyn in New Zealand


----------



## lucky2010

Hi *Paula*, Yep, you are in the right place, so welcome . You'll find lots of support , help and knowledge here.

Hi to everyone else. I'm just waiting for the men to delivery the wardrobe for the nursery, the curtains arrived yesterday and we have loads of other stuff stashed up there.... just need to finish the painting then we can put it all up!!!

rach x


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## starfish3

Rach

How exciting, a nursery. Will you have room to fit in the baby when he arrives? LOl. What colours are you painting it?

I said to Ro, DP - if we get this baby to 12 weeks, the first thing we will have to buy is a storage shed, cause we wont be able to fit everything she will buy over the next 6 months in the house. Heaenhelp me!

Sharyn


----------



## Mable

Well that sounds like good news Sharyn, right? Keep taking it easy now.

Welcome to Paula - sounds like you've had quite a journey to try to conceive a sibling. Good luck to you.

Rach- the nursery sounds great! It's so exciting preparing for their arrival.

Am still downregging, but some movement forwards is that I've dumped the old donor and chosen a fresh new one. Luckily, there is now a choice of 3 and we've chosen to go with a different one who sounds much better and has interests that fit in with our family and Monty. It's so wierd choosing a donor isn't it - reading between the lines, trying not to be a snob about the kind of job they do etc! A bit like internet dating - I feel like we've got a new man in our lives.

Can any of you pregnant ladies help me? I was wondering what it is you miss about not being pregnant, what can't you do now that you could before. Have started some exercise, following Emma and Gina's tales of extreme sportyness (can't say I am enjoying it at the mo, lugging my belly around the squash court). Am just trying to make the most of my non pregnant days, in order to stay positive and keep motivated with this downregging nightmare.

Hope nobody went to Glastonbury and got soaked!?
Have a good start to the week everyone, will check in on Wedneday night after my scan. Please keep your fingers crossed for *NO MORE FOLLIES * - this is *SO* boring.
Ta!
Mable


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## rosypie

Sounds promising Sharyn, keep those feet up. Positive thoughts in your direction.

Welcome Paula.

Good news about the donors *Mable*. It is weird choosing. Weird to think that your family is shaped and decided by whoever's contributions are available at the time. The thing I am missing most now that I'm pregnant is rough and tumble with Jude. Throwing him about the place, wrestling on the floor, balancing him on my feet etc, etc. So, get plenty of that in with Monty. I'm not missing anything else really, not being much of an exerciser or drinker, and not liking seafood or funny cheese.

We still haven't sorted out Jude's room properly (and he's nearly 2!) so I'm impressed with your progress *Rach*. We still have curtains in packets, pictures and toys and things piled in boxes in there. Mind you, he spends most of the time in our room so it's not a problem yet. We'll have to make some proper arrangements for the next one though. Think we might have to get ourselves a bigger bed.

Love to everyone else xx


----------



## TerriWW

HI everyone

Thanks for your reponses re ju's bleeding - everything seems to have settled down now and she's 6 days into stims - got a scan today to see how things are starting to grow.

Mable - was interested to read about you changing donor. So you aren't using the same donor as you used for Monty? We are in the same situation. We wanted to use the same donor we had for angus but he had stopped donating and all the sibling sperm was gone. So we've ended up importing a batch from America. When I was trying to conceive angus, as it took 8 goes, and we had to chose from what was available at the time, it was the 4th donor that worked! It was funny, at the beginning we were quite choosey taking our time choosing between those available based on physical characteristics and other personal info. On the last go, there were two to choose from and the nurse told me that Angus' donor's sperm 'preped up really well in the lab' the last time they used it - and that was it I said 'we'll take that one'!! ... And also - I can say that Julia's personality has changed a bit on just 4 weeks of downregulating drugs - she's very emotional - but I can't moan too much as she just reminds me of what I'm like all the time without the drugs - and what she has to live with!!!  

Sharyn - hope everything is settling down and going well for you now - sending you positive thoughts

Terri


----------



## lucky2010

*Mable*, I miss goats cheese (as i'm veggie eating out is hard if you're off goats cheese); i miss being able to bend down to pick things up off the floor without it being a total mission; I fleetingly missed rock climbing when my friend was going to the climbing wall. I don't miss alcohol at all, I had a couple of sips of champagne on my birthday and really didn't enjoy it. I don't really miss anything else as i've not really stopped doing anything, I've just got on as much as 'normal' as I can.

It's out 4D scan this evening and i'm really excited about seeing our little one again, especially in so much detail. I'm slightly worried that he'll be in an awkward position and we won't get proper pictures... they recommednd you have a fizzy drink and something sweet to eat before you go in..... will post some pics later.

Going to visit my Granny now, bye!

Rach x


----------



## Mable

Terri - we had no sibling sperm available either - it is a REAL shame, I would do anything for some more of Monty in a sibling. We did request sibling sperm but the donor stopped donating and is not persuadable to restart. Anyhow, our new man is gorgeous, I'm sure, a thoroughly modern, feminist man who has made significant contributions to society.    Hope you have good growth at Ju's scan today, not too many and not too few. Am just remembering that I already had 40 follies at this scan on my last attempt at stimming!

Rosy - we didn't put much effort into Monty's room either. They spend so little time in it, I think it's more useful as a store room.

Alison - I don't think E saw a midwife until well after the 12 week scan. I think that for women who don't have fertility tx and a 6 week scan, it is that scan that confirms the pregnancy and kicks off the referral. Not that the midwives do much, this early.

Have been palpating my stomach and think I can still feel my right ovary   Oh well, patience patience.
Mable


----------



## TerriWW

Mable - you had 40 follicles at this point? - I bet you felt like popping! Ju just called she has 7  8-10 mm follicles - dr v happy as still early. She will go back on wed and if they aren't growing enough he'll up the fsh. So all well so far - thank goodness - after all the hiccups we've had, it's nice things are going how they should for once. Wrt the donor sperm, we had one sample of Angus' donor sperm and stupidly (in retrospect) used it for julia's second iui and it didn't work - it actually still upsets me to think how we wasted it and that we should have just done ivf even that early to increase the chances - but what's done is done and it's silly really because we'll love the next baby just as much as angus - I think it would have just been nice as it would have made us all related at a genetic level.

Hope your right ovary settles down really soon so you can start stims again


----------



## PaulaB

Thanks everyone for the welcome. I am so glad i found you! Have big smile on my face now I know i am not alone. Will go back and read bit about you all. Have memory like a seive so will probably take a while to get up to date. Congratulations to all of you who are expecting babies. Off to pick up my little girl from nursery. Will be back later to drive you all mad with questions! Thanks again for making me feel so welcome.xxxxx


----------



## pem

Hi everyone!!

*Gina* - [fly]    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!![/fly]

Hope you and DP are having a fabdoodle day despite this weather . Can't believe your freind could benchpress you, that definitely makes exercise more interesting, maybe we could all practice that, you guys with little un's could all do baby bench pressing!!! I just love mountains, the High Carnedds (right next door to Tryfan) are my absolute favourite, can't beat a long day out in the hills, with just DP, my daysac and a caramel shortcake to keep me company. I think I have spent some of the best days of my life in the mountains, one way or another. We live about 45 mins from the peak district, so we can be found there most weekends on bike or in boots!! We trekked through the himalaya up to Everest Base Camp last year and while it was sooo hard with the altitude sickness and the sheer magnitude of the climbing, it was amazing, so spiritual and the himalya are truly spectacular, can't wait till one day we can take our kids there!!
Next time we get a BFP, I want a midwife who wants to be a lesbian...its not fair (stamps feet!!) Bet her husband was well chuffed with that news!!! On a serious note though, Im glad you've got her to deal with all of the hospital stuff for you, hope they don't have to interfere with your pregnancy any more than is necessary.

*Sharyn* That does sound like good news, keep taking it easy and rest up...thinking of you and sending lots of    in your direction. Keeep on postin, i am sure we can all support you through the waiting game!!

*Mable* - Goddamn that right ovary..I am now sending it positive downregging vibes. I was mistaken about AF arriving, so while i am not at all in your situation, I too am waiting for something that feels like it will never arrive. I never thought I would actually ever want AF to start, but right now i am forever wishing it to happen, just to feel 'normal' again. You are so right about choosing a donor, it is funny how you look through the details and think..hmmmm? I am so chuffed about our donor, he is a fantastic guy and really does have all the qualities we would want if were choosing from a list, we are really lucky in that respect.

*Alison* - Hows things?? My first midwide appointment was at 9 weeks and was pretty much as Gina described, she took all my details, gave me a Bounty pack and my notes and booked me in for a scan at 12 weeks. Unfortunately she didn't regale me with chat about how she wanted to be a lesbian, only Gina's midwide does that, so don't get too excited!!!Hope you haven't been nipping those nips too excessively. you will be needing them soon!!

*Terri* - Glad your scans are going well, you can have a at least 24 hrs off the major worrying and just settle into the minor worrying    .

*Rach* - Can't wait to see your 4D pictures, bet you are so excited, good excuse to eat sweeties too!!. Your nursery sounds like it is coming along lovely!!

*PaulaB* - Hi and Welcome, you do sound like you've had some journey!! You are definitely not alone!! Good luck with everything, tell if i am being V.Nosy, but what stage are you at now??

Well, what a enormous post!! I have had my usual weekend of exercise, albeit some of it in the rain!!! AF has not arrived yet (case of mistaken identity earlier in the week) Getting fed up with waiting,worry that something is wrong, can anybody offer any advice on this, it has been 4 1/2 weeks since BAD friday (the day of my ERPC)

Well, just after writing this AF arrived, so you do get what you wish for..worry over!!

Love,    ,  and  to all

Emma


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## Alison0702

Evening!

*Paula* Hello and welcome to the thread. You're definetely not alone on here. Everyone is lovely and will try and answer anything. Where in the country are you?

*Emma* - I am still tweaking every now and again, but not too hard    Hmm I bet my midwife doesnt come out of the closet for us either   Your description of trekking through the Himalayas sounds great. I would love to be that energetic, but I dont think I will change now 

*Mable * - Keeping fingers crossed that that bloody ovary has shrunk.        I can honestly say that since we got our BFP, I havnt missed anything yet. I really thought I would miss wine, but I dont want it at all. I find it strange going out for an indian and not being tiddly but I seem to enjoy the food more - and I dont end up with any down my top now  

    *HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GINA AND RAE*    

*Sharyn* Hope you are taking it easy!

*Rach* Oooh how was the scan? Cant wait to see pics. When are you two going to Brighton?

Hi to everyone else


----------



## PaulaB

Pem- Hi, I am awaiting hysteroscopy and blood tests to look for natural killer cells. Hyst due on 14th July. I have secondary infertility problem but have no idea what it is. Treatment just isnt working despite average responces and reasonable eggs. Changed to essex fertility clinic for the last ivf. Have just 5 viles of sibling sperm left so the clinic have advised that the hysteroscopy and bloods are worth doing in case they can find a reason for the failures. Of course i hope that they dont find anything wrong but its hard knowing why it isnt working. If all results are clear then ill try again with ivf in aug/sept. If there is a problem then i dont know what will happen. I hate all the waiting and uncertainty. feel as though i cant plan anything or make any decisions about the future. Have considered sperm defragmentation test but the doctor who does them in Harley street thinks it wont really give me any conclusive results and would be a waste of a vile of sperm. Have eaten my body weight in nuts because the accupuncturist said i should eat more protein. Frankly would do just about anything suggested to me at this point to increase my chances! Essex fertility centre give you three free councilling sessions after treatment fails and the councillor suggested trying FF. Not sure if that was just because she couldnt think of anything else to say to me! At this point i think i need some other lesbians to talk too as all my straight friends are either pregnant or planning to be and dont know anyone in treatment. Seems as though everyone else just thinks about it and they are pregnant. Its really hard for them to know what to say to me and i find it hard too as i feel i am a bit of a burden.I am very lucky to have a wonderful little girl who is so precious to us. She tells me regularly how much she would like to be a big sister. She came to clinic recently and said to the consultant "could you make sure you put in a boy please" Bless.  Anyway i think i am waffling now! 
Paulaxxxx


----------



## PaulaB

Alison- I live in east london. xx


----------



## lucky2010

*Alsion*, not going to Brighton till 18th Aug.... seems a long time away!

As you will see from the profile we're back from the 4D scan! It was pretty good, amazing to see our boy again (and, yes, he's definitely a boy!), I think as they display perfect, non-blurred pictures on the walls it's slightly disappointing to see our blurred offerings!!! It was amazing to see him kicking me and feel it at the same time. The sonographer did say that he's very big for 26 weeks, as is my bump. She said the midwife may want to send me for a growth scan if she feels I'm big too. I doubt this though, when i saw the midwife a couple of weeks ago she asked if I had any concerns, I said my only concern was that everyone kept telling me how large I am and she just said 'just ignore them'.... very helpful!

Going to mess about with my new pics now.

Hi to all

Rach x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Rach and Julie- He look so cute- you must be so proud.  Hope the pregnancy continues well
L xx


----------



## lucky2010

Thanks L,

We think he's cute too!!!

Rach x


----------



## pem

OOh Rach,

He is really cute, not long now till you see him for real!! I'm all excited for you and your Big Bump!!!

Emma


----------



## Alison0702

*Rach* that pic is fabulous. Was Julie as emotional as you thought?


----------



## lucky2010

*Alison*, as the sonographer talked about the 'Agenda for Change' with her the whole way through the scan it was hard for her to be too emotional but we both enjoyed it!

thanks for all the lovely comments about our pic. hope everyone is ok

Rach x


----------



## TerriWW

Rachel and Julie

Great picture - so exciting!


----------



## Alison0702

Morning..

Can anyone help me. I have just jumped out of bed as I felt something "coming out". I went straight to the loo and wiped and there was a light brown discharge on the toilet roll. 

Now I am completely worrying and dont know what to think. Should I be ringing the hospital etc. Can anyone tell me if they have had this and what I should do.


----------



## TerriWW

Alison

A friend of mine had something similar at 6/7 weeks pregnant and apparently it does happen to some people - and the dr said it was the placenta 'implanting' into the uterus lining. They were the words used. I think it is the placenta establishing itself basically and it happens about this stage. I know it really scared my friend but she was fine and has a 2.5 year old little girl now.

Also with it being brown - it sounds like old blood which has worked it's way out and that would fit with the above explanation. I'd still maybe speak to the dr or a midwife to reassure yourself  - but I'm thinking this is what it might be.

The worries never end with this process do they?!! Try and take it easy and get your feet up  

Terri


----------



## pem

alison, 

I doa fair bit of lurking round this site and a lot of women get brown blood during early pregnancy and have a perfectly healthy pregnancy, there is a thread dedicated to it. Please don't worry too much, go and see your GP and get your self referred to the EPU if you are really panicky. But I am sure it will be completely OK. Rest up. look after youself..

thinking about you,  Terri is right..the worrying does never end !!

Emma


----------



## Mable

Alison,
Sorry to hear this - no knowledge of this so can't help. Just thought that you could go to the EPU of your local hospital and request a scan due to having some bleeding. Might put your mind at rest.

Good luck and let us know how you are - 
Mable


----------



## lucky2010

*Alison*, I had exactly this for 2 days at 7/8 weeks. i called my GP, didn't even need to go in as explained to receptionist, GP called me back and had referred me to the EPU for an early scan. It really put my mind at rest as we saw our baby's heartbeat and the discharge stopped after that. They said to me that it was probably just placental implantation and a lot of women get it..... don't worry but I'd phone the GP as it will put your mind at rest.

Let us know and good luck,

Rach xxx


----------



## evelet

I agree with everyone else Alison! A lot of ppl seem to get brown discharge at this stage but a friendly GP will refer you for an early scan. If possible don't tell them you have a scan at the clinic because then they might not refer you!

Its is utterly agonising waiting for this first scan. Each day has felt like a week! We have to wait until next Friday......

Hope it stops anyway Alison

Hi to everyone else - Mable - when will you know if you have finally de-egged yourself?

Eve x


----------



## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Alison*, I can back up everything everyone has said - I had it too. For me it happened several times between about 6 and 9 weeks, only for a day or so each time and I was reassured it was completely normal. It won't hurt to get yourself an early scan at the local EPU though - your GP should be able to arrange this, or try contacting them directly.

*Rach*, fab pic.  He's a real cutie. The nursery sounds lovely too. We're not having one as the baby will be in with us initially anyway and by the time s/he is ready for their own room we don't plan to be living here any more so there's no point. We'e just moved a chest of drawers into the back bedroom to store all the baby clothes in and will continue to use that room to store everything in until we move. Not nearly as romantic as a full blown nursery.

*Emma*, our lovely midwife covers Stoke I think - anywhere within an hours plus a bit from Birmingham, and she's based on the North side, so you could have a lesbian aspiring midwife if you wanted one. 

*Paula* - welcome to the list.  It sounds as though you've been on quite a journey. This is definitely a good place to be for support as you continue on through it.

*Terri*, Ju's follies sound fab. You probably couldn't get a much better scan result at this stage.  Good luck to you both!

*Mable*, what do I miss? I miss being able to walk further than the end of the road without being in pain and being able to get up from the sofa without it feeling like a military operation. I liked my pre-pregnancy feet better than my pregnancy ones and I do miss a nice glass of wine every now and again. I didn't realise what a luxury it was to be able to sleep a whole night through until I lost the ability thanks to pregnancy bladder, but I'm also sure that I won't be sleeping through the night for a long time even after the birth, and with Monty you might well not be doing now, but I do miss that. Sending big follie-reduction vibes to your ovary.

*Evelet*, I remember the waiting well. It's horrendous, but you will get there.

We went back for our next scan today and our baby's kidneys are still enlarged so we're back again in another 4 weeks. We got another pic too and I like it as it shows the baby's body in profile with it legs all tucked up but I'm going to keep the profile image I have now as it's a better face pic. It was amazing to see how much s/he has grown in just 4 weeks, not really even fitting on the screen any more. And I'm definitely carrying a big baby - measuring over 25 weeks instead of 24. If we were to go by the date of conception I'd actually only be 23+5 today so this one really is a bruiser. His/her head is already 25cm in circumference. I'm now going to pray to go into labour at 37 weeks as pushing this one out is going to be fun otherwise!

I have to admit I also saw what was, to me, very obvious evidence of our baby's gender - the sonographer even paused the image while the relevant bits were on display. We didn't ask for confirmation though, and Rae didn't notice it - I'm much more used to seeing ultrasound images thanks to this site so it was all crystal clear to my eyes and grey fuzz to hers. We're not going to tell anyone what we think it is though in case I'm wrong. I'm not sure whether I'm pleased or disappointed to know in advance, but hey. We'll still only know for sure at the birth.

And thanks for the anniversary wishes folks. We didn't do a work out in the end, just a repeat of the meal we had the night we got together and lots of reminiscing. Yesterday we went shopping together which is something we rarely do. We got all confused about child car seats and will have to go back, but we did buy ourselves a digital radio as a joint anniversary present. 

Sending best wishes all round,

Gina. x


----------



## Alison0702

Thanks for your replies....it's turned red now. Wouldnt say heavy (yet) but it's bright red. Called the hospital and they have moved my scan forward to tomorrow at 2pm. 


I'm lying on the sofa scared to move. Just want tomorrows scan over now. 


xxx


----------



## evelet

Alison - I have been lurknig on the 'waiting for first scan' thread in the trimesters section of the board and therea are one or two women there who have had days of bright red blood and brown aswell (on and off in one cases and continuous for a few days in another case) and both pregnancies have stuck so far. So please don't worry too much -wait for your scan (and let us know what happens of course)

Much love,

Eve


----------



## Alison0702

I have just been trawling through all the "bleeding" pages on this site and found that lots of people have had red bleeding and nothing sinister happened. I read somewhere that it's more common with twins aswell. I've just been to the loo again and there was not much on the sanitary pad, but a bit was there when I had a wee. Then when I wiped there was a fair amount red blood on the loo roll. 

I am a bit more positive and reassured after reading about the other women and just hoping and praying everything ok tomorrow. My head is pounding with the crying I've done today. I feel exhausted and totally helpless. I'm not going in to work tomorrow and going to take it really easy until we have to leave for the hospital. I'm just so pleased that I havnt got to wait till Friday  

Thanks for your lovely messages..xx


----------



## PaulaB

Alison- Thiking of you. Hope all is well tomorrow.XXXXPaulaB


----------



## lucky2010

Thinking of you, let us know asap x x x x


----------



## candygirl

Thinking of you Alison - let us know what happens tomorrow...

Candy x


----------



## starfish3

Ouch - both Alison and I in a spin now... my bleeding has stopped a couple of daya ago, felt a bit off food yesterday but nauseated as such (extra salive in mouth though at thoughts of foot). beta has still risen but not doubled in last 3 days... scan tomorrow..expecting the worse again). Totally helpless... nothing I can do so just gotta deal head on with it, if MC, move forward as soon as possible...easier said than done..hang wee bean please!!!!

Good luck Alison (replied to your donor bumps and beyond message earlier before I saw you are having your scan tomorrow too. Fingers crossed for you )and me) babe.    

Mable - good luck for your scan, hope those follies are shrinking big time!

Best wishes to everyone else, mind spinning too much for many personals. Sorry!!!

Ciao
Sharyn In New Zealand


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## Alison0702

Morning ladies! 

Little update from me. When I went to bed last night, it looked like the bleeding had stopped. Woke up this morning, and nothing, apart from a little old browny red blood on the toilet roll. So roll on 2pm today - I will update you as soon as I can. 

As usual, thanks for your support - you made a horrible situation that little bit more bearable. 

*Sharyn* I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that everything is good at your scan today.


----------



## TerriWW

*Alison and Sharyn* - I've got everything crossed for you

Gina - your mention of your feet made me laugh. My feet looked like Frodo's feet for the last 2 months of pregnancy! Then a few days after the birth my old feet just reappeared one morning! And as for the lack of sleep - once the baby arrives you'll not remember it! It's like the birth - it seems like a day out at a spa after a couple of months of sleepless nights  

Ju had another scan yesterday. The follicles are growning - she has 5 on each side. The biggest are 12-13mm so she's back for a scan tomorrow just to keep and eye on everything and egg collection will be early next week ... I'm starting to feel excited but also daren't after all the setbacks we've had with ju...

