# Beginnings of parenthood!



## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Not sure if this will be of use but from reading posts (many from the very helpful May intros board) I noticed there are a lot of us new to parenting and thought it maybe an idea to start a thread where we can share ideas/firsts. I'm wondering how everyone is feeling if their OH is due back to work soon and you'll be 'left holding the baby'. My DH is due back on Tues after being off for nearly a month - yes he's starting to annoy me and I want to get into my own routine but I'm also not looking forward to him not being there lol. 

Thought we could share our experiences as we experience them!


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## Hunibunni (Jan 18, 2009)

Good idea mummy2blossom. I will definitely be interested in anything posted here. 

Xx


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## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Brilliant idea I'm also thinking this is great at the moment as we are like a tag team but soon dh will return to work eek x


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

Great idea - count me in from this Tuesday! Scary but extremely exciting!


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Yep I'm excited too but very nervous, have bit of a chilled week planned to start then following week might brave a bounce&rhyme session eeek!

Can I ask what everyone has done about introducing family eg timings etc. blossom been home 2and a bit weeks we have had 2 brief meetings with my mum & one with inlaws all at a park so neutral ground. My mum is my first help to call upon when hubby at work so feel we need to focus on her. Hubby thinks we're ok to let my mum have a little cuddle but I don't feel sure, what has everyone else done? Am I being too over protective & cautious? 

 Think I over think things too much, I'm just so scared of upsetting the progress we've made


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## Loopylou29 (Mar 4, 2013)

We found that when dh went back to work things become more normal and settled. I think lots of new parents find this.

I don't see the harm in letting your mum have a little hold of lo, especially if she will be your main support. It won't do any harm and as long as lo can see you it should be ok.

Both times we nodded about funnelling and then completely ignored the sw once our boys came home. They always come to us for comfort etc. We just held off letting people feed, nappy change etc.


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Little man was 8 months when he came to us. We started with funnelling but 3 weeks in he broke his leg and was admitted to hospital for a week. I stayed with him everyday and night, dh came in the days and my mum stayed in the chair next to our bed every night. Circumstances meant We had no option but to let her cuddle and care for little man because there were time s I needed to go to the toilet/speak to dr's etc, therefore funnelling well and truly went out of the window. I can honestly say it appears to have done no harm what so ever. Ss and all the hospital staff couldnt belief we had only had him 3 weeks consiedring how well he was attaching, this has continued so it def hasnt affected our bond. He still came to us for comfort. my mum and LM also have a wonderful bond and I think that was helped during that time. I would say go with your gut. You are obviously aware of the impact and effects it can have and if you saw it effecting blossom at all them just pull back. 

Take care xx


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Well I braved it!
Had first visit to my mum's (1.5 hrs only) went really well lots of giggles & smiles so blossom had a cuddle with grandma!  
Bad news-blossom cried within about 5 seconds!
Good news - she looked straight to me and stopped as soon as I took her   although I felt terrible for her being upset but surely it's a good sign she settled straight away with me!  Mum was over the moon at the brief cuddle and then proceeded to play a peek boo game which was lovely. Think next time we'll begin with sitting blossom in between me/Dh and grandparent. 

2days till hubby goes to work!


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## millie:) (Feb 12, 2013)

Yey sounds good its a great idea x


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Good idea M2B.

My DH has 2 more full weeks off work and then he is going back 2 days a week for a week, then 3 then 4 before going back full time.  Our LO is 4 and having moved to ours today we are his 6th carer since birth so the SWs wanted DH to be around for as long as possible to help him with his attachment.  

I am dreading when he goes back if I am honest.  DH is fantastic with LO and LO looks to him more than me (I feel like I am constantly nagging at him as he is pushing all the buttons at the moment!) but we can work together to diffuse a situation so I do feel anxious about DH not being around and having to cope with it alone.

