# In panic mode!



## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

I have panel on Tuesday. 

Sometimes I feel calm and loving the time with my BD.
But then other times im a complete stress head.

I am thinking that they wouldnt have taken me this far to say no, but then other people have been this far and have had a no.

I was just wondering what the ratio/percentage of people who been to panel got yes/no?


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

we got a yes.   a good friend of mine on this forum got a yes. and old school friend got a yes, and one of mr c's work colleagues got a yes. one of the senior members of staff where i work got a yes. a school mum of my friend got a yes. a guy i used to work with got a yes. 

as far as i know thats all the people i personally know/know of who've gone to panel. no one has ever said they went and were turned down.

er, becky and steve in corrie got a no.

think this realistically means you wont be turned down if you've got this far. good luck!


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

oh, and of those people, three went to panel a second time, so had a child already like you, and got a yes again


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Agree with Katie!! X


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

I agree. All apart from 1 couple on our prep group who themselves pulled out got a YES so thats 8 a couple of months ago we had a la adopters new year party and there was a middle school full of people.  Its totally.normal worry u wouldn't be normal if u werent a bit.worried. I also think its a protection thing in that we all fear the worst because of our experiences.
U will be fine xx


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Good luck


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## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Everyone I know who was taken to Panel, received a 'yes'!

I do know of people who Social Services said 'no' to, but the 'no' came way before panel, either after initial visit, after Prep or during home study.  Never at Panel  

They invest huge amounts of money to get you to this stage, they will look for reasons to approve you!

I hope by now, you are suitably reassured  

Good luck and pop the champers in the fridge ready to celebrate  
X


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi Baby0684

I have panel on Wednesday and feel exactly the same - I am litterally having nightmares about going in and having a panic attack or being physically unable to speak   . Here's hoping we both get resounding yes votes   .

Love and luck from Kizzi  xx


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## VEC (May 29, 2007)

Huge good lucks to baby0684 and Kizzi

X


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Yes we have panel Tommorow and feel exactly the same especially as they have been questioning our BMI of 29 and were sent to the doctors on Friday. Not so worried about a no due to all the come above but worry they might delay us. Good luck to all going to panel this week.
Apps


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## sevsxp (Oct 1, 2012)

baby0684, we had 10 couples on our prep group, and all got a yes.... i dont think the LA would put you in front of panel if they werent confident on a yes, in our area panel places are hard to get, so they wouldnt waste one......

apparition , dont fret too much.... My BMI is way higher than 29, but as long as it has been going down, and you can show you are making an effort, and that although overweight, you are still active enough to be a "fun" parent..... you will have nothing to worry about....... we have adopted twice now, and on both panels my BMI wasnt an issue..... 
but if in doubt wear all black or turn up in a sweaty tracksuit and say just got back from the gym !!!! (only joking....!)


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

apparition, 29 is only in the overweight BMI band anyway. as far as i am aware i think they are only concerned if someone is obese/morbidly obese due to potential health issues


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## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

Thankyou guys for all the replies. Early night for me I think.

*Kizzi* & *apparition* good luck with panel. Let me know how it goes for you guys x


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Good luck for tomorrow Apparition and Baby - will be thinking of you      

Love, Kiz  xx


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Apparition good luck for tomorrow as well 😄


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## Theretofour (Feb 19, 2013)

Good luck xx


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Good luck apparition xx


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Oops finished too soon, good luck baby too xx


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## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

All that worrying.

I have been approved. Wasn't as scary as I thought. Was unanimous!

Yeah!


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Yeah well done hope your wait to be matched is a short one
Good luck to everyone else. Xx


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## Dreams do come true (Jan 4, 2012)

Congrats hunny x


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Congratulations Baby         

Love Kiz  xx


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Any news Apparition??

Kiz  xx


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Hi all
Congratulations baby!
Afraid ours wasn't so simple.
Got a YES, but only with the condition that we have to do respite fostering, initially we thought before matching but on later talking it may be while waiting for a match. SW said it could be a year our two before a child comes home.
The panel worried that we didn't have enough experience with children.
Focusing on the yes but disputed and frustrated by the condition.
Anyone else heard if this?
Apps


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Me next then - keep you fingers crossed!!!!!
Have never heard of that Ap - glad you got the yes, but sorry that you now have more things slowing you down <hugz>
Kiz x


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Ap not heard of that before but u might end up adopting the lo u foster. The last few years have really made me believe these things happen for a reason. Here is our story

Bubba would have been conceived when we were having our last ivf attempt,  born on hubby late nans bday (born early), taken into care day hubby dad diagnosed with lung cancer,  our approval panel delayed for 3 months as I had to have hysterectomy.  After panel sw wanted to see us in 2 weeks (we knew she had a match look on her face)  sadly fil passed away so 3 months stop on process.  Same match then came home end 2011. Court orders and final orders etc all also on significant dates. What I am trying to say is stay strong your lo is on its way and u will be mummy soon.xx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Ap, I ditto what aaa said. I truely believe things happen for a reason thought its often b****y hard believing that at the time.

