# Coming home anniversary regression



## roonie (Oct 20, 2010)

Hi my son has been home two years this weekend and he seems to have gone from a very content happy lb to the insecure controlling little one he once was ....I ask him what's making him so angry, he says he feels grumpy. I can't think what is causing this other than its coming to that time of year and perhaps smells, climate etc are triggering this? Does anyone have experience with this happening, lb was a very aware fourteen month old when he came home, he is now just over three and seemed so good until the past week, he is definitley pushing away a lot of the time and then very clingy the rest which is how he was initially, yes the good old push me pull me, any experience or advice greatly received!! Xxx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

We experience similar upheaval in the lead up to when we think conversations about matching started.

For us, it's different behaviour every year but certainly the body remembers. Our way of coping is to down tools and scale back to just outlet family unit. That an make us a bit unpopular but hey our lil guy ones first. We talk aloud about he might have felt (he was pre verbal). We do lots of theraplay type activities and movie date, dog walks just to keep us centered. Slowly but surely we come out the other side (quite often we can become ill too as we're all a bit more susceptible).
Hugs & HTH x


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## roonie (Oct 20, 2010)

Thanks once again for your response Gertie I think your right I try and tighten things up when things get like this if that makes sense,X stick to almost regimented routine and scale back, I just wondered how common people felt this was. Everything leads to a meltdown at the moment along with him being the grown up and not wanting affection as much etc it's so sad, our little man was pretty pre verbal too he had the odd word so it must be so hard for them to make sense of the feelings they had and that come back. I just wish I could do more xxxx


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Yes, we had thus. All of Bug's big moves happened in autumn, so he'd start regressing. We didn't have it this year,  but he did it in summer instead,  LOL!  Back to basics and nurturing and it passes.


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## ritzi (Feb 18, 2006)

roonie - 7 years in and the regression happens, christmas time for us so the worst possible combination of school winding them up for father christmas coming....the he wont come if you are naughty threats from any adult within earshot....

for us we withdraw as a family, tighten our boundaries, spend lots of time together just being and just put up those barriers to the outside world. the boys push against them, remember they are safe, loved and then we see them relax and we too then relax the boundaries again. lots of long walks outside help for us to get rid of the excess energy and any negative stressy legs   

i think it is way more common than people think, we have friends between 10-15 years in, and they still have some regression and struggles around significant dates - even the dates the LO's dont know are significant!


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## notgivingup (Apr 13, 2012)

Our blue LO is 3year 6months and is a little beast to live with at the moment. It's coming up to a year since placement so I'm not sure if it's just an age thing or whether it is genuinely linked to placement. He's extremely controlling and being very aggressive towards me and other kids in nursery. 
His sister has also started to become aggressive in play and distant from us. 
No matter what the reason, it's time to close ranks and suck it up for us


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