# Single Newbies Welcome Thread - post here to get started!



## some1

Hello!

After Misti's post the other day I thought it might be helpful to have a welcome thread for any single women who are not sure where to start posting.  We have so many threads on here now it must be pretty daunting for anyone new - I know I lurked for months before I dared to post!

So, if you are new and reading this, please feel free to post - we are a very welcoming bunch !  

Some1

xx


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## Sima

Hi Some1

Thanks for setting up this thread.  I have been on these boards for about a month now but I am still not too sure about finding my way around it.  To date I have tried to just jump into conversations but then quickly drop off again.  I guess it doesn't help that I keep odd hours so that all of the conversations have moved on by the time I've joined.  

Anyway I will be heading to Stratford tomorrow and I think it will be much easier once I have put some faces to the names.

Even though I haven't posted much I must say that I have found these boards really helpful and I have been given some good advice.

Thanks Again

Sima


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## some1

Hello Sima

I know what you mean about finding it hard to keep up with conversations!  There are so many of us on here now and so many threads it can be a bit mind blowing can't it!

There are no rules on these threads though so feel free to just jump in on any thread - or start your own if you have a question/point that doesn't fit into any of the existing ones.

Look forward to meeting you at Stratford tomorrow!

Some1

xx


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## suitcase of dreams

This thread is a great idea Some1, hopefully it will help newcomers to feel more at home

I wonder if we should make it sticky so it's always visible - perhaps Lou could help with that?

Look forward to meeting you tomorrow Sima - it's definitely easier to keep up with the chat on here once you've met a few folk face to face

Laura
x


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## Sima

Laura - A sticky sounds like a good idea.  That way people can jump into this thread or start one of their own.
Congratulations on your positive result.  I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Some1 it's nice to read you also have a bun in the oven. It's positive news like this which will push me forward in this journey even though I know it is going to be tough.

It looks like we should be on for some good weather tomorrow. 

Sima


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## dottiep

Sima - look forward to meeting you tomorrow.  I echo what Laura has said - it's definitely easier once you've met people...

Dottie
xx


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## madmisti

Hi Some1!!

What a good idea  

So sorry I can't be at Stratford meeting today - hope you are having fun as I write this  

I met a few FF ladies on my recent vist to Reprofit, but they were all couples - would be nice to meet some singlies - hope I canmake the nbext meet-up  

Take care
Misti x


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## Jazzie

Hello All,

Finally decided to come out and introduce myself.

As my signature says I have been single for 3 years, and have been thinking about going it alone for some time.  I'm still really only at the thinking stage and there are so many other considerations, including my financial situation.  Ideally I would say forget the finances, but it just isn't possible.  Still I feel like here is the right place for me to be at this time, even if I stay here for a year and nothing has changed, at least I'll be up to date with the information available and will have it to hand when I am ready to go.

I look forward to speaking to you all.

Claire
x


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## suitcase of dreams

Welcome Claire...lovely to have you here

Jump in and post wherever, and hope to meet you in person at the next get together too  

Suitcase
x


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## dottiep

Welcome Claire! Feel free to ask anything...

Dottie
x


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## some1

Hello Claire - Welcome to our threads !  I was like you and spent a lot of time thinking before going ahead with treatment - this is definitely a great place to get information.

Some1

xx


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## winky77

Hello Claire, 

A big welcome to you....and I'm glad you've felt able to post!  I look forward to getting to know you on the boards and hopefully in person at some point! 

...Winky


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## Jazzie

Thank you all for your lovely welcome.  

Hopefully I will be able to make one of the get togethers, would certainly be nice to meet you all.

Claire
x


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## Sima

Hi Claire

Welcome to the boards.  Do feel free to ask any question which comes to mind.  Everyone on here is really helpful.  I too  am a great thinker and I just wish I had started out down this road earlier.  

You will get lots of great advice here.

Sima x


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## Lou-Ann

Hi Claire, welcome to the board  

Lou-Ann x


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## Lucy-Lou

Hello all

I don't even know if I have done this right!!  I am feeling a bit   but I'm sure I'll get the hang of this in the end and I have a really good feeling about this.  I REALLY NEED to chat to people in the same boat as me who understand before I go a bit  !

Briefly, I have had IUI treatment in Denmark once back in April.  I had a positive result but miscarried after only a few days.  Since then everything has been a bit scew-if with cycles and ovulation etc.  Am having 5 and 21 day blood tests this cycle to see what is going on.

It is heartening to hear about success stories, good for you, am so pleased for you, it gives the rest of us hope during what can be a confusing, hard and often lonely journey.

Must say, am flummoxed by some abbreviations used a lot but I guess I will get used to all that.

I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all a bit and maybe meeting some of you.  I get the feeling there are some sort of support days that take place fairly regularly?  I would be very interested in going to one if anyone can let me know when the next one is.

Lucy-Loux


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## suitcase of dreams

Hi Lucy-Lou,

And welcome to the single girls thread  The women here are a fantastic source of support and information, so you're in the right place!

Do ask if there are any abbreviations etc which you don't get - before you know it, you'll be throwing them around like the rest of us 

We try to get together every 3-4 months. Next big meet up is planned for December/January - check out the thread on this here: 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=156406.0;viewResults

But we also meet up more spontaneously in small groups too....so I'm sure you'll get a chance to meet with us soon,
Meantime, good luck with the tests - hope your cycles get sorted out soon, and I'm sorry to hear about your early miscarriage last time round

Suitcase 
x


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## some1

Hello Lucy-Lou

Welcome to our threads!  So sorry to hear about your previous miscarriage, hope the blood tests go well this cycle. 

Feel free to just dive in and post on any of the threads/ask questions we are all very friendly.

Hope to see you at a meet up soon !

Some1

xx


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## Lucy-Lou

Hi Suitcase,

Thanks for the welcome and help with that thread - see, I didn't know what a thread was 15 minutes ago!!  I will look forward to chatting with you over the course of time and getting to know you

Lucy-Loux


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## dottiep

Hi Lucy-Lou

Welcome to our world.  Just ask if there's anything you don't understand.  Good luck with your treatment.

Dottie
x


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## suitcase of dreams

Lucy-Lou,

You'll see we have lots of threads here! Can be hard to keep up sometimes...although it does help once you've met people and can put a face to the name....

There is a thread for IUI here:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=154693.45;topicseen

And for those of us having tx (treatment!) abroad here:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=156348.15

But of course feel free to jump in wherever you like - most of us post all over the place

I've also sent you a PM - at the top of the page on the right it tells you you have a new message - click on that and you'll go to the message. You can then hit reply to send one back - that just goes between the two of us and isn't public - which the rest of the site is....

Suitcase
x


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## Lucy-Lou

Hi some1

I feel absolutely   for you.  Well done you clever girl, very exciting!  I hope I can get to know about what you did, where etc as I am not entirely sure I can keep going back to Denmark for my treatment.  I think there are more options out there than I first thought during my intitial research.

Lucy-Loux


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## lulumead

hello lucy-lou!

xx


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## Lucy-Lou

Hi Lulumead, hi Dottie

Nice to meet you!

Lucy-Loux


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## Maya7

Hi there

Just wanted to introduce myself and thought I'd jump in here...Have been attending LWC since last year...l've had 3 IUIs - all BFNs - the first unmedicated the others medicated. Time is against me (41) so have decided to go to IVF.  Finances are scaring me and I have the very real possibility of redundancy at end of the year - i have new mortgage to manage and am single and wondering how things can possibly work out well...I will be having a scan  - later this week possibly - to see if its all good to go this month.  Oh and just to complicate things a bit more, i live in Dublin and will have to flyto London for treatment...Am feeling the stress but trying to keep +ve..

S.


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## dottiep

Hi Sharon

Hello & welcome!
Like you I had 3 IUI's at LWC before moving on to IVF (am 43 so a bit older than you).  I can totally empathise with how you are feeling as it's a big step & a big financial outlay.  There are a few of us having treatment this month so look forward to seeing you the 2ww thread & the bumps & babies thread!

Dottie
x


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## ♥JJ1♥

lucy-lou welcome so sorry to hear of your m/c I really hope that your treatment works out


Sharon- good luck with the treatment there is one other lady from Ireland orchidage on the single babes and bumps page.

L x


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## Lucy-Lou

Hi Patterdale,

Thanks for your welcome and words - very pleased for you!  You say you had Clomid - what exactly is that becuase I may need it!  Only my GP has told me that I may not get hormone treatment such as this on NHS because I am single - did you have to  pay privately for this?  If you don't mind me asking?

Hi Sharon

The mid-wife at the clinic in Denmark where i have been said that it can take 6 or 7 times with IUI before success.  As you have probably seen on the profiles on this forum, others have been in the same boat as you with IUI attempts being unsuccessful but have gone on to get pregnant with IVF.  It is a big outlay, especially with your extra concerns with your job etc, but I'm sure would be definately worth a go if you possibly can.  And yes, keep positive!

Nice to meet you and good luck

Lucy-Loux


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## Lucy-Lou

Hello L,

Well, you have been through a lot on your journey so far.  You will have to tell me about Barcelona when you have a chance.  Good to meet you and wishing you lots of luck  

Lucy-Loux


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## Lucy-Lou

Hello Lou

Oh my god, what a gorgeous boy you have!!  That is what makes it all worthwhile isn't it!!

Lucy-Loux


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## Lucy-Lou

Thanks Patterdale,

I will see what my tests reveal this month and do a bit more research I think!!

Lucy-Loux


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## Damelottie

Welcome Sharon and Lucy xxxx


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## madmisti

Welcome LucyLou and Sharon  

Sharon - have you considered looking at the option of having treatment abroad - there are lots of women on here doing so and you can get loads of info, ask questions etc. It is much cheaper. If you look in the index you will see a thread for treatment abroad and it has lots of sub boards for all the different countries. Since you are effectively 'going abroad' for treatment anyway, having to fly to UK etc, might be worth looking. Also as you are single, guessing you need donor sperm and there is a waiting list in UK - not abroad. Just a thought


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## Maya7

Thanks Patterdale - I've often told others that things have a way of working out for the best...I just needed to hear it myself today.. 

Fingers crossed I'll be good to go this month.  I had a cyst after the last unsuccessful cycle so hope it  has cleared and I can go headlong  into the next rollercoaster journey...

S.


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## Roo67

Belated welcome to Lou and Sharon

Sharon - I had a few cysts along the way, one that needed open surgery to remove, the other disapeared with BCP for a month. hope you are good to go this cycle, it is so frustrating having to wait isn't it.

Lucy - E is gorgeous isn't he, even more scrummy in real life.  Lets hope we'll all get our little bundle of joy in the coming months.

Roo xx


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## winky77

Hello!  
I've been awol for a few days and it's great to see some new newbies! 
Big Welcome to LucyLou and Sharon!  

I've been posting for about 10months now but still remember how confused I was by everything at the beginning...particularly the abbreviations.....but believe me it soon becomes like a second language!  Just keep asking.... we've also had a few laughs when some of us have got the wrong end of the stick on something...! 

We all understand the dilemmas about to do when and where with treatment. I too have travelled cos not many wrigglies up here in Scotland!  I've had an IUI and one IVF at LWC and I'm going back for frosties next week to London again.  And have paid some extra to have scans locally...cheaper than a flight!  If the frosties don't work..I'll be going to the Czech republic.....a lot of us end up there at some point! 

Look 4ward to getting to know you both...xx

...Winky


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## Maya7

Hi Everyone

Yes Misty - I am actually wondering if i should consider going further abroad for treatment...the LWC option is expensive but as there would be information about the donor I have pursued this.  I wanted to have the possibility of offering as much information as possible to my child about the other part of their makeup when this is possible.  I was therefore hoping to avoid the anonymous route...I may have to reconsider this though...

What is the situation in Czech Republic anyone? ...
Shaz


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## suitcase of dreams

Shaz,

If you go the Czech route, where donors are anonymous, you can choose to import sperm from European Sperm Bank (Denmark) to CZ. That way you can have a known donor and get quite a lot of info about them, but also have tx in a cheaper country. I think with the costs of sperm the tx is still cheaper than LWC (who are, sadly, one of the most expensive with the exception of places like ARGC which cost more because they do so much more monitoring/bloodwork etc)

I had prices somewhere for European sperm bank, can't find them now but will look them up. Winky has also looking into this and Mini the Minx got her sperm there....so it's definitely do-able.

Suitcase
x


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## Maya7

Hi suitcase

I had checked out the European Sperm bank...I paid out E100 to be able to look at all the information on all the donors - baby photos, even audio tapes... It made me cringe/smile when i received my credit card bill and it had EUROPEAN SPERM BANK plastered all over it in big bold letters... 

Maybe I should rethink but I was under enough stress from other directions I didnt want the hassle of the importation etc...

Shaz


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## Mifi

Hello, I'm new to FF and would love to join the single ladies group if that is ok   As you can see from my signature I have aready been through 2 IVF cycles, OHSS and a m/c just 10 weeks ago and I am about to start IUI with anon SD. Aunt flo is now 5 days late, so waiting for that to start so I can book my baseline and I can start stimms.

Not feeling great though I think I may still be grieving but I don't believe that will ever stop so I have made the decision to start treatment a.s.a.p with the hope that I will gain another BFP and it will take away the pain of my loss. I am completely terrified though and at times I don't know how I am going to cope with it all, although I have chosen to do this I am now really struggling with being totally alone even though I managed to cope through IVF twice completely alone and IUI shouldn't be as hard but I'm now struggling that there is noone to hold my hand   I feel like a child wanting someone to hold my hand but I have noone to ask - I hurt all the time and am not sleeping just don't no what to do anymore   maybe i'm just nervous perhaps??

Can anyone help?

Thanks x


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## madmisti

Hi Full Moon and welcome 

So sorry you are feeling so alone - keep reading and posting here hun, you will get lots of support. I am fairly new here too and already feel part of the family. I mainly post on the Reprofit Clinic boards as that is where I am having treatment. Have you checked to see if your clinic has a thread of its own? There are also regional boards so find yours - you may be able to meet up with some ladies local to you, or having treatment at same clinic - they may not be single like us, but I think you'll find that even those with partners like to meet up with other women as their partners can't really know exactly what us ladies go through, how we feel etc!

The single ladies do meet up sometimes, though I haven't been to one yet. I am in East Sussex, so if you are anywhere near there, I would happily meet up with you!

It is  tough doing this alone, but try and visualise the end result -a gorgeous baby in your arms  We all get very low days, but support and encourage each other thru this wonderful community. You are not alone in spirit sweetheart.

Big hugs 
Love
Misti x


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## Mifi

Many thanks Misty, I am based in Jersey CI but do hope to fly over to the UK to meet with FF soon   Thankyou for your kind words I know this will pass probably just need to cry it out - just feel I have been chewed up and spat out!!! Maybe once treatment starts I will feel more positive, it hasn't helped also as one of my best friends have just had a baby girl and although I am over the moon for her and hubby it does really tug at the heart strings  I'm worried my emotions will prevent me from getting pregnant again  I know must think positive 

Looks like we are both having treatment this month so please keep in touch and let me know how things are going for you    

Take care 
Love FM xx


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## madmisti

Hi FM

Aghh - always hard when friends and family have their babies - sometimes feels like everyone but you has the perfect husband and baby/children, and can feel very unfair. Don't be too hard on yourself - what you feel is totally normal.

As for feeling negative affecting your chances - that is just adding something else to beat yourself up over!This whole TTC journey is tough on the emotions and reallty takes it toll, particularly when you are going it alone. So it is natural there will be low times, and I don't believe feeling that way affects your chance of conceiving. And look at it this way, at least you are being pro-active and DOING something to try and achieve your dream.  Hang in there sweetheart - this will pass, especially once you get going with treatment.

Shame you are so far away, but if you need to chat, I will PM you my phone number.

Be gentle with yourself
Hugs  
Misti xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Full Moon,

Big   to you. This is a long and difficult journey we have chosen and I always remind myself when I'm feeling low that I wouldn't have got here if I wasn't a strong and capable person to start with. It's amazing how much you can get through when you put your mind to it.

I'm so sorry to hear of your m/c. I haven't been in that situation and really hope not to be but being very newly pregnant I can imagine how it must feel to think it's worked and then to have that dream shattered. Do you have anyone you can talk to? A counsellor at your clinic for example? It might just help. And of course feel free to share here - we all have our ups and downs and the beauty of FF, and especially here on Single Girls thread is that we all understand exactly how hard it is.

My friends and family have been supportive throughout, but it's not the same as having a bunch of people who are actually experiencing the same things as me - so you just come on here and vent away.....

Totally understand your reaction with babies too - I guess we reach an age where all our friends have babies - since I started tx in January there have been 5 new babies in my immediate circle of friends, plus my sister had her 3rd. No wise words on how to manage that I'm afraid, I've found what works for me is throw myself into being an auntie/godmother etc and get as much practise in as possible! Might not work for everyone, but it's what helps me get through...

Good luck with the IUI and stay in touch,
Suitcase
x


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## dottiep

Welcome FullMoon - just wanted to say hi & echo what the other girls have said.  This is a difficult journey and some days we all feel more positive than others.  I haven't had a bfp yet so can't relate directly to you mc but do feel for you.  I think you are right to plough ahead with your next tx as this feels like a proactive thing to be doing and taking charge to realise your dream.Good luck with your tx and we are all here for support as we all understand.

Dottie
xx


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## Roo67

Hi Fullmoon,

Welcome to our little group. I too had a misscarriage about 4 months ago now, sometimes I think I am ok about it, then it just hits me, I don't think it will ever go away and will always have reminders of what could have been.

Everyone is different but after M/C I took time to grieve and knew when I was ready to start again, I have had one unsuccessful donor embryo since then, which I took really hard, but what got me through was planning my next attempt.  Not sure what I will do if the next is not positive but will no doubt cross that bridge when I come to it.

I have taken great support from all the girls on here, and have struggled and still do with being alone, i don't just griefe for my lost baby but also for the loss of my dream of having a loving partner by my side to hold my hand and wipe away my tears.

As the others have said we are all strong ladies to go have made this decision in the first place and all the knock backs just make us stronger, I certainly wouldn't have been where i am today without this site and all the lovely ladies on here, so keep in touch with us all and we will help as much as you want us to.

Roo xx


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## Lou-Ann

Hi FM, just wanted to say hello and welcome you to the group! Sorry to hear of your m/c   .            Although I am still in the early stages of this journey, most of the other ladies in this little group have already been through tx and offer a wealth of support, advice and inspiration. 

Good luck with your IUI  

Lou-Ann x


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## Mifi

Hi Ladies

I just wanted to say a big thanks to you all for your kind words  
I do feel a little better but exhausted as I have been crying all day - my eye balls actually hurt!!

Misti  
Thank you again for your messages and you are right it is 'something else to beat myself up about' I am very good at that and often don't even realise that I am doing it - so thanks for pointing that out. I will PM you also soon x

Lou  
Thank you for your message it is good to know that negative emotions don't always mean negative results. Your baby boy is perfect and a total stunner   Please give him a big birthday   from me. Hope you both have a great day 

Suitcase  
Thank you for your messages and most of all pointing me in the right direction of this tread, I don't think I would have found it without your help.
I do see a counsellor occaionally but I find it often doesn't help as by the time I am able to truly open up the session is over or sometimes my defence mechanism kicks in and I am not able to talk at all - don't know if other people have that problem?!? I also at times feel guilty about having counselling as I think I should be strong and if im not I shouldn't be trying to be a single mum 

Dottie  
Thank you too, you are right it is better to carry on with tx so at least I am being proactive even though at the moment it hurts like hell and scaring me silly!! I think most people have IUI first and then go on to do IVF  but I am the other way round   as I am not allowed to have IVF again for at least 6 months as hospitalised twice for last cycle for complications (but even if I wanted to I don't have the funds for another IVF again) so instead of doing nothing I have opted for IUI whilst I save for IVF again. That is if Aunt Flo finally decides to make an appearance - she is very late  

Roo  
Thank you for your message, I think we are very alike in some ways. Like you I grieve for my lost babies and the loving partner. I long for strong arms to wrap themselves around me and to tell me that everything will be ok and to wipe away the tears   and boy there are alot of them!! after my m/c I cried all day every day non stop for 26 days - sometimes also in my sleep - I didn't even know that was physically possible. I have been alot better over the last 4 weeks but over the past few days I have been crying again so I am not sure whether it is bad case of PMT, nerves for treatment or the next stage in my grieving process?? mybe a mix of all   I do feel like I will never be the same person I was and that my soul is now scarred but maybe that is meant to be - for what ever reason it should be x

Lou-Ann  
Thank you too, you are right FF are really great and I am so glad I found the courage to post and wish I had done months ago!!

So thanks again ladies, I only hope all your dreams will come true  and I can be of great support to you all as you have been to me    

Love FMx


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## dottiep

Full Moon - just a thought....obviously I don't know what your complications were with IVF but you could have a donated embryo FET which woud have much better odds than IUI??  I have just had this tx abroad and it is also very affordable...1000 euros.
PM me if you want more info.

Dx


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## Mifi

Thanks Dottie, I have to go out now but will PM you later for info as it is good to know for the next option. I am commited to IUI for next 4 cycles now as I have just paid a wopping £1600 for my sperm and non refundable but your right FET would have better odds than IUI and something I didn't think of to try - sooo many things available yet very little advice!! 

Speak to you soon


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## madmisti

Full moon said:


> I also at times feel guilty about having counselling as I think I should be strong and if im not I shouldn't be trying to be a single mum


Hi again FM - so glad to see you getting the support here I knew you would!!

Re the above quote from your post - it takes a hell of a lot of courage and committment to go for counselling - it is very much a sign of strength, NOT weakness. It is tough to face our emotions, examine and speak our deepest feelings and fears . It is easier in the short term to try and push the horrible feelings away and pretend they are not there, meaning they fester and we act and think without really understanding why. So, PLEASE don't think you are not strong enough to be a single mum - you are doing all the right things to try and make sure you will be the best mum you can be. SO many women get a partner and have children without examining all the issues, what they can offer a child etc - those of us going it alone have to put a LOT more thought and consideration into it, simply because the whole process is more complicated and we have to make a very pro-active effort to conceive. So, give yourself a pat on the back for all the strength and courage you have already shown, and continue to show, in your TTC journey!!

I'm sure you are still grieving for your little angel, but try not to lose hope that one day you will give them an earthly brother or sister. Lean on us here at FF - and never be afraid to say or ask ANYTHING - no-one will judge you.

Do you have any friends or family you could confide in, someone who can give you a hug etc. I know when I am feeling down I think no-one will want to be bothered with my worries etc, but actually those who care about us would rather we turned to them for help than feel we have to carry the burden alone. Someone may surprise you - I know I said something really quite superficial once at an evening class I was going to, but a lady there picked up on it, and when we talked further it turned out she has an 11 year old daughter conceived by AI with a known donor, but had gone through IVF etc. So you just never know!!

I hope you manage to stop crying soon hun - not because it is wrong to cry - far from it, but just because it is so exhausting for you.

Sending you lots of   and  

Love
Misti xx


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## suitcase of dreams

Full Moon - I know exactly what you mean about counselling - it doesn't work for me either, but I suggested it because I know it does work really well for some people. When I am sad I find I retreat and prefer not to talk to anyone (which is what I'm doing right now  ) - I know I'll be OK in the end, and people being kind just makes me feel worse if you know what I mean...you take care, 

Suitcase
x


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## lulumead

Hello FullMoon (and other newbies that I've missed!)

Sorry to hear you've been having such a tough time, but welcome to the group. I'm sure that you're find lots of support. Good luck with IUI.

xx

PS I totally understand about grieving the dream...but I like to think that we all will still have the man and the baby at some point, but maybe just in a different order


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## Mifi

Hi Lulu

Thanks for your message and yes you are right hopefully we will find that special person eventually and hopefully he will be special enough to love us as well as our children as though his own   so we shouldn't give up on that dream either  We are just doing it the other way round and why not ?!? 

Love FMx


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## Damelottie

Welcome Full Moon


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## Maya7

Hi everyone and welcome to Full Moon

I havnt picked up this thread for couple of days and am only new to the site but couldnt resist writing...  I was really touched by some of the things you said full moon.  Eveyone has to find the best way for them to move on in this life and when you've had so many tough knocks that can be hard to do.  I was so positive myself at the start of the journey (unrealistically so now I think) but I think inevitably when cycles have been unsuccessful, reality breaks in to some extent - we have to just focus on what it is we really want out of the process and look for positive energy wherever we can...accumulating stress along the way with each tx makes a stronger impact on emotions so be gentle with yourself and I hope you find a way through your grief and come out stronger further along..I'd like to think the scars on the soul may be just a thicker lining that we need..

Shaz x


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## Mifi

Hi Suitcase

Thanks for your message, I will carry on with the counselling not ready to give up yet I will persevere, but yes I am very like you and when I need to talk most I completely clam up and push people away. When I had my m/c I text all my friends and family and told them not to visit or call and I didn't see or speak to anyone for a month, all I did was cry and sleep. I know now that it wasn't good to do that and it also hurt my family and friends but they do also understand (well sort of) why I did it. To be honest I am not all that much better at communicating and have now chosen not to tell anyone I am starting IUI in the next few days - the pressure got too much and I will never forget the look on my Dad's face and the tears in his eyes when I had to tell him it was over   so I would rather be totally alone than have to tell everyone bad news again. But saying that I have joined FF and now know I have that support and you guys really do understand 

Also sometimes I find I just don't want to talk and just wish someone would just hug and hold me but I would never be able to ask my friends to do that and I don't come from a huggy family if you know what I mean - but at least I get hugs from my fur babies with big purrs 

Like you mentioned also it can feel as though it is harder with people being kind, I have to say every kind message I have received from FF has started me in floods of tears but I think this is more relief and my body confirming that is what I need to hear - could that difficulty be for you too?  

I see you are also you are having a hard time at the moment so I just want you to know I am here if you need me and if you prefer please feel free to PM me 

Take care hun 
Love FMx


----------



## Mifi

Hi Ladylottie

Thanks for your welcome message, and good luck with your FET this month I will   for you hun x

Hi Shaz

Thanks for your message, I think too I may have been a bit unrealistic at the start of my journey, I thought I was prepared to have a BFN but it hadn't occurred that I may not get the chance to get pregnant during treatment which is what happened first of all when I got OHSS so that completely gutted me and so second time I prepared myself for the possibility that I may get a BFN or maybe OHSS agin but didn't prepare for a BFP and then have that taken away!!!  

It is really hard and we do need a thicker skin than most I think just so we can survive this process - I think that is just sinking in with me. I look at all my friends and family and I think 'god you are soo lucky you just don't realise!!' although I wouldn't wish this process on anyone but as hellish as it is maybe once we reach that light at the end of the tunnel maybe we are better people for it ??

All my life even as a child I have been a survivor and I endured terrible things and sometimes I want to shout WHY DOES EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE HAVE TO BE SO HARD!!!? GIVE ME A BREAK -  but I guess all that makes me the person I am today  

I have to say foe me as well I am finding typing is so much easier than talking, I don't know where it is all coming from I can bearly type fast enough to keep up with my brain but I guess that is the FF magic


----------



## some1

Hello Full Moon - just wanted to welcome you to the site and say how sorry I am to hear of what a rough time you are having  

I think you are right in what you say about typing messages on this site being helpful - communicating with other people in similar situations on this site is like a kind of therapy in itself isn't it.

Sending you lots of   for your upcoming treatment and hoping that the time is right for your baby to be to come to you and stay with you this time round.

Some1

xx


----------



## Mifi

Many thanks Some1, I think I just need to get started again a.s.a.p. but doesn't help when AF is in hiding!!!   I see you have a little miracle   hope all is well and you feeling ok  . Although new to FF I must say I am shocked with how much I get out of it   the amount of times I have been told to write a diary and all I do is stare at a blank page frustrated. I love the fact I can help others to feel better too  

Take care
FMx


----------



## TeePee

Hi everyone
So relieved to find this site and have had tears in my eyes reading some of the threads - partly cos you're all so supportive of each other.

So, I'm 39, single and hoping to have a second child (got a six year old boy).

I've been researching for weeks and feel like I've been on an emotional rollercoaster looking at all the options. Now I'm finally thinking I should forget the free/cheaper internet options - too risky... and should go to a clinic - either Manchester Fertility Services or LWC and go for IUI.

My big 'dilemmas' this week (and they do seem to change each week!) are:

am I crazy and can I really cope on my own with a second child? Are there any other single women out there like me? (maybe this is last minute nerves...)

and especially after reading some threads here I feel really confused about the IUI and IVF. Can someone help explain? I assume IUI first and if no luck move on to IVF? Is it likely that'll I'll need it? I hadn't really considered that and suddenly feel incredibly naive about it all despite dedicating every possible spare moment in the past few months to looking into my options...

thanks
TeePee


----------



## Damelottie

Hello TeePee  

A big welcome to out thread. I'm very pleased that you found us. Although we have a number of different threads here - we generally all post in them all  , so jump in wherever really.

Generally I think we've all started out with IUI - working on the assumption that we have no fertility problems other than needing sperm  . Some of the gals have got pg with IUI's and some have gone onto IVF for a number of different reasons. Some have discovered some fertility probs along the way, and some have just decided to move onto ivf as the odds of success are higher than iui's. Most of us also have the financial considerations - is it better to go for the cheaper but lower odds IUI, or the more expensive but hopefully less ivf's? 
There are lost of things to think about. But keep reading and asking and your particular pathway might become clearer.

Love

Emma x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi TeePee, 

And welcome, as LadyLottie says, just jump in and post wherever. 

It's a difficult question, the IUI vs IVF one. Success rates for IUI at our age (I'm 3 are very low - less than 10%. Having said that, of course some people get lucky early on, some take many more cycles. Patterdale and Some1 are both pregnant after IUI - it took 5-6 goes though, and they are both a few years younger. IVF has approx 40% success rate, so quite a lot higher, but of course a much more expensive and invasive treatment.

You know that you can conceive as you have had a child before, so I would imagine it's worth at least one or two attempts with IUI before moving on to IVF. Then at least you'll feel comfortable that you have tried the less invasive approach. Hopefully you'll never need to move to IVF, but at the end of the day only you will know what's right for you and when. 

Good luck with your decision making, 
Suitcase
x


----------



## Mifi

Hi Teepee

Welcome to the thread hunny   I can't really give you any advice regarding having a second child as I am still trying to get my first so I'm not experienced yet but what I will say is that I believe life is too short and if it is what you want you should go for it, plus when I look back at the relationship and memories I have growing up with my sister - I think that is pretty special  There will be hard times and I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that but you will get through them because you have too just like you have done over the past 6 years looking after your little man  

For me I have had X2 IVF cycles @ LWC and now mid my first IUI stim cycle, but I think most women have treatment the other way round  
I chose to go for IVF first because of the higher sucess rates but it is the hardest thing I have ever been through physically and emotionally but I don't regret my decision one bit. The IUI I am having now is because it is the cheaper option as funds are running a little low and also my mind and body need a rest for a while as I found the IVF pretty hardcore - but saying that everyone is different so doesn't mean that you will find that too. I'm not saying IUI is a breeze either but it brings you a little closer to achieving your dreams. If you go for IUI stimms may help improve your chances but you will need to discuss this with the professionals, I am injecting stimms at the mo but it is risky because most clinics only allow you to have a max of 3 egg follies due to risk of multi birth. I think the the general stats for IUI is approx 5 - 10 % sucess rate and around 50% for IVF but this depends on many factors such as your history, age and even the clinic.

The good news is that you have found FF and I am sure that you will have amazing support and advice from lots of ladies who understand and who are happy to share their experiences and ongoing journey with you - myself included.

Love 
FMx


----------



## lulumead

Hi Teepee (and Munch - not sure I said hi yet!)

just wanted to say welcome.  I know woman who are bringing up 2 children on their own, some have ex partners around and some don't.  Its hard but if you know that you want another child then go for it!  better to find it hard than regret never having done it, and I'm sure you're thinking about it all before doing it so you'll not being going into it naively!  I am hoping to start on IUI very soon and if it doesn't work, then think about IVF after a couple of attempts...and I know that I want to have more than one child (if I can)...I'm sure you will cope with what's thrown at you, and this group is really supportive and very very knowledgeable.  
Look forward to hearing more about your journey, and congratulations on the 1st 6 years with your son!

xx


----------



## Mifi

Hi guys

My ovaries are really aching and I am so bloated (and pregnant looking!!) and still injecting stimms, does anyone have any tips for me I'm just so uncomfortable and now getting anxious I will have too many follies for IUI - scan will tell on Monday, was thinking of trying a gentle swim tomorrow does anyone know if that is ok or a big no no due to risk of infection??

Thanks

Love FM X


----------



## cherrycherry

Hello everyone,

I'm new and have kindly been recommended to this thread, as I'm a single lady. I don't have any (known) history of infertility, (though I do have vaginismus, which isn't helpful! ) -I am very sadly childless at 42 because I've never had any luck with finding a serious relationship, largely due to great shyness and fear of people in my 20s, and then to being a carer for very sick relatives in my 30s, (while coping with pressure, etc, from them for me not to have relationships, although they regret this now). Well ,I've been thinking about having fertility treatment as a woman without a partner for three years, so it's not a sudden decision for me, but I've needed to get my practical affairs sorted out first, as being a relatives carer meant I didn't have my own home, or a job, so unfortunately even in spite of my age, I've had to spend those years getting my independence. However, now I'm ready, hopefully, to start on my fertility journey. I'm definately thinking of seeking egg donation, overseas, as I know at my age my own eggs are extremely unlikely to "work", and what's important to me is having a child to love; I honestly feel okay about not passing on my own genes. For a variety of reasons, the Czech clinics sound like they would best suit me, (at the moment), but that's still something I have to look into more. I'm going to read this thread more now to familiarise myself a little more with people, and I also plan to be in newbies chat tomorrow, so will hopefully chat more soon to people. I wish everyone so much the best. Bye for now, Cherry Cherry


----------



## Roo67

Hi Cherry and welcome.

I'm glad you have found us - sorry you seem to have had a rough time over the years 

I have had IUI's here in the uk and when they failed I moved onto IVF at Reprofit in the Czech Republic.

I have a fresh donor egg cycle booked for December this year, but have had donated embryo's whilst waiting for december to come around. There is a long waiting list at least 10months for fresh donated eggs however frozen donated embryo's, there is little or no wait.

The clinic in Czech is ultra modern and clean and all the staff are lovely (especially the doctors  ) I had reservations about going abroad at first but I think I made the right decision. The only downside I found is the after care, if you have a problem, you can only phone or e-mail and you have to source help locally for scans bloods etc which is sometimes a problem.

hope you have a good read and find some help on here - just shout up if there is anything else you need.

Roo xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Teepee and Cherry, just wanted to welcome you both to the thread and wish you luck for your chosen tx journeys. The ladies on here offer so much advice and support, so you have definitely come to the right place! 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

hello cherry

welcome to the group!
xx


----------



## Damelottie

Hello Cherry

Welcome  

I've had some treatment in Czech and plan some more. Be happy to help.

