# Would this end your friendship?



## chucky egg 4 (Oct 20, 2006)

This is the story, my friend got married last week and I was invited I accepted without DH because our child has ASD and will not be without both of us for long periods.  Unfortunately a few days before the wedding he got sick and when he is sick only I will do and he gets more distressed if I'm not there.  DH cannot wipe his nose or anything only me.  I let the bride to be know the day before that I might not make it.  The next day he was very unwell and on top of that he'd given it to me.  I let her know and apologised.

I text another friend to say I couldn't make it an then I got a text from a different 'friend' saying - 

'I hope you've apologised to the bride for letting her down.  Not nice.'      

This told me she didn't believe me and made me really upset as I was very very sad not be going.  I did not text her back because I did not want to lower myself to her level and waste even 10p on her.  I don't feel I can ever go back to being friends after that and have deleted her details from my phone.  Do you think I am over reacting or right to feel upset?

Thanks follow FF's I know I get sense here.   

Chucky


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## SuziT (Aug 18, 2007)

Hi

Im afraid I would feel exactly the same as you, children come first, especially sick ones.

I would wait and see if she realises what she has done and comes back to apologise.

I hope your wee man is feeling better now  

Take care

Nickys


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

If the bride has accepted the reason for your absence I really don't see what it has to do with your other friend.  I agree with Suzi I would wait and see if she apologies

Children have to come first    Hope you and your little boy are better now   

Shelley x


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Hi Chucky

First, you have done nothing wrong, your child comes first, it was a shame that you couldn’t make the wedding, but that was the only option, especially when you have a sick child with special needs and unwell yourself.  

I agree with the other ladies here, just wait for this other “friend” to come to you to apologise for the text.  It was definitely uncalled for.  If she doesn’t believe you then she isn’t much of a friend, and I am not sure what type of friend would send such a text anyway.  

You have done the right thing not lowering yourself to that level.  

Sending you and your little boy lots of get well hugs

Sue


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## Kiah (Mar 12, 2006)

What a stupid text to send someone.  You were invited as a guest not a major person in the actual ceremony such as head bridesmaid, your LO was sick and so even if you had been playing a big role in the ceremony then tough, LO comes first   and on the day YOU yourself was sick!  I'm pretty sure the bride would rather that you stayed away and didn't pass it on to her to "enjoy" on her honeymoon.  What a stupid, stupid thing to say.  I'd just ignore it and your 'friend" and see what she odes the next time you see her in passing.


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## BABY2 (Nov 28, 2007)

what a cheek!  Unfortunately I am not the kind of person to let it go and would have sent something nasty back to her ..but I'm evil like that  , however; I do think you did the right thing by ignoring her  none of her business anyway!

hope you and your son are feeling better


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## chucky egg 4 (Oct 20, 2006)

Thank you all for your replies and good advise.  I thought perhaps I was overeacting but you've all clarified it for me.

Thanks again xx


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## C0nfused (Apr 13, 2007)

I can understand why it upset you but it wasnt the bride that sent that message, so she may not even know that it had been sent and she will be wondering why contact has completely stopped with no explaination. I think its highly likely that she doesnt know about it, and didnt say anything of the sort to someone else. I mean unless you were bridesmaid, mother of bride or the vicar, a guest not turning up is not going to let the bride down! 

I would contact her and ask her about it, nicely, and if you get a funny response back then stop the friendship, but she will probably be as upset about it as you are. 

Just my opinion anyway.

Jen x


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## MrsMaguire (May 25, 2009)

I think that is really really harsh. 

In my opinion she can't have been that good a friend if she wouldn't accept the circumstances. 

I had a convalidation of vows a couple of weeks ago, some people didn't show up who made a fuss about being invited, for us we knew that things came up and happened, you can't help the circumstances you're in at the time. 

I really hope it resolves itself, but if it doesn't she wasn't really worth it in the first place. 

xx


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

I don't think its the Bride that had the problem Mrs M it is another friend of both the bride and Chucky egg xx


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