# Wasted cycle & feeling sorry for myself



## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Feeling a bit down today girls, still so horrified by my drunken night out that I think I am still beating myself up about it - why on earth on a 2WW did I drink so much   plus me and DH haven't really had much bms, none of this every other day bms, more like every 4 days!    What a waste of a cycle - see thats what I get for taking 100mgs and not telling my doctor I have - lesson to all there I think!  I still have a cracking headache above my right eye and am working the late shift today when all I want to do is hide under my duvet and feel sorry for myself.  I so feel like i do not deserve a baby, though I know this month they'll be no real chance!  Sorry to offload like this and yes I am sounding pathetic I know - sorry.


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## Brownie (Jan 27, 2006)

Hey, don't beat yourself up. I've been taking all sorts of weird and wonderful drugs this month for an issue with my neck and I was feeling the same about it- small dose of Diazepam which acts as a muscle relaxant and really strong painkillers. Had been thinking we perhaps shouldn't even try but now I am kind of looking on the bright side and thinking maybe this will be the month it does- because I am expecting it won't- if that makes any sense whatsoever! 
I know of 3 people who've got horrifically drunk and then found out within a couple of days that they're BFP. So don't stress about it. I've been on 100 mg and feeling rough with it, so can definitely relate!


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

Nikki, you havent wasted this month at all, you are allowed to get drunk hun, god if we dont deserve a good time now and then who does.  I think you are beating yourself up for no reason.  Every 4 days for BMS could be enough, not everyone who gets pregnant has sex every other day.  Stay strong sweetie, how long have you got left of the 2ww


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

12 days so ages


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

don't worry, if you worry you will make things worse, whats done is done just take care of yourself now for the rest of the 2ww hun xxx


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Very much doubt I am pg this time so no amount of rest will make any difference but thanks hunnie


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Nikki....Sweetie, your entitled to a night off every now and then. Please don't beat yourself up over getting drunk, god I've done it for sure during 2ww. Just think, "normal" people trying for a baby don't abstain from drinking, or living, during the 2ww, trust me! You do deserve a baby and you need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Thats an order missy  

xxx


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Kerry I don't think I'll have the strength to do that today - god I so do not want to go to work and look after people today    I am just getting so tired of all this IF stuff that I want it all to end and to be able to say "I don't care anymore, I am just going to live my life as it is" but I can't get to that yet!


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Nikki hun

Sending you big  

Please don't beat yourself up about getting a bit inebriated    ...I can't speak for everyone but I know over the years of ttc, and whilst on clomid, I certainly had several occasions of being very very p!ssed !!!!  

And I know its easier said than done but try not to worry that you've not been having  every day...swimmers can live for 3-5 days so even if you've been having every 4 days then fingers crossed there would still have been some ready, willing & able for when egg popped   

Hope your hangover eases up...

Take care hun
Natasha


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## **Jenna** (Jan 11, 2005)

HEY don't feel lk tha there are people out there who are not trying and get on with their lifes drinking smoking and in some cases takin medication which u not suppose to be taken during pregnancy and they dont realise they are preg. try not to worry and everything will be ok. Good luck 
ps iam testing in 17 days thats if my period is a week late lol


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Nikki

I hadn't read this post before posting mine on this thread about drinking wine whilst ttc!!

I can TOTALLY empathise with you.

All I can say is that this is such a HUGE thing to be going through and I think it can be unhealthy to let it take over your life completely - which I know it can do - I know it's taking over mine.

You deserve a break.  However i can see where you're coming from about the guilt - I often feel like that.  It is so hard not to let it take over your whole life.  As one of the other girls said, swimmers can last up 'till about 5 days and we all need to let off steam at some point huni - this is sooooo hard.  I bet you really enjoyed your drink and it helped you relax   ....... Well, there you go - it was worth it - FOR YOURSELF!!!

I know its hard but try to tell yourself you needed it for your own sanity - and now that you've enjoyed a wee night off - you're back on the "straight and narrow" (for want of a better expression - sorry!!) and putting your "all" into ttc again.

The pressure we put on ourselves is impossible and we need to "escape" from time to time ..... otherwise, we wouldn't survive.  

I do understand how you're feeling though hun ...........

Keep in there

Love Gill xo


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## strawbs (May 16, 2005)

Nikki
Try not to worry, easier said than done, many people have done much worse!  Stressing yourself out is not good.  Try and do something nice to take your mind off it.  Good luck     

strawbs xxx


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Thanks guys but I am still on a downer - just not in a good place right now I think!


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## sweetpeapodder (Feb 6, 2005)

Nikki I'm sorry you're feeling [email protected] - I had a down month (month 3) when I had a really long cycle and missed ovulation completely - you just feel so stressed, all that horribleness for nothing... 

Forget about the drink - just start afresh from now on. 

Hang on in there, and lean on us for a while hun - sending you a big fat   and lots of


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## jocole69 (Dec 19, 2004)

Hi Nikki,

Please don't feel bad about getting tiddly! I am afraid to say i do drink quite alot as we go out socialising loads! I am not gonna put my life totally on hold and whose to say it makes any difference anyway eh?! think of all the drunken nights out women get pregnant on!! birthdays, weddings, anniversarys, Xmas etc.... must be drink involved  

I read on the net of a fertilty doc saying a few glasses of red is good cos helps your body to relax etc..
So STOP blaming yourself, and as for not having sex to much, i know where your coming from, i worry we dont have BMS enough.. but you have to have a life tooo- if its meant to be it will. Take care, and chill (or try)..  Jo xx
But we do understand!!!


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## Mrs Nikki (Nov 13, 2004)

Thanks guys, no matter what anyone says I have wasted this cycle and won't change my mind about that - I just need to try and not fall too deeply down thats all!  Thanks for all your support though.


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## kim77 (Dec 17, 2005)

Nikki

So sorry your feeling down, sending you a big hug   Just remember how much we all care about your on here and it you are feeling low then were are all here to listen to you.



Kim xxx


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## maxmarnie (Oct 27, 2005)

This post has been so good to read I am on my 2WW and I am absolutely craving a glass of wine and reading some of the posts I am going to go get one now, its saturday night im on my own watching tv, me and my boyf are still not talking he spent the 2nd night on the sofa last night, so I think I am worthy of on glass, it is right that you can't let the TTC take over your life, its makes me miserable and hearing everyone else, I'm not alone. Also the BMS thing I'm worried we didn't enough, boyf doesn't want to do it on schedule and neither do I but you can guarentee when the ovulation test says yes I turn into a lady possessed, and I get angry if I can't sway him, even if I don't want it, I know theres probably a few women nodding there heads and smiling at that point, anyway i'm off to get a glass, you've all made my night xx

Max
x x


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## jocole69 (Dec 19, 2004)

Maxine i hope you enjoyed that glass of red - good on you. Sorry to hear youve had a tiff with BF.
I was nodding at what you wrote, as soon as im cd11 i start 'going for it' and hassling my BF to do the deed - i think he gets stressed cos he had a problem actually cumming (sorry!) which has never happened, i got even more angry etc.. then we nearly fell out! 
Also, last month i tried so hard, got really sore and ended up with cystitis/UTI!!!  Not doing that again and i used Preseed too etc..    

Nikki - i still think you shouldnt feel bad    Jo x


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