I actually feel quite excited for you  . You've obviously been through a lot to get to this stage and I hope its the beginning of a fantastic journey for you  

Love

Emma xx


----------



## dottiep

Welcome Cherry -like me you've obviously spent some years thinking about this journey.  Do let me/us know if you want any advice of info. As you can see from my signature I too have had treatment in the Czech Republic and would thoroughly recommend the clinic.


Fullmoon - how was your scan??


Dottie
x


----------



## winky77

Hello Teepee and Cherry!  

Just wanted to say HI and welcome to the threads....I'm so glad you found us. Feel free to ask any questions.....

..Winky


----------



## cherrycherry

Hi Cem/Claire, Roo, Lou-Ann, Lulunead, Lady Lottie, Dottie, Fullmoon and everyone on here (hope I've not forgotten anyone!) -

Fullmoon I deeply feel for you and am sending you tons of hugs   and good wishes   Also to everyone on here going through so much  

thanks to everyone for the welcomes and caring    Roo, yes I had gathered that unfortunately there's a long wait for eggs.  Which clinic are you with please?  Re the donated embryos, I wonder how come they are more easily available; are they donated from other patients who have completed treatment?  Do you get to make choices over which embryos you get? Dottie, which clinic is that you have found so good please?

appreciatively, Cherry Cherry xxxx


----------



## Mifi

Hi guys 

Hope you are all ok, welcome to cherrycherry    Hi to some1, Lou, Roo, suitcase, Winky and Dottie hope you are ok apologies for not having personals today but..

Sorry but HELLLLP I'm a complete state I can't stop crying nearly made myself sick twice from uncontrolable sobbing had my 2nd scan today all is well, I have 2 follies one 18mm the other 14mm I am to inject stimms again tonight and have Pregnl horrible stingy jab 2 hours later. IUI is booked for Friday morning - So why can't I stop crying?  I am a complete mess and not sure what it is about I scared to have the procedure and embarressed I am such a wimp!!!! Thinking of popping a valium before hand, sorry to cut a long story short I suffer from PTSD and it is no surprise I am single as cant cope with intimate things  - if you catch my drift but I have had ivf before and coped well with sedation so I just don't understand what all these tears are about I am at a different clinic too and I do feel scared though or maybe unresolved stuff from my m/c 2 months ago I should be happy initially I was paniking I would over stim for iui  and now it is going ahead why am I crying, procedure isn't till Fri and I am so paniced by it  


Do you think I should phone the clinic and tell them I am terrified and I will probably take a Tamazepam ? A friend has offered to come and hold my hand but I am embarressed that my bits will be exposed  so am I better off being on my own - Ohhh don't know what to do 
Love FMxx


----------



## Mifi

Thanks Rose, I will ask my friend if she will mind waiting outside for me so at least I know she is nearby. Maybe you are right and I am just very emotional from the hormones I have been taking, the feelings are so strong though and more than once today I have thought about giving it all up but I know eventually I will really regret doing that, I will just have to learn to chill out more  and stop being so scared all the time.

I tried to tell the nurse this morning that I am feeling such a wreck about this already but the words just wouldn't come out. I am just embarressed as to them it is just like having a smear but to me it is torture  

Will try and calm down and PMA  

Love FM

XXX


----------



## Damelottie

Hello Full-Moon     

Some people find it helps to have somebody there, and some people cope better on their own. But definitely take the valium if you need to. Starting this evening if necessary so you get some sleep and don't get into too upset. I have small doses of valium I take in emergencies and I think JJ1 does too.

 

Emma xxxx


----------



## Roo67

Full moon - so sorry that you are feeling so down today   , hope all goes smoothly and as LL sugessted take some tonight to ensure a good sleep.

R xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

A big welcome to the new ladies

Full Moon I always have my donor's partner with me, he stays the otherside of the screen/curtain when they examine most time  but is there if I need him, and on occassions he had been the otherside but there is nothing to see as you are covered up with towels.  I also take valium before each ET as I dread it.  I can cope with smears.

Good luck
L x


----------



## dottiep

Fullmoon - you have had some very sound advice from some of the other girls on here. I would also say that the hormones play havoc with your emotions.  I too nearly didn't go for my first IUI as the whole thing was too overwhelming.  Just hold on to that thought about why you are doing this and your end objective.
If you would like to take a friend with you then they can stay at the 'head' end so absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.
Your follies sound good.

Best of luck

Dottie
x


----------



## Mifi

Thanks guys sooo much I do feel bit better now, just completely drained had such a long hard emotional day   I am still struggling with the tears but they are more steady flow down my cheeks rather than harrowing sobbs. I think I just need some sleep tonight has not had much lately. I have done the trigger shot so at least I have a day of rest tomorrow with no jabs, ready for procedure Friday - maybe I won't be so hormonal now too.

Perhaps I had to experience today as part of the cycle?? I have also managed to get an emergency counselling session tomorrow so hopefully that will be of benefit   Probably a good job I am single if i had a partner he would probably think I have lost the plot!!! 

Thank you so much guys it is such a relief that you are all there and also that I am there for you too. Anyway goodnight all I am taking a sleeping tab tonight as must sleep more than last night 4 hours isn't enough!!

Love FM XXX


----------



## Mifi

Second thoughts I better not take a sleeping tab tonight as it may interfere with the trigger shot that I had tonight so I guess it is back to counting sheep!! I will message you all again soon, hope you are all ok


----------



## Mifi

Hi guys

Hope you are all well, tomorrow is the big day for me as will have my iui - I still cry everytime I think about it but I am a little calmer too. I did manage to pluck up the courage to call the clinic today and they are now aware that I am in a bit of a state and will probably be taking tamazepam to take the edge off - which they seemed ok about. So by tomorrow lunchtime it will all be over and I will probably wonder why I was so freaked!! Anyway 2WW coming up fast  

Speak to you all soon 

Love FMxx


----------



## dottiep

FM - glad that they've said you can take the tamazepan so at least you can relax a bit.  Best of luck for tomorrow- I'm sure all will go smoothly and you'll look back and wonder why you were worried.  Are you taking someone with you after all?

Dx


----------



## Mifi

Thanks Dottie I still haven't made up my mind about bringing my friend, I have to call her first thing tomorrow to let her know as app not until 10:45 I guess I will just have to wait and see how I feel in the morning 

Speak to you soon
Love FMx


----------



## Roo67

Hope it all goes smoothly Full moon

Roo xx


----------



## Mifi

Hi guys

Thankyou for your best wishes, well as you all said basting went fine   and wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. As soon as the nurse called me through though the tears started which was a bit embarressing but as I had taken the Tamazepam I managed to get up on the bed without shaking like a leaf!! The procedure was much quicker than I thought it would be, it hurt like hell until they decided to use a smaller speculum (sorry TMI) but once that bit was over it was ok I guess. It feels wierd that I have a strange Danish mans sperm inside me - lets hope they jiggy with my egg/s?!?! So now officially on the 2WW!!!

Sorry no personals today still feel a bit drugged and brain not up to it, plus out for dinner tonight so I need to sort myself out

Love & hugs
FM xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

FM, glad that all went okay today in the end. Good luck with your 2ww  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

Good luck with the 2WW!
xx


----------



## Mifi

Thanks Lou, it will be good to join that thread to  The clinic never gave me a date for testing they just said in 2 weeks time so I guess that is 31 Oct - Freaky Halloween!!!   Lets hope the witch doesn't arrive     sorry bad joke   

I have 3 HPT ready and waiting its going to be a long hard 2 weeks thats for sure!! I would do a test tomorrow if I could!! The clinic said if I get a BFP I need to call them and arrange a blood test.

Anyway its way passed my bed time I have to be good now im PUPO  

Love to all  
FMx

Ps Thanks so much for sharing your fear of speculums it really really helped me


----------



## herbaltea

Hello everyone! Last time I was TTC I had a partner, now single and desperate to TTC again as my biological clock is ticking fast! 

One quick question - how easy is it to TTC at a clinic if you are single? Are there lots of hurdles? I have PCOS and need puregon to get me started. As my ovaries are so bad I only managed one DIUI last time in nearly 2 years as I kept develpoing cysts!

Looking forward to chatting to you all


----------



## Damelottie

Hello Herbaltea   

Most clinics now seem to be pretty good at treating single women. There is a range of different places we go to on here. Some of them ask for a GP referral but thats quite rare it seems. Unfortunately, it seems you always have to pay though. Some of us have managed to get our GP's to do the initial blood tests, but none of us have managed to get funding on the NHS for any treatment. Quite a few of us on here now go to Reprofit as its lots cheaper, and the service is brilliant.

Good luck    

Emma x


----------



## Kirsty26

Hi everyone, This is my first time on here. A bit about me:
I am "going it alone". I am in my 2ww (2nd week of), 2nd attempt at Donor Insemination.
I dont know if im imagining symptoms as i want it so much or whether i am super sensitive ad actually experiencing some already, as i have very sore bbs (veiny too!??) and have been very emoional today (i nearly burst into tears today bcoz a shop smelt funny and blamed my mum ), which is actually why i decided to come on here as i am driving my mum mad!! (only my mum and dad, borther and sister and closest friend know i am ttc) Its obviously harder going it alone, not having a partner to turn to, or flash my bbs at for inspection. But this is the decision i made and i am happy with it, happier now i have found this site too, and hoing to find people in similar situations who can relate!!! well thats it really, if there is anyone else who is at the ttw, or even if yor single and have any advice, it would be nice to hear back. 

Kirsty x


----------



## Mifi

Hi Kirsty

Welcome to FF hun   I am single too and also on the 2WW but still in my first week, my test day is 31 Oct - Scarey halloween!!! When is your test day?? Have you managed to stear clear of the pee sticks?? The best advice I can give you is just to be kind to yourself the 2WW is a very emotional and stressful time   Hopefully your symptoms are gearing towards that BFP!! I will   for you   

Love FMx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Herbaltea and Kirsty welcome to the group. I haven't actually started treatment yet having only just been referred by my GP, but most of the other wonderful ladies on here have been through one form on treatment or another and offer fantastic advice and support. 

Herbaltea - good luck with your journey   

Kirsty - hope the rest of your 2ww flies by    

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Kirsty26

Hi, Thank you Lou-Ann.   good luck with everything!!

Fm, 
my test day is the 28th, so im literally only into my 2nd week of 2ww, i have already done one test (stupid i know) but vowed i wouldnt do anymore as attempt before this i did like 8   and sadly the first faint line i got came to nothing as then AF came ( i dont like to say m/c as doctor says they happen more often than we realise and if i hadnt been trying id have thought was a heavy period) So i am being very good (well mins the tinsy winsy slip up with hpt no.1) and im going to wait until 28th..... thats the plan anyway!! what about you? how are you feeling?   for you too x x


----------



## Damelottie

Welcome Kirsty  

Good luck on your 2ww


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you Ladylottie.    Trying to stay calm and patient


----------



## Kirsty26

good luck Herbaltea


----------



## Mifi

Hi Kirsty

Good luck for 28th hun   Pee sticks are very tempting but we really must stear clear until the big day as +ve or -ve we can't trust the result!! But it is so hard I know, I have already been tempted and Im only Day 4 of 2WW!! 

The last couple of days have been extra tough though as I have had a cold and have also been in constant pain, when I move I have to hold my bloated tummy as it feels so sore - I think it is my ovaries grumbling over the stimms I have been injecting recently and so have just been staying on the sofa with the hope it passes soon. My body is extra sensitive so generally I feel everything going on down there  

How about you have you had meds this cycle? Is your treatment in the UK?

FMxx


----------



## Kirsty26

FM,

ooh poor you   hope you feel etter soon!! stay rested for sure, hope the discomfort passes soon!!

I havent had any meds no, this is only my second attempt at AI and only been trying for 2months so at this stage im just taking prenatal vitamins, trying to eat healthy and act normally. . . . .well mostly im acting normally, other times im checking my boobs, analysing every twinge in my tummy and wondering if im just tired or pregnancy tired!!lol  
Yes i have done it all in the UK. what about you? xx


----------



## winky77

Hello Kirsty and HerbalTea! 
Glad you have found us!  It is great that we are attracting both women who are at the start of thinking through the process as well as those who have already taken the plunge (scuse the pun!). 

Kirsty .....now you have got going with posting on the newbies thread you might want to post on the 2ww thread as well which is always good for sharing symptoms etc. 

Look forward to getting to know you both ! 

..Winky


----------



## Kirsty26

Hi Winky,

Thank you for the welcome  

Yes i have already been on there and am signed up now, and just decided to go ahead and be more active on there too, thank you   I have obsessed over that site lol!!  
But i think its helping to keep, not so much me but, my family sane, as i am distracted and not boring them with every little detail!! lol  

I shall look forward to getting to know you all too xx


----------



## dottiep

Hi & welcome to Kirsty & Herbaltea - glad you have found us!  I know I've found everyone on here to be amazingly supportive.  Just ask if you have any questions....

Dottie
xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you very mcuh for the welcomes, Dottie and Rose. 
And yes Patterdale i really hope so       xx


----------



## Sima

Hi Kirsty - welcome to the board.  It's good to see that you have already kicked off the process and are almost there on your 2ww.  I will    that all of your symptoms are real ones and I wish you all the best for 28.

Hi & welcome Herbaltea.  How are  you getting on with your thought process?  You will find lots of support and help here.  I see from your signature that you are also looking into adoption.  I would be interested in hearing how you get on.  I started looking at adoption earlier this year.  I got as far as going o n a prep group when I decided to at least try for a biological child first. 

As LL said most clinics seem to be good at treating single women.  You might want to try some of the clinics which have available sperm.  There are a couple in London and the Midlands but I am not sure about the West Country.  I think the LWC has a satellite office in the West so you might want to try there.


Sima xx


----------



## lulumead

Hello Kirsty - welcome - don't think i have said hello yet.  Hope the last few days of the 2ww go fast and you get a positive result.

and hello Herbaltea, I'm in the process of an adoption from China so feel free to PM if you have any adoption thoughts! 

Look forward to sharing your journeys

xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you for the welcomes Sima and Lulumead  

I have decided to go to the doctors on monday and get tested.... mainly since ive used all my tests   ....... i have NO self control!!!!!!
I have been a bit crampy today but not major and mixed in with it has been a twingey pain on my right hand side low down, thats actually more painful than the cramps!! im still very veiny, in fct im starting to look like an A to Z!!!!!    Quick question though, im feeling very bruised all over (im not bruised) and its like everywhere, my stomach, like ive been working out (i can assure you i havent  ) and like my legs and butt cheeks (sorry) they are all kinda bruised sore to the touch, has anyone else had anything similar?? or am i just  

Thanks for all you welcomes and support so far!!

  to all xx


----------



## dottiep

Kirsty - not had the 'bruised' feeling you mention.....but the veiny boobs sound like a good sign!!

Dx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you, yeah i will have to see what the Doc says on monday i guess. But the veins must be a good sign yeah, they are popping uo everywhere though not just my boobs,   its weird though you read all these things and think you know what to expect and then something happens and youre like um didnt realise that was part of pregnancy!! like having a metallic mouth?!! didnt know about that, and its only bcoz id said to my mum it tasted like id been eating tin foil that i found out can be a symptom!! so          i am and its a sticky bean!!! xx


----------



## Felix42

Fingers crossed for a positive Kirsty!!

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Hi thank you Felix, 

Well I went to the doctors today, and he wouldn't test!!! He said I had to wait at least another week or so and that the veins mean nothing!!!! Couldn't believe it! So I rang my sister who met me at Sainsbury's and bought me a test! It was BFP!!! Well more like a little faint positive, but its defiantely a positive!! I cried and then screamed!! And then I raced to my parents and my mum cried and screamed!! I'm going to do one again tomorrow and hope its darker! Thank you for all your support and well wishes everyone, I hope you all get your BFP too!! 
Lots of baby dust!!


----------



## Sima

Kirsty - that sounds positive.  Well done.  Let's hope for a darker line tomorrow but a faint one will do along with all your other symptoms.


----------



## Kirsty26

It certainly will  haha! Thank you xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you Rose! Me too! 
And again thank you to eveyone here for the kind thoughts and support. 

Lots of Baby dust x x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Kirsty, thats great, hope the positive is even stronger tomorrow  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

great news Kirsty...hope there is more positive news tomorrow!
xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Lou Ann and louloumead, thank you!! 
I just took the test again and its an 'invalid' as neither of the windows did anything aaahhh!!! Now ill have to wait until Thursday to get tested when I go back to the doctors!!! As I've spent my last pennies on HPT oops!!! x x


----------



## Roo67

Aawww kirsty - what rotten luck getting an invalid    lets hope that Thursday brings good news, but i always say a line is a line - no matter how faint, so 

Roo x


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you, I really hope so too. I'm cramping a bit today but I'm hoping that's just part of it rather than anything bad!!! Uts awful isn't it waiting and waiting for that BFP and still not being quite sure once you get a positive!! Ill just have to relax, and keep praying and crossing every finger and toe! 

Baby dust x x


----------



## Felix42

Fingers crossed for you Kirsty.  It will be lovely to get a positive on the blood test on Thursday.  Sounds like you definitely will.  

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you Felix I shall let you all know x x


----------



## Felix42

Kirsty, good luck with the test tomorrow. Hope it confirms your HPT positive!!  

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Felix, thank you so much. I started cramping a little yesterday and then when I got to work there was some blood! I got myself into a right state I cried of my make up (and that takes a lot, I LOVE my make up) anyway I calmed down in the afternoon when I realised there was no more blood, but I got up this morning and my tummy feels tight and is still cramping on and off and when I went to the loo there was some more blood. Its too late for implantation?? As I'm now 17 dpo!? I really don't know what's going on, so hopefully the doctor will now tell me I'm fine and its nothing!!! Never prayed so hard!!!!! 
Will let you know. X x


----------



## Felix42

Kirsty.   that the doctor's verdict is a very positive one!

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank god for my blackberry phone perfect for someone so obssessed as me!!!! Haha!!! 
Ok trying to stay very positive, I've got to go up the hospital, I'm just waiting for my dad to collect me! The doctor did a check and he wants me to go and get tests done as he is worried it could be ectopic!! Great!!! This is 2nd time this has happened to me!! I had the same time 3yrs ago, they said it wasn't right but wasn't ectopic when they did ultrasound and then I miscarried at 8 weeks!! I'm so hoping this is a fighter!!!! x x


----------



## Kirsty26

I just wanted to let you know, I had to come up the hospital, my doctor was concerned about the bleeding and side pain in my abdomen. I have had blood tests and an internal done and am now waiting for a scan. They have just confirmed a miscarriage!! I'm very sad, but I guess its not meant to be. I'm going to have to hold off for a month or two now to heal and make sure everything is ok. 
Thank you for all your well wishes.


----------



## some1

Kirsty - don't think that we have 'spoken' before but just read your news, so sorry to hear that your BFP didn't stay  .  Hope you are doing okay.  Thinking of you.

Some1

xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you, they said they don't really like to call it a m/c its sooo early on and therefore I shouldn't worry too much, and that it isn't me or anything, but yeah its over for this month!!! I have had some kick **** pain killers so now I'm home I'm going to go to bed!! But I won't give up hope!!! I shall try again!! 
Thank you again for your kind thoughts xx


----------



## Felix42

Kirsty, I am so sorry    That is such sad news and what a day you've had to go through. Thinking of you and  you can get a healthy baby soon. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you felix, it has really helped bring able to share it with people who understand!! xx


----------



## semma

Hi, I'm a 38 yr old single woman and have had 8 iui's all unsucessful, then found to have endo which was treated and have just been through my 1st ivf last week, unfortunately all 10 eggs were immature so never reached the ET, been a nightmare but I'm finding great comfort and support (and info) from this site.  Still trying to find my way round here but someone gave me the thread for this one so really pleased to have found other ladies in the same boa
Having ivf no. 2 in jan, so fingers, toes and everything crossed. 
Emma


----------



## Lou-Ann

Kirtsy, sorry to read that it hasn't worked for you this time. Thinking of you  

Semma, hello and welcome to the group, you've come to the right place for advice and support. Sorry to read that your treatments so far have not worked  . Good luck for your IVF in January    

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Damelottie

Welcome Emma


----------



## Sima

Dear KIrsty - I am so sorry to hear your news.  What an awful day for you.  Do rest up and take care of yourself you have been through a lot.   

Hi Semma - welcome to the single board.  You do seem to have been through a lot already.    Anyway I am glad you have found us.    I am sorry to hear that your first IVF was unsuccessful.  It must have been heartbreaking for you having gone so far down the road.  Have your doctors offered you a follow up consultation to discuss your first cycle?  I am not sure if this is standard or not because I too am new to IVF.  Anyway I wish you all the best on your ttc journey.  

Sima xx


----------



## lulumead

sorry to hear your news Kirsty...take care of yourself.

and welcome Emma...look forward to sharing your journey.
xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you lulumead. I have taken the day off work today and shall just relax and pull myself together. 
Thank you to everyone again for your kindness and support. 
Welcome Emma, your in the right place to be for support and advice!! Best of luck with everything 
Baby dust to all x x


----------



## semma

Hi
Not sure if I've already introduced myself on here, seem to be getting all mixed up with the different threads Anyway if I have, sorry, and if I haven't then here goes(will keep it short!)
I'm 38, have had 8 failed iui's, then had endo treated and had my 1st ivf last week, where they found at egg collecton that all 10 eggs were immature so treatment had to stop there.  Still getting over it, can be fine one minute and in floods of tears the next.  Putting it down to the whole ivf process, the total disappontment of not even getting to the two week wait, the hormones and the worry of starting it all again in jan.
Anyway thats my story in a nut shell, would be nice to hear from single woman also going through this jouney
Emma


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Kirsty so sorry that you joy was so short lived take care
L x


----------



## Kirsty26

JJI thank you, yeah I'm really feeling it today, the pain is beyond the pain killers and unfortunately I have to go to work, having taken yesterday off. I really hope it happens for mE soon, each month it doesn't work makes it sooo much worse as you realise tenfold how much you want it. But I know everyone is in that same position. 

Thank you. 

Baby dust to everyone x x


----------



## winky77

Kirsty - so sorry you're for what you're going thru. sending you   


Sema - welcome to the threads.....wish you'd found us before....must have been tough going thru all those IUIs and a frustrating unsuccessful IVF.  Fingers crossed for January ! 

..Winky


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you winky and rose, work was ok, and actually passed quickly because it was so busy, I dosed up all day on pain killers which helped some. But I did have my moments where I got really teary, and of course couldn't explain why, so I must look like an emotional freak to everyone else!! I have been feeling sad today, and annoyed with myself for it, I know its to be expected but I had hoped I'd cried all my tears and shed my disappointment on Thursday at the hospital.
Thank you again for all your support it really does help, even a few kind words, from people who understand. XX x


----------



## semma

Hi
Thanks for all the nice warm welcomes.  My emotions are all over the place still, one min I'm absolutely fine, the next could be a song on radio or anything and I'm crying........again! didn't help on fri when I rang the zita west clinic for advice on DHEA (as someone had rec. it  to improve my egg quality) and a snotty women kept insisting I was meaning DHA (which I know is something different) her attitude was appalling and I ended up saying it didn't matter and hung up.  Honestly do these people not know how stressful this journey is, without them being so rude.  I rang the marilyn glenville clinic instead and a nice lady explained you can only get it from the USA.  Anyway that my moan for today, but finding it really hard to stay focussed and positive
Emma


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Emma,

Just wanted to welcome you to the single girls board - a better group of girls you couldn't hope to meet!

I've been having tough times myself lately, so been lying low a bit, totally empathise with the fine one minute, crying the next. But it will pass as all things eventually do....be good to yourself in the meantime

re the DHEA, yes, think Mini could help you with that - maybe PM her...

Suitcase
x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Emma and welcome to the madness!!!
Yes I'm on DHEA, although this was under the guidance of my consultant and I would seriously get the Dr's permission before embarking on it as you might not need it.  You can only get it from the states - the DHEA is not too expensive, but postage and import fees make it very expensive - have been on it since May, can't wait to stop to be honest, maybe the acne like spots will disappear!!! LOL  
If you can speak to your fertility consultant and ask them their opinion.  It is unlicensed here in the UK hence why some stay away from it.  I had to sign a disclaimer before I began treatment.
Hope that helps.
Take care
R x x


----------



## Kirsty26

hi, i havent been on here for a little bit, i miscarried with my last donor insem attempt as was rather down to say the least. I just wanted to ask a question based on what im going through. Basically i had LOADS of symptoms VERY early. Metal mouth   , veiny boobs  , nausea, emotions... very emotional if im honest   and then i had my BFP, then by the end of that week i was at the hospital because id started to bleed a bit and had pain in my right hand side of lower tummy and doctor was obviously concerned.... i was told i was not going to continue with the pregnancy, having had blood tests, internal exam and a scan then given some kick  pain killers and went home. The next few days i bleed very heavily (although not lots of clotting.. sorry   ) finally as i was coming to the end i retrned to my doctor at their request, i asked to do another test as i still 'felt' pregnant it was negative, she said i would feel pregnant still, i was obviously sensitive and my body was not going to just swing back to normal over night as it goes through many changes straight from fertilisation... so ok, i accepted that and went on my way....... HOWEVER, yet another week later, i am still gettng a horrible metal mouth, i am STILL nauseous (only worse, just in the evenings bt i actually feel like i may throw up) my boobs arent sore any more but are defo bigger and feel slighlty heavier, and im emotional on and off. whats going on?? could it stilllllllllll be left over hormones?? i actually feel like im going a bit mad   i have to keep reminding myself im not pregnant!!!!!

anyway any views or similar situation stories most welcome!!!  
xx


----------



## Prettybrowneyes

Hi peeps 

I'm a newie and have no idea where to start.    I’ve had FSH test (normal) HSG painful and inconclusive due to a fibroid 7cm (Sub mucosal).  Under went Hysteroscopy Myonectomy last week now on HRT for next three months to kick-start periods as they were suspended by Zoladex.  I have been referred to a fertility doctor, appointment in December.

Question: I have no idea where to start and what is involved with ART
Do I have treatment in the UK / or Europe or even India 
Has anyone else had a fibroid removed, how long did it take your periods to restart and is it normal to be on HRT after this procedure.
Has anyone thought of using the free donor website?

All responses welcome.

Thanks Peeps


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Hi welcome to the thread

Sorry that you have been through so much, and hope that future is brighter, I can't help you with post myomenectomy etc  I just wanted to say that some of the gay and lesbian women have used free donor worldwide website

Good luck
L x


----------



## semma

Hi L
Would you be able to pm me the website for 'gay and lesbian women have used free donor'
Cheers
E


----------



## Lou-Ann

Prettybrowneyes, welcome to the group!    You will meet the most amazing women on here willing to offer advice, info and support. Sorry you have had a tough time already  . Good luck with your journey    

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Sima

Hi Prettybrowneyes

Welcome to the boards. I suffer from fibroids as well. I had a myomectomy 3 years ago in 2005. Mine was a abdominal myo and I had several fibroids of various sizes removed. I think I had about 18 removed altogether. I was on zoladex for 3 months prior to the op which put me into an artificial menopause and stopped my periods. My period arrived about 6 to 8 weeks after my op. I was not on HRT after the op and I don't know why you are on it now. Maybe it is something to do with age. I was 35 at the time. I did suffer from hot flushes and mood swings so maybe your drug regime will stop some of these unpleasant side effects.

I am having treatment in the UK. I am not using a free donor site but I imported sperm from the US and I am having IVF at the Bridge in London. I do not know anything about the donor site but I think you can find some info on the gay and lesbian thread.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=162501.0

There are a number of people who go abroad for their treatment and I am sure there will be someone along soon to give you some advice on this. Take a look at the single abroadies thread
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=156348.0

and there is also a board for those having treatment overseas. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=119.0

There is a lot to think about and you will have a lot more info after your appt with the doc in Dec. At least you will know whether you will need to go down the IUI or IVF after the appt.

Well that's all for me.

I wish you all the best on your journey. It's a big one but an exciting one.

Sima xx


----------



## Prettybrowneyes

Sima 

A HUGE thank you for the post - I will check out the links


----------



## Prettybrowneyes

Hi Kirsty 

Thanks for your post. I haven't had a M/c - I think you may have misread my message.  I haven't started any form of fertility treatment yet and I pray to god that I don't have a miscarriage.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Kirsty26

Rose, thank you very much, I really appreciate everyones kindness. 
Prettybrowneyes, I didn't post to you hunny, but good luck in your treatment. 
Lots of love and babydust to everyone 

K x x x


----------



## Prettybrowneyes

Sorry Peeps  - I thought the M/c post was in response to my message


----------



## Felix42

Hello there, just wanted to mention that we're planning a London meet in December if you're interested in coming? Nothing fancy - just pizza/pasta probably but here's the link to the thread and voting for best date.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=167249.0

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Kirsty26

Can I ask a TMI question? How many days is "normal" to have EWCM? 
And during pregnancy, does the amount/consistency change in the cm? 

Sorry I know bit personal but I figured if I couldn't ask it here ..... X x


----------



## Kirsty26

Thank you rose, 
Yeah I'm just confused, last month I got my bfp then m/c and now this month I have had EWCM for 7days!!! And sore bbs now for 2, I never used to get sore bbs after ovulating, or EWCM for so many days! I guess I've changed a bit!! 

I had to give this month a miss in the end because I was so all over the place but hope to have another go next month (I'm using a donor) and fingers crossed for a sticky stickybean!!! I hope you get your bfp soon too. Thanks again x x


----------



## Kirsty26

Sorry should have said 7days So far, as still got it!!


----------



## hopehopehope

Hi there everyone - i'm single and have just finished tests for donor iui at MFS. As i had  a mc last year I didn't think there was any problem with my fertility. The whole deal has been about me getting my headround using a donor. Went for results yesterday and my AMH is very low at 3.2. They will still treat me, but i wondered if anyone could give me some support/advice on this. I'm still in a state of shock at the thought i might never be able to have my own babies, when up till yesterday i thought there was no problems - am i on the right thread for this??!?


----------



## lisa31

hey hope how r u doing girl.. we'll here for you... great forum lots of info provided .. lots of support.. we'll take care of you .. you're in the right place.

lisa


----------



## hopehopehope

thanks lisa  

am going to have first diui around mid Jan. Not sure whether iui is best course of treatment with such a low AMH?


----------



## dottiep

Hi Hope

Welcome to our world!
I'm afraid I don't know much about AMH levels but Im sure someone will post soon who does. Just wanted to say hi & wish you luck with your journey.

Dottie
xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Hope
Welcome to the madness!!!!
Have you had your FSH done too  I've a very low AMH (0.0) - yep not good - but I believe this is manily becasue my right ovary isn't working as it should and the left one is exhausted.  
I couldn't tell you what your response would be, has your consultant sadi anything?  - however I was told that I will continue to ovulate and could fall pregnant naturally (I was thinking of having a double IUI at this point) ... IVF is the sticky bit for me as the chance of producing one egg is limited - even with high stim drugs.  I found the person who gave me the best advice was Stepah at Reprofit.  He was very honest and gave me a lot of information.  I am going straight for IVF as he is prepared to go with what ever I produce.  
I konw the clinic who conducted the AMH did tell me what sort of reposne I could expect.  it might be worth getting in touch with yours.  
Goodluck
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi hope, welcome to the group. You've come to the right place for advice and support, the ladies on here are fantastic! I can't help with the AMH levels, but wanted to wish you lots of luck for your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## emu

I have been a lucker on this board for a while. Initially last year when I was seriously considering going it alone. Not thinking I could have a baby naturally but a miracle happened for me and I became preggers naturally. I am raising my daughter alone and loving every minute of it and she has been a real joy and would love to chat with other mothers who are going it alone.


----------



## Maya7

Hi Emu - Welcome..your daughter looks so cute in the photo   ...  You might like to try the single women's bumps and babies thread...there are other mothers there raising their families by themselves and theres lots of support there.

Lots of luck
Maya


----------



## ameliacooper

Hi Emu

Your daughter is gorgeous!  I too was considering going it alone and also ended up getting pregnant naturally last year.  I'm just a couple of months ahead of you and mainly post in the Spring Mummies board.

Also totally loving it  .

We're also based in London.

A xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Emu, welcome! Your daughter is just adorable! As Maya has already said, you may find it useful posting the bumps and babies thread, the ladies there are so supportive  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Footsteps

Hello all,

I am just starting my journey to go it alone as a single 40 yr old.  I finally plucked the courage to see my GP, and had my first consultation yesterday.  I am just awaiting for my HSG to be done in a few weeks time and had the blood test for AMH done yesterday too... (which I am feeling very nervous about the outcome & won't find out the results until I go for my HSG)  

One thing that was mentioned yesterday during my consultation was that everything has to be passed by the ethics board.. does anybody know how the ethics board make their decision as to whether you have passed or not??  (as ever, I always think of things I should have asked, afterwards)

Good Luck to everyone 

Bye for now

Footsteps x


----------



## Footsteps

Hi Rose,

I am currently at Grosvenor Nuffield Hospital in Chester (part of North West Fertility) and will have my treatment done at the Liverpool Womens Hospital.  I am sure the ethics board is nothing for me to worry about...  like yourself, I don't have a partner, and if I am successful, my child will be safe, secure and loved to bits!!  

I will call the clinic tomorrow, and ask about the ethics board & how they make their decision & will keep you posted..

Footsteps x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the board Footsteps! You've come to the right place for advice and support, you will find the most amazing ladies on here  

Sorry I can't help you with the ethics board bit, but wanted to wish you all the best for your journey.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Mommy09

Hi GIRLS ))))))))))))

I am so happy to be apart of you all. I was looking for forum that would fit my case, about 6 hours, until i finally found it writiten in on of the articles that talked about how more and more women under 30 years of age, are going on IUI....Well i am one of them... 

I want a child for 6 years...more on my story you can read on "new member site ", article : 25 wants to be a mommy.

3 days ago i found out i have  CHOICE and my head was going CRAZY...from being happy, to being mad....being confused....From that point on i was sitting by my computer reading all the articles and trying to find a clinic for single women.....and did not have much luck...until i found a londons women clinic...i wrote, explained and got my asnwer the next day....i was very     only the price did not make me that much happy     ......with the travelling costs  and i would have to revisit the clinic 5 times.....very expensive.....i would need a loan...sorry but i do not have 3000 eur in my hands...just like that...

than i was talking to my ex about it....he was   and did not know what to say....but today he wrote me sms and said he was happy for me.....men are not a problem, i have friends.... who will be around my child.. i have more men friends than women.

BUT

that does not mean i will ask them for sperm.....I do not want an object....i cant have sexs just to get pregnant....i rather not know who he is, cause i realy do not care, as long as the donor is healthy, active and has a healthy family...everything als as hobbies..i do not care.... Less i know about hobbies, work...the better....cause i am not getting married or trying to meet this guy...i just want his sperm and a BABY 

Ii cant believe how i sound, but i love it. Woman getting what she wants, for a price of corse 

Than i found this site, you were talking about brno...clinic Reprofit.....Their site is very confusing for me... I wrote them if they do IUI for single women and than a guy wrote me back to introduce myself....I do not even know do they find a donor for you or i have to find a sperm bank by myself and get the sperm to Brno ? Cause i have been reading about girls here doing just that... 