We want to introduce him to family asap.  LO is very outdoorsy and he has been used to going out every day to a park or somewhere with his FC, her sister and her foster kids.  So my plan is to spend the summer out and about with him.  We don't want people we know to bump into us when we are out and about and meet him before family do.  But DH's family is very large and we don't want to do too much too soon.  We did bump into granddad and grandma when walking the dog yesterday and we want him to meet two of his cousins tomorrow as he is used to going to nursery and needs the interaction with other kids his age.  

It is so difficult to know what to do for the best though.  Will be interesting to hear what others think.


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## mummy to little pea (Nov 8, 2013)

will be keeping an eye on this one, a fantastic thread, i start intros in a cpl weeks time so this could def be very helpful x

hope everyones LO is doing well and attaching well with you all x


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## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Hi all just about to start day 3 with baby pink home it feels still very surreal that we have a daughter she is a dream but I keep waking at all hours to check on her despite the fact she sleeps through the night I'm a born worrier but I'm  hoping I will relax more the more she is here. I'm also incredibly nervous when dh returns to work we have this great routine but i feel like I will be completely lost when he is at work. Concerning  visits from family and friends my dh would be happy to have visits now but is not due to me I still feel I need some more bonding time. We did Skype dh brother and family yesterday which was nice so they saw little pink. Other than that no one else prob do my dad next my friends are very excited but are being respectful bless them and waiting. Anyone feel strange walking with the pram ? I like it but annoyed that our area the kerbs aren't that great funny what you pick up on now.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

I think keeping family and friends away for as long as possible is very beneficial to you and your lo whilst bonding. We over did it in the early days of placement and our lo who was 15 months at the time didn't cope with that at all. We found he was being over friendly to anyone, desperate to sit on there knee and was desperate to impress. He looked happy on the outside but on the inside was a different picture all together. So we kept visitors to a minimum and any that did come were not aloud to hold him or do any of mummy and daddy jobs for lo. This worked well and we kept it up for several months. We did however let my mum do things with him after a couple of months. She very much went at his pace and certainly didn't force anything. It ended up being hugely beneficial for us as lo grew to trust my mum and she has been the only person he is truly relaxed and happy to spend the day with and he adores her which is lovely.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Hi all..

I thought I'd chime in as we've now had Little Pea home for 4 1/2 months.

We actually introduced him to DH parent's in the foster carers home as they had to pick up all his toys etc (we don't drive). They didn't touch him, just said hello and watched him play for a few minutes before we all left. Then when he was home, they came over on the first Saturday (bringing lunch with them for us). They rule we had from day one was to only pick him up if he asked to be picked up. He was 13 months old when he came home so fully aware of who he wanted and when. Now, he has such a close bond to his Nana & Grandad and has been left with them while DH and I went out. Every child is different but that worked for us.

Hubby going back to work was the worst week! We kept visitors to a minimum so not to confuse Pea. I did make sure to get out of the house at least once a day. It was hard as Pea wasn't walking then so couldn't really go to the park and it was still winter so cold, especially as we live on the coast. We quickly settled into a routine, even though Pea still misses Daddy when he's at work. We make sure to have lots of pictures on hand.

Make sure to take some time out for yourself once partners do go back to work. This morning I've kicked DH & Pea out to the park so I can have a couple of hours to myself 

xxx


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Wonderfully exciting and terrifying times.  Congratulations to everyone on their new families.

