# Hi there, i'm new to the website



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi there

I've just joined the website.  I'm 37, have been trying to conceive for 3 years with no successes.  Recently began attending an infertility clinic in Lanarkshire. Blood tests/hormone levels/transvaginal scan all indicated that I am ovulating. DP's sperm count okay.  Had a laparascopy this week (still recovering)Results of this not good.  Consultant advised me that I have only 1 fallopian tube and that my only tube has adhesions due to infection.  I'm shell shocked at the moment that I cannot conceive naturally.  I'm due to see consultant next week for a follow up appointment.  IVF may be the only option, however in Glasgow there is a year long waiting list to be seen at clinic.  I feel my time is running out.  I'm going through so many emotions just now and trying to come to terms with my diagnosis.  The website seems very supportive and makes you realise that you are not the only one with infertility problems.

FionaG
x


----------



## nicolah (Sep 14, 2004)

Hi Fiona,

I'm originally from Airdrie, although living "Down South"  for 11 years now. The site is really great and you will find any information you need here. 
At the beginning of my IF I also had various laparoscopies which showed I had endo, one of my tubes was blocked and I had lots of adhesions, and I'll never forget when I was told that I would need IVF to conceive. It's really hard but you do come to terms with it. We are not alone and you will see from this site that there are lots of women getting pg against the toughest odds. 
Now following a Laparotomy in Nov last year my cons has said there is a chance I can now conceive naturally (although I'm not holding my breath!!) I will probably have FET later in the year as I have 5 frosties on ice from previous ICSI. I don't know how things work up there but down here you can be seen much quicker if you go for private treatment (-if this is an option ).

Take care and pamper yourself for a while, it's a lot to take in 

Nicolaxx


----------



## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hi FionaG
Sorry to hear your news, we will all know exactly how you are feeling right now and will do our very best to help you if we can, I really hope you can get the IVF sooner, you are not alone  
Take care and good luck
Dydie xx


----------



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi Fiona,

Sorry to hear your bad news.  It is really hard to cope sometimes but you'll get loads of support and information on this site.  I'm in Glasgow too, unexplained IF and waiting to be referred for IVF. The waiting is hard but at least you're taking positive steps.

Wish I had something more useful to say but I'll be thinking of you and sending you a big  .

Take Care.

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## *lisalou* (Mar 11, 2005)

hi fiona
welcome 2 ff. im really sorry about ur tube hun i know its hard as i went through the same 2 yrs ago, i had bilateral hydrisalpinx and had both tubes removed and my only hope is through treatment, we had 2 failed ivf lasy yr and we r now having icsi. i hope i havnt scared u anymore, dont let what i went through upset u anymore as everyone is different and ur case hopefully wont be as bad as that. fingers crossed 4 u and goodluck.
love lisa xxx


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Lisa

Thankyou for your kind reply.  I'm sorry to hear what you have had to go through.  That must be difficult.  Good luck with the icsi.  My fingers are crossed 4 u. What you have said hasn't scared me as I am feeling pretty negative about things at the moment anyway.  Hopefully I will feel better emotionally through time but its difficult.

love Fiona xx


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Mitzi said:


> Hi Fiona,
> 
> Sorry to hear your bad news. It is really hard to cope sometimes but you'll get loads of support and information on this site. I'm in Glasgow too, unexplained IF and waiting to be referred for IVF. The waiting is hard but at least you're taking positive steps.
> 
> ...


Hi Rachel

Thanks for you kind reply. As you say the waiting is hard. I wish you luck with your referral and treatment. Do you happen to know if there are any infertility support groups being held in Glasgow?

Love Fiona xx


----------



## jayb (Apr 22, 2005)

Hi Fiona

You are certanly not alone. I have only recently been told I won't conceive naturally through adhesions from 4 major surgeries it is hard and your emotions are every where. But you can get a huge amount of support from the girls here they are all fantastic. My DP and I are just waiting for our appointment for IVF, it is scarey and exciting at the same time.

