# Counselling



## josiejo (Mar 26, 2008)

Was just wondering if anyone has had any counselling from the clinic after negative cycles. Did you have to pay? Did it help you any?

I thought I was coping ok but the last couple of weeks have proved to be hard work with preganacy announcements. Also the ongoing uncertainty of when the 2nd NHS cycles will happen.  

I have just broke down on the phone to my mum just cause she told me she was knitting for my cousin who had just announced baby no.3 was on the way. None of my friends down this way understand as they are all younger and not even thought about getting married never mind starting a family and my best friend, the one who understands it all is going through exams and dealing with her sister in law having cancer so don't want to offload on her. I am feeling like I am going a bit loopy, well more than normal!

I think I will feel a lot better when I have a date to work to for another cycle but that just seems to get further and further away.

Any advice would be great


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## Ravan (Apr 4, 2008)

Hi I only have councilling when I was with bupa....but didnt have to pay.Why dont you give the clinic a ring and enquire.Its always good to talk to someone when your feeling low,and I'm sure they would be able to help,hopefully with no cost.


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## PixTrix (Aug 20, 2008)

Hi Josie,
like Raven said give the clinic a ring. Just talking things through can lift such a weight. It is tough having nobody around that you can talk to, but very often it is easier to talk to somebody that you are not close to - like a counsellor. I don't know if there will be a cost, but have a feeling that there wouldn't be because it is provided if wanted as part of the IVF process.

Are you able to make it to any of the meets? It really is a great place to have a good natter x


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Josie     

Sorry, I don't have any experience of the counselling offered but I'm sure talking things through can only help. I've found everyone here a great support since joining after our first failed cycle, before that we hadn't told anyone and it was too much pressure to keep just to the two of us. Like Pix says, the meets are really good and everyone is really friendly and welcoming. Hope you can get a plan soon, we're all here for you too xx


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

josie so sorry to hear things are difficult for you       

unable to help re counselling but as the girls said ring clinic.


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## trickynic (Nov 3, 2009)

Hi Josie - IVF Wales do provide counselling as part of their service, although I noticed that they don't advertise the fact too well. Give them a ring and hopefully they'll get you an appt ASAP. Best of luck


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## Jule (Oct 12, 2008)

I was offered counselling but never took it up.  Im sure it was free as they didnt mention any charge at the time.  Give the clinic a ring tom im sure they can let you know and hopefully book you in for an appt.  Really sorry you are feeling low, its such a  horrible time and IVF is so stressful.  Like one of the girls said we have meets monthly, are you able to make it to Bridgend.  They are a huge help and great support as we are all in the same situation.


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## josiejo (Mar 26, 2008)

Thank you everyone.

I was offered it after my last cycle but to be honest I don't know if it is really for me. I tried it after a good friend died and found it to be a waste of time for that so was really after others experience of the one at the clinic. 

I don't drive so getting to and from meets in Bridgend is a bit difficult but I do hope to make it to one at some point. If there is ever one in Cardiff centre or Newport I will be there in a shot.

I am trying to stay away from the site in order to try and switch off from tx but I do find myself lurking a lot.

Thank you again


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## Ravan (Apr 4, 2008)

josiejo Im in cardiff if you ever want to go to the meets.


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## julespenfold (Jan 10, 2010)

Hi Josie

I was offered the counselling on my last tx as aparently it is covered as part of your nhs treatment and free, Debbie said the lady is very nice. Didn't take up the offer and I'm not sure if there is a time limit.

Just wanted to say I know how you feel, I was fine for the first few weeks following my bfn in March but a pregnancy in the office followed by the delays on the 2nd cycle and a death of a close friend have really hit me for six and I was thinking of ringing the clinic too. I'll let you know how I get on.

I have found the meets fantastic and it really helps to have people to chat to that know where you are coming from. I live in Cwmbran but work in Bristol if you want to come let me know as I could pick you up on Route. We are also having a meet on a Saturday in June and a few of us from around here are car sharing so give me a shout or PM.

Jules x


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## SarahJaneH (Nov 21, 2009)

Josie , would be great if you can share a lift with one of the girls and come to the next meet   

Jules, sending you    too, sorry you are having a tough time


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## jk1 (Aug 26, 2009)

Josie, I know how you feel, I had my second BFN in January - everyone is different but I found the girls on here were reallysupportive and that was just what I needed, Like Jules i thought I had taken it quite well, until about a month later when I had a bad weekend.

I do think that part of the problem is not knowing when we can have our next cycle as at the moment it feels like we have no plan, I've thrown myself into trying to find out what is happening at the hospital to cause the delay and I've found that helps.

