# Muslim Posters - Part 2



## Dibley

Welcome to your new home ladies 

Love Dibley x


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
I think everyone is out and about enjoying the sun and rain!!!

I got a letter from the hospital saying I am going to get my results on Tuesday instead on Wednesday now...please pray inshallah that the results come back clear.

Other than that I feeling quite fed up; my foot hurts, i think my fibroid has grown back, my bruising from biopsy still hasn't gone down...bah humbug.

Inshallah next week brings good news for everyone waiting (Kitten and Iman, I'm praying for you too)

love
Snowbelle


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## miss n.k

salaam to everyone

how are you all? ain't been on ff for a week was missing all of you.
I'm still trying to convince my DH for another tx of ICSI it a hard job though lol.
i pray for the one's waiting results i hope you get the result you want inshall ah.
  such a boring sunday today miserable weather.

hope you all enjoy your BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY.

take care all

love NEELAM X X X


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## DreamTeam

salam everyone,
just trying to kill time on the internet, desperately trying to make time pass as i literally can't sleep  
Inshallah I need all your duas tomorrow, please pray my results are clear ameen

love to everyone
Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
I'm soooo angry I just need to vent...so here goes:

Bascialy I had my biopsy last week and it takes a week to get the results. I got a 1st appointment for tomorrow, then on saturday I got a letter saying that my appointment was today, fine fair enough I'm not working at the moment because of my foot so I'm flexible. But now today I got a letter sent on friday saying that my appointment has been re-schduled to the 3rd of june. Thats later than the national guideline. If I was at work I'd already have the day off and might not even know until I got there. But the thing which is drivng me insaine right now is that I can just about breath, my mum can just about breath, my husband can just about breath...how the hell do they expect us to sit on baited breath until next week...its just not on. Its unfair. They know the clinic they are running, they know my family history I just find it hard to believe that they would just play with someone like this. I feel so sick in the pit of my stomach. I'm just so angry I can barely breath. On top of it I canceled my counseling session with my GP this evening because it clashed with my hospital appointment. I am so angry and infuriated. I just don't know what to do.

love
Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

thanks barbiedoll  , i just feel so angry and tierd and cranky! I am soooo nervous  . If its good news they should just say so . I just feel so sick with fear. I've made up my mind to go to the appointment and see if I get anywhere. My post is normally about a week out so I am just going to say that I didn't get it. I am so angry. I've been ringing their number all morning and there is absolutely no response.

love
Snowbelle


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## Fiffi

Snowbelle, I am so sorry to hear the way they've been treating you. I can understand your frustrations but I can only repeat with Barbie said...hold strong. Inshallah, you will receive the news that you are hoping to get.  

Barbie, how are you doing? Hope you had a good Bank HOliday. 

Hi Neelam, dont think we've talked much but you are in my   . Your DH will come around seeing things your way, IA. 

We went to Buxton where DH's sister lives and had a fab time. The weather was sunny on Saturday so had a real good day out. 
Finally DD is not waking up at 4 am! whew! What a relief! I was seriously contemplating NEVER to take her on a holiday
to a different time zone EVER! lol

Hi to everyone else....hope all of you are doing good.

hugs
F
xxx


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## DreamTeam

asalam alaykum everyone,
Alhumdulilah I managed to see someone today despite the disaster this morning and the lump is clear  ...its just a lump, no cancer, no pre-cancer, nothing growing  . I feel so lucky. I started crying as soon as I found out. The lump is 1mm short of the mandatory extraction size so I have opted to have it taken out inshallah. Thank you all so much for duas and for listening to me. Inshallah once it is out we can get back to ttc  

love 
Snowbelle

ps
Party in this room


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## Iman

FABULOUS!!! 

ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!!!!        

Im so happy for you, so glad Snowbelle!

Now....give yourself time to breath and relax and celebrate - but still consider chasing up that complaint on them for how rubbish they treated you! 

Insha'allah the extraction goes well and you dont have to wait too long for that either - I think you are doing the right thing there opting to have it removed.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALL PRAISE IS DUE TO ALLAH!   

love and du'a ( to all other girls too!)

xx


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## Fiffi

Wonderful news Snowbelle....very happy for you. IA all will work out fine from now on..

I hope you still take them to task though for the way they treated you.

hugs
F
xx


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## miss n.k

salaam to all sisters

hi Barbiedoll hope your okay and hi to Fiffi aswell. and everybody else as i don't now all your names yet but inshalah Will get to know you all very soon.

just wanted to talk to you all I'm having some problems  I'll explain so you can get a picture of what I'm going through. The thing is i get a period every month but i always start after 3 weeks and have a long bleed for bout 7-8 days, this time i started my period 2 days late and it is not a proper period as i started on Saturday and stopped bleeding on Monday and since getting Little spotting in the day. i went to See me GP who did a pregnancy test and checked everything over as I'm also getting very light headed and headaches.
he has told me to repeat my pregnancy test after a week because because i possibly be pregnant. Ive also started taking my FOLIC ACID tablets along side my EVENING PRIMROSE OIL TABLETS. I'm now happy and very nervous and scared as well. don't know what to think      
I also smoke    i know its a very bad habit but inshalah i will soon stop
as I'm getting help from my GP.

i just wanted to get all ThIS of my chest please do DUA for me i hope i get a positive result.               

GP also said sperm could be implanting onto the egg that is why he advised me to do the test again next week or also it could be the sperm try-ed to implant but nothing really worked......
TO ALL DO DUA FOR ME........ IM SO SCARED AND WISH IT IS POSITIVE.

NEELAM X X X X


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## miss n.k

HEY HI bARBIEDOLL

i have to do a home pregnancy test next Tuesday        

I'm also feeling very light headed this has never happened to me before.    just do dua for me my sister inshalah i could give you good news. 
how early can you find out if you are pregnant?

neelam x x


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## DreamTeam

Salam everyone

Miss NK - That sounds fantastic! Inshallah it has happened. I would say however, stop taking the evening primrose oil as it induces contractions in the womb which can effectively lead to an early miscarriage. I stopped taking evening primrose oil once we started ttc. However I have read of ladies on FF who take it for during AF and the first half of their cycle and stop taking it after ovulation and the second half of the cycle. As for the folic acid stick with it. It doesn't agree with me so I take it in the evening and so by the time its morning I don't feel so horrible.

Imaan and Kitten - Inshallah I'm praying really hard that you both come back with good news inshallah.

Everyone - thank you so much for your duas and positive vibes and for the lovely party messages!

Inshallah Allah(swt) will answer all our prayers!

love
Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Barbiedoll - just go into any local bakery and tell them what you want. If they make cakes they are normally able to make your design.
Sounds like your little princess is going to have quite a party!


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## soni

Salaam All,

First of all thanks a lot for keeping me in ur thoughts and prayers,it's much appreciated!!!! 

I had a ERPC done last thurs and feeling much better afterwards.I think I needed this closure and to move forwards....It's hard to start again  

Iman and KittenPaws,I am thinking of u both and Insha'Alah u will have ur good news today,Ameen  

Miss Nk,u r in my thoughts too....hopefully u will have ur good news too Insha'Allah!!! 

Fazworld and Barbiedoll,thanks for asking about me.May Allah shower his blessings on u both always  

Fiffi,glad to know that u and ur DD is settling nicely after ur hols!!! 

Snowbelle, I can't tell u how happy I happy I am for u....u have been through a lot recently..now relax and enjoy ur life...hopefully ur foot will get better soon as well!!! 

I hope I haven't missed anyone .Oh and I have applied for ARGC for the next attempt.Don't know what I am getting myself into but seems to be the right step at the mo  

Love to all,

Soni


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## Iman

Hi ladies

Just to clear any confusion - DH did his SA this morning at the hospital - all went ok apparently though he doesnt want to talk about it much!    Understandable - I mean he did it, thats all I need to know! lol 

The results though - we wont get these til we see our Urologist on 16th June....apparently takes 2 -3 weeks to get the results which I think is rubbish considering they test the sample pretty much there and then. However we have to have the consultant explain them to us - so have to wait til then.....

KP - get your bum on this board and tell us how you got on! we want to hear!!

Soni lovely to see you - hope you are ok insha'allah. Neelam - sounds promising insha'allah! try not to go too stir crazy over the next week! lots of du'a!!

Barbie and Snowie and everyone else - salaams and du'a....

I have to say that when I started that inital thread to see if there were any other Muslim posters I did not anticipate it would be such a success ! Masha'allah....I dont really use any other boards anymore - this is the only one now where I can chat to likeminded sisters and also you know I dont have that much to report anyway......insha'allah 16th JUne changes that for us though.

Take care  - babydust to all !  

xx


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## miss n.k

salaam everyone

hope you are all in good health, well im feeling very bloated at the moment   got a very swollen tummy, I'm definitely going to stop taking my evening primrose oil tablets for now anyway. I'm going to wait till next Tuesday then I'm going to book an appointment with the nurse its best to get the blood test done. I'm also getting pains in my tummy but hope its for the best. 

thank you all sisters for all your duas                  

take care and speak to you all soon
love neelam x x x x x xx


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## KittenPaws

Salams sisters,

InshAllah this finds you all well. JazaKhallah for all your wonderful messages. Alhamdulillah all went well yesterday and we saw our little ones heart beat. It was amazing. 

Feeling like puking so not gonna type too much, barely can focus without wanting to puke! will try catch up later,
love to all

xoxo


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
Kitten - its so cute that you are feeling sick!!!! Inshallah you little one will be a real fighter and stay nice and strong 

Iman - Inshallah your DH's results will come back with a positive analysis   

Soni - yay! You are back! 

Barbiedoll -  I can't believe you are already preparing for your princess' birthday - thats ages away!!!

Miss NK -            inshallah inshallah

On another note, have any of you guys seen this post Topic: IVF twins dumped because they're girls 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=142003.msg2181450;boardseen#new

Astugfirullah, I feel so sick that people still do this . I mean this is why Islam came to prevent things like this. This is no different to going and burying a baby girl alive in the dessert. I just can't get over the fact that a) they wanted a baby (hence why IVF in India) and b) they just left them . Not only that, its just so sad because these babies won't get a proper 'forever' home until they are a lot older  I feel really sick and sad at the same time. Inshallah these little girls will get parents that love them so much and can give them a proper home forever ameen.

love to everyone
love

Snowbelle


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## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
I'm sorry for not catching up sooner but for some reason your posts weren''t showing up on my 'new replies thing' probably because of the name change.

I'm having a morning of procrastinating, which is very naughty as ds is at nursery and I should be working, so this'll be a quick one :

Miss NK - I am     that you have good news next week.

Snowbelle - so pleased to hear your results came back all clear. NHS is rubbish, my mum had a biopsy done on her finger a while ago, and the results took about a month to come back, also all clear.

Soni - I am thinking of you too.  Let me know if you do go to ARGC - I'm seeing the Lister next week, but may be cycling again at ARGC in June/July. 

Barbie, Iman, Fifi big hello to all of you.

Thanks for asking about our short break, we had a lovely time, unfortunately it's been back to work, so am not able to enjoy the sunshine  

Mariax


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## jadeline

Hello Sisters:

I am american, husband egyptian, both muslims, been married for 2 years and in our second cycle. I just found out my sugar level is way too high and for this trial i am taking cidophage 3 times daily. Have anyone else been in this kind of treatment for sugar while waiting to do FET?

Salam Sisters.

Jade


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## Fiffi

Kitten - am so happy for you. You must be over the moon. IA, all will go well. 

Hi Jade and welcome. I dont have experience of what you are going through but I have heard Metformin being given during tx and I was wondering if its the same kind of thing? 

Hi Sulaym, welcome to this thread. Dont feel silly...we are all at different stages of tx and some like myself has been blessed at the end of a long tx journey so we are all sorts here....but dare I say a pretty crazy lot! lol

Barbie - Sarah doesnt go to the nursery yet. I am at home but the reason why she isnt going is not just that. Briefly, because she was born at 26 weeks pre-term the doctor had told us to keep her away from other children during the first two years as much as we can because of infection risk as her lungs are v.weak. Even then, when she was 11 months she had a major respiratory infection and ended up in the Paediatric ICU on a ventilator. Alhamdlillah, she survived. It is only this March that she started attending a playgroup twice a week. So maybe next year she would be ready to attend full time. 

Maarias- Good to know you had a good break. 

Iman - hi! IA, your DH will get the results you seek. 

Soni- I cant recommend ARGC highly enough. I thoroughly believe in Mr.T. He is the best in this field no doubt. IA, you will achieve your dreams soon.

Neelam - Hope you are feeling a little better now and lots of   for you. I had implantation bleed as well with my pg so this could well be for you too. IA, you will have good news. 

Snowbelle- I couldnt believe the story when I saw it. Shocking! 

Hi to anyone else I've missed. Both DD and I have got a nasty cold and she's not a happy bunny right now.


hugs
F
xx


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## miss n.k

salaam to everyone

hope you are all enjoying the day   as the weather in the Midlands is beautiful. 
thank you all for your duas sisters        may Allah grant you all with a child (AMEEN).
I'm still feeling very swollen. 

Fiffi i wanted to ask when you had your implantation bleed how long did you bleed for? what symptoms did you have? hope you don't ind me asking you this but just want to know as I'm feeling rotten,  with a swollen stomach and headaches    i already look like I'm 4 months pregnant lol   , but lets see what next week brings us inshall ah.

thank you to all for your duas. 

Hi JADE and welcome to this thread  also welcome to SULAYM hope Allah grants you all with a healthy child AMEEN.

lots of love NEELAM X X X X X X X X X X X X


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## Iman

Salaams girls,

Welcome to Suylaym and Jade! you've found the right place for a chat! lol...Insha'allah we are all granted children soon...

KP - have you tried ginger biscuits for the sickness? have heard they are good. And peppermint tea is good for digestion too.

Neelam its sounding very positive - just keep making du'a and it will bring good news. Miracles do happen!! 

big hello to the rest of the girls!

xx


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## Iman

Salaams barbiedoll

Well this name is better - the other was too long ! but you know, it WAS welcoming!!   you can't deny that! lol..

Car has been moved off that road ( to another road!) but is not fixed....Its gonna be a pain the you-know-where to get the wing mirror replaced as we need originals - its a 1983 Mercedes G Wagon - so chances of finding the wing mirrors are slim! On a similar note and even more annoying is that about 2 weeks later the passenger window of our Golf ( our actual run around car) was smashed - just kids, vandals, nothing taken....so that has now been moved off that road too! speaking to neighbours its has happened to them too. Thing is, we dont live in a rough area, its residential families and "professionals" ( lol!) and eldery people and its not cheap to live here either! But its near some estates were theres a lot of kids and teenagers...grrr....did I mention I love children BTW?? lol!!! 

Anyway better go, just had dinner, got lots to do this evening

take care xxx


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## jadeline

I am originally from Florida but I am now living in Port Said, Egypt with my beloved Mohamed, He send his regards to you and your families and he has been very helpful on this cycle (was giving me some headache on the previous one) and that inshallah will help us get that BFP. I am 29 he is 28 and we are dying to have a child already. We have been married for a little over 2 years now, and yes i can speak the language just you would laugh too much if you hear me speaking it      

I would like to know if any of you sisters can teach me more about Islam, I really feel the need of doing it and my hubby is not so religious so I am trying on my own   any help is appreciated


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## DreamTeam

Salams barbiedoll,
I saw your post this morning and I have to say that I feel quite hurt by it. I know and understand that your intentions were good and despite the fact that I've walked away from my computer done a few things I still feel hurt.

I think its unfair to post, such a big post about the benefits of pregnancy when some of us have a very uphill struggle or even endless obstacles before we reach there. Perhaps something about those who go through struggle would be more motivating. I totally understand that who gets children is Allah(swt)'s will and, who don't get children is also Allah's (swt) will. I also understand that children are a blessing from Allah(swt), but sometimes it gets hard listening to how everyone else is blessed and by default I'm not. I realise that I might not be blessed with children, and that it might never be Allah(swt)'s will but it hurts reading about the benefits that I might never be worthy.

Inshallah, please don't be hurt by what I've said because that was not my intention. I just feel very saddened by what you've pointed out, and here of all places...a refuge from the world's daily questioning, "don't you want to have children?"

love
Snowbelle


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## FazWorld

Asa ladies, 

I had a few days off with my kids (aaah loverly).. back to work for one day to end the week quite nicely... 

Well, after my wild w/e   two weeks ago, then the 2ww, (ended Monday) I really thought ..this is it.. it has happened... all the symptoms, huge PAINFUL (and more saggy than normal) udders, no sign of AP whatsoever (normally get a buildup sign that it about to appear), no cramps, even feelings of nausea, bloating of the tummy, tiredness..! so much so that I told DH it might have happened AND then on Wednesday morning, I couldn't take the strain any more, two days late by now, so even did a home PG test.. only to get a BFN and then later that same day huge cramps and onset of AF... feel a real loony toon!  I still believe it can happen naturally or otherwise IA.

Sorry to post such a downer, but you know how it is... even after all these years of trying and failing.. still can't flush the truth from the wishful thinking... maybe I should just  

Saw my GP yesterday, to ask if he would help me with some of the drugs if I did it one last time. Bless him, he is such a sweet guy. His first son was born one month after my kids, and since MA he has had another two boys!!! He helps with the naferelin (nasal sprays), and the cyclogest on prescription, but said he can't help with the Gonal F, as too expensive, but every little helps.

On to nicer things, 
Good to hear about your wonderful heartbeat KP - AH.
ASA to all the newcomers.
Welcome back Soni, Snowbelle, Maarias and others that have been away.

Faz


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## DreamTeam

Salams barbiedoll,
I don't have a problem with the fact some ladies have bumps and bambinos . I think it is really nice that we hear that you had your baby after such struggles and alhumdulilah when I hear that Fifi and her husband were trying for 17 years it does instill confidence in dua . I don't want you to go off and create your own little world and not be here. I want the success stories to be here. I am delighted for kitten. But something like that should have either been sent as a pm for bumpy ladies. Alhumdulilah I am very happy for those who are blessed with bumps, just sometimes I don't want it to pointed out that I'm not blessed thats all .

Inshallah it has been sorted  , thank you for deleting it.


Inshallah I'll put a proper post up later on today

love

Snowbelle


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## Fiffi

Neelam, I just had light spotting like the beginning of AF so I honestly thought it was AF but then after 2-3 days it went away. I also had mild cramps.

Sulaym - I did use a clearblue Fertility Kit, only it wasnt £99 so I don't know which one you are talking about  . On the question of whether it is worth investing in or not,
I think it all depends on your circumstances. I would ask your doctor/GP because he would be best to advice you on that. Different people use different methods of finding out their most fertile dates, but for me, the Clearblue is the easy option lol. 

Iman - enjoyed your post a lot. lol. Sounds like you were having a great time   esp with the teenage kids! 

Jade - I think Barbie is right about the information about Islam being overwhelming some times. It does to me and I was born a Muslim. lol. Especially in this day and age, with the internet, there are so many conflicting views and information. Ooooh! I hope I havent scared you. lol

Hi to everyone else, Barbie, Snowbelle, Faz, anyone I have missed. Am off the to the GP coz both DD and myself have got the 'flu! And this time of the year too! There must be something wrong with us! lol! 

hugs
F
xx


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## Dibley

Hi barbiedoll,

Thanks for deleting the post...I will set up a Muslim ladies Bumps & babies thread - so those things that are inappropriate for here, can be posted there -  

Dibley x


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## FazWorld

I think the problem with starting a new thread is that people will become divided into the 'Haves' and 'have nots'.. Whilst I understand and totally sympathise what Snowbelle is going through, surely what Barbie had posted was just a reminder of why we were trying so hard to become one of the 'haves'? 

Perhaps Allah SWA in his infinite wisdom is making us go through the hardships we are going through for a reason and remember that even in that there is great trial and even greater reward if we come through it stronger.. this is our own personal jihad, so we should bear whatever He has decreed with Sabr (patience).. and remember that in our situation, that our belief in His knowledge, wisdom and reasons are the only things we have that we can to hold on to - to help us through. It may be that is not in our best interest as believers to have children of our own, or having children easily may be bad for us.. we just don't know and must have faith and strength.

The only thing else is the knowledge that others in our situation become blessed so we can see some hope and possible light at the end of the tunnel by their postings on this site. If they then immediately move to another thread, then we that are still hoping may lose that hope and feel good factor which we sooo badly need at the moment.

Reading about the attributes (now deleted) should make us more determined in our duas to be in that state, but try to not let it interfere with our being good muslims first and foremost and remember that Allah SWA has said "Your wealth and your children are only a trial" (At-Taghabun, Chapter 64, Verse 15)

Please do not be offended by anything I may have said unwittingly here. 
Faz


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## Dibley

Hi ladies,

The reason for having a bumps & babies thread is to diffuse any unwanted tension. This has been proved to be a success on other boards  The thing is, some posts, by their very nature, can be insensitive to those without children - even if the person does not intend that.
And of course, we need to remember that this board is for *Religion & Infertility*
In having two seperate threads does not have to create division - indeed looking at other boards, you will find that those blessed with children/BFP's not only post on a baby & bumps thread but continue to actively post on other TTC boards to offer support, encouragement and of course hope  But what they post on these boards is very different to what they post on a Bumps & babies thread.

I hope this helps and of course I  (God willing) that one day we will all be posting on a Bumps & babies thread! 

Dibley x


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## Maarias

Salaam sisters,
I just wanted to make a quick comment about dividing the threads. We had this happen on the London girls thread and although I think it encouraged a lot of newcomers on board, I think that it's meant that the normal thread for those who are mums already or have bumps is just not very active, as everyone's too busy with kids.
I would also love for this to stay a combined thread for purely selfish reasons,as I alreayd have a bubba but am also going through tx again and it leaves me sort of between two stools  
Snowbelle -    I do understand that you were upset, I didn't actually read the thread from Barbie, but having to got to know Barbie a little bit here, I'm sure she didn't mean it to be hurful.
I don't personally believe that you are less blessed for not having/being able to have kids - you may simply be blessed in different ways, if you know what I mean...
I also don't think any of us should be asking others to be happy for anyone else. Surely that's something that should come from that person. Heck, I have days where quite frankly I just don't feel like feeling happy for anyone - that just makes us human...
Mariax


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## Iman

Salaams girls

Just been reading through the posts from last night and today and the topic of dividing the threads. For me personally, I am in a similar position as Snow  and I can totally sympathise with how she feels. For me , at the moment I can see both sides of the coin on this . I would love the thread to stay all as one - because thats how the original thread that brought us all together was intended. However I have my down days - last night for instance I was really sad, just overwhelming sadness. No reason for last night to be any different to any other day but thats how I felt - cos sometimes it all just hits home.  The slightest thing would have reduced me to tears because in a way I am grieving for lost dreams and dreams that may or may not materialise. This evening I feel better anyway alhamadulillah but Im sure all posters on here ( whether they have been blessed yet or not) can totally relate to that.

Anyway I think that maybe the 2 seperate threads should be done - BUT I would humbly request all posters with bambinos or bumps to carry on posting on both threads as Dibley said, as your support means so much. We are sisters - therefore we are with one another through thick and thin.  I like to hear about the PG symptoms and the little ones - it gives me confidence, it makes me happy! And likewise, I would like to think I am of course welcome insha'allah on the Bumps and babies thread if ever I wanted to join in ( regardless if I got that magic BFP or not)....

Remember we have a strong bond with one another which is why all the posts have been so great so far. I hope I havent said anything to upset anyone insha'allah - just my thoughts, Im not even sure if it makes much sense!!

love and du'a to all

Wasalaams


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## soni

Salaam All,

Hope u all had a very nice weekend!!!

Masha'Allah this thread has been growing nicely,welcome to all the newbies  .

Ok ladies help me as I am feeling very lost!!!!!don't know what to do and how to progress further.As few of u know that I am workng as a bank therapist and now wondering shall I go back to work but more I think about it more teard come into my eyes as I don't fancy doing anything till I have my own baby.Seems my life has got completely stuck on this very subject!!! 

I spoke with DH last night and he said that don't do anything till we know what we are doing next.Well I don't know what i am doing exactly anyways........with whom we will have a treatment and whenI applied for ARGCon 21st May by special delivery and still waiting for them to come back and then getting back to normal after having ERPC done AF wise...my own clinic says start treatment in July while accupuncturist says wait longer as there is apparently no reason why can't u get pregnant naturally and now one more hurdle why can't I stay pregnant

This decision making and waiting for correct time is killing me.I am looking for new jobs at the mo to take the mind off things plus if u haven't work a sa physio for a cerain time u loose ur registration as a physiotherapist and have to start all over again!!!!!It seems everythoing is gainst me at he minute ecpecially TIME!!!!

Sorry for this long rambling but I had to let it out.......maybe councelling is the good idea as I am going completely LOONY sitting on my own and thinking about all these issues.

Thanks for listening all of u and love to all

Me


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## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Soni - I really don't know what to say except  . Sometimes, its really hard to get to the next stage in the decision making process. For me, this weekend has been really hard knowing that the option of pregnancy has to be put off for the next couple of months (operation to remove the lump, and ultra sound guided injection in foot) and all the while I feel as if time is being wasted and I'm getting older etc. Of course this was the ideal moment for a very close friend to announce another pregnancy. Needless to say my weekend was a mixture of tears and extreme desolation  .

For my part, I am reaching the decision (I'm not 100% there yet) that I need to try and focus on other things...which is hard as I'm at home at the moment. I'm painting a lot more, and trying to learn new skills and inshallah aiming to get back to work once this cast is off/ operation done/ injections done.

May be you do need time to allow your body to get strong. You've been through 2 miscarriages in 6 months...thats a very short space of time, and it must have been traumatic to say the least. Perhaps counselling is a good idea or maybe you could write a diary/blog just to help you release your anxieties. Have you spoken to your clinic as to why you can't stay pregnant? I know that GP's refer to a specialist unit for 3 or more miscarriages... I totally understand that its just so frustrating sometimes feeling as if you stuck and not moving forward with the decision that you want to make. It really feels as if you are loosing control -I hate feeling as if decisions are being made for me rather than me making decisions. 

Jade - Wow, muslim ladies has gone international. I'm jealous of the fact you live somewhere sunny! In terms of information about Islam it is overwhelming, my DH (a convert of 10 years) always suggests that new muslims always  seek out evidence as close to the source as possible (quran/hadith), my advice is take everything with a pinch of salt!

Fifi - Sorry to hear that you and your DD are both fluy, inshallah you are both better by now.

Sulaym - I haven't used the £99 fertility kit, but from what I understand when you go the GP their tests tend to be just as extensive and comprehensive and you don't pay.

miss NK - how did the testing go?            

kitten - where are you

iman -   inshallah I don't forget you and your DH in my duas

love to everyone I may have overlooked  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Hi Snowbelle,

Thanks hun.....   .I am trying to go to gym today as this was the thing which gave me some positive energy prior to treatment and also need to loose extra weight building round my tummy.....My BF use to say i wish we can grow vertically not horizontally...we both are short.

Kitten come n ,hope u ok...thinking about u!!!!

Iman.....praying for u hun   

Neelam, any good news?(sound like my inlaws)

Maarias and Barbie,thanks for backing me up for ARGC...still in 2 minds we'll see how our first apptt go if we will get one!!! 

Luv,
Me


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
This'll have to be a quick one for now as dh is desperate to do some job applications - redundancy is looming for him we think... 

Soni - I will do a proper post later I promise but for now just wanted to say re. the ARGC appt. - it' a good idea to phone and chase them, as they are often able to slot you in where they have cancellations. For now also a big    .

BTW, I'd like to keep posting on this thread if that's ok with all of you  

Mx


----------



## miss n.k

salaam to all sisters

just to say I've just come out of hospital i had  really bad stomach pains   and a very swollen tummy so my GP sent me to A&E i am not actually pregnant                 but they said that it is a good sign that my period was only 2 days long as it maybe was a implantation but didn't really connect and that i should be happy as this is the first sign      . and if i carry on the way i am i could possibly get a positive result. they actually told me the  reason for the pains and swollen stomach is because i got something wrong with my GASTRIC so Ive gotta take fybogel to help me. i also had a scan to see just in case i has a cyst as Ive had surgery twice to remove cysts from both ovaries, but mashalah i had no cyst   .
just hoping for the best. is there anything that can help me that you sisters can advise me to eat or diet or change of lifestyle really as they i said i have a Chance of conceiving naturally inshalah .

take care all 

love neelam x x x x x x x

            to all for there duas


----------



## soni

Hi,

Hope u all r well and where u all are hiding?

Maarias,thanks hun for thinking about me.  

Neelam,I am sorry that it was not the news which we all were hping for but atleast the main culprit(ur GI system) has been identified nd treated accordingly.Insha'Allah u will have what u r praying for Ameen...

Snowbelle,can't say much but u made my day today thanks a lot   

Kitten hope u r ok,thinkinh of u hun!!!

Iman still praying for u.Want to see u on TTC journey with all of us very soon Insha'Allah!!!

Jade,Fazworld,Fiffi, Barbie,Sulaym and Angelic come on guys let us be a part of ur life tooooo!!!!   

Love to All,
Me


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sisters!

Its mighty quiet on here nowadays - where is everyone??

Neelam sorry to hear the news, but hope you are on the road to recovery insha'allah   

Soni - nice to see you back masha'allah how you doing?? 

Maarias, of course its ok   nice to hear from you...

For us no news still - lol, there wont be until 16th June! roll on!

love and du'a = come on where's the chat   

Gonna go cook dinner - chicken and chips for us! with lots of veggie though 

xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
How is everyone doing? I've had a fairly busy couple of days. Alhumdulilah, I had the pre-op for the removal of my breast lump inshallah the operation should be soon. I'm praying it is before my aircast comes off so that my foot isn't damaged (again)!

Soni - What can I say? other than the pleasure was all mine! 
Iman - Hows the car situation Inshallah praying lots for your results . Do chase them up etc, its amazing what can happen when you start phoning and  !
Neelam - I was really sad to hear your news, inshallah its a good sign that you can get pregnant  
Maarias - Of course its lovely having you here  

love to everyone

love 
Snowbelle

ps
one of my friends sent me the following which I am going to share with you. Inshallah it aims to inspire patience through the harder days...

In Hardship there is Ease

We know from Islam that everything, good and bad, is from Allah(swt). However, often we need reminded of it more than most as we all deal with the pain of infertility. It can be the most testing of times for any believer, especially with the social pressures and backbiting prevalent in our communities with regards to this issue. Comments range from the inquisitive : "are you not planning on having children at the moment?", to the offensive : "They must be committing haram because Allah(swt) has not blessed them."  Even close friends, not appreciating the situation or even whilst knowing the situation, can be insensitive and this naturally forments periods of feeling down and unhappy. Often the backbiters and slanderers also have an effect, making you think whether Allah(swt) truly does love us whilst we remain infertile.

After some research, I found that the opposite is the case and that there is great reward for those being tested. I have repeated some of the narrations about why we are tested so much below :-

He says: "Be sure we shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives and the fruits (of your toil) but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who, when misfortune strikes them, say: 'Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return. Those are the ones upon whom are blessings and mercy from their Lord and it is those who are rightly guided."

-      Surah Baqarah, Verse 155

"And as for man, whenever his Lord tries him by honoring him and makes him lead an easy life, he says: 'My Lord honors me'. But when He tries him by straitening his means of subsistence, he says: 'My Lord has disgraced me'."

-      Surah Fajr, Verses 15 - 16

The Prophet(saw) said :"No fatigue, illness, anxiety, sorrow, harm or sadness afflicts any Muslim, even to the extent of a thorn pricking him, without Allah wiping out his sins by it."

-      (Bukhari)

The Prophet(saw) said : "When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships."

-      (Bukhari)

Indeed, we as muslims will be tested, it is a promise from Allah(swt) as stated in the Qu'ran. The question is how we manage those tests. Do we feel that Allah(swt) has forsaken us, and that he is not helping the believers? Of course not, Allah(Swt) will try every muslim and none was more tested than the previous prophets.

Isa(as) and Yahya(as) never had children, neither boy nor girl.  There are also the stories of those who had children after many, many years of trying. For example, Ibrahim(as) and his wife were astonished when at the age of 100  and 90 respectively were given glad tidings of a son. This was after they had virtually given up the thought of children, as per the verse :-

"And they (angels) gave him  (Ibrahim) glad tidings of a son endowed with knowledge. But his wife came forward clamoring, she smote her forehead and said: "A barren old woman!" They said "Even so has thy Lord spoken and He is full of wisdom and knowledge."

-      Surah Adh-Dhariyat, Verses 28 -30

Then of course there was Aisha (ra), the wife of the prophet(saw), who did not bear any children. Asya as well, the pharoah's wife who brought up Musa(as) was also childless and longed for a child, when Allah(swt) gave her something better. It is clear that those currently experiencing infertility can see that they are in esteemed company, and on this issue is a trial that affected the prophets(as) as well as the wives(ra) of the final prophet(saw).

Instead, we should see those trials as an opportunity to get closer to Allah(swt), through good deeds and being patient with Allahs(swt) decree. Those that think "why me", should also understand this is part of Allahs(Swt) decree, in the same way that a child in Iraq or Afghanistan may ask "why me" whilst we are in the united kingdom in relative wealth, and in the same way that a severely ill patient may ask "why me" whilst we are in relative day-to-day health. It is Allah(swt) who is the creator and the disposer of affairs, and we should be patient with this. Being tested is an item of honour, it means that we are inshallah being forgiven for sins, and being rewarded for our hardships as well, what can be better than this on the day of judgement?

Remember, always hold fast to the rope of Allah(swt), help the muslims, be patient,  and Allah(swt) will help you to achieve your own goals, whether that is in this world or the hereafter.

"Seek Allah's help with patient perseverance and prayer. It is indeed hard except for those who are humble."

- Surah Baqarah , Verse 45

"Oh you who believe! Persevere in patience and constancy. Vie in such perseverance, strengthen each other, and be pious, that you may prosper."

-      Surah Imran, Verse 200

It is not righteousness that you turn your faces towards East or West. But it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day,  And the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; To spend of your substance, out of love for Him, For your kin, for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves;To be steadfast in prayer And give in charity;To fulfill the contracts which you have made;And to be firm and patient, in pain and adversity; And throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of truth, the God-fearing.

- Surah Baqarah, Verse 177


----------



## miss n.k

assalama alaikum sisters!

hope you all are OK, well Ive finally recovered    feel much better now knowing the cause and my swollen tummy has gone down as well. thank you all for your duas.

SNOWBELLE-           thank you so much for post which your friend sent to you it really intrested me and made me think,hope your OK and in god health hope your recovering.

Iman-        hope your OK your right it is very quiet on here lately everyone has disaperared.

SONI- thanks for your dua sister hope your well and in good health.

salaam also to maria, snowbelle, kitten,jade,fazworld,Barbie,fiffi,sulaym,anglic
hugs for all


----------



## Maarias

Salaam sisters,
Snowbelle - thank you for that lovely post, it really moved me, as I'm really struggling with things at the moment, and don't know where to go from here. I'll explain shortly, but firstly:

Ms NK - I wanted to send you a     inshallah you will soon have the babies you and your dh so long for    

I had my appt. at the Lister this week, and was told that they don't think I have immune issues. This is in complete contrast by what I was told at ARGC. I'm left feeling very confused and don't know where to go now. Part of me has already tried to reconcile itself to the fact that my ds may be my only child (and I feel so blessed and lucky for having him) and part of me wants to try anything - ARGC want me to do IVIG which is a pretty controversial treatment - I don't know whether I'm willing to try it still as it's so untested - I have so much going for me in my life - maybe it's time for me to stop and appreciate that and stop wishing for things I don't actually have. Snowbelle, in your post you mention all those that are worse off than us...so true.

Mx


----------



## soni

Salaam Ladies,

Snowbelle thanks a lot for the post.It was really a mind settler  .

Maarias,I find myself in similar situation as urs.My cons has now referred us to Dr Armstrong in Portland hospital to investigate further into immune things while at the same time I have got the apptt from ARGC for 23rd June.Part of me still believes it might be sheer abd luck that we had to go through mc's twice and want to stay with my clinic to have another go while on the other hand I want to try everything before I an finally give up!!!!I spoke with my clinic again yesterday and they agreed that there is no guarantee that we will have what we want and it is a GAMBLE with or without immune therapy.Haven't decided on anything but will take day at a time and won't rush into things this time  

Sorry for another me me me post!!!!


Neelam good to see u feeling better!!!  

Iman,thinking of u hun!!

Love to all!!


----------



## jadeline

hello ladies! how are you all doing!  getting ready for my second fet.            We are hoping this time we will succeed inshallah. 

Ms NK i have you in my mind and praying we will both get our babies soon. 

It has been a very hard week for me, my maternal grandfather passed away on Wednesday and we are still devastated. I didn't have time enough to get in a plane for 2 days to go to the funeral and I had to say good bye my own way in front of the beach here.

my appointment to see if i am ready to go is this next Tuesday, i will keep you guys posted.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Isn't the weather lovely, Mr Snowbelle is threatening to spend the day indoors for fear of burning...its still England!! Other than that, I might be spending a lot more time here as the annual sport addiction has re-commenced, oh the joys of Euro 2008 - bah humbug!

Jadeline - I'm so sorry to hear your new  , you must be devastated at not being able to go to the funeral, inshallah things get easier for you. Also praying that your new ttx program works.

Soni - How was kobenhaven Did you like it? I always remember that they made some excellent chocolate cake there...mmmm!  

Maarias - I'm pleased you liked the post  . I found it hard to digest when I first read it, but I find that each time I read it more negativity seems to leave me and I become more positive. Sometimes it is so easy to get engrossed in our own lives and problems that you forget what is happening to others at the very same moment in time. For my part, I do wonder at my desire for our child that leaves me unable to think about what is technically 'going good' in my life.

Miss NK - I'm just glad it made you feel better  

Iman - Don't hide away for so long  

KP, Fiffi, Fazworld and anyone I've forgotten, where have you been?

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salaam Ladies,

What a lovely weather we are having!!!!!Don't want to be indoors but stuck in the house as builders are working.

Snowbelle couldn't stop laughing at ''fear of burning''.It's all about sunscreen and sunglasses on our end too .I will be going to Kobenhaven on the weekend of 20th June,can't wait as I am desperate to get away from London for the time being ..... mmmm chocolate cake and icecream calling me!!!!!

Jadeline,I am sorry to hear ur news.May Allah make this hard time easy for u and ur family.Ameen.

Iman, KP, Neelam, Fiffi, Barbiedoll, Maarias, Fazworld missing u all!!!  

We have got appt for ARGC on 23 June and with Mr.Armstrong on 27th June so looke like we are moving forwards atleast on the TTC front.will decide on the next attempt after these two apptts...

love to all


----------



## FazWorld

asa ladies... been on a course Thurs and Fri, so unable to chat.. wasn't the weather loverly yesterday DH took my twin DD's on their first bike ride yesterday.. wouldn't take me along as said he didn't want to attract too much attention.. he was using a church car park to practise in.. and my hijaab would have attracted unwanted attention!!!

N.K, sorry about your news. Snowbelle, that was a great posting - thx for that.

My SIL told us she was 3 months pg last week.. and she only found out the day b4!!   How can that be? I am one day late and I get into a mad panic to reach over for a tester!! . She does have irregular cycles tho... Was happy for her but thought .. if my ICSI had worked, I would be as far gone by now as she by now... 

Jade, sorry to hear about your GF. Out of curiousity, where are you located that you were near a beach?

Have a glorious day everone - apparently it's going to be 27 deg today (in London)!!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam everyone,
Good to hear that everyone is ok and enjoying the sun!

Fazworld - now I did have a laugh at


FazWorld said:


> asa ladies... been on a course Thurs and Fri, so unable to chat.. wasn't the weather loverly yesterday DH took my twin DD's on their first bike ride yesterday.. wouldn't take me along as said he didn't want to attract too much attention..


 I have to admit it creates quite a funny vision!  

soni - glad to hear you having fun with the builders!

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

asa 

snowbelle, glad to be of service.. at least I can still make people laugh!!! 

Here's another funny one.. remember I told you my dippy SIL found out the other day she was 10 weeks PG..? well yesterday she told me that midwife measured her tummy yesterday and she is actually 14 weeks!!! Has to have a rush scan for the nuchal fold test as only a very difinitive window to test that... I mean, there is dippy and there is DIPPY!!!

Anyroad, its that TOTM again (don't time fly?).. so harrassing DH again!!   Honestly when they get it on a plate, they don't 'alf take it for granted! Most blokes would be ecstatic to be harrassed like that! I guess when its 'on demand' its not such fun.. 

Smell y'all later
asa


----------



## soni

Just wondering where r all of u hiding      

Me going    without u all!!!


----------



## Fiffi

Salaams everyone..

sorry I have been AWOL for so long. Had a really nasty 'bout of illness and am still not fully 100%. DH also caught it in the end so it has been a whole household of illness. Couldnt even go out and enjoy the sunshine. 

Hope all of you are keeping well. Must confess havent read all the posts but will be back to read all your news.  Btw, to those of you who know that we were thinking about doing another tx, we have decided that we are not going to tx anymore. I just  cannot go through the roller-coaster ride of an IVF again and DH is happy with my decision. So looks as if DD is going to be our only child...must remember not to spoil her lol

hugs
F
xx


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Just a quick post from me to say that I'm still here and thinking of you all  

Soni - hope your appt. at ARGC and with Mr. A goes well. Would you mind me asking which clinic you've been at up to now - just noticed you've already had some immune testing done   - was it the Lister by any chance? Sorry if it's nosy to ask... 

We (well actually I as dh usually goes along with my decisions on tx!) have made a decision to go to Lister for this cycle - can't take the pace at ARGC and just still feel too emotional about my last tx to go back there yet - feeling relatively positive about my decision - AF has sort of made an appearance today, so in for bloods tomorrow.  

Mx


----------



## FazWorld

asa

Maarias, I use Lister.. cos I know the embryologist there, I feel comfortable there. I always make sure she does my ICSI for me.. 

Lemme know if you want any info about them.

They also have a satellite branch in Old Broad Street (London) for scans, bloods etc. Actual EC and ET are done in Chelsea, but it is useful for us working in the City not to have to traipse all the way across London for a 15 min scan!!

Hope thats useful to anyone.

FazWorld


----------



## soni

Hello hello Hello,

Maarias, u r not the only one taking control of the TTC front!!!!Me too has to be incharge of it and I find it really hard to make a right choice and if anything goes wrong I normally say to DH that I am a human being and hence the mistake   
I am at shirley oaks/bridge centre for all this time and so far they have been realy great and helpful plus it is only 10 mins drive from home.I took the basic immune tests included karyotype clotting and ACL and all hve been normal.I am scared of doing further detailed tests as I have got psoriasis which is auto immune disorder and thinks that it might be a factor in causing miscarriages but think I have to take a plunge   
Can I ask you why u have chosen Lister as I am still in two minds about going to ARGC.

Fazworld do u mind if I ask the same question from u as I am finding it hard to decide where shall I go for the next attempt!!

Fiffi, missed u sweety, glad for u as u have made the decision which is half of the battle won.I pray for u and Sarah and pray for ur happiness   

Snowbelle,where r u today?Not long now when u will be crutch free  

Iman, thinking of u and praying for 16th   

jadeline, sulaym how r u all

Love, Me


----------



## Iman

Salaams girls how are you all?

Ive got the afternoon off work to wait for a delivery - which has now arrived alhamdulillah so I have put my feet up!

Dibley if you are reading this please can I request a change of the title of this thread?? I know there is one, or possibly more, male muslim posters on this board - please can we change it to Muslim Posters Part 2?? then if we end up with groups of male and female posters then insha'allah we can have a male section and ladies section? is that ok?? hope I am not being too cheeky??!

No other news from us - hope everyone is well. Soni, my husband has Psoriasis too - I often wonder if his Psoriasis and fertility problem is linked as his Psoriasis is quite bad - head to toe with exception of face and hands and feet alhamdulillah and he has had it about 10 years.  The doctors said no, but given that they dont know what causes the Psoriasis I dont see who they can be certain. Its a horrible thing to suffer with, I am very sympathetic to you, its not fun. What medication/cream do you use? his is Dovobet but it doesnt do that much really - very strong though and I wonder on those affects too.  Just make du'a for him and you that it goes. I think it is related to diet?? 


Take care all! may pop back later insha'allah.

May Allah swt grant us all sabr sabr and more sabr to bear his tests and pass them only to please Him so that we can know his blessings, Ameen.

Wasalaams


----------



## FazWorld

asa soni

I was not even willing to accept I might have a problem, but as I said, I know the embryologist personally! AH! I went to her for advice, and she arranged an initial consultation to get things rolling for me, just in case there was a problem, whilst I was still ttx naturally. When nothing happened, I decided to go for it. Likewise to you and I suspect many others, I have to do everything, DH just comes along as, where and when I tell him.

Once there, I just stayed with them, cos they were so lovely to me and so professional.

Last time when it worked, and I had the twins, we used Assisted Hatching and normal ET. This time we used Blastocyst transfer and no Assisted Hatching. Obviously, then, when it didn't work, DH said he couldn't understand why I didn't stick with something that worked. As we have moved on in technology since.. I wanted to ensure the best were transferred.. maybe a mistake, but will now do a repeat of the previous winning formula next time again IA.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone,
Wow, so much has been going on here, unfortunately I will begin on a "Snowbelle Show" moment and begin to rant!

I've just got off the phone from the hospital (re removal of my lump in my breast) and I am just fed up to the point of fed-up-ness. Up till now I've been told by everyone in the hospital that the removal of lumps has a time frame of weeks rather than months (make sense of that as you will). I took it to mean maybe 4 or 5 weeks Anyway, this ******************* operation booker has just told me that I'm likely to get an operation in september  !!!!! Horror of horrors because she went on holiday for a week and told her deputy not to book anyone?? How can the lead times change so drastically And THEN, to top it off, she said the lead time is 18 weeks from when the GP sent me to the hospital which was 18 weeks ago last monday! I really feel as if I am banging my head on a brick wall.   The time frame that she is talking about is really hard because it essentially means that 4 out of the 5 months I had been given to ttc naturally is definitely being taken up and it could be longer... The really annoying this is that fibroid removal is a bit like weeding a garden, they can just grow back.  To top it off I feel hay-fevery (just the nose and fever bit) and my asthma has gone haywire! I feel really frustrated that although there is nothing technically wrong with us right now, we are being held up bizarre obstacles.   

Psoriasis - has a lot to do with diet and treating it from the outside in rather than the inside out. I know from experience (research for someone and witnessing the changes) that EPA capsules( 6 per day for a month) makes an amazing difference. Do try it.   

Sorry no personals today just the Snowbelle Show

love
Snowbelle


----------



## Dibley

Iman said:


> Dibley if you are reading this please can I request a change of the title of this thread?? I know there is one, or possibly more, male muslim posters on this board - please can we change it to Muslim Posters Part 2?? then if we end up with groups of male and female posters then insha'allah we can have a male section and ladies section? is that ok?? hope I am not being too cheeky??!


All done! 

And you're not being cheeky - that's what I'm here for 

Love Dibs x


----------



## Maarias

Snowebelle - feeling so frustrated for you   - as for the hospital -     is all I can say - feel free to come here and rant whenever you like  

Fifi - well done for making a decision on the tx front - that really is half the battle with all of this - it must feel like a weight being lifted   - I feel a bit like that about moving clinics - just relief that I've made a decision and relief that I don't have to go back to ARGC again - which is right on the other side of London for me.

soni - I think my views on ARGC are very much tainted by my bfns, but I really don't represent the vast majority who seem very happy there. I just seem to be one of those for whom it didn't work there. It might be worth posting on the ARGC board and the Lister board to get a perspective from both sides. And why not arrange a consultation at the Lister as well, so you can make a really informed decision. One thing I will say about tx at ARGC is that it is INTENSE. I will pm you with my other thoughts on the Lister and ARGC.

Mx


----------



## jadeline

FazWorld said:


> Jade, sorry to hear about your GF. Out of curiousity, where are you located that you were near a beach?


I am currently in Port Said, Egypt


----------



## jadeline

SISTERS!!! salam aleicum we rahmatulah we barakatu. I started preparation and I will have my FET tomorrow, Please please pray for meeeee               I am on progesterone inyections daily, folic acid, hostacortin, and duphaston twice daily. 

I need your support, I see so many of you going thru some much that I wanted to say that I am very grateful for you all and I wish all of you get Allah's blessings in all aspects of your lifes.

KISSES!!! 

Jade


----------



## FazWorld

FazWorld said:


> Here's another funny one.. remember I told you my dippy SIL found out the other day she was 10 weeks PG..? well yesterday she told me that midwife measured her tummy yesterday and she is actually 14 weeks!!! Has to have a rush scan for the nuchal fold test as only a very difinitive window to test that... I mean, there is dippy and there is DIPPY!!!


ASA all,

bad news today - my SIL went to have her scan yesterday and the baby had no heartbeat (only last week she saw it's strong heartbeat) ..makes me feel really bad for calling her dippy now...  she either has to wait for natural M/c or have a DnC done.

Kindly pray for her loss.. she m/c'ed a 5 month baby, then AH had her daughter and now at 4 months...

Fazworld


----------



## Fiffi

Jade sending you all my good wishes. All my prayers are with you for a successful cycle.     

Fazworld, very sorry to hear about your SIL. Will pray for her  

Maarias & Soni - I am one of those who swears by Mr.T although my 3 cycles there were unsuccessful. lol. I think it's an individual thing though..Lister is an excellent clinic from what I hear. Sending my best wishes all the way.

Iman, good idea about changing the title of the thread. Just wondering if any brothers would dare venture in here with all of us girls dominating the thread  

Snowbelle- can really understand your frustrations...dont worry about ranting..we are hear to listen  

Neelam, Kitten, Barbie, everyone else I've missed..hope you are keeping well. 

Nothing much by way of news from me...Since we've decided that we are not going to tx anymore, I am thinking...hmmm, what shall I spend the money we saved for tx on...Jimmy Choo? Prada? Christian Louboutin? DH is surely thinking "let's save it"!!!    

hugs
F
xx


----------



## miss n.k

salaam ladies

just a quick post to say I'm still here and thinking of you all  

Ive missed you all so much haven't Been on here for a while now hope you all are doing well and in good health, I'm still trying to convince my DH to another cycle but hes just only started working again after 3 months sos we are tight on money as well but inshallah not Long but in the mean time I'm trying naturally, I'm taking my folic acids and doing everything i can.
the weather is beautiful up in the midlands I'm thinking of going on holiday to Egypt in august with my sister.

JADE: I'm praying for you sister inshallah Allah will bless you with a child (AMEEN)   .

FAZWORLD: Very sorry to hear about your sil Will do dua for her.hope your doing well.

IMAN: Salaam sister hope you doing well.

SNOWBELLE: hope you are keeping well.

and salaam to everyone else Ive missed out on take care all.

love neelam x x x


----------



## jadeline

Miss NK, I live in EGYPT!!!would love to meet you here if you come with your family, I am in the Port Said Area but would definitely meet you any city you go to. I am a free tourist guide LOL. 

On the other hand something really awful happend today and I cannot stop worrying.

When the embrio transfer was done and DH and I took a cab to go to the hotel We are staying in tonight, the careless driver had no brakes and we crushed against 2 cars 15 minutes after my transfer. 

This is Egypt were seatbealts are only required for the driver so there were no seatbelts for my husband or I ( been an american you get use to use it at all times so I still find it weird to don't be able to wear it here). Anyhow, to avoid me going flying thru the window when the collision happend, (the driver hit a van on the left and it was going straight againts a parked card) I had to push my legs forward to keep my body on the back of the sit and avoid the movement forward that was followed by the hit. 

I pushed so hard I am not sure if my embrios are fine, inside me, or if I pushed them out when that happend. It could have been worst I know and I am trying to stay positive. All I can say to myself right now is, if Allah really want me to be pregnant, He will make it happend no matter what. AMEEN. 

Sorry sisters I am still a little shaky, this accident happend just 7 hours ago, I napped a bit but for the sake of making this work, I know i need to calm down.

Thanks for listening.

Jade


----------



## Maarias

Jade,
You poor thing     - what a shock for you. IA your embies are fine        .

No news from me, other than my SIL announced she is pregnant yesterday after my MIL's birthday lunch  . I know I shouldn't be angry, but I was so upset that I practically cried all the way home yesterday  . She's 42 and she's only just got married recently, so I know I should be pleased for her, she's very worred about downs etc, and she's had a m/c before this,so I know dh is very pleased for her, but I couldn't even look at the scan picture she had, I felt so physically sick trying to hold back the tears and not create a scene while I was at my MIL's house.  I felt so embarassed/ashamed for crying afterwards, but it just made me realise again how much I, and we all, have had to put ourselves through just to get something that others so take for granted. I have been given so much and I don't like to complain, but yesterday I cried some big fat tears...it couldn't have come at a worse time, as I'm feeling apprehensive about our next tx anyway. I'm back in for bloods on Monday as my AF didn't show up properly until Friday, so it's in for day 2-4 tests tomorrow.

Mariax


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alayakum everyone,

Jade - How awful!!!  That just sounds so scary (thats before you even think about egg transfer), alhumdulilah you and your DH were really lucky to come out without a scratch. Inshallah Allah(swt) will protect your embies just as he protected you and your husband. Inshallah just get lots of rest and really take things easy...I think you've had enough excitement    Inshallah it works this time, we need some more pregancies on the board         

Maarias -   Inshallah just try and focus on the good things in your life.       It is so much easier said than. I've been feeling a bit bad, as a really close friend of mine is pregnant and I know I'm not making the effort to go to see her etc. Inshallah I'm going to try harder!

Miss NK -envious of anyone who mentions the world holiday!!! I can't wait till my foot is totally normal and I can just go anywhere!

Fifi  - Inshallah any decision that you come to, and you feel happy about is inshallah the right decision...so what are you going to spend all the extra money on?

Fazworld - btw we need to hear more of your antics! I'm sorry to hear about your SIL   inshallah she will have her children just as will have ours inshallah 

Soni, Iman, and everyone else  

love to everyone 

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

Asa...

hear more of my antics!!! cheeky!!!  they are at a guess no diff to any one else's... 

'During the day' antics require much use of CITV. Kids do wonder also why our bedroom door closes suddenly. Thats the only time it is ever shut. Once, my DD came upstairs - right at the wrong moment!!! She got very worried and said 'mummy mummy wots wrong? '  Very distressing!  

You may wonder - why bother? Well - you never know it COULD happen (b'iz nillah - if Allah wills it).. after all it only takes one!..   and anyways, number 2, its great fun trying.. 

My SIL having her DNC tomorrow. I pray that IA Allah SWA gives her the baby she desires (and to us all).

On other note, anyone watch the Footie last nite.. TURKEY.. TUUURRRKEEEYYYY!!!! (not that I am Turkish - I am a Pak!) but our Muslim brothers did us proud yesterday MA. 3-2 against Czech.. acclaimed as being one of the greatest combacks EVER, they were losing 2-0 at one time!!! YAY!!!


----------



## soni

Salaam All of you,

My life has been made miserable by the builders,they are everywhere and have managed to extend the work in kitchen so will be with us for next 5 weeks   

Faz, really sorry to hear about ur SIL.May Allah gie her Sabr to endure this pain and make this journey easy for her.Ameen.Ur last message made me smile but I agree u have to do whatever it takes to make it happen and it only takes one!!!!!!!!but where is that only ONE gone in our case??

Snow, hope ur op situation will be sorted soon and then u can apply the tactics FAz is suggesting   

Jade,I hope u r ok today.It is awfut that it happened when ur were most vulnerable but Pray to Allah and HE will do a miracle for u!!!!!

Neelam,Hope ur ok   

Fiffi, hvae u decided where u r going to spend the money u have savedHope Sarah is ok too 

IMAN,Good luck today.I am thinking of u and Praying for a happy news!!!!Insha'Allah u will be allowed to embark on TTC journey soon Insha'Allah!!!!!!much love to u     

Soni


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  ,

How is everyone doing today Yes I did enjoy the football, particularly as we have a "no money" betting thing going on in our house, Mr Snowbelle being a white-y decided to go with the Czechs and they lost,   needless to say I won!

Fazworld - No comment!    

Soni - I thought you were just getting your bathroom done? Sounds like you are being very brave getting both done at the same time! 

Iman - praying and thinking about you today, inshallah, inshallah your DH get some good news

I've just been to see my GP about my annoying breast lump operation, anyway he decided to have a little winge that even GPs have to go on the waiting list now!!   Anyway armed with some more phone numbers, I've made a few more phone calls so hopefully things are moving in the right direction.

love to everyone

love
Snowbelle


----------



## jadeline

Soni thank you for your best wishes.

Snowbelle i wish you good luck with your surgery. 

I am feeling a bit better today and feel bloated, is that normal in FET only ? I know i as when i had the IVF and they removed the eggs but FET only? 

Please let me know.

Jade


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

Unfortunatyl it was not good news for us today. Despite taking the taxmoxifen for 3 months, his SA still showed zero count.

To say we are heartbroken is an understatement - our dreams have finally been crushed completly. We tried not to get our hopes up but its impossible not to, at least a bit. Sorry to be all doom and gloom.

We will be moving on now and looking into adoption insha'allah. Now we will have new hoops to jump through! I will still post on here to keep you updated and you will be able to find me in the Adoption section now insha'allah. All we ask is for your precious du'a that the adoption process is not too long and painful for us and we can find our baby - who is out there somewhere looking for us too insha'allah. Allah swt knows best.

Lots of love and du'a to all on your journeys - please do keep in touch and let me know of any happy news of BFPs etc, I would love to hear of it from you my sisters in particular.

xxxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

Iman -      , I'm so sorry for you, you guys must be devastated...inshallah you and your DH will get through the next few months stronger. 

love
Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Iman - I'm so very sorry - this must be so devastating   .
Please keep up updated of your progress on the adoption front - I would love to hear about it.
Mx


----------



## soni

Iman,

I don't know what to say!!!!It is hard time for u both  .Please look after each other and we will all be praying for ur easy journey into adoption.I still believe and pray that one day we all will be mummies Insha'Allah!!!Please keep us posted about urself.....want to share that journey with u too

Jade,it is normal to feel bloated after FET especially if u r on progesterone support.It will settle down though.eep drinking lots of water,milk and loads of protein.Sending u lots of sticky vibes and praying for u as well.  .

Maarias, 

Soni


----------



## jadeline

Soni thanks for the information I am about to drink a river LOL

Iman:
Don't feel bad for your situation, Allah knows best and you will be a wonderful mother to a child that needs your love and care and couldn't find that in his natural mother. I trust and Pray your process goes smoothly and quick for you to have your baby and post in how good your life is with him or her. You and Your husband are very lucky for having each other, remember Allah makes no mistakes and he will reward you for your loyalty and for following his words day after day. Be strong, you will get the gift of changing the life of a kid that otherwise wouldn't have an opportunity of having a happy life. That is your reward, and by taking such responsability and saving that little angel you are getting closer to Allah, that is how I look at it. 

Kisses and hugs for you sisters. I am having a nervous breakdown, OH my boss my boss!!! I hope i can be more relax tomorrow.

Jade


----------



## Fiffi

aww Iman...words fail me sister.. I am so sorry to hear your news. IA, you will achieve your dreams of being
a mom for a very deserving child. I will pray for that.     

mega-hugs
F
xxx


----------



## miss n.k

asal sisters

hope you are doing well I'm still trying to find the cheapest deal to EGYPT or FLORIDA the weather in the midlands is beautiful.

Jade- So sorry to hear bout your accident hope your well and i pray that Allah blesses you with a beautiful child (Ameen).

Iman- I'm so sorry inshalah your adoption will go smoother and it wont be long till Allah blesses you with the beautiful child through adoption just be strong.

Snowbelle- hope you are okay.

Soni- hope you are okay builders doing your head in lol hows the kitchen going?

Fiffi- salaam sister hope your okay.

salaam to everyone else Ive missed out hope your all doing well take care and have a nice day.

love miss n.k


----------



## jadeline

Miss N K The best deal to egypt is with Egypt Air, you can try going thru their website and checking the last specials they have in there 


Jade


----------



## Iman

Salaams sisters

Thank you so much for your messages jazak'allah khairun.

We are feeling a bit better today. Ive cried so much since Monday - in front of DH which is ok, in front of BIL and I made my MIL cry too  I dont think she realised the seriousness til now - I think she was in a bit of denial. 

We are going to sit down this week and discuss what we want to do. We are toying with the idea of another TESE to be sure, but I dont know if its worth it. We have a closing appointment with our Urologist in a month or so so we'' explore it further then....in the meantime I am gathering info on adoption. As a mixed race couple we will either be in demand or not at all successful - depends alot on the area we go to, or the agency....I looked at tower hamlets adoptiin site and they have pics of children waiting adoption, including 2 Muslim children - which just about killed me....really should have dont that a bit later in the week. 

DH has been fantastic, a real strength and we are closer than ever. I feel bad crying in front of him because I dont want to make him feel guilty - but I think he has realised that this is written by Allah swt for us both, not just him. When we first found out he kept telling me to divorce him and marry someone else   ....

I feel inadvertently blessed and denied, if that makes sense. My iman tells me blessing - because this is a test and as Jadeline ( or was it Faz? sorry cant remember) pointed out, we get the chance insha'allah to give a home to a child who needs it. So many muslim children in care end up in non muslim households...maybe we can help to raise a child in the way it was meant to be raised insha'allah. My emotions take over and tell me I am 'denied' sometimes - denied the chance to carry a baby and know what thats like, to go through birth ( yes I know it hurts a lot but I still would give anything for it! lol) and never know what half me, half DH would be like.....

Im dreading telling friends and family who dont yet know...I might tell MIL to tell them herself at her discretion and likewise, my own mother...I cant face explaining to them all. We have decided that we will not reveal who has the 'problem' because people will specualte why that is - for my DH they will not believe it cos his family is so fertile, or they will blame his Psoriasis or bad diet or sins or something ( like no-one else has sins!) and me....well....Im not Pakistani so some of them will say that ( grr...) or because I am a convert - they may blame my 'previous' life  - which they know nothing about!! Maybe I should give them more credit...probably...  I just know a couple of those remarks have already surfaced.....

We are gonna take a short holiday at the end of July and think about doing Hajj maybe before adoption?? or after?? all things to decide I don't know...alot depends on cost.

ANYWAY - sorry, going off on one there...I will keep in touch....but if I drop off the radar dont be surprised. You can all catch me on ******** - PM me if you want to add me as a friend. Otherwise in due course insha'allah you will see me on the adoption section I hope.

Lots of love and du'a

xxxx


----------



## Maarias

Iman,
IA everything will work out for you - you're going through such a lot at the moment, such a lot for you both to digest - please try and concentrate on your own feelings, and everybody else and what they think, including relatives, can wait for another time...(tbh, who really cares for they are thinking anyway!) IA you will find the strength to cope with everything, you really sound like sucha  strong person.    
Mx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA,

Iman, I am sorry to hear your news.  IA may Allah SWA give you sabr (patience) and hear your du'as to give you what you want.  

I spoke to my SIL yesterday after her DNC. AH she much better after the ordeal than before. Allah SWA says do not look at people more fortunate than you, rather look at those less fortunate. Subhan'allah! SIL was obviously distressed until she spoke to the lady next door who was having a similar procedure for her 8th m/c.. she saw then that her suffering was not as bad as her neighbours.

All I say is IA keep the faith.

FazWorld


----------



## jadeline

Good Morning Ladies!!!

I don't know what is going on with me today but well I am in my 2ww and I feel that I can eat a whole cow with skin hair and everything!!! LOL I have never been so hungry in my entire life. Maybe the hormones are making me hungrier than usual ?

Jade


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Iman -     inshallah you and your DH will get through this together and stronger. It may not be any source of comfort now but my mother reminded me of her cousin recently who remained childless through out his marriage while all his siblings and cousins have children and have now moved on to grandchildren, alhumdulilah at the age of 50 him and his wife were blessed with a healthy baby girl.    I pray that you guys remain strong. Don't worry about anyone else at the moment, the most important thing is you and your DH. 

Jade- just take things easy and inshallah things will go well

Its been a very strange week for me, I started out the week feeling as if I was avoiding a very close friend of mine because she was pregnant, and now shes told me she miscarried    I feel really sad for her. As much as I was avoiding her, no way on earth did I want this to happen either. Alhumdulilah she seems quite ok with it.  

On a happier note, I am cast free!! Yay! Its all very exciting!        I also seemed to have turned a corner with the my breast operation, as they are now saying that they are going to try and get me in for July. 

lots of love to everyone    

love
Snowbelle


----------



## jadeline

Sisters:

I am more frustrated than ever, you guys remember that I had a car accident just 10 minutes after embryo transfer. Now to add to the list of things that are not going right for me I have been suspended from work because I had 2 weekends off this month and even when I explained that it was for the invitro process my LOVELY boss is been a bit difficult and demanding that my salary gets reduced!!! I have worked the same amount of hours the only difference is that I had 2 weekends off in a row.   I wish i could find her in the middle of a dark alley at this moment!!!! 

My sister in law got married 2 months ago and she is already preggo so imagine how i am feeling right now. This is has been a really bad week for me.

Jade


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

I've just got off the phone from the hospital, and I have a date for my breast surgery for 12 August which is good. I'm not jumping for joy, as they rang up earlier and gave me a date a month earlier but I couldn't take it as I had an outpatients appointment the next day with my foot and bone specialist (the next available date with him is in October, so I can't cancel him). I also didn't react well to the anesthetic after having my fibroid removed which meant I had to stay longer in hospital. But the main thing is that when we go to see our fertility specialist I at least have a date. I'm going to try and not be annoyed about this, the main thing is that the horrid lump is going to be extracted and exterminated!

Jade - Just try and find something to help you relax, the 2ww is hell fortnight at the best times, just try and stay positive...what do you do that you have work weekends

love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

Sorry for not being in touch........had a busy week as well with builders and appointments.

Went for ARGC apptt and they asked for immune tests which I did yesterday.They think I have high NK cells due to my psoriasis and acc to them I have endometriosis as well......Hmmmmmm and think I would benefit from Ivig.Now I am praying everything comes back normal so I can stay with my own clinic!!!!!!My clinic wants me to go with Mr Armstrong who does LIT therapy different to ivig but nothing of all this is making any sense to me at present.   feel completely lost and extremely tired of this whole situation!!!

Snow,hope u r ok hun,when is ur fertility apptt and who r u underhoping and praying for ur plain sail thru all these hurdles   and walking is getting better too!!!!!!

jADELINE, NOT LONG BEFORE TESTING.....hope it is good news for u    

Iman and KP still thinking of u guys,come and visit us sometime   

Fazworld, hope ur SIL is getting better....how r u and whats the latest on ur end?  

Neelam, what r u doing these daysthinkin of u 2!!! 

It's nice weather these days,any holidays plan for anyone?

Maarias and Barbiedoll, where r u hiding?   

Love to all,
Me


----------



## Maarias

Salaams ladies,
I am around just not working for a few weeks, so making the most of the weather, and not getting to the computer much!  

No news on tx front from me - am still on the pill - go in for a scan next Tues. to find out when I can start the buserilin...IA not long to go for me    
Mx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA

Maarias, r u on the long protocol now and are u at Lister? If so who u with?

Soni, how where ya bin? AH I am good. My 'antics' didn't work last month.. forget the 2ww, AP came 5 days early!!!!   Back to square 1. Asked DH when he wants to do tx for last time, before or after Ramadhan. Personally I would prefer b4, cos that way, if BFP, then don't have to miss any fasts!!  but if a BFN, well would have to miss the fasts anyway...  He convinced it won't work so don't want to do it at all now!

Any way, good times for DH coming next week... 

My SIL (DH's bro's wife) has bounced back AH. Has accepted that it is all by decree.
My SIL (bro's wife) had a baby girl on Tuesday.

Snowbelle, good luck with your apptmt. Jadeline good luck with yr testing.

Salaams to everyone else.
Fazworld


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Faz - yes am the Lister now under Dr. Thum due to my supposed immune issues...he seems nice.

Sorry to hear about AF showing up ... was interested to read that you would still fast if you got a bfp...I didn't realise that pregnant ladies were obliged to...couldn't you just make up for it afterwards   

Am feeling a bit confused...have just read on another thread that heparin is a pig-derived product...not done any research on this yet - but I took this on my last two cycles at ARGC so feeling a bit unhappy...any thoughts ladies...don't feel happy now that I know that... 

Mx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA,
I would try fast if possible, cos

1) baby is self-sufficient for initial period, and in any case - its a parasite (in the nicest possible way) and would take whatever it needed at the mother's expense!!  - remember when my sis was PG, she was terribly sick throughout and lost a lot of weight cos couldn't eat anything - lost a lot of weight etc.. but AH baby was fine and healthy!
2) I believe the ruling is that a PG woman can delay fasting if she fears for her or her unborn baby's health, but needs to make up the fast later (which I hate doing for the AP days - let alone for the entire month -hence PG is good way of not having to do so!!!)

Quote***
"and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number [of days which one did not observe Sawm (fasts) must be made up] from other days" [al-Baqarah 2:185] 
Unquote***

As for not knowing at the time that you took the drug of what it contained, whatever you did in ignorance is not your fault and IA you will not be held accountable for it. But it is said that one must try and find out to avoid such issues. However, now you know, not sure what the case is for if it is used for medicinal purposes if nothing else available on the market.

IA I will try and find out a little more.

Hope that helps.
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Not much to report, other than I am learning to walk and it is very hard work! I have an ultra sound injection next week followed by my first session of physio since I got out of the aircast so inshallah it should all help.

Pregnancy - I was always under the impression that when a woman is pregnant it is not recommended for her to fast, and so is considered to have a 'permit'/valid excuse after the child has been finished nursing then the woman can make up fasts.

Pig meds - Over the years various scholars (eg Regents Park Mosque) have offered fatwas allowing people who are ill to benefit from using pig's organs, when no other organ is available. I think you need to investigate with someone who has more knowledge. Effectively it is for a medical benefit. Allah knows best.

Love to everyone

love
Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

What a week I had!!!!two apptts to decide about future treatment and had a huge row with DH too.not good but I broke yesterday for the first time after my m/c.DH had to take a day off at the end but everything is ok now  .Feel I really needed that outburst  .

Well started off with ARGC on Monday where they suggested immune tests straight on so had it done on Tuesday.Must say that I didn't enjoy the journey and found it as a  extra stress to the whole process.2 days travelling to London and 19 vials of blood caught on me and really had stars in front of my eyes for whole wednesday and felt sooooo very grotty that now suffering from bad flu with blocked sinuses and extra dust in the house is not helping either.

Well today we had another opinion with mr.Armstrong and he doesn't think that we need very intensive therapy straight on and has just added steroids and low dose aspirin to the whole prescription.I must say that I am feeling very relaxed after this as don't want to embark on IVIG as yet.but deep down if something goes wrong this time e I will try not to blame myself.Really need to concentrate on being positive!!!!  .DH still want to see immune result fromARGC before taking any final decisions though.Praying intensly that all come back normal although ARGC is pretty sure it will not be but I am keeping faith in Allah!!!

Sorry for this long me post!!!Jadeline waiting for ur results?Hope everything is ok  

Maarias,goodluck for ur next treatment and now I totally understand what u said about ARGC  

Snow, hope ur walking is improving ....i did bit of exercise for u today as well   

Fazworld.....well IA ur tactics will pay off this month.Just to let u know I will try some this month too.....u never know what happens   .

Iman ....missing u sis!!!  

KP, come and visit us soon  

Love,Soni


----------



## jadeline

Salam aleicum sisters:

How can I start with the news of today!!! Well, after trying to convince my boss that I had to take those 2 weekends off for my tretment she straight up told me that I was abusing my fellow managers and overworking them by taking those two days. I was working as a texting manager for customer service with base in USA. This lady was so obnoxious that I had to quit, the last thing I needed after all that happend to me was to have her scream at me over the phone for about 30 minutes!!! No matter what I said she was not comfortable with it. Anyways I finally told her that I thought she was a bit smarter than she is and that her human side have dried up apparently when She couldn't understand that I had worked the same amount of hours and I only had 2 weekends off in a row due to treatment. 

So after that I said I QUIT! DO NOT BOTHER ME ANYMORE. 

Now I found another job so all is good on that part. Today i am supposed to go to testing but to be honest I feel AF pain, so I will just wait til the PM and see if my AF comes, if not then i will do the testing tomorrow. 

Snowbelle, it is great you are feeling better, I am glad you do.

Faz thank you for your words. they really mean a lot to me

maarias, I hope you feel better hon.

soni I was missing your post, don't get lost like that without permission (JOKING) hahahah.

We will see what my day brings tomorrow.

Jade Ali


----------



## soni

Oh Jade,

I am glad that u stood up for urself and Alhumdullilah have found another job too!!!!Brilliant I must say but what a stress to go through  

Now please test and give us some good news as well (not that I am trying to force u  ).whatever is the result we are all in it together!!!

I guess everyone else is enjoying the British summer!!!!!!not good to be stuck at home with laptop.......poor me!!! 

Love,
me!!


----------



## nuray_uk

soni said:


> Oh Jade,
> 
> I am glad that u stood up for urself and Alhumdullilah have found another job too!!!!Brilliant I must say but what a stress to go through
> 
> Now please test and give us some good news as well (not that I am trying to force u  ).whatever is the result we are all in it together!!!
> 
> I guess everyone else is enjoying the British summer!!!!!!not good to be stuck at home with laptop.......poor me!!!
> 
> Love,
> me!!


 selam to all sisters here this is my first time on message board so i don't understand it much. good luck to all sisters to be mums soon insallah


----------



## nuray_uk

Iman said:


> FABULOUS!!!
> 
> ALHAMDULILLAH!!!!!!!!
> 
> Im so happy for you, so glad Snowbelle!
> 
> Now....give yourself time to breath and relax and celebrate - but still consider chasing up that complaint on them for how rubbish they treated you!
> 
> Insha'allah the extraction goes well and you dont have to wait too long for that either - I think you are doing the right thing there opting to have it removed.
> 
> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALL PRAISE IS DUE TO ALLAH!
> 
> love and du'a ( to all other girls too!)
> 
> xx


selam to all sisters here this is my first time on message board so i don't understand it much. good luck to all sisters to be mums soon insallah


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Not much to report so haven't been on the board much. We are really just waiting to see the consultant at Guys at the end of July, really to explain ourselves! Inshallah I have my op on the 12th and then hopefully we will be ready and rearing to go!

Welcome to Nury, inshallah you'll find FF a great source of support etc.  

Love to everyone       

love

Snowbelle

ps Fazworld we need to hear more of your antics


----------



## FazWorld

ASA.

Oh dear - seem to be getting a bit of a reputation...   

Not much to report here.. took my kids yesterday to meet their new Headmistress (IA in September ). AH - all looks great, kids didn't want to leave!!! Have to go for induction again next week, when kids get the afternoon to play whilst we attend a talk  

Arranging a small graduation party for them.. b4 they IA go to Big School from pre-school. Its all so exciting...

One thing that did get to me yesterday was when the HM asked us ..'Are these your only children..' I wanted to scream..' we're trying as hard as we can to make more..!'  

DH is really convinced that it won't work now cos he reckons I past it.. so much so that will be a real struggle to get him to let me have another go...  - but its funny how he don't mind my nudging him awake after Fajr!!! 

Any road.. that's all from me folks..

ASA


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

Guess you all are tooooooooooo busy enjoying this weather hence only few responses since last few days.  
U all need to come back and tell us what u all have been busy doin?

Snow, hope u r ok and cooking something nice as usual for din dins  .I must say ur DH is a very lucky man because u take such a good care of him 

Fazworld I've taken aboard ur first tip of giving him a nudge after Fajr    and already has warned him to be prepared as well.so experiment is ready to go ahead although it can fail miserably if he is staying out of city for work  ...u'll all know the outcome in near future!!!!!!

Nury....welcome sis and hope u r ok.Waiting to listen from u a bit more often 

Maarias, hope ur treatment at Lister is going ahead ok.Me thinking of u hun!!!

Jadeline............Is no news is a good news?  

Waiting to hear from u all soon.Oh I had a sneak peak in my immune tests at ARGC yesterday.Although didn't make any sense to me at all but there are few things which were highlighted soooo now waiting and preparing myself for the worse!!!!

Love and Happiness to all of u,

Me!!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Lovely Ladies  ,
Inshallah everyone is a ok and on form! absolutely NADA to report. Managing to get slightly more mobile, and just waiting for various dates etc. I had my first physio session the day before yesterday which was really good as I am feeling as if I have made some progress since then.  

Soni, Dinner was very simple in our house just gluten free linguine (Mr Snowbelle's gluten pasta had gone wierd - I think he just wanted mine  ) and tomato sauce with crusty gf corn/buckwheat rolls all made by me...and that was after a little excursion to Oxford Street  

Fazworld loving your ideas   

love to everyone

love
Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Hey Snow - I was on Oxford Street as well today - just returning something I'd bought in the sales   - struggling a bit with an outfit for a wedding... 

Soni - thank you for thinking of me - am due to start injecting buserilin on Sunday IA - am so excited - can finally at least be PUPO in a few weeks   - hope your discussion with ARGC goes well...keep us updated.

Nuri - welcome hun, you'll soon figure things out here  

No other news: I made falafels for dinner today, which after an initial bad start, turned out delicious on a second attempt, dh was dead impressed   - not the healthiest option though, as they have to be deep fried  

Mx


----------



## Dibley

r4k  and a warm welcome to Fertility Friends! I'm sorry you've had a long journey trying to conceive and that you're feeling down today about it all - big hugs 

Let me introduce myself - I'm Dibley, the Religion & Infertility Board Moderator - I'm not a Muslim (i'm a Christian Vicar ) but if you need any help just ask  I see this is your first post - it can be quite daunting at the beginning, but once you get the hang of things it is a fantastic resource and support. The ladies (don't think we have had any Muslim men post yet ) on this thread are great! 
Though in general, all the boards can be quiet over the weekend...but I'm sure someone will be along soon to have a chat with you 

As you are new to the site, you may also want to take a look at our Introductions & Starting Out board:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=10.0

If you post on there and tell us a little about yourself, then the Moderators there will be able to guide you to other suitable boards for your particular circumstance -don't worry, they are lovely too!  There is also a thread on there called 'What every new member needs to know' which will answer frequently asked questions by newbies 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=101841.0

 that God will hear all our prayers 

Love Dibley x


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sisters

Firsly welcome to Nuray and to rf4k! Insha'allah you will find a lot of support here from these lovely ladies  

A quick update - firstly sorry for being absent, needed time to adjust.

We have gathered info now from 2 LAs and 3 agencies for adoption - and I have had 3 phone conversations with social workers. I think we have decided who to go with now - an agency - so I am posting the prelimary application tomorrow insha'allah. They are the ones who I felt the best feeling about and who rang me also to say how excited they were to hear from a mixed-race Muslim couple...and they work across the UK too so insha'allah these are the best ones for us....

I have a request insha'allah - I am trying to get a book on Islam and Adoption and having problems finding any such thing!! Searched amazon and bookshops...I have articles and fatwas on it but I want a book insha'allah. Therefore if anyone knows of or comes across a book on this please let me know - or just keep your eyes peeled for me insha'allah when online or in any shops please.

The only other news is that now DH is taking some homepathic remedy from Pakistan that the MIL got....weird looking herbal tablets and 2 pints of full fat milk a day! bang goes the gym routine! lol....he is being very good about it though masha'allah. We dont hold out much hope and we have accepted Adoption now but we are doing it just for MIL's peace of mind because she asked...its not causing him any harm and we have nothing to lose - its only for a couple of weeks too...Insha'allah what will be will be! 

Anyway I will pop in from time to time insha'allah when I have any news....
take care lovelies - May Allah swt shorten the journey for each of us until we meet our little ones wherever they maybe right now, Ameen.

Wasalaams xx


----------



## jadeline

Ladies, it was a negative for me, waiting 3 months to try again. I had to take a couple of days to deal with the feelings of sadness and move on.

I hope everyone is doing ok.

Jade


----------



## Fiffi

Oh Jade, I am so sorry to hear your news.   Hold strong sis.. Inshallah, it will happen soon. 

hugs
F
xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum ladies,

r4k - welcome  , this board is a great place to just vent and talk about stuff. Inshallah you'll get to know us all and our stories etc. Everyone here is really fantastic! Where abouts are you based?

Jade -    oh jade, hang in there inshallah next time    

Iman - I don't know of any specific adoption books (in Islamic book shops)   but I think thats more to do with the majority hang up regarding adoption.

Fiffi - 

Soni - Have the builders moved out yet

lots of love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA

Jade, I am sorry to hear your news sis.    IA Allah SWA will listen to yours and our prayers and grant you a little baby (and/or more).  

I was there in Feb. Went through the whole ICSI process, had 4 fantastic embies, decided to leave them for 2 more days to blastocyst. Ended up with one which was wilting practically as we were watching, but we persevered and went thru the 2ww only to get a negative. But to be honest, I knew a few days after ET, as I started getting the old familiar AP cramps that lasted right through to the onset of AP. But the miserable feeling in your gut is still just as acute even if you are expecting it.... but you continue praying it isn't so... cos you just don't want to face it. ..  

IA take time out to get emotionally stable before you embark on it again... as you know it is an emotional see- saw.

Salaams to everyone else and a big ASA to all the newbies.
Fazworld


----------



## Maarias

Salaam sisters,
Jade - I wsa so very very sorry to read your news    

Iman - I'm always interested to hear about how the adoption process is going with you. Also sending you many     for the homeopathic stuff your DH is taking.  

I don't know much about the adoption process as regards being a muslim, I didn't realised that it was looked on so unfavourably, I must come from a very broad-minded family, as my mum, in particular, always suggested adoption to us as an alternative before my ds was conceived, and it's something I've always wanted to do. My maternal aunt runs an orphanage in Pakistan (she is unmarried) and has adopted two of the boys from there herself. I really don't know the technicalities of how it would work for muslims...but will try and find a bit next time I phone home.

Two bits of news from me:
The first, I had some very sad news from dh today, my sil, who is 42, has lost the baby at almost 20 wks - I am just overwhelmed with sadness for her and just feel so embarrassed and rubbish about my own jealousy when she first told me...

My other news is that I started injecting buserilin on Sunday...this cycle of tx has so far been sooo low key in comparison to my ARGC one...this can only be a good thing I think, as even if it doesn't work I'm hoping/able to feel slightly detached from the process. 

I am back at work in mid-August, around the time that IA I will be testing...dh and I were hoping to go on holiday again before then...might even go for a few days in 2ww, even if it's just to France, otherwise I'm likely to go stir-crazy at home...can't book anything yet though, as don't know how things will pan out...patience, patience... 

All my love to all of you
Mx


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

Where r u all hiding

Jade, Sorry to hear about ur negative result but keep trying.It will happen soon Insha'Allah!!

Maarias,hope u r well and DR'ing is going fine.....update please!!!

Iman,good to hear from u and making dua for swift adoption process fo u Ameen!!!

Snowbelle, hope everything is ok and u r enjoying weather and special meals with DH.

FAzworld,Still busy with ur tactics or awaiting results....feedback please!!!

Nury and r4k,welcome and feel like home.waiting for some exciting news from ur end of the world as well.

KP,hope u and the bump is ok!!!

Well, me have just finished monitoing cycle at argc and now waiting for immune result interpretation from thm plus my SIL have announced another pregnancy,she already have 2 kids and youngest is 6 months old.I am finding it really hard to deal with all of this at the moment.Feel like all of my reserve patience has finishes already.Even MIL is asking us when we will have kidsThankfully my DH put a lid on it yesterday otherwise she would have go on and on.......please keep me in ur prayers as me finding it really hard to understand why is it soooo grilling and difficult for us?

Hugs and kisses to all and take care,

Soni.

PS: Reading back I feel that I sound like horribly jealous and nosy.........beieve me I am not!!!!just struggling...


----------



## Fiffi

Hi R4K,

Just read your post. I had my little one after 15 years of marriage and several IVFs etc..it happened naturally just before my 40th b'day. Just wanted to share my story with you in the hope that it would give you strength and hope. Inshallah, your dreams will come true soon. I will pray for you. 

Soni, that goes for you too. You are in my prayers. 

Hi to everyone else...sorry I haven't been around much. Just enjoying the summer too much. 

hugs
F
xx


----------



## Maarias

Salaam sisters,
I have come upstairs in a strop with dh as he's plonked in front of the tv after coming home from work, after I've just had the most exhausting day with  gardening, looking after ds (who's at the most 'delightful' age at the moment and was throwing the plants around in the garden centre!! ) - I am now hiding upstairs in front of the computer to calm myself down - honestly I think the buserilin is starting to kick in now in terms of mood swings (am so glad to be off the pill (I was on it for 3wks before this) as I was turning quite nasty I'm ashamed to admit  ).
I best go down and make sure he's ok, as it's well past ds's bedtime...
Update from me is that I'm in for a scan tomorrow morning (IA I will start stimming    ) pls keep me in  your duas sisters, I'm keeping all you of in my hearts and duas.

R4K and Soni - big hugs to both of you     - Soni keep us updated of news at ARGC.
Mx


----------



## miss n.k

assala ma alakium sisters

you all must be wondering where i have dissaperared to. well i went to wales for a week to See me mum as she was ill we just found out she had arthritis in the knee she's been getting pain in the knee for a long time. so she had to have an injection in the knee to keep her going so i had to go down to look after her and my disabled brother, 

i then had to come back to the midlands in an emergency as my grandma had been admitted to hospital and was very serious she had been resuscitated twice and she had blood clots in her chest from Monday i was in the hospital everyday all my family were going through a very hard time for 2 days she wouldn't talk and was breathing very heavily we were all crying so much and thought we were going to lose her.
the doctors also told us we Will have to see what hapens as she is very poorly but we cnt say if she Will survive the way she is going, then mashalah yesterday she got up and started talking to us but is still in alot of pain, but she is hallucinating alot remembering past things and saying people that are dead are coming to visit her I'm still so scared and upset.
          PLEASE SISTERS DO DUA FOR MY GRANDMA SHE GETS BETTER.

i myself am okay but very stressed for my grandma, hope you all are okay and doing well.

welcome to R4K AND NURY i am always here if you want to talk feel at home lol.

FIFFI- salaam sis hope you OK.
SNOWBELE- hope you doing well.
JADE- I'm so sorry to hear about your negative result inshalah Allah talah Will bless us all with a child inshalah
SONI- Still reading your posts hope your well and in good health.

and salaam to everyone Else Ive missed out take care all. 

          
love miss n.k


----------



## Asyah

Salaams Ladies

Im new to this board, well kind of. Registered while ago but never really beem on.

Few questions for you hope you dont mind.

I was diagnosed with endo and PCOS and had two laps last year. Pain wise last lap was successful, but due to damage done by endo etc Im unable to conceive. 

Saw my consultant Prof Ledger at Sheffield yesterday and he said we could go ahead with IVF. Its something Ive always been 50/50 about. 

Any one been through IVF?

aSYAH


----------



## Iman

Salaams sisters

Just some news - we have booked our first 'interview' with adoption agency! 1st August!

Before then we are off on holiday to Duabi for 1 week - much needed! can't wait!

all in all quite an exciting time alhamdulillah!!

hope all are well insha'allah

Wasalaams xx


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Masha'Allah another newbie......welcome Asyah and we hope and pray for your much deserved  .I have been through IVF/ICSI and although it sounds horrible and feel horrible too to some extent I always see to it as a step forward and closer to being a mum Insha'Allah and that take away lots of anxiety plus u have got all of us now to share anything u like and we will try our best not to dissapoint you at all  .

Iman, good to hear from you and Alhamdullilah things are moving fast and swift for you.....I can see now that you wil be a mother before me atleast so huge    to you and what a reward for your patience and preserverence.I am really happy for u and Dubai sounds very exciting......enjoy ur hols!!!

Maarias, how did ur scan go?still DRing or stimming now?Hubbies can be difficult to deal with all the hormones flowing thru us.........hope ur lil one is enjoying this lovely weather and time with u both and feel free to let out any emotions/anxieties u have......we all are here for u.  

R4K, how r u todaythanks for keeping this thread alive these days as we all are having a break...well sort of.when are you planning to start againwhich clinic are u at and will it be ur first time going thru treatmentJust being nosey again I guess....can't help it  

Snowbelle, come on and share what ever u r doing online  .Goodluck for ur physio apptt........  we will insha'Allah meet very soon!!!

Fazworld....where r u Is it TTOM and u r busy with tacticsmissing u  

Fiffi, thanks for ur msg.U have really been blessed with beautiful daughter Masha'Allah.....me just need to keep my faith strong!!!

KP , r u back Thinking of u!!! 

Neelam, praying for ur grandma and hope she is better now....u r going through very tough time.Take care of u and everyone around u hun  

Nuray ,where have u dissappearedCome back to us   

Love,
Soni


----------



## Asyah

Salaams

Thanks for your messages.

Does anyone know islamic rules etc with IVF? I've done my research on the internet and found that we can do IVF, but with a female doctor. That for me is near impossible, because I found my perfect consultant after 10 years of agony with endo and PCOS. I know its the right step, and im very excited but what if having it done by a male doctor is wrong? 

Hope your all well and smiling.xx


----------



## Fiffi

Hi Asyah..welcome to the board. I've had several IVFs and if you want to ask anything, please feel free to do so. I cannot answer any religious questions I"m afraid as I am no religious scholar, but in general, please ask ok. if you want you can PM me too. 

Iman, wonderful news. Very happy for you. And have fun in Dubai!  

Miss n.k my prayers are with your grandma. And I hope your mom is feeling better.

Soni - I can understand about the ups and downs of faith. I am the Queen of it lol. God knows how many times I have screamed into the open air until I lost my voice. Dont want to write too much about my "frustration tantrums"..dont want to scare anyone.  

Maarias I hope your scan went well and you can start stimming. All my good wishes. Do keep us posted. 

R4K - how are you doing? Hold strong. I know how rotten it feels like when family keeps asking you about when you are going to have a baby. I even had people tell my hubby to migrate to a muslim country and take a second wife!!!   Luckily he thinks one wife is enough to cope with. (some times nagging works wonders   )

Jade, snowbelle, everyone I've missed...hope you are doing good. I took my little one to a Zoo last weekend. Of all the animals, the ones that interested her most were the ducks! next time I am saving my money and taking her to the park lol

hugs
F
xx


----------



## FazWorld

asa everyone (newbies et al)

prayers and dua's to all those of you (or your loved ones) that are in dire straits.. (or not as it happens since we all need all the du'as we can get!)

How are you all doing? No Soni - in answer to your question..it is not my TOTM at the mo.. on my 2WW AGAIN!!!! ha ha! I was sick the other day if that helps.. nasty.. but that was something I caught off my DD. Felt absolutely lousy ALL w/e. Sickness passed and I faced reality again. I was off on Monday due to being unwell.. and DH decided he would PRETEND it was my TOTM!!!!!   oh happy days...(for him) - truth be told, I only really seem to feel interested at that time these days.. its obv the strain of all these years getting to me (or is it simply my age?? they say that is a factor tooo)  

Anyroad, nasty cramplike feelings back so AP obv just round the corner..

Welcome to the newcomers that will find us such a bunch of jokers on here!!!

ASA sisters and bros out there...
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

Inshallah everyone is on form and feeling positive. I'm sorry I haven't been on the board much, I've just been feeling very anti babies and this whole thing. I feel really fed up. I've also had a few foot things to do, so been trying to focus on that rather than think about negative things like not being able to ttc because of lump etc.

Welcome to Asyah! Inshallah you will benefit from everyone here, they are all fantastic!  

Maarias - sorry to hear about your SIL - inshallah things will work out. Hows your tx going Hope its not too emotional.

Iman - alhumdulilah great to hear you guys are going on holiday after the time that you've had and even better news on the adoption front.

Fazworld - I just love your stories! They make me smile even when I don't feel like posting  

Fiffi - I cracked up when I heard your LO loved the ducks - bet you wished she'd said that when you were in the queue. My DH LOVES the zoo, he dragged me there for his birthday last year and now he wants to go back again!!!

R4K - inshallah you have to be strong. Don't let other people get to you. Inshallah your parents understand that its also Allah's (swt) will as to when and if we get children, and if we don't we can't fight it, and if we do we can't time it.

Miss NK - so sorry to hear about your grandma   inshallah Allah(swt) makes it easier for your family and her  

Jade -   hope you are feeling strong

Soni - thanks for the laugh the other I had a great time  

  to everyone I haven't mentioned

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

snowbelle,

couldn't stop smiling after remebering my desi accent(devonshire/espirit) later on.Even told DH and he said that he thought of correcting me but couldn't..........guess he is just afraid of me   .Great news about physio,u see we are the best!!!!  plus he loves to go to the zoo tooooooooMG we have to meet up soon with our DHs!!!!!can't wait now  

well I hope rest of u al are ok and planning a nice weekend........looking forward to hear from u all very soon   

soni


----------



## FazWorld

asa all...

oh well.. am off my self-imposed 2WW...   a bit   for thinking otherwise anyway... oh well always next month.. and the next  .. and the next...  we must have hope and faith... Come on embies.. we waiting here for you to appear!!!

I was speaking to the mum of one my DD friends. She was going down this kiddies slide - fairly deep one and then told me she was 11 weeks PG!!! Those that don't have our issues take it so easy and casual...tho she did say she maybe shouldn't have done it afterwards!

Hope everyone enjoying the gorgeous weather? IA it is here to stay for a while.. 

Salaams to one and all
Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

Hope u all are fine and enjoy this lovely weather.I've heard it's going to be 29 degrees on Friday soooo very much looking forward to it  .

Well,Af is here today.Feeling very down at the moment as still hasn't come out of the shock of SIL's another pregnancy...u are right FAzworld it is easy for some people and they are also blessed to enjoy it thouroughly Masha'Allah!!!!but it will be our turn soon.I am trying to think and stay positive   

Where is the rest of the team?Hope u all are enjoying urselves!!!!

