# I'm new and loosing it



## zp

Hi folks,

I'm new to this site. I'm 33 and only been ttc for 14 months (feels like longer, why did I leave it so late, stupid ideas of career) -I admire all you who stay stong for such a long time, I feel like I'm losing it already. 
Went to our GP a few weeks ago and he has set up some tests. I'm quite nervous but I think my dh is worse (apparently he has to perform at the clinic). 

Anyhow, thanks to everyone on this web site I feel abit less alone amongst my baby dropping friends.

I did post this similar note somewhere else but can't find it so I hope I've been more techno savey this time
byeeee 
Zp


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## Jennifer

Hi zp

Sorry you are feeling dreadful at the moment   Believe me, all of us on here have had days like that !  

This site is the most amazing support network I have ever had and I have made some great friends here who understand.

Good Luck with your tests - I am sure your dh will be fine 

All the very best of luck in your journey

Jennifer xx


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## Smurfs

Hi ZP

Welcome to FF  

Good luck with your tests and sorry to hear you are feeling down at the moment.

I am sure you will find the support you need for the girls to make you feel a little stronger.

Take care love Shaz xxx


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## Kamac80

hi ZP and welcome to FF

I dont think it matters how long someone has been ttc its still upsetting when it doesnt happen. 

Everyone on here feels the same when they cant get pregnant and surrounded by friends and colleagues who are pregnant but i have found this site a huge support to me and i hope u do to

Kate


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## Stephanie K

Hi ZP,

I am sorry you are feeling down! Like the others have said we all feel the same on here at some time or another! 
I know I felt so scared and hopeless and cross with myself etc etc when we started out on this journey. 
My DH found the whole "performing" business a bit worrying too but he was fine!
I wish you loads of luck with all your tests and with any treatment if you need any! 

Lots of love 

Steph x


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## Jappa

Hi Zp

Welcome to ff where you will get lots of support and information.  It's quite natural to feel your losing it, personally happens to me on a daily basis when I get overwhelmed, this infertility thing is all consuming.  I'm 33 and didn't want children until two and a half years ago when I was in toys are us buying a board game and went through the baby section and came out crying that I wanted one!  Coming to terms with ttc and not getting pregnant has been really hard, especially when you are diagnosed.  But being able to come on here and share your feelings with other people who care and understand is just such a relief.  Goodluck with the test results.

Jappa xx


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## Kamac80

hi there steph see u are from Berkshire? Where abouts?

Kate


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## zp

Thanks everyone, it really is good to know someone else feels like me (although bad for you guys too) after lots of tears last night, I woke up determined to go a full day at work without any baby thoughts!
so obviously I'm looking at this site from my desk 

anyhow thanks again
Zp


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## cheesyb

Hiya

welcome on board. I have only been on for a few months after ttc for 3 years with the dreaded endo   

I have been a member of the endo board for years and the ladies here are just as supportive. I totally emphasize with how you feel, it is a wicked rollacoaster. I work full time too, so it does help not to think BABY BABY BABY all the time but its always there. We go for IVF in march and partner had to do performance test in a clinic last month   He didnt like it but just reminded him of what I have to do and have done  
Its not a competition not at all, but initially it is very hard to get your head around it all, I havent even started IVF yet, so I may be talking complete poo  

Anyway, good luck and I am sure you will get loads of warming support
love
cheesyb
xx


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## TessaF

Hi ZP

Welcome to the site!

If you look round the site you will see that there are loads of people from all different ages who have been TTC unsucessfully - i think we all have 'if onlys' that we ask ourselves - but htey probably have nothing to do with anything if you see what I mean?  Waiting to have tests done is the pits cos you imagine all sorts of things - try to keep  positive .  Can DH do his sample at home (mine did, it was a lot less stressful - he had to do his sample at the clinic for our IUI though and he said it wasn't as bad as he'd expected).

Take care

c


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## tweetie

hi zp welcome to ff.hope you are finding your way around ok.dont be too hard on yourself about the time thing and career.no one knows what will happen when they start trying for a family and you arent that old so you have time hunni to get your dream of a family.lol.xxx.i look forward to chatting with you soon hunni.goodluck with the tests i hope they get done real soon for you.xx


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## julyborn

I really don't know what to say but wanted to lend my support. 
I only joined this website today too and I too feel like I am losing it. 
I am also 33 (34 this year). 
I was told yesterday that I have to have IVF. I really wish you well and I hope you'll have good news soon.


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## zp

thanks julyborn

this site makes me feel like the world isn't such a big scarry fertile one after all

Zp


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## Griselda

I have found the waiting around for appts and tests the worst.  Especially with the old clock ticking down to 40.  I agree re the stupid career!  But still I don't think I was really mature enough or settled enough until now.  However, because I was 38 when we decided to start trying we lied to the GP said we'd been trying for years so they would test us just to make sure there weren't any nasty problems lurking that we'd find out too late about.  Good decision really as hubbie had mumps and it was hopeless!  The time we could have waisted ...

I cried for a whole day after we were told.  But then put the grieving behind me.  

I have found the best thing really is to keep busy and to try to have fun.  That stupid career is a real blessing which keeps me occupied and upbeat.  I've told my friends I don't want to talk about it and that the best thing they can do to support me is take my mind of it.  So lots of laughter and dinner parties!  It really really helps.  I mean it's bad enough that its happening to us without making ourselves really depressed by harping on about it the whole time!  Anyway, nobody else really understands unless you're going through it too.  This site is brilliant.

Chin up.  What will be will be.  You just have to ride the journey the best way you can.  And keep smiling, achieving and having as much fun as possible along the way.

Good luck  

Catharine


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## julyborn

Catherine, great words of advice. 
I too have to stop the friends/family being to over-caring (does that make sense!) as it just makes me want to burst into tears all the time. Only ten mins ago I had to leave my desk (at work in a packed office) and rush to loo to have a cry. I feel so stupid. Some of he girls here know and bought me flowers today so that set me off! 

Here's to lots of laughter and dinner parties!! Think I need to have a glass of wine when I get home!


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## PoPs.

Hi zp  

Welcome to fertility friends we are a great bunch and will give you all the support you need on your fertility journey  

The waiting between appointments is the worse, but stay strong, keep busy and have fun!

You should come join us Yorkshire Girls, we are a lovely bunch and a great laugh! You will find us under meeting places......there is always one of us to talk to and we are all meeting up soon!

Looking forward to getting to know you, spk soon

Love PoPs xx


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## zp

Thanks for the advice catherine I havn't told anyone that we have even been trying, which in someways makes it easier. I don't think I could bear the sympathy vote and I'd hate for people to treat me differently.
I'm thinking of applying for a better position which I've been holding off from "just in case" for over a year now, maybe I should just go for it.

And July-born I had to leave the office in tears yeasterday after sneekily reading this site  , I went home and drank red wine - lovely, hope you have a nice evening

Zp


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## Kamac80

hi julyborn and catherine and welcome to ff

I hope u find this site of some help - its been a godsend to me and ive had a lot of fun on here that takes my mind off the real world for a while!

Julyborn - i too at the moment am running off crying at work and anything will set me off! So u are not alone hun  

Kate xx


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## Griselda

Yes I've been a bit selective about which friends I've told.  In the beginning, we were in so much shock that I think I was blurting it out a bit too quickly (trying to come to terms with it all) and have told some people I now regret having done so.  The problem is that if you tell friends they then feel that they have to ask you about it when you talk else they're not being caring or being a good friend.  And sometimes you just don't want to be asked!  Y'know just when you were bumbling along quite happily, someone came and reminded you!  

Also, I found friends who have had children in the blink of an eye much less well placed to be kind than friends who are still childless and/or single.

But we should look at the positives too.  There are much worse things in live than this.  For instance, we must all be in a place now where we have found security, stability and a loving relationship.  We are not lonely, destitute or terminally ill.

We have friends who's child bearing years are nearly done and they are still single.  And what about poor Kylie Minogue, not only is she facing potential fertility problems but she's battling for her life too.

I look around my life and send thanks every day that my DH is here and has made me so happy.  I send thanks that we are healthy, that we both love our jobs, that we have a beautiful home, that we have lovely dear friends and a fantastic family.  We are truly very blessed.

I also think about how much more we will appreciate our children if we're lucky enough to get there.  And I think about how I can use the energy and love I want to give a child to help others in other ways.  

Really looking forward to sharing all our adventures on this journey!

Stay poz  

Catharine


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## Griselda

julyborn - on a lighter note - are you a Cancerian then?  I'm Pisces.  That means we should really get on!

zp - absolutely love your photo!  You've inspired me to put mine up too.  But I haven't got any others with me at work other than this rather gooey wedding shot!  I'm going to have a route around at home and see if I can find something a bit more uplifting!

Where did you guys enter your area on your profile to get it to come up under you piccies?

Luv

Catharine


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## julyborn

Catherine -  
I love your honesty. When you talked about friends who have kids "in the blink of an eye" it bought a smile to my face. And your list of positives is something I'll keep referring back to. My Mum had breast cancer and was given the all clear last year - and she really is an inspiration and she was so brave and dignified throughout the 2 years of treatment/ops. She was also incredicly positive and I truly beleive this was one of the things that got her through her ordeal and out the other side with a smile on her face. If my Mum can manage that - then I can do this!!  ps - love your "cheesy pic" and thought about using my wedding pic too as it makes me feel good! and yes I am a cancerian - how did you know?!!

Kate - 
I wonder how many minutes we'll clock up in the loo at work in total!! 
also you seem quite clued up on this website!! what are "bubbles"?

zp - 
I got married in May and since that day I am constanly asked "when you 2 going to have kids then?". Then my sister had her 2nd child in Sept and again I got the "when you going to have kids?". So I made a decision to tell a select few. Obviously, Mum and sister know and a couple of girls at work who are there for me when I need a 'moment' at work! true freinds will not treat you  differently. I have instructed my lot to not ask me and they have all agreed. Of course they are there if I need to talk. Meanwhile, I think you should go for the job!! I have tried to stop thinking "just in case" and am living each day as it comes. 
Last night the DH made me a lovely meal, I had a few glasses of red wine too - and I hope you did!  
ps -And I too love your pic!


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## Griselda

Your logon 'julyborn' kind of gave me a clue!

People will ease up on the 'when you gonna have kids thing'.  Its something they seem to ask shortly after a wedding but then are a little more sensitive when none have appeared a bit down the line.

Yup you certainly need a good friend or two at work with this one.

Oh and Kamac80 many thanks for the kind welcome.

Gosh it seems I've done nothing much at work but poodle around this site for the past few days.  Best sign off and get busy or else I might suddenly find myself without the brilliant career anymore and what will pay for the IVF then !!  Eek!  

Luv
Catharine


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## julyborn

see - my head is all over the place Catherine! 

doh!

at least that made me laugh!!


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## Kamac80

hi again julyborn!!! Well bubbles are nice things - u can blow them to someone who has been kind to u - thats if u have some - think u have 5 there so im going to be kind and blow u some (i have never done this yet so u are the first  )

I think u get bubbles the more posts u do or something!! I get bubbles as i go into the chat room on a tuesday nite and play the quiz - u should try it as it takes my mind off the real world for a while and gives me a much needed laugh!! 

Hi Catherine glad we have made u feel welcome - this is like my second home now!!!

Kate xxxx


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## julyborn

Kate,
thank you for sharing your bubbles!
all very strange this bubble stuff....


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## Kamac80

tell me about it!!

Its just some fun for everyone!!  

Kate


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## Griselda

well I've only got two bubbles  

talking about work, when we first got DH's wiggly samples, I went mad and spent the whole day on the internet researching sperm and printing things off.  Unfortunately, someone not in the know got to the printer before me and the look on their face when they started to check through for their stuff was a picture.  A bit like this emotican    I couldn't bear to go collect it after that in case they saw me and had to talk one of my work buddies into getting it for me  

julyborn, have you got an appt for your IVF yet?  do you know where it's going to be at?

Catharine


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## saphy75

Catharine said:


> well I've only got two bubbles


Not any more Catharine, now you got lots of bubbles 

pam xx


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## Griselda

Hey cool!  Thanks Pam


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## julyborn

Hi Catherine,
I go back to the hospital (BARTS) on 4th April.
We had our first appt on tues 31st Jan when it was confirmed that IVF was our route.
I have to have lots of blood tests and then on the 4th we'll get our 'plan of action' - eek!
But I've already had 2 years worth of tests/scans/laproscapy/lazer treatment etc...
When do you start?
ps - I am jealous of all your bubbles (but still not really sure of why they are there!!)


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## zp

Hello again

I've been very good today and havn't looked at the site since 9.15am....and now 10 mins till I leave and there are loads of messages 

So I'll try and push dh off the computer at home (I'm an i-pod widdow) have no idea what he does up there all night......

speak later

Zp


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## julyborn

hey zp,

we've been going bubble blowing mad!

I have just worked out how to do it and have blown you some!! (and you too Catherine and Kate !)

I feel like I have a FF little gang already!

I'm off home now. chat tomorrow!! xxx


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## zp

All fed and watered, boy watching TV girl on computer what a change 

Catharine you are so right, there is  alot to be happy about  , my husband is just the best lots of cuddles and he makes me laugh at my self lots.  I like your wedding photo it looks romantic, where is it? and your printer story made me laugh. I'm paranoid about screen switching when looking at "sensitive" sites. I need one of those computer mirrors.

Julyborn, we got married 3 years ago and then people kept going on about getting children etc, luckly we wern't trying then it would kill me now, hang in there petal, they'll get bored and move onto something else. I think by the time we were actually trying lots of people had given up on us (ie my mum and dad!).

I got a shock last week when my terminally single male friend told me he had slept with  girl he'd been seeing for a few months after a party and made her pg . She even took the morning after pill but it didn't work . That was a tough one to stay positive with he wanted advice- its almost funny, no it is funny. 

And I rekon a good 15mins crying in the loo is quite respectable and no more than the smokers have outside  

have sent you all bubbles whatever they are

Quite busy tomorrow morning but will log in pm

eastenders is starting so byeeeeeeee
Zp


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## Kamac80

hi julyborn and zp

i love reading your posts they make me smile  

I now wish i hadnt told anyone that we had been trying and were having tests as all i get now is either - when will u have kids or - u dont want kids yet u are so young etc etc!!!

Now if anyone who doesnt know our situation says to me oh so u have been married over a yr now - it will be children soon I tell them quite bluntly.....me and my hubby cant have children for medical reasons!

That usually shuts them up!!! And in my line of work i meet so many ppl that i get that question all the time!!

Take care

Kate xx


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## julyborn

Hello,
how is everyone today? 
feel I am having a better day today. I suppose they'll be good and bad days. 
DH is off on a skiing trip tomorrow so not looking forward to the weekend without him.  but I am glad that he'll have a nice time and will take his mind off of everything. He's feeling it too! However, time alone for me means time to think and that's when it all gets too much. I'd usually rush to my best friend but she is due to give birth on 22nd Feb and although she is trying to be supportive I just can't bear being around her. That sounds awful doesn't it. She's been told she needs to have a caeserean and she feels its the end of the world. I understand she is worried but I feel like screaming "at least your having a baby!!". 
And then I feel bad for thinking like that cause its not her fault. 
Oh DH's dear Mother often likes to tell me not to worry as it took her 4 years to conceive when she first ttc. 
However, she was 18 at the time and went on to have has 6 kids before she was my age!!!  
god, I feel like I'm having a right old moan today - but its helping!!


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## zp

hello catherine, kate, and july-born and any other broody ladies out there this afternoon

Its friday so I think I'm feeling better today (so far!) .

Julyborn, I think it must be normal to feel that way about your best friend, I feel the same. Although I find that thinking about visiting friends with babies is harder than actually doing it, especially once the child is older (2 or 3)- when I get there the wee one is so much fun that I sort of forget - its not the child but the parents going on about it that I find hard! Not that I don't usually have a cry on the way home, DH is usually ready with the tissues.  

Have you all found the extra emotioncons? click the more button there are some great ones 

 


Kate I like your bluntness I'm not sure I'm that brave but will consider trying out your reply to nosey people. 

time for lunch me thinks

later Zp


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## Griselda

Hey yes we have got a nice little gang going haven't we.  Sending bubbles to everyone!  

Ooh yes people's questions.  Well for the ones who aren't 'in the know' I just go with "yes we're trying" or "oh we haven't really been trying" (depending on how I'm feeling at the time) both of which are true and then change the subject real quick by asking them about them.  Always does the trick.  

But I found the same as you zp, we got married 2.5 years ago and most people have given up asking now!  So julyborn hang in there!  

For the ones that are 'in the know', when they ask how its going, I go with 'Yup still waiting' and then do the changing the subject thing again.  They've already been briefed about not asking me etc anyway and quickly pick up the hint!

Ha Ha Kate I lurve your response.  I've thought of going with that one too cos u're right it certainly shuts people up!  But I think it may embarass them too.  I also thought of giving some wild response like 'well actually I was born a man' or the like!  

julyborn that must be tough (re friend about to pop).  It is tough, I find sometimes other peoples babies can cut like a knife but other times some peoples children can put you off too.  Like the ones that career around being badly behaved can make you question if u're really pursuing the right path!!  The 'babies in a blink of an eye' friends have no idea either.  

One of mine who has a honeymoon baby and when I chose to confide (perhaps mistakenly) actually said 'oh yes i know how you feel.  we were really worried too.'  I mean PLEEEEASE !!!!  (Um do I sound bitter at all?!)   