We aren't as far ahead as aaa yet and lots can stll go wrong but here's our story:
Lo born on the day of my mums breast cancer surgery (she has a real tough time and ended up fighting for her life during recovery - she was fighting for his life he was being born)
His birth was registered the last day of her radiotherapy
We had a phone call the day after ap telling us about him - my Grampy's anniversary and a year to the day after fil was told he had 3 months to live - he's still alive, kicking and very much looking forward to cwtching his grandson
We are due to meet/ start intro a year after last failed treatment
His name is one of our favourites 
The night I met dh he had been to watch an away rugby match, that's where lo is from (ambiguous I know .  

What I am trying say is keep the faith lovely...your lo will find you xxx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Meant to say - fab news baby.  Woooooooohoooooooo xxxx
And kizzi best of luck xxxx


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Thanks aaa and flash
it is stories like that that really kep my spirits up.

I know our LO is out there somewhere.

When is your date kizzi? Best of luck for you both.

Apps


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Flash it really is truely amazing xx


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a unanimous yes           

Thanks for all your support everyone, Love Kiz  xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY (Oct 13, 2009)

Yeah congratulations hope u don't have a long wait x


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## Iced_Sliced79 (Oct 22, 2012)

Hiya,

I would say 99.9% get a yes if they have made it to panel.

In our initial enquiry we had to go outwith out LA as another co-ordinated the whole west of scotland infant adoption, we did the information evenings, prep groups and medicals then got knocked before starting home study as my BMI way to high and my dad had just had a triple heart by pass (at 63).  We left it 6 months then contacted our LA again to say my BMI was the same due to the stress caused by their rejections and to our amazement the 'system' had changed and our LA was doing their own infant adoptions.  Off I went another medical for their own medical board who were happy to proceed.

We were approved on 26.11.2012 and have Matching Panel on Monday to hopefully be approved for the match with a 15mth old wee girl   

As for the emotions, they are a law unto theirself, total roller coaster and all my friends who have gone through this with us seem to think that my roller coaster is worse than their 'actual' pregnancy hormones.

Everything crossed for you


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## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

Congrats Apps and Kizzi.

Apps Iv not heard of it before, but you just think to yourself it is a yes, and you will get there one day. xx


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Congratulations kizzi
Great news - hope you have a lo home soon.
Apps


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

apparition said:


> Hi all
> Congratulations baby!
> Afraid ours wasn't so simple.
> Got a YES, but only with the condition that we have to do respite fostering, initially we thought before matching but on later talking it may be while waiting for a match. SW said it could be a year our two before a child comes home.
> ...


We were told something similar, as we are both quite young adopters (32 & 30) our friends are only just starting to have babies so there isn't much experience to gain.
However the VA we are with have their own nursery and so we can volunteer to help look after the children and gain that valuable experience. Maybe it's worth looking for voluntary work nearby to improve your situation?

i have used the website http://www.do-it.org.uk/ recently to look for voluntary work that will fit in around my work day.

/links


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## LemonSponge (Jan 22, 2013)

Congrats baby, Apps and Kizzi, what great news to come here and read.

Apps, it does seem a bit harsh to say you don't have experience with children at this late stage - surely would have been mentioned during HS if it was a concern? The amount your learned at prep would have put you in a much better position than first time birth mums anyway! Not to feel too down though, because you got a YES and that is all that matters on the day. You are now so much closer to your dream family x


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Apps I am pleased it is a yes but I'll be honest that would make me livid. How can that only pop up now? If you knew then you could have done volunteering / looked after any one who'd let you kids and sorted it pre panel. Really hope you don't have to do it for long and your LO pops it's little head up soon x x


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## apparition (Apr 20, 2007)

Thanks guys.
Dh and I both volunteered as advised by SW.
I did the squirrels (baby Scouts) and hubby did beavers but apparently not enough.
Tell you more tomorrow - dh just made hot sandwiches
Thanks Apps


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## LemonSponge (Jan 22, 2013)

Apps, it's so frustrating that you both volunteered and still they say you need more experience! What more can you do, we don't all have nephews/nieces or friend's children to look after and ultimately there is a child waiting for a loving home that you could provide. Seems harsh to delay this even further.


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## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

Ok. feeling slightly edgy now.

I have a visit with child SW in a couple of weeks. I just have a feeling that the SW wont like me, or I will say something wrong.

Once SW has read your PAR what is the likely hood of them turning you down?


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