# LGBT journey to parenthood and beyond PART 1



## Herts85

* I hope this allowed, apologies and please delete if not *

I know there is a variety of other threads available but sometimes I like to be in the LGBT 'box' so I thought it would be a nice idea to start a new thread here for the new year.

So in terms of where I'm at: I am currently giving my clinic a kick up the   as we have been ready to start cycling since we were given our IVF drugs in October but the donor sperm still needs sorting. The clinic has been a bit poop so far and it's frustrating that being same sex is creating issues as they haven't dealt with it before so seem to be struggling! 

Anyway that is us. I hope there are more people who would like to post on here and support each other through what is a pretty tough experience anyway without the LGBT element thrown in. (I've been asked twice so far whether my partner has had a sperm analysis and once asked where my husband was when dp was stood next to me and our notes folder had 'same sex' written in marker with stars!!   )

Fingers crossed that 2016 brings us lots of BFP's and babies  

Herts x


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## KDJay

Hi Herts! 

I have also been thinking it would be nice to have an active LGBT thread so thanks for starting this up. Gosh it must be so frustrating for you with all the waiting! Are you having NHS treatment? I'm so impatient that would send me stir crazy. I know what you mean about the LGBT thing, our clinic has been very good but there are a few things they could improve on. We have just undergone intra partner (my eggs, gf oven ) just little things like having consultations with Seperate nurses at the same time so that my gf wasn't there to learn how to do my injections for instance and other little things  

I hope your clinic get their move on and that you get pupo in no time! Do they have their own sperm
Bank what's the delay? Xxxx


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## Herts85

Hi KDJay,

Glad it wasn't just me 

The waiting and lack of plan/structure is driving me insane! I like to know what's going on and when. I also like it to be done yesterday so this is really testing me! We are lucky to be NHS funded due to tubal issues but the lack of knowledge around same sex NHS IVF funding is slowing things massively for us. The clinic has a very small (about 16 people) sperm bank and for extra information plus siblings/changing clinics we would prefer to import from a larger stern bank. Lots of chasing information in the pipeline for me I think!

Are you private? How did you choose your sperm? It sounds awful that you were split up from your gf for appointments. So far we've attended all of them together, I'd hate for my gf to not be involved even though I end up explaining all the bits she missed to her afterwards!  

Intrapartner sounds really interesting, are you going to do it in reverse in the future? We both want to carry a child but if we are lucky enough to have frosties after successful treatment then my gf is happy to carry those.

Sorry bit epic. Hope things go well with your cycle!  

Herts xx


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## KDJay

Hi Herts 

I don't blame you for wanting things done yesterday I would be exactly the same - we were lucky that we had our initial consult in September and are now very early pregnant - would paying for the sperm you want move things along, is this a possibility for you? 

Choosing the donor was really important to me, my dp would have been happy to go along with any donor but I wanted to get it right and now I'm really glad. We went with a UK bank in the end as we didn't want to pay for a pregnancy a lot with ESB and also I felt I was starting to obsess over the pics the ESB give you - I think I like having a bit of info but not to much. We are very happy with our donor and once it was thawed the lab told me the quality was excellent. 

We are lucky in that we always knew that my dp would be the one to carry, it something she has wanted to do all her life it just made sense to use my eggs as the chances were better as I'm younger so we gathered it was best to use our money on the best odds. We have one frostie so maybe I will carry that one but depending on how we go now maybe dp will just do it again. I always had the urge to see her pregnant that's what makes me happy rather than the other way around. 

Just waiting for our first scan now, feel sick with worry and just hope everything is ok Becuase I can't believe it's true and can't start enjoying yet xxxx


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## Herts85

Congratulations to you both, how exciting! I guess the whole journey is just constant waiting - starting, ec, fertilisation, 2WW then scans until due date/baby arriving! Not that I'm wishing it away!

Hope you don't mind me asking - did you go with the London sperm bank and what MOT did you use? There's only one that I could potentially go with at our clinic but he's only MOT5 which really worries me! I know what you mean about too much information. I thought I would want it and photos etc but now I feel like not knowing what the donor looks like is better as I'll never see his face in the child then.

We could pay but I'm not sure whether it would speed things up. Hopefully things are moving now, the clinic replied to my email saying they're looking into it all. It sounds like your journey has been quick, in a way some of our delay has been good as it's helped me get my head around everything. We moved practically from one end of the country to the other 3 years ago so we had to settle in and get used to life down south.

Fingers crossed all is ok on your first scan xxxx


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## sarahsuperdork

Hiya! I'd love to join, we're starting our second IVF cycle next month. We have a son from our first cycle in 2013 (donor was from ESB) but unfortunately two failed FETs last year. We've managed to secure the same donor for this time. Feeling very nervous!

Good luck for the scan KDJay, and hope things start to move faster for you Herts. Delays can be really frustrating when you're ready to get going.


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## KDJay

I know it is just a series of waits! We have a date for our scan next week it is going to drag! 

We ordered it from Brighton Fertility Associates , we didn't know motility or anything like that they don't provide that info prob coz it's all good enough for iui or ivf. When the clinic thawed it they said it was excellent quality. Hopefully things will start moving for you fx! 

Yes I agree about getting ur head round things, although it's been quick from when we got in contact with this clinic we have been talking about this for about a year and a bit and had an initial consult with A different clinic over a year ago but have had tests and an iui in Denmark in the meantime. In that time my mindset has changed so much about all aspects I really wanted to have a known donor at first but my opinion has changed so much on that and now I'm really happy with the way we are going. I totally know what u mean about seeing the donor in the baby xxx


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## Herts85

Hey Sarah, 

Yay that's great news. I was wondering how you were getting on! Was it expensive getting new samples from ESB? 

The delay is definitely frustrating. I'm completely ready now, I think had it happened 6 months ago I wasn't quite 'there' in my head but I am totally ready for mummyhood in 2016! Some friends of ours just had a daughter 2 weeks ago. They did one IUI in March and bam, pregnant! If only everyone could be that lucky! X


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## KDJay

Hiya Sarah!!! Good to speak to someone who has been through it all successfully , hopefully I will be able to pick your brain! How is your little one doing , beautiful name! Xxx


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## Herts85

I bet you're counting down the days til the scan. 

I've been literally agonist over motility, I actually wish that could be taken away for me but now I know about that side of things I need to know! It sounds like you've had quite a journey to get to this point. The whole known/unknown donor issue is really hard. I to and fro with it quite a lot but we're going with anonymous donor. I haven't looked at the Brighton one, maybe I'll have a little nosey at their website now!   xxxx


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## sarahsuperdork

First time success with IUI is very lucky! A lady on my pregnancy/parenting thread had that experience too. It cost around £850 for two samples from ESB including shipping, which wasn't too bad - we consider ourselves very lucky to have had NHS funding the first time around - and storage at our clinic is £270 for a year. We ended up purchasing two samples just in case the first doesn't thaw well; I think that's worst case scenario and unusual but I didn't want to take any chances after our frosties didn't survive their thaw last year.

I don't know anything about motility. Our donor was selected through the NHS the first time, so we had barely any info at all. When A was born, we applied to the HFEA for more infomation (on his behalf) and were sent a lot more but it wasn't until purchasing more samples to cycle again that we were told which donor on the ESB list was ours.

Feel free to ask any questions KDJay! A is wonderful thank you, here's hoping I can come up with a sibling for him.


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## Herts85

That's actually quite a good price. I can't believe how much thought I've had to give to sperm in the last year given how little I've thought about it the rest of my life! I think KDJay is right and too much info/choice is just as bad as too little. I almost wish they had just done the choosing for us but I'm glad to have that small amount of control.

A is beautiful, your profile picture makes me go 'awwwww' every time I see it! X


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## sarahsuperdork

Thank you  We had a choice of 6 potential donors but we weren't given any other details than eye and hair colour, height and weight, occupation and CMV status. I'm CMV negative, so that narrowed things down. One of the donors sounded a little like DW in his eye and hair colour and occupation, so we chose him. Since contacting the ESB and finding out who our donor is on their list, we've been able to view his extended questionnaire and baby photo, and listen to an audio portion. Surreal! A looks nothing like his donor at the moment; he's all me, like a prettier boy version of me.  We picked our donor well, but it was all a shot in the dark so we lucked out.


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## Herts85

That's really nice to know. I do have a small worry of 'what if the child looks like the donor i.e. a complete stranger' I'm sure that won't be the case. I have really strong genes, dark colouring too, so I'm sure I'll win out over the swimmers!  

It must be nice to have the additional details, I am torn between UK and oversea sperm banks as you get so much more info with the ones abroad.

Do you have any cycle dates yet? im going to be short protocol and already have the drugs so once we have sperm sorted we're good to go! X


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## sarahsuperdork

Our nurse consultation is next week so should get some dates in the diary then. I'm waiting on AF (late, as ever) but I'd guess that I'll be ready to start downregging wc 25th Jan and egg collection would be around wc 22nd Feb. Unless the consultant throws me a curveball I'm pretty sure I'll be on long protocol but I'll know for sure next week.


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## Herts85

Sounds about right, AF is always clockwork unless you actually need it on time. I think it took me three attempts to get my day 2 and 21 bloods done! 

Not long for you then! I'm hopeful that we'll have everything in place to cycle by then. I'm not holding out much hope for next AF anymore. Have you done a lot of preparation? Did you do much last time? I've cut down on alcohol, although haven't had any for almost a month due to being unwell, and I'm trying to eat more healthily. Not sure what to do about caffeine, I'm a bit of a tea addict so trying to keep it to 5 cups per day and upping the water throughout the day. X


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## KDJay

Supersarah - that is so lucky that you lucked out with the donor , we had a choice to have an extended profile and almost didn't get it but then I thought what if I decide to get it after we get pregnant and something on there really puts me off. Your little boy looks adorable and like u said very pretty! Looks like u are gonna be ready to go again soon! Good luck with it  

Herts - the place we ordered our sperm from matched my partner with the donor, obviously it is all subjective whether she is similar looking to the donor but apparently she is we will just (fingers crossed) only have to wait 8 months to see!


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## Crazy_frog

Hi, wondered if I could come and join you ladies here? We're waiting on period (anytime you flipping like) to start cycle for sibling for our dd. We're pretty nervous and trying to go withe the flow, but our last cycle kicked us hard. Stressing at moment about scan dates fitting with my work pattern, but hoping managers will continue to be supportive.


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## KDJay

Welcome Crazy Frog! It looks like you have been through a lot so no wonder it is hitting you hard! I was really stressed with work too esp as my clinic was so far away but so far so good! xxx


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## Crazy_frog

Thanks kdjay, I think the complete shock of losing everything shocked us!! 6th cycle, over 5 years and never thought it possible!! Managers have so far been ok
Hopefully all will go well this time. Where are you with treatment?


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## KDJay

Hey Crazy Frog, we used my eggs and my gf had egg transfer. We are currently 5 weeks 2 days pregnant! Waiting on our scan which is a week tomorrow so fingers crossed - it is such a weird time


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## Crazy_frog

Ooh exciting time, hope next week flies for you both! How many embryos did you transfer?


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## Batwood2012

Hi Everyone!

Good luck to everyone in their 2016 Baby journeys. We've read your posts and everyone seems really lovely  

Could me and my wife join on this thread? We started our IVF journey last January (referrals from Doctors, initial tests, appointments, donor selection etc) and were finally at the stage this month to start our first round of IVF. My Wife is having the treatment (and hopefully the plan is for me to carry our second child when the time comes), and we excitedly went in for CD2 bloods, collected all our drugs in preparation. We then got the bombshell in the afternoon that her FSH was too high (13.2) and the cycle would be delayed until next month.

We were not expecting to hear that, so were gutted and a little confused as her initial FSH reading was <10. Has anyone else experienced this? Is there anything we can do over the next 4 weeks to bring down the reading in Feb?

Thanks guys and good luck everyone again


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## KDJay

Welcome Batwood - oh no I bet you were really gutted!!! I'm sorry I don't have any advice to offer, I don't think my clinic even measured my FSH weirdly although I did have it done at the GP previously. 

Crazyfrog - we had two transferred eek! We keep referring to the 'babies' (plural) but are trying to stop ourselves from doing this as it is likely only one has stuck, we keep looking at our pic that the clinic gave us of our two little blastocysts and wondering which one is 'the one' - I'm voting for the one on the right haha!


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## Crazy_frog

Oh batwood, it's really a rollercoaster this whole journey. Hope everything settles and next month is the month for you both. Deep breaths are the only way through the drama I'm afraid. Fingers crossed for you, sorry I've no help!
Kdjay, ooh exciting, you may be surprised yet!! I love the emby photos, never had that last time round, but the last few times we've had the images....first one for the baby book! It's crazy!!


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## Herts85

Hi Batwood - I'm sorry I have no advice on this as my levels haven't been tested since last January. I guess they will be hoping the levels improve on the next cycle, I've heard there can be a lot of variation from month to month. Fingers crossed it's fine for your dw to cycle next month x

Hi Crazyfrog - it sounds like you've had a tough ride, although it must be wonderful to have dd you have certainly been through a lot. Have you been with the same clinic for all of your cycles? I hope your next go gives you a sibling and that your managers remain understanding! X

KDJay - wow so twins could be on the cards! Glad things are still going well for your dp. Scan date will be here before you know it! X


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## Sarahlo

Hi Everyone,

Hope you don't mind if I join you guys!! 

2016 is here, i'm feeling refreshed and i'm ready to start again. Last year was a pretty turmoil year and not just in the fertility world!!.. AF is due in 12 days so waiting patiently to start IUI cycle number 4.

Good luck guys


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## Herts85

Hi Sarahlo, 

It sounds like you had an eventful 2015. Hopefully 2016 is your year. 

In fact I'm hoping for lots of BFP's on here and that 2016 is everyone's year! X


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## Sarahlo

Thanks Herts. I'm looking forward to getting back on track again. When are you starting with IVF? x


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## KDJay

Hi Sarahlo! We have a good number of people on here now  welcome , glad u are feeling refreshed for the new year xxxx


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## Sarahlo

Thanks KD - Good luck with your scan, exciting times


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## Crazy_frog

Herts, it's just a numbers game this whole thing, and not just the money! We are blessed to have our dd and I hope it's ok to be here when weve already had success. We have been with one clinic throughout. However I am certainly loving them less each time cos they get more disorganised every time! 
Sarahlo, I hope2016 is lucky for you, the whole thing is exhausting and stressful at the best of times!!


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## sarahsuperdork

Hi Sarahlo and Crazy frog, wishing you both lots of luck!


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## Sarahlo

Thanks for the warm welcome ladies


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## Herts85

You're very welcome Sarahlo, it's great that there are people joining this thread and can support each other   We are sorting out the donor sperm, once it's in place we'll be good to go. Unfortunately despite having the nurse appt in October and getting sent on our way with the medicines and injections for cycling the clinic have been pretty rubbish at sorting the one outstanding, but fairly important (!), part. Fingers crossed we'll be able to cycle in feb. We're short protocol so it'll be really quick once we start. I'm reluctantly learning the art of patience in all this! X

Crazy_Frog - your clinic sounds as organised as mine! I wonder if there's an unwritten rule that they have to be as disorganised and frustrating as possible, perhaps it's to test how serious you are at becoming a parent!   No issues at all with you having dd and being on here, it's great to hear success stories and I'm sure every cycle is just as daunting whether you are trying for your first child or a sibling. X


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## sarahsuperdork

I actually found our first cycle much less stressful than the subsequent frozen ones, I can't explain why. This time around I can't quite believe I'm doing it again (I said I never would) so I don't really know how I feel at the moment. The whole process seems a lot scarier now than it did!


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## Kirstie713

Hi ladies hope you don't mind If I join you guys  

Hey KDJay I'm not stalking you I promise lol.

Hi Sarahsuperdork hope your well I remember you from September cycle. 

Hope late Afs come quick for you ladies waiting to start. 

After 2nd cycle of Icsi we managed to get our long awaited Bfp  scan in two weeks


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## Sarahlo

Good luck Herts and everyone else for that matter.

Congrats Kirstie on your BFP, good luck with the scan its so exciting.x


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## sarahsuperdork

Congrats Kirstie! How fab to get your BFP. Good luck for your scan.


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## KDJay

Kirstie - I know your not Hun  - we had our ET the same day so our little embies are exactly the same age I love it!


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## Herts85

Hi Kirstie, congrats on your bfp! X

Sarahsuperdork - I hope your second fresh cycle is less stressful than your fet's. I imagine cycling must be so much harder when you have a little one to look after, especially trying not to lift things or knock your tummy after et! X

Thanks Sarahlo, I'm really looking forward to having this thread for support, queries and general letting off steam! X


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## Batwood2012

Hey Kirstie - congratulations on your BFP, that's great news 😃

This is becoming a great, active little group which I'm sure will be a good place to come for advice and friendly chat as all our journeys progress through 2016.

As a follow on to my raised FSH query earlier, I have done some further research today and loads of people swear by wheat grass to lower levels. So, we are off to purchase some tomorrow. It's all natural, so can't hurt to try I guess 👍🏻

Best of luck everyone!


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## Herts85

Thanks for the info Batwood, will tuck that away in case I need it at a future point! Can't say I envy you on the wheatgrass, I remember when the shots of it were all the rage at juice bars, I tried it once and it wasn't the best taste in the world! I think it's different when you have a purpose for it. Fingers crossed it does the trick for you x


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## Sarahlo

Hi Everyone - hope everyone has had a good day so far!!

I'm wishing the next 10 days away so AF can appear and finally get started with cycle 4 😊

I'm going from excited to slightly anxious about this next cycle. I guess since it's the first one after the miscarriage I guess that's a normal feeling. Anyway I'm feeling positive and hopeful this time also x


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## sarahsuperdork

Sorry Batwood I missed your post before; I don't really know anything about FSH though. Glad you've maybe found something to help. I've had mine tested but I think it was ok (nobody ever said otherwise anyway). 

I'm anxious too Sarahlo, I think it's natural anyway and especially so when you're coming off the back of a miscarriage. It must have been devastating for you.


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## Herts85

Sarahlo - it must be so difficult going again after a miscarriage   X

Sarahsuperdork - I can only imagine how anxious you feel about your upcoming cycle. So much pressure! X


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## Sarahlo

Yup wasn't great but tbh summed up most of our year tbh... heres hoping that 2016 is much better 

When are you starting treatment sarahsuperdork? sorry your feeling anxious too, hopefully the anxieties will subside for us both soon!!


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## sarahsuperdork

I should be starting this month (nurse consultation is next week) but I'm still waiting on AF, which is 9 days late now, so it's hard to get a date yet. I'm hoping it'll come in the next few days so I can tell the clinic which day will be CD21 and that's when I'll start. Egg collection in February sometime.


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## Crazy_frog

Good luck batwood with wheatgrass, something new there for us too. Hope it helps and al is good next month. 
Sarahlo and sarahsuperdork, I hope the nerves settle well as much as they can....it's never easy and there's so many feelings that go with it all. 
We're still on watch at the moment, willing it on now when in a few weeks, hopefully, we'll be doing the opposite! It's mental this journey.


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## KDJay

It sure is a rollercoaster!!!! Even for our smooth-ish journey we have felt the highs and lows x


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## Herts85

KDJay - hope everything's going ok for you and your dp x

I think that's my feeling from reading people's journeys - the worry and the waiting never stops, the wait to start, the 2WW, the 6, 12 and 20 week scans, then getting to the end and delivering a healthy baby! I feel like IF/IVF ladies don't get to relax and enjoy being pregnant because eyes always a niggle at the back their mind!

We're hoping to get the CMV blood test done at our clinic this weekend, apparently we can just drop in and get it done! Then hopefully it won't be too long for the result and the clinic to confirm our other queries! Just waiting.....! 

Hope the waiting is over soon for everyone else and the cycling can start  x


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## sarahsuperdork

The worry never ends, and that's totally normal! Even when you deliver, you're constantly thinking 'I don't know how to do this!' and second-guessing yourself. It's all part of motherhood.


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## KDJay

Yes that's what my mum says - the constant worrying and waiting carries on! 

So much for saying we hve had a smooth ish journey - my gf called me in tears at lunchtime as she was bleeding bright red and clots  god we are devastated!!! I have always empathised with others but didn't realise how devastated I would feel right now. She took a shot of progesterone which we had been told to take only if she bled and then she went to the epu for a scan we are only 5weeks 4 days . The dr said they couldn't see what was causing the bleed but there are two of them in the right place so time will tell if they grow/stick around


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## sarahsuperdork

Oh KDJay I'm so sorry you're having such a worry, everything crossed that those little ones are snuggled in and just giving you both a fright.


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## Crazy_frog

Oh kdjay, it's so scary. Hope everything settled down for your gf and you. It's great that they scanned, everything crossed for you over next few days, was scan planned for next week? Hope she can take it easy this weekend and look after herself. (Also worth noting that bleeds are more common with twins). This journey certainly changes all of us, hold on tight for the bumps and take each step as it comes. Will be thinking of you.


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## Herts85

KDJay -   Hopefully no more scariness for you and your dp. Eeek twins, how exciting! Will keep my fingers crossed for good news on your next scan! I've heard bleeding is really common in twin and IVF pregnancies so you've got a double whammy! I guess it makes sense after all the poking around they do x


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## KDJay

Thank u ladies !


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## Sarahlo

KD fingers crossed for your girls. It's a constant worry from the start and it doesn't end as everyone has said. Hoping for a positive turn out for you both. xx


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## mrsww

It's nice to see this thread busy. 

This time last year my wife and I were choosing sperm and trying to find best price for medications.  I never believed it would work but we now have a fire cracker of a daughter who is now ten weeks. I'd so like to try for another baby but can't see us being able to afford it.

Good luck with all your treatments and may 2016 be a BFP year.


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## KDJay

Wow mrsww congrats!!!! That's so encouraging to hear! How is ur daughter ? 

This is becoming a lovely little group - thanks Herts for getting it going xxx


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## Herts85

Mrsww - that's so lovely to hear, congratulations on the birth of your daughter and thank you for giving us some hope of everything turning out well! I hope you stick around for the many questions I'm sure will crop up! X

KDJay - thanks lovely, to be honest I just thought I'd see if anyone else was out there as I hadn't seen much go on in this section of the site. So glad I did as there is now a lovely group going and I can see this being very useful for me as things progress! I hope your gf hasn't had anymore bleeding, is it next week you have your scan? X


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## Divas212

Hi,
Hope you don't mind me joining!

We have been on the iui/IVF/fet journey for a while now and I'm currently 32w1day 😊, with our little boy! What a journey it is, we had a successful iui at the fourth attempt that ended in mc at 7.5 weeks and a successful IVF but again mc at 5.5 weeks. At the start of this pregnancy I had a bleed with clots and it turned out to be implantation do they thought but I did bleed on and off for a few weeks, easy for me to say now but try not to worry too much KD....there is no way of knowing what is going on and no way of preventing anything from happening.....but this forum was a god send as we slowly drove ourselves mad!!

Mrsww congrats on your dd so happy for you X

We are slowly trying to get prepared for our arrival and are finally getting there after the unexpected boiler break and needing a new one and storm damage leaving us with having to get a new roof ha never just rains excuse the pun! Picked up the pram & car seat today too and it was then it hit us both (aside from the huge bump) that this is really happening lol it's surreal, you see your little one on the scans, go to all the appointments, watch your body change but don't really believe it....anyway i understand the roller coaster and hope I can be of some help/support and would like to wish you all bfp in 2016!!

Ps KD hang on in there x


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## KDJay

Oh wow divas, welcome to the group it sounds like u have been on a complete roller coaster but congrats on your impending baby!!! I can't imagine how surreal it must feel after all the effort of trying to get to this point. Can't believe u have all that going on as well with the roof/boiler! Thanks for the reassurance it really does help, I feel I've card down a bit today and feel more positive after reading a thread about bleeding with twins which seems very on so hopefully we fall into that category too. Xxxx


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## Divas212

Thanks KD!! All you can do is wait and I can tell you the worry never ends, in the early days of my pregnancy we lived in two week stints for the scans until 12 weeks, then when we past the 12 week Mark we couldn't relax until we hit 24 weeks and then the obsessing about counting the kicks began ha now we say we won't relax until he is in our arms but the reality is then we'll have the most worry are we doing this right, is he safe, is the temp right.... Never ending worry until he is 30!! All I can say to you is try to enjoy it despite the worry your gf is pregnant and don't be googling everything coz any symptom can relate to lots of scenarios and it just gets you all wound up, it's hard but your gf will be needing you to be the strong positive one coz she will be a bundle of hormones and if anything like me stressing that she isn't eating right, doing too much, blaming herself for the hint of a bleed, when in reality you'll both be doing everything right and it's just a matter of a waiting game so good luck 😊. When we were really stressed and had our first few scans I remember the lady at the clinic saying 'oh I do wish our IVF ladies could enjoy their pregnancies, coz none of you ever do' lol sooo exciting for you guys with twins....good luck with the pram shop when it comes to it, we were absolutely clueless but you soon get into it all haha 

As for the house renovations my DW has been absolutely amazing, especially preparing it all for the decorators and the cleaning after all the plastering and sanding ha that stuff gets everywhere!!


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## mrsww

Divas, congratulations. I'm so excited for you and your wife. 

My daughter is a fire cracker so little but a strong personality. We had a somewhat rough pregnancy with growth issues for her and the me with high blood pressure. She arrived at 38 weeks by emergency c section due to failed induction because my waters broke. She was a tiny 5lb5oz. We then had feeding issues because of a tongue tie which we had treated at six weeks. I was also re admitted back to hospital for pre eclampsia. I am now in talking therapy as first step for post natal depression, I'm trying to hold off on medications. Sleep is rare over the course do a week am averaging five broken hours a night. It's all quite a stress on my wife and I relationship we will work it out but it's tricky right now. We don't have any help from family or friends which is difficult. Right now G my baby is having skin to skin on me and feeding and sleeping but every so often she looks up at me and gives me the biggest smile that my heart just grows even more. 

Will keep popping back here. It's such an amazing journey. Fertility treatment makes the whole having a baby process much more intense.


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## Herts85

Hi Divas - sounds like you've had quite a journey to get to this point. Congratulations, I'm sure it will fly by until you get to hold your little boy. Hopefully there'll be no more major house issues for you to deal with! X

Mrsww - sorry to hear that you've had a tough time of things. I imagine dealing with a baby's tongue tie could be quite frustrating. Great news on the talking therapy for PND, I did a cognitive behavioural course with a psychologist about 5 years ago to deal with stress, depression and anxiety. It was the best option I could've chosen and I only wish I'd gotten help sooner. I still use the techniques from it and didn't need any medication. Hopefully your talking therapy will help you through it without needing medication. Although if you do it's only temporary.   X

KDJay - good to hear you are calmer and feeling more positive. Hope there isn't any more bleeding x


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## Crazy_frog

Getting busy here now, which is great except my dodgy memory isn't fab so sorry if (when) I forget stuff. 
Kd, as everyone has said step away from Google!! You'll go mad. Hope everything is settling for your gf and wait isn't too long till scan. 
Mrsww congratulations on both of your little one, it's hard journey and it doesn't get easier. Glad talking therapy was offered and hoping it helps you avoid medication. Sometimes we give ourselves such a hard time because this is what we've worked so hard to get to, that we don't believe we're allowed to feel anything but happy. It's normal to feel all is not wonderful, all of time and sounds like you're getting good support. Relationships also change dramatically but it settles and it makes you stronger. 
Divas it sounds like you've had a pretty dramatic time as well, hope everything getting better and you're sounding very prepared! Not long till lo is in your arms now!
We are now out of the starting blocks, period arrived and beginning scans this week. Drugs coming in few days so exciting but nervous too.


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## Sarahlo

hello lovelies 

Hope everyone had have a nice weekend. KD really hope things are settling down for you both. it is scary times with the unknown and I wish you both all the best. I really do think it's so different for everyone what they experience in these situations but stay positive. 

AF is due a week tomorrow and for once i cant wait. I always had a regular cycle before the misscarriage so hoping nothing has changed. but hey if she arrives a few days earlier like this week that's good enough for me 🤗


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## Divas212

Mrsww- wow sounds like you've both been through it, I agree the whole process of IVF and pregnancy is a massive strain on a relationship, that's what has surprised us both in that it isn't all flowers and roses but you get there in your own ways. I'm glad you recognised the pnd and receiving help for it and tbh it's no surprise after everything we go through without csection, Hospital admission and toungue tie.... Not to put anybody off or anything but it's bloody tough, I remember my wife coming home from work saying one of her colleagues had fertility treatment and for us to be prepared for a hell of a roller coaster, we had absolutely no idea!! 

Our little man is currently weighing 4lb and from the last scan has massive feet haha and looks very much like our nephews as far as we can tell comparing their baby pics to his 3D scan, it's all exciting but I'm dreading the sleepless nights especially when my wife is at work as she works super long shifts (13.5 hrs) with overnight on calls so could literally be at work for 24 hours solid although she only does 3 days a week it'll be tough!! We have it planned though (although nothing goes as planned ha) she wants to help out even when working but she is in a physically & mentally draining job (anaesthetics) so we will just go with the flow! We won't get much help from family and tbh I'm a bit of a control freak!! 

Your lg sounds amazing, I'm liking the sound of the strong personality your going to have fun when she's a teenager haha!!


----------



## dojiejo

This is a great thread. Good luck to everyone cycling this year. I just wanted to say don't give up hope. I am currently 36 +5 weeks pregnant with our first baby. We ended up having 6 medicated IUI cycles, 1 cycle was cancelled as I had 3 follicles, so we had 5 actual IUI complete cycles. I was losing hope by our last cycle and we were about to go to IVF! My DW and I starting to get everything sorted and can't believe we are nearly at the finish line.


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## poppy05

Evening ladies
It's nice to see some activity on the LGBT board! we are pretty quiet on here so im going to allow the cycle buddy thread to stay here, hopefully more people will find us and join in the fun   
I am your mod here so if there is anything i can help you with then please dont hesitate to contact me.


And just to add, dw and myself have finished our ivf journey, you can see my story in my signature, however we are just waiting for the paperwork to come through to start our adoption journey.
Exciting times ahead for alot of us on here, and i wish you all lots of luck and babydust   


poppy xx


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## Divas212

Poppy an exciting time for you beginning the adoption process....I work in fostering so may be able to help if you have any questions regarding assessment process, which can also be tough going. That's the same route we would have gone if this hadn't been a success x


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## poppy05

Ah thats helpful to know, thankyou divas, we are hoping to to go down the foster to adopt route, so im sure i will be bending your ear over the coming weeks    its such a new area for me, i could sit all day and talk to people about ivf, but i know nothing really about adoption, our bestfriends are just starting stage 2 so its handy to have people close to us who we can ask advice from.
Not long now until your little man arrives, how exciting


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## Divas212

No worries if I can help I will, if I can't I'll try and find out from my colleagues....but only 5 weeks left at work thankfully, getting tired now! We're so excited for his arrival but need this house finishing!!! X


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## Herts85

Hi Poppy05 - thanks for letting this thread stay here, it's exciting how many people have already found it and started talking! Sorry to see that your treatment journey didn't end positively but as you say there's more to being a mum then pregnancy. I hope 2016 is your year X

Hi Dojiejo - Congratulations, it's great to see someone else who has had success. It must be a case of potentially any day now for you? X

Exciting times Crazy_Frog, I think you're the first one to get going, are you short protocol? X

Sarahlo - do we all need to do af-dances for you?   hoping the witch doesn't play games with you and you can start your cycle soon x

Divas212 - your 4D scan sounds amazing! Strange to think he's already a 'good size' my nephew had to be induced 5 weeks early and was 4lb something weight but full length so he looked like a wrinkly old man!   Anaesthetics sounds like a gruelling but cool job, does that mean you know all the right code words to get the special treatment for an epidural (should you want one)!  x


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## Divas212

Herts85 - our little man made it to the 'naughty baby board' for our 4d live scan as he had his hands, feet and at one point the cord in front of his face, despite us doing everything to try to get him to move lol although the sonographer managed to get a quick picture of his face for us, we're going again on wens to see if he's moved out of the breach position fx!! My wife loves her job, I think you have to in that kind of job to be so committed and deal with the stuff they see. But yes she has a lot of friends, I really don't want an epidural or a section, but at the same time keeping my options open and going with the flow, if this IVF journey has taught me anything it's to expect the unexpected lol my wife has worked in the hospital I'm giving birth in and knows our consultant obs surgeon very well, in fact the first time we saw him in clinic they had a bit of a catch up as she did when we saw the midwife, it's a bit strange for her to be honest, 'being in the know' I think she's more scared of the labour than I am and I'd rather not know her fears 😬 Haha, I'm sure it'll all be fine.....


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## Crazy_frog

Hi poppy, hope next part of your journey goes smoothly.
Divas, being on the inside of the hospital can be scary in a different way. I'm a nicu nurse so see lots of deliveries/ babies. 
Herts we are indeed short protocol so getting ready for madness now!


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## Divas212

Crazy - that's true, but we must remember for every bad case there are hundreds of good ha 😊


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## SillyWrong

Hey  I'm so pleased I found this bit!  Throughout our treatment I've always been on and off these forums.  I find the info and support invaluable but get so overwhelmed with the sheer volume of people and trying to keep up!

So my wife and I are doing reciprocal ivf; her bun, my oven.  History in my sig so I won't bore you with that!  She started stimming on Friday and is in for bloods tomorrow morning to see whether to start the cetrotide - EC will be Monday or Tuesday next week.  Mixed feelings about it - we started off so positive, now it's just pure fear!  We'll get through it though, whatever happens!  We're currently choosing donors - we decided not to go again with the original donor as it seemed to make sense to change something from previous cycles.  Literally just received an email from the clinic with profiles to look at - having a little sneak peek before we get to talk them over together tonight!

I've just read back through the last couple of pages to try and get to know you all a bit.  I'm usually rubbish at personals and they stress me out worrying about trying to get it right for everyone ... but for the sake of saying my first hello ......

Herts - thanks for thinking to start this thread! 

KD - my heart's in my mouth for you.  Fingers crossed.

Divas - how exciting to have a little fella on the way!  It sounds like you've been through a hard journey getting there though.

Mrsww - oh it sounds like you've been through the mill, I can't imagine.  Well done on being proactive with the pnd, I hope things start to get a bit easier for you

Crazy - it feels good to get off the starting blocks doesn't it!  We're on short protocol too - I love how quick it goes (our first cycle was cancelled after 18 days of failed DR!)

Sarah - I'm sorry to read about your mc.  I hope you're feeling positive for the future!

Dojie - so close! so exciting!!! Eeee, keep us posted! 

Poppy - Hi!  Thanks for keeping the thread - if a cycle buddy thread shouldn't be here then perhaps we could get around it by simply renaming it to be something more appropriate!  DW and I  have agreed that this is our last ivf cycle too - so will move on to adoption if unsuccessful.  Adoption was actually my first choice but dw wanted us to try first (not getting any younger) and potentially adopt later.  I'd love to follow how it goes for you.


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## SillyWrong

Oh ... just read through one of the sperm donor profiles, really like it (gave me butterflies that it could be the one!) ... but he's given so much info, I feel like a quick google and I could find him!  That feels dangerous!


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## poppy05

Hey sillywrong
Good luck with your cycle, be positive, we are all here to support you, its a scarey time, but also exciting.
My dw always thought she would adopt so when i said i wanted to try one last ivf (i had already done 3 with my previous parner) she went into panic mode lol, but we are both now glad we tried, and feel we are entering the world of adoption as equals, and for the right reasons.
Im letterbox watching right now, i just want my forms!!!! im so impatient,   


Also im happy to change the name of this thread, but it has seemed to attract quite a few people, i suggest we leave it as it is for now, and possibly change it once we have established, cycle buddy threads are supposed to be kept within that board, however as LGBT mod i do feel that we can have our own thread in here, as we are pretty quiet, and sometimes the cycle buddy boards can get so very busy, alot of ladies give up posting.


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## poppy05

Our posts crossed sillywrong, we knew everything about our donor, even had photos of him, i felt it a bit odd to start with, but then i tried to put myself in the shoes of a donor conceived person and felt that if our child wanted to know certain information we had it right there to offer, we felt our child would never have to live life wondering.
I felt really sad the day i threw out the disc that contained all his information, he was part of our journey without even knowing it. xx


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## KDJay

Sillywrong - is he a UK based donor? I found that having too much info was too much for me as I am so indecisive that it was a nightmare to choose when I could see pics. our donor is based in the same city as us so that's a bit weird and I have thought about him since we got our BFP although when I mentioned it to dp she said she hasn't thought about him at all! lol


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## SillyWrong

Oh yeah I want as much info as we can get our hands on!  It would be lovely to be able to talk to our children about the donor, and to be able to discuss with them why we chose who we chose!  It's just this profile gives away quite a lot about himself - he lives locally and owns his own business, which would be easy to google.  I also got the impression he's gay so there's potential for friends in common!  I just feel the opportunity to bump in to him (or track him down - out of curiosity!) is huge!


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## poppy05

Is there the option to use a different sperm bank? we used xytex in usa xx


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## Divas212

We don't know anything about our donor, other than height, eye colour and complexion. I do find it a little strange if I'm honest but we are going to make a life story book for him in an age appropriate way, like the adoption children have. He will always know that a very kind man did a very nice thing to help us..... If he decides to try to contact him at 18 then he will have both our support, it's very important to us that he has a male figure in his life uncles and grandads to fulfil that male role, I worry that he may have a longing for a 'dad' but  I think my job will help in addressing any issues that arise. We really didn't want a known donor though (many of our friends offered) but we just felt that wasn't for us and had the potential to ruin friendships....personal choice x


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## Crazy_frog

Hi sillywrong ive read your blog before, hope you're doing ok and nice to see you here. Hope everything goes well with bloods etc and that this is the cycle for us all. 
Divas yeah when we were preggo last time, I repeated endlessly that most babies do not go to nicu! But it's also mad that I know if I should need to visit them, I'd want t to be my team!
We got minimal details, height hair colour etc, but once dd was born we applied for more info. We got a pen letter with his information, handwriting etc on which was interesting. We are using the last vial of the same donor this cycle. We also didn't want known donor for similar reasons to Divas.


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## Herts85

Divas - sounds like your little man is already full of personality! Hopefully he'll turn round for you and give you more of a peek next time! I imagine it's scary for your wife having all that knowledge. I'm working on ignorance being bliss but have a friend who was a midwife so have already heard an awful lot of stories! The idea to create a book is great, I told my gf I would want to do that if we're lucky as I think it's better to be something that is always known by the child X

Crazy_frog - wow nicu nurse must be such an emotional job. We will be short protocol too which pleases me, I think the length of dr would do my head in plus I'm a little worried I wouldn't switch back on! X

Sillywrong - welcome, sorry to hear about your previous cycles, hopefully this is the one! Weirdly your description of the donor profile you like sounds exactly like ours! The goosebumps/butterflies feeling is amazing though, like falling in love! Our donor sounds wonderful, ticks every box and has written a truly beautiful message to future child/ren. He's almost perfect except his samples are MOT5 which is putting me off fully committing - any success stories would be greatly appreciated! X

Poppy05 - I'm happy for the name to be changed, I'm sure people would find it. I know I was regularly checking this section before I started this thread. I felt a little sad reading your line about the donor being part of your journey and not knowing, it sums up their involvement completely! Hope your forms arrive soon! X

KDJay - that's interesting that your dp hasn't really thought about it. I guess people deal with it differently! X


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## SillyWrong

We looked in to all kinds of options for sperm and using the bank at our clinic was by far the best option.  Buying from abroad, we'd have to buy enough to make a sibling in the future and the cost of all that as an initial outlay wasn't feasible on top of what we're paying for the IVF.  Plus, when we buy sperm from our clinic, they automatically use ICSI at no extra charge, which would cost an extra £1k if we weren't using their bank.  They have us over a barrel!  We talked over the profile last night and have decided we are happy to go with that one (DW got the butterflies too!) ALTHOUGH she's finding it hard to make a decision on these hormones and so has asked to see more profiles just by way of comparison, so that she can know she's made the right decision. We'll see what today brings (fingers crossed they don't send any other serious contenders and confuse matters!) 

DW went for her blood tests this morning so see how the stimms are working, so we should have a better picture this afternoon of exactly which day EC should be.

Hope you're all getting on OK.  
KD, how's your gf getting on?  When's the scan? 
Herts, that would be weird if we were both looking at the same profile!  Is yours with your clinic or abroad?


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## Divas212

Crazy-frog - who did you apply to for more info on donor? Just in case we decide to try to find out a little more for little boy. Our clinic care sourced our sperm for us so not sure if they have their own bank or where they use? X


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## Crazy_frog

Divas you can apply to hfea, there's information on their websites and you need to provide id, this can be done once lo arrives. 
Herts, it's emotional at times but I love it!
Sillywrong hope all ok with donor selection. I agree they do have us all over a barrel with whole thing!
So we're off!! Clomid for 5 days, rescan Saturday before gonal starts.


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## Herts85

Sillywrong - It's ok, I think we're looking at different profiles!! We're going to be using the clinics sperm bank for a lot of the reasons you outlined. Although weirdly my clinic apparently still charges for icsi even when it's their sperm bank. Having said that no one there ever seems to know the correct/definitive answer so the person telling us may have been mistaken! Your poor dw, I understand wanting to make sure but ultimately it's just a huge decision! Sometimes I wish it wasn't in our hands and the clinic just did it! X

Divas - hope you get more information if you decide to request it. We had bare basic details on an excel spreadsheet and I happened to ask if they could check whether they had anything more. My expectation level was not very high but they came back with a beautiful letter he had written for the parents and child/ren! X

Crazy_Frog - hope everything goes well, how exciting to be on your way! X

KDJay - hope things are going ok for you and your gf x


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## Sarahlo

Hi Everyone

So AF made her grand appearance this morning 4-5 days earlier than was expecting. I guess cycle still getting back to normal after the miscarriage. Anyway that means I'm off the starting blocks for my 4th IUi 2nd medicated and first since the miscarriage. Baseline scan booked in tomorrow then hopefully starting 50mg clomid again tomorrow days 2-6!! Excited and nervous at the same time!!

Hope everyone is doing ok xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck for your scan tomorrow Sarahlo, hope everything is well. Exciting to be starting again. 

We had our nurse consultation yesterday but still no AF (two weeks late!) so I'm being scanned tomorrow with a view to taking provera to induce one.


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## Divas212

Crazy & Herts - thanks, it's definitely something to consider!!

We have just got back from our 4d live scan and again our little man was hiding behind his feet but we managed to get him to move and omg he has the most adorable lips and super chubby cheeks, it was lovely, we even saw his grumpy frown for waking him up haha he wasn't impressed at all but so so so cute 😊 💙👶


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## KDJay

Oh wow Divas that sounds absolutely amazing!


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## Sarahlo

Thanks Sarahsuperdork.

Divas sounds such an amazing experience. Hope one day I get to experience it too 🤗

Good luck tomorro KDJay I really do know what your both going through. Nerve recking times but fingers crossed for a good outcome for you both x


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## KDJay

thank you all

Sarahlo - thank you, I am up and down. sometimes feel it happens to lots of ladies that go one to have success and then sometime i feel so negative. It literally shifts by the hour! I hope I can update all you lot with good news tomo!!! Fx !


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## Sarahlo

Yes that's true and it's literally a waiting game and that's hard. I had a very tough 3 weeks before it was confirmed as mine was missed. 
Hoping to hear some good news off you tomorrow


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## KDJay

thank you sarahlo -  that sounds awful for you  

xxx


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## Divas212

KD - will be thinking about you guys tomoz, is it a blood test or scan tomoz? Has the bleeding settled? Remember at the beginning of this pregnancy I had quite a few episodes of bleeding so it can be normal x


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## KDJay

Hey divas , it's a scan at 6weeks 3 days eeeeek! I hope the bleeding was nothing major just like u - yes the bleeding has stopped but she is on gestone now so that's probably stopped it


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## Divas212

Fx let us know how you get on, I was on progestrone too until about 13 weeks ish, the suppository ones that wasn't very pleasant lol x


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## sarahsuperdork

Thinking of you KDJay, hope the scan goes well tomorrow.


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## Herts85

Sarahlo - exciting times ahead for, hope it all goes well and that there's a sticky BFP waiting for you at the end of this cycle x

Sarahsuperdork - typical that af goes awol this month! Hope your scan goes well tomorrow and that the witch puts in an appearance for you! X

Divas - that sounds amazing, I bet you can wait to see it with your own eyes in a few weeks! X

KDJay - I really hope you're updated us with good news tomorrow, will be thinking of you both   X


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## poppy05

Sarahlo good luck for your scan, fingers firmly crossed for you this month   


divas, oh wow how exciting, i bet it was absolutely amazing to see your baby boys little face, those 3D scans amaze me   


KDjay hope all goes well tomorrow, ive been following you on the egg share thread too, i dont often post there, but i do read the posts daily, sending you loads of positive vibes,   


sarahsuperdork how annoying af has disappeared!! hope she arrives asap,   


I had an email today, the social worker has put our forms in the post today!! fingers crossed they come tomorrow, i just want to get started!!


Let me know if any of you think of a new name for our thread and i'll change it xx


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## Sarahlo

Thanks everyone!! I'll report back after the baseline!!

KDJay again good luck sending positive vibes xx


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## Crazy_frog

Good luck Sarahlo with this cycle, hope scan tomorrow is good to start. 
Divas sounds like your little man is enjoying hiding from you!! It's amazing seeing the 4d and our dd looked just like her scan. 
Kdjay fingers crossed for you both tomorrow.


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## KDJay

Thank u everyone! 

Poppy - exciting times for u!!!


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## Crazy_frog

Poppy I missed your news, sorry, how exciting to be starting. I hope it's a smooth process.


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## Sarahlo

Morning Everyone!!

Baseline scan was great everything looked fine / normal even my tiny polyp looked to have gone too!! Starting with 50mg Clomid tonight.. aaaaand she's off the blocks yay 🤗

Hope all is well KDJay thinking of you both xx


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## KDJay

sarahlo - well done that's good news for you! 

Thank you - it is going to be a looooong day


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## Sarahlo

Thanks. What time is you scan? x


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## KDJay

3pm argh!!!! Wished I had booked it for the morning now but I didnt want to go back to work so thought I would do it for the end of the day so I could be with dp after xxx


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## Sarahlo

That was a good call KDJay because you don't know what to expect and it's best to be able to go home after just in case it's not the news you want to hear. But fingers crossed all will be well!! x


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## Crazy_frog

Sarahlo glad all good to start for you too. 
Kdjay not too much longer, hopefully you'll both be celebrating tonight. Try to stay positive, will be thinking of you.


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## KDJay

Thanks ladies, will keep the positivity up - just imagining letting everyone know good news this afternoon!!!!


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## SillyWrong

Sorry I've been awol for a day or so and missed a couple of pages!  Hope you're all doing OK.

KD - I guess you've had your scan this afternoon, oh I have everything crossed for you both.

Poppy - amazing news about the forms being on their way.  Another step on its way to being done!  What are yours and DP's thoughts on who you'd like to adopt?  

Sarah - great you're off the blocks! Just remind me (sorry!) is it IVF you're doing or IUI?  I don't know what clomid is for, we've never used it at any stages of our treatment!  What's your timeline looking like now?  

AFM: DW has her scan tomorrow morning to say when to trigger and whether EC will be Monday or Tuesday.  Exciting stuff!  It's going so quick!  I just called and said I'm going to be a little late home and she's had a strop because I'm not there to prep her jabs for her!! (All in jest).  We picked our sperm!  Woo!  Donor coordinator said he looks a bit like James Dean! Ha ha!


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## sarahsuperdork

Sarahlo glad your baseline scan went well. I always find it gets easier the further along you go because it feels like you're doing something more than waiting!

SillyWrong that's so exciting, Mon/Tue are so close now. 

KDJay hoping you have some good news by now. 

Poppy did your forms arrive today?

I had a scan today but no cysts so it's a mystery as to what has happened to AF. After a bit of prodding the clinic are going to retest my thyroid so there might be a bit of a delay in starting now... sigh! Better to get it right though.


----------



## Sarahlo

Hi SillyWrong - I'm doing IUI medicated cycle with Clomid. Just a boost really to hopefully get more than one follicle so better chances!! Last time I ended up having to have a follicle reduction though as mine went a little crazy with the tablets and I was on the lowest dosage aswell. I had 6 taken away and left 3. I'm doing the same protocol as last time so hoping for 2 or 3 follicles this time and hopefully without needing a reduction 😊


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## Sarahlo

Ah bless you Sarahsuperdork - fingers crossed you get going soon enough!! Yeah I was a little worried what they may have found after my miscarriage but all looked good thankfully. back for scan next weds and popping my Clomid pill tonight 😊


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## SillyWrong

sarahsuperdork ... argh it's a nightmare when you have these delays.  You have absolutely the right attitude though, better to have the delay now than to barge in all guns blazing and get a BFN.  Incidentally, I think I recognise you from when I first joined, for some reason you stuck out in my mind (probably because you were the first f/f couple I noticed on here!!) did you have your treatment in Leeds?  And I might be making this last bit up, but are you based in Manc?

sarahlo - oh I see.  Gosh, big reaction to the meds then!! So how long will it be now til your IUI, a couple of weeks?  It's good to be at the start of a cycle, having it all ahead of you!

Right I'd better get off or i'll never get away.  Have a good eve everyone x


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## Divas212

KD - any news? Been thinking about you both all day, I'm going off the no news is good news ideology x


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## sarahsuperdork

Yes we're at Leeds SillyWrong, also based near Leeds as well.


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## KDJay

Thanks divas for the thoughts and everyone else - scan went well we saw a heartbeat and measured right on our dates 6weeks 3 days - the other one is a blighted ovum but we are wet relieved to be blessed with one heartbeat - thank u everyone for ur well wishes , still not home yet xxx


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## KDJay

Haha not wet relieved !!!


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## Divas212

Awwww KD hope it's not too bitter sweet..... Lovely seeing that heartbeat though 😊


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## Crazy_frog

Kdjay, mixed feelings are normal. Just be kind to yourselves and look after each other. Wonderful that little one is good. Really pleased for you.


----------



## sarahsuperdork

So glad you've had some good news KD, that doesn't mean to say it isn't upsetting to lose one at this stage but amazing that you've seen one little heartbeat already!


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## KDJay

We had wound ourselves up that there wouldn't even be one heartbeat so we were very relieved and I saw straight away the other one was empty xxx thank u for all you support let's hope this one sticks with us, we have our next scan in three weeks


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## Divas212

KD - I warn you it'll feel like the longest 3 weeks of your life, look after yourself and your gf it's so tough xx


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## poppy05

Ah KDjay thats wonderful news, i bet you were both so so relieved to see that little heartbeat, i hope the next 3 weeks dont drag too much for you,   


No post today    surely they will come tomorrow?    god i hate waiting!!


----------



## Sarahlo

Great news KDJay so pleased it went well 🤗


----------



## Herts85

KDJay - that's great news, hopefully you have a strong little one in there who is looking forward to meeting their mummies in a few months time! So sorry to hear about your second embaby   My friend had a little boy last year (hetro couple, normal conception) and ended up having an early scan which showed two but only one at the 12 week scan, she went on to have a healthy little boy. Apparently it is very common but I guess a lot of people would have no idea what is going on in the early stages. Fingers crossed that the next 3 weeks go smoothly along with the rest of the pregnancy x

Poppy - I hope your forms arrive soon, it must very exciting knowing things are moving but frustrating that they're not moving more quickly! X

Sarahlo - sounds like it's all systems go for you! Follicle reduction doesn't sound pleasant, fingers crossed you don't have to go through it again this time x

Sillywrong - great to hear your dw will be having ec soon, I guess you should be pupo by the end of the week! Hope it all goes well and James dean gives you some good embryos   x

Sarahsuperdork - sorry to hear you have more delays. I guess after all the effort you've put in so far it's worth a short delay to make sure everything is in tiptop condition. X


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## SillyWrong

sarahsuperdork - I feel like a bit of a stalker now! ha ha! I think I just remember seeing you on here when I first joined and feeling all hopeful because you're a ff couple with a baby! "I want that!!"

Aaawww KD, I'm so pleased so you got to see a little flickery heart beat! I was thinking of you guys all day yesterday.  

Poppy - the postie have anything for you today?

We went in for our scan and bloods this morning.  They thought initially that EC might be Monday or Tuesday but now she thinks it might be more likely to be Wednesday.  She has 20 nice follis (most of which were between 12-14mm) so they've said that she'll probably be asked to come back in for a scan Monday, though waiting to see the blood results first.  Should know by the end of the day. 

Happy Friday everyone!


----------



## PGTips

Hello everyone. Please can we join you? We got our positive pregnancy test on 30th December and are anxiously waiting for our scan next week to see if things are progressing. It was our 5th & final try & still can't quite believe it might actually be happening despite 5 tests to prove it!! My partner & I have done infra partner egg sharing as mine are waaaayyyy out of date! It's been really nice to read some of your stories & would be fab to be involved if you'll let us stay x


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## poppy05

Congrats PGTips, good luck for your scan   


OMG OMG OMG!!!! they came!!!!      
Ive just filled them out and will post back in the morning, they let you know within 5 days if you have been accepted for stage 1, its feeling a little more real now, i actually feel a bit excited,   


Happy weekend everyone


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## KDJay

Welcome pgtips!!!! U are at the same stage as us and we did intra partner too! Hopefully we will be pregnancy buddies all the way through. 

