# 2nd IVF is looming and I'm freaking out



## peppermintT (Feb 15, 2006)

Hi
We've been lucky (as everyone posting on this board has been) and have a lovely little girl and we were extra lucky as I got pregnant after the first round of IVF. We've decided to jump back in when dd is rising 1 as I'm not getting any younger and we want to give ourselves room for multiple treatments if needed. 

All of this sounds very logical and I have been happily telling my friends and family that it's all going to be fine, I know what's coming, blah, blah, blah. However, last night I realised that my period (and therefore the short protocol treatment) is due to begin in less than 20 days. Now it's so close I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED  . I feel really unprepared. Last time I had read everything on the planet about the treatment and had been preparing for it (lots of protein, reflexology, sleeping, going to the gym). Of course I've forgotten most of it and, being a mum to a baby and working as a part time secondary teacher, means I am constantly knackered. I am so scared about how the process is going to impact and, if it fails, how I am going to blame myself for not preparing in the same way as I did before.

Can anyone relate to this? Can anyone suggest anything that has helped them cope with going into another round after having a baby? 

PeppermintT


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## Edna (Mar 19, 2005)

Hi Peppermint,

Welcome to H4AM.

I think you're in a very similar position to me. We were also lucky to be successful with our first IVF cycle and are now trying for no2. I also work part time and can really empathaise with the tired all the time feeling.

I haven't had much chance to think about IF and my only preparation has been taking my ante natal vitamin. Sadly it hasn't worked out for us so far...no its not easy but you can and do deal with the disappointment. I know my lovely Evelyn has helped me get through it, oh and my lovely FF buddies.

I hope this helps...do come and join us on the Another Miracle thread. You are not alone.

lol


Edna


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## cleo1 (Apr 21, 2004)

Hi Peppermint,
If you really don't feel ready for it then you might want to postpone it until you've got you're head round the idea. However, I certainly haven't felt ready in the same way now as I did the first time - I don't think it's possible really. And there never is an ideal time because we're all so tired anyway! What is in our control is to take our folic acid, to try and eat as healthily as possible and to avoid smoking and alcohol. This time around I've taken time off work aswell because this might be my last chance at IVF and I want to optimize it -by reducing stress.
Take care, 
Cleoxxxxxxxx


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## slinkyfish (Jan 17, 2007)

If it's any consolation I was dreading starting ICSI again. Like you, the first time round I was totally ready for treatment. This time round was a very different story! We had literally just moved back to the UK from China, the house was a mess and we had packing boxes everywhere (and still do!) Plus my daughter had just started at a new school, so I would have to do the school run and then leg it up to London and back for 3pm. All my family thought I was mental going ahead with it at such a stressful time, but in my case I had a continual nagging thought - I'm not getting any younger! 
Oddly enough once I'd started treatment I felt very calm. All the decorating and unpacking was shoved to one side and I just forgot about it. I think the lead up to starting treatment is definitely the worst bit because you are constantly worrying and thinking "what if". Personally I think your feelings are very natural and normal. Lets face it, is there ever really a good time to do it when you have young children to look after?
My advice - take a deep breath and go for it girl! I'm now pregnant with twins!! 

Good luck and whatever you decide will be the right decision for you


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## cleo1 (Apr 21, 2004)

wow, slinky -that's such a success story, made me feel very optimistic!
Cleo


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## slinkyfish (Jan 17, 2007)

I know and I'm glad it helped! I think we've all got good reason to be very optimistic. In the 6 years I've been having treatment (on and off) so much has changed and there is definitely more treatment options out there now. When I had my first ICSI in 2002, there was no blastocyte transfers being done and I'm sure that helped me this time round. We're still a bit shell shocked with the twin thing, but I'm a big believer in "if it's meant to be it will be". Plus I was determined to start treatment before my 37th Birthday. I'm not saying it was easy (I ended up with mild OHSS), but I think that thinking about starting treatment is the worst bit. Once you're on the baby making wagon you just have to go with it as there's no getting off, so I just went with the flow!! I do think though that once you start you have to put everything on the back burner, which can be quite hard. I was dreaming about flipping packing boxes I can tell you!!

Good luck to you all, miracles can and do happen!!


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## peppermintT (Feb 15, 2006)

Thanks for all the helpful and positive comments, guys. Slinkyfish, you have a point about the lead up thing. Just thinking, thinking, thinking can eat away at you, at least once you're having tx you are doing something (even if it is only sticking yourself with a needle - boy, am I not missing that!) 

I love this message board! I can't imagine how I would have gotten through it all last time without it. Everytime you think you are going insane, you just log on and realise that what you are feeling is totally OK  

P


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## slinkyfish (Jan 17, 2007)

Good luck Peppermint and here's hoping your dream comes true! 

It's not fun but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end


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## Macmillan (Dec 26, 2006)

Hi PeppermintT

I can empathise with you (and feel we have a special bond as I drink peppermint tea until it comes out of my ears - I love the stuff!)

We were lucky with our first ICSI too and have a darling son, now nearly 4 months.  We always said we would try to have as shorter gap between children as possible, if we were lucky enough to be blessed with another.  We are hoping to squeeze in a FET cycle in March/April before I go back to work after mat leave, and have our appt at the clinic next week   to discuss.  It feels so soon....  I was feeding W last night before bed and thinking just how would I manage if I had a 18 month old running around too!  However, I'm sure that whatever the age gap it would have its challenges.

We know that we'll probably have to have several attempts this time ( we can't possibly be lucky enough for it to work first time again!)  so I really want to face the first go while I've not got work to contend with as well.  They were really good to me last time and let me have paid time off for attending the clinic and having treatment, as well as a couple of days off after ET, but I don't feel I can ask again - I mean the stakes are different now aren't they? - whatever happens it can't be that bad because we have W already  

Feel unprepared too - must start the old folic acid, caffeine/alcohol-free and organic fruit & veggies bit again.  Did this for 3 months before last time.

Wishing you lots of   luck in your mission to get a sibling for your LO  

Bec x


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## peppermintT (Feb 15, 2006)

Hi Bec

How did your appointment go? I'm waiting for AF (next day or so) which will trigger the beginning of the treatment round. Thankfully I had calmed down a bit but then (random point here) I returned a library book today and got a receipt and it said "1/2/2008" and it suddenly struck me that my treatment is beginning in the next few days. Had to go and sit down and have a hot drink (coffee not peppermint tea this time   ). Here's wishing you the best of luck - maybe I'll see you on the feb/march cycle buddies board?

PeppermintT


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## slinkyfish (Jan 17, 2007)

Peppermint - Just wanted to say good luck with your treatment  

Bec - yes you can be lucky and it can happen first time again. Stay positive and good luck!  

Will be thinking of you both


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## Macmillan (Dec 26, 2006)

Thanks girlies for your good wishes  

Best of luck Peppermint  


x


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