Love,

Soni


----------



## Maarias

I'm here - just busy!

DS has come down with chicken pox poor thing - not great timing either as the docs are now trying to decide whether to still let me take the steroids as it'll suppress my immune system, which is not good if there's pox in the house!! AAARGH!!! Also, not sure whether I mentioned, I was quite sick last Thursday - I thought it was just a dodgy curry but turns out I may have had a reaction to the menopur I was on, so have now been changed to gonal f - not responding as well as usually do, so let's hope this does the trick...EC IA next week    
Mx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Maarias - sorry to hear that you are having a rough few days. Adverse reactions to meds are never nice  . Really hoping and praying that the next ones you try do the trick!

We are off to Guys today to see the consultant and explain ourselves...all feels a bit sad really. I was reading some of my old posts on the fibroid section and I can't believe I thought I'd be pregnant by may!!! I'm so annoyed with all these horrible side problems I have  

On lighter note, I went for little walk without my crutches yesterday    

Love and duas for everyone   

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA everyone,

where has everyone got to? On holiday? Enjoying the sun? Just chilling?  

Pop in and say asa if you get a chance...

Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Isn't the weather lovely?  Sadly no holiday for us right now, as I have lots of foot appointments and physio/hydrotherapy etc. Inshallah we are aiming for Malaysia in October! Nothing beats the idea of going on holiday when the weather is cold and stormy and horrible  

I saw our fet dr at Guys last week and I have to have a hysterosalpingogram, has anyone had one? And did they administer the drugs 'per rectum'?   Frankly that bit just sounds scarey!

Fazworld - I want some more stories from your world!!!

lots of love to everyone  

Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Snowbelle,
I've had a hysterosalpingogram or 'hsg' - it basically involves inserting a catheter (sort of wire) into your tubes (from the front) - usually in an attempt to unblock them...

Not sure why you'd need one if you're having ivf as the whole point is that it avoids using tubes that may be damaged or blocked....  

Are you sure it's an hsg you're having as it doesn't usually involve any drugs or anything being put up the 'rear exit'  

News here: I'm IA in for EC on Friday - lots of follies apparently but please     for me! 

Mx


----------



## FazWorld

asa

Maarias IA hope everything goes well for u in Friday - MA good day to have it.  

When is ET - Monday? My d'uas are with you sister.  

My TOTM AGAIN.. trying hard AGAIN. My body telling me that Ov about to happen anyday - so hard at it everyday after Fajr!!! 

IA want to wait till Oct - to try and will IA then have to go back to Lister for last attempt AGAIN.. 

Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Glad to see u all back  

Maarias,   hard for you sis!!!IA it will be a very smooth procedure.

Fazworld, looks like u r very busy   lets pray together that this is the month for you  .

Snow, it's a very simple procedure.15 mins job only!!!Just take pain killers before and after the procedure depending on your pain tolerance.On the plus side many people concieve immediately after the procedure so    to you.Holidays sounds FAB!!!!

On my end ,I took Humira yesterday and then again in two weeks time before doing immunes again.Looks like Insha'Allah starting again in late sept/Oct time.May go on a short break before starting the next cycle as well but nothing decided yet.

Iman, R u back and how was ur hols
Well enjoy the weather and loads of luck to you all.

Love,
Soni


----------



## FazWorld

ASA

Maarias, I was wondering if you could do me a favour? When I was asked in for EC, they asked me if I had been on any antibiotics over the last 3 months. Can you ask them if this is a problem for EC. Else why else would they have asked? They do not tell you initially not to go on any antibiotics three months before. 

Reason I am asking is that I have a nasty cough that I have had for ages, and think it might be a chest infection that may need to be shifted using antibiotics.  

If I want to do the treatment in October (unless of course something happens in the meantime    ), and it is a problem, I may not ask Doc for any... nasty cough - sounds like bogey stuck in my chest trying to come out every time a cough  

JZK
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Maarias, praying real hard for you, inshallah it will work! I'm having this (now confirmed) HSG thing as we haven't reached the IVF stage. Initially it looked like DH's swimmers had problems, but now he is fine. Then I had a fibroid, once that was removed we were given time to ttc naturally. So now I have the HSG just to check what going on there and then things will assessed/offered etc. I asked the ladies in the tubal dept, and it seems that drugs via the 'back door' (loving their local lingo!) is quite the norm and reduces bleeding etc after the procedure.

Fazworld, hoping you get there before ramadan!

Soni and everyone, lots of love

love

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

I was posting on the BBC's TTC and a sister directed me here. Insha Allah I will get to know you all. I need support and du'as so please remember me. How do you all show your information in pink?

SisterC

P.S.



miss n.k said:


> I also smoke  i know its a very bad habit but inshalah i will soon stop


You are not alone.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams   SisterC 
Welcome! Everyone here is really fantastic and inshallah everyone will help you on mission to ttc.

To get the info in pink, you go to profile and there are some boxes to fill in.

Where abouts are you based

lots of love and duas

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Assaalaaum alaikum sisters!

welcome sister C! you found us alhamdulillah! I am f&H from the other board who directed you here. Please feel free to chat - everyone shares here!

Well update from me insha'allah

We came back from a week in Dubai yesterday alhamdulillah. Had a fabulous time  even got a bit of a tan on my pasty face lol....( rare occurence believe me! ) 

Tomorrow insha'allah we go to the Adoption Agency for our first appointment insha'allah. Plese remember us in your du'a as we set out on this road  - I am a bit nervous!! 

r4k - re the taxmoxifen.My husband took taxmoxifen for 3 months from Feb to May this year. This was for azoospermia - arrested sperm maturation. Basically they dont mature enough to grow tails and swim. It was told to us to have a 1 in 4 success rate for this problem and to be a new treatment. As you will know from our status now - this didn't work for us and was the end of the road. I felt I should tell you BUT I dont want to worry you insha'allah as your DH's prob is very different to my DH's - so for you there is every chance it will work!!! insha'allah! he had no side effects alhamdulillah which is one good thing. What I will say though is this - its a very rare treatment very new - so you are unlikely to find anything on the net about it. I searched and searched believe me!! And what I did find was not backed up enough and was flimsy - so few people are doing this so far. Who are you with out of interest?? only a few consultants are trying it - we had Dr Ramsay at Charing Cross. He was really good and had used this before on patients and had successs alhamdulillah - I will remember you in my du'a. As yours is for low testosterone one thing I will say is ( my DH's testosteron level was normal) was that I *think* it raised his testosterone level when he was on it as he had as much higher sex drive than normal!!     ( the things we share here, lol...) so insh'allah it works for you!!

anyway must go. Sister C welcome again, Im so gald you made it alhamdulillah. The other board is great, they are fabulous listeners with great advice masha'allah on all aspects of TTC - but for the cultural and religious issues you mentioned I think you will find some girls from  more similar backgrounds here insha'allah if you wish to discuss these things....


all in my du'a and sending my love 

xxx


----------



## Iman

Salaaams sis Snowbelle

Just saw you wil be having an HSG.

I had this back at the end of Jan this year  - while they checked DH they wanted to check me out too. 

I have to say it was not a bad procedure at all alhamdulillah. To talk you through it so you know what to expect: they took me to a cubicle to put on the hospital gown - remove everything from the waist down. I then sat in the hall in my hijab and gown - must have looked a sight but there you go! then they asked me a few questions re my periods and I had a really nice doctor - they know you might be nervous so are really gentle with you. You lie on a table - ermm...spread your legs ( scuse the phrase I didnt know how else to say it!) they insert a tube similar to what they use when you have smear test and push liquid up though it...it didnt hurt just a bit of an uncomfortable sensation but really no pain....then the table is raised up and a x ray machine is placed over you and take lots of scans...you should be able to see it on a screen. I asked for my results then and there but she was not allowed to give them to me - I had to wait 6 weeks to see my consultant before that ( alhamdulillah all clear). then they let the table down and allow you some privacy to clean yourself....they give you an NHS sanitary towel as some liquid will seep out over the course of the day - I reccommend you take your own with you as their's was like a brick!! lol...I had no pain though was recommended to have painkillers with me ( paracetamol) just in case and I had a tiny amount of spotting for a few hours that evening but that was it...

Really though its not a scary or painful experience at all alhamdulillah. It is said also that it 'clears the tubes out' so there is a higher chance of pregnancy in your cycle afterwards - so insha'allah that works for you! 

I hope this was useful to you anyway insha'allah - let us know when it is, will remember you in my du'a insha'allah

take care

xxx


----------



## soni

Salam everyone,

Welcome sisterC,great to have you here  .

Maarias,thinking of you today and hopefully you will have plenty of healthy eggs and praying for ur speedy recovery as well.Can't believe u will be in ur 2ww soon and Insha'Allah with some good news too!!!!

R4K, Good luck with ur latest adventure!!!!praying for ur success too.

Iman, great to hear from you and goodluck for today's apptt.Hopefully things will go very smoothly for you Insha'Allah.....great to know that u enjoyed ur trip to Dubai and had a very relaxing time......can we see some pics please?

Fazworld, hope u r well and not tired with ur efforts  

Snowbelle, thinking of u too.What r u upto these days??

Fiffi    to you.

where are the rest of the newbiesjust wondering  

Love,
Soni


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sisters

Well we didnt go to our adoption appointment today.

Basically, I cancelled it because we had a long talk this morning. DH is very unhappy in his job and has been for sometime - a long time really. He has wanted to start his own business for a long time and at 34 ( next week) he feels its now or never.

Reason 2 is that we currently rent a small 2 bed flat. Its titchy. Even if we cleared out the 2nd room ( box room) its not big enough for a child really - maybe a baby, but once they start crawling and then walking - no way. We said we would look for somewhere from November and aim to move in January insha'allah - but this morning we realised that this isnt practical for us in all honesty as it means DH HAS to stick out at least another 6 months in his job - and hes at the point of walking out now already ( otherwise we cant get the mortgage - halal mortgage finance checks are very thorough!)

So we came to the decision that the only way to TRULY provide the most stable start for any child we adopt is one where we get ourselves sorted out now. Whilst we can adopt without owning a home - you just have to show you have adequate space and stable housing - its not practical. And DH's current job means he works almost 7 days a week - with no choice in the matter -so how could we afford the mortgage or rent of a bigger place if I am off work with baby and how would he get to spend any time with the child?? it just doesnt look like it would work

So I cancelled the appointment because it didnt seem fair to waste their time - this inital interview would have been very much about what sort of stable home we can provide and the practicalities of it all - who would spend time with the child. They advise you dont go back to work if you can help it - no nursery for at least 1 year for the child - as they need a stable home and time to adjust.

So what we have decided is that from today we are on it with the business and sorting this out - lots of research planning and preparation and DH will hand in notice at end of September. Then in about 6 months ( feb next year insha'allah) we will start the assessment process for adoption ( this takes at least another 6 months). Insha'allah by this time we hope to have business up and running and have moved home - either renting bigger place or have bought one insha'allah. Then by the time they find us a child insha'allah we can provide them a stable home right from the beginning - with Mummy at home all the time and Daddy working 5 days a week and not too many hours insha'allah.

this was a hard decision to make.....in all honesty each time we take a step further away from meeting our child its tearing me up   I dont know how longer I can wait. But we want to do this together and do it properly. We have made agreement alhamdulillah that this is our business, our partnership and we will not waste time - I have told DH explicitly that I dont have time for time-wasters!! We have a programme and we are sticking to it insha'allah....its gonna be tough because all through August we are so busy with BIL's wedding and then its Ramadan straight after! but we have to do it - while we have the flexibilty of time ( pre-baba) and energy and money to invest. I asked the adoption agency to keep our details on file and explained the situation and said that we are definatly serious about adoption and going with them and in actual fact its because we are so serious about it that we feel we need to sort some things out first so we can commit and provide the best home we can for a child insha'allah...these children come from very unstable backgrounds, it wouldnt be fair to put them in an environment where Mummy and Daddy are stressed about daddy's job and money and home and where Daddy works all the hours God sends for the family but losing out on the more important things...I grew up in that environment and its not nice at all...my relationship with my father suffered as a result.

So.............

dunno what to say now...!

I guess Im not gonna have much news to report over the next 6 months or so...though I will be very busy! dont forget you can catch me on ******** if you want to insha'allah - Soni, thats where all the photos from the holiday are!!!

Lots of love and du'a - please remember us in your du'a to give us sabr and strength and to guide us on the straight path in all that we do insha'allah and I shall make the same for you, ameen.

Wasalaams 

xxxx

p.s. if anyone knows of some commercial premises with a garden for sale for a good price in London let me know!!!!!!!! 
( I would tell you the business we have decided but its quite unique and this is a public board - plus it would be a surprise if it works out insha'allah....its targetted at the Ummah and Im making sure to keep the sisters in mind insha'allah..  )


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Just a few catch ups and then I will come to my news:

Faz - sorry I didn't get a chance to ask about your anti-bs - would it be worth ringing one of the nurses there and leaving a message- they seem quite good about ringing back   I wasn't asked that question btw yesterday before the op.

Iman - I think that's a very brave and responsible decision you and dh have made - IA your business will take off quickly and you'll have the stable environment you're wanting for the baby. Just wondered: is there an age limit or ideal age for the parents to be for adoption? I always got the impression that at 37 and 38 me and dh were too old? I can't remember how old you said you were?  Please keep us updated of how things are going with your business...it sounds truly exciting!

My news:
We have 19 eggs!!!! That's the most I've ever had (last time was 16 and before that 13 so we always get a decent crop) Personally I think the Lister had me on too high a dose of gonal F (225)given my history, hence why the huge crop. I'm now guzzling loads of water as am worried about OHSS. 
Am hoping to speak to the doctor again as well to convince him that ds is well and truly over chicken pox and that I should be ok to take the steroids after all...    that he agrees. I really want to give our crop the best chance possible. Am expecting a phone call this morning to find out how many have fertilised IA.

Take care ladies,
Mariax


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Maarias, Well done you!!!!    .19 is Excellent.Now    for excellent fertilisation rate as well.Just keep drinking water.I was on max dose of 45o iu in my last attempt but had only 11 eggs so you are doing brilliantly Masha'Allah!!!!

Iman, a very honest and brave decision indeed.May Allah grant you with all the happiness and HIS blessings  .

r4k,   to you too

Snowbelle,  

Soni


----------



## Maarias

hi ladies,
Alhamdullilah am pleased to report that we had 12 fertilize!!!    
Please keep making     for us!
Mariax


----------



## FazWorld

ASA all

Maarias, AH good news on your eggs and embies. IA may they emplant.    If you have enough - are you going to freeze again? I normally get very good number of follies, which decrease at ICSI, and the number actually viable usually very few, not enough to freeze ever   oh well ..

How many you going to have put back? 2 or 3? I know the HFEA max is 2, but for ladies >40 they allow 3 back.. not sure if you anywhere near that age. Of course that means that the probability of Multiple birth increase. I always went for 3, only cos when I got my last BFP, altho I was under the age, it was still allowed to have 3 put in. Law changed after 2003. Now I am of age!  . I must admit, stupidly I was more upset about only having 1 put back this time (due to the embies being such low quality - they were graded CD's) than at the BFN, cos I knew there was no chance of having multiple again.  

Soni, I noticed from your profile that you thinking of ICSI July/Aug 2008.. still doing that?

Myself, I am still trying 'the natural' route. Was just working it out. I am on my 2WW now.. that gives me another two attempts before Oct (end of Ramadhan) after which I gonna try and convince DH to part with some money to try again. Will be difficult as he thinks I too old now so 'good money after bad' type of thing.. 

Iman - stay in touch sis - even tho you following adoption route (or not at the moment). IA Allah SWA does what is best for us.  

Salaams to everyone else.
Fazworld


----------



## Fiffi

Maarias...AH. That is wonderful news. All my prayers are with you for a successful cycle. 
Salaams to all. sorry I am in a rush

hugs
F
xx


----------



## Maarias

Salaam Faz,
IA we would love to freeze if any are suitable even though fet has much lower success rate - it just leaves you with some hope if it's a bfn. I'm 38 so don't think they'll agree to 3 embie transfer for me...also I imagine the fact that I've been pregnant in the past will count against me  

We are due for ET tomorrow IA - embies are now down to 5/6 'good ones' so let's see what tomorrow brings     - am not really looking forward to ET, it's always quite emotional for me to have embies back on board, but also have never been very good with cervical smears...and the Lister want a full bladder as well - I have the smallest/weakest bladder in the world    

At my last transfer the doctor (I think it was Mr. T) told me someone actually wet themselves during ET - oh the shame - can you imagine    

Mx


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Maarias,Good Luck with the transfer tomorrow.   for ur share of happiness and IA few healthy ones to freeze as well.

FAzworld,I need to change my profile.Actually I am with ARGC now and they have found some immune issues fo which I am taking Humira and don't think will be able to start till end Sept/Octclose to ur cycle or we can be cycle buddies too   .Me also trying naturally but not very hopeful and not pressurising myself either.Just going with the flow I guess  

Fiffi, good to c u here and hope u and Sarah are well

R4k, where r u

Snowbelle, thinking about u too  

Iman,KP,Asyah,   and love to all

Soni


----------



## FazWorld

ASA 

Maarias, I know what you mean about the full bladder. In my successful attempt, I drank loads of water, and was full but they were delayed by the time my turn came. So I had to empty and then refill. BUT THEY WERE DELAYED AGAIN!! I was bursting, so when my turn came, I felt very much like wetting myself but managed to hold on.  

As soon as the ET was done, I ran to the loo..altho I would ideally have wanted to keep my legs up for a short while at least. I was afraid I may have flushed them out! but MA they stayed put and are now nearly 5 years old AH!!!   

Good luck IA with you embies.
Fazworld


----------



## Maarias

Faz - I had to wee straight after my last fresh cycle as well, and was convinced I'd flushed the embies down the loo    - it's good to hear that bfps are still possible in this situation    

Soni - really hope the humira does the trick for you, I've heard good things about it - my cytokines came back as normal, so I never had to consider that option. 

I managed to convice docs at the Lister to let me start steroids over the weekend so let's hope they help suppress whatever is stopping the embies from implanting - the Lister seem to think it's just a numbers game - I really hope they are right as I'm not prepared to go down the IVIG route...   

Mx


----------



## soni

Maarias,

Thinking about you and wondering how did the transfer go??An update please would be helpful   .

talking of Humira, my psoriasis had improved dramitically after just one injection and everyone is commenting on the glow I have which normally is absent and I haven't experienced it since ages(last one when I had PUVA therapy around 7 years ago)I hope cytokines levels drop and I don't have to pay for more inj, just want to save some money   

R4K, kittens,oh I love them!!!!I want to have some of my own but DH says not now  .Hope u r ok!!!!

Fazworld and snowbelle   

Love,

Soni


----------



## Maarias

Hi Soni,
Sorry for the lack of update - computer is in the loft room and I've been trying to avoid going up and down the stairs too much!!   

AH, ET went super smooth - two blasts back on board - one is a hatching blast which I think is good as the embryologist got very excited about it!!    

Found out today that one is suitable for freezing and is now on ice...which is such great news!

Now just need to get through the next week - aaargh!!! I'm not very good at resting...did it for yesterday and this morning, but had ds to look after this pm although my mum was here to help he's still at a quite 'full -one stage' and likes to climb all over me - I ended up having to hide in our bedroom for a bit!    He's in nursery for the whole day tomorrow and with MIL on Saturday as dh is going to watch a cricket match so hopefully I'll then have a chance to rest! Apparently today and tomorrow are the crucial days for blasts to implant so please make     for me ladies!

Soni - I'm glad the humira is going well -


----------



## soni

Maarias, Excellent hun!!!!Now     time!!!!IA u will have ur dream.

R4k, Great to hear from u!!!!Nothing exciting going on my end.Just plodding along and trying to keep myself busy as much as I can!!!!It's weekend again and DH is working  so I have to think what to doMay go to inlaws but seen them quiet a lot recently and don't fancy that but otherwise don't have any options either  .We'll see tomorrow!!!

Snow, How r ufeelingIt is a difficult time but keep positive and ur maulvi is thinking and praying for you  

Fazeeeeeeeee, where r u  

Love,

Me!!!


----------



## FazWorld

ASA Ladies,

Maarias, Well done on the blasts.. IA it will work for u!

Been a bit under the weather, got the most dreadful toothache. Plus went to the doctors today, apparently very low on Vitimin D, causes one to be lethergic, tired etc..thats me  

Question, I have a dentist appointment on Monday to see what is happening in my mouth. They will have to take an x-ray. Tho I am sure that my 2WW will come to nothing, should I take precautions and tell the dentist and feel stupid later when nothing happens or what? 

I know I am stupid to think that   but if it were true, I would hate to think I had had x-ray during that time.

Help and advice pls.


----------



## soni

Fazee,

Sorry to hear about ur toothache.as far as xray is concerned,it is always advisable to let doctor know about the possible conception/pregnancy but as I understand whole radiology stuff it will not be a direct threat as ur abdomen is not directly exposed during jaw xray.Another thing is anaesthesia and I would personally be more worried about it.Let them know so they can give u low dose too.but these are just precautions as think about it there are hundreds and thousands of ladies who are pregnant and go through different thing and I know all of us believe that if it is destined to happen nothing can stop it!!!!!(these are my personal views)

 to you,hope toothache feels better soon.

Love,

Soni


----------



## Iman01

Salaam Everyone, 

I am returning to this board after a failed ivf cycle in March. I come on the site everyday but don't really post.

I am humbly asking for anyone who reads this to pray for me. I had a 2dt on Wednesday and officially test on 23/8.

I have never wanted anything to work so much in my life. 

Please could you all remember me in your dua's-I will be truly gateful. 

I pray Allah SWT makes all our dua's come true.

A very grateful Iman01xx


----------



## FazWorld

asa,

thanks soni i was abit worried.I went to the dentist today, apparently the pain I had the other day was my nerve dying... once it ad died, the pain subsided. ..I was advised that although I was not in pain now, it could get infected and again cause pain, so either have root canal treatment which may still require removal later, or have it extracted - so I said Bismillah and had the tooth extracted. I mentioned about my hopeful condition. The dentist said it was Ok, as not doing anything that might cause harm, and they already had the x-rays. 

Whilst it was being pulled, I was so scared, I started reading Ayat Al Kursi. After reading only two of them, she told me it was all done AH!!, and even now, MA not much pain.. wait till tonight 

welcome to Iman01. Insha 'allah we will all do d'ua for you sister. 

Fazworld


----------



## KittenPaws

Salaam All,

Its been too long. Im back! I hope all is well, i wont attempt to catch up but InshAllah you are all okay.

Lots of love to all

KP


----------



## soni

Fazee, good to know dentist trip went well!!!!!Hope it heals quickly!!!When r u testing this month  

R4K, Insha'Allah u will get through the course.What r u planning to study??Look after urself!!  

Woohoooo KP is back.Hope u and the bump is well.  

Snowbelle,how r u feeling this AM

MAarias and Iman01   and   for u both.

Love,
Soni


----------



## FazWorld

Asa,

never actually have to test.. AP normally comes on time(ish)...  once it was 4 days late, I did test, and it came that afternoon... I felt stupid and was annoyed that I wasted a good test stick.  

What does AP actually stand for Accursed Period? Saw the glossary once - but never ale to find it's whearabouts again.

Saying that however, end of 2WW is this Friday(ish). just as well actually - cos I am on a course next week, and its alway  bit difficult to find places to do salah on new premises.. at least this way it is not a problem  

I am on hols for the next 3 days and on course all next week, so IA speak to you on my return to work after BH Monday. 

Take care one and all and asa
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Nothing to report, so haven't been posting just been lurking. Feeling very angry and very fed up. Unfortunately due to, I don't know what, my operation to remove my lump was canceled  . As yet I haven't been given a confirmed operation date, but managed to give away my slot. I'm just getting really angry thinking about it. Its all very consuming. Sadly I won't be able to have  my HSG this cycle because of this  and don't even get me started on what my poor little foot is missing out on. Its all just a stress at the moment.

Anyway welcome to all the newbies  

Lots of love to the oldies    not that anyone is old!

Love

Snowbelle


----------



## KittenPaws

Oh snowbelle im so sorry to hear that! That is crap! I think it is probably due to a new system the NHS has installed for client/patient records. Apparently its supposed to be more efficient, but alot of our patients are losing appointments and being delayed! Im so sorry. 

Id make a psycho complaint and sent it to your director in your local PCT if you ring the hospital ask for human resources they will direct you. Or you can go straight to the top (i would) and sent it to the medical directorate of that hospital.


----------



## DreamTeam

Yay! Salams KP   I missed you!

Complaint was made verbally and in writing and been sent off to my local MP. By all accounts it seems as if the Admin Bed Booker- Admissions person has been trying to bump someone up the list and frankly I'm just so angry.    

Inshallah you and your bambino are getting stronger!

lots of love


----------



## SisterC

salam alaikom all
I wrote a big long post filling you in on my story and thanking those who welcomed me but I accidentally lost it all,
Follicle tracking Monday - good size - OV expected that day CD14 or the next. BD Sunday, Monday but not today
CD15 EWCM
Make du'a I can get dh to BD in the morning   - we have a guest staying and that cramps our stlye. IYKWIM

AP stands for Aunt Flo. In the US they use AF in the UK AP.

What does tx stand for?
SisterC


----------



## soni

Salam SisterC,
Tx stands for treatment!!!!

Hope u all are well.

Love,
Soni


----------



## Maarias

Salam ladies,
Just checking in to say I'm still around and slowly going crazy      - OTD is friday, but I might do a sneaky one tomorrow - mainly so I can plan my coming weeks   - I am planning on getting a kitten as a baby substitue which I think ds will LOVE as well... 

Talking of kittens, KP it's good to see you back - where have you been?!?

Snowebelle - big hugs to you     

I think it's AF by the way in the UK as well - I think AP might have been a typo - and it stands for Aunt Flo...

Mx


----------



## KittenPaws

Thank you! Ive been sick and off work for 2 and half month (became a puking machine!) was in hospital for a bit to help rehydrate me and stop vomiting, returned to work last week. Alhamdulillah all is well so far. 

Oh kittens are beautiful. I got one in nov 06 and he is beautiful! A pure white long hair thats just beautiful. Hes such a lovable cat, he really cheers me up when im down and is great company when he snuggles up on your feet an night!


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum w'r'w'b dear sisters...



I'm new, i have been lurking for a while, and thought today i Will say salams!

Its nice to have a support group for people who are finding ttc hard mashAllah. I have been speaking with other members on the other boards a lovely bunch mashAllah.

I guess my signature says it all.....like all of you on here i am in need of duas too.... 

Talking of kittens ....i would love one, but we live in a flat and DH and I think it would be cruel to leave it at home on its own all day as we both work. InshAllah if we ever get a house thats the first thing i would get inshAllah.... lol lol lol

I am thinking and praying for you all.

Love and duas


----------



## soni

Welcome Godswill  !!!!

Maarias,I am praying for u  

KittenPaws, hope u r well today!!!

Iman01, when r u testing 

Fazworld, enjoy ur hols!!!!

Snowbelle,hope things have sorted and u r little bit relieved 

love,
Me.


----------



## Iman01

Salaam Soni,

I am testing on 24 August-16 days after ET

It's still quite a wait-driving me mad! Keep analysing every twinge-had few af symptoms for last few days. Bad cramps especially on Monday-don't really know what to think to be honest.

Maarias-praying for you. 

Hope everyone else is well-take care

Iman01x


----------



## Maarias

Hi ladies,
Thanks for praying for me - tbh I've kind of resigned myself to another bfn - and am seriously tempted not to consider testing at all -  

I will try and update but please don't be offended if I don't do it straight away as I think I'm feeling a bit 'tx exhaustion' -both physical and mental - I'm actually desperate to get moving again, not used to not doing any form of exercise at all...

We have a fab frostie on ice so I'll go back once I've spoken to the Lister about how to change my protocol - so something's going to have to change as steroids alone are not working for me - possibly IVIG? I'm petrified of going down this route though  . I think a part of me has seriously started to think that I just need to stop and appreciate what I've got going in my life, and stop putting my body under all this strain - maybe it's just time to stop...

Sorry for rambling ladies,
Mariax


----------



## soni

Maarias,

You've come sooooooo far with all of this and I understand ur anxiety.Please don't feel pressurised about letting us know about the outcome.Take your time hun  .

I can see that u have already started to think about the future.don't get stuck on it though as we can't see it and can't plan it according to our will!!!!!Just concentrate on present which is that u r PUPO !!!!!!!  .your frozen embie will be ur third child Insha'Allah!!!!!

I really don't know what to say anymore. although I've been through it all it's still feel very odd to keep thinking positive when u r not sure about it IYKWIM!!!!I am thinking and praying for u.

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum sisters...

Maarias.....   its natural to feel the way ur feeling, your body has gone through soo much and to be honest all this ttc can have its toll....sometimes our body plays tricks on us and one cant help but feel hope....inshAllah you will get through the blues and will be back to ur positive self inshAllah. 
You have come a long way mashAllah....Allah is just and His promise is true.....after hardship definitely comes ease hun...(i know youknow all this....i know i always need reminding  )

We will get what we deserve, may He grant us the taufeeq to accept what is decreed for us all....Ameen

Jumua tomorrow ...yipppeeee (A reminder to me first then to you all) there is an hour in Jumua most scholars say it is the hour before maghrib to make dua and Allah will grant our duas...i will be thinking of you all.

Love and   to you all


----------



## Maarias

Godswill,
Thank you for the sweet post: I have really been only asking for one thing in all my prayers which is the strength and patience to accept everything that comes our way - anything else I think would really jsut be too selfish...
Mx


----------



## Maarias

A small update from me: 
I have a BFP !!!- yes I can't quite believe it myself and I'm absolutely petriefied as other than lots of twinging I have no other symptoms - no implantation bleeding either which I've always had previously  but anyway, as I've now done three pee sticks since yesterday I guess it must be true  

Jumma mubarak to all my lovely sisters.
Mx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom everybody
Thanks R4K.

This whole TTC business is ruining my marriage. I am like a Banshee on Clomid and am a right ***** if things don't go my way. I have even got violent with dh. Dh won't talk to me (which drives me nuts) and I only got him to BD twice since I said I wanted my rights or I wanted a divorce. So he came on board the plan for about 2 days. I was due to Ov ON Mon or Tues and couldn't get him to co-operate. I have to go into the clinic in the morning for another US to see if I did ovulate and then I have a Day 21 Blood Progesterone test on Monday.

I am trying to make dh understand that if only 0.5mls of semen is reaching me and the rest is going into his bladder that we should try to BD every day. The doctor said every 2nd day but dh is just not interested. He used to withhold my conjugal rights as a way of controlling me - he is very much into being the dominant person in every relationship not just the marriage.

I did not marry him for love. I was already muslim and he approached the Sheikh and asked to meet me with a view to marriage. We met twice in the Sheikh's office and got married. He would have no problem taking a second wife if he wanted one, and I am entitled to have children Islamically, so if he is not going to co-operate I am entitled to a divorce. The main problem is that I love him now and I want HIS babies not someone else's. Also I'm 40 and fat so I might not find another husband. He says I can have my divorce but he is not doing anything he doesn't want to.

I suppose I need lots of sabr and insha Allah when his SA is repeated maybe he will come with me to see the consultant so that the doctor can explain to him what we need to do. I never can get him to come into the hospital - he brings me but waits outside so he can smoke. 

Dh seems to be sick of the sight of me and is always being alone - playing with the computer or sleeping when he is not working. He only speaks to me when we have work to do - I help in his business. I was so angry the other day that I would quite happily have taken a knife, cut him open, take what is needed and do the whole conception thing myself! I am supposed to be studying but am not - my whole life is centred around TTC and the dates for appointments, for OV, etc.

PS I have just had my final US scan - they are not going to continue follicle tracking because everything is in order and alhamdililah I am ovulating. Now just my 21 day progesterone bloods on Monday, Dh's SA the following Tuesday and insha Allah we can get back to normal. When the midwife said I don't have to come back I felt as if a huge weight that I didn't realize I was carrying was lifted off me. I want to cry with relief. Dh is still angry with me though. I am not allowed to talk. I don't know how I am going to get round him on this. Please make du'a that I haven't wrecked my marriage and that we conceive.

SisterC


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## DreamTeam

Maarias Congratulations  !!! Definitely Jumma mubarik in this room and time to have a party                , its been a while since we had a  BFP! I'm so pleased for you! Alhumdulilah its brilliant! Inshallah your new bambino will grow and arrive safely!Seeing your earlier post, really seems to highlight the concept that Allah(swt) only puts down the challenges that we can cope with. Alhumdulilah, waking up this morning feeling very fed up of the whole TTC this has motivated me and given some encouragement!

Salams everyone!  
Inshallah I am to have my operation on Wednesday. Please pray that all goes well and that I recover quickly and that they don't touch my poor foot, which alhumdulilah is making good progress. I am down to one crutch at the moment and go for short walks with no crutches - its all very exciting! 

Soni - See I'm not hanging to on Jack and Jill...just Jack! Thanks for listening to me grumble this week!

SisterC -   It sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment. The whole process of TTC is horrible. It puts great strains on all relationships. Inshallah, Allah(swt) gives you the strength to get through this period regardless of the outcome and gives you the strength and the patience to make the right decision for you. I really hope and pray that there are people around you who can look after you and inshallah we are all here to listen to you . Inshallah, we will all be blessed with happy healthy children.

Inshallah lots of love and duas for everyone  

love

Snowbelle

PS
A longer message later, I need to go look for a photo machine!


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## Godswill

Me again....

hope you dnt mind me posting these....a reminder.

A dua Zakariya made to Allah S 3:V38

رَبِّ هَبْ لِى مِن لَّدُنْكَ 
ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً
إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَآءِ
(O my Lord! Grant me from Ladunka,) from You,

(A good offspring) meaning, a righteous offspring,

You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation.)


Also Sura Furqan verse 76

And those who submit, 'O Our Lord', grant us from our lives and offspring the coolness of eyes and make us the leader of those who guard themselves against evil. 

Take care sisters...

Fiamanilah

ps sister Maarias, i strongly recommend you read surah Maariam (You probably already are)....beautiful meaning, they say those that are pregnant read surah Mariam...  

I hope i am not coming across all preachy....please dnt take it that way....i always need reminding so thought I'd share it with you guys!!

Love and duas


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom all

Snowbelle and Godswill barak Allah Fiqh - This is what I need. I did my istikara before I asked for the divorce. Dh will give it if I want. But I don't want it. I 'want everything to be right between us but it is not.

The mood swings I'm having with Clomid are really taking their toll. I said I'm sorry he says it's too late. I say it's the Clomid and he doesn't believe me. He says I just want to fight. Of course I wanted to fight when I was OVing and he was witholding sex as punishment for mood swings. I hate tll this control freak behaviour. On the bright side here's what I wrote earlier to the BBC TTC board
"I was just dying to get to the computer and tell you all. At my US scan this morning (the 4th month) I was told I don't have to come back at all as everything is in order alhamdililah (thank God).

I didn't even realize it but I must have been carrying a big weight, because it just lifted off me when the midwife told me. Also I have had 4 months tracking and they normally only do 3.

Now just have to go back for day 21 progesterone bloods on Monday and that's me finished with the clinic for a few months. I can't tell you how relieved I am. Maybe now I can turn my attention to my marriage which has really suffered from the stress and the Clomid mood swings. So Tuesday week dh gets his second SA done and we the the HARI consultant in another 2 months. I will be staying on Clomid but as I won't know when I am oving I have to get dh sorted out so that he will BD every second day from day 11 on.

He is still not speaking to me. He says all I want to do is fight and he just wants me to leave him alone. Sort of the opposite of Sian and Craig. Insha Allah (with the will of God) everything will sort itself out for you two as well.

I feel like crying my eyes out with relief and treating myself to a fabulous bunch of flowers I saw in the local florist's on the way home.

Helen - I didn't go to WW this week and God knows how much weight I will have put on next week. I have made myself sick - I have eaten a whole packet and a half of Chocolate digestive biscuits and my body is so unused to fat and sugar that I am in agony with cramps. Serves me right. Remember the feeling when you were a kid at Christmas or Easter and you got sick from eating chocolate - well it's even worse than that.

Where is BBT? Her posts always bring a smile to my face.

McMoo - I am totally confused by your other posts today, but maybe I'm not meant to understand...

I haven't slept all night either - didn't want to miss the hospital and was playing Age of Empires and just stayed at it all night!

Thats all my news. I plan on trying to get advice re dh from Marriage Guidance people insha Allah.

Has anyone else had their relationship nearly wrecked by this TTC business?

My dh has not even told his mother what is going on and what the true state of play is. People say that men's egos are fragile when it comes to them having a plumbing problem but dh admits that I am entitled to a divorce and he is wlling to give me one, but perversely I don't want it. I want everything to be OK between us again. I want HIS baby not just A baby. This is an emotional rollercoaster and I have been so out of control that I haven't been able to be tactful and think of his feelings.

I haven't been keeping up with the housework and this makes him feel like I do nothing for him and I know that to get him back on speaking terms I need to get all housewifely and show him some TLC but I haven't the energy - I just feel totally drained and lifeless. I so wish he would just give me a hug and forgive me. He says he doesn't want me to be sorry, and that it is too late and I do nothing for him. I'm trying to tell him that there is 2 of us in it but he is not buying it. So I'm having my little cry now as I write this. Maybe it will make me feel better"

I need all your du'as  for me please.
C


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## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sisters and jummah mubarek!

Just popping in - I promised I would stay in touch even though I have no real news!

Maarias - Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ALHAMDULILLAH sis!! I was just thinking the other day that one of us here has to strike gold soon insha'allah by the Grace of Allah swt - looks like you're it! Congratulations! Here's hoping that theres more BFPs to come from this group insha'allah....

Salaams to all sisters and much love and hugs.....snowbelle, thinking of you <hug>

I had a funny cycle this month - OV'd early, and then had spotting for about 5 days after that...which has now turned into AF  ( thought always expected with me, not exactly overjoyed to see her each time she shows her ugly mug). I never get spotting so I googled it ( always a dangerous thing) and actually they said it can sometimes happen when you have polyps. And when I had my HSG they said I had 2 small polps in my uterus - harmless but can sometimes burst and cause a bit of spotting. Anyway the witch is here now....  just hoping she goes away in time for me to enjoy all the BIL's wedding festivities!! you know those tiny handbags you take to weddings, that go with your clothes, shiny and pretty - they are sooooooo not suitable for storing tampax/sanitary pads in!! lol!!!

DH has finished his homeopathic medicine that MIL got from Pakistan and that he took just to humour her ( she has taken our infertility badly) - no changes as far as I know. The clinic in Pakistan has a 99% success rate *apparently* - hmmmmmmmm Im skeptical to say the least but Allah swt does work in mysterious ways... The pills were awful, the ones he took in the mornings looked like rabbit poos and were massive! on holiday he choked on one in the hotel room and I had to do a hiemlich ( sp??) maneouvre on him and he spat it out all over the floor alhamdulillah ( my heart almost stopped for a second when that happened). And the ones he had to take in the afternoons were gold coloured, looked like bits of crayon and smelled of cloves!! eek! Anyway - goodness knows what was in them....Im still making du'a and although I am very skeptical I know Allah swt has the power and mercy to answer our du'a so I don't think I can ever rule it out...despite our medical history and situation and the doctor's words....is that stupid?? I don't know.....to spend the rest of my life thinking just a little bit "maybe......".....

We are trying to find property for the business....things are ok between us. We both realise alhamdulillah that we must not waste time. Im ok most days though MIL still has an uncanny knack of putting her foot in it and her comments usually send me on a downward spiral. Latest one was her talking to me about DH's sperm at a child's first birthday party we went to ( thankfully no-one was nearer enough to hear ) - but hello!! time and place you know!! and then telling me to 'get a move on with adoption' - as if I am stalling and taking ages just to spite her........I just told her in a very calm voice that we had been waiting long enough already and we were doing everything we could.......

soni, KP, faz, r4k, and welcome to Godswill...Im sure I have forgotten someone in which case I am very sorry......

Take care girls

xxxx


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## Fiffi

maarias...Alhamdulillah. I am sooooooo happy for you. May you have a happy and healthy pregnancy..

xxx


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## soni

Salaaam everyone,

Just a quick post .........just wanted to congratulate Maarias for BFP!!!!!Masha'Allah and I am still praying for sticky and growing baby for whole pregnancy!!!!!

Will catch up later with ll of u.

With my love,

Soni


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## soni

Salam Ladies,

Hope u all are well!!!

Godswill, Goodluck with TOTM efforts.It's always hard to act everything is normal when we are in that phase of the cycle atleast for me  .

R4K,good to know that all is well on ur end and DH is fine too.

Fazeeee, where r u?

Iman, hope u enjoyed the wedding,is it over or still going on?

Iman01 not long for u to test as well.Praying for u   

Maarias, Hope u r ok and everthing is cool 

Snowbelle and kittenpaws  

SisterC,I can understand what ur going through at the moment.This TTC journey is very hard and painful.It put huge pressure and strain on our relationships.I am still finding it hard to get back to normal after my last miscarriage and things did get bit out of hand for me tooo as DH stopped talking to me and I felt totally responsible for the whole grief.He started to leave early for work and come home late,once home spending time in front of TVor computer.It really hurt me soooo much and one day I just broke down and told him that there is no point living together like this.We are trying for a child who would share and complete our lives as a couple.Alhumdullilah since then he had taken full 360 degrees turn and has been very supportive and tolerant of me.He later on told me that it waas his way of dealing wih grief as he didn't know how to make things better for us and didn't want to hurt me any more.Even I went to my GP and he said the same thing that men don't like to be pressurized and hey tend to hide their heads in sand at the sight of danger/threat.Since  then I am seeing a counciller to set my priorities out and to learn to deal with my emotions as I don't want anyone of us to be hurt of our behaviours and emotions .All in all what I am trying to say is be strong and give time to ur DH which u already intend to do.He will come back to you.HE needs to be onboard fully with u into all of this otherwise u will be more hurt and lonely.U can have a break from all of this TTC for 2/3 onths and then try again if there is a chance.Please forgive me if I have offended u in any way but I am just sharing my journey wwith u. I hope that everything turns out to be perfect as u have thought and wished for Insha'Allah!!!!

Love,

Soni

Love, Soni


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## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
I'm still here and doing fine -  or truthfully going a bit stir crazy waiting for the first scan - have done more hpts which allconfirm bfp (as well as a beta on otd which was 180 so all good)- so now just waiting for 2 Sept - IA -     - everythign will be ok. 

We are off for a long weekend so may not log on as much, but am thinking of you all  

Sister C - please let us know how you are getting on. I don't really have any pearls of wisdom, although have to say that anger may not be the best way of getting your dh to understand the importance of doing his bit - a softly, softly approach may do the trick better  - I do know how frustrating it is to keep trying month after month without any luck, but perhaps you need to focus for a few months on your relationship on your dh as the most important thing is for that to have a firm foundation. 

Love to all,
mx


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## soni

Salaam All,

R4k,   sister.God knows how many times I have cried my eyes out on hearing such news.The other day me and snowbelle were chatting and she felt the same after hearing her friend's news and I told her that I have always felt that I am the fertility charm for the others as I seem to attract pregnancies and babies for them.She repeated the same to her mum and now she has said that we can be fertility charm for each other and will attract pregnancies for us  .It is hilarious that the month I think little bit positive I hear the news from someone else so who knows whose turn will it be this month!!!!There are plenty of u working hard,Fazworld and Godswill for sure atleast  

Godswill, great to hear that ur DH SA has come back fine Alhumdullilah.   for u

MAarias, Great to know that u r well.........Insha'Allah everything will be well.

SisterC,hope u r well,please keep in touch!!!

Ladies can I ask a little favour todaySnowbelle has gone through her breast suegery today,please pray for her and her speedy recovery !!May Allah grant u all with his blessings,Ameen.

Love,
Soni


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Thank you all for your support. May Allah bless us all with what is best for us, and reward us for the pain we feel along this journey.
I don't really know what to say. Insha Allah everything goes well with snowbelle. I am relieved by some of the posts where other sisters have shared how their dh behaves because that is the area I chiefly need support in. Alhamdililah, I have recently been through some fitnah and it has brought home to me how important the sisterhood is. I don't understand dh - alhamdiliah we seem to be on the mend, but I am not going to be cocky about it. I think I really upset him when I went ballistic when he wouldn't play ball a few weeks ago. Clomid and anxiety to do everything necessary combined and I was really *****y and hysterical. I have told him over and over that I know I was terrible and that I'm sorry. Have been getting on top of 'some' of the housework, and 'some' of the officework. 

The confusing thing is I don't know how or why dh has come round. I had made contact with my Wali the Skeikh and dh said he would go to see him next week - that he wouldn't talk to me but he would talk to Sheikh and I was going inside "alhamdililah, alhamdililah - what a breakthrough" because the fact that he was prepared to talk is so positive. It's still early days but I'm hopeful that insha Allah we can recover. I pointed out to him that I had never heard my father abuse my mother and treat her so disrespectfully and they were not muslim, and I asked him if we should be trying to bring a child into this relationship where it will hear its father use bad language and call its mother bad names.

Yesterday I saw the consultant maxillofacial surgeon and hopefully I will have my operation to remove a cyst from my lower jaw before TTC next month. I was on CD22 so they couldn't take X-rays but I explained about the TTC and how we are attending the clinic and subhan Allah, alhamililah, they are able to fit me in due to a CANCELLATION. I said I'd like to have the operation over with before I'm pregnant BUT I am dreading losing my lower front teeth - I don't want dh to see me like that.

Thanks to all of you for your help and support, may Allah reward you. Please keep me in your du'as as I feel like I am being tested to my very limits. 
Sister C


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## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sisters

how are you?? The wedding is this weekend for my BIL so I am very busy! ( but also got some time off work because of it, hee hee hee 

R4k - totally feel your pain sister. I dont cry easy - usually it takes A LOT to make me cry. But this TTC business has me a snivelling wreck in minutes usually due to someone's misplaced comment or news of another pregnancy. I just found out that 2 more members of DH's family are pregnant. Last 2 years has been a whirlwhind of pregnancies and births ( and now the subsequent babies) and just when I thought it was over - we have 2 more. Masha'allah I am happy for them because it means they don't know and won't know the pain me and DH are going through. But its hard and I dwell on these things more than I should. One of them for instance i had to hear about 4th hand - she gave my new sis-in-law some presents from her baby shower but nothing for me...I wondered why that is. I think her mother knows about our situation since she helped get the homeopathic remedy from Pakistan so I think she knows...and now I feel people are hiding things from me out of pity and talking behind my back...maybe I am thinking too much....the other lady, no-one told me she was PG and it wasnt til I saw her at the Mendhi with a big bump ( havent seen her for a while) that I knew....

There was a time when people's pregnancies just made me happy and then i forgot about them pretty much. Now they carry so much more personal significance and stick in my head for days - even when I dont know the person that well.  And then I feel bad for the way I feel. I feel like the circle of 'marrieds without kids' is getting progressibly smaller and soon it will be only us and everyone will be talking even more than they already do. And with BIL getting married and my MIL's instructions to BIL and new sis-in-law to be pregnant within a year, I am dreading that day too. It is such a whirlwhind of emotions - up and down. Happiness tinged with sadness and then guilt. I wouldnt call it jealousy because jealousy is when someone has something that you want and you don't want them to have it. I DO want them to have it - I just want it too! is that so bad?? 

Anyway I thank Allah swt for this board and ladies like you who know how I am feeling. Whilst I would like that none of you were here ( i.e. you were all up the duff!! lol) I am glad and sad that you are here too. Does that make sense??

Best wishes to all and keep your chins up - Allah swt knows what we are going through and insha'allah we will be rewarded for our struggles. In the meantime lets just lean on one another insha'allah and make our du'a.

Love and du'a

xx


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## DreamTeam

Asalam alaykum Everyone,
Alhumdulilah I had my operation to remove the evil lump from my breast yesterday      although I can't quite manage the banana's moves yet, I definitely feel over the moon. Thanks for all your duas   . Thankyou Soni     Inshallah that is it for me and hospitals - I can't believe how much time I have spent there in 2008. I pray inshallah that Allah(swt) grants everyone health and saves them from these horrible lumps. The removal of my lump is really a case of persistence pays. I really hope you don't mind that I tell you exactly what happened so that Allah(swt)forbid it happens to anyone you push for it to be checked out. Please don't feel shy. 

I can hardly believe that is almost a year ago that I began to see dried up greenish fluid of my nightshirt. Finally in September I went to my doctor who checked my breasts and was unable to see or feel anything. She suggested that it was hormonal and that I should come back if it happened again. In the mean time, I broke my foot and then began stage 1 of our fertility program (2 shots of zoladex and removal of my 'grapefruit' sized fibroid). During that time there was nothing and I happily assumed it had gone. Literally two days after my operation the green fluid began appearing on my nightshirt again. For some reason it very rarely happened during the day. I went back to my GP, who was a man now and things were delayed as he needed a chaperone. Eventually I was seen by the nurse who just touched my breast with her index finger and was (obviously) unable to feel anything. Again I persisted and had the GP see me, who relented on my family history (both my maternal grandmother and mother have had breast cancer). Delays happened and I didn't chase up the matter. Then finally my DH pushed me to chase it up, as the issue would niggle my conscience. When I finally got to the hospital breast clinic, the doctors were (again) unable to feel anything and being young I was not allowed to have a mamogram but he sent me for an ultra sound "just to make me feel better " as there was nothing and because he understood the need to see things as I have BC in my family. Finally the ultra sound date came in May, 2 minutes into the session the radiographer found a hard lump with neat clean edges (suggestive of cancer free, cancer has tentacles). Then confirmation by a core biopsy. My lump was just 3mm below minimum mandatory excision size. I opted to have it removed for personal reasons and they agreed. The day before my operation I had an ultra sound scan again, and it had grown by 3mm. There is no doubt in my mind that getting rid of it has been worth it. 

Alhumdulilah I praise Allah(swt) for enabling to make the right decision to have it removed and most importantly for not giving up on the idea that there was something wrong me. Inshallah I pray for the health of all the sick people, and for the women who have breast ailments and aren't able to bring themselves to acknowledge they have a problem because they feel shy about going to see a male doctor. Inshallah I pray for the women who have breast cancer, for Allah(swt) to ease their suffering.

Alhumdulilah my drugs have arrived (the hospital ones didn't agree with me) so off I go for now!

lots of love and duas for everyone   

love

Snowbelle


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## Iman

Wasalaams Godswill

Will remember her in my du'a insha'allah. Can you let us know the type of guy she is looking for?? Age range?? ethnic background - or no preference?? ummm...any other details? then can bear her in mind insha'allah.

Salaams to all sisters

xx


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## Iman

wasalaams 

ok so someone tall, practicing and in their thirties?? hmm I will keep an eye out!!   ( thats supposed to me looking for her! lol)

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down - as you see from my earlier post I know ( I think we all do!) how you feel...  Your time will come insha'allah  - keep making du'a and remember with every hardship brings relief insha'allah....dont worry about crying, its such an emotional rollercoaster this TTC business and one huge waiting game - its perfectly normal and sometimes you just have to let it out  

Salaams to Snowbelle as well who I hope is resting in bed by now insha'allah!! Let us know how you are!

xx


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## Iman

wasalaams 

ok thats fine - my husband's family and many of my friends are Pakistani so you never know i might 'see' someone! no-one is springing to mind right now but it can't help to bear her in mind insha'allah. 35 isn't old at all - Allah swt lets us each get married at the time that is right for each of us - whether thats 20, 30, 40 or 50! Allah swt knows best and wherever her future husband is I am sure he is worth the wait insha'allah! as you say this is her test...and we all have her tests...Allahu Alim. will remember her in my du'a insha'allah.

Yes wedding is this weekend and Walimah day after insha'allah. Got all my suits ready - and bangles and shoes and scarf. And managed to get DH sorted too - he's so laid back about it all - I've been running to buy him khussa and get his suit to the tailors...lol...what would he do without me?!? lol..Busy busy time - MIL is taking care of most of it and I have managed to not do much - not that I didn't want to but its not my culture ( the wedding and the style) so Im not so sure where to get things or how certain things are done...she doesnt mind anyway I have helped her whenever she asked insha'allah and I think she loves organising it all secretly anyway! I only have 2 wishes for the wedding and walimah insha'allah - no-one is too late ( hmmmmm...might be wishful thinking!) and everyone has a nice time!! ( and the food is good and my sis in law doesnt trip up  - she is a bit paranoid about that! insha'allah she should be fine - I know she is gonna look amazing masha'allah) Oh yeah and I just thought of another wish - that no-one makes any comments to me about babies!!!!!!!!   

Anyway I will let you all know how it goes....I will put pics on ******** if anyone who is friends with me on there wants to see insha'allah...( are you on ********??)

Take care

Wasalaams xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone  

Thank you everyone for your lovely messages, Alhumdulilah I have been spending time between my mum's house and my house with both my mum and DH taking good care of me. Inshallah thats it now for freek ailments and me. I just want to get the nurse to give my wound the all clear next week then DH and I are booking a very very deserved holiday for after ramadan inshallah 

It seems like everyone has been chatting lots and I have lots to catch up on!

Anyway   to everyone

love

Snowbelle


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters
I still haven't got use to the names that go with the different stories , so please be patient with me. 

There is one thing I really feel I have to point out, without intending to cause offence to anyone. At least 3 references have been made to someone being a "charm" for someone else to get pregnant. Sisters this is Shirk which is the only sin Allah does not forgive.   And the hadith about hidden shirk being like a black ant on a black stone in the middle of the desert on a moonless night comes to mind. I'm sure shirk wasn't intended but we must be very careful of it. Allahu Alim.

Snowbelle - I am glad to hear you are coming out of the wars and that people are being kind to you.

One of the things I miss most is kindness and understanding. I keep away from my sisters because I can't hide how I feel very well. so I avoid them. I feel ashamed about my marital problems and I don't want to tell anyone the details of why we haven't been able to conceive. Only one brother knows that there is any problem in my marriage - the others know we are trying for children but not any of the details. My husband was talking bout divorce the same time as he was talking about talking to the Shiekh. He NEVER listens to me properly - he thought I had asked him for a divorce but I hadn't. To be honest though if was in my early 20's I would seek divorce definitely. If anyone wants to know why I'll explain but for now I'll just leave it at that.

I am at my own place down the country away from dh. I am just sleeping and dozing, not doing any housework, eating picnic meals, trying to recharge the batteries and to recover from the rollercoaster I've been on. On the way down here I nearly had a serious car crash - alhamdiliah I regained control at the last minute, but I really thought it was my time. It really frightened me. I feel like I need to stay here for another month just to relax and get things into perspective again - sort of like the Prophet (saws) going off to be in the cave to think and meditate. However, I will have to go back to the city on Monday night to make sure dh does his semen analysis on Tuesday morning. I am so exhausted,with no energy for anything. Make du'a for me please   Does anyone else feel totally exhausted with no motivation for anything?

As for the sister who is unmarried at 35 this is Qadr of Allah. Khadija (ra) was 40 when she married the Prophet (saws) and was mother to his children. He took no other wife while married to Khadija and always remembered her friends. Insha Allah this sister will be similarly blessed. Please give her my salaams and remind her of this. I was married at 33.
SisterC


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## Rizwana

Salaam Srs,  I would really like to share my journey to become a mother with all of you  InshaAllah. Just reading through the topics just brings me to tears and listening to your heartache. I do pray from my heart that Allah grants us all pious children... Ameen 

We have been ttc since 1997, but our dream still awaits InshaAllah, 
In between I was battling with with a sudden chronic illness But Alhamdullilah I have been blessed again with good health and a successful kidney transplant in 2007.
My DH has been diagnosed with a low count and motility problems and we have therfore undergone 1 attempt of IUI, 1 attempt of IVF and recently an attempt of ICSI but sadly they have been unsuccessful. InshaAllah hoping to have a frozen Embryo Transfer very shortly.

I can really do with all your duas, I feel my journey has been long and difficult I anxsciously awaiting for success InshaAllah. 

I have noticed that many of you have attended ARGc I was wondering how much did it cost as I am thinking of attending for my next attempt of ICSI if needed.

Rizwana x


----------



## FazWorld

ASA sisters... I'm back (I did warn you!  )

wow - you girls have been busy while I been away... usually not a peep for days on end.. and as soon as I away for a while and BHAM! 6 pages to read through to get up to speed!!! 

A big huge welcome to all the newbies..   I am the 'Aunty' or 'Baaji' here(by order of age).. Had my 44th birthday whilst away.. I am now a year older than when I left - AH!!! 

SisterC, I fully sympathise with you. Life is not easy being married to a control freak!! I have found that it is easier to manage their ego by being a 'surrendered wife'.. ie yes dear no dear.. sorry to all those that don't agree or have the same problems (lucky you!!).. and yes - it makes me cringe too..   and even when one does that, they simply find other things to complain about anyway  .. but you find that they have less to complain about if they get their own way most of the time! Allah SWA has said that a woman's role is to look after the home and DH, and to be obedient to him. Living in this society has forced us to try and be competitive with them for their role and it makes them feel insecure and hence defensive and hence behave badly if they feel threatened. It is very difficult to do, but I found it helped lots... its hard work as I feel I do everything.. and go to bed shattered, (but thats only cos I work as well - which is not meant to be my role) but at least it is a more peaceful household. MA this week will mark my 16th year of 'bliss'  , and have twin daughters aged 5 to help me through it all.

As for it being your right to have children... unfortunately sister it is not a right as such, since Allah swa decides who does or doesn't have offspring. What is definitely your right is that he be good to you, treat you kindly, and give you your conjugal rights, but (cringe cringe) his rights supercede ours regarding this.. remember if he does anything to hurt you, upset you etc that was unwarranted - Allah swa will be the greater judge of what was right or wrong in the akhira.  And if you grin and bear it that is a kind of charity for which IA you will be rewarded both in this world and the next.

I hope I have offended no-one in my monologue above- especially those sisters in distress, but we can only pray that Allah keep us on the Huq, hear our du'as and do what is best for us and our deen.

On another note, I too have sisters aged 36 and 32 looking for a DH. Pref British Pakistani, not too religious but pious and that way inclined. Pref not previously married, but at this age that quite a rarity. Sisters have not previously married or had any unlicensed liaisons.. pretty, modern and withit out going girls. Please keep your eyes peelied for me or please make du'a for them. In a way, that too is infertility, as they are desperate for kids, as they have many nephews/nieces, but can not have their own as need a DH for that!!! My concern is that their bio clock is ticking, and I don't want them to find out too late they have a prob (IA they don't  ) 

With regards to me and what I been up to, I was on my natural 2ww, which ended a day early by the unexpected arrival of Aunt Flo whilst I up to no good!   - a bit disconcerting! Now my TOTM again, so told DH, next few days (since day 12) is happy time   AH he don't complain unless really tired. He been really good, taking loads a pills, eating lots, complying when he is 'needed' etc.. I'm sure only cos knows how important it is to me and more cos he wants to try and save on the costs of IVF!

We were meant to have gone to Pakistan in Jan 08 for his cousin's wedding, but didn't cos we were having our tx. Well it obv didn't work, but she is due in November with a honeymoon baby!!! Oh well...

Sorry for long chat as been away awhile and once again no offence meant to anyone.
Fazworld


----------



## Maarias

Salaam sister,
Am still here and logging on to see you how all are - you're all my my duas     - IA all your prayers will be answered soon.

Faz Baaji (!) - welcome back - I love reading your posts - they always make me smile - so sensible and down to earth - I don't believe your dh is that bad btw, especially if he's taking all those pills and doing as he's told!  

Snowbelle - I'm not sure if I've posted since I read your news but hope you're recovering well - you've been through such a tough - IA Allah swt will answer your prayers soon.

A big welcome to Rizwana - I think you'll find this site a real life line - it's really kept me sane over the last few years to realise that I'm not the only one going through IF and tx although it does sometimes feel like it in the 'real' world where everyone just seems to fall pregnant at the drop of a hat   I was at ARGC and the cost really varies depending on what kind of treatment you have but starts at around £6K going up to around £10K. I think soni is having tx there at the moment so I'm sure she'll be able to inform you more on this. As you can see from my profile I'm not at ARGC anymore as it didn't really suit me, but it is a very good clinic.

Big hugs to all those I have missed, I am thinking of you all.   

No news from me - IA scan is booked for next week so will find out more then.

Mariax


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## Rizwana

Salaam srs 

Thank you all for your kind and welcoming words.  

Well I had an experience today, I physically had to move my Frozen Embryos from one hospital to another. Alhamdulillah the transition went smoothly. 

Well anyway I'm back to school on Monday with my new Year 2 class and I'm looking forward to being surrounded by children who rely and need me if only for a short time of the day as their teacher ofcourse.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Firstly a big welcome to all the newbies   

Alhumdulilah I am getting there, absolutely shattered since my operation. At the moment managing a whole day awake is quite an achievement! But the best news is that Mr Snowbelle and I have booked a holiday yay  (  ) to Malaysia for after ramadan inshallah. That should be great as it has been a long time coming... infact the last time I went anywhere was when we flew up to see in the inlaws in August last year!!!!! Obviously after that I've been hanging out in the fracture clinic.

Inshallah ramadan starts next week, inshallah we can all benefit from the month and importantly inshallah all our du'as will be answered.

Regarding everyone's sisters/unmarried friends, why the restriction to a prospective husbands racial/cultural background Islam sees no boundaries with regard to race and nationality. I do understand that for some people that is very important but alhumdulilah there are lots of practising converts out there who have good eman, intentions and need to get married to create a muslim family environment. I do particularly remember the day that DH asked me if my parents would mind me marrying someone who wasn't from their background, and then on hearing the response (no), him explaining that people had previously rejected him on the basis on background alone  . Alhumdulilah that was my qadr  .

Much love to everyone 

love
Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salam everyone and hope u are well!!!!

Everything is fine on my end too..............nothing exciting to report   

FAzworld, good to see you back and hopefully u r not tooooooooooooo tired after TOTM  .Good luck!!!

Maarias,still praying for ur scan   

Iman, hope u had fun in wedding.Great photos though, so vibrant and colourful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

R4K, hope u r ok with ur kittens  

Rizwana, welcome to the boards..............I am having treatment at ARGC.Let me know what u what to know as it is still early days for me as well .So far I have only done an initial consultation and blood tests with them.I have no idea about the eact costs but I have been given an estimate of £10,000 but this is the estimate for myself as I have immune problems.If u don't have these issues the cycle can be cheaper.If u have any other questions just PM me and I will help to the best of my knowledge and abilities.

SisterC, hope u r well!!!! 

Snowbelle   to you

Love, Me!!!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams 
Just a quick message for R4K, my mum was on tamoxifen obviously not to improve her swimmers  , but she was very short tempered when she was on it and very very hot - think all the windows open in the house, heating turned off in december!

Hope that helps

ma salama


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## tamzin14

salaam All

just had a question dont know if any of you will be able to answer, DH has SA and then having it frozen on 17th Sept but really he shoudl be fasting and we are in a real dillema - is this a good enough reason not to fast for him? or can he do his thing and still fast? or shoudl we cancel the appointment and then our consulattion and get on the whole sorry saga of the waiting list again - i really dont think i could cope with that at all - any advice woudl eb much apprecaited xxxx

DH feels he shoudl fast and cancel ( i will kill him and be a nightmare to live with if we go on waiting list for it again after finally getting an appointment) then at the same time i dont wnat to do the wrong thing coz feel i wont be blessed with a child if i do the wrong thing please help its drving me insane..........

Many thanks in advance


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## FazWorld

ASA,

Sister Tamzin, the main issue here is - why is the SA being frozen anyway.. is it a necessity.. some fatwas from scholars say that neither SA nor eggs nor embryos should be frozen for fear of mix-up etc. However, with regards to eggs, maybe the woman is unwell and needs to preserve her eggs for later use, with regards to the embryos, it is a traumatic experience to go through and if the embryos are really good then one wants to preserve them. I assume that there is such an excuse for the SA also.. sorry not being nosey, pushy or holier-than-thou.. just sharing what I know to be allowed or not. I also wanted to freeze embryos, but it was Allah swa's will that they were never good enuf! And maybe at my age I should try freezing my eggs..! 

The other point then is, can't your hubby produce the SA before Fajr and race to the hospital to get it frozen? Regardless of the time of your appointment? That way, you get the SA done and he can fast as well.. otherwise you could always explain the situation to the hosp, and ask if postponing meant going back on waiting list. They might say no. If they say yes then maybe it might be a valid excuse. However this might help you http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/2571.. ie here they say, the fast is broken at the time of ejac, but a man should continue to fast and then also make it up at a later date. Expiation is not required (apparently) for manual stim! 

Maarias, congrats on your BFP, and IA  for a good scan next week.

SisterC, re your question about feeling lethargic etc.. I feel like that. Not sure if that might be due to my being on the go from 7am till about 11pm... but something I would recommend you get checked out is your blood iron levels and your vitamin D levels. Lack of either/both of these are said to cause lethargy and tiredness... I apparently am suffering from a lack of both and so am currently taking supplements by order of my doctor.

IA speak to you all in Ramadhan so Ramadhan Mubarak to you all. 
Fazworld

/links


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## soni

Dear Tamzin,

I don't know if it helps but if you are having treatment privately you can explain your situation and get your SA+freezing of the sample tomorrow or day after as I have found them very understanding in all these issues and so far my clinic has helped me a lot in special circumstances.Try and give them a call and it all can be arranged but if u r under NHS then it's a different story but again u can call them and explain the situation.I am sure they will help you and will find a way for u.  .

Love,

Soni


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## SisterC

FazWorld said:


> Asalam alaikom dear sisters
> 
> "Auntie" Faz I think all muslim wives should strive to be a 'surrendered wife'...if we are being true to the Sunnah. (I do not mean a doormat or an abused woman but one who can keep from Nushooz on every level and who gives her husband ALL of his rights, bearing in mind the hadith that even if we licked the pus from our husband's wounds we would STILL not have given them their rights) Alhamdililah, my husband never has physically hurt me and I am very sorry if it appeared that he had . Audhu Billah.
> 
> Jezach Allah Khair for the following correction "As for it being your right to have children... unfortunately sister it is not a right as such, since Allah swa decides who does or doesn't have offspring." I meant the right to have conjugal rights IYKWIM.
> 
> You know sisters stress has a lot to do with my marital troubles. Alhamdililah, insha Allah my dh has found the means to pay this month's rent and he has totally changed since this. I think it is possible that my Wali spoke to him on the phone because the change was SO dramatic. Masha Allah, I am ready to cry with gratitude to Allah. I have been feeling so good and blessed alhamdililah. Dh cooked for me and waited on me yesterday, and said "let me serve you" and today he washed the dishes. I think he is pleased because I have been doing the office work. Then because I felt good I fixed up the bedroom and got all dressed up and alhamdililah just felt GOOD! When dh is treating me badly it is usually because he is feeling bad about money and his responsibilities but I forget because all I am aware of is that he is being unkind to me. Make du'a that I become a better wife and that the marriage becomes a better place to bring a child into.
> 
> Subhan Allah this is really a roller coaster. I have gone from having no energy to being hyper. I don't know if I told you before but I have bipolar disorder and I am a bit manic now but I am really emotional too, which is a side effect of the Clomid.
> 
> It is coming up to the start of the school year and I tutor students. I love teaching and studying. I have classes lined up to teach and a course to study and alhamdililah the stimulation I get from this is amazing. I also feel relieved that I do not have to do any more US and insha Allah next week the GP will sort out some meds for dh's retrograde ejaculation. Also it will be Ramadan and all the Shaitians will be chained up. Wouldn't it be wonderful to conceive in Ramadan? May Allah bless us all this way. AMIN.
> 
> I have a cyst in my lower jaw and insha Allah it will be removed on CD12 just before I OV again but it is a very close shave timewise. Today is CD33 and AF should appear today. (I did a HPT and got a BFN.) I was seen by the surgeon on CD22 but they could not take an X-ray because I didn't know if I was PG or not. The removal of the cyst will result in the loss of at least 2 of my lower front teeth and I will have to get dentures. I am dreading this. I do not want dh to see me like that - with missing teeth. Also I don't want my students to see me either. I will probably end up wearing niqab all the time, even at home with dh ! Make du'a for me please
> 
> For the sister who is asking for advice regarding her dh having his sperm frozen but who wants to fast I would respectfully suggest that you need a specific fatwa for your specific circumstances and you would probably benefit by getting in touch with a well respected Sheikh. Even call one on Islam Channel on the IslamiQA program. if you need the direct number let me know and I will post it.
> 
> I am looking forward to Ramadan.  When I first reverted I did not understand how anyone could look forward to such a difficult month, now I know the benefits and blessings and I hope insha Allah I will be able to fast as much as possible this year. Normally I can't do the full fast because of my meds but everything this year has been so different to any thing in my life before attending the HART clinic.
> 
> Sorry for writing so much - it just kept coming out of me. May Allah bless me, dh and all of you now and in Ramadan. AMIN
> 
> Subhanaka Allah wa be hamdi. Ashadu anla illaha illa ant. Astaghferooka wa atooba ilaika.
> 
> Love
> C


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## SisterC

asalam alaikom sisters
Thanks rk4. Subhan Allah I am like a bouncing ball - today I  have been crying for no reason, then comfort eating and feeling really hungry, and now feeling really full. But I didn't get angry last week. Today is CD33 and no AF, no PMS anger but being "nooshy" and needy and emotional. Thanks to you all for being there and please keep me in your du'as. 
C


----------



## DreamTeam

Asalam alaykum Everyone,

Ramadan kareem, and ramadan mubarik everyone, inshallah in London ramadan starts on Monday   . 

Inshallah all our fasts will be accepted and Allah (swt) will ease the pain of those who are suffering and those who are sick, Allah(swt) will quench the thirst of those who are thirsty and those who are hungry. Inshallah please pray for the innocent children who are without families this ramadan, who may have lost their parents and who need love and care, may Allah(swt) grant them the families that they deserve. Inshallah we are all blessed with our children. Ameen.

Not much else to say, just that I am very excited about everything this ramadan! In terms of treatment and stuff, I have taken the decision to have my HSG this month (if I get an appointment), as it has already been delayed. With regards to my hydrotherapy treatment  I will be having that too this month, I have found that with the set backs (due to my operation on my bust delayed) my foot is very stiff and sore. I was umming and ahhing and finally realised I had to reach a decision. Inshallah  I will make up the fasts I make up on account of hydro/HSG. Inshallah we only walk in our own shoes and we only know the decisions that we have to make. May Allah(swt) guide us to the right decision.

Faz-iiiii-world - Hope you are managing to get DH to play  ball   and inshallah by Eid we get some BFP!!! <- That goes for everyone!
And do tell us some more stories of your little ones, they sound so funny!

Soni   coool to see you guys the other day!

SisterC hang in there. It just sounds like there is so much going on, inshallah maybe you just need to break it down and deal with a bit at a time.  

R4K, godswill, Rizwana,  

Maarias -  you take care of your cargo 

Lots of love for everyone

love
Snowbelle


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## soni

Dear All,

Just a quick one to say that Ramadan Mubarak everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Make Allah SWT shower his blessings on all of us..........Ameen.

Take care everyone and speak soooooooon.

Snowbelle............it was cooooooooooooooool to meet u both as well!!!!!!!!!!!We wants  to meet /see u both soooooooooooon again  .

Love,

Soni


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## SisterC

Salam sisters

Well r4k AF arrived last night, so starting month 5 Clomid. Insha Allah will still TTC even though it will be Ramadan. Emotionally feel good. Slept all day until 7pm!!! so have a massive "hang-over" head-ache.

Keep me in your du'as please.

Love 
C


----------



## Fiffi

Just want to wish Ramadan Mubaarak to everyone. May Allah SWT answers all our prayers during this blessed month

Farah
x


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## Guest

RAMADAN GREETINGS 

May this forthcoming month of Ramadan serve as an inspirational 
period during which we are able to reconnect with our Creator, 
and strengthen our belief and consciousness of Allah (swt). We 
pray that Allah enables us to derive maximum benefit from this 
blessed month - a month that we might not live to experience 
again. We ask Allah that He accepts all our fasting, prayers, 
du'a, dhikr and repentance. Ramadan Kareem!


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## soni

Salam All,

Just wanted to say good luck to Godswill for her gynae appointment and Maarias for her first scan today!!!!!!  .Hope u both have some good news to share with us!!!!!  

Love,
Soni


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## Maarias

Salams ladies,
Ramadan Mubarak to all my lovely sisters!
I just wanted to update: AH I am sooo pleased to report that we saw one flickering little hearbeat today - honestly I'm   as I'm writing this, but just wanted to share my news with you all, as you've all been on this journey with me.

I will do personals soon, I am keeping up with all your news - may Allah SWT see fit to give us more bfps in this truly blessed month.

Mx


----------



## soni

Salam Sisters,

Alhumdullilah Maarias, all went went.....  I am sooooooooooo pleased for u now rest and enjoy ur pregnancy!!!!

Godswill, Alhumdullilah ur apptt went well toooooooooooo  Who knows it might be ur turn next Insha'Allah .

Rest of the gang,hope u all are well and enjoying sehari and iftari.........shall we share some recepies??just a thought 

Soni


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## KittenPaws

Ramadhan Karim beautiful sisters,

May Allah bless us all this month and may our duas all be accepted. Ameen

Maarias im so pleased for you Alhamdulillah all is well. I pray that you have a healthy pregnancy and the birth of a beautiful healthy baby soon. 

Im not sure where everyone is at in terms of ttc, tx etc but i hope everyone is doing ok. 

Missed you guys

xoxo KP


----------



## Iman

Ramadan Mubarek everyone!!!!!!!!

Assalaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa baraktahu everyone

So sorry dropped off the radar for a bit, what with BIL's wedding ( which went fabulously masha'allah) and Ramadan beginning yesterday been so busy!

How is everyone?? Alhamdulillah my fasting is going well hope everyone's is too. I was looking forward to Ramadan as a whole alhamdulillah but kind of dreading the first few days too as its such long fast ( about 15 hours I think?) and those few days when your body adjusts but have to say alhamdulillah, it has been fine for me. 

Only thing I have to make more efforts on is keeping my cool in those last few hours with DH. Fasting at work is ok but I do get a bit irritable towards the end of the fast and poor DH gets snapped at a bit when I come home, lol, so need to keep my tongue even firmer clamped....

No real news from me, just trying to find a property for the business. Alhamdulillah things going well and looking positive but has proven a bit more complicated then we thought...pls make du'a it works out. Dh will probably be handing his notice in at work soon as he has had enough and feels they are out to get him and stitch him up....so we might be short of cash for a few months...eeek...pls make du'a all works out ok.

Anyway will pop in again soo insha'allah....try and read some Qur;an now and turn off Big Brother! ( yes I know its an awful programme but its got me....must resist!!)

May Allah swt bless us all with his infinite mercy and blessings and accept all our ibadah at this wonderful time

xx


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## DreamTeam

Asalam alaykum Everyone,
Inshallah everyone is ok and taking fasting in their stride. Alhumdulilah I managed the first few days fine and since then I've had a lot of problems in my foot and have not been feeling great   so have not been fasting  . I'm also getting quite stressed thinking about AF as it has not come yet. Sadly no chance of  a BFP, as the start of the cycle DH and I weren't up to much in anticipation of my operation  and the ovulation date was the operation and obviously since then I've not been well enough. But I'd so like to see the awful thing (today before 4pm inshallah) so that I can book my HSG. Otherwise I will have less chance of getting an appointment because of days taken up by the weekend etc etc, oh the cycle of worrying! So yes me and TTC, is just waiting for my AF so I can book my HSG!

R4K - 10 days is a long AF, I had AF that long when I had my fibroid... have they looked at your insides? It transpired that my fibroid was making mine longer and longer but like you I started with a longer bleed. Alhumdulilah my current bleeds are averaging at about 5 days - yes I regained about 3/4 days a month!!!

Iman and KP   so glad that you guys are still around, inshallah we'll have to meet up again after Ramadan

Soni - thanks for my dial-a-physio service 

Much love and duas for everyone I've not mentioned  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams,
Just a quick one for R4K, viz:

I think its worth chasing it up. I went for years wondering why my AF was so long. I honestly wish I had got years married earlier so that I would have been TTC and therefore thought about things being wrong. As I was not married and not thinking about my insides not once did I ever question why my AF was soooo long/heavy/painful etc. I mean I just quite literally thought thats my deal plus you don't really want to confront things. In your position I would definitely ask them to look into it. Remember a lot of the times when you see the hospital doctors they don't always think of things themselves, you need to direct their thought process AND there is nothing wrong in that! Also all the pictures/tests are only a picture of things at one point in time, just because things come back clear at one stage doesn't mean that things can't develop later. That sounds a bit negative but its more to get you to ask them to look into things.

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

R4k, 
Sorry honey  , but clots are a major indication of fibroids  but it could be anything else. The normal theory with fibroids is that the fibroid bleeds at any random point in your cycle and (TMI) sex is painful. I didn't suffer from either of those. What I did have though was clots (only the last year and a bit, AND the best bit of news is that you can get meds to reduce the clots/pain/gushing/flooding so that life is 'ok') and, I also had my cycles cut short due to the time frame that I was bleeding. For me I'd have my AF and almost like a 2nd AF straight away which was like clockwork and not a textbook fibroid. Definitely look into fibroids on the internet, some of the information is scary (but thats like everything on this road) but alhumdulilah there are lots of success stories out there of women who've had fibroids and then gone on to have healthy babies  .  

When is your next appointment at the hospital? It could be worth going to see your GP to discuss medication for heavy bleeding and the clots and maybe they can get some scans done to check you out before your appointment. Also get them to check your iron levels. At the very least it will make your life easier in terms of the clots. I have to say I don't know how you've managed to stay so calm for so long after clots (3 years you said?), the first time it happened to me was after we had a car accident and the next day I went to gynie A and E I thought I had miscarried or something!

I feel as if I've put a dampner onyour evening, khair inshallah. Inshallah I'm totally wrong and it can be sorted out quickly but it is worth investigating with direction.

Much love

Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Salams
R4K, December is a while away please go and see your GP and get him/her to prescribe you some transameic acid and some mefanamic acid to help reduce the clots and stem the flow. I promise you'll actually be able to make it out of bed!

lots of love  

Snowbelle


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## FazWorld

ASA all,

Isn't Ramadhan going fast? Alhumdolillah, already nearly half way through! I managed 7, before AF turned up 3 days early unexpectedly. I was SO shocked, I sat there for a good few seconds thinking 'What the ...?' before I realized  . Luckily it was at Sehri time, before breakfast. I hate doing part of the fast and then finding out later it was all for nothing! I made DH breakfast and climbed back into bed!

Mine usually lasts 8-9 days.. majority of it is just a cleanup tho which just makes it worse   as it seems a waste when we have to make them up after wards when the rest of the world has finished. I try to make mine up asap whilst DH doing his 6 Shawwal ones..  

I have read that the max days is 15 for AF and 40 days for nifas (or less of course), after which time, you can assume it is not that anymore and start to pray/fast and in fact after which I believe it becomes obligatory again.

I have been feeling really down these past few days since AF appeared. I did expect her to turn up, but family are doing loads of iftaari parties to which obviously they bring their entire Masha Allah ever bulging broods. Currently there are 4 under 1 year olds.. I love playing with them.. but it just makes me sad for me.. I just don't think it will happen again for me. I am thinking of having tx after Ramadhan Insha Allah, but just know how gutted I will feel if it is BFN again, as this really is my LAST chance. DH thinks its a waste even now.  

I feel I am being SO naa-shukar (non-thankful) to Allah for my two beautiful girls. They started big school this week and are growing up so fast. One of them was crying yesterday cos she doesn't want to grow up, but knows its inevitable. She wants to be a baby again. I just want one more chance at it. But the clock is ticking sooo loud now I feel I can almost hear it.. tick tock..tick tock... 
Maarias, did you say that you were near abouts my age (44) and managed a BFP (Masha Allah)? I just need some encouragement that I am not chasing a rainbow at my age. The success rate is only 10% at this age, and as DH put it, if it failed last time, what is so diff now except even less chance?  

Sorry for the downer...May Allah Grant us all our du'as... Remember ladies, Allah SWA hears the prayer of the fasting person most just before opening iftaar.. so pray then, and if you have time, energy and inclination, please pray for me and all other sisters/couples in our same state, that we get our hearts desire..Ameeen.    

Jazak Allah Khair.
Fazworld


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  ,
Inshallah everyone is keeping strong and the fasts are passing with ease.

Alhumdulilah my AF finally arrived which means that I was (finally) able to book my HSG for a couple of weeks.  I had a stasi style nurse of the phone who couldn't understand why I had delayed it so long before booking it, if I was told to get it done in July. Obviously then I had to explain the whole story   but its all good, so inshallah we are on our way to somewhere - clean tubes at the very least!
Other than that nada to report, just had our first holiday injection so we are one step closer to going - yay!

Faz-zi-world:   hang in there hun, have you read Fifi's story Alhumdulilah she was blessed with little girl after being married for something like 17 years! Wow. My own Khala (aunt) conceived my cousin naturally at the age of 45, and my uncle's wife (both childless) a child at 50 - when everyone around them were getting ready for grandchildren! Then don't forget the stories Ibraheem and his wife (I think)who had a child very late in life. In surah 11, v 69-73 the angel says "do you wonder at the decree of Allah?", AND more than anything we know for a fact, that it is will of Allah(swt) Above all of that you conceived 4 years ago, which for starters means that you CAN do it (Go fazzie!   Go fazzie!   Go fazzie!  !!!!) Alhumdulilah, we have the biggest blessing around us right now, which is that we are in the wonderful month of Ramadan which means (inshallah), Allah (swt) hears us. 

Much love and duas for everyone   stay positive   

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA 

My sister sent me this. I do not know the authenticity of it, but it is said to be a hadith and I wanted to share it with you - please remember me in your du'as. 

******************************
Once Moosa (AS) asked Allah subahanathaála: o Allah! You have granted me the honor and privilege of talking to you directly, Have you given this privilege to any other person? 

Allah taa’la replied, O Moosa during the last period I am going to send an ummat, who will be the ummat of Prophet Muhammad (SAW) with dry lips, parched tongues, emaciated body with eyes sunken deep into their sockets, with livers dry and stomach suffering the pangs of hunger- will call out to  me in dua they will be much much closer to me than you. O Moosa! While you speak to me there are 70000 veils between you and me but at the time of ifthaar there will not be a single veil between me and the fasting ummati of Mohamed (SAW), 

O Moosa I have taken upon myself the responsibility that at the time of ifthaar I will never refuse the dua of a fasting person.
******************************

I sit down with my kids five mins before iftaar, we read surah Al Fatiha, and any others they want and then I tell them to hold their hands in du'a and ask Allah (SWA) for anything they want - they usually ask for Barbie dolls!  

I hope Insha Allah that it teaches them that Allah SWA is the giver of all things anyway, but also the sanctity of these moments, of drawing to an end of the fast -even tho they not fasting, and most of all to be thankful to Allah for all that they have.  

ASA
Fazworld


----------



## Tokii

Ramadan Mubarak Ladies,

I haven't really posted on this thread in a long time.

Faz, that was very sweet of you putting that message about praying before iftaar.What about those who are not fasting because circumstances can't make them fast. I've been urging DH to pray just before iftaar as well. I can't fast because I'm on medication and besides on my 2ww. I feel so miserable because I've fasted since I was 11 but Allah knows better.

May Allah accept our ibadah, prayers and guide us and our families through out this holy month (Amin)


----------



## FazWorld

asa 

Tokii - welcome back!

Sister, I do not mean to judge, but I am not sure if being on 2WW is sufficient to lift the obligation of fasting during Ramadhan. Also if on medication, if that medication can be taken outside of the fasting hours, then I believe fasting is obligatory upon you unless you are so sick that it will harm you to fast.

I have delayed my TX till after Ramadhan so that I would not find myself in your same tricky situation,tho I do understand that people's situations may be different and not so controllable. Remember sister that during the 2WW, Allah SWA has provided the embryo with enough nutrition until it is able to feed of the mother - every woman goes throught the 2WW naturally or not before knowing whether she is BFP or not. Also once it attaches itself, there is sufficient nutrition in the placenta for a while. 

Fasting is obligatory on every woman unless she is sick, pregnant, B-Feeding or menstruating/nifas, and technically the 2WW is not pregnant as such.

I apologise if I seem a bit harsh, but please find out for yourself also. We do not want to deprive ourselves of Allah SWA bounty by fooling ourselves that it is OK, if it isn't.

Take care and please do not be offended by my concerns
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone!

Tokii - welcome back, inshallah your 2ww gives you a BFP! 

We need some more on this board - no pressure girlies  !!!  

Me, not been up to much, AF is here so just having a carb fest!! Alhumdulilah today I spent the whole day (so far) without my crutch   , I still can't jump yet but it is a good start! I even managed sainsbury's with all those dangerous trolley drivers (oaps are scary!!) but hey its all good. Inshallah all good practice for the airport etc. Other than that nothing to report, just getting nervous about my HSG and trying not to think about it  

Soni - Hope you haven't moved in full time to ARGC and that you can make it back to computer from time to time

Much love and duas to everyone  

Love 

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salam to all my lovely sisters,

FAzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,   missed you but now u r back!!!Hope u r well and feeling little bit more positive 

Tokiiiiiiiiiii, All the very best for ur 2WW.Insha'Allah u will have ur good news very soon, Ameen  .MAy I ask where abouts are u in surrey.I would love to know as I live in Surrey toooooooo  !!!

Reneeeeeeeee, how r uand how r u feeling?hope Allah will answer ur prayers soon and u will have good news to share with us but as Snowbwelle said no pressure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  .All we can do is to keep trying and praying and keep our faith in ALLAH.

Godswill, how r u??Did u manage to get ur results back??hope all is well.........U are not alone when it comes to TTC.I have tried everything advised during the past seven years from ovulation monitoring to BBT charting , vitamens ,accupuncture, all you could possibly think of but still after being able to concieve still carrying on somehow!!!!!but things have improved a little teeeeeny weeeeeeeny bit recently as I am not having a thermometer in my mouth when I wake up in the AM.I must say I missssss it though and that is the first thought which normally comes to my mind but hey ho   .We will carry on until we feel like it!!!!

Snowbelle,  thanks for listening to my ramble on phone......................I felt sooooooooo much better afterwards.Keep ur spirits up    and MINE TOOOOOOOOOOO 

SisterC,hope u r ok!!!!!! 

Iman, hope all is well on ur end  

Kitten PAws,   to u and to the bump!!!!!!!

Maarias, hope bubs has settled nicely and growing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Any symptoms yet   for u.

Hope I haven't missed anyone.................oh oh fiffi and Sarah love to you and angelic with 3 little angels  

AS u can see Snowbelle,ur wish is my command  .I did try to send this same post twice earlier but lost it both time.Hope it goes through ok now and yes I still have some time to reside in ARGC permanently.Will let u know!!!!!!!!  

Love,

Soni


----------



## soni

Salam Godswill,

I must say that u have taken the news in he best possible way.   and wanted to let u know that u r in my   ^pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salaaam to rest of the gang.Will speak soon Insha'Allah!!!!

Love,

Soni


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum everyone,

Inshallah everyone is hanging in there   - until this evening!!! Alhumdulilah I seem to be getting stronger each day which is all good. This week has been good, as since Thursday I have not used my crutch at all (Soni - see I have dumped Jack and Jill!!!)  obviously I am quite excited about this. I have also switched to using a 'normal' handbag as opposed to my 'strap across' crutch version. So it has been exciting! Alhumdulilah that's Snowbelle chronicles!!! 

Godswill - It never ceases to amaze me how people manage to say the most hurtful things in just a moment. I've noticed with myself, that since we joined the road of TTC I almost stand back from babies and small children. Its not that I don't like them, or I'm incapable its just I don't want to feel the sense of loss once they are gone. As soni will vouch for me, I just grumble every time I hear a baby cry because in my mind its almost as if the baby is going out of its way to say "hello snowbelle I'm here, did you not notice me etc!" Mad I know...But then on other hand when I'm with really good friends and their babies I just can't help myself!!! 

R4K - inshallah will make dua for you .

Inshallah while everyone is making duas for everyone to have babies, inshallah can you please remember to make dua for all the children who don't have families and who need families to inshallah find their families soon. 

Soni Hope you aren't ARGC-d-out!!!  

Much love to everyone
love
Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies,

Godswill, in answer to your question, no, my kids were a result of ICSI Alhumdolillah! I waited 6 years b4 trying, only to find that it wasn't happening. Had 2 failed attempts, then we went for assisted hatching as well, and Masha Allah I almost had 3!!! But then no.3 decided not to have a heartbeat and soon disappeared. So after 10 years I was blessed with my twins. 

I am now wanting a last go at having kids before the bio clock goes 'boom'. Tried in Feb 08, with blastocyst transfer this time, but only one embbie went to blast stage, and only grade D at that.. so I was not surprised when AF showed up before my testdate. I badly want a mahrem for my babies. DH and I won't always be around.. but Allah knows what is best.. and we have to accept it.

BTW, I was made redundant after 9 years service recently. But I too was expecting it as they were trying dirty tactics to get me to leave, guiding me to other roles initialy, then trying to prove incompetance and trying to give me the sack - I was even given a written warning and almost got a second, but Allah swa helped me every step of the way. I prayed to him that I would accept whatever his judgement was, as I knew it would be for my betterment... and Alhumdolillah, it worked out fantastic.. I stumped my employers at every stage, until they finally gave up, ad then gave me redundancy a month later! I practically got a whole years salary out of them by the end of notice period etc...Alhumdolillah!!! 

Found myself a great job, manager is great, learning loads, 30% salary increase, flexible working etc..

Allah swa in his infinite knowledge has his own reasons for putting us through our hardships, and we have always been told to look at those worse off than us .. and be thankful for what we have.. however much or little we have...

Also remember that he only gives as much hardship as he knows we are able to stand.. and will never over burden us. If we believe that, we can get through anything.
No person shall have a burden laid on him greater than he can bear - Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #233

A lovely du'a follows..
"Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error, our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us; our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. - Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #286

Please remember me in your du'as..
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
I'm confused  , why is Faz-ies, listed message different to the Godswills posted quoted message? Yet they are both posted at the same date and time?

Confuseddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA Snowbelle,

I think it must be cos Godswill cropped my quoted message and continued writing her own message within the quotes.. only the dua was a direct quote from my message .. 

Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

Salam Ren....

I know lol lol  will stick to the simple and not try anything new/fancy...lol

I   this is the one for you....when did they say they will call?

I have started registering with agencies....Dh says don't worry about it till Jan/Feb....i don't need to work mashAllah it just gets me out of the house and meet ppl. As when i got married and moved to where i am, the ppl here aren't so friendly compared to London. Plus if i stay home i would go crazy with all this ttc lark. I guess i shall see what happens. Will look if it happens great if not khair.
I want something part time....but cant find anything.

Snowbelle i work for an accountancy firm...i hate it...lol lol lol hence want to get out. I did my BA in it and kind of got stuck. I want to do a pgc in primary school teaching...but the waiting lists are ridiculous.  

Who knows what the future will bring.....whatever it is Allhumdulilah.

Where does everyone live.....it would be nice to meet up for coffee or something....I'm in Slough...i could get to London?


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
Confusion over I am no longer Miss Loco  !!!   Although Godswill I have to say, you had me as I was sat looking at my comp thinking I don't get this at all!!!

Yes I was thinking we should do another meet up after Ramadan and obviously before I go to Malaysia.   Inshallah that would leave the weekend of the 11/10/08 or the weekend of the 19/10/08 (BTW I mean lunch on either the sat or sun of either weekend in London)...any takers  

I am sooooo shattered today, after all that general walking yesterday my leg today is aching  , the worst is I need to build up my muscle before we go on holiday so that I can make the most of things. I really don't fancy having 'rest' days on holiday!!! I could really do without my HSG next week as in my mind I am really scared that they will find something else wrong with me...maybe I need to buy a new body     by the looks of things I am starting to lose the plot ! Its funny everyone saying this that and the other about work, as having done absolutely NADA for the last year (apart from visit the hospital) I feel ready for a new something I just don't know what it will turn out to be!

Much love to everyone   

love
Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Well I guess I need to figure out how to put a poll up for our next meet!!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Ok the poll is up and running!!!


----------



## Iman

salaams ladies

how is everyone? lots of chat I see! I have voted on the poll - would be lovely to meet up!

Im stuffed right now - just had kebabs, chicken tikka and keema naan and biryani and salad and juice!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm can't move..........and I wasnt even fasting today ( AF in residence grr) 



no real news from me really. had a few tough days with friend's baby and pregnancy talk and others confiding in me about possible pregnancies that they aren't happy about     ( whether is PG remains to be seen yet) but alhamdulillah im feeling better now........

still trying to do business  - this bloomin recession nonsense has so come at the wrong time! how inconsiderate!!  

xx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA,



FazWorld said:


> Fasting is obligatory on every woman unless she is sick, pregnant, B-Feeding or menstruating/nifas, and technically the 2WW is not pregnant as such.
> 
> I apologise if I seem a bit harsh, but please find out for yourself also. We do not want to deprive ourselves of Allah SWA bounty by fooling ourselves that it is OK, if it isn't.


It has been brought to my attention, that sometimes the way I come across is a little harsh and insensitive and very judgmental. I wish to apologise to anyone who thought I may have been patronising and judgemental in both the above posting and in any other previous or future posting. I would blame it on email/chat speak having no soul and hence not carrying the feelings and emotions I felt when typing. However, maybe my choice of words need to be looked at.. or maybe I should just 

I would like to assure you all that, like you, I have a love of Allah and wish to do as he commands.. and so am constantly in fear that due to my own error or misinterpretation I may fall short. In exactly the same way, all I was trying to do was ensure that if not already done so, the right bells were being rung in other people's minds also.