Poppy - congrats exciting times xxxz


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## Herts85

Sillywrong - that sounds like a bumper crop, hopefully you will get frosties for siblings X

PGTips - welcome! Great name! Glad to hear you got your BFP, not long til you get to see your embaby on screen! X

Poppy - great news that you have your papers and that turnaround time is fab! Keeping my fingers crossed for you X

KDJay - are you daring to believe it yet? X


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## SillyWrong

Hi PGTips, welcome, and congratulations! Great to hear it's worked out for you, we're doing intra partner too and will hopefully be right behind you! 

Great news you have your forms Poppy, closer and closer each day!

Herts - I almost daren't hope for such a perfect outcome!! One step at a time!!

What's everyone up to this weekend? We're having a nice quiet one, breakfast date with friends followed by a doggie date this morning at the park with a few friends and family, friends for lunch tomorrow. I miss wine! Last night wasn't a proper Friday night in our house without a few glasses and a late night karoke session!!


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## KDJay

Silly wrong that sounds like a lovely weekend!!! We are having a really quiet one, since the bleeding (more spotting yeaterday too) dp is paranoid about taking it easy poor thing. She is usually so active but she just doesn't want to move now and she is also extremely tired. We also have our booking in appointment with the mid wife which seems very early to me (7weeks) so a bit scary xxxx


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## sarahsuperdork

KD hope DP feels better soon, it's hard but make sure she takes it super easy at least for a couple of weeks. I had my booking in appt at about 8 weeks (which others said was a bit early) so don't worry, some areas do it earlier than others, it depends on if they're busy. If they're not so busy, there's less of a wait and you just get booked in earlier. 

SillyWrong hope you have a great weekend! I miss wine too but DW and I like a quiet life so we're not missing going out drinking or anything like that. I've been at the dentist today (fun Saturday) and working tomorrow but I've had the last couple of days off so can't complain. 

poppy great news! Glad the postie came through for you.  5 days isn't long at all. 

Congratulations PGTips! Hope you have a happy and healthy 9 (well, 8 ) months ahead. 

I finally got my missing AF, hooray! I need to call the hospital on Mon to book a scan for CD21 - they won't let me start buserelin without a scan first - but our drugs arrive this week and this AF should mean we're ready to start.


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## KDJay

Woo hoo sarah super dork!!! Ready to go for u! Yes she's going to take it easy, she is signed off work which is a relief xxx


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## Herts85

Sarahsuperdork - yay you get to start! X

KDJay - great that your do is signed off and can take it a bit easier. I'm guessing not too long til the booking appt, will they scan you again then too? X

Sillywrong - that sounds like a lovely way to spin the day. My gf and I are currently up in the northeast visiting her family. Lots of snow which is nice, and also quite novel as we haven't had any for a long time at home! X


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## PGTips

Morning. Wow what a lovely welcome thank you. I think I'm being a bit dim as only just remembered this site but I can't see what all your usernames are so don't feel I can reply individually like some of you are. I was in here quite a bit over our first cycle & then 'went it alone' for the next few. Ridiculous really but I'm back! Hoping to get to grips with it all. 

Anxiously awaiting our scan on Wednesday. These 3 weeks have been harder than the 2ww. 

Anyway. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend. Any of you have snow?! Kate has just sent me a pic of snow on the railway line at Fleet so it's around the south. 

Take care everyone x


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## PGTips

Ok I really am being dim lol. Hadn't realised all the names are to the left of the messages & not at the top of them like they are on BC!!! X


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## SillyWrong

KD - did you have your booking in appointment?  How did it go?  Have they said if the reason DP is bleeding is because of a haematoma?  That's what it's been when I've heard about it previously.  Hope you're both doing OK.

sarahsuperdork - oh no I don't miss nights out at all, brrr, far too cold for that.  DW and I have a habit of making a bit of a friday night of it at home though, nice food, lots of wine, usually culminating in a bit of a living room disco with the dogs! I miss that!  Friday night telly (8 out of 10 cats etc) is a bit dull without the wine!  Glad to hear you're back on the cycle now, it's good to start having dates to work to in your mind.

Herts85 - I love the snow too!  We had a lovely walk yesterday, though one of my dogs was a complete divvy and kept refusing to walk.  So embarrassing carrying her around!  Hope you had a safe trip back home!

Hi to everyone else - hope you all have good weeks this week!  We had our scan this morning, triggering tonight, EC Wednesday


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## KDJay

wow Sillywong triggering tonight that is so exciting!!!! I bet you cannot wait until Wednesday, I found this stage the most exciting bit before the worrrying sets in again. On the day of our EC we left so early in the morning is was still dark and London was sooo quiet not a person on the street, it was strangely romantic walking over Chelsea Bridge in the dark to go to EC  hahaha

Yes booking in was yesterday, it was just filling out forms rather than getting any helpful advice or info really - and the fact that technically this is a double donor baby really spun her and her form filling out! lol!!!


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## SillyWrong

Heeeey, where'd everyone go!?


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## sarahsuperdork

Here! I've been ridiculously anxious about my blood results but the hospital called today and my TSH has dropped to 2.3 so I am all set to cycle this month. I should start downregging in about two weeks.  How did the EC go today SillyWrong?


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## poppy05

evening all


thats good news sarah, how excitng   


how did ec go today silly? 


I have some news too, we got an email from social worker today, we have been accepted to begin stage 1 of the adoption process, and our prep course is next week!!!!!    how can it be this quick hahaha i was moaning the other day that our paperwork hadn't arrived, and today BAM we're starting!! im sooooooo excited


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## KDJay

Hey sillywong how was EC today, how many eggs did u get? 

Sarahsuperdork - so exciting to be getting started ! 

Poppy - so exciting, u will need to explain all the stages to me as I have no idea how it works and I am really interested xxxx

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


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## Divas212

Great news poppy 😊!!! 

We were at the hospital yesterday as baby wasn't very active, but you can guess as soon as we got there on the ctg monitoring he started kicking away and even got a bought of the hiccups lol was sooooo cute!! The roofers have finally finished and the decorators will finish tomorrow, thank god!! Little mans furniture has arrived today but having to store it in the front room until we pick carpet and have it fitted so our house is upside down still but the end is in sight 😊


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## KDJay

Divas what a relief about little one! When is your edd again? Xxx


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## Herts85

Good evening everyone, sorry I've been quiet - had a hectic few days of visiting close friends and family in three different cities! Exhausted now but happily snuggling with the cats!

Sillywrong - I'm sure it looked very funny you carrying the dog! There was so much snow in County Durham although we've gotten back to a minus temperature in the south! I hope triggering and ec went well, fingers crossed you have lots of fertilisation going on and great embies tomorrow x

KDJay - your ec journey sounds nice although a little eerie, I'd be thinking about zombie apocalypse aftermath! Hope your dp is finding things a little easier and that you have no more bleeding for the rest of the pregnancy x

Sarahsuperdork - that's great news that you can start as planned! X

Poppy05 - wow, all systems go for you! Do you know what wait times for matching are currently like in your area? Looking forward to hearing about your journey x

Divas - you are nesting big style! Hope your little man continues with movements and hiccups until he makes his appearance x

Afm I have a blood test on Friday for cmv testing, why they didn't do it in October I'll never know! Feeling worried about the delay and overthinking everything to do with babies/IVF - is it the right time, jobs, housing etc! Just need to chill out and get on with it! X


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## Divas212

KD - I am due on the 4th March, which makes me 34 weeks, 6 weeks and counting but he could be early/late, I need to get my hospital bag sorted this weekend and start to wash baby clothes 😍 All super exciting!! I definitely feel like I'm beating as my house is driving me mad but can't have a super clean until decorators go, his room is looking beautiful though so far as is our stairs and landing!! Kitchen has to wait to ensure roof has fixed the kitchen leaks ha it's been a nightmare having all this work done whilst pregnant, not helped by the fact the boiler packed I and we needed a new one hahaha could only happen to us x


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## KDJay

Hey Herts - the CMV wont take any time at all, only a couple of days if they are any good and then you will be off! there is never a perfect time to  have a baby you just have to go for it!

Divas- how exciting!!!! not long now you are def on the home straight  and the home sounds beautiful xxx


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## SillyWrong

Oh there you all are! This is exactly what I needed to see when I logged in just now - work has been horrible today and it's making me want to bang my head against a wall - or just sink in to a corner and have a little cry.

sarahsuperdork - I'm so pleased to hear that you are in-cycle now!  It feels good to start having a plan you can look to.  Good luck with it!

Poppy - that is EXCITING news!  DW and I went through an assessment process similar to fostering in order to become approved as carers a few years ago - I imagine adoption will be more stringent and in depth, but I hope you'll find the process as rewarding as we did - there is a lot of self reflection and scrutiny in yourself and each other - I bet you'll learn something new about one another along the way.  And it's such a hopeful and lovely process to be going through.  Good luck!

Divas - so pleased to see everything is well for you guys and your little one!  I remember when my SiL was prego with my niece and we were visiting and I found her sat in a room on her own, she said she was counting kicks as she was concerned - my heart was in my mouth then, everything was fine, but I can't imagine how scary it must have been for you!!

Herts - It's completely natural to have little wobbles when you're about to get started, it just shows that you're being sensible and thinking it all through and checking back in with yourself.  I hope those tests come back soon for you - what kind of timeframe are you looking at to actually get started?

Yes!  We had our EC!  14 were collected, we got a call this morning and found out that 11 were mature and 9 have fertilised.  Apparently they have fertilised 'well' (I don't know what this means - we didn't get any feedback on this last time, I'm guessing it just means all the cells are doing the right thing and look lovely and neat and tidy.  We sound like a perfect match!)  We are over the moon about all these numbers, you tend to lean towards thinking about the worst case scenario when waiting for info.

I've been having a bit of a wobble about my meds, as last round, I bled through them (from about 2dpt until I got a BFN and stopped the meds) though the first time I was fine.  Dr talked about putting me on injectable progesterone instead, but in the end we agreed this time to just up my pessaries *sob* to three a day and see how that goes.  KD, what protocol was/is your dp on - she was the recipient of your embryo, right?


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## KDJay

Hey SillyWong - wow that is an amazing amount of eggs and fertilisation rate, well done! Yes my dp is the recipient, she is on pessaries 3 times a day as standard (Utrogestan) and then when she started bleeding she started progesterone injections (Gestone) once a day and have carried these on, we will see at our next scan in two weeks if we should carry on taking them. We had already bought the Gestone and were carrying it around just in case of a bleed so when she started bleeding she injected it immediately - maybe you can do that?


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## sarahsuperdork

Great fertilisation rate SillyWrong! Hopefully upping the pessaries will help this time. Some consultants swear by injectiable progesterone but others feel that if it's going to work, it's going to work and while a higher progesterone dose will delay a bleed, that doesn't mean it makes your cycle more likely to end in success. I had this discussion with my nurse last week as I bled early (5dpt) on my FET. For my second FET I had injectable but never had a transfer so I'll never know if it would have worked for me; I've gone back to cyclogest this time. 

Herts I agree that there's no perfect time to have a baby; I don't think we'd ever have started this process if I thought that way so I try not to think about it.  Your CMV shouldn't take too long, then hopefully you'll be ready to get your donor sorted. 

Divas good luck with the final bits and bobs before LO arrives. Did you have a FET? I think I remember you from when I was doing mine in the summer. 

Fab news poppy, it seems to feel like you wait ages for something to happen and then it all happens at once!


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## Divas212

Sarah yes I thought I recognised you, this pregnancy was the result of the fet. 

We have been to our first ante natal class this evening and we both really enjoyed it, although at one point the midwife split the fellas and the pregnant ladies to do a task and my poor wife was at a loss as to which group to join but in the end went with the ladies, I feel the midwife should have split us using partner as opposed to fellas, I saw the uncomfortable look in my wife's face and it wasn't very nice, but aside from that we got a lot out of it x


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## Herts85

Sillywrong - we're always here, just holler for us!   sorry to hear work has been horrible. I've had this week off but have had a dreadful few weeks so not looking forward to Monday! Great news on your numbers, hopefully you'll have great blasts to transfer and freeze (for siblings after your bfp on this cycle!) I don't actually know when we're hoping to start anymore. I feel like all of the delay and chasing the clinic for everything has zapped my optimism. The only good thing is that we are short protocol so when we get going it'll be quick. We're waiting on cmv testing and donor selection so hopefully not too long! X

KDJay - thanks, I think the wobbles are just because there has been so much delay. Had we got straight on with it I think it would've been fine. Totally true though, never a perfect time! X

Sarahsuperdork - thanks for the boost, I've been having words with myself today and hopefully shaking off the negativity. I know we'll be super lucky to even have a baby full stop and that's where I need to focus. Most, if not all, of the issues/worries are because of work so I'm just going to focus on home life instead! X

Divas - are you doing NHS or nct classes? I've heard mixed reviews on both but nct are apparently more inclusive. It really must feel like the home straight for you guys now  x


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## Divas212

Herts - it's the NHS one all our treatment has been NHS. At the very start of enqiring about NHS funding IVF for us we had a few bad experiences but on the whole they have been very good and at one point last night the midwife did cal my wife my birthing partner (not ideal but kinda some inclusion) I suppose it is different but not to us! The lady was very nice and I think she would be mortified that it got to us a bit but hey ho worse things could happen. P.s no time is right during our treatment my wife lost her job which has turned out the best thing ever for her as she now has a different job which is paid better and our house fell apart needing new roof, boiler, plastering and decorating but things have a way of working out!! Best advice I can give is go with the flow lol x


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## KDJay

Divas - wtf! Birthing partner! Did she know she was your wife, I'm not surprised your wife felt put out with that and the fellas thing too! My dp has a habit of never introducing me to ppl (which she is getting better at!) haha so I've said to her can u pls introduce me to the midwife /gp etc so that don't assume I'm just a friend/sister there for moral support lol! Especially when I start answering their questions as dp doesn't have a clue I just seem really pushy! 

Herts - no worries Hun its entirely normal to think everything through and worry - I have had every thought and emotion in this journey. I can't believe how much my mindset has changed on so many things. 


Xxx


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## Divas212

KD - I know!! Hahaha that's not the half of it, the consultant asked my wife if she was my friend at one appointment, bearing in mind said consultant had worked with my wife for 12 years as we are very open about our sexuality!! When we first went to the GP about starting IVF she said and I quote 'well you chose your lifestyle' 😂 Kinda used to it really!!


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## KDJay

Oh my goodness! It is upsetting though. I have had some good ones which I wished I had written down now just for a good laugh as I have forgotten half of them - one clinic used a phrase (which I have forgotten for the life of me )-something like same sex couples 'choose infertility' or something like that? Also the GP said they couldn't test my fertility 'because of your situation' and I said 'you won't give me a FSH test because I am gay?' then I had to remind him that I am a woman coming to you because I cannot get pregnant , like any other woman and asking to do some tests. Then there was the time my own clinic wouldn't give me my gf's test results because of 'patient confidentiality' but I am sure if I rang up to ask about my husband's sperm analysis results that wouldnt be a problem? I have lost count of the times ppl have said to me 'dont you want to have a baby?'  - um... this is my baby too! At our booking in appt with the MW when my gf left the room to do a sample she said to me it was a big decision to use my eggs in my gf and 'you must have thought about it alot carefully' and 'didnt you want to get pregnant' -I wonder how many men she asks if they thought carefully about using their sperm to get their wife pregnant. I think ppl just dont think really and that most of it is harmless.


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## KDJay

actually i think the phrase was 'lifestyle infertility'!


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## sarahsuperdork

Most of it is meant harmlessly but it is frustrating and you expect more from a healthcare professional. The first GP we saw to get the ball rolling was very weird about the whole thing; we said we wanted to talk about next steps in trying to start a family, he looked at each of us and said "er, well how are you going to go about that?". I wanted to tell him we'd tried kissing but had no luck so far.  When we went back to get a referral for a FET, we saw a different GP who looked at DS and said "whose is this, then?". People cannot seem to understand that while only one of you can carry the child, the child still belongs to both of you. When it's your average person, ok, you expect some annoying questions and nosey conversation but when it's a doctor, you'd think they could switch their professional head on. 

At an antenatal appointment one time the midwife put that I'd attended with my "mum" - DW was mortified, she's only 3 years older than me.  We went to one very good, inclusive antenatal class run by student midwives and one very awkward NHS one. I wouldn't go again.


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## KDJay

Haha sarah the kissing comment made me laugh! Poor dw being called ur mum! Looking fwd to more gems by the sounds of it! Xxx


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## Divas212

Ha glad it's not just me then, people often mistake me for my wife's mum and I'm only 3 years older, in fact on holiday when someone asked that I was in a sulk all day!! Hahaha my wife gets the whole oh when are you going to try and she's like try what I'm having a baby now, joint decision, joint experience, it so happens she may try with a fet as we have one on ice but our baby is ours just because I'm carrying it makes no difference to us, I just happen to be older so my clock is ticking faster than hers and i'v always had a desire to carry and my wife hasn't, no brainer. I don't understand why people can't grasp that? Not that it's any of their buisness!! Don't even get me started on the well who's going to be mummy and what's the other going to be called....urgh we're both mummy as far as we're concerned and when he gets older it's up to him ha no doubt whoever in favour or if it gets confusing we cross that bridge when and if it comes!!! Same with all parenting see what happens and address it best as you can pft ok rant over haha


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## sarahsuperdork

I think people are just curious but then it can sometimes be annoying that we're expected to be a show and tell all the time. It's not always our responsibility to educate people! It really isn't that confusing re: names; DS calls DW 'mama' and me 'mummy'. He knows the difference between the two words and has done since he was around 18 months.


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## Herts85

Divas - gotta love the NHS, we've had so many moments where we've looked at each other and had to hold in the laughter! The choosing your lifestyle comment is pretty unforgivable! We were really fortunate to have a very understanding GP who freely admitted she had no idea how same sex investigations/funding worked but did the referral straightaway. Completely understand about show and tell - parenting and mummy names, although we've made it out mission to try and educate people where possible so end up answering a lot of questions about things! Hope little man is still kicking away, gently of course! X

KDJay - good that your dp is getting better at intros. I'm terrible at it too, I generally just get excited to see whoever it is then 5 minutes later remember to do introductions! Lifestyle infertility!?   did you complain? That's awful treatment, we've had some rough moments as people seem to struggle with the fact that lesbian or not I also have infertility problems that would take more than sperm on tap to fix! I hope your embie is behaving and no more bleeding, how long is it until your next scan? X

Sarahsuperdork - sounds like you've had some corkers! I know what you mean about commenting back, my gf has a habit of texting them to me in consultations which is really difficult to keep a straight face if I see the preview! Our first gynae appointment we were checking in and the receptionist said 'is your boyfriend here?' I responded with 'my girlfriend is stood next to me' when we were sat down she said 'damn, I knew I should've worn a strap on!' I tried to hold back a laugh and made a really loud snorting noise! So embarrassing! Did ds settle on those names himself or did you encourage him/refer to each other as those names? X

Afm - thank you all for the words of encouragement. I think I was just getting frustrated at the process and delays, plus there was a little pmt involved too! I had the cmv test done today and apparently should have the results Monday. If I'm positive then we are going to go with the clinic donor we liked and will start as soon as the clinic say we can, yay! Xx


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## SillyWrong

Argh I was complaining about it going quiet around here and then I go awol! It's not a good time at work at the moment. But that's all I have to say about that! I only usually come on on the computer but I'm giving the phone a go! 

We've been very lucky so far with inclusive docs etc, we even saw a locum GP who set my gaydar off, who was fascinated by it all and was more interested in asking questions about it than actually addressing the matter we went in for (only needed a prescription, we were in there 20 minutes!) Oh except once at our clinic we went back to reception to say we needed to both book in for blood tests and the receptionist looked over my shoulder in to the waiting room and asked dw where her husband was. 

KD can they give you and your dp each other's results as you're going through treatment as a pair? I always assumed they only did with us as we're married. One of those horrible technicalities!

We got a call this morning from the embryologist to say that 8 of our wee babs are looking perfect 6-8 cells, one is dawdling behind at 4 cells - we're convinced that little slow coach will be the one - we're cheering them all on from home like a pair of dweeby mums on sports day! Transfer on Monday! Nervous to be in the dreaded 2ww, but so excited as we're sure this is the THE round! 

We're starting to consider, if we have a good number of blasts (ideally we'd like a blast left for sibling use) putting two back.  This isn't something we previously considered at all, We've always done single. What are everyone's thoughts, those who have been through ivf, what made you choose a set or det? 

Hope you're all having lovely weekends


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## sarahsuperdork

Hope work gets easier for you SillyWrong! Most clinics prefer you to have just one embryo back as far as I know, especially if they're good quality blasts. Even when paying privately; you'd think the choice would be yours but they really do try to avoid multiple pregnancies (higher risk) so I doubt you'll have a choice. It's also better to have more than one frostie to fall back on because not all will survive the thaw every time (I am a cautionary tale in that respect, having two fail to thaw last time).


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## poppy05

Oooh SillyWrong how exciting, sounds like they are strong little embies, good luck for transfer on mon, ive always had 2 put back, i felt like had better chance with two, even though they say thats not the case, plus DW is a twin and i felt that if i had fallen with twins then a little part of DW would be in there somehow.
My SIL had ivf and is pg with twins!! 
Its ultimately your decision, but i would go with 2


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## Divas212

Silly wrong - in our fresh cycle we had two 3 day embies put back, it ended in chemical pregnancy, with our frozen embie transfer we had one 5 day blast put back which has resulted in my big bump lol.. There is higher risks with multiple pregnancy of mc, not sure if it was because it was a double transfer or if I really do have implantation issues but I wouldn't risk a double now but I guess that's easy for me to say now! My wife has told me that there is research suggesting that there is higher success with frozen cycles as opposed to fresh but I'm not sure of her source and she isn't here for me to ask. If I could turn back the clock I think I would have started with just a single transfer with the hope we had more frozen, we only have one frostie embie if we want to try for a sibling!! Good luck with your decision


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## Herts85

Sillywrong - how are your embabies doing? Hope everything went ok with et? X

Sarahsuperdork - hope things are ok, do you start dr soon? X

Poppy05 - hope your adoption process is progressing nicely x

Divas - hope everything is on track for your wee man's arrival. I've heard the same about fet's, I guess it gives your body a chance to recover and calm down from stims x

KDJay - hoping your baby is growing well and your do is still taking it easy x

To anyone I've missed - apologies!

Afm - my CMV status has come back as negative, the donor we liked is CMV +be and only MOT5 so we are considering whether to change   

Herts x


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## sarahsuperdork

Herts I have no idea on motility of our donor but we had to go for CMV- because I am. I don't think it's essential (you wouldn't ask a potential partner his CMV status if you were heterosexual!) but it's worth considering if there are other donors out there who you like. 

Hope everyone is well, I am awaiting downreg next week... should be able to start on Friday but I have a scan on Thursday to check I'm cyst-free before I start.


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## KDJay

Hey Herts my dp was also negative - I don't know if you will have a choice as our clinic wouldn't let us use a positive donor so had to have a negative donor. As it happens we had already picked a negative donor. Have u spoke to your clinic as to your choices? 

Sarah - not long for u now! Hoping it will all go smoothly for u 

Sillywong - so ET yesterday ? How did it go, did u have one or two? 

Divas - hope things are ticking along nice for u both 

Poppy - any more update on the adoption process? 

Hope anyone I have missed is ok?

Afm - I am finding it soooo hard waiting between scans especially with the bleed scares we have had! I feel like it is all I think about 24/7!!! It is starting to affect work as I am just thinking about the baby. Our next scan is next Wednesday (not tomo) I even called up a local scanning place today to see if they had any evening appts. I got home to a tired dp and she said she wasn't going anywhere and that the baby is doing just fine! Lol - the difficult thing about not carrying is that the baby is not in my control to be transported to sneaky reassurance scans! Xxxx


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## SillyWrong

Hey lasses! 

Poppy, how's the adoption stuff going?  Do you have a date for your course?

Divas - How are you feeling?  How's the house coming on?

Sarah - Eeee, NEXT WEEK! Oh I have everything crossed that you get the go ahead at the scan

KD - How's that Mrs of your doing?  Sounds like she's well chilled.  We tend to take it in turns, going from obsessing to chilling

Herts - Glad you have your results.  I am CMV+ (dirty cow!! ha ha!) so had my pick of the donors.  What's your timeline looking like now?

Yes - ET was on Monday, I'm now *fingers crossed* 3 weeks pregnant (until proven otherwise) with twins! Ha ha .. we're remaining positive this time!  We were on the fence right up until the last moment about set or det, then when they rang us with the gradings, we had a chat and decided.  We had 3 grade 3 blasts, 1 grade 2 blast and 2 blasts that appeared to be developing abnormally.  So we decided to go ahead with the best grade 3 and the grade 2.  It felt right.  We didn't want to freeze the grade 2 as we had a FET with a grade 1 last year that we felt we wasted a big wodge of cash on - so we thought if we were going to give it a chance, the chance might as well be in my jam sandwich, rather than in the freezer!  We agonised over it for such a long time, weighing up the pros and cons, and now that we've made the decision, I really feel good about it.  And thanks for the advice on det/set Sarah, Poppy & Divas 

Oh, also, by the time we got to clinic for the ET, the embryologist popped his head around the corner to tell us that the grades 2 and 3 we were having transferred had progressed to a 3 and 4 in the embryoglue since the call!


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## poppy05

Hi all
Thankyou for asking after me, we have our first course tomorrow!!    really excited to get going, we have (i think) everything scheduled now for stage 1, we have another course next fri, our medicals are booked in, and we have a person coming round to do a health and safety check of our home and a financial check, our completion date is march 21st, which is my mums birthday so im hoping its a good omen and we get invited for stage 2   


SillyWrong, yay to being PUPO! and glad you decided to go with 2    hope your 2ww goes nice and quick, its the worst bit isnt it   whens OTD? 


KDjay how is everything? it must be so stressful having to wait for reassurance scans, glad to hear dp is keeping calm tho, bless her, i would be sending my wife to the maternity unit to steal me a scanning machine!!!!!   


sarah, ooh DR next week!    bring on the hormones girlie!!!   


Divas hows things going hun?   


herts, did you decide what to do re changing donor?   


Right i better go and sort out my best 'im a restpectable mother' outfit for tomorrow!!!!


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## Divas212

Hi everyone, thanks for asking about me. I am extremely tired now and can't get my brain in gear to do personals but house building work finished for now, just need carpets laid on Friday the we can get his furniture or should I say my wife will be putting his furniture together whilst I boss lol!!! I'm super excited only two weeks left at work so officially on countdown and we have organised our baby shower for Valentine's Day 😊!!!

KD - I found the stage your at was the most stressful for us living your life in 2 week intervals for scans but try hold it together x


----------



## KDJay

Thank you divas - yes I'm finding it stressful but luckily dp seems a lot more relaxed which is good xxxx


----------



## KDJay

Sarah - good luck for your scan today hope your cyst free let us know how it goes 

Herts - any news on the donor choice ? 

Poppy - wow it sounds like the process is really moving along for u , I'm looking fwd to learning about the process as u go along - good luck xxx

Sillywong - yay you are pupo , I actually found the 2ww the easiest part of this process Becuase it was lovely living in a little bubble. Are u goin to wait until otd to test? We also put two back and have ended up with a singleton so I def think it is the right choice for u. We had one baby and one blighted ovum and we would have been devastated if we had gone for set and only the blighted ovum took. Yes dp is chilled as usual, that's what a life of not reading anything on the internet does for u! Lol xxxx


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## SillyWrong

KD - Ha ha, I always try to remember not to tell DW stuff I read on the internet, it must be so much nicer not having stats and stuff to obsess over!  What happened to you guys (with the blighted ovum) so hit home with me, and was very much in the back of my mind when we were picking our one or two.  I'd never heard of a blighted ovum until you mentioned it so went off and did a bit of reading on the subject!  How are you guys feeling about it now that you've gotten a bit of distance?

Poppy - that really is moving on quick, and so great they give you a date to have finished stage one by, it's good to know these things are progressing and you have a target.  What kind of time frame are they looking at for the whole thing?  Friends of ours adopted a 3 month old baby, GORGEOUS he is, he's 3 (yrs) now and they are all well and truly settled.  I was surprised by how relatively simple and quick the whole process was for them - the process has such a bad reputation for waiting and uncertainty.  How did the course go today?

Divas - hope you're doing OK, try and relax (I bet you've heard that a few times!) Are you working at the mo?

Herts - hope things are moving on OK for you 

Our OTD is 5/2, however, we're not waiting til then (obvs!) we agreed from the start we would test 2 weeks from EC, which is Wednesday 3/2, so actually only 2 days early.


----------



## KDJay

Hi Sillywong yes she has no idea about any stats etc so is mega chilled and positive, although it was good to reassure her when she was bleeding that this does happen because I do read on the internet so it does have its positives. To be honest we felt completely fine about the blighted ovum straight from the start - the sac is completely empty so there was no embryo growing in there so it didn't feel like we had lost anything and to be honest we were so freaked out by the bleeding we were just over the moon we had one baby in there at all. I didn't expect I would feel like that but you cant predict these things. It was weird we went to view a house today and the agent said out of nowhere that the spare room would be good for twins and me and dp just looked at each other but we didn't feel sad xxxx

Our otd that we were given by the clinic was 14 days from EC so going by my clinic's guidance testing on that date is perfect! That is also the day of our next scan so fx for both of us! xxx


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## sarahsuperdork

KDJay that's the way to be, I often say I wish I could get back the naivety of my first cycle because I wouldn't worry anywhere near as much as I do! I'm glad you don't feel sad  it's amazing that you have a LO in there to concentrate on. Thank you for the good luck, my appointment is next Thursday but only a week to go now so feeling good. 

SillyWrong I can never wait until OTD either so I don't blame you; I tested at 7dp5dt with DS and got a BFP on our second wedding anniversary. I'm going to try to wait this time, to stay in the PUPO bubble a bit longer. We'll see!

poppy hope your course went well today.


----------



## KDJay

Oh Sarah oops! I'm so sorry I really thought it was today ! Sorry! Well anyway good luck for tomo


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## Divas212

Silly - I have two weeks left at work and I'm on countdown lol it's looking very likely I'll be needing a section as baby is still breech and very comfy in breech lol really don't want a section but I'd prefer that to them trying evc where they try to turn baby so we shall see what the next 2 weeks brings x


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## Herts85

Hi everyone, been a busy few days for me! 

Sarahsuperdork - hope your scan went ok today and you've got your dr date now. Exciting times! X

KDJay - hope everything is going well and you haven't had any more scares. It must be weird living life in 2 week chunks, I can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for you both! House hunting sounds like a fun distraction though, my dp deliberately drives down certain roads just so I can house perve   X

Sillywrong - yay congrats on being PUPO, lots of positive thoughts being sent your way!   X

Poppy05 - I can't believe how quickly it's going for you, fingers crossed it continues! It's reassuring in a way as I'd like to think that the pace is to ensure children are placed for adoption as soon as it's possible for them. X

Divas - hoping you get answers soon re: delivery and that your last two weeks at work pass by quickly! A Valentine's Day baby shower sounds lovely, you can have lots of cherubs/cupids for both themes! Does baby being breech mean that your ribs are being spared from baby kicking? X

Afm - our clinic are being spectacularly   at telling us anything, unfortunately communication has been an issue all the way through, so I'm waiting for the relevant person to call me back and discuss what our options now are re: donors. Conveniently the relevant person has never been available when I've called them nor have they answers my emails. Feeling quite fed up as not only has this dragged on for a while now but work is also a bit poop. Oh well, tomorrow is another day and a Saturday too!  

Herts x


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## sarahsuperdork

It's next week you guys 

Sorry to hear your clinic aren't the most helpful, Herts. We found the same with communication about donor sperm this time and it was such a relief when it was sorted out.


----------



## Herts85

Omg, sorry sarahsuperdork, I'm going a bit   I think! Oh well, it should be a breeze after all the good luck wishes we've given you!   x


----------



## sarahsuperdork

It's ok it does feel like it's taking ages to come around  this is always the hardest part of treatment for me; waiting to downreg and then downreg itself. It seems to go much more quickly after that!


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## KDJay

Haha Sarah we are wishing away the week for u! 

Herts - sorry to hear things are being so slow for u, it's seems u just need to keep badgering! 

Afm - at least I have something to distract me from these waits, we offered on a flat and it's been accepted, I'm sl scared it's a lot of money and I just feel a bit unsure xxx


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## SillyWrong

Congratulations KD - you sound like me, a worrier. You guys will make the flat and the finances work. A lovely little nest for the three of you  

Divas, oh I bet you're on the count down to finish work, I know I would be!!

All these meds are making me have really bad trapped wind! The bloated tummy and the constant pop pop pop going on inside keeps making me think I can feel a pregnancy! Ha ha. Not that I know what a pregnancy feels like! 

4 days till I test. 4 days till kd and her dp get their scan, 5 days till Sarah's scan ... Next week will be a biggy for us!


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## KDJay

Yeh sillywong I can be a worrier!!! Haha 

Yes big week for us all! How u finding  pupo? Xxx


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## Divas212

Herts - my ribs are constantly being head butted lol not sure what's worse lol

Silly deffo on countdown 😊


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## mrsww

Hi all,

Love checking in here and I'm keeping fingers crossed for you all. 

So would love to be joining again but not sure we will ever be able to try again as so much money. 

This time last year I was waiting for AF for scan and to start injections. Now little butterball is three months.


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## Herts85

Morning all,

Sarahsuperdork - I'm impatient too, but will be sp so when we do finally get started it will go so quickly! I wonder whether lp is better for being in the treatment frame of mind for longer! Are you still off the drink? I haven't had any since mid-December, feels odd and wasn't particularly intentional but I can't imagine having a drink now! X

KDJay - yep, they are well and truly sick of me contacting them!   congratulations on the flat - scary but exciting! If you want to talk through anything or have specific queries feel free to message me, I've previously worked as a remortgage paralegal and own a flat in Newcastle so I know my way around a lease! X

Sillywrong - be positive, these may be your pregnancy symptoms!   Thanks for the countdown dates, you'll be the one keeping us all right with them! Next week will be exciting! X

Divas - I'd never thought about headbutting, that sounds just as scary as rib kicking! I suppose with a section you get a great deal more certainty than any other way. My friend had her baby in November and after a long drawn out labour ended up with an EmCS, she said the process and recovery was tons better than she expected and number 2 will definitely be an elective CS! X

After - no news, dp wants me to wait until Monday to chase them - not sure if that's a good idea or not! 

Herts x


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## Herts85

Hi Mrsww - congratulations on your little one.   What a difference a year can make! Do you have any frosties or would it be a fresh cycle if you went again? The costs are scary, not just financial but also the emotional and physical impact of cycling! x


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## mrsww

Herts, no frosties so would be full cycle. I've also been quite ill with blood pressure issues since delivery and am thinking another pregnancy the issues may start earlier. We always wanted two but not sure if it's possible. We will likely move back to NZ so might look into fostering. It does make me treasure each little moment with my little one. 

Divas, I ended up with an emergency c section and it was fine. I felt no pain and found it almost relaxing. Our birth plan was for my wife to say sex, she got to shorten the cord, she stayed with baby during the checks and had skin to skin when I was sewn up. I managed on paracetamol and nurofen really try to stay on top of the drugs for at least a week. Lactalose is useful in the early days. I was also given piriton to stops itches from one of the medications. When out of hospital restrain yourself from doing anything but baby related stuff. You'll have adrenalin and pain medications and feel fine but recovery will take longer if you do too much.  Get freezer meals in and foods that can be eaten one handed, let wife wait on you for a couple of weeks, snuggle in with your new family and enjoy. Excited for you.


----------



## peanut165

Hi all, been lurking on this site for over 12 months since me and DW started our IVF/egg share + partner to partner egg sharing journey! 
We had our first attempt in Dec 14 which was a BFN for us but BFP for our recipient, 2nd try was BFP but I miscarried shortly after and now this is our last attempt at me carrying due to finances.

I have a 5 year old DD from a previous CP but DW has known her since she was 18 months so we are a family unit. We had 2 5day blasts transferred on Wednesday and OTD is the 7th.

Wishing you all the very best of luck ❤


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## KDJay

Welcome peanut and good luck for otd! How are u finding the wait? We have also done egg sharing and inter partner xxx


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## peanut165

Thanks KDJay! I am not a patient person so probably driving everyone crazy! We decided that this time I would rest after my tx, on our last cycles I went straight back to work as we run our own business but taking it easy this time....which doesn't help in the 2ww!

How are you? All still going well?


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck peanut! Fingers crossed for your BFP.


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## peanut165

Thanks Sarahsuperdork (great name 😂) when do you start your meds?


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## KDJay

That's good that you got to rest; my dp did the same - we have a scan on Wednesday so fx all is well in there xxx


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## peanut165

That's great, I bet the waiting for scans is worse than 2ww?! Good luck for that xx


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## KDJay

Totally peanut! I actually didn't mind the 2ww it was nice to be in an oblivious bubble!


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## peanut165

Haha fair point KD, after the 2ww you get to worry about them for the rest of their lives 😂😂


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## sarahsuperdork

Should start on Fri all being well! I feel like we've been waiting forever, our last FET was in September but we wanted to wait until after Christmas to get going again. I'm a nervous wreck on the 2ww  hope you're coping ok!


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## peanut165

Hope everything goes well for you this time 😊 It takes a lot out of you doing this over and over. Worth it when it happens tho 😁 xx


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## SillyWrong

Morning all.  Here's goes another week.  A big one for some of us.  KD and Sarah, hope you're feeling excited, though I'm sure nervous too!

Hi Mrsww - what a lovely example for us all you are! I can't imagine this time next year having a 3mo!  Congratulations 

Peanut, Hi! You and I are proper cycle buddies!  I had my ET 2 days before you and we were inter-partner too.  How are you feeling?  Are you a compulsive tester or a waiter?  We're testing Wednesday, 2 days before our OTD.

Hope everyone else is doing well.  

I am not doing so well this morning.  As we get closer to testing.  We have been proper carried away with being so positive that we seem to think I'm pregnant, I've almost had to remind myself that we've not tested yet.  Then last night the reality of testing set in and I'm feeling the horrors of not seeing a positive result.  I really don't think i'll cope with it if it's negative!!! (Of course, I will, but I don't want to!)    DW is busy all this week with work or social stuff and is away from Thursday in London, really feel like this week we should be hunkering down together and hiding from the world! Then we're off down to Brighton for the weekend and that'll be super busy seeing friends and catching up with people.  I really feel like I can't look forward to it yet, when I don't know if i'll be pregnant or not!  I guess, at least if I'm not I can get good and sloshed  

Sorry - on a debbie downer this morning, I need to kick start my positivity again!  I feel like I need some cheer leaders to come stand by my desk and shake their pom poms! ha ha


----------



## KDJay

Hey silly wong these are all completely normal feelings! We acted as if dp was pregnant over the 2ww (which was over Christmas) so no pate for Christmas Day and like you we didn't want to burst the bubble by testing as we were enjoying thinking she was pregnant. We live in Brighton! If it is a BFP (which I am sure it will be) then you can celebrate and if not then like you say you can drown your sorrows but I am sure it will be the former. I am a constant worrier/negative so my acupuncturist says to me I have to spend more time thinking about the things I want to happen and not the things I don't want to happen and it is good advice.


----------



## SillyWrong

ha, kd, I read that as consultant worrier! Oh if anyone ever needed advice on how to be a good worrier, I'd be dead good at that job!  

My dw went to uni in Brighton so we're down relatively often for visits.  We're going to a 1920's themed birthday party Saturday night! 

She just text and said she's taken the morning off on Wednesday, so i'll take it off too and then at least we can have a proper morning together rather than just testing and going straight to work!


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## KDJay

haha consultant worrier! Me too, I could charge £250 per 20 min consultation lol! 

Oh thats cool, I love it down here (only been here for just over a year) we moved from London. 

Thats lovely that she can take the time off, our otd was over the Christmas break so luckily we were both off work for the whole week after. 

x


----------



## peanut165

Hi Sillywrong, thanks for the welcome. Yes we are pretty much on the same timeline! I am absolutely terrible for testing early!! My Mrs thinks (knows) I'm mad but it's like the only bit of control I have over this whole thing! Choosing when to test, it is still of course too early to get a definitive result but I have been testing since yesterday 4dp5dt!! We'll be overrun with pee sticks come Sunday, OTD 😂😂

Sorry to hear you're struggling today, but I do believe in positivity - easier said than done I know! It is an extremely emotionally draining time and your thoughts, hopes and fears will all surface time to time. Keep the hope and look after each other is all we can do. Hope you feel better soon.

Will be looking out for your update on Wednesday and keeping my fingers crossed for a BFP for you xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Someone on one of my cycle buddies threads last year had a BFP show up at 5dp5dt but I think that's crazy early! We got ours at 7dp5dt with DS, though I didn't test before that so I don't know if it would have shown any earlier. Less than a week to go now for you peanut and SillyWrong it's so close to your OTD!

I think my OTD will be the day I'm due back at work, so I will probably end up testing at least 1 day early to give myself some breathing space.


----------



## Herts85

Good evening everyone, I have no news as the clinic is giving us the silent treatment!   
I'm still here tho cheering all of you on       

Mrsww - that sounds like a difficult situation to be in. The no guarantees with treatment must make you really weigh up going again and appreciate your little one so much! X

Peanut165 - hello, hope it's a sticky bfp for you this time! You sound like a fully paid up member of the poas addicts club!   X

KDJay - good luck for the scan on Wednesday, how far along will you be? Brighton must feel wonderful after London life. We moved south from Newcastle 3 years ago and it was a steep learning curve to adjust! I love Brighton, such a different pace to it x

Sarahsuperdork - wow Friday, I bet you can't wait to get going! Are you a serial tester too? X

Sillywrong - positive thoughts lovely! Your embie(s) are snuggling in tight, think about your bfp on wednesday x

Afm - just watching inside out and it's on about the NHS postcode lottery in Essex, cuts a bit close to the bone!  The professor of my clinic is on there calling for a national tarrif for IVF cost, I'd just settle for a frickin' reply right now!  

Herts x


----------



## peanut165

Morning all, how is everyone today? 

Herts, yes I am a poas gold member 😂 Hope your clinic gets into gear soon! How annoying!

My 5 year old came home from school poorly yesterday so she's keeping my company today whilst DW is at work! We called our clinic yesterday as we hadn't heard anything about our remaining embryos and they told us they managed to freeze 5 blastocysts!!! 5!! Shocked but pleased.

Have a good day everyone xx


----------



## KDJay

wow well done peanuts, five is amazing!


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## Herts85

Peanuts - 5 frozen is awesome! Are you testing at the moment or holding out for a little longer? X

KDJay - Good luck for the scan tomorrow x

Sillywrong - I think tomorrow is your test day (??) good luck hope it's a bfp for you   X


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Good luck tomorrow SillyWrong, and to KDJay too for yours and DW's scan. 

peanut 5 frosties is fab!

Herts what are your clinic playing at?!


----------



## Herts85

SarahSUperDork - I have no idea, to be honest I am so fed up with them that I feel like any cycles with them will be doomed to failure. I don't understand how they can be this useless and unprofessional. I'm thinking of contacting my CCG to see if we can move clinics, the other one we were torn between (CRGH) has great feedback on here and there's people who were looking at the same time as us who went with them and are already pregnant! Not sure if we'll be able to move as we've already had the drugs teach session and the drugs, although how much I remember from October remains to be seen! X


----------



## KDJay

Herts that is crazy, it's just not acceptable! I would be completly losing the plot by now. We are waiting for an initial appt / response for our nhs referral from the GP! Haha - I just didn't have the patience to wait so I can't imagine how u feel. What more can u do? Can u put a complaint in, maybe u will through to the complaints officer ? 

Sillywong - good luck for test date tomo , I have a good feeling for ya! 

Sarah - nearly time for u to get started, although I was wishing u luck last week! Lol 

Peanut - how are u feelin? Going crazy yet ? 

Hope everyone else is doing ok? 

Afm - my phone is crazy so my message is a bit all over the place! Scan day today, feel sick with nerves (hence why I am awake) dp had lots of cramps on and off yesterday so hoping they are nothing to worry about? Our offer on a flat has been accepted so the in laws are down to look at it - I lost my dad last year and it's hard making such a big decision without him. Hoping I will be bringing u lovely ladies some good news this afternoon 

Poppy - any update on the adoption process, I love hearing about it as it's so new to me.


----------



## SillyWrong

I'm pregnant!


----------



## peanut165

Sillywrong!!!! Yay thats blooming brilliant news! Congratulations. Did you just text this morning? How many days past tx are you now? So pleased for you 

KDJay - fingers crossed for the scan today! will be thinking of you.

Herts - I hope something happens for you soon!

I'm still testing haha, looking hopeful but won't get carried away. Had a BFP last time and ended in mc so am terrified of it happening again tbh. It was awful


----------



## KDJay

Sillywong!!!!!! Bloody fantastic !!! Congrats, I had a good feeling for you xx


----------



## SillyWrong

I am in absolute shock.  I really didn't expect the reaction I had when I saw the two lines, but I literally fell to pieces and couldn't pull myself together for about half an hour!  Drama-rama!  I spoke to my mum this morning too, and she just called me back to say she can't make it sink in!  I was like, er, Mum, I'm at work, can I call you later!? 

Anyway, i'm back in work now.  We had a lovely morning together this morning 

Herts - what a nightmare with your clinic  I hope your CCG can be of help. 
Peanut - yes we tested this morning.  I woke up at about 5.45 and woke Mrs up and told her I was going loo!  
KD - am sending ALL the vibes for you now love - hope it's going OK this afternoon.  How many weeks is DW now? 
Divas - where've you gone!?  You're not off having that baby already are you!? 
Poppy - hope all the 'stuff' is going well


----------



## SillyWrong

oh - sorry peanut, 9dp5dt


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## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations SillyWrong!


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## KDJay

Oh wow well done silly wrong! Non-alcoholic celebrations for u in brighton this weekend 

Afm - scan went well,9 weeks 2 days and even saw the baby wriggling about! It was putting it's hand up to it's head and moving at the waist xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

Oh KD ... I feel like I'm going to cry for you!! Totes emosh today!


----------



## KDJay

Aw thanks Hun! I'm super chuffed for u two too!!! Xxx


----------



## Autumn13

Hi Ladies, hope you don't mind me joining in!

Congratulations to everyone who has had great news lately, I hope this forum can bring me good luck too!!
We are a f+f couple just starting our first try at SP IVF. I was found to have polycystic ovaries (but I don't believe I have PCOS) and an AMH level of 96! 
3 months and many inofolic drinks down the line I have just started stims a few days ago, feeling surprisingly OK so far. First scan for us on Friday, let's hope I'm responding!

Hope you are all well


----------



## Herts85

Sillywrong -         Congratulations hunni, fingers crossed you have a stress free 9 months! Did you have one or two transferred? X

KDJay - wonderful to hear the scan went well, you must both be so thrilled after the bumpy start initially. Will your next scan be 12 weeks? I bet you have a big breath that you're holding until then! Congratulations on the flat too! X

Peanut - I'm thinking you are a cautious bfp from what you've said so I will give you a whispered 'yay!' and save the pom-poms for later!  x

Autumn - welcome! I haven't had my Amh tested personally but from what I understand that sounds like a good high one! Hope your clinic is keeping a close eye on you to avoid overstimming. X

Sarahsuperdork - not long till you start dr! X

Divas - hope baby is behaving and the building/decorating is finished! X

Poppy - hope everything is progressing well and the course went well x

Thank you to everyone for your words of support, I'm still waiting for a response from my clinic despite three different emails saying the query has been passed to the right person/department and they will get in touch with me!

Herts x


----------



## peanut165

KDJay that's amazing! So pleased for you. I bet it's so cool to see your little baby on screen 

Sillywrong has the news sunk in yet? Have you tested again since? Will you be telling your family/friends straight away or waiting a while in your little bubble?   

Hi Autumn, hope all goes well at your first scan    exciting x

Herts....are you able to give them an ultimatum? You'll take your 'business' elsewhere kind of thing?


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Hi and welcome Autumn, wow that's some AMH. I was told mine was good (26!) but that's incredible. You can have PCO without PCOS, so it's good that you don't have the syndrome. I'm the other way around, I have PCOS without all the follicles. Good luck for your first scan.

Yay KDJay, lovely news! 

Herts I'm so sorry everything is taking so long for you. If you've had your injection teach and drugs, what is taking them so long? I didn't have my drugs delivered until after my nurse consultation and then my clinic just start you on your next AF. It's mad that you're still waiting.


----------



## Herts85

Peanut - Think I may have to, just so frustrating - as if it's not already hard enough! X

Sarahsuperdork - thanks Hun, I have no idea what's going on. In fact I'm going to run it by you all cos I'm too involved and can't see it objectively anymore! X

All - sorry for the me post but a second opinion would be great!

Firstly we are very lucky to receive funding, I am so grateful to have received this and actually our NHS care on this journey has been pretty good so far. (As an aside the funding is due to discovering I have pco/s (they've never been able to figure out if it's the syndrome), stage 3/4 endometriosis, adhesions from childhood surgery and crap tubes which make an ectopic more likely unless we go through IVF.)

Our journey so far is:
Sept 14 - went to GP, referred to gynaecology/fertility unit, 
Dec 14 - fertility app, referral for bloods done, 
March 15 - results of blood tests, scanned by consultant - endo suspected, 
May 15 - HyCoSy, Lap and Dye done privately but by same consultant, IVF recommended, 
June 15 - confirmed NHS funding, 
August 15 - chose clinic (based on consultant running satellite for the clinic) confirmed with consultants secretary, 
Sept 15 - chase things as no progress, lost our previous correspondence apparently(!), 
October 15 - 1st clinic appt (at main clinic not satellite) - drugs teach and drug given, we had a lot of questions re: funding and sperm which clinic didn't know and said they would get back to us about, 
Nov/Dec 15 - chasing them constantly for answers - nothing, 
Jan 16 - throw toys out of pram and demand CMV test as they had never done it and a response to previous questions, they book CMV test and advise they are only now contacting the CCG re: funding queries (essentially we want to be able to use our NHS funding for sperm at an external sperm bank as our clinic has a tiny amount of donors)
Feb 16 - CMV test seems to have come back negative but not sure as only heard over phone, still waiting for the correct department to discuss the results with us along with our options re: sperm.

In the last 7 days I've chased this 3 times and had responses to say the message has been forwarded to the correct person who will contact me. 

Am I being unreasonable?  

Herts x


----------



## sarahsuperdork

No, I don't think you're being unreasonable! It's ok to be frustrated even though you're lucky to have NHS funding; funding doesn't mean you should have second class status. It sounds like a nightmare  I know every CCG is different but ours sorted our donor sperm for us; my CMV status was on the basic bloods they did at one of our first appointments and as soon as that was done, we made an appointment with the nurse who did the donor coordination. It sounds like you're waiting on the sperm, nothing more. I don't know how helpful it is but here's my rough timeline:

May 2012 - Initial GP appointment, blood tests and ultrasound to check for PCO. All clear. 
Aug 2012 - Lap and dye; both tubes blocked. 
Dec 2012 - Left tube removed, got NHS funding letter through. 
Feb 2013 - No waiting list, referred for IVF. 
April 2013 - Consultation, chose donor sperm. 
May 2013 - Had mandatory counselling session (this was the only reason we had to wait so long). 
July 2013 - Started long protocol IVF. 
August 2013 - BFP.

I was pregnant within 12 months of my original lap and dye. Can you ask to make an appointment with whoever deals with the donor side of things?


----------



## SillyWrong

Hi Autumn, welcome  Congrats on getting started!  We did SP too, much prefer it over LP, it seems to go so much quicker!! So fingers crossed, you'll be in for EC and then PUPO in no time at all!  Stick around here, it's lovely to follow journeys!

Herts - thank you love  fingers crossed indeed!  We had two transferred!!!
It's not OK, all that chasing and waiting.  We had problems with our clinic and wrote them a long letter to outline to them exactly what our experience had been - the medical director requested a meeting with us after that.  I would write a letter to your CCG and the clinic (one letter addressed to both) if I were you and outline in specific detail what's happened date by date, and what your expectation are going forward.  Also give them a date you expect a response by.  If you decide to write, and would like another pair of eyes to cast a glance over it, I'd be happy to help.  Urgh I'm sorry for you guys, this sounds like such a hard slog, you deserve better.

peanut - yes we called our parents and siblings right away and told them, we'd told everyone we'd be "thinking about IVF again in the new year" so it was surprise to everyone as they weren't expecting it so soon, I think they were waiting to hear we'd started!  My Dad was a bit flummoxed initially but sent me an email later congratulating us again and signed it 'Dad/Grandad' 

Sarah, I have everything crossed for you that the scan goes OK today.  Come back and tell us x

KD - did you celebrate last night?  Oh, and I remember you saying you had your booking in appointment really early.  Did you just phone your GP to let them know or did you have an appointment?  I have no idea how it all works.  I'm going to register with a new GP next week, only been with mine a few months (after we moved) and they have proved to be bobbins!

Divas & Poppy - hope you're both OK, if a little awol! 

