# Help required - trying to support friend who's grandaughter born sleeping



## Tracylou (May 6, 2005)

hi girls

I need your help    I'm trying to provide some support for a friend at work who's grandaughter has just been born sleeping at 6months   

What words can I use to help and support her 

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance

Tracy


----------



## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

I wanted to say how truly sorry i am.  I'm sure you are doing all you can and are there for her when she needs a friend, and are giving her some space when she needs that too.  I'd imagine it's going to take alot of time but the fact that you are there for her means you are being the best friend anyone can be.  

Tracy xxx


----------



## poppy05 (Apr 10, 2006)

Hi there
didn't want to read your post and not reply
what an awful thing for your friend and her family to have to deal with
i dont think there are any 'right' words you can give her, but im sure if you just let her know you are there if she needs a shoulder, that will mean alot, and a big hug goes a long way too, sometimes that speaks 1000 words
she is lucky to have such a caring friend x x


----------



## *~Nic~* (Aug 1, 2005)

Hi

I am so sad and sorry to hear this.

My baby was born sleeping at 21 weeks.

I think what Danni has said is spot on. Just knowing people were there for me when I needed them was such a great help.

Its also important for them to have their space to grieve.

My heart goes out to them xxx

Nic xxx


----------



## isobella (Jan 18, 2007)

Hi Tracy

I am sorry to hear your friends news, I know this must be a really horrific time for her.    I lost my longed for little boy last septmeber at 29 weeks, and I still cant find the right words to explain how I am feeling or why this happened.

As the other girls have said is so right, you feel like you are on a roller coaster and some days you do not come up, because not only have you lost your baby but the future you have planned for so long and every plan I made involved our baby, even though she may have people around her it is such a lonley place to be and you do feel as though a part of you is missing and will relive every moment of the pregancy and the birth and what stage she should be at now right up until the due date and beyond.

Sorry I have gone on, what I am trying to say is be there for them, sometimes you dont need words because there are none, just to feel that the baby was real to other people too, also you need time alone to just cry it through yourself but mostly people to know that just because you may smile on the outside the pain is so big on the inside and when everyone else thinks you should be 'over' and getting on that is when you need people the most.

The best website is www.uk-sands.org, they are amazing, they are the stillbirth and neonatel death society and they offer suport and guidence on how to cope and you can also get leaflets that I found really helpful, they are for everyone involved, the mothers and fathers, grandparents and siblings, friends and family have a look they may help.

You must be such a caring friend and I am so sorry for your friends loss.

Isobella
/links


----------



## Jazz1975 (Mar 19, 2008)

Hi Tracy,  I just wanted to tell you I'm so sorry to hear this sad news.  Your support, just by being there and listening if your friend needs to talk, will be such a valuable thing that you can do for her at this time.  She will need time to grieve, but knowing that you are there will be comfort to her.  I wish you and your friend all the best..  xx


----------



## caz nox (Mar 9, 2005)

Hello, 
For us we needed acknolgement that we had a son, that he was beautiful, that he looked like his dad and mum. We needed to talk every single minute of the day about how beautiful he was. 

The worst thing was being avoided by people. People used to cross the street to avoid us - that hurt. Friends didn't call in case they upset us - I needed them to call but they didn't. I have lost friends now - because when I needed their support they were not there. 

Our parents hurt more, they hurt for their children, they also hurt for the loss of their grandchild. 

Just being there - in contact is the best thing you can do. 

So sorry for their loss. 

Caznox
XX


----------

