# New - IVF ICIS



## ejw

Hello .. this is my first time on this site, so please bear with me!!

I am also still getting used to all the technical words!!!!!

So, we had our meeting with our consultant today who told us that the best option available to us is IVF ICIS.  

Husband has 98% defective sperm ... I can't remember the exact details of it all.

The way my cycle falls I have to start "sniffing" on 22 February 2006.

I am scared, excited, feel sick, nervous! 

I would love someone to chat to who knows what I am thinking and going through.

Any help/advice/stories would be great.


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## Cloud9

hello EJW

we are in a very similar situation - DH 98% defromed sperm and lowish motility. Stress over the last 5 years is the main culprit we think.  i am 41 DH 40 and we have one 5 year old tcc since last March.  We have our 1st appointment at The Lister mid March.

i have good days and very low days already and the process has not really even started.  i have also booked an appointment with Zeta West for advice see her web site www.zetawest.com.  

My main concern is the effect the drugs will have long term on my body and nasal passages.  Not sure i am  any good at self - injecting either!!

Where are you going fpor your treatment?  and whoi have you decied to tell.  I don't really want the whole of the twon and school to know but wiull have to enlkist the help of a few so feel it would only be fiatr to tell them - but it makes me feel quite vulneravble and under pressure the thought of eveyone ewaiting for the outcome.

Hope to speak to you soon and when will you be staring the fist attempt?  Did they not want to have a monitioring cycle?  it is all just time whizzing past isn'y it!!

  Cloud9 ( not sure why I have that as my name must have been on a good day when I registered and now I cannot seem to be able to change it.


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## Cloud9

Following my last message Whoops I am 40 and DH 41 actually if anyone is actually interested.  i shlould have proof read it before i posted!!!!! 


Cloud9


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## ejw

Hello Cloud 9

At the moment we are under BUPA Roding .. but he has referred us to the Bridge Hospital, London.

Other than close friends we haven't told anyone!  We are mentally preparing ourselves to tell our parents.  I am dreading that.

The time is flying by .. we had our first appointment in Janaury 2006 where we both got tested and stuff like that .. and now we are getting ready for our first attempt at IVF ICIS.

I'm still feeling a bit strange .. trying to get my head around it .. if you know what I mean.

We are both 31 .. 32 this year .. and have been trying for 15 months ... since we got married really.

I have so many questions that i want to ask our consultant .. but I never seem to remember them until we have left!!

I asked about side effects from the sniffing and he said like a mini menopause!  hot flushes and things! Not to sure about that .. and the injections he said cramps.

I am having good and bad days too.  Before our appointment this morning I locked myself in the toilet and cried!!  

Keeping everything crossed for everyone who is going through this as well xxx


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## Jappa

Bless you ejw for locking yourself in the loo and crying.  This infertility malarkey is such an emotional rollercoaster and takes so much out of you.  To reassure you I am on day 7 of d/r with the Suprecur nasal spray and am feeling really well so don't get too hung up on the side effects as I haven't had many really.  Just a bit of a headache that's all.  Goodluck in your icsi treatment.

Jappa xx


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## Cloud9

Hello EJW

It is pretty scarry but there is a lot of info on the web which is very helpful and may answer a number of your questions.

I have to lose a bit of weight so that that cannot be thrown at me as a problem.  So have enlisted a personal trainer three times and week     , with me doing 30-40 mins aerobic per day.  So far lost nearly a stone in 5 weeks.

A good friend of mine had her third very easliy conceived baby 2.5 weeks ago and I found that all pretty difficult.  He is sooooo lovely    but my friend does not know about our situation yet.

I have told my parents and although supportive at first, I think they were a little in shock, and now they are quite fearful and do not agree with me going ahead.  They do not want to be seen to being in any way supportive in case it "all goes horribly wrong" ( their words).  I need positive comments etc around me at the moment not fears that plug into my own.  It Is not that I do not have concerns, it is that we have decided to take the risk.  It was only up to last Dec.  that I quite openly said that I could never and would ever go through IVF/ ICSI ( I did not even know what ICSI was at that time!!  steep recent learning curve) - however, everything is veiwed quite differently when given the stark reality.

I am a little worried about how I will wind down my life etc to have enough rest at the relevant times.  I am trying to as of now so that I am in the best state possible for the treatment but as I work from home and have a 5 year old , it will be hard.  

I have become a little bit of a recluse at the moment - I just want to deal with it
on my own in oneway but will also need support from others.

