# Random waking in the night to play/Immiginary friend



## Poppets Mammy

Well guys, here's a puzzler  

Poppet has been sleeping through the night perfectly for months, we had a rocky start with sleep early in placement but we 'trained' her out of bad habits and with the help of a gro clock.

Every now and again she would wake up before the gro clock changed into the sun, it was just 10-20mins or so so she would potter around and talk to her teddies etc until the clock changed to a sun. This was quite acceptable.

More recently she would sometimes wake up 1hr - 1.5hrs before the clock changed, this was not so acceptable. Depending on the time I would either encourage her back to sleep or allow her to play. I then altered the clock so the sun came up a little earlier as it appeared she just simply didn't need 13hrs anymore and didn't want her waiting too long.

Two nights this week she's woken in the middle of the night, turned her lamp on and set up a play camp in her bed under the quilt. We hear everything over the monitor. She giggles away, talking and singing etc. very cute but not at 3am!! The first night I explained it was the middle of the night, turned her lamp off and told her to go back to sleep - she appeared confused as if she thought it was morning time. She complied and went to sleep. The next day I talked to her about it and it seemed to be an honest mistake and she understood she couldn't do that. 3 normal nights - problem solved we thought!!  

Last night she did it again, I repeated what I did the first night, all went quiet and I thought she'd gone back to sleep, 40mins later she was giggling and talking again! I went back in and told her firmly, she went to sleep after that. She slept past her normal wake up time as clearly was shattered from being up in the night. She's been a tired toddler all day   Hard work!!

I've also noticed this week she appears to be talking to an imaginary friend when playing. Co-incidence or not?!? When she sets up play camp under the quilt it's like she's playing with someone else - a little spooky I know.

What's going on? Anybody else had their little ones playing in the night randomly??

It's a tricky one because how can you force them to sleep, well you just can't can you. She doesn't come in for us or shout for us etc, she's just minding her own business happily playing away. But obviously we can't let her continue with it, she'll be like a zombie 😴

Any thoughts??


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## goldbunny

why is an imaginary friend spooky? it's just a way of thinking out loud and trying to role-play and understand the world. no idea how you sort the time thing though.


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## Poppets Mammy

I don't think an imaginary friend is spooky, hearing her talking to no-one in the middle of the night is a little spooky.


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Pm  hope it soon passes and she goes back to her normal sleep patterns really soon. My fil died during our journey and we had a photo of him in our living room which was taken about 30 years ago and bubba pointed at it and said grandad!!! Needless to say photo got moved fairly quickly. Dh wasn't home at the time and he didn't believe me and she did it again. Was a truly bizarre moment.


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## coweyes

Dont a lot of children play with imaginary friends and talk to them? thought it was common, im guessing its pretty eary to hear it over the monitor though.  Can you buy a sleeping dolly or something and say the dolly is asleep so if she wakes in the night she has to not make a noise and lie back down and try to sleep as to not wake dolly up?


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## kandykane

How old is your LO? My DS went through a phase of this a couple of months ago (he was 2 in July) he would randomly play for an hour in the middle of the night, or more usually sing for an hour. Really cute to hear but not the best timing! I just left him to it and eventually he stopped doing it. I didn't change his daytime naps though as I wanted him to be tired enough at bedtime to sleep through, instead of making up for the lost hour in the daytime.
DS also talks to himself and to his toys and teddies, I think it's pretty normal.


aaa - in our old house it happened a few times that DS looked up at the doorway sharply as if someone had just walked in, gave a big grin and said 'Hi'. Kids have open minds


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## Poppets Mammy

Kandykane - she's just turned 3. She doesn't have daytime naps anymore apart from when she's under the weather etc. I kept her awake all of yesterday for that same reason, I kept reminding her that she felt so grumpy and tired because she tried to play through the night. It's reassuring to hear you've been through it and it was just a phase. She's up now (06:40) playing and talking, she asked me in to check if it was sleep time or morning, the sun on her clock comes on at 7am so I said she was fine to play and well done for asking. She's slept all night. Hopefully it's just been a little hiccup and she'll get back to normal. Was just curious really to whether people had experienced it and what they did about it. Didn't want her getting into a habit of doing it but didn't want to make a huge fuss over it either if you know what I mean. Thank you for posting.

Coweyes - I really don't mind the imaginary friend and talking to herself etc, it's a positive part of development and a very useful tool in our circumstances. It was the random playing in the night I was questioning. If it continues I'll try telling her the teddies are asleep and Shhhhh don't wake them, no doubt I'll be bombarded with lots of Why questions   Worth a try though, thanks.