Re my appt:  We were referred to Kings on NHS but problems with PCT funding and waiting lists meant I'd be 40 by the time I'd be seen!  So I researched and found the ARGC which seem to have the best success rates.  Am off there in 2 weeks (eek)! 

Have great weekends people.

Luv

Catharine


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## Griselda

Oops sorry, zp, forgot to say we got married in Broadstairs, Kent.  The photo is on the balcony at my Mum and Dad's place there.

Must go off and explore the emoticons now .... 

Luv
Catharine


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## julyborn

i found the new emotioncons! 


thanks ladies for all the advice on how to deal with the dreaded "when you going to have kids?"  question.

I was once at a party and had been asked so many times that by the time I was asked by a really lovely, sweet, and totally interested girl called Leanne, i did the "we can't have kids" line. 
God did I feel awful though. 
Her eyes filled up and she got all upset for me! 
I ended up having to convince HER it was alright!! 
Mind you she had not long given birth and I think her hormones were still all over the place. So I'm a bit scared to do that again!

I noticed that on this website that some people have put a gallery of pics on. 
I want to learn how to do that so I can show you all the  DH! any tips anyone?

Catherine good luck for your appt in 2 weeks. Hope all goes well.
I won't have any more news to report until 4th April.

I'm so glad its Friday. I think it's given me a lift.


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## DizziSquirrel

Welcome to FF ZP 

WOW - you've made loads of new friends already! I am glad you have found support here 
just wanted to say hi and ask .... Have you been into Chat yet?

Come in and say hello - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,47639.0.html

~Dizzi~


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## zp

yippppeeeee its the weekend

Thanks to you all for a good chat this week i feel like I have a new group of friends already, hope you have a good weekend - try to stay out of mothercare! try lush instead - I like the honey soap

Born a man now there is a line I'd love to use, it certainly would shut people up 



Zp


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## Kamac80

hello ladies - hope u are enjoying your friday afternoon!

I have got some new lines from u guys to try now when i get the dreaded question! Have used the one - well its not like we havnt been trying!

Am looking forward to the weekend as going to a charity police ball so get to dress all nice and ive had my hair done today so feel special!!!

Speak soon

Kate xx


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## julyborn

glad you are feeling special today Kate.
Enjoy your night out!


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## Kamac80

will do hun - hope u have a nice weekend to

Kate xx


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## Griselda

Good morning lovely ladies.      Hope you all had nice weekends.

Monday - urg !  

I went on Hen Night on Saturday and found a new FF recruit.  There are just so many of us about!    This is someone who had made no secret of wanting kids (just like hubbie and I did) but none so far have been forthcoming.  So I got her on her own, braved it out and we had a lovely chat.    Then we got blind drunk    and did lots of silly dancing.  Yippee!     I even got a bit of eye contact from some youngsters.  (See 39 and still got it !!  Ha ha.  Well maybe it was just the comedy value of watching an old heffer like me shaking her thang rather than my devastating animal magnetism that attracted their attention!  But - ah well - who cares!).  

How are you doing?  Hope your Monday is not too gruelling.

Am loving these other emoticons!  

Luv

Catharine


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## zp

Good morning, , how you feeling today?

my monday is Ok so far - one of the guys at work his wife had baby over weekend and there are photos going round (very cute), but so far no tears from me. I had 2 peices of cake in celebration . (of baby or no tears?)

As for my weekend, met up with my mum and dad on sunday, and had nice pub lunch. 
****** off when good friend had to hang up phone due to child wanting story read (how selfish am i).
And booked lovely holiday to malta for march - yippeeeee

Glad you had a good weekend catharine - hope your new pal finds us soon.



I had a go in the chat room on sunday night, it was quite good but a little confusing with different conversations going on (loved the noises you can make - even better than emotiocons). I can't get on from work it seems they have blocked that type of thing, probably very wise or I'd do nothing! Anyone else give it a try? 

how was the ball kate?

later girls

Zp


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## julyborn

Morning all,

My weekend was nice.  

DH is off skiing with his brother so I went to the pictures to see Brokeback Mountain (loved it) with my friend Kerry. 
We then went back to mine and got very drunk and silly and danced around the living room to some 80's classics!
Kerry was an absolute tonic for me! (She's been pregnant 4 times but no baby - but that's whole other story) She has such a wonderful sunny outlook on life and she gave me such a boost. 

zp - so glad that you have a holiday booked. That's a nice thing to look forward to. I've never been to Malta but it looks LOVELY! 

Catherine - How mad that you found a FF member this weekend !! and getting drunk and dancing is great isn't it!   
Kate - I hope you did this too at your ball!!!!

I had a blood test today. The first time I have EVER had one on my own. I know that sounds ridiculous seeing as I'm 34 this year but I have had a major fear of needles since I was a kid. So today I decided to put my positive thinking into action.
I did not cry. AND I did not faint (which I do sometimes!!). So I have come away feeling all proud of myself! 
I just thought that I've got a lot worse to come so I'd better get used to it and toughen up! So its a big step for me.
My Dad couldn't believe it (yeh I know I took my Dad but he waited outside!!)

AND, today i told my boss. 
He was brilliant. Said I could take as much time off as I need and fully supportive as he's had a close friend go through it too.

So all in all, a positive start to the week me thinks.


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## zp

julyborn,

well done on the blood test and such good news about your boss (that will make a massive difference).

very proud of you keep    

when do you get blood test results?

love    zp


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## Griselda

Cool well done julyborn on the blood test and telling the boss.  

I'm a bit the same with needles.  I generally act like a real wuss and also go into massive cold sweat (have to make sure I'm pretty generous with the old anti-perspirant on blood test days!)  But have had so many tests now I'm getting much better.  You wait and see by the end of this journey we'll probably be incredibly nonchalant about it.  We'll be like:-  "Yeah? Needle? What only one?  Isn't there a bigger one?"    

My boss was brilliant too.  He was a bit worried with all the appts.  He thought I might have some terrible terminal disease or something.  So was quite relieved when I told him we'd found out we couldn't have kids.  I don't think I'm going to tell him that we're doing the IVF though.  I think I'm going to go with the "oh just more tests" line for the appts.

Read somewhere on this site that you should really take it easy on the 2ww and that some use the excuse that they are in 'post operative' recovery to get the time off work.

Yeah, Kate, do tell, how was the Ball?  Did you have a posh frock?  What was it like?  

Luv

Catharine


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## Griselda

Ooh and zp well done on the no tears.  That a girl !


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## Louise-O

Hi, I'm brand new too but quickly becoming addicted.  I've learnt so much already from the message boards!

We always knew we would need help so went to our GP 3 months after getting married.  Just waiting for the results of the initial blood tests and scan before getting an appointment with the consultant.  All going smoothly so far, managing to keep a sense of humour!

Cheers, Louise


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## zp

Hi louise

welcome, glad you are finding some help here - I am and am also addicted (have you tried live chat yet?) glad you are feeling  

We are at the same point as you, just after inital tests no results yet! dh has to wait 8 weeks for appointment for sperm tests (flippin NHS) so mid march till we know anything.. the wait is killing me. still another chance to ttc naturally   ?

update on tears - just a few in the loo (does that count?) and to add insult to injury the cake has ran out  

where is kate?? too much  on friday? 

hey its gone 5

love Zp


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## julyborn

yo ladies,

thanks for bigging me up on the blood tests! I feel like a big kid . 
yeh - bring on the big needles !!! (ooh maybe getting a bit carried away!! ) he he

zp - I get the blood test results on 4th April I guess (at next hosp appt) and yes, well done on no tears in the office!
I actually haven't had to do a mad dash visit the loo for a couple of days, how about you? 

Catherine - like the 'post operative' advice. Think I'll use that one. Save me annual leave days!!

Kate - we're eagerly waiting on news of the ball!! you doing ok?

and Welcome Louise!


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## zp

I just looked at profile info and you can nominate people to be your budies (no idea what it means) but anyone mind if I input your names and we see what happens?

Zp


----------



## zp

just put you in julyborn
no excitment, just lets me see if you are online or not
never mind it was worth a try  
Zp


----------



## julyborn

oh is that all !! 
I got all excited!!
he he

I see you are online now!


----------



## zp

anyway off home now

byeeeeeee
Zp


----------



## julyborn

me too!
off to pilates!
byeeeeee


----------



## Louise-O

Hi Zp & Julyborn

Just back from bringing the dog for a run, I've spent so much time browsing this site today she was really crossing her legs!

Hopefully you won't have to wait too long - 8 weeks sounds like a long time but try not to think about it and it will go quicker.

Have ventured into online chat but got tongue-tied (or the keyboard equivalent).

Will add you to my buddies list - would be good to keep in touch with someone who's at the same stage as us.

"Working from home" this week (i.e. boss on holiday) so now logging off and starting the long commute from the second bedroom to the kitchen...

Cheers, Louise


----------



## Kamac80

hey girlies 

So sorry i havnt been on today i was working till 1pm then hubby dragged me to Asda and then to Comet where we bought a new toaster!! Then we had to rearrange the kitchen and now ive shoved him out the door to go and play pool in the local pub league!!!

Anyway.............i guess u want to know about the weekend!?!!! Yes i did have too much  and done too much  and there was lots of drunk  including my hubby who wore his kilt - he got annoyed with some girlies who kept trying to lift his kilt up to see if he was a true scotsman!! And he is by the way!!! 

I wore my lovely ball gown (bargin off ebay!!) and my mum done my hair up all nice so when i get the film developed i will put the pic on my file!!

So for once i got very drunk and the food was lovely! The band was fantastic! Anything else u want to know i will tell u....maybe!!!!

*Catherine* - glad u had a good time on the hen nite and glad to hear u can still attract the lads!! My frock was a burgundy colour and it was gorgeous!!! Also dont worry that u are scared with needles - i take blood of ppl but i am also a wuss when i have to have blood tests!!

*zp* - glad u didnt have any tears with the new baby at work - dont know if u feel the same as me but i get more upset seeing my mates or someone pregnant than actually going to see a baby?!!!! Am i mad!!

*Julyborn* - glad u got through your blood test ok - i think its the worse thing to go through apart from childbirth - i think?!!!!

Anyway speak soon

Kate xx


----------



## zp

Good morning

Kate, glad you had a good time - looking forward to the photos. I get sad with pg ladies and tiny babies but seem better with older children, and sometimes I think we must all be a bit mad .

lousie, you lucky one I love "working from home", so much more relaxing. I usually do do some work but without distraction usually manage to do a days work in a couple of hrs.

I have added you all to my budies so will keep an eye on whos online when. 
Hope you all have a good day today,

love Zp

[flash=200,200][/flash]


----------



## zp

hello louise I see you are online!!!!
what a new toy this is

  
Zp


----------



## Griselda

Hey Louise welcome to our merry little band!  I'm addicted too and not getting much work done at all - eek.

Tell me about the NHS!  We had to wait from June until October for hubbie get his urology appt.  They changed it 3 times and we still got in on the wrong afternoon amongst all the poor old gentlemen with prostrate cancer.  Then all the urologist did was make poor hubbie drops his pants and concluded that we would need IVF.  Fantastic!  (That was meant ironically but I'm not sure what emotican expresses that maybe this one do you think?   )

I'm going to go and add you all to my buddies list too now.

Gosh my appt is less than two weeks away now.  I have been so anxious about everything so far.  Even sending forms off my hands shake and I can't write the address properly so Hubbie has to do it.  But now I think I'm getting excited.  

Or, actually, checking the internal emoteominator, I'm not really sure exactly how I feel, sort of:  Eeek Oooh Aaah Eeek ! 

Kate - looking forward to the piccies. 

Luv

Catharine


----------



## Griselda

julyborn - how good of you to go off to pilates.  I was a huge pig last night.  Made a chilli con carne which involved opening a bottle of red wine to add as an ingredient (of course  ).  I then ended up polishing off most of the bottle (of course  ) together with several bowls of con carne, followed by half a family sized bar of chocolate.  And not content with that pig out, I then went on and had two bread rolls with chocolate spread.  I feel like a BALLOON today!  

Tonight I AM going to the gym.  

I have about 6 weeks until my treatment starts (as the ARGC do a monitored cycle first).  And I must go on a diet and exercise regime so that I am in pique (ish) form.  I will be a honed baby incubating machine.  I will. I will.  I WILL !


----------



## julyborn

Hellllllooooo ladies,

Glad to hear that you are all feeling ok today. 

Kate - glad you had fun at the poilcemans ball. Sounds like a good old 'posh do'. Can't think of the last time I went to a nice fancy pants party where I could wear a big dress. Actually - it was my own wedding last year in May! 

Catherine - don't be fooled by my "I went to Pilates, aren't I brilliant" line!!  I only started doing it 4 weeks ago and its the first form of regular excerise that I have ever signed up to do! I hate the gym. But I thought it was about time I did something to get prepared (?!!) and decided Pilates was a nice (and not too hard) option! Especially loving the 5 minutes 'relaxing' time at the end where we basically just lay on the floor in the dark doing nothing.  Believe me, a chile and a nice glass of red sounds much more up my street!

zp - have you found anymore anymore tips or gadgets on the site? you seem to be getting quite a whizz! I've added you onto my "buddies" list too. 

Louise - sorry love, I'm catching up with your news - what results are you waiting for?


----------



## Griselda

Oh zp I'm so jealous about your holiday in Malta.  

It seems we've had to put so much on hold since we started this journey.  For instance we both booked a week off for my birthday to go to Dubai and buy me a Rolex  (cos apparently they're cheaper out there) but hubbie decided we should save the pennies for IVF.    Also, we had planned to do a month tour of Australia in April/May this year.  The time is all booked off at work but what with the treatment now starting, I don't know if we'll be able to go after all.    Dilema is that this is not the sort of trip that I imagine will be easy to do with kids.  But Australia will always be there but my eggs won't!  

Other thing I've put on hold is Botox.  Yes yes laugh away!      I had the old botox injections when we got married and they were brilliant but I decided it was best not to put a poison into your body when you're trying for a baby so stopped it.  And MAN you should see the state of my wrinkles now!    

Anyway, that's my little moan for the day.  

julyborn you last post made me chuckle lots !!  Fantastic!


----------



## julyborn

You've come to the right place to have "moan" (albeit a very small one!!)
and I know how that dilemma feels Catherine! 
Its horrible not being able to plan trips/holidays/treats etc...

The DH and I have been very lucky over the 10 years we've been together, jetting off whereever the mood takes us etc...
But at the moment we can't do anything til we have dates from the hospital  

AND I've been asked to go to New York in May for a friends 30th (can't go cause of IVF) , a freinds wedding in Italy (can't go cause IVF) , Dubai in Dec for my brother in laws 40th (can't go cause IVF or fingers crossed with bun in oven) .

However, DH might be off for business trip to Dubai in April and I'm hoping it does not clash with anything so I can sneak a cheeky flight over to visit him before treatment starts!!   

The way I see it is that I've been really lucky to travel as much as I have so far (without kids and fancy free).
There will be trips again. 
Hopefully some fab family trips in the future. 

As you say.... Austalia will always be there.

And I'm sure you look lovely even without botox   
just think of the lovely stretch marks that we might get to go with our wrinkles!!


----------



## zp

ohhh sorry to cause such alot of rants -   I wish I could take you all with me, we would have lots of fun.

Feel free to moan away as much as you like, infact it was after being on this site that I decided to stuff everything and book a week off away, last 2 years I didn't want to book anything incase of being pg (always this incase of thing   living from one month to the next). We too love to travel and went to Peru trekking just before we started ttc and I remember how optimistic I came back, looking at baby gear etc - seems like a long time ago.


Wishing you both lots of family holidays soon, camping in wales, picnics in the car in the rain, paddling in the sea. Mad but I wish for this soooooo much, you can keep exotic holidays in exchange for a baby. 

love Zp


----------



## Karena

Hello

I'm new to FF.  I know how you feel Zp, it's so depressing not been able to conceive when you want to and your life does feel like it's "on hold" all the time.  I'm 37 and my husband is 28 and we've been TTC for 18 months now.  I've had blood tests and a hycosy and DH has been tested and we are both fine, we fall into the "unexplained category" apparently.  We are on the waiting list for IUI which we hope will be sometime in the Summer but we are really hoping it will happen naturally in the meantime!  I've loved reading this site and all your messages so I thought I'd brave it and put a post on here myself (well hopefully it will come out ok)!  Not sure how to use the smiley's etc, might need some help...

Karena x


----------



## Griselda

Hey thanks guys.  You made me feel much better.  

We've been together 10 years too but haven't done lots of trips because for most of that time I've been studying for a degree aswell as working full time so most of my spare time was taken up with studying.  

It seems I spent the majority of my 20s just dossing about and then have been racing to catch up ever since!  With regards to career, education, marriage, babies, etc !  

But we did go to Milan for just one night for the January sales this year. That was fantastic!  And Hubbie loved it too.  

Hey welcome Karena - I'm sending you some bubbles as looks like you've yet to get some.  But you poor thing not knowing what the problem is.  I think sometimes that can be worse.  At least me and DH now know that its highly unlikely we will ever conceive naturally so there is none of that "What if" every single month.  Do you find yourself checking for signs all the time?  And clearing the shelves of your local supermarket of pg tests?  I found myself doing tests early every month just to try and stop the "maybe maybe" in my head.  But then I'd do the test, it would be negative, and I'd think 'ah well it's probably wrong as it's too early really' - arg!  How have you been copying so far?

Luv

Catharine

PS.  I'm on a bit of a mission to keep our thread at the top of the board!


----------



## zp

hi karena

welcome to our wee chat...... well done for being brave. if you click on the smilie things   then a sort of version show in the text then when you press post it converts to a lovely image 

Have added you to my buddies so don't ever feel alone, you can share what ever is in your head here....

