# Counselling - over 40's ttc, donor eggs or coming to terms with infertility



## beadle1 (Jul 7, 2010)

Has anyone come away from a counselling session feeling more negative?  

Alice x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hi Alice,

Yes, I think it's quite common to go through ups and downs with counselling because it can bring up so many difficult issues. I've been seeing my counsellor on and off for a year now and there have certainly been some sessions which have been harder than others and which have left me feeling quite low. But overall I have found counselling invaluable in helping me to sort out my feelings towards donor eggs, and in moving forwards in general - although my counsellor specialises in fertility we have naturally also covered other issues that have come up over the course of the counselling and so I feel the benefit has been in all areas of my life, not just in the fertility

As long as you're happy you've found the right counsellor for you, then I would say stick with it because the benefits will come
But if you're not sure the counsellor is right for you, then shop around, I saw 2 others prior to the one I have now and they were no help at all, with this one I knew from the start that we would get on/work well together - it just felt right...

Best of luck
Suitcase
x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

definitely not the right counsellor - is it one associated with your clinic? I would complain - counsellors are there to listen and help you work out what is best for you and your child/children not to stand in judgement

don't be put off by this one bad experience - there are good counsellors out there, you just need to find the right one for you

it took me some time to come to terms with using donor eggs (especially as I am single so I am using donor sperm as well which makes things that bit more complicated)
I'm now 8 weeks pg with twins and could not be happier (well apart from feeling sick and tired all the time that is...) - and to a great extent I know it's counselling which helped me get to this point

I do hope you can find a better counsellor soon
take care
Suitcase
x


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## daisyg (Jan 7, 2004)

Hi Alice,

This question appeared recently and was answered as follows by Olivia from DCN (Donor Conception Network):

I would also recommend having a look at the Donor Conception Website as there is a forum and information from others who have had their children via DE or who are considering now and there may be more counselling info. there.

Finally, I had very good counselling from the in-house counsellor at The Lister ivf clinic so it may be worth a phone call to see if you can access this resource...

http://www.ivf.org.uk/counselling/

Good luck,
Daisy
x

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## dd_b (Jan 5, 2010)

asprinkleoflight
I agree with suitcase, that doesn't sound right. Counselling with fertility is no different to other kinds, in the sense that you HAVE to feel happy with the person you are seeing.

I hope you keep looking until you find  more suitable help. 

xx


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## Oceana (Aug 31, 2010)

I thought a counsellor was suppose to assist you in investigating your own feelings not inflict their own onto you?
From working in the health field for years I have found that both counseling and psychology attract 2 opposite types of people.
One type is good at what they do and understand what they are there for and a second type who went into it in order to try and solve their own problems and figure themselves out and haven't but seem to feel a sense of power in telling someone else that they know best. (this is the type to avoid as they don't help anyone)
Take care, and remember it's a service so if it isn't good for you find someone who is.


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