# Dreams Can Come True



## CarolynB (May 17, 2008)

Dear Ladies

I was not sure whether to post on the birth announcements or on the birth story or elsewhere.  But this was the first place I wanted to post to show that, following in the footsteps of Jo and Lisabelle and others, surrogacy can and does work.  I hope that this will offer hope to others as I know that there are a few of you starting out right now on the surrogacy leg of the journey.

Mike and I are absolutely delighted to be parents.  Our lovely son, Sam Benjamin Bresh was born at 9.07pm on Monday 29th June 2009.  He weighed in at 10lbs 7ozs (or 4.74kg for those of you who do metric).  He was 57cm long.  We sense that he is more likely to be a rugby player than a jockey!

I cannot tell you how chuffed I am with our ticker but that is nothing to the little boy who arrived in our world just under 2 weeks ago.  He is so utterly adorable.  He is everything that my dh and I ever wished for and more.  We love him to bits.  It is the three of us now and we love it.

We simply cannot thank my sister, Deborah, enough for carrying and giving birth to our son.  She helped us fulfil a dream that we had given up on realising after so many years of trying every fertility treatment imaginable.  She has been and continues to be utterly amazing.  She is now back with her own family, Roger, Natalie and James, and is recovering really well.

The birth was traumatic for everyone.  She was due to be induced the next day as had gone 12 days over but started labour naturally on Sunday evening at around 9pm.  She stayed calm at home and called us at around 4.30am on Monday as the contractions started to gather pace.  We drive from London to Birmingham with our hearts racing.  She was in labour for 24 hours in the sweltering heat.  Our boy was back-to-back.  His head would only engage 2/5ths.  Some how she managed to get to 10 cm dilated to find that he was still too far up and that they both had an infection.  They were not happy with the trace from the start and all the way through were taking blood from my son's head to check that he was getting enough oxogen.  The first two tests were fine but the third showed signs of distress.  That was the first look I got at my boy.  Inside my sister, they showed me his black hair when they took the test of his blood from his scalp.

My sister came close to a c-section with her own two children and was very keen to avoid.  We carried on for as long as we possibly could but it was clear that my sister was poorly and our son was unwell too.  In the end I begged her to accept the c-section that the surgeons were saying was the only way forward.  It was very highly charged, very emotional and I felt really guilty to even ask her to do more for us.  But I had no option when they started saying that Sam was in danger.

Thankfully we had built the plan with the hospital in advance (thanks to input from you ladies) and so both Deb's husband and I were allowed in with her for the c-section.  So we all got gowned up.  Deb's husband and I had to wait about 20 minutes to be allowed in to the theatre and it seemed like a lifetime. We sat with her head behind the screen and I basically promised her whatever she wanted.  

They got my sister's husband to call the time.  And at 9.07pm Sam was born.  No cry at which point the world stood still.  They fast bleeped the pediatrician.  He was put on the special bed and needed resucitation.  He was upside down and his feet were all I could see and were blue.  It seemed like a lifetime but it must have been about 3 minutes tops and I heard a cry that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I was overwhelmed.  They brought him over to me and I showed him to Deborah and her husband.  Deb told me to take him and find my husband as we had planned.  She seemed composed by this stage and in good hands.

So someone took me back to the recovery area with Sam and got Mike.  That was amazing.  They found us a room and it was dimmly lit and we could be together.  But I was concerned for my sister as she was not back from theatre & kept trying to find out what was happening to her.

At around 9.30pm when we were just starting to get to know our son & I was doing skin to skin then his temperature absolutely soared and his heart was really racing. It did not feel right so I asked for help.  They got the pediatrician again.  He then went straight to Neo Natal as he needed urgent help with drips and antibiotics to bring his breathing and temperature under control.  He has been a very brave boy with no fuss at all.  His lungs had been compressed due to his large size in my sister's small tummy and ozogen had leaked out the lungs which was why the trace was so poor all day. He had an X Ray within 4 hours of being in the world.  I could not feed him as they were worried he would fit/choke.

So I spent the first 24 hours going between my sister on the ward and my son in Neo Natal.  Once I was able to feed him then he joined us on the ward and wold just go to neo natal for the iv antibiotics.

The staff were amazing to me, Deborah and Sam.  We told the story so many times over the 6 days in hospital.  I had a bed with my sister and son for 5 nights and only had to sleep in the chair when they were mega busy.  My husband brought me in food and I just spent the time helping my sister and looking after Sam.  Nobody would wish a 6 day stay in hospital but it was precious time for all of us.  Although a couple of sleepless nights made my sister ready to be going back to her own family and leave Sam with me!!

My sister was cleared to leave hospital after just two days on Wednesday but we all stayed together as the ‘production’ team.  Sam was given the all clear last Sunday after almost a week at the hospital which was required to see out the course of antibiotics.  I cannot tell you how exciting & emotional it was to leave the hospital in Birmingham and drive to London as a ‘real’ family.  I had dreamt of that moment for days, months, no make that years.  I sat in the back with Sam!

My sister was back watching Wimbledon in the afternoon with my parents and her children.  She said that hospital and Sam already seemed like a dream to her.

