# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 2 2006



## ♥ M J ♥

New home ladies

please IM me with any changes to karens list

good luck

Mez
xxx

New home ladies

please IM me with any changes to karens list

good luck

Mez
xxx



KarenM said:


> New home. Good luck everyone.
> 
> Here's the list. I have removed the names of those who have not posted in the last 3 months as it was getting a bit mad to manage. I have saved their details separately though if they decide to rejoin us.
> 
> * Post matching *
> 
> *Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April 2004. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04. Legally adopted 21/10/05
> 
> *Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in January 2005. Legally adopted 31st August 2005
> 
> *Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005. Legally adopted 21st July 2005.
> 
> *Everhopeful*: Approved at panel in 17th Feb 2005, little girl moved in on 23/05/05. Legally adopted 19th December 2005
> 
> *Mandy* (MSW): Approved at panel on 3/3/2005, little boy moved in on 10/06/05. Court date to legally adopt Jan 2006.
> 
> * Superal* Adopted 3 year old boy 9 years ago and a 9mth old baby girl 4 years ago
> 
> * MummietoLottieandLilly* (Lilliana) Adopted 2 girls aged 12 months and 2 years 4 months in May 2005.
> 
> 
> * Post Panel/Awaiting Match *
> 
> *Nat* (Crazy): Approved at panel in March 2005, now awaiting suitable match.
> 
> *Ruth*: Approved at panel on 2/6/2005, now awaiting suitable match. Waiting to hear about a possible match
> 
> * LB *: Approved at panel on 15/6/05, now awaiting suitable match.
> 
> *Ang* (Molly 2003): Approved at panel August 2005. Matched to a 9 month old girl, waiting for matching panel.
> 
> *Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Approved at panel on 24/11/05, now awaiting suitable match. Waiting to hear about a possible match
> 
> *rianna* : Approved at panel Nov 2005, now awaiting suitable match
> 
> *Tracey H*: Approved at panel 23/11/05, now awaiting suitable match
> 
> * Val 12 * Approved at panel December 2005, now awaiting suitable match
> 
> * Shelly* Approved at panel December 2005, now awaiting suitable match
> 
> *Pam (saphy75) * Approved at panel 10/01/06, now awaiting suitable match
> 
> * Jude2 * Approved at panel Nov 2005. Matched to a 10 month old baby girl, waiting for matching panel
> 
> * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *
> 
> * Momo * Panel 27/03/06
> 
> * (Gill) gillywilly * H/S Oct 05.P/C Nov 05- panel 10th april 06
> 
> 
> * Home Study/Prep Course *
> 
> *Nicky*: Currently doing assessment
> 
> * JenniferF* Currently on home study. Panel 11/05/06
> 
> * Barbarella * Prep course completed, now on home study
> 
> * Magenta * Prep course completed, now on homestudy. Panel 6/4/06?
> 
> * Emcon * Currently on home study
> 
> * Laine * Interview 11/1/06. Home study Feb/Mar 2006
> 
> * Lauren * Currently on home study
> 
> * Milk tray * Just swapped LA
> 
> * keli haslem * Currently on home study
> 
> * keemjay * Home visit 15/11/05. Prep course completed march 2006
> 
> * waiting to be mum * started home study March 06
> 
> * Alex28 * half way through home study (March 06) hoping to go to panel June 06
> 
> * Lou W * Considering fostering
> 
> * Lisaw36 * Prep course 25/1/06
> 
> * (Chris) sussexgirl * Prep course Feb 06
> 
> * Donna Taylor * Interview 20/1/06. Prep course Feb 06
> 
> * Shi * Prep course Jan 06
> 
> * Kizzie * Currently on home study
> 
> * arniegirl * waiting for confirmation of prep course in April 06, CRB checks done, ref sent
> 
> 
> 
> * Initial Stages *
> 
> * Loubie37- initial interview 14/02/06- hoping to go to prep course June 06*
> 
> * Cindy * considering adoption
> 
> * Jo * Daring to dream
> 
> * Lulu/Lou * Considering next steps
> 
> * ellepotter * considering adoption
> 
> * *Jenny* * Info evening 16/01/06
> 
> * herbaltea * Initial interview 30/01/06
> 
> * leanne2005 * Considering Adoption
> 
> *EML * Considering Adoption
> 
> * nandp * Considering Adoption
> 
> Karen x


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## gillywilly

Thanks Mez for stepping in much appreciated!
We fingers crossed are of to panel 10th April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gill


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## rianna

A big hello to everyone.  Can you possibly put Rianna on the list.  I have been popping on to this site for quite a while.  We were approved last November and are now awaiting a suitable match.

Wishing everyone good luck in your adoption journeys.

Ps.  Can any of you give me some advice.  We were selected for a child who we unfortunately could not proceed with.  It was a really tough decision, and we were told it would not affect a future match.  If any of you have been in this situation can you tell me how long you had to wait before you were selected again.  I feel a bit like we are back to square one, not to mention the excitement of feeling like I was about be a mum, and then just having to get on with things...  I know this waiting is hard for all of us, no matter what stage we are at at.  I am still really positive, and looking forward to being a mum.


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## ♥ M J ♥

hi

gillywilly thanks for the warm welcome xxxx good luck for your panel on april 10th xxxx

rianna- have added you to the list- good luck and hope you are matched soon xxx


good luck all

hugs

Mez
xxxx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Rianna,

we were approached for a couple of children and had to say no for a variety of reasons, mainly because they needed a fulltime stay at home mom, and I'll have to go back to work at some point. But there was no delay in others coming through after that and now we're waiting for a matching panel date for a 2 year old little boy (nicknamed Boo), who so far looks perfect for us. I too worried about sayng no to the others, but am very glad we did now.

My advice is keep on their backs. They'll want to keep you in-county as it's more cost effective for them, but you are only obliged to remain solely in-county for 3 months, then you can look nationwide. Have they put you on the national adoption register yet?

good luck and i hope they fnd you the right match soon,
XXRuth


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## Ruthiebabe

advice needed......

I've been looking for bedroom furniture for Boo's room, and was wonderin if anyone had any advice on where to look. I like the idea of the midi height beds, and have found one that has a sort of wendy house area underneeth which looks pretty cool to me. Its also made to look like a fireengine....again cool! But would your average 2 year old be able to handle a midi height bed? Also would a themed bed be a bit OTT for a child coming into the house. 

I'm just wondering this cos karen mentions that her eldest didn't like the decor of her room so they changed it for her....not so simple if its the bed thou.....what do you think?

xxruth


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## Arniegirl

HI!
Hope all are ok! Karen, could you update my details on the list. We are now awaiting confirmation that we are on prep course in April, CRB checks done, references sent. 
Cheers, 
Arniegirlx


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## fiona1

Ruth,

I would not go for a midi height or themed bed. We looked into one for Elliot, but we wouldn't have been able to sit on the bed for a story. We also sometimes lie in bed with him for a cuddle. I guess when you get you little boy home he may need lots of reassurance and you may find it hard in such a small bed.

Fiona


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## kizzie

Hi Ruth - Id probably say no to the midi bed for now.  Most two year olds can just about cope with being in a 'big bed' rather than a cot.

bet you're really excited about doing the room  !!   
Kizziex


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## cindyp

Hi Ruth

I'm with Fiona and Kizzie.  I really like the looks of those themed midi beds, especially the fire engine one and I thought about it for our DS.  However we went with a plain pine single bed and I'm glad we did.  Fingers crossed Boo will be one of those children who sleep through every night as my DS was but there is nothing like a cold or other illness to send any man crying for comfort and you might find yourself like me spending a lot of time on your son's bed.

love

Cindy


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## Mummyof2

MJ - please alter my panel date to 11th of May as we have been put back .... again  

Ruth - I also veto the midi bed for now.  They look great and will be fine when he is 4 but not for now as sometimes small children tumble out of bed in the night or step backwards when they are bouncing on the bed - concentration is not great when they are 2    A midi bed could lead to all sorts of problems at this age    They do look great though and nothing to stop you getting one when he is older and can help in choosing the theme to his room.  

LisaW - so very sorry to hear that your mum has breast cancer - hugs to you all for the worry  

Cindy - I would like to meet up when I get my adopted child.  

We went to a meet the children evening last night.  Lots of videos of lovely children needing adoption homes.  I had to keep biting my tongue to stop crying and oohing and aahing as I watched the videos - I am such a softie    Two children might interest us though - one had terrible first year before being taken into care so might develop emotional problems later on with flash backs but ok at the moment, although prone to tantrums but that could be down to age.  The other was removed at birth as  got an inherited genetic disorder that needs close care and control.  With this close care and control the child will be perfectly normal in every way.  This disorder can be controlled by diet and medication but if not controlled will be life-threatening so needs close supervision.  Plus side is no emotional baggage though.  Both under 2 and both gorgeous, seemingly healthy children.  

Got to talk to dh whether to put our names forward as possible potential matches. Also need to do some research on the net about the disorder to see if we could cope as it is a big responsibility.  I would appreciate any thoughts to help us make up our minds, one way or the other?  Either pm or on here but obviously I cannot say more than I have about their histories.

My referee/guardian was supposed to be meeting up with sw today for her interview but sw's car broke down en-route so meeting was cancelled for now.  Same sw meeting with my mum on Monday so I hope she gets her car sorted before then!

All the best

Jennifer


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## Ruthiebabe

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY EVERYONE!!!

thanks for the advice re-beds.....think I was getting a bit carried away. It's difficult to know what to expect of a childs capabilities when you don't know them. When we were watching the video of boo in some way he looked older than 2 and in others younger. I guess I'll just go for a standard bed now.

Jennifer the first child you described sounds like they've been through the same stuff as Boo. We also were given details of a child with genetic disorder, althiugh  it sound more severe than what you decribed. For us, we felt we would cope better with emotional stuff than physical stuff.....each to their own I suppose. You could enquire about both and see what happens. Even though it must be a real pain to have your pnel put back, at least you knwo they have children waiting in the wings, so you shouldn't have to wait too long after panel.

cheers,
Ruth


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## Mummyof2

Ruth - thanks for the advice.  I appreciate it


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## superal

Hi everyone

Have been trying to catch up with every thing & failed!

