# Low AMH with long protocol?



## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Hi girls,

I will be starting my second ICSI in Oct and just found out I will be on the long protocol. This is my NHS go, they seemingly only do long protocol regardless of AMH etc. My last cycle was private and was short protocol and I got 2 eggs that fertilised (got 3 eggs in total) on 600 gonal F. My AMH was 3.3 two years ago and no doubt is alot lower now.

Just wondering if anyone has been successful on long protocol with low AMH? Not feeling very hopeful at the monent :-(


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## Cay23 (Jan 12, 2011)

Hi Em

Have you thought about having your AMH retested to see? I say this because mine was 3.64 in 2011 and exactly 2yrs later it had only gone down a little to 3.30. Still low, but not much drop.

I believe I made a big difference to my egg count through supplements. I had 2 eggs (1 fert) on round 1, 4 eggs (3 fert) on round 2 and, after starting supplements, 12 eggs on round 3! I took royal jelly, bee propolis, l-Arginine and coQ10.

I've recently had a consultation for ivf#4 at a different clinic to my other cycles and even at 3.30 they recommended long protocol, even though I asked about short. I believe they weigh up your AMH against FSH and your antral follicle count to get a better picture of which protocol to put you on.

Good luck xx


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## Sweetpea123 (Feb 26, 2013)

Hi there,

I think it depends on your consultant. My last cycle I was on short - argc only do short with low amh. However I did have consultations with lister and the dr there would have put me on long.

My amh was 3.91 in jan. I had a better outcome in terms of quality as got to blasts but again like cay23 I was on high dose coq10, l'arginine, royal jelly and loads of others!!i also did acupuncture too etc so that may of made the difference instead of protocol. Although having done both short is so much better!! No dr! 

Good luck xx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thanks so much for the replies girls. Gives me hope. I started taking maca, coq10, royal jelly + pregnacare conception a few weeks ago, hopefully that'll help. I'm going for blood tests on 16th Sept, I think they'll retest my AMH then. Cay23 that was great that your AMH only dropped a little in 2 years, again gives me hope.

Sweetpea, yeh the dr is what I'm dreading. I'm a moody c*w with pms so can only imagine what I'll be like doing dr. all I've read are girls getting headaches, moody, irritable etc. Will just have to shut myself away from the outside world for those weeks 

Thanks again girls + the very best of luck on your journeys xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

Hey girlies i too have low amh think she said 6.8 and im goong to be starting icsi on long protocol tpp. Should we really do short? Im nhs so i never feel like i can question their judgement. Ive been takin q10 l arginine royal jelly. Always feel like you dont kno if u doin right or wrong. Will u girls stop your vits at start of treatment? Sorry for typos....my phone ;-) 
Good luck xxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Hi Louimum,

I was told by my last clinic that short was best for me and so I thought it was best for everyone with low AMH. But after reading what sweetpea and cay said re long it must depend on each individual. I think FSH is another thing that they take into account too (don't know what mine was). I asked my clinic (NHS) could I do short and they told me no, that everyone has to do long when on NHS. Your clinic might be different, deffo worth your while asking. I know what you mean though bout asking questions etc, they just seem to have no interest and have a one size fits all approach. Suppose we cant complain when its saving us 5/6k!

I didnt take supplements last time so I'm not sure when you stop taking them. How much coq10 are you taking each day? I've been taking 40mg but think it may not be enough?


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## Sweetpea123 (Feb 26, 2013)

Hiya,

I was on 600mg of coq10 that's what lister recommended but was already on that dose. It's a dear do!! Xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

Yeh you deffo feel like your on a conveyor belt at my clinic doesnt seem like they have much time for tlc etc.they throw info at you then off u go. Ive learnt more about upcommin treatment on here and google. But without nhs we would have no hope.
Think im takin 100mg of q10. Ebay is good price on vits. Ive got oh on loads too as sperm not great. Costing me small fortune constantly. I just pray they actually helping xxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Jeez better increase my coq10- I bought a 10mg packet + was taking 4 a day. Had thought I might've been taking too much!! 

Will try ebay, thanks for that louimum. Yeh conveyor belt is what it is alright. I too have learned more on here and google. I went to my doc to see about taking DHEA, he had only ever heard of it for giving to OAP's for something or other. He didnt know what AMH was + told me to speak to the clinic hense me on here looking for advice!