Regarding introducing children to relatives, it's a difficult one.  We introduced Wyxling (19 months at placement) to family a month or so in, gradually.  We asked family not to be too forward, let us do the cuddles, nurture, hand holding to cross the road etc, which my husband's family completely ignored, and mine did a bit.  MIL in particular was really over-maternal with her and it caused terrible problems.  We didn't see them that often as they lived a long way away but when we did it was pretty horrendous and the aftermath was awful.  Wyxling did have quite severe attachment issues, and still does have issues, and she simply didn't reference adults correctly.  She completely rejected us and sought comfort from other family members when we were together, and would control them as much as she feasibly could.  Because she seemed to welcome them with open arms, they refused to accept it was a bad thing, no matter how much we explained how stressed and distressed she was before and after visits.  It was all a complete mess.  Hubby was very reluctant to confront them about it (he wouldn't, and I didn't, although I wish now I had done it sooner despite the strain it would have put on our relationship) and family visits just became something we dreaded.  It was only when we had professional involvement and they said we needed to get family to completely step back and start sending her to us for all the love and nurture related things, that we really put our foot down.  It went down like a lead balloon and has really damaged our relationship with them.  We asked them to refer Wyxling back to us, nicely, when she was pushing us away and demanding they go to her and cuddle her etc, just cuddles are lovely, and Wyxling is very cuddly, but Mummy and Daddy have the biggest cuddles for Wyxling and will always be there to keep her safe etc.  They didn't cooperate at all and just used to stand there stock still and do nothing if she tried to throw herself at them, then stomp off crying and tell us how hard it was for them and how they didn't see the harm in it.  MIL has had 4 kids and been a child minder and a teacher so clearly, she new best, and our problems with Wyxling were down to poor parenting, not anything else.  We had to pretty much stop seeing them.  We're a good 15 months on from that now, two years from placement, and it's really only now that we're starting to get some semblance of "normal" family situations, where Wyxling will go to family members, but seek comfort from us as her parents, in a relatively normal manner.

I don't think it hurts to be cautious until you see how your child reacts to other family members.  If you allow family to be too cuddly and mothering with little one and do find it causes problems, it's very hard to go back on that for the child as well as family, so I think it makes sense to err on the side of caution initially.  I think the more willing your child is to go to strangers for cuddles and comfort, the more you should make sure they don't, because this is the time they need to learn that it's you they come to for all their needs, and you'll always be there to meet them.  Our children will be there forever, so family can wait for a little while.  When we had Bladelet placed we didn't see my husband's family for some time, which also gave us a break from them interfering with Wyxling, and it worked well for us.  She is coping much better now with family situations and Bladelet seems to deal well with them. 

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

Still doing intros but watching this board with curiosity.  Perhaps I should know this but what is meant by 'funneling'?

We brought our LO to our home today then back to FC's house. DH's mum and dad popped in for all of two minutes. I know they're not supposed to see her just yet, but I don't think it did any harm for a little minute.She was good as gold, smiling and babbling so they were smitten straight away! Can't wait to bring her back again! I'm loving intros and pleased I was able to sterilise bottles, make feeds etc today.


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

I think there is a huge difference between meeting family members and  them becoming too affectionate and taking over care roles and the meeting of little ones's needs. Our situation dictated our behaviour. My mum had to care for little man for small snippets of time but up until recently, when I returned to work, no one other that dh, my mum and I had changed a nappy, given a bottle or comforted when upset. But  I honestly don't feel there is anything wrong with your lo's meeting your family as long as it is managed well and they don't over step the mark. (We too had the rule of no picking up unless he initiated it) When we took little man out and about people would stop and chat to us all the time. He was very engaging and many people would comment on him and then we would move on. When intros and settling in were over dh worked from home so clients would sometimes call in for a cuppa. What was the difference with that and it being a family member? Little man didn't know they weren't family and it would have meant people who weren't very important to us meeting him before  our favourite people. 

It is most definitely a Situation that can escalate and can cause difficulties but you are obviously aware of that otherwise you wouldn't have posted the questions.

Flash xx


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Fab thread...

Our LO is nearly one...

Been home two weeks an family have visited. No cuddles with anyone but a few relatives have grabbed him as soon as they've seen him but he's wiggled an moaned an they've quickly put him down...

Visited a relatives house for the first time today an he was fine!

I'm happy for people to try a cuddle but at his age he isn't massively fussed on cuddling anyone as he's discovering his own independance!

Hope everyone's enjoying parenthood! X


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Interesting thread this. We too had a honeymoon period and then when dh went back to work, LO regressed massively as he had to adjust all over again. My dh works long hours and so he wouldn't see him during the week. The result....he rejected my dh big time on the weekends and it's only now...6 months in that he has started accepting him again. We definitely underestimate the adjustments that these little ones have to go through. We naively thought that at 14 months old, it would be a breeze. In reality it has been the hardest thing I have ever done but we are putting in some hard work here and I can see small changes every week. Keeping photos of dh around the house and in his toy boxes during the day certainly helped. 

