# been offered surrogacy



## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

Hi,
i dont know what ro.do. still recovering from a missed miscarriage but a friend has come forward and pending her husbands approval/permission has potentially offered to be a surrogate for me. 
i simply dont know.what to do. do i accept her very generous offer or do i start to accept my family extending is over. i have OE/OS. ICSI resulting in 6 yr old. a lot of mc's and 1 shock natural resulting in my nrly 4 yr old. and an 18 yr old from previous marriage. i have done donor embryo 4 times resulting in 2 mc's to add to the 6 natural mc's. last cycle i was.on all the immunes known to man and its little heart stopped beating at 8.3 weeks. i would have been 11 weeks now and pregnancy test are still reading pregnant 2-3. so i still have pregnancy stuff inside me right now


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

Is it too soon to even be thinking about alternative treatments.  i have been looking at surrogacy as an option for the last couple of months but really its a rich mans game and i have run out of money. my friend has assured me she doesnt want to do.it for monetary gain, she wants to.help. she has watched me go.through cycle aftr cycle this last year and i think in a nice way she feels sorry for me. She has 5 children already. i worry she wont be able to hand baby over (if her husband says yes) because she loves kids so much. i also worry about legal implications. this could all be hypothetical though aa her hubby could well say no.
what to do? 
xxxx


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## Dudders (Jun 18, 2012)

Hi Jade,

Everything is so fresh and raw at the moment.  I think you probably need some time to let the dust settle a bit first, but I think from your second post that you do realise that yourself.

I have always been a planner and after losing our babies last year, part of the healing process for us was planning our next cycle.  But, surrogacy is a massive leap from there, so so many implications - emotions, finances, legalities.  I know it's a bit of hope for you, but I think you're just to close at the moment to make a clear decision.

Just take a little time and grieve first, and see how the land lies in a few weeks


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

Thanks dudders.
well.an update. it is hypothetical as her husband has said yes to the surrogacy, no to using her eggs. as my eggs are shot. so thats that then!
guess my baby days are over. i wont forget her kindness in offering though. 
xxxx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Have you considered doner eggs and your DH's sperm?


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

Hi jj1

yes we have considered this option and unfortunately after a long and ardous joirney, my money has gone, my mums money has gone and my credit cards are maxed out and im in debt up to my eyeballs, so it really isnt an option, unfortunately. she was ofdering altruistically, but paying for an egg donor and the ivf that results from that is just not a possibility. so her egg, dh's sperm and her body would have been ideal. diy at home and all that. but hey guess thats the way the cookie crumbles :-/ 
thanks though, do appreciate your reply 
xxxxx


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