# 10 month old waking in the night....Update!!!!



## Bunny Face (Jan 20, 2008)

Hi there,

I'm looking for some advice and support from some experienced adopters please  ...

I have a beautiful 10 month old daughter, she was placed with us three weeks ago. Things are going really well during the day, she is happy, settled and bonding well.

We have a calm bedtime routine; bath, cuddle and milk and she goes to sleep quickly and without any tears. *However* she then wakes numerous times during the night, sometimes within a couple of hours and then every 1-2 hours thereafter. She seems to struggle with a deep sleep and ends up standing up in her cot screaming for attention.

We've tried the cot in our bedroom, her bedroom, next to our bed, away from our bed, a mattress on the floor in her bedroom so we can comfort her but nothing seems to work. The only time she settles (for a longer period) is when she's in our bed...

It's still early days, but does anyone have any suggestions please?

Thanks....from a very tired Mummy x


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

How was fC settling?  How long have you been given each method? How is she settling at bed time ?

Hugs xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Totally sympathise with u bubba was like this. It takes time but I promise it gets easier. I am sure it is just a time thing its scary at night she is somewhere different bed will fill strange its all just a big muddle for her at moment. Sorry that doesn't help solve the problem but once she is more settled and smells become more normal the tried and tested methods will work. Nap when u can xx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Hi and congrats on your new little daughter
please read the threads further down on the board..by skyblu and poppets mamma (new name poppeets mama/cant wait  ??) one abbout sleep disturbance and the other abot stopping bottle..i think you will find both have helpful comments for your situation...

kj


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

I would have her in your bed then if that's where you both get enough sleep    Great for bonding.  You seem to have tried everything else I would suggest....


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Our little boy was more settled at this age but we and he wouldn't have got any rest if he was in our bed, as everyone would just have kept waking each other up. We have had him in a couple of times when away from home where it's been a case of 1 hr sleep versus no sleep at all.

But I would suggest looking into a bedside cot or co-sleeper (I think the former are standard cot size and the latter a bit smaller so may well be too small). The baby's cot is right up against your bed and you can put out an arm for a cuddle etc. but they can't actually kick you/take over your space and vice versa.

Is she still having a bottle during the night? We weren't at this age but I know quite a few still are.  

Is there anything else she had at the FCs that you could introduce into the bed e.g. muslins/sheets (at this age, little boy couldn't really care less about teddies but loved his muslins. Now he likes teddies too).


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## Bunny Face (Jan 20, 2008)

Theretofour said:


> How was fC settling? How long have you been given each method? How is she settling at bed time ?
> 
> Hugs xx


Thanks for all your responses.

She has always been a poor sleeper but had started to sleep through about two weeks before placement. FC said that she would settle with a dummy and one bottle of about 3 Oz. she is waking more frequently than at FC and needs more milk to settle. In addition she only naps for about 30mins during the morning and afternoon.

We have tried each method for a few days, it seems to improve initially and then goes downhill but we are going to persevere with the cot in our bedroom for the foreseeable future.

She settles fairly easily at bedtime. We give her a bath or shower and a massage, she sits on our lap with a blanket and drinks her milk. Once the milk is finished, she pops her dummy in and falls asleep. Nap time can be stressful though, she doesn't give in very easily during the day.

She's not a great eater and will only eat deserts (this is the same as at the FC) and therefore I have wondered whether she is hungry. We've changed to a 'hungry baby' milk and there was a slight improvement last night. She woke 4 times, three times for a dummy replacement and once for a bottle.

I know it's early days and I'm sure she will settle, I just wish she could tell me what she needs as I hate seeing her so tired and distressed during the night. 

Aaa - how long did it take for your LO to settle at night?


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

you say she wakes for dummy replacement..do you mean you have to put it on for her? if so then maybe consider a dummy string so she can find it for herslef again? people worry about them being a risk but they are quite short and i struggled to see how they could have got round my DS's neck..they were a God send as he used to lob his across the room!


the spouses idea of the bedside cot is a good one too..though i could see you may not want to fork out for one..they have them on Ebay though...?


kj x


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

It was a while hun in the end I had to get harsh. When she was in fc she fell asleep on them with bottle and would stay asleep when they took her to bed and then sleep through he said if she woke in the night she often played with her toys and then settled herself.  The bottle bed routine went pair shape almost instantly and if she did fall asleep she woke on way to bed. We probably both fussed too much but u do its truly awful seeing them so upset. She never settled if she woke but did have 2 hours mid morning if she was out in buggy or car. Anyway I am waffling sorry. In the end she had milk, story bed and we left her I knew she could come to no harm and miracle she slept for 12 hours the screaming before she went off very quickly stopped and she goes to bed like a dream. She does still occasionally wake and had been taking 3 hours to go off again but when it happens now we go in calm her down with minimal words then night darling mummy daddy just gotta pop to do wee wee and she is asleep lol.
Stay strong do what works for u, it was buggy walks that gave me a break I would walk in circles round where live till she gone then fly home phones off and  made sure I rested as well.
If cot in your room works stick with it get your strength back and then try again when u feel u can it will happen xx