AFM - We are trying so hard to push the nerves away.  Tomorrow is OTD, so i'll test again then and then call the clinic to inform them (we called them yesterday but they asked us to call back on OTD.)  I stupidly have it in my head that it's going to come up negative tomorrow.  I know it's almost not possible, but it's just a thought that's nuzzled it's way in and won't go away.  Our line was good and strong on the test (there's a pic on my blog if you want to see - linked below.)  
EVERYTHING smells.  I am smelling things I have never noticed before, it's like my nostrils have become super sonic!  Dinner time is interesting, I don't feel sick but the smell of things is really putting me off!  Apart from that, not much else - have had a bit of a funny tummy and trapped wind (think it's the 3x a day pessaries!) for the last week or so, so am feeling bloated, it's nice to 'feel' pregnant, even if it is only a fart baby!


----------



## KDJay

Herts the delays you have experienced are not acceptable nhs or not! Time is everything in the fertility world and it does seem weird that there are delays at this end stage. We didn't even consider the nhs route as I am so impatient and I knew it would wind me up with all the delays and I wanted to be as stress free as possible  so my heart goes out to u! Def pursue a complaint. 

Silly wrong that is so lovely about ur dad! My dad passed away last ur and I have no idea what he would make of all this but I know it sounds weird but I have had really weird signs during this journey that make me feel my dad is near. 
No celebrating last night , I think I've come down with flu so I am bed bound and crying for my mum lol! Just hope dp doesn't catch it! Regards the booking in, as soon as we found out we contacted our gp and they gave us the community mw number and then we called then and they made an appt for us so de call ur gp and see what the process is where u are - off to read ur blog now seeing as I am bed bound


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## sarahsuperdork

Sorry to hear about your dad KDJay  I hope you get some comfort from knowing he's near. 

SillyWrong - We announced to my dad with our 7 week scan photo and a the caption 'hi grandad!'; he was over the moon! Try peppermint tea for the trapped wind if you haven't already. 

Thank you guys for all the scan luck; everything normal so I am good to start tomorrow!


----------



## SillyWrong

Aw KD sorry you're not well.  Hope you're feeling the benefit of a sofa day though, I love a day with the duvet and the remote! No good if you're feeling rotten though.  And I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, too.  It must be really hard, especially going through something like this and not being able to talk to him about it.  Lovely that you feel like you're getting little signs though, it must be a comfort x

Sarah, brilliant news - you're on your way!

Now, this is weird ... there's a girl in the office next door to me, I got chatting to her on the christmas do (I've known her the 10 years we've both worked here but we don't talk all that much outside work, except on work do's.) Anyway I ended up mentioning IVF (don't know how it came up since I've been strict on keeping it all private at work) and she said she's also going in for it - they have both male and female factor infertility.  Anyway, I emailed asking after her a week or so ago, and she mentioned that she had her first appointment to discuss IVF on 3/2 (yesterday) so I shared that that would be the day I would know either way .... anyway, she just emailed asking if there's any news, so I told her the good news (sharing news with other people going through the same doesn't count, right!?) and asked how her appointment went .... she said the appointment was unnecessary as she found out yesterday she's pregnant!  So random that we found out the same day!  So lovely for someone who has given up hope of falling naturally!  Also, how random that our dates are going to be almost identical! 

Sorry I know that's not all that interesting from the outside, but you guys are now the only people (apart from dw) I can talk ttc related stuff with!


----------



## Divas212

Hi, sorry i'v been awol, been busy trying to sort out my case load at work prior to mat leave a week tomorrow and I so can't wait, I'm exhausted not quite as bad as the first 12 weeks but gee I'm tired!! Big bump wiggle bum is just spinning on his bum not playing ball in turning so looks like I'm heading for a section as he is breech!! Nursery is more or less finished my DW has done an amazing job putting all the furniture together (at some points the air was as blue as the walls!!) we have a jungle theme going on!! Just need the wall stickers to come. Done the first loads of baby clothes washing so excited and a little apprehensive x


----------



## Autumn13

Hi everyone , hope you are all well 

Herts - have you been brave and sent a complaint in yet? Or even better, have things magically progressed in the last couple of days without you having to put your 'firm but not stroppy letter-writing-hat' on? Being CMV-ve is frustrating in a way as it narrows down your pool of potential donors, but we found that it was sort of useful as it helps you not have too many to choose from which is so daunting! 

Sillywrong - yes I'm thankful I'm on SP, the down reg part of LP doesn't sound like fun. I just really expected to feel a bit rough by now so I just feel like I'm waiting for something to happen! Have you tested again today? Fingers crossed its a very convincing BFP for you. 

KDJay hope you have picked up a little bit today and not feeling so rubbish. 

Supersarahdork - good luck for your injection today, bet you are glad to get under way 

Peanut - thanks for the welcome,  have we made it to OTD for you yet? 

Divas  - I will cross my fingers that the postie brings the stickers soon so you can get the nursery finished and relax 

Apologies if I've missed anyone. AFM, I had my first scan and bloods today (day 7). Looks like there are about 8 follies over 1cm and another 8 or so smaller ones. Starting cetrotide tonight and back for another scan on Sunday. Anyone had any experience with cetrotide? Should I expect any particular side effects?

xx


----------



## Herts85

Hi everyone! Sorry I'm doing my usual night owl posting, I've just gotten back from a gig (skunk anansie) with some friends which was really fun bit a little tiring after having a work thing on Thursday that I didn't get home from until 2:30am. Plus work on the Friday! Zzzzzz now! 

Sarahsuperdork - thanks for your support and your timeline, it's really helpful and I only wish ours looked liked that! Big woohoo to starting dr, all systems go for you - sending lots of positivity your way x

Sillywrong - all sounds good and positive, I wonder whether you'll have more than one! Your 'fart baby' comment had me chuckling! Hope you're enjoying your superhero sense of smell  How wonderful for your colleague and great for you to have someone to share the journey with. Thank you for your kind words and the offer to sense check for me! I'm normally the one doing that sort of thing but I'm a bit too involved with this! Really annoying as, due to my increasing frustration, I sent a long email outlining everything on New Year's Eve and thought that had gotten through to them! X

KDJay - thanks, it is disappointing, not just as a patient but also as a tax payer, it saddens me that the services that a hefty chunk of my payslip helps to provide could be so substandard. So sorry to hear about your dad, I hope he is with you throughout this journey in whatever way you can feel his guidance. Hope you feel better soon, I swear by hot toddies for cold/cough/flu. I'm sure they do help and they are yummy! X

Divas - good to hear you're in wind down mode. Hope finalising work matters isn't too stressful. Are you spending lots of time daydreaming in the nursery? I think I would! Hope you get some certainty soon re: delivery. I think there are a lot of pro's to a planned c-section, a friend of mine recently had an emergency one and was surprised at how quickly and well her body settled down and healed X

Autumn - sadly no progress but will be wearing out my keyboard venting my frustration this weekend with my 'firm but not stroppy' hat on!   The list of donors is already tiny (about 1 without being CMV- which I think brings it down to 4. Ultimately we'll go with whatever we can do in the range of options available to us, I'm just frustrated they didn't follow up my queries from October until recently. It's interesting that a lot of us LGBT-ers are CMV-ve. It sounds like you've made exciting progress, they sound like good numbers - will cross my fingers for lots of eggs for you! X

I'm thinking I don't need to do an 'Afm' bit as I've probably incorporated it into everything else but just wanted to say thanks for listening and for your support  It really helps to speak to others about this especially as the few people who are aware this is on our horizon don't know about it in this much detail and have little understanding of the process!  

Herts x


----------



## peanut165

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the lack of posting. Been a bit busy with DD and her social life!! So much better than ours! Lol. Well it's OTD today and we got a BFP!! We are happy but still cautious, one hurdle down anyway.

So Sillywrong how are you feeling? You were away this weekend weren't you? Hope all still ok KDJay and Divas?
Autumn and Sarah how's the cycle so far? What time is your scan Autumn? Herts, have you got your complaint ready for tomorrow? 

Lots of luck and love xx


----------



## Divas212

Peanut, congrats to you both x


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## KDJay

Big congrats peanut! Lots of good news on this board!


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## peanut165

Thanks ladies ❤😊


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## poppy05

Hi girls


Sorry for lack of personals, i've been really poorly with a nasty viral infection, still feeling crappy and ive had it 8 days now! 
We had our adoption prep course on friday and i have no idea how on earth i managed to get through it? but somehow i did, we just have our medicals to have on wednesday, then thats everything done for stage 1, our completion date isnt until march 21st, so will be a bit of a wait to find out if we have made it onto stage 2, but its good to be organised and ready to move on as and when we are asked to.


I havent read back through your posts yet so apologies if ive missed anything big   


poppy xx


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## Autumn13

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing well. 

Peanut - congrats on bfp! How are you feeling? 
Poppy- sounds very exciting, hope you sail through your medicals. 

I had a scan on sunday, another one today and have just done my trigger ready for EC on wednesday. I'm still feeling hardly any effects of the drugs but have a decent amount of follicles over 10mm now. It feels like time is flying by!

Autumn x


----------



## Divas212

Autumn13 - good luck for wens!! Which clinic are you with? 

Poppy- exciting news, hope your feeling better soon x

Afm - I'm feeling poorly with sinusitis, midwife later to see if little monkey has turned, if not consultant appointment will be arranged to discuss section!! I'm off today and only have 3 more days left at work...woohoo, although a little scary as that means he'll be here very very soon x


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## SillyWrong

Hi All!  Sorry I've been awol for a bit too!  Been away for a few days 

Divas - so close to your leave now!  Let us know if "Big bump wiggle bum" (ha ha ha!!) turns.  How are you feeling about the prospect of CS vs VB?

Autumn - Oh, EC tomorrow!  I have been behind!  Good luck!  Come and let us know how it goes, we'll be waiting to hear!  

Herts - I LOVE Skunk Anansie! I'd love to see her.  "Secretly" is my bestest! 

Peanut - AMAZING news!  It's so exciting! Congratulations to both of you 

Poppy - sorry to hear you've been poorly x

KD - I hope you and DP are doing good  Brighton was grim and cold and wet and windy this weekend! 

AFM - i've started to get a bit queasy.  Went out for breakfast on Sunday and had eggs benedict - had to send it back as they didn't cook the eggs through like I asked, then tucked in and it was lush to begin with, then all of a sudden my stomach turned and it was like there was a pile of maggots sitting in front of me!  I had to go outside for some air.  I think I'll be off eggs for a while now!  Been feeling queasy every day, though it usually clears up by about 2 or 3.  
Also did a clear blue date test this morning and it came up 3+, which is further than I am (they don't date like the Dr does, so 3+ actually means 5+) so I'm starting to become increasingly concerned about the possibility of twins!  (Though I'll be 5 weeks tomorrow) We have agreed - if it's twins, we will be hugely excited and terrified in equal measures (but of course will cope fine with it), if it's a singleton, we'll probably feel slightly relieved!


----------



## KDJay

Hey everyone, it sounds like everyone has been poorly around here including me!

good luck for EC Autumn! 

Sillywrong - yes Brighton was very grim this weekend, the sun is shining now though! When is your first scan, have you booked it yet? Our first one showed twins but now we have a singleton  - I am sure you will cope fine with whatever comes your way  

AFM - nhs scan is next week and I cannot wait, gone from worrying about miscarriage to now worrying that the baby is going to be healthy.


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## SillyWrong

KD - our scan is 26th Feb - SO. FAR. AWAY!  Is your scan next week the "12 week" scan? Who has been doing all your scans before now, is it your clinic?


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## KDJay

Sillywrong - 26th Feb!!! I am not going to lie to you it will drag until then! lol. how many weeks will you be at that scan? 

Yes the scan next week is the 12 week scan, we will be 11 weeks 4 days when we have it. First scan was at 5 weeks 4 days at EPU near my dp's work, second scan was at our clinic at 6 weeks 3 days, third scan was at local EPU at 7 weeks 3 days and then the last scan was at 9 weeks 2 days at our clinic again. We are not having anymore scans at our clinic now. Wow that seems like a lot of scans!!! The two at the EPU were because of bleeding, the two clinic ones were standard booked ones.


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## poppy05

Hi girls


Mod head on here    ive just been reading through some of your posts, and i feel it might be appropriate to change the name of this thread to maybe LGBT 2016 treatment and beyond? just so any new people joining can  know that there will be pregnancy chat within this thread, some girls get upset by pregnancy chat during the stressful time of treatments and after especially if BFN, mc and bad outcomes, i dont feel the need to lock this thread down as its a good place for everyone to come and chat about everything, i just need to make it a bit clearer that this isn't a regular cycle buddy thread.
Everyone ok with that? 
Poppy xx


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## KDJay

Hey poppy , sorry! Yes that would be fine by me but totally understand if ppl just want a cycling thread but because we are such a small group it would be a shame to break it down so LGBT 2016 treatment and beyond sounds like a good name to me


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## Batwood2012

Wow, I can't believe how much activity has happened since we last logged on, this is a busy thread. Sounds like you ladies have had a lot of positive news for your various journeys, so congrats and good luck to all of you  

We've not been on for a while as life has been crazy - weddings/ trips / work commitments / appointments. I think last time I posted we had our first IVF cycle cancelled due to DW's FSH being too high. We frantically Googled for things to try to lower it (as you do! lol), and found a lot of good reports around Wheatgrass..... fast forward to this month, and her FSH levels had indeed dropped to below 10, giving us the green light to start treatment  Everything has ticked along nicely until EC yesterday, when they only managed to get 4 eggs, which we were a little disappointed by. However, we had a good feeling that these were a strong little bunch, and this was confirmed this morning when we got the news that all 4 had fertilised. This next few days is going to feel like the longest ever, but hopefully the little beauties will make it to 5 day blast. It's such a nerve racking time!!


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## SillyWrong

KD That's so many scans! I know you had a lot of worry to go along with them though so I won't envy you. Do you get two as standard with your clinic? We only get one (at 7 weeks), so far as I know, that's pretty standard - so you're lucky if your clinic give you two. Ours will be at 7+2

Poppy - absolutely fine by me. Though what about just something along the lines of 'LBGT: the journey to parenthood and beyond' to be more inclusive of those who aren't becoming parents by having 'treatment' .... ahem ... like yourself 

Batwood - Hi, not sure we've 'met' before. I know it can be disheartening when you hope for big numbers and then don't see them. Let me just tell you though about a [blogging] friend of mine who was in the same situation, only 4 eggs collected - got pregnant first time with a lovely day 5 blast, and is now 20 weeks. I know when people say 'it only takes one' it's hard to get on board because of course we all want insurance back up and as much chances as possible ... but I hope that in a few weeks you and your DW will be looking back and wondering at all the worrying, when you get your BFP. Have everything crossed for you. Stick around here - lovely bunch of lasses and much support!


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## KDJay

Sillywrong - I know so many scans!!! you can have as many as you want at our clinic if you pay for them at £165 a pop  lol! 

Batwood - I echo what sillywrong said that hopefully this will be a long memory - we only had three eggs fertilised which we were devastated at at the time but like you say they are a strong bunch and all three made it to blast, we transferred two and have the last one frozen for the future. I have my fx for you x


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## poppy05

SillyWrong i loved your idea so have gone with it, our thread has been renamed LGBT journey to parenthood and beyond. xx


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## KDJay

woo hoo love the new name! Thanks x


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## sarahsuperdork

New thread title looks good 

Hiya Batwood, great news that all 4 eggs fertilised. Fingers crossed they keep growing well!

Hope everyone is well. I'm DR day 5 today, feeling quite tired but glad to have done almost a week now.


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## Batwood2012

Thanks for all the words of encouragement, and it's always nice to hear success stories from others at a time like this  

Poppy - I like the name change, I think it represents us all well xx


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## Herts85

Good evening everyone - lots to catch up on! 

Firstly Poppy05 - LOVE the new name, I actually meant to suggest something along those lines over the weekend but got wrapped up in other stuff and forgot! I think it will be lovely to keep in touch and follow the journey beyond the beginning, although I get what you're saying about people needing to be warned about bfp's/children stories etc. It sounds like everything is progressing well with your application, I hope you sail through to stage 2! X

Peanut165 - yay for the bfp   I know what you mean about little people's social lives, my colleagues' weekends are completely taken over by their children's social commitments! X

Divas212 - not long until the end of work for a good while, hope you've finalised all the bits you wanted to - if not then sod it! lol! How did you get on at the midwife, has your little one turned over or are they being a little rebel in utero?  x

Sillywrong - Oooh twins, that would be exciting but nerve wracking I guess! It was a great gig, her voice is crazy awesome and she is ageless! Great suggestion for the thread name. Sorry to hear about the queasiness, must be reassuring but I'd be gutted as I love eggs at brekkie!   Hope it goes quickly to the 26th for you x

KDJay - sorry to hear you've been poorly but fab news that your NHS scan is next week! It seems to have flown by! Hopefully you can really enjoy it after next week x

Batwood2012 - well done getting the fsh levels down, 4 fertilised is great and a lot of clinics are advocating quality over quantity for eggs at the moment. Here's hoping you have a crop of super embryos there! X

Sarahsuperdork - good to hear dr is going well for you. Hopefully the tiredness will soon pass but it must be hard with a toddler who wants to play! X

Afm I had a call from the clinic office manager last night saying that the relevant department (embryologists apparently!?) will get in touch with me today and to let her know if they haven't by 4pm. I'm sure you can guess what happened next.....! I sent an email directly to the CCG with our queries on Sunday and that seems to be progressing so hopefully we can pull our funding from that clinic and move to a new one! X


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## peanut165

Hi everyone,

Nice to see everyone seems to be ticking along nicely in their various stages! 

Whatever we're doing its all a waiting game! Our first scan is booked in for the 29th of this month! Ages away lol. Got a new lot of drugs delivered today so all good.

Out of interest, Sillywrong how much progesterone are you taking? And is it cyclogest or Utrogestan?

Love the new name.


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## SillyWrong

Herts .. fingers crossed love.  I hope they can see what a rough time you've had and expedite it for you.  Despite you writing out yur timeline, I still don't understand what the delay is - is there actually anything anyone is waiting for or are the clinic literally just blanking you? 

Peanut .. I'm on 3 cyclogests a day and 6mg of estradiol.  On the last two rounds I was on 2 a day, the first time was fine (BFP-chemical) the second round, I started spotting from 2dp5dt and didn't stop, it got heavier until I got my BFN and stopped the meds and came on properly.  My Dr didn't think there was anything to worry about and would have been happy for me to do 2 a day again, but could see I was worried about it so we agreed between us that I would up my progesterone to 3 a day as it would do no harm and I would feel like I was doing something more!  Did you have 1 or 2 transferred?

Our scan is booked for 26th - we phoned the clinic this morning and told a fib and said we couldn't make it and asked for an appointment earlier that week, but they couldn't fit us in, so we've kept the same one.  Urgh, it's hard, this wait!


----------



## Autumn13

Hi everyone.

Just a quick update from me, had EC today and got 13 eggs from 13 follicles, let's hope 13 is a lucky number for us!
Divas - I'm at Midland Fertility, hats off to them, they did a good job of monitoring me and keeping the ohss risk down even with my high ovarian reserve and I'm feeling absolutely fine after EC (literally could have gone back to work if I could have driven).

Sillywrong-I'm sure the 26th will be here before you know it, its likely to be my OTD so I sure hope it flies by!

Hope everyone is well xx


----------



## Divas212

Wow this thread is moving fast or have I just been in baby brain mode and forgot a few days....who knows lol sorry for the lack of personals from me as I can't remember who said what and I'm on my phone.

So it's the year of the monkey and we have ourselves a little monkey, bum down head up still not for turning, his head quite comfy wedged under my ribs!! I'v to go for a scan on Monday to confirm midwife and ours thoughts of him being head up and believe it or not it'll be our 20th scan!! At the beginning we had bleeding so scared from 5 weeks onwards, a couple of private scans and all the growth scans due to being IVF ha they all mount up but this should be the last one before we meet our wiggle bum monkey lol as for cs v vd, i must admit at first I was really disappointed and was trying everything to get him to turn because as mental as this sounds I really wanted to experience labour. However, now whatever is best for our little dude is all that matters, my wife is strongly against ECV (where they try to manually turn baby) she has a skewed look on all thing medical as she's medical herself and has been exposed to all the emergency situations related to maternity care so I have to go with her opinion really, she's a bag of nerves regarding it all, added to the fact she has previously worked at the place I'm booked at (they have this thing about staff and ex staff are always trouble as in weird things happen when they patients). I'm sure all will be fine and we know we're in good hands!! My wife has been busy sticking jungle stickers on babies walls today, giraffe, trees and of course monkeys lol


----------



## KDJay

Autumn well done on ec that is a great Number! I felt fine the day of ec too even after the general an went bk to work the next day but as the week went on I felt worse. 

Divas - so lovely to hear your update and that does sound like a little monkey u have in there! It sounds like u are in very safe hands there with your wife xxx

I can't remember who asked about progesterone but just thought if add that dp is also on three times a day pessaries, utrogestan plus gestone which is a mega hit of progesterone every day but as she has technically had donor eggs she needs more progesterone than ladies that have been through EC as that naturally produces the right hormones x


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## SillyWrong

Autumn that's a brilliant number!  We got 13 first time and 14 second.  Dr's always said they thought it was a good solid number in terms of quality etc   Did you get a call about fertilisation?  Let's hope 26th is a good day for both of us - will you wait til OTD to test, do you think?

Divas - cheeky monkey! I know exactly what you mean about wanting to experience birth - I'm going to spend the next 8 months getting myself in a good positive head space about birthing!    

Hope the rest of you are well, not much going on at the moment but wanted to give the thread a kick up the backside!


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## peanut165

Autumn that's great well done!

Divas I hope your little man co operates for you soon!

Sillywrong, previous attempts I was on 2 cyclogest (800mg) a day first was bfn then with bfp when I started bleeding they put me up to 3 per day (1200mg) This time they said cyclogest wasn't available so put me on utrogestan 3 x per day but it only works out at 600mg per day. I was worried about this but clinic not concerned so I have been adding an extra cyclogest that I had from previous cycles daily! Badass!! Lol told the clinic and magically cyclogest are available now which they sent with the next lot of utrogestan. We had 2 embryos put back! Did you? Desperate to know how many are in there lol.

KDJay, sorry to ask but do they think the 2nd embryo caused the bleeding for your DP? Our clinic never mentioned about needing more progesterone for 'donor eggs' I think I'm slightly obsessed with taking enough!! 

Everyone else, hope you're ok xx


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## KDJay

Hey peanut - well the sonographer said the second sac wouldn't cause any bleeding and that bleeding is hormonal but the nurse mentioned that we might have the bleeding because of the second sac so who is right!?! I am more inclined to go with the sonographer as she is very knowledgeable. 

My nurse only mentioned the donor egg thing last week because she said when a lady goes through ec then their body is gearing up for carrying a baby and therefore the stimulation of the ovaries produces progesterone naturally but obvs ppl who dont go through EC don't have this but it sounds like you are on plenty enough progesterone. my dp only started on the injectables when she started bleeding and they are reluctant to stop them until she is over 12 weeks just in case.


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## sarahsuperdork

I can vouch for that theory - I was given a higher dose of progesterone on my FETs than my fresh, presumably because there isn't the ovarian stimulation.


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## KDJay

Yeh it makes sense, the nurse only explained this at our 9 week scan as the doctor told us he wanted to continue the injectibles although we were only originally taking th for the bleeding. Dp went bk to work yesterday so had to get a colleague to inject her bum again 😂 and today she had to do it herself!


----------



## Autumn13

Divas I totally understand when you say your wife has a skewed view- my DW has spent the last 6 months working on a neonatal unit so is massively aware of everything that can go wrong!

KDJay how bad did things get for you after EC? I've had a couple of really mild cramp type pains today, am hoping it won't go too much further downhill?!

Sillywrong - yes i'll wait until OTD, I cannot bear the thought of getting a false positive from testing early so I'm going to be an absolute stickler for the rules, you lot may need to remind me of this bold speech at some point!

I was back at the clinic this morning to review whether i had OHSS or not. The receptionist wouldn't let me go to the toilet when I arrived (it's a bit of a drive and I've been drinking loads so have got into the habit of peeing as soon as I get there so I have an empty bladder ready for my scan). I honestly thought she was joking but unfortunately not...they needed a urine sample so she made me wait until the dr was ready to see me!! Got the go ahead for a fresh transfer.
We later had a call from the embryologist, apparently 2 of our 13 eggs were immature but all 11 mature ones fertilised  they made a decision to freeze 3 straight away so just waiting to see how well the remaining 8 do in the next few days in the embryoscope. We are super chuffed, feel like we have gotten over the last couple of hurdles really well, just got the biggest ones to come still!! 

Hope everyone else is doing well! 
Xx


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## Divas212

Autumn great numbers there, very exciting!! When I had my first cycle we only got four that fertilised well and we had two 3day embryo put back first time round unfortunately ending in mc but the other two made it to blast and frozen. The first fet has resulted in this little monkey who is due any day and we are left with a sibling on ice, feel more than blessed to be having our little monkey but in time my wife plans to use the one on ice if it thaws ok 😊


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## KDJay

Autumn great numbers there, I've never heard of freezing some straight off? I wonder why that is, did they say? The day of EC and the day after I felt fine as if I had not been through anything at all and then as the week went on I just got really bad pains in my thorax hurting to laugh and cough breathless etc, I was admitted to hospital on the day before ET but discharged myself as they couldn't scan me for at least two days - so I went to my clinic and had the scan the same day as dp's ET. Didn't feel my normal self for prob another two weeks 

Divas - is it just the one frostie u have? We have one too and I'm thinking I may have that one inside me maybe


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## Herts85

Hi everyone, not sure why but I always seem to be on here around 'the witching hour'!

Peanut165 - hope time passes quickly for your scan, it'll be here before you know it! x

Sillywrong - the time til the 26th will fly by! Hope everything is going well for you! Our October to January delay was purely cause the clinic didn't do the CMV test and also we had asked some questions at the appt which they needed to speak to the CCG about. 11 weeks later, at new year, I sent an email outlining thei delays (there had been others before this) and expressing my concerns/dissatisfaction, the CMV test was then done almost straightaway. I'm still waiting for someone to explain the result to us, I think I'm negative but the nurse wasn't 100% sure, and was also waiting to find out whether we could use a positive donor as that was the only one of their tiny amount we liked. They pretty much were just blanking us but are now responding but not addressing the issues/questions so we are being passed around like a parcel. For example I now know what the process is re: +/- CMV sperm for someone who is CMV negative but haven't had it confirmed that I am CMV negative! I could scream but I'm doing ok at holding it together! X

Autumn13 - 13 eggs is great, definitely sounds like your lucky number! Great to hear that 11 have fertilised. I sympathise about the not being able to go to the toilet. I have complete granny bladder and laugh at the suggestion in letters to 'drink a litre of water two hours before your appointment'! X

Divas - your little monkey already sounds like a character! I think the thought of manual turning is pretty scary without knowing the medical ins and outs of it, so it sounds like your wife is being understandably cautious! 20 scans is impressive, it must be amazing to look at them chronologically and see your baby develop! X

KDJay - your poor dp having to let a colleague inject her bum! They must be really good friends! I'm impressed with the colleague, the thought of injecting anyone (even myself) gives me the heebie jeebies! X

Sarahsuperdork - hope everything is going well with dr. X

Afm - update pretty much as above to Sillywrong. All the waiting has made me worry that my job is too stressful and I should sort out my work situation before starting IVF treatment properly. But there are no guarantees IVF will work so the earlier we start the better. Also our plan b if the funded treatment fails is to egg share (if possible) and the age limits for that are pretty low so the longer we leave it the less chance that that's an option. If I was advising a friend I would say they've been overthinking the situation and to just get on with it!! X


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## Elerifairy

Hi all, ok if I join you? 
We're on our 4th Iui after 3 failed unmedicated (but funded) cycles. 
I can sympathise a little Herts85, my clinic has been fab but being CMV negative gave us no options and massive waits (6months for first donor, then another 3 months when he ran out). 
A different story now we are self funding as we could ship our sperm in so got a donor from Brighton fertility with no wait.
I'm currently bamboozling the docs with my scans and bloodiest, I seem to always have a good size follicle very early and good lining but low estrogen which they can't understand. After a mini meltdown earlier this week (I was getting frustrated that even though we were now medicated nothing was different) they have paid a bit more attention and determined that the big follie is possibly a cyst (so potentially my first 3 cycles were all busts because they were always looking at this persistent cyst).
Upped my meds Wednesday and got a scan later this morning to see what's going on. Just got to hope I haven't over responded or they will cancel the iui.


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## KDJay

Morning! 

Herts - I can't believe the things that u are having to deal with that are causing u delay, surely the Cmv test is simple to say if you are negative or positive It all sounds so frustrating, my dp is negative too but coz we are buying it wasn't a problem. 

Elerifairy - welcome!!! We also used brighton fertility for our donor, I wonder if we have picked the same one!🙈 our one was matched to dp apparently they look quite similar and I had already picked him out before we were told this so we were happy, we are also pregnant now so it must have been a good choice as the lab told us it was excellent quality. How frustrating about ur naughty cyst! Where u having treatment ? X


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## Divas212

Herts it is great to see all the scan pics and watch him grow, my wife is a bit of an apple geek and has made a little movie of all the scan pics firstly for the announcement of our pregnancy but she has since added to it, lovely little keepsake for our family x


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## Elerifairy

KDjay that would be very weird if we had the same one! We both looked at the full list together and both picked the same one independently so got the extended profile too. Couldn't be happier and on paper very similar to my wife! Curly hair blue eyes  
Having our treatment at Care Nottingham x


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## KDJay

Divas that is so lovely of your wife to do that! 

Elerifairy - ok that's not the same one as us then lol!  because we are both dark haired and dark eyed and our donor is the same xxx


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## Little_Pea

Hi all. Only just found this group. I will read back when I have time.

We have a 12 month old and are in the middle of a FET XXX


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## Batwood2012

Autumn - That's really great numbers. Keeping our fingers crossed for your next steps  

Elerifairy & Little_Pea - Welcome to the group. They are a really great bunch of friendly, supportive people on here.

I think last time we posted we had retrieved 4 eggs during EC, we were slightly disappointing but stayed positive and affectionately named them our 'Awesome Foursome' lol Fastforward to this week and all 4 fertilised, all four were looking strong on Day 3 (6 cell embryos) and we are now booked in for our transfer tomorrow. Eeeek!!

We feel like because we only have four, we would like to push for 2 embryos at ET, leaving 2 to potentially freeze. Does anyone have any experience of weather this decision would ultimately be ours to make, or if the Clinic can decide that we are only allowed a SET?

Thanks guys and Happy Friday


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## Elerifairy

I *think* that our clinics policy is only 1 unless you're over a certain age (35 or 37 is what's in my head), but I'm sure every clinic is different.


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## KDJay

Hey Batwood our clinic also recommend one at at time for under 35 and as I am 31 this is what they suggested but we said we wanted two so that is what we went ahead with. We had to sign something saying that we wanted two and the risks of multiples etc but ultimately the decision was ours. We had looked on the one at a time website and explained this to the Dr before making our decision. It was made easier for us to ask for 2 because the embryologist already brought it up leading up to ET when I chatted with her over the phone as I was so upset about our fertilisation rate - so then on the day of ET she told the Dr that we wanted to do two instead of us having to bring it up. When we went for our first scan at our clinic and the sonographer saw two sacs she asked 'how hard did you have to bend their arm'!


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## Divas212

Batwood we had 2 3day embies put back first time round which ended in mc and one fet this time round which has resulted in our lo who we are so ready to meet now. It's a very personal choice but if I could turn the clock back I'd have chosen a set first time. 

KD I think it was you that asked, we only have one frozen embie left and my wife will try with that one later down the line provided it thaws well etc but like I say we are more than happy with one if its not meant to be. She wasn't bothered about trying but I think after seeing me pregnant her desire has awakened to experience pregnancy, if it doesn't work we cross that bridge if and when but I don't think either of us at the moment can face a whole new round of IVF x


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## KDJay

Hey Divas , yes it was me that asked  - that's nice that she fancies experiencing it too and as you say you have your little miracle now so you can just cross that bridge when you get to it. I am not sure how I am going to feel and whether dp will carry again or maybe me -guess we dont have to think about that for hopefully a long time


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## peanut165

Sorrt to put a downer on things  had a bleed today. Devastated. 

Doubt we'll know anything still until the scan in a couple weeks really, we didn't know for sure last time....so ****


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## KDJay

peanut , so sorry to hear this but it doesn't neccasarily mean the worse , how many weeks are you today?


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## peanut165

3 weeks since EC so 5 weeks by what they date


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## Little_Pea

We had four last time. Two fab grades, one moult so fab and one kept till day 6.

We believed our clinic was 1 transfer only but on the day that suggested one fab and one not so fab to be transferred as the best place for the not to fab one was my
Womb.

We fell with one baby  other two were frozen xx


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## KDJay

My dp had her first bleed at 5 weeks 4 days (bright red/clots) and the epu scanned her to put her mind at rest and all was fine. I know it is hard for you given your history but it doesn't need to mean the worse. The sonographer said that she sees bleeds so often with ivf pregnancies - maybe try and get a scan for next week because waiting 2 weeks is going to be hard for you!


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## peanut165

Thanks KDJay. When did they give your DP a scan? I asked locally last time as we were 5 weeks 3 days last time and they said it's too early!


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## KDJay

My dp had her first scan at 5 weeks 4 days within about an hour of bleeding. She went to a walk-in epu in London.  Where are you based?


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## peanut165

We're in Birmingham/Worcestershire


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## Divas212

Peanut - i'v also had two previous mc and had a bleed at the beginning of this pregnancy on and off for two weeks it was awful, I instantly thought it was a mc again but it turned out to be implantation. I don't want to get your hopes up but equally it's not over yet! It's easy for me to say now but all you can do is try to just go with the flow xx


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## KDJay

http://www.earlypregnancy.org.uk/FindUsMap.asp

Hey Peanut, you can look up early pregnancy units on this link and ring around to see if any offer walk-in or self-refer because I know how hard it is just to wait and hopefully all you will need is some reassurance.

/links


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## peanut165

Thank you. Means a lot.

It's not heavy or bright red, more watery brown tbh...can't tell if it's the start of mc or just random! Last time was straight away loads of bright red blood, grrrr so frustrating.


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## KDJay

Peanut that sounds like implantation bleeding to me and would fit with how early on you are too  - hopefully this panic will be a distant memory soon xxx


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## peanut165

I hope so too! Thank you. Wouldn't implantation bleeding happen before the test date? Always confuses me when people say implantation bleeding after bfp as I assumed it had already implanted lol thank you xxx


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## Elerifairy

They say brown is older blood usually so fingers crossed it's just your little embryo burrowing in and getting comfy for the next 9months (or 8 now!) 
Scan today didn't show much change so staying on the gonal f until scan again Monday, pretty much confirmed that I have a persistent follicle though and probably that is what has shown up each cycle. Explains the low estrogen as they should probably have been looking at the smaller follicle each time and waited longer. Very frustrating that we wasted 3 goes of iui but hopefully we're on the right track now and I'm feeling more positive that it could work as have a reason it hasn't so far! Xx


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## peanut165

Thanks Elerifairy fingers crossed. Good news that you're getting some answers 👍


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## sarahsuperdork

peanut - Yes, implantation bleeding happens during implantation, which is around 2-5dp5dt. Once you've got your BFP, your LO is already through that process. But brown blood is old blood and there's no need to worry (but if it turns red, call your clinic ASAP) just try to take it easy over the weekend perhaps. I had a bit of brown spotting when I was 11 weeks and it turned out to be nothing but it's completely normal to knicker watch and panic! 

Hi Elerifairy, glad you've finally got some answers. It's a shame that it's taken so long but hopefully onwards and upwards. 

Divas - Never say never; I said I'd never put myself (well, both of us really) through another fresh cycle but here we are. I was always of the mindset that with the fertility issues I have, we would be lucky to be a family of three but now I want a sibling for our DS as much as I wanted him in the first place. There's plenty of time to see how you both feel in the future.

Batwood - My clinic are very much 'one at a time' but it depends on the quality of your embryos, too. If you have one clear frontrunner that is great quality, they are unlikely to allow you to have two put back. I find this is especially the case on first cycles, because they have no idea how 'successful' you are yet, if that makes sense. I definitely want to push for having two this time because my embryos do not seem to freeze/thaw well but I think I will be fighting a battle over it, even though we're funding privately. I do think that if you're paying, you deserve the final say but it doesn't seem to work that way.

Good luck with your FET Little Pea!

Herts - I really hope things start moving for you soon, whether it's with your current clinic or with a new one.

Hope you and DP are well too KDJay.

AFM I'm day 8 of buserelin today, feeling exhausted and I've hardly done anything all day. I think the side effects are starting to show. 11 more days of this, yawnnn.


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## Herts85

Wow lots of post, and look at me being 2-3 hours earlier than usual!  

Elerifairy - welcome to the madhouse, nah to be fair this really is the most supportive, caring and encouraging group of people you could hope to come across! It sounds as though you're previous attempts have been frustrating, hopefully now they are taking you seriously your current cycle will be successful and you'll get some answers about the first three! X

Divas212 - that sounds awesome, I love making things along those lines. I set up a page on ******** for it but mainly do things for friends and family. As we're having a lean year in (hopefully) preparation for future mat pay and smp everyone is getting handmade gifts this year! Was today your last working day? Must feel very real now! X

KDJay - thanks, it is hard putting in all this effort each day/week, I just have to keep telling myself it'll be worth it in the end! Will your dp be able to come off the gestone after the 12 week scan next week? If so I bet she's looking forward to that! X

Little_pea - hi and welcome, I admire your bravery to potentially have two lo's under 2 years old! Fingers crossed all goes well for your fet x

Batwood2012 - that's awesome news, hopefully all four will be so strong that you only need to transfer one and can three on ice for a sibling! Hope et goes well tomorrow! X

Peanut165 - I hope the bleed is nothing to worry about, I can only imagine how worrying it is but everything I've heard suggests brown blood is fine. Especially following IVF and/or in early pregnancy - I guess there's a lot going on in there! X

Sarahsuperdork - sorry to hear that dr is going slowly. Hopefully once this is out the way your next stage will pass quickly! X


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## peanut165

Morning,

Thanks for the replies everyone, hope you're all ok today.

I think/hope/pray that the bleeding has stopped! It tailed off last night and never saw any fresh! So just resting now.

Thanks for all your support, really appreciate it ❤❤


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## KDJay

Sarahsuperdork - 11 more days oh my goodness!!! Bet u can't wait to start stimming now! Glad it's all going ok though. 

Herts - of course it will be all worth it and hopefully once u get started time will speed up for u and there won't be any stopping. U may need to give me some tips on handmade gifts I think we need to start pulling bk! 

Peanut - oh I'm so glad, I really don't think it's anything to worry about but def call ur clinic for advice/reassurance if u feel u want to and maybe get an earlier scan as i know how hard the wait is - the 2ww has nothing on this does it! 

Hope everyone else is doing well! 

Afm - we are just on count down till the 12 week scan which is less than a week away! My four beautiful nieces came to London to see a show with me last night and I showed them our last scan pic and they were all gushing over it and are v excited! They have all decided they want a boy as I have 7 nieces! God help any baby boy with this lot!


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## Divas212

Herts - yes I'm officially on leave from work now, my mat leave dosen't actually start until 4th March my due date but I'm on annual leave until mat leave. I'm off now for approx 14 months!!! My lovely work friends made me a huge hamper of baby presents and my wife and I opened it when she got home from work last night, lovely way to end the week, especially with the week my wife has had, never seen the morale so low in the NHS, but that's another story!! We're having a little baby shower tomorrow but our house literally looks like a bomb has exploded need to have a good clean and tidy later, but for now we are both going back to bed hahaha we're both exhausted and that's before the baby arrives lol x


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## Herts85

Morning all, 

Happy Valentines Day!  

Peanut165 - good to hear the bleeding has stopped, fingers crossed it stays that way! X

KDJay - 7 nieces!? Wow! Do you have any nephews? I have two nephews and a nerve plus two 'neices' that are a good friends children, a goddaughter and a soon to be godson. So a complete mixed bag! Hope the days pass quickly until your scan. It must feel like such a milestone, hopefully a bit more relaxing afterwards. X

Divas212 - 14 months off sounds amazing! Sounds like you are just counting down the days until your son is here, have you heard anymore about delivery? I can only imagine what it's like for anyone working in the NHS right now. I'm 110% behind the junior doctors  x


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## KDJay

Herts - yes I hve 3 nephews too! So ten in total, I'm the last of my siblings to have children. 

Divas - good luck for ur baby shower today! I would love to have one as I love other ppls baby showers xxx


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## Divas212

Herts - we are counting down the days, we can't wait!!! I feel rubbish at the min with infected sinuses so I'm glad I don't have to be in work, my wife is amazed i'v lasted until 37 weeks at work!! I'm going for a scan on Tuesday to confirm he is breech then go from there X

KD- neither of us have been to a baby shower before, we're having it at home, my wife has been amazing as always had a massive spring clean last night put up some baby bunting with his name on and organised a few games, although she didn't realise she had to pick up emergency chairs lol


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## KDJay

Divas I'm sure it's gonna be a lovely day for u, how exciting!!!! Xxxx


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## Autumn13

Hi all, how is everyone? Hope you are staying chilled and relaxed Peanut. 

I had a call from the clinic yesterday to say that all 8 embryos are looking good at 8 cells on day 3 so we are going in tomorrow afternoon for a day 5 transfer. KDJay they didn't explain much about why they were freezing some straight away other than to say 'they freeze really well at this point'. I'm hoping that means they were confident that one of the other eight would make a good day 5 blastocyst?? I made a call to our clinic's on call phone number this pm as I'm suffering with a bit of thrush and wanted to know what I'm allowed medication wise as I didn't want to jeopardise the ET tomorrow. She answered my questions (you're allowed the cream or pessaries but not tablets) but wasn't that reassuring - was hoping she'd say don't worry its common or it won't be a problem for ET etc. Did any of you girls have the same problem? I know its common with antibiotic treatment. 

Hope you all had a good weekend. xx


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## Elerifairy

Wow sounds like all your embies are doing fab! Lots of frosties too  good luck for transfer today! 
We've both got massive families too (my newest niece number 11 arrived on Friday) Hope we can add to the tribe soon! Got another scan this morning so hoping I've had some follicle growth (size not quantity or they'll cancel!)


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## Batwood2012

Hope everyone had a lovely Valentines Weekend  

We had ET on Saturday as planned. We got the call prior to say that 3 of our Awesome Foursome had made it to 5 day blast, and were all good quality. So, we made the decision to have a SET and freeze the other two..... test date will be on Monday, so we are gearing up for the longest week ever now lol

Autumn - Good luck with your ET today


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## KDJay

Autumn, I had thrush before EC and I was so worried I took cream but didn't use any the day of Egg Collection and the Doctor said the thrush wouldn't cause a problem. I probably wouldn't use anything today before ET if you have already just mention it at your clinic. I was told not to use pessaries just cream externally. 

Eleri, congrats on the new arrival and good luck for your scan

Batwood - congrats on being pupo, I actually found the wait not too bad as it was actually nice just to be in a little bubble of being pregnant until told otherwise! Hopefully you will find it the same xxx


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## SillyWrong

Argh, can't believe I've been away for a couple of days and five pages have appeared! I've only managed a quick scan as a catch up

Hi Elerifairy and Little_Pea it's nice to see new faces around here, I look forward to following your journey 

Peanut - sorry you had that scare love ... I bled on Friday too and it scared the beejeebers out of me - I read this though which was so helpful and informative: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=266378.0 it really makes it all make sense of the 'implantation bleeding' etc.

Herts - any news? I'm keeping everything crossed for you, it sounds a nightmare
Divas - congratulations on having finished work. Oh I can't wait for the day!
Autumn - it is transfer day today? Let us know how it goes 
KD - no news from you, but no news is good news right!? Hope you're both feeling good about things! When's your scan?
Batwood - congrats on your good strong embies, everything crossed for you. Remind me is the first try?

AFM .... poorly sick  My queasiness is getting stronger and stronger! The good news is that most of the usual remedies seem to be helping a bit (though not getting rid completely) so I have anti sickness wrist bands on and am filling up on ginger beer! It took me half an hour to get up the courage to leave the house to get on the bus this morning. Also exhausted, sleeping so much. I'm only 5+5 today - i'm becoming increasingly worried about twins! Of course, we'd be chuffed to have two, but it's double the worry!
Had a little bleed on Friday and took the day off work, in hindsight I didn't need to, but it worried me, even though it wasn't 'fresh' blood. It had finished by Friday eve.


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## KDJay

Sillywrong, good news that you are feeling queasy although you may not think so! My dp had lots of time off work because of bleeds so I think you did the best thing on Friday - it is such a worrying time isn't it! My dp was also completely exhausted at your stage and was just mainly sleeping most of the time! Still so long till you find out, I bet it is going so slow! Our scan is on Friday and I cannot wait, I have taken the day off work so that I can go back to South Wales where I grew up so that I can tell all my friends and family (if fx everything is still ok). I even managed to get dp in a baby shop yesterday (she usually runs a mile when I suggest it as she is so scared of things going wrong) and we coo'd over little baby suits but didn't buy anything. xxx


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## SillyWrong

Oh we stopped by the baby stuff in Sainsburys at the weekend and I was whining that I wanted to buy stuff - I'm not allowed though!  DW bought home the cutest pack of little boy baby grows yesterday for her friend who just had a baby and they're sitting on the side, I keep looking at them even though they aren't mine! 

Where do people stand on finding out the gender?  DW and I were both steadfast on not finding out, and we've not wavered from that ... except  now that I'm wondering if it's twins, I think I would definitely want to know the genders in advance, without a doubt - but she's still a no.  I have no idea how we would resolve that if the situation arose.


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## KDJay

Sillywrong - it's good that you are unanimous if it's a singleton - we are both totally in agreement with finding out, for us it cannot come quick enough to find out! I just couldn't wait till the birth I am too impatient xxx


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## Divas212

We wasn't going to find out, adamant we wanted a surprise until the IVF nude at the 10 week scan blurted it out that she thought he was a boy, then we just wanted to know for sure lol and he is definitely a boy, every scan feet in front of his face showing the world what he's got....typical boy!!


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## KDJay

Oh my goodness Divas that's amazing! I cannot believe she worked it out from the 10 week scan too - I am wondering whether the sonographer will have a cheeky guess at our 12 week scan  I wanted to have the harmony test so that you can find out the gender at 10 weeks but we can't have it because of the second sac we have in there would give a false positive x


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## Divas212

that was supposed to say nurse not nude lol, you will prob find the sonographer will be reluctant to have a guess, we have known this nurse since the start of our IVF journey and I think after everything we had been through together she was as excited as us lol....she's moved to a new role now which is a real shame as we'd have liked to have taken little dude to see her x


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## sarahsuperdork

We found out last time and would again. It made so much sense for us to be able
to pick things up in sales and get organised from a financial point of view. We didn't decide on a name until he was born, though.


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## Autumn13

I'm PUPO! Had a top grade blastocyst transferred and they froze another 5 for us. We only lost 2 of our 11 fertilised embryos so we are pretty chuffed with that! I'm not looking forward to 'taking it easy' for the next couple of weeks, I'm used to dashing around everywhere and not being careful with regards to lifting and stretching etc. 

Hope you are all well. xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Great news Autumn, enjoy taking it easy!


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## Herts85

KDJay - wow your parent's house must be full of little ones at family get togethers! How lovely to have all that experience to call on! I'm the last of my siblings to have children too despite being the eldest. Hope dp is feeling better and less tired as your pregnancy progresses. I wonder if you'll find out the gender at your 12 week scan. My friends didn't find out with their second daughter but with the first the sonographer explained a lot to them and apparently you can get a pretty accurate gender reading at 12wks, I think they said it was around 80-85% x

Divas212 - hope you had a wonderful baby shower and good luck for your scan tomorrow, you may find out the day you'll meet your little one! Exciting! Well done for making it to 37 weeks, those last few weeks must be hard to carry on working through - the ladies who do it in my office always amaze me! X

Autumn13 - congratulations on being PUPO! Sounds like you have a strong batch of embies there. Enjoy taking extra care of yourself for the next few weeks. Is this your first transfer? If not then are you in the wait til otd camp or the poas-addict camp? X

Elerifairy - hope your scan went well and you're on track with your treatment. Congratulations on the arrival of your niece, hopefully you'll be providing her with a playmate! X

Batwood2012 - congratulations on being PUPO too! Your awesome foursome were pretty awesome, great that you have strong frosties for future use! Will you be holding out for otd? X

Sillywrong - sounds like you've had a scary time of it, hopefully that's completely over now. Poor you with the queasiness, good to hear the old wives remedies are taking the edge off. It will be exciting to see whether you have one or two at your scan! It's interesting to hear your views on finding out the gender, I go either way quite easily on it. Must be so exciting not knowing until you see your baby though! X

Sarahsuperdork - hope dr is going ok. I completely see your point of view on finding out gender for sales shopping and planning etc. I know some people who found out but told everyone else they hadn't so they could pre-plan but no one else could, it was their own little secret! That's interesting that you didn't name your son until he was born, did you have a shortlist or literally just wait to see what he looked like/suited? X


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## Little_Pea

We were pretty adamant we didn't want to find out the sex with our first and the moment we found out we had a son was priceless so I'm so glad we made that decision,

Fingers crossed for another BFP for us. Again we have decided that nothing can beat that surprise so we won't be finding out. I did say to DW what if it's twins and she just said well that's and even bigger surprise!

We've got the date for out FET - next Monday eek xx


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## SillyWrong

Congratulations Autumn! That is a good strong set you have there! Don't worry too much about lifting and stretching - my Dr said that they'd be happy for ladies to run a marathon after ET, but recognise that we all feel we have to do what we need to, so that we never have regrets.  Best advice I received!  So, is your OTD on my scan date!? Let's hope the luck of this thread continues 

Good luck on the FET Little_Pea!  Is it a 3 or 5 day?  Are you excited?  

Hope everyone else is well and happy  

I just have a question to ask of those who have had (or are having) babies - I've been feeling a weird tugging sensation in the area I assume my womb is in (front, above public bone) almost like there's a piece of strong attached to my womb and it's getting pulled, about once every 2/3 hours.  It doesn't hurt, just a weird twinge.  It's started worrying me.  What is it!?!? I should probably ask this on the preggers board.


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## KDJay

Sillywrong - my dp has has exactly what you describe, I have asked her if it is like period pain or a cramp or pain and she just says it feels like tugging  - weirdly she has it at the same time every evening too (about 10:30pm) I think it is just the uterus streching and if it is not painful I wouldn't worry about it too much but if you do experience any pain call the epu as you haven't had your first scan yet xxx


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## Divas212

Well our little fella has finally turned, woohoo so happy no section for me but a little apprehensive I have to endure labour lol


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## KDJay

Divas that's great news- I had a feeling he would! Xxx


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## peanut165

Evening everyone,

Divas that's great news! Are you impatient yet? The last 2 weeks of my pregnancy were the longest ever and my DD was born on her due date! Lol

How are you feeling Sillywrong? I read that thread about implantation bleeding, thank you for that it really helped. How's the sickness? I keep feeling queasy every so often, like motion sickness more than anything and I certainly have the tugging feeling inside that you describe, I also had really bad shooting pains in my boobs during the night!?

Congratulations Autumn and Bateiod! Enjoy the bubble 

Hope all is ok with everyone else XX


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## Herts85

Little_pea - that's great that you have an fet date, will you be having one or two put back? X

Sillywrong - sounds like all is going well for you! Hope the tugging isn't too painful x


KDJay - is your scan tomorrow? If so then I hope it all goes well, have a feeling I may have gotten your day wrong though! X

Divas - yay! I'm so pleased for you, now the real waiting game begins - when is he going to arrive? We should play A guessing game - I'm gonna say 10th March, 7lb2  x

Peanut - hope it's going well for you x


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## KDJay

The scan is on Friday morning eeeeek! X


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## Herts85

Eek, very exciting for you though! How's the conveyancing going? Will you be in before little one arrives or are you planning to move afterwards? X


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## Divas212

Haha Herts I like it, I had a dream it would be the 15th March (I hope not) but will have to wait and see, he is due on the 4th, my wife is going for the 29th of Feb special day for a special baba, I say 8lb6 my wife says 8lb2


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## Autumn13

Sillywrong that is good to hear - I've felt a bit useless at work today as there's loads that I do that counts as strenuous, think I might have to relax the rules a little and just be sensible about things. The Dr told me yesterday to not eat big meals, I should just have lots of little snacks (so that you shouldn't have to strain so much to open your bowels lol). I wanted to point out that every women who ever got pregnant didn't avoid baths, lifting things and only eat snacks for 2 weeks every month!! Seems a bit overkill. OTD is indeed on the 26th, we'll cross our fingers for each other!!

Divas its great news the little monkey has turned! Hope you aren't kept waiting too much past the 4th! I'll put dibs on the 2nd as it is my birthday that day  My mum got told by her midwife that my due date was February 30th - oops!

Hertz - yes it's my first transfer, I am firmly in the wait until OTD camp (at least for now...)

Supersarahdork I love all the emojis on here! Thank you for the   you're an  

xx


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## SillyWrong

KD - thanks - I actually did a bit of googling and found it's very common, how have I not heard of it!? I was just getting concerned yesterday because it was increasing, but I'm feeling good about it now that i know it's another normal symptom! 

Divas - that's BRILLIANT news!  I can imagine that the sudden prospect of labour must seem a bit daunting now! Think of the sense of achievement and quick recovery by comparison! I'm putting my dibs on 9th March!