DD is still not right, she's not been back at school since Tuesday, she is  a lot better now though & going to Ju-Jitsu in the morning, sh has asked to go.

Hi Ruth......our DD has only just gone into a cabin bed & she is 5 years old, until then she was in a toddler bed, might be worth checking with FM what he sleeps in now.

Jennifer..........sounds as though you had a good night at the open evening & the possibility of 2 children out there show you what children come into care who require a forever Mummy & Daddy.  Good luck.  Sorry about the panel date again!

Nat's..........good to see your still posting on these boards, hope that dam phone rings soon for you! 

Milktray,,,,congratulations on getting your invite to the prep group, another step closer.

Hello to everyone else.

Karen..........hope things are OK with you.

TFN
Love
Andrea
xx


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## Loubie101

Hi, can you add me please?!

We had our initial interview on 14/2/06 and we're hopefully going on our prep course in June 

Thanks


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## Barbarella

Hi Everyone... just a quickie to keep in touch... sorry I can't read through the last thread.  I've been so busy at work the past 2 weeks (crisis weeks) and have been struggling to get adoption stuff finished (just fine tweaking today and it will be in the post by Monday).

Am on holiday next week.. going on canal boat trip with friends, so really looking forward to that. 

Sorry can't do personals.

Love and luck to all....
Cxx


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## keemjay

hey all 

well we've officially finished the prep course  we didnt get to meet our sw, she is new and hasnt started the job yet!! apparently she is experienced tho, so not a total novice thank goodness - i have to admit my heart sank at first..i wanted someone who knows the ropes..'new' to me immediately meant 'slow'! I'm wondering if we might get a different one tho..we have a sensitive issue with a member of dh's family who we will need to keep any children away from (sorry dont really want to go into detail but you can prob put 2 and 2 together..) which we told the senior sw about at the end of the prep course. the way she reacted made me wonder if she might change us to someone who's been with the LA a bit longer.we shall see... it def doesnt exclude us from adopting  but its def going to be an issue...

oh and we've had our medicals - doc says all is fine and dandy for us both  

the adoptionuk support group was good on tues, even tho dh said it felt like going to a swingers party  ie only details were 'meet at x and x's at 8pm' and the address...anyway it was all fine, no funny business at all! lovely to meet people who had adopted and there were some others just starting out. they meet every other month and it all seems very sociable. will def go again 

ruth - i'm with everyone else..def keep the cabin bed for a bit older...

andrea- hope dd has turned the corner now - what a horrid bug she's had!

jennifer - the meet the children evening sounds very emotional...any decisions yet?

right dinner calls

love to all

kj x


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## gillywilly

Hi all

Kj well done for finishing the course bet you feel good another box ticked hope its not long before you meet your sw.

Jennifer the information evening sounds interesting any more thoughts on the children.

Barbarella - sounds like we are similar point our paperwork is being posted Friday and panel 10th April.

Hi to everyone else on this bright sunny Sunday.
(This time 2 weeks I will be in Texas!!!!)

Love Gill


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## Boomerang girl

howdy! well we are on for may panel (2nd May), and are now off to mothercare tobuy the bedding, buggy, car seat etc.  Bluewater here I come!!
we get more photos this week, apparently strawberry's foster carers want to send some every couple of weeks now so we don't miss anything!!
Lisa I am so sorry about your Mum. My thoughts are with you are your family. Ruthie- its so exciting choosing isn't it?
strawberry has been in a cot until now, so we are starting with a cot bedour friends re giving us andwill hopefully drop the sides off pretty soon after she settles.

kylie
x


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## ♥ M J ♥

afternoon ladies

have updated the list on page 1- hope i got it right- if any thing changes can you let me know (if i have got your info wrong)

hope your all doing well and enjoying your sunday

hugs

Mez
xxxxx


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## Ann

Hi,

All is quiet in this house as the girls are asleep so I get a couple of hours to myself    It is so hard to keep track of everyone - even though this is a new thread!!!
Kylie you must be soooo excited I remember it all so well - I am often at Bluewater so if you fancy meeting up for a coffee (and a Krispy Kreme doughnut!!) sometime that would be great.
We seem to be free of coughs and colds at the moment but I know as I type it I am asking for trouble!!  Our eldest is due to start at pre school after Easter   I know she needs it but it has come around too quickly - hmm so much for all is quiet.... I can hear someone sneaking back down the stairs - cheeky monkey!
Hope everyone is enjoying there weekend 

Lots of love Ann xxxxxxxxxx


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## Mummyof2

Hi everyone, well, after talking things through with dh we have decided not to put our names forward for either child.  The genetic problem was too great a responsibility to take on for us and, as well as other reasons re the emotional problems, we both felt that as the other child's colouring was not our family colouring, the child would not fit in and people would always know the child was adopted.  Whilst that isn't something we plan on hiding, nor do we want people to know at first glance either.  I feel a bit shallow but dh says we have to choose a child that feels right for us and someone else will be thrilled to bits that we have not decided to proceed with either child, as it frees them up for someone else who is the right person for them.  So thanks for the help and thoughts.

We will just hang on until our panel date in May and then see what children we are offered then.  Everyone talks about the panel as though it is a foregone conclusion.  Hope we are not being lulled into a false sense of security that we will pass  

All the best


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## cindyp

Hi Everyone

Jen, I think you've made the best decision, you have to be sure that what you are doing is right for your whole family.  It's not an easy decision to make and I understand what you mean about feeling shallow.  I felt like that when we went through the forms saying what we would and wouldn't accept but you have to be realistic about what you can take on.  It's hard enough taking on another child (especially when we're not in our twenties any more) let alone one that has problems.  Like you say the right child will come along.  As for the panel in May, they don't normally put you forward unless they think you're going to pass, you will be fine.

Ann, nice to hear from you again, pre-school?  Where has the time gone, it hardly seems a second since they came to you.

Kylie, enjoy the shopping, I can particularly recommend Mothercare's portable change mat.

Gill, I'm not talking to you because you're off to sunny Texas and I'm incredbly jealous.   

Kj, congrats on finishing the prep course and medicals.

Barbarella enjoy your holiday.

Andrea, sorry to hear you've been suffering with poorly children as well but it's good that she's on the mend.

Hope everyone else is well.

I've posted my news on another thread.

love
Cindy


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## Nats

Can I just say...

Its our anniversary today!

This time a year ago, we had just been approved at panel...

I hope im not posting this and saying its 10 years today!
 

Sorry couldnt resist.......

Natsxx


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## naoise

Hi ladies

Nats lets hope this year is the one for you. 

Jen I hope you don't feel too bad about your decision, you can only do what is right for you and your new family and it is a major life changing decision after all.

Ann I hope your little one enjoys pre school

No news from us really our sw is coming on Friday so am looking forward to that. I had my work dinner on Saturday and suffered a bit yesterday, will I ever learn.  this will all change when the children come.

Hope all the bugs and sickness are on their way out.

LOL Keli


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

had a rather eventful weekend. Went to watch rugby on saturday, stuck dinner in the oven, went to our local and just as the match finished (ireland beating england....hurray) DH felt really ill. initially i thought he was sulking (he's english) but we left and then he collapsed outside the pub. Had to call an ambulance etc....very scary. H'es fine now, nothing on tests, they just think his blood pressure dropped from having a virus (cold and guts) during the week. But once he was in safe hands, do you know what my major concern was......i hope this doesn't affect the adoption......what a really great wife i am!  

then last night my uncle phoned from Oz, he lives right in the town where the big cyclone hit last night. As we were chatting a big tree hit his house taking his car his roof and 3 of his windows. Spoke to him this morning and he's fine, but I'm now waititng for the 3rd accidnet/event to happen.....

otherwise nothign to report. SW comign out in 2 weeks to give us the forms we need to fill in.....looking more like may rather than april for panel now. oh well.....

Kylie....2nd of april! you must be so excited. have you got all you introduction meetings planned then?

hope everyone else is well!
XXRuth


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## rianna

Hi to everyone.

Mez - Thanks for adding me to the list.

Ruth - Thanks for all your good advice.  I feel more positive now.

Hello to everyone else.

Love Rianna.


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## superal

Hi everyone

Thanks for all your good wishes about DD, she is much better now & went back to school today, much to her disgust at getting up early this morning, she has been enjoying her lie ins, I must admit to liking them as well!

Some lovely news on here at the moment, Cindy don't let age put you off PLEASE! I'm 40 next year & if it weren't for DH putting his foot down about having another child then i would be on the phone to our SW right now! 

Ruth - your not a bad wife, I would have thought exactly the same, in fact my DH injured his shoulder at Ju-Jitsue just before we got to meet our DD & I went mad at him for damaging his shoulder saying that SW will put the date of us meeting her back & if that was the case I wouldn't speak to him, so NO your not a bad wife, I was much worse!  (SW did not put the meeting off, they thought it quite funny that some one so big could fall so hard, you know the saying the bigger they are the bigger they fall!)

Hope everyone else is OKAY.

TFN
Andrea
xx


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## Boomerang girl

hiya all- wow- what an eventful weekend ruthie! haven't checked out the cyclone info yet (I am an Aussie and have family and friends scattered all over qld). glad to hear your dh is okay.

our panel is may 2nd not april 2nd. still not that far off! found out today- paerwork deadline is 13th april, we still need to do the chronology and meet with our sw before the date to sign all the support plan etc.  introductions planning meeting is A.M. on the 10th May (I finish work on the 8th and our wedding anniversary is the 9th). we meet strawberr on the afternoon of the 10th and the plan is for her to be placed with us on the 22nd May.  God I am so excited!- we have done lots of shopping- everything is being delivered over the next couple of weeks, so we will do up the room over the easter school holidays and do the pics and video then all ready for panel.  It was a really good feeling putting in my application for adoption leave today! hurrah!

oh ruthie- I saw a fire truck bed in the boots additions catalogue the other day which looked like it had quite high sides like some junior beds do- just in case you are interested.


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## jilldill

Hi All,
We had our last visit with the SW today which seemed to go very well. Our Form F is looking pretty good, though of course I have nothing to compare it with. Everything is done now except 2 forms which still have not come back they were sent in October! If they are not there today we wont get to panel in April, I have everything crossed!!!
Love Jill x


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## keemjay

kylie 22nd may is a good sign cos its my Birthday  

kj x


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## alex28

wow!! lots of news!!!

keemjay - hope visit goes well on Friday.  hope the handover is gone too!!!