I send you   and wish you and you DH lots of luck and hope for the future. I hope your wait won't be too long.

Love Jayb xx


----------



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi Fiona,

Finally got around to replying to your query about support groups - I am so crap  .

Anyway, I haven't been to a support group myself but know that there is a support group called Glasgow Cradle which is held on the first thursday of every month at 7pm at either the Glasgow Nuffield Hospital or Glasgow Royal Infirmary.  For full details check the website www.assistedconception.org/cradle

I hope this helps.  Take Care.  

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Rachel

Thank you for the info about the support group   I had my consultation last week and I my only option is IVF.  I am to be referred to glasgow royal - have been advised that the waiting list is 14 months long! 

Take care
love fiona xxx


----------



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi Fiona,

Sorry to hear that you didn't get better news   but at least you know where you're at and can look forward now.  14 months seems like a long time now, I know.  I'm expecting to be referred there when I see gynae in August and it feels like everything is taking forever.  Try to keep positive   even though it is hard at times

Is going private an option for you at all?  I know at least some clinics offer loans to help pay for tx over a set period rather than up front.  The Nuffield Hospital in Glasgow offers an interest free loan to fund treatment which might help you to have tx sooner rather than waiting.  Their website gives more details and contacts if you are interested even in just getting more information.  If we are going for IVF it is certainly an option we'd consider.

Take care, I hope you're having a good weekend.

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Rachel

Yes I do now feel that hopefully things may be moving on but it is the wait.  I'm sorry to hear about your wait but at least once you've seen the gynae things will move on for you. Have you been previously advised that IVF is your only option? I was advised that IUI may be the best treatment for me (before they discovered that I had blocked tubes).  I am considering the option of private treatment.  I know that the Nuffield provide this, but did not realise that they offer interest free loans - thanks for that info.  If we do go private we can only afford one treatment cycle, and I know that it may take several treatment cycles before IVF is successful.  I will try and keep positive .  I will keep you posted about what I decide to do

I hope that you are having a nice weekend.  I'm having a lazy one which involves indulging in lots of chocolate and tv  

Take care
love fiona xxx


----------



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi Fiona,

Your weekend sounded great  .  I spent mine studying Strategic Business Planning & Development.  Actually more interesting that is sounds but still study none the less!  I have an exam a week today and then three the week after so life revolves around study just now.    Will be worth it in the end in I pass though!

Gynae told me he would be referring me for IVF as I am the 'perfect candidate' apparently.  Don't really know what that means and didn't have thought to ask at time as he spoke to me just after my lap & dye and not really quite with it then!  I'm thinking about going private for first cycle and use interest free loan if IVF is my best option as I feel like the waiting is forever sometimes and, as you know that is extremely frustrating!!  Only problem is dh doesn't think it all that bad to wait as long as we get it on NHS so may be few disagreements there!  

Not sure about funding issues as still pretty new to all this but do you think it may be possible to remain on waiting list for NHS tx while funding 1st cycle privately?  Don't really know but perhaps someone on IVF board would have more idea.  Everyone is lovely on that board - I asked about waiting lists in Glasgow vs Aberdeen as we've been thinking of moving and got quick helpful response.  Result - we're probably not moving as NHS waiting lists in Aberdeen are years long!!

It's hard isn't it?  You think that deciding to ttc is the biggest decision you'll face and now you're faced with decisions of what treatment?  Where?  NHS or Private?  What can we afford? .....the list goes on.  Just remember, even if you just want a sympathetic ear, I'm here for you.

Take Care.

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Rachel

Nice to hear from you again.  I hope your studying is going well.  It will be worth it in the end.  I know that feeling of exams - I spent most of my 20's with my head deep in books.  Your studies sound pretty impressive.