Terri


----------



## Alison0702

*Terri* Fingers crossed for big follies for Ju      You cant help feeling excited - it's such a fab time. Apart from egg collection, I hated that part of it


----------



## TerriWW

Yeah - egg collection sounds a bit scary. Was i bad? Ju isn't as worried about that as she is about the fact that we are doing gestone (progesterone) injections to prolong the luteal phase. They are intra muscular and the dr said - 'they hurt'! We have to do them every day for 17 days - I say 'we' as I'm doing them ...


----------



## pem

Thinking of you Alison     , Let us all know ..xx


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## Alison0702

Ooh they dont sound very nice. Ow!  I had a lot of pain after my EC but that was mainly dut to the fact that they couldnt find my right ovary so had pierce through my abdomen wall to get to it . I couldnt walk/eat/sleep for about 4 days afterwards, but that is not normal, so wouldnt worry about that side of things.

*Emma* Thank you hunny  I feel fine this morning, with no bleeding so hopefully it hasnt harmed my little one  Hope you are ok. 

I cannot believe it but I'm sitting watching big brother live, and have actually posted on the thread for BB on this site. You can tell I'm trying to waste as much time as possible till I have to go in the shower  They reckon someone is walking out this morning.  Actually, who cares


----------



## snagglepat

Oh *Alison*, I'm so glad the bleeding has eased off. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you for the scan later today.

*Sharyn*, keeping everything crossed for you too. Slight nauseated feelings have got to be a positive sign. 

*Terri*, Ju's follies really do sound good. Please do keep us posted - and good luck with the jabs. They don't sound pleasant, but worth it in the long run.

I'm off to get my baby kick now. My last client gave birth on Saturday (beautifully, at home, in water) and I'm doing 2-3 days a week postnatal support with them for the next few months. Their baby is gorgeous. I keep holding her thinking 'we're going to be meeting our version of you soon'. 

Best wishes to all,

Gina. x


----------



## Alison0702

[fly]     *OH MY GOODNESS IT'S TWINS*    [/fly]

Hiya Everyone

Well, as you can see from the message above, everything was more than ok at the scan. 
I must admit, I was feeling a lot more hopeful after the bleeding stopped although when we arrived at the hospital we were both really nervous. We had to wait for 40 minutes too to go in, so that made it worse. Evenutally went in, she moved the scanner around my tummy and then said to give her a few moments. Well I started to feel a bit worse thinking she couldnt find anything..then she said "Well, there's 2 babies and 2 heartbeats". We both just burst into tears, it was the best day of my life I can tell you. So she had a good look around, and we saw them and their little heartbeats  One measured 15.4mm and the other 15.6mm so they are a nice size. 
My face is hurting from smiling...soo soo happy.

I'm going to try and figure out how to get the scan photo as my avatar, so you can see them 

*Sharyn* how did today go?    

Love and hugs to you all...


----------



## pem

Ooh Alison, I've been waiting for this post all afternoon. I am so absolutely over the moon, thrilled, chuffed and totally excited for you...two little beans!!!!     Well Done you!!!

[fly]* WOOHOO ALISONS HAVING TWINS!!! *[/fly]

Lots of Love

Emma x


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## snagglepat

*Alison*, I have tears running down my cheeks I'm *so* happy for you. I just ran into the kitchen to tell Rae your news and Rae says to Juliet: 'From one technophobe to another, bl**dy well done!' Wow. Our collective psychic vibes were spot on then. Yey! You must be so, so excited!

Even Digger is excitedly pacing the room on your behalf. 

Sending massive hugs to all of you,

Gina. x


----------



## Alison0702

Ah *Gina* thank yoo...Want to give you and your lovely woman a big hug   We are so excited..today was just wonderful.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Alison - I'm so pleased for you that not only is everything ok but twinnies!!!!!  Take care of yourself  
L xx


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## PaulaB

Alison- Have been thinking of you all day. Congratulations! What a wonderful surprise. Take care.xxxPaulaB


----------



## Mable

Oh my God - twins! You wonderful thing!! What an amazing surprise! I bet you are on   - so glad everythings ok in there and you are reassured. So very pleased for you both.               

I have news - am finally shutdown and stimming again! On a tiny dose of menopur (alternating 75mg and 150mg) so am now worried I won't produce anything but it just feels great to get going again! Honestly, I was beaming as though she'd told me she'd seen a heartbeat yesterday! Is all feeling much more positive now, what with new donor man on board too.

Alison, can't wait to tell S your news!! She goes all funny about twins - she wants me to produce them, no pressure there or anything (she's even chosen their names).
Great news alison
Mable xxxx


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## Alison0702

*Mable* that is great news about the stimms. I was worried that you would get so sick you'd pack it all in. Isnt twins great! I love it, it's the best thing ever!  Ha ha cant believe S has picked out your names..you've got a lot of pressure now   Hey I really hope this cycle works for you, cant wait to be cheering you on, on your 2WW. Oh, and yes, we're on 

*Paula* Thanks so much. It was a surprise. Hope you're ok.

*Lou* Cheers for my messages...whats happening with you at the mo?


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## starfish3

Hi All

Too scared to read the messages earlier - so worried for Alison and then I log on to find she's having twins. Congradulations!!!!!!!!  

Just to add to the good news - although I have had a bit more minor bleeding  since I posted yesterday, my scan today also shows happy baby 6w6d (bang on), only 8mm but one heartbeat!!!!! I was in a right state yesterday but this morning resigned to accepting MC if that was what the scan showed and have had to take a few hours for the result to sink in. Still terrified but I am gonna put that aside for today. I have seen my little jellybean and s/he is happy at the moment. Small haemorrage visible where placenta is growing into uterus but not directly affecting baby. Phew!!!!!       

Alsion - I know how you feel. Lucky only 1 baby for me, but then again only 1 went in!!!

All is well is lesbian incubation land at the mo. Long may it last. I hope Alsion will sleep as well as I will tonight - if I can sleep it all this time from excitement instead of dread. Poo for me - no pictures availabe for 7 week scans, suck. Bit the image is etched in my brain...never has there been a more beautiful embryo!!! LOL

Mable - progress at last. You go girl!!! If we learn one hting through infertility it must be patience and you deserve my patience award for this year. Fanatastic. 

Thanks for being there at the crunch
Big smiles
Sharyn In New Zealand


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## evelet

I think Sharyn is right about patience - look how long you've been trying Alison and now you are having twins! I bet you are SO excited! Ros and I were squealing about it and saying "oh my god TWINS wow!" so much that even Jude started saying "oh wow" too  

I can't wait for our scan now - I am pretty sure (and hoping) that its only one baby. Although I would have LOVED to have had twins first time I really don't think we could handle Jude and twin babies. He is utterly exhausting on his own (not complaining though of course). At the moment thoughI'm just worrying all the usual things about there being something wrong at the scan. We have decided to be positive tho and have planned to go to London for the weekend (and maybe go and visit Tamsin too) straight after the scan. This early bit of pregnancy takes soooooo long. Ros is going for her first blood test today then she will be registered with the local team of midwives.


Mable: AT LAST! well done - i'm sure you;ll stim nicely on that dose. let us know how it goes.


----------



## pem

Hi all!!

Well, this board is full of good news!!!

Congratulations again Alison!!!

Sharyn, fantabulous news about the jellybean!!! You can relax a little now!!

WooHoo - Mable is stimming!!!! Sharyn is right you do deserve the patience award for 2007..heres hoping it's all well from here on in!! Will be here to cheer you on gfor the 2WW!! Twins here you come!!

Paula - You do sound like you've been through a rough ride, How lovely that your little one asks for a little boy to be 'put in'!! Kids say the best things don't they?? I am sure you'll get loads of support on here. The ladies in here have really been here for me since i started on FF ( Thanks Ladies, you are brilliant!!), given me loads of support and helped me through the tough times!! I am sure I will be needing more of that soon!

Evelet - Ooh, it might be twins, Alison could be starting a trend!!

Gina - I'm really hoping to be needing a midwife ASAP, lesbian or not, I just want to need one...!! Glad you had a lovely anniversary!! Baby sounds big...!! Bet you'll do brilliantly when it comes to it!!

Terri - lots of     for you and DP!!

Well, I watched Make a me a baby on TV last night and cried...why did i watch it I am a Muppet...strangely drawn to TV that I know wil make me behave like a mardy!! Don't think i will be cycling with Mable this month as ovulation is predicted to fall the day before we arrive back from holiday, so unless our donor makes a quick flight to Ireland, sadly little eggy wil be going to waste this month!! It'd probably for the best as it may be too soon. Just glad really that AF is back to normal and following her usual patterns. will be keeping on eye on the ewcm still and dipping those sticks!! 

Love to everyone, 

Emma


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## Alison0702

*Sharyn* that is such good news. Bet you are so relieved after all that worrying. They saw some blood on my scan too and said it was nothing to wory about. Phew! Take it easy..enjoy the rest while you can 

*Emma* I am exactly the same with baby programmes. It got to the point where Ju banned me from watching them cos I'd be an emotional wreck..but then as soon as she left the house, I'd put the channel straight back on again...such a rebel  Not long till your hols nd your anniversary. Where does the time go!!!! Your next cycle will be here before you know it and of course we will be cheering you on every step of the way! 

*Eve and Ros*    The scan is the worst part so far I think. Much worse than testing day! But I am sure it will all be fine. I can imagine you worrying about twins and a young one to look after. Now that would be challenging. Thank Jude for wowing for us  

*Gina* How are you today? My midwife is calling me back today to sort out the first visit. Don't think she will be a lesbian wannabe, but I might try and sell her the benefits to her  

 to everyone else.

My mam is on her way to see me (or to see the scan picture more like). She is bringing some M&S goodies too  I'll leave the ironing basket out for viewing too...you never know


----------



## Mable

I was wondering about us all changing the name of this thread - what do people think? The 'lesbians' part isn't accurate or inclusive, would LGBT be better? How about something like TTC, bumps and babies tagged onto LGBT - or is this too complicated? 

Now that I have some oestrogen in my body, I can think of more than 1 thing at once. 

Good to hear your news Sharyn - take care of yourself, keep resting.

How are you adapting to the notion of twins, Alison? Bet your mind is racing, planning equipment. I think there is a thread on here somewhere for people expecting twins - might get some tips.

Eve - when's your scan - this next wait seems to have dragged on for weeks? Good luck for it, and for a lack of twins!

Am sure my stomach has started to swell up but E says I'm inventing it - anyway, I have a scan next on Monday to see how things are going in there. Sorry we won't be cycle buddies in practice Emma, but we'll be cycle buddies in spirit, how about that?

Happy London Pride to anyone who's going.
Mable


----------



## candygirl

Congratulations about the twins Alison!  Fingers crossed for an uneventful rest of the pregnancy!

And congratulations on your scan Sharyn!  Such a lot of good news on the thread at the moment.

I'm now nearly 31 weeks, which seems unbelievable to me.  The baby is fine, and still moving all the time.  The only bad thing is that I've now officially got Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, and I've been signed off work for the next 2 weeks.  It's not that likely that I'll be able to go back to work after that, but I asked the GP to only do a 2 week certificate, just in case 2 weeks of rest allows me to get back to work for a bit.  My maternity leave is due to start at 37 weeks, but I think I'll be really bored if I have to sit at home from now until the baby is born.  Mind you, as long as the baby is healthy I'm sure I can cope with anything...

Candy x


----------



## candygirl

Oh, and Mable - good luck with the stimming this time 

 

As for the name of the thread, I would leave it as it is, if only because then it comes up when you search for "lesbian" which is what I did when I found it - and it's been a lifeline for me.

Candy x


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## Alison0702

*Candy* its really good to see you back on here. Have you heard from Lucy lately? I had an email off her before her CP but nothing since. Cannot believe you are 31 weeks already, still doesnt seem that long ago you got your BFP 

*Mable* I agree with Candy about the name of the thread. Even though "lesbian" isnt strictly accurate for some people, it is for a lot, and it's an easy thread to find. Thats my thought anyhoo.


----------



## snagglepat

Hi all,

*Candy*, it's lovely to hear from you. I'm really sorry to hear you've got SPD. Please do take it easy and don't put yourself under pressure to go back to work if you're not really well enough. I have a good friend who had SPD and pushed it as far as she could during her pregnancy. She was on crutches for 6 months after the birth and that obviously had a massive impact on how easy it was for her to care for her baby. On a more positive note, those baby movements are fab aren't they? 

I also just wanted to give my 2p worth on the thread name as I have quite a strong opinion on it. I'm definitely up for a change. When I first joined the thread I felt a bit funny about it as I'm not lesbian, and the word lesbian is used to generalise so much, particularly when it comes to the world of TTC that it's really easy for those of us that identify in other ways to feel as though our identities aren't recognised or acknowledged, even though we may be just as welcome as anyone else in reality. I felt I needed to clarify that I identified as bi and ask for welcome to the thread before I could post freely here. I know this wasn't a problem and everyone was fab and wonderfully welcoming, but the name did put me off initially.

I can only speak from my perspective as a bisexual person, but because I'm in a relationship with a women I am always assumed to be lesbian and no-one thinks it's a problem. This is the case for bi people all the time - people assume they're either gay or straight depending on the gender of their partner and it just makes us feel invisible, as though our identities are unimportant. That little 'B' in a name might not feel like much to many, but it means an awful lot to those of us that it includes and welcomes by its presence. I'd guess that 'G' and 'T' people might have similar feelings, but I wouldn't presume to speak on their behalfs.

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


----------



## Mable

Just to add on the thread name discussion

- we could keep the word lesbian if it helps with search engines and so on, and add bisexual, gay, transgendered too?

- adding bumps, babies etc would reflect the fact that this thread is not just about TTC anymore but about the pregnancy, birth, baby, trying for sibling(s) and the way all this is in the context of our LGBT-ness.  I'm thinking about people not needing to ask permission to stay on this thread when they do get pregnant, not feeling that it is out of place to discuss trying for a sibling alongside people who are trying for their first. 

I remember a while back asking one of the moderators about how we could flag up this thread technically, as I'd noticed that there were women posting around the site who hadn't found our thread and wanted to. There must be teckie ways of doing this search engine wise. I could try and find out if the consensus is to change - let's get a few more views.

What do you all think?


----------



## PaulaB

Hi everyone,
I was one of those people searcing for the right place to post. I was guided here by some kind ladies who read my messages. Would like to leave Lesbian in title somewhere or ill never find thread again! But agree that it should represent all who use it and feel at home here. PaulaBxx


----------



## evelet

although i am of course secretly hoping the name-of-thread discussion will turn into a 70s style mammoth lesbian (or bisexual or transgender of course) processing session i don't think it will do us any good to on thinking/talking about it too long so i'll put my twopennorth in now and then graciously withdraw...

This is a fertility/infertility messageboard so almost wherever you post (apart from the bumps/babies threads) it feels a bit weird to be going on about pregnancy or child rearing woes. I think that's why ppl ask permission if they can continue to post here once they do get pg. However the actual title of the thread is 'lesbians using donor sperm'. it doesn't specify that we must all be still ttc. i love the idea of it being bumps/babies/beyond too but won't we end up with a huge unwieldy title? And then there is the bi/trans issue. I am not bisexual or trans so don't want to speak for any bi  or trans ppl out there but everybody here has found the thread. Could we not just consider that 'lesbian' acts as a kind of shorthand or a signpost? I don't know what is for the best really (although i do think we need to keep the whole word 'lesbian' in the title). Maybe it would be better if we had a separate bumps/babies/beyond thread? A " Lesbians with bumps and babies" thread? 

One more thought - maybe Gina and any other bi women who post on here will be able to give their perspective on this: If a bisexual woman was in a relationship with a man and ttc-ing would they post here? Or would they not just post in the main areas of the site? 

On a completely different subject (sorry this post is mammoth) - Ros has turned into an eating machine. Yesterday she ate about 72 separate meals. And she ate a tomato in between each one to tide her over. No no no she isn't craving tomatoes at all! of course not! This morning we went to order some curtains and she had to retire to sit in the car half way through. The only thing that stopped her feeling sick was chewits sweets. Is it normal to have cravings at 7 wks ? It seems a bit early to me. I'm now vacillating between worrying that the scan on Friday is going to show no baby at all or that its twins. Roll on Friday...


----------



## Alison0702

*Eve* I def think it's normal to have cravings. even at this stage. At the moment mine are
a) fish b) maynards wine gums c) maynards sours d) anything vinegary I am also eating 72 meals a day, only with an apple in between   Really tired today and have felt quite sickly Yay!

It is getting very obvious that I am pregnant now, and every day I think "thats the last time I'll be wearing that!" Ah who cares. I have started using stretch mark cream already, as my bazookas are growing and so is my belly.

Hope you've all had a great weekend.
xx


----------



## starfish3

Hi All

Eve/Ros - how frustrating, you were the first to have BFP amongst us 3 and last to get your scan... at least you didnt have the stress of bleeding.... Dunno about cravings - busting for hokey pokey ice cream at week 5, now wouldnt wanna touch it, tehn it was baked potatoes with cheese and chillibeans, also now rejected...no particular yearnings right now... I agree most noticeable thing now is hunger!!!!!  Not sure if that is pregnancy or all those hormones I am taking. Don't have MS in terms of nausea but do have tummy ache kinds pain on and off, maybe that's what I'll have? Probably famous last words and the nausea will kick in with avengence soon... oh well - bring it on!

Guess I better have my wee say about the thread name..... kinda mixed feelings ... nice to have a lesbian space but happy to include bisexual women in relationships with woman but dont see much relevance of this space to bi women in r/ship with man and ttc but wouldn't wish to totally exclude them either, transgendered again similar but that all sounds rather pc because there won't be many transgendered people ttc will there? (May be I am naive? Recognise they may want to have children of course).

Would be happy for list to cover from infertility, tcc, treatment , pregnancy and beyond.. there are not many of us and we should stick together on FF, good to have experience of others who have already been through where ever someone else is up to.

But let's not go for a longwinded, all encompassing title... we must all be using donor sperm huh (whether known or annyomous donor) so I dont think we need to say that but maybe we need to change our place in the FF layout to be more visible and easier to find, not in the donor egg/sperm thread

Have a great day
Sharyn In New Zealand


----------



## TerriWW

Crikey!!!!!!!!!

I only come onto this thread when I'm at work (monday, wed and thurs) ... and look what I miss!

*Alison * - Oh my god!  Fantastic! I can't imagine how happy you are feeling now - congratulations

*Sharyn * - so pleased you saw the heartbeat and all is well 

*Mable * - at last - hurray you're on stims. Hope it all goes well this time

*pem * - thanks for the good wishes. 

*evelet * - your post made me laugh. I think Jude is a similar age to Angus (he was two on saturday) and I thought the same as you - oh my god how would we cope with him and twins. He's exhausting on his own! So although twins would be better than nothing, we're definitely hoping for one!

Julia had a scan friday morning which showed 4x 16mm follicles 4x 14mm and 2x 12 mm and some smaller ones. The dr said he was expecting 8 to 10 eggs. We did the trigger last night and egg retrieval is 9am tomorrow. They have pencilled us in for blastocyst transfer at 1.30pm next monday but obviously that depends on how they grow and we may have embryo transfer earlier ... here we go - it's going to be a mad week!

Terri


----------



## pem

Hi all!!

Glad everyone is well and happy, cheers me up no end!!!

Re - the Name thing - please please please don't have a seperate board for bumps and babies etc. I don't know how others still trying feel, but I love hearing about everybody's pregnancy bits and bobs!!! Nobody need ask for permission from me to post about their lovely bumps and babies!! We are quite a small group and I think we should stick together!! Maybe I am just being selfish...don't wanna lose my buddies!!!! RE the naming of the thread!! I was also directed here by someone who caught me posting on another thread, think it was JJ1 actually!! I agree with Paula, does need lesbian leaving in the title for us all fools who are incapable of finding things   but would be better if it were more inclusive. However, i don't have any ideas for short catchy titles ... sorry   

Anyway, only a quick post, don't want to interrupt all you pregnant ladies from your mammoth eating sessions!!!    

Oh and Alison, try Bio-Oil, I had stretch marks from being a bit porky when younger ( i know, i know!!) brilliant stuff and it smells yummy too!!

Onwards and Upwards!!!

Emma


----------



## evelet

I do like the name Angus btw Terri... (hint to Ros there is it obvious enough?!)
I hope Julia's ET and transfer goes well.

@ Sharyn - actually Alison's was the first BFP of the 3 of us. And she's having TWINS. Am seriously hoping that we are not going to copy her in that as well as in teh BFP. Although of course twins ARE double the fun as well as double the trouble (well that's what everyone says anyway)

I am very very on edge about Ros's scan and with no real good reason. She is def having the pregnancy symptoms as far a nausea, constant eating and other things. so dunno what i'm worrying about. 

Anyway we are in LONDON AT THE WEEKEND! Anyone fancy meeting for lunch or something on the Saturday?? We would love to meet up with everyone again and are happy to offer sunny (not) Scunny as a venue or could even possibly rustle up a London venue. Equally we'd happily go to Newcastle. Come on let's organise!


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## Alison0702

*Terri* - Hope tomorrows egg collection goes smoothly and they get lots of nice eggs.  Lots of rest for young Ju after that!

*Eve* You sound like a right worrier. Is that work piling up again  I'd love another meet, and we should arrange something.

*Emma* I completely agree-the thread needs have lesbian in the title, and it also needs to be here in the donor sperm area, which is what we are all using after all. Anyway, stop interupting my scoffing...mmm in my element when I realised that my local shop sells pickled onion monster munch. Ate them on the way home, to find my friend here with a bag of sour jellies. Am I spoilt or what!  Oh someones mentioned bio oil - is it good for scars aswell, as I have one on my lip from where my loving cat got me with her back claws. 

Nothing to report from this end, apart from the fact that I am not going to be able to hide this belly for much longer. It is so obvious why it's growing, and people are not stupid...  Midwife coming tomorrow so I am excited about that. Eek. I am so excited about everything that I want to run around naked screaming. 

Hi to everyone else...*oh is anyone going to Manchester pride?*


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## Mable

I have the vivid image of Alison naked, with twin bump starting to show, running around the house naked!

Scan today, have *24* follies already, 14 on the right ovary and 10 on the left, about 4 follies measuring 12mm. I'm to continue on the alternating 75/150mg until another scan on Friday. My clinic don't do coasting, they say more often than not the eggs die when left to coast without FSH. So I told them about Alison coasting and now pregnant with twins! They seemed pleased that I'm not yet in the OHSS threshold, although I've got 4 doses to go until the next scan and last time my follies doubled from 40 to 80+ within this space of time. Can't say I'm feeling very optimistic again about my chances of getting to EC without overstimulating. Anyway, enough worrying, I'm trying to trust them....  

