# Help! & Advice!!-Am I too old? is it too soon to give up on my own eggs at 43??



## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Help! 

I thought I knew what I needed to do next...Egg donation....but after reading many of the posts on here-- I think I maybe reconsidering trying another cycle of my own eggs......
Im 43, and just had a couple of cycles of IVF at Sheffield Hallamshire, ( 9 eggs/6 fertilised/3 good embryos transferred)-BFN ( 5 eggs/4 fertilised/2good embryos transferred)- BFN
My consultants ( both of them) more-or-less said give up and go for an egg donor- even though I had no problems and sailed through the treatment  textbook responses and produced good quality embryos.....
Does anyone have an opinion theyd like to share about this?

Im a bit confused!  

Karen- Grimsby


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## Danni (Aug 25, 2004)

hi Karen
sorry for all you are having to go though
You seem to make a decent amount of embies-have you considered PGD? Older women embies might look very good under a microscope but are essentially abnormal so PGD would sort out the normal and abnomal one. I never had PGd but went onto DE treatment despite having good embies transferred everytime. Well, it did not work after the second attempt so I had immunetesting done, only then did my de cycle work. My precious dd is almost 4. Amazingly despite being a poor responder I conceived naturally a couple of months after I had her and have another 2yr old.

You might also consider immunetesting done. You are a good responder and embiequality is good so Ill einvestigate further. You are 43, not too old but if you leave it anoter 2 or 3 years it might be too old. Not many clinics in the UK accept women over 44, thats what Ive read but I hope things work out for you
I hope saomeone else have another solution for you. My dd is the best thing that happened to us and we would not have her if I did not have DE treatment but i had several failed attempt with my own eggs and just got fed up and went onto dE-but no regrets at all, I was a poor responder too unlike you
hope you find some more answers and best of luck in any decision you make
Danni xxx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi Danni

Oh thanks for the comments- its great to hear other peoples stories, your story has a lovely ending, its nice to hear and gives others hope- thanks for sharing it- Im going to ask about immune testing thing- I have decided to have one last try with my own eggs before going for Egg donation... so Im going to make sure I have the right treatment at the right clinic...Im not sure if my clinic is the best one( Jessops -Sheffield) they are very good- but after the 2 attempts Ive already had- they are ready to give up on me!

MMMM will give it some thought!

Karen x


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## Happiness07 (Aug 16, 2007)

Hi , 
I too am a hopeful 43yr old though you'd think I would be somewhat jaded by now. I respond well , like you and presumably you too have a good ovarian reserve and I think the PGS is a good idea since genetic abnormalities are the killers for our age group. I will try 2 more times with own eggs then donor eggs! I just want a baby and would prefer my own but who knows how and when and why it will happen...
I wish you equal success !


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hello Happiness07!

thanks for your comments, you sound like youre having a really tough time- that must have been a really disappointing having 12 eggs and none fertilizing- Im gutted for you! 
I have definately decided to try once more with my own- and then go down the egg donor route- I dont want to keep feeling fed up...The roller coaster of emotions you go through is pretty stressfull. 
We'd all prefer babies with our own eggs...but sometimes its just not to be... How do you feel about the donor route?
I read somewhere that although the genetic material of donor babies may not be your own, the mother who carries the baby has a massive imprint on the baby, after all the blood and cells are all supplied by the host mother, and the sounds, moods, and general character of the mother has a big impact on the baby- thats a nice thought! 

Good luck with your next treatments,
I'll look out and see how you get on

Karen


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Right!

Ive made a decision! 

I have now booked an appointment for DE treatment in Russia! 

I just decided I dont want to have another round of IVF- its not a pleasant experience, and even if I get pregnant- the chances of carrying to full term without problems or even abnormalties are small- so Ive decided to go down the donor route after all.
Reading all the responses and threads on FF has helped my decision a great deal 
I have booked in November with AVA peter in St Petersburg, Russia, Ive read a couple of good threads about the good treatment there- so I thought Id give it a go!

