# will we be refused nhs funding as dh has a 14 year old son?



## LinLou (Jun 28, 2009)

Hi
i am posting on behalf of my sister who has been ttc with dh for 2 years and now needs to move on to fertility treatment.  The thing is her dh has a 14 year old son from a previous relationship and they cant afford to self fund - my question is if the nhs wont fund fertility treatment because of dh's son what would happen if they just don't mention he has a son? How will they know? / ever find out?


----------



## Ticky (Feb 21, 2012)

Hiya

I think it depends on the area they live in and their criteria. Your sisters husband will be on a database as a named father if he's on the birth certificate and as far as I know they do check.


----------



## LinLou (Jun 28, 2009)

Thank you ticky for replying - isn't it a s*it system where u r struck off if u have a child from a previous relationship! We spent £50k on fertility treatment as u can see from my profile but luckily we had equity in our house - others aren't as fortunate! X


----------



## Ticky (Feb 21, 2012)

I was rejected for the same reason, my husband is named on a birth certificate. It sucks and it's unfair but I doubt it'll change soon. If only we were all 16, drunk and looking for a council house, we'd fall pregnant then eh x


----------



## LinLou (Jun 28, 2009)

I know! And the government have no problem funding all these out of work benefit seeking scroungers who bang out baby after baby and then the goverment hands out money left right and centre to fund them!!! Grrr


----------



## Bubbles12 (Aug 29, 2012)

For us, we were refused funding because OH has had a vasectomy, not because he has 3 children already, which is even more frustrating!! If he had not have had the vasectomy, we would had been granted funding!

How old is your sister? Has she considered egg sharing? She may fit the criteria providing she is under 35 xxxx


----------



## LinLou (Jun 28, 2009)

Hi that is unbelievable!!! Yes she is going to egg share as i have in the past so i advised that if she cant get funding that is the route to go down as she is only 30


----------



## jules40:)x (Jun 15, 2011)

It does actually depend on area so it is worth checking. I had children when I met my current dh and we we're ligule for funding as he had no children unfortunately by the time we were referred and had our first appointment I was above the age limit of 39!! Def worth checking though that was Warwickshire 4 years ago xx


----------



## In sha Allah (Nov 15, 2013)

Hi I'm new 
I'm on first round of icsi day 5 of burselin I have already conceived naturally in my first marriage 
Even though I have children before I can still feel that desperate ness to have a child with my current husband as we have been TTC for 5 years 
My youngest is now 15 years old 
We have hD to pay for treatment as I have children already 
Good luck all


----------



## michelleobrien2012 (Jan 20, 2013)

Its a rubbish system, I have a DS from a previous relationship, my now DH has very low sperm count and we have been refused funding point blank. I've even asked if I can appeal but no!! 
You get all these people that abuse their bodies and get funding for various ops at the click of a finger....really infuriates me.
I cant even egg share as my brother has type 1 diabetes...........
Any-hoo good luck with everything, We are just at the start of the long journey   xx


----------



## LinLou (Jun 28, 2009)

Thanks everybody - it sure is a rubbish system!!


----------



## Dandanxx (Jan 15, 2011)

My dp already has 2 children. My pct only refuses funding if you already have children together.
I never did tell them, tbh I can't even remember being asked the question! Maybe they never did?! but they never checked anyway.
Check their pct, they usually have the criteria online.
x


----------



## podling (Dec 11, 2013)

Hello Linlou,
It really is a postcode lottery with the funding! I have a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship but my lovely lovely husband has no children and is desperate to be a dad.  We live in Somerset and luckily it is a county which is very generous with its funding for such things. We have been awarded 2 rounds on the NHS and are thrilled to bits! So very grateful. We are having our treatment in Dorset which is literally just a few miles away from us but if we lived there we wouldn't receive funding as I already have a child and also I am too old (will be 36 this year) Crazy. Apparently that is changing soon to open up to a larger age range.  Anyway I can imagine how frustrating it must feel for your sister, we are desperate for a child together and I am already so anxious about the outcome of our treatment (due to start io April/may time. It is crazy that there is such a difference with the funding criteria, I don't see why couples should be penalized if one has a child already. Surely it would be fairer to offer anyone without children one free cycle instead of some getting two and some getting none at all. 
I hope she everything goes well for her 
x


----------



## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Good luck with this.  Like others say, it really is a postcode lottery.

We were refused help (including initially for my own fertility test  ) because we had a double whammy of DH having children with an ex girlfriend and had a vasectomy.  On top of that, our area has an age limit of 34-35!

I'd say we live in one of the most unhelpful & unsympathetic areas possible!  Other regions sound amazing though xx


----------

