# Treatment Chat 2019



## Aggieblue

Hello All,

Let's see if we can revive this forum on International Women's day? Where are all the single ladies doing this alone?

I am starting my first IVF cycle next week on short protocol. I just received all my medication, very daunting! But I'm very excited!


Any advice for a first-timer?


Thanks


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## bopster

Hi all (and Aggieblue whose post prompted me to post),

Well after months of lurking I thought it was about time I actually wrote a post given that I have just had a rapid fertility assessment at Wessex. Like Aggieblue I am a first timer and currently trying to figure out whether to try IUI or go straight for IVF. All seems well according to the clinic aside from being 39 and the biological clock ticking. 

How did people decide whether to go IUI or IVF, was it cost vs success rate?  

I know there has been many posts about donor sperm banks but I wondered how people decided which to go with?

Apologies if these questions have all been asked before!

Many thanks


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## Tincancat

The biggest advantage at your age for IVF, Bopster, is you would get to try for siblings if it was successful and you fertility is frozen at the age you currently are.  IUI could work first time but then when you come to perhaps try for a sibling you would be early 40s with rapidly declining fertility.
TCCx


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## bopster

Thanks Tincancat, I had never even thought of that.


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## Aggieblue

Hi bopster!

I spent a sleepless week trying to decide between IUI and IVF (I'm also 39, although not very long now). My clinic also recommended i start with IUI. I decided to go with IVF instead. Honestly, the price once you add everything up wasn't that huge of a difference and the success rates are way better for IVF. I was most worried about wasting time trying IUI and they recommend to try at least 3 times. That can easily end up 6 months of your life.

Regarding sperm bank, I went rogue and invited some girlfriends over to have a 'donor selection party'. we looked through all suitable profiles on all the sites that I could order from (my clinic works only with a few banks). So i didn't choose the bank specifically but the donor.

I hope this helps!


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## bopster

Hi Aggieblue! 

What stage are you at now with your IVF? I'd be interested to hear how you get on   

Now that I have decided to go the IVF route, I am currently looking at the sperm banks that my clinic also suggests and it is definitely about the donor as you said. Currently struggling with the idea of it all (feels like online dating) to be honest but going with it. 

As it looks like I am not far behind you it would be good to keep in touch, good luck with your first cycle, fingers crossed x


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## Aggieblue

Hi boptser!

I'm on day 4 of my stimms. Not feeling the best to be honest, just so bloated and lost all appetite. Going in for a scan tomorrow, excited to see how the follicles are doing. I definitely feel VERY stimulated   see if it translates to follicles...

could you ask someone to help you with donor selection? i found it very helpful to have my close friends 2 cents on the matter.

Yes let's definitely keep in touch, try and keep this thread alive for all future newcomers  feel free to message me too!

x


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## bopster

Hi Aggieblue

How did your scan go?

RE: donor selection, yep I can probably do that, narrow the choices then get some input 

I noticed that you're on short protocol, my doctor offered me long protocol. Did they explain why? I didn't notice at the time because of information overload.

Will definitely try and keep this going to that we get more newbies and thanks, please feel free to message also!

x


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## Aggieblue

Hi bopster

First scan wasn't great, going back in the morning, hoping for more follicles growing!

They didn't really discuss with me whether to do short or long to be honest. I didn't question as I preferred the short protocol. I think it's all got to do with age and ovarian reserve, although it just seems to be a trial and error. Being a first timer, I probably didn't ask enough questions!

I'm on day 6 of my stimms and the side effects eased a little, but starting more medication tomorrow so see how that goes!

When do you think you're ready to start?


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## bopster

Hey Aggieblue

Just checking in to see how you're getting on? I am now at the stage where I am looking at donors properly with the idea to order asap. However, I have found a donor I really like at Xytex but they only have washed samples and I was planning for IVF. I have messaged them to see if they have any unwashed coming so now I am wondering whether to try one cycle of IUI with this donor (might suit timings due to holiday also)... then go for IVF with another donor... or just forget about this donor completely and go straight for IVF with another.

If I can overthink it, I will!  

Then I will call Wessex to arrange to go ahead.


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## Aggieblue

Hi bopster,

how exciting! my clinic said they could also use washed one but it may lose some motility as it's being washed again, so better buy a high motility sample. i did end up getting an unwashed sample in the end but maybe check with your clinic?

i had my EC today and they collected 8 eggs which is not bad for my age. Anxious to see how many gets fertilised and survives the next few days!


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## bopster

Hey Aggieblue,

Well done on the EC, how you getting on?   Eager to hear an update.


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## AnemoneBee

Hi Aggieblue and Bopster,

I thought I'd join in your conversation as I too am going it alone and am just about to start IVF lite with donor sperm. Start meds on Monday and feeling incredibly nervous! Good to know there are others out there. 

Hope you're both doing ok


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## bopster

Hi AnemoneBee

Good luck and hope all goes to plan   Look forward to hearing about your journey, feel free to PM me to chat further and share if you prefer.


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## Aggieblue

Welcome AnemoneBee! What meds are they putting you on on an IVF Lite? Curious to know why are you on this protocol? 

AFM - out of the 8 eggs 6 fertilised, which i was happy with. they needed to get to blastocyst stage for freezing so they called me again on day 5, when only one embryo was ready to be put on ice. cue another anxious 24 hours wait, and got the call this morning that 2 other were suitable for freeezing. phew! so 3 in the freezer, ready for FET.
i am also just getting back to normal in the abdomen at last, bloating has gone down and soreness eased too. i think i may be able to wear trousers again!


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## bopster

Yay sounds great Aggieblue  Hope all is still going well...

I have had a small setback on timing. I have no rubella immunity so had to have an MMR jab, looks like I have to go back in a months time for a booster, which means I am delayed by two months. This has given me a bit of a dilemma, I have narrowed donors down to four (yes, still loads as I can't seem to make a decision   ) but now that I have to wait two months do I choose one and order sperm now just in case I lose out on one of the four (whichever I go for) or wait another month or so run the risk of losing all of the four but new donors may pop up... do donors come up frequently? Am I overthinking it and should just go for one so I am ready when I need to be?


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## Aggieblue

bopster, not sure how often there are new donors but my feeling is that they run out of samples more often than they get new ones. I remember I had it down to the last 4 as well before deciding but once I decided (you almost need a spreadsheet of them to compare pros and cons  ) I ordered straight away to be sure I don't miss out. So I wouldn't wait much. I don't think there's such thing as being 100% content once I ordered it I never looked back and didn't think about it much anymore (and I could sleep again after many sleepless nights )


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## bopster

Well I am now down to 3...  

Any news with you Aggieblue? And AnemoneBee?


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## Aggieblue

you're getting there  

no news from me, i have my consultation for FET on Wednesday next week, really looking forward to that. It will be great to have a plan again and know approximate timings of things. Just enjoying being drug free and symptom free, being able to exercise etc. again. 

AnemoneBee, how are the meds going?


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## AnemoneBee

Hi Aggieblue and Bopster, 

Sorry it's taken me a while to reply - I've been heads down in hormones! 

Aggieblue, you asked why I'm on IVF lite? I self-selected in the hope that it wouldn't be quite so intense hormone wise. This is my first experience of anything like this so I've nothing to compare it to, but I don't feel particularly happy on the hormones already and still have two weeks to go before egg collection! I have to have some form of ivf as my tubes are crap but i thankfully have good egg reserve so thought I'd give lite a go. It's a bit cheaper which is a factor too, although multi cycle offers aren't available with it (at my clinic) so if I end up doing more than two cycles it will cost me just the same as ivf normal anyway. As it goes, that was one of the hardest bits for me working out packages and costs and balancing financial considerations with ultimate desire of having children... but then how the heck will I pay for a kid if/when it arrives if I've spent all my savings? With that latter point I've just decided to close my eyes and jump and work it out when/if I land! That's a long answer to your question... the short one is I whittled it (IVF lite) down to that being my best option.

Bopster, any news on your donor selection? I love the idea of having a donor selection party! I missed a trick there. I'm going with a clinic that has it's own donors and so really there was only about 10 left to choose from anyway - I ultimately chose the one that sounded the healthiest, as much as you can tell that from the detail given! 

How are you two getting on in terms of approaching this alone? I'm leaning heavily on a few friends and family members and am generally being well supported, although on occasion I've found it incredibly hard to keep taking the drugs/go to work/sleep etc which are things I'm doing when no one is around to support. I'm also totally obsessed and in a way I can't wait until the whole thing is over so I can think about something else for a while. I unhelpfully conjure up an image of a really supportive partner and how that would be great right now, but I suppose there's pros and cons to it all and going alone will have it's pros.... right?! 

Ha, that's probably enough from me right now, but sending lots of good wishes and strength your way x


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## Aggieblue

Hi AnemoneBee, thanks for sharing that. I'm very interested to see how it goes. Does it mean you still get hormones just not as much? Are they expecting to collect more than 1 egg still? 

In terms of support system, I am not from the UK so my family is not here, but I have a lot of friends who are involved from the beginning and are very willing to help, not just emotionally. I have two friends who offered to move in with them if I have a baby so they can help out. Which is amazing and I am so grateful! But yes, I do think about how lovely it would be to have a partner. I do know some women still date while undergoing IVF treatment but I don't know how that would appeal to any guys. I'm also turning 40 this weekend, so it doesn't help with feeling sorry for myself


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## bopster

Hey both,

Thanks for the update AnemoneBee, really great to hear how you're getting on. I look forward to hearing more as your journey continues. 

I have selected the donor I want, am a few days away from placing the order. Does your donor of Aggieblue's have known pregnancies?  Now I also need to phone the docs to book in my MMR booster vaccine then I should be good to go after a month.

From a finance perspective, did either of you look into the Access Fertility option? Given my age I could only do two rounds of IVF but I can't quite figure out of it is worth it. Probably doesnt help that I am trying to calculate the total spend for IVF myself, should probably just ask the clinic to do it for me...

In regards to your question about approaching this alone, I am struggling with the thought.  I don't actually want to meet a partner right now, I also have my parents moving closer (not linked to this process) but it doesn't take away from the idea of how lonely this journey will be but I am trying not to think too hard about it since it won't help holistically   . I have some very good friends, not like Aggieblue, but those I know I could reach out to if I really needed to. There seems to be some really good support networks like DCN, ** groups, forums (like this one) and meet up groups so I think you're doing the right things by reaching out here   Aggieblue, it's fab that you have such supportive friends since you're not from the UK. 

I am going to the single women's DCN preparation workshop in a couple of weeks, is anyone else reading this going also?

Keep us updated with your progress (A and A), it's great seeing how everyone is getting on.


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## AnemoneBee

Hi Aggieblue and Bopster,

Lovely to read your messages  - sounds like it's all go! That's great, keeping my fingers crossed. Bopster, I haven't done any research re Access Fertility so can't help on that front. The money bit is hard isn't it, trying to work out what's best and I have to say I found the clinics not very helpful in making it very clear. Big best of luck. 

Really interesting to hear how you're getting on with the single thing. Aggieblue, happy birthday! So lovely that you've got such good friends who will support you, and Bopster it sounds like you've got some good people round you too. You're right, it's not going to help to conjure up an imaginary partner - however I am still looking just in case! You never know, someone might be really keen to jump into this with me, some people are pretty cool! I also have some really supportive people around me and suspect that if it does all come to pass I will have to move temporarily in with my parents  . Anyway, one step at a time : for me, I have a scan at the mo to see how I'm progressing after a week of stims.

Bopster - I didn't know about those other support groups, will definitely look into them! Might be the start of a whole new friendship group!

Sending love and good wishes to you awesome single ladies (said in Beyoncé fashion)


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## Aggieblue

Hello both,

Great to hear from you both!

bopster -  yes my donor had reported pregnancies although I only checked this after I ordered the sample. I am not sure how much this information matters as it could be the best sample and all other things can go wrong and not result in pregnancy. Also not all countries are as regulated as the UK so some people may not need to report back.
I am with Access Fertility, I also went with their two-cycle package (i could have taken up the 3-cycle 50% refund package but somehow that still sounded like a lot of money!). I think it works out quite well if you have a few FETs as unlimited transfers are included in the package. I'm already saving money if I get to transfer all 3 embryos. It is hard to work out how much the whole cycle will cost. My medication was mush more expensive than expected as I needed to up my dose and stimulate for over 2 weeks so had to keep buying top ups.

AnemoneBee - i'm really wondering about dating while doing IVF. I've heard of people doing it - are you using any apps? I sometimes (out of boredome) think about downloading one of them and just putting IVF in my profile, but I don't know. it does feel like a long time to be off the dating scene.
How did the scan go?


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## bopster

Hi again Aggieblue and AnemoneBee

AnemoneBee - there's a really good hidden ** group for single women, if you private message me I can get you added. DCN network is definitely worth a look for support as they provide support groups to meet face to face and get you in touch with someone in a similar situation.

Aggieblue - really interesting to hear you went with the AF two-cycle package, thanks for sharing.  I was trying to figure out if it definitely works out cheaper than paying direct. Like you, the 3-cycle 50% package did sound like a huge outlay so I am also considering the two-cycle package... 

How many vials of donor sperm did you both order? Do you have an idea at the back of your mind about how many cycles you're going to try?

Also lovely to read your messages


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## bopster

Donor sperm ordered!


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## AnemoneBee

Yay Bopster! That's super exciting! I just bought one lot. And yes please I'd love to join the group.

Aggieblue, I reckon go for it on the dating front. I'm pretty confident that there are some people out there that will be so impressed with our gumption at having a crack at solo IVF that they'll definitely be interested.

I'm feeling fat and full - hopefully only a few more days of stims and hoping for egg collection on Monday. I'm bored of obsessing about the whole thing! 

Oh, Bopster: I'm taking it one cycle at a time. I have in the back of my mind that I might have another go in the autumn if this one doesn't come to pass but I'll just have to wait and see - money is a limiting factor and also I can't seem to not be obsessed by it all so not sure if I want to drag myself through this for too long. Time will tell! What about you two?


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## Aggieblue

thanks AnemoneBee, I did download one app last night, but also put it in the profile a bit about IVF so don't have to explain it one by one. If nothing else, good to take my mind off this all sometimes! I am totally with you with obsessing, I think I am keeping it at bay but also spend a lot of time reading blogs/forums/etc. I found the days after egg collection the worst, that 5 day wait to see if they grow into nice little blastocysts was very stressful. NOT looking forward to the 2WW! 
Exciting about EC on Monday! how many follicles are growing? are you doing a fresh transfer?

bopster, congratulations!!  one step closer! when do you think you get started?
I am not sure either I will continue after the two cycle package so I only ordered the two vials. I don't know how I feel about throwing more money at this as it is already so much more expensive than I expected.  but we will see how I feel at the end of it if it's all unsuccessful. Let's just hope it isn't!   

