# feelings of anxiety after negative cycle - anyone had similar ?



## CJSKY (Nov 2, 2007)

hi - just wondered if anyone else has felt like this or am i going a bit mad ?

i had a negative ivf result on monday, ever since i have felt like , i can only discribe it as a sense of dread like something has happened, its now friday and its not gone away. after eating loads through treatment i have no appetite at all , i am really hungry and got upset last night as was feeling really weak and made some tea and could just not swallow it. ate only a few mouthfulls yesterday and the day before and nothing the day before that. its like my belly is full up with butterflie feelings. i have been ringing family members checking they ok as i just feel so anxious all the time,like something really bad is happening, like shaky inside. as it has not gone for a week i feel a bit worried now.

can anyone help ? it would be great to hear if anyone has felt similar.

cj x


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## lots 1 (May 8, 2008)

Cj,You are perfectly normal in your reactions , your body and mind go through alot with ivf.The realisation that you have to have treatment is hard enough in itself to deal with.Then the hope that it might work to the knowledge that it has'nt does mean you are bound to feel low.[don't let anyone tell you otherwise].

I think you are experiencing shock which is horrible but is the body's way of coping with trauma.Try to talk to DP and anyone else who you feel will be willing to listen.Don't feel you have to cope with it alone.
Please try to drink I know its so very hard but you need to keep well.If you still feel overwhelmed speak to your specialist who should be able to reasure you.

You are not alone in how you are feeling so please don't give yourself a hard time my love.

Laura.x


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## TLZ (Feb 27, 2007)

Hi CJ

Just wanted to reiterate what Laura has said really ... totally normal considering everything you have been through  

During my first IVF this July/Aug I had my first ever panic attack and after our TX failed I sank to an all-time low ... just about pulling myself out of it now 

You are probably suffering from a bit of shock and your emotions will be totally out of whack from all the drugs .... please don't suffer in silence though talk to your clinic or your GP if you can ....    

Wishing you well, loads of love

TLZ xx


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## Fluffy Bunny (Dec 6, 2005)

Me to I to have had a negative cycle even after 3 x grade 1 embryos replaced, I was so sure that this would work for us, I to am still in shock it has failed.  It is a feeling of despair, sadness, anger, loneliness.  It is normal to have these feelings (i think  ).  

Not quite sure how Iam gonna get over Christmas, I am sure it will be the same for you, as I feel it is a time for families and children.
Keep strong, time is a great heeler, I have a great husband and 2 wonderful cats which will help me through this traumatic time, sending you loads of  Fluffy Bunny


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## CJSKY (Nov 2, 2007)

oh ladies,
thanks so much for taking the time to reply and for your kind words.
still have not eaten much but i am drinking lots of milk. makes me feel better tho to hear you all think its quite normal to be having these feelings. when my first attempt went failed there where a lot more tears followed by just feeling low for a while, but this is different as i dont feel sad and tearfull just anxious - its very strange. i quess really i am very sad but this is just how i am reacting.
i hope it passes soon , could go gp i suppose but not really sure what they could do   

thanks again and lots of    to all those who didnt get the results they wanted - we will get there and we will get our BFP   
CJ X


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## lots 1 (May 8, 2008)

CJ how are you feeling lovely?Laura.x


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## CJSKY (Nov 2, 2007)

hi lots,

i ok thanks for asking. got persuaded by dp to venture out on sat night and after a few drinks thought  oh i feel better and all the anxiety has gone yippee ! and even when friends said i am sorry about the treatment and things i was like oh i am fine really.  but its not gone woke up exactly the same. eating still a struggle but forcing a few mouthfuls its so strange and my chest is really tight. its a week today had this so think maybe should speak gp but just dont think there gonna be much they can do.

sure time will sort me out ! 
thanks again - hope you ok 
cj x


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## Mrs Wally (Jul 4, 2008)

cj - just read your post and feel exactly the same. Loss of appetite, tight feeling in chest, dizzy and weak. I tried to eat a packet of crisps last night and they tasted disgusting.
Today was my OTD and I have been feeling so wierd that for a completely mad moment I even thought I might be pregnant despite the fact that I have been bleeding heavily for the last 2 days!! Of course I wasn't.
I am so afraid that this will never work for me. It's not suprising we are anxious!


