# Finances



## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Hi Ladies,

I know this has probably been asked a million times but just wanted to ask about finances.

Do most authorities as a general rule like you to be debt free with savings before considering you for adoption? I really would like to move forward with adoption but finances are one of the reasons stopping me at the minute. It might sound silly but I don't even want to enquire if it's likely we will be told to go away and come back whe we are debt free, I am scared of more knock backs and would prefer to know I am ready in all ways before starting the ball rolling. Also if I was to take 12mths off from work, what sort of financial outgoings would I need to prepare for when bringing up a child?


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## HannahLou (May 22, 2011)

Hi shining star!

I can only tell you what my SW asked us about finances, she wanted to know about our main outgoings like the mortgage and car, looked at a few bills and asked if we had credit cards, she gave us a website which I can't remember at the minute to help us work out what spare money we had etc oh and also what savings we had and how much we saved per month. So I suppose it depends on exactly what your situation is as to what they decide, you may qualify for a grant once a child is placed to help with costs of buying equipment etc, good luck!! 

H x


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

Hi,

We went with a VA and ours didn't, they just want to see that your incomings are greater than outgoings and that you can afford to take a year off/potentially longer with a child.

Good luck x x x


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## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

I was so worried about my finances. I have about 3k of debt. 
The SW didnt look at the amount of debt I was in. 
We had a discussion about it, and she looked out my income and expendature. 
They just want to know that you can afford a child and that you are not in threat of eviction/ccjs/court etc.

My friends have just been aproved and they have more debt than me. x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

We're actually still in a Debt Management Plan, but I want to stress that we presented this right up front as a potential issue, have a detailed budget we STICK to and a clear plan for repayments.  We were also able to show how we'd manage with those little crises that always come up, and were very, very clear about how we'd never get into debt trouble again, and what we'd learned through that horribleness!  We enquired with a LA before we went with a VA, and with both we sent a letter with our initial enquiry stating our financial position and debt history.  Both were happy to proceed with us, but we ended up going VA.

It depends a lot on how you share it, and the attitude and policy of the Agency you go with.

We always thought we wouldn't be able to adopt because of our debt trouble, so I'm always keen to tell other people who are worried that that's not necessarily so.  That's not to say it's not a big issue, or we take it lightly - far from it.  But it's not necessarily a big no-no.


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

That's great advice. Thanks everyone. You have given me the confidence to go for it when we feel the time is right and the key seems to be about being honest and up front. Instead of waiting 2-3years and trying to pay off our credit card before enquiring, I might start the process sooner, perhaps in 12mths. I just pray it's not a big problem for us because I will take another knock back quite difficult I think.
How do you all plan what finances to allow for the first 12mths being off work?


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## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

Its natural to worry. I worry too. We manage on what we get but we arent rich and debt is there. In fact these days most people have debt you cant avoid it. But as long as you are managing it thats the main thing.

wondered if someone could explain this grant you might be entitled to when you adopt, never heard this before. Where can i read about it ?? 

Good luck x x


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## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

Just had sw meeting and now I'm scared and worried about money. Was made to feel really bad with value on credit cards. Even though we manage it ok. She didn't say anything just stuck her nose up :-(


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Oh No, Sorry to hear that....Did she give you an idea of what was deemed acceptable or is she implying that you have to have no debt?


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## Ipswichbabe (May 17, 2005)

She said we need to start paying more off!


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Hi I’m new to this part of the board.  DH and I are considering adoption and I’m absolutely petrified of rejection.  We went to an information evening back in September and have another with another LA tomorrow then one with VA next week.  We will then take the some time to decide what we want to do, but I’m already convinced we will be rejected because of finances.  DH and I have never been ones to save money.  My dad always says money burns a hole in my pocket and he’s not wrong.  DH and I both work and I have a particularly well paid job, but with our current outgoings we live in the red although we are not massively in debt, but it’s debt nonetheless.  Our outgoings are based on our current childless lifestyle.  If we want something we buy it, we eat out at least once a week and often buy takeaways.  All of which we would obviously cut back on if we were successful in our application.  I suppose what I am wondering is if they actually look at your bank statements or just ask what your incomings/outgoings are?  Do they take into consideration your lifestyle will change?  Would they expect us to change our lifestyle during the process to prove we could do it?

