# Adoption in Glasgow



## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi there we have been approved at Panel in March and currently waiting for our match. Had a good experience so far with our social worker although this week has been difficult and her boss has been involved and hasn't been very nice (even accused me of not making adoption my first priority because I can't get away from work on Monday to meet with her!) I'm feeling very annoyed and don't want things to turn sour after it all going so well up til now. Is there anyone else in Glasgow currently waiting to be matched or have any advice?

Thanks LB ❤


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hi lulu I'm not in glasgow but I'm in Scotland.  That's pretty crap of her to imply this. We've had a fairly longer than normal experience but always had meeting with SW etc that suited us and not them. Our SW has been amazing but it's been really difficult at times with waiting etc. We were also approved beginning of this yr and been linked with LO but once again in waiting.
Try not let it get to you if you can. Just smile and ask exactly what they would like you to do and if it doesn't suit you explain why. I honestly don't quite know what they expect mind you as you can't just take time off work at the drop of a hat. You'll need all time you can save for later on. Hope ur doin ok and calmed down   deep breathes and have a wee moan on here or if you need someone to chat to pm me. I've been a member on this site on and off for a few yrs but have never posted before. 
Take care


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hiya, the world of adoption on Glasgow can be very frustrating. Don't let them bully you, if you can't get away from work for the meeting then it can be rescheduled to another day that suits u all. We've been approved with Glasgow for 2yrs now and have our matching panel on Thursday for or lo. Ours has been a longer than usual journey and we've had so many delays with this lo who is a Renfrewshire child and we've known about her for a year now 
We're all here for u to let off steam.
M xx


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

We are with Glasgow as well and I agree very frustrating and lots of delays which were not necessary......however all I can say is bite your tongue and you will get there eventually. Our little boy has been home 3 weeks now and Is currently splashing about in his bath and we never thought we would get to this stage and even considered walking away at one point just hang in there


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Thanks for the advice ladies it's nice to blow off some steam and I managed to explain to my sw in a calm manner that I wasn't happy with the way her boss spoke to me. Seeing sw next week to see how things are going. It's nice to hear that some of you have been matched and that its all worth the wait.


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Glad u got it sorted and feeling better   we've had news matching panel in a few wks time. Eyes filled up there when I read ur post treaco about LO splashing in Bath.  We've also almost given up on occasion it can be soul destroying and very tough on relationship at times. But here we are fingers crossed all going well LO will be home in august holy moly!


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Oops sorry m222soo it was ur LO splashing in bath


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Ha just as well I did not post yesterday he was a little sh.. All day yesterday, he is 20 months and pushing all boundaries!!! August will be here before you know it so make the most of it😄


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Oh Daisy151 that's fab news make sure you make the most of your time until August what age will your LO be? And m222soo it's nice to hear ur LO is only 20months I'd love a wee one that age, how long did you wait to be matched if you don't mind me asking? Our SW says we will wait ages for an under 3. Although they have their tricky days when they can be trouble I'm sure it must still be amazing lol


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

We were approved in July last year, waiting for a match was really hard, probably the worst part.  He has settled really well eating loads and sleeping 12 hours however does not stop when he is awake, I don't think I was prepared for the physical exhaustion, I am pretty used to young children so the tantrums are not alien I just did not think they would be here so soon. He is not talking which does worry me however he came from a ver busy foster home with older children, so he just pointed and grunted and he got what he wanted...we have had a hello when playing with a phone but that's it.


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

I work with under 5s and I'm shattered when I get home so can't imagine how exhausting it will be 24/7, good exhausting tho. As for speech I would always give them until the age of 3 before worrying about it and they still be a little quiet as they adjust to new surroundings. That was quite a long time you had to wait how did you keep yourself busy?


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

LO will be around 22 months. We're enjoyin our time as much as poss but also so ready for next stage now. Although not expecting it to be all fun and games  
We only waited about 4 months after approval but I know that's quite rare. The waiting is really difficult but we also tried to make most of our time as being a 2.. Glad we have now lol as it's all happening now. 
I can see me being in bed as soon as LO is asleep for the 1st wee while as I can only imagine how exhausting it will be. Can't wait though  
Lulu if you truly want a younger child be firm and hold out for that. We were asked if we'd consider older and we said no. I was a bit scared but so glad we did. It was mainly that I wanted a few yrs before school Tbh. We were also told we would wait a long time but we haven't so you just never know.


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi girls

Well we got a unanimous YES at matching panel on Thursday and we're so glad that bit's over as because it was a Renfrewshire child we had to go but they were all lovely to us. We get our lo home in August so can't wait. As our bs is on school holidays now we booked a holiday to Turkey so we're taking him away for 2wks before he meets his sister.

Daisy hope all goes well for ur panel.

Moo all children can be litte sh some days that never changes as they get 

Hope everyone else is well

M xx


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Daisy151 that's such a lovely age to get even tho it won't always be easy but I'm sure u will love it! And it's nice to know you haven't waited too long. I'm hoping they are telling us it will take a long time as a precaution.  We are off on holiday so hopefully go away a late deal to get over that recent blow.

