# HELP



## alley73 (May 24, 2008)

Hello to any-one reading.....
well a wee bit about my-self, im married to a fab dh we have a wonderful dd age 7 ( nat preg) after 18 months  of trying , in 05 i had a ruptured ectopic and lost my right tube (it was that bad i nearly died)...anyway we went for ivf in march /april 08 got 3 eggs none fertilized    so that was it , dh said we cant afford another go (although we are on a private waiting list)  i didnt really think about having more treatment as we cant really afford it ..... but last monday the hosp rang and said that we were top of the list and our offer of private icsi would start on my october cycle..... dh took the phone call and i came home on my lunch break and he told me all about it ....as i had put it out of my head i was shocked that dh was up for it..... so i thought long and hard about it  ....yes i would love to give dd a sibling.... but what if it fails.... and the money we loose....am i doing the right thing?
This is my last go and i dont want to have any regrets in the future....so what im saying is ...........if you had the money for one last go would you do it
  thanks alley xoxo.


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## kerrys (Feb 28, 2005)

Hi Alley,

you probably don't want to hear this but only you and dh can decide, you know your financial situation.

We had years of treatment before we got to the IVF stage and i went on the private and NHS list as I just didn't think I could wait any longer for my chance.  When the letter came through to say we were at the top of the private list I felt a huge wait on my shoulders, I would never gamble that amount of money on anything else, I had never spent that amount of money on anything before the it scared the life out of me but I just had to do it, I had to.

I was VERY lucky and we got our   with our first attempt and I can't say what I would have done or how I would have felt if we had of failed but I just had to take the risk.

I hope this will help you and like I said only you and your dh can decide how much of a risk this is for you.

Good luck
Kerry


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## stephanie1 (Jun 14, 2006)

Hello

I agree with Kerry and if you have not had any treatments yet it is worth a try, i have had 5 treatments in total and the last one worked and we have the most beautiful and nice boy of 2 now. Woud do it again fr him bit we ave had hard time and bad luckk after and feel that we do not want to do it again, in a way we have been really blessed alreADY. gOOD LUCK WITH YOUR CHOICES!!!


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## alley73 (May 24, 2008)

Hi ladies,  thanks for your words of wisdom,
update on us is that we are going ahead with icsi  , we had a long talk, and both agreed hat it would be the right thing for us to do, we have come into a bit of money (not a lot) but it was a choice between  doing house up, getting a new car or gamble on icsi.....Well icsi won hands down, and if this last try fails  , well we gave it our best shot, and at least we have dd who is our whole world.

thanks  alley xoxo


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## kerrys (Feb 28, 2005)

I think your doing the right thing, no regrets in years to come when you gave it your all.
Fingers crossed.


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## alley73 (May 24, 2008)

Hi ladies,
thanks for your words of wisdom, well an update from me we had only one egg     and on day 3 it was only a 5cell, but we went ahead anway transfer on 17th all went well, had a quiet but fab xmas with dd and dh, then on the 28 th dec my af came     otd  was jan 1st, but we didnt get that far...... i lost so much blood  and huge clots , (sorry tmi) i was in so much pain and i knew nothing would survive this.....  but anyway it was a bfn,.... and i have no regrets...And i can say i WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN.... twice was enough for me , you are all so brave and i hope your dreams come true.... but thats it for me, im done, im getting off this rollercoaster now while im still strong enough to do so....


thanks to all  
          alley xoxo


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## dhikki (Sep 5, 2005)

Dear Alley,

I am so sorry that this treatment didn't work for you and your DH. It truly is a rollacoster. It doen't help now i know, but atleast you tried. You would have always wondered what IF? Look after yourself honey and give yourself time to be sad. You will get stronger it just takes time. Stay close and open with your DH keep talking and share your sadness. You need eachother more than ever at a time like this.

I send all my love and support to you, your DH and your DD 

Love Donna x


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## debblaze (Jan 19, 2007)

Hi,

Sorry to bombard your post but im just looking for some answers i suppose.  I had my first ivf last march, got pregnant but lost the baby early. We were going to do it again one last time but i suffer with ocd and its been really bad over the last few years of trying to get pregnant.  Also my partner is only doing it for me and it put a strain on our relationship.  Anyway, i dont think ill do it again but may regret it in years to come.  My question to everyone is, when i asked others whether to go for another cycle they said thats between me and partner but the the lady on this post you say, give it your all at least you wont look back at regret it.

In life we do regret things, i regret marrying my ex because i could have had a baby had i not left it to him to decide but now im older and fsh is high.

If it were just me as a normal person i think i would do it again but ocd has an affect on my life.  Just wondering what others think?

Thanks
Debsx


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## alley73 (May 24, 2008)

Hi Debblaze, first up im so sorry for your loss honey    i dont think i can answer your question.....i can only speak for me.....and im glad i went for icsi second time round, even though it failed for me     it some-how gives me peace of mind to know i did it ( and yes it was awful)...... but im glad i did it , as im 37 this year and i know I WILL NEVER DO TX AGAIN, i will look back in years to come and think yes i gave it my all...no regrets. Now i think i may feel like this as i have a wee honey (dd) age 7.... and she is my everything....the feelings dont go away, what  if but then thats just me, i wish you all the best and may your dreams come true, good luck on whatever path you take......


alley xoxo


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