After 2 x failed IVF attempts earlier this year I’m not entirely sure how I will cope if someone tells me that not only can I not have children naturally, but I wouldn’t be a suitable parent anyway   

I have a feeling I am going to need to grow thicker skin during this process.  I am already stressing and I haven’t even decided 100% if we are going down this road!


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

Hi Vetty, That's similar to how I feel. I would rather wait (although it will be very hard) another 2-3yrs to get better financialy than be rejected by the authorities because we have debt. I would rather know before hand. We go overdrawn every month and have debt on credit cards.
Itseems though that everyone has a different experience so I guess we will never now until we ask?!
I know it's hard and I am scared of rejection too.

Let me know what you decide,
Best of Luck.xx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Betty and shining star, your situations seem to really mirror ours. Both dh and I are both lucky to have well paid jobs but we live to our means. Like you we eat out regularly, buy what we want, have credit cards and have never saved. When we decided on adoption, for the first time ever we cut back slightly and have managed to save a little....and I mean a little  

Our sw looked at our out and in goings and our debt. she discussed what aspects of our life we would change, what we would cut back on and so far (everything crossed) this has been sufficient. 

As shining star says - each la/va is different and you never know till you ask.


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## Billybeans (Jun 16, 2012)

The problem I have is that we don't eat out, we don't buy anything other than necessities, like shopping for food and maintenance on the house/car so currently we can't cut back on anything, having said that though I am hoping this will all change in about 8mths time when some of our outgoings like our mortgage will be reduced.
I don't think we are likely to start the process for at least 12mths so I am hoping we have time to sort some of this stuff out, it's just so frustrating emotionally because I am ready mentally to start now. It's been 6mths since my last miscarriage and I'm ready to go ahead but Dh isn't, he is only just beginning to accept that adoption may be an option.
Good things come to those who wait  (I hope)


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## smudgerbabe (Sep 16, 2011)

That fear of rejection is the worst! It almost put me off in the first place.

Shining Star - you will have to show you can afford the extra expenses a child will bring and the time off from earning with adoption leave. I guess it depends on the social worker how much they look into it - I certainly had various statements looked at especially mortgage and bills such as council tax and credit cards etc and all the 'essential' bills. It's surprising what is not 'essential' when you really look at it. Plus don't forget you'll be entitled to child benefit (and poss tax credits depending on your income etc). 

Vetty - it's unlikely you'll be rejected due to finances as you clearly have a lot of disposable income. However they may want to be convinced that you would be changing the 'lifestyle' element when you had a child (they won't 'take it into consideration' - you'll have to convince them). I'm afraid I'm similar to you in spending so before the home study I collected all my receipts on supermarket shopping for several months and worked out what I actually spent (and on what) a bit shocking actually!! Then I spent a month cutting back slightly and without any real effort or lifestyle change I saved £50 a month straight away and knew I could easily save more if I tried.

This was useful and although the social worker didn't look at it long and hard I knew I had it ready and proof that I could easily cut back and divert the money elsewhere if required! You could just work out everything you spend on eating out/takeaways etc and luxuries and you know this would be instantly 'available' money. Plus it would prove that you were willing to change your lifestyle and you knew what was involved etc.

Also if you do start the process I think it would be wise to also start gradually changing the lifestyle straight away (they ask loads of in-depth questions and will ask stuff like how often you go out etc) so it's not such a shock when you're placed with a child! (and eating out will potentially become a thing of the past!!). 

Good luck and please don't let that put you off - you will be fine - honestly! A lot of people enjoy the process and you sound lovely and many social workers are lovely as well (all the ones I've met anyway) but yes - a thick skin would certainly help!


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