Alison, when I had 80 follies, my 2 ovaries were the size of 2 12 week old babies - I had a big tum and was wearing S's old pregnancy tops - time for you to go shopping already!

Good luck to Terri and Julia for tomorrow's EC!!
Mable


----------



## duff

Hello!

A quick one from me - 

ALISON - I'm going to set up a ducking stool for this witch I live with!  Honestly, she's been saying it would be twins since before you even tested.  I'm so thrilled for you.  If you come down to London, I'll introduce you to my pals with three year old twins so you can see how fantastic it is  

ROS/EVE - we'd love to meet for lunch on Saturday if you're around. Fancy a look around Borough market if the weather's nice? 

MABLE - ovaries the size of two 12 week old babies?  I can't get my head around it still.  What's that in fruit?  Would they have been like oranges?  

re: the name thing.  What about "Lesbians etc using donor sperm" or is that silly?  That way anyone can include themselves in the etc if they like.


----------



## evelet

@Duff - I think you might have got it. Maybe we should consider dropping the 'using donor sperm' part too? I mean we obviously ARE all using donor sperm (unless anyone is using some sort of magical dna splicing technique secretly). So how about 'Lesbians etc TTC, bumps and beyond'? What does everyone think?

after having rashly suggested meeting up I now realise that i have to go and see my sisters exhibit in the New Designers exhibition in Islington on Sat morning so not sure how that will impact on meeting up. Would def like to sort something out though. I will have to liaise with my sisters cos they'd kill me if i blew them off even if it was for FF... Borough Mkt sounds fun though. I can't believe I lived in London nearly my whole life and never went. 

I am proud to have survived another whole day of the 'run up to scan week'. I am not good at coping with the waiting. I wonder how othere non-bio mums feel about that. The whole ttc (esp. IVF) procedure was absolute agony for both ros and i (worse for ros of course) but i sometimes wonder whether its me being extra Jewish-ly anxious or something. It doesn't help being really tired from Jude's shenanigans. Tonight I really tried to get him to go to bed at a reasonable time but he resembled a particularly awake Tigger more than a tired toddler so I gave up.

@Mabel: I do think you are absolutely right to trust your clinic. You have to follow their protocol. However, have you thought of showing them some evidence re: coasting? An awful lot of ppl i've seen posting on here seem to have been allowed to coast and have had BFPs.


----------



## starfish3

Terri and Julia - best of luck for EC tomorrow... thinking of you both.   

Hi toeveryone else, sorry in a rush tonight, no time for others personals


Ciao
Sharyn in NZ


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## RachandSue

Hello Ladies,

Oh my I am sooo sorry we haven't been around for sooo long! What with the wedding, our holiday, pc issues, family issues and trying desperatley to work and get our home organised for the arrival it's been a mad life!

We have missed so much! Alison darling I am so please for you and TWINS how amazing!

We have found out we are having a little girl, which is great but not so great when it comes to names! So far we have Megan, Melissa or Ellen (Megan is my fave) What do you all think?

I am not going to even attempt to try and catch up with everything, so I am just going to stick around now and try and pick things up as I go.

Love to you all

Rach & Sue
xxxx


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## Mable

I just *knew* Duff would come up with a great solution to the name thing!

I risk putting Evelet through a _slightly_ longer processing sesh, but just wanted to check with others about the bumps/babies part. There has been some preference expressed for moving those pregnant or with child to a separate 'lesbian etc focused' thread to discuss these specific issues. Is it is important for those TTC to be able to express the ups and downs of TTC in a pregnancy/baby/child free environment? I know that Emma has said not, but others may have a preference?

Rach and Sue - oooh, I love the name choice part. Can't believe that Monty was almost AUBREY!!!


----------



## LouisandPhoebe

Hi everyone

We would welcome a second thread too.  I always feel really bad posting on this thread because we are so lucky to have our little bundles and i remember all the emotions i went through when we were trying to conceive. 

We both read everyones posts but feel that there are some questions and things to share that would be more appropriate on  at thread with other people trying for siblings or facing issues as the children grow up.

But with two threads it means people still have the option to post on the one that is relevent to their situation.

Rach and Sue fantastic news there is as severe lack of Gaybe girls being born!

It took us ages(5 weeks after her birth) to name our little bundle.  She was Ruby then as our last name is Bury- Peters it felt like slang for a curry.  We loved Hallie but again not with the Bury bit.  I wanted Sophie and Lee wanted Phoebe or Georgie and in the end we went with Phoebe Georgiana Niamh.  Its abit long but gives her choices if she does not like her first name.  I still call her pickle though and Louis calls her Foube ( cross between Ruby and Phoebe)

I love Audrey too and Megan.  

Congratulations Alison on your fantastic news.  We have 3 embies left and are working out if we put back 2 or 1 next time.  I would love twins but lee is the practical one and says we would need a new car and with my driving skills a people carrier would be off limits!!!


I hope everyones scans go ok

Lots of love

Charley, Lee, Louis and Phoebe
xxxx


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## evelet

oh dear you have had a bit of trouble with names haven't you! Phoebe is a nice name though - you chose a good one there.

I've gone off the idea of two threads. Mable - i think we need more processing!


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## lucky2010

I have been reading on my mobile but can't post from there.

Wow *Alison*... twins. Huge congratulations to you and Juliette, I'm so happy for you x xx 
*
Starfish*, glad your scan went well, it's so reassuring to see the hb isn't it?

*Eve and Ros*, it's seemed like a long wait for your scan even for me!!!! Looking forward to hearing all about it!

*Mable*, Hope the stimming is going ok and there are no new signs of OHSS. As for the thread, i sometimes feel bad posting about my pg when others are going through such anguish ttc.... don't know the answer though!

*Rach and Sue*, have missed you!! I love Megan, Edie, Evie and Julie loves Martha which I wasn't too keen on. I was so convinced we were having a boy that i told her if it was a girl she could be called Martha!!!! Glad all is going well, It's speeding by isn't it?! Keep us updated!!

*Gina*, Hope you're feeling ok and not struggling too much with back/ ankles.

As for us... Our nursery is mostly ready, I spent yesterday erecting a wardrobe with hundreds of drawers and shelves in which is the most exciting as I have been able to fold up little clothes and put them in!!!! Our real nappy sample arrived and we have decided to go with the ones we thought (very cute!). Things are starting to feel more real now!!!

On a less positive note, my SPD is agony (nothing of course to do with the fact i built a wardrobe yest and cleaned carpet all weekend!). I am just no good at taking it easy, I can't sit still and even if it hurts like hell I'll hobble around to get things done. Think I'm going to have to take it easy now otherwise I'll just end up on crutches for the next 2 months.

Hi to everyone I have missed

Love Rach xxxx


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## snagglepat

Hi folks,

I am just loving the mental image of a naked Alison leaping around with a cute little baby twinnie bump.  I'm feeling huge already so I can't imagine how massive twins will feel as things progress. I'm still really excited for you both *Alison*. 

As for the thread name thing, I'm afraid I'd really like to see a reference to 'B' at least. I know this doesn't seem a big thing to those of you it doesn't directly relate to but it does mean a lot to me. Even if it's not the word 'B' but something wider than just 'lesbian'.

Would it be too much to ask for a new thread entirely? Like on the main page? Maybe something like 'LGBT & alternative families'. Or 'Lesbian and other alternative TTC'. That would mean we'd be open to gay male (or other) couples using surrogacy, and co-parenting families, as well as those of us who are using donor sperm. I know we have none of these at the moment but then would any of them choose to post on a thread entitled 'lesbians using donor sperm'? We could then have a main chat thread, and then all kinds of others as they became needed, like a 'choosing a donor' thread, a 'pregnancy issues' thread, a 'parenting' thread, an 'overseas' thread and anything else we fancied, all within one happy little rainbow area. It wouldn't matter if one of us with children wanted to follow and post on the 'choosing a donor' thread as they'd probably have something really relevant to add to it as well. This would definitely make it easier longer term from a search perspective as at the moment if someone searches for something like 'second parent adoption' it comes up as part of our discussion in the middle of a massive thread that talks about many other things too, whereas if we had a 'legal issues' thread it would be in an easier to find (hopefully) and more relevant space. One of us may need to volunteer to moderate it I guess, but it might be worth asking about as we are growing and I'm sure we will continue to do so.

The other name thing is a different issue! We have a list of about 25 potential names at the moment. We both have a definite boy name favourite (the same one, fortunately) but are a long way from settling on a girl name. We might just have to wait until the podlet is born and then see what seems to fit from our list - which will no doubt be even longer by then.

*Mable*, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you stim at a very gentle and none-OHSS like level. Sending you a mountain of well wishes.

*Rach and Sue*, lovely to hear from you guys. All your names are beautiful - not that helpful a comment I must admit. 

*RachJulie*, really sorry to hear about your SPD. I think I overdid it cleaning on the weekend too and when I got into bed on Sunday night I suddenly realised that something had gone and I couldn't move. Rae had to manually roll me over so that I could get into a different position. Oh the fun of it! Do take it easy though. SPD can be a real killer. It's good news for the birth though as everything opens up much more easily. 

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


----------



## Mable

That's a great idea Gina - it would improve our visibility and accessibility, be more inclusive (I'm sure gay men and other co-parents wouldn't feel comfy posting here) and allow for lots of different spin offs.


----------



## Alison0702

Mable, I've just read your post about the name thing, and was quite taken by surprise about what some people have said.

"There has been some preference expressed for moving those pregnant or with child to a separate 'lesbian etc focused' thread to discuss these specific issues" 

I personally would not like this at all. Most of us have been posting here for a long long time and I for one have valued the support that everyone has given me over the last year or so. I want to continue giving the same support to anyone else ttc, and find it a shame that some people feel that pregnant people discussing their issues is not appropriate on this thread. 

We've nearly all had a crap time ttc and just because I am not going through that anymore, doesn't mean that I cant offer advice etc to those that are. 

Anyway, I've probably TOTALLY taken that far too seriously, and if I have, I'm sorry,    but I really feel like we are a little rainbow family, and I dont want to lose that!


----------



## rosypie

eek! I don't think anyone was suggesting that those with bumps or babies could no longer post advice/support relating to ttc on the ttc thread. Some ppl have said that they feel uncomfortable posting on here about pregnancy and/or child rearing issues as do I. Having 2 threads wouldn't stop me reading or posting on both threads and keeping up with the ppl I have come to know. It would just allow me to keep the Jude/pregancy moaning away from ppl who were still ttc and if they wanted to read the bumps and babies thread they still could. We'd just need to make sure the threads were under the same 'umbrella' right? Then everyone could keep up.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Just lost a long post to you all...it is so irritating!!!

Anyway I wanted to wish you all well and I had wondered where Rach and Sue had disappeared.

I do think that you should have a name on the thread that you are all happy with, and that it also is easy for the new people to find you all as you are a great bunch!

Some of the other threads like the London Girls have split to LG (for those with babes and bumps) and LG TTC and it appears that this wasn't a unanimous decision, as some women with babies were apologising for popping into say hello to their TTC friends. They also have some separate meet ups, and sometimes have a joint meet or ask permission for someone to come along and say that 'she is 12 weeks and so bump not too obvious etc' which seems odd when they had spent years/months on the same thread before sharing the ups and downs, and are a smallish group as well. Also where would the women with m/c's post, at a time when they needed support? I personally find the photos of the children inspiring and you do have some cuties on here!!.... and I do hope that the threads recent good luck is contagious! 










Update from me: Waiting for AF to arrive in the next few days and then hopefully all is well to start the short protocol. I have found my donor an IVF acupuncturist near him, and he went today and was delighted that the man said that he was working too hard, and should rest more at home as his energy was being diverted from his sperm and used up elsewhere. He then went home and to bed for the afternoon and told his partner, who was staying with me, that he wouldn't be able to do any household chores until after my EC, and booked himself in for a few more acu sessions as he likes this man's style!! His partner did question that he did any housework though.

Take and good luck to you all.

L xx


----------



## blueytoo

Haven't been on here for ages for the reasons I posted about before I kind of "left" the thread but would like to put my point across about the thread title.

Personally I don't think the thread title should change to include other groups. Bi women who are in a r/ship with men do not face the issues that lesbians do when TTC, their issues are covered on all other multiple threads/forums here and elsewhere. Surely if you are a bi woman in a r/ship with another woman (whether that other woman is bi or lesbian) you're in a lesbian r'ship and hence have the same issues TTC as lesbians in r'ship with lesbians so why does that need clarifying? They'd need donor sperm to conceive in the same way.

Similarly if you're a MTF transgendered person in a r'ship with a women then that is surely a lesbian r'ship and again the TTC issues are the same. If you were a FTM transgendered well then this would be totally the wrong thread and area for you.

With the exception of a couple of US boards this is the only place that is busy enough for lesbians to come and talk about TTC and get responses and reassurance etc. That should be protected. 

I do very much feel that there is a need for a seperate thread for those of us that are lesbians and are actually infertile rather than those just doing home insems and DIUI with no "medical" need. I know now that there are several women who use this thread that have been upset by some of the postings of those with no medical need for IVF/DIUI etc. 

I know it's probably very hard for some people to hear, but having IVF is a very,very,very different ballgame to home insems and IUI done without a medical need. 

I know some posters here probably don't feel I should post here as I have a 9 year old son and to them I'd say, when you're infertile and you love children, the desperate need, want and maternal drive for another child is no different to the drive that makes you want your first child. My son was a miracle conception and my infertile state is a constant distress to both me and him - he is so desperate for a sibling and I've spent the last 8 years listening to him asking for one, crying when my tx's fail and coping  with his utter devastation when I miscarried his "sister" last year.


----------



## PaulaB

Hi Everyone,
As a relatively new person to FF and to the Lesbian thread, I have found some of the recent postings quite upsetting. As i do have a DD and no known medical cause for my secondary infertility and am a lesbian i think i would have to start a thread all to myself to fit comfortably in. Which of course would defeat the object of seeking support. I was made to feel very welcome when i joined and love to hear the success stories, appreciate the journey of those trying for a first child and value the experiences of those trying for second or third. Hope this can all be resolved soon as its made me feel very uneasy. PaulaB xxx


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## evelet

oh WOW now we are seriously cooking up a lesbian (or bi or trans ) STORM here.....

I think Gina's idea is a very good one. If we could have a rainbow ttc/families area that would be very good as it could include long threads (like this one) and shorter one off posts. I think we need to careful about who we say 'needs' this thread in terms of their bisexuality or their ftm or mtf transexuality. I don't know about anyone else but I also post in other areas of FF sometimes and a lot of support can be gained for very specific issues.

So - who wants to approach the powers that be here about us having our own subsection? I'm happy to help moderate or do anything that needs doing (as is Ros) but equally am also happy to leave it to someone else. We haven't really posted here for that long so expect there's someone who really knows everyone who might be better placed.

A lot of you probably know this already but there are other boards out there e.g. where rainbow parenting is in discussion there is the 'Rainbow Families' board on gingerbeer (http://boards.gingerbeer.co.uk/index.php?board=15.0) as well as the MSN group 'Lesbian Insemination Support' (http://groups.msn.com/LesbianInseminationSupport/_whatsnew.msnw). They are both definitely worth looking at although neither are as good as this one in terms of long term continuing posting. There is also another board that Tamsin told me about called Rainbow Conceptions or something like that. I'm sure if you PM her she'll give you details.


----------



## evelet

on a totally diff subject:

Is anyone going to Manchester Pride? or any of the other not-London Prides? Maybe we should arrange a mass meet up at one of them... Anyone with any info/ideas?


----------



## TerriWW

Hello everyone

Just a quick update....

Ju had egg collection yesterday ... they got 5 eggs. There were 10 follicles so this is perhaps a slightly disappointing number but we aren't disappointed as before it was done there was always the possiblility there could have been 0! It does mean however that we won't be doing blastocyst transfer - they like you to have 8 embryos to risk letting them go that far - so as long as some fertilise and grow, it's embryo transfer on friday for us  The clinic are calling this morning so will let you know.

For those of you who have had IVF or who know a bit more than me. How does 5 eggs sound? Or is it a case of one person might have 20 and 5 fertilise and one might have 5 and they all fertilise?

I've been reading all these comments about changing the thread name or starting a second one etc .. have to say I'm really surprised how strongly people think and also that someone could think they weren't able to post on this thread. I don't know about the rest of you but if I felt I wanted to post on any thread on this site I would! If there was a thread only for blue people with purple dots but they were having an interesting chat then I'd join in! 

Anyway - I can kind of see why some people might want a second thread for disussing child issues but it seems to me when I read the thread that there is a core group of you who have just become friends and want to talk about everything together. However, you also openly welcome anyone new and try to be supportive and I would have thought that anyone (of any type or orientation) would see that and just join in. Or is the issue that you *want * more people to join the thread so want to change the name to actively encourage that?

Terri


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## TerriWW

.. me again..

The lab just called. 3 have fertilised and apparently they look good. I kind of feel very pleased but also slightly disappointed that from 10 follicles we have 3 fertilised eggs. Is that a bit silly? I suppose I should just be glad we have the 3 and that so far they look good. It just doesn't give us much room for error as it were - we need two to keep growning well.... roll on tomorrow....


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## PaulaB

Terriwww- Good luck for tomorrow. As they only put two back two good ones will be enough. Its a nervous time but keep positive.


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## evelet

we had four eggs, all four fertilised, 2 embryos were implanted and Ros is now nearly 8 weeks pg. We've got two embryos on ice for next time. They didn't think the 2 left were goign to develop enough for freezing but they did. So, don't worry too much - best of luck.


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## TerriWW

Thanks for letting me know that *evelet * - that's really reassuring. Wow all 4 were good. It gives me hope we'll have some for transfer on friday.

*PaulaB * - thanks for the encouraging message


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## Mable

Hi,
Oh good luck *Terri * for your embies and ET - can't offer any advice about numbers, in my view it sounds great just to have 10 follies and not have the risk of dying from OHSS hanging over you, but I understand the worry that there aren't many. _It only takes 1_ springs to mind, just to give you hope over this anxious time. We are all thinking of you and you are our next recipient of the follie dances! 

I am ok , swelling up and sore inside, not quite in E's pregnancy tops but almost, 2 more jabs to go before my next scan and assessment to see if I can go ahead. Feel like I did when I overresponded, swollen, can feel my follies in there, no severe pain but feel periody. If my follies have doubled to 40 say, it's going to be a difficult decision whether to go ahead and risk OHSS.

*Re our thread*, thanks for all the views so far. It's great there is such strength of feeling about what we have and shaping it for the future. I have emailed Marielou our moderator, she has been following our discussions and she will let us know whether any of our ideas would be possible.

I know we haven't decided what to do with the thread yet, and it is hard to think that some people haven't felt comfortable posting in what we all try to make as friendly, sensitive, supportive a place as possible. I do think that we have managed so well so far to try to include everyone and mix our situations and our discussions now are about us trying to make things even more inclusive, a more accurate reflection of who we are and about making protected spaces for people on the TTC struggle, or the sleepless nights struggle, where the 2 really don't mix very well.

To summarize:
*The name*: people want the word lesbian kept in our name, and people support the adding of GBT/alternative families, this type of thing into the name, as long as it isn't too long and we can find it.

*Threads:* we are divided about having 2 separate threads for those TTC and those with bumps, babies and beyond. Some people want to keep it all mixed together so that they can be inspired/motivated by other people's pregnancy/baby news if they are TTC and those pregnant/with baby can support those TTC. Others who are TTC find it difficult to read about other people's BFPs and pregnancy/baby news when they are struggling to TTC themselves and don't know if they will ever get pregnant. Other people who are pregnant/with baby find it difficult to post about their new issues/difficulties for fear of being insensitive to those TTC/desperate for the very situation they are now complaining about.

Gina has suggested having a whole new thread on the main board with a broad inclusive title with diverse mini threads to encompass all our 'issues'. Such a thing happens on Gingerbeer very successfully. We could have a main TTC thread where we could all post when TTC, or to give support to those TTC, a bumps/babies/beyond type place where we could discuss/moan about pregnancy, sleep deprivation and loads of other issues with a LGBT focus, a legal section for our particular issues and so on. We'd all be together still and not loose our rainbow family as Alison fears - we certainly don't want to split up and loose the very valuable support and friendship that we have at the moment.


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## lucky2010

I think you've summarised very well there Mable. I like the idea of a whole new thread on the main board with sub-sections.

I have had a traumatic day so far. I went to work this morning and was walking in from the car park at 7.15am. I had to go down a grassy, muddy slope and as i got to the bottom I slipped and my feet flew from underneath me, i hit my head (luckily only on the grass) and landed flat on my back with a kerb in the middle of my back. I have cut my elbows and was covered in mud. The first thing I thought was .... 'is the baby ok?' he responded by adrenaline induced kicking for about 30 mins to reassure me. I ended up going into work to clean up and had to take handover for a patient while in total shock. I then phoned the mw who insisted I either go to delivery suite triage to be assessed or to a&e. I decided as i was sure our boy was ok to go to a&e who saw me very quickly. Apparently I have whiplash from falling and have been sent home from work to have the rest of the week off. The dr told me it will get worse and I can of course only have paracetamol   I am now unable to move my neck much at all and feel like I've been trampled on by elephants.... as if my spd wasn't sore enough!!!! Sorry for the ME post, fed up   At least our boy is ok though  

Love Rach on the sofa x


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## TerriWW

*Mable * - thanks for your good luck wishes - and yes I know we must seem so ungrateful to be worrying about having 'just' 3 embryos when you're struggling not to overstimulate. I hope it doesn't seem insensitive - but you know what it's like - everytime you get over one hurdle you worry about the next. If we get to ET we'll worry if ju is pregnant - if she get's pregnant - we'll worry it'll stick!  I hope you all goes well for you at your scan.

*Rach * - hope you feel better soon - but glad the baby is fine


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## lucky2010

*Terri*, good luck for ET  x


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## Mable

Terri, no I don't think you're ungrateful at all. It's no good having too few, just as it's no good having too many. It's hard to get the 'right' amount - but as others have shown, you can get a BFP from just a few. I could also get a BFP from my loads so I shouldn't be so doom and gloom about OHSS - it's only OHSS. Good luck to you.


----------



## Fifebloke

Hi

I'm a donor - not an L, B, G or T.  I read this thread because sometimes I can help with information and sometimes I read something on here that might be useful to the women I help.