Hi treaco welcome to the convo and congrats what age will your LO be? That's so lovely is ur bo looking forward to little sis arriving, a wee hol will be just what u need.

Lou


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Aw Treaco thats fantastic news   so happy for you. 
Lou I think it will be just a precaution. We were told exactly the same. Hope you managed to get a holiday booked. Its good to get away to be able to just have a quiet mind and chill and just to spend some quality time together as a couple. We've fitted in as many as possible the last few yrs. Using all our free time now finishing off bits and pieces in the house and garden which in itself is now enjoyable. 
Hope you all had a nice wknd


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Yes thanks currently on our way to the airport and going back to the place we had our honeymoon. It must be so nice knowing who you are getting your home all ready for. When do you get introduced to your LO? I'll be offline for a week but fingers crossed for you all this week getting ready for panel or LO's arriving or LO's who are already here☀


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hope you have a magic holiday. Weather here is so rubbish. I'm not sure when intros will start. I think we find out when we go to matching panel. Difficult to plan really. 
But last bits of decorating keeping me busy. And yeah its great to be doing it for LO


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Daisy hope u don't have too long to wait and get to spend as much time as u can relaxing before LO comes along. We had a lovely week away and are back and ready to meet social worker on Tuesday.


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Glad you had a good time. I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for Tuesday hoping you get some news. I feel.like time has all of a sudden started going really fast. Less than 2 wks now to matching panel eek lol I have a mixture of anxiety, fear and total buzzing excitement all at once. Plus trying to contain a lot of excitement for the moment can often make me quite grumpy. I had no idea I was capable of having so many emotions at same time  
Hoping to have LO's room finished soon and I think that will make it all very real feeling. Need to get everything looking nice for photos as I'm goin to do a photo album to take to panel and to give later to FC for LO. I thought it would be good for panel members to see where LO will be living and give an idea of lifestyle etc if that makes sense.
I'm finding myself tearing up fairly often too past week. Have a wee thought about future and next thing I've got tears rolling down my cheeks. Hormones must be all.over the place.


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Daisy are you going to matching panel.....we didn't just got a phone call afterwards


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Yep we're going m222soo


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Daisy we found matching panel nerve racking and got a little bit emotional when we got our yes. It was good to go as they told us there and then so no waiting about for a phone call and ours was at 10 in the morning so no waiting all day for it either. 
We're still waiting for a date for planning meeting and introductions but we go on holiday on Saturday for 2 weeks so going to go away and enjoy our last holiday as a family of 3.

Hope ur all well.
M x


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Not complaining, but we were not given the choice, we had both taken the day off and a few days before thought it was odd we had no details so called oursocial worker said we were not required


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

I don't feel too nervous at mo Treaco. But I was so nervous for approval panel I don't think I could put myself through that again lol. I do however think I will cry. We didnt have to wait long at apptoval panel literally a few.mins for an answer. Hopefully be same at matching. Can't believe it all gonna happen soon. Great news about your hols. We did ours earlier this year just in case but if it takes ages to start intros we might go for another wknd somewhere. 

That's quite strange m222soo but I have heard of a few cases where adopters haven't attended. Maybe ur case was so straight forward they didn't need to ask u any questions. Almost said there that it would save ur nerves a little but even the waiting by the phone would be nerve wracking.


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

We weren't nervous going into matching panel but once it started we were and then afterwards a sense of relief came over us and that's when the tears came. It was just so emotional 

M x


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

We'll probably be same. I seem to be emotional all time at mo. It must just be a great relief afterwards. I.don't think I'm stressed or worried but deep down I probably am. All the uncertainty of last few yrs will just come to a massive big sigh of relief and lots of tears. Happy tears mind


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hi ladies just wanted to let you know we got a unanimous yes at matching panel   it was probably one of the most nerve wracking things I've ever gone through but outcome good. 
So now just waiting for dates for intros. Can't believe we're almost there. 
Hope everyone else is doin ok. Lulu how did ur meeting go?


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

I'm glad to hear all is progressing well and that the matching panel was a complete success. 

The meeting was pointless nothing to report and feeling a bit impatient, also had 1 friend have a baby this week and another announce a pregnancy 😢😢😢


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Aw F*** lulu I'm sorry to hear that. Also sorry for language but that was 1st thing that came in to my head there. It's just utter crap when we are hit by these moments! I totally get it been happening on and off for 15 yrs.  And there is bugger all anyone can say that will help or make u feel better. Keep ur chin up when u can. It's so ok to be ****** off too though


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Thanks daisy I can't help still get upset about it and half the couples hadn't even met when we started trying! And coz we are just waiting on that phone call from SW.


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hello ladies   


Glad to have found this forum and not quite in Glasgow, but south of the city.  We were approved at the end of January and just when I began to think less about the phone call we got a possible match in middle of May. The LO is now 9 months old and we have been on the roller coaster since hearing of this LO. Currently awaiting tests and then will be another 8 weeks for the results. This will mean the LO will be over 12 months by the time we are able to make our decision.  So that will mean we have known if this LO for 6/7 months before we can even say yes or no.  Finding this waiting very frustrating    LO would still be very young if we do say yes for which we are grateful,but still hard to keep calm at this stage.  