I'm feeling AF getting closer and closer... can't wait to get started


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## AnemoneBee

Good luck Aggieblue, hope AF arrives and you can get a date in. What day would they do FET? 
Yep I'm doing fresh transfer if there is anything to transfer! To be honest I can't remember what the nurse said now about how many I've got at the mo - could be 4 or 9! Haha. The perils of going alone, can't remember a thing except being pleased to put my pants back on! Got another scan in the morning so will have an update.
Well done on the dating possibilities! Inspiring. I'm going to a party on Saturday... you never know, might be someone there?!


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## bopster

Afternoon!

How's everyone doing? Looking forward to the long weekend?

Which app dd you go for Aggieblue?  In the past I tried POF which actually yielding two good dates (one not so) but I was very selective. Have you had any response? When are you doing your egg transfer? Fingers crossed, sending lots of good vibes your way xx

I have booked by MMR Booster in for mid May (next available)... so I have to wait a month before starting so it looks like all being well I would start end of June.  Currently getting my head around the Access Fertility bit (50% Refund vs Multi-Cycle) but since I am also trying to figure out the funding I think the cheapest option will be the only route since you have to pay upfront. 

AnemoneBee - I hear you about not remembering, that's why for the first consultation I ended up bringing a friend as I wasn't sure I'd absorb any of the information.  Good luck on Saturday! And let us know if you end up with EC on Monday  

Talking of issues with doing this alone... Had a bit of a crisis last night, in my head, about bringing up a child without a father based on something I had read.  I ended up searching loads of forums to read people's responses and had a few text exchanges with a friend of mine which calm me down.


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## bopster

Saw this:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/apr/30/wltm-other-lonely-mothers-could-a-friendship-app-transform-the-lives-of-single-parents


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## Aggieblue

bopster, that app is very promising! thanks for the link! regarding dating, i downloaded Hinge. never tried this one before but so far I'm impressed. 
i know it's scary doing this alone but try and think positively, we won't be alone forever (fingers crossed), I do intend to find a father for my child, if it works out. i haven't given up! 

AnemoneBee, i did ask them to print out my sheet so I can have a look at it later, as like you, it was too much information in too short of a time to absorb everything. I am not sure when my FET would be, some time towards end of May, seems ages away! but once I start on the meds it will go quick. Party is a good idea, definitely much better than all this swiping!


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## AnemoneBee

Hi Bopster, I think it's totally normal to have a flip out every now and then, it is a big and amazing decision to have a go on your own. I'm glad you're feeling a little better and thanks for sharing ideas on how to connect with others!

Aggieblue, I guess end of May will come round quickly. Waiting is a killer eh? Good idea to get things printed! I hadn't thought of that.

I have 6 follicles ready to go on Monday which I think is good, especially as I'm doing IVF lite. I feel nervous tbh, I'm nervous that I'll say something offensive when I'm high and I'm nervous about the result. But at least it's rolled on round to this stage now.


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## Aggieblue

Hi AnemoneBee, 6 follicles are great for IVF Lite! the best of luck for tomorrow.. you must have had your trigger last night. did you go to the party? 
during EC i was under 'sedation' but I just slept and can't remember anything from waking up. my friend who was with me told me I just told her to take photos   i know i want to keep everything in a scrapbook of this journey but why did i need photos of me passed out, I don't know, but i have them


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## AnemoneBee

Haha, thanks Aggieblue that's hilarious! Yep,  went to the party and had loads of fun but had to get home for midnight for trigger shot! Felt like cinderella! Off in a min for egg collection; not sure what to say about this...eeeek!


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## AnemoneBee

It was fine! Enjoyed the drugs and only did some minor repetition of how nice everyone was. They collected 9 eggs which seems to please those that know. Sofa and a cheeky glass of wine tonight xx


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## Aggieblue

wow, 9 eggs are amazing for IVF Lite! congratulations! hopefully those little eggs are having fun with the swimmers tonight and fingers crossed for good fertilisation by the morning!


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## bopster

Congrats on the EC! How you feeling a few days after it?


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## AnemoneBee

Thanks Aggieblue and Bopster, I'm fine thanks. 7 eggs made it through the first night so I'm going back in on Saturday for transfer; maybe there will be another one in the freezer?? It's all a bit weird and I'm absolutely taken with the science of it all! Love it. I haven't asked anyone to come with me for transfer but am meeting a friend, who doesn't know about it, afterwards to look round an exhibition! 

How are you two? Are you beginning to take any drugs yet? Interestingly, I read that some women find ivf emotionally hard because it feels so medicalised and they've gone from being a healthy women to one that has umpteen appointments and medication - it really resonated with me!


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## Aggieblue

7 fertilised and transfer on Saturday, how exciting!! any news on them or you'll only know on the day? I'm sure out of 7 there will be a few more to freeze. are you transferring 1 or 2?

I kinda wish I had a fresh transfer after EC as all this waiting is a nightmare... still no period. my cycles were 23 days long before I started IVF and now I'm on day 29. It's so frustrating, I had the worst PMS symptoms for days now but nothing! and I'm supposed to go to Bordeaux for the weekend but might need to cancel if I have to go for my baseline scan over the weekend.


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## AnemoneBee

Oh Aggieblue, you have my sympathy! That sounds horrible, bloody periods and having to be available for scans etc. I hope you can go to bordeaux, have a relaxing weekend, period shows up as soon as you're back and they can scan you! Good luck. What will they scan you for? I should know but with all the scans I've had I can't remember what is when!

The clinic were confident that I didn't need to call before going in on day 5 (sat) so I will just see what I've got when I arrive. So very weird. I have to say, I'm really struggling with the progesterone I'm on, it makes me feel really depressed; pmt on steroids!

Hope you have a great weekend Aggieblue, and Bopster I hope you are doing OK. Anyone else reading, please say hi! X


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## Aggieblue

thanks for the nice words AnemoneBee, as expected, I got my period last night which means my scan is tomorrow morning. Today would be too early and monday would be too late. So no Bordeaux for me! I cried for half an hour this morning but at least a/ i don't have to fly which i hate anyway and b/ i don't have to watch everyone else drinking great wines while i can't! ha!

the scan is just a baseline scan to check my lining. 

that is so promising AnemoneBee, so excited for your transfer, the first in this small little group   have you been reading the May TWW thread? literally everyone got a BFP so it's a lucky month!


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## bopster

Oh wow fingers crossed for you both! Really loving reading your progress   Loving this little group too. Maybe we should've started our own thread!

I am off to the DCN Preparation Workshop tomorrow but for now I won't be joining you on this particular part of journey for another month or so. 

x


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue, that's just typical about the weekend eh?! Hope the scan goes well and you get cracking. Let us know!

Bopster, I hope the DCN conference goes well - I bet you meet some good people there.😊 please share any petals of wisdom.

I've got the egg transfer today - it all feels very surreal. I recognise how lucky I am to get to this stage and I am also freaking out a little! Sadly I'm going alone, no one was free to come along today. The downside of being single. I was talking to a (married) friend yesterday about feeling a bit lonely with it all and she said that she understood but also couldnt imagine her husband being particularly helpful in this situation, so its another reminder to me not to conjure up an imaginary partner as they wouldn't be all singing all dancing perfect.

Anyway, I'm going to slam on some good tunes in the car and enjoy it. Ha.... will let you know how it goes xx


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## Aggieblue

ooh we've been moved into our own chat, love it!  

AnemoneBee - how did it go tell us all, so curious! what was your pre-transfer tune? spill it all!

AFM - my scan this morning didn't go great (how can everything go wrong all the time??). as it turned out, i still had a few cysts left from my IVF cycle. I googled what it might mean inbetween scan and consultation and it didn't look great and started preparing myself for the cycle to be cancelled. I saw the nurse running up and down to see the doctor so I was nervous. but thankfully it wasn't that bad. i will need another scan on friday to check on the bigger cysts, but they arent too too big so shouldn't be a problem and apparently the hormones I'm taking now should reduce them in size. so i started Progynova today! it's a countdown now until my transfer! whoop! (assuming all is ok on the scan on friday)


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## AnemoneBee

Oooooh, it took me a few minutes to find the chat but this is much better! Anyone other single people out there wanting to join in, please say hi!

Aggieblue, what a tense time that must have been. If I've read it right, it's all OK in the end and you're still proceeding so long as Friday's scan is OK? At what time in the cycle will they do the transfer? Hope you don't mind the questions - I'm also interested for me incase I get any embryos frozen. 

I'm also on progynova and so far I think it's fine - hard to tell because of the progesterone pessaries. I'm very pleased that my belly has reduced in size - I was a bit shocked by the size of it whilst I was injecting but it turns out it was just the drugs and not the biscuits (is it only me or did anyone else think they'd lose a few pounds from giving up drinking?!).

Anyway, transfer was a good as it could be I think. I had a very good grade embryo and even saw it on the screen first! Weird and cool. Embarrassingly I fancied the embryologist which wasn't helpful in my undignified position! They're calling today to let me know if any of the others developed into good enough embryos for the freezer but I fear not. 

As for tunes, I was banging out Leftfield on the way there! That album never gets boring.

Hope you're doing OK xx


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## Aggieblue

Ah Leftfield, excellent choice!

Don't get me started on the weight gain... it's probably the most irritating side effect of them all of this whole thing. I upped my calorie intake as I definitely needed more protein - i'm vegan and choose not to eat soy/tofu, so all my extra protein comes from nuts and protein shakes, very calorific! plus not able to exercise as normal due to the treatment (i used to exercise daily) and I can definitely see and feel the difference. oh well. i just think of my body right now as my 'childbearing' body so it's all for a good reason. 

Transfer sounds easy-peasy... probably not the best time to try and flirt with anyone   so cool the embryo transferred was very good! so exciting! what's your plan for the TWW?

So for my FET, in theory once I start Progynova, i would have to go for a scan in 10 days (sooner in my case just to check on the cysts) and if lining is thick enough, 5 days of progesterone and then transfer. so it's 15 days minimum but could be longer if lining is not ready. on previous scans my lining was always over 10mm so I'm not worried about it. although i probably should as it seems my reproductive system likes to challenge me. Like, now I had over 8 mini follicles growing. Of cours at my last cycle, when I needed them, there was only 4! 

Anyway, hopefully, cysts will look fine and i can continue as it is. nurse was optimistic.

Let us know about the rest of the embryos, fingers crossed for frosties!


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## mollymartha

hello ladies, please may I join you again, I was her for my 3 natural cycle iui's earlier this year, single lady age 36, using donor sperm, sadly all my iuis as expected resulted in bfns all within 8 weeks which was pretty intense and heartbreaking I know I only had a tiny tiny chance of it working but for some reason my clinic triggers just 24 hours before iui I did ALOT of research into and a lot of upset wondering why most clinics seem to prefer a 36 hour  iui after trigger and get most of their successes with this, so I do have a bit of regret/ upset about the whole timings of my iui and was I robbed of that tiny 1% chance ....I will never know.....and to cut a long story short my final iui which was my best chance they were fully booked the day I was meant to go so sent me up a day early I knew it  they knew it they offered  me a day early or a day late I was honestly gutted!! so so heartbroken they were fully booked I paid all that money and they cant even fit you in on the correct day it was awful and it really upset me but its in the past now that's made me especially nervous about if they are too busy to see you on the right day for ivf...I spent over £7000 on the iuis I feel maybe I would have been better off going straight into ivf who knows ?! 
ive had a few admin issues with my clinic too but nothing i cant ride through! anyway after a lot of time spent thinking about it all I decided to go for ivf even though I always assumed id just try a few iuis and that would be it I never dreamed of going down the ivf route but here I am.....im with access thankfully my wonderful parents lent me the money from some family inheritance to go for this or I never would  have been able to so im hugely grateful I have this one chance, just wish id done this 5 or 6 years ago when I first wanted to try iui but there you go! better late than never! like all of us, ive just always really wanted to be a mummy never wanted anything else in life except a large family fast forward 30 years and here I am single and childless!! going it alone really doesn't worry me I live with family and they are hugely supportive both practically emotionally and financially so im very very lucky I personally wouldn't feel strong enough to attempt this totally alone so amazing respect to those of you who are! you are very very brave I have only a few very close trusted friends at work who know about this and all are givin me full support im sorry ive been away from the forum so long haven't felt able to post just yet until I knew which direction I was heading in it has taken ALOT of tears uncertainty lots of long chats a few hurdles to get through so far and felt the time was right for me to re join you all lovely to see some familiar faces- lovely to see you all again!  and a very friendly lovely to see you all  hello to all the new ladies if im totally honest I did find it really hard to be a bfn amongst so many bfps not that I wasn't totally happy and delighted for them all I honestly wasn't bitter or jealous in any way at all, it just made me more upset -I have been browsing still and trying to keep up with how everyone is doing 