Such exciting times for all of you xxx


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## Thyme17 (Nov 27, 2011)

This thread is so timely! Little thyme ( 10 mo old) has now been home over a week she is a super sociable child so we and SW did feel that it was important to have some good funnelling time when it was mostly us and her. Coming up to 2 weeks later, I am starting to see some signs of turning to us first when confronted by strangers, before she would just crawl over and give everyone the loveliest smile. She still does, but starting to look over to us first. It is a difficult balance because I certainly don't want to put her off nice interactions with people but at the same time crawling over fearlessly didn't seem right either.

We are keeping close family away for the first few weeks, but they have to travel to us anyway so that was a relatively easy discussion. However, MIL is quite full on...will have to manage expectations so she does not drive LO mad with repeated requests to wave or throw kisses or whatever. Leaving that battle till closer to their trip!

It is a little hard knowing how to meet up what with people not coming here, limiting interactions at other houses....and the awful rainy weather! Need some sunny park time! How are others spending outdoors time? 

Oh and yes, DH back at work full time today so on me own with Littlie too! She is great though....I really could spend hours playing with her and have done since she came home. In the name of bonding


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Had some truly gorgeous moments with blossom recently, hubby back to work today and omg I survived a mini supermarket trip this morning! Feel really sorry for hubby as he so wanted to stay at home with us, I dread to think how I'd feel at having to go back to work (hopefully don't have to think about that for at least a yr)

Can I ask a really random question?  How does every one manage a shower in the morning?  I'm thinking might need to change to evenings! Also the whole shopping thing what do you do with lo when you need to unload the car? (Yep u guessed I'm a real worrier   Lol)

Thank you to everyone who's posted (will read all replies properly tonight!)


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

M2b we've been doing online shopping, usually can get next day delivery...showers I do when hubby here...

6am wake, I do bottle while hubby gets showered, hubby comes down an I go change an then we all leave the house at the same time so I get a dog walk in whilst hubs walks to work x


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## Thyme17 (Nov 27, 2011)

I'm also totally a shower in the morning person, so have been nipping into shower while DH looks after LO having breakfast. My back up in case he has an early work start is that she still naps for 20 minutes at around 9.30!

I haven't done any full shopping with her so far, left her with DH for an hour in the weekend and dashed round the supermarket! I wasn't fully focused though and forgot things so will try walk to local shop today with her in stroller.


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## Loopylou29 (Mar 4, 2013)

To shower I've always put lo in his cot will th his dummy, blanket and a few toys. He is quite happy for 5 minutes or so which is enough time for me to shower. I then bring him into our room and keep the door closed while I get dressed. He crawls around on the floor or looks at himself in the mirror and does his hair.

We all go shopping as ds1 likes to help but if I was on my own with ds2 I would leave him in car seat while I unloaded the car. Once in the house then into a highchair to unpack.


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We got a travel cot which doubled up as a playpen for unloading shopping when little pink was small. She was happy to spend 10 minutes or so playing with her toys or just watching mummy. Other times I used to put her in the highchair with a drink and snack to keep her occupied. It's all the little things like this you don't think about!! But soon you'll have it all sussed, just as your little ones start walking and want to help


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Thank you everyone, great ideas!  I'm sure once I get into my own routine things will just fit, just had bit of a shock phone call-so not only am I learning to be a mummy & have my first day without hubby and deal with a teething baby but my work just phoned to tell me they have sold the business! My manager & owner have been amazing support through our whole journey so I feel rather sad & totally shocked!

(Sorry just had to tell someone as everyone is at work lol!)