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

We don't like a dummy string at night though we use one for naps. He lobs it across the room at about 6am but not before! You can also get what's called a Breathable Cot Wrap (we were going to get one to stop him putting his arms through the cot, but now it's too late for the dummy as he just throws it over the top. But at 10mo you would probably get some use out of it). But I think we were still doing a few dummy replacements at this age so 4 of them and 1 bottle isn't bad.

I hate to tell you but there is nothing in hungry baby milk that will make them sleep.  Several HVs have told me this (and if yours tells you otherwise, she's been swallowing the ads!). What time does she have tea before bedtime? If she had a bit more then (will she eat cereal? our little boy is a weetabix monster) that might top her up for the night?


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## E3021 (May 28, 2010)

Hi,

I agree with The Spouses - our LO still has porridge before bed after her full evening meal  - I swear this helps her to stay sleeping all night. She usually wakes once in the night but settles after a teeny stroke and recovering.

At ten ,months I was still, giving her 1 bottle in the night to get her through, even with bedtime porridge. I didn't stop the night feed until 12 months.

It is stillsuch early days for you, I know it seems endless but as she settles it will get better. Whatever you decide, I would pick one strategy and stick with it for a while. Your bedtime routine sounds lovely, that's why she's going down well. Could you find a similar routine for daytime naps to settle her?


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Hi, my lo was a 3-4 waker also but she is 2 yrs not 10 months!!!!
It is still early days and I felt like you do now when we were going through it, it is hell. 
If the cot in your room is working for now and you are getting more sleep, then carry on.
Your bedtime routine is fantastic and keep that up and don't change it.
This was our story, lo was waking 3-4 times a night for a bottle but like your lo went to bed no problem.
We then told her she is now 2 and starting nursery in a few weeks and she really doesn't need the bottle any more.
We were expecting tears but she happily put the bottles in a bag and then put them in the bin. The first 3 nights were better  but she never asked for the bottle instead she was asking for a bit of water, which was only a sip and she settled, but I was still getting up 3 times. After the first three days she was waking but I didn't need to go in as she settled her self. I think it was just a habit of waking, but now as she doesn't have milk during the night she is eating a lot more so she is not waking as much. Now she will wake up between 11.00pm - 2.30am  I go in to reassure her all is o.k and it's sleepy time, I don't hear from her until 7-8 am which is fantastic considering we are only on week 5!!!!
It is a little easier with our lo as she is 2yrs not 10 months so she has a better understanding. I would defiantly give her porridge or weetabix before bed and maybe follow that on with 3-4 floz of warm milk and she if that settles her more, maybe as someone has said, she maybe hungry.
I think with our lo is was a combonation of habit and hunger as she wasn't eating much during the day as she was having too much milk.

Sorry I have waffled on a bit, but hopfully things will settle soon and remember don't be too harsh on yourself as it is still early days and we are all here for you. 

Skyblu.xxx


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## Bunny Face (Jan 20, 2008)

Thank you so much for your support and advice. It makes a difference to know that we are not alone.

LO has been really unsettled for the last couple of nights, waking 10 times on Friday and 6 last night.  I have been quite poorly with a throat infection so poor DH has been trying to settle her and whilst 'observing' I noticed that her upsetting screams (whilst standing up in the cot) are TEARLESS!  ....and she settles immediately on taking her our of the cot which would obviously suggest that there is nothing physically wrong. 

It has been drummed into us that forming attachments are so important in the first few weeks that DH and I are worried that being too harsh with her at this stage would be detrimental, but is it time to start being harsher? sometimes she settles with just her dummy and a back rub but what do we do when she is standing up in her cot and screaming? We have tried to lie her back down with no verbal interaction but she often cries and stands up again.  

How long should we let her cry for? Is it too soon to leave her crying? She has now been with us for 4 weeks tomorrow. 

X


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## Bunny Face (Jan 20, 2008)

Hello everyone, 

Just wanted to give you all a quick update on how things are progressing.  Last Thursday we decided to embark on a sleep training schedule from a fantastic book called 'good night, sleep tight'.....

The first night of sleep training LO went from waking 10 times to just 4!!.....and last night was her personal best of just 2.  We are still 'mid training' but its going well and there is light at the end of the tunnel.  I'm hoping she'll sleep through the night within a few weeks which will be an amazing accomplishment for us all.

I'm a very proud Mummy, just need to tackle the weaning now.....thanks for all your support x


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Bunny face that is fantastic news well done.


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