# multiple ivf failures TTC number 2 - anyone else???



## JuicyQ (Aug 18, 2010)

Hello

Just wondered if there are any others that have been in my situation and what the outcome was?? 

Got pregnant with DD in 1st IVF cycle - couldn't believe how lucky I was then but now think it was a miracle. As we have loved having her so much we would love another and have been TTC again since she was 9 months old.

Have had 1x FET from that cycle (blighted ovum) and 5x BFN from fresh IVF cycles.

I respond well for my age - getting between 11 - 16 eggs and they are always able to put back 2 good quality (usually day 3) embryos. I don't have any lining problems so it appears that they may have ? chromosomal abnormality due to my age. They don't want to risk PGD because I usually only have 2 good day 3 embryos.

Anyway although my consultant will support us in doing more OEIVF I am totally running out of steam and have felt devastated following our recent BFN

Although i am feeling a bit more positive this week (haven't cried yet- woohoo!) I really don't know what to do next.

Has anyone else been in this situation and continued with OEIVF and eventually got a BFP or did you continue to get BFN's. 

Anyone decide enough's enough and move on to using donor eggs and was that a good decision or do you wish you'd given your eggs one last try.

I have so much to be grateful for and I feel guilty having these feelings - why isn't life simple!!!

Would love to hear from someone who's been there and come out the other side

J X


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## 69chick (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi Juicy


I have a friend who conceived her 1st after 3 ICSIs, but it took a whopping 10-15 more txs (I think it may have been even more than that, as many as 17) for her 2nd, and thankfully, shes now a very happy mum of 2 DD.


If you can, keep the faith. Have you thought about any other tests?


chick x


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## Nicola68 (Dec 28, 2005)

Hi Juicy,

I moved onto donor egg as I was having no luck at all getting pregnant with number 2. For me it has been the best decision I have ever made, I truely wish I had made it earlier. My donor egg baby is beautiful and wonderful and my family is now complete. I know it's really hard to move to donor egg and it's a very personal decision. I am happy to discuss this further if you wish to.

Best of luck,

Nicola xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## JuicyQ (Aug 18, 2010)

Thanks so much Chick and Nicola for your replies

Respect to your friend chick 17 treatments - wow. Don't think I've got the stamina for quite that many - the prostap for down reg takes its toll more each time - think DH fears for his life now!!! 

I have asked my consultant for more tests (including immune testing - which as its not evidence based they won't do at my clinic) he really thinks its age related so won't suggest anything more. However perhaps we should consider a consult at another clinic.

Nicola- I am so pleased you have had a good experience with donor eggs - I see you went to Valencia and Reprofit - how did you make your clinic choice. I am waiting for the donor coordinator to come back off holiday so I can have a chat about a shared care program. It is a tricky decision to move on but it gets much easier with each failed cycle.

Thanks to both of you - its really just great to know someone else has been there and is ok now

J X


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## Nicola68 (Dec 28, 2005)

Juicy, I did an enormous amount of research before selecting these 2 clinics. IVI Valencia is an amazing clinic that does alot of cutting edge research, it costs a fortune and to be honest I did not have a good experience. Reprofit is an amazing clinic, very modern and new but the director is well known and respected. They have an excellent reputation and now have a very long waiting list. The experience I had with them was VERY POSITIVE and I would highly recommend them. If you wish I will give you the doctor at this clinic's e-mail address and you can contact him. I also know a very good clinic in Athens. The advantage of going abroad is that you have your own donor, who also tends to be young, many are university students, the donors have no known fertility problems at a fraction of the price to the UK. They go through tests to check their health and to check for any genetic disorders. They are willing to donate as they are paid to do so. The success rates are amazing, about 60% per cycle. I was told by the counsellor I saw at a well known London clinic that going abroad would give me the best chance of success. If you want to go this route I can give you the names of the best clinics I reserached and help you through the whole process, if your thinking of going down this route you might need to put your name on a couple of waiting lists. Once you are happy to move to donor egg your chances of success move to 60%    .

