# My adoption journey so far - on my own



## kittykat1234

Hi everyone -  ,

Hope you are all ok! 

Well i just thought i would update and share my very early days journey with you all so far . . . . . .

I made the phone call to my LA on 15.01.10
Had my information session yday - 30.01.10 which went very well, very positive! There were 2 married couples and a same sex couple who were all lovely! Nothing told that my hours and hours of internet research and 2 books i have read so far havn't taught me so i was pleased about that!! I actually ended up telling the others in the group all about the good sites to join ie Be my parent and Adoption Uk  

I have got my CRB checks booked for the 13.02.10 and also have to hand the form in saying what age and sex child i am looking for and how many etc!

So thats where i am at so far  

I do have one hurdle ahead though and thats my mom and dad! I havn't told them yet  

My mom had a stroke last yr (may) and they are both in their 70's also and mom very frail but getting better! I know they are gonna think i have lost my mind and wont understand to start with why on earth i am doing this, especially alone as i can have my own children and will do some day but have wanted to do this for the best part of 3 yrs now!

I am just hoping they see how much i want to do it and why and will support me cause thats all i ask! Just dont know how to start the conversation off  

Any ideas would be appreciated  

xxxx


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## kittykat1234

Also forgot to put that i started voluntary work at a local nursery on friday - 29.01.10 with the 0-12 month olds and the 12-18 month olds! Loved it and cant wait to go back friday!!

I have a fair amount of experience but it all helps and also looks good to the sw me thinks  

xxx


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## ♥JJ1♥

Great to hear that it is all going well. My friend also a single mum had health problem and ops so had to hault her adoption process after she had been approved to be matched, she saw her SW this week who was delighted with her progress and happy to re-open and pick up where she left off. So hopefully she will be a mummy soon
L x


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## kittykat1234

Thank you, yes so far so good but early days yet but i am in no hurry so we'll see.

Ohhhh thats great about your friend, i bet she is soooo pleased she start things off again without any problems!

Ill keep you all posted!



xxx


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## herbaltea

Hi 

I was really interested to read your post as I too am a singlie and have just embarked on the adoption journey!

I made my initial enquiry 2 weeks ago and have my initial info meeting on the 19th jan  can't wait to get started as I have desperately wanted a family for the last ten years!

It's so great to have such brilliant support on these forums. Maybe we can be adoption buddies!!


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## kittykat1234

Hi there Herbaltea,

Lovely to hear from you! Our journey so far is almost at exactly the same time of doing things!

I would love us to become adoption buddies, especially as both single!  

I have learnt soooooooooooo much off here this last few weeks and also reading the books i have read! I can highly reccomend flying solo by julia wise and Adopting a child - A guide for people interested in adoption by Jennifer Lord - both of which i got from Amazon and they are both soooo good! There is a link on here 'useful books to read' and there are loads listed there too. 

I have just ordered my next 2 which are about adopting different heritage children to yourself as I am very open to this and want to be as prepared as possible on how the best way is to make this work.

Did you mean your info day is the 19th Feb? Not Jan? 

How have all your friends and family taken the news? Or havn't you told them all yet?

Hope you don't mind me asking, if you do please say. You can pm me if easier xxx


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## herbaltea

Hiya! Sorry this is short but my computer has a virus so I'm having to type very slowly on my iPhone!!

Yes, sorry, did mean the info day was the 19th feb! 

haven't told the parents yet as I want to get my medical out of the way first - then will tell them  all my close friends know and my brother and they have all been brilliant and very supportive. 

How about you?

I already am certain I want to adopt, so I'm hoping I can proceed directly from the info day.

I have ordered 3 books from amazon and they're on their way  think I will get flying solo too.

S x


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## kittykat1234

Hahahaha no worries, i frequently have to use my iphone and its not always the easiest!

I havn't told my mom or dad either yet as its gonna be a big shock as i am only 30 and can have children biologically so they are gonna probably think i am insane!!! I am just hoping they understand why i am doing it and that its something i have been looking into for 3 yrs now!! Plus it won't be anytime soon that i am placed with a child so hopefully that will make them feel better!! I am very worried about telling them!!  

