# BFN veterans club (multiple BFNs) part 5



## angelica_wales (Oct 10, 2012)

A new home for the BFN veterans club 

The old thread can be found here:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=289950.0

Please remember that this is a thread for ladies with multiple BFN's. BFP chatter should be kept to a minimum out of respect to the ladies who find themselves here

Happy chatting ladies


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## bethholm (Jan 6, 2009)

May all our hopes and dreams come true.

B xxx


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## MariMar (May 14, 2013)

Hello All,

This sounds like a lovely thread with supportive women on it - just what I need! I'm a repeat BFN-er, under 35 but with a pretty abysmal FSH, AFC and AMH for my age (or in general!). Have had an FSH of 7 or 8.something at my best, and in the cycle after my last failed IVF, it bumped up to 13.something! Horrified, really. You're all inspirations to me, as I know some of you have been through a lot (more IVFs, miscarriages, etc.) than I have, and are here to tell the tale, and even have some happy stories as well.

This question is aimed mostly at Pani, but sort of at everyone... I was on the max dose of Menopur (450) in my last cycle, only stimming, that amount the whole time. Has anyone ever heard of being on the max dose compromising the quality of the eggs? Mine were all slow-developers, so by ET day, I just had a morula and the equivalent of a day 3 embryo as my best options! Pani, I know you talked about natural IVF being good for poor responders/women with DOR - I imagine I would make less eggs than the cycle I just mentioned (I made 11, 8 fertilised, whereas when I did my first cycle, with downregging and next to no stimms, I made 2!), but is the benefit supposed to be that they're less 'tampered with'

Thanks for any advice, and babydust to all


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## angelica_wales (Oct 10, 2012)

Welcome MariMar - sorry you find yourself here. I think I've seen you on the low amh thread too xx

Mild or natural ivf is often recommended for low amh ladies - you're right that a high dose isn't necessarily right for you. I've asked about mild ivf at my clinic but my consultant is happy with my response to max stims (375 max at my clinic) although this time we switched to gonal f first then menopur- I will be asking about mild again at my follow up next week because although I got 9 eggs this time, only 5 fertlised with icsi so I think quality may have been affected (or we could have had a sperm issue...)

Your clinic should customise your treatment to suit you not just automatically put you on the max dose.

I'd ask the question on the low amh cyclers board - the ladies there have lots of experience with lots of different protocols:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=309145.0

Good luck
Angelica
xx


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## pinkpixie (Jul 31, 2009)

Thinking of everyone who finds themselves here xx


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## Parky77 (Jan 15, 2014)

Hi everyone

I have just tested bfn. This is round 12 for us. The hard thing this time was that the whole thing was going so well. Probably my best ever round. So it's really tough to get a bfn. 

After last time I really struggled to get back into the right frame of mind, we had about 6 months off and I loved that time. Each time it feels harder to cope with and harder to find the energy to go through it again. But every time I get to saying enough is enough I think about how I have felt when I have caught (even if it never stays) and how much I want it and so does my chap that I have to keep going. 

But it's tough.


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Parky, your sig history is very similar to mine. It is hell when your BFNs reach double figures, really messes with your head.
Dont give up hope, we got there on #17.


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## K.Notman (Sep 25, 2014)

Hello folks.  I thought I'd just introduce myself on her as I had my first BFN from my first IVF cycle today.  I can't imagine going through this as many times as some of you.  You are amazing!

I have to wait until our review appointment to discuss areas for improvement and thanks to this forum, I have number of questions to ask.
As you can see from the signature, I have no ovaries (just never developed?), OH is generally ok but a bit low on numbers and motility.  With a preference to keep family genes my sister AMAZINGLY has acted as our donor (age 27) but we discovered that her AMH is only 3 so she went on a double dose for simms and she managed to produce 6 eggs.  4 matured enough for ICSI and 2 fertilised.  They were medium quality but no abnormalities to report so both were implanted on 2 day transfer.
The testing was a bit of a mix up as OTD was Fri 17th but the pee-stick the hospital gave me didn't work (no control line) so I quickly went to supermarket and did another.  It was BFN.  When I told hospital, they said that as I didn't use the first urine of the day, I could wait three more days and do another one- so that's what I did today and got the confirmed BFN.  We had spent the weekend coming to terms with the idea but it's still been a tearful day.

Anyway, I'm a very positive person and we have one more NHS cycle to look forward to.  My sister is on holiday in November and then we want to enjoy Christmas so we won't start anything until the new year.  I'd be really interested to hear of people who tried different things in their positive cycles, although that may be better to ask on another board if you guys are having trouble too.
Looking forward to supporting each other through this difficult time.
Love, Kirstie


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## angelica_wales (Oct 10, 2012)

Hi K

Sorry you find yourself here and so sorry for your BFN  

Your sister sounds like a lovely sibling and you sound like an extremely positive person with a great attitude xx

A break will do you good - I had my most recent BFN 2 weeks ago and am going to wait until February - it's nice to get back to "normal" for a while

Good luck with the rest of your journey and keep up the PMA!

