# Tips & ideas needed for baby bonding



## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

We are only 8 weeks away from meeting our newbie daughter   Ooooh! I'm getting more excited by the day!!!!!!

Our first intro's were different because DD was 20mths old, and she could recognise faces in our family book, whereas newbie will only be 9mths old.
I've heard about smells and sounds being associated with the bonding techniques but I have no idea where to start!
Should I give FC something for newbie before intro's start? We have bought newbie a soft toy (especially for little babies!), could that we washed in our wash powder? Or sprayed with my body spray? Or even kept with me at night so it really gets my odour   (mmm, not sure about that one!!  )

But I really want to do whatever makes the first meet and the intense intro period easier for newbie. After all she is only a baby!!

Any ideas please ladies??


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Ever

Our DD was also 9 months old when we met her........so I can tell you what we did if it helps!!

First of all ask the FM what washing powder she uses, as YES it's a good idea for your new baby to get to know your scent etc but its also a reassuring smell to her if her clothes are washed in the same washing powder as the FM uses.  You can stop using it after a while as she will be used to different smells.

A toy that smells of you is a good idea and although you laughed it really does help your new DD get to know your smell, especially if given to the FM for your new DD to sleep with.  

A baby sling that you can carry your DD around in is really good as it brings you both closer/together and doesn't have to be restricted to just your smell, your DH could use it as well to carry his new DD around in.  I wouldn't buy a new one but ask friends if they have one they could loan you, wash it in the washing powder the FM uses and take it from there, we did this as even though our DD was only Small for her age she wasn't in the sling for long!

A tip I was given & I have to admit I laughed at the idea But it really did work..........wear a big baggy jumper, put baby under your jumper so her head is stuck out..........no suffocating!!.........her body will be close to yours and she will feel your heart beat....trust me it really works and our DD quiet often fell asleep on me this way.  I used to wear a really big baggy V neck jumper.

The only other tip I can offer is, is your DD willing to let one of her toys go to her new baby sister, so new baby sister can sleep with this toy, new baby will then get to know the scent of her big sister.  We did this with our DS, he gave DD a teddy & foster mum put that in DD cot along with the pink bunny we had bought for her.  DD could not move for all the toys she had in her cot.......some things never change as DD sleeps with loads of toys on her bed!!

Hope this helps.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Ever

Oh i can feel your excitement! its lovely!

Our 2 are older then your new DD however we are doing a dvd for our 2 so they can used to our look, voice and also the house.

I know when on prep they talked about putting a teddy/blanket in your bed and sleeping with it for a few weeks to get your smell- maybe you could find out what washing powder the FC used and wash it in that and then  have it in your bed? 

We have wahsed all our little ones stuff in the same stuff as FC uses and also have washed alot of our stuff in it too! (just cos i am liking this new smell!    )

Maybe you could do some pics and laminate them for newbie DD?

Hope this helps

xxxx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hiya,
Thanks girls. I did ask FC about the washing powder, but she said she doesn't always use the same one, she grabs whatever's on offer (same as me then!!).
She did mention one brand that she likes, so I think I might get some of that and like you suggest, keep the teddy with me for a few weeks upto the meet.

Do you reckon I should pass over, whatever I've contaminated   the week before intro's maybe? So she knows our smell before she meets us??

I smiled at your jumper story Andrea, but thinking about it, it'd make sense to try that. I've heard before that skin-to-skin contact and the heartbeat can help a connection to happen.

Thanks again!

x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Testing that I've transferred my new ticker on

 Has it worked? D'oh! Probably not!!!


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## dawny36 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi ever,

Our dd was 10 months when matched to us 12 months when intros started so was already become wary of strangers, out intros lasted 7days 3 of those days she was with us on our own.

I wore the same jumper every day and we did a picture book for her which the fm showed her every night and I had the same jumper in the photo, I also have shoulder length and I made sure I wore it down every day and didnt tie it up thought this might confuse her although in hingsight should of worn it the other way round to stop hair pulling 

Oh and I did wash my jumper in between visits in case you were wondering  

My dh wore the same outfit as well.

We were also advised not to put her into any new clothes too quickly, making sure she wore the ones she were familiar with, and we were able to keep her cot blanket etc which I think helped.

will your dd be about 11 months then when intros start?

Hope this helps

Dawn

xxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

you might have already got your pushchair but we were going to get one that could rear face as well as forward so that she would get to know/read our faces/mannerisms/voices in the first few weeks.  we didnt in the end as Littlie was a bit too old to rear face by the time weactually got her home ..just added that in case you asked me which one we bought..there arent that many that can face both ways...

kj x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Thanks Dawn and kj.

Our newbie will be almost 9mths when we meet her  .
I remember the "wear own clothes" saga first time round with DD. Mind you she was 20mths old and so seem to accept pretty much everything from day 1 anyway. Whether that was good FC's or just how she was anyway, I don't know, but we do know how very lucky we were with her. She toddled in like she'd always lived here. Very funny. One thing that I regret about those first few days and weeks of DD's arrival is that we did very little camcording of her. So although we have tons of photos of those early days, I wish now that we had some more film of her, because it's hard to remember all their funny little ways!   Oooh! memories!!  

keemjay - yes we have already got our pushchair. We had been wondering about forward/backward facing, but FC said at our meeting that newbie always seemed miserable in her pram and never enjoyed long rides in it. So they'd turned it around so she can see the world and she loves it now! FC advised us to get an outward facing one.

x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever,

Sleeping with the teddy to make it smell of you is one I did. I also bought a grow bag and sent it to FC to wash and get her to sleep in few days prior to into's. She also sleeps with a big teddy in her cot which came with her.

Hope that helps.

PBMx


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## Freddie2 (Feb 1, 2007)

Hi there

Agree with everything everyone has said

I also took a note of the foster carer's routine, and tried to follow it very closely (ie bath in the eve etc).

I tried to keep changes to a minimum - ie kept her in the clothes the foster carer gave me, used the same bottles etc.  The foster carers had the tv on a lot so so did I.

I tried to re-create the foster carer's sleeping arrangements - put her in a moses basket in a cot in my room as per foster carers.  Although she was probably too old for a moses basket by the time she came to us, she really liked this as she felt cosy and secure.

Also recreated the bathing arrangements. She loves her baby bath and the one time I tried her in the big bath she screamed.  Same soaps, nappies etc.

I cuddled and carried her loads and loads.  Foster carer used to sing one particular song to her which I still do - really seems to soothe her.

For the first month I tried to keep visitors to a minimum which was hard but really important.  Wish I'd done this even more, but it was hard keeping some people away!  I also kept her at home a lot and didn't take her to big events at first - for example I was invited to a big christening but didn't take her as felt it was too soon.  I was always the one who fed her and still am.

Our little one made the transition remarkably well.  She was a bit unsettled at first and cried more than she does now, but she settled in very quickly.  I think children sense when they're loved.

Hope this helps and very best wishes for everything.  You must be very excited

Love Fx


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