AAA - thanks Hun, had a better night so fingers crossed   Ive heard a few spooky stories like yours and Kandykane's. I do believe kids are aware of things we adults prob don't notice or aren't susceptible to if you get my drift. In particular one of my cousins when younger used to randomly smile and wave into the hall way and up the stairs and when my Aunty or Uncle asked what he was doing he replied every time with 'saying hello to the man' Fascinating aren't they. I have a picture of my late gran who I was very close to. Poppet always asks about her and recently asked if she could use her pennies (she had 2 x 2p coins in her hand) to help make her better and bring her back   Very sweet and a lovely innocent idea, bless her heart.


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## snapdragon

My lo recently went through a phase of waking in the night and laughing and playing with his toys. The first time my husband leapt out of bed wondering what was happening. He has an Upsy Daisy and Iggle Piggle in his cot and it was weird hearing them plus the laughing in the middle of the night. fingers crossed it seems to have stopped. We just left him to it.


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## Arrows

Our son does this every now and again too -he's 22mths and since starting to get an imagination around 18mths he's done it. We ignored it like Kandykane. Doesn't do it very often, but he has a bear, Rodney, that he talks to. 
The other day he picked up my phone, held it to his ear and said "Bone Rodney. Ningin Mummy. Rodney?!" (Phone Rodney. Ringing Mummy. Rodney?) It was adorable.


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## Mummy Noodles!

Hi Poppet's Mammy! Ive no real words of wisdom....


....only thing I can think of is LO really, really tired?? I need to do LOADS of active things. Typical day - 2 hrs soft play, 2 hrs play group, one hour walk (some in pram), visit friend and time in the garden - rain or not) Our LO definitely has Duracell batteries I think!!    Thankfully I am an active person so it's a good match! He never gets a sleep during the day now... and this all has stopped the 6am starts    He isnt up during the night - sounds like Poppet is processing things though which is really good! Imaginary friend also very, very  common if not somewhat eery in the MIDDLE of the night! LOL! ...I'm sure this is another stage and it will pass.   


Hope all the advice is helping you. All we do is worry about our precious LOs    Take care, 


Noodles XX


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Pm that is so.sweet. I have never believed in anything like it before but since bubba came home there have been several weird and wonderful things happen and I am sure he is here with her. He was so upset when it became obvious he wasn't going to be able fight long enough to meet his sons lo. I remember sitting on his bed I held his had and said I promised bubba would always know he was and how special he was and he smiled and just said yes. 

Pleased u had a better night we didn't    little monkies


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## Poppets Mammy

Thanks Snapdragon & Arrows for your replies and reassurance

Noodles - She's Deff tired enough to sleep and not over tired. Which is why it's so bizzare that she's awake at silly O'clock trying to play, how is she even awake, what's waked her up etc etc DH's response is 'it could be a number of things, don't worry about it'   I'm not worried, curious more than anything, I like to ask questions and try and figure out what it's all about. Plus it was such a battle to get a proper bedtime routine and sleeping pattern in place I really don't want it disrupting. I'm sure we all know the wrath of a tired toddler  

AAA - Sad he lost his fight before bubba came home but I think he will of found comfort in knowing you would talk about him to LO, very touching. Eeee they are little monkeys aren't they, wired but wonderful little people who can be infuriating but amazing all at once   xx


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## MummyElf

I have no answers but my LO is 14 months and has been singing to herself at 3am and 5am a couple of times...chatting, singing.

I'm sure imaginary friends are all very natural, but I too would be a bit weirded out if my LO seemed to be talking to someone at night, however developmentally appropriate it is!

Last night she was singing to herself in the small hours of the morning (she doesn't get up until 7am) and I reeeeally needed a wee but knew she'd hear me and start making a fuss so held it....woke up with a full and painful bladder! My dad told me babies hearing is much, much better than adults (ours decreases over time) and they hear things we wouldn't detect which explains how she sometimes sense me when I think I'm being as quiet as a mouse....I'd decided she had a sixth sense or could pick up on my scent / perfume  

I hope it sorts itself out. I have to say I don't use the baby monitor at night as her room is by ours and I wake up if she so much as sighs. The night she's been singing and chattering at 3am are the nights I wish I had earplugs as I find it impossible to switch off her noises and every noise jerks me awake, which is really annoying when she's just been singing and talking at 3am for an hour whilst DH snores blissfully beside me