I'd give the clinic a call tomorrow and find out about the counselling - i've never had it but I think its worth trying and if you don't think its helping then you don't have to go back.

Jo xx


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## Sam76 (Mar 23, 2009)

Hi Josie

I've had counselling at the clinic and it's free. Marilyn the counsellor was very nice and I did find it useful. 
Have to be honest I've never been really sure about counselling but the chance to speak to someone that has no personal interest in your circumstances was good because you didn't have to think about how the person would react or interpret what you were saying. Even if it is a waste of time there's not really anything other than time to lose.

I used to think that once I'd got over the first hurdle of coming to terms with a failed cycle that everything would get slowly better but I'm finding that I'm still really struggling from time to time - especially with friends, family and colleagues on maternity leave and announcing pregnancies.  

Am considering going back for another session - trying to work out how much of my current 'low' is down to the drugs I'm on at the moment and how much is trying to keep a lid on my emotions.

If you decide to give it a go hope you find it of some use. xx

Sam x

I'm in Gwent and like Julespenfold said if you need a lift from that area to a Bridgend meet (or the one in Carmarthen on Saturday in June) just let us know - I went to first meet in April and thought it was fab xx Maybe a mini-meet in Gwent would be an idea? perhaps I'll post something on that thread and see if anyone would be interested? xx


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## josiejo (Mar 26, 2008)

Oh thank you so much all of you.

Jules, I am so sorry you are going through so much at the one time. I lost a close friend a few years ago and it ripped me in 2 but I promise you the pain does lessen. I know smile when I think of her and all the good times we had. Let me know if you do book an appointment.

Sam, did the counsellor say much or did they just get you to speak? It is the pregnancy announcements that I find the hardest too though I am a little concerned at the huge anger I get when I see, for example,  a heavily pregnant woman with a cigarette hanging out their mouth.

Maybe I just need to participate more on here, everyone is so very supportive of each other, maybe if there was a thread for those of us who are inbetween/waiting on treatment I would find it easier to join in. And I really do need to come to a meet but I am a bit stupidly shy, maybe a wee local Gwent one would be a great starting point for me. Thank you for the offers of a lift too, it really means a lot.

Jo, thank you loads for doing so much to find out what is happening with the 2nd cycle. Will see if dh will help me word an email over the weekend. I do find it disgusting that 5weeks after it was supposed to be implimented we are all still in the dark over what is happening. We saw JE just after the announcement and she didn't seem to think it would be a problem to have the cycle in May time so I know for sure it is management dragging their feet in hope they will be able to use the money elsewhere.

Thank you again


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## Queenie1 (Aug 21, 2008)

hi josie

my offer of a lift to the meets still stands as i work in newport. if its possible for someone in newport to give you a lift back would help me as i drive back to abergavenny. don't worry about being shy, you have met me so you have one face that you know.

good luck with the counselling hope they can help you.


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## jk1 (Aug 26, 2009)

Hi Josie,

I have found myself a new contact at the hospital and am waiting to hear back from her.  I will let everyone know when i have some news.  I've not been to the meets because I am quite shy too (and becasue of the hours I work!), if we both go to the first one together maybe we'd feel a little better as we will both be newbies!!

Jo xx


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## Sam76 (Mar 23, 2009)

Hi Josie, Jo and all   

The counselling session was a mixture of me speaking and the counsellor saying stuff too - i felt like the balance was good. I know what you mean about anger - and i also think that trying to keep it in can send you loopy (at least it does with me). When there's loads of pregnancy/baby talk in work sometimes i go into the ladies, shut the door and pull faces or make gestures (not really possible to scream and shout so i guess it's the best i can do) - but does make me feel a bit bonkers, sooo glad no-one can see me!

I think a thread for us in betweeners is a great idea. Part of the reason that I haven't been posting much is that i feel like I'm in limbo - a new home could be the answer  More than happy to have a mini meet in Gwent (even if it's a really mini-meet and one or two of us meeting up for coffee somewhere after work. I've only been to one meet but now that I know a few faces will be easier to go next time. I'll post something on the meet thread to see who's interested in a mini meet in Gwent and when and where would be best 

take care - and look forward to seeing you both posting on the 'meet' thread  xxx
Sam


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## Shellebell (Dec 31, 2004)

Here is the link to the gen chit chat thread for those not going thro cycle  
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226286.0


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## josiejo (Mar 26, 2008)

Queenie, thank you, I haven't forgotten your offer. It was trying to get hubby to pick me up that was the problem.

Jo, let me know how you get on.

Sam, thank you for the thread for Gwent mini meet, its a great idea.


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