Now thinking how long it takes to get pregnant is very different...some girls in the first cyle some after thew motnhs and some after years....so its very different results...I am counting on my age and everything to be alright down there, but my period is very different each month. Ones 27 days, ones 42 days.....depends on the stress...i know....I had a very hard year and the last 2 months i moved twice and now finally found an appartmetn i can live...little house...i can finally get some sleep...without being awaken all the time, cause of the noise outside....

brno is close to me, i can go with a car ( 600km)...which means less travel expenses...but did not look into the flights yet, if they get cheaper, since on this part of the world, not many people fly to...

Does anyone know a site where i could get info how to be very good prepared for the baby...organization is the key.... What i need ( bed....itd ), how does a one day look like the first months...with what would i  need help...There is always something you havent thought about and if there excist a page with all the information it would be a big help.

i do not inteed to buy any new stuff, since the baby cant even see anything and he/she does not matter...everything will be used ...what the baby needs is momma    when he /she gets older...that is a different stage than....

Also have to talk to some social institute about goverment helping me as a single mom....you cant help me on that...cause its different in your country...

I think that is all.....I wish i could meet a buddy here thinking of going on IUI and being until 30 years old....And of course every body als....its just this kind of girl is in very similar situation as me.... 

SENDING LOVE TO YOU ALL !!!!

WE ROCK ! WE ARE SUPER WOMEN !!!


----------



## Footsteps

Many thanks for the warm welcome,

It feels such a relief to be able to talk to other ladies who are going through the same journey.  I have told my parents & my sister, who all support me 100% in my decision.  

I have been a lurker on FF's for a little while now, and after reading many threads etc.. I am glad to  have found such a supportive network, that I can share my experience with.   

Footsteps x


----------



## lulumead

Hello footsteps, Emu & Mommy09...welcome to our lovely group.
xxx


----------



## Mommy09

Thank you very much Claire,     

i am reading and reading to get INFORMATION  and waiting for the replay from Brno.   everything will be fine.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Footsteps and welcome,

Not sure about the ethics board - I think that might be specific to your clinic. I (and Rose) had tx at London Women's Clinic which is a private clinic. They require the Welfare of the Child form to be completed and for you to have a session with their counsellor but no board as such. They treat hundreds of single and gay women so are very used to it. I wonder if your hospital is less used to this situation hence the ethics board? Anyway, should not be a problem as long as you can show that you have thought about this and are able to provide for a child (emotionally and practically)
There isn't a single one of us here who hasn't thought this through so thoroughly - I'm sure you are the same and it won't be a problem...
Good luck with all the test results etc, glad you've found us here, do jump in and post on any of the threads you like....

Welcome also Mommy - I think I replied to you on some other threads too!

Suitcase
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Mommy09, welcome to the group and good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Footsteps and Mommy09  

Maya


----------



## Sima

Welcome Footsteps, Hope, Emu and Mommy09.  It's good to see so many new girlies joining the thread.      I wish you all the very best in your journeys.


----------



## winky77

Hello.....

I've just realised I've been a bit lax reading the Newbies thread...but delighted to see our numbers swelling!! 

Big warm welcome to Footsteps, Emu, Mommy09 and Hope. Look forward to getting to know you in the coming months.  You won't look back now you have found the support on here....its what has kept me sane the last 12 months! 

...Winky


----------



## katyw

Hi everyone..

Im new on this site (trying to figure it all out!!)..  Im just starting IVF (Denmark), EC should be 7/8 January.  Im 39, single.  Two failed DIUI's this year in Denmark.  BFP in July with b/friend but resulted split and ectopic pregnancy.  

I dont have any friends in a similar situation so would be lovely to hear from anyone. x

ps my AMH result was 9.28 - is this really bad


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Katy,

Welcome to our ever expanding group! And sorry to hear about the recent split with boyfriend and the ectopic, that must have been a very stressful time for you. 

We're all single here, and all at different stages of this journey, so there is sure to be someone here going through the same as you...

I myself am having my 3rd cycle of IVF at Reprofit in Czech Republic in January - EC around the 23rd I think....so we may just overlap a little on the dreaded 2WW (two week wait in case you're not up on the acronyms yet - confusing at first  )

There's lots of different threads here, so just jump in and post wherever suits you - the Single Abroadies is probably a good start - that's a group of us having treatment overseas - mostly in Czech Republic, but also Spain etc. But really just wherever you feel comfortable - everyone here is very welcoming and supportive

Wishing you all the very best with your IVF,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Katy, welcome to the group, you've come to the right place for advice and support. Good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Katy..
Just jump in wherever you feel comfortable  

Maya


----------



## Sima

Hi Katy

Welcome to the group.  I am sorry to hear about the ectopic pregnancy earlier in the year.  Good luck with the IVF.  Which clinic are you going to in Denmark?  Did you do your DIUI's there.

Sima


----------



## lulumead

Hello Katy...welcome to the group!

sorry to hear you've had a hard year. but great that you are getting on with your plans.  look forward to sharing it with you.

Not sure about AMH levels... but I'm sure someone on here will! they know everything! we could probably start our own advice line!

xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Katy and welcome.
All the best with your treatment - not sure on AMH as there are 2 scales that are used.  
Your consultant should be able to say if they are within the guidelines.

Take care
Mini x


----------



## winky77

Hello Katy....welcome to the board!  I think most of us started off not knowing anyone in the same boat.....but now we know each other ...on-line and increasingly off line too with meet ups and socials and happening to be in the same place at the same time having treatment! .....and it is an ever expanding posse!!!  

Hope to see you on some of the discussion threads....I post on the singlies abroad a fair bit as I am off to Czech for another go in January.  Some of us have imported sperm from Denmark but I don't think anyone else is actually having treatment there at the moment....although I think that is where Tommie went (from Italy). 

Glad you found us ! 

..Winky


----------



## Issy42

Hi, I'm a newbie to this thread.

I've had 8 failed IUID attempts, 5 without Clomid and 3 with. First attempt ended in mc at 5 weeks and also had suspected very early mc on first Clomid cycle. Clinic suggested when I had last treatment that if it failed should consider IVF, which means transferring clinics (but thankfully can keep donor as they use the same bank). Really undecided about whether to keep going with IUI, try IVF or give up and wait for that Prince Charming fella, accepting that he may never turn up. 

Giving up seems heart-breaking but I can't bear the thought of IVF failing too and it seems so emotionally and financially draining. Feel pressured into making a decision though as am 37 and at that crucial age where IVF success rates are still good ... but not for long. The clinic I would go to has a 45% success rate for 35-37 year olds. And would be good to start the referral process this side of Christmas. I can raid some money ear-marked for other things for one IVF attempt and could probably find enough for a second if I accept that I'll be in deep financial mess if my house suddenly needs a new boiler or something.

It's been nearly two years since I first went to my doctor about this and a whole year of IUIs or cancelled treatments when body didn't behave and throughout that time I've not looked for a partner because I haven't wanted the added complication and didn't think it would be fair on the man for me to continue IUI if I started seeing someone. There's a part of me thinks that I've taken myself 'off the market' for long enough and maybe it's better to try and meet someone, not actively but just start going out more, but then I know that the pressure of wanting a child will kill any relationship I might start before it gets off the ground because I'm too honest and open a person not to mention it and I know my cycles too well now not to think about it - and that's assuming that I find someone in the first place!

I know that my negative 'time to give up and move on' thinking is partly due to AF arriving today, I've known from temp she was coming for two days, but I'm still in the 'this is never going to work for me' mindset. Current logical thinking is maybe start the ball rolling for IVF so can have all the pre-treatment tests and scans, so at least I will know if there is some reason why IUI not working and then decide from there and won't lose my donor.

Haven't told my clinic that AF arrived today yet as can't face the what next.

I know I'm the only person that can make this decision, but any thoughts are welcome. Also, anyone have any positive stories of getting pregnant after more than 8 IUIs or on first go of IVF?

Good luck to everyone xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Issy,

And welcome  

Sorry to hear about your early miscarriages (had one myself not so long ago, so I know how tough it is) and the decision you are now facing. 

I had 3 IUIs - 2 unmedicated and 1 medicated - before moving to IVF. I turned 38 just after the 3rd failed IUI and basically I just felt I had to give myself the best possible chance to get pregnant because of my age. So far IVF hasn't worked for me either but I don't regret moving on to it relatively quickly - the success rates for IUI are pretty low at my age and I just felt I wanted to increase my chances. 
There are one or two girls here on the singles thread who got pregnant after their 5th or possibly 6th IUI, but I'm not aware of anyone who had success after 8+ cycles - but that's probably because most of us move on to IVF before we get to that stage.
There are quite a few who had success on first IVF, sadly I'm not one of them, but it does seem to happen quite often....

Since you have been pregnant, I assume your tubes are Ok and there is no problem there? Could be worth having a hycosy to double check both tubes are fully functioning - at least if you are going to continue with IUI - if you move to IVF you don't need the tubes anyway...

I too have given up even thinking about dating or meeting anyone. I can't juggle tx, dating, work and everything else, and so dating was the first to go. Like you, I couldn't start a relationship without being completely upfront about what I am doing, and I just can't imagine a first date going too well on that basis ('so, tell me about your hobbies?' 'well, counting days, scans, injections and diet/no alcohol/lots of vitamins all play a pretty big role'....no, not exactly going to get me many ticks at a speed dating event is it?!)

I know that I want a family more than anything, which in a way makes the decisions easy for me - I'll do what it takes to get there. I suspect I may be slightly obsessed which is not a good thing and I can't even contemplate how I will cope if I am not ultimately successful...but in the meantime I am just focused on each cycle and on trying to get pregnant (and keep it this time  ...)

As you rightly say, none of us can tell you what to do - but maybe think about whether you think you could 'give up' for now, put it aside, go on and live your life and maybe meet someone? Or do you think you will just be filled with regret and not be able to move forwards because you'll be thinking about it all the time? I know I'd be the latter which is why I haven't given up and am determined to keep going with the IVF for now. But maybe think a bit about that and whether you think you can take a break from tx without regret or not...

IVF is definitely more stressful - both on the emotions and the finances, but once you get started it seems less daunting than you think, especially if you take it day by day. And there's great support to be had here from all the lovely women who have been and are going through it

Good luck with the decision, it's not easy and there are so many things to worry about, but hope you manage to work out what's best for you

And do jump in and post on any of the other threads here for a chat....we're a very friendly group and I've had such amazing support from the women here, I would never have got this far without them

Take care,
Suitcase
x


----------



## semma

Hi suitcase
Have just read yr lovely reply, and can soooo empathise with you.  I'm a 38 yr old soon to be 39, have also had 8 iui's all bfn.  I moved to ivf in oct this yr after having endo treated.  Got to EC when it was found that none of my eggs were mature, so treatment was stopped.  Was and still am absolutely devastated.  Having tx no.2 in feb.  Pray it works, but I'm so stressed out, and to complicate things, I'm also trying to find mr. right which adds so much stress, but I feel I need to keep all options open.
Anyway just needed to chip in hope you don't mind
E


----------



## Roo67

Welcome to all our newbies - we seem to be growing in numbers daily.

Footsteps - I have no knowledge of the ethics board but did have to fill in the welfare form. Just a thought but did you have your consult at a private clinic or NHS as this may be the reason that they need to seek ethics approval?

Mommy09 - You will get lots of help and support on here.

katy - sorry to hear that you have been through a rough time lately   When i first started out on this journey nearly 3 years ago now,I thought I was the only one doing this and now have made some wonderful friends from this board. It is so good to be able to help each other, i think i may have given up by now if it wasn't for this board.

Issy - I too had 8 IUI's all of them medicated and didn't even get a sniff at a BFP, I have now had 3 donated embryo transfers, 2 positives which both ended in early M/C. If you have had 2 BFP's with IUI I may be tempted to carry on before moving onto IVF as it is emotionally and financially more draining but there again the stats are a lot higher too.

Semma - Sorry that you have had a stressful time lately - good luck for your next attempt, have they changed your protocol this time around? Were you with Mr T at his private practice for your IUIs? i think you are very brave dating and ttc at the same time - i don't think i would have the energy for both.  

roo x


----------



## Mommy09

I want to ask what test must the clinic do if you choose a friends sperm ?

Iui treattment


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Semma,

So sorry to hear that things didn't go well with your first IVF. Both times I responded well in terms of eggs, and fertilisation rates not bad either, but egg/embryo quality is definitely an issue for me....there are hurdles at every step it seems...

Really hope things go better for you on your next cycle. Do feel free to jump in anywhere here and chat - there's even the weekend thread where we actually don't talk about tx for a change  

Suitcase
x


----------



## semma

Roo
thanks for yr message, yes saw mr T, didn't rate him that much, kept asking him if I should have invest, but he just kept telling me to keep trying.  When I eventually did have a lap and dye it was found I had endo so wasted my money on treatment really.  Yes the dating game isn't easy, I cool it when I have treatment as couldn't cope with it both.  Dreading xmas as another yr older, and still haven't got my dream.  Yes they,ve changed me to short protocol next time round.
Suitcase
Thanks for yr message, how do I access the week end thread? Its great having and being able to get lots of info, but nice to have a break and bit of normality at times too!!.
E


----------



## semma

Suitcase
Forgot to ask you, have they introduced anything into yr protocol to help with egg quality.  I still can't believe that I got such a good response interms of eggs during my tx then it was found none were mature, never realised that could happen.  Nature of ivf I suppose
E


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Semma,

No, nothing specific on egg quality. They say good diet, lots of protein (eat fish, meat, drink milk) can help. I also take loads of different vitamins but not sure if that actually makes a difference. I haven't taken it myself but there is something called DHEA which can help I think. You have to order it from the US. Think Mini used it - perhaps she can tell you a bit more?

Weekend thread is here by the way: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=135199.330

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi everyone, just a quick intro since I haven't posted before, though I've dipped in and out of the website over the past few months.  I have been blessed with one child (using DIUI, 2006) and have had a number of further attempts for a sibling, with no luck thus far.  My last attempt (using DICSI) happened in August and my ovaries refused to play, producing a single egg that didn't fertilise, therefore no transfer...to say I was gutted was an understatement, as I never figured I had fertility issues up till that point - it appears my AMH is now so low that donor eggs are now my only real possibility of getting pregnant.  After a few months of reflection, I have decided to continue my quest by using donor eggs and donor sperm (fortunately, I "banked" several straws of the same variety that helped me conceive my son) and am now scheduled to start a cycle of treatment in January.  In a stroke of amazing good fortune, I have been matched in the UK with a female donor - still can't believe it happened so fast for me as I had resigned myself to heading out to Spain given the general lack of donors in the UK.  Anyway, I know I am incredibly fortunate for having my son, but as far as I'm concerned, my family does not feel complete, and I would really love for my boy to have a brother or sister.  So hey ho, looking forward to chatting with some single ladies undergoing similar journeys.


----------



## indekiwi

Thanks for responding Lou.  I know what you mean re crisis of confidence - coping with one let alone two small people can be such a challenge!  However, I've observed how two of my close neighbours have managed with two under 4s apiece - frankly, though they are both in long term relationships, and their partners are very supportive and loving, the overwhelming brunt of child care, housework, gardening, bill paying etc falls to the two women (one's hubby works long hours during the week and doesn't get up at night, the other's partner travels during the week with his job).  For a large part they might as well consider themselves on their own.  Although both women can feel incredibly harassed on a daily (or should that be half hourly!) basis, their older kids (3 1/2 and 4 1/2 respectively) are far more independent than was once the case, allowing them some respite.  As a result, I figure if they can do it, I can do it too (my boy would be just about 4 when this next baby is born so surely no longer feeding the table his ready brek....)!  That may seem an entirely unrealistic way of looking at things, but then "realistically" I should never have had a child on my own in the first place because it's all too hard and I wouldn't be able to manage....and the subsequent experience has shown that to be completely wrong!  I'm also focusing on the language I use - I want to "flourish" with my kid(s) rather than "cope"  - I'm a big believer in positive thinking....So I'm diving into this process all over again and plan to come up with a wonderful addition to our little family.

Incidentally, I also had a home water birth - your experience made me smile!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Indekiwi - just wanted to say hello and welcome!

Although I haven't yet managed one child, I'd definitely like more than one, and I echo your comments below re your neighbours. My sister has 3 children under 4, all 3 of whom have a hearing impairment which brings with it additional stresses. Her husband is great but basically works from 7am to 7 or 8pm, so during the week she is effectively a single parent. And if she can do it, so can I! My eldest niece turned 4 in September, and it does get easier as they get older - you don't have to constantly watch them, they start to be able to look after (and entertain) themselves....and there are so many benefits to having more than one as they get older - they start to play together and enjoy eachother's company - it's lovely to watch. I'm one of 3 myself and loved having my 2 sisters around (well, most of the time!)

Wishing you lots of luck with your tx, and a very Merry Christmas!
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Suitcase, thx for the welcome - I'm getting pretty excited now about starting again - start date is 7 Jan (Day 21) with a liberal dose of Prostap and then it's a daily diet of progynova to look forward to until I sync with the donor's cycle.  Compared to IVF / ICSI with my own eggs, this is (physically) a much easier process - only one injection in the entire cycle - yippee!  Last time around (ICSI) I felt like a pin cushion, with bruises to match.  I really feel for the donor, who must be a pretty amazing and special woman to go through all this (plus her own emotional roller coaster) for a complete stranger.  Wish there was a way to say how grateful I am and how important it is to me and my son.

Anyway, here's hoping we all meet with success in 2009!


----------



## Lou-Ann

Indekiwi, welcome to the group! Sorry that you have had a tough time trying to conceive again  . Great that you have been matched with a donor in the UK. Good luck for your next cycle of tx  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## indekiwi

Thanx Lou-Ann, just wish I'd known about this site years ago.  I started DIUI back in 2004 having already mulled over things for the previous 2 - 3 years with few reference points to help me on my journey.    Even now, I only know (ie in person!) one woman who tried to conceive as a singlie (she had her son about 3 weeks after mine in 2006) so it's great to read about this community of like minded spirits.    A-Mx


----------



## hopehopehope

Hi there, hello to you all!! i'm starting my first diui in jan, it will probably be in the week i turn 41 - fingers crossed despite low AMH.  Am single and desperate for BFP!! The age issue has now overridden any lingering doubts about the right man being round the corner, i so wish i'd done this when i was 35 - unfortunately was stuck in relationship with a man who turned out to be living a double life till i was 39 - boo hoo to me!!!!
i wish all you singles out there BFP's in 2009, lets' hope its a year of happiness and fulfillment for us all


----------



## Footsteps

Welcome Hopehopehope,

Everybody on here is lovely and very supportive.  

I am due to have my HSG test tomorrow, and will be getting my AMH result too tomorrow... so I have my fingers crossed for a good result for both tests.  I too wish I had maybe started persuing this a few years ago,(now that I am 40) but always thought Mr Right would sweep me off my feet sometime soon..  So hopefully I will be starting tx very soon.  

Wishing you lots of luck and a positive 2009! 

Footsteps x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Footsteps - good luck with the test/test results tomorrow. Hope you get the results you're looking for. I think we all wish we'd started this sooner....it was only when I finally made the decision 12 months ago to actually get started, that I realised I'd been sort of thinking about it for 5 years without doing anything. If I'd started 5 years ago I might not be in the position I am now....but there you go, no point regretting what we didn't do - at least we're doing something about it now

Hope - welcome again! 

Suitcase
x


----------



## Sima

Hi Hopehope    Good luck for your first shot at DIUI.  At least you will always remember the date you got going!  Are you doing medicated DIUI?  

Footsteps - good luck with the tests and the results.  In someways this is the hardest part of the process because we can feel as though we are in a bit of a limbo until the results come back. I guess it is good training for all the waiting we have to do when we start the treatment.  I hope you can get going quickly.

Sima


----------



## some1

Hello

Oh dear, have got very behind on this thread and not sure who I have already said hello to  

Just wanted to say hello and welcome to all the new posters, hope you are finding lots of support and information here.  Sending you all lots of  

Some1

xx


----------



## Footsteps

Thanks for all your good luck wishes,

Well, I went for my HSG today, took my ibuprofen etc.... only to be told, that it would not be done until next week.  How frustrating! esp after taking the afternoon off work.  I got my AMH result, which was 14.9, and my consultant told me that was good for my age. and they did a scan, which confirmed that my uterus & lining etc is all fine, and that they like to see 6 eggs, and we could see at least 9 on the screen etc... so I was very pleased with these results, and it seemed to take the frustration out of not having my HSG, and made my afternoon off work all worthwhile in the end.   

Footsteps x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hope, welcome and good luck with your first DIUI in January  

Footsteps, glad that your test results have come back okay - pain about them not doing the HSG though. Good luck for next week.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

Great news Footsteps.

and hello to Hope, Issy and Indewiki....I don't think i said hi yet!
xxx


----------



## Issy42

Hi all,

I'm feeling like a total idiot today. When I joined FF I posted on the thread for the clinic I'll be going to and must have set something up so I get e-mails when there's another post. Since I hadn't had any e-mails from this thread I assumed I'd inadvertently said something awful and no-one had replied. Doh!  

In actual fact you've all been really lovely and supportive so thank-you very much.

I went ahead with the referral for IVF before Christmas to give me more time to think, got the forms to complete for new clinic in post yesterday and have decided to go ahead with it. All your stories about wishing you'd done it sooner have helped cement my decision, so thank-you. Had a slight wobble when my ex (not the one referred to below) decided he was 'confused' about his feelings for me - men and their timing - but he's now decided he still doesn't love me so that's simplified things and saved me from having to make an even more difficult choice.

Hope - totally with you on the wasting the best child bearing years on a man with a double life - did that from 25 to 33. Good luck with the DIUI. Footsteps - Good luck with the hsg when you do get it.

And good luck to everyone else too.


----------



## Sima

Welcome back Issy.  It can be hard to get a hang of these boards when you first start but it will get easier with time.  I am glad you found us again.  Fingers crossed you will get your initial appt through quickly.


----------



## katyw

Hi all!

I hope you dont mind me popping up!  I've been kindly directed to this thread.

Im not sure how to pop the history part on the bottom so here's a brief part.

39, single, fed up of waiting for the Prince.  BFP in June, sadly ectopic.  Split with partner.  Decided to go the donor route as time running out.  Two failed DIUI's... in the middle of IVF now.  Im going to Denmark for my treatment and sperm donor (Cryos).  I have my scan on Monday and should have EC at the back end of next week (Im excited!).  Hoping to have 3 embies put back in as would love twins - Im eating yams and curly kale like its going out of fashion  

Has anyone had any joy on getting IVF on the NHS by going the sperm donor route?.  West Essex have refused me but Im currently writing to them to get my case across.

Thanks all and best of luck xx


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

I hope that you cycle goes well in Denmark. 

I have not had any luck with any NHS funded cycles or drugs, I don't think that you will find m/any single girls who have had any success with NHS funding for treatment or drugs, even with fertility problems- as I have.
My GP does some routine blood tests for me.  What age are you as well?


----------



## katyw

Hi

Im 39 - 40 in May.... eek!

My AMH result was 9.28 from which I understand is low too...


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Katyw, welcome to the group. Good luck with your treatment next week in Denmark  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## katyw

Thanks Lou-Ann  

I hope i dont lose this thread now and will let you know how it all goes x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Katyw Best of Luck for your treatment.  

I hate to say but at 39 you are already too old to fit the NICE criteria for NHS funding consideration even if they were to fund you as a single woman
://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/pdf/CG011publicinfoenglish.pdf (p41)

L x

/links


----------



## katyw

- thanks for the site L....  there's alot there!

I was going for treatment (test and clomid) on the NHS with my husband and next step was IVF, however, I got pregnant but it was ectopic (I was told I had to be under 40).  He 'bogged' off. Since then I've gone the donor route...then got a letter saying my case would not be funded as West Essex do not pay for donor sperm.  It will be interesting to see what their response is to my letter...hmmm. Kx


----------



## katyw

My god!!! really!!??  that's awful.

Thanks Claire...thankfully my decree absolute is due through next week - yayy!!

x


----------



## katyw

Hi again Claire

Just noticed on your sign off that you are having your EC a couple of days after me!

Are you currently injecting?  Im on 375 of Gonal F since Saturday but dont seem to be getting many side effects apart from stupidity!, tiredness and headaches.  With my IUI I could literally feel my ovaries were about to burst but even tho my Gonal F dose is about 4x higher Im not getting that.  Is that due to the down-regging?  Im sniffing 2x Synarel.

Thanks and sorry for bombarding you with all the Q's! x


----------



## katyw

haha!! yes the pin cushion, last night i could hardly get the needle in my leg! Belly just seems more painful but I havent given it a go yet.

I know what you mean about twinges, thats what i had when I had my IUI's.. well, I'll see Monday whats happening inside I guess.  

How many embies did you have transferred last time? and i assume you are having this done in the UK?

Defo see you on the 2WW then.  This site is invaluable to us singley's isnt it!  

x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Katy,

Just wanted to say welcome...and feel free to jump in and post anywhere on the singles board...there is a single abroadies thread for those of us having tx overseas (mainly Czech Republic at the moment but you'd be most welcome!)

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Katy, welcome, and looking forward to chatting with you going forward!    I wish you lots of luck with your treatment in Denmark.  

A-Mx


----------



## Roo67

Hi katy and welcome.

This site is a life line for us singlies and wouldn't have got as far as I am without all the love and suppoert of everyone here.

Good luck with EC / ET

roo x


----------



## Issy42

Thanks Sima - posted the forms back yesterday so hopefully appointment won't be too far away.

Good luck with your EC next week Katy and Claire.

Can anyone tell me how long you have to wait between IVFs? Am trying to work out my budget to see how many I can afford and useful to know how much might be able to save between treatments.


----------



## Sima

Issy42

I was told to have to leave one natrual AF between treatments.  So I had my IVF treatment in October and got a negative in November.  Dec was my natrual AF so in theory I can go again with Jan AF.  I am going to leave it one more month and will probably go again in Feb but there was really no reason for me to do this.

Sima x


----------



## Jessk9

Hi everyone,

Ive been reading your messages and popped into the chatroom a few times but its the first time ive posted on the forum. I thought it was about time i said hello properly!   

Its been great reading this forum for advice and support. Everyone i have PM'd has been very helpful and nice. Some of your stories are so inspirational and the support you give others is fantastic. 

About me - well i havent actually started my treatment yet. Ive got my GP's (who is lovely!) refferal and ive had my first appointment at Midland Fertility Services. I am now waiting to hear back from them this month to see whether i can arrange a date for some tests or if i need to have a councilling session first. Im 24 so quite young but ive given it alot of thought over the last couple of years and my family & friends are very supportive - especially my mum who i live with! I know 24 sounds young but ive had my own business for over 4 years and im very settled and happy with my life. I work from home (dog grooming salon) which will fit in really well if i hopefully become pregnant & have the baby.  Im hoping to have donor IUI - not sure how many times ill try this before going onto ivf if it doesnt work. I think i'll be able to chat to MFS about treatment plans once ive had my tests done. Im hoping to import the sperm from Xytex but havent arranged this yet as im waiting to get my tests done first and have to organise the importing through my clinic. 

 to everyone & Best Wishes,

Jessica


----------



## bingbong

Hi Jessica,

Congrats on posting, it's not easy saying hi to everyone! Seems like you are progressing well on your ttc journey! As you have discovered the girls here are great and so supportive and someone seems to know the answer to just about anything, which is really rather handy  

Don't suppose that you live near north london? I am desperate for a dog groomer!!  

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and welcome. I look forward to hearing more about your journey.

BB xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Just wanted to say hello and welcome Jess.....just jump in and post wherever you want!

All the best for your first appt 
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Jess and welcome to the group! Wishing you all the best in your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Footsteps

Welcome Jessica,

I am currently in the proccess of having all my tests... and so far so good for a 40 yr young!  Hopefully when all tests are completed, I can then discuss with my consultant what my best options are for my treatment.

But you have come to the right place, everyone on here is lovely & there is lots of support too.

Good Luck with your journey

Footsteps x


----------



## Maya7

Hi just wanted to welcome all the new names to the thread... its good to get new blood in - keeps us dynamic and there are more experiences to share..

Good luck getting started
Love
Maya


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Jessica, welcome on board!  Sounds like you're well advanced with your planning - good for you!

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

Hi Jess, welcome to our lovely group...look forward to hearing all about your journey.
xx


----------



## katyw

Hello again!

and thanks for all the welcomes!  Suitcase/A-Mx/Roo  and hello to Jess.

Had my scan this morning - any advice from you girls?  Im 39.

Day 19 of first day of last period and stimming for 9 days on a high dose of Gonal F.  My lining is 11mm (which is good) and I have 8 follies on one side but 4 are small - 12-14mm, the others are good, 16-18.  then on my left side I only have one!!!! and its a whopper at 21mm but I fear that may burst before I get anwhere.  So I reckon its only a goer with 4 and then there's the worry - are there any eggs in there??  then will they fertilise??  No wonder we all get headaches it cant only be from the drugs  

Hopefully I'll hear back from Denmark shortly and they'll tell me whether to continue stimming or take the trigger shot.

Hmmmm - patience!

Oh & I was told at my clinic in Denmark that i do not have to wait inbetween treatments and can carry straight on if needs be.  

xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hello everyone - blimey its been busy on here!
Katy - those follies sound great - quality over quantity every time!    
Hi Jess and welcome x
Hi to everyone
mini x


----------



## Sima

Hi Katy - Your scan went well.  It looks as though you have a good number of follies too.  Hopefully Denmark will give you a couple more days to let the smaller follies catch up but from what I remember the follies should continue to grow even after you have taken your trigger shot.  So when do you head out to Denmark or are you there already.

Hi Jessica - welcome to the boards.    I wish you all the best with your tcc journey.  You will get a lot of support on here


----------



## semma

Hi to everyone on here
Just have to off load, I'm in the worst place possible just now, and need someone to talk too. 
After a failed ivf in Oct where none of my 10 eggs were mature, and was hopng to have another go in Jan.  But after hurting my back nearly a yr ago and hoping and praying it would get better (it hasn't), I am now being told I most probably need an operation.  Just can't believe my luck.  I've just turned 39 at xmas (worst one ever) haven't got time on my side and now this.  I know no-ones got the answers as to how long this is going to set me back, but the frustration, worry and limitations, this has/is putting on my life just crucifies me.  I have waited so long to start the ivf process, and now I have, its all going to be held up cos of my back.  Also the thought that even when I do eventually start the process again, my egg problem could have got worse, and my dream of becoming a mum may have slipped further away.
Good luck to you all and sorry for off loading
E


----------



## suitcase of dreams

semma,

 

So sorry to hear that it looks like your plans have to be put back

Nothing I can say to help really, if you need the operation it's important to have it so you are in full health for when you become a mum....and I know from a colleague that back pain/back problems left untreated can really cause long term and permanent damage

Am thinking of you, this must be very hard

Hoping it all goes as smoothly and quickly as possible so you can get back to your IVF plans soon
Take care
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Semma, I can only imagine your frustration and dejection at this turn of events.    It must be gutting to receive this news, and perhaps it feels like there is a never ending set of obstacles put in your way just when you come close to making another attempt to realise your dream.    I sure know why you needed to offload - just wish we all could be in your living room to give you loads of    

Since I believe you are a strong individual and full of determination and perseverance (that's what I interpret from your signature and I won't be persuaded otherwise!), I'm sure you will soon start planning your way forward from here.  On a practical level, do you know much yet about what an operation entails and what it would achieve...and the time frame involved?  Presumably you have been referred to a consultant who has given you this untimely information, but perhaps not?  Are there perhaps other, less intrusive forms of treatment you could try?  

Ultimately, the goal is for you to achieve a blissful and back-pain free pregnancy and then run around after a lively bubba with the widest   in the world.  Do whatever you need to do in order to make this your reality as soon as possible.  There are lots of us here that will be cheering you all the way through your recovery from this debilitating situation.  Take good care of yourself sweetheart, and don't let go of your dream or your health - both are just too important.

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

big hugs semma...wish i had an easy way to make it better.  Stay strong, and I hope you find out more about what's involved and it all falls into plan. 
    
Lxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Semma       hope you get back on track soon.... 
take care
minix x


----------



## Issy42

Semma - hope they can sort out your back quickly and you can get on with the IVF.

Hi Jess - hope the DIUI works for you soon.

Thanks for the info Sima, Claire and Katy - though it seems to vary by clinic from your answers. Good luck to you all too (and everyone else).

xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Semma    . Sorry that your plans have had to be put on hold, hope everything is back on track for you soon  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Footsteps

Hi everyone

Welcome Jess

Semma     and wishing you a speedy recovery and that you can continue with your tx very soon.


Had my HSG today and everything was clear.  I can relax a little now that all my tests are done, and have come back with good results. Now I have just got to wait, my consultant said it could be 2-3 mths before treatment starts. 

Footsteps x


----------



## semma

Thank you to you all for yr kind words.  It is so nice to know there are people out there who will support you, even strangers who are so in tune to what this whole process means and the stress it puts on our lives.  I have felt dso desperate and negative lately, I just thank the lord that FF exists otherwise don't know how I'd have coped.
I got my app through today for my MRI scan 20th Jan, and cons app on 9th Feb so hopefully they will find out whats going on and I can get the appropriate treatment.  I am all over the place mood wise, and don't have a lot of motivation to do a great deal either.  Have had to resort to taking regular pain killers to keep pain at bay, something I really didn't want to do as feel it'll affect my ivf when I do start tx again.  I am trying really hard to tell self this is only a blip, but its so hard as my age is against me and obviously there were problems with my last ivf, and I really can't afford to delay it.  
The most frustrating part is, I am so used to being on the go, at the gym, active and energetic, and here I am now, walking like an old women, counting the hours till I can take my next lot of pain killers and plannng ahead to do even the simpliest of tasks.  I pray it wont be for much longer.
Thank you again to all you lovely women who are there supporting me throu this, for letting me off load
and for helpng keep my head above water.
It means so much
E


----------



## Betty-Boo

Semma great mews on MRI scan -   that you're feeling a bit all over the place - that's understandable with a bad back  - I know when mine goes I just want to curl up and hide - and not move... 
Take care mini x x


----------



## Roo67

Semma - glad you have got your appts through. Are you at M'bro for MRI?

off load here whenever you like - we've all been there for one reason or another and it really does help doesn't it ?

