# how do i know how much to give??



## Camly

Hi all

i have posted this thread elsewhere but wondered if any of you lovely ladies could advise....

we are in the process of adopting 2 sisters aged 2 and 3.  both are quite petite. when we had them home for intro's etc, they scoffed their tea up - clean plates most times etc.  they have started to be abit funny with their food now?  as in, eating some of it and then saying 'i don't like that' etc etc.  if we say 'eat it up and you can have a nice rice/yoghurt/custard etc, then it sometimes works.  im not sure if this is down to a few things - they were not given much solids when with the BP's so im not sure if their little mouths/teeth get tired chewing?  not sure if we are giving them too much food?  if they are too excited to see what we are going to be doing next? (after tea we have bathtime with the toys etc) we have stopped the baths for the moment after tea to see if they settle abit and eat more, but so far no?  our 3 year old keeps her food in her mouth for quite a while, not sure if she is waiting for it to go mushy? our 2 year old eats more than her sister, mostly feeds herself but then it looks like she cant be bothered anymore so i help and then she eats it all up.

i am going to mention this to our sw'er etc but just wondered how much food you lovely mummys give to your toddlers?

thanks      x x x x


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## wynnster

Hi Camly

Ds goes through phases of eating like a horse to being a bit picky but generally he is a good eater.  For your girls i'd say it's early days so they could just be working out whats what    When DS first came home he would refuse certain foods (that he'd previously liked at FC's) and then I'd give him a jar for convenience, once he got wise to the fact that he'd get something else if he spat out the first it became a frequent occurence    Soon stopped though when I wised up and refused to give him anything else  

Could you perhaps move their main meal to lunchtime if they are fussier of an evening? 

My 2.5 Yr old feeds himself and does a very good job but his dinner he will usually ask 'Mummy can you help me please', I dont think it's cos he can't be bothered but more that he is getting tired at the end of a busy day. 

Food was a major worry for me in the early days, I'd worry he wasn't eating enough, he was eating too much, he wasn't eating the right things etc etc and now things are much easier.  As long as DS eats a good breakfast I dont tend to worry.

On a typical day he will eat:
B/Fast - 2x Weetabix, shreddies, porridge etc
Snack - Usually satsuma/apple or banana
Lunch - Sandwich or Soup etc - Fruit and Yoghurt
Snack - Usually a small biscuit, cereal bar or cheese & biscuits
Dinner - Proper meals but a smaller portion followed by a dessert rice pudding/angel delight/yoghurt etc
Bed - Milk & Biscuit

He eats more than my 6 year old nephew most days    Infact he generally eats more than me  

If your girls are petite then maybe they are used to smaller portions??  If I was you I would try to go with whatever they are used to for a time being and gradually change things to suit you.


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## Old Timer

Hi

Do you have any books on toddlers and their developement etc?  If not I would recommend you get one, I have 'Your Toddler month by month' by Dr Tanya Byron which I've found very helpful.

For an 18-24 month old the portions need to be small as a childs stomach at this age is about the size of their fist.  My DS was tiny when he arrived for his age and we were feeding a portion of about this size, as he grew we added a little more.  Tastebuds are still developing at this age and getting used to new tastes and textures can take a while.  If they aren't used to proper solids you may want to do things that are a bit sloppy, mash potato, mashed veg, mince etc and gradually introduce lumpier foods, possibly by not mashing as much and so on.

It may be a control behaviour, maybe you could put more on the plate than you expect the older child to eat and then say 'if you can eat this (dividing the food up) then you can have your yoghurt' or whatever.  

You may need to stick to a few meals you know they will eat and slowly add in different things, could just be that it is early days.  We were lucky with DS but food and sleep are the 2 main areas apparently that get affected when children are moved and it can take a while before things settle down again.  There are other ways of dealing with food issues, some children can't cope with more than 1 type of food on a plate at any one time and therefore will only focus and eat one of the foods - pasta sauce is a good way to get round this all mixed in as it looks the same all over the plate, some can't cope with seeing dishes of food on the table and have to have the meals dished up and any left overs out of sight, to much choice is another problem for some especially with buffets.

Generally though I would say if they were eating OK at FCs they will again, they may just be taking a bit of time to adjust or they may be using food to gain back some control or to see how it affects you.  Don't make a fuss over them not eating,  they will make up for it the next day if they need to, and praise them OTT when they do manage to eat it all or what you have said they need to eat.

Good luck
OT x


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## Mx4321

We have found that surprise will always have a good eat at breakfast time and be an okay eater at lunch time but tea time can be hit and miss.

For example he will eat three fish fingers with mash and peas one night then hardly touch his plate the next night. 

We found that when his back teeth were coming through he went off eating solids at tea time for a period, the trick is not to force it and to give them smalller portions, we also dont mention "pudding" until we know he has finished eating, mistake early in placement was to have pudding sitting on the table at the same time as meal.

Distraction is handy weapon as well, either it be music from the radio or TV in the background.

The advice we were given was not to worry to much about his tea time meal as he was having a good breakfast, he was eating fruit during the day and was drinking plenty of water/juice.

O


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## Camly

thanks folks.

we were getting abit better with giggler and her food - spoke with the HV and she said that what we were doing was right so we have carried on with this...... the only thing is in the last week in a half, giggler has been sick 3 times.... im not sure if she has too much in her mouth at the one time or if she is rushing etc? i know that one of the times, it was because she was having a tantrum after her dinner that the crying made her sick but the other 2 times? first time was with her weetabix and then again tonight it was her pizza/chips. i can always tell when its going to happen.    not quite sure how to deal with it - afterwards she is fine - neither up nor down etc apart being bit stressed about the sickness.

any advice greatly appreciated.

a thankful camly - and a sad/worried DH x x x


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## dawny36

Hi Calmly,

Food is a funny thing with children and can cause a lot of anxiety for us parents, being sick could be caused by different things and its difficult to pinpoint the cause, if she is generally well in herself apart from this it could be related to a issue around eating perhaps or maybe like you said she could be putting too much in her mouth or eating too quickly?? Health visitors are great for general advice but in my experience arent always geared up for issues with adopted tots and some of the problems they might display early in placement this may not be the case with your little one.My little one was a fantastic very compliant eater in the first 12months and now is an absolute nightmare!!! however I think toddlers can be very fussy anyway and they do know it winds us mummys and daddys up.

Try not to worry too much, hope all is well otherwise and have a lovely christmas with your little ones.

Take care

Dawny xx


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## Camly

hiya dawny

thank you for the advice. we are trying a few different ways of trying to help her.....stopped giving her as much, then if she is still hungry we give her more - so we are not putting 2 much on her plate, we are not pushing her to eat it, if she doesnt want it then thats fine but she knows she doesnt get her pudding etc.  so far we have had a full day of no sickness!! hopefully this will be another day!  

hope you and your family have a fantastic christmas x x x x


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