# What would you do?



## sooze (Jul 13, 2002)

Hello ladies

I''m 36, an FSH between 12 and 20. Had 3 unsuccsesful attempts at IVF resulting in IUI as had a very poor response to max dosage of drugs. I have endometriosis and have never been pregnant. I've seen 4 different consultants in London and all say, don't bother it won't work try donor. 

Its taken me 3 years to get my head around it all and accept it and now felt ready for donor. Went to IVI Barcelona on Monday and they say to try with my own eggs as I am still relatively young. They did a scan and saw some follicles on one ovary, there is no activity on the oher. They say there is a 30% chance with your own eggs and 60 with donor. 

I really wasn't expecting a choice! I had my my made up regarding donor. I feel that we should give it one last chance, but can't see it working.

What would you do?

Thanks for listening.

Sooze
x


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## Bangle21 (Dec 17, 2004)

Hi Sooze,

Firstly, I'd like to say how pleased I am for you that you've found IVIB to be a positive experience (for a change!!!)  I too, have found them excellent as you know.

Well, what can i say.  This is so weird.  This is exactly what happened to me!  After reading up on IVIB from FF, we decided we too would go for it one last time using donor eggs.  When we got there and they did a scan, they were happy with the no of follies I had at that time and tried to persuade me to try once more using my own eggs!    Of course, like you, I found this totally unexpected and a bit stressful.  I couldn't take in what they were saying to me.  We had gone over there with the one and only intention of using donor eggs.  Using our own never even came into it.

The difficulty with me is that although my FSH levels have always remained low enough (4.5 - 9), I have also been a poor responder and have endo and no-one can understand why it hasn't worked for us before given my low FSH levels.  So, we came away feeling pretty flabbergasted trying to work out what to do next.

As we talked, we both realised our priority was now to be able to experience the joy of pregnancy, giving birth and having a baby.  We have been through so much, that the fact that it wouldn't be genetically linked to me wasn't a priority for us.  The other thing that put me off (probably naively) was the thought of having sedation/anaesthetic/possible risks of OHSS in a foreign country, away from my MUM!! and in all that heat!!

It was a bit difficult at first thinking, God, what if I don't bond?  But now that those embies are safely tucked up in there, all I want now is for them to grow and for me to be able to nurture them and hopefully, give birth to them........

I'm not trying to sway you in any way.  I understand that for some people, a genetic link is so important.  I think you really just have to look at what you've already been through, TRUST your instincts regarding your own body, and ask yourself what your priorities are in all this.

For me, I just knew my body had let me down so many times before, I wasn't about to give it another chance to do that to me again without a fight.

I wish you all the very best of luck in making this difficult decision.
All my love
Gill xo


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## ds (May 18, 2006)

Dear Sooze

I am kind of in the same boat - my problems are my many miscarriages and now having an FSH that is usually around 13 but once was 16.  I have never tried IVF, firstly because I used to be able to get PG naturally but after my FSH diagnosis and poor response to menopur, my london clinic reccommended iui with clomid - which got me pg but mc again.  

I have to say that I had a fibroidd that was coming into the uterine cavity and just recently had surgery to remove it.  So, the idea swirls around in my head that it could have been the fibroid - but am I kidding myself because 3 of pgs I didn't have a fibroid and still no baby.

I just want someone to decide for me....!! Its been 5 yrs now on this journey and when I decided to do DE, I wrote to a number of clinics and 3 of them suggested IVF with my own eggs first...My London clinic who put the idea of DE in my head in the first place thinks I should try one more time now fibroid is removed but they are saying my chances with IVF are 2% and I should try IUI.

Its so tough isn't it!

Love DAISY


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## hola69 (Nov 17, 2005)

Hi Sooze,

thats a difficult one..and we had to make the same decision..you have to do what is right for you..How much do you want a child that is genetically yours..if it takes longer and more money are you preapred for that. Or do you just want a child so much that you dont mind if it s not genetically yours? also if you have more chance with DE isn't that the best option for you?

We are going ED as its the right thing for me..the gentics is not an issue we just desperatley want a child to bring into the world as our own, that is a gift from god and the kind lady who donates.

Good luck with your decison.

Love Lesley xxx


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## sooze (Jul 13, 2002)

Gill, sorry I got you mixed up with Pearl, hope its a good omen for you!

Sooze
x[br]: 30/08/06, 18:07Hi ladies

Many thanks for all your replies. What's hard and what hurts is that its taken me 3-4 years to finally feel that donor is right (been trying for 7 in total). I finally get to that point and then they suggest this!!! Have sent an email to the Dr in Spain, attaching some blood results to see if she still thinks its worth while.

I know that I would love and feel that if I had donor it would be just the same, its nurture rather than nature I feel, its just that i've never even got to the egg colletion stage and just maybe they can help...

Many thanks again to you all.

Love

Sooze
x[br]: 2/09/06, 14:46Hi daisy

I know what you mean, I just want someone to decide for me tooooo!!!!!

I would give it one last go if I were you, the Drs here seem positive about your case and that's half the battle. Why do they say your chances with IUI are greater. In Spain they told me not to bother with IUI anymore as it clearly never worked for me. You know that you can concieve, that your ovaries are working. FSH is so confusing as they say its not a true indicator, it fluctuates all the time. Why not try another drug like Gonal F. You've actually managed to get pregnant, I would say go for it one last time. I know its tough.

Lots of luck in your descision.

Love
Sooze
x


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