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## Thyme17 (Nov 27, 2011)

Gosh, m2b , that sounds like quite a morning. No wonder routines feel a little distracted after news like that! It must be quite disconcerting to hear that so soon after finishing work to be with LO. Hope they had some further info for you as to future plans xx


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Phew, that's quite a day m2b. Just  to add to your question....If I need to wash my hair then I put LO in his cot with toys and blankie which he is ok with for a little while. Otherwise for a quick shower, I keep him in the bathroom with me....he loves to watch the water run down the shower door and finds it amazing that he manages to stay dry. Shopping wise....I leave him in the car while I unload into the house.....then high chair while I sort/unpack as it usually lunch or dinner time by then.  He has always come shopping with me from day 1 as I wanted him to get used to it. I pass him most things and he puts (ok...drops!) them into the trolley. I talk to him the whole way round...saying things like ....ooh, we musn't forget daddy's yogurts etc. just keep them involved and they'll be fine. Checkout queues are always a final challenge but singing songs and rhymes usually helps. As a last resort......spin the trolley and let them face the other way. They love it!!!!

Xxx


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Love the shopping stories!

One last thing to happen tonight! My bunny has become very unwell so as soon as hubby came home I rushed out to vets!

A very positive note when hubby came home blossom became super excited & hyper full of giggles-it was perfect


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

Yes I know already what you mean by not being able to get even simple things done eg shower, load dishwasher! Our LO spent her first night with us last night. She slept until 4am when she was wide awake, smiling and gurgling in her cot beside me. It was lovely to look in at her wee face! She eventually settled after getting a feed.

As for me, I have taken a chest and sinus infection. Left dh with our little poppet to go to the doctor. He had yet to change her nappy and ended up getting the stinkiest one yet! Nothing else for it but to put her in the bath. Got antibiotics but they have made me sick so have to go back now to get different ones.  So glad dh is still home to look after LO otherwise I don't know what I'd do. I want to sing to and play with hed but feel pretty miserable. Ah well, at least LO is now here, very content and pleasant!


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

I am reading all these posts and am green with envy of your pre-walkers lol.  My boy is 4 and shopping is a nightmare because he wont sit in the trolley nor will he walk nicely next to it, he runs off, but of course when you want to go fast his legs don't work!!  Check out queue is something else - a two man job most definitely!!  When DH goes back to work, shopping will have to be done in the evenings or when LO is at pre-school which I haven't yet enrolled him into.  I have to shower when DH is about and vice versa or after he's gone to bed.  There is no way we could leave him playing with toys, he would get himself into mischief somehow, or come to find me in the bathroom and I can't face the questions that would follow lol.

M2B, lovely to hear that Blossom has bonded with your DH.  But sorry to hear about your job and hope your bunny is ok

Someday - hope you get better soon


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Thank you vetty, getting there slowly with bunny  
Blossom again greeted daddy beautifully today, I've been using our talking album and DVD from intros so think that may help. 

Wow shopping with a 4yr old sounds fun!!  I'll look forward to that with blossom & maybe do the online shopping  

Hope you feel better soon someday, glad Dh is home to help

Thyme how have you found first few days without other half? & yes I've been told business as usual and new owner has signed something to agree to no changes & honour contracts so fingers crossed all ok

Hope everyone else is well & enjoying family time xxx


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

I still shower while hubby is having breakfast in the morning before he goes out.  On the rare occasions I've had to do it alone with the kids, Bladelet in the cot (he screams, regardless of what toys he has, but causes chaos if left running round) and Wyxling hovering in the bathroom pushing all the boundaries.

Shopping trips are tricky with our two.  Bladelet has to be completely kept away from everything.  Even in the trolley, he grabs everything that comes within his reach and throws it on the floor so I have to be super careful of everything, including any shopping in our trolley that's too near to him, or other people's trolleys.  I do my best to entertain him, which works, he's happy enough, but he'll still be as naughty as he can given the slightest chance.  Wyxling can be OK, if quite giddy.  If I let her "help" a lot, and run around quite a bit, it tends to work better, but there's always the danger she'll go completely off the rails and then I do have issues.  I can't put them in a two seater trolley, because Bladelet will pull Wyxling's hair/hit/bite etc if he's in that frame of mind.  Normally hubby does the food shop with the kids, because Bladelet's really good for him, so he only has to cope with Wyxling.  She can be pretty good actually if given enough attention.

