# 3rd BFN



## justone (Sep 10, 2010)

Hi there...
Feeling really down today as DH and I got our 3rd BFN after our 3rd ICSI tx cycle. We don't have any children. Both now too old (41 and 1/2; DH 42 and 1/2) and too broke to try again. Wondering if any of you are in a similar position and want to share your story with me. Thanks for taking time to read this. xox


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## MrsClarke35 (Feb 16, 2012)

Hi there,

I got my third BFN last Sunday and I'm heartbroken. 

You'd think that with experience things would become easier to deal with, but they don't do they? I feel more lost now than I ever have and sometimes you wonder if it's worth carrying on. I'm lucky (if that's the word), the NHS has looked after me wonderfully and I've had the maximum numbers of IVF runs with frozen embryo's to boot. This is what's hard, still no luck. 

I wish you every bit of luck for the future, wherever it may lead you. Find pleasure where you can and do not let this terrible situation take over your life .


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## justone (Sep 10, 2010)

Thank you so much Mrs. Clarke for taking time to read and reply to my post. I am so sorry to hear of your 3rd BFN. I wholeheartedly agree with you about feeling lost this time more than any other time. Here in NI we're only entitled to a single IVF cycle and it has to begin before your 40th b'day. My 1st ICSI cycle which was NHS funded was right before my 40th b'day, Since then DH and I have self-funded 2 more ICSI cycles. Unfortunately I had no snow babies in any of my 3 cycles. So here we are, childless and broke. DH and I are going to save for a nice holiday for ourselves in July. DH is due to undergo a kidney transplant in the next few weeks. (He's going to be a living donor for his dad.) By July hopefully he'll be fit and well enough to travel.  Have you any plans as to what you intend to do with yourself?


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## Jen xx (Mar 14, 2011)

So sorry to both of use on ur results,I can only imagine how heartbreakin it is!I'm in NI too and thinks its ridiculous that we get one go on NHS,we were one of the lucky ones cos it did work for us but I've friends who have had numerous and still nothing!!best of luck for the future ladies

Jenna xx


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## Bub (Sep 22, 2008)

I could not read and run as I know exactly how you are feeling right now. We too had our 3rd BFN a few weeks ago. I had quite a bad fortnight where the prevailing feelings were anger and helplessness. Now, three weeks on, I'm starting to feel a bit stronger. Give yourself time to grieve and get lots of rest. IVF is emotionally, physically and financially draining - and after three negatives it feels three times as bad.


For us, we have found taking some control back has really helped. To do that, we've talked (a lot) about other options and agreed to have further investigations. I'm starting to realise that although I would have loved to experience pregnancy, it is being a parent that matters more. Adoption is a very attractive prospect right now


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## Bub (Sep 22, 2008)

Sorry posting from iPhone and message was cut off!

I realise that adoption isn't for everyone though. Have you had your follow-up appt yet? Perhaps it will shed some light on your situation and help you to make decisions about the way forward.

I feel for everyone in this boat. But my best advice is to look forward and keep paddling! The choppy waters have to subside at some point...

Xxx


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## MJ1 (Aug 8, 2011)

Hi Justone,

I know exactly how you feel, we had our 4th BFN on Boxing Day! oh what a great Chritmas we had  . Awful and probably compounded with the fact that it was Chrismtmas. 
Any advice I can give to ladies is don't cycle over Christmas because if it is not the result you want it can be devastating. 

We decided to book a holiday, 2 in fact, one later this month to Paris and a Meditteranean cruise in the summer. It has cheered us up and makes a change not to be parting with £'ss to fertility clinics and nothing to show for it. As my sig says we are having a year out. I am 42 in August so time is ticking but we will see how we feel next year.

Lot of hugs to you and keep your chin up, unfortunatley there are alot of us with BFN's.....
MJ1 xxx


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## wehavethreecats (Feb 12, 2012)

hi justone
I've only had one BFN, so haven't had to go through what you and your partner have.
It sounds as though you should have enough karma saved up for some really positive things in your lives; I'm so sorry it hasn't worked out for you. It is so incredibly sad. 
I've been told our (current) second cycle of IVF probably won't work. We are looking at donor egg IVF next, but that is really expensive. And emotionally, incredibly hard (for me, DH is less concerned with the emotional part and more intent on being a dad whatever it takes!).
Hope you have something comforting planned for the weekend. 
x


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

have you seen the multiple BFNers thead  
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=278544.0


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