# Unsure where to start my host surrogacy journey



## MrsLingley (Oct 3, 2013)

Hi All,

Complete newby here, looking for some information and advice (or as much as i can get)

ive always known i want to be a host surrogate from a really early age and now i have been fortunate enough to complete my own family me & my husband are ready to help complete someone else's.

whats everyone opinion on agency vs private surrogacy, I'm just looking for pros & Cons of both.

Hope everyones journey is going well, id appreciate any responses 

lots of love
Kerri


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Kerrie

It's an amazing thing to offer to do for someone so thank you, whatever you decide.

I'm sure the ladies here will add their views on agencies v independent surrogacy, but if you so decide you want to work with an agency, the three non profit organisations in the UK are Surrogacy UK, COTS and Brilliant Beginnings and all have a slightly different approach so it's worth checking out what suits you best. There's more info for prospective surrogates on the Brilliant Beginnings site here http://www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk/surrogates or do give us a call for a chat if you want to talk things through.

Natalie


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## leesax (Aug 26, 2012)

Hi,

I am an Ip and have been in the surrogacy world for quite a long time.  
Our personal preference was indy rather than agency and so most of the surrogates that I know are indy also. I think it depends what you want and how you feel most comfortable.  

Indy you join groups, boards etc and chat to people, form frienships or a relationship with a couple and then proceed that way ( all the info you will need will be availble from those who are on the boards/group due to their experience) but you do not have a 3rd party as such all contact and agreements, discussions etc are directly between you from the word go - no profiles to go through etc. Some people prefer that safety net.

Agencies they do the checks for you, do the initial interviews, link you with similar profiles etc  to start discussions and you have them to go to if you have concerns or worries.  As a surro I am sure you would be matched pretty quickly, but for IPs it is not a guaranteed route for a match and can be very expensive, which is why a lot of Ips go indy these days as they can get what they need/want going the indy route.

As a surro though you could join an agency as it is free and still chat to others which could lead to an indy match....


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## MrsLingley (Oct 3, 2013)

Thankyou for both your replies, I really appreciate any advise and info I can get as I'm aware it's not a decision taken lightly and at the moment my initial gut instincts are to go with an agency, for my first time hosting at least as I feel it would give me all the tools I need and experience to go Indy second or third time. 

My only apprehension is what you touched on and that's cost, I by no means have any interest in financial gain and I get that expenses are paid but to receive money like they do in America etc would make me feel used and just give that always worrying thought that someone had a hidden agenda and to me trust is key, I'd need to know my IP's had complete faith in me & same in return.

The only other thing I feel with agencies is that they ask you too many specific questions that I feel cannot be answered until you create a relationship with a couple and you both connect on what you both agree and don't agree on. I know they do it for matching purposes but this is a little life we are talking about, and I feel I want more of a personal connection rather than pushed together because our answers matched.

I think in summary I'm quite open minded and the only question I feel I could 100% answer at first is that I'm only willing to be a host surrogate. I've printed and filled my application with COTS and will go from here to begin with, it's a learning journey and one I'm proud to be on  

Thanks again for your replies....


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## leesax (Aug 26, 2012)

MrsLingley said:


> Thankyou for both your replies, I really appreciate any advise and info I can get as I'm aware it's not a decision taken lightly and at the moment my initial gut instincts are to go with an agency, for my first time hosting at least as I feel it would give me all the tools I need and experience to go Indy second or third time.
> 
> My only apprehension is what you touched on and that's cost, I by no means have any interest in financial gain and I get that expenses are paid but to receive money like they do in America etc would make me feel used and just give that always worrying thought that someone had a hidden agenda and to me trust is key, I'd need to know my IP's had complete faith in me & same in return.
> 
> ...


Thats why I like indy - it's chatting and getting the 'click', so the match is based on a relationship.

8k - 15k seems to be the norm expenses wise - with most i know 9k-12k for first time - you need to think about all the cost involved petrol, clothes, food, childcare, time off work et etc you shouldn't be a penny out of pocket


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