We did shopping trips together for quite a long time!


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Haha...yes you do have to watch those prying fingers grabbing anything they can...including other peoples shopping. Awkward! I tend to pile the shopping away from him towards the back of the trolley in some kind of weird leaning tower of Pisa. Big things like nappies and loo rolls go closer to him so no train smash if they are dropped. 

Speed shopping is the way forward. Any longer and you're in trouble ;-)


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Also recommend internet shopping and home delivery....  

Always quite proud of Bug for handling shopping, esp as FC was adamant he would never ride in trolley/cope with shopping.  We eased him in with the local Co-Op using the big wheely baskets, then graduated to the trolley seat with a snack/book/magazine and he was good as gold.  Although I often had to pick stickers off the trolley afterwards...

The only exception was at one store where it was really echoey, so he wanted to shout, and another toddler was doing the same.  ""Oh, he's a handful, isn't he?" said the checkout assistant.  "I could hear him all over the store, ever since he came in!"  How I didn't let rip at her, I don't know.

As for showers, I used to lock him in the bathroom with me, and give him a couple of pages from a sticker book.  We still have a LOT of stickers on the loo seat.  

He was two back then.  Now he's three and a half, he's okay to be left with Cbeebies, or toys, or his breakfast, as long as he knows where I am.  Sometimes he comes up to see how I'm doing, or tell me Little Robots is on, and sometimes I just shout down the stairs when I get out, to check he's okay.  "You okay, sweetheart?"  "Ess Mummy.  Ize fine.  THANK you."

The only time that backfired on me was when I got out the shower and found him at the foot of the stairs, clutching the empty milky bar buttons bag with an expression on his face equal parts pride and guilt.  He'd pushed the small stool, then the big stool, over in front of the fridge, climbed up, and helped himself.  *facepalm*


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

I've got used to showering with a small face pressed up against the glass.... It's amazing how quick you can shower when you have an audience.....!
Ds used to comment loudly in the swimming pool changing rooms when he was 3ish 'ooh mummy, what's that.....!'

Dd thankfully loves to sit in trolley as likes to be treated younger than her age, my mission is to try and avoid her striking up inappropriate conversations with strangers so try to park trolley so she can't get eye contact with anyone while I'm packing  

Last time I did online shopping I ended up with 5 bunches of bananas rather than the 5 bananas I thought I'd ordered   there should be a 'are you sure' message that pops up!


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I ended up with 20 pints of milk


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

Lol - so glad to have this thread rather than heading to adoption uk forum! So much more fun! Loving the shower stories. Our LO was very colicky at one point today and screamed the house down. She eventually slept for a good two hours and woke up smiling and content as usual. We had the added pressure of bringing her to contact with BM today - not sure if this contributed to all the crying or not. She is coping very well though - little pet!


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Well today I left blossom with daddy for the first time (been home 3 weeks & 4 days). Only for about 5 hours whilst I went to see my sister try on her wedding dress (eek so excited!). I felt like I had forgotten something the whole time and missed her terribly-she had fun in the garden with daddy and her swing!  It was lovely coming home to gorgeous smiles but as much as I know she's perfectly fine & no worries about daddy's coping ability it was just me missing her that was my problem lol

Anyone else braved it yet?


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Yes both DH and I have both had some alone time with LO.  Daddy even attempted the shopping centre with him as it was my birthday and he wanted to get a pressie for me with him.  He got a card but that was about as much as he could do as LO doesn't really do shopping, it is definitely a two person job lol.  I took him to a soft play centre which was good.  Met my sister there but we couldn't have a proper conversation as I was constantly worried about where LO was and wanted to make sure he knew to come to me.  I think I have gotten a few more grey hairs in the last 9 days that LO has been with us!