I must admit I am quite dismayed that a very small vocal minority has brought up the subject of the thread name and started all the PC stuff about how Trangendered people and the rest deserve recognition too.

This thread came about because some lesbian/bi members had problems that were unique to them with regards to bias at clinics and advice on AI that they felt awkward about bringing up in the general "het" threads.  I know because I was here when it started.  So having your own thread was perfectly understandable.  But the reason you're all here is because you want to have babies and have a number of difficulties that this forum can help you cope with.  You are women first and foremost and it would be a shame if rather than let that define you, you turned this into a sexuality issue.

There are plenty of sites that cater for all aspects of sexuality and support.  Let's not forget why all of you (and the non-lesbians) joined this forum in the first place - to become mummies and to get and give support with that goal.  By being a thread within this forum, you are part of the trying to be mums community here. To talk of requesting your own forum is simply asking for a gay ghetto and sending out the message that LGBT mummies don't want to talk to het mummies.  I'm sure that is not the intention but that's how it may pan out.

I see non-gay members contribute to your thread now and again and I know that some of you often contribute to the other threads here.  Don't you think that's a good thing, to just be women and not exclude yourself because of who you happen to choose to be with?

I fully expect to get shot down by a few but I couldn't sit and watch something good be broken for the sake of correctness.  If you agree with what I'm saying, please say so and put a stop to all this before it just happens.

Very best wishes

David


----------



## Alison0702

Before anyone kicks David's head in    I agree with most of what he has said. 

Like he said, we've all started posting on this site because we want to be mummies, and this site and all of the people on it, have been crucial to me getting through the last year or so.  I did chuckle with Davids definition of a gay ghetto, but perhaps he is right. We have people who arent gay keeping up with our stories and posting when we have good/bad news, and I dont want to make them feel like they cant do this if we turn this thread into anythin other than what it is now. 
I dont feel that there are enough of us posting at the moment to split us up into sub-groups. I'm posting on the 1st trimester thread at the mo, and mainly post on this thread because I do feel like we are friends and I want to keep up with everyones news (about ttc/falling over and getting whiplash or having whiffy wee)  

As for the name change, it should reflect the issues we have as a group, rather than trying to define precisely who makes up that group. Like i've said before, I am happy with the name of the thread.

Lets not change something good man (said in my best geordie accent)  That is all I am saying on the subject cos I'm boring myself now


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## magsandemma

Hi all,

Havent been on here for a while as STILL no internet at home   , and been off work sick for a week so couldnt even sneak on at work, like now,  .   I was just trying to catch up with how everyone is doing at the mo and lots happening on the thread, so have just had a scan thro, as work mad as usual!!!  

Terri   - Good Luck for tomorrow, hoping you will have two lovely embies tucked up in, take it easy, and dont let the 2ww drive you too mad!!

Mable   -   Sorry to hear you are feeling very swollen again, hoping that youre next scan shows that all ok and you can go ahead, stay positive   

Rachjulie   -   Bless you hun, sounds like you have had a tough time, at least as you say tho baby is ok, you just need to rest up and look after yourself and I hope that the neck stiffness and pain eases soon, enjoy youre time on the sofa, with daytime crap telly,   

Gina   -   Hi there, hows you doing?   Hows the bump doign, must be getting big now? Hope all is well.

To everyone else hope you are all doing well, we are ok, just back at work today after having 1wk off as had some pain last monday, which they thought may have been a cyst on my left ovary, but true to form, the little bugger had gone awol when they scanned me on tuesday, but was so pleased when the radiographer had a quick look at baby for me to check all was ok, was good to see lots of movement.   Also have had lots of movement over the weekend which is a lovely feeling, didnt think I would feel proper kicks this early, but definately very fiesty at the mo,     emma was even able to feel a few yesturday, nice to know bumps getting stronger, we have next scan on 31st, and we see consultant on 24th.   Anyway we are moving house this weekend also, so lots happening, however should be ok, as getting a removal company to move us, as cant do any lifting between us,  .   
Enough waffling, best get back to work, stop this bleep from going mad, hope everyone is doing well!!

Speak soon
Maggie
xx

PS saw somewhere you guys were talking about a meet up, would be fab to get to meet you all!!


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## Alison0702

*Rach * What a day you've had  Bet you're getting stiffer by the minute. At least the little one is ok, but you get lots of rest and let Julie look after you 

*Terri & Ju* - Good luck or ET        The worrying never stops..believe me!

*Mable* I really really hope you can get to EC this time. Wishing you nice sensible follies..and wishing that horrible pain doesnt get too bad  

*Gina* Where are yoo? 

*Eve* Only 2 more sleeps till the scan. I am thinking of booking a private scan, as I dont want to wait 3 weeks for another one. 

Hi to everyone else 

I woke up this morning to more beeding. Not that much, and I didnt freak out last Wednesday - I hate Wednesdays! Anyway it stopped quite quickly so again, just a case of relaxing a bit more. Yay!


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## lucky2010

I agree with most of what david has said too, thanks for posting *David*!

Nice to hear from you *Maggie*, I had movement very early too, it's lovely isn't it?!

*Alison*, you're like me being impatient with scans!!! I'm so excited that you're having twins. When can you tell if they are identical or not?

I feel like I've been trampled on by a herd of elephants now and can't get comfy anywhere. Fed up 

Rach x


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## PaulaB

Hi everyone,
Rach - you poor thing. Hope the pain doesnt get too bad. I feel sure lots of chocolate would help!
Just wanted to add that i feel as David, Alison and Rach. Hope this will all get sorted soon. 
I am hoping to start Divf later this month if AF turns up. Its true that it never arrives when you need it to. Will get my blood results over the next couple of weeks. Then the rollercoaster ride can start again. Its my sixth and probably final try at ivf (unless i win the lottery of course).
Do the AF dances really work?
PaulaB xxxx


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## lucky2010

*Paula*, I'll do one for you just incase they do work!!!!           (that's all I can manage due to sore neck!!). I'll go and see if chocolate helps right now!!

Rach x


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## Damelottie

*RACH!!!!!!*. OMG - try and stay on your feet for gawds sake hun!!!  

OUCH OUCH - hope you feel better soon. I've been meaning to pop on to say how much I love your scan photo. I love the scan and bump piccies  .

Which reminds me - come on Alison - get your massive bump out!!

Love to all

Emma xx


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## evelet

@ David - i do see your point. I think things are a bit easier for most lesbians with clinics etc now (although my sister's girlfriend is having an awful time trying to get the LWC to give her donor sperm as they keep telling her its reserved for IVF 'couples' and won't specify if she and my sister are counted as a 'couple' or not.) Sadly there is no really excellent/warm/friendly rainbow families place to post messages. None so warm and friendly as this one. So I can understand why ppl want to expand it slightly. A lesbian/bi/trans 'area' on the site would be no more or less inclusive than this thread tucked away in donor sperm is. And after all, there is an 'over 40s' area. I can't quite see why a lbgt area would be any more ghetto-ising than one for the over 40s. 

However, I would hate to lose this thread completely (although I think that is very unlikely especially while Alison is on the case ) and I agree that this site is predominantly a fertility issues website.

Maybe if the powers that be don't want to give us an 'area' we should be looking at starting/moving over to another website as well as continuing to post on this thread?  MSN groups are pretty easy to set up I think.


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## Tonia2

Hi guys,
I've been following the thread more closely over the last few days - as some of you may remember I used to post regularly but stopped around April this year. Since then I've been lurking occasionally and following everyones progress, but not able to bring myself to join in anymore. ...But having just caught up on all the recent hullaballo I felt I ought to tiptoe onto here and carefully stick my neck out a little  and give you my perspective.        I 'm a little  to do so, but hey.... 

Firstly, though, I wanted to echo what Mable said and say how the strength of feeling expressed on here lately only reflects how important this network of people is to all of us.   I guess it's a compliment to all of you/ us who have ever contributed to the board, that such a strong community of people even exists. I think it's a fantastic thing.   

Also, I think it's a hugely wonderful thing that others who aren't or don't define themselves as 'lesbian' are welcome and free to contribute. I love hearing from the likes of Emma and JJ1 from the singles board, and David, and others, and personally would welcome anyone who felt that they wanted to contribute- male, female, transgender, however we define ourselves and whatever type of relationship we're in. All of us have experienced enough discrimination to know better than to try and put others in boxes, I think...  
So, I'm all for a new forum like Gina suggested, and some kind of broad title that tries to encompass everyone. I know it's really important to some to have their identity acknowledged and we should respect that, I think. I don't think that it would turn into a 'gay ghetto' - we all contribute to other boards and are happy for others to do so with us, it would just make things easier to find, and I guess it appeals to my sense of order, somewhat!!    There have been times I've wanted to go back and find previous conversations we've had about what to do about the babies' surname, what to put on the birth certificate under 'father' or how others have coped with comments from others about why and how we're having children in a same-sex couple -and haven't been able to find them.  It would be great if there were a couple of threads that were started when people had questions like this. We'd all be the same people contributing, it would just be organisied a bit better. 

Anyway, I wanted to say that the main reason I stopped posting was primarily because of all the bfp's this year -that in themselves are delightful and wonderful - but I really felt on the outer because I was in such a vastly different place and so deeply devastated with my recent events. Bfp's are wonderfully distracting - and rightly so. Of course we should celebrate them. It's what we all want and achieving that is an incredible joy. At the same time it is extremely hard for those of us who are continuing to struggle and don't know if we will ever concieve or carry to full term, when we repeatedly get swept aside by the tide of positivity and excitement. 
I stopped joining in because I wasn't coping with all the pregnancy talk, was having such a hard time emotionally and felt a certain lack of support (except for a couple of individuals that I've kept in contact with via PM etc).  I know that's my own issue and I am well aware of the limitations of this kind of support network, so have spent alot of time examining my own expectations, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of loss about it all.  So it was just easier to stop posting while I tried to look after myself. Which was a bit sad because I really love this thread, it's been my most significant support over the last 2 years and I have continued to be really interested in what is going on for everyone else. I think of you all alot, everyday. 

I suspect the difference now is that when I started posting on here nearly two years ago there was only one or two people pregnant (Edith had only just concieved Monty then!   ) and maybe 10 or 12 of us ttc. So the focus of the thread was much more ttc, because obviously that's where the majority were. In the last 6 or 8 months that majority has shifted, which is fantastic odds for all of us; but it means the focus of the conversation also moves, as it should.

What I do know is that there are at least 4 of us feeling the same way - ie.  have stopped posting for these same reasons I have, and I am in regular contact with a couple of them. None of us bother to post anymore; and that's just the ones that I've been in contact with. I suspect there's heaps more lurking out there feeling the same way.  I'd been thinking for the last few months that it would be really good idea to have a separate ttc board and a separate bumps/babies board. I do think there would easily be enough people to keep both going; everyone would lurk on both boards anyway, as we all do-  but at least we'd all have that choice whether to or not. When Mable started this thread it was a bit slow to take off and she was worried no one would join, but as we know, from little things, big things grow!   I also tend to think it's actually better if the thread is on the smaller side. It's so hard to keep up with everyone as it is,  and we all want to remember who's doing what & not neglect anyone, so it makes sense to have a smaller base group to start with, I reckon. So many people have left in the time I've been here, for whatever reason and quite a few have slipped away without anyone noticing. Which I think is a bit sad/ unfortunate, anyway. 

The other couple of reasons I've thought this over the last few months is because 1) the donor bumps/babies thread is really full and I've noticed people tend to get lost and stop posting on there as well, I guess, because there are so many people  and perhaps because some of the other mums have been on there so long and know each other so well already; and 2) as I mentioned above - there's lots of specific issues around parenting and bringing up a child in a same-sex family, and on a separate LBGT bumps/babies thread these issues could be discussed more fully -  and discussions of this nature would be easier to find for people joining later. I know that when I was pregnant last year I did feel really aware of those still ttc around me and I recall having a conversation with Heather, I think, about how good it would be to have a separate bumps/babies/parenting thread. I agree with Charlie /Louismummy ( I had noticed you weren't posting much!)-it would be much easier to moan more freely about morning sickness without having to think twice about it, and ask all those pesky little niggly things that bother you everyday when you're in the early stages of pregnancy.  

The other reason I wanted to speak up was I was one of those who had PM'ed Mable with my opinion about wanting a separate thread, and she expressed that on here - I didn't think it was fair she took the rap for that!!    Mable -you're doing a fantastic job at getting your head around all our mad opinions, especially given where you're at right now.... thank you.    

I've run out of time and have to get off to an appointment, so haven't checked this post as obsessively as I'd like, so... please know that I don't mean to offend or upset anyone;   . 
I know I haven't said a few congratulations and welcomes and personals that are due, as well - hopefully I'll pop in a bit more often in the coming months..!  

Love and very best wishes to you all,
Tonia

PS Starfish -I must say hello - I'm a kiwi too, but living in Aussie for 10 years now. We intend to get back there one day as we miss it so!! xx


----------



## candygirl

I agree with a lot of what David and Alison have said, at the same time I can see that it must be very hard for those who are not yet pregnant to see so many people posting about pregnancy symptoms.

I'm sensing that there could be a compromise here - rather than having a whole new section of the board, could we not just have two threads in the Donor sperm/eggs section - 

"Lesbians, Bi, etc TTC"

"Lesbians, Bi, etc bumps and babies"

(Obviously not necessarily with that exact wording, but it seems to me that the largest consensus came from those wanting the word Lesbian to stay in the title)

Candy x

p.s. Just to add, although I am now pregnant, when I wasn't at the end of last year, I did find it very difficult to post on the thread as I needed a fair amount of drugs etc to conceive and felt that I couldn't identify with the lucky people on the thread who were just using fresh sperm.  It didn't stop me reading the thread though, and although I don't post very often, it has been a huge source of support for me.


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## TerriWW

HI everyone

Just wanted to say I think a lot of what David said made sense. I most definitely don't define who I am by my sexualitity. It is just a part of who I am and dont like to be included or exluded on the basis of it. On the other hand, it is good, in any part of life, to be able to talk to people in similar circumstances to you so you can share and help each other and relate to each other. I really like this thread - but I am quite happy to be talking to heterosexual people on it as much as gay people.

I did however think that CandyGirl had it covered. Wouldn't just doing exactly what she said - even down to the wording cover everyone's needs?

I know I'm quite new to this thread - but just thought I'd put my two peneth in...

Ju is calling the lab at 11am this morning to see how our little embryos are doing... if all is well it's ET at 130pm tomorrow... don't think I can stand the wait...I hope they're growing ok.


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## evelet

@ Tonia -  i think you have stated your case very articulately. Are you a lawyer too?   

I can see that in the end someone is going to have to make a decision (I suspect its going to be you Mable but hey - it was your thread to begin with!!) but it looks like a lbgt donors/babies/beyond thread would be very welcome.  

TerriWW - After having gone through a total of 5 IUIs with Ros (the second one was successful and produced Jude) the stress of IVF came as a terrible shock to me. I could not believe how horrendous it was waiting to see how many follies she'd produced (and she was a 'poor responder') and then waiting to see how many they colllected (as i said before - only 4) then waiting to see which ones fertilised and then if they developed properly. Then after all of that there is the usual terrible 2ww. It just goes on adn on and on. (And that's not even considering Mable's situation of downregging for infinity and beyond). You seem to be coping with it really well and I just want to say a proper Good Luck. We'll send you as much positive energy as we can so let us know when embryo transfer is going to take place.


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## Alison0702

*Rach* I am extremely impatient but must start to control myself.  How are you feeling today?

*Emma & Lottie* I am too shy to get my bump out    Hows things with your not so new man? 

*Mable* - Following on from Tonia's post, nobody made you take the rap for anything, so don't think that!


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## lucky2010

*Tonia*, Good to see you around again and Eve is right, a very articulate post. I'm still sad you don't post anymore as I miss hearing your antics and I feel very sad if I contributed in anyway to your not feeling supported on the thread, especially as I am one of the people who got a first time BFP with fresh donor sperm. I will never be able to express in words how lucky I feel to be in this situation but I know this doesn't take the pain away from those who are struggling with the whole treatment process.

*Eve*, Tonia isn't a lawyer..... just another highly intelligent nurse!!!!

*Alison*, Julie has taken the mick out of me throughout this whole pregnancy about my impatience to see our boy again. We've seen him a total of 4 times officially and a couple of times illicitly using the scanner at work! I almost got to see him again yesterday but as I was so sure his movements were OK they didn't scan me. He has continues to move 'normally' if not a bit more so I'm not worried about him. How am I feeling??.... sore and stiff as a bloody board!!!!

I have my first antenatal class today which I'm a bit nervous about. Julie is coming home from work early to come with me which is nice as I didn't think she'd be able to come 

*Candy*, It's good to see you post too and I think you may have a solution. 31 weeks already.... nearly there!!!

*Mable*, hope you're not feeling too bloated today and that your ovaries are behaving. Good luck.

Rach xx


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## TerriWW

..Well we've 2 at 2 cells and 1 at 5 cells! The lab lady said they all looked good ...phew... looking ok for transfer tomorrow as long as they keep going 

*evelet * - I agree the waiting for this is very different to the 2ww with IUIs - every step you feel so near and yet so far from what you want ..

Hope everyone else is doing well


----------



## pem

Hi all!!

Just a quick post to say Hi, This board has been a bit difficult for a few days. I'm with David and Alison. not into the whole PC thingy, not informed enough about it, just get on with my life. I guess what will happen will happen and we will have to get used to it!!  I go on holiday today to Ireland, so hopefully i will be able to find my way round the boards when i get back..   . 

Just wanted to say hope I haven't upset anyone with my lack of fertility problems and i am truly sorry if i have and to reiterate that i am never upset or offended by pregnant people!!

Good luck to those trying and love to everyone else...I'm going on my holi's!!!!

      

Emma


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## TerriWW

Emma

Have a great holiday


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## Damelottie

TONIA!!!!

We have become psychickly connected   . I was going to 'e' mail TODAY to say get your bum on the boards about the new names thingy .

Alison. You are depriving me of a bump. Bad!! I don't suppose he is NM anymore really is he? He's in his 'cave' this week - how bloody dull these men can be   

Love and best wishes to all

Emma x


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## bagpuss1

Hi guys,

I have been reading and now feel that I can post how I feel about the name thing as I have been mulling it over since the matter was raised. 

I am with David, Alison and Pem. I am not into the PC thing really, I love Helen like I have loved no-one before and that is all I really know, it doesnt need a name.

I was at the beginning of my fourth IUI when I first found you guys over two years ago and I can quite easily state that this thread was my life saver and sanity provider. I know that I do not post on here very often anymore and partly it is because I have been so lucky to have concieved, my current issues are about parenting and I can get support from other threads where that is concerned. As I said, my fertility treatment was a very lonely place until I found you guys and it took me so long to get here that I dont want it to become even harder for people in my situation to find support in the future. 

I am not sure about changing the name, there will always be someone who feels left out because they were not included in the title, always someone who feels that they should not post because of the same reason. We are constantly evolving as a society and types of relationships will also. One solution could be to offer an explanation stating that we are not excluding anyone just because of our name and that if there are topics being discussed that are of interest, then to go ahead and post.

I dont know, I have just kind of waffled, probably a load of BS but thats what just comes out when a type!

Best wishes to everyone,
Kerry and Edie xx

PS: Congrats to all of you preggers ones that I have not said it too before. To all who are resting from the board (shall we set up our own thread?) Only joking tee hee!


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## lucky2010

Thanks for posting Bagpuss. Edie is my fave girls name. Hope you're well x

First antenatal class was like something out of a Victoria Wood Sketch.... a total joke. Oh well, I'm sure I'll pick up something relevant from one of the classes!!!

Rach x


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## Fifebloke

Nuffink to do wiv me guv    LOL  but Candygirl's excellent solution seems to satisfy most of the requirements and still keeps you together.

Will butt out now.  Thanks for not hanging me!!!

Best wishes

David


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## Edith

david, sorry you dont get off that lightly .....

"I'm a donor - not an L, B, G or T. I must admit I am quite dismayed that a very small vocal minority has brought up the subject of the thread name and started all the PC stuff about how Trangendered people and the rest deserve recognition too."

David, please dont feel _dismayed_ by people expressing their opinions: it is called a democracy. Please also don't feel responsible for a thread that is essentially for LGBT people as you said yourself,you don't fall into that group.Your positive contributions I would consider interesting, your previous 2 posts I find patronising.

On a lighter note, to everyone else, Hi and hope you are all doing well. I am hopeless with personals but am so thrilled to hear of ALisons great news and Ros too. I cried! It truly is amazing. RE; the thread and recent discussions. I know I dont post much and hope you don't mind me contributing now. I clearly feel quite strongly about it. DP is out and so I will write uncensored!!! She is far more diplomatic than me. Bless her. 
I think we all deserve recognition and being addressed in the manner we are comfortable with. We all deserve the space to write what we feel and to be able to rely on our friends for support. Because surely, weirdly as it is, we have all become friends.I am sorry that some of us do not feel comfortable and I for one would welcome a situation where we could all build on what we have and make it into something better and stronger. I want to celebrate our existence here at all and the wonderful community that has evolved.I dislike the term PC and disagree that this is what these discussions are about. We are more than that, don't you think? It is our space to carve out what we ALL need.

Although I don't post regularly( for no other reason than being lazy) you are all very much in my thoughts. I weep at your and our pain and hurts and weep and cry at our successes and joys. It is a very difficult journey which does not always end in a way which we want. We want to be able to share the joys and the hurts.I get so much from being a part of this community and obviously so does Mable( not sure her clients get quite as much from it, as she is a litlle pre-occupied at work most mornings..)

I recognise that we may be feeling a bit prickly about it all - perhaps because we do all very much want to be supportive and it is upsetting when we discover one of our " clan" does not feel that. It really is not personal and just a reflection of how many wonderful babies are being conceived. I would welcome a seperate thread for bumps and babies to post on so that the whole gammet of issues/ feelings / thoughts could be discussed. I do go on other sites and read very interesting discussions about being lesbian families and would love to have them with people that I feel so much more connected with. I think having a thread for people that are ttc would be welcome and sensitive and not exclusive. Lets face it ,we are all addicted to these boards anyway - I can't really see people not contributing accross the threads.

I look forward to hearing from the moderators about their ideas. I know they are watching this thread and I presume welcome everyone's ideas. ( yes even that small vocal minority).

lots of hugs to everyone

Siobhan XX


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## viviennef

Hi, I hope you don't mind me posting here about the name issues. I normally post on the donor bumps, babies and beyond thread but I read your thread regularly even though I don't contribute. The reason I read it is because you've got a really great thread going here and it's so nice to see how everyone is so supportive and close on this thread and it would be a shame to seperate and lose that.

