# Waving goodbye to the last chance saloon



## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Feeling a little fed up this weekend.  It was our last chance to try and conceive naturally before we start ICSI next month and we blew it.  It wasn't for want of trying, I feel rather embarrassed about how obvious I was but DH just wasn't having it.  

We've been very low pressure and fun about trying around ovulation for a year or so but suddenly this month he completely avoids me.

It seemed like such an amazing month for me too.  I've been taking a thyroid drug and hopefully it's got my levels to where they need to be and I've been on DHEA for quite a while.  All the signs were very positive and even a fraction of a chance would have been worth taking.

Instead, he's grumpy and stressed.  I think that he's feeling the pressure, he took 2 weeks to finally check his diary and say whether he'll definitely come to the next appointment with me but took minutes to look at his plans so that he could go to my step son's event.  

Feeling a bit grumpy about the whole thing myself now.  IVF is daunting and scary for me too, pity that we couldn't have tried this one last time to avoid it  

We were intimate 3 days before I ovulated.  I know that they can live that long but I'm also pretty sure that I read somewhere that vasectomy reversal, low count & high abnormalities are unlikely to


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

How tempting it is to not want to be intimate when DH fancies now  

Urgh, this baby rabies gets old sometimes.  In moments of sanity, I can almost chuckle when I think that, just a short few years ago, I didn't even know when I ovulated, ewcm was an acronym that I'd never heard of, I didn't bother looking for veins on my bbs because I didn't know what a two week wait was was.  Ah, the good old days when supplements meant a simple multivitamin and not 15 tablets a day!

Was there really a time when my temperature was high and it meant nothing more than I was just a bit hot?


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

I remember feeling soo down when we didn't conceive naturally on our last month before we began ICSI.... treatment is exciting, but when you see those needles, omg the nerves don't half kick in - you think your life revolves around temperature charting, cm checking, peeing on a stick for ovulation - going through treatment, it'll revolve around, sniffs, injections, scans and other appointments.

For me ICSI made my dreams come true - I'm hoping it does the same for you - we're all entitled to down days, thats why we're here - we understand and send hugs

Sheila


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## nevergiveup1 (Mar 23, 2008)

I did 14 rounds of IVF and the only appointment DH came to was when he needed to provide a sample  . If he doesnt mind, maybe just let him come with when he is needed??

He never came to any transfers... time wise, it made it easier so just one of us needed to take time out.

Then you just need to make an appointment for ovulation days at home    .

I soooo remember the days when my DH didnt want me anywhere near him, he felt used.
and i am an over achiever... !! poor dh!! You will get past this   

Take heart in the fact that sometime in the future your sex life will go back to normal


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

starting icsi or IVF isn't waving goodbye to the last chance saloon it's opening the door to a chance at happiness. It's so much easier than trying naturally with it's constant failures - my DH was great at helping with the injections and stuff, finally there was something practical he could do instead of just constantly insisting everything would be fine. I relaxed, because at last I was being taken seriously that there was a problem and nurses and consultants were working out a plan. There was a protocol to follow, some idea of a timescale....I could stop wishing and wondering and start concentrating on things that would help. it was a huge weight off my shoulders to be able to start our ICSI treatment. The injections are fine, I mean it's a palaver in a way like learning to brush your teeth but you just get into a routine. There are loads of other people going through the treatment so there's company in a way there isn't when you're just sitting at home hoping... other people going for scans or egg collection at the same time... 

men can feel under a lot of pressure about IVF and self-conscious about medical stuff and the idea of providing their contribution... but they can 'step up to the plate' - DH came to almost all my appointments across three cycles of ICSI...he understood that since I had to have the drugs and the potential pregnancy he was just doing his bit. Now of course he's back to drinking and having hot baths, he doesn't have to prep any more injections... but my part isn't over yet... I've been so inspired by how well DH has looked after me it has brought us closer for sure. I have a new respect for him...

good luck and enjoy the next stage of your journey.


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