# Peace and goodwill to the Moving On ladies



## tribble (May 11, 2010)

Hello, 
it's quite a while since I've been on here, I guess I stopped for a while just from being super-busy rather than anything intentional. 
A year ago today I sat here 'talking' to some of you, having taken my 3rd & final pregnancy test following my 3rd and final ICSI treatment that same Christmas Eve morning. In some ways it feels just as raw - the hope that I could tell my family good news as an amazing Christmas present, the hope that the different drugs this time had worked, that us not drinking alcohol for months (years!) had worked, that the acupuncture, the relaxation CDs and the vitamins had worked. All that hope!! Where does it go?

But I wanted to tell you all that it has been up & down but while today/this week feels very difficult, it has got better. I still feel like a freak around everyone else in the world being pregnant, I can still cry out of nowhere, and I still feel sad for the loss of the 6 little ones that I saw on the screen, landing inside me in what I hoped was the start of an amazing journey of many years. Why didn't they - or at least one of them - nestle in & become my family? I will never know why.

But - it has got better. Some days I have the thought - well I don't actually want that anymore anyway. Feels illegal to say that on here! Other days I don't feel like that. But I have many things to enjoy, I have many talents and I have many things to give to life and the world.

I didn't always feel like that, but I want to send all the wishes I can to you all here on this board. The counselling ceetainly did help, for anyone that wonders about trying it.

For all of you, I hope that you can find some more peace within yourselves, I hope you can offer your talents to the world in some way that makes sense to you, I hope those around you are kind enough to give you comfort as you journey through it all, I hope you can go easy and forgive yourselves for how it has worked out. You are still fantastic human beings and each and every woman here should be proud of themselves for persevering with dignity (OK maybe not complete dignity at those worst moments!) and being able to accept when it is time to stop. How many people do you know that have done stuff this hard? 
Be yourselves and be glad to be, you are all fabulous amazing women.
With much peace and goodwill
Mulled wine here I come...
 to everyone 
xxxxx


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## Mamaji (Jan 21, 2011)

Tribble: bless you for your post, your words are deeply touching, i have got silent tears falling down my cheeks.

This IF journey is soooo hard, no matter what form it takes......xmas seems to bring it all into focus doesnt it

I hope santa spreads lots of love and cuddles to everyone xxxxxxxxxx


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## Susan01 (Aug 12, 2009)

Tribble - what lovely kind words.


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