# Help, mummy in tears



## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Please can someone help, I am sitting here in tears  . My lo is 15 months nearly and for the last two days has done nothing by but cry, be cranky and totally clinging.  
He is normally such a happy little chap but even the most silly thing and he will cry. 
If he trips over his feet he crys, if he can't get a toy to go right he crys, if he can't see me he crys. If he is hungry he crys. Ihave heard of the wonder years and he is 64 weeks which they say is one of them but how do I cope with it. Any advise for a tearful mummy.


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## Roygbiv (Feb 23, 2013)

Firstly. Take this hug. 
I know it doesn't help. 
But it can just diffuse the situation for a minute. 
I do think they all have phases. 
I've never heard of the wonder years! 
But every child, at particular ages, have these moments. 
While I know it's not easy for you, you have to remember they get so frustrated. 
They can't explain themselves properly. 
Crying is all they've got. 
I know you wanted advice. But I don't actually have any. 
Just want you to know they all go through it. 
And we all go through that reaction you're having. 
Just don't, at the end of the day, hold it against yourself. 
He will be completely over it soon. 
I just wanted to ... I don't know. I can't help. 
Just wanted to say something. Because I felt sad for you.


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

sounds hard
Maybe he's coming down with something? They can often be grumpy for a few days before illness appears x

Hope things improve, as with every stage our Los go through - this too shall pass


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## Roygbiv (Feb 23, 2013)

Keep talking to him through one of his meltdowns. 
Ask "[insert name], what happened?". Or if you saw what happened use it in your question "did that silly toy fall down?". And keep a calm, friendly voice. And if he still screams just keep asking "[insert name], did you hear me? Mummy wants to help. Shall I move it here (or whatever it is)?". And distractions always work good at that age "oh, let's do this instead". Picking up something else. Maybe for the next few days if he's like this you'll have to be more 'to attention', not getting to do anything else. But it won't last. 
And we all need a little cry sometimes. 
I think it's important for them to realise it's not the end of the world. And the way they realise this is by you not feeling it's the end of the world. And carrying on as if it's not bothering you. Although of course it is.


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Have you had any changes to routine or stress recently? Our LO did that too for about 3wks solid and turned out it was teeth coming through. The last few days he's been awful and last night hada fever along with total hysterics 10.30pm-1am, 3-5am and 6-7am. He had been complaining about his ear hurting for over a week but i assumed it was teething related (currently cutting back molars) but after such a night he went down for his normal 1-2hr nap, slept 3.5hrs and came downstairs with a burst eardrum and ultimately a much happier child.
Hindsight is ever perfect but depending on your personality, I'd probably get out the house and meet with a friend cause at least they can hug you through the screaming. x


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Thanks guys, no changes at all everything is the same. The only issue was yesterday he had a fever which I took him to the dr as it was very high. They said he has a virus and will get over it in time. He is chewing his dummy like mad so I do wonder is his 'fangs' are coming. His fever has gone that's back to normal thankfully. I am going to take your advise and talking/asking him what's wrong. Also we are going to meet my sister tomorrow. I gave him his bath earlier and he was happy as could be, just like before. He is now throwing his bricks across the room as he can't fit them in another toy. Thanks guys I was just about to lock myself in the bathroom and wait till dh got home. Xx


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

fangs were horrible! We had 3mths of horribleness with frequent fevers and the really frustrating bit is that most of it is when the teeth are rearranging themselves under the gumline so no obvious cause as to why until right at the end when they finally come through. Hugs -screaming children are not fun and the sound can drive you nuts!


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## Bunny Face (Jan 20, 2008)

Hi Macgyver, 

I posted recently because I felt as though my LO had changed from a happy, loving little baby to a stroppy, difficult and tantrumming toddler.  I wondered what happened too! 

It turned out to be her canines coming through (they took about 2 months) and she seemed to completely change during that time.  She also had occasional fever, ear and throat infections and croupe during this which I think are teething related too. 

She has improved over the last couple of weeks, but every time her teeth move she becomes irritable again.  I can't offer any advice other than get through it any way you can...chocolate, wine, long baths, a nice book in the evenings and remember that it will pass.

