# What would you have liked to know before you started Surrogacy?



## sazzasarah (Jun 29, 2010)

Hello all, 

I just got the results back from my latest miscarriage.  Same results as before, it was a genetically normal baby, but I was not able to carry it to term. We think we will now start to open the door towards surrogacy, we have been thinking about it for a while but now is the time to start.

I know about searching and getting yourself out there and asking advice and everything, and I'm looking forward to finding out more.

Just wondered -  for those of you that have been on this path for a while (both as IPs or as surrogates), is there anything you would have liked to have known when you were right at the start, like me?  Anything unexpectedly good, or bad, about the journey? Any advice?

Think of it as sending a message to your own younger, more inexperienced self!


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi

Good luck with your surrogacy plans.

Do make sure you get to grips with the legal issues from the outset - it can make all the difference and really help to give you peace of mind. Have a look at my new website www.porterdodsonfertility.com - it has lots of information, articles and social media about surrogacy law to get you started.

All the best

LouGhevaert

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## Lorenzo77 (Aug 8, 2011)

Hi there,


congrats (just for choosing something to do next ) 
If you're married and coming from a "surrogacy friendly" country, Intersono in Ukraine seems very good. I'm going for "la vita felice" which fits my needs, my budget and being single, it seems the only choice.

I have also just started a discussion requesting tips and info. Let me know if you get some insighful replies.

Best of luck
L.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi lorenzo I see you mention that you are single, I am too but have a kd for sperm, are you in the uk? As legally I have found this a minefield! Wishing you luck on your journey xx


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## parma violet (Aug 22, 2008)

Hi all
I am thinking of going to Intersono in the Ukraine, I am worried about all the legal stuff it doesn't seem that straight forward if you are returning to the UK with your babies. I wouldn't mind getting legal advice first but don't have the money. it would be really good to share this very complicated journey with you all. Maybe we should start by sharing all the info we find. hi JJ1 i think I sent you a couple of PMs a while ago.
px


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi parmaviolet

Do be careful if you are going to the Ukraine for surrogacy and not getting legal advice, especially if funds are short, because you could end up stuck without the means to get things sorted out - I've seen it happen and it's so distressing.  You'll need to grapple with the immigration authorities in Kiev to get the clearance to get home (and they aren't usually very supportive or speedy), looking after a new baby in the Ukraine while you wait, possibly medical care issues while you are out there (which can be expensive) and sorting out your legal status as the parents when you get home (this involves a High Court application - you can deal with this yourselves, but it is demanding and not something to be taken lightly).

Have you looked at doing surrogacy in the UK?  It's often much more achievable than people realise and the legalities are sooo much more straightforward.  

Natalie


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## SandraNL (Jun 11, 2010)

Hi,

For me surrogacy was one big illusion. We have been suffering from repeated miscarriages also (in combination with IVF) and in two of the miscarriages the foetus was still alive (we are not sure if that was the same with the other miscarriages). After having so many failed IVF attempts after the miscarriages we had to give up and went to La Vita Felice in the Ukraine.

In the beginning they were nice and we have discussed the contract into detail. During our first surrogacy attempt it appeared that I had one follicle, but I wasn't able to cancel this attempt (which is crazy, as in my country they cancel with 3 or less follicles). During the second attempt they recommended us an egg donor also. We had an egg donor who had 25 (!) follicles and 20 eggs, which is way too much (in Europe you are only a suitable donor with 10-15 follicles). The more eggs you have, the less quality might be. 

Our fear became true: we only had 3 embryo's of very bad quality, but our surrogate became pregnant. The 7 week ultrasound proved that the surrogate had a miscarriage. We weren't even informed about her bleedings. Afterwards I discovered a lot of woman that experienced exactly the same with several clinics in the Ukraine. So was our surrogate pregnant? We are not sure about that.

The clinic neglected our complaints. They just told us that the sperm was the problem. We had several miscarriages ourselves, so that was their prove that it wasn't due to an unsuitable donor. But they haven't read our file properly, because two of the miscarriages were not due to sperm, because the foetus was still alive.

After a long discussion for months we decided to start a new attempt, but suddenly we had to pay 2.500 euros again for searching a new surrogate. Our contract said that we were able to do three attempts, but they just told us that it was a mistake in the contract. The Russian version said two attempts and the Russion version was leading. 

We were absolutely not amused and didn't know what to do anymore. We decided not to trust any clinic in the Ukraine anymore, because of all negative stories we have read. In the meanwhile I have been doing more research about the problems of having repeated miscarriages and found a doctor abroad who could help me. I was convinced that once being pregnant there must be medication to stay pregnant. 

We went to the same clinic for egg donation, while my stimulation always has been very low and we got the feeling that this time they would do their best. During the second attempt we had a doctor who didn't communicate at all to us and was pretty rude, but this time the doctor was nice, polite and kept us informed. The only thing that is annoying is that it was the second doctor in the same clinic that helped us and was pretty pregnant.

The result: I am now 18,5 weeks pregnant thanks to all the medication my doctor prescribed me (prednisolone, Intralipide, antibiotics, Trental and Clexane) and thanks to a suitable donor this time. And we are now sure: their wasn't a problem with the sperm at all! So please consider visiting an immune expert if you haven't been doing that before. It might save you thousands of euros, a lot of hassle and you might be pregnant yourself. I found this doctor in Germany, but I also have read excellent references about a clinic in Athens (Serum). 

Have you ever read the book 'Is my body baby-friendly' of Alan Beer?It explains why woman do suffer from repeated miscarriages while their baby is healthy and which treatments are possible.

In case you are emotionally not able to give it a try again, please check the Russian version of the contract into detail. Please find yourself a local doctor to doublecheck the medications, because my doctor in the Ukraine made a mistake with this (due to the fact that their English is pretty bad). And last but not least: La Vita Felice told us that it was not a problem at all to get your baby home, it will just take a few weeks for the Netherlands. How wrong were they! About a year ago they had their first Dutch couple and they have waited for more than 6 months to get their babies home and it cost them a fortune on lawyers. 

Be prepared for a complicated journey and have a lot of patience. Be very critical about everything. La Vita Felice told us that we were very critical customers and despite that, we have the feeling that they lied about the pregnancy. I guess our surrogate wasn't pregnant at all due to the embryo's of bad quality, but that they just wanted to give the positive feeling so we would do a third attempt.

Sandra


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## LouGhevaert (May 18, 2009)

Hi

If you're seriously thinking about going abroad for surrogacy (including Ukraine) you need to take great care. Aside from the conception and treatment arrangements there are some really complicated legal issues to get to grips with. Getting the right travel papers to get home safely can be an uphill battle and this needs to be handled carefully and thorougly. The British Embassy in Kiev will usually require a DNA test to prove a biological link with your baby and this can take time and effort to arrange in itself.

You will also need to obtain a parental order from the English court to obtain legal parenthood and parental responsibility for your baby and extinguish the legal status of your surrogate for English legal purposes. You must meet all of the legal criteria and follow the correct legal procedure, which is complex in international surrogacy cases. Do check out the information about international on my multi-media website and make sure you obtain specialist legal advice http://www.porterdodsonfertility.com/?page_id=8.

Best of luck

LouGhevaert

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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