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## JuliaG (May 4, 2006)

i too have been suffering from anxiety on/off since my m/c last summer, i know that sounds like a long time but the anxiety doesn't go away cos i know i have to face more tx until i eventually acheive my dream. My GP recently recommended a fantastic book to me called 'self help for your nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes and i must say it is brilliant, i have been reading it and wish i had it last year when all this started, it makes so much sense and has helped me overcome my fears. It works on the basis of the anxiety feelings we have are caused by the stress we have been going through and our adrenalin-releasing nerve becomes over-sensitized, this will not stop until we do not worry about the way we are feeling, it says we have to accept the way we are feeling and allow time to pass in order for the nerve to calm down, it is also works on learning to float through situations rather than allowing them to cause more fear!!
It costs £5.99 from play.com.

Hope you feel better soon

Julia
xxxx


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## JuliaG (May 4, 2006)

Diva - thanks so much for your lovely words and all the best of luck with your next tx                  

Julia
xxxx


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## JenniMac (Jul 29, 2008)

Hello, 

I joined this website ages ago and up until now I haven't really been able to bring myself to go onto it, I find it all a little overwhelming and forgive me that I don't really get all of the lingo just yet.  We've been trying for a baby for eight years now, we've had four unsuccessful attempts at IUI and on Thur we got a negative result from our first IVF cycle.    I am devastated.  I knew it hadn't worked and I thought I'd prepared myself and DH for the phonecall - but I hadn't.  The feelings of desolation are unbearable, people try to help but those that haven't been in the situation just can't understand and often make me feel worse, then I feel bad at myself for feeling like that!!  I know I'll go through with the next cycle but it just feels so hopeless right now.  I turn 30 this month and I feel like I've spent all of my 20s trying to have a baby   .  I haven't been able to sleep properly since, not least because of the horrendous withdrawl bleed and all the associated pain that goes with that.  I can't concentrate at work and I can't even imagine this ever happening for us now, while only three weeks ago when we left the hospital we were so optimistic!!

Everyone keeps telling me to relax and that's when the baby will come - how on earth can anyone relax when they're going through this though  

It is nice to read this thread though and realise that I'm not going crazy, that all of these thoughts in my head seem to be going on in lots of other peoples heads as well and to see that there are some really lovely people out there with some really helpful advice. 


Phew - First post over and it wasn't too painful!!  

JenniMac


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## JuliaG (May 4, 2006)

Jenni -        glad you found this website, it is a godsend and will really help you through this rollercoaster of a journey. It is so emotional and very hard to get through but we all help each other through the highs and the lows.        well done for posting, you are most certainly not alone

Julia
xxxx


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## TLZ (Feb 27, 2007)

Hi Ladies  

Just been reading back through the posts and wanted to send my continued love and support to you all ....

Jenni   As Julia said this website is a real godsend .. glad you felt able to post, take care of you   

Thankyou DivaB for your lovely words  

I've started feeeling all anxious again ladies but this time its because I am thinking about putting myself into more treatment! Nothing decided for def but thinking about it and wondering if I am strong enough to cope ??

I know you all understand, thanks  

TLZ xx


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## JuliaG (May 4, 2006)

TLZ -     i am exactly the same, i am fine for ages then when i have an appointment or start making plans for tx i get all anxious and wobbly again   We just have to find a way to cope don't we


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## TLZ (Feb 27, 2007)

Julia ... I know ... its sooo tough! 

If you find a way to cope can you let me know as I'm coming up blank on idea's !!    

Good luck with your next tx hun .. I'll pray you get your dream, god knows you've worked hard enough for it!!

Loads of love

TLZ xx


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