# Green form!!!!!



## tag4e (Jan 31, 2006)

Hya all,

I really hope I dont offend anyone here but I really need some advice!!

Me and DH have been ttc for 2 years and have been told that due to my DHs   we are going to need fertility tx, probably IVF maybe ICSI  

We have an appt at Lister next thursday (6th) to which we are hoping to be accepted onto their egg share scheme.

I have been reading through posts on here and there is a few posts that mention a 'green form'  Am I right in thinking that when you egg share you have to write a message to any child born from my eggs that Im donating!!!!

I have to be honest and say that I am not very comfortable with this, I am very happy to donate eggs but would really rather not know of any children born from them!! And to write a message to a possible child would make it feel like I am giving a child away!!

Any feedback, greatly appreciated 

Love Tracey
xxxx


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## aweeze (Nov 8, 2005)

Hi Tracey

Yes there is a Green Form that is required by the HFEA. The section that you refer to is some of the information that would be made available to the child once they reach the age of 18 (or 16 if they are getting married). You are not obliged to complete this particular section and you have to do what you feel most comfortable with.

If you are accepted on to the egg share scheme your clinic should offer you implications counselling and I would urge you to do it because since the law changed in 2005, any resulting child can choose to find out about their genetic parent when they reach 18 and you therefore may have little option in finding out about the child(ren) in years to come. Whilst you don't need to know whether your recipients treatment was successful or not, you will need to become accepting of the fact that you may find out in 18 years time if they seek information on you.

I think that when considering egg share, as well as considering your own feelings it is very important to consider how the resulting child(ren) may feel about it in the future. Whilst I hope that any children that result from me sharing my eggs will lead a happy and fulfilled life and will feel comfortable enough with who they are without ever feeling that they need to know who I am, I am also aware that for some people it is important to know your origins.

I very much feel that in giving away my eggs, I was giving away some cells that would have perished otherwise. A child could never come into being without the fathers sperm and the child will only be the person they become once they are grown and nurtured by the people that raise them. It's in thinking in this way that I am able to remain detached. My eggs were collected 2 weeks ago on Monday and my recipient received 8. The day they were handed over as far as I am concerned they became hers. I can honestly say that since then the only thought that I have had about them is whether they will have been lucky for her and I hope that regardless of whether I get a bfn or bfp this week, I feel confident that I will continue to feel that way and wouldn't hesitate in going through egg share again. If, in 18 years time, I hear from a young adult born as a result of my donation, even if I have been unable to be a mummy myself, I still hope that I will feel that what I did was a positive thing for that other family. 

I'm sorry to have rambled on and I can understand the way you are feeling. I do feel from your post  (and I could be totally wrong) that whilst you say you are happy to donate eggs, you haven't quite come to terms with the implications of egg donation yet and I hope that in sharing my feelings, it might help you in some way. It's such an important and difficult decision and you need to be secure in what you choose to do.

Good luck for you appointment on Thursday..

Lou
X


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## tag4e (Jan 31, 2006)

Hya lou,

Thank you for that reply. 

I think you are right. I am very unsure about donating my eggs, but I really do appreciate your positive views and hope that I will be able to feel like you do in time.

I have felt very pressured lately and I am so very nervous about our first appt next week.
It all seems unreal at the moment, we only found out in January that we were going to need fertility tx and even though I am prepared for tx, I wasnt expecting to feel so many emotions so soon.  

You have really helped me see things a different way. I now realise that whatever we decide to do, I need to be 100% sure .

Thank you again.

Love Tracey
xxxx


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## Quiet storm (Feb 20, 2006)

I have eggshared twice and I feel the same way too.
1st time had 14-gave out 7
2nd time had 20- gave out 10.

As far as am concerned any resulting baby isn't mine. In the future after I have had all my babies ( God willing). I will give out more eggs. The way I see it, is it would otherwise have perished.


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