It sounds like your gynae is being very positive for you which is great news.  That is good about your thoughts of going private for first cycle. Fingers crossed that your DH will come round to it.  If you decide to go down the private route dont worry about NHS waiting list - my gynae reassured me that you will still remain on NHS waiting list if you go private.  He also advised that if you go private with GRI you have to wait one year to be seen!! At least with the Nuffield you can get seen pretty quickly.  I cant believe that Aberdeen has such a big waiting list.  I phoned up GRI today to inquire about their waiting list - it is 12 -14 months long, no matter your age or diagnosis . After the phone call all my emotions - sadness, anger, - came flooding back to me.  I have been really good for the past few days as well.  As you say this whole business is so difficult. I guess that I feel scared about the prospect of going through IVF and it not working out.  My DH is supportive but he doesn't understand the emotions surrounding infertility.  I'd better stop here before I rant on!!  Thanks for listening to me.  I'm also here with a sympathetic ear so dont hesitate to get in touch with me if you want to talk about anything

Best of luck with your exams  

Take care
Fionaxxx


----------



## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Hope you don't mind me dropping in, but just wanted to say that if you are considering going self-funded for IVF and thinking of Aberdeen, the self-funded waiting list is pretty short.  After our initial consultation there, we could have started pretty much straightaway although we decided to wait for a while.  After our first -ve cycle earlier this year, we had a review appointment about 6 weeks later, and could have started a new cycle that month (although we have decided to wait a couple of months).  Don't know how going self-funded affects NHS entitlement, however, as I am so ancient that I was not eligible for NHS funding!


----------



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi Fiona, Ellie,

Fiona, studies do sound quite impressive but not that impressive really. Am working on Professional Accountancy qualification - all being well will be fully qualified after these exams!

It is scary that IVF might not work and feels hard to get a balance sometimes between positive thinking and preparing yourself for the worst just in case. We try to keep positive but I try to look at what would happen if we can't have our own baby as I like to be prepared for every eventuality... but as we know it is not always that easy.

Dh tends to be more positive than me, he reckons that we really shouldn't start worrying yet, if we're not pg in another 3yrs then we should worry! I know he is trying to stay positive but the 2yrs we've been ttc have already been so hard. First I thought it was my body taking a while to get over being on the pill for 10 years but then reality hit in and the first time the Dr mentioned the word *INFERTILITY* to me, I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart  Dh is not the one who is so acutely aware of every day in my cycle and doesn't seem to appreciate how heartbreaking it is each and every time af arrives. Like you say, they try to be supportive but they just don't quite get the emotional side of it.

Ellie, thanks for your message. Apparently you get two NHS funded IVF cycles in Aberdeen but any self-funded tries are deducted from this. Don't know if that is same in Glasgow but am nervous to lose any NHS tries in case I need them. Good luck with your next cycle  

Take care.

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## DC (May 9, 2005)

Hi Fiona, Rachel and Ellie,  

I hope you don't mind me joining in too.  I've just read what you were saying about private treatment versus NHS and I'm currently going through that whole dilemma so I thought I'd join in.

We've been ttc for 2 years and have been told that our IF is unexplained and therefore we can't be referred for IVF on the NHS until we've been ttc for 3 years.  We live in the North East and we've been told the waiting list once we're on it is 2-5 years.  We haven't been given any other options like IUI so far but I'm going to look into it when I get back from my holiday (we go next Friday can't wait!!!).  I'm not sure if we'd have to try for another year to be considered for IUI too or even if the NHS offer it in our area.  It's such an mine field trying to get to the bottom of all the information, everywhere seems so different, it would be really helpful if things were more standard.  I've been giving a lot of thought to private tx, and seem to be having the same issue as you Rachel, with DH not being too convinced.  He says he'll consider us saving for it but won't consider getting into debt because if it didn't work we'd be left with a debt to pay which would make the whole thing a lot worse.  I see where he's coming from and had I known that it was going to go on this long I'd have been saving for the last 2 years, but the difficulty with unexplained IF is you're constantly told that it could happen naturally any time, so up until now the thought of giving up going on holiday etc seemed like a bad idea as we were optimistic that it could happen naturally.  Now that it hasn't I'm running out of patience and just want to get on with things, and as you say the watching every day of your cycle makes it so much more emotionally draining for us ladies.  Don't get me wrong my DH deserves a medal for how wonderful he is especially on my crazier days, but we just don't seem to have the same view on this bit.

