# How to find a female coparent?



## Londonpapa (Dec 3, 2015)

I have been reading a lot about coparenting recently in the press as a new social phenomenon but looking at the profiles in websites like Pride Angel most of the times the search is for a sperm donor with no or little contact. I am gay and I not sure about surrogacy because I believe it is important for the child to have a maternal figure but for some reasons not many profiles of women in these websites think the same about the paternal figure. What do you think is the best way to find a proper coparent who want to share in an equal way the contact with the child?

Thanks


----------



## Swimbikerun (Feb 1, 2014)

I say, don't give up!


This isn't straight* forward for any of us. Your co-parent is out there, probably frustrated at not finding you. 

Have you been on Co-Parent site (I'm sure you have)

Good luck!!








*pun totally intended


----------



## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Londonpapa,
I am on the other side of the spectrum, having experienced a failed co-parenting arrangement but at least my son still has the option of contact with the paternal family if he so wishes.
Happy to chat more over PM, it would be nice to have more kids but couldn't do it on my own!
My thinking was just like yours, as that I wanted there to be an involved father in the child's life. Not many of the co-parenting sites are very legit, and the other gay dads I know all used surrogates.x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I have a friend (gay man) qho has co-parented 2 children's with a lesbian couple and all is going very well for the 6 of them. They were all established friends before the journey.  I tried to go down a known donor route but alas couldn't carry a child. good luck


----------



## Delta (Nov 13, 2015)

Hi Londonpappa, did you have any success in the end finding coparent?

I was on all the sites mentioned above, and had pursued several lines of interest but in the end wasn't fully able to trust strangers with the upbringing of my babes. Luckily last year a dear friend agreed to coparent with me and now currently undergoing IVF. I know a gay friend of mine who coparented with a straight work colleague, and also had experience of initial stages of coparenting with lesbian couple that didn't work out.

If you are a single gay man then you have an uphill battle to become a father. Surrogate services don't recognise you as an 'intended parent' unless you are in a committed relationship. Coparenting with a straight woman runs the risk of another father figure being involved later down the line. Coparenting with a lesbian couple runs the risk of reduced access and legal issues as you are not automatically included on birth certificate.

If like me, you naturally want 100% access, 100% involvement with the child to live with me, listing on birth  certificate your options are extremely limited. Sometimes I don't think people consider how hard it is to be gay and male and desperate for a child.  If you have money you could consider India, but you'd have to lie about your reasons and your sexuality. If you have between $150,000 and $200,000 you could get it done in US with a surrogacy agency, and donor eggs!

I am so lucky to have a friend I trust. An option for you is to use donor eggs with a female friend/family menber who is willing tobe surrogate for 9months. Then you would be single father. Though  these people don't grow on trees!

best of luck
D


----------



## Londonpapa (Dec 3, 2015)

hi Delta, thanks for your advice. Still looking for!

Thanks


----------

