# how do i get over this?



## casey (Sep 26, 2004)

Ive just had my 3rd BFN with DE IVF - itested early so ive known for a couple of days what the result was likely to be - at the moment ive cried soildly for the past two days - last night i went to sleep crying and woke up crying you'd think that having gone thru this twice before id be preepared and would know how to handle it, but this has really hit me hard - i haven't even got the heart to feel angry or that it is unfair etc or anything of things i felt before- i just want to find a big hole and crawl inside to hide away - 
It took me all my strneght today to get up and get dressed, and i cant see past the next ten minutes - ive tried to be positive and think about trying again but i just cannot stop crying - how do i gather my strength and recover 

caseyxx


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## allison kate (Aug 9, 2005)

Oh Sweety, I'm so sorry you are feeling so low 

You post sounds just like the one I wrote two weeks ago.  Your emotions are so raw at the moment and you must give yourself time to grieve.  When you want something so badly, the shock and upset of losing the dream is totally awful.  You will get stronger hun but please don't be hard on yourself, it is so early since your result.  I really hope you can get a follow-up appointment quickly, this helped me a lot to focus on the future.

My thoughts are with you and your DH, be strong for each other and may all your dreams come true and your hearts be filled.

Much love
Allison xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jayb (Apr 22, 2005)

Casey

I am really sorry to hear your news, I had a cycle recently and had a very early miscarriage even before I could test. It is so hard and unfair. It does get easier, had good days and bad days. A friend has just had her second baby and that was really hard and another has announced her pregnancy.
I hope that if you decide to try again it brings you success and happiness.

Take Care
Lots of Love 
Jaybxx


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## twiggy2 (Dec 12, 2004)

Hi Casey 

I am so sorry to hear your news I have been reading your messages on the other boards and was hoping that you had just tested too early.

You are not on your own there are many of us on here in the same boat and hopefully we can all help each other to find the strength to move on.

The only way I find it easier to cope is by planning another go, however this time I really havent got the strength to plan another attempt. I am also considering immunolgy testing but cant pluck up the courage to look into it.

Sending you a big hug and please take good care of yourself.

Love Twiggy X


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## pampi (Sep 5, 2005)

Hi Casey, I am soooooo sorry I have just had the same news as you and my third time too. I think we are in the same place I cant stop crying, dh told me I was crying whilst sleeping. Know what you mean, third time, and its the worst. You think you will be able to cope with the disapointment but its just catastrophic, feel like the world is lying on my chest. Cant give up on my/our dream but dont know if I have the strength to go on with this. Look like I have been on a diet lost so much weight in the last two days. I did a test early as well to help cope but its not worked.
Everyone partying for Xmas and all I want to do is crawl into the same dark hole as you, maybe see you there for a crimbo drink (bottle of vodka each clearly we need to have some Gin, no bicardi Gin is too upsetting, as a mixer)
I am starting to look like Betty Davis my eyes are popping out my head.  
If we decide to find the strength to go through this again maybe you could be my cycle buddy.
L & K's
Pampi


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

just wanted to send you a big   take it one step at a time hun 

pam xx


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## casey (Sep 26, 2004)

girls 
i had beta blood test today which showed a very low positive at 12.5 
im now in limbo land till monday to see if levels are doubling - nurse didn't sound very positive and it may well end up as m/c or bio-chem pg but im in a better position than yesterday  

caseyxx


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## pampi (Sep 5, 2005)

hi casey,just reading your last note, thats great news ? Did you have a neg urine but pos blood? i dont know what a chemial preg is .But good luck for mon i will be thinking about you . Take care and good luck pampix


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## als2003flower (Aug 4, 2005)

Hi Casey

sending you lots of       for Monday's test...

    

Good Luck Hun and try to stay really positive 

alsxx


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## casey (Sep 26, 2004)

Thank you girls but wjilst my beta went up on Monday from 12.5 to 16, I had another blood test today and it has droped to 0 so it was bio-chem pg and now i just wait for AF to start - don't know whether this is counted as a m/c or not - but it feels like one because i prayed so hard that my little embie would make it once the beta started rising - this feels like a very cruel blow right now and i am heart-broken - my only plan is to get thru the next couple of days bit by bit then look to the future    

caseyxxx


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## pampi (Sep 5, 2005)

Casey, Im so sorry to hear what happened with your blood test today.I cannot imagine how you are feeling.I hope that in the days and week s to come that you can find the strength to pick your wee self up, thinking of you, pampi x


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