so I started my first attempt at ivf last week.....im absolutely terrified if im honest!! I had a day 3 baseline scan last Tuesday , 11 follicles on each ovary, does anyone know how they measure antral follicle count please? ive never had an AFC before and only ever had mid cycle scans days 8- 13 for my iuis is it AFC per ovary or both combined ie is mine 11 or 22?my lining was at 4.3mm but I  had a ridiculously light AF this month, just 3-4 days of very light for me scanty bleeding my last 2 AFs before that after the trigger were fairly heavy 
my AFs tend to  be fairky heavy but manageable I wonder did these 2 heavier AFs meant a lighter AF this month I was also very stressed this month about deciding what route to take next so maybe that affected my AF ? does anyone know please? 
I had a scan Friday CD 6- day 4 of stims the left ovary had 8 follicles on it which  she implied was a bit sleepy and said the right had responded better but didn't say how many that side  I had 2 as the nurse said " very naughty" lead follciles at about 15mm, the rest were 5-10mm I didn't get how many/all the measurements but she showed me on a graph  my lining was already at 8.6 mm on day 6 Im so worried that's far too thick but she said no don't worry its triple lining and fine?? 
my base clinic only has 1 regular Dr and 2 nurses as its very small they have got to know me very well since I first went there in December helped me overcome a fear of internal scans and vaginismus  so itrust them all  so much andthey are really really kind and sympathetic to me and understand me , as it happens my usual Dr is away  for 2 weeks so the nurse is holding fort there was  another male Dr there I don't know him  I didn't meet him but he said to lower the gonal to 150 a day, introduce menopur at 150 a day and I started fyremadel on Saturday morning to try and control the two 15 mm naughty ones!  anyone know what the menopur would do ive read various things online but im still confused! 
back tomorrow for another scan im honestly so scared im worrying the lining is too  thick, and worrying about these two  15mm follicles 
will they mean the cycle  is cancelled I really cant afford to waste any money on drugs or the donor sperm if this cycle is no good after all the 
heartache  over dodgy timings  for the iuis im especially anxious! im worrying im doing the injections wrong and what if I ovulate from these  2 bigger ones and the fyremadel hasn't worked! can they sacrifice  the 2 bigger ones to try and focus on the rest of the group or is it better to cancel this attempt?? im just worrying about it all so much !! 
im also worrying am I stimming too fast too soon on a low dose and what if they  trigger me too early and I get no eggs/ immature  eggs at access if I get 2 EC with less than 6 eggs they can remove  you from their programme literally so worried it is all going wrong already id rather cancel the cycle if it is looking wrong  with the thickness and the big follicles im dreading tomorrow ive waited so long for this chance so much hope resting  on it and I really want  to be able to  enjoy these special days of stimming and  actually finally doing this journey it doesn't seem real! I don't want to mess it up again with wrong timings 
on a plus note I feel  really well on the drugs! I was totally prepared for dreadful side effects but  I feel really  well, im not tired or bloated really! get bloated anyway from ibs but I feel fine just had a sore throat the last 4 days which is very unlike me and feel slightly virally today ive felt fine so ar though very very pleasantly surprised but makes me wonder are the drugs not working then! just to add im vegetarian very strict almost vegan bar dairy no egg/milk/cheese , I have never smoked, have never drunk alcohol or caffeine all i drink is water 2-3 litres a day, eat 10 portions of fruit and veg each day I have upped my protein to include those protein yogurts ad protein shakes- just the regular ones not diet/ fitness ones I take spatone natural iron supplement vitamin D, folic acid, zinc and vitamin C, co enzyme Q 10 and high strength vitamin B complex ben having acupuncture since December with a fertility expert ive dome the whole brazil nut and pineapple thing on my final iui even though I hate both im up for trying anything!!!! I use hot water bottles when appropriate wear 2 pairs of socks too! my amh was 13.1  in December which they said is a little lower than average for my age I have regular cycles- were 29-31 days  before acupuncture during my iuis they were 27-28 think the trigger made them a little early my last two AFs were at 30 days I have 3 physical jiobs so am up and about a lot during the day 

any advice/hints/tips on any of the above would be very very welcome please!!!! I do goggle things at every stage but I get mixed answers and don't know what to believe! its great to hear from ladies with more experience and far more knowledge than me I literally read up as much as I can and learn something new everyday! theres just so much to know and I want to try and understand as much if it as I can, its always so helpful to hear from those who have already been through it all before its also new and scary! I so so want to enjoy this exciting magical time and appreciate it but im just far too worried all I an imagine is everything  that can go wrong at every point I don't even dare dream to think will get ad far as an EC or any further! 

how is everyone doing looking forward to catching up with you all I honestly couldnt have got this far without the forums, I would have quit long ago its so humbling and helpful to have the sympathy and empathy of other ladies going through it I think unless you have  been through h this its very hard to truly  understand the highs and lows of it all and emotions you go through I honestly wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and wish I coud wave a magic wand and none of us have these struggles to have a baby how anyone "just gets pregnant" is beyond me!! to me its seems impossible and I know it will take a true miracle to work I daren't dare to even dream it can ever work feeling very down and low about it all atm tbh....im just dreading  the end of it all no baby and how on earth even try to move on and create a ne different pathway in life 

I hope you are all doing ok, hope you treatment is going really well, no bad side effects an you are coping ok, hope all goes well and anyone already in the 2 week wait best of luck fingers crossed there are loads of bfps soon and we  can share happy news together it isn't a bfn until a test says so so please try and stay calm,, hopeful and positive I know easier said than done and I should follow my own advice!!! take care everyone thanks for listening sorry about the essay!! x


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue, thanks for explaining the FET, here's hoping for a good lining and no cysts! Fingers crossed. 

Martha, sounds like you've got an awful lot on your plate! It must be especially hard if you've lost trust in your clinic (did you choose a new one for your IVF?). I would try to talk to them about your concerns and build trust - they will know what they are doing and it's in their interest for you to get pregnant (good for business!). On the topic of wanting to enjoy the process: I admire you for that and also think it's OK not to enjoy it; it is what it is and we're amazing for giving it a go.

Hahaha, my plan for 2WW?! Well, a good mix of work and seeing people. I'll miss my exercise although plan to do lots of walking and yoga.... Aggieblue, I love the idea of accepting the childbearing body! I'm going to embrace that. Oooh, I've got an embryo in the freezer so that feels like a success xx


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## Aggieblue

hi mollymartha, welcome to the thread! i was recommended IUI by my doctor first even though i was 39 at the time but I decided to go straight to IVF. i know there are success stories but I just didn't want to waste time and money on it. I'll try and answer some of your questions there:
- menopur has the same effect as gonal-f - your doctor is probably trying to find the best combination to keep the follicles growing without growing them too quickly.
- 11 follicles on each ovary is an amazing number, you should be very pleased with that! 
- as for AF, i don't think there's a connection, it's just as it is. sometimes it's heavy and you get the odd light ones. last month i was niagara and this month it's all very comfortable and gone in a few days.
- as we are at the same clinic, i can reassure you that they did an excellent job with my eggs, collected 8 and all 8 were mature. so i don't think it's looking wrong at all, some people only take 8-10 days of stimming.

it sounds like you're doing all the right things except trying to relax, by the sounds of it, you stress way too much. find a way to relax 

AnemoneBee, excellent news on the embryo in the freezer!

hope everyone enjoyed today's weather and topped up on that precious vitamin D!


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## bopster

Hey both!

Wow, I got away for a few days and there’s loads of action, fab!  It also took me a while to find our thread also and got a bit confused lol but it’s great we have our own.

AnemoneBee - congratulations on the transfer and good luck for the 2ww  Maybe fancying the embryologist might help get things moving  Fantastic progress though, so very happy for you, looking forward to hearing how you get on and oh fab news about the frozen embryo.

Aggieblue - argh weight gain! I love the thought that your body is preparing for childbearing, such a great way to think about it.  Out of curiosity, what’s everyone’s thoughts on exercise during this whole thing? I have been trying to get fitter prior to all this to prepare for any gain lol How are you finding having to visit the clinic frequently, is your clinic nearby?

mollymartha - So sorry to hear about everything you have been through. Sounds like you’re a strong cookie though and can get through this. I can’t answer any of the medical questions as I am still so early on with everything that it confuses me but looks like the other ladies are helping you on that side. Welcome to this thread though and looking forward to also hearing how you get on.

I am not on drugs yet, I’ll have to wait for the end of June to start due to the Rhubella immunity issue unfortunately. So I am way behind everyone. 

The DCN preparation workshop was well worth it.  I was really nervous and apprehensive at first but needn’t be. There were 15 of us, single ladies having decided or looking to decide to go with donor conception. It was a two day workshop, with sharing of stories and situations, they had an embryologist from the LWC to talk about the medical side and then on the second day they had a lady to talk about social and emotional issues. The best bit was meeting so many women who are going through the same thing and discussing our fears and thoughts in an open and confidential forum. This often feels so isolated so to have their friendship as well as these forums are a godsend. If you’re not members I would recommend it (Google DCN - Donor Conception Network). They are a small charity that does a lot of work with donor conceived children and those thinking of using donor eggs or sperm. 

Anyway, I should be working! 

x


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## mollymartha

*AnemoneBee* thank you so much for the warm welcome, I haven't really lost trust in my clinic its just after the iui timings it left me worried and did I miss that tiny chance each time...we will never know! I know I have to try and move on no im stillat the same clinic for the ivf im very limited as the only base clinic anywhere near me is that one, I don't drive so the one I use is perfect as a 15 minute walk from work and only 20 minutes by bus from home so its perfect for me, I have to go to London for iuis/EC/ET which is about 70 miles away I know theres a lot of choice in London but I wouldn't be able to go there for scans, blood tests etc so im kind of limited in that sense location wise getting to appointments around work if I had to go to London for every single one, plus ive heard several mixed reviews about al the londn clinics so its the same everywhere ou get the good points and bad for every place and what suits one person wont suit another thers one satellite clinic fairly near me in my area but again I know nothing about them and you still have to go to London for procedures I do love my clinic in that the staff are fab have worked through so much with me at the start with fear of internals, and vaginismus so do trust them wih everytjign they have done so far they are all very kind, caring, sympathetic and friendly always put me at ease and welcome me, plus I cant afford to start again anywhere else from scratch with payin for another mot and blood tests and timewise I wouldn't want to start again either there are several plus points to my clinic but just the few timing issues that have put a tricky twist to my journey so far, I know I have to trust them they are the experts and ben doing it all these years yes io do really want to enjoy these days have waited so, so long just to get to this point I don't want to look back and wish id jut calmed down and embraced it as you say its ok to find it tough too a mixture of both I guess!! thanks for your kind words x

*Aggieblue* thank you so much aggie for the warm welcome and kind words thanks so much for taking the time to kindly answer my may questions! its all so new to me! I goggle what I can and learn as much as I can online so much to know and try to understand! yes I was offered stimulate iuis too or ivf but I thought give natural iui a gio first perhaps in hindsight I should have saved that £7000 - cost extra as I had to have sedations each time plus seferakl tracking scans! bumped it up by £1800! but I cant turn back the clock now so just got to move on,

thank you for explaining why they added in the menopur, makes sense! the nurse today said it was definitely the right move as I wouldnt have had much follicle growth without it, that's hugely reassuring they timed all your cycle so well to get 8 eggs! wow very impressed! and all 8 mature! that's fantastic! how long did you stim for? id be delighted with 8 but its looking very unlikey now , I had my scan today CD 9, day 7 of stims after tonight s dose, the 2 big follicles are still out front at 20mm I think each, I have a group of 10 ranging from I think 10- 15 ish if I remember correctly plus a few under 6mm they said forget about the big two and tiny ones and are focussing on the main group hoping we will see some growth, lining now 12mm!! I had an E2 and LH blood test done today, nurse will call me tomorrow and another scan Wednesday, I have to stick with same meds today, 150 gonal, 150 menopur and fyremadel in the morning and depending on the blood tests see if any need adjusting and go from there really really worrying about it all yes I know ive just got to relax, go with it and what will be will be im just feeling more and more nervous each day and very despondent atm just trying to be realistic as I don't want false hope and to kid myself it will all be great when it really isn't! its just my anxiety is so bad I feel so well physically which is great! x


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## AnemoneBee

Hey Bopster! DCN conference sounds amazing! Sounds like it was well worth it. Thanks for sharing.

June it is for you..... not long now but it feels forever! I'm on day 2 of my 2WW 😂 so I know how that feels. Cheering you on. Ps hahaha about how fancying the embryologist might have helped!🙈

On the issue of weight gain and exercise, I jogged and went to the gym all the way up until transfer and now I'm trying to do more low impact stuff like walking and yoga. My clinic just said no strenuous exercise after transfer but here's hoping a haven't shot the embryo out whilst hiking up a hill yesterday! (I'm joking, I did Google 'can the embryo fall out' and Google says no!).

X


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## mollymartha

bopster thanks so much for the warm welcome bopster! very kind! look forward to chatting, im not feeling at all strong emotionally atm, feel like theres no hope and can I really cope with the upset of it all and yet more heartache....on a plus side im feeling great on stims my body clearly likes drugs!! lol even my acupuncture lady said my pulses were great considering  its 3 daily injections
yes theres just sooo much to try and get your head around and learnt isn't there! a lot of it still confuses me ad I try and read up as much as I can and learn something new everyday x


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## Aggieblue

bopster, that class sounds so good! I wish i've done that. I want to become a member but I feel maybe if I get pregnant. until then i think it's just wishful thinking. maybe it'd be still worth it.

about exercise - I'm the opposite to AnemoneBee, maybe because I was on high dose of drugs but I felt so uncomfortable and sore that I couldn't exercise pretty much from the beginning of the stimulation. I couldn't even cycle to work as the idea of the bike throwing me around (roads aren't smooth sadly!) made me suffer even more   it's also not recommended as your ovaries are enlarged and might get twisted. sounds very painful and i didn't want to risk it. i cycle and exercise now but definitely not as vigorously as before this all began. 

mollymartha, it really sounds like you're in good hands so try not to worry about everything. i was stimulated for 15 long days. it was a nightmare, but all good in the end.


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## mollymartha

thank you so mch for your kind reassurances aggie, I wen today to pick up more menopur, blood tests came back for E2 and LH as normal the cover Dr whilst my usual Dr is away has said trigger tomorrow night for EC Friday morning eek he said I don't need another scan tomorrow but he nurse said shes happy to still scan me again, and over rule him, I said  yes please id like the scan and I hope I don't get her sacked! she laughed and said she does as she wants and she knows me well enough to know I would want it as im such a worrier , so scan tomorrow and if that's ok triggering tomorrow night with ovitrelle mega mega nervous not of the procedures but the whole outcome I wan to be excited and enjoy this time but im still too nervous to! im now on day 8 of stims and if it goes ahead EC will be CD 13, im with access and my main worry is if I don't get enough eggs I wil be removed from their programme! ive felt so amazingly well during stims its flown by! im going to miss this busy and exciting bit it wil be very weird not going for scans and doing injections! 
had a few twinges I the ovary region but no pain and im not sore/ uncomfortable at all, had a sore throat for 4 days and now sniffly not a proper cold which is unlike me, so wondering if any of you had similar? ive ben nervous but calm all week until last night and this morning at work got very very teary, emotional t hold it in!luckily the few close friends who are also colleagues too are so so kind and lovely 

how is everyone getting on, hope all is going really well wherever you are in your cycles and journeys! x


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## AnemoneBee

Hey Molly Martha, that's great that EC has rolled round for you - big best of luck


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## mollymartha

thank you! my last scan today- went ok thanks lining is now 13.6mm, nurse said that's fine? mine is always a little think but there you go! as she said we have to work with what weve got! she said im definitely ready to go for EC Friday, so im triggering tonight with ovitrelle at 10.30 EC Friday at 10.30 in London eek!!!! super nervous but excited now! my first one its been such a battle just to get this far, I have the big as she said "whopper" follicles over 25mm they are probably over done by now so count them out, a few tiny ones under 6mm still, i think on the sleepy left ovary and a group of about 10 follicles over 14mm, there are 15 in total over 14mm but a few over 20mm so she said they may be no good we will see im just so nervous and worrying I will ovulate before Friday especially from the big ones I took fyremadel at 6.35am this morning I hope that's enough to contain them! so last injection tonight im kind of sad its the end of that stage, I felt so well during stims think my body liked the drugs!! going cold turkey tomorrow!! im going to miss that little routine , stimming went by so fast!! and I know after Friday its going to be a long lonely hard road, no scans no clinic visits im just trying to enjoy this exciting nervous time before EC all i  can do is try and stay calm before Friday x


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## Aggieblue

mollymartha - that all sounds very positive and a good number of follies too!