Anyway I just wanted to say hi and wish you all luck with everything and trying to get to the bottom of the what's available and where and making decisions on how to go forward.

Rachel good luck with your exams, my DH is taking his post grad marketing exams next week I think his stress levels have reached an all time high bless him but at least we'll have a holiday to help him recover straight afterwards.

We've got two family parties this weekend, (one mine one DH's) where we are the token "childless couple" should be interesting, wish me luck.

Thanks for listening to me rambling and if anyone finds any solid arguments to convince DH to go private let me know.

Have a lovely weekend

DC xx


----------



## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

I didn't have the NHS/self-funded dilemma as I was so old by the time that I decided that I needed to give treatment a try that I had passed the cut-off point in our area!!!  However, when thinking about the cost of self-funding, I try to remind myself that if it works, the cost of treatment will be a drop in the ocean compared to the costs of bringing up a child for 18 years (and more!).  I found this reasoning worked very well on DH when I was persuading him that we should go ahead with paying for treatment.  In fact, when I was complaining recently that we had poured money down the drain with our first treatment (was having a negative day), he reminded me about the much higher costs of bringing up a child as if it had been him who thought of this in the first place!  

It does depend, however, on your own circumstances, and of course one cycle is unlikely to be enough (unless you are very lucky) so you may end spending more than the initial £3,000. 

Age is an important factor in success rates and if I was approaching my mid-thirties  again (oh how I wish ...) and thinking about whether to wait for NHS or self-fund, knowing what I know now, I think I personally I would bite the bullet and go self-funded if I could.  On the other hand, if NHS funding was likely to be available before I passed 35, I would be tempted to wait as time would be on my side.  

I agree that being "unexplained" is so frustrating because you are always thinking that this month could be it, but after 8 years of ttc, I am now of the opinion that "unexplained" after a few years doesn't mean that there is nothing wrong, just that they don't know what is wrong!  (Sorry if that sounds negative because although I think that, I definitely haven't given up hope and I also know from this site that miracles happen quite often).

I suppose the plus side of waiting for NHS treatment is that you have plenty of time to prepare by making changes to diet, taking supplements, losing weight  etc and, if you are unexplained, these changes might do the trick without you needing IVF.

Incidentally, I wasn't aware until recently that you could lose out on NHS cycles if you self-fund.  I think that is really unfair. I have seen posts on this site from people who have paid for treatment at a private clinic and not let on to their GP or NHS clinic to avoid losing their NHS funding.  It seems ridiculous that people should be driven to that.  Letters of complaint should be written to MSPs/MPs etc but I suppose the problem is that because IF is such a personal thing, people are reluctant to make a fuss publicly.  Anyway, good luck whatever you all decide.  PS: sorry for the extended ramble.  Brain about to close down completely after too many late nights working to finish reports this week!


