# Counselling



## Ltierney (Jul 1, 2012)

Hi ladies

Has anyone had counselling after failed IVF I've just done round 4 in Cyprus, totally chilled for 2 weeks and 4 embryos transferred but still bfn  

I'm not coping very well to be honest even though I'm putting on a brave face im dying inside. Everyone expects you just to bouce back but after 4 goes I don't know what else to do to make it work. 

I live in Bedfordshire if anyone is in the same area that could recommend someone


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## Numberfive (Mar 31, 2014)

Hi, I recently had my first IVF cycle which resulted in a BFP followed shortly thereafter by a scan showing an empty sac and a miscarriage. So not exactly the same as your situation, but still devastating to me. I decided to see the counsellor, which was a free service offered by the IVF clinic I went to. I've only seen her a few times so far but she's been hugely helpful in helping me process what's happened and try to move on and focus on the future. Obviously I am at a very different stage than you, having only been through one cycle of IVF, but I definitely think you should try to find a counsellor to see. Hopefully she can help you make sense of your experience and help to cope with things a bit better. It's also nice to talk to someone neutral. I am really lucky in that my husband, friends & family have been very supportive, but at the end of the day, they all have their own opinions, some of which weren't entirely welcome. So I found talking to someone neutral and objective very helpful.

You could try asking your IVF clinic if they offer counselling services or if they can recommend anyone?  Or maybe your GP? Best of luck, I hope the counselling helps and I hope your pain does become easier. Big hugs xxx


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## Tiny21 (Jul 24, 2007)

Sorry about your BFN, they never get easier.  Counselling helped me loads, we had to have it as we used donor sperm in the UK and she was an IVF 'expert' and she was great, I even paid to see her a few times after the clinic's free sessions ran out. I think someone who knows about IVF is important - your local clinic could probably recommend someone as they should offer counselling - trouble is you will probably have to pay. Will you be able to have a follow up? It took 7 goes to get our little boy initially but you have to ask questions and push for info I found even with good clinics. Huge good luck and I hope you find a great counsellor. 
xx


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I have had counselling through the NHS. They tried to push CBT (the new NHS answer to anyone crying I think) but I just stressed I didn't need coping strategies because it's normal to feel like this when treatment fails, I just needed someone impartial to talk to and rant at without fear of judgement. I also have to admit that I have been taking a very low dose of diazepam and it's really helped me to sleep which is making me feel better just getting a proper nights sleep.

Counselling has been really helpful - she doesn't say much, but just having someone to listen helps. I also keep a diary (not on here, a private one) and that really helps.

I'm going to move you to the negative cycle thread honey - I just think there will be more ladies there that can help and advise.

Sending you loads of love


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## Ltierney (Jul 1, 2012)

Thanks everyone, I just emailed a lady so hopefully she will come back to me


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