AnemoneBee - how are you feeling? any symptoms yet?


i am not feeling great, this Progynova is really messing with my mood and body. I'm so ballooned up I can't fit into my jeans. grrrrrrrrrrrr.


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## AnemoneBee

Hi Aggieblue, ah that's no fun, I hate the ballooning and moodiness. That's good you know it's just the drugs. Good luck with the scan tomorrow.

Molly Martha, all sounds good for your EC tomorrow. Hope your trigger went well.

No symptoms for me Aggieblue, just some similar to pre-period twinges and my boobs are just massive - all this is the progesterone though so I'm not reading too much into it. I've got another 8 days to wait for testing and time does seem to be going backwards 😂.


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## mollymartha

thank you all so much for your very kind wishes im very very nervous trying to be excited but im just dreading the worry of I have already ovulated I took fyremadel at 6.35 am yesterday, trigger at 10.30 last night im so so worried this wont be enough to hold onto the big ones over 25mm til EC tomorrow does anyone now if its likely they have already gone??, im just so scared that will happen not much has gone right for me so far timewise if its going to happen to anyone it will be luck or rather lack of its me lol if I do get the EC im worried there will be no eggs/ immature eggs ......im sad too the stims stage is over I actually really enjoyed that part! I loved the activity of it all and how busy it keeps you lots of contact with your clinic I enjoyed getting into the routine of injections and was sad to do my last and I know I wont see my clinic staff for some time now I know after EC its going to be a log lonely time and hard to stay upbeat and positive ....im dreadin it and know I will find It sad, hard and emotional .....

does anyone know how long you need to wait inbetween ivf cycle please is it 3 months 

sorry to hear you are feeling uncomfortable aggie will you have to stay on those meds through the whole cycle hope you can ditch the jeans for now and wear loose comfy trousers hope your scan goes ok, wow 15 days of stims for you that's a long old trek! I only had 8 days mine went so fast I barely knew I had started and its over now! sorry to hear it was tough for you, what meds did you have did they make you feel ill too? 

keeping everything crossed its good news for you anemone very very early days yet its not a bfn until a test says so hang on in there and enjoy these magical special pupo days while you can, theres still a lot of hope yet try and go with the excitement of it all theres no reason why this cant be your lucky time and its your turn next x


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## AnemoneBee

Hi girls, big best of luck today MollyMartha and Aggieblue.


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## Aggieblue

mollymartha, hope all goes well todat! i realise we were in the same clinic maybe at the same time  LWC likes one cycle between IVF cycles and transfers. If you get a negative it's time to plan some fun to make sure time passes quick, but hopefully it won't be needed! are you going for a fresh transfer? my stim medication was Menopur, the max dose during the second week. I'm not a great responder. It made me feel superbloated and sore and huge! This medication now will be until a negative test result or 12 weeks of pregnancy. feeling much better today though, although still can't fit into my jeans. given up on them.  

AnemoneBee, another 8 days, arghhh! well twinger and massive boobs sound good, but you're right, it could be anything, i do get sore boos even before my period. fingers crossed for you!

AFM - i had my scan this morning, with the nurse i like least. she never seems to find anything and she had trouble locating my left ovaries. (?!) i know there's bowel gas in the way but come on! anyway, all looks good, and transfer set for next friday, the 24th! i am beyond excited!


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## mollymartha

thanks so much everyone for your very kind wishes, support and advice ladies! much appreciated got home from London at 3 from EC it all went so so fast! I feel so well!! no pain, no soreness a little bleeding after and slightly bloated but I get that anyway from ibs! not in pain at all I was wide awake from the sedation so fast, it all went in such a blur I wish I could rewind it all and do it all over again, the staff there were so lovely lots of familiar faces from the previous iuis, so was lovely to see them again, they collected 12 eggs no idea yet if they are immature or overcooked they didn't say the quality just they got 12, im worried as some of my follicles were at 20 or more on Wednesday and 2 were over 25mm im very very prepared for all 12 to be overdone and no good the lab will call me tomorrow morning I honestly doubt any will fertilise tbh when I came out of theatre I didn't see any staff for an hour so assumed they had got none and none of them wanted to have to tell me ! the nurse came in and said 12 I thought he was joking or got the wrong person I had decided I had none at all or had already ovulated I just laughed when he came in and said that I thought maybe im hallucinating on the drugs! I wanted to hug him! I know they are all most likely over done and no good but its a start and a small step on the ladder of ivf 
today has been such a lovely day in that I actually never believed I would make it as far as an EC I didn't think I ever would so today im calm, feeling so well I almost don't believe they did anything as I have no pain! I have to work tonight but luckily feel fine I think my body loves that sedative drug I think I must get a buzz from it!  
I know theres no good having 12 if they are all no good and its quality not quantity so I know it will be bad news tomorrow but tomorrow is tomorrow today im just concentrating on the fact I got through an EC I know I can try it again now I have done one tomorrow I willdeal with the stress/upset/heartache/despair of no fertilising but today im just taking it as a good day in this journey, will deal with tomorrow then there aren't many good happy days on this journey so im embracing todays specialness and poignancy im just celebrating the good day today and will have to deal with tomorrow then trying not to think about it just yet as I know Im going to be very upset and emotional then and it will be a long hard tough road the next stages ahead of me..... 

yes aggie how funny we may well be there at the same time! will reply to your pm at the weekend as ive only been on here for a quick update this week ah yeh I thought they did the one period inbetween EC and FET, im with access and hey want you to puyt something back fresh if you have anything to out back the dr said she can over rule that at no extra charge to me if I was feeling ill she can say freeze all and let you recover, im wondering as im assuming I will  have no fertilisation here when I can start a new fresh cycle 
the nurse today said if anything fertilises  its a fresh transfer either Monday or Wednesday but tbh im 99% certain there wont be! if I had something to put back I totally would but tbh realistically that wont be happening for me I have to stay realistic here dont want false hope and further to fall afterwards 

I had menopur from day 3 of stims but only 150 a day plus gonal from the start but only 175 then down to 150 after 3 days so I know I was extremely lucky to sail through it and be free from any side effects the nurse said it was a great choice the cover Dr introduced menour as I wouldnt have had any growth without it im sorry you had a bad time on the menopur but I guess that's common with the higher doses I hope the bloating improves and you aren't as uncomfy yes its the time to be wearing elastic waist bands! atleast its worth being on those meds to get the wonderful end result hey!  Ive only had a little bloating the last 3 days I tend to get more bloated by ibs tbh lol so im not anywhere near as bloated as I imagined if be im just a little bloated in the lower pelvis but not uncomfortable at all and I don't even notice it sorry to hear todays scan was with the least favourite nurse im so so lucky my base clinic only has 2 nurses and  one regular Dr and only one of the nurses does scans her and the dr are both so so gentle and kind really know their stuff its funny they always have trouble finding my right ovary hey said most of my bowel is on my right typical of me to be different! they always have to search for it but find it eventually! glad all looking good for you now ready to go yay roll on next Friday try and keep busy until then,really enjoy these exciting days ahead im really excited for you, every step is such a huge huge achievement and milestone for us ladies its always such a big event for us enjoy your special day next Friday and lets hope it all goes well and its happy news very soon for you x


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## mollymartha

hello ladies how is everyone doing today, hope you can enjoy the sunshine and have a nice calm relaxing weekend 

the lab rung this morning, overnight 10 of the 12 fertilised! im speechless im sure they have got the wrong person somehow, im really not expecting  anything more now ive been mega lucky to get that far I just know in my heart this bubble of joy is gig to burst and I will come crashing down to reality with a very loud thu, this journey is one of extreme highs and extreme lows, I have had 2 brilliant days I know my luck will end and the next few days will bring bad news I have nothing to transfer, im provisionally booked in Wednesday for an ET at 10.30 have to get there extra early as I would need  a sedation again even for an ET so they have to start a drip to fill your bladder enough for an ET as of course you cant eat or drink from the night before due  to the sedation, I dread every time my phone rings incase its the lab again telling me bad news it really torments your mind doesn't it! yes if theres anything to put back I think its a 5 day transfer I guess the lab ring to update you if anything changes? I had to work last night as couldnt get the night off so managed ok- I have 3 physical jobs  then when I came home it hit me and I felt really tired and whoozy just kind of crashed out  bit tired this morning and its slowed me down a bit im having to work both today and tomorrow work has been full on the last 2 weeks but atleast it has kept me busy better than sat worrying!  it all  blows my mind how they can do such things in science I was thinking last night there are  my eggs my donors sperms having a little blind date/ speed dating in a lab in London the donor sperm was obviously very strong and determined to meet my eggs! it honestly fascinates and amazes me the clinic were perfect yesterday I felt like it was a new start after all the upset and worry of dodgy iui timings they timed yesterday perfectly it was all so relaxed the staff were wonderful and it was such a positive day a lot different from my iuis when I just knew the timings were wrong I tried to enjoy it and make the most of every minute there arent many positive days in this journey and that was definitely one of them so special for me 

aggie a question for you please, did the lab ring you daily for updates they've booked me in for a 5 day transfer on wednesday but do you know if they call me to cancel if theres nothing to put back in? 

ps I know now what you all mean b the pessaries!! quite an experience but its got  to be done...lol x


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## Aggieblue

mollymartha - i answered on the other thread!

AnemoneBee - any news? have you tested yet? i already decided that i will after a week.

I'm starting those awful pessaries tomorrow, not looking forward to it!


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## mollymartha

thank you aggie I have replied on both threads anyway! thank you aggie  for your very kind wishes, im just too nervous and scared now to be happy I feel like I had those 10 fertilised eggs given to me on one hand but they are going to be taken away from me and no hope and left with nothing I just dread that next phone call from the lab just feel very worried and negative today I had 2 wonderful days Friday and yesterday by far the best 2 days I have had this whole journey and the joy and high of that I think it was the biggest shock of my life to be told by the nurse " you have 12 eggs" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! I honestly expected none so it was such a lovely beautiful surprise I think my lucks going to run out now ive got very lucky so far its going to be harsh reality for me now next week I cant bare the next phone call im also worrying my lining is too thick if there is anything to put back, it was 13.6mm last Wednesday already! im just really worried its too thick my last AF was so so short and light very unlike me and now im worrying im also worrying the cyclogest will just make it even thicker?! is that what it does or does it just maintain the lining the instructions on my cyclogest packet are in dutch lolI wish I could relax and enjoy the ride but im just far too nervous too im just being realistic I don't want any false hope and the be so upset so im just always prepared for the worst physically I can cope with anything its the emotional stress is so awful! thank you for explaining about the lab calls im just dreading it im booked provisionally for Wednesday at ET if there is anything left then to put back im just worried if I get up there to London already and they only tell you then once you are there at the clinic there is nothing I think id just be a total emotional wreck to hear that there all I can think of is all the things that can go wrong at every stage I cant be positive at all  looking back I don't know why I stressed so much about the iuis! they were a breeze compared to the worry of this thanks for the encouragement 

hope the pessaries arent too bad! what ones have you got I knew I would be on the cyclogest but on my day of EC the nurse said heres some medication for you I thought ok fine then it soon dawned on me exactly where they were going lol I just kind of froze and ive never done anything like that before in my life! I had to laugh I was in the toilet struggling for about 10 minutes as there were not 1 but 3 no one warned me about that bit I thought I cant fit all 3 in lol I was really struggling thought oh no the nurses will be banging on the door soon I thought well im just going to have to get them all in somehow! I just cant face asking the nurses to do it so funny! im used to them now though was just a bit of a surprise on the day to have 3 lol the things we have to do you leave any dignity at the door don't you its worth it though and id do anything they ask you must be so excited now for Friday! 

hope everyone has a calm positive week and all is going well whatever stage you are at x


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue - awesome news re the transfer on Friday! I suppose you already know the quality of the embryos what with it being FET. Big best of luck, I'm excited for you. Hope you're getting on OK with the pessaries, I advise panty liners! Re testing, I'm waiting for my official test date even though it seems like forever - my trigger was a massive dose of hcg so I'm just going to follow orders so I don't get a misreading.

MollyMartha, sounds like everything is going really well and to plan. Your clinic will do the best for you.

Since this thread is for single ladies, I thought I would pose another single lady question: who are you going to tell first when you do your test? Are you doing it alone?


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## mollymartha

thank you anemone im just so so nervous and just feel constant worry and dread I know those 10 eggs will be snatched from me its so tough emotionally on us all physically im so strong its just the upset and stress is so awful for us all x


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## Aggieblue

AnemoneBee, i'm definitely testing alone. I think whatever the answer is, I need some alone time first. All my friends and family know what I'm doing so I will pretty much have to tell everyone the result, no idea who i start it with yet!

you can't have much left? when are you testing? how are you feeling?

and thanks for the advice on panty liners, I stocked up! it really isn't a nice thing to use haha! did you manage to exercise with it? 

mollymartha, i know, those antibiotics caught me off guard too! why didnt anyone ever mention? Maybe it's just LWC.


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue, I'm completely the same - testing solo (I mean, who is going to come keep me company at the crack of dawn?!). Sadly I have to go to work for a half day on Friday  (my test date) so will have to keep it together whatever the outcome and then have the long weekend with nice plans and loved ones. You know what, I'm feeling periody so I'm not so sure I'll be testing at all but perhaps it's just a tricky of the body.

Ha, those pessaries. Yep I did exercise but I also tried to put my feet up for 20 mins so I didn't leave a trail! Ah the indecency of it all 😂. 

MollyMartha, it is a hard exercise this whole thing, you're right. 

Big best of luck you two with your transfers.