If I could offer my suggestion and agree with Candygirl. What about doing something similar to what is on here already and have a 'lesbian, alternative families ttc with donor sperm' and a 'lesbian, alternative families bumps, babies and beyond' or would it be better for everyone just to post on the 'donor, bumps and babies' if they want to discuss pregnancy and babies?

I found that it's easier to talk about issues of ttc on the 'anyone else using donor sperm' and then if I wanted to talk about pregnancy and babies I would go on the 'bumps and babies' thread as I often felt a bit insensitive talking about pregnancy, babies when people were going through hell ttc. 

At the end of the day, no matter what relationship we're in, we're all in the same boat having to use donors to become mummies so I, for one, would really miss you if you moved your thread. 

Wishing everyone lots of luck,

Viv xxx


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## nickster

Hello folks

My partner and I are just embarking on our TTC journey, and I've been reading this thread on-and-off for a few months now. What with the great thread-naming debate raging, it seems there's no time like the present to introduce myself!

The first thing to say is that it's been an enormous comfort to me to discover so many amazing lesbians out there trying to have babies. Six months ago I felt very isolated (not helped by the fact that we're currently living on the Isle of Wight!). But I've really been buoyed up by online communities like this one.

I guess our situation is a little different to most of you. We're trying to start a family with gay friends in a co-parenting arrangement. To start with we're doing home inseminations (currently in TWW - arghhh!), but might move on to a clinic if that doesn't work (not least because the boys live abroad).

I suppose that's why I haven't contributed so far: a) we're not (yet) using a clinic and b) we're talking about 'fathers' rather than 'donors'. But now it occurs to me that - however we're going about it, and whatever set-up we've decided on - we're all lesbians facing similar issues and emotional struggles. 

I know there are other boards out there, but this is the one I've been eyeing up (enviously!) for the last few months, as it seems closest to the kind of support I'm looking for at the moment.

So what am I saying? Well, firstly that I hope you don't mind me joining in. And secondly that I'd vote for a thread / board name that's as inclusive and welcoming as possible. For newcomers it would seem to make sense to have separate threads for those TTC vs bumps/babies, but I can see that could potentially divide a very tight-knit group of people. And finally, presumably the more visible it is, the better...

xxx


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## lucky2010

Welcome *Nickster*, of course you can join us!! Sounds like an exciting journey you're on.... good luck with your 2WW!!!!!!

*Eve and Ros*, woke up at 4am thinking about you and you scan.... very best of luck and let us know and have a fab weekend in london!

Hi to all, love from still sore and stiff as a board, Rach x


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## Mable

Hi all,
Scan update from me - have exactly the same number of follies and size as Monday! SO relieved that I'm not at risk of OHSS but also a bit disappointed as they won't take me to EC with 1 follie at 16mm. They've upped my dose to 150mg a day and I've another scan on Monday to see if there's been any more growth. If not, I'm to downregulate again (OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN) and stim on a slightly higher dose. It's not an exact science this, is it! 

Keeping all crossed for Eve and Ros today for their scan news - hope all's well there.     

Hello Vivienne, thanks for your contribution, and big welcome to Nickster. Don't be put off by our discussion, it's a one-off, never happened so far.

 and best wishes to us all,
Mable


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## Pilchardcat

Hi all

Just to say your comments are not going unnoticed.  We are in the process of sorting out some areas of the site currently and I'll get back to you all asap,

Amanda


----------



## snagglepat

OK,

I'm going to make this post about the name thing and then quietly back away. I have to admit I've felt personally a little hurt by some of the discussions that have happened about the name and have been avoiding the thread to a certain degree as a result. However, I'm trying not to let my personal feelings come into this as we're such a diverse group of people we are bound to struggle to find a real consensus and I'm aware that I'm in the minority when it comes to my own identity. So, what follows is my attempt to make a thought through, reasoned post that considers all the issues raised.

*The issues as they appear to me:*

1. We are a group of people who have become close friends in internet terms and wish to maintain that closeness, but due to our changing circumstances our current format is isolating some of our members. Those that manage to become pregnant are wary of upsetting those who are still trying and those that are not yet pregnant struggle to cope with lots of pregnancy talk. Also, some of us have fertility issues and needs lots of medical support to conceive, others have no fertility issues and either conceive easily or choose to go down an intensive medical route for other reasons, and these different perspectives can also combine in ways that make some people feel uncomfortable in posting on the thread. Equally we have some of us using known and some using unknown donors. Many of our experiences are similar but some are unique to each situation and at the moment they are all combined. For a while, I think R and I were the only couple on the thread using a known donor and I did feel isolated by that at the time.

2. Some members (a minority I accept) have always struggled with the fact that the thread is explicitly named 'lesbian' as they didn't feel that this included them.

3. The current name and location of this thread doesn't welcome others who might appreciate being a part of our wider community, such as those who might be embarking on a co-parenting arrangement (*Nickster's* post is timely in illustrating this), or gay male couples pursuing surrogacy. Through its location it's hard to find for new people too.

4. Because we currently use just one thread to talk about everything, specific topics become lost and are difficult for new members, or older members wishing to re-read them to find again. It's also difficult if one member posts a specific question because the responses to that question will be spread over numerous posts and probably numerous pages. In terms of being able to see this community as an information resource as well as a support network (which we should, as between us our collective knowledge and experience is huge) this is not the most user-friendly and organised way we could manage things. Many of the responses in recent days have glossed over this issue but I think it's a really important one. It would be nice if new people searching for info could come to the forum and, if they chose, find and use the information they needed without ever having to post. Not everyone is as chatty as we regulars are.

5. There are concerns that if we move to a new section on the site that we'll lose our sense of community and closeness and that others will find it harder to lurk and keep track of our progress. Also that we'll also not be able to access the support of others in the 'donor sperm and eggs' section as easily and we may ostracise others by being somewhere 'else' with a name unique to 'us'.

*Possible solutions as I see them:*

1. Everyone seems to be in agreement that having two threads, one for those of us that are pregnant and one for those of us that are still trying is a good idea. However, the fact that there are other sets of circumstances that are unique to some of us that have resulted in people feeling excluded or uncomfortable with our thread as it stands has been glossed over despite it being mentioned by several people. Having two threads would get us over the biggest current problem, but not the rest, and to just split in two feels short sighted. So much thought, energy and emotion has gone into this discussion that we should try to come up with a solution that encompasses all of our issues, not just the biggest, most obvious one. Otherwise we risk having to do all this again next time a few people drop away because they feel excluded.

2. Come up with a name that is inclusive. The majority seems to want the word 'lesbian' in the title for our threads and appear to be more comfortable with the addition 'and other alternative families' rather than 'GBT'. (I will use the term LGBT in this post as shorthand though, as it's easier to type.  Please note that I'm making no assumptions about our future name by doing so.)

3. I know that many on here don't see this as an issue but it is something I feel strongly about and have a sound knowledge of, having spent a large part of my adult life working to make alternative communities more inclusive and challenging exclusion and discrimination (which can be amazingly subtle) in those communities. Because of our current location, we welcome others who are not in lesbian (or other alternative) family set ups but who have other experiences and knowledge about the issues we face using donor sperm into our thread. This is really valuable and I don't think any of us want to lose it.

However, there are others, like those mentioned above that are automatically excluded by our location and may never even find us. I believe a gay male couple using surrogacy would be very welcome on the surrogacy thread, but they might also really appreciate being able to talk to others about, say the parenting issues around gender role models in same sex families. We could provide that, (and I for one would welcome it) but our current format is not in any way supportive of it.

Location-wise, just yesterday I was emailed by an old college friend who is about to start TTC with her (female) partner. I recommended this thread to her, but describing how to actually find it took several sentences. For someone new to TTC and to the support that the internet can offer, this thread is a nightmare to find, and potentially daunting to get involved in, yet many of us agree that it is the most personally supportive place we've found online. It would be much easier to say 'hey, check out the LGBT section on FF' to potentially interested parties.

4. Again, this harks back to answer 1. Having a general chat thread is great - we all get a lot out of it and no-one is suggesting for a moment that we lose this (although we might find ourselves with two). But there does seem to be a need for more. This might not be much at first, but I'm sure that it will grow. As *Toni* has said, being able to have separate threads for those of us with diagnosed fertility problems, or those of us debating the practical elements of inseminating at home to threads discussing legal issues, dealing with prejudice, naming decisions etc is going to make everything more easy to find and more easy for others who might not be 'LGBT' but who have relevant knowledge to contribute to without having to trawl through a huge long thread to see if there's anything in there that might interest them. I actually see choosing to arrange things in this kind of way as being more inclusive rather than less, simply because it will be better organised and easier to use, especially for those of us that don't 'live' on this site and know it inside out.

5. If we were to move and lose our sense of community, that would be because we stopped posting. The sense of community we have here is down to the many wonderful individuals that are a part of it, and if each of us makes the choice to keep using this site and sharing with the others then our sense of community will remain intact regardless of what we do with this thread and its potential off-shoots. In my personal experience, over the time I've been using this site I've fitted into a good third of the different sub-sections at some point, and have used them at those times as I've felt I needed to. I've also avidly been following various threads that have absolutely nothing to do with my own personal experience, but that interest me and that have me continually reading because I feel supportive of the people in there. I've posted the odd words of support and contributed in other ways too. That's the great thing about this site, there are all these different areas and everyone has their niches, but is also free to access the other areas and support and be supported in them. We're not talking about moving to the moon here, just about making this area easier to find for people new to the site and more inclusive, not only of our existing membership but also of people in other related-but-not-necessarily-the-same situations.

I think it's also worth considering that this is a site for those experiencing fertility issues. For many of us (though by all means not all, myself included), our fertility is fine, it's our choice of partner or family set up (whatever we may choose to call it) that means we require some assistance to get pregnant, or we go about it in a not-so-traditional way. Some of the issues we face are very different as a result of this, certainly when it comes to the decision making process about how to proceed etc. It's not because of our identities (or lack of them) that we should consider having a section for LGBT and other 'doing things differently' site users, but because the situations we face are different. Some of them will be the same as others using donor sperm, or others using IVF, or others over 40, and in those cases we can either post about them in an LGBT area or in the threads for those other sub-sections of this wonderful community, or both. However, some of them will be unique to others in a similar family set-up, and that is one thing that, apart from this one thread, isn't currently catered for on this site.

I suspect that ultimately it will be up to the moderators of FF to decide what happens next and where we go based on the discussions we've been having here, and I for one am very happy to abide with whatever they decide. It must be clear from the above for those of you that have managed to trawl through it all that I personally feel that an LGBT (or whatever it ends up being called) section on the main menu of this site is the most sustainable long term solution to the various issues that have been raised, however, if this is not the decision that is taken, then so be it. I've had my say now.  If a new section is started, I'm also happy to volunteer to be a moderator should that be a useful offer, although I'd want to share the role with at least one other person. Maybe, in the sake of inclusiveness, that other person should be an 'L'...

And on a final note, if I go quiet for a bit, please don't worry. I've found some of the comments made in this discussion by some people a bit hurtful, but I will go away and deal with that myself. I may choose to avoid the thread a bit until a decision is made and we can get on with simply supporting each other once more, but equally, if I can be a useful part of ongoing discussions do let me know. PMing me might be the best bet though, just in case I miss something here.

And just to show I'm still reading and caring about you all, sending positive thoughts to *Eve and Ros*, a huge welcome to *Nickster*, positive energy to *Mable* and her stubborn ovaries, a 'lovely to hear from you again' to *Toni*, thank you *Edith* for your thoughtful post and PM - they were much appreciated, *TerriW* fingers crossed for the ongoing success of your embies, *RachJulie* your experience of antenatal classes seems to be not at all uncommon - I hope they improve with time, Good luck *Paula* for your next IVF and big big hugs to *Alison* and her huge bump.

Best wishes to all,

Gina. x


----------



## magsandemma

Hi All

Nickster  -  welcome and good luck with your 2ww, dont let it drive you too mad   , lots of positive thoughts      .

Mable  -  Good to hear that you are not at risk of OHSS, hope that with your increased dose some of those follies will get going over the weekend and you'll have some nice juicy ones for collection    .

Well we are moving house tomorrrow so no work for a few days, so wont get to catch up again until next wednesday, so hope everyone is doing ok and that you all have a good weekend!!

Speak soon 
Maggie
xx


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## nickster

Thanks for all your welcomes and words of encouragement! 

I am indeed going slightly mad... It's my first 2WW and despite trying my darndest to remain calm and rational barely a minute of the day goes by without pondering what's going on in me belly. I'm pretty sure it hasn't worked this time (getting all my usual pre-period signs).  Guess I'll find out one way or the other in a couple of days.

Still... at least I'm getting plenty of chores done in the name of distraction - off to mow the grass now! 

Nickyx


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## evelet

we are very happy tonight because (after a tortuously looooong wait in the waiting room) Ros had her scan and we saw 1 baby with healthy strong heartbeat. Phew! Now just worrying about the 12 wk scan! We also saw the doctor who told us that Ros should not have the blood tests checking for downs syndrome etc as there would be false results and to go for a nuchal scan instead. don't think we'll bother though...


@ Mable - fingers crossed for you STILL!!! when will it end?!


----------



## duff

> If you were a FTM transgendered well then this would be totally the wrong thread and area for you.


Hello everyone,

I suppose the above quote is my cue to come out.

As quite a few people on here already know, I'm an FtM. I started transitioning about ten years ago and have since then had a male name and live as a man.

My partner and I began trying for a baby about 6 years ago, with her trying to conceive using donor sperm. When it turned out she wasn't fertile, I came off the hormones and donated my eggs. Unfortunately this also didn't work but also around that time, t was diagnosed with breast cancer.

She's all clear now but we woudn't be able try with her anymore due the daily medication she needs to take (kind of ironic that I come off the hormones and t goes on them..). Luckily for us, we have a fully functioning set of ovaries and a uterus right here with me, hence me trying to get pregnant. Ok, yes, it is unusual but there you go. It's not so long ago that each one of us on here would be considered unusual for wanting children but not being heterosexual! We might even have all been called selfish too, just for wanting families.

When I first joined FF, I just popped in for advice about Clomid etc, but you know how this thread traps you! Suddenly I was sharing the highs and lows, my own and all yours. I don't by any stretch of the imagination fit the title "lesbians using donor sperm" but I think I fit here on this thread. I have more in common with you lot than I do with pretty much anyone, except maybe smuggling wee sticks into the gents toilets. That's a pretty unique experience to me, I suppose! 

So it's feels sad to me that anyone trying to make this thread more inclusive, so that it actually reflects the reality of those of us who've posted here is labelled "PC", as if to say we don't all fit into the cateogory "lesbian" is to be trouble making for the sake of it. It's funny. the same PCness is what's made all of our lives so much easier. There are countless women who've paved all our ways who've stood up and said "no, I don't have a husband" or insisted their female partners are at the birth of their child, or demanded a clinic treat them without them having to pretend to be heterosexual. I bet they were all called "PC" too at the time.

Anyway, being a tranny freak boy is not the reason I've posted here less recently.

Please can we have two threads?

After my last IVF failed, I absolutely couldn't read about BFPs and feeling like that made me feel terrible. I honestly felt so guilty about it all that I just couldn't post. Of course I checked in on you all every day, but it was really hard. I know I would check both threads all the time and write on both. There might be times though, like after a failed cycle, that maybe I won't look at the bumps thread for a while. Maybe I'll take whatever time I need to stick with the people still trying and not feel like I'm the only person who it will never work for. It'd be nice to have that choice though.

So that's my two penneth. I really hope people aren't upset that I didn't let on my little secret before and that I faked being a lesbian. But what choice did I have? With a nice inclusive thread title I would have been much more open about my story.

I told all the people at the meet-up about me and, of course, they were all absolutely wonderful . Oh, and if anyone thinks maybe I shouldn't be posting here at all, and that this really is "totally the wrong thread and wrong area" for me, then please tell me where to go. Literally! I mean it. I don't think there is anywhere else.

Lots o' love,

duff X


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## duff

ohmigosh, how rude of me!  I forgot to say a massive congratulations to Roz and Eve!


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## struthie

Wow Duff what an amazing post,nothing else to add but your post really touched me.
Good luck to you xxx


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## Damelottie

Hi Duff

Yes, it really touched me too.  . Thats quite some story   
Gosh - coming of your hormones? That must have been really tough.

Good luck - Hope you both get your dream.

I might go and have a little cry actually - bloody hormones  . It just shouldn't be so crap and difficult should it really?

Take care

Emma


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## lucky2010

*Duff*, As far as I see it you just add an extra colourful stripe to our lovely rainbow family. Thank-you so much for being so open about your situation 

*My Vote !!!*:

I think I'd like to 'vote' on what I think would be a good solution to the thread name issue, if it doesn't happen like this then OK. I think having a whole board named 'LGBT/ alternative families ttc, parenting issues etc' (or something more all encompassing), within this board we could have the two threads people have suggested ie, ttc and bumps babies and beyond and then people can start different threads about specific issues, some that may be ongoing threads and some that May just require responses to one-off questions. I think this way there will be a more organised catalogue of information for people to access if they want to look back on a certain topic without trawling month of posts. In the board title it could say something like 'all welcome' just to prevent people feeling excluded. I'm sure if this board does come to fruition I will still access different areas of the site , I just think there are some issues specific to 'alternative' families that may be more appropriate to discuss within a specific forum.

I hope this can be resolved soon!

*Eve and Ros*, huge congrats on your scan, excellent news!!!!

*Mable*, glad your scan didn't hold disastrous news and fingers crossed for you for Mon.

Hi to everyone else,

Love Rach xx


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## Edith

Thank you so much *Duff* for posting. We have missed you on the thread. I am so glad you felt able to write and I think it will make us all think about what has been said in recent days, in a new light. It is so easy to make assumptions isn't it? I am sure everyone would agree you are at home with us (on this or on the new thread if it happens) I just wish that when this thread started with myself and mable asking if there was anyone out there in our situation - we had made the title of our post inclusive from the beginning. Sorry for that. It would have made it alot easier, as you say, for you and i am sure other people to share. Welcome *Nicki * and partner to the thread and hope you do find it a great source of support. Hope you are staying sane in your 2WW. Fingers crossed. You have come at an exciting time! We are getting bigger, better and more open in my opinion and functioning more and more like an online family!

*Gina*, thank you so much for your post. It was great to hear from you too. I am so sorry that you have been hurt by some of the comments. You are such a wonderful source of support to so many people, you respond so thoroughlyand sensitively and always take the time for personals.It seems doubly unfair that you should be hurt. Thank you for summarising the main issues and giving positive solutions. (as ever). Glad Big Sister ( moderators) are watching and look forward to hearing how the thread can develop.

*Ros and Eve* - many congratulations on your baby ( what a relief eh:?) and that lovely strong heartbeat.That is truly wonderful! Hope you have a fab weekend in London and can at least relax a bit before the worry of the 12 week scan. Congratulations!

*Terri * - thinking of you for your embryo transfer. Hope it goes smoothly .  Best of luck for keeping sane on your 2ww.

Hey, I 'm getting into all this writing. Its great and such a good way of avoiding school work. ( I am a teacher not a pupil before the gossip starts!).

How are the twin bumps *Alison*? God how lucky are you - what a great excuse to pig out.....I'm *never* giving up breastfeeding for that very reason. (and hence look like I am carrying twins - full term!)

*Duff and Gina,* Mable sends a big   to you both. ( "do you know how to do that?" she says ..... b.... cheek.!).

Rach - Thanks for that. seems to be a consensus forming on this, as several people now have suggested something along those lines. Fab!

Edith. xx


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## evelet

So there it is! there is  nothing to be SAD about! we haven't been arguing, we've just been on a big long processing session. its what we do best after all!

I agree with you Edith - its been utterly illuminating to hear everyone's views. I'm so glad you came out Duff too - you are going to be a flipping fantastic Dad one day (and soon i hope).

So it seems like 2 threads are definitely required at the very least. I would really like a LBGT area as someone (I t hink it was Gina) suggested a few pages back. As I have said before, if being over 40 is a reason to have a special area then I do think an LBGT area would be at least equivalent. As I've said before I'll moderate if Mable needs any help there. I do think we should keep the word Lesbian in the title (if only because it makes it easier to find) but I don't see why we cant have an area called "Lesbian/ Gay / Bisexual / Trans something.. (ah. its harder than it seems thinking of the name...)

It has been good to be in London for the weekend although we haven't really had time to breathe much with all the family stuff. It is 'orrible having divorced parents partly because everything takes twice the time. I'm too old to enjoy the double xmas/birthday present side of it too! Jude did NOT like the tube at all and pulled his hat down over his eyes and ears until we got back up to street level. I can see his point - I'd forgotten how noisy it is.

As a bit of a foil to all this processing we are doing I do think it would be nice to meet up. Obviously you are all welcome in S****horpe but i do understand if none of you feel you really fancy the Industrial Garden Town (is it the only industrial garden town? what IS an industrial garden town??). There is a possibility we could host one in London at my Dad's flat (in Gray's Inn) but I need to talk to him about when he is going to be out of town because he would get in the way rather... I'm seeing him tomorrow and will sound him out. His flat has a massive living room so would be a good place to host although there are a LOT of stairs.  Alternatively we could try and find a central-ish London venue. We could do a picnic in Hyde Park or something. Any ideas anyone?


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## Alison0702

*Eve & Ros* Congrats on the scan..bet you were extremely pleased to see only 1 there  Glad you're having a nice time in London. If the next meet up is in London, we'll have to skip it I'm afraid, bit far at the mo.

*Duff* Hi there matey! Glad you are both ok, and nice to hear from you. Also, good to see that you have said what you said on here  Proud of you. And I second what Eve said about you making a fab dad one day - and T a fab mum of course. Hugs to you both.

Hi to everyone else


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## starfish3

Hi All

Eve/Ros - congrats on your scan. Know what you mean about worrying about next scan already.

Mable - jeez, hang in there, good luck for your repeat scan on Monday.

Duff - thanks for your bravery. Not a combo I would have imagined, but there you go, You have shown us there are unexpected situations where transgendered folks want the support of our group.