Jill - phew! last visit eh!!!  Hope the forms got there in time??

Kylie - HURRAH!!! Bet you are soooooo excited!!!!!   to have all dates as well, thats must be exctiing as well as scary as the same time...... hope time passes quickly for you both. xx

Ruthie - poor DH - hope he's feeling ok now?

We have our 4th SW visit on Weds so wondering what this one will be about??  read what one of our referrees wrote about us yesterday and it was all soooo nice and totally backed up what we had told our SW about events in our life etc etc.  We are looking after their children from tomorrow for the week so may not be around much but wanted to wish you all a lovely week and hope you all get the news you have been waiting for.

xxx


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## everhopeful

Kylie

WOW!!!! How exciting for you!! And May 22nd? Well, it's the day before our anniversary! Monday 23rd May 2005 is when we brought our daughter home! Seems like a lifetime ago now!!
Wishing you lots of luck for your intro's - I don't know if you've been warned how tiring they can be, but boy! we were shattered after each day and needed the nighttime to re-charge! Quite an emotional and draining time, so I would get as much rest now as you can, because believe me, once she's home you'll never get another lazy sunday morning!!! Enjoy it!

Ever x


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## Boomerang girl

thanks ever- yes our sw has told us we will be totally knackered during the intros- dh was planning to keep working nights for the first couple of days, which the sw thinks he will just about cope with, but hopefully i have talked him out of it.

my focus now is getting everything finished off at work- and the build up to easter is always stressful due to easter concert, end of term paperwork etc, so that should keep me busy for the next two weeks. then I am TOTALLY going to make the most of two weeks off the sleep in, do the garden, mooch about, decorate strawberry's room and do the video/intro book. fun fun fun!


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## gillywilly

Hi all
Kylie - thats wonderful news you must be floating at the moment!! Good luck with all your preparations!!! 
Alex - again hope babysitting goes well.
Jill - hope you get forms off in time!!

Here we got our completed Form F last night and have finally meeting tomorrow night before its posted!!! Panel on 10th April looks a strong thing but still being cautious!!!

Hi to everyone !!

Gill


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## Lauren

Wow - so much news since I was last on here - don't think I can keep up with everyone!  But great that theres so much good news.  

Kylie - you must be on cloud 9 at the moment - it all sounds soooo exciting!  What a great Easter you are going to have getting everything ready and making the most of your last few weeks of peace and quiet!

Alex - good luck with the babysitting.  Hope it all goes well and not too tiring.  We had our 4th meeting with our SW last night and we talked about our parenting capabilities and touched a bit on family life.  All went well but after every session I have to sit down with dh and totally evaluate the whole thing cos I'm paranoid I've said something wrong/bad!  One sensitive issue we did touch on was smacking children as a form of discipline.  After dh had admitted that he did very occasionally smack his 4 children when they were younger SW told us that our LA deem smacking as a huge NO NO!  I was thinking oh god that's it for us then but she did go on to say that personally she doesn't have anything against it but just best not to include that in our Form!  We also touched on sexual abuse and how we were planning to protect our child from this which was a bit upsetting but unfortunately that is the way of the world nowadays.  


Gill - fantastic news that you have finished your Form F.  Good luck for your final meeting.

Ruth - sorry to hear about your dh, hope he is on the mend now.  Don't feel bad about worrying about the adoption - I'm pretty sure we would all feel exactly the same.  My dh had to have some tests done on his liver a couple of months ago and all I could keep going on about was how worried I was that it was going to mess up our adoption!

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all doing well.

Lauren xxx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi Nats,

just read your post about your anniversary. so sorry to hear youre still waiting.  

i think we must become experts at filling in time having gone through this process. One of the other threads some of the new mummies are taking the plunge for the second time, so here's hoping that once our little ones are home all the negative parts of the process go out of our heads!

xxruth


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## Nats

Hi Ruth...
I know, it sort of took me back when I saw that they were going again!...seeing as I was here when they first went through!.. 
It makes me feel part of the furniture tho!  . So kind of special!

You have been waiting near enough the same time as me havent you?...I must admit, I am used to the waiting now and I know that we will have a match at one point...what I think is funny...our SW said, make sure you keep up with everything and read a few adoptions books etc....then in the next breath..she says...just get on with your lives and forget!.
We decided ...on the latter   

Glad  to see so many on homestudies and nearing the end of thier adoption journey!

Anyone going to the Nottingham meet at the weekend?

Natsxx


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## cindyp

Hi Ladies

Nats it is a shock to realise that it's been that long since you went to panel, the time has flown in quite a few ways.  Hopefully you'll be getting the call soon like Ruth, but I'm glad to see that you're making the most of your free time.

Ruth, sorry to hear about your DH, I wouldn't beat yourself up about your initial thought, I would have been exactly the same.

Kylie, not long until 2nd May, just another 6 weeks shopping   

Gill, less than 3 weeks till panel, that's great news.

Alex, glad to hear the home assessment is going so well.

As for me, I've definitely taken the plunge, I was walking past the LA office and decided not to wait and called in with my DS (you know I'm going to give him a nickname Bruiser, like Strawberry and BooBoo   ).  I saw a very nice SW who I'd not met before who said that that she thought it was great that we'd decided to go again.  She's going to arrange for the paperwork to be posted out so that we can complete our application in writing.  Bruiser arrived the day after my birthday last year so hopefully I'll have another baby for my birthday next year!!

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## jilldill

Hi All,
Spoke to my SW today the 2 forms still aren't back but she says we have waited so long she has submitted our forms to panel anyway and we will be going to panel on April 3rd! I am still a little anxious about it due to to the forms but she thinks it should be ok. 
Hope everyone is doing ok and things are moving however slowly in the right direction!
Take care love Jill x


----------



## magenta

JillDill,

Congratulations on getting the 'go ahead' for panel.  Hopefully your papers will arrive in the next week and it won't be a problem.  Remember - they wouldn't take you to panel if they didn't think you were ready/that things would be good.

We have still to sign our Form F becuase it had to go back for re-typing at our last meeting (a month ago).  But I think we will just pop into the offcie after work next week and sign it there.

Soooo happy for you!!

Magenta xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi JillDill,

we nearly missed our panel last year waiting for paper work. In the end it was our NSPCC checks and medical forms. So i took the job out of my sw hands and got them sorted myself. WRT nspcc checks my Sw believed you could only correspond with them in writing, and they only had one phone number..the 0800 one that kids use in emergencies!  

So I looked up the number on the internet, spoke to someone there and they put me straight through to the person who does the checks. So I went back to our SW with a name and direct phone number. She was amazed.......to cut a long story short....don't be afraid to take some of this stuff into your own hands. no matter how crap you are at organisisng things you will be 100 times more efficient than SWs.


good luck,
XXRuthie


----------



## jilldill

Thanks Magenta and Ruthie,
I know what you mean about taking things into your own hands Ruthie we rang the CRB several times before finally getting DH's police forms back.
Hi to everyone love Jill x


----------



## Mummyof2

jill and cindy -      well done.


----------



## Lauren

Jill - congratulations on your panel date.  Hope all goes well with getting your forms back.  Are you going to attend panel yourself?  We have been told (when we finally get there) it would be good for us to be there so just wondered what other peoples thoughts/experiences were.

Hi to everyone else.

Lauren xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody!!

Just had visit from the sw, which went really well, she went into religion a lot with us today, as we live in Northern Ireland that is more relevant to us here than it would be in England, but I thought I would ask how many more visits would have and she thinks three will do. And that we will hopefully be going to panel in July. And we can attend if we want to. So it is getting more real now, and I can't contain my excitement, I just want to go shopping and buy lots of stuff 

Jill well done on your panel date. Hope all goes well.

Magenta sounds like you are just about there!

Ruth sorry to hear about your dh, I would have had the same reaction you just want everything to run smoothly I think it must be human nature.

HI to everybody else

LOL Keli


----------



## keemjay

Lauren - we were told that under the new guidelines we HAD to go to panel 
and people at the support group we went to said that its a good idea cos if they want to ask you anything specific you are right there to answer the questions. if you're not there and they cant get an answer to a question they feel is important than they might well defer you....


----------



## gillywilly

Hi Lauren
We are going to panel on the 10th April and my sister is having a wedding blessing in Texas so we wont be aT panel. Our sw checked and that is ok! Our authority is also being inspected!!! So inspectors will be at panel really feel for our poor sw!!!! We are the only couple going for approval this month! Will let you know if it was ok
Jill hope forms are back and u can go ahead.
LOve Gill


----------



## LB

Cindy

congratulations on taking the plunge again 

LB
X


----------



## Barbarella

Gill... I had to laugh at your post... my Mum's name is Gill (she gets called Gillywilly) and her birthday is on 10th April. I hope that date brings you lots and lots of luck. Yes, we're not far behind you, a few short weeks. EEEEKKKKK !!!! Will check on your progress, lots of love and luck. C xxx    



gillywilly said:


> Barbarella - sounds like we are similar point our paperwork is being posted Friday and panel 10th April.
> 
> Hi to everyone else on this bright sunny Sunday.
> (This time 2 weeks I will be in Texas!!!!)
> 
> Love Gill


----------



## KarenM

Just quickly poppig in I am so exhausted with all the work I've got at the minute I've been falling asleep on the settee most nights.  Thanks to Mez for tending to the boards in my absence.  I will be back properly soon.

Good luck to all of you who have panel in April - Barbarella, Magenta, Gill and Jill

Molly - good luck for Monday I am sure things will be fine

Cindy - great news on taking the plunge again.

Hi to everyone else.  Off to write the next contact letter for DD's BP's.

TTFN

Karen x


----------



## everhopeful

Just wanted to say a very Happy Mothers' Day to Karen (nice to hear from you!), Ann, Cindy, Mandy, Andrea (Superal) and Lilliana - and anyone else I've not mentioned, who's lucky enough to be in my shoes this time of year (my very first mummy's day!).

And to all of you who are still waiting, let's hope this is your last!

And for you girls (Mollie, Kylie etc) who are so very close... believe me, this moment is worth waiting for!