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi ladies 

Ellie and Rachel, I have been advised by the gynae that having private ivf treatment will not affect my NHS treatment in any way. Perhaps this is due to where I live (south lanarkshire).  Ellie - I'm sorry to hear that you had a negative cycle.  I'm also sorry to hear about you not being entitled to NHS treatment due to passing the cut off point.  That is so unfair and hopefully the government will increase the cut off age (i have heard from an infertility support group that there is a campaign to increase cut off age to 40)  If I had waited a year longer before being investigated for if I too would have not been entitled to NHS treatment.  I also understand what you are saying about being younger and going for self funded treatment.  I feel quite anxious about my age and having to wait for NHS treatment for over a year. DC - sorry to hear about the waiting list -I will probably go private for one treatment cycle possibly at the end of this year. I dont think it will work due to it being the 1st attempt but I will give it a try.  My DH is supportive of me in relation to this.  I can understand that having unexplained if must be frustrating.  On the other hand, I wouldnt give up hope - I went to an infertility support group this week and I spoke to a girl who had unexplained if, then had unsuccessful attempts at ivf, split up from her husband, met a new man and fell pregnant.  She said that up until that point she has resigned herself to being childless.  I have a diagnosis of if due to severe adhesions/blocked tube so I know that my only option now is ivf.  I agree with you ellie about plus points of waiting for nhs treatment  - getting fit etc. However, I am going through a really negative stage just now and am feeling really scared about going through IVF and it not working. Rachel - I attended cradle for the first time this week - Sam who runs it is very supportive, and i am going to try and attend regulary. I would recommend it - everyone who attends is going through different if stages/journeys.  Sam also has a lot of up to date info on treatment costs/entitlements/what is happening in the if world.
DC - good luck with the parties - I know how you feel about being the token "childless couple" but try not to let it get to you (easier said than done)

Hope you all have a lovely weekend 

Love
Fiona xxx


----------



## Mitzi (May 28, 2004)

Hi Fiona,

Good news that private tx won't affect NHS entitlement.  I got HFEA guide to infertility in post this morning.  It is really interesting and has so much information - if you haven't already got one I'd recommend you request one from their website.  Tells you loads about tx types and all clinics.

Glad to hear that cradle was helpful.  I'm a bit nervous of going as dh wouldn't come.  He still likes to think we don't have a problem and unexplained diagnosis seems to confirm this in his eyes!!  Did you go with dh?  Do any other women go to group without their partners? It does sound really useful so maybe I'll give it a go next month.

Great to hear dh is supportive of you.  Mine is supportive, he just doesn't seem to put such a priority on it all. Guess, he's always been the laid back one in this relationship, whereas I always want things done yesterday!   Must learn patience.  

I agree that you can't lose hope, it is what gets us through each day    - the hope that one day soon we'll all get the   we deserve.  I'm sure it'll happen one day for us, it just may take a little assistance !   

Take care and have a nice weekend, hope this wether brightens up as day goes on!  

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Fiona

Just to say that I know exactly how you feel about the fear of IVF being unsuccessful as my fear of this was really the reason I put off having IVF for so long - I was scared that if it didn't work it would be the end of all our hopes and I didn't want to have to face up to that and deal with it.  However, when I got to 40 I felt that I had to try IVF because time was running out.  I won't pretend that it wasn't hard when the cycle failed as I did feel that it was all over and was really upset about it.  However, I began after a few weeks to realise that there was no reason why we couldn't try IVF again (especially after a very positive review with our clinic) and I have committed now to another cycle in the Autumn (and possibly and a third and last one next Spring).  I am still worried about how I will feel if we end up unsuccessful after three attempts as I know how hard it is going to be to deal with that, but hard though IF is, I feel that there are worse things in the world and that, if we reach the end of the road next Spring, I will just have to try to concentrate on all the good things I have in my life.  Because of my age, part of me wishes that we had tried IVF earlier but another part of me knows that I wasn't ready for it earlier.  My advice (for what it's worth) is go for it when you feel ready!


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Rachel 

I have just checked out the HFEA website and the info booklet does look interesting - I think I will order a copy.  Dont feel nervous about going to cradle without your dh.  I went on my own and I am glad that I did go.  I was feeling particulary upset that day due to a girl I know/work beside who has just found out she is pg after coming off the pill last month.  She was very insensitive towards me when she told me that she was pg (she knows that I am IF) Feeling quite tearful  I decided that I am not at all coping with IF and then thought about cradle - I contacted Sam who runs cradle and she advised me to come along which I did.  There were a number of ladies there (some regulars and 3 new people) who were on their own.  Some ladies did bring their dp's. You dont have to stand up and introduce yourself; it is a very relaxed atmosphere with people sitting chatting to each other.  I understand what you are saying about your dh.  I think men initially have a difficulty getting to grips with IF as although it affects them, us ladies have a harder time with it emotionally (and physically).  My dh is the same also quite laid back - i think he is finally coming round to the fact that we do have a problem, partly because he has seen how emotional I have been recently with IF, also because I have asked him to read a booklet cradle gave to me on IF which is aimed at family and friends - it explains about IF and its emotional side. I told my dh about the group and the fact that there were some men there.  He said that he may come along with me one month. I will be going next month so if you decide to come along it would be nice to meet you .  For the first time in months I am going to the gym tomorrow  I feel guilty due to my current bad diet.

