# Zero fertilisation,funding changed,donor sperm advised



## littlecat83 (Nov 7, 2013)

Hi ladies

After 19 months of building up to this cycle we found out yesterday that we didn't e even get to the et stage. We are both devastated. During stims the clinic had me on too low a dose and even though I had 13 follicles I only produced 4 eggs, 3 of which were mature enough to use. 

My operation was on Monday and we got the call yesterday to tell us that none of them had fertilised. The embryologist said my eggs looked nice but the sperm wasn't great. She said the ones she injected had abnormally shaped heads which we were confused about as our friend who works at the clinic (who has unfortunately been on holiday during the cycle) said that the morphology was the only thing going for his samples. 

The call was awful. Just that it didn't work and it was probably but not definitely the sperm. No idea when our follow up appointment is. 

Spoke to our friend on the phone whilst she was on holiday and she warned us that the contract has changed on the NHS. We are entitled to one more cycle but she said she isn't sure if we will still be on the old contract or new. The new contract says if the first is unsuccessful with OH sperm, the second cycle has to be with donor sperm. What the hell?? We only had three eggs. Surely that's not enough to completely write us off and to bit have the chance of trying with both our eggs and sperm. 

OH is devastated. Can't bear seeing him like this. I just feel really empty and hollow. Really really sad that we might never have a child who is both of ours, frightened I might not have the chance to get pregnant and carry a child. Unsure on donor sperm and worried that adoption really isn't for me. 

I have no idea what to do or which way to turn. The clinic are suggesting that as this cycle didn't work, future cycles won't either. 

Anyone had 0 fertilisation with their OH sperm and been told its not likely that it'll ever work and to move on to donor sperm and decided to try again with OH sperm and gone on to be successful?

Thank you xxx


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm really sorry honey  

It's still really soon and I think the best thing to do is to wait until you have your follow up: call the clinic and book your appointment when you feel ready. Try not to get upset about what may be the case when you don't know for sure.

A BFN is hard, but I can't even begin to imagine how much harder it is to not get to ET. It's very early days honey, be kind to yourself and look after each other.

You should be entitled to some counselling through the clinic so maybe it's something you can look into whilst you go through the grieving process    

Sending you loads of love honey xxx


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## hilly35 (Feb 14, 2012)

Littlecat, I don't know if it's any use to you but it might be worth you investigating the use of calcium ionophore. I had 3 cycles of zero fert, my last cycle I did split donor (all fertilised) but used this chemical on my dh sperm and we hit 3 embryos, 2 were good enough to transfer and I am currently (touch wood) 10 weeks pregnant. However I must caution that my dh sperm was not showing any issues so I don't know whether this would work if thee was a sperm issue. It's worth you investigating or at least having a conversation with your consultant. Let me know if you need any info xx 

Ps I know how devastating failed fertilisation is so huge hugs xxxxxx


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## littlecat83 (Nov 7, 2013)

Thank you for your kind message. Only just feel able to come back on the boards again but everyone has been lovely. We're waiting for an appointment now and we'll see what happens xxx


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## evan80 (Nov 30, 2013)

Littlecat83 I am so sorry for what you are going through.  We were told that Dh has NOA and there was no way he could ever have a biological child.  So we were told that our only option was to conceive with donor sperm.  We were totally against it initially but after a lot of discussion and counselling we decided that it was important for both of us to have kids so we decided to go for the donor sperm option as adoption is not really for us.  

I wasn't sure as to how DH would react when I got pregnant to be honest even though he had agreed to having treatment with donor sperm in the first place.  I had one failed ivf cycle last year and had my first fet in March 2014 and I am now 25 weeks pregnant.  DH is over the moon and so looking forward to having this baby.  I am so relieved that he has no doubts that we took the best decision when we decided to go for donor sperm.  

If you feel that you should have another go with your OH's sperm then just go for it.  The important thing is that you never have any regrets in all of this.  Just take your time to get over this difficult period and then just try to find the strength to move on.

Best of luck


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