# Would really appreciate some advice...



## AdoptionDolly (Oct 30, 2012)

We have had our 9 month old home with us for nearly 2 weeks.  We are following the routine she had at her foster carers (didn't have much of a routine as such when it came to naps.. she slept in the pushchair when they were out and about - but we are putting her in her cot).  She is great in the mornings and seems happy and pretty settled, but then when she wakes up after her afternoon nap she is very irritable (laughing one minute crying the next) and it is a tough few hours until bedtime.. by which time she is exhausted.  Not sure what to do... and why the evenings are just so different from the mornings.  

Would really appreciate any advice.

Thanks
AD


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Sounds like she needing more sleep how long is her naps?  Hiw long she sleeping at night?  Any teething going on.  So much is happening around the age xx


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## AdoptionDolly (Oct 30, 2012)

She sleeps for 12 hours during the night, one hour in the morning (she wakes up really nicely and plays in her cot for a while) then about 1.5 hours in the afternoon (she wakes up crying and then it is difficult to amuse her).  She could be teething (she is chewing her thumb) and has her poo (sorry if TMI) is loose (only once a day so not diarrhoea).


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

My daughter is 9 months old and has 2 naps during the day of between 3-4 hours.  If she is waking up after 1 and a half hours i would give her a 3rd nap for an hour or so.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi,

Just another slant - my lil guy is older and on one nap but if he wakes himself he can be a cranky little so and so for about an hour. He used to only sleep for about an hour so I gradually trained him to sleep a little longer by disturbing his sleep slightly. Now he sleeps about 1.5 - 2 hours in afternoon. 

But here's the thing if he wakes himself at that time he can still be cranky but if I go in and gently wake him he's all smiles. Do you think that make a difference? Otgerwise I would also check if she's hungry if she's sleeping after lunch. My little guy goes through calories so again he tends to need something after a nap.
HTH x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

Hi Adoption Dolly, congratulations!

Just to give another perspective entirely.  Your l/o has only been with you two weeks and her whole world has just turned upside down.  When she's tired, she's going to miss her f/c more.  Bedtime again, is something that is just going to be hard until she gets used to you.  From her point of view you don't look right, you don't smell right, and everything around her is different.  I know it's really, really hard, but that just takes a little bit of time to get past, and at that age it probably won't be that long until she starts to recognise you as the familiar person who is there for her when she's tired/cranky/upset.  I'm not saying that she wouldn't necessarily benefit from a little more sleep in the day, but I would be more concerned about just being there for her and getting as much contact with her as you can when she's upset!

Another thing to think about - around 9 months she may just be starting to get a little more active and that can make babies need more sleep.  Bladelet only ever slept 1/2 hour in the day in f/c, and he was fine with that.  He started crawling pretty much just as intros started and was motoring around like his bum was on fire.  Ever since then he's needed at least 2 hours in the day and 12 hours a night, but it did take a while to get him into the routine of sleeping in the day, because he wasn't used to it.  For a bit he was just tired and cranky.  I just used to persevere with trying to get him to sleep when I could see he needed it, and I help him while he went to sleep when I could.  After a few weeks he got into a regular nap pattern and it just worked.  Now he settles himself fine in the cot if he's not asleep when I put him in, although I still hold him and give him bottle/sing to him for a little while before I tuck him in.

All the best, and congratulations again on your daughter.

Wyxie xx


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Hi Adoption Dolly

I'm in a similar situation as you with a similar age son. We've been home a week today! He too slept when he wanted in his travel cot from between 20 mins to an hour once or maybe twice a day. I wanted to get more into a routine and we couldn't get him to fall asleep in the travel cot at ours so I've resorted to going out in the pram until he's asleep, mine reclines right back so I don't mind if he sleeps in it as long as he sleeps. What I've found is hat the timing of the naps are really important, in the morning is like him to be asleep by 9.30 or 10 at the latest, he wakes around 6.30, and we have lunch at 12 and then I go out again about 1.15 with a view of falling asleep again which sometimes  can take 30 mins. If he doesn't fall asleep by 2.30 I've had it as he wakes up too late and then he's really cranky and like your LO it's a real struggle to cope till bed time. Could you bring forward your afternoon nap at all?  Hope you're getting on fine otherwise, I'm coping with sleepless nights!


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## Poppets Mammy (Mar 7, 2011)

Hi

Don't have any experience or advice to offer in regards to required sleep/naps for a 9month old but just wanted to echo what Wyxie said. It's still early in the placement (I know it doesn't feel early when your living it, it feels like it's been a long time since you met them but really for the Lo's it's not). Poppet is much older then your LO but in the early placement days she was often distressed for quite some time after a nap as it's still a little unfamiliar for them and in a post nap sleepy state it just gets a bit too much for them.
However when we were going through it Poppets sleeping routine was naff and she was very sleep deprived and I read that when young ones are sleep deprived they can wake from naps distressed as they feel what is almost like physical pain due to being so exhausted. This was Deff a factor for us and perhaps is for you (again I don't know much about 9month olds). 
Please don't feel upset or defensive about what we've said (I used to when receiving such comments) it's just an unfortunate fact of early placement and carer transfer, it just takes time.   It's awful when they wake up all upset and cranky and inconsolable - poppet could easily be distressed for an hour post nap   it was awful but it passed.

Xx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Hi

My son is nearly 6 months old and has been with us around 3 weeks now (we have his older sister aged 17 months who joined us 5 months ago). Like many others he had no nap routine - we were told he 'wouldn't nap' and only had 30 minutes a day if lucky. Obviously I felt this was ludicrous! The foster home was manic and the poor little mite wasn't given any opportunity to sleep, yet did 12 hours at night (when they all finally shut up!).

We had a hell of a time in the early days with a hysterically screaming, angry baby. He was grumpy a lot because he was sleep deprived. My wonderful sister sent me the Gina Ford sleep solution book and her routine has 'saved the day' for us. It took about two weeks to cement in place and he would go for each nap screaming his head off but now he actually smiles when I put him down in his cot!

The routine is:

Up at 7am

Nap at 9am for 45 minutes only

Nap at 12 and up no later than 2.15 (so 2hrs 15 mins max)

Nap at 4.30 for just 15 minutes

We found getting from the afternoon nap to bedtime was hellish. By 5pm he'd be a screaming angry baby and we had to get to 6.30pm! But those 15 minutes at 4.30 have changed that completely! He goes through to bed awake and happy and goes down awake and chats and burbles to sleep.

I echo wyxie in that having been with you only two weeks is likely part of the issue - the last three weeks have felt like three years to me but it is only weeks! But you might find adding a strictness to sleep in the day helps things enormously.

With the 4.30 I give him 15 minutes from when he actually falls asleep (within 5 minutes usually) and he has to be up by 5pm but I always have him up by 4.50 latest.

It will sort itself out, you'll see, but I know how painful the hours until bedtime can be with an exhausted bubba! 

X


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## AdoptionDolly (Oct 30, 2012)

Thank you so much for all your help and advice.  We have started on a new sleeping routine (we're on day 3) which is basically napping approx every 2.15 hours, a short one in the morning, a long one after lunch and another little catnap late afternoon... and are amazed at the improvement.  She is still a little bit grizzly after 6pm.. but other than that she has been happy and smiley all the day!  

Thanks again  

ADx


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## peacelily (Feb 24, 2006)

Like


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Bit late to this but our little boy often needed a quick pre-bed nap at around 5pm when he started being more mobile!


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