The friends i have told have been great but do have their worries as i am still young and on my own but am hoping that wont be for ever and they know how much i want to be a mom and give a child a loving home!!

Glad you have got the books on order! I have read the 2 i mentioned in 2 weeks and cant wait for the next 2 to arrive!! I also love researching stuff on the net!! I am in the middle of reading all about attachment disorder! I know we will be trained a bit about this and will be offered to go on a attachment course but thought i would start now!

Also been reading all about drug and alcohol abused babies and the effects this has and also physical and mental abuse cause i need to know the effects and what i would be dealing with in order to be able to know what i am capable of taking on! Don't wanna be saying yes or no to something i could be wrong about!

xxx


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## kittykat1234

CRB checks on saturday  

Just another step closer hopefully   and 1 more hurdle over  

Not much to report really but just thought i would update as i am going along, small steps or big  

Hope all your journeys are going well xxxx


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## Pink Lady 66

kittykat1234 said:


> CRB checks on saturday
> 
> Just another step closer hopefully  and 1 more hurdle over
> 
> Not much to report really but just thought i would update as i am going along, small steps or big
> 
> Hope all your journeys are going well xxxx


What do you mean by CRB checks on Saturday ? Just wondering as we have completed all forms and they never said when our CRB checks would specifically be done they said any time in between 1st Home Visit and 1st Home Study, are you booked on a prep course yet ?


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## kittykat1234

Hey Lady Pink,

I have actually wondered this as most ppl seem to have their sw visit then prep course after their info meeting where as my LA is info meeting, CRB checks then first home visit (screening) , prep course, home study, adoption panel then matching.
  
Just a different order of doing things!

I am looking forward to the first home visit as thats where i can ask all my questions and get a feeling of who i will likely to be approved for  

How are you getting on? xx


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## Pink Lady 66

Well we had our home visit i was a little disappointed to be honest she asked me hardly any questions and i did not feel as if i was able to input as much as i wanted she stayed around 1.5 hours but only asked general questions about work, money, why we want to adopt what things we do as a couple and our dog.  I was thinking she would be asking alot more.  We have to wait now to see if we can go on next course, however it may well be over subscribed so we might have to wait til september, i am so impatient been wanting to be a mummy for 16 years now and the wait is tearing me apart.
I do wish you luck too let us know how it all goes for you.


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## kittykat1234

Yes i have just read your post about your home visit, please try not to worry. I mean i would try and look at how she was as a positive and if she had any major concerns at that point then surely she would have said  

I have read mixed posts re the home visit and some say the sw's are there a few hours and it's all very intense and othes say similar to yours. I think it depends on the LA/VA and the individual sw.

I have just read my info pack again and it says that the home visit will last about 3 hours and will go over the type of kids available and for me to ask anything i want to and for the sw to get a picture of what i am looking for etc etc.

I will def let you know how it all goes - i can't wait as so far enjoying researching all about things and planning my eco map and reading all about drug misuse and alcohol misuse and attachment issues etc - just want to be as prepared as possible. I am booked on the adoption uk 'parental misuse of drugs and alcohol' course which is on 27.02.10 so that should be interesting as i am feeling i would be able to take on a child whom had been subjected to substance misuse whilst the bm was pregnant so need to know all i can about the possible effects.

Keep your chin up and it will all be fine and you will have your prince/princess with you before you know it  

Keep in touch xxx


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## kittykat1234

Hi all, 
just on way back from crb checks! 
All was fine, just form filling in and had to take all my id!
Now just gotta wait for it to go through! Asked him about my 6 points, 3 for speeding and 3 for talking on phone! He said should be fine, bit worried though!! .
Hope your all ok anyway xxx


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## Pink Lady 66

Glad it went well i am sure the traffic points wont be a problem, you must be pleased the ball is rolling I am bit stagnant at mo waiting to see if we get on the course hoping to hear week commencing 22nd feb my birthday week


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## kittykat1234

Ooohhhh I'll keep everything x'd for you both  .
Hope ur having a good weekend! 
I've just gotta wait now for crb results, hate waiting! He said it can take up to 4 weeks!!
Xxx


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## kittykat1234

Well attended the auk course on parental substance misuse today.