Here goes! will keep ya posted!

Karen


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## Happiness07 (Aug 16, 2007)

Hi Lily17,
What great news that you're going for DE straight away - one thing is for sure , your chance of successful pregnancy is SO much higher than on other recent occasions and that is exciting! You are right that by carring the baby , you are imprinting yourself onto him/her! I'm very excited for you - do you have to wait over there? We had our appointmen with Dr Abdullah at the Lister and he advised to have another go with own eggs but he said if we could only afford one go then to go straight to DE-we've made an appointment with the DE IVF nurse though the 18-24month wait is not good really.Because I'm Asian I would have to go to Turkey or India - got to research more!
So I begin the pill this month once period starts and will do a short protocol this time in Novomenber-it's so short that it's quite an intresting idea that I could be pregnant for Christmas! The problem is that when I say that it doesn't feel real anymore after so many disappointments but who knows now we are using ICSI then hopefully it will be a better fertilisation rate!!
Karen we deserve our babies and let's hope that they come soon with not too much emotional/physical/financial cost!!!


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hello happiness07 

Oh thats great for you- its so expensive isnt it?...I hope you have some good results this time- 
You can get really cheap ED treatment in India- I think there are really good successes so if you end up having to go there you should have no problem- there is no waiting list there- I have read some of the threads on here. 
Lots of the overseas clinincs have no waiting lists for DE- or very little compared to the UK- The problem is here in the UK the donors arent paid anything so there is no incentive at all... I think I would hesitate to donate eggs now I know what is involved- its a huge commitment.
I also looked on some of the american sites- its Big business over there- you can even watch videos of the girls who donate to chose the one you want- its like a dating site or something!!-very strange! but no waiting!
Yes- researchh is the key! - reading some of the threads on here is very good as so many woman have different views and expereinces, it is very informative and really helped me make my decision to go for DE treatment
I had the short protocol-the last time I have IVF in the UK- at Sheffield - I had scan on first or 2nd day of period- then injections for around 14 days, then, egg collection, then transfer on around day 18/19...BFN though so disappointing...... 
I have my appointment in Russia on 25th November- just an inital consultation- its a long way to go- but I have read good things about it- so I am booking flights now!
Talk soon
Karen x


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## lucymorgan (Nov 2, 2007)

Hi everyone, I thought I'd add my thoughts to this thread having started down the DE route.

I had 2 m/cs in 2006, couldn't get pregnant in 2007 until I had GIFT at the end of 2007, I got pregnant and then again a m/c early 2008.  The tests on the last show a chromosome abnormality and I booked in for DE in October.  Having had m/cs I am certain it is all to do with the egg quality, my eggs are too old which is a real shame.

My first DE cycle at Reprofit was a BFN and I was very disappointed.  The odds are so much higher than with my eggs but aren't guaranteed and I have recognised that it may take me 3 cycles to get a BFP.  I have managed, with a fair wind and a lot of good luck and determination, to arrange another DE cycle  in Athens and I am off for ET on Friday.  I pray it works, I feel very positive.  But I know its not guaranteed and I may have to go for the 3 cycles I have set as my limit.

There are loads of good clinics to go for and you need to work out what your priority is.  I have chosen places which are very well priced and have good contact people as thats important to me.  I have changed clinic as Reprofit cant see me again until Feb / March and I don't want to wait that long.

Hope this helps.

LucyMxx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi Lucy

Great to hear your view- good luck in Athens- it must have been soooooo disappointing to get a BFN after DE treatment- we all think its going to work first time round- but its a reality check when it doesnt- its also a big expense- we've already spent £6000+ and are about to spend more...... 
Im going to St Petersburg on 24th Nov. Im encouraged by 2 ladies on here who have both had BFP at the clinic Im going to very recently- in fact one of them just gave birth last month!- I gives you hope---at least some one is having success!!

Let us know how you get on! 

Love Karen x


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