I treat you all as sisters, and as with blood sisters, if I say something it is not meant as passing judgment at all. Truly we are all in a similar pain together here - otherwise we would not be on here - right? Allah is the true judge and only he can truly judge us. Who am I to judge anyone? Subhan Allah!

I once again profusely apologise to anyone/everyone to whom I may have caused upset. 
Take care 
Fazworld


----------



## FazWorld

ASA again..

phew - now that the above is off my chest..  

its that TOTM again!!! and its not easy during Ramadhan is it..? Sure its different if you just doing it cos u want to   but I just feel to tired, sleepy etc... so it only due to it being 'time' for me at the mo, and then having to do ghuzl at 5am before Fajr!   Oh well...  gosh what a moaner!!! I should say Alhumdolillah for allowing it in the first place during Ramadhan.. 

Don't mean to pry - but anyone else feeling down in that direction over Ramadhan? or am I just going  

Speak soon...
Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Hope u all are well.Me tooooooooo ok and plodding along.  .I have decided to start applying for few jobs to keep me busy in case my treatment doesn't work again although I am praying and will be PAYING vey hard to get the results in my favour but at the end of the day ALLAH knows best!!!!!!!! so filling in the job applications and finding it really hard to write essays to prove ur competencies.............Oh well I better   and concentrate on work.

Fazeeee, hope u r ok,I must admit I found it reallly hard to manage TOTM during Ramadan.I think I gave up after 2 attempts(sorry TMI)  especially as u said getting up for tahujjud/sehri.I have finished with Humira and will start my treatment this cycle.Please pray for me and keep sending positive vibes as I need them at the mo!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Ren and Godswill, where r u guys today??would love to hear from u sooon.

Iman, ur iftar sounds delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!I want to have some biryani and everything else.Today I am craving for some Dahi Baras.May go and make some for myself.............anyone wants to share?  

Snowbelle  I have done ur poll.....................wats cooking doc?I loved ur wraps and guacomole and the other side dish toooooooo!!!!!!!!!!UR hols are coming sooooooooooooon.Have u started doing any preps?

Tokiiiii, when r u testingThinking of u!!!

MAarias,Fiffi,SisterC ,KP and the rest of the team  

love,

Soni


----------



## DreamTeam

Asalam alaykum everyone   

Looks like everyone has been busy voting, inshallah I'm going to leave it open for the rest of the week to give everyone a chance to decide what they want to do. Then we get to the next head ache - where to have lunch   Any ideas /preferences I just need somewhere where they aren't going to poison me ( no gluten in my lunch please)   !

faz-ieeee - I'm totally changing your name here! Have you done the poll Inshallah very looking forward to putting a face to you! How are your little barbie groupies? Inshallah I got what you were saying and didn't take it badly  , however if one decides not to fast no doubt it is a very big decision and one which is not taken lightly. Please remember as well, is that we all walk in our own shoes and no one else knows how heavy they are.

On the TOTM aspect I haven't been well enough   my breast is still quite sore   can't wait until it gets better    It still looks really different to the other one...a bit like an apple with a bite taken out!!! Ok that is way TMI    inshallah Mr Snowbelle won't run away!

Soni - get back to work missy! I dunno whats for dinner...any ideas And of course loads of      and       for you!

Godswill - inshallah everything will be fine, DH are petrified that we will go to Malaysia and find out his employer (a bank) has gone bust, what ever it is khair inshallah

R4k - where are you missy 


lots of love  

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone!!!

Is there anyone out there??  

Anyway love to everyone, I'm off to physio grrr!

love  

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

   I should point out that I did not make that iftar the other day!! the kebabs and chicken tikka were from the freezer section and the biryani from the curry shop at the top of the road! LOL!! hee hee you all though I had the time and energy to make that! I wish! lol...( I did make the salad though  ) 

Most nights I do cook but about once a week we have takeaway or freezer stuff. Alhamdulillah I can make a lot of things but as Im English and DH is Pakistani - I havent yet mastered the art of curry and such - least not to the standard he is used to! lol! So thats the one thing I don't really make. I wish though! insha'allah one day I'll get the hang of it. I need a teacher! ( any offers??)

No news from us here. We're still looking for property. Having some stresses with my parents and such but insha'allah will work out. 

Got really sad over last week ( most prob due to AF being here) with friends chatting about starting TTC and other stuff....so many of my friends have babies or pregnant. All they do is talk about that it seems. I've of course never been able to relate to their tales and such but at least before I could look forward to it. Makes me sad nowadays that I can't even do that anymore. I have no idea what they are talking about and I never will and it makes me very     but......I kind of feel that whilst I will escape the bad side effects of pregnancy and birth ( piles, pain etc) I have experienced my own hardship and still am...and one day I will get those kiddies and although I wont have carried them for 9 months I will have experienced the pain but in another way....Paradise lies at the feet of the mothers. There was a story in our local paper today about a 1 day old baby abandoned at the hospital....makes me think of the kind of background our future family may come from. I can't imagine how that mother must have felt to do that, sheer desperation and whilst maybe she can't take care of the baby, maybe someone like me can. One day they could be re-united and I would like to help with that insha'allah. Adoption under Islam is not about taking another's child as your own but about caring for that child in place of the parent, being a Guardian for it and care for it on behalf of its natual parents. 

Anyway hope I havent upset anyone by saying that, just needed to get it off my chest. I have down days and dont like to mention too much in front of DH because deep down I think he still feels that he is the source of my pain even though its not his fault and even though this has happened to us both. 

Must go now, lots to do. hope everyone is well.

Anyone heard from KP or from Sister C 

xxxx


----------



## FazWorld

asa,

Ok I'm going to make you all feel bad now  .

Masha Allah, I have a large family, mostly married with 2-4 children each, and DH has 3 siblings in same situation. we are talking about 25 adults and 15 kids. I had them ALL round for iftaari/dinner on Saturday. I was on my feet ALL day from 9am till 1am cooking/cleaning/entertaining!

Iftaari Menu
Majdoor dates (the best, almost a meal in themselves - yum yum)
Choleh
Dhahi Bareh (first time I ever made these by myself)
meat and veg Samosas (from Al Nisa)
Hot Southern fried chicken wings
Fruit chat (courtesy of MIL)

Dinner menu
Kofteh (meatball) curry
Lamb pilau rice
Chicken and Lamb kebabs (from Al Nisa)
Pasta for kids

Sweet/Afters 
Variety of cheesecakes (Sainsburys)

Alhumdolillah it went great but both DH and I were absolutely shattered. He was sooo good and hoovered the whole house and watched the kids, and he said he knew how stressed I was going to be so he stayed out of my way all day. And boy- was I stressed. I kept kicking people out of the kitchen, cos they were standing around chatting and making noise and cluttering up the place - poor ladies only wanted to help! It was ideal actually as I was on fasting 'holiday' plus wanted it done and out of the way before the last 10 days of Ramadhan set in. 

It was one of those things you have to do every now and then! Plus as the two families get on so well, it was a good way of getting them together. W/e are totally full by other members of family doing it in turn.. yum yum... not going to lose any weight that way tho.. 

Hope you all have a good Jumma  
Fazworld


----------



## KittenPaws

Salaam Sisters, 

Ooooh talking of food i too had an Iftar at my house last saturday. All the inlaws 14 adults and 7 kiddies. Was cooking all friday & saturday... The yummy menu was a mix of pakistani and a lebanese....

Dates
Rose syrup milk with jelly
Chana chaat (chickpea salad thingy)
Home made mince pies (took me aaaaaages to do these friday!)
Falafels with hommous
Mint chutney

Dinner
Kofta curry (meatball curry)
Chicken & dunia dry curry
Yoghurt salad
Rice & naan

Dessert 
a big fat cream cake 

 whos hungry now 

Lol

Hope everyone is doing well. Cant believe Ramashan has gone so quickly  

Love to all

KP xoxox


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Yes Jumma Mubarik too!!    

Alhumdulilah I have officially closed the polls for our meet up!  Inshallah by looking at the polls and the dates that everyone can /can't do I think the best date is Sunday 12 October!!   Inshallah it should be really nice to meet everyone for the first time (and again Soni, KP and Iman !) Can everyone just PM their mobile numbers, and then nearer the time I can send a text to everyone as to the location of our meet. I don't think its a good idea to have the location of our meet up on an open board. Our final number by the looks of things is 6 (R4K we are going to miss you  ). Obviously if anyone new joins in they are more than welcome to come along - just PM me!!

Faz-ieeee : Wow 25 adults and 15 kids!!! OMG that is brave! All that food sounded great! I'm from a very small family (2!), and DH is from a better sized (6) but his family aren't muslim so they wouldn't really come round for iftari, plus they live in Scotland! I bet your kids have a ball, when they meet all their cousins etc! 

Iman - So sad to hear you are having issues with your parents. I pray inshallah, that things get better if not resolve. I know how hard it is for my DH when his parents reject things. Inshallah, one can only pray the ears are unblocked, that the chains on the heart are broken and the veils are lifted from their eyes (can't remember the quote).   I remember hearing the story on the news and it hit me as well, that really there were 2 victims in the situation the baby and the mother  . I can only imagine how desperate the mother must have been...inshallah Allah(swt) will give families to the children who need families, and to the parents who need children... 

R4K - Any news of the placement 

Godswill, Soni, KP and anyone else  

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum w'r'wb everyone  

How is everyone.....??

Snowbelle sun the 12 sounds good inshAllah...look forward to it. I will pencil it in.

Faz, kitten paws...wow u guys have been busy. I wish i could cook for a big party...i should take lessons from you guys. The menus sound yum 
My family is huge and we live in a 2 bed flat....if i invite some and not others ppl will get upset....my dh's family is small. I have ad them round, but my menu is nothing like what urs is like.
Plus our food has less salt and spices as hubby is watching his diet. His mum passed away very young and 2 khalas (aunts) have had triple bypasses (also very young) so he is very fussy about what he eats....not great for me 

Imaan   hun hope ur feeling better. Its perfectly natural to feel the way u do. Its a lot to deal with and its something that i think will always niggle away at u, as there will always be ppl talking about it or pregnant women u will have to see etc.....u just come on here and vent out we are all here for u hun. I think ur really strong and are doing soo well....Allah never puts us more than we can bear.....so keep fighting. Ur reward is with Allah. 
Yes its sad about the women that left her baby, imaging what she must be going through. its not easy to give up a child....hope she is doing ok..I'm sure she hasn't had any medical check or anything.
Ur definitely "right Adoption under Islam is not about taking another's child as your own but about caring for that child in place of the parent, being a Guardian for it and care for it on behalf of its natural parents".  May Allah grant you success in this dunya and akhirah, may H ereplace ur sorrows with happiness ...Ameen

Ren u love ur sweet stuff MashAllah ....i cant eat anything after iftaar....i have lost a couple of pounds ....i am eating...but just cant eat a lot.
Did u do istikhara before u applied for the course/job.?? Any how definitly do it now....inshAllah He will guide you to what is right.

No much else to say ...hope to hear from u ladies soon.

love and duas..

xxx


----------



## FazWorld

asa,

another busy weekend of iftaris over. Friday, went to Islamic Cultural Centre, Regents Park to open fast. Going to mosque is so great cos it really revitalises the whole prayer thing when doing it in congregation with imam.. lucky men get that revitalisation all the time!!! Then Saturday went round my brothers. Iftaari was again full on spread... then yesterday we SIL's all decided that we would go round unannounced and make iftari at MIL's house, she wanted to do one so much, but is getting a bit old to manage it on her own. Full spread again.. oh dear lost my waistline completely!   

R4K, the reason they say it takes 12 weeks to take affect is cos thats how long it takes for the swimmers to mature from new.. hence you want the ones that were born AFTER your DH started taking the meds.. which will be ready in approx 12 weeks after that date.. its a bit misleading when they say that the swimmers are made constantly.. they are they ones just waiting in the queue for their chance!! They were actually born months ago!.. however - saying that you never know.. Allah Malik! He can do what He likes... 

Ramadhan is almost over! We into the last 10 days now. It really is very sad when we reach this stage... cos we know that the blessings of this month and its ibadah are nearing an end for another year..   Insha Allah may our prayers be answered and our ibadah be accepted.

Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Can everyone who would like to come to the meet up pleeeeeeeeeeease send me a PM through FF. So far I have Iman, KP and Soni down as coming... Also does anyone have any preferences/ dislikes  Inshallah if any newbies are reading this, you are more than welcome to come along and meet us!

I've got my HSG on Wednesday, I  am really NOT looking forward to this. I keep on saying to myself that compared to everything I've been through this past year it probably won't be too bad but I really don't want them to find something else wrong with me   My fet doctor gave me extra antibiotics to have once I have the HSG, as she said my immune system will be quite low since my op - bah humbug!

much love to everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum w'r'w'b all  

Allhumdulilah i am good. How is everyone doing??

Faz you have been busy.....wow...ahh may Allah reward you and ur SIL'S for the iftaar thought... 
I totally hear you about praying at the masjid.....me and DH go to masjid for taraweeh...it feels amazing...brings one to tears mashAllah. The feeling is great. That is the one of the many thing i miss about Ramadan..the unity of the ppl....May Allah unite the ummah...Ameen

Ren where do you work?? do u get home in time for iftaar?

I rang hospital i have got a provisional date for the 20/11/08. They will send a letter in October....so i guess i have something to look forward too..w.ell not exactly, i would rather fall pregnant. But Allah knows best.

A friend reminded me today about the story of Musa and khidr....when khidr hit a boy and he died. The hikmah behind that was that this boy would have grown up to be a bad boy, unrightious. So yes we are making dua....Allah never rejects any dua....there is khair init. There is a reason that its not happening right now but inshAllah it will when our time is right...   

Love you all for the sake of Allah.

Where is everyone....snowbelle, soni, imaan, sisterc... 

Take care and speak soon


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam Ladies,
Inshallah everyone is on form!! I'm off to hydrotherapy today so no doubt I will sleep like a log tonight!!! Anyway looks like everyone is still asleep here!!!

love

Snowbelle

Soni - have you moved into ARGC


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Snow, I haven't moved in as yet!!!!!!!!!!!Just feeling very tired and low and busy with other stuff as want to be on top of things once I will move into ARGC finally  

Fazeeeeeeee, hope u r ok.U and ur SIL'S sound lovely for doing this for MIL.I hope u had great time over there  

Godswill, soooo glad that u have finally got ur date.Atleast something to look forward to otherwise it feels that u r stuck not doing anything and nothing is happening on its own either!!!!!!! 

Ren,Insha'Allah u will find placement and will continue with ur course.Have u done Istikhara yet  

Iman, How r us sister?Hope all is well with u too.  

Tokiiiii, no news from u  for ur results

Well Eid is round the corner,so what is eevryone planning and wearingwould be interesting to know!!  

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam ladies   

How is everyone??

Allhumdulilah i am good...busy at work 

Snowbelle sounds very relaxing hydrotherapy ....ummmmm 

Soni ...yes i am glad my appointment has come through. Not officially still waiting for letter and the nurse did say the consultant hasn't actually confirmed it....so its a provisional booking. My dh has an exam that day....so i am a bit sad...but i didn't want to cancel as she was rescheduling me in for December. So i decided to stick with Nov. He will IA be finished by 12..so he said he will rush over to hospital to hold my had...lol lol lo yup i am a big baby...by the grace of Allah i have never had any medical procedure....so am quite apprehensive....!!

In regards to Eid clothes..i am meant to be going to get some material for a jilbab but haven't quite had the time and yes i am cutting it very short....lol lol lol thats me last minute.com....i should go lunch time. i wonder if he will sew it by next week....!!!
Have you got ur outfit sorted??

Any way must go...take care all

love & duas


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams 
Good to see we are all yapping away to day!!! 

Godswill - I can positively confirm that there is nothing relaxing about hydrotherapy! It is really nice in the sense that the water is very warm and the mobility level is greatly increased because you don't carry your body weight and in that sense my foot feels nice. But coming out of the pool is another thing altogether! Its like trying walk up steps with a bag of bricks attached! The first time I went I had to spend about 10 mins just sat down!!! But inshallah my foot always feels good after a session.   Inshallah your lap and dye will come round soon enough and it all goes well.

Soni - Cool to hear that you are doing well  

eid clothes - err no idea, maybe a pair of sparkly trainers!!! DH got his dates mixed so is going to have to go to work, so it'll probably just happen in the evening!

love to everyone

Snowbelle


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## FazWorld

asa,

I used to be into Eid clothes when I was young.. aaah a long time ago..  

Now its all about MY kids, just as my mum used to say to us.. She would always stay up on 'Chand raat' sewing our clothes.. and when u got loadsa sisters, it gets annoying, cos we used to have to help her out, well into the small hours and then iron them and then put the mehndi on.. so by Eid morning we were shattered and just wanted to sleep... I used to always promise myself that NEXT year it would be done well in advance.. hah! promises promises... 

My MIL brought loadsa clothes for my kids back from Pakistan.So they gonna wear one of those.  I bought the 'choorian' (bangles) last week. Now just got to pop down to Greet Street to buy some Khussas (embroidered shoes) for them. Me, I'll just probably wear a newish suit. My SIL's sister sells really nice shalwar suits for £30-£35 . She gets them in from Pakistan. I might just buy one off of her... maybe the credit crunch has got to my head but I seem to have become loathe to spend any money on myself anymore... 

Quick question.. do you ladies go to mosque to pray Eid salah? I always do (unless of course AF turns up  which always makes me very sad.. cos that is the whole point of Eid) but my SIL's don't unless I force them - I am sure it's just that they can't be bothered.. my dad always used to take us, and I have instilled it into DH that we (he and I previously and now he, I and kids) always go as a family. MIL is very happy with that cos then we take her with us... having grown up with just boys, she never told them she wanted to go, so they would just go off, then come back and expect her to make them breakfast! 

Umm Atiyah (ra) reported: "The Messenger of Allah (saw) commanded us to bring out on Eid-al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha, young women, hijab-observing adult women and the menstruating women. The menstruating women stayed out of actual Salaat but participated in good deeds and Duaa (supplication). I (Umm Atiyah) said to the Holy Prophet (saw): Oh! Messenger of Allah, one does not have an outer garment. He replied: Let her sister cover her with her garment." ( Muslim )

ciao  
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

I grew up like you in that we always went for Eid Salat at regents park mosque and what ever happened we would go. DH isn't so into going to the mosque on eid which is wierd as he goes the rest of the year  . I still have to pray using a chair, and am still not good in crowds plus I'm scared someone is going to trample on my foot!! So no Eid in mosque for me this year!

Fazie - are we going to meet you on the 12th?

WS

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Hey 

Where has everyone gone.........

I went out lunch time get some material for jilbabs.....  i got a really nice aqua blue...raw silk.....woohoooo....i wonder if he will sew it by next week...i will give it to him tomorrow insAllah!!
oh i also splashed out and got grey material and pink....yes i know i am meant to be watching how i spend...with one definite redundancy another possible. Oh well lol lol

So where have u all gone.....


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Godswill, your colours for jilbabs sound really nice!!!!!!I love wearing colourful clothes especiall on occassions like eid,shaadi etc.It's good to know that u have got tailors who will sew it for u.Thats one thing i wish i would have learned but I haven't got patience for it among many other things   .

I don't have big family round here just my inlaws so I miss my family and friends back in Pakistan a lot!!!Dh has a difficulty understanding the connection to mehndi,choodiyaan,clothes for Eid but over the years I have managed to change things a bit and now he asks what would I like for Eidi!!!!  I never went for eid prayers in mosque in Pakistan but now enjoy it with DH because he loves going to Regents park mosque.I just miss my family a lot  

Snowbeele, hope u r resting now and physio went well  

Fazeee,it must be exciting to have girls in the house and doing eid preparations.It's so much colourful with dresses, choodiyann and mehndi etc.hope u r ok today

Ren, where r u hiding today or have I missed anything     to you

soni


----------



## FazWorld

asa.. 

Last year, I made my kids churidaar suits (the loooong drainpipe ones), with their teeny weeny dupattas.. wot a palava..and I remembered that this was one of the very reasons I hoped I would have boys - they are happy with a pair of jeans! Masha Allah they looked absolutely beautiful, and I'm just a lazy, nasty, ungrateful so and so! 

I made them these beautiful red shalwar suits for their very first Eid, when they were only 6 weeks old. I still have them in hanger somewhere just in case I ever need them again   and in any case to give to them when they grow up Insha allah.. 

I really should make more of an effort, cos my DDs are so girly. I wear shalwar suits practically everywhere except work, so they too first ask me what I am wearing and then want to dress the same. But I don'tmake the effort on myself as I do with them. They want to be like mummy, so I should be careful my apathy don't rub off on them too!


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam Faz...

Ahhh wow...so ur good in the kitchen and now a right seamstress mashAllah. Like Soni i wish i could do it...paying someone to sew is a pain. I really wish i had that talent....i was pestering DH to get me one so i can play around on it...he just laughed at me...said u will use it for a week than get bored. He knows me soo well   

Ahh red shalwar kameez i bet they looked soo beautiful mashAllah.....and u have kept it.You can give it to them to give to their kids...a family heirloom....wohooo
Are they identical twins??

salamz


----------



## FazWorld

You ar eright you know.. I did tell him that as I have now been done out of Birthday pressie, anniversary pressie, Valentine pressie, now even Mother's day pressie, cos we don't celebrate any non-islamic celebrations anymore.. that only leaves Eid to get a pressie, so I wanted one this year. He just snorted!  But he never stops me spending on myself, I just don't!


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## Godswill

Wa'salam Ren,

I was thinking where u were. Not like u to pop on and say salamz... )

So u used to work in a bank hai....im like u dont like hard work...lol lol lol this job is ideal..very relaxing as u can tell, i work soo hard  lol

Ohhh look at u, 2 new suits. wow mashAllah. Spoilt for choice hai. Well like snowbelles DH we got our dates wrong...and as i've mashAllah had 4 holidays this year...used up all my hols andnow facing the consequesnces.  Just didnt think. I usually see inlaws (not that we i have much here) and my family...and yes just eat all day....! i will go masjid in morning and then back to work. May be go to London in the evening to see family. But it wont be the same.

In regards to istikhara....umm not sure...if it was me i would take that as a sign. Allah knows best hun  i know u werelooking forward to it, but there is hikmah in everything. Allah is the best of planners.

in regards to eid prayer

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

`Eid Prayer must be performed in congregation. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered women of all ages, including those who were menstruating, to come out for `Eid gathering, even though it is well known that those who are menstruating are not supposed to pray. Therefore, his intention was to stress that no one should be prevented from participating in the joyous experience and celebration of `Eid. Therefore, there is no doubt that women should come out for `Eid Prayer to the masjid if it is held in a mosque. That is the sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). To bar women from praying in the mosque goes directly against the explicit and categorical statement of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), for he said, "Do not bar the maids of Allah from attending mosques of Allah."

As for `Eid, the Prophet's ideal practice was to hold the Prayer not inside mosque, but in an open space. He did so in order to facilitate for the largest number of people to attend the `Eid Prayer and listen to the sermon. Thus we read in the authentic report from Umm `Atiyyah (may Allah have mercy on her) that "the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered us to bring out every woman, including those who were menstruating, in order to witness things that are beneficial for them and the mammoth congregation of Muslims."

In conclusion: You are supposed to pray `Eid Prayer only with the jama`ah (in congregation). You should do so even if it is held in a mosque; however, you should pray only if you are eligible to pray. May Allah bless us all to reap the benefits of `Eid, and may He grant us success and felicity in both worlds. Ameen.

oh also wanted to ask has anyone ever tried cupping hijaamah its the sunnah of the prophet pbuh

Al-Bukhaari narrated in his Saheeh (5269) from Sa'eed ibn Jubayr from Ibn 'Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Healing is in three things: drinking honey, the incision of a cupper, and cauterizing with fire, but I forbid my ummah to use cauterizing." 

A sister who couldnt get pregnant used (she comes on islam channel...city sisters) and she tried it and fell pregnant mashAllah. Its from the sunnah...i was thinking of trying it inshAllah. My sister knows someone in NW London area she is well established in the fiels and by profession is a nurse. I think i will definitly try it.
Any way love u and leave u

xxx


----------



## Godswill

Salams

You never know sis....u might just get a  remain positive inshAllah it will happen. Its all about faith. U never know. On this site u read all these stories about women u have had 4 ivf treatments and nothing, and than when not trying bang a   so it when He wills sis. Also other ppl whos dh's have had poor SA, and they even conceive..so it His doing my lovely.

for iftaar we are having pizza from pizza express. i am having funghi.....mushrooms etc....yum yum...i have been dying to have that since last week!!! 
What have u planned for iftaar?


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## FazWorld

ASA,



snowbelle said:


> Fazie - are we going to meet you on the 12th?


no sorry, I'm afraid I can't make it ...

On another note, I didn't know how to access the poll to see the options anyway.. how does one access polls?

Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum lovely ladies  ,

Unfortunately I got a phone call from the HSG people yesterday saying that their machine had broken and so no HSG for me which frankly  is a complete load of codswallop. I'm really annoyed in a very tired way, because I was told to get the HSG done in July and thanks to St  Georges, my breast operation was delayed and this had to be delayed. Now its just more annoying because, the next mid cycle point will be pretty much as we depart to go on holiday, so October is out and then we'll be away which means I'll be lucky to get done by nov /dec. Its just very frustrating.    to that horrible nurse who broke the machine. The most annoying thing is that the gastapo nurse who I spoke to on the phone pretty much accused me of delaying the procedure when I rang up to book it and so I have to go through the whole thing again...BAH HUMBUG! I know that we don't have problems compared to some people, I just feel as we are unable to move forward because of this. Its almost like there is another schedule (which obviously there is), but I am so conscious that fibroids can grown back, so many things can happen. I just cannot imagine believing that we will manage to get a  . 

Alhumdulilah I had hydrotherapy, I fell asleep on the sofa at 8pm!!! I was absolutely shattered last night, infact I still am right now.

R4K - I fractured various bones in my foot in November and had complications since then, hence the hydro! You would have   laughed your head off if you had seen me leave the pool. In the hydro pool you have very minimal weight to carry and as you come out it all hits you like a ton of bricks!!!

Fazworld - we are going to miss you inshallah next time  . I had put the poll up in a separate posting in religion so you would have had to go to the post then choose the option that would have suited you.

Soni - attached to sofa, can't imagine walking right now! I could hardly make it to the lift last night. I didn't realise the hydro class was an hour unlike the 1:1 session which was 30 min!

Godswill - Spoke to DH last night about your sister, most of his friends are married but he has a few that aren't. Inshallah when ever you want you can tell us a little more about her and what she is like etc.  

Much love to everyone - I'll be back in a bit

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA 


Godswill said:


> Ahh red shalwar kameez i bet they looked soo beautiful mashAllah.....and u have kept it.You can give it to them to give to their kids...a family heirloom....wohooo
> Are they identical twins??


No - they are simply sisters sharing the same birthday. One looks like my side of the family, and the other like DH's whic is Alhumdolillah really cool! One is 2 inches taller than the other and skinny. The other shorter and a little rounder.. 

In fact Masha Allah, my babies are 5 today! May Allah swa grant them a long life and guide them to the siraatul mustaqeen..( the straight path) Ameen 

Fazworld.


----------



## Godswill

Salam ladies...

Hope everyone is well.

Faz...may Allah grant them the best in this dunya and the akhira...AMEEN.

IA will post properly later.....!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

Where is everyone hiding?   

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Hello All,

Good to see lots of action recently!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations FAzeeee on the birthday of your twins!!!!!!!Loads of love and kisses to them from all of us.Are u celebrating tonight

Reneeeee, All I can say that everything happens for a reason and if u r starting on a IVF journey it is really hard to keeo 2 balls rolling at the same time.Atleast I found it really hard and had to give up my job as couldn't handle both!!!!!!!!Think positive and keep praying  for strength and patience.

Godswill, hope u r ok!!!!!u r allowed to be frustrated  my DH thinks I am frustrated most of the time  but just can't help it.........

Snowbelle, hope u have recovered from the after effects of hydro and all set for tomorrow as well  

Well I started downregging for ICSI and yesterday found out that mh body is just not playing the game.They found a cyst on my ovary and today they had to drain it under anaesthesia.I am feeling sick and yucky!!!!!!!!!!Just trying to keep my head down and continue with it all hoping for the best result Insha'Allah!!!No iftari today for me as don't fancy eating anything and on top of that more tests tomorrow so I guess like Snowbelle said will be residing in ARGC very sooooon  

Love and take care u all,pray a little for me tooooooooo!!!!!!  

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Waslam hunies..

Soni....wow its all started for u....inshAllah u will be blessed with a   real soon hun. Sorry about the cyst, but Allhumdulilah it was taken care of straight away.    
Like Ren said make sure eat a little something to keep ur strength up inshAllah.

ren...hope ur ok hun   hurt ur foot and than case of sprite what are u trying to do ur self...lol lol don't go to such extremes to leave work...lol lol ...kidding...hope u aren't too bruised hun.


Hey we might be coming dwn to Manchester...my DH wants to see what all the fuss is about...heard there are some really good places to eat on the good ol Wimslow rd. (i think tahst the famous rd  )..lol lol khair we have planned it so many times it just never happens.!!!



Any way take care ladies...im off...!


----------



## FazWorld

soni said:


> Congratulations FAzeeee on the birthday of your twins!!!!!!!Loads of love and kisses to them from all of us.Are u celebrating tonight


No.. we don't celebrate B'days, anniversaries, or anything anymore. Just Eid! 

Thats why I think its sooo important that we show the kids that EID is our celebration and make a big deal about it, cos else they going to want to know how come everyone else has parties and they don't! 

We let them go to their first (and prob only) B'day party the first week of school. I just thought that it was a good place to socialise.. if they miss out on the first one, then its not good. They have another invite in Oct, but we will prob not let them go .. I miss the pressies and stuff 

Fazworld


----------



## Maarias

ASA ladies,
Sorry for not posting for a while. I've been feeling rather poop, but don't like to complain too much as I know how lucky I am. Feeling a bit left out for not being able to fast at the mo - feel like a bit of a fraud for celebrating Eid without fasting - but IA will make up for them as soon as I can.

I sprained my foot on Monday to top it all and was out of action for a few days - had to be the day that dh was away on business as well   GP wanted me to do an xray to check nothing was broken but was a bit loathe to as worried about doing any x-rays at the mo, although he seemed to think as my foot is so far away from the baby I should be ok - I will see how well it mends - still have massive bruise there...

Am also trying to potty train ds at the moment, which isn't proving too sucessful -just lots of wee on the floor!     

I wanted to wish Fazee's little girls many happy returns of the day   
    

Snowbelle - sorry to hear about your setback with the hsg - sounds really disorganised - is it St. George's again?

I will do proper personals soon I promise.

Mx


----------



## Maarias

Just a few personals:

Soni - wishing you lots of     for forthcoming tx - I had quite a bad start to my cycle this time as well as had a bad reaction to menopur (was really sick) and had to be changed to gonal f - I was told if things didn't improve they'd have to cancel - just try and stay positive hun (easier said than done I know!)- IA it'll all work out in the end     

Ren -     - sorry to hear you were feeling down

Godswill - thanks for thinking of me sis - hope your foot is on the mend. I know what you mean about a mindless job - I've been doing the same job for over 10 yrs now - it's just easy and I can do it without thinking - which helps with the other stuff going in my life. I do sometimes feel guilty and know I could be earning more if I was just a little bit more ambitious - have enough qualifications under my belt... 

Mx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum ladies  ,
Wow there was so much reading to catch up here! I wandered away from my laptop for a bit and bam it all got going. Alhumdulilah its really good to see everyone yapping away  !

I am quite excited today as I have another session of hydrotherapy   although I doubt I'll be able to do that afterwards! I've also been down to my local pool, and they were really nice highlighting all the quiet sessions for me on the pool timetable. Once I start driving again I'll be there inshallah. More than anything though, I've really been wanting to visit an orphanage, when Mr Snow and I go to Malaysia, up until now it has been a struggle to find a muslim one. Seems the buddhist ones are slightly more internet savvy! Alhumdulilah finally managed to track down some email addresses last night and got a response with a list (inc old people homes) today. So its just exciting!!!   I have no idea what we can take or whether it would be better to get stuff from there etc, but I can start looking into it now!

R4k and Maarias -  have you learnt nothing from me girlies? Foot injuries are SOOOOOOOOOOOOO last year!!!     and more than anything definitely NOT the way to go! Seems like I have set a trend here - no thank you!

I have to quickly dash off - will be back in a bit!

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Wa'alaykum assalam w'rwb everyone  

Jumua Mubarak      

How is everyone??

Maarias ahhh lovely to hear from you....   Yes i am doing a crappy job. too, having qualifications too i would have thought i would have done better...but my dream is to be a mum and the best mum so not very carer orientated..if u get what i mean  

We have our meeting on Monday about the redundancy....i guess we will be given exact dates...so far they have told us Dec 12...i will probably take a month off or soo and see where that take me... 

Went to the masjid yesterday...and subhanAllah, the imaam told us to make dua for a couple who after 15 years had twins (boy & girl) but by His grace the girl passed away (inna lilah hi wa ina ilahi rajioon) Then he gave a speech about it is Allah will and Allah test us, some ppl aren't ever given kids and some are after years of trials...i sat there and cried like a big baby... i just couldn't help it...    the thing is we were making dua...so ppl just thought i was making a heartfelt dua...i was but also couldn't help feel for the poor parents...he then reminded us that there is a house in jannah for children that pass away at a young age and they will stand at the gate of jannah and call for their parents....  May He remove the pain of the loss of a child to all parents and grant them ease and success in this Danya and Akhirah ...Ameen

Sorry if i have upset any one..i wanted to share this with you..i was feeling really dwn yesterday, really scared about the lap & dye tining what if the tests come back saying u cant have kids etc....i worked my self up...anyway so i took that as a sign from Allah telling me hang in there...and have faith and sabr. My plan is the best of plans.

sorry for the waffling lovelies. Needed to let it out.

Love and duas


----------



## FazWorld

ASA,

Godswill - that wa just so sad that it brought tears to my eyes... 

Listen - even if the L&D comes back showing you have probs (which insha Allah you won't) there are procedures out there to overcome most hurdles... and if you go on to have IVF (sorry can't remember if you have yet or not), then L&D results won't matter (that test is really just to ensure that your tubes are not blocked) cos they will harvest the eggs themselves.  So please don't worry. 

I sent a preparatory email to Lister today asking about maybe doing my cycle in October. They want me to come in for a post failed-cycle consultation! Why? I know what to do..! They about to have a huge renovation programme over Dec/Jan.. so its either Oct/Nov for me or March 09. Insha Allah I want it now asap after Ramadhan.. I just hope DH feels the same.

Insha Allah going to East London Mosque for Alvidah Jumma prayers, the going home - have the afternoon off! I feel so sad that Ramadhan is coming to an end and the blessings of this month are nearly over for another year. 

Anyways - take care and will chat on Monday insha Allah.

Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

wa'salam everyone....

how is everyone...??

Ren....laylatul kadr isnt exactly confirmed for the 27th night.....it could be any odd night in the last 10 days of ramadan. Some scolars say it COULD be the 27th.

The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) also said, "Seek it in the last ten days, on the odd nights." [Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Sa`id al-Khudri (Allah be pleased with him)]
In general, it is agreed that it is most likely to be in the last ten nights of Ramadan, with the odd nights being more likely. Of the odd nights, the night of the 27th (which is the night before the 27th of Ramadan, for the Islamic day starts with nightfall) is most likely. Imam Shafi`i said that it is most likely to be the 21st, then the 23rd, then the 27th. Imam Nawawi followed the position of Imam Muzani and Imam Ibn Khuzayma that it moves around within the last ten nights. [Nawawi, al-Majmu` Sharh al-Muhadhdhab, 6.488]

May Allah give us the success of following in the footsteps of the inheritors of the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), outwardly and inwardly, and may He make us of those whom He loves. Ameen

Any way must got...salam to all.


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum w'r'w'b

Just wanted to add....the Prophet (SAW) said the person who takes care of the orphan finacially or other wise until he/she is able to lokk after him/her self. On the day of judgement that person and I will be like this (he (saw) then put his (saw) index finger and forefinger joined together.  SubhanAllah

Any way just a reminder to me first and then to you guys.


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## FazWorld

ASA,

we spent Sunday in ToysRus buying pressies for all the kids. The only ones we tend to miss out are our own! - but Insha Allah they will get so many back, that they just get lost in them.. We can then buy for them throughout the year... We used to give the kids a tenner as Eiddie, but have now decided to buy them pressies with the tenner as the budget. Kids enjoy tearing wrapping so much more than getting a piece of paper that goes straight to their parents! . I only give eiddie to my unmarried sisters now (as they are all younger than me!). 

I have 18 nieces/nephews - so gets a bit hair-raising. I do try and buy little items throughout the year - which helps ease the burden somewhat - I now know what the Christmas feeling is all about! 12 of the 16 are on my side, but Alhumdolillah, DH is really good and buys happily and equally for everyone tho I do try and spend a bit more on his 4, to equal out the spending balance a bit.  

Godswill is absolutely right that 27th is not necessarily, but the more culturally accepted Night of Power (Laylatul Qadr).. However, it is better for us to do ibadah on as many of the last 10 nights as we can, that way we can ensure we catch it on any night, and also, no ibadah is wasted during this blessed month - esp as Allah SWA comes down to the lowest heaven to listen to those praying in the last 3rd of the night! Just leaves one really tired tho!! 

Fazworld


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## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone

EID MUBARIK!!!  

Inshallah all our duas will be accepted

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Guest

*EID MUBARAK *


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## soni

Salam ALL,

EID MUBARAK to all of you!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

SONI


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## Fiffi

Eid Mubaarak to everyone. Enjoy the feasting 

love
Farah
x


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

Eid Mubarak Takabal Allah mina wa minkum.

I'd love to Ren but I'm in Ireland! Just trying to catch up with all the posts. There are so MANY!!

SisterC



r4k said:


> Snow-Aww really wish i could meet up with you guys!  Inshalah when I get my own car i'll defo make a trip down london and we'll meet
> 
> Godswill,soni,iman,sisterc and anyone iv missed hope ur well
> 
> love Ren x x


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom
Eid Mubarak. Sisters I really appreciate all those who asked where I was - I hope you made du'a for me at the same time.

The first 8 days of Ramadan. AF was visiting. Then I had surgery on my lower jawbone. then the wound got infected and TMI alert! my mouth started to smell like rotten eggs. I was on loads of anti-biotics and still have pain but that is expected to last 6 MONTHS! Insha Allah by my sicknesses He will grant me forgiveness for my sins.

Am totally exhausted. Wasn't able to TTC this month - OV same time as op and too sore after. BUT alhamdililah the TTC stress has been so much removed - I feel quite relaxed now masha Allah. And my face is nice and smooth again alhamdililah - I get dreadful excema on my face when I'm stressed. Alhamdililah.

Sorry I've not been in touch, insha Allah will write more in the next few days.
love to all 
C


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## FazWorld

ASA and Eid Mubarak to one and all!!  

When did everyone celebrate? I celebrated on Tuesday.. I must say it was a surprise. I was definitely looking forward to another fast.. also had my last half of chapter 30 to read to have completed the Quran during Ramadhan. I rushed to finish it that night so that technically it was still finished in Ramadhan... Insha Allah may He accept all our ibadah and fast during the holy month of Ramadhan.

For those of you that don't know, fasting 6 days in the blessed month of Shawwal is also recommended for maximum reward.

A hadeeth of the Prophet SAW - Whoever fasts Ramadhan then follows it with six days of Shawwaal, it will be as if he fasted for a lifetime (reported by Muslim, no. 1984). 

For those ladies that have missed some of the obligatory fasts of Ramadhan, they should make those up FIRST before doing the six of Shawwal in order to fulfil the requirement. Kindly note, these can be done through out the month of Shawwal and do not have to be done consecutively. Also, for the Ramadhan fasts being made up, you do not have to ask your DH's permission as these are still the obligatory ones, however, as the Shawwal ones are naafil fasts, you would need to ask your DH's permission - I guess that ruling is in place so that he knows in advance to leave you alone  ). 

Quick question on other matters, has anyone ever switched from Gonal F to menapure? I had heard it the other way round... I have always used Gonal F and responded very well so my doctor is now suggesting I switch to Menapur to get a better quality of egg..? If that were the case- ie that it produces a better quality - why bother using Gonal F at all?

Chat later
Fazworld


----------



## KittenPaws

[fly]EID MUBARAK TO ALL,

Looking forward to meeting you all

Love & Salaams
KP  [/fly]


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Just a quick jump in to say hello!!!

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Subhan Allah - it was so nice to read all the posts and see  that sisters were asking for me. When I feel isolated it is a big lift. Dh wouldn't bring me to Eid prayers and was in bad humour all day. I think it is because he misses his family and can't afford to go home. I can't believe it -  now my back has gone and I'm in agony, so I didn't mind too much missing the congregational prayer. Make du'a that Allah will forgive me some sins - I can hardly move with the pain. I can't do any housework. I did the shopping online. 

Things are so weird in my marriage. I was wondering if we should be TTC at all. Whether this is a good place to bring a baby. We got married for the right reasons and according to the Sunnah and alhamdililah the problems are making me turn to Allah more. Then over the last week I visited an elderly aunt who has never been married and thought - I don't want my life to be like hers. My sister said "if you have children you'll never be alone" and that made me think insha Allah I could have someone to pray for me when I'm dead. Is it only when you have a problem conceiving that people think so much about their future children? Masha Allah, my dh has the makings of a good father, and if he has family here maybe he won't miss home so much, and we will have something in common apart from work. I feel such a gulf between us - I had prayed istikara and asked for a divorce, then I decided to stay in the marriage, and now I am watching how he is - in himself and towards me. Just because I've decided to try doesn't mean he wants to or that he loves me. He often says to me "You never understand" but when I ask him to help me by explaining what he is talking about he refuses. He is not demonstrative or affectionate and can be very hurtful - in the begining of the marriage those things did not bother me because I didn't love him and hadn't got abused women syndrome. I just have to grow a thicker second skin and not let him get to me when he is being negative. He is such a child - he is annoyed that I said he should pay his debts for his last trip home instead of going home again and is blaming me - saying I didn't let him go home because he owed the money to my Visa card, and I hate riba and wanted to get rid of the debt, even if it was his not mine. A sister who works with the marriage guidance told me that many married couples don't love each other and that I am blessed because we do love each other. What do you all think? Is it better if you don't love one another and so can't really be hurt by one another or not? Why doesn't kindness and understanding automatically follow love? Why do men think that debts to the women in their life are the least important? Why am I sensitive to dh's moods? Why does it make me feel bad when he is angry or in his "black" place? What about you all? When my husband is angry - he smoulders, when he smiles he lights up the room, masha Allah. He is such fun, kind and generous to others, attractive and does his Salah - masha Allah what more should I ask for? I am blessed but complain. May Allah forgive me. Sorry sisters for rambling - I need to think things through and writing helps me. Also I appreciate any feedback from you all.

Snowbelle - forgive me for asking - but what happened to your foot in the first place?

The sister with the clots (I still can't remember the names) - sister you should not be in pain like you described - please talk to the doc without waiting until your appointment.

C


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## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum everyone  ,

Alhumdulilah Eid was ok in our house: DH had to go to work (as he had miscalculated the days), my mum was quite unwell and I had to have hydro that day! Alhumdulilah, though we all made up for it in the evening   Inshallah everyone had a good Eid!

SisterC - Welcome back. So sorry to hear of your troubles, inshallah you should have told us that you were to have such a big operation. Indeed you left us all wondering where you had disappeared to! 

Just to clarify, my foot! Apologies to those of you who are familiar with the story and a little bored! In November last year I tripped over and fractured my navicular (which supports all your body weight), fractured the 3rd metarcil, smashed a piece of bone, sprained the ankle, tore a ligament and was in plaster for 3 weeks just as I started my zoladex treatment (which for me involved having AF visit for 8 weeks! and an opportunity to see what my menopause would be like), I then had 4 months with no treatment but knowing that something was wrong with my foot. Investigations then found that my ancilliary navicular had totally come away from the muscle and main bone. So then I was in an aircast for 5 months. Since August I have been having lots of physiotherapy and hydrotherapy in an attempt to build up the muscle and to prevent long term permanent muscle degeneration. Alhumdulilah it has been a very long year, inshallah my foot and leg muscles are getting stronger. It is 3 weeks and 1  day since I stopped using my crutches   and alhumdulilah I walk unaided  !

Much love to Maarias (hope your foot and bambino are ok), Soni (will you ever leave ARGC?? hope you have lots of folicles for sunday), Ren , Godswill (just because it is Eid, doesn't mean you can run away!  ), KP (looking forward to seeing you with bump inshallah  ), Iman (don't leave it so long  )

and of course much love to anyone I've forgotten!

love

Snowbelle


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## Godswill

wa'alaykum assalam w'r'w'b all  

Eid Mubarak (late i know) to you all....things have been really busy at work and eid was kind of unexpected...don't ask y. In our area they decided it was going to be Wednesday but we went with the majority and did it on Tuesday. Hope everyone had a good one.

I have good news to share...my sister is inshAllah getting married ...Allhumdulilah. Its to my brother in-laws brother. He lives in Spain. JazakAllah to all for their duas. They will go Pakistan for wedding, we are aiming for next month, they are both of a considerable aga. If they are happy y not take the plunge....so i am excited about that even though i cant make it to Pakistan but am happy.   

Snowbelle hope ur mum is feeling better hun....may Allah grant her shiffah for her illness. Ameen

Sister C nice to have u back  sorry to hear of th problems, its not easy. I think definitely work on the relationship before having kids. My mother and father didn't get on one bit and all i remember is arguments etc....its not a nice thing to go through as a child and then on top of it they split. So definitely work on the marriage first.
You need to make sure th elines of communication between u both are clear and open. MashAllah he prays so thats a good sign make lots of dua that things will improve inshAllah. Divorce i think should be the last option, try all avenues etc...Allah knows best


Love and duas to all


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## Maarias

Wa'alaykum Assalam ladies,

This is just a quick one to wish you all a belated Eid Mubarak!!

I've been at my mum's for a few days being waited on hand and foot which has been lovely - so much food - I forgot how much mum cooks (yummy sevyia) ! Like some of you I thought Eid was gonna be on Wednesday so we only made it down there in late afternoon on Tuesday   - was working in the morning  .

Sister C - I agree that a strong marriage is important for ttc - however I think it's normal for all marriages to take a strain so please don't be too hard on yourself for not having a perfect marriage  . We all enter marriage with expectation of children and when that just isn't happening it's hard.

Godswill - AH I was very pleased to hear about your sisters prospective marriage - such exciting news   

Salaams to all I have missed,
mx


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## FazWorld

ASA

Godswill - congrats on your sister's coming marraige. Du'as have certainly helped her.. insha allah sisters please pray that my sisters (I have three sisters over 30 waiting to find their life partners) also have the same fortune.  

SisterC - I do feel for you. However remember the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): 

“No believing man should hate a believing woman; if he hates one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” (Reported by Muslim, 2672) 

Insha Allah with time things will get better for you. My SIL was from Pakistan, left her family to live here and was very lonely and sad and always wanting to go home - until Alhumdolillah she had her children.. now she feels this is her home with THIS family. She goes back when she can - but is now more settled. Although I agree with what other sisters are saying about fix the marraige first.. a child very often brings a couple much closer together. Insha Allah pray to Allah SWA that he changes your DH for the better and makes life easier for you.   

You are absolutely right about telling your DH to clear the debt before going home. Do not feel bad about saying that to him. He is the shepherd of his flock (ie you for now) and should be telling you good things... not telling you off for telling him good things.  

Salaams to everyone and hope you have a good weekend.
Fazworld


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## Shino

Asalamualaikum Sisters

I'm new to this forum, it's the first time I joined one so not so familiar with posting and especially all them abbreviations you guys use ! I guess most of them! Well I know what BFP and BFN is I think one is positive and the other negative? Perhaps someone would be kind enough to give me list of what everything means!!  

Just to introduce myself, I have been married for 11 years, I have had two negative rounds of ICSI 5 years ago, and on thursday 4th October had a natural cycle FET with my last two embryos, one of which did not thaw sucessfully so only one was put back. So i'm in the agonising 2ww - ( i'm getting the hang of this!). The hospital had sent me a letter a few months back stating that they would dispose of the embryos as the storage time limit was nearing its end so thats why I went in for the natural cycle treatment. I had almost given up on treatment for awhile sinking in somesort of depression, I just started throwing myself into work and I'm currently a third year Law Undergraduate Mature Student - to get my mind off things. So I don't know where those 5 years went! 

I have read some of the posts and it is reassuring in a kind of way that I'm not alone in my struggle for a child - as most of us are in the same boat.


I hope everyone had a fantasic Eid! And would be nice to hear from you all  

Salaams

Shino xxxxxxxxx


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
a big welcome to Shino  

I'm so pleased that you found us! A belated Eid Mubarak to you too. Where are you based? We are having a meet up in London on the 12th of October, inshallah if you would like to come please let me know   again another way to pass the time on the 2ww!

Re abbreviations if you go to starting out on the main FF page there is a list of ALL the abbreviations and there are TONS!!! I'm sure you will pick them up in no time!

Anyway thats all for now - inshallah praying really hard for you on the 2ww

Soni - thinking about you and your stimulation this weekend, inshallah it will work so stay positive!

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Shino

Salaams Snowbelle 

Thankyou so much for the lovely welcome! I am so glad I found Muslimahs in similar situ as me! Oh I would love to meet all of you, where and when, Inshallah I should be free on the 12th - and yes It would definitley help with the 2ww!

Just had a look at the abbreviations - wow what along list eh? Thank you that helped alot! 

Inshallah I hope to get acquainted with you all soon  and shall pray for all of us 

Sending lots of love

Shino xxx


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Alhumdulilah the foot is behaving   but then again it better had do, I NEED the holiday!!! I finally found a travel insurance the other day that would cover my foot. DH's work travel insurance covered everything but refused to cover my foot. Bah humbug! Inshallah it should be fine though, I've really had my fill of hospitals. I think this year on average I've been to hospital 3 times a week, EVERY WEEK!

Shino - I've sent you a PM with the details (at the top right hand side of the page), inshallah get back to me and we will definitely be looking forward to meeting you. I think that you will find that we all have different problems but inshallah our goal is the same. I pray inshallah that Allah(swt) give families to the children who need families, and children to the families who need children - ameen.

R4K - Can you please stay away from accidents I'm starting to get very worried about you, I really do not want you to join me on a fracture forum!!! Inshallah stay safe. BTW have you seen your GP yet about the clots The drugs are great as they stem the flow and give you a shorter AF. Do you have a gynie A and E near you (incase you don't want to see your GP)? 

Soni - Praying really hard for your stimulation this weekend. Inshallah you will produce one perfect 'egg' which is the bambino. Mr Snow and I are both praying for you! 

Godswill - Alhumdulilah, thats just exciting your sister has found someone - how fantastic. Inshallah we will have our own little virtual wedding party in this room near the time   . I think it just goes to show that we have no idea of Allah(swt)'s plan! 

Faz-iiiiii! -Inshallah your sisters will find their DH asa Allah(swt) wills. I pray ishallah it is soon and they are happy.  How are your little ones

Maarias - Hows your pregnancy going? Hope you little one isn't making you run around too much!  

SisterC - How are things? Inshallah you are getting stronger??

Much love to everyone I've forgotten - Iman and KP looking forward to seeing you both again 

Love
Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam ladies.....  

I pray you guys are all in the best of health and imaan...inshAllah.

Welcome sister Shino...nice to have u on board..sorry to hear of all the difficulty you have been having..but Allah is the best of planners..when He wills hun it will happen. inshAllah you will have a BFP real soon, dont loose hope. As im sure you know the story of Prophet zakariya and the story of Khidr who killed the young boy because when he grew up he would be unrigtious. There is a sister on here who after 14 years had a little girl...i know others too who have have similar stories. So sis keep faith and be strong. With hardship comes ease. Any time your going through a hard time or just to vent out you come on here and vent out. We are all good listeners  

 your 2ww goes with ease and ends in good news my dear inshAllah.

Ren....what are you doing to your self...subhanAllah. Personnaly i think you need to take some time off work and take have some me time. Have you been for an x-ray, you could have sprained ur wrist or fractured (God forbid)   

Soni hope everything is going well for you....thinking of you  

Snowbelle..looking forward to the meet up.Look forward to the party for my sis...lol

JazakAllah to you all for your well wishes...this has been long awaited and w eare mashAllah very happy. Fazworld tell your sisters dont loose hope inshAllah when Allah wills it will happen. There is khair in everything as im sure you know.  The wedding plans have changed and now it will be inshAllah Jan/Feb in Pakistan. 

Sister C hope you are well....thinking of you


----------



## Iman

Wasalaams girls!

How is everyone??! I am trying to catch up with the posts but its so hard cos theres so much chat! lol I am pleased to see everyone is well insha'allah alhamdulillah....looking forward to the meet up!

No real news from me so much this end....I just came home though and we found a TOAD ( yes the slimy green hopping type!) on our stairs!! Goodness knows how it got there subhanallah..We live in a first floor maisonette and it was inside the front door on the carpeted stairs! I have NO idea how it got there! no-one near us has a pond - we live in the middle of London in a regular street not the country side! It was the most random thing ever....weird ...subhanallah! DH caught it in a tub ( after about 10 mins of it hopping all over the place, and goodness can they hop!! lol.......  ) and put it outside alhamdulillah. Freaked me out! we have had everything in this flat - about 4 different cats ( just invited themselves in) grasshopper, ,moths, spiders, butterflies, bees, wasps - its crazy - I swear they know its a muslim house! honestly I dont have any other explanation! 

Anyway sorry that was a bit random, lol, it just happened now.

Hope everyone is well insha'allah  - your all in my du'a. Sorry dont come on here more but I have no real news to be honest but Im keeping a close eye on all of you     my lovely sisters masha'allah  

May Allah swt grant us relief from our hardships, gratitude and humility insha'allah, Ameen.

xxx


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## Shino

Salaam Ladies!

Hope everyone is well! Thank you all for such a sweet welcome, I'm really looking fwd to meeting some of you on Sunday Inshallah!

I just read about your foot Snowbelle - it was very descriptive to say the least, I could feel everything whilst reading! Seems as though you have been through hell and back  , but at least alhamdulliah your on the road to recovery!!

Godswill - thank you so much for your kind words, do you know, that I had always wanted to name my future Son Zakariya? Mashallah you really hit the nail on the head 

Ren - thank you  I'm addicted already, esp finding you all here! I just have to get used to these smilies and abbreviations hehe, I'm a Law student - shortening words don't come easy to me haha! 

Iman - ooh I don't know how I would have coped in your TOAD situ, yuk I they give me the creeps - i'm sure I would have screamed the hpuse down  A Bengali friend of mine said to me, if I wanted to concieve I should have cats around me....well I'm kinda scared of cats too  but we have lots in the street that come to our garden and so many have come into our house and I have to shoo them away! There are just some strange superstitions out there!!

Had a tiring day at Uni, and got loads of seminar prep to do- in particular Land Law - very tedious subject indeed! My house is a tip and I can't be bothered to clean, its gonna have to wait, got an excuse after all - the 2ww!!

Lots of Love

Shino xxxxx


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## bagofnerves

ASA girls

I am new to this board and i hope you don't mind me joining you girls today. I have been reading the board for a while and have only posted a couple of times. I was very pleased to find this section on the board.

I have been ttc for the last 5 years, haing been married for nearly 7 years. I am 29 years old and DH is 34. we went through our first IVF/ICSI cycle and it is the end of our horrible 2ww tomorrow. I go for my blood test tomorrow and i am very nervous and scared. I have been very tearful since yesterday and have not slept at all for the last couple of days. I feel like my dreaded AF is on its way.

Please pray for me. I believe that it is all in His hands now. 

xxx


----------



## Shino

ASA Bagofnerves - gosh what a nick - please change it to something positive! I know you must be feeling down but try and stay positive and strong - we do not know most of the time what is good for us in our life, it is all in the hands of the Almighty and we should never lose hope, shall be praying for you and Inshallah you will get that BFP along with all the rest of us Ameen.

I'm also new too and already I feel at home  it's so nice to come here and read about other sisters experiences, their joys and sorrows.

Oh can someone send me some more bubbles as errmm....I just don't like the number 69!!!!!!!!!! 

Are the bubbles for good luck? Sorry so ignorant am I!!

Lots of Love Shino xxxxxx


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## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Welcome firstly to Shino and Bagofnerves  

Firstly - Bagonervers - I am     that you have good news today - IA.

Shino - I did a law degree in Brighton as well, a long long time ago mind - back in the early nineties - yes I'm really showing my age now - I bet some of you were born then     . I loved my time there, in fact it's where I met my dh  

Ren - that's really funny, as I was considering the name Zakariya  as well this time - both dh and I love it - am trying not to get too ahead of myself though as nuchal scan is next week, and until then it's just won't feel real. 

Thinking of you all sisters.
Mx


----------



## FazWorld

asa everyone... haw ya'll bin?

Warm welcome to sisters Shino and BagOfNerves...BagOfNerves you hit it on the head sister.. every single month we all are just that! 

We have decided that this month, when AF appears (she is expected any day now but Ramadhan may have put her schedule up the spout a bit!), I will begin my journey Insha allah once again for the last time. I have been put onto the long protocol.. ie 16+ days on the pill.. and then down-regs plus injections of Menopure (took Gonal F in the past). May Allah give me strength and sabr if it doesn't work this time, as I am really not going to try again after this attempt (I know I said that the last time). DH has said it is totally up to me - he is Alhumdolillah happy with our wonderful two already but is happy for me to try again if I want. I am just being greedy and wanting to feel preg one more time before even AF stops visiting! (For the newbies who don't know my story, I have two beautiful 5 year old daughters masha allah - gifts from Allah, with a little help of ICSI at Lister. They happened at my third attempt last time. In Feb'08 I had a failed ICSI and am trying one more time as I am now 44 Masha allah!)

Came into work a little later today. Dropped kids off to school (or rather they dropped me to the station!  ). Hadn't seen them in their uniform for weeks, cos I usually leave while they still having brekkie and by the time I get home they changed and watching telly!  I'm going to talk to HR about flexi hours.. maybe a few days working from home and maybe staggered hours for the rest of the week. I am missing out on such a cute time of their lives. Insha Allah that way I can get some quality time with them.

Maarias - Insha Allah your nuchal scan will be fine. I am going back to Lister again..

Sisters, I know you all are praying hard for everyone, but please remember me in your duas  
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Asalaam alaykum Everyone  

Alhumdulilah I am going to start with some very good news this morning,   I have officially been discharged from the breast department of the hospital   Alhumdulilah, and the even better news is that culturing my lump provided no nasties   and that the lump I had removed has no connection to breast cancer, and statistically I am at no greater risk because I had a lump than had I not had a lump  . So Inshallah my stats are just my increased basic stats (my maternal grandmother and mother have had it). I am just so relieved. On the way to the hospital yesterday I just felt so sick in the pit of my stomach and on the way back I felt elated!    and you know what this calls for ...party time in the mussie room!!!       

Bagofnerves:   a massive welcome to you, I really have to agree with Shino here, you need a positive name change...perhaps "I'm not a bag of nerves", or "bagofnerves never" or "me a bagofnerves ?"    Inshallah we would all love it if you would come to the FF meet up. I have sent you a PM (top right hand corner), if you send me a PM back I'll be able to send you the details   Inshallah praying really hard that you get a BFP!

Shino: Looking forward to meeting you on sunday   Whats the deal with the number 69  

Maarias: How cool that you met your DH at uni, thats just so sweet   I think if my DH and I had met at that time we probably would have run in opposite directions 

R4k: Ren you just have to believe the drugs are working on your DH and thats that! If they don't work then that the will of Allah(swt). There are so many children who need loving parents, and inshallah you could give as much love to that child as you would your own. I know I often go off on a tangent about adopting children but it is something that really affects me. DH and I often talk about it and inshallah it is something we would really love to do...

Godswill where are you?

love to everyone and talk soon

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salam All,

It's been a while since I've been in touch with all of you but all!!!!!!!!!Lots of chatting going around and new faces too........Welcome   to shiny and bagonerves and praying for ur good news soon  .

I thought I will update u all on my situation so please apologise me for no personals.  

Well went through another cycle with ARGC with lots of hope and fears(still going through them)!!!!!!Spent last 10 days of Ramadan mainly DRing and then at the Dring scan they found a cyst on the right ovary.............was shell shocked as never happened before and then typical ARGC style called me late pm saying need to aspirate the cyst prior stimmulation as I have already downreegulated hence rushed to clinic next day and cyst aspirated and started stimms same day hoping for everything to be alright now atleast.After just 4 days of stimms first scan and another shock as had few follies on the left side but right decided to go on a strike and no response  at all...............felt gutted!!!!!!!!!!!!since then kaept feeling maybe Allah is trying to tell me something and I should stop but all the doctors at the clinic kept saying u have plenty to go through and it only needs one.Well stimms continued and resided in ARGC for past 4/5 days even had IVIG on friday and then was scanned by Mr Taranissi on Saturday who again dismissed my pessimism with a smile and said to me that unless u want 10 babies u have plenty of follies in one ovary to work with and he will try to hold egg collection till Tuesday but me being ever so impatient gave a massive response to last stims given at midday on Saturday that they had to do egg collection yesterday and .......................we had 12 eggs collected from one ovary!!!!!!!!!!!  This is my personal best  .Had a call this AM and out of 12 8 were matured enough for ICSI and 6 have fertilized normally today!!!Now my pessimism has kicked in again.....don't want to think about it at the mo.Keep repeating to myself that now All is in Allha's Hands.It's hard to be positive but trying   

On the other hand,I have job interview next Tuesday for which I have to study this week and one of my good friends have also offered for work in the last week of October(another sign maybe of it not working this time  ).I have said yes to both offers and see what will happen next!!!!!!!

I want to thank all of u who kept me in ur thoughts and prayers!!!!Please keep doing this for little more time.I need some POSITIVITY!!!!!!!!and REASSURANCE and my special thanks to SNowbelle who listened to my moans and cries and kept me on the track!!!!Believe me I wouldn't have made it soooooooo far without you!!!!!!!!!  

Love and kisses to you all and take care,

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

wasalam sisters...

just a quick one

snow.........         excellent news hun....
i totally hear u about adoption...its sumthing i too feel so strongly about...if we could all have kids...then what would happen to those kids that dont have parents....khair in everything. Yes it would be nice to have our own children but (for me) if it doesnt happen then i know adoption is the next thing for us!! Allah knows best!

Soni....  for you hun. Plz plz remain  . Mr T is right it only takes one. mashAllah you have quite a lot there...so plz hun relax and remain  .  You are in our duas.


Love to all

xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Just to clarify everyone is welcome to the meet up inshallah (ie those with bambinos, and those without bambinos as well as those who are pregnant and those on the 2ww!). 

Inshallah, it is hard following everyone up to ask if they are coming, inshallah if you would like to come please, please can you PM me with your phone number included and then I will gladly send you the details once you have confirmed - as it affects the booking.

Inshallah looking forward to seeing you all

Love

Snowbelle


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## KittenPaws

Salaam Ladies

I'll be there with bells on! Im so excited, dreaming about the food from now! 

Snowbelle- Mashallah fantastic news about the all clear. I pray Allah keeps you in the best of health. 

I havent caught up on all personals but Soni please stay positive. Allah knows what is best for us and InshAllah you will have your dream and be given a beautiful healthy baby. Just keep strong, i know how hard it is and how much you just want to give up, but dont.  

I was reading somewhere, who liked the name Yahya? I love that name and its at the top of my boys name list. Mashallah it is a beautiful beautiful name. Not too common either.  Allahu Alim, best not get ahead of myself.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam Godswill     
Hang in there, it is hard but inshallah our time will come ...

much love  

Snowbelle


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## KittenPaws

Godswill please dont be upset. I know how hard it is, and how much at the time we just wished that was us. Ive been there so many times and it seems the pain will always be remembered. But I pray that Allah rewards all of us for our patience and InshAllah grants us all the best in both worlds.


----------



## Godswill

jzk sisters for the kind words....


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## KittenPaws

your welcome thats what we are all here for!


----------



## DreamTeam

Godswill - as KP says thats what we are here for, don't forget we've all been there. This place is fantastic for just letting it all out!


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## soni

Salam All,

It's me again.............can't you guys tell I am back  .

Godwill,   to you.Just stay positive...............it will happen and that what I am doing at the mo!!!!!!!!It will feel better with time and who knows u r on ur way to have kids soon Insha'Allah!!!!!!!!!!

KittenPAws, Thanks ever sooooooooo much foor ur words.They really mean a lot to me.  

Just a little teeny weeny favour from all of u.......keep me on the positive track for a little while!!!!!!!!!Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Barbiedoll, Thanks for ur message as well I tried to send u a message but ur inbox was full this AM!!!!!!!It will be great to see you on Sunday.Could you please send a personal message to Snowbelle with ur moblie number so she could let u know about the venue and time..................thanks hun!!!!  .I know she is bit busy today but will come back to you asap!!!!!!The more the merrier we are  

Iman, Shino, Ren, Fazeeeeee,Maarias, bagonerves................    to u all!!!!!

Me


----------



## KittenPaws

Ahhh happy family we are again! Lol, welcome back!  

Barbie doll i tried to PM you too, delete some PMs girl!!   

Im at home and Sooooooooooooo bored!


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## KittenPaws

Hey barbie doll, how are you hun?  

Sorry i missed your call the other day. Hows u? Hows likkle one? 

OH its like the old times, everyone is back!!!


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## KittenPaws

Guys im so fed up with things to cook, has anyone got a simple yet tasty thing i can whack together tonight? Something a but healthy too.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Just confirm our meetup is happening at this restaurant: www.satay-house.co.uk

@ 1pm on Sunday 12th October 2008.

Snowbelle

PS
If you have not already done so please confirm attendance by PM

/links


----------



## KittenPaws

chicken satay for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!


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## KittenPaws

Ladies did i miss something here? 

What has happened? I am talking of chicken satay and now we have no meetup? 

I feel in a very difficult situation and dont want my sisters to fight between each other i am sure that its all been a big fat misunderstanding.


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## KittenPaws

I echo all Godswill has said!!!!

Barbie & Snowy i want you both there. Becos this big fat preggo woman wants chicken satay and you are both going to let me have it!!! LOL     

Trying to cheer you all up, i hope it works.


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## Iman

Salaams sisters

What is going on??! I am very confused!  

I think that Godswill has given some fantastic advice masha'allah and I think the meet up should def go ahead too insha'allah for all who wish to be there insha'allah. 

Its not nice to see arguments and disagreements.  I dont really know what else to say except that I hope we can all come together again. 

Love you all for the sake of Allah swt too - lets sort this out insha'allah ( not least cos KP wants her chicken satay!)

xx


----------



## Godswill

Kitten has spoken....we can not ignore the request of a pregnant women mashAllah   that means we HAVE to ALL be there. If she wants chicken stay, she WILL have chicken satay.....!!!

Plz plz Allah let them sort it out...i dont like conflict...to much conflict out there as it is...we dont need it on here too!

Sisters if we can't unite together how will Allah ever fix the status of the Muslims....PLZ be friends...PLeeeassseeeee....with sugar on top!!! plzzzzzzzz


----------



## Iman

R4k 

Sis re your period pain - have you tried something called Feminax? you get it from the pharmacy, no prescription. Its a pain relief tablets specifically for period pain. Not tried it myself but hubby told me about it after he saw an advert on the tv !( bless!) Also try hot water bottle on your stomach. Hope you feel better soon.

Also Snow I forgot to say in the last message what wonderful wonderful news! Alhamdulillah!! you must feel very relieved, masha'allah I am very happy to hear you have been discharged with the all -clear.

Soni Maarias and Faz all in my du'a keep positive! Allah swt is watching over us. My friend sent me an ayat from Qur'an the other day via text ( I dont know the reference) it said: "When Allah swt is with you, what fear do you have? When Allah swt is against you, what hope do you have?" It stuck with me - Allah swt is with us insha'allah!!

Godswill I feel your pain sis - have had similar news myself recently. I seem to turn into a demented mad woman for about 5 minutes sometimes  - Im sure hubby gets flash backs of Mad May from Eastenders! - but it passes insha'allah. It is not jealousy - it is only sadness. But I am always boosted back on track when I remember the hadith ( Im paraphrasing) "A muslim is not truly a believer until he wishes for his brother ( or sister) what he wishes for himself" - Im actually beginnning to enjoy all others pregnancies now , with time it gets easier - I love picking them baby clothes and feeling them kick - its amazing masha'allah and I know I will be blessed myself insha'allah in due course, maybe in the same way maybe in another but Allah swt knows best. Keep strong sis.

Shino and bag of nerves - salaams and welcome to the gang! hope you enjoy the chats with us! If you havent already, add to your profiles your ticker along the bottom please so we can all keep up to date with you and your journeys insha'allah

KP - Im dying to know if you know whether its a boy or girl??! Or is it a secret/surprise??  

Barbiedoll hope the little one is well insha'allah and all is good insha'allah

Sister C hope you are well too insha'allah - let us know how you are.

Im sure I have missed someone in which case I sincerly apologise. Im off work today with a dodgy stomach ( curry yesterday - from a restaurant! I have very sensitive guts lol! ) and have been painting and nursing a tender tum.  Happy to report the toad was re-housed in a garden up the road. Still cant figure that out!! The most logical explanation is that a) it came in 2 days prior to us finding it when I left the front door open for about 15 mins while I washed my car ( but that measn ws in the house for 2 whole days and we didn't know!!) or b) someone put it through the letterbox!!  Subhannallah - Allah swt just said "Be" and it was....in my flat!! lol

xxxx


----------



## soni

Well I have to say that i am very sad and shocked to see what is happening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and even wonder where it all is coming from?

It's just NOT nice to judge each other like that!!!!!!Please keep it a friendly forum.We all are in it together Pregnant or not!!!!!!!!!!!

Snowbelle you have put soooo much effort into all this and it will be a true blow if u will not be there.Please don't do so.I am looking forward to seeing and meeting all of u.

Love,

Soni


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## KittenPaws

Iman- you are cracking me up! I swear we must all see a bit of Mad May in ourselves       DH used to say, thats me! I used to freak out! 

We didnt find out the sex, after the 20week scan and seeing that Alhamdulillah the scan showed everything was normal it didnt really matter so much. Before that me and DH were constantly battling, i wanted to know he didnt. I thought he can win this battle cos i get to pick all the nursery stuff!!!

i used to have frogs in my garden! my nephew used to call this the frog house!


----------



## Iman

Ren - keep it as a pet?? my MIL did make a joke about husbands, kissing toads and finding princes     lol...anyway alhamdulillah he was there to catch it in a tupperware box ( tupperware has SO many uses!) or dunno what I would have done!


----------



## KittenPaws

IMAN!! YUCK, i will never borrow your tupperware! lol      

and dont bring me any food in it!!!


----------



## Iman

The box went staright in the bin don't worry!! The toad was next to our shoe rack - Im just glad we found it in time and it didn't make its home in one of our shoes...can you imagine...all ready to go out, sweet smelling feet and you reach for your favourite pair......


----------



## KittenPaws

Oh you are disgusting woman! I feel ill.


----------



## Iman

KP -   lol! 

Ren - poor frog?!? my feet!! eeurgh...


----------



## KittenPaws

[fly]*GRIBBIT!!!*[/fly]


----------



## Iman

KP!!    

I must go now -DH is on his way home and I need to do something about dinner! feeling better stomach wise now but think should have something simple ( so no frogs legs on the menu tonight anyway!)

( ok ok , enough frog jokes I know!! )


----------



## bagofnerves

ASA sisters

Thanks for the duas and positive thoughts, i am absolutely devastated. I came home from work rang the hospital after reading my prayers and got the BFN. I have cried my heart out for the last couple of hours. My DH does not know what to say to comfort me. My older sister came round to comfort me and advised me to have sabr. she said that i must remain positive, but at this moment in time i am feeling very low. I know there are women on this board who have been trying for years and that this was my first attempt at IVF, but i had so much hope in my heart. 

I have been married for nearly 7 years and as you can probably appreciate i have had enough of all the questions of when i will decide to have a baby. I think women should stop asking such questions, everyone's personal circs are different. They think that i do not want to have children and that i am very career minded and a hard nosed b**ch but i am not. I just dont want to have to explain that DH and i have been ttc for a number of years and we have not been blessed to date. It makes me so angry. I know that this is a test that we are all going through and we will be blessed one day.

DH has a low sperm count and i suffer from endo and a blocked fallopian tube. after coming on here and reading the posts i am feeling slightly more positive but the tears are flowing away as i am typing. I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow...i dont think i can face it.

Forgive me for not getting names right etc...Snowbeel..i got your PM i'm sorry but i can't make it to the meet 'cos i live i Bradford. 

For the sister studying law...keep at it...I hated land law...i have been qualified for nearly 4 years...mashallah.

DH commented that alhamdulillah we are blessed with everything, a beautiful home, decent jobs but the one thing we crave is so far out of reach.

I am sorry that this message is so long but it has helped me to put these things down. I have never done that before and it helps...

Once i have been on here for a while i will become accustomed to using the smileys...   !!!!!

xxxxxx


----------



## KittenPaws

Dearest bagofnerves,

ASA. 

Sis please try not to cry. You remind me so much of me in what you said. Everyone used to think the same of me, oh she just thinks of study and career etc. But at the end of the day who cares what people think? Who are they anyway? 

Alhamdulillah you have said yourself how much you and hubby have been blessed with. I used to find comfort in that too, saying that we had so much but other people have it too and they have babies. We dont know the answer. Allah is testing us all and InshAllah with patience and guidance from Allah and him alone we will be rewarded in our lifetimes or the Hereafter. 

I tried for 6 years and nothing. I used to cry every month when the dreaded period came. I had a failed cycle of IUI and then tried again. I was convinced that it would be just me and DH and no children. But Alhamdulillah Allah showed me otherwise and showed us his mercy this year.  I pray that InshAllah he maintains this for us. 

Just keep strong in your Duas, prayer and InshAllah you will find peace with whatever Allah decrees. Its hard, i know that. But please dont cry. Read Surah Maryam , it always gives me peace in my heart.


----------



## Godswill

wa'salam w'r'w'b sisters...


KP, Imaan and ren you guys are jokers.... lol lol lol   sick but funny!!

Bagofnerves ...ahhhh big big   hun. Time is the best healer hun....You cry all you want, let it all out....inshAllah ur next go will result in a  
dont quite know what else to say apart from remain   and just ignore the aunties...they have nothing better to do than gossip. MashAllah you have loving husband, gr8 jobs  and health mashAllah.  I know ppl who have kids and are in a miserable marriage, just married for the sake of it. Everyone is tested in different ways. Our turn will come soon inshAllah.


Take care hun

xxx


----------



## Iman

bagofnerves

Very sorry sis to hear your news. Be strong...your in my du'a.     take your time sis .

With regards to what your DH said....its very similar to what my DH said to me when I was upset a few days ago. This life is a test from Allah swt - it is full of tests. Everyone has their different tests. Alhamdulillah he and I have jobs, a roof over our heads, money in our pockets, food, family, friends, jobs and have been guided to the Straight Path alhamdulillah. If everything went right for us - what tests would we have? Although its hard it is better to be tested in this life in order to prove ourselves then to have no tests and on the Day of Judgement have no way to show ourselves or prove ourselves....We all have our different tests, some people its marriage, or family or money - for us its children....Just make your du'a sister, keep asking Allah swt because He loves to be asked and He will grant you relief to your hardship. We are all hear for you  

xx


----------



## Shino

Salaams Ladies

Gosh alot has happened since I last posted....which was only last nite! 

Bagofnerves - I am sooo sorry you had bad news today   I know exactly what you mean by people commenting and saying oh shes interested in herself only and her career and money - when they are so ignorant of the truth making assumptions, I mean I think i'm such an expert at knicker checking it's untrue!! Every month near the time for AF's arrival, for years have been knicker checking  *sigh* and no I'm not mad, I'm sure alot of you will relate to me in that!!

I will pray that we all get our BFP's soon, but never stop asking from Allah, you never know when he will grant our wish  - I was born in Bradford   I left when I was around 2 still have my uncles and family there , Mashallah are you practising as a Solicitor or Barrister? I intend to do the LPC course next year Inshallah and try and get a training contract - it's so competitive at tho! 

Godswill - every other woman I know falls pregnant, its seems so more obvious doesn't it when your trying for own child, my sister who is 10 yrs younger than me is pregnant and she got married in January last year - I have been married for almost 11.5yrs, yet she will provide the first grandchild of the family- and circumstances are such that we both are not on talking terms not due to her being pregnant but something else - I don't even want to get into how it made me feel, but again this is Allahs will, this is a test for all of us. I even know of a woman who aborted her child purely because she thought she was too old ( she was only around 40 at the time) and she thought it was be a shame on her family - how ridiculas is that - that made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach....  those who are desperate for a child can't have any and those who arent are blessed 

Iman - I don't think your frog stories will end! hehe but it's funny!!

Ren and KP your a barrell of laughs! hehehe KP congrats on your pregnancy  may Allah swt bless you with a righteous child ameen 

Snowbelle (((( whats happeninggggggggggg, I'm not going if your not going, purely because I agreed to go on your generous invite, no disrespect to the other sisters at all, I agree with everybody we should all unite and get on..I don't actually know what the issue is, but I really hope it gets sorted out soon, and I want my chicken satay too!!! Plus I am soo happy that your health alhamdulliah is on the mend and you have the all clear!! Must be a true burden off your shoulders! So you have to have Satay with us to celebrate!!!

Maarias- what a small world! you studied at Brighton too!! You must have good memories of it if you met your DH there!! did you go to Sussex or Brighton Uni? I'm at Brighton Uni 

As for me, I'm on day 5 of the 2ww, the temptatiion to take an early pregnancy test is strong  but I won't give in, not till 10 days have passed at least  I feel absolutely fine, but today I felt a bit sick and I think my blood pressure went really low today beacause I was shaking earlier at around 4pm - I had a late breakfast but was ravenous at 3ish and felt like I was about to faint If i didnt get any sugar or food in me!! Very strange!! I don't want to read too much into things...I'm analysing every twinge and ache, havent got as far as boob pinching yet hehehe and also feeel like my stomachs bloated...oh AF please don't come!!!

Salaamz to Soni 

Sorry if I missed anyone - love to you all and my duas are with you all!!

Shino xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum everyone,

Alhumdulilah thank you for all the texts and messages of support  .

Inshallah I will see you all on Sunday.

I will put a proper post up later as I have to go for physio.

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Hope u all are ok and feeling positive  .Me is trying very hard as well!!!!!!!!!  

Shino, good luck on your 2ww.Hoping and praying for some good news from u and all the sisters!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is really very hard to go through infertility!!!!!!!!!May Allah give us strength and Sabr to deal with it and we all have positive outcomes at the end of it.............Ameen!!

I just want to share my thoughts on the current situation between 2 FF's.I have to say that I found the comments in the original post very '' harsh ''.I think things have been dealt in according to the rules of the board which is fair ............ what we all have to be careful about expressing ourselves carefully!!!!!!!!I hope this situation resolves quickly without causing further heartache to anyone....  .

I hope I haven't offended anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!hope u all have a very nice day.

Love,

Soni


----------



## soni

OMG Barbiedoll, you have withdrew your previous post again!!!!!!!!!!

I am completely LOST!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Godswill

Salam sisters....  

what's going on sisters....plz sort it out.    

I agree with soni!!

Any how, how r u Soni??


----------



## soni

Awwwwwwwww Dibley, Thanks for your kind words and please do join us if u can!!!!!!!Even if u r in London sometime let us know and we will arrange a special one just for u  !!!!

And just to let u all know I started writing my diary yesterday..........It's in ICSI diaries with my name if anyone fancies reading it  .

Godwill   ,thanks for thinking about me and rest of the ladies,where are u all hiding??

Love,

Soni


----------



## KittenPaws

Salam everyone.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone,

Bagofnerves: I was so sorry to hear your news. Inshallah you just need to stay positive and inshallah the time will come.

Shino: Thinking about you on your 2ww  . I was so gutted to hear about your person who aborted because she was 40 
It so strange that on one hand there are women who have what we want just like that, and others who have to endure everything and still get nothing. My DH consoles me a lot saying no matter what we will have children in our lives, inshallah.

Soni - Yes I did see your ICIS diary. I found it really interesting especially past a certain point I have no knowledge and compared to many Mr Snow and I are really on the start of our journey. I kept a diary in the TTC naturally section and found it was really helpful to just vent and in a sense it was quite useful for my relationship with DH because I probably said a lot of things that I wouldn't have in a normal conversation. Inshallah I'm praying really hard that this cycle works for you guys, as you have been through so much!

Godswill: I was so sad to hear of your niece. Alhumdulilah it shows that death comes to us all...a very dear friend of mine (actually he used annoy me to bits but was dear nonetheless) died after Ramadan when I was 21   the truth is I never really got over it and what annoys me the most is that I can't actually remember the last time I saw him  . Inshallah I pray that Allah(swt) showers his remah on them and grants them jannat.

Ren - Still asking the same question - did you ask GP for some meds for the clots  

KP - wa'laykum salam  

Iman: All I can say if there had been a toad in my house I would have screamed the house down!  

Inshallah take care everyone and inshallah see you on sunday  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## KittenPaws

Lol, didnt i write such a big message! LOL

i started to type it then got pulled away. Im sitting at my desk munching on cookies and orange juice! MMMmmmm


----------



## DreamTeam

Ren - I know I've said this before, you really should not be having clots. Believe me I know how painful and distressing they are. Even if you go to A and E they will be able to give you the meds so that you don't clot...why wait and put up with the pain The meds are really good literally you with 3 x a day with meals and by the end of the first day you feel really good and stop (virtually) giving birth to clots. Please go to the doctor sooner!

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
I have just come back from the shops and I have a minor disaster on my hands...Superdrug have stopped selling insect repellent and sun cream /after sun       any ideas where I can get some DH probably won't get on the plane without any!!!

much love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Well Snowbelle, i must say u  r very well organised!!!!!!!!!!!!For us it is usually Boots at the airport with last minute shopping and we always get good bargains over there especially BOGOF offers.I think they have never let us down and we have always successfully boarded the plane as my DH is also very concious about these matters.............  

Hope it helps!!!!!!

Soni


----------



## DreamTeam

you hit the nail on the head there - I'm the organised one DH is totally disorganised. The only thing he is fixated on is getting to airport really early...and I mean really early. When he was little (he lived in another country) they used to come back to visit and DH and his parents would reach the airport before it had even opened!!!


----------



## soni




----------



## DreamTeam

I'm not even joking!!!

Even now for a 11:30 flight he says we should leave the house at 5:30am!!! BTW we live in zone 3!


----------



## KittenPaws

Evening all! 

Hows everyone doing? Im bored , DH has gone to football and there is nuthing on tv....  

My cat is following me around and is trying to type you'all a message! lol

Snowbelle your DH sounds like my mum! She is such a nutcase on time management! I sometimes tell her i think she has slight OCD when it comes to time! LOL. She will be there early, check her watch a zillion times because "i hate to be late" she says! "    

Ren- when do u get clots? During a period? I used to get massive ones and the dr said its normal as it is just your bodies natural way of getting large amounts of blood out. It means that you get heavy periods, like i did and there usually is absolutely nothing to be worried about. But of course you must see a dr to make sure your not anaemic etc. Also they will check for such things as fibroids, thyroid, polyps etc. But please just go check it out, it is probably absolutely nuthing!  

Love to everyone else xoxo


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

How much I have enjoyed reading all the posts including those where there was a bit of confusion. Ren please get yourself a second opinion - that much pain and clotting can't be normal or we'd know about it.
Soni, Iman, Godswill you are in my thoughts and as I read the posts I make du'a for those who ask so always remember to ask as it helps to make us remember.
Salam aliakom and nice to meet you to bagofnerves and shoni.
I don't think I've ever seen a toad. They are not indigenous to Ireland. Are they wild in England or imported via pet shops?
I reallly laughed as I read the last 4 or 5 pages of posting. Thank you all.
I have a few questions though. What does ARGC mean? How do you get the ticker things at the bottom of your posts. What do you mean when you say "Khair" on it's own? I've only ever come across it on this board and I don't understand it?
I am on CD2 which means I start the Clomid again tonight. Insha Allah on Friday week we have our appointment with HARI and hopefully they will do something about dh's retrograde ejaculation.

A sister I've not seen in a while replied to my Eid Mubarak text telling me that her husband died last May. It made me think of my marriage. Even though things are tough now (I'll tell you later insha Allah) it made me realise that I'd rather have my dh in his worst mood than have him dead. I feel so insecure I'd like to surgically attach myself to dh under his skin.

He has packed up everything - he says we are moving but he doesn't know where to or when and I hate this feeling because audhu billah there is wiswas telling me he is going to divorce me and leave and go live by himself. I am upstairs reading your posts and he is downstairs with the landlord. Insha Allah I will go and find out what the result of the discussion was.

Oh and about the ties of kinship - do they apply to ****** relatives who hate Islam and who are really nasty? I have a blood uncle who is really mad at me. I don't think he ever liked me but it has become much more obvious since my father died and he is not doing his job as an executor and when I wrote and told him that he was not respecting my father he said I had to write and apologise which I did but he had some "important" birthday this year and I wasn't invited. I didn't care but thought I'd better do something so I did a thing I don't think I've done in 8 years - I sent him a birthday card. I got no reply. Do I need to do anything further islamically?

Please keep me and my marriage in your du'as, and if you get a chance please answer the questions I asked about love and marriage and islamic values.

Love to all
SisterC


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sister C

I plan to reply properly to you tomorrow insha'allah as its late and Im tired at the moment but I thought I post a picture of a toad just for you to see:

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/118229/2/istockphoto_118229_american_toad.jpg

This one says American but looked just like the one in my house! They are wild as far as I know!

ANyway hope that made you smile ( and not cringe!)

I hope all is well insha'allah and the move is to somewhere new and positive for you and your DH insha'allah.

much love - will post more tomorrow insha'allah to you and all the girls

xx

K.P - I think the toad is looking at you!!  lol!!

/links


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

The toad looks beautiful. Why did the "hostess" not keep it as a pet? My mother loved terapins. She was an invalid for quite a while and her maiden sister had bought a house and Mammy brought them to her as a house warming present, thinking that she needed an animal to look after as she had no family of her own. It was in a clear plastic bag and Daddy held it up to show my aunt and she recoiled from the "creepy crawlie" in horror. So Mammy brought it home with her and it gave her hours of fascination! Daddy always maintained that the aunt should have said "thanks very much" and thrown it out when they left but my father never liked her any way!

C


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

by the way, is the toad poisonous? I think I remember hearing something about them and warts when I was a child?
C


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## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone   
...and so the toad goes on!! I've been dying to say that since I heard about it! I think toads must be indigenous to the Uk, as they are frequently referenced: Wind in the Willows I'm sure had a toad in it, theres "toad in a hole", witches are always making things with toads (think Meg and Mog aside from Mr H Potter) etc. I'm still laughing of the thought of SisterC turning up with a toad as a house warming pet   . Iman what have you started This 'toad' talk isn't finishing!!! 

SisterC: DH did a lot of research into Islamic obligations towards non muslim families and the issue of cutting ties. Essentially he found that the only obligation (in terms of maintaining family ties) is towards your parents (mother and father) and no one else. Like all things though, cutting ties is an extreme solution but one only where there is (like Godswill has said) no other solution. Inshallah I pray that your family come round to accept your decision, in the same breath as I pray for DH and everyone else who has non muslim families. Inshallah Allah(swt) will unblock their ears, open their eyes and break open the chains on their hearts, may they exhale the shaitan and inhale the beauty of Islam - ameen.  

ARGC - is a private clinic that Soni attends

Ren, hun, I would love to put you in my suitcase but I'm warning you its quite full already!! For starters there is Soni and her DH, my podiatrist, the physio, the hydro physio, the nurse who gave the injections AND then some!!! Inshallah I'm praying that we enjoy ourselves, it has been a very very long year for me and I need the holiday!


Shino, bagofnerves, Soni, Fazworld, KP  

love

Snowbelle


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## FazWorld

ASA guys

well - AF appeared yesterday - soooo started my pill today (can't remember if I said Bismillah!!  )... got to take that for 14+ days, then have a scan.. then 7 days d/r ..then scan.. then injections of menopure..getting my meds from Ali the Chemist in Shadwelll, London. He is a brother (AH) and his prices are very reasonable .

I am a bit scared that it won't work as its my last go now.. done everything to dupe what I did last time... did the vits for 6 months, gonna do the AHatching etc ..only thing I can't do is turn the body clock back 6 years.. 

please please ladies pray du'a that it works for me...  

Fazworld


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## Godswill

wa'salam

Wow Faz....u have started ur journey....ahhhh i am praying   that it all goes well for u hun and u get a   ...please please Allah let us have some  on this thread...Ameen

OMG snow not long to go at all....u deserve it after the year u have had.....may Allah grant u ease through all ur troubles...Ameen


Soni....where are you ....i have to read todays diary and catch up  

Nearly choked on a humbug earlier..then went into a violent cough attack....wow.....dont worry still here to tell the tale....   

Ren u joker..dont want to go to work...i feel like that all the time...please dont self harm today...lol.....


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## DreamTeam

Salams
Just a quick one to say I am praying really hard for Fazie, Soni, SisterC that your TX work and not forgetting those on the 2ww Shino inshallah. I think KP was our last BFP so inshallah we are due another ASAP(!!!) no pressure girls!

Much love

Snowbelle


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## KittenPaws

Ooooh InshAllah will be making lots of dua for you'all! 

We need lots more BFPs   

Im at work, so fed up. People here make me sick. Stress me out and i just want to run far away!!!!


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## Godswill

Ahh kitten    not long to go ...then no more work for you....yippeeee hang in hun.


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## DreamTeam

...and heres me so fed up of being at home I need to be doing something ie NOT visiting hospital!!!

      and         for everyone

love

Snowbelle


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## KittenPaws

Its not the actual job, i love what i do. But its the people. They are all manic! Im telling you they drive me bananas!   

I have only 2 hands and 8 hours in a day work time, they think im super woman! LOL 

InshAllah only 5 weeks to go! Countdown or what!! Then im outta here for a whole year! 

Snowbelle your so lucky going to malaysia. MashAllah its a beautiful place. Ive been there many times especially as a child. It wasnt too far from us living in Australia and my mums uncles, aunties and cousins all live in KL so we used to love to visit. Where abouts are you going? I want to next time IA take my hubby he has never been. I want to try and go to Penang on the next trip. 

Who choked on a humbug? Now im going to buy some after work, i feel like eating them. I think we need to ban food talk on here, becos u say it and then i wanna eat it!  

Iman hows toady? seen him around lately


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## soni

And me as well, who just hates to be at home but don't fancy going to work either............it's a no win situation!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salam All, hope u all are well!!!!!!!!!!!Lots of potential BFP'S and I am praying hard for everyone!!!!!!!!!!  

Well I am finding it really hard to stop eating and it is not any ordinary food I am craving.......I am craving lots of indain spicy,savoury food.Not really brilliant when I am already on pessaries which make u bloated and constipated......Me and DH have been trying really hard to stick with plain soups, biscuits,fruit/veg but I just can't help it.........just had a bite of fresh tamarinds and feeding piclkled onions,gherkins whatever is present in the lader!!!!!!!

Any tips to save me from drowning myself into my world of cravings...............Snowbelle I am thinking of that special guacomole and salad thing at ur place as well.............can I have little bit please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Love to u all,

ME


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## KittenPaws

Soni - im not with your tx cycle but are you due to test for pg? With those food cravings you sound like i did. 3-4 days before test day i went off meat, craved mango juice & spicy food (which i dont usually crave?). I remember one day being at a wedding and my BIL had mango juice and i just keep getting getting more!!!


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## soni

Kittenpaws    thats what I normally eat as well.I can easily eat whole bottle of pickled gherkins in a day.When I was little my mum use to hide dried plums and tamarind from me because i would just eat them without thinking twice.I am still waiting for embryo transfer so no way I am preggers............it's just hormones and medicines making me feel like it i guess but whatever it is I am just not able to stop myself


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## Godswill

With all that eating Soni i pray u are preggers inshAllah...u have the same as KP and KP is preggers mashAllah...so i hop u are too ...dont mean to get ur hopes up...but inshAllah i am being   yooohhhhoooooo party time in here soon inshAllah

inshAllah soni, Faz and shino, sister c (i think) are next in line    

Then its us ladies.... snow, ren, bagofnerves, Iman and off course ME....    (hope i havent missed anyone)..soz if i have


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams,
We are going to spend about 4 days in KL then we go to Pangkor Island for a week, and then we go back to KL. The idea is to do as much sight seeing as possible in the first KL trip and then do the big day trips out and hit the shops on the 2nd trip to Kl. DH is saying he'll come to the shops (bless him) but he HATES shopping - the poor man physically goes the shops once a year on my bday and that it!!! It'll be DH's first trip to a muslim country, I think he is quite starry-eyed about it but I imagine it'll be like any other (good, bad and plain ugly), but he also seems to think it will quite like HK...me on the other hand, I have no expectations!

Soni - you can have anything you want to - only thing is I don't do home delivery    Inshallah all your little cravings are sign that your fertilized embies will hang on tight once they are in you...has it happened yet Do you know how many they will put in this time

KP - if you start mat leave in 5 weeks, whens the bambino due?? The next day  Inshallah the birth etc goes really well and you and the bambino come through safely inshallah.

lots of love

Snowbelle


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## Godswill

Snow one request ....plz plz take of ur signature... "wish u weren't here" we only want    pleeassseee    hope u dnt mind me saying that!!


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## DreamTeam

Godswill - I forgot I put that on a particularly miserable day , alhumdulilah feeling very                            so yes it has gone - with pleaseure!