I'm constatnly checking for signs , first for the right time to go for it (makes things very romantic - NOT) then for pg. how many times can you go to the loo in one day when AF is near I'm sure my work mates think I have a bladder problem

love zp


----------



## julyborn

oh ZP don't you worry about starting anything my lovely. We are all very happy for you to be having a holiday!!

I remember constantly thinking "ooh what if I'm pregnant then" but then I thought "sod it - I'll book it and if necessary I'll just cancel it anyway!"  so far no cancellations of holidays course   but also  

It's very very hard not to live in the "what if" frame of mind.
I suppose the one good thing (sort of) with IVF is that you do get exact dates so you know when to get a holiday in!

Catherine, I remember the feeling of checking all the time. And I remember eating ten tonne of mangos (a tip from a friend), also standing on my head after   !! (another tip) and putting pillows in daft places, and doing a cartwheel after sex and tugging on the DH's bits 3 times after sex (ok one of those I made up!!)... and all the other wierd and wonderful things you do 'just incase'!!! 

and get you on your one day trip to Milan for the sales - how very posh, hope you got some bargains!!

Welcome Karena, keep your chin up and think positive vibes.     xx


----------



## Karena

Hi Catharine

Oooh my first reply, I'm soooo excited! ha ha

I know in some ways there's "nothing to fix" so therefore why isn't it happening?  I guess my age doesn't help (that's what I'm always telling myself) and feel guilty for my hubby who at nearly 29 is quite a bit younger.  I'm on the dreaded Clomid which I call my "happy pills" cos they make me so depressed!  Not sure if that's the pills or the fact that I'm not pregnant though.  Now taken 10 months worth and have 2 left to go.  I've only bought one pregnancy test because I had a 33 day cycle which was very long for me but other than that I've usually known I'm not pregnant - I get period pains about 7/10 days before I actually start and it's always the same.  I've started OPK again as I find they help pin point the right time.  I was a bit irregular before the Clomid but that seems to have sorted that out.  Is anyone watching the Baby Race at 11.00 tonight?  It was on last night as well (I've taped it) so I'm going to watch it when I get home from work shortly.  It's about women in their thirties trying to have babies without partners, i.e. doners, adoption etc.  

Milan sounds great - I hope you went mad in the sales!   I've just added a smiley (I think) so hopefully it's worked!

Luv Karena x


----------



## zp

Karena,
well done on the smiley- so many cool things about this site - there are lots more under the more button!!
and under profile at the top of the page you can add bits like photos and info in pink!



Sounds like you've had a tough year, hope you have some luck soon, not sure about that show - i think it might be a tear jerker. Although dh calls tues my drama night already as I get to watch eastenders and then holby and almost always end up snivelling. So maybe I will.

catharine,
maybe our new just in case should be our credit cards - just in case, milan sounds fab was it really swish? were all the men lovely?

end of another day
love Zp


----------



## Kamac80

hi girlies - finally made it on here!!! Me and hubby have been decorating the bathroom and myself as usual!! I am very good though at the painting and decorating (must take after my dad who is a painter and decorator by trade) I now think i should have gone into business with him instead of being a nurse!! I would get paid a lot more for a start!!

zp - lol - i do the same as u when AF is near - constantly checking for signs then when i am even a day late i keep checking and getting my hopes up but then the pains come  

Julyborn - Sounds lovely going on holiday a lot! We went to spain last yr as my aunty now lives there and it was lovely   Like u the last time i wore a posh frock before saturday was on my wedding day in sept 2004 and i wore bridal trainers!!! Hee hee!!!

Welcome karena to the mad house!! These guys have definitly cheered me up!!!

Speak soon xxx

Kate xxx


----------



## julyborn

Is everyone ok?

Had a bit of a poop day today  

I'm off for a curry with some of my girlies tonight and they don't yet know my news and I don't want to spoil the night by telling them (and bringing the mood down), but at the same time I feel like I want them to know. 

oh poop.


----------



## zp

oh Julyborn

I'm sorry, Why so poop today or just a general bad day? 
Want to rant to me before you go home?

Hope you can enjoy tonight.........Hang in there sweetie

love Zp


----------



## julyborn

Hi ZP,
I was just generally down about the whole IVF thing  .
I am DREADING the egg collection bit (even though I haven't even started the drugs yet and its a few months away! )
I read a chat on this website where someone said it was 'horrendous' and 'painful' and that was it, I was down and scared and sad all day long. 

Anyway, went for a curry last night. 
The girls cheered me up no end.  
Didn't tell them about the IVF though. Its nice to escape with them and not be asked about it. 
Obvioulsy, some other close friends know about the treatment so i have them to talk to if necessary, so I think I'll leave it like that.

And I now have you guys if I need to sound off!!


----------



## Griselda

Hi chaps

Hey julyborn don't worry about the egg collection apparently some people don't feel a thing and other's just feel a little discomfort.    Anyway, you do know what happens at the successfull end of this is journey don't you?!!    What's a little egg collection compared to passing the equivalent of a bowling ball through your front bottom!!    And wait till you see the size of the needle they want to put in your back!  

Actually, ladies, I am petrified of that bit.  And don't really like the whole idea of the pregnancy thing either.  But I still want a wee one.  Funny in it.  Am hoping for twins so that I can try an opt for a guilt free ceasarian.  Just knock me out and wake me up when it's all over!  

julyborn, good idea to keep the news to a select few.   

The worst thing is when this becomes a topic of conversation. Y'know you're talking to a chum and there's a slight lull in the conversation so they say 'Hey how's the IVF going?'.  Well I'm sorry but I'm not having this subject used as a bl**dy conversation filler!    It's just too personal.  Especially as it's not just the biology of my reproductive details on the table but hubbie's too.    Ooh another rant.

Hope you're having nice days.  I've started to get personal emails sent to me now.  (ooh check me out - fan mail !!!).  

Hey where'd Louise go?

Hey Karena - I was thinking before - wey to go girl!  Having a hubbie 9 years younger.  You beat me, I only managed 4 years!  But I must admit I was quite pleased when he turned 30 as it was quite difficult to keep up with him for a while!    I didn't watch the baby race. Like zp I tend to avoid such programmes.  

I've managed to become unobsessed re babies and don't want to slip back into the horrible problem I had with it in the beginning when we first got the bad news.

Actually ladies, this might not be right for everyone, but I went to see a Psychic.  As I was driving myself mad everyday with the 'but what if we never have children' fretting.  And ever since I saw her I have just felt so calm about it all it's fantastic.  

Ah well must toodle off and do some work now.

Luv

Catharine
xx


----------



## julyborn

Catherine,
Fan mail eh?!! get you!!
I have had 2 little emails - nice feeling isn't it!
I do love your bluntness about everything, and I always find myself nodding in agreement to your posts 
Hey and we have something else in common - my DH is 4 years younger too. He turns 30 in April (I can't wait! I hate that he is still in his twenties, makes me feel old!!  )

AND, I one went to a psychic yeeeeaaarrrss ago (before I knew of my problems). She actually told me she saw twins. Then, the mother in law went to one too - she was told twin grandchildren were coming! ooooooohhhhhhh  - but I don't read into that tooo much!! IF I ever did get pg and IF it was twins I'd want them to come out of the sun roof too!! 

Kate - how's the bathroom looking? you still covered in paint?

ZP - thanks for the lift yesterday!

Karena - How was the Baby Race? I was like the other ladies and could not bear to watch!

and just where did louise go?.......... you think we scared her off?


----------



## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ ©

Hey ladies

How you doing  I shouldn't really be gate crashing your thread cos I'm not new but know I've chatted to some of you before....   

My DP is 6 yrs younger than me (although until March he's 7 yrs younger !!!)...met him when he was sweet & innocent 18 & doing his A levels...and I was 25 & at uni  (he was the best mate/schoolfriend of my "then" boyfriends younger brother !!!) and we got together when we went on holiday 5 years ago !!! Think it runs in the family...my mums 54 & my stepdad is 43 & my nan is 74 & her "partner" is 66....

I went to a pychic fayre a few months ago & was a bit shocked by what was said....she picked up immediately on loads of family/personal stuff (nan was in hospital for breast cander - again - and heart op last last), parents live overseas (New Zealand) and then she went on about me & babies and actually mentioned IVF & how my life & body weren't "in balance"....so much I maybe could read into but also so much, how the hell did she know !!!! 

Anyway, enough of my gabbing...I've been for looooong lunch (AF arrived yesterday so I allow myself a drink   ) & just about to leave work now...off tomorrow & Monday as took as holiday & hospital appts....

Take care
Natasha


----------



## zp

Hi natasha please do join us.......sorry about AF, have a good couple of days off.

ohhh julyborn, how spooky both being told twins - I don't put much weight on that type of thing but I hope its true for you



What is with you girls and younger men? I'm quite jealous - a young stallion might be just the job!  (only joking I love dh too much). My man is 2 years older than me so I have the delight of teasing him   (especially when he turned 30 and I was only 2. In return he always says I'll have to push his wheel chair and feed him mush- so there is something to look forward to.

Catherine at what point did you stop being obsessed by babies? I am and any tips would be helpful.....

Yesterday a friend sent me an email telling me something about hearing her babies heart beat for the first time, she is a constant worrier always on about being pg (this is no 2) and what if it doesn't work out etc, for god sake woman it worked last time relax!  - I was so mad I deleted the whole thing without reading anymore! hope there wasn't anything else important.

I used to be afraid of the pain but now I just want a baby! (do I sound mad), I think when tx or fingers crossed even pg come then I'll be scarred again.

time for an afternoon cup of tea
zp


----------



## Kamac80

hi girls how are u all?

Well finished the bathroom (well just about - just need to give a good clean now!!) And we now have a bathroom door!!

We went ten pin bowling today as we go a lot - i whipped hubby's ass again and he wasnt too impressed!! Then after we went and sat and had a drink and playing on the games machines when there was a powercut!! lol - we decided to give it 10 mins or so BUT 25 mins later the electric still hadnt come back on so we came home  

julyborn - please try not to worry about the egg retrival (easy for me to say!!)

Speak soon

Kate xx


----------



## Griselda

Hi Ladies

Please brace yourselves.  Big rant coming up.  (Julyborn I think you passed on the 'pooh day' baton to me!)

Okay here it is:-

I'm not going to Dubai for my Birthday
I'm not getting a Rolex
I can't go on my longed for tour of Australia
My PCT flatly refuse to help out with IVF drugs despite Govt guidelines saying I'm entitled to full funding.
Today my boss says I can't take a whole day for my hospital appt.

On top of that he asked me what time it was, where it was, what hospital it was.  Like I'm playing some sort of hooky.  For goodness sake I might aswell have just pulled a sickie.  I mean its only been the diary since November!  Aarg.  The cherry on the tear cake.

Just feel like I'm trying to play the game but everything is out to get me.  

Pooh!

Luv

Catharine


----------



## Kamac80

hi catherine so sorry to hear u are not having a good day  

Ok - how come u are not going to dubai?
How come u are not getting a rolex?
How come u cant go on your tour of oz?
How come your PCT are being a pain in the a**e?!!

And your boss - well he cant do that to be honest - they dont have to know why or where or when your hospital appointment is or about. My boss wants to know all this and i wont even tell her that i am having fertility tests as its none of her business. I see it as that if she wants to moan about me then she can get occupational health to speak to me!!

Hope u feel better soon

Kate xx


----------



## Griselda

Just read all your previous posts.  Fantastic!  

Welcome Natasha - the more the merrier!  Well done you on young hubbie and Julyborn too.  zp you and your dh have hit the nail on the head.  You see you have to a young hubbie because the boys don't seem to last as long as us girls do!   

julyborn - me too - psychic/medium lady told me twins too!  She said on 1st or 2nd ICSI attempt.  It was cool 'cos I've got a lot of family and friends who have passed over and (apparently) one of them started playing the piano (probably Great Auntie Ena    ) and they all started having a sing song and a knees up in her kitchen!  Trust my lot!  That's exactly what they would do too!    Anyway, well that cheered me up and she also said both Dads (hubbie and I have both lost our Dads) were adamant that they would be grandparents.  Everybody say Aaaah !  

Well the thing is even if it is all rubbish some how it just made me relax and accept whatever fate has to bring me.

zp - well done on the sweet justice of deleting your friend's email - you go girl!

Luv 

Catharine


----------



## Kamac80

hi - just thought i would add that my hubby is 15 months younger than me!!!  

Not such a gap as the rest of u but wanted to be in the toy boy gang!! hee hee

Kate xx


----------



## julyborn

hello "loosing it ladies"  (my new name for the gang - you like?  )

I'm a bit hungover. Actually possible still a little tipsy (oops!) 

Last night I met when of my oldest friends (she's 72 - no just kidding!!) and we went to the pub and did NOT talk babies, did NOT talk IVF, and just had a bloody good laugh. She is 33 and childless and doesn't even want kids - so a nice girl to be around at the moment!!! 

I got home and the DH (who had been out too and was slightly tipsy as well) was all "ooh lets make babies"  - honestly I think that man forgets sometimes!! Do all men have a degree in "saying the wrong thing at the wrong time" or is it just my precious one?!!

Catherine, you feeling better after your rant love? 
Your boss sounds like a right plum. nosey old git. how very dare he ask you all those questions.
ps -Loving Great Auntie Ena. 

Natasha - hello again! We've been chatting in another post. Glad you found your way onto this one. This thread really cheers me up!

zp - I too have a very pregnant worrying friend. When she goes off on one it takes all my strength not to shout "for god sakes woman you are having a ***ing baby be bloody grateful" .  ........and breathe.... ....

Kate - Stuuuuuurrrrriike (god I am still drunk......)


----------



## zp

Happy friday loosing it girls 

Julyborn well done on being tipsy at work - my fav trick after drinking is to go for an egg roll midmorning yummyy the fat soaks up any left over alcohol, glad you had a good night last night. 

Catherine you seem happier already - but all my sympathy for the crapness earlier - kate is right your boss can't be like that to you, is there any other senior person who is more sympathetic to talk to?

hello again natasha, you with the toy boy too now I do feel left out, brewing horlicks for mine before bed!!

off for a long friday lunch, so speak later

love Zp


----------



## Griselda

Think boss is feeling a bit sorry this morning (and that he might have forgotten what I told him re fertility) as he has been a bit more sympathetic today.  Thank goodness!  

But he did fire me up with fighting spirit and last night I wrote another email to the PCT making it clear that I would continue to pursue my funding entitlement through legal means and even maybe through the local and national media (heh heh get me !)   

Also, hubbie has had a man to man chat with the bloke half of a couple who are very dear friends.  They amazingly enough have been going through the same things.  They've had about 3 cycles of IVF now.  Anyway, the man won hubbie around (am making a note to give him a big hug next time we all meet up) as he told DH exactly how much I will have to go through in the coming months and that I really do deserve a nice treat of going to Dubai.  So ladies will shall see ......  (Except as its now going to be last minute means I won't have had a chance to do a six week panic bikini diet so might not enjoy it so much having to wobble around everywhere - ooh I'm just always complaining aren't I!   ).

Hey Kat and Natasha you seem to have been around a bit (in the nicest possible way on the FF site I mean!    ).  I've been trying to work out how you get to Senior and Charter member status?  

Natasha - I've been reading your profile.  You poor thing.  You've really been through it haven't you? Sending you some bubbles.  

Natasha/julyborn - have you seen the threads for London girls meet ups?  Have you ever been?  What's it like?  Do you fancy going?  They seem to have had one a few days.

zp and everyone else - thank you for all your lovely support.  

Ooh and another loving piece of good news - my left palm is itching which means I should be coming into some money (yahoo).  How superstitious am I?      

Have lovely weekends.  

Luv

Catharine


----------



## Kamac80

hello loseing it girls! (nice one julyborn!!)

Also well done julyborn - i love a person who can go out and drink and still be drunk the next day!! hee hee!! I also have a friend who is a yr younger than me and she is lovely - she doesnt want kids for a long time and has no maternal feelings whatsoever and she has been the best to me by giving me loads of support and coz she feels like she does she can give a different kind of support than a pregnant friend or a friend who has kids!

hi catherine glad u are feeling abit better today - hope u do come into some money  Also have been on here about 2 months i think now - u get different status the more posts u leave or something - natasha is charter status as she donates to the site but im sure she will be on to explain a bit better than me!! There is also a link telling u how - hang on i will go and find it!! .............................

BACK - its http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,42486.0.html

If not this should make sense.....................

Un-Ranked - Under 10 posts - 1 Gold Star 
Junior Member - 10 posts - 2 Gold Stars
Full Member - 60 posts - 3 Gold Stars
Senior Member - 160 Posts - 4 Gold Stars
Gold Member - 450 Posts - 5 Gold stars
Charter Members - Members who donate to the site - 3 Blue stars
Site Moderator - 4 Pink stars
Administrator - 6 Purple stars
Site Owners - 6 Pink stars
Friend of the site - 3 aqua stars

Take care

Kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## julyborn

oh bother.
I just typed up a long reply and then lost it.    
can't be bothered to do it all again so I'll do it in bullet points and hope you all get me!!

glad yr boss in better mood Catherine. fingers crossed for Dubai!  

Thanks Kate for the info on stars etc  I must nearly be at 3 stars surely!!

had a sausage sarnie zp! 

I've never been to a meet - have you Natasha?
Not sure about going to one


----------



## zp

Hello, just back from lunch (4.30 - very bad employee ),

Just enough time to wish everyone a nice weekend.

