# Hearing those words "You're too young".



## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

I just feel like having a little rant at the moment and I'm sure I'm not the only one that is tired of hearing "You are too young", or any other variation of that sentence. 

Infertility is something that affects both men and women of ALL ages... It doesn't hit you at a certain "acceptable" age. 

I am 26 years old (Will be turning 27 in March) and have been TTC for 5 years, this November will make it 6! Words cannot describe how fed up I am of hearing that I am too young to be worrying about fertility. Surely it is better that my DH and I have  identified our infertility issues now before it is too late?
I know that if I was in my 30's, late or early, people may then comment that I'm too old and should have started earlier, so there is really no winning!

As soon as you and your partner feel that you are ready to have children, other people should not have an opinion on the matter and should accept your decisions. 

I am new to this forum and have been browsing a lot of topics, and have seen a lot of comments made to others regarding their age. These comments were in no way said in a malicious form, but I think that sometimes people forget how hurtful it is to assume that others cannot be going through the same thing as them, because they are younger. Surely it should not matter whether you are 26 or 35, if we are all going through the same issues and experiences? 

OK, so that was my mini rant over. I hope I didn't come across as too much of a dragon but I really felt like I had to get that off of my chest!  

Wishing all you ladies and gentlemen of all ages the best of luck!


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

I hear you. I had a doctor tell me I had 'plenty of time' at a first consultation (I was 26) and wanted to say that there's no way of knowing if that's true or not! My tubes were blocked and damaged so it didn't matter how long I waited, they weren't going to get better.

Wishing you lots of luck!


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hey Sarah, 

Thank's for your reply. I know it's crazy that a doctor can possibly tell us that we are too young at 26. Surely they know better than all of us that it is better to identify issues earlier.

Congratulations on your BFP by the way. Wishing you all the best   x


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## KirstyClaridge (Nov 27, 2013)

Hiya, I just want to say what ever you do do not give up fighting. I am 22 and for years I have been to my GP with concern of thinking I may have a problem with fertility and for years they have said I am to young, when now I am finally being seen my world has been turned upside down. I have been told I am infertile and I need both my Fallopian tubes taken out in the next couple of weeks. I am new to this site too so if you ever need a chat please feel free to message me I could do with a chat. Wish you all the best for the future. xx


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi Kirsty,

Thank you for your message and support. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Please don't give up hope either, there are more options for you like IVF. Please let me know if you ever need a chat. 

Wishing you all the best for the next 12 weeks. Please keep us updated on your progress.

Danielle   xx


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## Bexxit (Mar 22, 2013)

Hi
I can totally understand your situation. Mine started back in October 2012- I was 22, I had a 30cm right ovarian cyst which was a torsion. I also had a 10cm cyst on my left ovary. I was rushed in for emergency surgery and was told basically to prepare myself that I may lose both ovaries. 
I ended up having further surgery in June 2013 to remove a cyst on remaining left ovary (grew back to 7.5cm) 
Now 24 years old, going through 1st cycle of IVF (currently doing 450iu of Gonal-F)  to freeze embryos while trying to plan our wedding for April 2015!  
I think what gets me every time I see someone new for a scan or a consultant I always get - "you've had a pretty hard time so young have you not?" Or "not had the best time recently have you" 

I mean how do you respond to that !? 

Thinking of you as I know how you feel


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## C0nfused (Apr 13, 2007)

Yes, the "you are to young" "there is plenty of time" comments are just so frustrating.. and then as soon as they think you are in your thirties it changes to the "do you have children/why not/don't leave it to late" comments!!! Oh to be 29 again lol!


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi Bexxit,

Sorry to hear about your ovaries, it must have been a nightmare but glad you were able to get them sorted.  I feel for you,  I know how crazy it is going through the baby motions whilst trying to plan a wedding. We had to put the baby hopes on hold for a while until we got married in April 2013. 

It's crazy how people that you consider professionals can ask such silly questions. What exactly did they think your response would be to that!

I'm glad that they've put you through for the IVF. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it works out for you!  x


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hey Jen, 

Lol there really is no winning is there. We will always be either "Too young" or "getting on a bit"! 

