# Thinking we might start trying again - any thoughts?



## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi,

DH2b and I have always wanted a large family and it took us over 3 years to have our beautiful little girl.  i am now 35 and I just don't feel that I have the luxury of waiting and giving a larger age gap between babies as it may take another 3 years or longer.

All my friends say wait at least 2 years as it is easier to manage but they get pregnant after 1 or 2 months so they can "plan" their families this way.  I don't have that choice so am thinking that to try sooner rather than later is the best bet?  Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions on this?

Thanks for reading ladies as always.

Karin

xxx


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## Bekie (Aug 23, 2004)

No advice for you Karin, i just wanted to wish you luck whatever you decide   Your a fab mum and there are ladies on here who have decided to start trying for baby number 2 (or more!!) when they have young babies still and cope fine!  As you say most of us dont have the luxury of planning our families in the same way as some women.  Its entirely up to you  

Give Emma a cuddle for me too, she is sooo gorgeous and has grown so much since i saw her!!

Bekie


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

Hi Hun

We had our lo's at similar times and dh and i just started trying again last month. In an ideal world we would have waited until M was over one but like you i just dont feel we have the luxury of waiting. Who knows when or if it will happen for us so we have just decided to bit the bullet and go for it and see what happens. I got my first bfn last month and I was so disapointed.

Good luck to you with whatever you decide xxxxxxxxxx


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

*Bekie* Hi hun... how are you? I think you're right... I can't "plan" as other women do so will watch and see. Emma sends you kisses!!!

*Jess* Max is gorgeous... our little ones over 6 months now can you believe it?! I was wondering about the BFNs... will I be as devastated as before I had Emma when I get BFN or AF arrives?! It's not something that I'm looking forward to but I do know that I would love another baby so this is what it takes.

Wishing you loads of luck

Karin

xxx


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## ~ Chux ~ (Apr 8, 2003)

Hi Karin,

I'm like you and always planned a big family so was concerned after having J that it would never happen for us again. We officially started ttc again when he was 4 months old, including me taking metformin again, and within 3/4 months I got a BFP.

I think it's very easy to say wait a particular length of time when you know (or at least assume) things will happen easily. When you don't it's a completely different ball game. However, a small age gap has it's advantages too - for starters (and most importantly!) your eldest will still be having day naps so you can put them to bed and crawl back in yourself.  Also they are young enough not to remember having been the only one although admittedly they don't really understand what is going on. If you wait a couple of years then you'll be just starting to get your life back whereas at the moment you still know what disturbed nights are so starting again wouldn't be such a shock to the system.

As I've said, there are advantages and disadvantages to both and neither can be said to be 'better', it's just what suits you. Remember also that the second child isn't such a shock to the system as your life is already child orientated so you don't have huge adjustments to make, they just have to 'fit in'.

Good luck!

Chux xx


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## Amee (Nov 14, 2005)

Hi Karin
I too have started ttc again...with my first bfn this week..  ...u mentioned about feelings when getting a bfn...well I was ok....bit upset, but it had taken so long to get a bfp....I just looked at my dd and she just made me smile....  

just go with the flow and do what u want....we were going to have icsi but then got a natural bfp first time round....going to be 36 soon so Im not waiting around this time.....just hope for a bfp soon.. .good luck and hope u get that bfp soon....

Ax


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Thank you ladies for all your thoughts... We are will be starting this month on CD 7 right now... part of me is absolutley dreading the TTC ups and downs again - I would get progressivly more hysterical with every BFN or AF - but am hoping this time that a) I have my very beautiful daughter to make me smile and b)I'll be too busy to get to hung up on it?  

Wishing you all loads of   and hoping you get your BFPs very soon.    

Hugs

Karin

xxx


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

That is wonderful news!!! Keep us up to date. My friend just called to say she is expecting no 2 in May - for the first time in a long time i felt that old ache in my tum and the high pitched "congratulations im thrilled for you" came out. I felt so weird again and thought all that would go now I have M. Mental eh! Perhaps we can keep eachother company on our new journey!! xxx  Good luck xx


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

*Jess* I really understand where you are coming from. A few of my friends are "planning" their next babies or have announced their happy news and I have felt the return of the twist in my gut and the forced congratulations or discussion about the best age gap and inside I'm screaming "oh to have the luxury of planning!!!!!!!" I really thought all that would pass with my miracle girl but it has reared its ugly head again in a slightly different form. But I would love to have you as company through this often crazy journey and wish you all the luck in the world.   

