# Its al getting too much!!!



## Shelley1978 (Apr 30, 2015)

Hello

I don't know where to start but I am currently feeling very alone in the process and alienating myself from friends and family.

I started the process of trying for a baby 2 years ago which I know in some peoples terms isn't very long but to me it seems like a life time now. I was referred to the fertility clinic last year based on my age (36) and begun with the tests where they showed nothing was wrong with my partner and I apart from I had to loose some weight which I did and then started on the clomid. 

I have now had to be taken off Clomid because the side effects were not reacting well with my body and I started to feel i was loosing my mind!!! The application for ivf funding was completed and we are now waiting for that to come through. In the meantime I have had a test result back to check how many eggs i have banked and the result showed that i was only just in and that result will continue to drop quite rapidly. So the top and bottom of it in my head is I came on yesterday and when the ivf comes through that is my last chance........no pressure!!!! 

The dr has now signed me off with anxiety which i know will not help with the situation but I don't feel I can get a grip on my emotions at the moment, has anyone else felt like that? what did you do? I have also been experiencing awful nightmares for a month now is that normal? or is that my anxiety?

Help............Xx


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## Banjo55 (Nov 9, 2014)

Sorry you're having a tough time.  

Personally I don't think there is a way you can escape your emotions when they start to overwhelm you but somehow you will come out the other side.  

During the time I was signed off from work I had counselling which served as a kind of outlet, rather than trying to fix how I was feeling.  I also called the Infertility Network support line, and when my thoughts went to dark places I called the Samaritans.

Speaking to your specialist may also help.  It may not be true that this is your last chance.


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

calm down. if you respond well to the IVF drugs you could have years yet. you won't know until you try so there's no point panicking now. i remember being 36 and scared i would never be a mum.... and i got there eventually. try some relaxation techniques. good luck with the weight loss and the treatment.


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## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

I remember being there, it's so tough. But you've admitted your feelings out loud so that's a good first step.

My top tips for trying to manage stress:

1) exercise - REALLY IMPORTANT and will obv help in the weight loss
2) have a friend who you can confide in / rant to / cry with. My neighbour who si now a v close friend, had been through IVF for her twins. She just got it. But it doesn't have to be someone who has been through it, just someone who is a really good listener and who cares. 
3) Figure out how much your DH can take in terms of helping you with your emotions. I made the mistake of thinking my DH could and should be the best person to help me, and I think that was prob a bit unfair and putting too much pressure on him
4) Do nice things. For yourself. with people you like. IF helped me to cut out the sh*t I didn;t need (people, obligations etc)

Wishing you the very best of luck

R xx


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## rubster (Jul 26, 2011)

OH, and getting a puppy lifted me more than I could have EVER imagined. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE her!!!!! (see pic!) xx


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## Shelley1978 (Apr 30, 2015)

Thank you for your replies and I will certainly take your suggestions on board.

I had my first counselling session yesterday which i feel went well and gave me a good avenue to say what i was feeling. I also have booked n for some massages to help destress and signed up for a yoga course so hopefully all these will help me to calm down and get back to work. I've been signed off for 2 weeks initially so need to use this time wisely and add lots of self care.

Last night was also nightmare free   Xx


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