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Vetty I second the grey hair thing (be a visit to hairdressers soon lol)

How's everyone doing?  We're settling into a good week time routine (need to work on weekends as when daddy's home it goes out the window lol) & blossom really is coming on leaps & bounds. Sw visits are down to once a month and they're hoping to begin our court paper work soon.


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## millie:) (Feb 12, 2013)

Little one has been home two weeks and settling well although teething and fractious at times but have to say this is the most amazing time of our lives took little one swimming because he goes crackers in the bath he's now nearly ten months he loved it I braved it Alone and although is fidly both getting changed we both loved it x have to say I did brave a few hours out alone had tickets to see Darren brown but started to feel a little anxious to get home even though he was fine with daddy x


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi, not sure how many of us still read this - far too busy being mummy's!

Millie I sympathise with the teething!  Blossom has been on/off for a while now (although last couple of days seem to have taken a break from it!) so hard not being able to do more for them when they're suffering!
We too plan to take blossom swimming soon & I can't wait!

Just wondered if anyone has ventured to baby groups yet?  I've worked out ones I think she'll like and hope to go soon, I just feel anxious about the whole thing. I know blossom will love it but I often become very nervous about meeting new people & have the added worry of "what if they ask awkward questions" worried about feeling uncomfortable at times when the convertsations involve pregnancy/labour. So just thought if any of you had already jumped this hurdle??

Anyway, I hope you're all well and enjoying quality family time in the sun!

Oh and it's nearly Father's Day!  Am sooo excited to be celebrating it with my hubby and our gorgeous daughter


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Hi Blossom.

I've been a few different groups. I tend to find the problems isn't the conversations, it's watching how other people parent their children. The first group we tried out, there was a mother who spent the whole time sitting on her backside playing with her phone while shouting across the room at her poor child. The best groups are the ones with some kind of structure, whether that's messy play or song time. 

Little Pea has been home 5 months now and he's grown so much! We have a court date too so hopefully we should be all official by the end of August


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Hi M2B.  I'm still getting on here every now and then for a catch up.  Can't comment on the baby groups having a 4yo but I have similar issues with people thinking I am experienced mother of a toddler when in fact I've had him for 3 weeks.  Talking of groups, I took my LO along to a Sure Start under 5s group but he was bored.  The other kids were too young for him to interact with really, they were all 3 and under because of course the over 3s are going to nursery and they weren't interested in him nor him in them.  We have been told by SWs we shouldn't send him to nursery but to find other children's groups to prepare him for school.  Well that just isn't going to work for him.  We can see he is desperate to play with children his own age, our neighbours have a grandson his age and when he is visiting our LO constantly wants to go and play with him.  His SW has agreed we can enrol him into pre-school, only 2 days a week, so long as we stay there so that's what we did and he loves it.  He wants to go every day but we're going to leave it as it is for now.

In the three weeks I've had littl'un I had a birthday and we've had father's day.  We've had some difficult days as he has a lot of emotion/anxiety/anger to deal with but getting cards with mummy written on them and helping my boy write his name in the father's day card he chose just makes it all worthwhile.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

I've been to two baby groups.....within first few moments they start discussing whether you knew what gender you where having...

I just ignored it an played with my boy...I might be honest an say he's adopted next time but it's our business I guess!

Other than that the groups have been great! I've loved how friendly the mums are an so many are wanting a pal which is nice!

X


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi all, thank you for your replies

Mummy pea, that's also an issue I have. I'm no snob but I have standards and when I hear how some people 'talk' to their children I cringe!

Vetty hope lo is still enjoying play group, sounds like you're getting on well and those difficult times are smoothed by the precious moments xx

Poppy glad you have made some mummy friends & good idea to be distracted by lo. 

As for us we're doing really well, blossom is amazing us every day!  I have made plans to go to our first group on Monday (I found a local adoption one so thought that might be good to suss out!)

 to everyone xx


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Hi All,

It's lovely reading about all your experiences and will definitely be re-reading once we have LO's 

Thought this maybe the best place to ask the following question, after reading how you all managed to shower lol

I wish we were where u all are, but hopefully 7 weeks today we'll have our 2nd yes 

Just wanted to ask how you manage to go to the toilet during the day? As I have an over active bladder (mainly at night) and have been told I will be questioned about my condition (I tend to go once in the morning and once in the afternoon and then 3 times before bed and I get up in the night). Any ideas on how I can answer the panel members appropriately.

