# Donor eggs and sperm - doing it alone - where and how?



## Gaylee (Jun 20, 2009)

Rather than covering old ground you can read my story in Desperately Seeking a Friend or Two. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=198077.0
Many thanks for the responses. At a time when I feel I am in a living nightmare it helps to have feedback from so many who understand and know I am not alone.

At the moment I feel so raw and need to heal. So many options are going round but having held out for so long for a baby I do hope when strong enough perhaps I can do the egg donorship alone. Having put so much time and energy into a partner who has consistently stalled, made promises only to break them and let me down and is remarkably adept at avoiding issues I know it will take time to recover. Unfortunately time is not something I have on my hands.

I would so like to hear from any other women who have gone abroad and done donorship alone - good and bad. My doctor at the Nuffield is in favour of Valencia and Nuffield would be happy to do drugs and scans prior to treatment.

Please share experiences and tips and point me in direction of useful links on this site. A little LARGE and daunting for a newbie!!


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi again Gaylee, hope you don't mind but I have moved this here so that the single ladies here can see it. I know they are all lovely ladies here and will offer you amazing support whatever direction your journey takes. Someone will be along very soon to offer you some support and advice.

Wishing you loads of luck and a big 

C~x


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## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

Hello, I haven't done it yet - going for donor eggs at the moment. But if that fails it will be double donor for me as no more sperm (one frozen left).  I am not going it alone, but since double donor is potentially my last resort I have looked at clinics.  The AVA peter clinic in St Petersburg looks amazing. They have embryo donation - so the hard work has already been done. Its a lot cheaper too.  Check out their website.

Good luck, and keep on going - we find the most amazing amount of inner strength at times like these!



Alley


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Gaylee,     Hope things take a turn for the better from here on in and you reach your dream.

I am not going abroad for my double donor tx, but went through my first cycle of tx using donor eggs and sperm in March. Sadly, that one didn't work, but I have signed up at a second clinic in London now and hope to start my next cycle in the next three months. However, there are a few other single ladies either pregnant (LadyLottie) or TTC (Richmond Lass, JJ1, Candee, Mistimop) using donor eggs and sperm abroad on the singles board and I'm sure they will pop over to share with you some of their own experiences. You might want to have a look at a new-ish thread on the singles board dedicated to single women using donor eggs (and sperm - by definition! ): http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=196487.0

A-Mx


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Hello Gaylee

I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment  .

I hope we can help you on here

Love

LL xxx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Gaylee there is a specific IVI thread and there are ladies from Valencia on there who might be able to help as well

Good Luck
L x


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## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

Hi Gaylee

I can relate to your story because I first TTC with a partner, had signed for treatment at CRM in London ...and then we split up.  He very much wanted a baby - perhaps more than me at first - so slightly different but I can relate to that feeling of having the rug pulled out from underneath you just as you were starting to think it might happen.  It's a cruel, cruel world and some human being contribute to that cruelty - some inadvertently, and some through their selfish actions.

In any case, you now have the choice to go it alone!  I am going to Institute Marques in Barcelona.  Sound like your UK clinic has a link with a clinic in Valencia - there's plenty of info here and on the web but it does seem a bit daunting when you start because there's so much!  At the end of the day, some of it is gut feeling and I chose IM because of a hugely positive personal recommendation.  But it's not cheap - lots of ladies on here go to the Czech Republic whcih works out cheaper.  Check out the abroadies thread.

Lots of luck
RLxx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hi Gayle,

So sorry to hear that things have been so tough for you - sending you a big  

I'm not quite in the same situation as you since I decided to go it alone from the start (just never met Mr Right and time running out). After several failed attempts with my own eggs, I'm now moving to DE....I have a cycle booked at LWC in London and am also on the waiting list at CRM (back up plan, hopefully won't need it)

I decided to stay in the UK for my tx because I want the child to be able to find out more about their biological heritage when they grow up. Just a personal decision, but one that is important to me. It's more expensive in the UK, but the waiting lists are not as long as you might think....just in case it is waiting lists which have been putting you off having tx in the UK

Quite a few of us singlies are using Reprofit in CZ - they have a long wait (nearly a year) for fresh donor cycle, but are very good value for money and they are an excellent clinic with good success rates (I had OE IVF there earlier this year and was very impressed with the quality of their service)

Do come and chat on the various single girls threads, we're a very supportive group in general and I've certainly found it's helped at every step of the way to be able to talk to others in the same situation. We meet up in person quite often too, so if you feel it would help to talk to others going through the same thing, check out the latest meet plans

Wishing you all the very best, hope you find a way forward which works for you,
Suitcase
x


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

Gaylee 

Hello - I completely understand where you are coming from. I will be having my first cycle of donor egg/donor sperm IVF in September. I've chosen to go to the Serum clinic in Athens. The deciding factors for me were: personal recommendation, cost and no waiting list. 

I wasted most of my 30s on a man who didn't want kids and (love is blind and all that) it was only when we eventually spit that I realised how desperately I DID want children and was keeping schtum to make him happy. What a mug. Of course he met someone else and now has a family. 

I can't tell you how much analysing, agonising, tearful nights and bottles of pinot grigio it took for me to finally make the decision to go it alone and to use donor eggs. Even now I still have cold sweats wondering how I will cope, how I'll be able to work and look after a baby etc...but I just know I will. 

It's very hard going it alone sometimes. I went to Athens for my first consulation last month and I felt very tearful because I was there by myself, I didn't know my way around, I couldn't speak the language, I got lost and couldn't ask for directions - it was really overwhelming. 

But I believe it will all be worth it in the end and you have to too.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Ladies  I never go alone to appt or abroad my donor or his partner come with me and on one occassion neither could come so I took my friend to the appt, just to have support and company I really don't think I could go alone.  Some people take their parents, do you have a friend who could go with you?

Violet  -Penny seems to have some fantastic results at Serum.
L x


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

JJ - Penny is absolutely lovely and, yes, she appears to have an amazing success rate. 
let's hope I don't jinx it!

I can't really afford to pay for anybody to come with me and I don't feel I can ask ask a friend to fork out £300 odd quid to accompany me - i just need to stop being a wuss. 

I'm back to Athens in about 10 days for a hysteroscopy and my sister was going to come with me but, sod's law, her 15year old daughter has decided to start staying out all night drinking and going awol - so she has her hands full and can't really risk coming away.


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Good luck Violet - hope you have a more positive experience next time around of being in Greece, full of hopeful expectation of becoming a new mum.  Have you been posting on the Serum thread?  You might find there are a few people out there at the same time and happy to meet up.   

A-Mx


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

Yep - I have been posting on there and they are a nice bunch, so might well be somebody in town the same time as me. 

I've decided to book myself into a 5 star hotel and enjoy a bit of pampering this time.


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Oooohhhh YES!  That could be fun!!


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