Today got appointment to get test results (CD2 and CD21 bloods and DH swimmers) for 14th march.  But trying to keep optimistic for next  maybe won't need appointment?  

Also bought a new type of vitamins for dh (well-man formulation in tescos) supposed to be especially good for his reproductive health........lots of zinc and selenium. £7.95 for 30 tablets mind, lets hope it helps. Any other tips?

Catherine - you go girl don't let them beat you. No worries about the diet, won't you have to cover up in dubai anyway?


Julyborn, with ketchup?

Everyone else take care put there




Zp


----------



## DizziSquirrel

Just to let you know about a CHAT for newbies Tonight!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,48042.0.html
hope to see you there!
~Dizzi~


----------



## Griselda

Hi Chaps

Happy Valentines !  

zp - hey what happened to your photo?    How come you decided to change it?  

When we got DH's first prognosis, I did some research and we tried all the following:-  avoiding hot baths, splashing cold water, boxer shorts, no alcohol, no smoking and the following supplements:- ginseng, zinc, vitamin E, vitamin C, vitamin B12, CoEnzymeQ10, Selenium and L-Carnitine with no discernable positive effect.  However, is subsequent tests results showed that none of these things had any substantial effect.   

I just read something that set me off again last night.  It was some stats in an American book entitled 'The Infertility Survival Handbook' whereby it shows that it does not seem worth freezing eggs/embryos from a woman over the age of 37 years.  The success rate of implantation of defrosted embryos before 37 is nearly 40% but after its less than 10%.    

Boo hoo !

Hope you have lovely romantic evenings with your DHs.  

julyborn - sorry you lost your long reply would have liked to have read it!  I always type mine in notepad and save as I go then paste it in to the site.

Kate - like the new piccie and wey to go on having toyboy hubbie too !    

Sorry I've not been around for a bit but I have been really stressing about Thursday and trying desperately to stay calm.  

Luv

Catharine


----------



## Kamac80

hi catherine - hows u today? Has hubby got u anything for valentines day?

Glad u like the new pic - my mum is meant to be sending me some piccies from the ball but this is my mum and modern technology here!!

Kate xx


----------



## zp

Good morning,

Well I got a card this morning from dh and he says I'm to be home for 5.30 tonight so maybe he's planning something . I hope its fizzy 

I changed my photo just to see what it would look like, will try another today! Keeps you all on your toes. (my life must be quite dull). 

Catherine thanks for all the tips for dh, much as I like the idea of him slashing cold water on his whatnots.  I think we'll stick to the suplements for now, can't do any harm eh. Try to stay calm for thursday, we'll all be thinking of you and here for you. Any news on your trip?

Sunday I had another stressfull phone call from friend with the morning after pill didn't work pg girlfriend!!! Apparently he didn't realise how easy it is to get pg did I Ahhhhhhhhhhh. I do have some sympathy for him as he is trying to do the right thing by a girl he hasn't really known very long, and is struggling abit with dealling with all her hormones (they havn't even been away on holiday for a weekend - never mind lived together!) and he's used to living alone BUT I'm still jelous as hell . Another lot of tears for dh to deal with. Still I think I'm having quite a stable week so far - long may that continue, I even sent friend a book on being good dad to be.

Hows everyone else doing?

have good romantic day

love Zp


----------



## julyborn

hello everyone,

I am confused with all these pictures changes!! took me a while to work out who the banana was!!   

I had a fabulous valentines day and hope you all did too.

Just popping in to check on everyone really.

ZP - hope you can keep strong whilst your pal is talking to you about his pg girlfriend (I know that must be hard). 

Kate - that's a nice new pic - I might change mine now to throw you all off! 

Catherine - GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROW!!!! 

ps - was just nominated to go to Baby Gap with £50 to buy gifts for a girl here who's just had a baby boy. I loved picking all the bits but then got a bit down when I came back.


----------



## Frill

Hey zp, what a great friend you are!  Being sooo supportive when it's tearing you apart inside. You deserve lots of bubbles and hugs for that! 

I have to admit I'm still avoiding one of my friends a bit at the moment.  She's one I confided in a lot and then she got pregnant in October.  Her life is so full and interesting at the mo, not just babe on the way but buying first home and still having little girlie trips out (with other friends - not me, probably cos I'm a hormonal witch).  I just don't trust myself to be all happy and excited etc for her as reckon I would explode and everything come pouring out, which is not really fair on her.

Julyborn - you're much stronger than me going to baby Gap.  I can't even bear to look at Mamas and Pappas when I go past - not even to get something for one of my friends' kids.  I'm such a pathetic wimp. 

On the plus side, have just found a little plastic Patrick Starfish on my desk that DH must have left for me!  Aaaahhhh.  Little things for little brains!


----------



## Kamac80

Afternoon girls hope u are all ok?

julyborn i love the new photo! I must find one from our wedding so u can laugh at my hubby in his kilt!!

Not been up to much just studying lots - boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Kate xxxxx


----------



## Natalina

Hello All 

Just read your posts and you sounded like a mad bunch so thought maybe I could join.....

Hey Kate I am scottish but DH isn't but he wore a kilt on our wedding day. Looked really cool. Where abouts in scotland is your DH from?

I am so jealous that you are all out drinking. I have stopped drinking in an attempt to lose weight    Still it is fun to hear all your stories.

Like most of you the last time I wore a fancy frock was to my wedding in Sept 03.

Also my DH is only 8 months younger. Big up all you gals that have toy boys. 

Speak soon
Natalina xxx


----------



## Frill

Welcome to FF Natalina!

My DH is a year older, but he acts about 10yrs old - does that count?!! 

Frill


----------



## Natalina

Hey Frill dont all men. I think they get to 13 years old, when they start hanging out with their mates, watching porn and get into footie and then never get any older. What do you reckon...


----------



## Frill

Tooo true!

Love yer photo by the way - you both look great!

Frill 
x


----------



## Natalina

Thanks Frill wish I was that size though - but hey never mind. That was on Sept 27th 2003 but it seems like we have been married for ever. Still we get on great. He knows my crazy moods and lets me get on with it. Bless awhhhhhhhhh

How long you been married - if you are?

Natalina xxx


----------



## Frill

It'll be our fifth wedding anniversary in June aaaahhhh!

Had a double wedding with my sis - she wore red/gold, and I wore gold.  It saved having to do the whole thing twice and make my divorced parents go through two difficult days!!  They now get on really well, which is great.


----------



## Natalina

I'll bet that was lovely. It must be nice to have someone to share it with. Would love to see some pics. Hope you have a nice evening xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi natalina - ive just posted to u somewhere else and asked u if your DH was scottish and u have told me he isnt!!

My hubby is from Motherwell near Glasgow - he moved 400 miles down south to me with me  

I got married on 25th sept 2004 so about a yr after u  

Where are u from natalina?

Kate xx


----------



## Natalina

Hey Kate my DH isn't scottish but wore a kilt on our wedding for me. Bless. 

This is unbelievable. I am from Newarthill, which is in Motherwell. What a small world. I am older than your DH though but I can't believe that.......

How spooky!!!


----------



## Kamac80

now that is weird coz my hubby is from Newarthill - what school did u go to hun? What yr would u have left then? His mum still lives there and we visit there about twice or yr or so

Kate xx


----------



## Natalina

I went to St Teresas primary school and Taylor High Secondary school. How weird is this!!!

I am 32 though and your DH is only 24. Doesa he have any brothers or sisters

Natalina xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi natalina - my hubby went to taylor high as well!! Although like u say he is 24 and u are 32 - he does have an older sister but she is only 26 now.

Wow - small world really! Do u still have relatives in newarthill?

Kate xx


----------



## zp

Wow, our thread has become like an episode of supprise supprise.....   
Which one of us is Cilla??

How is everyone? especially been thinking of you catherine, hope yeasterday was ok.
Julyborn - baby gap, you did well.

lots of work for me this morning and got a little tippsy last night   - but wll log in later.

love Zp


----------



## Natalina

Hiya zp hope you are well. Are you still waiting on your test results? 

Hope you have a productive morning at work. What do you do?

Speak soon
Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

Hello loosing it ladies,

I had to take yesterday off of work as the dreaded period was due to arrive (and it has this morning) and I was in sooooooooo much pain yesterday, those of you with endo will know what I mean!!   

Now I have a dilemma. 
My next blood test had to be taken on day 2 (ie tomorrow) but the clinic is not open at weekends.
What do I do? 
Go today? 
Go Monday? 
Wait another bloody long month?! 
Its just soooo typical that it comes today. 
God I'm in a right mood.   

And to top it all off. I am babysitting tomorrow for my sister (my 2 nieces who I adore), whilst her hub y goes and has the snip.
They are having ops to stop having babies and meanwhile I have to have IVF. 
It's so unfair.    

sorry girls. I'm on one today.
Think I need to go eat a big fat sausage sarnie (sorry ladies dieting!!)

Catherine - are you ok? how was yesterday? was thinking of you. 

ps - Welcome natalina - as you will have read, I am not always a moaner!!!


----------



## Natalina

Hello Julyborn. 

Just wanted to give you a hug  

My clinic say that if you come on at the weekend to call them on a monday. However, why not just call them and they will tell you what the best thing to do is.....

I am dieting so can you have a big fat sausage sarnie for me too please...........   

It is well good to moan so dont knock it. 

Good luck with the babysitting. You are a good auntie

Natalina xxx


----------



## maxamundo

Hi ZP,
    I'm new here too. So I'll say a BIG Hello to you,

              take care,

                        max


----------



## zp

hello again

welcome max to our little gang - how are you today?

Natalia, we are still waiting for our results (due on 15th march). And thanks my morning was pretty good. I work as a research scientist, have to wear a white coat (very fetching) and mess about with growing cells in dishes.

July born I'm sorry AF is so painful, I too have pain, take time off and even throw up on day 1 - horrid, it adds insult to injury as it also means once again no baby - just when my hormones are at their most stable?   . Here is a hug from me too . Hope you are coping with the day. You are allowed to be in a bad mood. I also had this what day dilema as my last period started on a friday and I was ment to go on day 2-3, in the end I went on monday morning. This is the test I'm waiting on the result of so I can't garuntee I got it right but I did a bit of surfing to look it up and it seemed to me upto day 4 was OK. Day 1 may be too soon as the hormones have to build up. Good luck at the weekend with your neices

I'm going out for lunch soon, its lovely and sunny here maybe we'll sit outside or at least by a window. 

later ladies

Zp


----------



## julyborn

Thanks Zp,
Thanks for the advice on the blood test.  
I could have put money on it starting on a blinking Friday!!
I'll go Monday I think.
I called the hospital and spoke to the receptionist - so I am waiting for someone to call me back to let me know!   
When do you get your blood test results love?


----------



## Natalina

Have a nice lunch zp. I am on a diet. I need to lose 10lbs before I can start my treatment so al systems go!!!  I went swimming this morning at 7.30 and did 30 lengths. Hopefully this will speed up the weight loss. I go to weight watchers on a tuesday so fingers crossed.

Julyborn hopefully they will call back soon but if not call again.

Have a good friday afternoon

Natalina xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi guys just a flying visit!!

Julyborn - keep your chin up girl   

zp - lol - i loved the surprise surprise comment - u can be cilla for making it!!!!

Natalina - great chatting last nite!!

Max - welcome!!!

Love kate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Griselda

Hi Loosing It Ladies

Well I'm afraid my appt didn't go so good.  Dr rushed through his long speel so fast we just couldn't take it all in and after all the anxiety and two fairly sleepless nights I just burst into tears!    Oops.   (Which probably lead him to wonder if I was actually emotionally stable enough to have a child at all!  )

Anyway, appt turned out to be on D5 and the D1-3 bloods I had so carefully had done turned out to be the wrong ones.  Also DH has to have some genetic disease bloods done which can take up to 2 weeks.  So turns out we will have to wait another month.  Which means Australian trip is definitely out the window too.



Wished so hard that I had done more prep and that I had phoned the ARGC beforehand for required blood tests.

After this first appt I am seriously wondering whether I can go through with it all at all.

But loving all the new piccies.  Yeah, julyborn, I wondered for a while if I was in the right place too!

Am off to try and have a nice week off and try to enjoy birthday although it will be Dubai and Rolex less one.  

Good luck all.

Luv 
Catharine


----------



## zp

Catherine,

I'm so sorry, it sounds like a nightmare. With all this stress no wonder you cryed, I think we all would have! (we're not called the losing it ladies for nothing ). I'm sure he didn't think any the worse of you - and I know you would be a great mum.

Try to have a lovely birthday, you deserve a nice week off and some treats.

thinking of you    
love
Zp


----------



## bernadette

hi zp,
thanks for your reply its always nice to hear from some one .sometimes i feel like   as well ,its pretty normal lets keep everything crossed for your results the fertility road can be a long one and the most important thing is that you have support . dont worry bout hubby did you show him wat you were doing re surfing sometimes i think they cud do with a website too   . its true about everyone having babies sometimes its really depressing and its not just you we all feel it      bernadettex


----------



## bernadette

god ive just spend about an hour reading thru all your letters are you all mad or wat   excellent    needed a bit of cheering up nice to no others are loosing it too    im from n ireland living in malta so i really miss the good british sense of humour   great girls keep it going i need a bit of good entertainment . im in   and testing next wed nerves are shattered at mo and hubby going thru really big something at work so he never home which means im becoming addicted   hugs to all you mad girls   bernadette xxxx


----------



## Natalina

Hey Bernadette

Just goes to show you are not alone. Lots of ppl are going crazy waiting for this to happen lol.

Good luck for next Wednesday.
Natalina xxx


----------



## bernadette

thanks natalina,
just feel somedays like its never going to work after all the   im keeping my chin up this time and hoping one of the little buggers have stuck    to you too xxx


----------



## julyborn

Catherine,

I am really sad to hear that you did not get great news at the hospital.  
I hope that you are having a nice week off and enjoying your birthday as best you can.
I cried at my last hospital appt and I felt like a right ninny.    !!
But I'm sure the docs are used to emotional women - especially us water signs!!   
Chin up sunshine  

How's the rest of the gang doing?

I had my Day 2 blood tests on Day 4 in the end. I called the hospital and they said it should be ok.
I managed to get the same doc to do the blood test so once again I didn't cry of faint (honestly a big deal for me!!).

So now its just waiting for next appt. Although it looks like the wait might be longer as the DH may have to go to Dubai (for work) at the same time!    
Oh yeh - and my best friend has a C-section today but so far I am ok about it    

Hope you are all ok.


----------



## zp

Hi everyone,

Hope you all had a good weekend.

well done julyborn at the blood tests (again) is that a pictour of your dishy doctor that you have put up ? Sorry you might have to wait longer to see him again.

I  had an odd day yeasterday - had bad pain in my side  (was also ovulating? or at least it was the predicted day), looked it up and apparently it can be a sign of ovulation? Anyone else had that ? Feel totally fine today. Maybe it was just indigestion but never felt like that before. 

Bernadette     for  

love zp


----------



## julyborn

zp,

i get that pain EVERY month. 
horrid. 
it does coincide with ovulation.
I get the pain cause of my endo as well.

ps - glad you like the new pic of my doc


----------



## zp

Hi Julyborn

well I'm quite glad you have it too ( I was worried! it really hurt), although obviously not glad for you if you know what I mean. Doesn't really put you in the mood for  .

At least its easy to pin point when you ovulate!!! 

Ahhhhhhhhhh

Zp


----------



## Kamac80

hi ladies

Well im not up to much just enjoying my last study week before i start my placement next monday - i am very nervous!!!

Well my friend had her 3rd baby today - another boy so i am going to see them on friday - feel ok about it actually  

Hope u are all ok?

Kate xx


----------



## jo &amp; ian

i got that pain when i ovulate - each time, it is good that you know when youre ovulating, but mine was so bad that i wouldnt let hubby near me! expected to get the same thing when i had the egg collection for ivf - but i didnt - just in case anyones wondering, i was sore afterwards though (but hey, this whole journeys painful, physical pains easy to deal with)

ive really enjoyed my friends babies, its their pregnancies ive found hard


----------



## Natalina

Hello All 

hope you are all ok. zp thanks for the other night, you made me feel much better

Natalina xxx


----------



## zp

hi again

Thanks jo for your reasurrance that I'm not alone. And I agree its not the babies/children its the parents I find hard!

Natalina - no problem girl, anytime you just message me.....

Kate, enjoy your last days of study - and you will be a star next week.

byeee
Zp


----------



## Kamac80

hi zp thanks hun - hope u are keeping well?

Kate xx


----------



## Griselda

Well Hello Lovely Loosing It Ladies - I'mmmm back!  

Week off was a bit grim but :- 

We have finally ordered some fitted wardrobes which has only taken us 5 years to get around to doing.  Also I think I've managed to find a slot in our upcoming treatment in which to book up a mini break hoorah!  This will possibly be to Andorra.  My hairdresser told me that Andorra is a good place to buy a Rolex, it's much nearer than Dubai and nice and cold this time of year which should keep DH's wigglies in top wiggly form.  Marvellous!  

Anyone know anything useful about Andorra? 

julyborn - yes, I'm a bit of a fishy wuss with the tears and am glad not to be the only one as "crabs cry too" (could be a good film title do you think?). 

natalina - welcome and loving the wedding pic girl! 

zp - thanks for the support, you are a little star, no wonder all your friends come to you with all their problems! 

bernadette - welcome and thanks for the appreciation of our little repartee we have going here! 

julyborn - funnily enough, Borat does bear more than a passing resemblance to the Leading Consultant at my clinic! 

