# please help!



## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Hello everyone...
Am feeling a bit down tonight  
Since we made our decision to definitely adopt and not go through tx we have both been on a bit of a high, with excitement and feeling as though there's a light at the end of the tunnel again. 
We are waiting to recieve our prelimainary form through the post to begin registration, and i think it disappointed me more than i realised this morning when the postie didnt deliver anything (i'm not very patient!! am gonna have to learn.....!)
We know that the chances of adopting a young baby in this country are very slim, and are 90% sure that we still want to adopt here anyway, as we would love 2 siblings aged between 0 and 4. However, before we make the definite decision we wanted to learn a little more about adopting from the USA, where we understand you can be chosen by the birth parents/mother and even be present at the birth. But now my pooter is playing up and I am struggling to find any useful info on the web. 
So please can anyone help or point me in the right direction??
Thanks for listening 
Louxxxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Sorry can't help but noticed no one had replied to you.  Just wanted to say hugs to you for feeling down as we have all been there.

All the best


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## Milktray (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi Lou

sorry you are feeling down - I totally understand!

Being patient is definitely NOT one of my virtues and we are having to wait 1 year before we can even get on the prep course!!

Regards adopting from America I did try a search on the internet but I couldn't come up with anything. Maybe it might be an idea to register on an American adoption forum and ask them the question?

Good luck and keep strong

T x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Lou

It's really horrible when you feel so down & you think you can't get out of that dark tunnel, believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel & you will reach it, I've been there, done it & living proof that you will get what you deserve in life, please don't give up & don't feel down.

Hopefully your computer is a bit better & you now have access to the site that you wish to visit.

We have friends in the USA who adopted, they did permanency planning as the adoption process in the USA is expensive & have long lists!, I'm sorry that's not what you most probably want to hear but it's the truth.

There is links on this board about adopting form overseas just do a search for adoption on overseas & it should come up for you.

If you can be patient, I know easier said than done, then stick with this country, read the messages from people who have adopted & you'll see a lot have adopted young children, some even babies, I was one of them.

Good luck, hoping you are feeling better,
Love
Andrea
xx


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## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Thanks for your messages,
DH and I have discussed it more and we do want to adopt from within this country. I think I just wanted to explore all the options and make sure that we chose the right one. I know we have now though, and although I still haven't heard from the adoption agency I replied to as of yet, I'm going to give them a call next week.
Thnks again
Lou W xx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Lou

Welcome and Good luck with your journey.  I am sure you will hear something from them soon.

Karen x


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## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Thank you Karen - and you were absolutley right - I have heard from them!  
Our Social Worker (wow we actually have one now!) rang this morning, she sounded lovely on the 'phone and has arranged to come and meet us a week tomorrow. She said she will bring a 20 minute video with her for us to watch, and that we can have a proper chat about any questions we may have. Am so happy to finally have a date to look forward to now, even if it is just the beginning! 
So, I was just wondering - can anyone give us a rough idea of what the visit will entail? Is there anything in particular we should prepare or any important questions to ask that we may not have thought of? And is it normal to feel nervous even though it's just the first meeting?!!!!  
Thanks everyone
Lou W xxxxxxx


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## lounea (Jun 12, 2005)

Hiya Lou,

read your mail and just wondered where abouts in the country you are from?  I am glad you have decided to adopt from this country as there are so many children in need of good homes and deserve a loving family.  There are also more young children than you think in need of new mums and dads  although older children are equally as adorable      We are considering adoption as well but need to be sure before starting the process.  

good luck and  hope you rmeeting with your sw goes well xxx lou


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## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Hello Lounea  
We are in the South West - Bristol. We too think older children are adorable, but because of our age we would probably not be allowed to adopt children over the age of 5 as we were told that they like to place the children in as realistic a family setting as possible, so for example if we were to adopt a 10 year old that would have made me only 12 years old myself if I were to have given birth! Not impossible of course, but not really a normal situation that would help the child to settle in. 
Thank you for your message and your good wishes for our SW appointment, obviously we had to talk about it a lot and do some research before we knew we were 100% sure as well, so if you want to chat more about it I'm always here! I found the BAAF website really useful (www.baaf.org.uk ), we ordered one of their publications and it was fantastic. Also www.adoptionuk.org has some good information on it too. Apologies if you know all this but just thought it may be of some use. 
Best of luck with making your decision and for the future. 
Lou W xxxxxxxxxx


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