# struggling to move on



## lilacheva (Jun 13, 2012)

hi 

id just like a bit of advice , 

after my 2nd BFN yesterday from  a FET i just cant get my head round it 
i was 100% convinced that it had worked this time , id said to DP it would be a great shock to see not pregnant on cbd 

however thats the cruel words that were spelled out to me yesterday morning 

i had an 18 day wait so obv when i rang hosp they said thats your result !!

i have had no AF , my (.) (.) are so veiny and i cannot stop burping ! this made me believe that before i took test i was pregnant and i still believe it now 
i feel so different 
what do you think girls does it happen often a BFP cant be detected or am i clutching at straws 
i just need a way to move on 
i am sorry for everyones negative treatment this is so hard 
i have also never been on the negative treatment threads as last time i got BFN i kinda crawled away and nursed my wounds alone . this time i need support as i know its not sunk in yet as i dont believe it !!

thank you 
xxx


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## KoolKat (Mar 20, 2013)

Sorry to hear about your BFN. 18 days after transfer a blood test would show hcg. It's very difficult to accept a negative when you have spent a month dreaming and hoping. Best wishes


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## bambibaby12 (Oct 29, 2012)

I'm so sorry this cycle didn't work for you and it just isn't fair that your body seems to be almost tricking you. It is true that you could have had a late implanter and there was a lady on here that got a bfn on OTD and so she and DH booked a weekend away and ate & drank everything they wanted then a few wks later she still hadn't had AF and she got a BFP and it was the cycle that had worked but late implantation. 

Keeping everything crossed you get your dream chic.xxx


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## lilacheva (Jun 13, 2012)

hi , thank you for your kind words 
your right my stupid body is tricking me !! its just cruel !! , still no AF still all the same symptoms ! 
im going to leave it until after weekend and then book in at drs i think 

xxx


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## danceintherain (Apr 16, 2013)

hello
I just wanted to add that I had similar feelings after my first IVF cycle. After I called the clinic to report the BFN on my test day the nurse told me to stop taking the progesterone pessaries - I found it really hard to stop taking them just in case I was actually pregnant. In my case AF arrived about a week later. Sorry you're going through this xxx


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## lilacheva (Jun 13, 2012)

hi dancinintherain

well i was actually going to post that very question !! when would af show after failed as by my calculations im 12 days late now with no signs of her either !

i bled last time on pessaries is it normal for it to change cycle to cycle !! 

i know im probably heading for another thump in the teeth but im still holding on to the fact that im one of them ppl that the hcg wont show up   

xxx


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## Sarapd (Dec 4, 2012)

Lilacheva - I'm so sorry. I know how devastating and horrible this is. My AF took around 4-5 days to come after my second cycle failed. It may seem hard to see anything beyond this now but take it one step at a time and don't push yourself too hard. It's been over two weeks for me and I'm still avoiding people and crying now and then. But little by little it does get easier. 
Sara. xx


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## mross (Jul 10, 2012)

Aww liacheva, I was cycling similar time to you. So sorry to hear bfn. I was exactly the same....convinced I was pregnant, boobs were veiny, very queasy even eating pregnant foods etc......but bfn, I couldn't believe it.  It usually takes 2 to 7 days to have period once you stop meds. I'm assuming you were on prog and estregen? Both my fets I bled 2 days after stopping medication. Oh I'm so sorry sweetie. It hurts. We were going straight into our next cycle but I was so ill with migraines and headaches when I stopped ivf I've not been able to do another cycle. If does all kinds of weird things to your body. Xxxxxxxx


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## mross (Jul 10, 2012)

Sara I'm so sad to read your signature, so sorry for your chemical pregnancy. Too cruel xxx


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## Grace2013 (Feb 5, 2013)

Hi all, 

Just had my egg collection on Wednesday and they managed to get only 4 eggs. Found out yesterday that none fertilised. Feel like a total failure and have been waking up crying in the middle of the night.

I just feel that life is so cruel and it happens for so many people so easily and why do we need to go through all this. 

I guess I need to get rid of my grief and even spoke about adoption to my DH.

Did anyone experience cramping after stopping cyclogest? Dosed up with paracetamol but still not helping as I am bleeding. Sry TMI.  

Grace x


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## jjackson (Oct 28, 2013)

Hi

I have been reading lots of fourms over the last couple of months, and found them very useful, and everyone is soo supportive. However I have been too scared to join any until now. 

We have just finished our 2nd ICSI Cycle with a BFN. We had 2 grade 1 embryos put back on day 2. We done our test on Friday just gone and it has really hit us both hard this time. 

On our first cycle back in April, I hadn't prepared, we hadn't done much research so I was eating the wrong things, doing the wrong things, very stressful time at my job, as a result we got 2 embryo grade 3s put back with a BFN. 


This time round I prepared as much as possible 3 months before, started acupuncture, which really helped, ready loads of forums and got very useful information regarding what to eat/drink and what to avoid. This all helped me in getting the best quality egg/embryos.  I think this is probably why is so much harder this time, as I was convinced I had done everything possible. But unfortunately it was left up to nature. 

We are now thinking of going for our next and probably last cycle the beginning of next year as this will now be private. We have no idea of costs.

I am also looking into the other options we have, adoption, surrogacy and haven't got a clue where to start.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you all


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## dillydolly (Mar 11, 2005)

Jjjackson
Maybe put some info on here so we can point you in a direction on threads to look at. Stuff like age, male/ female factor issues, AMH etc. Also what protocol and how many eggs you got etc.


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## FlyingCat (Jan 23, 2011)

JJackson,

Sorry you are in this position.

Have you had a review consultation with your consultant yet? Did they give any indication of where they feel the problem may lie? There are great hints of what questions to ask and what you might want to do next on this thread... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=261901.0

However in advance of that my humble suggestions of what you might want to think about are...

It sounds like you've got good eggs which have created good embryos (as far as current technology can see). Those things are the main things you can do things about yourself in terms of nutrition and supplements so sounds like you've done all the right things.

So that means one of a few things may be happening, (PS I'm not a doctor - I just google a lot so please take what I suggest with a big pinch of salt and check with more qualified folks before acting on any of it!)

- either those embryos are for some reason not implanting into you - this could be an immune issue or a hormonal issue (higher progesterone might help) or a physical issue (scarring? Fybroids or endometriosys in the uterus?). All of these things have next steps that a consultant can tell you about - be cautious however as a number of the possible things to help here are unproven and not without risk.

- or possibly the embryos are not as high quality as they looked. Remember even in people with no fertility issues a high proportion of embryos will fail to implant or miscarry in the first trimester. This can be attributed either to bad luck or genetic issues. While there are (shockingly expensive and potentially embryo damaging) tests for this, personally I'd want to rule out option 1 regarding implantation issues first.

I wish you good luck on your next steps but really everyone is so individual that I think talking to a consultant who knows your history should really be your next step - and I know how hard it can be to do this. In any case try not to blame yourself for your BFNs sounds like you did an amazing job at all the things within your control to get to 2 grade 1 embies - well done you and that bodes very well for the future.

Cassy


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