# Please please do not give up hope after failed ivf cycles



## Never give up

Hi ladies,

I never thought I'd find myself writing a post on here!! I remember the countless number of times when I would trawl through numerous messages just hoping trying to find success stories.

Me and my husband started trying for a baby 3 years after we got married. After about a year of trying I just almost knew that there must be something wrong with me, something was just telling me things weren't right.

So after a year of trying I decided to get myself off to the doctors to get checked out. When my blood tests came back the doctor told me my FSH levels were abnormal and so she wanted to refer me to a fertility doctor. I remember just feeling quite anxious at this stage.

My husband's sperm count came back as normal but I had cysts on my ovaries and a blocked right tube. After a laparoscopy I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I was devastated I knew something was wrong but I just didn't realise it was that bad especially as I'd never had any symptoms of endometriosis. I didn't really feel unwell until we started trying for a baby. 

As soon as I was diagnosed we decided we wanted to have an attempt at Ivf. There was a waiting list at the NHS so we decided we'd fund an attempt because we felt we'd already lost time whilst we had been trying and neither of us were getting any younger and I was told my egg quality would deteriorate with age ( by this time I was 30 and my husband was 31). 

We didn't get a massive amount of eggs after retrieval, 6 or 7 I think, but we got at least 4 good embryos 2 of which were transferred. I don't know why but I think I just expected it to work first time especially as the cycle had been so straight forward. I remember when i started bleeding 2 days before the end of the 2ww. Me and my husband knew that it was over and we'd have to try all over again. We had to attend the clinic for a pregnancy test I felt like it was a waste of a trip because I knew what we were going to hear because by now my bleeding had become very heavy like a period. 

At the clinic we did a pregnancy test and it came as no surprise that it was negative. We booked a consultation with the fertility doctor straight away again just not wanting to waste any time. At the meeting she told us we had had a very good cycle and she was hopeful for our next cycle.

We had been out on the nhs waiting list whilst undergoing the private cycle so a few months after the failed cycle we were ready for our funded cycle. I felt emotionally and physically strong so we decided to crack straight on with our funded cycle. ( our failed cycle ended in the July we started our funded cycle by October.)

I had just started the funded cycle and midway through the worst imaginable thing happened my grandad passed away ( he was more than just my grandad he was a very holy man. I had started my menopur shots so we decided to carry on. With this cycle I was still positive but I just thought as I've already had a failed cycle there is no guarantee. My collection and embryo transfer all happened after the funeral. The same thing as the previous cycle happened I started bleeding a few days before the end of the 2ww. This time we had to do a pregnancy test at home. By November I had another negative test. It was heartbreaking because agin this cycle had been straight forward and we had 2 top quality embryos transferred i just didn't understand what else was going wrong. 

By Christmas I felt really low I'd hit rock bottom I just thought I was never going to get pregnant. I just thought there was something wrong with my womb. The only thing that kept me going was that my grandad told me to never stop praying or believing in God, before he passed away he did so many prayers for me to have a baby. 

By the new year I decided I wanted to look into immune issues so I booked an appointment at care in Nottingham, after the appointment I really wanted to get some tests done but my husband was unsure of the whole thing he just found it all too invasive. He managed to talk me into having another attempt at Ivf before embarking in any immune tests.

I went into this cycle without much hope as far as I was concerned I was just going through the motions for my husbands sake, I was convinced I must have unresolved immune issues.

Again we didn't get a great number of eggs or embryos but as before the resulting embryos were of a good quality and again we had 2 top grade embryos transferred and quite surprisingly this cycle we even had one to freeze.

My 2ww would come to an end over the jubilee weekend so me and my husband decided to do things different this time and we booked along weekend away to Devon.

Lo and behold just like the previous 2cycles I began bleeding days before the end of the 2ww. This cycle was the first time I'd seen my husband deflated by the results because I think this time he really believed it would work.

We went away as planned but this time whilst we were away my bleeding got lighter and didn't last very long, by the time we came home it had stopped. I remember doing the pregnancy test seeing the two lines and not quite believing it was true I had to go into the bedroom to show my husband and he said yes it's positive, but I still wasn't sure.

I went into work and phoned my fertility doctor and she said despite the bleeding I probably was pregnant and that I should call the fertility centre and book a viability scan.  

I remember anxiously waiting for the scan I was convinced there would be no baby. It was surreal when we were told I was finally pregnant. We were discharged from the fertility centre and were to be treated in the community as normal. 

Our 12 week scan was fine I had a little spotting after the scan but it settled ( after much praying). I hadn't told too many people at this stage only our parents really we didn't want to jinx ourselves. By 16-17 weeks I had started showing a little and I felt a bit more confident so I shared the news with my sisters (who all have children of their own)

The 20 week scan showed a healthy happy baby. The day after the 20 week scan I had been at home ( I had decided to work part time). I had a shower set my alarm for the morning ready for work and got into bed. I felt something trickling down below at first I thought it was bleeding I checked and remember saying to my husband 'oh it's just water' 2 seconds later it happened again I got out of bed to change my clothes. All of a sudden I felt a big gush and there was water all over our bedroom floor. My heart sank. My husband called the delivery suite and they told us to come in straight away. 

That night was the worst night of our lives we were told my waters had broken (although I had had my 20 week scan, I was in fact only 19 weeks+5). We were told to expect 1 of 3 outcomes, I'd either go into labour within 72 hours, I'd get an infection (and lose the baby) or if the pregnancy did continue the baby's lungs wouldn't have developed and it wouldn't survive.

I was kept in over night and moved down to the delivery suite in the morning as if I went into labour I would've had to deliver the baby.

72 hours passed and I didn't go into labour I was moved back to the antenatal ward, I had a side room. After a week I was discharged from hospital and was called in for weekly tests to check for infection and to keep on eye on the baby. 

