# Text from friend



## Wisp (Mar 13, 2014)

Just got to work and had a text from my friend to say she had her baby last night, I am trying not to cry as there are people around but it's hard, I just feel like bursting in to tears, it feels so unfair.  I am happy for her and glad the baby arrived safely, but I am also very jealous!! I just wanted to get these feelings out so I can try and get on with my day! I just feel so angry and sad.


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## Guest (Apr 24, 2014)

Sending you a big hug!   I'm sure others will also tell you it's ok & normal to feel like that. It's hard when you've been through a struggle yourself. 

I felt awful because I didn't want to continue hearing from someone who'd also lost a baby in 2nd trimester but then got pregnant again very quickly and was at least 10 yrs younger than me - I worried I might never have my own baby at my age and found it too hard hearing about hers. She was on another support site and now I feel I can't access it as she's still there!  

Hope you get some nice things happening out of the blue, cos it often happens like that!   xxx


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Oh Wisp, I'm so sorry xx

I'm waiting for my friend to say she's had her baby too.  To be honest though, I think that it will be a relief because I don't think that I can cope with any more pregnancy details.  I think that once a baby has arrived I can shut off from it more easily, weird because then it's more real but it's the pregnancy envy that I struggle with.

I just want to send you a big hug, to say that you are a brilliant, strong & wonderful woman.  Get through whatever you have to today, leave the second that you can and get home safely xxx


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## Mrsball (May 10, 2013)

I have no words for you. 
Only emotions that we all share x x x


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## Wisp (Mar 13, 2014)

Thank you all so much for the support, it means a lot.  I am so glad I joined this site and can talk to others who really know how it feels. Mrsball, those few words mean a lot.

Cherish, ah it's horrible when someting like that happens and you feel you just cant go back.  This friend has a baby already and then had a miscarriage at 8 weeks before having this one, and she got pregnant again two months later, I felt so upset that she became pregnant again so quickly and then felt guilty because she had just had the miscarriage! What an array of emotions we go through.

Molly, thank you for your kind words. I am leaving at 4.30pm on the dot!  Looking forward to getting home and a cuddle from my DH.  I know what you mean about it being a relief, she was due on 10th so I have been waiting for 'THE message' since then, so am glad that bits over at least. Big hug right back to you   x


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi wisp I know how you feel I felt exactly the same when my dp brother had his baby, we got the text from his mum and I have no idea how I didn't cry my eyes out but after a few days I just felt relief that the baby was finally born and I didn't have to see that bump anymore. Obviously I stil had to get to the point of seeing the baby but once that was out the way I just felt a sense of relief, my cousin also had a baby a few weeks ago and I went to her eldest son's birthday party and everyone held the baby and I made every excuse I could not to I used the 'I have flu' excuse I just couldn't face it. I really hope you got a cuddle of your dh and feeling better


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## Wisp (Mar 13, 2014)

Feeling much better today, thank you  and I did get a nice cuddle from my DH and felt much better. I am glad the baby is here safely. It's so hard to stop the negative thoughts popping in my head though, when the baby was overdue my friend text to say "I must be really inhabitable" and of course my first thought was I was be really uninhabitable then as I cant even get a baby in there!  .  Have to nip these thoughts in the bud! Thanks for the support  . Sorry it was hard for you at the birthday party, it's just so painful sometimes isn't it. xx


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

I'm so glad that you're ok (as can be) Wisp, I was thinking of you. Your DH sounds lovely, fantastic that he was ready with the cuddles.

I don't know whether you've seen it but there's a fantastic blog on pregnancy envy on Gateway Women (for women without children). http://gateway-women.com/2014/04/22/help-im-so-jealous-of-pregnant-women-and-mothers/#comment-8905.

I'm trying to reprogram myself now to cope with it, if I really do have a childless future then I'm going to have to deal with it somehow - I'm looking for constructive coping mechanisms now and trying to stop wallowing. It doesn't really give many answers but it starts to highlight ways to find them. I don't think we'll ever get away from people's inadvertent hurtful comments (inhabitable?  ) so it's about trying to find a way to close off to them.

Lots of 

/links


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## Wisp (Mar 13, 2014)

Inhabitable indeed! Reminded me of the Friends episode (don't know if you're in to Friends, I love it!) where Monica and Chandler are struggling to conceive and get told by the Consultant that her womb is an "inhospitable environment!!".

I haven't seen that blog, but will definitely have a look, thank you  .

You're right, if that is what the future holds for us we'll have to deal with it some way, some how.


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