I get ovulation pain too.  Although I'm not sure exactly how much of this is a little psychosomatic especially as we've just tried using the Clearblue ovulation sticks for the first time this month and, I tell you what, ovulation was agony (well almost)   !
  
Luv 

Catharine


----------



## zp

Hi catherine,

Glad to have you back... ..never been to andora but I'm sure it will be great (can't you ski there?)

and hello to all you other loosing it ladies, hows it going today?  ?  ? or ?

bye for now 
Zp


----------



## julyborn

Hey Loosing it Ladies,

What a week its been.... !!!

Best friend had a little boy on Weds and I went to visit on Sat.
He's adorable. Came home feeling soooo jealous of my best friend.

My bloody car broke down and it cost me £400 for a new clutch (so much for the IVF savings!!)

A huge patch of excema (how do you spell it?!) has decided to live on my neck.

I have 3 big red sore patches that have appeared on my gums at the very back of my teeth (on BOTH sides of my lower teeth).
I asked the pharmasist at my local "Bootsys" to take a look, to see if Bongela would help.
He said "are you getting enough Vitamins?" answer: maybe not  
He said "do you drink a lot of alcohol?" answer: not really  
He said "have you had any emotional stress lately?" - BINGO!! 
So its off to the dentist for me on Thurs (so much for the IVF savings!!) 
I have never had problems with my teeth/gums so it's a bit of a bummer. 

Anyhoo on the positive side - my little sister is treating me to a trip to Centre Parks for the weekend to have lots of lovely spa treatments to try and relax!     

ps - Welcome back Catherine!  I know I'm late but wanted to use the icon!!
and remember ladies...... crabs cry too


----------



## Griselda

Hey thanks for the Birthday wishes julyborn!    Have you been eating a lot of tomatoes at all?  I never had problems with sore gums or mouth ulcers till I worked with a girl who did and then as if by osmosis I started to suffer too.  We both found we had a bit of a break out if we overdosed on tomatoes.  Weird but true.  Also I have been guilty of sometimes missing out the bed time teeth brushing and neglecting to brush my gums as well as my teeth.  Also, I had problems when I tried out one of those new super duper electric plaque bashing brushes - it left me in agony!  So, my advice is, cut out the toms, brush at bed time, don't neglect your gums and use a gentle brushing action!    

zp - yes, I think I've been skiing in Andorra before too but like yonks ago. 

Look Losing It Ladies we're back at the top of the board!  After slipping off onto the second page too!

Ugh its ugly being back at work.  Just had telcon with DH and we both were thinking 'hey there must be something else I could be doing with my life'   So I've been looking up doing a PGCE this morning.

Anyway, back to the slog.

Luv
Cat


----------



## julyborn

Maybe I have had an attack of the nasty tomatoes! 
I have been eating a lot of tomatoe soup and recipes very tomatoe based - does that count?!!
I'll definately bear it in mind. 
And thank you for your advice! 

By the way girls, I have this thread set up on 'email notification'  so that I always know when one of you has posted a message as I get an email. Its very handy!!   

Am I dumb - what's a PCGE?


----------



## zp

Hi 
I used to have it set up to alert me but once too often the alert poped up when I was talking to someone about worK!!!! Headed fertility friends I was a little embaressed ....think I managed to click it off quick but even so  

So be warned - i was good though as it stoped me constantly checking!

off for a cup of peppermint tea (still hoping for this month so no coffee - its killing me)

love Zp


----------



## Griselda

zp - just noticed you're a full member now.    Hey check you out girl!  I'm impressed.  And Good Luck for this month.   (That's the first time I've used the magic wand fairy icon thing - weee!)  You are good with cutting out the coffee.  I'm afraid I'm not so good with sticking to healthy lifestyle changes.   I also found the "Infertility and Fertility Support in the UK" heading on personal emails quite embarrassing in my inbox 'specially when the boss comes peering around my pc screen to see what I'm up to.    (Just changed this to FF in my contacts in Outlook now so should be okay from now on  )

julyborn - yes, anything tomato based!   Tomato soup, tomato puree, the tomato topping they put on pizzas (underneath the mozeralla) and the tomato based sauces used for pasta - if I (and my friend too) get too much we get sore gums!  (And is not a water sign thing as my chum's an Aries    (but very big on healthy stuff drinks yukky wheatgrass stuff an all sorts  ))  So you see it is a case of killer tomatoes!   Wow!   

Sorry PGCE is the post-graduate teaching qualification.  Was thinking of cashing in my corporate lifestyle to broaden the minds of youngsters ......  

Luv
Cat


----------



## julyborn

Catherine - Hey good call on the outlook contacts tip!
and my god I have been eating a LOT of tomatoes know I come to think of it.
I didnlt realise how much until you just listed everything!!   

Lets see if I can go tomatoe cold turkey for a week and I'll check for any changes!! 

zp - peppermint tea?! well done you!! 

Kate - you started your placement yesterday - fill us in!! how's it going?


----------



## Kamac80

hi ladies hope u are all well?

Julyborn - my friend had a little boy last weds as well - he is so cute i went and saw him 24 hours after he was born and it was such a great healer to hold him   Thanks for asking i started my placement yesturday - its been great so far but tireing as they are 10 hour shifts!! There is one nurse who is a bit of a cow but isnt there always one anyway?!!!

Take care

Kate xx


----------



## ♡ C ♡

Zp jsut thought I'd say hi on here know we;ve been taking on PM's. Hope you are getting some good support everone is so nice.
When you feel like it come and chat on the Yorkshire girls thread would be great to see you


----------



## zp

Hello girls,

Thanks shouldwood, I really appreciate all the support from the ladies on this site.

Kate, glad your placement is ok (sounds like hard work) - like you say there is always one at work, as long as the others are OK I'm sure it will be fine. As long as she isn't in charge of you.

Julyborn, hows the eccma and the teeth - that sounds nasty  - hope car is still alive 

Catherine - PGCE sounds a good idea what age would you do, what subject. My fav teacher was one who had done other stuff first, they had better perspective.

Thought I'd give you all an update. Today dh proudly produced his sample at the hospital  . he said it wasn't as embaressing as he feared - (and he only got a bit on the floor,  sorry if thats tmi ) I bought him lunch after as a treat. So now its 2 weeks till the results . Really no idea what to hope but at least we will have a clue what is going on  . Also still trying to be good (AF due sat so not long to go now) - I think I miss caffine more than alcohol (but its close!), still need a cup a tea before leaving the house.

ohh and there are cakes again at work today - yipppeeeeeee

laters
love Zp


----------



## Griselda

Good morning Lovely Loosing It Ladies and I hope its a good one for you.  

I missed out a few emoticons in my last post - so I hope you don't think I was being too serious about the star signs bit!!    I'll try and edit it later for future readers.  

zp - loving the sperm sample story.  I was so anxious for my DH the first time he had to produce 'on demand' at the clinic.  But he did a grand job (I'm so proud!   )

julyborn - stand away from the tomatoes  

natalina - have been reading about your weight struggle and the stopping smoking on the other thread.  WELL DONE YOU.  You are doing so brilliantly.  You are an inspiration.    I should lose about a stone really too as I've got a bit porky since the wedding (domestic bliss!).  I hate being overweight but my BMI isn't high enough to cause a problem for IVF.  But being short it's only a few pounds one way or the other   !  I'm struggling with stopping smoking too.  I felt like it's my 
guilty little secret that it's mad to be approaching IVF and still on the puff.  

Back in June last year we decided to try seriously for a baby (after playing around on and off with it for the previous few months).  As I was 38.5 I decided that it might be best to start fertility tests 'just in case' as my eggs didn't have much time to lose.  DH's SA came back as infertile and it was such a shock.  However, this did not provide the best motivation for stopping smoking as I knew it was almost impossible for us to conceive naturally.  A few more months grace the nicotine monster laughed!  

We've now had our initial appt with the clinic and I was ashamed to admit to a 15 a day habit.    Last week I tried to quit and was so depressed.    But I'm down to 4 a day now   and plan to keep trying.  We start a monitored cycle soon and when that is complete we will start treatment so I still have a few weeks to get it sorted.

Oh hark at me blah blah di blahing you all!  Sorry for the l o n g 'me' post !  

Kate - what is it you do?  Was it nursing or teaching?  (Hope you don't mind me asking.  I normally don't like to but you had me wondering about your placement!)

Have good days ladies.

Luv
Catharine


----------



## Griselda

Ooh forgot to say (during my long infertility life story rant) that the Outlook contacts thing didn't work after all.  

And I've edited the previous post now!  That's better!  

Also, what are your thoughts on the green bouncey alien?  It is a bit like me.


----------



## julyborn

Catherine,

don't beat yourself up too much love.  
4 **** a day is a BIG improvement and certainly going in the right direction.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!  

I gave up in June 05 and feel so much better for it.   
I hope I don't sound too much like smug reformed smoker - but I am quite proud of myself!! 
The DH is down to 10 a day and wants to stop too. 
I try not to go on at him too much as its not as if we don't have enough stress at the moment!!
That's the problem isnt it.   
Doing IVF is so stressful and so not really the ideal time to be trying to give up smoking (although its hard at any time to be honest!!) but you can do it Catherine - I just know it!!  
and you too Natalina with your weight loss - keep going!!  

Well I have been to the dentist about the sores in my mouth and you'll be pleased to hear that I do not have gum disease or any other problems! and the lumps have gone! WIERD. But I have laid off the nasty tomatoes  -so maybe that worked!!!

Kate - don't let that nasty old nurse get you down lovely.   (As you say "there is always one" - but they get their comeuppance (gosh I have never had to spell that word - doesn't it look odd!!!) 

zp - loved the flying sperm story.  
Its nice to have be able to laugh about something like that.  
Keeping everything crossed for your results. 
Oddly, when my DH did his test I never once worried about the result! I think it's because I was soo wrapped up in my own bodies problems! 
When DH went to the hosp to give his sample he ws told to take a seat and wait.
So he did.
And waited some more.
An hour went passed and he was stilll waiting. 
Another 1/2 hour went passed and he called me as he was getting a bit stressed and needed to get back to work. 
I told him to go and ask the receptionist how long it would be.
So up he steps....
"excuse me - I've been waiting some time now. Can you tell me how much longer it will be?" 
to which she replies "ooh sorry I forgot to put you on the list" DOH! 
Anyhoo - he then asks "how long will it take then?" - to which a rather flushed receptionist answers "that's entirely down to you sir" 
Needless, to say the DH was quite embaressed and didn't want to say "I meant how long will THE WAIT be - not the actual event!!"
anyway, it gave me a laugh when he got home!    ::

oh and zp - my car is alive after having its £400 makeover! it too has dodgy tubes and clutch - he he!! 

and on the subject of little green men and japanese cartoons and Borat etc...
I must say, I found it easier to keep track of everyone when the photos were up - but I like the new ones too!!


----------



## Natalina

Hello all

Today is my day 18 of non smoking and believe me it defo does get easier the longer you last. I try to think of it more as a challenge than giving something up. Psychologically, when you think you have given something up, you want it more. So I am trying to train my mind to see how long I can go without. As for the weight loss just gotta hang in there.

Talking of the   stories, when my DH had to do his first sample we did it at home. He dropped half of it on the floor and tried to scrape it up!!! Anyway as we have a dog I was scared they were going to say he was abnormal and the reason we couldn't get pregnant was because he was part animal but everything was ok.....


Today I need your help. My last period was on the 20th January. Therefore today is day 42 of my cycle. I am normally regular on 28 or 30 days but occasionally have been known to go longer. My symptoms are the same as before my AF except my boobs have been killing me for 2 weeks now and this isn't normal. If they hurt they only do so for a couple of days normally. However they only hurt once in a blue moon. I constantly feel like I am going to come on but there is nothing there. As I am not smoking or drinking and have kept caffeine to a minimum then I am not harming anything should anything be there......However I don't know what to do. The last time my cycle was 42 days and I did 2 pt but they were both negative..

Please help as I feel so confused

Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

I suppose the easiest thing for a quick answer is to do a test!!

can you remind me of your story/problems? if that's not too intrusive!!


----------



## Natalina

No problem

We have been trying for 5 years and after 2 years went to the docs. I have PCOS and low progesterone levels. It is not likely I will fall pregnant naturally. My DH sample was great so we opted for IUI last year and this failed so we decisded to go for IVF. I need to lose 10lbs before I can have the IVF so we are just waiting for that.

I know I should do a test but I dont want to be disappointed if it is negative. I am sorry to sound like a wuss but I am really going a wee bit mental here!!!

Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

ok. so there is a possibility you could fall naturally. 
That is not ruled out. 
However, if you are stressing about the symptoms you are showing - it could delay your period too!
So, whether or not you do the test the outcome will remain the same - sorry if that sounds blunt.
I suppose you could try and distract yourself from thinking about it too much (hard to do!) or do the test, get the result and move on....
A lot of people I know that have been waiting to start IVF have fallen naturallly on the run up as they have relaxed a bit more cause they know that is the outcome.
Please try not to get too stressed. Easy for me to say I know! 
Keep your chin up love.
And we are all here to offer advice and help you through.


----------



## Natalina

Thanks

Will go out this afternoon and buy a test and see what happens.

Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

sending you lots of love and bubbles Natalina!!


----------



## Natalina

Thanks, I really appreciate your advice. Will be back on this afternoon to let you know what happens.

Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

HEY I'M A FULL MEMBER!!!!! 

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe


----------



## Natalina

Well done Julyborn

Good for you


----------



## Griselda

Hi Natalina

Well.  Wow.  

I agree with julyborn.

In fact, if it was me I would have been straight down to the chemist before you could say jack robinson on day 31.  I wouldn't have been able to stand the "what if" and "maybe maybe" going around in my head every day.  

If the result is not what we all hope it will be then it's just not the right time for you yet.  But it will be soon.

I've got a good feeling about this though.  

Good luck.



Luv
Cat


----------



## Griselda

congratulations on full membership julyborn!

            

hi kate - apologies, I've just done some catching up and, of course, its nursing.


----------



## Natalina

Thanks Cat

I am off out now to buy a test. Fingers crossed

Natalina xxx


----------



## zp

good afternoon ladies,

what a lot has been going on with you while I was in a meeting 12-4!

smokers quitting and cutting down, people loosing weight - well done  keep going  , you'll be running a marathon next. (I bought a cross trainer on e.bay last month but havn't unpacked it yet! must do so at the weekend)

julyborn getting full membership for time wasted on this site when suposed top be working - again well done    

Natalina and her pg test...any result yet? ohhhhh I do hope its      . and if not well we're here for you hun.


All your dh   stories are funny I'll pass them on to mine tonight.

Julyborn glad the teath and lumps and bumps weren't serious.

love Zp


----------



## Natalina

Hey zp

I know its pathetic of me but I went to buy a test and couldnt do it. I am going to wait till the weekend and see whats happening then and try not to think about it........

Hope you are ok. What you been up too?

Natalina xxx


----------



## Griselda

Hi Natalina

I think waiting to the weekend might be a good idea cos at least this will give you the space to laugh and/or cry over the result at your leisure.  

But, hey, it means we all have to be kept in suspense too!!  

More seriously though, you must to whatever is right for you honey.

Thinking of you.

Luv
Cat


----------



## julyborn

Don't you worry about it Natalina. 
As I said before - the outcome will be the same whatever you decide to do today!! 

Now Ladies I am off for my spa weekend so will not be logged on now until Tues. 

Have a good weekend y'all!! and keep up those positive vibes


----------



## zp

Have a fantastic time Julyborn..
Zp


----------



## julyborn

Thanks chuck.
Hopefully I'll come back in a mystical zen like state and pass all my vibes on to yoooooooou all (said in a mystic meg style voice)


----------



## Natalina

Have a good weekend julyborn. Get destressed and chilled out. Sounds like a good plan to me

Natalina xxx


----------



## zp

Hi Natalina,

don't apologise to us, as the others say, you do what is best for you....I'll be around at the weekend (dh has to work) so let us know how you get on. I've never got so far as being late to need to test, I always say tomorrow and then wham AF arrives  . Actually still waiting on this months   due sat/sun so trying to keep the dream alive or undercontrol depending on the hour. Must not fantasise about names/due date but must also stay  . Ahhhh what a life.

All this is reminding me of the only time I did do a pgt, about 10 years ago - when I was a week late and terified I may be pg (oh the good old days) - obviously was not, came on 30mins after test. How can I have spent 12 yrs panicing about getting pg then the rest panicing about not getting pg?? . Will there ever be months of carefree abandon?

And what have I been upto well not too much went to a party on the weekend, and only had 2 glasses of wine  . went to see aeon flux (bad sci-fi) last night which was amusing but not a classic. And otherwise staying wrapped up in the warm (its very cold up here). (dh had test - see previous post). oh yes and next door have just got a 6 month old lab puppy (black and so cute) so I've been to visit it a few times. 

Anyhow try not to worry too much petal.

love zp


----------



## Natalina

Hey zp

Its the dreaded catch 22 situation. I don't want to know but I do    

Anyway, I keep getting the feeling that   is coming so I don't think I am but then my boobs have never been this sore so I am not sure. My DH reckons that we should wait till sat and check it out then. So, for once!!! I am going to follow his advice.

There will never be months of carefree abandon - I dont think we have been made that way!!!

Well done on the drinking at the weekend. I have been reading your earlier posts and I have also been trying to cut out caffeine. I have found that vanilla t-bags are really nice. Have you found any good un's

What you up to the weekend?
Natalina xxx


----------



## zp

hi Natalina,

Waiting till sat sounds good as cat said (and she usually has good advice) then you can respond at lesure not have to deal at work.

