# Initial visit weight issue



## Noodle001 (Dec 13, 2012)

Hi all, we've just had our initial home visit. Feeling quite stunned. We've been told that despite huge number of positives we shouldn't put in our application now due to my BMI being around 35 and it's highly likely to be rejected. Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience? No other health problems at all. Been asked by SW to reduce to nearer 30 before going forward. Doesn't seem to fit what we heard in info session or from wider reading. Really deflated as me and DH really felt in a good place about going forward with adoption route. Be good to hear others experiences and any advice on how we might move forward at same time as loosing weight....


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Could you put together a weightloss plan to show them by panel how you'll achieve reducing bmi?!


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## Noodle001 (Dec 13, 2012)

That's what I expected them to say. But the SW advised not to even start the process and recommended not putting in ROI until I'd got down from 35 to near 30. Didn't expect that.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Seems really unfair :-( I've no experiance of the weightloss but how long would it take you to get it Down to 30? 

X


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## Noodle001 (Dec 13, 2012)

Thanks for replying. I don't know but it feels like a lot - need to work out amount of weight and get a plan in place - but at the moment just really stunned and annoyed by it, and feeling like I've let DH down. Quite hard to take when there doesn't seem a hard and fast tule on this....


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## Noodle001 (Dec 13, 2012)

*rule


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Hi Noodle that is very disappointing to hear. I could never get anywhere near 30 even with the best will in the world. I'd lost 5 stone to be able to have ivf treatment but it took 4 years and the last stone took a year of basically fasting 4 days a week which is not healthy in the long run. 
We were approved a couple of weeks ago and my bmi was 36. I'd put a stone on during and since the ivf due to not fasting. Panel were happy enough to see I'm serious about my weight and although we eat really healthily, we cook everything from scratch no takeaways etc I struggle to lose it. I also made sure they were aware of me keeping myself fit by walking and cycling and although I'm fat I am fit and fat. 
For us it was about demonstrating we were aware of diet and exercise and being committed to a healthy lifestyle.
Good luck.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Also the medical report for our PAR stated because of our BMI the panel should refer to the BAAF guidelines on obesity. I've attached a link to one of the la's pages that shows the guidelines. They basically state an adopter or foster carer can not be refused on weight alone.
http://oxfordshirechildcare.proceduresonline.com/chapters/p_guide_med_advisors.html
The whole BMI thing really annoys me because it is of no indicator of health and fitness. I have a friend that drinks provably 2-3 times the recommended allowance, smokes a minimum of 20 a day and has done for over 20 years. She does no exercise and lives off sweets,crisps and takeaways yet happens to have a metabolism that means she is a size 10. Is she healthier than me that never drinks, has never smoked, eats a varied healthy diet with no processed foods or takeaways and exercises for a minimum of 45 minutes every day? It really is a farce!

/links


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## Noodle001 (Dec 13, 2012)

Becs40 thanks for your reply. Congratulations, that's great news. I completely agree. Made really clear all of those points.  I was so stunned SW said she'd go back and get more advice from her boss who makes the decision but she wasn't hopeful and said BMI is becoming the new smoking!! So frustrating when all else fine - except an issue we'd need to get fixed with the stair rail but v minor and easy to sort. I'll look into the guidance.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

So sorry to hear about this but unfortunately deferring people seems to be really common recently.  I think it's because the process has been sped up they want everything done before you start where they used to be happy for people to show a plan and carry it out while going through.  I'd try a different agency all have different stances on things,  good luck don't let this put you off xxx


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

I've said it a million times, and I will still say it again - the variances between LA's is ridiculous. My BMI is/was 53, my weight was only brought up near the end of stage 2, and for myself and my future I have tried really hard and lost a couple of stone but nowhere near what I would need to to get to a BMI like that... 

It's madness!! Fortunately we have been approved regardless as we demonstrated commitment to a healthy future, and like Becs we don't eat takeaways or junk food either, I just love cooking but I've had to exchange some ingredients to healthier options. 

Don't give up, enquire with some others in your area and see if the rules are the same there, 35 doesn't seem that bad surely there will be flexibility somewhere?!? 

Good luck x


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

I agree with others, try a different LA / VA.
I know a couple from our prep group with a VERY high BMI (MUCH higher than your 35) it was discussed during home visits, they did a family diet planner and had extra medicals but they still got approved at panel with no problem and they now have a little girl 

good luck x


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## Noodle001 (Dec 13, 2012)

Thanks all. The more I reflect on it the more frustrating the visit was! It's great to hear all of the success stories so we'll keep at it and look at other LAs/VA. just feels v unfair!..........


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

Mummy DIY Diva said:


> So sorry to hear about this but unfortunately deferring people seems to be really common recently. I think it's because the process has been sped up they want everything done before you start where they used to be happy for people to show a plan and carry it out while going through. I'd try a different agency all have different stances on things, good luck don't let this put you off xxx


Sadly i think diva has hit the nail on the head. I think to adhere to the timescales they're trying to put people off before they get off the blocks. It's all very well the government bragging about people being approved and matched quickly, but the wheel had to come off somewhere. 

I'm sure other agencies would consider you so please keep trying!


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

My bmi was 55 at approval, it's gone down to under 50 now and still dropping. Keep pushing hun.


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## dimplesforever (Aug 1, 2014)

I was approved in July with a BMI of 37. When I went for my medical the GP never mentioned my weight. At the end of the consultation she asked if I had any queries of concerns.  I said I was worried how the LA's medical advisor would view my weight and the doctor got really annoyed and said it was ridiculous to suggest that my ability to parent would be impaired by my weight.  The medical advisor's excerpt in my PAR just says that I acknowledge that I'm overweight and I'm keen to lose weight. No social workers or panel members raised the weight issue with me.

I have lost two stones since panel and I have found adoption a great motivator. I want to be as fit and strong as possible for my child/children.  I have now been provisionally linked and when I am finding it tough on the treadmill I tell myself to dig deep as I'm doing this for my little boy. I realised I must have said it out loud this morning when I got  strange look from the guy on the next rower!


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## clo76 (Oct 9, 2013)

Hi noodle, my bmi is around 35 and it was never mentioned. My DH's bmi is around the same as mine aswell. We start intros with our little boy on 6th October. Can you try other agencies or LA's? I hope everything works out. X


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