# Questions you were asked at Approval Panel



## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Hi wonderful people, 

Please can you list questions you were asked at approval panel. Would just like to plan some good sounding answers for likely ones as I will probably loose all sense in the moment. Any great answer welcome too  

Thank you x


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## SummerTilly (Aug 14, 2013)

I was asked a range of questions including:

Why did you apply to this LA?  (I referenced their Offstead rating, speed of response etc)

What do you know about Trauma?

How would you raise a child of a different religion to you?

Who would you tell about the child's background / CPR?

I was told I gave the best 'non-textbook' responses they've ever heard ;-)

All the very best of luck - deep breaths and the key is just to be yourself xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Thank you SummerTilly gosh you got a lot of qu's but you wowed them x


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

We were asked :
How we had found the process - when hubby said interesting he wanted him to give more detail about what he meant
How hubby thought he would cope with stress as he is in a low dose of antidepressant
My relationship with my dad and impact on lo of me not seeing him
Support network and who we would rely on most
My plans for taking time off work, whether work were being supportive, and my plans to reduce my hours when I go back.

Not long to go for you now


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Hi

These were ours:

1. Why do you think you'd make good adoptive parents?
2. How would your kids described you later in life as parents?
3. How was I going to cope without my family around?
4. What did we get, learn or take from the prep course last year?
5. How would I introduce my creativity into parenting my adopted child?
6. What would we do if our child/ren turned out to hate camping and boats?

Good luck xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Thank you wonderful ladies lots of food for thought. It would seem other than how's the process gone / what have you learnt questions are quite individual.


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Ooo this is very interesting food for thought, we've still got a while until we need to worry about this but I've book marked it for future reference 

Thank you x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

basically if you've had any 'issue' thats caused any hiccup/big discussion in your HS then it will get picked up..like a poor support network or something...you can be sure it'll be brought up!
kj x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

We and our SW felt that I was more likely to be questioned about specific issues, but the things we thought might come up were covered thoroughly in the report and didn't.

We were asked about support network, as a lot of our support was geographically not that close.

What we felt we'd gained from the childcare experience we'd got doing voluntary work during assessment. 

What we'd felt about the process (talk about a question you can't answer honestly, ridiculous thing to ask at approval panel).

Hubby was questioned at length about his sister, who has mental health issues, which was clearly specific to our situation.

Second time we went to approval panel it was somewhat more extensive, because we'd only recently had Wyxling placed, and those were questions very specific to our situation which I'm sure wouldn't crop up.

Good luck.

Wyxie xx


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

We had 

1) why had we leaned to having a preference for a girl ? 

2) What did we think would be the most challenging part of being a parent ? 

3) what would we do if LO had allergies /was frightened of our animals ?  ( we have 6 rabbits , 2 cats and 3 ponies ) 

4) how had we found the process . 

Good luck xxxx


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## Smudgey (Mar 13, 2012)

The first question threw us a bit as we really didn't expect this to be asked lol ! 
The animal question I expected as we had said we wouldn't rehome our two elderly cats if there was an issue . And we stuck to our guns and we were still approved . ( what type of person would rehome 2 x18 year old cats who we have had all their lives and have been my 'babies' for 18 years and are both on medication ,) they accepted this answer . Xxxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Thank you so much.  All answers are so useful.  There hasn't really been any issues or major focused on points in HS. I think we'll be asked about the dog, our nephews particularly the oldest with a disability and perhaps DH parents his father's death and more details about his mum as she doesn't feature in our PAR as much as mine x


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

one other thing, i did a little book of our support network (well it was more of a blue peter style scrapbook filled with letters and photos from friends and family saying how they knew us and what great parents we'd be ) it was a huge hit at panel and got passed around the table for them all to read.  

for me, it was a great project to help pass the time with all the waiting we did.

xx


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hello


We were asked how my experiences growing up will help with our lo (I was bullied at school)
How we found the adoption process
What we were going to do regards to time off after placement
What experience my dh was getting with children (he didn't have much until he started looking after my nephews every weekend)
Why we had gone for 0-2 year old and siblings if possible


Some others that I can't remember but they were about the par, so nothing major.


Good luck


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Thank you McGyver hopefully nothing too scary then x x


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## lynsbee (Jun 21, 2013)

We were asked about our plans at the moment for time off work when a cholds placed and if planning on returning to work etc
How we would sort of protect our childs identity...cant remember the actual question but we just said we would go in to depth with people on a need to know basis others would be yes s/he is our daughter/son yes they were adopted full stop. Others may not even fet that much.
There was also a question about us. On the par it was said yes we may have little niggly arguments but all the normal stuff but some times the best way to deal with it is to give each other space and how would we do this without making our child anxious. So we explained we weren't talking days or even hours we are talking 10minutes. I'm glad we didnt answer at the same time though as dh said he might just go have a shower where as I started to say I might just clean the bathroom lol at least we were along the same lines! 
I think there was one other thing but can't remember. They admitted they struggled with questions to ask as our PAR was so thorough. 
We thought the bedroom issue would come up. As we need to divide our bedroom to make a second room which is all in hand and a local builder friend to do it for us. This never came up our sw was surprised too.

Iknow its easier said than done...I was a nervous wreck but really there is nothing to worry about. I was shaking like mad, then after the panel intros our sw summerised her report and about us and omg the tears started. Its not everyday you meet someone and within 2months you have let them Into your entire life. Then that person sits there telling all these people what wonderful loving people you are and why we should be able to adopt. I still 11days later find the odd tear slipping from that day.
Sorry didn't mean to driffle on.
Good luck xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Thanks lyndseebee that's lovely x x


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## oliver222 (Oct 8, 2009)

Panel was lovely. Our Sw wasn't there as been in accident so his boss was there, so panel had said that may have a few questions as Sw hadn't been there but then didn't ask much.

