# Positive results with FET?



## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Hi all,

We've got two frosties that were frozen at day 5 after our first round of ICSI (successful but mmc at 10 weeks   ). We're not ready to start the treatment yet - it's too soon after my mc - but just need a light at the end of the tunnell. Can anyone who's been through a similar situation with either a failed cycle or mc give me some positive stories? 

Thanks - Emma xxxx


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Hi Emma, just wanted to say that I am in same poisiton as you, we had our first IVF in may and got a BFP but had a mmc on week 7 followed by a d&c on week 8 (4 weeks ago). Hardest time of my life. Did you have a d&c? When are you hoping to have a FET? I want to go asap as it's the only way I can cope by trying to look forward. I think I have to have 2 periods first?
DH suggested the other night that we wait longer as he doesn't think I am coping at all, I keep crying at the smallest things. I find I hate social situations just now. I won't speak to anyone about it apart from DH but he tries to cut it from his mind because he also finds it hard to cope with. 
i feel this time even if we get a BFP I won't be as over the moon as last tme I will just look at it as a step we have passed but won't relax. I think this time I am going to give my job as a childminder up as it's a physical job with lots of lifting. Also not the easiest job to look after other peoples children when we can't have our own. When we got our BFP I had got DH a baby vest with I love daddy on it and the other day one of the little girls had exact same vest on and I had to walk out the roomm in tears.
I am so sorry for your loss and just hope you can find the strength to carry on soon x x x


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## lisa_A (Feb 4, 2010)

Hi Hun,

First sorry about your loss, it's always so much harder when u have tx, like a double low.

I lost my little girl at 18 weeks, no reason known in 2009, I had 2 more fresh cycles and no bfp. Had 2 fet and now almost due with twins.

So fet does work sometimes more so then fresh.

Good luck you will know when your ready to tr again.

Lisa
Xxxxx


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Lisa - thanks so much for your reply. It gives me and hopefully other women in the same situation some hope. How long did you wait before FET? I'm thinking of waiting six months - potentially pas the date my baby was due just because that's what i need to do emotionally right now. It's so amazing that you're expecting twins now! Congratuations!!! Did you have two embryos transferred? I've got two in the freezer from first round but docs are reluctant to transfer both at the same time. I feel that migh be what I want though. How did you convince them?

Hi Locini - it's both comforting and upsetting to know other people are in the same position as me. I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy. Sending you lots of    . As I said above, at the moment I feel as though I need to wait but this is partly because my BMI had got up to 30 by the time I was 8 weeks and I can't help but think that is what caused the m/c   . Also, I feel I need more time to heal emotionally, get some perspective into my life and re-focus on things outside of having a baby. I am having the same problems as you dealing with social situations. I keep getting really angry at people for no reason. Am dreading going back to work on thurs because most people didn't know so will just think i'm being a psycho   .


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Locini - sorry I hadn't finished but clicked post by accident! I also wanted to say I too am scared that it won't be the same feeling when we get that next bfp. in fact, i'm almost sure it won't be but that's becuase the first time can only happen once and that will always be special and nothing else can feel like that again. However, next time there will be firsts too - the first time you feel a kick, the first time your partner feels a kick, the first time you give birth and hold that baby in your arms. so no, it won't be the same but it won't be worse, just different. 

Have you thought about trying counselling? i've booked an appointment for me and dh to go together and have also booked a holiday. Both things helped a lot - just felt like I was looking forward, rather than back. I hope you feel better soon. Stay in touch


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Lisa losing your baby at 28 weeks must have been so hard a due and I am delighted to hear you are nearly due your twins,  you must be so excited right now. Like Emma says your story gives ladies like us hope. 