R x


----------



## amimad

hi Sima - thanks for the invite to this single girlies' place..
I'm currently on 2WW after undergoing frozen ET last Monday (5th) at IM in Barcelona. Testing day isn't until Jan 19, a week Monday. 
I'm 46.. last relationship ground to a halt in May and was never an exactly stable one, though we have managed to remain mates. Anyway.. although still ovulating, no opportunity to frantically try to conceive naturally, so to speak. Eggs too old for most clinics. Only option was donor egg and donor sperm, and all sounded very complicated. But saw the IM had this very affordable (in comparison I mean!), sweetly named 'embryo adoption unit" and it seemed like the answer - they have been very nice and process so straight forward and simple, so good for sneaking into limited amount of time, work wise.
Only problems have been trying to get scan or blood tests in UK - had all the necessaries in Barcelona, but, for eg, had to go from Dorset (coast) to Bristol for the scan to check womb lining a week before ET. Now, IF I get a BFP, I have to follow up with a hcg blood test.. not sure if my GP can refer me for that, she's very supportive but obviously works with restrictions (don't mind paying but may just not be available!) eg our local and apparently famous fertility clinic won't do anything unless I sign up with their consultant - which costs loads, and,with respect, hasn't actually carried out the treatment! (in fact would have had to 'refer' me to IM anyway!) It would save me a drive to Bristol - but there they were GREAT so if I have to do it again, I will. That's enough...
I'll have to look at the 2WW one tomorrow.. but meanwhile  
I've got a bit of cramping going on today, but hopefully it's for all the right reasons. Everything is swollen but that's almost certainly due to the progesterone pessaries, lovely. Meanwhile the oestrogen patches are irritating in every different place they go.. apart from that I have a load of work for a deadline so that is actually helping take my mind off it (though not helping the work so much.. ie I am on internet instead

Just to say good luck to everyone on here, at whatever stage they are at.. and respect to those who have been doing this for a while...
xxx


----------



## Betty-Boo

amimad
Welcome to the madness and wishing you well on your 2WW!!!

    
Take care
mini x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Welcome amimad - hope the 2WW wait flies by and ends with a positive outcome for you  

Suitcase
x


----------



## kizzi79

Hi all

Well I'm 29, single long term but would really like to be a mum. 

Still at the thinking stage - have gone to an adoption evening and to a fertility clinic open evening.

Think that DIUI may be for me?!?!

Puzzled and scarred but mostly excited.

Any advice on what to look for in the clinics?


----------



## Roo67

Hi amimad and krissi

welcome to our group, you'll find lots of help, support and advice on here.

good luck with you journeys

R xx


----------



## Sima

Hi Amimad - welcome to the group. I am glad you have found us.  Good luck with the 2ww. Progesterone can make everything swell up. I had a lot of swelling in the first week of my 2ww. Fingers crossed the cramping is a good sign.

Hi Krissi - welcome to the group. Where are you based? There is lots to think about in terms of deciding on which clinics to go for. I think the HFEA site is a good place to start. Other factors to consider are 1) will they treat single women, 2) Do they have sperm donors available for use and how long is the waiting list (if they don't have available donors then would you be able to import, 3) Cost (but I think the cost is pretty standard though it can be cheaper outside of London), 4) Success rates, 5) Do you get on with the staff, 6) Location (though some people are happy to travel quite far if they are happy that they have found the right clinic). It will all seem difficult at first but believe me with will all come together pretty quickly and you will probably find that you narrow down your choice quite quickly. You should also take a look at the FF boards since you will find lots of commentary on the clinics from other FF members. Here's a link for starters. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=139.0

Good luck to both of you with your journeys.

Sima xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Welcome Krissi - can't add too much to Sima's comments really. The main issues for us single girls are whether the  clinic is experienced in treating single women overall (don't think any of them can now really refuse, but if they don't have a good track record in single women then you may want to go elsewhere anyway), and the waiting lists for sperm....can be quite long in some places, no wait in others

Beyond that, it's a personal thing - you need to feel comfortable with the clinic and the staff - so visit a few if you have a short list and then go with the one which you feel most comfortable with

Good luck!
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Animad, welcome to the thread and good luck for your 2ww. Here's hoping you have your BFP in a weeks' time  

Krissi, welcome to you too  . You have certainly come to the right place for advice and support - the ladies are here are great! I can't really add much to what Sima and Suity have already said. The HFEA website does give you a lot of info on the clinics, I looked at several in the local-ish area and decided to go with the one closest to me due to travel time and costs. Good luck with your decision making  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## semma

Hi R
No my mri scan is at freeman hosp.  I am having my ivf treatment at LWC darl.

Thank you again to everyone for there support and good wishes.  I have had a more positive day today with friends, my back feels a bit better although I'm doped up with pain killers so think its keeping pain at bay.  Its days like this I just want to ring clinic and tell them I'm ready to begin my ivf treatment.  I know it wouldn't be wise given the state my backs in and all the pain killers I'm taking.  Hopefully it wont be too long before I can begn again.
Good luck to you all
E


----------



## lulumead

welcome Animad & krissi!

Animad: fingers crossed for a good result on your 2WW and that it flies by!
x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

animad and krissi welcome

Animad-Have you tried the Wessex clinic as some of the FF's single girls are there- not sure where you are in Dorset but there are a few single ladies in Hants and the New Forest.  I presume that it is the Winterborune clinic that want you to sign up, this is not unusaul I pay a £500 fee for scans and overseas shared care package in the uK- but you are also getting their prescribing rights etc, many people are stuck with overseas prescriptions and need them transcribing.

There are places in London for scans- the birth centre in Harley St, not sure if that is further than Bristol

L x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Amimad, fingers and toes crossed that you get a wonderful result following your TWW!    

Hi Krissi, welcome to the thread - I'm sure you'll pick up lots of useful information from the ladies here while forming a view on how to proceed.   

Hi Semma, it's great to read you've had some more positive moments over the past few days with your friends - sounds like they've been a real boon when you needed them most!  Being in pain all of the time is physically exhausting and emotionally debilitating so I'm really glad that you are getting some relief through the painkillers.  Hopefully the MRI and consultant will be able to pinpoint what's happening and outline some treatment that you can consider.  Having more knowledge about the causes of your back problem / possible treatment at least gives you back some control of what comes next, and therefore something to work toward...and with luck, enables you to put this thing behind you and back on track.     In the meantime, am sending you lots of (gentle) hugs.    

A-Mx


----------



## kizzi79

Thank you all for being sooo welcoming  

I am in Suffolk so my nearest clinic is Isis in Colchester - I went to an open evening there and they seemed nice. They have a long waiting list for donors (around 6 months) but as lots of saving to do that would be ok I guess. 

Has anyone else used this clinic or know anyone who has?

So much to think about..., but feel quite excited now I've decided this is right for me! 

Thanks all, Krissi

PS Hope your feeling better really soon Semma


----------



## amimad

yes must echo Krissi  - many thanks to all of you for such lovely welcoming comments!!
HI L (is it JJ1? couldn't work it out to say a big thank you before for your welcome)! Yes it was Winterbourne, funny as was referred to basically same consultant etc on NHS a couple of years ago but they couldn't offer me anything as a single woman 'due to sperm shortage' though were as helpful as could be, referring on.
Many thanks though for info re the Wessex clinic.. it's good to know.. although it's probably about the same driving time as Bristol (though could get train to both), but latter seems to be fine for the one-off procedures without signing up so to speak (and they already have a lot of dealings with IM).
re the medication: I've brought all my necessary medication with me back from Barcelona - got the prescription filled out while I was there for FET last week ie all I would need for the extra 70 days should I be lucky enough to get a BFP (and for the next try, if not)
so it is just the early scan and this blood test now which I would have to sort out myself I think. If lucky enough to get a BFP I couldn't afford to go private for the rest of it, alas! especially at moment in case I need to try again - time being a bit limited now!!
Just logged on briefly.. can't wait for a few work deadlines to pass so I can have a good mooch around on here, and sort out my profile stuff!!
fingers crossed for everyone in their different endeavours!!
xx


----------



## katyw

hi everyone

Sorry i've missed alot and not up with the latest, just got back after a week away.

I went to Denmark for IVF.  Story is (with me turning 40 in May) - I had 3 grade 1 embies transferred (I did have to beg to get three put in but am v happy with that and the grade 1's seen as I had a low AMH result).  This was on Sat 10th. My boobs have gone up 2 sizes and are fit to burts with veins protrouding - is this normal??  I feel a bit sicky too and off my usual foods (like when i was pregnant before - ectopic).

Sorry for the rush and not catching up with everyone else's news...just back at work and sneaking in a quick one  

Happy thoughts to all xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Good luck with the 2WW wait Katie...I'd imagine since it's only a few days post transfer, that your symptoms may be more down to the progesterone support you are on (assume you are on cyclogest or something similar) rather than preg hormones themselves....did you have 3 or 5 day transfer?

anyway, hope it's all a good sign and you get the positive news you're looking for - when do you test? maybe pop along to the 2WW thread...Lulu and Cem will be there soon too - you can all compare symptoms  

Good luck  
Suitcase
x


----------



## katyw

thanks suitcase - I'll do that!

I had a 2-day transfer....  

I have to have a blood test Mon 26th ....long wait!!! xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

All the best katy.. take care and rest up x x x


----------



## some1

Just a quick post to welcome Katy, Jessica, Animad and Krissi !  Glad you have found us!

Semma - sorry to hear what a rough time you have been having - hope your MRI scan goes well next week.

Some1
xx


----------



## Jessk9

Hi everyone,

Thanks for the lovely welcome   sorry i havent posted for a while. Sorry this will be a longish post as so much has happened! ......

i heard back from MFS & they said they were happy to treat me but id have to have a session with the councillor  (no problem). They didnt tell me what tests i needed to have done - just said after seeing the councillor they would do my tests. When i first contacted them i asked if i could import sperm from xytex - they asked an embryologist who said it would be ok if the sperm bank met hfea requirements etc. However when they phoned me they said that they wont import sperm and id have to wait 6 - 18 months for donor sperm in the UK. I asked why they wouldnt import and the nurse said it was because xytex didnt meet hfea requirements - i said it does as ive checked but the nurse said well it doesnt meet our requirements for our clinic even if other clinics are happy to import from there. She need say they might be able to in the future but maybe not.  If they had told me they def wouldnt import when i first contacted them then i wouldnt have gone there & paid £130 to see a nurse! Anyway! so i had an option to either stay with MFS and continue with wait for sperm in the UK or to change clinics to somewhere that would import for me. It took me a few days to work things out in my own mind on what would be best! I contacted Xytex and got a list of clinics that already import and i contacted a few of them to confirm that they would be a) happy to treat me without having to have a meeting & b) that there would be no problem to import. I thought that if i paid to have a look at all donors extended profiles on xytex then ill know that either i'll really like one & be happy to use their sperm! or that i wouldnt be able to choose & maybe it would be better not knowing so in that case i would stay with MFS. Well, the donors were far better looking & nicer than i thought they would be! I had about 6 that i would of been happy to use but one that stood out from all the others! So i then knew that it was worth changing clinics and importing as i was so much happier knowing the info about the donors and seeing photos. I contacted the LWC Cardiff who were really, really helpful and have told me which hormone tests to get done before i go for my first consultation so that they can plan treatment when i am there. They will then tell me which other blood tests to get done and i can get my GP to do those - no problem at all. I contacted Xytex to say I was interested in the donor which i really liked and they emailed back to say only 4 ICI vials were available. I was worried about loosing the chance to use this donor so i phoned Cardiff to check which type of vial was suitable (whether they washed the sperm as part of IUI process anyway - which they do) and if it was ok to reserve now. Then i emailed xytex & reserved 4 ICI vials which I can use for either IUI or IVF treatment. Sperm is now on reserve in USA and will be shipped after my first appointment at LWC. Im SO unbelievably happy with donor (looks, personality, health  - everything!)   & im very relieved that ive got the vials saved for me! 

So my next step now is to wait for day 2 - 3 of cycle to get hormone blood tests then once I have my results I can go to LWC (no wait for appointment), then organise with them importing sperm and then hopefully, all being well I can start treatment within a few months.   

Ive been to doctors this week and had a smear test done as i hadnt had one before & LWC needed the latest smear result. Thought it would be better to get it over with! It was absolutely horrible - took the nurse nearly 30 min as I had to keep asking her to pause because i was in so much pain   . She kept saying that she should stop and i could go back in a week to try again but i knew that if i did that i wouldnt sleep for stressing about it for the next week! Im pleased its over but im a bit worried about having the scans and treatment now. Oh well - it will be worth it if i get pregnant! 

Sorry its been such a long message! I'll have to chat on here more often so i can just do little updates!  Hope you are all ok,  

Jessica


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Jessica,

Sounds like it's all been a bit stressful but at least you're sorted now and you seem to have found a way forward which really works for you, so that's great news!

Sorry to hear the smear test was uncomfortable. I suffer with those too - something to do with a difficult to reach cervix or something. My clinic have always had to use a smaller speculum for the IUIs/embryo transfers and whilst I can't say it's been pain free, it's certainly been bearable!

Hope all the tests go well and you can get started soon. Meantime, do feel free to post on any of the threads, we all post pretty much everywhere anyway...so don't feel you have to be having a specific tx to post on that thread  

Suitcase
x


----------



## Jessk9

Thanks so much for lovely message. I think they used the smallest speculum - oh dear! lol hopefully it wont hurt as much next time - maybe the nurse at clinic will find a way to do it so it doesnt hurt as much, or make me more relaxed somehow?! 

Thanks will def post more. Will prob need loads of advice once ive got treatment options. At least things are moving forwards now and ticking the boxes! started taking pregnacare everyday now. 

Chat soon,

Jessica


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Jeesk9 so pleae that you have the sperm and a friendly clinic- 
L x


----------



## Maya7

Hi to Jessk9 and welcome!!

You have had a baptism of fire, havent you? ... Reading your post I can see that you have the right sort of attitude to help bring you through the often frustrating process of tx... You have achieved a lot so well done with that.

About the speculum issue...I dont have difficulties with the longest one but do when they use the shorter ones so that might be worth investigating specially if you are pursuing iui...

Best of luck moving forward  
Maya


----------



## Jessk9

Thanks so much for the nice messages   I'll mention that to clinic about the speculum. 

Jessica


----------



## Betty-Boo

Jessica - good to see you've got you sperm sorted... 
All the best mini x


----------



## bingbong

Hi Jess,
Really good to read your update, sounds like you have been busy! Great that you have done what felt right for you with the sperm, very impressed that you picked a donor so easily! 
Sorry about the horrible smear, I had one this week so do identify, although it didn't take so long but I did burn my leg on the hotter than hot radiator right next to the bed, I think that the pain from that distracted me from what the nurse was doing.  

Anyway, good luck from here and I look forward to hearing how you get on!

Bingbong x


----------



## Roo67

Jess - glad that you have made a decision that you are comfy with. can really identify with your smear, the last one i had (well 3 as not enough cells each time!) ended up with 2 nurses peering up there trying to find my cervix , have more or less resigned myself to put up with the pain now after so many IUI's and 3 FET's  hopefully only one more to go !!

Good luck for your treatment

R x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Re; speculum It is many years since I have done smears but I recall being taught that sometimes it is easier to do smears with a longer speculum (Winterton's) even for the ladies that you might not expect, it is all about visualising the cervix clearly and not causing trauma, you can pull the longer ones back more!
L x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Jess, glad that you have got your sperm sorted out  . 
Good luck....

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Jessk9

Thanks for all the messages.

JJ1 - Thanks, I'll remember that about the speculum and mention it at the clinic. 

R -that sounds terrible having 2 nurses! I really hope they got enough cells - i definately do not want to go through that again unless im having IUI. Poor you having to have 3 - must have been awful for you having to keep going back.

Bingbong - choosing the sperm donor was actually quite easy! a girly evening in with my best friend & mum - we had a takeaway and then donor sperm shopping looking through all the profiles!   It was an unanimous decision and everyone I show his photo to says wow! Im really chuffed with donor choice - just felt like it was meant to be!  Thats awful about the radiator,  ouch! - at least it took your mind of it a bit! really bad though the nurse not noticing that before.

Lou Ann & mini the minx - thanks for your messages  

Jessica x


----------



## Issy42

Hi everyone. Sorry been absent from the thread for a while. Welcome Amimad and Krissi.

Jess - I'm with you on smears. I used to struggle with them so a nurse friend of mine suggested going to the local GUM clinic instead of GP. They taught me a trick which sometimes works - have a conversation about something totally different with the nurse - they got me to imagine my perfect holiday and tell them about it. The different speculum really makes a difference too. My clinic uses the thinner ones with me but sometimes that's difficult for them when my cervix is playing hide and seek, so one of the nurses said she uses the longer ones when that happens, as the widest part is outside.

Katy - did your 2WW end this weekend? Any news?

I have my first appointment at the IVF clinic tomorrow. Had a huge list of questions, but now I need to write them down can't remember any of them.

Got my blood tests back from the GP. Only my neutrophil count was just outside 'normal' levels - hope just because I had a cold when the test was done. Copied results in below as thought the reference levels might be useful for anyone else having tests done. Though I think different laboratories have different reference levels. (Also added in some stuff I found googling when I first had bloods done in June 07 - can't remember where exactly I got the info from).

Day 3 LH = 5.9 u/L	
Reference
Follicular phase: 0.8 - 12.5
Midcycle: 8.7 - 76.3
Luteal: 0.5 - 16.9
Pregnant: <1.5
Post menopause: 15.9 - 72.6

Day 3 FSH = 4.9 u/L	
Reference
Follicular phase: 1.5 - 11.4
Midcycle: 3.4 - 34.2
Luteal: 1.1 - 9.5
Pregnant: <0.3
Post menopause: 23.0 - 132.9
(Google search says > 9 indicates poor fertility)

FSH:LH ratio = 4.9:5.9 = 0.83 (google search says >2.5 is an issue)

Full Blood Count
HB 13.9 g/dL	(11.5 - 16.5)
WBCs 5.3 10*9/L	(4 - 11)
Platelet Count	211 10*9/L	(150 - 450)
RBCs 4.54 10*12/L	(3.5 - 5.8 )
Haematocrit	0.408 1/1	(0.37 - 0.47)
MCV 90 fL	(84 - 102)
MCH 30.6	pg	(28 - 33)
MCHC 34.1	g/dL	(30 - 35)

Differential white cell count
Neutrophil count	1.9	10*9/L	(2.0 - 7.5)
Lymphocyte count	2.8	10*9/L	(1.0 - 4.0)
Monocyte count	0.5	10*9/L	(0.1 - 1.5)
Eosinophil count	0.1	10*9/L	(0.04 - 0.4)
Basophil count	0.0	10*9/L	(0.0 - 0.15)

Hope everyone is well. Good luck and take care xx


----------



## katyw

Hi Issy42
Have to be really quick as at work and have prying eyes....

its a BFP!!!

Cant believe it!!  I feel very happy and very happy!

Will log back on later

xxx


----------



## Sima

Wow Katy - congratulations.  You must be very pleased.  Some good news at last.


----------



## Maya7

Katyw

CONGRATULATIONS!!!



Hope all goes well for you!

Love
Maya


----------



## Betty-Boo

Go katy!!!  That's brilliant news      
Take care
mini x x


----------



## katyw

Thanks everyone  

It's still sinking in and early days yet.  I've had a previous ectopic.

Also coming up to 40 with low AMH results - 9.28 so I hope that gives others some inspiration.  It can get tough at times.

Good luck to all!
xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Congratulations Katy, wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy.....

Suitcase
x


----------



## Issy42

Congratulations Katy. That's great news. Glad I asked now.           Hope this is a sticky bean for you.

I have just had my first consultation, have to have an AFC scan on day 2-5 of next cycle and then they are fully booked for February, so can't start IVF until March which means April really as starts on day 20 for next cycle. So definitely no 2009 baby for me . I know it doesn't seem like that long a wait but I already waited from May 2007 to Feb 2008 for the IUI to start and it's frustrating to have to join another waiting list. Choose your clinics carefully girls - find one that does both. 

I guess this is one of those frustrating at doing this alone times as couples can at least try to conceive naturally during the wait. Really wish I'd moved to IVF sooner now as could have had those last few IUI attempts whilst on the waiting list. Both clinics are in the same corridor and I had to speak to the nurse at my former clinic to clarify some confusion about the donor sperm, so I asked about having IUI during the wait. Initially she said no, but then said I could if I wanted to. 

What do you think, should I have a 9th try at IUI or just wait 3 months for the IVF?


----------



## indekiwi

KatyW - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!    I hope all goes smoothly while you wait for your first scan - just brilliant good news!

Issy42, the waiting to even get off the starting block is so frustrating!  I also had hoped to be finally on my way for a 2009 baby, but my donor postponed by a month and given the elongated timing of the treatment, I won't finally get my embryo transfer until getting on for mid March, and of course even if I fall pregnant straight off, pregnancy lasts 10 months not 9.....moo!    Still, I don't care which year, as long as I do fall pregnant.    Re IUI, it really depends on your finances I suspect, rather than anything else.  Certainly gives you something to focus on and you never know, it may just work for you as lucky no. 9!  Good luck, regardless.  

A-Mx


----------



## JulesD!

Hey Everyone!

Another newbie! Have been lurking for sometime, reading all your posts, what a roller coaster of emotions you are all having, I can totally understand how the group can be so supportive and help you through it all. I feel better already just knowing I'm about to put my feelings down and get it out in the open.

Here it is - I'm a young straight single (27) and in the early stages of considering anonymous iui and becoming a SMC.  Just over 5 months ago I started feeling really broody, imagining my life as a Mom and considering the iui way. Have never had such strong feelings before, was never into babies/children even though I knew i probably would want a family one day - I was too into my career and having a good time. 

I have had these broody feelings on and off for the last 5 months or so and I feel so ready to settle down and have a family - have a good established career, own house and have definately had my fair share of fun. Problem is though that I have never had a serious relationship in my life, had plenty of boyfriends and casual dating but they've never lasted longer than a few months. And to be honest I have finally realised that a man does not make me happy, I am so much happier being single and having men as friends, I know exactly where I am! 

I am really close with my Mom  and have talked at long length with her about all this, she is really supportive and said she will be, but she thinks I should wait a little longer. I think she is right to a point even though I know I am ready, want this more than anything and to do it while I am still relatively young and while my parents are both still here (to see their grandchild and help support me emotionally as its such a major choice)

I have gone through all the thoughts (will I cope with a baby, who will I tell the truth to, should I tell the child and how, is it fair that the child will be fatherless etc etc), got the Louise Sloan book,browsed the internet for info, but I guess the major thing that makes it feel wrong is that I am so young. But how do I know when is the right time/age?!

I hope this doesn't sound bad/selfish - would appreciate any thoughts/comments from anyone who's been in a similar dilema, and also ladies who can offer advice from an unbiased viewpoint.

Thanks - sorry about the length, didn't think I'd have so much to say till I started   Jules xx


----------



## indekiwi

Welcome JulesD, hope you'll find this board as supportive and friendly as I have.    The only thing I would say about age and setting out to be a single mum by choice is that it's a very personal decision to make - from my own perspective, if I have any regrets at all, it's that I started down this road relatively late (mid-late 30s) and as we know, fertility starts falling over a cliff around this age.  Good luck with your choices, and it's fantastic that you have support from your parents.   

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Katy, congratulations on your BFP   - great news!

Jules, welcome to the group  . You have come to the right place for advice, support and information. I thought that I was relatively young to be starting on this journey, but some of the ladies on here (who are slightly older) say how they wished they had started their journey sooner. Only you can know if it is the right time for you. Great that you have got your mom's support  . Good luck with your decision making and your journey.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

great news Katy...congrats.
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Katy - congratulations that's lovely news!

Jules - welcome to our wonderful singles community. Like some of the others have said, you have a definite advantage over many of us here in that you are young and have time to really work through your thoughts and be sure this is the right path for you. It's a very personal decision and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you - whenever that may be. Claire's suggestion of a counsellor is a good idea - just to explore your thinking in an objective environment. It took me about 6-7 years of vaguely thinking about this before I took action, and now I'm worried it's too late - so I wouldn't recommend that long! But a few more months of thinking and exploring your feelings on this certainly won't hurt at 27. In the meantime you could get some of the blood tests etc done so you are ready to start when you feel the time is right. Good luck, whatever you decide....

Suitcase
x


----------



## Maya7

Jules - welcome  

I think you have had some good advice from the others ... I think if you are up for it Claire's advice of the counselling is a good way to help you move forward... and if you need to feel you are being proactive, it may be an idea as suity has mentioned to get some of the exploratory tests done...getting an indication of your ovarian reserve, how your tubes are looking and making sure you are up to date with smear test may even help you to sharpen up your feelings... if you need to rectify anything you will not have lost time...

Best of luck with thinking things through

Maya


----------



## some1

Congratulations Katy - fantastic news !!!

Welcome to the threads Jules - sounds like you have been doing a lot of research and talking things through already.  Deciding to have a child on your own is a huge and very personal decision and definitely needs careful thought.  

You asked for some unbiased advice - now I think that is quite difficult for any of us to offer - as we have all ultimately come to the decision to become single mothers.  It is quite possible (probable even) that for every 1 of us there are many, many more women who would urge you most strongly to not go ahead (the women who considered this option, then found Mr Right).  I am quite at ease with my decision, I feel that although it is far from ideal to be bringing a child into the world without a Daddy, I have made the best possible decision for me at this point in my life.  But, I wouldn't have made the decision in my twenties - there were just too many possibilities about how my life would turn out.  Even when I did make my decision, I chose a clinic with a longer waiting list because I needed the time to really come to terms with what I was doing.  Maybe a good option for you would be to start the ball rolling, have some investigations done (you can probably get these done on the NHS - I did), speak to a counsellor, get on a UK sperm waiting list (took more than a year for me to get to top of list), save, save, save (the more money you have behind you the better - both for treatment and for motherhood!) and in the meantime you can really come to terms with the idea.  Oh, and, as the 'many, many more women' I mentioned above would say - keep an open mind about men - just because none of the men you have had relationships with have made you happy, doesn't mean that one isn't about to turn up! - The problem for us ttcers, single mummies and mummies to be is that the right man hasn't turned up before our clocks starting ticking very loudly!! 

Hope this doesn't read like a lecture, and like I said this is a very personal decision, hope my comments have been useful!

Some1

xx


----------



## JulesD!

Just wanted to say a big thanks for your lovely welcoming and all your great words.  I feel so much happier for it!

I am going to take your advice and give myself more time, a good few months to keep thinking it over, and if I still feel the same or stronger, then I'll make an appointment to see a counseller and take it from there.

Best wishes to you all, & thanks again, Jules xx


----------



## jdm

Hello everyone - Just wanted to introduce myself - I'm Justine and I'm 36 and I had my first IUI at London Women's Clinic on 15th January, so I think that means I can test on Friday morning - is it 14 days from the day you have the IUI? I already have a little boy who's 3 which made all the getting to and from London from Suffolk that bit more challenging, but hopefully all worth it in the end! Good luck to everyone else

Justine x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Justine, welcome, and good luck with this attempt to fall pregnant!     You will find another thread here which is devoted to single women who are on their two week wait following treatment - there is quite a bit of chatter on there as to when you can test (and how hard it is not to test too early!  )  I also have a nearly 3 year old so am most impressed that you managed to commute between Suffolk and London with no doubt a lively toddler whilst retaining your sanity and sense of humour AND concentrating on your IUI.   

A-Mx


----------



## jazzys_mum

some1 said:


> Hello!
> 
> After Misti's post the other day I thought it might be helpful to have a welcome thread for any single women who are not sure where to start posting. We have so many threads on here now it must be pretty daunting for anyone new - I know I lurked for months before I dared to post!
> 
> So, if you are new and reading this, please feel free to post - we are a very welcoming bunch !
> 
> Some1


Hi I'm a newbe on here not sure how it works - have been amaxed at some of the posts you are all so brave. Ive recently turned 40 am single and would like to go it alone - hope i'm not too late. I know very little about how it all works so hoping for some advice.

Thanks


----------



## Roo67

Hi Jazzy_mum and welcome to our thread - just jump in wherever you fancy, we're a freindly bunch.

R x


----------



## indekiwi

Jazzy_mum, welcome to the crew - it's becoming quite sizeable!    There are some incredibly knowledgeable people here so if you post a question or two on whatever thread seems most relevant you're sure to get a response.    Good luck!  A-Mx


----------



## Sima

Hi  Justine - Welcome to the boards.  Good luck on the 2ww.  Not long to go now    

Hi Jazzys_mum - welcome too.  Well done on finding us   It can be very daunting at first but everyone is very friendly and very helpful so do feel free to post a question whenever you are feeling confused.  I hope it won't take you too long to get the ball rolling


----------



## jdm

Thanks for the welcomes and the good wishes - not long to go now! Fortunately my little boy loves trains so the train journeys weren't so bad - and then I downloaded loads of episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine on to my I-Pod for him for when we were at the clinic - an absolute godsend!!! (He never gets to watch that much TV normally so kept him entranced for ages - and me sane!)
Justine x


----------



## jdm

It's on I-tunes - if you go to the TV shows menu and go to children's shows they've got all of series 8 on there - and loads of other kids shows - I always download new ones for long car journeys! - good luck! x


----------



## Jessk9

katyw - Wow Congratulations     That is fantastic news 

Jules - I wouldnt worry about being too young. Im only just 24 and i know that the time is right. Im completely happy with my decision and dont see the point of waiting a couple of years when i know that i wont change my mind. I also have my mums support which means the world to me! couldnt do all this without her! Im straight as well and have had a few boyfriends but im happy as i am and dont feel like I need a man. Ive got my own business all set up & established (for last 5 years), moved house with my mum (got the mortgage myself) so now living where i want to stay and i just feel that there is no point waiting when i could be hopefully be spending the next few years with my child. If i meet someone in the future then thats great - they would just have to accept me & my child as a package. I know that my child would always come first before any man! Nothing to say i would meet someone anyway and i dont want to take the risk of waiting. Also i would feel like I had to meet someone to have a baby with instead of just being with them because i enjoyed their company - if that makes sense! 

It takes a while anyway with the tests and waiting for results - you could always start the journey towards treatment but choosing a clinic, having a consultation, seeing a councillor & getting the tests done. Then after all of that if you are ready then thats great and you can start tx or you could wait till you feel the time is right. You might want to think about whether you want to use UK sperm which could mean a 6 - 18 month wait (depending on clinic - some have no wait at all!) or if you wanted to import sperm so you can see a photo & get more info. Neither way is better - its just your thoughts & decision thats important   

Hope it helps chatting to people on here - its really helped me! 

Jessica


----------



## lulumead

Hello jazzys-mum and JDM...welcome to our lovely group!
x


----------



## jdm

Thanks Lulu - and glad the I-Pod tip was helpful Coco!

IUI didn't work at this time - AF arrived today   

I've had a lot on my plate this month anyway with my little boy starting pre-school, breaking up with a guy I'd just started seeing (just the kind of stress I needed - going to avoid that this time!) and lots of work on. Going to wait this month to get over all of that and then try again when all is a bit calmer next month - will be nice to be able to give it a lot more of my attention this time!

Justine x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Justine and Jazzy, welcome to our ever-expanding group!  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Issy42

Welcome Jules, Justine and Jazzys_mum.

Thanks for the post A-M. I realised I probably can't have IUI again because the Clomid might interfere with the AFC scan for the next cycle and presume you can't try the cycle you start IVF drugs. I'll just have to be patient and wait for April.


----------



## jazzys_mum

Hi
Thanks to everyone who replied to my first post - eventhough I somehow put it in the wrong place!

Just a little bit more about me Jazz is my dog and I'm her mum and love her to bits. But since turning 40 in November I am increasingly consumed (almost obsessed) with thoughts about becoming  a proper Mum. I know very little about the journey that most of you are on. Having read about the time and the financial implications I am wondering if I am probably too late! I have read that not many people over 40 can conceive after 40 and I couldn't afford IVF.

I know very little about my own fertility levels as I have never tried in the past. I am very wary of going to my GP as I suffered from anxiety some years ago and I worry that he may think I'm not fit to be a mum and certainly not this route.

Could anybody tell me what their experiences are with their GP's when they first approach them and any advice.

Also I have also only found the LWC that openly welcomes single women. I live in Northants in the Midlands does anyone know if there is a clinic nearer to here where I could have some preliminary tests carried out? Do I need to be refered by my GP?

Sorry - I think I am probably the most naive on here - most seem to know more than me!

jazzys_mum


----------



## Footsteps

Hi Jazzys_mum,

Welcome!

I was in exactly the same predicament, few months ago.. I turned 40 in June, didn't know my fertility levels etc.. and wanting a baby.  I did finally pluck the courage to see my GP in Nov about where to ge etc.. she was very understanding, and she arranged for bloodtests for all my hormone levels on the NHS, I had to ring a few local fertility clinics, and sort that out (you can look these up on the HFEA website, which I was unaware at the time) and once I found one that treated single women self funding, all I had to do was pass on the consultants name of who I was seeing, on to my GP for her to refer me to that clinic.  Since then, the clinic have organised all my fertility investigations.. at a cost and so far all is good.  I am at still pre-treatment, but hope to start my treatment soon.  I am still very naive about all this, but I am picking it up fast as I go through the process, and you pick up lots of information on here too.(this site is an absolute godsend!)

I also suffered with anxiety many years ago, but I have not got any concerns about this affecting me becoming a mum.. I think most people suffer with anxiety at some stage. 

Everybody on here is lovely, and if you post any queries on here that you may have, how trivial you may think it is, somebody on here will be able to assist you.  

Wishing you lots of luck!!

Footsteps x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Jazzy's mum - nothing to apologise for, we all start off knowing very little and this site provides a wealth of knowledge....

re clinics, I'm in the south and have used LWC (now abroad) but there are other options. some1 and some of the other ladies used MFS (Midland Fertility Services) so they def treat singles and are in your area. I'm sure one of them will be along to comment soon

The Midlands girlies are meeting up in B'ham on 14th Feb for lunch, so if you're around, why not join them and have a chat about your options in person? There's a thread for the meet up...check it out if you're interested

re GPs - they tend to vary at bit in how helpful they are but at the very least they could run some basic blood tests for you. Any clinic will need FSH/LH at the very minimum (bloods taken on day 2-5 of your cycle)

No need to be referred to a clinic by your GP, but the benefit of getting GP to do the tests is that's free. You could then take the results along to first consultation

Good luck! 
Suitcase
x


----------



## Elpida

Hi Jazzy's-mum

Do come along for lunch on the 14th - a very informal gathering in Pizza Express, should be good fun. 

Midland Fertility Services, Birmingham Women's Hospital, BMI Priory Birmingham and Leicester ACU all treat single women but the availability of sperm is a problem - Leicester have some (or did a couple of months ago) and do medicated IUI at cost of about £1000. I think MFS and BWH have waiting lists (others on this board are being treated at these clinics so can advise). I'm at the Priory having IVF.

E x


----------



## jazzys_mum

Thank you sooooo much Footsteps, Suitcase & E

The gathering on the 14th sounds  great. I don't know about the rest of you but I find it really difficult to talk to my family about this and I have been thinking after reading some of the stuff on here that it will be a tough thing to do on my own and worry without anyone to chat stuff through with - could start anxiety again  and it would be good to meet single women my age in similar situation not easy to find am feeling  again.

With regard to the costs its clear that i don't have time to save and feels a bit irresponsible to put on credit but clock is ticking really hard decision.

