# Hi, New and Nervous#



## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Hi, 

I am new to this site and just starting down what feels a very long and scary road.  Forgive me if I don't use the abbreviations, I have yet to learn all the jargon.

I have been TTC for 2 1/2 years now, up until now I thought the biggest complication was geography, my DH and I both work away from home a lot.  However, recently I sought the courage to mention to my Doc - who initially suggested 2 blood tests, one at day two of cycle and the other on day 21.  I had the 21 day first and it came back that I had not ovulated - I was on holiday at the time and it sort of knocked me for six.  My monthly cycle varies from 19 days to 49, although normally 26-28, apparently this also needs to be investigated.   I had the day two test last week - results not yet received.  

DH and I have decided not to share that we are TTC with anyone, so as not to add any pressure of the question "Are you .... yet?" let alone tell that we are undergoing tests.  Both my SIL's have 2 children each, and its become a bit of a joke that we don't have kids, love jobs, houses, cars, etc too much when really all I want is what they have got.  

However, I have an appointment with Gynie on Monday - and to be honest, I don't really understand or know what tests/processes I will have to endure or what questions I ought to be asking.  So if anyone has any advice that they could share with me I would appreciate it.  I feel a little lost and overwhelmed with it all, DH is away with work and so I have to go on my own.  

Thanks
Amanda


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## waywardstork (Apr 30, 2007)

Hi Amanda,
Welcome!  I am also a fairly new member - just two weeks or so.  There is always something to read on this site and also many who will answer questions if you post them!
Good luck with your first gynae appointment ... the internet is great for research, but until you have had a few tests done, it is pointless to get yourself too worked up.  Keep calm, possitive thoughts.  
Best of luck,
Caron
aka waywardstork


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## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Caron, 

Thanks for kind words, and the bubble - both are appreciated.  It is all just a bit scary!   

However, I do feel better for registering here - yet to work out how to post signature etc, but will get there in the end.

Thanks again
Amanda


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## BubblyJules (Apr 9, 2007)

HI AMANDA    

A big warm welcome.  I can't really help that much as I'm relatively new to all this,  just on my first cycle of IUI.  

You've come to the right place for help, support and advice though.  You will probably have a laparoscopy, to see if your tubes are clear.  They will pass a die through your tubes to say if they are clear.  then your DH will have to provide a SA, so they can test, to see if there is anything to be concerned about...

Jules


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## cleg (Jun 27, 2006)

_*Amanda a big  & warm welcome to FF hun 

you have come to the right place for support + all who grace these boards will offer their services any time they can  so never be affraid to ask + just jump right in when you feel the need 

its seems so long ago when i went through all the initial stages yet it hasnt been a year from my 1st appointment with my consultant, about ??'s just write down anything that you can think of, no question is silly + the doc's are there to answer, you will probably find like i did that the initial appoinment will be in the hands of the Doc + they will tell you what you need to know + discuss any tests that you have had done  dont worry you'll be fine but would be good if you had someone to accompany you  

i will leave you some links to get you started just click 

starting out + diagnosis - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=110.0

counties in england so you can get to know folks in your area great for support  - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=218.0

+ peer support for any ??'s you have - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=186.0

boy + girl thread is just for fun  have a look, join in + get to know people  - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0 

wishing you lotsa  on your journey hun 

xxx cleg xxx*_


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## waywardstork (Apr 30, 2007)

johnson23 said:


> Caron,
> 
> - yet to work out how to post signature etc, Thanks again


Hi again,
If you look at the row of buttons across the top of the page, one of them says 'profile'. Click that ... down the left of the new screen, there will be various options, one will allow you to edit your profile and add a signiture.
Good luck
PS ... Don't feel , I *still* can't work out how to get into chat!!!!!


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## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Thank you everyone for kind thoughts and welcome - off to trawl through the links. 

