# Is it Me?



## Mochashosh (Jan 23, 2018)

Hi Folks.  I'm having a really bad day today, so I came on here for a bit of friendship and maybe advice.

Briefly, we've had 3 failed cycles with a clinic in London (2 BFN and 1 miscarriage).  We really liked the support team at the clinic but we never really got on with the consultant, and it was the same protocol every time, so we decided it might be time for a change.  We were recommended someone else. 

Here's the long bit.

Firstly, we had to wait over 3 months for an appointment (this is a VERY expensive private clinic, mind you).  The consultant was very nice, and we felt reassured by him.  He asked me to have a blood test.  Now, I'm sure this is very standard, but I'm extremely needle-phobic and literally go into shock if anyone takes my blood.  He was very understanding and said he would book a phlebotomist.  So the next day, we go back.  We wait 20 minutes, then a nurse comes and tells us that the phlebotomist will be another half hour (remember, we had booked a specific time to see him).  I was willing to wait, but she practically dragged me into another room and insisted on having a go herself.  I'll spare you the details, but the pain and bruising were terrible; I still can't talk about it.

Results were supposed to be through in 4-5 days.  After a week of hearing nothing, I emailed the secretary.  No response.  As it turned out, there was a letter in the post, but it wouldn't have hurt to have known this.  The letter asks us to make another appointment (by the way, there is no mention of cost at any point at all, and we get a huge bill for the blood test).  So we phone for one, and there isn't one available until the end of the month.  Not much good when I'm expecting my period before then and need to start a cycle.  She does eventually manage to squeeze me in, and we go back on Wednesday.

Again, the consultant is very nice, but we explain that we'd like to meet the team we'll be dealing with, because once we start, we don't expect to set eyes on the consultant again.  At my last clinic I always had the same nurse, and she would always answer my emails promptly and was just so lovely.  The receptionist was fabulous too and always got back to me really quickly.  Anyway, at this clinic we met a nurse, who was sweet, and the patient services manager.  We still had to ask 2 or 3 times before we could get them to send us an estimate.  By close of play the nurse emailed me with an explanation of how to take the meds (but I don't actually have the meds because they don't have an in-house pharmacy and we have to order them).  Incidentally, the new protocol is 3 injections a day, two of which are essentially reconstituted urine.  So you can see why I'm feeling a bit apprehensive.

It was a while before I could write back to the nurse, but I explained to her that we'd like to order the drugs today so that we could have the option of choosing this cycle or next depending on how I'm feeling.  I forgot to mention that I have a bit of a cold, and the consultant has started me on a very tiny dose of thyroxine. I'm not sure whether it's the cold, the thyroxine, the anxiety or all the above, but I feel wretched and can't stop crying.  The thing is, I emailed this morning, and I've still heard nothing, not even a holding message.  I don't think they're open at the weekend, so if we don't order the drugs today we could miss out, because my period is due any day now.  I've explained this in my email.

I simply don't know what to do.  I'm losing confidence in this new clinic by the minute.  Not the consultant, but the team.  But maybe this is normal and I was just spoiled by the standard of nursing at the old clinic? I don't know.  I don't really want to go back to the old clinic, because I never did feel the consultant was trying, just going through the motions and they didn't even bother to contact us after the last failed cycle, so we don't really feel they're bothered.  But maybe that's normal and I'm just being a drama queen (expect they contacted us after our previous cycles with them).  I simply don't know.  And I really miss my nurse.

Am I just being a brat and expecting too much, or am I right to be concerned?  This is an anxious time, as this is potentially our last cycle for various reasons, so we want it to be a good one.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for listening.
xxx


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## Kiss (Oct 23, 2017)

Hiya
It's such an anxious time doing IVF that I think we are all expecting high levels of service for a treatment we pay for and of course there are always issues. I found the same at my clinic. There were lots of occasions I had to call and chase and ask when they weren't proactive. It's a frustrating thing when you are paying so much money. I only saw the doctor when a treatment failed, it was all nurses through the process. I think you just have to vote with your feet if you aren't happy. My thinking was that you should never wait for them to reply on anything important just keep contacting them until you get satisfaction, it such and important thing in your life, you can't rely on a nurse or receptionist who might have a big workload. 
I hope you are feeling better, totally understand how you feel, it's an emotional roller coaster.
Xx


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## Mochashosh (Jan 23, 2018)

Hi Kiss

Thank you so much for getting back to me.  

Everyone I talk to is very nice, but they just don't seem to follow through.  Today I rang the emergency number because we hadn't heard from the drug courier.  She promised to speak to the nurse first thing, but I simply don't believe any of their promises, because every single one has not been followed so far. 

Anyway, let's see what tomorrow brings.  The waiting is always the worst, isn't it?

Take care, and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

xx


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## TierraFirma (Jan 6, 2013)

Hey 👋 

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through and how your feeling now. Clinics can be busy etc but like was said you are paying a lot of money so would expect some kind of service. I have never had an issue with my clinic thankfully but I agree with kiss that you shouldn’t sit about waiting on them hell I’d be hounding them haha.

I think you should have a chat with the clinic about how your feeling though, considering what your doing and going through you need to feel comfortable and have confidence in your medical team and not getting follow up responses etc is easily going to make you anxious and you don’t want to start a cycle off like that. 

X


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## Mochashosh (Jan 23, 2018)

Ladies - a quick update.  I've been through absolute hell this morning.  Not going to go into the details but they've messed up big time and really ramped up my levels of stress.  I don't need this.

We're going to go with them, but when this is over I'm inclined to report them or at least write a stinky letter to the practice manager.  I'd be tempted to pull out altogether, because nothing they've done so far has been remotely good, but then we'd miss a cycle, and I really want to do another one this year.

So, please catch up with me over in cycle buddies.  I'll be hanging out there for a while.

Thank you for all your supportive notes.  The last few days have been incredibly unpleasant, and the worst thing is that it seems to be pretty much standard to treat people like this.  For the money we're paying I think we have a right to expect better.  Frankly, I've had better service in the NHS, and that's saying something!

xxx


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## Kiss (Oct 23, 2017)

Sorry to hear that. It's just so horrible having issues with the clinic. I had a few problems with mine not processing my drugs order and it got a bit stressy but nothing too drastic. I hope all good now for you M and good luck   definitely tell them your feelings it's the best thing for you to get it off your chest and for them to get the feedback.


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