Can't be bothered reading all the ins and outs of everyones recent postings about thread names etc, too long and dreary (though i am not sayng unnecessary)... I vote for having a separate section closer to the top of the thread hierachy and not under donor sperm, as I said earlier. But the main thing is that we dont let our differences of opinion divide us, we are a small enough group here already and we cant afford that. Seen that all too often in other LGBT groups and it doesnt do anyone any good.

Take care
Sharyn in New Zealand


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## lucky2010

*Alison*, I LOVE your scan pics, twins really do fascinate me!

Rach x


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## TerriWW

Hi guys

Evelet and Ros - congratulations on the scan  

Mable - so glad you aren't over stimulating - hoping for good follicles for you on your scan

Ju had 2 embryos transfered on friday. Both 7 cell. One with 10% fragmentaion - which apparently is fine and one with 20% - apparently 0-15% is normal so a little lower quality for this one. The other embryo was 5 cells and just dividing again so I need to ring today to see if it got to a stage that they froze it. 2WW her... 

Anyone know anything about frangmentation and embryo quality etc - do our embryos sound ok? The dr said they'd had plenty of pregnancies with mbyos of this quality ...


----------



## Mable

Well, it's good luck to Terri for the 2WW       . Sorry, don't know much about fragmentation in detail. Hope you get some answers, perhaps try the IVF thread too.

Bad news for me again - have no follies big enough for EC so have to downreg again until 7th August and then stim on a slightly higher dose (150mg od). Feeling exhausted and quite hopeless at the mo but sure my positivity will pick up the closer I get to stimming again.

We are so lucky to have Monty.


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## lucky2010

Oh no *Mable*!! I saw that you'd posted and scrolled down to your post with my fingers crossed that you would have news of impending egg collection. I am so sorry that things haven't worked out this time.... here's to a successful August  x

Rach x


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## evelet

@ Terri - don't know anything about the fragmentation. i will ask ros becuause she might remember what they said at Care about our embryos.

@ Mable - I've PM'd you. I am actually speechless at your bad luck with all of this. I can almost SEE you with a baby so much do i think you'll get there in the end. love to you and edith...


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## Alison0702

*Mable* I cant believe you have to downreg again.  I'm totally fed up for you. Good luck for the next time. I saw you mentioned that I'd coasted..what does that mean


----------



## Mable

Thanks Eve, Thanks RachJulie, Thanks Alison xxx - I'm just trying to be patient and to keep positive.

Rationally, I feel ok, they just need to find the right dose for me, but emotionally I am exhausted, frustrated, every set back feels like a big loss, I suppose if I knew that it would happen for me one day then I'd be more patient and feel more positive about waiting my turn. And it's expensive all this downregging and stimming all over again - a set of stimming drugs costs £700 and this is my third go at stimming - that's 3 IUIs (if only there was the sperm).

Alison - coasting is where you stim and then you stop the FSH for a while whilst the follies grow on their own without drugs. I think you said you did this, as your oestradol level was high? Perhaps I got that wrong. Anyway, if I had done this when I had 40 follies I might not have got to 80 and had to abandon. However, my clinic say they don't do coasting because without FSH the eggs can die within the follies, so you get to EC and don't collect many good quality eggs. I told them about you anyway, they were very surprised! Then I went back and told them you were pregnant with twins! My clinic say coasting isn't the thing to do anymore because of the eggs dying. Anyway, my clinic are a bit slap dash. Today they gave me the leaflet for women who don't produce enough eggs, suggesting I go for counselling etc because IVF will not work for me, inspite of my circumstances. When I tried to give it back to them they said I had to walk out of the door with it. I left it on the porch. This kind of NHS bureacracy makes me mad - because I work in the NHS and it's so annoying.

Anyway, enough about me - hope Terri is coping ok with the 2ww and everyone else is OK.
Thanks all for your support - Mable 

ps I've been keeping busy by doing DIY haircuts at home again - this time, Edith.....

pps Alison - wow - your twins look wonderful!!!! Can't quite believe it. When I last saw you, you were about to start all this!! x


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## snagglepat

Hello folks,

*Maggie*, hope the move went well. They're stressful at the best of times. We're already beginning to panic mildly about moving ourselves and it probably won' be happening until early next year.

*Nickster*, how are you doing in that 2ww? Don't let premenstrual symptoms fool you. There are many of us here that have had major PMT only to find ourselves with a BFP a few days later. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

*Eve and Ros* - woo hoo! One healthy, happy bean!  You must be so, so pleased. I'm really chuffed for you. Good idea about getting another meet up arranged soon too.

*Duff*, good to see you here again and thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't imagine this board without you and am very glad you're a part of it. 

*Edith*, lovely to see you on here and I agree - forget the school work and join us on here more! 

And *Mable*, I am so, so sorry to hear that you're having to downreg again. I really don't know how you're coping with it, but wanted to send you huge hugs and positive wishes that next time, the dose will be perfect for you.

*Terri*, I can't help you on the embie quality front, but I'd go with what your doctor said. If others have had success then there's no reason why you shouldn't either. You've done everything you possibly can. It's hope time now. When are you testing? Sending tons of positive implantation vibes your way.

*Alison*, what a beautiful picture of your little beans. I still find myself having little moments of excitement on your behalf, it's such amazing news. Mind you, I find that with all of our BFPs to a certain extent. they all feel like 'our' babies to me, in a way. I hope that doesn't feel like I'm getting possessive over everyone else's children, but we share so much here that the highs (and the lows) are shared experiences to a certain extent. But twins are something special. How are you feeling now the initial shock/excitement is easing? Or has it not yet? 

And I'm sorry if I got a bit emotional about the thread issue. It wasn't anything personal with anyone, I just felt a little excluded in places, which felt really strange when I normally feel so much at home here. But getting it off my chest was a big help, and I've had some lovely PMs and replies which have all helped too. I know I shouldn't have let a discussion affect me personally, but I'm a bit rubbish like that - too much of a softie.  I feel fine now.

All is well here too, although I'm beginning to experience some of the not so pleasant elements that shifting over into the third trimester brings. I'm going to have no choice but to start slowing down now. I couldn't even get my socks on this morning! Fortunately Rae is working from home today so she did it for me, otherwise I'd have had cold feet all day. I've also gone and got thrush for the third time this pregnancy so am off for blood tests next week to test my glucose levels as I might be heading over into gestational diabetes territory. The thought of giving up sugar for the rest of his pregnancy fills me with dread - chocolate has become my crutch - but if needs must.... My urine test for glucose was fine 2 weeks ago though, so I'm hoping I'll be fine.

So, to follow on from *Eve*'s post, who's up for another meet up? A few people have offered to host/arrange it. Would it be worth those people volunteering again so that we can set up some kind of poll to see where would be the most popular place? Or does someone just want to do what I did: jump in and say 'Right, it's at this place on this date, see you there'? I personally would be willing to consider travelling anywhere with a bit of notice to sort out doggy/accommodation things, bump and impending labour (or mini-munchkin) permitting.

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x


----------



## duff

Hello!

Thanks for your sweet messages you lot.

Mable - all the best for it all. This is such a trial for you, I really hope once they get the dose sorted it'll all go smoothly.

Edith - Do you think Mable maybe wants to open a monastery? 

as for us, we're in the negotiation stage with a friend we've approached to be a donor. I don't know though. I probably shouldn't be writing here today because I'm so premenstrual and negetive. We had a great meeting with him the other day but now he wants to "think" more. Oh I _know_ this is understandable but I just want to get on with it!  How did everyone else in this situation get on with negotiations?


----------



## starrysky

Hello everyone

Back from scotland and I have missed a lot by the looks of it. 

Mable - I am so sorry that you are having this ongoing nightmare. It is so frustrating. Fingers crossed fro august and getting it juist right. How are you with naturally curly hair? Or you could do adams, he's still nearly bald. 

Hopefully we'll make a meet up next time, it would be lovely to meet you all. Our gp has put us in contact with another couple who are beginning the process. I am really behind the times, the GP has approached the PCT for some funding,, are people getting any nhs funding at the moment or not? 

I feel its late for me to say what i feel about the thread issues, as so much has been said, but as Tonia said I am one of these people who has sometimes felt that a separate thread would be good. I had such a frightening pregnancy and you gave me good support but it was difficult for me to speak openly. I had the same thing on the tri boards and even asked if there should a a thread for people experiencing difficult pregnancy as it can be hard to be negative and fearful when some people are still trying and others have good pregnancies and don;t wnat to read abou what can go wrong. I have also had a tough time since Adams birth with exhaustion and coming to terms with everything that has happened but again felt reluctant to say too much. I've also had the opposite experience of trying to conceive for four/five years and see others get pregnant on boards and finding that difficult. I have seen people drop off on the thread when there have been bfps  and they havent been successful. 

On the other hand those of us who have got pregant can support those who are trying and who are new to the process, and some of us are going through it agian either ourselves, or our partners, so I think there is a place for having two threads and posting on both. 

I have sometimes been disappointed since I have been pregnant, I posted adams scan picture and hardly anyone commented (which is tough on a mum-to-be who thinks her babys scan pic is beautiful). A while ago I said I wanted to tell you all my birth story and no-one responded to that either which was really a point for me when I wondered about continuing to post. I did though try not to take it too personally as there were many people in 2ww's at that time. I am sure there have been times for all of us when we've asked a question or made a comment and no-one has picked up on it. 

I think the thread being on FF is a good thing as myself and I know others of us have problems such as endometriosis and PCOS, blocked tubes etc.  

I don't know about a title for the thread but someting representative of us as an LGBT group is what I would be in favour of. 

Sorry if I have come along with my thoughts/feelings a bit late in the day, but as someone who values the thread and you all very highly I wanted to say something and to be honest about my experiences. 

Love and   to all on 2wws and bumps and double bumps!! And people in between!!

Heather


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## lucky2010

*Heather*, if i didn't comment on your scan picture i don't know why as I've always thought it was gorgeous..... in fact, it was your picture and your reccommendation of the whole experience that prompted us to go for our 4D scan in the first place, so THANKS!!!! Secondly, I have just read back on your posts and I must have missed the one where you offered to tell us all your birth story, I was always really interested to find out what happened as I knew it had been a traumatic experience and i knew initially you said you didn't want to post about it.... I'm always interested!!!

*Duff*, as for donor negotiations, we were in a bit of a different situation as our donor was known, in that we met him, but was someone we found for this purpose and not a friend. We never had any friends that we thought were suitable to approach, although some did offer. I know all about the impatience to get on with it, in fact my impatience almost cost us my maternity pay (we are only eligible by 3 weeks!!!!). I know I got very worried when we hadn't had contact from our donor for even a week or two. My fingers are crossed that his 'thinking' comes out with the decision you want.... Best of luck !!!

*Gina*, good to see you post!! I totally understand about not being able to get socks on. I am in Crocs today as I couldn't bend down to get either shoes or socks on!! Hope your blood results are OK next week.

I have seen the physio who has put me on crutches for my SPD. I am hoping to only need them for a week's worth of rest and then to go back to work next week... here's hoping as I can't stand being off before 'my time'!!!

Hi to everyone else.

Rach xx


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## candygirl

*RachJulie* - I've been put on crutches for my SPD too - it's miserable isn't it? I've been off sick for nearly 2 weeks now, and my GP has said that he doesn't think I'll get back to work, so I'm coming to terms with stopping work nearly 2 months before I'd planned to. It's very dull being at home all the time, but other people with kids keep telling me to try and enjoy it while I can and watch lots of DVDs and read lots of books as I'll apparently never have the chance again!

*Mable* - sorry to hear you have to downreg yet again. It must be unbearably frustrating for you to have to keep going up and down with the hormones like you are.

*Gina* - I've been living in one pair of Birkenstock clogs for the last couple of weeks, as hardly any of my shoes fit anymore, and bending down is a bit of a trial.

*Duff* - so glad you're sticking with the thread (and all of us!), and good luck with the donor negotiations. We bypassed all of that and went with anonymous sperm. Then, once I was pregnant, THREE of our male friends offered for the next one! We probably won't take them up on it, as we've got enough sperm from the same donor to have a few more goes, but it's lovely that they offered.

*Eve* and *Ros* - congrats on your first scan being ok. So pleased for you.

*Heather * - I'd love to hear your birth story.

*Terri * - good luck with the 2WW  

Hi to everyone else. I'd just like to say that I hope no one feels left out if I've not mentioned them by name - I am thinking of you all. (although that might be projection on my part, as I always feel left out if I'm not mentioned - it must be the hormones!)

Candy x


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## lucky2010

Hi *Candy*, you poor thing being off too. I sure am fed up with the crutches after half a day!!!!! I am hoping it's just the fall last week that's made my pelvis temporarily worse. I am due to finish work in about 4/5 weeks anyway as have 2 weeks annual leave before my mat leave starts but I'm not ready to finish yet.... fingers crossed the rest will do the trick!!! Good to hear from you!!

Rach x x


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## Alison0702

Wow it's been busy on here since yesterday 

*Mable* The next time I see you, if you come near me with a pair of scissors, I'll scream and scream  Although I do like the monk look, it's not for me   
I didnt coast - might have agreed that I did with you then as I had no clue what it meant ha ha. No, they did oestrodial blood tests every other day to check my levels, and then reduced the dosage to half when the levels went really high. I was on Merional. Lovely stuff! 

*Hi Heather* - Glad you had a nice time in Scotland. How is that handsome little man of yours  I'm looking forward to hearing the full birth story, as I didnt get the full uncensored version from you 

*Gina* - Cooey! Ooh your poor little feet. My friend had HUGE feet and toes at the end of her pregnancy, and said it was painful. Bless yoo. I'm ok, still bleeding slightly so I'm allowing that to spoil my enjoyment. Its not a massive amount, but I still dread going to the loo. I am a worse knicker checker than I have ever been  The blood did show on the scan, and the nurse did say I would get more, so I think I'll just have to get used to it. I told one of my team members today who was so pleased for me, felt nice to say it out loud to someone new. 

*Rach* You really do sound like your having a rubbish time. Hows your neck? 
Are you going to bother with pride this year? We'll be down there on the Saturday as we're seeing Norah Jones on the night time, so if you want to meet up, that would be lovely 

*Terri* How's the 2ww going so far? Was Ju ok after the egg collection?   

Hi to *Candy* 

I am having a bit of a food nightmare.....
Ju is trying to force feed me vegetables  She was cooking them last night for tea, and the whole house smelled of fart. I really didnt want them, and sat like a child fiddling about with them on my plate! I am having a curry tonight or else.


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## lucky2010

*Alison*, are you going to be there the Saturday 25th Aug? We are going to Brighton the previous weekend but should be aroud that weekend. If I'm still on crutches I'll probably be reluctant to go into town but It'd be good to meet up if I'm back on my feet. I'll PM you.

Rach x


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## Mable

I agree, it is my worst haircut *ever*! I LOVE cutting hair, but with no formal training, it's very hard to get the fringe straight and the more I tried, the higher it went. When we were in Africa, I did lots of people's hair as there were no hairdressers around and they thought I'd been trained, which was so encouraging and spurred me on! Does anyone know 
1. how to do the fringe straight
2. how to do layers

Hi to *Candy*! Can't believe you are 32 weeks ALREADY!

 to all of you on the 2ww.
Mable


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## Alison0702

Eeeh I've now got an image of lots of Africans running about looking like Monks..think you should stick to your day job


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## TerriWW

Hello

Thanks everyone for your ecouraging 2 ww messages. Ju is just fine - she was a bit sore after egg collection but generally really well. Our 3rd embryo didn't get to be frozen so no frosties but the two that went in were good. From what I've read they sound like at least grade 2 ones so feeling quite happy. We're also really pleased that we got to this stage as it means if it doesn't work this time we should get to this stage again and so feel hopeful it will work at some point. Testing is a week on friday.

*Mable* - I really do feel for you - it must be so hard. Julia has had a long run to get to this stage and we wondered if we'd ever get there. It took 8 IUIs over 10 months to get Angus and then when angus was 3 months old we started trying again with julia (we thought it might take a few goes and were willing to risk it working first time and having 2 children very close in age). But - Julia got an infection from this first attempt - was in hospital 2 days. She had already had a fibroid embolised in the previous year and she ended up having 2 d&cs over the next 6 months to clear up all the mess from a combination of the infection and the fibroid degenerating. During this we time ordered some sperm from denmark (still in the non id release time) as we'd been told it seemed to be more successful - but by the time julia was recovered, the id rules were changed and we couldn't use it... and we had no sperm! Then they found one sibling sperm vial of angus donor which ju did her second iui with and it didn't work. So we were stuck without sperm and a 6 month waiting list. Then we moved to LRI as they had a sperm bank and had 3 natural iuis there (this is a year after first starting) we decided to do the 4the IUI with drugs - but the nurse missed the follicle at the scan and we missed ovulation! So we totally lost faith in LRI, ordered some sperm in from america back to MFS clinic (cost us £2000) and we got it in days before the rules changed on being allowed to do that. We did one more drugs IUI at LRI whilst waiting for the american sperm - didn't work. And so we're now back at MFS doing IVF with the american sperm!!! It's 2 years in september since ju's first IUI

I know that was a bit long winded but I was just hoping to make you feel a bit better about your set backs - keep going - it's really frustrating but there is absolutely no reason why you won't get there eventually - like you say it's just getting the drugs dose right. Which clinic are you at byt the way?

Hope everyone else is doing well


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## Mable

Hi Terri,
Thanks for that. It's good to read people's stories. I am trying to stay patient. Also trying to consider all other options apart from IVF, incase I can't get a dose that makes me produce follicles big enough without getting OHSS. I'm at Kings ACU in London.

Good luck to you on your 2ww. Glad you found hopeful info about your embies.

Somebody must know how to do layers??!?
Mable


----------



## TerriWW

Mable - it's sperm shortage that's your main problem isn't it. Well I know there is a clinic in cambrigde that does things a bit differently ( a friend is there.) You pay £1000 for a donor (I think that's how much) and then you use that donor until it works or you stop trying. you obviously pay for all the treatment along the way too. If treatment works they keep the 1000 if it doesn't you get it back and someone else gets that donor.

If you did decide ivf wasn't working for you (though I'd give it a bit longer if I were you). Would that solve your problem? I'm not sure what the waiting list is like at the clinic but I could find out the clinic name etc for you so you could enquire. You could always go on their waiting list whilst continuing treatment where you are maybe?

Is cambridge a feasible distance for you?

Terri


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## Mable

Thanks Terri for your ideas - very thoughtful. It is lack of sperm why I am doing IVF. Thanks for the Cambridge tip-off - it's a bit far to travel for IUI but good to know about as an option if I don't respond in a useful way to these drugs. Am also looking at LWC, some of the women on Gingerbeer are there and say they have donor sperm for IUI.

Fingers crossed for your 2ww - is time dragging?


----------



## TerriWW

It is dragging a bit - but one thing I have noticed is that it drags a lot more when it's you doing the treatment as you notice every little twinge and it's never off your mind. Whereas with it being julia this time, when I'm at work I can go a few hours without thinking about it ... then I remember and just keep thinking please let them still be in there!

Roll on a week on friday ...


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## nickster

How on earth do you guys keep up with this board?! I turned my back for a few days and there's been an avalanche of posts! 

*Gina * - No joy from me I'm afraid...  but then it was our first attempt so we knew we'd have to be extraordinarily lucky. Dad-to-be J is flying in next Tues for the next round...

*Duff * - We spent nearly two years 'negotiating' with J and his partner, though it was only in the last 6 months that we really got to grips with things. Like you I was desperate just to get on with it, but now I'm glad we took our time - I'm much more confident that we've ended up in a better place for it. Hope it works out with your friend...

Oh, and *Mable* - I have a friend who cuts my hair and has her own patented layering method (not foolproof, but works some of the time!). I'll get her to describe it!

Hello to everyone else - it's going to take me a while to get up to speed with you all!

Nickyx


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## lucky2010

Hi *Nickster*, sorry about your BFN.... fingers crossed for second round sucess!

*Terri,* fingers crossed!!

I've just been to the Midwife, she's my midwife but this is the first time I've seen her. All is well. The boy is breech but she said not to worry till 36 weeks about position. nothing else to report. My friend is coming round in a bit, she has been over from Australia for a month and goes back tomorrow  she moved over there 2 years ago and i miss her so much. I so wish she was going to be here when our boy is born 

Hi to everyone else.

Rach x


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## Alison0702

*Nickster * - sorry to hear of your BFN. Hope next time gets a better result for you 

*Rach* Hope you've had a lovely time with your friend. We have a few friends who live in Australis, and it's horrible when you dont see them for ages.

*Mable* Hope you've you hung up your scissors young lady 

Hi to everyone else

 I have a few questions

*I have a nipple piercing, and wondered when/if I should be taking this out. *

*A few weeks ago, I thought I had pulled a muscle in my bum, but over the last week or so the pain is getting worse, especially when I sit for long periods of time. It hurts so much when I try to get up, it makes me want to cry  Someone at work mentioned sciatica-has anyone had this? Have a docs appointment on Monday, but may bring it forward to tomorrow if it doesnt get any better. *


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## pipgirl

Hi, am new to this board and was just wondering how many users of donor sperm had issues with fertility and how many didnt?
We havent been diagnosed with any problems (yet!) and were interested in the experience of other lesbian couples just opting for straightforward DI at a clinc were?
We are waiting for a consultation and are charting things at the moment in preparation...do they always give you fertility drugs even if no problems registered?

Hope you dont mind me asking what is probably a stupid question!

Thanks.
L + L


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## candygirl

*Pipgirl * - Welcome! No clinic should offer you drugs if all your tests check out as normal. They should let you have at least a few cycles of straight IUI first (where they just put the sperm in your uterus at the right time of your cycle) before moving on to any other treatment.

*Alison * - Sorry to hear you're having pain. It could be sciatica, or it could be the start of SPD (mine started as buttock pain at about 8 weeks). I hope the GP is helpful.
As for the nipple piercing - I found this - http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/pregnancybeauty/1449690.html
It looks like you definitely need to take it out for breastfeeding, and possibly before then.

*Rach * - My midwife said I wasn't allowed to worry about the baby's position till 36 weeks, and then they can still try and turn it if it's breech. Mine was head-down at the last check, but the other morning it was lying horizontally across my tummy, so it still hasn't made it's mind up...

*Terri * - fingers crossed 

*Nickster * - good luck for next time!

