# 11dp5dt



## Babyninja

Dear ladies, 
I my official test date is today, I haven't used the hospital test, and won't until Monday as DH is away and we agreed to do the clinic test together. 

This morning I used a tesco test and a very faint line appeared, yesterday I had a faint but definitely there line from a first response test. ( I had another faint line the day before) 
After I did the test today I wiped and had brown discharge. I am worried - is it AF? 
I also have lower ab heavy feeling and feel a bit sick - like I'm about to come on. 
My doctor originally said that if I bleed don't stop the meds even if I got a positive and bleed. 
As we agreed not to use the clinic test until we are both together I am going to continue taking the meds but worry I'm out really. 
Any thoughts Am I out or still in with a chance? 
Thanks


----------



## Babyninja

So I called the clinic, they got back to me ... The nurse said as I've had a few faint positives with first response and a light line with tescos today, not to worry things are very positive and she would say I'm very likely pregnant. She said that brown discharge and cramping, even at this stage is common and normal, in fact even if it goes a pink not to worry. I said I was worried about the cramping with the discharge as I'd read online this was bad, she said there's a lot going on inside and this was fine. I said I thought it was way to late for a plantation bleed and she said absolutely not. (I guess the plantation bleed is still pushing through a small hole, hence the cramping). She said if it goes to a full blown period then things maybe seen to be different but I should keep taking the meds, relax and look forward to my test on Monday with my dh. She said try and not keep reading online as there's a lot of misinformation and hearsay. My call and my questions were apparantly very common too! I said I don't think I'll be ok until I see a line on their proper test. That I was on the way out, when they called to get some more first response tests as the tesco one was very faint, she laughed and say if you want, but she was sure everything wil be fine on Monday. 
I feel much better, I'm going to get showered wash my hair,  eat, pop to the chemist and chill. 
I also phoned my sister and she said (baring in mind she has had 4children) honestly, you're going to have so many aches pains and stuff, I know it's hard not to panic, but take a few deep breaths and think logically there's a lot of changes going on and the weird twinges, pains and aches will always make you worrying your first one.


Man I'm still nervous! But much more positive.


----------



## Babyninja

Ps I weighed myself as always and I've lost 2lb... When normally on my period I gain 3/4 !! Fingers crossed.


----------



## Natalie1402

Good luck, it all sounds positive!!! I had AF type cramps most of the time for  the first 8 weeks or so. I still get them now at 17 weeks. But no where near as frequently. I was convinced AF was going to start at any moment and my dream would be over, but as the weeks go by I get more used to the aches and pains and various twinges that happen. 

Hope your test on Monday goes well, fingers crossed for you x


----------



## Babyninja

hello Natalie1402, 

Thanks for responding, you are giving me some hope right now.

Well things have changed a bit in 8 hours, I just called the oncall dr because I have had seriously ****ty cramps in my lower abs and small brown/red clots and watery discharge (i know TMI). I have a hot water bottle and pain killers.
I told him I had used my 1st Response today and got a good dark line (not even with 1st monrning urine) he said congratualtions. I then explained what has happened and why I was calling.

I asked 3 specific questions:

1. Is this normal? He said a quater of pregnant women have some kind of bleed during early pregnancy. 
2. Can I miscarry and test postive on a preganancy test? Yes you can.
3. Can you miscarry one of the two embryos I had transferred and this situation occur. Yes, this is also possible. 

RESULT: Tomorrow i will hopefully get my bloods done and then repeated on Tuesday as this is the only way to check, to see if my HCG has doubled in 48 hours. So it's back to waiting!

Hugs 

Babyninja.


----------



## Blondie71

I'm saying congratulations as I'm sure all will be ok  I bled all the way thru on/off btw from before 6 weeks until the birth http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=322494.0 (I've posting this thread link also so that it may help you realise how normal IVF bleeding is) x


----------



## Babyninja

Many thanks Blondie71,

So last night I took pain killers, used a warm hot water bottle nodded off on the sofa watching comedy. I dreamt I woke up in a pool of blood but when I woke up today there was just a small amount of watery brown/red discharge. I peed on another stick -1st response and the line is there, as dark as before but slightly broken. 

I've read the link you sent, much appreciated as it has made me feel calmer. I have accepted what will be will be and am going to quietly paint tomorrow and listen to music until I get my bloods done. I am concentrating on not stressing out. The pain made me feel sick last night so I think that was the main reason I was stressed, besides the blood!

I so want to be a calm sensible mum, but this jolted me up, it's simply the fear of losing it/them. I feel like such a novice, a worrier but hey I've tried for 4 years and never even had a positive line before so I'm forgiving myself until I see a heart beat.

Thanks sooo much for the support, it's particularly hard as DH isn't back till late tonight. 