Angelica
xx


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## Cordelia (Mar 7, 2005)

Hi ladies

Can I join you.  My recent 4th cycle was our first with donor eggs and I am devastated.  Going to take some time out whilst exploring potential sperm issues before we decide our next steps and have some "us" time and possibly a holiday in February before trying again.

Cordelia xxx


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## angelica_wales (Oct 10, 2012)

You're welcome Cordelia - I wish it was a nicer club to join   you've had a rough time of it and need a break xx

I'm looking forward to the break - I'm feeling more positive because of it

I hope you get some answers and clarity soon

Angelica
xx


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## Tummytime (Feb 2, 2012)

Hi ladies you all sound so lovely! "Hoping somebody can give me their opinion.  I've had successful ivf a few years ago but since trying to conceive our next child ivf had four bfns.  Two were frozen transfers and the last two have been from back to back fresh cycles.  I want to go immediately into another fresh cycle as can't cope waiting around. My successful cycles a fee years ago were using gonal f with great egg quality.  However the last two failed fresh cycles were menepur and can't help thinking that I should be using gonal f next time as it has worked before? ANY advice greatly appreciated.  Four bfns in a row really do suck !!!!!


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## K.Notman (Sep 25, 2014)

Hi Tummytime, so sorry to hear of your failed cycles. The change in your medication would definitely be something I'd discuss at the review meeting if I were you. I can't offer any advice as I've only done the one cycle and am rather clueless!
Do they think your age may have anything to do with reduced egg quality now a few years on? Do you know what quality your embryos were each time? Might your OH have any differences with his sample- can you compare the analysis from each cycle?

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=261901.0
I looked at these questions and am going to ask a lot at my review meeting.

I hope this helps you focus on positive changes for next time. Did you do acupuncture by the way? It really helped me with my lining issues. I read "The Baby Making Bible" by Emma Cannon and it was very useful!
Good luck.
Kirstie.

P.S. I hope everyone else following this thread is ok. I've accepted my loss, enjoyed the 'time out' and thinking positively towards the future.


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## Tummytime (Feb 2, 2012)

Thanku so much for replying. I managed to speak to the Embryologist thus morning who's reassured that me that as it's worked before there is no reason why it shouldn't work again which has made me feel so much better! Am definitely going to ask about using gonal f this time though as it seems to suit me so much better.  My two successful cycles were gonal f so it seems sensible to use it again. What is everyone's opinion on back to back fresh cycles?  I've just finished two in a row and feel fine and my ovaries have always settled back down really well despite 14+ eggs each time?  Massive hugs to everybody else on this thread tooxxxxxxx


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## K.Notman (Sep 25, 2014)

Sorry Tummytime but this is my first time so can't really help you but tour clinic should advise you on what's best for you xxx


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## rory2011 (May 31, 2011)

Just wanted to pop on and say happy new year to everyone. I hope 2015 is a great year filled with bfp's and babies. You guys have helped me so much over the years and in 2014 our dream finally came true xx


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## Izzy680 (Sep 30, 2013)

Hiya, this is a great idea for a thread    Although it sucks to be a part knowing that we've all gone through multiple bfn's.  

We had our most recent bfn in November, we had ICSI this time.  It was our 4th fresh ivf attempt.  We've had one FET too but that resulted in a bfn aswell.  We are financially broken now and just dont know what to do next.  I look forward to chatting with you all about next steps x


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Izzy, this thread saved my sanity  many times over the years. It really sucks getting BFN after BFN, with the desire for a baby as strong as ever but being emotionally and financially drained, and people hinting about giving up as if its that easy to move on.
We finally got lucky on tx 17., but will never forget the journey. 
For us it's a new grief, having to close our journey as I need to have an endometrial ablation, plus we were told it would be far too risky for me to get pregnant again.
Always   that each new year will see dreams fulfilled x


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Can I join? I've just had my 3rd fail, although I've got the chance of trying again with 2 frozen. I'm really finding it hard, it didn't help I was stupid enough to think it had worked this time, everything went how it should, apart from period like pains before and after ET. But even though I tried to stop myself, near the end of the 2ww I kept thinking I saw signs, and almost convinced myself it had worked. Now I'm in a void, I think I'm copying then something reminds me or someone says something and I get upset. There are also times I get angry, at my body mainly but anything or anyone  that I think is at fault. I'm also angry because  I know my period will be coming and because of endometriosis don't want to have it really painful again, which I'm sure it will be. Sorry for going on, but I'm at a low, and need to talk to people who know how I'm feeling. When I've had my period, I'm going to see the counsellor, which hopefully will help.