Emma it sounds like waiting is the right thing for you and like Lisa said you will know when the time is right. I would love to book councilling but our clinic is a five hour drive away and so it's not possible to get it done there and if I went to doctor to try and get it then it's an 8 month waiting list - rubbish. I am going to try and book one session when we go down for our consultation though. and maybe one again before we go for transfer. I hate way I am being with others just now as i am so angry inside and take it out on them. The other night we had a few close friends around for a bbq and a few drinks before I gave the drink up again, and the whole night I was having digs at DH as I was angry at him for not showing emotion any more about the mc. I felt bad after though because I know people just ddeal with things in their own way but I just thought he was over it. 
You are right that next time we will have other firsts and they too will become special to us, I keep looking back to the day we tested and how happy we were and I just wish i could feel like that again. 
I really wanted to transferred last time but clinic pushed me to have one as i am 25 and said i was too young but I am defianately going for 2 next time (we have 4 blasts in freezer). We went private for our first treatment as we have over a 2 year wait on NHS but if the frozen one don't work we will have to just wait as can't afford more private. 
Good luck with going back to work, I expect you are dreading it but don't be too hard on yourself if you feel yourself getting emotiona/angry and give yourself time. 
I have a friend whos little boy I used to childmind and she had a fresh 3 day transfer and it failed and then she had 5 embryos left which she left to go to blast and only one survived which got frozen and now he is  nearly 2 years old!! So we have to remember FET do work and some say they are better as your body has had time to recover from all the treatment.xxx


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## lisa_A (Feb 4, 2010)

Hi ladies,

Emma and locii, I will do this reply to you both rather in separate.

When I lost the baby, all I wanted was to be pg agai , I felt so empty and wanted a baby back inside me as the 18 weeks I had her inside was so happy. I had Jesse in.  July and did want to try again 3 months later but I had a bad smear to add onto of everything so had to have an op to get rid of bad cells which turned out to be all ok, so I started ivf in Jan 2010. I can tell you it was so very hard, I was not ready as I still needed kore time to grieve and move forward. That cycle failed, had it worked maybe I would have felt different but going through the scans etc was very hard. I then tried again in June 2010 this time I felt very ready. So it took  almost a year for me. I had no counseling, a bad experience  in the delivery of the baby so put it all together didn't help.

After the failed fresh cycle I had first fet in October 2010 pf 3 blasto this cycle gained, so it started making things hard because all I wanted  was to be pg again.

I had my last fet of 3 blasto in December and out of the 3, 2 took. 1 was not great quality but still a shock 2 took. I am over 40 so I was allowed 3.

My only advice is, talk to your dh, talk to the clinic and make sure unreel ready, doing it too soon won't help.

I wish u both so much luck and really hope you get your dream babies really soon.

I personally would always have at least 2 back.

Lisa
Xxxx


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Thanks you for sharing your story with us Lisa, you've had a very tough journey but soon your little miracles will be placed in your arms! Thanks to you and Emma for your advice as after what you both have said DH and I decided this morning that we will book a holiday for september and then decide from there. This really is thanks to you as before i just wanted to go asap and i don't think I would of been emotionally or physically ready as DH has been trying to tell me for the last couple of weeks. I realise now if we do try too early it could effect the results - and not in a good way. So thank you to you both and good luck with your babies when they arrive. xxx


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## IzziLu (Feb 18, 2010)

Hi girls,

I hope you don't mind me hopping on here, I've come over to the FET thread for the first time today and just been browsing around.

We had BFN from our third fresh ICSI on Friday, but for the first time ever have two snow-babies in the freezer. However, over the weekend I had kind of questioned whether it would even be worth going back for them.... my reasoning? Well if all we can get out of two pairs of grade 1, 3 day embies and one pair of top grade blasts is one tenuous chemical, then what on earth chance do we have with two blasts that were '2nd best'   

But to come on here and see the hope that you girls have Emma and Locini, gives me confidence and Lisa in particular to have been what you have been through but to be about to meet your two darling boys is such an inspiration.... particularly as we are a similar age and I have also been hit with the hidden C curse. I know that you will never forget your little angel but I pray that your boys bring you all the happiness in the world         

And Emma and Locini I hope that your up-coming FET cycles, whenever you choose to have them, will be your time        

Thanks to all of you for making me feel a little better this afternoon     

IzziLu xXx


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Hiya, IzzuLu, Love the name by the way - izzy is our favourite name for a little girl!! A girl I speak to on here who's getting treatment done at the same place as me told me about a  friend of her. she had four single FET and the first three were top grade and failed but then had the fourth which was the runt of the litter so to speak and that one is now a healthy baby girl! Never give up hope - i have promised myself I won't! I know at times that is easier said than done though. 
This is really a tough journey that will never get any easier until the day we hold a baby in our arms but this website definately helps make it a little bit easier. To know we are not alone and get advice and support from others going through the same has been a life saver for me.