Just give us a baby already!!! hehe x


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

Hello,

felt like i needed to post in here!
I know exactly what you mean im 23 and going through my first IVF cycle but getting to the point of people taking me seriously as im young, to test us and see what the problem is. Turns out our chances of conceiving naturally are very very very slim preactially impossible my doctor said,
Anyway my doctor now is great he actually said to me thank god you have come whilst your so young because if u have left it longer even icsi might not have worked for you so we need to get you started asap!!

When i told my mum and my DH mum we were going down this route all i heard was your so young u shouldnt worry you have years to do this etc etc and it wasnt untill we got our dreaded news that they actually took it all seriously and glad i didnt listen to them!

xxx


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hey Mrsbp, 

Thank goodness you were able to get treated by the doctor before it was too late. It's crazy that they could have left you without help just because of your age.

I feel your pain with telling the parents. My parents weren't so bad but my DH's mum keep saying that we don't need any help and we should just let it happen naturally .... As if we haven't been trying that for 5 years already!!
I think that unless you have experienced infertility you will never understand how people  suffering with it feel, and that's why we keep hearing everyone's silly opinion! lol

I hope that everything is going well during your 1st cycle! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you  x


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

Thank you 

Ah i no so anoyimg. And my mum said there was no 'trying' when we were younger haha! 
Xxx


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## kmsingh (Jan 29, 2014)

My husband and I have been trying to conceive since we married - I was 19 and he 28.

I knew there was something wrong with me being unable to not only conceive but not being able to stop a monthly cycle after 8 solid months no matter how many second opinions I got.

I was diagnosed with PCOS after finally getting a Doctor that finally said that whatever was going on is not normal and put through referrals for scans and consultants with fertility specialists who then referred me for surgeries to try and fix my tubes (one is severely scarred and healed blocked and the other is in just as bad condition) and IVF has been what we have been going through since I was 21.

I am now 26 and after 5 solid years of trying to go through each stage of medication conception we are finally going through IVF by way of FET.  It has taken 2 years for us to even get to transfer stage.  After a few cancelled rounds for egg collection due to low stimulation or OHSS we finally got to egg collection last year - I spent a bit of time in hospital after collection because of OHSS and had been advised by Fertility Specialist to wait at least 2 months before transfer due to high risk of OHSS during pregnancy.  We had to freeze due to OHSS - 24 were collected, 9 made it to blast and freeze stage (5 days blasts).

We recently transferred our first 5 day blast (single transfer) last week Thursday and have beta this Sunday.

I have been taking Progynova since day 1 (3 times a day) and Pessaries (2 x 100mg 3 times a day) since Day 18 (transfer day).  I took first hpt (FRER) 4dp5dt which was negative and decided to take hpt 5dp5dt (PM) and came up faint positive, was still visible in natural light and didn't have to tilt.  Have been testing since then 2 x a day am & pm and they still positive - I'm terrified they are false and refuse to believe it until beta because it has been a hell of a ride getting to this stage and we haven't had the best of luck with this journey to date.

Apart from my boobs ballooning to 3x their normal size, my body temperature running a lot higher than usual (according to my hubby I'm a thermos, but I don't feel any different), eating a truckload more than what I usually do and more frequently, plus falling asleep within 10 - 15mins of eating dinner I have no other symptoms and I think they're all in my head too because I want it so bad!!


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

Ahh how exciting! 
This is why i wont test early because im scared of the answer! but if u have had a negative and then a positive then it sounds promising to me!   

Im 5dp4dt (was at blastocyst at 4days) and im dying to take a test my husband is more eager than me!

good luck  hope it all works out for you, when is your OTD?

xxxxx


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## kmsingh (Jan 29, 2014)

What's OTD....?  Ovulation Trigger Date.....?  I didn't have one.....


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## kmsingh (Jan 29, 2014)

I am still terrified that its a false positive - making excuses about the positives i.e tests are old, shopping centre doesn't get through pregnancy tests very often which means they are all defective!!

If you can hold out all the power to you!!  I am sending thoughts your way


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## NatW (Aug 12, 2013)

Hi Hopeful,

I just wanted to say I completely empathise with your story. I married my husband when I was 20 and he was 30. We decided to start trying pretty much straight away as he had an undescended testicle, so we thought there was the potential for problems trying to conceive. Well our Drs wouldn't even consider looking into the issue until I was at least 23, and we didn't get referred for our first ICSI until I was 27. I am now 34 and do feel time is starting to run out, but I am still constantly told (and it's always the medical professionals), you're still young, you have plenty of time. Well I've been hearing this for almost 14 years now, I'd quite like the record to be changed!