I'm starting to get used to being off work now, although daytime tv is really getting on my nerves! I've been having acupuncture twice a week and it seems to be helping a bit. The general consensus is that the pain's not going to get any better until the baby is out though  We're starting to get things ready in the house for it's arrival. My partner's niece had twins 6 months ago (at the age of 18!) and has donated a moses basket, baby birth and a few other bits. And my brother is bringing down a cot and a changing table in the next couple of weeks. It's all starting to seem a bit more like it will actually happen now...

Hi to everyone else. 

Candy x


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## lucky2010

*Candy,*, Is your SPD causing you pain in the pubic bone or elsewhere? Mine is in my sacroiliac joint (R hip), the physio said any pain in the pelvic girdle during pregnancy is SPD but yesterday my midwife said it's SID not SPD, slightly confused  it hurts whatever it is!!! I'm going to see the GP on Monday, if the pain is no better then I'll have to resign myself to a couple more weeks off work but we'll see (not got my head round not going back to work till next April!). I'm seeing an osteopath next Thurs to see if he can help my pain, my friend has been seeing one for her SPD and the difference is unbelievable. I'm not worrying about the baby's position as he turned head down again yesterday afternoon and I now think he's turned again.... there's obviously still plenty of room!! You've not got long to go!!! Are you having a hospital birth? It's exciting getting all the stuff for the baby isn't it, we're almost done now.

*Alison* I agree with Candy, your pain could be the beginnings of SPD, I had R buttock/hip pain from about 8 weeks and at my booking in appt at 13 weeks got referred to the womens health physio.... worth doing! I too think you'll have to take your nipple piercing out. I have my naval pierced and took this out and am so glad I did as it's stretched to the limits now! I also took my tongue piercing out for good measure!!

Hi to *Pipgirl*! Welcome and I'm sure you'll find the information on this site invaluable.

Hi to everyone else and fingers crossed for all those waiting!!!!

Rach x


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## PaulaB

Welcome to pipgirl - When i first started i used clomid straight away. I have a friend who is due to start treatment soon for the first time and she has been advised to start without any drugs and then make decisions along the way if its not successful. Its really your decision so its worth reading up on it all and thinking it through before the treatment gets going. I got prgnant with my DD after five attempts using clomid and shes now four. Good luck with it all.
Paula


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## evelet

@ Alison - according to "The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy For Lesbians - Tips and Techniques from Conception through Birth" by Rachel Pepper - you should take all piercings including labial, belly button and nips. So i guess you better get it out! I think most bio-mums would agree that the first few days of b/feeding are bad enough without a nipple piercing getting in the way. Ros reckons taking it out now would be better and then it would have tim eto settle down before your boobs go mad.

@ Pipgirl (hello by the way) - Ros conceived second time on a natural iui with donor sperm cycle at London WOmens Clinic. She had a slightly raised FSH. However, 2nd time around her first natural cycle was cancelled as she didn't ovulate, then she did 2 cycles with clomid before choosing to go straight to IVF. Although it is likely that she would have conceived eventually with diui we made a conscious choice to go for IVF. I think it really does depend on the clinic and your own reactions to the drugs etc. Its amazing how ttc can make your cycle go MAD. Ros had always had very regular periods and when we started the whole process she was 29 so really had age on her side. However, she had a high FSH even then so who knows why/how/when/what it all works!


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## magsandemma

Hi all

Well here I am at work again, so can have a quick catch up and reply, its really annoying not having the internet at home, well I lie we have internet access now, but no computer to hook up to it,     .  Well all went well with the house move, thank godness, just hope that we get the deposit back forn the old place now, but it is so good to have a garden to sit out in!!

Evelet    -  I was just looking at your post to alsion about peircings, I still havent taken out my belly button on yet, midwife has advised me that I should get a retainer soon tho,   , think if I dont take it out soon, it may pop out itself tho!  Hope you are keeping well.

Gina  -  As you can see move went well, I keep walking into the spare bedroom, thinking that in a few months it will be full of nice nursery furniture, its such a lovely feeling thinking that by xmas we will have a baby in there, makes me smile everytime I walk in there thinking about it!!  Yeah we decided it was better to move before bump came along as our flat was way too small.  As for the meet we too would be happy to meet up anyway, so long as we have some notice to book it off work,    .

Alison  -  Hope your hip pains start to improve I had them very early and then they dissappeared from about 10wks, but now they are back with a vengance, think I may have to speak to the midwife as she said if it started again I would need to see the physio, but hope it starts to ease.  How are you feeling otherwise tho?  Hope everything is going well!!

Rach  -  Goodness seems like time is flying by, you musnt have long to go now, was just laughing about the peircing bits, I still have belly button in, getting a retainer this week, but I didnt even think about my tongue stud, it never crossed my mind that I should take it out,    .  I bet is so exciting now that you have got nearly everything, I cant wait to start buying stuff, I have resisted with great difficulty as we wanted to wait until next scan, which is at 22wks, hoping to find out what we are having, even tho we both reckon its a boy.  Hope you SPD is improving!!

Terri  -  How is the 2ww treating you?  Hope you are doing ok?  When is test day? Lots of          .

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all doing well.    Well we have appt with consultant next week, I think the midwife said it was because of my hypothyroidism, as need to keep a close eye on it now, then we have scan the week after.  Its all go, cos then Emma has to come into hospital on the 3rd August to have her gallbladder whipped out, but thats better than our numerous A&E trips for morphine,     .
Well I must go and do some work really, will try to catch up again before I fin at 8   .

Love Maggie xx

PS as anyone else had any really bad ankle swelling, my feet dont look like they belong to my legs by the end of the day, on Thursday Emma was worried when I got home as i was swollen like double the size up to my knees, it isnt pleasant, but as my job is 12.5hrs a day and mostly on my feet, not sure what I can do to improve it really, any ideas

Must must go and stop waffling, lol.


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## lucky2010

Hi *Mags*,

Can't help with any ankle swelling remedies as I ma lucky not to have suffered with that, even doing my 12.5hr shifts. In fact, I've had a carefree pregnancy all round apart from my hip pain.... very lucky. Glad the house move went OK, very exciting to have a room for the nursery!!! Hope your appt goes OK with the consultant and that Emma's cholecystectomy isn't too painful.

I'm so emotional today it is untrue. I am stuck as to what to do about going back to work. I feel like I 'should' go back. My plan was to finish with 2 weeks annual leave at 34 weeks and start mat leave at 36 weeks.... not to finish altogether at 27 weeks. My pain is bad but bearable and sore when i walk too much and I really don't know how I'll cope with 3x12.5 hr shifts/week but I REALLY want to go back to work and finish how I'd planned to. I really don't know why it matters to me so much. Julie wants me to stay off and 'take it easy' and said that anyone else would be glad not to have to go in. I just want to grin and bear it. I know it will hurt like hell but psychologically I need the stimulation of being at work for now, it's only 5 weeks. To make things worse I went to visit my Granny today who thinks that being off sick is the worst thing in the world, she said 'well it can't be that bad' at which point it was all I could do not to burst out crying 

Anyway, sorry for going on, just don't know what to do. Seeing doc on Monday and Osteopath on Thurs. Decision will have to be made by Mon... who knows?!

Hope everyone is doing OK and sorry again for moaning.

Rach x


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## ♥JJ1♥

Just popping in to say Hi to you all

Rach- So sorry to hear that the pain is a problem, even though you want to return to work.  I was interested as I'm also a senior nurse and run divisions of an acute Trust, and you should have an occ health assessment and also your line manager should do a local risk assessment on all pregnant women, not only to protect you and the pts but also because if you were injured and they hadn't the Trust would be liable for allowing you to work without assessment, this is law.  Manual handling adviser could also get involved and assess. Also anyone who has been off sick for 4 weeks or more should (in most Trusts) be referred to occ health and see them before returning to duties.  You can also always self referr to Occ Health.  

Occ health can recommend that your manager makes reasonable work place modifications so maybe alters your shift patterns, as a pregnant women you don't have to do nights either, although some staff say the nights are easier.   If long days are a problem then do 7 1/2 hour shifts, and if ward work (I presume you are in) is too heavy then could they move you to a clinic, or a more office based work- say doing a project for the ward manager/audit dept- it is all nursing.  Occ health can also do a phased return to work is you, so often they right and say 'we recommend 3 weeks of Mon, Wed and Fri- breaks every X hours' also if you shifts would be 3 long days you don't have to make the hours up the short days count.
Also have a look at the Agenda For Change Terms and Conditions section 15 is about mat leave and 15.44 is about sick before mat leave, as you can be 'forced' onto mat leave, and most people want all their time with the bubs.
It is worth looking into.  We had a nurse with SPD and they moved from general paeds to walk in centre (she was an A+E nurse to start with) as she could sit down for most of the shift.

It is so great to see your good news.  

my update: I'm on day 9 of stimming, so EC next week   I will make it to ET this time, although I only had 3 follies on last scan.  I changed clinics and have a rigorous regime- cetrotide injections, then an hour later bloods at 0730 every morning, then sometimes a scan- then a later morning/afternoon call to say what stimming drug they will use that day- to be honest I have been on puregon, even though they keep saying maybe Menorial today- then back to the clinic to get the drugs of the day- sometimes you get a call said inject more cetrotide now, or take puregon right now!- and then clexane injs in the evenings and sometime mpore bloods.  Plus a daily combination of dex, aspirin,clomid and viagra thrown in for extra measures.

Thanks so much for the recommendation on here of the hypnotherapy CD- it arrived and I fell asleep to it last night in bed- although it says it still works on the subconscious! I definitely felt calmer today, but maybe because it was because it was Sat as well! 



Best of Luck

L xx


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## duff

Oh Rach, sorry to hear you're in pain.  I can't really offer much advice, because I pull a sickie form work at the slightest sniffle, let alone something as dramatic as pregnant hips.

Alison - I've been sniggering since reading that your 'whole house smelled of fart" when Ju cooked you veg!  You've got to eat them now though!  Those twins are going to want farty veg goodness.

Mable - Oh, I really feel for you!  Here's to august being your time. 

Terri - good luck to you two!

JJ1 - viagra!   Blimey, what's that like?

Mags - my Godaughter had HUGE ankles everyday when she was pregnant (Baby Holly born on Friday!  ) which were only eased when she put her feet up. 

Candygirl - how funny that you mention 3 of your friends offering your sperm.  It's turned out a bit similar for us.  I was a bit miffed with the potential donor for going off to think some more, to be honest.  I mean, yes of course if he needs to think then he needs to think but I got a feeling it was going to drag on for ages.  Anyway, that afternoon I was out with a good pal of mine and mentioned it to him.  At which point he asked why I'd never asked him!  

Anyway, although he has kids already, that was over ten years ago so he offered to have a fertility test before we begin.  T and I have got completely excited about the whole thing and want to give it a go ASAP.  Has anyone used those home testing kits for sperm motility?  They look pretty good to me.  We're also a bit anxious to check all's well with him quickly so we can let the other fella know what we're up to without keeping him hanging on.  

Welcome Pipgirl!

Oh, and yes please a meet up would be great.  I can't really offer T and my one bedroom flat as a location but we'll happily travel to wherever.  

Love to all,
J X


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Duff - Great to hear that you have so many potential donors, I found when I expressed my desire to conceive there were offers (all from gay men) and I chose mine not only for his personailty and physical characteristics (similar to mine) and parenting involvement attitude - as some guys were more into co-parenting than donating or not from UK, and I worried about potential long distance contact etc.  

I would highly recommend a sperm analysis at a clinic or through his GP, as we know 3-40% of men have sperm issues - I 'wasted' months of home insems that never would have got me pregnant, as we need ICSI when we discovered when we to the clinic and has sperm analysis - but as I see it we started on this journey together and the reason why we started on it and I chose him remain the same, just need a different approach to get the end result.

A sperm analysis is about 90 pounds at a clinic, but GP's can do them for free. All he would have to say is he has been TTC and nothing has happened and so he wanted to rule out any issues with sperm- doesn't have to say who with etc. Or at a clinic is totally confidential. We also both has GUM screens separately at the clinic and said it was because we were planning to conceive and they were fine.

I remember getting very excited about it and couldn't wait for the results and things to be in place and get going!That was in Sept 2005!! and still on the road!

Viagra- side effects I notice are hot flushes and headaches- I was a bit concerned there may be 'unwanted deisre effects', particualrly as my donors partner stays some days!! but nothing and to be honest they haven't help my lining thicken up so far!! I had bloods and scan today and may trigger tomorrow- I only have 3 follies but good size.  I think they would have swtiched me to IUI had sperm been higher count.  I  was at the clinic for about 7 hours today- and in the end my donor's partner took my bloods as there were 70 people in the queue in front of me! Back tomorrow for 0730 bloods and then scan later.

Good Luck to you all
L xx


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## lucky2010

Hi duff, our donor used a home sperm motility/count kit and got the best results.... It was obviously telling the truth! It worked for us but i guess if we hadn't been so lucky with our ttc we would have got a test done at the docs after a few months. Good news about the donor situ though.... Good luck.
Jj, hope appt goes ok tomorrow am.... Fingers crossed for you.
Hi to everyone else, rach x


----------



## duff

Oh Rach this is good to know.  I'll buy a test tomorrow.


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## TerriWW

Hi everyone

Everything still ok with us - no AF but I don't think that would arrive whilst ju is taking gestone (progesterone) would it? Testing on friday - but the thought of a negative is almost unbearable so fingers crossed.

Maggie - my feet were huge! I think I've mentioned before that they looked like Frodo's feet on lord of the rings. Elevate them as much as you can is all I can suggest.

Hope everyone else is doing well


Terri


----------



## candygirl

*Rach * - My pain started with pain in both buttocks at about 8 weeks (but only after doing a lot of walking). Over the last 3-4 weeks it has moved round to the pubic bone, and now I'm also getting pain in my hips if I lie on my side for too long (so yes, I wake up in the night and have to turn over  ). I saw the obstetrician this morning and she said that they sometimes end up inducing early for SPD, any time after 37 weeks! That shocked me though, as I'm definitely not ready for the baby to come in only 4 weeks time. Mind you, if the pain keeps getting worse, then I might want it to come early.

Just to say also that Human Resources tried to force me into maternity leave already, but my employer's policy is that they can't do that till 36 weeks (great that I knew more about the policy than HR did - dread to think what would have happened if I hadn't already read up on it), so I'm only going a week earlier than I'd planned in the end.

*Maggie * - My feet have been huge since about 20 weeks, and I've forgotten what having ankles is like. Such a shame, because I bought a couple of very nice maternity skirts when I first needed maternity clothes, and I can't wear them because my feet are so horrid...

*Duff * - what good news that you've found another donor. Good luck with it.

*JJ1 * - good luck for EC

Hi to everyone else.

Candy x


----------



## lucky2010

Hi *Candy*, I've just been to the docs who has signed me off for another 2 weeks. I called my boss who said I can either be on sick leave till my AL 2 weeks before i go on mat leave or be off sick till I'm due to start on mat leave and have the annual leave at the end (more time off with the baby... I think so!!!). I just need to find out how much full pay sick leave I'm entitled to. My obstetric physio said it wasn't policy in my hospital to induce early and that I'd just have to think about what position to give birth in! OMG you might have a baby in 4 weeks!!!!

Duff my donor bought the sperm motility test off this site:
http://***************************/acatalog/FertilityScore.html

as I say it worked for him/us... good luck!

JJ, good luck for EC

Love Rachx


----------



## pem

Hi to everyone!!

I am back from my joli holi's!! Not bronzed and beautiful but we had a fantastic time, Ireland was as usual fabulous and the weather was great most of the time!! Feels amazing to have been 'married' (civil partnered sounds weird!!!!) for a year and I had my 32nd birthday last week. Have drank too much and eaten too much, so have to get back on my healthy eating regime!!

Have been reading through all the posts, wow, such activity, no doubt it will take me ages to catch up with everybody, so if i miss anyone out, i am sorry.. it will not be purposeful..just dosey!!

Also been reading my last posts and realised that my last post sounded a bit odd..wasn't meant to be like that at all, i was trying to say that I have never really been involved with any kind of group or anything, i am in my first and only relationship with a woman and am not particularly secure (or any good at for that matter) in discussions about that kind of stuff. I am a love everyone kind of girl, i guess a bit simple in my way of life ( we are all like that from Stoke you know...hehehehehehehe!!!) it is only through being on this forum and reading the discussions taking place on here that I have come to understand a little more about what others experience and I value that tremendously. So If my big foot ( well actually, quite a small foot in reality!!) in it comments have upset anyone, i am really sorry!! You guys on here have been a fantastic source of support and help to me over the last six months, not sure how i would have got through it all without you, i can only hope i can offer the same support to everyone else!!

Anyway, there is so many people here posting now, it's great, loads more brains to pick!!!

*Rach* You poor poor thing, Its horrible for you to be in so much pain. Hope you can sort out things with work so you get paid what you deserve and get the optimum time off with bubba when he arrives!!

*Candy* You too.. sending you pain relieving    for your butt, bones, hips and poor swollen feet.... ooh and I would get them feet out..doesn't matter what people think!!! Not sure my ankles are that great right now and I'm not pregnant   

*Terri* Good luck for friday, lots of   to you for a  !!

*Duff* Great to see you posting again and fab that you have found a donor, they seem to pop up when you least expect them..that happened to us, Dp was talking to him about what we were doing and he was like ' i would really love to do it' .We were really excited too, couldn't believe it!! We were considering a home fertility test, but Like Rach thought we would see if anything happened first..we will keep trying and if nothing happens again then i guess we will be going down that route. Good luck with it all, i really enjoyed all the discussions with our donor, he is a fantastic guy .. hope all goes well for you and DP!!   

*JJ1* - Loads of    and   for EC and ET next week, will be thinking of you!!

*Maggie* Another poor lady with swollen feet, you guys make pregnancy sound so appealing   . Bet you are really excited about the nursery!!! Glad you had a good house move, garden sounds lovely!!

*Pipgirl* We had clinic IUI a couple of years and were told we had to have 3 cycles of natural before they would start using drugs. we weren;t succesful on any of our tryys with IUI anyway!! Good luck with it and welcome!!

*Alison* Hope you pain is getting better and not worse... your desciption of 'farty' veg has me laughing a lot. Me and DP are always moaning cus the upstairs of our house always smells farty after i have cooked veg ( which unfortunately is most nights!!), so i guess our little house always smells bad!! Well thats my excuse anyway!!

*Nickster* Sorry for your BFN, Good luck for the next round   

*Mable* - how truly, completely and unbelievably crap for you, I hope everything works out for you one way or another...    for this round of downregging and stimming !! We may well be cycle buddies after all, i am waiting patiently for AF to arrive again!! If we do have a meet up you can leave your scissors at home..my DP is always trying to get me to let her give me a number 2 with the clippers..for a laugh she says!! I don't think so! I think i would be better off with your monk cut!!

*Gina* Ooh, the evil third trimester, again sending you loads of    for all your aches, pains and bits and bobs!!! No glucose...does that mean no chocolate, no sweeties, etc etc etc     Poor you, all them aches and pains and to top it all no Green and Blacks!! Really hope it doen't work out that way for you!!

*Eve and Ros* - Good news on the scan, another healthy baby on the board!!

Sorry again if i have missed anyone!!

Well, this is a mammoth post, i am waiting for AF, she's due in 4ish days!! So i wil be back at it again very soon, looking forward to it in one way, nervous about it, feel funny about it cus of the little bean..sure it will all be ok!! I monitored my last cycle, didn;t get a convincing OPK but did get the ewcm as usual and the funny pains etc etc, so hopefully my body is not playing sily b*****s!!

On a lighter note me and DP are to become the proud owners of three hens in a few weeks!!!    We are building an area in the garden and have ordered a henhouse/run and hens!!! It will be fresh eggs all round soon, We are already worried about Mr Fox though!! Anybody else ever had hens..any advice welcomed!!!

Love to everyone!!

ema


----------



## evelet

haven't got time to post properly but just wanted to say how impressed i am with your hens Pem! Wow! I look forward to regular chicken updates.


----------



## Alison0702

Hi everyone

Hey *Emma* so glad you had a great time in Ireland and happy anniversary. Thats a lovely photo of you and your Mrs. It is you on the lest isnt it. Lovely happy smiles! Our house smells of fart a lot these days too, it doesnt help that the fan on the oven goes up to the bathroom, so when I am lying in bed, its all I can smell-and its not me! 

*Duff* - Great news on the donor front. As Emma said, they pop up when u least expect it  Hope you and T are well. 

*Terri* I think the 2nd week is pure torture, and I am really hopeing in flies by for you both with a fabukous result at the end of it.     

*Rach* Dont worry about work, they'll manage without you and the main thing is that you rest and do as your told. Oh god Im sounding like my mother 

Hi to everyone else

Had another scan today (paid for £95) but its put my mind at rest.
Have had a worrying weekend, worrying about worrying, and I was sure my stomach had gone down. So, here's me lying on the bed analysing it, and Ju came over and said "no it's definetely a different kind of fat!  Ha ha ha.....I did laugh a lot!


----------



## duff

I know it's greedy, but if we were allowed more than one thread, I'd like one for dogs, cats and Pem's chickens.


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

There is a chicken thread so they must be popular!! http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=25633.0
Hope you are all well. I triggered this evening at 2130- so EC 0700 Thurs, my 3 follies, my lining is very thin still- had acupuncture, still on viagra and my acu gave me some chinese herbs as well.

L xx


----------



## duff

How funny that there's is already a chicken thread!  

Good luck with it all JJ1!


----------



## Spangley

Hello girls - I thought I'd just drop in to report that all is not lost in Spangley Towers following sad times earlier in the year. We're starting the adoption process and have had various meetings with different social workers to look into which agency we make our application to as it's such a long and involved thing to embark on we want to make sure we get on with the agency and the people etc and they all have slightly different policies it seems.

We also had a fab holiday in the Maldives in April, got married in May and I've just got a new much better paid job - yippee! So lots going on

Lovely to catch up on the news on here although sorry that I can't do personals.

Love and luck to all


----------



## lucky2010

Hey Spangley,

Good to hear from you and to hear all your news.... what a lot is going on!!! Congratulations on your CP and congrats on getting your new job. You sound like you're doing the sensible thing with seeing which adoption agency best suits your needs. You must let us know how you're getting on.... best of luck and thinking of you.

Has anyone got any tips for getting rings off fingers? My wedding ring is stuck on a very swollen finger. I have tried all our ICU tricks and none have worked (or are too painful) and think I'm going to have to resort to going to A&E to get it cut off  

Hi to everyone else. and good luck for those on 2ww.... looking forward to more BFP's

Love Rach xxxx


----------



## TerriWW

Hello

Looks like BFN for us. Due to test tomorrow morning but ju just started to bleed this pm so she did a test and it's negative. Bleeding and a negative HPT is pretty final I'd say. Hugely disappointing especially as not expecting the news until tomorrow. 

