# very confused, would love someones opinion



## sidsmissus (Dec 12, 2012)

Hi all  

Hope im posting in the right place, im a newbie  

i have borderline pcos, but have never really had trouble with my periods, always been roughly 28 days give or take a day either side, always really heavy for first 2 days and loads of cramping and then gradually settles for the remaining 3 or 4 days.

Now last month, well last period was 29th november, i was 4 days late, and it came and went within 2.5 days and was quite a bit lighter than normal   thats never happened to me before, also before AF came i was extremely tearful and had a lot of extra discharge (sorry tmi!!)

Me and my OH have been ttc for well over a year now so dont know if im just looking for things and hoping, i did take a cheapy HPT on 6/12 that came back negative but maybe wouldnt show yet, im so confused and insight would be greatly appreciated just to set my mind at rest  

many thanks in advance xx


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

hi hun, so sorry to hear you are having a hard time lately. im not sure if i can give any advice that would help, i dont have pcos, but i do know a little something about reading into every little symptom. i do it every month, every tiny little change im thinking ' could i be' 'could this be it' and build my hopes up and end up getting them crashed down around me. try not too look into everything though i know it is hard, you could always try another pregnancy test and accept that as a final answer, once you have your result you will know what to do. recently iv started a 'my cycle diary' and i write down everything, all the little details. dates and rough times for af ending and begining. every little symptom before af arrives, and all the little symptoms during the horrid 2ww. and iv found that alot of the things i had thought were unusual, i have experienced before and its slipped my mind, iv found it a great way to keep track of everything. 

can i just ask, you said you and your  other half have been trying for over a year now, have you been and seen your gp yet? love and baby dust for you xxxx


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## sidsmissus (Dec 12, 2012)

hiya thanks for replying  

no we havent been to the docs yet, thinking about making an appointment after xmas, although im pretty sure hes just gonna tell me to lose weight   ive got a bmi of 36 so he will have a field day i expect, its just extremely hard for me to lose weight  

i like idea of a cycle diary though, my memory is terrible so i think that would help me a lot


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## nellie271212 (Jun 2, 2010)

If you have borderline PCOS (like me!) I would suggest if you have an app phone to download "Ovulation Tracker" by Fireworks Solutions. Best news is its free! Its is also quite a simple concept as it records and calculate your period date, fertile period and ovulation dates. Works like a calendar app.


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

i have found the cycle diary idea really helpful for me, like you my memory is awful, so it really helps to remember everything, plus i take it along to the clinic when im going to see my specialist and show him anything im concerned about, also makes for a good place to write down any worries or questions or just general emotions.
i dont think people understand quite how emotion this can be for alot of women out there, so its good to get it all out, and on record as such. 

i would highly recommend going to see your gp, if they do feel its just your weight thats causing it, then you can also ask for a referral to a nutritionist, plus some people are eligible for free gym memberships, now im up in scotland so if your somewhere else in the world i dont know if they do it there, but its worth asking about.

but considering you have been ttc for over a year now, with a bit of luck your gp might refer you for tests, and if not there is no harm in asking  

i really hope you get the help with everything, and im always about if you need a chat or a moan or anything, it does help  xx


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## LisaJK (Oct 7, 2012)

Hiya

Just wanted to share something about BMI with you.  I've been TTC naturally for a year and a half and because of my age - I was 38 when I started, we went to my GP after 6 months.  My GP said nothing about my weight.  It wasn't until I was refused NHS funding did I realise that your BMI is pretty important.  I really wished my GP had given me a bit of a hard time back then, because now I'm battling against the clock - age vs time to lose weight.  All I can say is do everything you can now to lose weight - I know it's difficult, especially if you have PCOS, but your BMI could prove more of a challenge then you think.  Depending on where you live, you may be refused funding for treatment by the PCT and even some private clinics are reluctant to treat you with a BMI over 35.  I started out with a BMI of 37, and because no one said anything to me about it, because of stress, being upset etc, it went up to 38.  I've been fighting like mad since October to get it down - I'm now at 34, but my clinic have set me the challenge to get it to 32 before the end of Jan.  I know it's a sensitive issue, I know it's difficult, but I wanted to share, and really wish someone had with me a couple of years ago.  Good luck and positive vibes xx


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## Sarah1712 (Mar 6, 2011)

Hi, I also wanted to add about the BMI thing. I would say dont be reluctant to go to the GP and get referred to a fertility specialist. At least then you are in the system then. I had a bmi of 42 when we had our first tx and i really do believe amongst other things my weight contributed to the failure of the cycle.We then persued the NHS route where i need to have a bmi of 29.9 in my area. Anyway ive spent years and years saying how much i struggle with my weight and basically made constant excuses. So i decided the only way to get what i want which is ultimately a child of my own I needed to focus. I started to see a counsellor to talk through things not just about 'life' but about the role food plays in my life. I also joined slimming world and have lost nearly a stone and my bmi is 39 so i am pleased i am on the way. I do still have 3 1/2 to go and if im honest its all a lot of effort but the day i come home with a newborn is the day i will realise that it is all worth it. I started 2013 even going to the gym and believe me i HATE exercise but no pain no gain lol

Im not going to say to you think about your goal because over the last year thats all people have said to me and i have wanted to scream at them ITS NOT THAT BLUMIN EASY my advice to you would be to find a different motivation or set yourself mini goals. I downloaded the nhs bmi app to help me see my progress and believe me i have had weeks ive gained. In fact ive been doing slimming world for 6 months and am only nearly at a stone BUT i stay every week to group have met some lovely people and with the counselling things are finally slotting into place. 2013 IS going to be my year and i have accepted that some weeks will be harder than others. I set my goals at half a stone intervals. Unfortunately for me i am only 5ft 2 so im supposed to be much less porky than i am now   

I want to wish you lots and lots of luck and get the ball rolling with having you and your OH checked or referred to fertility specialist its always better to be in the know. The NHS is exhaustingly long winded so thats very important you explore

Sarah xxx


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## NordicStar (Dec 29, 2012)

Hiya!
I had the same thing happening to me last month. My cycles are always spot on, like yourself I also have PCOS but always had regular cycles and ovulation (I think). Last month I was 7 days late! And when it did come on it was very light and not like my usual 2 days of bedridden hell. Took 3 tests but nothing...still don't know what that was. Maybe the holiday season stress got to me. 
You should really try get your GP to refer you to a specialist...they will want to lower your BMI or you won't be eligable on the NHS tho. I was told with PCOS to cut out all carbs (easier said than done I know!) That's what Im trying at the moment...that and sugar and I bought myself a training bike. Luckily for me my BMI is fine but I still want to be as healthy as can be before I start IVF in a few months. 
Also, Clomid can do great things for women with PCOS. Even tho I ovulate on my own, I'm being put on clomid in March...
Best of luck!


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## General1 (Jan 2, 2013)

Hi All

I am in the same position as Sarah, LisaJK and Sidsmissus in so much as I have a high BMI and need to focus on losing weight.  Amongst other things at my first apt with the GP I will approach them about the weight issue - so see if I can start making some in-roads in that - its really not easy as most people who have tried to diet know - I've had motivation before and lost over three stone but some of this has crept back on....we must keep motivating each other on here!  I am hoping that the GP will give me the reality check I need tomorrow - sometimes I need to hear it from a third party to sort myself out!

Here's hoping we can keep encouraging each other, so that we are on a healthy path in pursuit of our dreams

Best of luck to all

X

P.s have GP apt tomorrow - any further info will let you know - also have started a thread - TTC and overweight?? and some good support on there aswell.

Thanks
XX


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