# whats the worst?



## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Just trying to get a heads up? What do people find is the worst part of the application process between start and panel? 
Is it the prep course, the homesstudy, the waiting, the forms, the social workers! Any one!?
fx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

It will depend on the individual and how long the process took I guess.  For us from first call to panel was 12 months so pretty quick 6 years ago.  We are very chatty people so didn't find the assessment a problem, our SW was fantastic.

The bit most people find hardest is after approval panel, waiting to hear about potential children and if your LA do competitive matching that adds another edge to it.

OT x


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Thanks, OldTimer! I was thinking the worst would be the waiting after approval. Hopefully we will get there. I am also very chatty so think my nerves will be masked by talking! 
I am hoping that it goes smoothly and quickly so I suppose I am normal then. 
thanks fx


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## blueytoo (Oct 5, 2003)

For me the prep group as it was a waste of time for me because of my job and experience. I didn't learn anything and sitting down for four days listening to conversations you heard a thousand times isn't brilliant. I understand why I had to do it but still.

I think post panel will be the worst bit over all though, all that waiting to be matched!


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Hi Blueytoo, yeah I am looking forward to matching process cos it means we have got through but I imagine that it is tough on the soul!!  We have prep group in a few weeks and I am looking forward to it... but I can totally see what you are saying!! I am hoping to get something out of it other that ticking a box!! 
can i ask what is post panel and what is second opinion meeting?
cheers for comments!!! xxx


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## julesF (Apr 7, 2009)

with hindsight, the prep course was so helpful, the home study great therapy, the intros useful, the first 6mnths into placement when you become mum, lose your identity and your house is invaded that was the worst. It was the hardest 6mnths of my life. people warned us how hard it was, we had 2 kids at once, our friends had 3 girls at once, but nothing prepares you for that hardship


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

Frangipani: the second opinion interview is something some la's do at the end of the homestudy. a 2nd sw comes out to see you and asks a few questions and then writes a report to go in with your PAR. Post panel justs means the time after you have had your approval panel and are waiting for a match.

For me the waiting is the worst, waiting for prep course, for homestudy, for approval panel etc. I didn't find the process difficult at all, kept waiting for all these intrusive questions which never really came. The matching process can be quite hard, we are matched with the 4th child we saw and its difficult when it doesn't work out whether its your decision or someone elses. I was really looking forward to the matching bit but it was so much harder than I was expecting. Waiting again for matching panel in December.


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

wow Jules at first I started laughing and then realised how serious you were being!! I hope it is all worth it, wellI am sure it is.. We have taken a long look in thr mirrow about our network and etc and have made some changes to make sure that we get the right support, but I dont suppose you can plan for everything can you!!! 
I am looking forward to it all bar waiting for the big yes or no. 

Snapdragon thanks for that info!! You do make me feel better about it all. I can feel my nerves in my chest now just thinking about it. I am hoping your experience of waiting for interigation and then it not 
happening will be what happens to us. x 
We would like siblings but obviously we may not be suitable. Reading up on attachement theory now and trying to prepare for the long application process!! 
much gratitude for replies!!


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