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## Poppets Mammy

Thanks for the support Mummyelf, I'm just reassured it seems to be a common thing that children do now and again. We mute the monitor at night so it only turns on if loud noises/crying detected. But she's been that loud it comes over the monitor as well as me hearing it across the hall   Thankfully she slept through again last night , had a very solid 13.5hrs as she was shattered. She just falls apart when tired, she just can't cope with sleep deprivation (just like her mammy  ) and I'm very protective of our night time routine as it was so hard to introduce one to her and get her sleeping through. Perhaps I'm feeling a bit controlling in that I WANT her to sleep and not play/sing/talk as I know she'll be tired the next day but there's nothing really I can do to MAKE her sleep, Perhaps I should ignore it.
I have the same prob with DH snoring through, it's so frustrating when your trying to switch off from listening to LO and then you can't stop listening to the snoring   I elbow him till he moves position, tee hee xx


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## MummyElf

I normally elbow, poke or (gently, but have done it quite hard) kick him a bit   Is there anything more annoying than someone snoring like a pig?!


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## Mummy Noodles!

Hi PM! Hope things are a bit more settled. Had a good laugh at your comment :

DH's response is *'it could be a number of things, don't worry about it' * " = so funny! That's exactly what my DH would say and my response would be the same as yours!!!!!!!  I think we're definitely on different planets! Lol

Noodles  xx


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## Poppets Mammy

Thanks for the replies everyone, just wanted to update you all

Everything seems a bit more normal. We've not had any more episodes of the middle of the night waking and playing - thankfully. Normally we'd not hear a peep from her before 7 but this week she's been waking at 6:30/6:40 and talking and playing till 7:00 which is much more acceptable. Yesterday she tried it at 5:30 and despite being told to go back to sleep continued playing till 7:00, she was grumpy and tired, fell asleep and lunch time but over all I think she learnt a lesson. This morning she said 'Me not grumpy anymore as stay asleep on my bed' bless her. 
I think the night time waking was partly due to the darker mornings coming in, somehow I think it mixed her up as morning was dark so when waking in night she would think it was morning. I hadn't expected that, I know the light mornings can disrupt things but didn't think the dark ones would. Anyway we seem back on track now  

Imaginary friends is here every day now, she even came with me to pick poppet up from nursery on fri apparently   Hahahaha xx


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## Wyxie

I just felt like I had to add, that the basic idea (not the middle of the night bit) is lovely.  Imaginative children are such a joy to be around generally.  I love it when I can capture Wyxling's imagination, and occasionally she does things like this (when she's just been put to bed, not in the middle of the night, lucky for us she sleeps like a stone) and I find it incredibly reassuring, given how hard it is for me to get her to play when she knows I'm around and my engagement and cooperation in everything is of course required!

Glad you're all getting more sleep.


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## Poppets Mammy

I totally spoke to soon!!

She's at it again. It's not every night and we have a run of it not happening then she does it again.

A few thoughts/observations I've had:-
1) she's starting to have bladder control on a night and it tends to coincide with her waking for a wee and then not going back to sleep and deciding to play instead.
2) She normally just talks to herself or has imaginary play but this morning - well it looked like a toy bomb had gone off 
3) I've read that a change in sleep pattern and being awake/playing in the night comes hand in hand with a big developmental leep - which she is Deff having! Anybody know more on this or any recommended reads about child development??
4) sometimes she behaves like it is getting up time and we are having a lie in! She doesn't seem to accept that it's the middle of the night. I think the dark mornings are disrupting things as well. God help us come the clock change  

We've started a sticker chart (she loves them) and said if she stays in bed quiet and sleeps/rests all night she gets a sticker in the morning. No playing. No talking. 

She just doesn't function well with less sleep, in fact none of us do. I've had a crapy morning due to it, my brain feels numb and neither of us have been on full form, she looked shattered and sad when I dropped her off at nursery. Got in the car and cried - it's just one of those days. Got home and made a Nutella cake in a mug, put some ice cream on top and ate the whole lot like a right little piggy. I needed it


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## SummerTilly

What in the world is a Nutella cake?

Seems like essential dining for us mummies and mummies to be to combat sleepless nights  

Is it the same as a cake mix cake (you make the cake mix and eat it before baking...) 

Sugar rush!


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## Poppets Mammy

SummerTilly -   it's essential

Just google cake in a mug, there's loads of variations but I use the Nuttela cake in a mug recipe. It was developed by students as a quick and easy way of doing cakey goodness 😋 It's disgustingly good, the amount of oil that goes into it makes me shudder but if you get passed that it's really tasty. You literally just mix the ingredients together in a large mug and microwave for a few minutes. It's ideal for days like I've had.

