# LGBT Pg loss



## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello everybody

Well I'm sorry to be starting this thread but I wonder if there is a need for a thread where those of us that have unfortunately suffered the loss of a pregnancy can offer and receive support . Particularly as some of you might like to _only_ use this thread for a while and stay away from the others.

If you would like a list to commemorate your angels, I can add it to this post.

   

LL xxxxx


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

this is a lovely idea lottie


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)




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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

i don't really have an angel. just an almost pregnancy that never was. a BFP that, when i re-tested to satisfy my paranoid DP at 7 weeks pg, wasn't there. a stupid, cruel, chemical pregnancy.

i don't know whether it is because we are a year later and the weather is changing and bringing to mind all that happened a year ago. i don't know whether it is because my SIL is now pregnant when i thought with good reason we were all done with having children. i don't know whether it's because everywhere i look people seem to be either having a 3rd child or already have 3 children. i don't know whether it's because we have been getting rid of all our baby stuff recently or that bruno is talking and obsessed with 'bebbies'  or that, after easter, he's starting at nursery one morning a week and i can feel my last little chick, that part of my life, starting to slip away.

i know it's not because i feel unsatisfied with 2 children, or that my family doesn't feel complete, or that i'm not so incredibly grateful for what we've got. we could so easily be starting on my ttc journey now with terrible AMH and not a lot of hope. i feel lucky that we made that spur of the moment decision 6 years ago to stop saving for children and preparing for children, and instead actually get on with the having of children. i am forever grateful to DP for deciding that enough was enough with the groundwork. if we were starting out for our first now, it would be worth spending years and £££s on trying and we'd probably have got there in the end, got the baby we were meant to have in that particular parallel universe. it's just not a journey worth making for a 3rd child though. not when we have a family already. i certainly don't want to subject my body to another c-section which is what i'd have had and the danger that might have entailed.

it's just that i wanted 'that' one. the one that i thought i was having. the one that i felt i would have the minute we knew those embryos were good enough to freeze, the one i felt we would have even before we knew were pg with bruno. the one that would have been 4 months old now.


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## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

Big hugs (((((rosypie))))) 
and to Evelet too of course  

Just because you are grateful for your 2 lovely boys, doesn't stop a loss being a loss, and something to grieve for


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## pem (Jan 10, 2007)

Rosie - many many many   for you, it is such a loss, the loss of your baby to be....thinking of you.


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## starrysky (Dec 6, 2004)

Hi Ladylottie

I have been meaning to post on this thread for ages. I also think it would be a good thread to keep. When I look at who's who in the lgbt family it always strikes me and saddens me as to how much loss we have had over the years.

I remember so many of the joys of people getting pregnant and then the sadness and shock of them losing their babies. We have a lot of angels in our midst.. ....... and I think you are right about having somewhere in this section to post.

We have had our losses, the loss of one sac (empty or not we'll never know) which caused me to bleed in the pregnancy and I might like to write about that one day. 

Could it be added to the sticky posts so that it doesnt disappear.

The other thing is that we used to have a thread for birth/adoption stories and again I think that has slipped out of sight down the threads somewhere. I have been thinking of asking if that could be a sticky post too. 

Good luck everyone

Starrysky


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## Fairie (Sep 13, 2009)

I have two   ...possibly soon to be 3, as my hcg with this baby is hardly rising at all...I have to go to docs on Wednesday to see whats happening   Last 2 were both early losses too, at this point I dont think I'll ever be able to carry to full term! Havnt had any tests or anything because 'its common' in early pregnancy, doesnt mean I dont wana find out what's goin on in there!! Plus, my sister started ttc the same time as me, and has just had her baby, which is great because I now have another niece, but at the same time, I should be having my own in 2 months, and same day as OHs step-mum is due to give birth

A loss is a loss no matter how far along you were IMO, the amount of people who said 'at least you didnt see a heartbeat first; is ridiculous, Id have loved to see a heartbeat, it would have felt more real then, rather than having bfps then started to bleed out of the blue. Wth this baby, CB Digi isn't moving up the weeks, so I'm guessing this one will fail too. Been crampy all day, and have to go to OHs brothers 18th birthday tonight, whih isnt gona be much fun, since there's 4 other pregnant women going too, and no-one knows about me yet, so I can't even join in the chat! 

I'm just so mad right now


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Hi Fairie  

Have you had blood tests for your hcg or are you going on the cb digi alone - if it is this then you need to get some blood tests to see your exact numbers.

I hope very much that this is an ongoing pregnancy for you - we've just had our first chem preg and we're devastated - cant imagine going through this pain more than once. If this is what  you fear though ask your gp to refer you to the recurrent miscarriage clinic so you can have some tests run to see whats going on.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you

Love Lynn xx


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## Benetton (Jul 11, 2009)

Really sorry to hear of your loses ladies, fingers crossed for you next time. 

Fingers crossed for you too Fairie

  

Benett x


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## Alison0702 (Apr 7, 2006)

Lovely idea to have this thread...i'm reading this with tears running down my face and its such a horrible sad thing to go through.