Whatever tomorrow brings, hope it's an enjoyable day for everyone

xxx


----------



## superal

Thankyou ever for the Mothers day wishes, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you as well.

I just wanted to add to evers message to everyone else who is celebrating this day & tell those of you who are still waiting your time will come & this time next year we will be adding a whole list of new names to those of you with your family.

I hope everyone has a nice day.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Awwww thanks Ever and Andrea... I so hope next year I'm in the hot seat... it's been soooo long.

Happy Mothers Day to you both, and Karen and everyone else who has their little ones now.  You are all an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to everyone else.

Love C xx


----------



## cindyp

Karen, glad to see you're surviving, just.

I'd just like to say that I hope all you Mums had a good Mother's Day and that it won't be long until everyone else is celebrating theirs.

My DH took bruiser boy shopping for my Mother's Day card and although he tried to steer him towards flowers and teddy bears my DS insisted on a particular card.  I'm a bit worried as it describes a Mum as a Taxi Driver, Hotel Manager, Nurse, Lost Property Recovery Service, 24 Hour Laundry Services, Waitress and Chef.  If he has this opinion of me when he's only 2 what will he expect when he turns 16!!!!    

Still waiting for the forms to come from Social Services so that we can apply for No 2, if they don't come tomorrow I'll chase them up as it has been a week since I contacted them.

love to all
Cindy


----------



## LadyMoonlight

This is something I have to ask although I'm sure its been asked so many times before.

How hard is it to be approved for adoption?

What sort of things are you "failed on"?

I am 34 with a partner who is 11 years younger than me  - we want to try for our own child for a few more years but to be honest I have no hope of it ever happening, and as we are not going to be able financially to fund private tx, our 1 NHS "go" at IVF is all we have to look forward to.  There is a three year waiting list and I don't hold out much hope for a one-and-only cycle in three years time when I will be 37!!

I have been thinking of the future and adoption is something I am much more comfortable with than surrogacy (which my partner won't even consider as the idea of another woman carrying his child upsets him too much.  I have to say I'm glad because it would upset me too!)

But I can't see them approving us - we both work but have very little money, my partner is younger than me (I left an unhappy 10 year marriage to be with him and love him to pieces though!), I have had problems with depression in the past, and as I've said, there is a 3 year waiting list for NHS IVF so I will be 37 by the time that is tried and finished with, surely all these things would result in us being rejected as suitable adoptive parents, even though we (and our families) are bursting with love to give to the right child (whom nature sadly and cruelly is denying us).

What are others' thoughts?


----------



## superal

Hi Ladymoonlight or Kate as we know you by that name!

First off all can say well done you for getting out of an unhappy marriage & bagging your self a toy boy in the whole process 

The adoption process can be a hard one, it does bring up questions you may feel uncomfortable talking about but thats part of the process of accepting that you won't have a biological child and are moving on to have a family of your own which ever way it may happen.

I don't know of any reasons why people are rejected for adoption but of course people are.

Have you been in touch with any social services to have a chat with a social worker or at least request an information pack?

3 years waiting for your "one" chance at IVF does seem unfair but ask yourself A) Do you want to wait all that time whilst you could be going through the process of getting approved & waiting for your ideal match or B) Do you fell if you don't give IVF a go you'll regret it for a very long time.

Only you can answer question A or B & which every one you answer with the full honesty of yourself & your DF will give you the answer to move forward.

I hope that makes sense, I know what I'm trying to say but it's not coming out correctly! 

Good Luck
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Kate, my husband is 8 years younger than me   and I am 45 years old.  Neither of these facts precluded us from adopting.   

Re the depression, I think that if your GP says that it is behind you now then you are ok but obviously I'm only guessing at that.  I know they used to be much stricter about that years ago but I am sure it is more relaxed now.  

Re having very little money, you get all sorts of financial help from tax credits, working parents tax allowance, child care vouchers, child benefit, other benefits from the government plus you can apply for an adoption allowance (which is means tested) from social services.  

As far as I can see, you will be able to apply to adopt when you feel ready, so don't worry and good luck with the IVF.  We tried it twice but then no more funds stopped us continuing.  

Oh and just one more thing, you have to wait a year after any fertility treatment before applying to adopt and then the adoption process itself takes around 1-2 years    

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## Suzie

hi

sorry to butt in but just wondered if some of you could help me with something 

On the adoption/fostering board there is a thread about books 
I work in a library and have been told i can write a list of up to about 50 books on adoption/fostering/ children in care etc/ issues surrounding it etc and the librarian in charge will purchase them for the library 
So need some suggestions 

thanks
suzie xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hello olive,
we were given reading list by our LA. if you PM me you address I will send it to you. I seem to recall I had your address years back from the chatroom? but have lost it sorry!! I am a "read-a holic" so know which ones Ihave found useful. itwould prob be a case of going for multiple purchases of the bestones. my SIL is purchaser for a london library- top job she puts forth ll the best dvds and we see loads on pre-release!

kate- we though adoption would be something we maybe considered after LOTS of tx. dhis azoospermic and me born to be a mum (as we all are on here) we actually bothstarted thinking early on about adoption. we had lots of tx options leftincluding nhs but it just seemed right. we have also "survived" me getting depressed so don't worry too much.

ever- sooooooooooo lovely to read about your mummys day!!..and thanks for your good wishes.  bit of a hiccup for us this week- nothing to do with us, just something that caused a safety concern for SS but all sorted now.  

on a professional/personal note just spent all day involved in a social services child case which brought it all home to me. bit overwhelmed. 

can I ask a favour? canI be known as "Boomer" rather than "K......" to those of you who know me?

cheers,
boomer
xx


----------



## Lou W

Boomerang,
Hello hunnie thanks for the reply about the books - would you mid terribly putting them on the sticky topic in this thread so that we can all use it as a reference? Hope that's ok chick! If not dont worry. 
Sorry to hear you've had stressful day, hope you are feeling a bit better now. 
Take care hunnie,
Lou W XXXX


----------



## naoise

Hi ladies,

We haven't got much to report we have finished our homework for next week ages ago and sent off as it was quite hard going this time and we wanted to do it while it was all fresh in our heads.
Our sw has interviewed two of our refs already, and she told our mil that things were moving along well and quickly and that they were pleased with how things are going so that set my mind at ease. I have ordered a book that she has recommended so am looking forward to that arriving!


Ruth am I right in thinking that it's your birthday!!  . I hope you have a good day!

Boomer I hope you have a less emotional day at work today.

LOL Keli


----------



## keemjay

boomer - we had a list of recommended reading too...if you post a list i can add on any that might not be on yours....
we have our first homestudy session with our sw on Monday  

nothing lese to report - except spring cleaning in preparation for mon, and intensive dog training to ensure Caleb doesnt jump on SW!!

kj x


----------



## superal

Happy birthday Ruth.....hope you have a lovely day.

Boomer............new name noted!! 

Hi to everyone else, sorry not got time to do to many personals today but you know I'm thinking of you all!   

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## gillywilly

Hi
Just wanted to do a post before we head off to Texas in the morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of hugs and squeezes I will miss you all!!!!!!!!

Hope to rejoin you in April as an approved adoptive parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love Gill


----------



## superal

Have a good holiday Gill, I'm sure your panel will be fine & when you get back just think of that exciting news.


----------



## LadyMoonlight

Hi Jennifer, Andrea and Boomer and thanks for your replies! You have given me some hope that adoption might not be a closed book if and when we start that journey.



superal said:


> 3 years waiting for your "one" chance at IVF does seem unfair but ask yourself A) Do you want to wait all that time whilst you could be going through the process of getting approved & waiting for your ideal match or B) Do you fell if you don't give IVF a go you'll regret it for a very long time.


Andrea, I was asked this very question by DF's stepmum last weekend, and I think it would have to be B. I think I have to take any chance I can at having a natural child for myself and my partner. I wish I was one of those women who says they just want to be a mother and don't care about pregnancy/birth and the child being biologically theirs, but I am not. At 34 and never having conceived even once it is something that I yearn for and perhaps am not ready to give up on totally.

The problem is that our chances of natural conception seem very very low. I have never conceived in 10 years (even with my ex although he was glad of that as he didn't want children and refused to go for fertility testing) and now we find out that I have endometriosis, a cyst and adhesions and my DF has a lower than average sperm count, so its not looking good. If we had the money I would have as many treatments as we could, as I notice that many women, especially endo sufferers become pg after their 3rd 4th or 5th IVF. Unfortunately the money isn't there - we cleared out our savings on the deposit for our house, we both got into debt with previous partners and have bad credit ratings so no loans and our families are either unable (mine) or unwilling (his) to lend us the money. Our 1 NHS attempt will have to be it and I just can't see it working. Endo sufferers have apparenty a very low percentage of success with IVF even though some are lucky. But like I said, it seems to be on the 2nd or 3rd attempt which we won't be able to have.

It hurts me so much that it all comes down to money.

I am just looking to the future. I think it would take me time to grieve for the baby we will never have, the pregnancy and birth I will never experience (can't even imagine what its like!). But once I had come to terms with that, I would liketo move onto something constructive like adoption. My DF is still full of hope and beleives we will have a baby of our own one day, so he doesn't even want to talk about adoption yet. But after such a long time of never conceiving I guess I am more realistic and want to think about the future.


----------



## superal

Hi Kate

I just want to say well done to you for making what is a very hard decision but it was only you & your DF who could make that important decision & I think you are right to have a go at IVF because you never know & if you don't give it ago you may regret it for years to come.

I totally understand how you feel although IVF was never an option for us & we took the adoption route, if we didn't then we wouldn't have our 2 lovely children with us today & I thank my lucky stars that we have them.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Ladymoonlight - I just wanted to say huge hugs to you for the sadness in your post. my dh has sperm problems so I know all about the pain of trying for something you desperatately want and despair when af comes every month.  Dh and I went down the assisted conception route a few years back and spent £8.5K on treatment and are still in debt 3 years later, paying it off.  Anyway, this was not supposed to be a me post.  I just wanted to share with you that you are not alone in feeling as you do.  

Huge hugs to you and your toy boy and I really do hope that you get your longed for child one day - miracles do happen so don't give up.  