To be honest our friends and family have always been really good and never mentioned age. It's always been the Drs and consultants!

I wish you the best of luck and to everyone else currently going through this rollercoaster. xx


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

H its Offically test date which the hopsital should have told you, are going for a blood test or have they told you to take a test on a certain day?
Im going for a blood test next wednesday! but im really really eager to test.
But if i get a negative i know il be gutted!! and then il still have to go next wednesday for my blood test to be told its a negative again! lol! and if i get a positive and iv tested to early and my trigger shots still in my system then it will be false so il be gutted again! lol cant win! so im trying to hold out. 
also i dont want to do one and then have to come to work after if its a negative where as i have next wednesday off.

Did you test with your first urine of the day?
xx

Hi NatW
OMG you are very patient i cant believe its been that long! I really feel for you i cant imagine going through all of this for that long! I really hope this cycle is for you and you get ur BFP! Fingers crossed for you!! xx


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## NatW (Aug 12, 2013)

Thank you MrsBP! It has been a ridiculously long journey, but hopefully we're on the final leg


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi kmsingh,

It definitely sounds like a congratulations is in order!! I'm sure it won't be a false positive. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you!! 

Mrsbp, You must be going out of your mind waiting to take the test. Hopefully you get to take it soon and it's a BFP!! 

Hi NatW,
Sorry to hear you have had so much trouble. I really don't think the nhs should get too decide when they start offering treatment out. If a person feels they are ready then that is all that matters. I really hope this is the last leg of your journey and you get your BFP soon!! xx


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## xnatillyx (Feb 3, 2014)

This is one of the worst things about infertility being looked down upon when it is not our fault , i know an 18 year old expecting her second yet because she can have children naturally doctors help and don't judge. I was just shy of turning 19 when we started trying and i felt even more pressure once diagnosed with pcos , time is even less on our side than it is for most women. I am now 21 and sick of the too young or too fat comments when both me and my partner have been trying over 2 years and are in a stable relationship. Plus we will be amazing loving parents which is more important than age or weight. It is my body , doctors don't own it and i will fight dirty to get treatment if i have to. I am lucky to be battling this in 2014 which is a bit of a blessing, there has been huge advances in medicine and infertility is more wider known yet there is still far to go. So far only people battling infertility know what it is like so who are society and doctors to judge.


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

Here here!!! 
Haha.
They anoy me. If anything the younger u are with fertility issues the more seriously u should be taken as its just going to get worse when ur at the 'right' age for them!!

Btw girls i caved in did a test 7days post transfer and it was bfp. 8dpt bfp. 9dpt bfp today!! I just dont no whether its real or its still hcg from trigger shot but that was 15 days ago! Anyway bloods on wednesday so not long and il no for sure! 
Nervous as iv got my hopes up now!! 

Xxx


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hey xnatillyx,

I completely agree with you! It's your body and choice so why should we have to fit within a specific criteria just to get the help we deserve. I hate the way doctors have the ability to make people feel worse when they should be helping them. 
Hopefully 2014 will be the year that you finally get some help  xx


Mrsbp it definitely sounds like positive news!! I haven't had IVF/ICSI before so I'm not sure about the shots. Do they have the ability to give you a false positive?? Here's hoping that you have a real BFP. Hurry up Wednesday so we can all congratulate you!  xx


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

Thanks Hopeful87!  

Yes the Trigger shot you take 36 hours before your e/c is HCG which is what the home pregnancy tests are measuring for to give u a bfp or a bfn.
Some people will start testing after e/c so they know when it turns negative that the trigger shot has gone so if they a bfp its real after that. 
But i didnt as i want going to wait the 2ww but obviously i couldnt!! i think most people say its definetly gone after 5-10 days of having the trigger shot. Im 16 days past now! but i didnt do a test this morning as im going to be good and wait till tomorrow!


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## Susieque44 (Jun 14, 2011)

Hello Ladies

Im a oldie now - but started IVF at 22, l always knew that something wasn't quite right but my doctor refused to test me. So l joined BUPA for a couple of months and then had the tests done privately. I found out at age 21 that l would not get pregnant naturally and started my journey. At the time (13 years ago) we were not able to have NHS treatment so we have spent a number of years having private treatment. 

