# being childless at work



## Aley (Dec 13, 2016)

And again another moan about work  
It's been a while since I posted mainly because I decided to take a break from ivf/ttc but it seems like the faster I try to run the quicker it gets me. This morning I started crying thinking about a conversation I had at work the other day.
Short story is that I made a compliant regarding the way our working hours are managed (I work shifts) and of course everything came to bite me in the as*. Apart from the old story that is our fault because we want certain days off one of the bosses also made a point how "Those without children seem to have more problems and want more time off."  like if you don;t have children your life should be smooth and all happy and after added with half mouth "..for all sorts of "appointments".

My heart sinked and I opened my mouth to say something but then decided is not right and just walked away. The only time I asked off was when I had my last transfer in January and that was for 2 days (day of the transfer and the next one). I worked my hours that week and extra so I didn't think I had a problem and I did say to them that I have a hospital appointment.
I didn't say what is for, no one from my work knows about ivf, my bosses are all middle aged men and I feel not in any way comfortable talking about my inability to have children.  I also don't think they will get it.

I feel angry how society sometimes treats the ones that don't have children. One of my colleagues that has 2 kids is on some sort of parental leave for 2 months, another one takes days off to go with his child somewhere whenever he wants yet if I ask for a day off to deal with something personal that is disregarded as being unnecessary and trivial. I kinda want to shout "I matter too, you know! As infertile as I am...without kids, ofcourse." 

We're not planning any more treatment, not soon anyway part because I am still coping with my last failure but also because I am scared of how could I manage to get time off for scans&stuff. My contract here will finish in the summer but I don't have a guarantee that in another place will be any different...not for the next 2 years at least. 

I sometimes wonder if I am the only one struggling with having no child and also being treated like cr*p because I don't have one.


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## CopperBird (Jan 10, 2016)

You're not alone in feeling like this. I actually posted something similar to this about a year ago. 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=365937.0

I got round it by eventually telling my boss where to shove it (again middle aged man) and found a lovely job in the nhs who are extremely supportive.

In such a PC country I feel that infertility is one of the few things people can still get away with discriminating against :-(


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## Aley (Dec 13, 2016)

Thank you, CopperBird. I didn't realise there was another topic and I can see I am not the only one having to face this.

All I can hope is that one day I'll work for myself and I'll have to deal less with judgmental people.


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