# donor sperm match (confused)



## kelz2009 (Jan 18, 2009)

hi everyone we have had a phonecall today from the clinic with our donor match (so called) we gave mine and dp characteristics of fair skin light brown hair, blue or green eyes. the donor has come back as light brown hair, fair skin and brown eyes however what is confusing us is that the donor is white brazilian. we dont know what to do, as we know we will be offered another 2 attempts but, what happens if these dont match us!!!!! what would u do??


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

kelz - what is confusing?  is it because you wanted someone english?

you can ask for as many as you like.  we were offered three for each insemination to choose from.  

why dont you call to chat with them about it?

aimeex


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I am not sure if LWC is having donor issues as Rose on the single girls thread was made to change her donor when she was stimming, she had to change donors but had her ET yesterday.

Brazilians are beautiful people, but all the ones I see are latino looking!!

L x


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## steve and sue (Oct 8, 2008)

Hi well our experience of some clinics here was not great , we have however spoken to a few couples at the clinics that we used and one of those needed a donor match in the UK they found one for them pretty quickly , it does seem that we should be greateful for what we are offered or thats what clinics seem to feel .....

We used an egg donor for our surrogate through IVF consulting who where great maybe see what they can do on the sperm donor front fo you , always worth a try ...

sue x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

sorry am if im being really dim, but are you confused because youre not sure how brazillians could be fair skinned?  i think the thing about brazil its soo mixed there is a bit of everything!


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## kelz2009 (Jan 18, 2009)

hi every1 me and my partner have come to the decision that this isnt the donor for us, it just doesnt seem right as i wanted some of my parners characteristics when it comes to the donor,and the only thing he had was colour of hair,  i really felt terribe phoning the clinic to refuse today as i didnt want  them to think im ungrateful, because im really not. I was really upset after phonin them and my dp didnt know why i was upset because she said it was a decision we had both made, to be honest i dont know why i was upset  . 
I know there can be white brazillians but there was a few things that made us come to our decision not only because hes brazillian. the clinic said because we have refused if the next 2 donors are not sutaible we will have to go with the last choice which may not be what we want i really dont want to sound picky but its a real hard decision 4 us, i know hes not going to be my childs dad but he will always be their bio father and for me i feel i need to be happy with my choice its not like shopping 4 a new top now isit!!!!!!


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## single.mummy (Mar 12, 2009)

Hi 
I do not really post on here as at the moment I am not trying to conceive. However, i just wanted to say how starnge it is that they offer you one donor at a time. I find it strange as I went to the MFS and I was given a choice of 3 donors to pick from. So I was able to make the best choice of 3. 
I do understand your dilemma as I found it very difficult to pick the right donor and as you say they are going to bio logically be part of the child. I really did struggle at the time. I just wanted to say that you are not alone in worrying about picking a donor. 
I do hope it works out for you.
x


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## kelz2009 (Jan 18, 2009)

thanx 2ummies i do appreciate ur reply 2 me i thought i was going cazy last night as all i could think of was this donor i couldnt even sleep last night and found it hard in work 2day as someone in work is preg and showed every1 scan 2day and i was over the moon 4 them but very emotional 2.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Could you consider importing sperm? Some of the girls import from EBS in Denmark and have a large choice/photos/voice recordings of their donors.


L x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

kelz - i found the choosing the first donor a really big deal .. and quite stressful.  by the time we were havng our third iui it didnt bother me half as much. but it IS a big deal and you have every right to say no for whatever reason.

my dp and i rejected some donors for really bizare personal choices i think that is normal and the staff at the bank must have heard all of them.  so dont worry what they think.

its upsetting if you think they might not be able to provide you with a match ... because we know you and your dp want a baby soo much.  but dont worry youll get there.

i dont understand why they are offering you one at a time, on our first go we were offered a choice of three we rejected two, they offered us another one.  so we had four the choose from that time.  the next time they offered us three again, at short notice because when we came to the clinic for the iui i thought we would have the same donor as last time but we hadnt paid to reserve it, something i didnt realise we had to do.  and the last time they offtered us three or four to choose from. 

maybe they are having problems at the moment, but be persistant its not like choosing a dress its gonna make your baby!  so keep talking to them.

axxxx


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## kelz2009 (Jan 18, 2009)

hi amieegaby thanx for ur reply i was hoping 2 have more than 1 donor at a time but as the clinic have only offered us 1 at a time i assume they may well be suffering a shortage of   , we   we hear something soon as i was hopin 2 start injections etc 26th or 27th of april, my dp said dont worry we have plenty of time not to get too stressed, but theres no good her telling me that i just want it soooooo much. i think u girls know how i feel thats why i like to come on ff.  p.s amiee u are looking gr8 pregnant, how u feelin?


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## MandMtb (Mar 6, 2009)

Kelz, I know it must have been a tough decision to turn a donor  down. And although I feel you made the right decision based on discussions with your DP, I can sympathise that it is still an emotional decision  

It is difficult only being offered one choice at a time, but your right it's an important decision so if you dont feel right about the choice dont feel pressured to accept it. But again I know that's easier said than done. I will be keeping everything crossed for you hun, that the right sperm donor comes along.

Love S x


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## kelz2009 (Jan 18, 2009)

hi manmtb i never thought id feel so upset about refusing but i felt, and i know it prob sounds silly but i felt like i had lost something or someone  . because me and my dp had our reasons for refusing that was the only decision we could come to realistically. 
we spoke to both our parents about it for support and both mine and dps mum said go 4 it he sounds nice so that put additional pressure on us both(me more than dp) my mum i think just wants a grandchild and to her it doesnt matter what donor looks like and if u are not in any of our positions then i prob would agree with her but like i said to my mum this hasnt been an easy decision. thanx for post how u feeling?


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

kelz - thanks for the compliment.  im feeling really fine, although starting to not sleep through the night now with the aches of the bump.  

keep us in touch on how they go offering you more sperm!

axx


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## MandMtb (Mar 6, 2009)

Kelz, thinking of you  

Hope you feeling a bit better and that the LWC are in touch soon.

S x


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