We picked our little sleepy zombie up from nursery this evening and she looked I'll she was that tired, she would normally have a snack and a bath post Wed afternoon nursery but she just had a wash and went straight to bed. Reminded her before bed that she'll get a sticker if she sleeps all night and doesn't play. Fingers crossed


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## MummyElf

Hi PM

Just to say we've been having the night waking to play a lot now these last few weeks and after 2-3 episodes last night I was pretty fed up this morning. Upon looking it up I have discovered its definitely a developmental thing - she's learning new words and sounds and on the very cusp of walking, as well as at 15 months they start to dream apparently. Whilst I'm delighted she's doing so well, and she really is, I'm so proud of her, it isn't easy as I wake up when she so much as turns over and find myself awake for ages afterwards. So ** this is where all the other mums look horrified and shoot me ** I've ordered ear plugs. They will block out the low level noises like singing, chatting etc but I will hear if she cries....but DH will anyway, it's just I'm an incredibly light sleeper and frankly a horrible mum when I'm sleep deprived and I am so exhausted with waking for every mumble she makes or DH snoring and then being awake with my mind whirring half the night.

With my next LO joining us in 3 weeks time, I need to be starting intros in a non-zombie state.

I'm not saying its for everyone, and I know many would be appalled, but her room is right by ours and I will hear any distress, she has an extremely loud cry / shout - but the night time performances at 10.30, 12.00 and 3.30 (with me up at 2.00 for a wee) totally got to me last night!

Xx


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## Arrows

Afraid I'm in a similar boat -he wakes either chatting away, shouting, playing or screaming hysterics -usually 3-5am. So fed up with it as I check he's got his dummy, he's tucked in, has his teddy, Rodney, and isn't dirty. After 45mins last night I got mean.
"It is na-night's time. If you do not stop this nonsense I will take away Rodney." Almost instant silence and he then stayed quiet and went back to sleep. Sleep deprivation does NOT a happy mummy make!


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## MummyElf

How old is your LO Arrows? Because as a rule the night time 'performances' do tend to be between 3am and 5am....strange! But perhaps if I'd been in bed since 6.30pm (what a delicious thought!) I'd be feeling chipper at 3am too!


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## Arrows

Mummyelf, LO is 23mths and learning loads at the moment (so may be as suggested by someone else, processing new info).
He needs his sleep and usually does around 2hrs at naptime and if less than an hour he is utterly horrible the rest of the day, Then at night he does 6pm-7am, with waking up most nights for lost dummy 1-4 times and now this play a couple of times a week.  Occasionally I get an entire undisturbed night but incredibly rare.
We plan on phasing out the dummy, which is currently only used for sleep times, by the time he's 2.5yrs.
He's currently singing to himself in his bedroom having been put to bed an hour ago. At that point he's been screaming with exhaustion for 45mins.


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## MummyElf

Good golly....time for a glass of wine for you! X


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I'm all up for earplugs! We used to use the monitor at night but I was hearing everything and it just kept me awake all hours, unable to drop off again while DH snored! So now we only use it if we are downstairs or when I wake up in the morning to hear if he's chatting.  Our LO came home at 27 months and is now over 2 and a half and the HV said we sure don't need a monitor and normally would only recommend one for babies (bedroom a wee bit away from ours) as we'll know if he really needs us.  Now he only wakes up 1-2 times occasionally and usually because he's lost his dummy but we use a dummy clip so it just that he's not really awake and can't get it back in.  He hardly ever wakes for more than a minute or two, as long as it takes for us to go in, give him back his dummy and tuck him back in. 

Everyone needs sleep, some more than others, so you need to get it however you can.  I am also a miserable mother if I'm sleep deprived!  xxx


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## SummerTilly

Not to throw a spanner in the works - but how are you going to deal with the clocks going back at the weekend?  

Do you make bedtimes earlier gradually or what? 

Ah the joys I've got to come!  Also, if you are getting earplugs - get the silicone ones - they're far more effective and plus as a mummy, the mummy bit of your brain will be alert for baby crying. 