Anyway I have rambled.   It is not really that long to you start sniffing I hope it goes well.  Hope to speak to you again . It was very exciting that you replied, as I have not had  one before.

It is nice to have this outlet for comments fears etc - thank you to you all.

Cloud9


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## ejw

Thanks for your replies Jappa and Cloud 9.

I'm pleased your sniffing is going well Jappa with no side effects.  

I got the phonecall today to say that my drugs will be delivered on Monday!!!  I begin on 22 February .. and I am hoping to have no horrible side effects.

Jappa how long is the sniffing for?  I can't remember what our consultant said.  Are you scared about the injections?  I am .. really not looking forward to that part at all.

A massive well done to you Cloud 9 for losing so much weight in such a short period of time! That is brilliant. 

I totally understand how you feel about your friend.  My sister is expecting her first in April .. and my best friend has just had her first scan for her second baby.

We told both sets of parents yesterday .. they were a bit shocked but seemed to handle it pretty well!  I think they feel guilty that they cannot afford to help us pay for it ... but we told them not to be so silly.

I am scared .... especailly when I think we didn't have our first appointment till 13 Jan .. and so much has gone on since then!  

Trying not to get too excited though ....

Good luck jappa with your nasal!  Let me know how your injections go.


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## Cloud9

Hello - it was great to get your message.  It is nice to hear from you as a new person to all of this, as those that have been through cycles already seem to be less worried about it all.  I suppose part of it is the fear of the unknown.

Things have and are moving very fast for you  - do you know what it is that determies whether you need to do a monitoring cycle.  How long does d/r ( is that correct) take ?  Do you suppress for one cycle and then start it all up again in the following cycle  time.  I have a 5 week cycle but will my body be forced into a 4 week cycle? I have it in my mind that we will have our appointment mid March do a monitoring cycle then things will start off after that but from what you say it could be sooner.  I am not sure I am ready for it all yet - but when will i be ?  i feel as if i am in training for a big test.

I am glad your parents seem to be OK about it - that will make it a bit easier.

I supppse we have to remember why we are doing it all.

Hear from you soon.  

Cloud9 ( I hope to be on.....)


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## Fran (Eva04)

EJW
Hi there. It really is Ok once you get on the bandwagon. And that's coming from me who had a terribly long stimming phase as i didn't respond at all well to the drugs - I ended up on the highest dose and it lasted for 15 days. It's amazing how you cope and adjust. My DH had 100% abnormal sperm on his first two tests on the NHS but the clinic managed to find 13% normal on the day! 
Good luck  
Ex


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## ejw

Hello again Cloud 9

I'm rubbish at all these technial terms .. so I will explain what we have been doing the best way I can!!!  

We had our first appointment on Friday 13 January 2006 (scary date!!!).  I have a 31 day cycle and on the day of my appointment I was on day 6.  He was very pleased with that as he said I could pretty much go and have some test done there and then - some of the tests have to be carried out on certain dates of your cycle.

So, within two weeks I had had blood test done and the scan (where they look inside to see if you are producing eggs) and my husband had had this sperm test done.

We then found out that the sperm was the problem .. but I still had the xray done just to make sure that my tubes were no blocked.

Husband done a second sperm test with pretty much same results as first ... and this brings us to today really.

Saw consultant again on Wednesday 15th Feb who asked what date of my cycle I was on .. I told him and he worked out that I could begin sniffing on 22nd of this month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think the sniffing to stop hormones (but I could be wrong) and the injections are to get the eggs growing and hopefully get 10 of them.

I'm sure if you are regular and you know roughly how long your cycle is it shouldn't take long for them to get you going .. but again I am no expert .. I am just about getting my head around it!!!!

I feel the same as you though .. I know I want a baby (and that is why I am doing this) .. but god its scary.  I didn't expect things to move as quickly as they did .. and althoug we have been trying for 15months .. it now seems more real.

I am so scared about the whole thing .. especially if it doesn't work as I know that we couldn't afford to do it again!  We can't really afford it now .. but a very good friend of ours as offered to loan us the money.

If you want Cloud 9 you can email me directly .. I don't know how it works on this site though !!

Eva04 .. thanks for your reply.  That is brilliant news that they found 13% ... we have gone from 100% to 98% .. and we thought that was good!!!!!!!!

Good luck ..   and heres to good


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## smilingpenguin

Greetings everyone, am a new person here too, just waiting after two tiny's were transferred during first ICSI cycle (for lazy tadpoles) Love that swimmer symbol by the way! Just wanted to say hello to everyone.

SP


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## ejw

Hello!  



I only discoverd this website a few days ago and already I am feeling better about it all!  