Peanut - I'm OK thanks, had a great day yesterday of energy and hardly any queasiness, but then had a terrible nights sleep last night with my dogs being unsettled and so I'm exhausted and sicky again today  I've not had any booby symptoms!  I never usually get anything noticeable on my cycles either so I'm not surprised.  DW keeps jabbing at them and asking if it hurts ... of course it does!!! 

Herts - hope things are going OK for you

Autumn - that does seem like overkill!  I saw ET described as a grain of sand in a jam sandwich, once it's in there, it's not going to 'fall out'!  I defo don't think you can poo it out! Ha ha!

DW made me do another prego test this morning as we had a CB digi left over (as if there is any question at all I'm pregnant!?)  - yes, I am 3+ weeks! Bless her!


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## KDJay

Divas  - I am going to vote for 6th March and 7 lbs 12! 

Herts - the conveyancing is going slow and we have to complete by end of March otherwise it is all off because of stamp duty changes  - I think deep down it is going to fall through but hey ho our current flat is right on the seafront so it will be lovely for dp on maternity leave so not the end of the world. What is the update for you?

silywrong - glad you feel reassured, there is so much going on in there that I would be completely paranoid if I was carrying - I think dp keeps most twinges and feelings from me! Yay for 3+, I was too scared to try the digi again to see if we got the 3+. How many weeks are you now? 

Autumn - I would def advocate the otd camp too, I have read too many women regretting testing earlier it convinced me to wait. 

hope anyone else I have missed is ok xxx


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## SillyWrong

KD - I am not allowed to keep anything from DW! I completely understand why, because I am feeling all these things, I 'feel' pregnant, she only has what I tell her to reassure her that it's all going on.  I have to admit though that when I was having the pains yesterday I didn't call her right away, I checked first whether it was anything to worry about first!  She's more of a panicker than me.  I'm 6+1 now.  Only 6 weeks to go until we can breathe again!


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## KDJay

Sillywrong - you sound like us, I am the panicker! and I totally identify with what you say about having to convey those feelings because as the other mum you do feel like sometimes you don't know what's going on. I constantly ask her questions about her symptoms etc and 'do you feel pregnant' to which she replies with her favourite answer at the moment to most of my questioning ' I don't know!' lol!  - yay to 6 weeks + 1!!!! - It feels long for me until your first scan so goodness how you must feel! I am starting to feel sick now leading up to our scan tomo eeek!!! i am just hoping it is going to be the best weekend ever and not the worst. I have taken the whole day off so I am hoping i will be able to have a fantastic day


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## Little_Pea

KDjay - two of both survive... Think they are thawing the 2CD AND 4CD not as good grades this time around - but staying positive

Not sure who asked about the pulling tugging.
But I had this all through my
First trimester last time xx


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## Herts85

KDJay - tonnes of luck and best wishes for tomorrow! Hope all is well with little one and you have lots of fun celebrating the news with your families and friends! Fingers crossed your conveyancing goes through, I'd forgotten about the SD rise but can easily see how that would scupper things. Still I can think of worse places to be then Brighton seafront!, X

Divas - hope you're chilling out at the moment and getting into the head zone for labour. Is there much chance of him turning again? I'd imagine there's very little space and he'll be engaged now? X

Autumn13 - sounds like your doctor wants you to stay in bed for two weeks! It's crazy how many do's and don't's there are considering some people get to 6+ months pregnant without realising and doing all sorts of bad things! I guess the flip side is the guilt and thinking I should've done x/y/z if it doesn't work. Hope you stay strong til otd and continue the bfp's on here! X

Sillywrong - good news about the test, really sounds like it's your time! It's sweet that your wife is being so involved and trying to understand/experience it all with you. X

Little_Pea - I hope your frosties are ok for Monday and snuggle in tight! X

Afm - I'm speaking with the CCG complaints team but also appear to have made some progress with the clinic. I'm hoping that we'll be able to set dates soon. Despite the clinic being pretty awful we do just want to get on with it now! My oh is away in the Middle East with work next week. I can't remember the last time we spent so long apart, will feel like my right arms been cut off! X


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## SillyWrong

KD - I'm thinking of you guys this morning!!! I know you're off home to see friends and family, I just really hope you get the chance to come back and let us know how it went! 

Herts - Oh I'm so pleased to hear that you guys seem to be getting somewhere.  It could be so close, right!?  If you're on SP you'll start on CD2, is that soon or will you have a while to wait? 

Hope everyone's well today.  
Divas, hope that little ones getting ready for the world! 
Peanut, I hope you're feeling OK, when is your scan again? 
Autumn, not long (yet, SOOOO long!) til Friday.


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## KDJay

Thank u ladies for your well wishes, scan went perfect! The baby was moving around so much it was hard for the sonographer to take measurements and she said the baby is naughty already! Lol - my sister in law just text me to say my five year old niece is completely confused how her two aunties made a baby! Lol - she has asked if the donor is going to come and live with us haha X


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## SillyWrong

Brilliant news


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## Divas212

KD- great news 😊 and bless your niece, she'll understand soon enough, maybe a chat about different types of family could help? That's what we try to do with children in care x

Herts - I'm hoping he won't turn back, it's unusual for them to do so but if this pregnancy journey teaches us anything it's to expect the unexpected lol I understand somewhat about your oh being away, although my wife only works 30 miles away when she works she works, sets off at 6am and isn't home until 10pm but quite often she does on call when she finishes at 9pm and could be there all night!! She is on call all weekend, this weekend, they class it as days off but it isn't days off as she just sits at home with her phone next to her, totally rubbish I hate her on call work!! If gov get their way and take away enhancements she is better off working at a supermarket better hours for the same money and not a walking zombie after 48 hours on call.....such a waste if it happens as she will have to leave a job she loves that makes a difference to so many....kinda similar to working away x


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## SillyWrong

Divas, is your wife a Dr?  I remember you saying (was it you!? sorry!) that she works with babies?  And do you work with looked after children?  My wife does too! She's a Clin Psych, she works in to care homes working with staff and the kids.


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## Divas212

Yeah I do and my wife isn't a Dr but works in anaesthetic's, the junior dr contract is going to ultimately affect contract negotiations for all health care professionals, scary times! The hours she puts in are awful but only going to get worse and it's scary what's going on in all areas of public sector. We'll be ok there are all sorts of options but it's about the county haha don't get me started on it all its just so depressing x


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## Divas212

She's worked a lot in maternity for sections and assisting with epidurals..... Maybe this is why I'm pregnant and not her hahahaha


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## peanut165

Hi everyone,

Glad to hear you're all ok. So pleased for you KD!! Must be so amazing to see your little one 😊 Did they give you a picture? 

Sillywrong, is time going backwards for you? Haha I'm sure it is here, I think I'm 2 days behind you as I'm 6 weeks today! Our scan is on the 29th as they don't scan on a Sunday at LWC Wales.

Has anyone here got a non English donor? We got ours from Cryos and he's part Danish/French/English! Can't remember what was said about Donors, we got baby pictures of him and an extended profile. Really happy with it.

It's my moms bday today and was mine last Sunday so we went for afternoon tea, I could have eaten it twice lol not ladylike 😂😂

Happy weekend xx


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## peanut165

Oh and did anyone else egg share? Sorry for being so personal if anyone is offended x


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## sarahsuperdork

peanut - Our donor is from ESB and is Danish. We didn't get the extended profile until DS was born and I applied on his behalf for more info, and we finally saw a baby photo and heard an audio interview when we bought another sample for this cycle. It was originally sorted for us through the NHS so it was a bit of a shot in the dark (all we knew was eye/hair colour, height, weight and occupation) but it must have been meant to be because the extended profile gives a really good impression of him.

Divas - That's sad about your other half, it's awful that you don't get to have a life together when she's on call. I will say that the supermarket comparison drives me bonkers, though; you do not get contracts of anything like that many hours working in retail and would never earn that much money. You can't get the same wage working in a supermarket as you do working in the NHS - yes, I know the math is sound but the logic doesn't translate to real life because retail is full of 0 hours contracts (if you're hourly paid) and unpaid overtime (if you're salaried). All the doctor vs retail comparisons I keep seeing on social media make me sad... because they're always making out that retail is relatively well paid and an easy life for the uneducated of society. I'm a degree-educated retail manager and all I can say is - I wish! 

KDJay - Glad the scan went well. 

Herts - Hope the time without your DP flies by. And that your treatment can finally start soon!


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## peanut165

Thanks for your reply Sarah, these Danes do get around 😂😂 Do you think you'll visit Denmark with your little ones and explain to them or anything in the future?


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## sarahsuperdork

We'd like to; we'll always be open about where their donor is from, I guess it's an easier decision when you're in a same-sex relationship because there's going to come a point where they know for sure that you can't both be genetic parents and that there must have been a donor involved somewhere.  From the interview, the donor sounded like he wouldn't be adverse to contact in the future so I liked that. If DS (and any siblings) want to know more, the option will be there for them perhaps.


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## Autumn13

We went for a donor who is English/Scottish/german (I think that's right!) but lives in the US apparently. 

My DW is a junior doctor, its not a great time in the NHS atm! Divas I agree, think we have the babies because those in the know panic too much!

Glad your scan was good KDJay  

Yes silly - so close but still so far away. I'm a bit worried by the fact that I feel absolutely fine at the minute, no symptoms at all  

xx


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## Divas212

Sarah - don't mean any offence by comparison to supermarket, could be any job with minimum wage. I understand your point with regards zero hour contracts but generally assumptions are made that junior dr salaries and allied health professionals salaries are a lot more than they actually are, when you break it down hour by hour they are on less than minimum, this gov have a lot to answer for zero hour contracts included! 

Autumn - yep agreed, think it's the exposure to those bad cases that stick in their mind, I firmly believe they have some sort of ptsd, just tragic what happens to some ppl! Makes you realise you need to live for the moment in some respects and remember the good ones....too much negativity within the NHS when in reality it achieves the impossible on a daily basis!! Much respect to your wife, what speciality is she in? X


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## sarahsuperdork

I don't think the government are to blame for 0 hours contracts, it's just the nature of the business - when customers want things so cheaply, the cuts have to come from somewhere. Nobody ever says "I'll pay more for my Primark pyjamas because I want the staff to get paid a better wage for selling them to me". But that's another story!  As a retail worker, I can tell you with certainty that a junior doctor's salary is more than mine (as it should be) just to put to bed the whole 'they could get paid more for stacking beans' rumour. 

I am very much looking forward to my full weekend in my shop, with no weekend supplement because they're just two days of the week the same as any other. Clearly DR makes me more opinionated  as you were everyone!


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## KDJay

Haha sarah super dork - the Dr making u opinonated made me smile! 

Peanut - I egg shared and we got our sperm from a UK bank in our home city actually! The lady matched us had met our donor so told us a bit about him, matched his looks to dp and we had an extended profile but no pics (which I'm grateful for) I got a bit too obsessed with pics on the ESB website! Lol!!! 

We had iui in Denmark and it is such an amazing place, we never felt it was a wasted treatment even though we had a negative coz we had such a lovely time there and had this romantic idea we would take our baby back if the iui worked! 

Divas - forgot to ask how the baby shower went ? Heart goes out to your dp and her colleagues!!! It is a demoralising time for sure! Saw my funny little niece tonight - my bro and sister in law have spent the last year prepping her for the arrival of a baby sister by explaining ' daddy's seed and mummy's egg' she just wanted to know where our seed came from. My sister in law was really good at explaining that some people need help and get their 'seed' from the hospital - she then asked if she could bounce on the bed! Haha 

I'm home in Wales and absolutely exhausted - hope everyone else is good xxxx


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## Herts85

Hi all, witching hour again!

It's lovely hearing the stories of what people and their significant others do, I wonder if there's a way we can incorporate that into the thread for those who want to share it.

For the record I'm a solicitor, self funded through under and post grad degrees, first in the family (wider too) to get A-Levels, never mind anything else!, on an ok wage but saddled with student debt so money poor but love rich as I say to my dp! Previously I did 5 years as a civil servant in the court service on a tiny wage but up north so lower living costs. Amongst other things I specialised in Forced Marriage and Honour Based Violence, as well as a lot of children's care work and vulnerable adult cases. I loved the work I did and really felt like it mattered!

I completely get the jr dr's v minimum wage worker debate. I think what's significant in the argument is that it is trying to stir up aminosity between two sets of workers who historically would've been on the same side. Seems to me that it is all a diversion to stop people focusing on the real issues. It reminds me of a wonderful photo I saw, I'll see if I can find it so I don't need to paraphrase...here it is http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/d1/9f/bf/d19fbf988e35586295321ec8d9532742.jpg poignant!

Right, onto the important stuff!

KDJay - yay, so happy for you and your dp! Sounds like your little one is doing great, hope you can breathe a little easier and enjoy this stage of pre-mummyhood! Your poor niece, I guess it must be confusing! The guardian had a story with a great round up of children's books explaining same sex families this week. I think I have the link somewhere if you want it. X

Sillywrong - thanks, I was hoping not too long but given the delays we've had so far I realised that if we wait til May to try then I will qualify for an additional 6 weeks half pay with work. Whilst there are loads of variables I can't help but feel like that might be a good idea plus I can really crack down on healthy eating etc. hope you're doing ok and managing to eat despite the sickness! Sounds like your wife has a demanding but rewarding job, I loved psychology at A-level! X

Divas - will keep my fingers crossed he stays put! I really feel for everyone affected by the NHS pay changes and stories like yours really humanise the issue. One of my friends told me I should change my social media display name to #SaveOurNHS as I've posted so much recently! I've actually had 5 different surgeries which have required general anaesthetics so I'm supremely grateful to everyone involved in that, especially the anaesthetists who try their best to avoid making me perform an 'exorcist vomit' routine afterwards but haven't ever managed to get enough anti sickness drugs in me yet! X

Peanut - we will egg share if we are accepted and these cycles don't work or in the future for a sibling. I feel like given I need someone else's help to do this why wouldn't I give something back. If we end up not needing to for whatever reason I'll probably do an altruistic donation. The donor we are looking at is through our clinics sperm bank but is Australian. We would have liked an outside agency just to make it easier for siblings in the future but we'll see how this goes! Hope you had a great birthday and at least got to have a big pudding since you could've eaten the main meal again! X

Sarahsuperdork - you mustn't have long left of dr? Hope it passes quickly for you. Glad you got additional information on your donor, it must be nice to have that for A for the future. X

Autumn - that's quite a mixture for your donor, he already seems interesting without knowing any other detail! Is that one week done of your 2ww? I hope your dw isn't too demotivated by what's going on. I know amongst my friends there is a feeling of shock and injustice, they are firmly supporting the NHS staff involved. X

Afm - feeling a bit sad at a week on my own but also excited to chill out and get stuff sorted in the house for when dp gets home. It's not that I'm a needy person, I actually enjoy time on my own and having a night/day to myself but dp genuinely is my best friend. When I'm not with her I go to point out things or tell her about them all the time! I really feel for anyone dealing with on call/weekend working/opposing shifts but from past experience it really does make the time together so special and protected time. Hoping to use this week to get things firmed up with the clinic, I have a plan again (I like it when there's a plan!) x


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## KDJay

Herts - I am a solicitor too!!! Haha. Such a nice suggestion, my dp is a firefighter - all the lads at the firestation are very excited about the baby as they all adore my dp and have been giving her neck massages at her desk! 

you are dealing so well with the waiting I would be pulling my hair out - we jumped straight in to egg sharing coz I hate waiting around and quickly realised the nhs referral would be too long for me and with a not fantastic amh I felt time wasn't really ony side so had to take the plunge! Yeh it might be a good thought to get my niece one of those books although I don't think any things an issue as he is very accepting as all children are of her two aunties she just seemed to want to know the 'science' behind it haha which I absolutely love! She is a mini me that one.  

Hope this week is not too hard for u! I know what u mean I love having dp around - hopefully u can kick ur clinic into action this week xxx


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## Divas212

Sarah - the contract isn't just about the unsociable hours payments, that's me looking at it from a selfish prospective as it will directly affect us financially. It's dangerous in that they are trying to spread a thin service even thinner to provide an 'elective service 24/7' plus taking away the safeguards of how many hours they can be forced to work. The fact is tired people make mistakes and the mistakes that can be made will result in deaths, the gov are playing a very good game in misleading people with the ultimate goal of privatisation. As I said my wife is on call now for 48 hours and these two days are actually classed as her days off, she's already done 47 hours this week, it's also about the work/live balance...but anyway people have differing opinions and that's fine, the ultimate goal for us is to save the NHS from further privatisation and raise awareness of what is really going on.

KD- baby shower went really well, we got some lovely gifts and was lovely to see everybody. What a lovely way for your SIL to explain it, I love how children just accept things then want to carry on with the important things of jumping on the bed....perfect 😊

Herts- I think you well and truly hit the nail on the head 😊 I love to hear what people do for a living, your time in the civil service sounds so interesting yet heart wrenching!! I left school at 14 with no qualifications and worked in retail where I met my DW, we had fun and messed around traveling, then my wife decided she wanted to be a paramedic so became a health care assistant to gain some experience to test the water so to speak, she loved it and found out about the role she does now and worked her way up gaining her professional qualifications as well as working, during that time encouraging me to gain my GCSE's, A-levels and then onto uni to gain my professional qualifications. Blood sweat, tears and lots of debt, but we did it together haha I'm with you with regards to the protected time together being so important, the work life balance, also think that's another why my DW will leave if her contract is changed, we are a family now and that's the most important thing 😊 Oh and I live my life with needing a plan and lists, without the list I'm screwed where's my wife is like chill just go with the flow ha..... Good luck with your action plan and kick some butt xx


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## peanut165

Morning,

It's nice hearing what everyone does  my partner and I own a franchise, it is pre-school football training franchise and we love it, we teach over 300 children per week between the ages of 18 months and 7 years. 

I used to be in the forces, did 8 years between the Royal Navy and Royal Fleet Auxiliary, then worked for the BBC then bought the business nearly 2 years ago. DP was a student then worked at a Gym, she's 5 years younger than me.

This is our 3rd time at egg sharing, the first time which was a bfn for us the recipient got pregnant and now has a little girl from my DP's donation, I love that thought but is quite strange for a big thinker like me! 2nd time they froze the eggs and this time the lady will be at exactly the same stage if she got her BFP. Do you know anything about your recipient KD? Will you find out? Do you know how you'll feel either way? 

What are everyone plans for the week? Sillywrong is your scan on Friday?? Omg so excited for you!! Anyone else got steps forward this week? Really hope it goes quickly for you Herts and you enjoy some you time. I love the baby shower idea Divas! Such a lovely way to bring the people close to you together ❤


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Oh I totally agree Divas, I just can't stand the comparison to retail all the time because it's essentially making people in retail feel uneducated, like their job doesn't mean anything and gives the impression you get paid well for doing it when none of those things are true. It's an unnecessary and often mean comparison, especially when the word 'just' is involved, as it has been in other places. "I could earn more just working in retail". There's no 'just' about retail, and I have worked upwards of 50 hours a week (10 hours unpaid overtime) and as a manager, I'm on call on my days off too. I'm not saying I have it harder than a junior doctor - I don't - but it's time people stopped thinking retail was an easy life for the stupid end of society. I don't mind my job, but I can't bear the way other people view it.


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## SillyWrong

Loads been going on, sorry this reply is all over the place! 

Divas, What exactly do you do with looked after children? Do you work NHS or private?  

Peanut, time hasn't been so bad this week, but it does drag sometimes.  I've been super busy at work though which has helped.  Keeps time moving! So is your scan 7+2 too then?  Yep, our scan's on Friday!  By the way, you guys had 2 embies transferred too right?  What are your thoughts?  How would you feel about twins!?  That football franchise sounds awesome, how cool that you get to do something like that together!

Re donor: ours is right here in Manchester! It's a bit weird, people might remember me saying when we were picking him, his profile was pretty extensive, we got a sense he was gay, and also talked about starting up his own company which is now successful, so I feel like I could find him with a quick google, we probably even have friends in common! We were really happy with our pick in the end though, the donor coordinator talked to us a bit about him and said he looks a bit like a young James Dean, so he's now known as Jimmy D in this house!  Better than 'sperm guy'!

Sarah - so lucky that you liked the profile after you'd used him to make your son (who by the way, I keep meaning to mention is a little beaut!) How come you used ESB if it was all sorted through the NHS?  How does that work?

Re egg sharing - yes we did on the first round, we regretted it after we didn't end up pregnant though, knowing if we'd not shared we'd have had more chances, so the second round we decided to shoulder the cost and have a round to ourselves.  So now we have two frosties for later!  Of course it's possible to get pregnant and have some left in the freezer if you share, it's all a numbers game, and we didn't want to take the risk again.

Autumn, don't worry about no symptoms, it's so common.  Try to stay positive 

Herts - great that you worked with women in that way, I'd love to do something along those lines, working in a job that matters with people who need help.  Though I'm not professionally qualified in any particular area, so I'm thinking about a career change once I've finished with mat leave and the kids are safely in school! 

I work in Student Support on the academic side, my main responsibility is with students with disabilities.  It's 95% office based - or pen pusher as my dad likes to call those of us chained to desks!  I do enjoy it though have been in the same role 10 years now and so it all feels very stale and easy - which I guess is going to be a bonus when I have littluns.

Herts love, I hope you don't feel too sad without your lady by your side!  Try and make the most of it and have some rebel days!!

KD, for some reason I am surprised you are a solicitor!  I don't know why, don't know what I thought you'd be! Eee that's not offensive is it!? I think I mean I didn't picture you at a desk.  VERY cute about all your DP's colleagues being sweet around her like that.  I guess in their jobs, a team has to be a proper team and look after one another.  It's nice.

Divas - your little story of you and your mrs working through it all together and becoming what you wanted to made me feel a little teary!  So lovely! 

And now for a little fluff - I'm really glad to have you guys, it's lovely to have these voices to get to know and talk to, kind of like on tap support.  It's just not the same with 'IRL' people!

AFM: I was up all night last night worrying.  It's so stupid, but I've been relatively confident in this pregnancy so far because my symptoms have becomes so strong, but I think possibly I've got used to the symptoms so have started to wonder if I'm actually feeling them or making them up (sleeping for England because I'm lazy!?!?) - I think this all stems from reading something yesterday about one of the signs of a potential mmc is symptoms going away (though of course almost EVERY pregnant woman experiences loss of symptoms and it means nothing!) and a friend of mine is going through the most horrendous mc at the moment, which was first identified as a mmc on the day I got my bfp, and is still going on   I guess I'm just letting my head go gaga, anxiety because my scan is getting closer (I don't want a scan, I want to stay in this bubble!!!)

Anyway, I've had a good long sofa nap this morning and am feeling much more positive, I've definitely been queasy!  Hope everyone has a lovely weekend (those not working, sorry Sarah!!!) xx


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## Herts85

KDJay - small world! Sorry, I'm pretty sure I offered lease reading advice at one point, clearly uneccesary! Neck massages sound amazing, what a great team your dp has! Being a firefighter must be interesting with pregnancy, will she be on light duties? I'm sure it was just curiosity with your niece, I love that she's interested in science! I've always been fascinated by genetics and the nature-v-nurture debate! X

Divas - 14   my goodness! Sounds like you had a lot of fun though and it's great that you and your wife studied and climbed career ladders together! I agree with you about work-life balance. A while ago I was on a soft skills course and the trainer said she hates the term work-life balance as it implies life/time is 50:50 or pre-assigned to those roles whereas the reality is you have one life and need to consciously choose whether you are allocating time to work or for you. It blagged my head a bit but I totally see what she means! You and your wife sound like you have similar couple dynamics to me and dp - I am definitely lists and plans, my dp is laid back and takes life as it comes! We balance each other out but also learn a lot from each other! X

Peanut - that sounds awesome, I have zero coordination or balance so will definitely need to outsource athletic activities! I guess there must be a lot of strategies that you learnt in the forces which can be adapted and used in your current role! That's amazing about the egg sharing, it must be bittersweet from round 1 though - good that you know the eggs can make babies but sad that it wasn't for you. It's lovely that you can find out about your recipients, I think I would really want to know that! X

Sarahsuperdork - hope your weekend at work isn't too hectic. I spent a lot of time in retail roles and remember the work being a lot more physical then people think. In my current role I have to do 2 shifts per year 'on the shop floor' which is always interesting and knackering! X


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## Herts85

Sillywrong - I started my reply before your post! Just wanted to send a big hug - remembering lots of ladies don't realise they're pregnant for weeks so the symptoms mustn't always be strong or obvious! Hopefully you will see a lovely heartbeat(s) on Friday and be able to relax and enjoy it. 

Also I know what you mean about support and IRL friends! Some of ours know we are in the process of starting IVF but not the ins and outs. It almost feels taboo to be talking about ttc as there are so many ifs, buts and maybes with it all. Plus there's the having to keep completely schtum about it at work! The only thing harder than ttc is trying to keep it a secret! X


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## Divas212

Sarah - I understand what your saying, in no way did I mean 'just' retail, as I said we've both worked in retail and know the reality of retail, however it would be an option for my wife if contract changes affect her, which is a shame as she's worked so hard to do what she does but there is a point where she thinks is it worth it. It's a different kind of responsibility.

Silly - sorry I thought I'd said I work for local government, at the moment within fostering but have previously worked in a LAC team, never really like to say my role as I get the look and have quite bad press lol so reading between the lines you can probably guess my role 😂!! It's VERY stressful and a lot of responsibility, sometimes I wonder why I ventured into this role. My wife and I have been together 16 years, grown up together so kinda natural we supported each other through our career pathways, my wife has a lot to answer for hahaha joking! I think your worries are relatively normal, it's a lot to go through and the uncertainty drove me crazy at first!!

Herts - my wife used to be a bit like me with lists and plans, however she's mellowed and is of the opinion you can't change what's going to happen with a list or a plan and not being able to meet the list or plan stresses you out, but I need targets & deadlines... We drive each other mad but it works and yeah I think we complement each other. She seems some horrific freaky situations or illness that blows any plan out the water and that's what's changed her perspective, she's all for living for now and worry about tomorrow tomorrow lol strange how you change.


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## sarahsuperdork

Divas - It would be a shame for her to quit doing something she enjoys. I can't see qualified doctors/HCPs leaving the NHS in droves to work in shops, though. It makes a good headline but the reality is, retail is part time work (could you support a family on less than 16hrs per week at minimum wage?) or a salary of around £18-21k a year at management level (if you're experienced) for high street retailers. It's certainly not the lucrative haven being touted by social media! I've managed the same store for the same company for the last five years and never had a pay rise. That's the reality of the private sector and it puts us under the breadline.

Thanks Herts, yes it is always more physical than people assume. I've done 6 miles today and that was just an average day on the shop floor. Keeps me fit though!

SillyWrong - Try not to worry, symptoms come and go at this stage and it doesn't mean anything has happened  you will see that tiny little heartbeat soon. Thank you for your lovely comment about DS, he really is wonderful (though I'm obviously biased!). When we cycled, we met with the donor coordinator who told us the clinic's bank was very limited - there was one donor servicing the entirely of the Leeds area! - so she gave us the option to choose a donor from overseas. We were given six donor options to choose from that matched our hair/eye/skin colour and were CMV- so we chose one and it was all organised for us. I didn't get to find out who our donor was on the ESB list until we needed to purchase more samples for this new cycle; in fact, we didn't even know which sperm bank our clinic used until then. It wasn't a big decision for us, though. I know some people choose their donor very carefully but we went on guy instinct with the knowledge that genetics are only a small part of the story. It didn't really matter to us who the donor was, but I didn't fancy using the same one as everyone else in our nearest city. 

Hope everyone is well this evening.


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## Divas212

Sarah - like I said it's one of the options she'll consider if and when the change of contract affects her, i'v never said its lucrative and we are well aware of the reality of high street retail after many years of experience in the sector. The NHS are loosing staff and with the added pressure of contract changes and lack of bursaries for students the staffing pressures will only get worse, at the end of the day whatever works best for my wife and our family is all that matters and she will go with her strengths and experience which previously was the retail sector. I can understand that stuff on social media has clearly got your back up, but it's a personal choice and when you factor in potential childcare costs yes it could be right for our family. As could her being a stay at home mummy, working in the private sector, changing careers or moving abroad ......she is not considering this on a whim or because a social media status says it's an easier, lucrative option! She does love her role, most of the time, but big changes such as having a baby & work/life balance make you reassess if the love of a role is enough, factor in more pressure, more unsociable hours & less pay, its a no brainer to seriously think about a change.


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## sarahsuperdork

It's great having the choice to change, options are always good; I'm the breadwinner in our house (DW is a SAHM) so I have to stick with it in order to keep a roof over our heads. I guess I just can't fathom leaving a stable job for an unstable one with less money and undeniably less status, but when you have another earner in the house it's different. If I had the option to get out of retail, especially after another typical Saturday at work today, I would - and I find it really hard to imagine why anyone would choose this as a career when they are qualified to do something (anything) else! I am so tired of being assumed to be uneducated, being talked down to and getting that sympathetic side eye when I tell people what I do for a living. Good luck to you both, whatever you decide.


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## KDJay

Silly - haha you were probably surprised due to my bad spelling and grammar on here due to always typing on the go on a old phone! Lol! I am really interested to know what u think I did? Hopefully something way more exciting  I am def a lawyer as dp always reminds me it is what I have wanted to do since I was about four and I told my dad I wanted to be a judge! Yes at dp's work they have to be a good team as they depend on each other for their lives literally. I am so excited already to take the baby to the station when it's born they have all been an amazing support - when dp had her first heavy bleed she was at work and one of the guys was so good doing her progesterone shot and taking her straight to epu and even going in to spk to the dr with her, his wife is suffering with recurrent miscarriage so his support has been amazing. 

Peanut - wow that sounds like an amazing business! So interesting and great u get to work together. My dp has always played football and one of my nieces had trials for Wales on Friday. My recipient on this cycle pulled out a couple of days before EC, it was a shock and weirdly I was really upset - it really threw me so my eggs went into the egg bank instead which in hindsight maybe was a good thing as then we won't get to each stage with someone else. I don't know when they will be used but of course can ask which I've not done at the moment. I have gone through all the different emotions with egg sharing but now in a really good place with it - for me it was important my family was on board with it as its not just my genetics it's theirs too. They were all amazing and my sister who I thought might try and deter me as she is a mother already was the most supportive and thought it was an amazing thing to do for someone else. 

Herts - yes dp is on light duties, she has been since ET due to the risks. A 1000 degrees is prob not best for an embryo lol! Although the dr at ET said there was no problem with going into fires during the 2ww! Wtf! Thanks for starting this thread it is so nice to have likeminded ppl to chat too. 

....


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## KDJay

Sarah - that's awful that u feel ppl give u a side look when u tell them what u do!!! Is that for real! I can't ever remember judging anyone when they have told me what they do at all. Trust me I used to practice mental health law and represented people who were detained in Broadmoor - ppl sure gave me their opinions then! I can't believe ppl can be so snobby to make u feel like that. Love the updates pic, he is sure a beauty! 

Divas - like silly said, reading you and your wife's story made me well up too!!! So sweet and lovely to be entering this new chapter in ur life together . Your friends and family must be sooo happy for u. Glad u enjoyed ur baby shower - I'm looking fwd to ours already haha not for the pressies just to have all the people we love around us and together. 

Autumn - hope u are doing ok ? 

Poppy - how is the adoption process going still steaming ahead of just waiting now for the next phase? 

Hope everyone else is ok xxxx


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## KDJay

Silly - I forgot to add that this stage u are at is soooo hard waiting for that first scan - my dp felt like she was imagining it all! Don't worry about feeling paranoid I have been exactly the same and dp had to pull me up on it , it's like my mind goes into overdrive! This week will be long for u waiting - but I can't wait to hear ur news and will be excited for u xxx


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## Batwood2012

Morning everyone!! 

I can't believe how fast this thread moves.... we haven't looked for a few days and now we can't keep up with it all   We've been trying to keep our minds occupied ahead of our OTD tomorrow - I really didn't think the TWW would be as bad as this. How we have not caved and done a test this weekend I will never know!!

My DW has had plenty of things that would be deemed as symptoms (super tired, mega hungry (like I seriously can't fill her lol), HUGE boobs, blue veins on boobs, twinges, overly emotional and headaches), but we are trying to not get our hopes up too much in case it isn't good news. 

I think someone else has OTD around the same time as us - was it Autumn?

Hope everyone is having a fab weekend, whatever your plans may be


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## Divas212

Sarah - I'm sorry you feel people look at you like that, sad judgemental world we live in at times!! But I understand 'the look' I don't even tell people what I do due to the look and the comments. But at the end of the day that's their problem, work is somewhat a means to keep us living the life we live but sometimes that comes with other costs that at the moment my wife is debating is it worth it and yes she has more options than I do, the uncertainty within the NHS has unnerved her and her role is not worth doing for less money. Watching a patient die, then speaking to the relatives, being the last person they speak to can and does affect your home life and she dosen't ever want that to impact on our son, not that she'd let it but still. Plus she's all for the here and now and yeah we'd survive so it might be right for us.

KD - thanks it was bloody hard work! We had our little flat and we're saving for a mortgage at the same time and we do feel like we achieved the impossible. My wife is bloody determined and kicked my **** into gear!! Yeah our family and friends are all absolutely over the moon for us and keep telling us how spoilt our little dude is going to be but we're a bit like no spoilt in the right way, he certainly won't be getting what he wants when he wants lol I also didn't think you'd be a lawyer, had you down as a copper or a teacher.....isn't is strange the assumptions you make of people from their words on a forum? Ha the baby shower we had was more about seeing everybody we love family and friends all together 😊 Was great unfortunately some couldn't make it but we'll catch up with them soon enough, my wife has saved her holidays so will be having 4weeks al and 2 weeks paternity when he comes so we'll have time for guests between naps lol


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## Divas212

Batswood- some strong symptoms there I remember it all too well over analysing everything!! Good luck for tomorrow 😊 X


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## KDJay

Bat wood - all sounds good to me!!! So exciting that otd is tomo!!! I will have my fx for u eeek! 

Divas - copper!!! Haha that made me giggle, I wonder why I don't sound like a lawyer - very funny. Wow 6 weeks together sounds incredible! You are gonna have such a lovely time xxx


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## Autumn13

Hi ladies. Sorry no personals, feeling a bit rubbish. Had a busy day yesterday for my best mates hen do and started having some bleeding which has gotten worse this morning. I'm 6dp5dt transfer today. It seems exactly like AF although it is a little early. 

Hope ur all ok xx


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## Divas212

Haha KD copper/lawyer same difference is it not? 😂😂😂 anyway i'v given our mushy story of getting together, how did everyone meet their DP? X


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## Divas212

Awww Autumn 😞 Try to just relax (easier said than done) can you go to the epu? X


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## peanut165

🙁 big hugs Autumn. You know from this board that it can certainly be a number of things that don't mean the worst. Fingers crossed for you xxx


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## dolly132

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to the boards and currently in our first 2ww. 

My dw (44) and I (27) used known donor sperm to do a home insemination last week. I am now 7dpo so just waiting to be able to do a home test next week. I was diagnosed pcos in my early 20s and had a gastric bypass 2.5 years ago to loose 10st to make me more fertile and able to have a chance of being mothers.


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## KDJay

Welcome dolly! Wow 10 stone !!! Tht is incredible , fx for u xxx


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## Divas212

Hello and welcome dolly, I second KD is saying wow 10st!!! That's some acheivement!! Good luck with your testing fingers crossed!! X


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## Elerifairy

Wow lots to catch up on! Sorry haven't posted in a while been caught up with getting through the iui process. 
Kicked off at them at the clinic as all seemed to be going the same as usual - one follicle big early and low estrogen yet they were talking about getting me to trigger. Cue mini meltdown and my lovely wife insisting they let us speak to the doctor. He agreed it was probably a cyst so upped meds and kept monitoring. Finally got a real follicle, fab lining and great estrogen level so had iui on Friday with a great sperm count too 3 weeks to go until I can test (but I clearly won't last that long!)


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## KDJay

Elerifairy well done to u putting ur foot down, it shouldn't be that stressful getting the right treatment. 3 week wait sounds long! Fx for u and ur wife Hun xxx


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## dolly132

Thank you KDJAY and Divas212! Xx


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## Divas212

So my wife got called into work, had only left an hour and I felt dizzy & faint and was all on my own, so scary I rang her but she couldn't leave work until she got emergency cover anyway all has turned out ok but was sooo scary!!


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## Autumn13

Batwood yes OTD for me is friday, seems like ages away, particularly with this bleeding.

Divas and Peanut, thanks for your kind words. Its hard to relax when DW is asking for an update every 10 minutes! Can you go to an EPU even before a +ve test? We just had a lazy day and tried not to worry, I'm still bleeding but not got any pains or anything else.

Dolly, welcome! 

Xx


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## Herts85

Divas - hugs, glad it turned out ok but it must be scary when your dw is at work and something feels wrong x

Sarahsuperdork - 6 miles is fab, I try to do a little power walk at lunch time when possible otherwise my job ends up being chained to a desk all day. I have a desk that rises up so I can work stood up which is an absolute dream after having a persistent back injury! Hope you don't have too long left before you can start stims. It's great that dw is a sahm, I would love one of us to be without doing the math I don't think we could afford it x

KDJay - totally showing my lawyerly geekiness now but I was also 4 when I told my mum I was going to be a solicitor, she had no idea where I'd heard the word! Mental health law sounds like an interesting area, harrowing too I'd have thought. How is 1000c ok for the tww!? Good to hear she is being so looked after, it's lovely that some workplaces are that supportive! You're very welcome, I'm thrilled it's so popular. I hadn't realised there were so many other people popping onto the LGBT board and hoping for someone to talk to! X

Batswood - good luck for tomorrow! They sound like good symptoms! X

Autumn - hopefully it's not af, could it be implantation? X

Hi Dolly - welcome, fingers crossed for your tww and well done on losing so much weight! X

Elerifairy - that is a mammoth tww! Is there a reason it's so long? I hope you and your dw have lots of patience! Fingers crossed this is your time x


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## Herts85

Divas - I loved yours and your dw's story. I wrote this in my previous post then realised it was a bit epic so I've put it seperately!

Dp and me met four and a half years ago. I had come out of an awful, mentally abusive relationship 5 months before we met. I had gotten myself into a really good headspace where I actually liked myself again and felt strong enough to be happy on my own. She had broken up with her wife around the same time my relationship broke down and had faced similar issues in her relationship. We got talking on gaydargirls, swapped numbers, texted for a while then met up at Starbucks. I had no expectation that anything would happen and was looking to rebuild my friend network, as was she. I actually thought fate had thrown us together so I could sort out her dissolution as I was heavily involved in divorce Work at the time! That coffee date lasted about 5 hours! Even though we tried to take things slowly our relationship naturally progressed quickly, she moved in with me and the cat a few weeks later. We got a second cat together (so stereotypical!) then just after a year together we moved 300miles so I could start a job as a trainee solicitor. I then encouraged her to move into a job with better career prospects but a £10k pay cut! In the time we've been together we've gone through the cat getting sick and needing £2k of surgery (insure your pets folks!), a psycho situation with my ex which went on for months when we first got together and needed police involvement to finish it, me training, her changing jobs twice, me learning the full extent of my fertility issues and her learning she also has issues. Now we're hoping to start a family and also to get married when the time is right. When we met I had no idea what I wanted and wasn't looking for a relationship anyway and yet she's everything I ever needed. I don't believe in the phrase 'other half' as it makes a person on their own seem incomplete but she enhances everything about my life and makes me the best version of me that I could possibly be. 
Right that's enough mush, I blame the fact she's away - day 2 of 7, poor you guys for the posts later in the week! 
Love to you all, thanks for listening,
Herts xx


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## Herts85

Autumn - it may be worth calling and explaining the situation? They may treat IVF differently. Dw probably just wants to be involved, plus she will be concerned about you but it might be worth asking her to scale back a little! Is it old blood? I've heard that's much less of a worry x


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## Divas212

Herts- I'm a firm believer in fate and things happening for a reason, I feel the same about my wife, we have brought the best out in each other....all very mushy but true!! Love the part about the stereotypical cat and yes I agree insure your pets our pup (we have had for 12 years) had cancer last year went through surgery last year was heartbreaking but he's snoring away as I type lol our baby is going to be a big change for our fur baby!!! Your story of change of careers and helping each other through is quite similar to ours 😊!! Abusive relationships must of been really tough especially rebuilding your life after it....I wish you all the luck in the new journey of your little family xx


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## Divas212

Autumn - forgive me I didn't know you'd not had OTD yet, I would contact your clinic but I think they may say wait until test date... Fx it's not af big hugs to you, the waiting and not knowing is the worst part xxx


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## SillyWrong

Morning everyone, it's been buzzing on here over the weekend hasn't it!

Divas - oh yes, you're one of THOSE are you!?  Ha ha, only kidding.  I have friends who do that too and it's so awful the flack you get for it when you are essentially doing a good job for the good of peoples welfare!  I also know about how stretched you are and how thin you're spread.  It's sad. 

KD and Herts - it's funny you both knew from early you wanted to be a lawyer, my mum is one and from an early age tried to spark and interest in me in law, but I was all "No, I want to be an actress, or a hairdresser" - she was mortified at her un-academic spawn! 

KD - the waiting hasn't been too bad for the scan, we've mostly enjoyed it, I guess as we started the countdown to the final weeks wait though that's when I got scared and started obsessing.  I can be so negative sometimes, I'm a catastrophiser, I convince myself only the worst can happen.  My emotional side and my logical side don't speak to one another!

Batwood - any news? Everything crossed it's good for you x

Autumn - oh love, I'm sorry.  I had bleeding in my second round too and it makes you miserable.  Though it wasn't a good outcome for me at the time I know it can be for some.  A friend of mine is pregnant through IVF, she bled from transfer up until about 8 weeks.  She's about 16 weeks now.  Try to take it all in your stride x

Dolly - Hi, good luck with your cycle.

Divas - what's that dizzy spell all about!?  Do you need to get your blood pressure checked?  Hope you're feeling better x

Not much news from me.  Have spent the weekend feeling rotten which I'm taking as a big thumbs up from Fig and Fob (the babies accidentally acquired these names, don't know where they came from!) but had a great nights sleep last night which has made me feel ten times better today, though still had to nibble on bread on the bus to distract from queasiness! 

Oh, how we got together?  Not interesting in the slightest.  Neither of us were looking for anything but enjoyed dating (we were both serial daters, I'm surprised we'd not met sooner!) found each other on the brilliant gaydargirls (oh I've not been on there in years now, I'm off for a look/cringe at our profiles!!) had an awesome first date and then lots of 'exclusive' dates to follow.  We were both playing it cool though, neither of us said the l word for a long time even though we were clearly in love, and we didn't move in together until about a year after we met.


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## SillyWrong

PS ... i totally just went and stalked my wife's gaydar profile again and it made me get all fluttery in my tummy.  She's so hot!


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## dolly132

I love reading getting together stories!

Dw and I met in a club but she doesn't remember me at all as she was chasing my friend. We then met again at a pub a week later as she had been invited along by my friends. I was in a long distance 4.5 year relationship but wasn't happy so when dw started flirting with me I ended my relationship in the hope we would be together. I knew dw would be the one! Dw then told me we was never going to happen but after a bit of following around and more flirting I convinced her to give us a try. 2.5 years later we got married and I moved in with her and my mil (who hated me) and we have 5 cats. We have now been married almost 4 years and together 6.5 years


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## Elerifairy

I met my wife at a party whilst I was a senior student (looking after 1St years) and she had dropped in to see a first yr she had kind of taken under her wing. She sent me a MySpace message which I didn't respond to (she was dick head by association at this point because the first yr was a dh!) I saw her about a month later at a bar and decided I would message her back the rest is history! Been together 9yrs now and married for 3 😁


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## KDJay

I love reading all these stories, bit worried about sharing mine haha!


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## SillyWrong

You have to now!!!


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## poppy05

Oh heck ive been rubbish at keeping up on here, sorry girls   
its so nice to see such an active thread on this board though, its normally so quiet in here.


Getting together stories are lovely i love reading them, mine is a bit hmmmm shall we say complicated? although i much prefer 'hollywood movie'   


I was married (husband thing) and dw was one of my bestmates friends, i'd known her years but only as an aquaintance, she then became my besties flatmate, and over the period of about 3 years then became one of my bestfriends, we used to flirt outrageously with eachother, and used to send about 100 texts a day    and go out together all the time, one night we ended up going home together    nothing more happened for almost 2 years, but i knew i was falling in love with her, and i decided to end my marriage as i was so unhappy, i spoke to dw about how i felt and she didnt believe me    apparently she had been in love with me for 5 years!!    so yes i dumped the husband, moved in with dw about 4 months later, and married her 3 years after that! we have been together 7 years, married for 4, and ive never been happier, still get butterflies when shes on her way home from work, and we are as loving and romantic now as we were in the beginning, love my life with my wifey.


Sorry for lack of personals, i must try to keep up with you all.
No news my end, its a waiting game now for us to see if we made it through to stage 2   


poppy xx


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## KDJay

My story is not too dissimilar to Poppys. I had been with my husband for about 10 years when he asked if his colleague could move in for a while as she had split up from her wife and needed somewhere to live. That colleague is my dp - she moved in and we started spending more time together and going out, drinking, partying in Soho. She eventually found a place to live and a few months later my husband and I separated. I found a new job in a new City and she said ' I will move with you' and the rest is kind of history. I had never looked twice at a girl before I met her but I felt totally head over heels with her as a person and her gender was irrelevant. Things got serious very quickly with moving in and now baby but it feels totally right and my family and friends have said they  have never seen each of us happier and more ourselves. I still text/spk to my ex every few days and he is happy for me that I am expecting a baby, he had four children from a previous relationship so he always wanted me to experience that for myself. The next thing we need to do is tell my four step children about the baby and we are going to do that together (me and my ex) as soon as we can. They are all grown up now and are amazing children so I am sure they will be fine. Both dp and I are still not divorced - when ppl ask us ' are you married?' we say 'yes-just not to each other!' So Herts I am sure you will regret telling me about your divorce work experience!!! Dp is starting the boll rolling with hers soon. xxx


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## SillyWrong

Well I never!  The DRAMA! 

Also though, really lovely that you can be friends with the ex in that way, he sounds like a decent sort! 

Poppy, that's a lovely story too - I love all of this "I've been in love with you for five years" ... *sigh*


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## KDJay

Haha I know! All our friends and family have been amazing - my friends were far more concerned when I announced I wanted to cut off my very long hair to very short! 'Just because you didn't shock us with your announcement you are with a girl doesn't mean you have to try and shock us by cutting your hair off!' haha  - yeh he is a lovely guy and has been amazing.


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## peanut165

Awww I love all these stories. It's so nice when people get their happily ever after.

My wonderful wife is my happily ever after  but it took a lot to get here and the consequences of my decisions impacts us quite a lot still.

I was in a bad relationship with someone who I'd been in the navy with, I never really wanted her but she wouldn't leave me alone until I gave in! Lots of emotional blackmail, she is still in navy, we had our cp and had my daughter but not beforehand so we had to go through adoption - long story! I found out half way through adoption process that whilst I'd been pregnant she'd been messing around with someone on her ship. So I was married to someone I didn't know or trust anymore had a baby and had our sperm donor hounding us for his 'rights' I basically had to choose him or her to be my daughters legal parent and just couldn't see a way out. 

Anyway long story short 6 months after adoption process had finished we were struggling, she'd spend weeks away with the navy even when she could come home, I was working full time to pay off legal fees (love solicitors  ) and I'd re-joined my local football team.
That's where I met my dw, she was 21 and I was 26, we had nothing in common and she'd never even held a baby before. We became friends and fell in love ridiculously quickly but she really was the girl of my dreams. 

In the end I sold 2 houses, a car, got divorced and had to move me and dd back in with my parents to be with her. That was 4 years ago now and I have never regretted it. My dd gets to see happiness, love and respect everyday in our relationship. My heart is full and I could cry with how much I adore my girls. 

My ex is bitter and twisted, she has had relationships but also went through a breakdown and was hospitalised for 8 months. She loves dd but doesn't understand or listen to her because of her hatred for me and dw. It's hard sometimes but we love each other and we will overcome anything.

I've never written this down before, feeling emotional.

Thanks for reading xx


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## KDJay

Oh wow Peanut, you have been through so so much but I can see that what you have now is what is right for you - thank you for sharing something so personal xxx


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## peanut165

Thanks KD


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## Elerifairy

Sounds like you have a wonderful strong relationship now to deal with all that x


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## SillyWrong

Peanut - that's quite some story!  So glad you and your DD got your happily ever after!! I never realised before you had a child already, not sure if I didn't read your signature properly.  Just out of interest, what happened with the donor in the end!?


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## peanut165

Well the donor was a known donor who I knew from work, he lived the other end of the country, is 20 years older than me, never married or had kids and seemed like such a genuine guy. Offered to be an available donor for future contact if dd wanted to know him. When dd was born he changed his mind and took us to court for pr and regular contact. 
We fought him on the basis of that not being our agreement and eventually agreed that he would travel up here for one hour per year and see dd, I also send him a picture and educational update once a year. 

My parents deal with the contact as although I have dealt with it now and am more understanding of his feelings, a lot came out during the court case that really shocked me about him. I was naive and would advise proper legal advice and security surrounding known donors always! No matter how well you think you know someone, babies change people in so many ways.

DD doesn't know who he is yet and she is the image of me so I don't see him in her luckily for me I think. 

It is very complicated and like I said, these are the decisions that I have made for better or worse but I do my best to put them right and will do the best I can in future to make better ones!!

You live and learn. I also pretty much know the family court system from high court down inside out from a lay perspective so am here if anyone ever needs any advice! Fingers crossed no one ever does!


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## KDJay

Oh my goodness Peanut I cannot believe you had to go through all that! That sounds like such a harrowing time for you, it must have been awful. I am glad you are on the otherside of it now


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## Divas212

Wow we could write a book with these stories I'm glad I asked now.... I'm nosey and like to know people's stories 😊


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## peanut165

We should write a book! We'd make a fortune


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## Divas212

We should peanut it'd be ace x


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## peanut165

I used to have a book of short stories about lesbians.....wasn't exactly love stories *ahem* but could be in that format


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## peanut165

KDJay - quick question and tell me to mind my own, but where does your marriage situations leave you legally with the baby? 

We've got a coach working for us at the moment who went out to America after she finished uni to teach in sports cameos out there, she moved in with a family who had kids similar to her age and she ended up having an affair with the mother and the mother left the hubby etc, now every holiday she gets she goes over there to be with this woman!
Just thought I'd share another story we could add to our book


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## KDJay

Oh my goodness Peanut I cant believe that story about the football coach! I don't feel as scandalous about my story now, I feel quite boring in comparison haha! also - my niece got in the welsh football squad today, they called and told my sister to take her out of school to go to Cardiff to stay in a hotel for training and a game tomo!!! 

Peanut - we are hoping we are ok on the legals - you might be able to tell me otherwise with all your experience! we obvs went through a clinic so we each signed the forms that consent to me being the 'legal parent' and dp being the birth mother (the same ones as you and dp I guess)  We also completed a form which sets out that DP's wife does not consent to the treatment but only we completed that we didn't get her to fill out anything as we didn't want her to know anything about it. We are hoping we will be ok, we will register the baby using the forms from the clinic so we can both be the parents. I don't think my ex would have any rights but with DP's ex it is a bit more dodgy as DP is the birth mother so we are hoping we have enough evidence to show that her ex 'does not consent' - we are also hoping that we can sort her divorce out before the baby comes! Any thoughts/ideas how this sounds


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## SillyWrong

Oh gosh, I have a seedy story!  When i was 18 i was engaged to a mean horrible fella.  He created an online persona pretending to me and went in to 'bi curious' chat rooms (this is back in the 90's when you didn't have a photo online unless you had a scanner - no digital pics!) he did this because he was twisted and wanted to set up some kind of encounter/threesome.  He got chatting to someone and started trying to set stuff up, as soon as I found out I messaged her to tell her, ended up becoming 'friends' with her - she and I used to talk every day on the phone behind his back, carried this on for about 18 months until I managed to break properly from him (he was CRAZY!) then we met (having never even seen a photo of each other!) and she became my first girlfriend, even though i still tried to maintain that I was straight!!  We lasted 2 years and then were bezzies right up until my wedding in 2014 when she went all weird, but that's a whole other story.

KD - re the legals thing, I think it's based on the time of conception rather than the time of birth - our clinic went through so many legal forms of those types with us though, I'm sure your clinic should have it all covered?


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## KDJay

Sillywrong that is a great story!!! Shame she went all weird - you will have to tell us that bit too!!! 

Yeh we completed all the forms at the clinic that you all do so I think that should be ok to have us both as the parents. I think the problem would be more if we didn't use a clinic and used a known donor.


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## peanut165

That's great about your Neice KD, we'll be in Cardiff next Monday for our scan lol. Really like it there.

Did you tell your clinic about your dp's marriage? Your ex certainly wouldn't come into the equation, I just wonder about your dp's, I will do some research and get back to you xx don't worry though, it wouldl only be a form filling exercise at most imho but also might be nothing at all needing doing xx

Sillywrong that's a great story!! So glad you got your own back on the creep!