Lovely to read the posts on this thread and lovely to hear of matches happening, gives me courage to hang on in there! Will be logging in regularly now I have found this forum 
Suewa


TTTc for too long since 2000
4 failed IVF with ICSIs


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Aw totally understand Lulu.. few days before our link I'd all but given up. I found lack of contact from SW really hard even though I know that we weren't forgotten, it did feel like that. 
Wish I could say all will be fine and it won't be long, but there is a chance it might be longer than u expect. Have you been put on Scottish adoption register?  
I never realised how much organisation in my life was important until it was taken out of my hands. Waiting on other people sorting out your future is a very difficult one to take. I am keeping fingers and toes crossed for u that something will happen soon. We're back on waiting for dates. Have no idea when things are gonna.move fwd.
Thinking of you


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hiya Suewa hope you're doing ok    must be very difficult waiting for test results.


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Daisy 

Must be a great feeling to be the approval at matching panel  But the waiting for date a will seem like an eternity I can imagine 😁 Everything crossed you get dates sorted very soon and can get your. LO home very soon   😍

Waiting is really the hardest part and we don't have a date for testing at the moment, waiting to hear lol.  Difficult not to get attached to this LO but we need these results and our decision is resting on these,  Need to be grateful tho as still a very young child and given we were expecting an older child this LO ISO young is a huge bonus 😝

Will be watching for updates Daisy.

luLu I really hope you get some news soon too 😉

Suewa 😌


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Lulu 

Our SW did initially Put a bit of pressure on us to meet her at times that suited her (in the afternoons) but both working so wasn't really possible so we kinda compromised and she came mostly at 430. It is difficult but it has to suit you all time wise 😉

Suewa 😌


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi Suewa welcome to the group. We've had a long wait but the end is in sight for us now as we have our planning meeting on 10th august, intros week of 15th August with a view to her coming home 31st August.  We've had so many delays with this one and have been chosen for her for 11months now but hoping the wait will be worth it.

The waiting about and being at sw beck and call is hard but not much else we can do in the adoption world.

Daisy do u know when u'll hear about dates.

Lulu sorry ur meeting wasn't great.

M x


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

We got so fed up we asked about the adoption register and were told you had to be waiting 9 months...then we got our match a couple of weeks later. I ended up leaving work twice and even then had a week off before introductions as things changed again and work decided going back a third time was not good for anyone. The scottish system is a bit of a nightmare, even being matched and having our little one home we are still facing big issues with the system.


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

M22soo I agree the Scottish system is terrible, I've changed my date for my adoption leave from work 3 times as well as it's taken so long for us to get dates from them.  Everything is about waiting and u have to wait on social workers getting back to u all the time.

M x


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Ha Treaco don't hold your breath for your matching certificate😄


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi Suewa welcome to the group, thats great you have a match although must be tough having such a long wait as you will have this image in your head of what life would be like with this LO.  We previously got matched to a LO, much older than we had chosen but we still said yes and its amazing how quickly you imagine your life with that LO but then our sw's boss said she didn't think it was a suitable match and halted it and it felt like such a loss.  But 12months is such a great age and I hope they are exaggerating how long it will take for you .  I really want one young and to hear u guys are all matched to younger children is really positive.

Not on Scottish adoption register yet as we only got approved in March but I work term time and they already have my replacement sorted for when I am off for 9 months so I feel like a bit of a pest at work and no doubt will get the call as soon as i'm back at work after 6 weeks off and free to make any appointments lol


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Treaco 

Keeping everything crossed your dates all work out and you have your LO home at end of August 😊 How have you coped with the waiting? I have had a meltdown today and it's more to do with the fear we still potentially could be saying no to this LO slough really hoping the results mean we can say yes.  I am exhausted and not getting great sleep but mind is in overdrive with it all.  I need to learn how to switch off more to it all.  Out of our control and seems the sw in general go at their own pace and can't be hurried along. 

Lulu that must have been heart breaking being matched and then sw boss helping everything saying it wasn't a match for you   The LO we are matched with is still to have tests done and awaiting a date for these. They hope it will happen in September some time (not holding my breath) and results will take long time as they are genetic so can take up to 3mo the for these. Hopefully it will be worth the waiting.  We are not on the adoption register either, despite paperwork stating we would go on this after 3months without a match; sw and her boss said oh we don't like to do the prep with you and then pass you on we like to keep you and match you ourselves.....hnmmmmm. We were expecting and older child but always said a baby would be a real bonus 😊fingers crossed it all works out for all of us....and soon 😊

Suewa xx


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

I really hope you get the results ur after and get ur wee baba, it's not nice when it falls through and we had only said yes a week before sw boss stopped it so must be tough with the long wait.


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi girls

M22soo I texted our sw this afternoon about our matching certificate and she said lo's sw said it's been sent out so we'll see if it's there when we get back from our holiday on Saturday.

Suewa it's been a long wait for us and we have felt like throwing in the towel a few times but hung in there and our perseverance was noticed at panel and by sw, hope ur wait to get answers isn't too long.