Bopster, if you're reading this I hope you're doing well x


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## mollymartha

yes aggie those 3 pessaries were most definitely a surprise I think my face said it all!! I was horrified when the nurse walked in with a tray and gloves I thought oh no hes going to do it here and now in the cubicle!! very  awkward moment indeed he must have seen  the look of horror on my face! haha maybe those abs are a special lwc treat aren't we lucky! but I think ive read elsewhere all EC you get abs after? I had 3 of them to get in I thought theres just no room!!!!! I was laughing it was funny but awful! 
ive now mastered the cyclogest like a pro it isn't  the nicest thing in the world but we have to do it its made me very bloated and a bit tired but cant complain all part of it are you excited for Friday? 


anemone fingers crossed for Friday for you, its a very daunting thought to test, my 3 iuis I refused to test at home I just couldn't face it too upsetting and I kind of had an aversion to the whole thought of it luckily my iui package included a beta hcg so I had tha the firt 2 times even though af was already messing around I already knew but the clinic said test anyway the third time my otd was my birthday af thankfully held off til 2 days later but I didn't even bother going for the beta that time thinking of you for Friday its very brave to test alone and have to face people after but you know what it may be the biggest smile on your face and a time to celebrate good news it isn't a bfn until a test says so and early pregnancy symptoms are similar to af so you just never know...keep holding out hope you just never know and theres no reason to think it wont be your turn next atleast you have a peaxeful distracting weekend planned whatever our news and time out from work and everyone here to listen and lean on 
yes the pessaries leave you with no dignity whatsoever I left my dignity at the clinic  door many months ago and haven't picked it up since! without being too gory or tmi my clinic said lay down for 20 minutes after but erm how shall I put this politely...im sticking with the rear option lol and have no leakage at all I have vaginismus so cant even use tampons so im sticking with that option its my only option!! lol but ive had no issues no leakage at all and its been really easy now I got the hang of it I have them  3 times a day oh the glamour of ivf hey! 

thank you for your kind wishes I will have to travel up to London whatever as I have to be there extra early booked in at 10.30 need to be there at 9 as they said they would need to start a drip to get a full bladder as would need a sedation and of course cat eat or drink after tonight but if the lab call to day theres nothing to transfer I will already be up in London so will literally have to turn around and come back im dreading it and the upset of it all so stressful this part I loved stimming and miss that bit ive  found waiting for lab calls much harder! its just so hard and worrying for us all x


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## Aggieblue

mollymartha - how did your transfer go? did you get any in the freezer? i hope you recovered by now. 

AnemoneBee - period symptoms are pretty much the same as pregnancy symptoms. it's so unfair! i don't know how you manage to stay away from testing. I will test after a week, i already decided  

I really can't wait for it to be my turn this Friday! I'm at a conference tomorrow and still working in the morning (transfer is at 2pm), not sure how i will get through these!


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## mollymartha

so today was such a nervewracking day I waited the whole train journey thinking m going to get a phone call from the lab to say go home theres nothing to put back in it was torment and I was so so anxious I had my E at 11.20 under sedation but I got a cute picture of the little one! how special! the whole morning went so fast I was a little more sleepy today after sedation as its my second in 5 days the staff there are so so lovely I really enjoyed today I surprisingly got one top grade embryo put back in, 4 top grades to freeze and another 2 they will let me know tomorrow if they can freeze those too but one does look a bit small! I honestly expected nothing at all, so it is the biggest shock of my life to get them at all precious little blastocysts and right from the time they said I got 12 eggs I already feel protective over them! such a miracle and it honestly blows my mind to think what science and the clinic can do I have no hope at all of a bfp my lining was very thick last week im just hapy to have go this far I was soo scared of trying ivf I thought it would be just awful feeling dreadful but physically ive loved it! I already miss stimming so I know its not going to be a bfp for me but im a bit calmer now hopefully theres something to freeze too what a rollercoaster ride this is! im very very bloated from the cyclogest has anyone else had that too? I have ibs so get bloated anyway but this morning I was bent double lol t has eased thankfully as ive not eaten today since last night as the sedation meant I couldn't eat or drink so I think that's why it eased for now! I don't mind and im not complaining i will do anything it takes I had no side effects from stims just the lovely cyclogest im on it 3 times a day my otd is 3rd june my friends 40th but she doesn't know about this its funy my last iui my otd was my birthday I didn't even bother testing though it was too upsetting! just waited for af I expect it will come before otd this time too ive got a fear of testing at home im a wimp and am just not confident to do it and find it too upsetting I had the beta for my iuis as the clinic offered it as part of my package otherwise I just would have waited for af! 

so excited for you aggie! ive had such lovely special days on EC and today its been surreal magical and its just such a memorable special days for us ladies! its your day Friday so enjoy every minute! I wish I could relive mine over and over I couldn't ever really enjoy my iuis due to the dodgy timings this ha all been completely different and so wonderful just to have got this far a million times better than I ever imagined ivf would be I fel like ive dreamt the last five days you must be so excited for Friday! im like a kid at Christmas I can hardly sleep the day before a procedure please let us know how you get on Friday so excited for you!! hope the morning passes by very quickly for you will be thinking of you at 2pm!! ps theres no nasty pessarie surprises for ET you will be pleased to know!!! x


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## mollymartha

hope all goes really well for you tomorrow aggie! thinking of you how exciting!!! let us know how you get on! its all so so amazing every stage isn't it ! bet you wont sleep much tonight! 

lab called me this morning to confirm it is 6 blastocysts frozen! amazing!!

hope everyone else is doing ok stay calm keep smiling stay positive x


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## Aggieblue

Thank you for your nice words mollymartha. I’ve been really calm all day, I was at a conference and then went to the cinema and did some shopping, because I felt I deserved it. Now I’m home and I’m starting to be a bit less calm 🙈 I’m gonna use the ivf meditation app I was talking about. It always puts me to sleep. 😄

Also congratulations for 6 blasts in the freezer! That is amazing!!

AnemoneBee, I read your news, thinking of you and sending a lot of hugs xxx remember you’ve got more in the freezer!


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## AnemoneBee

Hi girls,

I'm tapping out of the 2WW just because it's not so appropriate for me to be there BUT I would like to keep in touch a bit on this thread. 

I'm mindful of being in a slightly different headspace from you Aggieblue and MollyMartha because you are still on 2ww and I found that took a certain focus and I won't bring you down - whilst I'm sad and exhausted from getting a negative result, I'm already picking myself up and dusting myself off and some of my friends have been fantastically supportive. I'm actually looking forward to some carefree summer fun (good lord did I enjoy a pint last night) before coming back to my one FET.

I did my test a day early in the end and if I could go back and give myself advice I would say to tell other people what I was doing - everyone was prepped for me to do the test on Friday and I had booked a half day at work so I could process the news; but because I did it on the Thurs in the end nobody was expecting it and so no one could come and support me in the evening after an extremely busy and punishing day at work. So that's my advice, remember to tell your supporters if you do it on a different day than planned because it was very hard to be alone after that.

xx


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## Aggieblue

AnemoneBee, nice to hear from you. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through, but sure enough I may be in your position soon. have you got anything nice planned for the summer then? and thanks for the advice re: testing. I think I'm gonna do it on Sunday, it'll be 9 days since transfer so should be accurate. Then i have that day to pull myself together, either way. Good idea not to do it before work, didn't even think of that!

I'm spending the weekend by the sea, it's lovely, although did end up walking a lot. It's a bit colder than I thought so can't just sit by the sea all day. I'm still a bit sore too from the procedure. I was sore longer than usual after EC too so I'm not surprised. i wonder what that little embryo is doing in there, if it's still there at all? what happens to them when they don't stick??


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue, I totally wondered that too and did a few Googles about whether the embryo could fall out - apparently it can't! I guess if it doesn't implant it just kind of does nothing until it gets flushed out with the period?! 

Your weekend sounds lovely - and great idea re testing on a Sunday! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you of course.

My weekend is, unbelievably, fun! In an unexpected way, I'm appreciating being a bit more in the moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy with my negative result but this all makes me realise how all consuming the ivf process has been so it's good to get a bit of headspace from it. Of course I think I might just be a bit in denial and will be crying again come Monday but at least I've got the frozen embryo. 

I've come camping with family and forgot my poles and pegs so I'm sleeping in the kids' toys' tent! Standard 😂


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## Aggieblue

oh my god that story! for a second my heart stopped, I have a friend who did exactly that (forgetting her poles) yesterday so for a second I was like - oh my god is that her! but then I realised she was married  

i like your approach - obviously you'd rather be pregnant but if it wasn't to be this time round, you might as well make the most of it. I felt like that after my egg collection when i realised i have to wait 6 weeks until i can get going again. i think i went out like 4 times a week in the first week enjoying that i didn't have to be home for injections every night.

and here's another funny story back at you, after the transfer I forgot to put my cyclogest in that was due as i was so overwhelmed. me and my friend walked to a park and set out a picnic when i realised and i was already half an hour late with it. i never thought i would insert a pessary in public but there i was! thank god I was wearing a long floating skirt.... eeeeek!


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## mollymartha

anemome continued thoughts to you im sure it will  hit you in waves you will feel  upbeat for abit then have a little  cry that's normal and to be expected I think you are being incredibly brave about it , my 1st bfn I was really  tearful and overwhelmed I knew  all along to expect it but when I got it my gosh it was like a tidal wave of grief and hurt it was  just awful to get through iwasnt quite so tearful  by the 3rd and just sort of got onwith it more, I think by the 3rd I was sort of relieved almost as obviously these iuis weren't working for me, I  knew I had to finish he 3rd cycle before I could move on to ivf so it was a release and hurdle to get through before I could move on to the next stage 
it will leave you sad exhausted emotionally drained and deflated for a while yet, you will  have god days and you will have bad days but it sounds like you are in the best possible mindspace to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and  soldier on, we kind of have to learn to make the best of a bad situation if you know what I mean, if only we had it as easy as a lot of ladies who just get pregnant so easily its very unfair and you do think " why me" it think us ivf ladies surprise ourselves what we can deal with when we have to if you had of said to me 5 months ago on my first clinic visit I would attempt ivf I wold have laughed no way!!! here we are dealing with scans injections pessaries all kinds of things being shoved in and out of "those areas" losing our dignity along the way its amazing how once things that terrified you become a part of your daily life and routine and you just learnt to deal with it and be blasé about it all 
that's really great you have very supportive friends to rally round It makes all the difference, I don think any of us could do it alone without any support network whether that's friends, family, colleagues the clinic staff mine is a mixture of all of that! im pleased to hear you have been able to get away from it all for a bit I hope camping is fun! even without your poles! I hope the kids toy tent is cosy and comfy! I totally understand it is almost like a break for you from the intensity and emotionally draining strain of ivf it all comsuming and can take over your life I hope you have a wonderful summer and let loose for fun and just having a breather both physically and emotionally its great you are staying positive about the frozen embryo that how I am I know this one will be a bfn but im thinking so so thankful have the frozen ones as my plan b so that takes the pressure off for a bit! enjoy your summer have a very relaxing fun restful time 

I also worried could the embryo fall out, apparently  no but its still a worry isn't it! I read by the that point in your cycle the endometrium has changed consistency and is "stickier" they liken it to the embryo being a grain of sand in a peanut  butter sandwich and the uterus kind of presses the back and front walls together over it to sort of hold it in I wonder what it does too if it doesnt implant I guess just floats about and comes away with next af as an unused/unfertilised  egg would? 

aggie that's hilarious the pessary story! good job it was a floaty skirt not skinny jeans could have been a lot trickier and far less discreet! in ivf a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do picnic pessaries included ....glad you are having a nice weekend away by the sea enjoy and hope it warms up! im by the sea in kent it was so hot yesterday im not good in the heat makes me feel ill thankful a bit fresher today enjoy a relaxing break sounds like you need it if you are still sore from et sounds like you may take longer to heal if you were sore from ec longer than expected too I was extremely lucky in I literally had no pain soreness or symptoms after ec or et I even thought did they actually do anything lol im thankful of course I heal well and fast that's a  sensible idea to test on the sunday then, so you have a day to process the news either way x


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue, omg that story is gold. Picnic pessary! Thanks for making me smile.

MollyMartha, thanks for your kind words. When is your OTD? 

I hope you're both doing well.

I had a good weekend but had my first hangover for months which I really didn't like! I read in the guardian that single women are some of the happiest people so that's something for us to celebrate whatever our outcomes xx


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## Aggieblue

Your new found freedom sounds great AnemoneBee!  

I'm going crazy here with symptom spotting. I'm only 4dpt5dt so shouldn't really be feeling anything but I have so many twinges and pulls in the abdomen, it's hard to concentrate on anything else. Even if it all may be somehow in my head, being hypersensitive, full of hormones and all. 

mollymartha, how are you getting on?


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## mollymartha

aw aggie sorry to hear you are finding it tough symptom spotting it really plays mind games with you doesn't it! I have never really symptom spotted tbh the counselling nurse said that early on the embryo is so super tiny like a grain of sand you wont feel anything anyway and most ladies conceiving naturally often don't have any symptoms at all until 6-8 weeks atleast often later and if we do feel antthing its mainly the drugs anyway! so for us ivf ladies its so tough so early on being pupo its a mental torment that's good though the twinges are said to be good promising signs so lets hope its little one implanting and getting very comfy for the next 9 months! 

thanks for asking im a bit emotionally wobbly tbh feeling very very negative just waiting for af which I know for sure wont hold off much longer I just know in my heart ive known all along and I know to expect it I should be used to it by now!! bu im dreading the upset and grief for that little embryo I felt so proud and protective over them right from when the lab first calls! I know its going to be so hard and upsetting but I know ive got to get on with it and toughen up I so wish none of us had to go through this heartache and stress and we could all just be mummies I know how much we would all love and worship those babies and motherhood 

how are you doing anemone hoe you are enjoying a bit of time out and fun, whats next on your agenda this summer of fun ? my otd is 3rd june but I know af isn't far off you just know don't you ive felt the same all 3 iuis and was right its horrible just waiting for af and no hope even though I know it will definitely be yet another bfn im still dreading it and know im going to be so tearful and upset I was worst after my first iui bfn even though I totally knew it was coming the harsh reality of the first one is just awful! I think its because its my first ivf and you get to seethe embryo picture it make sit harder/ sadder in my mind somehow like a real grief and loss yes I read that somewhere too that single childless women were the happiest social group! I dread that day if im honest I will have to somehow embrace a future as an eccentric old spinster with hopefully not 99 cats! lol you have to laugh or you would just cry wouldn't you! x


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## Aggieblue

well i never thought I'd be that person who googles every twinge but it turns out I totally am.   i'm the crazy IVF lady


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## AnemoneBee

Aggieblue, it's torture but I think you have to submit to the total temporary madness! I'm just pleased you haven't been arrested for any more pessary moments. 

