# The beginning of our journey



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hi ladies,

We are at the very start of our adoption journey, we have been to the info evening back in March, my DH is now ready for us to fill the forms in, so we are part way through.
Is any one else at this stage to share the highs and lows with, would love to chat.


Becky x x x


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## jen1980 (Aug 28, 2013)

Hi Becky,

You're a little ahead of us just now as our first info evening isn't until later this month.  I'm guessing bc is birth children?  How frustrating to suddenly have the "unexplained" label!  We're in the "unexplained" infertility group too and have had 2 unsuccessful IVF cycles - we've decided to go down the adoption route and I am incredibly excited!  How was the info evening?  Did you try a few different agencies before settling on one?  Any tips for the open evening - was there anything you wish you'd asked at the info evening but forgot about??

I hope you application goes well, it's an exciting time  

All the best,

Jenni x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hi Jenni,

So sorry your ivf did not work for you  
I hope bc means birth children some of the short hand takes a little figuring out lol.. 
I am very lucky to have my 2 boys, now 15 & 12 years old. Unexplained infertility was hard for me to deal with.
Due to the boys being older they came to the info evening with us, which did help answer some of their questions but also made many more. We found it really interesting and suddenly very real, we found out in our area babies were most inneed of adoption last year which gave me great hope of adopting a baby, what age group are you hoping for? We have only tried our local agency and at the info evening was happy with them and what we was told, our only concern that came from the evening was about pets as our dogs are spoilt and very much part of my life, my baby substitutes, so I am having to be strict and get them sleeping in the kitchen and not in our bed and get some house rules in place lol..
All of my question were answered that night apart from trying to find out if we could adopt a baby due to the age gap with the boys we were told that is a decision us and sw would discus later in the process so still not sure about that......Filling in the forms I had a few questions about the references but nothing major.  Take a note pad and pen because as the info is given out questions may arise it can be overwhelming our evening took about 2 and 1/2 hours with people asking question throughout, sw stayed behind to answer questions in private.

Hope your info evening goes well look forward to hearing about it  

We posted our forms back today, so excited

Becky x x x


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## jen1980 (Aug 28, 2013)

Hi Becky,

Eek!  Actual paperwork in the post - amazing!  We're hoping to adopt siblings, preferably quite young and close in age.  We've always wanted a couple of kids so I suppose we have to talk to the SW and see whether it's best to adopt siblings (as we want to) or adopt 2 separately.  It all seems quite far in the future just now!  It's quite cool your kids can get involved, although even more opinions to take into consideration  

We've got a very spoiled cat so I know how you feel!  They're a lot more independent than dogs but still need a lot of affection    I've started my list of questions and I'm sure they'll cover loads of stuff in the couple of hours they have.  I have questions about references too and I think different agencies ask for different numbers so I'll just wait and see on that one.

Can't wait for the open evening, very exciting!  Look forward to hearing how you get on.

Jenni x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey Jenni,

We were hoping to have 2 more children and was unsure if adopting siblings was the way to go or like you say 1 at a time, so in my workbook form I indicated that was something I'd like to know more about. I think hubby would rather 1 at a time.

I've been watching wanted a family of my own and 15000 kids and counting they have also helped answer questions but agencies may vary from place to place. Have you watched any of these program's? the timing could not have been more perfect.

For our references we had to find 6 people and no more than 2 could be family but after a phone call to sw she allowed 3 family members as we don't have many close friends and have not told anyone really about what we are trying to do.

Apparently should hear from sw within 5 days of them receiving our paperwork, so watching for postie every moring from now on lol.


All the best for your evening  

Becky x x x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Oh my god I'm so excited, sw just phoned with home visit and training dates I can't believe it, jumping around like a loon........

X x x


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## jen1980 (Aug 28, 2013)

Becky,

I caught up with the "Family of my Own" documentary over the weekend.  It was reassuring in that it seemed to be in line with the reading we have been doing.  It's a week today until our first open evening and I'm getting excited - wish we'd booked an earlier one now!  I want to be having home visits and training days too  !!!  Good luck with the visit and training, hope you enjoy it! xx


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey Jenni,

Time soon passes we went to the info evening on the 26th of March but did not post our forms until May 3rd if we had sent them in sooner we could already have had our home visit, so if you can get yours filled in in good time you won't be waiting to long either I keep flipping from excited to nervous, worried I may mess it up somehow.

Look forward to hearing how your evening goes

Becky x x x


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## jen1980 (Aug 28, 2013)

Had an information evening this week which was brilliant!  We've sent back paperwork to get an initial home visit with that LA and then have another info evening in a couple of weeks.  I'm dead excited about the prospect of a home visit - less so by the fact that our house resembles a bit of a building site (new bathroom!) - timing is everything!

