# Not taking this negative very well



## ~*mRsHoPe*~ (Jan 25, 2006)

I know that everyone who gets a negative, feels the dispair the loss and the damn right depression of it all, but if I stop for five minutes I end up in floods of tears and it takes me an hour to get myself calmed down.
I have suffered quite badly in the past with depression and I am quite concerned that I am going down that route again.
I know a negative effects everyone and there is a grieving process that you have to go through, but last time I didnt feel like this by far I felt ok, I cried when I started bleeding and that was it, now I just cant seem to snap out of it, I just feel constantly so sad.
Is this normal, last time I had a lot of family problems that distracted me from my negative, and I certainly didnt cry like this.
sorry for such a negative post...
MrsH XX


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

Hi there

I just spotted your post and am so sorry for you BFN and sooooooooooo sorry that you are feeling so down.   It is good that you can cry, as letting your emotions out is important as keeping them in can hurt so much too. Each feeling you have is normal and you must give yourself time to feel strong again. It's a battle that we have to keep going through to get what we want, even though it hurts so much, it'll be worth it in the end. I really feel for you hun.

Look after yourself

Big hugs and kisses
Kay xxx


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## Happy Mummy (Sep 22, 2006)

Hi sweetie, 
it is normal to cry and feel sad. I had a BFN in october and it took me 2 month to get over it emmotionnally and physically. I think the 2 are related anyway. When we get a neg, not only do we feel devastated but we have to deal with period pain that remind us constantly that the treatment did not work and the pain of that period is bigger than normal period too. Also our hormones are everywhere, and there is no way it can be just a matter of a day or two of crying as even our body is telling us :I have to get over this. 
Crying helps releasing stuff. 
Why don't you have a nice glass of wine and maybe some chocolate, or nice music and make yourself cosy with a nice blanket on your sofa and watch something silly and funny on TV , I did that for 2 or 3 days non stop , would not answer phone, told DH I needed some ME time , I could not even let DH too close to me as I felt I needed to first get over this alone. Everybody is different. DH was fantastic and although he was sad too he pampered me and gave me some breathing space. After 3 days , although I was sad and my body was hurting, due to abdominal pain, bloatidness and colitis ( due to the drugs) , I felt able to go back to a more normal life. But I felt perfectly fine and ready to think about next treatment only after 2 months. So it takes time. 
I am sending you some bubbles ,
Take care
Future Mummy


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## sheena 1M (Oct 4, 2006)

Big Hugs from me. I was hospitalised in the past for clinical depression with acute anxiety, and like you Im wondering if im heading down that route again - it is so frightening isn't it.  It's not like just being sad or low.  Anyway, what gives me strength is that I recall at the height of my depression I couldn't even consider the idea of getting pregnant - I feared it, because I felt there was no way Id cope, even tho Id been wanting a child for so long.  Now although im having awful times with anxiety and some low times, Im more convinced it's just the hormones this time - because Im not avoiding getting pregnant.

Im dizzy at the moment and feel like Im sitting  onthat fence between 'normal' and 'weird' - Id hate to end up in that awful world of clinical depression again - and have no control of getting out of it.

Hope you are bearing up?

Sheena xx


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## Nicky1 ☺ ☺ (Jul 9, 2004)

MrsH Just want to send you a huge   Sorry to hear you got a -ve Hun 
I hope things brighten up again soon chick  

x x x


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Awww hunny...I'm so so sorry  

Look after yourself & DH...

Thinking of you...

Take care
Natasha xx


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## bodia (Apr 27, 2005)

Mrs H,

 Thinking of you and sending you lots of love and strength.

I cried in the relaxation part of a Body Balance class today.   Sobbed and sobbed when I got home. So am with you hon. Please remember there are always people on here you can turn to.

Lots of love,

xxx


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## Catb33 (Aug 1, 2006)

MrsHope - so sorry about your bfn. Words aren't enough at a time like this but please remember we're all here for you.

Cathie x


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## rosiebadgirl (Jan 8, 2007)

thinking of you, sweetie. you'll get through this, you really will.

we're all there for you.

xxx


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## Ella* (Mar 1, 2006)




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## ~*mRsHoPe*~ (Jan 25, 2006)

Hi ladies,
I just would like to thank you all for your love, and support it has really helped me!
I am a lot better now and thank goodness I am through the worst of it!
Mrs H 
Thanks again XXXX


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## Guest (Jan 29, 2007)

Mrs H
I am so sorry to read of your BFN and the emotional stress you are feeling at the moment. In my experiance I was 'ok' also when my second IVF failed and was sure that we would achieve our dream on our third try. When our third try failed I did really suffer and it felt almost as if all those tears were saved up for the third knock. All I can tell you is give it time, it is a great healer of the wounds we suffer. I am now 6 months on from our failure and altough I still have good and very bad days, the real stabbing and undescriable pain is gone (for now). DH and I have decieded that its all been too much and we do need a break, altough hard, I have thrown myself into new hobbies and am now a proud mommy to a lovely horse which stops me thinking of the hard times too much. Look after yourselves for awhile and only think about another go if and when you feel upto it, there's nothing wrong with having a rest 
Big hugs xxxx


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## sugary (Feb 17, 2006)

Hi
So sorry to hear how you're feeling, I 've two failed go's I've been feeling so low recently I haven't had the heart to post, on my first go I didn't even expect it to work but now it just seems so much harder to deal with.
Hope you are feeling loads better soon.
sugary.


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## rosiebadgirl (Jan 8, 2007)

how are you feeling today, mrs h?

thinking of you.

xx


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