My problem is I always want everything to to perfect probably why i'm in this situ its never the right time and sometimes maybe you just have to do what your heart tells you as I dont want to regret for the rest of my life.

this is turing into an essay!

I understand its cheaper at Reprofit but do you think i should start in Uk and see what happens?

J'sMum


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hi Jazzys_mum

Welcome to our world!  You'll get plenty of advice of support here, glad you have found us  

Try not to let anxiety put you off with your GP - it's an expensive game so definately worth a try to see if you can get some of your intial tests done.  I have had depression & anxiety and my GP is helping so far ... have had my blood tests and initial consultation at a clinic on NHS - every penny helps.  Although not everyone is so lucky so try not to take it personally if they won't do them for you.  If you have a look round the site there are discussions about which anti-depressants are safe in pregnancy so that alone really shouldnt go against you.  

The credit card is only something you can answer .... I couldn't because I know I'd never manage to clear it very quickly, I'm re-mortgaging instead.  I don't have savings so am looking for a mortgage with payment holidays - with a view that I will get my dream and be pg and be needing maternity leave. 

Anyway, I'm rambling now    Just wanted you to know where there is a will there is a way!  With regards to reprofit - I'd try to get your initial tests done here, preferably on NHS find out about treatment options for you and take it from there. 

Good luck with your journey, ask away if there's anything you want to know - hopefully see you on 14th!
Jovi x


----------



## jazzys_mum

Thanks Jovi

Its nice to know others have been in similar boat - i think sometimes with this you start to doubt everything about yourself.

In respect of the meds for anxiety i know mine are not good but particularly in 3rd trimester so would have stop but have reduced massively recently and this is my goal at the mo to get rid of them

As you are in the Midlands which clinic are you at? Maybe I could ask my GP to be referred there if initial consultation free. Did they ask lots of questions about your circumstances or were they just interested in the medical side?

J'S_mum


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Jazzysmum it's NHS so would probably fall out of your area - I'm in Warwickshire. If you ask your GP to refer you there should be an NHS clinic in your area - I'm not sure if you have to stay in your local area or not?

Just had a quick google ..... this one accepts NHS patients. Sure someone will know more than me and will be along to advise about the referral process. I don't know about waiting lists, for me it was only a month. I think at least your GP can give you forms to get blood tests and then refer you for an initial consulation ...... if GP refers you as an NHS patient then you shouldn't have to pay for initial consulation - can anyone confirm?

http://www.carefertilityweb.co.uk/aboutus/aboutus.shtml I'm quite sure ladies here have used Care so hopefully you'll get some more advice.
http://www.nhs.uk/ServiceDirectories/Pages/hospital.aspx?id=RNS01&v=1&svid=134861 found this one too, this probably looks more likely for NHS referal.

I'm also reducing / stopping meds - very slowly. Have started vitamins etc so you could look into that while getting your info together - ideally you want to start them at least 3 months before treatment.

You have come to the right place here, it's a great place to be starting out, you are in good company!


----------



## jazzys_mum

thanks for your advice and googling   i've done a lot of that before i got here. I am aware of care in Northampton which would be good in terms of travel and i think it has a good reputation but have looked on their web site and was unsure about singles - i have heard so much about single women not being welcome i was scared of ringing them to be honest. The only one i could find who OPENLY welcomed singles was WMC and like you say was so expensive and difficult to get to I almost gave up - then i found this site!!

I really think after what has been said on here tonight I should start with my GP, my own GP is a man and we really don't see eye to eye but i have stuck with him beacuse he knows my meds ect. But I know there is a new female GP recently joined the practice and I understand she is quite approachable so I may try her first - nothing venture nothing gained as they say. Unfortunately due to past bad experience as I said I am bit wary of GP's and what they write when you leave the consultation. But in view of the costs i need as much help as i can get.

Thanks again for all your advice.

J's_mum xx


----------



## jazzys_mum

Just wanted to say Jovi I know exactly how hard it is and what it is like to be reducing meds slowly especially with everything else going on so i really wish you good luck with that -perhaps we can support each on that one xxx

J'smum


----------



## Betty-Boo

Jazzy's mum - all the best with finding someone you can truly feel comfortable with... 
My doc here (Scotland - male) is brilliant and has put my welfare first... am also now on meds for anxiety and stress - but only to see me through this month - He didn't really want to give me anything as am ttc.  I really hope you find a good doctor who will listen as they make this journey less stressful than it needs be.  Plus he is really fascinated with what we are doing and thinks we are amazing... Take care       mini x x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Jazzy, I too am at Birmingham Women's and needed a referral from my GP (also male, who was a little surprised at my request to be referred and wasn't sure if this route was an option). I was firstly referred to the gynae dept for tests (bloods and HSG) and i'm now waiting for a consultation (11th March) to discuss test results. These tests have been carried out on the NHS. Follwing this consultation I will be referred to the ACU, who told me at the beggining of the year that the wait for donor sperm was approx 6 months.

Hope you get on okay with the new GP  
Good luck!

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Candee

Hi
I have only just discovered the site, when I was searching for a clinic abroad.
I feel quite relieved that I am not negotiating these scary waters alone!


----------



## Roo67

Glad you have found us jandee - i wouldn't  be where I am today if it wasn't for these boards. They are a great source of support and information.

r xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Jandee, welcome to the group! As Roo says, you will find a wealth of information, advice and support here. Good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## sweet1

Hi,
I've been lurking around this site for quite a while and have decided to jump in!
I'm 34 and seriously considering going down this route as life has led me to a point where the thought of having a baby is taking over all my thought processes!
I have no idea where to start though I am off to the LWC for their 'inseminar' this weekend. i've also read about their eg-sharing program which is quite interesting to me because of my age - they don't consider you after 35!
But honestly, it's all a bit of a minefield at the moment, not least financially, not just the cost of initial treatment but raising the child alone as well! I own my own place but it's only 1 bedroom....it's what I want more than anything though and I know in my heart of hearts I'll move heaven and earth to do it somehow.
Anyway it's nice to finally be here and I can imagine I'll be sticking around for a bit! Unless Mr Right suddenly makes an appearance tomorrow! but then he'd probably be scared off once he realises how desparate I am.....
PS If anyone's got any good advice on where i should even start i'd be very grateful


----------



## lulumead

Hi jess

welcome to our group, I'm sure you're find everyone very supportive.  I'm currently at LWC and find them very lovely...hope you find the inseminar useful.
xx


----------



## bingbong

Hi Jess,

Welcome  

That's great that you are going to LWC, I tried to get on that and it was full, you must have stollen my place   I am also thinking about doing egg share there. 

I think that going and listening to what they say is a great place to start!!! As is being here, so much info available!!!

Good luck,
Bingbong x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Jess, welcome to the group. You will find a wealth of info, advice and support on here. The seminar sounds like a good place to start, hope you find it useful. Good luck with your journey.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## jdm

Hi Jess and everyone - wish I'd known that about the LWC inseminar - could've saved a packet on that first consultation! I just had my first cycle of IUI at LWC, and in retrospect I think I didn't really understand enough about the practical side of what happened before I actually did it - like how many scans and how often you have to go etc. but I liked the place and the staff are mostly friendly although I occasionally got an off hand one - has anyone else had that experience? Anyway, generally all postive so good luck Jess! x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hi Jess welcome from me too.  Hope the inseminar goes well - look forward to hearing all about it.  Bet you'll have lots to think about after that so a good job you found us!

Jandie, glad you found us too.  It can be quite scary so good to have somewhere to come and chat about it.

Lots of luck  x


----------



## angelw

HI EVERYONE!
I am also new to this site tho have been lurking for weeks. I am 30, single and decided last year that i would like to try for a baby on my own. I am sceduled to start IVF treatment at The Bridge Centre, just waiting on final verification on my allocation of donor sperm. However have been having lots of problems with the cryobank dept, losing forms and not doing what they said they would. This has been going on since xmas and what i thot should be a reasonably straight forward part of the process is now turning into a nightmare!!! Everything else (blood tests and hycosy) all completed. This has really put the breaks on and is stopping me from starting my treatment on this cycle. Sori, my introduction has turned into a rant but just feel so frustrated at the mo!!!!!


----------



## indekiwi

Hi AngelW, welcome to the burgeoning crew of singlies who post on these boards!  Shame to hear you've run into some administrative hassle even before starting your treatment - hope this gets sorted out ASAP so that you can transition into baby making efforts.  

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Angelw, welcome to the group! Everyone here is fantastic and offers so much advice and support. Hope that you get things sorted with your donor sperm and can get going as soon as possible. Good luck  

Lou-ann x


----------



## Sima

Hi Angelw

Welcome to the group.  I am sorry to hear that you are having a frustrating time sorting out your sperm at the Bridge.   I had my first IVF at the Bridge and I spoke/emailed Jenny at the cryobank when I was trying to sort out my sperm allocation.  She was very helpful and answered any questions which I had at the time.  I did not end up using Bridge Sperm because for various reasons I decided to import sperm from the US.  I had to liaise with Jenny during the whole importation process and she was once again very helpful.  Are you speaking directly to the Cryobank or are you going through one of the nurses?  PM me if you want Jenny's email address if you do not have it already.  Other than that just stay focused and continue to hassle the clinic for the info you need.  After all you are the client and you are paying a lot of money for this service and so they should provide you with a decent service.  

If you continue to feel frustrated then you could look to move to another clinic which is more user friendly.  You would need to pay for another initial consult but you would not need to repeat any of the tests you have already taken if they were done within the last 12 months.  LWC has lots of available sperm and I believe UCH has available sperm as well.  

I wish you all the best with your journey. I hope you get started soon.  

Best

Sima


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

Angel welcome to the thread, I did 2 cycles at the Bridge and then moved on, I used my friend as my donor sperm, we found similar issues unless you dealt directly with Jenny in the cryolab.

L x


----------



## angelw

Hi everyone, thanks for responding!
I have been on the telephone several times with Jenny already, first of all i filled out donor characteristics form and sent if off the week before chrismas. I contacted J in January and was told they never received it and that i wasn't registered with the clinic even though i had already had my consultation, Hycosy and results review (think they can't understand my Irish accent/Irish name LOL).
J said she would post out the donor selection and that i would receive it within 3 days, i didn't! Contacted her again the following week and was told she would e-mail it to me, still had received nothing after 2 days so rang her back. Received the e-mail 2 days later and posted my selection that night. I rang J again a few days later to make sure everything was OK as there was a deadline for holding donors, she said she never received it but that she would confirm the donor selection and let accounts know as i cannot do anything else until its paid for. I was told accounts would contact me via telephone for payment. Heard nothing the whole day so rang before closing to be told that nothing had come through from the cryodepartment and to wait till i got it in the post. That was last wednesday and i still have not heard anything.     


Now that i'm a little calmer i will post confirmation of the donor selection (registered) again and will make an appt to finalise the IVF plan anyway!!!

I think the NHS is better organised than this and yet i'm paying £1000's!!!!

Goodluck everyone else!!!


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

welcome to the world of the Bridge!!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=32320.0


----------



## sweet1

Hi again,

I've just come back from London and the inseminar at the LWC, which was very useful. They explained a lot about the procedures involved and the tests needed, as well as explaining what certain things were I'd not understood e.g hycosy, I am becoming more familiar with the terminology now. It is also an bit of a recruitment drive as well with big discount on the initial consultation, like you said, so well worth it.

One of the best parts was meeting a couple of other women considering the same thing. Along wit this site, it's great to get to know other women thinking along the same lines, it makes you realise you have support already and you don't have to feel so alone. We went for a coffee and exchanged numbers, etc and will hopefully keep in touch.

So all in all I am feeling very positive at the moment, even though I know that's easy to say as I haven't had any tests yet!!!

And thanks everyone here for my nice welcome.


----------



## winky77

Hi Jess.......glad the LWC seminar went well and great you met others in the same boat......hope you pointed them in our direction!!  

Angel.....welcome to the boards but sorry to hear what a nightmare you're having with the Bridge.....that's not the kind of extra stress you need! 

...Winky


----------



## MistyLake

Hello,

I am just posting my message to say hello and to introduce myself. I am now 16 weeks pregnant, and to have amniocentesis tomorrow. I have been too unwell with nausea and vomiting to post until now. I have enormous sympathy with one of you who had it throughout the pregnancy, I have to say.
I am not going to write more now until I get some responses, as at the moment it feels as if I am writing into a great big void...I am sure you will understand...

Hope to hear from you soon!

R x


----------



## indekiwi

Mistylake, congratulations on your pregnancy!!!        I'm glad you found us, and you will find some more lovely ladies on the bumps and babies thread as well who are at similar stages of pregnancy.  Sorry to hear you're suffering so badly with morning sickness, and I hope that over the next month or so it will lessen / disappear.   

Jess, glad you found some like-minded ladies at the LWC seminar - wish I'd met people in the same boat when I started out a few years back.

A-Mx


----------



## MistyLake

A-M

Thanks for that! It is great to know there are people out there. I am just about to post on that thread, and trying to work out how to put all the symbols etc on my page....

Bye for now. X


----------



## Roo67

Welcome Mistylake and anyone else I have missed  

As indikiwi says you will get loads of support on the bumbs and babes thread - hope to be joining you on there in a couple of weeks  

r x


----------



## MistyLake

Hi Roo67,

A brief glance at your profile shows it to be fairly similar to mine. I shall keep my fingers crossed for you. 

Rx


----------



## lulumead

hello mistylake, welcome to the group.  Hope the MS eases soon!

xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Mistylake, welcome to the group! Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope the Ms eases off soon.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Abernathie

Hi,

I'm new. Little bit about me. Im single, 30 and am going it alone. Have started my journey today with booking in at the doctors to be refered and spoken to some clinics in Birmingham. 
Looking at IUI with donor sperm. And was told today the wait was 6-12 months for the sperm. 
However, in a way this suits me. Have lost 4 stone in the last six months to get a BMI under 35 but would like to be under 30 which would need a further 2 stone to lose.
I'm hoping this is achievable before treatment starts.

Anyway I wish everyone luck on the board.

Sarah x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Sarah, Welcome to the group!  I am also with Birmingham women's and waiting for a follow-up consultation before being referred to their ACU. 

Well done on your weight loss and good luck with your journey.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## indekiwi

Wow Sarah, what a very determined soul you are - 4 stone is a brilliant achievement - many congratulations!   

Welcome to the the Singles board - hope you find lots of encouragement and support here as you undertake your TTC journey.

A-Mx


----------



## bingbong

Hi Sarah,
Welcome!!!   As others have said your weight loss is amazing!!! How did you do it? Good luck loosing the rest of it! 

Good luck with your journey ttc!

Bingbong


----------



## lulumead

hello sarah, welcome to the group and well done on weight loss..hope the last bit drops off before your treatment starts.
xxx


----------



## Elpida

HI Sarah

I'm in Birmingham too and am about to start IVF at the Priory.  

Do come along on Saturday if you're free.

E


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Sarah and welcome to the madness - well done on your weight loss - that's amazing - what's your secret  
All the best with finding a clinic.
Take care mini x x


----------



## Abernathie

Thanks for the really warm welcome all 

I lost the 4 stone with WW. Second time I have done it. Didnt go to meetings as they are quite expensive so did it all at home. 
I think once you set you mind to something its acheivable  

Looking at the Midland Fertility Clinic. They where really nice on the phone yesterday. Anyone used them and would you recommend them?

I'm really excited about this but don't know how an earth im going to last the possible 6-12 months for my first try. 

I'd love to meet Saturday but im working nights at the mo so will be sleeping.

Hopefully next time I can come.

Good luck ladies 

SARAH X


----------



## wizard

I justed posted this on the 'calling all single women' thread but then realised I should really posts it here...  

Hello everyone    I just wanted to introduce myself, I posted on the 2ww thread in this board but not much else so I send you all a wave as I might be on here a bit more now I've discovered what fantastic women you all are with journeys and experience to share.

I'm 38, obviously single and using donor spern from Denmark.  I've done 4 IUIs with 1 early miscarriage, and think I'm about to make the leap to IVF. 

Just out of interest, how many of you spot before your period comes?  I'm talking pre TTC here, so just when you had ordinary bleeds before all the drugs....  My luteal phase is 13-16 days but I always spot a good 3/4 days before.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Wizard,

Officially welcome...and sorry to hear about your recent BFN...

I've never spotted before my AF, either before or after tx - just to start the poll....

I usually get bad tempered and sad, with chocolate cravings a day or two before, then a bit of mild tummy/back ache usually starts in the morning, and by lunchtime I've got full flow....always been that way!

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Wizard, I'm similar to you, spotting several days in advance.  Most tedious!  

A-Mx


----------



## SCRC

Hello,

I'm a bit new to all this and hope someone out there can give me a bit of advice. How does a single woman in her late 30's go about having a baby (or 2... )? I have been trying to read up about it on the net and books but feel a bit confused and not really sure what to do - where to go - who to talk to.

Looking forward to some answers.....


----------



## Sima

Hello SCRC and welcome to the boards.  It can be a bit of of a minefield out there but you have come to the right place for help and advice. Have you read Single Mothers by Choice by Jane Mattes or Choosing Single Motherhood by Mikki Morrissette. I found both books to be good starting points. Mikki Morrissette also has a website for ChoiceMoms http://www.choicemoms.org/ which will also give you some good info.

I guess for most of us on these boards once we had decided that we were happy to become a single mum the first we did was to go and find a clinic which would be happy to treat us as single woman. If you let us know where you are based then we can let you know of which clinics we have found to be single women friendly in your area. Many ladies use the London Women Clinic or the Bridge in London but there are other clinics based around the country which you could use. You might want to base your choice of clinic on locatation or availability of sperm since I know many clinics have waiting lists for sperm though you may be able to import sperm if you wish. You can find out more details of clinics on the HFEA website.

You will need to book an initial appointment at the clinic and they will run through the process with you and they will advise you to take certain blood tests and scans which will basically tell you how fertile you are and will assist them in deciding whether to recommend you go for IUI or IVF. Clinics general need a blood test on day 2 or 3 of your cycle to measure LH, oestradiol and FSH. They might also check for rubella, HIV, and Hepatitis B&C but each clinic. You could save a bit of time and go straight to your GP for some of the blood tests so you would then have the results to hand when you go for your initial appointment at the clinic. Actually some clinics need a GP referral letter so you may wish to speak to your GP first. I went with the Bridge and they did not need a GP referral.

I think this should be enough info to get you started. Feel free to ask any other questions.

Sima

/links


----------



## Lillyan

Hi all,
I'm new too! Long road to get here....I miscarried my one and only ever pregnancy 2 years ago (Feb 07), and subsequently broke up with my partner. After that I started considering going it alone but kept hoping I'd meet someone. That didn't happen and I finally made an appt in Apr 08 to discuss DI IUI/IVF with my local clinic (I'm based in Dublin) but I have a long history of severe endometriosis and while I was waiting for the appt, I was diagnosed with a large endometrioma and had to cancel. I had surgery in June 08 and waited a while for my cycle to normalise. I remade the appt for Jan 09 and went to the clinic a couple of weeks ago to discuss options. They sent me for the usual bloods and on Friday last they called to say my day 3 FSH was 17.6. They've advised me to have it retested on my next Day 3 (9th Mar) and will reconsider my case then. I know that FSH levels can fluctuate but 17.6 is bad news, no matter what way you look at it. 

I'm sorry that my first post to the board is so miserable! I've been reading through lots of the posts here and there is so much support for people going through heartbreaking situations, and so many positive stories too. I hope I can offer some support to girls who are finding things tough - I can offer lots of advice re endo & multiple surgeries (laps / cycstectomies etc). As for my situation, I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone re the high FSH and what to expect.....Has anyone here had success with IUI/IVF with a high FSH? The clinic have said they would "prefer" it to be <12 but I don't know if that means they won't treat me. All I know is the response to ovulation drugs in very low above 15 so I don't know where that leaves me. I would appreciate advice so much. 

Thanks
Starryeyes


----------



## MistyLake

Hi Starry,

Well let me be your beacon of hope!!! I had terrible blood results too. I have managed to conceive and am now 16 weeks pregnant! My FSH was at least 18 when I conceived, and it was fairly stable. I tried DI x7, one cycle of which was medicated, and succeeded on my 8th attempt by having sex with some body. I am 40. My AMH was 3.5. I also had endometriosis. So try not to be too down hearted, and perhaps consider the possibility that may be it will work with 'real' (ie unwashed, frozen, thawed, and sexually bipassed) semen. A damn sight cheaper too!

R x


----------



## Lillyan

Thanks Misty and congratulations on your pregnancy - fantastic news! That gives me so much hope. I am definitely keeping all my options open re method of conception, but when I heard it was >17 I thought it would be impossible to conceive without help but obviously not! Great news for you. Thanks again...


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Starry Eyes - you seem to have had a tough time getting here... I cant offer much on the FSH levels but hopefully someone who can will be along soon...  

I had my monitoring done at Clane when I was at LWC and then for Reprofit in Czech Republic ...  

I'm sure you'll find a lot of support on here ... 

Take care
Maya


----------



## Lou-Ann

SCRC and Starryeyes, welcome to the group  . You will find a wealth of info, advice and support here. Good luck with your journeys  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

hello SCRS and starryeyes.
xx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi SCRC and StarryEyes, good look with your respective journeys!   The ladies on the singles board are very knowledgable and supportive so I hope you find it as helpful as I have.  

A-Mx


----------



## Maya7

Welcome SCRC - sorry I didnt see your post earlier..

Maya


----------



## Felix42

Welcome SCRC and StarryEyes! Look forward to getting to know you on here and wishing you lots of luck. 

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## Sima

Hi StaryEyes and welcome to the board.

Sorry to hear you have had a hard time to get this far. It is a struggle and you will need real determination to keep on going but I am sure it will be worth it in the end. Not many clinics treat women with High FSH and so you will need to find a clinic which will be happy to treat you. High FSH does not mean you will not respond to drugs but it does mean that you are likely to be a poor responder and so there is a high chance that your IVF cycle can be cancelled. It certainly is not impossible to conceive as MistyLake has proved and it is stories like hers which keeps me going.

If you do struggle to find a clinic in Dublin which will treat you then you could consider The Lister in London which is high FSH friendly and they do not have an upper cut off limit. Their success rate is pretty good too. Also have a look at the Poor Responders thread since they can give you some tips on tx with high FSH.

You can also find some more info on high FSH on this website...http://www.highfshinfo.com/

I wish you all the best with your journey. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Sima

/links


----------



## some1

Wow - loads of new people - welcome to our gang Angel, SCRC, Wizard MistyLake, Jess and Starryetes -hope I haven't missed anyone!

Some1

xx


----------



## SCRC

Wow....Thank you all so much for your welcome messages and Sima - thank you for your advice about how to get started. I'm really clueless about all this but find it amazing and so encouraging that there are so many wonderful women out there who are going through a similar journey. I've read Jane Mattes book - single women by choice which I found amazing and really informative. Every time a question popped into my head - she answered it on the next page!

I'm sure I'll be asking more questions soon - in fact here's a first one. Are there any clinics in the Canbridge area that anyone can recommend for single women?

Thanks again

x


----------



## laurainhk

Hi girls!

I am still very confused about my options...6 months ago an ex-bf had agreed to become my donor, but recently, after meeting someone, he backed off.

My FSH is still within an acceptable range, 
and i am still ovulating every month. 

I am thinking of going to Reprofit and try once with my own eggs and unknown donor sperm, before moving on to embryo adoption.

Now, i have so many doubts and fears. I cannot tell my family about this decision, because i know they will not be supportive...they are very conservative, and would just put too much pressure on me. My sister is a single parent, and they are still giving her a hard time after 6 years!
Some friends are supportive, but most aren't. They think i shouldn't deprive a child of the right to know who his/her father is, and i understand their concern, that's why i have waited so long before coming to the decision to go solo.
My desire to have a child is growing stronger and stronger, and i can't deny it anymore. It is really driving me crazy...and whenever i see a baby i am drawn to it as if it were mine 

I would like to hear from women who have gone or are going to Reprofit alone. What problems did you encounter? Or expect to encounter?

How do you cope with the anxiety of making such an important decision without the support of your family?

Still very emotional and confused.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Laura,

Sorry to hear this is so hard for you. I have been incredibly fortunate in that everyone I have told has been hugely supportive - my family (mother and 2 sisters) in particular have given me their full backing. And all my friends understand how important this is to me and have all been brilliant. The one or two people I suspect would be less positive, I have simply not told.

Having said that, I made the decision myself before I told anyone - I spent several months thinking it through, reading all the material I could get my hands on. I also wrote myself a list of questions (kind of imagined what questions people would ask me when I told them) and then wrote out my answers - I found that incredibly helpful. And once I'd decided to go ahead I also decided that from that point on I would not listen to/allow negativity to affect me. There are plenty of people out there who believe fertility tx is wrong, single parents are wrong, donor sperm is wrong, having children is a privilege not a right etc etc. They are entitled to their opinion, but I do not share those opinions and I refuse to let them bring me down. 
I firmly believe that you only have one life and you need to do what is right for you. Maybe easy for me to say because I have the support of friends and family now, but I would be doing this even if I didn't. I don't want to look back and be filled with regret that I didn't try for a family.

As for the comments about children with no father - well again of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And yes, ideally children would have 2 loving parents, but these days this happens less and less often. And there is no guarantee that if you have a child within marriage/a relationship, that it will stay that way. My own father died when I was a teenager (and my sisters just 9 and 10) - and the divorce rates are now so high that many children grow up in single parent families. I think what makes us different is that we are going into this with our eyes fully open. We have researched everything and spent many hours contemplating what would be best for the child. I firmly believe this makes us in many ways better parents - because we've thought so hard about it, and because the child is so very very wanted.
And just because you are not in a relationship does not mean your child will have no male influences in their life - it's just that these will come from elsewhere - male friends, brother/brother in law, grandfather etc etc

I have recently had IVF with donor sperm at Reprofit and I did not encounter any issues \at allbeing single. I've had 3 cycles in the UK too, and no problems there either. 

What I would say is that if you have not had IVF at all before, it can be a little daunting going overseas where the doctors and clinic staff do not speak English as a native language so communication can be more of a challenge. But on the upside there are plenty of us here who can help with interpreting treatment plans etc. 
Reprofit is a great clinic - I have no complaints at all and would whole heartedly recommend them. Feel free to post or PM me if you have specific questions

I hope this has helped and wish you much luck in the decision making process....and although you may not have family and friends to support, remember that you have this amazing community of single women here who will back you all the way
I see that you are in HK so it's harder for us to support you in person (we have regular get togethers here in the UK) but we are certainly here in cyberspace  

Also a quick hello to the other newbies - welcome and do jump in and post on the other threads to get to know us all better,
Suitcase
x


----------



## Roo67

Laura -I would second what the others have said and if it is something that is so improtant to you and have thought long and hard about it I would do it. I'm sure that people will surprise you and even those who don't approve will turn those thought around when they see how committed you are to this journey.

I am lucky too that I have not encountered any negativity from anyone - mum, dad, sister brother, friends and even work colleagues (oh except my 17yr old neice thinks its all a bit gross  )

I too have been to reprofit - I had 8 IUI's in the UK before moving onto donor embryo's at Reprofit. I have had no problems at the clinic, the only problems I have had have been the after care and you do sometimes feel that you are on your own when things go wrong. You are not able to just pick up the phone to speak to a nurse or go and see if you are worried ect.

without the love and support from all the girlson here I wouldn't be where i am today so feel free to jump in anywhere to get to know us all 

 to all the other newbies

R x


----------



## laurainhk

Thanks for your support. It means a lot to know that there are other women dealing with similar issues, and so ready to help.
It took me a long time to finally make up my mind...after getting in and out of relationships that were going nowhere, and dealing with some work-related issues (i am self-employed) i am ready to chase my dream.
My sister is doing a fantastic job as a single mum, and she showed me that a child can be very happy and well-adjusted even without a father. The problem is that i live in Hong Kong, she lives in Europe and we only see each other only once a year. 
I thought about the fact that my child would not enjoy the presence of a little cousin, grandparents, and relatives.
Here I have a good social network, including couples with kids, a stable source of income, and can afford a nanny in the future, if i find it too difficult to juggle work and motherhood.

I have a question for those who used a sperm donor in Brno. I understand that the donor is anonymous and therefore even when the child turns 18 finding the father is not an option. Can they match you with a donor who shares some family resemblance, in terms of eye and hair colour? I look Eastern European, and this is one if the reasons why i chose Reprofit over clinics in Spain or Greece. A child who looks too Mediterranean would feel a bit different from the other family members.


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Laura, I'm not at reprofit, but wanted to welcome to the group and wish you luck on your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Laura,

You can specify hair and eye colour for the sperm donor, that's about it I think. You usually get a choice of two, and they'll give you this basic info plus height. 

If you want more control over your donor choice, then you can look into importing sperm from one of the big sperm banks. There is no guarantee that using this route will enable the child to find the donor when they turn 18 if they want to (because in Czech all donors are anon, Reprofit will not confirm to the sperm bank that you have had a child and therefore the sperm bank will possibly not disclose information to the child - but this is all untested - we don't know what will happen in 18 yrs time if the child can prove they came from a specific donor etc)

However, aside from that tricky aspect, what you do get with the sperm banks is much more info about the donor, so you can make choices on more than very basic physical characteristics. You can even get audio recordings of them talking, and often pictures of them as children as well as full profiles and info about their parents/grandparents etc too

Of course there are costs involved - approx €300 per vial of sperm and another €300 for shipping

Have a look at European Sperm Bank or Xytex (you'll find them via Google) if this is a route you are interested in (I used ESB and the process itself was very straightforward..)

Suitcase
x


----------



## semma

Hi everyone
Was lovely to catch up on all the messages and replies, hope you don't mind me asking for some support and advice.
I have suffered from chronic back pain for over a yr now, had one failed ivf in oct where all 10 eggs were immature.  Had my mri scan and results last week showing arthritis and narrowing in lower back causing pressure on nerves hence the pain.  Treatment is one lot of inj (waiting list about 3 mths) if no improvement a different type of inj, and last resort surgery. I have had conflicting advice from dr. One said if I can bear back pain then to have ivf first, other said to do injections 1st.
My dilemma is that my back pain has taken it out of me physically, mentally and emotionally and I am worried that if I do ivf now, I am not giving myself the best chance.  The pain has subsided this past week for the 1st time in about 4 mths and although ts early days, I am desperate to continue my journey to motherhood.  My heart is saying go for it now, my head is saying am I physically and mentally ready to do ivf since I am suffering bouts of anxiety, low mood and negativity prob due to being in pain for so long and the drastic change in my life because of the pain.  I know I haven't got age on my side, but if I wait for the injectons, I could be 6 mths down the line and no better physically yet I've wasted 6 mths when I could be doing ivf.  I know its my decision, but I would really appreciate anyones advice and how do you know if yr mentally ready for ivf?
Thank you so much for letting me off load once again
E


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Semma,

Sorry to hear you are still in so much pain with your back... 

I'm not sure that you are ever mentally ready for IVF   
Of course I can't speak for everyone, but I know from all our posts over the past year or so, that even those of us who are 100% sure this is the right path for us when we start the process, still have a bit of a wobble at times, especially when on all sorts of hormones and drugs and juggling clinic appts with work and all the rest of it....

Only you (and your doctors) know whether physically you are up to this. If you are, then I would say go for it. The mental/emotional side of it is going to be up and down anyway and there's probably never going to be a good time. If you leave it, you'll be increasingly stressed about having left it, if you go ahead, you'll worry about whether it's the right time or not. Strikes me that you can't really win so as long as the docs are Ok with it from a physical perspective then why not - at least you will have tried and won't be full of regret in 6 months time

Hope this helps and good luck whatever your decision,
Suitcase
x



The anxiety, low moods and negativity are quite common along this fertility journey, so don't be too hard on yourself about that...


----------



## semma

Thanks suitcase
Is there absolutely anything you can suggest to help build me up emotionally for this.  I have no doubt whatsoever that ivf is the way forward, but am still really struggling with the results of my last ivf attempt and of course the continuing pain I have been in has knocked me to pot in every sense of the word.  I don't feel I am in a particularly good place emotionally, and back pain has only subsided in the past week so its still early days.
Thank you so much for yr swift reply.
E


----------



## suitcase of dreams

hmm, Semma, that's a tricky one, different things work for different people when it comes to feeling mentally stronger

I can tell you what helps me - it's all pretty obvious by the book sort of stuff really: 
- regular exercise (mostly just walking, I'm not really one for the gym and I like to be outdoors when possible)
- healthy eating (my usual tendency is to lapse into bad eating when I feel down, and all that does is make it worse, so have to be very strict with myself)
- no alcohol (some people find it relaxing, I find it mostly depressing)
- plenty of sleep
- plenty of 'letting it all out' on here....I do talk to my friends/family in the 'real world' too, but it's not the same as having an outlet where everyone understands exactly what you're going through and knows so much better how to respond 
- spending time with friends and family (have to force myself because natural tendency when low is to stay home and become a bit of a recluse, but if I do get out I feel so much better)

And most of all, be kind to yourself, don't put too much pressure on yourself, just take each day as it comes and don't worry if some days you're not as positive and 'on top of things' as you feel you want to be

Several of the girlies here swear by counselling, reiki, acupuncture etc. I've dabbled in these, but none of them have really done the trick for me. Although I do find 'pampering' in the sense of massage, manicure/pedicure etc helps me feel better in myself....wish it wasn't so expensive here or I'd be doing it every week  

can't think of anything else right now, but I'm sure someone else will be along with some good ideas soon
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Semma, have been thinking about you hun and so pleased to read you've had some respite from the pain this past week.  

I agree with everything Suitcase has already said.  I guess that at one extreme, if neither set of injections works for you and you then go on to have surgery, you're not going to be delaying by six months but potentially a lot longer.  Depending on your age, that can make a material difference to your ability to conceive, at least using your own eggs.  On the other hand, dealing with pregnancy and a back problem that debilitates you so much is likely no picnic either.  From my perspective (and not having been in the dreadful pain that you have endured over the past several months so forgive me if the following appears flippant or naive), if you were pregnant and suffered a repeat of your back problems, I wonder if the fact that you were going to be a mum would help you to persevere through the potential pain because you had something hugely important to fight for?  Also, are the injections definitely ruled out once you are pregnant?

As for building up emotional strength, I guess a lot of it is confidence that you are following the path that is right for you.  You have tried a number of times in the past to fall pregnant, and over a few years, so becoming a mum is clearly something you feel really strongly about.  Hopefully, you will have many weeks of less / no pain in front of you, and this might help you to gather strength to try again.  

Sorry if this is not the most helpful of posts!  But whatever you decide to do, I'm so glad to read of your recovery, even if it is an interlude, since it gives you space to breathe and dream again.