Oh herbal tbags (let me first say none match up to a lovely tetley brew with a good splash of milk!) but I like camamile and vanilla, rasberry and my fav is peppermint. Never tryed vanilla alone - maybe I will later, they have a selection in the canteen at work.

This weekend I'm going out with my friends and their kids (9 and 6yrs) so well past the baby stage and therefore safe. We are going to a science centre place "magna" near here - its supposed to be very interactive. According to the 9yr old boy its cool, so I'm quite excited! 

well better try and do something productive

hope everyones day is good
love Zp


----------



## Griselda

Happy Friday Lovely Loosing It Ladies  

julyborn - the spa weekend sounds lovely.  you lucky thing.    Hope you have a super time and look forward to hearing all about it on Wednesday then!  

natalina - good luck for tomorrow.  I've got my fingers crossed for you. 

zp - have a cool time at the science place.  

I'm just reading a v interesting book which might not actually be quite such a good choice considering our situations    but its about that poor lawyer lady who lost two sons from cot death and then was convicted of their murder.  My goodness, how to make yourself paranoid about such things before you've even managed to produce a child!   

Anyway, the interesting thing is that both babies died shortly after their first 4 month vaccinations.  This is a multi like the MMR and includes diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis (whooping cough) and polio.  Coincidentally, the timing of this jab coincides with the prime time for instances of cot death (which I didn't know before reading this book).  Poignantly, her GP refused to carry out the immunisation on her third child who subsequently survived.  

In the end, they referred the third lad to a specialist who monitored his white blood cell count (a measure of the strength of his immune system) and this turned out to be below the normal range (maybe a genetic thing).  They held off doing his jab until his immunity was within normal range and then he was okay.  

So, if I ever get lucky enough to have a child, I'm going to ask for an immunity test before I let them vaccinate!  Can you imagine after the struggle of getting there to lose your child at just 4 months.  How awful!  

Sorry this might not be such a happy note to start the weekend on!  But I just thought you might find that interesting.  

I'm off out to dinner with some girlie friends tonight and DH is working all weekend so I shall be all alone at home    but will be catching up with girlie chums  .

Luv
Cat


----------



## Griselda

Hey I just made it to full membership too!


----------



## Kaz12

Hi Natalina,

Good luck with your test this weekend!  I have got my fingers crossed for you 
        

Kaz


----------



## Natalina

Hello all

Just wanted to let you know that I did a test and got a  

I cant believe it to be honest. All those years and now this. We are both really happy and over the moon

Speak soon
Natalina xxx


----------



## londonlou

Hi Girls, hope you don't mind me popping in. I found your post about the London Girls meet ups. Thought I would say hello. We have north and south london mini meets as well as a combined meet. All very informal and friendly. So don't be afraid to pop over to the thread of maybe come to a meet. If I say it myself, we're a friendly bunch and newcomers are very welcome.
The thread is here: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,49709.0.html

Congrats on your BFP, Natalina!

Julyborn, we seem to have quite a lot in common. I'm east london and at barts too.

Lou
x



Catharine said:


> Natasha/julyborn - have you seen the threads for London girls meet ups? Have you ever been? What's it like? Do you fancy going? They seem to have had one a few days.
> Luv
> 
> Catharine


----------



## Kaz12

Hi Natalina,

What's a great news!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!!      

Kaz  xxxx


----------



## zp

.....WOW Natalina, well done, congratulations.....   So please for you.

Take care of yourself now

love Zp


----------



## zp

Ohhh girls, why am I up at 7.15 on a sunday...
well because   has arrived and I'm in bloody agony. Have taken painkillers and have hotwater bottle down PJs but still hurts lots ahhhhhhhh.
Also gutted again, why am I so stupid to imagine this might be our month when quite clearly its very unlikely to be - but I do everytime.   . 

Feeling very isolated, yet another friend has had baby - I really should call to congratulate but I can't face it. I don't see or talk to my friends half as much anymore for this reason and to top it all dh sleeps on oblivious to my pain.

oh course all this is hormonal babble so don't take too much notice. Need to rant somewhere!!

hope your having better weekends

love Zp


----------



## Kaz12

Hi Zp,

Don't know what to say to comfort you but there're always good days and bad days...  You're not alone in any way.  We're all here for you if you need to talk.   Be strong and stay positive.

Hope you will feel better tomorrow.          

Kaz


----------



## Kamac80

hi zp

know how u feel hun my AF's are always so painful as well and i hate it!! Just makes u feel even worse by telling u well u arnt pregnant this month as well!!!

Take it easy hun - i am off to a christening today and quite scared as i am one of 40 godparents can u belive?!!!

Kate xxx


----------



## Natalina

Hey zp 

I am so sorry to hear that you are ****** off and in pain. It isn't easy. And I do know how you feel. 

You are always such a comfort to everyone so I hope we can be of comfort to you.

Keep smiling and if you need to rant you rant away.

Natalina xxx


----------



## zp

Thanks girls  

Still feel crap and not looking forward to work tomorrow , maybe I'll phone in sick. Managed a little walk to park this afternoon but came home in tears because the sun had brought out every baby in the area . 

Baked brownies and going to eat them all with a glass of wine. Decided not to call anyone for fear of shouting at them, as my mother says if you can't say somethng nice say nothing!

Kate 40 godparents ---whats that all about?

Zp


----------



## Kamac80

hi zp hun are u feeling any better today?

Have a good old moan on here then as we dont mind!! Also did u save any brownies for us?!!!

Yes.....40 godparents!!! The ceremony lasted a while!!! The mum of the baby is from the Philipines and well they certainly dont do things by half!! Traditionally they have 12 godparents but this lassie wanted 40!! And i was one of them!! My poor hubby was quite bored!! When i get the photos developed i will post them as well! But afterwards they had the reception at a chinese restuarant and it was all hot buffet food which was lovely!!!

It was also quite funny coz after the christening all the godparents took turns in holding the baby for a photo and for each godparent the baby was laughing and all happy then it was my turn and the baby starting crying!!!! I think he was trying to tell me something?!!

Take care

Kate xxxx


----------



## zp

Hi Kate
Sounds like some do you were at.

yes, feeling a bit more human now - just a bit sore after pain killers , also not cryed yet today!!!

Have a good day all  

love Zp

PS the cryng baby means nothing - I'm sure you and dh will make great parents.


----------



## Griselda

Wow Natalina congratulations hun !    

zp sorry about the    hope you're feeling better now.  It will all work out.

Kate - wow 40 godparents!    I thought good old CofE restricted you to 3!

julyborn - hope the spa weekend was good.  looking forward to hearing all about it.  

lou - many thanks for the invite would love to join in too.  

Well this is the first month DH and I have used ovulation sticks and we got it bang on.  And the last SA DH had was must better than the others but still seriously sub.  My    is due anytime from today through to Friday and so far no signs.  But boobs aren't particularly sore or anything so I don't hold out much hope.  I'll probably be joining you zp pretty soon rather than natalina.  But surprisingly I haven't yet had the dynamic urge to rush down to the chemist for a pg test as I just know there's not much point.

Luv
Catharine


----------



## zp

Hi catherine,

keeping everything crossed for you - although it's better to think not then get a nice suprise (if only it was that easy).

hows everyone else?

love zp


----------



## Natalina

Hiya zp 

more to the point how you feeling?

Natalina xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi catherine - it was in a Catholic church so im guessing thats why they allowed 40 godparents!!!

Kate xx


----------



## zp

hi Natalina

yes I'm still here disapointed as hell as usual but keeping my head down and sitting out this hormonal rollercoaster.... only 8 days till appointment with GP for all our results.

you take it easy pg girl!!!!

love Zp


----------



## Natalina

Thanks zp

8 days is nothing to wait and I look forward to hearing the results. We had a scan this morning and everything is in the right place and we got to see the heartbeat. It was lovely

What you been up to?

Hello Catharine

Hope you are well and you do get a nice surprise. Remember miracles do happen.

Julyborn

How was your spa weekend?

Kate

Hope you are ok?

Love Natalina xxx


----------



## Griselda

kate - well that must explain it then !   

natalina - how an earth did you do a pg test on Saturday and then get an appt for a scan today?    I would have thought you'd have to wait much longer than that.    Amazing.

zp - good luck for the GP appt.  Hopefully, at least you'll get some answers and have a better idea of what you are dealing with.  You and your DH don't have to go straight back to work afterwards do you?  It might be best not to as you may have a lot to talk about.  Have some fairydust for luck:



Luv
Cat


----------



## Natalina

Hey Cat

I called my old private clinic and booked a viability scan. I had to pay for it as my first midwife appt isn't till next Thursday. I did it because I didnt really believe it and thought that seeing is believing.

Any sign of the dreaded AF

zp - good idea about taking the rest of the afternoon off.

Love Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

GOODNESS ME YOU LOT!!

I go away for one weekend and I miss all the good stuff - NATALINA IS PREGNANT. 
          

Sooooo pleased for you girl. And I absoutely knew it - honest to god I swear. 
But I did not want to say anything because it would not have been good if my instincts were wrong!! 

ZP - big hug for you.   
chin up. you are such a lovely girl. I hate reading about your pain. I know how it feels all too much having this dreaded endo. God its agony somtimes isn't it. Keeping everything crossed for your results in 8 days.   

Kate - what is your new god childs name? Is it Ali? (Ali baby and the 40 godparents!!) yeh yeh I know - stick to the day job! 

Cat- "We are full blown members, we are full blown members, la la la la, la la la la" (to tune of the conga)  
what you reckon about the London meet message sent by LondonLou? have you popped into the thread yet? 


anyway - sorry its short and sweet - got a mountain of stuff to do will catch up properly tomorrow loosing it ladies.

xxxxxxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi julyborn - loved the joke!! His name is Gaybriel or something like that anyway!!! (has the same name as mark from Eastenders when he went to the Bill!!!) God now im really not making sense!!!

Hi natalina - i am ok hun - feeling quite alone at the moment as James is at work till 2am and as usual as AF is due soon i am feeling sorry for myself!

Kate xxxx


----------



## Lolalocks

Hi zp,
I feel like I am losing it too.  Had a crap day at work today and the tears just won't stop coming today - feel like a freak.  Think everybody is fed up of hearing me moaning about ttc so this site is a great way to chat to others in the same position.  I have been to docs once and they were very unsympathetic - probably due to my short time of ttc but still not nice.  They told me to come back in 3 months but going crazy waiting.  Feel like I am wishing my life away!  Hope you get positive results when you and your dh go to see your docs n will look out for how you get on - good luck 
Lolalocks x


----------



## zp

Hi Kate 
Don't feel alone - want to chat ? I'm banished as its championship tuesday!!!

Hello Lolalocks
Thanks for your message - I'm sorry you are feeling bad - sometimes life sucks  !  Even if you were early going to the docs, that is no excuse for rudeness  , they could have been sympathetic. My advice have a big cry tonight and hope to hell you feel better tomorrow. Maybe in 3 months you'll be going to the doc with a bump? thinking     things for you.

Julyborn looking forward to hearing weekend stories (and good joke - gave me a giggle)



 that ones for you cat

Feeling better tonight think the worst has past for this month  

love Zp


----------



## Kamac80

hi zp would love a chat dont know if i would be much fun though!!!

Kate xx


----------



## judobabe23

hey I'm new 2 da site as well been ttc over 1 yr now , I'm 23 an engaged. my doc said i will prob not conceive so dat shattered me, gotta go 2 a fertility doc & hopefully things will start 2 happen. best of luck 2 u hop it works out


----------



## zp

do you want to go to chat room? or chat here?

What have you been up to tonight?


----------



## Kamac80

i have been doing the quiz - i dont mind where we chat hun let me know

Kate xx


----------



## zp

I'm dieing to try the chat rooms! see you there soon

Zp


----------



## Griselda

Hi Lovely Loosing It Ladies

julyborn - welcome back!  So tell us, tell us, how was the spa?    Where did you go?  Did you have many treatments?  Yes, I've popped into the London Meet thread and am thinking of going along.  Bit scarey though.    Would be nice not to be the only newbie if you fancied going to?  It's on the 14th at South Bank.

zp - thanks for sentiments.    got a bit of spotting last night (sorry if that's tmi  ) but since then nothing.  was all set for trecking up to the phlobotomy dept at the local hospital this morning as well for my day 1-3 bloods (in order to start my monitored cycle with the clinic) but then this morning when there was no 'follow through' (   so to speak) I realised I couldn't have them done if day 1 wasn't really happening in full.  Is there still hope?  Probably not.  Not that there was much in the first place anyway.

lolalocks - hey girl don't feel like a freak.  Crying is perfectly natural.  You are grieving.  We all are here.  You've got to let it out.  Try not to take too much notice of silly Doctors.  They tend not to see you as a person just their next job.  I have yet to meet one on this journey so far who had anything near a good level of bedside manner.  And, although I probably shouldn't recommend it, we lied about our length of ttc.  Because I knew they wouldn't do anything until 1-2 years ttc and I was 38.5 with no time to lose.  So we said we'd ttc for 2 yrs.  Oops.  But hey it worked.  We got tested straight away and found that DH has big problem and we need ICSI.  The advice is - do what you need to do to get the result you need.  Especially, if you are going mad and its driving you crazy not knowing.  Good luck.

judobabe23 - welcome!

natalina - ah I see.  Good thinking.  Yes, I suppose it must have made it very real seeing your baby on the monitor.  Wow.  Take care now.

Luv
Catharine


----------



## Griselda

OMG Ladies

I keep going to the loo every 30 mins to check on progress of  

Am I going bonkers or what.  

Still nothing.  Eek.


----------



## julyborn

Catherine - how late are you?! and you are always bonkers!! 
     
It's so weird cause I used to be bang on 28 days but since I have known about my problem I get the AF sometimes a few days early and sometimes a few days late. Which was a real pain when I had to do my day 2 bloods (I ended up going on day 4 cause of the weekend!!)  

Re the meet on the 14th. I have planned to take out my friend (the one with the 2 week old baby) for a nice dinner on the 14th. 
I might see if I can change this and go to the London meet - but I'll see how the land lies as I'd feel a bit bad cancelling her first night out post baby! I can always go to the next one. 

So everyone, the spa was lovely. Had fabulous massage. fennel celluite tretament wrap type thing, and reflexology too. As well as visiting the steam rooms and the thelasotherapy pool.  
I feel very refreshed and I'm off to Italy this weekend to visit one of my friends. So lots of pizza and wine for me! 

Lolalocks, don't worry. We've all been there, done that. Crying in the loo!! apart from the 9 months you have been ttc - do you have any pain/syptoms?  
remember that average time for a "normal" couple to fall pregnant is a year so try not to panic just yet (I know that's easy said!!). 

Zp - glad you are feeling a bit better love.

Kate - you you feeeling today? did the chat room help?


----------



## Griselda

Hi Julyborn

Well I'm not actually technically late at all.  Just getting a bit over excited.  

My cycle is 23-27 days.  Today is day 24.

Did the fennel wrap work then?  

Ooh Italy this weekend, you little jet setter you.  

Cool about the London meet.  

Luv
Cat


----------



## Natalina

Hello all

Just checking to see how you all are.

Julyborn - have a lovely time in Italy. Whereabouts? My dad is Italian.....

zp - hope you are well and that the emotional rollercoaster has finally subsided.....

Cat - hope you are good. any signm of the dreaded AF?

Kate - hows your new placement going? Are all the nurses nice?

Lots of love
Natalina xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi natalina - thanks the placement is going fine - everyone is nice apart from one nurse but u always get one dont u?

Hope everyone else is ok

Kate xx


----------



## Griselda

Hi All

Well   has definitely arrived.  But ah well it was nice to dream for a few hours.    Had my Day 1 bloods done this morning   and am feeling pretty fed up  .  Especially as when we got to the hospital I realised I had left my form at home.  DH kept on whining in my ear about it and then I snapped back at him that it was all his fault anyway.    Now I feel bad.  

Anyway, wished to h*ll I was at home today.  We're having our new fitted wardrobes fitted.  Just wished I'd stayed at home with DH and had a nice day together instead of sitting in boring work feeling sad!  

How is everyone?  Do you have any nice plans for the weekend?

julyborn - hope you have a great time in Italy.    I just lurve Italy !!  You lucky thing.  Whereabouts are you staying?

zp - are you okay lovely?  you're very quiet.  sending you some bubbles and some ethereal hugs  

Luv
Catharine


----------



## zp

Hi ladies,

Catharine - Sorry about AF  . At least its friday. I'm sure dh has forgiven you already, you can sunggle up on the sofa tonight. Its hard not to snap during Af even without any other stress of bloods etc. Thanks for the bubbles.

Julyborn - enjoy italy, what a jetsetter you are!!

I've had a bad few days (again), went to pub with dh last night and we were trying to make a plan for easter hols, probably visiting friends but were struggling to come up with ones without babies as I'm not sure I'd cope with a weekend. I suggested a couple that I though were a sure bet and dh said no they were pg too but he'd been too afraid to tell me. I was upset that they were and upset by what dh said. Have I become that fragile/monster? He was protecting me I know so I wasn't mad at him but at me. I guess it made me realise what a nightmare I have become. Had to go home with me crying!!! Must try to chill more. I think I'm starting to get worried about see the doc next week, which is stupid as before I was stressing about not knowing anything 

As for the weekend we are going to B and Q to choose a bathroom   the plumber came last week and gave us a quote so now we have to pick what we want and he'll get it and fit it. While we are there I think I'll get some plants for our wee yard (about 8 foot square patio and the same of grass), I do have some bulbs planted but no flowers yet so I'd like to get a bit of colour into the space  . Not as exciting as Italy but only 2 weeks till we go to malta for a whole week   

How you doing kate? Feeling better? I hope so. let us know

Lolalocks if your still watching this thread hope you are having a good day.

byee for now folks

Zp


----------



## Natalina

Hiya girls

zp - I am sorry you are feeling down. My dh used to hide the fact that his friends were having a baby from me also. It does make you feel really mad but like you said you can understand why he did it xxx

julyborn - have a great weekend xxx

cat - sorry about the af, hope it is not too painful. keep your chin up your dh has probably forgotten all about it by now - you know what men are like lol xxx

kate - hope work is ok xxx

hope all of you have a nice weekend. I hope to see my dad which should be nice.