It was very good and informative and met some really lovely people whom i have exchanged email address's with  

The 1 couple have gone through the same LA as i am so that was great to hear how they have got on and fired a load of questions at them!  

I also got to find out about a support group which starts on 08.03.10 20 mins away from me so i'm going to that as i have been trying to see if there was one locally  

Still nothing on the CRB checks but it's only been 2 weeks today.

I told my dad last sunday - can't beleive i havn't put that on here before now!! It went really well and he absolutly amazed me - i had got him sooooooooooooo wrong!! I didnt go into how much i have done so far, just that its something i'm VERY interested in and have looked into etc! He was great about it and said out of all the options to have a baby i could choose (being single) this is the 1 he would  want for me! My worry was it not being their flesh and blood as they can be very traditional and stuck in their ways but to my amazement he said that wouldn't even enter his head as a thought never mind an issue   - i then cried and he really didn't understand what i was sooooo worried about and why did i think they would react so badly!

Didn't tell my mom as she wasn't having a great day - may tell her tomorrow  

xxx


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## kittykat1234

Well just a little update!!

Had a call of the sw this morning to arrange my first home visit for next tuesday - 10am  !!

Soooooooo excited and nervous at the same time!! I also can't beleive it but its the sw who took my first call when i contacted them and who took the info meeting!!! I instantly took to her so although i know it won't be her all the way through, i am soooooooo happy its her to start with!!  

Hope everyone is ok anyway and ill update after it's all over!!

xxx


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## mmmbop

Wa hey    


great news Kitty, the week should fly by, can't belive our hv was a week ago already!!!!

Love Bops,xxx


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## kittykat1234

Thank you bops!! Yes i am soooooooo excited!!

Yes yours seems only yday!! Can't beleive it was a week ago!!

Hope you are well and managing the waiting game as best you can xx


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## GIAToo

Kittykat - SOOOO pleased about your Dad's reaction - that's great news and I'm sure it's a weight off your shoulders. When I told my parents I was going it alone, they asked me if I'd been worried about telling them and I promptly burst into tears too, which answered that question and they couldn't believe it either. Like you, I thought that my proposal was going to be pushing their boundaries a bit too far interms of modern life IYSWIM.

Anyway, good luck for the rest of your journey - I shall look forward to following your progress  
Take Care  
GIA Tooxx


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## kittykat1234

Thank you G I A too!! 

So what is your story? Have you adopted or in the process?? How old were you when you first started?? Hope you don't mind all the questions.

Yes it was a huge relief telling my dad! Just gotta tell mom now and put them both in the picture fully about quite how serious i am and what i have done so far! I am gonna wait though until next tues is out the way (in the nicest way possible) and then as long as all goes ok with that, tell them fully then  

Good to hear from you xxx


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## GIAToo

Hi

No I am not adopting - I have been looking into adopting and I cannot even apply to my LA until a year after I have finished all IVF treatment!   I have had one IVF cycle with donor sperm and got a BFN 2 weeks ago.  Have f/u next week so I can then plan next steps.  I was told last year that I was menopausal and was devastated.  Two of my cousins got pg naturally at 44 and stupidly I thought I still had time to meet Mr Right and if I didn't then it was no big deal to not have kids.  When I was told I might not be able to have kids, I was totally floored and as soon as I started ovulating again (coming off the pill screwed up my natural cycle for 3 months), then I decided to look into having a child alone. Phew! That's it in a nutshell.  

So I'm sorry I can't be much help with info/experience on your adoption journey, but I'm still here to support you and follow your story      
xx


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## Maccer

*So excited for you Kittykat *   

I hope this week flies by, I know the sw is going to be very impressed with everything you have done, your journey seems to be going smoothly, I sincerely hope it carries on like that, please let us know how it goes.

Mx


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## kittykat1234

Going it alone - Sorry to hear your past history problems, i know exactly what you mean about still thinking there is time to meet mr right!! I have been on my own 5 yrs now (with the odd thing here and there) and if it wasn't for my desire to (a) adopt and (b) have a little one/ones then i would also not even be considering the time issue in all this!! I also have a friend who has had massive fertility problems and she is my age (30) and thats also really highlighted how time is ticking on!! 