A-Mx


----------



## semma

Thank you so much to you both for yr kind, helpful and positive responses.  You are both so right in what you've said.  It took so much strength to even log back into this site again but I'm so glad I have, just with yr two kind replies.
I have just e mailed my fertility consultant to say I'm ready to begin treatment again, god I am in floods of tears.........again (thats all I ever seem to do these days), I should be over joyed that my back pain has subsided for now, but I'm just so anxious that its going to come back and knock me for 6 again.  My family and friends will probably go mad that I'm not waiting till after the injections, but my worry is I could be delaying my chances of motherhood and be no further forward with my back problem.  I knew this journey was never gong to be easy, but nothing quite prepared me for the roller coaster and upset I've felt these past few months.
Maybe now I've made a decision, I can turn a corner, as don't think I could get much lower.  Its hard to believe I'm actually a nurse and counsellor and yet in a desperate state myself.
Thank you for thinking of me, am I still on the right thread for the support I'm going to need so much over the next few months?
Exx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Semma,

They always say doctors/nurses make hopeless patients - I guess the same is true of counsellors. Besides it's always easier to give advice than take it, and easier to see other people's situations more objectively than your own  

Feel free to post on here, or come and join the IVF thread, or set up your own support thread if you want to - I've had a couple of those running over the past year or so and found it very helpful - more of a blog than a thread in a way, but it's good to have the outlet....

Just jump in and post wherever feels right - we're all here for you  
Suitcase
x


----------



## semma

thanks suitcase
Sorry to hear of yr bfn.  Have everything crossed for you in April/May.
Feel bit more positive just by being back in touch
E


----------



## laurainhk

Semma, 
you are so brave. Back pain is horrible, it makes you inactive, and the less you exercise the worse your mood. I hope you will soon feel good enough to try some gentle yoga and swimming. I suffer from lower back pain at least once a year, and it's very depressing because i am usually a very active person, someone who needs to exercise daily in order to feel well. 
I have benefitted a lot from doing Iyengar yoga, starting very gently with poses that are safe for the back.
A combination of breathing exercises and flowing movements such as Qi gong is also very useful to manage pain. But you need a teacher to get the maximum benefit.

We all wish to be in top form during our fertility treatments, but the truth is that very few are.
We are all on an emotional roller coaster, and often suffer from physical problems as well.

I came down with flu twice in three months, and it made me feel so frail i often wondered how i would cope if i had a baby to look after. Then i spoke to a friend who has twins and she said her immune system got a boost from the pregnancy and she didn't even catch a cold while she was breast feeding.

It might help to take a break, and focus on your well-being before embarking on a new cycle. But only you can tell. Whatever you choose to do, i wish you the best of luck.


----------



## Felix42

Hello all and welcome, you have certainly come to the right place. There's so much friendship and support here. I personally don't know what I'd do without my Fertility Friends 

So we can get an idea of the variety of where we are all at and see how many of us are sharing the same journey just now, I've set up a poll which you can find here:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=178774.0

Hope you get a chance to check it out and vote!

Love and hugs, Felix xx


----------



## sunnygirl1

Hello everyone,

I have been lurking here for a while and would love to join the single women thread, you all sound so friendly.

I am about to start treatment shortly, having had a shock with my hormone levels last year.  Until then, I hadn't really thought about my fertility and thought that I would meet the man of my dreams, fall in love and live happily ever after with my perfect 2.2 children.... Isn't it amazing where life takes you?!

I have been taking herbs and lots of acupuncture over the last few months and my fsh has halved to 12 - I'm not sure how bad is this still?  Any advice would be welcomed.

Sunny xx


----------



## lulumead

Hello Sunny

Welcome to our lovely group...think we can all empathise with the things not turning out as we expected!  

Herbs seem to be working well...I'm not really sure about FSH, I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will help you out but I think somewhere around 10 is what lots of clinics want in order to treat you.

Good luck with your treatment, when do you start?

xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Sunny,

Welcome to the gang!

Re FSH, many clinics do prefer this to be under 10, but that's not true of all clinics and remember FSH is only one indicator - it suggests you may not respond so well to stimms and might need higher doses/produce lower eggs
If your clinic is OK with your levels, it's a case of giving it a go really and seeing how you respond

Wishing you the very best of luck with your tx
Suitcase
x


----------



## sunnygirl1

Thanks ladies for your welcome

I guess I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed -  I start with the pill the week after next, but I have now done the donor selection and shopping around for drugs.  It is amazing how the prices vary so much.

Sunny xx


----------



## Roo67

Hi Sunny and welcome.

Wishing you lots of luck for this first cycle. 

As the others have said we all wish for that perfect little family - and hopefully one day we will, just in a different order.

R x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Sunny - welcome to the singlies thread.
All the best for your treatment 
Take care minix


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Sunny ... 

There is a lot of support available here if you need it.  What clinic are you attending?

You can have a look at the other single threads to get an idea of the range of issues that come up - and feel free to post any questions of your own.

Take care
Maya


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Sunny, welcome to the roller coaster club on the singles boards - good luck with your journey in becoming a mummy!    

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Sunny, welcome to the group  . Good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## calypso

Hello everyone

I've posted on the donor eggs forum but I'm still not sure where i fit in !

Basically I'm single and am looking to donate my eggs this cycle then looking to have my eggs frozen on the next cycle all being well
I split with my ex after nearly 10 years and a M/C and never for 1 min thought I'd be single and childless at nearly 36!

I 'm taking the plunge and going down the egg freezing route as an alternative to jumping on the nearest  male in an attempt to abate my biological fire alarm, sorry clock    Its not what i planned but what can you do? The more I weigh up the options the bigger my headache gets    To complicate things I had all my bloods done and had really healthy results FSH E2 LH were considered excellent , i then have my day 6 Antral follicle count done and it was rubbish Like 10 or something max So i really have no idea where i'm at in terms of time left etc

Anyway things are moving fast now, I've been accepted to donate altruistically all eggs this cycle ( so can' be that bad huh? ) I've got a recipient waiting , I have my injection training on Thurs ( god help me ...) start d/r 20th with EC pencilled in for week commencing 14th April  

Anyway thats my intro sorry its so long. 

You seem like a great bunch and still not sure whether this is the right section for me or not but i thought I'd show my face say hello   and wish you all the very best

Calypso
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Calypso,

Welcome to the singles boards!  As someone waiting to receive eggs from an altruistic donor (next week) I can't tell you what a priceles gift you are making to some very fortunate individual.     Good luck with the injections - once you've done it a couple of times it will start to feel like old hat!

May I ask what you've been told about success rates with thawing frozen eggs (rather than embryos)?  Egg vitrification in this country is still a very new process and relatively few clinics (to my knowledge) have the ability or experience to do this.  There was a discussion around this subject about a month ago on one of the single women threads - hopefully one of the other regular contributors will be along in a wee while who remembers which thread and when!  

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Calypso, welcome to the group  . Good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Calypso,
Welcome to the madness of us singlies....
I must say that personally I'm truly in awe of women like yourself who are able and willing to donate their eggs.  I'm just about to embark on DEIVF and thank women like you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to fulfill my dream to become a mum.
Take care mini x x


----------



## calypso

Thank you for the welcome

I'm not exactly sure about the stats re: successful thawing

As you say its still a very new process As you probably know there have been a few articles in the media about more women doing this , which is what drew my attention to it as a possible option When I contacted a local clinic , luckily , they were able to offer the service, and I took it from there. Can't find any links just now but remember some recent article ( last 2 months? ) with latest research suggesting frozen eggs now virtually same success rate as fresh.

Its been really tricky because trying to do my own research didn't really bring up much answers . Although there were quite a few daily mail type articles  slagging "selfish" women like me for doing it. Suggesting we are trying to have our cake and eat it  Which I personally found really frustrating as its not that I'm choosing to try to have it all, simply that my circumstances radically changed and I'm genuinely trying to do the right thing i.e hope to find a life partner to raise a child with if possible, rather than jump on the nearest male and get pregnant and probably not stay with the dad. Without going into too much detail I've had a tough time recently and although would happily have a baby tomorrow it does take two!! Although to be fair my circumstances now aren't exactly ideal now either ( house, job etc ) But I'm certainly not putting it off through choice I want to start a family now so much but I'm actually trying to be sensible and I'm sure you ladies will agree that putting myself onto this whole treatment rolercoaster ( twice! ) can hardly be described as taking the easy option!

The biggest frustration for me so far is that the same media seem to love writing the horror stories on declining female fertility rates and how its like jumping off a cliff after age 35 etc etc then vilify women like myself for trying to do something constructive about the facts. I dare say these are the same people that want to string up "selfish single mums" and bang on about kids needing the traditional family unit or they turn out feral hoodies and its all our fault!!!  You just can't win what ever you do can you? 

Anyway I'm sorry this is so long I'm going to try to read some more of this thread so i can get to know more about you all and your own journeys Hope you've all had a good day and i send you all my love and best wishes

Just modified this to add an apology for ranting on  I just read this back and hadn't realised I'd gone on so much Sorry!  God help me when i start on the hormones eh?


Calypso
x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hi Calypso, Just wanted to say welcome  

Good luck with your journey, and no, this is far from the easy option, I do not know where they get that idea from, obviously not talking to people going through it!  I am quite sure the majority would rather have taken the traditional route!  I'd love to have a bit of a rant about the media but must get ready to go out  

Take care,
Jovi x


----------



## lulumead

HI Calypso,
welcome to our group.
xx


----------



## Candee

Hi Calypso,
I just want to echo what Minnie said - I too am embarking on the donor egg route and I just can't thank
women who donate their eggs enough, because its an amazing thing to do. Re: the Daily Mail and being selfish - 
what rubbish - I dearly wish I had some healthy eggs on ice! I think you are doing the right thing both for you
and for your eventual recipients, whose life you will enrich beyond measure... more power to your elbow and who cares
about the Daily Mail! 

Welcome to the forum and lots of luck to you! 
Candee


----------



## winky77

Hello and Belated Welcomes to Calypso and Sunny !!  Just realised I've not read this thread for a few weeks !  I wish you both well with your different journeys and look forward to getting to know you on the other threads too! 

..Winky


----------



## Not-where-I-wanna-B

Hi ladies,

new to this forum and thread, I just wanted to say hello after weeks of lurking around. Amidst of dissolution of my 5 year long relationship (because he doesn't want children) I'm coping with things that leave me emotionally wrecked by searching for a solution for my wishing to be a mom. Being almost 36, I don't see much possibilities of finally meeting Mr. Right, that's why I'm here. Not that you are not a nice bunch, but it is a place where I thought I'd never need to be (hence my nick-name).

Although I have already started making plans, taking hormone tests, contacting Reprofit, gathering as much information as I possibly can digest, I gave myself another couple of months for soul searching, although I think that the thought of always regretting mistakes one didn't make I think I know I am gonna go through this. Today I just got my FSH, LH, E2 and prolactin results - they are obviously more than one could hope for. Like a good sign from above...

I'll be around - it means so much to be a click away from ladies like you, here on this board, are. Just you being there makes it all so much easier. Thank you.


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the group 'Not Where I Wanna B' . Well done on getting started and good luck with your journey.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Sima

Hello Not Where I wanna Be (NWIWB)  and welcome to the group.  I really do understand where you are coming from but well done on being proactive and not just sitting back and waiting for fate.  You have obviously gained a lot of information already but do feel free to jump in where ever should you have any questions or just want to rant a bit.

Sima x


----------



## lulumead

Hi there NWIWB!

Totally understand where you are coming from, I ended up here after break-up of relationship, just before I was 36...because he wasn't ready to have more children (he had one already from previous relationship). Its hard to get your head around this at times but the ladies on here are fantastic and a real inspiration, and whilst I think we all imagine it would be different this is just another way of creating a family and whose to say Mr Right might just turn up once our babies have arrived.  I feel that pursuing this will take the pressure of trying to meet someone who needs to be ready to have babies straight away and then making the wrong choice because of that.

You are being very positive and proactive, best of luck with your journey. Look forward to hearing more  

xx


----------



## laurainhk

Hi NWIWB,
it's not easy to sail solo through the choppy waters of fertility treatment, most of us didn't have a choice.
When your desire to have children is not shared by your partner, you either repress it (and the emotional cost is very high) or embark on this quest alone. Often friends don't understand, families are not supportive enough, and that's when the friends you make on this board become so important.

Like you i lurked for a while before taking the plunge. After joining FF some of my fears and doubts were dispelled, i realised that there a lot of women in a similar predicament. Sharing information, giving and receiving support is vital in order to keep our sanity. 

You are still young compared to me, I wish i had made the decision to try IVf when i was 36, after my divorce.

Instead i wasted nearly 10 years deluding myself that i would eventually find the right partner.
I had younger partners who were not ready, older partners who were not ready, partners who said they were ready but then got cold feet, and am now in a relationship with someone who said "I don't want children, but understand that time is running out for you. So, go for it alone. I love you and will not love you less if you had a child". Only time can tell if his love will endure a pregnancy and a crying baby. But at least he didn't oppose the idea!

I have a blood test tomorrow, to find out if my FSH is still low. I am keeping my fingers crossed, because i have already booked a flight to the Czech Republic, and been matched with a sperm donor at Reprofit. In case IVF with my own eggs doesn't work, I will try with donor eggs, but there is no turning back. I know that i can't realise my dream of having a child by sitting and waiting for a miracle. That approach didn't work. So now I'll do whatever it takes. It's emotionally and financially  difficult to go for it alone, but for some of us it's the only way.

Good luck, and keep posting.
PS. When are planning to go to Reprofit?


----------



## indekiwi

Laura - lovely post! Looking forward to hearing about your journey to Reprofit - good luck!!  

NWIWB - welcome!  Laura has said it all.  

A-Mx


----------



## Maya7

Welcome NWIWB ... good luck moving ahead..

Laura - hope things go well for you in Brno - I'm sure you have linked into the Reprofit thread for info and support too?

Take care
Maya


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hello and welcome to NWIWB and Laura.... haven't been on here a while so hope I've not missed anyone...
Take care mini x x x


----------



## flying solo

hi all
just though i would introduce myself as ive ben a lurker lol
im just starting my first egg share cycle and im flying solo lol i have been divorced for a year now (got married at 16 far to young lol)
everything is in place to start, im just waiting for my cf test to come back then things will start moving .i thought i would hit a lot of brick walls because of my age (im 26) but my clinc have been fantastic and my age hasnt been a issue at all .
the only thing im really struggling with is what to put on the **** form that any child born from my donation can  read at 18 ,its so hard i keep trying to think what i would like to know but my mind is blank but hey ho i guess something will come to me . well thats me in a nutshell i will leave it there or i will start waffling lol
kellie.


----------



## Damelottie

Hello Kelli   

I'm glad you have posted. GREAT news on the beginning of your journey. Oh how I wish I'd started in my 20's   

Good luck!!

LL xxx


----------



## Sima

Hi Kellie

Welcome to the gang.  Glad to hear you have started your journey already.  Sorry I can't help you on the egg share/ donor message question but you might get some replies if you post the question in the IVF thread since of the ladies on that thread have done egg share.  There is also a separate egg share thread on FF where you might get some useful hints.

All the best

Sima


----------



## indekiwi

Kellie, good luck with your treatment, and welcome!  

A-Mx


----------



## Not-where-I-wanna-B

Ladies, you simply rule! Thanks for your warm welcome. As I'm trying to adjust to the thought of a long journey with a lot of waiting and being patient, I'll be around, keep fingers crossed for your good luck and keep you posted about my adventures.

Best to you all,
NWIWTB


----------



## Lou-Ann

Kellie, welcome to the group and good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Damelottie

Lou-Ann - are you on ********?


----------



## flying solo

thanks so much for the warm welcome . im sure you will regret it as i can be full of questions lol
i wish ou all the best in your treatments
kellie


----------



## Betty-Boo

kellie - hello and welcome.
A big thank you too - as women like you are truly amazing by helping those like me who's fertility has rapidly declined therefore requiring the use of DE. Thank you.
All the best with your journey.. sorry to read it didn't work out with your ex.
take care mini x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Kellie welcome to the mad house    Glad you found us, now you've started you'll have lots of questions    

Wishing you lots of luck  
Jovi x


----------



## Lou-Ann

LL, yes I am on ********, do I not have you as a friend?? Will check  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## mazlouise

Hi girls,

I was well chuffed to discover a section for us single ladies, so thought I'd say hello!

I'm 34, and single. I have never been lucky enough to meet my 'knight in shining armour', and although I would love to be happily married and tending to my vast brood of children by now, life has not turned out that way. However, I am very aware of my biological clock ticking away, and so have made the decision to start a family on my own. If Mr Right comes along afterwards, then so be it, but for now, my priority is having a child. I NEVER want to get to the point in life where I've left it too late, just because I've never met the right guy, and who knows, maybe I never will.....I can't take that chance. My only regret in life would be not having children, so, with the support of my wonderful family, friends, and work colleagues, who I've threatended with babysitting duties, I'm 'going it alone'!

I've had to go to London to find a sperm bank, and already had 3 unsuccessful IUI attempts. I have no obvious infertility problems, all tests so far having been 'normal'. However, at the start of my first IUI I was extremely positive and optimistic, that within 3 tries, I would definitely be pg! Now, I'm more realistic, and actually scared that even IVF won't work, which was my back-up plan for the IUI's......!

So, I'm at the start of my cycle, and excited to be on the road.....good luck to those having EC soon.....

Mazlouise xx


----------



## indekiwi

MazLouise, welcome to the singles boards!  So sorry to read about your 3 negatives from IUIs and that they have left you a little fearful - I got pregnant with number 4 (though have changed approach in order to conceive a sibling for my wee man) - so I hope that whatever way you choose, it will be lucky no. 4 for you too!    Good luck!

A-Mx


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Mazlouise  

I also had three not successful IUIs with LWC and just before moving on to IVF there, I found FF... I changed course and as I was already travelling for tx in london (from Ireland), I explored Reprofit in Czech Republic and had IVF there... Again 4th time lucky!!! 

Wishing you all the best for the next go!

Maya


----------



## Lou-Ann

Mazlouise, welcome to the group . Sorry that your 3 IUIs didn't work for you. Good luck with number 4 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## mazlouise

Thanks everyone! I'm excited to be here!xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Mazlouise - welcome to the madness - all the best for your treatment honey


----------



## Footsteps

Welcome Mazlouise, best of luck to you and here's hoping it is 4th time lucky for you too.

Footsteps x


----------



## michandrea

Hi all,

It's great to find this website and see that there are so many women in the same situation. I'm 40 and have decided that can wait no longer.. my tests are fine and now it's just up to me to make the plunge. This probably sounds crazy but have others worried about how they will cope being single? I feel pretty sorted about using donor sperm , going through IVF and even the finances but the worry of will i cope alone (even with a great family and friend network) is keeping me up at night 

Andrea


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Andrea, welcome to the group 

I'm sure we all worry about different things in this journey (I know I do), but as with most things that crop up in life, you find a way to manage 

Good luck with your journey....

Lou-Ann x


----------



## mazlouise

Welcome Andrea!
Yep, I would say it was definitely something that was initially on my mind when I decided to start this journey....however, but as Claire says, not ever having kids is far worse! We will all manage, you just do I'm sure, and if all those 14 year old teenagers with no money, family or help can manage, by gum, we can!!!!!!
Maria xx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Andrea, welcome to the singles board!    I hope you thrive and flourish (not just cope!) when you become a mum.  Sometimes it isn't easy doing it on your own, but the good days more than out do the more challenging ones (well, 3 years in they do - ask me when my little fella becomes a teenager and you might get a more circumspect response!  )

A-Mx


----------



## some1

Hello and welcome mazlouise and andrea!  hope you find all the support and information you need here!

some1

xx


----------



## starbuck

Hi

Thought I'd start here to say hello to everyone.  I have been thinking about going it alone for some time now and recently its all I seem to be able to think about and I am becoming more confident that now is the right time.

I have given a lot of thought to all the usual worries about being a single parent but only recently realised how daunting and expensive it is to become pregnant in the first place.  

I'm going to the LWC seminar on the 9th May and wondered if anyone else from this group is likely to be there?  I've been looking at the stats for IUI for my age group (almost 37 now) and they are so low.  I'd be interested to hear if anyone my age has been sucessful with IUI (and how many tries it takes on average) or whether the norm is to go for IVF.

Thanks
starbuck


----------



## Roo67

Hi Starbuck and welcome to our world. 

I think everyone on here has had worries about going it alone, but the thought of not having a child is alway worse.

There a few ladies on here who have been to an inseminar and I'm sure they will be along to let you know all about it.

good luck

r x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Starbuck, welcome to the group and good luck with your journey 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

Hi Starbuck,
Welcome to the group!

I started this just as I turned 36 last year.  The Inseminar programme is worth going to as you can book up for a consultation on the day for half price, but then really the most useful bit of this is the scan and you could do that separately if you decided to go with this clinic, the advantage being that they have sperm readily available which does make them quite attractive!

I had 3 IUI's which didn't work and was prepared to do 6 as I then figured that would be like 6 months trying and if didn't work then probably meant there was a problem. after 3 I had my tubes checked which went into spasm so don't know if my tubes are blocked or not    so decided to move to IVF. IUI is expensive with low success rates but I did only do natural and looking back I wish I started with medicated from the beginning, just to up the chances.  having said that I think emotionally I needed to go through the IUI's in order to get my head round IVF!  The only thing I would say is to get tubes checked before you begin, because if there is any problem there and you do IUI's then you are wasting money, I had no reason to believe mine would be a problem.  The clinic I have now moved to said that my tubes could be very sensitive and might even have spasm'd during IUI procedure - but who knows about that!

Good luck with it all...look forward to hearing more.
xx


----------



## some1

Hello Starbuck

Welcome to our group!  Hope you are finding all the information that you need.  I conceived my wonderful little girl via IUI when I was 36 (I've just turned 37) on my fifth treatment, so it definitely is possible.  My clinic quoted me a 20-25% chance of IUI working versus 35%ish for IVF.  My 5 treatments cost me around the same as one cycle of IVF would have done, so for me IUI was definitely the right option.  Have you had any fertility investigations done yet?  This would give you a much better picture re which treatment option might be best for you.

some1

xx


----------



## starbuck

Hi

Thanks everyone for responding.

I'm glad I have found this group - it's great to have people to ask for advice and information.

I haven't had any tests yet so no idea what will be recommended but I'm thinking of 3 IUI natural and then move to meds.  Mind you your posts make me wonder if I should start with medicated - the thing that scares me with this though is the chance of twins.  Does anyone know how likely this is?  If I use meds do you need to have the scans too - sorry I've only got my head around the natural IUI so far.

I'm definitely going to sign up for the consultation and then see what they recommend.  I presume you need to have the blood tests before the consultation for them to advise you?  I hadn't thought about the tests for blocked tubes will look into that.

Thanks


----------



## lulumead

Hi Starbuck

That was my plan too...3 natural then 3 medicated...I did 2 natural, no scans at all...so just using OPK and then 1 natural with scans which was reassuring as then you know exactly what's going on, and that the timing is good.  I was given odds from LWC of 10 - 15% with natural and 15 - 20% with medicated.  If there hadn't been the inconclusive tube test for me, I would have stuck out the 6 IUI's but with medication and scans...I know I'm ovulating and my hormone levels are good but the thing that's hard to tell is the quality of your eggs.
At LWC you can do natural with no scans about £1200, natural with scans £1500, and then medicated with scans (think they always scan to check all ok re multiples!) which is about £1600 + drugs.

I had a hycosy at LWC which cost about £450 (to check my tubes), and it is probably wise to have done before you start, some clinics won't let you do IUI's until you have done this.

Think my initial consultation was pre-blood tests, they told me what I needed doing, then I got them done (some with my GP so worth asking), then they advise what to do but I had pretty much decided IUI first.

Good luck....lots to get your head around but it soon becomes second nature, and I always went into it thinking someone has to be in the lucky 10 - 15%, so why not you!

lxx

PS: I know when i started looking (obsessively!) at people who had conceived with IUI - after my 3rd attempt, there definitely seemed to be more that did so having had some form of medication, so kicked myself that hadn't done that myself.


----------



## Issy42

Hi Starbuck (and hi everyone else - sorry been away for so long),

I thought that too, but after 5 natural IUIs (all with scans) leading to one mc and 4 BFNs, the nurse explained to me that because donor sperm is frozen and the quality lower, they had never had any twins and I too wish I'd had medicated sooner. I also wish I'd moved to IVF sooner - hindsight and all that!

I got referred to my clinic by my GP who did all the blood tests for me without charge (same for the additional IVF ones, but hopefully you won't need that). My clinic was in East Midlands not London, but it was an NHS fertility clinic and they did my initial appointments and HyCosy free. I also didn't have to pay anything if cycle cancelled - without scans would have had 3 wasted IUIs - twice ov'd early and once not at all even though had positive OPK. IUI with Clomid went up to £800 per cycle last autumn and was around £1000 for IUI with GTs, so worth seeing what's out there. The downside was they didn't do IVF so had be referred to a new clinic for that, but did get to take my donor with me.

Good luck.


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Starbuck, welcome to the group!  I got pregnant on my 4th medicated IUI a week after turning 38. I then tried a further 3 x to fall pregnant using the same method before doing IVF - in hindsight, I wish I'd changed my approach earlier than I did to maximize my chances of falling pregnant. It's far more intrusive and expensive, but then the chances of hitting the jackpot are higher. Good luck with your treatment - here's hoping it only takes one go!

Issy, good to see you posting again!

A-Mx


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi starbuck and welcome....
I first started going down this route when I was 37... expecting to fall straight away after an iui - turns out my ovarian reserve was zero and have ended up down the DE route.  Your clinic will advise you whats the best route to take once your fertility levels have been established... 
I too had an hsg prior to treatment.
Good luck  - take care mini x x


----------



## madmisti

Hi Starbuck and welcome  Have you considered treatment abroad?  There are loads of us going to Reprofit in the Czech Republic - you will find lots of info on the CR boards.  IUI there - including scans ( though you may need one in UK before you go) is only 100 Euros - crazy price difference to UK! Their donor sperm (no waiting list) is also 100 Euros. Flights and accommodation ( can be there just one night) roughly £100-£200.

Once you have blood test results you can fill in the free initial consultauion form on their website and a doctor will look at that and advise you. You can also go over there for a free consultation before you start. I did because I hadn't any fertility treatment at all, but most women have had treatments before so don't feel need for to go over first.It is a loveluy clinic - very modern. There are 3 drs who speak English - it is Stepan you will deal with by email generally.

It has become hugely busy with FF ladies being treated there! Which means there is usually someone else from FF there at same time as you. The ladies currently over there met up for a meal and there were 12 of them!  A few times I have had FF ladies on same flight as me too  

Good luck with your journey  

Misti x


----------



## starbuck

I hadn't realised it was so much cheaper abroad. I have emailed reprofit to ask them for more details.  I've read some of the abroad thread and as a newbie to this it sounds like a lot of potential problems going abroad.  I'm wondering if perhaps a good plan would be to get all the tests etc here and do at least one cycle at LWC and then move to reprofit once I've got an idea on what the procedure / drugs are.

A number of you have recommended going for medicated IUI straight away.  I realise now that there seems to be 2 general types - clomid and injections.  Is clomid more of a mild stim or is it just different.  I would prefer to take as few drugs as possible but wonder which choice the successful girls made.

Thanks all for taking the time to advice me.


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Welcome Donna

Can't help with Northampton I'm afraid as I've had tx in London and now abroad in Czech Republic, but there's quite a few girls in the Midlands so I'm sure someone will be along soon with some experiences of that clinic....

Don't think you can get frozen donor sperm here in the UK. There are websites where you can make arrangements with sperm donors to get fresh donor sperm for insemination. Bit of a legal minefield if you don't go via a clinic though - you need to be very sure you've thought through all that....only way to be sure all the legal issues etc are taken care of is to go via a clinic (do check out the lesbian/gay thread on this one - pretty sure there are some girls there who have gone the donor route outside of clinics)

Also if you don't want to wait 6 months, might be worth asking Care Northants if you can import sperm from a sperm bank. There are several - eg Cryos, European Sperm Bank, Xytex who all ship sperm to the UK which conforms to the HFEA regulations (has to be from donors who agree to be contacted when the child turns 18 as these are UK rules)
Downside of this is that you have to pay extra - about £1000 for a pregnancy slot - in the UK donors can only have 10 children so this extra cost makes sure that the donor does not go over this limit. This cost is over and above the cost of the sperm itself. Plus shipping. So it's quite expensive but if you are really keen to get going asap it could be an option

We've often talked about writing a book from the UK perspective. One of these days we'll get round to it - we have so much knowledge here on FF it would be a shame to see it go to waste. Meantime, feel free to ask away with your questions. Have a look at the single girls having IUI thread too - there you can chat to others having IUI and share experiences

Wishing you the best of luck,
Suitcase
x


----------



## starbuck

Hi Donna

Welcome to the group. I've only just joined myself and at the same stage as you so can't really help much but wanted to say hello.  I've decided to start with having all the screening tests and hycosy as a start to get an idea of my fertility and then take it from there.  I'll be doing this in London.

starbuck


----------



## ♥JJ1♥

welcome to the thread ladies wishing you luck on your journies
L x


----------



## RedRose

Welcome mazlouise, andrea, starbuck, and donna,

    For those of you interested in IUI I am hoping to start soon with Reprofit in CZ Rep but have gone through some of the process with them, so I am happy to answer any questions if I can help.  The great thing about FF is that there is always someone who has travelled down the road before you, and from my point of view, especially being older that is invaluable in saving you time and giving you support.  For me, finding lots of other women in the same position also made me feel more able to get started on my own instead of waiting around for an immaculate conception!
    Please come and post on the IUI thread as well, it is always useful to compare experiences, different clinics, etc, and good luck on this exciting journey!,
                                            love Rosi.


----------



## indekiwi

Welcome Donna!  

Someone asked earlier if those falling pregnant on medicated was with clomid or something more aggressive.  While doing DIUI, I always used puregon (stimm) and pregnol (trigger for ovulation).  Puregon in higher dosages is used for short protocol IVF but while I was doing IUI, I used 150 ml every other day.  The clinic was looking for me to generate between 2 and 4 eggs each cycle to maximise pregnancy chances.  Even with medication and scans, it took four attempts for me to fall pregnant.  This really is a numbers game though - you could fall pregnant first time (fingers crossed that you do!) or not at all using this route.  For women over 38, I really would strongly urge you at least to consider medicated IVF from the get go - the objective is to fall pregnant and successfully carry a baby to term and despite the cost, the reality is that it is far more likely that you will fall pregnant with IVF than with IUI.  Sorry if this sounds extreme - but having just had a BFN (big fat negative) on my 5th attempt to conceive a sibling for my son and now having to use donor eggs as well as donor sperm (thank you wonderful donors for giving me this chance to add to my family!  ) and fast approaching 42, I wish I'd started using IVF far sooner.  

A-Mx


----------



## RichmondLass

Hi all - can I join your thread? 

I joined Sunday having returned from Institute Marquez at the weekend (saw Gerard Plaza and Sarah Reidell).  I am 44, single with no children and no pregnancies.  Have signed up for double donation IVF - probably end of June. Crikey!  Have a great network or mates but no family to speak of, so anxious about how I'll cope - hoping that's where FF comes in!

Any advice, suggestions support and any local ladies - all gratefully received.

RichmondLass


----------



## sunnygirl1

Hi RichmondLass and welcome!  You have certainly come to the right place.  I have found everyone's advice and support on this thread really useful.

Good luck with your tx

Sunny xx


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Richmondlass, welcome to the crew! Hope you find all the information and support you need on this site.  I used to live in Putney and Twickenham and spent many a happy evening in Richmond - it's a great place.  Hope to meet you in London on 9th.

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

welcome richmondlass...looking forward to hearing all about your journey.  

xx


----------



## Candee

Hi Richmondlass,
I am also single and having double donation ivf in July! Welcome to FF!  
Candee


----------



## Betty-Boo

Hi Richmondlass - I've just had the double donor ivf - it was amazing, although I did test negative - I was truly happy to have got as far as the 2ww and felt that I actually achived something after the stop starts experienced previously.... Here's wishing you every success in the world honey     

Mini x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Richmondlass and welcome! Good luck with your journey  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## babynumber

Wow... Thanks for the welcome messages everyone.  I was Really thrilled to have these when I checked in on my messages.

Suitcase - your experience and advice on costs etc is very useful thanks
Starbuck - keep me posted please on your progress - you can always email me directly if you want to chat
Hi to Lx  and to Rosi !
and Welcome to Richmond Lass!

this is a really friendly group. 
I will check out the IUI thread too...  I'm taking all this a day at a time and with small steps I'm sure ill get there in the end.
Good luck to you all out there too.
Donna x


----------



## sweet1

Hi again everyone,

I'd been thinking of doing egg-share at LWC but because of a medical condition I have it turns out I won't be able to, and when I found this out to be honest I felt a little relieved as the thought that I'd have to rush to do it - I'm 35 in November which is the age limit - was panicking me a bit and now I feel it isn't an option, that's a bit of a weight off my mind.

I've been reading up a little on Reprofit and it seems like a good cost-effective option for IUI treatment, which is where I think I's start, but I would want the child to potentially be able to contact the father at 18 - is it complicated and costly to import sperm from ESb for example to do this? Thank you for any advice or links anyone could give me on this! I really appreciate it.

I wish I could come to the meet as I'd love to meet others in the same boat, but hopefully there will be another one at some point.

I'm feeling more positive at the moment about my options but it is still quite scary!!! It's great that this board exists.


----------



## RedRose

Welcome richmondlass and jess, I have to say I think the singlies are a great group.  Someone will always know the answer to your questions!  Best of luck, love Rosi.


----------



## madmisti

Welcome Jess    Your best bet is to post on the 'Single Abroadies' thread hun as there are a few ladies on there who have imported sperm from ESB to Reprofit.  You could also try the main Reprofit thread but this is very busy and can be daunting - and of course not all singlies their either.  Hope you get answers soon. It is quite scary  when you start out on this journey, but all the advice, experience and support here will help you find your way  .

Take care
Misti x


----------



## sweet1

Ah ok mistimop, I will have a read through that thread as maybe there are some answers already posted and I'm sure it's a great place to start!

Thanks for the advice!


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Jess,

As Cem says, importing from ESB to Reprofit is really easy - depending on how quickly you can make your mind up about donor you can be done and dusted in about 10 mins online! But it's not the cheap option (that said, it's not all that much more expensive than sperm in the UK, it's just a lot more than it costs here at Reprofit itself)

If you are thinking of having a few goes (especially if doing IUI) then be sure to order enough at a time - that way the shipping cost works out more evenly. It's about €300 for shipping regardless how much - so better to order 3+ vials if you think you'll need that much
Can always keep some for siblings if you get lucky first or second time! (storage fees at Reprofit are very reasonable)

Feel free to PM me if more questions, 
Suitcase
x


----------



## sweet1

Thank you Suitcase and Cem,

That's really useful info and the costs don't seem too bad actually, less than I thought in fact. Plus as you said if yo order enough at one time I presume you'd just have to pay that cost once, although I might be wrong about this? (then all you'd have to pay is the treatment costs each time on top of this)?

It might be a bit more but I think the long-term benefits to the child (potentially, though I gues yo can never be sure these things will work out) more than outweigh that.

Anyway thanks again and I think I've hijacked the welcome thread now for too long so anything else related to this I will post on the abroadies one!!