My DH has low morphology, 99% abnormal on 1st test. Then on the day of EC it had increased by 4%. He had taken Wellman tablets for 3 months before and cut down on booze. I really think it was the combination of the two that helped. The vits should really make a difference to your DH's. When do you start your cycle? I think I'll be starting mid Oct x


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

im starting when ever i get accepted chick, basically you ring up on 1st day of af and they let you know withing 72hours if you have been accepted that cycle or not. they aim to treat you within 3months of trying, ive only been refused once so i know more when af comes in a couple of weeks. im hoping i get accepted this cycle and not the next as it may fall over the xmas period and im sure that cant be good if places close etc. 
my hubby also only had 1% morph on one of his tests, his motility is ok but not amazing but he had a really good count (i think it was 37mill) so the nurse said she doesnt think the sperm is our issue. ive still got him on father to be, l'argnine, vit c and extra zinc. ive also banned him from having baths    
you just try to do anything you can dont you not knowing if we are doing right from doing wrong. if i do get accepted my next cycle we could be having treatment at the same time  
xxxxxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

I wonder will mine be like that too. I just presumed when I got a letter asking me to go in for bloods that I'd start after my next AF arrived. I was only thinking that it would be finished before xmas. Heres hoping we cycle next month, would be horrible cycling over the xmas :-/

Yeh I think they're able to work with abnormal sperm. Our consultant from our last cycle said they could work with DH's oddly shaped sperm!

I know, you dont know what to be doing/taking. I'm nearly rattling with all the different vits I'm taking. I've heard vit D, B12 + omega 3 are good too so thinking of adding them to my concoction. Would be great if we were cycling at same time. I've only told my family about it all, just couldnt have faced telling my friends. They all had kids no probs. i found this site great for support, so nice to know your not the only one as sometimes feels that way when everyone around you falls preggers so easily. 

Meant to ask, were you told to go on all the different vits or did you just read up on them from people on here?


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

hey chick regarding the vits yeh i just mooched about on here and babycenter looking at what other ladies were taking etc, i didnt mention anything at the clinic regarding it all. alot of women are like us and filling ourselves full of vits, maybe we are wasting our time but i dunno. 
yeh it would be great to cycle together this is why i came on these sites for morale support, all my friends have babies and i know they just dont understand. when i was 1st trying they all knew and when i had to have my op last year, then the months on the clomid but when it was bfn after bfn ive sort of shut down on them all and said we have decided to give up. we was always unsure if we would recieve funding due to me having a 12 yr old (diff partner) and our postcode so i think they have just presumed we was refused. nobody really asks me anymore as i think they realise i dont want to tallk about it. i had my son young and now we are all at the age where everyone having babies, my heart breaks everytime i get the phone call off one of them or see scans on fbk. im happy for people but i definatly find myself isolating myself when they all meeting up etc, as its all baby talk. i know they would feel funny chatting as normal infront of me so im trying to stay away and focus on myself for a bit. im such a pessimistic person so i need to chill myself out before it all starts else i can see me going crazzzzzyyy hahaha!!!
what did the clinic actually say about ringing up on af? xxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Aw thats lovely that you have a son. Good sign too as you know you can get pregnant. I'd be very surprised if the ICSI didn't work. You've double the AMH I had 2 years ago! hoping and praying mine hasn't declined too much  . What op did you have done? Hope alls sorted now.

I have a little boy too, two eggs fertilised on my last cycle, one was of a good grade and the other was okish. I got them both transferred at ET on day two and was very lucky to get a bfp. My consultant at the time and also the NHS consultant told me I was very very lucky + got it by skin of my teeth. Makes me even more nervous this time around as I'm two years on now (37) and having that said to you by professionals doesn't give alot of hope.

I did the exact same thing re isolation with friends, just gets hard when everyone else you know falls pregnant so easily. I've a good few friends on their 2nd pregnancy now (all got preg on 1st time of trying!). I've everyone on at me bout when I'm going again+dont leave a gap, im not getting any younger blah blah. Could scream sometimes. I just keep saying I'm not ready yet + if I leave it til its too late then so be it-shuts them up  I never told any of them as couldnt bare the sympathy etc. its weird how you react in diff situations, I normally tell everyone everything, its the one and only thing ive ever kept private. 

