# Gay relationship, struggling with concept of sperm donor..any advice?!?



## cleggy (Aug 4, 2011)

Im in a gay relationship with no children of my own although my partner has four. We have spoken about children but im struggling with the concept of sperm donor. I dont know how to get my head round not having a child with the person I love and to have an anonymous sperm donor. My heart breaks that we can never make a child together and I dont know how to deal with it or if I would be able to do IVF although it would be our only option. It would gut me to never have a child together and I know its different for my partner as they have their own. I feel quite alone with all this so any advice or experience would be most grateful.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

cleggy it must be difficult and I can't really help, but have you considered using your partners eggs and DS- or your eggs in her (I don't know your ages and if this is a possibility), because without either element from you,her or the donor that child wouldn't be there. Good Luck, I would also try and talk to your partner about your feelings if you can.

xx


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## cleggy (Aug 4, 2011)

Thankyou for your reply, im 33 and my partner is 41. It is an option which weve thought of but from what weve been told, that procedure would be quite painful for her. Its very hard as my partner already has children and naturally feels grateful and lucky to have what she has. Ive had opportunities in the past in relationships, Ive saved so Ive had the money to go it alone if need be but thats not my dream. Having a child for me has always been about finding the right person,creating and bringing a life into the world together. Dont know how to come to terms with it not being that way and always having that missing


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## Hales :) (Mar 26, 2010)

Cleggy - We have 2 beautiful sons that are a result of my DP carrying her own eggs with donor sperm - I can honestly say that they wholeheartedly feel like my own children (well, they are just as much my children!) - I worried constantly throughout the pregnancy as to how I would feel, and really, once they were here, it didn't matter at all!

Good luck with your journey x


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