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Rosie, hop aboard! Sorry about your latest BFN. It's not stupid at all to be convinced that the treatment has worked - after all, that's what wr're all desperate for. I remember being totally gobsmacked when IT got BFN on my first DE cycle cos we were quoted such good odds of it working.
I used to go round with a plastic smile stuck on my face while I was dying inside. Having to be happy when the rest of the world can reproduce at will, forcing yourself to be happy at family gatherings.....it sucks.


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Thanks seemedlike4eva. Yes thats excatly what it seems like so many people can just have babies when ever they want and so easily!  All I've been seeing is babies, in the shops, in the street, on tv, in the paper etc everywhere! 
There was one point in my 2ww, about 2 days before my test I had convinced myself it had worked, and was imagined me telling everyone and shopping for things. I don't know which is worse that or seeing babies everywhere!


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Both natural reactions, and both equally horrible.....and you wonder how the world can reproduce so fast!!!!


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## Lucky Brumbar (Feb 19, 2010)

sL4 ... Sorry to read that you're having to end your journey hun... 
Gutted for you... What happened? 
X


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## seemedlike4eva (Jan 26, 2010)

Hiya Lucky B,
The fact that I've had severe pre-eclampsia twice around 30 weeks onset makes it highly likely that it would happen again, and I was lucky to survive this time, so both docs hete and in Czech said no more. Plus since my periods have come back they ate so heavy thzt I'm soaking thro  DDs nappies I need to have surgery to stop them permanently.  
Hope ur okay, and that some of our babydust will land on these ladies too xxx


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## RUBY123 (Mar 5, 2009)

I like to join as well, it seems like it's the perfect place for me, after ten failed cycles I'm really stuck , feels like I can't just give up yet, and neither move on, I have frozen embryos waiting for me .


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## mrsj12 (May 14, 2012)

Hi guys, 
I hope I can join please? I'm really struggling after our 4th transfer resulted in a BFN. We have had a mmc at 11 weeks on my 2nd FET (we've had 2 fresh ICSI and 2 FET) and I'm really losing hope. I've always just gotten 'back on the horse' so to speak when we've had previous failures but this one is taking a lot longer to get over. I was even really positive after the miscarriage. I'm actually starting to think what if this never happens? I'm sorry to be so negative but this week has been so hard and I know you all know how it feels. 2 of my best and most fabulous friends are pregnant and I just feel terrible for them and me because they try to be sensitive and I try to be excited for them and it just feels so difficult at times. I just need some hope. Something to keep me positive. 

Sorry to be a debbie downer. 

xx


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## rosie71 (Jun 19, 2011)

Not been on fertility friends for a while. Think I needed time to get back to normal, and take my mind of it. 
seemedlike4eva- I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope your ok  

RUBY123 - I know how you feel. I've got 2 frozen left.

mrsj12 - Hi, I also know how you feel too. Although it's taken me ages before I can try again. I've just had BFN everytime, and I might only have one chance left. But I'm scared it's just going to happen again. Alot of the time it is very hard but my sister and bf said to me, try not to look back but look forward. There is I suppose a chance that the next time could be when it works. I've always tried to take things a day at a time. Sorry I've not been much help, but at least you know your not alone


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## Dolphins (Sep 29, 2011)

Hi all,

I got my recent BFN yesterday,   I would've so loved a a "very special 40th birthday present" (it's my 40th tomorrow on the 22nd Feb.), but sadly it wasn't to be.  

It's my 2nd BFN in 3 mths. now, and this was my 5th Cycle.  We have got the one child with our 3rd cycle of ICSI 2 yrs. ago now  (we found out that we were having him on Valentine's Day 2 yrs. ago), and now he is 18.5 mths. old (16 mths. corrected) as he was born 11 wks early, and experienced a very early miscarriage (biochemical pregnancy) during my 1st cycle, my 2nd cycle ended up being a negative.  However, I would so dearly love to experience a term pregnancy even though I love my son to bits.  We have just recently found out that he may have additional needs now, so at the moment it is all happening!  We also nearly lost him "twice", as he wasn't breathing when he was born, but they managed to resuscitate him, but we nearly lost him again on the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) when he stopped breathing.  He spent 9 wks overall on the Unit, and had to go home without him after we had him which was really quite sad, and empty.    However, we was still in shock!

Anyway!  We have got 1 frostie to use from this cycle, and then we may be looking at donor next, as I think this fresh cycle was our last fresh cycle using my own gametes.

Bye for now.

And I am so sorry that we are all on this thread.  Hugs to you all.     And "good luck" in the future.