MollyMartha, it sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a spin. Have you tried going for a mindful walk or something else relaxing?  I found it impossible not to be constantly thinking about 2ww but just seeing something like a nice view might just be enough to distract you temporarily. Your chances really are as good as anyone else's so try and breathe through it until OTD. It's not easy, I totally sympathise. 

So, having been pretty manic this weekend and just enjoying being off the ivf mega train, I'm now coming down a bit and feel a bit distant and mood swingy. Could it be that my own hormones are having to play catch up and work out their own balance now I've stopped meds? Is the excitement of thinking I'll go and party all summer being replaced with more existential questions like 'oh my god, what am I doing with my life?'. Perhaps a combination of the two.

Sorry to be a downer, it will all balance out in the end and of course I've got my frozen one, I'm just in need of sharing xx


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## Aggieblue

That’s what we’re here for, AnemoneBee! 🤗 it’s a tough journey. I woke up thinking now I’m definitely not pregnant. No change in boobs at all. Quite the change from yesterday when I was convinced I was! Anyway, take each day as it is, I’ll try and remain positive 😥


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## mollymartha

sorry you are having a bad day aggie theres still every hope no af and no test says a bfn so you never know that precious little embryo could well be snuggled in tight already and you dont have a clue! I have a very good feeling for you hope you feel much more positive soon just take it a day at a time its all any of us can do 

I had a weird pain in the night it woke me up just before 4am like a horizontal pain in a line across where the top of the uterus would be it made me feel sick I just took deep breaths and I took a while to get back to sleep it was kind of like an af pain but not an af pain if you know what I mean! very odd! I had a few  twinges last week but probably the ibs lol  I know af is coming soon very soon!! im dreading it as know it will be a bad heavy painful one and so so upsetting! im off 2 of my 3 jobs atm for half term  as 2 of them are in schools so im hoping the worst of af is done before Monday when we go back! how are you feeling on the pessaries? I have had some bloating only one very bad day the night before and morning of et I was so swollen I couldn't stand up straight that morning! but generally only been bloated sometimes I get bloated anyway from ibs the cyclogest has also definitely made me a bit more tired and bbs bigger! but no other side effects and nothing major im definitely having af feelings today cd 25 imsure aggie you will have much better luck than me! keep smiling keep positive and hope you feel more hopeful soon theres still every hope! 

thank you so much anemone for your kind words and continued support im not feeling stressed as such just sad and dread of the next few days as I honestly know whats coming its more like grieving for what could have been and you go through all that for another bfn its very hard isn't it, I do like walking but im worried it may bring on af even sooner! lol I have to be careful I cant be out in the sun at all as I have very sensitive skin and 2 lesions removed even though I never sunbathe and avoid the sun so im ultra careful to avoid the sun so its too hot atm for to be out walking I do love it though and I did 2 London moonwalk marathons great fun! I had to miss it this year as it was while I was stimming so no way would I risk that by walking 26 miles lol yes im not too bad in the 2 week wait tbh actually love the first week of it being  pupo I never want that bubble to burst I find the 1st week really fun as you have fight so hard to get that far its yours to enjoy at long last the second week I dread as af and otd gets ever nearer that's the bit I hate I never get impatient though I don't want it to end or the reality of a bfn I know I definitely cant make it to otd the 3rd without af ! 

sorry to hear you to have hit a bit of a downer that's normal to be a bit up and down you had the feeling of release from all the scans drugs pressure etc and freedom to have fun again but now its seems like a downward surge of reality I think its totally to be expected to feel a bit distant and your moods to be a bit up and down its all part of the process of accepting our bfns and finding how we will deal with them we are all likely to have good days and bad days when we feel like absolute rubbish plus as you say once the meds leave your system fully its likely to affect our moods weve been so pumped full of hormones it will probably effect us somehow feel free to share away if you need to we are always  hear to listen I look forward to letting out emotions here as others understand the emotions my few friends who know all think it will work as do my parents so I feel like I have to try and bring them back down to reality in that I know it wont and I do feel under pressure that they think just shove an embryo in ta da you are pregnant they are extremely supportive and I really cant fault them at all but it if only it were  that easy hey! I hope you feel in a better place soon its normal to have bad days though or we couldnt appreciate the good days as much take time and space for yourself and that's still so hopeful for your little frozen one x


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## Aggieblue

mollymartha, glad that you're enjoying being pupo! i'm also feeling much better today, although not more optimistic as i feel absolutely normal (but no AF, thank god). but emotionally better after some pep talks from friends. your OTD is not far away now!

i haven't noticed any side effects of the pessaries. but i did put on 3 kilos in a week once i started the estrogen. i still feel easily bloated. i honestly don't know how i would have done all this right after stimming. you're lucky you responded so well and only stimmed for a short time. 

i'm actually quite nervous as sunday seems to come around quite quickly now. i still intend to test then. will re-test on OTD to confirm too. now that i'm not that hopeful, i'm dreading it!


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## AnemoneBee

Girls, sending you all the love and big best wishes. I think time actually goes backwards as you get nearer testing! 

I'm feeling better today, the mood swings are crazy but people assure me it's not only the hormones but also my emotions and thats ok too. There are some good things to being single - I'm looking for a fun fling before my FET to pass the time! 

Re the weight gain, I'm pleased to say that it's all gone in a week since stopping meds.

I don't have any suggestions of how to distract yourselves, just keep plodding on and it will eventually come round to the right day...


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## mollymartha

thank you for the kind words aggie yes I always love the first week of the  2week wait is such a relief to think wow we made it that far! im never impatient for it to end I want to stay I that bubble of ignorant bliss/denial!  forever! the second wee ki wobble more get very down about another bfn looming and af glad you are having a better day, that's great no af still its still very early days for you, still so much hope as you have a while yet til otd it all still looks very promising for you, I glad you have had some chats with friends they really can rally round and pick you up again at your lowest moments thank goodness for them hey! the number of times ive been in tears at work they have known exactly what to do and say to sort me out and somehow  get me laughing again you always have to laugh during this as most of it is tears! no not long now til otd but I definitely wont make it til then without af im amazed its held off this long tbh! I dont usually get any pain but ive had that sort of heavy full feeling you just know don't you theres no point denying it is there whats ahead! im dreading it though glad you are finding the pessaries ok goodness knows what weight ive put on I haven't weighed myself lol sorry to hear the estrogen has bloated you out good job you had a gap between ec and fet to recover a little yes im extremely lucky I felt so well during stims and after ec it literally was like  I didn't feel any different I know future cycles could be an entirely different experience I don't want to be complacent or arrogant enough to think I would sail though it all so easily again! im quite aware it may be dreadful next time just take it one step at a time for now that's all we can do have you been able to keep busy still doing fun things I hope you feel strong calm and confident sunday we are all routing for the bfp for you!! sensible to retest on otd too, ive read several times of ladies getting bfns earlier on then only  bfp on otd sending you lots of positive vibes!! 

anemone how are you doing , what fun  things have you been up to lately hope you are able to enjoy the lovely sunshine and relax a bit and you are feeling more positive than upset now, yes it definitely got to be normal to feel this way not just the hormones but the emotional side of all this too, most ladies are lucky enough to conceive naturally and easily we have so much stress and anxiety here, scans blood tests no dignity st sll lol ec's , et's  all the injections pessaries testing so early itsa huge huge toll on our bodies and minds I don think until you actually go through ivf yourself can you fully appreciate just how much you go through and how much hurt upset and longing there is for that much longed for child and jut to be a mummy its huge and very very emotional for us all ooh good luck finding your fun fling before your fet! glad you now felt better since stopping the meds too its always good to be drug free and let your system have a breather have  fab weekend in the sunshine everyone 

quick question please, once I start af bleeding can I just stop the cyclogest, if af comes over the weekend and the clinic is shut to check can I just stop them I will email the tomorrow to ask I don't want to be taking them any longer than I need to thanks x


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## AnemoneBee

Hey MollyMartha, I would check with your clinic on that one. My guess is that they'll say to continue with cyclogest until your OTD even if you bleed, just to be on the safe side. I sympathise with you, couldn't wait to finish my meds. Good luck


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## Aggieblue

mollymartha, i asked this question and you need to take all medication until OTD even if you bleed. the hormones sometimes hold off AF, just to make things more complicated! 

AnemoneBee, I'm with you, first thing I'm gonna do after a BFN is abusing dating apps and shedding this padding


----------



## mollymartha

thank you aggie and anemone for kindly answering so I guess  im sticking with the lovely cyclogest for now then!  lol don't get me wrong  I dont mind taking whatever they tell me to I will do it and do as im told but I just don't want to take it if its clearly af and no point  filling your alredy drug binged body with yet more meds if that cycle Is over , how are you both doing, I woke up again last night at 3am with af like cramps I wish this af wold just come and get it over and done with I know it will come lets jut not prolong it any longer! lol yes I had heard the cyclogest can wither make af come earlier or really delay it! are you both up to anything fun this weekend han on in there til sunday aggie it really could be your turn!! x


----------



## Aggieblue

well those cramps could be really good news for you! do you normally have them this strong overnight? does it happen in a normal cycle? i'm feeling absolutely nothing. no cramps, no period pain, no sore boobs, no tiredness. so i'm sure it is not my turn, but it will be at another time. 

i have a few fun things planned this weekend, brunch with friends, a gig, and going to see some ballet tonight. 

i have my fingers crossed for you that those cramps are coming from a little one nestling in!


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## AnemoneBee

Woah Aggieblue, ballet sounds awesome! Have a great weekend and let us know how you get on tomorrow. Hope you're doing OK. 

MollyMartha, it's so cruel isn't it that the Meds can delay period if that's the case. There really is not much you can do about it but wait as awful as that is.

I think I got asked out on a date last night! Whoooooop. I need a summer fling 😇.


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## mollymartha

hello ladies how are you all today

thank you aggie but I know its just af looming, wont be long now! im cd 28 so already pushing my luck!! no I dont normally get af pain that wakes me at night im very lucky I only get mild cramps that are nothing really I maybe get one or 2 bad afs a year where I would take a paracetemol for but nothing major Im very lucky although afs are fairly heavy I dont get bad pain like a lot of poor ladies do, it is still very early days for you yet still a way til otd so you still have plenty of hope yet you never know those pains you had earlier on may have  been  the little one implanting and getting cosy now its all settled and comfy and snug its gone quiet! its probably too early for symptoms too, I have had no symptoms either all i have is bloating and bigger bbs from the cylogest!
don't write yourself off yet still hope ahead, will you still test tomorrow I hope you ar feeling positive and calm about that, excited for you!! we are all keeping everything crossed for a bfp you never know it may well be a very very huge surprise for you yet and you will be sharing great news with us all, if it is a bfn atleast you know by otd it may very well still be a bfp so theres still that hope and all is not over for you, im just dreading it now I know this af is going to extra heavy and painful not just physically but emotionally too im a nervous wreck everytime I go to the toilet!!! I had a few ovary twinges last night at work and over the last few days mild af feelings maybe one or twice a day no pain but that sort of heavy dragging feeling before af you know? I know its just the cyclogest holding it all in!! my last af was so short and light this one is going to be like a double one as my lining is so thick plus factor in all those drugs  too its going to be like a dormant volcano going off!! oh joy!!! 

that's great to hear you atleast have plenty of fun things planned for this weekend enjoy and atleast its so warm and sunny too I hope that helps lift your mood before tomorrow and you test with an upbeat positive frame of mind have fun with your friends and all the bet for tomorrow you are very brave to test t home im literally hoping all I can you get your bfp it all sounded perfect on et day! its not a bfn til af or a test says so so hang on in there .....

thank you anemone I just want af over with now lets just get on with it the cylogest I know it just holding it in im dreading how upsetting the reality of it all will be yes I know I have to just be patient and wait now theres nothing else I can do so hard mentally isn't it! same for all of us though we just have to try and accept it and get on with it don't we, ooh great news on your date you deserve some fun enjoy your summer fling!! x


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## Aggieblue

oooh AnemoneBee, tell us more!   at least someone has some sort of love life  

I'm with you mollymartha on the premenstrual feels, i have the same fear when going to the toilet. I started with my PMS symptoms today. it's CD25 for me so totally time for it. 

went and bought my pregnancy tests today. so i'll be testing first thing in the morning    just getting ready to go to a gig now, will save me from an evening of googling symptoms and no symptoms


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## mollymartha

good luck aggie im so excited for you and keeping everything crossed for you! they told me ivf our age groupsuccess rates  are 40% fresh cycle/ 30% fet  so that in theory is around  1 in 3 well lets hope that should be someone here this cycle  and im so hopeful it will be you tomorrow hey! yes isnt it just awful I dread going to the toilet!! just torture isn't it you never know though pms may just be hcg rising......ooh you are brave getting your tests! how are you feeling I hope calm and confident it isn't a bfn til a test says so and on otd too so theres still loads of hope yet honestly it works for plenty of other ladies so why not you.....enjoy your gig and literally a million good luck vibes for the morning hope hope hope for that bfp!! hope you get some sleep tonight if you can xx


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## Aggieblue

hello ladies, what a night!

of course i couldn't sleep, kept waking up every hour and wanting to pee. once i even dreamt that i had my gender reveal party and i had a boy.  

anyway, at 3.30 I couldn't wait any longer, had to pee, i thought, might as well. peed in a pot to be sure then went back upstairs in my bedroom and waited. longest 3 minutes of my life, my heart pounding, my cat trying to snuggle up to me. I didn't think I would be writing this down here, but it's  two strong lines... a BFP!! 

needless to say, i could not go back to sleep and been twiddling my thumbs waiting for it to be the morning so I can call my sister back home to tell her. she screamed down the phone line  

ok so now before i get excited and happy, a lot of new hurdles to cross, first being the blood test on wednesday, hopefully also showing me pregnant.


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## mollymartha

oh wow aggie! I TOLD you I had a good feeling about you!!! wow so so delighted and happy for you just the best news, you must be so relieved and over the moon see and just goes to prove those earlier cramps probably were little one getting cosy! good luck for the blood test wednesday atleast then you can get your scan boked in how exciting keeping everything crossed for you all goes well for the next 9 months and you have a happy healthy pregnancy how will you celebrate today? im really not surprised you couldn't get back to sleep! how exciting you called your sister too I bet you couldn't wait to share! 