Have you looked at the marilyn glenville site (do a google search)?  She sells vitamins tablets that do improve sperm (well, they improved my dh's as he used to have low count as well as his other sperm problems but since taking these tablets he has a high count) but they are expensive at £25 per month.

Bye

Jennifer


----------



## alex28

hope everyone is doing ok?

Kate - welcome to the site!  Hope your IVF works out for you but you know you are more than welcome to come back and join us here should you need to!  

Gill - said it on CRM but hope things go well - i know u have gone now but will be thinking of you in a few weeks time - approved mummy to be!!!!  

Andrea - hi - glad your weight loss is going well - keep it up girl!  

Laine - how's things?  Have not heard from you for a while?  Hope HS is going ok.  

KJ - good luck for monday - things will be fine im sure!  

hope everyone is doing ok?

Well we had our penultimate HS visit a few days ago, however our final one has been delayed.  A couple were meant to go to panel last week but the council were on strike so their panel date has been delayed to our last visit date so SW will obviously be going with them so our date has been pushed back a week which is fine.  We have been very lucky having such an easy going nice person to talk to.  We have had no homework to do and i dont think she is going to interview our referees either    would not bother us if she did though as they have all said nice things about us!!

After this visit we will then have a Health and Safety visit (want to see our car insurance & MOT documents to make sure cars are insured and safe etc!), plus we are having to fence in our garden in one place to make it more secure - we had planned to do this anyway but gives us a push to get it done before her next visit now.  Then she has a month to get our Form F written and thats that!!!

Oh we went thru the YES/NO/Limited questions the other day - funny how things change in what you are prepared to accept etc, we actually answered yes or limited to things we thought no to in the beginning and actually said no to other things which intially we felt would be ok - after they explain to you the repercussions etc of having a particular type of child it makes more sense to you.

anyway, waffling on again, hope everyone has a lovely weekend - think its gonna rain down here but never mind i can get on with tidying house, etc etc.

love to you all.  xxx


----------



## saphy75

Hi guys just popping in to say hello, no news from me i'm afraid!!!

still going crazy waiting for that important call saying a match has been found 

take care guys and have a great week end

pam xx


----------



## fiona1

Hi,

We think we have finally gone and done it and taken the plunge. We have decided to end treatment and concentrate on adoption (Concurrent Planning) We have filled in the initial information forms and sent them off and are awaiting an invite to an information evening.


Very exciting.

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona  = Have sent you a personal message!

Well done on taking the plunge, lets hope things move along quickly for you.

I can not believe it but DD is ill again with the same thing as last time, a high temperature, she is now dosed up with Nurofen & Calpol & sleeping in my bed!  Her teacher told me today that nearly every child in her class has now had this virus.  I'm on my own this weekend as DH has gone away with work & all she wants is her Daddy, usually all she wants is her Mummy but because DH is not here, that's who she wants.



Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## wynnster

Hello All

I'm not sure where i belong on this site anymore so thought maybe i'd pop in here, if you'll have me?

I wont go into the history of tx as it's in my profile, we're just really unsure of the road that lies ahead.... I was going to post on the Moving-On thread but then I cannot face the thought of Living Child Free, so dont belong there. 
The decision we're having trouble making is whether to continue with tx or head straight for adoption?  

How do you know when to stop tx and go for adoption?

I have no objections to adoption at all and neither does my DH and i dont want to sound selfish at the thought of making it all sound so second best, my thoughts are purely selfish ones i feel but how do you know that once you've adopted the feelings of needing your own child will go away? Do they? Ever?

My head is just going round and round at the moment and i just dont know where to turn....

The post i have read sound so happy of having made the decision to adopt a child but i wonder when you get to that point, surely there is some sort of grieving for the biological child you'll never have?

Kim x


----------



## TraceyH

Pam

I know exactly how you feel.  The wait is the hardest part.  We have only been approved since the end of November so we haven't been in the system long really but it is still hard waiting for the phone to ring.
I have recently subscribed to BMP and that tugs on your heart strings but you never know our child might be in there.  I am not sure what the success rate is.

We are trying to occupy our time with other things but everyday I wonder if we will hear anything. We have to have all out details transferred onto the new version of the Form F, but our SW assures us that our original Form F will still be valid in the meantime.  We have recently reviewed our limitations list and the new one doesn't seem so long.  We changed quite a few things from No to Yes or Maybe (although they call it 'will discuss' now).

Good luck to everyone going to Panel shortly.  It really isn't as bad as I thought it would be although on the morning I was so nervous, only natural I suppose.

Best wishes to everyone else.

Tracey


----------



## Viva

Just wanted to say Hello,
My husband and I have what will almost certainly be our last appointmet with our consultant on Friday this week to officially get the results of my Lap and Dye, we think it's extremely unlikely that he will say surgery is an option as my adhesions are extremely extensive, so even if we went down the surgery route, I'm sure our chance of success would be very limited! The more we think about it the more excited we get about the idea of adoption, we know it's not an easy road but it just feels right for us, I don't know if I could cope with going through surgery and then the waiting each month to see if by some small chance I might be pregnant.

I have contacted a couple of adoption agencies and whilst our local social services information sent looked that it had been put together soley to put you off adopting, we had some great info and wonderful 30 minute chat with a social worker and an invite to an information evening (17th May) from a voluntary agency, which has made us feel even more excited nad encouragred.  

We have even strated to discuss with some our friends and family our thoughts around adoption and almost without exception people have been incredible positive, both with adoption as an option for us and in tellin gus about other people they know who have aspoted and how happy they are (which is lovely as we don't personally know anyone who has adopted!)

Kim, I just wanted to say Hi as I guess we're at similar stages. I think that inevitibly there is greiving for having a biological child of your own, I know for me it has felt like a series of bereavements, when I didn't initally get pregnant at the drop of a hat like my friends, accepting that we should have investigations, accepting that if we were ever to have a child it would no doubt be with lots of help and not naturally, and also all the times that other people get pregnant and you're left wondering why not me?

I think to be honest I'll always feel a little sad that I am very unlikely to have the experience of being pregnant, giving birth and holding my own child as a new born, but for me and DH the overwhelming feeling that we have that we want to be parents at this time in our lives is stronger and adoption is the option that makes us feel most peaceful.I think it's realy important not to put yourself under pressure and give you head time to sort it's self out it will do, and remember that what ever decision you make, if that's right for you and you boy then that's got to be good.

Kate, just wanted to say Hi as I've also seen you posting on the hydro board, adhesions and endo and all that stuff are so frustrating aren't they, I'm sure that you'll come to the decision that is right for you. I do think that time is really important and everyone reaches decisions at different speeds but I'm sure you will acheive your dream of being a mum, whether that comes through IVF or adoption.

Love to all
Viva
XXX


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi all,
busy putting strawberry's room together at the moment- lucky I now hve two weeks off so can get started on it!

Pam and Tracey I hope you get that special call soon. x

Kim- I think I had really got over the "wanting" a biological child before we started the adoption process. Its not the same for everyone but that is how it was for us. We got so used to the disappointment and just thought even if we did get  bfp- how would we cope if I miscarried?  I think we were very accepting of adoption right fromthe start as we had dealt with one of us not being the biological prent in counselling (we were using donor sperm as dh was azoospermic).  but even though we had accepted it, we just got more and more positive about adoptive parenting throughout the process- especially once we did the prep course and met other couples- at which point we felt so much more "normal".  Now when my preg friends talk about their woes or impending births etc- I actually breathe a sigh of relief I am not having to go through it- it sounds wierd but its true! no painful labour, no 9 months of worry about the baby, (hopefully) a few less sleepless nights and once you have been matched you know exactly the age and gender you are getting!  everyone (well nearly everyone) will be overwhelmingly positive and supportive. the expectant grandparents will be just as enthusiastic about your new arrival, if not intent on treating them just that little extra bit special as well, and at the end of the day it made perfect sense. I want a child. I want to be a mummy and dh wants to be a daddy- we want to go fromcouple to family. and somewhere out there we knew there was a little one lready waiting for a mummy and daddy- who needed a family!  I used to fear my child rejecting me for her birth mother inyears tocome, but now I know If I am honest, open and supportive she may well wish, and need, to make contact but this is not a threat to my relationship with my child- we will have our own special relationship and I may well wish I had given birth to HER but I doubt I will wish I instead had a biological child.  SHe will be so loved and cared for and encouraged and we will cherish every moment even when we are actually tearing our hair out during toddler, and teenage tantrums. I struggle to think of how Icouldbe going into parenting in a more informed, excited, prepared and confident way as I am through adoption- and that is all thanks to our LA, our network of friends from the prep course who we meet with every six weeks, my online friends from FF and FZ, and everyone we know and love who have been behind us 100 percent since we told them.

Sorry to get a bit emotional and to a Gwyneth Paltrow Oscar- winning type post, but its all true- once you have made the decision to adopt and stop tx, a huge weight is lifted and the only way is up emotionally (she says naively 6 weeks before the reality of parenting kick in!)

Kim I hope that might help you understand how you could be feeling once you get stuck into the adoption process.

right I'm off to the mothercare website to buy a mattress for the cot bed for my miracle little girl who is soon coming home to us.

boomer
x


----------



## lisaw36

I haven't been on for ages but just wanted to back up what Boomer said.  I have had 3 mc (2 from natural pg and 1 from IVF) and they were a terrible time.  I was at the stage when I dreaded getting pg.  3 lots of IVF with 2 bfn were another time for grief.    Every time I lost a little bit more heart about the idea of having my own biological child.

Moving on to the adoption process lifted us mentally and physically - it was just such a positive thing when we made the decision.  In fact, the only negative thing was waiting 6 months to contact the LA (their rule) but now I can understand that that was to make sure we were ready and maybe it was a good thing in that way. 

I am sorry ladies that I haven't been on for ages.  My Mum had breast cancer which was a real scare for my family.  Luckily she was whipped into hospital within 3 weeks of diagnosis and the lump removed.  She has to start radio therepy but she is doing great and, even says she feels like a fraud for feeling so well!  She is also receptive to the hormone treatment so the risk of the cancer returning goes from 15 pct to 3 pct - so we are all really positive that she will remain clear for quite some time to come. 