I am sure I will have my moments .. but right now I feel ok (although I did cry in the loos at BUPA yesterday)


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## smilingpenguin

crying in the loo is my speciality     I like to think it makes us human...


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## ejw




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## Panda

Hi ejw

Im also relatively new to this site and new to ICSI.  DH had a vasectomy 14 years ago and we aren't prepared to waste money trying to reverse it when the chances of it working are probably less than 10%.  

DH told me right from the start that he had had a vasectomy so I always knew that it was going to be a struggle but that doesn't make it any easier. 

We have our first appointment at Holly House on 16 March but have already had blood tests for hormone levels (all fine) and on Wednesday HIV, Hep B & C tests (awaiting results).  I am so excited by it all I feel sick but, also feel quite isolated and have gone from being really outgoing and bubbly at work to keeping myself to myself - obviously the girls I sit with will know what's going on as I will be in and out of the office when we start (hopefully in June when DH gets his bonus) but I'm not telling other people as its really none of their business and I don't want everyone expecting things to happen and, God forbid, it doesn't having to come back to work and explain.  

It also helps that my best mate is a Midwife so she's full of useful information.  

If you went to BUPA Roding I would say we live relatively near to each other.  Feel free to PM me at any time and good luck with everything


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## Cloud9

Hello EJW

How are you today? I was OK then i had a bit of a wobble around 10.30 pm and now seem more together. i am trying to find ways to sneak veg. and vits into DH meals without him knowing - as he is not too keen on them!?! its a bit like getting a dog to have their tablets! 

My reiki practitioner says it is *very* important that you do things that make *you * happy (ie you in your own self not just as a couple) - make the most of it i say - there has got to be some up side to this process.

Have a relaxing weekend.


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## ejw

Hello .. sorry I didn't reply sooner!

I can only come on to this site at work!!!!!

I feel as if I am having a really bad day today.

Feel very confused by the amount of drugs that were delivered yesterday.

I went and had a blood test today, HIV and Hep test.  

I feel very tearful .. I just want to cry.

Panda - we probably are near one another.  Is Holly House at Buckhurst Hill?  Know what you mean about work .. I had to tell my boss the other day .. just so he is aware of the reasons that I am taking so much time off.  He was ok about it .. said he understood.

Hope you are all doing well


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## dazzled

Hello!

I am also new to ICSI and have my first appointment in March. It is not too far away and I am worried about the effect that the drugs have on your body both short and long term. I am the type of person who hates to even take a paracetamol so the thought of taking all these drugs and _interfering_ with my body really scares me.


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## Cloud9

Welcome Dazzled

I have not been posting for very long -its sooooooo time consuming.

I worry greatly and like you do not really use any tablets etc.

I am trying to maximise the outcome for the first attempt - prolonged use would be very scarry( spelling?)

i am alsi going to talk to my homeopath about how to cl;ear the toiximns frommthe body as I thinj=k that coukld havbe an impact for r=further goes.

I am worried about the nasal sprays as I believe all nasal sprays thin the nasal cavities.  I am prone to having a blocked sinus at the slightest thing and wonder if it will set it off or indeed being blocked affect the sprays effectiveness.

EJW  I have replied to your perssnal meesage I hope you received it.  

i could really do with some chocolate today!!!!!!!


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## ejw

Hello!

I have just had my first sniff of the day!  

It wasn't too bad to be honest!  Just need to be remember to do the same at 12pm!!!


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## MackLM

Hi all, 

This is only my 2nd post on this site, 1st one last night on the Male Factor area.  It is such a great relief to find it - as I feel so isolated.  I'm finding it really difficult to confide in the family and friends that know, as they just don't understand and don't know what to say - who can blame them when I would be the same if I wasn't going through it?!  I get almost angry sometimes as they don't know what's involved, all the technical terms, stats etc... but you all do!!!    It's hard to talk to DH too as he would rather deal with all this privately whereas i NEED to discuss it.  So it's good to know you're all out there!!!  

I have just made an appointment for Holly House 6th April!  I saw a consultant via NHS at Basildon Hosp last week and it hit me then that the wait on the NHS will be unbearable and I just cannot wait that long!  I am still going to have an ultrasound scan on the NHS and pay for a HSG to check all ok on my side and i've had the blood test to show that ovulation seems to be happening.  My periods are v regular and opk's have shown things seem ok too.  

