# Feeling old!



## Anya 2 (Jun 16, 2006)

Hi Ladies,
Im aged 41 and have just got a negative result from my 1st IVF. Trying to feel positive but struggling! Ive been told my best option for a 'woman of my age' is to use donor eggs. However, my partner has said no and wont be persuaded.
Should I give up all hope now?
Jackie x


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Hi Jackie,
I am 41 too and am not giving up hope yet ! The success rates are low for over 40s, but it can and does work. There is plenty information on this site to help you. What ACU are you at ?

Why not join us on the Goldies thread ?


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Jackie

I'm really sorry to hear about your BFN.  As Lorri says, the success rates are low for over 40s but it's not impossible for it to work for people our age.  If you want to keep trying with your own eggs, don't be put off. 

Best wishes

Ellie


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## Be11a (Jun 28, 2006)

Hello to all of you feeling old! 

I have recently embarked on treatment for ICSI and am 40 in August - I had EC yesterday and had 11 eggs but they were only able  to retrive 10 - the clinic called today to say that all 10 eggs would have been suitable for the injecting but only 8 were fertilised, so we will be freezing the other 6 (yipee) - I am going for ET on Friday pm.

So you see beng 40 or nearly 40 does not have to mean you cannot use your own eggs, perhaps those clinics are trying to improve there stats and that is why they discourage us from using our own!

Good luck to all of you, I have been reading this website and it has been a great help, reading everyone's feeling's and knowing that I am not the only one whose brain has been in their pants since starting tratment. (cant even type anymore) I am not very technically up on all these smileys etc so have kept this email simple! Perhaps I can perfect the art of smileys etc during my 2WW.  
Thinking of you all. Pants!!!!


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Hello Pants,
Welcome, and congratulations on a bumper crop and frosties to boot. Good luck for ET on Friday  


My clinic won't freeze until embryos reach blastocyst stage  , so I have never achieved frosties.

xx


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## Be11a (Jun 28, 2006)

Hope all goes well for you this 3rd time - it is all so mental the whole process, good luck with the stimms.  I will not patronise and say think positvely just take good care of yourself and thanks for your email.

Pants


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## vicky r (Feb 6, 2006)

Hi Jackie,
Just wanted to say I'm 43 and conceived at first IVF at 42.5....told by consultant that I had a 10% chance of conceiving and 40% chance of miscarrying - not there yet but currently 24 weeks pregnant.  You seem young to me   I know the media try and make out that women having children in their 40s is a modern thing but I don't believe it is - my gran had my ma at 41 in 1922 and then another child at 44 in 1925, my ma had me at 41....... Obviously as we all know its easier younger but for a lot of us that isn't a choice for a variety of reasons.  We had tought about donor eggs as one of our many plan Bs but didn't have to.  I was also told by my consultant that there was no way I would conceive 1st time and that 1 go =10% chance 2nd go=20% etc...
Wishing you the very best of luck you youngster,
Vicky x


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## collymags (Jan 3, 2006)

Hi Ladies

thought i'd share my story as it might just help.  met dp in 2003 through internet dating agency, within months moved in, but already had begun ttc, neither of us had children before (late starters).  commenced ivf route april 2005 having not been able to start sooner because of high fsh (24 at one stage). anyhow 1st attempt, with heaps of drugs only produced 2 eggs, which did fertilise, but never implanted.  next went for donor eggs from my younger sister, 25 eggs, 15 fertilised  lost 6 early on.  i'd a bfn for that cycle.  in april did a FET, 3 out of 5 embryo's perished on thawing, and again another bfn.    couldn't get follow up appt until 26th june, after bfn on 9th may.  went on hols, had a drink everynight, and just chilled no talk about ivf.  had a bleed when away but only for a few hours. didn't think much of it because of having had heaps of drugs. however on the morning of appt. decided to do a hpt in work(have access to them there, plus not expecting anything untoward)  but it was a screaming BFP,  that was monday 26th, got scanned at hosp. and saw a teeny weeny beanie with heartbeat!!!!!!!!!. the consultant said its a bit of a miracle, ?6wks,  so sounds like it was us and not ivf.  i was 43 on the 7th of june, so absolutely no spring chicken.  so ladies, it'd appear not to be impossible.  not saying the pg word yet, need to get further along.  each day i wake up praying(am not holy) and hoping, my boobs still ache and i get tired, as it means things ok.  next scan 20th july, wish it was that date tomorrow.  my thoughts are with all you ladies, age certainly adds a scary bit onto ivf, there's no denying that,  we can but hope eh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## libra (Jun 23, 2006)

Hi,all,
thought I'd share my experiences-hope it helps.
I'm 42,just had 4th IVF & then FET.Got 17 eggs,16 fertilised-3 transfered,6 frozen(our clinic only freeze grade 1)the consultant said DP sperm results were poor,wouldn't get fertilisation without ICSI(Cons got that one wrong!)Sadly BFN.But looking at the successes on the over 40's category shows that it's possible!!! 
Women of our age can get preg naturally so why shouldn't those needing assistance,afterall we haven't reached menopause age yet!!!
It is a difficult time after a BPN-go with your feelings-gain as much info as you can to help you with your decisions.I wish I had more info earlier on,but only recently discovered sites such as this.EXCELLENT source of info & support.
Myself I'm having a few investigations(clotting,immunology etc)before deciding if to try again with my own eggs.I can understand how difficult it is if DP feels differently-mine is totally against Donor eggs.Even mentioned the word  *'adoption'* when trying to have a 'what if' conversation-bluntly refuses.

Congrats to collymags & Vicky r-inspiration to us oldies.

Libra x


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