----------



## Godswill

MashAllah


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## soni

My all dear sweet friends, I have NOT done embryo transfer yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It will be done Insha'ALLAH on Saturday and we are hoping and praying for 2 blasts this time too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but it brings me so much happiness and comfort to see that u all are with me and praying for us.

Wow KP,time has just flown by hasn't it!!!!!!!!!5 weeks to mat leave.............. no wonder u can't wait to get out of ur job!!!!!!!Insha'Allah all will be well and u and bubba will be fine.Can't wait to see u both  .

Snowbelle,don't forget to have laksa in Pangkor island and have a extra one for me toooooooo!!!!!!!!!  I just love it!!!!

Godwill and Ren,bagonerves,Maarias,Iman,Fazee


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## DreamTeam

Soni - if you want we can ring you up on sunday and give you an interactive version of the meet up 

OOooo this is soooo exciting Soni - my mum is telling me to send you her love and that she is praying for you  

Just waiting for DH and his friend to come get me then we are going to get some food from Tooting! I feel Soni as if I need to ask what you'd like


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## soni

Snow just let me know where u r going and I will see u all there with my DH  !!!!!!!

Oh send ur mum my love and thanks.........................u've just bought tears to me eyes!!!!!!!!

Godswill, I will pray really hard that u don't ever have to understand the lingo and go through the same which I've been through.Infact I wish no one goes through it ever and u all have natural miracles Insha'Allah!!!!!!!

Love u all!!!!!!


----------



## Shino

salaaam ladies

wow I feel soo out of the loop, so many posts, mashallah this thread is very active, I can't keep up!!

Soni - GOOD LUCK for the ET, inshallah your frosties will make us proud and we will get another BFP!!! Please pray that my test is positive, i'm on day 7 of 2ww. Oh I wish I had some cravings....!!

FAZ - may your treatment go with ease inshallah  and result in a little faz junior!!

Snowbelle - thank you soo much for your duas, we all need all the prayers we can get, Inshallah I hope all your difficulties and health problems disappear  I'm so excited for you on your trip to Malaysia, I have ALWAYS wanted to go there, such a beautiful country....ahhh you lucky thing, but you FULLY deserve a lovely holiday, make sure you take lots of pics for us to see!!

Godswill - my sister how kind of you to be so concerned about my issues  we are all here for us all to give each other advice as true sisters, why would I get offended? Inshallah I know everything will be ok..its a matter of time...things don't happen overnight, however I think I have had family problems since the day I was born...but it only makes you stronger as a person alhamdullillah.

SisterC - This is a testing time for you, I fully appreciate what your going through...husbands can be funny creatures can't they? agree with REN, you sometimes have to bite your tongue and lose the battle to win the battle...I hope you don't try to stress too much abt things

Iman - your toad gave me a right old fright - I seriously am glad that it decided to vidit you and not me, how scaryyyyyyyy, imagine if you kissed it and it turned into a prince - but as your son!! Miracle!!

Ren - I used to do night shifts, can't bear thinking about doing them anymore, hated waiting allday to go to work, the time goes so quickly and you just play the waiting game!! 

KP - you should be taking it easy in your condition   5 weeks must seem ages away for you! But I suppose it's better to be busy rather than count the days will your beautiful baby arrives inshallah..the anticipation must be sooo great!! I hope all of us sisters get to experience what your going thru inshallah  


I'm on day 7 of 2ww, boobs are hurting, back is hurting, and odd twinges in belly....what could it be...gosh...I just want this week to be over! but I'm half way there!! And yes we need some BFPS...inshallah I hope not to disappoint! Along with the other sisters Inshallah. 

Had Lectures today and have so much prep to do, so am glad that I am busy with Uni, this week has gone faster than I expected.

Salaams to everyone else I may have missed and hope everyones rocking 

shino xxxxxxxxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Once again  Jezach Allah khair for your support and advice. 

Hope you have a great trip Snowbelle insha Allah, not like the last "trip"

Ren - why do you have a job at all? You obviously don't like it? Can't you afford to stay at home or do some study in something you would actually enjoy?

I have a cat too. His name is Ginger and he is a great comfort to me masha Allah.
C


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## Godswill

Wa'salam sisters....

Shino...  ur family reminds me of ours...yup ever since i can recal my family have had feuds.....Allah knows best.

Im sure u and ur sister will sort it out inshAllah..

Ren...boy u definitly have a sweet tooth.....cheese cake, chocolate bun...im hungry already... 

I have an interview next wekk with a girls school as a finance officer...i am hoping i get it inshAllah. 

Snow how was ur take out.... 

Anway speak laters...


----------



## KittenPaws

Salam to everyone. 

Thanks all for you well wishes, jazakhallah means alot. Yeah IA i start leave in 5 weeks. I have 3 and half weeks annual leave left so i will take that and then maternity leave will start about 5 weeks before EDD. I am so happy i had that annual leave other wise id still be here another 8 weeks!  

Hows everyone today? Looking forward to satay sunday!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
We didn't end up going for Pakistani food last night, we ended up in one those fusion chinese places where they have chinese, thai and japanese menu...let just say there were 3 of us and we something from each menu!

KP : Satay Sunday   

GW: Inshallah hope the job interview goes well - definitely feels like a wind of change is breezing through this room!

SC: Alhumdulilah Carima is such a lovely name...

lots of love to everyone   I've got to go to physio in a bit so hence the short message!

love

Snowbelle


----------



## KittenPaws

Hey godswill, come to rescue you! What do you do for work? Are you based in London??


----------



## DreamTeam

salam everyone
Just back from physio - my foot is sooooooooooooo tired! I could just fall asleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Godswill - you are in for a surprise once you hear KP talk    ! I love kofteh mmmm!

Ren  - where abouts are you in Manc? Its funny to hear you talk about sweets etc, as I too have the dreaded sweet tooth  

Snowbelle - about to collapse on the sofa!


----------



## Godswill

Saaalaaaaammmmm Snow....

Ahhh u poor thing...its all good though as it means ur on the road of recovery inshAllah.  

LOL bring it on KP...i like a good ol natter ....  

Cant wait to meet you all...and put proper names to you


----------



## KittenPaws

Haaa haaaa thanks snow! 

Godwill (can i call u GW?) i have lived in london for nearly 7 yrs (March 09). Im born and bred down under. Gday mate! Put a shrimp on the barbie and all that.... LOL. From melbourne in Australia. All my family are there.

Whos talking about curry? Im off to MILs tonight, gonna tuck into a curry there most prob. 

Who is on the list to attend sunday?


----------



## KittenPaws

Haahaa! I do have a weird old accent. When ive been there it gets stronger and if im around aussies it does other wise its dies down, but never too long gone. LOL. Now im going to be cautious as everyone will be tuning into my accent, heee heee! I'll start with a Gday mate! 

I didnt get any humbugs   DH didnt pick them up. I had a nice banofee cheesecake tho. It was oh so yummo!


----------



## soni

Seems to be lots of food talk going around    .............. Is anyone hungry and craving sweets??

Seems u guys will have lots of fun on Sunday Insha'Allah!!!!!!!!!! Will miss u all


----------



## Godswill

Yes lots of food talk..hehehe lol

Dont worry KP i will give u humbugs  

Soni ...ahhh im sorry we will miss u   but u have a big mission which is more important. inshAllah all goes well hun  

ummm i feel liek a cheese cake now   ...or a chocolate fudge cake.....yum yum yum


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## KittenPaws

Ladies gotta run. 
If i dont catch u tomorow, see u sunday IA
Love & salaam to all

mwah mwah mwah


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

All this talk of food and I thought I'd let you know what we are having for dinner tonight insha'allah - Chicken Casserole! mmm....nice and easy - chuck chicken cubes, potatoes ( cut up) and all sorts of veg in a oven proof pot, some yoghurt, spices, vegggie stock and water and let it slow cook! yum yum, serve with rice!

Godwill - you know what my real name is! lol...Also looking forward to sunday insha'allah  - food and chat - my 2 favourite things!! 

see you there insha'allah 

xx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

I didn't mean to put my name on any posts on this board because I have been talking about very personal things that I don't want anyone to know who I am or who my husband is, so please just think of me as SisterC.

You know how we are not supposed to take anything for granted, to live like travellers and live each day as if it would be our last - well I find that hard to do, but when I am going through all this trouble with my husband it is teaching me. My dh has a history of just disappearing - leaving the women in his life without anyone knowing where he is. He emigrated without telling his mother he was going. He left another long term relationship which I don't know was a marriage or not but it lasted 6 years and he left the country without telling her and never looked back. I just feel so scared that dh will disappear on me. I asked him to promise me he wouldn't and he said he would not even promise that to his mother, so he definitely won't promise me. I feel like I am living on a knife edge. So insecure in my relationship because dh is so unpredictable. I never understood the expression "he would cut off his nose to spite his face" until I married my husband. It was an arranged marriage of course but when I got to know him I understood this saying for the first time ever. He really does crazy things to make someone that has displeased him angry - he says it is to teach them or to show them, but it never seems to me that there is any logic to it at all.

I have a lot of questions I want to explore about muslim marriages and maybe there is a forum for this separate from FF. If anyone knows a better place for me to air my concerns please let me know.

I am now down the country away from my husband for 4 days. I got this place a few years ago when I left dh because he started drinking alcohol. When he stopped I went back to  him but I kept my stuff down the country. I have a lot of stuff, and he wanted me back promising that we would pray together and have a baby and everything I wanted if I would just go back to him. I wanted to move my stuff back in but he wouldn't let me. When he was doing his big pack-up this last week he insisted that I put all my belongings into bags and bring them down the country. I still have my clothes in his house and some books that I use for teaching, but the books are in bags ready to be loaded into the car at a moment's notice. All I have left to pack is my clothes and the stuff on my dressing table.

I was with the GP today about my back - have to have it X-rayed on Monday. I hadn't been to the GP in about a year. The doctor spoke to me a bit about my marriage. We talked about worst case, middle case and best scenarios and he says he thinks I am very together especially since the last time I saw him and I know I can deal with whatever Allah sends because He promised He doesn't give us a burden that we couldn't bear. Alhamdililah my bipolar depression and OCD are both under control at the moment. All the physical pain this month - the mouth, the back and the effects that the financial situation have been having on my dh have lessened the TTC stress because I was just too sore to do anything and dh is so down, that I am more worried about saving my marriage than conceiving. He doesn't seem to have any interest in me sexually - not just now, but ever since he started his business a few years ago. The only part of me that I KNOW he likes is my hair - which isn't saying much. I wonder what is wrong with me. Is it because I am fat? Is it because he is just not interested in me that way? Why is it? What's wrong with me? When we do the bd it is exactly that - it is trying to conceive, not love or even lust. He is so stressed about money and debt, and not having enough work and he doesn't like me to touch him - to stroke his arm in affection and sympathy. He rejects all that saying he is not a child. I come from a very demonstrative family and dh is not naturally demonstrative - he sees it as weakness, but he is wonderful with children, with my aunts, with my family. It's just we never go anywhere or do anything together. It is like we never merged into a couple. When we were first married we both had our own apartments and then after a year or so we took a house together, and ran the business from there. We have had marriage counselling from the beginning when he totally humiliated me by lifting my jilbab to check that I was wearing trousers underneath. That was in the first month of marriage and set off alarm bells so I dragged him to the Skeikh. He also thought that women's voice was awrah and that we have to walk with our heads down and our eyes on the road. We went to London when we got married and I love architecture and he got annoyed with me for looking up.

Now I am trying to have the attitude "he is a free man. If he wants me he'll keep me and if he doesn't he'll divorce me or leave. I don't want someone to be with me unless they want to be with me" and whatever is written is written. But I just feel so sad. Everyday I am crying and calling out to Allah. I miss him so much. I miss knowing he loves me. And I so so regret that weekend when I went mad on the Clomid - he was punishing me for something and I kept ringing him and leaving hysterical messages because he wasn't around at OV time. I know he hasn't forgiven me for that although he doesn't say soAlso he has recently started going on the internet when I am not around. His password to his computer is top secret and he makes such a big deal of hiding when he is entering it. I just feel so insecure. He says that when glass is broken it can't be fixed and that my tongue needs to be cut out. Many many evenings I am not allowed to speak at all. He will just say "don't talk" so I talk to the cat instead. I feel so lonely and ashamed and a failure as a woman, as a wife and even as a muslim.

Next Friday insha Allah we go to the HARI clinic. I can only wait and see. 

Please sisters keep me in your du'a.
SisterC


----------



## Iman

oh sister    

That is such a sad post and story, I really feel for you. I dont really know what advice I can offer you. I think that at the moment you must concentrate on your marriage and yourself. Im not saying stop the visits to the clinic etc but I think your enegies and thoughts must be more focused on the marriage with your DH. Because if you do have a child with him insha'allah then it must come into a home where both parents are secure with one another - but I think you know that. Sorry ,hope have not upset you more. 

Marriage couselling is definately a good idea if possible insha'allah and stick with it.  You must keep making your du'a and pray istikhara insha'allah. Maybe it is better for you to be in your own place for a while and time apart may make him come to his senses and treat you in the way you deserve to be treated - as the wonderful wise, beautiful muslimah that you are.


Remember these ayats insha'allah I hope they comfort you:

Therefore be patient with a patience which is beautiful. (70:5)

Restrain yourself patiently with those who call on their Lord morning and evening, desiring His face. Do not turn your eyes from them, desiring the attractions of this world. And do not obey someone whose heart We have made neglectful of Our remembrance and who follows his own whims and desires and whose life has transgressed all bounds. (18:2

Say: 'My Lord has commanded justice. Stand and face Him in every mosque and call on Him, making your religion sincerely His. As He originated you, so you will return.' (7:29)

Call on your Lord humbly and secretly. He does not love those who overstep the limits. (7:55)

(Believers are) those who give in times of both ease and hardship, those who control their rage and pardon other people- Allah loves the good-doers. (3:134)

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease. (94:5-6)

And this one - you will have your happiness insha'allah

Those who believe and do right actions, happiness will be theirs and a wonderful Homecoming. (13:29)

Please take care of yourself and let us know how you are insha'allah and if there is anything we can do to help.At the very least there is a listening ear for you here and shoulders to lean on insha'allah

much love

xxx

p.s. if you go back to your previous post I think you can click 'modify' (top right hand corner) and remove the details you do not wish to be there IFKWIM.


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## Dibley

Sister C

I've removed your personal name  

And just to let you know I'll be   for you & Dh too 
Take care hun 

Love Dibley (Board Mod)


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Soni it is 10 am and I am thinking about you and hoping and praying all goes well for you.

Ren - I think it is just you, me and Soni who can't get to London (if I've missed someone do come and post) - so we'll have to keep the flag flying on here until they return to tell us what they've EATEN. I wonder - there is so much talk about food on this board, and food cravings it's strange. All we seem to do is eat, experience injuries and TTC.

The good that is coming out of my marital condition is that I am more aware that every moment is a gift from Allah. Someone said our life is like a block of ice just melting away. The uncertainty in my marriage is the same uncertainty I should have about every waking minute, every tomorrow and every next day. Tomorrow may never come, and I don't know when my life will end. What do I have to show for it? Will my deeds be heavy? Will my grave be tight and dark or spacious. I think about these things more, and what I can do to improve myself. I have always admired sisters who struggle to improve themselves. Now I have to improve myself, my salah, my house-keeping, make sure I give Allah all His rights before I complain about my husband not giving me mine.

On another note. I was supposed to be doing a TESOL course this weekend and cancelled all my students. (I tutor privately in Maths and Science). First, last night when I was in bed I thought I hadn't set the clock right so I moved the switch. Second, I woke up 5 minutes before the course was due to start, Third I arrived at the venue to find the thing had been cancelled anyway!!! Talk about Qadr of Allah. I really need to rest my back and normally couldn't so I will have 2 whole days (if I am alive) to myself. Henna in the hair, looking after the body, getting ahead with some study (I'm studying with the open University) or some lesson plans. Dh is planning to come down the country with the rest of my belongings today or tomorrow. Subhan Allah, alhamdililah AF is here because he can't divorce me.  I suspect that if he was going to do it he would do it down the country where he could leave and not have to put up with recriminations or tears. But he does love me. He doesn't show it but he does. However, not having married for love but for Islam, love is not the main issue. I think dh NEEDS to have a child. He needs the relaxation that playing with children gives him. He needs people that he can tell what to do. That is just the way he is. He plays Age of Empires on the computer and gives everyone  jobs and talks to each of his 50 villagers/archers/cavalary etc. When the enemy knocks down one of his buildings he gets annoyed and says "I will show you now, just wait!" He takes it so seriously. In the beginning of my marriage when he would say "I'm going to kill you" I used to be quite frightened - he sounded like he meant it, then he learned the game and started telling the people in the game "I will kill you now" in the exact same tone. I was so relieved!!!! lol

Soni, Iman, Ren and anyone i've missed thank you. I didn't mean to make you cry. I just need a "safe place" to express myself.

Dibley - thank you very much.

Love &  

SisterC


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone,

 sisterc Your post hit a very raw nerve with me when I read your post for 2 reasons, firstly because it just made me sad    that you are having to go through such trauma and secondly because your DH reminds me so much of what my mother went through with my father.   Please remember inshallah although none of us are physically with you we are all with you  . I have a friend who moved over from Dublin who still has lots of friends over there inshallah if you want I could get you in touch with someone?? I pray inshallah that your few days in the country gives you some respite and time to get some space from the situation. When I used to get really stressed I would drive out to the sea and sit and watch the boats come in... 

Soni - Inshallah I praying really hard that your ET goes well today and results in little bambinos!!!

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Sister C
I was so sorry to read that your dh used to treat you so badly - it really makes me cry when I hear stuff like that as my parents marriage was also quite abusive at one stage, and I'll never forget how horrible it was. AH they are still together as my mother learned to cope with my dad's temper, but it was one one of the first things I looked for in aprospective husband - a calm temperament -AH I am lucky to have found iit in my dh - in fact I would have to say I have the worse temper out of the two of us  
You are in my duas    
Mx


----------



## bagofnerves

ASA girls

thanks to all of you for asking how i am. I have never been one to 'chat' on the net and i think it's brilliant!! I think you girls are ace- we are all experiencing difficulties in our life and it's not just with TTC. There are so many other personal problems we all have and its excellent that we can all support one another simply by 'being' here, an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.

I have not been on the board a for a couple of days, i thought I'd have some time away from the PC and come to terms with my BFN. I am feeling a lot more positive today. I was reading the post from SisterC and i wish i could give you a big  . I pray that you find the strength to go through this difficult time.

I have to say girls that i am disappointed i cant make it to the meet, it would be great to have a meet for 'us northern lasses'!! I hope you all have a fab time and eat my share too!!! ( I have to warn you i can eat a lot-especially desserts!!!)

I was sent my next appointment after the BFN- for 3rd December. I think that is too long, what do you guys think? i was hoping to get one sooner and start again ASAP. My DH's niece (23) went through ICSI and unfortunately she got a BFN in June. She said that i cant try again for another 3 months- is that true? If that is the case then it gives me time to lose some of the excess weight before the next cycle!!! (second thoughts-no dessert for me lol!!!!)

Snowbelle- I so want to come to Malaysia with you. I hope you have a fab time!!

We have not been away for over a year (went to Pakistan last December for sister's wedding but that doesn't count as a holiday- too stressful!!!), we had booked a trip to Malaysia in June. I thought as we were due to start our IVF in August it would be our final holiday for a while, hoping the treatment would be a success. We'd booked 5 nights in KL, 5 in Penang and 3 in Dubai on the way back- it was going to be 5 star luxury all the way. Unfortunately 2 days before we were due to fly out, my father in law was taken ill to hospital and we had to cancel. I think the best thing we did was cancel, he passed away that same week and i don't think i would have forgiven myself if i hadn't been here. At least we were here to say our goodbyes and care for him in his last week. 

DH is losing faith, he's not very religious, this stems from the fact that when he was 15 his mother passed away and now his father. This last year has been very tough for us and he's seen me pray (like never before) when i was going through the treatment. Now that we got the BFN, he thinks that God is not listening. I have explained to him that we have to show sabr and our time will come if it is meant to be.

Soni- good luck with ET- take it easy afterwards. I pray that you get a BFP!!!

Shino- what area of law are you interested in? i was in private practice as a criminal solicitor and couldn't cope with the late night call outs to the police station. I now work in the courts as a legal adviser to the magistrates> It's excellent, i love my job.

sorry for the long post- i have just realised how much i have written!! DH is watching footie so i am looking for things to occupy myself!!!

  and xxxx to all i have missed!


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## Shino

ASA ladies 

SisterC - I'm sorry your going through such a tough time...it has always been said that those that suffer the most are the closest to Allah swt - your a strong woman and we are never given a burden that we are unable to carry, just keep strong and continue as you are - look after yourself your house and everything will come in perspective - you have to love yourself then the world will love you   just really wanted to give you a huge hug  

Soni - goodluck with the ET sweet, I'm on day 9 , I can't count to save my life, but I test on thursday.

Bagofnerves - I'm so glad your feeling better  it's great that your planning ahead now and moving on to the next step - ultimately thats what we have to do if things just don't go as how we like and I admire your spirit! I like Criminal law too, but I know that it would entail exactly that - getting up at all hours and dashing around everywhere - but what I really enjoy is something along the lines of litigation, corporate law and international trade...but I still have time, I'm a libran and am still undecided! I would really love to work out in Dubai for a bit, just to get out of England for a while...but I intend to do my LPC first and hope it will help me decide what area to specialise in, then the training contract Inshallah.

Godswill - I'm a north londoner too! But moved when I was around 17, my heart in in London tho.. But I'm not sure what accent I have....I don't use slang much and I hate the dreaded 'innit' hehehe, why does everyone think us londoners speak like the eastenders! hey REN??!!! It's not all apples n pears hehe.

I booked my train ticket to meet you girlies on Sunday, I bought a 16-25 railcard - didn't know I could get one of those all this time as I'm way over 25! But you can as a Mature student  I wish I knew that before then could have got cheap trainfares when I was commuting to St.Barts hospital every other day for my scans! Oh well never mind it's only money!!

Today have been feeling really ill and weepy, cried loads today and can hardly speak...having pin prick pains on my right side lower abdomen and have sore boobs  I really hope its not the wicked witch visiting...any thoughts girls? Is it implantation pains? I really hope so..just feeling really down today, hopefully will be perkier Inshallah tommorow when I get to meet some of you...please do dua  for me 

Love to everyone xxx


----------



## soni

Salam All,

SisterC,I just wanted to let you know that how touched i am that u were thinking of me @1000AM forgetting about ur own worries and stresses.I can only pray for you and assure you that we all are here to share ur thoughts and worries  

And special thanks to each and everyone of you!!!!!!!!!!for thinking,praying and sending me positive vibes.Alhumdullilah we have two embryos transferred this AM very smoothly.................now it's time to relax an be positive!!!!!!!!I am feeling very relaxed at the moment as we have done everything which we could have done physically and rest is now in Allah's hand!!!!!!!!!    

I am ging to miss u all tomorrow.........even asked DH to take me there but he just wants relax so Insha'Allah next time......but looking forward to feedback and gossip please  

Hope u all are enjoying the nice weather.DH is going to cook dinner tonight.........can't wait  

Soni


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## DreamTeam

Salams all,

Just 2 things to say for Soni and Shino:
                                                                                     

praying really hard for both of you!

love

Snowbelle - knee deep in cleaning!


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Godswill. Jezach Allah Khair. keep me in the du'as. No I do not discuss my marriage with any friends or family. I will talk to my wali (the Imam) and one sister that was agreed years ago would be my 2 people as my family are not muslim and you are supposed to get 2 people from each family to try to sort out any problems, (but dh won't engage any more.) But they are very busy and hard to get and also I don't want to be always complaining. That's why I need you guys so much.

I did something recently and am not sure if it was wise or not, but I contacted my husband's sister and his brother's wife who both can speak some English and told them we were having problems, that I wanted a divorce because of my husband's bad treatment and asked them to tell my mother-in-law in the hope that she would talk to dh. I also said that my dh had a problem in having a baby because he and his mother blamed it for years on the fact that I have 2 conditions that require constant medication - bipolar disorder and OCD. (The bipolar is the worst now. Islam helped with the OCD like nothing else could but alhamdililah they are both under control at the moment. I usually have to get my meds adjusted about 4 times a year.) The point is that neither dh or his mother are educated and were blaming my meds. I checked it out and my prolactin levels were all normal even though I have regular discharge from the nipples. I keep a close eye on my (.)(.) because my mother died from breast cancer. (Like Snowbelle I had a lump this year or last year - can't really remember with all that's been going on - and they did a biopsy but everything was OK alhamdililah.) But anyway I'm not sure if I should have spoken to the 2 girls and I'm not sure if I should tell them everything is alright. Because when we were over there I told everyone how much I respected my husband. Their husband's beat them and they think it is normal. I said I really respect my dh because he can control his anger. My friend who works with abused women thinks I am crazy - when he smashes a laptop at least he doesn't hit me, she thinks that I shouldn't even think like that. That a man should keep his hands to himself no matter what. I think I'll wait until we see how things turn out. I spoke to Umi but she doesn't speak English and I could just ask her to say du'a for a baby for us.

Alhamdililah I am feeling stronger now in myself. I am amongst my own things and they act like a security blanket. Today I feel I could handle anything - I am distancing myself emotionally, not feeling as needy, clingy and insecure. Dh did not come with all my stuff. I wonder what he's up to. I hope he is in good form. My sister came and we had fish and chips delivered and had a nice time. I had been studying all day since my course was cancelled. Insha Allah I will get a lot of study done tomorrow. I have decided to take some students down the country and to come down once a week - the lessons should cover the petrol insha Allah, and I can build a reputatation. Also I will have a toe in the water if I have to move here permanently.

Last night I went to Tesco and bought myself a Blackberry and Apple pie which I ate smothered in creamy Greek style yogurt (full fat milk and cream!!!!) and I ate it ALL all by myself! (Haven't been to weightwatchers for a while). Now I'm talking about food but the thing is I'd love another one!!!

Soni how are you? May Allah bless us all with pious children. Ameen.
Love and   for you all. 

SisterC

PS. Dibley - why are you Christian not Muslim? Not trying to be offensive just curious.


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum ladies

Well looks like I am the first one to report back! Alhamdulillah me and snowbelle, and KP and Shino and Godswill met today for lunch in London. Masha'allah I had SUCH a nice time!! big thank you to snowy for organising it! It was great - lots of chat, good food  - think the restaurant wanted us out to prepare in time for dinner shift ( we chatted so much we were a bit slow to order! lol) and so we also went for a coffee afterwards. Was lovely to meet everyone ( again in some cases) and share stories and experiences and generally be able to chat openly about TTC etc with sisters who understand. Was great to put faces to names too alhamdulillah. Must do it again soon insha'allah!! 

Soni, Ren, bagofnerves,maarias, barbiedoll and sister C you were missed but we know you were there in spirit insha'allah! 

Sister C you are in my du'a. I dont think you have necessarily done a bad thing in telling the 2 sisters about your marriage problems. I think an outside helping hand from someone personal ( like family) maybe what your DH needs. How were they when you told them and how long has it been since then?? I think that insha'allah with du'a and hope you will be able to come through this insha'allah. My only concern is that your said their husband's beat them and they think its normal!!!?? That is NOT normal. Islam gives advice on how to handle marriage problems for the husband for the wife if she should commit gross indeceny ( i.e. most scholars liken this to being unfaithful/zina) but NOT - I repeat NOT!!! - beating or anything like that!! That is absolutely and 100% AGAINST Islam and its orders. Its a complex issue that has a lot of bad press and is easily misunderstood but it is not allowed or ok one bit! Some men THINK they understand this and abuse what they believe to be an allowance from Islam which is fundamentally incorrect. It is a classic example of why we need scholars and the like to help us learn our Islam and why you can't pick and choose what suits you ( or your agenda) and teach yourself these matters. Im sure I dont need to remind everyone of the hadith where the Prophet pbuh said " The best among you is the one who is best to is wife and I am the best among you" ( cant remember ref - can anyone oblige?) 

So that concerns me firstly for their own sake and their children if they have them, for their husbands and also because they may not comprehend what you have told them. HOWEVER Allah swt is with you and you never know, they may insha'allah provide you with the helping hand you need insha'allah to help your husband. I sincerly hope so. And sister, for yourself, it is NOT ok for him to smash a laptop instead of you - not one little bit! PLEASE don't think that. 

You are in my du'a and also your husband too   I really hope you are both ok and will be ok insha'allah.  Alhamdulillah you say you are feeling stronger so this is good news and I think you are copig remarkably and are a credit to yourself and the Ummah masha'allah.You are a wise strong wonderful woman and don't you ever forget it ok! 

Soni sweeti how are you feeling? hope you got lots of rest today insha'allah and are feeling good.  I will PM you as there is something want to ask you insha'allah

Shino -did you get home ok?? I hope all is well with you too   

Much love

Wasalaams xxx

p.s. Ren We don't sound like EastEnders! Least I hope not! I dont know if I have a London 'twang' or not??! I dont think there are many Londoners that do to be honest  - least not like Bianca Jackson anyway! 

p.p.s the girls I know on ******** I need to message you all about my ******** account for you to do me a favour please......  ( Im having some probs with it, nothing exciting!) anyone else on ** feel free to PM if you want xx


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## soni

Iman Sister,

Thanks for the feedback................me was dying to know!!!!!!!!!

Great to know that u had lovely and excited time.................did u guys have satay?and what else??

Hope u all got home OK!!!!!!!!!!!will chat soon.

 to all of u

Love,

Me


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## Boopie

Salam, I know this may be a heavy question.  I would like to talk to my father about me starting IVF (I am in day 9 of treatment) I am not deeply religious but what does the Koran say about assisted pregnancies and how have your fathers reacted?


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## Iman

Wasalaams boopie

Welcome to the board!

Its a bit late and Im off to bed soon but thought in the meatime I could post you this link insha'allah as it may help you:

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=7&ID=2455&CATE=2

Im not going through IVF myself ( see my notes below) so cant give you the personal perspective but hope that helps insha'allah. One of the other sisters maybe able to tell you more about how to tell him insha'allah. But let me stress - IVF or any assisted reproduction involving JUST the husband and wife with their consent is permitted alhamdulillah. At the end of the day if it works, it is down to Allah s.w.t 

hope you have some good news soon insha'allah! 

Wasalaams


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## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Just to re-iterate what Iman has said the meet up was lovely today. It was so nice to meet our (not so new  ) newbies, Godswill   and Shino   and of course our (not so old) oldies, KittenPaws  and Iman . All I can say that those who were unable to make it were missed! Inshallah another time. Having said that I still feel stuffed!!!

Dibley and Soni - well after naming our meet up "Satay Sunday" we most certainly did have chicken satay - and very nice it was too! Definitely a restaurant to go to!

SisterC - I was so sad to hear that your mother died of BC  . There was a night in the depths of my mothers BC when I took her to hospital (naively) thinking that she would be ok by the morning and instead being told that they weren't sure that she would be there in the morning. Alhumdulilah I had a very long week but Allah(swt) rained his mercy on my household that night. I was saddened to hear that you too had, had a lump in your breast ...its never easy accepting that you have a lump. Good news that you got a clear biopsy result. On a bizarre note, the doctor who discharged me last week said that as women get older (gee thanks doc!) your ducts don't pass the fluid in to the lymph nodes to disperse it and instead just release it through the nipples. What really surprised me was that up until that point no one had offered me a rational explanation as to why it happened. She also said that it keeps on happening they can do a minor op or drugs to stop it happening - have they offered you anything like this??  With respect to your DH, do you mind if I ask where he is from? I pray inshallah that Allah(swt) gives you a good future regardless of how things turn out with your DH. My own parents divorced when I was very little and alhumdulilah it was the best thing for both of them and most definitely my mother.

Ren - There was a not a single member of East Enders on our table    We missed you!!! 

Boopie - welcome to the group - everyone here is really great. As far as IVF (ie no donor sperm and no donor egg, just the husband and wife egg and sperm) is concerned there isn't a problem. 

Soni and Shino                          



Much love

love

Snowbelle


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## soni

Salam Sister and welcome to the thread  ,

First of all I wish u all the very best on your journey.Hope it is a plain sail for you and May Allah bless you with the pious and righteous offspring....Ameen.

I am not able to give you proper references to your question but as far as assisted conception is concerned there is/are fatwas present in its favour as long as it uses husbands sperm and wive's eggs and done by the females preferably.But my understanding says that it is like a cure of a illness and we are allowed to find new methods and ways to cure illness/disease as long as they don't breach the basic concepts of Islam...............sorry for this vague explaination but I am sure someone will definetly give u right references.

As far as letting other people know about it I think it is a personal choice...........I lost my parents when I was very young so don't have this problem on my end and DH doesn't want to share it with his family although I have given them a hint that we are trying other ways and means because my MIL gets very ''WORRIED''about the whole situation but I know it doesn't matter to her how we have concieved  as long as we have given her a grandchild if u know what I mean..............If u have to share it with ur father I think he will be very understanding and I think he will want to see you happy at the end of it all.

I have learned that it's YOU and YOUR relationship with each other which should be a priority before anyone else!!!!!!!!!

Hope it helps and looking forward to know you a bit more and all the very best with your treatment.
Love,

Soni


----------



## soni

Snowbelle, our posts crossed!!!!!!!!!!!!Great to know u had a FAB time..................  

 

Me.


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## DreamTeam

Hey 
are you still there

how was bed rest??


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## soni

One word [fly]* BORING*[/fly]


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## DreamTeam

your funny

you'll be wishing you could have bed rest when you have 2 screaming twins (INSHALLAH)


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Sounds like you had a good time in London. I just took the day to myself. I was going to study because I have work to do but I didn't want to. I don't know if any of you will find this weird, but in Christianity there are hymns and gospel music that I grew up with which bring comfort. I miss that. Even if I sing one and replace Jesus with Allah in the words. It just seems more close and personal and kinder than Islam. Maybe it is because I am a revert and I don't have traditions related to Eid or anything. I used to make a big fuss for Eid. Make loads of cake, decorate the house with balloons and crepe paper but over the years dh's negative attitude has just caused me to give up. We haven't been to Eid prayers in years. It's like because we weren't living near any of the community or the mosques.

I gave up music which I taught for over 10 years got rid of my instruments and stopped listening to it. Dh says music is haram but he listens to it all the time - he seems to love it more even than I do. I was listening to Elvis Presley singing "I want to bow down before Him and hear him say Well done" was what made me go and take my shadhada - i wanted to pray with the sujood. When I was listening to some today from the net I was thinking about my future children insha Allah, what could I do to replace church music in their growing up. I mean a lot of classical music is about religion too.

In my previous life I was engaged to be married. We didn't have money for an engagement ring so we bought Elvis Presley "The complete Gospel" instead. I didn't marry him because he would not have been around for all the religious holidays. I used to make him come to Mass with me and I would come out uplifted and positive, then he would criticize individual members of the congregation, and I would realise he had spent the whole time in the church in a different place to me. I loved him but I could not marry him. I would have felt like a single mother on all the special occasions.

I am trying to work through my emotions and grief, like I'm mourning the relationship I used to have with dh. To try and get rid of all the angst before I go back to the city and my dh and the whole TTC process. The GP was questioning me if I was staying in this marriage for love or convenience. He is a Christian. I said for love but he didn't believe me. However, I don't think it matters. We didn't get married for love, we got married for our religion, and having a family is the next step. That is actually the kernel of what I am trying to say - in Christianity things were centred on feelings instead of on logic. So if I hear a gospel song and I find myself feeling comforted but thinking I don't believe this. Like there is a battle between feelings and logic.

Sorry for waffling - just trying to put into words where I am on my journey. I have to be in the right state of mind for next Friday.

Iman - I know men are not allowed to beat their wives and the discipline procedure, which is why I constantly said I respected my dh for not losing control of himself in anger when I was with the family. The women know it is not allowed but kind of shrug their shoulders, saying it's normal. The same with Mahr - they don't get half their rights. I know dh doesn't give me my rights but then I think I am not giving Allah all his rights, and I have to fulfill my responsibilities first to Allah and dh before I start thinking I am entititled to "my rights". 

The thing is that even in my marriage, culture seems to be stronger than religion. I suppose that the difference between my culture and Islam and the difference between Islam and my dh's culture is really the crux of the matter. My culture is something I have tried to discard and replace with Islam but I see him and he misses home so much. He watches the TV and there is a lot of traditional music and dance on it. Then I see him following his culture and want my own...

Faz, Soni and all - I'm thinking of you. Pray for me please.
Love
sisterC


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## KittenPaws

Salam All

Quickie from me. Yesterday was great, missed everyone that couldnt make it. 

Hope all is well

Love KP


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## Godswill

wa'salm all     

Just like to say it was nice to meet you guys yesterday Imaan, Snow, KP and shino    great food choice and even better compnay mashAllah.  

Soni i am happy to hear 2 on board inshAllah i pray everything goes well for you hun.   

Ren....no, no eastenders or Essex accents mashAllah....sorry to disappoint you  

Shino i   all is going well for you....sending u lots of     and  


Salam Boopie   look forward to knowing more about you, u definitely have come to the right place for support hun  

I dont know about IVF, but from what i have read the others are right. Wishing you all the best.  

Love to all


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Well having spent the weekend and the last 3 nights alone I have come to some conclusions, and some are disquieting to say the least. I never before understood how married people could commit zina, but if I wasn't muslim I would be looking for love outside my marriage. They say that men have affairs for sex and women for affection that is lacking in their marriage. It is 18 years ago that my relationship with my ex-fiance was established, and I stilll love him though I haven't seen or heard from him in years. I used to love my husband as well as him but not the same way. I don't think you can love like that except once in your life - where it is totally unconditional and from the depths of your soul. I don't love my husband any more and it is just a matter of coming to terms with that, picking myself up and dusting myself off, and continue on my TTC journey, because that's the logical thing to do. I don't know if it is the RIGHT thing to do but it is my only positive option.

I think dh has fallen out of love with me too. The question is can we survive the doldrums and the storms and come out stronger? As a Catholic with no option for divorce, I would stay and make the best of it. Funny, but as a muslim that's what I also intend to do. I just hope it's the right decision. I can't pray Istikara because AF is still here. Please don't think I am taking this lightly, I am crying, I am lonely and I was lonely and I don't know how to go on, except one step at a time. I don't know if I should be honest and tell dh that I don't love him any more, but that I want to be a mother, and he is my husband, so this is the only halal way for me to have a child. It is breaking my heart as I write this. I just don't know what to do. I do know that the only person who can help me is Allah. I think dh knocked the last bit of love out of me when he thumped me on the head last week.

Make du'a for me at this dangerously tempting time.

SisterC


----------



## soni

Dear SisterC,

I don't have any words for u really!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just cannot even imagine what u r going through but just wanted to let you know that we all are here for you.Just keep your positive attitude and give time to urself.  .

At the moment it will be better if u think calmly ......................   

Hope u feel better soon and keep in touch.

Love,

Soni


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## KittenPaws

Sister C i have pm'd you

x


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## Godswill

Sister C

I am lost for words...

I think dh knocked the last bit of love out of me when he *thumped me * on the head last week. SubhanAllah, you dont deserve that, NO ONE DOES   

Lots of love and duas


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## KittenPaws

Hey sis 

How are you?? Much enjoyed my satay sunday. I met DH after and didnt get home till quite late. Did a bit more shopping. Was good fun!


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## KittenPaws

Salam Ren, hope you feel better. Think the flu is going around- as always! 

GW- Yep DH has finally overcome his fear and can actually choose items! Lol. Picked a few more things out and thats it- no more! We have enough and dont want to end up with loads of things that will go to waste! 

Indeed i ate again! I had a veggie lasagne & a nice chocolate crossaint. Im terrible!


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## Godswill

wa'salam

Ahh Ren   hope u feel better hun...remember every illness is inshAllah an expiation of sins...so embrace it...  

Kp phew...u ate too but ur preggars (mashAllah) so at least u have an excuse....lol lol lol

I guess ur going to get soo many gifts its so theres no point in buying too much. As long as u have the main things the rest u can see when lil bubba arrives inshAllah.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Ladies,
Inshallah everyone is feeling fine and enjoying the suitably morose weather...what was the weather about yesterday  

SisterC -


SisterC said:


> Asalam alaikom sisters
> 
> I think dh knocked the last bit of love out of me when he thumped me on the head last week.


I'm so sorry SisterC but there is no justification for this.   

While reaching your decision regarding your future please remember that divorce is allowed in Islam and while it is the most disliked of actions sometimes there is no other choice and in that instance divorce is allowed. Kadar (fate) is for Allah(swt) to decide and you have no idea what is around the corner for you, you shouldn't assume that if you stay with your DH that he is your only hope for a child...I'm sure if you read around on the FF board alone, there are plenty of people who have for various reasons had their relationships broken and then suddenly it happens. I pray inshallah that Allah(swt) guides to what is good for you and for what keeps you safe.

Soni - nothing to say other than        

Shino - ditto           

KP - glad to hear you and DH managed to buy your bambino some bits on saturday.

I didn't get to much after I left you guys, went and picked up DH and his brother from the arcade in trocodero - seems they were reliving their youth  , went for a few more coffees before finally reaching home!

Iman, Faz-ie, and all much love

love
Snowbelle

ps
REN!!! - nearly forgot you!!!  stay away from falling objects at work please!


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Snowbelle Jezach Allah Khair for your message. This board is really important to me because it is helping me analyse things and make sense out of things.

After my last post I had to teach a maths lesson and I found it very calming alhamdililah. I feel like packing up now and going back to the city and dh and getting on with things on the one hand. On the other I am tempted to call him and see if anywhere there is some softness for me.

Well I called him. I asked him if he missed me even a little bit. He said "no". I asked him if he wanted me to come back he said "no". I said "that's fairly clear". He says he is going to tidy and paint the house, then he is going to let 2 rooms out, so I will have to move down the country. I asked him if I could still stay at weekends and teach. He said "I don't think so". He said to let him tidy and fix up the place and then we'd talk.

So I'm left in limbo.
Qadr Allah wa masha fa'al.
SisterC


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## Godswill

salam all... 

where is everyone?? 

Bored....................!


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

I'm here, just been having a tidy up at home and then went looking for my swimming gear, which I had left at my mums doh!  
I've got hydrotherapy in a bit. I've only got 2 sessions left, after we come back from Malaysia I get to move on to weight bearing exercises in the gym. Inshallah my foot is getting stronger!

Whats everyone up today

love
Snowbelle


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## Godswill

Wa'salam snow   

Cleaning..wow my house is a mess...it needs a good thourough clean. i hate too many things..i just want to throw things out!!

2 sessions u must be glad, that means u've nearly fully recovered inshAllah. 

8 days left for hol...wow   ur soo lucky mashAllah. But u deserve it!

So where is everyone else hiding??


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## KittenPaws

Salaam All,

Snow so glad hydro has gone well. InshAllah you are back to running and jumping in big heels very soon! Lol

Ren- im here! How are you? 

Im at work ladies... eating my life away. So far had two slices of toast with honey, mug of ovaltine, packet of ready salted crisps and a rachels organic strawberry yogurt! Thats just breakfast and morning tea     lunch is at 12.30!!!!


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## Godswill

KP...wow mashAllah, what is it they say Breakfast like a king, luch like a prince and dinner like a pauper..... LOL LOL LOL   

what for lunch....not decided yet??...lucky ur pregnant mashAllah otherwise i would have to say KP that is tooooo  much,  lol


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## DreamTeam

Heyy KP and Godswill 

Sadly no heels just yet - at the moment I'll be lucky if I can get out of my trainers!!! My foot / ankle specialist says heels perhaps for a party but thats it!!! At the moment that seems sooooo far away! As for last hydro - my physio has given me instructions on what to do over the next 3 weeks in the pool so it'll like I'm in hydro anyway!

KP you aren't alone with an early lunch! Just making mine (totally wierd) gf fish fingers and some gf garlic bread thing (my mum is getting me to eat up my gluten free hoard in her freezer!)

Any news from Shino and Soni         

much love

Snowbelle


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## Godswill

No no news form the ladies...i   its a BFP for them. I got a ** friend request from Shino and off course u, i saw the famous tree  

My lunch is boring...i ahve pot noodles.... lol lol


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## KittenPaws

I thought Soni was testing next week?? Im confused. 

Haa haa, i am a little hippo! Honestly the last week ive been so hungry. Lunch probably have a soup and some bread. Dinner is grilled salmon and mashed potato with some sweet corn. Yummo! I got a big fat piece of choccie cake on my desk and an apple


----------



## soni

Salam All,

WOW lots of chatting going on and its all about fooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!Don't I just love the subject

Well I am feeling terrible......................very breathless and bloated but had my interview this AM which went so so.Not a lot of hope I am afraid and not thinking about it now!!!!!!

Hope u all are enjoying ur lunch..........me need to sleep now.

Will chat later and thabks for ur prayers and positive vibes!!!!!!!

Love,

Me


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## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Sorry I couldn't make it on the weekend - sounds like you all had a lovely time. Sorry to ask a really silly question but is the food in malaysian restaurants always halal   
I've been feeling pretty pants generally - nausea and also my IBS seems to have got a lot worse during this time - just seem to go from one extreme to another IYKWIM so never know what to eat  

Sister C  - you are in my duas - sister you have a lot more patience than me - I think the advice you've received from the other sisters makes a lot of sense - I know Islam teaches us to have patience but I don't honestly believe that it teaches us to stay in a situation where we are being mistreated   . BTW I thought what you said about hymns being comforting was really interesting. I wonder whether the things we find comforting aren't connected to our childhood - as only last night I was thinking about how comforting I used to find it when my mum used to say namaz in my room while I was going to sleep - and all sorts of other stuff that is indirectly related to my religion but really more to do with my childhood...

KP - I thought your brekkie sounded perfectly reasonable - 2 slices of toast and ovaltine and yogurt and crispts - I've only just realised how much I've been eating and have started doing some exercise again and cut back on the crisps    So far today I've had 2 slices of toast, half a skinny muffin, a big fat latte with all sorts in it for brekkie and for lunch 3 mini pittas with taramasalata, a mandarin and some G&B white choc. - yum, yum!! Dinner will probably just be a salad for me as I'm starting to feel nauseous again (probably due to the amount I'm eating!  )- poor dh is having to survive on junk from the freezer at the mo as I'm often just feeling too unwell to cook   Poor DS is just having lots of pasta and sandwiches - honestly I do feel guilty but often can't look at food or bear the smell of it  

Soni - am confused - please tell me when you are testing you are in my duas    

Snowbelle - sounds like IA you're on the road to recovery - am intrigued by the hydro - what does it involve?

Salams to everyone I've missed: Ren, Godswill, Faz and everyone I've missed  

Mx


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam aarias    you have been missed, but so nice to hear from you mashAllah

Ahh sorry to hear u arent feeling too good, may Allah make it easy for you hun...Ameen

Yes we do love talking about food on this board ...i think its our fav topic oh and ttc   lol lol  

Do keep in touch and let us know how ur getting on  

Fazi where are you, hows the tablet popping going 

Soni im waiting for ur daily diary off course after ur nap  .....i pray inshAllah you get the job....i have an interview tomorrow too inshAllah.   &  

Ren... where are you Not work time yet!!!

Snow u back from physio??

Shino hun   

Love to all i have missed


----------



## KittenPaws

Maarias so sorry your feeling poorly hun. InshAllah it will get better. I was awful in the beginning and didnt think it would ever end, the vomiting and dizziness. But Alhamdulillah after 5 months it slowed down and now its tolerable as i just have one puke every morning and nausea at night. But it will pass sis, just be patient IA. The funny thing is nausea is such a good sign and women who have nausea are less likely to m/c the consultant told me when i was in hospital during the first trimester. It is a sign that the pregnancy hormone is very high and thats what hold the pg. How many weeks are you now? 

Ahhh yes food, our fav. Just polished off a baguette with cheese, lettuce and tomato. Was very nice. Didnt get a soup, didnt look that exciting. 

Roll on 5pm.... home sweet home!


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## FazWorld

asa,

I hope you are all well.. 

SisterC ..  hang in there sister.. IA it will all work out... I do actually think your DH has issues outside of you relationship that he needs to sort out.. as usual, give him time and a wide berth, play a little hard to get maybe (but not too much).. and get on with your life as much as you can...

R4K glad you not walking into crates any more... 

Maarias, KittenPaws happy puking.. IA may we all reach your stage soon... 

Soni, BagOfNerves, Iman, Soni, and all others I have missed - salaams to you all sisters.. 

Currently on day 6 of my pill... booked a pill scan for Tuesday 28th Oct.. and if all goes well, Insha Allah EC around week of 17th Nov.. with ET on the Juma.. but Allah knows best..

Fazworld


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

I thought high heels were haram anyway? 

We had the budget in Ireland today - the toughest one in 20 years. 

Dh called me this morning or maybe I called him but he sounded in a better mood. Maybe he just needs time away from me - I have been with him almost non-stop for the last 10 months which is a very long time for us. When we were first married we kept our own flats and he stayed with me most nights but still had his own pad. It worked for us in the past, insha Allah it will work for us again.

I didn't go to the hospital yet for my X-ray on my back and I have no food in. I haven't eaten properly in days - just couldn't be bothered. I need a shower too. AF finishes tomorrow so will need to do it then at the latest. Haven't done the henna for my hair, so the grey is showing. I just realised how fat and unattractive I am, and also that I don't care enough about how I appear to my dh, but if it was my ex-fiance I would lose weight. Stayed in bed today and did not go to the city for my check-up with the consultant for my jaw operation. Really I spent the last month in physical pain and so did little housework and I'm sure that got to dh. 

I miss my cat. 

I cancelled my lesson for tonight and the mother was not impressed. I didn't tell her that my life is falling apart and that my husband has effectively banished me from home. I just said it was beyond my control. 

I have not despatched any goods to my ebay customers in a week (I have an ebay shop). Make du'a   that I don't get bad feedback. Am only starting to feel slightly normal even though I'm hungry and dirty. At least I have been sleeping in a bed the last few nights and not on the floor which is what put my back out in the first place. I think I was so exhausted from crying that I needed the sleep. 

I also think I am in better form because dh sounded happy. I have no other news, and am always waiting for the next post on this board.

keep me in your du'as please

SisterC


----------



## Shino

Salaams all

I haven't had a chance top read all the posts since my last visit, so sorry no personal...hope everyone is ok.

Had a great time with the girls on Sunday  it should be a regular events eh? We missed the ones who couldn;t make it.

I was a bit out of it, due to me finding out that I was spotting, then when I was going home, I was having a fully fledged period. so I guess it's all over for me now, thankyou to you all who prayed for me and sent me their good wishes, it was not to be, I suppose i have to take the dreaded pregnancy test anyway due to procedure for the hospital on thursday - what the hell is the point tho!!

I'm ok now, was really upset yesterday and in the evening after the meal, was on such a high and came home on such a low.....oh well we do not know what is good for us Allah knows best. It was funny cos I went to a 2 yr old's birthday party last nite, everyone was haveing a laugh and a dance, and I was sitting there with a face like a slapped backside , as I was thinking all I will be doing all my life will be buying pressies for other peoples children all my life, none for my own...but I can't stay miserable for long - on and upwards I say! 

Right now I will concentrate on my studies, me, myself and I. I'm gonna hit the gym, get fit and get sorted with my degree inshallah and then after I graduate will take the next step, I think we will try one more time for ICSI, probably go abroad actually as its cheaper and I heard that the success rates are higher in europe - anyhow will research into it, if not then we still have the option of adoption.

Not sure if I should still post on this forum now?! 

Hope everyones good inshallah - npw got lots of prep to do for uni so i'm throwing myself in my work, my posts may not be too frequent but if anyone wants to add me on ******** please do  pm me and I will give you my full name.

lots of love xxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom Ren and everyone.

Shino don't go. The latest update on my situation is I spoke with dh on the phone and he talked about moving back to the Middle East. He says he does not know where he is going or what he is doing. I asked him not to divorce me. He said now you see the house, and the debt and a few other things that are bothering him. I don't know why the house needing painting is associated with staying together or getting divorced. I bought some paint for the kitchen a year ago but he never applied it.  He said he had or was going to pack up the rest of my things and bring them to me. I told him that there is no point because I am going up to him at the weekend.

As you all know we have an appointment on Friday at the fertility clinic. I think dh has forgotten. Allah is really testing me.

Please make du'a for me.
SisterC


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

You must be sick of me posting by now but this time I have some good news alhamdililah. I called dh to speak with him and he didn't want to talk. Then I thought "if I'm going to push him I'll do it now while I still have AF so he can't divorce me". So I called him back and said what he is doing to me is not fair. For the last few months he has been holding me over a cliff edge. Then I told him that he is lucky (though I hate to use that expression because it probably is hidden shirk) that he has his family and his mother who are all muslims who can pray for him but that I only have him.  Then I asked him if he is going to the clinic with me on Friday and alhamdiliah he said yes. 

Make du'a     that he doesn't change his mind.
SisterC


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## Godswill

wasalam all

Shino....u cannot leave this board...we want u to stay ...plz plz plz with sugar on top   we have got to know u and some have had the pleasure to meet you, so no we want u to keep us updated even if it is about ur studies inshAllah. Other wise we will keep pestering u...lol lol lol 

Sister C, that is good news mashAllah...patience is of a virtue. InshAllah he wont go back on his word.....my duas are with u hun    Indeed u are being tested...but Allah never tests ppl with more then they can bear.....u will get immense reward inshAllah. Remain patient...i know i would have failed at the 1st hurdle....u are a strong brave woman...mashAllah!  

Love to all..i will post properly later....going now for interview inshAllah. 

Wa'salam


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum ladies  

I had hydrotherapy last night and was absolutely shattered but then had loads of things to do and so still quite tired now, sadly did not fall asleep at 6 as I normally do after hydro!!! On the job front, finally got a call back from an agency to put me forward for a job so alhumdulilah things seem to be moving forward! Onwards and upwards is the only way.

On a funny note, seems like pregnant ladies are following me around the world (no offence Maarias and KP), DH's friend who lives in KL (who we were planning to meet up with) is pregnant. Somehow I think she'll be going on about that - joy!

Heres the personals:

Shino - You can't leave! No treatment does not mean that you aren't affected by the pain of infertility, or even the other issues surrounding it. If anything I think you need it more! Its worth remembering that for some they have reached the end of the road for treatment but they are still here as it is a support system. I was really sad to hear of your BFN, I had kind of hoped that you had got it wrong in the restaurant.    Its been lovely getting to know you, so please stay 

Maarias - I've got to agree with whoever said it (can't remember) but major pregnancy symptoms are a sign of a strong bambino inshallah. As for hydrotherapy, when I first went it was 1:1 sessions and the objective was literally to get you to do simple things like walking in the pool without using crutches, alhumdulilah now it has moved on to the equivalent of a lower limb circuit class where we are all given specific exercises to strengthen the bad leg. Strange things like very very slow jogging, walking on tip toes, using a flipper to help loosen up the scar tissue which in my case is very solid. BTW how your foot

Ren - Just stay positive inshallah. What ever is happening is happening to the both of you, so you inshallah need to stay strong for your DH as well. I'm sure he is quite anxious about the results etc. Also if it is just low swimmers, I think they can do ICIS

More later

Salams and   to everyone

love

Snowbelle


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## KittenPaws

Salam ladies,

Shino you cant leave. Please. Allah tests us all and subhanAllah i admire your Sabr for all these years. May Allah keep you strong & give you patience. 

Everyone sorry no personals. Just hope you are all well. 

May Allah accepts all our duas. Ameen
xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams KP  

Whats for lunch today


----------



## KittenPaws

Ws hun.

I dont know. Ive had toast, cherry yogurt and apple so far. Think i might go for a baked potato and coleslaw with cheese today.

What about u?


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

You must be sick of me posting by now but this time I have some good news alhamdililah. Last night I called dh to speak with him and he didn't want to talk. Then I thought "if I'm going to push him I'll do it now while I still have AF so he can't divorce me". So I called him back and said what he is doing to me is not fair. For the last few months he has been holding me over a cliff edge. Then I told him that he is lucky (though I hate to use that expression because it probably is hidden shirk) that he has his family and his mother who are all muslims who can pray for him but that I only have him.  Then I asked him if he is going to the clinic with me on Friday and alhamdiliah he said yes. 

Make du'a     that he doesn't change his mind.
SisterC


----------



## KittenPaws

Salaam SisC

Alhamdulillah i am happy things seem to be moving forward. Forgive me if you feel offended by what i am about to say but i just feel like its something i should say. 

It is clear from what you have told us that your marriage is very unstable and was (according to what ive read, please correct me if im wrong) heading for divorce. I just wanted to say that although it may seem as though having children will solve all your problems, indeed this is probably the complete opposite. Children need a stable environment to be bought up in and parents who are joint as a team working together to create this family. I think you should think carefully before taking any steps into fertility treatment. 

From experience when i did my treatment it was the hardest time i have ever gone through, more than when i was naturally ttc. I leaned on my husband so much for his love and support. We cried and laughed (at odd times when we were actually down) together and he was the one who held my hand through every injection, every step he was there. Alhamdulillah i am lucky to have him. I just dont want you to go through this alone. When it failed for me, he was there to literally pick me up off the floor and give me strength and told me to remember Allah and seek guidance from Allah and him alone. 

Do you feel your husband will be able to support you. From what you have said he doesnt seem as though he has been there so far, what makes you think this will save your marriage? 

Allah knows best. 

I hope i havent upset you, but its just something i felt i should say.


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## DreamTeam

Salams,
As I've said before, the best thing that ever happened in my household when I was a child was when my parents divorced because I knew where I was. I didn't wake up in the middle of the night to see chaos, and I had stability. Children need stability. Alhumdulilah divorce is there for a reason.

Ws

Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Salams
Just realised my post sounds really blunt!!!  

SisterC, for what its worth the impression that you've given us is that your DH is someone who has hit you, left you in limbo, told you not to look at buildings and generally not treated you in a manner that befits a wife. I know if it was me I'd want to be with someone who gave me the respect that I deserve. Inshallah all our prayers are with you, and as always Allah(swt) guides you to the right path where you are safe and well looked after.

Love

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Yes I have said a lot of negative things about dh because I was hurting, but I already prayed istikara about a divorce when I found out about the retrograde ejaculation, and decided that I did not want one. I am nearly 41, have been with my dh for nearly 8 years and while the bad times are very hard, there have been good times too. 

When we went to dh's family it was the first time he had been home in 27 years and he spent thousands on me. Bought me €1100 worth of gold, bought me 100's of hijabs to sell on ebay and even got the manequin head for displaying the hijabs because I wanted it. He really spoiled me. When I look at that head I can't believe how he gave in to me on it - I mean it was a crazy notion! It was like a 2nd honeymoon and when we came back in January everything was fine for me up until I found out about the retrograde ejaculation. I was working on trying to accept that he might need a second wife to have children with, and had just accepted that when I was turned upside down by the retrograde ejaculation.

I don't know if I told you this, but he had said to me a few months ago that I only want him for a baby. So he was obviously feeling unloved too. He has told me that when I am upset I cry to get it out whereas he shouts to let it out. He hates being without money and normally sends thousands home to his family. When we got back from our trip he was given 10 days notice. So we got home, he lost his job, he was in debt, and his business has been going really badly and he would just close it down if he did not owe money. I think that the TTC has affected him too. He always comes with me to the clinic but he waits outside. The point is that he is as committed to the TTC as I have been. I told you all about the weekend I went crazy on the Clomid. It really did make me crazy in the beginning. I know that I did damage to our marriage that weekend. I was like a screaming banshee.

My dh is the kind of man who can't be pushed into anything. He has to be the dominant one in every situation. I think he is hurting in himself but he is so much behind his wall that he can't explain it to me. When he broke the laptop it was because I was pushing him trying to make him talk to me and he didn't want to talk. He has been in a dark place the last few months.

He has been trying to get help from the Social Welfare but they are only giving him €30 a week. For the last 6 months or so I have been buying the food and looking after myself so he didn't have to worry about it. I know he does not like women to be stronger than their husbands or independent, not asking for permission. I have been teaching for the last while and it makes me feel good. I think he is feeling redundant from the marriage as well as from work. I have you sisters - he has no one except me and he is the kind of person who does NOT want a hug or a pat on the hand in sympathy. He is the "leave me alone, I'm not a child" type. And don't forget his smile melts everything else away. 

I don't want to throw away the last 8 years. It took me 10 years to get over my ex-fiance. I have no idea how long it would take me to get over dh. I don't have years any more, I'm not young any more. In good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, I took him to be my legal husband. I don't even know the date - it was sometime in April 2001 but I married him islamically on 13th December 2000 and when people asked me how I felt at my walimah I said I feel whole. Like a piece that is missing in my solar plexus had finally been put into place.

Dh would be a fantastic father. He is kind to the weak and sick (except me), he is fun, he is childlike which is lovable and childish which is not. Pets and children bring out his soft side. He spoils the cat. He is my naseeb and I love him. I was 33 when we married and he was 36 so we were both set in our ways having lived alone. I am not good in the house. Before we got married I told him that, and asked that we could hire someone to look after the house because I knew I was so bad at it. The house has really got to him though I have done my best. He is a neat, clean freak. Me - I just don't see what he sees. I don't notice things, he sees everything. He smokes heavily and the place hasn't been painted or spring cleaned in 7 years. So you can picture it. Also it is a 3 bedroomed house and he has collected so much clutter over the years that the 2 other rooms are full of stuff. When people are leaving the country he collects their personal effects. Too many people have things that they don't bring home with them but is too good to throw away so they give it to dh who has the intention of selling it, but never gets around to it, and he just puts it into the rooms. He has about 5 TVs, 3 satellite dishes, many DVD players, clothes horses, henna, toiletries, spices and study notes.

If he really didn't want me he would divorce me. If I really wanted a divorce I would have pushed him into giving me one. Actually over the last few months he has made it clear that it is up to me, and I left it up to Allah. I don't want a divorce, I want my marriage to work. Alhamdililah, I am ok now, though I was very upset at the weekend. Insha Allah we will make it through this, and there is no point on throwing away our place on the TTC waiting list. We are 8 years into our journey and the going has got rough but I'm not abandoning ship. not yet, not unless it sinks. I made a commitment. I can't give up, I won't. I have to believe that Allah will finally answer my prayers for a family of my own. I have no one to pray for me except dh. My sister has said to me that he is my world and it is true, my life does revolve around him, which is probably not a good thing for me, but that is something I can change.

keep me in your duas please.
SisterC


----------



## KittenPaws

Sister C i think in that reflection of your life you have written to us, you have answered many of the questions you asked yourself. 

You are the one who lives in this marriage and knows all the details, and if you feel you are making the right decision then InshAllah you both will be very happy. 

If your husband is dealing with so many things job loss, marital problems, ttc he may even have a form of depression, ie depressive episode. With men it is far more difficult to diagnose as they often turn into a "closed book" but it may be something to look into. Maybe this is also why he is so agitated and had an outburt with you the previous week when he "thumped you". This is not in any way a clinical diagnosis, just an opinion from one sister to another. 

I just think only you and you alone can make decisions in this matter, and ask Allah for guidance inshAllah.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Kittenpaws - I am not wanting to have a child to save our marriage. I have always wanted children. So has dh. But we were married 7 years before we found out for definite that there was a problem with conceiving.

When I took my shahada my father told me he'd prefer if I just slept around and got pregnant than embraced Islam and have an arranged marriage. He knew I wanted children. I have always wanted them. This is why I find this test from Allah so difficult. 

I have analysed and analysed my marriage. Dh has some problems and they are affecting me. We made it through so far. The only thing that's different now is that I'm on Clomid and he has retrograde ejaculation, and have been attending the clinic this year.

SisterC


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## KittenPaws

SisC - i know your not having them now for that reason, my earlier point was that in a difficult situation having children wont make this situation any easier and before you take further steps, be sure divorce is OFF the cards! 

Please dont think im judging you or having a go, honestly i just pray for you and your husband and that you both have every happiness together IA.


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## Godswill

wasalam

jzk for the clarification sister C, yes u alone are in this marriage and only u know what is best. But im still not sure having kids is the answer just yet. You need to get DH sorted first he has soo much going on in his head and i really dont think a child will sort it all out. If u have financial worries now having a child wont iron those out. I know every child ocmes with its rizq but im talking about his emotional state. 

With out saying you are in my duas and thoughts always ...i dont want u to divorce, i want u guys to sort it out.
Like in islam we need the five pillars to build the foundation of our belief, with out any one we wont survive. I feel u need to have a strong marriage before kids come along other wise  someone sufferes...usually the children. Work on the foundation first hun (marriage) Allah knows best.

Like KP im not judging u never would.


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## FazWorld

FazWorld said:


> SisterC ..  hang in there sister.. IA it will all work out... I do actually think your DH has issues outside of you relationship that he needs to sort out.. as usual, give him time and a wide berth, play a little hard to get maybe (but not too much).. and get on with your life as much as you can...


SisterC, looks like we are all jumping in and giving you advice.. we are only trying to help. From your last post, it appears that I was on the right tracks. I don't think that yr DH has problems with you.. it is just that other things around you are affecting his behaviour and the only one he can lash out is you.. hence give him a wide berth, don't be too 'in yer face', walk on eggshells a while until he sorts out the other things.

Sorry other sisters who think I am wrong, but Alhumdolillah SisterC has identified what Allah SWA has said we must look at our DH's as.. it is very easy to think about throwing in the towel, but it takes a lot to actually do it. Insha Allah it will work out for you. I actually think that it is a good thing to try for a baby. I know I have said this before, but having a child of your own makes you feel loke a proper family and you start to belong - I only have to look at my SIL top see that. IA that is what your DH needs.

Also remember, if it is due to his problems that you are on FF, that also goes against his 'macho' image of himself.. he prob don't want to show you he is vulnerable and/or weak, so the only way around it is to show he isn't - by thumping you!

Finally, never say to him 'the only reason we can't have kids is cos of you! I am OK' - treat it like a unit, the two of you have a problem together. If he thinks he is the problem, altho he knows it, it will make him fell worse to hear it from you - cos its like laying the blame. I even went so far as to say - maybe you should get married again to have children knowing full well it was not MY problem! IA you both sound as if you love each other, its just that that love due to loss of job, finances etc has unfortunatly become blurred and lost. Find it!

Colour your hair, make an effort, cook him nice things, try and see the things you ignore but he don't (believe me I know how you feel I and my DH are exactly like that too! My Dh constantly repositioning items in food cupboards, pointing out dust, cobwebs I can't see etc) etc to show you care for him, not just for a baby - but for him...

Also - ever thought about selling the stored things on ebay Make yourself a bit of money and clear out your house a bit! 

IA you will come thought this both stronger and with a baby..


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams All,

SisterC - As everyone has said, no one is in a position to judge you and no one is. At the same time though if we have come to assumptions / conclusions about your marriage it is because of the information that you have given us. Its only natural that you won't like all of the thoughts we will share with you.  

I think it is wrong to assume that if you don't have your DH in your life then you won't have people pray for you. Inshallah every time I make dua I (for one) always say the following please give the children without families, families and please give those without children, children. By saying this I feel that I am (inshallah) acknowledging the need of the child more than my need to be a parent. There are hundreds if not thousands of muslims in the world who inshallah pray for muslims everywhere. Just because you don't have your DH it does not mean that you are alone. 

Some of my most unhappiest memories as a child were crying profusely watching and not being understand why my parents were shouting and crying, wondering why they wouldn't talk to each other, why they wouldn't be like everyone else. I wouldn't wish that on any child. 

I stand by KP on this one, divorce has to be OFF the agenda if you are going out of your way to TTC. Children as Godswill has said are not an iron. They are instead the jewelery on a beautiful outfit - a dress will still look good without it, but better with it. 

The best dua that I can make for you (given the information that you have provided) is that Allah(swt) keeps you safe, free from harm, and that he guides you on the right path to a good future. Ameen.

love
Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

Hope u all are well and having a nice day!!!!!

Me feeling much better today.Thanks for ur duas and lovely messages!!!!!!!!!  

SisterC,Alhumdullilah u have got so much support from all of us and everyone is trying to help u in a very positive way.I am praying for you so you can decide what is the best for u and ur DH and potential kids!!!!

Godswill, how did the interview goFeeling positive?

Ren, no news today?R u ok??

Snowbelle, hopefully project cleaning the house and packing the stuff is well under the way along with intense rehab!!!!!!Insha'ALlah all will bring a begining of new life soooooooon!!!!!!  

Kittenpaws,How r u??did u have jacket and coleslaw at the end or am I assuming all of this  .Please excuse my doo la liness as can't think staright lately.

Maarias, sister thanks for ur speacial message and duas.........hope u r ok!!!!

Fazeee, how r u and where r u in ur treatmentall the very best to you.

Shino, I am sad that u r leaving us............please stay ............. would love to meet you and know u a bit more!!!!!!!  

Hope I haven't missed anyone..............stay coooooooooooooool and keep posiitve!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Snow i love ur analogy....very beautifully said mashAllah (i hope i have inserted the quote correctly....me being techniqal...lol lol

Snow


snowbelle said:


> They are instead the jewelery on a beautiful outfit - a dress will still look good without it, but better with it.
> love
> Snowbelle


Snow....i  u find a job soon hun.... i sometimes think being out of work...what will i do, i will get soo bored. Hence better to be home for a reason!! lol lol lol

Ren interview...ummmm not very well....i was soo nervous..lol ...Allah knows best!

Faz nice to hear from u hun 

Kp how was lunch??...i had a pasta veg bake....  (back to our favourite topic) tonight we are having spagettin bolognaise!!

Soni hun...where are you...hope ur doing well 

Love to all


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## soni

How can I forget Iman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  hope u r ok too and me thinking about u


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## DreamTeam

Soni - sorry to hear you gone a bit dooo-la-lallley!!        
I'm gonna miss you watching me drink coffee tomorrow (Soni - doesn't drink tea or coffee)! If you feel better text me as I'm going to meet another friend, so I can just get there earlier if you feel like it.

GW / Ren - See it was ok being at home when I was running my business as you know you are there for that. But before I hurt my foot I was reaching the conclusion it was time to move on (and I certainly did...to the hospital    I keep telling my GP to give me airmiles, I'm sure I'd have a round the world ticket by now!)


----------



## KittenPaws

FazWorld said:


> Also remember, if it is due to his problems that you are on FF, that also goes against his 'macho' image of himself.. he prob don't want to show you he is vulnerable and/or weak, so the only way around it is to show he isn't - by thumping you!


I dont think this is justified Islamically or otherwise. Under no circumstances that SisC has described does her husband have the right to "thump her" . I cant believe anyone would even consider saying this is acceptable or that it is an excuse for him. The need to show he is "macho" is a pathetic and weak excuse.
I am outraged by this suggestion.


----------



## DreamTeam

Totally agree - a person cannot justify hitting their spouse as means to feel more masculine /feminine 

snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

im with KP and snow on this...no way justified, no way at all.


----------



## soni

Well I agree to what others are saying that thumping is a complete no no but also wonder by reading the message again and again that I think Fazee is explaining SisterC the reason of her DH, dare I say abusive behaviour ............... not saying that it is right if this all is making any sense!!!!!!

Again excuse mu doooooooolaaaaaaaaaaaalinessssssss!!!!!!!


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## Godswill

Yes soni u are correct...by re-reading it Faz is giving a explanation for his behaviour...however that still doesnt justify his behaviour. Who do we think we are to lift a finger on anyone!! NO!


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## FazWorld

ASA 
sisters please remember we are talking about the DH of a sister on here - who is already vulnerable. Please let us not make the mistake of talking as if she is not here and able to read. JZK for those who understood what I was trying to say. SisterC I hope you understood! I am trying to say that he is just a mere mortal who maybe has other things on his mind and the only person close enough to him to lash out at his his wife. There is no justification for it - but unfortunately it is a fact of life that things like this do happen.. he will pay for it in the Akhirah for whatever he has done wrong. IA just pray for SisterC that he changes instead.

SisterC, all I am saying is that you are brave, and strong. You have to excuse him - and if you eventually find you can not take it anymore or have had enough, then take the route that Allah SWA has allowed women to take.. but give him a chance to get his head back in gear first! You said earlier that you no longer loved him - now you say that you do. Subhanallah! Allah SWA has granted you much Sabr.

Most of you sisters are young. As we get older, we start looking at how hard it may be to find another DH, and then ttc.. whilst the bodily clock is ticking away.. exponentially faster as you get older. I understand SisterC wanting to stay with her DH now rather than look for someone new.. please do not make her feel bad for wanting to stay with him.

Isn't there a hadith (IA will find it tomorrow) where one of the wives of the Prophet (SAW) said, "do not divorce me, but instead give my time with you to Aisha"...?

fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Hey
Whats everyone cooking for dinner tonight

I'm thinking pasta


----------



## Godswill

spagetti bolognaise...yum yum....!!

Pasta sounds nice............  send me some that way dotn have to cook! lol lol
soni u cooking??


----------



## soni

Snow I am going to ask the very same question when my DH is going to get home........

That the one thing I love about being PUPO!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Any suggestions and tips


----------



## DreamTeam

GW - I was looking for ideas!! 

We have barely been to the shops this month, I'm trying to buy nothing...I could make spinich and cheese pasta bake without the cheese -lol!


----------



## DreamTeam

Soni - mmm take away sounds good!!! 

Failing everything we have potato waffles in the freezer -


----------



## Godswill

oh sorry lol lol  

blonde moment....no offence to the blonds out there...  

Ummm cook....im useless in that department..the worst for me is deciding. I always ask dh and his answer is whatever....great.....!!

You could always have a takeaway...lol lol 

i think go with the spinach pasta bake....good idea.  

Ok ladies i am off home....so i shall speak to you all later...  

Sorry not much help


----------



## soni

Me thinking of making some dal chawal with raita and pickles............simple and easy!!!!!!!with some kebabs maybe!!!!!!!


----------



## Godswill

soni...yum yum yum.....    

im hungry now.....i can never make it DH doesnt like daal....   so i end up making it for my self but very rarely!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Same with my DH, the one and only time he ate dhal was when he met my mum for the first time. I say we have a dhal party at Soni's house!!!


----------



## soni

GW.........u r not alone!!!!!!!!!!My DH will not even touch it but it's for me and my little ones!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## soni

Oh please u all are sooooooooooooooo welcome, maybe haleem or kadhi party as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!DH not a big fan of all this stuff but me happy to cook and serve!!!!!


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## DreamTeam

then you need to make gluten free haleem else i can't eat it  

Whats kadhi??  do you mean kahri?


----------



## soni

Yes ,same yellow stuff with dumplings made of besan??can u eat besan??

HAleem will be without wheat and barley then just lentils and meat..............is it coooooooooool??


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## DreamTeam

I can eat besan no problems  . I can't eat wheat, rye, barley or oats.


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Jezach Allah Khair for your comments. No offence taken or meant. I think Faz has come the closest to understanding. Maybe that's because we are both in our 40's.

I joined this board when I was told about it by one of the sisters. I had gone on to the BBC TTC board because I was looking for someone to talk to that had an understanding both of Islam and of Middle Eastern men. Alhamdililah I found you all, and have used this board to let out some of the emotions I was going through.

Let me make it clear that I forgive dh for what he did. I even understand the frustration behind it. I was just shocked and stunned that he did it, because it was so unexpected and out of character. He said if I didn't like it I could go down the country, but I said I don't like it but I'm not leaving you. He let me thump him on the upper arm and he SMILED and everything was ok.

To be honest I am more violent than him. He can control his temper much better than I can. There is a huge cultural gap. He left home when he was 12 years old and was in the army so he did not know much about women. I had to teach him about pretend listening and hugs. He used to hug me like a man and slap me on the back the way the brothers do! He says that I don't understand and then I try to make him explain it verbally which he does not know how to do. His communication skills are not well developed.

So I came on here trying to understand him and to talk to others on the TTC road. Honestly it took so much out of me I was exhausted, confused by the retrograde ejaculation and relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with a second wife just yet, I was in emotional turmoil and the Clomid made me crazy. I have been the more violent of us both throughout the marriage. I am ashamed of my behaviour, it is not fair to judge him because there are 2 sides to every story and you are only getting my side from my selfish point of view. I can't have him being blamed. What he did last week was what a teacher would do when I was in school. He told me to call the police - it never crossed my mind. The Sheikh can usually help me understand dh's point of view but I haven't been able to get dh and him together.

Please don't judge my dh. We can never judge unless we have walked in the other person's shoes. Just make du'a for both of us.
SisterC


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## Iman

Salaams to all sisters!

Just popping in, not got much time...

Firstly Shino - please dont leave the board! I am not undergoing treatment, we are not TTC..but I am here! because we are still on the (long!) journey to meet our future family insha'allah....so I think that kind of qualifies me! Just cos you may not proceed with more treatment or even for a  while doesnt mean you dont have to deal with all the emotions of this all....and besides,  we are here chatting to one another alhamdulillah - not just because of TTC are we? we here chatting because of Islam as well alhamdulillah and that is what binds us...  I dont post that often because dont have that much to report but Im still here - and you should be too!!!

SisterC you sound much clearer and relaxed masha'allah. Dont think we are bored of your posts at all - we like to hear from you because we like to help you. And the other sisters are right - only you know your marriage and your DH truly - you are in our du'a and we are here to listen always insha'allah.

Maarias, Faz, KP, Snow, Godswill, Bagofnerves and anyong else I forgot - love and du'a

Im off to my parents for the weekend ( without DH) and half of me is looking forward to it, half is dreading it. Sometimes its not easy. Dont havea very good relationship with my father and try not to involve my mother in it as its not fair to put her in the middle. Our differences are so clear to me what with them not being muslim and not liking that I am...I need a great deal of patience because soemtimes I have to bite my tongue and many times its one step forward, 2 steps back....please make du'a for me and them insha'allah and wish me strength of character and iman over the next few days insha'allah

much love

xx


----------



## Godswill

wasalam ladies....

Iman   ahh thats nice ur going to see ur parents.....may Allah open their hearts to Islam and grant them understanding...Ameen

Soni...whens the dhaal, Kadhi and haleem party....    lol


Much love and duas


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaiom sisters

Insha Allah you will be stong and patient, Iman, with your parents. I have already told you how opposed my father was to Islam. Just be the best muslim you can be and do dawah with them that way. It was dh who softened his heart even though he didn't accept Islam. It is very hard when your parents die as ******* so do your utmost while they are still alive, so you have no regrets in future. I don't know how to send a personal message or I would have sent this privately. 

How do you send a personal message?

Well alhamdililah I am calm. Insha Allah I will talk to dh later tonight and if he's in a good humour I'll be good and if he's not I'll I don't know how I'll be. I'll let you know insha Allah.

Soni when will you know what the story is with you? 

Today is CD9 for me and insha Allah we start TTC on CD11.

Snowbelle don't forget to make du'a for me please while you are travelling.

Kittenpaws - I smile at your posts, masha Allah you are so young and idealistic. I used to be like you but age and experience changed me, made me see that life is not black and white but various shades of grey. 

Alhamdililah, Islam makes clear the halal and the haram, and gives us guidelines. Like a runway in the darkness. 

Sisters, let none of us be complacent, let none of us take our dh's for granted, let none take love for granted. Let none of us take for granted that we will wake in the morning, let us all live with awareness that our lives can end at any time. Let us send before us as many good deeds as possible. Let us give his rights to Allah and to our dh's. Ameen.

There is a hadith that says that our dh's can have sores with pus coming out from them and even if the wives lick the pus from the wounds we would still not be giving our dh his rights.
SisterC


----------



## FazWorld

ASA sisters

I had a Roasted Veggie Pasta in Pesto sauce bake yesterday. mmm yummy.. It also happens to be DH's favourite.

1 courgette thinly sliced, 
3-4 mushrooms thinly sliced, 
1 medium red onion chopped into 1 inch squares and seperated
1 pepper chopped into squares. 
Bung all the above into oven to roast or in a griddle pan (which is nice cos then get nice black charcoaled lines in veg - take care cos the mushrooms give off a lot of water!)
Finely chop 1 clove of garlic, and 1 bullet chilli (to taste).
10 -15 black olives
2-3 sun-dried tomatoes chpped into 1cm squares.
1/2 bottle of pesto sauce (Bertolli is good) - 
Olive oil.
Heat all the above together in a wok or pan with the vegetables, until piping hot.
Add 250-300 grams of cooked Pasta and continue to cook for about 5 mins.
Place in an ovenproof dish and sprinkle with 125g of cheese. Place in oven for 10mins or until cheese melts. Serve immediately. Serves 2-3 people.

If you like cooking, try that, anyone thats eaten it loves it, and I'm sure yr DH would enjoy it too.. 

oh btw.. its best to do it all multi-tasking if possible, as it usually takes me at least 30-45 mins to do if I rush!!!

Its also nice without the cheese bake, just served as a pasta with loads of Parmesan cheese.. mmmm (even if I say so myself!!) 

Fazworld.


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam Faz....  

Yum that does sounf yum   my DH loves Pasta bake so i will def give it a go...jzk


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies,

sorry to labour the point but..



FazWorld said:


> Isn't there a hadith (IA will find it tomorrow) where one of the wives of the Prophet (SAW) said, "do not divorce me, but instead give my time with you to Aisha"...?


Boy - did I get it wrong... I believe this is what I was trying to quote but got it completely wrong!! 

Narrated Aisha: Regarding the explanation of the following verse:-- "If a wife fears Cruelty or desertion On her husband's part." (4.12 A man may dislike his wife and intend to DIVORCE her, so she says to him, "I give up my rights, so do not DIVORCE me." The above verse was revealed concerning such a case. (Book #43, Hadith #630)

Apologies for the error - its a good thing I went back to check on my hadith quotations!!! 

Fazworld


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Faz I think the hadith about giving the rights to Aisha is also authentic. Wa Allahu Alim.

Insha Allah I am going back to dh this evening with his permission, and insha Allah we will go to the clinic. However, he still sounds as if he needs time alone. He is very unenthusiastic.

Please please keep me in your du'as.
SisterC


----------



## Godswill

Wasalam Faz,

The hadith u wer ethinking of is as follows....

It was his 2nd wife after Khadija (RA) passed away Sawda Bint Zam'a

When she was older, the prophet was worried that Sawda might be upset about having to compete with so many younger wives, and offered to divorce her. She said that she would give her night to A'isha, of whom she was very fond, because she only wanted to be his wife on the Day of Rising. She lived on until the end of the time of Umar ibn al Khattab. She and A'isha always remained very close. 

XXX


----------



## Godswill

p.s that above quote is to be found in Bukhari and Muslim.


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies 

phew! JZK for that. I thought I had just cast a great shame on the Prophet SAW as I could not find the source. 

I do try and find out my sources as much as possible, but when I couldn't I was a bit worried.. all over thanks to you all! 

Speak later.. Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salm

BarakAllah hu feek!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Just been out to meet my dear friend and her very cute son. Alhumdulilah she is pregnant (more pregnant people following be around the world), inshallah it works out fine this time as a few months ago she had a miscarriage. Picked up a few little treats for myself in from the shops (a size smaller than normal ) seems like the cut crap / half portion diet is finally working!!!

Where is everyone by the way

love

Snowbelle

Ps

I decided to do some research into SisterC's quote about husbands and pus etc


SisterC said:


> There is a hadith that says that our dh's can have sores with pus coming out from them and even if the wives lick the pus from the wounds we would still not be giving our dh his rights.
> SisterC


and found the following...

Fatwâ Department Research Committee of IslamToday chaired by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî

It is true that al-Albânî included this hadîth in Sahîh al-Jâmi`. He also includes it in Sahîh al-Targhîb wal-Tarhîb, where he declares it "authentic on account of other narrations" (sahîh li-ghayrihî). This means that its chain of transmission is not authentic on its own, but that it is supported by other narrations.

However, many other scholars disagree with this assessment and consider the text of this hadîth to be false (munkar). We favor the position that the hadîth is false.

Shu`ayb al-Arna'ût, in his marginal notes on Musnad Ahmad (20/65) considers the first statement in this hadîth, the one about prostration, to be authentic on account of other narrations, and the addition about pus to be inauthentic. (We must understand that the first part of the hadîth regarding prostration is found in many other narrations besides the narration that mentions licking pus.)

He writes: "This phrase is narrated only by Husayn al-Marrûdhî from Khalaf b. Khalîfah. Khalaf was a narrator who tended to mix up his narrations before the time of his death."

***********************************************************************

Inshallah I will leave it to the ulema, however I think its clear the meaning, whether the "pus" element is sahih or not, is that Husbands have rights over us.

At the same time, there are also clear Hadith about treatment. For example :-

It was narrated from 'Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ruled, "There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm."

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 'Be kind to women.'"(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153; Muslim, 146.

Al-Qurtubi said:

It was also narrated from him - i.e., Ibn 'Abbaas - that this means: they have the right to good companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the commands of their husbands.

And it was said that they have the right that their husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.

Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.

The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all of that in the rights and duties of marriage.

(Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124)


----------



## Godswill

Ren            party in here...i am sooo happy for you hun....may Allah make this step run smoothly and quickly...Ameen


----------



## DreamTeam

Ren - wow!!! Alhumdulilah thats SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool!! Inshallah we are going to be reading your diary and welcoming your little one into the world really soon!!! 

Time now for loads of positive thoughts!!


----------



## Godswill

Ren...look forward to reading ur diarys.....i am happy things are progressing with u.   

 that it all results in a   hun


----------



## DreamTeam

This is all so amazing!!!

Inshallah its all going to result in a BFP for you   

Wheres KP?


----------



## DreamTeam

Well it sounds better that you guys are married and have been trying for 3 years...BUT I know I've said this before you need to get your insides out just incase you have got fibroids or something - the clotting isn't normal and it is better to get them checked out before you get BFP.


----------



## DreamTeam

Ren / GW - sometimes they proceed with IVF if you have fibroids but sometimes (and this is a horror story and unfortunately there are real stories like this on the fibroids board)   a fibroid can go on to kill a baby in the womb because it takes the blood supply . I know what I am saying sounds really scary, but everything you've said before: pain during   large clots, and the quantity of AF are all signs individually of fibroids. I really pray I'm wrong and your insides are perfect inshallah, but do get yourself checked out sooner so that the IVF opportunity doesn't slip away.   

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Ren I'm joining you on the dance floor!!       

Love

Snowbelle


----------



## KittenPaws

Im here!  

been in meetings all afternoon, and then had a mother get all hysterical on me and had to sort that out, now im back! Ahhh. Off home soon, getting a haircut tonight! Yay! Its way too long these days. 

Ren- MashAllah great great great news! I cannot wait to hear some more fantastic news. My love & duas are with you! 

hello everyone else!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

KP   was missing you  , get on the dancefloor!!!

Ren - They found my fibroid through a normal pelvic internal scan so it doesn't take rocket science to find it, just its better to be insistent. Sometimes as well you need to guide the consultant eg " I read about fibroids and I have the following symptoms..." just gets them to think about things another way. Sometimes I think that they just need to be guided or show that you are informed about what is happening and they can't fob you off. 



Snowbelle


----------



## KittenPaws

Yeah baby! LOL

I havent had one for ages. I go to this muslim lady she works at toni and guy and on thursdays and mondays works from home. So its a room at the back of her house and its really good. All the hijabis go there! LOL

Dinner tonight ... take out. DH is picking it up, havent got time to cook. Beauty comes first!


----------



## DreamTeam

Cool Ren, I'll lay off you now for a bit  

Whats for dinner chez nous??  This is cheeky, I convinced my mum that she needs me and DH over tonight so yummy lamb chop saalon and rice          

I hate hairdressers! I just can't see it as a relaxing experience I just sit there so tense!!  

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Salams

Boy i only went away from half an hour...missed soo much ...lol

hey dont forget me ...              

well we are having yesterdays left overs....we hate wasting food....lots ok keema left over...so will make rotti with it...and finish it!! Call me a bad wife....   nah mashAllah my hubby is good like that,not fussy at all....mashAllah.


----------



## soni

Salam All,


Just a quick one today for Ren,It's all getting so close and real for u now.I want to wish u all the best and do let us know if we can be of any help!!!!!!!!!

GW, hope u r ok hun,thanks for ur positive wishes!!!!!

Snow, hope u had a nice coffee this AM!!!!!   to u

SisterC,Goodluck for tomorrow  

Fazee, nice recepie, will definetly give it a go!!!!!!!!1

KP,hope u r looking very glamorous after having  a haircut!!!!!

Love,

Soni


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Ren Mabrook. Also I am glad you are going to have your insides checked out - I think it needs to be checked. Better safe than sorry.

The hadith I mentioned is quoted by Brother Aboo Tasneem Dawud Adeeb - an american caller to Islam, who follows the Sunnah, but I can't remember the source.Sorry, but you can find his lectures at www.troid.org
I kinda grew in Islam listening to him.
It isn't backbiting if you are discussing something with the intention to solve a problem. I am trying to UNDERSTAND my husband, and to find a safe annonymous emotional outlet among sisters who are also TTC. This is not backbiting.

Soni hang on.

Faz, Iman, Snow, Shino and anyone I've missed  

Keep me in your du'a 
SisterC


/links


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

I have just had a "lightbulb" moment.

Dh was talking about the clinic tomorrow, saying I might have to go alone. I told him that they need him there tomorrow, What we need to do is bd about one hour before we're seen by the docs so if they want to check how much, if any sperm are reaching me. He wanted to know why the doctors will want him, and I said they might give him tablets or talk to him about how the problem started. He asked me out straight "now, the problem is with me?". What could I do? I nodded and when he exploded I tried to say it is Qadr, it is not his fault, that I am on tablets too (Clomid). He is very angry and can't believe it. Maybe this is what has been eating him away the last few months.  He is far too angry to talk about it or for me to get close in any way to him.

Please make du'a for both of us 
SisterC


----------



## Shino

Salaams Ladies!

How is everybody? Thank you so much for all your kind words - Snowbelle, Godswill, Soni, Ren, SisterC, Iman, Kittenpaws.

I took my test this morning knowing that it would be negative, but had to for formality and plus didnt want a spare pregnancy test hanging around the house to remind me! I havent had a chance to call the hospital today to tell them, I suppose I will tommorow...

Had a strange few days - but thats another story! 

After lectures today went to a friends house and spent pretty much all afternoon and evening with her, the poor girl has had so much trouble in her life, I had heard her sister of 36 yrs passed away after a heart attack and I went to give my condolences and pray for her sister - may Allah swt gives her Jannat e firdous Ameen.

Ren so glad your on your way to starting treatment!! Hope you have a stress free journey and it results in REN junior inshallah!! 

Am knackered and got lots of seminar prep to do, might just go to sleep!

oh btw had a hiarcut yesterday, and today looks a mess, why doesnt the hair stay exactly the same way when they style it the next day!!! I just had a trim and refreshed the layers, wanna grow my hair as long as poss, to see how far I can get it! Plus It's my birthday on saturday, wanted to freshen up, my mate is coming down from london and my other friend is throwing a birthday party for me, was supposed to be a surprise but my lil sister cant keep a secret  so it will get my mind of things I suppose! 

Lots of love shino xxxx


----------



## KittenPaws

Ahh a week for haircuts! Mine went okay, cut a fair bit off but its still long. Just was becoming unmanageble and wanted it to be easier. So its still long but not tooooooooo long!

Shino im sure it looks gorgous hun, mashAllah!

     

Happy Birthday SHINO for Saturday!

Mines Sunday .... Yay!


----------



## Godswill

wasalam Ren....

Ok i let u off, as u work nights .... 

Ummm im not sure....i have thought about it for ages....not just becasue i spoke to SIL, i have mulled it over in my head a million times...i=dont get me wrong i want kids soo bad but just dont know if i can put my self through the ivf route and the drugs etc....Allah knows best. I will see and think more after lap!!!

Sooooo where is everyone hiding....    its soo quite here at work too!!! 

Ren ur mashAllah lucky...in my area to qulaify for NHS Ivf treatment one must be 35 and never had private treatment before. I pray inshAllah u get a   and have twins....that would be a miracle....but u never know hun   

mwah to all


----------



## Godswill

SubhanAllah.....3 ivf's and 6 iui's wow wow...in London they give u 3 goes too...so i have been told!!

Whta ever Allah decides...we shall c inshAllah

So what are ur plans for weekend


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Well me here and luking and going insane slowly  

Ren,Masha'Allah u r lucky to have so many goes at NHS.I have always paid for my treatments(IUI and IVF) as in croydon we have only one NHS go only if u haven't attempted before.no iuis even so i think in lodon it depends which borough r u living in!!!!!!

So news of prernancy or birth are still following me.My SIL(My bruv's wife)have just told me that she is expecting and Masha'Allah due in May.My other SIL(DH's Bro's wife)is expecting and due in March so it's just my SIL(DH sis) left to announce her pregnancy or myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have been there done that sort of feeling so all coool just patiently waiting for my turn now Insha'Allah!!!!!

How r u Godswill?Hope u have nice plans for weekend.

Where is Snowbelle today.........oh she had a physio apptt today!!!!!!

KP, how r u?? looking and feeling FAB I believe!!!!

Iman and to rest of ladies,  

Love,

Me


----------



## FazWorld

HI all,

just a quickie to say SisterC - I hope your meeting went well. I pmd you earlier. Did you get it? 

Take care and will chat on Monday to all you loverly ladies Insha allah.

fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
Just a quick one as I'm about to collapse and go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Spent this morning at hospital with my mum and then after that I had hydro...so shattered!

WS

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Dh came to the clinic with me and got us thrown off the program. We were told to get marriage counselling. I am very annoyed with him. He was still in his angry foul mood until later in the day when I was hysterical. I don't know what changed him. We did the bd when he found out it was CD11 but said I hadnt' told him, I had but he was too angry to listen.

So everything is supposed to be alright?? I am confused and though he said he loves me he followed it with a 'but'. I can't remember what the but was. I am still hurt and confused. We talked about divorce when he was angry but later he was talking in terms of the future. We are supposed to be going to the Sheikh on Tuesday morning. Make du'a he comes because I am totally confused, I dont' understand him or our relationship.