I'm off to the West Country for a week so I hope you all have a lovely meet-up in London.

x


----------



## JO81

hi x

kind of new to this but wondering if anyone could give me any advise about the legal side of sperm donation 

i am single and the nhs have turned me down for funding but i have found a guy who is willing to donate privatly and i just want to make sure i get the legal side sorted.

is there a contract some where i could use ??

any help and advise would be so great  

feeling lost at the min  

Jo
x x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Jo,

And welcome! No need to feel lost, there's lots of us here - come and chat on any of the threads....

The majority of us singlies here are going the clinic route and using the clinic supplied sperm which makes the legal side so much easier - but is also very expensive as you probably know.

JJ here has a known donor, but they are good friends and intend to co-parent so a slightly different situation

I haven't looked into it in detail but I know there are some challenges with private donation - the main one being that the donor is legally the child's father. I think there are contracts you can use to get around this, but not sure if these are actually legally binding at the end of the day.

Couple of suggestions for you - pop your post on the gay and lesbian thread - there are I'm sure a few girls there who have used private donors and I'm sure they will be able to help with the paperwork side of things
I was also going to suggest Ask A Lawyer, but it seems that we don't have one at the moment (couldn't find a thread/board for it anyway). Natalie Gamble used to help out with legal questions but perhaps she's not around right now

However see this old post from Nat - this might help:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=169327.0

Not at all trying to put you off as totally understand the need to keep costs to a minimum, but pls get the legal side sorted before you go ahead as it does seem to be a bit of a minefield

Wishing you all the very best, 
Suitcase
x


----------



## andra

Hi
I am another ' new  single' who tries to find 'the way'.
Could you please write me where are single women accepted, I mean in which country? I wrote to Reprofit and they refuse single women- only couples are accepted.  Thank you


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Andra - that is very strange, Reprofit in Brno definitely treats single women - there are at least 9 or 10 of us who have been treated there in the last year or so - either for IUI, IVF with own eggs, or with donor eggs. None of us have hidden the fact that we are single and we have had no problems being treated. Who did you speak to there? You need to talk to Drs Stepan or Marek.

Denmark is also an option - I definitely recall at least one single who has been treated there, although I can't remember who it was - sorry...

Also Spain - Richmondlass is having donor egg tx in Spain very soon. And Candee is going to South Africa soon too - so both those countries will treat

And of course the UK - almost every clinic here now treats single women - it's illegal for them to discriminate against us

Infact I think these days most clinics/countries will treat single women, although I do think Italy might be one exception.

Good luck,
Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Andra, and welcome! Just adding to the list, Cyprus is another possibility for single women, but Germany and Greece are not.

A-Mx


----------



## Damelottie

It IS illegal for them to treat single women in Czech so you do need to initially 'e' mail Stefan or Marek. They are obviously prepared to take the risk and probably have some paperwork or something to cover themselves. If you 'e' mail anybody else you might just get told the official line I'm afraid  . This has happened now to quite a few people.

Love

LL xx


----------



## andra

Thank your all for answer. 
Yes, it is illegal to treat single women in Czech. I wrote to the clinic , trying to find how to book an appointment for exam and I got the refuse.
I am  living in Lancashire, so on April  I asked my GP for referral to Care, Manchester. But he hasn't referred me yet! He didn't refuse me, but he didn't bother to send that referral, even if I asked him twice! I don't know if he forgets or he has some conscious problems. For me is a stressful experience to keep going there and ask him for that referral. It is like asking for his approval , but  I don't need his acceptance and didn't ask for NHS treatment.Anyway, I am forced  to book another appointment and remind him again. For me it is a sad fact that in 2 months, I couldn't get at least a referral!
Without a consultation, is difficult to decide what to do next- what should I ask for? ivf? I will be soon 39, so probably this would be my only option.
Maybe i will follow your advice and write to Stefan, or Marek. In the worst case, they will refuse me and I am already prepared  for that.  
Thank you again for writting me, Andra


----------



## Damelottie

Hello there

I had some treatment from Care before and they didn't need a GP referral. Not all clinics do.

If you 'e' mail Stefan or Marek there is no need to give them any of your personal circumstances. They don't need them and probably won't ask. They will just send you the initial forms to fill in and return. Or you could go over for a consultation appt. They don't charge for those.

Sorry you're being delayed. Very frustrating when you want to get going

LL xxxx


----------



## RichmondLass

Hi ladies
Several months ago I emailed a Czech clinic, I can't remember which one asking what the position was and got a swift reply saying that they don't treat single women and they needed a needed a form signed by your partner - just that.  From which I inferred tht you simply needed to bring some paperwork along with you from 'a partner'...?  I know no more.

RL


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

I emailed the general email addy from the website and got the response 'we do not treat single women' - definately best to email Marek or Stefan directly, and don't mention being single, just that you want treatment using donor


----------



## Roo67

I filled in the first virtual visit form and have never had a problem. Just about to go over for my 5th go !

Good luck

R x


----------



## Damelottie

I think it makes a difference Roo who your initial contact was. I just filled out that form too - after initially 'e' mailing Stefan direct.

I do remember something about the paperwork on my first visit  , but I won't say anything more on a public forum. It made no difference to me  . It IS illegal over there so they'd have to be careful. Obviously it isn't something they agree with as an organisation - lucky for us   

xx


----------



## OneStepAtATime

Hi Andra and welcome
I contacted Care Nottingham a couple of months ago, when it looked like I would be bottom of my clinic's waiting list again, and they told me I could self-refer. Perhaps Manchester is different, but it was very easy (I sent an email). 

Perhaps ring them direct and see whether you can self-refer.

Best wishes
OneStep


----------



## Betty-Boo

I too just filled out the form - never emailed Stepan direct until I'd had my first consult with Repro.  Perhaps its partly to do with the fact that they are sooooo busy at the moment as well as not really being able to treat singlies.  Perhaps they have to becareful and do things by the book so to speak not to raise any concerns.  
I'm also double booked with Glasgow - but have my date for DE in Brno (next year!).  Gives me plenty of time to get fit - lose weight and save some more money!!!

Big hugs mini


----------



## andra

Thank you again for your messages and hope you enjoy weekend!

I feel a litlle bit more confident and I started to organize myself. It is all getting like a business, where the result depends on your luck  but also money. My GP will send again ( so he said!) the referral,  and meantime i am studying danish clinics. Also it seems easy to get an appointment there, comparing with UK. 
I took a pencil, a paper and keep counting. What means 'additional services' to ivf? I am afraid that the cost of ivf is ivf+additional! Why they don't write from beginning ivf is xxx?  
How much is this ivf? I reckon that it should starts at  around 5000£, but not sure how expensive it could get.
Is anyone going to Copenhage?

Good luck to you all


----------



## RichmondLass

Andra 

I imagine the 'plus' is drugs, any other tests you might have to have or opt to have en route and then storage of sperm/eggs if needs be.

I got so frazzled trying to compare costs like for like treatment and against travel and expenditure in various countries that I gave up and just went on a personal recommendation in the end!  For good or bad (and it's certainly not the cheapest) I'm relatively happy with my decision.  Sometimes you have to throw in a bit of instinct into the list of pros and cons.

RL


----------



## Teela

Hi everyone, I have been lurking and plucking up the courage to post for a while! Today I decided to go for it as getting nearer
my first treatment, and getting slightly anxious about the next steps!! 
I have learnt so much of you ladies so far so even though I was only a lurker thanks from me for getting me this far 
Hoping I can become part of this singles club and looking forward to getting to know you all better through this process of TTC.

Teela

X


----------



## Sima

Hi Teela

Welcome to the boards.   Well done for getting this far.  Where are you having your IUI? 

Do feel free to post anywhere on the boards.  We are a really friendly and supportive bunch.  We do meet up from time to time so do check the other threads and come along to a meet.  I think there are plans for meets in Glasgow, London (DCN picnic) and Manchester.

Good luck with your first IUI  .

Sima


----------



## Lou-Ann

Andra and Teela, hello and welcome to the group ! 

Teela good luck with your imminent tx  

Andra, sorry I can't add to any of the abroad clinics already mentioned that treat single women, but want to wish you luck with your decision making 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## some1

Hello Andra and Teela and welcome to the boards!  Like Sima says, feel free to post on any of the threads - we are a very friendly bunch!

Some1

xx


----------



## lulumead

hello andra and teela...good luck and welcome to our lovely group  

x


----------



## Teela

Thanx for the welcomes All, having my first treatment at Care Notts Sima. Still waiting for confirmation
of when the   will be available!

Teela


----------



## indekiwi

Welcome Teela and Andra, hope you both get lots of support and information from the Singles Board - it's a fabulous forum.   

A-Mx


----------



## kyracallum

Hi all

my name is jules and i am pretty new to all this i was told by Caz and indekiwi that i should say hello, i am single and about to have my first iui on the weekend and just want to say hello,, and just need alittle guidance on how to use this website apart from postings, i will admit i have visited the chat rooms but am very nervous about what to say xxx


----------



## lulumead

hi kyracallum

welcome to our lovely group...post anywhere and ask anything, everyone is very supportive and knowledgeable.  there is an IUI board if you want to start there.

good luck for the weekend.
xx


----------



## Mifi

Hi Kyracallam

As lulu said there is an IUI board but also a 2WW one which you can post on. I have my next IUI on Friday so just a day or two ahead of you so come join us on those threads if you like. Personally I prefer posting on the boards rather than going to the chat room but thats just me  

Good luck with your basting this weekend    

Love FM XXXX


----------



## indekiwi

Kyracallum, glad you found your way to the singles board - hope you find lots of support and information from the lovely women who post here.  

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Kyracallum, hello and welcome to the board ! Good luck with your imminent tx 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## some1

Hello Kyracallum and welcome to our area!  As the others have said, feel free to post anywhere, we are a very friendly group.  Good luck with your IUI this weekend, if you are like me it will feel very surreal - sending you   for a first time lucky BFP (big fat positive)

Some1

xx


----------



## kyracallum

thank you all for your wishes of good luck everything went well yesterday, it the next 2 weeks that are going to be hard but thank you for being here i am so glad i found you allXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO


----------



## Sima

Hi Orange-Blossom

Welcome back to the boards.  My, you have been on an emotional journey. I am so sorry to hear your ex is giving you a hard time over your frozen embies but it does not look as though there is anything you can do about this.  This must be so hard   .

It is certainly possible to go ahead and conceive as a single woman and I think there are at least a couple of single ladies on this board who already have a child and are going for no two with DS.  The majority of us are going forward using anonymous DS via a clinic.  This way seems to be the cleanest way (though more expensive method) but it does get round all of the legal issues of who is the father and what rights would they have over the child.  JJ1 is using a known donor but going through a clinic but I am sure she would be able to give you any tips on this route and I think Mistilake used a known donor via the conventional route (Misti L - correct me if I am wrong). I think between all of us we would be able to give you advice on all scenarios you might choose to go down.

Do feel free to post anywhere on the boards and I am sure someone will come back to give you advice.  Feel free to start up your own thread as well.  Where are you based?  Have you been tested yet?

Sima x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Having been on holiday and without internet for over a week I'm a bit behind, but just wanted to say hello to all the newbies and welcome to our lovely group  

Do jump in and post wherever, you'll soon get to know everyone, wishing you all the very best with your ttc journeys,

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Hi OrangeBlossom, welcome back!  Sorry to hear about your relationship breakdown and that you have so many frosties just out of reach.    However, you will find lots of support and information the singles board and as Sima and Suitcase have said, just dive in and post wherever takes your fancy.  A few of us are TTC our second bubs and can certainly empathise with your desire to continue building your family.   

A-Mx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Welcome to the group Orangeblossom . Sorry that you are unable to use your frosties . Good luck with whichever route you choose to go down 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Kiwi_in_uk

Hi

I'm new.  Well, not newly single (thats old news).  I would love to meet ladies in the same boat as me.  My knight got a bit lost and when I discovered, after m/c a in May, that I was high FSH and low on follies, ergo time, I decided to ditch match.com and move on to a clinic and go it alone.

I'm on tx in the 2ww at the moment. I've got lots of AF type pains and on the edge of my seat.  But, anyway - if all of that results in a BFP I'm then going to have to get used to how to deal with single parent hood.  Would love to hear from those along the journey.

All the best for your treatments too!


----------



## indekiwi

Hi KiUK!  I'm another one...kiwi in UK that is!  And a single one to boot.    

Fingers crossed that your TWW will result in one of those lovely   badges!      In the meantime, post wherever you feel the urge - the singles board is a very welcoming place, with lots of support, encouragement and (sadly) experience of different ways of becoming a SMC.  You might want to try the TWW thread for starters - there are quite a few ladies coming up for testing in the next week or two      As for dealing with the reality of being a single mum, there's quite a long list now posting on the bumps and babes board, with four babies entering the world in May.    It can't be an impossible thing to deal with - a few of us are looking to have poppet no. 2...though I guess we might be a bit nuts to begin with, but I'll live with that!  

A-Mx


----------



## lulumead

hi Kiwi in UK!

I think my knight must have met yours on the way too!!!

Good luck - I too am on the 2WW....maybe see you on the other board  

xxx


----------



## Kiwi_in_uk

Hi lulumead and Indekiwi

Thanks for your kind words!  These Knights must be getting nabbed by those younger women!!!  Lol.  Never mind, we live to fight another day.

Good luck with the 2WW Lulumead - I hope its a BFP!  I'm not sure mine will be as bleeding today.  But you never know, it could be my lucky day and its implantation bleed.  hummmmm.  I hope yours goes well.

Indekiwi - poppet number two!!!!  You are very brave!  Best of luck - I hope you get one!!  How do you find doing all this over here with no family support?  I'd love to hear your tricks of the trade.

Kiwi
xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

orange blossom - hello and welcome (if I haven't already said that - have been away for a few days holiday and not really caught up properly yet)

re IVF abroad - yes you can do it as a single, and yes, there is often no wait for donor sperm. It can be cheaper (eg in Czech Republic, I think also Ukraine) but often it is similar price to UK especially once you add in travel costs etc (eg Spain, Greece, Russia etc), and if you go to the US, it's probably more expensive....

One thing to be aware of regarding sperm donors in Czech, Ukraine, Russia, Spain (in fact pretty much everywhere except UK, US, Aus/NZ) is that they are completely anonymous. You get some very basic physical characteristics, but neither you nor the child will ever be able to find out anything further about the donor. Whereas in UK as you probably know, when the child turns 18 they can seek more information/contact the donor.

Now this may or may not be important to you. If it is important to you, there are ways round it - you can import ID release sperm from European Sperm Bank (in Copenhagen) or Cryos (also in Denmark) or Xytex (in the US) to your chosen clinic abroad. Of course this then adds to the cost - sperm per vial is around €300-400, plus 300-400 for shipping costs. 

It seems the cheapest option for own egg IVF abroad is Czech Republic. Reprofit is the clinic most singles have used, but there are other clinics there which FF people use - have a look at the Czech thread.
I had 2 own egg cycles at Reprofit and estimate that I saved roughly £1000-1500 vs London Womens Clinic (but LWC are expensive to start with, as are most of the London clinics)
Nonetheless over 2 cycles that's a good saving

Hope this helps, feel free to PM me if questions re going abroad
Suitcase
x


----------



## Damelottie

Hello Orange-Blossom

I went abroad for treatment. I was one of the ones that actually prefers the anonymity of the donors.

More than happy to chat via pm if its at all helpful.

Nice to have you back  

LL xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Kiwi_in_uk

Hi there

I've been reading up alot of success rates at different clinics.  I wondered if Mr T at ARGC would treat me - but according to FF they only deal with couples.  Has anyone single ever managed to get treatment there?  I'm hoping I can go there.  If not, does anyone know the best why to test for and find out why one might be having recurring Miscarriages and a good clinic for treating you if you are have a misscarriage problem?

Thanks
Kiwi
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Kiwi,

JJ has had tx at ARGC - however she is ttc with a known (gay) donor, so on that occasion they presented themselves as a couple. As I understand it, they will not treat singles at all. I wonder if you could now challenge that given some recent changes in the law- might be worth posting on the Ask a lawyer thread to see what Nat Gamble thinks. Mind you, I've always felt if you have to take them to court/challenge them in law to get them to treat you, it might not be a very pleasant experience to be treated there if you know what I mean...

re recurrent miscarriage, you can see a consultant who specialises in this and then work with them and a clinic separately - so you don't necessarily need a clinic which is good for miscarriages/immune issues. Both Dr ******* and Dr Gorgy work in this area. They will do the miscarriage tests and prescribe relevant drugs where needed, you can then run your tx in parallel with another clinic. Dr G specialises very much in immune issues. He will either work with another clinic, or you can do it all through him - he uses the theatre facilities at LWC for EC/ET etc

not too sure about the best tests, but perhaps onestep may be able to help as I know she's recently had the m/c tests...hopefully she'll be along to comment soon

good luck,
Suitcase
x


----------



## OneStepAtATime

Hi Kiwi

I don't have any great level of knowledge about the tests to be honest. When I went to see a consultant, they gave me the following tests on the NHS:

lupus anticoagulant
HBAIC - haemoglobin test (testing glucose)
TFTs - Thyroid function tests
Anticardiolipin Antibodies
Karyotying (chromosomes)

I also went to see Mr ******* and he ran various blood clotting and immune tests. I haven't got the info with me, but it included Natural Killer Cells and MTHFR. He decided what was necessary at the first consultation.

There is another thread on the main board about investigations and someone has listed various tests there. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=52.0

Hope that helps

I'm really sorry to read that you don't think this cycle has worked. It's a tough journey all this.   
Best wishes
OneStep


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi everyone,

I've been lurking around so long on these boards (about a year!) I feel like I know everyone already!  I really wish I'd found sites like this earlier, I seem to have spent much of my adult life coming to terms with, battling infertility, for the most part completely on my own.  I only started admitting to others that I wanted children once I'd begun DIUI!  As you can imagine this floored friends and family who had me pigeon holed as the single career woman without a care in the world.  I was given terrible odds for success then hit the jackpot on my second attempt  , which floored them all again!  I feel the luckiest person alive to have my daughter.  The moment she was born 20 years of uncertainty, pain and despair just turned off like a light.  I'm trying not to let work and money get me down, the most difficult thing is friends.  My closest friend since university has broken off all contact, still not sure why. I don't know any other single parents and friends with children have teenagers.  I'm really regretting not attending ante natal classes so I could have met a few more people locally with babies.  But I didn't have the time or the energy back then and to tell the truth didn't want to be the only one on her own. I still don't have much time or energy but I'd love to meet up with some other single mums.  Must go as nap time is almost over!  Everyone on this site is a complete inspiration.  I've followed many of your journeys and wish you all the luck in the world.  .

Hope I haven't made too much of a hash of this.  Last time I tried to post on a site it posted 5 times and I was too embarrassed to post again!


----------



## Roo67

Hi upsydaisy and welcome to our boards.

You've not made a hash of this and I can only see one post 

jump in wherever you like, we're a friendly bunch and often have meetups which you would be more than welcome to come along too. I wouldn't be where I am today without the love and support from all the girls on here.

R x


----------



## indekiwi

Yes, just the one post I can see Upsy Daisy!    Welcome to the singles board!  Hope you find lots of support from everyone posting here - I find them all pretty inspiring too.    As Roo says, please post whenever and wherever you feel you have something to say, though with a small one in tow you may want to head straight over and say hi on the bumps and babes thread.  I'm not sure if any of us are in East Sussex (Misti maybe?) but there are regular meet ups and I'm sure there will be the opportunity to meet a lot of like minded mums and babes in the not too distant future.  One thought - I have recently joined the donor conception network, and have found two single mums by choice who don't live terribly far from me (I'm in the South Cotswolds).  In fact, I'm due to meet one of them tomorrow and one next Friday, so that more than makes worthwhile the £15 joining fee from my perspective.    I also didn't attend antenatal classes and in hindsight wished I'd made the effort.  However, I am certainly making the effort now my son is getting older.  Hence getting involved with the DCN.  Anyway, I hope you get a lot from the girls here as they are a super friendly bunch.

A-Mx


----------



## bingbong

Just wanted to say hi Upsydaisy, really pleased that you posted after lurking for so long   

As Inde says there is the bumps and babes thread and they were talking about having a meet for those with bumps and babes so maybe head over to there and ask about that? Not sure where abouts they would be meeting. 

Have you tried going to local playgroups and stuff, my sil goes to singing with her baby and stuff like that and has met other mums that way. Once she looked into it there were loads of classes and stuff in her area I am sure that your lo will enjoy singing and letting her mummy meet other people  

Keep posting, the support here really is invaluable.  

Bingbong x


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Upsydaisy

As others  have suggested, the regular meet-ups can be a good opportunity to meet like-minded women and give your daughter a chance to get to know other children in a similar situation ...Dont regret so much not attending the antenatal classes and focus on the toddler groups ... i thought that attending antenatal may open up possibilities but it didnt really ... I think as everyone was a first-timer and the majority in couples, everyone seemed to focus on their own impending pain and didnt really focus on others... once children have arrived and the majority of women are on their own during day with their children, they are more inclined to look for wider supports so a much better opportunity there...

Look forward to seeing you on Bumps and Babes board

Maya


----------



## upsydaisy

Thanks for the welcome  

Some really good ideas.  I've joined the DCN and I'm looking into a toddler group not far from where I live.  I'm still trying to sort out the work, life, baby juggling act.  It's nice to know not everyone found friends for life at ante natal classes!  They were really expensive and after working a 10 hour day it just wasn't going to happen.  I think someone on the bumps and babies thread may live near my parents so I'll post on there and see if there is anyone else vaguely in my neck of the woods.  I almost went to the Single mums picnic, but London seemed a bit of a big adventure for this year.  Will definitely go next time.
Thanks again, so wish I'd found this site a bit earlier in my journey!


----------



## Candee

Do you have to pay for antenatal classes then?     I can't believe it? I just assumed that they would be provided by the NHS?? How gormless am I!
But what about people that can't afford to pay??
Candee
x


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi Candee  

It depends where you live.  The only free option was one three hour evening session which was fully booked and the next one they offered me was after my due date  !! A lot of people pay for NCT classes which cost quite a bit.  They probably have a reduced cost option if your on a low income, but back then I wasn't!


----------



## madmisti

Hi Upsydaisy   Just wanted to confirm that I am indeed in East Sussex ( well remembered Inde!!)  I am not yet a single mum but hope to be soon! The fact you conceived on IUI no 2 after all your fertility problems is amazing and inspiring!!

Feel free to PM me if you fancy meeting up  

Misti x


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## indekiwi

Misti, I have my uses    

A-Mx


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## upsydaisy

Hi Misti  

I'm a bit new to all this, have worked out what PM means, but haven't yet worked out where to go to do it ! . My journey to motherhood was certainly a long one, it seemed to crawl along at a snails pace for years with various tests and retests and referrals and scans and drugs trials then suddenly I was on a roller coaster, still haven't got my breath back.
Would love to meet up. 
Upsy


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## Roo67

Upsy - just click on user name, (on left of post) which will take you to their profile, scroll down a bit and you will see send pm on the left side.

R x


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## bingbong

or even easier click the funny scroll looking thing on the left side under where a person's area that they live in is written, there are a couple of icons there and if you hover the mouse over them it will tell you what they are. 

Bingbong x


----------



## Roo67

oh yes - forgot about that


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## madmisti

Upsydaisy - will PM you then! If you look at top right it will tell you how many messages you have - if you click on that it will take you to your inbox and you can easily reply from there  

Inde - one of many honey   Another being your entertainment value making grand entrances at meet ups !!

Lol
M x


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## Guest

Hello
I thought I would introduce myself...here goes.
I am 34 and single and about to embark on going it alone. I have wanted a baby more than anything for as long as I can remember but life just has not evolved that way. Whilst i would be sad if I never ended up with a great guy, I could live with it. However I don't feel that i would ever come to terms with not having at least tried to have a bambino.

So 2 years ago i had a laparoscopy, which was fine, had a few consultations and counselling....however I then did not take it forward, always thinking something might change and I would not need to go it alone. However 2 years on and I am thinking it is time to go ahead. I have had the blood tests etc I need from my GP and am now going to make an appointment for a consultation to take things forward.

I am really nervous about it. Very worried about what i will tell people at work.Doing this will mean leaving/changing my job (very pressured and long hours), probably my home and a number of other changes. But when I think of doing it it just makes me feel happy (which is pretty telling) and all big decisions involve change. I really believe that life is short and you have to follow your dreams. There will be huge challenges along the way I am sure but none of those challenges as big as not having a baby.

I have so many questions and concerns but have decided that it will never be possible to start this journey with everything perfectly in place. So i am just going to go for it and deal with any challenges as they come along.

Is there anywhere on this board where I can read about people who have done this already and it has all worked out well?

Many thanks


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## some1

Hello flutterbyes and welcome to our threads, so glad you have found us.

Hopefully you will find lots of useful information and support here.  The concerns you mention are one that many of us can identify with.  If you want to read success stories, have a look at our bumps and babies thread!  I have been lucky enough to have my dream come true, hope the same happens to you!

The threads are very friendly and welcoming, so please just post anywhere you fancy (or start your own), and if you have any questions, just fire away!

Some1

xx


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## Lou-Ann

Flutterbyes, hello and welcome to the group . Good luck with your journey 

Lou-Ann x


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## jelsan

Hi I am new to being part of this type of chatting.I have been doing IVF for three years and have had a difficult road.I have just been advised that it is time to put closure to using my own DNA and use donor eggs. I am having a difficult time with this- I am single and feel like crap that I never met the right guy and now I am being told I can not have a biological child. I am not sure if there is any single women having a similar experience. None of my friends can understand how horrible I am feeling now so my naturopath located this site to find other like me to help me through this difficult time. Is there anyone out there like me? Any advice would be welcome.


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## Roo67

Hi and welcome flutterbyes and jelsan

Have a look around this board and you will see that you are no longer alone. We are all at different points from thinking about going it alone to going through multiple treatments to fullfilling our dreams with several girls with babies and toddlers. 

Jump in wherever you want  - we're a friendly bunch

r x


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## madmisti

Welcome Flutterbyes and Jelsan  

Both of your stories, thoughts and feelings are very familiar - there are lots and lots of us singlies on here who have been through similar decision making processes, have/had similar fears, questions etc. You will find lots of support, answers and, perhaps most importantly of all, friends to share the journey  
Firstly I want to say well done and congratulaitons on having the courage to make the deciosn to go it alone!

Flutterbyes - so many of us wish we had started this journey younger, so it is fantastic you are going ahead and not waiting any longer - it makes a big difference! There will certainly be challenges and change ahead, but it will all be worth it when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time  

Jelsan - So sorry that your IVF's were unsuccessful. There are lots of ladies on here who are making/have made the decision to use donor eggs( me included) as well as ladies expecting DE babies or who already have them, so you will find lots of  answers and support. There is a thread for  just this purpose on the singlies board so hop over there too    DOn't consider yourself a failure because you do not have the 'dream' of a man and a baby. You are a resourceful, brave lady who has faced reality head-on and been pro-active in pursuing at least part of the dream  

Good luck to both of you  

Love
Misti x


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## suitcase of dreams

Hello to our latest newbies (amazing and wonderful how fast our single group is growing )

Jelsan - I'm in a bit of a similar situation to you - I've had several IVF cycles with my own eggs, been pregnant once but lost it at 7 weeks, and have now been told DE is my best chance of having a baby. I found this out in April and I hope to go ahead with donor eggs at the end of August.

Here is a link to a thread I wrote when I needed to get things out (covers BFNs, pregnancy loss and recent discovery re DE). I don't know if it will help but hopefully it will make you feel less alone....
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=174932.0

Feel free to ask questions if there's anything I can help with - and if you'd prefer, you can send me a personal message (click on pen like icon under my user name) so that it's just between us and not on the public forum

Wishing you and flutterbyes all the very best for your next steps. And do jump in and post wherever you feel at home - we're very welcoming and friendly here!

Suitcase
x


----------



## Guest

Thanks so much for your welcome emails.  

It is all very exciting!


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## indekiwi

to Flutterbyes and Jelsan, and welcome to our group of fab singles! As others have already said, there are ladies regularly posting on this site who represent the whole gamut of treatment, and who have done a whole lot of thinking before making a conscious decision to become a mum on their own.  Sanya, Roo and Felix are the most recent among us who have announced a , whilst Maya, LL and Mistylake are due to have their babies in the next four weeks and another five (Some1, Chowy, Kylecat, Patterdale, and Muddypaws) have become new mums since the beginning of the year.     Some of us are even crazy enough to consider TTC a second child (Coco, me).    I am also on to donor eggs since my own ovaries have gone into premature retirement from active fertility duties since having my son.    So, there is plenty of knowledge and experience on this board, and if you can't find a thread that appears to meet your need for information (or for a good old fashioned rant  ) then simply start a new one.  

A-Mx


----------



## Damelottie

Hello Flutterbyes and Jelsen  

I hope you both find lots of help and support on here and on FF in general  

Flutterbyes - I'm currently 36 weeks pg so hopefully its all working out well for me so far. I must say tho - it take quite a long time to get to this place so great that you're starting out    

Jelsen - I never tried IVF. I had two iui's and then went straight onto donor embryos. The issue of using my own eggs has never concerned me at all. I'm more than happy to discuss that more with you anytime. I'm 100% the biological mum in my eyes. There are some donor threads on FF that you might find useful to read. 

Good luck 

LL xxxxx


----------



## Maya7

Welcome Flutterbyes and Jelsen!!!

The others have said it all - theres loads of support, lots of similar struggles and challenges and success stories thrown in to inspire...

Jump in wherever and whenever ..

Wishing you both all the very best
Maya


----------



## Mifi

Hi flutterbyes and jelson    Welcome and well done taking the plunge!!!!

I ditto what Maya has said - keep posting as there is so much support and info on here that the books do not tell you   

I couldn't cope at all without my fellow ff ers    it truely has transformed my journey for the better, even when I am so low that nothing can pick me up ff always manages to   so many of these ladies I see as true friends and I think about them lots, laugh with them and cry with them   so come join us  

Love FM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## ♥Jovial♥

Welcome flutterbyes & Jelson, wishing you lots of luck, look forward to chatting!

Jovi x


----------



## Teela

Hi Flutterbyes and Jelson Im a newbie to this site as well, so look forward to chatting to you both.

take care
Teela
x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Jelson, welcome to the group and good luck with your journey 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hi Alison

Welcome to FF!

There's lots of different threads going on so jump in where ever you like, look forward to chatting!

Wishing you lots of luck
Jovi x


----------



## Carina

Hi ladies
Just a quick hello from me, trying to find my way round the boards, so much information here.
A lot of its making my head spin, but slowly getting my head round it all.
Hopefully going to Reprofit, contacted them last year but now feel I'm ready to start the journey.
Best wishes
Carina


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Alison and Carina, welcome to the boards and good luck with your respective journeys 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## Teela

Hi Alison and Carina good luck with your TTC journeys and hopefully chat soon

Teela
x


----------



## lulumead

hello alison & carina

xxx


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## indekiwi

Alison and Carina, and welcome to the ever burgeoning group of single ladies posting on this board.  Hope you find lots of support and information here.  

A-Mx


----------



## Candee

Hello Alison and Carina  
Candee
x


----------



## indekiwi

Alison, I have had all my tx in the UK, first at London Fertility Centre, and now (hopefully) at CRM London.  A lot of the ladies on this board have started at London Women's Clinic, which is very geared towards single women and lesbian couples and has one of the best sperm banks in the country.  I see you are considering going to Spain or Denmark - you might want to go to those (more generalist) boards on FF and pick up specific information for clinics in each by reading through the relevant threads.  Also, if you look at the front page of the single abroadies thread, you will see a list of the ladies who are heading abroad for treatment, and where they are going.  The vast majority are heading to Reprofit in Czech Republic, but Richmond Lass has just got a BFP in Barcelona  .  My specific circumstances mean that I will not go abroad for tx (I want to use the same sperm donor as for my son, and am unable to export it elsewhere  ) and I am also now requiring donor eggs, so CRM with its shorter waiting list for the latter is an appropriate option for me, though perhaps not others whose only (known) issue is a lack of a male partner.  

A-Mx


----------



## some1

Hello Alison and Carina - welcome to the boards!

Some1

xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi Fraggles, 

And welcome

re telling people - I've told family and friends, and updated them along the way (gone from IUI with donor sperm via IVF with own eggs and donor sperm to double donation IVF eggs and sperm in the last 18 months so a bit of a roller coaster) - they have all been fantastically supportive and not one has questioned my decision (in fact it took me a while to come to terms with the donor egg aspect and family and friends were the ones urging me onwards  )
They say they know how much I want this, and what a great parent I'd be, and that there are so many different kinds of families now, so why not? 

As for work - only 2 people there know, and both are friends rather than simply colleagues. My line manager and other managers etc do not know. My job is pretty flexible and as long as I get the work done, it doesn't matter too much when I do it. I can also work from home pretty much whenever I please. I have juggled appointments and worked late in the evening to make it up. When I was having IVF abroad I simply took the time as holiday. And when I had the miscarriage I was signed off sick by my GP and simply told them I needed a minor gynae op (my colleagues are 99% male and wouldn't dream of asking for details about anything gynae related!)
Only on one occasion did I have to outright lie - when EC date changed and clashed with a trip to Amsterdam for some meetings. Had to invent a migraine - needs must and tx is more important than work at the end of the day.
Once pregnant I intend to tell them how it came about (not in too much detail as that would terrify them I think, but will be open about the tx - they know I am single so would rather they knew it was a planned/wanted baby rather than an accident or one night stand or something) but for now, I don't see it as any of their business - if I was in a couple and trying to get pregnant I wouldn't be running round telling all my colleagues at work!

Hope this helps, I know there is a thread somewhere where a few of us have talked about what we've said and to whom, I'll see if I can find it
Meantime, good luck!
Suitcase
x


----------



## wizard

Welcome Alison and Carina.  I hope you get useful info from the singlies boards and lots of luck on your journeys.

Wizard x


----------



## southern_angel

Hello all.

I've finally plucked up the courage to post after lurking for a couple of years! Have just introduced myself on the LGB board but as a single lesbian I hope I'll be able to make use of this board too...

I'm (recently) single (again!) and have decided I'll probably be going it alone now. I'm in my early 30s and conscious of time ticking on (and of my biological clock ticking ever more loudly!). Tentatively planning to start ttc towards the end of the year. I have been looking into various options, currently hoping to use a known donor for diy AI. 

I'm finding adjusting to making these decisions alone a bit strange (I've always wanted children but have always imagined/hoped that I'd be doing this with a partner) but have signed up to the singles list at DCN so I'm hoping that hearing stories from other single women will help...


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hi Angelmine  

Welcome to FF - glad you have posted    

You'll find plenty of info here and the support from everyone is amazing - they help keep me sane  

Feel free to jump in on any of the posts or start you own - glad you have found us, ask away all you like there's so much to think about.  It's a hard jouney sometimes on our own especially the decision making, but it will be soooo worth it.

