# New and anxious… (and single!)



## MorningStar (Nov 20, 2012)

Hello- thanks for reading. I just posted this in the section for new people- but then thought this might be a good place to post too. Good to know there are other single women doing this. Anyway- I'd really welcome any advice ...

I'm single (41) and have a consultation booked in at CARE in Leicester to look at IVF options. My parents live in Leicester so it seemed a good idea. I'm now panicking though as I live in Worcester and I'm thinking I should go to Birmingham Womens Hospital. I could be close to home…it might be easier. If I change my mind I'll have to wait 5-6 weeks for a referral and appointment. I'm 41! This is horrible!
Any thoughts would be much appreciated, feeling very alone in this.
xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

hello and   
I can't help re Midlands clinics as I had my treatment in London - but I don't think you'd need to wait for a referral? Assuming you are going privately (which is really the only option as a single woman) then you can self refer? 
Perhaps a good idea to have consultations at both and see which one you feel most comfortable with?
Wishing you the very best of luck,
Suitcase
x


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Hi Morning Star, and welcome.   


I didn't cycle in the Midlands either but there was a question about Midland clinics only a month or so ago from someone else so it might be worth you checking back on the more recent threads for some feedback that was left.  Seem to remember that Elpida commented re BWH?  Just to reassure you - there are a lot of singles - either mums of donor conceived children or looking to be, who live in the Midlands.    I'm not sure if anyone is in Worcester specifically, but Aweese, Lou Ann, Elpida, CEM, Chowy and Some1 are all close by, so you're in very good company.  


Like Suity says, you can self refer rather than waiting on a referral, and you might find that after visiting both clinics, you get a good feel from one.


Good luck!


A-Mx


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## MorningStar (Nov 20, 2012)

Thanks for your replies - It feels so good to know theres others   xx


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## Elpida (Feb 11, 2008)

I cycled at BWH, priory bham and CARE Notts and would put CARE ahead of the others. I've had dealings with MFS in Aldridge that have been very good but not actually cycled with them. If time is of the essence then I would call all of them and check what their wait is for initial consultation and what time frame you might be looking at in terms of starting a cycle using donor sperm. Also ask what initial tests they are likely to suggest considering your age and what the cost and time implications would be for these. 

Feel free to PM me about the other clinics if you want more info. 

El x


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## mondaybaby (Oct 5, 2012)

I am at BWH and they have been ok so far. I got my GP to refer me and they told me it would be a 6-8 week wait for the 1st appointment but I got it through in 2 weeks and have started all the tests. My scans are next Tuesday, I have had a million blood tests (may be exaggerating a little there) and I am waiting for AF to book my x-ray thingy to check my tubes (I think, I am trying not to think about it all too much at the moment). My consultant appointment is in February which seems an age away but in terms of cycles I guess it's not actually that long. Good luck x


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## OneStepAtATime (Sep 14, 2008)

I had treatment at London Women's Clinic (3 unsuccessful IUIs - and although they were ok, I found them impersonal) and at MFS Aldridge where I was successful. I love MFS Aldridge - they have a great system of allocating you a specific nurse and so you usually get to see the same person at appointments. I found that very helpful. I'm biased given the outcomes, but I would definitely recommend them!

If I remember correctly I self-referred - no probs. 

BTW I'm West Midlands too. 
OneStep


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi there


Welcome


What i would say is that each clinic is very very different.  I have been to 3 clinics and know that if i had stayed at my first (nhs referal) then i would not be pregnant now   .  Personally i would go to the best clinic that you can afford, look into what they specialise in and what kind of treatment your be needing and make a dision based on that rather than how near the clinic is from your house.  Believe me i thought my first clinic was amazing and only moved cos i was hoping to do egg share else where (my clinic didnt do it).  My second clinic totallay amazed me they completely superseded the first clinic in every seance  Anyhow they found that i needed pgd so i had to move to the clinic that specialised in that so ended up at Guys Hosp and am finally 27 weeeks pregnant   .  I live in Somerset so getting to Guys in London was a huge worry, but when the time came it all just kind of slotted in and was def def worth it.


I wish that i had know how very different the clinics where when we started out. xx


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## MorningStar (Nov 20, 2012)

Thanks for your replies - tough decisions! Did you ever have a wobble about doing it alone when folk who are married tell you they'd never have done it alone knowing what they know?   Many people seem to think what I'm thinking of doing is insane!
xx


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Morningstar


Tbh its easy for married people (im married) to say they would never do it on their own!  The truth is that its probably a flippant comment because they (counting me), have never had to really think about!  Yes it is very hard and i dont know what i would have done without my dh support  But if i was single and wanted a baby then, im sure i would have found a way to cope!  If this is really what you want then your manage. xxxx


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## MorningStar (Nov 20, 2012)

Thanks coweyes


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Also as a single person you only need to consider yourself- you only need to take a look on the 'relationship' thread to see how ivf can put pressures on relationships, men withdrawing consent at egg collection, have affairs at least we have none of that xxx


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