# **HELP - ADVICE URGENTLY NEEDED - EMPLOYERS/EMPLOYEES**



## JJJMommy (Jun 2, 2005)

Dear All Ladies,

I hope someone can help me as im on a really limited time scale until my next appointment. Ive been working for this company for 2.5 years and for this year have used all my holidays for fertility treamtent etc. Im now re starting Clomid when i have my next AF and feel now in the obligation to inform my manager (who is a female and very un lady like and understanding of women things - should of been a man!) My next apt is 14th October 
I feel ready to be open about this now as not being able to say "i want to be a mom" is affecting me  but feel very worried about the position she will put me in and would feel very "picked on" and maybe bullied out as she hates people who has time on and she is a lady who rather works and puts this first.
I need to know if HR would allow me hospital time apts regarding fertility treatment?

Has anyone been through this or knows the law?

Please help
Amy xx


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## lesleyr (Jul 26, 2009)

Honestly dont have a clue hun sorry, Phone cab they will b able 2 help xx


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hiya,

It may be worth asking HR what there policy is on paying for appts. My company doesnt for anything and i have to make the time up on other days. Not sure if this is an option for you? Luckily for me if i have an appt, its 2 hours max from leaving work to getting back in the building so not much time to make up.

Also you dont have to be specific when it comes to talking about your appts. Just saying you have a gynea appt should be fine, its up to you how much info you want her to share

Hope you can sort something out   
xx


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## mjp1977 (Jul 18, 2010)

Hi Amy,

I was in a very similar situation when I started on the clomid.  As far I am aware there is now law regarding the treatments, it is down to the specific company policy (at the time I was ttc#1 this was the case!)  I layed my cards down on the table and was honest, I even picked up some info from the hospital and handed that to the director so she knew exactly what was involved, I was extremely lucky and they were exremely supportive.

Fingers crossed, it's so terrifying when you feel so isolated and that you may be bullied, I honestly felt exactly the same some bosses are so anti women and womens stuff it's untrue, I had a female boss too who should have been a man.

Let us know how you get on!

Love and kind wishes

Mandy x


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## lesleyr (Jul 26, 2009)

just realised theres an ask a lawyer board on main page so u could ask in there xx


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

There is also a work issues board, but you need to request access

xx


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## wishing4miracle (Sep 7, 2006)

i dont see why they wont allow the time off togo but doubt they will pay you to have the time off


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## GIAToo (Nov 8, 2009)

Legally you are not entitled to any time off for this and as others have said it is down to company policy - not many companies have a policy for fertility treatment unfortunately.  Ask your HR department.

I would be wary of telling your boss if you think she will use it against you, but also understand the feelings  about needing to tell.    

I have worked in HR for 20 years btw and even in those areas where you ARE protected by the law (eg. when you get pregnant!), managers will still ignore the law if they think they can get away with it, which is what makes me wary. Just based on my experience - in 20 years I can count the "good"managers I have met on one hand and I have worked in lots of places as I'm an interim.  Sorry to be so cynical.

Good luck!
GIA Too xxx


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## JJJMommy (Jun 2, 2005)

Hi Girlies,
Thank you all for taking the time to reply, ve googled as best i can but really dont know the correct term, i mean the company i work for are an utter sham, its either in or out the click and if you dont hold status to the company or have credible position to the MD then he gets wrapped up in bubble and does not see what goes on in the office.  My manager is a lesbian (i dont hold anything against that) but she does not come across as understanding and i have always had to prove my hosp apt (that dont detail my fertility" even as booking it for holiday, its a very hard job to work in and now i feel i need to be honest and just say "im trying to get pregnant" i mean it is normal to say im pregnant but to say im trying is another thing. I just feel being honest is now my only option as ive been told i have to have follicle tracking which i never did before. 

I cant seem to find any law supporting of fertility however only the fact no woman should be subjected to any discrimination but i am useless to the law and the worst thing is you cant even ring HR as i dont know whether it would get back to my manager.
I know this sounds really stupid but this company is stupid and i also have a new job im awaiting to start whivh then also puts me at maternity risk should i ever get ever get preg. I will phone HR and see where i stand and if its comforting then go straight to my manager,

Thanks ladies for all you responses xx will update you tomorrow. i feel i need to make a stand for usxx


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## karenanna (Dec 27, 2008)

Hi Amy

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news 

The short answer is no - http://www.unisoncapita.org.uk/11.html - your employer doesn't have to let you have paid time off for any hospital appointments - fertility related or not. As others have said your employer may have a policy that does allow some time off, but they don't have to let you have the time.

The only exception I am aware of that is fertility related is paid time off for antenatal care once an embryo is implanted - but this is IVF related so don't think it would relate to treatment with clomid.

Karenanna xxx

/links


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## JJJMommy (Jun 2, 2005)

Hi karen,
I dont mind if i dont get paid time off but just to want to think that i will be discriminated and if i am that i have some sort of law on my side, financially although it will cause a few problems of unpaid leave that isnt my main worry but thank you for your reply x



karenanna said:


> Hi Amy
> 
> Sorry to be the bearer of bad news
> 
> ...


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

Here are a couple of links that might help you find the info you need

http://www.acas.org.uk/
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/cabdir.ihtml

If you still needed access to the work issues board you need to fill out the form on this page
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/component/option,com_contact/task,view/contact_id,1/Itemid,159/

/links


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## JJJMommy (Jun 2, 2005)

Hiya Ladies

Well i done it, i told my manager. I thought i would feel better and while she said i could flexi hour my days at work, she wasnt happy i went to HR first before her and now i feel rude?

She also managed to reel off a list of "things ive done wrong in my job" i.e mistakes but theyse apparent mistakes happened a month or so ago? nothing she could show me only tell me so im wondering if this is part of the discrimination?
I was late by 2 mins to work last week and she said if i was to ochange my hours how would i manage if i cant be on time now? its not an everyday occurance so it shocked me but now im feeling like they will watch me like a hawk so it would appear to HR that they wouldnt be attacking me over fertility
I feel really crap now and wonder if i would of been better not saying anythin?

Im prepare to prove them wrong however our working environment changes dramatically and anything can happen so am i winning the war on fertility but loosing the battle at work?


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

How have you been getting on at work? 

xx


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## JJJMommy (Jun 2, 2005)

Hiya
Thanks for your check up, Work have been ok and i went for my first tracking today and been told i have to go back on Thursday 
My follies are 15mm & 17mm Im on CD 12 today so as far as knowledge goes, im now lost. Ive been told to BMS tonight and weds night and see what thursday brings
I feel so excited yet nervous to know that this is really complex after all and i just cant get my head round the lining, the follicles the lutual phase anf surge

My boss is not happy about me going on thursday but i asked to work flexi hours and now shes telling me it cant happen as she is away next week which i feel is unfair when she doesnt communicate with me when she has holidays sometimes she doesnt even tell me she is off and im on my own running my department.
If she told me her plans then i could work around them?
x



dakota said:


> How have you been getting on at work?
> 
> xx


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Your follies sound good   

As to work, its a hard one. You could always say you have an hospital appt that's not changable rather then go into detail. What would she do if you were off sick for cover etc? I'm sure the department runs ok then? Try not to let her get you down or make you feel quilty (been there but not fertility related) 

 
Nikki xx


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