My DH was ready to send me off to the drs as I burst into tears after an extremely difficult day so I do understand how you feel. 

It's difficult being a Mummy sometimes isn't it, which is hard to admit after years of wanting to be one!!


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## Ticky (Feb 21, 2012)

Macgyver - my 15 month old is exclactly the same! Today he couldn't get a spatula into a roll of clingfilm so cried, he didn't like his dressing gown so cried, I took his slippers off, he cried. Apparently it's a phase (that's the only explanation I ever hear) but I think it's linked to teething. He's drooling like mad and like your lo constantly chewing. 

I have cried more in this past month than I ever have in the past 2 years. Ride it out Hun, that's the only answer x


P.s I know I'm not an adoptive mummy but couldn't help posting, hope that's ok.


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Not got any motherly advice as not quite there yet but wanted to send some hugs xx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Every time this happens with either of mine (18 and 7 months) a bloody tooth appears before long. Honestly teeth have a lot to answer for! My 7 month old was an utter horror, a tooth appeared...same scenario a week later, second tooth appeared...

It doesn't help when it's happening though and only two weeks ago I cried my eyes out as it seemed all DS did was scream over every little thing. They were in bed and I had a meltdown on DH of epic proportions   Snot flying, hugging a cushion, wailing....and that was me, not the kids!

When my daughter gets this way I give her down time and put on one of her DVDs once we've established everything else is causing her to cry! It moves things on I find and before long she's bringing me books and wanting to play. It doesn't hurt to slip away for a few minutes during a DVD either if you aren't coping any longer and give yourself down time so that you don't end up in a pickle.

Sending you hugs mac! X


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

Mac, as you know my DD is a similar age. I agree with everyone's comments, and would also say that frustration over not being able to communicate is a big issue at this age too. My DD is doing really well with her speech, but when she just goes "uuggghhh" (or screams!) and points and I ask her calmly (most of the time   ) what she would like or what is wrong - much like Roygbiv suggested.


Peacelily xx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Mac I know how you feel. Our little man is 16 months. About three weeks ago he woke a complete 'grumpisaurus' and has only looked back for very brief periods of time - usually when the calpol has kicked in! Like your little one everything seemed to set him off including:
a) if you looked at him
B) if you didnt look at him
C) if you picked him up
D) if you didnt pick him up
And e ) if you had the audacity to breath....... i feel your pain
Low and behold I had a good feel today - his canines have burst through, his back molars are bubbling nicely and despite signing he is getting increasingly frustrated when trying to communicate.
A virus can also make you feel utterly poop and there are some awful ones around at the mo.
Take care and be kind to yourself xx


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Thank you for all you advise guys    What would I do without you all (loose my mind most prob) I have to say he has been better today (yay) we have only had 6 episodes of him crying and being totally clingy. I managed to cut the others off before they started by distraction and on one occasion I ignored him and he stopped 30 seconds later. As you mentioned flash I think it is also a communication issue. A few of the outbursts today where that he wanted something to eat, didn't want something to eat etc. but he was unable to tell me.  He also has a bad cough today and a streaming nose, so I guess he is feeling under the weather too.  Roygbiv, thanks I have also started to do as you said, i may not get the answer back normally a scream as you said peace Lilly, but it is help me to stay calm. Tricky, roygbiv, flash, peacelilly, mummyelf, trinajc, bunny face, arrows, crazysoaniel    Thank you at least now I know it's not me and hopefully it will pass xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Ticky (Feb 21, 2012)

Glad to hear he's been a bit better today macgyver. My lo's back teeth broke through today so it looks like all his whinging hasn't been for nothing x


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Thanks everyone, ticky glad to hear your lo teeth have cut through.  My lo was very ill yesterday, coughing and had another fever, he also didn't sleep all night.  But today he is bright as a buttons back to his normal cheery self. He still has a slight cough and streaming nose but he is full of giggles and apart from an hour when he woke he has been an angel. Mummy feels so much better (tired, but better) xx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Rest and sleep are the best medicine...for both babas and mummies xxx


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