Wishing you lots of luck,
Jovi x


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hello Angelmine and welcome to the boards . As Jovi has said, you will find a wealth of info and support here. Good luck with your journey 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## southern_angel

Thank you Fraggles


----------



## southern_angel

Thanks for the welcome Jovigirl and Lou-Ann  

Am just getting to grips with commenting - I thought I was replying to individual comments but I think it is a reply to everyone? 

A


----------



## lulumead

welcome angelmine.  
xx


----------



## madmisti

Welcome Angelmine   You will find loads of support, experience advice etc here -can feel a bit daunting at first as it seems like we all know each other, but we have all been newbies and the more you post, the faster you will feel part of our lovely community  

Lol
Misti x


----------



## Felix42

Hi Fraggles, Carina (we've already spoke  ) and Angelmine. Wishing you lots of  for fulfilling your dreams. You're in the right place for advice, support and friendship. 

Without our lovely FF-ers here I'm sure a lot of us wouldn't have got as far as we have! Wishing you a smooth magical journey ahead. Look forward to getting to know you. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hi fraggles,

yes, I am an avid traveller. I used to use the suitcase of dreams name on a travel forum....have been somewhat less avid of late as financing fertility tx doesn't leave much over for exotic holidays, but still dreaming of Antarctica!

I've had some treatment at London Women's Clinic, some at Reprofit in Czech Republic, and am now back at LWC.  I started with IUI, then a couple of IVF. Switched to Czech because cheaper and thought a change of clinic might help. Finally discovered in April that my eggs are just too old (I'm 39) and unlikely to result in a successful pregnancy   So now back at LWC for donor eggs - and also on the waiting list at CRM.

Hope your fertility journey is shorter and easier than mine   Am not giving up, but it's certainly been tough....just hoping donor eggs is the answer for me....

hello and welcome to Angelmine too...so many new folk. Do feel free to jump in on any thread you fancy...we're generally very chatty here!

Suitcase
x


----------



## indekiwi

Angelmine,   and welcome!  Hope you find plenty of support and information on these boards - everyone is very friendly and there are regular meet ups so hopefully we will see you at one very soon.  

A-Mx


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Fraggles - I had PGD done in the Czech Republic - they take a few cells from the embyros on day 4 and test them. All 6 of mine came back with significant genetic flaws. They did say that this didn't mean I would never produce a good egg/embryo, but that the chances were very slim and I would be better investing my time and emotional energy in DE (donor egg) IVF....

As for UK vs Czech - I couldn't really complain about either. LWC is very much a big business and you can feel a bit like just another patient. Reprofit in Czech is brilliant, but they are getting more and more popular and I think they are struggling a bit to cope with the increased patient numbers....
Czech is quite a bit cheaper though - def worth investigating if money is tight (and isn't it for everyone?!)

Suitcase
x

PS love to come and stay in your Parisien apartment overlooking the Eiffel Tower


----------



## indekiwi

Fraggles, there have been two meet ups in the past month, one in London and one in Stirling, Scotland.  A number of people living in the same area make efforts to catch up on a more informal basis.  Where are you based?  

A-Mx


----------



## indekiwi

Fraggles, I'm in the south Cotswolds, near Stroud.    There are quite a few ladies based in London that post on the singles boards so look out for the next thread dedicated to drinking coffee on the South Bank.  

You are the third NZ passport holder (to my knowledge at least) on the singles boards...kiwiinuk started posting not so long ago and of course there is me.  

A-Mx


----------



## bingbong

I lived in NZ for nearly 5 years so do I count as a little bit Kiwi?!   I have an Aussie passport, but maybe I shouldn't shout that too loudly when trying to fit in with Kiwi's  

Fraggles I am also in the middle of a masters and it has changed my ttc as I wanted to get my research and dissertation done before having a baby, but figured that I could definately be pg while writing it. Thankfully I haven't got any exams! Things changed though and I have had to change my plans for other reasons now   Good luck trying to work out when to start.

And definately join us for coffee on the south bank, I'm sure that we will have a mini meet up in the not too distant future. Hopefully Indekiwi will join us, she is good at making an entrance so you won't miss her   

Bingbong x


----------



## indekiwi

Bingbong, there must be a story behind the Aussie West Island passport?! Or did you spend time there too? Clearly a woman of the Southern Hemisphere, regardless!

Fraggles, I managed to exit even as I entered the fray not so long ago - got swallowed up by the ground only to be released by the flower pot that attacked me. Vicious place, the South Bank. Truly, you take your life into your own hands when you attend a meet up of the singlies!! 

A-Mx


----------



## madmisti

Inde - you belittle your acrobatic talents blaming the flower pot  

Lol
M xx


----------



## bingbong

Inde my mother is from the West Island as you call it, granting me a passport which came in very handy when I decided to live in NZ. And did you hear that the South Island is now 30 cms closer to Oz after an earthquake. 

Bingbong x


----------



## acrazywench

Hello 

I've been lurking/reading the board for a little while, but I thought it might be an idea to come out of lurkdom. I'm 35 and hoping to go through my first cycle of IUI at LWC in August. My new year's resolution was to 'think about my fertility' since my biological clock had been ticking quite loudly for a while. (This might be the first time I've actually kept a resolution!) Initially I was thinking about egg freezing, but my blood tests showed I have poor hormone levels/low fertility so rather than taking a chance on freezing, I've decided to go ahead with treatment now. 

I'm really pleased to find a forum where other people are opting for the single parent route and are probably going through/or have gone through a similar emotional rollercoaster.


----------



## indekiwi

Hi Crazywench, welcome to the ever increasing clan of singlies - lurkdom gets a bit isolating in the doesn't it!    I think we all do the same thing to begin with.    Please post wherever you have a view that you want to share - the IUI thread is normally quite lively and since you have a cycle of tx coming up soon you might want to go and say hello to the ladies posting there.  

Bingbong, despite moving 30 cm closer there have been no moves by the airlines to cut the airfare between the two countries... 

A-Mx


----------



## Grace10704

Hi girls
Hope you don't mind me jumping in. I logged onto FF some time ago then got scared and logged off again!! However I've finally worked out how to post a message I think so here I am.
I'm the very lucky mummy to my little boy James who is now 20 months old. I would love to have a little brother or sister for him but money is too tight & I don't think I'm going to be able to (boohoo). So I'm just enjoying every second of every day with my little man. 
I recently met Indekiwi & had a lovely afternoon with her and her little man who is GORGEOUS! Was good to meet a relative local (Bristol area) as I was starting to think I was the only woman in the south west sensible enough to become an SMC! Hoping to see her again in couple of weeks for a picnic for my birthday (oh god am I really going to be 40 soon!)

Anyway, will try to work out how to get back to here another time to see what you are all chatting about!
Speak soon
Grace10704


----------



## indekiwi

Grace, you made it - woo hoo!  I have to reciprocate and say that little James is scrumptious!!    You might want to check out the single bumps and babes thread as well - in particular I suspect you will be meeting Muddypaws and Miss Ruby very soon.  Poppet and I shall definitely be at the picnic - try keeping us away.  

A-Mx


----------



## Grace10704

Mmmm has just taken me 10 minutes to get back to this thread to find your reply!  I'm not very good on these computer thingies - do you think its a sign of my age!
Speak soon & love to Poppet


----------



## Teela

Hi to Grace10704 and acrazywench, welcome to the boards. I lurked for ages as well  

I have just gone through my first IUI which was a BFN unfortunatly, but remaining positive.

Good luck with your journeys

chat soon
Teela
x


----------



## Maya7

Hi and welcome to Crazywench and to Grace ...

Grace - you probably wont remember but we 'met' online before on DCN ... you gave me advice on chilling out prior to tx!!  Am at 39 +3 so need to remember all that advice again!!  welcome to FF ... suitcase 'stole' me from DCN just as Inde seems to have stolen you... you'll be great once you get the hang of it and everyone's so friendly..

Take care
Maya


----------



## upsydaisy

Hi Grace  
I think I recognise (not the right word as we haven't actually met!) you from the DCN. It's lovely to have someone else with a toddler around.  I'm sort of coming to the end of agonising about whether to try for a sibling.  Medically and financially it was never really an option and there's still a sadness there  . I'm also devoting myself to enjoying every second with my little miracle and boy do those seconds fly past.  Those milestones just seem to keep flashing by. One minute their sitting, then crawling, then walking, then running and jumping   
I'm also rapidly approaching the big 40. 

I spend a lot of time at my parents in Southampton so maybe one day I might be able to get as far as Bristol ! SMC in Brighton seem very thin on the ground.
Take care
Upsy (can't remember what I'm called on DCN, possibly Cally!)


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Crazywench and Grace, and welcome to the board 

Crazywench, good luck with your imminent IUI 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

welcome crazywench and grace   
xx


----------



## acrazywench

Thanks everyone for the welcome  Looking forward to reading you/chatting with you all. 

Cheers


----------



## some1

Hello and Welcome Angelmine, Fraggles, Crazywench and Grace !

Some1

x


----------



## Sima

Hello to Crazywench, Grace and to all of the other single ladies on here.  We are growing nicely now and it is so nice to see the number of little ones is growing too.


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi Everyone,

Im new to FF and have been given the singles link by Jovi so thought that i would say Hi to you all.  I will be venturing into your chats soon as i too am a single female undertaking fertility treatment.  In May 2009 i received my ET which resulted in a BFN result and i have re-attended clinc since and hoping to commence IUI in September.  Would love to hear from you and share emoitions and experiences.  My family and friends have been a huge support for me but would be lovely to receive support from you all going through something similar.

Love to you all   and hope to speak to you soon
BlueSkye
xx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hi Blueskye and welcome to the board. Sorry your last tx didn't work . There will be a few of us having tx in September, so you won't be on your own. Good luck with your journey 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## indekiwi

BlueSkye, and welcome to the singles boards!  All the ladies posting here are super friendly and very knowledgeable so hopefully you will get the support you need.  So sorry to read of the BFN from your first tx but hoping that your next cycle of tx brings you much joy in the form of a positive result.    

A-Mx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hi Bluesky,

Glad you made it over    FF is totally addictive    Everyone is lovely and helpful and you'll get plenty of support.  A few of us are starting in September so you won't be alone ...  counting down the days! 

Welcome to our little world  
Jovi x


----------



## lulumead

Hi Bluesky...welcome to our lovely group...look forward to hearing all about your journey   
  


xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hiya Everyone,

Thank you all for the very friendly hello and lovely words you have said, im looking forward to getting to know you all and so glad that some of you will be going through treatment at the same time as myself, that will be great support.  We can bring each other through every step.

Speak to you all soon, as soon as i work out the chat i will be joining you guys 

BlueSkye
xx


----------



## Grace10704

Hi All
Thanks for the welcome from everyone.  Good luck all you September girls


----------



## Betty-Boo

A big Helllllllllloooooooooooooooo to all the newbies!!
Welcome to the madness of the singles womens thread!

Big big hugs and lots of               for your journey x x


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Fraggles - Rose has said it all really. If you PCT are going to fund treatment, then worth sticking with the appt in Sept. If not, then you can call up local fertility clinics and get a private appt in the next couple of weeks - no need to wait for Sept and the PCT

I've had tx abroad and in the UK and I'd say again Rose has summed it up very nicely. You need to think about convenience, and your personal views on donor anonymity. Also, if you are starting with IUI, then you have to be able to drop everything to get to the clinic when you pick up your LH surge - IUI is very dependent on getting the timing right. So if you are planning tx abroad this may mean taking time off work at short notice and booking last minute flights etc. So can be quite tricky (although people do do it)
For IVF it's easier, but does mean taking around 10 days off to be at the clinic abroad...

Good luck!
Suitcase
x


----------



## AuntieSaz

Hello there, 

I've been lurking on these boards for quite a while (nearly a year) and thought the time was right to finally post...age 33, I made the decision to visit the LWC last October, hoping to go for donor IUI or to become an egg donor. However, I got some bad FSH tests back at Christmas, followed by a terrible AMH result (1.4) at Easter...we (me and the LWC) persevered, and following a cancelled round in June (the clinic put a hold on Donor treatment), and July (FSH was 1 point too high), I was finally able to go ahead (ICSI on Monday and ET yesterday) and am now on a 2ww. My test date is 2 September, and I would welcome any tips from the ladies on this board.  Sorry if this is too much information for this thread! despite lurking I'm not really sure how this forum business works ...  
All the best!  

Saz


----------



## RichmondLass

Saz! Welcome!  and congrats at being pregnant until proven otherwise!  You'll find a 2ww thread elsewhere.  Wel done at being so patient and perservering and lots of luck.  You'll get lots of good support and advice here.  I'm now eight and a half weeks up the duff and have found it a lot easier thanks to the lovely ladies on FF.
RLxx


----------



## AuntieSaz

Hi RL, thanks for your reply, and congratulations, that's brilliant! 

I'll venture into the 2ww thread, thanks again, 
all the best
Saz x


----------



## lulumead

hello saz...just said hi on the 2WW board.
xx


----------



## indekiwi

Welcome Saz, look forward to chatting with you!

A-Mx


----------



## bingbong

Welcome Saz, congrats on being pupo  

Bingbong x


----------



## lynne 5

Hi everyone,
Just jumping in after being directed here by aweeze ( thank you x) never know where to post as could belong to so many now ! I'm 46 had 3 x ivf with my own eggs two bfn and one chemical preg. Had my first round of donor egg at IM barcelona with my partners support, failed fresh cycle now newly pregnant with fet and partner left before my otd. Thought all was ok , IM didnt suggest bloods as they dont do this , so had it done privately. First one was 214, great, 2 days later only 245. IM said not to do any more and just go for a scan in 2 weeks. So so worried. Did a first response hpt today and instant line darker than the reference line. I'm very confused with all of this. I dont think I could face the stress of having more bloods. I feel fine, a bit achey and crampy which I've had all along, had a very late implantation bleed, just 3 days before test date so wondering if this could affect hcg levels. Also had two embies transferred and some one mentioned vanishing twin and the fact that this could cause numbers to rise slower. Sorry for the long post , all about me ! Hope to get to know you all and thank you.
Lynne xxx


----------



## madmisti

Welcome to all newbies  

Lynne -sorry I can't offer any helpful advice re HCG numbers but sounds like a horrible situation  .  I suppose you have to decide which is worse - having bloods and maybe finding out for sure one way or another ( surely the clinic where you're having bloods done can advise you what result means?) -or spend the next 2 weeks wondering and worrying until you can have US. Really hope that  either way it is good news     So sorry about your partner walking out like that too - but maybe better now than when a child is on the scene. Take care  

M xx


----------



## RichmondLass

Lynne dreadfully sorry to hear of your partner - how unbelievable.  Just wanted to respond as I also went to IM.  I didn't have bloods - but did have some spotting just after testing and was assured it was nothing to worry about.  I had to embies put in but only one has remained. 

Can you ask the clinic where you had the blood test for more advice? 

otherwise I know it's agony but you might just want to take their advice and wait for the scan.

Do Pm me if you want to chat.

RLxx


----------



## lynne 5

Hi RL,
Yes was a bit of a shock about my partner, we had been together 4 years. Still reeling to be honest. Its been a very tough time. I dont think I will have more bloods done, too expensive and too stressful. I thought I might use a couple of hpt and see if the line stays dark. Did you feel constantly that af was on its way. I feel a bit full and achey and now and again the odd sharp pain. Trying to look after myself and then stressing that I'm doing all the wrong things ! How are you feeling and how many weeks are you ? You must be so excited ! I keep reading that these beta numbers are not an exact science and weird things can happen with them , am trying to stay positive !
Lynne xxxx


----------



## RichmondLass

Hi Lynne  yes I did feel exactly like that - PMT type symptoms.  You'll see from my ticker I'm now 9 weeks.  

If it's 14 days since ET than I would do a HPT for sure.  If not, I'd put up with your 2ww so you can be sure you're getting an accurate result.

Re the partner situation - awful as it is it may be some comfort to you that I've read several similar stories in the last coupel of months.  You're not alone.  You'll find some other ladies on here who have split up at the last minute or after Tx.

You need to focus on the pregnancy now.  

Best wishes to you Lynne
RLxx


----------



## lynne 5

Hi RL,
I'm past my 2ww, tested positive on 17 august after 3dt on 3rd of August, bloods were last week and did another hpt today and still a very strong dark line. Just dont know what to make of it all. 6 week scan on 2nd of sept. So glad everything is going well for you. I'm not phased by going it alone, just want this to stick ! What were your levels like when you had the previous low rising numbers ?
Lynne xxx


----------



## Lou-Ann

Hello and welcome to all newbies!!  

Saz, congratulations on being PUPO 

Lynne, congratulations! Hope you have a healthy and happy pregnancy. Sorry to hear about your partner 

Lou-Ann x


----------



## lulumead

hello Lynne and welcome. Congrats on your pregnancy and   for your split. As RL says, time to focus on your pregnancy and enjoy it as much as you can.
 
xx


----------



## mrben

Hello to everyone out there, just wanted to share my story after reading some of yours! 

I am interested to hear if anyone out there has been able to access funding for fertility treatment on the NHS, as a single woman. 

I have recently become single after 3years with my partner, we had been trying ttc for 2 years. I have had tests carried out which point towards unexplained infertility, however, my partner was always dragging his heels when it came down to investigating his fertility. I decided it may be better to go it alone rather than trying to drag him kicking and screaming for a sperm test! I am now 38.

Lol Mr Ben


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi there Mr Ben, welcome to FF i am failry new to FF ive only been on here for a month or so now and still trying to grasp everything.  Everyone is really lovely and supportive.  Sorry to hear about you and your partner but you have to do whats right for you  

I am a single girl having treatment via the IVF Wales Clinc, i have been going to clinc for the last 2 years and had my first treatment of ICIS in May 2009 but unfortunatly was unsuccessful and this was funded via the NHS.  I went back to clinc last tuesday and was delighted to find out that my appeal for further funding had been agreed for a further 2 treatments of ICSI (as you can imagine i was delghted).  My consultant said that she had never seen this before and is very very rare and i am one lucky person however i have only been granted this as i am a unique case and other treatments were not viable.  Im starting my next ICSI cycle in October with ET 9th November as long as everything goes to plan.

Sorry to have rambled i hope this helps.

BlueSkye
xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi Lynne,

Just wanted to say hi and congratulations on your positive result  

Sorry to hear about you and your partner but keep thinking lots of postive thoughts for you and the little one. 

Love and Hugs

BlueSkye
xx


----------



## mrben

Thanks for your post bluesky, that is certainly encouraging news. I have an appointment at the Hewitt Centre, Liverpool in September. Good luck with your further treatment plan.
Mrben x


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Hello and welcome to the new ladies!

Wishing you all lots of luck
Jovi x


----------



## RichmondLass

Hi Lynne I don't know what you mean by levels and low rising numbers - it's not language I understand I'm afraid.  I'll kee my fingers crossed for you and wish you the best until your scan!Good luck!
RLxx


----------



## lynne 5

Thanks RL, will keep you posted and  

Hi mr Ben, sorry to hear about your partner, the same has just happened to me but I'm trying to stay focused on being pregnant, has left me feeling very vulnerable though, how are you doing with it all ?
Thank you to Blueskye, Lulumead and Lou-anne for the lovely welcome.
Lynne xxx


----------



## ♥Jovial♥

Blueskye great news you got your funding     wishing you all the luck in the world  

Mrben, my funding was refused on the grounds of being single - I would probably need treatment if I had a partner as only have one tube and so far 3 rounds of blood tests have shown I haven't ovulated    Think it's unheard of in England!  Hope it's better news for you


----------



## indekiwi

Just popping in to wish our newbies a very warm welcome, and hope to see you posting in some of the other single women's threads shortly.  

A-Mx


----------



## mrben

Thanks for the welcome, support and sharing of information in this fertility minefield.
I am feeling empowered by my decision(was there a choice)? to go it alone, although I expect major wobbles along the way. I just wished I hadn't waited so long ...
mrben


----------



## Damelottie

Welcome to our new gals


----------



## lulumead

hello mrben...welcome.xx


----------



## Mazerooni

Hi there, everyone,

I am a total newbie here, still trying to work out what my options are, how to go about it and what it all involves.  I have soooo many questions and don't really know where to start.  I am 38, (39 in October) and realise I need to get on with this if its what I want to do.

First I want to ask if single women are entitled to IVF on the NHS.  I can see BlueSkye has had funding - congrats.  I went to my doctor and he didn't really know, said he'd have to ring IVF Wales to find out.  I have to go back to him to find out what his response is - he was a bit drippy to be honest.

The other thing I want to ask is about how people cope with the whole process - it seems complicated and time consuming - do you all manage with work, and do you have to take time off?

I'm sorry if I sound simple, I'm just trying to work everything out at the mo

MC


----------



## suitcase of dreams

Hello MC and welcome  

You've come to the right place for information and support  

Re funding - the only person we have come across to get funding is Blueskye..and as you are also in Wales you may be lucky. However, I think you would need to have some sort of underlying condition/difficulty conceiving to get your tx funded....so first you will need to get some initial tests and investigations done.

Basic blood tests to check hormone levels can be done by your GP. You need FSH/LH tested on day 3-5 of your cycle first of all as an indication of your fertility levels. You're looking for an FSH under 10....
You can also get AMH tested which indicates ovarian reserve (ie how many eggs you have left). There is, however, no test for egg quality...for that you just have to wait and see how you respond to tx (= treatment...)

First step is usually IUI - interuterine insemination....where the sperm is inserted via a catheter at the right time of the month (ie when you are ovulating). This can be natural - you take no drugs and simply test your urine daily around days 10-16 of your cycle to look for your LH surge - when you pick this up you are ready to be inseminated. You can also do medicated insemination - where you take low levels of fertility drugs and are monitored via scans etc to check how your follicles are developing and when you are ready for the insemination.
With IUI you probably don't need to take all that much actual time off work, but you do need to be able to be flexible and take time at short notice....if you pick up the surge, you need to be able to get to the clinic at the right time. 

Depending on age, test results, finances etc, you may choose to move quickly, or even straight to IVF. Very briefly this involves a scan on day 2 of your cycle. Then injections for about 10-12 days with a couple of scans along the way to check follicle growth. Then around day 12-14 you will have egg collection - usually under sedation or general anaesthetic and prob needing a day off work. 3-5 days later the embryos will be put back - no need to take the day off for that, just the time it takes to get to the clinic and have them popped back in (a bit like the insemination - all over and done with in 10-15 mins usually...)

So, bottom line, you do need to take some time off work although not usually long periods in one go - just the odd half day here and there for scans etc. It's the timing which can be tricky and the need to be able to get to the clinic at short notice. If your job is not at all flexible this may be a challenge. 

Some of us here have told our companies what we are doing, others, including me, have not. I am lucky in that my job is pretty flexible and as long as I get the work done then that's usually fine. On the one occasion egg collection clashed with a big meeting, I'm afraid I told a little white lie and invented a migraine...after all, having a baby is more important to me that a meeting...

Hope this helps, has been a very brief intro - feel free to ask more questions if there is anything we can help with. The women here have been my support and lifeline throughout all this, couldn't have done it without them. I'm sure you'll find the same level of advice and support too 

Suitcase
x


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi MC and welcome to FF you have come to the right place.  Im failry new to the site and everyone has been really helpful, supportive and answers questions.

My clinc is IVF Wales and have been going there for 2 years now and they have been fantstic.  I went to my doctor and she refered me through to the clinc by writing a letter and then i was called to see the consultant to discuss my options.  On the NHS i was entitled to one IVF/ICSI cycle and 3 IUI treatemts but they said that was because i was a unique case so i guess not all people are lucky enough to get funding.  Ive had my first ICSI treatment and was unsuccessful and have appealed and was successful and starting again now in October.  So it the clinc sa no to NHS treatment you could always a appeal.  Any other questions please ask.

People respond differently to coping with the whole process it is hard but a good family and friends support network sometimes helps, mine have been amazing.  Work have been really good with me luckily i am a shift worker so most of my appointments i can arrange around when i am off.  When i had my eggs collected and then transfered i took a month off of work to give it the best chance but as my treatment didnt work i needed the time to accept it etc.  Again everyone seems to be different and depending on their circumstances some dont need much time off at all plus all depends on what treatment too.  Hope that makes sense.

If your not happy with your doctor i would go back and see someone else who you are confident with or give the clinc a ring.

Hope you are doing ok

xx


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Fab reply Suitcase, Hope you are ok xx


----------



## lulumead

hello mazerooni, welcome.xx


----------



## Mazerooni

BlueSkye and Suitcase - thanks so much - certainly answered more than a few questions I didn't even get round to asking!!  Thank you, such a clear description of it all.

Its so unfair single women dont get this on the NHS - I have a friend who is in a lesbian relationship who has had a little girl on the NHS.  I'm really pleased for her and her partner, but cant see why I cant have the same opportunity.  I hope I can get funding, otherwise my chances of doing this are going to be so limited due to the financial costs.  Well we'll see.

Thanks again for the fab welcome and the great information.  I'll give you an update when I see my doctor to find out what my options are.

MC


----------



## BlueSkye1983

Hi MC,

Yeah funding is quite restricted but if you are accepted on the NHS you only get a certain amount of treatments.  In England on NHS you are entitles to 2 or 3 IVF cycles but Wales you only get one and there is a petition to get this changed for Wales.

If you have any further questions or just want to chat we hear.  

Fingers crossed that the doctors appointment goes well and yeah keep us posted on what the doctor says.

BlueSkye

xx


----------



## blueytoo

Mazerooni said:


> Its so unfair single women dont get this on the NHS - I have a friend who is in a lesbian relationship who has had a little girl on the NHS. I'm really pleased for her and her partner, but cant see why I cant have the same opportunity. I hope I can get funding, otherwise my chances of doing this are going to be so limited due to the financial costs. Well we'll see.


It's very unusual for a lesbian to get funding for IVF/ICSI, I don't think I've ever heard of that before - they must have appealed and won and it must be a first. I know a tiny handful of my lesbian friends that have had IUI on the NHS but they all had infertility issues. I'm a lesbian as a well as a single woman and I wasn't able to get anything on the NHS despite being incredibly infertile with more than one complex issue.

As far as I am concerned I believe that anybody who is infertile whether they are single or not, or straight or not should be entitled to some tx on the NHS. However, I don't believe that anybody that does not actually have infertility issues should be allowed tx on the NHS because there are plenty of other avenues available to them.

It's about time the NHS and government shook things up a bit and realised that infertility is a disease and we all deserve treatment. Not just those whom are married and straight.


----------



## RichmondLass

But Feisty, how do we know if we are infertile if we are single or lesbians ie not having the opportunity to test our fertility?  And does age count as infertile?

RLx


----------



## blueytoo

RichmondLass said:


> But Feisty, how do we know if we are infertile if we are single or lesbians ie not having the opportunity to test our fertility? And does age count as infertile?
> 
> RLx


Well I'm single and a lesbian and I know I'm infertile. I have endometriosis which I was diagnosed with at 18 and have also had further testing to show I have multiple other infertility issues.

If you're not infertile then you can have inseminations, either at home if you wish or at a clinic. You don't need IVF if you're a fertile single or lesbian woman do you? You might want it but you don't need it.

The NHS is there to treat disease etc and that is what it should do regardless of marital status or sexual preference.


----------



## Betty-Boo

Feisty - when are you in czech?? we might be there the same time....
I must admit when I first went down this route - never thought my fertiity would be non existant... would love the nhs to help, but alas..

Big hugs mini x x


----------



## blueytoo

mini minx said:


> Feisty - when are you in czech?? we might be there the same time....
> I must admit when I first went down this route - never thought my fertiity would be non existant... would love the nhs to help, but alas..
> 
> Big hugs mini x x


Hey Mini

I arrive 17th Jan and fly back 26th Jan. What about you?

Claire xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

I arrive on 25th - fly back on 27th.... we'll have to do Dinner!!!
I'm staying in the grand.
There's a repro thread for jan 2010 that I started on the Czech forum.  Is a bit quiet on there at the mo... hopefully it'll pick up soon.  More than welcome to join us! 
     that Jan will be the lucky month for us!
Take care mini x x


----------



## blueytoo

mini minx said:


> I arrive on 25th - fly back on 27th.... we'll have to do Dinner!!!
> I'm staying in the grand.
> There's a repro thread for jan 2010 that I started on the Czech forum. Is a bit quiet on there at the mo... hopefully it'll pick up soon. More than welcome to join us!
> that Jan will be the lucky month for us!
> Take care mini x x


I did join the Jan 2010 thread too and yes we should meet up. I will have my DS with me, hope that's ok? I won't be offended if its not ok. We're also staying at the Grand.

Claire xx


----------



## Betty-Boo

my mind's gone to mush already - and that's without hormones!!! Of course its ok to have your DS there too - will be great to meet him!
Looking forward to it honey x x


----------



## RichmondLass

Feistyblue said:


> Well I'm single and a lesbian and I know I'm infertile. I have endometriosis which I was diagnosed with at 18 and have also had further testing to show I have multiple other infertility issues.
> 
> If you're not infertile then you can have inseminations, either at home if you wish or at a clinic. You don't need IVF if you're a fertile single or lesbian woman do you? You might want it but you don't need it.
> 
> The NHS is there to treat disease etc and that is what it should do regardless of marital status or sexual preference.


Well Feisty you certainly have strong views - I can see why you call yoruself Feisty! - and I think we'll have to disagree on that one.

You were very lucky to have your endometriosis diagnosed at 18. I have mine removed at 43. I didn't investigate my fertility until I was 42 and by then it was probably too late. No disease particularly that I know of preventing me conceiving - just my age. I'm not arguing on my behalf - I don't mind not having treatment on the NHS because I can afford not to.

But I'm sure there are thousands of women who can't afford it so remain childless.

My point about being single or a lesbian is that frequently women don't know they are infertile until they've started to think about having a child - often later in life. Or if they've tried to conceive they may keep on trying for years not knowing they have any problems.

We don;t have a culture in this country of having your fertility checked out. There are only certain issues you can have investigated to look into your fertility. Many women have unexplained infertility.

I've no idea if I may have had any fertility issues or not at an earlier age.

In any case, I don't think you can limit treatment purely to those women who have fertility 'diseases'.

RLx


----------



## blueytoo

RichmondLass said:


> Feistyblue said:
> 
> 
> 
> Well I'm single and a lesbian and I know I'm infertile. I have endometriosis which I was diagnosed with at 18 and have also had further testing to show I have multiple other infertility issues.
> 
> If you're not infertile then you can have inseminations, either at home if you wish or at a clinic. You don't need IVF if you're a fertile single or lesbian woman do you? You might want it but you don't need it.
> 
> The NHS is there to treat disease etc and that is what it should do regardless of marital status or sexual preference.
> 
> 
> 
> Well Feisty you certainly have strong views - I can see why you call yoruself Feisty! - and I think we'll have to disagree on that one.
> 
> You were very lucky to have your endometriosis diagnosed at 18. I have mine removed at 43. I didn't investigate my fertility until I was 42 and by then it was probably too late. No disease particularly that I know of preventing me conceiving - just my age. I'm not arguing on my behalf - I don't mind not having treatment on the NHS because I can afford not to.
> 
> But I'm sure there are thousands of women who can't afford it so remain childless.
> 
> My point about being single or a lesbian is that frequently women don't know they are infertile until they've started to think about having a child - often later in life. Or if they've tried to conceive they may keep on trying for years not knowing they have any problems.
> 
> We don;t have a culture in this country of having your fertility checked out. There are only certain issues you can have investigated to look into your fertility. Many women have unexplained infertility.
> 
> I've no idea if I may have had any fertility issues or not at an earlier age.
> 
> In any case, I don't think you can limit treatment purely to those women who have fertility 'diseases'.
> 
> RLx
Click to expand...

I don't consider myself lucky to have been diagnosed at 18. My periods started when I was 10 and have caused me living hell every single month for the last 24 years. I read an article in one of my mother's magazines when I was 13 and realised that I had endo. So I grew up knowing I may never have the children I desperately wanted. I've had holidays completely ruined by endo, suffered humiliation about it at school and college, even now I can't leave the house for the first few days of my period. I was put on the BCP and other meds at age 12 to try and control my pain and periods.

My mum finally got fed up of me moaning every month and took me to see her gynae when I was 18 and he guessed straight away what it was and confirmed it with a lap and laser surgery. My mother only did what any decent parent would and I don't consider that lucky either.

My other serious multiple infertility issues were only diagnosed in the last few years and I suspect more will be diagnosed in a month or two when I have yet more testing.

My point was, why should the NHS pay for anybody whom doesn't have a disease? That isn't restricted to just fertility treatment either IMO, it extends to everything. I find it hard to believe that anybody can seriously think the NHS and the taxpayer should have to foot the bill for anything that isn't a disease. I quite fancy having a tummy tuck but I certainly would never dream of asking the NHS to pay the bill even though there is evidence that NKC problems which are directly linked with endo mean that your ovaries make pseudo estrogen which is basically fat and that settles around your tummy!


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## indekiwi

Much as I would never dream of heading into a controversial debate...    

I only discovered (as a single, "straight" woman) that I was infertile (few or no eggs left) at the age of 41 - I had been trying for a sibling for the previous 20 months before having the AMH test (paid for privately).  As a society, I wish people were far more aware of some of the "silent" things that happen to their bodies without them ever knowing about them - and therefore more assertive at getting themselves checked in terms of preventative health screening.  However, it is often difficult for a single woman to have these simple tests done on the NHS without having a history of trying to conceive with a male partner......hmmnn.   At least I too knew about my endo and had it zapped finally when I was 36 - paid for by private insurance, not the NHS.  Sadly, it never occurred to me that my fertility was compromised until too late - and until I had spent a further £15k or so on treatment that in hindsight was almost certainly never going to work.  

Also, I wonder what everyone thinks about hetero couples where male factor is the issue.  Since the woman concerned could conceive, presumably without a problem, should she be treated on the NHS?  Sorry - I am being deliberately provocative here - but as far as I am aware (and I stand to be corrected - so line up folks!  ) a lady in a relationship with a man who has fertility issues would be treated on the NHS despite not being affected by any medical issue herself, while a single woman without any medical issue wouldn't get past a telephone call declining to treat her, regardless of the NICE guidelines.  

Interested in others' views on these points.

A-Mx


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## blueytoo

My endo was treated and zapped twice and also through private health insurance not NHS. The thing with endo is that despite having it zapped it always comes back, once you have endo, you have it for life. I only found that out two years ago and was a bit   Women with endo that have gone on to have full hysterectomys have been found with endo growing elsewhere in their bodies afterwards. You just can't get rid of the stuff it seems  

I also wish people were more aware of the 'silent' issues, both fertility and non-fertility related. But I see that as a personal development thing, we are responsible for ourselves and finding out new information and the information is put out there but so many people don't look for it.

As for the hetero male infertility issue, AFAIK they would be entitled to treatment on the NHS if they are in a funded area. I just checked out a random County's criteria and it seems that it doesn't matter whether the infertility is on the male or females side. I think that is fair as clearly one half of the couple is infertile which is a medical condition and should therefore be treated.


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