Nicola xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## MillyBoo (Apr 6, 2008)

Hi,

Just to say am in same boat - conceived dd on 3rd round of IVF (fresh, frozen, fresh). Have since had 3 FET's - first +ve but miscarried at 5ish weeks, rest completely -ve and one fresh cycle -ve. I have one frozen blast which was supposed to go back a month ago but got an infected cyst on neck and have had to postpone while that slowly sorts itself out. At the moment am feeling very negative and can't see how it will ever work again. Have been looking in to moving to either Nottingham CARE or ARGC but when look at costs and drugs involved I am put off. Now feeling pressure of age (40 in Feb) and am at a slight loss as to what to do ...

Milly x


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## JuicyQ (Aug 18, 2010)

It is so hard Milly- I don't want a consultant any more I want a crystal ball!!!!! If someone could tell you it would happen on cycle 8 you'd carry on but no one can tell you if or when it might happen and it really wears you down.

We have decided after a weekend away that we're going to have one more go at a fresh ivf cycle whilst we do our research into clinics abroad - with the aim of starting donor egg ivf in January. We always said we'd do 6 fresh cycles and I'm not sure if we'd regret it if we didn't.

Nicola all help with research gratefully received

J xx


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## B3ar (Jul 6, 2005)

Hi J


My DD was conceived on my 3rd go and my current prengnancy is as a result of my 11th tx! I did get pregnant on my 9th tx with twins but sadly lost them. I had decided that this  last tx was the last time I was going to put us through this and my DP was dead against donor so it would have been the end of the road. 


Donor is definitely something I would have done if DP was up for it. We also looked into array CGH at CARE which is where they test the embryos to see if they have normal chromosomes.
Good luck in whatever you decide is the best way for you to go   


xx


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## ready4Family (May 14, 2004)

Wow, read your post and it could have been written by me a couple years ago.  Back in 2003/2004, went through many failed IUIs, but then did our first IVF and had a lovely boy.  Like you, we loved him more than anything but also really wanted another so we returned to our clinic.  Well, we went through 2 FETs (first one chemical pregnancy), 1 IVF and 1 more FET, all BFNs.  My dr was shrugging her shoulders so at that point we had a consultation with another clinic.  Right away, he had all these tests he was goign to do so we switched clinics.

It was a slow process with a year of testing / treatment (and we really weren't any further ahead a year later except possibly knowing more about the reason for the failures).  We did another ivf (so our 5th attempt) and we now have our lovely daughter.  

I will say that the time between our son and daughter was really rough.  It almost broke up our marriage, I was sad all the time and shed so many tears and this last ivf most likely would have been our last so guess we got lucky.  It's a really tough decision how far to go...it takes a financial toll, but more so an emotional one.  But it could be the last attempt that is it.  

I really feel for you.  Have you looked anywhere else for another opinion?  Sometimes just a change in process can make the difference.  have they tested both you and dh?  I wish you all the best and will send prayers that it works out for you.


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## JuicyQ (Aug 18, 2010)

Thanks B3ar and ready4family

I'm so pleased that things eventually turned out well for you both - it certainly gives me hope.

B3ar - I'm not sure I know what array CGH is (is that done at CARE Nottingham) - do they have to take any cells from the embryos My clinic is reluctant to take cells and potentially damage any embryos because although I get a reasonable number of eggs by day 3 I usually only have 2 good embryos and so they have pretty much self selected - they have never wanted to risk them. However it sounds really interesting.

ready4family - cam I ask you which clinic you switched to 

J X


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## ready4Family (May 14, 2004)

Hi JuicyQ, well, I'm actually not in the UK but am in Canada (found this site and its been so helpful and have met many wonderful friends), so don't think the clinic name will help.


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## Kuki2010 (Oct 22, 2009)

Hi Ladies, Hi JuicyQ,

I wrote a long post in here yesterday. Lost it all before I manage to post. Got so p...ed of with it. Left it. Here I am trying again.

I am in very similiar situation as all of you. 

Had my DD in my 1st ICSI in 2007. So very lucky to have her. I really thought we should be able to have second pretty quickly. How wrong I was about that. Just about to go for our 5th treatment in October with my own eggs. I keep asking to my doc and he keep saying nothing has changed we should be able to achieve pregnancy soon. Easily said and done. We are achieving great eggs. And embies.. But result.. Negative. I will do this last treatment this year with my own and next year think about donor eggs. My sister is saying she can give me her eggs. Well not sure if they will be much yonger than mine. She will 38 next year but she never smoked or drinks. So hers will be probably better than mine. She will give it to us but she does not want children to know that she did that. I am not sure. I want children to know.. Not easy all of these.. Not easy at all. Top of all these. Our problem is our sperms and DH do not want us to use any other sperms.. 