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## KDJay

Penut - yeh I agree my ex wont come into it, only dp's we are wondering about. We told the clinic , we were each talking to a nurse separately! and I told my nurse and she just didn't get it - she said 'are all three of you together' 'why would she be involved?' she just didn't grasp it. The nurse that dp was with gave us this form (that I had already researched before and realised we would need) and it is a form that people use when they split from someone and don't want that person to be the legal parent. It is just saying that they do not consent and that we cannot ask her to confirm this as we don't have contact x


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## KDJay

I am a bit worried though as I think they should have her confirmation that she does not consent in order for them to have my consent


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## KDJay

What if a married woman (or a woman in a civil partnership) seeks treatment using donor sperm, with someone who is not her partner or husband?

The husband or partner will automatically be the legal parent/father of any child born as a result of this treatment, unless he/she explicitly states that he/she does not consent to the wife/partner's treatment. There is a section on the consent forms that asks husbands/partners this question.

In all cases when a married woman or a woman in a civil partnership receives treatment with donor sperm (or embryos created with donor sperm) it is good practice for clinics to seek the husband or partner's consent to this.
If the husband or partner states his/her lack of consent to the treatment then another person (eg, a new partner of the woman being treated) can be the parent/father of any child born as a result of this treatment, if the right consents are in place.

It is not possible for the new partner to also be the sperm donor e.g. the commissioning man in a surrogacy arrangement.


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## KDJay

I just got this off the HFEA


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## peanut165

I'm not sure how up to date clinics are with civil partnerships/ same sex marriages. Iv just been on Natalie Gambles website and it says.....

Married couples and civil partners
A non-birth mother who is married to or in a civil partnership with the birth mother at the time of conception is automatically her child's other legal parent. The rules apply to conceptions after 6 April 2009 which take place through IVF or artificial insemination, whether at home or at a clinic in the UK or overseas. Like a married father, the non-birth mother is named on the child's UK birth certificate and automatically has parental responsibility, giving her the authority to make decisions about her child's care.

The law applies unless it can be 'shown' that the non-birth mother did not consent to the conception, something which must be proved as a matter of fact. If the couple are separated and/or the birth mother is conceiving as a solo mother or with a new partner, it may be necessary to collect evidence to 'show' that her wife/civil partner does not consent.

Lesbian couples who are not married or in a civil partnership
A non-birth mother can also be treated as the other legal parent if she and her partner conceive at a licensed clinic in the UK after 6 April 2009. Both parents must complete and sign HFEA Forms WP and PP to nominate the non-birth mother as the other parent, before conception and after receiving counselling and proper information about the forms. It is important to follow the procedure carefully. In Re E and F (2013), the High Court ruled that a lesbian non-birth mother was not a legal parent because the wrong consent forms were signed. In a case known as the 'Alphabet case' (2015), the High Court heard a number of applications for parentage together following an audit which discovered that many patients had not completed the forms or not done so correctly. Fortunately, on the facts of nearly all the cases the President of the Family Division was able to find a way of 'correcting' the mistakes. However, the case highlighted the importance of following the procedure carefully.

I don't know, what would happen at the birth registration when going through the clinic tbh, they might just look at the forms and sign you off, but they also might ask if either of you are married. Then I don't know what would happen.

Also, if dp's ex heard about the baby, she could cause trouble if she were that way inclined. Possibly get some legal advice, www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk is a great place to start xx

/links


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## Batwood2012

Wow - these 'getting together' stories have kept us entertained. Our story seems boring in comparison to some.... but here goes anyway, get it added in the book! lol

Our story begins with me dressed up as Rudolph the Reindeer on a works Xmas party... I spotted my gorgeous DW across the club and just couldn't help but make a move on her that night. We had worked together for 9 years, she was straight, and I was in a (unhappy) relationship with my GF at the time, but hey, this is Christmas!!   Fast forward 12 months and the same thing happened at that Xmas Do, although I was dressed in a ball gown that year! We quickly realised this was more than a Christmas Kiss, and there was a genuine attraction there... Three years later and we are now married (Aug 15) and are super happy to announce......

Today we got our BFP!!!!!!!


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## peanut165

Batwood that's fantastic news!! Congratulations 😀 So pleased for you and it's a lovely getting together story  as all love stories are ❤❤


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## peanut165

KDJay, also wanted to say that it would be pretty difficult for your dp's ex to say she consented to your DP giving birth to your biological baby.....so that's out of the picture I guess. Would just be about registration?


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## SillyWrong

Aw Batwood, brilliant news, congratulations to you both!!


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## KDJay

Batwood amazing story and amazing news!!!


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## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations Batwood  lovely news!

Our getting together story is nowhere near as exciting as some of yours. We met on OKCupid 6 years ago; my now DW sent me a message because she liked my t-shirt and wanted to know if Alf Stewart was still in Home & Away.  We exchanged messages for a couple of weeks, then met halfway for our first date in Manchester - she came from Yorkshire and me from the Midlands. I ended up moving to Yorkshire and the rest is history.


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## poppy05

Huge congrats batwood so happy for you both


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## Batwood2012

Thanks everybody, it's still not quite sunk in!!  

Superdork, I love that story. Your DW was super smooth with that chat up line: "Is Alf Stewart still in Home & Away?"   Love it!!


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## Herts85

Oh my goodness, you guys - I could cry with happiness at all the love in this thread!  I've been loving reading all your stories and I'm definitely up for writing a book of lurve 

I don't think I've ever had to respond after so many people have so apologies if I miss you! I'll try to review and add/amend afterwards but don't take it personally - I love you all but my heart is bigger than my memory!

Firstly Batswood - huge congratulations !    My dp would love that you first met your wife dressed as Rudolph! (She does costume character work in her spare time) x

Sarahsuperdork - that has to be a contender for char up line of the year!  x

Poppy - lovely story, 100 msg's a day is impressive! I miss text messaging - ******** and ** messenger just aren't the same! I really hope you get through to stage 2 soon. Has this board always been fairly quiet then? Must've been lucky that we were all itching to chat! X

KDJay - I am here for divorce/dissolution help anytime you want it. [That goes for anyone else too, seriously do not pay for a solicitor (unless complicated - money, property or children involved) and please never ever do the quickie divorce sites online. They are a complete rip off!] I thought 'uh-oh' when you explained yours and dp's situations re: marriage but I think peanut has hit the nail on the head - why on earth would dp's ex consent to her using your eggs? I think you're pretty safe anyway, my friends registered their first daughters birth 5 years ago and basically told the registrar what to do and write as they had no idea! Hope it all goes ok with your stepchildren - you seem wayyyyy too young to have four grown up stepchildren! X

Divas - I like to believe in fate too, just a big romantic at heart! Glad your fur baby is ok. I'd be lost without mine although I do occasionally look at the ginge and tell him I could've had a designer handbag! He knows I don't mean it! Thank you for your wishes, we're good and for the most part you do just put it behind you and move on. The future is bright and hopefully baby shaped! X

Sillywrong - although it sounds wrong to say it - I'm glad you're still feeling sick, does that make sense!? Obviously I don't wish you to be ill but I'm glad you still have your symptoms! So did you become an actress or a hairdresser? I'm sure your mum wasn't that heartbroken, it's a very different profession now to what it was even 10 years ago. Is your scan this week? Oh and good old gaydargirls eh, I wouldn't even know my username and password anymore! Actually I've just remembered the username! Dp's profile always made me smile, her photos were random and fun just like her! Glad your wife's profile still gives you tummy flutters. Your seedy story made me laugh particularly the scanner/digital photo part! Gotta love the 90's! x

Dolly - 5 cats is impressive! We're sticking at 2 so they have a lap each! Sounds like persistence paid off for you and your dw! X

Elerifairy - I love your name btw, maybe the next 'thing' could be explaining our names! I actually completely bypassed MySpace but I know a few couples who got together through it. I love that you thought your dw was a dickhead by association initially! X

Peanut - I'm so sorry you felt emotional but I hope it was cathartic to get it all out. I must admit mine dredged up some things I hadn't thought about in a long time but I felt strong enough to ponder the memories for a while, acknowledge how much I've grown then put them back in the box (quickly and with an extra shove to make sure the lid was closed!) I'm also sorry the lawyers cost a fortune. Some of us are definitely in the profession for love not money! I'm so glad you and your wife found each other and that your little girl is growing up surrounded by love. I hope your ex eventually finds her own happiness and puts your daughter first before her own emotions. X ps. I love the scandalous story about the coach in America, very mills and boons! (Probably titled 'Her American Affair!'  ) X

Right I think/hope that's everyone of you lovely lot! Night night xx


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## Divas212

Many congrats batswood 😊 Xx


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## Divas212

Silly- yup one of those for my sins ha I just want the best possible chance for kids and do my best to achieve it.

So I shared how we helped each other through but feel I must add our 'get together story' ha more mush, I blame the hormones and it's our 16 year get together anniversary this week!! 

So I was 19 working in a shop and my wife was 16 working in a dif shop owned by the same people! My wife was interested in a college course I was thinking of joining and decided to switch courses. So we became friends, best friends, did everything together then some of our colleagues started a roumor that we were together, which we really wasn't. We were saving to go travelling together to Australia  after finishing the course, after a particularly bad night at work being bullied we went back to my house and I was in a foul mood not talking much because I was building up the cure age to come out for the first time to my best mate, so I texted her in the same room saying ' the reason I'm being funny with you about Australia discussions is because it's true and I don't think you'll want to go with me' hahaha. My wife was shocked was all supportive and stayed over as useual, nothing happened but in her mind she was thinking omg. She had previously come out to someone ,which ended a friendship but nobody knew other than this one person she didn't see anymore and vowed to never tell a soul again. So as I was asleep she text me to say well so am I and I Really still want to go to Oz with you!! We went out that day had a few drinks and the rest is history. All our colleagues, friends and some family had questioned our friendship when we were just friends, looking back it is no surprise, we were outrageously constantly flirting, getting those quick glances in to the point we were once play fighting, footsie in her brothers living room In front of her brother..... It was so obvious to everyone other than us!!! I'm so glad my bro and his wife forced me to tell her otherwise we'd still be the flirtiest best mates you'd ever meet!! We had already fallen head over heals before we knew it.... Awwww it takes me back kids being so in love, growing together and now growing into a family 😊 Ok now I feel a bit sick.... I don't do mush so it must be the hormones!!! Seriously though we adore each other, through thick and thin, yup still get those butterflies and we still behave like kids in love, bickering too!! It's strange it really is like we complete each other, feel lucky that I met my soulmate so young haha I'm glad she isn't on here coz she would seriously rip the p outta me for this hahaha


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## dolly132

Batswood - congratulations on your   

Herts85 - we didn't choose 5 cats (we had 6 up until last year) they all moved in off the streets. They are hard work but wouldn't change that.
We have come through a lot to get to this point and have delayed starting our family for years but we are finally there in our lives.

Divas212 - awww that's so lovely....I'd blame the hormones too!


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## peanut165

Morning 😊 How are you all today?

Herts, thank you for your kind words. Iv always thought I might need some sort of therapy but never done it, perhaps you lot are my therapists 😂 Have you heard anymore from your clinic?

Divas that is a lovely story, so cute and wonderful you've literally grown up together.

How are you today KDJay?

Batswood, has your BFP sunk in yet? So pleased for you.

Autumn, how are you? Are you going to epu? Anymore bleeding? Everything crossed for you xx

Sillywrong how are your symptoms? 4 days to go!!!! 😁😁

Sarahsuperdork when do you start the next stage?

Everyone else I hope you're all ok.

Afm, Iv been having increasing bouts of nausea for a few days throughout the day until yesterday and today actually being physically sick. My lovely wife is amazing, went and got crackers and things for me to nibble on and has done the school runs and extra curricular activities with DD as well as going to work and running classes for our business, told her she's my hero this morning before she left and she blushed like mad 😍😍😍 oh god I think these hormones are getting to me too!!


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## SillyWrong

Morning everyone! just a quickie from me so I don't end up going silent again as I have a mountain of work that needed doing yesterday and not enough time to do it in.

I'm feeling sick as a dog today, really really hoping it doesn't turn in to vom like you peanut, oh I'm so not good at being sick, although sometimes I feel like going and sticking my fingers down my throat to make this feeling go away   ... I'm not complaining (much!) and Herts you're absolutely right, it is good that I'm feeling sick, it's a comfort.  Doesn't make it nice though!  My wife is also being amazing, she won't let me lift a finger and has also been driving me in to work and back when her own work allows - she said last night "I want to be your hero" *melt* so it's funny you mentioned your wife being a hero peanut! 

Hope everyone is good and has lovely days xx


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## Little_Pea

Batswood - congratulations...

Wooh

I am currently PUPO with two little ducklings. Had FET yesterday....

Our getting together story.

We I was about 9months out of a very emotionally abusive relationship with a sociopath. I had during this breakup been on POF but had closed it whilst being friends with benefits with a girl from work.

Was having a glass of wine at home one night when I had an email from POF saying i had a message in my inbox. I thought thi was weird as my account was deactivated still, so I logged on. Turned out the account still accepted replies from messages sent even if deactivated

Anyway the glass of wine turned into a bottle and as I was bored I decided to look at every single person online ha ha....

Mean while my DP had been about 18 months out of a straight relationship but had plenty of relationships with women, she lost her mum and this kind of spurred her on to sort her life out, her work colleagues thought she was straight and made her a straight Welsh account on Wales. This same night she was also bored and decided to change the account to gay and have a nosey at women in london (she travelled from Wales to london at lot)
And she spotted my account and sent a message 

I sent one back and we had a bit of banter she had no profile pics due to the secrecy thing.... Anyway, I was going to bed and told her I was closing the act back down and she asked for my email to send me a pic, I did so and went off line and went to bed thinking nothing more of it.

I woke up the next day to an email with some
Photos and was blown away.... The universe had been listening and she was so my type, emails turned to texts, turned to photos and then we met up in london (I didn't know She was from Wales at this point) and within hours I knew she was the one. We had a long distance relationship for 18 months then she moved to london and we set up home together. 9 months later we conceived our son using her bun my oven and he was born in 2015...

Xxxx


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## dolly132

Awww that's lovely little_pea, sounds like something was bringing you together! Your little ones a cutie!


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## Autumn13

Seems I've missed quite a bit! 

Batwood - congrats on your BFP!! 

Littlepea - congrats on being PUPO, sending you some sticky love!

Thanks for asking about me peanut. I'm still bleeding a little but it did get a little lighter yesterday evening and today. My clinic gave me a courtesy call this afternoon just to ask how I was after ET so I mentioned the bleeding. She sounded really surprised that I hadn't called them, but after having been told after ET it was perfectly normal to get some spotting I didn't think they would do anything. Anyway, I'm now on 3 lots of cyclogest a day in the hope that it is due to low progesterone rather than impending AF. Now I feel awful that I should have spoken to them sooner, I'll be gutted if I see a BFN on friday 

On a happier note - my getting together story doesn't make for very thrilling reading but I'll share it all the same. 
DW and I met at university. We knew each other vaguely through mutual friends but didn't really cross paths much. One night we were both in the union (those were the days!) and had both been left minding drinks whilst our respective friends popped to the loo. We started chatting and didn't stop! We didn't swap numbers or anything, so left it to chance to meet again a week later (same time same place sort of thing) and again, spent the evening chatting and dancing. DW got my number from her mate the next day and we went on date number one the following day. I finished my course a couple of months later so we went from spending loads of time with each other to only seeing each other at the weekends but stuck it out! Nearly 6 years down the line we have been married for a little over a year  She never ceases to make me feel special and loved, I'm very lucky! 

Hope you ladies are all well xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Hope it all goes ok for you Autumn, it's good that your clinic are helping. When I started to bleed on my FET, I called them straight away and they told me it was 'normal' and that there was nothing I could do. In hindsight, I should probably have had more progesterone on the off chance it might have helped.

Downreg scan for me tomorrow, hoping everything is ok and I'll be stimming by Thu/Fri.


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## Autumn13

If we could all live our lives with the help of hindsight we'd be a lot better off!!


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## Herts85

Awww Divas you big romantic! Don't worry, your secret is safe with us! Your getting together story is very cute, I remember being that age and in love with my best friend, later turned out she'd felt the same way but neither of us wanted to rock the boat and as a result missed it completely! We're still really good friends though. 16 years is amazing, congratulations. Won't be long til little man is here too, so much excitement coming up for you! We must resurrect the "guess the date of birth and weight of divas' baby" game! X

Dolly - sorry to hear you lost a fur baby, that's amazing that you adopted them/they adopted you from being strays. Our second cat is a rescue cat from the blue cross with a really sad back story, she's actually the sweetest and most loving animal I've ever met despite the rough start. We got landed with a 3-4 week old kitten a couple of years ago and I'd have loved to have kept her but at the time we were living I n a tiny flat. We rehomed her with some good friends. Glad you are at the right point in your life for babies, it's always nice when you can look back at the progress you've made and say 'now is the time'. Personally I swing from that thought to sheer terror but I'm a classic worrier! X

Peanut -   anytime lovely! Therapists, talking, writing or just dealing with "stuff" is all good. I've had help myself in the past and can thoroughly recommend it. Feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk about "stuff" or find out more about what worked for me. Glad you have your reassurance symptoms and that your dw is looking after you. I haven't heard anything further from the clinic mostly cause I haven't chased them yet but I will be doing it once dp is back and we chat through things. My inclination is to stay with the clinic but set out our expectations very clearly. I also think we're better off waiting until May/June to cycle (even though it feels like agessss away) as I'll hit full entitlement to my company's maternity pay in November so need that to be 15 weeks or more before ewc. If it wasn't such a poor maternity policy to begin with I probably wouldn't care but it seems silly now not to wait even though first time success seems unlikely! X

Sillywrong - hope you're not suffering too much. I hate being sick too, it generally makes me cry and feel about 5! X

Little_pea - congrats on being PUPO, fingers crossed you get a bfp on your test date! I completely sympathesise about your ex situation, I believe my ex fits all the indicators and criteria for being a sociopath - not nice relationships to be in but very difficult to successfully get out of. Sounds like you and your dp were destined to meet! Glad you got your happily ever after x

Autumn - fingers crossed the extra progesterone stops the bleeding and you get a good strong bfp on Friday! Your getting together story is lovely, it's always interesting to see how relationships fare through long distance. A friend of mine did almost 2 years long distance, as soon as her and her boyfriend lived together in the same town they realised that the distance had been keeping them together and that actually they didn't have much interest in a full time relationship! X

Sarahsuperdork - I hope you get good news at your scan tomorrow! X


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## dolly132

Herts85 - my dw is the same she goes from we are ready to sheer terror very quickly but I've been a nanny for 9 years and having my own has been a major thing for me for a very long time so I don't do the worried thing much.


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## Kirstie713

Hi ladies sorry I haven't posted much on here but I have read and been nosey at all your posts lol. 

We had our 12 week scan yesterday and thankfully all is well   so can relax a bit now. 

Our get together story.. 
I moved up north from the Midlands to stay with my sister who's hubby is in the army, changed my location on POF then up pops my Dp picture I instantly think she's hot   so a few inboxes got sent then, said to add me on ** so I could see if she a real person not some crazy lol   then met up a few days later for drinks at her friends house, we got so ****** we went out clubbing lol both went home alone that night. I went to hers the next and been together ever since. She was in the army and choose to leave due to injuries, so took redundancy pay and we moved to her hometown after being together only 6 months lol we have been here nearly 4 and years and love it  she is my everything ❤


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## peanut165

Thank you Herts. That sounds like you've got a good plan re waiting for full mat pay! Every little will help. When is your DP back? Can't be long now?

Hi Kirstie, really pleased to hear all was good with your scan.

Good luck with your scan today sarahsuperdork!

Xxx


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## heatherfay89

Hi all, hope its OK to introduce myself!

Been having a quick nose through the pages. So nice to see some activity on the LGBT forums.
Myself and my DW have been on our fertility journey since our referral was sent in Oct 14. Got our first appointment January 15 and appointments every 3 months followed this with different tests and info at each appointment.

Dec 15 – we were told that DW would have to have another Laparoscopy in Jan with her definitely needing IVF due to Endo in her tubes. We then received the appointment for late Feb but managed to get a cancellation in Jan. DW was then put on prostap for 3 months. Also in this appointment were told we would receive a letter regarding funding early January.

Thinking things would take their time we booked a holiday for May with my parents. Two weeks of fun and sun in Florida to get us relaxed ready for the rest of the year and IVF.

Two days after booking the holiday we receive a call asking for us to attend the group meeting 4 days after and to arrange our appointment with the nurse for the week following that as they wish to speed up the process.

So we had our group meeting on Monday and arrived home to a letter saying we are funded for 2 cycles. We also have our meeting with the nurse a week today.  

We plan on DW trying for our first child and I will hopefully conceive the second.


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## Divas212

Haha thanks Herts!!
Heather welcome things sound like they are moving fast for you now X

Afm- we have had a bit of a date day today, had my hair done bit of pampering, my wife took me out for an early dinner to a place we love but as it's quite far we don't go often enough, special occasion kinda place. We went for a couple of drinks (pop for us both as she was driving coz I'm huge), just happened to be in pubs we went in when we were kids and spent the time reminiscing haha was so lovely! Snuggled up watching a film now but just thought I'd share lol


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## sarahsuperdork

Welcome heather, good luck!


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## Herts85

Dolly - that sounds like a great career - you get to practise all your parenting ideas before needing them for your own babies!   x

Hi Kirstie - that's fab news about your scan! Lovely getting together story too x

Peanut - she lands in gatwick at 7:30am on Friday! I'm so excited but have been very restrained and not booked the day off work so she can sleep! She's been in the Middle East so the time difference has really messed up her sleep! X

Hi HeatherFay - sounds like you guys have had a pretty thorough set of tests! Good to hear you got your funding sorted. Fingers crossed it continues at a good pace for you! X

Divas - date night, pampering and a snuggled up film sounds perfect! X

Sarahsuperdork - hope your scan went ok? X

Afm - excitedly counting down the time til dp gets home and frantically organising last minute bits for my mums 50th birthday at the weekend! Berating the siblings for leaving it to me to organise when they're in the same city and I'm 200 (ish) miles away! X


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## Autumn13

Hello all 

Welcome to both of the new ladies, wishing you both well on your journeys.

Sarahsuperdork, how did things go for your scan?

The bleeding seems to have stopped! Which I am mostly pleased about because I'm assuming that it was low progesterone causing it, but a little bit of me is just wondering if we caught it too late. Anyone got any experience with how long an embryo can hang in there with low progesterone levels? Or what about if it never implanted, would I still get exactly the same bleeding until I increased the cyclogest? And when do people tend to get their AF on failed cycles - I have heard 14 days post EC which is today, but in terms of calendar dates from last AF (ignoring IVF) it shouldn't be until Saturday? Questions questions questions!!

Hope everyone is well xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Autumn I have everything crossed for you  I got AF at 6dp5dt (after spotting from 5dpt) but I was told that's really early so I don't know what happened. It can be different for everyone, many ladies don't get AF until they stop all progesterone support. 

Good luck with the party planning Herts!

Hope everyone else is well. My scan went well, thanks for asking, I start stimms on Saturday. Another couple of menopausal days to go but the end is in sight.


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## Divas212

Autumn - there is no definitive answers to your questions, progestrone can delay the af bleeding but when my iui cycles failed af arrived on time despite the progestrone. IVF is different though in that the timing is perfect unlike iui. All I can say is try not to wind yourself up with questions and second guessing!!! IVF and drugs can delay arrival of af for failed cycles, you can get bleeding with implantation, some people can bleed every month throughout pregnancy and everything be ok. I know this probably isn't helping very much but all you can do is wait it out.... I'll have everything crossed for you, is otd Friday? X


----------



## Divas212

I'm not sure what's going on with me at the min, i'v got a strange pain going from the top of my bump to the bottom of my bump, not sure if it's wind as i'v just enjoyed a lot of biscuits, bh or first stages of labour!! My wife has said can we get some sleep before the big even haha charming... All this not knowing what to expect because everyone is different does my head in...would be so much easier if everything was the same for everyone then you'd know...maybe that's my need for a list/plan side of me talking haha it's quite irregular and happened at the same time last night so I'm assuming it's bh!!


----------



## Autumn13

Divas - I am excited for you, BH is surely a sign that we are geting close?! How are you today? I love your wife's approach of getting sleep while she can!
Thank you for your reply (and sarahsuperdork). I am not good at not knowing what is going on! Otd is tomorrow- can't come soon enough!! Xx


----------



## Divas212

Autumn- I'm ok today aside from the carpel tunnel in my hands, no more tightening pains, we've been awfully lazy today only just had a big breakfast haha we are taking full advantage of trying to relax altho everything is annoying me so I'm definitely nesting, my wife has a long to do list, but as its our anniversary today all she has to do is get all the baby things from my mother in laws x


----------



## Autumn13

It's quiet on here today!! Where is everyone, hope all is well?!

I spoke to soon about my bleeding having stopped, it paused briefly but has continued  It is very much brown 'spotting' now rather than the heavier dark red bleeding I did have. However, it was a BFP for us this morning   Being tentatively excited, as our Dr is concerned about the bleeding so wants to do bloods on Monday and Wednesday so we can confirm 'an ongoing pregnancy', which sounds very negative and concerning if you ask me! 

Sillywrong how was your scan? Hope the nausea has settled a little? 

Love and luck to everyone else, wherever you all are on your journeys

xx


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations Autumn, hope it all goes well for you!


----------



## Divas212

Congratulations Autumn, they will prob check your beta levels regularly, remember brown blood is old blood so maybe from when u initially bled, fingers crossed!! X


----------



## peanut165

Morning,

Hope everyone is ok. 

Congratulations Autumn!! Fingers crossed for you xx

Hope your scan went well Sillywrong? Good luck for starting meds today sarahsuperdork.

Just wanted to let you know that over Wednesday/Thursday I had another bleed so I asked our clinic if they would bring the scan forward as I was so sad and anxious. They did and we went yesterday for a scan and saw 2 wonderful babies with 2 wonderful heartbeats!! Can't quite believe it! 

Thank you for all of your support.


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Wow peanut congratulations, amazing!


----------



## Elerifairy

Peanut that's fab! Congratulations xx


----------



## dolly132

congratulations Autumn13, I hope everything goes well for you!  

Congratulations peanut165 that's fantastic news!  

Afm I tested 2 days early with a clearblue digital test on Friday at 2am as I woke to go to the toilet but it was a bfn. But I had only been asleep 4 hours so wondered if that wasn't enough time asleep to test early? (I'm doing home insemination atm) af is due tomorrow and I haven't had any of my usual af symptoms yet which is giving me hope that there is still a chance of a bfp this month.


----------



## Little_Pea

Hey all just popping by quickly before work

Hope everyone is doing ok. I am now 5dp5dFET... Been so busy this time round with LO and work so not as much time to symptom watch but it's deffo not the same as last time when I got my BFP, last time on day 3 and 4 I had cramping and day 5 I started spotting for 3 days and got insane migraines

That being said - trying to stay positive.... Had a slight headache in the night last night and my boobs hurt this morning when I lay on my front in bed so who knows

Xxxx


----------



## SillyWrong

I wrote a long post full of personals on here yesterday but then my phone did something when I tried to post and all was lost and I didn't have the energy to try again!

Autumn I'm so pleased for you!

Divas any news? Did those pains turn in to anything!?

Peanut .. what can I say!? I believe I'm a day ahead of you aren't i? You and I have pretty much mirrored cycles ... AND NOW WE'RE BOTH HAVING TWINS! 

I am absolutely bowled over.  Feet haven't really touched the ground since I got the news, swinging from elated to terrified! Looking forward to calming down a bit!


----------



## KDJay

Wow silly - didn't know you were having twins!!!! Congrats, u will be fab xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

Thanks  here's a little sneaky peek at the twins if anyone wants to have a nose! 





(my posts are getting messed up today, I don't know what's going on!)

/links


----------



## Divas212

Wow silly and peanut congratulations 😊 Fantastic news!! Pains amounted to nothing, we are so ready to meet this little fella now haha just checked over Hospiral bags and all in order so just waiting now ...


----------



## KDJay

Silly! That vid is amazing!!! Two little cuties and the scan looked so detailed too - how many weeks are u now? I also had a sneaky look at your wedding vid 🙈 😝 Wow it looked straight out of a film blimming gorgeous! 

Divas - how are u feeling? Ready to meet ur little one now ? Xxx


----------



## peanut165

Congratulations sillywrong!!! Scan looks brilliant 😊


----------



## Batwood2012

Hey everyone! Hoping you are all having a good weekend? We are trying to keep ourselves busy until first scan day arrives (11th March)... DW is feeling sicky quite often and seems to have a mega bump already, I keep teasing her that there are two in there.... we will find out soon enough!!

Silly & Peanut - Congrats on the twins news.. How exciting/terrifying/amazing all at the same time  

Autumn - Congrats on the PFP, this is fab news

Diva - not be long now. How you feeling today?


----------



## poppy05

Goodness me babies galore in here!!!   
wow huge congrats ladies, silly, peanut, autumn   


silly i love the little vid of the babies, so tiny and so clear, beautiful, and after reading KD's post i went back to have a nose at your wedding!! hahaha, wow you ladies looked absolutely stunning, it looked like the perfect wedding day, you both look so happy.   


divas im getting excited now to come on and read your birth announcement!   


Well its sat night and im in my onesie watching re runs of bake off!!!!    would much rather be down the pub downing jager bombs!!!   


Happy weekend all xx


----------



## Divas212

KD - I'm a mix of excitement, disbelief and sheer terror of labour I think we have a big boy and I have to get him out hahaha

Batswood- I'm very very tired, getting off the sofa is like doing a marathon haha I feel like a big lazy slob lol I'm getting to the point I want my body back lol


----------



## KDJay

Divas - I keep coming on here thinking I will see your birth announcement, any day now ! If it's any consolation my mother has had four children and I was the biggest at 10 pounds! Yes 10! And ahe said it was the easiest far more than her smaller babies, gravity helped! I  sure u will be great - u can do this xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

I just watched the wedding highlights video prompted by this and have noticed that all I did all the way through it is cry cry cry (which is pretty much how I've spent the last few days!) I now feel all exposed that you all know what I look like and want to know who you all are!! 

Batwood, great that your wife is feeling sick - though people keep saying this to me and it doesn't feel very sympathetic when I'm feeling awful! Ha ha

Divas I can't imagine how frustrating it must be now for you to meet lo. Though I can imagine the prospect of labour is daunting! I had come to terms with labour - thought I'd learn hypnobirthing, maybe try to opt for a water birth ... and now I feel as though it couldn't be more out of my hands, and its terrifying me! Still, what will be will be. Twice the work/pain, twice the love!

Peanut - how are you feeling love? We need to stick together and share intel!

Kd - Hope all's well with the dp, is she showing yet? Symptoms easing for her yet? 

Autumn, feeling any symptoms yet?

Herts, you ok? Is Mrs home yet?

My lovely wife (read sarcasm) went out last night. I woke up at 4am and she wasn't home yet, cue thoughts of being dead in a ditch etc. Anyway she came home at about half four and my bedroom now smells disgusting, of stale alcohol. I'm not mad, she's entitled to her fun... But I AM a bit mad because I'm being pregnant and unreasonable. Stinky horrible wife !!!!!


----------



## Divas212

Well one thing for sure he has to come out one way or another when he decides it's time!! My wife wants it to be tomorrow, I want it to be the 6th but I'm totally convinced it'll be the 15th as I had a strange dream!! I hope we don't have to wait until the 15th 😁!!

Silly - my wife was very drunk at our baby shower ha I loved that she enjoyed herself but really your sons baby shower and you get bladdered haha at the time I was annoyed but my mum was like chill out she's worked so hard on the house, she never goes out and you would have had a few drinks if it was the other way around!! To be fair she was only that drunk because she hasn't really been drinking throughout my pregnancy haha I didn't realise how drunk she actually was until she asks a question about someone who was there that was already discussed at the time and I'm like wow you was soooo drunk to not remember that lol she hasn't touched a drop since to worried I'll go into labour lol


----------



## Divas212

Another question for you ladies who have just got their BFP and approaching 12 week scans, how are you making your pregnancy announcements and when are you making them? My wife is well into apple products and messing with photography but she's no photographer lol anyway she made a lovely video on iMovie made everybody cry was so sweet and we'll always have it for our little dude. It's like a movie trailer firstly featuring us on an amazing holiday in Israel (where I started the DR injections, try going to Israel with drugs syringes and needles lol) then it moved on with a now it's time to share with a pic of me in hospital, the positive test result then a scan every week from 5 weeks until 24 weeks, it's amazing and obviously she's added to it with a the later scans 😊


----------



## Autumn13

Dolly I have my fingers crossed for you that you were testing too early and maybe have had another chance to test again, any news?

Littlepea - how are you doing? When is OTD for you?

SillyWrong and peanut - your news is super exciting!! I am surprisingly excited for you both (I still find it slightly odd that I can be emotional about people who are essentially strangers, no offence intended!) and pleased that you get extra scans because of the multiples - I think everyone secretly would love to see their babies more than they get to with only 12 and 20 week nhs scans for singletons. I hope you have both gotten over the shock and are just enjoying being excited for a while. Silly wrong - have you had more conversations about finding out the gender? I know you said you would want to if you had twins but DW not so sure? I enjoyed reading your 'stinky horrible wife' comments, had a good giggle!

Batwood - did you have 2 transferred? I wonder how long the run of twins in here can last

Poppy - bake off and onesie sounds perfect to me - my partying days are definitely behind me! Please tell me you had a cup of tea and your slippers too?

Divas - did you really have a scan every week I imagine that definitely makes for an awesome video! We haven't thought much about any announcements, was hoping to wait until 12 weeks so it still feels a long way off yet. 

KDJay - how is DP coping? 

AFM - I have turned into a POAS addict. Yesterday morning's was quite faint which I'm *hoping* was because it's a less sensitive brand. Used an identical one this morning and it was darker than yesterday. The last couple of days I've had a teeny bit of brown spotting which I'm fairly convinced is just dregs from before making their way out (horrible thought sorry!) Still no other symptoms for me though. 

Tomorrow I'm going to the clinic to get a betaHCG blood test done and picking up a prescription for more cyclogest  since one box only lasts 5 days now I'm on three a day! I will run out Monday night so I will have to stock up after work tomorrow. Does anyone know how readily available they are? Am I likely to easily find a pharmacy that has them in stock? 

Hope you are all well and that I didn't miss anyone!

xx


----------



## Elerifairy

Hi autumn, don't know if they keep them in stock but my local chemist got all my drugs in within 24hrs and just phoned ahead of having the prescription because timings were going to be really tight. Our clinic also has a local pharmacy that has everything in so might be worth checking with them? 

I'm 9dpiui now, trying not to get to carried away but had some strong pinches and twinges day 6 and 7 which could be implantation. Going to hold out until next Saturday to poas (otd isn't until the following Friday!) feeling a little superstitious about it hoeing mothers day next weekend though :-/


----------



## Divas212

Autumn at the start from 5 wk to 13 wk I had a scan every week due to recurrent mc, then even 2 wk, then growth scans, in total we counted them at about 20, the reassurance was great but now stress that we don't know if that many could cause problems.... It is a pretty awesome video though x


----------



## Herts85

Sillywrong and Peanut - arghhhhh congratulations!   Twins!  It's weird how similar your cycles have been! Hope you are both on cloud 9 with the news and not too daunted by 'double trouble!'  
I am so so pleased for you both, someone said about feeling bonded even though we are essentially strangers and I completely feel that! I've filled dp in on where everyone is and even said before I logged on about your scans! Haha! X

Sarahsuperdork - good to hear your scan went well and you start stims soon, I'm keeping everything crossed for you for this cycle! X

Divas - eek, scary practise contractions! I did wonder if I'd log on to a message about him arriving! Hope you're taking it easy and getting into 'the zone'. Everyone I know who has had children always mentions the need for refreshments in the hospital bag for both of you, so make sure you stock up on cereal bars! That's pretty much all I can offer you in terms of advice! lol! I love the sound of your video! Even though we're nowhere near that stage I'm already having ideas about the perfect announcement! Cart before the horse a bit there! X

Autumn - congratulations on the BFP! Hoping your betas on Monday and Wednesday are totally awesome and put your mind at rest. X

Dolly - hoping your result turns positive x

Little_Pea - fingers crossed, it's still very early for you and with LO you probably aren't focusing as much on symptoms anyway x

Sillywrong - your scan video is so cute! Two! Squeeeee! Poor you with dw stinking out the bedroom, I think given you're chocfull of hormones any reaction is understandable! X

Batswood - hope all goes well at your scan, most things happen in threes so maybe you'll be our third twin mummy!  x

Poppy - that sounds like a good night to me! I love nights in my onesie, with a cuppa, TV and a cat curled on my knee! Winter makes me a bit more of a homebird! Hope the waiting for your approval process isn't dragging too much! X

Elerifairy - fingers crossed that Mother's Day is a good omen for you! I had an appointment close to Mother's Day last year where they diagnosed endo etc and then my HyCoSy, Lap and Dye was the same day Proncess Charlotte was born. I remember thinking they were good signs! X

Afm you will all be pleased to know my dp came back safe and sound from her Kuwait and Dubai work adventure so she is now getting my streams of consciousness directed at her rather than you guys and the cats! Thanks for being awesome listeners though!  x


----------



## Herts85

KDJay - just realised I didn't ask how you and DP are? Hope all is well and bump is growing nicely! X

Sillywrong - I feel bad that I've peeked into your life, I don't have videos to show you in return but I put some photos of me and dp on here http://s42.photobucket.com/user/Chocolate_Lullaby/slideshow/For%20FF (hoping it works!  ) so that at least you can out a face to the name! X

/links


----------



## SillyWrong

Aw Herts you two are hooooot ladies!  Which one are you, flowers in the hair or no flowers in the hair?


----------



## KDJay

Hey Herts nice to see pics of you both! I am guessing you are the one without flowers in your hair, lighter hair - am I right!?!


----------



## Autumn13

I have a reassuring beta HCG level of 2305 at 14dp5dt. No need to go back until our scan


----------



## dolly132

Hey ladies,
Af is due today so I tested this morning with a superdrug test and got a bfn  I tested later with a clear blue digital as i have been feeling sicky all morning and it was a bfn  but I still have no sign of Af at all. I am loosing hope very quickly but until I see af I can't fully believe I'm not pregnant. Is there a chance I could be pregnant and it not show on tests till latter in the week?


----------



## KDJay

Autumn - congrats sounds great!

dolly - I am so sorry to hear that, are you on any form of progesterone support? x


----------



## SillyWrong

Autumn, I'm pleased, this sounds like great news.

Dolly, I'm sorry to hear about this.  It's horrible knowing a cycle hasn't worked.  I wouldn't send yourself mad testing and retesting if I were you, maybe just wait a couple of days and do one more to check x


----------



## dolly132

kdjay- thanks hun. I'm not on anything as we are currently doing home insemination using a known donor to begin with.

Sillywrong- thanks I think it's just driving me mad, if it didn't work this time that's fine but I wish af would just show so I know.


----------



## KDJay

dolly i can imagine it is driving you mad - limbo is a horrible place to be! x


----------



## Little_Pea

Dolly just to let you know the clear blue digital needs one of the higher levels of HCG to pick up a BFP... Boots 4 days early and first response are at the lower end. 

Hope you get your BFP XXX


----------



## dolly132

Thanks little_pea. Does that mean I would be better off getting a boots or first response test? I'm finding testing first thing in the morning difficult as my body seems to have decided that 2-3am is an appropriate time to pee! !


----------



## Herts85

totally didn't think through the photos being two girls! Doh! 

Sorry KDJay, I'm the one with darker hair! X

Sillywrong, thanks, you'll make me blush although I do think that dp is very hot! I'm the one with flowers although I hadn't realised how much I wear them til now especially considering that was a few different events! Must be my 'thing'! X

Autumn - that's great! Is that pretty high for 14dp? Like twins high?   x

Dolly - sorry to hear you had a negative test result, I guess some brands depend a lot on concentration, it's still early days, you may have a late implanter and don't forget a lot of women would not even think they were pregnant until a few days after this point. Weirdly my mum had negative test results with my younger sister until she was 14 weeks gone! X


----------



## Divas212

Autumm- great news 😊!!! 

I'm off to see the midwife in the morning for a stretch and sweep, hopefully that will trigger the start!! Unfortunately my wife is at work and can't come tomoz, we're both a bit gutted about it but it is what it is, she'll be busy looking after other people... If I do go into labour she'll be home quick smart just daunting on my own 😬


----------



## Herts85

Divas -   Hope it's not too ouchy for you! Is there anyone else you can take along, even if they wait outside for you? This waiting around part does seem quite difficult! Hope you're not too uncomfortable x


----------



## Autumn13

Evening ladies! 

Sorry to hear testing hasn't gone well Dolly, maybe try to hold out for a couple of days then test again if AF still hasn't arrived. Brans vary in sensitivity, so how much you have been drinking etc can have a big effect! Fingers crossed for you. 

Herts twins did briefly cross my mind i must say! DW told me before my bloods this morning if it was between 200-1000 then that's good. I didn't ask enough questions when the clinic phoned with the result, I was at work and just relieved. But 5 minutes later I did think it was fairly high. Anyone got any beta results to share?! We had a SET so its fairly unlikely. 

Divas I've never heard of USS causing any problems with babies, no doubt you've googled?! It's not radiation to the baby so shouldn't cause any issues. I'm still looking forward to hearing your arrival announcement on the 2nd, only two days to go! (Although I was also convinced i would win the lottery on friday and that didn't happen...)

Elerifairy how are you doing? Any more symptoms? I managed to get 4 boxes of cyclogest from asda (bargain price as they don't make profits on fertility drugs) so all is well 

Hope everyone else is well 

xx


----------



## poppy05

Evening girls


Autumn wow they are pretty high betas    you may have a BOGOF there!!   


divas good luck for your stretch and sweep tomorrow, eeeeeeek its so excitng, i really cant wait to come on and read your announcement   


little_pea sorry to read you got a bfn    like others have said though, it could be a bit too early to detect? i heard of someone never getting a positive pregnancy test with both of her babies, i find that really odd and if its true then it is rare, but strange things do happen, with both my bfp's i never got a positive on an ordinary 2 line test, only on the digitals, try again in morn, good luck hun   


eleriafairy, my local chemist ordered in my cyclogest, they ordered it in morn and i picked it up same day, think they charged about £15 per box? 


herts, woooooooo gorgeous ladies! thanks for sharing your pics   


feeling a bit fed up tonight, ive just booked a hotel for my birthday weekend, i am going to be 40 in may! us and some friends are going to brighton, we were going to go abroad on a city break but we cant book anything during the adoption process, and we figured that even if we have a course/meeting that weekend then we would still be able to drive down to brighton for the sat night, if we booked abroad then we would just have to not go and lose the money.
anyway i feel fed up because i cannot believe im going to be 40 and im still not a mum    i started trying when i was 20, half of my life i have been chasing the dream of having children, and i never in my wildest dreams imagined at 40 years of age i would still be here posting on ff childless!
this isnt a feel sorry for me post, and believe me i have had a really good life while trying, fabulous holidays, wild weekends away, parties, and so much fun, i just really cant believe im going to enter my 40th year and still not somebodys mummy, im not giving up now though, as dory would say 'keep on swimming'! 




sorry im not really a miserable cow haha, im due on forgive me!!


----------



## Elerifairy

Hi all, sorry I'm a bit rubbish at personals only on my phone so hard to keep up with everyone! 
Glad you got a good beta Autumn! How long do you have to wait for your first scan?
10dpiui now, had lots of afternoon nausea and random bouts of sick burps (gross!) trying not to get my hopes up too high as could just be the utrogestan. I'm in my most stressful busy time of the year at work right now but so preoccupied with baby on the brain that it's all going smoothly and just letting it happen, apart from having random panics that it all seems too easy so I must be forgetting something! 

Hope everyone else is well xx


----------



## KDJay

Just a quick one as logged on when I couldn't sleep - poppy I feel for u so so much your post brought a year to my eye I just had to respond straight away. There is not much I can say that offer u our continued support on here and I know that you wil make someone a wonderful mummy through this adoption process and that everything u have been through will make u an even better mummy when u take that LO home. My mother had me in her forties and we have a much bigger bond than my siblings she had in her twenties. This will be your time and I can't wait to hear how the process pans out for u! Also - if I bump into you on brighton for ur birthday ill make sure to buy u a cocktail


----------



## SillyWrong

Herts, for some reason I thought you were your dp too! How funny!

Divas! How exciting! Whenever I hear about the sweep it always makes my tummy go a bit funny - urgh! I hope you get through it OK. How come they are doing that now, you're not at EDD yet are you?

Autumn I didn't have a Beta this time so can't offer any advice, though I did once find this site quite useful (when I got a beta of 15 when I had my chemical  ) http://www.betabase.info/ Wouldn't that be spooky if you fell with twins!? This thread would have to be exorcised!! ha ha

Aw Poppy I'm sorry you're having a touch time at the moment. It's completely normal to have a wobble before a big birthday and to start assessing what you have/haven't done yet. After my 30th I went off travelling around the world! Enjoy the celebrations as much as you can, and just think, by this christmas, you *could* be watching a tot open their presents (for some reason, whenever I get the jeebies about what's happening this year, i think of what Christmas day will be like this year and feel all lovely inside!)

Elerifairy - keep going love, nearly there 

KD - where was my cocktail!!? I was up at this time this morning too - woke up dying of thirst and reached over for a drink and managed to splosh a pint of water all over EVERYTHING, the dog, the dog bed, the walls, the carpet. I then started crying. I am in the crying phase, clearly.

/links


----------



## Divas212

Ok so I went for the appointment and she couldn't do it as baby head not far enough down and if she attempted it it could have caused a cord prolapse (which sent my wife's head into a spin until I explained that she wasn't doing it) anyway she measured me and baby dropped a centile on growth chart so i'v to go in for ctg monitoring tomorrow, appointment with consultant and maybe another scan!! It is my wife's last day at work tomorrow for 6 weeks so she discussed it with her mangers and although they are very short they have allowed her to leave to take me to the appointment and dependant on what happens she's to go bk to work after, to be fair her work have been so good! I have never met her colleagues and she was only in the job a month before disclosing the whole IVF to them for leave purposes, they supported my wife when I had a mc, allowed her to be at every scan swooping shifts at very short notice and always asking after me 🙂 So we shall see what tomorrow brings!! will keep you updated x


----------



## KDJay

Silly - def get u that mocktail next time u are down! 

Divas - all go for u now! Hope scan goes well, is there any reason they are doing all this, is it standard even though u are not overdue? X


----------



## Divas212

Tomorrow's is because he has dropped on the growth chart, the stretch at sweep was just offered to me today, think it's just to try to help things start, apparently it stimulates prostaglandin release which starts labour.... Well thats how the Mrs explained it lol!


----------



## Herts85

Poppy -   I can only imagine your frustration but just think, as I so often read around here, the harder the fight, the bigger the prize. Every setback and hurdle you have had to overcome will make you a better parent. I feel sure that it will happen for you soon, I'm keep everything crossed for you hunni. Also I love the thought of us all gate crashing your birthday in Brighton, mock tails for our bumpy ladies and the hard stuff for everyone else!   X

Autumn - apparently ID twins are quite common in IVF pregnancies. Something to do with the strength and onward development of a cultured 5 day blast? I remember reading it recently. If it is then this really is a lucky thread! Although it seems to be doing pretty well anyway! Hope you get to find out at a scan soon? X

Elerifairy - it's all sounding very promising, here's hoping you keep the positive results coming!  x

KDJay - hope you sleep better tonight, and I thought I was the boards night owl!  How is dp doing? Hope she is still getting the neck massages! Is your next milestone the 20wk/gender scan? It's passing so quick! Hope the flat purchase is (or isn't as the case may be) going as well as you would like it to. It seems strange you saying about your mum having you in her forties, my mum had me at 19! (I am the eldest though!) and I've just gotten back from a weekend back home celebrating her 50th birthday! I remember picking out presents etc for her 30th! Bizarre that I'm that age now! In all fairness though I've always been the mum and she's always behaved like a child so there's a lot to be said for waiting!   x

Sillywrong - lol, how funny - I wonder why? Hope it's all going well and your sickness is calming down. Are you getting over the shock of two or does that never go away? I always reference having children to Christmas Day too, there's something so magical at the thought of having Christmas traditions with your own family. Your poor dog being covered in water! One of my cats is partial to tipping full cups of water over me in bed and generally causing mayhem if he wants feeding in a morning. I've now learnt the hard way that plastic bottles are the only way to do it! X

Divas - will be thinking of you and hoping everything goes ok tomorrow. A similar thing happened to my sister, although she was 5/6 weeks off due date, and she ended up being induced and not coming back out til she'd had my nephew. It took her by surprise a bit as she thought she'd be able to go away, prepare and come back! It's the best place for you and the extra monitoring is always a nice reassurance. Will you get another scan for your collection?   x


----------



## Divas212

Haha Herts yeah it looks like I'll be having another scan!! Hopefully all will be well, I think my wife thinks they'll induce me but I'm not convinced... Just going with the flow so long as wee boy is ok is all that matters!! I am a little concerned obviously but I'm sure he's ok 😊 We both just can't wait to meet him now and it'd be lovely if he came sooner rather than later so my wife gets as much time as possible with him before she returns back to work!!

We have all been invited to a wedding in June so a great excuse to buy a cute little suit lol x


----------



## 2mums1978

Hi all, we are just starting on our journey. GP referral to local hospital, day 2 and 21 bloods done and tv scan too. Thinking due to my age we might pay for treatment privately after initial checks have been completed? I'm 37 and my partner is 26 with severe PCOS. I'm considering IUI as I'm 28 day normal cycle and have previously been told I have no fertility issues (fingers crossed that's still the case) 

Any advice welcome


----------



## Herts85

Divas - hope it all went well today and you have a rough plan of action. I can't imagine how excited you both are, every time I log on I get a little flutter waiting to see if your arrival update is on! I wonder if we all could do a 'labour dance' for you and have him come quickly so that you get lots of time together while dw is off, I'll do a little jig for you later! X

2mums - welcome, there's a lot of great people in here so I'm sure you'll get lots of advice. For me it sounds like you are doing everything right, if you've already had your TV scan then unless it should a blockage/tube issues there's no reason why IUI shouldn't be an option for you. I know some people opt for IVF due to the higher success rate but equally IUI seems a lesser toll on your body! I have friends who just had their lo through IUI, it worked first time for them so fingers crossed you'll have similar luck! X

Hope everyone else is ok and the bfp's/little bumps are coming along nicely and not giving their mummies too much to worry about  xx


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## Divas212

Hi quick update, attended the hospital waited 3 hours as we had to see the doctor but the doctor just looked at my notes and told the midwife to book us in for a scan...which could take 10days!! Obviously we wasn't happy with that and my wife requested to speak to the dr and after voicing our concerns she the suggested to not have the scan and to book me in for induction, so all booked in for Friday Morning 😬 My wife is under the impression he is going to come on Sunday Mothers Day, will keep you posted x


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## dolly132

Oooo diva that's exciting! Won't be long till your boy is with you.

I tested again this morning as af has still not turned up and I got another bfn. I'm fine with this if I'm not but where is af? She's starting to really get on my nerves....I can't even have a drink to drown my sorrows just in case.


----------



## SillyWrong

Divas!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeee!!!


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## Autumn13

Hello, how is everyone?

Divas I have my fingers crossed all goes smoothly tomorrow! Super exciting! Has anyone else got scans/OTDs etc soon?

I'm stuck in the awful place where you want to feel some symptoms to confirm to yourself you are really pregnant, but know if i actually start feeling sick etc I'll be wishing it away again! 
We are waiting until the 18th for our viability scan which will be 7w2d, just purely to fit in with annual leave days rather than taking extra time off work. 

Xx


----------



## SillyWrong

Hi Autumn, oh it's hard isn't it, all the waiting. Remember some people don't experience symptoms. While they are a comfort, they can also be pretty debilitating sometimes! Try and see the silver lining, though I relate because whenever my sickness goes away I wish it back! The 18th will be here in no time at all! 

I don't have a scan now until 12 weeks (end of the month) still don't have a date for it, more waiting! All we do through this whole process is wait!

Divas, thinking of you today xx


----------



## Divas212

The waiting is totally the worst part in it all.... So many emotions and so frustrating the not knowing!! Just up and getting ready to get to the hospital....in the SNOW!! My wife isn't a very good driver and the whole town is at a standstill according to ******** lol makes me laugh this country a little flutter of snow and everything stops!!


----------



## Herts85

Divas - argh, how exciting!! Can't wait to hear from you next! Hope everything goes well xx

Sillywrong - 12 weeks already at the end of March? That seems to have passed so quickly! How's the sickness? X

Dolly -   Sorry for bfn, I guess there are all sorts of reasons af may be delayed. I know stress is a big one with me. Hope she arrives soon so you can have a bevvie or two! X

Autumn - don't forget that lots of ladies would have no idea they were pregnant at this stage. A friend of mine who was actively ttc managed to completely miss the fact she had fallen pregnant and it was only realised at her 12 week scan when she was actually 16 weeks pregnant! Fingers crossed that all is ok on the 18th, you could be our hat trick of twin pregnancies! X


----------



## Elerifairy

Hi all, wife made me test this morning (15dpiui)  Bfn so guess we will wait a few days and test again. OTD isn't until Friday so supposed to stay on the progesterone until then...


----------



## Autumn13

Thanks Herts and Silly. 