Amanda


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## kelly2509 (Apr 7, 2005)

Hi Amanda, just wanted to say hello and welcome to ff. Good luck with your hospital appointment. Its hard to know the questions to ask at your 1st appointment as you are not sure what to expect. The doctors and nurses are normally very good and will explain everything to you but make sure that if you are not sure of anything dont be afraid to ask. There is nothing worse than coming away from your appointment and asking yourself ''well what does that mean?, could it mean this or that?'' and ''I wish I would have asked this'' If you think of anything you want to ask prior to your appointment, write it down and take the questions with you to your appointment. I wish you all the luck in the world with your future treatment. x
I have also blown you some more bubbles as they are supposed to end in the number 7 for good luck.  
You will soon find your way around this site and everyone is so helpful, supportive and friendly. I dont know what I would have done without them. They will help you through the good times and the bad.
Take care for now
Kelly
xx


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## jkw (May 5, 2007)

Hi Amanda. Welcome to ff! 

I'm new to the forum as well. I've just recently been diagnosed with pcos, and feel the same as you - a bit lost, scared and overwhelmed by it all. I've found this forum to be a great source of information and support in the short time I've been here, and I'm sure you will too. 

Best of luck, and hope to see you around!

J xx


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

Hello Amanda

Welcome to FF!  

I just wanted to say try not to panic about your Day 21 tests suggesting you hadn't ovulated.  As your cycles vary quite a lot, it could just be that Day 21 was too early (ovulation happens about 14 days before the end of your cycle, so, as your cycles vary between 19 and 49 days you could ovulate anywhere between day 5 and day 35 - so Day 21 could well have just been too early).

There is a fantastic book that you might find helpful - it is called 'Taking charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler - I learned so much about my cycle from it (it gives loads of advice about charting cycles and working out when your fertile time is).

Anyway, very best of luck - you have found a great place for advice/support here!

Some1
x


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## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Amanda   

Welcome to FF.  Hopefully you will find this to your haven of support and information.

I know when we first started on our tx journey, there were different Dr's telling us this, and another telling us that!  The point is, you are already stressed, and really don't have the brain power to take in all that they are saying.  I found eventually, that taking notes was the only way in which I could get the best from my appointments.  Don't feel rushed or that you are taking up too much of their time - you make sure that they explain everything clearly and if you don't understand, (which usually is because they are using words that no one has ever heard of!!), make sure you ask them to explain again.

It is a hard decision whether to tell friends and family about what you are going through.  We have a bit of a unique situation in the sense that our families are a bit like the Waltons (good night Jim Bob!! ), so we had no hesitation in telling them.  We just figured that we would need their support, and couldn't keep such a big deal from them.  Having said that, there were times when we just wanted to lick our wounds by ourselves, but then again, those times were few and far between.

When all is said and done, you have to do what is right for you.  There will be no end of support from everyone here, so feel free to let us help if you need.

Hope all goes well with your appointment.  Keep your chin up babe. 

Bib xx


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## Miss_Moneypenny (May 6, 2007)

Hi Amanda

Firstly welcome to the site  . I only joined a week ago and am addicted already!

I'm at a similar stage to yours in that I mentioned to the doctor that nothing was happening and had a blood test done which showed that I hadn't ovulated. However with irregular cycles myself I don't know whether the test was done at the wrong time of the month or maybe I just didn't ovulate this month and I will next month - only further blood tests will reveal this!

As for your appointment I expect they will ask your hubby to have a sperm analysis (SA) before suggesting that you go on drugs to regulate your cycle and make you ovulate such as clomid. I've made the mistake of googling all the possibilities that could be wrong with me and scared myself!! But the best thing is just to have a positive outlook that everything will sort itself out naturally in time!!

Sam
xx

PS: My partner and I also have geography problems in that he works on a oil rig every 2 weeks!


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi Amanda and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of your problems with trying for a baby. You have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try.

Good luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

welcome.
            on this site you never need to be alone there is always people going though the same thing or has been through it. you can come on laugh cry moan and everyone knows exactly how it is. its hard when everyone around has children and friends anounnce there pg without even trying. but we get through it. 
              good luck on your journey x


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## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Thanks everyone for kind words.

I am sat here debating about phoning my mother to tell her about appointment tomorrow - but have not discussed it with DH so don't think its fair. However, DH away with work and feel that I need to tell someone how I am feeling. [fly][/fly] one word probably describes at the moment - stressed!

Sorry some of you must think I am daft - since I am only at beginning of journey. Sorry.

Amanda


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi Amanda,

Welcome to FF, This site is fantastic for support, advice and information.

