# First Letterbox Contact



## rsm (Aug 20, 2009)

Hi everyone

We are due to write our first letters to birth family in a couple of weeks - I have to do three in total. 

I am completey stumped as to how to start the letter!! When I write to anyone I usually start with I hope this letter/email finds you well but obviously not going to do that. 

Do I just start with dear xxx we are writing to let you know blah blah blah?

How long does the letter have to be and how does it get signed off?!

Too much stressing over this - hope you can help lovely forum friends 😄


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I think I started along the lines of.... ****** is now 2 and is a happy, confident little girl with big blue eyes and pretty brown hair. I then continued to talk about her likes and dislikes, her favourite foods, songs she likes and how she will join in with actions etc, the holiday we had recently been on, her development, how she was to start nursery soon, that she had a cousin and friends and reassured she was very special and much loved by everyone. We signed off by saying 'we hope you like the picture ****** has drawn for you, (she did a colouring underneath the letter and we drew around her hand) from ***** and *****' We used our first names as they knew them from our meeting, however a friend hasn't met birth parents and signs 'from **** adoptive parents'. Hope this helps a little, good luck xxx

Oh, and we typed ours as we were sending 6 and it took up two thirds of a page. She did her little picture underneath


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## rsm (Aug 20, 2009)

Thanks so much Lolly that really helps and gives me some good ideas xx


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Silly question but why do you have to do more than one letter? Is this in your agreement to send to extended birth family members? Have I missed something?


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Rsm,  we are currently doing ours. They are on a USB drive so i can't access them from my iPad but if dh remembers to bring home his laptop on Monday I'll pm you ours from both last year and this year.
They very much followed Lolly's suggestions.
Flash


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## rsm (Aug 20, 2009)

Oh flash that would be so kind of you - I don't know why but I'm really struggling with it. 

We have to do 3 - one is for birth mum, one is for birth father and the other for sibling


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We do 6 but all the same letter, so just do on the computer and print x 6! One for BM and one for BD (who I don't expect will ever bother to pick one up from the office!) and the others for siblings who are in long term FC. The original plan was just the two to birth parents, but as they still have direct contact with siblings it was agreed at a review meeting we would send copies to the foster carers to share with them rather than hear random hearsay from birth mother, who twists things. Once little pink was adopted she told them all sorts of stories about her being taken away and really unsettled them. Contact was reduced and almost stopped. So by sending extra letters we are really covering our backs and protecting those vulnerable children from a load of make believe


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi
We have to send 5 in total to various BF members. TBH seems a bit OTT as they are all in contact with each other. Think we will also type and make them all the same. 

Just a question, should be be waiting for an SW prompt to write these letters? It hasn't been mentioned since matching. I could ask SW but to be honest it's never on my mind when they visit and as I'm not looking forward to writing it I guess it doesn't feel a priority to me ATM. 
How long after placement did you start letterbox? 

Thanks GG xx


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## rsm (Aug 20, 2009)

GG I had to sign something at a meeting during intros and agree the month to do letterbox. It will only be about 8 weeks into placement when I write them so personally I think it's really soon but I will do as I'm told I guess


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Wow rsm that is soon!! Seems a strange decision but like you say we have to do as we are told. 
Good luck with it. It depresses me to think of the replies we might receive.


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We had to do a settling in letter about 8 weeks into placement and also agreed a month for our yearly letterbox. Once we had signed the 'contract' (not a legal one but what they called it) we received a letter from placing authority detailing where to send it and when. After that you just have to remember, which is actually bloody hard because I truly forget I didn't give birth to her!


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