Wishing all you guys lots of luck on your journeys xxxxx


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## mrsbp (Sep 22, 2013)

Hi Susieque44
I have just read you story time line and i just feel so awful. What a journey you have been through you must be a very very strong person!
I hope your twins are still sticking and wish you good luck with them 

Just shows although we have to be positive it can take a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it WILL happen for all of it eventually just got to find the path that is right for us xxx


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hey Mrsbp and Susieque44,

Sorry I haven't been on the forum for a while but just wanted to say a big congratulations to you both on your BFP's. That is great news and I hope the babies (and yourselves) are all doing well  xx


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## Serena91 (Mar 12, 2014)

Hi,
I have to agree. I'm 22 will be 23 this year. My partner is 31 and we've been trying for over a year. Found out a few months ago that there is an issue with my partners sperm. I'm so sick of everyone saying "you've got plenty of time, you're only young!" It's so frustrating!! My partner is also struggling with these comments as he feels that soon he will be too old to be running around and playing football with the children. We are so desperate for a baby and still trying to come to terms with the news and these responses just kick you even further down! We're still waiting for referrals so don't even have answers yet which I guess also isn't helping!


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## gracie222 (Mar 21, 2014)

Hi everyone, I am new to ff! my names grace I am 25 years old and I found out I was infertile four years ago, I had a laparoscopy to see if my tubes were blocked and they were so I had a second operation to remove both of them and take away some scar tissue. I was so young it was horrible to be told you are infertile at such a young age. I took it really bad and it took at least two years to sink in and accept I would have to go down the ivf route, I asked to go straight on the ivf waiting list and I had the whole "your to young" from friends, doctors, surgeons and it really annoyed me because trying to explain to people that are not in that situation is hopeless sometimes and I wish I could make people understand it doesn't matter about my age im ready for a baby and I will not leave it and then its too late at least I have done everything possible to increase my chance.im just sick of trying to explain myself to people and why I am doing this. In fact the younger you are the better I have looked so many times on the actual nhs ivf websites and it does state DONT leave it to late, the younger the better, I have read so many peoples stories on here and we can all relate to each other in some way or another so it has helped me looking at everyone's stories. Me and my partner got referred for ivf and we had our first appointment last week I was really scared and excited I'm not really a positive sort of person so my partner is really trying to get me in that mind frame I am trying but I have my down days, if anyone can give me some advice on anything as I am only on my first cycle  

x


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi Serena91 and gracie222,

Sorry for the late reply,
Serena I completely agree with your comment about these responses kicking you even further down. Some people think they are helping but end up causing us more upset than anything!! Sometimes I wish I hadn't told anyone.

Welcome to FF Grace, Sorry to hear that you were so young when you found out. It must have been really hard for you, I cant imagine!! How did everything go at your first IVF appointment?

I hope you are both well xx


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## loopylulu888 (Jul 6, 2013)

Im lucky enough to have been started investigation aged 21 and icsi aged 22. My Dr was very understanding, I stay in Scotland but am from n.ireland and when I was unwell and had to travel home due to hyperemisis I attended the hospital over there. They would not accept the fact id had ICSI, kept telling me I probably just had Clomid because I was far too young... When speaking to a few girls that r having ivf now they have been trying upwards of 6/7 years and are still not being offered it. Plus I get 2 shots at it n they only get 1. 

Its a shame that ivf is still like the postcode lottery.. I dunno how id feel if id been made to wait since all ive dreamt of is being a mum!! Hope u girls get treatment soon xx


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Congratulations on the birth of your baby loopylulu!! Hope you are both well x


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## Dramaqueen88 (Jun 30, 2014)

Hi all,

I am relate and have had the exact same response from everyone I've told.

I'm 25 and my partner is 27 and we have been ttc for 3 years. We knew we would have difficulty and was told early into our journey that DP had NOA (something which we thought hence why we pushed for treatment early on) luckily we only had to wait a year before we could join the NHS waiting list as this was a pre-existing problem with my DP. 

Even my DP first SA result my GP tried to say "you are young, keep trying it may happen"   

Every time I hear it I smile and make a point of saying "just because I'm young doesn't mean I have any less of a right to have treatment / children". I find it hard to imagine that in a society where teenage mums are two to a penny that 25 is considered young for fertility treatment. But if this process teaches us anything it is resilience!