Lots of love
Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

I'm back.
Italy was really good - thanks for asking everyone.

However, I am so so so down right now.   
Our next hospital appt is scheduled for 4th April and the DH's company have just said that his business trip to Dubai (which has been planned for months) will now be 29th March to 9th April.   
He'll also be away for his 30th birthday.   

Anyway, just called the hospital to see if I can go on the 4th on my own....... and No. 

And the next available appt is not until 16th May.   
So fed up.   
Just so sick of waiting.   
And then DH is away in June for the world cup so we probably won't be able to do anything then either.   

I just feel like this IVF is never ever going to start. 
I have had all my tests. 
I've been pocked and prodded for years. 
I know I can't have kids unless I have IVF. 
I just want to start the IVF now.  

I think I'd feel better if I knew that there was a chance I'd fall pregnant naturally and 
there was a chance that I could have a nice surprise like Natalina - but I know that ain't ever gonna happen 
cause of these stupid sodding tubes.      

Sorry girls.
Feeeling so sorry for myself and really really down.


----------



## Griselda

hi julyborn

Oh honey. You poor thing. How awful for you.

Please be assured though that your IVF *will * start and *you will * have your babies.

I think this is all just nasty old fate testing you out.

It's so awful when there are unavoidable delays. But this is just what they are - unavoidable. You can't do much about it. You are doing your best and that is all that any of us can do.

If your IVF is not to start until June then hopefully that's because that's the right time for you.

I think that when we are faced with these unmoveable obstacles that we just have to try to shrug it off and just have faith that things are just working themselves out the way that they are meant too.

So sorry for you julyborn - big ugs from me - . and sending you some bubbles too.

Are you still going out to dinner with your chum tonight? If so, I hope that cheers you up. Have a good old glug on some wine.

That London Girls meet is tonight but I drowned my sorrows a bit too much last night  and have a terrible headache so I don't know that I'll make it this time.

Luv
Cat
x


----------



## Griselda

Hi zp 

ooh you're very organised arranging your Easter now.  I haven't even thought about ours yet otherwise you'd be more than welcome to come and join us!    Luckily we have quite a few childless friends but for the last few weeks we've been being quite insular.  We'll probably end up spending our Easter in our new wardrobes!    Well that's what we did all last weekend anyway  

But hey at least we look like we've actually moved in now and it marks the end of 5 years of semi camping in our house.  It's now more like a home with all the lose piles of clothes everywhere finally neatly put away.

Have you made your plans yet?

Luv
Cat
x


----------



## zp

hi ladies

oh Julyborn, I'm sorry what terrible bad luck. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But as cat says your time will come, and you will be the most wonderfull mother I know you will - very fustrating waiting though   . heres a big   from me.

Cat glad to here about unpacking - I still have boxes I packed 6 years ago!!!! no idea what is in them. Did you find any good stuff? or just old 80's clothes?

Results tomorrow......any tips as to what to ask?  

will let you now how we get on

love Zp


----------



## Griselda

Ooh zp results tomorrow how exciting.  How are you feeling now?  I was anxious and excited and probably a whole host of other things all rolled into one.  The only way I could think to describe it was "Oooh Aaah Eeek".  Good luck!

Questions, questions, questions!  Well there are probably loads.  I have a whole long list I put together for our initial consultation at the clinic.  I'll email you them if you like but they were very specific to ISCI and our particular circumstances.

However, I would be tempted with:  "What are our chances of natural conception?"  "What are our chances with assisted conception?"  "What do you think our best options/course of action is at the moment?"  "What are the next steps?" and finally "How long is the waiting list for that?" (not that they ever know the answer to the last one really).

Ooooh good luck zp.  Will be thinking of you.  Have some more fairy dust.



Luv
Catharine
x


----------



## Kamac80

hi zp good luck for tomorrow and julyborn u poor thing xxxx

I have been looking after my godson today and he slept the whole time but i got a cuddle!!

Take care

Kate xx


----------



## Natalina

Julyborn - hope you are feeling better. Your time will come. I am sorry you are having to wait longer.

Cat - well done with the unpacking. Sometimes I cant be bothered to unpack the shopping lol

Zp - good luck today. Let us all know how you get on. My fingers and toes are crossed for you.

Kate - Your godson sounds like a really good baby. His mum is well lucky

Hope you are all well
Love 
Natalina xxx


----------



## Griselda

My turn my turn my turn.     My turn to have a rant.   

I might delete this message later when I have repented but right now I'm fuming.

I have had enough.  I'm fed up and I'm sick of it.

MESSAGE DULY DELETED HERE (AS ANTICIPATED ABOVE) OUT OF LOVE AND RESPECT FOR MY DEAR DH.

And last night he decided to have an attitude about picking up our results and really couldn't be bothered to try to fax them off there and then.  Oh do it tomorrow!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Luv
Cat


----------



## zp

Cat, 

what can I say - your rant is totally valid, this process is so fustrating and slow. its not helped if dh doesn't seem to be as bothered as you. I think we women have to do most of the organising in life especially medical things - and its just not fair. Did you know married men live longer than single men but married women live for a shorter time than single ones!! doesn't that say a lot. 

I'm very sorry to hear about your aunt.   nothing can make this easy for you but have a hug anyway.


As for our results well good news (I think) my day 2 bloods were normal as were my thiriod and pituitary function, but messed up on day 21 bloods, normally my cycle is 35ish days (so tested on d2 but typically the month we tested it was cycle was 42 days so I tested on the wrong day. Have to try again. And dh swimmers result wasn't at the docs so again we have to go back in 2 weeks.....so I'm also very fustrated but releived day 2 results were ok. More waiting!!!!!!!!   

hang in there cat, I'm sure your dh loves you very much and the 2 of you will be parents together soon. After all your ex is ex for a reason!!!!

love zp


----------



## Natalina

Hey Cat

Just sending you big hugs from me.  

Hope you feel better soon.

Natalina xxx


----------



## Griselda

Hi Chaps

I'm feeling a bit calmer now and am starting to repent   .  Poor DH, he has to be laid back in order to cope with my fits of hysteria  

zp - cool news on your early cycle bloods.    How frustrating that you have to wait again though   but hey that's the BIG NAME of this GAME - WAITING and waiting and waiting and then waiting some more.    

natasha - hi hun.  how are you doing?   

kate - hiya how are you?  

julyborn - how was last night?  did you drown your sorrows and have lots of fun?  Hope so.

Thank you everyone for being there. 



Luv
Cat


----------



## Kamac80

hi cat u poor thing and well done on having a good old rant!!

Sometimes i feel like blaming my heartache every month on my hubby as i am all fine and we know its him who has the infertility! Still i married him for him and i guess he is quite supportive and gets upset as much as i do.

I am ok hun - still on my placement so its taking my mind off a lot of things

Hope everyone else is ok?

Kate xxx


----------



## julyborn

hello loosing it ladies,

no wonder I was so fed up yesterday   A/F came today!! EARLY. 
Trust that to be early when everything else is bloody ages!!!  

Catherine, your hubby sounds like mine!  
He is soooo laid back too. But don't be fooled. 
He'll be just as anxious as you. I guess they act like that to keep our heads up. 
I mean imagine if they were like us (crying, running to loo, ranting on websites etc....)
Jesus, one of me in my house is enough thank you!!   

ZP - thanks for the hugs. I'm not usually one to rant!  
glad the day 2 bloods are looking good. 
fingers crossed for all the other results. 
My DH swimmers test wasn't ready when I went either, but I had a really good doc who managed to call that dept and get them to fax them over there and then!!  

Kate/Natalina - thanks girls for your support as always!  
and Kate, it must be hard knowing your body is fine. but believe me - it's no easier when the fault lies elsewhere. 
I constantly feel guilty that the problem lies solely with me  

Anyhow, feeling better today. 
I have now changed the hospital appt to the 16th May.  
I am now NOT going to Dubai with DH in April (as originally planned)    but instead we are planning a holiday for 20th May (our anniversary).     

......and breathe...... all is well.  

That way, I'll get all the info I need on the 16th and can run away to somewhere sunny and nice 
to take it all in and relax before we come back and hopefully start that treatment by June/July.   

So ladies... where is nice and sunny in Europe in May? any suggestions?


----------



## Kamac80

hi julyborn sorry your AF came hun xx

I sometimes wish the problem was with me then i wouldnt feel so bad each month i think!!

Kate xx


----------



## Griselda

Mornin Ladies

Just a quickie holiday suggestion:  Majorca is normally lovely in May although the sea is rather chilly at that time of year.  We often go there at the end of May for DH's birthday.  Andraix is particularly beautiful.

Have good days all.  

(All is forgiven between me and DH we're back to being all loved up again !    )

Luv
Catharine


----------



## Natalina

Hey Catharine

Glad to hear that things are better for you now xxx

We are going to Zante in May - we have never been before. Anyone who has let me know what you thought, thanks

Have a good day everyone
Natalina xxx


----------



## julyborn

Ladies,
Thanks for your messages as usual.  

Majorca. good idea! Was wondering if Spain would be warm enough. Will def look into that one. 

Zante - I went on a girly one in 2000.  
If you steer away from Laganas it'll be lovely!! 
I really love the greek islands.


----------



## Griselda

Howdy again ladies

I've got time for a bit more of a post now as its lunchtime.  But gosh I've hardly settled down to any work today yet at all.  Eeek.  

Do you know, I have decided, upon reflection, that it is best to plan all your holidays as normal and then work your treatments/appts around the hols.  We have missed out on two, much planned and pined for, trips due to waiting waiting and waiting on appts and what's going to happen next.  We seem to keep waiting for that next bit of information in order to make plans.  And then that next bit of information leads to a wait for the next bit of information and etc etc etc ad infinitum.   

The problem is you never know what is going to happen or when with this journey and so I think you can quite easily end up never having a nice break.

We have more delays now.  Two of DH's blood tests that the clinic want before they will go ahead with our treatment will now take much longer than we were originally told they would.  One won't be ready until after 30th March as apparently the results take 6 weeks and not 2-3 weeks as we were originally told.  And the other, after initially having had it done on the NHS, they have now advised that the results are only available privately!    So we have to have it done again privately and then wait another two weeks for the results.  Arg it just goes on and on.   

This probably all means that we could have quite easily planned, booked and gone on our nice trip to Australia without impacting on our treatment much at all.  Why did I let anyone talk me out of it  

It's unbelievable when I think back to our last hol in September last year.  There we were strolling along the beach deciding that we would seek private treatment and discussing how we would probably undergo our first cycle in November of that same year and now here we are some 6 whole months later and we still haven't started yet!  

Goodness it is all just so frustrating. 

Also, I only found out about the above delays by hounding the poor receptionist at our GP's surgery.  

Anyway that's my news.

Luv
Catharine


----------



## zp

good afternoon

Sorry about AF julyborn - hope you are coping ok  . My favorate choice would be somewhere in southern italy - the food and wine are just soooooo good there. . Thinking back maybe I should have been more assertive at the docs, but  its hard not to just nod. This is not what I am normally like but there is something about the docs, maybe I'm embarrased I don't know - I have no problem being majorly assertive over bad service elsewhere eg shops etc. We are going again in 2 weeks so thats not too long to wait!

Cat sorry to hear about new delays   , I agree you can't not plan stuff - last year we didn't go anywhere just in case I was pg, this year I'm determined to holiday whatever - its a double whammy if you miss out on stuff and still don't get pg. I figure if I need treatment I'll organise it round a break and if I get pg I'll be so happy I won't mind cancelling everything.

anyhow better do soem work eh 

love for now 
Zp


----------



## julyborn

well its certainly the week for delays and set back isn't it ladies!!    

me with my appt date
zp with the test results
catherine with blood tests

hey lets all just sod off on hols together!      

I agree it's horrible not being able to plan ahead. 
But I thnk Zp has made a very good point that if we book and have to cancel - we'll be so stupidly happy that we wonlt care about any loss of money at all!!   

I mean if we all knew we'd be in this situation we would probably been putting money away for IVF and would not have done half of the lovely things we have!   

So lets agree - live for today!     
by the way, been looking on net at that place in Majorca - looks stunning!! and just my type actually. Catherine, you know me so well without even knowing me (if you catch my drift).

anyway, nearly the end of another day at work and FRIDAY TOMORROW!!!


----------



## zp

ok, I'm starting my live for today, today and leaving work early for the pub!!!!!  

till tomorrow ladies
Zp
xx


----------



## Kamac80

hi ladies hope u r all ok?

This wont be a very long post as just finished my 10 hour shift which was really good today but hubby is waiting at the pub for me!!

Everything else is fine - just taking life as it comes now  

Kate xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Griselda

Good Morning Lovely Ladies  

Just a quickie this morning as I've got to really concentrate and get some work done after yesterday.

Kate & zp hope you had a good time at the pub last night!     

Yes good call you young ladies regarding booking of holidays, etc.  It's definitely the right way to go.  But for me being that bit older at 39 we did (sadly) make the decision that the F treatment is our first priority definitely for at least this year and then we'll see how things turn out.  We do really have to give this thing our full attention for now while we still have a chance.    Because from 40 the success rates for ICSI and IVF drop dramatically.  So okay we may well have until I'm about 42 to carry on trying (so 3 years all in all) but I think we need to get the treatment we need as soon as possible in order to maximise our chances.  It's a shame and mother nature can be cruel as if we could possibly wait another 2 years and have some fun together with lots of trips and adventures then we would.  But there's just no time left.  So I guess I just have to resolve myself to the fact that this year is about babies and that's that.  So no more adventures for us just yet.  Ah well.    But it doesn't mean that I can't have a good old moan on what else we're missing out on as a result !!!!      

Hope you all have lovely weekends.  

lots of luv
Catharine
  x

P.S.  julyborn - yes Port de Andraix is beautiful but with just the one drawback that there's no real beach there as its a harbour.  But the sunsets are absolutely stunning and there are lots of bars and restaurants you can sit in by the boats and watch it.  It's beautiful!  (Oh I said that before eh? )


----------



## steph33

hi girls 
nice to here you all keeping ur spirits high i put off booking a hol for the last 3yrs and i thought well if i book and have to cancel coz ive have got the BFP then it will be worth loosing the hol and i booked last june and we r set go go on our hols  1st june so fingers crossed as things r looking we r finally going to get our holiday tha twe all so desperatly need 
go for it girls book ur holiday think of it this way if you dont get the BFP the u so desperatly want then  at least u can have  a couple of wks just relaxing as u want  and if your dream does come true and u get the BFP then is is worth loosing ur holiday
good luck to you all 
steph


----------



## zp

Hello

yes had fun last night - struggling a bit today but not long to go now  

Totally understand your possition cat - maybe its lastminuite.com for you one weekend??

Kate hope you are coping with 10 h shifts sounds pretty hard core - take care hun

hello steph, nice to hear from you.....

hows you julyborn?

hope everyone has a good weekend

love Zp xxxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi zp the 10 hour shifts are ok - i am surviving!!

The pub was good last nite - actually stayed on diet coke! How sad is that?!! Still i played some pool and lost and played some darts and won!!!

Take care and have a great weekend!

Kate xx


----------



## julyborn

hi everyone,

how was your weekend? 
everyone doing ok? 

I'm in good spirits today as we booked the holiday. Going to Majorca, Puerto Andratx (cheers Catherine!!!  )

so I'm off on my first wedding anniversary in May.  4 days after my next hospital appt.  

At last, something to concentrate on looking forward to!!  

Kate - I had an alcohol free weekend too! after the last 2 weekends of being away, I took it easy this one. I actually found it really easy! Although, I can't say I'll be tee total from now on!! hope those 10h shifts are not too hard on you...

Zp - I'm doing good girl. How are you bearing up? Do you get DHs results this week? When you off to Malta? 

Hi Steph - glad you have a holiday booked too! 

Natalina - how are you feeling?  

Must crack on - Monday morning and all that.......


----------



## Griselda

Morning Lovely Loosing It Ladies

I too hope that you all had nice weekends.  DH and I did.  

Cool Julyborn re hol.  Hope you enjoy it.  If you get the chance to hire a car or go for a day trip - go for lunch in Deia.  It too is stunning.  Its a little village in the hills and is gorgeous.  Lots of lovely restaurants with verandas over looking the valley below.  Perfect for a romantic lunch (its a bit dark at nighttime and you can't appreciate the view so much so not so good for Dinner.    ) 
zp - I think my F treatment is a lastminute.com job let alone anything else  

However, today, again I'm feeling a bit sad.     Just had a little controlled tear at my desk.  Feel so so sad that I'm not going to Australia.  Sorry I keep harking on about it.  However, if I can't hark on here - where can I ?    It's going to be really bad when the actual dates come up.  I should never have let Mum and DH talk me out of it.  Ah well.  We can't see into the future.  And maybe there is a reason.

We are off to Barcelona on Thursday but this feels all very last minute!  Just bought some guides at lunch today.  I do like to plan ahead and get the most from things and enjoy every minute of anticipation so feel like I'm missing out a bit there too.  

