# Feeling so upset, desperate and panicky! Part 2



## Tillypops

Happy panicking!!


----------



## Katie4

Ooh I'm first!!!!!! Admittedly I have nothing constructive to write as I'm
Shattered but I'll be back tomorrow x


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh - I thought I had beat everyone to it   

Will post more later - still trying to wake up after LO's ridiculous getting up time today   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

My goodness pocket, that is very early    How are you feeling? You must be off on your hols this weekend?

Chris - hope you have had a terrific time. 

LouLou, how are you feeling today hun? It's such a rollercoaster even considering treatment so no wonder you have been feeling low. Also, being realistic is sensible but there are lots of little miracles out there so try to keep just a little bit of optimism in reserve    and I will say, from what I have read about DHEA it can have really amazing and very positive effects. The stuff I read was from a US fertility clinic and they had also been comparing results with a Canadian clinic. 

Notty, hope you are feeling OK. 

Aurelia, do what seems right for you and the LO. She's still very young so carrying on Bf and waiting till Christmas sounds like a sound decision. (although when you have been TTC for a long time it does become a habit/hobby/compulsion (!) (or it did for me) so it's only natural you are already thinking about all aspects of going for no 2. 

LynS - know you haven't been on for a while but we still think of you.   

Thanks for all the encouragement about night toilet training, TBH I'm still hoping it's a phase. Last night she did a tiny wee in her nappy, took it off and hid it and then went to sleep.    But by morning her nappy was pretty wet so I think this is a bad habit now. She knows she's not supposed to do it. Think I will leave it until we come back from CP and see what is happening then. 

Katie x


----------



## louloumay

Oooh a new home!

Got a stinking cold   poor me.

Just sneaking in a quick post before DP gets back with LO. Just wanted to say a quick hello.

Back soon with personals

xx


----------



## aurelia

Hi girls, just checking in before we go away to my parents in Dorset tomorrow for a few days. Hope you are all well   

Lanora is proper hands and knees crawling now and my head has straightened itself out so we're doing good. We've decided to definitely wait for FET because we do actually want to move to Canada in the future and there is no way we could leave our little Fridgeler so it's best for us to try that first and go from there, then we are free to roam with all our family together. My Aunt wrote to tell me that she is leaving us her house over there in her will so that helped make our decision a lot easier, a big weight off to know what we're doing.

loulou - hope you get better soon   

Katie - hope you have  lovely time at CP! We've never been, there is one about 15 miles away from us though.

PR - hope your LO has given you a bit more of a lie in today   

Chris, Notty, Lyns - Hope you all have a lovely relaxing bh weekend


----------



## Katie4

Gosh it's very quiet - I'm guessing that's because it's holiday time?

Chris I think you are back now? Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. 

Pocket you must be heading off now or be there

Aurelia hope you had a good journey and enjoy time with your parents.

Loulou I think that just leaves you and me!  

(Admittedly we are off to CP (Sherwood) on Fri but unti then I shall be here).

Have thought long and hard about sharing what happened in my world this week and decided to tell you all despite it all being excrutiatingly painful. 

As you all know I set a deadline of 1st June for my DH to say yey or nay on the TTC no 2 situation. Well, after 16 months of no and my quite literally having to grieve and then get over the concept of having another he then started to shift towards a don't know and we sat in limbo for 2 months and then, in the last 4 weeks he's been giving me a mild green light but I was sat back trying not to get excited untill it was official. So Friday night he said yes. Why no dancing bananas? because I actually couldn't believe it. I was happy but it didn't really sink in. So, Friday was day 14 so we did what was required(!) and it wasn't at all stressful or pressured (you all know what BMS can be like sometimes!) and then again on Sun but I didn't get a    off my OPK until yesterday which is when I started to get excited (day 17 - quite typical for me) so let him know that we needed to do it again yesterday and....he had a wobble about having another and whether it was the right thing. I know - lousy timing or what?! I was expecting it as I remember him doing something similar last time and tried to be supportive but I'm crushed. I don't know where I stand, are we TTC or not? And what if, by some blumin miracle I am pregnant, where does that leave us? he said last night he'd be thrilled if I got a BFP in two weeks but he knows it's so unlikely (we have MF issues as well as PCOS) and seriously, it's a bit of a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. I'm just so confused and can't work out how I feel at all. Do I ignore him and see if we can have one last try this cycle tonight or do I just right it all off and see what next month brings? In truth I don't even know now if we are TTC. i couldn't sleep last night and kept crying because I felt so hurt by it all. He totally accepted that this was all his fault and that I hadn't forced it at all. Oh FFS, what a fecking mess. 

I'm not sure what difference a month makes and I geniuinely believed it wouldn't happen this cycle but I'm still so upset.


----------



## louloumay

Oh Katie I'm so sorry you are having do deal with this all over again. I'm sure his wobble doesn't mean much, the thought of something is totally different from the reality and if you were pg   he will probably wobble some more until the baby comes and then fall in love and everything will be ok. So, personally I think you should ignore him, think of it as  just another blip on your ttc jounrny. You've handled it before and you can do it again.


----------



## Katie4

Thanks Loulou.    I'm knee deep in office politics right now and it's a good distraction. "big sigh" men!!!   

How's things in your camp?


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls!

Just a v quick rushed post on my phone as in Cornwall at mo and have no Internet or phone signal where we are staying!! Makes me v twitchy!! So having to catch up with everyone when we are out and about which isn't very social!

Oh Katie - sending you lots of hugs. It's really unfair of DH to be confusing you like this. But I agree with Loulou.. If it all worked out as we hope, I bet he would be over the moon.

Loulou, Chris, Notty, Lyns, Aurelia.. Love to you all... Hope I've not missed anyone?!

AFM, AF started to show on Sunday (the day we came away - typical) and properly started last night. Called clinic to arrange scan next Wed (obviously away this week and am back in the classroom Mon/Tues so didn't want to get people talking and take time off work so made it for my day off!) so fingers crossed my lining is thinning out like a good 'un and we can get the hell on with this tx!! And if not.. Well, things happen for a reason.

Sorry it's a quickie but DH is driving and got to send this before signal cuts out!!

Take care xxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Pocket, I so know what you mean on the "get the hell on with this"! Hope you are enjoying your hol desipte AF arriving. 

I also get twitchy when there is no signal - and as for DH, well it's one of his prerequisites for travelling anywhere!


----------



## louloumay

Just read my post back, what's a 'jounrny' then?  

Thanks for asking Katie, I'm pretty crap really, been unwell for ages. LO is struggling with her behaviour today and my patience is non existent so I also have the usual guilt that goes with that. Got consultation Monday, still undecided about that too. A friend of mine has just had a baby and another friend in Australia is ignoring me   Bet you wish you hadn't asked  

Good luck for Wednesday Pocket  

Love to all xx

Oh and I'm with both of you on tinternet withdrawal twitches


----------



## Katie4

Geez loulou. I'd blame all anxiety on the appointment. I would ge wound up ages before and not realise it till afterwards. X 

Talking of which how was your appointment chris? 

Got to pack for hols tonight as am adamant I'm going to bums tums and torture tomorrow as it's so good for my mind and my body! Oh and dh has said hes bringing work with him on our four day trip! However, guess I can't complain as erm well, he's come back to my way of thinking and we are now officially ttc! 

And of course I'm now petrified (and hopeful and excited- a few afs will sort all that out though!)


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Sorry I've been so absent. As well as going away to Cornwall, which was great, I've been burying my head firmly in the sand re all this ttc stuff. So I find not reading about it helps me forget about it, but I do miss you all when I do that, so it doesn't really help!

Katie - let's hope you get a BFP this month, and then there's no more discussing it at home. It might just be nerves on his part, particularly if there is MF. Maybe he's afraid of failing you.  

Loulou - hope you're feeling better. Nothing like a toddler to take advantage when you're feeling below parr - they can smell it.

Pocket - hope you're having a lovely time in Cornwall - whereabouts are you? Hope AF doesn't spoil your holiday. Fingers crossed your scan will all go smoothly when you get back.

Notty, Lyns, Aurelia -   

I had my follow up appointment today - as usual I was feel stressed and quite angry when I went in. I get really frustrated that they can't run on time - only 15 mins late today, but I still think it's unacceptable when we're paying such huge sums for a 'service'. It looks like we'll be doing another round of ICSI when I get back from my next holiday - so July time. I asked about changing protocols etc but predictably she was quite positive about my response to the current one. However they're upping my Gonal F to 450 a day - feel like the big guns are finally out. She was quite positive about my ability to conceive and sounded almost convincing that the next cycle could work - she gave me about a 25% chance which I'm happy with. Annoyingly, while I was having my BMI taken, she said to James that if this cycle didn't work, we should probably call it a day - or at least that's his take on it. Bit cross about that, but generally feeling angry with the world at the moment. I want to do what Holly was doing most of the morning - lying on the floor in Boots kicking and screaming!!   

Really missed you all - this is all such a tough journey, think we underestimate the energy it takes from us. I feel completely zapped.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

How are you all?   


Loulou - hope you have cheered up    You sounded really miserable in your last post    Good luck for tomorrow - how are you feeling about it?

Katie - How is it all going? Is DH playing ball still?!   

Chris - We went to a place called Constantine Bay in Cormwall about 15 minutes drive from Padstow. Was lovely    So nice to get away from it all and breathe in some fresh sea air! Although I feel I may have overdosed on pasties, ice cream and fish and chips   Can understand how you feel about being 'angry' with everything    Crap, isn't it? You just want to shout obscenities from the rooftops at all those people who fall pregnant naturally and with such ease    Hope you are feeling better   Good news about being able to start from next month though.

Notty, Lyns - where are you?! Are you ok?!   

Aurelia   

Have I forgotten anyone?!   

AFM, we got back from Cornwall this afternoon and it has just been a mass rush of washing, shopping, getting ready for work and dealing with that 'Oh Christ - that sinking feeling in my stomach has just come back after having been gone for a week' feeling    Feeling a little anxious about Wednesday and my 'sod everything - let's just take it as it comes' attitude is kind of fading fast    DH admitted he was feeling rather nervous about the scan on Wed and he usually says 'It'll be fine - don't worry!'    Still, I guess that worrying won't make a difference or change anything    I received an email today (albeit v cheesy the message was good   ) about how even when things don't turn out as you plan them, it happens for a reason - even if it takes a while for that reason to come to light.. Oh, I do believe I tell others that all the time when something goes wrong!! So why can't I take my own advice?!!!   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi everyone,

I'm the same Pocket, I spout all sorts of 'cosmic' words of wisdom and always forget to tell myself!   I'm ok thanks for asking. I've had my bloods done again re the dhea and it's all looking a bit dodgy, so I might have to stop taking it. Not really looking forward to my consultation this afternoon, it all feels like a bit of a waste of time. I went to a party on Saturday night, got very drunk and even smoked a couple of roll ups so I feel extremely guilty that I've probably irrevocably ruined my eggs any way.  

I'm not supprised you are feeling anxious. This cycle had been a bit difficult hasn't it? Since your DH couldn't say it, I will........'it'll be fine, don't worry'  , and I really do believe things happen for a reason and it'll all turn out alright in the end.  

Chris, I've been trying to avoid all the ttc stuff too, I haven't been posting much but have missed keeping up with everyone. It makes me cross when they are running late too, it IS a lot of money to pay for a rubbish service, especially when it's for something so emotive. I think they forget that sometimes. And going from a 25% chance to giving up trying seems a bit incongruous to me, I'd be annoyed too. I hope you are feeling a bit better, and starting to look forward to July, Lying on the floor kicking and screaming sounds like a good plan to me  

Katie, I'm so glad DH is back on board with ttc, how did your weekend go. You went to Centreparcs didn't you? Hope you are suitably relaxed and ready to get on with the BMS!  

Aurelia, Notty hope you are both well  

Lyns, miss you  

Love to all xxx


----------



## aurelia

Hi girls

Back to normal for us again now after a nice break at my parents and then with DH off work all last week, yay   We are doing fine, though still no teeth..........We had what I call a good night last night, with Lanora only waking for feeds at 1am and 4am, rather than the restless waking every half hour or so that has been the norm lately so feeling remarkably positive today on my total of almost 7 hours of sleep   

Loulou - hope your appt went ok, look forward to hearing your news   

PR - Wishing you all the best for tomorrow     

Chris - How are you feeling? I'm not surprised you've been angry at the world with all that going on, you'd think clinics would try to take the stress out of things not add to it but there we are. I remember having to wait over an hour just to collect my meds once, grrr! Plus if you're on 450 gonal F now that's enough to make anyone feel mad! I think a 25% chance is awesome and with regards to what your DH thought was said, maybe he just took it wrongly, i.e. I find men see things very black and white so they naturally go for the yes or no option and don't see the other possibilities.

Katie - Yay to being 'official' about ttc   how exciting! It's so normal to be petrified but focus on and enjoy all the hope and excitement, will look forward to good news from you soon   

Love to everyone x x x


----------



## Katie4

Hi girls, 


Pocket, hope tomorrow goes OK hun.   It will come right, your LO just doesn't want a January birthday that's all.   


Aurelia, so lovely that you had a nice week off. Am envious, the trip to CP wasn't as relaxing as I'd have hoped.   


Loulou, have you told them then that you are taking DHEA? What have they tested for? So confusing for you hun, to be taking something that is supposed to help and then getting funny blood results back. 


Chris, stick with the 25% chance and try to ignore what DH heard, honestly, when it's something as simple as picking NG up from nursery DH can be told three facts about her day and when he gets her home he'll remember one and even that will be incorrect. They just don't listen as carefully as we do and definitely don't hear the information in the same way as us girls. 


AFM, well I'm technically a week into 2ww territory but know deep down this has not worked this month, I ovulated later than I thought and basically we didn't do the necessary near enough to the time. However, I'm extremely moody and even shed a tear reading NG a book called the most precious thing tonight so am of course getting my hopes up that my hormones are going hay-wire    Silly Katie! Even if I was pg which is SOOOOOO unlikely I would not be able to tell yet. Bonkers bonkers bonkers. Prepare yourselves for some more daft comments over the next week. AF is due on Tuesday.


Katie x


----------



## louloumay

Hi everyone, just a quick update from me. I did tell the consultant about the DHEA and he said he didn't know enough about it and needed to treat me the way he knows how (sounded reasonable). He said I should probably stop taking it but when I pushed him about it he said I didn't HAVE to and it was up to me. He dismissed the ridiculously high testosterone result I got on my blood tests as I don't have a beard and am not going bald  . So I've got a lot more thinking to do. Tx scheduled for august. 

Hope you guys are all well. Quick personals....................

You never know Katie   , why wasn't CP so relaxing?

How was the scan Pocket?  

Glad you finally got a better night sleep Aurelia  

Chris  

Sorry for the quick one, need to tidy up before going round in-laws for tea  

Love to you all. Back later xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi ladies,

Loulou - Despite your current confusion.. exciting that tx will commence in August    Totally understand your predicament in whether to continue taking the DHEA    I suppose whether you carry on with it or not, if your tx didn't go to plan (but of course it will - it's your turn next   ) then you will always be wondering whether or not it was because of taking/not taking the DHEA...    Sorry - didn't mean for that to sound all doom and gloom.. just empathising    Could you posta  message on one of the professionals boards on here to see what their opinion is??

Katie - Sorry to hear CP wasn't as relaxing as you would have hoped   What happened? As for believing you aren't pg this cycle.. well, I always used to hate the fact I had an AF every month - now I always think it's a good thing.. not long until the next attempt!    I'm impressed with your awareness of where you are and when you ovulated, etc! I often think I should have actually made more of an effort to TTC naturally - DH and I have always been a little defeatist in that area (since we found out we were infertile, anyway   ). And try not to feel too pessimistic about it - you've had a natural miracle before.. no reason why it can't happen again   



Aurelia - Glad you've had a good break away from everything.. it makes you feel so much better doesn't it? And a good night's sleep doesn't half help either   

Chris - Hope you are ok and feeling positive   

AFM and the scan... well, the news isn't spectacularly good but it certainly isn't half as bad as I thought it was going to be    After being seen 35 minutes after our appointment time    and bracing ourselves for a 'I'm sorry but we are going to have to stop your tx', the scan showed that my lining is still a little too thick (I think that just shows that I have a really snuggly womb perfect for a little embryo   ), six good sized follies on my right ovary but a couple of cysts and two overdeveloped follicles on my left. The nurse had a word with our consultant and they decided that they would like me to continue DRing for another couple of days to see if the follies on the left ovary could be reduced (as well as wanting to thin my lining a little more) as they didn't want to start stimms in case the meds focussed on the larger follicles and ignored the good sized ones on my right - if that makes sense. So I am going back this Friday for another scan to have them re-checked. I must admit, both DH and I were really relieved. I know we aren't out of the woods yet but the nurse (who was just so lovely) spoke as if moving onto stimms was expected - whereas I wasn't even sure we would be able to move onto that stage. I mean, I don't want to get too excited as things always go wrong when I do that    but we are hoping we can get onto the next stage soon-ish    It's weird... I said to DH earlier how when we started DRing (back on 21/4!!) I know that mentally and emotionally I didn't feel ready to begin this rollercoaster again. But now.. I do feel ready - very ready   

So fingers crossed   

Lots of Love to you all.

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Gosh, so much to catch up on.....

Pocket, where has the time gone?! D/R for 6 weeks. Sorry, not to emphasise it but hun you are doing amazingly well. Let's hope Friday's scan gives you the green light for stimming. At least you aren't at work that day.   And, everything does happen for a reason and perhaps this is just a way for you to get ready for your next LO. x

Loulou, tx in August. Well, I'm going to get excited for you too.   The DHEA thing is tricky, if you aren't spotty or hairy then I'd ignore the testosterone result too. Have you thought about e-mailing the US clinic or the Canadian one to ask if they have patients who have had high testosterone after taking DHEA? Their websites and reports are so optimisitic that I'm sure they would reply to an e-mail? Might help you to make an informed decision?

Chris, how are you this week? Loved the idea of lying on the floor kicking and screaming, must relieve so much tension!  

Aurelia, I was thinking about you and your LO last night and remembering those "dark" interrupted nights. It does get better I promise. And, if you find yourself thinking about wanting another, remember that your body is currently being pushed to it's limits, you've had a LO, you are now BF, you aren't sleeping well (or being allowed to) so leaving it till Dec/Jan is really sensible as it will give you the chance to recover a bit! (Although now NG sleeps the thought of interrupted nights petrifies me! One step at a time eh?!  )

So, you asked about CP- well let's see, there were some brilliant times but I got really p'd off when my MIL arrived 30mins late on the Friday morning and when I asked she told me she'd not brought what she offered and we'd agreed she would (we'd talked and then I sent her a list of what i was taking and asked her to bring things (food, household essentials) from another list). Mainly, she'd not brought the food.    and although I kept asking what she'd not got as we were still at my house and I had things in the freezer I could have grabbed she kept brushing it off so I had to drop it. So, first of all we had planned a picnic for lunch on Friday, I told them I could make their sandwiches before we left but they said they would buy them and then proceeded to complain about the shop bought ones they had.   Then, Friday night tea was a BBQ and they were supposed to bring all the stuff as I'd prepared home made spage bol to make lasagne with for the other night we were staying in. Instead they bought it from the on site shop and it really wasn't nice. Then, last time we went they went on and on about going to Cafe Rouge for tea so I'd booked a table, paid the deposit and you guessed it, the food wasn't great and they seemed shocked (generally the food at CP isn't great, even from national chains, very much a production line) and whinged. So although only minor things she really really annoyed me. And, I got really bored on our nights in. And, I slept in NG's room because she was on a mattress on the floor for the first time (wedged between my bed and the wall) and she woke up with a cough every night we were there so I was shattered and a bit grumpy in the day - what did they expect?!!! I'd worked all week before to make sure we had everything we promised, was ready for a hol and then...well you know the rest. 

We've discussed booking to go again but I'm not doing it unless DH takes charge, insists they bring what they have said they will and they organise it all. 

Would you like to know today's imaginary pregnancy symptoms? Funny taste in my mouth and slight queasiness.    Honestly girls, you would think I would know better. AF is not due until Mon or Tue which will be (I think) day 12 or 13 after ovulation (so I'm day 9 post ovulation today). There is no way I can be pregnant this cycle and if I was I would not be able to tell yet. it's just bonkers. When will I learn?!


----------



## louloumay

You say there is no way you would know Katie but I did! I knew on day 8 with the chem pg because I felt weird and faint if I hadn't eaten and my skin got v. dry. So you could be  , but if you're not at least you've got the go ahead, and plenty of time to get there. How exciting!!  

As for your MIL, I would have been pretty cross with her too. There is a lot of organisation that goes into those sort of holidays and it's not fair to have to do it all on your own. Some people (that have never had to do any of the leg work) clearly think the fairies do it. But to have actually gone to the trouble of organising some people to do some of the organising and for them to organise bugger all is enough to send you over the edge. And then to have to eat crap and have the non-organisers complain, well  , is all I can say.

Pocket, you are very brave, I would have had a total meltdown if I'd been DR for that long. Fingers crossed it all goes a bit more smoothly from here on in. Six follies is great  , they sound like the sort of clinic that work around your specific needs, rather than fitting you in to their schedule, so that's good. I hope they apologised profusely for making you wait though! 

Chris, are you still avoiding anything tx related? Don't blame you if you are!  


Aurelia, another good(ish) nights sleep?  

xx

Oh forgot to say, I emailed the NY clinic that use DHEA for advice and they told me off for self medicating and said I should book a phone consultation. Well, for over £250  ,  I don't think so! I'll look into the Canadian one, thanks Katie.


----------



## Katie4

Loulou you are not helping me   on the pg side of things (I am not pg)...but thanks for your unfaltering support about my MIL, she's unreliable but lovely, really.   

And in return I've pm'd you the e-mail address of a Robert Gleicher. I imagine a well worded e-mail not asking for specific help but just a little general guidance would probably be answered.   

Katie x


----------



## PocketRocket

Katie - Can understand why CP might not have been as relaxing as you first envisaged    It's so frustrating when people aren't as organised and prepared as you are.. being a control freak myself that weekend would have wound me right up    

Loulou - £250 for a telephone conversation?!    Let's have 10 of those then    Let us know what you do find out though.

Feeling a little nervous about the scan tomorrow..    The nurse on Wed sounded really positive, but not sure if she is one of those people who just exudes positive vibes regardless of what she saying if you know what I mean   Am working in the afternoon as a one-off so really hoping it's good news or I shall be having to hold off on the    for a few hours otherwise   

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Think positive thoughts pocket x x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Only if you promise to do the same ;0) xxx


----------



## Katie4

That made me smile - why not be happy till I know I'm def not of hey?! 

Night night and good luck for tomorrow x


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning girls,

Just thought you might like a quick update... 

Just had the scan and my body still isn't playing ball! I've still got a lining & what looks like follicles so they've decided to abandon the cycle. They said that I'm still producing the hormones that the drugs should be supressing so they've taken some bloods (LH, FSH and oestrodial sp?!) to find out what is going on. They've said to stop the Suprecur and wait until I get my next period and call them as soon as it arrives to go in for a scan (between day 1 and 5).

Feeling a bit flat    but ok really as we both expected this so relieved they've finally said it! Trying to stay positive as they seemed to think there were other routes we could take but just hoping the blood test doesn't show anything majorly wrong.   

They said they would call me when the results come back which should be by about 3pm this afternoon (the perks of paying private costs   ) so will let you know more then.
Hope you are all ok today   
PR xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

Only me again    

Well, got a call from the clinic re: blood tests and my oestradol levels were really low indicating that there are no eggs present -  it turns out that the 'follicles' they saw on my scan are actually cysts. ..Meaning that the DRing has 'half worked'   in that I have no eggs but my womb lining thinks the cysts are follicles/eggs and is therefore thickening in preparation. So technically I will ovulate this month (sans oeufs   ) but they have said they don't want to scan me between day 1 and 5 now as there is no point. The cysts should go with my next AF and I am to call them on the first day to organise an appointment for day 21 to have a one off injection of a stronger DR drug which lasts 4-5 weeks to see if that works. 
The nurse said that there was no way anyone could have predicted this and next cycle I might respond to Suprecur beautifully, but no one is to know this hence them preparing to give me a stronger DR drug.

So there we go! A day in the life of Pocket Rocket summed up as briefly as I can without boring you all   

A large glass of wine and a takeaway is on the menu for tonight, along with a big sigh of relief/disappointment/slight celebration that for the first time in 6 weeks I don't have to inject   

Hope you guys are all ok and have had a good end to the week.

Apologies for the 'me' posts today by the way   

PR xxxx


----------



## lyns76

HELLLOOOOO LOVELIES I AM BACK..........

Oh i have missed you lot so much!!!!

We moved house and everything went well but took ages for broadband to get set up and then my laptop decided to break!!!

Sorry i havent been on for ages but i have been thinking of you all, have i missed anything exciting or any lovely announcments, there are so many reply's been added to our posts since i last went on that i cant work out where every one is at the mo so forgive me please for being ignorant.

Things have been up and down for me since my last post but i am in a kinda goodish place at the moment well this week any way !!
hospital next week to c when my next ICSI starts.......should i really put myself through all of this yet again ARRRRGGGGGHHH

LOVE TO YOU ALL

Lyns xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh sweetie! Well I hope you enjoyed that wine and a night off from using yourself as a pin cushion. It sounds like they explained everything really well which seems to not always be the case and that clearly helps so much. 

Thanks for keeping us all updated. Dont feel you have to be brave though, it's been one hell of a journey for you so far, you know we are here and will willingly listen if you need to vent/rant or whatever emotion comes next. 

As for me, I'm shattered- ng was coughing in the night so I got up to put her humidifier on and then was up till 3.30, just as I was nodding off she shouted me and when i went in she said "toast please mummy"! It was half 3!!!! So I pacified her with a large beaker of milk and a digestive which she nibbled on (as opposed to shovelling it in- it was not the time to be dainty!) and having laughed my head off at her shoving the last mouthful in I managed to convince her to go back to sleep. So in all I think I had five hrs last night in two split shifts. And a full day in the office to contend with! Still I made it thru altho did lose my temper at bedtime when she refused to stop scraping her nails down the front of the potty! Ah dh is finally coming to bed.....catch up tomorrow x x zzzzzzzz


----------



## Katie4

Lyns!!!!! Omg I was convinced you had defected to netmums or something! Fantastic to have you back, especially at such an exciting time for you. 

I'll let each of us update you on our own story- mine, we are, after a turbulent journey, ttc again. All au naturel and I'm technically on my first 2ww right now and the girls are kindly encouraging my imaginary symptoms! af is due mon/tue and my head knows I'm not pregnant but my heart is still hoping! 

So very very lovely to have you back.


----------



## lyns76

Oh katie4 brill news, hey you never know you may hit jackpot first try, here's hoping for you.

Even if its not this month i am sure it will happen very soon for you, you have proved you can do it so very best of luck x

i am not 100% sure what route my next treatment will take.  Hubby was told at his appointment that his swimmers have improved a lot but i am not taking too much for granted until i ask for the count etc next week. My husband didnt ask many questions when he went so i am armed with a list again.  We finaly have the funds for a frech cycle of ICSI so if we can start straight away then i am gonna try again xx

Lyns


----------



## Katie4

My goodness we have some exciting times ahead - four sets of treatment in July and august! Thunk positive thoughts girls!


----------



## louloumay

Got to be quick, lots to do today but had to say WELCOME BACK LYNS!!!!!!!!   Really missed you!

And poor you Pocket, all that anticipation.   . It's ok to have a meltdown about it you know. I certainly would and then do the obligatory 'it's all happened for a reason' stuff afterwards. It's important to do it in the right order   sending you lot's of    

Laughed at ng's nibbling antics Katie  

xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls   

Hope you are enjoying your weekends   

Loulou - How are you feeling about everything? Have you contacted anyone to find out about whether or not you should continue to take the DHEA?

Katie - How are you feeling? Any other symptoms.. AF or otherwise?! 

Lyns - Welcome back!!    How exciting that yout tx is so soon! It'll be so good having so many of us on this thread going thru tx at the same time. How is your new house?

Chris, Notty, Aurelia   

AFM, thanks for your support - you know I would be straight on here if I needed to vent/rant/cry/moan etc     but I really do feel ok at the moment. I am sure that in the near future I will falter and need my FFs shoulders to cry on    but both me and DH understand that it has happened for a reason and, for the moment anyway, we are feeling quite positive about the future. (Of course if something like this were to happen again then I might not be feeling the way I do now    but I'm trying not to think like that!)
I truly believe that this has happened because I wasn't mentally/emotionally ready to start tx again - as much as I wanted another baby, I was so apprehensive about the dreaded tx rollercoaster that I just couldn't imagine putting myself through it again. But strangely enough, as I said before, I feel ready for it now. DRing for 6 weeks has got to have served some purpose, hey?!    And I am getting 'belly envy' again whenever I see a pg person (and aren't there always SO many around when you are going thru tx?!!?    ) to the point where I can feel my uterus contract and ovaries spasm!!!!

We'll see - I'm going to enjoy the next few drug-free/tx-free weeks with my boys, eat healthily, take my vitamins, get lots of sleep, try to relax and then hopefully I'll be ready to take on the world    (please remind me of that last comment when I freak out pre-tx   )

Lots of Love to you all   

Pocket Rocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Good for you Pocket  , I'm glad you are feeling so ok about it xx


----------



## Katie4

Evening ladies!! 

Am being naughty, sat on my ever increasing backside having scoffed a yummy magnum (amongst other treats) watching the cube! I should be out for a run or delivering the parish news or mowing the lawn. Ah well. 

Pocket, it's terrific you are both taking everything in your stride. Also, won't this mean that any appointments will be almost in the summer hols? 

Loulou, hope you get some answers ;-) 

Lyns, aurelia and chris and of course notty if you are still reading - hi! 

Afm, well I've got pmt and  I had a nap this afternoon when ng did and woke up convinced af was coming as I was crampy  but I think it passed while I was having a Mexican stand off with ng over using the potty. My goodness this weekend her behaviour has been like a pendulum! Boobs aren't sore (despite my constant poking to see if they are sore!)


----------



## Katie4

Oh...phone is messing about....right where was I? Oh my temp shot up to 37.1 overnight.....part if me is totally accepting of the fact that it's a no this time, another part is still hopeful and the cb pg test I have in the house is just desp to be used!! 

I've even got out my old bbt charts and realised the cycle I got my bfp I didn't test till day 14 after ovulation- can't believe I waited that long, especially when I think back to the symptoms I had (which I don't have now!) as my luteal phase is only 11 days. (not that I'm over analysing!!) come on af put me out of my misery! 

Obsessed Katie x


----------



## PocketRocket

Glad you were spending Saturday evening as you should have been Katie ie. eating naughty foods    I was doing a very similar thing.. and I hate to be competitive, but I bet my **** is bigger than yours   

Just had to have a quick rant and moan (told you the positive attitude wouldn't last for long   )... a friend's wife who has just given birth to her second child updated her ******** status this morning - it really wound me up! Perhaps it is just me being oversensitive or a bit   , but I think this comment almost sounds rather ungrateful for having the privilege of giving birth to a little miracle    'Knackered.. Five hours post birth to a 3.8 kg baby boy.. He is lovely but not sure I could go through it again.. Photos will follow, still in shock x'. Of course, I am overwhelmed with sympathy for her - being able to fall pregnant naturally with her second child, having a good pregnancy and delivering a healthy baby must be really tough   

Sorry girls - very *****y of me but I'm hoping you might take the same viewpoint as me?!

Kept waking up in the night thinking about how much I want another one - not done that for ages   

Hope you are all getting ready to enjoy lazy Sundays   

PR xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Pocket don't be so hard on yourself. Perhaps she had a terrible labour? That said mine was pretty horrific and I was v poorly for three months afterwards and was still desp to do it again! Ignore her. Who can be arsed to post on ** five hours after labour?!


----------



## PocketRocket

I think that was what wound me up Katie - I had a pretty brutal labour too but I remember thinking five minutes after giving birth that I would still do it all again like a shot     I guess maybe after your second you really don't want to do it all again - hopefully one day we'll all find out, hey?!


----------



## louloumay

I agree with Katie Pocket, odd to be posting on ** that soon after having a baby. My heart bleeds too. Bloody **  , hate it, so much point scoring and approval seeking. Weird.


----------



## louloumay

Well maybe hate it is a bit strong  

Can any of you guys explain why men are so dopey sometimes? I had breaded some chicken breast for dinner and asked dp to cook his and LO's as I had a headache and would eat later. Not only did he burn it by cooking it in a dry pan but couldn't for the life of him work out how to divide 4 big bits of chicken and lots of little bits between 2 adults and one child  . I ask you is it really that hard? Can't he use his own brain instead of mine just once?  .  GIVE LO THE LITTLE BITS, for goodness sake.

Sorry, needed a little rant


----------



## Katie4

I fairly recently asked DH to put some potatoes on to boil for tea as we were stuck in traffic and I knew there would be the mother of all meltdowns if NG didn't get her tea on time. He cooked the entire 1kg bag. For 2 adults and one 2 year old.


----------



## louloumay

Funny!   what planet are they on?  glad I'm not the only one with an   partner.


----------



## lyns76

ha ha ha ha ....love you lot, i completely agree, men hey, cant live with em, cant live without them!!!!
My man has got one of them brains that when you tell him something important a few days later he sweares blind that i never told him!!
hope everyone is ok, god this weather sucks, typical english Summer....feel down again today and i am sure it doesnt help with all this s*dding rain.

is anyone else like me......desperate to get started with the treatment but on the other hand really not wanting to start the rollercoaster?
God damn it, having a woe is me day again today   
One min i keep thinking it worked once so it can again and then the next i am convincing myself that there is no chance of it working.......someone slap me PLEASE!!!!!

lets just wait and see what they tell me Thursday xxxxxxxxxxx

Love you lots and keeping everything crossed for you Katie x

Lyns


----------



## louloumay

I'm not looking forward to the tx at all Lyns. I'm just going through the motions so I can tell myself a few years down the line that I tried my best. I even feel guilty about having it, my mum is paying for it and I just know it's wasting her hard earned money. I'm too old though lyns, you're not! You've got loads of time to win the lottery  . You'll get there, keep yer chin up hun. I know it's hard, we all get those days


----------



## chrisgib

Hi everyone,

No, I've not been burying my head in the sand any more, but I've been away to Devon with some friends for the last few days.

There is about 3 pages of posts to catch up on!

Pocket - so sorry your tx was abandoned. What a complete bummer. Hope you're OK. Have you thought about what to do next - guess that's a silly question.   

Katie - when is AF due - would be so lovely if you got a BFP, we need some luck.

Lyns - glad to see you back too - so annoying when technology plays up. Glad the move went well, and am I right in recalling that you're about to start tx again?

Loulou - are you starting tx again soon?  sorry if I've got confused - lost my way on all these posts.

I'm just busy holidaying at the moment, we go away to Greece on Saturday for a fortnight so need to think about packing for that too. Not complaining at all - all hassle of my own making!  We're planning to start tx in about July/August depending on cycle dates but also depending if I can lose some weight. My BME is currently 32 and if it gets to 35 by EC day, they'll refuse to operate - so I need to eat less and do more. Sounds so simple, but don't think a holiday is necessarily going to help, even though it's a so called 'active' one! (don't worry - nothing major - just watersports, personally I like to sail my sunbed though!)

As for our darling DH's - don't you just love them! Had to laugh at all your comments - it's so refreshing to hear people on here having a moan about them - I was thinking I was the only one who had one who did stupid stuff. It was quite telling last week - I was away with another mum and her 2 kids (one is the baby I nanny for on a Tuesday). Between us it was easier managing the 3 kids than when the dads arrived for the weekend. The dads always seem to find time to read the paper - how does that happen?   

Right - better go and get on.   to you all.

Christine
xxx


----------



## aurelia

Hi girls

Wow, loads seems to have happened since I last looked, but that applies to us too as today I've found that Lanora's first tooth has finally broken through     the last few nights she has slept more soundly, just waking for her 2 feeds, and last night she went a whole 4.5 hours in her own bed, had a feed then went back to sleep til 6.30! It's so amazing though, felt very overwhelmed today at how quickly she is growing up.

chris - have a lovely holiday, sounds like a great way to relax before tx!

PR - Sorry your tx had to be abandoned but at least as you say you have gotten your head in the right space as a result. I didn't know they could give you a super DR jab like that, fewer stabs must be a good thing though.

Katie - i've still got all my charts too, dh said shall i start doing my bbt again now so I can see what my cycles are like but I'm avoiding it as I too get very obsessive about it. I think the 'trouble' is that we know so much about it as well as what it feels like to go through it all, so we are better experts than the experts!

Lyns - Good luck for Thursday   

loulou - you sound really down about your tx   maybe once you get started you'll feel better, and it could all work still no matter what age you are   

Ok well I best be off, trying to plan a camping holiday to Wales for the summer holidays and no idea where to start! Must work out how to use the new phone DH made me get then I can check in with you all more easily


----------



## lyns76

Aw LouLou, you are not old at all, i bet u are stunning and feel no different to how i do, even though i must admit i am starting to feel old, all this stress doesnt help does it !! Really hope it happens soon for you x

Big hello to everyone else and still hoping 2011 will be our year again x

Lyns


----------



## louloumay

Thanks you guys, I'm not so down   honestly! Just being realistic. Do feel a bit guilty about the money but my mum keeps telling me it's 'inappropriate' so I'll try not to  .

Have a lovely time in Greece Chris. I am most envious. Love Greece! I am supposed to be having tx August by the way.  

Great news about Lanora's tooth Aurelia. At last! You can relax for about 5 minutes till the next one comes!  

Are you feeling a bit better now Lyns?  

Af reared her ugly head Katie? Hope not  

How are you Pocket?  

Notty  


xx


----------



## Katie4

OK, here goes....I've been avoiding the board a little and you may have wondered if I'd got a BFN or a BFP. Actually I had this :
BFN (Thur) 
BFP (Sat - well actually a very very faint and blurry positive)
BFN (Monday - to reasure me that Sat was a BFP   ), 
BFP (today  ) 

Heaven only knows what happened yesterday....perhaps my wee was too dilute? Or the "splash" on the window buggared it up? Who knows - I just wish I'd had another test to hand as I've spent the last 24 hours thinking I'd had a chemical pregnancy and was on my way to an early MC. I'd got a Dr's appt booked for this morning and was going to demand a blood test but wanted to check and prepare myself for the worst one last time....it looked negative at first so I crumpled up on the bathroom floor and had a good cry. Then it turned positive. 

Got everything crossed now both for you all and for me and am sending you all   

A very grateful Katie x


----------



## louloumay

Oh! Katie! See! Told you!  

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God I hope it sticks Katie......quick go and get another test!!

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


----------



## Katie4

Loulou, do not encourage me. I have one test left and the one from this morning looks ever so faint....  (I cannot afford any more tests....walk away Katie.....!)

thanks so much sweetie, I hope it sticks too    

Now please will you stop agonising over your treatment, your Mum is entirely right, it is not appropriate for you to worry about whether she can afford to give you the cash, it's her gift. (she must have given you some dodgy presents in the past? Think of this as a little bonus present....  ) Did you get anywhere with the links I sent you? x


----------



## louloumay

Thanks Katie  , yes I emailed Dr G today, and the free question thingy. I'd already done that though, it was those guys who told me off for self medicating. I used a different email address this time  , they might not know it was me! And I emailed the Canadians and they couldn't tell me anything in case I sued them  

Anyway........................do the test! DO THE TEST!!!!!

Ok, I'll calm down. If you only have one test perhaps you should leave it a day  

xx


----------



## louloumay

Ooooh I've got tests, pm me your address, I'll post em!!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Just a quickie...

OMG Katie!!!!!!!!!! How exciting!!!!! See - you know your own body    Have you made a doctor's appointment? Keep us informed - please!!

Lots of Love to you all xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh pocket I so do not know my body! All my imaginary symptoms disappeared as soon as that fuzzy line appeared on sat! And other than my short episode of sore boobs  this morning i havent had a single symptom! I haven't  made a gp appointment as we just do our own booking appointment with the midwives here at 9weeks - so I've made that but it's such a long way away. Many many hours to get through before then. 

One interesting thing Ive noticed though- there's two diff types of clearblue test (as in the non digital) - my first had a dotted blue line for the horizontal part and got darker as it dried and is still showing a positive. It also had cb in blue on it where as the new ones have cb in White, a solid horizontal line and fade after a few hours.....! Not helpful at all. 

Ng was chatting to herself at tea about her "sister" - we've obviously not told her. Where did that come from? 

Btw girls, I know this has been extremely straightforward so far despite the uncertainty but don't for a second think I'm taking anything for granted. This is still such a huge shock it hasn't really sunk in.


----------



## aurelia

Yay Katie YAY!!!!! Soooooooo pleased for you and obviously sending you all the sticky vibes I can muster


----------



## Katie4

Thank you so much aurelia x x


----------



## chrisgib

Well Done Katie. Really really pleased for you. Try not to worry too much, (impossible I know), hope it all goes smoothly for you. Have you worked out your due date yet?!!

Maybe NG was talking about her being a 'big sister'?

 

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Thanks chris that's so kind of you hun. Hows the packing going?


----------



## louloumay

Hi everyone. I don't like it when you are all quiet, I start worrying.

How are you Katie? Still reeling from the shock? Have you tested again?  

Good luck today Lyns  

Have you finished packing Chris. If the weather is as rubbish where you are as it is here then you've timed a holiday particularly well  

You ok Pocket?  

Aurelia  

Notty, if you are there, hope all is well with you and the two snugglers  

Afm, I've had no luck emailing DHEA 'experts', they are not interested if I am not paying them. Had a bit (understatement) of a row with DP a couple of days ago and have been thinking about leaving (not that it's feasible) so I'm not sure tx is such a great idea anyway. He said He thought I was just using him for his swimmers  . The way I feel right now, he's not far off!  

Going to LO's new school tonight to discuss uniform etc and have a look around, and then 'report day' at her preschool on Friday. It'll be good to focus on her for a couple of days.

Love to all

xxx


----------



## Katie4

Me too loulou.

Sorry things are a bit frought right now. Impending treatment and ttc makes everyone a little tense. Enjoy being a proud mummy tonight though - what s grown up girl you have. 

And yes, tested again last night as couldn't sleep- confirmed everything very nicely. Am a very lucky girl x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi there,

Loulou - sorry you're having a rough time at the mo. I hope you manage to patch things up with DP. Tx certainly doesn't help a relationship, in fact none of this IF stuff does. Not sure what to suggest, don't think we're much different to you - I just bury my head in the sand. Good luck at the new school, hope you like it, and the uniform!

Katie - hooray for a new test - what sort did you use?  If clearblue digital - how many weeks did it say?!

I haven't even started packing yet, starting to stress about it now, but generally need pressure to get off my backside to do it. Problem is I haven't got any clothes that fit, so packing won't take long for just a swimsuit and a towel. As much as I moan about DH he is an expert packer, so secretly I know he'll do it if I run out of time! The house is a right old state too and some friends are staying here while we're away - think I'm more worried about that. At least I'm not stressing about treatment - always an upside.   

I will be quiet over the next 2 weeks though, there isn't any wifi in our rooms and not sure I'm sad enough to take my laptop with me to use in reception.  

Right - really must get on and tidy up.

Christine


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls   

Katie - So glad the latest test is positive too    I don't blame you for testing.. I would be exactly the same! You'll be able to take out shares in CB after this    Fingers crossed you have a happy and healthy pregnancy... you certainly deserve it after being in limbo for so long   


Chris - I wouldn't worry about packing.. as you say a swimsuit and towel is all you need for a fortnight in Greece    Hope you have a fantastic time although I am very jealous    As for leaving us FF behind... you DO realise how many posts you are going to have to catch up on on your return   


Lyns - Let us know how you got on today   


Loulou - Sending you lots of    This journey is so tough and bound to take its toll on your relationship somewhere along the line. I hope everything goes well at your LOs pre-school.. they grow up so quickly   

Notty, Aurelia -   

AFM - Been feeling a little flat these past few days    Not really sure why... maybe it's a delayed reaction from last week? My AF has arrived already, only 6 days after stopping the buserelin, so I need to call the clinic and arrange an appointment for Day 21. I think I'll do it tomorrow though - feeling very tired and a little emotional so I want to be in the right frame of mind to do it. I honestly wasn't expecting AF for another couple of weeks (not that my cycle would be in any way regular due to the amount of drugs I've been pumping into my body for the last few months!) so it has thrown me a little that it has arrived so soon. But I guess it's a good thing    
Went to see one of my (fertile   ) best friends today. She's got two LOs and she's a great friend - very good at listening and reasoning. But sometimes it's just so hard to explain to people how you feel about everything, as you know that despite their efforts - they really don't fully understand your point of view and all the emotions that come with IF. I was trying to explain how even if we are lucky enough to complete our family one day, I will always look at pregnant women and think how lucky they are and how I will always be a little envious of them. She said 'You won't - I always thought that until I had my second and you won't feel the same!'  I responded by saying that maybe it was just coming from an infertile person's point of view but I knew that's how I would always feel. She said 'But YOU'RE not infertile.' I insisted that actually I am - technically yes, it's DH that has the IF issue, but as far as I am concerned, it is OUR problem. If I always thought like that, then I honestly believe it would create such anger and resentment within our relationship - we'd never get through tx!! There were another couple of elements of the conversation that made me realise it's hard to chat about to friends who are able to conceive naturally    .. but I won't bore you with those too    Just had to vent a little   

Hope you are all well - this rotten weather doesn't exactly help to lift your mood does it?! Neither does an extra morning in the classroom    More overtime today.. think I'm gonna knock that on the head - does no good for my sanity!!

PR xxx


----------



## Katie4

Didn't want to read and run. Pocket my love, tough day all round for you. Be kind to yourself and just have a night snuggled on the couch. And I know what you mean about it's "our" problem. Hmm your friend doesn't understand. She's lucky but I suppose it's like anything in life, till you have been in it you can't understand. Dh and I have had blazing rows in the past after I lost each of my parents - mixture of him just not getting it and my absolute rage at him having both parents and me not having even one! He's much better now but I suppose he had to learn how I wanted him to be. So maybe your friend thinks she's being helpful? 

Loulou, gutted they won't help you without you paying. That's disgusting. A five minute chat costs nothing. Miserable so and sos. 

Chris hope you managed the packing. Gorgeous weather and lots of relaxation will be amazing

Aurelia, notty and lyns - hope you've had good days. 

Katie x.


----------



## louloumay

Oh Pocket,  , it is rare to find someone that gets it, that's why we all keep coming back here isn't it. I think I will always envy 'fertile' people too. It sounds like your friend was really trying to help but it's just impossible for people to say the 'right thing' when they haven't walked in your shoes for a day. I talked to a woman I know today that lost 3 babies before she had another, 12 years after her first (her youngest is 17 now). She had 2 miscarriages and one still born (omg  ). I talked to her about wanting another and not being able to. SHE got it. It was great to chat to someone about it that didn't just look at me pityingly. She said (as we have) that one is better than none (by a million miles) and then she said that knowing that doesn't take the pain away. How true.

Oh and I love to be bored by stories of how other people don't understand, it validates my own misery  , so I think you should share the rest of it pocket  

Katie, fab news you're still positive. As Pocket said, you really do deserve it  

Chris, You have a very rare man that is good at packing! Does he suffer with OCD or something? Wish mine did, the house would be a lot tidier. The school uniform was rubbish by the way, Blue and grey. Boring. Still, gingham summer dresses are cute.  

Lyns, any good news?  

Aurelia?  

xx


----------



## Katie4

Chris have a fantastic time and remember your friends will make a mess so there's no point in the house being super tidy as then they will have more work to do to get it back to normal, so you are being a better friend by leaving it as "lived in" -    Have a terrific holiday sweetie. 
Loulou and Pocket, thanks girls but we all deserve this and I am so hoping we are the luckiest thread on FF by October.    

Pocket have you made the call for your day 21 scan? 

Loulou, sorry the uniforms not more to your taste but at least the colours will hide some of the marks/dirt/pen/food!   (Assuming you have a messy child like mine!)

Lyns how did you get on?

Aurelia, are you Ok sweetie? thinks improved now that teggy has appeared?

I can't believe it's only Friday. It's been such a long week. A lovely one but a slow one. Does that make sense? I've booked a private scan for what i think will be 8 and a half weeks, it feels like it's about a year away. 

Must go and do work, have loads on. Happy weekends. 

Katie


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks Katie,

I know the time drags, but couldn't help but think that in a years time you'll have a 4 month old baby! Isn't that amazing?    I so hope this thread turns in to one where we're all talking about our new babies. 

I always have been one for getting ahead of myself - so apologies if you haven't let yourself think like that yet. 

My expert packer announced last night that he's going out tonight - so thankfully he did most of his own packing (and the ironing) last night. I tend to just pack whatever fits and whatever's clean! 

I know what you're saying about the clean house thing - but my friend is a bit of a clean freak, not sure I can face her seeing the squalor I live in!

Chat later.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Jaysus Chris.....that post needed a health warning! I went all goosebumpy. And here's me thinking I'm getting ahead by booking a scan and putting the weeks in my phone calendar(only up to 16 I add...not sure why 16 but there you go). 

And as for your friend, you are letting her have your house sweetie...and I think you will be surprised when you return - she won't leave it that clean...(or maybe she will and then you will have one less thing to do when you come back!)

Must get back to work.....am so easily distracted!


----------



## chrisgib

Sorry Katie - hope the goosebumps have gone down now!

How many weeks are you now - 6? Any symptoms?  How was your first pregnancy, straightforward? Looking at double buggies?!  (sorry - can't help myself!)

Sorry about all the questions, putting off the packing/cleaning!

Really excited for you.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

OMG Chris, no, I'm, (well I think I am) about 4 weeks and 3 days! I tested on day 9PO, then day 11 (only last Saturday) which was when I got my faint positive. It's all a bit tricky as I ovulate late and have a short luteal phase but I think I ovulated on Tue 31st May or Wed 1st June so that is where I'm working from. 

Symptoms...very few but I suppose it is too early. (In fact I keep thinking and trying to prepare myself (not that you can) for it having a negative outcome in the next few weeks as I feel really OK..and last time I know I was dizzy and my (.)(.) hurt from before I did the test). I even went to bums and tums last night (the instructor was sooo lovely and said as I'd been coming for a while I could carry on for another two months)- I did take it easy though. 

My first pregnancy...was reasonably straightforward, low amniotic fluid at 20weeks but it sorted itself by 24. I have a funny Y shaped womb so Ng was transverse lie until 37 weeks (at which point I realised I would actually have to go into labour and not have a section) - oh and my pelvis isn't great and I developed pretty severe pelvic girdle pain so I ended up housebound and on crutches for the last 3 weeks....I must be    (That is actually why I go to bums and tums - to try to strengthen my core muscles to prevent a relapse). 

As for double buggies....ooh am guilty too!   it's the only real thing you need to buy when you are not on your first...other than a whole new set of bedroom stuff for the first as you need them to vacate the nursery. And i do love a good pram. Although (fingers and toes crossed, quick prayer up) Ng will have just turned 3 so I can't justify a lot of money (Bugaboo Donkey is definitely out....) as it won't be needed for long - you need a straightjacket to get her in there now!

Oh girls....I am so desperate for you all to be where I am - confused, scared and blumin excited!    Oh God and dreading telling work but that is a story for a whole other day. 

go packing girl or I'm going in your place x


----------



## louloumay

Just a quicky, I've got to go and fill in the escape tunnel our rabbit has burrowed in her run before she becomes fox dinner. In the p*****g rain too. Nice  

Oh and now LO has just told me she she's finished her dinner but hasn't eaten much of it, so I said ok and then she said she's still hungry for prawn crackers. Crafty, getting me to say ok to the half eaten dinner first  .

Can't remember what I was going to say......oh yes.........4 and a half weeks!!! Already! Blimey. I hope you're not going to abandon us non pg people Katie. I'll come find and harass you if you do  

Get on with the packing Chris, for goodness sake  . I'd leave the cleaning for your OCD friend to do, no matter how clean you leave it for her she'd probably have to clean it all again anyway  

Right..wellies on xx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh I think that digging sounds like the perfect excuse for wine, and a lovely long bath...!


Chris are you packed yet? Hope you are having a nice relaxing evening before you travel tomorrow. 


Pocket, how are you feeling today sweetie?


Lyns - and you too?


Aurelia....how's things now? 


Notty, not sure if you are still reading but hope you and the little ones are OK. 


Am hungry for prawn crackers now!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

You all make me laugh!!

Chris - Get packing girl and sod off    Sod the cleaning - who cares?!