Hope your visit went well, was it enjoyable or just nerve-wracking  I doubt you'll have messed it up  

All the best,

Jenni x x x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Morning Jenni,

I'm so pleased your info evening went well   how long was your evening? Did you get your questions answered?

We had our first home visit yesterday, was emotional for me to go through the past, felt very drained afterwards. The rest of the visit was fine going through the house and checking the garden is secure, general form/chat about how to protect children in the home ie stairs, meds, chemicals.

Sw has suggested we talk to other couples local to us who have adopted as neither of us have expirence of adoption, sw also advised we get a book ' what every parent needs to know ' by Margot Sunderland. 

Sw has said that we should go through to the next stage, so now waiting to go on the training days our first 2 days are 24/25 June.

so far so good   

Keep me posted about your visit, look forward to hearing all about it.   


Becky x x x


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## jen1980 (Aug 28, 2013)

Hi Becky,

That's all 3 of the info evenings done and we have an initial home visit tomorrow!  Eek!!!

Brilliant news that you're well on the road - all set for stage one?  From what I've read, most people are a little apprehensive about the training days but get a lot out of them.  It'll be nice to be around people who are going through the same stuff too, I bet.  I'm sure you're, like us, braving yourself to have your lives picked over during the assessment, but it's all for a good reason.  I've even heard that a lot of people find it quite therapeutic!  Hope that's the case for you - the first session is bound to be a bit intense  

Happy reading and research and meetings and training!  Try to enjoy it  

Jenni x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey Jenni

Things are moving fast for you now, how was your first home visit? 

Sw arranged for us to meet a local couple who've adopted, it was fantastic to be able to talk with someone who's been through the whole process. I've been invited to meet the rest of the group of adoption friends, they meet every few weeks so really excited to talk to more mums that have adopted.  

First training on 24/25 June so can't wait now, have you got any more dates in the diary? 

Thinking of you   

Becky x x x


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## jen1980 (Aug 28, 2013)

Hi Becky,

The home visit was really good and the SW spent over 2 hours just chatting and having a look around.  She told us that her initial impression was very positive and she wants is to apply - the only caveat is that we have to wait 6 months from the date of our last IVF which was a little disappointing but totally expected!

We're kind of on hold until September so we're just chilling out a bit and letting the time pass.  I've sorted out some voluntary work with kids and getting on with some reading, but we're not stressing about the wait.  It's given us some time to sort the house out too - the rooms that will be the kids' room look more like layapart stores for the builders at the minute  

You'll have done your training by now, how was that?  I think it's a great idea meeting with other people who've adopted, and I was surprised at how many people we've told know someone who knows something about it all!  Is that all the training done for phase one or are they sending you to anything else?

Things will start moving quickly for you guys now, I bet.  Hopefully the kids (and dogs  ) are as excited as you both.

As always, good luck with the meetings and visits and everything else, I'll be thinking of you!  

Jenni xxx


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey Jenni,

I'm really pleased your home visit went well, waiting until September is not that long the time will fly by 

We have done the first 2 training days, I was not sure what to expect,  but we were given a lot of info about the children who need adoption, and continued contact with the birth family. There were 14 of us on our course 5 couples and 4 single ladies, some had birth children. A foster carer came and spoke to us about the children and their background, we had group tasks about how to deal with different situations that could arise, day 2 an adoptive parent came and told her story, this was good to hear but she had taken on an older child with lots of health and learning difficulties. The days are long but we learnt a lot, I had a bit of a wobble, are we doing the right thing? I came home from the course thinking this sounds very different from raising my boys.

After a few days thinking it over I spoke with the boys and told them how different an adoptive child seemed to be, and that this little one would be raised and disciplined very different from them, to my surprise they are still very happy and want to go ahead, even knowing we will miss a family wedding in Mexico next June. 
So wobble over and on we go. 

We have received our notice to proceed and we were told that from the date of us sending this letter back things go fast as it's 4 months to panel eeeeekkk..  
We can't send ours back till the end of July as DH has lots of work booked in and he will need to be available for lots of home study.

The last 2 days of training are 8/9 September I'm not looking forward to these so much as we are going to be doing Thera play   Also I hate talking in front of other people sooo embarrassing. Luckily everyone on the first course will be on the second so no new faces, I had to talk in front of everyone last time so hope it won't be me next time lol

Our dog Boo is still my biggest worry at home but training has begun. 

Will be thinking of you, look forward to hearing from you soon 

Becky x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hey Jenni 


Hope everything is going well your end

We have almost finished home study just one more visit, and our panel date is 12th of November. 
Look forward to hearing how things are for you   x x


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## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Hi Jenni

It's been a while how's things going for you guys? We have been matched with a little pink one still can't belive it yet. Hope to hear from you.

Is any one else in a similar situation to us?  


Becky


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