# Menopausally challenged



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Yes, the dreaded menopause is raising its ugly head - and I so don't want to deal with it. My period came a little late this month - and was very strange: very light and no pain. So yesterday morning I went to the bathroom pulled my pants and knickers down (as you do) and this 'thing' landed on them - it was an enormous blood clot. I'm not kidding. There was blood everywhere and the pad I'd been wearing was soaked. (Sorry if TMI, but I've got to tell someone - dh would just faint if I spoke about it to him - thank god he was out of the house). So I cleaned up, washed up and had a cup of tea (cos I was suddenly shaky thinking about all that blood). And then I wrote in my diary 'My menopause has officially begun'    The oddest thing was that I felt no pain - and so had no real warning that I was flooding. Goodness knows what would have happened if I'd been out. I have heard of menopausal women being housebound for 4 days a month. I'm so not happy with this. 

Later on I met hubby after work and was all teary - feeling old and going into menopase etc And he bought a bottle of wine and choccies to cheer me up (he is a sweetheart). But the thing is a) I am so afraid of what menopause will do to my body - how will I cope?  b) I don't want to face it cos it will mean I'm really at the end of the ttc road.  

I feel so old today....

Bernie


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hey Bernie

I'm so sorry that you are experiencing the dreaded menopause....believe it or not i can understand how scary it is....even at 28!!   All i can say is go and see you doctor and get some support and i would definitely recommend HRT if you start 'flushing' and having night sweats etc....it really is miraculous!  

Are you sure that the heavy bleeding is the menopause? Could it be something else? 

I know this means the end of the road for your fertility dream but try and stay strong   your DH sounds like a sweetie and they are few and far between   Maybe do what i did and get a puppy...my puppy has become my 'baby'...sad i know!   But they do cheer you up.

Take care matey....PM me any time i always have a menopausal ear open lol  

Florie x x


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Bernie,

Sorry to hear you had such a horrid experience. For what it is worth, it doesn't mean that you will have a difficult menopause from a physical point of view. I think it can be very different for different women. Personally mine is fairly easy, a few wierd periods like yours and then they just seemed to drizzle out. I do have the odd hot flush, mostly in bed at night, but nothing dramatic. (Much more bearable than the painful periods I used to have,) My skin and hair does seem to need a bit of extra TLC and I have noticed that if I eat badly or drink too much I look crap! 

I would try and ignore all the horror stories you hear. I have a sneaky feeling that some women tend to compete about how awfull it is, a bit like some swap dreaded childbirth stories! Honestly, menopause seems like a walk in the park compared to all you and I have been through, so don't listen to them! 

I am talking here of menopause at a fairly "normal" age, not early menopause - that must be so difficult and my heart goes out to people like Florie. By the way, I guess you know but other members may not, "normal" menopause happens when our eggs start to run out. Women have all the eggs we are ever going to have before we are born, we don't produce them as we go along like men produce sperm. So women who have had any fertility tx that stimulates lots of eggs being released at once will hit menopause sooner than had they not had tx. I once worked out how many eggs I had used up during IVF which almost accounted for the fact I hit menopuase a bit earlier than my mum and maternal aunt, and that did not account for the eggs released during earlier fertility drugs as I had no way of knowing how many were released then. 

If menopause does prove physically difficult, there is help in the form of HRT and alternative treatments. (Personally I decided not to go the HRT route as I felt that after years of the pill to avoid conception and then fertility drugs to make it happen (useless!) and then the IVF drug therapy (failed) my body did not need more artificial hormones. So I stocked up on herbal stuff instead, but never finished the packets!

The emotional side may be more complex as yes, it does mean the end of all hope of TTC. I did feel that too, but on the other hand I eventually realised that it could represent a kind of freedom from what I really knew were false and cruel hopes that against all odds I might yet get pg and carry a baby to term. My cycle buddy (not a FF from this site but a face to face friend who by co-incidence had 3 failed IVFs alongside me) ended up having a hysterectomy. She said she felt released from holding onto false hope and free at last to make a new life. Maybe her sharing this perspective with me helped me to see things in similar light when I got to menopuase? I guess that is the value of honestly sharing our experience.

Love to you sweetheart, keep in touch,

Jq xxx


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hey guys

I just wanted to say my menopause was nothing to do with fertility treatment....no one knows why some women get Premature Ovarian Failure but it only effects 1% of women. I believe mine is cause by auto immune problems.

There is a POF thread on FF under diagnosis. Or if anyone wants further info about the condition have a look at www.daisynetwork.org.uk

Hope you are feeling a bit better today Bernie   hope my comment about a dog didn't sound flippant....it wasnt my intention just trying to cheer you up. I know you have had so much loss. Maybe Jq is right, the menopause could let you get rid of any false hope etc and it may help you.

Take care



Florie x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hey Bernie

Welcome to my world - argh - I have been going through all of this stuff (including the night sweats) for over a year now, they started when I was 39.

I have ranty moments, teary moments, sweaty moments, forgetful moments, sleepless nights and exhausted moments - but the thing that has really peed me off the most is the added weight gain that's going nowhere despite my best attempts at keeping fit and eating healthily(ish)!

Menopause is cr*p - my periods are all over the place and I never know when they are going to strike or how severe they will be when they do.

Pants, pants, pants, pants, PANTS! (meaning, it is pants, not that I am panting because I am overweight, sweaty, hormonal and forgetful, nor that I have to carry an extra pair of pants with me 'just in case')!!!

Seriously though, the menopause (or rather, peri menopause) is challenging because for those of us that have not gone on to have families it signifies the end of an era, and that is something that can evoke strong thoughts and feelings in all of us. As for those of us here who are facing premature menopause, my heart goes out to you ladies because I think it's a difficult enough thing to deal with in your late thirties/early forties, never mind when you are in your early twenties. 

For me, I am not sure how I feel about the peri menopause. The wheel turns, the seasons change and I suppose it's something I am just going to have to 'embrace' in a clumsy, not really wanting to kind of way and hopefully I can make some sort of acceptance with it - lol! If only you could see me in my hormonally challenging moments, acceptance is the furthest thing from my mind!

Bernie, I have PM'd you - I hope you don't mind.

Love
Emcee xxx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Thanks for letting me know I'm not in this alone.

Emcee: "I have ranty moments, teary moments, sweaty moments, forgetful moments, sleepless nights and exhausted moments - but the thing that has really peed me off the most is the added weight gain that's going nowhere despite my best attempts at keeping fit and eating healthily(ish)!" That's me!!!

OHHHHH it's such a pain in the ar**!!! Especially the putting on weight part. I've always been 'rounded' shall we say - but it's never gone on my tummy before - and now I'm carrying a definite 'spare tyre' - and will it shift? No! (Also - hormones make me just HAVE to eat more chocolate - so it's a no brainer where the weight is coming from...)

Like you jq, I will not be taking the HRT route as I know the drugs just don't agree with me. When younger I couldn't find a pill that suited - and then in tx was a 'poor responder' (how dare they!  ) and so I reckon my body just does not work well with imitation hormones. I'm going to try agnus castus and liquorice (which work when I remember to take them).

Florie - your idea of a puppy is not flippant. We did a similar thing and bought a maine **** cat - who is completely 'high maintenance' and a lovely bright spirit that lifts my mood on a daily basis.

Maybe once I'm through the menopause - I will have closure and perhaps get a new lease of life. I guess it's another monster to battle. I'm glad to be among fellow warriors who can give me support.

Thanks - your kind words lifted me up today. 
Bernie xxx


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