Katie - 4 weeks and 3 days    Love it    I can understand how your 8 week scan seems yonks away though! I remember that waiting all too well   

Loulou - How did the digging go?!    Yum - prawn crackers   

AFM - Feeling a little perkier today although still have my reservations about everything    I'm not sure AF is actually AF now    I always spot beforehand for a few days which is why I thought it was on its way, but since Tuesday I've had nothing but (TMI Warning   ) brown mucus type discharge    Think I'm going to wait until Monday to see if it develops into anything (although I am pretty sure it's not) and then call the clinic to see what they say. I am presuming I should wait until I get a 'proper bleed' before I go ahead and book my day 21 scan.. I'd rather wait until then to make sure the cysts are properly 'flushed out'.. I can still feel the occasional 'twinge' in my ovaries (if I didn't know they were cysts I'd think I was ovulating - always get ovulation pains you see   ) so that's all unsettling me a bit. REALLY hoping it'll all be ok...   


Lots of Love to you all xxx


----------



## aurelia

Hi girls

We're doing ok, 2 teeth through now but I think she's feeling a bit unsettled from these 2 strange new things in her mouth as they just aren't going away! We've had a stressful week with my stepson but that's all been resolved today so we're back to an even keel again. DH is out on a business thing tonight so having a night in front of the tv with some clotted cream fudge   We're meeting up with my brother-in-law tomorrow morning for a walk around the botanic gardens, he's ok but his little boy has no discipline what so ever, and his wife mustn't like us as she is always busy doing something else so she can't make it. Hopefully it won't rain, that would really be the icing on a very dull morning! Seeing friends to deliver a first birthday present for their little boy in the afternoon so that will be something to look forward too. DH has decided he'd like Nando's on Father's Day, I am so bad with spicy stuff I can't eat anything in there without my tongue feeling like it's on fire, I somehow even find the chips spicy   

Chris - have a wonderful holiday!

Katie - 4 weeks already does sound like ages, but I think a private scan is a great idea. We will definitely make sure we have an early scan too when we're in that position again (thinking positive here!) as I think it helps relax into it when you've actually seen what's going on in there.

loulou - hope you have survived the rain, better than dealing with a distraught child over an ex-rabbit though I guess.

PR - I so know how you feel about talking to non-tx people, they really just don't get it and it can be so isolating. I am lucky to have met some another tx girl through a local IVF support group and we had our babies around the same time and go to baby groups together etc, and I think we both just find it so comforting to be able to say whatever we feel and have to other one understand, and especially not to always try to make you look on the bright side as that's what my mum always does (i don't think she can handle it emotionally that we've needed tx) and I really don't find that helpful. At least we all have each other here too, we are always here for you   

Just had news that DH is bringing home chips..........


----------



## chrisgib

Ok you lot - stop nagging!

We've packed enough for a month!  As for the cleaning - that was never really going to happen was it?!  My day got messed up today as chronic toothache returned so spent the afternoon trying to get an appointment. Now feeling suitably numb, much better than pain, but am on antibiotics so shouldn't drink whilst on holiday. Never mind, better that than toothache. Just hope it doesn't return whilst away although I keep hearing how good Greek dentists are. Maybe I'll just call in to an IVF clinic whilst there and come home with quads too!

Pocket, glad you're feeling a bit more cheery. I'd talk to your clinic about the timing/cysts and see what they say. 

Loulou - sounds like we'd all like some prawn crackers - can't blame NG for trying.

Katie - maybe just a buggy board?! 

Aurelia - sorry I keep missing you off - how are you? Ooh - just seen your post, fudge - yum!

I'm off again now, going to put the laptop away and have an early night.

Have a good couple of weeks.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oooh chips....! Mmmmmm yummy. Not had chips for ages. 


Aurelia, poor little poppet and her teeth! They could come thick and fast now. Take loads of photos as she is right now. Those first two teeth photos are priceless. Hope your day is better than expected tomorrow. And as for Nandos...erm not much I can recommend, only been once. Boys love it don't they?!


Pocket, sounds like your body is throwing a wobbly but at least that will put AF a bit closer to when you expected it? You are bound to feel a bit cautious about treatment, it's not gone according to plan, and even though they have explained whats happened it's bound to throw you, especially with all the hormones. 


Loulou are you in the bath? Chris hope you aren't cleaning yours. (Loved Loulou's rationale behind not bothering to clean too much). 


Right off to put my pjs on. DH can walk the dogs tonight.   


Chris - pm me which antibiotics you are on and I'll tell you about the alcohol thing (I am qualified to comment I promise). x


----------



## louloumay

Mmmmmmmmmmmm chips, you read my mind Katie.

Have a fab time Chris

Haven't managed to have a bath, been trying to get LO to sleep for an hour, finally succeded after threataning her with a party she's going to tomorrow. I mean not going to, oh you know what I mean  

Glad you're feeling a bit better Pocket, it's all so confusing isn't it. Blinkin tx  

Aurelia, Has Lo started biting your nips yet   Ouch!! Goodness know how I bf through that.

xx


----------



## Katie4

Oh don't Loulou, I can remember making NG cry when she accidentally bit me - I just shrieked so loud!


----------



## louloumay

I did that too! poor LO, poor boobs!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girlies   

Have you all had good weekends? This June weather is frubbish    I want some sun, please!!

Thought I'd drop you all a quick post as I need my FFs to give me a damn good talking to    
I am trying so hard to relax and not stress about what I hope is going to be forthcoming tx... but I am just constantly freeting and worrying    I am getting myself into such a state about these cysts and that they are going to develop into something more sinister and present more issues for us    Had I had a 'normal' AF I don't think I would be as anxious    but this weird bleed I had (which incidentally has stopped now) has completely thrown me and made me worry even more    I keep telling myself that I should be getting other symptoms if these cysts were something to worry about (never mind the fact that even the clinic said that they will go with my next AF   ), that this bleed I has may have had something to do with the fact I was DRing for about 7 weeks and my body is probably totally messed up    and that things happen for a reason (my mantra!) and I just need to go with it... BUT I JUST KEEP WORRYING AND I AM EVEN WINDING MYSELF UP JUST GOING ON ABOUT IT!!!   Aaaaargh!!! 

I am going to call the clinic tomorrow as planned and see what they say about the bleed I had so hopefully that should reassure me   

Sorry for ranting/my 'me' post girls - my mind is all of a dither at the moment    Strangely I actually feel pre-menstrual.. really short-tempered and irritable, grumpy, tired and emotional    Or maybe that's just called being a mum   

Hope you are all ok and in a better frame of mind than me   

Pocket xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Needless to say that I am 'fretting', not 'freeting', which sounds rather painful


----------



## louloumay

Hi Pocket,  

Perhaps you ARE premenstrual and the weird bleed you had was just a weird bleed. I would have thought all that d-regging  would have upset your cycle a bit. I don't know anything about cysts so I can't help you there, I do know about PMT though and how hormones can generally turn you into a complete mental case with no capacity for rationalising and absolutely no perspective on anything!   I also know it passes  . Even if it's not PMT Pocket, this WILL pass and you WILL feel 'normal' again soon. Time passes quickly and you'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about  

I'm so not surprised you feel the way you do, I would most certainly feel the same. You got yourself all emotionally and physically prepared and then had the rug pulled right out from under your feet. I'd be freeting too 

At the end of all this, when you have your baby in your arms, it will all pale into insignificance. And even if it doesn't happen (which of course it will) you'll deal with that too. So stop getting yourself at it  , go eat a big pile of chocolate, put your feet up and chillax (man)


----------



## PocketRocket

Thank you Loulou


----------



## louloumay

You ok hun?


----------



## PocketRocket

Yes thanks :0) You know what it's like... Head just feels a bit f?!*ed up at the moment!!! As well as my body ;0)

How are you doing hun? Things any better with DH?

PR xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Yeah we're ok  . I'm hiding upstairs perusing ebay  

I do know what it's like. It is all such a head f**k. Not forever though. (I bloody hope not anyway!!)

xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Pocket, Pocket, Pocket.  You poor thing. I totally agree with everything Loulou has said. You have totally been through the mill these last few months, no wonder your body and mind are all over the place. Once AF comes you will feel better. When it comes to the cyst thing, think about girls like me, we have poly cystic ovaries - I had about 16 on each last time I was scanned. It's just a result of wonky hormones, it's not going to cause you any problems sweetie     How many sleeps till the summer hols? 

Glad to hear you are shopping Loulou, me too. Ended up having a monster 2 hour kip when NG did and now am tired but my mind is all over the place.   

So I've been internet shopping for things I cannot afford. No doubt they will all go back.


----------



## PocketRocket

Thank you girls    Your 'talking tos' gave me the lift I needed   

You're right Katie - all the cysts you have to deal with and look where you are now    I think that's something to take inspiration from actually    Not long until the summer hols actually.. apparently everyone else (who works full time) has got 24 'getty ups' until the last day.. I, on the other hand, now have nine    so I can't complain!

I called the clinic today just to confirm that I should wait for my 'proper' AF to arrive before I made my day 21 appointment and they said that was fine. The nurse didn't sound at all concerned about my 'weird bleed'    and said that it was just all the hormones. So that has also helped me to relax a little - for the time being anyway   

How have your days been?

Did you get some sleep in the end Katie?! What did you buy online?!

Loulou - Did you take LO to her party in the end?!   

Aurelia, Lyns -   

Notty and Chris -    in your absence!

PR xxx


----------



## Katie4

Glad me and my cysts have made you feel better sweetie. I found out the other day the sonographer I will see privately is the same lady I saw with NG - who was also the same lady who did my diagnostic scan and counted all f-ing 17 cysts out loud on each ovary getting more and more excited as she got higher and higher all the while with the old dildo-cam in action  (what we go through!) She did spot my funny shaped womb though so can't complain as that was finally taken seriously at 12 weeks. 


We've got a christening to go to in September and I'm assuming (     ) that I won't fit into the dress I'd planned to wear so I did that really stupid thing of trying to buy normal clothes in one size bigger thinking they will fit.   I've also bought some flat pretty pumps because I've a feeling I'm not allowed to wear heels at all this pregnancy to try to stop my pelvis from killing me and putting me on crutches. (It's aching already) which is fine in the day as I can't totter and look after NG so I've got trainers and flats but I've got a 75th party to go to in ten days and no smart flat shoes. 


Glad the nurse was nice to you. AF coming will help you so much both physically and psychologically. Let's hope it arrives soon. 


Loulou, you OK sweetie? 


Lyns - how about you?


Aurelia - how is life with more teeth? 


Must go to bed, got to sleep at 2am and was up at 7am and had to work today while NG slept so should be ready for a decent night tonight. (Famous last words!)


Katie x


----------



## louloumay

Hi all, Glad you're feeling better Pocket. 

I managed to wiggle out of party duty actually, I made dp take her on the grounds of it being his turn to endure Pirate Pete's. He said it was 'horrific', so I made a good call.

I'm a bit cross with myself. I just made a rush ebay purchase and didn't read the listing properly  . I need a Mexican poncho for fancy dress camping, (the outdoor type as opposed to the mincing type - no offence intended), for the weekend after next. It's from bleedin CHINA  , and bound not to get here on time. Duh. If anyone reading this happens to have one, can I have it please!!! I'm happy to pay, just not £15 as they seem to be on ebay and amazon.

Oh well.........................

How are you Katie? Still testing like mad or are you starting to believe your luck!   I thought you were up a bit late last night  . Don't go buying any smart flats from a ebay seller in china. Not a good plan  

Lyns? We haven't heard  how your appointment went have we?  

Aurelia  

Notty?  

xx

oooh forgot to say, got my child-minding forms in, Ofsted rang to say they've got them so I should have a preregistration visit in the next 5 weeks. Better get to work sorting out risk assessments, policies, house and all that malarkey then


----------



## lyns76

KATIE FAB FAB NEWS !!!!!!

i am so happy for you. Its great to hear some lovely news, enjoy the next 9 months xxxxxx

Hi Girls hope everyone is doing ok.

went for my appointment and cnfirmed that hubby's count has gone up to 23 million which is above the wanted number, its just that they arent swimming too brill but it is such a huge improvment.  His first sample 4 years ago was only 1 million and his second about a year after that was only 11 million so i suppose it is good news.  We are now working on improving them swimming ability before treatment starts.
Got my appointment on 5th July to get my prescription then i can start the short protocol on my next bleed......YIKKES....here we bl**dy go again  
please dont let it be a waste of £4000!!!!!

Loves ya all.

Lyns xxx


----------



## Katie4

OMG Lyns that is AMAZING news and a far better test result than we ever had count-wise. Can't remember the swimming figures but that sounds so promising. Go your DH!!! 

Can I recommend pumpkin seeds? Dh ate them every day when we were trying for NG. (He barely touched them this time but his diet is better now in that he has museli every day so gets lots of nuts and seeds that way!) Ooh sweetie I'm keeping everything crossed hun x


----------



## Katie4

All very quiet on here.....everyone OK?   We need at least a couple of pages to keep Chris busy when she gets back.   

I have two reasons for my absence, DH is working a lot at night at the mo so no laptop and I am fed up of posting on my phone and NG was up puking on Tuesday night/Wed morning so I've been busy washing pretty much everything and ordering new pillows as I'm fairly confident washing them in the machine will make them all lumpy. She's better now and eating like a demon to make up for yesterday's slim pickings.


----------



## louloumay

Hi Katie, 

glad Ng is ok now. My LO puked at school today so I had a phone call in the middle of my first aid course and had to leave early. I didn't mind, the course was awful. Probably have to complain.

Any more symptoms?

Everyone else ok?

xx


----------



## aurelia

Just saying hi, have read through your posts but got to dash off to pilates in a minute so will catch up better tomorrow hopefully!!! x x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls   

Aurelia - Pilates? You are good. I haven't done any exercise since we started our first ICSI over 2 years ago    Ooops    DH made me go on a 10 mile bike ride when we went to Cornwall and it killed me. Not to mention suffering from severe stinging nettle injuries as a result of falling off my bike in front of about 20 people. Exercise isn't for me   

Katie and Loulou - You poor things having to deal with lots of puke over the last few days    I'm dreading the whole tummy bug/toddler issues. I don't 'do' sick    Exercise or sick   

  to everyone else!

AFM, ok here - No sign of AF yet, although (.)(.) are very sore and have been very irritable this week    but we'll see as it could just be my hormones up the spout    Have been very busy around the house today - we're spending a lot of money re-doing bits and bobs.. I suppose we should be keeping extra by 'just in case', but to be honest, it's nice to take our minds off everything by doing up the house. My mum says I'm 'nesting' - quite what for, I don't know   

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Sore (.)(.) Pocket? Sure you're not pg?


----------



## PocketRocket

Ha - not unless it's an immaculate conception Loulou!! Trust me


----------



## Katie4

One born every minute USA is on more 4 now- omg so different to the uk one.


----------



## lyns76

Hi friends, hope you are all ok.

katie, even though i have gone through it myself i just cant watch much of one born every minute, i have to close my eyes at the crucial bits ha !!!  i am a wus though, i had a fab labour though so i do feel for some of those poor women on there that have a bad time of it.....makes me wonder why we wanna go through it again, must be the fantastic end result.
Yeh good news about hubbys test, cant believe it myself, we are still heading down the icsi route but nice to know that for once its not because of a low count, just cus the little bliters are lazy!!!
I am under no illusion though and not expecting a natural miracle, our consultant did say it would have probably happened by now if it was ever gonna but i guess helping things along wont hurt.  hubby is on wellman vits just to see if we can help get a better outcome with the ICSI.

My little boy keeps telling me he doesnt want a brother or sister, just a dog that can play Batman with him....dont you just love em !!
My mum also thinks i should wait a bit longer and c wot happens, she also worries about the money that we have got to pay out.  She has no idea how upset i am about the whole thing though as i dont want her to worry about me, she just keeps saying i have plenty of time yet for another, not how i see it though i'm affraid   

Lots of love 

Lyns x


----------



## Katie4

Oh lyns, she probably means well. At the end of the day it is you and your partners choice when it's time to try again. Every family is different. 

Pocket, sorry your boobs are sore and af still hasn't arrived. When it does come it will be a great sign and a new start x 

Loulou, shame about your little girl. Ng was so hot it was bonkers and so sad she got so distressed when she was throwing up. Shes right as rain now though. Cheeky rascal is still taking her nappy off in her bed! 

Aurelia how was pilates? 

Am glued to OBEM...it's so different. Birthing centres rather than hospitals with only one anaesthetist?! My step family is American and they were like "make sure there's always an anaethesist on duty- i explained in my hosp I could have had a heart and lung transplant  so having an anaesthetist wasnt something I was overly worried about! 

I had a pretty crappy labour with ng and a prolonged and awful recovery so there's a chance I will opt for an elective section but with a toddler it's a hard call to make but the truth is I would have recovered more quickly from a section than i did from my delivery.


----------



## aurelia

Hi all, back again with no more rushing about today! Pilates was good, it's my first term back and I am enjoying it again although it's hard leaving Lanora when it's normally her bed time, she really hates it especially as she's always tired when I have to go out. At least it gives DH a chance to try and settle her, but I do hate leaving her. I did pilates regularly for 5 years before tx and I really want to get back to my fitness level before we go for FET, I think that's the main way I'm coping with the waiting for tx actually, looking at  this inbetween time as a break in the journey to get back to optimum fitness for another success.  Lanora is doing great with her 2 teeth though and I've not had any bites on the boob yet! Have had another surprise AF start yesterday, I feel like I'm still bf Lanora loads but seems like my hormones don't agree. Anyway, I've had a right laugh today as my 33yr old DH got asked for ID to buy a bottle of vodka in Netto, I mean I know he looks young for his age but that's ridiculous, and when the woman saw his birthday on his driving licence she actually said 'bloody hell'   

Lyns - My mother is just the same, she's always wanting to look on the bright side rather than actually understand how I feel, but I think that's just because emotionally she can't deal with me having to go through all of it. I gave up trying to explain to her about it and realised that actually I'm so much stronger because I do have the courage to face it all and deal with it rather than naively hanging on waiting. You have to do what's right for you and just get support elsewhere when you need it   

Katie - I watched on episode of the uk OBEM, when they had that woman who'd had IVF. I just found it amazing how much they argued!! I think my poor DH was so exhausted by my whoppingly long labour he was just cheering me on to keep going and let Lanora actually come out!

loulou - sounds like your childminding stuff is coming along nicely. Hope your LO is feeling better  Lanora had a temperature on saturday then a load of tiny red spots all over her body for 3 days which the GP expertly diagnosed as 'a virus leaving her body'   

PR - Hope you are doing ok, hope AF is making a beeline from me to you as we speak   

Chris must be back from her hols soon??


----------



## lyns76

Hi girlies,

just watching Glasto with a nice glass of cider   

Hope you are all well.

Does anyone know if Asda is still about the cheapest for IVF drugs?

Its been that long since i have had to think about all this !!!

Lyns xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi :0)

I've read on another thread about Asda being cheap for drugs and I wondered if I'd read it right!! Asda as in the supermarket?!!!! Or is there some kind of pharmaceutical company of the same name that I know nothing about?!!! Do share - after wasting almost £700 on DRing drugs, scans, etc to no avail I'm keen to save some cash!!!

Hope you're all ok? Enjoying the weather? Supposed to be a scorcher tomorrow!

All ok here - still feeling quite short tempered and bloated now.. But keeping my spirits up ;0)

Lots of love xxx


----------



## Katie4

Quick post on the drugs- working in the trade as I do would recommend you shop around and get lots of quotes. asda were offering certain drugs at cost last year. Have heard that fazeley pharmacy (Internet, based in tamworth) is very cheap and reliable. They can even send drugs needing refrigeration by post- they put chill packs in with them. 

Don't be afraid of Internet pharmacies they still have to meet the same requirements as high street shops and usually will be a high street shop which also does internet pharmacy. X


----------



## louloumay

Hi girls,  Just a quick check in, been fairly busy getting ready for the camping weekend whilst trying to get ready for ofsted/childminding. Very pre menstrual too so it is certainly a challenge. LO is still a bit under the weather so her behaviour has been a little erratic, a nice way of saying a pain in the bum  

Lyns, I've been looking at drug prices too. Depending on where your clinic is, Healthcare at Home and Central Homecare seem the most competitive.

Katie, hope all is well. How is nightnappygate?

Pocket Af turned up?

Aurelia, Lanora feeling better?

Got to go, my hormones have mysteriously affected my laptop mouse pad, the cursor keeps wandering all over the screen and moving my typing all over the place. It's driving me potty  

xx


----------



## Katie4

Hi! 

Loulou I'm currently watching her strip off on the monitor. My amazing intentions to act with indifference were hard to follow tonight, I've been working all day and am tired and grumpy. Didn't totally lose the plot but am going to have to insist the side comes off the cot this weekend as I'm struggling to bend over it! 

Hope your af arrives before the weekend (assuming that's the right thing to wish for !) and that you have a terrific time. Did the poncho arrive? 

Hugs to everyone else - not long now till we've got some cycle buddies on the board  

Btw girls, can anyone explain why when the women who have regular cycles and no known physical problems have treatment  do some people down reg and others not have to?  I'm confused!


----------



## aurelia

Hi girls

Lanora is feeling better thanks, she's got a runny nose from one of her mates but that's not too hard to deal with. 

Katie - From what I understand, some clinics prefer to always down reg because it gives them a 'clean slate' to start with so they can control the tx cycle from the very start. I think it depends clinic to clinic as to what they do, but as far as I know that's the reason, some will do a 'natural' tx cycle but others down reg only.

Loulou - Have a lovely camping holiday! where are you going? (apologies for being thick if you've already said 50 times!)

PR - How are you doing? Survived the hot weather ok? I absolutely hate it  It was 34.5C after our buggy bootcamp class yesterday.

Bye for now, love to everyone xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Missed you all lately   

No sign of AF yet    but I have definitely been getting what feels like ovulation pains since Sunday. I know they aren't exactly ovulation pains as such as I have no eggs to ovulate with    but I believe I have been getting them all the same    So hopefully AF won't be too many weeks from now    Am ready to get going again. Spent the weekend with our friends who are due yesterday, in fact, and we love them to bits - but having a 9 month pg bump in your face all day kind of rubs it in, you know?!   

Had a **** two days at work - hate our new head, hate the faff and fuss and politics that come with it all - just want to stay at home and be a mum    Teaching is a bad job to be in when you don't care    Got home and just cried today    F climbed on my lap and grabbed my head with his hands and gave me a huge kiss         Made my day.. he obviously knew I was upset and knew he had to make me feel better - didn't think he was that far advanced in the emotional department just yet (It did degenerate into a bout of facelicking and hair pulling but the main intention was there).

DH is currently being a t*at and can't remember his login for our childcare vouchers so looks like the childminder will have to go without this month    That is why I am usually in charge of these things   

Geez - shall I stop moaning now?!!   

Sorry   

Katie - hope you are as tired and grumpy as me.. then I won't feel as bad   

Loulou - yuo aren't alone with the lairy hormones, girlfriend   

Lyns, Aurelia, Chris -   

Better go - time to nag DH and tell him what an idiot he can be.

Pocket xxxx


----------



## lyns76

Thanks Katie4, i will look into fazeley pharmacy as it is infact the next town from me, only about 15 mins away from me.

My heads done in with it all, i want another so bad but i keep thinking about the money we will waste if it doesnt work   

Wouldnt be too bad if we were loaded.  I really need someone to tell me what to do ha !!!!!!

Hope you are all well, got my appointment Tues so gotta make up my mind once and for all, dont know how i could cope if it fails.

Oh bug*er what a nightmare !!

Lyns


----------



## PocketRocket

Just realised that my reference to my working week has been replaced with the word 'poop'... That word is too lame for the week I've had - I wrote 'sh*t' because I meant it ;0) Just had to clarify!!

Lyns - know what you mean about £. I don't know what we will do if it doesn't work either.. Perhaps call on the Royal Bank of Mother-in-law ;0) But if you want someone to tell you what to do.. Then I say 'go for it'!! Better to regret something you've done and all that... ;0)

PR xxx


----------



## coully69

Hello all,hopeyou dont mind me joining in. I have a baby girl Darcey who is 6mths old and I too am desperate for another.I have had post natal depression which I think was down to the fact that I was unsure whether I would have this wonderful experience again. It took me 5 full IVF attempts to get Darcey (no frozen cycles). I am starting a new cycle next month and am feeling nervous,excited, and everything else. So desperately want to be pregnant again and am so envious of those who can make choices about when and why etc. Good luck to everyone.xxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Welcome Coully!   Good luck for next month  , 6th time lucky?  I'm having tx in august as are others on this thread.

Got to dash, camping gear to pack, fake tan to apply.........just wanted to say hi. 

Hope you're feeling better Pocket.   Write crap instead of sh*t next time! Not censored  

Good luck tues Lyns  

Aurelia, I'm off to a little 'festival' some friends organise, about 150 people go. Very civilised  

Katie, bless ng with her night strips  Easy for me to say that, I don't have to deal with all the bed stripping! 



Love to all xxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Loulou, u are a girl after my own heart with thefake tan! This festival isn't in Yorkshire is it?!


----------



## louloumay

You're as bad as me with the late nights on the computer Katie  

The fake tan went fairly well actually, there was a bit of orange knee and eyebrow to be fixed this morning but other than that I'm an even shade of fake brown all over  

The camping is in the New Forest. Nice


----------



## Katie4

Ah couldn't sleep. Went to the cinema to see Bridesmaids (first trip in 12 months!) was funny if rather stomach churning (I'm a little delicate on anything grim at the mo) which was hard to hide when sat between two good friends. They thought it was gross too but I suspect weren't wanting to heave!   

Coully welcome hun.

Lyns - ooh you are in the Midlands like me then.    It's always worth a phone call to get a quote. 

Aurelia, thanks for the info. 

Pocket, it's nearly the summer hols, just hang on in there sweetie.   

Last night when I was out the subject of pregnancies came up and there were literally 5 new people that we all knew of. Mainly first timers and one second timer (whose LO is now 9 months and they weren't "trying"!) Obviously the news wasn't as hard for me as it usually is until my one friend announced that she was supposed to be an Aunty but her SIL had a m/c at 11 weeks   and she'd already had two scans and seen the HB. I welled up. She's diabetic but I didn't know that put you at higher risk, so of course I googled it just because I was being nosey and although I quickly closed the explorer down I did see some headlines linking increased risk of m/c to pcos. Must be    my first scan is 2 weeks on Sat. If we get that far I'll be 9 weeks by date of LMP or 8 and a half based on when I think I ovulated. Can't come quick enough although I doubt I'll feel as reassured as I thought I would.

K x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi chicks   

Katie - STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE!!!   It's a long bloody haul waiting for the scans, and as you say, they only put your mind at rest temporarily    Do stay    We will help you - you are our inspiration at the moment, lady!!

Loulou - I bet you feel so much better with some fake tan on.. I used to use it all the time before LO arrived    Have a fantastic time!

Lyns - All the best for Tuesday   

Chris - When are you back? We're missing you   

Aurelia - Hope your little snotgoblin is doing ok   

Coully - Welcome    We all know exactly where you are coming from    You are in the right place!

AFM, still very stressed from work and have been losing sleep over it all    I am oversensitive at the best of times, but I wasn't expecting to have to deal with such crap working only two days per week    I am supposed to be relaxing and preparing my body for the next lot of tx... Work stress is not conducive to this!! In addition to that, the new head isn't exactly filling me with confidence if I need to tell her about my tx at some point    I tell you something though girls, this next cycle has to go well.. I don't think I can work for much longer if I want to keep my sanity    But it's all right because apparently teachers have an 'easy life'    I have taken out some of my rage on ******** following some ignorant comments from 'friends' on there.. I feel a ** cull coming on  

Lots of Love to you all xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oooh cull away Pocket, it's always very therapeutic! And thanks, have stepped away from google! Keep thinking of popping back on but it will only make me feel worse. Had some dull aches this morning and started to stress so need to separate myself from it a bit! 

LynS - ooh Tuesday....not long now.


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,   
Just thought I'd check in to see how you are all doing? I'm guessing you may have been making the most of this gorgeous weather!   

Back to work tomorrow    Sooo got those Sunday night blues   

PR xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Hi girls! 

Been away from here feeling pants. Dh came home with a tummy bug on thur and I think I've had it along with ever increasing nausea (not complaining ;-)- well not too much). My hormones are going bonkers- spots, grumpiness and tears- I cried at the railway children while making dinner. Dh is being much better than expected and keeps me smiling by reminding me this is all I've ever wanted! 

Pocket i don't work Monday's but still feel sad on a Sunday that the weekend and family time is over! Soppy Katie! Have a huge day on Tuesday and am dreading it. Although have discovered today that haribo kiddies mix really helps to relieve nausea! Just got to shovel them in in secret! 

Lyns- such a big day for you on Tuesday - take a deep breath you will be fine and we are here for you

Loulou, how was your weekend? Perfect weather!!! Bet your daughter loved it too, nice to be all together away from home for the weekend

Aurelia how's things with you? 

Chris...I've lost track of time, are you back now? 

Right off to watch tv and do some ironing!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi Ladies,

I'm back!!  Feels like I've been gone for ages, so much has happened with you all.  We had a great holiday, I even got to lie in the sun and put my feet up as Holly decided she was happy to go in to club for the second week so that was great for all of us. Of course I cried when she went - we've been joined at the hip for the last 2.5 years, I've never really left her anywhere other than the odd hour with the grandparents; so think it was a good experience for us all. She had a lovely time though, she went sailing and even had a couple of tennis lessons - all included in the club.  More importantly, my toothache cleared up and by the end of the first week I'd forgotten all about it.  

Of course, I've excessed on the eat/drink thing so now going to joining slimming world this week to try and get in control again before we start any more tx. We could start tx again in a fortnight but think I'm going to delay a month so that I can lose some weight and give us a chance to find some money from somewhere. 

Holly has just put her dolly on the naughty step and slammed the door behind her - I really don't do that! She has really had a few serious tantrums recently - dread to think what her teenage years will be like.

So, how is everyone. 
Katie, how long until your scan?
Lyns - good luck for tomorrow.
PR - Work sounds awful. When do you hope to do tx again, sorry I've lost track.
Loulou - your festival sounds intriguing. hope it's fun.
Coully - welcome.
Aurelia - how are you doing?
Have I missed anyone - apologies.

Right - I'll start reading back properly now - hope I haven't put my foot in it with anyone.

 

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Hi Chris, just wanted to welcome you back


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks - was getting a complex that you'd all gone quiet as soon as I got back!   

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Glad you had a lovely relaxing holiday Chris  . I must say, you were very brave putting Holly in a club, I'm not surprised you cried! It takes a great leap of faith to trust someone else to care for our LO's, it's something we have to get used to I suppose. I'm dreading when dd goes to school full time   . I laughed about Holly chastising her dolly  . Sometimes LO really shouts at hers too and I always wonder where she learnt that from. I hope it's not me  

Katie, hope you are feeling better today. It sounds like you feel rubbish and you think it's not ok to. Well it is. You complain about feeling sick, tearful etc as much as you like  . You can't help being full of hormones and a bit nutty!  

Pocket, have you been back to work yet? Was it any better?  It's so crap when work impacts on your home life like that. I'm sensitive too so I can imagine how hard it is for you when things are so unsettled - you're not allowed to call yourself 'oversensitive' by the way! It implies there is a problem with feeling your feelings strongly. Being 'oversensitive' was part of my childhood narrative, it really used to p*ss me off  . I'm empathic, I have feelings, ALRIGHT?  

Lyns, scan today? Hope it goes well  

Aurelia, Coully   

AFM, camping was a bit of an ordeal if I'm honest. Although it was lovely to see LO having such a great time, the combination of a period, a stinking cold and, worst of all, being camped up with two heavily pregnant women was a bit much. Especially as one of them was my sister who has pretty much completely excluded me from anything remotely related to her pregnancy and spent the whole time discussing it with the other pg girl, as if I had never been pg myself. How does ignoring the fact that this is all really hard for me help exactly? She hasn't once acknowledged to me that she recognises that I might be struggling with my feelings.  
I think how she has (not) dealt with it hurts more that anything else. 

Sorry for the moan, need to get it all out. All I seem to do is moan lately............. 

xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girlies   

Good to have you back Chris - sounds as though you had a fab time! I agree with Loulou about you being brave putting LO into the club.. I would have been sobbing too! But it's good that she decided she was happy to go though    I hope you are disgustingly brown and tanned   

Loulou - You aren't always moaning    Well, if you are - then I think we all probably do    I think I would have felt the same being cooped up with two pg women    My friend (the one who I predicted was pg at 8wks) was due a week ago and I have been texting for updates and to see if she is ok. I said last night that I hope she wasn't feeling too fed up - she replied that she was. The nasty/bitter/twisted part of me thought 'Try my version of feeling fed up - I prefer yours   '... Isn't that a really nasty thing to say?!! I feel quite bad for writing it down now    Tell me you would all think the same thing!!    As for your sister, I totally understand your frustration. Remember, that's why your FFs are here - because we understand - unfortunately no one else does   

Lyns - Let us know how you got on   

Coully, Aurelia -   

Katie - How are you feeling today? Hope your big day at work went well   

AFM - Work was a smidgen better than last week so gotta be grateful for small mercies    Summer holiday countdown is on    I don't know how I managed to work full time before LO was born! AF STILL hasn't arrived    and am getting a little anxious about it all now... Don't want to worry as I know that won't help bring it on - but am having the usual, stupid, irrational thoughts like 'What if I never have a period again?'   

DH is back to work now so family time is over now    His long hours always take a bit of getting used to again    Am feeling absolutely shattered today!

PR xxx


----------



## louloumay

That's not nasty at all Pocket. I would think the same thing, worse probably.  At least you want to know that she's ok. I'm away for the week my sis is due and quite tempted to turn my phone off  ............now _that's_ nasty, bitter and twisted!


----------



## PocketRocket

Some may think so perhaps, but strangely enough, I know where you're coming from Loulou...!!! ;0)


----------



## louloumay

Thanks for understanding Pocket!  . Of course I wont do it, I'd never forgive myself if something bad happened and I missed the call.


----------



## Katie4

Evenings. 

DH has sorted out an old laptop so I can post properly again!! Hoorah.

Now, let me catch up:

Chris, glad you had a terrific time and what is a few pounds when you have terrific memories. Well done to you and H on the children's club. 

Loulou, AF, camping and two pregnant women and one of whom is your sister.....clearly a terrific combination! It sounds like my idea of hell without any IF issues to further complicate matters. And you will be on hol, turn your phone off and just check morning and night. I was like a woman possessed when my sister was due and then in labour. And you do not moan, you express your views and that is what this is all about  

Pocket, such a tricky one that, because she probably is fed up, most heavily pregnant women are to some extent and yep some take their situation for granted and moan more quickly but I'll bet she didn't mean to be tactless.    How many sleeps till the summer hols?

Well I had my midwife appointment today. At 11.40 on the dot which was nice. The midwife I will be having is on sick leave till October so I had another who was one of the ones I saw when I had NG so that was nice. NG was a total superstar, I was so proud of her. We were in there for 40+ minutes, it was hot and boring but she did not play up at all. We did have lunch before we went and did take in her pram and toys and a carton of apple juice (saved for real treats/emergencies) and a banana...and there was a student midwife who she warmed to. Their scales made me 4lb heavier than mine do    and weren't even on zero when I got on....not ideal surely?! Anyhow, I now have maternity paperwork- it's so surreal, especially as we've not had a scan yet...10 sleeps till that one. Sorry didn't mean to ramble...

Aurelia, you OK?

Hugs, Katie x


----------



## PocketRocket

You're right Katie - she didn't mean to be tactless at all and it was my fault for asking her in the first place really ;0) As I said, was just feeling a little oversensitive and sorry for myself... Just wishing I was in her position :0(

I bet it all seems surreal for you at the moment - still, as soon as you see that little miracle in the screen then you can breathe a sigh of relief - until the next scan anyway!

Hi to everyone xxx


----------



## Katie4

Ah yes, clearly your fault for caring! Sorry, didn't mean to make it sound like that, just don't want you wasting energy on her when you've enough on your plate to deal with, especially as there will be a birth announcement to manage from her any day now. 

Have you talked to your clinic about af? My cycles were 50+ days for years and I would find it horrendous waiting and getting more and more agitated, worrying about everythng so I've an idea how you are feeling sweetie. X x x


----------



## PocketRocket

No - haven't called the clinic yet.. think I will wait a few more weeks and maybe call them then if there is still no sign    
To be honest, if I think about it rationally, I was taking the buserelin for 7 weeks which is a bloody long time! No wonder my body doesn't know what it is doing! It is bound to take a while to get out of my system.
My AFs are usually very regular, but seeing as the last AF I had was brought on by taking the Ovitrelle injection, even that could be considered a 'fake' period... so I have no idea when my AF 'should' arrive as my cycle has been messed up for ages because of the IF drugs! 
I asked DH if he was worried about it not having come yet and he said 'No - it will happen when your body is ready for it.' I guess that isn't bad reasoning for a bloke   

Hope you are all having a good day xxx


----------



## Katie4

Gosh your DH is very sensible. Well done him!   

How's everyone today? How did Tuesday go Lyn? 

I'm tired...and feel sick. Still only 8 more sleeps until our first scan.


----------



## lyns76

hi girlies,

katie, not long now till your scan, everything will be just fine honey, very exciting times ahead for you xx

PocketRocket, hope the AF arrives soon so your body can get back to normal, well just for a short time....would be very very nice if the next time your AF stays away is because you have lovely little bun baking in the oven    xx


louloumay, well done for making it through the camping and i hope you enjoyed it as best you could have, families hey, i am sure they dont mean to be so insensitive towards us, i guess they just have now idea how heartbreaking this sh*t is...chin up sweatheart xx 

Coully and Aurelia- how are you doing? well i hope xxxxxx   
Have I missed anyone - apologies if i have.....between work, our new house and thinking about my looming treatment i am fast loosing track of where everyone is at but as always my love to you all xxxxxxxxxxxx

As for me, hospital went well on Tues, am now armed with mu HUUUUUUUGHEEEE prescription to get priced up and can start the short protocol on next period eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkk !!!!
Gotta have extra injections to try and help implantation and reduce the risk of me bleeding before test date which i am not at all looking forward too as the needle is a lot bigger cause it has to go into mu muscle and not just under the skin as the normal ones do.....wonder how many attempts it will take me to do that   

Still mixed emotions so looking forward to starting but very worried about how i will cope if i doesnt work...wot will be will be i suppose, if i dont try i may regret it for the rest of my life.
I am totaly and utterly in love with my little boy so he will get me through it, he has started calling me his princess now so how can i not be happy with what i have got   ...love you H xxxxxxxxxxx

May mother nature sprinkle us all with her lovely fertility dust xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LYNS


----------



## PocketRocket

Lyns - How exciting!! A fresh start for you with your new home - it would be rude not to put a new baby into it    The jab sounds daunting I agree - but you will be fine.. remember how scary we all found the injections at first?! It'll be a breeze   Your comment about your LO calling you his princess made me smile    soooooo cute! It is all very scary and exciting at the same time... I don't think those emotions ever change, do they?!   

Katie, Loulou, Aurelia, Chris, Coully -   to you all.

AFM,  I woke up this morning to a text from a friend who is now expecting their third baby (how greedy, don't you think?!   ) and my friend has just texted to say that she has given birth to a little boy.. so am feeling a little flat today    I also thought AF was on its way but not so sure now - think my body is just playing silly b*ggers again   

Have a great weekend y'all xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Morning all,

Pocket - such mixed emotions when you get texts like this. Feels like a kick in the guts doesn't it. Don't beat yourself up about the logic of it, logic to how we feel doesn't come in to it - hence the men not understanding. You are just at the beginning of tx though, in a few weeks we could all be celebrating your news too - which, I hasten to add, will be very well received - unless these other 'undeserving' folk!

Lyns - glad Tuesday went well for you - interested to see that you're doing the short protocol. Does your clinic do that as a matter of course?  The big needle sounds a tad daunting - but like Pocket said, they were all daunting in the beginning and now look at us!

Katie - hope the sickness is easing a bit.

Hi to everyone else - sorry got to run. DH has just returned with Holly from a bike ride (her on a seat on his) and I was worried sick!!

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girlies,

Just thought I'd drop by to see how you all are   

AF finally arrived on Saturday    and appointment for scan (and    if all is clear, the big DR injection) on 29th July.. Feeling strangely excited   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

That is terrific pocket!! Bet you feel so much better. If I'm right that will mean four of you will be cycling very close together! Come on, we can do this, a board of bumps!

Sorry no more personals - can't read back Properly on phone and have nausea and heartburn a go-go tonight so in bed hoping to sleep it off. Scan (reassurance) on Saturday, feels very close all of a sudden! 

Night night x


----------



## Katie4

Everyone OK? 

Ng woke up crying this morning, didn't want her breakfast, nibbled a cereal bar in the car on the way to nursery and just didn't seem herself. Have called to check but it's lunch/sleep time so they are getting someone to call me back. Just want to pick her up. Am bored of work. 

Lyns have you bagged a bargain on your meds? 

Pocket, how are you feeling, school hols are imminent, bet you can't wait. 

Aurelia, how are your nights now? Any more teeth?

Chris, are you still minding your friend's LO? 

Loulou, you OK? Are you still on DHEA? 

Scan is still on for tomorrow. It all fees very surreal still. I bit like I've made it all up   It's just not the same not having a 7 week scan! By dates I'm 9 weeks today but I think, (hope pray, assuming there will be a LO in there with a HB  ) that I will be about 8+3 to 8+5. How do people wait until 12 weeks?

Will of course let you know how I get on...miss you guys, guess we are too busy being Mummies. x x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi Katie,

Poor NG    Sounds like she is coming down with something... Did you hear back from the nursery? Know what you mean about being bored with work    I've had it with my measley two days - god knows how I did it full time   

Yes - Looking forward to the summer hols a lot.. although feeling a little apprehensive about our appointment on 29th now - knew the    wouldn't last for long!! Desperate to start again - and if all goes well and we do begin another cycle.. having the majority of appointments during the summer holidays would put my mind at ease too. I always get myself stressed out over having to lie and take time off. I'm not sure that I want to tell my new headteacher the real reason    Ah well, fingers crossed someone up there is going to help us out this time   

Scan tomorrow hey?!    I don't know how people manage to wait 12 weeks either! I must admit, it seems like ages ago since you said you had one booked - if it feels like that for me, then goodness knows how the last few weeks must have dragged for you!!   I shall be keeping my phone close by tomorrow to check for your update   

Going to see my friend's new baby boy this afternoon.. going to be brave   

Lots of love to everyone xxx


----------



## Katie4

Big hugs for your visit. Not long till the 29th now   

And yes, it has been a LOOOOONNNGGG few weeks, not that I am complaining you understand girls but it will be nice to have photographic evidence (all being well  ) that I have not made this up. Am finishing early and going to get her now.


----------



## Katie4

One beanie on board. Am 8weeks 4/5 days. Edd 24th February - am so happy and grateful. Thanks so much for your support girls x


----------



## chrisgib

Well Done Katie!

So glad the scan went well today. Now you can start looking at pushchairs!! (my favourite hobby)

Hope we'll all be catching you up soon.

Christine
xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh me too CHris, it would be so amazing to have lots and lots of good news.x


----------



## PocketRocket

Woohoo!!!!!!! Sooooooo pleased Katie - that is such good news.

Posting in my phone as I'm out so only a quickie but just had to let you know how pleased I am for you!!!!

And long may these beautiful pregnancies continue..!!!!!! ;0)

Love & luck to you all xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Yippee!!!! That's wonderful news Katie! Good for you  

I'm still trying to get my sh*t together after camping and hols on IOW so haven't read back posts. I trust you've all been well? Hopefully I will catch up with everyone's news soon.

AFM I've got an appointment at the clinic Monday and am supposed to start tx in the next couple of weeks. I'm not feeling great about it. It feels like such a waste of time. Anyway I'm sure you'll all give me a good talking to and I'll be fine


----------



## PocketRocket

Too bloody right we will give you a good talking to, lady!   

I do understand how you are feeling Loulou   I felt exactly the same as you at the start of our last cycle as you all well know... and look what happened    I honestly believe that those cysts appeared on my ovaries because I was not emotionally and mentally ready to begin the rollercoaster again... your mindset really does have an effect on your body.
And, for what it is worth, my sister has this 'airy fairy/reasons for illnesses' book which even I think/thought was a load of b*llocks    until she read the section on cysts - apparently they signify 'playing painful old movies of the mind... nursing pain'    Quite relevant to my situation I thought...   

It isn't a waste of time - you are just trying to protect yourself    but you must only go ahead if you feel truly ready.

Lecture over   

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Loulou am on phone so struggle with proper posts but will be back to give you more of what pocket has dished out tomorrow hopefully. 

I think if I had to sum it all up in a sentence it would be a case of if you don't try you will never know. And I know it's not simple, it's desperately emotional, there are no guarantees but there's a chance it will work and if you can, try to think about that. 

Big hugs and sweet dreams x


----------



## louloumay

Thanks girls, you always say the right things xx


----------



## Katie4

Was worrying in the night I'd sounded patronising  as know sometimes what I mean and how it comes across as a post are quite different so am relieved I've not upset you Lou. 

And purlease.... Try to forget the money, it's a gift from your lovely mum and will give her so much pleasure to know she's helping you.

It's going to be an exciting and emotional couple of months on this thread... So remember to use it  for support. 

Happy rainy Sunday x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hear hear Katie    Katie is right Loulou, your mum wouldn't lend you the money if she didn't want to. You know as a mummy yourself how important it is to see your child happy - just because you are a growed up    your mum still feels that way about you   

Wouldn't it just be so lovely to have everyone up the duff on this thread   



Pocket xx


----------



## louloumay

You girls are so great, I don't know what I'd do without you all to sort my head out  

I have no idea what you mean by being patronising Katie, even re-reading your post I still can't see it.

xx


----------



## Katie4

Well that's good and just typical of me over worringing loulou!


----------



## louloumay

Right then. How is everyone?

Katie,  have you started to relax into your pg now you've had the scan?

Pocket, still feeling excited about starting tx again?

Chris, how are you doing? I've lost track of where you're at?

Lyns, what protocol are you doing? Sorry if you've already said, my 42 year old memory isn't so good!

Aurelia, you ok ?

Have I missed anyone?

I've just dropped LO off at her 'big school' for an hour this afternoon to help her settle in in september  , my baby................
Got appointment at the clinic today, DP was ok about signing the reams of forms last night, I strategically left it to the last minute so as not to ruin his weekend, clever me   Be back later to let you know how it went.


----------



## chrisgib

Good luck Loulou - both with the appointment, and the big school visit - bet you're feeling emotional.   

Sorry I've not been on much - life is just trolling along, haven't much going on really. We plan to start treatment next month, but not sure when that will be - mid August. Haven't even looked at the paperwork yet.  I'm just trying to get my head, and my body in a better place. So now doing slimming world and actually quite liking it. Haven't lost much yet, but I'm feeling quite positive about weigh in tomorrow. Headwise is more tricky - considering getting the Zita West CD's - anyone else tried them, or is it just mumbo jumbo?  Also, can't help but worry that this tx will be our last, not sure how I'll cope with that.  Saying all that, I do feel like we're leaving the baby phase now. Holly has changed so much in the last couple of months, certainly nothing like a baby now - except for her need for cuddles.  

Sorry - rambling on there. How's everyone else doing?

I'm going to see my parents in Harrogate for a week next week - it's their diamond wedding anniversary, 60 years, can you imagine that?! It's our 10th next year, and the way things are going I'm not sure we'll even make it that far.  

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Just a quicky before I pop off to the clinic.

Wanted to empathise with your comment about your anniversary Christine. We've been together 10 years too and I think I know exactly what you mean!


----------



## louloumay

Well, went to the appointment, not sure what the point of it was, except to pick up some syringes. I'm not complaining, it's most refreshing to have a casual consultant again after the overly administrative, by the book, conveyor belt of a clinic I had last time. So............. buserelin to down reg for a few weeks and then scan on the 8th August. Should start jabbing in a week or so.

DP being fairly relaxed about it too. Phew. My only anxiety now is that I haven't been eating particularly healthily, I've had a few drinks, a fair amount of tea and been crap at taking my vitamins. Oh and the DHEA dilemma is ongoing. There's always something!!!  

Enough about me me me.

Chris, regarding Zita West, I would go for it. If it helps you feel more in control of this god awful process then it must be good even if it is a load of rubbish. Which, incidentally, I don't think it is.


----------



## chrisgib

Loulou - stop beating yourself up!  No point worrying about what you ate/drank previously, but you are in control from now on. Saying that, I'm not overly convinced it makes a jot of difference - except in our heads. Is tea not allowed, surely it's so low in caffeine..? Glad the appointment went well, maybe the relaxed approach will help you relax about it all too. Think we all have to accept that it's a nightmare process that turns us all in to witches and our DH's in to *******! It really does all impact on our relationships, some manage to make this a positive though - I need to learn to do that, rather than driving DH away. 

I've just PM'd someone who's selling CD's on FF - I'll see what she says too. 

I made a big deal at the weekend about moving the tv out of the dining room as Holly is a nightmare eater. Now of course I've had to move her highchair in the playroom for her to watch tv, otherwise she's on hunger strike! I think it's clear who's in charge in this house. Been reading the Gina Ford fussy eaters book - she'd be horrified.   

Right - better go and face bathtime.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hiya girls   

Chris and Loulou - Big hugs to you both     You sound a little down today   

Chris - re: the Zita West CDs.. I have got the one that you use during the 2WW, pre-ET and post ET and I loved it. I think they probably work best in conjunction with acupuncture but nonetheless, they are really relaxing and, as Loulou said, help you feel as if you are in some way exercising a little control during this process   

Loulou - Sounds as though the appointment went well    Know what you mean re: the eating healthily    (as I am sat here dunking chocolate digestives into a cup of tea with one large sugar   ) As long as you get your 5-a-day, pop your pills in the morning and opt for decaf tea - well, you can't go wrong, can you?!   

Last day at work tomorrow before the summer hols    Can't wait to spend 47 whole days with my baby boy   

Pocket Rocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

I think you are probably right Chris, it doesn't make much difference. I did everything 'right' last tx and it was my worst ever result. I think maybe that's why I've let it all fall by the wayside a bit. I'm fed up with the impact it has on all our lives and feel much better for not bothering, if that makes sense. I just get the odd (very small) twinge of guilt occasionally. I wouldn't be me if I was permanently guilt free. Comes from having an alcoholic father  

That said, if I could have afforded it this time I would definitely do the acupuncture again and the Zita West stuff! Just so that when I look back I could say I really tried. If I'm really honest with myself, my last treatment was the final one really. I gave it my all and it didn't work. This next one is more to give me closure than a baby. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone.

Enough of all that, I have real problems with LO and food too Chris. She is the slowest eater in the world. It drives me bonkers. I have such a hard time not making a big issue out of it. I know it doesn't help to, but sometimes I just lose patience. Eating in front of the TV makes it much worse, so I have vowed not to do it anymore, but sometimes I just can't be bothered to sit at the dinner table for hours on end waiting for her to finish! She hates eating her veggies and then holds on to her poo for days because she thinks it will hurt, which it invariably does. Poor thing. I'll probably take her to the doctors about it this week, although she has been a little better the past few days. Sorry if that's all tmi for some people!

Pocket, good for you with the school hols! Hope the weather picks up for your first day of freedom! 

Love to all xx


----------



## louloumay

So today I made dauphinoise potatoes and tasted them to make sure they were seaseoned properly. Then I popped off to the garage to pay for the car's MOT, saw DP's brother there and then went to the shop for some milk. While I was out the inlaws brought LO home from her day out with them, and let themselves in. I got home and LO said 'what's that on your face mummy?'. It was cream from the potaoes. I went out with what actually looked like giz on my CHIN of all places  . I wonder what all those men I encountered thought I had been up to while DP was at work?  

Hope you all had a better day than me!!

xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hahaha!!! So funny Loulou!!!! X


----------



## louloumay

Yes Dp thought so too! I expect all those other blokes did as well . I'm never leaving the house again.


----------



## Katie4

Loulou, thank you so much for sharing, that is properly laugh out loud funny. 

I'll share one back.....while waiting for dh to make up his mind about ttc I was the temp police when it came to his nether regions as I repeatedly thought he was boiling them! So twice he actually put a thermometer down his pants to prove he wasn't! I'll be honest I was entirely shocked as usually he'd just argue or ignore me but it worked as the temp was always ok! Not quite as public as yours but still might elicit a chuckle?! 

Sorry I've been a bit absent, have vile work week- have to run an evening training session tomorrow over an hour from home and I'm petrified I'll be feeling really poorly and have my enormous night time belly. Sorry if I've mentioned it before but I'm dreading it. I will be resting for most of the day in anticipation of it but I just feel so exhausted and sick, especially at night. Last time I was doing this sort if thing all the time but it feels like a much bigger trauma now. 

sorry for  the me post. X


----------



## louloumay

Glad to give you girls a giggle.

What type of thermometer Katie? All sorts of strange images in my head   Good luck for the training session, I'm sure it will all come flooding back as soon as you get back in the saddle. Hope the ms holds off a bit for you  . Oh and 'me posts' is what we're all about isn't it? You know that!

All you other girls ok?