I could write so much more about the week in hospital and the past week at home but I need to take a shower, feed Sam as we are taking him out for an early supper with family.  However, I have tried to post for days and just not got it done so I will post now and run.  It has been an amazing, emotional end to our journey.  Lots of tears.  Plenty of smiles and laughter too.  We have loved being at home as a real family.  

Our little family is now complete and we are totally over the moon.  We are already completely in love with our son.  He seems to be relaxed like his Dad but we are assured that there was no mix up in the freezer as his tongue is tied just like his Mummy!

Thank you to everyone who helped support us on our long and painful journey to make a family.  You know who you are.  I thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping me going when I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel.  I am already thinking of things that I may be able to do (in my spare time) to help others who find starting a family difficult or need to explore surrogacy in particular.

Thanks for reading.  Good Luck to you all.  This can happen for you too.
Love
Carolyn xx


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Fantastic 

 on the birth of your son  

It is lovely read what a positive experience you had from the hospital staff 

Your sister is an angel and I hope she is recovering well xx


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## professor waffle (Apr 23, 2005)

Oh wow  another story to bring tears of happiness to my eyes & that beautiful picture too 

Congratulation to all of you, wishing you every happiness with your son


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## isobel snow drop (Feb 2, 2009)

Oh my you've had me in   What a wonderful woman your dear sister is and what a wonderful auntie she will make 

Enjoy these early days with your son, they pass far to quickly


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Carolyn so thrilled for you all and tears when reading your story
L x


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

fabs news - xxxx


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## LLocket (Jul 28, 2003)

Hi Carolyn

        ​
 Have been logging in every day for news and am so delighted 

Thank you for finding the time to come on and let us know. Sounds like it was pretty stressful for you all at one point but your dream really has come true.

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness with Sam
Lucy x


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi Carolyn,
I read your post from a few weeks back on the Summer '09 birth club and I'm really pleased to hear of Sam's arrival, I hope you've all recovered from the rather difficult labour and birth. He certainly looks gorgeous!
Looking forward to you joining us when things are more settled for you and you have a bit of spare time on your hands.
Viva
X


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Oh Wow....Im in floods   that is such an amazing story thank you so much for sharing it with us. I cant tell you how happy I am for you and not just to have your longed for son, but also that incredible bond with your amazing sister. Maybe you should print that post  - your words are truely beautiful, what a wonderful thing for your son to read when he is older! Love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxx


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## Caz.s (Jun 27, 2008)

Wow I am sat here in floods of tears. I am so happy for you and your family

huge congrats


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## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

More happy tears here too, your sister is truly an angel.  Lots of love to you all.

Bev xx


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Oh Carolyn I have only just seen this !! How did I miss it !!!!!

I am made up for you all 

That must have been a scarey time for you all, but you are a family now, and your sister is ok 

You can never thank these angels we have, they make peoples lives complete, and I mean complete , its a wonderful feeling, the best 

Enjoy every minute  because it goes soooo sooo fast.

love to you all
Jo
x x x


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## JKO73 (Mar 26, 2008)

I do love a story with a happy ending!  Many congratulations to you all!

x


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## Blu (Jul 28, 2005)

Carolyn - I have followed your story over the past few months and am now in   reading your amazing birth story. What a special sister you have.

So delighted you have your gorgeous little boy home with you.

 

Blu


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## CarolynB (May 17, 2008)

Dear Ladies

Thank you for all your lovely replies.  I plan to print this thread and put into Sam's baby journal.  I am sorry that I made so many of you  .  Happy tears only please!!!

We still cannot believe that he is here.  He is our boy and that we get to keep him.  We keep pinching ourselves.

My sister has a little infection in her c-section scar so is on antibiotics for 7 days but otherwise seems to be in good shape physically and emotionally.  She is going down to Devon for a couple of weeks to stay with my parents and then will bring her two children here to see Sam around the middle of August.  It will be such fun.  And better than the hospital environment for everyone.

I cannot add a picture down the side of my messages.  May be they are too high resolution?

So going to try to add a pic in the message but may be again the res is too high so may be I need to find a way to reduce?  Hmmmmm.  Yes resolution size is too high.  If I can make it work then I will try to add a few so you can all see Sam.  We are so proud of him and love him so very much.

We simply cannot believe that we got the fairytale ending.  He is such a lovely relaxed baby too.  We feel like we won the lottery!!!!!

Love to you all.
Carolyn and Baby Sam xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## CarolynB (May 17, 2008)

Trying to get a picture with lower resolution...............so I can show off my lovely Son


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## CarolynB (May 17, 2008)

Yippee.  I cracked it!!!!

Will post a few more later but my dh and little boy want to go out for a stroll and I need to jump in shower.

Have a lovely weekend.
Carolyn xxxxx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥ (Apr 10, 2008)

what another lovely story. It still amazes me that miracles do happen and you just have to 'believe'   

Sam is purely gorgeous, enjoy   and your sister is one heck of an angel  
  
Big hugs to Sam, DH, Sis and most of YOU!


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## babymithel (Oct 13, 2008)

What a lovely story, many congratulations. You've got a fab Sister there! 

Dawn xx


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