My clinic said i'd be in for bloods on 16th Sept then I've to ring or send a form into them when AF arrives and then I'd start the sprays on day 21 which would be mid Oct. Hopefully all the vits we're pumping into ourselves will get us some good eggs    xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

gosh you really sound like me, i usually tell me friends everything but the words will just not come out of my mouth. its so heartbreaking isnt it. did they know you had to have ivf for you son? huge congratulations on him, love  a positive ivf story, suppose at least your quite prepared as to what is coming with the hospital etc. 

yeh i was only 19 when i got pregnant with my son, obviously a little accident with my ex. i had a very bad labour with a emcs, they think maybe my internal problems are down to this as i had infection afterwards. i had been ttc for ages before i went for any help and when i finally had my lap discovered had totally been wasting my time as there was 100% no chance of bfp. 

they havent mentioned sprays to me, i think everything im having is a injection but suppose i wont know until my teach appointment. 
xxxxxxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Oh God that was terrible bout your labour + annoying that it was the cause of you having to go down this route. Life can be so unfair sometimes. 

Yeh its heart breaking not being able to tell friends, like you the words just wont come out. I was very close to telling 1 friend who is single + no kids but decided not to. I Speak to my sisters + mam bout it if I need to. No I didnt tell them I had IVF for my son. I thankfully got away with it as got preggers 7 months after getting married (hadnt told any1 we were trying before we got married). I just know I'd be topic of conversation + also I wouldnt trust them with a few drinks, they'd blab to every Tom, Dick + Harry!

Yeh suppose I'm prepared for what lies ahead but the DR will be all new to me hense the dread. I'm on tabs that prevent migraines as I get them bad + Im going to have to go off them during treatment. One of the side effects of DR are headaches so just hoping it doesnt spark them off. So frustrating that we've to do all this when others can just get it so easily  

The fact they havent mentioned sprays to you, I wonder will you go on short protocol. Would be great if they did. It literally is just injections for bout 2 weeks + thats it. I started mine at start of Aug and did preg test at end of Aug, was great. The long one seems to be so dragged out + less natural. The whole putting your body into menopause freaks me out!! xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

yeh i must admit i know i dont know alot about ivf yet but when she said long protocol i was a bit gutted as from what i read short sounds sooooooo much easier. to be honest i could be having sprays because she didnt 100% go through all my drugs properly im presuming i will learn all about them at my teach. what do the sprays do? is that the burselin? i presumed that was injection. gosh its all so bloody confusing

having your ivf son must make things a little easier as your living prooof it can actually work!! obviously it could be me soon but i feel so sorry for the women who go through this whole process to get a bfn, that must be so bloody heartbreaking. i cant think that far yet tho, doesnt even bear thinking about yet. 
did you get any side effects last time? also how did you go about egg collection? dreading that, wish they would just knock me out proper but they wont will they


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## Cay23 (Jan 12, 2011)

Em05 said:


> The fact they havent mentioned sprays to you, I wonder will you go on short protocol.


There are two ways you can down regulate (shut your body down) on long protocol - either using injections of Burserelin or sniffing Synarel aka Nafarelin.
They sometimes give patients who have nasal problems or hayfever the jabs rather than the sniffs, but in the main the choice is simply because a clinic prefers one over the other.

xx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thanks for that Cay, good to know x

Yeh I was gutted too when I heard I was doing long protocol. The burserelin/synarel as Cay said shuts your body down, puts it into menopause type of thing. 

Having my little fella makes it easier for sure. There hasnt been one day where I havent thought how lucky I am to have him. I cant imagine how it feels for girls to go through it all and get a bfn. My heart goes out to them. 

From what I remember I got very few side effects from the injections, bit of tiredness and bloated belly. I was very nervous starting injections but its amazing how quickly you get used to them. Dont be worrying bout egg collection. They sedate you so you're only really half aware as to whats going on. I kept falling asleep from what I remember   Not sure bout being knocked out, ask them at your next apt if its an option. I was really worried bout it too and was so surprised how quick and painless it was. Try not think bout it too much, it isnt as bad as you think xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

thank you cay!!! always glad of any info hun 

i mentioned to the nurse at the signing appointment i would 100% prefer to be knocked out but she said they dont do it. she said ohhhh you be ok, i was thinking ohhh yeh why have you had your eggs took out of your body whilst your awake haha!!! suppose its just going to be another one of them things ill have to deal with. this is why my oh gets so frustrated at me cos it hasnt even began yet and im already stressing about something and then it will be something else after that    its not even pain im actually freaking about its more the thought of lying there in a theater awake, knowing whats going on etc. 
xxxxxxxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Im the exact same, I worried and stressed bout every step of the treatment + swore I'd stop if I got a bfp as all worries would be gone....but no, I worried for the full pregnancy (mainly the first bit). Went for private scans and everything just to make sure he was alright, nutjob that I am.