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning girls   

Hope you are suitably 'giz-free' today Loulou   

Hope your training session goes well tonight Katie    I am sure you'll be fine and once you get into it your mind will be taken off how nauseous you feel   

Ok here - now I am on summer hols    although LO is teething and he is a typical man and suffers terribly when he is cutting any toothipegs so lots of cuddles are necessary right now which is lovely for me    but the teary and ratty side of LO takes its toll by the end of the day - especially when DH is working late today and tomorrow   

I am feeling a little apprehensive/anxious/worried (the usual   ) about our appointment next week. I keep feeling the occasional throbbing in my left ovary and am fretting (probably/hopefully irrationally) that the cysts haven't gone or that the long haul of DRing has stopped me from ovulating properly/forever    The rational side of me is saying that I could just be getting ready to ovulate as I am almost half way through my cycle but that would be far too optimistic and positive for me to think that way   

Please give me a good talking to girls   

This miserable weather isn't helping   

PR xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hooray for your summer holidays PR. I know how much teachers countdown to these! (3 of my siblings are teachers.) As for worrying about your appointment - you're only human; it's a big deal and it's OK to worry. Saying that, don't let it eat you up - some things are beyond our control so just have to trust your body. Your DH normally has some wise words on these things doesn't he?!   

Katie - good luck for the training session. I bet you're brilliant at it. As for the evening sickness, hopefully the distraction will work. Hope you're getting lots of zzz's in today so you're well rested.

Loulou - you're hilarious!   
The food thing with LO sounds stressful - guess with all these things we just have to believe it's a phase. My strict week is kind of helping, well, it's making me feel better anyway. 

Aurelia - you OK hun?   

Afm, not much news other than Holly is insisting on wearing 'pants' today so guess we've started toilet training. Problem is we've never caught on on the potty or the toilet. She's not been on the potty about half an hour - weirdly she wanted to sit there whilst eating weetabix (chocolate flavour!) Any tips from anyone else most welcome!

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

How many types are there?! Lol. Just a regular one and on reflection he might have just held it in mid air rather than next to his bits but either way I can't really complain now can I?!

Am feeling ok so far today, even had a hot chocolate and a twix while waiting for my lift Earlier- I'm usually
A chocoholic but just not bothered about it while I'm in the 1st trimester. Big roast dinners, now that's a diff story! 

Be on later to moan about how it went! And to discuss at length the ins and out of our potty training to date! Lol (many a meal was consumed on the throne Chris!)


----------



## louloumay

Well Katie, there's the ones you stick in your ear, the ones you put in your mouth or under your armpit and the sticky strip ones for foreheads. That would be painful on a nut sack!  How did the training go?

Chris, that is exactly how I toilet trained LO, on the potty, in front of the tv with her breakfast/lunch/dinner on a little stool. Not all at once though . As for her eating habits now, since I got off her case about the veggies she's decided to eat grapes after her dinner so her 'poo will come out'. Bless.

Pocket, I shall give you a good talking to . I wont actually, it sounds like your rational side is doing a pretty good job itself. You just need to trust it. I agree with Chris, it's sooo normal to worry a bit, it _is_ a big deal. I'm sure you'll feel better once you've started 

Lyns, Aurelia 

xx


----------



## Katie4

Youre up late Lou. 

Just in bed, survived, back tomorrow for personals.,... The thought of a head strip thermom in rainbow colours down his pants made me laugh!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone 

How are you all today?

Katie - you survived last night then?  Hope you aren't feeling too sick this evening 

Loulou - How are you feeling re: tx now? A little more positive? 

Chris - How is the toilet training going?! Holly, I mean... obviously not you 

Aurelia - Are you ok? 

Lyns - How are things with you? I can't remember if you have started tx yet or not?

AFM, I am off to a hen weekend tomorrow night in Swansea  I am dreading it!! Not only the drive there, but getting drunk and going clubbing?!?!?!!  I just don't do that sort of thing anymore  The dress theme is BMF (British Military Fitness - the hen does this on a regular basis.. weirdo  ) so I have got to squeeze myself into a pair of army style shorts and a tight fitting t-shirt in preparation of shaking my **** on the dancefloor  GULP!  
TBH, it will probably do me the world of good as have been fretting about next week's appointment (yes, still  ) and getting myself all worked up about what might/might not happen. DH has been working 16-18 hour days so it's pretty much been me and F... which is of course lovely and a fantastic remedy  but to be fair, at 15 months he's not great at helping me rationalise 

Hope you are all ok xxxx


----------



## louloumay

I apologise now for the rant.

Why are men so sh*t at  acknowledging someones feeling without making a judgement or being defensive. I just wanted to tell him how I feel when he behaves in a certain way, I wasn't blaming or accusing. Just noticing a certain dynamic of how we communicate and sharing how I feel about it. He went absolutely mental. Threw a knife, YES A KNIFE, onto the work surface in the kitchen, broke a glass jar, went purple and then blamed his behaviour on me because of what I'd said. Surely a GROWN MAN can control his own bloody behaviour better than that no matter what someone says. T*sser. I'm so p*ssed off, I just had to write it down. 


x


----------



## louloumay

By the way if you try and post the word t*sser, it changes to 'person who tosses'! Thanks ff for making me laugh when actually I am very cross


----------



## chrisgib

Oh loulou   . 

Please feel reassured here that the problem here is that men just cannot do communication. Well, yours and mine can't anyway - I know there are a few rare breeds around who do better.  Does your clinic do counselling?  My DH found it really helpful to be told by a complete stranger that I respond to things differently to him - doh!

Hopefully this knife incident is not the norm for your DH, I assume he didn't try to throw it at you? I hope by now he's apologising to you and maybe at the end of this little tantrum of his you'll be able to have a proper conversation.

Bottom line here is that you are not responsible for his behaviour - if I hear an ounce of guilt on your part I will be coming round to put you straight.   

I've given up trying to communicate with my DH. We both hate confrontation so it's a bit rubbish. We're just like 2 parents living in the same house - no cross words, happy to talk about holly, but no reason/motivation to talk to each other. Sad really - hope it's just a phase! I do feel a tad guilty going in to tx when we're like this but can't face our arguments being the reason for not having no2.

Oh well - i've got a week away at the folks from tomorrow - you could come and join me!

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Thanks Chris (do you prefer Christine?). That really helped. Your relationship sounds uncannily like mine. Yes it was fairly out of character but not completely. I know there is a huge amount of repressed anger in there, not just at me but at his mum, and it does worry me that something that small could light his fuse like that. I suppose there are lots of other stressful things going on right now adding to the strain. And no, he didn't throw it _at_ me but LO was around and witnessed daddy being a tw*t and told him off 

I too feel weird about the tx with our relationship the way it is but haven't got time to sort it out before my eggs are a goner. I'd love him to go to counselling but he thinks it is all 'airyfairy psychology bullsh*t' . I've left 'Men are from Mars' open at a pertinate page on the bed and he said he'd read it so that's a step forward I suppose.

I'd love to take you up on your escape plan , but I think I'd better stay and sort it out!

Have a great time xx

Hope all you other girls are ok?


----------



## Katie4

I've had words with dh too today. Sorry everyone is having a crappy time and your  dh got so angry loulou. Don't worry about treatment and grumpy other halves- there is no perfect time to have a child, especially with a man!! I had to remind dh of the conversation we had the night we prob conceived this one- he'd wobbled 24 hrs before and said he wasn't ready(as u may recall) and I went bonkers and said what if I'm already pregnant!!! Then when he changed his mind (!) we had BMS and by dates that's when this one came along. So today I'm feeling rubbish and he's being awful so I had a go about how this was as much his decision as mine etc! Men!!

Pocket, I think the weekend sounds like an amazing release, if I didn't feel so poorly id be pining to be there although perhaps not in shorts. 

Aurelia, you ok sweetie? 

Right got to try and find something to eat which makes me feel better!


----------



## louloumay

Morning Ladies!

Hope you feel better today Katie. It's a pity men have to be involved in this baby making buisness at all isn't it?  

Are you back from your hen weekend Pocket? Hope you did have fun and forget about it all for a little while  

Chris, I know you're away but   anyway

Aurelia, Lyns


----------



## Katie4

How are you loulou? X 

Lyns....so did you sort out your prescription? 

I'm regretting eating a portion of lasagne about ten mins ago and yet debating some crisps?!


----------



## louloumay

Much better than I was this morning Katie, woke up with that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach after all that stress yesterday. We went to the local pond and had a go on a swan shaped pedalo, saw some butterflies at the nature museum and felt better after that!

Why regret the lasagne?, surely you've got a fab excuse for eating pretty much anything you like (excluding coal/tarmack/cleaning products etc obviously  )


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls   

How are you all today? Sorry to hear your DHs are being ar*eholes Loulou and Katie    My DH took F to his mother's whilst I was away over the weekend... he was shattered yesterday    It really made me laugh - I actually think he was looking forward to going to work today! His phrase to sum up 24 hours with our angel? 'Relentless.'    Men   

My weekend (or night) away was a good laugh - although driving to and from Swansea in 24hrs was pretty hardcore.. have seen enough of the M4 to last me a while! Really enjoyed spending time with the girls and having a giggle and chats - the clubbing and drinking side of things made me realise that I have passed that phase in my life though    I much prefer a meal with a few glasses of wine nowadays... not least an evening on Singstar    Nice to forget about everything for a bit though.. but the appointment on Friday and uncertainty re: tx etc was still at the back of my mind - you girls know how it is   

Got my mum up for a couple of days so hopefully that will help take my mind off any worries about Friday   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi Pocket, glad you had a bit of respite  . Did your dh think your LO was 'relentless' just for his benefit or that it's what you manage with no problem every day?  

Friday will soon be here and you can get on with it, sometimes I think the anticipation is worse than the actual tx, excluding the dreaded ttw of course  

Love to all xx


----------



## PocketRocket

You're right Lou - I'm feeling a little 'oh for Christ's sake, let's just get it done with and deal with it' today, which I guess is good!!   

I think LO was well behaved over the weekend - even by DH's admission - I think 'relentless' referred to what I deal with everyday   

Hope you are feeling cheerier my lovely


----------



## louloumay

I am thanks, I've gotten over the row. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything I have to sort out for the childminding registration now  , my friend who wanted me to mind her LO hasn't replied to a ** message I left her either so that's adding to my anxiety, especially as I have to pay out a fair amount to register. My own fault really for insisting I do it legally!

Oh well, lovely day, let's go and enjoy the summer holiday with our 'relentless' children!


----------



## lyns76

Hi ladies,

Hope you are all well, sorry to hear about some marital bust ups.....men are def from another planet at times, i am getting so uptight about my looking TX and hubby isnt one bit phased by it all, pi**es me off at times but i guess he copes with thing in his own stupid way   

Got my prescription in the fridge and after alot of searching around it was actualy cheaper from the hospital than anywhere els.
By my reconing and all being well should be starting the short protocol weekeng/early next week.
SOOOOOO BLOODY SCARED !!!!!!!!!

I hope you can forgive me but i am not sure at the minute if i will be posting or not, i so so appreciate all your support but i am not sure if i need to take my mind off things as best i can during the TWW.  Impossible i know but at the moment i am fretting about all the symptom watching etc and not sure if being on here over the next few weeks will make me worse or better, i hope you get where i am coming from!!!!! Sometimes it helps me to not think about what i am actually going through.

I have promised myself that if i ever win the lottery my priority is to give people like us a huge wad of cash each to help take all the stress away.  Isn't it bad that the biggest thing causing me worry is the thought of all this money being wasted   

Oh i am bloody moaning again....lots of people worse off than me, just gave myself a big slap round the face.

Note to self.....must stop feeling sorry for myself   

Love ya

Lyns
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi Lyns, you can feel sorry for yourself if you want to! Yeah of course there are people worse off but you're not living their lives are you?  

Totally understand your need to disappear from ff during your tx. Good luck hun!!  . Got my meds in the fridge too, prob start with the jabs in a couple of days  

Do come back and give us an update eventually though wont you?


----------



## lyns76

Louloumay i wont be disapearing promise, i really do need all your support, i just dont know at the minute how i am going to get by during the TWW (if all goes to plan) and i just know if i look on this site during it i will eather be moaning or asking people about symptoms !!

I am not feeling positive at all, truely wish i could.  I was even thinking about canceling it but i have purchased all my prescription now !!
Its not the treatment that bothers me at all, i would do it month after month if i could, just so worried about how i am going to cope if its bad news but i know that we will all be feeling the same...it really is PANTS   

Just waiting for my full bleed (spotting today) then gotta book a scan for day 2 then the jabs begin.

I will def be on here up to the TWW and then i will c how my heads feeling about it all.

Wish you all the best of luck to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Good luck LynS and Loulou and Pocket...and Chris? Sorry managed to lose my way with your decision on treatment this month. 

Being scared is OK you know? You care, you want this so much, there's a good chance you will get what you want but we all know what it is to be heart broken.

We are mums, we worry, it's our jobs. 

Love to you all x x x

PS just promise me one thing....? No apologies for any posts over the next 6 weeks. It doesn't matter if you come on and talk all about yourselves every hour of every day. We all understand.


----------



## louloumay

Completely off topic, have a made a huge hair salon faux pas?

My hairdresser is the salon owner and bloody expensive. So expensive I can't afford to go as often as I need to (I've got short hair), so I usually hack a bit off myself in between cuts  . Anyway, the salon sent me a 50% off text and it needed a tidy after my effort, so I thought I'd have it done. I wanted to do it today as LO was at her Nana's. My hairdresser has Wednesdays off apparently so I booked an appointment with one of the other stylists that cost half the price. He was very young and knew I was the owners client and was visibly nervous with shaky hands. Sounds dodgy I know, but I do like the cut (even though he f*cked it up a bit on one side, my hair is wavy so it doesn't show). So.......is that bad? Not to be loyal to my usual stylist and was the stylist I had nervous because the owner normally does it? He asked how long I had been his client and seemed a bit phased by it, poor boy. Can I ever go back there again or am I persona non grata now?  
To add insult to injury the last time I went in I told another client they could by a product much cheaper online not realising the salon had switched to that brand and were selling it themselves!   My hairdresser kept insisting the p & p would even the price out and I still didn't realise for ages I'd put my foot in it  

First jab today!  

Hope you are all well xx


----------



## Katie4

Complain loulou. They should put it right and any worth their cost will want to put it right. 

Don't worry about the shampoo thing, I'm always doing things like that and they make a big margin on shampoo so need to be competitive if they want your sale.

I've had to go back to both my last 2 hairdressers because of colouring issues and I even joke now that my current one knows I'm high maintenance but loyal!


----------



## louloumay

It's too short to be sorted out Katie, If he cuts anymore off I'll have none left!  . Not only that I hate going so much, I don't think I could bear another sitting.


----------



## Katie4

Oh love, really are you sure? Well what about a free do next time? Just call them and speak to your usual person. Honestly, they will be so desperate to sort it. Get them to come round to your house. 

Do know what you mean, even with mine I hold my breath when she does it.


----------



## louloumay

It's ok really Katie, you can't see it's wrong. It's only if I pull it out at 90 degrees to my head that it shows  . When it's flat it doesn't look odd  because of the texture. I actually like the style better than when his boss does it. I think he knew though because he had a real shaky hand moment after the cock up. I thought I would go to him again and say that I knew it went a bit wrong last time and to just chill out a bit more  . I'm a right complainer usually, but I think if I complain I'll end up feeling uncomfortable about going next time and I just can't be arsed to find another hairdresser. I find it so traumatic............I don't know why I am so weird about hairdressers   Hence the paranoia about switching stylists


----------



## Katie4

Erm not really paranoia though this time is it?! So long as you are Ok with it that's OK x


----------



## louloumay

No   you're right. I should go and complain..............................I wont though!


----------



## Katie4

I think there is a massive amount of trust put in a hairdresser...and an obstetrician!


----------



## louloumay

That's for sure! 

You know what, I've changed my mind, it's more uneven than I first thought and although it doesn't really show (much  ), I know now and it will forever p*ss me off until I do it myself and ruin it. I can see on their online booking system when matey has a free appointment for next Wednesday when the boss isn't in, so I'll rock up, make him sort it and then he can fess up to the boss himself (or not) and I don't have to feel bad about dropping him in the sh*t and can still go back for my next disastrous hair cut. Sorted


----------



## Katie4

Sounds like a plan!!


----------



## PocketRocket

That whole conversation has just made me laugh!!    Anyone reading the last part of this thread must be thinking 'Upset, desperate and panicky?? An entire thread dedicated to a haircut?!'       Go and get it sorted Loulou... us girls pay a fortune for our hair so we might as well make sure we get our money's worth    I once called up a hairdresser's after I got home and told them that I wasn't happy with the cut - I was reprimanded by THEM because I soould have told them there and then apparently! So be prepared for that argument just in case    I was far too young and naive to fight my corner then... nowadays that would be totally different   

How was your jab then Loulou? First DRing one?

Katie - How are you feeling?   

Aurelia - Are you still there?!   

Lyns - We are all here whenever you need us over the next few weeks... totally understand you wanting to stay away!! I felt the same when I fell pregnant ironically - wanted to just forget about 'whys wheres and hows' of getting to that stage and just wanted to enjoy my miracle bump!!   

Chris - Hope you are enjoying your week away   

Appointment tomorrow... gulp    Feeling anxious, but kind of determined at the moment.. hoping it stays that way   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Go pocket! Go pocket! Your cheerleaders are here ready and waiting! Seriously though, hope it goes well. What time is it and are you taking your LO? 

Lyns- with the current topic of conversation you can be sure to be distracted from treatment ;-) 

Aurelia, how are you? 

Loulou, so how was it injecting again? I'm so in awe of you all getting on with it so well. You should be proud of yourselves - seriously it's amazing. Knowing how to prep it properly,then the correct injection technique. For doing that alone you all deserve awards. 

Chris, how's potty training? I can thoroughly recommend the travel poette plus- it's a loo seat and a travel potty in one, fits into a big handbag and you just put a plastic bag with a tissue under it when using it as a potty. It's about £13 from boots or online. Don't waste money on the bags they sell, a carrier and kitchen roll will do. 

Right, off to clean the kitchen, and then to bed to watch the bizarre obem USA! It's like road traffic telly!


----------



## Katie4

Should say Potette plus x


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks Katie    It is at 9.15am and one of my friends is taking F. We have taken him before which has been a wonderful distraction but I figured that if it is bad news then we'd both want to ask questions and would need to listen carefully (we obviously couldn't do that while he was on the loose!) yet if it is good news then I don't really want him causing havoc while I am being injected!!   

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh nice and early, good, you will be in before you know it. So scan and blood test tomorrow?


----------



## PocketRocket

Well to be honest, I don't really know?!! I know that I am having a scan for sure.. obviously to see if the cysts have gone.. and the logic I suppose would be to have a blood test to check that anything that IS there are follies, not cysts... but no one has mentioned that to me?!! It was one of my questions ready prepared - so I guess it will be a surprise??!! The nurse I spoke to on the phone when I booked my scan wasn't one who was familar with my 'issue' so she was just reading from my notes. I asked if I was to have a scan and then if all was well, the Prostap injection - and she replied 'It looks that way..' but sounded quite unsure?!


----------



## Katie4

I suppose you will have to wait and see then. Not Easy i know. I'm sure it will all become clear in the morning. Let us know how you get on sweetie x


----------



## louloumay

Oh good luck Pocket! (just had a Torchwood break)  Will you be down regging again? I suppose you will, I wonder if they will change your protocol? God I hope it's a short down reg for you this time, your last one was bloody ridiculously long wasn't it. Fingers crossed no nasty cysts      What is Prostap? Is it a slow release down reg injection? I think I may have had that before. I'm babbling...............

My injections (all two of them) have been fine. I've had to wing it a bit as I haven't got an instruction booklet and haven't had a nursey demo. I've injected so many different ivf drugs I'm a bit 'what the hell, how wrong can it go?' about it really   It's never gonna bloody work anyway  

I've got a Potette Katie! Bloomin' marvellous thing. LO still uses it when we go camping, although her bum is getting a bit big for it now though!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Just a quickie to let you know that I got the all clear this morning :0) Cysts have gone, got a broken down follicle which indicates that I've ovulated... Had the Prostap injection (yes you're right Loulou - it's the stronger slow release DR drug so no injecting everyday - yippee!!) and so we're back on that roller coaster again..!! But feeling SO much more ready for it than I did a few months back.

Hope you're all having a good day.

A cyst-free and Prostapped-up Pocket ;0) xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Brilliant news Pocket!  

xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Gosh that is brilliant. Well done you. 

Dare I ask when you'll start stimming?


----------



## PocketRocket

Who knows for sure?! I tell you something, I shall be so chuffed if we get that far    I have got to call them when AF arrives and make an appointment for another scan. If my system has shut down properly and my lining is thin enough, then I guess I can start then?!    AF is usually a little late when I am DRing so maybe not for another couple of weeks.

You guys all ok?


----------



## louloumay

I'm really excited for you Pocket!  

I'm fine thanks   

Going a bit mad getting ready for ofsted though. So much to do, don't know where to start. DP's not much help. I asked him to clear the garden up, it just needed a tidy, so he went and borrowed his dad's jet wash and spent all day playing with that. By the time he'd finished cleaning the bloody concrete he couldn't be arsed to tidy it. I ask you, who cleans concrete?   Plonker.

I'll cut the grass myself then................


----------



## louloumay

My mil just emailed me this...............




Man,

Man is a woman's best friend.

He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires.

He will make sure she always feels that she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, s*xy, seductive, and invincible.











No wait...... Sorry....... I'm thinking of wine.

It's wine that does all that.

Sorry.


----------



## louloumay

Ok, my sister has gone in to be induced and is having regular contractions, her first pg ended in c section, as did mine. In my evil twisted brain I'm struggling with the fact she might have a natural birth. Then she'll have two up on me wont she. Number 2 and no c section. 

How narcissistic is that? What is wrong with me. When did I become such a b*itch?

Why would I even think that, given the risk of cs?  

Bloody hell...............


----------



## chrisgib

But Poette would be so much more apt!  I've bought one, but still no success - but will try properly this week I think, so long as it's sunny.

I'm back - from a long and exhausting week with my folks. Silly thing is that because the whole family were there, I don't actually feel like I saw my mum and dad much, so will have to go back up I think. Saying that, if I start treatment this month, I'll be starting in about 2 weeks time as AF kindly arrived while I was in Harrogate. I had to spend a lot of time with my niece who is 3 months pregnant with her 2nd (she's 10 yrs younger than me, and her daughter is 6 months younger than Holly!). She's really kind about my whole thing, and tries really hard not to talk about it - but then I just get upset that people are feeling sorry for me. I was blubbing like a baby after mum whispered in my ear to phone her when I knew tx would be starting as they're happy to help pay. Apart from that whisper, the whole week has been typical small talk. 
Guess I should get my act in to gear - would be great if we all got BFP's together.   

Loved the haircut discussion - so refreshing to talk about stuff other than TTC. 

Loulou - hope your sister is OK, and the baby of course - but I'm entirely with you on the birthstory envy, as well as bump envy; never mind the actual baby envy!!  None of it really makes sense. Love the man/wine thing by the way - so true.

Katie - how are you feeling?  Just because I'm moaning about my niece doesn't mean I don't what to know about you! You've earnt it!

Pocket - great news on the scan. Hope it all goes smoothly for you this time.

 to everyone else.

It's good to be back!

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Good to have you back Chris  , 

It must have been hard with your niece, I'm not sure how much trying not to talk about it helps. I know people do it for the best though. I would totally have blubbed at the 'whisper' too. Great you are starting in a couple of weeks though!  .

Thanks for the empathy, I feel a bit schizophrenic today. So many conflicting feelings................ let's talk about hair  . I abandoned my 'rock up and get it sorted' plan for a 'just make a bloody appointment for goodness sake, what do I care if I drop him in the sh*t' plan. So I've booked myself in for tomorrow.  . I'll let you know how it goes! 

Hope everyone else is ok.

Love xxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Loulou - You aren't evil and twisted    You are simply going through the emotions of someone who has to deal with infertility... we're with ya, girlfriend    ... you certainly are not alone   

Chris - welcome back    Great to hear that you will be starting tx in a couple of weeks... we'll all be doing this together    It makes me feel all warm and squidgy inside    We need to follow Katie's lead and get some more BFPs on this thread   

Katie - Hope you and Bump are good   

Spent today with my friends... one who has a 5 month old and the other who is 25 weeks pg... felt really ok about it. Still feeling the relief from yesterday I guess but just kept looking and feeling her bump thinking 'I'm gonna get me one of those really soon!'            

Lot of Love and FF hugs xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Hiya!!

Chris, what a lovely mum you have and I think you can't help but be touched when someone tries to consider your feelings, even if they don't get it quite right. Sounds like you deserve a pat on the back though for such a busy week. 

Loulou, omg I totally understand your comments about your sister, I know if I end up
With a planned section this time I'll feel like I've failed?! How ridiculous is that?! I blame NCT classes. My sid had a v similiar birth to mine first time (but had an epi and avoided forceps thanks to a terrific midwife, I had no epi, and ended up in theatre with a spinal and forceps.. It took me over 2 years to discuss it with my sister. I suppose there's always an element of competition and she doesn't know about our fert issues so cpuldnt understand my comments about my plan of giving us a year to ttc and then stopping if it didn't work. Tbh I think she's struggling with me being pg as she's already talking about their third...whatever!!)

An appointment on a Sunday? How continental! Lol hope it goes well. 

Pocket, you did well today sweetie. Pat on the back x  

Afm, we cancelled our plans to travel to a BBQ two hours away and was the right thing and instead went to next for new wellies for ng and ended up also getting her the prettiest red party shoes! Managed a nice sleep at 2.30 too! And then weeded the garden - was a bit hot though! Chris not so much bump as big ass! I foolishly got on the scales tonight...ah well what do you expect when eating is the only thing that stops you feeling sick?! Have already put most of my Normal clothes away and started with my next size up bras. 

This week I'm telling my boss on thur- gulp dreading it, with ng she was verbally discriminatory towards me. Only that once but it wasn't pleasant. 

Hey ho, got our Doppler out last night and managed to find the heartbeat, I know how lucky I am girls and I am sending as much as I can to the four of you and of course to
Aurelia when the time comes. 

K x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hello lovely ladies, long time no chat. I hope you remember me 

I'm sorry i abanded you all, life just got a bit too much. Can i come back and play? 

not quite sure where everyone's at but here goes..

katie congratulations on your pregnancy, fab news 

pocket im sorry your cycle was abanded, great that your starting again. wishing you all the luck in the world
x

chrisgib so very sorry to read that you had an etopic  wishing you every sucess for your upcoming cycle also x

Lou lou I completly sympathise honey, this infertility business is so fricking hard! are you cycling again soon? x

lyns hope this cycle is the one, goodluck x
  
hello aurelia 

really hope i got that right 

afm- things have been up and down, have a nosey at the signature lol, feeling good at the moment though and glad to be back!

oh, hows all the mini-me's? enjoying the sunshine i hope  xx


----------



## louloumay

Hi Dannii! Great to hear from you again!  

Blimey you did well getting  so many frosties! Sorry you have to have your tubes removed  . It's not great but I had mine out before starting IVF and had my LO, it can reduce your risk of ectopic   Well done on the catch up! I think you pretty much got it bang on . Must have taken you ages to read all that. I started down regging 5 days ago.

Hope everyone else is well this morning. My sis had a whopping 9lb 10 oz baby boy last night. Forceps I think.


----------



## Katie4

Congratualtions to your sister. Am assuming having heard the weight you now don't care if she says she coughed and he came out as a baby that size has to have been hard work! 

Danni, so sorry you have been thru such a tough time. Hope you can spend the next 6 months treating yourself to things you can't do once ttc/pregnant and also getting yourself ready for 2012. I bought an ipl laser hair remover to distract me last summer (worked a treat if any of you are fair skinned and dark haired!) and then had microdermabrasion sessions earlier in the year. Not to mention regular glasses of wine ;-) 

Terrific catch up post though, you must have made notes! 

Welcome back. X


----------



## louloumay

Hi again girls, I've come for a bit of a moan...........I'm sorry I've done a lot of that lately. I'm having a really bad day. I thought I'd feel better when the baby was born and I don't. I've seen a million babybumps too. I found out a girl I know died of a brain tumor (I knew she had it but it's still a bit of a shock that she's gone, she was in her mid thirtys) and I know it seems insignificant compared to that but my ear is blocked. I'm almost totally deaf on one side with ringing in my ear and it's the last straw. I'm grumpy with LO, I've apologised to her 10 times and explained it's not her fault but it's still not nice. DP is driving me mental. He doesn't have an empathic bone in his body. He just keeps telling me how my 'mood' is affecting him, like I don't know that. Could the buserelin be making me so miserable? I've only had the nose spray once before and I can't remember if it did this to me or not.

Help.............


----------



## lyns76

HI girls,

Loulou may, i get grumpy with little one and hubby too at times, we cant help it darling, its just very tough what we are going through.
Like the saying goes, you always take it out on people closest to you but we love them all the same......dont forget, our little ones take it out on us when they are having a bad day   .......when i say i take it out on little man i only mean being grumpy, would hate you to think i am a bad mummy !!!

I am on day two of stimming today and so far its not been too bad, bit weepy but cus i am on the short protocol i am also only on day 3 of period so not sure if its just pmt or if its the drugs.
Had scan yesterday and all looked well, a good amount of eggs on each ovary so just need the drugs to get them to grow and make them mature.....just wondering how many i will produce this time now i am 4 years older than the last fresh cycle.
Next scan on Wed so i am hoping all will continue as planned.
Cant believe i am actually jabbing again.... never in a million years did i expect to put myself through all this again when i got my BFP 4 years ago!!!!.......how nieve was I back then ha ha.

Hope everyone is well,

Love Lyns xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening, 

Loulou, the drugs won't help that's for sure but as lyn said, we all have tough days and your LO will forget soon enough, after all, it's not every day. You have so much on your plate, the ofsted inspection thing is a huge pressure, your sisters had a baby, you've just started treatment, you would not be normal if you didn't feel some of the strain. 
As for dh, tricky, he's a man, you speak diff languages. Today I snapped at ng because she was shouting "daddy" repeatedly. Why? Because I was shouting at him so she was copying me. I felt so guilty. But it does happen sometimes. 

Lyns, I imagine it is all a bit surreal but just live in the moment and take each injection and scan as they come. It has been a few years but you responded last time and your body knows what to do in terms of a pregnancy so try to keep optimistic if you can

Chris, aurelia, danni and pocket - hi x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Sorry - this will all be me me me.

I finally have some progress here, I braved phoning the clinic and am now all lined up to start tx this month. I was convinced they were going to make we wait until next month. I'm on the long protocol again, so start drugs on the 14th August, with a view to starting stimming on the 31st August and first scan on 7th September. So suddenly it's all starting to feel very real, and a bit scary.  

I feel in quite a good place for it though. The diet is going well, still a long way to go, but hopefully I'll stay motivated so could be a stone lighter by the time stimming starts. I'm now wondering whether to bother with acupuncture again or not. I've done it every time so far and I do like it, but it does add to the cost. Also, my normal therapist isn't available this time as he's on sabbatical so I'd have to start with someone new. Are any of you having acupuncture?

One of my clinic FF buddies, who's about the same age as me has just got her BFP - so there is hope.

Sorry - must dash - Holly's got paint everywhere and is now asking to paint her toes!

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hello everyone   

Chris - great news about tx! As scary as it is at the time    Sounds like you are feeling quite positive.. keep it up girly    I am having acupuncture and have had it regularly since starting to conceive back in 2008 - I agree with the cost issue!! I dread to think how much I must have spent    But having had a cycle that worked with it - I couldn't not have it again    I kind of justify the cost by thinking that if I have a cycle with it and that one works.. well, that's be cheaper than having several negative cycles without it - if you see what I mean!?!?!? I didn't explain that properly but I am hoping you will somehow understand what I'm waffling on about   

Lyns - Sounds like you are well and truly on the road to tx    How are you feeling with it? Less teary than when you last posted?

Loulou - Hope you are feeling a little happier    You sounded very fed up in your last post...    If it's any consolation, I think the buserelin probably is contributing to your moods.. mood swings are part of the side effects and besides, I think we sometimes forget the stress and emotions that come with this all - we are all very good at 'getting on with it'    Be compassionate to yourself lovely   

Katie - How are you and Bump doing?! How many weeks are you now? I presume you'll be waiting until you have had the 12 week scan before you think about telling everyone? That's when it will really seem real   

AFM, had a busy couple of days... it was our three year wedding anniversary on Monday and DH had organised for us to stay in a local 5 star hotel for the night.. he had booked me a spa treatment and a table for dinner    Bless him. We had a lovely night away (although I'd be lying if I said that I didn't miss my little man   ) but knowing that we were only 10 minutes drive away put my mind at rest. MIL had him for the first time overnight which I was a bit nervous about but she did ok   
Still waiting for AF to arrive... although TBH, with my normal cycle it would be due tomorrow, but usually with DRing I tend to be later so we'll see what happens. I had another weird bleed like last time yesterday (sorry if TMI, but the 'end of a period' type blood) so I'm not sure if that's a sign of something coming or just my body adjusting to another lot of hormones    

The things we do, hey girls?!   

It's so great to have all of you guys here to 'talk' to, BTW.. I sometimes think I would go insane if I didn't have you girls to witter away to   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Chris, that is great news and huge congrats on the weight loss, a stone in a month is impressive, you must have immense self control. It will be worth it though, I know someone on another thread who set her mind to losing weight and she's convinced that helped her cycle (and she's another recent BFP). Did you get to Holly before the paint reached her toes?

Pocket, at least you are prepared for it to be a little late. Let's hope it arrives in the next few days. 

Loulou, how are the injections going?

Lyns, thinking of you sweetie, even if you are keeping yourself occupied with other things

AFM, well told my boss today as scan is a week today. She was not surprised as apparently there is a photo of me from her husband's birthday party (when I was 6 weeks) which clearly shows I'm pregnant and everyone who has seen it has said so. I'd not seen it till today....it looks like I've got a 5-7 month size bump. But I hadn't (of course!!) I was wearing a maxi dress with a big belt at the empire line and the extra length looped round in front of my tummy so on a profile shot from a distance I'm look v pregnant. I'm pretty p*d off as everyones been talking and not one of them thought, well surely we would have noticed a bump like that. FFS. DH is like, what does it matter? At least she had some warning and was nice to you about it (nice is a generous word, hardly gushing! Wait till she realises I'm entitled to childcare vouchers while I'm off and the company has to pay!) And she thought I'd be telling everyone today err no, scan next week, results some point after that, def not telling anyone till then. 


Sorry just don't like having to share the news with her before others but I want the paid time off for the hospital appointment which will take at least 4 hours.... ;-)


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls,

Hope you are all ok.

Bit down again   

Cant believe how much my fertility has declined in 4 years.

I had always produced around 12 or 13 eggs but this time i have only got 6 follies and because two of them are the large size i have to go in for egg collection on Tuesday !!!

Felt a bit upset yesterday, especially as the nurse didnt wanna seem to give me much information.

Do you girls think 6 follies is a fair response for a 35 year old or do you think they should have suggested cancelling this cycle ?

Only two follies are the larger size at the mo but just preying to god that the others will catch up between now and Tuesday.

At least it has confirmed in my head that i wont have further IVF if this doesnt work.

Lyns xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh lyn, i know you can't helP but comPare but try not to. 6 is lots, and surely some ladies go ahead with less? And, the others should grow - you've got another three days nurturing them. A friend on another board had a similar number, went to embryo, then lost all but two going to 1 blast and 1 morula. She's just found out it's twins! So as much as we try to predict based on numbers and grades there is lots out of your hands so try, if you can, to not worry too much, (far easier said than done I know!) 

Seriously, if the clinic thought there was no point in carrying on they would say. As it is, you've go two very lovely eggs ready and waiting. 

Sending you huge hugs and hoping v much for a lovely outcome for you x


----------



## louloumay

Lyns, Katie's right. I had LO at 37 with 5 eggs. Don't give up hope  . Good luck for tuesday, be thinking of you


----------



## PocketRocket

Lyns - ditto Katie and Loulou!   

It only takes one, remember   

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hope everyone else is ok. Been a bit absent for the past few days. Back later for personals xxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Ng has had a vom bug for last 36 hrs....hopefully going now but I'm feeling so sick, think it's just tiredness. 

Am prob the only person grateful for the lousy weather!! 

Am still raging about the speculation at work, dh doesn't get it but it feels like such an intrusion, especially as a guy I work with has just announced his partner is pg with their 2nd, due two weeks before me, and in an email reply to
Mine which simply congratulated him, he actually said he'd "perhaps"'just pipped me to the post on being the next preg announcement! Tactless [email protected]!!! He knows nothing about me and hasn't even laid eyes on me for 2-3 months sO knows nothing..it's all based on this f-ing photo which shows nothing other than a belt loop in fRont of my tum!!! Im a good half a stone heavier than normal already but have no obvious bump until late afternoon so am v tempted to go into work  in a fitted black number when im next in and say nothing....let them speculate some more! They are all so short sighted and tactless. I remember even a good friend at work telling me not to leave it too ling when we were trying. Do they all live in a fertile bubble??!!

Rant ended for now but can't Promise it won't come up again! Any suggestions on how to handle it appreciated!!!


----------



## Katie4

Loulou, did the guy do your hair again? And are you happy now?


----------



## louloumay

I've no idea how to handle it Katie, except to rant and rage about it until you don't care anymore!  . People are bloody tactless. We all know they don't mean to upset anyone and that people don't think before opening their great big cakeholes but it's still a pisser. I think let them speculate, you wont care when you've got your new LO in your arms. Sod 'em. If you've never found it hard to conceive it isn't even on your radar that someone else might, and as much as sometimes we may want to shout from the roof tops 'I have bloody fertility issues you smug w*nkers' we don't, so they don't know.

Hair's ok thanks, he got a bit carried away and hacked off a bit of my fringe. I give up, I think I'll just do it myself next time. It looked nice before I went and now I look like a boy


----------



## PocketRocket

Loulou - I think boys are great    so keep the haircut   

Katie - re: your work situation... I had exactly the same thing at work. It is so frustrating - I really understand where you are coming from. And despite friends/my mum's advice of 'rise above it' - it's so hard when all you want to do is lamp them one for being so frigging insensitive - and fertile!!    (as you can tell, it still winds me up even to this day...   )
There were three of us pg at work at the same time one of them being my friend/boss who also had IVF - I've mentioned her before). The other was ironically the girl who I am doing a job share with in September... she is the epitome of everything I dislike in a person    - to put it harshly!! Anyway, she took it upon herself to pry and nose and interfere, to the point where she even asked me outright a week after our OTD! She even asked my boss (who obviously knew my situation) under the pretext that she 'cared' and was 'worried' about me      I was holding out for our 12 week scan before I told everyone but the whole gossip and nosing really spoiled it for me - something which I will resent for ever.. if that doesn't sound too dramatic. I am hoping that the whole karma thing is true...    
Anyway, I kind of made my point when I wrote our news on the staff noticeboard: 'To those of you who haven't already guessed/tried your best to find out, we are expecting... etc etc.' She took the hint and came to ask if she had upset me... I said 'yes' and amongst other things said that me and DH hadn't had an easy journey to get where we are - she said that her and her DH hadn't either - needless to say I really had to bite my tongue at that point!!!!        I don't know what she meant by that, but I know she hadn't gone thru the journey that we had. For one, she is not a strong enough person to go thru the IF journey. So, if anything else, try and focus on that. As unfair as I feel life is sometimes, I just try to think that we are better people because of this and it is those small minded pr*cks that are much less of a person that you are, my sweets   

Sorry about that girls - you caught me on a rant!!!! I hope my waffle did help in some way though Katie - I really do know how you feel   

Lots of Love and Hugs to the people who understand       

xxxxxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Yeah f*ck*ng w*nk*rs!  

Sorry, had the urge to join in with some more name calling and vowel free swearing!


----------



## PocketRocket




----------



## lyns76

Ha ha isnt it just great to let it all out at times.

My language has gradualy got worse and worse over the past few years, must be all the anger we have inside us !

I can remember being really pi**ed off with one of my work colleagues when i was going through my first lot of IVF.  First she kept saying that it was perhaps something we were doing wrong that was stopping us from conceiving and then she even laughed one day and said what a waste of time it was being on the pill for so many years before i met my hubby because i would have never got pregnant any way !!!  I had always chose not to tell people that it was my hubby with low count/motility as i had always considered it OUR problem not HIS problem but in that instance i really felt like saying Fu*k off you silly little girl you know nothing.  That was the only person that i wished could have gone through what i did just to know how utterly heartbreaking it is, but guess what .....she was lucky enough to conceive on her honeymoon.
No one will ever get it the way we do cus even if they care they really still dont understand.

Whatever the outcome is this time i really dont think i will be going through it again.
Hubby is having a few days off with me next week cus its also our 10th wedding anniversary on Thursday so we are just gonna try and have a nice chill out.  Just hope i get to make it to transfer   

Love to you all,

Lyns


----------



## Katie4

Oh thank you so much. I know if I go with my instinct I will regret it because they are all such gossips and quite a gang of them so it will come back to bite me and probably have no effect on them
but I think I might make a sly/sarcastic comment about this f-ing photo as they clearly can't see for looking- my boss included! 

Last time I told a couple of closer work friends and then put it on our intranet notice board - this time I'll just tell two I think and leave it with them to tell. That way it's done and I can avoid direct conversation with the idiots as much as possible. Humph. 

Ooh can I have your opinion please- scan on thur, two closest friends over for tea thur pm. Am hoping to tell them, even though won't have bloods back, provided nuchal fold is nice and thin, but I know one is ttc and i suspect a little stressed by it all from the odd comment about her husbands family being super fertile. Anyhow, do I text them to break the news so she has time to gather her thoughts? I don't want to make it obvious I'm doing it because of her and worried it will look odd doing it by text 2 hrs before i see them but also don't want to do the awful "I'm pregnant!" announcement and tread on her toes/emotions.


----------



## louloumay

See! It's not that hard to consider other peoples feelings is it? Good for you Katie.  

I think a text telling her is a good idea, perhaps you could say what you've said to us? That you didn't want to spring it on her in front of someone else cos you know how it feels when someone is pg and you want to be yourself?


----------



## louloumay

Oh forgot........have a lovely anniversary Lyns!


----------



## Tillypops

Apologies for butting in ladies, but I wondered if any of you would be interested in an evening in the chat room.  We can set aside a private room for you (with a password) so that you can have a good old natter between yourselves?

Let me know if you are and I will sort something out.

Tilly
xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

I'm up for it if the other girls are?   

Thanks Tillypops   

Pocket x


----------



## louloumay

Is that a nice way of asking us to reign it in Tilly?


----------



## Tillypops

No not at all. I just thought that you might enjoy it! Believe me, if you needed to rein it in, I'd be a lot less subtle!


----------



## louloumay

Phew!  

Sounds fun, not sure how chat rooms work though. Never used one before.

Hope everyone is ok?  

Got first scan at 6, be back later with good news  ..............or bad news  

xx


----------



## Katie4

Sounds good to me although coordinating our calendars may be the tricky? 

How does it work? is it a bit like group instant messenger?

Good luck loulou!!!! Can't wait to hear x x


----------



## PocketRocket

I have popped into the chat rooms before and it was exactly like an IM thing. Agreed on the calendar thing though.. but I am sure we can try and work something out.

Good luck for the scan Loulou    Let us know how you get on.

AFM, think AF is on its way...   

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

You'll all get struck off if you're not careful!!

Afraid I'm not sure what to suggest to help, just reassure yourself that you'll be a far better parent than any of these fertile weirdo's.

I told people at work so had loads of support - a very different experience. It's different with No2 though, not sure I would be telling people again, it was naivity (sp?) I think. Also - haven't got a job any more!!

Good luck with the scan Loulou.

My drugs arrive in the morning - aaagh!

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Hi girlies,

Just a quick update from me. Had the scan, got some small cysts (sound familiar Pocket?), never had them before but the consultant said it's fairly common with buserelin jabs. Anyway, got another scan sat and if they're still there he said he'd give me an ovitrelle jab to 'release' them, and then probably carry on with the cycle looking at EC around the 30th. I always though cysts meant a cancelled tx so I am a little confused. Well that's my news.....................

Chris   so soon! omg!    
Katie, has your ms settled down yet?  
Lyns, EC tomorrow isn't it? Blimey! Good luck hun    
Pocket, how are you hun?  
Danni?


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hiyas 

oh girls exciting times ahead for you all, cant wait for all the bfp's 

just a quick one from me tonite and i've had a few vinos on your behalfs (tehehe)

had my pre op assesment this morning (gulp) surgery should be around november time, if anyone cancels in the meantime i said i would be willing to take their slot. my thinking is that the sooner the op the sooner my snow-babies come home! 
the screen is going blury so its bed time for me, hangover alert lol 
will catch up tomorrow x


----------



## lyns76

Hi girls,

Just letting you know how i got on -

10 eggs collected, 6 survived being injected and 4 have fertilised so all being well embreo transfer is at 12 tomorrow, its our 10th wedding anniversary so hope it brings us good luck.

Not too sore today but was in agony after egg retrieval yesterday !!! 

Just preying now that our littles embs continue to grow.

Hope everyone is well and i will catch up soon, just going for a sneaky nap while H has fell asleep !!

Lyns xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Well done Lyns - that's great. How many will you have put back?  Take it easy now. Hope you've got lots lined up for the 2ww.

Dannii - how was the hangover? Make the most of the next few months pre surgery, it's not too long to wait, but if you're like me you'll think it feels like forever. Hopefully you'll get a nice cancellation.

Hi to everyone else.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Hi!!!

Go danni! At least you weren't sobbing like I was on my last drunken post (a new niece, two preg announcements, a resistant dh and no stamina! I was v drunk and emotional once I got on here....that was the end if April!)

Lyns, so sorry for not wishing you luck hun, been trapped with peppa and a v poorly ng. Terrific results, will they go to blast? Sorry you were so sore after ec. It's brilliant news though. Hope you are a little more optimistic now x 

Loulou, Chris and pocket - what's the latest for your treatments? 

Sorry just such an exhausted living in a bubble mum here, didn't even know about the riots till I read it on here. Not left the house other than midnight run tO emergency gp on sun/mon! Ng def turned a corner now. Phew! 

(my scan is tomorrow.....)


----------



## chrisgib

Good luck for tomorrow Katie. I look forward to hearing all about it. 

My drugs arrived yesterday, and the invoice arrived today - hate that bit. It's extortionate. Of course it lead DH to state that this is the last time, as we can't afford any more. I hate these statements, no discussion or anything.   I reminded him how he'd told the consultant and the counsellor that finance wasn't a worry for us due to a recent inheritance and that really it's just about choices. I'm not saying that this isn't our last time, and yes I agree we've probably spent enough - but I want this to be a joint decision, and not one that has me resenting his £30k car sitting on the drive!!!  Sorry - rant over - I'm sure you get the jist. We're lucky to have the choice I know.

Sorry - better go, no privacy here at the mo!

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi everyone,

Dannii, hope your hangover is gone   November will be here in no time, and your snow babies will be all snuggled in!  
Lyns, 4 fertilised is brilliant! Well done  , good luck for tmrw hun  
Katie, I didn't realise Ng had been so poorly, you poor things  . It's so awful when our little ones are unwell. How come you had to go to the emergency GP? You must have been so worried to have to do that  . Hope your scan goes well  
Chris, I totally get why you'd feel so p*ssed off with that comment.  Dp has a habit of making statements like that too, I don't think they are ever as emotionally invested in this process as we are and don't realise how hurtful saying things like that can be   (sorry for the generalisation, I'm sure there are exceptions  )
Pocket, how are you? Af arrived?

AFM, still a bit unsure how to feel about the cysts. Got very sore (.)(.) and am practically drowning in cm (sorry tmi ) so am clearly full of estrogen, I've reduced my dhea dose by 2 thirds in case that is the problem. I'll kick myself if I find out it is  

Oh well too late now..............


----------



## Katie4

Chris the boys are like that, ignore him. Who knows what any of us will do in the future. Dh thought he'd never agree to another and he had me convinced too...! 

Loulou, I'm sure the cysts will not be a problem, remember me and my polycystic ovaries- 16+ per ovary. Think prob a slight reduction in dhea might help with the cm but I'd see it as a positive sign  

Ng got a temp thur night/ fri am which was pretty constant then nausea Friday day, then puked all Friday night, and we couldn't keep her temp down and it got to the point on sun night where she was asking for medicine at 11pm and I couldn't give her any because I'd reached the max till midnight of both calpol and nurofen! so I called the out of hours service and they called her in. Her urine output was v v low too but fortunately I managed to get her to do a wee before we left and the dr checked her over and started the "it's viral"
Speech (dh and I had already agreed we would not leave without antibiotics as we both knew this wasn't just a fecking virus) and then he tested her urine and it was positive for protein and blood - an infection!!! What if I'd not taken a sample? Makes me feel sick, she could have had kidney damage within 24 hrs. We got a dose in her there and then along with some calpol as it was after midnight  and she managed to go 7 hrs without spiking another temp. It's taken another 2 days for the high temps to stop and god love her, she has the worst cold ever now but today she's been much much brighter, has actually eaten and had a 2.5 hr sleep this afternoon and a restful sleep so far tonight so I think we've made it through. But yes, it was terrifying. 

As for tomorrow, I feel like I'm sitting an exam I've not prepared for. I almost forgot I needed my notes! Just praying for everything to be ok. Should be seeing my consultant, wonder if they will put me to see her straightaway or if I will be with a reg or sho....? I do find the whole clinic process stressful, it's a nosey thing, I find it frustrating to not know the full process flow! Lol

Anyone heard from aurelia? 

Night night my lovelies x


----------



## louloumay

God Katie, it makes me feel sick and tearful just reading about ng being so poorly and she's not even mine! (imagine what I'm like when it's my LO  ). How did you know it was an infection? Was it a urine infection then? I would probably have believed the standard 'it's a virus' diagnosis, thank goodness you didn't and took a sample. LO had a couple of wee infections when she was about 2ish so I usually take a sample too (just in case) but I don't remember her being that ill with it. 

I'm sure your scan will be fine tomorrow no matter who you get  , so stop being a control freak and get on with it  



Aurelia hasn't posted for a while now. Hope she's ok.

xx


----------



## Katie4

Control freak- moi?! Pot and kettle loulou! Lol!


----------



## Katie4

Good luck lyns!! X x


----------



## louloumay

I have no idea what you mean Katie  

Have you had your scan yet?

Lyns, how did it go?


----------



## Katie4

Hi!! V long appointment at the hosp but one lovely wriggly baby on board. Nuchal fold nice and thin. Had bloods, so have to wait for the results as I found out today you can have a low risk based on the nuchal and your age but then the bloods can literally change everything. Suppose that's their purpose? Just want to share now though, especially with ng. It's weird though as because with ng we only had the nuchal scan I want to let loose now. 

Lyns, you ok sweetie?


----------



## louloumay

Oh that's really great news Katie!  

Hope everything went well for you too Lyns  

Love to everyone xx


----------



## lyns76

BRILL NEWS KATIE.......so glad everything is well, enjoy the rest of the pregnancy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi everyone, hope you are all well.

Got two good embies on board so only time will tell now!!

feel like a big fat bloater and tummy is very swollen but apart from that i dont feel too bad.  The other two embs arent brilliant but they are gonna see if they grow to blasts and freeze them at that point if possible and will send us a letter to let us know, the protocol has changed so much in four years, before if they were good enuf they froze them at 4 or 5 cells so i possibly wont have any to freeze this time.

Lyns

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Congratulations on being PUPO Lyns.      I hope the next two weeks are kind to you. Rest lots and let your fab body do it's magic. 

Happy Friday girls. x


----------



## Katie4

PS I'm still worrying about these bloods!! (It's just my job really, isn't it?! A mum and a virgo, let's worry about everything!!)


----------



## louloumay

Oooh how exciting Lyns   well done you      

I'd be worrying too Katie   and for nothing I'm sure  

xx


----------



## Katie4

called ante natal clinic to try to get results but it was 4pm, not a chance of answering the phone at that time so we've taken the plunge, crossed our fingers, prayed and told ng. Was so nervous, not sure how much has gone in. Time will tell! 

How's your tum now lyns? 

Any improvement in symptoms now the dhea dose is lower loulou? 

Pocket, Chris, you ok?

Danni and aurelia. Hi!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi there,

Really chuffed for you Katie. I'm sure it will take NG a little while for it all to sink in, and for you too! As for the worrying, it goes with the territory.   So glad that NG is feeling better too - it was awful to read about what had happened. Good for you for trusting your instincts though. Now then, buggy research?!

Lyns - 2 on board - hooray. Hope you're coping with the 2ww. When's OTD?  Hope you manage to get some frosties, although at my clinic i think it's quite unusual these days as they're so darn fussy. Hopefully you won't need them though, except maybe for no.3!!

Loulou - how are you doing?  I've lost track a bit. Are cysts still causing problems? I had a cyst aspirated during Holly's cycle. It was stopping me down regging properly. Are you on the 2ww too?  Sorry - getting all confused.