The doc gave him the name of some kind of vitamins/minerals he needs, and told him to drink lots of water to get the sperm volume up. but he did NOT confirm retrograde ejaculation. He said he didn't know why I wasn't getting pregnant until we talked about frequency and amount of bding. Dh told him we don't bd, that our marriage is at zero, and the doc said there is no point in continuing on the Clomid if we are not bding enough. I had told dh before that we needed to do it more often but he wouldn't. 

I prayed Istikara about issusing dh an ultimatum - either you come with me to the Sheikh or you divorce me. I asked many times for divorce, but he said that he would only divorce me if I go back down the country and do my iddah there. So insha Allah we will see what happens between now and Tuesday.

I really don't know what to do or think. Keep me in your dua's sisters I need all the help I can get. I still feel hurt and sad, and inclined to think a divorce and marriage with someone with a higher sex drive.

I don't know what put dh in the black humour that lasted 3 months and I don't know what has taken him out of it, unless it is Allah answering my du'a. I just don't want to spend the next 20 years like this.

Keep me in your du'a please
sisterC


----------



## Godswill

Salam all....

A beautiful reminder....may Allah allows us to achieve such a state....Ameen

The People of Taqwa

This is a beautiful piece attributed to 'Ali ibn Abi Talib (radhiallahu `anhu) when asked by Ibn Shurayh to describe the people of taqwa (piety):

'When Allah created His creation, He did so while He was completely independent of their obedience towards Him and of their disobedience towards Him. No disobedience can hurt Him and no obedience can benefit Him. Then He distributed amongst them (the creation) their means of sustenance and placed them on earth. The people of Taqwa on earth are those of virtue: their speech is correct (true); their garments are of moderate nature and their walk is one of humility. They lower their gaze when they see something that Allah has forbidden them to see and they give ear to beneficial knowledge. They maintain their integrity in both adversity and prosperity.

Had it not been for the appointed time that Allah has written for them (death), their souls would not remain an extra second in their bodies out of yearning for reward and fear of punishment. The Creator ranks Supreme in their eyes, so everything else becomes immaterial to them. They are with Paradise as if they had already witnessed it and enjoyed its presence. They are with Hell as if they have already seen it and tasted its torment. Their hearts grieve and their evil (if any) is non-contagious. Their bodies are lean, their needs are few and their souls are chaste.

They observe patience for a few days and experience everlasting comfort. This is a profitable exchange that their Lord has made pleasant for them. The world tempts them, but they do not succumb. It imprisons them, but they ransomed themselves in exchange.

During the nights they stand in rows and read portions of the Quran. They recite with proper recitation which grieves their hearts and drink it (the Quran) like medicine. If a verse of yearning comes along, they reach for it and believe it is their destination. If an intimidating verse comes along, they pour their hearts towards it and believe that Hell and its screams are in their ears. They sleep on their foreheads and elbows (i.e. they engage in prayers so much that it is as if they sleep in those postures) and implore Allah to deliver them.

In the day, they are tolerant and learned, kind and God-fearing. Fear has chipped away at their bodies as if they were arrows. Anyone looking at them would think that they were sick. But they are not sick. Some will say that they are confused. A great fear has made them look like that. They are never content to do only a few actions (during the day), nor do they ask for a great deal. They condemn themselves and are apprehensive about their deeds.

If one of them is called 'pious', he fears what will be said of him and says: 'I know myself better than you do. My Lord knows me better than I do. O Allah! Do not take me to task for what they are saying about me and (O Lord) make me better than they think. Forgive my sins which they do not know about.'

Their signs are that they are strong in Islam, resolute in their softness; firm in their belief. They crave for knowledge and are knowledgeable with tolerance; moderate in richness; pleasant in hunger; forbearing in distress; seeking Halal; active in (pursuing) guidance and they abhor greed.

They perform good deeds in fear (of rejection). They spend the evening in gratitude and the morning in remembrance. They sleep in alarm and they awake in joy. If their carnal selves make it difficult for them to fulfil that which they dislike they deprive them (their selves) of that which they like. The apple of their eyes is in what does not perish and their abstemiousness in what disappears. They combine knowledge with tolerance and speech with action.

You will find their hopes are realistic, their mistakes few; their hearts humble, their selves content; their diet meagre, their matters simple, their Deen safe-guarded, their desires killed and their anger subdued. Goodness is expected from them and evil is shielded against them. If they are among those who are oblivious, they are counted amongst those who remember (Allah). If they are among those who remember, they are not written among the oblivious. They pardon those who wrong them; they provide for those who deprive them, and meet those who severe ties with them. They are never profane and always lenient. Their wrong doings are almost non-existent and their good deeds are always present. They are resolute when the earth quakes, steadfast in calamities and grateful in prosperity.

They are no prejudiced against those they dislike nor do they favour those they love. They acknowledge the truth before it appears and do not lose anything they are entrusted with. They do not call anyone names nor do they hurt their neighbours. They do not curse at the time of difficulties nor do they venture into falsehood.
Silence does not bother them and if they laugh, they do not raise their voices. If they are treated with injustice they remain patient until Allah vindicates them.
Their own selves live in toil while others are comfortable around them.

Their abstinence from those who stay away from them is their exoneration (from malice). Their proximity to those who are close to them, is a means of mercy (for those who are close to them). Their remaining aloof is not out of pride and arrogance and their being close is neither a ploy nor a scheme.

Love and duas


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

Soni - are you sure you didn't test early It could just be a mistake. Don't feel like its all over straight away...it could still happen inshallah.            

much love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams,
Where is everyone hiding today 

SisterC - so sorry to hear that your TTC has been thwarted by the doctor and your DH. Inshallah things will work out for you, somehow..

lots of love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

Hi Snowbelle,

Wow - only 2 days to go for your hols!... I went to Malaysia, before kids were born..We combined it with a Pak trip. Went to Pak, spent a week there, went on to KL, spent a few days there, did the sight-seeing etc.. we were in a self-catering apartment in this big hotel. Every morning, I would take a stroll to the corner where there was this woman selling fresh fruit (melons, pineapples, water-melon etc all by the slice) which I would take back and we would have for breakfast...during the day see the palaces, gardens, the Petronas Towers etc... in the evening we would go into the market in the town centre, do some shopping and eat. 

We then took a coach to Singapore for a few days, that was so great, it was cheap, and we saw the real countryside along the way - much better than flying I thought, tho DH didn't agree (tho I think it took about 6 hours or something (maybe it was more) can't remember).. (Singapore is just loads and loads of shopping malls and expensive ones at that!), Went across to Sentosa Island (wot a rip-off place and wot a waste of a day!).. then we headed back to Pak for a further week...

One thing, if you heavily into bags/watches, see which bags you like here, even take photos of them and then get the copies/fakes from the market stalls.. some off them are brilliant quality... oh and don't be afraid to bargain... if they say 2000, you say 200...and walk away if they say no.. if they can do it they will call you back but will come down slowly! Always use the 10% rule.. they don't get offended.. The other way is to say.. 'I don't want to offend you by telling you what I want to pay'...they then force you and so you have to tell them reluctantly your 10% price... also don't buy the first item, have a good look around the market first, then when you ready, you know where to go..(apologies if you already know all this). Another trick is to never hold your money in wads. Hold it in small packs, then show them 'look this is all I have' - if they believe you and they can do it - they will let you have it!

Ahhhh! Alhumdolillah it was great.... 

If I don't get to say it b4 u go, have a wonderful time.. 

Fazworld.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone but particularly Fazie and Ren...
Where is everyone 

Fazie that all brilliant advice, inshallah will try and remember it all AND put it in to action!! However DH keeps telling me I need to get over trying to get a bargain as it won't be happening - he blames the un-camoflage-able white snowman who will be stood behind me while this all happens    but I won't be deterred!!! Inshallah I should be able to pick a few things. 

Ren - Hows this for a thought, one of the hotels we stay in has a chocolate fountain...at breakfast 

lots of love to everyone if I don't get a chance to catch up later, praying for lots of BFP by the time I get back - no pressure girls!

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA everyone..

Snow, don't worry if you do have a 'un-camoflage-able white snowman' with you.. just remember, they know everyone there is a tourist, it just depends on how resolute you are. The way to tell they can't drop their prices any further is they will LET you walk away.. but remember always check out the entire market before actually buying anything, cos then you get a flavour of the real price. The worst feeling is getting an absolute bargain, only to go to the next stall and find you been ripped off!!! 

right Ren asked for a meat recipe.. well.. not quite meat, but mince made into burgers! This is another of my DH's favourites, so made it for him yesterday and he LOVED them.. (obv for kids I left out the chillies and served with waffles) ..here goes..

500g/1lb of lamb mince
1 small onion
2-3 chillies
1 clove garlic
small bunch of green coriander
1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon of ground red chilly
1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon of ground garam masala
1/4 teaspoon of ground turmeric (cos its good for you)
1 teaspoon of ground garlic/ginger
1/2 teaspoon tandoori masala (optional)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 medium onion sliced into rings (optional)

Grind the green chillies, garlic, a smidgen of salt and the coriander in a blender or pestle/mortar (don't need to go crazy, just as much as you can!) Take half the mixture and put aside. Add the onion to the remaining mixture and whizz to a lumpy paste (as much as possible). Take the mixture, add it to the mince and all the ground masalas, garlic/ginger and salt and mix together well. Divide into equal flat burgers, will prob make about 6-8. Best way to cook them is under the grill. Line a baking dish with foil paper, place the burgers flat into the dish and place under grill. Don't worry if you can only get a few initially, as they cook, they shrink and harden. Watch constantly, move around and turn over frequently, placing new ones in as more room becomes available. When kebabs are cooked, (turn a nice dark brown colour on both sides), remove and eat hot. If you want juicy flavoured onion rings, place the onion rings UNDER the kebabs in the grill. As the kebabs cook, they will give off juices that will be absorbed by the onions. Once the onions are browned and soft, remove and set aside for garnish (or eat immediately). It is easy to clean up as well, as a lot of fat will be left in the foil in the dish at the end. Leave it to harden, remove the foil and throw it away!! The dish should be clean and no fat to dispose off!

I normally serve with a finely cut salad of tomatoes/cucumber/onion salad that has been mixed with a little lemon juice and yogurt mixture, onion rings all served in a bun... 

For the yogurt mixture, add some of the green chilly mixture (from earlier) - add according to taste, with care as this mixture is VERY chilly!!   (any of the chilly mixture left over can be frozen for next time!) If you don't wish to make this very chilly yogurt, cut down the number of green chillies to 1-2.


Fazworld


----------



## FazWorld

Hi Dibley 

well done you!!! and with your HCG going up like that - r u sure you haven't got twins?? 

All the best and Insha allah this will work and you will have a babe in arms in 9 months!

fazworld


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

Dibley , woooooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!        .All the very best to you aand ur DH.I am praying for ur safe pregnancy and happiness!!!!!!

Well our   was confirmed today by beat hcg!!!!!!Feeling sad but not devastated!!!!DH has taken some time off work so we are just trying to overcome the whole situation.Don't know what will be the next step as we thought we will achieve something at ARGC and this hope has gone too but it has confirmed my fears that problem lies with implantation somehow!!!!!!!!We have follow up consultation on 2nd december and maybe then we will have some definite answers.Maybe you can guide me what should I ask them??and how we can improve our chances.

Snow, have a wonderful hols.........we will meet when u'll get back!!!!

Godswill,I can't thank you enough for ur messages of support!!!!

Ren,hope u r ok hun!!

fazworld, goodluck with your treatment!!!!!!

KP, how r u

Iman,sisterC,bagonerves,shino,Maarias ................ thinking of u

Love,

Soni


----------



## FazWorld

asa Soni,

sorry about your BFN..

I know I may have said this b4, but deffo ask about doing assisted Hatching. Don't neccessarily go to Blast. 
In Feb I went to Blast and the embies were a bit reluctant to grow, but still managed a grade 3 out of a harvest of 8 eggs. That is probably down to my age.

When I had my twins, I had 2 failed attempts using perfect grade 1 embies - none of them ever implanted. We then did the same using AH and this time all 3 implanted. DH was a bit purturbed with me for not sticking to a winning formula at our last failed attempt in Feb. That is the only reason we are trying again, else that was supposed to have been our last.

In my current treatment, I don't care, I am going to do day3 with AH and allow them to go to blast inside me.. who knows what diff the environment can make? With AH, at least you know that if it is implantation issues, then at least the shell won't be the hindrance, cos it already been cracked to help the embie escape and implant.. after that if it is still an implantation issue, then that down to the embie itself. 

Hope that helps?

Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

Wa'alaykum assalam w'r'w'b

Soni my sweet  , unfortunately i cant advise on this matter as i dont have a clue...sorry   I guess after ur consultation with ARGC u will know more. May be take a break for a while get ur thoughts together, u and dh. Once u have had time to diggest everything then with a clear head u guys can come to a decsion as to where u go now. I would also suggest istikhara, nothing better then to consult our creator.!!! U need anything hun we are all here...... 


Sorry for not being much help

Love and duas  


P.s what Faz recomenneded sounds good?? She definitly knows what she is talking about!!


----------



## DreamTeam

go diblley 

I think it is fair to say the party is definitely on in the Religion room!!! Thats absolutely fantastic!!! Praying that your bambino grows big and strong!!!

Finally everyone is back!!!

I haven't been up to much, just packinig, unpacking and repacking!! Spent today at the hospital with my mum while she had part 2 of her heart tests. Inshallah the tests come back clear or they find out whats wrong and inshallah it can be fixed. 

Soni - Inshallah you guys are getting strong and taking time for yourselves and finding new things to concentrate on for now. I've got no practical advice to offer  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Ren - lol! Yeah blame on me and the chocolate fountain! My friend actually bought one and I have to say by the time we had finished up neither us could bring ourselves to look at the stuff again!!!


----------



## Shino

Salaamz Ladies 

How is everyone?

Congrats Dibley on your BFP!!!! I'm sooo happy for you  you prayers were answered may you have an easy and stress free 8 months or so ahead of you  

Soni - sorry to hear about your BFN - just keep trying and inshallah you will get there oneday.

Snowbelle have a wicked time in Malaysia,I suppose you can have as much chicken satay as you want when you get there!! I'm sure your gonna have a great time!

How are you Ren? How was the dholki? I love a good party! 

My mum and sisters and friends threw a surprise birthday party for me on saturday, I met my 2nd cousin after 14 yrs and my little cousins for the first time...was extremeley emotional but we all partied away was great, I'm still aching !!

I have also been really busy with my Uni work, we got soo much to do it's ridiculas, hence infrequent posts...but you are all in my duas 

SisterC how are things, Fazworld your recipe is yummy, Iman, KP where are ya girls!! How was your Birthday KP? 

Godswill sorry to hear about you not getting that, you win some you lose some 

Maarias and bagofnerves hope you guys are groovy too!!

Take care all, the law books are waiting for me


----------



## Godswill

Salam Ren,


ur up i can see....  

I have a bag of cheese balls tempting me...yum yum  ........ok i gave up...munching on them as i type...nice!!  

so u enjoyed ur dolkhi...personnaly i dont attend such functions...as in my family theres no concept of segregation!!!

You off to work soon?

So where is everyone...?

Iman...how was ur stay at ur parents house...? hope u chilled out hun?

shino nice to hear from you......keep the mails coming  

love to all


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

What is a mehendi and a dolkhi?

I've been to the sheikh and my dh told him he didn't want a divorce, that it was me, and that he would never divorce me until the angel of death comes to take his soul. 

So I called his bluff, and now I know he is just playing games with my head. Insha Allah I am going to grow a thicker skin and not listen when he is in his dark moods. I used to let it flow off me like water and it didn't bother me. Something changed inside me and I let it get to me. I am going to have to find a way to get back to where I was before. Dh says that he has a bad character. 

So I am in my 2WW now.

SisterC


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

Just popping in. Congrats to Dibley!  

Big thank you to all the girls who helped me with my ******** problem! After 3 emails to them AFTER your bug reports, I *think* its been fixed! I can finally do things again! phew, alhamdulillah. Insha'allah it stays that way this time! Jazak'allah khairun for all your help

Snow - think I have missed you! In which case if you happen to read this from Malaysia ( and you better not - you better be enjoying your holiday and not surfing the net from there!) hope you are having a fabulous time insha'alllah. Much deserved!

Du'a and hugs to Soni and Shino and lots of du'a for Ren and the end to the evil tablets! your all in my du'a.  

Godswill great news about your sis may Allah swt bless her with a long and happy marriage insha'allah. 

Faz and Barbie du'a and hugs    too

Shino sis, glad to see you have decided to stick with us alhamdulillah! keep up the good work with the study!!

Sister C great news on DH and the Sheikh alhamdulillah. Hope you are well and all is good. With every hardship comes relief. Du'a for the 2WW!  

No news from me really. Just real busy with work and artwork and stuff. Saw my parents last weekend and had a lovely time alhamdulillah so all seems to be well there  

Dh quit his job as you know ( yay!) and has now an interview lined up for next week. Sent his CV to lots of agencies and seems to be well received alhamdulillah so only better things ahead for him work insha'allah. Still gonna do the business eventually but not sure when as bloomin recession has put a spanner in the works for now! Insha'allah we will still be on track though to get back in touch with the adoption agency in Feb next year though   Im so excited! I wonder where our child is, if they have even been born yet, what their name is and what they look like....they could be anywhere!  ....hope they are ok whereever they are insha'allah   and Allah swt watches over them.

Much love to all, must go

xxxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Dibley - Congratulations. May Allah grant you a happy, healthy, pious child and an easy pregnancy and birth.

Soni - I tried to PM you but it didn't work - I am so sorry   my heart bleeds for you. May Allah grant you something better, and lots of Sabr and ease with this difficulty.

Ren - thanks for all the smiles!!!

Bagof nerves - where are you and what's happening with you?

Shino - glad you're staying

I missed saying good bye to Snowbelle but insha Allah when she comes back and reads this she'll know I'm praying for a safe trip for her.

Iman, Faz and anyone I've forgotten salaams

I want to thank you all for being there for me over the last few months when I was going through emotional torture and turmoil. I especially want to thank the sister who invited me here in the first place. Alhamdililah, I am so happy to have found you all. Expressing what was going on in my life and marriage was necessary for me to be able to cope. Dh is not angry any more. I still don't know why he got angry in the first place or why he is not angry any more. 

I am just thankful first to Allah and then to you all that we seem to have turned a corner. I am packing up all my belongings - he wants the house cleared and all my stuff moved down the country as he plans to rent out the rooms in Dublin.

There is a book I wanted to recommend to you all. "Natural Solutions to Infertility- How to increase your chances of conceiving and preventing miscarriage" by Marilyn Glenville PhD ISBN 0 7499 2059 9 published by Judy Piatkus(Publishers) Limited. There are some amazing statistics there.

SisterC


----------



## Iman

Asslaamu alaikum sister C

this is great news and I am very pleased to hear this Alhamdulillah! you sound a lot happier. And as for saying to thank you to us all. you are of course very welcome, I think I can say that on behalf of everyone, this is what sisters are here for! wish you all the happiness in the world insha'allah. 

xx


----------



## Maarias

Soni - I've only just found out about your bfn - I'm so sorry honey


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Hope u all are well!!!

SisterC, good to know that things are finally getting better.I hope this is a begining of a new phase in ur life and Insha'Allah lots of happiness is waiting for u.

Godswill, hope u  r ok.SubhanAllah beautiful dream!!!!!!!!!!!Insha'Allah it will come true for many of us Ameen!!!!

Ren, How r uthinking of u hun  

Iman, great to hear from u too!!!!!!!Hope things will start getting better with this recession soon.I think all of us are suffering in one way or the other.

Maarias, Thanks for ur message!!!!!!It's good to know that I have soo many people thinking about me.

KittenPaws, hope u r well too ........  

I am still muddled shocked and confused over what has happened but it will get better with time insha'Allah!!!!!will see what they say at the follow up apptt and take things from there....

Love,

Soni


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies,

Day 16 of pill... it is not supposed to have an side-effects/ sysmptoms but feel AF twinges on and off at the mo...I have my pill scan next Tuesday Insha allah, afte rwhich they will get me to start my nasal spray for a week, and then start my injections.. I am on hols next week for kids half term. I tend not to come on here from home, but I will be itching to chat!

Anyways, Insha Allah may Allah grant us peace, iman, and contentment and loadsa BFP's!!!!  

Before I go, here is a very simple lamb chop recipe..
8-12 lamb chops (pref back chops)
half cup of yogurt
1/2 - 1 teaspoon of ground red chilli
1/2 - 1 teaspoon of ground garam masala
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of tandoori masala
1-2 teaspoons of ground garlic/ginger
2 tablespoons of lemon juice

Mix all the ingredients (add the chillies/garam masala according to taste) together and allow to marinate for a while. Place in an ovenproof dish, cover with foil (alternatively, place in lots of foil close edges to make an envelope with plenty of room for steam to accumulate and place this foil package in dish to save on cleaning) and place in oven for approx 1 hour (unless you prefer your meat cooked rare!) on high heat (about 200deg)

Occasionally turn chops over, they will give out a lot of juices and fat... leave it to cook in these juices as it will keep them moist. The chops will turn a beautiful brown colour and the liquid will dry out - take care to watch it carefully at this point else once water runs out, they will burn! These can be taken out and served immediately. 

I like to serve these with oven roast potatoes and oven roasted vegetables. 

Insha allah chat soon

Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salam All,

HOw r u ?? It's weekend .............. any exciting plans/For us we will be visiting in laws tomorrow as they are going to India next week and it also means seeing DH nices and nephews Masha'Allah as they all will be there!!!!ME and DH are taking things very slowly at the moment infact DH is taking things very seriously and now started saying that everything is his fault!!!!!it never gets easy does it.............

Ren, after reading your post yesterday.i am thinking of doing istikhara now.I read the dua and its meaning today....beautiful meanings and now wondering if i can say dua all the time.........Insha'Allah u will ahve the success with IVF and don't let urself down with what other people are saying.They haven't been in your place and can't think like you.Infact I don't say anything to anyone.All my treatments I haven't told anyone apart from u all on FF's and my DH!!!!!!I find it esay to deal with it this way.

GOdswill,Insha'Allah Allah will show his mercy on you and maybe this is ur turn!!!!!!!!I am keeping my u in my prayers and thougts!!!

FAzee, hope u r feeling ok and treatment is going well.Thanks for te recipies.It sounds delicious!!!!!!!!

Iman, KP, Maarias,Shino,Barbie,hope u all are well.

Love,

Soni


----------



## soni

Salam ALL,

Hope u all had a very nice weekend!!!!!!!!!

Where r u all today?

Love,

Soni


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## soni

Salam Godswill,

As u said everything hapens for a reason!!!!!!!!!Insha'Allah it will be a plain sail for u but i know that this waiting game is horrendous!!!!!!

And I think its Eid on 10/12/08 probably maybe not depends on moon sighting.............thought i just mention it  

For me AF arrived over weekend to gie me official closure to all of this..........now applying for jobs and hoping for the best  

Hope u all are fine...........me thinking about u all!!!!

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Salams 

Ren, yes i just notices our appointment are a day apart....excellent. Yes indeed. Allah knew how scared i was going on my own,i will take this as a sign. Yes hubby cannow come and i can now be there fo rmy sis inlaw inshAllah   OR may be Allah will bless us with a child and i wont need to go for lap ...Allah hu Alim  

I ma glad ur sis's scan went well hun   and am sorry that u too are feeling down. I guess AF brings out these vibes in us hai.....inshAllah we will be rewraded.   

Take care hun

xxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam to you all,
I have just joined this sight and tryingto find my way around when I came across this post, I am really encouraged by some of the good stories I hear and pray inshallah that this is going to work for me.  I am still not sure how this site works but have used it to get some insight in to choosing a new clinic and have found it very useful.  I'm not sure what I meant to post on these, sorry if I have got it wrong.  Its good to know that I am not alone in trying to get through this.

Thank you


----------



## soni

Salam ALL,

Welcome Shahshah and Good luck on ur journey!!!!!!!!!!  

Ren, me so sad to hear that AF arrived.................just wondering can't it stay away from all of us for atleast 9 months.Oh sorry if I have made you sad but thats how I feel at the moment!!!!!!!!So the waititng game continues along with utter desperation especially from my DH.I am just just praying for him thesed ays so ALLAh can give him sabr to deal with it all.

On the other hand I have got another job interview!!!!!DH is not very pleased but not stopping me either....he has said that he will pray that I won't get a job so we can try again...........I just don't know anymore!!!!!!!

Godswill, hope u r ok hun and did u get ur jobsorry I may have missed something as can't concentrate much these days but hoping and praying for u all.

Iman,KP,Maarias,shino,snow,bagonerves and rest of the gang...........   to you all

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Hey Ladies

Shahshah...  we look forward to having a good ol   with you. Like Ren said u have come to the right place....we have a lovely bunch of ladies here...we are all at different stages in ttc.  Its a nice support group.    

Ren...hope ur feeling better today hun....had a good night sleep inshAllah.

Soni hun....may Allah grant ur dh and u sabr...Ameen...it saddens me to hear of ur pains....   
We are all on or about to start AF....and i guess our hormones have got the best of us. I am about to meet a friend who is 8 months pregnant mashAllah...hard that it is...but her dh is gone abroad to visit family, she has no family here. She only told me when she was 5 months pregnant, as she said she had to wait for her downs test to come back. Which she thinks is a controversial topic. But in my eyes if thats what He ordains who are we to question it. May be its easier said then done...Allah knows best.

Soni u have every right to feel teh way u do...it will take time  but inshAllah u will get ur answers soon. Did u do istikhara?

I didnt get the job...Allhumdulilah i wasnt to sure about it any way....bigger and better as they say!


----------



## soni

Godswill,

I didn't do istikhara,AF arrived in time plus me in two minds!!!!!!! so help me out............shall I do istikhara for my job or my next attempt.Job seems to be the answer at the moment although I am finding it really hard to study for it........

Also I need some ideas about holidays over xmas/new year.Can u all recommend any place which is nice and relaxing

This conception business has taken over me completely...........just can't get rid of the negativity and anxiety even for one minute plus the fact if I am naking the right decision about going back to work as DH is not very keen on the topic but I just don't want to miss any oppurtunity to get some life back!!!!!!!!I am feeling exhausted after this attempt physically and emotionally!!!!!Me and my pregnant SIL went to southall over weekend and Masha'Allah she walked all the way while I had to stop as was feeling so tired plus migraine due to AF!!!!!this ifertility really sucks

Sorry for this ramble............I just don't know what to do any more!!!!!!!

A very distressed, 

SONI


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam

My dear sister,

U ramble as much as you want....

In regards to istikhara...read the below
Assalamu alaikum,

When one is not clear about the result of the istikhara, the fuqaha mention that it is recommend to repeat it, upto 7 times if necessary (usually done on separate occasions). [cf: Radd al-Muhtar]

It is not necessary that you get a dream or even a "feeling." Rather, the istikhara is a prayer that Allah guide you towards that which is best (khayr) for you. If you do the prayer of guidance (istikhara) with the proper manners, the most important of which is to truly consign the matter to Allah and suspend your own inclinations, then Allah will make events unfold in the direction that is the best for your worldly and next-worldly affairs.

In general, when it is not possible to perform the istikhara prayer itself (such as when one is out on the road, or in one's menstrual period), it is recommended to simply read the dua itself. [Radd al-Muhtar]

The istikhara prayer may be made for a specific matter or be made for a general seeking of all that is best. Some scholars, including Imam Abd al-Wahhab al-Sha`rani and Ibn `Arafah before him saw this kind of istikhara prayer as being superior. Others, including Shaykh Ibn al-Arabi, recommended performing a general istikhara prayer for all that is good every day, ideally at the time of the Duha prayer (after sunrise).

Imam al-Nawawi mentioned that before the istikhara prayer, one should seek advice (istishara) from those whose knowledge, wisdom, and concern one is confident. Ibn Hajar al-Haytami and others mentioned that one of the benefits of this is to further distance oneself from the desires of one's own egotistic inclinations.

It is recommended to open the dua of istikhara [below], with praise of Allah and sending blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace), and to close it in this manner, too.

Like other duas, it is recommended that one face the qibla.

It is disliked to 'hasten' in seeking the answer to one's istikhara, like other duas, because the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, "Your prayers are answered, unless you hasten, saying, 'I prayed, but no answer came.'"

One should be pleased with what Allah chooses for one, and not seek to follow one's whims after the answer to one's supplication becomes clear.

There is a pious lady in our community who has offered to pray istikhara for me to help me make a decision for marriage.... [ .... ] my question to you is if you know if this idea of relying on someone else's istikhara is a good idea and compatible with the teachings of Islam on how to make dua and decisions. should I follow her advice (according to her dreams and feelings) to me on this issue or not?

This is one means you can take: to seek the istikhara of a pious person. The permissibility of this was mentioned explicitly by the Malikis and Shafi`is. The Hanafis do not appear to have discussed this issue [al-Mawsu`a al-Fiqhhiyya, Kuwait], but there is nothing in it that would indicate its impermissibility. Rather, it is merely the taking of a means, which is permitted as long as one knows that the one who gives and takes, benefits and harms is Allah alone.

In such cases, though, one should not leave doing the istikhara oneself...

Salat al-Istikhara

CONCERNING THE RITUAL PRAYER FOR GUIDANCE IN CHOOSING THE BEST OPTION [SALAT AL-ISTIKHARA], AND THE PRAYER OF SUPPLICATION [DU'A'] APPROPRIATE TO IT.

According to a traditional report transmitted on the authority of Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir, it was Jabir ibn 'Abdi'llah (may Allah be well pleased with him and with his father) who said:

"Allah's Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to teach us how to seek guidance in choosing the best option available in a practical enterprise [al-istikhara fi 'l-amr], just as he would sometimes teach us a Chapter [Sura] from the Qur'an. :

"'If one of you is concerned about some practical undertaking, or about making plans for a journey, he should perform two cycles of ritual prayer [rak'atain], not as an obligatory observance [farida], but voluntarily. Then he should say:

'"O Allah, I ask You to show me what is best, through Your knowledge, and I ask You to empower me, through Your power, and I beg You to grant me Your tremendous favor, for You have power, while I am without power, and You have knowledge, while I am without knowledge, and You are the One who knows all things invisible.

Allahumma inni astakhiru-ka bi-'ilmi-ka wa astaqdiru-ka bi-qudrati-ka wa as'alu-ka min fadli-ka 'l-'azim fa-inna-ka taqdiru wa la aqdiru wa ta'lamu wa la a'lamu wa Anta 'Allamu 'l-ghuyub :

O Allah, if You know that this undertaking is in the best interests of my religion, my life in this world, and my life in the Hereafter, and can yield successful results in both the short term and the long term, then make it possible for me and make it easy for me, and then bless me in it.

Allahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna hadha 'l-amra khairun li fi dini wa dunyaya wa akhirati wa 'aqibati amri wa 'ajili-hi wa ajili-h :fa-'qdir-hu li wa yassir-hu li thumma barik li fi-h :

If not, then turn it away from me, and make it easy for me to do well, wherever I may happen to be, and make me content with Your verdict, O Most Merciful of the merciful.'"

wa illa fa-'srif-hu 'an-ni wa yassir liya 'l-khaira haithu kana ma kuntu wa raddi-ni bi-qada'i-ka ya Arhama 'r-rahimin :

I would definitly do istikhara in regards to both, another attempt and job!

In regards to Holiday...ummmm

Turkey..will be cold
Spain...(Andalucia...Granada and Cordoba...cold too)
Egypt...hot
Morrocco...Hot
Safari.....(i would love to do this...lol lol)
Australia?
Indonesia?

These are some of the places i have been too and some of th eplaces i want to go inshAllah. I would say Malaysia but u have been there!!

Hope that helps hun.

LOve and duas


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## soni

Godswill,JazakAlah sister for ur efforts!!!!!!!!!Thanks for taking time out for me and sending me this useful information........I will do istikhara soon Insha'ALLah!!!!!

Thanks for holidays suggestions too.....I will try and book some soon.

Love to all of u,

Soni


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## Godswill

Soni, barakAllah hu feek hun.....i pray its given u some sort of clarification and help....sorry its not great info...hey dnt thank me for taking out time to TRY and help u. Any time hun....seriously we are all here for you   

Boy u can tell its half term.....kids galore in town centre mashAllah. No escaping hai!!!

Love and duas


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam w'r'w'b  

yes hun, i know hun ur not jealous of ur dh...lol lol 

Its sooo easy to say...yes we should be greatful for what we have...but human nature to feel all the things we feel. Its funny..i always get dwn at AF tiem and say th emost silliest things. And soon as af has gone...i look back and think sunhanAllah how could i think such a thing.....i guess we all go through it. Increase and decrease of iman...thats y its soo important to have friends like u guys who can kick u back into gear...so jzk to u all   

Ahh ur soo sweet...jzk for u   thoughts...but its soo true life seems to be based around ttc. To be honest dh goes every year to see his nani, father, khalas and cousins...we call his father here too. Its important! So i suggested that we might as well see a doc there too. But to be honest i was saying to him...i think its best u go this year and forget about seeing a doc...but he insisted, he said there is no harm. At least we will get seen as an individual rather than just a number...money talks and **** walk as they say...so its something we both want.

U not working today


----------



## soni

Salam Godswill and Ren

How r u both today??

Me ok too!!!!!!!Just trying to study unsuccessfully..................

Godswill, great to know that u  rgoing to Pakistan and Karachi.My family lives in Karachi.Its always fun to go back and see everyone especially I enjoy food over there.I was also looking into going back and spending some time with them but now thinking to wait a bit so I feel normal within myself.Just don't want them to see me in this state.My DH is from India so we have a political rivalry between us  

Ren, not long for you now as well.I am praying that all goes well for you in ur apptts and whatever u decide.I still find it hard to believe that we are not meant to have any children!!!!!!but ALLAH knows the best.How is ur day so far

Love and duas for the rest of the gang.

Soni


----------



## soni

Godswill,

I am sorry to hear that AF arrived!!!!!!!!!!Take it easy and try again...............thats what we are going to do this month!!!!Can't give up can I??  

Enjoy ur time with other ladies.Its nice to know other people who are in same situation!!!!!!!I hope it all goes well with u tonight.

Ren, where are you today?

Oh we booked a holiday yesterday.so we are off to Las vegas over xmas.We are excited about it.........although i did wonder what are we going to do over there but DH answered there are lots of activities and shows apart from gambling so keeping positive.Just getting away from London is a very refreshing thought at the moment.

Soni


----------



## Godswill

wa'salam ladies....  

Soni...glad u arent giving up...and will give it another go inshAllah. Also wow ....Las Vegas...sounds fun mashAllah. A well deserved break....like Ren said do try to keep this ttc at the back of ur mind and enjoy....oh and spend loads....lol lol lol always help for a short while!  

Ren...yay.....no work today     i do not like this orange stuff....its taking too much to get used to...lol lol

So what are ur plans this evening?


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## Godswill

Wa'salam

Ummm cancelled todays meet, af is causing me some pain and also dont feel like being sociable if that makes sense. Just want hot water bottle and lounge on my sofa in my gym jams...!!! Its a shame as i was looking forward to meeting them.Khair

Food....just making kichree with chicken curry...nothing great....although dont feel like cooking!!!   

Yuck icing...u ate all the icing...yuck!! My friend has brought some banana chesse cake...yum yum...u want some   lol

Sigh..........


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## Godswill

Ren  

lol ur soo funny.   hehehhe..........

i will deff speak to the docs when i get an appointment....untill then i shall wait....wait oh and wait.

ok hun i am off home....

speak later inshAllah

have a lovely eveing...oh and leave the eclair alone....let ur poor dh enjoy.


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## ShahShah

Salam Soni, Ren and Godswill

Thank you for your messages, where do you find the time to go on here    Sorry Ren but am a Londoner from south london.  I have found this site so useful, only wish I had come across it earlier, have been TTC now for 2 years.  Am planning on moving to ARGC having read all the posts on this site as couldn't decide on whether to go abroad for treatment,and dont think I can go through anymore  especially when everyone else is having babies around me!  I wish you all lots of luck and inshallah your prayers will be answered  
love shahshah


----------



## soni

Salam Ren , Godswill and Shahshah,

Masha'Allah Ren and Godswill, u guys can talk about anything in this world.Ren hope u r enjoying ur night off and that eclair is still in the fridge!!!!!!!!!!  

Godswill,I hope AF is not troubling you much!!!!!!!!!!!It is such a downer to face it every month............Yalking about clomid, discuss it with ur doc when u go to Pakistan and it is very cheap over there plus u can buy it over the counter.I have tried it on suggestion of my gynaec in Karachi but no luck!!!!!!!

I went to the gym for the first time and the worst bit........i have gained 4 kg over 3 weeks.......Oh I so hate steoids so all my energy is going to loose weight now.Thank God I don't have a sweet tooth otherwise..........I just don't want to think about the otherwise!!!!!  

Shahshah, I am a south londoner too!!!!!!!!and believe me u will get addicted to this website and start posting at odd times!!!!!  Just take  aday at a time on treatment front and do what u think is best for u.Iam at ARGC,just moved there so let me knoe if I can help u in any way  

Love,

Soni


----------



## soni

Salam Godswill,

Glad to know u r feeling better today...............I am feeling very tired todau,maybe the after effects of going to the gym !!!!!!!!!I don't like the AF time of the month.My DH asked me this AM when we can try again(naturALLY........SORRY tmi)  He has lost it completely.

Ren, u must be sleeping now but we are thinking about u!!!!!!

Jummah Mubarak ALL.

Love,

Soni


----------



## soni

Haven't started to study properly........................just don;t feel like it.Whenever I try to study i feel something isn't right and i didn't want a career at all but can't ttc as well so going back to books now!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Godswill

U remind me of the battle i have in my head. I odnt want a career, just want  to have a baby and sit at home and be a mum....but like u i cant conceive.    

I think the thing taht gets to me is not knowing....... sigh sigh!!  

He is the bets of planners!!


----------



## Godswill

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen  

My stomache is bloated  ...i feel like i have a baby in it....(I WISH) LOL LOL  


So ur awake.....in the land of of the normal ppl....   its funny i have this picture of u in my head, short and thin and cute ....i wonder if i am right?? ummmm i would love to put a fac eto all this...  

Soni...i hope to mee tu at our next memt up inshAllah...we shall get snowy to sort it out inshAllah  she is a good organiser mashAllah ...
Ren is right...u never know i was just reading about a lady who had unexplained fertility, clomid, iui, ivf and all failed. Then mashAllah naturally she conceived so its definity when Allah wills. Hun hold stron and it will happen for us ALL inshAllah.

Snow we do miss u ......hurry up back from ur hol and share ur lovery stories with us all!!

So what are the plans for the weekend ladies?


----------



## Godswill

Reeeeeeennnnn  

Yes i do love using that pic...its funny....reminds me of south park character.... lol lol lol even though i never quite liked that programme!!!  

Yes i guess i will wait, either u come dwn our end or if i ever coem dwn Manchester i must pop in to see u inshAllah  

Plans for weekend...nothing much. Nex weekend is busy. I have 2 mehndis to go to...one my sis and the other a very dear friend, she is Bengali too. The sad thing is they are both the same night. So i will have to be at both somehow!!    Then wedding Sunday...so that will be good. Cant wait. This wedding will be good as its segregated and gives us hijabis chance to dress up....lol lol lol  #

Love to all


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## Godswill

Heheheheh falmingo...   im sure u looked loverly!

I am wearing a red number on the wedding inshAllah. Oh and not sure about mehndis....ummmmmmmmmmmm i will need to see what there is inshAllah. Oh yes Wedding and mehndi segreagted and women only...so i will be shaking   lol lol .....well trying to  

I havent been to one of those in ages, it will be nice to dress up for once!

Ok must go..have a lovely weeknd and speak soon.

Love to all the others


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## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dear sisters...

I pray everyone is well inshAllah.....

A very dear friend sent me an email that really made me think and just quite frankly frightened me...may He protect us all....Ameen

Shaikh Usman Efendi (A sheikh in Turkey) said that for men there may be a variety of obstacles in their path to becoming awliyaa Allah (intimate friends of Allah) such as lust for women, dishonest business transactions, laziness in performance of salaah in congregation etc etc, but for the women there is only one major obstacle and that is the tongue. i bring to your attention two hadith the first that; the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allaah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1052) and the second hadith Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah said: “I attended Eid prayers with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He started with the prayer before the khutbah, with no adhaan or iqaamah. Then he stood up, leaning on Bilaal, speaking of fear of Allaah (taqwa) and urging us to obey Him. He preached to the people and reminded them. Then he went over to the women and preached to them and reminded them. Then he said, ‘Give in charity, for you are the majority of the fuel of Hell. A woman with dark cheeks stood up in the midst of the women and said, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allaah?’ He said, ‘Because you complain too much and are ungrateful to your husbands.’ Then they started to give their jewellery in charity, throwing their earrings and rings into Bilaal’s cloak.”  

in both cases it is nothing but the action of the tongue that has been the downfall for women, but the Shaikh gave practical advice in overcoming this.  he said men and women have a daily quota of words they need to get out of their system.  for men that quota is a lot less and easily expired by the fact that he goes out and his work grants him much interaction.  women on the other hand have a much higher quota, and their need is met with more difficulty as they are often left at home either alone or to attend to little children, so when their husbands come home or when they have the opportunity to speak to other women, this 'need' to use up the quota of words bottled up inside them causes their tongues to go off in all directions!  in remedy of this he gave example of two women he came to know of who were famed in their area for their piety, he said upon learning more about them he found out that they would spend most of their day reading the Holy Quran, the Blessed Hadith or the works of guided 'Ulema out loud, and other than that they would speak very little, so their 'quota' of words would get used up.  if you try you will find it to be true insha'Allah.  one hour of reading Quran out loud every morning atleast puts you in good stead for little talk in the day becasue your vocal chords get tired!

I love u all for the sake of Allah and want what i would want for my self....perhaps for you there was not much in whatwas said, but for me to be given something as practical as this was very beneficial and so i sought to spread the benefit insha'Allah.  May Allah SWT protect us all from our greatest enemy which lies not in any other person or any other place but rather lies firmly within our own selves. ameen

In much need of ur duas..

Godswill

xxx


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Hope u all had a very nice weekend!!!!!

We had a very emotional and tiring weekend.........DH is finding really hard to deal with all of it and wants us to try again but I have somehow managed to atleast going for the job interview to see what happens!!!!!I am finding it really hard to let him down but I just can't deal withh all of it too soon!!!!!I want to have kids more than anything in my life but just can't find the way to make it happen.
Godswill ur post is now making me think of my attitude towards DH!!!!!  

I have got 2 job interviews now and also doing istikhara so Allah will help me..........

Hope u both are doing great and had lots of fun..................my posts are just sooooooo depressing these days but I just can't express myself anywhere except here.Hope u all understand.

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum w'r'w'b dearest sisters....  

Ren...gosh, u were up late. I was in the land of nod mashAllah. Hope u are feeling better inshAllah  

Dearest Soni, off course we understand. Thats what we are here for...to try and help or just listen hun   I am soo sorry u guys are going through this. We all know how u feel as we are all in the same one    but just at different stages mashAllah. I didnt mean to make u upset with my post. Its was a reminder, i know i am guilty of doing it. My dh has soooo many good qualities in him and sometimes i will pick one and just go on about it....astgfrullah   may be what ur husband is saying has khair init. May be give it anbother try and inshAllah u guys will be successful inshAllah. I know what ur going through too. Its u who is poked and pumped with drugs and its much tougher on u...cant u go on ur hol and then come back and see how u guys feel after a break for all of it??....i pray Allah gives u guidance ont the matter soon. 

Its like i am sayign to dh u go Pakistan and i will stay here. He wants to book tickets....there is just soo much going on in my head. I want him to go to see his family. But he also wants me to come to get second opionion....im thinking is it worth it...it will just be a wild goose chase. I dont know .....i cant quit explain it...!!!

We are a right bunch of hormonal nightmares...lol lol lol  

Reeeennnn..u poor thing, i know how u feet...however im near to the end soon inshAllah  

love and duas


----------



## soni

Ren, Awwwwwwww sister,hope u r feeling ok!!!!!I think u should take a day off,lie in and hot water bottle would be a perfect combination.......

Godswill, couldn't stop smiling about the hormonal bunch bit........sister u r very right atleast in my case  I think u should go to Pakistan.It will guve u distraction and take ur mind off things as well.I always find it hard to leave everything behind and go over there but once there I feel happy and relaxed and if u will go there with ur DH it will make ur relationship strong!!!!!

I haven't felt bad about ur post................u r ight about the bit where u have said that I feel being poked and prodded and pumped with drugs........I feel exhausted and tired all the time and on top of it the negativity ....i think i am pretty scared about all of it but i don't want our relation to suffer in all of it.We will try again for sure it's just a matter of doing it on a right time!!!!!!

where are Iman,KP,Maarias and others i wonder!!!!!!!!

Sxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam to you all

As you can see I can never get on here, I dont have the luxury of being able to access this site at work however my office is far too open plan for my liking.  Hope you are all well, hope you are feeling better Ren .  

Soni - your at ARGC - yes will have to ask you some questions on that later, that is my first choice at the moment as have had enough of the last place i was at 
Godswill - hope you are well and will chat to you all soon as have got to go and sort out my DH!  x


----------



## FazWorld

ASA everyone... how are you all...missed you all whilst I was away.. 

I was just reading the back posts since last week.. Welcome ShahShah. But where is everyone else?

Alhumdolillah I had a great time with kids. Monday took them to library and did a library competition with them. Went out to see my sis in afternoon. Tuesday had pill scan at Lister, so we carried on going to see my mum and went to Nandos... on Wednesday we went to Bluewater, on Thursday, went down to my mums again and stayed until Saturday aftrenoon - Took my kids and some cousins to watch a 3D movie on Saturday morning.. only costs £1 for the ticket during junior time (and I take my own popcorn and dish out to the kids in sweets bags). My kids brought one of their little cousins back to stay with them the night and my sister then picked her up on Sunday.

I feel really bad about something. I went to see my Lister friend, and my mum came to pick me up with my sister.. she don't know I am trying again. Later at home, she said seeing my friend reminded her of something she wanted to say to me.. that I should try and rectify the one thing missing in my life (a baby boy) and that next time I try, I shouldn't bother with just one embie.. I should have 4-5 put back and not worry about multiple births! I don't generally see eye-to-eye with my mum on most things anyway, so I said I wasn't trying anyway and that she shouldn't put interfere and always put her 2pence worth into everything all the time...  She was not impressed..   my younger sister who is not married yet sided with me and told my mum to back-off as IVF was a very diff thing to do anyway and that mum should not make me feel bad about things 'missing' - tho I do feel like that.

I have not told ANYONE what I am doing. Except obv my Lister friend who is helping me and on here! I just can't hack them knowing and wondering and asking...

A word of advice for those putting things on hold hoping to get BFP. Sisters - I implore you get on with your life. Insha Allah may BFP happen quickly for everyone..   however, if you get a new job, or start your studies etc.. they can always be got rid off/stopped. But if you stop everything and simply wait.. what if many years go by b4 it actually happens? I felt like that and nearly didn't take up a job. I decided to take the job and had been there 5 years by the time it actually happened..  Another friend was going to study a 3 year part-time MBA with her DH. BUt she put it off as they were ttc. Her DH finished his course and she was still waiting and did so for many years still. Yes with a course, the fees are forfiet, but generally for babies, they will extend it to the next year if required.. Each day blends into the next, and b4 you even know it YEARS have gone by.

Been sniffing (down regulating since last Wednesday. Insha Allah will start the injections from tomorrow. 1st monitoring scan next Monday. 

Anyway, enuf from Old Mother Hubbard...

Fazworld


----------



## KittenPaws

Salam to all my sisters

Im sorry i went awol for a while, i have 1 and half weeks left at work and it is MANIC! Mum arrives in 3 and half weeks InshAllah and got so much to organise. 

Alhamdulillah me and baby are doing well. Please sisters remember us in your duas. 

Hope everyone is doing okay. I havent got time for personals but wanted to echo something faz said. Agreed- dont put life on hold. Allah knows best what is planned for us all. I put study on hold so many times but finally finished last yr. I was set to start my post grad this yr september but Allah had other plans for us. Sisters make dua and leave the rest to Allah. 

Lots of love to everyone
KP xoxox

PS . Is snowbelle back yet??


----------



## FazWorld

Asa all,



r4k said:


> ... just wanted to ask a question if you dont mind, a friend of mine MIL told her that after XXXXX if she's not had a bath and is impure she cannot touch food and serve people food as she is impure. ..


Ren that is a load of rubbish. I have heard that saying before, but it is just old wives tales. You are absolutely right that you can not pray until you have done gusl, and if not able to do a proper gusl due to lack of water, then tayammum is OK.. but touching food etc.. if you can fast whilst junub, then what is touching/ serving food in comparison? What is recommended is to have a gusl asap cos not good to be in that state for too long. During the Winter, with the salat times so close together, one can't really stay in that state for very long anyway without running the risk of missing or delaying a salat.

*QUOTE* 
O you who believe! Approach not AsSalat (the prayer) when you are in a drunken state until you know (the meaning) of what you utter, nor when you are in a state of janaba, (i.e. in a state of sexual impurity and have not yet taken a bath) except when travelling on the road (without enough water, or just passing through a mosque), till you wash your whole body. And if you are ill, or on a journey, or one of you comes after answering the call of nature, or you have been in contact with women (by sexual relations) and you find no water, perform Tayammum with clean earth and rub therewith your faces and hands (Tayammum). Truly, Allah is Ever OftPardoning, OftForgiving. ( An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #43)*
UNQUOTE*

Next time anyone quotes something like that, ask them for evidence ie quote from Quran/Hadith.. bet you they will never be able to give it to you! 

Fazworld


----------



## Iman

wasalaams sisters

I am here! just been quiet as busy and not got much to say on the TTC front 

Godswill this is great news your appt has been moved forward! and after your du'a too! masha'llah subhanallah. i hope you get some answers to your questions insha'allah. I know what its like to feel like you have more medical knowledge of a condition than your doctor!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

R4k loving the new profile picture! She looks like my mum and dad's cat who is an equal beast and is frequently called one! lol

Faz  nice to hear from you and read about your day.

KP also nice to hear from you 

Soni - hang in there sweetie thinking of you

Du'a to all...    

When is snowie back??

Welcome as well to Shahshah! hope you enjoy your chats here insha'allah. 

Shino - how are you sis

 

Anyway as I said no news from me...I have spag bol on the stove cooking away and DH is at the gym. This is his first week off work since he quit ( last day was last friday) they gave him a good send-off masha'allah and they all know the reasons why he left - I think his manager's life is not going to be so easy now! oh well qadr anyway ....DH is good, relaxing, trying to concentrate on getting rid of Psoriasis or at least making it better ( has severe psoriasis on about 90% of body  ) and I think the end of work for a bit will do him good insha'allah. He can't stay out of work for too long though as our finances wont let it! lol...but he has applied for some jobs so we will see what happens insha'allah.

Still on track for February insha'allah for contacting adoption agency. I have the minefield that is Christmas with my family to navigate in the meantime ( great!) but once we are past that I feel that 2009 is gonna be a good year for us INSHA'ALLAH.

much love to all

xxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam sisters

Hope you are all well and thanks Iman.

Godswill - sorry to be so naive   but what op are you waiting for??  I recently had my lap, hys, dye DC etc... which they practically forced me to do at the hospital   as I knew they would find nothing and they never!  I was so angry and upset after it as was in so much pain but they say everyone reacts differently.  Have yet to have my follow up consultation for it but am prepared to have a very long moan at my consultant .

Ive now had everything done apart from immune testing and they have found nothing at all wrong with me so they cant explain why my last 2 treatments have not worked 

Ren, soni and everyone else hope you are all well 

love ShahShah x


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Godswill, I am so so so happy for u and now praying that everything goes smoothly for you and then u can enjoy vacations afterwards!!!!!!!!!I have all kind of tsets and op and Alhumdullilah haven't suffered much but everyone is different and if u r in pain do let them know and take pain medicines.............just don't suffer!!!!!!!

Ren, how r u?any news on IVF frontHope u have recovered from bad AF and now planning for this month  .

Shahshah , good to hear from you!!!!!!!I am finding that this immune business is a mind field and coming to terms with the fact that it's all down to our luck and fate at the end of it and only Allah can change it.We can only TRY!!

Iman, hope u r ok sister, not long for xmas and end of the year....then u will be on ur way Insha'Allah!!!!!  

KP, hope u r well too.......  

Fazee, thanks for ur kind words........  for u!!!!!

I think snow is back next week!!!!!!so not long now but having a very nice time Masha'Allah!!!!!!

love,

Sxx


----------



## soni

Me here!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## soni

Salam Ren and Godswill,

so its just us hanging around   

Godswill, Good to know that u have decided to go to Pakistan.....I find it sooooo easy over there to get an appointment and discuss with as many doctors as u like (off course money dependent)  Hope ur surgery will go smoothly and then nice trip to Pakistan and few answers will definetly bring some nice change.

Ren, its not very exciting on TV in AM...............we are off on xmas eve and apparently it's 25 to 28 celcius over there..........I haven't started thinking about it yet...these interviews are keeping me occupied at the moment  ........ still not sure if I am doing the right thing but seems right at the mo.

Rest is cooooooooool.........speak soon!!!!!!!

Sxxxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Just a quick note to say hello - wow there are tons of pages to catch up on!!! 

Inshallah will write a longer post a little later!!

love to everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

r4k said:


> Faz- Oooh im using ur recipe for lamb chops inshalah later tonight!


ASA

Ren, uh-oh - hope the recipe came out OK...

Day 5 of stimming yesterday. Got my Day 5 scan today to see how many follies available.

My brain has gone to total mush recently. I can't remember stuff. I go into a room, and can't remember why I went there.. or try and do something and forget what it was...  driving me (and prob DH) barmy!!!

Please pray dor me that all goes well with my tx.  

Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b my dear sisters   

Hope u all have had a lovely weekend ...mine was lovely. I had to mehndis to go to Saturday and wedding yesterday. MashAllah went well  

Snow....ur back mashAllah. Hope u have have fab holiday and managed to relax and enjoy the sights inshAllah. We want a loooonnnnggg post about ur hols  

soni....hope u are well hun, hope weekend was better then all the others u have had  

Faz...sorry to hear u are having all these symptoms...but inshAllah its worth it if it helps u getting pregnant. Love and duas  

Ren...u up yet hun    

SisC, Iman, Shino, Shahshah, KP and anyone i have missed hope u are all well,


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams
Yay we are back! Alhumdulilah its great to see my mum etc, but being welcomed by the never ending rain is something else! Malaysia was really great, an absolute must to visit. DH is pretty much ready to move to KL tomorrow if he had his way.

Ren - how did you DH's results go on tamoxifen? Did you talk to your doctor re clots

SisterC - Hope you are ok

Soni - Hows things?

KP - must be time for your mat leave soon?

Iman - hows the plans for your new business going?

Godswill, Shino and anyone else I've forgotten  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

r4k said:


> Faz-mmmmmmmmmmmmm! Them lamb chops came out so juicy and tasty! Iv put ur recipe in my recipe book now!  Inshalah ur treatment will go well and   that you have plenty of follies on ur scan!


ASA,

Ren - phew - I am so glad they came out OK. I was a bit worried for a min! 

Welcome back Snowbelle, glad u had a good time. Hi to everyone else.

News from me.. 5 day scan yesterday showed fairly bad news so far.. I have 1 large follie on left Ovary and 5 teenyweenies on the right. Sounds fairly good, but the large one looks like it suppressing the others and so will end up with only one and may have to abandon the cycle.  I have another scan booked for tomorrow IA, and will find out if the others are waking up, or if the big one has stopped everything for this cycle. Not worth proceeding with only one egg. I have been buying the drugs per days required as using Menopur for first time and not very confident about the response. Usually used GonalF and normally produced average 10 eggs per EC.

I kept myself really strong during the scan, then when I returned to work and was praying Zhuhr, I allowed myself the luxury of tears and prayed to Allah to help me...  Please continue to remember me in your duas during this stressful time.

JZK
Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

wa'salam all...

ren & soni jzk for ur sweet messages,means a lot  

just a quick one,by the grace of Allah they didnt find anything,all ok.follow up appointment in 3 months...IA

feeling a lil sore.....i was in the hospital longer than expected as i was sick and couldnt go to the toilet..but Allhumdulila better now.

Faz IA todays scan brings good news  

love and duas to all

xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
Inshallah everyone is hanging in there.

Soni - sorry I couldn't  do coffee today, just couldn't manage anything. I fell asleep at 7:30 last night!!!

Godswill - really pleased to hear that you got your lap and dye done, when will you get the results?

Fazworld - praying inshallah that your scan comes up with good things

I spent most of yesterday looking for my memory cards (I had lost 3!!!) and now I've found 2 but still can't find one   but fortunately we got most of the photos printed off in Malaysia. Its taking ages to upload the photos to ** - boring!

Not much to report on the fet side of things, got to wait until my next cycle now to book in for the tube scan. Other than that I'm taking my high dose folic acid (i HATE it, TMI it turns me to mush)

much love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

Asa everyone

IA you are all well and buzzing  

My second scan showed that the 1st follie is still growing, so will prob be a bit too far gone to be used. Others are growing but at a slow rate. Have another scan tomorrow. If I have any less than 5 follies, will abort cycle and IA try again in New Year.. but that prob means Feb cos of Chrimbo hols means the unit will be closed at beginning of my January cycle... Gutted that I tried the Menopur rather than stick to what I knew worked, but at least I will never have the 'what-if' factor later in life..  

Ya Allah, help us all in this journey and make it easy for us. Give us Sabr to get through every test that you place upon us. Above all, guide us that we may stay strong in our faith whatever the outcome.  

Fazworld


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum girls,

How is everyone??

Godswill gald to hear the L & D went well alhamdulillah. I know this means things are unexplained for you which is a bit bewildering but alhamdulillah this means insha'allah it is only a matter of time before you get your BFP insha'allah! It is all up to Allah swt and his Qadr  

Faz, sorry to hear things have not been that promising so far for you with the follies...  stay positive and make your du'a. Insha'allah everything will turn out ok. Let us know how you get on insha'allah tomorrow with the scan  

Salaams and du'a to all the other girlies and in particular Shino and sister C who have not been online for a while I don't think!! ( not that I am one to talk, lol   ) 

Snow - saw your pics and looks like such a lovely time! Good to have you back alhamdulillah and hope you keep your post-holiday glow for as long as possible insha'allah!

Not much news from us ( as usual!lol) DH quit his job as you know and just approaching end of 2nd week off work. But today the phone rang and a recruitment consultant he saw a couple of weeks ago is lining him up for some contract work so insha'allah he will be working again soon. Financially we are ok at the moment and I think the 2 weeks off has done him the world of good as he was stressed out and it was affecting his Psoriasis and sleeping and stuff.  We are still thinking of doing our business but finding a property has been tough, one that fits our requirments  and they are not asking for an arm and leg in rent! The plan is still to move in January insha'allah  - either buy somewhere if the market looks ok and will allow us or rent again, but rent a house. THis way we can then call the adoption agency and demonstrate we have enough space for a child and then begin to get the ball rolling insha'allah. I still have some down days where I find thingsd very tough over what has happened to us TTC and where we have found ourselves - its just something you never imagine is it? But alhamdulillah those days are getting less. When I do have them its short-lived rant normally caused by someone's insensitive comment! most of our family still don't know, only the immediate family and getting MIL in particular to keep shctum has been hard as she is not renouned for her tact! she means well but is yet to realise there is a time and place to discuss this with me - and when we are visiting somone or at an event, and people are nearby is not it!  

Anyway better dash.

Love and du'a to all 

xx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA everyone

scan update
1 foll at 21mm (wow that must hurt!!!)
1 foll at 15mm 
2 folls at 14mm
2 folls at 13mm

1 possible newbie foll at 10mm

I had decided that with 5 or less I would abandon... I now have 5 good ones, one prob past sell-by date and one junior.. wot to do now?  

Any advice would be welcome. EC has been pencilled in for Tuesday should I wish to proceed...  

Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Fazworld,I would say go ahead with this cycle.It seems ur follies are catching up and u still have three solid days of meds if EC is on tues so there can be atleast 4/5 good follies by then.  

Ren and Godswill, hope u both are ok!!!!Ren it is hard counting days for it to happen but it will happen Insha'Allah!!!!!!!

Snowbelle, beautiful pics my friend.........u reminded us of our time there.Hope u r ok!!!

Iman,good to hear from you..........still praying for u.

Hope u all are planning a very nice weekend for urselves.

Sxx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA and JZK sisters,

spoke to DH and my embryologist friend who will be doing the ICSI.. and IA we are going for it. EC on Tuesday and prob ET on Friday. 

Sisters, please a big push for me in the duas..    

jzk
Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salam Godswill,

It's normal for the bleeding to go on for a while.I had period like bleeding for 5/6 days and then brown spotting continued through out the month.Clinic said that it is normal as long as I don't have clots or nasty discharge indicating infection.U must be having ur antibiotics but if in pain and continued bleeding more than usual do let ur hospital know.As far as continuing treatment goes,I don't know where u r at the mo but they say that if everything is cleared chances of conception is more in first 6-9 months as they clear the womb so environment is healthy.We had it afterwards miscarriage and then frozen cycle which resulted in BFP but not a successful pregnancy.............so continue try naturally in the mean time.  .Also try peppermint tea for shoulder pain which normally happens due to trapment of gas in abdomen and around shoulder blades!!!!

Ren,hope u r feeling better.Today I has my first m/c.so feeling down a bit but it's also DH's nieces first b'day so big party going on at my inlaws tonight.We have opted out of it as just can't face it especially today but went to see the LO yesterday and gave my prezzie and spent time with them.It was good to be around kids but made me think WHY ME??

Snow  

Sxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

Soni - so sorry to hear it was the anniversary of your m/c.   Inshallah things get easier for you guys    I wouldn't worry about the kids birthday party, what matters is you.

Fazie - I've got no knowledge re EC etc but I'd go with Soni and Ren, if you have chance then go for it inshallah! Praying really hard for you  

Ren - inshallah you will get through this time. I do understand what you mean, one of my close friends is pregnant at the moment with her 2nd. I do remember jokingly saying to her to wait until we'd had one before she had her next. But khair inshallah, sometimes I just can't be asked to think about the why. At the moment I really think sod it, let whatever has to happen happen and I'll do my own thing! 

Godswill - hope you feel better soon and your DH is taking care of you. 

Iman - glad to hear that you are doing well and that your DH is relaxing and not so stressed. 

much love and duas to everyone and   to everyone I have forgotten.

love

Snowbelle


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Have not been here in a while...

Godswill - I just had my lap and dye however I had bleeding for 1 day only and since have had my AF.  They never told me anything about the bleeding and I could start my next cycle straight away if I wanted to.  Have you asked why the bleeding is going on for so long?  Did they find anything and treat it, my experience has been that you need to keep asking or the Drs tell you nothing!

Salam Faz - I dont think we have spoken before - I would recommend you go ahead with the EC, in my first ICSI i only had 7 good eggs and 3 fertilised.  But i went ahead and they will flush for any they can get.  Prob your change in drugs, ive never been on Menopur only used Puregon and increased my dosage on 2nd cycle which gave me 12 gd quality eggs, with 10 fertilised.

Ren - Keep strong it happens to all of us but one day it will be you with that gd news inshallah.  

Soni - I hope things get better for you 

Ive now decided to have a FET as have 2 embies left and my as well give it a go, I have never been very positive about FET but having read the success stories me and DH have agreed that this is the first thing to do before we go with any other cycle.  Am praying that we may not need to again .

Love and duas to you all that i may have missed 
ShahShah xx


----------



## Iman

Dear sis Godswill Assalaamu alaikum

I just wanted to reply to something you said in your last message insha'allah to try and help you feel more positive insha'allah:

" If there was something that could be treatable and then we have soemthing to work on...but now, i feel...what if it never happens...theres nothing stopping us....everything is fine...so y isnt it happening...."

Sis I know you feel you must be in limbo and feel frustrated as you have not been given a reason why it isn't happening yet. I know you must feel that if they had found something then at least you would know why and then have that treated. But really be thankful sis ( i know you are) and be positive - if they had found something wrong, it would not necessarily been something that could be fixed. You may have found something - alhamduillah you didn't - that was untreatable, no help possible, permanent problem. And although you would have known at least why - that would have been awful. Although you have no answer and no problem and this is very frustrating I know - it means that Allah swt has not bestowed on you a health problem nor a problem that means you will never have children - it means that there is no reason why it can't happen naturally for you both one day insha'allah and surely it is only a a matter of time insha'allah. Allah swt is the Best of Planners and there is wisdom in everything He does.  

Don't think it will never happen - there is every reason to think it WILL happen insha'allah!!!     and what is best, is that it may just take you both completly by surprise insha'allah!! Be positive - expect the best from Allah swt. Every month that goes past without a BFP is a month nearer to your BFP! Another step along the road to the goal that is waiting at the end. The same goes for me and my DH - only we have had to take a de-tour to get to the same place, lol!!

I pray for you and all the sisters here - and one day you will be announcing your BFP and there will be tears of joy all around. Nothing would make me happier than to hear that you sisters here have got BFPs - I sincerly hope so. We must remain positive. Someday, somewhere we will find the reason behind all of this for all of us  - Allah swt knows best. And He hates it when we hurt but He does only what is best for us. Imagine when a mother takes away sweets or a toy from her child and he cries and cries and begs and begs and she hates to see him cry, it pulls at her heart, but she knows it is best for him. That is how Allah swt feels but x 1 million and more!! He hates to see us suffer but He knows it is best for us.  And we will be those mothers one day in that situation and insha'allah we remember how Allah swt feels and the blessings he has given us.

These words are for R4k as well and all the other girls when I know somedays it gets too much....I know, you feel mentally exhausted and theres a pain and longing in your heart, a feeling of emptiness that sends pangs to your chest and makes you ache.....and always theres a never-ending WHY ME? WHY ME? WHY ME?? But we have to keep strong for one another and for ourselves and for our husbands - they feel it too even if they dont speak about it as much as us girls. But Allah swt is the BEst of Planners - and His Qadr is such that NOTHING can stop it. Therefore if it is in your QADR to have a child then you will - and I really believe you all will insha'allah....its just a matter of time.  Sometimes I find it helps to focus on the things I can do at the moment that my friends with children can't - i.e go to the big new shopping centre like we did this afternoon, amongst all the crowds - and just carry a light handbag - not a heavy pushchair and bits and bobs. Browse in the shops without one eye always scanning for where the children have gone.  Stay round late at people's houses. Sleep late.  Have a long bath.  Have clothes that havent been ruined by baby sick even!! Simple things - and I count these as blessings that I have in the meantime until we get our child insha'allah - I know my friends with babies would love to do those simple things I do. Everyone wants what everyone else has - its a condition of the human character. But concentrating on what you have in the meantime really helps to get you through until you get to where you long to be insha'allah

I hope my words did not upset anyone, this is not my intention     I just felt theres some things that are good to remind each other of sometimes and its good for me to write these things as I remind myself too alhamdulillah

Got to keep the faith and hope!! Group hug!     lol....

We WILL get there!!

Love and du'a

xxxx


----------



## Iman

ah r4k, I did not mean to make you cry, sorry     Hope you are ok insha'allah

Love and du'a 

xx


----------



## thinendometrium

assalamu alaykum dear sisters

I had a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy 2 weeks ago and am recovering well alhamdulillah. my husband and I are due to begin our journey of assisted conception soon inshallah and I felt it may be helpful to join this forum, for moral support.

May Allah accept all our prayers and, in time, grant us the gift of motherhood, ameen.

Love and best wishes to all.

(I'm still pretty new to this and am not too sure how to use the more fancy bits and bobs yet!)


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Welcome thin endometrium(name and diagnosis in one!!!!!)  We are all here for u and do let us know more about you.We like being nosey especially me!!!!!!  

Iman,MAsha'Allah beautiful post.........it is indeed a good reminder of blessings we have!!!!!

Ren how r uhow was ur weekend?

Godswill, hope u r recovering well!!!!!!!  

Fazee, hope those follies are growing nicely!!!!!thinking of u

Snowbelle,  

Hope u all will be chatting here soon...........I don't like this gloomy weather and my job hunting is still on!!!!!!

Love, Sxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone  

A big welcome to thinendo (sorry the name was always going to get shortened ) as Ren has said it is always great to have more people in our little party. As I always say I wish we weren't here BUT I'd rather be here with everyone than alone in my corner of the world! 

I've just been shopping to a different supermarket, and I can confirm that I will not be going there again...there were too many babies! I thought my local one was bad but this one didn't have a single child out of pram in it   . I don't hate babies, its just I know that if I was on a diet or something I just wouldn't take to standing outside an ice cream shop watching everyone eat ice cream...if you follow!

Friday bought some news. DH had a hernia at birth and that was repaired. Recently he has been getting sometimes extreme pain in that area and everyone has assumed that it was a hernia, but our new GP insisted he go for an ultra sound and that has revealed a varicocele  which enlarged to small to medium   the radiologist said that it could be a cause for infertility. Mr Snow 1st SA was not great but his second was good, which has left us wondering that perhaps when it is enlarged (and he is in pain) he effectively produces less swimmers than when he feels fine which is when the second SA was done. All in all the whole thing has got me thinking about adoption again. Part of me is just so bored of the whole TTC thing. I stop thinking about it and then it is there again in the very forefront of brain. I guess it is the desire to get to the next phase. I hate being in limbo and when I think about the challenges that I have been faced with the theme does tend to be 'being in limbo'.

Inshallah sorry no personals today...its the snow show! 

lots of love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

Thank you Soni, Godswill and r4k for your greetings and your lovely welcome- it's really nice to find people who are going through the same thing we're going through.

More info? Well, as my name suggests, it all started out with us ttc about a year and a half ago but it wasn't working. My periods, although like clockwork, had become a lot scantier (sorry TMI) in the last two or three years, so initially it was thought that I've got a thin endometrium.  This was confirmed on random scanning, as well as follicular monitoring.  All my blood tests are normal and I ovulate 'beautifully' apparently! DH all normal.

When I had my HSG, I was told that my tubes weren't filling but that it could sometimes be because the muscles go into spasm.  So I was booked for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy and endometrial biopsy.  My endometrium looked entirely normal but thinner than it should be, they also found I've got endometriosis, and that both my tubes are blocked at one particular point very close to the uterus.
So we've been told that the way forward is IVF.  This will overcome the problem with the blocked tubes and hopefully thicken the endometrium.

So we're due to InshAllah start first cycle of IVF sometime in the beginning of the new year.

Other info? We've not told anyone. So I understand the lonely feeling that was described by one of the girls - it's hard not having anyone who understands what we're going through.

I'm also getting really anxious and nervous about the IVF. I'm reading things online about it.  I'm sure it's gonna be really hard, but Allah will be with us, just as he has been all along.

I read Iman's post from last night - you're so true.  There is SOOOOO much to be grateful for but it's so easy to completely forget it all when one becomes engulfed in this whirlwind world of ttc.  It is great to have people to remind you of that.

Well I've bored you enough with all the info about me.

Thanks once again for your welcome and I look forward to getting to know you girls better.

I'm so terrible with names, I've read the last few days worth of postings, but there's a girl due for egg collection tomorrow- I'm praying for you (Allah knows who I'm praying for even if I've forgotten the name!).  Inshallah they get a few eggs and Inshallah they fertilise and of course Inshallah you have a successful cycle, Ameen.

Take care,
Thinendometrium (plus lots more 'wrong'!)


----------



## thinendometrium

I just posted, but then saw a new post before mine that wasn't there before! Snowbell, thank you for your warm welcome.  I know exactly what you mean, it's not that I would have chosen to be where I am, but Allah is all wise and all knowing, and I'd rather be here with you guys than on my own going insane!

Oh a varicocoele - we used to know a couple who now have 3 children and they had once been told that they couldn't have children because the man has a varicocoele and so his sperm count is very low or they're not very strong.  Well, it took them about 18 months to get pregnant the first time, and they've got about a 3 year gap between each child, all conceived naturally!

So don't dispair!

Take care


----------



## thinendometrium

It's me again!

Snowbell, I just noticed your BMI thing! Wow, congratulations! What are you doing to lose weight? 

I'm currently on an extreme diet but I don't know how much longer I can survive! I'm trying to lose weight before our first IVF cycle. I started out with a BMI of 31.8 a few months ago, am now on a BMI of about 28.3 and am trying to get into the normal range in the next couple of months...............wishful thinking I think!


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

Sorry I have not been in touch. I have been so busy getting the country house in order. Alhamdililah it is. Insha Allah dh will come for the first time on Wednesday because we have to start ttc then. He has let a room of the house in the city so I don't know how we are going to manage ttc with someone else in the house. Insha Allah I will go to the city next weekend.

I thought I had a bfp but I got AF the same day. However, it only lasted for 2 days and normally it is 8 days so I tested again. I am a bit afraid - I'm still on the Clomid but not having any scans to check for PCOS.

Snowbelle I see you are back safe and sound. Insha Allah I will catch up on the 10 pages of posts that I missed.

It is really weird for me being back down the country again. I find myself slipping into the things I did before Isalm and the pain that I cut out for 13 years has been opened again.  I think it is because when I left here, I left everything to do with my ex-fiance behind, and being back here with the pain from my marriage has made everything confused and I can't tell the difference between the new pain and the old. Dh talked of leaving to go home to his family for Eid leaving me alone here, which really upset me. That was one of the reasons I didn't marry my ex-fiance - being left alone on Religious holidays.

My brother is not happy with my husband sending me to live separately and taking in a lodger to pay the rent. He maintains that even a person on Social Welfare can maintain a household. He is not happy with me being so unhappy and getting none of my rights as a wife. He said he is going to have a talk with my dh. He got my sister to ring me but I didn't tell her anything. It is bad enough being in this mess without letting my non-muslim family see how things really are.

I am so lonely, and feel so unloved and valueless. I am lost without my husband. I know I have to make a life for myself down here but I haven't the energy at the moment. I have no motivation to study even though I have an assignment due and I am angry with dh for messing up the last appointment with the clinic. I don't know how we will get back on the IUI list.

On the positive side I started acupuncture last week and insha Allah I will go again in the morning. I felt so relaxed after the treatment, it was amazing and lasted right into the next day.

Did anyone else get a BFP after Dibley?

Please keep me in your du'as. I feel so lost, and displaced and not belonging anywhere. 

I am scared of going out of the fold of Islam, or committing major sins. I know the Shaytain gets the one who is alone.

SisterC


----------



## SisterC

Godswill said:


> wasalam soni hun
> 
> ...as i just want some type of closure or something on this matter. I feel like my whole life is on hold because of this ttc.....i am soo fed up knicker watching, the moods, the tears,i feel i have lost my self in this whole thing. I wish there was a button i could press in my brain to stop all these feelings.....!!!    i just want me and dh to go back to where we were....!! Arrrrggggggggggggggggggggggg


Godswill you have hit the nail on the head with this.
sisterC


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## SisterC

r4k said:


> iv just got home now im all alone and i feel so sad and useless. I want to see a scan of my baby, i want to be happy, i want my husband and family to fuss over me. Im so so sorry to be like this, i really am happy for my sister but i just want what she's got.


Ren I am glad you shared this - even though you are feeling bad, sharing it helps me realise I am not alone. Thank you and may Allah make it easy for you.
SisterC


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## SisterC

Godswill said:


> for me..i think this ttc thing i only want to share it with u guys...wen ever friends or family bring it up (they know we are trying thats all) i just fob them of and say inshAllah...make dua and i try to be soo enthusiastic an dpositive about it...but deep down i am a wreck...lol lol im sure u guys know the feeling!!
> May He grant us sabr and the taufeeq to understand His decree. Ameen


Alhamdililah for this.
SisterC


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## SisterC

r4k said:


> i just wish i didnt let everything effect me and i wish i could control myself like him!


Salam sisters
It is so reassuring to read other people's feelings.
Jezach Allah Khair
SisterC


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## SisterC

Salam alaikom sisters

Faz you are in my dua. Do keep us informed. 

Nice to meet you Shahsha and thinendo.

I want to say a special thanks to the sisters who post information about islam, and islamic points of view - that's the first reason I am here - because we are sisters, we share the shahada first. TTC is only one issue in our lives even if it appears to take over everything else. Allah is greater than anyone or anything. Allahu akbar.

I would remind us that celebrating birthdays is not from the Sunnah.
Istikara is. Other people can make du'a for you but as for someone praying Istikara on someone else's behalf - please ask a sheikh.

I feel like I am trying to climb out of a pit, and that I'm near the top. Before AF came I was in brilliant form, even praying Fajr on time. I hate when I lose my way. I have to start all over again. The only thing that I can hold on to is that Allah exists, He is One, He is Living and does not die, in His hand is all good and He has power over everything. I believe that there is no other God besides Allah, and I believe that Muhammad (saws) is his messenger.  I just am not really good at stopping procrastinating and gettin up and doing my wudhu and salah.

Does anyone else find it difficult to get back into a routine of doing Salah on time after AF?
SisterC


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

It's me again. Don't be surprised if I "disappear" again. Dh has been on the phone and he wants me to do some work with the business so I have to go to him in the city for the ttc period instead of him coming here. There is always some excuse...

I am happy to go and that he wants me to come but some of my family have realised how unhappy I've been and have advised me to talk to Sheikh again. They are pushing me to get things sorted once and for all but dh doesn't want me to push him any way at all. Dh is so unpredictable that it is dangerous to push him. He will shout at the very least and I hate being shouted at.


Blinding Light!! Just re-reading this has given me some insight!!!! A main reason why I have been so unhappy this year is that I feel terribly INSECURE - in my marriage, in my life, in my religion. Because dh lost his job at the beginning of the year, and we were and are in debt, I don't know where the next rent is coming from, I don't know about money for food. I know we are not supposed to take things for granted in the dunya but this living from minute to minute, moving up and down the country, packing and unpacking, being wanted/loved then being not wanted/loved - it is no wonder I am an emotional wreck. I feel like a leaf in the wind. Dh is probably feeling the same. I know he is worried sick about money and debt and providing for his mother, but she has 8 other sons - I only have dh. The last time I was so uncertain was when I did Hajj. All the moving from place to place was very disconcerting to say the least.

So I am high up on the emotional see-saw again.

Please keep me in your du'as
SisterC


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Ladies  ,
Alhumdulilah all is ok in my world. Inshallah it will continue to be so. 

SisterC - I'm so sorry to hear that the general period of uncertainty continues for you. It is so hard hearing what you are going through and I'm sure it must be ten times harder for your siblings, muslim or not it is hard to watch anyone you love go through pain. I pray as always, inshallah, that Allah(swt) looks after you, keeps you safe and does what is right for you  .

Fazee - aka Mrs Great Expectations well how EC/ harvest etc? I really want this to come through for you. After all any of us who makes it through has effectively made to the next stage and it is a step for all of us.

ThinEndo - believe me we never tire about anyone having a ME day!lol! I think it really helps to just talk about things and let things out. Sometimes it is so hard even with close friends to explain what this whole journey feels like. As Ren was asking where abouts are you based? If you are down south (sorry Ren) the next time we have a meet up you will have to come along. Thank you for the positive post re DH. I know things aren't conclusive but I was letting myself slip into a state of gloom!

Godswill, Soni, Iman, KP, Shino and everyone who's name isn't springing to mind right now       

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

Insha'allah hope all is well. I dont think I have said welcome and salaams to shahshah and thinendo yet - pls excuse my rudeness and welcome!!  

Godswill - I am pleased that my words helped you sis. I just wrote what came to mind at the time. Looking back its quite a long post, lol...  Pleased you and Ren both feeling better

SisterC I hope all is well with you insha'allah. You sound like you are having a tough time still  Insha'allah all will sort itself out soon I really hope, for you   I think all the sisters will agree with me you sound like a very strong woman masha'allah! Allah swt is on your side and is your guide and you will be rewarded for these tests insha'allah. 

Snowie - hope all is well. Saw you are driving again! hows it going?? 

Maarias and Faz, KP, any other sisters I have missed, hope all is well insha'allah

Love and du'a

xx

p.s Godswill I like the du'a you have at the bottom of all your posts masha'allah. Very inspiring. I think I will print that off and walk arouind with it as definately a good reminder insha'allah!


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## ShahShah

wa'salams ladies

Godswill - in answer to your queries I would suggest trying the clomid - my friend did and she had 3 children one after the other on this before going down the IVF route which is costly.  

Sister C and thinendo - nice to meet you and hope all goes well for you.

Faz- hope your tx went well and you get gd embies.

Love and duas to everyone else.  
x


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Godswill, I would say go for IUI, u can do it both with injections and clomid just to give u maximum advantage and its not as expensive as IVF.Although we were classified as unexplained and had three IUI's but no luck but look at KP,she is pregnant masha'Allah with IUI .At the end of it I believe luck plays a big role in this conception game!!

Fazee, hope all went very smoothly today and u had some nice juicy eggs..........update please!!!!

Iman, good to hear from u..........u always seems to be sooooo positive and spread it around so well too....thanks sister!!!!!!

SisterC, I hope things will get better for u soon insha'Allah!!!!!

Ren,hope u r enjoying ur day off in pj's..........what kind of sweet is on the menu today?  

Snowbelle,glad to know that everything is cool in ur world..........will see u thurs insha'Allah!!!

thinendo and shahshah, hope u guys are ok toooooooo!!!!!  

I was thinking of going to pakistan but it seems each and everyone is pregnant over there so have decided to cancel the plan.........Insha'Allah it will be our turn soon!!!!!!!!  

Love,
Sxx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies

Assalam alaikum thinendometrium (and much more) and welcome.

Asa to everone else - sorry for not posting since last week.

My last update showed 5-6 follies. I had been due for EC on Monday, but we postponed till Tuesday to allow me another day of stimm to give the laggers more time to catch up (total 12 days) then Ovitrelle on Sunday for EC on Tuesday.

Turned up at 7.30. Got taken to my room at 8.30.. waited till 10.50 to be taken down (allocated time was 10.30 - so not too bad) I had asked for a lady doctor to do my EC, so my friend had arranged for Jaya to come down (she had done my ET last time so knew me). In that time, I had been given a relaxant, I felt a bit giggly and told the anaesthetist's assistant (lovely bloke) that the ceiling was moving up and down and the wall from side to side. He said he had never heard that before. He started looking for his glasses! I said.. umm don't youhave them on your nose?   Then we all started giggling. Next thing I knew I was in recovery. They had managed to extract 4 eggs - only 4?  

Anyway, spoke to my friend (embryologist who did my ICSI) - she said I had 4 VERY GOOD quality eggs and she had just ICSI'ed them and to wait and pray. 

Alhumdolillah I have 4 fertilised eggs today and have ET scheduled for 11am on Friday. They will choose the 3 best, AH them and transfer. I leave it in His hands now, as I have done as much as I can. Insha Allah DH will take me there, transfer the cargo, and have him drop me safely home.  

Will let you know how I get on.

JZK for all the du'as, please don't stop...   
Fazworld

btw.. I noticed on Dibley's profile, that not only is she BFP, she is having TWINS!!!!


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## Godswill

w'a'a'w'r'w'b dear Faz...

That is brilliant news....Allahu hu Akbar...      inshAllah may this result in a BFP...may be inshAllah twins again....oh that would be lovely inshAllah.

Where is everyone....   

Going to see baby again today...i feel i have become attached already....  

Ho hum.....??!!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone

Fazzie - thats absolutely brilliant news                   I'm so pleased for you, inshalllah inshallah inshallah

         
       

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Fazeeeee, Brilliant news...........................Insha'Allah it will be followed by the series of goodnews for u and all of us!!!!!!!!!     

Love,

Sxx


----------



## FazWorld

ASA sisters,

JZK for your du'as and kind words but please do not celebrate for me just yet. I feel it is too premature. It is in Allah's hands so please all I ask is that you remember me in your du'as.

A lady on another thread actually had a BFP, and for two weeks everyone was celebrating then found ut it was just a chemical PG. Nothing is certain in this world. When I was PG last time, I felt I hardly breathed throughout the 9 months cos anything could go wrong at any time.

My DH has told me not to tell anyone anything about what we are doing for this very reason. He would be mortified if he found out I was on here.  

I pray that we all get to this stage and beyond. 

JZK 
Fazworld


----------



## thinendometrium

Salams girls

How's everyone?

Thank you to all those who have welcomed me since my last post - really appreciate all your lovely comments.

FazWorld- that's GREAT news, alhamdulillah.  Praying that all goes smoothly tomorrow and that your 2ww culminates in POSITIVE news inshallah, and that we have a happy and healthy baby in 9 months inshallah- I will keep praying for you. We'll take it one step at a time.

r4k- inshallah you get good news in your next clinic appointment. Praying for you.

SisterC- thanks for your welcome, and am so sorry to hear that you're going through so much.  If it's any consolation, Allah never gives anyone anything He knows they can't handle, and it is often said that you know a Moo'min (pious/faithful) by the extent of his/her hardship- so Allah must think you're very special indeed.  You are in my prayers.

Eid is going to inshallah be around the 8th dec.

Just came back from my GP - asked her to refer us for IVF on the NHS - inshallah that will be for the second cycle (wouldn't it be nice if we won't need that 2nd cycle............).  She didn't know what's happened in the last few weeks- was really nice and supportive, never seen her like that.

Lots of prayers and good wishes to all.

Thinendometrium x


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Soni insha Allah things will get easier. 

Just a reminder - We must not think of "luck" having anything to do our BFPs of BFNs. That is shirk which is the ONLY sin Allah does not forgive. He is in control of everyone and everything.

Faz insha Allah it will be fine. Qadr Allah.

As for me - we seemed glad to see each other. But only 2 days in and I'm fighting with dh. He hurts me so much and doesn't understand why I cry. I need communication, love and respect. Does anyone know of an abusive marriage that got better and lasted? I saw a program on a chap in the USA who went to anger management therapy and he changed how he dealt with things. I am ashamed to say that I completely lost my rag and we were back to divorce talk, now he has disappeared. He has been gone for hours and I have no idea where he is or IF he is ever coming home. He has a history of just upping and leaving. Sheikh said he will talk to him tomorrow but the sister who I am allowed to talk to about things said to me "Stop letting him do this to you." I have to be the one to stop it. I have to be the one who stays strong and goes ahead with the divorce. The sheikh here won't give a divorce and of course it is the last thing that I want but it seems like there is no option. Because I can't get a divorce in Ireland, I have to apply to the Islamic council in Britain.

Please please pray that Allah will open my husband's heart and that he will communicate with me.

May Allah bless and guide us all.
SisterC


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## Godswill

a'a'w'rw'b dear sisters..... 

Jumuah Mubarak to all  

My sis is getting married today......may Allah grant her and husband a happy and blessed marriage and lots of righteous children...Ameen (I'm sure they are already married now, as i write this)      

Allhumdulilah all is good....i haven't gone to see the baby since Tuesday....they want to be left on there own...no visitors etc...! Khair..shes been through a lot, and i understand they need their space. 

Ren they named her Sofia.....and she is doing well mashAllah!

sister C  

Faz...inshAllah today goes well. Thinking of you...soon u will be pupo lady inshAllah....  

any way hope some of u pop on soon otherwise i will fall a sleep at work....  

GW


----------



## FazWorld

Asa sisters

jZK for your prayers.

had 3 grade1 8-cell embies put back and am now Pupo. 

Please keep me in your duas  
Fazworld


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## thinendometrium

salams girls

hope you're all well.
where is everyone? Hope you had a good weekend.

Am feeling down and in the pitts this morning. Don't really know why all of a sudden I feel completely down.....

I don't remember who asked, but we are awaiting our FIRST IVF in January InshAllah. This will be a private cycle.

Hope you girls post soon as am looking forward to reading them............will be checking in frequently today!

Love and good wishes to all,
thinendometrium x


----------



## soni

HAPPY MONDAY everyone!!!!!!!!!

Hope u all had a very nice weekend!!!!!!!!!It was freezing  

Thinendo, Goodluck for ur next attempt...........hope it goes smoothly for u with a   at the end of it!!!!!which clinic are u at??

Godswill, Congrats on ur sister wedding..............  hope u r not missing them all badly!!!!!!How r u after lap/dyeAre all aches and pains gone or still suffering.I think its not long till u finish working.Have u planned anything afterwards??HAve u done istikhara about the next attemptCAn't believe I have asked sooooo many questions  

Ren, how r u??Hope u haven't eaten any more sweets than usual lately  .Have u had ur consultation or still waiting for it....update please!!!!!

Snowbelle, where r uhope u r not missing Malaysia too much in this gloomy weather.So anything exciting happening

Fazworld, hope u r not going crazy on ur 2ww.   to you.

SisterC,    to you too and hoping and praying for ur happiness soooon!!!Insha'Allah!!

Iman and KP,    to you too.

Well for me ................. it seems everyone in the family is pregnant.We heard that the very last member(my SIL,DH'S sis)  is also pregnant and is already in her 6 month over weekend.So we are having babies in March,2 in April, one in may Insha'Allah.DH mentioned is there any place where we can hide for next 6 months  .Masha'Allah loads of new arrivals and I am already saving for prezzies!!!!!!  

AF arrived today so going to relax and weghing up pros and cons of going to gym.I went yesterday so if I have a day off today it wouldn't be bad ........... Have to do cleaning and cooking as well so better get myself up and moving.I am feeling more positive today and able to think ahead maybe its hormonal  .It should continue as my follow up for this cycle is exactly in a weeks time now.I have to prepare myself to go through tis cycle again which I have avoided for the past one month.Will see what happens this time round.

Love,
Sxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
I haven't been up to much - just yearning for snow and then totally disappointed when I noticed only the tiniest of films on the cars on sunday morning. Boooo! I want snow! I was actually waiting for a train on Saturday evening and it was freezing I really thought a blizzard was on its way - yeh hey!!! If you guys hadn't already realised I love snow!!! In fact I am really loving this cold spell (especially now that we have central heating!!!), I love proper winter weather  

No news on the TTC front, it is all very boring. I wish we could move forward. The silly HSG people can't confirm an appointment for me until AF starts yet whoever answers the phone suggests that I am the one avoiding the HSG because I was referred in July (not my fault my operation was delayed and I was unwell, and then they didn't have appointments, and then their machine broke and we took a holiday for the first time since this began!!!) End of rant! But yes, we need Mr Snow to see a urologist re his vericole and me to have an HSG preferably in 2008 etc etc.

Faz - How does it feel to be PUPO Hope the 2ww is going well and that you are taking it easy and your little madams aren't making you run after them.

Maarias and KP - Hows your pregnancy going 

Soni - it was lovely to catch up the other day. I tried on all my clothes when I got home and none of them matched the new boots so I went back and changed them for the other ones! 

Ren - I can't keep up with the sweets you eat! Hope you are well etc. 

ThinEndo -Sorry to hear that you are feeling down today, it happens to us. Inshallah there will be better days  . For now at least you need to keep strong, alhumdulilah your IVF starts in January and if there is one thing I have learnt since coming on this site is that you need to keep your physical and emotional strength for that. Try and spend the next month doing positive things - anything you feel that will help you (eat properly, cut the stress, exercise etc) anything to get to that  . Inshallah.  

Godswill - I'm sure your family will be home soon with lots of wedding blurb for you!! 

Other than that my friend and her husband have started to TTC (this is their first month), it made me think back to DH and I 3 years ago. It all seemed so straight forward back then. Its all about names and what you want (number of boys and girls) no where near where we are now, where it is all about timings, frequency etc. Oh the joys of innocence!

lots of love to everyone

love

Snow "Miss I want Snow" Belle!


----------



## DreamTeam

salams ren


----------



## soni

What's everyone's dinner menu??

Godswill, spotting might be the begining of AF!!!!!!it normally happens after lap/dye.

Ren and Snow...........


----------



## DreamTeam

DH bought a stirfry kit to make satay stirfry (ewwwww   I have no idea where he gets his ideas from) but it says it contains gluten (which I can't eat) so I might have squid (got them defrosting) in chilli with mashed potato - yummy!

Any other ideas


----------



## soni

I've got some fish in the freezer but don't know what to do with it.I want to try some stew/soup like thing otherwise will pop it in the oven with some steamed veg!!!!!

Snow, it might be he is missing malaysia hence the menu  .


----------



## DreamTeam

Soni as you well know DH is ready to move there tomorrow if it weren't for a few things!


----------



## Godswill

Wa'salam ladies  

REN glad to see ur up and about mashAllah....whats for dessert tonight?

sorry cant think of food at the mo...don't feel hungry at all...another AF sign, hope it would just get on with it...   

Soni...thanks ....u always have an answer for me mashAllah....jzk much apprecited hun, big relief..i was thinking wha is going on.... lol lol


----------



## soni

Snow,It is exactly how we feel!!!!!!!!!

Ren, stay away from choccies  .............think about ur future babies!!!!!!(it seems to work for me)


----------



## Godswill

Ren..were is th epick of the beast.

I am eating chocolate buttons...yum... want some guys...i know i know naughty for tempting u guys....hahahahaha one of us have to be !!!


----------



## thinendometrium

oh thanks girls for your comforting messages- really appreciate it and feel much better. I think not having anyone to empathise with me about ttc issues was getting to me again............nice to see you girls back on the thread!

Godswill- I had lap and hyst 3 weeks ago and I kept spotting until a couple of days before AF, when the spotting got a bit heavier and then AF began proper- absolutely normal.  You finding that you still get a deep ache in your bellybutton region, especially on bending? Am still getting that.