We need ICSI beacuse my DH's SA's have gone from 11mil in Aug '05 down to 1.4ml with v bad motility and morf in Jan '06.  He has tried acupuncture, gone teetotal, eating like a bird (seeds etc!), v healthy and sporty anyway, course of antibiotics in case of infection, vitamins, keeping cool etc... but the SA's have got worse - aaargh!!!  We have been trying 11 months but as we knew of his probs several months ago (via a home test) we didn't see the point in waiting around for the obligatory 12-18months trying that docs suggest.  I'm nearly accepting that it's not going to happen naturally and his sperm isn't going to get better....So we gotta go for ICSI!  Feels v scary to come to terms with it.  

I was quite disappointed when the receptionist at Holly House said it was a 6wk wait to be seen but I know that treatment could start v soon afterwards so maybe it's a good thing to get my head around it, do research etc in that time.  But i'm an impatient person... once i've made my mind up, I want it now!  I am so worried it won't work that I suppose I want to get it started so i know.  So we can save up for round 2 or 3... how pessimistic is that?!? 

I am worried about cost, and feel resentful towards all my friends and family that have got pregnant so easily and for free!  And I mean it when i say, literally everyone around me has either just had a baby or is pregnant... that hurts!  I'm not telling many people due to the 'failure' feeling but the bitterness towards my friends is terrible, i feel like i'm changing in to this really jealous, angry, intolerant person - yuk! So i need to do something about it and quick!  So in the grand scheme of things, money is no object when i feel i'm going insane (bring on the loans/credit cards - uh oh!).  Though the decision to go private and get the ball well and truly rolling has given me some satisfaction/peace.

I am really worried about the treatment regarding work also!!!  I am a teacher and it's not the kind of job you can do when you're feeling crappy!  And it's going to be so hard to get time off and cover without telling my head - which i REALLY don't want to do!  I want a new contract next year and if i have to tell her, i'll be giving up all hope of getting one.  Would be great if all the appointments and side effects fell in the Easter holidays but it's too late now (why didn't we make this decision sooner?!?!  )

So, there's a lot to consider isn't there!? Woh!  Did anyone else have work problems?  

Would be great to keep in touch with you all and it's v interesting to hear of other Holly House experiences!

Thanks for listening   MackLM xxx


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## ejw

Hello MackLM 

I can totally understand where you are coming from.  

We were told that husband had 98% abnormal sperm.  I can tell you it was a massive shock.  Certainly not the result we were expecting.  Husband is keeping it all in ... but I need to talk to people, so finding this website was a god send!!!

We saw our consultant at BUPA Roding ... and we managed to get an appointment with him within a week.  If you are not happy waiting six weeks give them a call and see if they can get you in sooner.  He is very nice.  My first appointment was on 13 January .. and I have started the sniffing stage today, so its all gone very quick!

Its hard because like you all our friends have babies/toddlers and my sister is due to give birth within the next six weeks .. 

I found though that if I spoke to my friends they were very supportive.  Before we even realised that we would have to go down this route I mentioned to a very good friend of mine how much how consultant said it would cost ... she has been the best friend ever because she wrote us out a cheque there and then!!  We have to pay her back .. but that was a massive weight lifted off our shoulders.

It is hard for friends and family as they don't know what to say and they don't want to you upset ... but speak to them .. let them know your fears ... sometimes a hug is better than words 

Keep in touch .... and good luck


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## MackLM

Hi ejw, 

How's the sniffing going?  Any symptoms yet?

I've received my pack from HH and am starting to piece it all together.  I'm now getting my head around all the terms and what needs doing and when. It does seem scary how soon you started!  I'm going to use these 5 weeks and 5 days til our appointment (who's counting?! ) to get my self in better shape, healthier eating, do some exercise and try reflexology.  Might make the time go a bit quicker!  I suppose treatment could start v soon after the appointment?!?!  Really want to avoid telling work but i'm a teacher and so can't just book day's hols or go off for appointments as my class would need cover.  Will prob lose all hope of my contract being renewed if I do tell though - dilemma 

Anyway, best of luck - keep in touch.

MackLM x


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## gill73

Hi Girlies

My DH and I had our initial consultation on wed and we will be having ISCI starting end April, as my BP is high (a touch of white coat syndrome I think!)

Poor old DH count has dropped from 80million 2 years ago when we had initial investigations to 12million now.

I am trying desperately to curb white wine vice, but had to visit best bud and brand new baby today, so I think a good dose of Casualty and Chardonnay is on the cards for tonight! Ill start again tommorrow.

I am having accupunture and DH will be starting next week too, I have just ordered a hypno-conception CD , positive mental attitude and all that!!!!

Good luck girls, I love this site


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