# New Years Eve - advice needed



## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Girls, 

Need your advice re New Years Eve. Have been invited to dinner with friends - I've known them both since university and I'm godmother to their middle child. Also there will be their neighbours who I've met once or twice - she is 4 months pregnant. Plus another couple who I know quite well (went to uni with the husband and they came to France with us this Summer) and their 2 kids, and a 4th couple that I've never met who are parents of a little boy at the same school as my godson and his brother. 

I know in some ways it will be a lovely evening and they've made it clear I'm really welcome and not just being asked out of sympathy (you know how it is, people taking pity on the single person...) but I'm just not sure if I will wish I hadn't gone. Did a similar thing last year with different friends - 3 couples all either with children or pregnant at the time and although it was nice enough, I ended up being even more aware of how unhappy I am about being single and childless. 

Option B is to go up to Derbyshire to stay with my old schoolfriend - that would quiet eve in with her and her husband (who is a bit anti NYE and will probably fall asleep at 10pm!)

Or Option C, stay home and hang out online with you lovely girlies. 

What do you think? Part of me wants to go to dinner because they're great friends and I guess because it feels like the 'normal' thing to do on NYE, to go to a party with friends. But part of me just thinks I'll go and then regret it because I'll spend the whole time feeling like the odd one out...

Please let this be the last year I'm single and childless (especially the childless bit, I can more or less live with the single bit)

Anyway, I know you can't make up my mind for me, but what do you think? What are you going to do for NYE?
Suitcase
x


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## kylecat (Oct 18, 2007)

Hi Suity, I'm no expert on new years eve as I normally do the same thing every year - go out and have loads to drink  ! However, if you don't mind me saying I can sense from your message that you might not be comfortable this year at the dinner party with all the couples who have children. I know I certainly wouldn't be. I know they are your good friends but I think it might make you feel quite sad in a way. I think the option of going to see your derbyshire friend sounds good - whilst her husband snores away, you two can have a drink and a gossip and you certainly won't feel like the odd one out. Or the on line party sounds great - I may come along to that myself! I hope you don't mind me adding my opinion, however ultimately the decision is up to you!

This year I have had two invites but have decided to turn both down. I'm not up for pubs, big crowds and loads of drinking this year. I would be very happy to stay at home with a nice meal and a good film. However my mum and dad have asked me to go to theirs for the evening - my dad is cooking and they like to watch the fireworks outside at midnight. It should be a nice evening although very different to what I normally do!  

I expect lots of the other girls will come along with advice but you've been so kind to me in the past that I just wanted to add my opinion as well. 

Take care suity  

Kylecat xxx


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## winky77 (Nov 27, 2007)

Hi Suity.....

What's your gut feeling on what you'd prefer to do?  Sounds like you are trying to make a rational decision with your head (just like I do !). 

For me the Ceilidh in Edinburgh had been the main option under consideration but when I realised I had procrastinated for about a month on buying my ticket.....well my lack of enthusiasm told me something!  I also had the option of joining friends in a rented cottage in Suffolk but that didn't work out practically with me getting back from Austria. 

My over-riding thing about both Xmas and NYE this year has been to do something 'different' than previous years.  I just knew if I was doing the same old things with the same people (even if good friends!)  then it was going to be too much of a reminder of how my life has not moved on.  I also want to avoid reminders of what's missing in my life so I am avoiding loved up couples and babies!!!  Now I am not advocating you go and walk on hot coals with a bunch of alternative people like i'll be going on NYE     ....but just follow your gut about what is the best option for you. 

At the end of the day it is just one more night/day ....but I am going to challenge myself to look forward and not backwards this year!!  Having a birthday the day before NYE usually adds to the reviewing and reflecting and I am a glutton for punishment as I have a list of 50 things to achieve by 50 which I usually pull out and review! (versions of which I've had since I was 25 and when it was just  '30 things before 30'!)  You can guess what is on there with regard to family and relationships !! 