Will do the next round asap - sept time I think by the time the necessary whole cycle has passed and then waiting until day 21 to start.

Hope everyone else ok 

Terri


----------



## Alison0702

Oh no *Terri and Ju*, I am so sorry that it hasnt worked out this time  Hope you are both ok. Sending lots of hugs


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Terri- So sorry to see your news  it is so disappointing thinking of you both.

Thanks for your pm's and good wishes. I had EC this morning, my donor and I went to the clinic, I had 3 follicles on scan but in fact I had 4 eggs retrieved, so there was a miracle one lurking there somewhere. He did his donation while I was asleep, and then I we were back home within in a few hours. My lining was 5.6 mm so even though it's thin I am still hopeful. 
So we're patiently waiting for the call tomorrow to see how they are doing!! . They said maybe ET on Sun or Tues- I would have thought Sat but they know best and I have to see if they fertilise first, as I have been abandoned at this stage before.  My donor's partner has been an angel throughout this, and  is looking after me- but off injection /clexane duties for a day!  I feel fine just a bit of bloating/bleeding but no pain.

IVF and TTC /assisted reproduction is a surreal experience at times and there are some 'odd' things, like people comparing their bruised stomachs and injection sites in the waiting rooms that you would never do else where, discussing intimate things with each other, people injecting and taking blood in bathrooms and toilets when the clinic say do this injection now- even in the open clinic admin areas with people paying bills amongst them.  The poor men that have to go through the stresses of performing on cue and carrying their specimen pot in the bags around the clinic- although my donor had his partner giving him encouraging words on the phone  today apparently! There is no such thing as privacy and dignity!!! Today there was a woman there with her husband going for EC, and only the day before she'd been sitting next to me and my donor's partner in the scan queue reading her book 'The incomplete husband'!! I felt sorry for him today when I saw them there together- no pressure on him then, and I sincerely hope she left her book at home! Another woman next to me in recovery and wanted a magazine to read when she came round - I thought if she was alert enough to be reading 'Hello' she should be out!

Love and best wishes to you all


L xx


----------



## starrysky

Hi everone


Hello Spangly have messaged you. Lovely to hear your news!!!!!

Terri and Ju, sorry to hear, best of luck for next cycle. My DP is about to begin the process again so we may be on the next 2WW with you!!  She is doing DIUI. 

Good luck L, hope you are not too sore. 

Alison, I was always thinking my bump was getting smaller!!

Rach, try not to worry about giving up work if you need to. I went on annual leave on week 10 of my pregnancy and didn't get back till this week, fifteen months later!. I half expected there to be  a mouldy coffee (or herbal tea it was at that time) and a rotten apple in my drawer!!!  I left files unwritten, calls not made, work not finished and I worried a lot about it at the time but now that I have gone back I see that everything just carried on without me and that I neednt have worried. 

Would love to hear if any of you are having any treatment on the nhs so I can pass the word on to our friends that are at the beginning of the process!!


Love and babydust to all. 



Heather x


----------



## Mable

Hi, 
Just zooming on with a little boy pulling my hand away from the computerto say sorry to Terri for your news- very difficult when it doesn't work, emotionally, physically, financially,...gutting.

Will come back at the weekend when I can get away-
Mable


----------



## pem

Hi everyone!!

Terri - Sorry to hear your bad news, hope the next cycle brings better results for you both.

JJ1 - Good luck for tomorrow, will be keeping fingers crossed for you     .

Rach - Any luck in getting that ring off your finger yet?

Alison - Glad your scan went well, bet your two little beanies look lovely in there, sending you lots of    for your 'different kind of fat' tummy!!! It will be seriously big soon!!!

Spangley - All the luck in the world for the adoption process, you will have to keep us updated, we have some freinds who are thinking about adopting, have you been watching the adoption programmes on the Beeb this week?? Congrats on the CP !!

Duff and Evelet - We get our 'girls' tomorrow!!! Can't wait to be a chicken keeper!!! Been fencing in an area of the garden all week, worried about Mr Fox, dreamt about mad chickens running away from me last night...will let you know how we go on with our new feathered freinds!!

Still awaiting the arrival of AF, she never arrives when you want her to ..... 

Love to everyone!!

Emma x


----------



## duff

Oh Terri and Ju, I'm so sorry to hear it hasn't worked this time.  

Spangley - excellent to hear all your exciting news!  I hope you'll keep us posted.

JJ1 - wow!  an extra secret egg!  Oh best of luck for the fertilisation and ET.  

Rach - what happened about the ring?  did you ever get it off?  

Emma - On the farm where we keep our caravan in Kent (yes, I know we are codgers!) there is a lovely tame hen.  T has totally spoilt her, so she's always clucking around us for food.  I like the way hens do that sideways look.  well, I suppose they have to because their eyes are on the sides of their heads, but it looks really comic.

We're very excited because our friend's sperm passed the test so we're all set to start next cycle  .  It feels absolutely right doing it with him.  I'm going to have to tell the other fella though, which makes me feel like a bit of a cad!  It's a strange situation.  I suspect he will be relieved, to be honest.  I mean, he's had quite a lot of thinking time so far and hasn't got back to us.


----------



## pem

Duff, I am with you on the sideways look, i know exactly what you mean, they always look so curious, i will put a picture up of our Gingernut Rangers ( that is the name of the hens we are expecting !!!) when they arrive!! Fantastic news on the   . you can now join me with the cervix inspections and peeing on stick rigmarole!!!!


----------



## lucky2010

*Terri and Ju*, big hugs and condolences for your BFN. Thinking of you.

To all who enquired, ring still firmly on finger  hideous red swelling has gone down after I stopped trying to yank it off but it's still far too tight. I am going to try again later today... fingers crossed!

Yeah *Duff* that the sperm passed the test.... hope you're as lucky as we were!!

*Pem*, can't wait to see chicken pics!!

Had better go as Mum has announced she's coming for lunch and i have nothing in so must go to deli to get nice sandwiches.

Have a good weekend all x xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Duff- That is great news about the new donor, it is so important to go with your gut feelings I think.  When will you start it, I know when we decided I was so impatient and wanted to get going now!! Also the other man might be relieved to have the decision taken out of his hands now.

Terri and Ju - I hope that you are ok and having lots of TLC.

Spangley - My friend is a single woman and is going through the adoption process, she thought being single would be a problem as opposed to having a partner, but it has been fine and in fact  she is going to panel in Sept so we are all excited about. She also thought that she would have an older child, but in fact now they have said a baby/toddler could be a possiblity, and as she is black/mixed race and the Borough where she lives is very diverse so are the children for adoption.

The clinic called and out of my 4 eggs 3 were mature, and 2 out of 3 of them fertilized and they ICSI'd the immature one (the miracle bonus one)  too and that has fertilized as well - so I currently have 3 embryos doing their thing- and they are hoping for ET on Sun- so delighted and better than my wildest dreams and will call me tomorrow with an update tomorrow afternoon.  I told them to look after them for me, and can't wait to have them back safely on baord.
Have a great weekend - enjoy the chickens!!  

When I was a child and lived abroad someone gave my father a white hen as a gift from an employee (I think we were meant to eat her) but Clarissa became a family pet, she was funny.

L xx


----------



## snagglepat

Hi folks,

*Terri*, I'm so sorry to hear your news. You must be gutted. Sending tons of positive thoughts to you and the very best of wishes for next cycle. Good on you for being positive enough to look forward to it already.

*Spangley*, lovely, lovely, lovely to hear from you and to hear you're starting the adoption process. We have two fabulous adopted nephews and have seen BIL and wife go through the whole process. It was a real rollercoaster for them - and they moved on to it after IVF too. The first child they were matched with came along within a month of them being approved, but the second they waited 10 months for, which they found quite tough. It's an amazing journey though. I really do wish you all the best with it. 

*JJ1* - woo hoo! You must be so pleased to have three little embies! That's great.  I'm keeping everything crossed that they all tick along perfectly to the weekend.

*RachJulie*, the only thing I can suggest to try and reduce the swelling in your finger so you can get your ring off is to get your hand really cold. Maybe hold a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel for a bit. Then use oil to make your fingers as slippy as possible and try that way. You may well have tried both of those options though. I wish you luck with it though, the thought of having to get it cut ff must be horrible. I'm so glad I removed mine so early on, although I've missed it horribly. Let us know how you get on.

*Duff* - how fantastically exciting! I'm so pleased all is well with your donor and you're raring to go. You know how I am with instincts and gut feelings - if it feels right then there must be something very right about it. I have such a good feeling about you guys going this route and being able to keep things low key whilst being able to pursue other dreams at the same time. I really do think it makes a difference.

*Pem*, I'm all excited for you about the arrival of the Gingernut Rangers (love the name). I grew up with chickens running riot in the garden and loved it. I even had a pet duck at one point too. There's nothing better than going out in the morning and collecting an egg so fresh it's still warm and cooking it for breakfast. My tummy is grumbling just thinking about it. We have a chicken house here as we were planning to get some a year or two back. Our neighbour made a big fuss though so we didn't but we will as soon as we can once we move. Rae plans to use the hens as organic pest control in her cider orchard (assuming we can get enough land to plant one in our future dream home). I plan to eat lots of eggs. 

*Alison*, so glad to hear all is going well. It won't be long until your 'different sort of fat' looks like a proper preggy bump and hopefully that will help put your mind at rest. We were shopping in Mothercare earlier and I was admiring some of the very funky twin buggies that exist and thinking of you guys. I can't help you on the piercing front - all mine are above the neck and don't seem to be classed as an issue in pregnancy. As for the hip/bum pain it sounds a bit like what I had. Fortunately in my case it hasn't got any worse and often disappears - it's aggravated by standing/sitting/lying in certain positions that I've now learned to avoid which helps. So it's not necessarily a sign that you're heading into debilitating SPD territory, although it can, as others have experienced, be a precursor to it to.

All is well here. We had a midwife appointment today and although I look and feel huge, like Rach I'm not that bad, just one week bigger than my dates and still within normal range. (I was expecting it to be a month as people random strangers keep asking me when I'm due and then seem all shocked when I say I have a full three months to go). Our baby seems to have settled in one position in the last week or so as I'm mostly getting kicks in my ribs on my right and when the midwife had a feel she said she was pretty sure that the head was in my pelvis and the baby was lying to my front right, so that all fits. 
My feet are still huge and are now growing out of the shoes I bought that are 2 sizes up from my normal size. I'm at least learning to live with it now, even if I do hobble more than I used to.

We've also been out shopping, well window shopping. Thanks to today's visit to Mothercare we now know what car seat we're going for but we'll be buying it online as it's much cheaper. (www.kiddicare.com was recommended to me by a client and its fab.) I only have six weeks left before I stop work and we've decided to try and at least have everything we need bought by then so we can get it all sorted and we're prepared in case the podlet comes early (I was born at 36 weeks so I have that as a minor concern). It's all coming round surprisingly quickly now. I still struggle to believe it's happening sometimes.

Sending best wishes to everyone,

Gina. x


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## lucky2010

Hi *Gina*,

Good to hear from you. was going to pm you as had wondered where you were. Also try http://www.glasgowpramcentre.co.uk/shop/index.php for cheap baby stuff. they sell all the leading brands and have an offer that if you find product cheaper elsewhere they'll beat the price. Also free postage if you spend over £49.99 (which I'm sure you will!). Your bump looks fab!!! I am too scared to put a pic of mine up as I have my top lifted up on all of them!!! We have been very organised and I'm so glad as i really don't feel up to shopping now. We just have our cot to arrive from a friend and need to get another changing mat. I'm unsure about the whole breast pump thing.... very unknown territory!!! but I need to get one so I can express for Julie to do some of the feeds. Glad all is well with the Midwife and that you're ok... not too long to go now!!!

*JJ*, good luck for Sun, I'm sending very fertile vibes to your little embies!!!

hi to all,

Rach xx


----------



## snagglepat

Ooh *Rach*, thanks for the link. The one I mentioned also has the main brands, does free delivery and the 'we'll beat any other price' thing - maybe I could play them off against each other...  I've just checked - your one does the car seat and base that we want for £5 cheaper than the one I mentioned. Yey! Thank you! 

As for breast pumps, some of my clients have found it easier to opt for an electric rather than a hand pump as you sometimes have to pump for some time to get a reasonable amount and this can get very tiring. However, it might also be worth waiting to see how your flow is once your milk has come in as I've also had clients who only had to hand express very gently to literally have it pouring out in copious amounts. Many NCT branches have pumps that you can hire which it might be worth trying so you can get a sense for what might work for you. I have an Avent Isis hand pump that I bought cheaply from ebay. I figured that would do to get us started and I could see where we went from there, but Digger got hold of it and chewed it up so we're pump-less again. Although the idea of having Julie play a part is wonderful (and I really want Rae to do so too, as does she) I also know some women who just haven't got on with expressing at all, and some babies who won't accept anything other than the breast, so it really is an unknown quantity at this stage. I think that's why I opted for a cheap hand pump initially so I could try it at very little cost and then take it from there. Do let us know what you do though, and how you find it.

Hehehe, most of my bump pics are rather more revealing than that one too - I'm collecting a lovely serious of naked ones as I get bigger, but we're not allowed to post nude pics here so I'll have to keep those to myself.  Go on, take a clothed bump pic of you to share.  You know you want to....

Big hugs,

Gina


----------



## duff

Gina - T and I are helpfully sniggering at Digger chewing up a breast pump!  perhaps it's a bit of sibling rivalry going on.  

JJ1 - I am rooting for you so much, you know!  Come on embryos!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I love all your bump photos!

I am all set for ET, one of my embryos stopped diving today but the other 2 (including the little one) are dividing well so they are pleased with them, and so are we.  My friend was going to come with me for ET, but now my donor and his partner want to come, so we're going instead - I have booked acupuncture for 0845 and then afterwards, also have to have a blood test beforehand- progesterone. The boys have strict instructions of no aftershave/scented hair products/deo  etc which will be interesting to see!

Have a good weekend and thanks to you all for the  

L xx


----------



## Pilchardcat

......think you may all like this 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=398.0

Amanda  x

*please IM me if you feel anything needs changing/amending or adding  thanks x


----------



## TerriWW

HI everyone

Thanks for you kind messages. Had quite a 'down' weekend. But picking ourselves up now. Ju was gutted - and so was I but I was trying not to be. We've also got Angus to think of so I needed to be chirpy for him.

*JJ1 * - got my fingers crossed for you 

Terri


----------



## irisbea

hi all, know i havent posted for a while but you wouldnt believe what weve been through.

a routine 20 week scn on 30 july showed our beloved baby had died. Nadine had to be induced and vega was born on 2 august. we held her and told her how much we had loved her. We have buried her in a woodland burial place in cornwall.

Whilst in hospital with Nadine i found out that the breast lump all tests had shown as benign had subsequently been found to be cancer. im having a mastectomy on 7 sept and am frantically trying to find any ways of storing some embryos before Istart treatment, The cancer is strongly hormone sensitive  so stimulation to produce eggs could affect my survival ive seen lots of drs in the past weeks all with different advice and im having surgery for my endometriosis next week to keep my options open, but im not going to jeopardise my survival.

if anyone knows anything about hormone sensitive cancer and fertility tx please let me know.

We have lost and are losing so much, the grief is overwhelming


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Irisbea-  I cannot say how sorry I am to hear of the awful time you have both being going through, and the loss of your baby girl. I don't know about hormone sensitive cancers but maybe some of the FF's on the cancer thread might be able to help you.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=115.0 Places like Macmillan Cancer Support, Cancerbackup might be able to help as they all have pt info phonelines.

Are you planning to store eggs or embryos- is your friends sperm out of quarantine now? Thinking about you and hope and pryaing that you are ok with your operation on 7 Sept.

Take care of yourselves 
much love L xx


----------



## Alison0702

Oh *Irisbea* I am so so sad for you both. So sorry to read your post about your awful loss. Sending you and Nadine a huge hug - I am thinking of you both.  I know of someone who got breast cancer after giving birth to her daughter and was told it was to do with the hormones of pregnancy. She had her chemo and is fine now, but has been told she cannot carry any more children. I dont know any more though. Be kind to yourselves, and take care of each other Lots of Love Alison & Ju xxxxxx


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## Mable

Oh my goodness, how absolutely terrible. Cannot think what to say, am in shock, as you must have been. 
Thinking of you both. Life seems so cruel when this happens.
Mable


----------



## duff

Oh Irisbea, I'm so, so sorry.  My thoughts are with you both.


----------



## ritzi

irisbea

so sorry to hear your devastating news on the loss of your baby girl 

also very sorry to hear news of the cancer. my BF was diagnosed with pelvic cancer (ovary and peritoneum) a while back while having fertility investigations - she desperately wanted to harvest eggs prior to chemo and so saw some top bods privately asap.....
the long and short of it was that there was no way to stimulate her ovaries to produce lots of eggs without huge risk of accelerating the cancer   (she had no option but to press on with chemo the following week due to her type of cancer)

natural IVF may be an option for you - but of course that depends where you are in your cycle if you wanted to do it before your op/treatment. If there is a wait until you ovulate the doctors may advise against waiting for your treatment depending on your actual diagnosis......If you ovulate regularly natural IVF is an option but it means there would be one or two eggs to harvest and therefore a lower chance of producing an embryo to then freeze, when you factor in the low thaw rate it looks like a long shot really  but an option if someone would take a chance on you 

i hope this is helpful.....

ritz.


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## starrysky

Irisbea and Nadine

I am so sorry to hear what has happened. My thoughts are with you both, and I am thinking of baby Vega, that is a beutiful name.

Sending you a huge hug and     for your surgery and treatment.

love

Heather


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## Tonia2

Oh Irisbea & Nadine! What dreadful things have happened! I'm so so sorry to hear what you're both going through. I feel stunned that you have to go through so much all at once.   

I agree, Vega is a beautiful name. What a wonderful place to put her at rest. 

Thanks for letting us know. Our thoughts are with you. Keep us all updated when you feel up to it.   
Love Tonia & Bron


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## pem

Irisbea and Nadine. I'm so so sorry for what you are having to go through. Wishing you success with your surgery and treatment. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Vega is a truly beautiful name.

 Emma.


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## TerriWW

I can't believe what I've just read - that is just so terrible to have two of the most devastating things that can happen to you, happen at the same time. I am so sorry and sending you any positive thoughts I can. 

I read in the news a month or two(??) ago that there has been successful research into taking immature eggs from the ovary and growing them to maturity in the lab and then fertilising them and the procedure was said to be specifically for people in your situation ie cancer treatment leading to infertility but unable to do ivf egg collection first due to the effect of the hormones on the cancer. I think it was in early stages of reasearch but I could swear the article said there had been some live births from this technique. I'm not sure where the treatment was being done but someone who is an expert in that field would - maybe you could be part of the research?

We go to midland fertility services and Dr Gillian lockwood is the founder there. I know she is very high up and an expert in the fertility field - she's always on the radio/news articles etc. Maybe you could ring and she might know more? I'm not sure which is your clinic but I know some are not so 'up to date' shall we say. The clinic is in aldrige and the number is 01922455911.

Wishing all the best

Terri


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## lucky2010

Irisbea and Nadine,

I am so sorry about the loss of your baby girl, I agree that Vega is a beautiful name. I don't know much about breast cancer as most of my experience is within lung cancer, but I agree with JJ that Cancer Bacup and Macmillan have huge amouts of patient information so they may be worth contacting.

I will be thinking of you lots over the coming weeks, especially on the 7th Sept.

Take care,

Rach x


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## snagglepat

Oh Irisbea and Nadine,

I can only echo what others have said, I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter and full of sympathy for what you're now going through with the cancer. To have to experience the two things at once couldn't be more cruel.

A good friend of mine is having a double mastectomy today at the age of 29, which will most likely be followed by chemo and she's had no option to try to collect any eggs beforehand. It's a terrible blow for anyone. My thoughts really are with you both.

With love and best wishes,

Gina.


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## duff

also Irisbea, my partner had hormone sensitive breast cancer two years ago and had a mascectomy.  We'd both recommend the Breast Cancer Care website for advice (they have a message board).  They have a special section for younger women too (I'm not sure how old you are) called the Lavender Trust.


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## woo_woo

OMG we can't believe what we've just read, we're both so sorry and send you lots of hugs.

it kinda makes our news a bit untimely really, but wanted to share with you all, we've been having IUI for whole of this year and had a BFP this morning, Lea's 4 weeks pregnant so fingers crossed for the 7 week scan

love to all 

Woo n Lea xxx


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## irisbea

Thanks for all your lovely comments and support, i had laproscopic surgery on tues for my endometriosis and am recovering now at home.

My mind keeps changing about what to do next but im going to try and not think about it for a while


congratulations woo woo


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## starrysky

hi irisbea and nadine

I'm glad that your lap. is done now, take it easy. I wanted to mention the sands website to you. There is lots of support there with respect to losing Vega. sending you  .

WooWoo and Lea - congratulations to you both, keep us posted.

heather


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## PaulaB

Irisbea and Nadine- I just wanted to say thinking of you both and stay strong.P x


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## kingy2004uk

Hi there everyone,

I am new to this forum and i just wanted to intoduce myself. My name is Hayley and i am the Partner/ wife of a beautiful woman, namely my Diane  , We have been together for 9 years and after just celebrating our civil partnership  , Diane caught pregnant  via DI with our first child      . She is now 15 weeks pregnant and we are the happiest pepole in the world, just like some of you. 

Pleased to meet you all


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## snagglepat

Welcome Hayley and Diane! Glad you found us, and welcome to the board. We conceived on our first attempt after our CP too. I wonder if we're going end up with children with some kind of high moral code as a result... 

Do feel free to join us on the pregnancy thread too. I look forward to keeping up with your progress. 

Best wishes,

Gina. x


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## Alison0702

Hi Hayley & Diane

Glad you have joined us  

Congrats on your pregnancy and your CP - you have been busy.    

Like Gina, I'm on the pregnancy thread, so come and join us

Bye for now
Alison


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## starrysky

Hi Hayley and Diane

Welcome! And Congratulations!!

Heather


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## pem

Hi there Hayley and Diane!!

Welcome and Congrats on your CP and that BFP!!!

I'm just on the pregnancy thread!! come and chat!!

Emma


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