# Any tips with this issue as have no idea how to deal with.



## ma1978 (May 30, 2009)

Hi guys we adopted our little man over a year ago but we have this issue and we have no idea how to deal with it just wondered weather anyone else has had the same issue. He will be 2 next weekend.
When our little man get put in his car seat he's fine if it our older children sat beside him and me in the front seat and hubby.
But when I someone else from our family get in the front he starts screaming and crying last time me and mother in law went shopping he screamed and cried all the time travelling in the car and nothing calms him down. But it's not just my mother in law it my sister in law to who he know really well as she is his childminder.
He see his gran a lot but I'm getting so embarrassed and have stopped going shopping with friends and family as everyone is like oh my god. 
I just don't know how to deal with it and nothing seems to calm him down. 
Any ideas or help would be greatly recieved.


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi and  
I'm afraid I have no ideas how to help, our LOs haven't been here that long but do cry a lot, obvs experiencing grief etc. Poor little things. 

Maybe like most toddler things it is a phase and will eventually stop. 
or maybe several very short journeys with MIL and SIL? Building up to longer if he calms down?
It's difficult when we don't know why they do things, could be a memory triggered or something else entirely. 

xxxxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

start with the person most likely to come travelling with you..granny perhaps. have a fun session playing in the car with him on the driveway..him not strapped in, granny in the back with him too... take some teddies/fav toys in there so you all have fun together, peep/driving cars over seats..whatever makes him most happy and relaxed…eating a snack maybe. Depending on how he goes with this, maybe granny could subtly move to the front seat and continue the fun from there, keeping it light and happy..peepo through the seats etc then all go back inside for a snack/more playing. if you think it took him a while to warm to this game it might need repeating again…and again…


if/when you feel he's ready for a trip, bring along the same toys you had fun with before and try going out for a drive…


kj x


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

Is he only crying when around other people in the car or in general,  when he is surrounded by the people in general?


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## ma1978 (May 30, 2009)

No when me and my husband and the older children are in the car he's fine it's just when someone else gets in the front seat. X it's just puzzling
Thank you for all your replies ladies x


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

A wild guess here but is it because when someone else other than hubby and kids are in the car, he doesn't get your full attention, ie. you are chatting to the other person?

Also, he may just be crying out of habit. Our LO was crying every time when my husband dropped him off at nursery after the xmas break. One day, I had to drop him off instead, there were no tears that day and lo and behold, he doesn't cry any more. Sometimes they just need something to snap the change. 

Keemjay has some good ideas there.  I so hope this is just a phase....that seems to be my motto these days as we are going through one right now, where if anyone else other than my husband or me talks to him, he bursts into distressed tears. And it's just as bad at home if people come and visit. The doorbell rings, he shouts door and runs to it. The moment he sees the person, no matter who it is....he has a meltdown. Sometimes it seems easier to avoid the situations and hide at home and not see anyone but I know in my heart we have to soldier on and get through this. Or...find a way of changing things somehow. Sending hugs...it's so hard when we just don't get it!


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

Maybe he doesn't feel safe with them. Did those other people scare him or hurt him in any way?

If my child was crying every time when going to the nursery, I would investigatea but wwhat's happening there since he is not willing to go. The times we live in are bad and we have to protect our kids to the maximum.


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## ma1978 (May 30, 2009)

No not at all he adores his auntie and goes there on a Wednesday as she is a ofsted child minder and he sees his gran a lot to. So we have no worries at all there.
It's just so so strange. As he's been to his aunties to and when we left wanted to give her kisses. As he only does it when they get in the car and when we travel back home after shopping he's fine no crying at all. 
X x 
Thank you all for your replies


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