I have always wanted to adopt (ideally with a partner), but i figured that if i leave it much after my 30th b'day, then it's just wasting time and also delaying me having bio children to an age where it may not be possible! I just can't keep waiting for mr right to come along, hence me starting this journey alone.

So are you going to apply to adopt once the period is over that you have to wait? Srry but don't know what BFN means or f/u ??

Thank you for your support and i am here to keep you going when ever needed too!! I will update as much as possible   as i seem to live on here at the moment  

Maccer - thank you sooo much for your lovely message!! Really made me smile!!    . I hope all i have done so far will go in my favour but i'm just gonna take one step at a time and deal with next tuesday   - it's worked out so well though cause on the monday night, the eve of the first hv, i am attending my first support group meeting through auk! Found out about it on saturday when i was at the auk course i went on! Its only 20 mins away too so i will be able to grill them all on what i am to expect the next day  

Thank you again both and will keep in touch xxxx


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## GIAToo

Sorry - BFN = Big Fat Negative and f/u = follow up (consultation).  I think I will consider DE (donor eggs) before moving on to adoption to be honest, but who knows how I'll feel as time goes on.  I have always wanted to foster, so maybe I'll do that aswell if I do manage to have my own biological child.  

Take care and hope you meet some great people at the support group meeting


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## kittykat1234

Ohh i see, i have seen BFN so many times and never known what it stand for!

I wish you all the luck in the world i really do!!!! Lets keep in touch!!

Let me know whats said at your f/u appointment and once again good luck, i will permanently keep everything crossed for you  

xxxxx


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## kittykat1234

Just an update for the diary as have posted all about this on the main board - 

Had my first sw visit on tuesday - 09.03.10  
Went  REALLY well!!!  

The sw i had was lovely, but i knew that anyway as had her for the info meeting i went on. She came at 10 and left at 1.30. We covered everything you can think of and she said she is definately putting me forward and she can see no problem as to why her superior would say no      

Very happy so far and am now just waiting to hear for sure i have been put forward and then to start prep course in sept as the groups before this are all full.


xx


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## Tegan-Marie

Hi KittyKat,

Just wanted to say hi and glad your journey is going well so far.

I'm in similar situation to you, I'm 28 and have decided to apply to adopt as a single person. Its nice to be able to chat to people having the same experiences. 

I went for a info meeting last june and applied properly in september, I had to wait as I was moving. I had my initial visit and then did the prep course in february. I've started hs but unfortunately due to holidays, my social workers and then mine there  is going to be a bit of a gap now.n  

Anyway keep us updated as to how you get on.

xx


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## kittykat1234

Hi Tegan-Marie,

Sooooooooooooo nice to hear off someone in more or less exactly the same situation as me       and sooooooooo close in age too!

You are a little further on than me so it will be GREAT to hear how you are getting on?

Ok time for a grilling, if you don't mind that is   . . . . . . .

How did your family and friends take to the news of you deciding to adopt? If you have told them yet that is.
What age are you hoping for?
What are your thoughts if you meet someone along the way or after being matched? This is something i am battling a little bit with as i don't want to be single for ever, but have wanted to adopt for sooo long and i always said that if i am in a position to do it once i have turned 30, then i'll go for it!!

Would be lovely to hear back from you xxxx


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## Tegan-Marie

Hi kittyKat,

I don't mind the grilling at all  , its great to be able to talk to people in the same situation.

I've only told my close family and friends, i'm keeping it as quiet as possible for now. My mam and dad I told before i started and they were great. They are only in their early fifties and really enthusiastic and willing to help out which is fantastic. 
I've told my closest friends and I got a bit of a mixed reaction at first,  a couple were really pleased for me, but one or two i think thought at first it was just one of my ideas and didn't really understand why i wanted to do it. I'm like you in that I can have biological kids but just haven't met the man i would have them with, and I have always thought about adopting.  Now I've got so far down the process they are supportive.