Pocket, Aurelia, Dannii  - hope you are all OK.   

AFM, still trying to get my head around starting drugs on Sunday. Feels much sooner than I expected but guess that's a good thing. I'm struggling to stay off the wine though - I feel like I've forgotten all the reasons for doing it - does it really affect egg quality?  I'm off caffeine, and off nice food - life is getting very dull! We've got friends over this weekend, will be really tough not to have a glass of wine or two. Can someone give me a good talking to and remind me what I need to do?  I have been to acupuncture though, new chap, not a patch on my old one, but his clinic is much closer to home/clinic so hopefully much more convenient. This had better bl**dy work!!!

Have a good weekend everyone.

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Good for you Katie, I'm sure the penny will drop with Ng quite soon, They're not daft are they. My sister's 2 year old got it fairly quickly!

Chris, it does creep up on you doesn't it! As for the wine, caffeine etc, I don't think it matters too much as long as you don't beat yourself up for it later down the line. I'm being a bit rubbish about it all really, had a few beers, couple of cups of tea a day, hormone laden meat, non organic everything. I was a total control freak (not that I am usually Katie  ) about it all last time and it was my worst tix ever, it made life really hard and boring. The constant monitoring just reminded me every minute of the day that we were in the middle of tx, I feel much more relaxed this time not having to think about it. That probably didn't help much at all did it! Sorry  

Love to everyone xx


----------



## Katie4

Tbh I can understand why ladies go v extreme but like loulou says it's then a constant stressful reminder which surely negates the positive effects. Chris, youve lost weight which I think will have an effect, if you fancy a glass of wine have one x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Happy weekend my lovelies 

lyns congrats on being pupo, hopefully the 2ww goes quickly for you xx

katie, hows the little miss? sorry to read she was so poorly. Does it make your pg any more real now you have told her? as for the worrying, does it ever end? not a chance but thats only to be expected, its what us mums do best 

Chris i think you should do what your most comfortable with, this is your tx and your body and you know it best, what harm can a glass of wine do? maybe im being niave but its not like your going to be necking vodka from the bottle. when i was going through tx i had a glass here and there with lemonade and it really relaxed me, and i didnt regret it 

Lou lou hows tx going? im glad to hear your feeling more relaxed this time around 

pocket and aurelia hope you are both well x

afm my hangover lasted two days, not pretty haha! i had my pre op asessment yesterday and it looks as though the op will be november time unless i get a cancellation which i would be more than happy to take they're also going to sort my adhesions as well as removing the tubes completley woo-hoo  feeling pretty ok with it all, thats not to say the tears dont fall they do but together we will get through it xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hello girlies!

Sorry I have been AWOL for a bit - I was down at my parents in Kent for five days whilst DH has been away with work. I have been reading and trying countless times to post (unsuccessfully   ) on my phone as couldn't quite get on my parents laptop without being disturbed... but here I am! Will try to catch up...

Loulou - Sorry to hear about those damned cysts    Remember what I said about why I think mine came about?!    See how you go with them - remember that things happen for a reason though   

Lyns - What fab news on your PUPO-ness    All that worrying and you've got two little embies on board    Rub that tummy and pray away lady   


Dannii - Sorry to hear your hangover lasted two days    Us mummies just can't do it anymore!! I used to go out Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays (well, I say 'used to' - I mean eight years ago   ) and get absolutely smashed each time... I can't even handle one glass of vino now    Fingers crossed for a cancellation for your op   



Chris - Totally understand your frustration re: DH and the £.. you know what these blokes are like though    I too am feeling the guilt about wine drinking   When we had LO, I stopped drinking right at the start of tx, whereas I have still been having a sneaky few glasses whilst DRing... I have always promised that if we get to stimulation I will stop the booze (this makes me sound like an alkie - as I said beforehand.. I don't drink more than one, maybe two glasses at a time as I can't handle it.. just LOVE the taste!!   ) Good luck for tomorrow   



Katie - Poor LO    She sounded so poorly. I hate them being ill.. you feel so helpless, don't you? Glad she's on the mend. As for telling LO about No. 2 - don;t worry and stress about it sweetie - I really do understand your apprehension, but just try to ENJOY it. You've waited ages to get to this stage of telling your No. 1 that there is a No. 2 on its way - just live and enjoy that precious moment   



AFM, AF finally arrived on Tuesday (with a vengeance    - heavy and painful - but don't care as long as my 'uterine field' is 'being ploughed'!!!!   ) so have made an appointment with the clinic for Tuesday morning to see how it is all going. Unfortunately DH isn't able to come as he is working away again but we really didn't want to wait any longer for a scan. LO is going to a friend's for the morning so fingers Xed we will get as far as stimming         



Lots of Love to my FFs xxxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls,

Been worrying again.

I have been so poorly.  

Had terrible cramps from 11am yesterday morning, felt like labour pains it was so bad.  Wasnt like period pains more like bad abdominal cramps and i had to stay in bed all day.  I am not in as much pain today but tummy feels tender to touch and worried now that its harmed my little embs   

Really not sure what it was, only think i can think of is that it was a bad reaction to the 6 brazil nuts i had about an hour before!!!

Lyns xx


----------



## Katie4

Sweetie could it have been trapped wind from when they put the embies back? It's monstrously painful when wind gets where it shouldn't - I was in agony after my lap and dye. It's ok to worry, you would worry whether you had had a transfer or not but if the embies are settling in v little will shift them, it's just u as the mummy to be who suffers.  Also, are you using rectal progesterone? That can play havoc with your bowels. 

At 7 weeks I phoned epu in tears because I was in agony but they reassured me- maybe worth a call to your clinic? 

Big hugs x


----------



## louloumay

Hi Pocket! I did wonder where you were! Glad Af finally came for you even if it was a bit on the painful side. Good luck for Tuesday!     

Lyns, please try not to worry, I don't think brazil nuts are generally known for food poisoning and if it was the nuts they would have found their way out one way or another and then you would know for sure (IYKWIM!  ). Whatever it was, and it could be implantation cramps, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt your embies. If abdominal cramps or food poisoning could dislodge an embie I expect women all over the world with unwanted pregnancies would be eating out of date seafood  . 

I'm sorry you've had a rough day hun, and I'm absolutely sure I would be worrying exactly the way you are. I would come and talk to you guys so you could tell me to stop it. So stop it     

Dannii, fancy having a 2 day hangover  , you must really be out of practice!

Katie, Chris  

Oh nearly forgot to say, had an Ovitrelle injection today to try and shift those pesky cysts. If it doesn't work and they cancel the tx do you get any money back? If not that's probably the end of it  

Off to bath LO  

Lyns, Katie  posted just as I was writing the above post. Trapped wind sound very likely doesn't it? Great idea to call the clinic for reassurance


----------



## louloumay

AND I had awful cramps after my last EC about 5 minutes after I popped my progesterone in where the sun don't shine. Could be that?


----------



## PocketRocket

Lyns - Don't panic    Silly to say I know as we all would be the same but it could be to do with your bowels    I suffer from mild IBS and if I get stressed or worried then I get terrible tummy cramps. Your poor body has been through a lot so do try to relax - easier said than done hey?! The girls are right.. those little embies are incredibly protected in there   

Loulou - Fingers crossed the Ovitrelle works   That's what I had (when they thought my cysts were follies though   ) If they did have to cancel the tx, I know that my clinic did me a favour and worked around the cost of a cancelled cycle by just charging me for the cost of the two scans I had and the bloods they took to find out what the problem was. Apparently that worked out cheaper than charging the cancellation fee.. but you should defo get some £ back... but that won't happen     

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## lyns76

Thanks so much girls, just a bit upset cus everything had been going so smooth!!

I think it could well be trapped wind   
Never had it before and never want it again, didnt realise it could be so painfull !!

Tummy's not quite right and very tender but its better than yesterday.
I have been toilet today (sorry too much info) but really feel like i need to empty my bowels (sorry guys)   

Does anyone know if its ok to take senokot

Sorry to rant on, how is everyone??

Loulou - hope Ovitrelle does the trick for you sweatheart. xx

Pocket - really hope everything goes well on Tuesday for you xx

Dannii - well done on the 2 day hangover    I think i would have one for a week, been so long since i had a good drinking session ha xx

katie - hope you are feeling ok and that the lovely news is sinking in, it will fly by and your lovely baby will soon be in your arms xx

Chris - bet your excited to get starting with the TX again, if like me i bet your nervous too, we have so much riding on this and the costs doesnt help at all, good luck honey xx

Sorry if i have missed anyone out, my heads not with it at the mo !!!

At least i can say i have had plenty of rest, not felt well enough to do much at all just be using hubby and my little man as slaves since Thurs.

Love you lots,

Lyns

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Think senokot is a no as it's a stimulant laxative.... Will double check. Lactulose is allowed but side effects are wind!


----------



## Katie4

Not a lot of info on senokot in preg hun so I'd steer clear, plus it's potent so might actually make things sore by clearing you out too effectively. Lactulose is ok, but takes a couPle of days to kick in so try to oPt for simple measures like lots of fluid, moving if you can (walking) and fruit and veg. 

Might be worth calling the clinic tO see if you can swap to a diff progesterone supplement- it can be given vaginally or orally. 

Big hugs and here's hoping for some movement soon x 

Ps peppermint tea or sucking mints might help to soothe your tummy x


----------



## louloumay

I think Katie is right about senokot Lyns, I believe it works by irritating your bowels so can be really uncomfortable.

I find eating grapefruit or even a couple of glasses of juice works a treat the next day, and lots of water. Don't have the grapefruit juice at the same time as any oral medication or vitamins though as it can interfere with absorption.

Hope you feel better soon hun


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi ladies,

How are you all today?

Got scan tomorrow to see if DRing has worked :0/ Feeling a little nervous now...

Lots of love to you xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Good luck pocket, so hope you get good news.,

Lyns- hope you are managing ok x 

Loulou and Chris, hope the injections are going ok. 

Danni and aurelia - evening! 

Sorry to be brief, feeling rubbish - did too much today but it was worth it, took ng to a children's theme  Park  - so proud, she went on three rides, one of which was the caterpillar roller coaster! it was near Melton Mowbray for those of you in the east midlands. Would be brilliant for children from 2 and a half to 11!


----------



## louloumay

God luck Pocket, fingers xed   

Hope you feel better Katie, Ng on a caterpillar, how cute  

Chris, 2 injections? All good? I'm a bit sick of it already, I'm starting to get absent minded about it. Almost forgot yesterday  

Lyns, how is your tummy?  

Dannii


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Well, my uterine field is well and truly ploughed (quote my consultant   ), so bring on the planting    Started my Gonal F today which is a relief if nothing else   Still a long way to go but trying to take it one step at a time    Scan on Monday to see how follies are doing     

Dannii - Hope you're ok   

Katie - Sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday    Make sure you are resting up today   

Chris - How's the jabbing going?   

Loulou - Know what you mean about becoming absent minded    Keep going though... you'll be back into the swing of things as soon as you know it   

Lyns - Hope the tummy is better   

A day of housework ahead of me now but after a busy few days and hectic ones ahead.. a day a home with my little man is just what the doctor ordered   

Take care xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Brilliant news pocket!!! Well done you.


----------



## louloumay

Yippee Pocket! Excellent news  

ps. Don't know what 'god luck' is  

xx


----------



## Katie4

I quite like it, adds a religious element!


----------



## chrisgib

Well Done Pocket - I love the stimming bit onwards - so much more exciting!

I like 'god' luck too - it's what we all need.   

I only start jabbing tonight, as have just had 2 days of tablets, quite looking forward to it really - makes me feel like I'm doing something. Have fallen off the diet wagon this week though, so need to get back on that to feel in control again. Holly having lots of paddies today as have baby Harper (not Beckham (her parents were horrified)) with us. Big deep breath.....  Thankfully my Gina relaxation CD has just arrived - might need it before the day is out.

Lyns - how's your tummy?  Hope you're feeling better.   

Katie - hope you've got your feet up watching crap daytime tv.

Hi Loulou, Danni, Aurelia   

Better go and referree between the girls now. Whereas Holly wins with cunning, Harper wins by body weight!

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

If only...working but at least moved meetings so am at home all this week now   Have also let the cat out of the bag at work. Had some nice messages - one "I knew, I knew" - yeah WHATEVER!!!    Silly moo. Prob hurt her feelings as told someone else so they could tell her. (Small revenge for the gossiping). Oh and one "I knew" from someone as I postponed a meeting till now from mid July!  

Don't worry too much about the diet now hun, you are about to be knee deep in hormones..actually you already are by the sounds of your two LOs


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls   

Loulou - I didn't even realise that you'd written 'god luck'    Well, thanks though - it worked   

Chris - Sounds like you've been a busy bee today! Quite good practice for when your No.2 comes along though    I'm assuming that by your 'Gina' CD you meant 'Zita'?!!    I'm planning on listening to mine tonight.. makes me feel as if I am doing something constructive!

Katie - Must be a relief telling everyone at work    Although I'm with you on the 'I knew' comments.. I got a lot of those too - it just kind of spoils it in a way doesn't it?

DH is home late tonight and LO has gone down to bed like a dream.. so going to make the most of the peace and quiet   

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Ooops - Gina Ford would have had a fit if she'd seen me today - not a sniff of a routine! Between her and Zita I should either be really sorted, or really screwed up - the latter me thinks.

If and when no.2 does come along - I'm never leaving the house!  Saying that, the gap would now be such that Holly will have started pre-school - so I might make it to the supermarket.    Sorry Katie, don't want to frighten you - it'll be a breeze for you I'm sure.   

Enjoy your CD tonight Pocket - I'm going to give mine a go too, although I'd much prefer a very large glass of wine!

love to you all.

Christine
xxx

ps - feeling cheerier as went to weigh in and amazingly lost a pound - not the huge gain I was expecting.


----------



## Katie4

Ooh pocket that sounds lovely. Dh is out on Thursday and I've friends coming over for a take away. Know ng will be intrigued by the noise - had hoped dh would be about to put her to bed and give me the night off! Silly Katie! 

Chris- I imagined a gina ford cd - so harsh tones and strict instructions to relax for precisely 8 minutes before ironing Muslins, having scheduled sex with your dh and then sleeping for exactly 6 and a half hours!! (I regularly read the contented baby book to make sure I felt like I was failing and would regularly throw it across the room!) she's actually much less strict when it comes to your 2nd- funny that!

And Chris- don't worry I tOld nursery today and have ng booked in for 2.5 days a week till the second is 4 and a half months. Then dropping to 2 days. She's elligible for 15 hrs free in the summer term so it's quite a lot cheaper than now.


----------



## lyns76

Hi all,

Hope everyone is well.

I am so so upset, been stupid.
Not felt too good last few days which i think is down to the gestone etc and whilst shopping today i picked up an early pregnancy test, and guess what......yes i bloody tested and it was negative.

Not due to test till next thurs but been having period pains and felt unwell so just wanted to know i guess.
I know everyone is gonna say its too early but it supposedly can detect a pregnancy 5 days before a missed period, test date is 6 days away so i am guessing its gonna be pretty accurate.

Why has my life had to turn out so friggin sh*t


----------



## chrisgib

Ah Lyns, the early tester - I do sympathise, as I always test early too. But take no notice of it. Those early tests are rubbish, and can't pick up anything. There's 101 reasons why it might not show up just yet.  Whilst my last one didn't quite pan out, remember it did only show on OTD. Every day prior to that had been negative.

Saying all that - it's a rubbish feeling hun, and I wish I could give you a big   . Try and keep the faith though. Difficult I know, but it's not over til it's over.

Don't succumb to the alcohol and caffeine just yet - there's a big chance that it could still come good.

              

Christine
xxxx

ps - hi everyone, all a bit quiet on here recently - all OK?


----------



## louloumay

Lyns, just a quicky, need to put LO to bed, late already.

I tested 6  days before otd with my chem pg and got a neg, 2 days later it was pos. Please try not to think about it. You just don't know      

Sending you     

Love to all, xxxx

back later hopefully with a bit more  and   for you Lyns


----------



## PocketRocket

Lyns - Don't you dare give up hope yet!! It's way too early to make any judgements... almost half of the 2WW early! Try not to torture yourself - as easy as it is to say    Try not to do any more until OTD - as Chris said, it could all come good     

Hope you are all ok? AFM, been stimming for 4 days now and feeling a little antsy about it all    Not negative as such, but I wouldn't say positive either... just determined, I guess    Hoping and praying the scan will show some beautifully grown eggies on Monday      

DH is working late again tonight and I am thinking I might be in for a bit of a troublesome evening with LO    We went to the park for the whole afternoon with friends and wore himself out good and proper - but I stupidly let him sleep far too late in the afternoon    I just couldn't see myself getting thru teatime and bathtime without it - now he's forcing a very loud 'come and get me Mummy' cry from his cot   

Bugger - better go and try to settle him    typical.. tea is in the oven and Eastenders has just started   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


----------



## lyns76

thanks for the kinds words ladies, really appreciate it but i am out of it all now.

Started bleeding literally an hour after testing - i knew something in my head was telling me to test   

I have only managed to go 1 week and its even early by my usual 25/26 day cycle.
I am absolutely inconsolable but trying my best to not have a total meltdown.

Little man keeps asking me whats wrong and its so hard to hide my tears from him.

I am sorry just going through the usual WHY ME !!!!

For some reason i thought the gestone injections and cyclogest would at least get me to test date, its not implantation bleed as period pains have started.

Lyns

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Lyns           

Give that little man of yours a hug.

Pocket xxx


----------



## lyns76

thank you - he wont be able to move tomorrow, gonna hold him that tight i wont wanna let go.

I just have to keep thinking of how worse things were before i had him, i have a good life, fantastic hubby and beautiful son and i AM a mummy.

Looks like the puppy will be coming sooner than i expected.

really gonna c how i feel about adoption and surf the net none stop to c what can help hubbys swimmers.  his count on egg retrieval was again above average which was great news just need to get more of them swimming.

It helps me to have plans - gonna have a follow up and c if i can have further tests on tubes etc just incase its not all down to hubbys swimmers.

Thanks for all your support - will be crying a few more tears yet but i WILL mend.

This wont beat me -NO FU**ING CHANCE !!

Hope you get your dream this time Pocket - we need some more positives xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Lyns -   

I'm sure your clinic will say test on OTD anyway, lots of people bleed early/during their pregnancy. But you know your body best and I know only too well that awful BFN feeling. I wish I could make it all better for you. Focusing on No1 today like Pocket says is probably the best tonic. Let yourself be upset though, come and rant on here, it's what we're here for.

Really sorry.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Lyns - I really feel for you sweetheart    but I can 'hear' the determination in your post    Good for you - you're right, don't let it beat you.. something will happen for you to look back at this crappy time and realise that it happened for a reason (my mantra   ). I think having a plan is a great idea - I am just the same, I need to have something to do/focus on - it's a good way of helping you get through this sh*t.

Let the tears fall, don't let go of your little man (and big man   ) and stay strong, petal! 

Sending you lots of love xxx

Hope you other girlies are all ok out there


----------



## Katie4

Oh lyns, I am so so sorry. So unfair. Am glad your boys are there with you and that despite the tears the anger is driving you on. This is a marathon journey and you're on a ****7y diversion right now. 

Sending you enormous hugs and strength x x x


----------



## Katie4

Ps can you get thE clinic to check your progesterone levels now as low levels can cause problems early on x


----------



## louloumay

Lyns I am so sorry hun, that is so sh*t  

Be nice to yourself for a while,  cry, be angry, and then get back on that bloody horse and beat it into submission  

It's so crappy having to go through all this but hopefully it will be worth it all in the end    

Sending you a tonne of love and


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Oh lyns i am so so sorry to read your news, heartbreaking


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

How are you all? 

Lyns - How are you feeling sweetie?   

Loulou & Chris - How's tx going? Whereabouts are you both up to now?   

Dannii - Hope you're ok and staying positive   

Katie - How's that little bump coming along?   

AFM, had scan this morning to see if the stimms are doing their job and it seems that they are    thank goodness    Womb lining is thickening nicely and have about 8-10 follicles developing so far. Going back for a second scan on Friday morning to see if they have got to the right size... providing all is ok then EC could be scheduled for Tuesday      Got a wedding this weekend so kind of relieved we'll bypass that! Although I wouldn't have gone obviously as tx takes priority but it always adds extra pressure when you have to cancel things/explain when you have appointments, doesn't it?!    Just hoping that if we get as far as ET we'll be able to squeeze it in before I go back to work    

Hope you are all ok chicks   

PR xxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Oh pocket thats fab news  glad the stimmings going well. know exactly what you mean with the whole cancelling, re-arranging etc, the uncertainty of tx just adds more flipping stress. 

im trying to stay positive, hosp rang me on friday and i had to go up for a chest xray, keep getting recurrent infections and the aneathatist (?) wants to make sure im fit for surgery.

totally of the subject but my furbaby is at the vets getting spayed today and im so worried about her, dp cant understand why im so stressed, shes my baby 

hope everyone is well today x


----------



## chrisgib

Great news Pocket - good work! All sounds perfectly textbook -   the result will be too.    I'm really sorry though, i'd meant to come on last night to wish you luck but ran out of time.

Dannii - I'm sure your furbaby will be OK, thankfully they don't have the emotional complexity that we do so it makes everything so much easier for them I'm sure. No easier for you though!  Glad the hospital are being careful with you too, hopefully the xray will show them what's what.

I'm still jabbing - hate the d/r bit. But only another week hopefully before stimming starts. So am I about 2 weeks behind you Pocket?  I've just booked another trip to St Ives though - seems tradition to be there around OTD!  I like to have something to look forward to, just in case of bad news. I need to buy myself a decent phone before we go though, otherwise getting online is a nightmare.

Hi to everyone - what's happening? (or 'what doing?' as Holly would say!)

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Hi girls, on the downstairs pc so have to be quick before dp and LO get back.

Great news Pocket, hope it all goes smoothly for you this time  

I am having a pretty bad day, had to cancel my apt at the clinic as af hasn't arrived and if it doesn't come by Saturday will have to cancel tx. On top of that my laptop has crashed and taken two months worth of childminding work and research with it. Don't have recovery discs either. 

Will you girls give me a talking to please?

Love to all

PS Dannii, know what you mean about furbaby, I'm sure she'll be fine though


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Loulou,  hopefully AF will arrive soon, why would they have to cancel tx though?  Seems a bit harsh to say the least - is it because you'd fall in to a different 'slot' in their scheduling?

As for the laptop - that is a complete bu**er. So so frustrating when that happens - you'd think there must be a way of retrieving all that data somehow. I'd be in floods of tears about that alone, let alone the clinic stuff.

Not really giving you much of a talking to though - both these things are really out of your control so you've every right to be angry and upset. Try to relax though, might speed AF up a bit.

I've been listening to my Zita CD again today - I think it's actually quite good, I'm usually a complete cynic on these mumbo jumbo things!

 Loulou.  Crap day today - tomorrow will be better.

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Thanks  Chris, I was in floods of tears, and more about the laptop too. But that did happen after the cancellation so may have been a catalyst. Anyway, I'm sure I can recover the data. I've got my 'the bloody thing wont beat me' head on now and just need an adaptor to hook the hard drive up to my pc. I'll just have to cough up the £50 for the recovery discs. Can't live with out a laptop...............(well, I sure I could but I'd rather not  )

As for the cancelled tx, Isn't it normal procedure to bin it off if the cysts wont bugger off?

Glad the cd's are helping, perhaps I should get some

xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Loulou    Sounds like you are having a ****e day    

Computers are all well and good except for when they mess up, hey?! £50 is a small price to pay though in order to get all of your hard work back - besides, aren't us IF girls used to paying out ridiculous amounts of money in the hope of getting something back?!    Standard   

As for your tx, I understand that the clinic may cancel tx if the cysts won't go, but they could be cysts that go with your AF - so why not wait until you have had it so they can scan you to see if all is clear?    There is probably a good reason for them saying they will cancel it, but I'd be inclined to question it just in case. 

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi Pocket,

The clinic said they would scan me after af comes but if she doesn't arrive by saturday they would cancel and start again. I don't know why Saturday is the time limit?

As for the bloody computer, the £50 is just for recovery discs that will wipe the hard drive and reinstall Windows. It might repair it but I doubt it. I will either have to try and recover the files before I do that or get someone that actually knows what they are doing to do it for me  

I'm always spouting on to DP about how great technology is because he hates it. He looked really smug when I told him!  

How are you, anyway?


----------



## PocketRocket

I am sure that you will be able to find a computer geek who can rescue you from your technical distress    This kind of thing happens all the time so there must be a way to sort it    Just tell your DP that you'll locate a nice handsome young man to sort it all for you - then he might not look so smug    

I'm ok thanks - feeling a little bloated and tender around the ovaries as to be expected but a small price to pay if it all works    Not sure what I'll do if it doesn't...    Anyway - can't think that way at the moment!! 
DH is driving me crazy going on about not being able to drink at the wedding this weekend if EC is on Tuesday    I have told him in not so many words that he needs to get over it as I am not drinking either and if this tx works then I shan't be drinking for 9 months for the second time in my life so his moans shall fall on deaf ears   

Wonder why your clinic have said to cancel tx on a specific date? Maybe they just have a deadline for when things like this happen.  I suppose it prevents you from arsing around DRing for 7 weeks like me!!   

PR xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Pocket - I sypmathise with the DH drinking thing. When it's that close though, DH always throws back at me that the consultant said it's what they do/eat/drink 6-8 weeks before that matters.  It's a toughie though, they don't seem to realise all the sacrifices that we make, never mind all the drugs we have to take - blah blah blah!

Once you've seen that BFP you won't want a drink either - but don't tell DH that!

Men!!!   

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

God Pocket, that was total deja vu, I can't believe they've even got the cheek to complain! 

My clinic only does fertility Mondays, Wednesdays and saturdays (blimey, I couldn't for the life of me remember how to spell saturday then  ). Blinking part-timers.


----------



## Katie4

Loulou, it will be there somewhere you just need to take it to someone who can find it. Look at your local IT companies - any offer this kind of thing? And, to future proof anything further sign up for a free drop box account on the web, it's just like a folder on your desk top but actually stores it all securely online. (and your emotions about that and treatment are perfectly normal....for someone with af looming all being well) 

Pocket , great news for you Hun. Well done. And the wedding will be a nice distraction. Are you taking LO? Hope so as it's a good excuse for an early night! 

Chris, a hol will do you good and it would be lovely for you to go and get a nice result x 

Danni, oh love, lots of chest infections doesnt sound fun and I can understand your worry about the X-ray  but at 
least they are being thorough. 

Lyns, thinking of you hun. 

Aurelia, you still with us sweetie? 

Thanks for asking girls, am at the "feeling slightly better but omg so tired " stage! Ng seems to be getting her little head around it all a bit more and we've asked her about moving bedrooms and having a princess themed one and she seems keen although said she would prefer a farm themed one which I was a bit gutted about! Lol. Think I may conveniently forget that! 

Keep posting won't you all? For me FF is such a life line x


----------



## Katie4

Ha ha, my last comment was because it's been so quiet on here...not tonight though. 

Pocket- tell your dh he has got off lightly, you've never made him eat pumpkin seeds by the handful or made him shove a thermometer down his pants to prove he's not boiling his sperm ....that's the kind of wife he could have. Skipping a few drinks is nothing!!!


----------



## louloumay

Oh Katie you're so lucky! I'd be over the moon if LO wanted a farm themed room  , I'm so sick of princesses and pukey pink it drives me potty! My current resistance is a pink Disney themed packed lunch box. I want her to have a choice so I tabbed pages of ones I liked,  owl ones, Scoobydoo ones, spongebob etc but on one of the Amazon pages there was a teeny weeny  picture of a pink mouse one that was in the same range as the owl bag and SHE SPOTTED IT A MILE OFF!! I said it had sold out    

How mean am I!!!


----------



## Katie4

Ah the pink obsession is relatively new. The princess too
Is actually lilac and green with only a tiny bit of pink! There will of course be a peppa duvet and lamp shade though! Lol

How's everyone today?


----------



## louloumay

Rubbish. Yours?


----------



## Katie4

That should say the princess room not princess too! 

Loulou, need parenting advice- ng goes to bed after playing or stories at 7.30. She's in a cot bed with a guard bit doesn't get out. She was shouting us lots and messing about so we let her have books in bed. But now she's staying awake till 8.30 or later. She sleeps till 7 ish most days and will sleep for an hour at nursery or if we are out but up to 2 hrs if at home in bed. So my question- is bedtime too late? Should we take the books away? I've done it tonight as she had been naughty but she's now recounting her day to her toys! Any advice?


----------



## Katie4

Whats wrong loulou? X x


----------



## chrisgib

Katie - that bedtime sounds heavenly to me!  I reckon she'll start to change though as she reduces her day time nap, so she'll inevitably start falling asleep earlier.  Holly was asleep by 6.45pm tonight as she had no nap today and has been up since 6.30am. It's taken her ages to adjust though, and is still struggling to do it every day, as am I!  

Think I need to find a job soon - any ideas on what fits in with family, isn't too taxing and pays well?!   

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Oh everything........nothing.............ykwim.

Spent all day trying to fix the STUPID laptop. Recovered my files but Vista has done a bunk. The wild salmon I bought for tea was off, light bulb blew up, no AF, spots, ran out of eggs.............milk.........blah blah blah.

You know when you have one of those days when everything you touch either goes off. blows up, falls apart, runs out, isn't washed ready for (another) soft play party......aaargh!

Anyway ng telling her toys about her day cheered me up  . Chris is right, bedtime sounds normal. Books are a great idea, nice and chilled out. They go to sleep when they're ready as long as they aren't over stimulated (which DP seems to have trouble remembering when he's dancing around the kitchen with her just before bedtime   )


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Loulou    Sounds like a frubbish day    It'll seem better tomorrow. Promise    PS. Where did the wild salmon go?!    Sorry - terrible joke   

Katie - I too loved the comment about NG telling her toys about her day    So cute - makes you realise why we're all going through this again   

Chris - A job that pays well, isn't too taxing and fits in with family? Let me know if you find it   

AFM - The days are just going so quickly at the moment.. it'll be back to school for me soon    Feeling very bloated at the moment and struggling to drink the 2-3 litres recommended whilst on stimms    

Feeling a little more nervous as each day passes now.. keep wondering how the hell I will deal with a -ive result (if we even get that far)    But trying to push that out of my mind and focus on the +ive    
DH said he is feeling excited-nervous, but I know that he needs me to stay strong and positive. I wasn't last time (our BFP cycle) and DH was very good at hiding his nerves - as he admitted tonight. He said he felt nervous but obviously hid it well from me... he did! I think that this time around we need to support each other and stay +ive for us all - looking back maybe he did a lot of the positive support/thinking for me.. perhaps he did it as he was feeling guilty as I know sometimes he thinks it is 'his fault' that we have to go thru this   

Sorry about that waffle - got me on a tangent there   

Hope you're all ok - BTW, how bloody miserable is this weather?!!!

Pocket xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh and Loulou - I know where you are coming from re: DH hyping up the LO    I have lost count of he number of times I have been calming down F before bed and DH comes in from work and starts playfighting or throwing him around on the bed   

Men   

xxxxx


----------



## Katie4

So then girls, where are we up to? I'm still narcoleptic and am struggling to remember my own name so forgive me but this is where I think we are:

Loulou, having bad week, mending vile laptop, hunting for vista and waiting for AF. Fed up of all things pink...even this? (Be warned this is the one I love!!  )
http://www.mywonderfulwalls.com/wall-stickers1/princess/princess-wall-sticker.html
(DH is trying to suggest we have vivid coloured monkeys and jungle animals instead...I've said they will give her nightmares  )

Pocket, waiting for another scan, thinking about things and worrying a lot (but that's OK we all do it  )

Chris, in the midst of treatment, off on her hols again  (not that I'm envious, I am off to Centre Parcs again (I know, I vowed not again!!) with in laws and DH Mon-Fri..weather will be crap, wish we'd bit the bullet and were off to Spain!)

Danni, waiting for an x ray

Aurelia and Lyns - just having time away at the mo? Big hugs to you both x x x

And, I'm not on ** but do rarely nosey round Friends Reunited. I logged on yesterday for the first time in 2 years and found not one but two e-mails from a boy(!) I met when I was 14 on holiday (in 1993!!!) - no romance but we did swap addresses as you did in those days and I vaguely remember (with some reminders from my sister last night - the texts back and forth we hysterical - she remembered the hotel name - how??!) he did write to me maybe once. What a  Seriously, he has to be in his mid thirties now and is contacting a girl he met when he was 16/17...?!

/links


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

Was just thinking about posting to see how you are all are    You beat me to it, Katie   

Yep, waiting for scan tomorrow    Hoping and praying that EC will be on Tuesday so I don't have to make excuses and take any time off work    Besides, just want to get onto it now    
Feeling very nervous about everything but ok - IYKWIM. Felt quite 'flat' and fed up yesterday... really tired and lethargic (this damned weather doesn't exactly help!) and quite bloated and uncomfortable, but not feeling as bad today - belly and emotional wise! 
Busy getting ready for this wedding on Saturday - we're going down to Kent straight from the clinic tomorrow so am hoping that they won't keep us waiting as they have done for the past two appointments    Got a feeling we'll be sitting in Bank holiday traffic as it is...    

Hope you girls are all ok    love having you all here to chat to   

PR xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

BTW - your Friends Reunited story made me laugh Katie! Maybe the guy has got the seven year itch and wants to relive his 'yoof'      

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Pocket....! 

Fingers crossed everyone is running on time tomorrow and the wedding is terrific. DH still being funny about the no booze thing? 

Must get on and do some work today, life just keeps getting in the way.

Oh crap icecream in Asda order sat on counter....


----------



## louloumay

Yes you are bang on Katie, that's exactly where I am, oh except AF arrived with a vengeance. Don't want to discuss the bloody laptop, I've just lost 2 (or is it 3?) days of my life trying to fix it!  

About your stalker   I expect he lurves you and hasn't been able to get you out of his thoughts for the last 18 years. He's finally plucked up the courage to contact you and you've shot him down in flames. You're a cruel, cruel woman     

Pocket, I so hope it all goes smoothly for you, it's been a rocky road. You deserve for it all to just slot into place with perfect timing     

Lyns, I hope you are ok hun

Chris, Dannii, Aurelia   

Oh and Katie, hate the stickers!  No, seriously they are quite cute, bit toooooooooooo pink though


----------



## Katie4

They are v girly, was debating the stencils instead so we can make them more lilac and purple but I'm scared of screwing it up. DH has said why wouldn't the decorator do it but I think it would be too long and expensive. Will find the monkeys and put a link in.  We can vote.

Here's what she currently has...brown branch pale pink flowers on a sort of stone coloured wall. very subtle and calming...

http://www.acte-deco.fr/02nature-/2617-branche-et-feuilles.html

Brilliant news on AF though, knew you were premenstrual from the tone of your posts. Sorry laptop is being a pain in the backside. Did you find your files?

/links


----------



## chrisgib

Hi,

Katie you got me right too - although it would have been right at any stage in the last 12 months I think. Treatment and holidays - is there anything else?!   

Potty training has been my only other excitement - started properly on Friday and she seems to have cracked it. Wondering now why we didn't tackle it earlier, but previously she'd seemed entirely clueless and we'd had no success at all. Anyway - job done, for now anyway. Plenty of time for it all to go wrong. Nice to have envious friends, even if just for a week or two until theirs cotton on!   

Good luck tomorrow Pocket - let us know how you get on. How many are you expecting, what's your track record like?

Loulou - so glad AF has arrived - hopefully in time for the clinic's 'deadline'?

Katie - how have bedtimes been - any change? 

I'm still d/r  - start stimming on Wednesday hopefully.   Yawn Yawn Yawn.  On a plus side, a lady the same age as me on my Bristol thread has got her BFP and is expecting twins. There is hope.....   Not sure I can cope with twins though!

Better go and get H away from cbeebies!

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Haha, funny how everyone else recognises a 'hormoanal' rant before we do ourselves! Yes, recovered my files (phew ) just not Windows. Yet...............

Love how Ng's room is now, why change it?

Chris, good news on the PT! Well done. Brilliant news about Bristol lady's twins( ) too! I'm Starting stims Monday so It seems we're fairly in sync.


----------



## chrisgib

Should I be stressing that my AF hasn't arrived yet?  

I have PMS from hell, so it must be soon - unless I've really just turned in to a right old cow.   

Christine
x


----------



## PocketRocket

Woohoo to AF arriving Loulou!    Good luck for the stimms on Monday.. now the fun really starts   

Chris - I'm well jell about your holiday    (excuse the TOWIE reference.. I don't even watch it   ) Fingers Xed you start stimming soon. DRing is very boring!!! Don't panic about AF (says she who ALWAYS does!) Mine always seems to be late whilst DRing. As for my track record - well, I only have one other tx to refer to but I had about 10 follicles last time and they eventually collected 11 eggs. My lining was ready early on as it is this time round too. I like to think it's because I have a snuggly womb    
Impressed about H's potty training! My friend's LO picked it up really quickly too. I'm inclined to think it's a girl thing    I spoke to my old boss (who had tx at the same time as me) yesterday and she said that her LO (who is 4 days older than F) did a wee in the potty last week      Mainly because she poured warm water on his willy!!! Why on earth would you start toilet training your 16 month old?!! Let them be a baby for Christ's sake?! She's always been a bit like that - but then says she hates it when he seems all grown up?!!   

Katie - I agree with Loulou.. reckon you've broken this guy's heart    DH hasn't mentioned the booze thing too much since I gave him a good talking too.. but I daresay once we reach the weekend I'll hear a few more moans...   


In fact, I was planning to have a glass of wine with the wedding breakfast this weekend - do you think it would hurt or should I just stay away? If this tx didn't work I know I would blame that single galss of wine    so is it worth it?!!

PR xxx


----------



## Katie4

Chris it will come but there's more mood swings to come until it arrives and then you can heave a sigh of relief!! 

Lou- well we decorated the nursery in our old house with the tree then had to do it all again (the same) when we moved (shock move!) at 5 months and now it's so she can have a big girls room and the baby can have the nursery and it's lovely and pretty but a bit plain and I just can't do a 3rd tree! Lol 

Pocket good luck- and please remember one glass of wine will not change the outcome of your treatment - however your dh might fall out with u under the circumstances! Lol

Am debating bums tums and thighs as not been for 9 weeks and I need to work on my core strength to stop my pelvis going lala (instructor v good, won't be doing the tums bit) but could be sat on my fat ass eating so it's tough! Lol


----------



## louloumay

Ohhhhhh I get it now   , new baby, new room, of course. Good idea Katie.

Good luck tmrw Pocket  , oh and I'm sure a glass of wine is fine, not if you are going to beat yourself up about it later though!

Chris, Yes AF came in time, got a scan Saturday. Had a nightmare with blood tests again though, I seem cursed with them. A bloody patronising, up her own backside, jobsworth of a receptionist at the doctors got right up my nose about it today. Insisted she couldn't just give me a copy of my tests, 'it could take up to 2 weeks if there is a charge, I can't just print them off willynilly'. They've done it for me tons of times. Stupid woman. 

Oh! Got lost in rant then! Sorry.  Have you infected me with your pmt Chris? I'd rather you didn't, I only just got rid of my own thankyouverymuch.


----------



## Katie4

Silly moo cow- the receptionist that is!!! Instead make an unnecessary dr appointment and get them to do it there and then. It will ultimately cost the nhs more but if they will employ these silly people it's all they deserve! 

Dh and I have had a row about the new bedroom. He thinks he knows best and is against anything little girly- I will not be overruled. (have just booked ng to do a horsey ride at centre parcs next week- dh was all negative about it but I know she'll love it! Hmm am getting v confrontational this pregnancy!)

Good luck for tomorrow pocket and Saturday loulou x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Loulou - I seriously believe that doctor's receptionists are a certain species - as are school secretaries    They really are the most insensitive old dragons   

Katie - I'm liking this 'standing your ground'    Us women know best, after all   

Feeling a little nervous about tomorrow    Now there's a surprise! Am hoping that I will be too preoccupied with packing and getting things sorted for the weekend away to stress too much in the morning   

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Pocket  , it'll be over before you know it and I'm sure it'll be good news    

Katie, no matter how much I hate pink and girlie, If DP said no I'd cut my nose off to spite my face and do the pinkest, girliest room I could possibly muster! We are so stubborn us girls


----------



## Katie4

I just think her little world is going to turn upside down in feb and want her to have her own little sanctuary. Dh said the house is that- er no darling, the office is yours, the lounge and kitchen are mine... Ng needs something that suits her. 

I have since been on the next site - I love it all!!! V expensive but so pretty. Doubt she needs a pink spotty arm chair but I love it! Ooh and I've found some diff stickers, thing is she knows about the princess castle and horsey and was talking to me about it so am in a bit of a tricky situation. 

Did I mention I'm getting quotes to have my rocking horse restored? Thought it would make a great present to ng from no 2- suspect it's going to come back at some ridiculous amount though as the lady said it would be a lot cheaper than a new one but as they are well over £1000 I think I'm going to regret even investigating it as anything over about £250 and dh will go bonkers. even that would be v hard to find. Will of course share so we can all laugh at the figure! 

Good luck pocket and loulou again. Chris hope af comes soon. 

Fingers crossed I can get back to sleep!


----------



## chrisgib

Good luck Pocket - thinking of you today.   

Katie - hope you weren't up in the night worrying about the bedroom decorations. I'm sure DH will come round (he likes to keep you on your toes!)  At least you've started thinking about it early - gives him some time. He's probably still in shock that you're having no.2.   

Still no AF here. Feel like the mood is lifting though, but maybe that's because it's Friday and I'm going out for a nice breakfast with friends this morning. (Going to be bad mother and take the dvd player for Holly in case she plays up!)

Loulou - how are you feeling?

Chat later, when my tummy is full of pancake!

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Ha ha Chris, no NG woke at 3am and wanted a wee and then I couldn't get back to sleep so watched some telly, had a snack   and just as I was nodding off she woke up because there was a little tinkle on the bed (she won't put a nappy back on). Sheets changed and I slipped into a coma and decided we would start work and nursery late today. 

Enjoy your pancakes, it's lunch time now. What shall I have?!  

AF will arrive soon, wear some white pants or nice knickers, it's guaranteed. PLus if you are feeling better that's always a sign it's on it's way. 

Pocket hope you are all scanned and on your way to the wedding. 

Loulou, what time is your scan tomorrow?


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

just a quickie as posting on my phone whilst in bloody bank holiday traffic :0(

After waiting ages in the clinic (AGAIN - getting a little p*ssed off with having to wait at least half hour after our appt time each visit we make.. The thousands of pounds we're paying should allow us a little priority ;0) ) I was finally scanned and EC is def on Tues now. Six follies on one ovary plus three on the other. Not as many as last time but hopefully will be enough. Feeling relieved but also very nervous as know the next bit of waiting to see if any have fertilised (and the 2WW if we get that far!) is hellish! They say ignorance is bliss and for our first cycle that certainly was the case!! But trying to think positive ;0) Got to do my release jab at 1.15am on Sunday night/Monday morning.. I've not seen that time for ages!!!

Katie - I must admit I did panic when I saw how early this morning you'd posted! I worried that something was wrong!!

Chris - Loving the fact that you do 'bad parent' things too. I put LO in his highchair with an ice lolly watching Waybuloo yesterday just so I could read HEAT magazine in peace. How bad is that?!!?!

Lots of love to you all xxx


----------



## Katie4

OMg quote no1 for rocking horse.....

£690      Needless to say it will be staying put in the garage for some years to come and junior will be buying NG a twin pram or similar until I win the lottery.   

I have sent out another couple of e-mails for quotes but cannot imagine Dh agreeing to even a £350 spend right now.


Pocket, terrific news, have a great weekend and grow those follies. Love the idea of an ice lolly and waybaloo. NG has eaten a lot of choc biscuits recently as she's found me snacking in the kitchen!!


----------



## louloumay

That's fab news Pocket! Good luck for Tuesday   . Laughed about you reading Heat  , my poor child has spent the past 3 days playing on the DS or watching telly while I've been trying to fix the laptop! 

She's progressed from Peppa Pig to The Legend of Zelda in the 2 months she's been playing on it. Is killing monsters too much for a 4 year old? Probably  

Katie, that's a lot of money! Blimey. Twin pram it is then!  

Chris, Stimming soon!  .  Can't believe I used to think (pre LO) that those children with their noses stuck in some sort of technology had bad mothers. Now I know they have very sensible, nay, GENIUS mothers that need a break and had the forethought to bring some sort of all consuming battery run device to occupy their little angels while they eat in peace  

Lyns


----------



## Katie4

Good luck for today lou x


----------



## louloumay

Thanks Katie, cysts all gone, all go for Monday!


----------



## Katie4

Fantastic news!!!!!! Well done you. Gosh so much going on. We need a daily
Summary of where everyone is! Thrilled for hun. 

X


----------



## Katie4

Chris any sign of af? (she says taking for cover just in case it hasn't!) x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hi girls sorry i havnt posted am going to read back and catch up now

had the x-ray just waiting on the results

so my doggie roxie was spayed on monday morning and things have gone wrong so wrong 
she had a bad bleed yesterday morning and ended up having more surgery they cant find much wrong but think she may have a clotting disorder! shes cant walk and is on morphine, i feel so guilty as i didnt want puppies for her. i dont know if you girls will think im mad but im in such a state and havnt stoped crying. she has been such a strength to me over the last two years and is really part of the family  
feel free to give me a good talking to, i guess i just needed to write this down...


----------



## Katie4

Omg danni, poor you and Roxie, that's terrible.I have two westies who
I adore so no talking to at all.  Just lots and lots of sympathy and hopes for a quick recovery. And as for spaying, you've done the right thing, if you've no plans for breeding it's better that it's done - even though it might not seemit right now. 

My boys are at my sisters because we are goingaway tomorrow and I miss them so much! 

My sis and bil are both vets so just knowing the sort of person it takes try to rss assured she's in good hands- it's not like being a doctor- we all know misrable unfeeling doctors, vets are different, they are bothered! 

Keep us posted won't you ? Big hugs and strength to you both x


----------



## PocketRocket

Dannii - Hope you're feeling a little better    and that your furbaby gets better soon    During this journey we need as many constants and comforts as possible so you don't sound silly at all!

Katie - Are you off to Centre Parcs with the in laws again?! Hope you have a great time and they don't get on your nerves too much   

Chris - How are you? Are you away too? I can't remember sorry    Lots of    to you though!

Lyns -   

Loulou- Great news about those damned cysts    Let us know how you get on tomorrow!

AFM, had a great time at the wedding and it was a lovely distraction    AND DH and I managed perfectly well without a drink    Doing release jab tonight at 1.15am    Feeling very anxious at the moment    but guess that's all part of it hey girls?!   

Lots of Love to you   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh pocket, good luck sweetie, nice time of day to be up?! You setting your alarm or stating up?

Danni- how's Roxie now?


----------



## PocketRocket

Setting alarm Katie although I doubt I'll sleep properly until I've done it!! X


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Pocket - how did it go?  Did you sleep, before or after or was it all too nerve wracking?!

Dannii - how's Roxie?  You're definitely not over reacting, pets are part of the family - must be awful for you. But you were right to get her spayed. Hope she makes a quick recovery.   

Katie - when are you going to CP's?  Which one do you go to? I've often looked at going to Longleat, but just can never quite bring myself to book it - I need a bargain! Any decisions on nursery decs?   

Loulou - so glad the cysts are all gone - onward and upward...! Do you start stimming today?  Which drug are you using?

Lyns - you OK hun?   

Afm, well my AF finally arrived on Thursday night, and all has been fine. My mood has improved, IMO, but my chocolate craving really hasn't, so my diet has gone right out of the window as DH and I polished off half a box of milk tray last night. On top of all that, I've woken in a panic this morning as we forgot to do my injection last night - just done it now but it will be 12 hours late - aaaagh. Hoping it won't matter - guess it will show up in the blood test tomorrow if it does. Given that there's 24 hours between each one, surely a few extra hours won't matter - any advice anyone? So yes, got to go for blood test tomorrow at the clinic - no doubt they'll keep me waiting for ages - Pocket I get so cross about that too, there's no excuse for it.  I've also managed to find another acupuncturist who I think will be much better. Silly really, it's the one my old therapist had recommended, so I should have just gone there in the first place.  So other than the late injection - I'm fine!

Sorry - bit of a long paragraph that - now breathe.   

Hope everyone's having a lovely weekend, looks like it might be sunny here again today so we're meeting friends at the zoo. Trying to buy Holly a new bed too from Aspace but I'm resisting as I don't want to pay £45 for delivery but they won't waive it. Ho hum.

Christine
xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Aaaagh - my calm has turned to stress now about the missed injection. I daren't phone the clinic, but just going to see what the blood test comes back with tomorrow.

I'm so cross with myself and with DH - we weren't even busy/out last night - just Holly went to bed late and we had no dinner so normal routine was out.  Even more annoyed that DH doesn't appear bothered and when he does try to say something he gets it all wrong - i.e. saying I'm on a higher dose this time etc - (that's stimming where we haven't even started yet)  

Oh well.  I just get so cross when things like this happen. Guess the worse scenario is that we have to start again next month.

 

Christine


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - I would be exactly the same about the missed injection as you are now, sweetie    The thing is, these things must happen all the time and I'm sure it's not enough to cancel the tx. Have you searched on here for others who may have missed a jab once before? I know it's a silly thing to say but try not to stress too much (it is a ridiculous thing to say as I would feel exactly the same as you!!   ) as I am sure it won't make a huge difference.      I know you don't want to call the clinic but it might be worth considering if you are going to worry about it all day.

Did the Ovitrelle jab last night at 1am - I didn't think I'd sleep before and after but I must have been tired because I had no trouble falling asleep before and after    That said, I was really anxious about it as my tummy started to play up a bit.. Think I'm just nervous about this whole week really - had a few tears this morning    - you know how it gets to you sometimes.

Hope you're all ok and have got lovely things planned for this bank holiday xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Just about to set off to sherwood forest CP so can't check but Chris put all the details on the ask a pharmacist thread on the hone page x 
Am sure I'll be on later this week but if not good luck pocket and Lou Lou and Chris and little Roxie x


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks all,

I 'fessed up in the end and phoned the clinic - they rang back quite quickly and told me not to worry. Weirdly, they said don't do the injection tonight too - maybe something to do with having them too close together - so glad I phoned as I would have carried on as usual this evening. Think it was all because I was going in for the blood test tomorrow so they can really assess me then once they have the results.  Fingers crossed we'll get a green light for stimming though. 

Katie - have a great time at CP. I hadn't twigged you were going so soon. 

Pocket - how are you feeling today? Big week this week, don't blame you for the tears.   Put on one of your relaxing CD's and take it easy if you can. 

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

So glad you called the clinic Chris and they've put your mind at rest. I suppose it makes sense not doing the jab tonight.. As you say, having had two too close together plus the one tonight may have resulted in a DRing OD ;0) Really hope your bloods go well tomorrow and that you're able to start stimming. Bring on the bloat ;0) that's what I say!! 

Have perked up a little since DH got home from work but been feeling a little flat all day - been out to do the food shop but didn't have the energy or the inclination to do anything else! So LO and I have been pottering around the house for most of today.

Ah well, this time tomorrow I hope that I shall be reporting a decent number of eggs (and sperm, for that matter!!) and will be willing them to fertilise... ;0)

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi girls, sorry I've been a bit AWOL lately, hard to post without the privacy of the laptop. My desktop is in the living room.

Chris, I'm really glad you plucked up the courage to fess up, you would have worried all day and night  , my last tx I forgot the buserelin spray only had a certain amount of doses and used it until it ran out, I convinced myself I hadn't had the right dose for a few days and got so worried, it was awful. I can just imagine how you must have felt Chris  . Phew! no need to worry now

Pocket, good luck hun!   . Hope all goes smoothly for you tomorrow.

Katie, have a fab break won't you   

Dannii, hope you and furbaby are well  

Lyns  

afm, first gonal f jab today. I got in flap because I thought today was sunday and got all confused about whether I was supposed to start today  . Had a good weekend though, went to Paultons Park and although Peppa Pig World was a queuing nightmare for frubbish 30 second rides, the rest of the park was fab and LO amazed us with her bravery on the scary rides  , she didn't bat an eyelid, whilst dp and I screamed our heads off!


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning all,

Thought I'd say hi while I'm waiting for my mum to arrive (she's looking after me/LO whilst DH and I go for EC) and trying to kill time/not think about what lies ahead..! 

Sounds like you had a good weekend Loulou... Fingers Xed the Gonal F works it's magic as it should! Know what you mean about getting confused with the days - I got into a right panic once we'd left the clinic in Friday as the late night jab threw me! As well as the fact the consultant had put me on two extra lower doses of Gonal F to tide me over until the Ovitrelle injection.. But because he hadn't written it down for me (I am blonde and need things explaining) I was about to go ahead and jab a high dose as previous days! Luckily DH saved the day ;0)

Hope it goes well today Chris - let us know what happens.

