# sperm AND egg sharing?



## theory (Jun 21, 2010)

I struggled to come up with a subject line for this thread - basically, I'm straight and married, and after two failed IVF cycles, I've been told that my only real option is egg donation. The problem is my age (almost 43), not my partner's sperm, which is (according to the embryologists we've spoken) 'donor quality.'  Our thought was to donate his sperm to a lesbian couple who where one partner could act as an egg donor or sharer (i.e. we would expect to pay for the treatment).  From our perspective, we're interested in doing this for our own sake, of course, but also because we'd like to help a lesbian couple and because we'd ideally like the opportunity to meet the egg donor/sperm recipient. We live in London with our daughter (2). If anyone knows a website or clinic that facilitates this kind of thing or is interested herself, I'd love to hear from you.


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay theory,

ive always thought this would be a good idea!  and didnt really know why i hadnt heard of it before.  i guess knowing the egg/sperm donor isnt everyones cup of tea, but lots of lesbian couples use known donors and lots of lesbian couples donate eggs (to help with costs and to help someone else).  
i wondered why clinics didnt offer reduction of fees to hetro couples who would donate sperm as their is a shortage of sperm too.

i would have thought some of the anxiety regarding known donors that some lesbians have, with regard to the non carrying mum's position in the family being threatened by the donor would be less in a situation like you describe because its two couples making two seperate families (all be it genetically linked) - whereas a threeway relationship with the lesbian couple and donor the dynamics maybe a little more freeflowing.  but its just a guess.

good luck in finding a couple who might like to make a family with you!

ax


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## katenreb (Oct 3, 2010)

we are a lesbian couple have been think very much on the same lines as you, we know we will find it hard finding a donor as we have 4 children from my previous relationship (a heterosexual one). we are both nursery nurses so work on min wage so paying at a sperm bank is out of the question for us. I always wanted lots of children even though apart of me always knew I bisexual, most people I meet think I am mad but I love my busy life! what we had been looking at was finding a gay couple that wanted children as well and I would act as a surrogacy and my partner Rebbecca as would carry a child for us, we don't even know where to start, but reading your post as reassured me that it may be possible. If we didn't live in yorkshire may we could have talked more about what you are looking for and worked something out good luck with your search.


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## ritzi (Feb 18, 2006)

theory

there are clinics that offer sperms share tx - you donate you husbands sperm and get tx cost great reduced.....i think bourne hall is one of them

perhaps you can talk with them re needing donor eggs but happy to donate sperm? 

hth, ritz


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## theory (Jun 21, 2010)

thanks everyone for the input. I found the site prideangel and registered as an egg recipient, but it doesn't really let you get into details about looking for this kind of exchange...will contact Bourn Hall though


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## Fairie (Sep 13, 2009)

Hey, I private mailed you


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