# Adoption 'v' Surrogacy



## Grunders (Apr 8, 2015)

Hi there,
I am a newbie looking for some advice please   Some great threads on here. I am in my late 40's and my partner and I have been approved to adopt. The average matching time is 12 -18 months and we are 4 months in. Our first preference has always been a baby and we tried ourselves for 18 months but I have ovarian cysts, experienced a missed miscarriage at 42 and was not suitable for fertility drugs. I am also having a (slightly) early menopause with no hope of producing eggs myself.  

Whilst we considered surrogacy, we were not in a financial position to proceed with it at the time. During our adoption journey, we have managed to save towards having a family and had a light bulb moment over Easter when we realised we could probably afford to go down the surrogacy route, although ideally a straight surrogacy arrangement which I understand is not as common as host surrogacy.

In order to join SUK we will need a medical from our doctor. That is fine in that we are healthy however, if we need our adoption medicals updating and this is picked up, we will be discounted. We have no idea how likely it is that anybody would be prepared to be our surrogate, so if we close the door on the adoption too, we will never have the child that we would so like. 

Whilst I would prefer to only have one route to a family in mind, I am terrified that if one fails we will need a different way. 

Apologies if you have already fallen asleep at the length of this post, I am hoping that someone can advise on how likely we are to get a straight surrogate - I am 47, my partner 51. We are really lively and not not at all 'pipe and slippers', but then I would say that!

Also, has anyone used a private doctor to do a medical?

Thanks in advance for any advice or signposting.


----------



## MoonGazer (Jan 2, 2013)

I really have no advise I just wanted to wish you the best of luck!  x


----------