Lulu hope u get a good match soon, for to get were u say yes and then they pull the plug must have been really hard.

M xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hiya everyone   aw I am so glad I'm not the only one that feels like I'm going crazy from time to time  

Holy moly Treaco I hadnt realised you had been waiting for 11 months you've got patience of a saint and you Suewa. And nope Treaco we haven't been given any indication as to when they will tell us. I'm kinda glad its now friday as I know I will hear nothing now till at least next week so can stop checking emails for a few days  

Lulu what a shame about your previous link with LO. We had a couple of possibilities earlier too which didn't come to anything, not even as much as you got to with being asked yes or no. That must have been so horrible    Only magic thing that came out of that for us is that I truly believe our LO now is so perfect for us and I'm glad it's happened this way. Didn't help much at the time though. We were extremely lucky with our SW as she put us on the adoption register for Scotland pretty much straight away. Then a meeting with other surrounding LA's happened and that's how we were linked with our LO. 

The waiting is hard though and when I was reading ur post there suewa I related to every bit about having a meltdown. I've had many over past few years. But when reading others feelings makes me feel not quite so mad and defo not alone   Also what you said Treaco about it being noted at matching panel about your patience and perserverance, we were same. It brought tears to my eyes that they took note of that and mentioned it at panel. 

Hiya M222soo hope all good with you and you're LO is doing well. How are things going?  xxx


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi girls 

Daisy it has been a long wait but i'm sure she'll be worth it. Hopefully u'll get dates soon.

M22soo we came home and our matching certificates r here so all good on that front.

We need to get started on our book for lo but don't know what one to get.

Hope the rest of u r well.

Have any of u been told about a settling in grant u get. Our sw mentioned it before but need to ask her about it again.

M xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hi Treaco we were told at matching panel about a settling in grant.  Not sure that's what it was called but same thing. We'll find out over next few wks if we get it. Also have had friends who have adopted who received it. I think it depends on LA but it's a pretty common thing.
Is it intro book you are doing? I got the lamaze hear me see me talking book and also gonna do a photo album with other family members, wee ones bedroom, garden etc. Went out and got glitter and stickers other day to decorate it   hoping it captures attention of LO
Brilliant news about matching certificate   nice mail to come home from holiday to. Hope you had a great time x


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

We were at training and are defo going to copy what they did. They went to build a bear and got an adoption certificate for the bear and u can record a message that the bear plays. Then take photos of the bear around your home etc. 

Lu x


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Lu we're getting a build a bear for our lo from our son so taking pictures of it round the house is a great idea, was just looking at them today as will be buying it this wk.

Daisy going to have a look at books this wk as only got 9 days to get it all ready eeeek.

M x


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Your lucky Treaco, I have only ever received an email copy, and that was only after my husband went back to work after a weeks holiday and 2 weeks paternity! We were given the grant but are still waiting for the money.....


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

We also thought about getting a build a bear but changed our minds.
Not long now Treaco   exciting and nerve wracking. Hard to believe by this time next month life will be a very different experience


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Good luck for today and this week Treaco hope all goes well x


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Thanks daisy our introductions got changed to nxt wk, so we start them on 22nd and she comes home on 31st. We all can't wait to meet het now but think introductions will be long and it's a 55 min journey 1 way.

M xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

We're same Treaco journey wise. We start intros wed this wk. I'm excited but also nervous. Just can't believe it's all happening now.  Last few bits and pieces on house tomoz and we're ready to go eek   xx


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Awe good luck honey. Can't believe we've both got our introductions soon. Exciting times ahead. How long r u introductions lasting 

M x


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Ladies

Treaco and Daisy that's great your introductions are starting next week and this week 😄😄 exciting times and will be thinking of you during the next few weeks and will be looking out for updates 😃 

We are stuck in limbo and feeling pretty frustrated with sw.  Got call saying there is a test date which is still about 7 weeks away and the results will take 8 weeks minimum 😪. This will take us to end of Nov at least.  However lo's sw said she wasn't aware of test date a is unsure if the date is a clinic appointment (routine) so she said she will check.  Had an awful weekend last weekend and spent most of the time in tears. Frustrated no one takes ownership and tries to speed things on or at least be able to explain the delays.  

Does anyone know what's involved if we said yes and get child throw the foster to adopt option? Only know we need a solicitor to sort out legalities of it all. Unsure how this works or how ling this would take.  Any experience anyone? So we would potentially have child placed before the matching panel takes place. Providing of course we can say yes.  

Hoping we can speak to the consultant involved with LO and get a clearer picture of why tests were suggested and find out if the tests are definitely being done as I wonder if the Could say these aren't required and in that case we are waiting for no reason as only thing preventing our decision rests on the test results.