You're right - you need all the rest you can get now.  I've had 3 sleepless nights back to back in preparation for matching panel, so am looking forward to a good sleep tonight xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Agree, silicone plugs deff the best.  Boots do their own


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## Poppets Mammy

Mummyelf and Arrows - I'm really sorry to hear your lo's are doing the same through the night but also glad to hear it's not just us  

I to have read that big developmental leaps can cause this sort of sleep disruption and I'd Deff describe poppet as having a developmental leap as she's learning so much at the min as well. Thankfully our middle of the night antics have stopped and we've just got early morning antics. More recently from 6:00 onwards which isn't totally an unsociable hour but a lot earlier than normal for her and has been impacting on her during the day. After trying a few different ways of dealing with it we decided to change her bedtime to a constant 7:30pm (she'll be asleep by then where previously it was a bit fluid between 6:00 and 7:30 depending on the day we had) this way she gets a bit more time with DH on a night and ensures that she's unlikely to wake before 06:30am and she'll of had a min of 11hrs sleep which is her min to be able to function properly. Alongside that we've decided to ignore and go easy on her with any early morning fooling around - I'll explain why in a min. The past few days with our 'new plan of action' she's been out like a light at 7:30pm and she hasn't woke before 06:40 (doesn't leave her room before 07:00am as she waits for the sun on her gro clock), this morning she didn't come into our room until just after 07:00 and we hadn't heard a peep out of her before that so fingers crossed the whole thing is starting to correct itself  
I've also been told by some Mammy friends that they get sleep disturbances this time of year as well due to the darker nights and mornings mixing things up for them, so that's another reassuring explanation.
We have decided to go easy on Poppet as she doesn't seem to be able to switch her imagination of, she's in her own little world a lot at the min and we were worried we were stressing her out banging on at her about not talking or playing during the night. She's always been a hair twirler but in the past few weeks I've noticed her pushing her hair off her face and flicking her hair ALOT. To the point where her hairs been getting greesy and full of food   I looked into it and apparently it's a nervous tic that can be caused by emotional trauma or stress. Apparently it's common in children and often passes in a few months but can get worse and cause social problems in adult good if it doesn't - this worries me greatly so we are lifting all pressure from her at the min to try and help. As well as her imaginary play at night we've also been introducing night time toileting which we've never put any pressure onto her for but she seems to be putting pressure on herself. She's so pleased when she has a dry nappy in the morning and is devastated if it's wet. 

God this parenting malarky is tricky and stressful isn't it!

Mummyelf I don't think your a horrible mammy for getting ear plugs. You've got to do what's best for everyone. It's no good if your sleep deprived and grumpy, I think we all empathise with that feeling. 

SummerTilly - no idea about the clocks changing, I think we are just going to ignore it. Obviously we'll change the clocks but just stick to normal (albeit new) bedtime. Wish us luck  

XxX


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Normally we'd look forward to the clocks going back but I can't see BB sleeping in for an extra hour lol!  Maybe we'll keep him up a bit later if he has a nap...


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## Wyxie

Be very surprised if we get an extra hour's sleep!  

Hubby has some time off at the start of next week so we'll have a few days to normalise.  I'll just put them to bed at the normal time on Sunday, but of course it will feel like an hour later to them, and then hope that they sleep later on Monday morning.  Seem to remember it sorted itself out pretty easily last year.

Bladelet is waking in the night at the moment too, he does from time to time.  He wakes about 4 in the morning, spends an hour or so singing to himself and playing.  Somewhat oddly, given I'm a terrible sleeper generally, I have no problems going back to sleep.  He's not very loud, and he sounds so happy, I can just hear him burbling and gurgling and occasionally a giggle, and perhaps oddly, I find it a really comforting sound and I just go straight back off.  On the other hand the slightest noise from Wyxling's room and I can't settle again properly for hours.  I think it's just because Bladelet is generally happy and content in his cot, and if Wyxling wakes and doesn't call for me, which is rare thankfully, she gets into quite a self-destructive mood and sometimes hurts herself.


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## Poppets Mammy

Well we thought we'd started to resolve up but I seemed to of spoke to soon as 04:30 Poppet was awake talking and giggling to herself this morning. Gentle reminder that it was night time and she should be sleeping. Returned to our bedroom, turned monitor off as She was still carrying on and I would of wound myself up if I continued to listen to her and I'm trying to not be strict and make a fuss over it. She shouted of me at 06:40 as needed a wee, did her thing and lay talking until the sun came up on her clock at 07:00. I have no idea what she did between 04:30-06:40, I'd like to think she fell asleep at some point but seeing the state of her this morning I think it is unlikely as she was a red eyed zombie and crashed asleep in the car after lunch. Could she really of been awake talking and laughing from 04:30-07:00    ?!?! Mind boggles!
My instinct tells me I should be firm and strict with her but my head is telling me to go easy on her. It's hard not to follow instinct especially when it's worked well previously. God only knows what will happen when the clocks change. I think I'll give it another week and see what happens then my inner mammy will come out  

Xx


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