# Frustrated! (Glasgow, East Ayrshire)



## hornauth (Nov 16, 2005)

hi all.....i've been a member of ff for so long i actually can't remember ever not having it in my life!  we went down a long route of fertility treatments...after too many heart breaking fails we have started our adoption journey.  we 1st made a phone call about adoption about 2 years ago but then decided to give ivf another go..........our next phone call was in october last year...we were told to wait 6 months so after 6 months i phoned again and we were put on waiting list for info night, that happened pretty quickly then we went to prep groups in may....they told us there that assessment etc would, all going well, be done in the next 8-9 months.    we go through glasgow for baby adoption but we live in east ayrshire so it's east ayrshire who do the home assessment....so after prep our files get sent to east ayrshire...it actually got sent to us by mistake!!  but i handed it in to east ayrshire...now having seen the file i know it said in it they wanted an inital interview done and all paperwork sent back to glasgow within 4 weeks...it's now nearly 6 weeks since i handed that letter in and nothing....so i called them and she said i hadn't been assigned a worker yet but i should receive a letter by Friday (it's Tuesday, still nothing) and that when it comes to home assessment she really didn't know when it could start but it could very well be months!  this isn't the information glasgow gave us!  i don't know whether to phone glasgow and see if they can chase them or not?  i'm so frustrated....we know in glasgow there is a dire need for adopters and we have so much love to give and want to get things moving.      can anyone tell me how long the beginning of this journey actually takes??  thanks.....xx


----------



## scotchie (Mar 6, 2008)

hey stranger    I saw your post and couldn't not reply. I can't help with the timescales etc, but could you phone glasgow and say to them you haven't heard anything from EA and could they chase it up for you? It might be a long shot but might be worth a try 
Hope you and dh are well, I often think about you xx


----------



## Daizy (Feb 25, 2011)

Hi hornauth,
We are within the same consortium. Our assessment started about 3 months after initial interview (we actually started our assessment at the same time as starting prep group). The waiting isn’t easy, so you have my sympathy (though I have to tell you – because I wish someone had prepared me lol – that the wait from approval to linking is by far the most torturous of times). 
Hope things start to move soon for you. 
D x


----------



## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

Hi guys! been reading this thread with much interest! Hubbie and I are thinking of adopting ... Have just finished another failed IVF and we have had enough!! Our first attempt at IVF resulted in pregnancy and a stillbirth at 25 weeks = complete and utter nightmare!!! Then recent FET unsuccessful. We are now so fed up of the IVF rollercoaster.  


My question really  is ; how long after OTD results can you apply? We did enquire Dec 2008 to Glasgow and attended the first meeting however I decided to try IVF first. With no success and a lot of heartache!....Now we would like to look into adoption again. Ive been reading loads of posts on here and is it as difficult as I suspect? We are in East Ayrshire also and my step mum says it can take years(2-3) to find a child - is this true?


Hope you get this message as was unsure how to message any of you directly!! Thanks for your help!    Noodles 1


----------



## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya ladies    

we were thru Glasgow Baby Adoption but it was our LA that carried out the assesment. I think sw'ers are like spanish - everything is tomorrow!    but its sooo frustrating. have a look at my diary as i cant quite remember the timescales etc but i do remember pestering the hell outta Glasgow to the point i think they got us moving quicker to stop me from bugging them!    

Pm me if you have any questions and should hopefully be able to help xxxxx


----------



## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hey Hornauth!

Welcome  I think i'm roughly at the same stage as you and through GWAS altho diff LAC.  Ours has been quite fast then big dry spells.  

Our timescale has been Nov - inquired whether we could go on Dec prep (as originally started initial inquiries >18months before and had almost 12 months free of Tx). Finished prep in Jan, then had enormouse wait for Glw to get forms out to LAC (as they wanted all of prep back first and one was delayed/missing). Got initial interview done with LAC in March then back to Glw.  They were supposed to turn them around in 4-6 weeks but took over 8.  Now been assigned a SW but waiting on her finishing her hols to get going with HS yipee!
I havent hounded but have stayed in touch with both my SW at LAC (who I had hoped would take us on as I really like her) and my Glw contact who I like lots too and just keep them both informed.  my LAC did say things get lost in communication etc so feel free to check with them where its at.  Bearing in mind a lot of it is still papertrails so 1 day you get told they dont have anything, the next they have it front of them.