Dinner? Have been on a low calorie diet for past 3 weeks and so dinner for me tonight is a vegetable stew.  I bought a bag of chopped veg for stew from Tesco- chopped carrots, leeks and potatoes (I think!).  You add it to 1.5 pints of boiling water, add stock cube, bring to boil and leave to simmer for 30 min (in fact it's nearly done now as we speak).  I have made it a couple of times now and I add any seasoning I want and some lemon juice and it's pretty nice and the whole thing only has 155 calories! (plus the few calories from the veg stock cube).  Today I thought I'd make it a bit more wholesome and a bit different so I've added some oaty/lentily sort of mix - has added 185 calories- not bad.  I'll let you know how it tastes!

I'll go eat dinner- cos I was fasting today Alhamdulillah (trying to make up my days from Ramadan).

Keep up the thread- it's really nice to catch up.

Love to you all,
thinendometirum x


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all,

Ha ha - your eating choccies - I also bought 2 tins   couldn't help myself and then DH bought me Krispy Kreme doughnuts tonight!!!   I'm just waiting for my AF so can start my FET.  Hospital is being really annoying as they are saying I cant start over xmas and I told them I would and was not wasting more time .

Hope everyone is well
love shahshah x


----------



## thinendometrium

Salams girls

Hope your day's good.

Well, my soup wasn't much of a soup as all the liquid had gone by the time I got to the cooker and I think the oat things had absorbed most of it anyway. Tastes good with some lemon juice and tabasco sauce though!  Haha, I'm not usually this good, eating 'rabbit food'- the reason I have to do this is because of the rubbish I was eating whilst I was down about the whole ttc not working and as a consequence got to an incredibly high weight, which I now need to lose.  So I haven't had a single drop of chocolate or sweets in the past 3 weeks - an apple is about as exciting as my diet gets   I haven't weighed myself for 19 days or so..........kinda scared to. cos I havent been to the gym, just on this semi-starvation diet (had my lap recently, so that was my excuse until a week ago..........no excuse anymore but still have't managed to get myself to the gym.........). So if I step on the scales and I haven't lost a significant amount, I'm scared I'll lose my motivation for this rabbit food!

I'm quite excited that I managed to put a ticker in my signature!!!

How's everyone doing?

Hope you're all having a fabulous Tuesday.

I've got to go get some work done around the house.

Love to all,
thinendometrium x

ps- I'm starving cos I haven't had anything to eat since my stew thing last night, and I'm supposed to be fasting again today! It's my last day, I'll have finished all my fasting then...........so that thought will keep me going I guess........


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Just back from physio and my toes wiggled for the first time (before my big toe wiggled and then the other 4 wiggled in one block) now they all wiggle individually   . I'm really chuffed  

ThinEndo - wow 1 meal a day! I can never manage that. When I fast I need breakfast or else I can't function at all. Wow 10 kg weight loss is amazing. I think I've reached a bit of plateau   but I've started to do some exercise (more to heal my foot) this week and I'm hoping that inshallah that will help me. What else are you doing to loose weight? I need some more ideas!

Ren - My squid was yummy  ! Its only slimy when it is raw once you cook it mmmmmmmmmm. Besides I thought you were Bengali You aren't supposed to get scared from a little fish! lol.

love to everyone else

love

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

Congrats on the return of your individually wiggling toes Snowbelle!!!    That's great, the physio and exercises are working.

10kg from the summer isn't that great really.  I think initially it was good because I managed to go to the gym twice or three times a week, but the Ramadan came and I stopped going to the gym.  Then I only managed to go once or twice.  Then I had my lap and haven't been at all. Basically the only thing I'm managing to do is a really low calorie diet, aiming for about 1,000 kcal/day, and if I can manage less than that then I'm chuffed.  Yesterday, I only managed to eat half of the stew thing I made, so half of about 350 kcal..........that's pretty bad, no wonder I'm feeling awful today!  I'm not usually a one meal person, I aim for 2-3, with a good breakfast, these couple of days are an exception.

I've just managed to clean most of the upstairs.  Now I've got a million loads of laundry to do and the downstairs, and aghhh. Can't be asked!  DH told me not to do any of the cleaning and we'd do it together when he gets back from work, but I want to get it done (most of it anyway) before he gets home.

Keep wiggling those toes Snowbelle!

Love to all,
thinendometrium x


----------



## FazWorld

asa everyone,

how are you all doing? 

Its hard on 2ww, wondering whats going on inside...I keep doing du'a and rubbing my belly to try and pass on blessings (or whatever!) to help those little embies survive.. 

My kids find it hard to understand why they can't sit on mummy, or why Mummy won't pick them up.  

I don't currently have the bad cramps I had last time (so at least that's a good sign Alhumdolillah) and I feel sick, but I am sure that it is all in my head as nausea don't start till much later.. 

You have to put these Cyclogest Pesseries V*g*nally (or otherwise). Putting them otherwise gives me stomach ache and constipation, and v*g*nally it feels like they leaking out constantly!  

Sorry to be so graphic!  

Hope everyone is well...

Fazworld


----------



## KittenPaws

Salam lovely sisters,

I just thought i would pop in and send my love & salaam to all. ... 

Hope everyone is doing well, its been a while since i last checked in. I have been busy with lots going on. Mum arrives from Oz on Friday and ive been looking after my nephew for past week and half as my MIL is overseas and my SIL has nowhere to leave him as she works. It has drained it outta me, looking forward to resting up a bit. Finished work now, Alhamdulillah! 

Lots of love to all

KP


----------



## ShahShah

Salam sisters

Hope you are all well

Faz- i know what you mean about the pessaries they are a pain but when I asked about that - was told it is normal - you do get leakage!  The nausea sounds like good news as on my cycles I kept thinking am i supposed to feel different!! Inshallah it will work for you. 

Thinendo - i agree with Ren you cant eat only 350 cal and that is also not good if you TTC.

love to you all  x
ShahShah


----------



## thinendometrium

Salam girls

Hope you're all well.

Not much to say except have day off work and not fasting today so just had a seriously late breakfast!

Love and good wishes to all,
thinendometrium x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

Fazzie - Praying really hard that it works for you inshallah  

KP - You must be really looking forward to seeing your mum again, hope you have a great time with her. Hope you are taking things easy  

Soni - Where are you hiding?? 

Ren - Hows the staying away from chocs going

ThinEndo - glad to hear you do eat, 350 calories a day     I don't think I could do that.

Godswill - Hope the bleeding has stopped. Hows the career change thoughts going?

Love to everyone who's name isn't coming to me right now

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Ren,
Alhumdulilah good to hear that you are well   not much to say other than I have been a total TV addict today and I have glued to NDTV. 

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## stardust36

Salaam ladies  
Im new here, hope its ok for me to join you guys...
Ive been reading various forums for a while now..Im in desperate need of some support and encouragement..
Im 27 years old and have been TTC for 15 months (since Aug 2007). At the end of April 2008 I was diagnosed with PCOS and on May 1st I started taking 1500mg metformin. Ive always had long irregular cycles (35-49 days) and dont know whether I was ovulating or not, but since July Ive been temping and and alhumdulillah I have been ovulating every cycle. My first 2 cycles on metformin were longer than usual (54 days and 57 days) but alhumdulillah the last 2 cycles have been 31 and 33 days long respectively and I ovulated on day 15 (which I cant ever remember doing!). 
Its just that Ive been noticing myself becoming low and  more frequently.. I feel sad constantly and am trying desperately to 'get a grip' but Im not doing so well. I feel like Im sinking into a black hole and trying so hard to hold on to normality....And when I feel low and wonder whether I will ever conceive (even though Im constantly reminding myself of the stories of Zakriyah (pbuh) and Allah's mercy and His power and decree), I wonder whether Im being ungrateful or impatient? And I dont want to displease Allah by being impatient. Such thoughts make me anxious. Like, if Im upset or talking to my mum or my sister about how Im feeling, is that the same as me complaining, and therefore is that me being impatient and wrong? I know what Im like and I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself. Has anyone else felt like this or am I slowly just unravelling?  
I have a wonderfully supportive sister and mother but they are abroad (I moved from England to Pakistan after marriage) and my husband mashallah is lovely..I know he dreams of fatherhood and is a wonderful uncle to his nieces and nephews, but he has never put pressure on me or blamed me in any way... In fact, we never really talk about this issue and sometimes I wish I could talk to him about my fears and feelings. He just clams up and says to leave it to Allah and if its meant to happen it will. I know he is right of course, he just wouldnt know how to deal with me if I get upset in front of him.. So I dont talk to him about this..I would love to give him the news that he is about to become a father, insha'Allah... It seems as if this has taken me over..All I think of is having a baby of my own... I dont have many friends here and maybe that is part of the problem. I dont want to feel sorry for myself, I just dont feel very strong right now. Im so stressed out... Sex has become all about whether we can time it right, whether we're in the mood or not...
Im sorry for such a long post... I hope and pray that Allah gives us all the strength and the faith to get through this, and insha'Allah for all our prayers to be answered for righteous and healthy offspring that are a great blessing to us.. Ameen
Lots of love and hugs to you all
xxx


----------



## ShahShah

Dear Stardust

Welcome to FF, I have found this site realy useful and hope you do too.  
Try not to feel down - i know we all do and I think it is harder when we come from backgrounds like ours!  Everyone I know pops out babies 9 months exactly after they are married , but inshallah it will happen for you and everyone here.  I have been trying for nearly 4 years and everytime I hear of another pregnancy in my family or friends I get so angry and upset and wonder why not me, did I do something wrong and I am being punished by this.  But you have to consider that there are worse things than this and people in worse positions than us and all you can do is keep trying, have faith and it will happen.  There are many success stories on here and it amazes me what some of the women have been through, your still very young and have time.

Whereabouts are you from in UK?  

Take care and salam to all the other ladies out there. 
ShahShah xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Ladies,
A big WELCOME   to stardust, I'm so glad you found us and at the same time I wish you weren't here, but alhumdulilah it is better to go through this struggle with everyone than alone     . I pray inshallah that all the children without families find their families and that all the families without their children find their children (AND soon, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease)!

Also Soni is from Pakistan so she might understand what it is like being in a different country without your family to support you. Maybe you could do a friend swap! lol! 

Ren I SO understand where you are coming from. I had a total melt down last night regarding TTC. 3 years ago DH and I were planning our wedding. I'm sure if you had asked me back then, I am positive I would have said that we would have our beautiful bambinos running around by now. Alhumdulilah we had a small wedding, just really close family and friends, and virtually every guest at our wedding has been subsequently blessed with a marriage (if they weren't married) and a child (and children in some cases). I have no one putting pressure on me as such, and in a sense I'm the one putting the pressure on myself. Alhumdulilah I look at the things around me and I feel so blessed especially when I think of how my fate would have been had I been born in a different location to different parents. When I get to the basics, I feel grateful for: the fact I have central heating on a cold day, that I have food in my fridge, that the people I love are safe and well. Yet last night I felt like as if my world was falling in. I haven't felt like that in a while and from no where I just felt so lost and willing to give up. I really felt distraught.   It just feels so wrong that it is so hard. The strange thing is, I almost wish that adoption was simpler in this country and that we could just go and adopt a kid and move forwards (we've looked in to adoption, but concept is that we would get a young child but would not be allowed to try and have our own child for at least 5 years - which neither of us is prepared to do)....anyway thats it for the snow show 

So then Ren, what cake have you got lined up for tonight

lots of love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## stardust36

Salaam ladies 
Thank you for such a warm welcome  Im so glad I found you guys to talk to...
Im living in Karachi at the moment but im originally from London, near Heathrow..
I have been at the receiving end of many tactless and insensitive comments from people over here...some who I know well and others I barely know, but who feel they have the right to make such comments and ask personal questions. Im sure you all know the type I mean! Some people are genuinely clueless as to how tactless they are being and honestly dont know that they may be hurting you, others do it deliberately to speculate and see what type of reaction they evoke... Unfortunately, most people over here are of the latter category. Its a favourite topic of conversation..that, and how much weight someone had gained or lost... I just never know how to reply.. Unfortunately, I clam up and get paranoid that my face says it all (I have that type of face!)   It just becomes more and more awkward and I feel like avoiding such social gatherings but that would mean that I isolate myself even more... My SIL advised me to say that we are not planning a family at the moment, but the more time that goes on, the harder it is to say that. I mean, Im not working over here and its just my husband and I that live in our house. It doesnt even make sense to me why I wouldnt be trying for a baby, it just seems like such a blatant lie to say it to anyone else!   Its all a part of the same test from Allah though... I keep reminding myself that Allah knows I am capable of getting through this test, otherwise He would never have chosen me to go through it. There is His wisdom in this somewhere somehow... 
Now that Ive had my daily rant   I'd just like to say that Im looking forward to getting to know all of you... Please bear with me while I go through previous posts and try to familiarise myself with everyone... 
Ren...please dont feel embarrassed..Ive been there and done that, as Im sure we all have at some point! Even when I know I havent BD'd at exactly the right time and therefore have no expectation that particular cycle, I still somehow find myself becoming hopeful as AF approaches, and since my LP varies from 14-16 days, its worse when its day 15 or 16 post ovulation!
Soni..where are you from in Pakistan? Were you born and raised here?
Does anyone know if its authentic that reading Surah Maryam will help in conceiving? I hear so many different things about what to read etc but I dont want to innovate..
Ok, another long post over!
Lots of love and   to everyone!


----------



## soni

Salam All,

A very warm welcome to Stardust!!!!!!!!!!and looking forward to know you more soon insha'Allah!!!!!

It seems everyone is going through a very tough time at the moment including myself.........Honestly speaking I have given up but my DH is struggling at the moment.Since he has heard about another pregnancy in the family he has broken down in tears in front of me just because he wants children more than anything....he is not happy for my decision of taking up a job and want us to try again asap!!!I have another job interview soon but mentally I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything at the moment.........i just wonder why is it sooo hard for us ....... not that I am complaining but i think we all have gone through enough and have our share of heartache so maybe soon Insha'Allah!!!This hope is making us carry on as we just can't give up .......

Snow,I hope u r feeling better today.We all have good and bad days ......it is sooooo hard to pick ourselves again just to be shattered again(i am talking about myself)but we can't stop living and thats what we all are trying to do........  

Ren, how r u My God ur appointment is in 10 days time only.Have u got the list of questions to askI have mine tomorrow and I have made the list so I don't forget anything to ask but I am sure i will still manage to forget something at the end  

Godswill, how r u??I know it is really hard to face people and answer them on the spot.We all go through this stage of facing everyone at some point and we don't have anything to say apart from Insha'Allah to them.Sometimes I feeel like saying that if it is in my hands I will probably not go through this agony for a single more minute but there is SOMEONE who is up there and has all these decisions in his hands...we can only try and leave the rest to HIM.I hope all your patience will be rewarded soon Insha'Allah!!

Stardust......I am from pakistan....lived in karachi for 5 years before got married and moved here.My family is till there and live in North Nazimabad.My very best friend lives over there too.She has recently moved back after living in london for 3 years with me.If you want I can give u her contact details and then u will have someone who understands both worlds and neutral body so u can say whatever u want without anyone knowing plus she is very well aware of my journey of TTC so u can share that bit of ur life too if u want..........I do feel that I am blessed that i am living here because I understand people would have made me miserable if i was living over there just because of the fact that we don't have kids.Still when i go over there for hols thats the only question everyone asks and I am tired to explaining to them!!!

FAzworld,Iman,Kp ,Shahshah and everyone else  

Love,

Soni


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

How is everyone?

Faz - hows the 2ww going Praying really hard for you, inshallah it will happen  

It seems like there is something in the air at the moment, everyone seems to be finding it hard. We have our appointment on Wednesday. I've been postponing and postponing it as I have yet to have my HSG (because of various delays), and now with DH's vein issue we've decided to go along and at least speak to someone about the impact of his veins on our chances of TTC.  It will also be a bit strange as our doctor will be on maternity leave now... so it will be a new person and a new thought process. They'll probably say come back after the HSG  but I don't seem to be getting to the HSG   . I still can't get over the positivity that my friend has at the moment who hasn't even completed her first month of TTC. I just know it is going to work for them 

Godswill - 3 years in January - thats us too!! When we were in KL we met some people who actually got married on the same day and year as us - now that was strange. 

I'm trying really hard to keep busy and not let myself slip (metaphorically) again, yesterday DH and I went to film festival and lunch out so it was really nice to just forget about things AND say to myself khair we wouldn't have been able to do this if we had a little one.

Soni   I'm so gutted to hear about your DH, he really seems to be taking it hard. Its a shame guys don't talk about thing. I was looking up something on the male factor board the other day and DH pointed out that even there all the questions there were posted there by women for their DH. Inshallah he feels better soon. Its not nice for anyone. 

Ren and Godswill   

Ren - Inshallah your results will be good tomorrow. Yesterday we were at Carluccios, I shared a lovely slice of nougat/torte with chocolate and almonds mmmmmmmm 

BTW whats everyone going to eat on Eid

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

stardust36 said:


> Does anyone know if its authentic that reading Surah Maryam will help in conceiving? I hear so many different things about what to read etc but I dont want to innovate..


asa everyone and a warm welcome to Stardust.. just regarding what you said (pls see quote).. There is a du'a in Surah Maryam where Zachariya prays to Allah SWA to give him and offspring.. 
fahab lee min ladunka waliyyan (Oh, give me from Thy presence a successor verse 5 Maryam -Pickthal) which is good to read.. whether it helps in concieving is up to Him...we can but ask and its up to Him if he thinks it is best for us or not ..

Update from me.. had some spotting this morning.. was due to test today/tomorrow.. all symptoms have subsided and have stopped doing salah.. question.. if AF has not yet come, just some spotting at time when expected - do I still do salah as if it is not AF (and hope it is BFP), or assume it is AF and stop? This is not as normal during which time obv I would stop praying... however what if only spotting.. and not AF??

Told DH it was all over as it was only a tiny bit but pretty red this morning.. I was most upset. Since then not much action going on..so really not sure.. I guess wil have to do test to make sure. If AF don't start yet properly.. do I still not do salah? 

JZK
Fazworld


----------



## FazWorld

snowbelle said:


> Faz - hows the 2ww going Praying really hard for you, inshallah it will happen


ASA

jzk for the prayers.. This 2WW is the worst.. one mo feeling its all happening and the next feeling AF pains..and down in dumps.. it is so awful so many times during the day - every day - esp the last few days..

Then this morning the spotting and feeling that AF coming any min. Felt like that since Sat - when I even went as far as put in protection just in case! DH was upset too when I woke him for Fajr and told I didn't need to do it.. (hence my question).. I know AF coming soon.. hence prob best not to do salah I guess...

JZK for all the du'as.

Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Fazie  ,
You are still in with a chance, you can't give up just yet...its not over until the evil AF comes...inshallah it will work  

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

salaams ladies

Just a quick note to say you are all in my dua   Really understanding regarding the insensitive comments and down days...  

thinking of you all - will write more later insha'allah

xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more babies...thats 3 from 1 woman since I got married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Right time to go and fake my smile

thanks for being here  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## ShahShah

Salam ladies

Snow - know how you feel I just heard of another pregnancy and they have only been married 1 month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   WHY oh why - sometimes I hate these people, is that too strong a feeling   I get so jealous and I know that is a bad thing as Allah tells you not to be like this and I try not to but still feel as I am doing something wrong      I must be a bad person   

Faz - hope you get your BFP.

Am going to see my consultant this week finally after my lap and dye.  Just waiting to start my FET now.

Love to you all


----------



## FazWorld

asa sisters

BFN for me. Its all over now. AF about to come with full force.

Holding up really well, but when listening to recitation on MP3 player on way to work (something I do everyday - not just today btw) - I wanted to burst into tears.

Oh well.. whatever He decrees. I count my blessings Alhumdolillah that he has gven me my two beautiful kids. It is by His mercy I have them. Imaging life without even them? Subhan Allah! I pray that you all get what I have in them Insha Allah and that sometime or other, now or later, you all get a BFP! 

Take care ladies  
Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salam All,

I just wanted to share a bit of bad news with you all.Maarias lost her baby I think last week and had to give birth............her news is in pregnancy loss board.I just feel sooo sorry and so sad for her.It is just soo hard to get pregnant with fertility treatment and then to loose it ................... but it's Allah's will.Please say a little prayer for her and her family.  .

Hope u all are ok!!!!!

Love,

Soni


----------



## Godswill

wa'salam everyone  

SubhanAllah...ina lilahi wa ina ilahi rajioon. From Him we come and to Him we return.... 

May Allah grant her and her family sabr and ease at this most trying time.....Ameen


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum everyone  ,

Inshallah Allah(swt) grants Maarias the strength to get through this period in time. Ina lila ila rajaoon    

Faz    I was so sad to hear about your BFN...

I pray inshallah that Allah(swt) grants families to the children without families and children to the families without children ameen

xxx

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

oh so sorry to hear maarias' news    Please come and talk to us sis when you feel you are ready. We are all here for you    May Allah swt ease your suffering and grant you and your DH strength at this time, ameen.

Hope everyone is ok. I am battling the worst flu I have had in years! but otherwise ok.

all in my du'a
xxx


----------



## Iman

Salaams Faz

I just saw your news too - sorry been offline for a few days. Hope you are ok too insha'allah   

xx


----------



## Iman

salaams

need to ask you ladies a question and its a bit TMI...   but dont know where else to ask! 

please excuse my blushes.....  but does anyone know if illness can affect cervical mucus?? I have had a really bad fever, complete with sickness and hallucinations   and when I went to the loo - its like I am ovulating (EWCM in abudance!) but also with brown blood spotting - only thing is I am only on day 14 and I don't normally OV til about day 20....

Its a bit disconcerting and worrying - can illness do this to you?? mess up your hormonal levels and cause this?? or should I go see the doctor? it was today and yesterday...im hoping it has gone back to normal by tomorrow. If it any help in your diagnosis of me - I have a streaming cold too!!   

sorry for the TMI and yuk factor....but didnt know who else to ask! tried to google it but didn't really get much of an answer...plus self-diagnosis from Dr Google is not normally a good idea.

sorry again!!

xx


----------



## soni

Salam Iman,

I am not sure about the blood bit of the cervical mucous but do know that illness or infections can have an effect on the monthly cycle and same goes for the secretion bit!!!!!!!!It can change the length of the cycle making it shorter or longer too so u might be ovulating early this month but I also suggest discussing it with GP if continued!!!!!Hope it will help u  .

Faz,I forgot to say how sorry I am for ur BFN but be strong for ur kids,May Allah grant u lots of happiness!!!!!!!!Ameen.

Love,

Soni


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Iman - sorry to hear you are unwell - you have to get well soon, its Eid soon!!!

The good news is that I have a HSG booked now for 17th of December, hopefully this one will happen. We decided to go and see the fet doctor anyway yesterday. They basically said that DH veins didn't have too much of an effect on his fertility and that operating on it wouldn't change anything so just to look at it from a pain perspective (which is the opposite to what I have read on the male factor board). He doesn't want to have an operation so that way its ok. On the other hand she said swimmers tend to have fluctuations (a high point and a low point) so his high is about 30 and low is about 12   which obviously is reducing our chances. She didn't really want to talk about what they could possibly do for us, treatment wise, until I have the HSG. I am really hoping that this time the HSG happens after getting let down the last few times. 

Much love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

  

Im a right grumpy guts today, sorry ladies. I am so fed up of being ill. I havent left the house in 4 days. Even having a shower has zapped all my energy. I'm clumsy and weak. My fever is still hanging around and now my cold ( nose is like a flippin tap) has moved to my chest and even breathing properly is a lot of effort. I have a mountain of washing to do because of all the bedsheets and pyjamas soaked in sweat. The freezer has broken down and leaked all over the kitchen floor and theres loads of meat in there slowly defrosting and I can't make a doctor's appointment cos they are shut on thursday afternoons and have a stupid policy that you have to book the appt on the day you want it - which means getting up tomorrow at 8 and calling them 20 thousand times before I get through.I have also watched enough daytime TV to last me a lifetime and its all rubbish.

Not a happy girl!!

Sorry please excuse my moans! this flu business is cr*P. I promise I will never ever say I have the flu in future when I simply have a bad cold or a virus - REAL flu is horrible and very stubborn!

Please dont send me your sympathies - although they are very nice that is not why I am writing - simply needed to rant!! 

Anyway moving on from me ( I do feel a bit better now!) ....Snowbelle this is good news regarding the date for the HSG - progress!! Hope al goes well insha'allah. Also good news re the vein problem not being too much of an impact on fertility  

Hope everyone else is ok - once again, just ignore me - I know that really in the scheme of things me feeling rough is not such a huge deal.

lots of love and du'a

xxxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams
This is just a quick one:

Ren: I just noticed you've lost 9.5 kilos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go girl AND on the pudding diet    NOW you really do need to bottle that and sell it to me! 

Take care everyone - waiting for a delivery and I want it today!!!

love

Snowbelle


----------



## stardust36

Salaam ladies 
Faz - I was so sorry to hear about the BFN... you're in my thoughts and prayers.. For a reason only Allah knows, it just wasn't meant to be...and He is the best of planners...  
Godswill - Are you visiting Pakistan? Whereabouts will you be staying? Are you considering treatment over here?
Snowbelle - Im soooo glad about your upcoming HSG.. at least having investigations can help you feel one step closer to your goal, and also more in control... 
Iman - Hope you feel better soon insha'Allah!  
My update: My hubby isnt well, he has been diagnosed with renal stones and is in a lot of pain on and off, it varies from day to day... This is having an impact on the physical aspects of TTC (sorry if TMI!). If my last two cycles are anything to go by and I really have become 'regular' on the metformin insha'Allah, my fertile days will be coming up over the next week or so.. I dont know if we will really be able to 'try'... But then again, when Allah wills something, it happens no matter what.. And that's what is keeping me going...
Hope everyone else is well  Im going to a wedding tonight!
Lots of love to you all....
xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam Everyone,
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG 
I have in the last 10 mins found out about another 2 pregnancies (that brings this weeks total to 3   ) - both about to give birth asap! Both feel like a slap in the face. All the positive talking that I have been getting from DH over the past few days is just going away and all that is within in me is total hurt  . I feel so gutted, and like someone has punched me in the stomach. If anything I hate my insides right now, I've been having AF since the day after my 10th birthday and I never missed an AF ever. It just feels like they are a total waste of time. So much for having a regular cycle ...its a total joke and waste of time. I can't see past right now. I know I have so much going for me, and I know I have so much in my life but I feel so hurt    I know that neither of these people have hurt me directly, I know it isn't their babies fault but it hurts so much   

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Snowbell - I am so sorry, i know how it hurts. I find it difficult to look at other pregnant women at the moment as well    
Mx


----------



## DreamTeam

salams,
Ren -   I need to stay away from the cake!!! I don't think the cake diet will work for me!!!

Maarias -    forgive me for being so self centred, what I am feeling is nothing in comparison to your loss. 

Inshallah this weekend will be better than today

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA everyone,

I did put this on another thread, but I wanted to have a me session on this thread too.... 

I was sitting on the tube the other day on my way to work, thinking everyone has their own problems that no-one else on the tube knows about.. everyone just minding their own business.. and that no-one knows the heart-ache I have just had and am still recovering from.. and suddenly a few tears appeared.. had to very discreetly remove them so that people continued not to know.. they all just carry on as normal.. having their own issues, me having mine.. and no-one is any the wiser..

I think the worst thing about IF is that it is such a personal issue (well it is for me anyway) that apart from DH, the hopsital and you guys, no-one knows anything about what I have been doing. At work, they have no idea and I am still my normal clown self... making others laugh at my own silly scatty antics etc.. when all I want is to feel PG again.. to go for the scans.. to worry if everything is OK inside.. for people to offer me their seats on the train when they saw a bulge.. to have a tiny bundle wrapped up and given to me 9 months later..

In fact the time I feel really upset is when I listen to recitation (on tube) and don't feel I am sad at Allah, but together with Allah (cos I know He is upset for me too) that this is for my betterment... and simply accept it.. in fact I rememberd Imaan/Godswill's quote that Allah is upset that we are upset - and that made me even sadder!

I know Allah SWA has given me my two beautiful girls (alhumdolillah) and I should be sooo grateful.. but one can still get upset at what feels like a loss.. the fact that I am not going to try again.. I can't afford to at £5-6K a shot..yes its worth it if it works, but to date I think I have spent nearly £30K over the years/cycles.. I can't make DH go through it again, nor my body/emotions/etc.

I have started picking up my kids again (I had stopped during the tx) and they were very upset..and they love it and I love it. I will Insha Allah try naturally for BFP, but not the crazy stuff we were doing this past year.. where every month was a potential.. now Insha Allah I hope it will just be grate s*x and if Alllah SWA gives us something as a result then Alhumdolillah.

Maarias.. I hope I didn't say anything to you that would cause you upset or hurt on your thread. I am soo sorry for your loss. I am sorry for my loss...

May all you sisters here at least taste of being PG and motherhood at least once in your life as Alhumdolillah I have... and may He grant you all (and me) more besides... 

Sorry this was such a me me me post.. but I am sure you guys will understand...  

Fazworld


----------



## Maarias

Faz - I didn't feel at all offended by your post. Sometimes it feels so selfish to be to still be trying when I have this beautiful little miracle boy at home that I've been blessed with. I want to be a good mum to him like I used to be take him out to have fun, cuddle him, read to him all those things that I used to love doing... He gives us both so much joy at such a horribly traumatic time.

I am so very very blessed in my life. 

Snow - your pain is no less than mine and don't every apologise for it. - I remember that pain of thinking I would never have children - IA your dream will come true one day too sis.

Mx


----------



## DreamTeam

Fazie I wouldn't put that down as 'me' post. I'd put it down as an 'us' post. To be honest with you it pretty much sums up how I've been feeling this past week except I haven't got so far in the visualisation of my children. 

Hearing about people who I know who are going to have children who I know to be not worthy of being parents breaks my heart. Hearing stories like the ones in the news this week of parents who are so horrible to their own children, breaks my heart. Thoughts spin around in my head and I think how I would have failed as a parent and try and get myself to accept the fact that this isn't meant to be for a reason. I almost want to say I quit because I know life would be easier like that. I find myself reading the 'moving on' board more and more because I realise on a daily basis that I can't go on and live my life like this. Mr Snow is so wonderful, he just keeps on saying that he wants whatever I want (if I want to go for assistance then he is ok with that and if I want to go straight for adoption then thats ok too). I just can't seem to shake myself out of this feeling of being down that I've got into this week. I know we've had good news this week from the fet doctor. I almost feel as if I am going through a period of mourning. How can I mourn what I never had? 

forgive the ramblings

Snowbelle


----------



## ShahShah

Salam sisters

Hope you are all well, Faz and Maaria - sorry to hear of your losses but may allah reward you and your families that you do have.  

I had my appointment today with my consultant and he has advised me to go ahead with a full fresh cycle and not FET, he advised me against immune testing (as I am thinking of moving to ARGC- but too costly), and said although some Drs will try to prove it works the majority take the view that there is no hard medical evidence for it!!!  Am so confused now...  To be honest if all I get is one child that is enough..  I dont care about having more I would like to be blessed with one at least!!! 
All my tests are clear and they cant find anything wrong with me for my treatment not to work!  This is so frustrating 

Sorry if I am moaning, as this just seems to be consuming all my efforts now....

Eid Mubarak to you all and hope you all have a wonderful day 
lots of love shahshah xx


----------



## Iman

assalaamu alaikum lovely snow ( faz, shahshah, maarias and all other girls)

Snow you said " How can I mourn what I never had? "

Its perfectly possible to mourn for children you never had - or haven't had yet. Its mourning for lost dreams. None of us ever think this is going to happen to any of us - we all dream and EXPECT ( naively maybe?? I don't know) to get married and within a year of two to have babies - easily and happily and as many or as few as we want. It comes a huge shock when these things don't work out this way. None of us ever expect to sit in a hospital consultant's room discussing these things with a stranger - i know this was one of the reasons my DH and I found it so hard to remember to ask our consultant questions, every time we went we just couldn't believe still that we were there. So don't feel bad for mourning - mourning that things havent turned out the way you dreamed or hoped or thought. I know I have done enough of that.  

But theres still a chance things will work out - perhaps not in the way we originally thought but still happen nonetheless. I get insanely jealous of those who pop out babies like its a hinderance not a blessing - who spend more time trying NOT to get pregnant then get pregnant! I know someonw who in the time I hve been with my DH, met hers, married him, got pregnant 1st month of marriage and 3 months after the birth of baby no 1 - conceived baby no 2!  its ridiculous when you compare her situation to mine or anyone of us on here. Its not regular jealousy in that I dont want her to have that instead of me - its just that I want it to.

I know we are all having a bit of a rough week or so....all in my dua'a   May Allah swt bless us with our heart's desires and grant us the the patience to endure the wait, Ameen.

xxx

p.s. Flu is finally on its way out! yippee! feel vaguely human again ! Actually ate some food with enthusiasm and didnt feel like I was eating cardboard. Went to Dr who was rubbish - but least she said its not serious - think theres a lot of it going round. Hopefully I will be completly "normal" ( whatever that is! lol) by end of the weekend.


----------



## stardust36

Salaam everyone...

Maarias - Lots of   for your loss and   that Allah gives you the strength and patience to get through this difficult time. I cant even begin to imagine what you're going through right now...
Snowbelle - Ive just heard about a third pregnancy this week too..at the wedding I attended tonight. It's hard when I begin to wonder whether it'll ever happen for me...Whether I will ever have the joy of seeing a BFP on a pregnancy test and announcing the wonderful news to my hubby and family... Imagining DH's face and reaction... I try to remind myself that Allah has written a masterplan for us all, and our fates are independent of each other's, we will all be tested differently... I know a lady who, out of 4 of her pregnancies, conceived three while using contraception (properly) but who sadly is stuck in a very abusive and unhappy marriage.... Like Faz said, everyone has problems that others do not know about..

I attended a religious gathering in the neighbourhood and an old lady who I didnt recognise came to talk to me. The first question she asked was whether I have any children. I smiled and said 'not yet' thinking that would be the end of it. But she persisted for 10 mins, demanding to know why I hadnt and saying 'your father-in-law was a very prominent figure, you should be continuing the family line, you should have 7-8 at least running about'. Her parting words were an order that I should have 7-8 children.... I was too angry to be hurt. She was old, but that didnt give her the right to interrogate me like she did.   The worst part was that I was too shocked to reply, and all the ladies from my neighbourhood (renowned for their nosiness) were listening in... A couple of them have asked me themselves on separate occasions about any 'good news'...Other than 'insha'Allah', how else could I have replied to her questions? Immediately following that, the lady sitting next to me announced she is expecting and that she had taken the morning after pill to try and rid herself of a possible pregnancy after unprotected intercourse, but that it hadnt worked... Subhan'Allah! Her pregnancy was meant to progress, despite her efforts to prevent it... And despite my efforts for a pregnancy, it is just not been Allah's will so far. Thats all it comes down to..Allah's will..And such examples as this lady who had taken the emergency pill, serve as a reminder...

Sorry, being very philosophical there..!
Stardust


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Hope u all are fine...................  

I understand the position we all are in and as Faz said we all have different problems and different lives but seems to be struggling for one common cause.............OUR OWN CHILD/CHILDREN.

I have decided that since I am surrounded by kids and expectant mums Masha'Allah,I will try and not to run or avoid them instead try and help them out in whatever way I can otherwise i will not be able to survive next 6 months.............I have found taht more I run away from something in my life more I have to face them so why not accept it and move on  .I've been crying,having arguments with DH just because I am finding myself very irritable at the moment but I want to live my life too..........with or without child...........I just want to be happy........and to feel this happiness,something which I haven't felt for past 14 months.In other words I have given up!!!!!!!Our docs suggested at our apptt to try natural frozen embryo transfer since they couldn't find anything wrong with us or embryos and have given us a go ahead to try again in Jan but I haven't got any strength to go through all this trauma again atleast for the time being but my DH's desperation is continuing and more he is trying to talk on this matter more I am trying to ignore it!!!!!!!I can fight against anything in life but NOT against ALLAH's WILL so I will wait and pray for HIS mercy.

I don't know whatever I have written has made any sense but I am also letting it all out..............please don't mind and ignore me!!!!!Hope u all will have nice weekend!!!

Love,
Sxx


----------



## Godswill

wa'alaykum assalam w'r'w'b dearest sisters....

a big huuuuggggeeee group hug  

Soni...i totally agree wth what u said...the more one tries to avoid something the more it hits u in the face and it really hurts...so i have adopted the attitude....embrace it full on...and mashAllah it has worked out Allhumdulilah..i go visit my friends, my nieces my nephews....and i give them cuddles and spoil them, Allah knows if i will ever have kids of my own, but i have  alot of cuddles and love to give so y not give it to the kids i have around me...yes its not the same as having my own but its better than nothing.  MashAllah i come from a huge family and there is always someone pregnant...in the begining i cried like a baby....about the news...as i tried sooo hard to avoid it. But now i have changed my way of thinking i am dealing with it..Allhumdulilah. Allah never burdens us withh more than we can bear....He is just!

Stardust...yes we are coming Pak in Jan to Karachi..defence. I will be seeing someone just show her my reports etc...see what she says. I have high Prolactin levels.....i want to hear her take on things....i see her on the 14/01 so i pray inshAllah she can say something positive as here i am not getting anywere...ummmmAllah knows best

I dont think anyones post are "me" posts...we all have the right to feel the way we do...its human nature....if He made us all perfect boy wouldnt we be living in a very dull word....Allhumdulilh...as least we come to the realisation at some point thats its His will!!!

I leave u all with a couple of duas...
Bismilla
At that time Zaariyya invoked Hid Lord saying "oh my Lord, grant me from you, a good offspring.You are indeed the All hearer of invocation" (3:3

And those who say Our Lord bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes,and make us leaders of the pious. (surah 25:74)


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## DreamTeam

EID MUBARIK!!! 
                                                      

Eid Mubarik everyone, inshallah all our duas will be accepted. Inshallah all the children without families will have get their families, and inshallah all the families without children will get their children (SOOON please    )

Lots of love to everyone, inshallah have a great day

love

Snowbelle


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## Godswill

Wa'alaykum assalam w'r'w'b'  

wow it is   .....prrrrrr

wooohhoooooooo well i am off sick from work....   as i dont have any hols so i had to pull a sicky to celebrate...lol lol lol oh well what they going to do sack me...lol 

      
Eid mubarak to all you lovely ladies....taqaballahu minna wa minkum (may Allah accept it from you and me) enjoy this blessed day and seek His forgiveness and mercy....plz remember me and my fam in ur humble duas...and like wise.


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## Godswill

w'a'w'r'w'b dwarest sisters...

where is everone  

hope u all had a joyous eid and we can take benefit form the blessed day...

how is everyone else....feeling positive?? i dont know how i feel anymore...this ttc thing has left me feeling numb....i have shed loads of tears...the anger as i dont know were i stand and now numb.... 

hope al is well everyone!

Ren....Thursday....wow...inshAllah it will go well hun   sorry to hear u got cornered yesterday....the joys of family gatherings hai!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
I just wrote out a massive message and then deleted it - doh!

Anyway I hope everyone is ok and not thinking about TTC.

I'll try another message in a bit when I'm not so annoyed at having written and deleted loads!

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA everyone and a very big Eid Mubarak (tho somewhat belated) to you all.

Wot a day.. I wasn't praying (AF[cos of BFN] came last Tuesday - if it was going to come - why not come early like it normally did?? then could have got Eid and the fast on the 9th!! ) but went with MIL and my kids to mosque and just sat at the back. MIL wanted to go and it is important for kids to get used to it and also for all ladies (young/old/menstruating etc) to go.. so always make a point of it.. my SIL's don't go.. am still working on them on that point tho! 

We then had a bring a dish round MIL's.. rushed out after Maghrib to go to my mum's (even tho mum in Pak at the mo - but other siblings and their kids there). We had a bring a dish round there too... I find I can't eat much where there is too much variety tho. 

Poor kids didn't get to bed till 11.30pm (fell asleep in car on way home) and it was a school nite! 

DH and I decided to give out hampers per family rather than Eidy this year.. Alhumdolillah too many kids of same ages - so present buying or even eidy was getting very diff and expensive... This year we decided that each child would buy for one other child in another family.. That way (with the help and advice of recieving child's parent), the child got somethng more meaningful and desired and a bit more expensive instead of hundreds of silly cheaper toys - my kids got way too many dollls the old way! 

Not sure how the hampers went down - cos people just looked at them as if 'what and why is this' - but we enjoyed giving them out.  I guess its a bit of a new phenomenon.. but they were really good.. www.halalhampers.co.uk if anyone is interested in using them. 

Hope everyone is well..
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
How is everyone doing after Eid? Alhumdulilah I'm feeling a lot more positive and willing to take things as they come to a point. 

I also had a massive conversation with my mum this morning and it helped me clarify some of the things that I am prepared to do as well my cut off points. In a way it is making me feel as if things are more clear as I know my own boundaries etc. Inshallah this feeling of strength will remain with me

Ren   sorry to hear that you had a hard time over Eid. Yes kids do make Eid fun, but I think its also important to remember that Eid isn't just for kids, and that us as adults still make up a family unit and can still have fun over Eid.

Faz   I totally love hampers. At uni one of my friends mum used to make them for everyone and since then they pretty much feature on our birthday present plan (I know you don't do birthdays), but ours are personalised and sometimes quite silly etc

Godswill - sorry to hear that your Eid was an anticlimax, inshallah things will get better 

Soni, Maarias, Shasha, Stardust, Iman, KP and everyone   

much love

Snowbelle
xx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam Ladies

Hope you are all well.  I had a good Eid, ate loads and had my appointment last week.  Am going to wait till new year now to start a fresh cycle!!!  If this does not work I am going to go to abroad - maybe India - did you know they will transfer 5 embies there!!!  And there must be hope for us as that woman of 70 gave birth in India as her husband wanted a son, b.....y men    

Ren - I hope your get good results tommorrow, if your DH has improved please let me know what you did as then will get my DH to try 

Everyone else I have missed my prayers are with you - I'm just looking forward to having some time off work now! 

Love shahshah


----------



## Maarias

Shahshah,
I might join you in India - 5 embies!!   

I'm trying to see whether anyone will let me transfer 3 given my advancing years (38/ 39 in June  )
Mx


----------



## FazWorld

Maarias said:


> I'm trying to see whether anyone will let me transfer 3 given my advancing years (38/ 39 in June )


ASA everyone,

Maarias, sorry hun, but I believe you are too young to have 3 embies put back! I believe the HFEA guidelines state that under 40's can have only 2 max put back. 40+ can have 3 embies put back due to the advancing years. The plus side is tho that you have a great chance of concieving again due to your tender years.. it is after 40 that the graph looks dire! its an exponential downward line!

However - saying that - you can always ask them if they will - you never know they might just sneak an extra one in.. how many frosties have you got available?

I had only 10% chance of success.. even tho all the embies were grade1 (they looked beautiful - clear and defined), so I was playing the numbers game - and lost.. at least you are not in that stage yet.. so hang in there and IA Allah SWA will reward you for your sabr (and indeed sister - you have been truly tested). 

Ren, hope your appointment goes well today. 

Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

salams everyone,

Ren - just a quick pop in to wish you all the best for your appointment today, inshallah they give you some good news and a way forward.

Maarias - good to see you  . I saw that lady in India too, initially I hadn't realised it was IVF - the way the news presented it was as if it was a natural conception and I was gobsmacked and then shocked that it was IVF and all way good. Inshallah it will all work out in the end.

Fazie and everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dearest Ren,

That truly is brilliant news.....Allah is the best of planners....from ur message i can feel the happiness oozing out mashAllah, may Allah always keep u under His shade, grant u immense happiness and fulfill all ur dreams if it is good for u in this dunya and akhira...may the end result result be a   Ameen thumma ameen.

love and duas to all the others....


----------



## DreamTeam

Oh wow thats wonderful ren, NO MORE choccies for you Mrs!lol Its big time healthy food - you need to be in mint condition for the amazing bit of your journey inshallah.

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Ren
Jumma mubarak sisters.

Subhanallah - that's brilliant news!!    IA you will have your bfp soon - we really deserve some on this thread  

Faz - your post really cheered me up, thank you sis for thinking I am still young  . I can't believe my chances are that different to someone over 40 but will keep my hopes up IA, that is really all that's keeping me going, well that and dh and ds. IA sisters all our dreams will come true soon. I am finding each day a struggle at the moment, but know in my heart that our little one is who we miss so much is in the best possible care,just miss pregnancy and our little bubba so very much...it's just broken my heart   It's all been such a terrible shock still feel like I am suffering from post-traumatic shock. Sorry to burden you with all this sisters. I am trying to take strength from the fact that we did get a bfp and that I have got another year to play with. A little healthy baby would take some of the pain away, even if a corner of my heart will forever be so sad to have lost our special little miracle  

Mx


----------



## Godswill

Salam ladies...Jumuah mubarak  

I have an interview today as a teaching assistant and one on Monday....i really hope i get the one on Monday as the school is a 2  min walk from were i live. It means pay drop but all worth it, what better that to work with kids....it will be a great challenge and very rewarding IA.

Ren...   inshAllah we shall all get to where we want with sabr...
indeed cut down on he chocs lovely....god ur scaring me about the clomid.....i wonder if my gyny or the doc in Pakistan will recommend them...UMMM..Listen to me...lol i was being really positive the other day...(well thats all i can do) i said to dh...will the travel agents give back out money if one of us cant go Pak, he looked at me and said y with a blank look? i said in case i am pregnant...lol lol i don't think its wise travelling in the 1st 3 months... lol lol lol oh well, i guess i must remain   or otherwise i will go crazy    plus as Allah says...kunfa ya qoon. be and it is....so insAllah ...

Maarias....don't ever apologise about how u feel...that what we are all here for....u come on and say whatever u want...sorry ur hurting, i wish there was something we could do to take ur pain away...but sis Allah never burdens a person with more they can bear. My mum lost 2 children...one was a month old baby and the other was 8 years old a boy who died of lukeimia...she has never got over the pain...as she always wanted a boy....may Allah grant those that have lost and those that are yearning for children be under the shade of Allah on the day of judgement and may He grant us all sabr...Ameen. Remember all the children that die in infancy will on the day of judgement wait by the door and call for their parents....sis like Faz said ur still young and u did get  BFP so inshAllah u Will again my dear.....!  

Snow, Imaan (hope u have recovered well from the flu) , kp, Shahshah, stardust (hope ur dh is feeling better),soni (hows job hunting going?) shino, sisterc big hugs and duas


----------



## Maarias

Ren,
It made me cry too although I also gave me a great, great deal of comfort when I mum told me about that    

I am staying at my mum's at the moment, and even managed to take ds to a grotto today - he was seriously underwhelmed by the whole experience   .

Mx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

I am on Cycle day 37 and have had my second BFN today. I am in Damascus which is why I have not been online. I am in an internet cafe with no time to write more. Alhamdililah everything else is fine. I am 41 today and insha Allah when I get home I hope to be able to undo the damage dh did with the consultant and hopefully get IUI. 

You are in my du'a and please keep me in yours. Insha Allah when I return to Ireland I will read all the posts since I left on 30/11/08.

Love 
SisterC


----------



## SisterC

P.S. I forgot to say Eid Mubarak
C


----------



## thinendometrium

Assalamu alaykum my dearest sisters

Sorry I haven't been on for a good couple of weeks.  Although I haven't been online, I have been praying for you all.

Very belated Eid Mubarak to you all. Hope you had a wonderful Eid and hope your next one is in Mecca inshallah.

Maarias- I am so very sorry for your difficult loss. You have every right to feel the way you feel. I pray that Allah grants you the patience necessary to move on.

Fazworld- I have been praying for you and I'm very sorry to hear about your BFN. May Allah grant you patience as well.

Stardust- welcome and it's great to have you on our thread.

Ren- CONGRATS on your great news, alhmadulillah. May your good news continue, ameen.

Snow- hope all's still geared up for your HSG on 17th IA.

ShahShah- when are you due to roughly start a fresh cycle?  Am due to see my consultant this week to find out dates for the new year - it will IA be our first IVF cycle.

Imaan- so sorry to see that you had an awful flu- I think I have it now - high fevers and what was initially just affecting my nose and throat is now affecting my chest and finding it hard to breathe and have a productive cough (sorry TMI).

Godswill- your trip is coming up soon- am excited for you.

Sister C- sorry that you're getting BFNs despite missed period.  Please pray for us at Zaynabiya.

To everyone else, hope everything is going well for you.

Lots of love and good wishes,
Thinendometrium xox


----------



## Godswill

Assalam alaykum w'r'w'b dearest sisters     

How are u all....Allhumdulilah i am good.

Thiendo...lovely to hear from u, yes u did dissapear on us...however good to have u back mashAllah  wow u have lost a lot of weight...what are u doing....hope not the rabbit food, where do u get the motivation to keep eating that stuff....mashAllah! So u have ur appointment this week, will give dates etc..inshAllah not long for Jan...inshAllah u get ur  soon inshAllah.

Sister c...sorry about the  inshAllah next month. Wow ur in Syria..please make lots of dua for us sisters as ur a traveller...! thinking of u  

Ren....what for dessert today...hope u havent finished the quality street tin....that is a huge box!! lol 

Snow not long to go....2 days inshAllah  ....

My sisters are mashAllah pregnant..both of them, i am extremely happy for them and would never take it away from them..i pray sincerely that they go full term and both mother and child are healthy...Ameen

However some of us are trying month in month out...and others try one month and bang A ...subhanAllah truly Allah hears and sees our pains and we will be rewarded inshAllah...some of us are just tested a bit harder and longer than others but we will inshAllah get there too!

A very dear friend sent this to me....may Allah shower His infinite blessing on her and her family alwas...Ameen..it really has given me great comfort inshAllah....

On the day that mothers will not care for their children nor husband for wife etc. InshaAllah, you and your patience will shine and rise above others..she told me this is the dua she makes for me...sisters i too wish this for all you in hardship ....our reward is with Him...

Soni, shahshah, iman, stardust, shino, faz and others love and duas...  

xxx


----------



## thinendometrium

Assalamu alaykum my dearest sisters

Hope you're all well.

There was so much to take in when catching up with the thread yesterday, that I'm sure I forgot some personals.  I woke up very early this morning thinking "I didn't ask Godswill how interviews went"!!!

So, Godswill, hope your interviews went well and that you will IA get the job you really want.

AF is due tomorrow or Thursday and am getting a bit nervous now............really hope that Consultant doesn't postpone our treatment to next cycle as I've got myself psyched to just get on with it.  Allah will plan it the very best way.

As for my diet, I've cut down on the immense amounts I used to eat.  I hardly ever get to go to the gym though- I'm sure that would help increase my metabolism and speed up the weight loss. Motivation? I think it's the impending treatment in January IA- cos I'm usually not motivated AT ALL.

Hope you all have a lovely Tuesday.

Lots of hugs,
Thinendometrium xox


----------



## Godswill

w'a'a'w'r'w'b dearest sisters...    

I hate it when AF is coming i am on next week...as the run up for me is such a emotional time..i just keep crying a the most stupidest things....    arrggggg...!!!  yesterday went to pick dh up from station...and i burst out crying....had to park the car up so he could take over.....ahh bless him...he ended up spoilingme though!! lol lol  

My interview....hahahaha hear this i didn't get it...." i did great at the interview but the other lady had more experience and that we always have opening at to apply again...." duuhhh well it did say that in my application form that i havent any experience working with children or children with behavioural difficulties.....y call me for an interview!!    oh well as they say pick ur self up and keep going!!

I had another one yesterday...didnt go too well either...they saw me for 15min...i just know it was a disaster..!!!

So how is everyone else doing as this week i'm not doing too good!! 

count down ....i have 5.5 days left at work...no more work...what am i going to do...an idle mind is a dangerous mind...   

Love and duas...

xxx


----------



## soni

Salam Everyone,

Godswill, I could have written the same about the job interviews because this is what happening to me.apparently there is someone else out there more experienced than me.Guess just need to keep trying!!!!!!!I just feel lost in this whole wide world.....  .I think it is the hormones dragging us down as me due next week too............My buddy  .

Ren, Great news on ur apptt.................now getting on with the real business but I can see that ur odds have gone UP with clomid    and hope u r not having those sticky fudge toffees  .

Snow, nice chatting to u earlier and Good Luck tomorrow  

Thinendo,   that everything goes well on ur apptt!!!!  Good job on loosing soooooo much weight  

Maarias,How r uwishing u all the very best in whatever u do next  

Fazee, thinking of u tooHope work and kids are keeping u busy!!!

\shahshah,SisterC,Iman  to all of u.

Me off for shopping.My SIL is coming with her 2 kids tomorrow Insha'Allah!!!Need to cook something for them.Then I am having a haircut and facial on Thursday.............need it desperately!!!!!!Will speak soon and keep me in ur prayers!!

Love,
Sxx.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Just a quick jump in to say   to everyone.

SisterC - great to see you out and about in the world, I bet Syria must be lovely, I was going to say hot but then I remembered that it gets quite cold there in winter. Anyway hope you are ok. Sorry about your neg results but alhumdulilah sounds as if you and your DH are getting along well now.

I am not looking forward to tomorrrow, will be very pleased when it is over and done with...inshallah. Please pray it all comes back clear. I could do without any more hospital visits.

love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

salaam my dear sisters

Snow- hope your HSG goes well and that your tubes are healthy.

Godswill- don't worry about the job interviews, like Ren says, it's their loss.  The right job will come round at the right time IA.  Same goes for you Soni.

Ren- you can def afford to eat all those sweet treats cos your BMI is A LOT less than mine!!!!  Which reminds me, I haven't weighed myself in about 3 weeks- have a feeling i've put on weight so am putting it off.

Hope you all have a great  day.

love,
thinendometrium xox


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies

how are you all thios fine sunny morning? Its clear blue skies in London.. but soooo cold!

thinendo and Ren, how do you manage to lose sooo much weight.. if I take my eye of the ball for a second.. my weight goes up. I am currently just over 70Kilos... need to be around 60K.. prob with us is that we always eat any food left over.. I try to make less... but it just don't happen... hate the gym - so simply don't go.. 13K lost is seriously good!


Snow,Soni, don't worry about the interviews, IA Allah SWA has a better job lined up for you round the corner... 

I had a terrible time at the end of my last job, they were trying to force me to quit after 9 years.. cos they knew my position was going to be made redundant and didn't want to have to pay out - gave me warnings, said I was incompetant etc... I prayed and sincerely left it in all Allah's hands to do what was right, and AH, I was able to stick it out till redundancy time, got a good payout. 

I then went for some interviews where I was totally disastrous.. but alongside went for my current job interview.. not thinking I would ever get it - but would be useful for interview experience. Obv I got this and not the others.. but I didn't want it.. even tried to put them off by demanding more money - and that was after an increase in pay of 25%! And they agreed! I have now been here 1.5 years, I am learning so much.. and they have just agreed on Monday to allow me to work 9am-2pm at work, and then 3.30pm - 6pm at home.. which allows me to drop kids at school and pick them up.. Subhan Allah it has worked out better than I could ever have hoped. 

Have faith and hope IA that Allah SWA will do what is best for his believers. 
Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Asalamalaykum Ladies,
Alhumdulilah I had my HSG this morning and got the all clear      , my tubes are all good and the dye went through without any problems. I am really relieved. I was literally in tears last night because I was soooo worried that they would find some else wrong with me. Inshallah its all onwards and upwards from here.

I feel really crap though!!!

Back to resting with a hot water bottle and my feet up

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Salam w'r'w b dearest sisters.....

Snow       excellent news hun....i am happy for u...so whats the next steps?

guess what ladies...i got offered the original job that i applied for...the lady they offered it to her father was taken ill so she had to withdraw, so they rang me and said if i would like the position.... wooohooo then after about half an hour the other school rang to say that the original person they offered th Job too, has also declined and that if i would like it....now i have 2 job offers Allahumdulilah...very confused though! As one of the jobs is a school next door to my house and th other is about 15-20 min drive...however feel more comfortable with the one that is the furthest away!!!! Ya'Allah plz help me make a decision..i will do istikhara and take it from there!!! Truly Allah helps the believers....all about tawaqal!!!

Any way thought id share my good news with u...i will make a decision by tomorrow inhale!!

love and duas to all


----------



## FazWorld

Subhan allah... 

thats fantastic news to both Snowbelle and Godswill.

Fazworld


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams
Thanks Godswill and Faz  , I feel really relieved. As for the next step, I've got an appointment booked for March but I'm going to see if they can given me an earlier appointment. Other than that I guess we are definitely TTC! In terms of a treatment, our lusual doctor (on mat leave) and the one we saw this time have suggested ICIS as DH's levels fluctuate. I guess I better go read up on that! Does anyone know the particular differences between the two. Is ICIS as invasive as IVF? 

Maarias - 

Soni, Godswill, Iman, Shasha, Thinendo and everyone  

love to everyone  

Snowbelle


----------



## Maarias

Snow,
Brilliant news  

ICSI involves actually injecting the sperm into the egg to ensure fertilisation, as opposed to IVF where the sperm and egg are left to get on with it if you know what I mean....

Other than that I think up to that point both treatments are pretty much the same.

mx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam sisters

Subhanallah!!!! What a great day!

Congrats Snowbelle on your clear hsg!

and Godswill, Allah truly can make the impossible POSSIBLE!!!! You got 2 rejections, and then the equation turned 180 degrees overnight! Hope you are comfortable and happy in the job you choose. A million times Alhamdulillah.

Ren, thin is what I wish I was!  But it's just my endometrium that's thin, not my body shape!!!

Lots of love to all,
thinendometrium xox


----------



## Godswill

Salam ladies....

woohoooo  what a lot of  going on here...i like!!      

Thanks/jzk girls.... i have some direction in regards to career...in regards ttc ...no clue...i guess i will know more when i see a doc who know what they are talking about/doing inshAllah  

Ren...wow no goodies in ur hse...that sounds like a big task...   how u going to manage...!!! lol 
No we are still going to Pakistan, i told one school today and they said they will wait. The other school i told them at the interview. I know i am second choice for both jobs...but i don't care...lol lol!! I will be leaning more to the school that is the furthest away...as i feel its more of a challenge working with a child with behavioural difficulties...he was excluded today ...gosh...sounds scary..he is 10!i felt comfortable there when i went for the interview....! The second one i didn't...the advantage it has is its close to home..thats it!! I will be always bumping into kids and parents...and there is a child that lives in our flat, upstairs...so i think its better to go with the one furthest away...i will see inshAllah!! 

Snow wow March....its the waiting thats the hardest...i guess its standard 3 month follow...! lets pray inshAllah u wont need to go and that u will be expecting real soon inshAllah  

Ren i like the new name for Thinendo...mashAllah....(not meaning any offence Thiendo hun) ... jzk for ur well wishes and positive comments....mashAllah truly u are right...Allah can make the impossible possible....so that should give us all hope that we wil all be mothers at His will inshAllah! I truly believe that!

Mwah to u all & duas


----------



## DreamTeam

Godswill - thats cool having 2 job offers at once, I could do with one! lol! I'd go with the one further away from you, my mum is a teacher and she hated it when her school was near the house as she couldn't step out for seeing kids, plus she always says its good to have a break from your place of work! Its amusing though how many of us seem to live very close to schools: you, me, soni...could be something in it! 

Ren - I don't believe that the sweets have been banned in your house, I bet if we came round we'd find some cakes hidden away!!!

Thiny aka thinendo... I think thiny is where it is at! I can't get over how much you have lost. I need to loose another 4 kgs so I need to come up with a few ideas. I've cut portion size and generally eating a lot less etc. Hoping I get there!

Maarias- thanks for the info, I had deluded myself into thinking that ICIS was like a mini IVF!! How silly am I!!

much love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Snow....thanks hun for that info..that will definitely help me in making my decsioni think ur right hun!!

Wow u guys live next door to a school too...wow! I wanted to ask...when the kids play outside..do u also feel that the kids are screaming..its a weird type of scream!!... lol lol its amazing! Any one else living nxt to a school?

Mawh


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## DreamTeam

Its kind of hard to explain, we live technically live one big house away from the school but the way the house is built and the location of flat that we live in the noise is buffered. Hard to explain, but I only remember I live next to school at 9am and 3:30 and occasionally if I go out at play time... all very strange bits!


----------



## DreamTeam

This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO strange  !!!

BTW I just read something on one of the other boards about giving up caffeine when TTC  has anyone done this


----------



## Godswill

Ren wow   whats going on  lol lol lol

Ok any more out there...? lol lol  

Snow...well im not much of a tea drinker or coffee. I have half a cup in the mornings..Mon to Fri...and on weekends will have 1 or 2 lattes no more than that!! Its strange ever since i got married i stopped drinking tea as much, as dh doesnt touch coffee or tea..!! I only drink it if at mums or with friends!! other wise wont bother at home!! ummmm  

However i did read that too much caffeine isnt good...Allah knows best. As i knwo many ppl who dabble in drugs, Alcohol, coffee, tea and still fall pregnant...so its what Allah wills hai!!


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all,

What is going on here - go away for a few days and so much to catch up on!!!

Snow - ICSI same as IVF process apart from them taking one sperm and injecting direct into egg - no difference to IVF in terms of drugs or any process!  I have never found it difficult at all...

Caffeine - yes they say to give it up but you can have one or 2 cups a day.  When i was imy 2ww i still had one cup a day as cannot go without my daily fix!  They will tell you to give everything up ladies... but if you think of all the women who give nothing up and get pregnant cant do us any harm!!!! 

Anyway with working in an office we have had cakes and sweet tins daily......  I tell you the amount of Qulaity sweets and Roses tins we have got through you could feed Africa!!  

I do not live near a school and am glad I do not ... could not take all the school runs and no parking would drive me mad 
Love to you all
ShahShah


----------



## stardust36

Salaams ladies!
Soooo much to catch up on! I haven't been on for ages..had an incredibly busy Eid and then dinners afterwards for various family who have come to visit..
Mash'Allah! What wonderful news for both Snowbelle and Godswill!      
Soni - Praying you find a great job soon..insh'Allah!  
Sister C - What's happening with your cycle? Any idea when you ovulated? Im sorry about your BFN   
Hope everybody else is well insh'Allah..
Im a bit confused about my BBT chart... I had a slow-rise in temps after ovulation so Im not sure which day I actually ovulated. My periods aren't regular even though I ovulated day 17 and day 15 of my last 2 cycles on metformin.. I had a temp drop after which my next temp was higher than the previous 6 temps, so I think I ovulated on the day of the temp drop. But the 'higher' temp was only 0.01 higher than 3 days previously. Thereon my temp slowly increased further. FF has put my ovulation day as the day after the temp drop... I know a day isnt really going to make a difference. Its just that I was able to BD 2 days consecutively before the temp drop which makes me feel better about the chances of conceiving this cycle... Im such a silly mooo..   I know you can still get pregnant from BD'ing at Ov-2.. Allah knows best and its better that I dont think about this too much! So basically Im on my two week wait..6 or 7 days into it... Normally I get tender breasts and a change in cm just before ovulation so I have a better idea of timing BD's (OPK's dont seem to work..I get negatives even when I get a clear thermal shift on my chart!) but this cycle my breasts were tender on and off and I didnt notice any particularly wet cm or any ewcm at all.... Please remember me in your prayers... The more time that goes on without having conceived, the more I worry that there is something else wrong with me that I dont know about.. I havent ever had a HSG or a laparoscopy or a test to check the suitability/acidity of my cm. And Im reluctant to bring up these issues with my DH because he'll become closed and withdrawn and think Im panicking..  He wont even go for a SA as he says if its normal he thinks I'll put more pressure on myself. But it puts more pressure on me to not know whether his SA is normal or not.. If we know either way, we can move forward. I cant stay on met forever and hope for the best.. Ive been on it for 6 months so far without any further investigations. My gynae wont consider further investigations on me until she gets a result for DH's SA...
Im praying that metformin works soon and that we dont need further investigations.. I dont want to rock the boat with my DH, he gets so impatient about all of this and says Im in a rush... It is a blessing that he doesnt put any pressure on me Alhumdulillah, I just want him to help me too... 
Had my rant.... 
Its a blessing I have you girls to talk to...
Lots of   to you all!!!
Stardust xxx


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## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dear sisters....  

Shahshaha i want some...send me some...my employees are soo tight....we haven't had anything come in....lol well everyone is planning on bringing in a dish/nibbles next week...so we can have a parting farewell..   lol

Stardust...im soo sorry ur going through all this reminded me of my early days. I pestered an d pestered my dh to go to the docs...as they wont test u until they test him first!! one time went to the docs and the doc suggested that it was too early for us and to come back. My hubby ran so fast one would think there was a fire...any how a year on i told him that my tests will be a lot more invasive and that all he has to do is one little sample and he doesn't even need to do it at the hospital he can do it at home, thats it!! So maybe u need to remind him of that!! Its hard for them i understand as their manhood is questioned...(not that i think it is...but u know what men are like) so do speak to him and remind him ur both going through it...ur pumping ur self with drugs for the past 6 months...u definitely need to remind him to do his part too

Any way take care

xxx


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## DreamTeam

Salams 
Just a quick one, got to dash!

The SA issue reminded me of the other night where I was bawling my eyes out swearing (I know this is pathetic) at my future offspring and DH comes along and says it'll be ok, I've been through my SA!!! I nearly went mad, it was like hello...and what have I been through since we got on this road. I've had all these people look inside of me, I've had injections and visited my menopause and now this and you have the gaul to say you've been through your SA!!!   Oh and then the male radiologist yesterday says holding my shoulder "see its not bad is it", again isn't that just like a man!!!
lol
End of men have it easy session!

See you later

Snowbelle


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## fozi

Salaam Ladies

I hope you dont mind me joining you?
I pop in now and then to read your posts, but up until now have just posted on the other threads.
I hope that you are all well.
Currently, i am waiting for AF to start so that i may start downregging for a  FET in late january inshallah.

i know this is a terribe way to introduce myself   but i am getting so fed up of everyone around me falling pregnant at the drop of a hat! ( i do realise that it is God's will)  ........it seems like the whole world is expecting right now!   and they seem to have now idea of the heartache the rest of us have to go through!

hope that i havent created too much of a bad impression on my first visit!  


Fozi


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## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dearest Fozi 

1st of all      and welcome to our humble abode....sad to speak to u in such circumstances but glad we can share it with you and like wise!

U have not in the slightest left a bad impression....we all can totally understand where u are coming from..i too feel like that...don't know if its become prominent since we have started ttc but most definitely we all feel the same way...

We all have good days and bad....just pop on here and let it out  

The others will be along soon they truly are a lovely bunch MashAllah!!

Do tell us more about ur self...were u are in regards to treatment etc...??

Take great care and speak soon


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## DreamTeam

Salams Fozi
Welcome to our little gang  ! Of course we don't mind you dropping in, you just should have done it sooner. AND no you haven't created a bad impression at all. We all have good days and bad days etc, I'm sure you've read some of the previous posts and thought OMG the drama queens!

Anyway welcome  

love

Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Salams Godswill,
Hows the last few days at work going
Did you reach a decision about which school to choose
love
Snowbelle


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## fozi

Salaam Godswill   and  Snowbelle 

Thankyou for such a warm welcome, it has really cheered me up, and i am also relieved at not scaring everyone off!!

As my signature explains, i had my first failed ivf treatment in september. was devastated,especially as i thought we had tried so hard to do everything right, i even reduced my working hours drastically (and i love my job)  however, we made a conscious decision not to dwell on the negative and tried to look to the future. 
after having a break from treatment, my drugs are sitting in the basket waiting for af to come so that i may start the sniffing and taking the meds!  

what about everyone else? anyone having FET soon?
Praying that everyone receives a BFP very soon!
      
Fozi


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## Godswill

Salam ladies....

Snow & Ren yup made a decision....i am going for the one near my hse...i know, i know....but the thing is the one further away there were parking issues...and i couldn't deal with that!! So its the one near my hse inshAllah! I am waiting for my contract to come in ...i will sign it and send of for it!!

Work....ummmm what work To be honest for the past couple of months its been a total doss!! lol lol internet surfing...chatting...eating....more chatting...wow how lucky i have been MashAllah... 

Like today i left early around 4.45 to go get my hair cut...found a shop that caters for hijabis...mashAllah...am pleased with it and it wasn't too expensive £40 for cut, colour and style!! its funny how i can never get it like the way they style it!!! ummmm

Ahh ren thats nice u had u and hubby time mashAllah.....its needed every now and then!! So where did u go to eat...wimslow rd...hai...

Snow...i cant believe ur hubby said that....lol.....men don't know the half of what we go through!! can u imagine if they ever had a period ...lol   ...as we all know went theyhave man flu...what a drama...lol lol  

Fozi...im sorry to hear of ur negative cycle....inshAllah...ur nxt cycle will be positive....When He thinks its right it will happen hun  

Any way love and duas to all the others


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## Godswill

Reeeeennnnn   

Jzk hun....i was thinking that earlier that i wont be able to chat as often ....im looking at it as a good think..less obsession..lol lol    hey off course i will be on to say salams....try and keep me away! lol lol

Umm hair....believe i have the worst hair in the world....and i mean it....u should see me in the mornings...lol lol afro queen! gorgeous i wouldnt quite put it like that....! hubby met up with friends after work...i am so hasnt seen it yet!! i will be popping out in a bit to pick him up IA!

i had to share this with u...i have a chocolate gateau in the fridge...yum yum!!


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## stardust36

Salaam!
A huge welcome   for Fozi, helllloooooooo!    Im sure you'll enjoy many hours chatting away with the lovely ladies on this site... Im sorry to hear your last IVF cycle wasn't successful.... InshAllah you will have a successful cycle... If you dont mind me asking, how old are you?
Godswill - Did you pray istikhara? May Allah make whatever job you choose good for you in every way..Ameen...
Im supposed to be ironing my hubby's clothes for Juma prayers but just thought id quickly pop in and say hi to everyone! Im addicted to this site already! 
Hey, just wanted to let you guys know that hubby and I had 'the chat' about his SA last night..after months of not discussing it. He told me his point of view and I told him mine. Im unfortunately not as articulate when I speak as when I write (!!!) but I think I got everything across. I said its not that I want him to have a SA RIGHT NOW, its just that if metformin isnt producing a BFP naturally, then we will have to do it in the near future before we can progress. He agreed that he would and we would wait until we return from our visit to England in March insh'Allah if nothing has happened naturally by then. I felt such a huge sense of relief!  Alhumdulillah! I wasnt even planning to bring it up..I just prayed hard and somehow this conversation took place!And Allah made it easy for me. Hubby hates tears and I was worried I would start crying but I didnt!!!!
Anyway, better go because Im late!!!!!
Lots of love to you all!


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaams to all my lovely sisters

Fozi- WELCOME!!!  Really sorry to hear about your 1st IVF cycle, but inshallah 2009 will be the year and your FET will go brilliantly and end up in a lovely BFP.  I will be starting my first IVF cycle in January IA and I found out yesterday that I'll be on the Antagonist (short) protocol.  My AF is due any minute (no sign whatsoever) and we'll IA start after January's AF starts.  

Godswill- Alhamdulillah you've come to a decision and sounds great that you'll literally roll out of bed and into the classroom!  

Stardust- really glad you feel better and that you've been able to lift a weight off your shoulders by having the talk you wanted to have.

Ren- makes me laugh how you managed to find the toblerone and have already sampled its delights!!!

Snow- I was really sore after my HSG too, hope you're not and that you're back to 'normal'.

Really hope everyone else is well.

As I've mentioned, we're not starting IVF this cycle (went to see our consultant yesterday) but as we're going to be on the short protocol rather than the long, the dates will virtually work out to be the same IA.  I keep fluctuating from really positive to really anxious in my thoughts.  Allah will do what is best, we just have to do our part and stay positive and continue to maintain our faith in Him.

Wishing you a lovely Juma.

Love,
Thinendometrium xox


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone  

Alhumdulilah I'm ok. I still have a tiny bit of bleeding still from the HSG, but nothing in comparison to zoladex, so all is good. When the gynae said some ladies bleed I just knew that was going to be me! I'm really surprised though how much my tummy bloated up after the procedure. It was massive. I wore the same t-shirt the next day to see and I was shocked because it came down again the but stretch left in the t-shirt was massive!!! I still feel quite 'delicate' around the actual area but the lady who did it, did it really nicely especially when I compare it to my GP's nurse who normally does the smear test. Think very very bitter old woman who really enjoys doing it horribly to first timers!   In fact even when I went to see her to get my dressings changed after my boob op, she was strange. She thought I'd had elective surgery on my boob and it was only when I said that it was to remove a lump that she softened up a bit...   
ou can put screen names to faces!

Ren - I'm just thinking about you and cakes  and you hunting round the house following your DH  saying 'give me the toblerone!!!    

Thiny (skinny) hope your AF isn't to bad and it turns up on time  

Soni - whats the new hair like 

love to everyone  

love

Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Gremlins!!!! 

I just reread my post and my comments to Godswill and Stardust have been eaten up!


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## Godswill

Salam ladies 

jumuah mubarak everyone  

Stardust...Allhumdulila u managed to speak to ur hubby...mashAllah  

Snow.....i am glad u are recovering well  

thiendo...hope Af arrives soon. i hate it when its late....!!

Ren...i cant believe u found the toblerone....ur soo funny  

soni thinking of u love


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## DreamTeam

Ok, I'm going to try again!

Godswill - Great news you came to a decision about the job. Inshallah it is the best one for you 

Stardust - great news as well about your DH having his SA. Is there no way he'll do it sooner?? Here nothing happens until the guy has had his SA. BTW why are you on metformin? Is it because you have PCOS? I only ask as you mentioned that you haven't had any internal scans or anything done yet... Also if you are going to be in London in March, we should have a meet up around then so that you can meet all of us etc

 no gremlins please!


----------



## soni

Salaam All and Jummah Mubarak,

I am Alhumdullilah in a very positive mood today after a very long time....................do u all think it has something to do with my new haircut?  

Godswill,  on ur new job......wooohooooooooo!!how is ur new hairstyledo u feel different afterwards??(I think I've gone crrrrrrrrrrazzzzzzzzy)

Ren,How r u and ur choccie cravingsI haven't had any chocolate since God knows when and have also given up my hot chocolates   but did have a blue berry muffin with leomnade yesterday....  .Although no effect on weight for some reason  .

Fozi, welcome aboard.........glad u have made decision about FET.It has been advised to me but me is ignoring treatment completely at the moment..............maybe next year I will be able to make some decisions IA.

Stardust,I will agree with Snow's idea of meeting up once u r here.........hope u r ok!!!

Shahshah, All the very best to u for ur next attempt which I think is coming soon..........  

Thinendometrium, Good luck to u too with ur next attempt.I find making decisions related to treatment really hard for some reason lately but gotta do it one day!!!!!

Well hols next week!!!!!!!!!It's going to be a very busy weekend.still need to do  some shopping........... but keeping myself really busy.I have started reflexology lately and found it very relaxing.

Love,
Sxx


----------



## Godswill

Salam ladies  

hey i am in a very funny mood today...i can feel af coming (i thinks its early)  feel sick....and am upset!! i know its one month after lap and dye...but i was hoping that may be had a good clear out and BANG....but...seems not the case..! inshAllah another 5/6 months to see if it worked!! Allah knows best!

O enough of the rant....

Soni.....u got ur hair cut too....i am happy with mine...... ,,,   dh liked it very much    i am glad u liked urs too...i know mine was a well deserved one...its nice to pamper one self! going for a facial nxt week...y not...i deserve it!! 
So nxt week is ur hol...wow time... has come round quick....pity its snowing...wow...would love to see pics when u get back!

Ren stop with the chocs.....stop girl.... lol lol i must say i did enjoy the chocolate gateaux and there is a box of roses ...i like the strawberry ones...yum yum   everytime i look at sweet things i think of u ...lol  

Stardust...yes we would love to meet u in March inshAllah...Ren do try ur best to come dwn in March...oh wow...im excited already...and it would be such a bonus if all of us are preggers...   oh and yes i did istikahar before i made a decision...  

Snow  

Iman, Kp, thin, all the others i cant think right now...big hug and


----------



## Godswill

Reeeennnn hun  

oh no im sorry ur not well hun....  

i wish it is i am preggers...but i know its not, as all symptoms are here   

oh well.....

what u up to this weekend? My dh's khala is coming from America...stop over as she is going Pak. Will be staying with us inshAllah...so we will be busy with them this weekend i suppose!


----------



## Iman

assalaamu alaikum girls!

Long time no chat - I know I know, sorry !  

Quick post as I know I have negelected this thread of late. Congrats to Snowbelle on the all-clear at the HSG and also congrats to Godswill on the new job!

Welcome to Stardust and Fozi! 

gotta dash but im always around insha'allah. No news from me, just dropping in to see how everyone is!

Much love to all

xx


----------



## northern gal

Salaam ladies

Do you mind if I join you? I'm new at this and have just gone through my 1st ICSI cycle. I was on my 2ww and was due to test on monday 22nd. Didn't get there as AF pains and spotting arrived yesterday.............I cried my eyes out all day. My DH and family didn't know what to do. They never expected me to respond the way I did..........I even cried when I saw the embryos before the ET!!

I can't believe this has happened as every single step was so perfect and the embryos were top of there class. I guess I should explain DH has had chemotherapy so has low sperm count and motility and all my tests were normal which is why I can't believe this has not worked. I feel it is all my fault now and feel such a failure.......

I've spent a lot of time on this site and seen how supportive it is and I really need some right now (I'm crying as I write).

I live up north in Lancashire hence called myself northern gal!!

Thanks for listening girls.

Northern gal xx


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
Well we finally had our follow on appt. with our consultant to find out what happened. It seems that I should have been referred to him by the midwife when she booked me in, as my previous pregnancy was pre-term as well and so I was high risk, and she didn't. He would have monitored me much more closely...I am furious to say the least   . The consulant was very apologetic about the 'system'. DH thinks I am completely mad and wants us to look to the future, but I've been up since 4.30 finding out how to make a complaint about the midwifes involved and the hospital. I'd be quite happy to sue them as well...it won't bring our little bubba back but it'll definitely make me feel better    .

Sorry ladies, I'm in my angry at the world phase at the moment  

Everyone seems so convinced that I'm going to get another bfp except for me. I'm so scared that this is never going to happen again...please please say dua for me ladies    

Sorry for no proper personals, but I'll try to catch up over the next few days.

Mx


----------



## Godswill

Salam ladies...

I pray everyone has a good weekend inshAllah...

Welcome Northerngal....indeed u have come to the right place. Ur post made me   I'm sorry it didn't work out for u this time...but the qadar of Allah is just....plz remain   inshAllah it will happen nxt time...u take ur time and deal with it how u want.....come on here and tell us what u want...we are good listeners mashAllah  

Ren...wow u have a neighbour at long last mashAllah  

Maarias....im soo sorry u found out what u did...and u have everyright to feel the way u do....i would too! But also remember it also was the will of Allah....im pray i haven't upset u...there is khair in everything my love! My friend always reminds me...about the story of kidr and musa (as) when khidr killed the young boy...and musa questioned him, it was said that, that child would have grown up to be ungrateful/tyrant....even Allah says in surah Baqarah that (paraphrase) that what we think is good for us is bad for us, and what we think is bad for us indeed is good for us....so my sister take comfort in these words. It also applies to me too...i am struggling big time...just keep crying!!

Sister plz make dua for my niece...she had her baby yesterday a boy mashAllah. She has 2 other kids mashAllah. However she suffered form placenta acretta. She was told she would have to have a hysterectomy...which was meant to be a 20min ended up being 4hours. She has lost a lot of blood. Please please remember her in ur duas....shes only 27! Allahs mercy superseeds His wrath.

Allah hu Akbar

take care my lovelies

xxx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam girls

WELCOME NORTHERN GAL. Am so sorry to hear you're jo inining us at a very very difficult time. You've done the right thing by finding a venue to speak your mind and take some of the weight off your shoulders.  I pray that all is well and that next time will be THE TIME for you IA.

Maarias- sorry you're so upset about system breakdown, but I think Godswill's words are full of wisdom for all of us. Hope you're cooled down and less upset now.

Ren- hope you're feeling better and that it didn't develop to food poisoning.

Godswill- I am praying very hard for your niece. May Allah be with her and hasten her rercovery.  Subhan Allah, how the birth of a perfectly formed child can still be coupled with so much turmoil.  Allah must love her and wishes to test her in a way he knows she is able to handle.

There is still no sign of my AF and I was getting really angry and fed up prior to coming on to the thread, but needless to say that it's all been put into perspective.  AF will turn up when Allah wills it and hence my next AF (which is when treatment is due to start) will also start when Allah deems it to be the best time.

Hope everyone else is well.

Wishing you all a great weekend.

Hugs,
Thinendometrium xox


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam

Ren, glad to hear you're better. Am 3 days late. Usually on time, like clockwork. No symptoms of AF coming (except really angry at the world), which is out of character, but am not going down the hpt path as I know it's impossible for things to happen naturally- I saw the pictures of my tubes from the laparoscopy- they're properly blocked where they connect to the uterus- no chance any swimmers are going to pass through those barriers.

But you know what? I am such an eternal optimist, there's a small niggling thought in the back of my head ............thinking 'what if'............how silly.

Just want it to come now so I can move on and concentrate on next month and the treatment IA.

Sorry this is such a self-centred post.

Lots of   to all,
thinendometrium


----------



## Godswill

Salam Thin (   )

Hun all i can say is (ur words) only Allah cam make the impossible possible...so hun it could be ur pregnant inshAllah......(dont mean to give u false hope) alll i am saying is u never know hun....Allah is the best of planners.  

Ren..thanks/jzk for ur pm...means a lot....if u were here i would give u a strawberry chocolte sweet (quality sweet) its sitting infront of me...lol lol


love and uas ladies!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Ladies,
Just finished watching strictly come dancing   and I'm a bit   its finished!!! 

Anyway, where are my manners A massive welcome to our new Northerner, Northern Gal  , I bet Ren is delighted that you are here. Sometimes I worry that we are turning her in to a southern softie!   

Maarias -   things are never easy especially as you have this extra information to hand. I would complain, if for nothing else but to expel some of the anger that you have towards the midwife  . Having harboured so much anger towards my fracture clinic doctor (you may remember him as the imbecile      ), I finally received a reply to my complaint which says that he did nothing technically wrong but which did pull him up on not offering/discussing pain relief with me. What I am trying to say is that while you know you have been wronged you may not get a response that acknowledges their oversight. Are you strong enough to cope with that?   For me, complaining really helped channel my anger at the time. In the long term I'd still like to put him in fracture clinic without pain medication, coupled with the inability to say his name without the prefix imbecile I wouldn't say I've let go of things but I've definitely moved on. Sometimes the pain never goes away but things get better - I'm not going to get my months of being stuck on crutches back, but I'm enjoying walking now if you follow. Inshallah things will get easier for you  . Another really important thing to hang on to is that alhumdulilah you've been pregnant twice, which means you can get pregnant, please don't loose sight of the positive.

lots of love to everyone!

love
Snowbelle


----------



## northern gal

Salaam girls,

Thankyou for your warm welcome.

Sometimes I just feel that my life on this earth is just cursed...........I have been tested so many times that I am so tired of Allahs

tests...........I know its a bad thing to say but in the last 7 years I have lost my dad (heart attack), my mum (brain tumour) and this 

year my beloved brother (leukaemia). Now I am faced with yet another test......sometimes it gets too much and just for a brief

moment I have to question why before I can turn to my faith again to give me the strength to carry on.

Can't believe that i have to carry on with the cyclogest pessaries either and the pregnancy test........such a waste of time!! Anyway 

I am booking a review appointment for next week to find out why this has happened and when we can go again........luckily we had

7 embryos frozen. I am becoming stronger again to carry on this fight........

Hi Ren.....we live in Preston but are having treatment at Care Manchester...I just keep questioning what I might have done wrong, although

DH has been great and very supportive.

Love and best wishes 

Northern gal xx

PS sorry I have gone on a bit I just needed to get it off my chest


----------



## Godswill

Salam ladies...

Northerngal....ina lilahi wa ina ilahi rajioon.... (from Him we come and to Him we return) i am soo sorry to hear of the pain u have gone through...may Allah continu to give u stregnth...Ameen as Ren said Allah never burdens a person with more then they can bear. U have been soo brave and mashAllah i am happy to know that ur fighting on...ur on here ur still fighting mashAllah. Truly u are a brave person. The people that are tested the most are more beloved to Allah..and ur one of them. His mercy superseeds His wrath my dear! InshAllah u will be rewarded in this dunya as wel as the akhira....
my dua for u is...on the day of judgement when mother will not care for their children, husbands wont care for their wives....ur patience inshAllah will shine above all.....plz dont loos hope!

Ren, plz dont stress ur self over clomid...inshAllah it will all go ok for u!  

Snow....strictly... lol thank God i couldnt get into that programme! how ar u..?

Love and duas


----------



## flame

salams 2 all sisters, 

well im new to ff and i saw this thread and read through quite a few posts, i hope and  all goes well for all and me!!

well my story is that i have been married for over 6 years and weve been trying to concieve ever since. ive had blood tests, smear tests, swabs etc and all have come clear!  

however, my DH was asked to do a SA, which took him ages to go through with then finally he did do but   unfortunately the result came back as no sperm but the doc advised us to re-do it but he said we have no hope other than a donor  
after that my DH was really put off doing another SA and i was really upset and i guess so was he.  i had this awfull feeling in my gut that i will never be able to have children, and it wasnt something i could discuss with any1 cos it would be like shaming my husband.
i then was searching on the net and read that there are still other possibiliteis like icsi or blockages etc so i decided it was time to change docs and re start tx again. so again i went through blood tests etc which all came back clear and my husband had to do a SA, which he did do but wasnt enough to test (cos i think he was stressed).  So now we have booked a SA on the 5th jan. 
 for us girls and thanx for listening

flame


----------



## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dearest flame....  

 

Welcome to our board.....sorry to hear about ur dh's SA.....but inshAllah the next SA will be a good one.    

The girls here are lovely and inshAllah will soon come along to give U a warm welcome.

Take care inshAllah speak soon


----------



## ShahShah

Salam to you all,

Welcome to flame and Northern gal - hope you are both weel.

Northern gal - do not give up as i've done ICSI twice now and am planning to go again in Jan 09.  My friend who is a GP reckons that drs should just be honest and admit that it can take up to 3 attempts for your body to get used to IVF/ICSI before it works hence some countries offer it free up to 3 times!!!  I know its not fair here!  

Snow & Ren - dont worry now that SCD and X are over we can look forward to Dancin on Ice!!!!!  I love all this crap telly!    

Hope everyone is well and my duas and salam to you all xx


----------



## northern gal

Salaam sisters,

A big welcome to flame........I am also newto ff and found the girls very welcoming and supportive which I must thank them for and send them all big hugs too. (Can't seem to get the smiley icons to work yet)

With regards to your situation there is a surgical procedure for getting to the sperm....maybe this might be a option for you??

Decided to go to the Trafford Centre in Manchester today.........to treat myself, but every way we turned we seemed to have a baby in our face so came home empty handed but with a renewed effort and determination to get what we want so much to make our life complete.

Northern gal xx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam gals

Flame- WELCOME on board! Def worth finding out the cause behind the sperm count as there's a whole host of possible treatments out there and   that next SA result is more positive.

Northern Gal- I am so sorry for all your losses, but reading your story just proves to me over and over that Allah must love you very very much.  There is a hadith that says that you know a Mu'min (one of the Faithful) by the magnitude of troubles in his/her life he/she has to endure.  You are doing fantastically well moving forward and keeping a positive attitude- you really are an inspiration to all of us and a boost to our own determinations.

Ren- sorry you had bad day at work yest. Hope your takeaway was good!

On my side of things, still no AF despite it being 5 days late now.  Funny how it has a mind of its own and when you do want it to turn up, it's stuburn!

Hope everyone has a good beginning to the week.

Thinendometrium xox


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum lovely ladies,
I've got to go and see the vampire   to get my day 21 bloods done  

I hope everyone is ok, salams and a big welcome to the new ladies: Flame and Country Bumpkin, everyone here is so fantastic  

lots of love

Snowbelle

PS
I'll write a better post later


----------



## flame

slms 2 all

AND A BIG JZKALLAH for all the welcomes!!! 

ren: please tell me more about the vits?

gotta dash gotta go 2 work!!

catch u all l8r 
wasalam
   2 all


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone  ,
Just back from seeing the vampire , as usual they were totally unable to find any veins. The memorable quote of the day was "its like as if you have no veins!!!". Other than that not much going on in my world. My fridge has decided to die (again)  , which was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO crap, as we had people round for dinner and I cooked way too much food. The really annoying thing is I'm sure it died this time last year...maybe it just doesn't like Christmas 

Flame - great to see you back here - 

Soni - was so lovely to see guys last night  

Maarias - hoping that you are staying strong and focusing on your LO, and inshallah looking to the future  

Thiny(skinny) - any news on   ? I'm sure AF will turn up when you least expect. But having said all that as Ren has said, maybe you should do a test? Inshallah it could be!!!! If it was me I'd be sat there saying its going to turn up so there is no point in testing and wasting the money on a test. I'm sure I've spent tons on tests, only for it to turn up an hour after. Then I feel so stupid  . Anyway we don't know the will of Allah (swt) and inshallah it could be... 

Ren - hun so pleased we've got some more northern lasses' for you to natter with, maybe you can organise a northern meet'up' (trying to say up in the lanc accent)  

Shasha - don't do it girly!!! Stay away from reality shows! It gets so invasive. I only allow myself one reality tv show addiction per year. So thats me done!  

Fazi - Hope you are looking forward to a few days at home with your little darlings  

Godswill - missing you already (in anticipation of you not being able to surf all day), have you done your last day at work

Stardust, Iman, KP, Tanisha, Northern Lass, Fozi AND everyone else  

love
Snowbelle
xx


----------



## Saffysmom

Salaams to everyone on this thread. It`s nice to chat to fellow muslims sisters who are experiencing IVF. I think i am entering the guiness book of records ........

Last week i was walking around with a poncho, it was just all the drugs and the bloatedness that gave me a bit of a belly but i was proud of it, didnt mind the weight gain, bad skin, etc that comes with the drugs.But now it`s over the poncho has gone back in the closet.  This waiting game is driving me nuts, i was in such despair yesterday that i went crazy looking at adoption sites, but that is not easy either. The drilling , the questions, the investigations the local authorities put you thru makes me wanna got thru ivf again.

Anyone else looked into adoption?

Who is having treatment @ Care Manchester? thinking about switching as i have had 3 goes with them and 2 goes with MFS in manchester. I`m so desperate i`ve even looked at gong abroad so they can put 3, 4, or even 5 back in just so I can do it all in one go. At least one of those will stick.

Is anyone at ARGC? if so how is your treatment going, as I am considering it, but soo bloody expensive?might need to rob a bank.

My husband has suggested we go on Umrah in March , as we need to be closer to Allah and drift away during times of hardship. This has bought me to my knees. 

Any suggestions??////

Sending you loads of love ladies

take care for now

Yaz.

xxxxxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Countrybumpkin - I considered ARGC too and then when I saw my consultant he was so against immune testing ( Iknow it works for lots out there) so am not sure now, plus cost of it all is too much as I have had no NHS funded cycle!  

I have looked at going abroad and Turkey is an option, cheap and they do transfer more embies, plus looked at India where apparently a lot of women from USA go, they have a high success rate due to multiple embryo transfer!

I am so annoyed as I just realsied I forgot to go and have my blood test and now am due to start my next ICSI with next AF!!!!!!!   

I told my DH to remind me, the best way I deal with all of this is to forget I am on these treatments and just go with the flow   It helps, I just go about my normal routine, work going out even my Acupunturist could not believe I was not stressing!!!  The hardest time is the 2ww.  If this does not work next time I will defo look at abroad as one will have to stick then!!!

Love to you all xx


----------



## Iman

Salaams to all the girlies and big welcome to the newbies countrybumpkin and flame

I have a stinking cold and AF is in residence, waking me up at 4 in the morning with cramps and feeling like I was flippin' haemoraghing (sp?!) !  Cycle was a bit doo-lally this month due to flu.

Saw some friends last night and their gorgeous 8month old and 2 year old boys - who they have conceived in the time we have been trying. Endured soe questions about when we gonna have kids   as if I dont want them or something ?! What is wrong with people? Cant they see the way my face changes when they ask me these things ? How hollow my answer sounds I never was any good at poker!! 


Im really looking forward to january, a new year a new start insha'allah. I really hope we can make some progress this year towards establishing ourselves better as a family - with a bigger place and starting adoption insha'allah. I am haunted a lot by thoughts of how everyone in our family will react when we tell them we are adopting - most of them wont understand and will simply ask "why?" I dont know whether to tell them the truth, tell them we have unexplained IF , or just tell them we simply wanted to adopt. Im dreading their faces and the questions - especially if it comes out what we have been dealing with in secret all this time. I know some people will ask why we didnt tell them and they wont understand. I know people will give me pity looks and sympathy which I dont want at all!! How am I going to deal with telling them all?? I feel like we have a secret and in order to have happiness, it will have to come out....Id rather just adopt in secret and run off with DH somewhere!!  Some people in the family/culture still under the false impression that adoption is haram ( why??!?) and dish out 'fatwas' as if their 2-second knowledge of it constitutes research.........aah Im getting worked up just thinking of it!!

Trying to always remember to be grateful for all our tests no matter how hard they are.....one day we will be rewarded. It pains me to see so many sisters on here now going through the same things..   ...why is this happening to us?? Only Allah swt knows. Must trust in his infinite wisdom and his promise of reward alhamdulillah.........

onwards and upwards!!! Bring on 2009!! Things can only get better hey girls?? Insha'allah Insha'allah Insha'allah...    I am humbled by this experience if nothing else , as it makes me realise how much I have learnt and how far I have come and how much at the mercy of Allah we are. 

Much love and du'a 

xxx


----------



## Maarias

Salam ladies,
Just read a few personals so wanted to say hi quickly:
Iman: I can understand what you're saying about adoption - it's all the questions from people who know you already that are the hardest to deal with...   

