# What to tell friends and family about ttc



## babylemonade (Feb 24, 2010)

Hi ladies
My dp and I are ttc using a known donor. He is a good friend of ours and known to some of my friends. My friends know we are ttc and I've told them we are using an anonymous donor but have said we don't want to discuss the details as I'm writing a journal about it and I would like our future child to be the first person to know about how they were conceived.
My concern is a) I hate not to be truthful and b) what if our child looks like our friend and it's obvious and c) secrets are not good and we would like to be open and natural about it with our child and let them know as soon as they start asking questions about it.
I wondered what other people have done. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
X


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I started off saying the same thing about my KD that I was using clinic anon sperm, as we also worked together and have same friends, he also didn't want people to know only us and the child () - but then he told him mum and family, his mum then started to send me good luck charms before every cycle although we never discuss it.

So I haven't said outright he is my KD- he also has a partner  who is so supportive to me and has been there for more appts/scan with me than my KD who usually turns up on the day he is needed for the deed and joint appts- and the 3 of us always go to the clinic here/spain etc together so I think friends know it is one of them.


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## evelet (Sep 27, 2005)

We didn't use a known donor so I have no personal perspective on this but I think its really really important fo ryour child to be as open and straightforward about how he/she was conceived as possible. you need to show your child that you are proud of the choices that you made and that you feel completely 'right' about it.


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## floralou (Jul 21, 2010)

Eeeek we haven't got to this stage yet really. 

OH mentioned it to her Dad in passing last year, and he responded with something along the lines of that we would end up losers, or something to that effect - hasn't been mentioned again!!
She did tell one of her Aunts though...who took it quite well - just came straight out and said that we were going to start TTC soon, with a known donor who is our friend.

I think it'll be more awkward telling my Mum, because she doesn't tend to take things well, and I have NO idea how to even bring the subject up :S


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