# life is not fair.



## Sharez (Nov 13, 2007)

just had my 4th BFN.  It was my first time with ICSI.  I feel so dead and numb inside. I just don't know how I'm going to carry on with my life. I can't imagine my life without children.  We can't continue with tx because we have no money for this.  If we are lucky we might be able to raise the £1000 it will cost for FET. I feel that I'm a useless wife, and daughter.  I just want to crawl into bed and never come out. I can't even contemplate going back to work.  What makes it more frustrating is I have no idea why we are not getting pregnant. Eggs were great embryos were 11 cells when they were transferred. WHY DIDN'T IT WORK??


----------



## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Sharez, firstly sending you a big hug as I think that's much needed, sorry to hear that this cycle hasn't worked. I agree, life is unfair and for some people not at all easy..

Have you looked into to having basic immunes tested? Most G.P.s are willing to do Level 1 immunes, I'll see if I can find a link and post it tomorrow, Dr Beers book is very helpful although very wordy and that does give great insight into all the immune issue side.

You aren't useless as a wife or daughter so stop thinking that, try and remember all the good things that you have, a loving husband and family who are no doubt very supportive and would be horrified to know that you feel this way..

How many frozen embryos do you have? Is there any possibility of getting any funding for further cycles?

Thinking of you and hope that you're ok x


----------



## Sharez (Nov 13, 2007)

Thank you for that. I just needed somewhere to release.  We have 2 frozen embryos.  I don't think we can get funding for anymore cycles, I wouldn't know where to start looking.  I know in my heart that I'm not useless but its hard to realize this when I believe that my purpose is to have children.  I will look up that dr beers book and that other info would be great. Where do you stand with tx etc


----------



## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Sharez, I had three cycles, got pregnant on my third but sadly miscarried. No more treatment for us now and to be honest although I'll always yearn for the children I did not have, I am actually happy it just being us, a couple..x


----------



## Sharez (Nov 13, 2007)

I wish I could feel like that.  Maybe I will in the future if we are not successful. I just feel cheated cos I'm not ready to give up


----------



## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Sharez, I agree, it's easy and you will know when you're ready to stop, at least for now you have your FET to focus on and make plans for.  Don't make any rash decisions to soon, it's too short after your negative cycle to rush into anything x


----------



## jenni01 (Oct 15, 2010)

Hi Sharez! 
I didn't want to read and run hun...
It's so hard not to put all the pressure of success in fertility on yourself believe me I do know, as do alot of other women..
With ref to the cost of your FET, can you look at maybe getting a loan?..
Also why don't you go and see your GP and discuss what other option's that you may have..
For me personally in total I've had 4 IVF's and 2 FET's which didn't work but then my GP prescribed me Clomid, I know that it's different for everyone but it's worth having a chat about your next step.
Also, I agree about the immune's testing, you could possibly ask your GP if you can do this through him/her... 
Not having a successful tx is a loss hun and like any loss you need time to grieve, but if you can give yourself a goal you will find it a "little" easier..
Take care and I wish you well.  
Jen.x


----------

