# Love it or hate it the marmite debate!!



## dawny36 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi all,

Had a visit yesterday from our little girls s/w, you have probably read my earlier post about been anxious about bumps etc well thank god she hadnt bumped her head!!

We are due our second review next week and then hopefully will be applying for the adoption order, so yesterday was just routine visit.

She was asking all the usual questions and to be honest I have always felt a little intimidated by her right from the first time we met her prior to matching, she can be quite fierce!!

She asked about her diet and what she likes etc I happenend to comment that she loves marmite and my dh commented that he hated it. She gave me a very disapproving look and said 'there is a lot of salt in marmite you know' I was speechless, given the fact I have been so careful in what I do give her and avoid processed foods and have never fed her baby food from a jar, it really annoyed me to be honest.

Later on we mentioned a holiday we have booked in the summer and I told her I have been getting excited buying her beach wear and she said 'well I might change my mind yet'.  This was a long visit over an hour and half and these were only two throwaway comments but they have really upset me given the fact we have our second review looming.

Obviously I kept my gob shut but was very annoyed  

Anyway to try and put a humerous slant on it I thought I would start the marmite debate to see what everyone thought 

love

Dawn x


----------



## ritzi (Feb 18, 2006)

just wanted to send you a much needed   sw can say the stupidest things  

i love marmite - as do all my nieces and nephews who at 12 months loved nothing more than soldiers and marmite to chew on  

dh hates it  

ritz


----------



## shivster (Jan 17, 2007)

HATE IT!

Also your baby's sw sounds like a right ***! So sending big   and congratulations for keeping your cool!

Our DS sws (he has had 3 in 20 months) have been quite pleasant people if disorganised and difficult to track down!

Hope your 2nd review goes well.

Shivster


----------



## Tibbelt (May 16, 2005)

Oh SW's do say the most thoughtless things!!!   Hang on in there Dawn and don't fret, sounds to me that you're doing  brilliant job!  

take care
S
xxx
p.s. Marmite - I love it! And so do my nieces, nephews and godchildren - nothing they like more than munching on marmite soldiers!


----------



## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

i'm an 'on the fence' person with marmite..its ok but more of a Bovril girl myself!

but man, that sw needs a good  what on earth does she mean 'i might change my mind yet' ? was that a threat? i think its an extraordinary thing to say..if you dare i would mention it at the review in front of the reviewing officer and say how much it upset you. if nothing else mention it to your sw just so that she's got the measure of this unbelievably unprofessional individual up front of the review.

and as for marmite having lots of salt, well i'm sure you arent serving it to her morning noon and night and frankly other people feed thier kids loads of rubbish processed food which will prob contain far more salt 

 to you and a big  at the sw

kj x


----------



## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

What a mean SW. Loads of kids eat and love marmite. Nigella's even done a recipe for perfect marmite sandwiches for kids. 

Your sw sounds a right jobs-worth, she should have been a parking inspector!   

I like marmite, DH loves it...I bought him the champagne one for valentines day which is nice but is a bit weird at breakfast time as it definately has an alcoholic tinge to it! Incidentally he was outraged when i took a liking to Vegemite on holiday in NZ....I prefer it to marmite now!


----------



## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Dont get me started on social workers  

Childrens guardians from the courts make just as stupid comments! One made a comment about something on a visit recently so I reported her remark! As Keemjay says when it is all over and you can reflect it is worth mentioning it to someone how hurtful the comments were and hopefully the person concerned will think before they speak in future! 

big  and try to ignore her!
xx


----------



## sundog (Jun 21, 2007)

I'm afraid I too break the rule and can take it or leave it.

As for your SW, I am absolutely horrified that she could be so spiteful and unprofessional! She is talking about people's lives, not some game!   This is hardly an approriate time for a power trip and I agree with KJ, that if you feel you possibly can you should make her boss aware of this.

I hope you have managed not to take her to heart. It would take something pretty substantial for things to not go ahead now, a little bit more than Marmite    

sundog
x


----------



## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

I love marmite but don't eat it very often.....

What a thoughtless sw though!  Surely she must realise what a comment like that can do to people?  I think some of them get off on the 'power' they have over us but I'm sure you'll be fine and everything will go through smoothly.

Love
OT x


----------



## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Yuk - Hate it!

Grrrr what a nasty thing to say!! 

How about telling you how well you're doing?  

