# waiting 10 years for chance for baby any advice?



## Sara Gwynneth (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi there

I found this web site last night. my husband and I have wanted a baby for nearly 11 years but his condition does not allow it and all our money goes on his treatment. Now we finally have a chance I'm more worried than I thought I would be. 

Any Advice?


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## crazykate (Oct 1, 2007)

Hi Sara

oh hun it's only natural that you'll be worried - my advice is to take each day as it comes  

without sounding like a complete looper on my part  - are you undergoing treatment or adopting ?

I wish you the very best and please log on and let us know how you get on.


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## lmk (Jul 5, 2008)

welcome sara, ask away someone here will be able to help.

have you been referred by your gp? are you in the north will you be attending royal or origin?

hope you get your prayers answered lmk xx


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## Sara Gwynneth (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi there

thanks for your reply and your not a looper I should have made my self more clear. We have been offered a donation from a friend who works in a hospital she knows someone who is willing to donate to us but I,m unsure. We were looking into a clinic in dublin but everything is so expensive. We dont know if we can afford more than one go.


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## crazykate (Oct 1, 2007)

Such a big decision to make but if you don't take the opportunity will you always be wondering what if ?

life is full of so many missed opportunities


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## Sara Gwynneth (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi Crazykate and Imk

i know I really need to take this chance. We have wanted it for so long and when ever i spoke to our GP befor he was always so preoccupied with my husbands condition it always got brushed over and it was always a touchy subject with my husband because he was so angry about it. I feel that i should grab a both oppertunaties just to make sure. I have a son who is 13 from befor I met my husband and now I feel that i have already left to long to have another child. My sisters have all finished having their famalies so I will be doing this one alone. I just feel like I dont know weather to be happy or cry for fear that it wont work, even typing this is really hard to cope with. I never thought i would be so scared it would not work.


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## NCKB (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi Sara, 
Welcome......
I only found this website myself yesterday and im hooked already      everyone ive spoke to is so kind and great for answering questions!! Everyone on here has same the same goal and we are all after the one thing a   so take any chance you may be given with both hands, its only natural you will be worried but as crazykate says if you dnt take this chance then you will always be wondering what if....... 
Im attending a clinic in Dublin which one are you looking at?? it is expensive we paid 5700 euro last wk to the hosp and will have to pay more this fri for bloods etc   but if it works out i dont care how much it costs   
Well you wont be alone - you will have all us crazy girls on FF to help you out and you can just log on here and have a yap with others who may be in the same situation .... thats my plan anyways as i dont know anyone who is goin tru this either


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## NCKB (Aug 10, 2009)

blew u all some bubbles for luck


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## crazykate (Oct 1, 2007)

You will not be doing it alone - you've got all of us to share your ups and downs, hopes and fears        and I'm sure your sisters will be there to support you all the way  

what is dh's condition  What does he think of the opportunity you have been given 

my dh was very angry and embarrassed and still doesn't like to talk about our situation and finds it very hard to talk about still    (he has poor   )

Grab the opportunity with both hands and what will be will be    but you have to think positives not negatives mrs!!


Hello NCKB   good luck with your journey too


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## emak (Jan 21, 2008)

Hi Sara ,welcome to FF .I just wanna second what Kate has said "go for it" cause if you dont take this opportunity you will always be wondering what if ? How does your DH feel about using a doner ,i think it must be very difficult to get you head around and likewise if it was a egg donation .Its only natural to feel scared about it not working we all feel the same and then there is the cost    ,just want to send you loads of       and we are all here for you .Take care
Emma


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## Sara Gwynneth (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi everyone

somany replys I dont know who to answer first.

well first thank you everyone for your support, very much appreciated. this has been a very long and lonely journey as we have had to keep it quiet as my husband did not want people around knowing about his condition.

He has a condition called Klienfelters syndrome which means he has an extra chromesome. His body started to develope propperly while still in his mothers womb and then changed. He looks normal from the outset but his internal organs have all been effected and his testes did not develop fully. A doctor once described it as a car whose battery is not conected propperly and so will not run propperly and will break down faster. We knew there was a problem about 18 months after we started going out as we agreed from the start that we wanted children right away but it was not until we got married 7 yrs ago that he got diagnosed. It has been a fight ever since to get to see specialists and babies always came second.
His sperm cannot be used as if they were able to harverst any there would be only a 5% chance that the child would not have the same condition and it could even be more severe. So the subject was off the menu for quite a few years. Its only in the last few months that I have been able to talk to him about it and a couple of months ago we saw our GP about the Sims clinic in Dundrum. I havnt really heard of anything else in ROI. We were just waiting to have the money together and now my friend has come forward with the offer of a donation. it has suddenly made it all seem more real and i think that is what has made me so nervous.


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## NCKB (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi Sara, 

It's completly understandable that you feel so nervous but just try and stay positive, just wondering is your Dh ok with using a friend as a donor would he prefer not to know the person or is knowing the person better for him?  Its a tough situation isnt it. But you will know what is right for you hun.  As Kate and Emma said we will all be here to listen to your worries etc. 
My DP isnt too good about talkin about our fertility problems either i think he feels like if he talks about it then its real think thats y i like coming on here so much and talkin...  men they are a closed book sometimes arent they   

sending you loads of     
Nic xxx


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## Sara Gwynneth (Aug 10, 2009)

Hi Nic

i know. It seems that if they admit it they just won't be able to deal with the reality. We dont know the doner. It is a friend of a friend who understands the situation and when my friend mentioned knowing a couple in our situation he was willing to help. We will never meet him or know who he is just that he looks like my DH.

Sara


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## IGWIN79 (Jan 19, 2009)

Sarah hi just wanted to wish you all the best of luck hun , its hard i know but you will get there  and the girls on hear will help you all the way , they are all fantastic , i would have been lost with out them 
All the best of luck Sweetchilli xxx


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## sunbeam (Nov 19, 2007)

Hi Sara 

Welcome to FF.............one things for sure you will not be alone here!!!!!!!!!  I think you should go for it!!!!!!!!!!  Have you looked at clinics up north!  It may be more financially viable with the euro rate!

Good luck!!!!!!


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