Xxx big hugs xxx


----------



## Natalie1402

Let us know how you get on! Thinking of you x


----------



## Babyninja

Hi ladies, 

I'm a bit down. Or maybe quite down. I went for my first beta test it was 28: I'm 
12dp5dt - 17dpo. I had to wait 2 hours at the local hospital to see a lovely doctor and get the result. He insisted nothing could be decided until the second test on Tuesday but did say the result was low for 17dpo. I'm grasping a straws now I guess, hoping that perhaps both blasts had implanted and we have lost one. I did a1st response this afternoon and it was the lightest ever, but my friend who was with me said if she had peed on it and wasn't having ivf she just assume she was pregnant. We checked out on line and 28 is a definite low. I found a chart that said 1-3 weeks 10-50. 

The doctor took my history and asked about my symptoms, I explained thread like clots, brown/ grey red blood, and more frequent red watery blood. He still insisted I should relaxed. I'm thinking of taking the next two days off work. As I'm so down, it's horrible waiting. 

I'm going to prepare for the worst and cross all my fingers. I do think though from my pee tests they are getting lighter. My only hope is:

First response pick up from 10-15 (whatevers) in your pee,
If I was 28 on day 12 then 14 on day 10.... So it could be about right. 
Definite straw grabbing but ... Hey ho... You gotta do what you gotta do xxx


----------



## Blondie71

As far as I understand with beta's anything over 25 is pregnant, 28 is fairly low but you could have slow rising hcg or even implanted a bit later hence a lower reading.

I would try a clear blue digital pg test and see how many weeks pops up on it to see if hcg is rising or not x

Fingers x'd


----------



## mamochka

Just dont use the hot bottle on lower tummy!


----------



## Babyninja

So today, my blood flow is bight red. 

I didn't wake up twice in the night to pee.

We did a first response and the meditest hcg given to us from the clinic. Both show a pregnant line and we can't deny the FR is darker than yesterday(pm) and about the same as friday. I have a headache and feel emotionally drained. DH felt strongly I should take at least two days off work, this is when I feel things are unfair he's as sad and worried as me but has to be the strong one. Plus I'd like to be at home together.  
He was mortified he was away during such a traumatic (for us) time. 

In my wiser moments I know nothing is certain until tomorrow. We can't possibly know the outcome. We know today my beta must still be over 20 MUI as that's what the meditest can pick up. I don't know the rate at which hcg goes down after mc. 

We are still hoping both blastocysts had implanted and we've lost only one. 

Yesterday I asked the Dr if I am having a MC how can we establish the cause? He said the NHS wait for THREE before they decide to diagnose. I said, in what must of sounded a pathetic voice, " but I'm 40" 

I'm already cross about the time it took for us to get to this point. After being abroad for six years, returning 2 years ago I found NHS logic fundamentally flawed. 

Firstly at 38 I had to pretty much beg for help. My Dr insisted I, "I looked so young I'll probably fall pregnant easily" this wasn't based on any facts I had just told her we had been trying for 2 years, I had a history of irregular periods, that 6 years before I had 1 in that year but had lost weight, changed my diet and exercised to get that number upto 10. I also mentioned dh had a low Sc ( we didn't know details) Instead of 1) taking a look at the printed test history I had from being away, 2) instead of doing tests on both me and dh at the same time, we were subjected to waiting for months for the test and results. When I was scanned I was told told by the gentleman who was scanning, compared to what he sees every day I was pretty normal, that I should relax and go on holiday as this was probably the best way to get pregnant, I was emotional that day but he spoke as if I was to blame. His flippant comment really irritated me - he had no knowledge of my life past, how long we had been trying, my life style abroad or that babies are still born in war zones which is a pretty stressful place. Like most women who are Ttc I have looked at my options, looked at studies. I know stress can be an issue but the conclusion on many studies is the biological need to reproduce is stronger than a bit of stress. Bare in mind I'm really very lucky, I have a cheerful demeanor, lovely family, great inlaws and enjoy a range if therapeutic hobbies, we aren't stressed about money, we don't over spend or live beyond our means but are happy to be modest, we buy 2nd hand and try to live in an honest and modest way. Infertility is stressful, but in the great scheme of things I am aware of people with much more serious issues they have to deal with.  Like most people we try and appreciate what we have and we don't hunger for material wealth. I guess we are pretty contented. I put myself through uni, I worked and paid back my debt, we save and aren't frivolous. During our time abroad I worked 12 hours 22 weeks a year and was the most relaxed i have ever been. My diet was healthy, my hobbies were full-filling and our relationship blossomed. Yet we still didn't fall. I never once even peed on a stick! So I'm pretty sure looking young and not being relaxed won't help me get pregnant. 