Katie - Hope you arrived at CP safely and are getting some rest ;0)

Dannii - How's Roxie? Have you heard about your results yet?

Will hopefully be back later with some good news girls...

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Pocket, are you back yet? Dying to know how it went


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi honey :0)

Just got back - after having waited TWO HOURS after our appointment time to be taken down! Anyway, they collected 5 eggs which TBH I'm a bit gutted about. Last cycle they collected 11, so I'm automatically thinking our chances of this working are less than half :0( They said that 3 eggs were too big and mentioned something about follicles collapsing but I might have made that up as I wasn't really listening. 

So I guess I shouldn't be ungrateful for 5 eggs as it's better than none, but still feeling very gutted and incredibly pessimistic :0( Just want to cry...

Anyway, enough of my doom and gloom... How are you? Had a good day?

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Oh hun, bet you were furious at having to wait two hours - I would have been mad!   

But don't despair with 5 eggs - 5 eggs is good - quality not quantity is what's needed. So we'll all   tonight for a good fertilisation rate and then you'll be good to go. I know it's difficult to comprehend why cycles can go so differently, but it's impossible not to compare. So long as you get a BFP at the end of it, then the route there all becomes irrelevant - but I know we all want to maximise our chances by having big numbers as we go through. 

I got 5 eggs with Holly's cycle I think, at the time I had nothing to compare it to but remember being disappointed that we didn't have more. Then on the last cycle I got 5 eggs and I was over the moon with that. It's all about expectation.

Sorry - waffling on now. You're bound to be feeling a bit sore and tender tonight, as well as emotionally bruised. hope you can take it easy, eat lots of chocolate and watch some trash on tv.

I did what you did today - Holly in chair with 2 ice lollies (one healthy, one not) while I read OK magasine!!
I didn't have to use my 'bad parenting' voucher last week at breakfast so cashed it in today!!

Take it easy now.

Christine
xxx

ps. no call from clinic so think my bloods all good, so start stimming tomorrow!


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks Chris  I know you're right. It's so hard not to compare cycles - as much as I don't want to! My fear is (apart from the fertilisation fairy not visiting) that we'll not have as many embryos to choose from.. But as both you and the embryologist said 'it's quality not quantity'. And as DH (who incidentally was a bit despondant also), my mum and my sister said 'you only need one'. I know I know   Still not feeling overly optimistic though as was expecting at least a few more as I'm still relatively young in IVF terms. Ah well, get over it hey?!

Great news about stimming! The 'exciting' part   Loving the bad parenting vouchers.. How many do we get each week do you reckon?! 

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Oh Pocket, it's so hard not to feel negative   . Of course everyone is right, 'you only need one', but it doesn't stop you worrying does it? Don't forget you've just had fairly invasive surgery, and are a bit battered and bruised. You are absolutely going to feel a bit emotional. 5 eggs IS plenty by the way! I know treatment has changed a lot in the last couple of years. The docs are much less interested in numbers and so gear tx towards optimum quality eggs by stimulating less. 

You just don't know what is going to happen, plenty of people get nowhere with tonnes of eggs, and plenty are successfull with only one. Just wait and see    (so much easier said than done I know!  )

Hi everyone  

Good luck with the stimming Chris xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning everyone,

Well, after a hellish wait for the clinic to call (they actually called quite early but you know how a minute feels like an hour in this situation   ), they told me that they had injected 4 eggs (I guess the fifth wasn't mature enough) and all four have fertilised   
They are going to see how they progress and give me a call in the morning to see if some are better than others - in which case ET will be on Friday or if there is little difference then they will suggest we go to blast. Obviously hoping and praying for blast but at the end of the day as long as we have some gorgeous little embies to put back in I really don't mind!
So feeling relieved but that knot in my stomach hasn't quite untied itself yet   

Hope you are all ok? 

Dannii - How are you and furbaby?

Chris - Have you started stimms yet?

Loulou - How is the Gonal F going? When is your next scan?

Katie and Lyns -   

Off for a manicure and pedicure this afternoon.. couldn't have come at a better time   

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Great news Pocket - you must be so relieved. Waiting for that phone call is just agony.

4 from 5 is a great result - shows they (the clinic) know what they're doing!

Oh god - this time in about 10 days I'll be stressing about all this too (hopefully!) I start stimming tonight, assuming I remember.   

My clinic charge about an extra £600 to go to Blast - do yours do the same?  We've never had the option though, thankfully!

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

That's fab pocket   Phew!


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks Chris    As harsh as it sounds, I too hope you'll be stressing about this too in 10 days   

I'm surprised that your clinic charge extra to go to blast - I've never heard of that before... don't think mine do?! I didn't get completely to blast last time but there was no mention of an extra charge. They say that they 'lead the way in blastocyst transfer'    apparently! I noticed that you were at Oxford.. are you still there? I think myy clinic (Herts and Essex) have taken on NHS patients from there if it's more convenient travelwise.

How are you feeling about everything?

Thanks Loulou - my sentiments exactly   

Thanks for your support guys - don't know what I'd do without you   

PR xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Maybe I've read the price guide wrong - but I've double checked and it says Blastocyst - £500!  What else could it mean?

I'm sure I won't have to worry - I'll be pleased if we get 3 good ones to go back, and disappointed if we get less than 2. 

Just about to stab my first Gonal F - DH is just sorting it, 450iu - aaagh - all feels so nerve wracking. Right - here goes....!  It's always such an anti climax - roll on day 8! What's all this nonsense about holding it in for 10 seconds after depressing the plunger - never done that before.   All done - phew! 

Loulou - how are you getting on hun - when is your scan - Monday?

Hi to everyone - Katie hope you're having fun at CP. I keep looking for good deals but the accommodation looks rubbish at Longleat - I like to have lots of bathrooms if we're sharing with people!

 to you all. Love you guys.

Christine
xxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi girls,

Hope you are all well.

pocket - brill news on your littles embs, i am sure they are growing lovely and strong for you and bet they cant wait to get snuggled in !! xx

Chris, all the best with the jabbing, you will do just fine honey and your follies will soon be growing well for E/C. xx

Loulou - all the best for this cycle, sure everything will be fine xx

Katie4, hope you are well and enjoying growing your little baba xx

Dannii - hope roxie is ok, pets bring as much worry as children, but only because we love them so much, i miss my little boxer so much...hopefully after our hols we will be getting a puppy, little man is driving us mad for one!!


so sorry if i have missed anyone out, i havent been on for a while as we have had a mad weekend...first drinking session for ages and i had terrible hangover Monday  .....did cheer me up though.

feeling a little lost at the moment to be honest but i am sure things will get better, bit in limbo land until i can get my follow up consultation...so bloody angry that i have gotta pay for it though AAARRRGGGHHHH

Lyns

xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Welcome back Lyns - glad you had a good boozy session - hope you didn't get up to mischief.   

I'm amazed that you have to pay for the follow up appointment, and I'd be furious too. (doesn't take much these days though.) Will they not include it as part of your last treatment?  I thought that was the norm for most clinics. It just shows how much they all vary.

I'm just trying to sort out a camping trip for this weekend - anyone know any good sites in the south west? Tempted just to stay at home under my duvet - I"m shattered. I have a day 'off' tomorrow as Holly going to the seaside (well, Weston Super Mare) with the inlaws. Not sure what I should do, usually end up in Ikea and instantly regret it!   

Christine
xx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi there,

Pocket - are you OK?  Is ET today?  Good luck if it is, hope it all goes smoothly for you. 

I'm fine - although starting to get paranoid about what I'm eating etc. Does everyone else binge on protein/eggs/milk whilst stimming?  I'm fine with it all generally, but I normally only drink skimmed milk, so should I be moving to semi - just worried about putting weight back on, but don't care about that if I get a BFP!

Hi to everyone. Hope you've all got a good weekend lined up.

 

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning everyone,

Was just going to post when I got your message Chris   

No ET today - all four embryos are still growing well so we're going to blast   No guarantees I know but you have to be grateful for small mercies don't you    I'm going back in on Sunday at 9.30 so hoping that means I'll be one of the only ones there and won't have to wait around for 2hrs   

Chris - I haven't ever really followed any diet tips whilst stimming - I just make sure I get my 5 fruit and veg a day and cut out alcohol and caffeine.. although this time around I have still been sneaking in a cheeky coffee once a day    but drink decaf tea anyway so just carried on as normal with that. 

How is everyone else?   

LO is poorly at the moment... his molars are coming through and he has always been a complete 'bloke' when it comes to his gnashers    but he's got a cough and sore throat too (not sure if the teeth can cause that - too much dribble?!! It's EVERYWHERE   ) so I've not had a decent night's sleep for days - what with that and worrying    Plus my ovaries are still a bit tender - can anyone else remember how long they are sore for!? I'm picking LO up more than usual as he's very clingy and I can feel it pulling down there    DH has been working solidly and long hours over the last couple of days which adds to the exhaustion as you can't share the LO duties! He hasn't been here for the phonecalls (luckily Mum has) and he was around today for the 'decision call' - he even missed that because he was putting the rubbish out    I suppose he was doing something useful though   

Hark at me whinging on. Shut up woman   

Lots of Love to you all - at least the rotten weather is perking up   

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

That's fantastic Pocket - great news - about the embies I mean, not DH missing the calls!

Putting rubbish out is one of my most hated jobs, along with filling up with petrol.

Sunday's a great day for a transfer - the clinic will be nice and quiet, and like you say, they might even run on time.

Poor LO - teeth are such a bad design. Bound to feeling miserable and clingy - might be worth checking out the sore throat before the weekend though, i.e. before you have to rely on out of hours GP!

Afraid I can't really remember the sore ovary bit - I've always had day 2 or 3 transfers so one pain gets distracted with another.

Enjoy the weekend. Hope you get some rest.   

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Hi girls, still having computer problems so struggling to keep up with everyone's news.

DP back at any moment, so just a quicky to say yippee!!! and poor LO to Pocket, good luck to Chris, Hi to Lyns and Dannii hope you're both feeling better, and hope you had a great time to Katie.    

Scan for me tomorrow


----------



## chrisgib

Wow Loulou - are you on day 8 already for stimms, or does your clinic do it differently?  I thought your scan would be Monday, I was trying to work it out this morning!  Good luck for tomorrow, looking forward to hearing your news. Are you feeling any effects?

My scan is next Wednesday.

Scorchiing here today - lovely. Just as the schools go back...!

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

I know what you mean Chris - I think once you start stimming time seems to fly by  Hot here today too - always the way before I return to work as you say  But at least I'm only part time now!

Let us know how you get on tomorrow Loulou 

*Warning* - a moan coming up.... 

Had a difficult day today  Lack of sleep and the stress of this week took its toll on me and all it took was a snidey comment from DH about my driving and we both had a row.. we got home and I stormed off in the car and just drove around aimlessly for an hour  He kept asking me what was wrong  Really?! Are you taking the p*ss?!! I've been pumping myself full of drugs for the past four months which have inevitably been playing havoc with my hormones and emotional stability, trying to accept that it might all be a waste of time as I watch my friends pop out their number two babies with ease, whilst maintaining a home and marriage, looking after an LO who is poorly and clingy at the moment and to top it all, I am plain exhausted!! Both mentally and physically!!          Sorry girls - just had to rant there  We're 'friends' now but I think I may be need to explain my reasons for flipping out in a little more detail at some point 

On another note - can I ask you girls for your opinion? I have several very good/best friends who obviously know about our situation. I've not seen one of my best friends (who I also work with) that much over the last few weeks as we have both been busy, but she was fairly up to speed with our cycle. 
Anyway, I texted to see if she was free last week but she was going away and said she was back Tuesday. I replied saying that I might be going in for EC that day but would be in touch. I appreciate that she has two LOs and doesn't always have time to herself, but she didn't even reply to my text to wish me luck or anything  She can be particularly ditzy and is rubbish at replying to texts generally, but I didn't hear from her at all after that.. I saw her by freak occurence today as she was driving behind me (unless she was planning on popping in after work but she didn't tell me that). I know that she didn't mean to be nasty or that there is any malice in it at all but I was just a bit hurt  I am particularly sensitive and emotional as the moment (you know  ) and she said 'I feel like I've not seen you for ages! What are you up to this weekend?' I said 'Well, having our embryos put back in!' Don't get me wrong, I know others have their own lives and our tx doesn't rule their life as it does ours but a couple of other friends have been so thoughtful over sending the odd text saying 'How's it going/what's happening/how are you' - it just makes you feel better.

Anyway, just wondered if you'd feel the same or if I am being totally irrational 

Sorry about my whining and moany post - what a delightful read for a Friday night!!!

Thanks for listening girls 

PR xxx


----------



## Katie4

Pocket,    great news about your little soon to be blasts...all emotional outbursts are totally acceptable - (will fill you in on mine - an absolute corker which was not limited to an audience of just DH!  ) and as for your friend, are you sure she got your text? It doesn't sound like it - even this week I've had texts - quite important ones like yours which have literally slipped my mind for days. Or, my iphone sometimes doesn't show them all if several come in at once and I don't realise until I accidentally search through later on. NOt trying to make excuses but surely she wouldn't have asked you if she'd known or woudl have said "OMG of course, how fabulous"? Either way you are entitled to be hurt but maybe that eases it a little? 

Chris and Loulou glad treatment is going so far so good  

Lyns - how are you love?

Aurelia- you still with us?

Danni, how is Roxie? One of mine has been ill while I've been away (he was staying with 2 vets for God's sake!) and is currently in a vet hospital on a drip and antibiotics and anti sickness meds.   Went to see him today, he's so sad. Poor mite. Our other dog was staying with him for 1 day to see if it helped him but we had to bring him home today. Think I sat in dog wee as well while fussing him...  

CP was great, very relaxing this time, in laws brought almost everything I'd asked for  and NG was on amazing form so I got to rest more than on previous hols. Plus we dared to vary her routine (having had a child not sleep for over a year our routine is our saviour!) so she didn't have a daytime nap one day and went to the disco twice!   My meltdown though was spectacular. I'd been feeling weepy as I'd been thinking about my Dad (both my parents died from cancer) and my Dad was diagnosed when I was pregnant and died before NG reached 6 months and as the new baby is due at a similar time it suddenly came flooding back and I started to get a bit stressed and then DH's mum was nice to me and I teared up and then DH's Dad made a sly comment about not buying bread and sandwiches for lunch and I burst into tears and could not stop  Literally for 20+ mins  and then all day I just kept welling up. Ah well. What can you do? The in laws have known me for 13 years...can't get rid of me now  

Right off to bed, ah my own bed.....


----------



## louloumay

Another quicky, still in stealth post mode while DP is in the room watching telly.

Pocket, totally relate to the meltdown and would be very miffed if my friend (or sister  ) apparently didn't give a sh*t. I'm sure she does though. Good luck for ET hun      

Katie, relate to yours too, my dad died  when LO was 6 months too and am still prone to the odd teary episode  , glad you had a great time other than that  

Chris, tomorrow is day 6, maybe EC next Mon or Tues. I'm a bit bloated, that's all though. How are you feeling with it all?  

Lyns, Dannii


----------



## louloumay

Hi everyone, quick update....................had the scan. Better than last txt, both ovaries are responding (as opposed to only the left last time), the consultant said he was 'hopeful'   Sounds good to me, my last clinic were more 'unlikely'  than hopeful  

Have a lovely weekend you lot!


----------



## PocketRocket

Great news Loulou!!!

PR xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Brilliant news loulou. Well done you and your ovaries!!! 

My furbaby has pancreatitis and is a v poorly boy. Just praying he turns a corner tomorrow. Broke my heart today. The dogs were my mum's pride and joy and when she died we moved into a house so we could have them. since having ng it's been hard, not because we babied them, but more because I felt guilty about how little dedicated time they got/get and then something like this happens and you realise how precious they are. 

Deep breaths - sorry know youve all a lot going on and humans and babies especially are of course more important but hope you dont mind my sharing. 


K x


----------



## Katie4

Pocket have you had any updates today or will you just be told tomorrow? 

Really hope it all goes smoothly. Will you have two put back if that's an option? 

X x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Katie - sorry to hear your furbaby is poorly    Fingers Xed there is improvement tomorrow    I guess it's harder because they were your mum's too..    How is Bump progressing?   

AFM, no news today... they don't check on Day 4 as apparently they can't really tell much from looking on this day - tomorrow is the the day I guess    Feeling a little nervy about ET but that's natural I suppose. If any of the embies have got to blast then the clinic's policy is to put only one back in due to my age/success rate of blasts. If they haven't got to blast, then I guess maybe two will be put back in. Last time we almost got to blast with two embies (I think they call them 'morulas'??! sp?!   ) and the consultant said that had ET been in the afternoon they would have reached blastocyst stage, but they put two back in regardless. Glad they did    Both DH and I feel a bit weird about them just putting one back in - even if it is a blast!!

xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Gosh all v exciting and of course nerve wracking. How's the little one's teeth? who is having him tomorrow? 

Hope you have a quiet night x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hey girlies 
sorry ive been away

pocket fab news on those little embies, your nearly pupo! 

katie i completley understand, its heartbreaking, hope he gets well soon

lou lou woo hoo! keep doing your thing ovaries

Chris how are you getting on lovely? 

hope your ok lyns  

sorry its short and sweet, on my phone and cant read back..

furbaby update
rox ended up having an emergency op on tues, her stitches opened up and her spleen and bowel fell out! vet said either the shock or anesthia (?) would kill her... after a long stay in doggie hospital she is home and on the mend. not out of the woods yet but heres hoping 
thankyou all for your kind words especially when lots of important things are happening in your own lives

still no word back from the hosp about my x-ray, no news is good news right? 

nite x


----------



## Katie4

Oh danni, what a nightmare but what a string dog you have on your hands!!! Know she's still recovering but imagine once she's back to good health she'll be giving you trouble for years to come. Bet you are exhausted. As for the X-ray, I think it's typical to wait about 2 weeks for a report to get to your gp but they may have it sooner or can call for the results so maybe make an appointment or call your consultant at the hosp? You should be able to get hold of their secretary easily. Fingers crossed it's all clear. 

Just came on to wish pocket all the best for today. Hope the transfer is on time and the special experience it should be x


----------



## Katie4

Strong dog...no idea what a string dog is.


----------



## louloumay

Good luck today Pocket, can't wait to hear how it goes!     . How's LO?

Katie, awful news about your doggy, I hope he pulls through  , any news today?  Ikwym about our  pets getting less attention when our babies are born. My cat was about 20 when LO came along and died when she was 2, she didn't get nearly as many cuddles as she did before and I felt ever so guilty. It couldn't be helped though. I think animals understand the difference between a baby and an adult and accept it, my cat was definitely much gentler with LO than anyone else.

Dannii, glad Roxy is much better. I'm sure the hospital will be in touch soon.

Chris, hope you've had a great time camping, weather is rubbish here today, hope it's better where you are.

xx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Oh girls this will give you a laugh, rox was dx with adhesians on her ovary  
of all the dogs it had to be mine, well at least we can sympathise with each other... lol

lou lou what a grand old age your cat got to


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Dannii - Oh your poor doggie! It did make me smile about her illness    At least you can see the irony in it   

Katie - Hope you're ok   

Chris - How is stimming going? What time is your scan on Wed?   

Loulou - Hope your ovaries are keeping up the good work   

Lyns - Hope you have recovered from your hangover   

AFM, I have one blast on board    hopefully snuggling down as I post        Feel a little uneasy at having only one on board as opposed to two - somehow I have always felt that would increase our chances, but I guess they know what they are doing    The other three are still going strong so waiting for a call tomorrow to let me know if we will be able to freeze any.
Only had to wait 15 mins for ET too    Saw three of the couple who were in for EC at the same time as me on Tues    

OTD Tues 13th Sep... geez, that seems ages away!

Having a lazy day at home... trying to make DH wait on me hand and foot but seeing as I have asked for a cup of tea and biscuits ten minutes ago and there is no sign.. I'd better get nagging   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh pocket glad it went so smoothly. 13th is no time at all. Is it a work day for you? 

And danni, what can I say?! Lol (in a nice way) poor roxi!


----------



## Dannii_Doots

I cant stop laughing 

congrats on your perfect blast pocket, roll on the 13th eh 

katie think im going to chase up the results tomorrow, i havnt been a nagging patient in ages 

having a lazy day today, eating for ireland though


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks Katie    
Yes, typically the 13th is a work day for me    Still, got to be grateful that I've managed to get all my appointments during the summer hols (and have the embryo put back in literally the day before I return to work!) 
Not quite sure what we are going to do (if we get that far of course - still feeling very cautious about it all   ) whether we'll save the test for when I get home or if curiosity will get the better of us and we will do it that morning    Not sure I would be able to handle bad news then do a day at work looking after other people's kids    Still... I guess we'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it     

Dannii - I would ring up and chase your results for sure.. gone are the days when the NHS were able to keep track of results and who needs contacting - my mum has struggled recently to get a set of results from her hospital as no one is allowed to give them to her over the phone/can find them/haven't had them printed out or something ridiculous like that   So get nagging, girl!

xxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Pocket, great news about your blast! Keeping everything xed   

Dannii, Doggy's dx made me smile. Funnily enough my cat, who incidentally was the runt of the litter, had cysts in her womb and had a hysterectomy when she was only about a year old. No wonder she was always a bit mental  . Can't believe she lasted so long, she did end up with only one eye though!

xx


----------



## Katie4

George (dog) has chewed through his drip and is trotting rather than dragging himself across the floor- think we may have turned a corner. I am so relieved.


----------



## PocketRocket




----------



## Katie4

Thank you. That is so sweet. I'm just all smiley. Good job no more holidays for another year, my sensitive pooch can just have his little mundane life with us- fingers crossed x


----------



## PocketRocket

There's a lot to be said for mundane, ordinary, everyday life Katie!    I long for that    ... preferably with two kids in tow...


----------



## chrisgib

Hi everyone,

Goodness, i don't know where to start.  I hasten to add that none of this is in priority order!

Katie - so pleased that George is OK.

Pocket - hope that Blast is settling in nicely - have you named 'it'?! Hope the others will be good to freeze, although you won't need them except for No.3,4 and 5! As for your 'friend' I reckon Katie must be right, she can't have received your text (I hope). As for DH - hope he's cottoned on now as to what you're having to deal with. Men!   

Dannii - poor Roxie has had a tough time too, thank goodness she won't have realised what's going on. Get calling that hospital too, you wouldn't hang around if they were tests for Roxie would you?!

Loulou - glad the scan went well, do you have another one booked? 

Lyns - you OK?   

I've had a mixed weekend. We didn't go camping, as friends were too 'tired'!   So had a takeaway curry on Friday night and instantly got food poisoning so was up all Friday night and felt rough most of Saturday. Much better today thankfully and it's been lovely and sunny here today so don't feel like I missed out on too much. Quite glad I didn't have to worry about putting my drugs in a communal fridge on a campsite!    I wish I got more symptoms on the stimming bit - I don't feel any different. 

DH busy cleaning the kitchen now - I'm sure he does it to make me feel guilty! I'm a rubbish housewife, place is a pit! 

Just been to see One Day at the cinema too - was a bit disappointed, wouldn't have followed it if I hadn't read the book first. Nice to go out though, especially as I went with a girlfriend at 5.30 while DH did tea/bedtime - bit treat.    Shouldn't moan about him really....  

Hope everyone has a good week lined up.

Christine
xxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls,

Brill news pocket, i am sure little bean will snuggle in safe and warm and make him/herself at home for the next 9 months,    xx

Katie, hopefully George is on the mend now, my dog meant the world to me so i completely understand how much worry we have with them xx

Chris, Loulou and Dannii, hope you are are well xx

AFM - had yet another night out last night with work friends so once again i am having that lazy Sunday feeling !!
Had my follow up appointment arrive but its not till middle of October, although its a bit away it may be for the best as we have got a bit coming up in next few weeks.  hubby is taking me away for the night this month as a belated anniversary treat.  Our embryo transfer was the same date as out 10th anniversary so we didnt do anything special cus i just wanted to rest.....fat lot of good that did ha !!
Then we are going away for 4 nights early Oct.  We have decided to go totaly mad on our hols and eat and drink what we want before all this crap starts again !!!

still not sure where to go from here but hoping things will be a lot clearer once the follow up is over.
I am still having a few bad days but getting a bit better and i am so so in love with my little boy that i really do need to count my blessings.

Today is a good day but tomorrow i will probably feel sh*t again   

Lots of love,

Lyns
xxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Lyns - Sounds like you are in a really good place right now    Great to hear that you've got some fab things planned    You enjoy yourself and make the most of it!

Katie - How's your furbaby doing?   

Dannii - Any luck with the hospital? And Roxi?   

Loulou - How are you?   

Chris - Glad you had a good weekend! Not long until your scan!   

AFM, back to work today    Hate being there. Hate my job. Hate leaving my baby with someone else. Hate everything today!!!    Feel as though I have far other pressing matters to deal with at present    Can't stop stressing about what we will do if this doesn't work    That's not very positive I know but that's the mood I am in today    Keep feeling twinges in my ovaries and AF like back ache and pains    Guessing that might not be good.. or it could be that I am totally imagining it    
Forgotten how much this 2WW f*cks with your head!!   

Give me a good talking to girls   

Hope you are all ok.

Pocket xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh and the clinic called to say that we haven't got any snowbabies :0( 

A couple had progressed but not enough to the standard that they would freeze :0(


----------



## Katie4

Right PR well this blast was the best of the gang and is in your lovely womb getting all snuggly (hence the twinges - seriously way too soon to even think about the AF witch) and it's so much better for them in their proper environment than in a petri dish. And work is vile, we all need a lottery win, I'll be in the same boat tomorrow.   

And George took a big backward step today, vomited again, had to be rushed back to the practice for injections.    He's still just about moving forward from where he was and he's old and has been v ill but this is so hard. I didn't go and see him at my sisters because I didn't want him to feel abandoned when I left. Good job really as when I was due to get there she was rushing him in. Let's hope for a better day tomorrow.

Sorry for the me/dog post. 

Hope you are all OK x


----------



## chrisgib

Pocket - rubbish news from the clinic - but you don't need any more as you have the best one on board which is snuggling in nicely, and it will just save all those awkward decisions in the future about destroying them.      

Don't blame you for feeling like that at the beginning of term, particularly when 2ww is messing with your head. Grass is always greener though - you've got a great part time job that will fit in with school when yours start. Having just spent the last hour doing a rubbish application form for a shop floor job at John Lewis (I need the discount and it would increase the hourly rate somewhat) I'd give my right arm to get a proper job now, well maybe not now, but in about 12 months. It's such a short time that we want to be out of it to be home with our babes, we need maternity leave of about 3 years I reckon. Might have to move to Sweden. Sorry Pocket - you probably didn't want to hear all this - I've spent this morning trying to convince a teacher friend not to jack it in for all these same reasons!

Katie -   Poor poor George. Don't apologise - it all sounds awful. Hope tomorrow brings better news.

 to you all.

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Yey!! We are the women who hate working!!!    Come on lottery wins!


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks girls   

Katie - Hoping George makes a recovery   

Chris - Don't move to Sweden    Good point about a proper job - you're right, I should really be grateful that  have one.. I love the people I work with and even the kids are all right sometimes    Just hate the having to be/do/pick up/drop off/no life for two days/rush thing!!!!!!

Right - early night for me.. might listen to Zita    Even hubby says to me now 'Ooh, shall we go to bed and...listen to Zita?!'      Oh us infertile couples are just soooo rock n roll!!!!!!!!    

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Bloody hell, that's two big posts I've lost now. I can only manage a potted version now............tired.

Pocket, crappy news about snowbabies but like the others said you've got the strong one in your snuggly womb.     

Chris, I worked in John Lewis for a few months in between jobs about 10 years ago, discount was great but hate to put you off, I did actually lose the will to live after a very short while  

Katie, so sorry about George. Fingers xed he hangs in there  

Lyns you sound like you are feeling a bit better  

Dannii  

AFM it was LO's first day of infants school today  , I held it together


----------



## Katie4

Omg!!! Well dOne loulou!! What a day. How did your LO manage? Ng isn't good with change (know the feeling!) 

Up because I can't sleep for worrying about G - he's got a grumbling tummy had diarrhoea and is sad. My fur baby.


----------



## louloumay

Aw Katie, how is he today?  

Back in a bit..........school run


----------



## louloumay

Right, I'm back! Not just from the school run, one new hard drive and upgrade to windows 7 later, I have finally fixed my laptop and can post in peace  

Well, there IS a lot to catch up on.................

Are you feeling any better after your relaxing Zita filled night Pocket? On the subject of work.......I HATE IT TOO! I've managed to put it off for almost 5 years but I've got no choice now. We desperately need the money. I've got my childminding registration sorted but the woman whose child I was planning to look after has changed her mind   (excuse the pun) and is thinking she might get an au pair ( ), considering I only registered to look after her child in the first place and it has cost me around £300, I am pretty miffed. I'll have to advertise now  . And if she is happy for a unregistered 17 year old looking after her baby and probably shagging her idiot bloke then good luck to her. HA!

Sorry about that, descended into a rant. Seriously though Pocket, you're bound to be feeling a bit stressed, you DO have much more important things to think about other than work and it's natural to think a bit negatively. It's a self preservation strategy. I know it's hard work during the TWW but as Katie said it's far to early to think about AF and twinges could well be a positive sign  

As for being a housewife Chris, I ABSOLUTELY HATE HOUSEWORK! And cooking. Our house looks very 'lived in'   How's the stimming? Awful to have had food poisoning. Was it rice? That can be really nasty. Good luck with John Lewis, I know I said I lost the will to live but that was largely offset by all the yummy comfort food I could suddenly afford to buy from Waitrose!  

Lyns, I hope your hubby really spoils you on your holiday. You deserve it. Stuffing your face and getting plastered sounds like a great idea!  

Dannii, have you been on to the hospital yet?  

Katie, poor George. How old is he? It's so hard seeing an animal suffer and not being able to explain to them what's happening  . Has he perked up since last night? Hope so  . As for LO's day at school, she didn't bat an eyelid, completely unfazed. It was only a half day, her first full day is Thursday. I expect she'll come home a bit tired after doing 6 hours. We all went to a family gathering on Saturday and all the women there asked LO if she was looking forward to school and then acknowledged that I might find it difficult. DP overheard this and asked why  , he genuinely couldn't understand why I might feel a bit sad. Pillock. Why are some men so emotionally retarded?  

Right, I'd better go and sort this house out, or shall I watch daytime TV, or have a nap  

Scan tomorrow


----------



## Katie4

Chris so sorry hun, missed entirely that you were poorly, how dreadful. 

Loulou, Dh could not get this morning why NG was crying when we left her but then in the car said it was v noisy in there! She's fine now though, just popped back to drop off her sandwich as they had changed the dinner rota and put the one thing she hates on today!! FFS they had tuna pasta on the last friday nursery ran, how can they do it again?! It's not due till next week. And there are no alternatives. Thank God one of the staff told me when I got there. I am impressed. I think you are doing amazingly and here's hoping you manage another 5 years off work minding a child of your own x

Must do some work, 

K 

PS George is 12 and a half so for westies, old but not very old. More of the same today...sorry, know my dog's health isn't everyone's cup of tea!


----------



## louloumay

No need to apologise Katie, not to me anyway. And I'm sure most people understand how upsetting it is when a pet is poorly   

Hope ng enjoyed her sarnie, speaking of which, grumpy LO needs to eat.


----------



## Katie4

Oh she did- not sure I like the new room nursery staff- far too honest. Apparently she loved her sainsburys prawn Mayo sarnie and ate it no problems unlike my home made spag bol (and absolute favourite at home!) which they have to "encourage" her to eat! 

They all think I'm bonkers anyway, in the week before we went away I left her coat and bag one night, then dropped her"book" (where they record sleeps, eating and other stuff) on the drive at nursery so another mum handed it in and tonight I've nearly walked off with s little boys coat !! Lol it was under ngs but still! 

Oh and Chris I've come out in sympathy with your food poisoning...not puking thank god but well you know the other! Must be the worry about George or possibly the sausage roll I had yesterday - from a nice bakery!! 

Right so latest on the pooch- he ate half a chicken breast at lunch apparently- so now I'm anticipating a massive relapse! If he does have a relapse then they will x ray him tomorrow and do stomach biopsies, as it might be cancer and well, I'll cross that bridge if I have to. 

Let's talk about other stuff.....

Loulou what time is the scan? How you feeling otherwise? regarding the childminding, people will bite your hand off. Can you do little ones? Am imagining a school teacher asking you to have their LO just in term time- how fantastic would that be?

Chris, how are You? 

Pr- working week over now...lucky you! What's your plans? 

Lyns, make the most of your hols and this little break if you can. October will be here in a flash. Glad you are getting away for your anniversary, sounds blissful. 

Aurelia and danni - hi lovelies x


----------



## chrisgib

Loulou - you're so brave - I would have definitely blubbed with the new school etc. Did you have another scan today - sorry I've lost track, too self absorbed! Welcome back with the new laptop - you sound all energised.  

Katie - hope George is OK tomorrow. You too - that'll teach you to go to a posh bakers - stick to Greggs! Think nursery might be right about the bonkers thing, the evidence speaks for itself.    As for LO - I'm well impressed that she'll eat a prawn sandwich - mine will only eat jam sandwiches and won't try anything new - so frustrating.

Pocket - hope you can forget about work until next week now, or do you have loads of marking/prep to do? I did my last day childminding today, bit concerned now about having zero money of my own. 

Lyns - how are you feeling today?    All your talk of nice weekends and time with friends reminds me of what life is like outside of treatment. I tend to binge on all the things I give up - like caffeine and alcohol!  You sound quite relaxed about it all, which is a great place to be if venturing in to it all again. Or, like me, do you have occasional days feeling relaxed about it, then loads stressing about it.   

Dannii - how's Roxie? Any news from the hospital?

I've just done my last jab before the scan tomorrow - can't do any more now. Scan is at 10am - although might be midday by their timings.   1,2,3 calm.......   The trauma of my last cycle came flooding back yesterday as I went to babysit for a friend who was in hospital with an ectopic. She's desperate for No2 and had a fertility appointment later this week which now has to be cancelled.  Poor girl didn't even know she was pregnant.  I did feel for her though - her son didn't give her half the cuddles that Holly gave me when I came home. Not sure he noticed she'd been away for 3 nights!

Had a weigh in tonight at fat club - amazingly lost half a pound - only eaten cake and biscuits this week - just shows what giving up alcohol does to you! Finally lost a whole stone - should have done that a month ago but I've been faffing around being bad. Only another 2 stone to go. I did think that stimming would make me put on pounds though, bit disappointed really that i haven't got lots of heavy follicles!! 

Hey ho.

Better go and talk to DH.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi lovelies,

Loulou - I think you're very brave about LO going to big school    I'm dreading F going already and he's only 17 months!!! Your post about the woman who let you down re: childminding made me laugh    I agree with Katie about advertising to mind school teachers kids.. was going to suggest you do the same    My childminder does that too. Both me and another child's parents are teachers and she only charges for term time - I know it means less £ for you during the hols but it is a massive attraction for us teachers!! 
Also with you on the men = emotionally retarded front    DH (bless him - I love him so much but he is such a dick sometimes   ) is totally missing the point this week.. not supposed to do any heavy lifting as you know atm so trying to keep lifting LO to a minimum. Hard when I'm lifting him in and out the car (I only have a 3dr too), bathing him, etc etc. So, on Sunday when I'd had ET, he had a go at me for picking up a basket of washing (it really wasn't heavy), but then doesn't think twice when he mentions that he is going to work at 6am and coming home at 9.30pm today... so this means I get LO ready for childminder's (I am having to chase/wrestle him at every available opportunity at the mo), lift him in/out the car to/from childminder's, go to work all day, go tutoring, pick F up from childminder's (lifting again), get him home, bath him, have a play (play = playfight), put him down to bed.... now, excuse me if I am sounding a little precious/diva like - but does that schedule not involve considerably more lifting than carrying a few towels and pants?!!!!?       So I made him come home early, collect F and feed/bath him whilst I was tutoring    
And he poisoned me on Saturday by giving me milk in my tea that was two days out of date    I threw up straight after and made him feel suitably guilty. Not so much emotionally retarded as just retarded then   

Gosh - I went right into one there, didn't I?! Sorry girls   

Katie - Hope your pooch is feeling better    Hope you're not seeing as much of your loo as you have been either    I found that my tummy was extra sensitive during pg so maybe that hasn't helped. No real plans for rest of this week - catching up with my friend who hadn't texted me (she HAD received my text, it turned out.. she had misread it and thought EC was this week instead of last week.. I got an email apologising    so all is forgiven   ) tomorrow, acupuncture on Thursday, DH has a day off on Friday and Sunday so family days planned then. I too am impressed that NG will eat a prawn sandwich too! F isn't fussy about majority of foods but will only eat Marmite sarnies   

Chris - Good for you on the weight loss girl!!! And best of luck for your scan tomorrow. Hope you aren't waiting too long    Take a book.. that's what I did waiting for EC - good bloody job too! At least it takes your mind off waiting a little bit and sort of keeps you calm   

Lyns - Hope you are keeping up that positive spirit      

Dannii - Hope you have been a moany patient and chased up that hospital   

AFM, yes very relieved that my working week is over! I love the fact you guys all remember the days I work!! Even my sister forgets    Was a good distraction from the hellish 2WW but it's still on my mind every second. Just keep rubbing my tum and asking my guardian angel to help us out        Don't feel any different..    It's weird to think that if our precious blast HAS implanted, then it may have done it by now.. but we have to wait another week to find out   

Going to listen to Zita now before DH gets back from work - us listening to it together last night didn't work    DH dozed off within two minutes and promptly spent the following 20 minutes snoring.... hardly 'relaxing' for me    I do love him really      

Sorry about my long waffly post    Making the most of having the evening to myself   

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Good luck today Chris!     

My scan is this morning too     

Got to rush...........love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Good luck Loulou and Chris! Will be thinking of you both and waiting for your updates :0)

Feeling crap about everything today :0( No more twinges (think they wereleft over from EC), no bloating, feel fine except very irritable.. Must be PMT :0( Ah well onwards and upwards - must keep busy...

PR xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Pocket - don't give up yet. I had no symptoms with Holly during the 2ww - it means nothing.   Do keep busy, and no early testing (Pot/black   ).  BTW - loved your man rant - I think any one of us could have written that!! It's so reassuring that I haven't married the only emotional retard!

I'm just back from my scan - not great news, but not disastrous. Only 5 follicles, 2 big ones measuring 23, and then  the others at 10,13 and 14. Waiting for a call now to decide what to do - whether to collect on Friday and go for the biggies, or to gamble and see if the others catch up a bit, but that would probably mean losing the big ones. Annoyingly there was only one on my left side - I can't remember which tube I had removed - do you think that could be the reason?  Saying that, my left has always been a bit rubbish.  On a plus side, the clinic was quiet and they were running on time - that's a first!   

Good luck Loulou - hope yours are growing well.

Change the subject - how's George and Roxie doing?

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Chris, thats still good news, tough call though. When do you hear from the clinic? My instinct would be to go for the two big ones now - but what do I know?! 

Loulou hope your scan goes well sweetie

PR it's too early for symptoms just give yourself a bit longer will you (or just imagine some like i did! Lol)

Love the men rantings- a family friend (male) always makes me laugh as he turns it on it's head and says women have to give out a minimum number of boll-ckings per day regardless! It's particularly funny as he's now at home having recently retired and his two sons have left home so he's getting the lot!

Danni and x ray news? And Roxie? 

Just been to visit George at my sisters, was initially shocked by how ill he still is but once you get over the shock of his tail being down and him being shaved in various spots he was actually much better and coping v well with what is quite a noisy and chaotic house (one toddler, one baby, three cats and laminate floor throughout!) and he put up on hell of a fight when it was time for his meds. He also ate three little portions of chicken while I was there and didn't puke. So, the plan is to get him off the injections and onto all oral meds and I get to bring him home on Friday so long as he keeps as he is or improves. Our house is quite calm and chilled so I think he will be even better at home. Hope so. Thanks so much for asking.


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Katie - Glad George sounds a little better. It's bound to help him being back at home    It works for humans, being in your own environment.. so why shouldn't it work for doggies?!   

Chris - Glad your scan went ok    Have you heard from the clinic yet? Which decision do you think you would prefer them to make? Or do you have a say in it too? My left ovary doesnt seem to be as productive as my right either so we're the same there    I had more follicles on that side but they collected most of my eggs from the larger ones on my right - so the right is the way forward apparently   

Loulou - How did you get on today?   

Lyns -   

AFM, was busy this morning which kept the tears from falling... but at home this afternoon I fell apart    Had a really bad day today   Convinced it hasn't worked, can't be that lucky again, AF is on its way, should accept my lot and that's it       Been a terrible mother to F - crying constantly and not played with him, just felt sorry for myself all afternoon    Saw three single magpies today too so that obviously mean we're doomed    Honestly, I have sent myself round the twist this afternoon - I felt like I was going completely mad    I've been lucky enough never to suffer from depression but I thought I may hit have hit the beginnings of it a couple of hours ago   Phoned my mum who gave me a good talking to and now DH has arrived home so hopefully he will do the same    
Keep thinking that if it doesn't work, well, we will deal with it and go again after a break (and saving up   ) but then deep down inside part of me is saying 'FFS.. I don't WANT to go thru this again, I want THIS TIME to work!'   

I guess fate will decide for us      

Sorry for my mentalist rantings girls - sometimes helps to write it down   

Pocket Rocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Pocket, sweetie, I say this with genuine love and affection, you are not mystic meg, you really don't know it hasn't worked. No one does.  you're bound to be anxious and worried, it's the most important thing in your life next to your little man - however you are pupo and you can't prove that otherwise. If this hasn't worked there will be time for tears but for now, you really could be worrying for nothing. 

Sending you hugs and strength and permission to not beat yourself up - give dh a cuddle, grab some choc and put zita on. 

Lots of love

Katie x x


----------



## PocketRocket




----------



## sanfrancisco

Pocket-don't post on here often but read daily.Chin up,keep positive,believe me I know how difficult it is and the guilt that our lo's suffer as a result and how much it consumes our lives.It has worked before,there is no reason for it not to work again.As you can see from signature we are still on our journey for no2,but I'm much older than you-you're a spring chicken!!!xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks for taking the time to post SanFran    Your words mean a lot   

Good Luck in your journey too      

PR xxx


----------



## lyns76

Bless you pocket, you sound just like i was during the TWW, its the worst two weeks we can go through i reckon but just try and stay positive and dont read into symptoms ( i know its hard)
On my cycle that worked the only symptoms i had was just the bloody same that i get everyone month and i cried not stop because i was adament that it hadnt worked because i had my usual pmt and period pains.  I could not believe it when i saw those two lovely lines.
I know how hard it is honey and like you at times i feel like its distracting me from my little boy but we are human and this is so emotionaly draining, they have bad days too dont forget !!!

I will be keeping everything crossed for you and all being well it will turn out to be good news   

I am in a pretty positive state at the moment but like Chris said tomorrow i could be a crumberling wreck again, i am having good and bad days but just trying to keep myself busy.
joined the gym last week as i really want to loose a stone and get fit again and we have a few breaks coming up so it is helping.

I also have to think that although hubby as some sperm issues which is the cause of our troubles he does still have some good ones so i suppose thats what keeps me going, just hoping that one day one of thoses little bu**ers will introduce itself to my egg !!!

I am using ovulation test strips as well and i have ovulated late this month so it looks like my cycles may play up for a while.  I am usualy a 25/26 day girl but acording to the test strips i am ovulating now on days 17/18 so looks like its a long cycle this month   

My body feels a bit more back to normal now, i didnt feel great on the drugs this time round for some reason.  Just need to win the lottery now so that i can try again   

Hope everyone is well and once again i am soooo glad to have you lovely ladies

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Yes Pocket, sorry to continue the 'talking to', exactly as everyone else has said, you just don't know yet   . I know sometimes it just seems easier to start grieving now to get it out of the way but what if you're wrong?  

You've been pumping yourself full of hormones for so long now you are bound to have a mood dip, give yourself a break hun  . Think of all the lovely things you would say to us if we were feeling like you right now and say them to yourself. Try and accept where you are right now, take some deep breaths and remember (and I quote) everything happens for a reason. Repeat after me 'everything is as it should be, all is well in my world'. Say it as a mantra every time the anxiety comes on to push the negative thoughts away. There is nothing you can do about your situation right now except keep your stress chemicals at a minimum so try and concentrate on that. Ok neo-hippy lecture over  I do feel for you Pocket, the tww is absolute hell        

Chris, that is a hard decision to make. Who decides? You or them? Still, as you said, not disastrous. I know you've heard it a million times before but it _does_ only take one!    

Katie, George being far from passive with the meds is a great sign IMO! Good for him. I agree getting him home is bound to be better 

Hi Dannii , hi Sanfransisco, I hope you are well  HI Lyns 

My scan was ok, I'm trying not to get my hopes up because although I know positive thinking is hugely beneficial it also makes it much harder if it doesn't work. So, I'm trying to be neutral and not get too attached to the outcome. It makes sense to me anyway. I had 5 follies one side and 3 on the other. The consultant reckons we could get 5 eggs but last tx most of the follies were empty so we'll see. Probably ec Monday.


----------



## louloumay

Lyns, you snuck that post in while I was typing, I'm so glad you are feeling better and more positve  . When (not if) I win the lottery I'll pay for you next tx!


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh girls... what would I do without you?!             Thank you   

Loulou - 5 and 3 is great. That Gonal F is playing the game   

Lyns - Glad you are staying positive    You have such a great attitude   

Love to all of you - heading off to bed soon (with Zita naturally   ).. here's hoping tomorrow is a better day xxxxx


----------



## lyns76

Ha Loulou thanks i was waiting for one of you to offer me the money te he !!

I would go on the game to fund it but think i would have to pay them (well thats wot my hubby rekons, cheeky sh*t !!)

really hope that you get some good eggs and that this time your dreams will come true.

i keep looking for puppy's for sale but worried if i get one that i will dress in a romper suit and buy one of those doggy pushchairs....think i have officially lost the plot !!!

 

Lyns
xx


----------



## lyns76

LOL...i meant to say " i would dress IT in a romper suit"

I would hate for you lot to think that i would be walking round in one !!


----------



## PocketRocket

I'm sure you'd look rather fetching in a romper suit, Lyns...


----------



## lyns76

I can assure you not....George Daws comes to mind


----------



## louloumay

ok off to bed with an image of George Daws pushing a puppy around in a doggy pushchair in my head. Thanks for that!


----------



## chrisgib

OMG - you have all officially lost the plot!  Bonkers doesn't even touch it!   You're all hysterical. Glad I didn't read the bit about romper suits before going to sleep though - a tad disturbing.   

Pocket - how are you doing hun - hope you got a good nights sleep, even with Zita. You know we're   for you, only a few days before all this uncertainty is over. You've got a great Blast on board, and as SanFran said, you're a spring chicken - so there is every chance that it will work. Keep busy - the 2ww is a killer.  It will be me and Loulou next week going nuts - god willing.  Funny - I'm not very religious but at times like this......    

Good luck Loulou - it's a stressful but exciting time in the process.  Good work on the follies, I hope I can catch you up.

How are the dogs doing?

AFM, clinic phoned, they've decided to scan again tomorrow with a view to doing EC early next week. Just hope the littlies don't over cook too. They were concerned that the big ones might already be too big.  

Sorry I went a bit AWOL yesterday, my sister and her son suddenly decided to visit and stay overnight, she'd had to put her dog down yesterday (she had cancer) and couldn't face going back to her own house. All very sad.   
Not sure how long she's planning on staying. Good to have an extra baby sitter around though whilst all these appointments are happening.   Although Holly is terrified of her cousin (he's 17).

Better go - Holly now waking (despite having woken me at 6.50am, she manages to go back to sleep) Can't complain - yesterday she had me up at 4.45am.   

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning my favourite FFs   

Chris - Can't believe you're so surprised about everyone being bonkers on here    You don't seriously expect any of us to be normal after all the drugs we take, do you?!   
Sounds as if lots of people have poorly poochies at the moment   
Great news that your EC is planned for next week    You and Loulou might be going in at the same time! Can totally understand your anxiety re: the follies, but remember the clinic know what they are doing and as long as they get a few good eggies to play around with, that's all that matters   

Hope everyone else is having a good day so far?   

Feeling a little better today    Slightly calmer and more rational    Still full of anxiety of course but that's all par for the course! Got an acupuncture session later on this afternoon so hoping that will make me feel a little more positive. Got a day with DH and LO tomorrow which will be nice. I feel instantly better when I've got my boys around me   

Lots of Love to you all xxx and thank you for supporting me with your kind words during my breakdown yesterday!!   xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - Hope all goes well during your scan today   

Lots of Love to everybody else... I hope you are all ok    It was pretty quiet on here yesterday!

Pocket xxx


----------



## louloumay

Yes good luck Chris!    

Hi Pocket, I was so busy yesterday I didn't get time to even turn the computer on! Hope you are having a fab day with your boys   

Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi y'all!

Scan went Ok this morning - they've all grown nicely, so think we're looking at EC on either Monday or Tuesday - as usual, waiting for the phone call that tells me what to do.   

We bumped in to a couple at the clinic, the wife works with my DH - all a bit embarassing for them I think. They all know that Holly was IVF, but this couple are very private - How awful to bump in to your Director at the clinic! I felt quite sorry for her.  She's young (early 30's) and pretty and they're at exactly the same stage of their cycle, she's got 20 follicles and will probably have EC at the same time as me!  

Loulou how are you feeling about it all?

Pocket, Katie, Lyns, Dannii, Aurelia -  Hope you're all OK.  I'll be back on later when I know what's what.

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Yes that must have been wierd for them, still at least they know you guys understand.

Glad to hear your follies are doing well   , my ec is Monday or Tuesday too! I'll find out tomorrow after my final scan  

Good luck us!


----------



## chrisgib

Me again,

Just had the call - it's all go go go for Tuesday. Ovitrelle injection at 22.15 on Sunday.

Relieved it's Tuesday as Holly has a swimming lesson on Monday -   (how unimportant do these things become!)

Quite excited now - but stressing slightly that there's a good chance we might have no embies to go back. Just praying for a good fertilisation rate.   

Hope you get good news tomorrow too Loulou. I feel luck for us!       

 to you all.

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - That's really great news about your gorgeous follies    Fingers Xed that EC will be wonderfully successful and they'll collect lots of nice juicy eggs!    How awful for your DH's colleague    I would feel exactly the same as her - but at least you and DH are sensitive to how she might be feeling. And I would think that it's quite nice to know you aren't alone! You know that you aren't, of course, but not knowing an IF person directly makes you feel that way, IYKWIM   

Loulou - Hope you get on just as well as Chris with your scan! How lovely that both of your ECs will be so close/on the same day! You can send    vibes to each other on whilst under sedation    

Katie, Lyns, Dannii   

AFM, had a nice day today with DH and LO. Think I may have overdone it a little though as indulged in some mopping earlier    (oh I know how to live   ) and lifted LO into a trolley whilst he was having a paddy and am feeling a little sore now    Hoping I've not done any serious damage    You know how paranoid you can get    
Had a good day today in terms of feeling    but I always like to talk myself down a peg or two when I get that way as feel as though I might be setting myself up for a fall otherwise    Mentioned to my mum that I had to keep getting up in the night for a wee so therefore didn't sleep very well and she immediately responded by saying 'Well, that's because your pregnant, dear!' It obviously had noting to do with the fact that I drank copious amounts of tea and Ribena yesterday in addition to having the smallest bladder in the entire world    There is nothing more than I would love for her to be right but it's hard when people say things like that as it does get your hopes up    and if we do get a BFN then it's going to be hard enough to deal with as it is   

Anyway, here's hoping you all have a fab weekend - anyone got anything nice planned?

Pocket xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oooh we posted at the same time Chris! FAB news re: EC    Tuesdays must be the most popular day for it at the moment    Try not to worry about embies just yet (from the girl who NEVER indulges in any moments of worry   ) just take it one step at a time


----------



## louloumay

Pleased to hear you are feeling a bit more   Pocket. Know exactly what you mean about setting yourself up for a fall though. I'm totally the same  

Love to all, have a great weekend. Roll on tuesday Chris!


----------



## louloumay

Help! I need someone to talk me out of murdering dp!


----------



## Katie4

Don't do that, not yet, don't you need a fresh "sample"?! Wait till ec! (sorry if you are beyond joking about it) 

What's he done? (am praying it's not what I'm thinking- he's not having doubts about treatment is he?!)


----------



## PocketRocket

What's happened Loulou?! I'm with Katie.. try to wait until EC at least then go for your life, girlfriend   

PR xxx


----------



## louloumay

Silly me, of course! I forgot I need a bit of him for tuesday  

I've calmed down now anyway.
I have totally shielded him from this tx because he can't handle the strain  (he has only come to one apt). I can cope with my own physical and emotional fall out  because I have support from my mum and you guys (thank goodness) but I can't deal with his as well (not that he has any physical effects to deal with. All he has to do is bash one out into a cup). So when he says things like 'I can't wait for this week to be over, it all does my head in', is a moody git all day and then gets the hump because I didn't thank him properly for cleaning the bathroom, I start to feel a little cross  

Anyway, how are you lovely ladies?


