# Moving on With Frosties



## Skirtgirl (Mar 17, 2008)

Has anyone evry moved on and said enough is enough and still had frosties?

I have 3 children now,and as a result of divf I have 7 frosties sitting in spain waiting for me. I am over 40 and had a difficult pg and delivery. I always said I would never leave any frosties but I am not sure I could handle another child at the moment(cant believe I am even thinking that) or a cycle for that matter. 
I feel awful that I could potentially have another 7 babies that we had created waiting to be born and that I have adandonned them.
As I have twins I can see how close they are and feel sad that O will never have that.

I know I should got back and try with the frosties but honestly dont think I have the strength. Is that awful??


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## chloe99 (Aug 27, 2008)

ahh skirtgirl  - know just how you feel, i think we have cycled together in the past.

I am 40 nxt year and have 3 children and frosties.  I am so thankful for my 3 and would have loved another one (maybe two   ??).  But my husband is all done, the stress and strain of it all, and I too have a truely horrendous 9 months in pregnancy.

Since he said we are done I cant bring myself to give up the frosties - what if we both dearly want more in a few yrs time?  I've started wondering whether the frostoes are boys or girls, what colour their eyes are.....

No help to you, but just to let you know you're not alone.  I dont think I can sign the "destruction papers" right now, but maybe in a few years time I will be ready?  Can you just put a decision off too?

xx


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## Skirtgirl (Mar 17, 2008)

Hi Chloe thanks for your thoughts, Hard isn't it. I dont have to make any decisions yet the only pressure on me is my age!
My reasons for not wanting any more are totally selfish, I do feel kind of responsible for the frosties we have and cant bear to abandom them.


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## rachel1972 (Jan 2, 2007)

Hi my husband doesnt want anymore children we have one son through icsi and we have 3 frosties left i feel awful as my son is now an only child and these frosties are just sitting there it breaks my heart and being 38 i doubt i will have any children with anyone new.


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## agora (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi, I'm struggling with the same issue.  We now have 2 children and think we are probably done.  Our youngest is only 8 weeks so this isn't a definite decision but is probable.  I'm not sure I can destroy the embryos though.  None of the other options sit easy however.  Has anyone else thought about donating to another couple?  I don't know how I feel about a full genetic sibling to my daughters existing and us knowing nothing about him/her, though I am very clear this wouldn't be my child and I would have signed away any rights.  I honestly don't know what the right decision for us is and wonder what others think?


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## Macmillan (Dec 26, 2006)

Me too. I have 3 blasts left in the freezer.
I am lucky enough to already have 2 beautiful wonderful children both from ICSI treatment, and now think my family is complete, and I have also been told that I need a hysterectomy as I have a prolapse (so carrying another child would be difficult), but I just cannot bring myself to sign the form to let them defrost. I know its ridiculous - I can't have/don't long for another child - but I can't help thinking about the potential of those 3 blasts... genetically all mine and my DH's. I know its selfish but I don't want to donate them - if they are ever going to be children then I would want to see them grow up and not someone else  
I didn't realise this bit would be so hard


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

hi ladies

i am now going through the same.
I have one beautiful miricle daughter and i have tried twice for another but each time ending up in hospital due to infections from haveing my tube drained as i have a hydro in both tubes. I also have to go on alot of immune drugs which really make me ill. I have 3 frosties left.
So the time has come when i have to sign the papers ot pay another £750 for further storage. But i kow i have to let them go as my body just cant go through anymore, the conslt said i would prob not work and i should not really risk my health anymore.
My partner and i have signed the papers, i just have to get the courage to put it in the letter box.
I am so thankful for my one little girl and really need to move on, but its so hard

Thanks for listerning

good luck to all those going through the same

xx


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## Skirtgirl (Mar 17, 2008)

We go through so much to get our children and then we are blessed why is it so hard to stop?
We have a slightly different situation as ours used a donor egg so they are not genetically mine BUT that doesn't make any difference. If they go it will be the last chance we have to give ds a genetic sibling , I am not sure if this matters.  Most of the time I think I am done and I am tbh struggling to keep on top of 3 kids in the way I want to BuT every now and then I just get that tiny feeling that 1 more wont hurt!  DH says he is done but I can see him in a fit of peak booking some flights to spain to go get our frosties!! It doesn't help when the big kids ask when the next baby is coming!!


