# wobbles



## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

Hi. As u can see by my ticker we have been linked to two little girls. However, the past few days I have started having doubts. Not about the match, they are perfect, but, about me. Wat if, and don't wanna upset anyone, but wat if the reason I can't have kids is because I can't be a good mummy. Have felt like this on and off for some time but now can't shake the feeling. 
Our girls are  perfect and we both love already, just don't want to fail them, they deserve to be happy. Dh says its normal to feel like this and be nervous. 
Anyone felt the same. Just can't stop breaking down, just glad have not been at work this past week. 
Thanks for reading
Sweets xx


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## Guest (May 29, 2011)

Big ((hugs))

I think at this stage its normal to have wobbles (and I'll just warn you they will continue after placement too!)

However, the home study was thorough and the SWs would not risk placing children with you unless they were convinced you could do it.  You are the best Mummy for these two little girls and you can do a good job.  

Bop

PS Everything I've read about you on here shows me what a kid and thoughtful person you are - excellent qualities to be the Mum you want to be.


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Oh sweetsx  

Don't worry, it's completely normal and understandable.  It's a difficult time between matching and meeting the children as your mind has lots of time to play tricks on you. You are excited about the future while also stepping into the unknown.

The second you meet your girls your fears will melt away (until like Bop says they come back again!)

The joys of parentood  

bx


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Sweets   

As Bop and Boggy have said, it's completely normal to feel this way, and I totally agree that you also feel like that a little into placement too, so please don't worry   

It took us a good couple of months post placement for things to calm down and for a sense of normality (although a new, different normality) to return.
However much you love them, you initially feel a bit 'shellshocked' for a while when your little one/s move in, so when that day comes and you feel that way, please know that this is completely normal too and in no way a reflection of your abilities to be a parent.
It's a huge life change to adjust to.
We can all identify with how you are feeling, but it does pass I promise   

I want to also say that I totally agree with Bop in that you come across as a really kind and lovely person on here, always interested, thoughtful and caring of others, you will be a wonderful Mummy, so please don't doubt that   

Love Anj x


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## Maccer (Feb 2, 2010)

Hi Sweets,

I can't relate to what you are feeling just yet but I just want to reiterate what all the ladies have said, that you come across as a really caring and compassionate person.  You will be a fantastic Mom, you just need to believe in yourself a bit more.  I know that we will all probably feel like this at some point but just remember you have all the wonderful people on here to help you out if you get stuck or need to talk to someone.  

So please stop worrying and enjoy the peace and quiet, because in a few months you are going to have two wonderful little girls running around your home and keeping you extremely busy.

Lots of love & hugs,

Maccer x


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## libby29 (Dec 27, 2008)

You are going to be fantastic and those little girls will have wonderful life with you. I like to think that the reason i can't have babies isn't because i would be bad at being a mummy but because i will be a great mummy to a child that is already out there and needs us. You've wanted this for so long its only natural to have a little wobble i think even birth parents do (i know my sis did) it means your just human. good luck hunny, not that you'll need it  xxx


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

Thankyou so much, am crying again lol. Your words have really encouraged me, just read them out to dh. Think it just panicked me more now that the girls rooms are done. Eldest one is registered at school so have nothing else to focus on. Thanks again for your replies and understanding. 
Take care. 
Sweets. X


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya sweets    




it is very normal to feel the way you do. it such a big life changing thing but soooooooooooo worth it. i can say that i am a year and a half into being a mummy and every now and again i doubt myself. i think its just a normal thing to feel, as i know my friend who give birth round about the time we got the girls, feels the same.  human nature, i hope   


you will be a fantastic mummy, im sure of it.  


take care of yourself xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## panorama (Feb 7, 2005)

Hey Sweets   

I think wobbles are pretty normal, don't beat yourself up, it is a bit terrifying to think we will finally be parents after all this time. And I think no matter how exciting it is, it is all pretty surreal. I think you are probably just a bit scared, as I am, of perhaps getting rejected by the children. But I have no doubt you will be a fab mummy! Like others have said you seem like a lovely, caring person!    The girls will love you!

All this waiting just does your head in a bit doesn't it? People keep coming up to me and saying how excited we must be etc and we are but it is still a few weeks to go and it doesn't feel real!!     Can't wait for this month to be over now! It is all going to be a bit of a shock when it does happen!   

Good thing I am busy this month really! Willing July to come soon for both of us!!

p xx


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## willswendy (Aug 17, 2004)

Hi Sweets

I know its already been said, but its all part of the process.  I think buiding yourselves up and wanting to be parents for so long, that when it finally starts to look like reality is frightening!

Hang on in there, its normal and im sure you will be fine   

Best wishes   #

Wendy xxx


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## Daizy (Feb 25, 2011)

Hi Sweets,

I can very much empathise with how you’re feeling. I’ve had a few wobbles along the way; in fact I seem to swing from sheer excitement to utter panic! We were at matching panel last Wednesday, for one wee girl of 14 months (who is just utterly perfect). We’ve still to attend the children’s hearing before we can arrange dates to start intro’s, with all the stress (I sometimes feel like I’m tangled in a huge mess of red tape!) we have to endure it’s no wonder we feel emotionally exhausted and doubtful sometimes. 

