# how old is too old for the child?



## sandee2002 (Jun 24, 2003)

Hy 

I am 46 and have had two icsi...no luck..
Thinking of donor eggs am I too old? How will the child feel having an "old" mum. So many doubts. If I had a child this year, by the time I was 60 the child would only be 13. I worry is it fair on the child..........help!!

sandy


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi Sandy 

I have found this thread

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=42155.0

Its ladies over 40 that are mums or mums to be, thought you might be able read some of it and see what they have to say about it 

I don't know as sadly have had success but I think young children make you stay young 

I want to wish you luck in what ever you decide 

Love Jo
x x x


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## bottleofwater (Jun 19, 2007)

hi Sandee

Your not that old, there are women on hear trying and who are 55 with donor eggs. Many are also are in their late 40's. I am 44 and looking at donor eggs, still trying with my own without ivf, but have had miscarriages due to age I guess of eggs.


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## nanjane (Dec 5, 2007)

My mum had me at 46 and I never felt there were any negatives to having older parents . In fact I had a much better childhood than my much older brothers and sister as they were better off by the time I came along. I have had my first child at 40 and I wouldn't have wanted a child until later. I have a career and only now  consider myself ready to be a parent.


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## ♥Tamsin♥ (Jun 29, 2004)

Age is just a number!
Real age is how you are mentally and physically!
40+ PG's / parenting are becoming far more the norm these days, whether natural or IVF/ICSI


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Sandy

I agree with Tamsin.  We had our wee girl when I was three months short of my 43rd birthday. She is now 13 months old.  I think that I manage just as well as some of the mums I know in their 20s, and I also think that age has made me a bit more laid back!  I suspect that our wee one will keep me young mentally, although I am very conscious also of the need to keep myself in good shape physically so that I can run around after her.  

The only drawback we have experienced so far is that taking out life insurance when you are older is rather more expensive than for younger people.  (Without being morbid, because of our ages, we felt that it was important to provide cover for our wee one until she was 21).  There other financial implications to consider too, although as nanjane says, the chances are that your finances are more settled by the time you reach your 40s.

There are probably other things to take into account too - most friends my age are currently looking at their teenage children leaving home quite soon (and telling me how they are looking forward to the opportunity to travel, enjoy "me-time", take up hobbies etc).  However, we spent a long time ttc and have already had all that so we have no regrets whatsoever. Because most of my friends and family have children alot older than our wee one, I am also putting alot of effort into going along to things where we can meet other mums and babies as I do worry sometimes about her not having friends her own age.

I think that being a mum is fabulous and I am enjoying every minute.    I honestly believe that it's your mental age rather than your actual age which is important.


Good luck

Ellie


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## sandee2002 (Jun 24, 2003)

Hy Everyone,

I have to say, I am heartened at the response. My doubts are put to bed so to speak.
Ellie having insurance for the wee one is a good idea, I had not thought about that..
That was one of my concerns, if anything happend and the financial implications.
nanjane again you have reassured me, glad you didnt feel the age factor affected you..,
jo, bottleofwater and tamsin...its so good to know that its a mental attitude thats important,,,thank you all...

lov
sandy


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## humran (Jan 9, 2008)

sandee2002 said:


> Hy
> 
> I am 46 and have had two icsi...no luck..
> Thinking of donor eggs am I too old? How will the child feel having an "old" mum. So many doubts. If I had a child this year, by the time I was 60 the child would only be 13. I worry is it fair on the child..........help!!
> ...


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## humran (Jan 9, 2008)

sandee2002 said:


> Hy
> 
> I am 46 and have had two icsi...no luck..
> Thinking of donor eggs am I too old? How will the child feel having an "old" mum. So many doubts. If I had a child this year, by the time I was 60 the child would only be 13. I worry is it fair on the child..........help!!
> ...


hey sandy i am 48 only just ha ha and going through ivf using donor i think being older we are more wiser and have alot more to offer at our ages we have been through such alot and we are more relaxed i have had children by my previous marriage and i can remember being worried scared not very finacially secure not really being able to enjoy them now i am the opposite and want this to happen more than anything i have ever wanted yes if i am lucky enough i will be the oldest mum at the school play but so what i feel being older i can give my baby so much now anyway i think of myself being 38 not 48 ha ha and more than likely i will end up giving them advice after all we have experienced more than they could ever imagen


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## kelly-michelle (Nov 28, 2002)

Hello Ladies,
I'm not new to the site and still look in from time to time. but have recently been thinking about should we or shouldn't we as I'm now 49. Have used donor eggs before successfully and the more I look at our gorgeous son who is nearly 2 I feel that I don't want him to grow up on his own so to speak. I called the clinic today but the only thing is that we wanted to use the same donor. This may not be possible as she was anonymous. We will make some further enquiries and see what happens.

Love to all specially to anyone who remembers me
Kelly Michelle


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## roze (Mar 20, 2004)

My mum was 46 when I was born, as was I when I gave birth to my daughter. I wasn;t even the oldest mummy on the maternity ward!  I think as long as you are healthy and flexible of mind then it doesn;t matter although I would not have wanted to leave it any later than 47/48 personally.  I hope to live and stay healthy until 65 when my dd will hopefully be a fully fledged working adult. It is indeed an incentive to look after yourself and stay well. Our diets have changed as has our exercise regime.  Sometimes when situations arise with health professionals or when I think of the challenges ahead, I do feel glad I am older and wiser and more able to think laterally and challenge things. Your child can only benefit from your experience.  BTW many kids these days are virtually brought up by grandparents or even childminders who can be in their early 50s!


roze


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