# donor anonymity + child's rights



## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Hello,

We may end up using a donor. I have not yet decided whether I ought to have treatment in a place which means my child could contact their donor if they wished. For reasons entirely separate from the anonymity question, I would like to have treatment in a country which has more anonymity than the UK. But this would mean that my child would not be able to choose to contact their genetic relation if they wished to do so. All other things being equal, I'd want my child to be able to decide, just in case they did want to make contact, but all other things aren't equal, in that it conflicts with what seems to me like the place where I might be more likely to be successful and where I would feel comfortable going for treatment. The child would have basic info - medical, about the person's appearance etc - but not a name and address (except in the unlikely event of needing a donor organ or something, when anonymity is waived). So, I would like to know whether this is likely to cause a problem. I have a couple of questions:

Is there any research into how many donor-conceived people would choose to make contact with their donor? (I imagine many would not. It is different from adoption, after all, insofar as the donor never intended to be a father/mother but only to help another family have a child. However I have no idea if this suspicion is right.)

Has anyone read any useful discussion of this issue? (I've had a look at the DCN site. They point out the issue, and suggest making decisions which you feel confident with, and would feel able to justify to your child. I certainly agree with that but I'd like to find out a bit more about what's known about how donor-conceived people might feel about non-anonymity).

Has anyone got any personal experiences from their own donor-conceived children which might be relevant?

Many thanks in advance for any help. 

Also, I know these are really emotive issues so I just want to add that I know I'm asking about something many people on here will still be struggling with, and I fully respect the different decisions people have made / are making, and I hope that none of the phrasing / language I've used seems misplaced. 

PP.


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## upsydaisy (May 9, 2009)

Hi 

A similarish topic is being discussed on the single ladies thread if you'd like to take a peek http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=302506.0

Upsyx


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## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Thank you Upsy!
x


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## wehavethreecats (Feb 12, 2012)

hi purplepeak

Interesting question... and one i have been mulling over for a while, though my stumbling block is that most (all?) donor conceived adults will be as a result of sperm-donation, rather than egg, and socially that feels very different... therefore, how donor conceived people respond to it is likely to be different.

I had a quick search through some research databases, and came up with no clear data on number of donor conceived 18+ year olds contacting the donor...  i do wonder if HFEA collect and report data on this. I'd be surprised if no-one is keeping tabs on it.  Although it would be different for non-UK countries, it might give a bit of a steer i suppose.

3cats
x


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## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

UK donor link might have the stats your looking for - but they are transferring to the NGDT trust at the moment.

http://www.ukdonorlink.org.uk/
http://www.ngdt.co.uk/

/links


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## purplepeak (Jan 31, 2012)

Hello Anthony and 3cats,
Thank you very much for the info and thoughts.
P.


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