# first time ....



## Ber (Mar 12, 2005)

Hi there,
This is my first time ever posting a message on a website and for some reason, I'm actually quite nervous. Not sure why? But then, I'm not sure of a lot of things these days! 
However, I'm desperate to talk to others going through similar stuff and this site has come highly recommended. Just want to know whether I'm normal to not be able to cope with balancing full time work and all this or I'm just cr*p! 
Any help/guidance very much appreciated!


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## freespirit. (Nov 24, 2004)

Hi Ber,
Welcome to FF , sorry to hear of the rough time your having . Your right its extremly difficult to balance infertillity and work , and all the other commitments in your life , rest assured your not c**p , your just in need of some support hun   , are you able to see a counsellor to talk about your feelings ? You'll find lots of support and info on here , you may feel nervous at the moment , but soon you will have made  friends on here , and be addicted  like the rest of us .
Wishing you luck ,
Freespirit x


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## Ber (Mar 12, 2005)

Thanks Freespirit,
Its really good just to know I'm not the only person going through this - not the sort of thing you casually chat about at work or socially! I see what you mean about addiction to the site.....feel I'm already getting addicted!


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

just wanted to say welcome to ff, and you are not c**p , we all struggle with it, which is why ff is so great. 
The support you will find here for each other is fanbloomingtastic .

good luck with everything


suzie aka olive xx


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## Deej (Mar 12, 2005)

Hiya

I'm new to FF too! Also waiting treatment a Nottingham and also trying to balance working full time with infertility! Definately not easy!! Already starting to feel more positive after discovering this site. I live near Newark if you ever want to meet up.

Wishing you luck
Debi x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

and welcome to you too Debi. 
Wishing you loads of  too

love
suzie aka olive xx


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## Lizz (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi ,  I am also new to this site and have found it really invaluable. You are not alone out there!!!!!!!!
I am due to start my treatment for IVF tommorrow and I am feeling very apprehensive about it all. It is hard trying to balance full time work but just remember there are people to talk to when you are feeling down.

Good luck with everything 

Love 
Liz xx


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## Ber (Mar 12, 2005)

Thanks Girls - really good to know you're out there. I'm actually off work now from tomorrow for awhile (signed off) as after seeing a councilor last week, I realized I just wasn't coping and just making myself physically ill with the stress of it all... let alone what was going on inside me (no wonder the treatment isn't working!). In fact, trying desperately not to get myself stressed was actually stressing me more until it all came to ahead when i broke down at work in front of my colleagues!  It takes me an hour and a half to get to the hospital where I'm having treatment, and although I've only had 3 actual IUI's, its actually the 6th cycle I've been through with scans every few days for those first few weeks and then the dreaded 2ww. I just wasn't coping with trying to squeeze a full time job into the 3 days left in the office - let alone all the emotional trauma. After the counseling session, I sat down with DH and we agreed what our priorities were in life which is of course giving this treatment the best possible chance we can. I've now got 3 more IUI's on the NHS to go and we just don't want to look back in 10 years time and wonder, what if i had completely de-stressed and given it the best chance possible My local GP has been a star and it was actually his recommendation to sign me off for awhile. I think its going to feel very strange to be off work (especially as I'm not actually ill as such) as I'm not the sort to have a day off sick ...I was always the one at school who stood up at the end of term cause they'd never missed a day (sad i know!). But i don't really have any other option. I did try to discuss with work to see if i could move into a less stressful role or go part time and I also explored unpaid leave (which at first work said was fine and i just needed to give them as much notice as possible, however, when it actually came to me applying officially for the unpaid leave, they said i couldn't have it and now, even if i give in my notice I'm on 3 months notice which will be too late and, when it comes down to it, i really don't want to chuck in my career at this stage in case all this doesn't work out.They did say they would write me a good reference though!) and there aren't any other suitable roles at the moment. 

So heres to a period of relaxing and a bit of 'me time'. I've even got a session booked in with an acupuncturist. 

Does anyone else know of anyone else who's had time off work for infertility treatment?

Good luck for tomorrow Liz! thinking of you.

luv
Ber


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hi Ber   
just wanted to say hello and welcome you to ff, you are not alone, we all understand here and when you are on a down someone else is always on an up and will help you through, it is a nice feeling when you come to realize that you are not the only person who is not coping too well and that you are not quite ready for the loonie bin   
good luck
Dydie


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## Lizz (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi Ber,

hope you are feeling better today  

Love Liz xx


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## pickles (Feb 8, 2005)

Hello

This site is fab isn't it!  I've only just discovered it too...  Hang on in there, I think everyone has their good days and their bad days but remember that it'll all be worth it in the end - just read the section with all the pregnant girls on it if you want cheering up - it great to read that so many people come through infertility and do conceive in the end.

Fingers crossed for you re your IUI.  I skipped that phase as we have male and female factor infertility so we've gone straight to IVF (self funding - so currently broke!) - starting first cycle next month so I'll let you know what thats like!

 
Pickles


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