Honestly though, dont freat too much bout EC, I felt really out of it + didnt care less where I was as the sedation was so good. Think I told them that too when they asked me was I ok during the proceedure  My main worry this time is not making it to EC. Heads melted thinking that my ovaries are now withered rasins with no eggs in them. I was so much healthier last time round. I've more weight on now and dont exercise as much as I did and also had better diet. I'm trying now to combat all those things with treatment around corner but hoping its enough   I'm not sure they'll even test my AMH as it doesnt state that in the letter bout the bloods apt. Maybe im better off not knowing what it is!!! xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

yeh thats what my oh said about me, we was never confident we would recieve funding, so that was stress stress stress then when we found out we had funding i then started stressing about treatment, side effects etc etc. he was saying ''agggggrrr you wanted ivf so bad, now you have it your still stressing'' i cant even think as far as stressing through pregnancy as a bfp just seems like it will never ever happen for us yet. since going for fertility investigations 2yrs ago its been one bit of bad news after another, then all them months on clomid praying for a positive preg test and no luck i just cant even think that ivf could work for us one bit. i think with my personality being the way it is i just have to focus on each part of it all as it comes, just got to think about waiting for af now and ringing again and hopefully get accepted. then it will be the teach appointment which im not looking forward to either  
i know exactly how you feel about weight etc, im not into exercise etc and since my operation and all them months on clomid i put 2stone on, have never been so big. when we went for our 1st appointment they said my bmi was 30.8 and they were not happy at all, i since dieted alot and managed to get a stone off and my bmi is now ok. im dying to get some more off since this but have totally hit a wall and keep messing up at weekends.
i didnt know they were going to test for amh i think its just the standard thing they look for in your initial tests, but if they are aware you had it done before maybe they wont retest you. i know what you mean about stressing about your eggs, since i found out about my amh ive been stressing about that too. agggggghhhh whats it like all this


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Yeh I think thats the best way to do it, focus on each step as it comes. Can be too over whelming when you think of the full thing.

Good on you loosing the stone. Im the same, hate excercise. I put nearly 4 stone on during pregnancy. Have lost the majority but just cant seem to shift the last bit. My belly looks 6 months pregs, can just imagine what it'll be like with the injections   

Dont worry bout your AMH. 6 is not too bad at all, you're doing and taking everything right. You might even get some good ones to freeze   

I know ... The whole thing is so daunting. Was chatting to my mam bout it all this evening. She hates the thought of me doing it, I prob shouldnt give her as much detail as I do but the blabber mouth I am cant help myself!

DH is out on the beer tonight....its a mans world! xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

sorry for the late reply huni i havent really been online this weekend, how are you feeling 
my mum is the same really, but since ive told her about it she keeps trying to read up on different things and passes on any info. quite cute really. people deffo see ivf as '''oh you have ivf you have a baby'' i think aggggghhh its not so bloody simple. people dont see the ivf that doesnt work do they. 

so 6.8 isnt too bad hun? the nurse said it to me as if im buggard, i was so shocked to hear the news so did loads of googling when i got home and this is why im taking loads of vits, just hope they arent pointless  

im sick of ivf being at the forefront of my mind constantly, im doing my own head in with it all, life can be so hard at times cant it


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Hiya, hope you had a good weekend and managed to switch the IVF part of your brain off for a bit!

Oh I know how u feel having IVF at forefront of your mind. I think its starting to get me a wee bit down at the mo. Its like when you forget bout it for a while (short while mind you), you're happy etc then when you remember its like a tonne of bricks hitting you. Didnt think I'd be dreading it as much. I think the idea of long protocol has made it all worse. My bloods apt is next Mon so going to go in armed with questions. Main one being is there any point in me bothering when AMH is so low. If private clinics werent so expensive I'd just give up my NHS go and go witb them.

Yeh people seem to think IVF guarantees babies.You really have to go through it to understand how much of a tough journey the whole infertility thing is. Im just glad I managed to keep it to myself, couldnt face everyone asking constantly. 

Nah I dont think 6.6 is bad at all. Mine was 3.3 two years ago and I got 3 eggs. But I know of girls with AMH of 2 and got more eggs than me so dont mind that nurse, you'll be grand wait til you see. The vits will do you no harm anyway, alot of people swear they improve eggs, hense me downing them by the dozen this time  Thats of course if I have any left!! 

