# Top Tips!



## Viva (May 16, 2005)

This is not a thread exclusively for posting tips about parenting adoptive children but I thought that maybe we could share tips of things that we do that seem to really work. I got thinking about this after taking Lola to her speech therapy apointment, she wanted to stay and play with the toys, we needed to leave pretty quickly to pick up Charlie from school, I managed to negotiate with her and get her back in the buggy and out the door without a tantrum and the receptionist commented on this as she said a lot of children leave kicking and screaming because they don't want to go, which got me thinking about what I had done. So from me, here are a couple of things that I didn't work out until a few months ago and really seem to make my life easier.

Tip one: Before you need to leave somewhere if your child is enjoying themselves, tell them that you will be leaving in a timeframe that makes sense to them, E.G 10 more pushes and you will have to get off the swing, we are going out when you have finished that puzzle, or for older children 2 minutes more playing then we will go, I then count down, 1 minute, half a minute. 

Tip two: If you think your child might be reluctant to go somewhere, distract by asking who (which toy) they want to take with them, I find this works very well with Lola when it's afternoon nap time or when we're picking Charlie up from school, involving the toy often encourages her along much faster and gives her a focus and makes the whole experience more fun. 

I look forward to reading everyone elses tops!

Viva
X


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

great idea Viva..and great tips..both of which i do and they def work! the 5 minute warning one is brilliant..littlie never ever tantrums about leaving anywhere (ok maybe the odd whine ) but she just knows the routine. i was just thinking that actually its only fair..i mean if my dh said to me at a dinner party 'right we're going now' and dragged me off home i'd be furious..what we usually do is one or other of us says 'i spose we should think about going in a minute..' so children should get the same treatment....

i will try and come up with some top tips too..willprob think about them as i go along/use them tomorrow 

kj x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Tips for night-terrors:

1: even though it is terrifying, try not to panic and stress. your little one is letting stuff out, so they are not keeping it inside....if that makes sense. 

2: enforce a very strict bedtime routine, same time, same build up, same songs/stories....anything and everythign you can think of. 

3: do a "review of the day". you can do it as a story or a chat "so, what did we d today" or as part of prayers if that's your thing like "thank you god for a lovely day, we did...." By putting this in order for them, avoiding any mention of negative stuff it seems to really help.

4: Buy some ear plugs and take turns. I felt really guilty the first time i used the ear plugs, but decided i was not being as good a parent as i should be with no sleep.

5: teach them to self-soothe (is that the right phrase for them falling asleep them selves?) this way if they do wake up, so long as they are not too upset they may drop back off on their own. 

Hope this helps, Boo1 suffered from this for a long time, but after a month (or even less) these techniques sorted it out.
xxruthie


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Ruthie great tips   I totally agree with the keeping same routine and also reviewing the day as we did that and it seemed to work, K now chats about his day to himself before going to sleep 

x


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