# Pregnant but scarily depressed



## Rah (Jun 9, 2006)

I am pregnant through IVF and was expecting twins until at 10wks we found i'd had a missed miscarriage of one baby. I also have an IVF son who will be 2 in Dec.

Since the mmc I have felt completely detached from the pregnancy. We have gone public now but I hate it when people congratulate me because they don't know the grief I'm feeling, they don't know full situation. I feel in denial that I'm even pregnant. I am finding most social situations really hard and can barely drag myself to work. I'm starting to show but even that is making me stressed. I can't be close to my DH and am barely feeling any emotions on any level. What the hell has happened to me?

I'm wondering if I have some kind of pre natal depression? Does this even exist? If so I don't know what to do. Last night me and DH had the most awful confrontation and I felt like I could just leave........this really is not what I want.

Fearful I will self destruct if I don't try do something........just don't know where to start

Sarah


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## emilycaitlin (Mar 7, 2006)

Hi,

I am so sorry for what you have and are going/gone through 

Losing a twin is a really traumatic experience, as many people simply don't understand, they say things like "well, at least you are still pregnant".  It's as though you are expected to not greive the loss of a baby, where as if it been a singleton, you would have had lots of support and care.  You also have the feelings of guilt to go through, guilt for the other baby that you aren't 'happy' to be pregnant with them.  That is then mixed with the guilt of any feelings of happiness at still being pregnant with the other twin, that it looks like you didn't care about the one that you lost.  None of these are true, but it's perfectly normal to feel like this.

I do think that you need further help, and it might be worth looking at the miscarriage association website, and talking to your gp, who may be able to arrange counselling to try to work through these feelings before you deliver.  I'm really glad that you have felt strong enough ask for support, rather than trying to deal with it yourself.

If you don't have any help from your gp, please let me know, and also please please don't hesitate to either pm me or put another question on here if you need anything more, I will be on line every day.

Thinking of you,

hope this has helped a little,

emilycaitlin xx


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## Rah (Jun 9, 2006)

Thankyou so much for your reply. Weirdly I'm a trained counsellor, albeit in addiction. I rang for an appointment with my gp and have confided in my Husband, who will try and fix me, but he understands this is beyond the both of us right now. It feels better just knowing that I'm not losing my mind. People have said 'never mind, at least you are still pregnant'. I find that insane!

Thanks for making yourself available to us ladies, coming to you was what gave me the confidence to seek more help. I just never knew you could get depressed when you are pg, especially when it is so wanted.

xxx Sarah


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## emilycaitlin (Mar 7, 2006)

Hi,

ante natal depression is more common than people realise, and when it's a much wanted baby, I think that makes it even harder to cope with and admit, but you are definiteley not alone 

emilycaitlin xx


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