# Fear of IVF



## dotts (May 10, 2008)

Hi

I'm currently going through "Super ovulation" as my consultant calls it, soon to be taking Letrozole and then potentially pessaries/injections. I've been advised to try this method, with timed intercourse for 6 cycles. If no success I've been advised to go straight to IVF. I'm really scared of IVF and trying to avoid it at the moment, hoping something will work before then. Is it really very invasive, do you need lots of time of work? - the thought of it really scares me. Anyone's experiences, positive or negative would be much appreciated!! x


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Oh hon I dont know where to start. There is such a lot of info out there and although it all seems daunting you have now found a great pile of buddies to help you through the excitement  if it does turn out you may need IVF....and maybe you wont 

Hopefully a mod will come on soon with some great links but I will do my best to give you some info myself.

a guide to IVF http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=59514.0

for people in your area http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=345.0

IVF general chit chat http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=3.0

treatment guide http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=category&sectionid=2&id=10&Itemid=3

peer support...you know for any question you might want to ask... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=186.0

pre treatment http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=423.0

I could go on and on.....

It is daunting I know, believe me, but you will be fine.

On a practical level I can tell you only obviously about my experiences..You have quite a few internal scans, and there are of course injections to administer but it is all so very worth it....a small inconvenience to pay etc. As for time off I really only had 3 main days each cycle (with some odd ones thrown in) as my clinic (Hammersmith) opens at 7am so you can sneak in for scans and blood tests before work even know about you being awol!  Some of the london clinics have their own threads on here (ie Hammersmith is under the ivf chitchat section) where you can talk to people who are at your clinic....

Anyway gotta fly for now as my miracle (yes IVF can work!) needs me downstairs.

Wishing you all the best. And dont forget we are all here!


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## marthah (Apr 7, 2008)

Hi Dotts,
Yes IVF is really invasive - i speak as someone who hates being prodded, hates injections, hates any kind of faffing.... BUT, actually as you do each step you do feel you are making positive progress towards what you really want. And at each stage you learn more about your body and why you found it difficult to conceive naturally in the first instance.
There's lots of talk of failing IVF cycles on here, but the one main positive is that with each knock back you get closer to getting the formula right... and all the ladies i've chatted to on here, some on their 5th and 6th cycles... they all feel more empowered and less helpless in the challenge to become pregnant.... and some are now pregnant!!!

So i wouldn't look at it as a big scary thing, i'd look at it as an exciting step, a new challenge!!! Staying positive is the most important thing, and this site is good for chatting about each stage and how you are feeling so you are never alone.   
You might be lucky enough though not to need IVF if your other method works - keep positive Dotty!

As for time off work - that really depends on how close you live/work to the chosen clinic.
I work really close to my clinic and i've only had 2 days off [ for Egg Collection and Egg Transfer days ] because all other appointments i've managed to do before work [they operate 7am - 9am appointments at some clinics] ... so its worth checking out routine times and locations before signing up somewhere.

Good luck in the quest, be brave... as fortune favours the bold!

Mxx


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## siamese (Nov 26, 2007)

Hi dotts

I can understand your apprehension of IVF or any other fertility treatment, but for me I found the thought of treatment far more scary than actually having it.  I had 4 rounds of 'super ovulation' IUI treatment before I had IVF.  Although the IUI didn't work for me, I found it was like a trial run for IVF.  I wasn't as phased by the injections with IVF as I had used them with the IUI.  The actual medication and treatment (scans) etc I found were not the scary part for me.  It was the thought of the emotional side effect of whether it would work for me that I found hard to cope with and there is a lot of waiting for scans and the 2 week wait to see if you have been successful.  As to whether you have time off work is a personal choice.  I worked in an area where it really wasn't conducive to work and have treatment, so I had a medical certificate to cover me during all treatment.

I personally found all the staff very sympathetic towards the treatment i.e. scans, so didn't find it too invasive.

I hope the super ovulation works well for you, best of luck

Siamese x


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## brownowl23 (Jan 3, 2006)

Dotts

I have to be the biggest wuss on this site. I have a severe fear of hospitals, injections and everything. But that said I did IVF twice in London and Donor Egg IVF twice in South Africa. 

The scans are internal but are not painful and I expect you will be having these for your super ovulation cycles too. The drugs are given by injection that you do yourself and most clinics give you injector pens which make the process far less daunting.
The Egg collection is generally done under sedation, or perhaps even General anastethic dependant on your clinic> me I was so scared of the sedation I did mine without any painkillers or sedation. YEs you did read that right!!!!! 
I found the process to be uncomfortable not painful, but I do know I have a high pain threshold. I mean when I eventually fell pregnant I didnt know I was in labour!!!

