# Leaving child with other carer



## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Just a general query that I would like some advice on.
How long was your child with you before you left them with someone else?
We have been told we can only leave ds for a maximum of one hour with a named relative. Is this the norm?
Thanks for listening.


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

we weren't allowed to leave our ds with anyone unless they were police checked by our ss but obviously once legally adopted it is down to you to decide who your child is safe to be left with   

i have still only left my ds twice (once with my mum and once with mil) and that was only for a couple of hours each time, but i'm just greedy and want to keep him all to myself    

pam xx


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

Hi BunBun,
With Sunshine we didn't even introduce her to anyone until she had lived with us for nearly 2 weeks and then it was only my sister for an hour. It was about another 4 weeks when an unavoidable bit of work came up that we were both doing and we left her with her 2 aunties for about three hours. It is importrant I think that your relationship is really solid before your ds starts to meet other people so there is no confusion about who Mummy and Daddy are.
Sounds like it's all going really well enjoy!!!!!
Love JD x


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

I know what you mean Pam I want to keep Sunshine all to myself too!!! People will offer to look after her to give us a break! It's a lovely offer but I really haven't waited 9 years for my baby to arrive to then let someone else look after her while I go round the shops! Makes me laugh!
Love JD x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

i feel just the same, my mil is always offering to take ds for a few hours while i get some cleaning done   cheeky moo isn't she ?  but i still don't let anyone push the pushchair, like you said i too didn't wait all that time (8 years for us) to become a mummy only to hand my ds over every chance i get, but i know i am very lucky as lots of new mummies have to go back to work so have no choice but to leave their littlies, also before anyone gets upset some parents are far more relaxed than me and enjoy time to themselves and i am not judging them, i say do whatever works for you  

pam xx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Thanks for the replies.
The only people I would leave ds with are my parents as we have been building up the amount of time that ds sees them over the past few weeks. Unfortunately something unavoidable has come up that I've got no other choice but to leave him, not something that I would have wanted to do.


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

these things happen hun   i was nervous about leaving ds with my mil for the first time as he is not used to her but my dog hurt her leg and had to go to the vets so i had no choice  

pam xx

P.s i have just realised i have left ds 3 times including the emergency    i need to get a life


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

jilldill said:


> I know what you mean Pam I want to keep Sunshine all to myself too!!! People will offer to look after her to give us a break! It's a lovely offer but I really haven't waited 9 years for my baby to arrive to then let someone else look after her while I go round the shops! Makes me laugh!
> Love JD x


You took the words out of my mouth- i have had people tell em "oh you will want a break when you have 2-3 children" and my reply is "you may have to break my fingers to get them off me- havent waited this long to give them to others to look after"

Bunbun- if you DS is used to the person.people you are living him with then dont worry too much- emergancy situations crop up

hugs

xxx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

It was 4 months before we left DS with anybody else and that was one morning at the nursery so that he could mix with other children.  We've only just left DD for the first time in 7 months because she is so much younger.  We went out for an evening whilst our friend babysat and DD was asleep in her cot.

Our situation is different as we have no family nearby and our friends nearby have older kids and mainly they work so we've mainly only had ourselves to rely on.

We were never given any rules on leaving the kids by either SS.

Cindy


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## Barbarella (Jun 11, 2005)

Hi 

We didn't leave DD until she'd been with us for 5 months.  I didn't want to then, but had no choice as I was maid of honour for my best friend of 32 years and children weren't invited - I wouldn't have left her had it been detrimental to her, but it was me who found it hard, not her.  I had to leave her for 2 nights - first night with her Daddy and the 2nd night with my Mum.  I felt sick - I knew she'd be absolutely fine, she settled with us very easily from the beginning and she had a whale of a time with her Nanny... but I drove away crying my eyes out.  I couldn't wait to get back to her.

We've since left her with both sets of grandparents a couple of times now and it's getting easier because I think both DD and I are now secure in our Mummy/daughter relationship - only Mummy will do at the moment, and I adore that.  However, I am at the stage now where I am thinking I need an afternoon break every couple of weeks.  I love being a SAHM but she's now 18 months old and is quite clingy to me, so I actually think it will do her good to stay with people she loves - to build up a stronger bond and she gets so much out of it - especially when she comes home to a refreshed Mummy.   Don't get me wrong, I don't find motherhood particularly hard, (although have my moments) but our DD is constantly on the go all day (except for her nap), she doesn't stop for a second and never just "sits" with me, or very rarely.   I also wouldn't want her scared to stay with anyone else if I was to need a stay in hospital or an emergency.  I am happy that she is secure with someone else other than me and her Daddy. 

We've also got people queueing up to have her, but I will only leave her with her Nannies who she adores and her Auntie. 

I don't mind admitting I still need "me" and "couple" time...   despite waiting for 9 years to be a Mum.  

Cxx


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