Speak to you soon.

xxx


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## billabong (Mar 6, 2011)

Hello!
I'm not sure how many of the old timers are still around? Seemed like4ever were you once 'Seems' like 4ever? Also I remember Bethholm?

I was around on this thread soon after it started and remember the ladies then deciding on the new name of BFN Vetrans!

Well thought I'd had a few cycles then! I had my son on my 4th fresh/ 12th TX 
I am now on attempt 19 and 9th fresh!
I'm currently waiting for Wednesday which is my OTD. I had 2x day 3 put back. 
I know it hasn't worked but will get it confirmed on Wednesday. 

I can't believe I've stayed at the same clinic for so long without trying anything different. My clinic don't really do much more than the basics. Me and DH have decided to try at serum. We are going to email tonight. 

Dolphins- Hi, sorry about your results. We have met on the 2ww thread.  

Well good luck everyone and hello to ALL the newbies! Xx


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## Dolphins (Sep 29, 2011)

Hi all  

Well!  We was meant to go out for the day on Sunday for my 40th, but because it was half term still, the place we was going to visit was 'sold out', and then the weather decided to throw it down with rain, then snow, and it was also quite windy too.  Therefore we couldn't think of anywhere else to go, so we went out for a meal in North Yorkshire instead.  However, instead of it being a relaxing meal, our 18 mth. old son decided to throw the BIGGEST tantrum ever! All throughout the meal, and you could see other diners turning around and shaking their heads, like we could do anything to control our son's behaviour!!!!!!! when we covered ALL the basics, fed him, changed  him etc.  What's most confusing is he is normally quite well behaved in public, not a crying baby at all, but "TODAY" of all days, he decided to get really UPSET.  It went on to the point where it was quite embarrasing  , and instead of a relaxing, enjoyable, birthday meal out has a family to help to celebrate my 40th birthday, it was rushed, and embarrasing instead!  

However, I had a creme brulee for dessert, and the staff kindly put a lit candle in it, which I kindly blew out & made a wish, (I WONDER what "I wished for" ladies!!!!!)  

Anyway! We then went back home, where I was yet to open my cards, and my fiance surprised me with some lovely presents!  He had already put a 40th birthday announcement in the local paper for me the day before, but on my birthday he give me a Radley bag, something that I have wanted for ages, accompanied with the matching purse, then I got a 'special engraved case' with a lovely pen inside, which said:  'To mummy, happy 40th birthday from your son Nathan.' xxx.  Then, I got some money, and he had already paid for my hair, nails and brows doing.  A necklace, again from my son, a commerative newspaper from 40 yrs ago, and a paper of the date 40 years later (now), and he paid for my "commitment ring" to be extended, as it no longer fits on my finger, but it is still too tight, which unfortunately I'll have to take back to the jewellers to get adjusted again.  He also surprised me with a cake, that he iced himself, and some 40th helium balloons, and some banners, which were a really lovely surprise, so all in all my fiance did me proud!     

Unfortunately, we were going to watch a movie in the evening in the comfort of our own home, but we were all asleep by 9 p.m. but not before enjoying a glass of bubbly.  Therefore we tried to have a good day, despite all considered!  

However! It soon got to the retest again yesterday (the day after), and I am sorry to say that it is still a   for us.     I am feeling really miserable, disheartened and down now, but "hay! Life goes on doesn't it!" 

Bye for now.

xxx


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## honeyz (Dec 15, 2009)

HI all I dont know if you remember me but I was on here before.
I really do hope you all get ur bfps very soon.     
Soo sorry for all the negatives    I know exactly how it feels.
I have added my success story on over 40s success stories. The reason im mentioning it here is because I have searched and searched for success stories and it might give somone hope  
May 2015 be the year you all get your much awaited bfps


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## honeyz (Dec 15, 2009)

Hi Iv had message asking whats in the green smoothies so here goes,

The green smoothies :-
Get a good blender and add
a handful of romaine lettuce. 
A palm full of baby spinach
A cut up carrot
A cut up apple
A cut up pear
half a ripe avocado
a palm full of kale
2 tbs extra virgin olive oil
a pinch of cinnamon
1tsp manuka honey.
a cup full of cloudy pure apple juice
a big glass and half of water.
blend all and pour in three large glasses and refrigerate 2 and drink one on an empty stomach for breakfast. Drink the other one half hour before lunch and the other last one half hour before dinner. Every day
This seems like a lot of bother but in time it will become a habit and you will miss it if you stop.
Its full of anti oxidants and calms your immune system down.
You a add other fruit or veg  depending on what you have.
i.e a small piece of white cabbage (anti cancerous)
or berries or anything else.

I really pray it helps.
Please feel free to ask any questions.
x


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