Holiday to Tenerife has now been booked for the 16th of september for 2 weeks, so hope this will also help to get us back on track!

xxx


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Lisa - I think you're so brave and absolutely amazing for telling your story just to help others. Thank you so much for the inspiration.

Locini - so happy that you booked a holiday i think it's important to have something to focus on apart from trying to get pregnant!

IzziLu - so sorry to hear about your unsuccessful cycle. there are so many stories on here of women who have been successful with fet - even when the embryos weren't great quality. I read the Robert Winston book "a child against all odds" and he said that embryo grading is a very sketchy science and not at all accurate in relation to successful pregnancies so don't give up yet.

I've decided that my holiday in a few weeks will be just about spending time with my DH who is honestly one of the best ones in the world. I'm going to spoil him rotten and have lots of non-baby making sex...just sex for fun and the pure pleasure of it!!!!!!!!!


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## IzziLu (Feb 18, 2010)

Locini, that is such a heart-warming story of the girl with the four FETS, although it must have been heartbreaking for her to go through the first three thinking it would never happen... she got her happy outcome in the end    You're right about FF, I really don't know where I would have been without it, taken away by the men in white coats probably      Two weeks in Tenerife sounds like just the ticket, I'm sure it will do you and DH the world of good   

Emma, that's interesting what Prof Winston has to say about embryo grading. I think I really need to hear that sort of opinion from people truly in the know because unfortunately I am a very logical person in everyday life and even though I know it in my heart of hearts I still need reminding that it's just not possible or realistic to apply normal logic to this IF nightmare    So you're off on hols in a few weeks too.... anywhere nice?    Does DH know what he's in for?    

xXx


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

IzziLu - I'd recommend the Prof Winston book. It's VERY sciency (nothing about the emotional side of things) but if you're a logical person which I am too, then this is sometimes what you need. I loaned a copy from the library because it'll probably be expensive to buy. I'm big on reading - the more educated I am the more I feel a little bit more in control. Another great sciency book is "the complete guide to ivf" by Kate Brian. This is much less technical than the Prof Winston book and I found it really really useful. The author is a fertility nurse and had undergone treatment so a really good person to write a book.

I LOVE your little humping emoticon - i absolutely lauhed out loud once i figured out what it was!!! We're going to Cornwall and No - he has no idea what he's in for!! He's been so great since our m/c I just feel like I need to spoil him a bit.

Thanks to all you girls for making me feel better. You're all bloody amazing


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## IzziLu (Feb 18, 2010)

Emma, thanks for the recommendations, I'll have to see if I can find those books, they sound like a good resource!

We live in Cornwall.... I'll    that the weather's a bit better by the time you get here than it is at the moment    It's lovely that your DH is doing such a good job of looking after you.... I'm lucky mine is like that too, but so many aren't    Hope yours enjoys his reward      Glad you're feeling better too hun   

xXx


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## CLAIRMAC (Jul 21, 2008)

Hey. our icsi was successful we have a 19 month old son  , we then tried again with 2 frozen embryos was worried they wouldnt thaw etc, but both made it and put back in which results in me being preg with boy/girl twins  wish you all the best!!! xxxxx


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## Frankie78 (Mar 13, 2011)

Hi all!

Hope you don't mind me coming on here?! I'm new-ish to the site and don't really know where to post! But read your stories and felt drawn to replying, seeing as I have been in a similar situation to some of you.

Emma & locini - I too had a positive result with our 1st cycle of ICSI back in april but things were not quite right from the beginning, amounts other things my bloods were not rising as they should. This resulted in an emergency rush to the hospital at 6 wks where they discovered I had an ectopic. Very traumatic experience and I unfortunately had to have 1 tube removed. Was devastated and couldn't imagine ever feeling 'normal' again, let alone starting treatment again! 

Anyway, I was lucky enough to be able to have a w/e away with my best girlfriends (the best medicine) and a wk away with my lovely hubby and this helped me massively. 

I've now started FET and am due to have ET tomorrow!! Very nervous about the whole thing but find reading stories on this site helps massively!

I'm sure you will feel ready soon to try again, I would advise to try not to think about it all too much (easier said than done I know) and if poss book yourself a little holiday!