Are you finding it hard to do the hole healthy living thing? I get spurts of motivation for bout 2 days then hit a wall + pig out n dont exercise. I'm deffo worse this time around altho I did only get three weeks notice before treatment last time. 

Well im off to eat a salad after an hours walk (having a motivated day today haha) x


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

hahaha gosh we are so bloody similar its untrue, i HATE exercise with a passion, as far as dieting goes im ok all week then mess it up every weekend on my wine/takeaways etc. we recently bought a house so dont get to go out much so that is our social life and its very very hard to give it up. do you like a drink? i only have a drink at weekends but i do enjoy it, think im going to give it up 100% when treatment starts though. 
yeh short protocol sounds sooooo much easier doesnt it, you could have a bfp within 28days i think on short. 

didnt think you would be nhs with your child, its such a postcode lottery isnt it. we get 2goes (but fet doesnt count as a go) but some people around my area get 1 and some get 3. 
i found out through here that the injection teach is a group thing, apparently at my hosp they have about 4 women in at once, then you all individually go for a pre op alone. how weird is that!! i do understand it makes them able to see more people in one cycle. bit weird tho ay. 
can you remember how long your teach appointment lasted?? debating taking hubby as he will be the one doing the injections but its very hard to get him out of work, he doesnt want lads at work knowing and realistically he doesnt have to let anyone know as men dont have to go to the clinic as much as us women do they. obviously he will have to take a day off for EC. but thats it really isnt it. did you take hubby to it all xxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

You sound a bit better than me....at least you mess up on the diet just at weekends.  I start messing up at the weekends too but sometimes I extend to loooong weekends!!  Yeh I like a drink too, we're the same with not getting out too much together and have got into the habit of having a few at home at weekends too.  I'll give it up during treatment too, will be tough as its become such a habit, an enjoyable one at that!  The consultant in my last clinic said its mainly smoking that effects egg quality.  When I was given my AMH result, I started feeling guilty that maybe it was my fault from the heavy partying in my 20's & early 30's but he said no, that you're basically born with a certain amount of eggs and that's it but that smoking does effect them.  

I didn't think I'd get my NHS go with a child too but when I enquired they said it was fine.  I was waiting to be put on the list when I found out my AMH result from private clinic so I decided to start treatment with them right away.  I informed the NHS and they told me to go back to them 3 months after having him and they'd put me on the waiting list.  That's great you get 2 goes. Mad how it changes in different postcodes, seems very unfair.  

Jeez that's weird alright bout your teach, not sure what the story is with mine, will find out next Mon and let you know.  From what I remember mine didn't last long, bout 15/20 mins but that was a one on one in private clinic, might be different with NHS especially if there's other couples and then you've to go in separately. My DH didn't go to that apt as I was doing the injections myself.  If you feel more comfortable taking him then do or what you could do is make sure you know exactly what to do before you leave and just show him when you get home.  Write everything down when you're there too.  They're pretty straight forward, they've to be done bout an inch below your belly button.  One goes straight in and the other goes in at an angle. I took DH to EC and also to ET, it wasn't necessary taking him to ET as you're in and out very quickly and he was just there for support really. He went back to work after and I lay on the sofa all day    

I just heard that a girl at my clinic who was due to start treatment this week was told they weren't taking her this month so my clinic is obviously the same as yours.  She said she has to do the bloods and send in the letter again when her next AF arrives.  Seems crazy doesn't it.  I'm just thinking if they don't take me next month it'll deffo be xmas that I'd be cycling over ..... the thoughts of it    x


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

yes i know thats what im dreading too, if i dont get in on this af it will take us over xmas, that would be a nightmare wouldnt it. 
last night i went on youtube and looked at women showing their ivf injections (god knows where i got that idea from lol) i couldnt sleep, but actually watching them needles etc made me feel a little better.....im saying that now haha!!! some women in america even has her husband filming eg and et......no way would i put that on net  
think i might take my mum to my teach and then only need hubby at ec and et, do the men come in with you for these? xxxxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thats good that the video made you feel bit better bout needles. It all seems so much when you see all the meds but it is fine once you get started. As for filming EC + ET....not on your nelly would I do that-pure nuts!