Countrybumpkin: just read your profile and think ARGC might be worth a look given your immune issues. Otherwise I know CARE do deal with immunes as well. Might be worth posting on the immunes thread for more info...lots of girls there know all the ins and outs of the different clinics. I've done a fresh and frozen cycle at ARGC - for a fresh you're looking at around 10K, that's without IVIG... 

Will log on again shortly, ds is screaming downstairs  

Mx


----------



## Maarias

Right where was I:
yes, immunes: Lister deals with these as well, but not as aggressively as ARGC - cost-wise it works out about the same though...

Shahshah: Turkey and India sounds interesting - would be interested to know which clinics are out there...

Mx


----------



## northern gal

Salaam and   girls,

Iman - I agree good riddance 2008 and can't wait to start 2009!

Country bumpkin - all I can say about Umrah is that it is an amazing and humbling experience. The feeling you experience is one that you cannot describe and and all you want to do is sit and pray all day long...this comes from someone who only learnt to pray just before she went to umrah!!!!

Today has been and unusual day - full of questions as to what I might have done wrong for implantation not to have occured.

Then considered adoption of a muslim child from abroad - can take years and just as costly as IVF!!

Then thought of changing clinics - Bourne Hall in Cambridge (worked in Cambridge until last year can you believe it!!) which has a very high success rate.

But I have 7 frozen embryos at Care in Manchester so will have to stay until those have been taken care of!

Then spoke to a friend in Cambridge who had her first cycle of IVF at 41.......only managed to get 1 embryo which was transferred....and guess what she has a gorgeous 5mth old baby boy. She reckons only a small percentage take first time round for most it takes a few cycles.......it gave me a little hope.

Booked my review for the new year and can't wait to try again.

Love and  

northern gal xx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam girls

WELCOME Countrybumpkin!

Umrah is a fantastic idea and Allah showers his blessings on those who make an effort to visit the Ka'ba.  I've been on Haj and Umrah alhamdulla and I can honestly tell you that Allah really does make impossible things POSSIBLE on your return.

If anyone does go to Umrah, please don't forget all of us in your prayers.

Lots of love to all,
thinendometrium x

ps- no sign of AF STILL.  But def no early pregnancy symptoms either!  Just stressed out so much that scared AF away!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
I woke up this morning feeling really horrible. Fortunately I did go to my GP yesterday and get more antibiotics but it all feels yuk! The worst bit is I was feeling really healthy before my HSG and between yesterday I've been feeling very sore and infection down below....boooooo! 

Thiny - I think you should be brave and do a test, alternatively if AF has not arrived by a certain day then test on that date. You never know...   

Northern Girl - initially when DH and I were getting no where on the TTC route, DH and I did a lot of research into adoption of a muslim child from here and from abroad. Yes it is expensive if you try from abroad but you are pretty much guaranteed a very tiny baby that would in some circumstances be guaranteed a life on a rubbish dump  . Adoption here of muslim children does exist. A person that I know of managed to adopt a little boy (2) and little girl (3), after their parents died in a car crash and they had no relatives here . Alhumdulilah the way they've fitted into their new family one would never realise that they weren't their own! What is surprising though is the number of muslim children who are in care due to cultural hang ups regarding children who through no fault of their own have no parents... DH and I are seen as 'complicated' as we are a 'dual heritage' (hate social worker speak), and they wanted us to guarantee we wouldn't have our own children for a set number of years. As a result of that we've decided to see where we are with TTC first and then regardless of the outcome will inshallah one day adopt.

Iman - Sorry to hear that you feeling so fed up of 2008. Unfortunately I know exactly how you feel! I'm sure if I worked it out I've seen, on average, a member of the medical profession at least once a week! Thats not on: 2 operations, 4 treatments, 2 procedures, 
I've visited 6 departments of outpatient clinics and I'm not even thinking about my physio/hydro or my GP. Yes! Bye bye 2008, so long.    let me beat it retrospectively. Alhumdulilah we have survived and inshallah that means that something good is waiting just around the corner in 2009         

Soni - are you all packed for las vegas 

Love to everyone, I'm going to crash on the sofa  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies..

I hope IA you are all well.. despite having to undergo the trials as to why we are all here..

Sorry for being absent.. I am not and read/catch up with you ladies every day - I just can't keep myself away.. but don't have much to say so just chuckle at your funny stories, or feel sad for the sad stories.

Welcome to all the new sisters on here, Stardust, Country Bumpkin, Northern Gal, Fozi (soory if I have missed anyone) I hope IA that you and everyone else here get your dreams come true.

AH, I can't believe how much faith is in you sisters, despite everything. Every now and then I have niggling questions regarding my faith.. but Subhan Allah, here you all are, devout and giving guidance to each other. Its great to see/read and very uplifting when we feel really down with our 'lot'.

I would also to concur, Umrah is sooo fantastic.. I remember when I went, prob about 10 years ago, they say pray for something when you first see the Kaaba, and I did try but the most I was able to think was - "Is this it? Is this the thing that the whole world bows down to 5 times a day?" - but when the time came to leave 2 days later, I was crying my eyes out, that Allah SWA take me there and then so that I could be buried within the grounds of this most lovely site and never have to leave His House.. I yearn to go to Haj.. IA DH has promised that as soon as we have cleared our mortgage, (and AH it is not too big now), we will go, as he doesn't feel it right to go on Haj with a debt..

With regards to Adoption. Haraam It is one of the best things a person can do is look after an orphaned child - 
*Worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents and to kindred and to orphans and the needy, (Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #83)* and the orphan has been mentioned 23 times..

the only thing I would say is that in Islam, the child is never your child, as it is in British law, ie I believe S/he should not change their last name etc.. also something to think about is, I assume they are non-mahrem.. so mothers/sisters would have to wear hijaab in front of adopted boys, and adopted girls would have to wear hijaab with father/brothers? 

With regards to the vits.. Ren is right, you must make sure you have plenty of Zinc and Selenium.. if that is low, then the body may simply reject a fantastic embryo.. saying that I had been taking loads and loads of Zinc/Selenium with loads of other things.. and my 3 grade 1 embryos did not implant 

Thats all from me folks - if I don't get a chance to write again (I am off from 24th - 2Jan) - have a fab time off 
Fazworld


----------



## flame

slms 2 all sisters,
regarding the UMRAH topic- i think its a wonderful idea 

i know of 2 couples who were finding it difficult to concieve and they went for umrah/hajj and came back pregnant
(of course its all in the hands of ALLAH) but its worth a try going and praying to the one and only almighty to accept ur prayers. I.A.    

if any1 is fortunate enuff to go then pray for all the sisters (muslim and non muslim alike) for there wishes to come true.  AMEEN!

Ren- thanx for the vits advice!!  my DH hasnt had any blood tests as of yet its hard enuff gettin him to do the SA. maybe after the SA they mite refer us to a speacilist or something.
i got him to take zinc b4 but he kept saying it makes him feel sick and he stopped takin em, mayb a multi vit mite taste b8r!

northern gal- hope ur feeling b8r

all other sisters -hope ur well am praying for u all

1 more thing Should i be taking zinc and selenium too? or any vits?


----------



## FazWorld

ASA Flame,

re the VITs, you should make sure you take plenty of Folic, Loadsa Zinc and loadsa Selenium, plus all the other concocttions you normally get in the pre-preg type packs.

Apparently the zinc and Selenium are most vital tho..If you want to do it in the right proportions, go to Foresight Preconception (Google it!) and they can give you some info..

Hope that helps.

Have a good break everyone and may Allah SWA shine his blessings and mercy on us all. 
Fazworld


----------



## Godswill

Salam sisters...

i pray u are well and in good imaan IA....

How u guys enjoying the break....i am busy cleaning, washing etc....the never ending chores!!

Allahumdulilah...i am a lady of leisure....i start my new job inshAllah on the 26/01/09...we are off to Pakistan on the 9th so until then i am chilling...wow...a long deserved break Allhumdulila  

Take care ladies inshAllah speak soon


----------



## Saffysmom

salaam ladies ,been away for a few days to clear my head , the pain does not go away! At one point in my life I'd be the first one there for the sale season , in hope of a bargain but now all desire hope and happiness enthusiasm joy for life has all diminsed . I'm just bitter twisted and angry . I have cut myself off from the rest of the world it's my way of protecting myself - 
I need a new mind, and body the one I've got is  knackered....feel like a 90 year old 

Hope those that are testing get a bfp ! 

I'll be back with my rants and raves in January 
Love to all
Yaz x


----------



## flame

slms sisters

countrybumpkin- i knw how u feel. going to the sales doesnt help much!!
all the women at work go on about going to the next sales early in the morning cos u get all the right and nice stuf for your kids and blah blahh blah so it puts me off going cos ..... then i think well i dont have kids so theres no point going...  

sometimes little things really get me down and other times i can handle them better.. i'm sure u all understand.. i think i'm going on a bit now ... oops

take care all sisters and jzks for all the advice

ing for u all 

w/s


----------



## Godswill

Salam sisters...

Country bumkin, time is the best healer hun...inshAllah focus on the good things and the rest will fall into place....u have been through a lot but in time u will get there....

Flame...ur right we all have good days and bad...min are always when AF is near...and then i look back and think how stupid i was....LOL...i guess human nature hai!

Ren....wow roast yesterday...yum yum   its nice to catch up with fam isnt it!

Everyone elsehope ur all ok and enjoying the break  

Speak soon

xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Just had a lovely 'Mummy and Me' day. Mr Snow was having kittens yesterday while we were talking about going to the sales, and then I turned around said "its ok you aren't invited"   to which he roared with laughter said that it was fantastic and hoped we had a good time!    My poor DH hates shopping full stop! Anyway we didn't really buy anything but had a nice time drinking coffee followed by lunch out     Sadly   we have to go back tomorrow as we needed (??) to have a look in John Lewis and they were closed today!

Inshallah the 'holidays' aren't getting to everyone. DH was a bit gutted when he spoke to his mum on Christmas morning; she was having champagne at 10am and gave that as the (casual) justification as to why she would never be muslim  ...inshallah Allah(swt) will break open the chains on the hearts of the disbelievers and show them the beauty of Islam before it is too late.

Alhumdulilah I'm ok, I still have the residue of a urinary infection (thanks HSG people  ) but getting there. I'm really praying inshallah that in 2009 I'm healthy and not as unwell as I have been this year. I'm actively not thinking about TTC, I think! LOL! But instead trying to focus my energy on getting a job so that should help take my mind off things!

Lots of love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters

it would be good if we could all meet up in chat sometime
do any of you sisters go on chat, ive been a couple of times its pretty good

flame


----------



## northern gal

Salaam girls,

Been away from this site for a few days needed time out from the pain of all of this..........I know what you are going through countrybumpkin. Time is the only healer hun........

After the initial pain and hurt that I felt of   I now have decided the only way forward is to be positive and to be proactive in looking for answers as to why it was the result I got?? What can I do differently to get the result I want? I am getting on a bit so I cannot afford to waste time not doing anything to get what I want so so much. So the fight goes on .......does all this make sense girls

I have read and a doctor friend of mine has told me caffeine can be the cause of preventing implantation so at the moment I am trying to cut out caffeine in preparation of our next round of treatment!!!

So good luck girls and I hope Allah gives you all the strength and determination to carry on your fight.... 

Love and best wishes

northern gal xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Northern Girl,

Sorry to hear of the hard time that you have been having, inshallah it will get easier and things will turn around  

Where is everyone Ok, Soni went to Vegas but it looks like everyone went in her suitcase!!!

Much love to everyone

Love

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaams to all

I'M HERE!!! Wish I went in ANYONE'S suitcase.....so can be AWAY from here and from reality and from work........

Sorry Flame and Northern Gal for your lows, time is a healer and IA you will feel better in time.

I finally had time to go shopping yesterday.  I bought a really nice gown but have no where to wear it! It was a nice colour and a nice shape, so I tried it on (the last one!) and I could fit into size 12 with no difficulty! Very exciting!

Lots of love to all and HAPPY NEW YEAR.  May 2009 be full of dreams becoming a reality.

Thinendometrium x


----------



## flame

slms sisters,
hope and   everyions well!!

ren- to go ont o chat click on chat at top of page then click on enter chat room this will open a new page where you can chat to people but u might need to download java - its free try it then we can all plan a time and join at the same time i.a

take care all sisters


----------



## KittenPaws

Just thought id pop in and say salaam to everyone. I miss you guys and hope all is well. Dont get much time these days to come on here.

Lots of love and salaam always

KP


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone  

Isn't it cold today   but lucky me I had my new coat on so was snug as a bug! I'm not up to much. I gearing up for AF, so hoping that it will come and go without event. Seems like the last 2 weeks has TMI been about my nether regions. I just want it all to feel normal which it hasn't since I had the infection. Also my stomach is quite out of sorts since having 2 weeks of very strong anti biotics  ... but alhumdulilah its all ok  

KP - how you doing hun? Have you and DH finally bought a few things for your bambino  

  to everyone, back to the job hunt for me

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
I just picked up my repeat CD 21 progesterone test results and it says:

ovulation occured but may indicaate poor follicular development with luteal insufficiency in this cycle"   

Does anyone know what this means I couldn't see my GP so was unable to ask, I'm going to go and google this and see what they say...

Ren - sorry to hear you are getting the flu   hope you feel better soon

lots of love

Snowbelle - loving the cold xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Ren,
Thanks for that, I looked it up on the internet and seems that they can give you a pill or a cream for it. I should really go and see my GP as I don't have my appointment with my consultant until March. Also I suppose it would mean that the GP could re-test before then etc.

Don't get me wrong I'm wandering outside in a t-shirt or anything. Yes I feel the cold, but I do enjoy   wearing a coat, hat, scarf and gloves and being outside. I really love weather like today where it is very cold and crisp but the sky is bright and blue. Add in some sunglasses and it is the perfect weather!

much love  

Snowbelle


----------



## northern gal

Salaam girls,

Snowbelle - are you an eskimo by any chance  I agree with ren a warm hot climate is my preferred choice tooooo!!! Having said that I did go out running this morning - I must be mad!!!

Ren - sorry to hear you have the flu, sending you   and  and hope you feel better soon.

We are off to London to see in the New Year - it is going to be freezing, so think we might end up in that new shopping place Westfield place (will have to make sure DH puts his wallet in his pocket as somehow he always seems to leave it on the table and remembers when we are miles away from home!!!), then dinner somewhere nice and then the fireworks cuddled up with DH. I know what I will be wishing for!!

Good luck and best wishes for the new year girls hope it will be a happy one for you.

Speak soon

Love and  

Northern gal xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams 

Ren - hope your feeling better now . My DH seems to have come down with something too, so he is at home today. Quite upsetting for him as he has lots of work to do and has plans to go and see some friends over the weekend. I'm definitely going to send you some sun!

Northern Girl - Sounds like you have a fun weekend in my world! Make sure you back some warm clothes as it is very cold and the night time temperatures are -4    especially if you are outside watching the fireworks.

Inshallah the new year brings everyone good health, inshallah all our dreams come true and inshallah there are lots of healthy births on this board    

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters

well what can i say yesterday was 1 of my worst days ever, and to get it off my chest here goes...
i was at work till 12pm i got home and my MIL tells me that my sis in law (brothers sister) has had a baby boy.. so at  first i was so happy for her well.. you see shhes epileptic and she had a rough pregnancy so i was happy she had an easy delivery and a healthy baby..

then off i went to town to grab a few gifts and flowers then me and DH went to hosp and there it hit me a whole load of mixed emotions i was angry at myself for not being able to produce what she had.. and at the ssame time i was trying not to show her how i felt....

after the hospital i had to go bak to work so i 4got alll bout it till .... i came home the phone kept ringing every1 callin to congratulate my mil, every1 talkin bout who he looks like etc..... 

all this time i had a deep pain inside me (dont get me wrong iwas happy for her) but i cant help the way i feel..
and i couldnt talk or look at my husband cos i felt angry with him too and that wasnt fair cos i know this must be hard for him too when his younger sister has just given birth... so when i knew he was fast asleep i cried BIG BIG TEARS                  i couldnt help it they kept trickling down my cheeks but i had to let it out

im sorry if ive hurt any1s feelings bt i cant share how i feel with any1 so it helps to pour out my heart and all truths here.. because its a DH thing i cant discuss it with any1 cos it would shame him so this way i feel b8r 
thanx 2 all who took time to read my sob story

hope all sisters with the flu recover quickly and all sisters are in best health

w/s


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Flame   
Don't worry about letting out here. This is probably the best place to let out, because everyone understands and everyone has had at least one moment of feeling really hurt/pain when someone else has managed to give birth. Inshallah you will get through this and inshallah it will happen for all of us...inshallah all the children without families will find their families and inshallah all the families without children will get their children .

Alhumdulilah, over the past few days switching on the TV is a constant reminder of how much we have in our lives and how safe we are. To even try and comprehend what it must be like to hear a bomb land on your house and then to find that you are alive and safe but that five of your darling, precious children have been killed is beyond everything. Inshallah we should try and take stock of what we have and inshallah our paths to motherhood will be cleared, ameen. Inshallah those who live under the pain of war will have peace.



love
Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

Just a quick little post to help lift everyone's spirits. I've just been through some of the older threads (sad I know) and noticed that some of the ladies who posted in part 1 are pregnant or have given birth: amberjade, seaweed and angelic. So alhumdulilah it shows it does happen, and more importantly there have been BFP's on this thread and inshallah it will happen  

Lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

Happy new year- islamic new year and otherwise!! Hope 2009 is our year insha'allah

Please make du'a for my cousin's little boy, 2 years old, in hospital tonight to have his appendix out  Insha'allah he has a speedy recovery as he is really not very well   

Snow: " Alhumdulilah, over the past few days switching on the TV is a constant reminder of how much we have in our lives and how safe we are. To even try and comprehend what it must be like to hear a bomb land on your house and then to find that you are alive and safe but that five of your darling, precious children have been killed is beyond everything. Inshallah we should try and take stock of what we have and inshallah our paths to motherhood will be cleared, ameen. Inshallah those who live under the pain of war will have peace. " ( dunno how to do the quote thingy)

this is very true sister.....very well put masha'allah...May Allah swt bring his Justice on all those who deserve it and an end to the suffering , Ameen. May He keep us all grateful for all that we have, ameen.

pop back soon - Im keeping an eye on you all! 

xxxx


----------



## northern gal

Salaam girls,

Just got back from London - am exhausted!! Had a really good time though, there was such a lovely atmosphere with so many nationalities all together in one place. Everyone was out to enjoy without discrimination.......a sign that the world can live together under the same sky.

Went to westfield centre - which was huge and tempting!!

Snowbelle - it was cold but its colder up North!! I really miss the South, miss going into London....there is always so much to do down there. Having said that, when I was living down there I missed the north!!

Flame - hun, its ok to feel the way that you do, it is completely natural. I have felt jealousy and resentment towards women who I know have gone through IVF and struck lucky first time. I have not wanted to face any of the little kids in our family. I have wanted to blame my DH even. But you know what none of it will help get what I want...... I can either give in to all these feelings and waste time and energy, or I can be positive and not give up hope and not give up trying. By giving up hope I give up the chance of having what I want sooo much, but if I keep trying I will at least have a chance of that BFP.

So hun, its ok to have the feelings that you do, but don't give up hope!! Just take out all your frustrations on us if you want...we are here to listen and support and encourage you. Inshallah one day you will get the result you want.

Ren - hope you are feeling a little better.

Love and  

northern gal xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Northern girl - great to hear you had a good time down here.

Ren- hows the clomid going?? Inshallah it is going to work for you, I've heard some very positive outcome   just make sure you keep a hold of your DH   BTW I also read your diary! Well done!

Iman - Lovely to hear from  you, inshallah your nephew will be well. As a bizarre consultation he probably won't even remember it when he is older. My DH had lots of operations when he was a toddler and alhumdulilah all was well, and inshallah it will be for your nephew too.

As for me, thank goodness for google. I've put a few posts on FF asking if the HSG delays AF and everyones seems to have been on time. I found a few ladies on google searches who had delayed AF after HSG so that is making me feel better, especially as after anesthetic my AF got delayed. Inshallah that has put my mind at ease.

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters
thanx for all ur support,

northern gal- that makes sense to have hope and keep looking to the future and i.a it will happen if we keep trying and praying
cos my sis in law is staying with us, its difficult  i feel angry at evry1, dont feel like talkin to any1, i know its not fair on others around be but no one know how i feel and i cant even think bout tellin any1 so ill just let out here but from now im gonna have a posotive aproach keep praying ( praying Quran helps) it helped me alot yesterday, and im gonna focus on things i wanna do like start driving lessons again!!!!

  ing for all brothers and sisters in palestine
     ing for my ff friends 
     ing for every1

ren - hope alls well with the clomids

and i hope all goes wel for all

w/s
flame


----------



## ShahShah

Salam to you all,

Hope everyone had a good new year and inshallah this year will bring good news for everyone.  I am so glad I have been off work, it has been great and northern gal - your right it is freezing up North as had o go to see relatives last weekend!!!!  I was not impressed with shops and Westfield has to be the best place to shop   

Flame- stay positive and thing will work out for you. 

Ren - Yo should be ok on the clomid, I know lots of people who have done it and have got pregnant straight away, the same will happen to you  .

lots of love to all xx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

Please make du'a for me, my husband and my marriage.  

SisterC


----------



## Iman

salaams sisters

Just got back from hospital to see my nephew - he had the operation last night and all went well alhamdulillah. Was feeling very unwell still initally but now beginning to be a bit more like his normal self and asking for juice and food masha'allah. I played 'choo-choo trains' with him   and he seemed ok masha'allah -phew! his poor mum and dad not had much sleep but seem better now too after such an inital worry - just goes to show that even when you have been blessed with kids, the tests are far from over!! Although appendicitus is quite common, he is so young ( only 2) and it can get serious but Allah swt watched over him and they whipped his appendix out just in time alhamdulillah. Jazak'allah khairun for all the du'a.

SisterC nice to hear from you - how are you?? of course you are in all our du'as...

xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salam alaykum Everyone  ,

Iman - so pleased to hear your nephew is recovering well  

SisterC -  Inshallah you are always in our duas...inshallah your trip to Syria has returned you home safe and sound  

Shasha, Northern Girl, Flame  

Ren - hang in there! 

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dearest sisters...

Sorry no personals today....apart from....

Imaan...Allhumdulilah ur nephew is doing well...may Allah continue to watch over him and grant him goo health always. Ameen

Snow....mashAllah ur sooo right about how one can comprehend a bomb being blown up and ur 5 children not surviving...  beyond imagination...its genocide....it makes me soo angry...but inshAllah through lots of duas we will be victorious inshAllah! 

We all should definitely take lesson from this and be eternally grateful for Allah guiding us to Islam and for keeping us safe and providing for us...Allhumdulilah. When u watch what is happening in Gaza everything else seem soooo trivial.....! Allah hu Akbar

May Allah grant sabr and success to all those that are suffering in the world, bestow His infinite mercy on us all...Ameen thumma ameen

Love and duas to u all


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaams my dearest sisters

Hope you're all well and HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all and IA this will be a year of realised dreams for all of us.

Iman- so glad to hear your nephew's doing better. IA he makes a full recovery and is back home safe and sound very soon.

Sister C- my dearest you are in our prayers.  May Allah grant you peace of mind and may He bestow love and stability within your home.

Flame- like the girls have mentioned, it's totally normal to experience the feelings you've gone through and and may your turn come very soon, ameen.  And as for coming on here and typing about it, well, this is what we're here for and this is what helps us all cope with the ups and downs of this journey (see my own personal rant below!)

Ren- CONGRATS on starting Clomid! IA we hear news of your BFP very shortly, ameen.

Snow- hope you're fully recovered after whole HSG mess and hope that AF has arrived so that you can start a brand new HSG-free month and IA a step closer to BFP.

Godswill- your trip is coming up soon, you ready? Or are you a last minute packer like me?!

I've been feeling very tearful last couple of days and in fact I have not slept at all last  night (and it's nearly 7.30am now).  As we get closer to the start of our first IVF cycle, I'm experiencing strange feelings of grief and anxiety as I am reminded of the innocent and exciting days at the very beginning of our ttc journey and all the pain that that resulted in........the BFP that ended at 5 weeks.......the months that followed hoping that it will happen, and of course the more recent news of the blocked tubes, thin endometrium, the endometriosis, etc.  In the very very VERY back of my mind, I am still feeling some sort of excitement and a feeling of wanting to get on with it and start.  I really must sort myself out and start to think positively before we start.

So sorry about long rant.  I should definitely start putting things into perspective- I am healthy, I have a wonderful DH who is my happiness and joy, and we both have our families and we all have jobs and homes and food and safety and stability, alhamdulillah.

Salaams to all I have not mentioned and lots of love.

Thinendometrium x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,
Ren - I'm sure you will get past the side effects inshallah Allah(swt) will make it easier for you  

Thinny - inshallah it will work - you just have to relax and get rid of the negative vibes holding on to you ( very easy to say and hard to do)

Me - Still no sign of AF. I know I'm not pregnant as DH and I only did it once before the HSG and that was with contraception at the start of the cycle and nothing since as I felt crap. My tummy is just like a bloated whale at the moment. This is the day that I expect to see the annoying neighbour who would say I didn't know you were having twins! Seriously, I have never been so desperate for AF to come  

love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## billy1

Assalamu Alaikum

"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"

         

I have been browsing the site for a few months now and still haven't quite found any buddies  however i came across the Muslim posters today and wished i had known of this thread earliar 

I personally found it difficult to find my way around the site and still struggling 

My husband and i have been trying to conceive for five years now, this is our first cycle of IVF, the docs put our infertility down to unexplained! All bits are in place but no baby  

I would like permission to join your thread if thats to give and get support    


I am having treatment at bourne hall in Cambridge  and my possible egg collection date is this WEDNESDAY

I look forward to hearing from you all Inshallah and   you all Have good health and may Allah (swt) bless you all with healthy babies.

WS


----------



## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dearest Billy....  

 & a little welcome dance for you        

Lovely to hear from you but sad its in such circumstances...however inshAllah u have come to the right place! sorry u haven't had any luck in navigating ur self around this site...in time u will get there inshAllah.

The other will be along shortly to give u a warm welcome and truly they are a lovely bunch mashAllah. We are all at different levels i am sure we can learn from u and vice versa inshAllah! 

My dh and i are also unexplained...bummer hai.. Allah is the best of planners and we will one day be blessed inshAllah.

I pray inshAllah everything goes well on Wednesday my dear sister...what ever He wills has khair init...inshAllah u will get a BFP.

Love and duas to the rest....


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my dears

Hope you're all well.

Thanks for messages- really appreciate it.  Am feeling bit more optimistic but now getting myself into a pickle about taking time off for EC and ET since they're not going to be known exactly until very close to the time.

Billy- WELCOME! So glad you finally found us and I know what you mean- I found it quite hard to navigate my way around the site, but practice is key!  LOTS OF LUCK on Wednesday and in your treatment. IA you will get a BFP!  We're due to start first IVF this month too- on CD2 which should be around 22nd or so IA.  I'm going to be on the antagonist (short) protocol.  What protocol have you been on?

Ren- so sorry you're having side effects, IA they will disappear soon.  Maybe the headache was linked to wisdom teeth rather than clomid.............Just think that this IA will bring you the precious BFP!

Snow- IA your AF arrives soon, mine played up as well but eventually it arrives. Very VERY frustrating waiting for it to do so.

Lots of love to all the girls and good night,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## soni

Salaam All,

ME back in snowy London!!!!!!!Trip was great fun and much needed distraction.

I want to wish u all a very happy new year.IA hoping and praying for lots of good news this year.

Welcome Billy!!!!!!!and Good luck for ur egg collection  

Snow, hope u r well!!!!!

Ren,me on ********......will send u my details 

Godswill,how r u

Lots of love to rest of the gang!!!!will catch up soon.

Soni.


----------



## DreamTeam

salams everyone

A big   to Billy, inshallah you will love everyone here - I know I do! Everyone is so fantastic and great at pulling each other through the hard days  . Inshallah you will get your children as will everyone inshallah.

Just back from seeing my GP to talk through my blood test results and he said that 9 for a CD21 progesterone/follicular is fine. So inshallah that is all good for me. I just need to start being a good girl and taking my folic acid (which TMI really doesn't agree with my stomach either while in or out  ) Booooo! But it is all exciting! Also I've thinking about my future quite a bit, maybe its just a january thing   Other than that I've got tonsilitis!!! My GP is a strange man, he went through explaining the classic symptoms and then was delighted when I had them!  Anyway that now means that my the end of this course I would have been on anti-biotics for 3 weeks out of 4!!!!   Is it still possible to get a BFP if so drugged up for so long Other than that I am loving the snow  although I wasn't too keen on the slippery ice on the way to/from the doctors the stress of thinking I would end up back in the fracture clinic was tooooo much! AF arrived on saturday - sooooooooooo pleased to see the evil thing!!!

Ren - Godswill sent me your details as a mutual friend of **, so I have added you on there! Inshallah you side effects will get better, and like thinnny says if you get your BFP it will all be worth it inshallah. 

Soni - How was viva Vegas Did you get sun burnt or did you freeze in the snow

Thinny - you have to stay positive, positivity breeds positivity inshallah!

Godswill, shasha, countrybumpkin, northern girl and everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms 
sisters 

snow, ren and soni- im on ** how do i get ur details and pass mine on ?

hope all are well 
 for us its my dh's SA today - jope it goes well


----------



## soni

Flame, I tried to send u my details but failed.U can Personal Message me ur details using fertilty friends.Then I will try and find u over there.Hope it helps!!!

Sxx


----------



## flame

ill give my ** details too but please dont mention tx on thier as my dam dont know too thanx girls


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
Feel soooooooooooo crap and I spent the afternoon in bed!!! 

Ren added you on ** - so lovely to see you after all this time!

As a general rule, I think it is understood that on ** don't discuss fet issues as 'other' friends don't know or its not something we want to discuss with them etc.

Flame just PM me and I'll send you my details

much love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams
One of my best friends has just texted me to say she is pregnant and due on the 13th of September. They've been trying about 2 months. They tried the first month and had no clue as to timings. I told her the timings and some other bits. Now I feel really crap. And sad     I really need to get a grip but its NOT fair...i hate this i hate this i hate this.       

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Salaams

Just a quick one - Ren I have requested you on ** ( through godswill recommendation) and Flame, find me through Ren please!! I am private on there ( completly hidden) but I will be the one ( insha'allah) in Ren's list ( Or snow's or Godswill's) with the purple and yellow logo....  

Hope all are well insha'allah. Snow - hang in there. Come here and sound out....I know how you feel so much sis   we all do. Insha'allah your time is coming.....posivity for 2009 insha'allah....you know when you ask Allah swt for a child, he wants to give you what you want so badly but He knows best as to when and how. In the meantime, you've got us lovely bunch!!!

xxxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are all well,  I am on ** how do I add some of you   My profile is hidden so will not come up!

Snow- have faith, it will happen for you but I know how you feel as everyone is popping them out like it is going out of fashion!!!!

Billy and thinny - good luck in your treatment - i was due to start in 2 weeks and have now been told will have to have more bloods so will have to wait till feb AF to start, I had a right moan at my consultant telling her i was getting old and had no time to waste on these things!!!  

Ren - stick with it and it will get better 

Everyone else I have missed my duas are with you ........   

PS Could not take it this morning when it was the first day back at work and snowing , I went sliding down the road in my heels!!!!! 

love to all 
ShahShah x


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my sweets

IA all of you are well.

Soni- WELCOME BACK.  Hope you had a good break.

Snow- so sorry to hear you're unwell again.  IA this will be it. And sorry you're feeling down- don't worry hun, as Iman says, we just don't know when our time will come, but Allah will def choose the best of times.  Got to stay positive (am trying to do that.......not always working!).  But seriously, look on bright side, your doc says blood tests are ok, so that's a def positive!

Flame- good luck for SA results.  IA all's normal.

Shahshah- thanks for your good wishes and don't you worry, Feb will be here before you know it and that must be the time Allah has chosen to be right for you, so that should make you feel really good.  Really hope that you've not got any bumps or bruises from tumble.

Lots of love to all,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Thanks to everyone for listening to me last night...it was quite a freek out session. Alhumdulilah I did eventually manage to text my friend afterwards and congratulate her. When I got married, she gave me 2 wedding presents, one was the present and the second was a book on baby names because she knew that we wanted a family asap! I guess she will be needing it now...khair inshallah. I just keep on reminding myself that I have Allah(swt) mercy on me because I haven't woken up to find myself alive and my children dead... 

Flame - inshallah your DH's results will be normal   just feed him lots of zinc inshallah. I am on ** as snow I'm sure you'll find me.

Imam, Soni, thinny, shasha and everyone   

much love
Snowbelle


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies, how are you all.

just wanted to pop in and say my salaams. I was supposed to be fasting for Ashooraa yesterday and today.. but AF decided to stay for 9 days.. 9 DAYS!!!! what is that all about?.. then DH said wasn't worth doing on 11th Muharram as Ashooraa is 9and10, 10 or 10and11 - not just 11. D'oh! Oh well Allah SWA knows my intentions were good. 

Went on the march in London on Saturday. DH and I took the kids with us. AH it was brilliant. We are old veterans at it, as used to go to the 'Stop the War' ones as well b4 kids came along. If we can't go and fight for our bros/sis out there, then our J1h*d is to walk for them - and get people to take notice IA. 

Hope everyone is well and fighting fit. 

Fazworld

PS..Just went to do wudoo.. and just as well I didn't fast today (sorry tmi).. 10 days!!! bah!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Am ssssssssssssoooooooooooooooo bored of feeling ill!!!  winge winge feel yuk!

Fazworld - good to hear you are doing your bit for the palestinians, inshallah we are all doing what we can. I'm surprised you took your kids though, I saw some youtube videos where the police were literally attacking some children!!!

love to everyone

snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters, 

hope all are well, nice to see faz went on the march.... just a thought to share .. ive been praying surah yaseen and surah fath (chapter 4 everyday along with duas... to help our fellow bros/sisters in palestine.. if any1 would like to also... its real rewarding...

btw..im waiting for the call of my dh's sa result if i dont get a call by 2moro im gonna ring and ask but  ........... .......  
....... i dont think he managed to get enuff in the bottle....      

ive been out shopping to get my mind off things but ive ended up spending ..........      

  ing for all


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Inshallah everyone is doing ok. I still have the lurgey and look like lord knows what wrapped in jumpers and blankets!!!

Flame - Nice to see you on **!   Did you get your DH's results? Inshallah they were all ok!

Ren - What is on the cake diet for today I think I'm gonna stick to my diet with you eating your way through whats in my mind! 

Godswill - Bonne voyage   we are going to miss you  

Soni, Faz, Shasha, and everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Ren,I do hope u r feeling better now!!!I know it's hard to say and do it but we have to be positive for our own sanity!!!  .I am still finding it hard to even think about our future plans while DH is already fretting abouth March/April when all our pregnant family members will be having their babies insha'Allah!!!

Snowbelle, i hope u r feeling better...........

I wish I could go with Godswill to Karachi................anywhere to hide from everyone!!!!!!  

Sxx


----------



## flame

slms sisters, 
ren- hope everything is ok for you my   's are with u . GOOD LUCK with the ivf 

soni- it can be hard to cope with close family members giving birth esp if they got married after you, but believe me time heals that pain..

snow - hope ur feelin better

faz, godswill and the rest hoping and prayin all are well... 

my DH rang the surgery and he was told that the result was abnormal and we have a docs appointment on the 22nd of Jan to discuss why and etc....
my dh hasn't had any blood tests but i guess i should ask the doc for 1... what else should i ask for? a referral to a speacialist??  i'm so confused dunno wot to do every time i see a doc i dont know what to say...... 

flame!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams,

Where is everyone?  Looks like everyone has hidden in Godswill's suitcase and are heading to Pakistan!

Looks like I'm home alone!!  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salam,

I think I am home alone tooooooooo!!!!!!!!!  

I think Ren will be here later.........I am off to cook din dins!!!

Love to all,

Soni


----------



## billy1

Assalam Alaikum Beautiful sisters    

Inshallah you are all well  

From reading the posts it sounds like you guys are lonely    

I hope your friends return soon.

I am on my 2ww and just found out i have OHSS  Inshallah i will be OK 

Docs advised plenty of fluids and lots protein.

Would be great to chat if anyones about  

WS
BILLY


----------



## soni

W'Salam Billy,

Congrats on being PUPO.Getting OHSS in 2ww is rather a very good news for some as it indicates pregnancy!!!!!!I really hope this is it for you.........do let is know if its BFP    >Also keep drinking water and eat proteins at this stage.Hope u r ok!!!!!!

Ren,Snowbelle,Iman,shahshah,flame,Fazworld,Maarias,Thinendometrium ,Godswill and who ever I've missed................come back!!!!!We miss u all   

Sxx


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

No idea what OHSS is, but inshallah it is good and if Soni says its a good sign then inshallah! Anyway the 2ww how exciting! I was reading on one of the other boards, that in Cyprus () on the 2ww after transfer they put people on bed rest!!!! Scary! Inshallah its all going to work and we will have some more babies on this board!

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

I don't have time now to update myself on all the posts, so please bear with me.

Did my test today. BFN again. Dh is taking herbs and honey prescribed in Syria. I think I'll go see the GP and explain what dh did on our last trip to the Clinic. Of all the people he could have told, he picked the consultant!!!!

I really think that we need IUI but I don't know how much weight I have to lose before they will do it or if they will consider us at all after dh's outburst. The consultant told us to get marriage guidance.

While we were on the way back from Damascus we were attacked and robbed at the roadside in Turkey. While we were alone in the dark, vulnerable and frightened, I found out how much we need Allah and how my dh is the most important person in my life. I don't know if I told you but I wouldn't shut up 2 days later in the car so he gave me my second Talaq. On cycle day 11. He took me back and we did the bd 2 days later, but he is so depressed. We have so much financial problems and dh is very unhappy. The thing is I don't think I can make him happy. Only Allah can do it. Please, please make du'a for him. He seems to be in such a dark lonely place, behind his wall where I can't reach him. Only this time I'm accepting the wall and leaving it to Allah instead of trying to break through it. He said something which struck me to the core on our trip "the glass when it's broken can not be mended". That's not true though. It can be put back in the fire and melted down and made again. This is what I need Allah to do for my marriage. Please please make du'a that it happens. Because it is mainly due to this stupid stupid Clomid. I did so much damage to my marriage that time I went crazy. 

Ren let me know how Clomid affects you please.

Please pray for me. I can't pray enough myself.

May Allah grant you all beautiful pious babies that will be a reward for you that will bring you to Jennah. Amin

C


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams
We go see our doctors in March, which is a while away yet but effectively this our chance to TTC naturally if we can (questions as to number of DH's swimmers as they fluctuate to the equivalent of 1/12 chances  ). When we finally do get round to our appointment I need to have lost another few kilos and then inshallah we will discuss how to move forward: ICIS or whatever...

6th of February sounds really exciting!!! Inshallah it is going to work, but the best inshallah would be is that the clomid has done its bit and you won't need it inshallah, inshallah!

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Sister C 
It seems we posted at the same time!

I was so sorry to hear that you were robbed, that you and your DH are having difficulties and that you got a BFN top it all off. Inshallah things will get easier. Some how all these things seem to come together and have an all consuming affect on our lives. Inshallah Allah(swt) will make things easier for you and your DH and give you stability, security, love and happiness and inshallah beautiful children.

love

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Snowbelle, when we were in Damascus last month dh was out and came back to find me crying. Alhamdililah, the concern on his face surprised me, then when I told him it was a BFN again. His attitude seemed to be "next month, insha Allah". I am in the country house with the cat, alone. He is in the city. He has taken in a lodger also from Damascus. They smoke argila every night. They pray together. Insha Allah this will help lift dh out of himself. In Syria we were so close, and dh showed he loved me. He was very affectionate towards me in front of his family, even going so far as to kiss my hand, which in his culture is a sign of respect reserved normally for the mother.

I just took a break from typing as I started crying and I called dh and told him. I read a post by Soni on another thread started by Countrybumpkin (Yaz) and the posts on there showed how we all have it diffficult on this journey. I suppose we wouldn't be here at all if we weren't in need of each other, and the only safe way to vent is here. Alhamdililah for this group.

I told dh I think we need IVF and I told him we have an appointment on 23rd with the Consultant and that I plan to go to the GP first. Trying to get information out of him about how he feels or what he thinks is impossible. It is only when I push him hard that I find things out, but that's what caused the last Talaq - I thought I had him captive in the car, so I pushed and pushed and didn't stop. I've just told him that the glass can be mended. It can be refired, and blown again and anyway Allah can do anything.

Sisters please don't forget to put me and dh in your dua's.

C


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Does anyone know what weight you have to be for them to do IUI or IVF?

C


----------



## soni

Salam sisterC,

I am happy to see u among us and praying that all the things in your life get sorted quickly..........Ameen and all ur wishes come true!!!!!!

As long as IUI ans IVF is concerned I think it depends on your clinic which protocol they are following.Normally weight issues come along if ur cycling with NHS and most private clinics are flexible unless they think ur weight is going to effect the treatment.I have always done private treatments so that was not an issue.But just to let u knowthat that hormones (injections)or clomid does contribute in weight gain.........atleast it was dramatic in my case as I was size 8 when I started treatment and size 12 with my last treatment(bearing in mind that I am very short so look like a mini football rolling on the ground  ).So u have to give urself that much space to expand really  

WOW seems like evryone is actively trying to conceive these few months.Come on all of us we do need some positive stories over here!!!!

Ren,I hope clomid does the trick for you...........it should,it will Insha'Allah!!!!As far as I am concerned I am not looking forward to my next attempt at all...........maybe March/April maybe!!!I don't know.My brother's wife is due in April Insha'Allah and he wants me to be there to help them out with their 2 years old and I am trying very hard to go to Pakistan and that might delay treatment further plus I am still trying to get a job so at the moment no planning at all.Everything will be a last minute decision.

Snow, just keep trying....u never know if it will happen naturally and save u from ICSI,if not we can be cycle buddies!!!!  

Where are the others,any ideasand what they might be doingcome on everyone update us on your recent adventures god or bad!!!!  

Love,

Soni


----------



## flame

slms to all sisters,
sister c -  soo sorry to hear bout what ur goimg through   ang for you and ur DH's that all problems are solved for u both...

ren -  hope ur well and insha allah the chlomids will work for u!!

well my dh done his SA and he rang the surgery and he was told that the result was abnormal and we have a docs appointment on the 22nd of Jan to discuss why and etc....
my dh hasn't had any blood tests but i guess i should ask the doc for some blood tests and i have no idea of what else we should ask for? a referral to a speacialist??  i'm so confused dunno wot to do every time i see a doc i dont know what to say......  should i make an appointment as well., should we both go?  

slms to snow , faz , soni and any1 else ive missed


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## soni

Salam Flame,

In regard to your query,you need to make sure what is ABNORMAL in SA.Is it sperm's morphology(shape),motility(movement) or the overall number of sperms in the sample and how it can be cured..........normally if nothing is drastic they ask you start taking multivitamin with zinc and plenty of water and normal precautions like wearing boxers,no hot baths etc and repeat analysis in 3 months to see if there is any improvement.

For you,u can ask for ur basic hormone profile(FSH,LH etc) but most importanatly u should ask for a referral to fertility clinic either through NHS or private(if u can afford it).Sooner u can have a referral and first appoinment better it is because waiting for the results and tying investigations with your cycles does take a long time and involves planning.Also if there is a possibility of going down the ICSI route if ur husband's SA doesn't improve as normally.

I hope it helps.I hope it all goes well for u.

Love,
Soni


----------



## flame

slms 
soni - thanx a BIG BUNCH for ur advice ( iwas begining to think i was lost    )  last time we were with another doc who was muslim and a family friend of my DH and he told us that DH has NO sperm and we have no option other than sperm donor and that was after only 1 SA.  
since then we gave up... as islamically i think donor is not permissible,    then i decided to check the web and i heard of all other ways to treat mens infertility... so i encouraged my DH to change docs but this time round gettin him to do SA took ages ( obviously after last result he was devastated ) but we managed and i guess we have to wait till 22nd to see what abnormal is....  WAIT....

ok gotta go 
slms to all sisters

flame


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are all well.
Flame - yes you will have to wait to find out what is abnormal.  Is it movement or fertility....  wait to see what they tell you before you make any decisions.   

Sister C - I am so sorry to hear of all your problems - may allah give you strength and grant you sabr, inshallah things will get better for you. 

Ren - Your appointment is soon, hopefully the clomid will work most people I talk to say it does so wait for that to take effect.  Yes you will get side effects as I know when I have been on my icsi drugs my hormones are everywhere!!!  

Soni - when are you starting your next treatment?  I am going to start in feb - mid month.  Am starting my acupuncture and someone said you should have bed rest, I got the Zita West book and it tells you loads of stuff and says that after embie transfer you should do nothing but rest not even housework!!!!!!  Maybe this is where i went wrong, being someone who cant sit still all day    

Snow - inshallah you get your BFP before your appointment.

To everyone ive missed my love to you all xx


----------



## soni

Ren,

I hope u r feeling better now.................I am here lurking in between applying for jobs!!!!This is my secret which I am sharing with u all as DH doesn't want me to go for jobs any more and still persistent that we should try again asap!!!and I am trying to hide somewhere....................hehehe...we'll see whatever comes first!!!

This TTC journey is just soooooooooooooo strange but I have to admit after all the negativity last year,this year has started on a very positive note but I still have to see how long my positivity lasts.......I am also feeling very bloated and hungry these days,not surprised though as AF due next week.I am missing Godswill as she is my AF buddy  .I am continuing with my gym routine and no sugar routine but no significant weight loss................I blame the hormones for that.

Shahshah which clinic are u athope it goes well for u this time.

Snowbelle,where r u

Flame, u ok un

Love,

Sxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

I'm here!!! After being with infection then flu etc been feeling very exhausted so just trying to get myself together and then to top it all off I have been thinking about my future. I mean sometimes the TTC journey is just so long. I getting closer to a decision about what to do. Again I've been feeling good and positive which is probably why I haven't been on this 24/7!!!

Ren - hows the clomid going? Hope you feel better soon!

Soni - looking forward to seeing you guys on sat!

lots of love to everyone 

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

salaam ladies!

hope you're all well.

SisterC- glad to know you're back safely but so sorry to hear of all your troubles   .   that things improve for you very soon.

Ren- congrats on appointment but really hope you don't need it

Snow- glad to hear you're over the flu and all the infections you've had lately. Good luck for appt.

Billy- Lots of luck and here's     that you get that BFP on your OTD.

Shahshah- good luck for your treatment.

I have been working crazy hours at work as I'm trying to make my days more bareable at work in a couple of weeks' time when hopefully will be in the midst of IVF treatment.  So haven't been on FF for days.

We had our coordination appointment on Friday. Got shown how to inject, etc.  Had a scan- my ovaries are in good position for EC should we get to that point IA.  My endometrium is also the thickest it has been since we started our investigations! (but still not normal thickness of course!) But I had like 50 or 60 follicles (not all big of course, all bar a couple are tiny) because of my PCO and that's making me really nervous as it brings home the fear of hyperstimulating (young PCO patients are at the highest risk of OHSS).  Good news is that I've ovulated, etc so my period should NOT be late IA. Meds should be arriving tomorrow IA.  AF due 21/22 Jan- next week IA and I start injections on day 2 IA.

That's my update.

Really hope you're all doing well and love and best wishes to you all,
thinendometrium x

ps- i'm probably not going to be able to get online for a good few days again.


----------



## FazWorld

ASA to everyone.

I have been a lurker.. reading.. if I don't post much - it don't mean I not here!  

As I was walking home last night, I was trying to work out what TOTM I was at.. and whether I should prod DH at night. I then thought that is my ICSI had worked, I would have been 10 weeks by n ow, almost ready to tell people that I was PG... I felt very sad that things had not worked out for me then.. esp as my younger sis told me on the w/e of her 'false alarm' of what would be baby no.5! She said it made her cry at first.. until she got used to idea.. (she was 5 days late). She seems to get PG at the slightest touch! 

Anyway.. I was at Day 15, so thought it may be worth a shot!   DH didn't mind too much, but having to take a shower b4 Fajr is quite irksome. I guess at the mo it OK, as its around my wake-up time, but he stays in bed till later  

thinny - I have heard it said that baby aspirin is good for thickening the womb lining.. you may want to try that? I don't think it does any harm.. but if you do consider it - please speak to your nurses/docs to make sure it OK.

SisterC, I am sorry for you situation. If your DH gives you a talak, and then takes you back, doesn't the counter go back to zero? And then he needs to start again..? However, that does not take away from the fact that Allah SWA has stated that it is not to be treated as a joke with which to torment the wife. I understand he is very sad, but really that is not a good enough reason to play with your emotions. You are virtually a prisoner by your emotions as you want to stay with him, but are paralysed by fear.  

R4K, I am sorry you are feeling so down about the whole thing. But please remember sister, you are sooo young AH, and have sooo much time ahead of you to do the things we are all talking about here.. don't let it get you down.. Allah SWA says look at those more unfortunate than you.. look at the people that are too old to try.. who have spent their lives trying with no reward. IA you will get your reward, just have sabr.. these things combined together give us the strength to continue. 

Soni, glad to see you are still on the job hunt - tho now is not the best time to be looking as sooo many redundancies flying around. Explain to your DH that yu can always give up your job when (not if!) you get BFP, but there is no point in waiting around as that may be some time (IA not!) in coming... Maybe he is looking at the no-stress aspect. 

Flame, usually abnormal just means there is slow motility, or the shape of their 'head' is not pointed (the morphology) as Soni pointed out. Apparently Zinc and selenium should help, but if not, then all is not lost as you can have ICSI which is where they physically inject the sp*rm head into the egg. This does away with any of these particuler issues - tho it does cost a little more. I am proof that it works, as my twin DD are a result of ICSI (for the above reasons) and have always had to have it in all of my 5 treatments.

Snowbelle, gald to see you better and more positive. IA sisters we will all get throughthis happy and smiling and saying AH atthe tops of our voices for all that we have.  

DH went on the march on Sat. He wouldn't take me and the kids cos he said there might be trouble and it was very cold (there was and it was -2 C - don't you hate it when they are right? ) IA we will go to the one this Sat which is in East London (Leytonstone to Walthamstow). Are ther are any marches in other parts of country?

Thats all from me - gosh I think it was a particularly long one today!
Fazworld


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Poor Ren - you seem to have a terrible time whether it is AF or OV. Insha Allah you will be rewarded for your pain.

ShahShah - what are you getting the acupuncture for? I have just had my 4th session. After 1 session my back pain was sorted - the GP and Difene didn't work at all. I am hoping to get the chi flowing well and my body balanced to prepare it for pregnancy, to aid in weight loss and smoking cessation.

Does anyone else have a 35 day cycle? Instead of a 2WW I have a 3WW but always test on CD 28 just in case, because if when I conceive insha Allah, I have to stop some medication I am on for long term mental illness.

Dh came last night without warning. I did ask him to call me if he was going to come. I was a mess - I would have changed my clothes and hoovered the hall if I knew he was coming. I was so embarrassed because what I was wearing showed how fat I am and I hate him to see my body shape. I wouldn't mind but the night before I had both my sisters for tea and I was well dressed and they thought I looked reallly well. I wish dh had seen me then, because when I am with him in the city I am always wearing Jilbab and hijab because of the lodger. Qadr Allah.

He seems really down and troubled. He brought €1,000 cash down which he owed my sister. He didn't even stay for a cup of tea or coffee. He didn't even sit down. He let me "take" a hug but when he left I just burst into tears. He is so unreachable. One of the other sisters said that her dh was "devastated" when the Semen Analysis showed a problem. Dh was upset that when in Syria I told people that I didn't have a problem, which by implication meant he did. Alhamdililah though, when he was back home he went to the doctor who specialises in infertility and got honey with herbs. I just wish I knew what is going on in his mind.

He keeps talking about marrying a second wife. I looked up Arab culture and infertility and it seems this is a common response - they have to prove their manhood. I know this is halal, and I should accept it if someone else can make dh happy but I want to discourage it because I feel like he wants to throw me away like a used tissue and replace me.

When we were on our way back he asked about a home office divorce. I said I would fight a legal divorce with everything I have, because in my culture it is a "shame" or taboo to be divorced. Anyway I love him and I want him for myself, which I know is selfish, but even the prophet's (saws) wives (ra) were jealous.

He is crippled by debt, most of which is down to supporting his mother and brothers & sisters when he actually can't support himself or me. (One of the reasons for separate houses is that I have maintenance from the government, as he can't be relied on.) Anyway, on the way back, while we were divorced he asked me if I would lend him money when my legacy comes through. I gave an evasive answer. Then since we got back I decided to tell him. I said that provided we were married and he did not take a second wife I would give him the money, not loan it. It is a very very substantial amount that he owes. He asked me what I would do if he married again, I said then I wouldn't give him the money. It sounds hard but I have to look towards my old age. He is not fit to support me now and he is so foolish with money that I think I need to hold on to my legacy, unless we are in the same boat together.

This is going to sound really *****y, but I need to vent - Why should I give him a legal divorce so he can import a girl from Syria and marry her? He already got his passport which I don't mind, but I am not generous enough to want to have a hand in giving citizenship to a woman who will take my place, whom he will support and live with, astaghferallah. Especially when it is not necessary. He can marry 3 other women Islamically, he doesn't NEED a CIVIL divorce unless he is planning on the above, and I know him well enough to know that is what he is thinking in this instance. 

I am ovulating, and my tubes are clear and the consultant says there is no reason now why I should not conceive, except if we are not trying often enough. So he doesn't need a second wife. He ceratinly can't afford one. 

BMS is so boring, and uncomfortable and "forced". He feels coerced, and I feel like a slave to my cycle. It has got to the stage where that is all we do on that front, but if he is so depressed, naturally his libido will be low. I am just worried that his love for me has turned to hate. He treats me like a fly that is annoying him. 

Is what I said about the money emotional blackmail or a reasonable condition? I know that wives often give up their rights, (I certainly have given up my right to financial support/maintenance). Is it unreasonable to ask him to give up the right to take another wife if I am going to give him €25,000?

To be honest I think I love him enough that if he really needs  a second wife I would accept it, but I don't like it one little bit. In fact it breaks my heart when he talks of it. I told him if he is going to do it, not to talk about it, just go and do it and tell me when it's done. Honestly though, even though I love him he is not a great catch, so hopefully no one will accept him as a husband. Miaow!! 

Please keep us in your dua.
C


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Where is Godswill? What happened to her? Did she get a BFP while I was away? 

SisterC


----------



## flame

slms sisters, 

hope and    everyone is in best of health and   

sisterc-  so sorry to hear about your problems with ur husband- have you tried talking to a mufti or an aalima about your problems - they mite be able to advice you... 

ren -  good to hear ur feeling b8r   ing for u!!

slms to all sisters , soni, snow, godswill, faz, and any1 els ive missed!

my dh made an appoint to see doc on 22nd but he didnt book me in with him and wen i called the surgery to add me on the receptionist said she cant..... i know its his SA we need to discuss but shouldnt my notes be opened too?
i cant stand receptionist and all these new rules at the surgery   
oh well i hate waiting but i guess its not too long....

my mum keeps telling me to come spend the weekend with her but DH doesnt like goin for the wkend and he just likes to pop in 4 a day.... who do u keep happy?

life 4 a woman hey!!!

i guess i best stop complaing now sorry girls and best wishes to all

flame


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are all well.
Sister C- If I was in your position there is no way I would give my DH a penny, but i know we are all different maybe I am far too westernised but I can certainly tell you that some expletives would be coming out of my mouth!!!!   
I am having my acupuncture to get my body ready for my next ICSI cycle due to start next month, they say 3rd time lucky and I keep being told there is nothing wrong with me so they shoud implant so am trying everything to maximise my chances! 
I hope things work out for you.

Soni - I was going to go to ARGC but cannot afford it, am staying with Bridge Centre but most of the treatment happens at my local hospital and them I just go to Bridge later.  I was totaly advised against imune testing by my consultant and my DH was not happy about me doing it !!!

Ren - you are v.lucky to have found outr early unlike me and my DH, I keep telling my dr that time is runing out and they keep telling me to be patient.

Love and dua to everyone xx


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## soni

Salam evevryone,

Its good to see evryone chatting!!!!!!!!!!

SisterC,I think you have to be very strong to make such decisions but I have to say if I would be in your situation I would probably think about myself first.I know its selfish but I don't see it as wrong............it's just my opinion.I am praying for u!!!

Fazee, good to see you.............how r ur daughtersI hope ur BD does the trick for u!!!U r right about my DH as he is worried that my job will cause stress to me (which it does both physically and mentally)but I am seeing it as an escape route probably.....sometimes I think by delaying or not being prepared for another go,I am denying DH his right and commiting a sin but he understands and I am working on myself IYKWIM!!!  

Ren,Brilliant news that pain has gone..........I realy hope clomid works fr u as I've read many clomid success stories around here.It does make you very hormonal though.........tearful and achy and general run down feeling so be prepared or u may well escape from all these nasty symptoms and only experience pregnancy symptoms Insha'Allah!!!

Flame,I think you can go in with DH for the apptt.Ur GP just has to open ur notes on computer if needs be............I normally speak of my DH problems and my GP do things for us as he knows we are in it together atleast as far as things are fertility related.U don't need to make an apptt for that....hope it goes well for both of u  

Shahshah,I used bridge as well for transfers only.rest was done at my local clinic.I find my local clinic very good especially nurses......but they don't believe in immune issues hence we opted for ARGc although that didn't work as well.I have mentioned to DH to try again from local clinic but he is very convinced with their intense monitoring especially post BFP.we just didn't have enough monitoring after BFP which led to our m/c last year and since then he is not very keen on our local gynaecologist although I don't know what he is going to do if I ever get pregnant and when we have to caome back in NHS care,we will be his patients again.........I should not think about these things just yet  .Good luck with accupuncture.I also had it for one year and have recently given up but may start again if we decide for another go.

Thinendometrium,Good luck for ur upcoming cycle!!!!!!I hope u have a brilliant start to newyear with the BFP!!!

Snowbelle,did u have another busy daywill see u on Saturday Insha'Allah!!!

Iman,Maarias,KP(who had little daughter Alhumdullilah!),Godswill hope u all are well  

Love,

Soni


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## butterfly009

Salamu 3alaikum sisters!

I'm so excited about finding this message board!  I am a muslim sister, I do not live in the UK, I'm in the state of Minnesota in the USA.  I have been searching for a community of muslim sisters to share these experiences with.  As many of you have experienced, infertility carries a stigma with it, and with the muslim(or i should say arab) community it's not something easy to talk about.  I have felt so lonely as I haven't shared my experiences with anyone, the stigma is debilitating.  I have only been praying to Allah for patience, guidance, and for a child (just one would make me happy!)

I know i can do this in a signature, but i prefer to tell my story since i'm new to the board.  My husband and i have been married for almost 3 years, we have been trying to conceive for 2.5 years.  We didn't have insurance for 1 year (it is so expensive here), so that delayed everything.  We recently started doing tests to see what the problem is, since i never got pregnant.  I know it's horrible but i was even wishing for a miscarriage just so i know i CAN get pregnant.   I'm only 21 years old, but it doesnt make the pain any less.  
Alhamdulillah.  anyways, to make a long story short, they think i might have endometriosis, but the blood tests came out clear.  My husband was diagnosed with azoospermia (ZERO sperm!)  All I can say about that, is that it was the biggest shock of my life, and the most terrifying moments followed that news.  I had prepared myself to deal with the possibility of a low count, but not zero!  Alhamdulillah, Allah knows best.  So, now we're waiting on blood tests and another SA that the urologist requested.  The urologist says it's not a blockage becuase there is fructose and the amount is normal.  I dont know if that's good or bad, it could be that he just doesnt  produce any.  These past couple of weeks have been SO difficult.  I can't even show sadness or frustration, becuase i feel like i'm making him feel worse when i do.  He feels guilty and responsible.  I keep telling him it could have been either one of us, and that if Allah has it in our future to be parents we will.  nonetheless, he does a pretty good job of stuffing his feelings, I, on the other hand cry sporatically whenever i remember that we dont have much of a chance without ivf & icsi, which cost over $15,000 at least.  

Sorry for making the story SO long.  Do any of you have similar experiences?  Or can you give me any tips on keeping faith and staying sane.  Some moments i feel like i'm going to lose my mind, i have always wanted to be a mother.  The stigma and shock of family will make this much harder too.  

Inshallah Allah swt will bless us all with healthy, pious children   ameen.    

I can't wait to meet everyone here!


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## flame

slms,  
butterfly - welcome to the board its great here and other threads are good too....  i know exactly how u are feeling as i am in the same boat as you...  i get regular periods but heavy and painfull so every1 asumed there was something wrong with me but wen i had all my blood tests and all scans  was clear.. (alhamdulillah)... then my dh had an sa and his 1st test came back zero sperm too and our doc then (who was muslim) said we have no hope of becoming parents without donor) so we both had a shock and we just kept our feelings to ourselves it was really hard on my DH as he felt responsible and i had a whole load of mixed feeling.....  then one day i was searching the net and i came across so many other options that my doc didnt tell us about like blockages, icsi,etc.... and i felt that so much time had been wasted .  your lucky yr still young cos i am now 30.  so i forced my DH to change surgerys and re start the whole process but this time he couldnt come to terms with doing SA cos he was devastated by the last result... SO finally he s done it and weve been told its abnormal... and we have a docs appoint on the 22nd...

its real difficult to talk to any1 esp if its dh's issues bcos u cant tell any1 as its like putting him to shame in our culture.. if it was a woman issue i guess it could be talked about more easily...  
insha allah Allah makes a road for success and miracles in all our path and grants us children who are the coolness of our eyes and the peace of our hearts...Ameen!!!

soni-  yeah thats what i was thinkin and planning to do is go with dh to the appoint and if doc needs to open my notes im sure he can...IA !!  

slms to faz, ren, snow, godswill, sisterc and any one ive missed ... you are all in my prayers


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Welcome Butterfly. 

So Flame your dh has problems too. Alhamdililah we have each other. What culture do you come from that views it as "shame" when it is the man who has a problem? My dh is Arab and it is a problem in that culture too.

Our next appointment there is this day week. I'm still on my 3WW so AF due tomorrow, then Clomid on day 2, (AGAIN, as Forest Gump would say) I've been on Clomid for 9 months and the GP today told me to push to have a procedure as I am 41. I spoke to her about the strain this whole process has caused in my marriage. The Clomid turned me into a raging banshee particularly at OV time. (My culture is Irish, Catholic but I am Muslim)

The GP also said the clinic also offers a counselling service which she thinks we should avail of. She said it should have been offered to us already and to ask next week. IUI or IVF - that's our next step. They will probably refuse me IVF because my mother had breast cancer, and due to the Catholic ethos they will only offer treatment if we are in a stable marriage. 

We are married 8 years and are not Catholic, but the ethos and ethics applied to us still are. They don't take culture or religious differences into account. Also my dh is from a different culture and he fought with me in front of the Consultant last time we were there, which is not appropriate in Irish culture. We love each other, and are committed to having a baby, but he has to "just shut up" in front of the team there, the GP said. "They are doctors" she said, "not your friends". 

She also said that dh should continue taking the Sudafed every day - it contains the drugs they use to treat retrograde ejaculation even though the diagnosis is not confirmed. She thinks that what is holding up progress is that they are checking out my marriage, to see if it comes up to the Catholic standard of stability. I mean what is that all about We are married 8 years and have been going through this tortous journey with the clinic for over a year now.I feel mad now. I would love to go in there and start breaking all the crucifixes!  


Well, I was so relieved after talking to the GP and her explaining how the Clinic works, and how the marriage strain is normal, and how being a banshee is normal and just talking helped. I came home to dh and cried for about an hour, which he didn't appreciate as he was watching the Arab leaders summit on Gaza. If you're going to cry - go to your own house. Oh I just love his sensitivity!!!!    I know what is happening in Gaza is terrible but they are his people not my people. He is Palestinian and was a freedom fighter for many years with the PLO, and is deeply interested in Palestinian affairs. That is one thing that worries me a bit. Because you know how the sucide bombers families are all paid a great deal of money and are "looked after"? I worry that dh would take that route to settle his debts, but I think and hope and pray that he is too old. 

It will be interesting to see if he takes the Sudafed! The GP agreed that dh is definitely engaged with the program because he gave his 2 Semen samples. Also, he drives me to the clinic every time, though he usually waits outside. I wish I'd left him outside last time but Qadr Allah wa ma sha fa'al.

Love to everyone, no personals but you are in my dua - please keep me in yours. Also anyone else got advice on giving money to dh?

A final note, first to myself and then to you my sisters. Beware of hidden shirk it is like a black ant on a black stone in the middle of the desert on a moonless night and is the only sin Allah does not forgive. Please remember Lady Luck i.e. the Goddess Fortuna has nothing to do with whether we conceive or not. Allahu Akbar wa dahu la shareekulah. Allah is the greatest without any partners and la hawla wala qoota illah billah - there is no power and no might except with Him. I hope this passes the moderator standards 

Love to all &  
SisterC


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone

Wow lots of chatting while I have been away!

A big welcome for Butterfly   inshallah you will get to know us all and in time our stories inshallah. I really hope that things work out for you soon.

Re the young ones - infertility is never nice and to find out at a younger age is perhaps worse because that really should be when it is easier. Fertility is something which declines with age, and alhumdulilah the younger ones had the sense to get married young and find out what was wrong. If I, for example, had been married younger I would perhaps have found out about my fibroid at a younger age and regained SOOOOO many days. Inshallah we will all get our bambinos but we have to support each other to get through this horrible time.

SisterC   You've been through so much but in all honesty it is haram for your husband to take money from you which is yours. Remember in islam, his money is yours and his but your money is yours. As for not looking great when he came round, well we all look crap around our husbands at times that is just the way marriage is. Its not 'dating' that you can pick and choose what you like at a set moment. I agree with Soni that you need to deal with your needs first inshallah. Yes I pray that you do get your child but you must inshallah ask yourself that if your DH is talking about a 2nd wife will he be just (baring in mind that things do not sound fair for you), will he support you through the emotional traumas of pregnancy, birth, the period after birth and then the commitment to a child? I pray Allah(swt) guides you...  Forgive me if I sound harsh but your husband does not sound fair in your own words.

Flame - I'd defo go with DH to the docs. I go with mine, and he comes with me. Inshallah we see it as both working towards our child inshallah 

ShaSha - agreed with you twice! Inshallah it all goes well

Soni - a demain!

love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Snow - my mother was not muslim and she gave her inheritance to my father to buy a boat which he had always wanted so that he could have some relaxation. She was an invalid for 8 years, and subhan Allah that boat was a major part of Daddy's social life after Mammy died, bringing him enjoyment and social opportunities to make friends with like minded people. I looked up the price of a boat and a decent one is €25,000 which is his debts and because I am muslim it would be sadaqah and the best Sadaqah is what we spend on our families. The main reason Dh is in debt is because of his giving all the profit from the business to his family back home, and borrowing to provide medical treatment for his mother and brothers. He sees them as having more right to his money than me because I do have an alternative income. To be honest I couldn't live without it - I'd be a nervous wreck and I already have a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which alhamdililah are under control and my meds are working alhamdililah. I would like us to live together and share the housekeeping money etc. I would even be prepared to be the main earner and let him look after the children and the house, because he would be so much better at it than me. He could teach them tidiness and cleanliness from day 1, a training I am sadly lacking, seeing as my parents had servants and their parents had servants and I had no one to teach me the Arab way of cleanliness & tidiness. As a muslim I am a lot cleaner than many in my culture, but it doesn't come up to Arab or army standards and dh has a military background, whereas  I am a creative type and was reared differently. I know how to cook for a family, I know how to make left-overs into a brand new meal and I know how to clean a bathroom and make a bed. Dh won't let me cook for him except occasionally. In our family, cooking food for each other is a sign of love, affection and attention, and he won't let me give him these.

Make du'a for me  because he is in foul humour, throwing things about and shouting - I'm not sure what is wrong but he behaves like a spoiled 2 year old when he is under stress or angry with someone. I just wish he would talk to me or give me a hug. 

Please sisters        for me
C

PS Does anyone do Qiyam al Layl as an answer to infertility? What about black seed and honey? I'm surprised that these rememdies from the Sunnah don't figure more in our conversations.

C


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## flame

assalamualikum.w.w.

how are all my ff friends? hope ur all well!!!  its so nice to have a whole load of friends in this way where we all share the same sort of experinces. 

sister c - me and my husband are both indian muslims, i think its plain embarrasing/ shameful for any man if he is infertile never the less what his culture or creed is... on the other hand women are more open and can discuss these matters more openly. 
and regarding black seed and all that kind of remedies well ive had loads of cloves on which scholars have prayed and you eat 1 every night for 40 nights, and ive done lots of hakeem therapys but to no avail have they worked... but i dont give up ... i think qiyam ul lail is very beneficial but i'm no regular on that , however i'd love too.. i.a  


snow- i'll definatley go to the docs with my husband we always go to appointments together... and he prefers me to be with him for all his appoinments. i just wished the receptionist would add my name to the appointment, but never mind its not long now for thursday hey...

slms to all.  remeber us all in every prayer .

flame


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Flame, I never heard of scholars (or anyone) praying over cloves (or anything else) having a basis in the Sunnah. Are you sure this is not biddah?  I know rukkiiyah is from the Sunnah, as is Black Seed, Zam Zam water and honey, but I never heard about cloves in general and in particular cloves over which a scholar has prayed. What kind of scholar? Please explain this to me because I have serious doubts about this even being permissible in Islam.

My news the 3WW ended today with AF finally showing up. Does anyone else have to wait 3 weeks for AF? My 35 day cycle is a pain. I lose an extra week each cycle. So insha Allah I start my 9th month of Clomid tomorrow.

No other significant news. 

Love and  
C


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## DreamTeam

Salams

Sister C - Could you please explain the reasons why you are denied IVF on the basis of your mother's breast cancer 

lots of love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Ren, Are no chocs the reason for ur absence here or is there a secret mission going on?Hope all is well with you and u r not going mad on ur TWW!!!

Snow,Hope u r ok too!!!

Hope all of you had a nice weekend.

Sxx


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## DreamTeam

Salams

I think the secret mission is to try and buy all the worlds chocolate so that Ren has a good supply to get her through the credit crunch!!! 

Me not up to much, my tummy feels awful as I have re-started folic acid and it just does not agree with me  

lots of love

Snowbelle


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## soni

Salam snow,

upset tummy is not a good newsDoes it settle down normally or is there any alternative for such intolerence.........sorry me being nosey!!!

Love,
Soni


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## soni

Ren,I seriously hope and pray that Allah show ur sister the right path and give strength to u and ur family to deal with it accordingly.........Ameen!!!!!!

Heard u haven't had any choccies for the past 2 days................  Any withdrawl symptoms yet


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## soni

Wow ren,I didn't realise it really have some withdrawl symptoms.........................u were a true choccie addict!!!!!!hope u get over these nasty symptoms soon........................just thinking can u get some choccie patches(like niquitin)....hmmmmmm


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Ren - I think it is definitely the Clomid not the chocolate. Snow, I don't know why they are unlikely to give me IVF due to Mammy's breast cancer. It was the GP who told me so. Dh got loads of meds in the Middle east and lots of them are oils. eg. Fenugreek Oil, Thyme oil as well as the honey and herbs. He takes the oils orally. So I would say it is safe to drink the black seed oil though it is unpleasant.

let me know how you get on. AF is here but is so light today she's almost not here, yesterday for the first time in about 25 years I had period cramps.

I am in the country, studying and missing dh when I am not. My aunt's husband rang me by accident. We had a long talk which I was really glad of because he didn't come to my Walimah and has sat outside my house refusing to enter it. I'm not sure what exactly his problem with Islam is, but when I told him I miss him, he told me I was welcome to call any time. So insha Allah I will. It has been more than 8 years since I was in their house due to his dislike of Islam. Can't do dawah if I can't get in the door!! lol

Alhamdililah. May Allah guide my family to Islam, keep me firm in it and bless us all with pious children who will be a source of hasnah for us when we are dead and gone.

SisterC

P.S does anyone know how to get my tickers to show up here?


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## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum sisters

I just thought I would message you all as not posted for some time - Im still here - just lurking as not a great deal to report. AF is here as of today which is ok ( expected of course) as she came 2 days after I went to all-ladies spa at the weeked - alhamdulillah at least she let me enjoy that! 

Im a but upset at the moment as DH still cant find a new job - the job market is in a right mess. Just tonight he applied for another job but it said it had already had 63 applications and it doesnt close for another couple of days!! So dont hold out much hope on that but leave it in Allah swt's hands.   He is also at the same time trying to set up his business but having problems finding property - he did find one, seemed perfect, put an offer in but the landlord was difficult and refused his application. Even the estate agent agreed that he was not being reasonable - we dont know why but it wasnt to do with the offer in terms of monetary value....oh well Allahu Alim. 

Because of not being able to set up business yet or find another job for DH, we can;t move to a bigger place and so we can't start the adoption as planned in February.  So I continue to wait for relief from this hardship insha'allah = all I want is my family. No big flashy car or 6-bed house or designer clothes and holidays - just a family of our own. 

I also upset because I have fallen out with a friend - someone I had just got to know and had my integrity repeatedly called into question over an honest mistake. I have apologised twice for innocent mistake and confusion but it has not been acknowledged or accepted just repeatedly questioned on no basis. So I am really disappointed....this is one of the problems with the Ummah nowadays I think - we are too quick to judge one another and we dont make enough excuses for one another and are not merciful enough with one another. We are supposed to think the best of one another not the worst and my intentions were nothing but for the sake of the Ummah and the pleasure of Allah swt in accordance with his Deen. .......anyway...enough of a moan - just a bit upset thats all. Make du'a insha'allah that our Ummah stays united insha'allah and that we can overcome our small issues for the sake of the bigger picture insha'allah, Ameen. 

ANYWAY - enough of me moaning - its prob first-day AF hormones not helping!! 

Sister C i am glad to see you back with us and yet sorry to see that there are still some issues with you and your DH. I hope and pray insha'allah that you have the same blessing in marriage that I have been fortunat enough to have so far, by the Grace of Allah swt. Keep strong - I think you are doing amazing masha'allah. Keep talking to us as well and one day, you and the other sisters will have the peace and family that you want   insha'Allah.

Snow and Soni, Flame, all the other sisters you are in my du'a. Flame, let us know how your DH gets on on Thursday insha'allah. I miss Godswill!! When is she back?? 

Lots of love and du'a to all    

Iman xxx


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## soni

Salams Iman, 

Glad to see you back although bit sad to know that u r  feeling  a bit low......................I have to say that everyone is feeling the effect of current economis and financial situation..........It's just another burden and stress as far as I see it!!!!!!!!We all just have to be positive and keep praying for strength and patience for everyone!!I hope u r feeling better today  

where is everyone else?

me feeling lonely.........


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## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Iman I've never done this before but  .

"Fa inna ma alusri yusrah, inna ma alusri yushrah."
C


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## ShahShah

Salam sister hope you are all well,

Welcome to butterfly - i hope you find this site helpful, interestingly while doing my research I found that a lot of women in USA go to India due to the costs of treatment in usa, i dont know if it is an avenue you have considered but inshallah you are very young and things will happen for you  

Sister C - I am sorry to hear you are still in distress, I still think you are being very lenient on your husband...my heart goes out to you to hear you so upset.. but only you canamke the ultimate decision and what is right for you.  On the issue of black seed and other prayers, I agree there are a lot of duas you can do, have hakeems ( it is an indian thing - flame I know where you are coming from as am aslo indian muslim).  However my mum gave me a prayer to read 300 times a day for 40 days and after each you blow on something sweet.  At the end you both eat this, these are prayers of the prophet as both my parents are very well versed (unlike me!) and have stated that me and DH should both just do dua as they are for us and inshallah it will work.  You can go and see Alims and and others who will give you prayers to read and all of them should only be prayers taken from the Quran and many will suggest different things but at the end of the day it is down to the individual and Allah answers each and every prayer Ameen.  Sorry but I do not know anymore about this and do not want to tell any of you the wrong thing but just my experience.  

Ren - I have a ton of chocolate from xmas if you want it    

Soni - am going to use bridge too just for transfers my local place is good but my DH is against the immune testing and when I saw my acupunturist she reckons it is not working as I am always cold and i need to warm up my uterus, she is going to work on this and has given me disgusting herbs to take for next month only!!!!!

To everyone else my duas and salams, i hope we have some BFPs soon on this thread     xx


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Iman - so sorry to hear that things are a bit tough. I understand how you feel, DH's bank seems to be sliding into nothingness   inshallah he keeps his job. It could just be that the landlord turned down the application because he felt that it was a new business and things are obviously hard. Is there no way your DH could start his business from home first and then branch out to premises once he has something concrete to show Projected income is interesting but obviously if you can show that you have been doing something it looks a lot better. Also sorry to hear your friend is being strange. It happens to everyone... 

Ren - Well we celebrated our anniversary last night and for the first time in ages we had haagen daaz vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce          it was sooooooooooooo good. The really crap bit was, I only had a bit and I felt like I had loads and all this time I have been wanting to have a momma sized ice cream sundae!!! Back on the wagon now until Valentines day. I find it easier to stay good until a set date, as that way you have some hope 

Soni, SisterC, Shahshah, butterfly and everyone  

lots of love

Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

Ren - A really quick one - DONT TEST!!! Wait, patience!!!! Inshallah it will happen!!! 

Got to dash off now 

Snowbelle


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## flame

slms sisters

ren -  i hope and    its a    INSHA ALLAH!!  like snow said just wait a few days.... btw why are you stayin away from choclate?  i am a chocoholic i have to have a  bar a day.

sis c - hope ur problems with ur dh have eased 

butterfly - wher have you gone

iman - hope things are b8r for you?

i'm off to the docs today with dh, i'm gonna take a pen and note pad with me cos i can nvr rmbr wot they say after and im gonna note down all the questions i have to ask wen im there......  Please pray for us that all goes well...

slms 2 all
flame...


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## soni

Salams,

Ren woooooohooooooooooooooo,I know it's just soooooooo hard to wait but be patient atleast till 12dpo!!!!!!!!!  its a BFP......Ameen

Flame, Good luck to you on ur apptt today!!!!!Hope it's a good news for you too!!!!

Snowbelle, how r uand when r u testingU haven't updated ur diary recently......I hope it is a good news for u too....Ameen  

Shahshah, not long before u start another cycle..............how r u feeling?which clinic ur at??

Thinendometrium,where r u

Iman,how r u feeling now

Well I am finding it really hard to make a decision between FET or fresh cycle.........My frozen embryos are day 6 blasts!I am tired of making decisions so I am not bothered at the moment but sooner or later I have to face the facts!!Clinic has advised to go for frozen embryo transfer(natural cycle) but ARGC normally change it to medicated cycle which will cost around £5000,fresh cycle will cost around £10,000 with immunes and drugs...........what shall I do

Soni


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## soni

Ren,

I think u have tested early...............u r still in the game till AF shows!!!!!!!Just start praying a bit harder.......Allah is Merciful and will do the best for u.........

I am thinking of doing istikhara............insha'Allah soon.R u going to work soonwhen is Godswill back??

Sxx


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## DreamTeam

Salams

Awww Ren hun   inshallah you just tested too early. Personally I think that the whole TTC is quite technical and it makes us become mechanical and so we assume that at n dpo it will automatically tell us. Think about it all those relaxed 'normal' women who aren't TTC don't test for weeks after a no show AF then its positive. Plus I think my DH's penny pinching ways are rubbing off on me because I think there is no point in testing because AF always shows up and they cost so much. I'm determined the next time I'm going to test is if AF hasn't shown for 2 weeks - BTW don't forget to remind me of this when I'm climbing up the walls when I'm one day late!!!   


lots of love

Snowbelle


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## thinendometrium

salam my dearest sisters

Hope you're all well.

Butterfly- WELCOME! 

Soni- hope you can make a decision soon- Allah will guide you to the right one, and all the very best of luck for treatment.

Ren- it's probably too early, good luck for next few days, but either way you've got a couple of balls rolling and inshallah you'll get your BFP soon.

Iman- sorry to hear about your DH's job situation- may Allah sort out the perfect financial situation for you both very soon.

SisterC- hope that things are better with you.

Snow- belated happy anniversary.  May you have a lifetime of love and happiness.

ShahShah- hope you're well.

Flame- hope your DH's appointment went well and you got all your questions answered.

As for me, I'll be working a total of 140 hours in total between this week and last week and I'm SHATTERED.  I'm doing all this so that I can have an easier time (i.e. less hours) at work when I start treatment.  Speaking of which, AF arrived and I'll IA be starting my stimming injections tomorrow morning......................first I was super excited, and then I just cried and cried and cried..............I think it's the realisation that we are really at the end of the line and we are needing IVF...............it's all a bit much to take in.............as if it's the first time we've heard it.......I think it's because I kept pushing it out of my mind every time it was ABOUT to "hit me".  I will be alone when I inject because DH leaves very early in the morning. I think there will be plenty of tears (I'm not needle-phobic in any way and I don't mind injecting myself from now until the end of time if it means we can have a child, but it will be more of the same, the REALISATION.......).  Please pray for us sisters, desperately need all the prayers we can get.

Lots of love to all,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## ShahShah

Salam sisters 
Hope you are all well,

Soni - OMG is that what it costs at ARGC Cannot believe it, your frozen embies are on a really good day at blasts, i would recommend that, have you looked on the FET thread there are some very positive stories there, inshallah you will make the right decision.
I am going to my local hospital and then with Bridge Centre, have had my blood tests done and just need to wait to start down reg now.  Am doing herbs and acupuncture too.

Ren - i hope you get your BFP, maybe you tested too early!  
Thinny - good luck the injections dont hurt but can get bruising - (maybe it is just me!)  

Snow, flame, butterfly, sister c, thinny and everyone  

love shahshahx


----------



## flame

slms sisters

ren  and snow -u can get  cheap test sticks from home bargain.. i.a uve tested early and wen u tst again it will bfp...  

soni - thats a lot of money i think istikhara is a good idea..

thine - i guess its an emotional time for ... keep praying and do dhikr that will help u through

well our appoint went ok i didnt quite understand what he was saying but something on the lines of less motility but hes asked dh to do a blood test then he will refer us to a speacilist and we should recieve a letter in a few weeks...  just have to keep praying and hopeing 

slms to all...
flame...


----------



## thinendometrium

salam sisters

hope you're all well.

Flame- poor motility is not a problem that cannot be overcome, and i'm glad you've got the ball rolling on the referral front.

Shahshah- hope you get started soon and good luck.

Soni- hope you've made a decision.

I have officially started- had my first injection today with scan next friday IA.  The injection is not a big deal, but the whole thing felt like a very lonely affair.......lonely in the sense that I was thinking "normal" people don't have to do this....but then I thought of all the girls on this website who are going through it with me and all those who have had success stories, and most of all, I thought of how Allah has always been with us at every single instant in our lives and that just makes it all easier to stomach.

I now have another 3 days of horrible shifts and then hopefully things should slow down.

Wish you all the best and hope you all have a great Jummah and a great weekend too,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## FazWorld

ASA sisters,

me again.. AF turned up unexpectedly today.. 3 days early.. same as it did last month... This is the 2nd AF since BFN and both have been 25 days as opposed to my normal 28 day cycle. Is this just my body getting over what has happened.. or my body preparing for the next stage of my life? 
I can't stay away from the FF site, as want to know how everyone gets on.. but at the same time.. even this fills me with sadness that at least everyone here seems to have hope.. I feel I am at the end of the road now.. unless Allah swa grants me a miracle... 

Anyway.. dust myself down..and continue..

Soni, If I had frosties, I would go for that first. You never know, they might work at a fraction of the cost and save you heaps. And if not, well what is the point of having frosties, paying for them if you never going to use them?

Thinny, I was always asked to inject in the evenings, after 5pm, (my choice bieng 10pm) so that if I needed  a change in medication, the nurses had enough time to contact me, before my time was due. I always had DH do the prep and the injections - that way he could physically see what I had to go through everyday, and he felt he was a part of the procedure. Otherwise they feel totally removed and their only part is the 'enjoyable'(?) part in a room somewhere...so they prob can't see what the fuss is all aboout...

Ren, IA you can still get a BFP this month, but if not, just because your appointment for IVF is soon, don't stop taking the Clomid.. you never know.. it might still work in the months leading up to it and you wont need to do IVF..

Salaams to everyone else.

Fazworld


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Oh Ren - dont worry it will work just keep trying 

Does anone know what vits to take?  Am taking pregnacare only but have read to take co-enzyme q10 for lining  Anything else?  xx


----------



## soni

Salams All,

Oh Ren,R u sure it's AF not implantation bleed??Do u know how long is your luteal phase and when did u ovulate.10dpo seems early for AF and u might need to look into ur progesterone levels!!!!!I thing I am rambling now  

Fazworld,good to hear from you.......we all have hope and u too!!!!!It can happen to anyone at any time or age..........just keep praying and ask for patience!!!!!!!thats what I do........its just hope which is keeping me going,feeling positive and making me insane at the same time  

Flame,Atleast u are moving forward in terms of treatment...........hope all the tests come back fine!!

Thinendometrium,How exciting that it has started for you.........hope ur stimming phase goes nice and smooth for u!!!lots of protein and rest as well.You are so not alone .................. although we are not cycling with u but can understand ur feeling......just write ur thoughts or PM anyone of us....u will hav a response from us........  

Shahshah, not long for u as well......all the very best  

Iman, Maarias,KP, butterfly........hope u r fine!!

Well I haven't decided anything yet............will keep u posted.

 ,Soni


----------



## soni

Shahshah,

Our posts crossed.I am taking Q10(pre ovuation or ET) and selenium (post ovulation or ET) along with eskimo fish oil.

Hope it helps!!!!!!!


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  ,

Inshallah everyone is in the best of health and feeling nice and positive in anticipation of the future   Alhumdulilah I'm feeling quite good and positive about everything. I feel happy and quite dreamy  . Sadly I stumbled/tripped and since then my foot has been quite sore. So today I had to use my crutch   and then by 4pm I had to admit defeat and put my aircast on   . I go to see my foot consultant on Thursday so inshallah it should be ok... inshallah x 100000000000000000000 = no foot problems please.

Ren - I don't think that you should give up on the clomid so soon. Yes you have felt like pants (been reading your diary) but inshallah it will work but inshallah please stick with it   As Soni says inshallah it is implantation bleeding  

Soni - Good to hear that you are thinking about your options. Inshallah you will come to the right decision. As Fazie says it would be a shame to waste the ones on ice... 

Wow lots and lots of bambino creation going on, inshallah we are going to have lots of BFP really soon.

Lots of love and duas for everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

OMG Snow, I am so sad to read about your foot and going back to aircast!!!!!!!I seriously hope it is not for long and u r out of it very soooooooooon  ......Insha'Allah!!!!

Other than that haapy to know u r feeling positive!!!

Love,

Me.....


----------



## thinendometrium

Salam dear sisters

Hope you're all well.

Ren- I'd keep going with clomid if i were you, Allah knows, like the girls say, it may work before needing to move on to IVF cycle.

Snow- so sorry to hear about your foot, IA it starts feeling better soon.

Soni- thanks so much for your suppport.

Fazworld- keep PMA, none of us knows when ttc things are meant to work out for us.  Just keep up hope in Allah.

Lots of love to all other sisters.

I'm on day 2 of stimming and asides from frequent peeing, nothing to report! (keeping an IVF diary if anyone's interested)

Love and best wishes to all,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,
Well I've spent all of today in the aircast, I didn't even look at the swelling this morning because I thought it would just depress me  it feel crap and I'm dreading the visit to my consultant on Thursday. Prior to stumbling I had thought it would be quite cool saying I've proved you wrong I've only worn the aircast once (during the breast lump op) and that too for my own peace of mind. Bah humbug.

Soni   thanks hun, I'm hoping its a short stay here. I done so much hard work on rebuilding my muscle and its been painful I really don't want to loose it and do it again... BTW whats the deal with the eskimo fish oil  Is that for your psoriorsis?

Ren - Did it turn out to be AF? Or is all quiet on that front?? Inshallah  

Thinny - I will be reading your diary for sure. I think it is such a brilliant way to de-stress during this time.

Faz- inshallah it will happen

SisterC - inshallah you are safe and well

Iman, Shasha, Flame and everyone I have missed out

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Salaams girls

I just need to have moan and a cry   i'm afraid so please just bear with me...

Im feeling like poo.......just found out my best friend is pregnant. Love her to bits, happy for her, happy she hasnt had to go through the nightmare we have (she was TTC for 3 months) - but gutted. Gutted because I feel like I am left behind - im now the only one with no kids in my circle of family and friends. She will be in the group who talk about baby stuff, birth, pregnancy and going home early cos of her kids.....and i feel so alone. I can't relate to what they talk about, i havent any experiences to share myself - its just sounds alien to me and I wont ever know the things they chat about - i feel left out. Like the last kid that no-one wants to pick to be on their team at school! And now, as it will only be me - there will be more eyes on me and DH....at least the focus was shared beforehand.

I dont understand why this had to happen this way for me and DH. We have no answer as to why and no solution. And Im just sad.........

help me please and give me some words of encouragement because I just feel quite low and an absolute c0w generating bad feelings about someone else's joy........Even when we start the adoption process its going to take up to a year......if not more. How much longer do I have to wait? how many hoops do I have to jump through? I'm tired....

Maybe a good nights sleep would do me good - its currently 2.30 am and I should go to bed!!

Anyway no need to reply - im moaning to get it out of my system so I can carry on tomorrow - better out then in and bottled up. Theres no-one else I can talk to really apart from DH so sorry.

This was a very selfish message so sorry for that as well - Im thinking of you all.  Hope everyone is ok insha'allah.

love and du'a to all.....

xxxxxx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my dear sisters

Hope you're all well.

Snow- so sorry to hear you're still having a hard time with your foot.  Wish you a full and speedy recovery IA.

Iman- hun I know exactly how you feel.  We're in a very similar position as you and all eyes are def on us and as for feeling left out with talk and not know what they're on about..........been there, done that, got the t-shirt and still going through with it until Allah wills otherwise.  Chin up my sis, we all have our ups and downs and you've done the right thing by speaking your mind on here, we're all in the same boat and you're right, better out than bottled up.

Am having a pretty tearful day as well.  I think it's exhaustion and being emotionally tired from having to pretend that all is normal and all is ok even though we're going through the most major thing we've gone through in our life.

You are all in thoughts and prayers.  I really don't know where I'd be without you girls.

Lots of love and good wishes to all,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Iman  ,

We've all been there and inshallah it will get easier. Definitely let it out, we all understand and thats why we are here, to support each other . Alhumdulilah we have so many examples around us of people whom Allah(swt) has chosen to test(Ibraheem as, the prophets wife Ayesha ra never had any children), and this is our test. Look at all the people in the world who have so many children without any problems and yet they are unable to feed their children  . I 100% understand how you feel as it wasn't even a month ago that my best friend told me she was pregnant and they had been trying a month. For me, hearing how someone lost their 5 beautiful children in Gaza and survived the same attack really helped me to put things in perspective. Inshallah you have to be strong for yourself and inshallah you have to be even stronger for your DH. I can only imagine that if he sees how broken you are he will blame himself. Alhumdulilah, even closer to us, look at KittenPaws who now has beautiful baby after 7 + years of TTC.

                        
Lots of positive thoughts, love and hugs for you

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Thinny,
Sorry to hear you are having a rough time with the stemming (?) inshallah I'm praying it works for you and you guys will get your lovely baby (or 2 or 3) at the end. Please keep thinking about that.

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Assaalaamu alaikum ladies

Im feeling better today, thank you for all the messages. most days  i am fine but news like that, even though its wonderful alhamdulillah, sets me back. I think thinny when you said "Am having a pretty tearful day as well.  I think it's exhaustion and being emotionally tired from having to pretend that all is normal and all is ok even though we're going through the most major thing we've gone through in our life " - that is sooooo true......It is exhausting emotionally. So is it any wonder when we fall  a bit  apart? I hope Allah swt can forgive me for that.

And Snow, you are so right about what is happening in Gaza, it does put in perspective - May Allah swt help those poor people and give them sabr and  peace, Ameen  

DH has been really good - I dont know how he does it! Masha'Allah he is so strong  

Anyway I am going to spend today with him and pamper him lots!

Hope you are all well insha'Allah and you are in my du'a   

xx


----------



## soni

Iman,

I am lost for words but can totally understand you!!!!!!!

As you said I am now the only one with no kids in family and friends and have absolutely no idea if we will ever be able to be parents one day!!!I really hate being with family and friends at the moment and i think I do stupid things when I am around my inlaws especially just to avoid the subject...............

I can only pray for all of us and i am doing it............  

Soni


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaams my lovely sisters

Hope you're all well today.

Iman- glad to hear you're feeling better.  Alhamdulillah that your DH is strong- definite proof that Allah would never give anyone something they cannot handle.  Hope you had a nice day together yesterday.

I am feeling a lot brighter too, alhamdulillah.  I am feeling calm and relaxed.  Allah has bestowed me with strength once more.  Amazing.

I wish you all a lovely day and you are, as always, all in my prayers,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## flame

slms sisters.

IMAN  & THINE -  so sorry to hear you were sad but glad to hear ur feeeling b8r ...  i guess time heals but its so true how much it hurts emotionally, others dont understand that but i bet every 1 on ff can relate to emotional stress... and i so agree with you that men seem to handle it so much better.. my dh always says " when and if Allah wills it'll  happen" when my younger sis-in-law was pregant it didnt hurt but when she gave birth i cried big fat tears so i do understand.. and i think i am the only 1 in my circle of friends and family who dont have kids but has so many nieces,nephews and cousins... so not fair..

hope every1 had a good weekend!! praying for all.  slms to all!!!

flame!