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

That must be hard. I am lucky at the moment as ellie says she does not like babies all they do is poo and cry. is she hears a baby or todler crying she holds her ears and say i dont like babies. Which is a good job as i really dont think i could have anymore even of we tried, my insides are a total mess, cant even have a hystrectomy to make thing better (endo wise) as its such a mess i would end up losing my bladder and bowel. 
Also tbh i dont have the energy for anymore. i take my hat of to you looking after 3.
Its just the closing of a chapter thats hard and to know that i am getting rid of my last ever chance and to know they are part of us.
I am going to post the letter today and have to try and move on.
We have finally decided to get married so something else to focus on and look forward to

i wish you well with what ever you decide, its so hard.

sarah x


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

Sahara,  Huge huge hugs        and when are we meeting for that coffee??

Shelley xx


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## Chris F (Apr 3, 2005)

I have two beautiful children, and also 2 frosties (which we have just signed to keep in storage until 2015), my husband says he doesn't want anymore but it's the thought of those two embies that are frozen and are potentially little brothers/sisters to our two children.  It may sound harsh but I don't think I could donate them either, it would make me constantly think if whoever received them had successful pregnancies, but it's more the thought of letting them perish.  My daughter was 6 weeks early and they said that any further pregnancies could result in an earlier birth, with more complications we were incredibly lucky that Kate needed very little SCBU help.

It's so hard

Chris


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## Tulip10 (Mar 29, 2005)

It's all so difficult and my heart goes out to you all. I don;t often come on FF anymore, but occasionally when I've had a bad day (like today) and am feeling down I pop in. We have delightful twins, but also had 5 embryos in storage and let them go a couple of years ago. DH adamant no more and so we signed the forms but it broke my heart and took a long time for me to grieve. So unfair that anyone has to make this kind of decision. May 2011 be a good year for you all. x


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

Personally, I would keep frosties in storage even if you do not want to use them right now, and may not want another child in the future, because you never know what might happen in the future.

I don't want to be morbid, but it is a sad fact that some people lose children and some have children that are sick who need things like bone marrow donation.

There is no guarantee that frosties will make babies, but at least it is a chance that you might not have in the furture as the eggs get older.


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## Skirtgirl (Mar 17, 2008)

I think we have definately decided we have enough now and are getting too old to manage any more! I cant stand the thought of destroying thr embies though. I am looking forward to a year where I dont need to think about getting pg or being pg and just be us our little family.


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

Hi Ellie

i had a letter in sept 2010 and they asked me to pay £750 to keep frosties or have to get rid. They were not due to be renewed till feb this year, but as you know i had so many complications the last 2 times i tried to use them and lost time with my little girl being in hospital, so i ad no choice but to let them go. 1, i did not have the money and 2 my body would not take any more treatment.
I have to say i do still think what if sometimes but it is getting easier and i feel so much more settled now, concentrating on what i have got.
I hope you find the same peace too, its not easy but it does get easier with time.

Hopeful Hazel - i have to say that your post is a little unsensertive, not everyone can afford to keep their frosties nor like me are able to have anymore treatment so have no choice. We are all aware of these situations especially with the 1 child, but we have to make the most of what we have

sarah x


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

Sorry Sarah if I have upset you or others - it was just another perspective to take into account when making the choice.


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## charlie61 (Mar 5, 2008)

skirtgirl - I am kind of in the same situation (and remember you and Hopefulhazel from our tx thread!) we have LO but 4 frosties butt are completely at odds as to whether we use them or not, we are so happy with LO and i wonder if 1) would we love number 2 as much and 2) would wehave to sacrifice time with LO for no 2?  I know everyone says you love them differently but equaliy but would we
At the same time i agree with HH and do often think (totally morbid i know!!!!!!) what if sometiong happened to LO and we wheere left with no kids at all!  
I'm totally ion limbo about the next FET if there is to be one!!


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