Good idea bout your mam at teach apt.  Hubby stays in another room for EC. He'll be busy doing his 'deposit'   You'll see him as soon as your done. He can go in for ET, its so quick. You're in and out in no time. Then the dreaded two week wait starts!!!! x


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

for me the 2ww seems sooooooo bloody far away now, i can imagin it will be awful such a dragged out proccess. ill be totally utterly crazy by then i know what im like  
do you feel more confident going into this 2nd time round? its so amazing how it worked for you 1st time isnt it, the thought of a failed cycle breaks my heart now, them poor poor women who have been through this (it could be me soon  ) but it must just be heart wrenching going through all them awful drugs and horrid procedures to a bfn at the end. people who have never suffered infertility just dont have a clue do they. 
im 32 now so i know this is my last ditch attempt at another baby really, when me and oh 1st got together i wanted 3more kids......how naive was i!!! if i am to get my bfp through this ivf thats me done, i cannot put myself through all this again no way. ive told him i dont want to go on pill etc afterwards but there no way ill be ''trying''. although we got a few issues against us we ''could'' eventually end up pregnant so if it happens again it happens. if that makes sense. i know this sounds nutty, please dont think i think im mystic meg or anything haha but i just see myself with a little girl. no more kids after that. i just hope my little girl is from this bloody awful time and it will hopefully be all worth it ay


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Oh you'll deffo be loola on the 2ww. The closer the test date came the more anxious I got. I rember my mam offering me a zanex 3 days before I tested. I was totally wound up. I ended up testing 2 days early as cudnt wait. 

Yeh I was very lucky indeed especially with the low amount of eggs collected. I'm convinced my dear dad was looking out for me. Feel alot less confident this time as its 2 years on and amh can decline a great deal. I just turned 37 so age deffo not on my side. I feel alot less healthy + fit this time. I got my notes from my last clinic yesterday. I'm a stone heavier than I was before my last treatment + no doubt BMI is alot more too   I'll be grateful if I make it to ET. Oh I know, it must be the worst thing ever to get a bfn after putting yourself through all the drugs etc both mentally and physically. I think you have a very good chance, I'd say its down to DH's swimmers thats not making it happen naturally. With ICSI you'll have the best chance to get your little girl  

If I get a failed cycle this time, I might just try one more time with private clinic and that will be it. Obviously depending on AMH etc and if they think its worth my while. I might have reached menopause by then!

Its gas as for some reason I think if Im lucky enough to get preg again, I can see another boy. Dont know why. As I was on the first, I dont mind what I'd have as wud be so delighted it worked.

Does your son know bout the ivf or will you make something up for the clinic apts?


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

yeh i 100% wont be bothered boy or girl, i just see me with a little girl this time, god knows why, also i could be completely wrong haha!! 
there is noooooooo way ill be able to hold of testing until the clinic tells me to, i know what im like ill be a nut job. 
the hospital i had my operations and now the ivf clinic do not think that hubbys swimmers are causing us any problems, i just dont get why they they dont think the 1% morph is a problem. to be honest i think its a bit of both of us, maybe if i was with a man with supersperm id be preg and if my hubby was with a woman without dodgy insides he would be a dad. if that makes sense, but im no bloody doctor haha!! suppose it doesnt actually really matter ay, just got to focus on the ivf working  
how bad are the side effects hun?#
did i tell u about the hypnotherapy cd i ordered to try and chill me out   it arrived today, not usually into all that but ill try anything, keep u posted how it is xxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Thats mad the clinic saying that bout it not being DH's swimmers. I was told with morphology that low its more or less impossible for it to happen naturally. Its funny cause our DH's are ideal candidates for ICSI as they can work with the abnormal shaped sperm. Girls with low AMH can get preggers naturally, just takes bit more time. 

Side effects are fine, some girls get none. I just felt tired for first few days and bit of a headache (nothing major), then after few days I got nothing but bloated belly. Not sure bout the sprays (the first part of long protocol) as will be new to me. Try not worry bout it too much, take each day as it comes. You'll be fine , wait til you see.

Will look forward to hearing what you think of the CD, some girls swear by them. xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

doesnt it annoy you when diff docs say diff things, i think morph is a very big grey area regarding fertility. ive heard so many different things, to be honest its looking like maybe the morph has maybe prevented our bfp since my op. my cons at the time was sooooo certain i would get preg after it. but he said the same as the ivf clinic, as he has a good count the morph shouldnt really effect us. agggggrrr god knows haha!!!

gosh i hope your right about the side effects, suppose ive just gotta wait and see. hope i find it quite easy too xxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Oh I know, people are told so many different things in the land of infertility! Suppose its down to each individual case. Yeh morph is a grey area alright. 

