# Does depression affect the process?



## Narnea (May 20, 2010)

Hello, we are considering starting the process of adoption but my husband is currently on medication for depression. This has never made him angry or violent, he's just a worrier. I was wondering if this will affect our chances for adopting?
Does he need to be signed off meds before starting the process or doesn't it make any difference? Thank you for your help


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi,

This comes up a lot and whilst it won't be discussed, some have found it becomes more if a focus than others. Some advice is to be off the meds if do able and any counselling to help get better are seen to be positive.

These threads might be worthwhile and you can seekadvice from those who experienced it firsthand.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=316598.msg5685073#msg5685073

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=309857.msg5532817#msg5532817
X


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Hi narnea,
My hubby was on anti-depressants when we started the process and still is now - we were approved in September 2013. He started them because of work worries ( self employed in the building trade) and the pressure of unsuccessfully trying to conceive.  He had been on them before when his first marriage broke down.  For us it wasn't an issue at all.  It was discussed during home study i.e. what the triggers are for him and his symptoms and it really hasn't been an issue at all.  The chair did ask him about it at panel, but that was after he said they were recommending us to be approved!! 
Good luck with your journey


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## Narnea (May 20, 2010)

Thank you, I have just had failed icsi and don't think can start for 6 months so there is time to get him signed off.

Do you think you have to wait 6 months even if you already have a child? I don't need to come to terms with not having my own as I do have 1 from ivf - now 3yrs

My husband sounds very similar to yours Sq9, self employed - works all hours and stressed from years of ivf/icsi. So expensive!


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Narnea said:


> Thank you, I have just had failed icsi and don't think can start for 6 months so there is time to get him signed off.
> 
> Do you think you have to wait 6 months even if you already have a child? I don't need to come to terms with not having my own as I do have 1 from ivf - now 3yrs
> 
> My husband sounds very similar to yours Sq9, self employed - works all hours and stressed from years of ivf/icsi. So expensive!


Unfortunately most agencies will want you to wait at least 6 months before applying. It's not just about coming to terms with not having a birth child, but also grieving the loss.

They don't like people to be in a rush, adoption is all about waiting.


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## Narnea (May 20, 2010)

Humph yes, my whole life seems to be about waiting  . Oh well another six months it is then


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

There's no harm in attending a few open evenings and working out whether you want to go with an LA or VA though - that's what we did. Helps to read a few books too, although get them from your local library to save on costs.

This was our favourite book as it went round everyone in the family http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Expect-When-Youre-Adopting/dp/009192412X

You can find more info and which agencies serve your area on the government's adoption website http://www.first4adoption.org.uk/

Paul x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Narnea, I wasn't on medication, but had had several rounds of counselling for mild to moderate anxiety/depression.    Not seen as a problem.

The thing with the adoption waiting is that it feels different.... with tx you're waiting for maybe it possibly working and you might have a baby.  With adoption, once you're on your way, it feels like waiting for a certainty.    

Now I know the whole ten years we were TTC, really we were waiting to be the parents we needed to be, and for Bug to be ready to come home to us.  And he was worth it.


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