# Do I look younger than I am???



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Normally I would take it as a compliment. At 43 you gotta take those compliments where you can find em   But a couple of things that happened recently have left me dumbfounded. Ok, the first was at my doctor's. I had to have a blood test and the nurse taking the blood asks me (she whispers conspiritorially actually) "Are you trying for a baby?"  What the   Why assume that Then this next one is actually worse, cos it was with my counsellor who I had just told about all my IF difficulties and losses, and she says "Well, there is still hope isn't there?" ....... I'M 43!!!!! 

What is going on??!!!! 

Bernie x


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Hello Bernie

How totally annoying!  You'd think these are just the people who wouldn't say things like that, but there you go.  I honestly find it very hard to guess peoples age (it depends so much on things like sunbathing and smoking for a start and the years 30-50 are the time that thigns like that really seem to have an enormous impact on the skin!) but at the same time I find it really annoying when people say things (usually quite dismissive things) which show they think I'm in my 20s still ... at 35 I feel I deserve people to believe that I know my mind when I voice an opnion not start patronising me with 'well you wouldn't remember but in the 80s' or whatever it is!

I guess it is the case that some people do still have children at your age, and people are tuned in to being considerate of their feelings - after all it is awful when people do that whole 'oh you must be a very proud grandma' thing to a mum, but I know that doesn't help you at all does it?!  

Commisserations adn a big hug

Jx

Jx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Hi Pol! 
How very true. Poor things can never get it right. If they automatically assumed I was 'past it' - I'd probably be cross that too! lol! I suppose it was just that I have been so busy trying to shove all those urges and feelings in a cupboard, leaning on the door to get it closed (!) that I had forgotten that some women do indeed have a family at this age. Often they have the 'tail-end' Charlies, after having a few kids earlier on, they have a 'slip' and get preggers. But these are women who have never had problems. I would find it hard to believe that women who have had trouble conceiving would get pregnant at my age - correct me if I'm wrong. Although I do have to admit that my aunty was 46 when she had her first baby. (I don't know whethere she had tried before because this was a late marriage). She went to the doctor thinking her periods had stopped because of the menopause and he told her she was pregnant! 

Anyway - I hope you are ok and smiling in the spring sunshine! (It's getting very cold over here in NZ and there in no heating in our rented house - apart from electric fan heaters - and we know how great they are)

Bernie xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Hi Bernie

Yes, I think you're right, it's usually people who have already had several or people who had never tried before ... but people so often just don't understand what giving up trying and moving on really means.  I too find this frustrating - especially as it's often people who also have difficulties - and it really does disrupt the moving on process!  I find a bit of righteous indignation and then laughing about it usually gets me through  

Yes, the spring is here at last and we've been having truly wonderful weather for a couple of weeks.  My runner beans are all about a foot tall and about to be planted out (I like to wait until I'm sure there is more than one slug-munch-worth before I let them outdoors otherwise they don't tend to survive in my garden   )

Sound like you need to invest in some electric radiators or something!  Or just a lot of very warm clothes ... I never get over the strangeness of it being a totally different time of year the other side of the world ... I just can't get my head around it!

Jx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

I can't get my head round it either! We have had a warm snap recently - and we went to the beach yesterday in t-shirts! I had just sorted in my head that we were in the equivalent of October in the UK - and that happens. It was so odd - but welcome. I think we get warm spells when there is a north-westerly wind that is carrying warm air from Australia. It only serves to confuse me even more!! (I keep saying to hubby '..in summer...' and he keeps reminding me that summer is a long way off - we have to get through winter first! Oh well - guess I'll get used to it eventually...
Bernie x


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