Must keep up to speed with everyone here 😀 

Suewa xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Thanks so much Treaco   I know it's mad we're right on same time scale. We knew it was gonna happen quite fast after matching panel but not this fast! I was sick when I got home today just adrenalin and nerves I think. It's the most surreal feeling in the world. We all plan for this moment for so long and when it comes it is so mental feeling. Plan is to bring her home next Wednesday all going well.
Hey Suewa ooft I feel your pain. I really admire you for holding out for this LO I don't know if I could have. Sorry to hear you've been so upset   it's so crap having to wait and be out the loop with what's going on behind the scenes in a way. I'm not sure of foster to adopt. When we did prep classes few yrs back it was concurrency that was discussed and our SW advised against this due to laws being very different in Scotland. But if you are being offered this and defo want to go ahead then go for it. The waiting is the hardest by far. Although in saying that we're now pretty scared about meeting and bringing LO home    let us know what happens.
Howz things with you Lulu? Feel like we've hijacked ur thread a little hope that's OK. Been thinking of you and wondered if you guys had heard anything? X


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi Suewa hope u get some answers soon. The waiting is the worst part but will be worth it.

Daisy good luck for tomorrow, remember relax and enjoy it. Let us know how it goes.

We're on countdown now till we meet our little lady but meeting bm on Friday for a short time so meeting with our sw manager tomorrow for her to go over what we say.

M xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Thanks Treaco   hope all goes well for u this week too x


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Went amazing this morning we are so in lobe already xx


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi Daisy how r intros going?

Can't believe our intros start in 2 days, just been today and got her car seat fitted.

M xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Aw Treaco I'm so excited for you. We've had an amazing week. It's so strange the feelings that have developed so quickly. I think I should have been lifting weights in gym for last year in order to get my muscles fit. I've pulled something in my neck and shoulder already from swinging her up and down. We did have a bit of trauma yesterday taking LO out and it wasn't pleasant. I cried for most of the afternoon after returning home. It's when u see this it brings home just how much these LO's have been through in their wee tiny lives. It was heartbreaking to watch. 

But today is a new day. We are just leaving shortly to go pick her up and bring her home for day. Let the fun begin. Fingers crossed all goes ok. I cannot believe our week is almost over. That's us going into day 5 today. Feels like longer but at same time gone so quick. 
All the best for tomoz every single moment is a memory xx


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Oh exciting times Daisy and sounds like you have had a whirlwind of a week 😍 When will,you bring LO home?

Treaco, how did you get on today starting the introductions? 😊 Hope you had a great time and memories into the making 😊

We have had another mixed week. The date we were told was testing turns out not to be for testing.  It was all up in the air and after another horrendous weekend we emailed our social worker saying we were very unhappy at the delays and the lack of communication.  SW then came to vist us last week and we really laid it on, in the hope they may get some answers.  Not allowed to speak to the consultant, but have asked the medical advisor to do this on our behalf.  Sw is coming back this Thursday again hopefully with more info and answers to our questions.  The date we now hvae for testing is end of October, but unclear still if this is a discussion about possible testing or what.m😳

It's going to be an even longer wait and I am really struggling to keep going, every day is a struggle at the moment . I'm sure you ladies will keep me going and looking froward to hearing more about your LO's  xxx


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Aw Suewa it's hard waiting when u want things to happen, we had a really long wait to get where we r now but it will all be worth it.

Daisy how's things going with ur lo.

Well our introductions r going great, our lo has been really good with it all and we took our bs down to meet her today and they were great together. She was sitting up on my knee today and we've had cuddles when we left.xx


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi ladies sorry I haven't been on for a while, our SW is going to be off work long term so we are now left with her boss (the one who stopped the previous match 😡) so feeling a bit abandoned. Glad to see intros are going well it must be the most amazing feeling can't wait until we are at the same stage as you ladies.

Xxx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hiya girls   
Such a lovely moment Treaco when wee one comes for a cuddle. Glad things are going well for you.
Well 2yrs and 4 months after we started our beautiful little girl is sleeping in her room upstairs. All the pain and heartache or stressful moments are but a slight memory. Cannot believe we are finally at this lovely time. It has been so hard waiting but honestly worth every moment. Keep ur chin up guys cause when it happens none of the stuff that is going on the now will matter at all. Big hugs to you both. Am keeping everything crossed for u both that something happens soon    xx


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi ladies 😊

Treaco how are things? Hoping you are too busy with bs and lo to be on here ....

Daisy how are you all getting along? I have been thinking of you both and thinking of you also in an attempt to keep me sane 😝

Lulubee how are you doing? 😊

We have had another bumpy week.....goal posts have been moved with no explanation given. Not a happy bunny right w and the whole 'when we adopt' has suddenly become 'if' we adopt. Hey oh see what the next few weeks bring. Testing end of October so a bit of a wait until then.  