Everything you are feeling is normal and you musnt blame yourself for anything. Has your DH had an SA test to check his sperm? You will probley find at your app they will discuss your results of your tests then arrange for some more investigations i.e HSG to see if your tubes are blocked or a lap and dye. They may also send you for a scan to see if they can see anything wrong with your ovaries.

Anything you want to ask write down. This way you wont forget things and if you dont understand anything then ask to explain further. There is nothing worse then coming out of your app, getting home and feeling like you still dont know anything. They are there to help you and DH so dont be scared.

The waiting can be a pain, especially if its nhs, but try take your mind off things, i know easier said then done, but it does help.

Keep us updated and make sure you have a good look round, and feel free to post anywhere you like, you will be made to feel very welcome

Huggles
Nikki xx


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## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Huni, don't apologise!!!  

Of course you are stressed.  Everything is new to you and with your DH away, the pressure on you is on with a vengence.

Just try and take it in your stride.  I know that is easy to say and I am the worlds worst worrier!!! 

You mite find that family support will be just the thing you need, but of course, it is a decision you will both have to make, and for the right reasons.

Hope the appointment goes well.  Keep us posted babe.

Love

Bib xx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Welcome to FF
It seems many of you who have posted on this thread a fairly new yourselves, So I just want to leave you a link to the starting out & diagnosis thread, you could also join the "loosing it ladies" on there for a chatter

Be sure to check out the G&B board for all things current & funny 

G&B - Community board
CLICK HERE

Starting out & Diagnosis
CLICK HERE

Meanings
CLICK HERE

~Dizzi~


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## Moggie012 (May 9, 2007)

Hi, 

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling under pressure at the moment, but don't think any less of yourself because of this, it is completely normal. There is so much information to take in on such an emotive subject, but never feel afraid to ask people to repeat information that you don't understand. 
I have often found that I have left consultations feeling that I haven't remembered anything, but after I have had chance to sit down and think calmly, I have taken in a great deal of information. 

My partner and I have different approaches to family knowing. He took the decision not to tell his family, so I respect this, but equally he respects that I need to be able to talk to my family. We knew that we would have difficulty conceiving when we first started trying, and for a while I didn't tell anybody. Eventually I explained to my partner that I cope differently to him and do need a third party to talk to. 

Good luck with everything and take care.

Moggie012
XX


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## johnson23 (May 12, 2007)

Hi, 

Thanks for everyones kind words prior to the appointment on Monday.  Apologies for not letting you know how I got on. BUT ... the appointment was fine, but while driving back down that night I had a car accident - I hit some bags of concrete that had fallen off the back of a lorry - problem was I was doing 40 mph at the time and basically the wheels on the passenger side of my car now no longer work!  The snags was it was 10pm at night and I was on my way to a course, 150 miles away from home.  The AA came to my rescue and low loaded me back home, I got there at 2am and then got up again at 4am to drive back to the course in hubbies car.  So yesterday I was shattered and went to bed when I finished for the day.

Anyway, the appointment went well.  As guessed they said DH needs a SA, they need to wait for my day 2 blood test results to come back but they did do a scan to check my ovaries were ok and told to come back with DH in a couple of months time.  

I did not tell my family, I decided that I need to talk that one through again with DH - on one hand I think I want to on the other (sounds daft) but I feel that I am admitting failure!  I don't do failure...... probably why I am finding this so hard. 

So now its a case of waiting and seeing.  Again thanks for listening to my ranting.
Amanda


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## waywardstork (Apr 30, 2007)

Hi,
Dont take it so hard that you are having difficulty TTC!  Remember, you are doing the all the rights things and admitting you may have a problem is in a way already a success!
It is not failure!  I know what you mean about deciding who to tell.  DH and I are deciding upon donor sperm at the moment.  We feel we don't want to discuss it with anyone yet - it will be a huge decision as to who we do tell if we decide to use donor sperm.  I see positives and negatives to telling family and friends.  You need to decided for yourself how much questioning you can handle from people and how much to tell them.  Each of us need to deal with things in our own way. Take time to think it through, discuss it with DH and then decide together.  Be positive! Best of luck,  
waywardstork


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