The meeting a partner thing is something that i do think about, its funny because i really want to do this, and right now i wouldn't get involved because of interfering with the adoption process, but I still hope i will meet the man i want to be with eventually. Its something to discuss with my sw i guess. What are your thoughts?

As for age, with being on my own and still needing to work a fair amount of hours, I had originally said 3-7 as my age range thinking that a child that was at school would be more realistic for me, but I've since found out that my employer provides a very generous company adoption leave pay scheme but only if the child is under 5. if they are older it is statutory only, which has given me something to think about. What are your thoughts?

Its interesting how all of the la's and va's do things differently isn't  it? i've just arranged my medical and sent off for my crb but have already been on the prep course?    

Anyway I've rambled on enough, let me know what you are thinking about the above questions if you don't mind.

xxx


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## kittykat1234

Hey tegan -marie,

Sorry about the delay! Had a manic weekend so far!

Hope you are having a good one.

I can't beleive how similar our situations are  

I have told close friends and the girls at work and mentioned it to my dad, will tell my mom sometime over the next few months, and all positive so far but i still think people think i am mad to be choosing single parent hood when i still have plenty of time to find someone and do it all with them,but like i say to peope, i can't keep waiting around for mr right to come along else i'll be waiting for ever, i have to start this now! It's not even as though as it's gonna be any time soon either, although the LA i am through do move quite quick  

Like you, now i have really got going with this, everyone does seem to be taking it seriously and are getting more used to it and the more i speak about it and the courses i am going on and the books i am reading and i attend an auk support meeting once a month, the more serious they take it, and they know i am the type of person to have thought this through 10000%. I have said i would like to adopt since i was at school, as one friend reminded me  

Yer the meeting someone part of it is a tricky one! I certainly don't want to be single for ever and if i was 100% honest i would rather be doing this with a partner, but like you am not looking for anyone as i know it will have to stop this process which i don't want to do unless something started to get really serious!

So what do you do work wise? How long are you hoping to take off once you are placed?

My age range is 0-3, this is the age i feel most comfortablest with and i am vey lucky as i am morgage free so with the benefits you get, plus sap, my adoption savings account i'll be able to take a yr off, which is what they advise with the younger ones as putting them in child care too soon obviously wouldn't be good. I am just dreading telling work as the 1 dentist i work for thinks woman having babies is ridiculous, never mind adopting and i think he may have got wind of it as he put a big line through the adoption policy when i was showing him something on the maternity one and he said " adopting, ridiculous unless your a married couple" - but i wrote down exactly what he said and the date and time and will continue to do so cause if he carries on i can take him to court for making detrimental comments!!!

I love the fact that when adopting you get the same rights as maternity with regards to the amount of time off  

Yer my LA does do things in a different order to most and they did tell us that as they do the CRB checks after the info meeting, nice to have got it out the way though as took 3 weeks to come back!

So how did you find the prep course? Any useful tips??

Hope you are having a good weekend xx


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## Tegan-Marie

Hi Kittykat,

Hope you are well, 

Apologies it taken me so long to reply, I work in finance as an accountant and its been hectic over the past couple of weeks with financial year end approaching, plus i was away last week.  Not long till its over tho and I can relax a bit. About adoption leave I'm hoping to take off between 6 to 12 months in total. I can get just about 6 months leave with full pay from my employer, ( the bonus of working for a huge company with a generous maternity package) and the remainder of the time depends on how much I will have saved in total. 

Thats rubbish about your employer making those comments on adoption! You are right to keep a note of them, although I don't think its worth worrying about, once we get matched (fingers crossed) we are too well protected by law for him to treat you any different. 

I've been feeling until recently that its all a bit distant and won't happen until some unspecified time way in the future, I think its with it being such a long process and having taken ages to get to where i am now which still only at the beginning really. The past couple of weeks it has started to feel more real though, my references have been sent out, my medical is done and completed now and I've all my bits of home study to complete (some proper thinking required now). I've found I can't stop thinking about it now, its always been there but now it seems much more real and I'm considering future plans before i make them in case they have an impact. I'm rambling a bit here but finding it hard to express exactly what i mean.  How are you dealing with the waiting and the way lots of things happen at once and then nothing for ages. 

