# Welfare of the Child



## Lily0750 (Aug 1, 2015)

Dear Single Ladies,

I booked the first consultation with a UK clinic. Among the documents I received is the additional information from the HFEA about Welfare of the Child which says


> in situations where the child will have no supportive partner the clinic will pay particular attention to the prospective mother's ability to meet the child's needs throughout childhood. Where appropriate, the clinic will consider whether there is anyone else within the prospective mother's family and social circle willing and able to share the responsibility for meeting those needs, and for bringing up, maintaining and caring for the child.


Does the above mean that I need to get consent from a family member or a friend that they would be willing to share the responsibility for meeting child's needs, bringing up, maintaining and caring for the child?

Will I be required to provide the name of such person(s) at the first consultation?

My situation is a bit peculiar because my parents and sisters live abroad.

I did not intend to tell anyone about my fertility treatment until I be pregnant over three months. Just wanted to avoid unnecessary rumors in my family.

Many thanks in advance for any advice and recommendations.


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Tbh it usually just means confirming that you have a support network of some sort. In your case your family; probably I would not even mention their location as clinics really are not the baby police!

It may mean a compulsory counselling session.


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## Lily0750 (Aug 1, 2015)

Thank you very much, Me myself and I.


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## natclare (May 27, 2011)

I wonder if it may mean the compulsory counselling session which is really no big deal? Good luck.


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## Lily0750 (Aug 1, 2015)

Thank you natclare.
I sent the forms back. Tomorrow I will attend Zita West evening for single women. Hope to have clearer picture of what is expected from single women doing IVF.


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

No clinics go into that in any kind of detail.
HOWEVER you WILL need a strong support network once the baby is on the way!
Not saying this to scare you, more to put plan A B and C into place while you're pregnant.
Supportive friends, potential godparents, paid help, family... You will need access to an extra pair of hands most weeks so best to be prepared x


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## Lily0750 (Aug 1, 2015)

Thank you BroodyChick.
Friends and family are working full time, parents are over 70 so won't be able to help. It will have to be paid help.
Yes, I thought once I get pregnant will look for a nanny or perhaps a doula for the first weeks.


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Well there you go. You've thought it through so nothing to worry about 
Also I assume your parents can still cook, or wash some cups or put stuff into the microwave which is all good assistance to have x


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## Lily0750 (Aug 1, 2015)

Thanks Broodychick. Forgot to mention my parents and other siblings live abroad. Tbh, I still try and hope to persuade my partner to do IVF together.


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

My family are abroad too and it's very very tough. I've had help from paid people and also a charity called HomeStart, but as long as you're prepared for that and have an emergency fund for child care and your relatives can visit sometimes, it's all possible.
All you need is that extra pair of hands! I now have 4 friends who occasionally babysit for free so your network will grow.
Are you trying with own eggs?! And what is the situation with your partner? Hopefully they will be able to assist you too


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## Lily0750 (Aug 1, 2015)

Thanks for support, BroodyChick.
Re. eggs I will decide after consultation.
I am still trying to convince my partner, but again will wait until after consultation to decide whether I have to leave him or not.


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## Katie88 (Feb 7, 2013)

Why would you need help cooking or washing up? 

I was a single parent to 3 under 4 at the age of 21.. with NO support whatsoever and i managed just fine. 

Just because you have a baby doesn't mean you have to become dependent on anyone


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## kittykat76 (Jan 17, 2016)

Lily - I am doing ivf at Zita West and never had any issues with that form,I am single and just fill forms in without questions It's more about dotting the i's as it were rather than them poking around in your business. Never had to have counselling session but they do have 2 included in a cycle,speak to Terri who deals with a lot of the single ladies stuff-she is fab! They are an amazing clinic,the team are so supportive.
After the birth it is so handy to have friends who can help out but mostly you will just find a way to deal with stuff and it's a learning curve,you will also meet other parents along the way and help each other out. I really wouldn't worry about all that yet though


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