After we got my normal result- which I already knew. Dh was then tested. The appointment took months. When he finally did it he carefully followed the instructions to the letter and arrived with his sample held to his body to maintain the correct temp as per instructions. He placed his pot in the correct place,informed the technician, nipped to the loo and on his return, the pot was still in the tray. Feeling that no one was taking his pot seriously, leaving it in full view, he watched and waited another 10-15 minutes and no one took it. That night we considered the logic of, exact time slots and strict treatment instructions for him and his pot, and lack of urgency at the hospital. 
When we received the results, at the doctors, she said it was borderline and not to worry as if he was to do it again now, it would probably be fine. We both found this ridiculous. 
Although, I had been pushing my DR for IVF it took my DH to insist I was nearly 40 and push her about what she was going to do next before the doctor would make us an appointment with the nhs ivf clinic. Another month goes by and we are faced with the a different doctor, looking at our tests saying we can try clomid. That dh's sperm was a bit low. They want to do another test on DH, to check and so we again wait. The test for DH is at the same place, again he does it at home, straps it to his body and after handing it in he waits and watches. No one picks it up. Eventually, he has to leave for work. This time we are told the result is worse. He has lots but they don't move about much. We are told to try clomid after a laparscopy.  It's now a year and a half since I first went to the doctor and said we need IVF. The ops takes more time to come through. I go in at 6.30, I go under at 13.30. No problems are discovered but am in pain for two weeks. Finally, we see the actual specialist instead of her underlings. She tells us dh's results aren't great. My results are ok. That we can try clomid while we process application / recommendation for IVF privately. I'm too old for ivf in Buckinghamshire. Cut off is 36. I say but DH is 32. This is irrelevant apparantly. So the man is younger, the man has the issue but we can't get free help because I am over 36.    So we start clomid. My periods start being 24days. We are on for 3 months when we have to return. We see a different dr again. She says, "we can make you ovulate as often as we like but if the sperm aren't moving you won't get pregnant".    So now They tell us this now It's his mobility. I comment this is a shock. The doctor says you were told by your own doctor according to her letter! I say we were told he was borderline, that if he did it again it would probably be fine. She shows me the letter. Omg. It's there.

So the process for private IVF begins. We continue clomide as we might get lucky meanwhile and no one says to stop. It takes about 6 weeks for the recommendation, to be sent. In our first meeting we meet a great doctor. He needs another test from DH. He asks our history. Whenever my next period starts I can begin... Oh you have just finished clomide... Nope you have to wait 6-8 weeks for it to be out of your system. ARGH!  

Now here I am. 2 years later. 1x ICSI. Never having a positive pregnancy my whole life and after reading and reading. In the end all I can do is cross my fingers.


----------



## Babyninja

PS 

1) I can't use a clear blue digital to test as they wouldn't pick up till over 50miu xx
2) asked doctor if hot water bottle was ok. He said fine as not boiling, just warm.


----------



## Blondie71

If you're pregnant clear blue digital will pick it up by now


----------



## Babyninja

Clear blue picks up hcg at over 50 and as I'm now 90% sure my hcg is going down I think it will be about 10-15 tomorrow. 
The clinic called me again today and they said, normally they wouldn't give a blood test, they'd give another urine test and if it was a CP or MC eventually no line would appear. 
She was honest and explained there wasn't much chance of anything but an MC. My hcg is too low, all my symptoms are of an MC. So we decided  to wait until tomorrow afternoon and not do anymore pee tests. 

In short there is little chance after bleeding and cramping so heavily for 3 days and having hcg at 28 that it will double by tomorrow.

We have spent the evening on the sofa watching outer favourite shows. We are both so sad, but are stronger now we have honest news. 
We have some hope too. We could fall naturally between now and if that doesn't work, in Jan2015 we will defrost our two snow embryos.  
The nurse suggested a medicated FET because of my cycle history. We will have a debrief about this unsuccessful attempt in a couple of weeks, and talk of the future.

Will write again tomorrow.


----------



## Blondie71

I'm really sorry to hear this  I hope you guys are ok and taking care of each other tonight very unfair   x


----------



## mandalay

I am so sorry for what's happened to you in the past, Babyninja.  The NHS are absolutely crap for encouragement or investigation to help you get pregnant.  They are fine once you have succeeded.  If you can possibly do it, use private clinics for everything before then.  I wasted a lot of time and had to find everything out for myself.
You have a loving husband who wants this as much as you do and I am sure that you will have your baby or babies very soon.
There are plenty of stories on FF about ladies who bleed and go on to have healthy pregnancies so don't give up.
There are also many people who believe that ladies experience a second super fertile stage in their lives naturally in their early forties.  Kind of like Mother Nature's last hurrah!  And you are just at the start of this!!  
Keep believing.  The only thing I can do is   and say that I am thinking about you.


----------



## Babyninja

Well, we went to the hospital and my hcg is 21. The doctor examined me and said that from what she can see and from the two results I have miscarried. 
The next process is simply to go home and wait two weeks for confirmation of a negative pregnancy test.

I'm heartbroken. I knew what was coming but I'm still so sad. 
I know very well how much heartache others have been through, I read and watched peoples hopes and dreams get raised and taken away from them, over and over. I feel guilty to feel so low as I had hardly got pregnant. 

Will write more when I feel better.
Many thanks for the support of the last few days xx
I'm at the 4 year mark, one ICSI and now a CP/mc.
I am my own story, I hope it has a happy ending, eventually.

Xx xxx xxx


----------