When do you do your home study course? I found mine invaluable, it was fantastically well organised and I got alot out of it. My LA are very focussed on making the course as good as possible and have a feedback session a few days later where they tell you how you were percieved and you tell them how you feel things could be improved.  The two things I would say are: the disadvantage of being on your own is that you receive so much information and ways of thinking about things that it is hard when you are on your own, the couples can go home and process it together and talk about it. But i guess in a way we have to be prepared for the fact that it is just us. The second thing is about preconceptions really, I had done alot of reading before i went and thought i knew what i felt about some issues, like contact for example but i totally changed my mind after the courses. 

Where have you been doing your courses at? Are they things you have organised yourself?

Anyway I better get back to the work I'm supposed to be doing.

Tegan-Marie xx


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## kittykat1234

Hey  

Good to hear from you.

No worries about taking a while to reply, i knew you must have been busy or something.

Thats soooooooo good about you getting the first 6 months on full pay!!! You are really lucky!! But like you say, a bonus of working for a large company i spose! Our place will just follow the guide lines, but i know that so i have worked out the financial side of things whilst i am on leave and with all the benefits i'll receieve (working fam tak, child benefit,child tax credit and sap) plus my savings, i'll be fine!

Yer i am not best pleased about his comments at all and will be making a note about everything beleive me! I have worked for him for over 10 yrs so i know what he is like, but it still doesn't make it any easier!! I am also expecting a NO to wanting to go back 3 days a week!! I am going to be very fair and say i'll cover any sick and holiday etc of anyone when needed and also i know 100% my job can be done in 3 days a week so it's not an unfair ask, but still i can see them saying no! It will only be a drop of a day and half as i finish at 12 on fridays and am going to ask to come back mon-wed. I would rather only do 2 days but want me and little one to have a quality of life so i need to do 3 really  . If it is a no then i will find something else and there a lot of part time dental nursing jobs about at good money, as will need to be on what i am on now to be able to do 3 days ( i am in management at the moment), but working in b'ham which is about 40 mins away, but we'll see whats what when the time comes as the only thing that will matter then will be the little one   

Yer i know what you mean with the feeling a bit distant and the waiting all the time! Although your journey has had longer gaps between things than mine so far and you also started before me. I made the phone call in jan, then had info meeting 3 weeks later then CRB checks 2 weeks later then first hv i think about 4 weks later as CRB's took 3 weeks to come back, so all in all fairly quick. I know the LA i am with don't hang about as i got talking to a couple on 1 of the courses i did and from their first phone call to being matched was 18 months!! They run info meetings every 2 weeks and prep courses every 2 months but the april and june one is full so i am fingers crossed on the september one, just waiting to hear  . For me though there is no rush really, and from what the sw said last time she was here, i am looking at about 8 months from formally applying, which i think is after the prep course, so thats about may next year, and then hopefully will be matched, or i'll be lucky from BMP around end of next yr     - if i am lucky!! I am finding lots to be getting on with though to pass the time till the sept prep course, i have done my eco map for the support network, took me ages and had to get help from my friend who is a wiz on microsoft word, i am partly way through my booklet i am doing on promoting my area and neighbourhood, i have asked people if they will write a few paragraphs about me and how they think they will support me and how i will make a good mummy etc and they are including pictures, and also reading loads and booked on more courses. The courses are through auk. I have only been on 1 so far ("parental substance misuse"), and am booked on " talking to your child about adoption" which is in may as this is something i do worry about doing as i know it's sooooooooooo important!! The books i am reading are VERY intense, but i need to know all i can! The one i am reading at the moment is called " New families, old scripts" and it's all about all the issues these kids may have and why. Intense but good!

