# getting closer and so many thoughts



## Ellise810 (Aug 21, 2012)

So I do my first stims injection tonight of my egg share cycle. I'm so excited. Like many couples that have decided to egg share, it took many months of research and soul searching to come to the conclusion that we were going to egg share. I can't stop thinking about the lady / couple out there - my recipient. I am so excited at the thought of being able to help someone else have a child. There is someone out there somewhere that is going to recieve my eggs - weird. When I started thinking about the whole process months and months ago, I couldn't help but feel that I was 'giving my baby away'. I think, because I have a little girl (result of FET) I had it in my head that I was giving her away. But now I have reached the point where I have none of these thoughts. I am a great believer in angels and souls etc and I truely believe that I am helping give a couple the egg to make a body (baby) that the soul of the child they are meant to have can come to life in, if that makes sense? It's the way it was always meant to be - I was born with an egg or 2 that were always destined to be another persons child. I wonder if my recipient is excited or worried? I wonder what she's thinking. Is she happy? Is she having any doubts? I so hope it works for her, probably more so than for me. Of course I hope it works for me but I already have my daughter who is my angel. I want her to have a sibling but I know it's not the end of the day if she doesn't. We have decided that this is our last ever tx - the synarel has effected me badly this time. If it's meant to be then it's meant to be, if it's not then that's fine but I do hope it works for the other lady. Good luck to everyone else doing egg share - donors and recipients.


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## Jeme1ca2345 (Nov 23, 2009)

Such thoughtful words. This journey really is a rollercoaster! 
I understand your feelings and I know that they are completely natural thoughts to have, I also wonder about my recipient too.
As egg sharers we were put on this earth to help others. I really believe that what we put in in this life, we get back.

I wish you all the best, keep the positvity flowing xxx


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## Ellise810 (Aug 21, 2012)

it seems that some of my eggs were never destined to go to another woman 
Had a scan yesterday after 5 days of stimming and I didn't have enough follicles so my egg share cycle has been cancelled. This was strange as I have always had lots of follies - and on average 9 or 10 eggs. What a difference 6 months can make. I'm so sorry for my recipient. I asked if I could carry on but do a full donation instead but the clinic wouldn't let me - they said the HFEA would froun on it - I don't understand why?? What a waste. This was also out last ever tx - out of choice so I now need to accept that DD will be our only child. Am pretty upset about this to be honest.


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## cocobella (May 11, 2012)

So sorry to hear that. You must be so disappointed. What clinic were you at? Might sound like a silly question but did they have you on a high dose of stimms?


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## Ellise810 (Aug 21, 2012)

Hi Cocobella

Yes - they had me start on 300 iu right from the start this time - started lower on my last icsi cycle but had to go up to 300 because they needed a growth boost - ended up getting 10 eggs last time. Can't understand what went wrong this time. I have 3 large follies on my right ovary and 4 tiny ones on my left. I have always got lots of large ones on my left so not sure what's happened. I won't be able to egg share again because of this I expect. I'm at Bourn in Cambridge - they said to phone for a follow up on my next AF but not sure there's much point as we can't afford to self fund. 
Have you had a similar experience?

Thanks for responding btw


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## Ellise810 (Aug 21, 2012)

just seen you're expecting twins from egg share - wow - congratulations - double trouble ha ha. I hope you're feeling well x


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## It-Only-Takes-One (Jul 31, 2012)

So sorry to hear that. I thought you could donate all and get next cycle for free. Was your amh low? X


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## cocobella (May 11, 2012)

Yes double trouble indeed! Feel very lucky! My experience wasn't Similar to yours but just thought another clinic might have a different approach with more luck. Also have heard of a few stories where people have ha a poor response on their first egg share and then better on another go. Have that said you can't try again on another cycle?x


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## Ellise810 (Aug 21, 2012)

Hi Amy - no they don't allow you to donate all then get a free cycle - I think they only offer that if you don't get enough eggs at egg collection. Stupidly, I can't remember what they said my amh was. I will ask at some point. I'm sure it is in the normal range though.

Cocobella - would be lovely to be able to have another go at egg share but I doubt any clinic would accept me now. Had a failed icsi 6 months ago and now a cancelled egg share cycle. I think someone up high has decided I'm not allowed anymore children. Shame, as I'm sure I could get pregnant eventually if we had endless money for endless tx and I had a trouble free pregnancy with DD after FET - I grew her very well if I do say so myself lol


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## bambibaby12 (Oct 29, 2012)

Ellise810 - I am so sorry to hear you wont be able to go for another cycle... it never rains it pours sometimes   what always annoys me is that good people who long for children dont get the help they deserve and then "others" just appear to pop them out left, right and centre and the system allows them to flourish  

cocobella - eeeek twins!!! how are you feeling, i bet you can not believe it!! that would be amazing, all the best for your pregnancy!!  

I really hope egg sharing works for me, like you guys, it took me a while to reach this decision and my mind was made up when i learned that a lady close to me has finally had a BFP after 7 cycles of IVF and she ended up needing a donor. I saw how much the process had hurt her and if one of my lil eggs can give someone their dream than that can only be a good thing. Its so sad to see/hear of so many ladies, (and men), go through this heartbreak xxx


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## cocobella (May 11, 2012)

Ellise, sounds like you have tried lots of avenues but you never know about another clinic, they might have a totally different approach depending on what your AMH is. Can't imagine the disappointment as it takes a lot of thought to go ahead with egg share. You are right about the money thing which must be very frustrating. I hope you have got a few nice things planned to cheer yourself up 

Bambibaby, yes it was a big surprise and I still can't believe it. Need to try and stop worrying a bit although easier said than done. Worst of the sickness phase seems to have passed now although the tiredness is not going anywhere! Good luck with your cycle. Like you said it is an amazing thing to do and great to think you can give someone a chance of a baby.


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