# My wife starting IUI. Should I start with donor?



## kathdoug (Jan 10, 2011)

Hi everyone,
I've just joined this form and have found many helpful topics, however I would like some advice please.

I am 35 in April and my wife is 36.  I have tried several attempts of TCC with a sperm donor, this was last year, but no pregnancy  

Now i have found a great donor, he's had all STD checks etc.  I tried with him last month and it didn't work    
Me and my wife have decided for her to try now as she is the eldest between us, but she doesn't feel comfortable in trying at home insem', so she has chosen to go via a clinic, which I am fully supportive off.  She will start next month with IUI.
My Q is, shall I still continue doing at home insem's with my chosen donor, as it's not guaranteed that my wife falls pregnant first time.  Also, both our biological clocks are ticking, so we both don't want to miss out.
Any advice is greatly received. Thank you


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## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

I think that you can only make your decision based on how you would feel (and indeed cope!), if you both got pregnant the same month! It's pretty unlikely, but it can happen (as you've seen from TwoBumps thread)   
I know another couple who purposely were trying to get pregnant at the same time, so that they would be able to have a good stretch of time together with their new babies whilst on mat leave (in the end, they had their babies about 4 months apart, which wasn't too far off their target). 

If you think that you could cope with being pregnant together and having 2 newborns close in age, and both your biological clocks are ticking, then I'd say go for it! But you definitely both need to be in agreement about it from the start   

Given your respective ages, it might be worth both of you having hormone tests done to look at your fertililty (AMH and FSH are two of the key ones) - your wife may have had these done already at the clinic if she's starting IUIs next month. It could help your decision making if you find that either of you has very good, or rather low, fertility for your age.


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## kathdoug (Jan 10, 2011)

Thank you for your advice Nismat.  We've come to the conclusion, after reading about alot of  other peoples journeys, that we should both try.  It's not guaranteed that it will work first, second and even third time around.

I've inseminated from Monday and everyday this week.  Monday was my LH surge - so fingers and toes crossed. Will know in 2 weeks  

Thank you


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