Divas I hope your wife got you there safely! 
Fingers crossed for good news soon. 

Elerifairy - sending you love, sorry it was negative today but will wish you well for friday, fingers crossed today was too early. 
Xx


----------



## Divas212

She did Autumn, the medical induction hasn't worked for me unfortunately so I'm still in hospital and only option now is a C section, which hopefully will be tomorrow!! It's all been absolutely awful but hopefully we'll be meeting our little fella tomorrow just hope everything is ok with him and that I won't be in too much pain after 😁😊


----------



## poppy05

Ah divas    
sorry to hear things havent gone to plan, but im so excited to read that your little boy will be here tomorrow, sending you all the luck in the world, and hopefully this time tomorrow you wont care about anything other than the perfect little baby you will be holding in your arms   
im going to be checking this thread like a nutter tomorrow! x x


----------



## SillyWrong

Divas I'm sorry you've had a tough time, thinking of you all today, best of luck, love xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck Divas - stock up on big pants and peppermint tea!


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## peanut165

Good luck Divas ❤


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## KDJay

Sending love divas! Can't wait for the announcement xxx


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## mrsww

Exciting times divas. 

I had a c section.
There is a drug they can give you to stop the itching if they don't give it ask, itching lasts 48 hours.
Take lactalose. 
Keep up on pain meds.
For the next six weeks just concentrate on baby delegate everything else. 
Wear big pants.
Spend a few times a day with pants off, sitting in towel to air wound.
Cuddle that baby, you'll learn every little thing about him.
Very exciting.


----------



## SillyWrong

Can I just please get some reassurance that I'm being crazy?  My symptoms have been dropping for the last week, they've gone from pretty fierce nausea and exhaustion to just feeling a bit sicky and tired.  I woke up this morning convinced there's now only one baby.  I'll be 9 wks on Wednesday.

Now, this isn't necessarily based on the symptoms, I know they can come and go and not mean much.  But I just feel like I know it.  Like, I 'knew' I was pregnant before I tested (without symptoms) and I 'knew' there were two babies before we had our scan.  So this morning, I woke up and just 'knew' that one has gone.  

I've been reading about the vanishing twin syndrome (where in the first tri one twin doesn't make it and is just absorbed in to the womb) is quite common, it's not known how common because obviously a majority of women aren't scanned until 12 weeks and so never knew in the first place they had more than one and then there's no evidence left that there was more than one.  They reckon up to 20-30% of pregnancies that start out as twins have a vanishing twin.  That's quite a high chance.

Anyway, I now have two choices, sit on it and wait 3 weeks for my scan (which I still don't have a date for) or go and pay for a private scan.  Or, I suppose, I could ring my mw to get advice?  I'm sure she'll just try and talk me down though.

Of course, there is every chance that this is nothing more than my mind playing games with me. 

Argh.  I feel really sad!


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Sorry to hear you feel so sad SillyWrong. I don't think your midwife can get you an earlier scan just on a feeling unfortunately  but maybe booking a private early scan would help put your mind at rest?


----------



## Herts85

Elerifairy - sorry to hear it's a bfn   X

Divas - you poor lady, sounds like you've had a rubbish time of it and I bet you're sick of the sight of the hospital! Hopefully you've had your c-section and are recovering whilst enjoying snuggles with your little boy   x

Poppy - hope things are ticking over for you with the approval process x

Sarahsuperdork - you must be quite far along your cycle, hope it's all going to plan x

Sillywrong - I think if you can hold out that will be good but if you will worry then an extra scan might put your mind at rest. My cousin (in law!) ended up with an early scan as she went to the dr's complaining of stomach pains and they realised she was around 8/9 weeks pregnant. It was 2 then but only 1 at her 12wk scan. Fingers crossed all goes well for you, I've heard a lot of people say their symptoms have dropped off a couple of weeks before the 12 wk scan so maybe it's just that x

Peanut, KDJay and everyone else - hope all is going well for you and there are lots of bfp's, bumps and babies to come x


----------



## KDJay

Silly - I'm sorry you feel so worried, book yourself a reassurance scan as it can make u go crazy with the waiting and I know how long each day can feel at this time. As u say I don't think the symptoms waning means anything so nothing to worry about there. We had vanishing twin but hopefully this has not happened to u especially since u have seen both Hb which is a really good sign xxxx


----------



## Divas212

Hello, I am posting this on behalf of divas, Archie Joseph was born at 10.47am, weighing in at 8lb7oz,  they are both doing well!! Hopefully divas won't be in too much pain, it's not been the best of experiences, but she asked me to let her online friends know that all is well!!


----------



## poppy05

OMG OMG!!!!!! what amazing news
divas, huge congratulations to you both on the birth of little Archie   
so happy for you, im sorry you didnt have the best experience, but he is here and you are both safe and well, sending lots of love to you all, and i cant wait for you to come on and let us know all about your new son!    xxxx


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations to you both on the birth of Archie! Hope you feel better soon Divas, look forward to hearing from you. 

EC for me this morning  so nervous.


----------



## KDJay

Wow congrats divas!!! What brilliant news to wake up to and thank u for letting us know! 

Sarah - good luck for EC, u will be great xxx


----------



## poppy05

good luch sarah, you will be fine xx


----------



## SillyWrong

Aaaawwwww Divas and Mrs Divas and Archie! Congratulations to you all on becoming a little family of three! Sorry you've had a hard time of it. I hope your recovery is quick x

Sarah, best of luck to you for today, hope it all goes well, let us know x

AFM - I've booked in for a scan on Sunday. I know I'm probably over reacting but I just need to know if everything's ok. And if it is, then I get to see my babies again.


----------



## Elerifairy

Congratulations divas! Xx


----------



## Herts85

Divas and Mrs Divas - big, huge congratulations on the birth of Archie!  Hope you enjoy lots of family time and that the scary birth stuff has faded into a distant memory x

Sorry really quick post as I'm sneaking on at work checking for Divas' update! 
Sarah - hope ec goes well, or went well, thinking of you x
Sillywrong - reassurance sounds like the best thing for you, keeping my fingers crossed all is well x
KDJay - hope all is good with DP and life isn't too crazy at the moment for you x

Everyone else - big love X


----------



## Autumn13

Divas I'm super pleased to hear of Archie's safe arrival! Congratulations to you both and hope you recover from the section well. 

Supersarahdork- how was EC? Hope it went well for you and you have lots of eggs and little pain. 

Sillywrong I am totally with you on needing reassurance-i have been bleeding again for the last two days so our clinic are scanning me tomorrow instead of waiting until the 18th. We are a smidge worried that its too early to see a heartbeat (6w bang on) so we might be disappointed and even more unsure!! Hope you are being paranoid and worrying over nothing, fx for sunday for you 

Xx


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Good luck tomorrow Autumn, sorry to hear you've had some more bleeding. It's nerve wracking this pregnancy thing. 

11 eggs for us today, really happy and relieved that it's done. Quite uncomfortable but I'm sure it'll only last a couple of days.


----------



## Autumn13

11 is fab! Are you pleased with that? Hope it was better than last time. Good luck for your call tomorrow! X


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Really pleased! Exactly the same number as last time (feels like a good omen) but a much better experience. I must have had more sedation - and the consultant was great - so though I'm a bit uncomfortable now, I didn't have the crazy pain I had last time.


----------



## KDJay

Sarah - well done that's great news!!! Good luck for ur call tomo xxx


----------



## poppy05

Well done sarah thats great news, drink plenty of water to rehydrate your ovaries, it helps ease the pain too,   
good luck for tomorrows call


----------



## Divas212

Thanks everyone, we're doing ok, very tired and sore, struggled with breastfeeding but getting there it's a lot harder than it looks or should I say it is for us, but nice we're learning together. He is the most beautiful, amazing, gorgeous baby and we're both totally in love with him!! We're not going home until I'm completely comfortable managing feeds, we have asked the midwife to come move in with us but she isn't too keen on that idea....luckily my wife's friend is a midwife who has offered up help and advice if we need it when we do come home!! Sorry for the lack of personals but drugs and lack of sleep are a good excuse x


----------



## Herts85

Autumn - sorry to hear about the bleeding (I hear it's very common in twin pregnancies mind!), hope tomorrow's scan puts your mind at rest and that everything is ok X 

Sarahsuperdork - well done for 11 eggs! Hope they are all getting jiggy tonight, it will be et, 2ww and test day before you know it! Hope the discomfort goes soon X

Divas - so glad to hear you're feeling ok, hope the breastfeeding gets better but remember if it doesn't get any easier it's not the be all and end all. Having a midwife on call when you go home sounds fab! Enjoy mummy cuddles with Archie  X


----------



## Divas212

Awww thanks, I know it's not but I really really want to bf, it's really important to me, on the first night he was so distressed he had expressed milk mixed with a bit of formula but not needed to do that since. It is so frustrating though, but I managed to get him latched on my own last night we so proud of him, he is definitely learning so be such a shame to give up now, but there has been tears from us all over it lol x


----------



## mrsww

Divas, congrats on you little boy. It's an amazing time. 

My daughter and I had a really tricky time with breast feeding. If you can then find a local IBCLC to come see you, they have the best breast feeding training. Hopefully one that knows about tongue ties especially posterior ones that can cause trouble. We had tears for quite a few weeks.  We did a lot of skin to skin when we got home and I just took a back step on all the house duties. Set myself up with snacks and drinks and just spent time with baby on sofa and in bed. Bfing does take work especially with a c section recovery. My daughter was also mixed fed for first seven weeks because of her tongue tie.  Not the end of the world if bfing doesn't work out but for me I really wanted it to work and needed to know I had tried everything before stopping. Getting tongue sorted was key and then stoping dairy. 

Enjoy the newborn cuddles, it goes so incredibly quick. If you ever want to PM for advice/support then feel free.


----------



## peanut165

Awwww Divas I'm so pleased for you! Congratulations. Just make sure you keep on at the staff for help with the bf if you're not totally comfortable. I struggled for over 6 months with expressing and feeding because I felt like I 'should' just be able to do it! You're a star and fc every feed will get better xx

Well done Sarah, hope lots have fertilised overnight for you 😀

Hope everyone else is ok xx


----------



## Herts85

Divas - definitely sounds like you're getting there with it! Sorry if that came across negative I just had a couple of friends last year who put themselves through the ringer for not managing to exclusively BF. One gave up pretty quickly and felt so much better for it, the other stufgled on for three months and had a horrid time. It really made me realise the amount of pressure people can feel there is. Does Archie look much like your profile pic? I've always wondered how accurate the 3D scanning is! X

Sarahsuperdork - hope you got lots of fertilised eggs overnight x

Autumn - hope your scan went ok x

Love to everyone x


----------



## Elerifairy

Very definite bfn this morning, wanted to rest a day early so I can contact the clinic today and hopefully get protocol out to start again in the next few days. Don't know how realistic that is but otherwise we would have to have 2 months off because of a booked holiday and I don't want to lose the momentum!


----------



## KDJay

Elerifairy - I am so sorry to hear of your BFN! Sending you lots of love, it sounds like you are ready to go again though! Have you thought about ivf? xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

Aw Elerifairy - I'm really sorry to hear about that.  Sounds like you are picking yourself up and dusting yourself off though.  Well done.  Hope they let you go again x


----------



## Elerifairy

We had thought about switching to ivf but going to give the iui another shot. I've technically only had one "successful" cycle so definitely worth another go. 
Got to test again in 3 days but as soon as AF arrives Im in for a scan and can go again straight away all being well! 
Dusting myself off and not feeling too glum, doesn't help anything so PMA all the way!!


----------



## Terrisita

Hi ladies,

I have to confess to have been reading this board from the beginning. Thank you for sharing your journeys. We are trying to use my partners eggs and hope that I carry. We have both had prostap injection, but my wife has had her period and I am still waiting on mine. It is now day 38 and I am feeling disheartened as well as uncomfortable. I have had a scan and they say it will come! Has anyone had any similar experiences?


----------



## Autumn13

Hello everyone

Welcome Terrisita  AF gets messed up if you are stressed-a watched kettle never boils and all that! It will happen  

Elerifairy i will keep hopeful fx for 3days time but glad you are sorting out plans anyway!

Herts, thank you.  Our scan was good, we saw a teeny tiny heartbeat and measured at 5+5 (which is right according to them and the dates). My hcg must just have been high, no twins for us! 

How is everyone else? 

Just looking for a bit of advice - nhs recommends vitamin D throughout pregnancy but our clinic hasn't mentioned it. Did/does everyone else who has been/is pregnant take it? 
Xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

Terrisita - If i've learned anything, it's that cycles go all doollally when you start on this process, the most perfectly regular cycle will get all shy and go in to hiding while you're waiting for it!  even my wifes on the cycle that worked for us - she was about 5 days late!  Try not to worry too much (famous last words!!) and welcome to the thread!

Autumn - yay to a wee flickery heart beat!  Tell me truthful, were you wondering if you might have been struck by this threads curse/blessing and have two in there!? ha ha

I am getting well and truly messed around by the midwives - got a letter yesterday with an appointment for booking in WHEN I'LL BE 14 WEEKS!!! Rang them and they would only move the appointment forward to 11 weeks, and I won't be booked in for my 12 week scan til after my booking in appointment (apparently the mw has to book me in after she's seen me), so there is no way i'll be scanned at 12 weeks.  The woman on the phone told me not to worry, I can "wait til anything up to 14+1"!!  She wouldn't acknowledge that I'm classed as a "high risk" pregnancy and feel like I've just been left to get on with it with no support.  It's horrible. 

Anyway - we have our private scan on Sunday.  I'm crapping myself, can't shake the feeling that all is not well.  But then I suppose that's perfectly normal for any new pregnancy.


----------



## KDJay

Welcome terrisita! We did inter partner too but I can't even remember having to wait for periods, maybe this was Becuase we were both put on the pill and it's a different protocol. 

Autumn - my do takes pregnacare and I am sure that contains the vit D, are u on that already? And congrats!!!! We had scan at 5+4 and couldn't see a Hb yet so that's good going 

Silly - that's crazy although I have read similar stories from other ppl! Did she reassure u at least that ur scan will be able to be booked in that timescale after booking and before 14 weeks? Are u going to have nt screening? I think I recall u saying u didn't want it but I may be getting mixed up 

Xxxx


----------



## Elerifairy

I've recently discovered superdrugs own pre/pregnancy vitamin which is I think £2.99! Pretty much same as pregnacare but lower iron (so less constipation as a side affect apparently). Xx


----------



## SillyWrong

Oh sorry Autumn I didn't answer about vits.  I take the Seven Seas pregnancy vitamins which have exactly the same as pregnacare - but I found pregnacare tasted vile (even for the half second it takes to swallow with a drink) and used to make me gag.  Seven seas is also loads cheaper - usually on 3 for 2 in Sainsburys.

KD - there was no reassurance - the woman on the phone was acting as if I was asking for something I wasn't entitled to!!! My wife has a gob on her, she won't stand for a late scan! 

Elerifairy - Iron is one of the most important ones you need in pregnancy because of the massive increase in blood flow - but yes, the effects of it make me sad!  (I'm often found rolling around on the sofa in the evening in pain with a belly that looks 8 months gone!)


----------



## Terrisita

Thanks ladies,

It really is good to have someone to talk to. I said from the beginning I was not going to get all angsty and crazy, but after so many delays and setbacks, even the little things are driving me crazy.

Autumn - wonderful news on the heartbeat! 

Sillywrong, thanks for the reassurance. People who do not go through this have no idea how different the process and presumably feelings about pregnancy must be. We need a little extra reassurance! 

KDJay it is interesting how differently clinics approach this. we have found it a bit of a struggle with talk of 'egg donation'. I had to go through a dry run before xmas to see if my lining would thicken because of this and my system has been messed up ever since. It is good to know that it can work!


----------



## Herts85

Welcome to the board Terrisita! I'm glad you decided to join in with the chat. It sounds like it'll be all systems go for you soon, hope af is here soon! X

Elerifairy - sorry to hear it's a definite bfn. Hoping its your time next cycle x

Autumn - yay for the heartbeat, so pleased for you! Must be a strong embie to have such a high reading! X

Sillywrong - glad your wife is giving them a piece of her mind, that's completely unacceptable! I have no idea what part of IVF + twin pregnancy = low risk! Hoping you aren't kept waiting too long for your NHS scan and that your reassurance one goes well on Sunday x


----------



## Yolo

Hi all

I haven't been on this board for a long time as it went very quiet for ages.  Glad to see it's become active again!

I just wondered whether any lesbian mummies have found themselves isolated after their babies were born and how you coped?  I'm about to start maternity leave (bubs is due in early April) but I don't know any other same sex couples with young kids in my area.  I know some straight couples due around the same time through antenatal classes but I don't really feel I have much in common with them.  Just getting a bit anxious about it.  

Good luck to all those going through treatment at the moment.


----------



## Elerifairy

Ignore me about the superdrug pregnancy care vits! They do have 100% rda of iron (think the old ones were 50%) xx


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Hi Yolo, it's normal to feel anxious but try not to worry. I don't have any lesbian friends; not because I've chosen not to have any, more that the friends I have just so happen to be straight. It doesn't matter whether a woman is hetero or homosexual (or bisexual, for that matter) she will still struggle with sleepless nights, wonder what to do with a crying baby and feel like her insides are about to fall out soon after birth. When you have a baby, *that* is what you have in common. I did struggle after DS was born but not because I'm a lesbian.

Hi and good luck Terrisita!

Elerifairy - Sorry to hear about your BFN  well done on saying so positive. I take Morrisons own brand pregnancy multivitamins and they do the job just the same as Pregnacare or other more expensive brands. 

SillyWrong - What a stress for you! It's crazy not to get a booking in appointment until 14 weeks because obviously your scan will be after that and it's supposed to be done at 12 weeks. Yes it *can* be done later but it shouldn't be for your own sanity! I hope you get somewhere with them. Good luck for your private scan on Sunday, hope all is well. 

Autumn - Amazing that you saw a heartbeat this early! As above, I take a pregnancy multivitamin to make sure I'm getting everything I need. 

Divas - Good luck with the breastfeeding. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself and remember there are other options - midwives never really talk about supplementing with formula or expressing milk so that LO can drink it from a bottle. I stopped breastfeeding DS at 6 weeks (he really just couldn't do it properly and we got no help with it at all) but he had breast milk until 4 months because I expressed for him every day instead. 

Hope you're well KDJay, peanut, mrsww and Herts. 

Just waiting for a call on our embryos, today is day 3 so transfer either this afternoon or Sunday morning.


----------



## KDJay

Sarah - I don't know why (as it is not funny and quite sad) but this line of your post made me laugh! "I did struggle after DS was born but not because I'm a lesbian". lol - Is that bad it brought a smile to my face? Prob coz I can imagine me saying exactly the same thing. 

Yolo - what sarah said is exactly what I was thinking, what you will have in common is the babies, the pregnancies etc. the fact that they have a male partner and you a female will not come into it (wouldn't in my world anyway) especially since I guess on maternity leave you will mostly be around other females rather than as couples, if that makes sense. 

xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

KD - you're right, I did say we weren't going to do the screening.  I don't see any benefit to it personally, what will be will be. 

YOLO - I kind of know what you might mean about not knowing any other gay mums.  I mean, I get what other people are saying about it not mattering, but equally, I think some peoples sexuality is a great deal more about their identity than just sexuality - and you want other people who you can relate to in that way, for that section of your identity?  Have a search on ******** for any relevant groups in your area, or have a look on the pink parents website, I know they hold 'socials' all over the country, picnics and things, for parents to meet other parents.  Where do you live?  it's a bit harder if you're not close to a big city.  And in the mean time, talk to us 

Thanks all for the good luck.  Trying not to think about it, because really all I'm doing is sending myself around the bend for no reason at all!  I so hope to see two heartbeats on Sunday so I can go back to being excited and planning for two, I feel like at the moment I'm on hold and am scared to mention the 'T' word in case it's not true any more!  Loopy!


----------



## SillyWrong

PS - 
Sarah, any news?


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Heading in for a day 3 transfer, need to speak to the consultant first but I think of the 10 fertilised we only have 2 that look good so expecting a double transfer. Bit of a shock but better to know now than wait until day 5 and have nothing.


----------



## KDJay

good luck for transfer hun , double transfer sounds like a good shout for you xxx hope all goes well


----------



## SillyWrong

Good luck Sarah!  I know it's disappointing when you don't see the numbers you want to see, everything crossed that these two little ones are the only two you'll need.


----------



## sarahsuperdork

One 7 cell on board! Consultant really didn't want to risk a twin pregnancy after my first was high risk so she felt the best option was a single transfer. Fingers crossed.


----------



## KDJay

Good luck hun, fingers crossed xxx


----------



## SillyWrong

Congratulations on having precious cargo on board! And fingers crossed t'other littlun progresses to day 5 x


----------



## peanut165

Hello everyone! Such a lot going on sorry for not keeping up lately!

Congratulations SarahSD!! Massive positive thoughts for you. 

Great news Autumn, so glad you saw a heartbeat. 

So sorry about your bfn Elerifairy 😢 Has otd passed?

Hello to everyone else, I have read all your posts but am on my phone and have a rubbish memory. Good luck on your journeys 😊

Yolo what area are you in? I understand what you mean about the isolation and can only share personal experience that when my dd was born I didn't really socialise much soon after she was born and anything we did was definitely about being a mum than an actual person detached from my daughter 😂 now a lot of the time I am still **'s mum. It's not often I'm my own person anymore but I love that ❤ 

Sillywrong that's awful! How can they justify that when you've got twins on board! Hope Mrs Silly gives them what for! Good luck for Sunday, will be thinking of you.

KD and Herts ❤

Divas, hope you're all doing well xx

xxx


----------



## Divas212

We're all settled now, unfortunately had to give up on BFP, my hands are not working due to carpal tunnel bloody hormones, gutted about it but best for us all we have tried everything and it's just not working!! He had his weight check and lost 8.8% but I'm not overly concerned in fact I expected it to be more!! The first 24 hours home was horrendous but we are getting there now!! My wife has been amazing keeps reminding me that I'm recovering too 😊 He is gorgeous btw x


----------



## Divas212

Bf not bfp


----------



## Herts85

Divas -   Good to hear you are home. One of my best friends was desperate to bf but, much like you, ended up with an Emergency CS after a long labour. Very quickly she moved to bottles as it just wasn't happening but said the relief she felt after making the decision was massive and mw/nurses were really supportive. Don't forget you're adjusting to a new baby and recovering from major surgery - it's a lot for your body to go through! Hope the three of you are having lots of family time together x

Hi Yolo - congratulations on your pregnancy! I think the others have hit it on the head with parenting being your bond. Although my friendship group contains same sex couples that's not what bonds us and it's the shared interests that keep the friendship going. X

Sarahsuperdork - woohoo for being pupo! Fingers crossed your other embie is strong enough to freeze x

Sillywrong - good luck for tomorrow x

KDJay - I laughed at that line too, I can definitely imagine saying it myself! X

Peanut - hope its going well x


----------



## Divas212

Well it's all quite on here these days thought I'd have loads to catch up on...., so we moved to bottle and we now have a very content baby and two very happy mummies!! Had our first trip out today took until 16.00 to be ready and by the time we got to where we were going (ice cream at a local beauty spot) the cafe was close so we sat on a bench and too in the view in the sunshine 😊 Beautiful! Little dude was none the wiser as he was fast asleep but still was nice to be out lol


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## peanut165

Sounds wonderful Divas  so pleased for you.

It is quiet on here. Hope everyone is ok xx


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## KDJay

Divas that just sounds perfect! Glad ur little one has two happy mummies xxxx


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## sarahsuperdork

Glad you're getting out Divas


----------



## Divas212

Yeah it was lovely 😊, how is everyone else doing?


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## Elerifairy

Sounds perfect divas!
Had my normal 17mm persistent follicle at my baseline scan on Monday and another 12mm had joined in the party but I got the go ahead to start stims but will be checking up on me on Friday to see what's happening. Xx


----------



## Divas212

Fingers crossed & good luck x


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Good luck Elerifairy!

I'm 5dp3dt and driving myself mad  had a real wobble today convinced it hasn't worked. Feeling a little better this evening thankfully!


----------



## Divas212

Awww Sarah I know the feeling well, I was convinced mine hadn't worked this time around, fingers crossed and look after yourself, try not to drive yourself mad x


----------



## KDJay

Good luck Elerifairy 

Sarah - it's a constant fight isn't it to battle against the negative feelings creeping in - i tried to concentrate on what I wanted not what I didn't want and that helped xxx


----------



## poppy05

Good luck eleriafairy   


hugs sarah    hang in there, this is the worst bit, but you are doing well 


Ah divas thats so cute you and dw sat in the sunshine with 'little dude' bet you both sat with great big smiles on your faces?    glad you are all doing so well 


We had a social worker visit today, there were a couple of things that came up they needed further info on, nothing major but i suffered anxiety and a bit of depression last year after my last failed tx and miscarriage, they wanted to know if i had suffered depression before (i hadnt) and wanted to know more about how i dealt with things, i had already told them i had counselling etc, but was happy to go over it again.
and the other thing was our finances, we dont have any savings as it all went on ivf, so we have had to make a savings plan and then show evidence of this, its not a problem for us, it just means we have to make lifestyle changes now rather than later on when small person comes home, it has probably done us a favour really, as we do need to save, we will have quite an expensive shopping trip coming up once we get a placement, and we have been putting it off as there always seems to be a reason to put it of for another month, but its time to just do it! 
however im still havimg my one last blow out in brighton for my 40th, and i told the social worker that too!!


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## Herts85

Poppy05 - love it that the 40th blow out is ring fenced!  A savings plan sounds good. I guess with adoption you lose the months of preparation before it and may have a lot more to buy if you have an older child or sibling group placed! X

KDJay - hope you, dp and bump are well x

Divas - good to hear your little family is settling into a routine. Glad you sorted feeding, happy mummy = happy baby  Has it sunk in properly that you're a mummy yet? X


Elerifairy - your follies sound promising, fingers crossed for this being your cycle x

Sarahsuperdork - I can't believe you're already 5dp! When is otd? Hope you're not being driven too crazy on your 2ww and big crossed fingers for you! X

Peanut - hope you're well x

Sorry for the quietness guys, I've been meaning to post and try to get a conversation started but to be honest I've been really busy with work but also have a lot of stuff to deal with as my dp is needing a lot of support right now. Plus I'm boring and have no IVF news anyway haha! hope everyone is well though and I look forward to the chatter on here - it really cheers me up hearing where you are all at  xxxx


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## poppy05

haha herts ive just noticed the words written under your avatar, reminded me of the social worker today, she came in and was met by our dogs and she said 'ooh hello are these your first children'!!! haha


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## Herts85

Awww, it's so true though - no matter how many human babies I may be blessed with the hairy babies will always be my first 'children'. Though worryingly I can see the crazy cat lady tendencies spiralling out of control should there be no human babies!   x


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## poppy05

Oh im totally with you there hun, except dogs not cats, infact i think it crossed my mind for a few seconds to just get another dog and not continue trying for children!!!


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## Divas212

Poppy you would have laughed if you had seen us, totally paranoid is he warm enough? Is he still breathing?, are his blankets in his face? Is he warm enough? Lol but yes we are so happy with him!! It's crazy we are a family and have our little dude totally dependent on us, it's a little daunting too!! Just done his night feed and I'm sat watching him totally paranoid he's going to be sick, I spend hours at night just watching or half asleep listening in to him!

Herts - it feels so surreal, don't quite believe it yet but then also feel like he's been here forever, he is so adorable and cute with quite the little temper on him little arms and legs flap away when he's hungry, goes bright red in the face when we're in full on scream mode!! He loves to suck his hands and totally took to the bottle. Despite having the nephews and nieces we didn't have a clue what we're doing, it's a very steep learning curve!! With having a cs my wife has seriously stepped up and got us all organised, having to do all the physical stuff as well as emotional support for me during the breastfeeding saga if it wasn't for her I don't know how I would have coped. I can't get used to saying my son!! Our little fur ball our first fur baby was a bit unimpressed the first few days but after a walk and a few treats he's come round!! He is so protective of us but knows he's not allowed near our baby, he lies guard near his basket, if anybody comes as in midwife or breastfeeding support worker he follows them around just to keep an eye on them! Its the most amazing yet terrifying feeling and does take time to adjust but we're getting there!! Our dude is our world now and it's amazing, seeing my wife with him just totally melts my heart she's so amazing with him singing the daft totally made up songs that sound suspiciously like football chants with different words, hahaha it's a crazy feeling but a feeling we've craved for so long!! Duty calls crying baba x


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## KDJay

Oh Dovas it is so lovely to hear how you are doing I am so happy for you xxx 

Poppy -I can't believe the things they get into during the adoption process i know it has its purpose but it still feels like such a hoppe to jump through for someone who is so right and ready to start a family. Hope you enjoy your big 40 in Brighton! 

Herts - Its never boring to hear from you! hope everything is all ok and not too stresfull xxx

Sarah - hope you can enjoy being pupo xxx

Peanut and Silly - hope you two pregnant ladies are ok?

AFM - we have our first consultant appt in the morning  - does anyone know what will happen at this as we have no clue at all what to expect? I would love it if we got a scan but I doubt it guessing it will be just a chat? I have a late night tonight as well an awards ceremony with work and not getting picked up until 1am! xxx


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## Divas212

KD- we had our first consultant appointment at 12 weeks, so it was matched with our 12 week scan....everywhere is so different!! They just discussed why IVF and a few birth options, basically an introduction and we were told if everything goes smoothly during pregnancy we could be midwife led. We decided there that I wanted to be on the midwife led birth suite, however that didn't happen with being induced & section! Have a rough idea what the options are and when the time comes have a little plan what you would like, but don't put any pressure on because ultimately baby decides. I think that's why the inability to breastfeed hit me so hard, I was adamant I was breastfeeding but didn't account for the fact sometimes it's just not possible!! Good luck and let us know how you get on x


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## KDJay

Thanks Divas for your message - yes its good to keep an open mind as you just never know what will happen. We are swaying towards home birth at the moment but goodness knows what the consultant will think with this being ivf and Shelley 40 I am sure we will find out tomo. Do you mind me asking why did they induced you so early as opposed to 14 days after your EDD?  - does it have something to do with it being an ivf pregnancy?


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## SillyWrong

Divas - what a lovely description of new parenthood, you've bought tears to my eyes!!

Sarah - Argh I do not envy you, it's torture!  I see you have a while to OTD, will you be a sneaky early tester or disciplined and test on OTD!? We set our own test date, 14 days after EC (which was 2 days before OTD).

KD - Good luck with your appointment, you'll have to tell us what happens! Oh, and a friend of mine who is a sol in London recently mentioned needing a new frock for an awards ceremony, wouldn't it be funny if it is the same one?  She said hers is at something-palace in London (can't think of the name of it!!!)

Elerifairy - sounds like a positive start to your cycle, fingers crossed. 

Poppy - so glad it's all moving on for you.  And yes, starting to make those financial changes are a big step!  We sat down and reworked our household budget to make way for savings recently too.  Any ideas on timelines for you guys now? 

Urgh - not looking forward to my 'AFM' ... we have bad news.  We lost one of our twins at 8+5.  It's been a horribly horrendous week but we're emerging out of the other side of it all now and feeling much stronger.  Twin one is still doing really well, measured a day ahead so we're now 10+2 - got a great look at him/her while we were having our scans to confirm the loss of T2.  This TTC/pregnancy (and I guess parenting!) faff is hard and heart breaking and exhausting, so i'm sending love to each and every one of you, whether you're in a good place or a bad place or a frustrated place at the moment.  Just keep going x


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## Divas212

KD - we were referred to the hospital as due to the midwife calculations he had crossed a centile on the growth chart indicating he'd stopped growing, I'd had a few episodes of reduced movements but that could have been due to anterior placenta. Anyway at the hospital they had me on the monitor and he seemed fine and the dr came to say we need a scan but you could be waiting 10 days!! I was 40 weeks by this point, so I said I'm not happy to wait as its IVF, rfm and now this growth thing so we decided to opt for induction, it didn't work, my cervix just didn't do what it was supposed to! I had 2 days of contractions for no reason and it wasn't very pleasant for the whole weekend. I was booked for a emergency section, but lowest category for emergency, the consultant came and asked if he could asses my cervix so he had a feel and said yes there is no way we can get this baby out without section, he was born with the cord around his neck, lots of red marks on his face which I am convinced was due to contracting for 48 hours when he wasn't in the right position. Thankfully he is absolutely fine but we did have a battle at some points, some midwifes were excellent some totally awful! Unfortunately I didn't get skin to sling straight away and my hands were totally numb from carpal tunnel so all impeded on my ability to breastfeed, it was awful! The support from breast feeding people in the hospital was excellent I can't fault them but they couldn't be there 24/7 and my wife wasn't allowed to stay overnight on that particular ward, he wouldn't be put down in the cot at all and we now know that's because he was starving!! I had 2 hrs sleep in 48 hours and the last day I was in when it came to the end of visiting my wife was looking at me and said I can't have you having another night like that so asked if she could stay and the answer was no! The private rooms were being decorated so couldn't be in there so they let us home at 23.00!! The following day we were so worried as he couldn't feed we got help from the breast feeding support worker, and community midwifes. Also my wife's friend, who is a midwife spent hours with me, I was so traumatised from the inability to breastfeed and the fact he was starving we gave him top ups from a little sip cup thing they provided. I felt like a complete and utter failure but it was the right decision to go to the bottle now for him! I was so close to loosing the plot but now everything is great! Get the support you need and don't be afraid to admit when you feel like you can't cope!! Wow that turned into a massive post sorry for the whole story but think the realities are good to share x


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## sarahsuperdork

SillyWrong I'm so sorry to see you've lost one of your precious twins. It's great that you have one baby growing away but must be heartbreaking all the same. 

My OTD is a really conservative one. I'll be 14 days past EC on Tue and OTD isn't until the Sat after. I'm going to try to hold out until the day before because I'm off work (and it's Good Friday!) but we'll see. I bled very early last time so I have a bit of a mental block at the moment. If I can get through tomorrow, I'll feel more positive.


----------



## poppy05

Sillywrong im so sorry to hear you have lost one of the twins thats very sad, sending love and hugs to you both,


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## Herts85

Divas - your parenting adventures sound wonderful! Glad you're feeling less stressed with the feeding being sorted, I'm sure you tried your best and that's all you can ask of yourself x

Poppy - that's a thought I can imagine having! I think it just means we're good fur-mummies! Lol x

Kdjay - hope you have a good night at your awards ceremony and that all goes well at your appt tomorrow x

Sillywrong - big hugs hunni, you must have such a mix of emotions right now x

Sarahsuperdork - wow that's an epic 2ww, I hope you get a lovely bfp when you do test! X

Afm - I'm trying to be sensible and think with my head which means I'll be waiting until June to cycle but that if we are successful I get an extra 6 weeks half pay for mat leave. My heart is screaming 'try now/asap!' it may not work anyway and if not I could end up with those dates for cycle 2 but for the extra money it's worth the wait, arghhhhh! X


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## Divas212

Silly - I'm so sorry for your loss and your so right with all the emotions this journey takes you on!!

Herts you have to do what is right and if being right is waiting a little while financially it's worth the wait as you need to try keep any stressed to a minimum x


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## peanut165

Morning all 

Sillywrong, so sorry 😢 huge respect for you, sending lots of love Xx

Divas it's so lovely to hear all about your first days as a family, sounds magical  how is your cs recovery going? 

Elerifairy fingers crossed for some good news for you today.

Good luck for the appointment today KDJay.

Sarah these days are ticking by nicely and OTD will be here before you know it. Look after yourself.

Poppy, glad things are moving for you even if everything is so invasive. It will be worth it xx

Herts, you'll make the right decision for your family. What will be will be and this time next year whatever you decide you could be ready to meet a new member  not long in the grand scheme.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Afm, I'm now 10 weeks pregnant with twins. Had a scan yesterday, it was a private reassurance scan as I'm a heck of a worrier! But all was fine thankfully, one was very much showing off waving and bouncing about! The other was just chilling. Have now booked in with my doc and the local hospital so now I suppose I'm just waiting again, this time for appointments and nhs scans which will hopefully be within a couple of weeks. It's been 6 years since I was last pregnant and I was in a different part of the country then so it all feels new again! Plus I didn't have any nausea at all last time but this has been constant! All worth it though  

Have a lovely weekend everyone xxx


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## Divas212

Peanut - I'm recovering ok thanks, little man was a bit distressed last night and I hurt myself rocking him in my arms but think it's just moving side to side...many congratulations on twins how exciting!! X


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## Divas212

Well our son passed his hearing test today and I have splints and exercises to do for my hands, we managed a 3 hour trip out successfully... It's like a Milatary exercise trying to get out the house lol x


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## 2mums1978

Hi all, so happy to see the new baby stories since we were last on here. We visited Manchester fertility clinic last night for an open evening and have decided to Enjoy a family holiday in June before starting treatment... Gives me time to get a bit more weight off and have more checks. Results for 2 and 21 day bloods and tv scan on the 4th of April so hopefully al that goes ok.:...... Until then we will continue to read the updates and get inspiration from all your stories 😊


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## Herts85

Divas - I know you are completely right, it's the total head-v-heart dilemma though! I'm impressed with your 3 hour excursion, my eldest nephew is 9 and I'm still daunted at organising them for a trip anywhere! Hope your hands get better with the exercises and yay for the hearing test pass! x

Peanut - hopefully you can enjoy things a bit more after having the scan. Sounds like your twins already have their own personalities! X

2mums - sounds like you guys are well on track for your journey, exciting times ahead! X

Thanks for telling me what I needed to hear about dates/cycling/mat pay. It's silly not to and one less thing to worry about plus the time will go so quickly. In fact it's already mapped out - I have a holiday in April, potentially laser eye surgery in May (had the consultation today, not the most pleasant experience!) and Glastonbury in June! Then, if all the planets align, af is due the following week so I should be able to get straight on with it, get pregnant first try (and get some fab frosties), have a stress free pregnancy, easy delivery, perfect baby (after the date to get enhanced maternity) and be a size 10 within 12 weeks of delivery!     I am being completely rediculous here (I'm not even a size 10 now for a start!) but hey PMA right!?  

Happy Friday/weekend everyone xx


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## Divas212

Herts that made me giggle!! Good to plan but maybe expectations are a tad high there lol


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## KDJay

Divas - no need to apologise for the long post, I loved reading it and it didn't surprise or scare me as part of a huge family I know how hard it is (part of the reason my friends beer thought I would have kids! Lol) I remember clearly being 11 when my sister had my first niece and she was crying and bleeding trying to bf and was getting very distressed. We will just have to see how it goes. 

Peanut - lovely to hear the two are doing so well 

Silly - you know how gutted I am for u but so glad to hear your feeling better and big love to your wife too! 

Herts - seems sensible to me although on many levels I'm very logical and sensible with this baby business I have just gone with my heart and dived in without planning too much as there will never be a perfect time to have a baby and everyone manages somehow (I just need to find out what that somehow is?!?!) 

Sarah - how u feeling during the 2ww, going mad yet? Our otd was 9dp5dt and by that date Even though it seemed early we had a big strong line


----------



## KDJay

2mums - hi!!! Exciting times for you, do u know what treatment u are starting out on? Good luck xxx also, start taking pregnacare preconception now to give it a good three months and any other vitamins u think may help egg quality as they need three months to make an impact on your eggs. 

Poppy - hope u are ok

Elerifairy - how are things going? 

Afm - had consultant appt yeaterday, went well. Mentioned inducing at 40 weeks but happy to relax that as we used my eggs and also didn't totally negate home birth although did ask why we wanted home birth 'after going through all this to have a baby' started dp on baby aspirin to prevent pre eclampsia and they want to see us again at 32 weeks but otherwise normal pregnancy. 

I don't know if I mentioned but I was adamant we were having a girl as Shelley was given this semi precious stone pendant thing that u hold and dependant on which way it turns gives u answers for questions! It said a girl when both of us held it but it also said I would win this award at an award ceremony I went to. Hence I have already started buying girl clothes (cute rainbow outfit in GAP!) on the back of this crystal and was 100% sure it is a girl but then the crystal got it wrong about the award haha and Shelley did the baking soda test last night and it said boy! Can u tell I'm desperate to find out!!!


----------



## Divas212

KD- I was convinced I was having a girl and my wife was convinced a boy so either way one of us was going to be right! When the IVF nurse did a scan at 10 weeks she blurted out she thought it was going to be a boy, we were gutted as we wasn't going to find out. I'm so glad the nurse told us what she thought as we then decided to find out for sure at 16 week scan, I felt like we got to know him before he arrived if that makes sense? Although I imagine a surprise is equally as nice! Are you going to find out or keep it secret? my wife went mental on cute little boy outfits but believe me stop buying things you get so much stuff, he is knitted out until he's 12 months and has at least 2 changes of clothes a day lol


----------



## KDJay

Oh divas we are def goin to find out, have a gender scan booked for Tuesday - my mum has come up from Wales to come with us. I have 7 nieces so they all want a boy haha!


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## Divas212

Oh you'll have to let us know KD!! Exciting!! Have you thought about names yet?! X


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Hi you guys, tentative BFP for me!


----------



## Divas212

Wow many congratulations Sarah 😊


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## poppy05

congratulations sarah


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## Elerifairy

Fab news Sarah!!


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## SillyWrong

Oh my gosh Sarah I'm so happy for you! Aargh how exciting!

Did you carry your son?


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## KDJay

Omfg sarah!!!!! So happy for u that's great news xxxx


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## Kirstie713

Fab news Sarah


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## sarahsuperdork

Thank you, very excited but not quite at OTD yet. Tested yesterday and again today though, looking good so far and so happy. I did carry our son yes SillyWrong. My eggs and oven. 

KD enjoy the scan on Tuesday, hope LO behaves so you get to see if you'll be welcoming a he or a she!

Divas hope you're all settling in well at home now. 

Herts very sensible and level-headed of you to wait. I'm so impatient, I don't know if I'd be able to do that even knowing I would be better off. It'll be here before you know it. 

Hi and welcome 2mums.


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## peanut165

Sarah that's brilliant news!! Well done xx


----------



## Divas212

I'm pleased to say we have now been discharged from the midwifes care, little chunk is 8lb 12!! Also had the hv today, went over the useual! We're in dummy debate, we really don't want to use one but helps with sids and now I'm not breastfeeding anything that could help prevent sids i think is for the best but I know it's a nightmare getting them off the dirty dummy, my wife hates dummies but we'll see! Our little monkey likes to suck his hands so if it's not dummy I seriously think he'll be a thumb sucker!! He's so cute 😊


----------



## mrsww

Divas, glad you're little one is doing well. We used a dummy in the early weeks, I prefer them to thumbs. But my daughter naturally transitioned to not having one a few weeks ago, she's nearly five months now. We only used them if she was finding it hard to settle, she rarely fell asleep with it and it was handy for car rides (which she still screams in). We are coming up to weaning and I'm a little excited to explore real food but a little sad to say bye to milk only feeds. She is the most adorable person and a real social butterfly. 

Hope everyone else is doing well. This time last year I'd just had my first scan and had seen first blurry photo of our daughter.


----------



## Divas212

Mrsww - we tried it last night.... What a nightmare, every time it come out he screamed nobody had sleep in our house 😁 Dunno if he was just having a restless night or if dummy dropping disturbed him....


----------



## 2mums1978

Herts85- thank you 😊

KDJay- I've started on folic acid, would you recommend pregnacare? This bit is all new to me. We are hoping to try IUI first, we understand the stats but we are prepared to have IVF after 3 attempts. I'm hoping all my results come back clear as up till now I've had normal fertility results


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## Divas212

So we have registered little monkey today but we're a bit disappointed, as I'm birth mummy i'v been put as mother but my wife has been put as farther 😞 Why isn't it just parent 1 and parent 2? What are others experiences?


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## 2mums1978

Diva- really? I'm shocked!!!! I thought they would have caught up by now


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## Elerifairy

That's appalling! Is that the norm? I'd refuse to register (sorry I get quite ranty about things like this!) the registrar apologised when we upgraded to marriage that the marriage certificates were outdated compared to the CP certificate because they only ask for fathers occupation. 
2 mums we're going through iui. Counting this as go 2 as the first 3 could never have worked. I've found superdrug pregnancy care to be the cheapest and all same vits as pregnacare (slightly higher if some things lower of others but all 100% of rda). Been taking pregnacare for about two years now dream to think how much we've spent!


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## Divas212

We assume it's the norm..... I don't quite know how to sort it out either, going to have to google and address it properly but need sleep first.... Quite discriminatory.... And rather upsetting for my wife! 😞


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## sarahsuperdork

Oh, no, there's another version they can use - it says "mother" and "parent", not father. DW is "parent" on A's birth certificate. It may be that the registrar didn't know because they hadn't been in that situation before. Ours said it was the first time for her and had to look it up. I'm sure you can get it changed, please don't be offended, I'd imagine they just didn't know. After all, the vast majority of families are male/female partnerships to be fair.


----------



## mrsww

Divas, how upsetting. My wife is "other parent" on birth certificate and on passport information.  It can't be right, I'd be approaching your MP to get it sorted. Hope you're getting some sleep, mu daughter had horrid nights for just over three months, lack go sleep is terrible


----------



## Divas212

Sarah and mrsww- thanks for your responses, I thought it can't be right, so I just rang them and spoke to someone lovely on the phone and he openly admitted that yes the registrar had made a mistake but it's the same one that has to sort it out and they will phone me back... I was all ready for spouting off the equality act!! Anyhow looks like it'll be sorted but it really has upset my wife 😬 After absolutely no sleep it's not a nice experience!! Little monkey appears to be nocturnal ha


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## sarahsuperdork

These things always seem more complicated and upsetting when lack of sleep is involved. I think it's easy to get all up in arms for the gay cause when things like this happen but when you take a step back, you can see that these things happen and it isn't a case of discrimination. It's relatively new to have the option of "parent" on a birth certificate (as far as I know) and if you live in a town anything like mine, it would be very unlikely that your registrar will have come across your situation before.


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## Divas212

Sarah - I think your right!! Deffo lack of sleep involved and to be honest if we wasn't so tired we'd have probably sorted it out there and then, but in all honesty little man was due a feed, we were both shattered and hungry (bad combination) hopefully they will ring us back tomorrow but if not we'll ring them 😊 Feeling a bit better about it now and it's thanks to you guys we're getting it sorted sooner rather than later, we'll be laughing about it in a few weeks I'm sure x


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## 2mums1978

Elerifairy- thanks for the advice, I'll have a look in superdrug this week. Fingers crossed for you... I see from your bio you had another attempt in March? 😊 
We are paying privately too, expensive but it will be worth every penny if it works. If you don't mind me asking how come there was no chance the first 3 couldn't work?


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## Elerifairy

Don't mind at all. First 3 were unmedicated, as all we were funded for, and each time at my first scan (day 7 or  I had a follicle about 15/16mm, it grew over a couple of days to 17/18 so they assumed it was ready and got me to trigger and have iui. Mentioned I had low estrogen but said it could just be my bodies natural level. Did more monitoring 3rd Cycle and agreed to let me go a few more days. Follicle never grew bigger than 17 but estrogen went up a little. 
1st medicated cycle things seemed to be going exactly the same way so I had a mini meltdown (as thought the whole point of the drugs was we could make things go better!) my wife managed to get the doc to speak to us and he agreed was probably a persistent follicle so upped the meds and finally got a different follie to grow and fab estrogen levels and lining (previously best lining was 7.5 and estrogen 320, this time lining 12.5 and estrogen 720!)
So basically we were trying to impregnate a cyst! 
Started this go with a baseline scan (which could have solved all our issues earlier!) and sure enough 16mm follie was there day 2 (along with a 12mm friend!) but at least we know what's going on now! 
Phew that was an essay and a half! Hope it makes sense!


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## KDJay

Just got home stuffed from a celebratory meal after finding out we are having ... A girl 💗


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## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations KD!!


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## KDJay

Thank u, we are over the moon!


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## poppy05

yay fab news kd, so happy for you both xx


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## Elerifairy

Awww fab news Kd and so many cute outfits!!


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## Herts85

Sarahsuperdork -      How exciting! I was really hoping this cycle worked for you! X

KDJay -   Congratulations! At least she'll have lots of playmates with all your nieces! X

Divas - as others have said there is definitely another form, chances are the registrar just didn't have a clue. Hope you get it sorted x

Hope everyone else is doing great xx


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## Divas212

Awwwww congratulations KD a little girl awwww, so you was right to be buying the girl clothes then.... Our little dude has decided that 4.30 is Wakey up time lol is grunting away here, so cute but preferably in a few more hours please mister lol


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## KDJay

Thank you everyone! I called my eldest two nieces (18 & 20) and they were so excited which is lovely - I rang my sister in law and she said 'yay you can have all my crap now' haha. Just need to think of names as all the names we like have been boys names -  open to any suggestions from you lot for girl names! 

Divas - I couldn't believe it when I read your post yesterday but I'm glad it doesn't sound like a struggle to sort it out , let us know what they say today xxxx


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## Divas212

KD- will do and can you believe it, little monkey soon went back to sleep and only just woke up!! His mummies are all refreshed 😊 Clever little beautiful boy!! Girls names top of our list was Lucy, Emily and phoebe...., we also found boys names easier x


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## sarahsuperdork

I love Aurora for a girl but DS is Auron so it's a no.


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## Divas212

So we've had a phone call from registrars office, it not just a simple solution of getting it changed, because he has effectively been registered wrong they have to write a report and it has to go to the head office for them to investigate, apparently the registrar is upset she made the mistake but they have to follow procedures now. Also the registrar is now off until Tuesday so nothing can be sorted this week. It appears it's a huge deal and had we not enquired we'd have been none the wiser... So massive thanks to you guys on here, looks like it will be sorted just going to take some time it appears, which now means we ant apply for his child benefit yet as he is registered wrong but thats not really a major issue to us just an annoyance..... Apparently the registrar said she pressed the wrong button 😬 Ah well just glad my wife won't be down as farther x


----------



## dolly132

Hi Ladies

I've just had a lot of reading to catch up on - that will teach me to disappear for the board for a few weeks!

I have just started a new 2ww. I'm feeling calmer and more relaxed this time round. We did 2 inseminations with our known donor this time rather than just one as we were a bit more organised with my ovulation. Otd 5th april


----------



## 2mums1978

Elerifairy- wow!!!! It sounds like a nightmare start, I'm glad things are looking so much more promising for you. Do you think you are better off private then? I really worry being 37 that I don't want to waste time so to speak so feel like paying (although it's a blooming fortune) will give us a better start?


----------



## SillyWrong

KD - I'm so excited for your little pink news!  Oh MAN I want to know what we're having, but i equally want that surprise on the day.  I'm going to have to be so disciplined!

Divas - it's a real shame you both had to go through that when registering should be something to celebrate - I hope they redeem themselves and sort it out for you though!  Give that little A a squidge from me!

Dolly - hope this is your time and 2ww flys by!

Sarah - have you become a serial tester!?  Are they getting darker?  I love your little boys name, it's really lovely.  

AFM - not much really!  Had our booking in, we have our "12" week scan at 13+1 on 6th Apr, feeling so incredibly anxious about whether LO is still alive, but I guess the anxiety is to be expected after what we've been through.  We're looking at booking a holiday for next year!  So exciting, having to search out all the baby facilities too!  Baby will be around 6/7 months when it comes to it.


----------



## KDJay

Sillywrong - it is such an anxious time for you, I remember Divas I think saying to me that she found this stage hard and I agree but it does get better although at the time I thought I would feel that level of anxiety all the way through. 

Sarah - I love you lo's name! and lovely suggestion.


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## Divas212

KD - yeah it was tbh it was all anxious but thefirst12 weeks especially so until that first official scan up to 24 weeks then it moved to movement anxiety. It's not suprising at all but you know it's all worth it even without sleep lol little man is lay on his activity gym staring into the fireplace all entertained with shadows lol (fire not on and we're watching his every move!! Our dog has just shown his first interest in him so extra vigilance x


----------



## Elerifairy

Hi all, Just a quick update to say I'm now officially PUPO yet again! 3wks until clinics official test date which will put us in the middle of our Barcelona trip! 
Clinging on to the hope that there are lots of positive, like we got inseminated on my mums birthday, it's easter and due date will be Christmas and test date is 16/4/16. The things we cling on to hey?!


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## Herts85

Happy Easter! 

Sarahsuperdork - I saw a post of yours on a different thread, congratulations I'm guessing you're officially past otd now? Well done Pierre!  x

Elerifairy - fingers crossed for you, Easter should be a good omen, it's all about eggs!   x

Dolly132 - good luck to you too, hope the 2ww goes quickly for you x

Sillywrong - I'm sure it's a lovely surprise if you can wait but equally it must be amazing bonding if you know in advance! A friend of mine didn't find out but suspected a boy as all her scan photos were waist up and sure enough it was a boy! X

KDJay - I'm sure you have got a lot more dresses now! How is the name search going? Do you think you will have a shortlist then decide when she's here or will you know before she arrives? X

Divas212 - hope you're having a great time making lovely memories with A  x

2mums - I think from what people have said if you can manage privately then it massively speeds things along. We have time on our side (ish!) so went through the NHS process but it has been really slow. Good luck! X


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck Elerifairy  I didn't realise you still called it PUPO when you have IUI. 