----------



## Godswill

A'a'w'r'w'b dearest sisters    

I am back ....Allhumdulilah ...i had an amazing 2 weeks....i just chilled out mashAllah. 

I started work today my 1st day mashAllah. I am working closely with an autistic child...he is Muslim masAllah...not that makes a difference. He is sooo lovely mashAllah. 

Any way....sorry to hear Iman and Thin have had a rough patch...subhanAllah we all go through it, especially when AF is due. Allhumdulilah u are feeling better... 

A massive, massive congrats to sis KP....on the birth of ur baby daughter.. InshAllah u guys are doing well      

Ren my sweet... sorry to hear it didn't work this time...but i do think like the others u should give Clomid a chance....u never know my love! I pray u are well hun  

Snow hun....omg....ur foot is in an aircast again... i pray inshAllah it recovers soon. Hope ur appointment goes well on Thursday hun.

Soni dearest.... im sorry i cant advise on ur dilemma as i don't have a clue how this stuff works.... inshAllah Allah will guide u to the right choice.

Flame, hope ur ok to hun  

Sister c sorry to hear things have still not better..inshAllah all will be ok! Allah knows best!

Faz hug and duas  

sorry cant think of anyone else.....love and duas to u all my lovelies...

take care 

speak soon.

mwah


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams to everyone  

Godswill - great to hear that you are back and that you had a good time  

Iman - really pleased to hear that you are feeling better. Inshallah you will stay strong. Alhumdulilah I love FF and really thank Allah(swt) for us finding each other here and for supporting each other. Inshallah our strength will carry us all through this. 

Soni -  sorry to hear that you are still finding things hard. I know its horrible having to make decisions sometimes and yet sometimes making a decision is the only way to move forward. Inshallah you and DH are able to make the right decision for you. 

My bizarre confession of the day is that sometimes I read the bumps/parents forums as people's biography underneath you read the most amazing stories. Stories of people adopting and then suddenly a BFP, stories of nothing for decades in some cases and then it happens. Inshallah it will happen for every single one of us, just don't give up. All very easy for me to say I have been the biggest moaner last year but inshallah I can try and cheer up everyone who is feeling down while I am on an up!!!  group hug!

lots of love and duas

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom to all my sisters

Welcome butterfly.

Iman - Allah is the most merciful, go easy on yourself, I think you are judging yourself more harshly than you would if another sister wrote what you wrote... if you get my meaning.

Ren - clomid does affect my period but after 9 months my body seems to have got used to it. Alhamdililah the bad mood swings and 'PMS' all the time have stopped, but (TMI) it is gone by day 6 now and used to stay until Maghrib on day 8. Also the flow is very very light and I only get one day of real bleeding, usually the 2nd day. It gets easier after 3 or 4 months.

Snow - insha Allah foot will be fine

Godswill - welcome home

Faz - every moment of every day there are miracles and Allah is the best of PLANNERS...

Someone asked for a translation of what I posted in my last post - it is from Surah 94 Al Ash-Sharh and means "Verily, along with every hardship is relief, Verily along with every hardship is relief." According to the "Noble Quran" translation this means that with every hardship is 2 reliefs, so one hardship can not overcome 2 reliefs. The whole surah is translated as follows

1. Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muhammad)?
2. And removed from you your burden
3. Which weighed down your back?
4. And have We not raised high your fame?
5. Verily along with every hardship is relief
6. Verily along with every hardship is relief
7. So when you have finished (your occupation), devote yourself for Allah's worship
8. And to your Lord (Alone) turn (all your) intentions and hopes

My news on the fertility front is that dh does not want to go back to the hospital, so no IUI for me. Just Allah and Clomid and faith. Hasbin Allah wa nima wakil. (Allah is the only one on whom we can depend and he is the best of protectors)

When my bag was stolen they took my du'a book "Fortification of the Muslim". It had Arabic, transliteration and translation for each du'a. If any one has a spare copy please send it to me. Just pm me and I'll give my address.

May Allah reward us all for our pain, whether it is physical or emotional. Amin.

Regarding the sister in Gaza who lost 5 children, masha Allah. She is guaranteed Jennah, as is any sister who loses 3 or even 2 children before they attain puberty. May Allah comfort her. Amin. 


According to  the explanation I learned about this hadith -even miscarriages count but I'm not sure if the foetuses have to have had the Ruh breathed in by the angel before they count.


When I was on Hajj I prayed in al Rowda - the piece of paradise on earth, and it was a very tranquil experience even though there were literally milllions of us moving around. Alhamdililah for that opportunity and that blessing and may Allah accept my Salah and my du'a, and forgive my sins and reward me and you all with Paradise, amin. Insha Allah if we don't have children here, we will have them in Paradise. Now we just have to work on getting IN to Jennah...

SisterC


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam dear sisters

Hope you're all well.

I don't think I know sister KP, but CONGRATULATIONS on your baby daughter.  May she one of the mu'mineen.

Godswill- welcome back and glad you had a great time!

Ren- hope you are feeling a bit more positive today.

Snow- really do hope your foot is better now.

Soni- hope you're well.

Sister C- great post, thank you.  I am finding myself constantly thinking of all the special and Holy places that DH and I prayed in when we were in Haj, and the Rowda is one of them.  I also think of Arafat and Muzdalifa and Mina and the Kaaba itself.  I find it very soothing and relaxing to close my eyes and just re-live those experiences, and then I am filled with positive thoughts and vibes.

I have started added the second injection today.  Now just need to keep going until Friday and we will IA see what they say about follicles and endometrium.  Please pray for us.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Thinendometrium x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams all  

Just back from physio and my lovely physio has been prodding my foot here there and everywhere confirming that I have not damaged it. I seem to have had a set back so inshallah I will be able to regain the strength that I have lost etc. I think I'm just very very paranoid about my weaker foot. Inshallah it will get soon.

Thinny - inshallah it will work. I don't know why I get so excited when one of us starts treatment. Anyway I am sending you loads of positive vibes etc. Have you been reading the prenatal care board. Some of the ideas aren't for me ( I really don't seem to be able to cut down from 3 cups of tea / coffee a day) but others are really good. There seems to be lots of chatter about consuming more protien, drinking lots of water etc etc. Inshallah its all good. 

Ren - I like what Sister C said, just stick with clomid. If James Bond can dust himself off and start again so can you!!! 

Soni - where are you  Hope you get some answers soon. Inshallah we need to do coffee soon, just I have LOADS of hospital appointments this week!

SisterC - Khair inshallah  


love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Hope u all are good.

SisterC , good to hear from you.....still praying for u  

Thinendometrium,read ur diary earlier,great to know that u r feeling positive............just keep this attitude.I personally find stimmulations exciting as I feel I am doing something to overcome infertility and then tend to loose all my positivity in 2ww due to my anxiety and impatience........just want it to work no matter what and therefore can't stop thinking about it and put my life on hold!!!I hope and pray that ur positivity continues for next 9 months and beyond  

Snow,good to know that ur foot is not bad and u will overcome this problem soon.Yes Insha'Allah we will meet for coffee soon!!!

Ren, how r u and where r u update please!!!

Godswill, hope u r ok and enjoying ur new job  

Iman, how r u??

I am suffering from  bad migraine since last night and nearly overdosed myself............took 8 paracetamols   as pain was so intense but it is much better this AM although still feeling bit woozy.............don't know why it started in the first place.DH thinks I am thinking of something but not sharing with him  .Anyways me going to take it slowly today.Feel very bad as didn't even got to gym this AM   

Love,

Soni


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam sisters

Snow- really glad you haven't caused damage, alhamdulillah.  

Soni- so sorry to hear about nasty migraine.  I'm a migraine sufferer, so really can empathise.  As for gym- I haven't managed to go for months now! So don't worry about missing one day!

Soni and Snow- thanks for positivity and good vibes and good wishes. And it's nice to know that someone I know is reading my diary. I decided to do one to have somewhere to spill my guts and also to look back on on a day to day basis or even in future.  Alhamdulillah Allah has bestowed this PMA on me these days- must be the end of my night shifts at work! And being a lady of leisure for few days!

Love and good wishes to all,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## aasha1

Asyah said:


> Salaams
> 
> Thanks for your messages.
> 
> Does anyone know islamic rules etc with IVF? I've done my research on the internet and found that we can do IVF, but with a female doctor. That for me is near impossible, because I found my perfect consultant after 10 years of agony with endo and PCOS. I know its the right step, and im very excited but what if having it done by a male doctor is wrong?
> 
> Hope your all well and smiling.xx


Wasa asyah

i have been considering ivf for years...did the research and found that you can only be treated by a male dr in matters of emergency...life and death and only if no female dr available...as ivf wasnt in that category i turned down argc although they have good results, their only female dr had left and i cant risk having a man do my scans or treatment...have now found the create clinic in wimbledon..they have many female drs and staff and ensured me only a female practioner would treat me and i wont be uncovered infront of any men..

also..the islamic ruling is that you can only be inseminated by your husbands sperm and vice vera (i.e no egg donation to be inseminated by another mans sperm or another womans egg being inseminated by your husbands sperm..etc)
Hope that helps.
good luck
aasha


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams and a big welcome to Aasha  

Glad you finally got here!

Inshallah the others will be along soon to say hello!

ws

Snowbelle


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Soni - thanks for the prayers, much appreciated.

Welcome Aasha.

I went for my acupunture session today. No more cupping on my back. She has moved on to treating the pain in my left knee, and help with smoking cessation. She put 4 seeds in my ear and I have to press them when I want a cigarette.

It is time for BMS but I can't get dh to tell me whether he wants to try this month or not. I'm in 2 minds myself, especially since I started Weightwatchers and the gym again. I have only recently realised how very obese I am. I didn't 'feel' fat and I didn't check the mirror. Now I hate my shape and size. Insha Allah I will lose at least 52 pounds this year.

Please keep me in your du'as.

Love to all
C


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

Inshallah everyone is feeling positive and inshallah everyone who is undergoing treatment is taking it in their stride  

Alhumdulilah DH and I went out today to celebrate our anniversary and had a lovely day together. I've been having my folic acid every other day and that seems ok at the moment. I'm really hoping that it works inshallah so that I can stop taking folic acid (    )! I'm trying hard not to fall off the folic acid wagon!lol! 

Ren - Sorry to hear that AF is giving you trouble, I'll probably be there later this week. I just can't be asked to think about it at the moment! 

SisterC, Iman, KP, Aasha, Thinny, Fazie, Soni and everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams again

Does anyone know what selenium does in TTC?

thanks

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Snow,

Selenium helps with implantation in females an improves sperm quality/motility in males as far as I know!!!Please feel free to correct me  

Also I think u asked about fish oils so yes it helps with my psoriasis and also reduces natural killer cells in the body and protects embryos from these killers hence reducing the chances of miscarriage in case of conception.

hope u all are doing great!!!

soni


----------



## FazWorld

ASA ladies,, hope you are all well.

Just wanted to say salaam and welcome to the newbies.. and to the not so-newbies  

AH AF is almost over.. so can start using my pre-seed... Told DH I had a new lube I wanted to try out. He said I didn't need to. I was well chuffed.. till he said it would have been diff if I new to it all, but 'this one seen some action!!!!'   yeah? well mate only from YOU so quit complaining!!!!

Wasn't for the lube action anyway (as AH I have enuf - sorry tmi) but more for the fact that it is said to help 'swimmers', as very 'swimmer' friendly... 

aaah.. the things we ladies do..

For the lady who was worried about seeing a male doctor.. you can see a doctor in the order of female Muslim, female, male muslim, male for medical reasons. I went to the Lister and initially had male doctors, but this time for scans was lady (only have lady scanners), for EC I requested a lady and she came down specially, and for ET I requested a woman, but I thinik for ET they have mostly women anyway. Just ask them. If they don't have lady docs, then at least you have tried!

Love and duas for you all  
Fazworld


----------



## soni

Salams everyone,

Fazeeee ,great to hear from you!!!!!!!!enjoy preseed.................weve been trying with it as well but no luck so far!!!  

Ren,how r uso are u getting a new laptop?no long for ur IVF apptt now.are u excited  

Snow,good to speak with u........are u testing soon then  

Thinendometrium,good luck for ur scan tomorrow  ......hope u r feeling better now.

Godswill,how r u and where r udid u see gynaec in Karachi and what did they suggestupdate please!!

Iman, how r u

Maarias,where r uu might be starting soon as well  

Aasha,welcome........looking forward to know u a bit more  

SisterC,hope all is well  

Flame,what r u upto

Well it looks like that I have finally managed to find a job and will be starting soon...............I just cannot believe it myself.I am excited about it and DH have finally agreed to it as well so we are having a break from a treatment for the time being.Again I am not planning anything and will be praying for Allah's guidance for our future.

Love,

Sxx


----------



## Godswill

Wa'alaykum assalam w'r'wb everyone...   

Snow ...its nice to hear u and dh had a good time celebrating.   How are u hun?

Ren... nice to hear ur being positive  

Thin...how is it all going....i read ur diary...wow its nice to hear ppls experiences. I pray insAllah everything goes well tomorrow. Thinking of u    p.s what is ur job? I couldn't do nights?

Faz...inshAllah the preseed works and gives u a BFP.

Soni...well done on the new job hun....so when do u start....?? So u guys have decided to take a break from assisted ttc... inshAllah u have made the right decision. Allah will guide u inshAllah.  

Pak was good....to be honest it was a trip were we didn't do anything... all we did was eat, sleep oh and eat. No shopping (very little) it really was a chill trip!!
We decided not to see a doc out there. I got there and just thought i don't want to do this. I wanted the trip to be a trip with out thinking of ttc...i said i will just see what the docs say in Feb inshAllah.

My job...i really am enjoying it.. i wish i had done it years ago...but oh well... qadar Allah! I went on a course today ...learning about Autism...subhanAllah it really was an insight into their world. I have 7 more sessions to go. I go along with the mother of the child....so we can work together. The kids are amazing....they are soo cute mashAllah. They come up with the most amazing things.  The most amazing thing is we are off every 6 weeks. wooohooo  

Can u believe i have been going to bed at 9 all this week...lol its hard work working with kids...lol lol
Anyway enough of my ramblings....speak soon.

love and duas to all.

xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

I'm very glad that it is the end of the week, feels like I have been very busy for the first time in ages. Alhumdulilah I saw my foot and ankle specialist yesterday and he said that my run in with a shopping trolley hadn't done any damage to the bones, just aggravated it. So that is fantastic! Feeling a bit blah today, I was so warm in bed this morning I really didn't want to wake up. I saw my dietician today who made a point of saying I'm soooo young to worry about TTC and I've got plenty of time. It really makes  when people say things like that because if it were fine and nothing to worry about I would have my brood by now and I wouldn't have the obstacles that we are having. Other than that she was fantastic and really helpful, in terms of me consuming more iron and folic acid.

Soni -   I think it is brilliant that you have a job! Its sooo cool. Inshallah it has come at the right time for you. Both Mr Snow and my mum were really pleased when they heard your news! I'm not going to test, unless AF has not appeared for 2 weeks!!! AF is due tomorrow. Thanks for info re sellenium (pineapple juice and brazil nuts) I knew where to get but just forgot what it did 

Ren -  007 all the way!

Thinny - I've been reading your diary and learning so much  

Godswill - So pleased to hear you are enjoying your new job. Just proves we have no idea what is around the corner. I'm also really pleased that you enjoyed your holiday as a holiday  . I love holidays!!!

Fazie - good to hear you guys are trying something new. What is preseed? 

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters,
godswill - welcome back, nice to hear u had a great hol!!!
snow - hope ur foot is gettin better, good luck with the folic
ren-hope alll goes well with ur appointment
soni - good luck with the job
faz - whats pressed?

havent replied in a while but i have been reading posts everyday

we rang the surgery and we were told that DH's blood tests were all fine however my husband has been refered to a urologist.. so we should recieve some post soon for the appointment.. i guess we'll have to take it from there.. but it makes me wonder whats gonna happen next and what exactly is the problem and if theres a cure for it...

slms to all and welcome to asha
flame...xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Flame  

Inshallah no news is good news   inshallah they will be able to help. Don't put so many what ifs infront of you - it becomes hard to handle!

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## Iman

Assalaamu alaikum ladies

Sister c - I did have spare copies but I have just looked ( fortress of a muslim du'a book) and think I gave them away insha'Allah. But here is the online version http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/ alhamdulillah for you in the meantime til you get another copy insha'allah. Sorry to hear your bag got stolen. Sorry alos about the IUI - maybe DH will come round?? If not, have faith in Allah swt - for every hardship there is relief! ameen.

Soni - congrats on the new job!!

Godswill - welcome back!! we missed you! Gald to hear you had a lovely time alhamdulillah. And also congrats to you on your new job also! masha'Allah, I do some work in schools and its a great environment 

Snow - sorry about the foot but good news its not more serious alhamdulillah!!

Flame - try not to worry sis. We saw Urologist Dr Ramsay at Charing Cross - where are you?? May Allah swt grant you ( and all of us) sabr in abundance insha'Allah.

R4k - how did you manage to smash the screeen? ! Hope you are ok insha'allah. Sorry to hear AF was a pain - hope you feel a bit better now insha'Allah

Salaams and du'a and love to all the other sisters! Faz, Thinny, welcom to Assha  ( as usual Im sure I have forgotten someone , please forgive me! )

Im off to see my family this weekend. Just staying in tonight, painting and about to munch some lasagne! mmm mmm

xxxx


----------



## DreamTeam

salams

Ren - so sorry to hear about your sister, inshallah she will come home. Praying lots for her safe return  


love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters,

i went to a gaza charity bazar yeasterday and it was very interesting and painful to hear about our brother and sisters in Gaza, the guest speaker was yvone ridley and she mentioned 2 stories which really touched me deeply and i would like to share them with you, firstly she mentioned a young girl around the age of 5 who was killed by israeli soldiers outside her home when her family tried to come out of the house to retrieve her dead body they were met by lots of isralei guns forcing them to return back inside they carried on doing this for some time as they watched from the window waiting for a chance to retrieve the body, then they set free some dogs to eat her dead body... astagfirullah... this is what they are doing to our brothers , sisters and children YET we carry on drinking COKE, carry on shopping in M&S..etc you might aswell drink the blood of a palestinian child....
second there was a mother who had 10 children they israeli soldiers coming there way so they all hurdled round there mother the israeli soldiers came into the house and told the mother to chose 5 children to give them up to israeli bullets , how can any mother chose? how can anybody chose? if i put 25 children infront of u which 5 would you chose? so the mother never spoke and the soldiers shot dead 5 of her children infront of her and infront of the other 5 children..
she mentioned so many stories, but i cant mention all but she stressed to encourage friends and family to boycott certain products that support israel funds like sainsburys, tesco, m&s, starbucks nestle, huggies, revlon, maggi, kotex, l'oreal,nescafe.... there is a whole list of items which you can find on http://www.inminds.com/boycott-israel.html 
she also told us to check the origin of fruits and veg we buy in supermarkets as they are from isarel to and to kindly tell them that u wanted to purchase this item but as it is from israel and due to the circumstances you will not buy them... 
i hope they organise more presentations like these cos it brings awreness into our communities it was organised by Ummah Welfare, May allah reward there efforts and grant them strength and means to carry out this wonderful work...
i hope i dint bore you?
hope ur all well...
slms to all


----------



## KittenPaws

Dear All,

Its been so long since i have been on. I just have found a few mins in my day to let those who havent heard that Alhamdulillah on the 8th January I gave birth to a little baby girl. 

Love to you all, i hope everyone is doing well and would love to catch up soon, 

always in my duas

love KP xoxoxo


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

I hope everyone has wrapped up and gone out to play in the snow                                           

I dragged DH out of bed this morning to come to the park with me (across the road) to take photos of the snow  

This is brilliant

love

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms, 

hope your all enjoying the snow!!!

please can some one tell me about thin's diary i havent a clue what it is where it is yet every1 seems to be enjoying it! i would love to join in and learn to!!!

still waiting for the uroligist letter ! In the mean time we have to do another SA, dh doesnt know yet as i rang the surgery this morning whilst he's @ work!!! hope his ok bout it wen i tell him! LOL!

slms to all and a BIG   to KP on the birth of her lovely Daughter, may Allah grant you both iman, health and many years of love. Ameen!

slms to all!
Flame! xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams

To read the diaries go to main area and scroll down to IVF diaries and then you'll find the diary. In the same way if you look up clomid diaries you'll find Ren's and mines in TTC naturally although I haven't written much recently! Its members diaries which is just above religion and fertility.

ws

Snowbelle - still loving the snow


----------



## KittenPaws

Salam ladies, quick one again from me. Jzk for all your well wishes. ITS FREEEEEEZING ladies! lol

Hope your all keeping warm. I was out there with my mum (who is very excited as shes never seen snow before!) lol made a very ugly snowman.

Ren- We named her Ammaarah. How are u sis? 

Lots of love to all 

xoxoxoxo


----------



## ShahShah

Congratulatuions KittenPaws on your baby  

Salams to all - hope you all enjoyed the snow....  i walked in to work and took me over an hour!!!  MY DH would not go out and make snow angels with me so i told him I would bury him in the snow and leave him there!!! 

Love to all xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams 

Where is everyone? Looks like everyone has been snowed in without their computers  

AF came this morning which is   but that just the way it goes, onwards and upwards inshallah


love

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my dear sisters

I really hope you're all well.

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in a while, but in the thick of treatment and have just managed to keep up my diary entries.

Thank you so much for all your good wishes, it really does mean A LOT to me.  I never forget you girls in my prayers.

Flame- my diary can be found this way: Index, Member's Treatment Diaries, IVF Diaries,  and my diary is called 'IVF-First IVF- Antagonist Protocol-Gonal F'.

Well, am feeling totally awful today. I have almost given up all hope. Had EC yesterday and got 10 eggs- no idea about quality or maturity of them. Today's call from embryologist said that only 3 had fertilised normally.  I'm distraught.  My cycle buddies keep saying that it's quality and not quantity but I can't help feeling that none of them will make it to tomorrow and that this cycle is all over for us.  Allah knows best though, and I must keep remembering that.

Please keep us in your prayers in the next couple of days- we desperately need it.

Wishing you all the very best.

Lots of love,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## flame

slms sisters,

hope and pray ur all well, 

snow - so sorry to hear bout AF, inshallah next month we'll hear good news! oh BTW talkin bout snow im glad its clearing, i dont want anymore snow it makes going out such a chore! LOL!

ren - how are things with your sis? hope all is well! i pray for her safe return. Rember when yousef A.S's brothers threw him in the well Yaqoub A.S made great patience and he was rewarded in great ways, May AllahSWT grant ur family Patience Ameen!  oh and lucky you getting a new laptop!!

thinny - don't lose hope! youve gone through this far with Allahs help and every1's Duaas, I.A we'll all keep prayin 4 u!! keep strenngth and courage        .    oh and thanx for diary info, i'll read it after i post this. I.A

slms to all 

Flame! xxx


----------



## Godswill

Salam all...


how is everyone...??

Ren my dearest....sooo sorry to hear about ur sister running away...its not easy hearing news like that.  My niece ran away when she was younger, don't be quick to judge her....there may be a good reason....we found out y my niece did it and we were horrified....may Allah make this time easy for ur parent and all those concerned. Ameen
wow a new laptop....inshAllah it will arrive soon  

Snow...sorry AF arrived.....i guess onwards and upwards,inshAllah nxt moth!

Kp, nice to hear from u...mashAllah a beautiful name mashAllah.  

Thin...hun plz remain positive inshAllah 3 is good....and inshAlah they are all good quality ones.  

Soni, flame, Imaan, shahshah, faz, sisterc  

Well i think its my turn to feel slightly  , AF is due next week   There are mashAllah 3 pregnancies in the family and a very dear friend has just told me she is pregnant too. I am happy for all but i cant help think, will this get any easier. Last week i found out about a family member, when i was told it felt like a punch in the stomach....i wasn't upset that she is pregnant....i just couldn't help think, its never going to happen for us   i just feel everyone i know....all our friends, all have kids mashAllah...we are the only childless couple. SubhanAllah....i trust in Allah and i thank Him for all i have but i am finding this extremely hard...i just feel i don't know what to do anymore....
Sorry about the rant...i needed to let it out!

Take care all 

love and duas


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone,

I'm feeling really crap today. AF is hurting a lot more than normal, added with the fake 'burrowing' pains last week, I feel crap. Everything was quite slow to get started but the pain isn't reducing  . If we hadn't tried so much last month, I'd be quick to pop the neurofen and evening primrose oil - but part of me is holding on to a tiny drop of hope...and if that is the case I really shouldn't take them. Inshallah. I'm also really scared that if isn't then do I have another thing wrong with me?   Inshallah everything will work out for the best. Inshallah I accept Allah's (swt) will, and inshallah I'll have the patience to get through this.

Ren - Inshallah your sister makes contact with someone soon. I'm sure she had her reasons, as Godswill says don't be quick to judge her when she comes back inshallah. Inshallah where ever she is, she is safe, warm, secure and free from harm.   Great news on the new laptop  

Godswill -   I've missed you - its so cool that you are back!

Flame   Sorry to hear you don't like the snow - but I'm sure it likes you!  At the moment courtyard downstairs is a giant sheet of black ice, the main road is ok but the pavements are slippery! DH is petrified I'm going to end up in Fracture clinic again - as if!!!

Soni Missed you   inshallah coffee (with you not drinking any) soon inshallah. I'm very excited about your new job! 

Iman, KP, Thinny, Shahshah, Fazie (we need snow stories - it must be your LOs first snow?) SisterC and everyone  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## al154m

Salam Ladies.

I have been a silent reader on this board for a number of years, but have been following this
muslim  thread for quite some time now. I would like to share my story with all you lovely
ladies out there, giving you a bit of hope. I was inspired by many stories and want to share mine 
with you.

I had been married for 2years, got pregnant and had a vry early m/c at 6wks. I started trying again and nothing happened.. Had 2 failed IUI's and decided to head for the ARGC by this time i was 4years 
into my marriage. I had my appointment in Jan 2008 the consultants had a incling straight away that i
would have a immune issue, i went on holiday came back and started stimming 31st March. 

As it was my first cycle i didnt have any idea what to expect other than reading other peoples experiences.
I must admit the clinic in itself was a very busy, get-down-to-business, no fancy coffee/tea machine  clinic. The staff and doctors there were ever so helpful. The success rates obviously spoke for themselves.
The only negative, keep giving your credit card with your eyes closed.

After 5years my beautiful boy was born january of this year. I was in this position, reading this forum last year, and god has blessed us with a child this year. Everything has a time, eveyone has to wait for something or other in life. All the lovley ladies on this board, insha-allah your time will come, i never ever thought mine would, i still look at my son and cannot thank god for giving me him. I always use to think that my husband would get married again and  have children with someone else, but all these thoughts go through a lot of womens minds, god had blessed us and will bless you all. Dont give up hope keep on reading this  dua, this helped me get through everything:-

Rubee laa tazarnee fardan wa anta khairul waariseen. I use to go to bed reading this and in the morning sometimes the tusbeeh would still be in my hand...

Last year 3 people very close to me got pregnant one after trying 12years, one 8years and one nine years, 2 have got beautful baby boys, the third one is expecting twins soon insha-allah. God does listen, it may take time, it did for all of us. Never give up hope.

I wanted to share my story to give you all hope that insha-allah when the time is right, god will make your dreams come true, as he did mine.

Lots of love

Uma
x


----------



## Godswill

Wa'alaykum assalam w'r'w'b dearest sisters...

Welcome dearest uma....jzk for ur story....we always need positive thoughts and stories which have resulted in a BFP. May Allah bestow His mercy on us all and guide us to what is halal and good for us...Ameen We look forward to getting to know u much better inshAllah.  

Reeeen  ...wow tomorrow. I pray inshAllah it all goes well hun. Time indeed has flown by....subhanAllah. In regards to ur parents...may Allah ease their pain and bring ur sister safely home inshAllah. It is really difficult dealing with teenage girls...may Allah guide her...ameen
I knwo my appointment is not far away....i too remember when it said 3 months....i thought i would never get to this. At least hubby has booked half a day, this time he is going with me....so thats a relief. To be honest i dont know what to ask...! So help would be appreciated....Its my follow up from my lap and dye....?

Snow, soni, Flame,Iman, an others... ...where are u??

Thin hun hope all went well today inshAllah...look forward to catching up on ur diary inshAllah.  

Take care all.
Love and duas


----------



## soni

Salam All,

Wow so much is happening around here.............good to see u all chatting  .

Thinny, Congrats on being PUPO.......Thats the hardest part of the treatment where u have no control over anything.stay calm and hope we have a BFP very soon .

Snow, How r u todayhope u r better and feeling positive    

Godswill,good to see u here.Good Luck for ur apptt.if they haven't found anything in lap/dye they will probably discuss the next step which could be IUI or IVF/ICSI depending on ur hubby's semen analysis.My advise in case with problem with semen analysis would be going straight for ICSI rather than wasting time on anything else.I know it's expensive but it will save lots of ur time and also frustration of waiting for things too happen.Also from my own experience going for IUI(negative cycles)just filled me with so much negativity that i couldn't be excited about my IVF later which may have affected the outcome IYKWIM  .Let us know how did it go  

Ren, All the very best for tomorrow  .Hope it goes very well and u also have some very positive and hopeful news to share with us  .Don't be scared and intimidated with everyones experiences as we all are different and our circumstances are different too.I always see it as a step closer to me being a mummy and completing our family.Keep focused on the destination and don't bother about the journey even if its painful.Try and make it as memorable as u can and enjoy it.Hope it all make sense yo u as i feel that I am rambling a lot!!!  

thanks UMA for sharing ur journey............very inspirational  

Flame,where r u and whats happening on TTC front

Hope Iman,sisterC,Maarias,Kittenpaws and the rest of the gang is well  .

I am starting my job on Monday and am very nervous about it.These past few days have been very busy organising the paperwork and stuff!!!I gave blood samples to ARGC earlier this month as DH was very keen on exciting treatment asap but then this job happened and I forgot about it.The day I had a confirmation of the job ARGC called saying that my hormone levels are perfect and I don't even need any immune drugs and can start treatment asap.........PERFECT TIMING HEY  .so I cancelled my treatment and took this job oppurtunity.I am trying to stay away from here so I can concentrate on the new adventure as these treatments always give me hope but I just can't face another negative cycle so I think I am running away from the whole saga atleast for the time being.Will fall into trap very soon knowing myself   but excited about the extra money in my hands on spend on myself!!!!

Take care and speak soon,

Love,

Sxx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my dearest sisters

Really hope that you're all well.

I want to thank you all for your kind comments and for keeping me in your thoughts- I feel very passionately about this thread and each one of you ladies is always in my prayers.  To say that I appreciate your thoughtfulness is an understatement.

Uma- WELCOME and CONGRATS on the healthy birth of your son.  Thank you for sharing your story- it really gives us hope.

Aasha- with all these hormones on board, I cant remember whether I said this before, but WELCOME and wish you luck with your treatment.

Snow- sorry your AF has been so evil this time round.  Hope it's subsided now and that you get your BFP soon and get a 9 month break from her!

Soni- CONGRATS on your job and wish you all the very best for Monday.  Glad to hear you don't have to worry about immune issues and whenever you feel ready to hop on the rorllercoaster that is treatment, I wish you the very best and hopefully it will only take one more to give you your BFP.

Godswill- thank you for being so kind and for your lovely private message- it meant the world to me and was a serious boost to my mood.  I wish you the very best for your appointment next week.  I agree with Soni, they will probably speak to you about options for treatment.  I have never had IUI and have not had to live with the disappointment of negative cycles of IUI, but I would have thought that it does not hurt to start with the most 'natural' process first and then move on to less 'natural' methods if and when they are required (and hopefully they won't be).  But ultimately, it is going to come down to what your doctor advises (as they should have all the information about your case) and what you and your DH decide based on the information and options that you're given.

Ren- really hope that your sister arrives home soon- she and your whole family are in my prayers.  Hun, please don't be put off of IVF because of my diary- that's not the intention behind my diary!  I just wanted to make it as factual and detailed as possible for the benefit of people who will be going through it in future so that they know that others have gone through the exact same processes and exact same emotions and have made it out of it in one piece.  It is intended to show that IT CAN BE DONE and YOU CAN DO IT.  It is absolutely understandable to feel daunted at the start and that is only too natural a feeling, but honestly, despite all the ups and downs that we've been through in the past 15 days, I can honestly tell you that DH and I are excited most of the time as we feel that this is the first REAL attempt (i.e. an attempt that has a chance of working) at ttc and we may well get our baby as a result of it, as compared to all the ttc naturally that we did, which as we now know, was fruitless and would never have had a chance in working.  So it feels like we are actually at an advantage as compared to those trying naturally, as we are hoping and praying and 'involved' deeply in the process of creating our baby.  If Allah forbid this does not work, I would not hesitate at all to get right back on the rollercoaster and do it all over again, and again.  I wish you the best of luck on your appointment tomorrow.

Sister C- hope you're well and that things are going well with your DH.

Kittenpaws- hope you're settling in nicely in your new role of a mother and that your DD is doing well.

Marias- haven't heard from you in ages, hope you're well.

Fazworld- hope the new stuff you're using helps you guys in your ttc journey.

Flame- hope you're well.

Iman- you're always an inspiration to us, hope you're on a positive.

Shahshah- all that walking in the snow shows real dedication! And if it's any consolation, I didn't get to play in the snow AT ALL.

Butterfly- how are you hun? Hope you haven't flown away, long time no hear.

All other lovely sisters, hope you're all well.

Please keep us in your prayers, as we need all that we can get.  Official test date for us is 17th February inshallah.

Lots of love and good wishes,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## flame

slms,

thin- have been reading your diary.. inshallah we hear of a   very soon! i dont know how you manged to empty half your bladder and carry on! WELL DONE!! 

ren - how did your appointment go?  hope all is well!! Be positive     insha allah will help you through and grant you  

umma a big welcome and thanks for sharing your uplifting story!!

soni- talking bout treatment well my DH has to repeat the SA. so thats been booked AGAIN (about the 4th time) for next wednesday afternoon. and he has also been refered to a urologist but were waiting for an appointment letter.  i'm hoping his appoinment is not in the half term week (as i'm off to my mums for a break and i dont wanna miss it!) My Mums got a slipped disc and she's having an injection to ease the  pain on feb 17th so i told Mum that i'll come and help look after her, dad & my Brother (he is mentally disabled, 40 years old) as Mum has been told to rest for 3 days after injection! remember me and my family in your Duas!

some times the  road feels like such a long and grey one! but i guess i just have to take each day as it comes.. i'm glad ive found this sight to help me through.

w/s 
Flame ! xxx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my dear sisters

Hope you're all well.

Ren- really hope your appointment went well.

I just wanted to pop in and say that I'll be off for long weekend.  Wish you all a great weekend and hope to catch up with you early next week IA.  DH booked this weekend away for us and I'm really pleased- hopefully will help me forget about this slooooooooooooowwwwwww 2ww.

Lots of love and best wishes,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Sorry it has been so long since I was in touch. As usual I get the names mixed up so I'm not going to do (m)any personals.

Something weird has happened to me. Since dh has said he does not want to go to the clinic any more I have been much less focussed on ttc and more relaxed. I actually felt glad last month that I got a BFN because I want to lose 52lb weight this year, and have sworn to do it. I don't think I have ever sworn before in my life as a muslim and I know that if I don't keep my oath there is a severe reparation to make.

I didn't go to the city this weekend because of the snow and bad road conditions. Dh was going on about a 2nd wife, but he came down the country just to visit ME yesterday. We had been talking on the phone about solicitors and next thing he's down making nice with me. Interestingly, his MOTHER had told him to come to me. Alhamdililah she likes me. (Also her husband took 2 other wives and wanted a 4th one at the time of his death, so maybe she knew how bad I was feeling). Dh has admitted he can't afford one and I am confused by him coming to visit me, and putting his arm around me and calling me "love". I had my mind made up that now he has given up on ttc I would ask for divorce after my next AF if I get a BFN and told him so. I had everything worked out down to the end of my iddah...now I am confused again and have to pray istikara again.

It is strange with ttc not taking over my whole life any more, and belief in Qadr is making me calm. Subhan Allah. I have to test next Friday and then if it is a BFN AF will be due to arrive a week later. I have to decide what to do about my marriage because I had decided not to ask for a divorce depending on dh taking ttc seriously. Now he's not but I don't feel "Right, that's it. I want out of this marriage" which I would expect to feel. My head and my heart are in direct conflict. I spoke to a sister recently and she gave me the best advice I've ever heard "Whatever you do, do it only for the sake of Allah". Just thought I'd share that with you.

Mabrook to Kittenpaws. 
Please all of you keep me in your du'as.
SisterC


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

I've been feeling really awful the past few days so have been pretty much on a form of bed rest   Alhumdulilah I'm feeling a lot better now so inshallah good health from now on.

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters

snow- sorry to hear u were ill- glad ur feelin better hope uve fully recovred    

sisterc - hope all your confusion is made easy for you

hope everyone is good!!

ren - best of luck with the ivf

i'm still waiting for the appointment letter, every morning im on the alert for the postman but nothing to date yet...

hope u all had a great weekend!!!
slms 
flame! xxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam everyone hope you are well, I have been lurking on the site.

Ren- dont worry you will get used to your bloodtests, that is nothing wait till you start the process!   

Soni - did you decide on your frozen embies yet? I am starting my treeatment hopefully this week when AF arrives, will start down regs, this time am determined will work!  Have given up all my fav food and have stopped coffee and tea, it has been so hard esp without my morning fix!  

Hope everyone else is well take care 

love and duas shahshah x


----------



## Iman

Salaams ladies

How are you all? Snowbelle hope you are feeling better  

Sister C you are in my du'a. Did you get the link to the fortress of a muslim a few pages back? Insha'allah those du'a give you comfort. I dont know what to advise you - but belief in Qadr will certainly see you through insha'Allah.

Ren - congrats on the IVF! OmG you must be so excited! Dont be nervous - embrace it and keep positive! Will be watching your journey xxx

Flame - how are you doing?? hope you get appointment letter soon insha'Allah!! Chase it up if not! 

Well we are ok. We've had a rough few weeks - but hey whats new?? DH had a mini-meltdown at the wkend. Not working is getting to him. We are applying for jobs all the time - pls make du'a he at least gets an interview to boost his confidence insha'Allah!! We feel so mentally exhuasted but we are very close alhamdulillah and Qadr is taking us though it all. I got quite down at the weekend too as my circle of friends diminishes as they all move across the 'pregnant or mother' club and dont go out any more, dont want to meet up. How wonderful it must be to have a home full of children - instead of alone which is how I feel in our little flat sometimes!! But I picked myself up and called some people havent seen for ages and will be meeting them insha'Allah next weekend - so something nice to look forward to! I also have a ton of painting to do as some charity events coming up and need to submit at least 2 pieces for each of them!

Pls remember us in your du'a and make du'a that my hubby gets a job or his business off the ground insha'Allah so he can feel good about himself again. What with the Psoriasis, the TTC issue that has left us where we are, and not being able to find another job or premises for his business, he is feeling pretty cr*p about himself and much as I hate all we are going through, I hate to see him like this.

Still i try to remain positive though and not be ungrateful. I watched documentary on Gaza tonight - may Allah swt help those people, Ameen. Whatever we are going through it is nothing compared to that. May Allah swt bring his justice to their situation and all those around the world who suffer so badly at the hands of others, Ameen. SOmetimes it makes me wonder what kind of world our children will live in one day......... 

Much love and du'a

xx


----------



## thinendometrium

Salaam my dear sisters

Hope you're all well.

Ren- congrats on getting started on the IVF journey VERY SOON.  Wishing you the best of luck.

Shahshah- starting soon too! How exciting!  Wishing you the best of luck too.

Flame- hope appointment comes through soon.

Snow- hope you're fully recovered.

SisterC- sorry to hear of your dilemma but doing what is best for Allah sounds right.

Iman- really pray that your DH gets a job inshallah.  

Soni- how's new job? Hope it's good.

Godswill- how are you hun?

All others I haven't mentioned   .

As for me, back from great weekend where DH pampered me silly and I ate LOTS AND LOTS and relaxed LOTS AND LOTS, but none of it took my mind away from 2ww.  Please sisters, please don't forget us in your prayers- only a week left for testing.

Lots of love and best wishes to you all,
Thinendometrium x


----------



## flame

slms sisters

hope your all well. you are all in my   ers.

i was reading through lots of threads and have so many questions in my head.. sometimes i guess its better not to read alot as it confuses you..    

well today DH had to re-do another SA, which i hope was enough this time     

its so difficult to perform the test for him and then waiting is so difficult for me ! he doesnt seem to think about it after its done! on the way to the hospital he says his prayers and hopes all is well but after that he shows no feeligs towards it.... and i cant stop thinkin about it ..

AND.. were still waiting for the appoitment letter,, i guess it hasnt been 3 weeks yet so im being impatient...

anyhow i was wondering if DH has no sperm or less sperm but his blood tests are all ok wot does that mean? does it mean that there might be a blockage? is that treatable? or am i being impatient again     silly me
i probably am not making any sence  

better go to bed ! take care to all my ff friends !!       to all

Flame! xxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

Iman - I found the Fortress of the Muslim on ebay and have bought 3 copies

thin - making du'a for you

Soni - how are you?

Flame - insha Allah the SA will be better, if not get dh referred to a Urologist or Andrologist

Kitten - I'm not sure if I said mabrook so I'm saying it again now. Mabrook!

Sisters I am really feeling your du'as. Subhan Allah since we have stopped  offiically ttc alhamdililah my marriage has gone back to the way it was in the beginning. Dh has been down the country to visit me twice this week. I'm having my shower, getting dressed up, putting on perfume and make up - things I can't do in the city because of the lodger, and feeling like I did on the first night of marriage. Alhamdililah dh is pleased with my weight loss - he said "you lose good, that's why I came". Subhan Allah I think he is finding me attractive again (insha Allah, because I was feeling fat and unattractive). It is such a turn around that I feel slightly stunned. One thing about my marriage is that it is ALIVE - something is always happening! and my dh is so unpredictable that I am slightly bemused by this change in him. It is never boring! Now I have to find something to keep him here longer. Hasbin Allahu wa nima wakil.

Of course I still have Clomid in case AF shows up. Insha Allah I test 2moro. Dh doesn't understand why I test but it is because I can't bear 3 weeks wait and if I do get a BFP I have to stop taking one of my medications and I wouldn't like to unknowingly put an embryo in danger. But I will not tell him I tested unless it is a BFP - I am tired of telling him the test is negative. Tired of crying when only one line shows up. And my SIL is pregnant again and she is only 19. I haven't had a chance to talk directly to her yet but I think she will not be pleased because she is not happy in her marriage - her husband beats her. Please make du'a for her.

I can't remember whose sister has run away but insha Allah all will be well.

Love
C


----------



## DreamTeam

Asalam alaykum everyone  

Inshallah everyone is doing really well. Alhumdulilah there have been lots of movements/progress and that is really great   No news on our front, but March seems to be coming closer and closer, whatever our fate I can't really fight it anymore. I can't change what is going to happen to us, and I guess part of that is accepting the way things are at the moment ie that it is just us. Inshallah it happens but I've really got to stop letting myself run away with my belief.

SisterC - Subhan'Allah, so good to hear the happiness in your voice (your post!)
Ren - How did you IVF meeting go?
Flame - I think in most cases doctors are able to assist in the improvement of swimmer quality. I think feeding your DH brazil nuts helps
Thinny - praying it happens to you, your diary has been very graphic its scary how much you have had to go through
Iman - Inshallah your DH gets something - its not easy at the moment
Soni - Hope you are loving the chance to get out and fire out orders!
Shahshah - Hope your treatment is going well

love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## thinendometrium

salaam my dearest sisters

Hope you're all well. I think and pray for you everyday.

I don't really know what to say, so I have decided to paste my diary entry for today- really, really sorry so long. I want to thank you girls for all your support and your good wishes- really means the world.
_
I don't really know where to begin. We slept well past 1am. I was still very bloated and uncomfortable. I found myself awake around 4am.

As a side point (but quite important to the story) I remember DH asking me yesterday "are you still waking in the middle of the night to pee?" and I said yes. Also, although we have been given a home pregnancy test by the clinic to use on our official test day on Tuesday, DH and I wanted to use a First Response for our early testing. DH and I had decided to pick some up from Boots yesterday, but we didn't get a chance to do so. So DH asked me yesterday evening "so when are we going to get a chance to go to Boots?" (as we had plans for the majority of Sunday morning and afternoon). I had told him that we'd have to find a half hour somewhere to nip over and buy a pack.

So having this background information, now you can hear the rest of the story.

I was awake 4-ish and was thinking that I should probably get up to pee as although I didn't desperately need to go, I would eventually get to that point shortly. I just tossed and turned in bed and my mind was racing. Just before 4:30am, DH woke up next to me. Then the weirdness began.............

DH asked me "do you need to pee?" and I said yes. He said "let's test now then". I was still out of it and confused. I said "oh, what makes you say that? Why have you changed your mind?" He said that he's not changed his mind and that this has been the plan in his mind all along. I didn't quite understand this, but I wasn't going to be refusing any offer to test early, I was dying to find out one way or the other.

I then woke up a bit more and said "but we don't have a First Response", to which DH said "yes we do". Apparently he had picked some up on his way home from work yesterday morning. I was surprised but still too out of it to make a big deal of it.

So I told him that I wanted to do my usual prayer ritual (I have been doing the same little few minute daily prayer that I was doing whilst stimming, every day and I always wanted to do the same ritual prior to testing). But by now, I was so fixated on peeing, it was seriously hard to wait 5 or so more minutes and before we knew it, I was bursting to pee. DH got the stick out and read the instructions whilst I prayed. I then told him "hurry, I'm going to pee my pants". So he then says "do you want to pee on it or in a cup?". For some reason, I decided to pee in a cup. We didn't have any disposable ones, so DH got a mug that we will not ever use again.

I rushed to the loo and was so full, it was a total nightmare as the mug overflowed (sorry about too much information). Anyway, I was so out of it and so confused and nervous all at the same time, that I stayed on the loo and DH whipped the stick out and before I knew it, he had dipped it. He rested it on the window sill behind me. He towered over me and I just held on to his hips and started crying. I was so scared and was so helpless and felt like my whole life was out of my hands and that it will all be over for us very soon.

The seconds passed like hours and when DH didn't make a move or say anything, my heart sank and I began to sob like a crazy woman, hysterically. Then suddenly DH picked up the stick and put it in front of me and said "look, is that a second line?" and OH MY GOD, the second line was coming into view and then it was properly visible...........................A BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!!! We hugged and sobbed and smiled and it was the weirdest, most wonderful feeling in the world.

I was still on the loo! I didn't the energy to get up. DH is so cute, he ran and grabbed the digital camera and I was wondering what he was planning to do.......................turns out he wanted to photograph the pee stick! He took several shots, on different backgrounds and in different modes! He wanted the most perfect shot! How sweet.

Well, I eventually managed to get out of the loo and we couldn't stop looking at each other and smilting and hugging and just saying silly things that i no longer remember as it all seems like such a blur now! We then both, individually went off and did a little thanksgiving prayer. A BFP on our first treatment? With the non-high grade embies? WOW, WOW, WOW!!!

Well, we stayed awake and had breakfast (I didn't really feel like eating as some nausea funnily kicked in, and I don't know if it's because mentally I now no longer put it down to constipation!) and we just stayed awake- sleep was a distant thought!

We just chatted together and hugged and chatted and smiled and hugged! We then decided that we will tell our parents (they don't know about our fertility problems) about the BFP today!!! We had previously thought that because of the high risk of things not going right in the first 12 weeks, that we would tell them sometime after the 12 week scan. But we changed our mind this morning. We were ITCHING to tell them! We decided that should, God forbid, something does go wrong, then they would understand if we are then on a downer.

So we went over to DH's parents and we told them- they were over the moon! My mother-in-law said, out of nowhere, "I hope it's twins"!!! My parents and siblings live abroad and they've all gone away for a long-weekend away to another city. My sister is the only one who knows about our IVF and I knew she'd really want to know (she's been calling me every single day to see how I'm doing) So I called and woke my poor sister up from sleep and told her. She was happy but said that we shouldn't tell anyone until I reach 3 months! I told her that although we had previously thought that, we would like our parents to know, so I asked her to let my parents know. I wonder how my mum and dad reacted?

We are definitely on cloud 9 and don't know how to be thankful for what we have been given. We know that we shouldn't worry about what is going to come, as hopefully all will be fine, just have to have faith.

I want to thank you all SOOOOO MUCH for all your prayers and your lovely private messages during our difficult times- it has been so heart-warming to have you all rooting for us. I really wish every single one of you to experience the happiness that we have just experienced today. Just stay patient and stay positive.

As for updates on symptoms, very horrible lower back pain for majority of day so far. So much so, that we had to look it up online for reassurance. Apparently it can be an early pregnancy symptom as bubba(s) is(are) snuggling in and making him/her/themselves cosy and stretching out my womb. Bring it on i say! Stay and make yourself/selves as cosy as you need for the next 8 months- mummy and daddy ADORE YOU.

Lots of love and best wishes to all,
Thinendometrium x

Ps- in the interest of avoiding being told off by clinic, we will be calling them on Tuesday, when we were supposed to be testing, so we can tell them the result and so we can book a scan for 2 weeks time!!!_


----------



## thinendometrium

Forgot to add this to the bottom of previous post:

pps- forgot to say, that I later found out that DH was always set on testing on Sunday and that he didn't want me to worry all night (i.e. a sleepless night on Saturday night) so he just went along with my suggestion of Monday.  He later apologised for this cunning plan, but I told him the truth, which was that I was PRAYING he would be more encouraging towards Sunday morning!  Thank goodness it worked out like this, as we've had the most wonderful Sunday EVER.


----------



## Iman

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Wow!!! 

Alhamdulillah masha'Allah - MABROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!! 

Thinny - Congratulations congratulations sweetie!!

Ooh we needed some fabulous news!!

Enjoy every minute -you so deserve it!!

Much love and du'a xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Iman

p.s. you've actually made me quite teary!! such a touching post as well thank you for sharing that special moment with us xxxxxxxx


----------



## ShahShah

WOW congratulations I am so pleased for you, your firsttime this is fantastice news   xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Thinny     

Congratulations party in the mussie room!    Alhumdulilah that is absolutely brilliant                                 Inshallah you have a happy healthy pregnancy and inshallah a safe birth.



lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

masha allah a great BIG CONGRATULATIONS !!!! @@@@ **** xxxx **** ~~~#~~~~###  

its so nice to have some good news... Lets hope and   theres plenty more


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams 
Where is everyone hiding    

love

Snowbelle


----------



## Godswill

Salam all...

Pray everyone is doing well inshAllah.  

MashAllah excellent news Thin....a big big congracts to you and hubby. It has mad emy day to hear such great news. May Allah contine to bles su both an dmake the nxt 8 months easy for you and grant you a rightious child/ren...Ameen  

Ren hope ur sis has arrived home safe and sound and ur parents are ok inshAllah. Not long for  you to go inshAllah.

Soni hope work is going well inshAllah.

Iman ...hope ur hubby is having more luck in regards to work and health...Ameen

Snow...hows the foot....whats nect for you? U waiting for ur appointment in March??
Flame...has ur appointment come through??

Sisterc, Kp, Faz...love and duas to you all.

I had my appointment today...basically everything came back all fine in my Lap etc...so now they want to try me on Metformin (i need to look up on this as havent heard of it b4)...she said this will bring my prolactin levels down, amongst other things...she didnt think it will work as i do ovulate etc.. but she said they dont really know what else to do...so i will take these for 4 months and then inshAllah go back for my next consultation. 
So i will make dua to Allah...as i cant pray at th emo and then take it from there inshAllah. Allah knows best. 

Any way love and duas...

Mwah


----------



## FazWorld

ASA...I'm here - lurking   

Congrats Thinny.. IA may you have a wonderful 9 months ... 

Did I tell you guys that Alhumdolillah, my work place have allowed me to change my hours so that I start at 9.30 (kids and DH drop me at station on way to school). I then leave at 2pm (my lunch break) get back in time to pick the kids up by 3.15.. then start working from home at 3.30 till 6pm. 

Masha Allah it is fantastic as kids get to see me and I them much more whilst I still do full-time work, not part-time - tho it is very very hard work. They have provided me with their own laptop to use and going to try and get a Blackberry out of them as well 

I figure, if I may not be able to have any more kids.. then make the most of these whilst they still young. Ma they already 5, and i don't know where the time has gone. If this is the only chance I get then I need to cherish it as much as possible. Of couse I will still keep trying tho  

Salaams to everyone, Ren, Snowbelle, Iman, SisterC, flame, Soni, Godswill and anyone else I have missed.

Fazworld

P.S 
Ren congrats u on the way to treatment AH. 
Godswill, can i suggest that in the next 4 months you try the vitamin regime as well.. that will really get your body ready. This woman says that she can sort out many issues with the right ingestion of vitamins.. tho it didn't work for me, maybe it did the first time? Look up Foresight preconception in Google and have a read.


----------



## soni

Salam everyone,

Huge Congratulations to thinny,   ........Insha'Allah u will have the safe next 9 months and beyond!!!!Ameen.

I have lost track of everyone................just don't have enough time these days  Going back to the work was the biggest shock to my whole being but this job is for next 3 weeks only and then I will move forwards....My FIL was also living with us since I started work so busy with family too!!!!  

I initially thought I will forget about TTC for the time being but have to admit it's always there at the back of my mind...........even at job lots of pregnancies and new babies.....just feel so odd about it all........i just want to have my own babies  

Ren,hope u r excited about it all............Insha'Allah it will be ur turn very soon!!!

Snow, are u planning a holidaywhats ur plans in March

Godswill, great to know that ur apptt went well............u never know it may happen naturally in next 4 months.Metformin has sorted many people out!!!

Iman, how r u

Fazee, great idea about enjoying ur children............so are u planning any holidays

Any news on Maarias and KP

SisterC, hope u r ok too!!!

fLAME,Isobelsnowdrop,shahshah,hope u all are fine too............shahshah is ur treatment started alreadyBest of Luck!!!

Hope I haven't missed anyone..............love to u all,

Soni


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

I have been lurking here on the site, hope you are all well

Soni - yes I have started treatment am down regging at moment and then start my injections in a weeks time.  Please pray for me that it goes well I dont think I can go through another round of ICSI again.  Have decided to go to blastocyst transfer inshallah we will get there.  How are you have you decided what you are doing??   The down reg is going ok apart from a few mood swings no problems.

Ren - i thought you were still trying the clomid?  I pray your treatment  goes well now we have had some good news with Thinny maybe it is the start this year 

Hope everyone else is well my salam and duas to you all xxx


----------



## flame

slms sisters,

how r u all? i'm back afta 1 week at my mums, which was a nice break   to get away from ttc   But
this morning my dh rang the surgery for his sa results and the receptionist said it was abnormal and we have to wait for a letter from the uroligist, it has been 4 weeks since referal but the receptionis says it could take up to 6 weeks so were still waitng. ive also got dh to take wellman every day!!

shah - best of luck with tx hope all goes well      

ren - best of luck to you too    

lots of love and best wishes to all

Flame, xxx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Inshallah everyone is well. Sorry I haven't been around much, I've been feeling quite unwell since last AF. I had blood tests and got results today which say that I have anaemia which is a bit blah. Inshallah my symptoms will go away soon, so until then I'll be munching iron!

Anyway love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters,

i have been checking this thread regularly , however it seems like every1s busy busy!

i havent posted as theres not much happening in my life. I'm still waitng  for the appointment letter. its gonna be 5 weeks monday and the surgery said to wait 6-8 weeks. GOSH thats a long time to wait....

hope everyone is well       for all

thin- how r u ? hope alll is well

slms to all sisters


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Where is everyone?  I have also been checking the thread but have been so busy with family, work and down regs that cant keep up with anything at moment.  Am still on down regs and will start injections probably next week.  Have not felt bad at all as last time did this my mood was up and down but seems to be a lot better this time i dont even worry about it 

Hope everyone is well 

love shahshahx


----------



## Maarias

Salaam ladies,
I'm sorry not to have posted for a while - and so haven't kept up with all your news.
I am not great, but got a pep talk from sis yesterday saying I had to try again, else I'd regret it in a few years...
I am doing natural FET with our remaining blast at the Lister this month - doing most of the scans at a satellite clinic which close to my mum, so much more relaxing.
We may have one more fresh go later this year, but otherwise am just focusing on ds, who turned 3 in Feb, and counting my blessings.
Hope you are all doing ok?
Mx


----------



## Maarias

Sorry, just read a few of the posts, and wanted to send a HUUUUGE congrats to thinny!!
Vow, wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!!!
First time lucky!
Mx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams all,
Alhumdulilah I am slowly getting better - just very exhausted / drained trying to build up my iron levels. Inshallah I'll get there, we have our appointment on Wednesday so doubt they will have something to say about things.

Shasha and Flame inshallah things go well for you guys

love to everyone

Snowbelle


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

Well we had our appointment post HSG and with my notes!!!  (the last couple of times I've been note-less!)
Anyway we have a plan at last! But lots of things to happen before then. Essentially I think we are now working towards IVF but I need to loose more weight another 6kg before anything invasive can happen(   ) bah humbug! 

I have to get my hormone blood profile done again. The doctor is also very concerned about the anaemia and my coeliacs. So has recommended iron injections. Hope that makes up for all the blood that they take.  Also my cycle could be an issue for concern as it seems to be getting a little bit long (now veering towards 33 days) - and I was just happy that I had gained a few more days!!! 

So essentially I need to join a weight loss boot camp!   The plan of action is possible clomid, maybe IUI (I wasn't keen as I haven't heard of lots of successful births and she said the success rate is only 17% ( )), so we are talking IVF.

Regarding DH, varicole(sp ?) doesn't affect his swimmers or fertility so thats good. Just amused that his first SA was a perfect 'poor' analysis and now his second SA is perfect 'normal' which is strange as shows big ground for fluctuation. Obviously feeding DH the sesame seeds paid off!

So all in all a long day. If anyone has ideas for boot camp let me know!!!!

love and dua for all

love

Snowbelle


----------



## soni

Salaaams everyone,

WOW Snow, great to know things are progressing......................I have no idea about loosing weight though apart from exercising which i hven't been doing myself recently  .I am surprised that they are worried about cycle length because since IVF my cycles are 32 days long and nobody has mentioned anything to me  Goodluck to you and all the very best!!!

Shahshah, I hope u r ok and ur cycle is going well................update would be great!!!  

Maarias,good to hear from u............when r u going for FETanytime soon??

Ren,how r u and not long for u now as well............what r u doing these days??

Godswill,where are u?It's been long time since u have come here...

Thinendometrium,how are u and an update post BFP would be great!!

Iman.hope u r ok sister and had a blast yesterday  

SisterC..........all well

Kittenpaws and whoever I have missed.............lots of hugs to you !!!

I've not been well recently and have been off work since past 2 days.Got a bad chest infection and on antibioics but recovering now Alhumdullilah!!!!nothing else is happening on my end.My SIL gave bith to a 9lbs baby yesterday without any pain relief.....both are doing fine Masha'Allah............it's their 3rd baby and we were little sad yesterday for ourselves but grateful for the fact that nothing is majorly wrong with either of us and still have some hope if we keep trying.Just keep us in ur prayers for extra strength as Masha'Allah 4 new babies due in late March/April.

Lots of love,

Soni


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are all well.

Soni - have started my injections now and is going ok apart from the bruising.  Am having acupuncture also so hope will help am praying it will work this time.  
Ren - how are you?  Have not heard from you.  
Everybody else hope yu are well salams to all x


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom dear sisters

Mabrook Thinny!! May Allah bless you with a healthy happy pregnancy and a pious child at the end.

Ren - has your sister lost touch with everyone in the family?

Alhamdililah I am very well. I have given up smoking alhamdililah. I prayed istikara about divorce and took a sister's advice to heart. It was so simple but so effective. She said - "whatever you do, do it solely for the sake of Allah". Funny but with everything going on I had lost sight of that basic belief. 

Subhan Allah, my marriage has improved, my health has improved, my iman has improved, my ibadah has improved. Alhamililah, when I prayed istikara and thought "what is for the sake of Allah?" - subhan Allah - it was like a blinding light, and I felt a huge burden lifted from my shoulders. I decided to stay in my marriage for as long as possible as I married for the sake of Allah in the first place, and the tests that I go through are good for me as Allah does not test anyone beyond their capacity. I knew I had made the right decision almost immediately as I was overwhelmed with happiness, and spent several hours alone in the bedroom, just enjoying the feeling. It was like on the day of my Walimah all over again.

I took the Clomid this month but dh is abroad for OV days. I asked him to see about bringing a baby here that we could raise. Does anyone know anything about adopting Palestinian children? Or Iraqi children? 

That was another blinding light moment - when I realised that my wanting a baby was selfish. I was thinking of myself. Now I am thinking "what can I give" to a child, any child who needs me and a home...

I don't know if dh is going to come with me to the next clinic or if he is finished with ttc, but insha Allah I'll keep hoping and praying and ACCEPTING the Qadr of Allah. 

Thank you Iman, Soni, God'swill, Flame, Shah, and all of you for everything

Keep me in your du'a
SisterC

By the way I also am getting acupuncture - I've had a course of 10 sessions and am thinking of getting another course. Any comments?


----------



## sloughcrew

Asalam alaikom dear sisters and brothers

i have one question and hope someone can point us in the right direction... which I have asked to to others, but nevery really got  definate  reply to..
my undestanding is that the ivf process is permissable under certain conditions ( man and women in marriage, emyros/follicles from wife, and sperm from husband), which is fine, but whats the ruling/understandng  of frozen embyro transfer ?


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Slough - as far as I know all assisted reproduction involving only the biological egg & sperm of the married couple are allowed. If the embryos are a result of man & wife, what is the problem?

Sisters, You will not believe this. Alhamdililah, my dh and I are now trying to adopt one of his neices or nephews! I am so excited.

SisterC


----------



## sloughcrew

Asalam alaikom sisters/sisters

sisterC -  thanks,  my wife is currently going throgh her second IVF process and on Monday, inshallah, the egg collection will be conducted, and embyro transfer a few days later.....we may  have the option of possibly freezing some embyros for possible use at a later time - but some brothers/sisters have told me that embryos should not  be frozen, but used only striaght away...others have taken your view point that as long as the assisted reproduction involves the biologlogical egg and sperm of the married couple ....


----------



## ShahShah

Asalamalaikum sisters

Hope4 you are all well.

Ren - That is so funny     Who told you they swab your backside for MRSA  I do not know how your hospital works but that is not the process, after AF if you are ready to start you begin down regs, then at the end you have a blood test and scan to see if you are ready forinjections.  Is a painless process, then you start injections- during injections you have blood tests and maybe 3 scans to see how follicles growing, depends on your clinic.  It is all painless and inshallah you will be fine.  I hope your well and your family are bearing up  

Sister C - am glad things are going well for you - mashallah I hope things work out well.  

Snow - I agree with Ren, if your BMI is under 30 i think you can still have it.  I'm the opposite as they intially told me my BMI was too low!  

Soni - What's happening?  Did you decide to go back to ARGC?  

Slough crew - Welcome are you having your treatment at Jinemed i Turkey?  I was planning on trying this place are they any good?  

Everyone else I have missed my duas are with you
shahshah xx


----------



## sloughcrew

isabel snow drop..

this is our secnd visit to the Jinemed in Istanbul....
last year we came for 3 weeks for (stims, EC, and ET) and the misses had a positive pregnancy result,  but unfortuntaley, there was no sign of a heart beat at the 12 week scan,,
we are back again( but this time, we had stims  in UK, which was monitored by a local private clinic ) and have come across for the EC and ET ) as we feel comfortable with the consultants and the processes  here at the Jinemed, its a nice place, but theres no place like "home " .   A handful speak english at the jinemed (all consultants, and 1 IVF co-ordinator ) and you have to   an insight in to what they are doing and why they are doing certian things (e.g  why they lower level of stims, why they try to conrol e2 levels, what size of follicles they are trying to achieve, etc etc etc  ).....i ask , ask, and ask or read. read and read


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Welcome to Isobel snow drop and slough crew! Inshallah you get there!

SisterC - Wow! Lots going on for you . I'm really pleased to hear that your marriage is settling and that things are working. I don't know what adoption is like in Ireland, but in the UK there is a lot of regulation and really is not as simple as bringing a kid over to the UK. In the UK before anything happens you need to contact your local authority/independent agency and do a home study, once you have done that and been approved then they tell you what you are suitable for ie age of child, number of children etc. There are lots of unfortunate stories of people attempting to bring over nieces/nephews from outside the EEC and then the children going into care because the 'new' parents weren't approved. I know I sound very negative but please research Ireland's regulations on overseas adoptions (have a look at the adoption board). Alhumdulilah adoption is a beautiful thing, both Mr Snow and I are very keen to adopt but because of the way the system works in the UK we need 'exhaust' our options first or have our family first or promise not to have our children. I'd be really keen to know how you would get a child out of Palestine though  wouldn't it need clearance from Israel first?  

Ren - you make me laugh   yes hospitals do an MRSA test to prevent infection spread but the swab can be from anywhere. I think generally it is the groin area with a cotton bud! No panic!!! 

Ren and Shasha - unfortunately during my anaemic month I have put back on a lot of weight - by namely being stuck on the sofa and being force fed iron rich food and I now weigh 85kg!!! That makes my BMI above 30. I need to get my weight down to 79kg to get the 30 BMI. It is pants as when I last saw them I had got myself down to 81kg.  Alhumdulilah my foot is quite good now so I just need to ditch the anaemia ie the dizziness then I can start exercising!

Sloughcrew - Yes any treatment between a married couple is allowed. We've had big discussions on the board about this inc hadiths etc. If you go to the main religion board and then scroll down for a subject called christian/muslim marriage donor egg. I realise this might not be your exact situation but if you read through you'll notice the various quotations which state husband/wife IVF is allowed. Inshallah you and your wife will get there. Alhumdulilah we just had a BFP via IVF on this board, and KittenPaws had a little baby girl via IVF not too long ago.

Shasha - where are you at in the treatment cycle?

Soni, Iman, Godswill, Fazie, KP and all 

love

Snowbelle


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## sloughcrew

isabel...thats fine 
we booked our own hotels direct, as we found this a lot  cheaper and more flexible..( jinemed do  offer a package with hotel, but this works out £80 a night for the 4 star in Taksim)
last year we stayed  in Sirkeci at the  4*Prince Hotel (£30 a night off peak at the time,, 10 min taxi to jinemed, 15 Liras each way ), which is very very near Sulthanamet, so can easiliy walk to the blue mosque, palace, museums, etc etc.. and see all the sites...
this time we are staying  at the 4 * feronya  hotel in taksim ( £42 a night, 5 min taxi to Jinemed, costing 7 Liras each way )...
if you want me to break  out costs further..just message me


----------



## sloughcrew

Asalam alaikom sisters/sisters, hope everyone  is well and taking care

godswill - hey fellow slough  bods the worlds a small place.....my simple advise to anyone, thinking about IVF  is to act today, rather than tomorrow      ( time flies !!!)
the egg collection went well today at jinemed ( a mini army of 20 collected, the misses is in  some pain) and  inshalllah tomorrow we will have the results of the  fertilization and take things further...
godswill -  i think the turkish food needs a bit of a kick / uplift ..- even K's in slough does a better chicken doner/tikka then the the whole of istanbul !, or flaming grill does a  better grilled chicken then anywhere in istanbul


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

Slough - please don't take my word for it. Please ask an Imam. You could call IslamiQA on Islam channel and ask for a fatawa - they have a sheikh on every night to answer questions and it is rerun the next day. 


Love to all you ladies - I am very lonely now - my dh has been away for over a week now. I don't mind being separated when we are in the same country and less than 2 hours apart but when he is 4000km away with friends who whisper poison against me I am not happy. Also with only 10 eggs released per year (due to my 35 day cycle) I hate missing out on this one. Audhu billah - I have lots of wis was and fitna with him gone, particularly at this time. I didn't sleep at all last night and when I went for my acupuncture today all I could do was cry. I was also extra sensitive to the chi today and she couldn't use as many needles as usual. 

Make du'a for me please.

SisterC


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## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are well.
Ren- we are not hiding I am also lurking around.  Am having my EC next Monday so at moment am just going through routine of injections and appointments back and forth from hospital.  Yes you are right, sometimes when I start to read things and especially on here I begin to think I am doingthings wrong   My DH says I must know everything about infertility by now   If only!!
I am trying to stay positive about this cycle as cannot go through this yet again!  I have done everthing this time, given up coffee, tea, chocolates - am taking all vitamins, brazil nuts etc 

I saw some old friends today and the first thing they said was no kids yet.... I felt like bopping them on the head but what could i say - no not yet but soon....  So much pressure!!!!  

Sister C- hope you are keeping well.

Everyone else whre are you  Take care love shahshah


----------



## sloughcrew

salaams all

godswill , i have had a quick look...but it looks thats this is being discussed for berkshire west......slough falls in the berkshire east pct...........so looks like more frustratiion,,,( i know there was talk of lowering the age from 35  down to 32, year by  year, but not sure how fat this got)


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## sloughcrew

salaams to all....

afrer a sleepless night,  the misses had the egg transfer carried out today , and Alhumdulilah all went well,  ( 3  embryo's planted  - all  cheekily named by the prof  teksen of Jinemed !!!!), all we can do now is let nature take its due course and make dua......
our time in istanbul will be up on saturday, so back to home sweet home therafter

shahshah - i pray    all goes well for you on your egg collection ,


----------



## sloughcrew

salaams

godswill  - yes u r right    - i have put my commensts and thoughts forward..

in an ideal world, free ivf treatment for all on the NHS, however, 
i understand that their is a set limit of resources/money that each PCT can allocate to IVF for their residents, would it not be an idea to offer the treatment to residents on the basis that they would need to fund their own  medication costs ? i.e PCT pays for treatment and patients pay for medication costs  -  or even split  the total cost by 50 %

I  for one, would me more than willing to pay 50%


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone 

Ren,   inshallah you just have to be strong  . Try and think positively at the moment, you and your DH are at the start of something big. Don't forget that statistically IVF has better live births the younger you are so stick with that thought. You are both young and healthy and inshallah it will work   you just can't let everything get to you now. Alhumdulilah look at who it has worked for (Thinny, KP, Fazie, and all the others on this site). Have you told anyone at home that you guys will be doing it? It might help to even tell one person just to take some of the pressure off you . Please don't feel sad . 
       

lots of love

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms sisters,

hope ur all well
ren- i know and understand this is a difficult time i went through this in november wen my hubbys younger sis gave birth! every1 was delighted  & I couldnt help but feel a mixed load of feelings. I remeber crying my eyes out then letting it all out on ff and then i felt alot better. so its good to get things out espciallo on ff cos we all understand! but hey cheerup and look at the bright side insha all..h we r getting reward for every day & moment we strive for what we want.. and insha All..h we wll will c the day wen its our turn

snow- how u feeling hope ur better 

a great big welcome to sloughcrew

slms to all


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone, 

How is everyone   Alhumdulilah for the first time in weeks I am feeling soooo much better. It got quite difficult last week as despite taking the iron tablets I still felt felt as if I was very wobbly. I went back to the doctor who said I might have an irritation/ inflamation in my ear which was causing the rocking sensation. Its been about 4 days of very strange side effects but I am finally beginning to feel so much better  . Thanks for asking.

Flame - what happened about your DH's SA?

Godswill - Hows the metaformin going? I hear a lot of people find it really hard.

Soni - where are you??

Ren - hope you are feeling better  

Slough -exciting couple of weeks ahead for you and your wife     

love to everyone  

Snowbelle


----------



## flame

slms, 

well my husbands SA came back abnormal as the receptionist put it.... BUT we r still waiting for an appointment from the urologist it has been 7   weeks!!    we rang the hospital they checked it up and said we should hear from them in the next week.. every morning i'm waiting for the post man hoping for the letter to arrive  

hope every1 is in the best of health am praying for you all!!

thinny- where are you please let us know how u r coming along..

ren -hope your feeling more positive

snow- nice to hear your on the road to recovery  ..  
i had a real bad sinusitis infection last week but alhamduli...h i had some of my mums antibiotics to hand so i took them and felt better very quickly.. i then went to the doctor and she refered me 4 a blood test .. hope and  everythings clear...

slough- do fill us in on the news of your wife!! lots of prayers      for you both AAMEEN

godswill-- how r u ? hows tx?

shah, sisterc, iman and all the rest- hope your well do come and update us on how u all are

w/s
flame xxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are al well.

Have got my EC tomorrow, it was a bit touch and go as Dr was saying my put back but my bloods came back fine.  Cannot believe how much the HCG injection has hurt this time what a killer!!!   Hopefully this time it is it and I get the number of eggs and embies to put back! 

Ren - Hope you are feeling better, we all know how you feel, but you are still very youing and things will work for you  

Sloughcrew - Good luck for the next 2 weeks, I know how you feel as will be there soon  

Snow - Glad you are better what are your next steps ? 

Godswill - hope things are good with you, at least your PCT willpay, mine said if you fund your own cycle they will not pay for any after that, so instead you are forced to wait 2 years till you can have your free NHS one, but we just felt we did not have the time to wait for this!  

Anyone I have missed hope things are well, please pray for me that I get my BFP this time inshallah. 
Love to all shahshah x


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone,

Shasha - What about self funding   I don't fully understand it, but from what I do understand you tell them that you want to do that, you pay and get it done in the same environment with the same doctors and then when your NHS turn comes they give you the money back...I need to read up some more on it as not quite clear as to the finer details. 

At the moment the pressure is on me to loose some weight. But since the anaemia my biggest hurdle is to try and maintain a ferratin level of 45-55 (I'm on 8 at the moment). Another cause for concern is that my day 21 progesterone is in single number when it should be 33!! The doctor said it might just be the anaemia causing it. So I basically need to get healthy, and then loose 6kg and keep it off. Then we are on the IVF road or probably the waiting list!

I always get so excited whenever I hear that someone is doing the EC. Inshallah your embies will be safe and sound, and most importantly result in a healthy live birth!!!     Loads of positive thoughts. Are you eating all the good things (I think there is something about pineapple juice?). Inshallah inshallah

Flame - I'm surprised that it is taking so long for your DH to get his urology appointment. DH finally going to see a urologist about his and got his appointment for 3 weeks time. Have you asked about cancellations?

lots of love  

Snowbelle


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## sloughcrew

salaams all 

ShahShah - i hope eveything went well today, inshallah  things will work out  

godswill - metformin can be really tough, the DW only lasted 2/3 weeks on this as the side effects for her  were unbearable


amazing , while we were in Istanbul, it rained, rained and rained,  got back home theres nothing but  nice bright  sunshine 
the DW this time around seems a lot more relaxed, calm and in good health - but still very very  anxious


----------



## Iman

hellooooooooooooo

Assalaamu alaikum!

Sorry ladies ( and gent!) its been a long time! Been so busy, had laptop probs! 

Alhamdulillah me and DH are fine, though he STILL hasnt found a new job - I have lost track of how many he has applied for now!! but Allahu Alim something will come up insha'Allah. As soon as it does it will be all stations go on the adoption front and we will move home to rent a bigger place and call the adoption agency back!! ooh can't wait!!

Going slightly nuts and literally surrounded by newborns and pregnancies at the moment and its all baby talk!! best friend is pg with first and quite daunted and its all she talks about...and all anyone else talks about but deep breaths and leaving the room for some excuse ( like to make tea!lol) helps me get through........I was going to tell her about our probs a while ago but then she announced she was TTC so I didnt want to freak her out by tellingg her what me and DH have been through...and then she got PG alhamdulillah and I didnt want to rain on her parade, its not her fault after all so why spoil her happiness?? I dont want her feeling guilty.....and now, well now I guess I have to wait til she's had baba and pick a moment then....I just hope she doesnt hate me for not telling her sooner and keeping a secret from her as we are quite close....

Anyway goona catch up with all the posts now! 

take care my lovelies

My du'a for all of you - may Allah swt make us strong and increase our patience and reward us in abundance for our hardships. May we forever remain grateful for all that we have, Ameen.

xxxx


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are all well,  Had my ET today with 2 embies put back.  I was told they a good quality - grade 3 ( 1 being the poorest) and 3 highest.  This time i am praying for a BFP!!!  I have done everything i can including my acupuncture! 

Unfortunately the ones left were not good enough to freeze so have 2 banked ones left from previous cycle.  

Sloughcrew - good luck with your 2ww hope all is going well. 

Ren - not long till your appointment now hope all is well. 

Snow - self funding is when you pay for your treatment through the NHS hospital - yes same drs but no they do not give you back your money when it is your turn, unless they do in your area, it costs in the region of 3500K to self fund. In ours once you have had any cycle of ivf they will not let you have a free go on the NHS.  Hope all is well  

I am now going to attempt to sit around for 3 days with my feet up, very hard for me to do    in order for this to work.  Please pray for me ladies as Allah may grant one of our wishes inshallah.  My love to you all  

ShahShah xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  ,

Shasha - thats fantastic!!!! I'm so excited for you   ! Inshallah take it easy and get your DH to wait on you hand and foot! Well done on the perfect embies btw. Inshallah both the embies hold on tight and you get your babies   Inshallah lots of duas and positive thoughts your way! Exciting times ahead.       

Thanks for the info re self funding. I knew I had to read it again, but because it wasn't certain that we were going to do it I didn't want to read too much too soon. Now its different as we know it is on our agenda. For me I now need to sit and seriously decide how many times we will have a go. I just can't go into it as an open expanse of infinity.

Slough - How is your wifes 2ww going I hope that you are making sure that she rests lots. Inshallah you guys will get there.

Godswill -       How are things on metformin, inshallah it will go well

Iman - Sorry to hear your DH is still looking for work, inshallah things will fall into place.

Ren - IVF soon, will you keep a diary 

Soni - Where are you Any more thoughts on the future?

lots of love

Snowbelle


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## Angelic

Salaam all,

Hope that you are all happy and healthy... Have not been on this thread for a very long time... Wishing you all the best.


xxx


----------



## flame

slms

shah- Great news! hope and   all goes well! hope your taking it easy?

ren - not long! hopeing and   ing for you! wens nxt appoint?

godswill - hows things?

snow - hope the iron levels r good? hows the diet going?

Iman - insha allah your dh will find a job soon! keep trying and don't give up!

with us My dh rang the hospital and they said the appointment letter is on its way and the appointment is on the 9th April and the   problem is i'm gonna be in birmingham at my mums cos my cousins getting married that weekend and ive got a week off work! sometimes things just don't work to our plan HUH!!      
well i guess i'll wait & see wen the letter arrives i mite try change it to another date or dh will have to alone    

slms and love to all sisters and Brother!
flame xxx


----------



## Muslima

Hi my dear sisters! 

Hope all of you are doing good and hope your wishes come true, inshallah! 

I am new to this forum and really enjoy reading your posts. Please accept me as a member to this forum!

About me...i am 26 and have been trying for a baby for almost 2 years now.  Doctors are still investigating the cause. Had many progesterone tests and each time it was low in count. Recently done HSG and am waiting for the result which is on Tuesday. Please pray for me. I had not complications during the test as well as afterwards....so hope the result is positive  

I used contraceptive pills for few months starting the first night of marriage. Even before marriage my periods were irregular and had to take contraceptive pills to regulate them for almost 4 years (on and off the pill=3 months course each  time).

OK I think it enough for now...take care!

love, 

Naz


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## sloughcrew

Salaam all,
I hope all is well with everybody  

snowbelle - the 2ww wait , has just got longer  
the blood test was done today , so we have to await  for the results of these ,  and the local clinic has advised this could take up to a week to come back          -  anxious times


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone

Muslima - A big welcome to you, of course we would love to have you here  ! Alhumdulilah we have some really great people here who will get you through good days and the bad days inshallah. Where abouts are you based? We've had a couple of meet up so far and they've been in London. I'm surprised they weren't able to give you the HSG results straight away as I got mine immediately   could just be a different area thing.

Slough -       inshallah inshallah inshallah     

Flame - Sorry to hear that you have an appointment clash with your appointment. My area is like Ren's in that if I cancel it takes ages to get another. Mr Snow has his urology appointment (a cancellation) tomorrow so inshallah that will come back ok.

Angelic - So pleased that you popped by, so good to see that you had your triplets - it must be hard work!

Ren - Hows the diet? Not long now till you get started!!!    Inshallah do keep a diary I think they are great as they help everyone.

Soni - where are you

love to everyone

love

Snowbelle


----------



## boohoo

Slaam All

hope you all ok 

you got room for one more? 

im new to all this so hope i dont get anything wrong 

right ill tell you abit  about us im 23& dh is 27 we have been trying for 3 1/2 years , ive been diagnosed with PCOS and DH is ok.Im currently on my 6 weeks waiting time to request treatment for IVF so hoping to start in May 09   is anyone elsealso starting treatment at this time ? hoping to find a cycle buddy

has anyone got any tips on what might help me prepare for IVFe.g what to eat, accupunture,....

anyways think ive written enough sorry to bore you 

take care


----------



## flame

slms to all

a great big welcome to muslimah and boohoo! you'll love this thread! every1 is really helpfull and kind here! 

ren-  ing you get accepted this month-best of luck and hopefully you'll keep a diary?

ren/snow- alhamdulillah i rang the hospital and they've given me an apointment for the following week (16th April) so thats great news this way we only have to wait another week and we can both attend!    

slough -        insha allah the wait will be rewarding!

hope all the rest r well! 
slms 2 all!


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all

Hope you are all well.  The 2ww is going slow, i am so worried, i am trying not to stress but cant help it.  Keep getting AF type pains and not sure what this means!!!  I am going back to work tmrw and am trying to take it easy.

Sloughcrew - did you not do a home PT  Did your clinic advise only to do a blood test?  Hope it all goes well. 

Welcome to boohoo and muslima.

Ren - am so jealous love Krispy Kreme, had one the other day straight after my ET!!!!!    Dont worry you can start next month, same happened to me.

Love to all xx


----------



## sloughcrew

salaams all
shahshah - the jinemed clinic  advised us on taking a  blood test,,
we decided against the home PT - mainly due to that  last year  we did the home PT test and it came out  negative, and the wife was in tears,,,,,the next day we did a blood test, and the following day  the result came back as positive.., but problems later brought the short happiness to an end,,......................
however, weve had the initial blood test results back from  our local clinic and  we were  advised the results would indicate a pregnancy,  however, they are relatively high,,hence  they will take another blood test this coming Monday  to check the HCG 
levels  - so more anxious times


----------



## Muslima

Hi everyone!

Thank you all for the warm welcome!

snowbelle: I live in London. No, they didn't give my result at that time and i myself am a little bit shy so couldn't dare to ask   but on 10 i had appointment with my doctor at Nelson hospital and she said that the dye couldn't go though the tubes so they want me to do a ?Laparascopy. I am so much afraid to do that as i just saw a video of it @ YouTube!

Has anyone done a Laparascopy? Is it really useful/necessary? Can i skip this and find an alternative way?

I will   for you all and you please remember me in your prayers!

love and best wishes,

Naz


----------



## Bambam

Hi ladies

I hope you don't mind me posting on here but i just wanted to let Naz know that i had a laparoscopy too and it was fine   As Izzy says you go in in the morning and it's a very simple op and you are home in the afternoon   I would strongly suggest that you have someone with you when you get home to look after you though as after the anaesthetic you won't be feeling like moving around and making drinks and food etc.. My dp looked after me while i snoozed on the sofa in between watching rubbish daytime tv  

Amanda xx


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  ,

Emalia - I replied to your message on the other thread   congratulations on the twins!

Bambam - of course you can jump in! Pop by and say hello!

Sloughcrew - inshallah inshallah      

Muslima - I haven't had a lap and dye but lots of people have and I'm sure you will be fine inshallah (says the biggest worrier  ) London is good, inshallah the next time we have a meet up you will have to come along it is so nice to be able to sit and talk infertility face to face. I always the remember the waiters faces they always look so shocked !!!

Ren - Happy Anniversary   inshallah next year you will have someone else with you   

Godswill Alhumdulilah the visit with the in laws went well. I'm getting better as well so inshallah give me a few weeks of feeling human and then I'll happily organise another meet up. 

Shasha - It is over until the horrible witch arrives just think positively       inshallah

Iman, flame, KP, faz, soni, boohoo and all  

love

Snowbelle


----------



## sloughcrew

salaams all
seems the board has gone quiet  

weve had the second blood test come through and all is well(though they are relatively very high) - inshallah  if things continue to go well, we will have a early  scan in 2/3 weeks time

ShahShah - how r u keeping ?
isobel snow drop - no problem, we;ll do our best to help with any questions/queries with regards to hotels


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone
Sloughcrew, I feel really dense is this a BFP?    

Shahshah        

lots of love

Snowbelle


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## DreamTeam

How fantastic!!!

Party time in the mussie room! Alhumdulilah thats another     

                                    

 group hug to spread the positive vibes, inshallah lots more BFPs to come!

lots of love to everyone

love
Snowbelle


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## ShahShah

Salam ladies 

Hope you are all well.

Sloughcrew - Congratulations and mashallah.  I hope and pray all goes well for you.

Sorry I have not been on here a while have been feeling quite tense during the 2ww.  Anyway this morning was Doom day, so got up early as could not sleep.  Did the test and was thinking this is not working!  So as im waitng 1 line appeared then a 2nd and I was freaking out and thinking OMG, it cant be and i was crying at the same time!  I woke my DH and said read this and we were both just staring at it and there it was a  .

I have been in shock all morning and been crying, the line was not very strong so am hopig this is not bad but I rang my hospital and they have booked me in for a scan in 2 weeks.  

I just wanted to thank you all for your support and kind words, inshallah all good things will happen to you all.  My duas go out to you all love shahshah xx


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## DreamTeam

Salams Everyone

Wow Shahshah thats fantastic!!! 2 BFPs in as many days! Yay!  

Party is definitely on in the mussie room                       

Inshallah both you and Mrs Sloughcrew have a happy and healthy 8/9 months and inshallah you both have healthy live births!

    to everyone

love

Snowbelle


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## flame

slms

WOW !!! FANTASTIC NEWS !!!  A GREAT BIG CONGRATULATIONS     
insha allah both preganancys go well and result in healthy pious children! AAmeen!!

slms to all!!
w/s
flame xxx


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## Bambam

Just wanted to pop on and say big congratulations to ShahShah and Mr & Mrs Sloughcrew



Wishing you all a very happy and healthy 9 months

Amanda xx


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## paumi

Salaams everyone, 

Godswill, Bambam and r4k thankyou all for your nice welcome. Looks like I have joined at a good time. 
Congratulations. Hope everyone else is okay. 

paumi


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  

Oh what a wonderful day, hasn't it been lovely! A big welcome Paumi   everyone is really fantastic here. As much as I hate the fact that you've joined this 'club' it is wonderful that we've had 3 recent graduates (thinny, shahshah, and sloughcrew) Alhumdulilah, so inshallah there is hope for the rest of us!      

love to everyone

Snowbelle


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## ShahShah

Salam ladies 

Than you for your duas and wishes.  It has been a very hectic time as found out am bfp and then my mum SIL passed away so put a dampner on things.  Have been there everyday and had janazza today.

Am trying not to get stressed about it all, was very upseting today as we were all very close.  

Hope you are all well take care love and duas xx

ShahShah


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## tanisha

Salaam sisters

I hope you are all well, so good to read all teh positive stories and teh support youa ll provide, please could you all make dua for me, its my 4th cycle and i am going for egg collection on Thursday 9th April, I am slo at high risk of OHSS as I have 30 follicles, please make dua that I pass through this difficult stage successfully.

if there is any special dua that i shoudl read then please send me this.

luv

tanisha


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## FazWorld

ASA ladies,

IA I hope you are all well. Sorry been away for a while, but things were just soooo busy at work (I was thinking of you all tho!). 

AH I was one of the lucky ones to get a bonus this year (not too great but better than nothing) and my work situation remains fairly safe. DH said it is my money to do with as I want, but I think he would draw the line if I were to suggest I wanted another go! . No IA I will leave that to you guys now and just pray for a miracle. I used preseed last month and expected to get a BFP..   any way, I will keep trying!

The new hours are great, get home by 3.30pm, pick up kids and then altho working with them around is hard, it is better than not being with them. 

SloughCrew, Shahshah and Thinny, AH well done and IA may you have a good 9 months ahead of you to bring you righteous offspring. Ameen 

Tanisha, IA we will all pray for you. Are you 'coasting' at the mo (no drugs due to OHSS)? AH - 30 follicles, your ovaries must be the size of footballs (forget golf balls!) by now!!  Sister the only dua I know is the one from Al Imran (rabbi hab lee min ladunka thurriyyatan tayyibatan innaka sameeAAu aldduAAai )قَالَ رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ 
"O my Lord! Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation." 
(Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #3

BTW - I work for a company called Hiscox. If there is anyone out there trying to get Home Insurance, if you mention my name, you get a 15% discount. They are a bit expensive, but the discount brings them down to normality and they are very good to insure with so let me know if you are interested and I will PM you my name (please don't put Fazworld!  )

IA speak to you soon,

Fazworld


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## Bambam

tanisha said:


> Salaam sisters
> 
> I hope you are all well, so good to read all teh positive stories and teh support youa ll provide, please could you all make dua for me, its my 4th cycle and i am going for egg collection on Thursday 9th April, I am slo at high risk of OHSS as I have 30 follicles, please make dua that I pass through this difficult stage successfully.
> 
> if there is any special dua that i shoudl read then please send me this.
> 
> luv
> 
> tanisha


Hi Tanisha

Have you seen our board for OHSS Info? It's good for information on spotting the signs and things you can do to help prevent it *Links For Info In OHSS ~ * CLICK HERE 

Amanda xx


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## SU_xx

Salaams all

I am very new to FF so am still not really sure how all this works ...LOL!

I was diagnosed with POF about five months ago and have been told that there is no way i can fall pregnant. My FSH is over 120 and my AMH 0.7, which was a shock to the system at 28. My husband and I are devestated as we long for a family but we haven't given up hope and pray that insh there is a future for us with our own family.

I was realy happy to read your stories and support on FF and to be honest (probably really naive) but  just didn't think things like this happened, or that it would ever happen to me. I don't know what your situations are but if anyone has any advice or guidance they can share with me i would really appreciate it as i feel as though the doctors are not willing to help me and i don't really know where to turn now.

Su xxx


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## sloughcrew

salaaams all

a warm and welcome  hello so su_xx,  - it may be worth reseraching into further detail  into POF, from what little I know
there is a 10 %  chance with those with POF getting pregnant,  normally the first line of treatment tends to be fertility drugs to try help  and to stimulate / regulate  ( such as metformin, estradidol) - maybe worth visitng your GP again and having a discussion  - but above all dont lose hope and never say never

Shahshah -  sorry to hear about your mothers  death...Ina lilahi waina'a ilihi raji'oon. May Allah swt forgive her soul and enter her into paradise.  May Allaah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant  you  family sabr through this time, and make them steadfast, ameen.


goodswill - the wife is in good health ( 7 weeks pregnant now ), but im trying to convince her to have a 8 week scan done sometime next week  in windsor but shes not keen and would like to wait for the standard 12 week scan ... - i guess shes very nervous and scared due to her m/c last year....


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## DreamTeam

Salams everyone  ,

A big welcome to su_xx - everyone here is fantastic although they might not be in exactly the same position as you, they are great at listening and will get you through the hardest days  . 

Sloughcrew - good to hear that your wife's pregnancy is proceeding nicely!

Godswill - how was the break?

Ren - all ready for IVF

Fazworld - good to hear that things are going well for you. Enjoy every second.

Not much to report for me. I've officially been signed off from physio which is fantastic  . Other than that just trying to incerease my exercise to help loose weight for the moment.

Tanisha, Soni, Iman and everyone else  

lots of love

Snowbelle


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## sloughcrew

isobel

I can  only speak from my own experience ,  the DW and I are  from pakistani origin  ( parents are  are from pakistan, and we were born in the UK ),  and  we had no issues with anyone about our origins / language/background.

Those whom  we spoke to and when  we mentioned that we were Pakistani  ( those on the streets, airport, shops, restaurants), a lot of them smiled and asked questions about the current state of pakistan  -  i was amazed how many even spoke a few words of urdu/punjabi  - a lot of then went over to the middle east for work and picked up the lingo, while working with pakistanis/indians 

I can see how the minority  may look at your differently from a "street" prespective, but I cant really see how your origins could affect your treatment with clinics in Istanbul ( e.g with the jinemed), as at the end  of the day you are paying for  a professional service and you are their customer , so to speak.


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## SU_xx

Salaams all

Thank you for your kind words and support, it means alot that there are people who i can share this with.

Sorry, i should have explained my diagnosis. POF is Premature Ovarian Failure, which basically means i have no eggs left or anything i do have is of poor quality and so i couldn't become preganant with my own eggs. This has happened due to me having a really high FSH (12, although this is the cause my infertility is unexplained. The docs have suggested donor eggs or adoption. My hubby and I want our own biological kids and we have not given up hope on that despite what the docs say. As alot of you probably know they are quick to say 'never' and 'impossible', which those of us with faith know is not really their call.

I think the hardest thing at the moment is watching everyone else have kids around us and for some reason everyone seems to be pregnant! I feel strong at the moment but i am scared about the what the future holds and what will happen for us and i know everything happens for a reson but its hard sometimes to understand.

Do any of you guys have any views on adoption, it's something i think we would consider down the line but I'm not sure what the islamic views on this are, also I'd be really intersted to hear your sories particularly if you have been through anything similar.

Thanks again

Su


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## Bambam

New home this way.....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=191031.msg2955890#msg2955890

Amanda xx


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