# I want to share my eggs....any advice?



## funny_wonder (Jan 1, 2009)

Hiya,
          I'm pretty lost in the middle of the fertility minefield, hoping you guys can point me in the right direction.  We're a lesbian couple wanting to start a family.  I have no fertility problems that I'm aware of so it would theoretically be a simple matter of finding a sperm donor & having IUI.  However, I would also like to donate my eggs and I'd like to have a known donation with the option for any children to have contact with their biological parent in the future if they wanted to do that (although thats open to discussion and we definitely dont want a co-parenting arrangement).  I've been advised by one clinic that if I want to do egg sharing I'd have to go through IVF as opposed to simply IUI but thats fine with me.  The only thing holding us back is the cost of it.  We're financially stable and independent enough to start a family but at the minute we are still paying for my education (next step is a post grad) so adding treatment costs to that is just not possible.  We had intended to wait until we could afford it but my Dads illness has made us want to do it sooner rather than later because I would dearly love to have at least my first child while he is still here to enjoy it.  The thought of my Daddy never meeting my baby is just something I barely even have words for but its looking more and more probable.  I've no idea where to go from here so any suggestions would be appreciated.
                                                                                                          Jane


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Hi jane,

Lots of girls on here do egg sharing but i dont know any who donate to a couple they know and for the male partner to donate to them etc..

have you tried to egg share board?

Someone else may be along soon and have more info sorry i can be much help.

Em x


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Oh forgot to add if you do IVF egg share at most of the clinics in the UK your IVF cycle is free you still have to pay for sperm, any ICSI needed and if you go to blasts that also i think most of the girls on here pay about £1500 per cycle.. but the egg recipient is anon and so is the sperm donor until teh child is 18 years old


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Hi Jane,

We are currently mid cycle doing an egg sharing programme - it is true that to share eggs you must do IVF because with IUI they don't take the eggs out therefore can't give any to anyone else if you see what i mean. We are having treatment at the LWC because they are particularly lesbian friendly and have the biggest sperm bank, so far they have been ok - few issues but overall we are happy. They run egg sharing information evenings regularly which are quite informative or their website has a lot of info

I didn't take your post to mean that you wanted to receive sperm from the same couple you donated to but maybe i misinterpreted it? If you want to have sperm from a known donor you will need to find him (there are some websites you can meet people wishing to donate) and have his blood test sperm tests etc - then I believe you have to wait 6 months for a quarantine period and test him again to ensure no bugs etc! Then you can proceed - I believe the clinic charge a fee if you have the tests done through them although some GPs do them - they also charge about £240 to prepare the sperm for treatment.. if you want anonymous donor sperm you can go through the clinic - if they have a sperm bank or import it from overseas. 

Cost wise this has actually ended up costing us quite a bit although we save about £4000 by sharing we had to pay:

initial consultation £125
some tests we couldnt get done through gp about £240
hfea fee £104.50
sperm £850

if we need icsi it is a reduced cost for sharers but still £750 (which is always likely apparently due to frozen sperm) and if the embryos go to blastocyst (day 5 transfer) then that costs £500. 

It certainly isn't as free as it says on the tin but the chances of pregnancy are very good (our clinic is about 58%) so we decided it was more financially viable than having a few goes at IUI!

good luck with whatever you decide.


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Well said Amber... i had that in my mind but couldnt get it out in words


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

hehe it was Lynn!!


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## funny_wonder (Jan 1, 2009)

Thanks for the information   Thats the kind of scary figures that have been keeping me awake at night lol.  No idea how I'm going to manage that at all...Incidentally I had spoken to an individual at one clinic in Cyprus who said that receiving sperm from the couple I'd be donating the eggs to was a possibility but personally I dont mind if thats the situation of it's from a different donor- preferably known but given the complications with that I'd settle for an anonymous donor.


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## lmb15 (Jun 12, 2009)

jane - we've just done egg share in Nottingham at Nurture. Their success rates are 62% (national average is about 25-30%). Costs were as follows:

consultation fee £140
drugs £550
sperm £1500 if you buy 10 straws (enough for usually 5 ivf attempts) plus £350 for 10 year storage. Or  £650 (i think, not 100% sure) if you just want one lot.
the ivf itself is free and eggs are split 50/50.

We went for the batch of sperm because we want a few kids and want them to have the same biological "dad". 

Nurture's extremely lesbian friendly, we absolutely loved them. They also have open evening every month or so, where you can meet the people that work there and ask lots of questions. Open evenings are free.


There's also Leicester Assisted Conception Unit. They do egg share. The sperm's a bit cheaper and i think the drugs might be too, but not sure as didn't really look into them in much detail as their success rates were lower. I've since found out that this is because they take on a lot of difficult nhs patients referred from all over the place. So, success for someone like you would be higher than the quoted.



As for the LWC saying you need ICSI - to be honest that's a load of b*llocks. Good quality sperm that hasn't been diluted should defrost well. You really shouldn't need ICSI. The LWC seem to do ICSI on most people. I personally see that as another way of making yet more money. And having ICSI also increases the chances of genetic/chromosomal abnormalities by about 200-300%. Just something for you to think about. 

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

Lisa x


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Quote "As for the LWC saying you need ICSI - to be honest that's a load of b*llocks. Good quality sperm that hasn't been diluted should defrost well. You really shouldn't need ICSI. The LWC seem to do ICSI on most people. I personally see that as another way of making yet more money. And having ICSI also increases the chances of genetic/chromosomal abnormalities by about 200-300%. Just something for you to think about. "

Lisa thats interesting i didnt know that!!


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## lmb15 (Jun 12, 2009)

Em - yeah, i've not heard of other clinics routinely doing icsi with so called "normal" sperm samples (ie sperm from their own bank!). Unless they're saying that their bank has crap sperm??!!!! Some clinics are all about the money.....!!!    

Lisa x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

there are loads of women on this sight alone who would love donor eggs!!  they waiting lists in the uk are horrendously long.
im sure could make contact with a woman on FF in your area, if you wanted to know who the recipient was.
since being on FF i would consider doing ivf if we had a second baby, to donate eggs to a friend on ff.
so many women go over seas for donor eggs, leaving big questions about donors identity for their children, which i think is such a shame.
it also crossed my mind about donating eggs for sperm ..... why doesnt that happen?  is it an ethical mine field .... ?  it would end up with full genetic sibs living in two households ..... with diff parents.  interesting theoretically.
ax


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## funny_wonder (Jan 1, 2009)

thanks for all the info guys, I'll bear that in mind about ICSI, I didnt know that....


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