Hope you are having a nice weekend 

Take care
love Fiona xxx


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Ellie

Thanks for your advice  I agree with you - I now feel ready to address my IF. You are doing really well going through with IVF.  I'm sorry to hear about your first attempt.  That must have been difficult for you.  That is good that you got a positive review and that you are going to have further IVF.  I have been reading about IVF and the procedures that you need to go through, This has scared me, also the thought of IVF being unsuccessful but I feel that I need to give it a go, as I have no other option.  If I don't try it I may regret it in later years.  Do you have access to a counsellor at your clinic? If you do it may be worthwhile making an appointment with the counsellor (maybe you have done this already) to help you through the different emotional stages of IVF.  It is important to stay positive  and I know that this can be difficult at times.  It sounds as though you have a good outlook in life which is important.

I wish you all the best with your next treatment cycle 

Take care
love Fiona xxx


----------



## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Fiona

Thanks for your e-mail.  Pleased don't worry about the physical side of the treatment - I was worried about it beforehand (which was another, though secondary, reason I put it off) but honestly it was not bad at all (and I've always hated doctors, hospitals etc, and don't even like taking painkillers if I can avoid it!).  The injections seem daunting in advance but once I'd done the first one, I couldn't understand what I had been nervous about.  I had some side effects with the d/r drugs (brain basically turned to mush, was very tired, and had a very short fuse with DH on occasion).  With the stimming drugs, it was just a case of being tired and a bit bloated by EC time. My experience with EC was fine (didn't feel any pain, chatted to the consultant about hotels while the procedure was underway, watched what was going on on the screen, and actually said to DH after that I wouldn't mind having a sedative and a few hours lie-down afterwards every week as it was so relaxing!).  ET was fine too, and it was amazing to see the embryos on the screen.  The emotional side of it and the worry about things going wrong at each stage is the real challenge  but I think that you just have to accept that it is going to be difficult, make pleanty allowances for yourself, and that you will get through it. Also, this may sound trivial, but I am a great believer in Bachs Rescue Remedy - I downed it goodstyle at key moments during tx, and I really think it helped.

I  also found that finding out as much as possible about the process helped me to understand what was going on, ask questions when I didn't know why something was being done, and generally feel a bit more in control.  Also, although the BFN was hard, things did get better in time.  If you don't have it already, I would really recommend Zita West's book "Fertility and Conception" as it takes you through the process and suggests extra things you can try both to help yourself physically/mentally and to try to improve the outcome.  This website is also great for research and support.  I only found it once I had started my treatment, and it was amazing how it helped me realise that I was not alone in what I was going through as before that I had felt really isolated.  

My clinic does offer counselling as part of the treatment but, to be honest, I haven't felt the need so far although I am know some people find it really helpful and I know it's there for me if I do need it in the future.  

One interesting thing I have found from our IVF trails and tribulations is that although DH and I have always been very close, all of this has made us even closer - so every cloud has a silver lining!  

All the best for when your cycle gets underway. Ellie.