I was at home for 2 months and then I started bleeding I thought I would go into labour. I was re-admitted to hospital as I had a low lying placenta and there was a risk I could have a heavy bleed. I was in hospital for 2months before my baby decided he was ready to come into this world.

My little soldier held on until 35 weeks+5. The day I went into labour I was so scared because I was just so afraid of what would happen. I had a beautiful little boy by c section he weighed 5lbs 2 oz and his lungs were fine!!

He spent a week in the neonatal unit was treated with antibiotics due to the risk of infection, after a week he was transferred to the ward with me. I remember being so scared of taking care of him because of everything we had been through. After 2 weeks we came home.

He is now lying in bed with me and my husband and will be 15 weeks old next week.

At one point we were even told by one of the doctors to terminate the pregnancy, but we just put all of our faith in God and asked him to help us and never stopped believing in God.

So please please don't give up hope I know I did at one point, I just thought I'd never get pregnant, but God is great and dreams do come true xx


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## goldbunny

what a lovely story thanks for sharing x


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## DaisyMaisy

Congratulations. Such a positive story. It brings much hope.


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## snj38

Wow @ never give up! What an amazing story! Its given me some strength! We had our first icsi that resulted in bfn yesterday. Were both devastated.  I have an area of unknown fluid that may/may not be a hydrosalpinx. We see our consultant next week to discuss. I'm feeling really down cos I rekon she will refer me bac to my own hospital for investigations into this before they will allow me another try. Heads everywhere, any advice on how to stay + for the next if the time comes? Xxx congrats on your baby. Wot a miracle


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## Never give up

Gold bunny and daisy maisy I'm so sorry for your losses :-( big hugs and kisses xx

Snj38 my best bit of advice would be that even when you just feel there is no hope left don't give up! Keep praying and keep your faith in God. My husband and parents and siblings were a huge support I couldn't have done it without them. I hope my story can give you some hope that even when you think it's all over God really can make miracles happen.


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## hayles26

Great inspiring story...I am currently 7dp5dt and feel really low and not positive at all. (All the signs that i did have now gone) This is our 3rd try and if it hasn't worked then I really don't know what will happen. I definitely believe you have to have faith that it will happen and never give up...it's just hard at times. God has a plan for everyone and we all need faith! 

Lovely story and soo happy you have your baby!

X


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## barbster

What an inspiring story   Congratulations to you both on your happy ending


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## Never give up

Hayles26 I agree that when it feels like it just never is going to work it is hard to keep positive and keep your chin up and keep going and that is partly why I decided to write this post.

I remember and my husband will vouch for me there were times I was so low I just wanted to give up all together as far as I was concerned a life without children for me was a life not worth living. It took a lot of soul searching and encouragement from my husband for me to pick myself up out of the dark place I'd get myself into and try again, especially when everybody else around me seemed to be getting pregnant just like that and moving on with their lives.

My younger sister was also trying for a baby at the same time as me she got pregnant twice but sadly miscarried twice(but both times she got pregnant obviously I was happy for her, but at the same time I was sad for myself). My sister has also just given birth to a  beautiful boy in April. I have four sisters 3 older 1 younger. My older sisters have 2 children each. Me and my younger sister one each xx


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## Buttercupboo

It's reassuring to hear of a success story. I have just completed my first (failed) ivf cycle and feel pretty desperate. I have blocked tubes and have been told I'll never conceive naturally. Before the cycle I was told that ivf was invented for women with blocked tubes so felt positive about the whole thing. My blood tests indicated I would have around 14 eggs but at the first scan I only had 3 follicles and only 2 eggs retrieved. I was delighted when one was fertilised but 2 days before the test date I started bleeding so heavily I ended up at A&E. I am one of the lucky ones as we're eligible for nhs funding but I'm struggling to see what could be different next time. Has anyone been in this situation with blocked tubes and such a poor response and gone on to have a successful pregnancy?


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## Never give up

Hi buttercupboo I have severe endo my right tube is blocked my FSH is high I never get a massive number of eggs at egg collection but you know what they say it only takes one!!

You should speak to your fertility doctor before your next cycle about what to do different on your next cycle. I was lucky because my doctor was amazing, honestly I think she was like my guardian angel helping me achieve my dream of having a baby.

The first cycle I didn't get many eggs so she upped the menopur dosage which helped me get more eggs the second time round.

On my third and final cycle she kept the same menopur dosage as the second cycle but put me on steriods after embryo transfer to help aid implantation and she also upped my cyclogest dosage from 2 a day to 3 a day.

So you and your partner have some time to yourself after your failed cycle then speak with the doctor about what you can do different or your next cycle.

One thing I would say is always make time for you and your partner after failed attempts. My husband was my rock throughout the whole process of trying for a baby I would have crumbled and given up without him. Good luck I wish you all the best and hope you have your baby very soon xx


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## Buttercupboo

Thanks so much for your words of support. I'll concentrate on enjoying time with my husband before trying again and will explore the options at our follow up meeting x


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## Frangipanii

Congratulations...very pleased for you. I think it is important to remember that ivf isnt the only route to a family and unfortunately it doesnt happy for everyone but it is still possible to live happily ever after. I dont like false hope I am a realist. I am however so pleased for you and your family, it must have been a diffiicult and worrying time but wow what a wonderful result!! 
love to you


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## Buttercupboo

Thank you so much for your support. Yours has certainly been a difficult but truly inspirational journey.  My husband's been really supportive throughout the whole process and with me at every scan. He's taking me away for a long weekend which we're really looking forward to. Our appointment at the fertility clinic came through this morning for 18th June so I'm pleased to have the date in the diary and feel we're continuing on our journey towards our dream of starting a family. I wish you and your family health and happiness x


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