We have now been approved to adopt by our LA and been allocated our SW.  She is coming to see us on Tuesday to check our legal documents, birth certificates etc and get details of my ex husband who she must contact.  I have already spoken to him - we met for a drink (very strange after 11 years) and he is happy to help so he should not be a problem. 

I am coming on to read everyone's posts but don't always have a chance to respond at work and when I am home I have been involved heavily with Mum.  

Anyway must go as the house needs a few tweaks to make it suitable for SW status!! 

Love
LisaW
xx


----------



## kizzie

Hi everyone - just a couple of little updates from me.

Our Sw got a letter yesterday saying that the agency's medical advisor has recieved all my reports and is more than happy to recommend us. Apparently she says she has no concerns at all. The SW kept telling me she didnt think there was anything to worry about but its such a relief to get the confirmation. Feels like a bit of a  . Agency now definately tying to get our Form F all sorted for panel at end of May.  

Also DH and I have been talking about a little girl who's SW *MIGHT* be interested in us once we've been to panel. (According to our agency) She is a little bit older than we originally thought we would adopt but we've decided to keep our options open and ask to see more details. We've been told that nothing will happen with her for at least another month which is no problem because we cant do anything till after panel anyway. All starting to feel very real now and feel a bit scared about all the choices but excited at the same time.!!!!

Hope you're all having a good weekend!

Kizziex


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Ladies

Little update from me.  SW came over to sign off our Form F on Friday... she said it looked fantastic and she was really happy with it.  She is very excited about us getting to the next phase... we are so lucky to have her.  It was really strange reading about us, but it was actually quite nice having a kind of record of our lives.

My ex-dh finally came through with the reference, although SW said it was like extracting teeth.  Not for any untoward reasons, as the reference was fine, but he used to be bad at paperwork.. seems that hasn't changed in 10 years.  Ironically, she said his wife was very helpful...LOL.  Women stick together!   I was pleased that I didn't have to speak to him, it's been so long, I didn't want to drag my past life into my present...!

So, 3 weeks to panel now... really excited and looking forward to it.

Good luck to Jill for Monday and to Gillywilly for the 10th.. (easy to remember, my Mum's birthday, who is called Gill!).  Hope you are enjoying yourself in Texas.

Just wanted to say to Kim, that I mirror Boomerang's feelings.  The further you get into the process, the more you let go of the want for a biological child, and I thought I'd never get over not being able to get pg and feel a baby grow inside me..I honestly thought I would rather die at one stage than never to experience that.  After all the doubts and worries, even just before we started our home study, we now feel so privileged and honoured to be adopting.  We realise that our experience of infertility and made us the kind of people who can adopt, and not everyone can... and we can't regret that.  Of course we'd still love to have our own bio child at some point, but we have stopped holding our breath for that... if it did happen, it really would be an unexpected surprise, but we're really not expecting it to happen. 

I think you have to go through the doubts, and worries about this process.. it's almost therapeutic and essential to the "letting go".. but it does happen. I am surrounded by pg women at the moment, and for the first time in 9 years, I am not jealous... in fact, I feel for them.. that they are not experiencing the liberating experience that we are in the adoption process.  Anyone (ironically) can have their own children... not everyone can do this.. and I make no apologies for feeling special in doing so.

Just ride with your feelings, and you will certainly "know" when the time is right.. and all the doubts disappear.  Well.. that's how it worked for us.. nothing has ever felt so right for us (except our wedding day) in our lives.

HTH...

Love and luck to all...
Cxx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

KJ - Hope everything goes well for you on Monday.  Let us know how you get on.

Gill - Hope you are enjoying Texas  

Kate - Wishing you luck with the IVF.

Alex - Can't believe how quick your HS has been and with no homework too.  How come your referees are not being interviewed?  I thought that was standard practice? Any idea when you go to panel?

Fiona - Good luck, look forward to sharing your journey with you.

Pam & Tracey - Hope you get that call soon.

Kimmy - Hi there hun!  Nice to see you posting here.  I have to echo what the others have said to you about knowing when the time is right.  It will come to you one day when you least expect it.  Let us know what you decide to do.

Viva - hello and welcome to the thread.  Are you going to the open evening on May 17th?

Boomer - New name noted!  You sound so excited    So thrilled for you.

Lisa - Sorry to hear about your mum.  Wishing you luck with HS.

Kizzie - Great news on panel for end of May.  Everything crossed for your potential match too.

C - Good news on your Form F, any idea when you go to panel?

Jennifer - Is your panel date in May?  

Andrea - How is your dd?

Hi to everyone else.  

We are still doing HS and have another visit tomorrow.  Thankfully all our homework is completed.   So all in all everything is progressing nicely.  

Laine


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## Boomerang girl

oh brill news girls on all of you finishing homestudy and close to panel! x

Lisa I have been thinking of you and your Mum lately and am glad she is doing okay- excellent news that you can start the home study now!!  I look forward to meeting you at adoption UK meetings soon!!

am absolutely knackered now. DH made up the cot bed- it is beautiful! so I put the beddingin, and dh built the other furniture for the room, all Ihave to do now is paint the room. grrrrr. I wish I had a dh who liked painting!  I think I have the horrid virus thats been going round my school for two weeks having everyone off sick. Now Ihave itfor easter hols and can't be bothered to do anything, including the painting OR my chronology which Ihave tosend to sw on tuesday. whoops.


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Laine

Yes, we go to panel on the 27th April.... if no hiccups..

Thanks for asking...

Cxx


----------



## Viva

Hi Laine,
Thanks for the welcome, yes we are planning to go to the open evening on 17th May and we are very excited about it too! Just need to tie up things with the hospital, the more we talk about it the more that DH and I know that really it's only a case of thanking them for what they've done for us and telling them that we've made our decision and want to move on with adoption. Am really hoping that as we've made the decision that adoption is our first choice (now we have all the information in) to have a family that we will be able to apply following the open evening, we know it's likely to take months and we really want to get started!
Love Viva.
XXX


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Welcome to the newbies.  Just popping on to hae a quick look at what you are up to.  Have uni for 3 days this week and I am still on this project (finishes next week).  I'll meet myself coming back before too long.

Hopefully by easter I'll be able to get back on line and devote my time to the board more.

Take care all and good luck whatever stage you are at.

Karen x


----------



## alex28

Laine - our Sw says she covers it all in the meetings!!  Re referees she said she would only visit if she felt it were needed - ie any contradicting information in what they wrote in comparison to what we have told them!  We have a panel date for last week in June - she told us this on her first visit - so quite exciting that we have something to look towards.  Just last HS visit and health and safety visit to go now!!  then the stress and waiting really begins i expect!!

Cant quite believe that there are sooo many of us going to be approved over the next 6 months

Do you guys ever organise a meet?  GIll lives nr me and we have said about meeting up at some point.  catch up soon!


----------



## naoise

Hi girls
Alex I see what you mean about us all soo close to being parents it is really hard to believe that we are all nearly there. I have been looking at the mothercare website and looking at all the equipment we are hopefully going to need soon and it makes me want to burst wth excitement at the fact that I am going to have to buy so much and it isn't a present for someone else. 
Viva welcome to the site all systems go for you  
Laine I hope your hs went well, how many have you left?

We have a visit on Thursday and we have just received more homework in the post this morning so we are going to be busy tonite.

LOL Keli


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

been away for a week up in scotland for b'day. had a lovely time, and thanks for the b'day wishes! We treated it as our last couple-only trip, so sank a cocktail or two!!

got a meeting with our SW tomorrow and she's bringing the forms we need to fill in for matching panel. Not sure when it is yet, but will hopefully find out tomorrow.

I keep forgetting what boo looks like and then i take a look at his photo and i am always surprised at how cute i find him, no matter how many times i look.

looks like everyone else is getting on well. Sorry about your mom Lisa, but her prognosis sound good! My MIl fell and broke her hip last week, but they've oinned it and she's home alreayd, so while it was a scare, it all seems to be healing well.

nothing more to report. will let you know if we gat any news tomorro,w

pS in relation to meeting up maybe we could organise a picnic in the summer or something?? I'm in oxfordshire, but know we range in distance from magenta up in scotland to  fiona in guernsey, to keli in NI and alex in somerset. 

xxruth


----------



## kizzie

Alex - thats really interesting about referees.  Our agency insists that the SW always meets ALL referees plus any immediate family members (parents/siblings etc.)  So for us this has been a huge long list of people and has made it all quite complicated.  

Amazing how different all the agencies/LA's are for the same process.

Kizziex


----------



## Boomerang girl

hey ruthie, maybe if she is seeing you tomorrow you panel might be sooner rather than later- we could be panel buddies! (we are supposed to be the 2nd of may)
very excited for you, and glad you had a proper grown up break. mmmmmm. cocktails!


----------



## superal

Hi everyone - just popping in to say hello & catch up on everyone's news.  It's really exciting reading how everyone is getting on & what stages people are at, so many newly approved parents waiting to do intros, newly approved  & not so newly approved (Nat's ) parents waiting for their special match & so many going to panel very soon.

Boomer - how's the decorating going?

Molly - I bet your so excited, not long now.

Ruth - nice to hear you had a good last couple break, when do you get to meet Boo?

DD is now fine again Thanks Laine for asking, it's just a virus which is going around & unfortunately our DD has had it twice now.

DD had her first meeting at Rainbows tonight, I've got roped into helping!  

TFN
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Guest

Hi all

I don't post here but I read very regularly - its great to read about all of the wonderful developments and the fact that you are going to be mothers soon  

I just wanted to say to Kimmy - when you gaze across a room into your child's eyes for the first time and it lasts a fortnight  - (shivers up the spine of any of you that have done it no doubt )

the first sleep in their own bedroom, the first smile, the first "mummy", the first arms up for a cuddle - I can promise you that it feels no different to me than the one I gave birth to - in fact it caused me a lot less incontinence  (tmi  )

The "letting go" thing to me is about stopping wondering if I missed out on something by not carrying my daughter. Do you miss out on an experience of motherhood?  I believe that you miss the physical sensations yes but does it make a difference to being a MUM - absolutely not. My being a Mum is so much more than feeling the kicks and movements. The only reason I even gave IVF any consideration was because we could not adopt any more  (typical me - the other way round!!)