The wait is hard going but I am actually enjoying getting house ready - silly stuff like getting outside painted, windows cleaned, new guttering all for our portfolio lol.  Once weather turns it will be back to continue my massive clearout and change wardrobes around.  At some stage I expect to be run off my feet being a mummy so this is the best chance I will have ;-D

Let me know how you get on and if any contacts I can give you.  Happy to stay in touch too if you want a buddy going through the same stage
Luv gertie x


----------



## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

THANKS Calmly and Gertie. Starting to get my head around it all. Will need to look and see what all the abbreviations mean......Thinking I need a little more time to think about it all. It is such a huge step and I need to be 100%. Take care and I will update you soon! Noodles 1 xx


----------



## hollie2 (Apr 27, 2009)

hi
we are just along the road from you.  In north Ayrshire

we are going through the social worker visits at the moment. its the same as ureself go through glasgow but north ayrshire are doin Home visits.  
contacted glasgow glasgow last march 2010 but had to call back in july as we hadnt waited 6 months since last ivf.  called again july, they sent infomration out. went to info evening in october.  had prep group in december 2010, filled out forms and sent back  straight away but was delay in glasgow as they were waiting on other peoples forms.  initial visit in march then more paper work to be filled out and told we wd be appointed a social worker.  ist visit in june we had our 5th visit yesterday and sw coming back for 6th visit next week to do health n safety check of house and go over more things - hopfully we are half way if not more than half way with visits.  think she is hoping to get us to approval panel by november or december.  references still have to be chased up and we still have to have a medical as well. hope this helps
hope u hear something soon.
x


----------



## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

Hi ladies! Hope you are all getting somewhere!!
DH phoned Glasgow adoption for the 2nd time 2 weeks ago. A little background - We first enquired in 2008 after my blocked tubes result....anyway to cut a long story short we did try IVF and well it was a complete nightmare!!!...So with much deliberation and tears...we really want to adopt now ... 
Glasgow said they were having a meeting in sep/oct and would send out info. but nothing as yet...Should we phone again-as dont want to annoy them already  . DH seems to think the process takes 8/9 months - I keep correcting him to 2 years - from what I have read on FF. What IS the time scale??

I am aware that the time will let me grieve for what could have been...however I am keen to set on a more positive , constructive path....as I am getting grey hairs!! (38yrs)

I am in East Ayrshire and would be quite happy to meet up some time?? Putting a face to the name and having a proper chat would be helpful - when we are going through the same thing. Or ********?? Let me know what you think... Love noodles xx


----------



## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi Noodles  

I adopted through Glasgow, we had a great experience with them  

We waited 4 weeks for our info pack to arrive, they are incredibly slow but get there eventually! 

I seem to remember they are quite good at sending out info very last minute, so you might not hear from them till about a week before the info night.    They are really helpful on the phone, and really don't mind people phoning them. I'd leave it maybe till next week as things grind to a halt during the summer hols  

Hope it arrives soon  

Bx


----------



## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

Thanks Boggy for the positive message.   I will pass this on to DH! How long did it take you to adopt your family? Looks like 2 years from your info. at the bottom.  Are they siblings? As we were thinking of applying for two.  Sorry about all the questions !! Just trying to move on !!
Noodles xx


----------



## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi Noodles

yes we were two years almost to the day, which is fairly average. When we phoned up to ask for an info pack, the 8-9 month timescale was also mentioned to us but it was very misleading (though the member of staff who said it wasn't even a social worker and was clueless). What they meant was that from application to approval it should be 8-9 months which is in the guidelines for good practice (in england I think it's 6 months).

So what happens is that you phone up, then go to info night, then prep groups, then a home visit from a SW who gives you permission to apply...that is the point the 8-9 months figure comes in.  By then you are likely to be at least 9 months in the process already  

Bit misleading but that's the way it goes  

Yes ours are siblings, we were approved for 2 children then matched with one who had a sibling about to be born and he moved in a year later.  It couldn't have been better.  

Let me know how you get on  

bx


----------



## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

Hi Calmly, How are you getting on? What point are you at? we have our first social worker meeting  on 14th September. She is coming to our house. Hubbie and I are a bit , well really nervous, we are worried we say the wrong thing! What kind of questions do they ask you?? Can I do any preparation? Unfortunately I have a laye meeting at work that that as well!! ....How long does the preliminary meeting last? Does she look round the house? So sorry about all the questions...We just want to make a good impression!!    Thanks Calmly - hopefully this makes sense! xxx


----------



## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

Hiya


We will have had our 2 daughters home 2 years come November.   They r fab.


When we had our initial visit, it was pretty informal. she just asked us a questions on how we had got to the stage of being interested in adopting. i had tidied up like mad but she didnt even use the loo!! hahaha    it really isnt anything to worry about.  i have a diary of how things went 'camlys diary' in the diary section. its very hard to try and remember everything that has happened. 


please feel free to ask anything ur unsure about and hopefully i will be able to help xxxx


----------



## Mummy Noodles! (Mar 31, 2010)

Thanks Calmly !! I will look at your diary. I see it only took a year and a half for you to adopt. That is Brill! Hope things go well for us xx


----------