I awoke again at 3am- why is it always 3- 4am lol every other night it seems to follow a pattern now, same pains as before af like cramps going horizontally across sort of the top of the uterus made me feel sick again so just took deep breaths and it went off again after about 20 minutes I just want af over with now and get it done I know its just the cyclogest holding it all in reading the next few days ....so fed up and doen now just waiting for af and another bfn sorry to moan on your special day aggie! 

congratulations again  enjoy your special news im so pleased for you x


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## Aggieblue

thanks for your kind words mollymartha. I ended up meeting friends and going for a nice little walk in the sunshine. bought myself a new plant. 

mollymartha, your turn tomorrow. your symptoms give me hope that we're getting some more good news tomorrow on this thread  

AnemoneBee, i hope you're doing well xx


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## mollymartha

glad you have had a lovely day today in the sunshine walk with friends sounds nice that's sweet you got a new plant too, kind of appropriate when you think you too have got new life growing inside you that plant is quite symbolic I think which plant did you get today? 

yes otd tomorrow eek but I wont be testing I will be the one with the bad news tomorrow I know it!! im surprised af has held off a long as it has tbh although I just really want it all over with now its just delaying the inevitable now and I know however hard it will be ive got to face the reality of another bfn im seriously wondering  if I can take any more of the upset and heartache of more bfns its extremely hard I know a lot of us ladies have to face this sadness but I really don't know if I can keep going through it im dreading trying to hold the tears in in work this week im going to ve a right miserable cow! nothing new there then though! lol I have to be thankful and grateful for the 6 frozen though and try to stay focused on them  

I know the staff  at the clinic are just going to be so thrilled to hear your happy news! its so lovely you can share it with them and so special they start you on this journey and im sure they will be so excited to get great newm just so excited for you too! x


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## AnemoneBee

That's fantastic news Aggieblue, really really fantastic xxx


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## Aggieblue

thanks AnemoneBee. I am retesting in the morning as I'm worried if it was just a chemical pregnancy. OTD can't come quick enough. 

mollymartha, how did today go? did you get a blood test? been thinking of you.


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## mollymartha

great news on the other hread aggie your test line is getting darker yay very reassuring hope all goes well tmorow for the blood test please keep us updated 

anemone how have you been are you fedling ok atm, hope you are enjoying a bit of fun now still 

thank you all for your kind wishes and support erm well apparently its a bfp?!!! erm still in totally shock and disbelief, the beta came back at 687 I think, I was 
in work got the phonecall I was like oh here we go again same as before just got to get on with it..... then the nurse said are you sitting down I completely was so so shocked and in disbelief I had to go down 2 flights of stairs and find 2 colleagues I kept sayig are you sure are you joking, had to go and sit down for an hour I honestly thought I would faint ( not much much work got done today that's for sure luckily my boss and supervisors are aware of the treatments and have been fab and say no worries if I need to chat not sure if they meant sit there for an hour...lol) I had to go to the clinic today to pick up another cyclogest prescription,it was so so special today as both nurses were in plus my dr and the receptionist they weer all so happy ad almost like a little celebration in there they are like a close family and take you in, today was really special to share that with them and to see them all there were a lot of hugs and happy words 
the nurse bless her said she knew first thing and as I have to walk past the clinic daily to and from work she was looking out of their front door to tell me first thing but missed me! I often see the staff on my way to work, im still in total disbelief I think its joke/someone else etc you know how you feel when you wake up from a sedation...I feel like that very confused giddy and totally shocked I am terrified of a chemical/ miscarriage etc I really think the worst all the time, im scared to be happy and im terrified everytime I go to the toilet incase im bleeding they have booked me in for a 7 week scan on 28th , I really cant think that far ahead yet they have said I can go in there anytime for a chat as they know how worried I am already and cant enjoy this , I can repeat the beta next week if I want, if I get that far I will do as id rather know then rather than go for the scan and there be bad news then thank you all so much for your kindness, friendship, support and advice so far we are all I this together I still dot believe its true I dont feel ay different literally the only thing I had was the tiniest tiniest strand of sorry tmi alert but pinky red cm on 7dpo but thought nothing of it, and I did start to test the trigger out last week but gave up after a few days on ic's and 2 of the 3 were the faintest bfps but I just thought oh thats evaporation lines lol im terrified the clinic have got this result wrong and this is going to be taken from me ive not had any symptoms except bloating and bigger bbs from the cyclogest and a bit tired last week and those af feelings im just terrified of that! all I can do now is take it literally one day at a time try and enjoy today never in my whole life did Imagine someone saying those words to me today so everyone who knows is really happy and excited for me but im too nervous to you very early days yet and a million things can go wrong I hope you ladies can take a piece of my happy day today to share around you all, as i said we go through everything together ive been there getting bfns 3 in a row and I know how hard and gutting it is to see someone else get good news when you are rock bottom I really hope this gives everyone hope yet however low you feel you CAN get further than you think, dont give up I lay in the hosptial bed a few weeks ago texting my friend saying I quit I cant do this anymore ive got no eggs im giving up its too hard ever since that nurse came in and said 12 egg its been a chain of the biggest surprises of my life, never ever believe that miracles cant happen a im proof they do, I don't know if this will be taken from me tomorrow next week or when but please keep going ladies whatever stage you are at theres too much joy and happiness the other side of this waiting for you if you give up you may miss out on what is the other side of the tunnel stay as positive as you can x


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## Aggieblue

so happy for you mollymartha, i knew it!! 

if all goes well tomorrow, i'm definitely planning to get a second beta done at some point. too stressful otherwise.


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## mollymartha

thank you aggie im still im shock and total disbelief been feeling af like for the last 10 days or so now terrified im going to start bleeding at any point and its all going to be awful im panicking miscarriage/ chemical/ molar or is it just cysts producing hcg?! never ben so scared in my life I only slept 2 hours last night my heart was racing in fear if I make it to next week without bleeding I will ask for another beta would rather know bad news through that than at a scan when will you get your next beta? are you feeing well? x


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## Aggieblue

i think i may have another beta on friday so i can see if it's doubling. i worried myself sick today about my too high HCG level. i'm trying to stay away from Google for a while. it really seems like either twins or molar pregnancy, it really is quite high.
i still feel very period-y too. lower back pain, cramps, still expect AF to turn up! you'd think you got over the difficult part but now the real worries begin


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## AnemoneBee

MollyMartha, awesome news


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## mollymartha

thank you anemone how are you doing what have you ben up to lately any news on your fun fling lol hope you are really enjoying yourself! 

that's good you can get another beta Friday to put your mind at rest aggie no point worrying over the weekend if you dont have to, if I can get through to next week without bleeding im going to book another beta next week I joked to the nurse id be in there daily getting one she was like err no you cant do that! lol I know only too well the worry  from dr google done it countless times myself! Im honestly sure the clinic would have said something today to you if they had any concerns and said retest asap if they were worried, im sure if it is anything it may be twins..how would you feel about that....surely a molar would be mega mega high ive heard of sone ladies with something like 15000 at 4 weeks! yes I also feel like af is coming at any moment dread going to the toilet! ive felt like af for about the last  10 days atleast  and ive been padding out with sanitary towels since then im so paranoid its still coming! I too have ha some back twinges kind of like a burning on the left side tonight and odd twinges and sensations I was worried its chemical but the  nurse said yesterday that would be beta of 25- 50 ish I ve read ovarian cysts can give off hcg so im panicking that's what mine is!! yeh tell me about it we thought cycling was stressful gosh that was a piece of cake! the worry just goes up a million time worse I dont think I can honestly cope with this worry and  anxiety! when is your scan bookd for? im sure all will be fine! that little one (s) just like to keep you on your toes! are you managing to keep busy have you ben carrying on as "normal" physically so far , i have no appetite at all but been forcing it in the only thing I fancy for the last week is strawberries x


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## Sharry

Okay ladies, this is where we need to split the chat, as pregnancy chat need to be in specific areas within Fertility Friends, but I can make you a special thread in the single ladies pregnancy area. 

Of course you can still chat here but without bump and baby chat.

Hope you understand 

Sharry xx


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## AnemoneBee

Bopster, you'll be starting treatment soon - hope you're doing ok


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## bopster

Hey all!

Apologies I have been offline for a while... I have been away for a couple of weeks on hols and generally taking some time out to relax... since then I got really unwell after the second MMR (not supposed to but it can't be coincidence that after both jabs I came down with something). Anyway, while on hols my donor sperm arrived at the clinic so now it's on ice until I need to use it. I am also due my infection screening in a week so hopefully things will be in motion after that, just need to sort the finances quickly as planning to use Access Fertility who need the money upfront and not via credit card.

Congratulations Aggieblue and mollymartha this is truly a positive thread!  Hope you're doing well also AnemoneBee? Looks like you and I will be continuing the single ladies chat here while our treatment continues... Where are you at right now?

Will jump onto the other thread if I can find it to see the updates from Aggieblue and mollymartha.

xx


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## Aggieblue

bopster, great to hear from you! sounds like your treatment will be kicking off soon, will be definitely following it and crossing all fingers and toes it works out for you.


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## AnemoneBee

Hey Bopster, Sorry to hear you were unwell after the jabs. Is that the last one now? VERY exciting about the donor sperm arriving. Oh, it's all go! Keep us posted. Hope the finances go ok, it's a bit of a bloody headache trying to get everything sorted I think!

I'm doing ok, had a follow-up appointment yesterday with the clinic and am going to have a natural FET in the autumn. I had one embryo good enough for freezing and the clinic seemed quite positive about my chances. It sounds weird, but I'm embracing my single and childfree life since I got my negative result - it helps that I've got a good summer planned and it's a really healthy coping strategy after what I found to be such a full on few months of ivf.


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## mollymartha

hi bopstar so sorry to hear about the bad reactions to the jab bad luck hey are you feeling better now hope your holiday helped you relax and recover how exciting your sperm has arrived another step forward hey! not long now til you can get cracking to the next steps then im with access to the 2 year unlimited one thankfully and very very generously my parents lent me the money for that we were only able to do it due to a family inheritance otherwise no way could we have even attemepted any of this is massive amount of money isn't it which access  programme are you doing hope things move forward smoothly and positively for you please keep us updated how you get on 

thank you for the kind wishes bopstar and anemome 

anemone how are you doing atm gad you are doing ok, that's great you had your review hope you  felt positive and happy with that progress how exciting its your fet in the autumn sounds very promising the frozen embryo is strong and the clinic are very hopeful all good to go ahead when you are ready you have that to look forward to enjoy single life for now if you are embracing it go for it! it your summer to enjoy what have you got planned im sure it will  help you recover from a gruelling few months of ivf its  so intense and stressful isn't it you really do need a breather! enjoy!! x


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## bopster

Hi all

Thought I'd give you a quick update. Infection screening complete and all okay.  Just paid up for Access Fertility multi-cycle so now just waiting for Day 1 which is imminent to call clinic to arrange consenting appointment. Nervous. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I have a holiday booked second week of September so definitely need to start the first cycle now else I will have to most likely wait until the end of September.

How you getting on AnemoneBee?

Thanks mollymartha, am definitely enjoying single life at the moment so I am hoping I adapt if/when baby comes along!

Glad you and Aggieblue are doing well... will look on the other post to see how you are both getting on 

x


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## mollymartha

so glad all is looking great for you bopstar yay fab news lots of progress in the right direction im with access too the unlimited 2 year refund one they have been fab to deal with so so polite informative helpful friendly but not at all pushy so easy to deal with very impressed by them hey always answer emails and questions straight away have made that side of it so simple and stress free its natural to be nervous we all are but hope you are a bit excited too! im so excited for you atleast you have your holiday to look forward to not too far away now I hope you can get a cycle in before then and get started please do keep us updated how you get on 

hope things are going really well for you too anemone and you are enjoying a fab summer hope you enjoying the sunshine x


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## Aggieblue

Hi bopster, great to hear you cycle began! ive got all my fingers crossed for you, let us know how you're getting on. what medication are you on?


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## bopster

Hi all

Latest update, I have my consenting appointment on July 9th... meds ordered and being delivered on Saturday. Feeling very anxious and nervous about doing this now, guess it's usual? Wondering if I should feel more excited! Did you guys end up having ICSI?  It was advised on my form, but having read the consent form it is now freaking me out too.  

I'm on long protocol IVF. They've ordered me Buserelin, Gonal F, Ovitrelle, Cyclogest Pessaries... 

Are there any questions I should be asking during my consenting? My mind tends to draw a blank during these things so I want to write everything down before hand....


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## Choupi15

Hi bopster 

i will be starting a long protocol from the 12th too , just ordered my medication. I think these are what am having so all good. I am just having lupion Injections instead cyclogest , its just i didnt i like it last time. 

good luck it is indeed a exciting nervous experience i must say


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## Aggieblue

bopster, nice to hear it's all happening! i honestly can't remember now how i felt. a bit as if it was happening to someone else. but it just felt so right to do it. that's one feeling i remember. but each and every step on this journey is nerve wrecking, so no wonder your emotions are all over the place!
i'm also really bad with questions, so can't help with that! I didn't do ICSI, i think it depends on the quality of the sperm, and you may be advised to go for ICSI at the time of fertilisation. 