2mums it can be worth going private to avoid the wait but it's worth bearing in mind that in many areas, private cycles you have are knocked off any NHS entitlement. So if you were entitled to 2 cycles of IVF, for example, in your area and had 1 private cycle, you would then only get 1 NHS cycle funded. Worth looking into. 

Good luck for your scan SillyWrong, not too long to wait now.

dolly hope your 2ww is going ok, good luck for OTD.

Thanks Herts, hope you're well, we got our official BFP yesterday. Due 29th November!


----------



## Kirstie713

Hi ladies hope everyone is well  

Congrats Sarah


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## Divas212

Herts - thank you and we are, little A was all dressed in bunny ears yesterday with plenty pics taken, he looks extremely cute!! He's started with baby acne so along with his stalk marks on his eye lids and forehead he looks like he's done 10 rounds with Tyson lol he's absolutely adorable though and we had him in his very cute lamb outfit!! Nana and uncle spoilt him rotten with a new outfit and eggs for us and grandma already stocking up the Xmas presents for him lol!! Bit of a busy week the week ahead my wife has assignments due in and needs to order her new car but first we are going shopping today if we ever make it out the house ha had a lazy morning!! Hope everyone has had a lovely Easter and are feeling as lucky as we are 😊👩‍👩‍👦


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## 2mums1978

Hello all, hope you have had a good Easter break! 

eleridairy- what does PUPO mean? Does this mean you've had IUI? I'm rubbish at the lingo haha!
Herts85- we've been having my checks via NHS but unlikely we will get treatment but just getting tests done has taken a lifetime or so it feels! We are saving all we can to go private, not easy but I hope it's worth it one day! What stage are you at? 
Sarahsuperdork- CONGRATULATIONS!!


----------



## BeeO

Hi all

Happy Easter everyone. I’ve been reading the blog for some weeks and have finally decided to take the plunge and join in the conversation.

A bit about me, history is in my footnote and we’re currently 3 weeks post BFP (!!) from a FET. 1st scan booked for 6th April (same as you Sillywrong). I’m very anxious because in our last cycle we discovered at the scan we had an empty sac, horrid. I’ve been doing a test every week to check I’m still pregnant…

Divas - Congratulations on your gorgeous baby. It’s so inspiring to hear from someone going through it - and learning from you - ie on registration process.

Dolly - good luck for the 2ww, it’s tough so stay busy but take it easy. 

Elerifairy - good luck till test date!  

Sarah - congratulations on your BFP! 

2mums - my partner and I have had a mx of NHS and private. I qualify for NHS as I’m under 40. It has been a long and slow progress and I really saw the difference to the private cycle. Essentially you’re buying time as your private cycle is done to fit your schedule, no need to wait 3months for a follow up appointment (as was my experience with NHS). Mostly everything else has been the same. If you can afford it, go private but it’s VERY expensive - and of course there are no guarantees, as we found. Ultimately investigate your local NHS entitlement and any impact of a private cycle as Sarah said. Good luck! Oh PUPO is Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise ;o)

Hi to everyone else.


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## KDJay

Beeo welcome and big congrats!!! It's a very tense time u are going through I'm only just now starting to relax and enjoy although when I feel guilty for doing so I just think worrying is not going to change anything so just going to go for it. Been Pinteresting nursery ideas!


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## Herts85

Sarah - so pleased for you, completely deserved after everything you've gone through so far and a really lovely gap between A and 'Pierre' x

Hi kirstie - hope things are going well for you, what stage are you at with treatment? X

Divas - sounds lush, have you been taking a million photos of him? I have a phone full of food and cat photos so think I would be borderline crazy with baby photos! X

2mums - sounds like you're doing everything right. We had our checks on the NHS, actually started in September 2014 but had a fair few admin delays along the way, I had a HyCoSy, Lao & dye procedure done privately but with the same consultant (he did NHS and private) and was referred for IVF funding from that. We encountered crazy delays due to the clinic being administratively poor, not encountering many same sex couples and being very new to the world of NHS funding. (I'm a little bitter, can you tell!?   ) due to this we are now waiting until May/June to start as I will have better maternity pay then but it's frustrating waiting! We get two cycles plus donor sperm funded which is awesome but it's been tough dealing with the system/clinic  x

BeeO - welcome and congratulations! X

KDJay - I love Pinterest. So lethal though! X


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## Divas212

Beeo- thank you and congratulations, welcome to the gang!!

Herts- there has been literally hundreds of photos, my wife is quite into photography so she's done lots of newborn shots and many many day to day pics, he's changed so much in 3 weeks it's incredible!! He had got huge chubby cheeks now as he's a bit of a milk monster haha we are yet to do the nappy shots, not sure he will like that 😂!!


----------



## 2mums1978

Welcome Beeo, and congratulations on your BFP.... It's all such a minefield isn't it, so costly and stressful but forrunately I have a sensible partner who calms me down when I worry too much! We are mmcrazy saving and see how things go after a nice holiday in June 😊

Herts85- fingers crossed for you when you start. We don't want to go private but I just feel being 37 I want to start as soon as possible and with the best chances, I'm a bit scared of time passing 😕 I changed GP as the one I had never had dealt with 'lesbians wanting babies' as she put it and said she didn't know where to start (I'm not bitter either haha) 

Diva212 it sounds like wonderful motherly bliss every time I see your posts 😍 Enjoy every minute


----------



## Divas212

2mums - I can honestly say it's not all bliss....in fact I would say we were so under prepared for what it'd be like to be mummies, it's hard and a bit of a shock how much a tiny human changes your life overnight!! That said we've waiting so long for these moments and somehow making it work, it's all been trial and error and we are working so hard together my wife has been amazing but totally annoying when she sleeps and I don't but vice versa lol plus the dog has decided to have an ear infection! His timing is impeccable! Vets tomorrow! X


----------



## KDJay

Divas  I totally love hearing about your days too

2mums - if u was you and it is an option I would totally go private but I panic about time passing , how are all your general fertility tests? We thought my dp would use her eggs first but when we found out my results at only 30 I realised I didn't have time on my side either xxx


----------



## Divas212

Thanks KD!! Today has been a good day, because we've both managed to get some sleep the night before in fact I slept in until dinner!! I do most of the night feeds and my wife does the early morning 5.30 - 6.00 and useually takes him downstairs so I can catch up!! My wife had to juggle getting ready in the middle of a feed to be dressed in time for shopping delivery (online food shop is a must these days) she sorted the shopping mixed with locking the dog out so he didn't eat the delivery guy or wake the baby.... A miracle if you ask me, she put it all away and baby didn't wake until she sat down with a brew (as always) she spent a lovely morning with him after that and then went to test drive her new car, big posh family car that she's very excited about ordering it tomorrow... Then we all went for a lovely walk.... It's the small things like getting little dude to do a burp that are like little fist pump moments!! By the way I had absolutely no idea how much newborns trump!! Sir trump a lot (the dog) has met his match! Ha it's great but gee so so tired, I dread my wife going back to work but I'm sure we'll manage 😬


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## 2mums1978

Diva212- im so sure it's overwhelming and from what I hear things change so rapidly in the first few months it can be bedlam and bliss all at the same time... Oh dear, hope the pooch is ok.... Just what you need, but the furry babies don't stop being babies though do they! 

KDJAY- I get my general results back on Monday so fingers crossed its good news. My partner has quite severe PCOS and hasn't had the desire to carry but would if I couldn't , I'm 37 and touch wood no fertility issues that have been found so far... But the age thing really worries me. We've priced up IUI and IVF and just need results to make a more informed decision on what we do.


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## Herts85

Good evening lovelies,

I'm back from a couple of days on Cardiff, was nice to do something a bit different and was the perfect mix of business and pleasure!

Divas - love hearing about your daily life, it's like you give us access to the bits people forget to tell you about. Hope sir trump a lot (  ) isn't feeling too threatened by A's windy bottom! X

2mums - I think you're entirely right. Had anything more sinister come to light on my tests we would have definitely looked at other options. Luckily my afc came back high and all the blood tests were good. The waiting has been tough and if it was any longer we would have gone elsewhere too but thankfully we seem to have cracked that. Hopefully your results are good next week x

KDJay - I assumed you used your eggs as they were the younger ones. Did do have better eggs then yours? It would make sense to use yours first then I guess although the ones you have seemed to have worked well! X

Hope everyone else is fine. I'm sure they're are a few otd's and scans next week so fingers crossed for those! Xx


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## KDJay

Herts - we did use my eggs because they were younger and because the stats were so much better at my age compared to dp but I wasn't in so much of a rush until I heard my amh which the consultant wasn't at all worried about because he said the most important factor is the age of the eggs and as it happened I responded really well to stims so he was right. Also using my eggs meant we could egg share xxx


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## BeeO

Hi ladies, 

Can I check something with you? I've been waking up absolutely starving, like feeling weak and shaky kind of hunger - I've even woken up in the night cos of hunger. I'm now taking snacks u to bed so I can eat as soon as I wake up. I don't have any other symptoms other than starving hunger. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?


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## sarahsuperdork

Bee I am always hungry so maybe not an accurate comparison


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## SillyWrong

Hi all! I've been awol for a while, I have my head buried in the sand and my breath held as I wait for the scan next week.  i have never known anxiety like it!  I feel horrible.  I'm trying really hard to think positive though.  I have made a promise to myself that if everything is OK at the scan, I am changing my attitude and ENJOYING the rest of this pregnancy!

Divas, sounds like you are getting in to the swing of things - it takes a while.  Everyone I've ever known as a first time mum has had a few weeks of adjustment while they work out what they're doing!  You'll be grand when Mrs goes back to work, just remember to get organised while she's there - a shower in the morning before she goes, perhaps make extra dinner in the evening and have left overs for lunch the next day to make sure you're eating properly - even little things like making sure you have your phone charger where you need it and a stock of nappies to hand so you're not up and down the stairs knackering yourself out all day!  Hope wee A is getting on well, give him squishes from us!

Beeo, yes yes yes, I was STARVING when I woke up and still am sometimes.  My lovely wife still gets up to get me breakfast as soon as our alarms go off, it's a nice little morning routine we have going on!

Sarah, how many weeks/days are you now? Got your date for your viability scan?  How are you feeling?

Hope everyone's doing well.  I'll try to do better with keeping up. x


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## SillyWrong

PS - Sarah, who's Pierre!?


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## SillyWrong

PPS, tee hee, we're on page 69.


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## KDJay

Silly Wrong - good to hear from you! Is your scan next week your 12 week scan? I can completely understand where you are coming from, I have never known anxiety like it too - I found it really hard to concentrate and after every scan/milestone I would say I will realx now but then there are just other things like movements etc! My Dp has felt little pochohontus loads today which is lovely. We have completed on our house and as soon as we walked in she went mad! haha. Found out today my recipient was not successful - really gutted for her


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## Divas212

Silly - she leaves for work at 5.30am, as much as I love to be clean ha I ain't having a shower at that hour but I get what you mean, it's because her days are so long I worry as she isn't home until 10pm if she gets home at all, overnight on calls, but that said she usually does 3- 4 days with a 48 hour weekend on call every few weeks! We'll adjust as we have already, it's hard but it's amazing at the same time 😊 We're enjoying him so much 😊 
Pup on the other had has been to the vets with his ears, excessive build up of ear wax due to stress apparently bless him, we think he's building up the wax to make him deaf to the screaming lol, the pup can't possibly be beaten on the stinky trumps but little A beats him on the noisy ones 😂😂 think they have a little boys club going on!! To be fair the dog has been so good with A but very clingy to the wife so, we're going to have to get him used to her not being here so special attention from me..., he's still our baby too, first born fury baby lol! I hope I don't come across as all negative as it's not meant like that it's just harder than expected 😊👩‍👩‍👦 oh and i'v given A loads of snuggles off you guys!! Good luck with the scan I'm sure it'll be fine!!

KD - exciting times completing, when is baby due now? It can't be too long can it? X


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck for your scan SillyWrong! Totally get the anxiety. Pierre is what we named our embryo.  5+2 today, scan booked for the 12th. 

Sounds like you're having a great time Divas.


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## mrsww

Since my little one is five months I go to a group every day. I usually talk about my "partner" but don't say out right I'm gay. Partly because no one else has to announce they're Herero but also I'm worried about negative reactions. I'm not sure what to do to overcome it but feel I need to work on it as I want my daughter to grow up knowing her family has two mummies and that's ok and normal. The group I was at today we were talking about having another and I said it most likely be possible because we had IVF, and I didn't know quite what to say someone said it could happen, I just said my partner has no sperm. Anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this?  

We've just started giving my daughter food and she loves it. She's just five months and so far her favs are banana, melon and cucumber and spinach went down well tonight. Just sticking to fruit and vegetables at the moment. Gosh the early weeks were tough but she is amazing now such a happy personality. 

Hope everyone is well wherever on their journey they are.


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## sarahsuperdork

I just come right out and say it the first time I meet people, mrsww. I don't make a big deal out of it, it's more like in conversation "oh my wife likes baking too" or "my wife and I got married in August" etc. I let the penny drop and the conversation moves on - you'd be surprised how little a thing it is. When you know someone for a bit longer, they start to ask questions out of curiosity but I've never had a negative reaction yet. If you normalise it by talking normally about it, strangers will usually follow your lead. It's not that it'll never be awkward - sometimes I feel really awkward - but I find better to get it out there early and relax.


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## Herts85

Haha I'm so glad someone else was juvenile enough to point out we're on page 69. I was sniggering about it as soon as I looked on and saw it!  

KDJay - yay, happy new house day, so glad you got it sorted in time and it sounds like little one approves! Sorry to hear your recipient wasn't successful. Do you know whether she has frosties to try a fet? X

BeeO - any excuse to eat sounds good to me, I love food! Hope it's a good sign for you x

Sillywrong - good to hearing things are going well. I think a lot of ladies struggle to enjoy pregnancy before 12 weeks anyway and especially when they've had experiences in the past or a struggle to get there. Fingers crossed your scan is amazing and you can relax and enjoy your growing baby! X

Divas - poor fur baby, hope he is ok when dw is back at work. I can see why you're apprehensive about it, you really will be fending for yourself all day rather than the standard 9-5 or thereabouts. X

Mrsww - I'm with Sarah on the whole coming out/ta-dab I'm here and queer moment. I usually get it out early doors and then work on dazzling with my personality! Haha! I supposed at least it's an interesting thing for someone to learn about you! Your little one sounds fab, such an exciting age - all the new experiences and so many to come in the next few months! X

Sarah - hope you're managing to keep hunger pangs at bay. Do you have a scan date yet? Bet you can't wait to see Pierre again! X


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## Divas212

Mrs ww- I agree with Sarah and Herts, come right out with it, coz it isn't a big deal.... My wife told the car salesman yesterday on a test drive ha turned out his 15 year old daughter had just come out and they spent the whole time discussing that as opposed to the hard sell with the car 😂 Lovely bloke by all accounts just wanted to be able to support his daughter 😊 And she went back and ordered her fancy pants big family car lol obviously it's full of gadgets, my wife is such a geek!! Haha x


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## Divas212

I might add the convo came about as she said we'd just had a baby and had been putting off the test drive as I'd had a section and needed support n didn't wanna leave me....too cute but didn't stop her going back today to sign on dotted line lol


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## KDJay

Mrs ww - I agree with the others, I don't think a day goes by when I don't say to people "she something or other" or "my gf" or "my gf is pregnant" I literally think nothing of it at all, I prefer to say gf rather than partner Becuase it's just out there then that's she's female. I think ppl would find it more awkward that they hadn't been put straight from the start xxx


----------



## mrsww

Thanks so much for the advice. I will  practice saying wife etc instead of non descript partner. I'm just worried about a negative reaction but in way if someone's going to be negative then it's better to happen early on when meeting someone and then can part ways. And I really need to work on my confidence for my daughters sake. Since coming out I've had a few negative comments from so called friends so am a bit sensitive about the whole declaring sexuality.


----------



## KDJay

Mrs ww - I was going to say it sounds like you have had a negative experience in the past that's made you feel cautious , like u say if someone is negative you wouldn't want you and your child to be around them anyway. However I think you will be surprised, I have never had any negative comments, neither has my gf. My gf's contribution to this convo was 'where does she live? F*cking Hicksville?!' Haha


----------



## Elerifairy

My wife is always teasing me that I come out to people quickly, she definitely plays the pronouns game much more (they, partner etc).
I work with teenagers and think it's so important for them to see that being gay is not a big deal so I don't even think about it and talk about my wife openly.
I find it much more awkward if it comes out later or someone assumes and I have to correct them - you always get a really awkward apology, like they are saying I'm sorry you're gay!


----------



## SillyWrong

mrsww, I know exactly how you feel, for years I used to feel nervous to say it out loud, I don't know why but I just did.  I think it got much easier when I got married because it's easier to say 'wife' than 'girlfriend' (I always think girlfriend can get mixed up with girl 'friend'!) Now I don't think twice about referring to my wife, and honestly, 99% of the time there isn't even a blink of a reaction, the only reaction I've ever had is where the other person is clearly feeling awkward about it and then says "oh, that's great, brilliant, you're really brave, excellent, a wife, great, yeah!" while turning red! 

... however, and I hope you take this in the way it's intended, I think you have a responsibility now to make it something that isn't to be worried about or afraid of, to completely normalise it for the sake of your children, who will also have to tell people as she grows up, and will follow your example of how to handle it.  So start practising, you'll be pleasantly surprised by peoples non-reactions.  Also, assuming you'd like to make mum friends, you will find it harder to if you've not been honest, because you'll find yourself watching everything you say in front of them and won't be able to relax.

Good luck


----------



## 2mums1978

Mrsww I agree with all of the above, it is hard but like has already been said better to get it out there. I work with teenagers too and used to feel guarded but as much as I don't share personal details when they refer to my 'boyfriend' I always correct them and say girlfriend. Same with work colleagues and anyone we meet. 
The sooner referring to our girlfriends, fiancée' and wives's is seen as normal then the better it will be for children born to 2 mums! 
Be brave 😊


----------



## KDJay

So true 2mums!


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## Divas212

So true silly and 2mums, the more we normalise it the better as it isn't an issue to most, I think it's the historical reactions that can make it a bit daunting though! That said the more people get to know people for who they are as opposed to the category sociaty likes to put people in the better... 😊


----------



## sarahsuperdork

It is hard and it can be daunting. For me it's not the worry about negative opinions because I've not had much experience of that - thankfully. It's more about the awkwardness when people don't know what to say and they overcompensate by making a big happy clappy deal about it when I just wish they'd be normal. I remember when the health visitor came to introduce herself before A was born and saw we were obviously a same-sex couple. She was all "Oh that's GREAT! A two-parent family, how WONDERFUL oh that's just lovely, great!". We're not in an area with a huge amount of one-parent families; it was just an awkward comment because she couldn't be bloody normal about it. I don't want people to wave their banners for us, I just want it to fall into conversation like it's nothing, because it *should* be nothing.


----------



## mrsww

I'm so glad I asked it here now as have been mulling over it for quite a while. It was my mother who had the strongest negative reaction with comments such as "but you won't be able to have babies", "why didn't you say you liked girls" etc. I asked if my brother and sister had come out as hetero. She is ok now and loves my daughter. Others who've been negative live all over the world as I've traveled a lot. We also live in a very multi ethnic community and I've not yet met any same sex couples. I'm very thankful that all health care professionals haven't blinked their eyes. I know I need to change for my daughter and I need to do so now while she is so young. I just want to be like its normal and could never work out how to just say it but there's plenty of advice above so will start practicing.


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## Herts85

Mrsww - you've definitely had lots of advice and I can completely see why you're a bit apprehensive about it. That said I do feel there is almost a duty on us to speak up and demonstrate that being gay is normal. There will always be a situation where we don't speak up for whatever reason (a taxi ride after a business trip where the driver made some homophobic comments and I was too tired/scared to correct him springs to mind) but being visible shows that we have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Off topic slightly but there's a fab song by A Great Big World called 'Everyone is gay' which sums this situation up, cracks me up every time! X

Divas - hope the new car is as practical and it is space age and that you can drive it ok! X

KDJay - your gf's reaction  x

Elerifairy - I know what you mean about the apologising, it's so weird! I'd rather get it out of the way - I think 'they' 'their' and 'them' makes it sound like you're in an ménage a tois situation! X

Sillywrong - you're right about the relaxing, I was on a work course recently which said closeted people are up to 70% less productive in the workplace due to the stress of hiding their partner, gender neutral terms etc. x

Sarah - it's true, I think Ellen page said that as thrilled as she was about the positive coverage of her coming out she looked forward to the day when it wouldn't even make the news that a celebrity came out x


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## SillyWrong

Oh but did you see Ellen Page's coming out speech? It had me sobbing! So inspiring!


----------



## RainbowMum

*waves*

Think it's time to join here too now that my 'parenting club' has become a bit quieter....

My partner(36) and I (33) have been together for 7 years now and have got an almost 2 year old daughter, hopefully this summer we're going to start treatment for baby number 2. 

MrsWW, I'm still a bit awkward about it but it's easy enough to 'come out' at Toddler Groups when people ask about my partner and what 'he' does, then I correct them. 
I'm trying to be a bit more open about it after my last nanny employers did not take it easy that I 'hid' my relationship from them until I announced my pregnancy at 21 weeks.


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## RainbowMum

I had a similar reaction to SSD where our Health Visitor was overly friendly when she came to meet us("oh how great") and then put me in touch with another same sex family in our town. It was by request of this other family but still...

Turns out that 16 months later, our girls are best friends and will hopefully attend the same nursery school when they turn 3, so there will be at least 2 same sex families in their year


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## Herts85

Sillywrong - yeah, it was pretty emotional and so articulate. I love her though, she's such a great ambassador for gay people and just quietly getting on with her life! X

Rainbowmum - welcome, we are a little quiet here too at the moment I'm afraid although it is a great bunch of people. Congratulations on your little one and how exciting that you are going for number 2! Will you carry again or is your gf going to this time? X


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## KDJay

Welcome rainbow mum - I read your post yesterday and mentally replied in my head! Your lo looks so cute! It's good that she has a little friend to start nursery - I think it is good our little one will have lots of friends with same sex parents as they will be able to talk to each other as peers in the future if they need to and also we we able to learn from our friends experiences when certain situations arise for instance one of our friends was told she wasn't allowed to sign the consent for her little boy when he was having an op even though she is on his birth certificate and they wanted her wife to do it and also talk of donors etc. 

Afm - sitting on the floor of the soon to be nursery in our new home and feel very at home, had a little melt down this morning as i miss my dad so much who passed away a year ago and he would have sorted all the issues in the house out so a little overwhelmed without him, poor dp is trying to make me laugh to cheer me up xxx


----------



## Ask1980

Hi Everyone, I've been having a read and figured I would come and join in if that's okay! I'm 21+4 with a baby boy due August 10th.


----------



## BeeO

Hi all

mrsww - Thanks for sharing your anxieties about being a lgbt family, it's certainly something I'm thinking about too and wondering how to deal with it. I'm very happily openly gay and have no issues telling people I'm gay. Totally agree with everyone else, we have to normalise it for others to follow our lead. However, I'm not sure how to tackle the baby issue (fingers crossed BFP stays the course!) I've got the added cultural dimension...I'm Nigerian (as is my partner) and there are lots of cultural practices related to new babies - bathing the baby, naming ceremony etc etc I want to do them all but I don't know how my wish will be received   

rainbowmum - Wonderful your daughter has a playmate to start nursey with. I'm hoping being in london the healthcare professionals will be 'used to' lgbt families. Saying that I had a weird encounter with one of the nurses who missed the same sex note on my file and told me she couldn't see me without my husband and was totally flumoxed when I told her I didn't have one?! Dozey mare  

KD - congratulations on moving in, stressful at the best of times and sorry about your dad. I'm sure he left you a strong diy legacy so you know what you're doing.  

Hi Ask1980 - welcome and congratulations!

afm - counting the seconds to my scan on Wednesday...


----------



## SillyWrong

Hi RainbowMum - what a gorgeous LO you have!  And welcome to the group.  Lovely bunch of ladies here though conversation does seem to have slowed down a bit!  What are your plans for trying for baby#2?

It's funny you should mention about being friends with other SS parents, we had this exact conversation this morning on the way to work!  My wife has an old uni friend who has an adoptive son with her wife who we saw over the weekend, and I have some friends who have twins together, they aren't people we necessarily saw a great deal of before but we'd like to make more of an effort now that we have something in common, plus we agreed it would be nice for all our kids to know other kids with SS parents too, to help normalise it a bit (mind you, we live in Manchester, I expect there'll probably be lots of other kids from SS families in their class!)

KD, I am stunned that your friend went through that with their son - I would have taken some serious action if I was treated like that!  I really feel for you having lost your dad at this really important stage of your life.  I'm also really close to my dad and just can't imagine.  Aw, sending you some awkward weirdy internet hugs! x

Hi Ask, congratulations on your incoming boy 

BeeO, I can imagine it must be really difficult wanting to follow your cultural traditions if your culture doesn't accept you for who you are.  I bet there must be, somewhere in the country, a group set up for gay nigerian people? Alternatively, could you just include some friends who are more accepting of you in your ceremony?  Teach them a little about your culture while you're at it?  I know for sure if I had a friend with cultural traditions I would love to learn and be a part of it for them. 

I am also counting the seconds down til Wednesday.  Also terrified of it though  BeeO what time is your scan?  is it your 7 or 12 week one?


----------



## 2mums1978

Morning all 😀 Just returned from our results appointment with the consultant and all results have come back really positive! It was all a bit of a teary blurr for me and DP as I was expecting them to say my hormones were all out of sync with being 37, turns out all is good. Scans and bloods all normal 👍 I'm not sure which way round but LH and FSH were 8.1 and 4.2?? I don't know which was which though and didn't ask the wuestions I needed to! Consultant was just lovey though and said she will answer questions as and when we need them


----------



## 2mums1978

Oh and progesterone is 47? No idea what that means either lol!


----------



## KDJay

Congrats 2mums on your good news , the fsh is prob the higher number - what's the next step for you now? Are you funded? 

Silly - thank you for your virtual hugs, I was also very very close to my dad , we were each other's world but I am lucky that I didn't take it for granted so we have years of amazing memories as I didn't ever want to have any regrets. Not long now for your scan!!!! Xxx


----------



## KDJay

Beeo - welcome and congrats, good luck for your scan on Wednesday - hopefully you will be pleasently surprised with how your wishes will be received , I'm also having a similar thoughts as I was raised catholic but obviously lapsed and don't want to bring my child into a church they are not welcome as they are but I have thought about whether we would christen our child in the Anglian church and Even would we want to do that anyway Xxx


----------



## Divas212

KD - my wife was also brought up as a Catholic and as controversial as it seems we think we want to bring our lo in a catholic or Church of England wherever will accept us as a family, we we organise it out stance will be well the church is supposed to be accepting of all... But that's a bring to cross a bit further down the line. I wouldn't say we are overly religious but we believe in a God and kinda think all religions have a crossover just different interpretations.... For this treatment I started injecting on holiday in isreal, on our wedding anniversary and we visited Jerusalem and Palestine and toured a lot of the holy land which was amazing. Busted sites sacred to all religions and coincidence or not it resulted in our little boy.... Don't get me wrong I hate the whole in acceptance in some religions but I like the morality and ethics so it's a balance for us (plus arguably better education) but like I say we shall see how it pans out x


----------



## Divas212

Sorry terrible typos hope you get the gist of what I was saying little dude had a rough night haha


----------



## 2mums1978

Hi KDJay- they will fund  us after we have had 6 attempts at IUI that we have to fund  as all my results are normal they would expect me to have been trying at inseminating first. I'm just over the moon that I am at least in the normal ranges. I've been dreading the results we are having a sunny holiday in 8 weeks and hope to start the ball rolling with Manchester fertility after that


----------



## SillyWrong

2mums ..... Eeeee, tres excited, our baby was made at Manchester Fertility!  Are you in Manchester?

Also, just noticed you said your consultant was a she, was it Dr Rao?  I LOVED her (and we saw quite a few Dr's at MFS) - she popped her head in when we went for our viability scan and came and gave me a massive hug and made me cry!


----------



## poppy05

Hey girls   
Gawd im so behind    sorry ive been awol, had a really rubbish week last week   
my sister in law is expecting twin boys (ivf) and she got taken into hospital on wed, she and the babies are fine, however twin 2 has a slight blockage in his umbilical cord, and the consultant wants to prepare her incase he needs to deliver extra early, so she had to go in for some steroid jabs to strengthen their lungs, all is fine, but we have been a little worried, she is 32 weeks this week, ive had my mum frantically knitting preemie hats and cardys just incase they need them, she bought them over today, and it made me cry seeing them, they are so so tiny, its hard to believe that a person could fit in them,    im hoping they stay put until shes at least 35 weeks.


then on thurs dw's car broke down, the RAC man "fixed" the problem, only 2 miles down the road she broke down again, and then the next RAC man tells her that an oil filter cant be "fixed" only replaced, so her engine had completly ceased, car went to scrap yard yesterday and we have had to buy her a new car!!!!   
and yes she is going through the complaints proceedure with RAC to hopefully get compensation.


And my final moan is that we still havent heard from the adoption agency!!! so im totally fed up, i got so drunk on sat night im surprised im not still hanging out my backside!    it was good to socialise and have fun though, even though i wanted to die yesterday!


I'm so sorry for the moany me post, i hope you are all ok? and welcome to the new ladies   


poppy xx


----------



## Herts85

KDJay - I'm piling into your and sillywrong's virtual internet hug (whilst being mindful of sw's bump of course!) so sorry sweets. There will be so many parts of you that were influenced by your dad and you will pass that on to your daughter so he will be present in her life. Hope that the nursery comes along quickly, must be exciting to think you will be putting your baby down to sleep in there in the future! X

Ask1980 - welcome, and congrats on your little boy! X

BeeO - how many weeks will you be at your scan? hope it all goes well x

Sillywrong - Fingers crossed everything is fine on Wednesday. Will be thinking of you and hoping you get some awesome scan pics of little one! X

2mums - glad that your results came back good and you know your next steps now! X

Divas - it must be hard that religion is something you want in your lives but who you are makes it harder to accepted. Hope A is doing ok despite keeping his mum up all night! X

Poppy - the night out sounds needed and good for the soul! Hopefully you will hear something soon! X

AFM - AF is awol which is not the end of the world but may throw our dates out for when we hope to start. Also I said once I get it I'm not drinking, taking bits, being good etc as it will be then 3 cycles until IVF. Since she's gone on hiatus I got a bit worse for wear on Saturday and partied way too hard! Will never learn! X


----------



## Herts85

OMG - I completely forgot to tell you guys what happened to me today. So I was in tesco with my GF, pushing a trolley, minding my own business and looking at a packet of nuts (of all things!   ) 

I looked up and there was GF chatting away to our Fertility consultant who was also in there shopping. We made small talk for a few minutes then went on our way. A few aisles later (by which point we were pondering toilet roll!) she said "that was a bit weird wasn't it?" And I replied, without looking up, "aye, especially considering he knows what the inside of my hoo-ha looks like!" Looked up and there he was again, clearly overheard me but was polite enough to just be like "hello again!" 

If there was a face palming emoji I'd be doing a lot of them right now! X


----------



## BeeO

Herts -  lol! thats hilarious! hehe!

poppy - hi, and sorry for your crappy week, seems you had a brilliant night out on Saturday, life is too short not to have a blow out now and then -  and think of the fun  picking a new car! Sorry the agency is being tardy, keep chasing them! And fingers crossed the twins stay snuggled in as long as possible. Loved the image of your mum pulling all night knitting sessions getting ready for their arrival lol.

2mums - that's great news, fingers x for you.

sillywrong - my appt is at 9:20 on Wednesday and its the 7week scan. I'm petrified tbh. I have no symptoms other than being hungry all the time so desperately want to find out what - if anything is happening inside. One more sleep to Wednesday!! When is yours?


----------



## dolly132

Morning ladies!

Today is our otd and I used a clearblue digital test and we got our   (I also tested with a super drug test as I didn't believe the clear blue and that's also come back bfp)

I'm so excited and don't know what to do with myself.


----------



## KDJay

Congrats dolly!!! X


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## poppy05

congratulations dolly xx


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## SillyWrong

Hey Poppy, sounds like it's been a rubbish week, hope it improves for you soon, preferably in the form of a lovely phone call from your social worker!

Herts, you're always welcome in on a virtual hug - you all are, come here everyone and lets hug!

BeeO, will be thinking of you tomorrow morning!  We're in at 11.10.  *shudder*

Dolly, congrats!  And by at home insem too, lucky old you!  Got a due date worked out yet  

hope everyone else is OK x


----------



## dolly132

KDJay and Poppy05 Thank you

Sillywrong- I really thought it was going to be a bfn today so was really shocked. Our donor is 24 and has a high sperm count so putting it down to that. I've worked out I'm due 9th December so an early Christmas present. My niece is going to be very excited as her birthdays the 8th December.


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations dolly!  We are only a week or so apart.

Good luck for your scans tomorrow BeeO and SillyWrong.

Herts the idea of seeing my consultant while I'm doing the shopping is horrifying  I conveniently forget every time I see the midwife who helped deliver DS that she knows all about what my foof looks like.

poppy sounds like you've had a nightmare lately  sending best wishes to your SIL and I hope you hear from the adoption agency soon.

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all well. Nothing to report here, 6 weeks today and a week away from our scan.


----------



## dolly132

Sarahsuperdork- congratulations! How exciting we are only a week apart. How are you feeling?


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## Divas212

Dolly - congratulations 😊

Poppy - sending big hugs, hope your week has improved and your sister is keeping them twins all snug 😊

Afm- our little boy is not so little, he's a big chunk lol had to move up to 0-3 months clothes and I think he'll only be in them a couple of weeks!! We re registered him today and my wife is now a parent 😊 X


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## KDJay

woo hoo Divas!!! So happy that you got it sorted, were they very apologetic? I hope so . congrats xxx


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## poppy05

yay congrats to divas wife, an official mummy   
thats brilliant, i bet she feels really happy now its all been changed? and like KD says, i hope they were extremely apologetic!  xx


----------



## BeeO

Yay, congratulations Divas and mummy x Glad to hear the little man is growing well.

Dolly  - congratulations on you bfp!! 

sillywrong - how did your scan go? fingers x

afm - had our 7wk scan and...we have 2 heartbeats!!! Yes twins! so excited - and petrified! sooooo happy       now fingers crossed they both continue to grow healthy and big


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## 2mums1978

silly- thanks, we are very excited to start our journey too. I expect it won't be plain sailing but just happy at the moment that I'm not past my sell by date 😂 We aren't far from Manchester- we are in Blackburn, are you from Manchester? 

Herts- thank you 😊


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## 2mums1978

Thanks BeeO

Dolly132- huge congrats 😬😬


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## KDJay

That's great news Beeo! Congrats xxx


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## poppy05

Omg BeeO thats wonderful news, congratulations xx


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## sarahsuperdork

More twins! Congratulations BeeO!


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## 2mums1978

BeeO- just read back as I missed the twins news!!! Huge congrats 😁😁


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## peanut165

Morning ladies 😊 Hope you're all ok. 

Feel like Iv been awol for ages but have been very busy keeping DD entertained during the school holidays! The back to school light is at the end of the tunnel now 😂😉

Congratulations to the bfps and positive scans! So exciting. Congratulations to Divas DW!

Poppy I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough time lately, hope all is sorted for you soon xx

Hope everyone else is doing well and there's lots more positive news to come for everyone.

Afm I'm 13 weeks tomorrow with my twins, had scans last week and all looking fine, both babies bouncing about well. I just can't help being anxious knowing I'm not going to see them until the 20th of next month! Seems like forever! Positive thoughts 😁

Have a lovely weekend everyone xx


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## Divas212

Awwwww congratulations beeo!!!

KD & Poppy - I have one very happy wife  now she isn't a farther 😂😂😂 but no apology what so ever 😬 Not even an aknowlegement of the complete mess up but whatever it's sorted now, happiest that our little man has the right paperwork!! 

We took little A to pram club yesterday, it's a local authority funded group and met a baby & her mummy a week older than A and her mummy seems lovely... Planning to go to baby massage too, we went together with him to do the whole yeah he has 2 mums and you know nobody batted an eyelid which is how it should be, we did get a few questions on how we decided who'd carry but most was related to the process of IVF...little A slept through it all then pooped as we were leaving and as we changed him he peed all over himself hahaha embarrassing his mummies, my wife USA bit of a joker and said well I enjoyed pram club but if that's what you think about it little dude we may have to reasses had everyone laughing! I'm quite shy so was nice to meet people with my wife so when she is back at work I'll feel more comfortable to go on my own and make other mummy friends 😊


----------



## BeeO

Thanks all. Still in shock to be honest.

Divas - aww, loved the story of your trip to pram club. It's crucial building a network of parents, can be daunting though.

Peanut - congratulations on your bouncing babies, fingers crossed they both continue to grow healthy and happy.


----------



## SillyWrong

Congratulations BeeO, wonderful news for you  

2mums, yes we're in Manchester - quite close to MFS actually. Good luck with it all, there are some lovely people there.

Our scan went brilliant yesterday. Can't explain how relieved we are! 

Hope everyone else is good


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## Divas212

Oh there appears to be a few of us in the Manchester area 😊 2mums, silly, me anybody else? X


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## dolly132

beeo - thank you and congratulations, twins how exciting!

2mums1978 - thank you

Divas - thank you and congratulations on reregistering little man. I'm sure your dw is feeling pleased!

I'm London


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## KDJay

Morning, how is everyone doing? I have a weekend of DIY ahead in our new place which dp is strictly banned from Becuase of the risk of contact with old lead paint due to the age of the property - I didn't even know this was ' a thing' but apparently so , jut another thing to worry about ha! Hope everyone is doing well , lots of good news going on here. Xxxx


----------



## Divas212

KD - I got out of all the decorating, cleaning after decorating, hoovering anything and everything that was remotely heavy oh and general cleaning because my sinuses we awful...I hope she milks it, hard work being pregnant, but I think my wife found it even more hard work with all the disasters in the house haha!!

So yesterday my wife had a flutter on the national, it's the only race we bet on and become a bit of a tradition in our house, not particularly a fan but it's once a year. So my wife picked her horse, I picked mine and we picked little A's obviously it had to be number 7 for him as he was born on 7/3 weighing 8lb 7 at 10.47....anyhow my wife's horse won as always and little A's came 4th at huge odds, and mine fell early on ha as always...but we won all going in little A's savings £158 lol bless he didn't know what was going on because we got mixed up with the horses and though little A's had won 1st place the excitement was hilarious....we don't do gambling as a rule but we like the national...


----------



## 2mums1978

Hi hope you are all well- just have a quick question. Been told by the clinic to check for ovulation at home before we start so we can have a better understanding of when/if it happens. 
I'm on a 28 day regular cycle and started testing yesterday which was day 12 using the clear blue ovulating kit- got a O yesterday and today which would be day 13, is this normal and should I have ovulated yet? So confused 😕 
Also I noticed body changes when I went to the loo on Saturday which would be day 11, it was clear but lots of it- does that sign mean I ovulated then? 

Sorry for all the questions- it's half term too so I'm home alone while better half is at work- not a good recipe for worry!!


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## KDJay

2mums - i would carry on testing just in case it comes in the next couple of days but it may have been that you ovulated on day 11 or day 10 before you started testing and therefore you have missed it - so maybe next month start testing on a wider window (its expensive I know!) but soon you will get an idea - my dp had a 26 day cycle and always without fail ovulated on day 13


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## dolly132

2mums1978 - I found when tracking my ovulation  with clearblue I ovulated about 14 days before ovulation so you may find you get that peek tomorrow. Clear blue also need a day or two to get your baseline so on day 1 of testing you will always get an O. I found the clear cm would happen a few days before ovulation and a few days after


----------



## 2mums1978

Thanks KDJay and Dolly- I'll check for the next day or two but next month I will start earlier! It's such a minefield isn't it?? My body signs say it happens much earlier on day 11but my cycle length shoukd indicate day 13/14! Oh well haha! I'll keep trying thank you 😊 

Ps- peeing on the stick is tricky isn't it haha!


----------



## dolly132

Haha I couldn't do the peeing on sticks so I bought a pack of plastic disposable cups and collected a sample each time instead. I'm just pleased no more peeing in cups testing ovulation and pregnancy for a while now! If it doesn't turn up in the next day or two I would wait till next month and start testing earlier. My cycles are irregular in length ranging from 29 days to 47 days so a couple of months when I was tracking ovulation I was testing for a while.


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## 2mums1978

I'm lucky that my cycle is every 28 days and this is my first month tracking it so I think it's a case of finding out when. I should have listened to my body and tested on Saturday really! Plastic cups, that's what I need!!


----------



## SillyWrong

ha ha - nothing helpful to add about tracking ovulation because I've never done it - but I am also rubbish at peeing on sticks, I'd grab a deodorant or hairspray lid and wee in that and then do a dip test.  DW was always complaining that nothing had a lid any more!


----------



## dolly132

Haha silly wrong I started using one of those washing machine balls from the persil but we started running out so switched to plastic cups. 

2mums1978 - if you are regular it should be more simple for you make sure each time you track you start at least a few days before you ovulate as the test will need a new baseline if it's been more then 3 days since you last tested.


----------



## poppy05

Haha im really laughing at your pee cup convo!!   
i peed into a nutella glass, which we did chuck out, however my mil has a couple and she gave me my drink in one a few weeks ago and i couldnt drink out of it, then i had to tell her why! now when i go round she makes a joke and says 'dont give danni the wee cup'!!!


----------



## sarahsuperdork

I did all my peeing in Happy Birthday paper cups


----------



## dolly132

Poppy05 - none of us will look at Nutella glasses in the same way again!!


----------



## poppy05

hahahaha oops sorry dolly


----------



## KDJay

Poppy we did ours in a Nutella glass too!!!! Haha it's washed up and bk in the cupboard always scared someone will help themselves to a glass lol


----------



## poppy05

hahahahaha KD thats funny, glad i have a fellow nutella pee'er!! 
we had to produce samples for our medicals for adoption and we both pee'd in a mug    its weird how it didnt bother me to keep that, i figured the dishwasher sterilises stuff, but that nutella glass had to go! perhaps its because i subconsciously associate the glass with the BFN outcome? xx


----------



## Herts85

Just wanted to say I am still here and have loved reading your pee receptacle stories! (Thankful that I don't have a Nutella glass!   ) 

Been a busy few days but will reply properly swap! Xx


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## Divas212

I'm intrigued to know what a Nutella glass is.... Fear I'm missing something lol


----------



## dolly132

Divas212 the small jars of nutella are little glasses with plastic lids. When the jar is finished you can throw the lid away and the glass bit is like a little tumbler


----------



## RainbowMum

SillyWrong said:


> 2mums, yes we're in Manchester - quite close to MFS actually. Good luck with it all, there are some lovely people there.


We're only a 10 min car journey from MFS ourselves
for some reason I'm not as happy about the clinic than I was with my clinic in London, communication is lacking a bit...but let's hope all that won't matter in a few months


----------



## SillyWrong

Random


----------



## SillyWrong

Rainbow ... Are you cycling at MFS?  We had issues too, ended up having a meeting with the med director to discuss as sometimes it just wasn't on.  If you want to talk about it, give me a shout. 

So that's 4 of us now then, from the Mighty Mighty Manchester!


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Er, thanks? 

We had our early scan this morning, lovely little Pierre measures 7+1 with a teeny tiny heartbeat. So relieved!


----------



## 2mums1978

Haha I've really started something haven't I!! Suppose we need a giggle from time to time and I'm amused that it's not just me...

When people talk about the baseline when testing, what does that mean? Sorry for sounding stupid! does it not just test the hormone level? X


----------



## poppy05

2 mums, your baseline scan is to check your ovaries have 'switched off' and your lining is thin xx


----------



## KDJay

Thanks for the approval    haha


----------



## 2mums1978

Hey you're allowed a break Hertz! Hope all is ok with you 😊


----------



## Herts85

Hello everyone,

Sarahsuperdork - glad Pierre was good and photogenic for his scan x

Divas - this is the Nutella glass I remember - http://i.imgur.com/Uy7Ke8Z.jpg - my mum still has some in her cupboard and I can now see me sneaking one out next time I'm there so that I can use it!  x

Sounds like we have lots of Manchester ladies in here. I do have a soft spot for the North although despite lots of teenage trips to Manchester I've never actually lived there!

Ok so random/worrying (for me) question. I've been tracking my cycle for what feels like forever, it's generally between 4 and 5 weeks except for last year after my HyCoSy where it was 8 weeks. Randomly this cycle I am two weeks late with all the usual signs of AF (bloated, spots, snappy and eating chocolate like it's going out of fashion!) but no AF at all. I'm definitely not pregnant (obvs!  ) but feel really worried about this. I've been googling premature ovarian failure etc and now I'm convinced I won't even get to try to have a baby! Yes I'm prone to being dramatic!

Could someone please tell me to step away from Google and maybe have a reassuring story? Thanks xx
/links


----------



## sarahsuperdork

I've never tracked my cycle Herts because we've always needed full IVF but if you're worried about POF, it's relatively inexpensive and quick to get your AMH tested. My clinic did it for £55 and it took two weeks to get the result back, but I know Spire hospitals accept referrals too (you could ask a consultant or GP) and it's around £80 through them.


----------



## poppy05

herts step away from google!!   
the more you wait for it the less likely it is to arrive, plan a date night (wink wink) and wear white knickers!! the evil af will be sure to turn up!! 


i no longer track my cycles, but im 99.9% sure i skipped last months period!    i do not remember having one, and this months was pretty grim! 
my cycles change every now and then, so put it down to that hun, im sure you are not having prem ovarian failure


----------



## Herts85

Thanks Sarah - I never thought to have amh done privately. It's pretty much the only test I haven't had! X

Poppy - you are totally correct, although I have tried both of those methods plus a risky light grey dress at work yesterday and fawn coloured trousers to a social event on Sunday!   Worse thing is when it does arrive I'll be cursing the fact I have a uterus but right now I'm wishing it on myself! X

Will step away from Google....after looking up amh testing in my area!   xx


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## sarahsuperdork

I think AMH is the only thing the NHS don't usually do. I'm sure everything is fine but it's worth considering for reassurance. My consultant recommended I have mine done before we cycled again this time just so we knew where we were at.


----------



## poppy05

You are correct Sarah, i took a long list of bloods to my gp that my clinic wanted me to have, and amh wasn't even on the system, so we paid for that one. xx


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## KDJay

Herts - pls honey step away from google, it is so common to have a late period it doesn't mean the worse , after all the most common things are the most common if u get my drift and pof is not. Xxx


----------



## sarahsuperdork

KDJay is right, my cycle varies every month sometimes by three full weeks but my AMH is good for my age. There can be a lot of different factors at play and everyone is different. 'Normal' for me is a very irregular cycle, for example!


----------



## Herts85

Thanks lovelies, I feel slightly less panicked but also like I really want to get this test done just for peace of mind! I think it's probably just stress, I'm going through a rough time of it at the moment and this must be how it's manifesting itself! 

Just typical as next AF is a pivotal one for me - when I start 'being good' as its not long til we're hoping to cycle. That said I'm glad it's late as it meant I got to enjoy an excessive weekend of socialising, boozy brunches and karaoke! Naughty!   

I will wear white and new underwear tomorrow, plus I have a meeting in London so hopefully that should convince the AF gods to strike me down in the midst of an invonvenient time! X


----------



## Divas212

Herts - I never really tracked my cycle and I'm glad I didn't ha one more thing to worry about, remember at times of stress af gets messed up so the more you worry the worse it could get, Google isn't helpful but we all do it....headache always turns into worst case scenario.... Try to relax and thanks for clarification on the Nutella glass 😂

Afm- my wife made me sleep downstairs last night on her work inflatable bed, as I had such a bad night with little A the night before. Omg a full night sleep was amazing and little A was typically a totally dream for my wife straight down after every feed, he's such a gannit 5 Oz,wind & sleep all within half an hour...I wish it was like that every night, my wife was full of it this morning, he was perfect what ya moaning for? 😂 Only messing about though, so cute seeing them two together, the way he looks at her melts me 😍 So it's pram club today again the weeks go by so fast, hopefully we won't have a repeat of last weeks pee episode but we are totally prepared if we do haha my wife returns to work next week and she is dreading it coz she's so going to miss us both so plenty us time this week 😊


----------



## KDJay

Aw Divas - glad you had a good night sleep and so lovely hearing about little A xxx


----------



## poppy05

Ah divas what a lovely wife, i cant wait to see my dw with our child (if we ever get one) she fed and changed our godson on mon and just watching and listening to her talk to him melted me, she will be such a lovely mummy.
bet you felt great after a good nights sleep? glad little A is doing well   


herts did you get the amh test booked? and did af show up? xx


----------



## Herts85

Divas - sounds like a lovely night for both of you! Sounds like life with A is funfilled and exciting. I'm sure you will both be fine when dw goes back to work x

KDJay - hope your good and keeping your dp away from the potential lead based paint! X

Poppy - I really hope you guys get to be parents soon, it sounds like you are so ready for it! No af despite taunting her with new, white pants!   I had an all day meeting so didn't get anything done today but I will speak to our IVF consultant tomorrow. Praying af arrives soon! X


----------



## Terrisita

Dear all,

Thank you for sharing all your journeys with me. I have to admit that I found it too hard to post or keep completely in the loop during our treatment. Your pee stories certainly made me smile, especially this week as I have been testing since Sunday! I have been getting faint positives since Monday and had a BFP on our official test this morning! Just wanted to say a big thank you to you all, as you all played a part in keeping my sanity, even if you were unaware! Now just another wait till the first scan
😉☺


----------



## poppy05

Ah Terrisita congrats hun, glad we were secretly a part of your journey!   good luck for your scan xxx


----------



## Terrisita

Thank you poppy. I have my fingers crossed that your adoption process goes quickly and smoothly xxx


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Congratulations Terrisita!


----------



## dolly132

Congratulations terrisita


----------



## SillyWrong

Hi All!  Oh I'm not so good at keeping up here any more!  It seems I check in and there's no new posts, then I check in again a few days later and there's pages and pages! 

Herts love, try not to worry, missed periods is completely normal - it happens (happened!) to me all the time.  In fact, DW's last one was randomly about 2 weeks late.  Try not to worry 

Terrisita - congratulations! Stick around here, this lovely bunch of ladies will keep you sane! What method did you use, if you don't mind me asking!?

Divas, hope wee A is doing good, glad you got some sleep!  Let us know how the pram club goes!  (What is a pram club!?  What happens at it!?)

Poppy, still no further news!?  Argh, I'm getting frustrated for you!  Did they not even give you an idea of when the next stage starts?

Sarah - so glad you had a great scan! What are you now, about 8 weeks?  How are you feeling? Urgh I was so ill at 8 weeks! 

KD - is DP's belly getting big yet!? You must have your 20wk shortly, no? I feel so far behind you (14+2 now) but then I think my best friend and brother's babies were due 5 weeks apart and then actually were born 2 days apart! 

loves to everyone else.

No news from me ... except we're now starting to write lists, to-do lists to-buy lists.  Oh it's all so overwhelming!!


----------



## Terrisita

Thanks Sarah and dolly!

Sillywrong - we used my wife's egg, ESB and my tum. We had many, many delays to start, but we were very lucky and it worked first time. Two embies in the freezer 

I actually had a dream that I had two positive results in Monday and sure enough, it showed up that day. Also dreamt of twins, but only one transferred lol


----------



## poppy05

Evening girls


I apologise for the me post but guess what?
WE ONLY BLOODY GOT THROUGH!!!!!!!!       
I can't believe it, our stage 2 prep course begins on 11th may.
Two extremely happy wifeys here!   


Hope everyones ok?


----------



## sarahsuperdork

Yippee!! That's fab news poppy, hope it's all smooth sailing from here!


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## dolly132

Fantastic news poppy!


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## KDJay

Oh wow what an amazing positive thread this is ! Congrats terrisita  and poppy that's amazing news for both of you!!!! Poppy u must be buzzing to be getting there now and of course you got through, you were born to be a mummy 

Terrisita - great to see another inter partner baba on here , it is the most amazing thing making a baby with your wife xxxx


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## Divas212

Terrista- massive congratulations 

Silly - pram club is at our local community centre, it's a group where parents all meet with thier little ones under the age of 2, all sorts goes on from General play, hand and foots paint prints (we did feet on little A this week), it's ran by a health visitor so any queries or concerns can be raised and occasionally they get outside people in like baby sensory or massage, just a great way to meet people with a lo at a similar age/development. The one I attend is in quite a deprived area and i was concerned about that, I don't think I can disclose what I do for a living due to some conversations last week but this week there was a lot more people and lo's similar age to A and I have met a nice lady who seems to be having a rough time with her lo. I hope that dosen't come accros as judgemental with regards the deprived area 😁 Anyhow at the community centre there are all dif clubs baby massage, baby sensory, pram club, well baby clinic, toddler street dance (that sounds so cute) all sorts and it's all free so I think I'll be spending a lot of time there when my wife returns to work x


----------



## BeeO

Yay!!! that's fantastic Poppy! So pleased for you   

Terrista - congratulations on your BFP! Fingers crossed for the scan, do you have a date yet?

Divas - love hearing about your day-to-day, so cute.

Sillywrong - gosh, lists, I love lists! I keep freaking out when I think of all the things we'll need for twins.