----------



## Katie4

Ah just general man crapness then?! Ah just ignore him and think about those follies. 

DH was evil all weekend because we had to go to a christening and because we were helping out by housing the prepared food in our spare (and empty) fridge in the garage and I'd made some decorations. Anyway, he came, and was in a great mood once we'd left, especially as I actually agreed with him by the end, Christenings are a bit, well dull?! Is that awful? They are like the opposite of a good wedding! I think NG's was nice (of course) but in those days all the kids were under 1 so all we had to worry about at the venue was a few soft play mats and plenty of high chairs. This time there were loads of children and the service was 90 mins (!) and then the party buffet wasn't exactly inspiring. Sorry, I know I sound awful but I can't stand quiche! LOL I'm almost in agreement not to have one for No 2 (or to have them christened just us and the god parents and then just invite everyone to the party afterwards). 

Sorry,, not meaning to be controversial but looking round today a lot of Dads looked rather fed up so maybe you won't be horrified?

On another note, George is doing quite well 

How's everyone's weekend been?


----------



## PocketRocket

Loulou, I would be angry too    Glad you've calmed down though - your body doesn't need all those stress toxins at the moment    What time are you going in for EC?

Katie - Bloody men    I think I am with you on the christening thing... as you say, I think it's nice for the godparents, grandparents and parents but maybe slightly dull for extended family and friends!   

AFM, had a lovely weekend.. a lazy day with LO yesterday whilst DH was at work and a nice family day today    Just what we all needed... in preparation for the week ahead    Was feeling very calm and rational yesterday... neither positive or negative... now I am just shi*ting my knickers    DH and I can't decide whether to do the test on Tuesday morning (if nothing 'arrives' before then of course) before we both go to work or once we get back    I'm just not sure I can handle a whole day at work if it's a BFN... but not sure I will be able to last the whole day without knowing either    What would you girls do!!

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

I'm impressed you've all done christenings - it's still on my 'to do' list. I gave up as I didn't want everyone to have to sit through a whole service and wanted to find one where you can just have your own bit at the end.  My current plan, assuming we have a no2, is to do them both at once!  If we don't have no2 then not sure.

Pocket - I would have tested days ago - naughty I know.   But I would definitely test before work, couldn't stand not knowing all day - in fact I'd probably be up at 4am testing. None of these strategies are conducive to a productive days work though.   You work Mon/Tues?  If that's the case, then maybe there's a lot to be said for testing after work, if you have to face Wed anyway, then there's nothing to gain with not testing first thing - does that make sense?

Loulou - so glad you haven't murdered DH - would have been a real waste of all those lovely eggies!  Men are rubbish and it sounds like you've protected him from as much as possible - but he of course won't realise that. Take no notice of him - he need to relax ahead of his big day on Tuesday! 

I've got to do my trigger shot soon (1015). Don't let me forget. Has all felt a bit weird today, as did Gonal F at 6pm, Buserilin at 8pm, then trigger at 10pm - hope I've done it right.  My EC is at 9.30 on Tuesday - I just pray they get some good ones.

Katie - so glad that George is doing well. Must be a huge relief.

Hi to everyone.


----------



## louloumay

Blimey Chris, I've just done my trigger. EC at 9am on tuesday. How close!  

I agree with everyone about christenings.........boooooooooooooring! LO isn't chrisned, dp and I aren't married. Can't be arsed with ceremonies!

Pocket, I tested AT work with LO's cycle, thank god it was positive! I think waiting till you get home tuesday would be the best idea. I'm the same as Chris though, I would have wee'd on about 10 sticks by now!  

Glad George has picked up Katie


----------



## PocketRocket

I've not had LO christened Chris - don't really believe in it if I'm honest! (Hope that's not caused offence to anyone). We didn't get married in a church so feel it'd somehow be hypocritical if I was to then have LO christened in one - if that makes sense?!?

Yes, what you said made sense! I do only work Mon/Tues so I think my    logic fitted in with that.. testing after work on Tues if it was a BFN then would allow me to cry all day Wed (and the rest of the week/month/year)....

Hmmm, think we'll see how we feel tomorrow.

PR xx


----------



## PocketRocket

PS. Loving the fact you are both in on same day (and time practically!) for EC! Doing teh trigger shot always makes me scared too.... I worry if I haven't done it right and my eggs will still be all cosied up in the follies   

As for you both being impatient and telling me you'd both have tested by now - well, I am going to be keeping a close eye on you both after your ET      

xxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh god pocket, so tricky. What about Monday night so you have all evening to prep for the day at work (and hopefully hiding your huge grin?!) 

What a week!!! Come on girls, I'm happy to have my birthday (wed) totally outshon by a bfp for PR and some great embies for Chris and loulou. 

And not at all offended by any comments about christenings bring naff. We are married but it wasn't in a church, I'm more religious than dh (who is completely against it all) but at the time felt so blessed by ng that it was v important to me to have her baptised. Not that I dont feel blessed at the mo, of course I do, I just wasn't as moved in church today. Normally I enjoy it and have a sense of peace when we leave. It was just so long!! Ngs included holy communion and was still only 1 hr! Might (if I can convince dh) this time just opt for the private service - although that makes hymns even more difficult- none of us are x factor contenders!


----------



## louloumay

I hope I didn't offend anyone either. I'm sure all ffs christenings are FAB


----------



## louloumay

Morning!

Good luck tomorrow Pocket     for a lovely pink (or blue) line and good luck Chris     for 3 beautiful embies to snuggle back in.     
Strange how we have all synchronised in some way  .

Dp is still being a complete drama queen. I got up this morning and he hadn't gone to work because he 'just couldn't face it'. FOR GOODNESS SAKE!  . I gave him a talking to and a hug and packed him off. I just want everything to be normal today, not just for my sake but for LO too. She knew something was up this morning just because he was here. Am I being mean? I know it has an impact on our men but does hanging around moping all day (under my feet) help in any way? What's he going to be like during the 2ww?  

Grrrrr.

Hope everyone else is well!


----------



## chrisgib

Loulou - of course you're not being mean. Sounds like your DP is at the other end of the emotional spectrum to mine! Not sure either is much good really. Oh well, after tomorrow they'll have done their bit, then we don't have to be nice to them anymore.    Only kidding of course.  Hope it all goes well tomorrow - assume you're hoping to have 3 put back too?      

Pocket - feeling for you hun - have you tested yet?  You're so disciplined. I reckon loulou and I will be a nightmare during the 2ww, on the early testing/self torture front anyway. Good luck for tomorrow.      

hi to everyone   

Lashing down with rain here today, think we're going shopping - what else is there to do when it rains?! Then H's swimming lesson this afternoon - quite looking forward to that. Thank goodness EC is tomorrow and wasn't today, I'd have had to miss it!   

Chat later.

Christine
xx


----------



## natalie34

Just crashing your thread girls to wish Chris all the very best for tomorrow.  Thinking of you lots      


Nat


x x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hey everyone,

How are you all doing?

Chris and Loulou - best of luck for tomorrow.. will be thinking of you both and    for lots of juicy eggies!! How are you feeling about it all?

Katie - Hope you are ok   

Lyns -   

AFM, a busy day at work kept me preoccupied (but still been nervous nonetheless!). Still haven't tested yet - haven't even bought any tests yet    Is that really bad?! Was going to get some tonight to give us the option of doing the test in the morning if we wanted to but kind of might just wait to do it in the evening after work tomorrow    Although just found out that DH is sans voiture tomorrow so will be getting a lift back from work - therefore won't be home until 5.30pm - whereas I can get home by 4.30?! Dilemmas, dilemmas!!

Have felt REALLY bloated today and my right ovary is still sore every now and again... do you think I should be worried? I can't remember how sore I was after EC last time but just putting it down to that really. Would have thought it might have gone down by now though    I also get (apologies... TMI coming up   ) a swollen 'lady garden' post EC!! It looks hideous    but that area is still swollen too    Apparently its normal if you've had more eggs collected from one side than the other... just a little worried that I may have delayed OHSS if there is such a thing?! I've mainly been keeping up my fluids bar one or two bad days.

Sorry about that post there   

Gracious - I feel really nervous all of a sudden   

Take care,

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

No wonder you're nervous - I'm terrified for you!   I so so hope you get the right answer. I still can't believe you've not tested, nevermind not having any in the house - I must have about 50 tests (cheapy amazon ones) in the house, my friend keeps threatening to come and confiscate them all!   

Thanks to Natalie for your good wishes (that's the lady I was telling you all about with the twins!) 

I'm nervous too, although not a patch on how I was feeling pre-trigger last night. I was feeling quite sick with it all. I guess I've done as much as I can do now - it's now all down to the lab, and of course to my dear darling DH! No pressure!!   

Loulou, how are you feeling hun? 

Katie - are you showing yet? I bet you're glowing. 

Lyns - hope today's been a good day for you. One day at a time.   

 to you all. 

Good luck tomorrow Pocket. Don't keep us in suspense too long.        

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

I'm thinking no af is a good sign Pocket?  

Everything xed for lots of fab eggies tomorrow Chris  

AFM, dreading having to get up at 4.30 in the morning to leave at 5.30 to get to London


----------



## chrisgib

Good luck to you too Loulou - sorry I meant to put that originally - think I originally put something about having everything crossed and then typed and subsequently deleted a crude joke about that.  Sorry - of course I wish you all the luck in the world. Your early start sounds horrific - how are you managing with babysitting?  My logistics are easy as the clinic is only 10 mins drive away. 

love to you all.

 

Chrisitne
xx


----------



## Katie4

Good luck all three of you - big day tomorrow.,will be thinking of you all and seriously, PR, if you've made it to 4.30 you will manage the last 60mins waiting for dh. Maybe do your urine sample first thing and put in the fridge and then buy a twin pack so you can test the first sample and then a later one if needs be for comparison? Think boots have first response twin pack on bogof so then you will have 4 and can rival Chris!

Loulou, didn't realise you were travelling for all your appointments! That's tough but will take your mind off it?

Will be checking all day for updates from you all. 

Good luck x x x


----------



## louloumay

My poor mum is coming round Chris, she'll take LO to school. It only takes 2 hours to get to London from here but as usual DP has got his knickers in a twist about traffic. I expect we'll get there at 7.30 like we did last time and have to sit in the car for 2 hours in the middle of Westminster with nothing to do! I think I'll buy some of those rubbish but strangely compelling celebrity mags to keep myself from going mad.

Katie, only EC and ET are in London so it's not too bad. Believe me you would have known all about it had it been otherwise!

Well, off to bed. Jolly good luck to you Chris, you Pocket and me!  

Night night.

Love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Thinking of you all today x x x


----------



## sanfrancisco

Pocket-good luck for today         

Lou-Good luck to you aswell,logistics of treatment with childcare is a nightmare!      

Katie-I love to see natural conceptions on here-I  forever live in hope! xx 

Sorry for barging into your thread but love to see how yout getting on as we are all in the same position.Any one had treatment in care manchester.Thinking of changing clinics,lost faith in mine  xx

Goodluck to everyone else on this thread,hope our dreams come true xx


----------



## Katie4

Hi Sanfran, 

Not barging in at all.    join the gang. Exciting/emotional/nail biting week here for us...

I'm not up in Manchester but have you looked at that region's threads? 

K x


----------



## Tillypops

Sorry, only just got on but wanted to wish you all good luck today.  Look forward to reading your news tonight.

Tilly
xxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Quick update from me. All went quite well. Amazingly got 6 eggs, but only 4 looked good enough for ICSI. Twice as many as I was expecting so can't complain.

Will get the phonecall from the lab on Thursday morning and expect either a Thursday or Friday transfer.

Feel fine, had quite a nice day really. Holly was out with inlaws all day, and I had a friend here to keep me company, with her 2 kids who slept most of the afternoon!

Pocket -     for you.

Loulou - hope things went well for you too.     

Christine
xxx


----------



## natalie34

Wow Christine - that's really good news - well done you     

4 was my lucky number this cycle, so hope it is for you too.  Keeping everything crossed and more    

Nat

x x x


----------



## Katie4

Terrific news Chris. Well done you. Fingers crossed x x


----------



## Katie4

It's half five....pockets husband should be home....everything crossed hun x


----------



## louloumay

Hello!

Well done Chris, fab news.  

Everything went smoothly for me too, especially compared to last time. 4 eggs retrieved, phonecall tomorrow morning to see how many fertilised. Had a ice afternoon nap, about to get up for a nice cup of tea and something to eat. DP behaved himself too!  

Ok Pocket, please have some good news too!


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh girls - you're so sweet   

Well, did the test about an hour ago... it's a   !!!!!!!!            Can't quite believe it really - in fact, I am actually more relieved than anything else    I hardly drank anything all day in order to make sure my wee was quite concentrated, hardly ate anything because I was so nervous - then cried my eyes out whilst waiting out those horrific three minutes    and then balled again when we saw the result... as a consequence I am now suffering from a pounding headache    But all worth it   

And now the wait for the scan..    But I'm going to try and enjoy the moment   

Chris and Loulou - What fantastic news about your eggies!!! It seems that four might be the magic number on this thread    I think we deserve it, hey?! Please keep us informed and we'll be praying for a great fertilisation rate   

Thanks for your message SanFran   

Katie - Your post about my DH being home made me laugh   

Thanks so much for your support chickens    I've just left DH bathing LO saying 'I've got to let my FFs know - they've been waiting all day!!'

Think we're going to celebrate with a takeaway Chinese and a glass of... Ribena    (never been so glad to not celebrate with wine   )

Lots of Love xxxx


----------



## Katie4

What a fantastic day!!!! Honestly girls, might have been tough for you but don't underestimate what I went through thinking of you all lol!!!

Worth every ounce of concern though, you've done us and yourselves proud. Like pocket says, enjoy the moment and let's wait for good news from your clinics. 

Am so happy for you all. 

K x


----------



## chrisgib

Wow Pocket - that's fabulous - I am so pleased/relieved.   

You should absolutely enjoy the moment. There is no reason now why you should have anything other than good news.  How many did you have put back - was it one blast?  Maybe ID twins then!

Well Done Loulou too. A good day all round. Wish my clinic would phone me tomorrow - Thursday seems an age away.  Oh well - ignorance is bliss at this stage so I probably won't hassle them.     for good news in your phone call tomorrow.

One day at a time girls - for all of us, whatever stage we're at.   

Ah - might join you in that glass of ribena, while watching DH swig his beer!

Christine
xxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

oh my god! oh my god! oh my god! 

pocket ~ im thrilled for you & dh, this is fantastic news. relax & enjoy the moment

chris & lou lou ~ great news on all those juicy eggies, hope those phonecalls bring more good news. you both so deserve it 

katie ~ hows george doing? any improvement?

lyns ~ how are you doing? 


afm ~ no luck chasing up my x-ray results, backlog apparently, i intend to hound them though 

roxies so much better, thanks so much for asking, stitches are coming out tomorrow & fingers x'd she gets the all clear

still cant believe the good news on here today, its just so brilliant to read


----------



## louloumay




----------



## Tillypops

Yay!! Well done ladies and huge congratulations Pocket!

Pocket - you asked about late onset OHSS. It can happen, it happened to me and unknown to me was because I had a BFP. The hormones triggered by a BFP can cause OHSS to start, so keep an eye on your fluid intake, and if you are peeing out less than you are putting in, become badly bloated and feel nauseous contact your clinic. Look after yourself hun and congratulations again.

Tilly
xxxxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Well done pocket,you are going to complete your family,lovely news xx 

Loulou+chris-well done on the eggies.Things come in 3's,so there will be another 2 bfp anouncements on here soon            

I feel like crying at the moment,so much lovely and good news xx


----------



## Katie4

Danni that is amazing news about Roxie too. Let's hope you making a nice nuisance of yourself works. you can always see your GP - they will miraculously be able to get the results over the phone by saying "Hello it's Dr so and so here..."!

George is much better - also on the mend. 

NG is driving me bonkers tonight, she's already had two fave toys confiscated because of silly naughtiness before bathtime and then committed the ultimate sin in our house, having pinched me twice, very deliberately she then pee'd in the naughty corner having told her not to do that (it's her party trick!) so I had to take away her fave toy - bunny. Of course she is now beside herself in bed swinging between quiet sad sobs and total duvet throwing rage - OMg what will she be like in 10 years?! Of course DH is out and I've work to do and want to get the house straight in anticipation of my quiet but hopefully OK birthday tomorrow. No major aspirations, just a nice day with tea out all three of us. Got a midwife appointment which I was annoyed about but I'd so hoped I'd be pregnant by this time next year I think maybe I should eat a bit of humble pie and count my many blessings. 

BTW I'm pretty sure my Dh has got me a tin opener as one of my birthday presents...and bizarrely it will make me happy but I feel like I'm betraying womankind.


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls.....havent been on for ages and now look whats happened hey.......FANTASTIC NEWS ALL ROUND !!!!!!!!!!!

I DONT KNOW HOW TO PUT THE JUMPING AROUND THINGS ON ELSE I WOULD !!

POCKET - i had such a good feeling about this go for you, brilliant news, enjoy it and relax (as much as you can), everything will be just fine...brilliant xx

CHRIS AND LOULOU - well done ladies and am so sure one or maybe two of those fab eggs will be baby number two/three for you, will be keeping everything crossed (well apart from two things   .....gotta keep at this baby making thing!!)  

KATIE AND DANNII - So happy to hear the the poochies are doing much better, brill news, i am such an animal lover, sure i think more of them than i do humans ha xx

Big hi to everyone else, hope you are keeping up with the positive thinking  ......

big hugs and congratulations all round

Lyns

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Dannii - I agree that you should make a nuisance of yourself    My mum is still chasing up test results from an xray she had months ago    Lovely to hear your pooch is on the mend   

Katie - Have a lovely birthday tomorrow   I hope NG sorts out her naughtiness! I must admit I did chuckle when I read what she had done   Little pickle! F is just about entering Tantrum Phase although I'm hoping they'll stay at a manageable level for the time being    I'm reserving judgement on your tin opener gift      

SanFran - Thanks for being so happy for us    Are you planning on tx in the near future at all?

Tillypops - Thanks for the advice on the OHSS. Will keep an eye and maybe have a word with the nurses tomorrow when I call to arrange my scan.Have felt ok today really.. it's the bloating that is a pest - but I think the Cyclogest has something to do with that too   

Loulou and Chris - How are you feeling eggy ladies?!    How come you have to wait until Thursday to find out Chris? Loulou, let us know what the clinic say tomorrow.

Lyns -   Thanks for your kind words - hope you're bearing up and keeping with that positive attitude   

Think I might need to go to bed soon... the adrenaline from today is fast wearing off!! Going to see Lee Evans with DH tomorrow night which should be good fun - he cracks me up   

Sleep tight FFs - sweet dreams about beautiful fertilisation      

Pocket xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

I meant Lee Evans cracks me up - DH not so much    

PR xxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Good morning.

Loulou - hope you get good news this morning. Thinking of you.   

Not sure why my clinic doesn't phone til tomorrow - just how they are. 
Tillypops - any idea?

Just going out for brekkie - chat later.

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Morning ladies!

My, what a happy bunch we all are at the moment!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    

I hope you have a fab, albeit quite, day hun  

Good luck for tomorrow Chris   , I have no idea why your clinic wait. It's nice to have a bit of notice as to when you have to go back. Meanies.

LYNS!! How are you? Hope things are going well. Have you had your holiday yet?  

Pocket, I am so please for you sweetie. Like Lyns, I also had a good feeling about this cycle for you, especially since af didn't rear her ugly head. I so hope th next 9 months are a breeze for you    , oh and have fun at Lee Evans!

Thanks for your kind words Sanfran, . How are things for you at the moment?

Dannii, so glad Roxie is on the mend. I agree you should hassle them about your xray, Katie's suggestion about getting you GP involved is a great idea  

Tilly  

AFM, the clinic rang, all fertilised  , booked in for friday, or sunday if they are mega embies!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Loulou!! Yeah!!!   What a fantastic fertilisation rate!! Such fantastic news! Really, really pleased for you hunny    

Chris - Let's hope your eggies and DH's spermies are getting jiggy with it in the same way!! Yeeeaaahhhh!!!!   

Oh I love all this nice news - it makes me feel all warm and squidgy inside!!!      

Katie -    to you!! Hope you are being treated like a true birthday princess!!!

How strange that you guys had a good feeling about my tx cycle... my mum said the same - she just knew I was pg (how do Mums know these things?!   ) I rang her yesterday and shouted down the phone 'Mum, it's POSITIVE!' She replied very calmly and nonchalantly, 'Yes darling, I know.'    I must admit, I have had rather itchy nipples lately    and I got that with F! But didn't want to say it out aloud in case it tempted fate   Called clinic and 7 week scan booked for 6th October. And so the next countdown begins   

Tillypops, Lyns, SanFran -    to you all!

Have a fantastic day girls xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Aw thanks for the cool bananas Pocket  

I agreed with your mum about the night wees! That happened to me with LO and the chemical pg. Your mum's 'yes darling' reaction is such a 'mum' thing to say isn't it  . It made me smile  

xx


----------



## chrisgib

Happy Birthday Katie - hope you are being suitably spoilt.  What are you up to?

Loulou - that's great news - do you always get 100% or is this a lucky one?  We got 100% last time but the one before that was awful at just 2 out of 7 - someone tell me what that is as a %, I haven't got a brain anymore!   Are you planning to have 3 put back? What about if it's a 5 day transfer - will they still do 3?

Pocket - how are you feeling today - bet you can't believe it. How many more tests have you done - or is that just me that wants to see them all saying the good news! You would laugh - I did one this morning to see how strong the HCG was - it barely showed, and that's only 3 days after the trigger shot. I just love to pee on a stick! Have you decided who you're telling? I think I told all my family/friends and my boss (who had all supported me through tx), but then the rest of work at 12 weeks. 

I'm quite nervous about tomorrow - wish they'd phoned me today to put me out of my misery. Will be a big rush to organise acupuncture etc around what will probably be transfer tomorrow afternoon, assuming we have some fertilised of course.     

Hope you all get good vibes about our cycles too! I kind of feel under some pressure not to let you ladies down, it's been such a good week so far. 

I'm shattered tonight. DH is just putting Holly to bed. She woke me last night, but I couldn't get back to sleep for hours and hours. Today has been a struggle.  

Lyns, Dannii   

Hope you're all having a good day. 

Christine


----------



## Tillypops

I've no idea why they do it like that Chris - they did the same 5 years ago when I started tx too. Must just be their way. Fingers crossed for you.

Tilly
xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi Chris, everything xed for your phone call tomorrow   . Do they do day 4 transfers at your clinic? Mine don't, it's either 3 or 5. 

I have no idea about how many blasts they transfer. I reckon it's still probably 3. As for the 100%, I got 4 out of 5 the time before last but only 1 out of 2 for my disastrous last one. One of the eggs wasn't mature. Can't remember any further back than that!

Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight  

love to all xxx


----------



## Katie4

Been a chaotic birthday...glad to be in bed (alone!) watching tv! 

Great news loulou and good luck Chris for tomorrow. Insomnia stinks and whn you have an active toddler as well it's torture! 

Thanks for the lovely birthday wishes x


----------



## louloumay

Any news Chris?


----------



## chrisgib

They have just this minute phoned - was feeling sick whilst waiting!

I have 3 embies going back this afternoon - one 3, 4 and 5 cell; 2 x AB's and 1 x B - can't complain at that really.

So so relieved.

Can't get hold of DH now!!

Christine
xx


----------



## Tillypops

Fab news hun! Will have everything crossed.

xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Yippee!!!! That's great news Chris       

I LOVE all this happy news   

Pocket xx


----------



## louloumay

Brilliant! I shall go out to lunch to celebrate!


----------



## natalie34

That's great news Christine!  Good luck this afternoon.   

Nat

x x x


----------



## Katie4

Fan- blumin-tastic Chris. That is such good news. Good luck. 

Loulou, what happens next with you? I can't keep up


----------



## louloumay

Transfer tomorrow at 2pm Katie. Won't know how many (if any) have progressed until then.

Good luck Chris


----------



## Katie4

OMG so Chris has her ET today and you tomorrow....I don't think I can handle the pressure   

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks everyone for all your comments - I'm back and now have 3 embies on board - Hooray!   

By this afternoon they had become  8, 6 and 3 cell - so really pleased esepcially with the 8 cell one which seems to be charging ahead. My lovely acupuncturist had to hang around all afternoon too as the clinic were 40 mins late seeing me - I was feeling sick with nerves by the time I went in. Then they couldnt get the catheter in properly so was in the chair for ages - but on the whole it all went smoothly and I'm hoping those little embies are snuggling in tight. Still can't help but stress about the possibility of triplets - but logically I know that won't happen! Since I got home I've been lying in bed with the Zita West CD - told DH he has to listen every night with me - it always sends me to sleep though.

So then Loulou - it's your turn next! 

Sorry - laptop about to run out of juice - will be back on later.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Terrific news Chris, well done on being PUPO. 

Loulou, another early start for you tomorrow sweetie?


----------



## Katie4

By the way Loulou, thought you would approve of NG's new bedroom sticker (DH has banned the pink delight I loved and this is going up instead, probably on a green wall like the photo as it looks so nice....)

http://www.roommatespeelandstick.com/walldecals/scroll-tree-wall-decals.aspx

/links


----------



## louloumay

Marvellous news Chris!    Fancy making you wait that long  , Did you have to have a full bladder? I would have wet my pants having to wait for 40 mins. 

My clinic do afternoon transfers Katie, so no early start, thank goodness. Don't have to put up with the drama queen either  , my mum is taking me up! Lurve the bedroom sticker by the way  

love to all


----------



## chrisgib

Ah - the full bladder!  Thankfully I didn't have that as they don't do it by ultrasound. Don't ask me why, they say their way is just as effective as shown in their stats - blah blah blah. Sorry if I sound a tad cynical.  My clinic has great stats (3rd best in the country someone said) but I reckon it's just because they tend to only deal with straightforward cases. Nothing really to base that on, just a perception.

Good luck Loulou. Glad your mum is going with you - you are good to your DP, he's very lucky. 

Katie - I thought the stickers are lovely too. My only worry would be about having enough wall space lower down for the tree trunk, as you'll need a bit without furniture - but maybe your rooms are huge! Holly's room seems to be all furniture/window/fireplace - nothing spare.

Pocket - how are you feeling hun?  Has it all sunk in?  Any symptoms?

Lyns - how are you doing?  I'm worried about you. Hope all this treatment talk isn't upsetting for you. It's difficult as treatment makes us all so full of hope, but we all know how that can turn out.   

Right - another early night for me I think. Poor DH is feeling like a slave - last night he even brought me room service supper as I went to bed at 7pm!

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - That's such wonderful news    Give that tummy a rub for me and we'll all be keeping our fingers crossed my lovely   


Loulou - Best of luck for tomorrow afternoon    I bet those embies are dividing like mad tonight and getting ready to snuggle down in your tummy   


AFM, nothing to report symptom-wise apart from feeling very tired and bloated still - but I'm not complaining   Oh, and I seem to be hungry all the time (but that's normal really   )  and no, it really hasn't sunk in yet!!!

Had a great time at Lee Evans was hilarious last night... I was actually crying with laughter at one point   


Love to you all xxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening. 

Loulou, great news it's late on tomorrow and glad ur mum can go, bet she's thrilled to be asked. Glad u approve of the sticker! Lol good luck. 

PR - glad you are taking it all in your stride so far 

Chris, what a great dh. Ive had tea brought to bed only once- when my pelvis went and I couldn't move when I was 38 weeks with ng. Think I'd actually cooked it though!! 
As for the sticker, ours is a new ish house so no fireplace nor large rooms!  bed against one wall, fitted wardrobes against another, window on the 3rd and sticker tree on 4th. Her chest of drawers will be in the wardrobe so the only furniture will be a low bookcase which wont obscure the sticker. although on their website it shows how people have put it up to suit the space available- it comes as lots of pieces so you can go for bespoke if u want...I should be on their marketing team! Lol

Lyns, hope one of your lovely trips is coming up. Your next appointment is only a dew weeks away isn't it? 

Right must go to sleep. Work tomorrow. 

X


----------



## Katie4

Hello, 

Loulou, thinking of you and your Mum and of course your embies today   

PR hope all is still well. Bet you are symptom spotting and getting anxious...and in about 10 days will be feeling rough as a dog with sore (.)(.)(.) but a bit more reassured!   

Chris, are you and H having a chilled out day? 

I'm bored and want the weekend to start.    Although I have just had a e-mail back from a certain supermarket with whom I do my internet shopping and seemingly every week I have to complain about something - this week it was that in one bag, loose, were 2 courgettes, 4 onions, 4 red onions, 4 banana, 5 apples, 8 carrots and two bags of grapes. It was ready to explode and the apples and bananas were battered so I sent another complaining e-mail. So they've offered me £5.50 in e vouchers for my next shop and the internet shopping manager is going to start doing spot checks on my orders...not on all orders, but mine in particular.    uh oh might have made a name for myself there.


----------



## Katie4

OK so now I've sent my boss some work I've done, organised the painters coming to decorate NG's room, hung out some washing, put another load in, eaten my body weight in stuff I shouldn't, sent an e-mail to the person in charge of the hall I want to hire for NG's party (in late Jan), tried to organise our extended family Christmas and what I should have done is just had a nap. I'm tired and bored.


----------



## chrisgib

Now that's just showing off.  You're amazing - will you come and sort out my family xmas too?   

I've done nothing, and I'm shattered. You're the one that's supposed to be tired!

Now sit and watch a movie, it's exhausting just reading what you're up to.  

Loulou - hope it's all going well this afternoon. Thinking of you.

Christine
x


----------



## Tillypops

Chris - they succeeded with Nat and she was less than straightforward, so stay positive!!!

xxxxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi Girls,

Chris, thanks so much but please dont worry about me.

i want you all to be happy and just enjoy whatever stage you are at.

I have had a manic but nice week thats why i havent been on much.

went to see inbetweeners with hubby on Wed which was sooooooo funny and we had a lovely time then last night i was on a course with work in Birmingham so didnt get back till late - shattered !!
Trying to go the the gym most evenings too, want to loose a little weight and tone up and it takes my mind off things.

I am not gonna lie i do feel like sh*t most days and i have been a right grump with hubby cus i am so peed off with it all but i am sure i will start having more good days than bad soon enough.

The nurse called me back yesterday to discuss egg share but it was just as i was leaving to go on my couse so gotta speak to her next week.
Me and hubby are gonna have a pizza and some wine tonight and have a good talk about our options and whether we think egg share is the way to go.  Bit worried about my egg numbers though.  Had 10 eggs this last go but only 6 mature so will have to see what they think.  Not even sure if i was on the max stimms or not this go - anyone know what the max is

Its just the money thing really, i would keep trying every three months if it was cheap !!!!

I think its about £600 at my clinic for egg share cus we need icsi, shame cus its free if you only need IVF.

Obviously i should know a lot more after 19th October and its not too long now.

We go away for the night next Sat (suprise so no idea where i am going) and then our hols in Yarmouth 7th October so at least i have got some things inbetween to occupy me.

You go Girls, i want this to be a lucky thread and hopefully it will turn out that we ALL get number 2 one way or the other.

Lyns

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi girls, 3 embies put back, one was 7 cell,l wasn't really listening about the other 2  , possibly 4 and 5, or 3 and 4. Not great quality though, as low down on the scale as they could be really so feeling a little flat now. Oh well, 2 weeks of hell here I come! 

love to all, sorry no personals, bit washed out.

Oh and they did assisted hatching on them.


----------



## chrisgib

Great news loulou. Put your feet up now and let DP run around after you.

When is your OTD?  Mine is the 29th.  I'll be testing long before that though, unless I'm really brave.

I keep coming to bed to listen to my Zita CD and falling asleep - it's playing havoc with my night time sleeping!  

It's going to be a long 2 weeks!

 to you all.

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Loulou - Don't be disheartened sweetie    You've got three lovely embies in there and it doesn't matter what quality they are.. if they want to snuggle down and stay, then they damn well will!! Chin up and rest up - you've been through a lot.

Chris - Know what you mean about the Zita CDs.. I don't know how she manages it! She gets me every time! I hope you are feeling ok too - make sure you rest when you can also. And step away from the pee sticks.. I shall be keeping an eye on you    Although I must admit, the 29th does seems like an age away. My clinic allows patients to test two weeks from EC, rather than two weeks from ET... I wonder why each place is so different?

Katie - Please don't be so organised.. you're making us all feel terrible    I liked the bit about stuffing yourself with food you shouldn't though   

Lyns - Glad you're bearing up. Understandable that you are feeling pretty crap, but you're taking really positive steps towards making yourself feel better and that can only be a good thing    Your surprise trip away sounds exciting! Any inklings where you might be taken?!

AFM, not much to report, don't 'feel' pg today which has made me a little on edge but trying to tell myself not to be silly and refrain from testing again    (are you impressed that I've not done another test since OTD?!!!   I think I did about 6 last time!! It's only because my mum has been staying with me and she would have told me off.. but I feel another one coming on...   )

Lots of Love to you all and sending snuggles to those embies xxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Sorry girls had no intention of boasting  , I was just so bored...usually I'd get a sense of satisfaction from doing stuff but I really didn't want to do any of it - if any of you had been on I'd just have been posting all day like normal   And I am now sat with my feet up, PJs on watching emmerdale having got back from the hairdressers at 7pm. 

So then, let's see:

Loulou, without the emotional effects of treatment the travelling alone this week would have left all of us washed out  And as for the embies, it's hard not to analyse everything but they will do what they want to and are so much better off inside you all warm and snuggled. Hope you are resting and letting your Mum look after you.

Chris, glad you are sleeping lots too. You've also had a monster week. 

PR - breathe sweetie, you are PG, test away because you will get a lovely strong line and it will reassure you. Glad you have your Mum there too. And would you like a list of the things I've eaten? (I feel guilty, I've hit my five a day but eaten choc biscuits (cold from the fridge - funny preg thing), mini twix, a stick of galaxy, baked crisps...no wonder I gain weight in preg. Had a big dinner of spag bol with parmesan and garlic bread too. Might have an ice cream....  

Lyns, hope you and DH have a nice evening and agree on a plan of action. You sound like you are doing all you should and it's totally normal to feel sad, it's not fair and I wish so much your last cycle had had a positive outcome and that if you decide more treatment is for you that you get the BFP you deserve  

Danni, hope you are managing sweetie. Any x ray news?

Have a lovely weekend girls... x x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hey girlies 

short but sweet ima tad drunk lol

chris and loulou so proud of you both and your lovely embies, hope otd brings more good news

pocket test away, you are pg its allowed lol

katie wow how productive are you? the food snounds yummy lol

lyns your doing so well lovely

rox has another infection, one step forward two steps back with that pooch, typical women eh?

hosp phoned me today xray all clear op going ahead on the 5th oct gulp! pretty scared but it has to be done i guess

nite ala yal tehehe x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi Dannii,

It's so lovely to hear of someone else being a tad drunk, hope you feel Ok today! Fabulous news about your op, so glad you don't have to wait too long. You'll then be able to get on with life.

So sorry that Roxie is still poorly though, I hope she gets better soon. Hope your DD is coping OK with Roxie being sick.   

Just noticied that your DD's birthday is the day before my DD's!  Tricky to separate xmas/birthday isn't it.

Katie - don't worry about boasting - it's incredible to read what some can get done in a day.   I occasionally have days like that and find it very satisfying, but it doesn't happen very often. I do sometimes wonder how i'd cope with a no2, as I'm shattered by the end of the day as it is!

Loulou - how are you feeling today?  What are your plans? I think we sometimes get a bit of post-traumatic shock at the end of a treatment cycle, as we get so sucked in to every hurdle, of which there are plenty. A nice BFP for us both will cure us I'm sure!

Pocket - so so happy for you. Hope you're starting to enjoy the fact that your pg - I know it's tough, but just enjoy the moment. Think I was already pushchair browsing and rearranging bedrooms by this stage!! I tend to get a bit carried away....   

Lyns -   You sound like you're really taking control of life, which is brilliant for you, and ones state of mind (not trying to imply there's anything wrong with your mind!). You'll be in a great place to decide what to do next. I hope this is a lucky thread for us all.      

Not much news from me I"m afraid. Slept well last night so that's a good start to the weekend. Generally feeling quite positive about the cycle, and also about the 'it being our last go' thing. Telling myself that if these embies don't work, nothing will. (Well, might do a couple of IUI's if I feel the urge/need!) Saying that I know this stage of the 2ww is always full of hope, whereas next week it will be full of despair.    Hey ho, will enjoy the good week while I can.

Have a lovely weekend ladies.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning girls,

Dannii - great news about your results and your op    Hoping your doggy gets better soon    I also hope your hangover has not made itself known to you yet    I always found a can of Diet Coke and a packet of crisps do the trick (or back in my younger years - two packs of Dairylea Dunkers?!?!   )

Katie - Hope you are doing ok and are slowing down on the organisation front   

Loulou - Hope you managed to get a good night's sleep and feel slightly better this morning    Be easy on yourself sweetie, you've had a tough time lately but remember those embies are best of snuggled inside you now. Remember what you said to me about the mantra?!   

Chris - Glad you managed to sleep well and are feeling positive    You will have up and downs of course, but be compassionate with yourself... I think it's probably allowed    You've had a tough week too.

Lyns -   

AFM, LO was wide awake and ready to play at 4am and then up again at 6.40am today so what with that and getting up for lots of wees in between, I didn't have the best night's kip!    But DH took LO downstairs so I could sleep in a bit longer which was a luxury. Felt quite rough this morning though - not sure if my IBS is playing up a bit    A lazy day for us all I think after what was a stressful start to the week!

Lots of Love to you all xxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Great news Danni but shame about poor Roxie, what a time she's having (and I can't imagine the cost  ) Glad you had a great time last night, my last drunken post was a very tearful one back in late April when DH was a firm no and I'd had to face two preg announcements over dinner and my sis had just given birth - needless to say I was pretty slaughtered!

And as for the rest of you please remember I was "working" so no NG to distract me yesterday and yes, I've totally slowed down today, had a 2 hour nap this afternoon and plan on going to bed after X factor. I'm shattered. (And annoyed, the perfect bed  (we need a small one) we need for NG's new room came back into stock this afternoon at John Lewis and DH wouldn't order it there and then and of course it's out of stock again  )


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Oh girls im so sorry about my drunkn nonsense last night, im suffering for it now. it was my aunts birthday and i got carried away...

chris & loulou big hugs to you both 

pocket how you feeling hun?

lyns hope your ok

what a difference a few months make katie.. belated birthday wishes to you, hows bump? and george? the wee rascal is costing me a fortune but as long as shes improving im happy

hope all the lo's are doing well


off to bed now nite ladies x


----------



## Katie4

Oh Roxie, hangovers are vile. Hope you were back to full health today. George is pretty much mended I'm pleased to say; he's still on one med 3 times a day but that's only for another two weeks. He's also on a new food and v jealous of Harry (our other westie) as he is on the old food and of course Harry wants George's food?!   Male dogs...male humans, they are all the same. 


Had a brill day at a children's theme park today to celebrate my birthday   just the three of us, I got to sit down or take photos while DH ran round like a loonie with NG - and of course I slept in the car on the way home!   It's exhausting.


----------



## PocketRocket

Hello ladies,

Just a quickie to check in and see how you all are   

All ok here - starting to think I've made this pregnancy up    as I feel fine (apart from being tired but think that's LO's fault   ) and so getting desperate for the 7 week scan. Work is boring but at least I am half way through my working week now    LO is refusing to sleep at nights at the mo    Think his teeth have been playing him up and so that was what woke him initially, but since then he has got into a habit of waking up at 2am and staying awake    He was screaming until 4am this morning - it was really just for attention I'm sure as he was dosed up to the eyeballs    Any tips from you guys?! He is almost 18 months now... could it be a separation/tantrum/growth spurt thing!?! Getting desperate for an undisturbed night's sleep - if all goes well then I am guessing they'll be few and far between in the future so want to make the most of it while I can   

Sorry no personals... in a bit of a dolly daydream tonight!

Lots of love and hugs to you all though xxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Pocket, I still think I've made this all up...! Especially as tonight I've been to my special pilates class and my bump has gone! Just shows how slack I've been at pulling everything in! Disturbed sleep is the pits. So, if it's teeth, are you giving calpol and nurofen (or paracetamol and ibuprofen?) You can give both together as they work differently. If so, and he's still waking, other causes could be....lost toy, feeling a bit chilly now it's getting cooler, scared of the dark (although thats a really recent one for us) ....or just one of those things? Sorry not much help 

Loulou and Chris, how's wk 1 going? 

Danni so glad your op is going ahead, know it's all daunting but better out of the way. 

Lyns, think it's this weekend you are off, are you getting excited? 

My house is a tip and I'm tired  (despite a 1.5 hour kip when NG did earlier!)so it's going to have to stay that way. The washing in the machine can have another wash tomorrow!


----------



## lyns76

hi ladies,

Hope everyone is well.

I am ok.....on and off   

Had a lovely day today with little man, lots of fun and laughs and realised how very very lucky i am to have him, he is sooo funny at the moment and is my best mate !!
My clinic called me this morning as i left a message on fri for them to call me back for some info about egg share.
This time the nurse was lovely and told me not to worry about being 35 soon as they will still let you do egg share upto 36.  funnily enough the consultant that i have at my follow up next month is actually the main consultant for egg share so i should be able to discuss it further with her.  I told her that i did have 10 follies last go but only 6 mature eggs but she was still positive about it and said that looking at my meds last time i still have room to increase the dosage wich may help get some more, i will need 8 to be able to share.
its a longish progress and i will have to have a lot of blood tests to make sure i dont carry cistic fibrosis etc but at least it is something that i can look into.........perhaps i am meant to help someone else be a mummy too  
Its not a done deal obviously as it all depends on if i will be accepted, roll on next month when i can get some answers.

whatever happens i wont be doing anything this side of Xmas as i want to enjoy it, not being negative but i couldnt cope with another possible negative this year !

My head is spinning with it all to be honest....last week i was thinking about adoption, just want to complete my family and friggin move on from it all ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH.

looking forward to going awat sat with my two men, still no idea where but not bothered, just want to escape for a day and pretend this isnt happening ha.

hope all the bumps and the embs are doing well........COME ON GIRLS      

Lyns XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Katie - Have been giving Calpol and Nurofen alternately (love that trick!   ) but to be honest I think it is just his teeth. The dribble he is producing is enough to fill a swimming pool! But he must have heard my prayers - he did sleep the whole night through last night.. so fingers crossed we have broken the habit of waking repeatedly - for the time being! But I felt hideous for having slept so well! How does that work!?   

Lyns - Totally understandable that you have good and bad days. But as you say - give yourself a break and enjoy your time with your two boys. I hope you have a wonderful time    Do let us know where you end up!

Loulou and Chris - How are you both? Been thinking of you lots   

Dannii -   

AFM, a long day at work but at least my week is done! I wore an empire line dress today which, if I am feeling bloated (which I am permanently atm - damned Cyclogest), emphasises a bump which may or may not be there - if you know what I mean! But I slung it on today thinking it'd be comfy. One colleague (who thankfully doesn't see me very often but has the tact of a sledgehammer) looked at my belly and said 'Oh, are you having another one then?'    Geeeeez!!! I won't be wearing THAT dress again then!!! I mumbled something about 'Oh god no - this dress is just supposed to hide a multitude of sins'... well, it doesn't buggering do that does it?!   

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

What a cow-bag!!! Please promise you will get your own back next time you see her.


----------



## PocketRocket

I promise! Although I must admit, she is an oddbod. About 62 years old, no kids of her own, no maternal instinct at all therefore no tact when it comes to pregnancies... I was about to say no tact re: IF too, but maybe not havong kids of her own wasn't her choice...


----------



## Katie4

Sounds like an ideal person to be working with kids?! Either way, no empathy - she's a silly mare at best. Make comments about:
A) her bunions
B) the fact that she's nearing retirement but clearly can't afford to give up work or she would have done it by now
C) her varicose veins
D) middle age spread
E) whether she can remember the menopause 
F) her ankle swelling
G) the fact she looks more pregnant than you

Ladies on 2ww hope you are coping ok x


----------



## chrisgib

Hello my lovelies,

how are you doing today?

Pocket - don't worry about looking pregnant - you are! I know you want to keep it under wraps for now, but even so - enjoy every minute. 

Katie - you make me laugh - the mere mention of bunions gets me smiling, and I know they must be really painful, think it's the word!

Lyns, your egg share appointment sounds promising. Must be a real dilemma to know what to do though. I'm not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed with it all. Glad you're squeezing in a few fun quality days with the boys.

Loulou - how are you feeling hun?  going mad?  symptoms?   Hope me blurbing on about mine doesn't make you feel worse - if so, look away now!

OK - me me me! If I'm not pregnant, then I'm doing a good impression of someone who is. Nausea, indigestion, full lower belly feeling, sore boobs, tired - you name it, I've got it. I've had more symptoms this week than in Holly's whole pregnancy I think - other than the fact there was a baby with that one, which I don't know yet with this one. Well, obviously I'm testing already (I know I'm bad   ) but strangely they're all negative - can't be right!   I will obviously be gutted if it's all down to the cyclogest, but surely.....?  Unless it's all in my mind of course. Don't panic, I've ordered a load more tests on amazon, so will have plenty left for OTD, which isn't for another 8 days yet.  

Yesterday I bumped in to the girl that we saw in the clinic who works with DH, she's getting herself in a stew too, but hasn't tested yet, although was in Boots buying tests! She went horse riding at the weekend and was kicking herself for doing that - thankfully though it's made her realise that she won't be riding at all if she does get pregnant. She says that lots of people ride until quite late on. I always though it was one of those things, like water skiing, that you avoid

Just bought a new phone (my first ever smartphone) so that's been my only achievement this week. I know I'm a bit behind.   

Hope you're all having a good day. 

 

Christine
xxx


----------



## lyns76

Aw Christine, sounds VERY promising !!!!!   

Way too early to see a positive on the tests yet so i am so sure they will start changing nearer OTD, to be honest i wouldnt test if i was you, easier said than done i know but i will NEVER test early again, i get myself in a right old state when they are negative, the only time i didnt test till the official date was when i WAS pregnant funnily enough, god knows why i waited on that go.

Sit back and relax for the next week and i am so sure it will be a BFP, had a good feeling about Pocket and got a good feeling for you and loulou too.....oh perhaps i may be phsycic!!!!, i knew i would come up with a new plan to get me to save the money for more treatment, online internet readings lol !!!!

Best of luck to you and loulou xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## lyns76

Just a funny thought/question....has anyone had a reading re pregnancy/children.

I have had a few now and all have said that i will have either two or three but none have picked up that we need help so not holding my breath that they will come true.
One guy last year told me that it would be no longer than 5 years from my first to the second, that he could see the 13 which means i would concieve in 2013 0r give birth in 2013 and i would eventually have three boys and one will very clearly have a 'H' name......my little man is Harry??

I never really paid much attention or thought to mediums/clairvoyants but at times like this i am sure many women look for answers through them!

Anyway i am off to the gym now, lost 7 pounds so far since ivf so feel loads better, just want to loose another 10 now  

Speak soon,

Lyns
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Christine!! You are SO naughty    Testing this early?!!! That's just going to   with your head!!    Naughty girl    Symptoms are confusing though.. especially with the Cyclogest and everything else that's happened to your body lately. I'm really suffering from the progesterone so far..    Hate taking them    But I guess they serve a good purpose   

Loulou - How are you?   

Katie - Thanks for your suggestions re: insulting my colleague! Only some of them will apply though.. she's so thin it's not true! There's more meat on a butcher's pencil, as my dad would say   

Lyns - No, I've never had any readings but have always secretly wanted to.. but been too frightened I think    They aren't supposed to say anything bad though are they? Good for you on losing 7lbs!    When are you off on your trip?

AFM, still winding down from two hectic days at work. Had one of my best friends and her10 month old daughter up for the day which was nice. She's always been so supportive throughout our tx cycles and so it was lovely to see her. Looking forward to a day with my little man all to myself tomorrow though    
Still wishing my life away until the 6th Oct    Ovary pain seems to have eased a little but got a weird cramp earlier which has made me freak out a bit   

Lots of Love to you all my lovely FFs xxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hiyas 

naughty chris  ive never had a tww but im sure i would be the same, things sound promising though 

loulou hope your hanging in there hun 

pocket im sure the next two weeks will feel like forever but it will be so worth it when you see your lil bambino 

katie i would have been exausted with your birthday outing as well 

lyns great news on the weight loss, ive lost 8pounds in the last few weeks and feel brill for it, jeans arent as tight 

oh i had a reading about two years ago. was told that i would be 'rocking two cradles at the same time, both with blue blankets' but that it wouldnt be for a few years... hmmmm well see


----------



## louloumay

Hi Girls!  

Only a quick post from me, sorry. It's been a real struggle not testing (Chris, you bad girl  ) and I'm feeling pretty weird about the whole thing. Bit tearful today, don't know why really.  

Dannnii, how's Roxie?  

Pocket, any more symptoms? Scan soon?  

Lyns  , I had a reading that said I would be pregnant by the summer. Wrong!

Chris, you sound very perky  , everything xed for you 

Katie, how's your bump coming along? has it reappeared?  

love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Sorry - this is all going to be about me. Having one of those days.   

Thanks for not giving me a complete roasting over the testing thing. I know it's bad but I just can't help myself, and while it does mess with my head, I'm not sure my head would cope without it.

I have been feeling quite positive, but all the symptoms, together with my optimism seem to have now evaporated. I feel so stupid for letting myself believe it could happen. I know it's still early days, another week to go; but equally I do need to start preparing myself for the worst. When I think about it logically, i know that this time next week I can start getting on with my life, in whatever direction fate chooses. But on the other hand, that could mean no more babies.    

My new cheapie tests from Amazon arrived today, thankfully the clearblue ones haven't turned up yet, so hopefully they'll get saved until the end of next week.

My acupuncturist this morning was reasonably positive, saying he couldn't detect the start of AF yet, and that the pulses were 'quiet' which he's noticed is sometimes the case in early pregnancy. Difficult not to read too much in to these kind of comments from a quack!

Still got my big heavy tummy, feels like AF is imminent - but maybe that's just all the biscuits I've eaten.

Sorry to be a moaner. Holly on hunger strike too (other than jam sarnies) so that's not helping either.   

Loulou - you're so strong with all this. I'm   that we both get the right answer.

 to you all.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris and Loulou    Sorry to hear you are both having bad days... Wish I could give you both a hug - but instead a virtual one will have to do    I reckon there is a certain point during the 2WW where the relief of having the beanies put back in wears off and despair and pessimism kicks in - think you've both got to that point at the same time    

I know nothing anyone can say will make you feel better but I do understand how you both feel and you really don't know that this hasn't worked. Chris, you're only half way through your 2WW and have got a fair few days left for that hormone to start showing    Loulou - good girl for not testing yet   

Thinking of you both lots and lots xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Thanks Pocket  

I'm not strong Chris, I'm feeling exactly the same as you  , in fact I have been all week, I haven't allowed myself to be positive even once for fear of the crash afterwards, and the only reason I haven't tested is because last time I did I had a positive and then bled the next day and lost it. I can't bear to go through that again. I wish I could say something to help Chris, I keep telling myself I am no worse off than I was before, I still have LO. I've decided (in theory) either outcome is OK, If it's a BFN then at least I won't be knackered for the next decade and terrified for the next 9 months and if it's a BFP then, well, you know..........

Sending you lots of love, I'm right there with you hun xxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh girls! What a tough time you are having. I wish I could make it easier. All your thoughts, emotions, testing (or not) are totally understandable. And loulou I get where you are coming from on the whole feeling desperate to just know what's going on in your life. 

Chris- for this week, just cave, give her jam sarnies, shes at least happily eating something and won't starve - give yourself a break. They serve them every other afternoon at ngs nursery! 

PR - just realised we both have scans on 6th Oct. This thread is getting scarily synchronised! Lol

And for me- well tiring day at work in the office - mixture of compliments on what a neat bump I have to- gosh what a bump you have?! Meanwhile I had to force my boss to at least have an informal chat which would vaguely pass as a risk assessment for my pregnancy. Sigh. Was pointless. Have to be my own advocate. Christ knows how she will react when she discovers the company has to pay for my childcare vouchers out of their own pocket while I'm on mat leave (they are considered a benefit to legally have to be paid but I know it's going to be awful telling her- I'm leaving it until December or poss jan! )

And then asda came, drove their trolley thing full if shopping over my lawn when the path was clear, smashed an egg, put grapes, bananas, onions,a  courgette and 10 apples all in one bag- all loose except the grapes(!), let the ice-cream defrost....I wouldn't mind but I complain most weeks about something but last week went a bit bonkers via email about the same things .....and then dh let ng get my brand new beautiful boots out of the wardrobe and she had a little tinkle and splashed them- they are a sort of nubuck and I've been worrying about money but so desperately needed new flat shoes and boots that when he told me, part chuckling whilst using toilet roll (FFs) to wipe them I lost the plot and cried and cried and cried. In front of ng. :-( all my money worries came out I just couldn't stop. She cuddled me better. Not ideal but it did help! And then I sat down calculated everything and realised - although v minor- I think I've been underpaid on my child benefit since April 2010! Admittedly only by £6 /month but it's better  in my pocket!! So I've emailed them- basically when ng was born the rate was £18 ish a week which is £81.20 /month but since april 2010 its been 20.30 a week or £87 ish a month. Have any of you noticed an increase since apr 2010? Apparently I will hear back in the next 4 weeks so will keep you posted. 