Asked how we found process?
Medical advisor asked about our lifestyle (Both have bmi over 25, told her that we had both lost weight and she was happy with this)
I do voluntary work and they asked how I had found it
Asked dh why he had kept his fathers surname (he has never met his bf, he left before he was born) and not changed it. And how he would feel if adopted child wanted to meet his bf as he had never had a desire to meet his.
And lastly asked how we would deal with a difficult situation if matched with a child that came with legal complications and complex dealing involving other agencies etc.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Oh no just read Lynsbee post and realised I'm likely to cry at panel as I am an extremely emotional person. This whole process is so emotional. 
Has anyone else cried and if so how was it received? Sounds like it was ok for you Lynsbee  
Do I need to hold back?


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I will probably cry on the way there and back but I am very hard faced emotionally in front of others so hoping that will hold my nerve there but we shall see x x


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

good luck DIY Diva! 
I didn't cry on my wedding day so actually may be ok on the day. As long as I'm prepared :-/
Xxx


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## lynsbee (Jun 21, 2013)

If you cry hun don't worry about it everyone has emotions they have seen plenty of people cry in there it's a huge thing. Plus they could see I was nervous as soon as I sat down, I was prepared though with tissues in hand lol! I had my proper cry when I called my Mum to let her know how it went. I still catch myself now!!!
Oh.....thinking about it I didn't cry on my wedding day either. I actually think its the IVF that turned me into such an emotional person. Around people I use to keep it all in and at times I still can...It seems that panel just wasn't one of those times.
Good Luck ladies!! xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Very true Lynsee I think that very few people ever know the extremes of emotion you go through with infertility so it's all well and good not crying when you only ever go through normal emotion levels. I will take my tissues in case.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Thanks Lynsbee. Yes I suppose it's to be expected as is such a big thing. Yes IF has changed me so much, for the better but yes has also increased my emotional feelings. 

Good thread DIY

 xxxxx


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Oh God! I didn't even think about the possibility of bursting into tears! I cry at the TV (I cried watching the animated TalkTalk advert for the first time!). Must remember to stuff some tissues in my handbag lol.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I love the one with the Ballerina and the Space man but have no idea what or how it is selling me


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

That is the talktalk one!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I know   I just have no understanding of what TalkTalk are trying to sell me. I just go ah so cute I'd love that cushion at the end but no idea of the product it's illustrating x x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

I think it's meant to encourage you to spend time with your loved ones in front of the tv.


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Lol I WILL cry 😢😢😩😩😂😂


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Oh I totally missed that message that would make sense but if they market the cushion I will definitely buy it  .


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

I cried at matching panel and the chair said 'someone get that girl a tissue!'


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## lynsbee (Jun 21, 2013)

I can't even imagine matching panel lol!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Lol love it 'girl' how old was the chair 786? x x x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Don't worry about crying, I was nearly sick in our first one.  Only one I cried at was Bladelet's matching panel; we were both so strung out by that point at all the waiting it just didn't feel real until someone had definitely said yes.

Only other thing I'm aware of a number of couples being asked about at approval panel in our area, was essentially where there were couples who were both middle class with no significant issues in either of their lives (infertility/miscarriage etc seems to not count, for some reason) and they were questioned on how they would cope with serious challenges when they'd never really had to face any serious challenges in their lives previously.

I'm as sure as anyone can be that you'll be fine.  Being first in the morning is great.

Wyxie xx


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## Hunibunni (Jan 18, 2009)

Hi DIY Diva just wondering what questions you were asked in the end and whether or not they were surprise ones or you kind of knew what they would ask any way.  I've booked marked this to read when I finally get to panel stage!  

Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Hi Huni, 

We were asked
1. How had we found the process? - we are the first couple to use the new PAR and timescales for our agency so they discussed that with us. 
2. What had we learnt about adoption that we hadn't known from our own research etc? - we talked about empathy and understanding of the birth families situation because I work with children from challenging backgrounds then that was the new information for us really rather than stuff about the children. 
3. My DH's commitments to the family farm how time consuming was it, did he have financial involvements etc? - the answer to that was no and it was a hobby not something he had to do we would be lead by our children's interests post placement. 
4. How had we found the activity day we had attended? That was more about general interest than us. 
5. How we felt we had come to terms with not having a biological child and got ready to move on to adoption. 

They were nice to us an tried to put us at ease but there were about 11 of them all sat staring at us round a massive table so easier said than done. 

All the stuff we thought they might raise I think they discussed with our SW before we went in. However they said our report was very good and they struggled to think of questions for us xxx


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## Hunibunni (Jan 18, 2009)

Thanks DIY Diva for your reply. That didn't sound too bad and looks to me that you had a fantastic PAR if they were the only questions they could think of! I bet you're glad it's over though and now it's just a wait for a match. How exciting! I'm just starting prep next week so still early days for us but I'm looking forward to getting things started 

Thanks again I really appreciate your reply and at least gives an indication of the type of questions.

Xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

No problem, so exciting starting Prep you'll be in the thick of HS before you know it. The biggest thing is your own nerves and worries but there is no getting away from them. You will be great I am sure x x x


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Well done and congratulations DIY Diva! How exciting!!
Xxxxx


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## Lizard39 (Nov 25, 2011)

Just adding the questions we were asked to help those that book marked it like I did for when the time comes! 

1) how had we found the process
2) what had we learnt throughout the process
3) how do we recognise when each other are getting stressed
4) question about my rehabilitation/fitness after surgery last year 
5) as we are both very successful in our careers and achievements how would we cope if adopting a LO didn't go to plan and as we expected


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