# Anyone else using an Egg donor/Sperm donor of a different ethnicity?



## Guest (Jun 11, 2012)

We are currently going through surrogacy in India using eggs donated from an Indian lady.

I just wondered if there is anyone else out there going through DE IVF using eggs donated from a lady of another ethnicity or perhaps DS IVF using sperm donated from a man of another ethnicity to themselves.

I am interested in discussing how these people expect it to feel or have experienced it to feel, having a child who is of a different ethnicity to themselves and their partners. Our child (children) will be half Indian and half white British.

My mother is half Indian so this is not a strange idea for us at all, and we are both comfortable with it. But I wanted to see if there was anyone out there interested in discussing it?

AR x


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## CherryMarie (Jun 5, 2012)

Hiya, 

we'll be going down the IUI route to hopefully conceive & will be using a KD who is of a different ethnicity to us both, we're both of Caribbean descent and our donor is White British. Our care provider actually had an ethics meeting on our case which we found a bit odd.

So although hopefully we'll have a baby, it being biracial means nothing to us really, we just hope to have a healthy baby for us & our family to love


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## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

And that's the real issue isn't it.  How might a child feel?  If parents have different ethnicities themselves that's one thing, but for a child to be so clearly from an ethnicity not shared by either parent is another.  Openness and pride about the culture of the donor will help...but it is risky.
Olivia


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## alexine (Jun 8, 2010)

Olivia is it any more risky than when someone adopts a child from another race? Challenging might be a better term rather than risky? Just a thought.... 
xA


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## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

Annarosie. Just seen this and wish you the best of luck! I don't think with such kind and considerate parents your child will present too many challenges. After all, we live in 2012 and families are constructed in a variety ways. in in the future, even more so.  I saw two middle aged white parents today with two Asian children (called them mummy and daddy) aged about seven and nine. Adoption was my first thought but possibly double donor conceived. Yes I did a double take but out of interest and delight. Rlx


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## chaab01 (Mar 16, 2011)

Annarosie, congratulations on your pregnancy! I wholeheartedly agree with Richmondlass, in today's world a family is made up in so many ways. What is important is the love, care, suport and values provided by the parents. We ourselves have had to go down the donor route, after being told that my eggs were not that great and before we did I asked myself so many questions about genetics until I finally came to the realisation that it doesn't matter, a family is one which loves one another and the child grows up to know that he/she is loved unconditionally.

My dad was adopted as a baby and he found out when he was young that he was adopted. My grandparents were very honest with him and said they would tell him all he wanted to know. My dad refused to find out more as he said they were his parents and that was all that mattered to him. Even when they passed away he wasn't bothered about finding out his genetic background it just wasn't important as he grew up in a safe and loving environment and he knew he was adored by his parents, my wonderful grandparents. My two sisters and I have always known as well and to us our grandparents were indeed that our grandparents. 

Also just to finish I think any form of parenting these days is challenging whether you fall pregnant naturally, go through IVF, go through Donor IVF, use a surrogate or adopt. Yes, I think the latter 3 require a great deal of thought but in a loving environment surely anything is possible.

Xxx


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hiya Ladies,

Just wanted to add my bit.

It's a shame we are not the same as America.  We recently went to Florida and see families where white parents had African/Chinese/Cambodian children

I had tears in my eyes seeing how happy the children looked and the pure joy in the parents faces.

I don't want to hijack Annarosie's thread, but what a shame that there seems to be so much stigma in this Country where people adopt/raise children from a different ethnicity to them.

I wish you all the best once your little one is here safely.

X


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