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Ellie 

Thank you for your kind words of advice and reassurance.  You have highlighted some side effects of the drugs - how long do these side effects last ?(I know everyone reacts differently to drugs) Did you have to take much time off work?  One of the things I'm also worried about is having to tell my employer. I agree with you - it is important to find out as much as possible about the process.  I have began to do some background reading into IVF, and I have heard that zita west's book is good.  One thing that concerns me is ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome due to the drugs and their side effects. I know that it is really rare but it is a concern of mine.  I guess I can ask the cons about this. I'm also very scared of needles/injections, and I know that you felt the physical side of IVF was not too bad however the thought of giving myself injections is frightening.  I guess I will need to overcome this fear if I am to go through with the tx  As you say, the emotional side of IVF and the worry about each stage/things going wrong is a challenge.  I'm glad to hear that you and your DH have become closer as a result.  I dont think my DH is aware of how emotionally challenging IVF will be for both of us.  He is still quite laid back about things at the moment.  We also are close, however I am aware that we need to stay strong throughout the whole process.  It is certainly going to be an emotional rollercoaster when we embark on IVF as you have highlighted.  I will certainly take you up on your advice about Bachs Rescue Remedy - I once tried it before a job interview and it did the trick and relaxed me.  I am also thinking about trying out acupuncture.  Yes, this site is very good for support.  I've also just recently began to attend an IF support group in my local area which I think will be a good source of support and information, particularly when I embark on IVF.

Take care
love Fiona xxx


----------



## DC (May 9, 2005)

Hi again

Thanks for all the info on the NHS/Private dilemma, my poor DH is in the middle of his exams at the moment and really stressed but he finishes tonight and we go on holiday on Friday so it'll give us plenty of time together to talk things over and decide on the next steps.  There's always so much waiting involved in IF isn't there?  I could maybe do with being a bit more patient but it's never been one of my strengths.

I agree unexplained is difficult because we always have too much hope, which should never be a negative thing but in this case it is.  On the other hand I've read a lot on this site about people with various diagnosis, lots of them meaning there's no hope of conceiving naturally or having to use donor sperm or eggs and it makes me realise how lucky I am, I don't know how I'd cope with some of the things that these ladies have gone through.  I think in the end IF is just difficult for everyone experiencing it no matter what the reason is.  I also agree that unexplained doesn't necessarily mean that, it sometimes means that they just don't know.  I guess they can't test for absolutely everything but sometimes it seems that they only do the most basic investigations and don't really listen to people.  No one knows your body better than you do and sometimes doctors forget that and don't listen to you.  I have unbelievably short periods (about 5 hours!!!) which again I know is a benefit some times but the symptoms I get with it are much more severe than you would expect for a 5 hour AF  , it just doesn't sit right in my brain and I feel like it could lead to some answers but they don't seem to want to know, they just say think you're self lucky!!! Maybe I'm just paranoid and over thinking things.

Fiona, I know what you mean about not wanting to start IVF in case it's unsuccessful, I've always accepted the waiting list until recently because I felt that IVF is the last resort and I'd have to be prepared for it not working and I haven't felt ready to be in that place yet.  I'm getting to a stage now though that I think if I had to deal with the last resort not working I'd rather get on with it and get through it if possible sooner rather than later.  This life in limbo thing can only last so long!!  See what I mean about the patience? I think you said you must learn patience Rachel, if you find a way let me know.  Anyway good luck Fiona when you do embark on your IVF and you'll have everyone at this site here to support you.   

Ellie good luck with your next cycle, you must be really strong to have come this far and give it another try, I really hope you get the   with this one.  Thanks again for the advice, it really helps to have people to talk to about this who understand.

I might not get on the site again until I get back from my holiday in 2 weeks    so in the meantime I hope you all have a good two weeks and    to you all.

Love DC xx


----------



## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Fiona and DC
Thanks for your messages.  Re me, can I just say that I am not really a strong  person at all and that if I can cope with IVF, anyone can!  Fiona - re the drugs, I took buserilin for d/r and, although everyone's different, I found that the main side effects were tiredness, difficulty concentrating and occasionally flying off the handle with DH (though he said he didn't notice any difference!).  I was also quite emotional generally - getting upset at things out of proportion and crying at things on TV which I wouldn't normally.  However, these side effects pretty improved alot once I started my stimming drug (Puregon) although I think it's only natural to be a bit emotionally fragile during the whole process, and therefore make allowances for yourself.  