I've come across a few people lately who raise their eyebrows when they were told someone had a m/c at 6 weeks as its "not really a baby is it"..well actually no, its not, but its the dreams of what that would have turned into..I just wanted to say I am thnking of everyone woh has gone through a pg loss..
Pinktink..So sorry about what your going through.. 

I have never suffered an early m/c so cant fully understand how you all feel but I have lost a baby at 24 weeks who I was lucky enough be with for 2 days, and hold after he had gone..you all never got that.
The pain for me is still so raw and completely undescribable. I am so lucky to have my 2 boys but god I hurt all the time for what should have been..

Right im now bawling my eyes out now    

Love to everyone xxxx


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## pem (Jan 10, 2007)

Alison  

and   to all our lost and loved LO's...


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Alison   Thank you for your kind words - it's still so hard for us - I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to have got to know your little man and then lose him   

Love to all xx


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## starrysky (Dec 6, 2004)

Alison      I'll always remember Alex, and I think of him often along with our friends daughter who would have been ten this year and our other friends daughter who would have been nearly two  - wish they were all here with us       

Starrysky


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## Alison0702 (Apr 7, 2006)

Starrysky  Thank you xx Had a very bad day today and was thinking about your lovely cards and presents u sent xxx Hope you and your lovely family are well.. 

Lynn I believe wine was invented for this kind of situation..and I take full advantage xx


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

alison - i think about alex often too. and i often think about you and mable and me, all starting ivf at the same time, how differently it turned out for each of us, and how much older christopher is than bruno when really they should be the same.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Alison  I can't believe how old Christopher is now, where doe the time go to!! I clearly remember your little ones being born, and now he's a big brother as well!!  Nothing will ever ease the loss of Alex. just wanted to send you a 

L x


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## mc2002 (Jan 6, 2010)

It's so sad to hear everyone's stories but it's comforting to know you're not the only one going through these things. We're currently at St Mary's recurrent miscarriage clinic and going for results on 2 June (DW has had three m/c in the last 13 months - a blighted ovum, one at 5.5 wks and one at 9wks after we'd seen a hearbeat at 7wks). 

The whole thing is so heartbreaking and we're both aware that time is not on our side (due to age and gynae issues). However, we're so lucky to have each other and all of the tragedy has brought us closer together  and stronger than ever. 

The few people that do know etc have all been really supportive but can't help feeling that some people don't seem to acknowledge that as the non-bio mum, I'm also grieving. Is it just me being over-sensitive or does anyone feel this too? x


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## Fairie (Sep 13, 2009)

3rd loss today  I cant do this anymore. HCG was 137 only last Wednesday at 5w4d, only 23 on Friday, and was due to go tomro for more to make sure they were still decreasing, but started bleeding quite heavily at 4am this morning. We havn't really had a chance to talk about it, OH had to go to work at 2pm and wont be home til 10pm. I'm having a break until July now to give my body a break, that's 3 failed pregnancies in 5 months now, it's too much. We might look into IUI, after I've asked the doctor for tests to see why it keeps happening


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## lucky2010 (Jan 10, 2006)

I'm so sorry Fairie. Big hug xxxx


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## Benetton (Jul 11, 2009)

REally sorry to hear the losses you ladies have suffered and I wish you all the best in future pregnancies and current ones.

Benett xxx


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## babylemonade (Feb 24, 2010)

Hi everyone, I'm so sorry for your losses. I miscarried on Sunday night, it was traumatic and my DP and I were in a state of shock that it all happened so quickly. I took the week off work and DP took Monday and yesterday. No one at work knows so I'll have to pretend to be sick and better by Monday.

We went to the EPU yesterday to confirm there is no tissue left. It wasn't easy, it's in the maternity unity and women are wandering around with their scan pictures, I felt numb. I was 10 1/2 weeks but the nurse said it was likely that it ended weeks ago. She said most 1st trimester mc happen around week 6 or 7. If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again then I'm going to pay for a scan at 8weeks.

I'm trying to focus on the future and what might be rather than on what could have been. DP and I are not CP yet so that's our next step, definitely before we try again and then she will be on the birth certificate straight away which will be a huge benefit rather than having to adopt.

You are all in my thoughts and I send you my very best wishes. Fingers crossed for all of us wishing for a baby. Hopefully 2011 will be the year I finally become a mum. xxx


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## Misspie (Feb 1, 2009)

Babylemonade, 

I'm truely sorry to hear about your recent loss, I wish you all the best of luck for you and DP on your future CP and loads of    for future pregnancies. 

Look after both you and DP, take time out for yourselves.

  

L
xx


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## pem (Jan 10, 2007)

Big   to all you girls.....

sBabylemonade - take as much time as you need from work.....it's important to take care of yourselves going through a mc...both physically and emotionally.. 

pem x


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## babylemonade (Feb 24, 2010)

Thanks Pem

I'm back at work this week. I'm keeping my diary light to try and ease myself back into it. I'm looking after myself and my DP. We are keeping our spirits up by arranging our CP for June. It got all booked up today. After that we will try again. I dream of the day that we take our baby to be registered. Keep your fingers crossed for us. 

Andrea x


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## pem (Jan 10, 2007)

I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you....it WILL happen even though it feels like it won't...and it's so tough and scary after mc.....hope your CP is fab....


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