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi Dramaqueen88, 

You are so right, this process does teach us to be resilient! People can be so annoying though, I would love to know what age is considered the "right" age to have children?!! 

Hope all is well with you


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## Dramaqueen88 (Jun 30, 2014)

I'm good thanks Hopeful, just broken up for the six weeks holiday. 

Initially I was hoping I would have tax to keep me busy but looking like it will start just before I go back to school so keeping myself busy until then! 

Hope you are ok


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Dramaqueen88, it's so strange but that is exactly the same position as I am in. I was hoping to have treatment during the summer holidays as I work in a school also. Unfortunately because of timing treatment has been pushed back till the 1st week of the new term... such a shame it's not in half term xx


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## LisaKR (May 17, 2014)

Hi all! 

Been a stalker of the forum for about a year but have finally joined. Huzzah!

My IVF team have been the most disgraceful with the "you're too young" attitude. I was once told in the middle of my trans vaginal scan that if I hadn't had such a tenacious oncologist, I'd never have been offered treatment because I was too young and far too overweight. Simply charming from the man with a probe inserted into me.

So saddening that so many of us have been told we're too young. My infertility was due to ovarian cancer (which, when asked outright a year before diagnosis if my symptoms were serious, was told it was likely an untreated STD......the cheek! I am a lady after all!   ) but even friends have told me that I'm young enough not worry about it at a later date and maybe I should just get a dog. Society is simply wonderful, is it not?

We were lucky that my consultant was a pit bull and MADE them treat me (we have 1 frozen embryo in storage) but despite losing 4stone in one year, I'm still 1.8 bmi marks too high for implantation. 

Not to worry though, I'll be on the clinics list for five years so I've plenty of time to enjoy life before 'worrying' about implantation. Which is a direct quote from the head doc at the clinic. Sigh. 

I've taken to telling the hideously large number of well wishers who tell me to get a dog, that they're right. I had completely forgotten that desperation to make a baby could be dissolved by a dog. What a doofus I've been! 

Hope everyone is well!


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## Dramaqueen88 (Jun 30, 2014)

> I've taken to telling the hideously large number of well wishers who tell me to get a dog, that they're right. I had completely forgotten that desperation to make a baby could be dissolved by a dog. What a doofus I've been!


    this made me chuckle!!!

Welcome Lisa x


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## xZoeSx (Jun 30, 2014)

Hi everyone,

Thought I would write on here, as I fall into the 'young' category, at 24. 

I haven't started the process yet, as I am waiting for my first appointment to come through after my referral. It would be nice to talk to others around the same age going through IVF/IVF PGD. I don't have any fertility issues (that I know of) but need to go through IVF PGD due to carrying a genetic disorder.

PGD can take so long, my geneticist told me to plan ahead and work back 2 years! Of course the younger you are the more chance of success. He was lovely, and actually basically told me, the sooner the better!!

However I completely get where you are all coming from, to the point that only close friends know I am beginning the process. I know people will come out with the typical, "but you have so much time"...."you should focus on your career first"....My husband and I want a family, end of! This whole process is hard enough without the added judgments.

So hello!!!! And can't wait for us all to start showing BFP's!!!! Let's hope our 'youth' is on our side! 

Zoe


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi ladies, hope all is well?

Lisa KR - welcome to the forum!! I can't believe your doctor told you you were too young whilst the probe was still inserted!! What a moron!!  . Hope everything is going ok? 

Dramaqueen88 - How are you doing at the moment?

xZoesx - welcome to the forum! I hope you manage to get that 1st appointment soon?! Please keep us updated x


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## Dramaqueen88 (Jun 30, 2014)

Hi hopeful,

I'm doing ok, had my first acupuncture appointment today so feeling a bit more 'zen'  

Counting down the day until our DS arrives, the clinic keep saying end of September but I'm still holding out for August so that we can get the ball rolling before school starts again! 

How is everything with you?