Karin

xxx


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

You sound just like me!! We are in it together chick!!! We will get brothers or sisters for our little miracles - WE WILL!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

That is what is so great about FF... I finally know I'm not crazy and alone for the thoughts that I have!!!    You never know our next little ones might due around the same time too!!!  Loads of    

Karin

xxx


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## ready4Family (May 14, 2004)

Hey karin,

We've been getting to know each other a bit in the waiting for another miracle thread but thougth I'd put my 2 cents in.  Dh and I thought the ideal age gap is 2.5 years (which is a very personal choice by the way..some want  a large gap, some want a small one, and some somwehere in the middle).  So we started our IF rollercoaster last March (ds turned 2 end of April).  Well we've gone though 4 attempts all BFNs and we probably won't be having our possible BFP unilt until March (by the time we get to EC/ET).  So even if that attempt works (please please!) then there will be 3.5 to 4 year gap).  So much for planning.  You just never know what's in store so if you're ready to start trying (keepign in mind that it'll still be 9 months from now at the earliest) then why not?

Jess, you should join the waiting for another miracle thread. There are lots of us on there trying again...and really lovely ladies.

Know how you both feel with other pregnancy announcements when it comes so easily for them.  Sending you both


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## KW33 (Apr 10, 2006)

Thanks *Ready4*, I think that's what's so hard about IF and hearing other "normal" mums discussing it. I too would have liked a 2.5 to 3 year gap but my age is now dictating that I don't leave it too long... my doctor too has said don't wait just keep trying... so on medical advice I am now using ov kits and see what happens!!!   

Karin

xxx


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## Caterina (Jan 3, 2005)

Good luck Ready4!

Planning sucks! We had a failed Medicated FET (2.5-3 months injections-again!) in April/May, when Fred was 8/9 months old, then,  MIRACLE (ha!) occcured when we found out, during a monitored cycle in prep for another ICSI that, with just Metformin, we were pregant with perfect identical twins. All was great. Despite weekly scans, God laughed at everything, and despite having a scan 4 days before and lovely heartbeats , we found out that both beautiful twins had died. 

Since we had to have the hideous ERPC I have been struggling and DH and I having difficulties with the grief. This was compounded when the poor guy had to sit me down and tell me on Friday that my new sister in law (married in Aug) got knocked up that month, and is due 3 weeks aHEAD OF OUR DUE DATE (oops) and everyone including my mum (bless her- terrified to tell me) knew from 4 weeks (yep, the arrogancy of the fertile-tole everyone when she p***** on a stick! And did she have any MC worries.........nope, appears not!). AND then my BF told me on Monday that she, too, was knocked up. I want to shoot myself for having to comfort her the month before when she was all "oooh, first month and hasn't happened"- her son is one  day younger that mine so asked her how long that had taken- 2 months (sob) and, what'dya know- 2 months this time too. Tragic thing is, I had SO guessed, but then she started blubbing and was all "oooh, after your MC, maybe I will too"....??!! SO, there I was comforting her! Mad. Oh and the fact she had 'not been able to been happy with her BFP because of my MC". Well, what did she want me to say?!


So, point being- Good luck in whatever you do.  Just keep your fingers crossed for whatever may happen.

I wish you loads of luck. Whatever will be will be "(and all that rubbish!)

Cat
x


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## Maarias (May 4, 2005)

Cat - wanted to send you a big hug  

It's sooo hard having to hear about baby news when we're all having to struggle to much.


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## Caterina (Jan 3, 2005)

Thanks Maarias.

THANK GOD you all get it!

Catxxx


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## ready4Family (May 14, 2004)

Cat, I am so sorry to hear about your m/c.  Cannot imagine how devastated you were.  IF and dealing with BFNs and m/c sure puts a strain on a marriage.  Dh and I are actually seeing a marriage counsellor because of it (4 BFNs in our case).  Also wanted to say I can totally sympathize with you in others getting pregnant around you, and it occurring so easily.  Dh's brother and wife recently told us they're expecting again (after only a few months of trying), and like you, they told us only a couple weeks before they told everyone else.  (That annoyed me since they knew all about our tx with our son...but they do not know we're been goign through it again).  Anyways, just wanted to say I'm really sorry as i know you're having a hard time and life just is so unfair sometimes. It would be nice to try naturally and have it only take a few months...and then not worry about the pregnancy staying.  Good luck to you.


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