# Advice please?



## hogglebird (Nov 15, 2006)

Hi,

My DH is Catholic and we wish to bring our children up in this faith. I myself was christened CofE but unfortunately I just dont believe in it.  I think there is something, somewhere but I'm embarassed to say that is the extent to my religious belief!   I wish it was more. But my DH does have faith and it is important to him and is something I want to support.

So could somebody recommend to me a book that I could read that would explain to me more about the Catholic faith and what happens during mass, the rituals etc. I feel like a complete fish out of water during the services and I am worried that my lack of involvement/ understanding will have a negative effect on my childrens experience of it?  I am too embarrased to ask our priest.  I am the only one who doesnt go up for communion, so that looks bad enough! My Dh just doesnt get that I feel like this and cant understand how I know so little about it.  The only time I have asked others for help I have been told to go and read the bible! I really dont want to offend but this only makes me feel more isolated from it. I dont expect there to be a dummies guide to religion, bit it there some text that would put it all in 'laymans' terms?

Does anyone have a partner who does not have faith, but supports yours?  How do you manage this?  What would you think of someone like me?  I dont want to not to go as this I believe would de-value it in the eyes of my children eg why is it so important and yet mummy doesnt go... But at the same time I dont want to sit there as a hypocrite and join in all of the rituals etc and not believe.

We are hoping to get our LOs christened this year and I feel I need to sort out my thoughts/ beliefs before we see the priest iykwim?

Any advice would be welcome.

Apologies if I have inadvertantly offended anyone.

Thanks,

Melx


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## ladynecta (Jun 25, 2009)

I know that the shop Wesley Owen specialises in Christian books. I don't know of a particular book, but usually children learn the most about going to church and what it means during there first holy communion, maybe you could look for some books like about that. I know they maybe aimed at children (around 7-12) but this would mean that things should be expained simply and you may be able to use them to answer your own childrens questions when they have them.

A missal may also help you, it is the book that you get in church that has the responses, order of the mass in etc, but if you get your own you may feel more comfortable with it. I was given a short version, that doesn't have the readings in, just the other bits (stand up, sit down, shake hands (peace be with you) etc). You could look at it at home then and become more familiar with the mass so you don't feel so out of your comfort zone.


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## pushoz (Jul 27, 2008)

Hogglebird I totally understand what you are going through.  We married in the CofE church but I had never been confirmed or anything however DH is catholic.  Since our Tx in November he has become very religious going to church at least weekly if not more often.  I do make the effort and go with him but there are bits of the service that everyone says from memory.  I went one week and every time it got to one of the memorised sections the old lady next to me just glared at me as if she was disgusted that I didn't know what to say.

If you find anything specific please let me know because I'd love to read it as well as I feel stupid askign DH loads and loads of questions.

Pushoz


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## MrsMaguire (May 25, 2009)

Hi,

There's some really good books out there, as a starting point 'The Idiots Guide to Catholocism' is really good for beginners. A missal is really good, it depends what kind of format your local church uses. I live between two dioceses, so if I got to mass over the water they have missal books and you have to try and flick pages to follow mass which is really confusing for newbies. If I go down the road, they follow a different way and have sheets printed out with the mass all in order. If you want I can send you some of the sheets I've got as they show you exactly what order everything is in. 

My DH is agnostic but comes to every mass with me, he goes up to receive a blessing every week, as a good catholic girl, I keep 'talking' to him about how he feels about it all as it would be the highlight of my life for him to convert. I'll send you a message. 

If you are you thinking of converting over - every October/November they have the RCIA course in local parishes with participants being received into the church at the Easter Vigil (Sat Mass) 

M x x


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## pushoz (Jul 27, 2008)

I'm glad I've finally managed to find this!  I spoke to my friend a couple of weekends ago and he recommended catholicism for dummies.  He teaches classes for children taking their first holy communion and recommends it to parents etc.

Hope this helps.

Pushoz


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## SerendipitySarah (Jun 21, 2010)

Hi all,

Have you tried the book 'How to Survive Being Married to a Catholic' by Michael Henesy?  I am a Catholic, so haven't read it personally but I've heard that it is good.  

My DH isn't catholic but both of our children have been brought up in the catholic faith.  He has never opposed this, but left me to get on with it so I struggled through the taking small children to church bit alone!  I really admire you ladies who support your other-halves by going to Mass with them, and I'm sure that they appreciate it.  Don't be embarressed by admitting that you don't understand what's going on - you probably have more in common with cradle-catholics than you imagine!  As someone has already mentioned, ask about the RCIA programme in your parish.  You don't have to convert - it's open to anyone who has got questions or wants to find out more about the catholic faith.  Talk to your priest too - he will be delighted!

God bless and good luck.

Sarah.


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## MrsMaguire (May 25, 2009)

I've got a copy of that book if you want it. x


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