# this sucks!!!



## first timer (Jun 28, 2006)

WARNING; Moan about to commence!!

We've been trying for a baby for 3 years..having conceived my gorgeous boy naturally. I have taken clomid, gone two rounds with IVF (and lost), and now my eggs are 'bad'.....so there is some chance but not much. I am dealing with this pretty well....most of the time!!

In the last two days my sister-in-law is pregnant and today so is my friend. I thought I had overcome the challenge of begrudging others their babies....and in my sane moments I am true to this - but not today. Todays it hurts so much  . I believe that their is an endless supply of babies and one day it will be my turn, so be happy for other when it's their turn...but today the blue sky is black and I have shouted at my son - who deserves so much better.....today I am not coping at all. I genuinely believed that I had dealt with most of this negative stuff and its shocked me that the pain is still so raw.

Moan OVER!! Had to get it off my chest....with people who know that I am not entirely barking mad.


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## honeyprincess (Jun 6, 2006)

hiya hun

Oh we all have days like that ur not barking mad.....if u r that makes 2 of us!! 
I dont really know what to say to make you feel better as I do struggle to cope when i hear of other peoples pregnancies, and on days when u feel crap it just feels so much worse, and then it seems every1 is gettin preg but not us! Now im ranting!!

Anyway just so u know u r not alone, and im sure tomorrow will be a brighter day!

Take care 
Lots of love
Laura xxx


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## cinders35 (Feb 23, 2007)

Its absolute pants aint it?! 
I've said it before and I'll say it again, why won't these people just get in the queue like the rest of us?!! It's GOT to be our turn soon?!! Surely?! Hold on to that fact!
I have a new mantra for stressful times, just like these first timer.

I CAN HAVE A BABY, I WILL HAVE A BABY, I CAN HAVE A BABY, I WILL HAVE A BABY!!!! U get the idea.
Probably best to say it in your head, unless you are alone, as you may get some funny looks otherwise. Believe me!!
Wish I could make it better, but we all know the thing that will really sort it is that elusive bfp!!
I wish you well, and hope that we all find a way to reach our dreams, somehow....
Love and thoughts with you,
Cindersxxx


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## samblue (Apr 5, 2007)

Hi first timer!

Sending you huge hugs hun, know how you feel!
I go thro phases where i notice every pg woman or baby (pretty bad at mo, due to being very aware of my time running out)
Worst one was when SIL announced she was pg with IVf twins, last year, very, very sad coz they were born too early at 22 weeks, so did feel so bad for them.  But when she first announced it i felt absolutely gutted (makes me sound really bad and selfish, but i hope you know what i mean) and a complete failure to be the only one in the family not to have managed to provide my DH with an heir.  Felt really bad after she lost them.
For years I've been scared of getting pg again in case i have another m/c (had 4), but now i'm scared i'm never even going to get pg again(dodgy eggs?). Seems like i did something very wrong in a previous life to have maybe found out why had m/c's at last, but now can't seem to get that bfp! Life does suck!
Anyway, i'm off to eat cake and cuddle my DH, keep your chin up kiddo, tomorrow's another day!!#
take care, luv sam xxx


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## MIMI4 (Feb 16, 2007)

Yes I had a bad month last month and often feel just like you. Getting preg is just so easy for some people (us not included). There are times when I end up shouting at my son and feel terrible afterwards. Letting it all out on this website where others understand EXACTLY how you feel (cos others haven't a clue) can really help. I have to say though that it's great to see how many of us do get a BFP after all we/they have been through. I just get cross with friends when they have a BFP and weren't even trying...........I'm on 2ww now......yet again. Keep reading all the preg symptoms and telling myself, 'oh I think I've got that'. But it's like that every month. In fact when I fell preg with my son I have PMS and all the usual signs that AF was coming then it didn't! 

One day maybe............


MIMI4x


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## tinkerbellsmum (Mar 11, 2005)

aww hun i'm so sorry ttc is being so cruel to u hope u get a bfp very soon


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## Becs64 (Nov 30, 2006)

So many of us in similar situations - my SIL had twins last year, and this year she had another!  However this was after 4 years of fertility problems - also with secondary infertility you are surrounded by people with babies - all my NCT friends went on to have their second children with no problems at all - they have come round here and all sat talking about how many children they want - and they all know I am having problems - people just don't think - however, I do think with secondary infertility, as frustrating as it is, you have to hang on to the fact that you are a mum, and  you are not having that awful thoughts that you will never be a mum - which must be so heartbreaking.  First daughter conceived in 2 months of trying - now 2.5 years down the line and still trying!


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