Hi KD, Herts, Sarah

AFM - had a scare last week but all checked out, had a second scan scan so saw the twins. Now referred to midwife so waiting for first appointment, apparently we'll see plenty of them cos twin pregnancy gets more attention. Nearly 9 weeks and I'm starting to get a tiny bump, though might just be my dinner, I'm obsessively checking for a bump lol! Next step is 12wks scan with midwife.


----------



## SillyWrong

Poppy I am SO blinkin happy for you guys! Oh it's so exciting! Friends of mine adopted their son when he was 2 months old, he's nearly 4 (yrs) now, and whenever I've seen them recently I've thought of you guys and your process.

Terrista - lovely way to make a baby (but then I'd say that because that's how we did it!) I can't tell you how much more special this pregnancy feels knowing it's my wife's baby - it feels like the most precious and important gift she could have entrusted me with!

Divas - I'm probably going to sound way more judgemental than you now, but I travel through quite a deprived area on my way to work on a bus and while I wouldn't judge people just because that's where they live (we have family who live there) I do have to admit I'd probably not go to a baby group there, simply because I see the mums getting on the bus in the morning taking their kids to school, 4 year old kids with a can of coke and a packet of crisps for breakfast who look like they need a good wash! I know that's judging a whole area just on the few people I see on the bus, and there will be 'decent' Mums who are around there too - but I just feel I'd rather travel in the opposite direction for baby groups. Although, hm, you've made me think about it now, and perhaps I am being too judgy and should give everything a go despite my prejudice and perhaps learn a lesson for myself!
Mind you, saying that, I really don't want to become a '_Didsbury_ yummy mummy' either! ha ha


----------



## mrsww

So much exciting news to catch up on. Love seeing everyone is this group on their journeys. 

Our daughter is coming up to six months and such a delight. She's so pleasant to be around, loves to be out and about and is so friendly. Our choice of groups isn't that great, our sure start centers do nothing for her age, very jealous of your pram group Diva. She does love the park and is now big enough to to sit in swing with blankets around her. We've started weaning and she loves it, not doing purees so she just have bits of what we have just vegetables and fruit at the moment, she goes crazy for avocado and banana. She's also started giving kisses which is so sweet. Now she regularly sleeps 6 hours at night, the other night she slept 8pm-6.30am, I was in so much pain and milk leaking everywhere. I've asked my doctor if we could try again and he's said yes so now need to find the funds and lose weight. I had a c section so won't try for at least a year. 

Thanks for all the comments a while back about being out, I've slipped out wife a few times and no ones batted an eye lid. Feel so much better feeling like I'm not hiding that my daughter has two mummies.


----------



## Divas212

Silly- don't get me wrong we have considered moving house just to get in a nicer area with 'better' schools and more room garden etc suburbia if you like but it's hard to know what to do for the best as we're in the position to be mortgage free by the time A is at school and the opportunities for him that come from the extra money, or potentially move but have a mortgage for longer. My wife wants to stay put... We've worked so hard on our home and it's our first bought property and our street is so lovely with stables at the back, not overlooked, and a lovely massive park a short walk through a cemetery with great neighbours.....but there are rough areas either side of us and we've no garden just a yard.... My wife's opinion is as long as we have good morals and values he will and a nicer area dosen't necessarily equate to nicer people.... I agree somewhat but a garden and better school. The didsbury yummy mummy did make me laugh but that brings with the whole keeping up with joneses snobbery too lol I think we have time to fully decide and thankfully in a position to have lots of options ha but we're so indecisive!! In the meantime my wife's mother is moving to one of the nice areas we'be considered right next door to a nursery lol so think we're going to try to get him in there if possible and hopefully that can result in good prospect for primary school places! Our house seems a lot smaller since all his things have filled it and I kind of think he hasn't got much playing space without everywhere looking cluttered! He certainly won't be having a can of coke for breakfast no matter who he is mixing with 😂 and may be wearing a hat perminantly 😂😂


----------



## sarahsuperdork

We live in quite an affluent town in Yorkshire, full of yummy mummies who sup lattes in Costa all day while their husbands go to work. We never went to baby groups here, not because we judge them but because we're so afraid of them judging us! We can't afford our own home, we're not at all well off and I can't see myself fitting in with them at all. I could be wrong.


----------



## Herts85

So much love here at the moment!  

Terrista - congratulations!! I'm so glad this thread has helped you while you were a silent member! Intra-partner definitely seems very popular on here, I think most of the pregnant ladies did it that way. X

Sillywrong - hope you're not drowning in a sea of lists! I'm quite fond of a good list, and stationary - got a bit of a rep in the office for it! Haha! X

Poppy - argh, that's fabulous!! Woohoo to you and your dw! X

Divas - I don't blame you for keeping quiet about your job, I did with my old job which was quite linked/involved with your field. Pram club sounds fab, as for deprived areas etc I think a kid who is determined will always get there. I came from pretty much the most challenging background possible but I always had ambition and eventually it paid off. No matter what you choose to do with the house and schooling I'm sure A will be an utterly delightful human being! X

KDJay - hope you are settling into your new place with dp. Are you guys the next baby due to be born on here? Exciting! X

BeeO - good to hear everything is ok with your babies. Hope you're not going crazy with all the doubling up! X

Mrsww  - I'm glad we've helped you subtly 'come out' in social situations. I'm sure the more you do it the easier it will become  Yay for number 2 at some point x

Sarah -   I'm sure any baby group would have been lucky to have you and A there. Hopefully you have a lovely social network now even without the baby groups x

Afm - AF is definitely on holiday, perhaps it's an immaculate conception!? Almost three weeks late and a raging bag of hormones and pre-period cramps. I'm ****** miserable!


----------



## KDJay

Aw Herts so annoying about Af!!! Typical! Love that immaculate conception idea  

Sarah - I'm sure no one would judge you! Bloody hell well I hope not anyway lovely  

Silly - God coke and crisps for breakfast ?! Blimey! I once saw a baby have coke from a bottle , broke my heart. 

Mrsww - so glad u are finding it easier and that the reaction has been as it should be! Is it bad that I'm already thinking about number 2? Not a major way just a little thought now and then hahaa! Although I think we couldn't be so blessed and lucky again 

Beeo - glad everything is going well

Divas - mortgage free in a couple of years! Wow! Haha I'm practically a mortgage millionaire! I'm not even joking lol! If I thought about it I probably would have an anxiety attack although I got a it rise this week woo! I did the stereotypical male thing and came out and said I need more money providing for my family etc etc and got what I wanted - I never would have done that before but really feel the pressure now with the baby on the way


----------



## KDJay

Terrista and poppy hope u are both enjoying your respective good news 

Afm - I'm in Paris with my three fav girls (mum, dp and Pocahontas  and as you can see can't sleep , my mother is snoring like a trooper and it's really warm. Had the most amazing couple of days spoiling my mum for her bday. Our 20 week scan is next week and just can't wait to get the ok that all is healthy fx! My mother bought her the most beautiful little outfit here in Paris so we can have something to remind us of the trip and to show her in the future - taken lots of bump pics so show her when she is older too. XXXX


----------



## Divas212

Poppy - great news!!
Mrs ww - congrats on having the confidence to be you 😊
Herts - I came from a similar background, but had a good influence from my grandparents and met my wife quite young, i had no ambition, no qualifications and didn't believe in myself, meeting my wife at the time I did totally changed everything!! So in that respect I agree with you but also want the best for little A!!
KD- mortgage millionare would totally stress me out there are some pros to living up north lol


----------



## SillyWrong

I think I probably came across as if I was saying that I'm scared my child would be ruined by mixing with the coke drinking babies ... not at all, I'm confident we can bring our kid up well rounded ourselves, no matter who they mix with, I was thinking more of me making other mum friends, I don't think I could be friends with someone who feeds their baby coke! ha ha.  Judgy McJudgerson!

We also can't afford to buy (we chose IVF over a house deposit!) 

Hope everyone's well and has had a nice weekend.  Bonjour, KD 

I'm suffering terribly with hormones at the moment.  Not been  great, this is all brand new to me, I'm not usually a very hormonal person, but I've been losing my head a bit and have done a lot of crying.  Hoping it's temporary!


----------



## Divas212

Silly - those hormones are a pain big hugs!! I didn't take it like that and I completely understand, I'm the same although there are those types at our group it has gotten better, took little A to baby massage today and met more of our type of people... Little A's adventures continue we went for his first trip to the seaside yesterday Blackpool got an amazing picture of how unimpressed he was hahaha went there as my wife has won an annual sea life centre family pass so in the future I'm sure that will keep me and A entertained!! He loved baby massage ha soooo cute!!


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## KDJay

Divas - how cute your pic is! haha and baby massage sounds so lovely - cant wait to do that. we went to a baby show yesterday and there was lots of oils etc on sale for that sort of thing. 

silly - Judgy McJudgerson lol! I knew exactly what you meant. Poor thing with the hormones, its so hard if it is not ' you' but at least you know you have lots of lovely hormones whizzing about growing your little one!  And good for you for choosing the ivf over the deposit, def worked out the best for you - all that other stuff is just material in comparison. I hope I didn't come across like a complete w*nker with my mortgage millionaire comment - I just meant that we may look fortunate but it's mainly debt on debt. 

AFM - had lovely time away in France then we went to a baby show yesterday and had a great time - ordered the pram, car seat etc, and bought some beautiful clothes and lots of freebies. Also bought a candle to bring on natural labour for later on-  looking fwd to seeing if that works as we want to avoid induction if we can and have the baby at home if possible. x


----------



## 2mums1978

Hi all, sorry I e not replied or commented for a few days- I'm down with glandular fever 😢 Love reading all the baby stories and seeing that everyone is doing well. 
I'm going to try to catch up in a few days


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## dolly132

Oh no 2mums1978, I had glandular fever when I was 16 and was hospitalised with it, make sure you rest and get well soon!

Afm - I am now 6 weeks 4 days but think this will be changed when I see the midwife/have scan. I have my booking in appointment on Friday and I have my 12 week scan booked for 3rd June. Being given dates is making it very real. 
Morning sickness kicked in on Thursday, it's been ok so far and I've only been sick twice so far.


----------



## BeeO

Hi all, how's everyone doing?

2mums - hope you make a quick recovery

divas - love the pic, a day at the beach sounds fab

dolly - glad to hear all is going well, fingers crossed for your next appointments. Hope the morning sickness is not too hideous

KD - wow, lots of shopping, was the show helpful in deviding what to buy or did you go with the a list of what you needed? 
I'm slightly petrified at the prospect of buying twin prams, I'm more confused everytime I look at a website... 

afm - We have our booking appointment next Fri (29th). Apparently they'll schedule the 12 wks scan for another date but I'm anxious to find out if the twins are ok so will try to convince them to scan. It feels like ages since we saw them. I now have a cute little bump which is wrecking havoc with my wardrobe but I'm scared to buy any maternity clothes for fear of jinxing anything so not buying anything till after the next scan. fingers crossed.


----------



## Divas212

Thank you beeo we had a lovely day, I'm surviving my wife being back at work....and on her days off she's doing all the night feeds, bless her she isn't getting much rest....but she says I'm working the hardest!! 

How is everyone else doing? It's a bit quite here lately x


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## KDJay

Hey yes it is really quiet here - we have moved house and I am so happy there already. DP is 21 weeks now and you still couldnt tell she was pregnant fully clothed which I think is quite cute. Enjoying the second trimester xxx


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## mrsww

My daughter is now six months - time has gone so fast. She's an amazing and beautiful little person.  So far loves all her solid foods, I have to hide if I'm eating something I don't want her to hide. 

Divas, that's amazing your wife is doing the nights. My wife has rarely helped at nights, I'm used to it now but I'm not sure if she realises how lucky she is that I do a majority of house and baby stuff. 

KD, I never looked pregnant even going into delivery ward. Weird how some people carry the baby. Second trimester was my favourite. 

We are in the process of deciding whether to stay in UK or move back home to NZ. We really want to try for another baby in a year or so but will be pretty much impossible from NZ. That said its so hard to save in the UK. If we do decide to stay then I'll find a nanny position where I can take daughter as well.  I don't want to work though.


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## Divas212

KD congrats on the move and 21 weeks more than half way ....so exciting!!

Mrsww- my wife feels like she's missing out on so much having to work, the nights are so hard.... she has so much going on too, work, degree and now a major family issue whereby she has to help her disabled mum move house and sell her house, she's had no down time at all bless her, I'm lucky!! Although we are both sulking as she is on 3 back to back 13.5 hour shifts from tomoz 😞 NZ looks amazing especially for family life but understand a big decision 😬


----------



## Autumn13

Hey ladies, I haven't posted in here for ages because I switched to a pregnancy board and can't keep track of two! However, I wanted to pop back to what feels like 'home' to see how everyone is and to say we had our 12 week scan today and everything is going swimmingly  Little bean is measuring slightly ahead at 14 weeks and made the sonographer laugh by standing on its head! 

Hope you are all well   

xx


----------



## KDJay

Congrats autumn! Can't believe baby is measuring that far ahead, what's your due date ? Xxx


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## KDJay

How is everyone else, so quiet on here which is a shame

Dp is 22 weeks now and is Finally starting to show a bit which is super cute , I'm just so excited to meet her and can't wait xxxx


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## Autumn13

Hello! Sorry that was misleading, it was the official 12 week scan but today we were 13+4 so it is only 3 days ahead. Due date is officially now the 1st of november going by the scan measurements, which seems weird because it isn't as if I don't know the conception date! 

Hope your dp is feeling well, its nice to have a bit of a bump, although my wardrobe choices are drastically reducing already! Hope she is enjoying the 2nd trimester and the glow it should bring! Take care xx


----------



## poppy05

Hi girls


Where is everyone? its so quiet in here 
KD wow 22wks already?    and awww @ little bump   


divas i love your new profile pic   


congratulations autumn   


hope you are all ok, not much to report my end, we have our stage 2 prep course next week, 3 full days, will be hard going, but its my birthday on the sat so at least i get to let my hair down and allow my frazzled brain to chill out! 


Any news from you girls?


----------



## mrsww

I'm still here, keep popping back to see how everyone is. Quite quiet so expect many are out enjoying the sun. My daughter is lovely just over six months and pretty much sleeps through the night, loves solid food and is a social butterfly. 

Talking to a mum friend today and we were saying how overwhelming it is doing all childcare and housework. And she said she was surprised it was like that in our house as we are two females. I do all housework, cooking, washing, ironing and probably about 90% of the baby care. I breast feed so for months I've only been able to feed baby but now I seem to be in charge of feeding baby all meals and preparing and even choosing what to give. My wife works and is out of the house from 7am to 6pm. She gets in the door and I've dinner ready, then she will put baby in PJs while I clean up and then I feed and settle baby to sleep while she sits and watches TV. I'm really struggling with having no me time and not sure how to approach it. Anyway I told my mum friend I'd ask some other same sex people how they split household stuff?  I love my baby daughter and know we are exceptionally lucky but I would love a bit of me time.


----------



## KDJay

Autumn ah I get it now! I thought u must have been having the fastest growing baby ever haha! 

Poppy - is this the bday that u come to brighton if I remember rightly? If so it's gonna be scorchio this weekend so perfect for u! 

Divas - I bet your wife finds it hard, I'm already worried about how I'm going to cope after only 2 weeks 'paternity leave!' 

Mrsww - your LO sounds gorgeous, sorry to hear you are finding things hard going it does sound like you are doing a lot - I saw this sat on the sofa whilst dp cooks and cleans! Ha! Yes I would def spk to your dw, I don't know how we will be when the baby comes but I'm hoping that whilst I am not in work I will take over the childcare to make up for the time I'm away. I also hate that I've become more lazy as my dp does so much around the house cooking and cleaning so I need to up my game as I never used to be like this but dp has sooo much time off work it just ends up she does more at home 

Hope everyone else is good!


----------



## sarahsuperdork

mrsww I am sure my wife could have written your post! I work full time so I'm out between 8am-6pm 5 days a week and she does most of the household chores because of that. I reason that we get the same amount of 'me' time between the hours of 8am-6pm; I get a half hour lunch break, she gets 30-60mins of toddler nap time for her break. On my days off, we spend time together and chores (cooking, cleaning, child duties, shopping) are shared but on days where I'm working, I do expect her to take the majority share. I would wager that she does not spend more than 45 hours per week doing household things and active childcare (which is the time I spend out of the home working) so I don't consider her to get a raw deal... but I guess I'm on the other side of the coin to you so maybe I don't get it! I always put A to bed and read him a story though so I'm not sat watching TV when I get in while she does the childcare. I miss him throughout the day and I think it's important I get that time with him, though right now she has to carry him up the stairs for me!

It's hard being the one at home, I know, but there is 'me' time when LO is napping or engaged with something they don't want/need your help with. I know my wife finds plenty of time for social media etc while I am at work, whereas I'm at work and I have to be doing my job the entire time. I think partners at work aren't getting any time but to the partner at home it feels like they are because they're out of the house. I have to remind my wife that it's hardly fun time out of the house and she has the option at any time to go to work and I'll stay at home instead.


----------



## Herts85

Hello everyone 

Sorry I've been quiet - I've been crazy busy with work, had a week away in the sun (bliss) and haven't had a lot of fertility related stuff going on to be honest!

Not sure if I updated but AF finally showed up after a mammoth 53 day cycle!! Last time it was that messed up was a year ago when I had the HyCoSy, Lap & Dye. No idea why it happened but really hoping I'm back to 'normal' this month! 

It's lovely to hear how things are with everyone.

SarahSD - I hope early pregnancy is going well and you aren't battling with sickness and a toddler! Your 12 week scan must be soon? x

KDJay - I can't believe your DP is only just showing, she must have immense stomach muscles! x

Mrsww - I can't offer practical advice but would say you need to speak to DW asap as the longer this is left the harder it will be to broach the subject. I'm sure she just hasn't really thought about it but I'm sure you'll be able to work it out. Maybe start small - book and bath while she looks after your DD? x

Poppy - WooHoo for stage 2 and Happy Birthday for next week. Hope it all goes smoothly for you x

Autumn - Lovely to hear how you're getting on. I've always thought the date/scan thing is bizarre for IVF babies too! x

Divas - Hope you've got into a routine now that your DW is back to work. x

BeeO - how was your scan? hope the babies are ok x

Dolly - how are your symptoms? x

2mums - Glandular fever sucks, hope you're feeling better soon x


----------



## Divas212

Hi everyone, baba A had his injections yesterday and been a bit off.... He's currently downstairs with my wife while I'm in bed, it's been a rough two nights while she's been working... We are in a little nighttime routine with bath, massage, bottle and bed around 8.30 but it's hit and miss if he sleeps... The past 2 nights he's been up every hour urgh!! 

Mrs ww- I totally understand your post as I feel like that when DW is at work, she has a little camp bed setup downstairs so she isn't disturbed in the night, she leaves for work at 6am and gets home at 9.30pm, it's awful she hates leaving me to it and misses him like crazy but she needs to work, she drives on a very busy motorway and is on her feet constantly at work, in an intense environment with a lot of pressure and needs to be on the ball for her patients! I think we are both as knackared as each other, at the moment I am doing the house work as and when I can, when my wife is off she will do all the night so I can catch up and I don't know how she functions with work and no sleep when off. I do some housework while they are having their bonding time, my wife thinks I have it tough as little a is very full on but I think she has it tough being away from him so much, she's also struggling to finish her degree module and has her disabled mothers house to sell, pack up and move her mum, she's under so much pressure so I think at the min she has it tough, and the downtime she does manage she needs to spend bonding with our son. I agree though you need to speak to your wife about how your feeling coz if she dosent know nothing will change x


----------



## mrsww

Thanks for the perspectives. I think I'm having a wobbly week as my anxiety is peakimg so it makes me likely unreasonable to a degree. My daughter is still held to sleep for naps so I really don't get the time just to chill - I'd love to paint my toe nails or even brush my teeth. I also keep telling myself that she's only small for such a short time that I need to relax but I've set my expectations high which doesn't help.

My wife does say she's got a good deal.  None of her work colleagues have evening meals made for them and also breakfast and lunch ready to go in lunch bag. All her work colleagues do their own ironing as well. And housework is for the weekend and is divided in half.

She's been off work this week sick - I've still done all the same things as usual plus been out of the house with baby so that she can rest. Now I've picked up her cold and will still have to do the same things. 

Oh well onwards and upwards. Baby girl is the happiest thing, I need to count my blessings. She's in need beside me and has the most beautiful face.


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## sarahsuperdork

I would talk to her mrsww, like others have said nothing will change if she doesn't know how you feel. If she knows she's getting a good deal, maybe she could be doing more to help if she knew how you feel?


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## Autumn13

Evening ladies 

Poppy I'm glad to hear things are progressing for you. How are the courses run? Are they 'sit and listen to a lecturer' type things or interactive workshop type? 3 days all together does seem quite hardcore!

Mrsww I feel for you. When my wife works nights literally all she does is eat, sleep and shower. I do everything else and occasionally I feel like everything is getting on top of me, particularly if she doesn't help me out much when she does have a bit more time. Every so often I have a mini meltdown and just complain that I need her to help me to keep on top of things and she always admits she has been rubbish and says she'll do more. Things improve for a while, and I think I will forever have to just keep reminding her every so often - god help us when LO appears!! That was a long winded way of essentially saying just mention it to DW, she won't know how you're feeling if you don't tell her. 

Herts - glad you had a break from it all and pleased to hear AF finally showed up! Will you be cycling next month? 
The date thingy is weird but I'm hoping to use it to my advantage! I'm terrified of going overdue because I know someone who had a stillbirth at 42 weeks, so if they want to bring my due date 3 days earlier then that's 3 days less overdue to be before I demand an induction lol!!

Divas has A picked up at all today? Hope he is feeling better after the nasty jabs!

xx


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## mrsww

I've yet to find the right approach to talk to my wife. A few weeks ago she got in at 6pm on a Friday night, I put dinner on table, and she chose to turn TV on, when baby begun to grumble she turned TV up.  I was cross, baby had been unsettled night and day, she came home to a clean house and dinner on table. But if I'd gone crazy she would have got offended and would be grumpy all weekend. So I chose to take baby and give her massage and get her into bed, had a lovely time really.  Wife came to bed and I got up to do dishes. On the Sunday after I was calm and at a time that we had time to talk I explained how much I appreciated her working and I know she works hard and how I really look forward to the hour each evening where she can help with baby. And how upset I was that she chose to watch TV and then turn TV up when baby got upset when she could have watched it in peace at 7pm when baby goes to bed. She ended up crying and then made me feel even more guilty by saying how she was such an awful person and how she should be more caring. And then things have been ok for a couple of weeks but now reverting back. So I feel,like I can't discuss things with her as she gets upset but I can't lose control either.  

Two times when I was having really low days with anxiety she said "I didn't sign up for this" so I am extra sensitive to what is normal and want is anxiety and making sure I'm not been unreasonable. 

Pre baby I was very much the carer, running around after her and I guess that's what she came to expect but I can't give her the same care with a little baby, a baby we both wanted. I might find a relationship book at the library. I did have talking therapy which was so helpful.  See I'm confused as to whether this is normal in balancing relationships or its my anxiety making things difficult or possibly a relationship issue. 

Anyway thanks for letting me let it out on here, it means I'm keeping calm at home until I can decide how to fix it.


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## Herts85

Mrsww - it sounds like you are managing the situation great. Even without anxiety a new baby is always going to be a difficult transition. Is there anyone you can ask to babysit one day/night for you so that you can have some time to focus on you and dw? From an outsiders perspective it sounds though she's unsure where she fits into the new family dynamics and is worried/frightened so is hiding away and then lashing out at you. X

Divas - I hope A isn't under the weather for too long after his injections x

Autumn - that's a good point, I'm so impatient that I think going overdue would be difficult to deal with! I'm not 100% sure when it will be. But June/July depending on when af is and whether it clashes with Glastonbury. Can't believe it's so soon now! X


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## 2mums1978

Hi guys, how is everyone? Glad we are all posting again as it had gone so quiet! I'm feeling much better now thank you Hertz! 
Mrs ww is there anyone who could have baby for a few hours while you and your DP have some time together to talk? That way anxiety might be reduced? Just an idea- hope you guys work it out whatever happens. 

Can I ask- did anyone track ovulation before they started treatment for IUI? I'm testing in the mornings and have had 2 months with no smiley face which tells me I'm not ovulating I'm all over the place as we had tests back which suggested I was ovulating and everything was normal- I have a regular 27 day cycle and tested negatively today on day 12, so day 13 and 14 are still so come so you never know, it might appear but did anyone else have months they didn't ovulate?


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## KDJay

2mums - dp monitored ovulation but never didn't have a smiley face but she was always day 13 so maybe it's to come , what day are u starting to test and when do U stop? Xxxx


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## dolly132

Hi Ladies,  

Wow it's been quiet and then gone crazy busy in here all at once. It's lovely reading everyone's catching up posts.

I am now 9 weeks pregnant, my sickness is constantly there from the moment I wake to the moment I go back to bed, I am constantly knacked. We went out to a burlesque show with some friends yesterday evening and it was our first evening out since I got pregnant, I've been in bed all day today sleeping on and off as I have felt exhausted. We have booked a private scan for tomorrow as my dw's dad and step mother is over from Canada next weekend and as she lost her mum in January she is looking forward to telling her dad and siblings in person so we want a scan to reassure us all is going well before telling them all.
I lost my job a couple of weeks ago so now searching for a job which is difficult as a pregnant nanny with morning sickness!


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## mrsww

Herts, you may be onto something that my wife is feeling unsure. We don't have anyone to watch baby and I get baby settled around 8pm and then wife just wants to go to bed so us time is very limited. Maybe I should plan some mini date things for when baby is asleep. We had a nice day today which was good. 

2mums, I never got a positive on an ovulation stick despite at some points taking them three hourly for most of a cycle. I ended up having a scan which showed the egg and then was giving a trigger shot. 

Dolly, good luck on your job search. I'm looking for a nanny job currently where I can take baby.


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## KDJay

Dolly - poor you with sickness all day  fx for the scan tomo so exciting u will get to tell dw's dad , does he have any idea? X


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## dolly132

Thanks mrsww. I'm considering stepping away from nannying for a bit and just getting something part time to help make ends meet while I'm pregnant and while little one is little.

Kdjay - he has no clue atm. We didn't even tell him we were going to start trying and we never expected to fall so quickly so it's come as a shock to us and my family so think her family will be very shocked. Dw's mum was her world and we lived with her from the moment we married to when she passed away (I didn't get on with her at all - she hated me no matter how much I tried!) So I think it's Important for dw to tell her dad's side I person and feel that excitement that only family feel


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## Divas212

Autum and Herts thanks for asking little a is ok now 😊 I'm not taking him for his jabs next time lol!!

Mrsww- I also think your wife might be feeling a bit unsure as to where she fits.... My wife has often said she feels useless with a as she dosent do as much as I am and dosent know his routine and cues like I do, that's frustrating to her but she is far better at his massage than I am maybe it's because she is calmer at that time and not at knackared as I am! Plus at times she feels a little rejected from me as a is full on and we've had our grumps and feelings of f*ck this really has changed our relationship forever, we've had it just us and the dog for 16 years throw a baby in the mix and our life revolves around him lol! I'm just trying to say the change and impact was nothing like I was expecting and it's not all flowers and skips in the park, but you do need to talk to her and equally she probably wants to talk to you but is fearful of admitting that yeah it's hard she don't know what she's doing and she's missing your old life..., because that's hard to admit!! My wife and I are quite open but that's due to previous history and we can read each other like a book so I knew she was feeling a bit left out & unbonded, we had a little talk and concentrate on the things that make her feel like she can do it.... Her massages knock him out and the massive smiles she gets when he sees her absolutely melt her, she dosent do as much in the house but then she never has, she needs a good kick up the **** but she has done far more without asking since a arrived because she's in the mindset of I'm knackared just get it done as quick as possible so we can all sleep lol! Just have a chat but be totally honest x


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## 2mums1978

KDJay- WE GOT A SMILEY FACE!!!! The sun is shining and I'm ovulating, all is good in the world!!!! I can breathe now and relax a little 🤗🤗🤗


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## KDJay

2mums yay!!!! Day 13 just like dp x when we were doing iui we did mornin and night once we knew the day


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## 2mums1978

KDJay- I might test again tonight then and tomorrow to check that there are 2 days. you say you and your DP did IUI, has it been successful? We are hoping to start over summer


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## KDJay

2mums - we only did one iui and then we just wanted to move to something with a higher chance as we were impatient so moved to ivf and yes we got a bfp xxx


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## 2mums1978

KDJay- oh that's fab bfp! we are going to pay for 3 attempt at IUI as it's at a reduced cost at Manchester fertility then take things from there. Don't have an endless pot of money but we've got to give it a go!


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## KDJay

Well wishing u lots of good wishes! We ended up doing inter partner in the end with egg sharing so my dp is carrying and I shared my eggs xxx


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## KDJay

Hi 

How is everyone? 

Quick question - what do your children call you and your wife/gf/partner? Or what are u planning with your children to come? If u already have children do I encourage them towards a certain name or just see what they want to call you? Friends of ours use mummy and mumma and others have used mummy (first name). I'm not too keen on the mummy (first name) but my dp keeps asking me when she talks to the baby about me (ha!) 'what are we calling you again?' She is going to be mummy xxx


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## Ask1980

KDJay - our friends use Mum and Mama my DW refers to us both as mum but I say Mummy for me and Mum for her! lol!


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## sarahsuperdork

We use mummy (me) and mama (DW). A is able to distinguish between us and ask for who he wants.


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## KDJay

Thanks ladies for sharing, think we will use mummy and mama - although the mama may take getting used to. I may just be plain old Mam as I am welsh so that's what I call my mother anyway.


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## dolly132

We are planning to use mummy for me and mama for dw


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## KDJay

Lots of mummies and mama!


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## mrsww

I'm Mama and my wife is Mummy. But will leave it up to daughter to decide as she gets older.


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## KDJay

Really interesting , I would prefer her not to call us by our first names - our friends daughter recently said to one of her mummies that she was going to call her daddy - she was like 'fine!' Haha - it didn't last


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## sarahsuperdork

I often wonder why in same-sex couples a lot of people leave the onus on the child to decide. Nobody says to a child of a heterosexual couple that they can decide; they're told the female is mother/mum/mummy and the male is father/dad/daddy (or other similar variant). It came up during our counselling session pre-IVF and we were asked what we would do if our potential child (at the time) wanted to call us something else. I just can't imagine it cropping up, really. We tell our children that a car is a car, a tree is a tree, they can understand that this is mummy and this is mama (or whatever you choose). We already chose what we wanted to be called, and he uses those names because that's what we taught him.


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## KDJay

Yeh that's a really good point actually! Never really thought about it like that but our friends who are mummy and mumma did that too and the kids have never departed from what thy were told (until that one day when she wanted to call her daddy!)


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## poppy05

We have had this convo too, i def want to be mummy, dw isn't bothered but would prefer mummy or mum, i think when the time comes we will probably both be mummy, but we will not encourage being called by our first names, if that is something our child starts to do.
some friends of ours are mummy and mumma, and dad and daddy xx


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## mrsww

Where I grew up quite a few families had children call their parents by nicknames that came about during toddler hood and stuck long term. Derivatives of Mum/Dad  or random words etc that's why I would not mind if our daughter came up with her own name for us.


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## KDJay

I think we may be mummy and mammy but worried they are quite similar sounding ? Prob see what sounds natural when the baby comes


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## Divas212

KD - we are both mummy to little a at the moment, we just don't see why we can't both be mummy, he Deffo won't be using first names and if he ever does want to distinguish between us it'll be mum and mummy.... That said if he decides on another term for mummy then that's ok too just going with the flow!! He's so beautiful I can't believe he is 10 weeks on Monday and he's thriving 13lb 9 big boy loves his milkies and cuddles and he's going on a big adventure tomorrow our first family holiday 😬 Exciting!!! Can't wait to get him in the pool 😀


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## KDJay

Oh divas that's so exciting where u heading off to?

Hope everyone else is doing well ? XXXX 

24 weeks tomo for us and dp is doing really well, the littlest bump u have ever seen, so cute - she is starting pregnancy yoga today and we are going to have a meet up with someone we met from a different forum :/!


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## sarahsuperdork

KDJay glad DP is doing well and her bump is coming along nicely. Enjoy your meet up!

Divas great news that little A is growing well, well done both of you. Hope you have a lovely holiday.

I will hit 12 weeks on Tuesday, our scan is on Wednesday and we can't wait to see teeny tiny Pierre again.


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## Herts85

KDJay - I think we'll be mummy and mam when the time comes (dp is a Geordie so mam all the way!). Can't believe you guys are at 24 weeks, it must feel like it's flying by for you! X

Divas - enjoy your holiday. We were away last month and all the families with children had so much luggage, I was impressed they could manage it all not to mention juggling the baby with it! X

Sarahsuperdork - wow 12 weeks, that's come quickly! Only a few days until you get to see Pierre again! X

Mrsww - hope you talked things through with dw and the situation has become a little easier x

Poppy - hope you're making progress with things, I don't know how quickly the process is but could you maybe be a mum by Christmas? That would be exciting! X

Dolly, Ask, 2mums and anyone else I've missed - hope you're all doing well x


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## poppy05

Hi herts
Thanks for your msg, things are going well so far, we completed our stage 2 prep course this week, it was 3 days of very emotional, intense training, i got alot out of it and really enjoyed it, and almost miss being there   im hoping we will be allocated our social worker this week and can move on to the home study part.
We think our panel date should be around sept time providing timescales are on track, so in theory yes we could be mummies by christmas!    i really can't see us getting a placement that quick, however we were told this week that 5 months from now any one of us in that room could well be bringing their child home, thats less than a pregnancy! 
We are going down the foster to adopt route, and we were also told that those cases are normally quicker than straight adoption, especially if baby is being removed from birth.
Hows things with you? 


Divas where are you off to? i would be excited about the pool too, i cant wait to have a baby to take swimming   




sarahsuperdork good luck for your scan, so exciting


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## mrsww

Herts, thanks for asking. Yes, we've talked and things are a lot easier. I was really struggling with anxiety but it's got better since. I've been holding onto a lot of anger about an experience in hospital but I've written to PALs and hope to get an apology. It is a work in progress but I'll continue to try communicate with positivity. 

Divas, enjoy your holiday with your family. PYour little one has passed my dinky six month old in weight, my brother three month old baby also has passed her. 

Poppy, that sound exhausting and exciting as well.  

Sarah, good luck on scan. Exciting.


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## Herts85

Mrsww - good to hear you talked things through with dw, hopefully you'll feel more like a team now x

Poppy - Wow, I've heard F2A is quick too so you never know! I really admire adoptive parents - it must be hard enough preparing for a child practically and emotionally when you have 9 months but when it could be 9 weeks or less it must really test a couple! X

We're tying up loose ends really. We have Glastonbury festival next month then after that we are free to try anytime so will be at the mercy of my cycle! I need to confirm everything is ok with the clinic so we don't get any nasty surprises there and plan in the scratch. After that it's just a case of trying to be good and grow some nice eggs! X


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## kottonsocks

Hello everyone
I've been following this thread since the start but haven't got around to registering and commenting til now, initially due to being in the throws of treatment, then due to first trimester nerves.. and finally due to being busy and generally quite crap at forum type posting! Anyway, enough excuses! It has been interesting and entertaining getting to know you all! And has been really helpful in terms of hearing people at all different stages of becoming a family, so thank you for sharing your journeys. 
To summarise our situation – I am currently 17 weeks pregnant with (non-id) twins, following IVF at Kings in London. Due October... DP and I have been together 5.5 years and live in SE London (anyone else..?). We started our ttc journey last year with a couple of attempts with IUI and, after that was unsuccessful, moved on to (NHS funded) IVF at the start of this year, and we were very lucky that it worked! 
I look forward to checking in more regularly over the coming months. Oh and we're planning mummy (DP) and mama (me) as this is what we both used with our mums when we were kids


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## sarahsuperdork

Hi and welcome kottonsocks.  Congratulations on your pregnancy. 

Herts hope you enjoy Glastonbury, sounds like a great way to relax ahead of your cycle. Won't be long now!

poppy that's fab news, how amazing that you could be mummies by Christmas. So glad it's going well. 

mrsww glad things are feeling less strained at home. Hope you get the result you want from the hospital as well. 

One more sleep til our scan... anxious but hopeful.


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## KDJay

good luck for your scan sarah!

Poppy - I am so excited to hear of your journey

Kottonsocks - congrats on the pregnancy  We are in Britghton so not too far from SE London plus we are practically up in London most weekends! 

Mrsww - glad things are improving

Hope everyone else is doing well. Had some amazing news today that my best friend is also pregnant, I didnt see it coming at all! But very excited for her xxx


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## poppy05

Welcome kottonsocks and congrats on the pregnancy, twins!! wow thats amazing, looking forward to getting to know you   


good luck for tomorrow sarahsuperdork, hope you get a little wave   


KDJay, ahh congrats to your friend, how lovely is that for you all, you are going to have so much fun together with your little people    im in Brighton this weekend so i'll give you a wave   


Exciting week in our family this week, my SIL, is going in on thurs for her c sec, so we will be aunties to twin nephews by the weekend!!!    just hope we can get to see them on fri before we go away for the weekend   .


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## Herts85

Hi Kottonsocks - welcome to the thread and congratulations on your twins! I'm just outside of northwest London so pretty much the opposite but spend most of my time in London. X

Sarah - thanks, I'm really looking forward to it. Good luck for your scan. I can't wait for your update tomorrow! X

KDJay - I'm quite jealous of you being by the sea, do and I both grew up near it (in different places) and always feel most comfortable near water! X

Poppy - how awesome that you have the imminent arrival of twin nephews to look forward to! Are they identical? X


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## poppy05

No non identical, they are ivf twins xx


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## dolly132

Hi and congratulations kottonsocks! We are in South east London and are due in December.


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## SillyWrong

Hi all!  I've been away for what seems like a gazillion years, but have finally caught up with everything that's going on!  

Poppy, so pleased to hear things are moving on for you! 
Divas, hope little A is doing OK 
mrsww, sounds like you're having a rough time at the moment, keep talking, I really feel for you x
Sarah, hows that baby of yours?  is this the 12 week scan?

Everyone else ....   Hi! x


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## SillyWrong

Oh, forgot to add an 'AFM' on to the end!

19 weeks prego now!  I cannot quite believe it still, i can't believe it feels like five minutes I was coming on here for support through our treatment/journey! 20wk scan next week, DYING to see wee bab.  We went to The Baby Show last week, they had a little scanning area, we almost parted with £70 just to get a wee look!


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## KDJay

Hey everyone , a few of us are in a group called "FF LGBT thread chat" on social media  - come over and join us if you like x


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## KDJay

or PM me and I can send you link


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## SillyWrong

Just to add to what KDJ said - the group is usually completely closed, i.e. private so no-one but it's members can see it or search for it or see who is in it (so it's safe, if you're concerned about chatting on there) .... but I've lifted the privacy to 'private group' just for now  so it's searchable in case any of you want to join us x


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## dolly132

Oooo fab ill go and join. I searched and it didn't come up so assumed it was private but now can see it's currently a closed group.


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## poppy05

Ive sent a join request, if someone could let me in please


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## KDJay

Anymore for anymore  It's lovely to put a face to a name and we are not all crazies promise


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## 2mums1978

Hi KDJay what's social media are you on? Xx


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## KDJay

Sorry looks like ff have changed it, it's that well known blue one


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## poppy05

Yes i had to change it girls sorry, you can post the link via pm xx


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## KDJay

No problems poppy  xxx


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## Divas212

Wow lots of activity on here.... I'm enjoying morning cuddles with our sleepy wee boy who will not be put down to sleep during the day but will at night so it's ok!! We are in a beautiful log cabin with hot tub, our friends invited us on thier holiday, we thought they were crazy inviting us with baby but it's gone amazingly smoothly we've even had nice weather! Little A has loved all the faces with our friends and his new bouncey chair I can not recommend the baby bjorn bouncer enough no batteries and fold completely flat perfect for travel!! The car was absolutely rammed packed full, babies need so much stuff, suppose it's easier if your breastfeeding as no steriliser or prep machine needed. You know if I'm honest I wasn't really looking forward to this holiday as I thought it'd be so hard and stressful and knock little A's routine to pot but it's so much easier than I thought, actually feel like we've had a break, friends keeping A entertained and even cooking for us.... Added bonus of a dishwasher haha!! We have seen the duckies, beautiful lakes, little A had an owl posing on his pram, made a wish in the wishing well, visited Beatrix potter's house and of course got little A a peter rabbit lol! Not been swimming yet but either today or tomorrow if we get chance but as long as the weather is nice we'll be outside!! We are both knackared but enjoying every minute of our first family holiday 😊 We are extremely lucky to enjoy all this with little A and amazing friends thrown in! They won't accept a penny towards this holiday they are naughty, but they say they were coming anyway and it's a pleasure to share it with us!! Little A will be buying them a present for sure x


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## SillyWrong

Divas that sounds lovely!  We were staying up in Bowness last month for my birthday, we've been a few times, love it up there!


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## Divas212

Silly - it was lovely, we wasn't far from bowness, we love the lakes anyway but with little A it all seems even better, unfortunately my wife and I are now poorly aching sore throats and headaches, A dosent seem to have it yet and hopefully he won't! Maybe a bit run down and got to admit we haven't been eating as well as we usually do, just opting for easy and quick and it's showing, i'v been doing the night feeds for consistency for A when the wife goes back to work but she gets up early to allow me a lie in.... Back to bed for me x


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## Herts85

Divas - Lovely to hear about A's first holiday. Sounds like a lovely break for you all. Hope yours and dw' slurry is shortlisted. It can't be fun when both of you are ill and can't look after each other as there's someone who needs your care x

As for everyone else I hope it's all going well. I'm pretty sure between here and the group on 'that social media site' I'll keep up to date! 

Just as an aside, whilst it is lovely to talk in real time, see faces and have a general profile snoop () I will still be popping on here as much as possible, would hate to make anyone feel pressured or left behind! X


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## KDJay

Yes of course Herts always nice to keep on touch here as well and hear how everyone is doing that's not in that group


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## 2mums1978

Arghhhh! I'm really crap and can't find you guys on the social media website!!


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## 2mums1978

I couldn't follow the link you sent me KDJay 😕


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## KDJay

I'll pM u xxxx


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## Herts85

Hello, 

Hope everyone is doing ok. I've been in contact with the clinic and started booking things in, we now have 4 straws of sperm with our names on them! (Feels so odd to say that!)
I also found out today that my grandad has terminal cancer. I'm obviously upset but also feeling guilty about being so excited at embarking on this exciting step in our lives. I'm almost tempted to put the IVF on hold but we've had so many people advise us not to put our lives on hold for treatment that I'm thinking perhaps the reverse is true too?

Sorry for the me post just a little all over the show at the moment.

Herts x


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## KDJay

Aw Herts what a difficult time for you, sending you lots of love honey !!! Don't apologise at all, only you will know if you feel able to carry on with treatment at the moment and everyone is different xxxx


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## vickydyr

Hi All,

I haven't had a chance to read through all the history on this post but just wanted to say hi first & I will catch up later.

We are trying to get pregnant with home insemination & a known donor, is there anyone else in the same boat?

I hope everyone is OK & I wish you all the best of luck


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## Herts85

Hi Vickydyr,

I have no direct experience of this but could put you in touch with a friend on that popular social media site if you want to PM me? 

Herts x


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## dolly132

Hi vickydyr

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with our first baby after doing home insemination with a donor we met online. If you want to chat feel free to pm me


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## Joanna555

Hi ladies, I am new here and I wanted to introduce myself. My partner and I (female couple) have started IUI treatment at Homerton. We had to abandon the first cycle as they over-stimulated me, but thankfully the second round looked good and we went ahead with the IUI a week today. Now I'm in that awful 'waiting period' where I am itching to take a pregnancy test but rationally know that there is zero point to doing it!   

It's great to come across this forum and get in touch with people going through similar situations. Best of luck to everyone trying! xxx


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## KDJay

Hi Joanna and welcome! My friend had iui at Homerton and now has a beautiful little girl so I hope it works for you too!


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## Herts85

Hi Joanna,

I hope your two week wait goes quickly for you, I can only imagine how much it tests your patience! Fingers crossed for a positive result!

Herts x


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck Joanna


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## Joanna555

Thanks for the encouraging words and warm welcome! I am hoping time will fly soon (and I might just test early even though I'm not supposed to!). Hope you are well. xxx


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## Divas212

Hi everyone, how's everyone doing? Been a while since my last post on here which is a real shame, had a lot of personal family stuff going on!! My wife is considering joining your social media group if that would be OK? KD it can't be too long now until EDD? Our little man is now 4 months and he's amazing.. Recently started rolling over on his own, massive giggles when mummy is silly, although he even giggles in his sleep which is seriously cute!! Haha


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## sarahsuperdork

How are you doing Divas? Well done to your little man on rolling over! I'm 19 weeks now, anomaly scan tomorrow.


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## KDJay

Pm u divas


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## Herts85

Divas - your little one sounds the cutest! It must break dw's heart to leave you both to go to work! X

Sarah - 19 weeks, as in halfway!? How quick has that gone! So please for you, bet you can't wait to meet your little girl! X

X


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## Divas212

Aww it does Herts, but she's off for a week now and our little fella has post inoculation fever proper poorly baba 😞


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## Divas212

Sarah hope all is well on scan😊


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## Divas212

My wife sent our request to join the group, will be nice to put faces to the names


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## Herts85

Oh no, poor little A  

Looking forward to seeing you there divas, it is lovely to match everyone up! I keep meaning to friend request the people on it who I arent already friends with but whenever I'm posting/chatting it always slips my mind! X


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## sarahsuperdork

I am happy to be friends  scan all well today, measurements spot on and still a girl so time to talk names!


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## Divas212

Good news Sarah we are waiting eagerly for someone to accept our request lol need to nosy hahaha


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## Herts85

Sarah - will be exciting to hear what you come up with, A has such a lovely and unusual name! X

Divas - I think only sillywrong can accept the request but I'm sure she will be on soon  x


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## dojiejo

I have completely lost track of what is happening on this thread. Really hope everyone is well. 

My DS is 6 months next week, time is flying. We recently went on a trip to Australia, I had prepared that the trip would be awful but he surprised me and was great. We manage to be back the day before London pride so introduced our son to his first pride. 

Joanna - My DS is the result of IUI at the Homerton, he was conceived on our 6 and last attempt of IUI.

Herts - Sorry to hear about your granddad. 

Will try to keep up more with the chat.


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## Herts85

Hey, hope everyone is doing well, I know we speak on the social media group but just wanted to update on here.

We had our 1st scan today. It's CD4 so very early, and only 2 Gonal-f injections done when I had it (3 done now). Good job it was early as there's a cyst which has increased in size on my ovary which they're a little worried about. Had bloods done and will be reassessed on Monday. At one point they were talking about cancelling the cycle which was scary! Will be introducing the cetrotide on Sunday - my clinic have asked me to do it in the morning so two lots of injections, one morning, one night. Not looking forward to that!  

Herts x


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## Delta

Hi, single gay guy here starting IVF in 2 weeks, nervous and excited, coparenting with friend. Would be good to start talking to some others who understand the LGBT aspect. Don't really know anyone else who is doing this. Help! 

D


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## poppy05

Hi delta
Welcome to the group, wishing you and your  friend lots of luck for your forthcoming ivf cycle, i'm unsure if we have anyone on here who has coparented? i could be wrong though, however we have lots of experience with ivf, so if you have any questions please fire away.


poppy xx


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## sarahsuperdork

Hi Delta, welcome! Yes lots of experience with IVF but not the co parenting front.


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## Delta

Thanks for responses. Doing DE abroad due to friend's fertility issues. We have been told egg collection is 18/19 and that embryo transfer is 22/23 Aug if ultrasound scans on 12th give green light. DF and I have known each other since uni days, but really got motivated to do this following attendance at fertility show last year. Given the fact this is happening in Finland it makes it difficult to coordinate hotels and flights due to the imprecise nature of cycling. I guess I'll just need to leave it right up to the last minute. Previous scan fine and doctors very happy with all bloods/sperm analysis. I didn't change anything in my diet really but I don't drink, I don't smoke and I do exercise all the time. Just been taking zinc tablets and Wellman. Now I'm thinking should I cut out caffeine and it's probably all too late but DF thinks I should cut down on my americanos, but I'm sitting in Costa now desperate lol.
I guess its all too late now anyway and whatever will be will be. Never ever thought I would get the chance to be a dad. Even the chance is golden.
Thanks for listening.

D


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## Herts85

Hi Delta, that's so lovely! Really hope it's works for you and your friend x


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## rottencrown

Hi all! Me and my girlfriend are few weeks away from our first home insemination and I'm getting pretty excited.. We are ordering sperm from Denmark cryobank
(we live in Finland), also we started a new blog just a few days ago about this journey and we wouldn't mind if somebody likes to read it.  
// Has anyone here ordered from cryobank and/or had succes with home inseminations?


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## Delta

Hi Rottencrown, I read your Finnish blog (had to translate it though 😊)
Funny, we're coming to Finland in 2 1/2 weeks for IVF. Tampere actually. We chose Finland for the known donor laws, which are like UK but IVF is cheaper and no waiting time for donor eggs. It's all been a pretty smooth process so far. 

I wish you and your partner luck with the family.

D


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## rottencrown

Hi Delta! Oh thank you for reading, the blog is in english too - u just need to scroll down pass the finnish part.  wow that's funny that u're coming over here.. it must be pretty expensive back there because I think that it can be really expensive to do the treatmens here. :/
But I wish you good luck too! Tampere is a nice city btw.


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## bakemehappy

Hi!
Another newbie here!  I've been reading all the messages on this thread and learnt so much.  Me and my wife had our initial consultation in April.  We'd initially planned to start with iui with me carrying but found out the my AMH was at the low end of normal so decided with the better odds Ivf would be the better option for us. We're just at the stage where all necessary tests have been completed, we have a meeting with the clinic on Tuesday to discuss details, I'm so excited but also a bit nervous already.  

I've really struggled with the internal scans and smear test, so much so that the consultant I saw this week suggested a be sedated for embryo transfer as well as egg collection.  Just wondering if anyone else had this problem?  I'm not particularly worried about the procedures before hand but just seem to tense up as soon as the examination begins.  

It's been great reading everyone's experiences, thank you to everyone who has shared their journeys


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## Delta

good luck bakemehappy! My friend got used to the examinations in the end. She jokingly called one of them the 'dildo cam'. I guess she's taken a light-hearted approach to it as a distraction. She's done IVF before. It is difficult though. Personally for me I was nervous doing the sperm donation but at least that was in private. I just kept thinking beforehand that I would do anything for my kids, even stand infront of a bus, so I could do this!

Hi rottencrown, yes it is super expensive in the UK for egg donation and IVF, even more so than Finland. We're paying about 6000 Euros in Finland. We've already spend £1000 in the UK in consultations, scans and bloods. If we did the IVF with egg donation solely in UK there would be waiting time and it would cost us over £7000!

It had to be either UK or Finland for us though due to the known donor laws.

D


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## SillyWrong

bakemehappy - hi (again!)  I was exactly the same as you, had real pain and 'tensing' issues with scans and smears (and had some other horrible stuff done!!) and I had Diazepam for embryo transfer.  I found it really helped relax me, though i did feel a bit 'woo' for it - I used it the first two times and then decided not to use it for the third as i didn't want the few hours sleep on the sofa afterwards or the drunk feeling, and actually ended up being fine with the third one 'sober' ... it's worth looking in to.  I had the 5mg ones, you can also get 2mg, so that might be worth considering. 
Hope your appointment has gone OK today, let us know!

Hi Delta and Rottencrown


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## bakemehappy

Thanks SillyWrong, that's really helpful.  I'm booked in for sedation for ET but may ask next time I'm in.  In my head I'm relaxed, my body has other ideas  
I'm hoping with all the scans I'll get used to them!


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## KDJay

Bakemehappy - my gf found internals hard at first and it was a big deal but by the end they didn't bother her at all and I have to stop her dropping her trousers for normal scans now she is preggo x


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## Delta

Hi Sillywrong.
Quite nervous at moment because we're on hold to await results of DF final ultrasound tomorrow. The donor has responded well and she will be ready for egg collection 17th/18th/19th.
we will know with about 2 days notice to book flights to Finland and hotel next week.

D


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## rottencrown

I'm so nervous yet excited! The tank arrived yesterday - now it's a waiting game.. wish we could just do it already!


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## Delta

Rottencrown: Good luck with the tank. I read your last blog entry, and although we have very different ideas about using donors, I really really hope it works for you. Funny, we chose Finland for the very reason you didn't!
Take care

D


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## rottencrown

Delta: Thanks! Well the fact that you are a guy and want to be the dad you can't really compare our situation in that way - i think you get it.  I really hope everything goes fine for you guys too! Btw I also donated eggs about a year ago..


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## Delta

Terve rottencrown!

I am in Tampere, Finland. 
Clinic is 50m away. Going to 'do my thing' tomorrow at 9. Quite nervous. DE flys out on Saturday.

Does anyone serve decaff coffee in Finland!?!?!

D


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## sarahsuperdork

Good luck tomorrow Delta


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## Delta

Thanks Sarah,

I'm actually laying here unable to sleep. It's gone midnight now.
Good job I basically have to role out of bed and the clinic is right there.

D


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## ElizaMunk

Hey Delta I hope that everything went all right for you?


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