# Just beginning first questions...



## Rillischen (Jan 20, 2018)

Hi I am relatively new to all this (terminology and all) having gone through a long journey of soul searching. I have just turned 42, am based in the U.K. and am looking to conceive via sperm donation with the least intervention possible.

I have a few questions... apologies if naive.

I noticed a lot of people seem to travel to clinics abroad. Is there a reason for this?  

I also see a lot of people buying sperm from Cryos in Denmark? I wondered what the rationale is for this? Is it as safe as using say the London Sperm Bank? Do they only deliver to clinics in the UK or also to home addresses? If I travelled  to Denmark, would I need to be at a clinic there to use their sperm or would they send it to a Denmark home address for example.

I am looking to start with having some kind of basic health checks at a London clinic? Are there any recommendations? I keep reading that it is important to look at the age related stats but I can’t really make head or tails of them as they seem to refer to different procedures And I am not clear which ones I would be suitable for. 

I’m sure I will have many more questions but this is a start. 

Many thanks And best wishes X x x


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## Wilma17 (Nov 14, 2017)

Hello! I am in a similar position to you - but just a little further on. I've been on the same soul-searching journey and finally got brave enough to take the plunge last year (also aged 42, single and in London). I'm assuming you're single but apologies if I've got that wrong.

I went to the Lister in London because I have a couple of friends who have had treatment there, and as I understood it their statistics are good - I am also still learning all the terminology and trying to make sense of what it all means! Also it's convenient for me geographically. It's very busy and can have a conveyor belt feel in my experience. But they seem to get good results. The only thing I would say to be aware of there is that the way they are set up means you see different doctors depending on who's on duty. You can of course make an appointment to see your assigned consultant, but you may end up discussing options with someone else as you progress through the cycle. 

My first step was an appointment with one of the consultants there. They did an ultrasound scan to check my uterus and ovaries, and I then saw the doctor straight afterwards to discuss what that looked like (is uterus looking OK and a follicle count on my ovaries) and what my options were and which were most suitable. He talked me through IUI (more natural or with drugs) and IVF, and also suggested I had some blood tests to check my thyroid and AMH as well as CMV. In simple terms as I understand it, thyroid function gives an indication of menopause, AMH gives an indication of egg reserve, and if you're using a sperm donor they check whether you are CMV positive or negative as if you are negative you should choose a negative donor. CMV is a virus so positive means you have the antibodies.

Once you've had the scan and blood tests and discussed the results, you will have a better idea of which procedures will be suitable for you. 

The Lister also make you see a counsellor if you're using donor anything - they're useful to talk to about implications etc and also will point you towards some really useful resources. The donor conception network is definitely worth checking out - and they have a group for single women "thinkers and tryers" so some other people in the same boat. I haven't made it to a meet up yet but I plan to. And once you've seen a counsellor at the Lister (which is free) you can go and see them again any time (also free) - even 5 years later if you're struggling with what to tell a child.

I bought sperm in Denmark (buying donor sperm takes online dating to a whole new level!!!). I checked the clinics that the Lister work with/recommend just to keep it simple, and because that gave me confidence the screening would be at a good level. London sperm bank had hardly any choice for me (I was after blue eyes). I was having problems with my laptop and couldn't get onto the US one (so I took that as a sign). And the Danish one (European Sperm Bank) had several options. Part of me wanted to keep the choice limited as I overthink everything and I'm trying not to with this whole process. Without teaching you to suck eggs - it really helped me to remember I wasn't selecting a partner or a father, "just" some genes. The costs were quite different between the 3 also - so worth checking that out if this is a factor for you - it was for me. I don't know if they ship to home addresses I'm afraid, but they were very helpful so I'm sure if you call they'll be able to answer any questions.

I've just done my first cycle of IVF which was unsuccessful (but I learned a lot) - I have a very low egg reserve. But I'm going to try again with different drugs, sticking with the Lister for now.

Anyway wishing you all the luck in the world - and my only piece of advice having just tried it is to take someone with you for support. I'm pretty independent (as I'm sure you are to be considering this) and it has been such a rollercoaster. I really wish I'd taken someone with me - I definitely will next time. Also check some of the other threads on here - it's such a wealth of information and really helps you get your head around what it all means and how it all works when you're a complete novice...

Lots of luck and best wishes xx


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

Hi Rillischen
Lots of people travel abroad because IVF is generally cheaper and more successful abroad. 
If you want the least invasive procedure then intra uterine insemination IUI is the one to go for.  Depending on what choice your local clinic has you might need to ship sperm from abroad directly to your clinic.  For IUI you would need to check if your fallopian tubes are patent using a HSG or Hycosy.  I think you will quickly get lost with the abbreviations so probably best to book in for a fertility MOT at your local clinic and take it from there because depending on results it may be best just to go directly for IVF.
TCCx


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## Rillischen (Jan 20, 2018)

Thank you so much - I really appreciate you both taking the time to reply. I feel very reassured by all the information you shared and feel like I have a plan for a first step at least. Getting the Fertility MOT and then seeing what my options are. Best of luck to you both too x x x


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## Tinseltown (Jan 8, 2016)

Rillischen - Denmark has the biggest sperm bank in the world. That's probably why people tend to get sperm from there. Why such a small country seems to have more sperm donors than other countries though, I have no idea!


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