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi dramaqueen88, ah that's good news, how did it go? I'm keeping my fingers crossed that DS turns up in August instead of September 
Everything's good with me thanks, IVF drugs will be arriving tomorrow and then I start taking them on Tuesday. EC will be on the week of the 15th september, so i will need time off work after all. Not too worried at the moment tho   xx


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## Dramaqueen88 (Jun 30, 2014)

It was good, a bit painful when they were put on my ear  

Glad things are moving along with you, fingers crossed all goes well with your TX


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Thank you, hope everything with your's goes well too xx


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## MissKTE (Aug 10, 2014)

Hi everyone! 
I am pretty new to this site so I apologise if I go wrong somewhere lol 
I hate these comments! My GP kept telling me "its true that you should wait till you're 30 you know" I just didnt know what to say! I am 22 and my partner is 34, I have lost both my Mum and Dad over the past 2 years and Me and my partner just want a family of our own.
But the good news is that my Doctor has finally referred us to the CfL in Newcastle for our first Fertility appointment! I am excited but so nervous at the same time!
We havent told any of my extended family yet or his Mum as they can be very judemental


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## Look on the bright side (Jan 11, 2014)

Hi MissKTE,

It's so irritating when doctors say this, surely they should know better, and be a bit more sensitive!!

Glad to hear you've been referred for your first appointment though!! Definitely keep us updated with how it all goes   x


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## Andrealou91 (Aug 24, 2014)

Hiya, im new to this too.

Sorry to hear your being told your too young! That must be so heartbreaking,  anything after 3years of ttc your gp should refer you to thr hospital to find out why. Ask your partner to go to the gp also and keep pushing! I wouldn't settle for it hun. Im only 23 and have waited 4 years, just now been put on the ivf waiting list due to both of us having infertility issues. Keep pushing to be referred or at least to be investigated. Andrea x


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## YasuTora (Sep 13, 2014)

Hi everyone,

I'm new here and this thread caught my eye. I was diagnosed with endometriosis last August (was 22 then, 23 now) and found out my tubes were blocked in November. Most people reacted with the usual "well you don't want kids yet anyway do you?" which especially hurt because we were ttc last April and I miscarried before finding out about endo etc.

My family have been extremely supportive (even my grandparents, which surprised me) and my close friends are supportive even though they don't understand it, but my OH's family either weren't listening when we told them or forgot because they said they didn't know when we saw them the other week. Then went on to tell us we don't want kids now anyway so why were we worried?

I currently have the Mirena coil fitted to help with my endo symptoms and recovery from surgery and we're trying to put as much in place as possible between now and having it removed - savings, stable career etc. I know there's never a 'good' time to start, so we're just doing all we can while we wait.

Does anyone have any tips for dealing with the waiting? I know the 'get a puppy' trick works for some people, but we're in rented accommodation so it's not an option. I was coping quite well up until the last month or two, but it's really getting me down now and I don't want to tell my OH because he's done so much for me up to now... I don't want to put any more pressure on him.

Hope you're all well and fingers crossed for BFPs soon. 

Ami


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## xZoeSx (Jun 30, 2014)

Hi everyone,

Thought I would quickly update. Got my first appointment through...this Thursday!! So it has been about an 8 week wait from receiving my first letter with a registration questionnaire to getting the appointment. Not too bad at all really, although it seems like a lifetime!! 

It will be busy with lots of talks and tests but we are more than ready! My husband is so happy, he hasn't showed much emotion about it until now, I think he didn't want to get too excited with the wait. 

Hi Ami,

Have you started the referral process for ivf on the NHS, or will you be private? All I can say is if you haven't got the wheels in motion for ivf on the NHS, it might be something to start talking about with your GP/specialist. If you have, then I hope you get your appointments through soon.

I hated the wait, and we did actually get a little yorkie puppy who I love to bits, he's my fur-baby. It difficult to pass time, because you think about ti everyday. But try and have days out to look forward to, and keep yourself busy. I know so many people have different waiting times depending on where you live, where you are referred, if you have confirmed infertility etc. The way my geneticist put it to me was, if you want a baby in 2 years, start now...

Good luck to everyone and I hope you are all well and soon with a baby on board.

xx Zoe


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## YasuTora (Sep 13, 2014)

Hi Zoe,

Congratulations on getting your appointments through! My partner is the same - doesn't seem like he's all that bothered by it until I get upset and then he reveals he thinks about it a lot and hasn't said anything.

