# Indian Couple - Rejected by local authority



## India281 (Apr 16, 2015)

Hi all

My husband and I are both Hindu - we recently applied to our local LA - they have declined to take us on only on the religion.
We live in a predominantly English area, but they could have looked Nationwide  

So now looking at other agencies - and been rejected on the same grounds as others..

I had previously not wanted to go down the Egg Donor Route, as also told we have no chance - but now maybe considering trying this in India.

So confused!


----------



## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

This surprises me as there are many indian children on the websites...I hope you find a way soon 

x


----------



## PBAL (Apr 18, 2013)

Hello India

My husban is sikh and i am hindu. We wanted to consider adoption and were happy to have a muslim child as there were very few indian babies or children. It really did not matter to us. However we were told we would have to raise the child as muslim which we refused as we have two religions in the mix with our own natural child and dont fancy bringing a 3rd religion to confuse matters. On this ground we were told it would be difficult to adopt. 

This is just my experience

Good luck and god bless

Pbal xx


----------



## India281 (Apr 16, 2015)

Thank you for the comments, PBAL i am shocked they said no to you. I kept getting asked if would consider a muslim child. But we dont feel our extended families would embrace the idea. So we are saying no.

KimmieB - most of the 'Asian' children are Muslim heritage which a different culture to ours. Indians look after their own children which is great overall, but not for me who wants a family.


----------



## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I'm really sorry to hear this. I would try phoning BAAf or adoption uk and ask some advice there msy be agencies that specialise in this areaor giving advice to couples in your situation.  I have absolute empathy for you so please don't tzke this the wrong way but local authorities basically want people who are willing to take the children that are available so if your search requirements are unrealistic / very challenging to meet for any reason they will say no. However when this is based on race it must be incredibly upsetting  and feel very discriminatory.  The reality is nationwide it is adopters not children waiting currently its an unprecedented situation it's always been the other way round.  However this will mean agencies will priotise easier to match couples - I'm not saying this is right just the truth. 

If I were you I'd phone baaf and aukand ask for some statistics / where you can get statistics on the number of Hindu adoption placements happening on a national level. I'd ask about number of adopters for Hindu children and number of Hindu children placed / waiting in the care system.  I'd also ask about authorities or agencies that may have experience of this. A far away la may travel for a Hindu couple if they have a couple of Hindu children they are struggling to place on their books. I would seek more information from such agencies even if they aren't willing to travel to you to help youunderstand the national picture and reality of you finding child.  

Then when armed with all the information I would have a long heart to heart with DH and decide what is your best option.  Good luck xxx


----------



## Rayofsunshine (Jul 28, 2013)

Check this out! Might b a way foward

http://www.actionforchildren.org.uk/our-services/adoption-fostering-and-children-in-care/adopt-a-child/mosaic-adoption-service

/links


----------



## kazzzee (Jul 29, 2014)

I'm nowhere near that stage yet, but if the IVF fails I'd always had adoption at the back of my mind...  but I'm white and my OH is British Pakistani - would we have no chance of adopting?


----------



## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

Sorry India - If I offended I do apologise...I do hope you get somewhere soon 
x


----------



## Maria00 (May 16, 2013)

I am so sorry to hear it, India281.   
DH and I are both Italians and we were refused in 2012 only because we were "too white to adopt"   (I still hate the lady who told us that on the phone   ) and they "didn't need another white couple". I would not care less if my child was the color of the rainbow, but apparently most SWs don't like mixed race families.   
I always wanted to adopt, but after this awful experience I decided to do IVF. No success there yet, tho'.  
Best of luck to you for the future!


----------



## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Kazzee my experience of family finding (as part of a mixed couple) is that there are a fair few children from Pakastani or Bangledeshi backgrounds looking for families but that you rarely see children from Indian or South-East Asian backgrounds. SWs like to place children, if they can, with parents who can reflect their heritage (which I find is a bit of a box ticking exercise and what it really means is do they look like hey could be your birth child). However, I have seen children, as you say where the desire will be to raise them as practising Muslims (you should be aware that this is often the sws passing on the wishes of the birth family without, sometimes, giving a great deal of thought to what is best for the children). 

At the moment there are fewer children getting placement orders and more adopters than previously so many LAs will only recruit adopters who are looking for harder to place children. Trans racial adoptions can and do happen but they need to be well thought out and adopters should have thought carefully about how they can reflect the child's identity. 

India, do try having a chat with an agency like AFC as per the link above. They will give you perhaps a better hearing in terms of what you have to offer. I am sorry you were made to feel this way and it is not ok but what the sw was probably trying to say in her insensitive way was it is about finding the children out there homes and it might be difficult to find you a match among them.


----------

