# 2 failed IVF, first FET



## Bernadette Stokes (Jul 29, 2014)

Hello,

Today I got my test back and negative. I have had one fresh cycle transfer and this was for first FET. I am feeling so despondent and am not sure I have it in me to do this again. if the doctor couldn't get me pregnant twice what is the chance of a 3rd?? I am in RSA and it has cost me cost on R 100k and now to fork out about R15k when chances are so low is it worth it? Emotionally I am really battling - please help someone!!!


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Hello

I'm so sorry to hear about your failed cycle, I have had 2 failed and 1 cancelled and I know how hard it is to stay positive, I can't bring myself to try again at the moment 

I have moved your post to the negative cycle board as I feel the ladies there will be better informed to help than the ladies in the intro section

L x


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## Bernadette Stokes (Jul 29, 2014)

Thank you so much Lilly.

I don't know what to do. Is it really worth seeing the doctor again ?I am loathed to go back , all he is going to do is another transfer which 99% chance won’t take – I might as well take R15k and flush it down my toilet. The sister phoned me with the results and said I must come see him again – I asked if it would make a difference. Last time he put me on endometriosis medicine and then never did anything to check if it had gone. So this time I go back I get the same sing song and wait two months for things to settle and go through all the emotions and painful injections for a negative result? 

I am so sorry about your 2 negatives - it is absolutely heart breaking


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Sorry you're feeling so low  

It's definitely worth going to see them again, and if you have embryos that were good enough to freeze the chance of them working is between 25-55% (varies a lot depending on clinic and other factors) which is load a better than the 1% chance you are giving yourself at the moment sweetie.

You are in a really difficult place right now and it's really hard sometimes to ever think you can come back from it, but you can: it's such early days for you. Maybe a few months off if a good idea - maybe book the consultation when you have given yourself a bit of a break.

With regards to the endometriosis medicine do you mean down regulation treatment like zolodex/lupron/prostap? That can't sadly get rid of endometriosis, but it helps to quieten it down before transfer. Sadly only excision surgery can remove endo, and the only way to check it's there or not is with a lap so I think your Dr hasn't done anything wrong regarding this - other than maybe not explaining the details of what they have done and why. Sometimes they just tell you stuff and don't explain themselves - it's very frustrating.

Sending you loads of love and hugs      

Xxx


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## Bernadette Stokes (Jul 29, 2014)

Thank you so much for your kinds words. I am already feeling a tiny bit better since Thursday when I got the results. 

My doctor has a very good reputation here in Durban so I have no doubt he is and has done everything he can. He hasn't quite explained it like you have. So are you saying I will always have endometriosis? And will that stop me falling pregnant? We thought it was my husband as we reversed his vasectomy but in the end it was the endometriosis wasn't it? :-(


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## Lilypink (Oct 8, 2013)

I am going through the same thing as you had a failed ICSI cycle in august and got a BFN 2 days ago on FET. Both times top grade day 5 blasts transferred  
It's the worst feeling in the world but I know I just can't give up yet. 
I'm going to have a break, try and enjoy Christmas and fresh start next year. 
I also had a lap last year and had mild grade 1 endo which was mostly cleared but I'm aware it can come back. 
Have you looked at endometrial scratches or immune testing? 
Iv been trawling the internet last few days and I think they are the avenues I want to discuss with my consultant next. 
I hope you feel better soon & sending big hugs x 
Good Luck to us for 2015  xx


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## Bernadette Stokes (Jul 29, 2014)

Hello Lilypink,

I feel your pain! As cliché as it sounds each day does get better *sigh*. My doctor did a scratch before my FET but I have been for no other testing. I am sure he has sent bloods and probably the scratch for tests but I really do not know.  I am seeing him next week Wednesday to ask if we cannot do more tests or a lapo or something to see what is going on inside me. 

My job is quite stressful and I fly to Taiwan for the 2nd time this year on Saturday. My next trip would be in March next year, so I wonder if that isn't helping with falling preggers - I just do not know. I thought maybe December time would be good to try as I go on 2 weeks leave? I doubt my DH would agree though - he wants us to have a break I am worried about getting older!! I have just turned 37!

Thank you for the reply - no one can understand what we are going through unless they go through it themselves!

xxxx


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## Lilypink (Oct 8, 2013)

How did you find the actual scratch were you awake? 
I don't blame you I think it's good to have a little break but I'm the same not ready to give up. 
Phoned my clinic today to give them my negative result and have asked to have a review with a diff consultant before next cycle just to get a second opinion. 
Also booked a consultation with a private clinic. 

Really want to find out more about immune issues NK cells etc x


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## Bernadette Stokes (Jul 29, 2014)

Hello,

Yes the scratch was while I was awake, it was sore I wont lie! That was apparently to help the embryo implant - this didn't happen.

I have made an appointment to see my FS again next Wednesday - and I am writing down all the questions I need to ask - one always forgets what you want to ask when you are sitting in front of the doc.

Here is SA everything is private with fertility - not even the medical aids over anything, so this whole thing has cost me a pretty penny so far and I am still not there


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## Tummytime (Feb 2, 2012)

Hi hun just wanted to give you some reassurance.  When trying to conceive my next child I had a failed fresh and then a failed frozen. Both top quality blasts each time. I then had another fet with an average quality blast and it worked!  I'm trying for another and have had four bfns in a row. The Embryologist gave me some really good words of wisdom yesterday.  She reminded me that each embryo won't make a baby no matter how good quality just like when trying naturally other women won't fall every month. Sometimes it's just a case of waiting for that magical embryo that's waiting to be your babyxxx


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