So, sorry to go on and on about rubbish but hope it's distracted you a little? 

And danni and lyns- not forgetting you my lovelies, Oct is important for you both too with an op and your appointment lyns. Not that I'm wishing our lives away!! 

Night night and big hugs to you all x


----------



## louloumay

That, my dear Katie, is precisely why I use Tesco online instead of Asda. They are FRUBBISH!  

Child benefit must owe me money too then, I'll be avin that thankyouverymuch.

Oh and for the record, wee on brand new nubuck boots cleaned off with loo roll would reduce me to tears too


----------



## Katie4

Lol loulou. On all counts! I've always used Tesco but got fed up because they kept bringing stuff with one day shelf like despite me writing notes to the shopper to say must have shelf life of x and so it would take me longer to ace the order and when it came I'd have to check everything. That said it's still quicker to us their site. Think I'm going bac k to them- love the texts telling u when the shopping is coming too. 

Boots are ok, was only a splash but I didn't know that as he held the friggin toilet roll against them!! 

And it seems everyone I know has been underpaid so maybe I've got this wrong? it is just paid monthly isn't it? Not every 4 weeks? Although that still wouldn't sort it? Will def keep you posted on what they say!


----------



## Katie4

Ignore me.....its paid every 4 weeks not by calendar month so is right. Booh had already banked the money! Lol must be v careful at work when doing any maths, am clearly not up to the task. 

Still, good news is my internet connection is down so I'm going to be able to get some other stuff done in peace and quiet today! (whilst still posting thanks to 3G!)


----------



## louloumay

Yeah definitely 4 weekly. Bummer! x


----------



## PocketRocket

Ah Katie - you got my hopes up there about the child benefit! I'm waiting on a tax rebate as it is.. thought I'd be able to get some more money out of the government too   

Loulou - How are you feeling today?   

Chris - Are you ok? Feeling a little better than yesterday I hope   

Dannii -   

Lyns -   

AFM, not much to report.. a day/night on my own as DH is at a rugby social all day and then at a game all day tomorrow (single parenthood for me this weekend   ). Feeling a lot less bloated than I have done of late which I guess is good - just want to get to that 'I actually feel pg' stage, you know?! I still think this is all a dream and I'm going to wake up and someone has played atrick on me    Popped into work today for a quick meeting with the girl I jobshare with (I'm not her biggest fan and the feeling is mutual  but we're getting on better now we're in work on separate days   ) and I have my suspicions that she might be pg with her No. 2    

Will post more later - LO is desperately trying to shut the laptop on me awhilst demanding I turn on the 'foofer' (hoover)    He's obsessed by it.. is that really wrong?! Or does it mean I've trained him well?!   

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Pocket - ha, I'm not sure that Holly knows what a hoover is!  Good training on your part I'd say.  Hope your meeting went well today, sounds best that you don't see too much of each other. I'm single parenting too this weekend as DH is going off to see his friends for a sailing weekend. Not quite sure when I'll get my weekend away.   

Katie - the CB thing was worth a try - keep looking. You'll make us our millions yet. Glad you're getting good comments about your bump - ignore the other ones if you don't like them, but nothing wrong with a big bump!

Lyns - Not sure I'd be brave enough to have a reading, bit of a chicken really. Maybe should have done that 20 years ago! Your fitness/wightloss is inspirational, I think I'm steadily putting on everything that I lost.  I've told my friend that if my test is negative, I will lose 2 stone by xmas, if it's positive, I'll put on 2 stone by xmas; being the fabulous friend she is, she said she would join me whatever the outcome.   

Dannii - Hi, hope you're Ok. How's Roxie doing?

Loulou - hope today has been Ok for you - only a week to go. Are we testing on the same day? (Thurs?)

AFM, Feeling Ok today. Holly been much better which I think is the key really. Thanks Katie for your sympathy on the jam sandwich thing. Reassuring to know that nursery thinks it's OK. Problem is that H was on them at every meal yesterday! Done 2 more tests today, both negative, but still have this weird sense that it will come good. Probably just kidding myself, but I know there's still time. Remember last time is wasn't positive until the actual day. I should learn really.

Right - think I'm going to go shopping now and stock up on M&S yummies for while I"m home alone - dangerous me thinks.

Have a lovely weekend.

Christine
xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

M&S yummies...   Damn you Chris for putting that idea into my head    Shame they aren't doing their Meal for Two this weekend... that'd be my dinner sorted for Friday and Saturday   

Glad you're feeling better sweetie   

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi all,

Glad you're feeling better Chris. I caved in and tested today   It was negative, obviously.

Well done with the hoover pocket, let's hope the obsession lasts! 

love to everyone


----------



## Katie4

Argh no Internet nor virgin tv till Tuesday!!! Thank god for 3G!!

So sorry about the child benefit. Am still gutted! 

Right, first things first- an m and s meal for two would represent my dinner - for one day! Lol
Chris, what goodies did you get? Glad Holly has been happier today. And as for repetitive food - I know my sister ate lamb chops every night for well over 6 months as it was the only thing shed eat at the age of 2 and a half and of course she grew up into an adult who eats everything! If the jam sandwich thing lasts months I'd worry but days to 
weeks- just let her get on with it. Honestly ng ate cheese on toast till it came out of her ears a few months ago. Sorry the tests were negative and yours loulou but you both know it's still too early... ;-)

PR - well that's job sharing to the extreme, planning combined 2nd mat leaves! Remember I've been where you are v recently. It's a v funny time and I think it's only now I'm really believing it. 

Loulou, danni and lyns, hope you are all ok. 

I'm a solo parent this weekend too - dh and BIL Off out tomorrow so ng and I are clearing out to the in laws- they get quality time, I get a rest and to miss much of dh's hangover! Does mean I won't get an afternoon nap either day though as we will be driving then but you can't have it all! 

Right off to bed, night night x x


----------



## chrisgib

Good morning all,

I've just tested again and guess what - it came up as positive (1-2 weeks on a clearblue).    I'm thrilled, but now beating myself up for testing early again just in case it doesn't stick. Not complaining, one hurdle at a time and I'm going to enjoy planning my life and buggy research this weekend while I'm home alone!  Poor DH, I rang and texted him this morning but he's not come back to me yet, so not sure if he knows. 

I did admit to early testing last night though and he was cool with it, as I' explained why I had to do it - ie. to cope with his 'inappropriate' comments if it's negative!!  He just says 'oh dear' to any bad news, whether it be running out of bread, or a death in the family!  Men.   

Anyway, for today - everything in the world is good. One day at a time.

Sorry Loulou - I know this will inevitably add more pressure on to you - I'm praying that we both have BFP's on OTD.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Fab news Chris!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## PocketRocket

Chris - that is fab news!! Fingers crossed that little beanie sticks   

Loulou - How are you doing? Have you tested any more?   

Katie - Hope you enjoy your weekend of rest at the in-laws!   


Dannii, Lyns -   

AFM, am sat downstairs with a cup of tea and chocolate biscuits waiting for LO to finish his tantrum. I put him to bed a little earlier for his morning nap as he has been doing a good two hours in the morning, but not waking until 12pm and am meeting a friend for lunch at that time today - so wanted him to get a few zzz's in beforehand so we aren't late. Well, that was a stupid idea as he obviously didn't feel ready to go to sleep and has been screaming his head off for 45 minutes now.    Kids eh - who'd 'ave 'em?!   

Enjoy your weekends girls xxx


----------



## Katie4

Congratulations Chris!!! Erm, when was your official test date? This Tuesday? Terrific news. Well done  (sorry no emoticons- can't work out how to do them on the phone!) 

Pocket- it's just typical isn't it?! Glad u rnt stressed out by it though

Am now realising packing for one night is not wOrth it! 

Those of you with toilet trained children- any advice on what feels like a prolonged relapse? Ng has been trained with only the odd accident for 8 months- by that I mean one or two aweek. But since late august (so when we told her the new baby is coming and she had a v traumatic nursery room move) she's been regularly losing control and doing a bit of a wee before she will say she needs to go. And, she's started to do the same with poohs. We've tried rewards but then she doesn't tell us or nursery about the wet knickers so she still gets the reward buy also got sore.she's definitely got control because she will we on demand (we've had wee wee protests in the naughty corner) it's driving me bonkers. I have thought today that she's now drinking much more than before - half a cup compared to up to 2 at breakfast so that's not helping but it's throughout the day. And yet at night I can leave her without a nappy on for 2+ hrs and she will be awake for an hour of that and yet no wee? 

Any suggestions or just "we've been there" comments would help.


----------



## sanfrancisco

Chris-congratulations! You give me hope,it at first you don't succeed try and try again xx

Katie-no advice reg potty training except I think it's normal.My ds is potty trained since April,but we still have a lot of accidents,although weve cracked the poos-I think Ds is always worse when tired and will often only tell me when he has already weed.Fron what others tell me it's normal.Hope your pregnancy is oing ok xx

Pocket-hope you ok,when is your scan? xx

Hi to everyone else,I like having a read of this thread although don't post often xx

Had a setback with treatment,so very   at the moment.Changed clinics,cause was getting a bit annoyed with the way they were treating us,considering how much money we were giving them .They gave me a very thorough scan in the new clinic and think they can see a hydrosalpinx.I have been having pelvic pain for 2 years ,hsg was clear 6 months ago.Due to were it is,they suspect I have had a mild infection following egg collection which has buggered me up.To say that we are devastated is an understatement.We had ivf after only 18mths of trying due to poor semenalisys and my age.DH sperm is now pretty good,so diagnosis is unexplained.I know that I definitely had no pelvic problems before ivf,so feel that I am to blame.We should have been more patient and ttc au naturel for a bit longer,now my fertility is seriously compromised!Now waiting for a lap and dye and possible tube/s removal.Ca't quite come to terms with possibly not having tubes and never having a suprise pregnancy Sorry ladies ,just need to offload,as I know you ladies know the pain/desperation and the feeling of being incomplete at being unable to provide a sibling for you lo's) xx


----------



## Tillypops

Yay Chris, brilliant news!


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks everyone - still can't quite believe it, so will be testing continually until OTD to make sure it's still there! 

SanFran - please don't be so hard on yourselves. We all make the best decisions with what we know at the time. Hopefully your new clinic will put you back on track. So sorry you're having such a rough time.   

Katie - potty training - I'm no expert, you were way ahead of me. I've only done Holly recently and she's older than your LO I think. However, lots of friends have experienced temporary setbacks like this - often due to changes like the nursery thing. I wouldn't have thought it would be baby related, she can't really fully understand the implications of all that yet can she? Or maybe the novelty of it all has just worn off and she's bored with it. Not sure what to suggest though, other than bribery. They can't be good at everything, so just do lots of rewarding on the good stuff she's doing that maybe you take for granted. (Eating, sleeping, naps, manners etc)
That comes from me, and the only thing Holly is good at is using the toilet!! She's gone completely off the rails!

 to everyone. Thanks so much for all your support, I'm feeling quite emotional.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Bless u Chris, of course you are. And thanks to both you and sanfran for your comments. And actually her manners and sleeping and eating now I come to think of it aren't doing too badly at the mo so I'll just have to keep going and count my blessings. Boredom is def possibility as life seems more exciting for her than ever right now. And to even get her to sit on the potty or toilet costs a smartie! 9 x out of 10 she will wee then too so she gets a 2nd one for that! Wish stickers were still novel! 

Sanfran, oh sweetie, it's a catch 22, if you'd left it longer you could have bEen kicking yourself. Of course adverse effects of treatment which then cause problems down the line are just awful to deal with too. At least dh's count is up, that's great. And even if they recommend that both tubes are removed remember they aren't needed for treatment and you can't have an ectopic then too. Not really a silver lining but a practical positive to keep in the back of your mind. Hope that comes across as I meant it,  Big hugs.


----------



## PocketRocket

Morning girls   

Oh SanFran - sorry to hear you are having a tough time of things at the moment    I can understand your feelings about blaming yourself - but please go easy on yourself! It really isn't your fault... you and DH did what was right for you at the time and went for the only option that was available to you given your situation - there was no way you'd have known this could happen. If we all lived thinking 'what if...?' then we would constantly be feeling guilty and regretful about everything! As Katie said, you don't need your tubes for any future tx - you've got everything esle you really need so try to focus on just that. This journey is horrible I know - but you know where we are if you need to offload    Stay   

Chris - Hope you're feeling ok today    Of course you're feeling emotional... I'd be concerned if you weren't!! Have you tested again?! I'm seriously thinking about buying some more tests to do before the 6th   

Katie - Hope you're ok   

Loulou - How are you doing today? Any more tests?   

Dannii and Lyns - Hope you guys are well and keeping   

Lots of Love to you all xxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening, everyone ok? 

Dh has been ill all weekend so have been sole parent in my own home and been worrying about him. It's a recurring yet to be diagnosed condition (so far gall bladder issues have been ruled out) which just hits and wipes him out for 36-48 hrs with stomach pains. Started in may. Not posted about it as Ive freaked myself out repeatedly about what it might be (my dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was pregnant with ng and died before she was 6 months old so you can imagine where my minds been) - it's unlikely to be serious in the same way but I'm still v scared at points. He's coming through this bout again now and we r back at the gp for a referral this week so hopefully we will get some answers in the next few months but I wanted to share as it might make it less worrying. 

So enough about me. We are ok and let's face it could end up with a diagnosis of IBS! 

Chris hope u finally got in touch with dh?! 

Loulou - hope you are holding up sweetie.

Lyns- good weekend away? Where did u end up? 

Danni - how are u and roxie? Thinking about next week? Or actively not? 

Sanfran, hope you are giving yourself an easier time x 

Pocket, only 11 sleeps till scan day. Hope work goes ok this week. 

Night night girls x


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Katie,   I hope DH gets a diagnosis soon, the uncertainty is agonising. Is he feeling better today, or will he be spending a few days at home off work? Let's hope it is IBS, as painful as that is.

DH got home quite early last night, so I happily handed the Holly reins over to him and I just sat and vegged all evening.  Still testing and still 1-2 weeks - so happy with that. Can't help but be paranoid about ectopic but don't think I'll be able to get that checked out for at least another 2 weeks. I'm going to phone the clinic today anyway, and see what they say. I don't think a blood test would help, and guess there would be nothing to see on a scan yet. Even last time they couldn't see it on the scan and that was at about 7 weeks. I make such a meal of everything, if I 'd gone straight from Holly's cycle to this one I wouldn't have a care in the world.

Just phoned clinic - sorry, got distracted from my reply.    Scan booked for the 13th October (6w2d) assuming we make it that far. Had to argue with them as they were trying to make me go to the EPU - never mind that I've 'paid' for the scan with them - had to use that argument in the end to make them do an early scan, in the end it was only brought forward 5 days - they make a right meal of it.

Loulou - how are you doing hun? Still another few days til OTD, so don't be giving up yet.     

Pocket - hope work goes Ok this week. Not long to go til your scan too - how are you feeling?

Lyns - please tell me you got really drunk and had a brilliant weekend, does your fitness plan allow that?

Danni, Sanfran   

Christine
xx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Chris fab news hun, delighted for you x 

girls the hosp rang this morning, they had a cancellation and asked would i be able to come in? i said yes so have to be there at 8am
have been rushing about like mad all day, jodies going to my parents house for a few days not too sure about rox yet


will catch up later as on phone now

xx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Chris! Well let's hope your scan is the last time you will be there. Cheeky so and sos! 

Dh made it in today, think he's tender but ok. Gp appt for Thursday evening. All 3 of us are going. I have pushy wife questions to ask. And, at least this will give me time to speak to our private medical insurance people to work out exactly what we have in terms of cover, when the next year's set of cover starts etc. 

Gosh, danni that's great. Good luck x


----------



## natalie34

Christine - I know we have chatted via PM about your fantastic news but just wanted to post on here too to say a massive well done, and it's great to see your daily testing is still giving you that fabulous BFP    


Can't believe the clinic    - something to add to your feedback form to them!


Nat


x x x


----------



## chrisgib

Great news Dannii - good luck. So much better when you don't have too much time to worry about these things. 

Katie - love the pushey wife thing. Wish all DH/P's would realise that they need 'help' with these things. 

Thanks Natalie. I think I just don't fit very neatly in to how the clinic thinks things should be run! The nurse was pleasant enough on the phone at least, so that's progress on last time. I have done a whole essay on my latest feedback form, including how their questionnaire is so offputting for anyone to respond!  They must love me.   

Have a good day all.

Christine
xx


----------



## lyns76

Hiya girls

WOWEEEE WELL DONE CHRIS, KNEW YOU COULD DO IT THIS TIME !!!!!!    
Everything will be just fine, just sit back, relax and enjoy it all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Got back at 8pm last night from a fab weekend in..........BLACKPOOL    
Not very romatic but we really had such a fantastic time and H loved the lights, he also loves the million and one flashing swords and teddies he come home with!!
Very nice break and good weather too so all in all a great weekend with lots of fun and laughs...just what we all needed.

Got our short break next weekend in Great Yarmouth too and then its all the hospital crap all over again so just trying to chillax a bit before all the madness begins.

Really hope this turns out to be a lucky thread for you all and loulou i am soooo   that you get a BFP too sweatheart.

As for me.....well i guess we will just have to wait and see what happens after our follow up that i have gotta bl**dy, f*cking, sh*tting pay for again!!!!!   

Take care all and catch up soon.

Lyns
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

I do have a lot to catch up on when I am at work don't I?!   

Lyns - So glad you had a fantastic weekend    It doesn't matter where you go sometimes... a break from the norm does you the world of good. I totally understand your frustration at having to pay for the privilege of having children.. I think I've expressed my feelings about some Neanderthals (that's my polite word for them   ) who can pop them out like peas and then can't manage to look after them properly    But don't let me get started   

Katie - Poor you having to look after and worry about DH    Can understand you being so worried but sometimes it's the 'not knowing' that makes it all worse. Great that you are going to the GPs together too - men never think to ask the right questions    Do let us know how you get on.

Chris - Great news that you're still testing positive    Good for you making sure that you got your scan that you were perfectly entitled to as well! Try not to worry about the whole 'what could go wrong' thing (says me   ) - you've had your turn with that.. now it's your turn for things to go right   

Loulou - How are you doing my lovely? Thinking of you lots   

Dannii - What fantastic news about your op!!    It's time to get this show on the road!! As much as it's all been a rush getting things organised, it's probably best that way so you don't have a chance to worry or stress    Best of Luck!

SanFran - Hope you're bearing up and feeling a little brighter today   

AFM, work was crap today    My class were bearable and so that was fine.. just cannot stand my new head. She's so 'old school' (pardon the pun) and after having a headteacher who was very 'forward thinking' and driven... she's now just taking us all back to the Dark Ages! I just want to shake her    That said, I also don't give a   about work so I don't really know why I'm letting it get to me.
Still counting down the hours to the scan - just want to know if everything is all right   

Pocket xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Girls,

Do any of you know about taking peppermint capsules during pregnancy? I usually take them instead of the tea if I am feeling bloated and uncomfortable.. I'd say I've taken about 3/4 of them since the 2WW - I am panicking that I shouldn't have taken them    I have posted a question on the pharmacist thread and they haven't been able to give me a straight answer yet... all of the advice on the internet is so conflicting - some sites say it's fine, others say to use it in moderation, some say to avoid the oil entirely as it can cause defects!!!!!!!    Am worried now - just wonderd if any of you guys knew??

PR xxx


----------



## Katie4

Hi! 

PR I've had a look at the product literature and basically it's safety hasnt been established in pregnancy (like most drugs- as you can't do clinical trials on preg women for obvious reasons). So, the possible risks to the baby have to be weighed against the benefit to the mum. Now, what they do say is that it's metabolised v quickly so doesn't linger around which can be taken as a positive. So I wouldn't worry about the ones you have taken but would chat with your gp about taking them now and again as they can ask the local medicines information service to do a detailed search on it's use in pregnancy. and maybe stick to the tea or polos for now? 

Hope that helps and glad your children were good today. Ignore the head and start counting the weeks till mat leave. 

Am v emotional and anxious again tonight. Just can't switch off. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more normal, work, Internet mended...maybe I need a Zita cd?! 

Good luck again danni. Will be thinking of you x


----------



## PocketRocket

Thanks Katie    What do you do for a job? You're very clued up on the old medicines!! I think I'll avoid it for the time being - not really keen on taking anything that hasn't been proved safe either way. Tea and mints all the way for me! As long as the ones I've taken haven't done any harm    Tnank you   

It's no wonder you're feeling anxious - you've got a lot on your plate at the mo. I have got a copy of the Zita pregnancy cd that my acupuncturist has lent me.. if you want me to send it to you so you can make a copy - just inbox me! I don't need to give it back to her until mid October at my next appointment. As you say, maybe a busy day at work will take your mind off things!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

No problem sweetie. I seriously wouldn't worry at all about what you have taken. Honestly, don't give it a 2nd thought.  

Have woken up with a bit more of a sense of humour this morning so a good sleep and hopefully dropping hormone levels (I've clearly had a fresh batch delivered in the last few days!) Will stand me in good stead for a calmer, more normal day all round! (who am I kidding?! I'm waiting in for the virgin engineer to fix my Internet and v+ box- please let him crack it- dh is lost without his computer! And I've got to work in the office this week rather than from home if he doesn't- how inconvenient!) 

Thinking of you danni, hope you are one of the first on the list x x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Dannii - hope today's gone well - assume they're keeping you in overnight, or have they thrown you out for unruly behaviour?!  Seriously, hope it has all gone smoothly and you make a quick recovery.

Katie - still got a sense of humour, or has it run out? How was the office - or did you spend all day gassing to people you haven't seen for ages!! (that's what I used to spend my work life doing, oh and spending every day taking people to lunch to try and stop them resigning!) How's DH doing?

Pocket - don't be too hard on yourself, I'm sure we all do things that are borderline. e.g. I see lots of preggo people eating Mr Whippy ice cream, or a rare steak - sure they're more risky that your peppermint things. (hope I haven't put my foot in it saying these examples - someone please correct me if I'm wrong.)

Lyns - so glad you had a lovely weekend - you really are getting round the country - whereabouts do you live?

Loulou - hope no news is good news. We are here for you either way.

I've just turned in to a bully. Just been on the phone to the GP to see if they'll do bloods for me as I want to know the HCG levels, think i'll find it reassuring if they're increasing. Hope I don't regret asking. Also asked them to prescribe Cyclogest for the first trimester - both of which they're happy to do if it helps me relax and stop bugging them (they didn't say that last bit!) I spoke to the nurse practitioner who is truly lovely, and knows the journey I've had for the last year or so - think she'd have done anything, couldn't think what else to ask for! Appears there no evidence that the cyclogest helps in the first trimester, but equally it doesn't do any harm. Yet so many clinics use it for the extended time, I don't understand why they're all so different.  I'm still doing dailing testing, but it's still saying 1-2 weeks, which I know is correct, but thought it might have changed by now - hence the bloods.

I'm sounding all a bit paranoid I know. So grateful to be here, but so desperate for it to go the whole way this time.

Had a lovely day today in the park - even the sun came out this afternoon. Holly's become a nudist though, thinks clothes are yucky, oh to feel that free and uninhibited!

Christine
xxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi All,

Chris, i live in the Midlands in Warwickshire which is central so ideal really for closeish holiday destinations    

Will try and catch up but got a mad week this week, H starts pre school Thurs and its also my Birthday so got a girly night out on Friday x

Take care all,

Lyns

xxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Just a quickie to send you all my love   

Glad you've requested bloods and more Cyclogest Chris - my clinic offer them up until 12 weeks.. I hate using them and they cost a fortune privately but I wouldn't dare not take them!    Let us know how you get on with your bloods.

Dannii - Hope all went well today   

Loulou - Really hope you're ok   Understand you might be wanting to stay away at the mo but am worried about you   

Katie - Hope you are feeling better today and that a busy day has taken your mind off things    Noticed you must have your 20 week scan soon.. are you going to find out the flavour?!   

Lyns - Good luck for your manic week ahead (and LO starting pre-school   )... I've got one of those next week!! In fact, all weeks are like that at the moment   

AFM, sooo glad it's my Friday   Decided that being in the classroom isn't actually too bad at the moment... it's the staff politics that drive me    I was awake from 2-4.30am thinking about work this morning.. why?!?!! Then LO woke up at 5.30am    Early to bed for PR tonight   

Lots of Love xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hi girls,

Don't worry Pocket, I'm ok. I've been better but life goes on. Just wanted to let you know. Still testing negative, otd tomorrow so I'm pretty sure I'm not pg. I don't feel like I am.

Please don't tell me not to give up yet. I don't want to get my hopes up! Just waiting for af to come so it can really sink in. 

That's it for us now, no more tx. Time to move on.

Sorry for the miserable me post, I just thought I should let you all know the result, you've all been so great over the last year. 

Hope you guys are all well  

Lot's of love to you fab ladies xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Loulou    So sorry    Life can be so bloody unfair.
Promise me that you'll do something really naughty when you feel up to it    like an expensive holiday or city break, a spa day with your best friend or just go out and get hideously pis*ed? It'll do you the world of good.

You know where we are...

Pocket xxxx


----------



## louloumay

Thanks Pocket xx


----------



## Tillypops

Just wondering if it is worth me setting up a Pregnancy and Parenting thread on this board, so that those of you lucky enough to get another BFP can post about your pregnancies in detail without worrying about upsetting other members who are still trying?

It wouldn't mean pg ladies not posting within this thread and offering their support to their friends, but would give you more scope to chat about your worries and concerns during your pregnancy and then after the birth.

What do you think?

Tilly
xxxx

PS: loulou - so sorry hun. I agree with Pocket, do something outrageous when you feel up to it. xxxx


----------



## lyns76

loulou -   I feel your hurt sweatheart, i dont want to get your hopes up i promise but just see what tomorrow brings   
Whatever the final outcome is just remember you ARE a mummy and no-one can ever take that away from you, be proud of how damn hard you have tried to fulfill your dreams......you never know whats around the corner with regards to how you may feel about trying again or persuing other ways of having a second child......thats what keeps me going.  Here if you need me xxxx
Give that little one of yours a big kiss and cuddle, i find it always helps me and time is a healer xxx

pocket, hope you are well....i am not at all upset about little one starting pre school, feel more proud than anything and he is soooo ready for it !! he loves playing with other kids and he does role play all day long so he will love some interaction.  He's 3 going on 16 to be honest and even though i say it myself he is very mature and advanced for his age, i am so sure he will be going to drama school when he is bigger !!!

Chris and katie, hope you are both well and relaxing xxxx

Dannii, hope everything has gone ok xx

All my love to everyone else

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Loulou-so sorry,I know it hurts so much.You have done your best and could do no more.You will be able to tell your dd that you did your utmost to have a sibling.I know we are mummies and are very lucky,but the pain of not being able to complete our families is so raw and the joy and love for our lo's just makes us just so aware of how much love and room we have in our hearts for another one.You won't think it now but time will be a great healer and your dd will be just fine.Loads and loads of   and  that tomorrow brings unexpected but positive news   xx


----------



## chrisgib

Oh Loulou  - sh1t sh1t sh1t - this wasn't meant to be the answer.    I pray that you get a nice surprise in the morning.    I don't want to patronise you though - we all know how much it hurts. The others have given some good words/advice, just take it when you feel ready. Cuddle your DD and indulge her, you can't spoil her with love.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do next.   


 to everyone.

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Thanks for all your lovely words   

I'm ok. Really.  

As you said Lyns, I AM a mummy, and if I am honest I started preparing for this ages ago. I really wouldn't want anyone to think they can't discuss the ups and downs of their pregnancies on my account. I'm lucky enough to have been pregnant and I don't begrudge anyone on this thread (or on ff as a whole for that matter) their well deserved happiness. 

Love to all xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Oh loulou, I hope you are wrong. Life is so v v unfair sweetie though if you aren't.  Be kind to yourself over the coming days and weeks. Even if you have prepared yourself, there will still be a lot to get used to. Treatment, tests, results, appointments - it's been such a big part of your life, it will take time to get used to it being filled by something else. 

We are here for you and I'm sure I speak for us all when I say the support and kindness  you have shown has been so appreciated by each of us while we all take steps through  our complicated, confusing and down right impossible on some days  journeys. 

Hope your dh is being lovely? 

Huge Ff hug to you. X


----------



## Dannii_Doots

hey my lovelies

lou-lou i have no words that could possibly make this better, just know that im thinking of you tonight my lovely fertility friend  
hope everyone else is well, and im happy to hear all about your pregnancys also, those little miracles are helping me keep the faith that this can and does work 

afm- still in hosp, everything went as well as expected which is all i could hope for, the tubes were removed completly, and lots of adhesians taken away. have been awful sick since the op, fingers x'd im allowed home tomorrow or i'll stamp my feet like a defiant toddler 

nite all x


----------



## Katie4

Morning ladies. 

Loulou, thinking of you today  

Danni, I'm so sorry you have been so poorly but hope they will let you out. Do remember though, this is the NHS so if they say no, you mustn't fight it, they only keep those they really need to!   Hope you aren't too sore. 

Big hugs x x


----------



## chrisgib

Hello everyone,

Enjoying the sunshine?   

Loulou - still thinking of you hun, hope you're OK.   

Dannii - are you home?  Hope you're OK too, sounds like you've had a tough time, but you're through the worst now and can let yourself focus on more positive things. Hope Roxie, and of course DD, coped with you being away.

Pocket - how are you feeling - not long til your scan now. How many weeks will you be when you have it?  Are you getting any symptoms?

Katie - when's your next scan?  Must be soon.  Are you going to squeeze in another holiday before the baby arrives?!

Lyns - talking of holidays, what are you going to do next? Good luck with your follow up appointment - hope it's worth every penny.   

Well, predictably, I'm running away to Cornwall tomorrow, back to St Ives. Can't wait, especially if the weather stays good it will be beautiful. I had my first HCG result back this morning (144), bit meaningless til we get the next one, but I was a bit disappointed that it wasn't higher. Having said that, I've spoken to people whose levels were much lower and it was all ok, so trying not to worry too much. I'll hopefully get the next result this evening, but possibly not until Monday.  Unless my phone works in the holiday house (unlikely as coverage is rubbish generally), I'm not sure I'll be online much next week.  I hope that you all have a good week, and those with appointments get to hear/see the answers they're after.

Thanks again to you all for the ongoing support throughout this rollercoaster ride. I'd have gone completely mad without you over the last year or so.   

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Have a terrific time Chris, hope the results come through and you have a brilliant time. Is this weather going to last? No hols for us now, just house jobs (I've ordered NG's new bed, agreed the paint for her room, got the measuring lady coming over on Wed to do the blind (save me messing it up  ) ordered her a new duvet and cover - and really need to get DH out into the garage but I suppose not until NG has moved rooms so I can use hers as a dumping ground). 

PR and I both have scans on Thur so I'm sure we will be on here getting all anxious over the coming days.   

Loulou sweetie, thinking of you x   

Lyns - enjoy this weekend too. Hope you can make the most of the nice weather. 

Danni, fingers crossed you are out and being cuddled by your gorgeous DD while Roxie licks crumbs from all the nice biscuits you should be eating whilst recouperating. 

Sanfran, you ok? 

Right have a deadline....


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi girls,

Hope you are all ok and staying cool in this freak heatwave   

Chris - Have a wonderful time away in Cornwall..    Would love a break right now! Try not to worry about your blood test result - as you say, it's meaningless until you get the next one so just try to relax and enjoy   

Loulou - Hope you're ok sweetie   

Lyns - Hope all is well with you and that DS got on well at pre-school    He sounds like a right character, bless him    Do I remember you saying it's your birthday and you're going out for a girly night tonight?? If so, have a brilliant time and down a few shots for us all   

Dannii - How are you doing? Have you been discharged yet? Hope you're feeling better   

Katie - You sound as though you've got everything well and truly organised re: housey jobs (what have we told you about this before?!   ). 

Tillypops - I love the idea of the new thread - thank you   

AFM, we went car shopping today - the first major thing on our list to do! It's something we need to get sorted anyway regardless of how everything pans out      as I own a Peugeot 107 (a car out of a cracker, my DH calls it   ) and although I have managed with it for almost three years, getting fed up with struggling with a 3dr, LO and long for the luxury of putting the WHOLE buggy into the boot along with a couple of bags of shopping    Besides, if all does work out then we will need more space for obvious reasons.

Woke up feeling a little anxious about everything today    Perhaps because the scan is getting nearer - who knows? Thought I noticed some brown blood when I went to the loo but if I am rational, calm and honest with myself, I think it was actually that my CM was just slightly darker in parts than normal    (sorry if TMI!!) and I had to really scrutinise the tissue to come to this conclusion       Called the clinic anyway and the nurse was so nice... said that it happens all the time (it happened to her too) and that I should take an extra pessary for a couple of days. But after I had spoken to her I felt a bit silly as not sure what I described as spotting was really that at all    This waiting is turning me   

Anyway, enough of my waffle. 

Lots of Love to you all xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Sorry PR, I'm a lists gal! Can't you tell?! Lol. Actually doing what I can in case my pelvis goes again (last time was unable to walk without crutches from 37 weeks which also meant housebound and in blumin agony and literally
I couldn't do a thing so while I'm still able bodied I need to get a wriggle on! That said even the thought of attempting b and q for the paint makes me yawn! Lol) 

As for spotting, really hope u aren't but the extra pessaries might reassure you? And yes anxiety is def setting in here so can understand yours too. It's quite subtle at the mo but I'm edgy so it's def there. Prob because we had to go back at 24 weeks because my amniotic fluid was low last time so I spent 4 weeks thinking prem labour was upon me. 'twas all fine though and prob down to dehydration due to hot weather! Didn't think that would be an issue this time! Lol

Hope everyone is doing ok tonight. This heat is bonkers- I'm ready for autumn! 

Lots of love 

K x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

hi girls 

just a quick one tonight 
i'm home! got out yesterday, stitches out today and scars healing nicely  feeling achey and tired but otherwise fine and being looked after very well 

will be back properly tomorrow lovelies x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

is everyone ok??


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

It's been very quiet on here lately...  I don't like it    

Dannii - Great news about you being home!    Good to hear you are feeling fairly chipper too, all things considered!

Chris - Hope you're enjoying your time away   

Lyns - How was your birthday celebration?   

Loulou - How are you doing?   

Katie - Hope all is well with you and Bump    PS. I knew what you meant about the hot weather.. it was a bit freaky I thought.. although the four hours spent in the pub garden on Sunday was quite nice   

SanFran -   

AFM, not much to report... just counting down the hours until the scan    Excited and nervous really. Think people at work might have guessed as the girl I jobshare with has just announced her pregnancy.. figured I'd get the comments I did last time ie. 'It'll be you next'/'When are you going for number two', etc etc... but no one has said a thing... which I think is a little weird!

Hope you're all ok xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Quick one from me- I'm on borrowed time with a sleeping beauty situation but daren't move from bed as she'll stir! Lol

Hope everyone is holding up ok, at least it's Wednesday so pockets finished work and we are nearly half way throug the week! (sorry Chris, not wishing away your hol!) 

I feel v unprepared for tomorrow's scan - it's such a big deal and I'd usually be super nervous and excited but I've barely had a chance to think about it so i feel like I've missed our a bit on the anticipation ( that prob makes no sense?!) I'm sure I'll go into overdrive in the next 24 hrs though to make up for it! 

Not ready to know flavour so shan't be asking but know I will be looking - work that one out?! 

Back later x


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

Just a quickie as on silly phone.

Good luck pocket and katie for tomorrow. I'm thinking of you.  

Everything good with me, holiday is lovely. We were so lucky to get some sunny days on the beach.

Love to you all. Will catch up properly at the weekend.

Christine 
Xx


----------



## Katie4

Hope you're ok PR. Dh suitably tired a grumpy tonight (we were out late seeing Alan Carr last night; much funnier for me than him but I'm no good at night- I was ready for home and bed by the end of the first half!) so no excited chats about tomorrow- that said he's never one to get excited! Am now wondering if I should be taking ng- she did see the 8 week scan but we didn't explain what it was and she wasn't at the last one because I had to see my consultant so was in clinic for 3 hours and fortunately it was a nursery day- there were so many bored children in the waiting room.  Suppose after her 20 week scan (low amniotic fluid, had to be rescanned at 24 weeks, spent a month on knicker watch thinking prem labour was likely and that I might lose her) I don't want her there in case we have to process worrying info. Nothing like being optimistic ! 

PR what time is your scan? Is it at your clinic? Ours is 10am so reckon we will be in for 10.45. 

Chris so glad you are having a good hol. 

Lyns, how was this weekend? I so want to take ng to Blackpool now- I'm from southport originally so seaside towns are v familiar to me and we went to Blackpool lights every year with brownies! 

Loulou sweetie, how are you? 

Danni- how are you now? Do you have a follow up appointment? 

Sanfran, how's this week for you? 

Right off to try to sleep x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi guys,

Just a quickie to let you know that all went well at the scan    A beautiful little heartbeat was seen and Beanie is the right size for his/her dates. Very relieved, although TBH it still hasn't sunk in yet?! I need to relax a bit more and start being a little more positive, me thinks!

Katie - How did you get on?

Chris - So glad you're having a good holiday    How lucky were you with the freak weather?! Not long until your scan now!

Loulou - How are you lovely?   

Lyns - Hope you are doing ok   

San Fran - Hope things are better for you   

Dannii - Hope you are feeling less bruised and battered now   

Lots of Love,

Pocket xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Great news pocket,    hope you will be a little more reassured now. Was it at your clinic? When is your midwife booking appointment? Soon? 

We were very lucky too. We got to see all sorts of body parts and organs - although I have to admit other than the general outline, the legs, feet, heart and spine it was all a bit grey! At one point he was pointing out the aorta and then the pulmonary artery...that would be a thin black blob to you and I!   We saw loads of pelvic shots, still haven't a clue though   (I'd checked online and the little testicles don't descend until next week so for me to guess it would need to be a willy or no willy (I think the sonographers go off pelvic shape?) and we didn't get that kind of angle which I'm pleased about as I'm loving the excitment of not knowing   Plus, as I said to DH in the car, knowing would mean more work right now as I'd either have to shop for boy things or sort out NG's old stuff and although I will need to do at least the latter to get the white and cream bits out, anything I can put off for a while is good for me. Even exciting things like shopping for baby boy clothes. My to do list is too long.   

Hope everyone is doing OK? It's gone v cold again heasn't it? (Never satisfied, too hot, too cold....  )


----------



## chrisgib

Great news pocket & katie. Such a relief.  

Chat soon
Christine
Xxx


----------



## PocketRocket

Katie - so glad the scan went well    xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Thanks sweetie.you too.


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Katie and pocket so pleased your scans went well today 

chris hope your having a great time on your holiday 
  
loulou lyns sanfran 

afm- feeling physically better each day. off to the docs in the morning, cant sleep and im crying at the slightest thing but im sure its just part off the process. follow up with the clinic is next wed, have already signed for fet so im thinking maybe they will give me a date, most likely jan 

nite girls x


----------



## Katie4

Oh danni, you have been through so much both physically and emotionally in the last few months, worrying about the op, Roxie, your chest x ray....whilst also being a mum no wonder you are tearful. Also a general anaesthetic will leave you out of sorts for a good while, after my lap and dye I couldn't believe some women went shoppingbthr next day, I was on bed rest and felt vile long after the soreness wore off. Glad you are being sensible and being checked out x x x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Thankyou pocket x


----------



## sanfrancisco

Pocket-so pleased for you  

Katie-good news on your 20 week scan too 

Danni-take it easy hun,look forward to xmas and then start your treatment  

Chris-when is your scan xx

Feeling better today,booked in for a lap and hysteroscopy next wednesday .Had another scan today,as they wanted to check pelvis between day 7-10 of cycle.No signs of hydrosalpinx today!!!!Ovaries beautiful,everything beautiful,so don't know what to think now Still having a lap though ,hope I find a reason for this pain.How long do you have to wait for fet after a lap and will I be ok looking after ds?


----------



## Katie4

Oh Sanfran, that's good news but v confusing. Hopefully the lap will give you some answers. I had mine before i fell preg with ng and although they only had a route around I would say I was v tender that day and the next but I was back at work the day after with v mild discomfort mainly at the umbilical incision which was probably due to friction from clothes more than anything. We had my parents to stay 5 days later and kept it hidden. 

In terms of looking after a little one, I think you will need help for a couple of days to be on the safe side but will also say that I had mind before I was a mum and I'm probably a bit hardier now so do bear that in mind! ;-)

Also, if they are likely to act on any findings you will probably be more sore. 

I don't know about Fet - I would imagine it will depend on if they have to do anything ? After mine they were happy to do clomid the next cycle. 

Hope that helps hun. Try not to worry. We are all here for you x


----------



## Katie4

Didn't realise your ds is the same age as ng- if he's quite indEpendent you will prob manage the next day at home just the two of you so long as you keep lifting to a minimum so lots of painting, play dough, jigsaws and cbeebies!


----------



## chrisgib

Hi everyone,

I'm back from a great week in Cornwall. Can highly recommend it! (St Ives - Tregenna Castle self catering) Holly has had a great time. We went with some friends who have a 1 year old daughter and a son the same as as Holly. Their daughter has recently started having reflex anoxic seizure - have any of you heard of/had experience of these. She had a really bad one this week and was bluelighted to hospital, they even tried to call the air ambulance. Terrifying. I've been with her for 2 now, and this one lasted almost an hour. Apparently they don't do any harm (even though the heart stops), but that's difficult to believe as she's lying there fitting, and not responding to anything. We've been trying to work out what triggers it, and we can only think that it's stress/anxiety, she seems to be suffering extreme separation anxiety. On this occasion, her mother put her down while she got dressed, in the same room!

Anyway - apart from that - holiday was lovely.

So then - how are all of you?

San Fran - sounds like you're having a really tough time. I hope things keep looking beautiful. 

Dannii - how's the recovery going? I'd be tearful too having if I'd been through what you have so don't be too hard on yourself. This is all emotional stuff, the physical bit's the easy part.

Katie/Pocket (sorry you have to share this time) - so glad your scans went well. Each of these stages is a real milestone.

Loulou - how are you doing hun?  I hope you're taking good care of each other.   

Lyns - you on holiday again?  Was it Great Yarmouth this week or did I dream that?

I'm fine, although all my symptoms have disappeared so I'm starting the stress that it's all over before it's even begun. I'm still addicted to the clearblue digi tests, and it's still on 2-3 weeks. By blood test the other day went from 141 to 302 so that was all good, but that was a week ago!!  Roll on thursday, then hopefully I'll chill out a bit.   

Hope you've all got a good weekend lined up.

Christine
xx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Can I join you? I have only read so far back but seen some good news and lots of positive ladies and hoping your good luck and PMS rubs off on me.

You can see my story on my sig below. I am currently off sick after a lap and hyst etc last week. I have severe endo and cant have any further surgery without a colostomy bag. I had my left tube stitched last week as it is all mangled up with my bowel and other parts down there. I seem to be ovulating OK (according to blood tests) and the surgeon ruptured a corpus luteum last week accidentally and repaired it (which now worried I will get another which will stretch and burst and do damage - what a wally)   

DH has poor SA. Just 8% good swimmers. 

We would love to have no 2 but obviously things are against us. We wouldnt get NHS funding and have limited funds ourself for tx. The surgeon suggested IUI but I know very little about it (we were due to start IVF last time I got pg) so know more about that. However, another cons has said ICSI. Now we have to decide whether or not to go ahead, ttc naturally etc.

Should we visit clinics etc? Heaven only knows, we are just wandering around in a daze at the moment!! Anyhow, got DH some wellman vits and will try to get our heads around it before deciding where to go!!

Anyhow, sorry for the waffle, would love to chat to you all if thats OK?

Christine - All sounds good for you so far. Fingers crossed   A friend of mine's granddaughter has the same condisiotn as your friend. Vert scary and stress related, even if he gets too excited about stuff! Poor little pickles 

Sanfran - hope the lap and dye goes ok xx

Pocket and Katie - great scan news   Lets hope more ladies join you soon xx

Dannii - hope you are OK. What surgery have you had?

Thanks for letting me gatecrash

Love Shrimper xx


----------



## Katie4

Welcome Shrimper. Sounds like you have some options and as many of us will report, diet, vitamins and generally nagging DH to keep his nether regions cool and ventilated can make a massive difference to SA results so fingers crossed for you guys, you have been through a lot.  

Bit of a me post girls I'm afraid, tiredness, hormones and exasperation have left me sobbing on the phone to a receptionist at our surgery   - you all know DH has been unwell and we've finally got to the point of getting a referral, well it's taken nearly 2 weeks (FFS) and cost £31 and I've just picked up the form and it's all been for nothing. Basically when we took out the insurance we signed a moratorium and we will be covered for anything provided we weren't ill with it in the first 2 years of cover which was 2007-08 for us. So, when I went to see the GP with DH 2 weeks ago I explained clearly that if they implied or thought this was related to heartburn which he's suffered with for years it would invalidate our cover. The GP was brilliant (then!!) and said that this was entirely separate but the form reads differently to me. So I called the surgery and then quite literally sobbed uncontrollably when I tried to speak to the receptionist as she wouldn't tell me his first name so I could e-mail, then wouldn't let him speak to me, then wanted to make an appointment for tomorrow for DH to speak to him so bless her, I just sobbed, you know the sort when you can't speak   - and it's like the flood gates have opened and now I can't stop.    In the end the Gp called Dh (clearly the receptionist was distressed by my distress and wanted it sorted ASAP - I am feeling slightly mortified right now but still the tears are coming) and then he told him to call me and he said he's adamant it's something different and the referrall letter clearly states this but they can't see that!!   (Ah but I have a copy....right, you get no where in life if you don't do it yourself...I'm going to send a copy of the referrall letter in, it can't do any harm..) 

Sorry for the me post...not very good when I worry about DH.

Hugs to you all x x x


----------



## chrisgib

Ah Katie - never apologise for doing a 'me' thing - it's what we're here for.

I don't blame you for blubbing, regardless of your hormones. Things like that are so frustrating, it's enough to drive anyone to the brink. You've done really well to keep on top of it, these bureaucrats never seem to remember that their customers/patients are under such emotional stress as they keep you dangling. Thank goodness you've got the GP on side, sounds like he'll help you straighten it out. As for the receptionist - don't get me started - power goes to their head somewhat. I know they're trying to protect the GP's from us, but firstly it's awful to have to justify yourself to them, and secondly it's none of their business. Apologies if any of you are GP workers - I'm sure you know your reputation!   

Katie - you're fully entitled to sob, you've got so much on your plate. Particularly as you're a super organised person, leaving the control to others makes life so much more stressful for you.  

Shrimper - welcome. Like Katie says you've got lots of options, I don't know what %swimmers is needed for IUI/IVF, but in my clinic most of their treatment is ICSI, which does away with that worry I guess. I think they get the best results from that as it removes one of the hurdles in this process. Is there still a chance you could conceive naturally with your one remaining tube? I know the finances make the decision so much harder too, for ages I tried to weigh up the options of having one icsi or three IUI's - but when I discussed it with the consultant they went for ICSI with no hesitation. You're very welcome to join our gang, more the merrier. We all fully understand the desire/pressure for no2.

I'm just doing waiting now - all symptoms have disappeared, although finally got my 3+ weeks on the clearblue digital on Friday so been a bit more relaxed since. Thursday is scan day, midday - bring it on!   

 to you all.

Christine
xxx


----------



## Katie4

Chris it's scary how you all have me so well sussed  Hormones levelling out a bit, tummy now full which helps too - definitely an emotional eater! Was so full of beans this morning I couldn't believe my reaction to this. Guess you are right about how stressful it all is. Have also self-soothed by doing some jobs that I can now cross off my list  (trying not to get annoyed by someone at work who has tried to gently remind me to copy them in on e-mails to someone else...and breathe!!)

Ooh Thursday - how brilliant, that has come round quickly. (For me  ) And did you know CB won't go up any higher than 3-4 weeks from what I read on another thread so don't freak out if you test again - who am I kidding? *When* you test again  Try not to symptom spot - you will feel reassuringly vile soon enough I'm sure. x x

best do some work work, x


----------



## chrisgib

Thank goodness clearblue stops at 3+ weeks - I'd be bankrupt if it did the whole 40 weeks!   

I've got one test left - and I'm saving it for after the scan, just in case the same happens as last time. Assuming I don't need it, maybe I'll save it til next time...joke!!   

Think I need to get out more.

Got the afternoon off this afternoon as Holly going out with inlaws - if she can tear herself away from Toy Story - she's a complete addict.    Eating achievement today though - she ate baked beans!

Christine
x


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Thank you for your welcome. Nice to be somewhere where we can all understand a little of what we are all going through.

Katie - Glad you feel a bit better   and have a full tummy   I read to DH what you said about loose pants so he dropped his trousers to show me his under crackers! Won't make that mistake again    

Christine - Thursday will soon be here - Yay!! I like the sound of your eating breakthrough. Am currently on 'mission baked beans' with DD but you would think I was trying to get her to eat a slug the way she carries on   

I think there is a titchy chance we could concieve naturally (never say never eh?) but each time I have an AF the dreaded endo gets worse which edges me closer to further surgery and the dreaded colostomy bag   We have been ttc for a year now and nothing happened so I dont think my odd's are great. Slowly coming round to ICSI though I think as I just feel IUI might be a waste of time and money. If I am ovulating from my left tube how would they know? Then if we paid for that cycle it would be wasted!!

HI everyone else. Hope you are all well xx


----------



## natalie34

Just crashing your thread again girls to wish Christine all the very best for tomorrow - will be thinking of you lots and look forward to hearing your news        


Nat


x x x


----------



## PocketRocket

Just a quickie to let you know I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Chris..  Hope that little beanie is all snuggled down!

Will post properly tomorrow girls - have been keeping up with you but no time for a proper post.. It's been one of those weeks!!!

Pocket xxx


----------



## Katie4

Hope tomorrow is amazing Chris      what time is your appointment? Are you taking H? How are you feeling? 

PR take it you are feeling OK too? 

Also having a manic week - no surprise the medical insurance company took literally a 14 sec look at the form the Gp filled in when I called this afternoon, mentioned the comment he'd made which I knew would be an issue and said they needed dh's medical record - sigh!! More delays. At least he's well right now.


----------



## chrisgib

Hi all,

My appointment isn't until midday so got all morning to pull what's left of my hair out! Oh well - what will be will be. Think I've decided though that even if this doesn't work out, it will be the end of the road for us. Too old to put up with this anymore!  Anyway, PMA - all will be fine, I hope.   

Katie - I'm sure the insurance will see sense - at least it wasn't an outright no. Let's hope DH keeps well, I'm sure it feels less urgent while he's feeling OK.

 to you all.

Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

Midday?! I can't wait that long!! Lol.Fingers and toes crossed sweetie.  

Argh, I need to phone surgery in the morning to see if they have got the request for the notes- am now totally mortified about my tears the other day and don't know if I can even face the call! Lol

Night night...might head downstairs for a snack my
Tummy is rumbling! That said, it's Wednesday so mother Hubbard day in our house as shopping ordered for tomorrow. Using asda as got £27 in vouchers for complaining repetedly!


----------



## chrisgib

Hello hello, sorry to have kept you waiting - we went out for lunch!


Well, it was kind of goodish news - there is something in the uterus, so that's good news that it's in the right place. But no heartbeat yet. I'm only 6w2d so it's not disastrous I know, but still a tad disappointing. They're scanning me again next Wednesday when I'll be 7w1d.  I'm hugely relieved that it's not another ectopic, I read that the chances increased to 1 in 10 once you've had one which terrified me.
She also saw several huge corpus luteum cysts which the nurse said was good news and normal in the early stages of a pregnancy. She will be monitoring those next week too.

So another wait in this endless (thankfully) story. I just hope it has a happy ending. Talk about attention seeking!

Thanks to you all for your good wishes.


Hope you're having a good day - it's a scorcher here now.


Christine
xx


----------



## Katie4

That is terrific news, well done you.


----------



## PocketRocket

Yeaaaaaahhhh!!!! Well done Chris! Hey, look at it this way, at least you get an extra scan out of it ;0) And you're only just on the cusp of bring able to see a heartbeat so be rest assured that your little beanie is just being a bit of a pickle...!

Xxxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi girls,

Sorry been awol for a bit, my charger broke on my laptop so not been able to get on.

had a FAB few days in yarmouth, weather was good, caravan lovely and loads to do on the sight so Harry thoroughly enjoyed it.
Forgot about all our worries and enjoyed being a family of 3 for once !!!

Chris - fantastic news, please dont worry about the heartbeat not being seen, when i had my 6 wk scan with Harry they warned me prior to it that i may not see the heartbeat and not to worry about it so it is common for it not to always be seen, i know its hard after last time but everything will be just fine xx

Hope everyone is doing well and the bumps are coming on niceley xx

I will catch up after my follow up on Wed and let you know how i got on, its come round so fast and after sending an email complaining about having to pay for it i have now been told that it will be free....think i made them feel bad by telling them how stresfull and expensive it is already withought having to pay to get some questions answered, i also told them that they had made me feel like i was just a number in their eyes....it was a bit harsh i suppose but it WAS how i felt and it seems to have done the trick !!
i am having a good week this week ans so hoping my good mood will last   

Lyns
xxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Brilliant result lyns- far exceeds my complaint result to asda (£27! Lol) I think they need to be told sometimes. Don't regret it. 

Good luck for next week x


----------



## lyns76

Thank you !

I have started to complain abot everything now !!
I even got money off my curtains from Duns because i cant get the creases out !!

Do you think its a sign of me getting older ??


----------



## Katie4

If it is let's embrace it!!


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone   

Finally have got five minutes to myself to catch up with you all! It really has been one of those weeks and I finally seem to have 'stopped' today   

Katie - You poor thing   I don't think you should worry at all about getting into a state about your DH and the referral - you've got a lot on your mind and these damned hormones have an awful lot to answer for    Fingers crossed it'll all work out for the best... it's just a shame you have to do all the work yourself   

Shrimper - Welcome to the thread    It's great to have you here   

Dannii - How are you doing? Are you on the mend?   

Lyns - Glad to hear you had a good few days away    Looking forward to hearing how you get on after your appointment... loving the freebie!   

Chris - Hope you are ok and trying not to worry too much    

Loulou - Not sure if you are still reading this thread but do let us know how you are   

AFM, went to the doctor's yesterday and made my bookign appointment    Still hasn't quite sunk in yet! She asked me which hospital I wanted to got to - I had completely forgotten they ask you this early on and went into shock ie. far too early to discuss this/haven't given it any thought/can you check that I really am pg?!!!    Also asked GP for the rest of my Cyclogest on prescription... £7.40 for four boxes    Much more preferable to the clinics charges of £23 PER BOX!! 
Still undecided as to whether or not we will have a 10 week scan    Think we will see how we go. I am still feeling very tired and quite nauseous - unless I am eating, which doesn't bode well for trying to keep the weight down this time round   

Lots of Love to you all xxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Pocket - won't your prescription be free? I didn't have to pay for my cyclogest that the GP gave me.

Hope you have a relaxing weekend ahead of you. Don't be overdoing things, especially if the MS is getting to you, as you won't have your normal strength.

What's the dilemma with the 10 week scan?  Will you have an oscar, or have you decided not to? 

Not much news from me, only 5 more sleeps til the next scan.   

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Well I asked my surgery if I had to pay for my scripts or wait until I had my exemption certificate and they said I would have to wait - although TBH they didn't really seem too sure themselves    Either way, I figured that it was still way cheaper than getting them from the clinic!

Not planning to do much over the weekend. Not used to the MS... didn't really get it with DS! But not complaining... feeling like crap is strangely reassuring   

At the 7wk scan the clinic referred me to the GP straight away and gave us the option of the 10 wk scan (last time they didn't discharge me until after the 10wk scan and it was kind of given that you had both). The nurse said that she finds most people don't accept the offer of a 10wk scan because of the recession (her opinion!) and said that you get your 12wk scan only 2wks afterwards so people don't really bother. £150 on a 10 minute scan does seem a little excessive after all the money we have spent so far, but at the same time, it's a small price to pay for peace of mind!

Hope the next five sleeps goes quickly for you!

PR xxx

PS. Forgive my ignorance, but what do you mean by an 'oscar'?! Or am I being really thick?!!!


----------



## Katie4

Evening! 

I'm bring forced to stop tonight as am a grumpy old witch because  I'm so tired. 

Think Chris may have meant a nuchal and her phone changed it? If not do tell feel like I have missed out! lol

Pr- your surgery are wrong sweetie and because of them it's unlikely you will get a refund as officially the nhs receipt can only be given at the point of dispensing but is worth asking as they are in the wrong.  You then take the form to a pharmacy with your exemption card and get the refund.  Did the midwife give you the form to fill in for your exemption form?  Can't stand it when people make mistakes like that. Tsk tsk! Lol as for the scan a place by us does them for £85 (notts) and baby bond does them for £100? I think they ar national- what region are you in? Don't worry about weight gain..you are growing a baby x x It is hard in the beginning though, 

Chris


----------



## Katie4

Argh, phone update has killed my phone if I post a reply rather than a quick reply?!!!

Chris, not long now  

Loulou, v much thinking of you sweetie

Lyns, danni, sanfran- happy weekends girls. 

Going before I throw this phone! (soooo rational tonight!!)


----------



## PocketRocket

Ah ok well thanks for that Katie - it's worth knowing for any future medications! Even the pharmacist didn't know the answer?! So I figured it was just easier to pay... but kind of wished I'd just ticked the mat exemp cert box!!
I didn't see the midwife, just my GP so far but with DS I remember she did get me to fill in the form but it wasn't until I was about 16-20 wks pg that I got the exemption card. I'm in the Hertfordshire region (not the cheapest of places as it is!!) and you're right, I am sure the scans are cheaper elsewhere but I would probably still pay the extra to go back to the clinic as they know me and have all my notes etc etc. Better the devil you know and all that!
As for the oscar    I would imagine we will go ahead and have that as we did last time. 

If it's any consolation Katie, I am feeling quite grumpy and tired too (let my hormones get the better of me today and snapped at DH and DS) so you're not alone honey! I am v p*s!ed off that there is nothing on TV on Friday nights for saddos like me who stay in all the time    Ah well, an X Factor marathon tomorrow night will have to do me!

PR xxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

You all seem so mega busy and chat loads which is lovely. 

Hope all the bumps are doing well (and those getting ready to form little bumps).

Sounds like I need to start complaining about stuff as it seems to go along way!! I am rubbish at that sort of thing and end up feeling sorry for the person on the other end of it which is daft.

Must dash, just a quick post, wanted to say hi. Trying to find a place for DH and I to take DD to for a weekend.

Shrimper xx


----------



## Twopence

Hi PR

Our posts just crossed.

Where in Herts are you (if you dont mind me asking?) We are also in Herts. Which clinic are you using?

xx


----------



## Katie4

Ooh sorry you are feeling "the mones" too! Lol and if it gives you peace of mind go for your clinic sweetie. X 

Shrimper will you share when you know where you are going? I'm living my hols vicariously! Chris and her numerous trips to Cornwall have been great!


----------



## PocketRocket

Shrimper - I'm in Hertford... using Herts and Essex Fertility Centre. How about you?

Pocket xxx


----------



## Twopence

HI Katie - you might be on a virtual trip to peppa pig world then!! Not sure yet where we are going but would like to treat her. Will see what else is around that area and if it is wortha visit. Sounds like hell to me but it is all for DD isnt it?

PR - We are in Croxley Green between Rickmansworth and Watford. The only clinic we have ever visited is the Herts and Essex one and really liked it. However, also going to check out ARGC and Lister and choose from the three. Do you rate them?

Shrimper xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Ah I remember looking at a school in Croxley Green when I first moved here 10 years ago! We have only ever visited and had tx at H&E - it's only 10 minutes down the road from us and to get into London, although not far, was just added hassle for us so didn't even consider visiting any further afield. DH and I did have a consultation with Zita West when we first started our tx journey and she said that the Lister was very good, but after talking to me she felt that H&E would be better at providing me with a little more TLC and personable service - if that helps at all!!!

BTW - peppa Pig World sounds amazing!!! I just need to get DS into it! All he says/plays with is 'car' and 'ball'... typical boy   

Pocket xxx


----------



## Twopence

PR - Oh Wow, really? Which one? What made you look at schools over here? it is a bit of a trek. Sorry, so nosey.

the H&E definitely felt very friendly and personable. We were recommended the ARGC because it deals with immune issues and endo (not that I know if I have any but that was the advice) and were going to look at the Lister as colleagueof DH's had two successful ICSI's there.

Was teh Zita west consultation worth it? I hadnt even thought of that!! WE are off tot eh fertility show in november so should hopefully get some ideas etc there.

DD LOVES Peppa. And Roary the racing car. In fact, all cars bless her. But Daddy is a cpmplete petrol head and wants her to be an F1 driver!!   

How old is your DS? DD is 21 months

xx


----------



## chrisgib

Hi,


Going back 100 posts - I did mean OSCAR - it stands for One Stop Clinic for Assessment of Fetal Risk - basically the nuchal scan.


My clinic only give a 7 week scan I think, but obviously I'll have a 6 and a 7 - don't think I'll get a bill though, then I'll get discharged to the GP. My clinic are a bit slack on the billing front - my friend had a scan every week until 12 weeks all included - they just do what the nurse thinks you need.


My MW booking appointment has come through, for the 27th - not sure I can make it though as was planning to go and see my folks.


I've heard PP world is great - keep meaning to take Holly, but running out of time as I think it closes soon - please correct me if you know otherwise though.


Right - I'm going to bed now - keep chatting ladies as I'm usually awake at 4am reading all your news!!


Christine
xx


----------



## Twopence

Christine - 4am!!!! Dont you sleep? Or do you get up mega early for work?

As far as I can tell PP isnt closing soon, they are talking about Xmas. However, they are now shut every Mon and Tues until half term.

Night night xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Sorry if my posts go a bit weird now but in bed & posting on my phone!

Shrimper - I think I looked at Croxley Green Primary/JMI... If there is such a school?! I looked everywhere in Herts as wanted to move to this county but had the freedom of living pretty much wherever I wanted (oh to be young again... Hehe!!) so figured I'd just look everywhere and wherever I found a decent job, that's where I'd lay my hat!! Ended up teaching at a school in Ware originally but have always lived in Hertford. Have you always lived here?

As for visiting ZW, it was beneficial to us at the time and stage we were at, definitely. I don't know how useful it'd be to go after you've had some experience of tx though, but that's a completely judgemental and unjustified comment!!

Chris - Never heard if the nuchal scan referred to as OSCAR before! Well, you learn something new everyday ;0) I too am often up at silly o'clock reading all of these posts too... Too many toilet stops too early on for me ;0)

Pocket xxx


----------



## Twopence

Going to say goodnight all.

PR - Not sure there is such a school but there may well have been a few years back. I assume you are a teacher then!!

I grew up in Harpenden but when I met DH he lived in Pinner so we sort of met in the middle. We only planned to be here two years and five years on still in a house I really dont like.

Looking to move but will now all be based on finding good schools for DD. We cant move too far out of Herts as DH has a medical condition which means he must be near his hospital in London but anywhere in Herts really. We were considering Hertford actually but also like Tring as well.

I work in St Albans and DH works in Staines!!

Night all xx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hello lovelies 

im loving all the bumps and babes chatter, DD is getting so old now so much so that we reached a milestone tonight, her first school disco! it was tramatic, well for me anyway jodie had a fab time 

on my phone at the min but i am looking some advice, had my appt with my clinic on wed and was told everything was healing very well and that i could go ahead with FET with my Oct af. I thought that it would be Jan before anything would be happening. Is this too soon? are they just rushing me because this my NHS cycle? af is due on the 27th (my birthday) so day 21 would be mid Nov. Thing is im totally unprepared, only thing i have been taking is folic acid. girls help me figure out whats what, please


----------



## chrisgib

Ah Dannii - you're up too late for me!

I can understand your dilemma - but really you must just tell them what you want to do - don't let them pressure you in to going for treatment before you feel ready. If this is your one and only NHS funded one, you need to make sure you have absolutely no regrets if, god forbid, it doesn't work. On the other hand, is there really much to get ready, or do you just want to get your head straight and get xmas out of the way? You've got age on your side so there's not such a rush, but I know I hate having to wait for anything - but maybe that's because I'm a grumpy old woman!!    How are you feeling physically, do you feel recovered from your op?

I can't make the decision for you - but whatever you decide must be right for you, right now.

Feel free to deliberate all the pros and cons on here.   

Shrimper - ah - I'll have to have another look at PP world - we really want to go. 

Pocket - all the MW's etc talk about OSCAR's here - but you have to pay for it, and last time I had it instead of the NHS 12 week dating scan. But things seem to have changed a bit since last time! My 4am starts are either down to Holly or toilet - or both! I usually end up having to listen to my Zita CD to get back to sleep - still thinking of buying the new pregnancy one, have you tried that?

 to you all. Have a good weekend.

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone,

Making the most of a quiet hour whilst DH takes LO swimming this morning. Far too chilly for me to even consider going out of the house today   

Dannii - I agree with everything that Chris said. You mustn't do anything you don't want to do and there is certainly no way you should ever feel rushed into making such a big decision. The important thing is that you are feeling fully recovered after your op and mentally in the right place to do this. I expect maybe that is what you are feeling when you say you aren't prepared for this? I guess doing it before Xmas would be beneficial in that you would be kept busy! But on the flip side, perhaps you may want to get Xmas done first so that you can focus solely on your FET. Just do what feels right for you - we're here to listen   

Shrimper - My DH works in St Albans.. I love it there! Unfortunately house prices are a little too on the expensive side for us over that way    I haven't been to Tring before but have heard good things about it. I do love living in Hertford but if all goes well with Beanie No.2    then we may have to consider moving further afield in the next couple of years to an area less desirable for the sake of a bigger house    

Chris - My acupuncturist gave me the pregnancy CD to copy about 6 weeks ago and I still haven't got around to doing it!! I have listened to it once during a session and it's ok... I preferred the pre/post ET ones though as they really help you to focus on what is going on in your body, whereas the pregnancy one only really does that towards the end. Having said that, I have only listened to it once so I'm probably just making it all up    

Katie - Hope you are all good   

Lyns - Thinking of you this week and looking forward to hearing about how you got on   

AFM - Had a massive panic yesterday as I woke up feeling fine. No tiredness, no nausea..    Panic mode set in immediately    The nausea gradually came back during the day but I suppose I should be grateful for the tiredness subsiding. Perhaps my body is getting used to the hormones?! Is that the way it works?!   
Not much planned for today... a snuggly day with my boys cooking a nice Sunday dinner. Trying to forget pants work tomorrow   

Lots of Love,

Pocket xxxx


----------



## lyns76

Hi everyone.

Big rant coming up.......my bloody appointment has been changed AAARRRGGGHHHHH.
Got a letter in the post yesterday changing it to thursday morning, which i cant make, i had sorted my day off work and everything on Wednesday  
Gotta try and rebook it tomorrow for a convenient date which isnt always easy with a little one and work.

So not really got any news to report until i know when my appointment will be again.

Hope everyone is well, we are just having a fry up then going to see Thomas the Tank train xxxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Peeps

Hope you are all having a good weekend. We have been visitng relatives which was fine when we planned it all but only having my lap less than two weeks ago I am feeling a little sore now!! 

PLus I just pulled out a stitch by mistake which made me feel a little queasy   

Lyns - how annoying!! An y idea why it was changed? Hope you get it all sorted 

PR - I remember when I was pg and every day I felt awful I hoped it would go away and then when it did I panicked. The amount of times I used to poke my boobs to check they were sore!! What a wally   Hope the nausea etc came back and your mind is at rest (in the nicest possible way of course)    

Where does DH work in St Albans?

Chrsitine - if you lok on the PP website they are doing a deal at he moment - two days in there for the priceof one. Not sure how much you could handle but they also seem to be d
oing a good deal with accommodation as well (although I dont think it is a 5* luxury pad)   

Dannii - go with your gut feeling. If this is too soon tell them, it is your body and your tx

Best be off, need to eat something but not sure what yet!!

xx


----------



## chrisgib

Morning all,

Oh Lyns - I would be furious about the changed appointment - did they have a 'good' reason? Or was the consultant playing golf?! Shouldn't joke - I know how frustrating it all is and how things like this really add to the stress levels. Hope you've managed to schedule another one without too big a delay. 

Shrimper - ouch - the stitch thing sounds awful - how are you feeling now?

Dannii - how are you feeling?  Ready to go for tx, or going to tell them to wait?

Pocket - another working week nearly over, then you can relax I hope. How are things going at work? What scans etc have you got lined up now, or are you in denial?!

Loulou - not sure if you're still reading - but   to you. This wasn't how the story was supposed to end.   

Katie - you Ok hun? - almost on the home straight, or does it not feel like that yet. How's DH? Hope you've got the insurance stuff sorted.

It's been pretty quiet on here, is everyone OK? Think the last few weeks have been a bit traumatic for everyone. Maybe we should take Tillypops up on her offer of a new thread to keep the baby chat separate. It is off putting for anyone else,  certainly would have put me off. What do you all think? Originally this thread was just about the desperation of needing No2. 

Afm, one more sleep til my next scan tomorrow - I'm absolutely bricking it. If there's no heartbeat then I guess that's the end of the line for us. Hoping it will all be OK of course, but I can't help but worry. I did an extra hpt this morning though - still pregnant, and still 3+ weeks - so that's a good sign. I don't really have any other symptoms, mildly nauseous but putting that down to anxiety. Can't stomach cold milk/cream either though - makes me ill - not sure if that's linked or not.

Really hope everyone's OK, whether you're posting or not.   

Christine
xxx


----------



## louloumay

Hey! no thread moving!

I just needed to lick my wounds for a bit..............I'll be back good and proper soon.  

Haven't read the thread back so I've no idea what's going on for everyone, I hope you are all fine and bumps are growing nicely.

Good luck tomorrow Chris hun. I'm sure it'll be fine  

xxxxxxxx


----------



## Tillypops

I started this thread that you are also welcome to post on

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=272345.0

But if you are happy enough, you can carry on chatting on here.

Tilly
xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Evening! 

Oh Tilly I totally know where you are coming from on suggesting the other thread and I so never want to upset anyone by them reading the title and then seeing there are bumps amongst us. But I'd hate to lose touch with you girls, you have been my saviours over the last 9 months and I know none of us will ever forget the desperation and sadness we've felt on our journeys for no 2. Does that make sense? I've quickly read the new thread and agree with the ladies on there it's a needed thread and such a good idea and I'll pop over there if anyone wants the bumps to go but might not want to say? (perhaps they could message you privately and you could tell us not their name but that it 
was time to go) but till then can we stay? 

Loulou, so very lovely to hear from you hun. Been thinking about you so much but didn't want to pm you assuming you wanted time to get your head round everything. We've missed you sweetie x 

Chris, wanted to wish you so much luck for tomorrow - would take the milk aversion as a positive sign, I can't eat hot toast or cold water when Im pregnant! What time is your scan? 

Pr - half term next week so you have two weeks off practically? ;-) how are you feeling? Any plans for your time off? 

Danni what are you and your big LO doing for half term? Hope you and roxie are fully recovered. I would have been thrown by the thought of bringing treatment forward too. Especially when Christmas is so lovely and full on with a child. 

Lyns, how rude about your appointment - I can't believe they didn't call you. That would make me rage. Have you managed to sort it now? So much emotion is invested in each appointment any change is bound to upset you. 

Shrimper and San Fran - hope you are ok girls 

Afm, working lots of overtime at the moment while I've got the energy - every penny counts right now especially as my company pays just SMP. Off to Physio on Thursday, my pelvis is letting me know it isn't a fan of my current situation so I'm hoping earlier intervention this time will keep me off crutches! Gulp! Was pretty miserable last time. Hoping to be able to just do the overtime this month so will be back posting lots in November  

Am on phone but hope what I've said at the top about this thread and the new one makes sense and hasn't upset anyone - I'd hate that and will honestly move threads if that helps any of you without being upset or offended. Think I'm waffling now but hope the sentiment comes across as I mean it. X x


----------



## Tillypops

As I said, you don't have to move as long as you are all happy with this thread as it is. You might fancy posting on both from time to time, but I'm not forcing you to go anywhere so don't feel awkward posting on here.

xxxxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

I Can see where the idea came from for the new post. I have to be honest, as a new poster here it was a little daunting seeing bumps and not anyone sounding 'panicky or desperate' but then I realised it was a good thing and makes me feel positive.

PLus I would hate to see anyone feeling rubbish on here and where people are happy this is a good thing. Some of us can take hope   

Sorry for the short post, just wanted to throw my bitin for what it's worth but hopefully some other ladies would like to join us soon (speaking from a newbie to this thread perspective).

Love, babydust and bump rubs to all xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Hi everyone   

Loulou    Good to hear from you    Hope you're doing ok... understand you needing some time away. We do think of you lots so please don't be a stranger   

Chris - Thinking of you tomorrow    Rub that tum and think    chicken! Will be keeping an eye out for your post.

Katie - Yip, 12 days off for me now    Lush! No major plans for the time off really... visiting some friends and family but just looking forward to having my boy to myself again    

Shrimper - Hope you are ok   

Tilly - Thanks for the link to the other thread    have made a post there but would also like to stay here if no one else minds... I like it here, I do   

AFM, feeling v tired and ready for bed!! Chris, no plans for a 10wk scan yet although I am tempted... DH said it's a waste of money and we don't need to go    He has a point but feeling anxious today so we will see. Been getting backache and AF type pains today - hoping the backache is just due to standing too much at work and that the aches are just down to everything stretching    I wish I'd written everything like this down with LO - it might have put my mind at rest now   

Lots of Love to my lovely FFs xxxx


----------



## Katie4

Just a thought- what about a change of title for this thread so it reflects the content a bit more? Thanks for being honest shrimper  

Big hugs on this v v chilly night!


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hello 

sorry for being awol, thanks for all the words of wisdom..

katie- hope dh is feeling better and you arent too uncomfortable x

chris- will be thinking about you tomorrow, come on baby x

Loulou- have been thinking about you lots x

lyns- im sorry you are having hassle, so unfair 

Shrimper- hello and welcome, this thread is fab 

pocket- yay for half term, have fun with your little man 

sanfran- how are you? x

like i have already said in previous posts, i dont want anyone to stop posting here. some of us may not be desperate and panicky for no2 anymore and thats fantastic, us girls are moving forward and i want to do it together! 

afm- i think we are going to go for it, when is there ever a right time? im feeling very 'what will be will be' at the moment and it feels good, could still change my mind so we'll see. christmas will be a good distraction, its the most wonderful time of the year (apparently) 

furbaby has an ear infection but otherwise fine. yay!

not too sure about half term, lots of long walks and perhaps a trip to the theme park thats in town, well i cant do that when im pregnant (thinking positive)  

nite lovelies xç


----------



## Katie4

Had a feeling you might say that!  Whatever you decide sweetie we are behind you 100% and if it feels right why not? 

Poor Roxie...She's had a tough time. (that's danni's dog shrimper  )

Oh thanks for asking about dh, he's really well at the mo while we are still (!) waiting for a decision from the insurance company so I'm v grateful. It will be 4 weeks since his last "episode" on sat so he's due another any time now! It's his birthday tha weekend too so without sounding too pessimistic I'm anticipating him being poorly almost so it's not a devastating shock again. Sorry that sounds so miserable but I keep thinking it will go away and then get sad when he's poorly again. Silly Katie!


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Hahaha you know me too well katie 

Im just so glad shes over the worst, she has age on her side the lucky duck 

you are not silly not at all, you just dont want dh to be ill, who would? waiting and worring for him to do so must be so anxious as well as being pregnant, having a toddler, working and also day to day life. dont beat yourself up for feeling how you do, i think your doing fantastic x


----------



## lyns76

hi all,

Just wanted to wish Chris all the very best for today, i am sure everything will be just fine.

With regards to the other thread, if you lovely ladies with bumps wanna chat on that one then obviously feel free and i am sure some of you will feel more comfortable sharing your joy , happiness and pregnancy talk on that one but PLEASE stay on here too.
We do all feel the same about wanting number 2 and lets not forget we have all been in the same position and have had to fight hard to get our dreams, please dont feel bad for being pregnant, its a reminder that even though it is tough your dreams can come true.

Got a few things going on at the mo so will be catching up soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Katie4

Good luck Chris x x


----------



## Tillypops

Thinking of you today Chris, good luck! 

xxxx


----------



## natalie34

Good luck today Christine - thinking of you lots and lots     


Nat


x x x


----------



## chrisgib

Goodness - what have we started here?  Sounds to me like the general concensus is to carry on here as we've all been on such a journey together, and are just at different stages on that journey. We all know each other so well now, it means that we can really support each other as we know how each other thinks. I think the newbies were brave joining, but so glad they have as it's good to have some fresh faces too.   

There are other threads too about the desire for number 2, so maybe we don't have to be all things to all people. This thread has just matured in to what it is now, but hopefully still friendly and open to new comers; but maybe without the hundreds of posters that some of the other threads get, so easier to get to know everyone.

AFM - bricking it! Thanks to everyone for your good wishes, hope I don't let you down.  Feeling quite positive, but preparing myself for the worst too. Holly jumped on my tummy this morning too, so that didn't go down very well - did a quick Dr Google though and think if it's OK, then that won't have made any difference. Holly is convinced there's 2 babies, but unless that one has split in the last week, there really is only 1!  Saying that, Holly says there's 17 babies in her tummy - so maybe I should just ignore her.   

My appointment is 1145, so another long morning. I'll post this afternoon to let you know the news.     

Christine
xxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Goodluck today Chris


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks everyone - I'm back already.

It's not great news. They could see a feint heartbeat, but very small and unclear. Only measuring 4 weeks. They've referred me to the early pregnancy unit who have better scanning machines, but realistically I think I'm likely to miscarry in the next few weeks. The nurse did say she'd seen happy and sad outcomes from this, but only measuring 4 weeks is the killer for me. 

Such a bummer.   

I hope I'm just being pessimistic - I'll be scouring FF for happy stories, but I've a feeling I'm not going to be one of the lucky ones - think someone is trying to tell me just to give up and be happy.   

Christine
xx


----------



## louloumay

Oh Chris   

That's such crappy news  

You don't know yet though, I know you've heard it all before and it's so hard not to think the worst so if it happens you can prepare yourself for it, but miracles DO happen. I so hope it does for you.  

Your last two cycles have resulted in positves, if not ful term ones and your embies were great quality. There is hope if this one fails and you're up to another cycle. I wouldn't have given up at 41.

Anyway, you never know xxxxxxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Chris-so sorry the news wasn't a little bit more positive for you,but as the others said,you never know.Thinking of you   xx


----------



## Katie4

Oh Chris wish it had all been straightforward ....when do you get to go to epu and use their better machines? Hoping you don't have to wait long. Is it a today thing or a this week?  And as the sonographer said there's still a chance so let's all hope for good news. Lots and lots of love x x x


----------



## Tillypops

Oh Chris, that's pants. Really hope that yours is one of the happy outcomes.

xxxxx


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks everyone - EPU want to see me next Wednesday, no point scanning sooner as they need to assess growth. In the meantime, I'm checking out my health insurance to see if it would cover me, might as well make an awful situation bearable.  Obviously if there's any change/bleeding I'll go to the EPU sooner.

I'm starting to try and talk to myself about us being a family of 3 now. Lots of advantages, but obviously not my preferred option.  Do I still go to my Midwife appointment next Thursday?!  Guess it depends what Wednesday says.

Anyone else considered fostering/adoption? There has to be an easier way!

Christine
xx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

oh Chris im so very sorry things didnt go as planned 

heres hoping next wk brings more hopeful news 

big big  to you, dh and holly xx


----------



## Katie4

Gosh, a whole week.  Oh Chris. I suppose speaking to your med insurance people will give you something to do.. Although brace yourself for when you talk to them, ours and our surgery have left me feeling like I should give up the will to live before daring to make a claim. Maybe let dh speak to them, you've enough on your plate. 

Here's hoping your little one grows nicely over the next week. So so hard for you. Sending you the biggest ff hug x


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris    I'm so sorry. It's not supposed to happen like this    As everyone else says, there is still some hope, but I totally understand your thinking... somehow preparing yourself for the worst makes you feel as though you'll deal better with it overall. 
I'll be hoping and praying that Wednesday brings you some good news - but if it doesn't, you know we will be here for you. I know that's probably a rubbish consolation at this precise moment in time, but you know what I mean when I say it.

Thinking of you sweetie   

Pocket xxx


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks Pocket - I'll certainly be back on here whatever happens.

I've been torturing myself looking at u/s videos on utube, and I can't help but think the 4 week thing is a bit mean; I admit it looked small, but judging by others, it looks closer to 6 weeks. I know I'm clutching at straws here, but how can I forget about this for another week?!  Maybe I'll go and just get really drunk.   

It had grown significantly since last week. Do you think I should go to the GP to get bloods done, or will that be meaningless now?  Nurse said it's what shows on the scan that counts now, and that HCG is purely an indicator.

Have I mentioned the two other disasters that are currently happening?  Someone crashed in to DH's new car yesterday (remember I mentioned about him spending too much on it when we could fund further treatment instead?!) More importantly, his father is going in for a triple heart bypass on Monday. Very inconvenient just when we need the sitters - only kidding of course! 

hark at me twittering on.

How are the rest of you?  Come and tell me about your days and stop me stressing!!

Christine
xx


----------



## PocketRocket

Oh Chris... The torturing!! It never ends does it sweetie?! I too have been torturing myself today by googling lower back pain/AF type pains during early pregnancy... Have driven myself insane!! Just feeling very anxious today. But had an appt with my acupuncturist and she made me feel much better. She's so calm and rational... I'd LOVE to be like that!!

No wonder you're thinking a lot about what happened today though... To see that beanie has grown since last week is obviously a good sign isn't it? If you want to get your bloods done then go ahead. I suppose though at the end of the day they won't be able to tell you about the growth though, which is really the issue. 

Sorry to hear about DH's car and his father's op. Geez, that's your three things lady!! Must ask though, were you tempted to say 'Told you so' when DH told you about his car?!!?!!!

PR xxxxx


----------



## Tillypops

Ok, Chris - here's my advice (for what it's worth)!!

I wouldn't get bloods done, just another thing to muddy the waters. What I would do is chase up BCRM and the EPU for a quicker appointment.  I had much the same thing happen to me on my second cycle - although mine was at 7 weekish scan when they thought it looked too small.  I nagged and nagged and finally got an appointment after a couple of days.  Sad to say, mine wasn't a happy outcome, but fingers crossed yours will be.

We had a lovely day here - went out for lunch with DD and a bunch of other ladies and their children, which was fab (although they made me feel like an alcoholic as I was the only one who had a glass of wine - and a large one to boot!)!  Then I came home and Briwaxed our new oak windowsill and found myself getting high on the fumes! I am now watching Kirsty Allsop and all the lovely homemade things on there!

Tilly
xxxx


----------



## Twopence

Hi Ladies

Chris - I like to look at the positives in life (crappy things that have happened have taught me that!!) Your little Beanie has grown since your last scan and a heartbeat was seen   Also, the crappy scanner they used on you was no good and they should have used a proper one at epu from the start to save this worry. I would try and push if I were you. I appreciate they want to see growth but maybe they could do that after a decent EPU scan to show the heartbeat is still going strong.

I had a bad experience with a poor sonographer and i think that maybe you should put this down to that (and poor machinery). Think happy thoughts and your little Beanie will grow on that (and chocolate   )

Tilly - you go goril with that wine. Had I been there I would have joined you!!

PR - I have endo and was told to expect a painful pregnancy with DD. I got ALOT Of period type pains and it was the scar tissue growing as well as the uterus. When your little Beanie has a growth spurt that can cause the discomfort you are experiencing as your uterus expands quickly. Step away grom google   Glad your accupuncturist could help 

Dannii - good for you. PLenty of PMA and get those rides in before you are pg    I hope Roxie os soon on the mend (thanks for the heads up on the name Katie!!)

Katie- I hope DH is OK. Do you mind me asking what his condition is? Absoloutely NO offence if you tell me to jog on and mind my own!! Hope the insurance company pulls their finger out soon!!

Lyns - totally echo what you say about the thread.

Just watching panarama about child beggars. Sat in tears watching it. These poor children and what they have to go through. Makes me want to go and wake DD up and give her a big cuddle. Even if she would just shout 'no' at me   

Love to all, got to go, not feeling great so off to bed xx


----------



## Katie4

Sorry Chris, I was being a bit thick earlier, I thought you had to wait a week to do a comparison but of course the earlier you get a detailed scan the better as that will give you a more accurate picture of where you are and then they can compare from that. Right, I'd def do as the girls say and make a nuisance of yourself. There are massive massive differences between the scanners available - we had a 10 week private scan with ng and the picture was so much sharper than our bog standard 12 week one on the nhs -And  the detail was so much better on the private one. if your insurance won't play ball or you have a £100 excess what about a private clinic like ultrasound direct? I know you should be seen by on the nhs but this might be an option? Especially as they tend to offer weekend appointments? 

Gutting about dh's car, even from just the hassle factor. Hope he got the details and you aren't left footing the bill. 

And here's hoping your father in law has a straightforward time on Monday. 

Huge hugs, you have so much on your plate. 

Shrimper, no secret at all- he's had intermittent severe abdo pain which strikes every 3-5 weeks, leaves him in agon/reasonable pain (fluctuates) for24-36 hrs, with no fever, no diarrhoea, no sickness or bloating. It feels sore and tense for a few days after too. Gp was v thorough, ruled out coeliacs, h pylori, anaemia (so not a bleeding ulcer nor cancer from what we can tell! Gu


----------



## Katie4

Sorry phone playing up. 

Gallstones were suspected but an ultrasound came back all clear. (hence why I know about ultrasound direct) so we've asked for a private referral because I'm impatient (!) and I clearly told the gp that if he said it was linked to heartburn which dh has had on and off for years the insurance would be invalidated. So what did he put on the form? "similar episodes for several years"! So now they've asked for his medical records and that was a week ago- our practice has just sent me a bill for £8 for the supply of the records- because the insurance only pay £20! Any way, they called dh and said to just drop it in when passing but the invoice clearly states they won't release the form till payment is made so I called and complained tonight and the receptionist told me three different things in under 2 mins so have no idea right now if the records have been sent or not! Have thought about moving practices before and think we will once this one is here. I'm just really disillusioned with them. 

Oh, they've said it is IBS for lack of any other diagnosis which is go with but I've nearly taken him to
A and e twice the pain has been so bad. And -tmi- it's not relieved by going to the loo which is what usually happens in IBS. 

Bet you wished you'd not asked! Lol


----------



## Katie4

And Chris - my day- 

Peppa pig in bed with ng, then breakfast, a bit of vacuuming and tidying, a trip to coop and then sainsburys as they had no mince beef nor courgettes, beans on toast for lunch, trip to our new park (soooo cold!), sleep while ng did 2.20-4pm, cooked tea, dh home, ngs god father round for tea, tidied up for cleaner, read spot the dog stories  (her latest fave) did some work (boo) and posted on here. 

Tomorrow I'm off to the hosp for Physio on my pelvis. Pr- if you pull up your pelvic floor and pull in your tummy muscles does the pain ease? You know I have pelvic girdle pain - well, it's usually worst in late preg but this time I had bad twinges early on, but pulling it all in and up (v consciously) made it go away so it could be all your hormones relaxing things a bit too much? Try not to worry x x 

Right must go to bed. Night my lovelies x


----------



## Katie4

Me again, (wonder if I'm breaking some record for typing the most words in 24 hours?! LOL

Totally life- related rather ridiculous post coming up: Loulou I had to come on and tell you that I think I have finally learnt my lesson...I ordered from  Asda again and had to complain today as they substituted items they weren't supposed to and said they had no milk (and couldn't possibly substitue that...!) I surrender. They are useless, they also turned up half an hour early which would be good but what if I wasn't in?

And  has anyone ever moved GPs without moving house? This whole debacle with DH's insurance has left me weak. I called today as it's going to take 3 weeks for Axa to pay the surgery and tey won't release the records without it (apparently most surgeries send the records and the bill together) So I said could I pay and they refund the money? No, that would mess up their systems. (Head and brick wall! Are they telling me they don't pay their milk man?! Sigh) fortunately Axa will refund me the money so I'm off to pay it in cash this afternoon.  

You know when Axa say that they won't pay as this is a long term not new condition I will implode don't you?! Honestly girls I'm so sorry to go on but do feel like I'm the only sane person in this asylum! (or maybe I'm the crazy one?!) Answers on a postcard!

Chris, hope you have got further with your enquiries x x x


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Katie im considering moving gp also without moving house. i went along last week to explain how i was feeling, teary sad etc. he just said your depressed and need anti-depressents. i explained again that i was having treatment and that i couldnt take those. he said there not addictive and safe in pregnancy and i said that i've had enough drugs in my body recently all i wanted was conformation that what i was feeling was normal given my circumstances but no! he also kept telling me not to worry if i did get pregnant that it would not be a 'frankinstien baby' just because it was conceived in a lab! i mean who says that?? so im not happy a happy camper. men... grrrr

As for asda and axa let loose and give them what for, you can always blame it on the hormones


----------



## Katie4

Oh sweetie, what a let down and don't even get me started on what he said about your potential baby....honestly you couldn't make this stuff up. And yes you are completely normal. Honestly, I felt so low in March about the whole TTC thing that I knew they would suggest antidep if I went and I didn't want them as I could pinpoint why I felt so miserable. Would it help to share a bit more with us hun? We are only experts when it comes to life and this difficult journey and not medical but you know we will all have felt what you feel and can support you a bit more? 

I've taken matters into my own hands a bit and have already arranged to see my midwife at a different surgery on a day NG is in nursery because I've taken her to the last two and although she's been super good I've not felt like I could say anything important and I'm sure by then I'll want to talk to her about the labour. I've also booked myself in for antenatal classes (workshops now don't you know?!  ) as i thought a refresher would be useful and it's while I'm still at work which is a bonus.

talking of which need to get to hosp for Physio. 

Chris love, hope you are OK today x


----------



## sanfrancisco

Chris-so sorry things are so hard for you,as if you haven't got enough stresses.As other girls say,maybe try for another scan,I know it's lying but can't you say you've been bleeding or something.There is also a great difference in scan quality.Don't understand why they've been so negative with you,if they've seen a flicker of a hearbeat that is really good.DS was originally a twin and the other twin did not have a heartbeat at 7weeks,they still scanned me the week after as they said it was'nt unusual for heartbeat to appear after the 1st scan,they said sometimes they are a bit slow.God I wish that little beanie had stuck around now!So it's not over until it's over,although I appreciate how hard it is to be in limbo land   

Pocket-sorry to hear you are feeling anxious.We spend so much emotional energy,go through so much to try and create a new life,and when it finally happens you think it will be a huge weight off your shoulders(well I do-I suspect I would be completely different if it did happen though )but it gets worse doesnt it!I am absaloutely positive that in 7ish months time you are going to have a beautiful baby in your arms.The a/f pains are a good sign that everything is stretching and once you've seen a heartbeat the chance is miscarriage is greatly reduced and is very rare 

Danni-your post could have been written by me.This journey is horrendous,and I think what the GP said about a francenstein baby is absaloutely terrible.He obviously has no experience of infertility and has no bedside manner.You will have a positive outcome I know I'm depressed but haven't seen anyone,am really struggling if I'm honest and worry how this will affect DS.Am discussing adoption with DH,as I feel I need a plan if further tx does'nt work,but DH absaloutely dead against it.Was crying with SIL obout my tubes the other day(she had 1 child at 39 and decided to try for another 1 when she was 42,but too late)but she did'nt get it,she was never consumed by the need for another child and just got on with her life when it did'nt happen,never had investigations etc She was cross with me and said that we were lucky to have what we have(which I know)so I feel I will never be able to discuss it with her again.All my friends have 2-3 children,as many as they desire,they don't get it either.They just say that just because you've got 2,3,10/kids the desire never goes and it's normal to feel like this. I can hand on heart say that it is NOT normal to feel like this.To wake up every morning,breathing,eating and living infertility,to have such a pain and grief in your heart for the children you hoped and still hope you will have,the empty chairs round the table,the piles of baby clothes stored away in the attic ,just in case!The tears when yet another friend falls pregnant at the drop of a hat and gives you advice how it's done!The deep sadness that your precious child may never have a sibling,someone to look out for eachother when we are long gone.Sorry about the mammoth post but I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone in your feelings,and we do understand and are here for you    

Katie-hope dh is ok.I think you can move GP's without moving house.I bet your getting excited about baby now.Im sorry about DH and hope  you get to the bottom of things soon.He has'nt got crohn's/colitis has he?Just a suggestion 

Loulou-how are you hun,been thinking about you    

Shrimper/Tillypops-Hope you're ok


----------



## chrisgib

Goodness, SanFran - I'm not sure how to follow that.   But thank you for your positive comments, it's definitely giving me a glimmer of hope.

We're all such a mess! But what this whole journey proves is that we're all strong driven women who won't just 'settle' without a fight to get what we want. Yes of course we're all lucky to have our LO's but that doesn't reduce the desire for another. Having that choice taken away just makes that desire even stronger.  Maybe I should add stubborn to the description of us all?   

How is everyone today?  Thanks to you all for your support last night - hearing about your days was just such a relief after thinking about nothing but babies.

Dannii - your doctor should get struck off for those comments. Let us have his email address and we/Katie will compose a letter of complaint for you - it will give Asda a break! 

Pocket - are you Ok? Hope you're feeling a bit better. Did you say it was your back that was hurting, or your pelvis? Do as Katie says and get it checked out. 

Katie - have you got SPD or have I got that wrong? Is that what you had with your first pregnancy?  Nightmare, wish I could make it better for you. 

Loulou - so relieved to see your post the other day, was worried about you.   

Lyns - have you got a new appointment now? Hope it's not too long - sorry if I've missed that news.

Dannii - you're amazing. Coping with so much and thinking about going in to treatment again. Don't underestimate how much you've been through. Maybe you could ask the GP about CBT rather than drugs, isnt' that what they're supposed to try first?

Shrimper - thanks for your positive comments on my situation too - it's great coming on here and chatting to you girls - makes my day. No one in the real world really understands. Hope you're feeling better today - no more torturing yourself with awful programmes about sick/unloved children!  

I've had a really good day today - completely in denial, enjoying the sunshine and a morning at the zoo; then a lovely acupuncture appointment this afternoon which made me feel great. I'm hoping that I'm being pessimistic, as the more I think about it, the nurse didn't really say anything. But my experiences, and research on here has lead me to think that it's all over. I have no control over the situation so logically there's no point worrying/stressing over it   . yeah right!  I've decided not to push for a sooner scan - if it's bad news I'd rather not know, happy living in my dream world for now, and i want there to be the best chance of some growth before they tell me it's all over.  Feel like I'm contradicting myself now.  So for now, I'm pregnant, 7w2d and due in june until someone proves otherwise!!

I'd better go, thanks again for all your care and support. I hope I can support you as much as you've helped me.

 to you all.

Christine
xxx


----------



## sanfrancisco

Chris-sorry about my mammoth post, I'm obviously not having a good day  .Glad you've had a positive day though,you ARE pregnant .xx PS your right about the determined and VERY stubborn in my case


----------



## Dannii_Doots

You girls give me fantastic support i really couldnt do it without you all. im going to try and explain why i depend on you.

i had 3 really good girlfriends we grew up together, shared everything. my teenage pregnancy, a mum dying, a sister comitting suicide, and all the usual things life throws at us. after i had jodie things began to change, they moaned when i couldnt go out plus most of the time i didnt want too. we were growing apart but if they needed me i was always there. when i told them i was infertile they didnt get it but i didnt expect them to either, just a hug would have done. instead they ignored me probably because they didnt know what to say. so i stopped talking about my problems painted my smile on and organised fun nights together. then when i had reached the ivf stage they disappeard again. havnt heard from any of them since last aug they all live local none of these friends have kids, they dont want them yet and i suppose that in itself was part of the problem. people change and infertility has changed me.

im not doing a poor me i promise its just that you girls understand me without me having to apologise for being me so thankyou


----------



## sanfrancisco

Danni-My sister commited suicide too! A huge shock and totally out of the blue,she was 22 and my best friend. My friends were also very good but but with infertility they just don't get it.We are all here for you


----------



## Dannii_Doots

Ahhh sanfran im very sorry for the loss of your sister... totally heartbreaking 

i must not have explained properly, it was actually my friends sister, she was 20 with 2 small babies 

it was also another friends mum that died

thankfully i have both my mum and sister.

sorry for the confusion im not very good with writing things down x


----------



## sanfrancisco

Danni-aww you are,I just can't read!!  xx


----------



## Tillypops

Ladies, I am going to lock this thread and start a new one for you sometime tomorrow.

Do you want to change the name, and if so what do you want it to be called?

Tilly
xxxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

sanfran


----------



## Kuki2010

Hi Ladies,
I don't think I wrote here ever. My first time.
But all I can say that feeling very upset and desperate and panicky,
Talking about sisters etc.. I have sis. Who is going through a very difficult time. And I am trying everything I have in my power to help her.. As well as fighting to complete my family.
And I so understand about making a new friends circle..As most of my friend do not understand what I am going through.. 
wishing you all lots and lots of luck in this awfully hard journey.
Love. Kukixx


----------



## natalie34

Christine - I know I posted on the other thread but just wanted to say thinking of you lots and lots     
I meant to say on the other thread that even my 8 week and 9 weeks scan on Tilly, she was still considered small and throughout the pregnancy I had growth scans as I wasn't very big and she popped out at 5lbs 9ozs, so I think was always going to be a little one.  Really hope and pray this is the case for you.  



Nat


x x x


----------



## chrisgib

Thanks Natalie. Your story is a really positive one. I've also managed to find quite a few good stories on the web, so trying to keep my chin up. I'm now stressing about the heart beat being so unclear/faint. I guess it will all tell if on Wednesday if that HB is still going. 

I feel quite 'unpregnant' today - symptoms have vanished. Maybe this is just the end after all. I don't know - I swing from despair one minute, to positive the next.

Dannii, Kuki, SanFran -    These IF issues are just the icing on the cake.

The rest of you - hope you're all OK. Wasn't sure if I'd be able to post on here today - or whether we'd have 'lockdown' (in an x factor stylee!)

Christine
xx


----------



## Tillypops

Teehee - no lockdown, just the thread is quite a few pages long so it's time for a new one and I wondered if you wanted a name change!

xxx


----------



## Katie4

Hi girls, 

Finally time to reply. 

Shrimper, Sanfran and Danni, I empathise so much with your desire for no 2 and all the emotional consequences it brings. Although we might not be constantly upset desperate and panicky we have all had massive episodes of feeling that way and it has certainly been all encompassing for me for long long periods of time. Dh couldn't understand how I would think about another baby probably 5 times an hour all day long and spend so long reading on the internet about birth stories, pregnancies, IF, you name it. I would just cry and cry. it caused us such problems. I couldn't talk to anyone about it other than you guys. In fact, the evening I had what I feel was my floodgate moment (late April, Dh was still a no on even trying, my sister had just given birth, two friends announced their second pregnancies over dinner which came as a total shock, another girl was pregnant, and the other two had 2 already so I felt like the freak at the circus) and drank a wee bit too much, cried quietly in the loo and put on a brave face through the longest meal of my life only to come home and sob my way through a pure heartbreaking and honest post about how truly desperate I was for another baby. I cried myself to sleep that night, And you are the only people that know about that night and how I really felt. 

It might all sound a bit gushy but honestly, only DH and I know about our If journey other than one friend who knows I have PCOS. And I've only just admitted to her that pregnancy announcements were hard from most people. She told me she was the same (they have unexplained IF and she's had 3 m/c but now has two healthy children) but no one else knows anything and partly that is because they just won't get it. 

I lost my mum when I was 24 to cancer and my Dad when I was 30 and there were two friends who got it, one who is clearly just a super and amazing person who had never been through it but just said all the right things and understood and the other - lost her Dad at 16. I suppose with a lot of traumatic events unless you have been through it you just can't support those who are going through it? Not always of course but certainly it took me a long time to "forgive" friends who I felt had let me down when Mum died. 

So, Chris, the pendulum will keep swinging sweetie so enjoy your positive moments.   

Shrimper, Danni, Sanfran - post away my lovelies. Good day bad day, you are right, apologies are not needed. We get it. 

PR, Lyns and Loulou - hope you are OK.   

Tilly, I can't remember what the other new thread is called? preg with no 2? If so what about "Wanting another - support for good days and bad days"? Or do we need to make people aware of bumps in the title? if so, "wanting another, support for good days & bad from Mummies with one or more- or is that just too long  

big hugs to you all...off for my first ever parent-key worker meeting at nursery!


----------



## Tillypops

Like the first suggestion - second might be a bit long but we could add something to alert people to bumps. I'll have a think.

Have a good meeting.

xxx


----------



## Dannii_Doots

How about something like.. ttc#2-treatment-bumps and beyond?

not very inventive though is it?


----------



## Twopence

Hi ladies - wow you have been chatting loads!! Hard to keep up   

I have to say, the thing that attracted me tot his thread inthe first place was the title - although it sounds a bit scary can we still keep some sort of element of that for our fellow FF'ers to know where to come to?

Katie - you did break a record with all that writing!! I hope getting some it down helped you n some way   to you for getting it all down. I TOTALLY empathise about the dinner party story. I have been in that situation myself but apparently I did a crap attempt at hiding the tears and a friend mentioned some weeks later she noticed. 

I am rubbish at keeping things to myself and so too many people know about our journey. And too many say ''well it happened once, it might happen again''. THE MOST unhelpful thing ever!! Last time I had two tubes and DH's little men were swimming (and the endo had been excised away). Now I have one tube and DH's swimmers are on a go slow. It's funny because I am happy to tell people I have problems but feel reluctant about DH in case people judge him in some way as not being 'man enough'.

So sorry to hear about your parents. I will try and think twice now before complaining about mine.

I hope your DH starts to get some answers soon. Sounds awful!! I can totally empathise with him after experiences I have had. Does any sort of pain relief work? 

Chris - how are you doing? Hope you are feeling positive right now. Sending massive   to you and positive vibes. If they worked on their own, coupled with everyone elses on here, I am sure there would be quads in there   

Hi Kuki - thanks for your words. I hope your sisters situation can be resolved and you get to extend your family? Sorry to hear you are feeling as the thread states. We all have been there and sometimes even keep going back. Hopefully you will hang around and these lovely ladies will help you out 

Sanfran -   sorry to read about your sister, that must have been so hard for you and i cant even begin to imagine your pain.The things you wrote in your post were so poignant. It really touched me about you keeping clothes in the attic. I do the same although I sometimes wonder why and if it is even 'jinxing' me in some way. Clutching at straws eh?

IF has just taken over my life since starting on the ttc journey and the damn endo before that. When do we ever let go and finally give in? And if another person tells me how to get pg - oh we did this/ have you tried that/ just relax... I'll   them!!! If I had a pound for each time i have heard it I'd have no worries about the cost of tx!!

Dannii -   I sould soooooo be complaining about that Dr. What a nightmare? Will you be trying CBT? I had it as I had really bad PND. Hope you are feeling OK. Sounds like you have been through alot with the infertility and the 'friends'. I hope you have a good support metwork around you now!!

AFM, well I am having problems with a friend of mine. We met at ante natal and became very close. However, she is pg with no 2 (due on Jan 15th - DD's birthday is Jan 14th and I have two other friends due on the 14th and 16th Jan - talk about rubbing it in!!) and she does not stop moaning. She wanted to give up work to be with DD1 and has, wanted to be pg with no 2 and is - after one attempt!! and wanted another girl - and that is what she is having. 

She is such a pessimist and constantly moans about how hard her life is, how it will be harder with two (despite knowing about our probs) and even calls her daughter a retard because she doesnt speak as well as my DD. How awful. 

Everyone else from ante natal has dissowned her and i dont know how to leave this friendship behind. She has no family around here and no friends. She has even asked me if I would be godmother. After my recent surgery she has suddenly decided that she is also very ill, needs to go into hospital and is demanding attention. She copies everything I do and even gives her DD the same nicknames I call mine. She then text to say that she was calling her UBB 'Beanie' which is what I did (and some people even still call her that   ). This really upset me (I had already had the tears over the pregnancy) and when I told her I had been in tears for 2 hours over the beanie name she just looked at me and said 'oh, not sure where it came from but it sounds good with the name Bethan (her DD1)

Blimey, cant believe I have waffled on. Sorry about that, has made me feel a bit better about it all but just not sure how to leave her behind, esp as she has asked me to take her to her anti-d injection next week and babysit when she goes to her vbac course!!

Pls ignore all that, such a small problem on the grand scale of things!!

Off to a wedding tomorrow in Hertford(!!) without DD, will miss her loads but she is going out with her Aunty so will be spoilt rotten. 

Have a good weekend all

lots of love

Shrimper xx

PS - for those of you have had ICSI can I please ask what your costs were?

thanks


----------



## Tillypops

New home (with new title) this way.............................

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=273877.msg4712321#msg4712321

Tilly
xxxx


----------