Thanks as always xx


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Hey dawn!

When I need the loo I either leave LO playing if he's occupied or if he's feeling clingy then he comes with me!

Have you a downstairs loo? 

For us, if we had two an needed to use the loo a lot I'd tell them we have a secure upstairs stair gate an close all doors an put toys in hallway...or guess could put in cot? Depends on ages?


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Good ideas poppy!  I tend to do the same  

Quick question:
When do you think is a good time to take lo into work?  I work with quite a lot of people & it's the done thing to take babies in to show them off. I think blossom could handle a brief visit but I'm not comfortable with passing her around. Work have been so supportive so I feel I should go soon (am thinking next week) blossom will have been home 8 weeks & is doing so very well (sw v happy with everything)

I just wondered what others have done??

Hope everyone is well


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## Dawn7 (Sep 10, 2013)

Thanks Little poppy,

We haven't a downstairs toilet unfortunately, but I like the idea if I see LO's occupied then i'll just dive upstairs and if they're a little clingy they can come with me lol Best get used to having a audience for shower and toilet times by the sound of it 

Mummy2blossom, I'm obviously not at ur stage but I think if u feel LO could handle a visit, then I guess you'll be fine. Maybe speak to ur boss beforehand, so u and LO don't get a crowd around u and maybe have maybe a few colleagues approach u both gradually or depending on layout of ur office, go to individual desks and catch up with colleagues that way.

xx


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Quick question!

How/when did people have their 1st long/different day with lo? We have a wedding on sat & am getting worried about how blossom will be - especially with a late night (anything after 6.30 is late for her lol). 

I just wanted to hear of others experiences of special events/out of the norm day?  I've written a list of everything we need to take with us including things like her bedtime lotion am trying to be organised & don't want to forget anything lol. She has been home 3 months now & doing so well, we've begun stretching her days and is doing well with it so fingers crossed sat will be ok! 

Hope everyone is doing well & enjoying life as mummy/daddy! (I couldn't be happier!)


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## dandlebean (Feb 24, 2013)

Hi M2B   Mine go to bed at 6ish too, so we've had a couple of late, 'out of routine' days now. 

The first one was a housewarming party a couple of hours drive away. We tried to keep the morning as normal as possible and then we gave them an early lunch and hoped the kids could nap on the way there, as they usually go for their naps right after lunch (didn't really work, they only fell asleep right at the end of the journey). Because we would be late home, we assumed they'd also fall asleep in the car on the way home and we could just carry them to their beds when we got back. That was a disaster though! They did fall asleep, but woke up a little when we were bringing them in. They still seemed tired and half asleep, so I put them both straight in their cots. But DD hates having her routine broken, even slightly, so the lack of bedtime routine with books/bath/cuddles + bottle/In The Night Garden really upset her and she cried and cried for hours   We took plenty of bottles with us on that one, as that's their comfort thing and we hoped they'd be a good distraction if they got upset for any reason. We didn't need them in the end though. We took toys with us too but they weren't touched. There was too much going on and a new house with new things to explore (and potentially break, which I found a bit stressful).  They were fine the whole time we were there though, they didn't seem overtired or crabby at any point. I did try to take them into quieter rooms wherever possible, but that may not be easy at a wedding.  

The second time we had a longer day it was a meal out with a group of friends, so we were back late again. Again, they didn't seem to be too tired whilst we were out, though there were a few tears from having to sit at the table for any longer than a few minutes. This time, I still did the bedtime routine when we got home. It was late and we were all exhausted, but that still seemed to work a lot better and it meant that the kids slept happily once they were in their beds, rather than crying for hours. Oh, and I gave them their nap later that day so they'd last the evening. 

It will probably be easier than you expect and I hope you all have an amazing time!


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