We're not currently on any lists or anything, it's now down to us to tell the GP when we want to start trying and they'll take the coil out for me. I have confirmed infertility so I've been told we'll go straight on the waiting list when we're ready. If it was down to me we'd be at the GP tomorrow getting the coil out, but my partner is the logical one and realistically we can't get started straight away. Financially we're less than stable and my health is up and down a lot as it is so we're waiting for now. He did concede and say possibly next summer after I explained you don't just get IVF immediately and there's a waiting list, so that's an improvement on "sometime in the next 18-24 months"!

We're going on our first abroad holiday together with my family on Monday and I was the main organiser, which helped a lot with distracting and keeping me occupied, but now that's almost upon us I can just see the endless stretch of nothing planned when we return. I'll be making Christmas presents which will take up some time and I run my own business which keeps me busy a fair amount, but as you said - it's something you think about every day and it's mental distraction I'm looking for.

We're trying to convince our landlord to let us have a house rabbit, but they may want an extra £500 deposit which we couldn't afford so fingers crossed they don't ask for that!

When's your first appointment? I bet you're counting down the days now! 

Ami


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## xZoeSx (Jun 30, 2014)

Hi ladies,

My appointment went well, hubby was very pleased with his sperm sample results!! Over 6 times the average amount at 85 million with 6% 'normal' shape, usually it is 4%.  So glad we don't have any other obstacles to overcome, such a relief. I was a bit worried with my AFC of 15, as I am 24, so thought it would be higher? But our Dr seems positive I will stimulate well.

The down side is we have a 16 week wait for our genetic probes to be made, so it is looking like February until our first cycle will start.

So exciting but scary, I know with PGD I may get no healthy embryos, it is all pot luck...I just need to think positively. 

Hi Ami,

It is good your partner is starting to think about it more imminently. You don't realise a lot of this is a waiting game, and really chances are much higher the younger you are.  

My brother has a house rabbit, very cute hehe!! Definitely keep you busy with your wait.!!

xx Zoe


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## evan80 (Nov 30, 2013)

Hopeful don't listen to what people have to say. Just do what you think is best. I started ttc at the age of 30 and now am 35 and am pregnant with our first child. If I only knew that we would be needing ivf i would have tried sooner. We really want a second child but i want to give my body time to recover before having the second one especially since i have to go through all the drugs again. So personally i think that it is best for you to tackle your fertility issues now cos you never know how long it will take you to get pregnant. Best of luck xxx


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

I hope it's okay to post here.
I was 14 when my thyroid went nuts, 19 when I had radioactive iodine therapy which left me with a permanently underactive thyroid and greater chance of infertility and miscarriages. At 21 after years of horrific and irregular periods diagnosed with PCOS and even less likelyhood of getting pregnant as I didn't ovulate often and eggs were immature. 
I was lucky enough to meet my husband young and married 23. We knew it would be hard for us to conceive so tried from our honeymoon. Four months later I suffered my first m/c and went through hell, finally acknowledging that the doctors were right and this wouldn't be easy. I got comments about being too young all the time. I got so angry! Also a lot of 'advice' saying we should just relax! Well WTF would they know. Eventually I snapped in front of a room full of people and told them that going on holiday would make little difference given I had medical problems and was not just 'uptight' thank you very much! 
Well it shut them up, that's for certain!
The well meaning comments don't stop. They will continue to drive you nuts as they are comments made through ignorance and there are an awful lot of ignorant people out there!
We did do treatment (clomid and 2*IVF) and after another loss we decided to adopt and have a lovely little boy who's now nearly 3 and recently a medical miracle has occurred.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there will always be people out there who feel they have the right to comment upon your lives but unless you are going through it, or have experienced the pain of IF they are never going to know what you are going through. 

I'm a really open person and have tried to inform ignorance when met with it -sometimes it works and people learn or at least realise the pain they cause with words and some, I'm incredibly sad to say, never change and you have to walk away.
I'm now 31 and I still get comments made about being young, especially now I've become a walking cliche (how much I hate the 'I told you so' comments when they are just not true and I hate the way they belittle my son). IF is part of who we all are regardless of what our lives eventually turn out like. 
I hope you all have at least one great friend who loves and supports you -I know without mine I'd probably not be with my husband still and my heart, whilst shattered at times, would not have healed as well as it has.

Love to all suffering -age is meaningless when arms are empty and hearts are breaking.


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