If I can do it as a hospital phobic and happily tell the tale then you'll sail through it, but if you need somone to talk to just PM me

Chris


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## dotts (May 10, 2008)

thanks for all your advice. Today is a low day for me. Feeling fat and depressed on noresthisterone tabs which i've been taking for 10 days now - finish at the weekend. Everywhere i turn there's something about babies or infertility. There was an article in the guardian today about how children should now be taught about inferility in sex ed classes not just about avoiding getting pregnant. I know hind sight is a great thing, but if i knew 5 years ago what i know now...

Anyway, new question for anyone. Has anyone had the experience of a husband/partner who isn't very keen on IVF. Although my husband is ok with me doing super ovulation or IUI he says he doesn't yet know how he feels about IVF and whether he wants me to go through it. Part of the reason being he doesn't want me to have to go through the ordeal but also becuase he feels it's messing with nature. I understand his first point but feel if i'm prepared to put myself through it (despite being scared) isn't that enough?? But messing with nature - aren't we doing that already with all the drugs i'm taking. If we leave it up to fate there's no way we'll ever have kids!!

Anyone got any advice?


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## ClaryRose (Jan 26, 2006)

hi dotts

Sorry to hear your dilemma.  I can only paint the picture from my own experience.  We were told we would need IVF tohave a child.  Neither of us were very happy with this as we both believed it was 'messing with nature' and fate and what will be will be. etc etc etc.  10 years later (and older) despite having tried manymany things to do something else (other than have a family) I am now contemplating egg donation as I am now too old to usemy own eggs....... now that is seriously messing with nature and the child won't even be of genetic descendence....  Wanting a child doesn't go away, despite all attempts, in my case anyway and I am pretty sensible, robust, can be called stoic and head ruled rather than heart ruled...... so my advice is if you want a child, do it while you are young as possible.  We can achieve all kinds of things but turning back the years is not one of them and a woman has only finite years to do this.

IVF is only bypassing the tubes and ensuring the embryo is strong before placing into the womb - its probably the least 'messing with nature' of any of this infertility 'conveyer belt' there is.............   it is a slippery slope and along the way you end up contemplating many options you would never have possibly considered in the pursuit of parenthood.  I would advise anyone to fulfil their dreams to be a parent as soon as possible and not leave it until it is too late and where your options are diminishing fast  , to where we are now. 

Good luck in your journey
x


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## dotts (May 10, 2008)

thank you clary, all wise words. Egg donation is something i've thought about to, if it comes to it, but god knows what DH will think of that one!!


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## dotts (May 10, 2008)

Martha, thanks for your message, I tried to reply but your inbox is full. This is what I worte:

Martha

Thanks so much for your message. I over analyse everything anyway so this is no different. But what a great piece of advice. You're right, there are so many idiots out there who treat their children so badly and don't appreciate what they have - if some of us have to fight to become good and worthwhile parents then so be it. Next time we discuss it i shall tell him he's doing his bit for mankind!!

Congrats on your BFP - i hope it all goes well!!


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## marthah (Apr 7, 2008)

ha ha! yes - just watch any episode of the Jeremy Kyle show and you'll know you are doing the right thing!!! Good luck xx


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## ClaryRose (Jan 26, 2006)

Its a whole different thing - with this journey one can become obsessed with getting pregnant and not think about the resulting child - which is theissue, I think, with egg donation.  My DH believes if we are going to do it  - to do it anonymously - where thechild has no recourse to find their genetic 'mother' whereas I believe it is a childs right to be able to trace (if they wanted to) and records allowing them to doso.....................I really hope your treatment works whatever you decide before getting toDE. Hopeyou never haveto get to that one...........

Have youtried any alternative therapies?  Always worth a shot and if onlyto relax and get you through this time.  Relaxation is key and that you can't fake! so a course of reflexology or acupuncture may be worth a try

good luck


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## siamese (Nov 26, 2007)

Dotts - I have to admit my DH was supportive of IUI and IVF.  However I do feel that isn't taking contraception 'messing with nature' too?.  I think it is tough to start with to think that IVF is the next step especially if it goes against ones beliefs. I am so grateful to the IVF system as I'm not sure I would ever have got pregnant otherwise. I just feel that IVF was just a medium to help me get pregnant and as someone has just pointed out the only difference between IUI and IVF is that you are by passing your tubes.  

Maybe your DH just needs a little time to get used to the idea, and he may feel bad that you are the one that is mainly affected by it, especially if you have already discussed with him any fears you may have about it. 

Wishing you all the best 

Siamese


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