Anyway...look forward to seeing what you decide!


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

ooh tough one Suity...but on the positive side you have 3 options which makes you pretty important and special to lots of people...which is always nice to know.  can you decide nearer the time and see how you feel?  group thing sounds nice but could be upsetting, seeing old friend sounds cosy but you might feel like you want to be out more and on-line will be comfy as you can stay in your own space.  I'm rubbish when it comes to NYE so not much help, am probably going to have dinner with another single friend whilst we moan at each other    you can always join in on that  

hope it becomes clearer and as winky says go with your gut instinct, its normally right...xx


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## winky77 (Nov 27, 2007)

ps......just got a marketing email from Ann Summers...£10 off Rampant Rabbits if order by Sunday.....  damn I forgot to tell Santa!!!


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Suity - hope you manage to make the decision that will suit you over this New Year..
Work made minefor me... am duty all that week - so I'll be staying in with a bottle of plonk and chatting on FF!!
Take care
mini x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

It is a very personal decision, I hate NYE as well and we will be having a quiet evening in with the boys at mine, my donor is working and then driving up so won't be up till 2000, and as donors partner is working long days over NYE. 

I have forced myself to go to things with couples etc and not really enjoyed it, but then also gone to bed and felt sorry for myself, paid a fortune for cabs and struggled to get home etc but it is only one night! and we have v exciting things ahead next year to look forward to....
L x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Thanks everyone, I think by the time I'd typed the original post I already pretty much knew what I would do. Am 99% sure I will stay home with good food and my trusty laptop for company  

Derbyshire is a long drive and I'm better off going at the weekend when I won't be thinking about working (I'm not taking holiday over Xmas so really need to get some work done - especially as taking the last 2 weeks of January off for tx in Brno)

And as much as the guys hosting New Year in Kingston are two of my oldest and closest friends, I'd rather go and see them and the kids another day when we can just hang out and catch up without the added pressure of it being NYE. The other 3 couples there do not know about my tx and I would not want to go into it with them, so the thought of an entire evening not being able to make reference to it is just too stressful - it's such a focus in my life right now, especially with next cycle coming up, so best not to put myself in that position.

So, unless I get an amazing better offer from a handsome stranger (some hope!), I'll be here for our FF Single Girls NYE party - see some of you there!

Suitcase
x


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## Honeywitch (Dec 16, 2008)

Hope you don't mind if I pop in for the New Year party here. I'll either be sober, with a BFP   or bringing bellinis to the party!  

Suitcase, I have a similar problem at Christmas every year (with several families and loads of infants including my lovely niece and nephew) so I like to keep New Year child-free. My partner is a retired guitarist with a goth metal band (so there are usually plenty of musicians to hang out with) but he won't want to talk about BFP/BFN so I'd love to pop in here for a while. I promise not to go on about it if it is a BFP though!  

anyway - best wishes to you all
Love Honeywitch


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## Maya7 (Sep 9, 2008)

Hi suity

I'm sure you've made the right decision for you...the past few years I've found NYE particularly hard...My family and friends are all couples and as I have distanced myself a bit over this past year of tx, am a bit disconnected.  Self preservation really for when the *&%$ hits the fan and I announce my news... 

Hormones are sending me all over the place and I would probably burst into floods of tears at midnight so will escape to my house (my first NYE in my new house) ... Will either completely blank out the event in which case will sort out a few box sets and plug myself into TV or link into the FF celebration...

Take care of yourself
Maya


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## going it alone (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi everyone.
I always find NYE a tricky one being single, especially at the witching hour. In a pub it's easier as there are a lot of people around. I've been invited round to my friends' house but again it's me and four couples. The first year the girls were born I took them round but came home by eleven, last year I wasn't well and I think this year will be the same round the same friend's. not ill I hope). I'd rather spend away from couples unless in a really crowded place, which I won't be doing for a LONG time. 

Sam x


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