# Anyone know anywhere in UK or abroad you can go with your own known donor



## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

I have a UK donor who I met through fertility board who is 23, we havent ever met only talked on teh phone so far and have known each other for about 15 months.  We know each others backgrounds really well and she is wanting to egg share.

Because she knows my story well and that now my only chance is donor eggs or embyros, she really is an angel and wants to help us out big time!!!!!  She has spoken to my clinic and to London CRM (she is based in Kent),my clinic have protocols which say egg share and donation should be anonymous.  they are going to speak with the doctors tomorrow to see what they say and my friend it going to ask London CRM what they feel.  It appears that it may not be possible for us to do this as, and I can understand why, my CRM said children could end up at the same school, they would know each other if we keep in touch, which I believe we would etc etc etc

I have to wait for the answer later this week, however does anybody know of anywhere which would do egg share/donation from a known donor  It could be UK or abroad, preferably here would be great as its a bit closer to home    My only other option would be to abandon this idea and go abroad for egg share, donation or straighty to embryo donation and the waiting list at my clinic is 18 months approx, I would be 47 by then and dont want to leave it that long.

any advice, ideas, suggestions etc etc very welcome!!!!! 


Thanks
Kathy (olgakorbut on other boards, failed my last chance at FET in August)
xxxxx


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## hobbesy (Nov 22, 2006)

Sorry you've not had a reply to this already. I live in Kent too and was a known donor to my friend. We checked out several clinics. Depending n where in Kent you are you have the option of two, the Chaucer in Canterbury or the SEFC in Tunbridge Wells. We found the Chaucer unhelpful with our first queries, they also made it very clear we had to be seen by different doctors on different days, etc, etc (even tho we know each other!) and would just generally have been a logistical nightmare

We went with the SEFC in the end and they couldn't have been more helpful. We were treated very well, I felt very looked after as the donor, and although the first round of treatment wasn't successful, the fet resulted in twins!

The only thing that confuses me is that you say your clinic are concerned because the children could find out. Do you intend on keeping this a secret?  As it stands my friend and I both have young children who are all aware (as much as they can be in some cases) of what went on and are very happy with the situation. I think I'd feel uncomfortable if we kept it quiet, as we are close friends and I feel pretty sure it would have come out at some point, whereas this way its all very natural to everyone. I 'm happy to discuss this with either of you if it helps

Keri  x


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## olgakorbut (Jul 5, 2008)

Hi Keri

Thanks for coming back to me on this, it is really useful, especially with you mentioning the Chaucer, as the donor has been in touch with them only this week about egg share.  She posted on another board under this area asking if anybody else was or had been there!  I will pass on your info to her.  I actually am not in Kent, I  live in the Midlands, it is her that lives there.

My clinic have said they dont do egg share with a known donor as the children could end up at the same school etc, which is highly unlikely isnt it!!!!!  No we would both tell the children I wouldnt want to hide anything from either side and nor would she.

the trouble is when I looked into egg share with a known donor at other clinics the cost goes up considerably, I suppose because I would have to pay for my treatment and hers  So that may be out of the question now.  However she emailed me late last night to say that she would happily just donate only the first time and then egg share back down in Kent/London, that way she could find out how she was with the drugs.  I have to wait for the CRM Coventry to ring me back today/Monday with their decision but can then discuss donation only.

Hope this all makes sense and can I just say what a lovely thing you did for your friend!  She must have been thrilled.  My friend offered up here but she is over 35 and with a 23 year old your % chance goes up considerably.

I will keep you posted on how I get on.

Thanks again
Kathy


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