Hope everyone is doing well and would love to hear your updates ladies 😍


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hi Suewa
Things my end are great. I'm an extremely tired mummy but I hate myself if I complain! I honestly can't believe our LO has not even been home a week. I feel like we've had her forever. My whole body hurts from lifting and running around lol. If ur not already make sure ur in shape for ur wee one. I have piles if washing needing put away but never get a second to do it. Life is a different place altogether but fabulous all the same. 
Don't give up hope hunni things will eventually fall into place and when they do you will not even think about one moment of the **** part. Honestly it's so worth the wait. Wishing u lots of luv for your wee future family x


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Awww Daisy that is amazing and you sound so happy which is wonderful really leased for you and your little family 😍😍😍 yes I can imagine you will be aching all over and falling into bed five minutes after LO 😄  remind me how old,LO is? It's lovely to hear that the poop moments all vanish when it gets to that stage 😜

We will see what develops as we hvae done a big email to head of service, so this could be very telling 😳

I bet you are calling out big zzzzzzzs right now, enjoy every moment xxxxx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

haha I was but just been up for 2hrs trying to get a very awake little lady back to sleep. She's 20months full of beans. Usually sleeps right through night. Back to sleep for me you never realise how noisy floor boards and doors are until you have a little one trying to sleep   now praying for a lie in. 
Hope you hear something soon xx


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi ladies how is everyone doing and lo's settling in? Must be amazing even if sleep deprived lol😊😊😊

We had a call last week for a sibling group but also a few other couples being considered. Now sw says the kids sw is off until 20th sept and when they come back they will decide which couple to go forward with. So prob end of sept by time they have had meetings and decide. I'm really frustrated and don't think they can play with people's emotions like that and leave all the couples waiting for an answer.  Did any of u lovely ladies have to wait around like this?? It's one thing after another 😡😡😡


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi lulu

It's the one thing I struggle with is how the sw's can't think things through. It would have been better to have waited until after the children's sw was back from holiday as its very cruel to leave you hanging for several weeks not knowing what is going on. Really hope it turns out well for you  thinking of you and shout if you need a rant.  We had visit from sw manager last week and although it cleared up some things it made me feel in many ways that it is just me who can't cope with waiting ( clearly I know that's not the case) but it just feels very wrong that they can't show empathy or use compassion towards us as prospective adopters. 

How are you Daisy and Treaco? Inspire us to keep going ladies and hope all is well with your LO's

We are in Corfu for a week.....omg the weather is awful! Arrived yesterday and it's been pouring rain and thunderstorms since and it's to continue until Sunday 😂😂😂😱😱😱 xx


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Thanks nice to know I can have a rant here tho hope I'm not bringing anyone down. The sw just keeps saying this is part of the process (she clearly has no idea how it feels) and she is no help whatsoever. I can't wait until our proper social worker returns so is so much easier to talk to. It's unacceptable that they can let us wait like that and then it might all be for nothing.

Enjoy ur holiday at least when u are away u don't have to face the Sw's, I hope the weather picks up and u have a good hol. Do u have any meetings set up for when u return?

Lou


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Lou

Our sw is due to visit on 22/9. Unsure how it will go as we saw her manager last week (our email,went to head of service tho, so we will be in the black book now but hey ho we had to do it 😜)  this whole 'foster to adopt' has been causing so much confusion and stress for us and then the manager said we are not approved as 'foster to adopt' and in this case the child is under section 25 so they must get the 'permanence order with authority to adopt' before child can be placed with us.  So we still would require to go to linking, matching panel etc first.  Our sw and child's sw led us to believe child could be placed prior to linking and matching.  However, we are a long way from that and it will be end of October before can make a decision at the earliest and if tests are required it will be February.  Like your sw we were told this is the roller coaster we are on.  Hmmm not impressed.....playing with peoples emotions in such an emotive issue grrrr 😥 Let's hope all the ups and downs will be worth it soon 😜 xx

Rant away Lou 😝xx
Sue x


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

February!!!!!! That's appalling I really don't think sw gives the proper info or they do it at the worst times when we are upset and not taking it all in properly. Either that or they make it up as they go along. 
So does that mean you will be going straight to adoption?
Don't worry about being in the bad books think I will be too coz I got so frustrated by her emails earlier I told her it was unacceptable but tbh that was me being nice lol

Lou


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi girls sorry I haven't been on much late,things have been a bit hectic. Waiting has been our middle name and sw don't care. We were approved 2 yrs before our lo came home and we were unofficially linked with her a year before she came home with delay after delay. It is very frustrating waiting but now I'm on the other side with her home I will say enjoy ur time together while u can as things r hectic during intros and even more hectic when they come home. We have a bc so have been here before but I forgot how full on they r when they're younger and u probably get even more sw visits when they come home.  In saying that things r going well with her home, just a few teething problems but we'll deal with them over time.

M xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hey guys hope ur all well   Lou u rant away ur not bringing anyone down at all. It's a horrid place to be waiting. I honestly from my heart feel like I've waited a lifetime to be a mummy. It hurts like hell and in the adoption process we not only still carry that but we quite often feel like it's "best behaviour and almost game show like" 
My DP and I have been so lucky to have an amazing SW but there were so many times I still got annoyed as not being replied to or things taking too long. It's funny in a way the learning curve that we go through about losing our control of our lives. Because that is exactly what our LO's go through before we meet them, whilst we have intros and when they come home. I had no idea I liked to be in control until I had none. I see that every day in my LO. 
I read so many times and was told enjoy every moment before they come and to be honest we did to a certain extent but that unknown and I guess fear and excitement of being parents for 1st time always overshadowed everything. 
I know nothing I say will ever change how deeply exasperating this all is but trust me it WILL happen. And when it does be prepared to never have a moment to even worry about all the crap that is happening right now. 
No gonna kid you on and say it's a fairytale either mind you. I've had moments I've had to shut myself in the kitchen for a few mins whilst cbeebies is on and greet. Then I have a word with myself to put my big girl pants on and sing nursery rhymes and smile and say to my wee one it's ok to be angry and I wonder if you're angry because? 
Hardest job I've ever had in my life! I honestly wish I could say it's soooo amazing and magic but it's not all the time. But then I see a smile and we sing some songs and she giggles so hard it cracks me up and I know it's all meant to be. Biggest learning curve of life so far and I've had many   
You guys stick in there and be strong and happy now if you can. Do everything you can to make u good. You will be lucky to even have a shower when wee one home lol!  
Take care   x


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hell ladies 😄

Lulu how are you holding up with the waiting? Is it still another week until you hear further? Have been thinking of you and hoping you are holding up ok 😌. What ages are the siblings? 

Treaco good to hear things are well with the LO home and I can imagine once on that other side we will wish we had enjoyed this side of things more.  The last week or so has been but better just one wobbly yesterday,but I was off for public holiday and DH was working so it just gave me time to think.  I do Fa better when I'm at work and. Ind is occupied with work.  How often does the sw visit? 

Daisy how are you all doing? 

Our sw is coming on Thursday, so dreading how she will be with us after our complaint. 😱 

Is anyone else south of Glasgow? 😝 

Sue xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hey Sue
Hope Thursday goes well and maybe some news for you. Our SW didn't visit much whilst we waited and I often got really down. But we didn't really wait long compared to many. Anymorr signs of the tests being done?
We're doing fine. I now know all the words to postman pat, Justin's house song and many nursery rhymes   we've had some really difficult moments tbh but the really good times outweigh. Every day is a school day and I learn something new most days.
Let us know how Thursday goes x


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi sue we r Glasgow south. Hope you get good news tomorrow will keep my fingers crossed for u b sure to let us know how u get on.

Aw Daisy glad LO is settling in well has LO met any family members yet?

Well we should have had an answer on Tuesday but due to the SW being off she has told us we will get an answer on 3rd October. 5WEEKS that will be and they might chose the other couple. I told them it's really not fair and the manager is due to phone me tomorrow as the SW said "it's just part of my personality" that I need to know. Need to complain as our sw has been off for months and her supervisor who is now handling it just keeps putting things off and now she is on holiday.  It's 2 pink ones under 2 years old.


Lou x


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi ladies 

Well our sw came tonight and it went fine.  Sw seemed more informed.  So basically we are awaiting the outcome from the appointment at end of oct to find out if tests will still go ahead. Good news is lo is doing really well so here's hoping they decide not to do the testing.  Also we hopefully will get feedback of the developmental review too which will give us hopefully good idea of how lo is doing. Quite relieved to have that visit over with as was unsure how our sw would be with us after we put in a complaint.  

Daisy, I can imagine it is very much a learning curve with lo, but good you are learning every day. Lol at you knowing the words to postman pat etc.....I can't wait 😂😝 

Anyone heard from Treaco? 😌hope all well for you Treaco though, and you are just to busy to get online xx

Roll on the 3rd October for you Lulu, they don't seem to have a clue how hard it is not knowing what is going on. Everything crossed the 3rd of October brings good news for you.  

we are keeping our sights on end of October, let's hope it's a good month all round 😍

Sue xx


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Daisy, I hope the difficult moments get less but good that the positive times outweigh the negative ones.  I hope you are feeing supported through the difficult moments.  How often does the sw visit now? 
Sue xx


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hi everyone sorry been a bit long in replying I don't get much time at all at Mo.
Life is good and LO doing well. Lou yeah LO has met most close family which is not a huge many people but we introduced fairly quickly. We keep visits short but trying to keep grannies away is impossible so we try to make sure they see LO once a week at Mo. 
Sue we don't see SW all that often but time is just flying by at Mo so I hardly notice. I'm mainly working on attachment and bonding for now. Routines are coming together too. LO not quite as clingy as in the beginning so I even manage to get the dishes done and dinner in slow cooker for DP getting home from work   it's so strange I can hardly think what it was like before. I feel like I'm settling into everything better now too although I never quite know what to expect from day to day but it keeps life interesting.
I can't wait till u guys hear something positive about ur future. I truly feel for you both as waiting is excruciating. Was also wondering if you wanted to that we could maybe set up a private group on ********. I'm always a bit wary of saying too much here as it's public but at same time would love to be able to have others to chat to aboit things that most people just don't understand. Pm me if you're up for that. X


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Daisy 

Lovely to hear you and LO are doing well.  I can't imagine how busy you are 😂 we keep saying yes once Lol arrives we will be having lots of very early nights 😝. Good that you are managing to provide dinner for your DH, he is being well looked after 😂.  Good to hear the social worker isn't coming to you too often and I suppose you won't have much time to think about it all now .which is a good thing.  Every day will be a learning curve and sounds like you are working on the important bits just now and can also imagine be difficult to keep the grandparents away 😂
Will pm you also 😜  fabulous idea you came up with 😄. 
Sue xx


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi Daisy glad to hear it's all going well and sw isn't meddling and letting you just adjust to a normal family life.  Do you think it was easier to introduce family members to LO because they are so young?  It must be hard for grandparents but I think thats normal and at least we will all have excuses to keep their visits limited which other new parents don't, just blame sw lol.