Where ever you go with this - you will be a fantastic mum    

I wish you all luck 

Witch x


----------



## sanita

Hi 

I've been reading these boards for a few months and wondered if you would be so kind as to accept another new member into your fold.  I used to post on the cycle buddies board when I was going through ivf last year, but I have now changed my user name to something more anonymous. DH and I have been ttc since 2000.  We had one cycle of ivf last year, which I hated, which resulted in a bio-chem.  We decided in February this year that adoption was the way forward for us.  I can't tell you what a relief it was to step off the infertility treadmill.  Since then things have moved very quickly.  We had an initial meeting with our agency last month, submitted our formal application a few days ago, we have our medicals today and our referees have all been contacted by letter.  We are due to start prep groups next month and our agency runs prep and HS concurrently.  My head is spinning with the speed of it all.  I certainly can not accuse my agency of being slow off the mark.  I am a bit worried about my medical this afternnon as my blood pressure has been borderline high just recently so I'm trying to have a relaxing morning.  I look forward to getting to know you all.


----------



## saphy75

welcome Sanita

Witch, it was sooo nice to read your post you seemed to put into words all my fears but then told me the good out weighs the bad by far thank you so much (((((hugs)))))

pam xx


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## magenta

Just popping on to say hello - not had time to post much recently and not much news to share.  panel is tomorrow and i am actually getting LESS nervous the nearer it gets.  i suppose it now seesm inevitable - either they want us to be parents or not.

Anyway...wishing you 'good luck' and 'lower blood pressure' to Sanita for this afternoon.  I know exactly what you mean - i was soooo nervous before my medical my BP was probably higher than normal just with the nerves.

hello to everyone else - can't chat long as I am due at the clinic in 2 mins for my weigh in and healthy lifestyle class.  hopefullly i can give this up if we are approved - it is a right pain in the neck having to prove that i know how to live a healthy lifestyle despite being v overweight

Thanks for all the kind wishes on my thread...really appreciate it and wil post tomorrow afternoon when I find out and get home.

magenta x


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## jilldill

Hi Sanita,
Welcome to the board it is lovely to have you hear. You will find it very useful and a great sorce of comfort and friendship writing here. It is great to hear you are moving along quickly with the assessment some people do have a nightmare so lets hope it continues for you. I passed panel on Monday and we have Magenta at panel tomorrow and Gilly Willy soon so it's a busy time.
Lovely to meet you Jill x


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## Boomerang girl

welcone sanita and good luck with the medical!


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## alex28

Welcome from me too Sanita, and wishing you all the best....


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Boomer,

looks like we're almost matching panel twins! We're going on the 4th of may!!...still a month away, but not complaining, as at least we have a date now.

yikes better get painting!!

have you had your introduction planning meeting? Our SW think we're not supposed to have it till after panel, whereas on the last visit she thought it should be before we went to panel...?? 

xxxruthie


----------



## Mummyof2

Magenta - hope the weigh in went ok and wishing you lots of luck for panel tomorrow.

Laine - we go to panel on 11th of May.

Sunita - welcome to you.

My sw rang yesterday to say that our Form F is almost compiled and will be sent out to us by registered post, shortly.  She asked me to do our family tree and post that back to her asap as she forgot to ask us to do one    Luckily I found that you can do one on genes reunited and print it off and so it looks nice and professional - costs nothing as well    All my referees have been visited now and all has gone well.  Social worker seems to think that panel is a foregone conclusion and we should have a child placed with us November time   so I have started to tell people (not close friends and family who already knew obviously) that we are adopting.  Everyone has been very interested and said things like well done so that was nice.

All the best to everyone

Jennifer


----------



## wynnster

Hi Everyone

I just want to say a HUGE ThankYou to you all.

You've all posted such wonderful responses and what you've all said is really what i was hoping for  

We still have to wait for our Follow-Up Appointment on 25th April and will give it a couple of months of serious thinking (as our last tx wasn't even a month ago) before we do anything but we both think we're about 95% sure this is the next path - strange how a couple of days can make the difference but we're actually starting to feel excited!!!  

One Question - I know you have to wait a period after tx before starting the adoption process but can i contact the Agencies within this time or do we have to wait 6 months before picking up the phone?

Thanks once again

Kim xxxxx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Andrea - is Rainbows the one before Brownies?

Ruthie - great news on your matching panel date, so exicted for you.

Alex - not long until your finished.  It is funny how the LA's differ on lots of stuff.

C - 27th is not far off, bet you feel exctied/nervous?

Keli - not sure how many visit we have left.  Hope to tomorrow goes ok for you.

Viva - May 17th will soon come round and you will be starting your new journey. 

Karen - sounds like your course is keeping you busy.

Witch - hi there!

Sanita - welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.
How did your medical go?

Jennifer - do they have a child in mind for you?  glad all your paperwork is in order.  Notice you mentioned Genes Reunited, are you into Genealogy?

Kim - I don't see any reason why you cannot enquire and ask for an information pack.

Hi to everyone else.  Hope you are all ok?

We have our health and safety check during our next home visit.  Also need to make a start on our family book.  

Laine


----------



## saphy75

Laine making the family book is soooo much fun, i didn't know where to start but once i got started i had to stop myself going from over the top 

have fun 

pam xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Everyone,

A quick up date from me & Poohbear.

We had our last visit from Poohbears SW last week. She came round with his life story book. It is great to have some info to share with him as he grows up, and some pictures too. I also had to do our first contact letter, it was not as hard as I thought. I am glad it is done now, it is another milestone on this amazing journey.

Poohbear has really been testing the boundrys this week and expressing his own personality, it the only way a 19 month old can (hee hee) not that I am complaining. Being a mummy is hard work but just the best feeling in the world especially when he gives you a great big smile or a hug and kiss.

We are off for a visit with his very special FC tomorrow. She has just moved on another baby and has been told she will be getting another one next week!!

Magenta good luck for panel tomorrow.

Welcome to the gang Sanita.

Saphy great idea about a chat room.

Look forward to chatting soon. 

Poohbears Mummy.xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hiya- ruthie our panel date is 2nd May and the introductions planning is on the 10th- we meet strawberry the same day and then she is set to move in 12 days later- so they kind of pre-plan it, all working on those dates. then on the 10th in the morning they go through all the details and work around any unchangeable appts etc. so I have given notice and finish work on the 8th may (1 year's adoption leave). the 9th is our anniversary, and as dh will be sleeping (he is working nights) I am gonna book a manicure, haircut, etc just to really spoil myself and make the day go faster.

our LA does things "their own way" and generally the introductions are started days after the agency decision maker has rubber stamped stuff. great if all goes well, but if there is  hiccup we'll be stuffed!

PB mummy good luck riding out the challenges. kids can be very stressful when testing things, but also very funny- it can be hard to keep a straight face sometimes. not long nowuntil pooh's christening. you must be so excited we want to hear all about the day you have planned.

laine have fundoing family book. we are doingours next week as they make you wait until you know the age etc of the child so you can tailor it to them- I am in a bit of a panic about it to be honest.

seeya later, magenta good luck for tomorrow
xx


----------



## sanita

Thank you all for the lovely welcome.  I am pleased to say that DH and I's medicals went well and the GP has written us both up as fit and healthy.  So that is another thing that has been worrying me silly off my mind.  Not expecting much to happen now until we start prep at beginning of May.

Boomerang girl - how exciting for you.  What a lovely time you must be having.  I'm sure I'd be too excited to sleep at night.

Poohbears Mummy - nice to hear that you are enjoying being a mummy and that Poohbear is rewarding you with lots of cuddles.

Laine - Health & Safety check?  I think I might come a cropper there.  Hope yours goes well.

Kimmy -  I think all agencies are different.  Ours wasn't bothered about a time gap, they were more interested in knowing how we had come to our decision to adopt.  Closing the door on fertility treatment and walking away is a big thing to do.  We are all very different and I felt liberated by our decision and was able to convey that to our SW during our first phone call and also during our initial meeting.  Our agency is being very efficient, but I understand that they are not all like that.  When you both feel ready, pick up the phone and make a few calls.  It may be some weeks or months before they are able to meet with you anyway.

Jennifer F - Well done on getting to the stage where the end is in sight.  I shall remember about genes reunited for when I get to that.

Magenta - Good luck for today.

Sunita xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hey sanita,
great to hear you are sounding so positive and excited, glad the medicals went well.

don't worry too much about the health and safety check- its not a test you passor fail, they just identify any modifications you will need to make before placement. ours sailed through with the comments "standard child- proofing measures" which means we just put in cupboard locks, stair gates, plug socket covers etc, relocating medicines and chemicals. we are lucky as our garden is all fenced in and we have no pond.  the sort of things our friends have had identified are:

guard for around the agar (although in reality most kids will touch it once and never again!!)
cover for the pond/pool
enclosing the garden with fencing
fire guard

in addition if you have a pet you will hve to do a pet assessment. our LA let us fill it allin, then checked it for accuracies.

hope that is helpful
boomer


----------



## superal

Hi Laine - have fun doing your family book, it's really great fun & like Pam said the hardest bit is knowing when to stop.  Rainbows is the one before Brownies, girls age 5 - 7 years, DD really enjoyed it & wants her Mummy to become a leader.  I quite fancy the idea as I have been a beaver leader (Not that kind for all you dirty minds out there! ) before & only gave it up when we got DS.  Girls have to be easier than boys don't they?

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Boomer - we didn't have a pet assessment check on our dog and 3 cats.  We were told it was only certain breeds of dog ie on the dangerous breed list that had to have a pet assessment check at a local vet, the cost of which we would have to pay.

Laine - no they don't have a specific child in mind so I was surprised they could be so specific with their timescales - probably be delayed knowing them but thought it wouldn't hurt to get people used to the idea we are adopting.  We do our family book when we have a specific child in mind so we can tailor it to age group and sex of child.  I have already got a winnie the pooh folder, coloured card and winnie the pooh stickers in anticipation but done nothing more yet.  Yes I am interested in geneology but it is a frustrating topic as I don't get very far as all of my grandparents are dead and so is the wealth of information that they had.

Sanita - glad the medicals went well.

Hi to everyone else.

Jennifer


----------



## Ruthiebabe

quick question.....do 2 year olds generally do colouring in? niecey does but shes nearly 3 and a girl...they do develop differently don't they!?

am doing our intro book for Boo, and found some colouring-in pics of his fav characters and was going to put them in so the book is kinda interactive....you think it's a good idea or a bit too much?