I went for my blood screening apt ystday. I asked if there was any chance I could do a short protocol but was told no (no shock there!). So just waiting on AF to arrive now and see will they take me this month. Waiting room was packed, just so sad to see so many people struggling to get what other people easily get :-(


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

i know i would looooove short protocol too, sounds so so much better. but i suppose we gotta trust that they know what they are doing and what we need to get our dream ay. 
i get so annoyed seeing how many people are struggling like us, its so heartbreaking and upsetting. then you hear or see people who just look at one another and boom preg. life can be so cruel cant it xxxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

It sure can. Just spent the afternoon with a friend who has a 15 month DS and she announced shes preggers again, said it just took the once!!! Was happy for her but had that horrible feeling in my stomach...probably jealousy. She kept on and on at me to get pregnant again as I'm getting old and shouldnt leave a big gap blah blah. I kept saying I wasnt ready + find it hard work + not sure I want another. She completly ignored that + went on at me for the afternoon. Would've loved to have shouted out bout everything but couldnt. Felt so p*ssed off when I got home as she kept saying how spoilt and lonely my DS would be without a sis or bro, cant get it out of my mind now. Downing a large vino as I type to try lift my mood! Suppose its cause I've little hope that it'll work this time as my last cycle I got such few eggs. Met another friend on Sat who is 6 months preg + again only took the once, she was also on at me. Said I was selfish if I dont go again as not fair on DS. 

Think I need to start meeting up with my single friends for the next while!!!


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

people just do not understand do they, i mean even if you werent struggling to concieve nobody should call you selfish for not having a sibling for your little un, its not anyones buissness!! the fact that your going through what your going through just makes it so so worse. ive found myself totally distancing myself from my friends at the min as they are a total baby brigade and i just cant take it. we are away next weekend girls only but hopefully that wont be too bad and baby talk will be at a minimum as obviously babies not coming along. i just cant handle it at the min and find i only come away so so upset and depressed so if they meeting for coffee etc i just stay away. my friends all knew i was struggling to ttc for a long time, then i had my big op which everyone thought would have resulted in a baby but since then ive told them all ive stopped trying, told them i gave it my best try by having my op and taking clomid etc and now we have decided to leave it there. they will presume i have been refused ivf due to my son so it makes them all leave me alone haha!!! i know ill be major topic of convo when they all meet up etc but im just not in the group at the min. 3 of them have had babies in the last 2yrs and one of them (who had internal problems like me and was told ivf only chance) is now preg with second baby within 6months of 1st    when i found out about the second one i cried for 3days, i feel so so sefish feeling this way but i just cant stop my bitterness. gosh i sound awful dont i


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Not at all. I think any girl going thru this gets bitter. I thought once I had a baby I'd never feel that way again but its just the same, a bit less but very much there still. I would absolutely love a bro or sis for my wee man and makes me so sad to think my crock of a body may not be able to give him one. Just so annoying when it happens so quickly and easily for other people. When my friend told me the other day that she was expecting no. 2 I just wanted to walk off and go home. Probably knowing whats ahead for the coming months made me more sensitive. I was exact same as you last time with distancing myself. I'm actually arranging to meet as many friends as I can in the coming weeks so I can disappear off the radar during treatment!

Thats nice that you have a girlie weekend to look forward to next weekend. Hopefully they'll keep the baby talk to a min, if they dont try change subject as quick as you can


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

Forgot to say, I got AF on Fri so sent my form in. Fingers crossed we'll cycle in Oct and not Nov


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

i feel guilty of how bitter and twisted i am at the min, glad im not alone, i hate how this is all making me but i cant help it. im deffo like you though and just want to retreat when treatment starts, want to be left alone lol. 
just got af today so ill be ringing in morning    hope we both get accepted hun, what clinic are you at?? 
xxx


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## Em05 (Jun 15, 2011)

I know I'm the same. I hate feeling so bitter and begrudging. If my first cycle wasnt a success I'd hate to see what I'd be like!!!

Great that you got AF. What did they say to you this morning? Hope they're able to take you this month   I'm in Belfast at the Royal (RFC). You in England? xx


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## louimum (Jul 12, 2012)

ive private messaged you huni, let me know if you dont get it xxxx


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