Our little one’s furniture was delivered last week, when the guy phoned to say he was on his way I had a total panic thinking OMG this is for real. When the van arrived and my hubby was helping the guy unload I burst into tears of sheer joy (one extreme to the other indeed!), thinking jings I never thought I’d see the day we’d be getting baby furniture delivered. We took pictures of the van to go in her story book. 

Good luck with it all, you KNOW you’ll be absolutely fabulous as a Mammy!


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

HI Daizy

Just wanted to say congrats on your match  

Our Children's Panel took place on the last day of intros.  Just as the panel were confirming the change in the supervision order, Cookie climbed from the FC's knee to mine.  It was so symbolic and emtional.  

Bx


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## Mrs Dibbles (Aug 19, 2007)

No need to worry sweets I feel exactly the same. Its good to see that other feel like this too though as I like you was starting to doubt myself. Speaking to other parents, birth parents and adoptive parents it appears that we all feel like this and it is normal. I just try and keep telling myself that!!!!   

All the best Mrs Dibbles


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

Thanku for your replies

Mrs dibbles- hope intros are going well   

Panorama- June seems to be flying by   hope it continues to do so. 
When do you stop work? Have got around four weeks to go now   can't wait

Boggy- that is so sweet, just seems right doesn't it xx

Daizy- its all very surreal isn't it?
Have you started intros yet or got a date?

Well, the wobbles have subsided for the moment. Helps that we now have carpets again   , we were flooded after a burst pipe before christmas and only had the carpets fitted on saturday just gone. The girls rooms are done and ready, just finishing touches to do now. Can not believe we are going to be parents in just over a month or so. Happiness does happen.

Take care 

sweets x x


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## panorama (Feb 7, 2005)

Hey Sweets - glad the wobbles have subsided! How about the nerves now?    Glad everything is getting sorted, we've been doing some redecorating too, and next week will do our little ones room, been too busy till now! We also cannot believe it is only about 4 weeks now, we can't wait!  Gave our sw his welcome book yesterday for her to pass on hopefully after next week when we should get the placement order.
I'm actually not stopping work as I am a self employed photographer but not taking on any more work for now, have 3 weddings to do in August so that should be an interesting month! However my DH is getting 6 months off work fully paid!!! His employer matches adoption leave to their very generous maternity leave and as I am only self employed made no sense for me to claim it, so it works really well. We're very lucky and will give him a good chance to bond.
Looking forward to next week when the placement order is given so I can totally let loose in the shops!   
p xx


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

P- thats fab for both of you isn't it. 
What's the placement order, is that to release child for adoption? 
When's your intros start? Pm if u would rather  
Roll on end of July   xx


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## Daizy (Feb 25, 2011)

sweets x said:


> Daizy- its all very surreal isn't it?
> Have you started intros yet or got a date?


Hey Sweets,

Haven't started intros yet, we have a 'tentative' date of 26th July to start but we're relying on other stuff (SW stuff) being slotted in around that date so I'm prepared for it to change. 
Lots to organise though in the meantime to keep us busy. We have her furniture and cot, and her buggy (we got her a mini jogger in green and grey, it's well smart and it's the easiest buggy imaginable to fold) but still to decorate her room. My hubby is itching to decorate but I don't want the room sitting all ready until a week or so before she comes home. The theme of her room is bunny and ted (from Next) and the stuff is just gorgeous, it'll be lovely to see it all come together. I have all her wee outfits hanging in her wardrobe, and the toys people have bought for her are in there too. My Mum bought her a thumper scented bunny from the Disney shop, I will take it with me for intros and give her it at some point during the week - apparently she loves to stroke her wee face with soft toys when she is falling asleep and this wee bunny has the softest, most stroke-able ears ever lol. My Mum also got her a gorgeous, mega fluffy bath robe from Debenhams, and I've been going into her room and cuddling it every now and again and imagining she's in it lol.

Hope things are going well with you at the mo x


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

Daizy- glad all is going well. The bunny sounds so sweet. We have gone for winnie the pooh for the youngest one and pink pink pink with hearts for the older one. Keep sitting in them trying to imagine them here. I even did all oldest ones jigsaws the other day lol. We meet the oldest on first on 28th July, little one will come after 1-2 months. Not buying push chair yet :-(  she might not need it. Just like you, keeping busy to pass time on xx


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## panorama (Feb 7, 2005)

Sweets - yes release for adoption, was supposed to happen in April but didn't, but should hopefully happen next week!    Intros should start week of 18th July if all goes well. Didn't realise you get them at different times, how old were your two again?
Daizy - good luck too! Can't wait to get shopping next week proper! Have a few bits but from next week we will go crazy!
p xx


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## sweets x (Jul 28, 2008)

P- they are both under four. Not long till u start then. Will want loads of details on wat to expect lol. X


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