Have my mid-cycle scan at the clinic tomorrow and DH has to have a blood test (one of the ones the NHS did and then refused to do - duh !   )

Anyone have any happy news?

Luv
Catharine


----------



## julyborn

ahhhh Catherine,
I'm sorry to hear that you shed a tear today.  
And of course you are in the right place to sound off about how ****ing annoying it is that you cannot go to Oz.    

I don't want to sound like a complete space fairy here - but what will be will be. 
I do believe in fate and if you are meant to go to Oz, you will get there one way or another some day.
I think there is a reason for every decision we make.
Get me sounding all Mystic Meg - more like Septic Peg!! 

Hey and Barcelona eh?!!  
"Espero que usted tenga un tiempo asombroso y lo goza. ¡Coma mucha paella y la bebida mucha sangría!"  

good luck with the scan and blood test tomorrow.  

Happy news - its home time!!!


----------



## Griselda

Coo check you out Ms flashy pants with the old Espanol    Very Impressive.

Gracias.  Pero, excusa.  Que es 'lo goza'?  No comprendo 'lo goza'.  

Yes I agree with your synopsis.  What more could I add except - Space Fairies Are Us  

Have lovely evenings chaps.

Luv
Cat


----------



## Kamac80

hello girlies hope u r all ok?

My weekend was good - as i had the weekend off i spent most of it in the pub as usual!! And yes i stayed on diet coke!!

Yay julyborn u have your holiday booked!!

I am all ok - hubby thinks he has Meningitis Bird Flu!!!! lol

Kate xxx


----------



## Natalina

Hello everyone

I had a good weekend. Mr and dh went to Newcastle for a 50th birthday party and then we went to footie on Sunday. We won which was good.

Hope you are all feeling better this week. 

Julyborn, you speak a lot of sense and you are defo right. What will be will be. 

Cat, maybe a better oppurtunity will arise around the time you are supposed to be going to OZ....you never know!!!

Zp, when is your next test results due. Glad about the 2 day ones thats good news. Long may it continue.

Kate, how is dh bird flu coming along......

Hope you all have a great tuesday
Love
Natalina xxx


----------



## Griselda

Well just got back to work after clinic.  This time DH had to have needle in arm too - hey hey - worth all of the £150 it cost!!  (Aren't I evil !      ).

I had my dildocam mid-cycle scan all A okay again.  Dr was really nice too much better than last time.

Well looks like I'm definitely well and truly on the ICSI roller coaster now.  That's worth not going to Oz for I spose.    

And it looks as if nothing is to mess up our weekend in Barcelona.  So Yey   happy days.

Hey zp - are you okay honey?

Luv
Cat


----------



## julyborn

Great news Catherine. ICSI go go go!!
Please to hear that it's a happy day  
oh and Que es 'lo goza'? =  "enjoy it" 

Natalina - glad to hear that you are feeling good. Parties and footy matches eh?! no sickness yet then? 

Kate - is that fella of yours still clucking about bird flu?  (see what I did there - so hilarious I am....) 

Zp - you are quiet. hope you are doing alright?


----------



## ed

welcome zp i am sorry you are having a bad time you will get lots of support on here, do not give up hope.    take care ED


----------



## Kamac80

hi girls - hubby must be ok now as he has gone to the pub!!

Been doing my essay today - as usual it needs to be posted tomorrow and ive left it to today to start it!! Basically i have bullsh**ed my way through it in the hope i just pass!!!

Hope u are all ok? 

Kate xxx


----------



## julyborn

girls where are you? 

need your help. 

I asked around the office for advice on what to get DH for his 30th birthday coming up.

Some smart alec suggested "get up the duff, that'll be a nice surprise for him". 
Ha - wouldn't it just. It'd be a nice surprise for me too!  

Totally made me feel like crap.  
And he has no idea what he did with that one throw away comment. 
Of course, I could not tell him so I am sitting here in silence. I'm so sad.


----------



## Natalina

Hey julyborn

Sorry to hear you are sad. You should have told the **** that you cant have kids you used to be a man!!! that might have shut him up. Some ppl can be so insensitive. 

For your DH, what does he like doing normally? What hobbies does he have? and how long till his birthday?

Keep smiling
Love
Natalina xxx


----------



## GuitarAngel1979

We all of these days!  Stay positive!! I'm here if you need a chat nonetheless  Just PM me  

Amanda xx


----------



## Kamac80

hi girls how r u all? It seems to have gone quiet on here? I havnt been about for a few days as been working so much and went to the rugby yesturday and we lost!!!

But the best news is that READING FC are in the PREMIERSHIP next season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So i got very very very very very drunk last nite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry girls - i am ok now!! hee hee!!

Hows everyone then?

Love kate xxxxx


----------



## julyborn

Hello Guitar Angel - thanks for your message. 

Hi Kate,
Hi Natalina,
Hi Everyone,

I am feeling a little better now after my moment last week! 

I think ZP is in Malta maybe?  

Catherine - how was Barcelona?


----------



## Griselda

Hello Lovely Loosing It Ladies

Well we're back from Barcelona and very tired!  It was hot hot hot.  We enjoyed ourselves but I don't think we shall be rushing back there.  

However, we arrived home to a bit of a dilema which I shall bore you with.     (Please excuse me but it may help me to write it down and share it with you  ).

Our NHS appt for IVF finally came through and out of the blue!    There are two of them, one for DH's SA and a general initial consultation for us both.  Now DH's SA has to be done before the joint consultation (why he has to do it again for the umpteenth time heaven only knows    ).  DH's SA was set for this Saturday 1st April (less than a week's notice!   ) and the one for us both is on 11th April.  On Saturday 1st April I have my much awaited Degree Ceremony Award in London   .  For DH to make the SA appt he would have to leave me at the Ceremony straight after it finishes and probably before I have queued to have my photo taken.  He will then have to rush down from central London to Canterbury for the appt and give a SS on site.  All of this he will have to do on no sleep as he is currently on nights and can't get any time off   .  Also we were planning a special celebratory lunch at the Oxo Tower after the ceremony that would have to be abandoned.  Subsequently, we called to try to rearrange the appt but they said the next available slot is in JUNE !!!      

We have more or less begun our treatement privately now.  I have just completed my monitored cycle and should get a call later today with the next details of treatment.  

So what do we do?  Here are my pros and cons.

Pros for delaying NHS appts until June:-

1.  I get to have the Degree Award day we had planned and I deserve after all my hard work and achievement.  
2.  We have more or less started private treatment now do we really want to chop and change at the last minute?  
3.  The private clinic has better results than the NHS so we are more likely to be successfull there.  
4.  The private clinic is more convenient for treatment.  
5.  If the private treatment is unsuccesfull then I have the security of knowing we have one free go already and waiting for us on the NHS.  
6.  If we go along for our initial consultation NHS appt in April and have to admit to starting private treatment (dependant on treatment times) then we may well have to go right to the back of the NHS queue again if we're not successfull privately.    
7.  If we abandon our private place now we may have to have the treatment we have already had all done all over again and pay for it again.    
8.  If we abandon our private place now we may have to go back to the back of this queue too (about 3 months).   

Cons for delaying the NHS appts until June:-

1.  We may potentially miss out on getting our free cyle on the NHS.  
2.  The private treatment is going to cost us about 8,000.  If we abandon our private place now we might be successfull on the NHS and save this money.  

We made the decision to go with the NHS appt in June and looking at the above, I think we made the right choice because essentially it's not about the money but 
about the babies eh?      

How is everyone else?  Did you have good weekends?

Love
Catharine

P.S.  Phew.  I'm sure glad I got that lot off my chest.  Believe me I was crying into a tea towel yesterday


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## julyborn

Goodness Catherine! Good to heave you back love     

Now - let me get this right..... 

you are going for your NHS appt in June?   GOOD IDEA  . 
You should enjoy your degree award day to the max and June is only 8 weeks away. 
You've waited this long - 8 weeks won't make that much difference in the grand scale of things.

so are you stopping the private one? have you paid for anything yet? 

I definately think that you should do the NHS one.  
The IVF procedure will be the same and your body will act the same towards the treatment whether Dr Private or Dr NHS is doing it - right? 

I had to put back my appt by 6 weeks because of DH being away, and although at a huge disruption to his company he could have stayed in the UK for the appt - at the end of the day for the sake of 6 weeks it just seemed too much hassle for all involved. 
Also, I'd constantly be thinking that I stopped him from gonig to Dubai and I'd feel guilty and then I'd get stressed - the worst possible thing to be when starting IVF!!  

My outlook is basically to make things as easy and stress free as poss to help chances of success - so that does not mean darting across London to Canterbury to give a SS and missing a wonderful lunch at the Oxo Tower!!! 

have you had all your blood tests done with NHS yet?
At our first consultation (31st Jan), that was the first thing they did - sent me and DH off for lots of blood tests.
The next appt for me comes 8 weeks after (should have been April but now 16th May) this is where they tell us about the reaults of all the blood test and then decide what drugs I'll need. After that we get the info session, and if I am correct (reading up on the IVF strand) downregging usually starts a few weeks after the info session.


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## Griselda

Hi Julyborn 

Thx for the reply.  Sorry my post confused even me   - hence the crying in the tea towel yesterday.        

We decided to postpone the very sudden 1st April NHS appt that we were notified of just yesterday.  The next date they can give us is in June!  We have already started initial investigations privately.  Ooh and yes I think we must have spent at least about 500 pounds with them already (oh the pound sign on my keyboard doesn't seem to be working for some reason   )

However, got a call from our private clinic today after my blood test with them this morning and I'm starting downregging on Thursday.      Wow!      Seems so strange that I'm finally here after all that waiting!  

That was what the whole sacrifice over the Australia trip was all about because the private treatment had come through and I'm 39 with no time to lose.

It sounds from your experiences then like the NHS will be quite long winded even if/when we start with them in June or even if we had abandoned the private and started with them in April instead.   

Ooh I'm lovin the    emoticon today aren't I !

Have lovely evenings ladies.

Luv
Catharine


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## zp

Hello, loosing it ladies  

Sorry for the abandonment - I ment to say bye before heading off to Malta but work just got too hectic , then I had to run to the plane. So now I'm back, had a fantastic time, it was sunny everyday   . Ate lots and drank a moderate amount??  DH said it was nice to see me smile for a change . Went for lots of walks on the coast, slept late and read 3 books. Not much pink enough on the face to make everyone at work jelous .

What fantastic news Cat starting your downreg on thurs, good luck girl. Keep us posted - I bet you are nervous/excited. Glad you managed a break in barcalona, I love it there I went with my mum a couple years ago, so many amazing buildings (and shopping). And you can go to the graduation which you deserve. Sounds like this is the beginng of something very good for you  .

Julyborn ohhhh I could swipe that insensitive workmate of yours - don't suppose you have any influence over their work load  . If its not a sore subject, have you decided what to give dh? 

Kate, still working hard, still partying ? not quacking yourself yet I hope.

Natalina, hope you are looking after yourself.

We are getting dh results on friday (I will make a fuss if they are not there this time as they were done 4 weeks ago).

Trying to  keep holiday karma but havn't got to work yet!

Speak soon
love

Zp

PS. I have to admit to missing you all while away and wondering how you were. Does that make sense to anyone else ?


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## steph33

hi ladies 
this is only my 2nd time on this thread but i had to come bak as i feel like im going mad the stress of everything is really getting to me again ,for a while i  thought i was getting bak on track then each time i go to the hosp i just get more set baks and i take it out on DP all the time  
i set a thread last wk on the felationship page and i left my DP a note wen i went to work asking him to read all the messages which explained to him how i have been feeling and it seems to ov worked he hadnt realised that i was letting things get to me again so living in hope that by DP reading the thread he will be able to understand more even if all i gain by it is theat i get more cuddles and he shows me that im not going through all this on my own coz that is how ive been feeling
well we have got 9wks and 2days to go b4 we go on hoilday and i carnt wait coz we really do need the break
just to think i nearly wasnt going to book this hoilday incase i got my BFP 
so hopefuly we can relax on the hol and maybe
 
steph


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## julyborn

You're back. You're back. You're back ZP!!    

We missed you too!
So pleased to hear that your holiday put a smile on your face   
I often talk to DH about our thread and he finds it hilarious that we all natter away, having never met, and using symbols and code language!   
But he is just glad to hear that we all help each other out.
He calls it my FF family. 

Catherine - Thursday!!! ie tomorrow!!!     
wow! I got butterfiles for you when I read that!
I am sooo excited and we'll be here every step of the way so please give us regular reports if you can!!
Hopefully I won't be that long behind you!   

Steph - welcome back
Sounds like this holiday is very much needed. Keep your chin up. That was a great idea to ket DP read your threads and I hope that you are feeling a little better.  

Natalina/Kate/Guitar Angel - hows things?


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## Griselda

Hi ZP welcome back    

We missed you too !  Group hug !



Julyborn - that's so sweet of you to have butterflies for me.  I'm not sure how I feel.  A bit dazed for the moment I think  .  Have you decided what to get your DH yet?

Hi Steph - Lovely to have you back.  Oh the set backs    aren't they just awful   you poor thing.  I do know how it feels having had a fair few of my own.  Sometimes it feels like the wait will just go on forever.  I have found that boys really need things spelled out to them.  So I make sure I explain all my feelings fully to my DH no matter how mad or bad they are.  And if he doesn't listen then he gets a bit of a spiky tongue lashing from me and so lives to regret it   .  Sounds from your profile that you've been having a bit of a tough time of it too you poor thing.  A holiday sounds nice.  Where are you off to?

Hi Kate - How are you getting on?  What's your goss?

Lots of luv
Catharine


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## julyborn

hey - I just found the "quick reply" bit at the bottom of the page.
Am I being blonde here? Has it always been there?!!
but I can't see how to do the smileys!!

Still no idea what to get DH for his big 3-0 - nightmare!! it's on Monday too.
And then he flies to Dubai for 11 days on the 4th (boo hoo lonely old wife)


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## zp

Hi

I'd like to say its good to be back BUT its raining and I have to work so its not really.  

I know, I saw the quick reply the other day and I have no idea how to put on emotiocons (which are half the fun) so I see no point in using it.  Maybe an experienced user can help us?

Good luck for tommorow Cat - everything is crossed   

Hello steph - like all the other girls my dh has to put up with me, my moods, my tears - and he's so good at that. I think thats quite alot without understanding everything about why too . I try to spell stuff out but they are simple beings and as long as he's ready with a hug I try not to worry too much and just rant on this web site instead (thats the theory but I've been known to shout you don't even want a baby do you!! at him - which I know hurts him alot as he really does). He also finds it funny that I'm so adicted to this site  

goodnight

love Zp


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## Natalina

Hello all

Sorry I havent been in touch for a while. Starting to get quite sick in the evenings so dont feel like being on the computer..... 

How are you all doing

Cat - I am so excited for you. Today is the big day. Hope all goes well... xxx

julyborn and zp - hope you are both well.

Just wanted to check in with a hello

Lots of love
Natalina xxxx


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## DizziSquirrel

*

You Ladies are due a new thread.

 Would you like a new name 

If you'd like to think of one post it here
and either Lizzy b or I will spot it 
and start you a new thread by that title.
  

~Dizzi~
*​


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## julyborn

ooooooh how exciting!!!

Can we be the "Loosing It Ladies" please please please girls?

Or do any of you have a good name for our thread?

Catherine?
Zp?
Kate?
Natalina?


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## zp

ohhhh how exciting
oh course it has to be "loosing ladies" what else could it be.

And a special hello to our downreg girl Cat,  

byee for now
Zp


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## Natalina

Hey all

I agree with you all. loosing ladies it is.

Hey downregger......

Natalina xxx


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## Kamac80

hi ladies - i am still here in the land of the living but so much has been happening!!

Yes i agree to have a new thread called "loosing it ladies"

U lot will have to keep me up as my brain is mush at the moment!! So who is downregging at the moment?

No plans with me girls baby wise - just having lots of sex and some fun for a change!! Sorry if tmi

Take care

Kate xxxx


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## Griselda

Hey Cooool !  Yes.  Yes.  'Loosing It Ladies' please.  

Also, I was thinking, could we possibly go into a new conference rather than 'Introductions and Starting Out' ?  As we're not really 'starting out' anymore, are we?  What do you think?  Is that possible Dizzi?

Hey ladies I just had my first sniff !  But I do have some concerns though which I shall bore you with later.  

Luv
Catharine


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## Kamac80

hi catherine hope u are ok hun?

Yes i agree we should maybe be in another conference possibly the starting out and diagnosis or meeting places? I dont actually know!!! 

Take care

Kate xxx


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## Griselda

Starting Out and Diagnosis sounds good Kate.  

I also thought of the Girls Chat board too.

I'm fine feeling woozier by the second.  Hope I don't konk out on the train home.  Finding it difficult to concentrate too.


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## zp

Hey cat, take care on the way home - must mean its working though   

Dizzi - Move us any which way I'm easy   

everyone else, enjoy your evenings - I'm at the docs first thing for dh results (if they get there this time) I have reminded dh to ring and ask at the docs today so they can chase them in advance so I hope he has - trying hard not to nag and take over  . I'm nervous as I'm not sure how he'll be if they are bad - I think he feels like a failing man already (not that he'd say this).


love Zp


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## DizziSquirrel

*  Loosing it Ladies  
You have a new home....... 
This Link will take you straight there, it is in Starting out and Diagnosis. 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,53143.msg701787.html#msg701787

Wishing you all  loads of Luck  
*​


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