Hope everyone else is doing good?

Lou


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Lou

Hope you are doing okay 😊 are you up for the private group? Hope so 😊
Sue x


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Yes I am just pm me the details plz


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## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi girls sent u a pm xx


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## m222soo (Mar 7, 2012)

Sorry don't get a chance to get on here too much, Suewa I am south side of Glasgow and have had my challenges with sw along the way.....we now have our court date next month fingers crossed its not contested, Daisy totally agree it's the hardest thing I have ever done and I a, now 4 months in


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## Missy moo (Jul 14, 2014)

Can I join this group?  I've been following this page since it started up. I'm in south side of Glasgow. Approved at panel in August We have had an initial meeting with children's social worker this week and will be meeting foster carer etc in November. All going well hopefully our family will be growing just after Christmas.


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## Suewa (Mar 29, 2010)

Hi Missy moo I will ask To change the group settings on social media so we can add you  be lovely to have another member  xx


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## WeeJacs (Feb 22, 2015)

Hi all

Can I join you on this thread? You'll see from my profile that I've had 2 attempts at IVF but unfortuantely 2 miscarriages. Now considering where we go from here.  

Looking for some info and advice, have you all applied through the council that you live in? Not really clear on the process. All advice would be greatly received 

Jac x


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## Daisy151 (Jan 7, 2016)

Hiya Jac I'm so sorry to read what's happened so recently with you and ur hubby   it's such a heartbreaking experience and can be incredibly lonely in ur grief.
My other half and I didn't go down ivf route as I was 41 when we found out there were fertility problems. Plus I'd gone through miscarriage yrs before with a previous partner and I knew in my heart of hearts that for me I couldn't put myself through all that agony again so we pretty much went straight to adoption. 
It's been a long road of up and down emotions but also a real self discovery journey. I know that most LA's will more than likely want you to have at least 6months clear of any treatments and losses as the adoption road takes a lot of emotional strength to get through. I found on numerous occasions throughout that I still grieved not having a birth child. But you get through it and in a way make peace with this although I don't believe it ever truly leaves you.
We went through our own LA but I now know that you can apply to any if you chose that. It took about 2&hlf yrs between making the 1st enquiry to bringing our LO home. LO been home for 2months now and life is defo very different! All good though.
Any questions about process etc ask away or PM any of us I'm sure anyone that's chatted here would be more than happy to help.

Daisy x


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## Missy moo (Jul 14, 2014)

Hi weejacs we have gone through an agency rather than local authority. It is a big decision to go down adoption route but one I am delighted we have chosen. After 3 failed ivfs I too couldn't take any more heart ache we sat down together and agreed that having children to share our lives was more important than getting pregnant.  Like daisy said happy to answer any questions if I can.


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## WeeJacs (Feb 22, 2015)

Thanks Ladies!!

Adoption is something we're now beginning to talk about, like you say - Daisy having a child share our love is the most important thing. I understand that most LA's have the 6month to a year policy which is fine with us. It's crucial that when you start the process your both in a strong place to see it through. Congrats on your LO being home now, must be amazing ❤...I wasn't too clear if LA's rather you applied out with your area so thanks for clearing that up. 

MissyMoo - What's the differences with going through an agency rather than LA?

Jac x


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## Missy moo (Jul 14, 2014)

Hi weejacs we picked our agency as they provide support for the whole family even after children are placed. They are a small ish agency and all the social workers in the team know myself and husband by name and seem genuinely pleased and excited for us celebrating getting to panel and then getting matched. They have peer support events that allow you to meet others going through the same I have found this particularly useful, as there are times when I want to chat with others who know what I have been through and am going through. This is Something I find difficult with my other friends who seem to be able to have birth children without even thinking about it. On a more practical side being an agency meant that from when we were approved they started looking for children all over the country for a match not just Glasgow.


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## lulubee (Mar 25, 2012)

Hi weejacs how r u, so sorry to hear about what you have been through. ❤❤❤ It's heartbreaking to go through and I always felt it took months for my hormones to return to normal. My husband and I had 3 transfers with icsi and always a bfn, eventually decided it was too hard to go through again.  Adoption was always an option and we researched and waited until we felt we defo didn't want to try treatments again.
Went through LA and they do like you to have had enough time from treatment to the adoption but not sure if that was just Glasgow.  We phoned to enquire exactly 2 years ago today and although it's not always been easy and it's been a journey with adoption it's good to know that it WILL HAPPEN just a case of when.  We were approved in march and have been matched to 2 LO's who should be with us early next year so we are now very excited and although we haven't met them yet I'm sure it will have been eorth the wait.

Best wishes
Lulu


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