# Meeting medical advisor and foster carer



## Tw1nk82 (Dec 5, 2012)

We go to see the medical advisor and foster carer next week. What happens at these meetings and what questions should we be asking? Xx


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## RocketJ (Mar 29, 2014)

I had this meeting a couple of weeks ago. The medical advisor meeting was a complete joke - she didn't know what the meeting was for (kept asking me questions about the child as though I had met him) and had no knowledge about FASD other than what Google had brought up for her on a quick search. She ended up redirecting most of my questions back to me as I have a more specialised knowledge of it than her from my research!

The foster carer meeting was great though. We talked very generally about routines etc, and any developmental progress since my last update from SWs. In hindsight I wish I had asked more specific questions about the things I need to buy to be ready for intros (what does he use for his milk - bottle or sippy cup? What does he sleep in? What shampoo etc do you use?) I did ask some of those questions, but more things keep occurring to me as I try to prepare. We talked lots about things like what time he has naps etc, but actually those things I will find out during intros whereas I would like to know about what to buy beforehand so I don't have to do mad shopping trips in the middle of intros!

We also talked quite a lot about the birth family as we had the contact supervisor in the meeting also. That was the bit that I found most emotional, but I was really glad it happened. They asked me what I would like them to tell birth mum about me - it was hard to balance my feelings about becoming a mum with the knowledge that she is losing her child. 

Whew - just be prepared for it to be yet another roller coaster ride on this crazy journey! Hope it goes well xx


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## Brummig (Jan 14, 2011)

Our appointment with medical advisor was quite useful.  There were a few questions from the CPR and she was able to give a bit more info on some, and specifically on something that had come up in the first medical.

Meeting FC.  Ours started badly (nothing to do with FC) but we found out lots about routine.  Because of some delays in our panel date some of this was out of date by the time we met her, like she had  started walking, but it gave us lots of good information about what kinds of things she liked, eg water so I found out about swimming lessons.  She also told us some things about her temperament and normal routine, which was a good baseline, as nothing in introductions is normal.  Our SW had given us a list of questions which were helpful, but I think I was so anxious and excited I just rattled through the list hardly pausing for breath so probably came across as a bit of a nutter!

Our FCs were lovely and were happy for us to contact them if any questions.  We agreed that text would be best way of communicating when she came to us - don't have to respond straight away if in the middle of something, but I'll always reply.  FC was very honest too, one of the most helpful things she said to me was "sometimes she just cries - its not about you, or being hungry, or anything , she just cries sometimes". Didn't mean we ignored it and just let her cry, but it was really helpful to know and it wasn't necessarily that we were doing something wrong.  She had been with FCs since 3 weeks old, until she came to us at 17 months.

Hope all goes well x


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## weemoofrazz (Sep 6, 2013)

Tw1nk82

Our meeting with medical advisor was really useful. Questions will vary depending on each LO's circumstances, but I'd ask the following as standard (you may already have some of this info);

Birth weight
Head circumference measurements. A small head circumference can mean several things.
BMs pregnancy....how she presented at appointments etc any evidence of drug/alcohol abuse in utero
Any familial diseases? 
What grandparents other extended birth family members died of?
Any history of mental health issues with BF? Particularly schizophrenia
Any developmental delay? If so in what areas?
Any hospitalisations for LO? 


Our meeting with FCs was also very good, again there are some standard things to ask which will again depend on what you already know and the age and stage of your LO. Search on here as there has been a great post previously that has loads of example questions, can't remember the posters name though. In particular and just based on our experience I would ask really specific things such as if LO likes cuddles, how they are with regard to eye contact. If they have any scars etc and if so what happened. Any chicken pox etc and if so when. How are they around other children in different situations outside the foster home. 

Good luck and remember you can always usually go back to either the medical advisor or the FCs for more info, so don't worry if you forget to ask something, or think of something important after the meetings.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Our meeting with the medical advisor was very good and informative. She had all of our sons records and was able to tell us about birth family medical history. She also gave us advise on sons developement and what to look out for.
We were also able to ask her questions about things on his paperwork that we didn't quite understand.


FC meeting was lovely. FC brought a DVD of photos of son and a few small clips. He just started to crawl that week so she filmed it for us.
We got to ask a lot about his routine, what his likes and dislikes were. Nappy sizes, what sort of milk, how he is soothed if upset. What he liked to eat and didn't. What age clothing he was in.
Also what he would be coming home with, bedding, pushchair, toys, clothes etc, this gave us an idea what to buy ready for intros and home coming.


Our FC was lovely, she had him from hospital to 10 months and even now we see them twice a year and talk regularly.
My son knows them as auntie and uncle and always points to them in his life story book with affection


Hope that helps xx


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