It's funny you say about considering future plans before making them and how they will effect things as i now have to think ahead and how everything will effect my life when i have a little one! I am at the moment looking into having a conservatory built for a play room and have been looking at appropriate flooring and how i want it laid out so that i can have a sofa in there too so parents can be in there too etc and although i know it's way too early to be doing all this, i have to think about it financially. I could pay a bit of it now but the quotes i have been given, i would need a loan or finance plan (unless my dad gets his way and funds it for me - bless him) and so i would rather be paying it off monthly now, whilst i can afford it and get it paid off, than when i am on adoption leave or after when i am only doing 3 days  week!! But then i don't want to have it done and be paying for it and then not get approved, but hopefully any reasons for not being approved will show themselves before panel!! Also been looking at how to change the garden, well not change but things to add, built in sand pits and vegetable patch, saved all the wicked sites to my favourites on my pc for when the time comes! Even a job i saw a few weeks ago, less hours,more money and less responsibility - i had to think long and hard about as it was 40 mins away and so that would affect a lot when little one is here as i am pretty sure i know which child minder/nursery to use (depending on which type will suit little one) and school too as i have been researching any schools that have teachers who have done any adoption training!! All these are near me and where i work now so if i was to move jobs further away, all that would need to be changed, and then there is the huge matter of if little one was poorly, or if i was stuck 40 mins away and needed to get back etc etc, which would never be the case with where i am now as everything, nursery/child minder,school,home and work is all within 10 mins of each other    . 

I am really looking forward to the prep course but i will be VERY nervous too! Those sorts of times are when i really miss not having someone by my side, but as you say, we havn't so thats that, although i have seen a few singlies have taken a friend or mom or sister along (a) for support and (b) to give that person a good idea of whats involved too, so i am thinking of maybe doing that, if allowed etc!

Thats interesting you should say about contact and how you read loads on it and thought you knew your views on it but then after your course changed your mind. I have read a fair bit about it too and also watched a few dvd's but then i was reading a few threads on here and the auk message boards and the amount of anger and upset that was caused to the children afterwards and the impact it all had for days and days afterwards has really made me think!! I have always said what ever is deemed best for the child i will do, but not sure if thats enough!! What are your thoughts on it and how did the course change them?

I am really eager to know also whats involved in the hs I have no idea really other than family tree's and eco maps but not sure what else?? You say you have a lot of thinking to do, what about??

Sorry for the essay  

Hope work calms down for you and it's great to talk to you!!

Are you on ********? xx


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## kittykat1234

Just a quick update . . . . .

Came home to a letter from the adoption team tonight to say i meet the criteria to be put forward on to the prep course  

Soooooooooo happy!! xx


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## Maccer

Just seen this CONGRATULATIONS  

Very happy for you Kittykat.

Mx


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## kittykat1234

Thanks Maccer - much appreciated  

The letter definately brightened up my easter that's for sure   

Hope all is well for you and you get some news soon     

xxxx


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## Tegan-Marie

Hi KittyKat,

First of all congratulations on your letter, thats fab news. Its something positive to look forward to, and september will be here before you know it. Its sounds awesome that your la is so quick once you get going. 

Again I must apologise for disappearing for a few weeks, been mental at work but luckily its all over as far as year end goes now.   I can start getting on with my paperwork and everything now.

Wow you've already done your eco-map, thats really organised, I need to have a go at doing mine but am a bit stuck about it. You seem really prepared already which is admirable. I'm not sure if you've read it but my prep course recommended 'real children real parents' by holly van golden, as a really good book to read. 

I think you are right about work, we get really stressed out about it now and plan for it but when we are matched    it won't seem so important anymore. You sound like you are being really reasonable in your requests and they have to try and accomodate you. I've not really mentioned at work about changing my hours yet but i'm thinking of reducing to between 25 and 30 hours hopefully to work round school and with a bit of babysitting by my mam I'm hoping it will work out. I'm lucky in that i can work from home sometimes as well if i need. 

Your house and garden plans sound awesome. isn't nice to be able to plan!!! 

The prep course i really enjoyed. It is a bit nerve racking at first as they repeatedly tell you that you are being constantly assessed but you do kinda relax into it and just think you have to be yourself. it is hard being alone tho. Our LA doesn't let you take anyone with you either, but it might be worth it if yours does? My thoughts about contract changed really in that i realised that even if it is disruptive, it does keep the reality of the situation alive.

I don't really think we are supposed to talk too much about hs on these boards, but i'll send you a pm with my ******** id anyway.

Hope you've enjoyed your easter weekend.

Tegan-Marie xxx 

How's your running going? which half marathon is it that you are doing.


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