Lisa - so Lovely to read your story with such a positive outcome! Congrats and really pleased for you!

Crossing everything for tomorrow!! X


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Clare - thanks for your story. I just need to hear that it can work out for people!

Frankie - best of luck for today I really hope it works out. Let us know how it goes


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Hey, Hope you are all well.

Frankie - it sounds like you've had it tough. i can't even imagine how hard it would be to have an ectopic pregnancy. Miscarriage was hard enough. I hope your transfer went well, keep us updated on how you get on. We have our holiday in 4 weeks - 2 weeks in tenerife and very much looking forward to it. Even having something else to focus  on has helped. We will start FET as soon as we can after it. 

Emma - how are you doing hun? Have you had your holiday yet? 

Izzy - Hope you are well and still keeping strong.

Clare - Thanks for your story - it gives me hope. I would love twins!!


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## katena (Nov 14, 2007)

Hey ladies,

Just wanted to reply as I also wondered about using our frozen embies.. But during EC I knew I could never go through another fresh cycle as I nearly had OHSS and felt awful!

Anyways... After 5 IUI's 3 natural, 2 medicated plus 1 fresh icsi all we ever bad was BFNs. We had 2 frozen embies... 1 grade 2 7 cell which didn't survive the thaw and 1 grade 1 8 cells- both 3 days old. Our OTd is 2mor but weve tested earl and got a BFP!

So.... FET can and does work!

K
X


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Congrats Kat, all these positive posts are definately giving me hope and probably others too. Enjoy your pregnancy now and good luck with everything x x x


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Hi Kat - congratulations on your BFP!!! I'm so happy for you. It's really helping me to hear about positive results. 

Hi Locini! How are you doing? Holiday is not for another two weeks! I can't wait. 

It's been five weeks now since MMC/ERPC and I'm starting to feel better. I've been doing loads of exercise (running mainly) and it's really helped to feel physically stronger. Somehow it's made me feel mentally tougher too   I know! It's also helping to loose some weight. I know it probably had nothing to do with it but a part of me will always believe that my m/c was because of my weight (my BMI was just 30 when I was 8 weeks pg) so I'm determined to not go back to treatment until I've got my BMI down below 25. 

Now my mind's a bit clearer I'm startin to think of my two little frosties though and I do feel much more positive about FET than I did about ICSI. It just seems healthier the less medicated it can be! Anyway, I'm looking forward to the rest of the year off and have already got back on the alcohol saddle! Had lots of nights out with DH and with girl friends and it's actuall quite nice to wake up with a hangover again!

 to you all. Hope you have a good week!


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## beachbaby (Jan 31, 2008)

Hi ladies, so sory for your losses, and glad your starting to turn a corner.
I too had a very early loss (2 in fact), it is heartbreaking and i was very scared when i was preparing for my 3rd FET, my clinic ofered me councelling but it was actually done at my local hospital the lady was a fertility councillor for our region and travelled to us at our local hospital rather than us travelling to her. i met het twice before my transfer and had another appointment booked for after my results if i needed it, she also called me on the day of my results and the day of my first scan, she was wonderful.
As you will see my third FEt was very successful and i have gorgeous twin boys who are now 3, the pain soon goes.
good luck to you all in your journey, i hope your dreams come true


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## Frankie78 (Mar 13, 2011)

Hello all!

Well ET went fine, if a little painful, test day is tomorrow and I'm absolutely ****ting it!! Have had no symptoms but havnt been able to concentrate on anything and havnt really wanted to do anything or speak to anyone, aside from my hubby! (this is quite unlike me as I normally have plans every night!!)

Praying that we'll get a positive outcome tomorrow, don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight though!!

Locini- that's great u have a holiday planned, perfect to help u relax before FET!

Beach baby and katena- so great to hear your positive stories - thank u!

Xxx


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## locini (Feb 10, 2011)

Good luck today frankie, thinking of you x x x


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## Murf (Jun 18, 2009)

Thinking of you all day Frankie, really hope it's good news. xxxxxxx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Dear all,

For those cycling now - come and join us on this support thread:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=265595.0

Or if you're cycling between Oct - Dec there's this FET support thread:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=268630.0

Kind regards,

Mini xx


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