# Desperately need advice



## Glitterintheair (Jun 8, 2010)

Hey everyone  

Am in a situation where I just need some advice...

I had ovarian drilling last year as had never ever had a period in my life due to severe pcos. I had that operation in September and have since had 4 periods all on my own  

So I inseminated for the first time last month and got a Bfn. for various reasons that I won't go into I didn't tell my partner. Now last week I told her that I am ready to start this month as I felt awful lying to her. Just had an email from my donor to say he is away this month. That's ok but I told her and her reaction was "just give up gem it's never going to happen". I nearly fainted on the spot!! I think she is not ready and was secretly glad. I don't want to leave her but I've got no support now. Help x


----------



## bagpuss1 (Feb 26, 2005)

I didn't want to read and run but I have a daughter from a relationship that should never have been and in hindsight we should have split rather than having a child together. I'm the bio mum and my life has become a constant round of saying hello to my daughter then saying goodbye to her just a few days later... It is Hell for me- luckily Edie is not affected and is a happy little girl. Just to say that having a baby in an unhappy relationship or when one person is unsure can lead  to the most terrible heartbreak imaginable and that's just for me... Who knows how our daughter feels about this. I'm sure we will find out in time. I would never choose to put anyone through this... Its like having my heart removed for 50% of the week. Sorry if I am blunt, I now feel quite passionately about this.


----------



## Glitterintheair (Jun 8, 2010)

Thank you for replying... I have been awake all night I really can't cope. I love my girlfriend but I don't think we are ready to go on this journey together I am devastated


----------



## BobbyS (Sep 23, 2010)

Gem 

It took me 2 years to pursuade DP that having children was a good idea, she had never wanted children but I always said I did from the start of our relationship. 

You really need support when you are going through this especially after everything you have been through. But I know how hard it is when you love your DP and want to be with her and nobody else but you have to also think about whether she is ever going to want a child. I think you need to have a frank and honest chat with her about what you both want in life.

Good luck hun and remember we are all here to support you and if you want to chat xx


----------



## Strawbs78 (Jun 3, 2008)

Hi Gem

Sorry honey that you are even having to go through this.. I have to say I completely agree with the others that a frank converastion needs to happen and happen soon..  The fact that you went through that last month without her knowing is very telling about how you feel towards wanting a baby but also how you feel she might react to the reality of doing it..

I think take a breath, have a conversation and see where you get to.. Her throw away comment of 'lets not do it...' might have been her defence mechanism kicking in as she might be bricking it!  Or you could be right and she isnt ready and at that time you need to make a decisions as to whether you stay and wait, you break up and dont try for children anyway as you are own your own or you decide to do it on your own, its such an emotive conversation and subject that I think a calm sit down is needed - doesnt always work that way when our emotions get involved though ey!

Anyway that is my 5 pence worth and just to let you know Im here if you want to chat..

I really hope it works out for you sweets...

xoxoxo


----------



## Strawbs78 (Jun 3, 2008)

Gem - how you doing? x


----------



## Fairie (Sep 13, 2009)

I agree, have a talk with her..me and my OH started trying almost 2 years ago, and the more babies I lost (six), the more the was against the idea, turns out she'd never really wanted a baby in the first place..we ended up splitting up in January and she moved out..she now has a new gf and is out partying every night of the week, while I'm sitting in our home waiting on an email from my donor to see if he's still willing to help me since I'm on my own now, which is a daunting experience, but one I'm prepared to try. I think it's better to agree fully sonner rather than later!


----------



## Glitterintheair (Jun 8, 2010)

Hey guys, 

Thanks for your kind words...  I know I speak to some of you on the other boards but wanted to say hello here too. I am currently awaiting AF and then hopefully going for it in 2 weeks time! DP is extremely stressed at work at the moment and taking it out on me so we are on a break but thats ok, thats just the path of life for the moment   xxxxx


----------

