# Have you changed a name to something similar?



## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

My very good friend (doesn't really do message boards!) has just had a 2 year old placed with her and her husband. They have been advised to change the name - they have chosen something slightly similar - so think changing to Charles from an unusual and strangely spelled name like Chandiller.


I suggested using a similar nickname to start off with e.g. change Chandiller to Chandy then to Charlie. But i thought someone on here might have a similar experience to share?


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Social workers suggest double barrelling the first name for instance sara becomes sara-chloe become chloe-sara and then just chloe. You dont need to keep it simiar if it is a name change. Poor example sorry but you can imagine. 
Sorry it isnt specific advice but it is the advice social workers give. 
Hope it goes well x x


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

They wanted to change it to something similar and they have already decided on the new name. It would be ridiculous to double barrel the names in question to be honest!


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

My friends changed the names of their children aged 1 and 2. They didn't bother with any double barrelling and just started calling them the new names. It really wasn't a problem.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

See, I think they are having a problem at the moment, but perhaps it will pass.


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## positivethoughts (Feb 25, 2010)

Hi - we have changed first names - as we were advised to too - but are not considering whether to keep any middle names or have original name as middle name... or whether our children would rather a new start.  They are too young to ask at the moment.. I would love to know how people who have been adopted think about this, but it seems so hard to hear their voice.  I would go ahead and change their first name if that is what is being advised - but depends why it is being advised perhaps, if it is for security reasons, then maybe something not too similar?


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Double barrelling may sound silly to an adult, but I imagine it would sound much less so to a 2 year old, especially if it was done in quite a playful way, sort of like adding a nickname, and with no attempt at explanation.  We call our kids all sorts of affectionate nicknames and they get used to it and reply/respond absolutely fine.  I call my daughter Munchkin more than I call her Wyxling, but sometimes I use Wyxling Munchkin, and sometimes the other way round.  I'd be inclined to do it that way and gradually transition.  It doesn't need to be a quick process.

Positivethoughts, we changed our daughter's name after being advised to.  We changed it so something which sounds completely different, first and middle names.  We really had to change the first name for security reasons, kind of a shame because in addition to a name change being tough for children at that age, I liked the name!  I wouldn't have chosen it, and if I had, I'd definitely have spelled it right, but I did like it.  Her middle name was also spelled wrong, and quite unusual, and tbh it fell into the category of stupid made up name in my head.  I have some serious concerns about both our children being found and approached by birth parents through social networking before they're ready to deal with that, and felt that changing any unusually spelled names was necessary.  I wanted to keep some connection though, because I didn't want her to think we'd just chucked the whole thing out the window without a thought when she gets older and we tell her.  We picked a middle name with a clear connection to her previous first name.  

With our son it was much more straight forward.  His first name is a mainstream name, and by some miracle spelled correctly, so we're keeping it.  His middle name is unusual, and we're changing it.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

The thing with double barreling is not that it sounds silly to an adult, but that the names are too similar so it would sound like you'd said the name, and then said it again wrong. I think that may be what's confusing the child, that it sounds like their name has been said wrong.


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## panorama (Feb 7, 2005)

We changed our sons name to something similar and he took to the new name pretty much immediately but he was only 10 months, with a 2 year old may be a bit harder and may take a little more time for them to get used to it. I guess social workers may have more experience of this? Maybe try with a nickname and then move to the name bit by bit?


Good luck x


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

It sounds like it's going a bit better now a few weeks in, phew!


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Glad to hear it.  We were told that around the 18 months to 2 years age it takes about 6-8 weeks for an idea like this to "take hold" and stop being strange.  I think even with the very hectic start we had with Wyxling, that sounds about right.  She quite strongly rejected the idea of her new name being hers for quite a few weeks, but around the 2 months mark it seemed like she started to accept it.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Just to add to the discussion, we were advised to change Bug's first name as his original name was a distinct made-up name, but they'd pretty much already made that decision and done it in foster care - to a similar but more mainstream one which we thankfullylove.  We also decided to change his middle name and add two middle names of significance to our family instead, as his original middle name was his birth dad's name, who was a seriously negative factor.

He didn't appear to have any trouble having made the leap, and I think the FC played lots of name games with him to cement it in.


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

We were told to change our lo's name as she has already has our surname. We liked her name and after it was shoved down our throats about why it was so important to KEEP  a name we rebelled and didn't change her name. We have changed the way you spell it so it looks like a different name on paper but it sounds exactly the same and we gave her a new middle name. She is 21/2 and has taken her middle name really well. Before when you asked her what her name was she would say it but now she says both names and you can see she is really excited about having a new name.

Skyblu.xxx


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