Hopefully she was having a bad day (not that thats any excuse) and will be more positive next time


----------



## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

I can't find enough words to fully express how much I can't bear the smell or taste of the afore mentioned marmite!!!!!!!!
As for that SW I am speechless, keep it stored away and at a later date mention it to someone.
Take care love JD x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi 

I LOVE marmite however dont eat it often as DH HATES it ........nowt better then marmite toast or cheese and marmite sarnies

I would prob say something as the review meeting along the lines of "so you havent changed your mind then?I am still ok to buy DD summer clothes for holidays?   " 

Massive   for the silly comments- our SW is fab however one SW did say a throw away comment to me and it has played on my mind

xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi,

love it myself.......my favourite is toast with marmite and slices of banana on top.......deeeeelicious! Do you think I'm compensating for never having proper pregnancy cravings?? 


As for the SW.....what a cowbag! If I were you I'd definately say something to your SW about it.

xruth


----------



## dawny36 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi all,

Sorry for the delay in replying but I have been busy unpacking my years supply of marmite  

Thanks for all of your support and advice it really helped and reassured me.

Also found the varying comments on marmite hilarious which in turn cheered me up no end !

We have our own s/w visiting on tuesday who is lovely, very down to earth with tons of common sense and I will be mentioning it to her just to see her response really ,it will be nice to see her as we have always found her to be supportive and not at all critical she has been off since before christmas so we have had more visits from our little girls s/w than the norm as ideally they would take in turns.

Myself and dh also think a lot of this is down to her liking to be in control and I guess with the adoption order looming she is losing that control who knows? Right from the start she has told us how 'lucky' we are to have been matched to her and that she is a 'gift' not that we disagree with this as we do feel extremely lucky but we dont need to constantly reminded of this as we feel this is a two way street in adoption and as most of us ladies and gents on here we have been through a hell of a time to get to this stage so deserve a bit of luck!!

Thanks once again and I hope I can continue to offer some support to others on here when I can

bye for now

Dawny


----------



## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Love it...and would definitely serve it up to Charlie and Lola IF they would eat it!!!
As for the SW...words fail me...but then ours is pretty useless too in other ways...turns up says very little and generally upsets them for a few days! She never thinks to say anything reassuring to them and Charlie at 4 1/2 could certainly do with that, he's a bright little boy with a good memory and I certainly need to do alot of reassuring after visits!
Hope all goes well Dawn I'm sure it will and you'll have that adoption order before you know it!
Viva
X


----------



## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

marmite - HD loves it; DD and me think it is ok. I don't think either of us would choose it in preferance to jam but we'll eat it if offered.

Re Sw - what a horrid thing to say .

However, (voice of doom and gloom)our lovely sw (who really has been truly wonderful) was quite clear not to book holidays _at all _ until we had actually been to court. And he was in some ways right to remind us as we signed off on the court papers in Feb thinking we'd be at court in April/Mmay and we didn't get to court til October and her new birth cert (needed for passport) didn't arrive until Christmas!

He would have been ok about us going on a short break in UK (we asked about 3 nights up north but didn't go in the end) but I think if you want to go for more than a few days you need to let them know as it has to be logged somewhere and they need to check if you are going where BF are etc (not quite sure..but know we had to let them know for even a uk break).

maybe it is just a case of 'please don't book anything as nothing is certain until you have actually been to court' but just said really really badly??

magenta x (aka the voice of doom )


----------



## dawny36 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi Magenta,

Thanks for your reply to my post I understand what you are saying in a way but our holiday would of been 10months into the placement so didnt think we were been premature in terms of court, right from the first review we were told that we could apply after 10 weeks and that it should be straightforward for our particular case.

We have never been adviced not to book a holiday if in the uk but to let them know if outside the uk as we would have to get bf permission prior to order which makes sense.

I do find it strange that nothing is certain until court. some children especially older children have already lived at several places prior to been placed with their 'forever family' and would be devastating for them if this was then not certain.

Thanks again for your advice and kind words

Dawnxx


----------



## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Dawny - it is weird that things are never 100% certain isn't it?  Ours was very straight forward (everything was free/clear/signed off) too so it is a shame they always put a downer on things.

For us one additional problem of going abroad before court would be getting a passport in birth name which needed signed off by children's hearing/panel people (in absence of parental signature) so always a bit of an admin problem that they want to avoid - given that it took months to get our review team all together in the same room to agree to go forward to court due to other meetings/holidays/sick etc  we might have been longer waiting for a passport than the court date!

Anyway - hope you have a wonderful holiday.  I am very envious...we were looking at haven holidays for a few nights but last night's tv programme about childcare has really put us off using holiday clubs/nanny services.

magenta x


----------



## billy69 (Nov 5, 2007)

I hate it. It just should be banned, its possession and use made a criminal offence, so the discussion will be closed once for all - unless DW wants to mention it when I will visit her in jail.

Billy


----------

