# my husband does not want another



## jules123 (Jan 15, 2007)

I don't know what to do, I have 3 children already when I thought I could never have any and I am so grateful for them that I really want another baby, I have always wanted 4 but my husband does not, he is worried about the money and how we would cope etc but should I just give up and accept his view or go ahead and take the drugs again?


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## jojo29 (Aug 27, 2004)

I am having the same with my DP, we have two beautiful children and all the family support DP's view that we should be thankful for two healthy children and especially as we have one of each we should stop at 2. I do not share that opinion, I always had 3 in my mind. My DP is 51 (I'm 35) so he thinks he's too old to have any more. Everyday I think about it, most of time we are talking about it, he knows I really want it. I've even bought a 7 seater car and we also have a spare bedroom so in my mind I am totally gearing up for no 3. I have to wait another year though on drs orders because of my 2 c secions but this time next year I will be begging/pleading for his agreement..I dont think anyone understands that urge other than women/mothers. I keep saying that I appreciate what he is saying but I cant bury what I am feeling, it has to be discussed. Hope you manage to agree in the end.
jojox


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## jules123 (Jan 15, 2007)

Thanks for your reply, it sounds like you are in a similar situation, it is so frustrating.  I tried to raise it with him again today and it always ends up in an argument and everyone in a bad mood, it really makes me feel like how can he love me if he doesn't want me to be happy.  He also says just be grateful for what you have and I am but it just makes me so sad that he is being so disagreeable.  I don't want to just leave it because each month that goes by and it doesn't happen I think maybe it never will. How do you manage to discuss it without arguing?


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## jojo29 (Aug 27, 2004)

We've been talking about it tonight actually, I think one born being on doesn't help!! I always pick my time, when I know he is not tired, under any stress so that he is calm when I raise it. Tonight it was in the context of going part time at work, I said this would be how I would like my life to be, "I persuade you to have another baby in two years-ish and then I take a year off on maternity and then go back part time so I can be with my babies 2 and a half days. He said " how are you going to persuade me to have another" I said I will cross that bridge as and when and he just nodded, so I left it there. I guess I just make small references so he knows it is important to me and that it is what I want, however when I am ready to get going it could be a different matter. I have friends who say what the hell, I am not telling him and if they get pregnant they will say it is an accident, although they are talking about no 2 not 3 so I dont think that's the answer for me, he'll see right through it!! I guess you just have to percever and pick you time to discuss! Let me know how you get on
jojox


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