# How did your DH feel about you eggsharing?



## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

morning all,
im looking into some insight from the male perspective (female too)on egg sharing,mainly in regards to the policy of the donor conceived child looking for the donor or donors children when 18.How do you feel about the fact that there is a genetic child of your partners out there?
How would you feel if the donor child turned up on the door etc,we're trying to get as many opinions as possible hoping it will give us a more informed decision on whether to share or not
thanks
mel x


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## Donna82 (Jan 15, 2012)

My partner and has been brilliant regarding egg share and has said he will support me all the way......

The way we are looking at it is I wast eggs every month why not put them to good use 

As far as the child contacting us when they reach 18 goes, we have both said that it is hard to know exactly how we would feel or what we would do but would welcome that child to find us and would deal with it together. 
After experiences in my own life I'm a firm believer that a parent is someone who brings you up not someone who has supplied an egg/sperm.
I wouldn't think of that child as my own as I haven't carried them for 9 months, given birth to them or brought them up, like I have my own children.

My main reason for egg sharing is I know how much it would mean to me and my partner to have a baby of our own and it's hard knowing we have to go through all this to do it,, luckily I can use my own eggs but others are less fortunate, I feel privileged to be able to help some body else with such an amazing Thing


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

thanks for the reply donna,
i feel the same as you,like im only giving a neighbour eggs to make a cake doesnt make it my cake,only that it couldnt have been made without me.
  i think if things were still anonymous there wouldnt be so much to think about,our consultant said it tends to be 1/2 siblings that the child would be more interested in finding out about.
nice to hear your take on it thank you
mel x


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## karentia (Mar 22, 2008)

hi , tbh im not thinking too much about my eggs that will be given away nor is my partner , im trying to focus on my ivf /tx . obviously me an my partner have discussed egg share deeply but if this is the only way we can afford ivf then so be it . Any child born as a result will be more then welcome to find me in 18yrs time and i wouldnt turn them away . I know how hard it can be to have a family so giving some1 else a chance to have a child makes me feel like im doing something good


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

thank you karentia,
we are really torn between the fact that i'd like to help someone else at the same time as receiving treatment, i think because its egg donation and not embryo donation i feel like there is no connection in the same way.i know genetically the eggs are mine buts there where it ends,the mother is the mother in all sense of the word,she has carried cared for and nurtured. still trying to get as much info as possible really want to make the right choice not just for us but for the other children too
mel x


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

DH has decided that we are fine for egg share so all systems go when the time arrives
mel x


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## karentia (Mar 22, 2008)

good luck


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