Choupi15, good luck with your cycle! nice to see new faces on this board


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## mollymartha

bopstar great news on the progress forward you are making,not long now at all til your appointment hope all goes really well please let us know how you get on how exciting you have all your meds so you are all set to go yes totally normal to feel nervous and anxious, I was sooo nervous on my first iui had no idea what to expect! scared of every stage its all so new and fear of the unknown, by the 3rd I was fine knew what to expect it became a nice familiar routine same when i started ivf I was mega nervous so anxious so worried and scared looking back I had no reason to be my clinic looked after me so so well for the ivf cycle and I wish I cold have relaxed and enjoyed it more as it was really such a fun exciting time full of hope please try to enjoy this magical time  its your moment to enjoy its all about you and your precious eggs them embryos and hopefully baby how fantastic is that!! think how long we all wait for this moment how much we go through just to get here and how precious and much wanted that baby is I know its easier said than done and easy for me to say but please so try to relax , your clinic will look after you im sure and do the very best at every step try to trust them and let them guide you through also we are all here  to listen and lean on for support it can be so tough going it alone but you aren't alone with the ladies on here I hope you have supportive friends and family too and your clinic will also help you and offer support and counselling if you need it these aren't everyday experiences we are going through so so stressful and literally everything in your world resting on this journey for a baby a lot of pressure isn't it! no I didn't have icsi the nurse told me they only use it if they really have to but the counselling nurse said as I was using frozen donor sperm they probably would  need to use it so I got conflicting info! and was really worried my dr at my base clinic and the staff at the main clinic never even mentioned it! but on the consent form it did say you may need to upgrade to icsi, your choice if you did it and paid extra if advised to or you could say no and had to sign saying you knew the risks of failed fertilisation without it I was realy panicking id need to upgrade to it but thankfully I was extremely lucky and didn't need it out of 12 eggs , 10 fertilised naturally without icsi I was so relieved!! good luck with all of yor meds I had short protocol so only had gonal f then menopur added in after 3 days of stimms , then cetrodide, ovitrelle and then cyclogest definitely write down all your questions first my mind goes blank at appointments too so I always take a list just think of anything that is worrying you or you want to know more about usually my clinic answered most of my questions before I had to ask them when they explained things to me very best of luck please do keep us updated how you get on im so so excited for you try to go in to it with a confident positive state of mind you are stronger than you think, tell yourelf you can do this hoping it all goes really well I always imagine everything that will go wrong in a cycle but try to focus on and remember everything that can go right here sending out calm positive gentle vibes to you 

choupi lovely to see ou here how are you getting on how are things going for you have you started your treatment  yet hope all is going really well plese let us know how you get on sending out calm positive vibes to you too x


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## Choupi15

Hi mollymartha. 

Am good i start my bruselin on Wednwsday the 10th. Lets see how it goes , excited and nervous 

So are you cycling this month doing a FET ?


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## bopster

Aww thanks mollymartha!  Hope all is going well! Keeping an eye on the other thread  

Welcome Choupi15, good luck for starting tomorrow. I am starting on buserelin on Monday 15th. The clinic were lovely and I brought a friend with me to absorb all the information as although I wrote notes I am a little overwhelmed with it all.

Looking forward to hearing how you get on

x


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## bopster

Hey all

AnemoneBee - how are you getting on? Do you have a date for your FET?

I am on day 6 of buserelin, so far not feeling many side effects (fingers crossed) so all good.  Was very nervous about the first jab but neednt have been, strangely I am finding that the left hand side hurts less than the right!

Anyway hope everyone is doing well.

x


----------



## AnemoneBee

Hi Bopster - Wow, that's amazing that you're so far into your cycle now! Glad you're not finding the jabbing too much, it's weirdly kind of fine isn't it? 

Well girls, I did what I set out to do and had an amazing month of summer vibes with all the partying, adventuring and flirting I could possibly muster...... and then hit the wall a little. Don't get me wrong, I had a ball whilst doing it and was exactly what I needed to do! But these last two weeks have been very hard: my manager had an almighty go at me for not pulling my weight at work (so much so I just stood there and sobbed for 40 minutes), and I've been feeling really down about the future. I can see all of the whys and wherefores of how this all happened but have been feeling a little bit like I'm at the bottom of a well and have made loads of mistakes! Don't worry, I'm feeling a bit better today and yesterday (did just get my period and my PMT makes me sad anyway so it all goes towards helping).

So anyway.... I think it is all pointing towards the fact that the hedonism was good but needs to stop, and now I need to focus again on my FET (and being better at work!). I'm nervous about the FET, not because of the process because I won't even notice as I'm going unmedicated (although obvs the 2 week wait obsession will always be felt I think!), but I'm already super nevous as this is my only frozen embryo and if it doesn't pan out then it's back to the drawing board for another cycle of IVF which I just can't face yet.... OK I know, I need to chill out because the FET might work and one step at a time etc... but still, those are all my feelings and I've just splurged them all onto the forum for you!

Sending love. Hi to Choupri and a hello again to Aggie Blue and Molly Martha - where are you girls up to now? x


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## Choupi15

hey Girls 

how are you all doing , just wanted to check on you all. i thought to say quick hello.  I am bit confused of wether to take time off after my ET. The reason is my work is very stressful and i was wondering if the doctor will write me a sick note. Have anyone of you ever requested for one ? 

@AnemoneBee @AggieBlue @Bopster @MollyM : Sending you babydust and i hope the cycle is working well for you big hugs to you all


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## AnemoneBee

Hi Choupi, my clinic wrote a drs note for me. Good luck x


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## Choupi15

Thanks AnemoneBee i will check with mine


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## Aggieblue

i didn't take time off, i think i would have gone crazy if i didn't have work as distraction. time goes faster as well.


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## Choupi15

Thanks Aggieblue ...haha i know its a crazy moment. I think i will take a few days off and back to work or work ffrom home some days 

i will see how it goes. only reason my project is so stressful


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## bopster

How are you getting on Choupi? I had my blood test and start stimming tomorrow


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## Aggieblue

bopster, wow, so exciting you finally start stimming! what a long journey to get here. can't wait to read how you're getting on, i wish you the best of luck! xx

AnemoneBee, any new plans yet?


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## Choupi15

hey Bopster, 

I am very well i am on day 8 of stimms , went for my scans still want me to keep on going , very sore a bit now. But yeah keeping positive and hopeful . Good luck with your Stimms and keep us updated. 

@Aggieblue : Congrats i just saw your signature you expecting in Feb ...very happy for you. 

Babydust to everyone cycling


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## bopster

Hi all,

On day 5 of stimms, feeling a little bloated and still suffering temperature-wise... is that usual? Had acupuncture yesterday for the IVF but also stress. I have my first scan on the 12th then second scan on the 14th. Eek.

@Choupi15 - following you closely behind   exciting to watch your progress. Have you thought of/tried acupuncture?  Has anyone else?  Do you have an idea of your EC date yet and are you doing a fresh ET?

@Aggieblue - How you getting on? How you feeling? Did you do any of the counselling on offer from your clinic?

@AnemoneBee - so glad to hear you let your hair down and relaxed a little... do you know when you're planning your FET?

Hugs to all x


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## Aggieblue

bopster, how is it going? how did your scans go? have you had your EC/ET yet?

i'm just back from 2 weeks holiday. i did use the counselling the clinic offered, yes. it was more practical than anything, as i found that at the beginning of this journey i was just happy and excited to get started, not anxious or anything. so we just went through some practical thing and single parent specific things. it was good though!


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## bopster

It's been really quiet here so haven't checked this thread in a while. 

@Aggieblue - welcome back from your holiday, hope you're now nice and relaxed?  How are you getting on?

I did counselling outside of the clinic, moreso do deal with other stuff also around being single etc. However, I did have my egg collection. Unfortunately I only got one egg from three follicles but it was a fighter, it fertilised, became a day 5 blastocyst and I had my ET today   so begins the 2ww...

I am not sure what people used to do without the internet! Its been a great source of information and companionship lol

x


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## Aggieblue

bopster, congratulations on being PUPO!! i hope you're not too anxious during the wait.

sorry to hear you only had one to transfer but you know, it only takes one! very exciting! 
did they ever comment on why they think you only had a few follicles growing? did they up your doses? i heard some people had issues with long protocol that their ovaries shut down after down-reg. wonder if that might have been the case for you?

hopefully we don't need to worry about it and you get your BFP! when is your OTD?

I'm doing well, both me and Mollymartha are in the Due Date Jan/Feb 2020 thread if you want to have a read.


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## Choupi15

@bopster congratulations of being  PUPO am excited for you ...enjoy your 2WW  

i hope everyone is fine and i am just back from my holidays and waiting for my appointment in two weeks with the consultant to check whats next after this failure


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## bopster

@aggieblue For some reason I never even questioned the number of follicles... but depending on the outcome of this 2ww I will definitely ask. Thank you for the information that might help as there were others there but they didn't really grow. As you say, it only takes one and I am truly grateful that it has got this far. I test on Sep 7th and then I fly to Sardinia! I will go and have a read on the due date thread, eager to see how you are both getting on.

@Choupi15 really sorry to hear about your outcome. Have you had any feedback regarding why none of your eggs fertilised?

I am currently trying not to read too much into symptoms and just going with the flow. Have you guys found any good SMC IVF youtube channels at all? 

x


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## Aggieblue

Choupi, i'm so sorry the cycle didn't work out the way it should have. hope you get answers from the consultant!

bopster, Sardinia sounds great, whatever the outcome is! hopefully it will be a celebratory trip  
i had no symptoms after the initial stretching and pulling. it all came later! 

i am not big on YouTube but if you find anything, do share!


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## Choupi15

@Aggieblue & bopster : Thanks so much for your message , i have an appointment with my consultant next week hopefully i get some clarity. 

Can i kindly check where did you girls cycle , i am looking for a new clinic. 

Enjoy sardinia and Aggie enjoy your pregnancy.


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## Aggieblue

Choupi, i was at LWC on Harley Street. There's a lot of negative reviews about them but they got me pregnant at first try. They are not very thorough though in terms of investigations etc so maybe not the best option if you have fertility issues or problems getting pregnant. 

bopster, only a few days to go!!!


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## Choupi15

Thanks Aggieblue 
@Bopster keep us updated


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## bopster

Thanks Aggieblue and Choupi, testing Saturday so fingers crossed.

I am using Wessex Fertility so it's out of London. I have heard good things about Create and CRGH but I think it can really depend on who you get etc.

x


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## Choupi15

Thanks @bopster, fingers x for you the info


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## Aggieblue

bopster?


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## bopster

Hey all

Apologies for going AWOL.  I kind of went off track for a bit after my result. BFN for me   was more devastated about the result than I thought I would be and it hit me quite hard but went on holiday and threw myself into exercise. Unfortunately then came back home with a bad back and 4 weeks on I am still suffering....

So, I had my follow up appointment with the consultant and she has recommended to try the antagonist protocol next time which I was going to do straight away with my October period but then decided to wait until January. My back is not in the best state, mentally and emotionally I need to recover and with Christmas and my birthday I thought it just best to get my **** together, if you know what I mean?

How did you get on Choupi with clinics?  And where are you with everything?

Aggieblue congrats, I have just seen that you're expecting a little boy, that's so lovely  

AnemoneBee - how are you getting on?

Hugs to you all

x


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## Choupi15

Hi Bopster 

So sorry it didnt work for you last time , i understand the pain. On the bright side look at Missl73 story she tried nearly 5 times this year with cancelled and BFN and now she got a nice BFP. I think in our situation we shouldnt give up.  Take the time to recuperate and get back there , i wish you loads of success. 

AFM : i havent start yet but i will be going to DR GOrgy clinic and do a fresh cycle. We really like his hands on approach , staff is nice and i feel like am not just a number but seen personally. So we are still deciding when to start the fresh cycle. 

Baby dust to you


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## Aggieblue

bopster, i'm so sorry! really not the news i was hoping for. sounds like you made the right decision to take some time out, enjoy the festivities and then get back to it. i hope 2020 will be your year!

Choup15, and the same for you. let us know how you get on, heard great things about Dr Gorgy.


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## SingleMommaBe

Hello ladies!  I'm 42 and wanting a baby.  I know I have waited too long, but finally decided to go for it.  Been experiencing several hurdles already - got to know I am no longer qualified for NHS, was told I have problems with my egg quality - but I'm bent on doing this.  Rates are quite high here in the UK so I am considering overseas treatment.  Any ladies in a similar situation?  It would be great to have some form of advice.


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## notamuggle

Hiya!

It’s so so long since I’ve been on here but I got an email alert saying there was a new post!

We have a ******** group for solo parents by choice in the UK and many there have had or are considering treatment abroad

I loved this forum but it became really quiet so I don’t come on much now

If you’re interested in joining us let me know xxx


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## Aggieblue

Hi SingleMommaBe,

there are a few of us around here single mums or mums-to-be by choice, welcome to the forum! 
I did IVF with my own eggs at the age of 40 and succeeded the first time, now 27 weeks pregnant  although I did cycle in the UK.

Best of luck with everything, feel free to message if you need a chat! xxx


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## Rosie Ribbons

Hi girls 
I started my journey 9yrs ago at the age of 25, I was determined to have my children as Mr right was nowhere to be seen 
I had many ups and down with egg quality etc but iv now got an 8yr old boy and 4 Yr old the later child was ivf in Athens and 3 blast frozen, the best decision iv ever made its tough but you get through it the rewards are immense, I certainly lost a few friends. I love this site great support, I'm now thinking of number 3 or do I just stay at 2 life is hectic but good the boys are at school so do I go for number 3 or not. 
Never give up on your dreams no matter how hard the process is 💖💖💖💖


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## express19

Hi SingleMommaBe,

I am also single and have made the decision to go abroad. Just started my first DE cycle now, hopefully will be successful. Using a clinic in Spain, but there are so many clinics and countries to choose from.

All the best on this journey


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## snowdropwood

hi - yes solo - just turned 43  - have put a post somewhere which i cant find about options  - e/g double donation ?  - currently with Create clinic xx


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## kittykat76

I am single by choice, my little boy is nearly 2, I was almost 41 when I conceived him via ivf,its the best thing I have ever done. I did mine in London. Good luck!


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## miamiamo

@express19 - amazing news, I keep my fingers crossed super tight for a positive outcome x


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## SingleMommaBe

Aggieblue You lucky girl!  I hope I get my baby at first try too, congratulations and I see you are more than halfway through.  Good luck! 

Rosie you are very brave! I am only praying for one but if you feel you want three, then it's really up to you.  

express19 Same with you dear, I know what you mean by so many clinics and countries.  In my case, I decided to go to Cyprus, Dunya IVF to be more specific.  They  suggested I go for embryo transfer.  It took me some time deciding on this.  But finally decided to give it a go.

snowdropwood How is it so far?  

kittykat76 Thank you for sharing dear, happy to hear of your baby boy, were you successful at first try?  NHS funded too?


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## bopster

Hi all

Back again after my BFN last year... was going to cycle in January but it just felt too soon. So I am now on for a second in February and now over 40. Really great to see more new faces.

Choup15 how are you getting on?

Aggieblue am going to jump onto the other forum as you must be due soon!

Hugs to you all



Aggieblue said:


> bopster, i'm so sorry! really not the news i was hoping for. sounds like you made the right decision to take some time out, enjoy the festivities and then get back to it. i hope 2020 will be your year!
> 
> Choup15, and the same for you. let us know how you get on, heard great things about Dr Gorgy.


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## SingleMommaBe

Bopster sorry to hear about your BFN.  I hope 2020 will be a lucky one for you.


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## bopster

Thanks SingleMommaBe, am about to cycle in the next few days so fingers crossed.  Hope everyone is well here... it's all a bit quiet!


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