# Am i doing the right thing, need support. UPDATE



## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

Hi

I know nobody can tell me what to do and only i can decide this...

i have had one beautiful daughter who must be the best behaved baby n the world.

but the problem is this

i have 3 frosties and i had made the decision not to use them as after trying a FET in sept and finding out i have a hydro again ( fluid in my tube) i had to cancel the treatment.

I have had lots of surgery in the past so my body is not up to much and i have severe endo which makes me very tired and find it hard to cope with my daughter certain times of the month.

Tomorrow i have to ring care and tell them to defrost my embies and let them go. I think this is the right decision but i am having really big doubts

i am worrying that i may be making the wrong desicion. should i pay £200 and have them re frozen or just let them go ang move on.

I have been told by a psyhic and sort of family member that she can only see me with one child and if i have treatment all she can see is heartache, complecations and devastation. Now she would not say this willy nilly and did not really want to tell me but i made her.

oh i am so confused as my heart say keep them and my head says let them go.

any words that can help. please

sarah x


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## TwoBumps (Nov 22, 2007)

Oh hun, what a decision to have to make.  
You're right, only you can decide. But if you want other people's views (which I'm guessing you do), if it was me, I'd be tempted to pay the £200 to give me another year. 
Anything could happen in that time, you may become well again & feel able to try to have another go with them. Or you may find that in another 12 months you feel more comfortable with the decision to let them go. Either way, I think £200 is worth it to give you the opportunity to be happier with your decision. The fact that today is the day before you have to tell them & you're still not sure, would make me want to take some more time.
Good luck & congratulation on your beautiful little girl.
Lottie


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## Laura68 (Feb 28, 2008)

Hi Sarah

Sorry you have had such a hard time.  It's a big decision.  I don't have any personal experience, never lucky enough to get frosties, but I have a friend in the same position.  In the end, she paid for another year of storage, just to give herself time to think about saying goodbye to the embies.  If you can afford to do that, then it may give you that extra bit of time to get used to the idea.  

Good luck hon.

Laura


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

Thanks ladies

i am begining to feel that i should wait. but part of me just wants to get on with my life and enjoy my little girl

I think i will need to talk to DH again tonight.

Thank you so much for your thoughts i really do appreciate it lots. xxxxx

good luck with your journeys x


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

I just want to thank you wonderful ladies again

i have rang the clinic and told them to freeze them for another 2 years, what a refeif. i can really take my time now. 

lottie, i wish you all the best with your journey  

laura - good luck with everything.  

sarah xx


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## Laura68 (Feb 28, 2008)

Well done Sarah - I think you've made the right decision.  Even if you never use your frosties, you've at least taken the pressure off for now.  You don't seem ready to say goodbye, so now you've plenty of time to see what happens and it shouldn't stop you getting on with your life.  

In the meantime, you can relax, enjoy your little girl, and be as well as possible.

Laura x


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## TwoBumps (Nov 22, 2007)

I'm glad you've made a decision you're happy with & also agree that I think it was the right one to make.
You sound relieved already!
Good luck to you too & enjoy your lovely daughter.
Lottie x


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## Sammeee (Feb 21, 2009)

Lara... just read your post, dunno if you will read this now but just wanted to share....
I like you have had surgery in the past and and moving on to ivf have found a right hydro.... im getting it removed tomorrw and really am having serious not doubts just concerns i think... i have 3 boys 17,12, and a 2yo. I will deffo need IVF after the removal and keep asking myself why am i putting myself through this, and shoyuldnt i just be happy with my lot.
Also a Pyschic told me i had had my family and saw no more babies for me.... yeh well  that was baloney coz that was way b4 my 2yo was even a thought!!... So dont pay attention to that!!..

Its deffo a hard decision and made tougher by requiring more surgery etc!!.... Im going ahead with it because i want another child more than anything, a sibling for my 2yo without too much of an age gap.... my want is what is driving me ahead even though i keep thinking i must be crazy!!..

You did right thing with ur snowbabies.... give urself a bit more time yet!!.,...  on the hydros chicks thread there is lots of women with this and lots of help and advice!!...  come over and join!!...

Wishing you well!..
Sammee


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

Just an update

Well i tried to have another FET in july, 

i went for a scan to see if the fluid was in my tube in june and there was no fluid, great news, we though we would strike while the iron was hot and go for it in july.

So i started taking the viagra, asprin and progynova etc and guess what..... on day 12 there it was.... the fluid was in both tubes this time, so we decided i would have it drained to give us the best chance.....so all went well...................

That was until the next evening when i started getting pain, all night it went on, the next morning (this is the day beofre ET) i had bleeding from my back passage, raging temp headaches, shivers etc. so called clinic they said it sounded like an infection, to go to GP and they would ring him and tell him what he had to give me. The gp took one look at me and sent me straight to hospital. There i was on IV antibiotics for a week and sent home with oral antibiotics. So treatment cancelled again.......

Now i am still in the same situation as before. I really dont think i dare go through with anymore TX but i still have my 3 frosties.

I now feel like if i did not have them i would not ever go through Full IVF again, so why do i feel so bad about letting these frosties go.

I really want to be able to move on and enjoy my beautiful daughter but this is always at the back of my mind.

I feel like i am going crazy, should i let them go now and try and move on or should i wait till feb 2011 when they expire.

why is life so complicated.

Thanks for listening to me again xxxxx


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## strawbs (May 16, 2005)

sarah    , I wouldn't make any decisions just yet, you have just been through a big trauma.  I would re-ases how you feel in a few months and see how your health is.

There is no harm in waiting a while.

sending you hugs

strawbs xx


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## Laura68 (Feb 28, 2008)

Sahara

Sorry you've had such a nightmare.  I agree with Strawbs - don't make a decision now, as you must still be feeling the shock of being so ill.  Give yourself some time. 

If it's any consolation, my sister had to decide what to do with her embryos about 6 months ago.  In the end, after much soul searching, she decided to let them go.  Despite being lucky enough to have two kids now, she found the decision really hard, but once the decision was made, and they embies were gone, she felt a great sense of relief.  She said "They're not calling to me anymore".  

i guess that's something you may relate to.  Good luck, whatever you decide.

Laura


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## sahara (Feb 12, 2004)

Thanks ladies

i am going to leave my frosties there for as long as i can incase i change my mind, but for now i really think this is the end of the road. I am so happy and lucky to have little ellie.

Thanks for your support
sarah xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Hun (Jul 14, 2003)

Sarah
Just spotted this. So sorry you've had such a rotten few weeks. Sending you huge hugs  
Hun xx


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