# Already thinking about number 2



## *Coco* (Apr 9, 2010)

Hello Ladies,

My amazing LO is 8 months old, and although he's still a baby my thoughts are already turning to number 2. I really feel strongly about having a sibling, as much for him as for DH and myself. He has no cousins, nor is ever likely to have, sadly. I am the youngest in my family, and without sounding too morbid, by the time i die, all my family and DH's family are likely to have gone also. The thought of him being alone in the world with no family fills me with such sadness. So I feel i owe it to him as much as ourselves to try our hardest for another one ( can i even dream of another two?)

I'm currently on the pill, which seems crazy to me as there is a huge part of me that doesn't want to take any kind of precaution against getting pregnant. But i know it's unlikely to happen naturally and most likely we'll have to save for another go of IVF. But, once DS goes into nursery in a months time we'll have absolutly no spare cash to save up for it. Can't start saving until he goes to school. By that time i'll be approaching 35 fast, give it a few years to save the money and i'll be past 35. If our next go failed, well, by the time we saved for another go i'd probably be the wrong side of 40.   

On the flip side, if we did go try naturally and i did get pregnant, we'd really struggle financially paying for two kids in nursery, one of us would have to give up work. Which in turn affects our hopes of saving for a mortgage deposit and owning a house one day. Can't win can you?  

I don't know, it would make so much more financial sense to wait a few years before trying again, even naturally, but by that time, like i say i'll be approaching 35 and i know IVF is less likely to work.

I just don't want to wait and look back when I'm 50 with one child and regret not seizing every opportunity to get pregnant naturally, even if it is very unlikely. Because surely, if we were so lucky, we'd find a way to cope. If it came to a choice of having another child and things being tight for a few years or not having one at all, it's not a choice for me really, i'd rather have two children.

So envious of these people who can just space their children as it financially suits them, get pregnant on cue, instead of having to hope that somehow you might get lucky at some point now or in the future because it could be that or nothing at all. 

Is anyone elses hopes of another being marred by finances?


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## Nonny3 (Nov 14, 2011)

Hi Coco
I can totally understand where you're coming from. We've had to pay for all our IVF and it is such a strain but I think so worth it if it does work and you get two children. I've given up work since having our little boy and finances are tough. We are lucky to have our own house but the mortgage is pretty huge considering there is only one of us earning so there's not a lot left at the end of the month. But it's the choice we've taken. We've been though so much to get DS that I just want to take some time out to spend with him. I figure the time when he goes to School will be here before we know it. When that happens I know I can go back to work and things will be easier. I'd rather go with out extras because I have the most wonderful gift in the World. As for your age, I know IVF does get more tricky the older you get, but if you need a positive story, I'm 40 and a half and 9 weeks pregnant with our number two following a frozen cycle! So it can work over 40. Before anyone starts giving me the negative stats, I know it is a low chance, but as I'm proof, it's not impossible.
I'd say, go for it if you can. Looking back and regretting is the worst thing. 
Good luck
Nonny x


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## willow07_123 (May 16, 2009)

Hi have u thought about egg sharing? We r lucky enough to have 2 yr old twins from our first icsi cycle. We r lucky enough to own our own house but have a very big mortage with only my oh working. But we really wud love another so we are going to try egg sharing (max it will cost us is £600 and will b less if have blood tests etc done at gp etc)

xx


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## *Coco* (Apr 9, 2010)

Thank you for your replies

Willow, I have thought about egg sharing, but i honestly don't know how i'd feel if the receiver was successful and i wasn't. That is something i would have to get my head around. Plus one of FSH results was 9.5, (though if i remember rightly it dropped to about 5/6 on the next test), so i don't know if i'd even be eligable to share. Having said that, knowing how complete my LO has made my life, it would be a wonderful thing to help make another couple that happy, if i was able to share.


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## willow07_123 (May 16, 2009)

May be worth looking into even if u decide not to-it's another option at end of the day. I wish u every success in whatever u chooce to do xx


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