We have saved every penny to these treatments. We can do 2 more after these year but not sure how, when and which eggs and sperms.. I really hope this time it works. If we had more money I would try my eggs till we get pregnant again but... I might have to get back to work when Lara goes to school and earn some money for treatments. I have to say I nearly had enough with it all.. And of course still very desperate to have more children but so tired with it all already. Not sure how long for I can keep on trying. 

Wishing you lots of luck. And so greatful this site exists.. 

Love. Kukixx


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## JuicyQ (Aug 18, 2010)

Thanks ready4family - you're right - not sure if I want to come to canada for treatment - now if it was a  holiday it would be a different matter!!!

Kuki - there are are so many difficult decisions to make thats why its so hard. Its so very kind of your sister - although I do appreciate thats not an easy decision either. I have been looking in to treatment abroad - wow its expensive and time consuming (obviously worth it if it works). I am feeling like a bit of a lightweight in comparison to some of these girls - moaning after only 5 failures - need to give myself a little kick in to some positive thinking.

Really wishing you so much luck for October - may be we'll be cycling at the same time - I'll look out for you on cycle buddies - although I'm not if I have a clue how that works

J xx


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## Kuki2010 (Oct 22, 2009)

Hi JuicyQ,

It is never easy.. Lets hope we get lucky next time.. 

I am in November-December cycles already. As my ET will be in november I have decided to be in there.

You just go into cycle bodies and say; Hello ladies, can I join you..That's all. And ended up sharing lots and lots which helps the whole process a bit better. And make lovely friends in some cases for life.. 

Hope to keep in touch with you all in your interesting but difficult journey. 

Wish you all lots of luck but peace with what ever you decide. 

Love. Kukixx


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## Millie M (May 11, 2008)

Dear Juicy,

I just wanted to let you know about our journey as it may offer you some hope. 

We conceived our ds after our 1st IVF when I was 37 (he was born just after my 38th birthday). I breast fed for 6 months and then immediately started trying for number 2 (we didn't want to delay as we were concerned about age issues) using FET as we had 2 frozen blastocysts. Unfortunately 1 didn't make the de-frost and the other resulted in bfn. I really took this hard. I think that I had kidded myself that, after all our years of unsuccessful ttc naturally, we had finally cracked it with our cycle of ivf and the pain of infertility was behind us. This latest failure somehow caught me by surprise and really got me down and I began to feel quite panicky about our chances of having a second child. (My acupuncturist has subsequently told me that she thinks that we started ttc number 2 too soon after me stopping breastfeeding and this may have decreased the likelihood of this FET working. She would have preferred us to wait for 3 months after stopping b/fing but who knows?)

We decided to deal with our disappointment by going hell for leather and fitting in as many ivfs as we could before I turned 40. We had 4x ivf and 3x FET in the space of 13 months (plus a fibroid removal) and finally got our longed for bfp a few weeks after my 40th birthday. I am now 27 weeks pregnant.

Relevant factors may be: our infertility is unexplained, in all but 1 ivf cycle we got to blastocyst stage, we only ever had 1 embryo put back per cycle, our treatment resulted in two biochemical pregnancies and one early miscarriage before this bfp . I had loads of acupuncture (esp electroacupuncture) at Zita West Clinic during each cycle. All our treatment has been at the Lister and my consultant there told me it was 'just a numbers game' and seemed fairly confident that if we stuck at it we would get there eventually. She also advised us against PGD saying that she thought it put the embryo through 'extra stress' - being frozen & defrosted whilst waiting for results from Oxford - without significantly increasing the chances of success. We also knew we would have an amniocentesis no matter what so it wasn't a hard decision for us not to have PGD.

I really empathise with your situation and know only too well how painful and difficult  it can be. For what it's worth, we set a time limit on how long we would keep trying (until I turned 41) and found that helpful. I also found it comforting to read about all the research that's been done that shows there are lots of advantages to being an only child as I felt this took the pressure off me a bit.

I wish you all the very best for the future.

Millie 
x


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