The only really side effect I had with Puregon was becoming a bit bloated before and after EC - had to wear looser clothes and it was a bit uncomfortable to sit for long periods (a bit of a hassle given that I had a six-hour round trip for clinic appointments!)  By the end of the first week of the 2ww, most of the bloating was gone, although cyclogest (which I had to take during the 2ww) did give me some funny symptoms (mild cramps and pregnancy like symptoms) plus I was on tenterhooks wondering if the treatment was going to work. (The 2ww is a bit of a rollercoaster, as you will see from other posts on the site).

Re OHSS, it is a bit of a worry but my clinic were good on monitoring (regular scans and blood tests), on telling you what signs to look out for  and on encouraging you to phone in for advice if you were worried.  I also had a couple of books which contained info on OHSS.  My clinic assured me that they had good links with my local hospital if I did need treatment  and couldn't travel through to them for help (given that I lived so far from the clinic).  If you are worried about OHSS, I would suggest asking your clinic to tell you what they do to monitor you and what would happen if you did have a problem.  Some people on this site have posted about phoning their clinic and being sent to their local A&E where the staff hadn't heard of OHSS.  I would not have been at all happy with that idea.

Re the needles, Fiona, I'm not scared of them but I really don't like them.  When we started out, DH did them as he is a qualified first aider and has been trained in giving diabetic injections.  He was very good at giving me the jabs and they didn't hurt.  However, after a few days, I decided to try doing one myself as he was going to be away one night and I wanted to be prepared ahead of that, and I actually found that I preferred doing them myself.  I found that they really were not sore or difficult to do - in  fact, once I started them, I couldn't understand what I had been so nervous about.    To be honest, I don't fancy the hassle of doing them again for five weeks in the next cycle - but hassle is all they were for me - they were not painful or difficult.

I have my own business so had a bit more control over when I took time off work.  I took EC day through to  ET day off (was so tired that I had no choice) then took four days off after EC.  I then went back to work but tried to finish early and spent each evening resting on the couch with a quilt to keep my abdomen warm (as recommended by Zita West).  On the subject of Zita West, I found her book really helpful while I was going through my cycle.

I was really tired during my 2ww - don't know if that had something to do with my age, although in addition to the drugs, I also had to travel alot back and forth to the clinic during treatment which was quite tiring in itself.  For the next cycle, I think I will try to take more time off both in the lead-up to EC and during the 2ww.  (Not necessarily bed rest, but just trying to relax and take things easy).  Going back to work did help take my mind off things in the 2ww, but I think some good books, back-to-back videos and easy walks might have the same effect and avoid me sitting in front of a computer for hours on end feeling bloated.

Anyway, hope all of this rambling helps you both a bit. Looking back at what I've typed, I hope you don't think that I think I am an expert on all of this.  I've only been through it once (unsuccessfully!) and I am know that I don't know the half of it!  However, this site is great for doing research, and also getting support when you need it!

All the best, Ellie.


----------



## Zildjian (May 19, 2005)

Hi Ellie 

Thank you again for sharing your experience of IVF.  I have found your advice very useful and I will certainly be exploring with the clinic how they monitor OHSS.  I continued to feel daunted/scared about the prospect of IVF but I have got to look on it as exciting as well.  I also start a new job in the next couple of months - the job will be quite demanding and challenging. I have a dilemma - should I tell my new employer or not, particularly in light of the time off work required etc    I have booked myself in for a private consultation with the consult in August (who also does NHS treatment at the clinic which I have been referred to, however the wait is 14 months) so I will take it from there.  When I briefly spoke to the consult on the phone he said that I would possibly start IVF treatment in the autumn all being well

I wish you the best of luck for your next cycle. 

Best wishes
Fiona xx


----------