----------



## naoise

Hi girls
Magenta hope all went well today I am sure it did and you are both out celebrating.

Sanita glad to hear your meds went well today.

PB mummy sounds like you are having a great time.

Are visit went really bad today, our sw came in and we just knew she had other things on her mind and she forgot half the stuff she needed, then she got a phone call and was gone for about ten mins, then when whe came back in the kitchen she was crying. OMG! we hadn't a clue what to think. then she had another call and had to go again. When she came back she explained that a foster carer had said she wanted the three kids in her care out of the house the oldest being 7 and the youngest being 1. She was devasated and didn't know what to do. so we had to call it a day with very little done. Although we don't mind when it is something like that, I just can't get the poor children out of my head now. So hopefully our next visit is less dramatic. Although our good news was that our panel date is 20th of July, so now we have a date to work to. So that can only be a good thing.

Hi to everybody 

LOL Keli


----------



## Boomerang girl

gosh keli poor you- and those poor kids- and you poor sw! I guess it does show us the other side to their jobs doesn't it? they must have so many awful things to deal with!  great you have your panel date, and hoping next meeting goes a bit more smoothly!

jennifer we didn't hve our pet "assessed" at the vets- but it is standard practice for a personal assessment (by us- the adopters) to be made, which might flag up any concerns. it was very easy to complete, and sw said it was fine- its if you start describing a dog very different to the one they see etc.  the questions were quite informative in themselves- there were no suprises- more trying to give people the idea not to do anythin unhygenic like leave dog poo around inthe garden or let cats eat/walk onthe kitchen benches- we may laugh but apparently some people do (and to be fair in the winter sometimes I only clean the garden every other day, but I know I will have to get my act together once strawberry is here).  they also worry more, like you said, if it is a dangerous breed, or if you have three dogs or more as apparently they can start to develop a pack mentality which could threaten a new member of the family.

It also asked questions which made you think about how you will introduce the pet to the child, if there would be a problem with a child bringing pets with them (ours is a springer and lets just say a rabbit or hamster might not be a very good idea!!).  The first social worker also said having a pet can be a bonus- a well cared for, healthy pet suggests responsible people, and some children really want a pet (lucky for us strawberry loves dogs and our dog loves little kids).  enough waffling on!

ruthie- big pics are good- little ones of two will have a good scribble over themwith crayons- not too much detail inthe pics would be best i reckon?  I thinkits a lovely idea.

Strawberry's foster mum suggested we laminate the pics so she can encourage her to "kiss mummy and daddy good night" aww. that killed me!!


----------



## superal

Hi Ruth - working with children I can honestly say that most 2 year old will just scribble over a picture, sometimes its really hard to get some of the children we look after to even do that.

It's a brilliant idea though & shows you have thought about what Boo likes.  You must be so excited.

Keli - sorry to hear your meeting with your SW didn't go according to plan.  Hope everyone concerned is OK! 


Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Feeling a bit despondent today TBH.  Last week, we had a really positive visit from SW who, IHO, signed off the Form F saying it was "fantastic" and she felt we'd be exceptional adoptive parents.  Talk about being on a high.  She said she would be shocked if the Adoption Adviser came back with any problems. 

Anyway, called today, and she had to ask me some questions that the AA brought up.  Really silly questions, like "why did your Mum and Dad live in Florida"?  "What do you get moody about"? (as I said I was the moody one of me and dh.. seeing as he is so consistent in his mood)... "Are you close with your brothers"?  I just found it all so ridiculous.. as if any answers to those questions would stop us from adopting, and also they were all in the Form F.. the SW knows us so well.  Anyway, so I answered them amongst others and she said that it just further emphasised how great we were for this job.  

Anyway, then she said they'd need to see another referee (we go to panel on the 27th), because one of my referees they deemed as a friend because we're not related, but she is my brother's ex and has my nephew who I am close to.  Now the AA has said that she is classed as family and they need to see another friend.  Now they have 6 glowing references, have 3 glowing interviews and 3 of my friends have sent in glowing references because they wanted to contribute.  So why on earth do they now need to see another referee.  

Dh and I just feel that they have squeezed us dry and now want more when we've given so much.  It just seems like they are concentrating on the wrong people.. when there are monsters out there who get away with so much.  I know they have a job to do, but surely this is taking it too far?  Would appreciate some thoughts because we are just feeling so drained now.  

Anyway, I'm sure we're just feeling tired from it all... and work is manic for us both at the moment so our only time together is taken up by the adoption stuff we've had to do.  The end is in sight I know, but it still seems like a distant dream. 

Anyway, just wanted to say welcome to Sanita.. and well done on the medicals.  It's funny how they all do things so differently, we had our medicals done later in the process.

Boomer and Ruthiebabe - very best of luck for your panels on 2nd & 4th May.. so interesting to see how it all works.. and even more exciting that the end is near for you.. wonderful !!!  

Best of luck to everyone else in the process.. 

Love C xx


----------



## keemjay

aw Barbarella you sound so fed up in your post and i can see why...sounds all very nit-picky to me  all i can say is just keep your eyes focused on the 27th..you're gonna get there..you've put your heart and soul in to the process and done all you can do, and if they want to make more work for themselves then so be it....
i hope pounding out your frustration onto the keyboard helped a bit and that you wake up tomorrow refreshed ... and one day closer to the goal 

kj x


----------



## magenta

Keli- sorry about your meeting.  But good news that you hage a panel date to work towards - and it isn't too far away which is great.

barbarella - I am sure we have all had meetings,phonecalls, emails from sws asking questions that we have already answered.  it is just one of those things in the process and I am sure it doesn't mean your application is any less likely to be approved.  

if it helps - one week before we signed off our form F we suddenly were sent a whole page of additional questions to annswer.  it wouldn't have been so bad but we needed to email them in 5 days and we were both working long hours and out most nights that week.  I wasn't a 'happy bunny'.  Needless to say - none of the info from those questions appears in our form F.  in fact 90% of what we wrote, worked on, discussed and prepared isn't in there!  But i guess it proves that you only need 10% of a good couple's application to show that they will make good parents (which i hope we will some day).  the rest helps the agency ensure that you are indeed hte kind of people they are looking for.

News from us is that we were unaninously approved as adopters for one little one aged birth to 3years.  We celebrated with champagne and ER on the tv!!  Going out for some drinks to tonight with all our friends as well though.  

magenta xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Magenta -        Fantastic news - well done.  Our sw told us that our Form F would be heavily cut down from all of our homework but that if we felt something vital was missing, we would be able to say.

Barberella - don't be disheartened.  You've come this far - only another few weeks to go.  You know what sw are like - questions, questions, questions and more questions  - very often on the same topics but coming from another angle which makes you feel they are trying to catch you out all the time.  Grit your teeth and plod along the final few weeks.    Our sw suddenly announced they needed another family referee since the law changes on 1 Jan came into effect.  It was getting the referee seen that delayed our panel date by 2 months as everyone was too busy to go and do a home visit as it was not a local person    Just par for the course.

Keli - we had a similar thing when our sw meeting was cancelled at the last minute as she had to dash off to rescue a child and then she couldn't come for 3 weeks    She did apologise and we did understand that children must come first, but it was very disappointing for us.

Boomer - thanks for explaining about the pet thing.  We didn't have to do that - just write a couple of lines introducing our pets which we had to put in our family profile.

Ruth - my son is 5 and still scribbles over pictures!  He just can't be bothered to take the time to colour in nicely and he likes to be the first to finish his 'colouring' - as you say, girls are much neater  

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Nats

Hi folks...

well thought I had better touch base again seeing as I was just in the background and seemed to be forevere waiting for some good news....well my other thread I started shares our FAB news with you all!.
So I need to get back up to speed with everything and everyone!...

I did want to say Magenta, well done on being approved, thats fab news and the last hurdle before being matched!  

Promise to catch up over the weekend.

Natsxxx

p.s Kimmy...I know you are out there!..


----------



## Barbarella

Thank you ladies for your words of encouragement.  I know it's all part of the process... but it just makes you feel so inadequate when they've already squeezed you dry and then come at you for some more... which seems pointless. 

Anyway, I do feel better today, and thanks kj, it did help getting it all out.  I don't suppose it really helped that I had organised a maternity shower at work, and it was that day... although you deal with it at this stage, when other things get on top of you, it just all gets too much I think.

Thanks again. 

Nats... fabulous news about your match... many many congratulations!!  I can't wait to hear as many details as you are allowed to give out on here.  Are you allowed to tell us his age?

Love and luck to all.
Cx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Barbarella,
We too had an e mail within days of panel wanting lists of things it knicked me completely. Our SW explained she was just covering all the basis which put into some sort of perspective for me. It is really hard as you say when you think everything is done and they still come back for more. I just told myself she wants to leave no stone unturned and it's in our best interest but yes it's tough and we do understand it here. Take care and take some time out when you can love Jill x


----------



## kizzie

Hi Barabarella - sorry you're feeling so fed up but your message really cheered me up   

Im sat at the computer faced with hours and hours of typing over the next few days because our SW contacted us yestersday to ask for loads of extra info.  Some of it she had forgotten to ask us for and some of it has been mislaid  - so was feeling a bit frustrated.  Thought all that was behind us.

Good to know im not the only one!!!

Hope you're feeling a bit better about it all.   

Kizziex


----------



## Barbarella

Awww Kizzie.. you poor thing.  That's rotten.    Best of luck with it.. it's horrible facing all that work. 

Well you've all made me feel better, and made me realise it's not just us.  

Jilldill - I know what you mean. Better that it happened now than not be approved because they wanted answers.  I think the main problem was the type of questions, they just seemed so ridiculous.  Anyway, just got to wait to see how the reference goes next Tuesday and hopefully that will be it.  Haven't even given panel a thought at the moment... I keep thinking it will be rescheduled, so am not getting hopes up until the last minute.

Love to all.. xx


----------



## wynnster

Hi

Nats - Your post made me laugh - you know me so well   You know how pleased i am for you  

I've loved reading your stories on here and to read how excited you all are sends shivers up my spine   Although very frustrating it must be too especially for Barbarella and Kizzie.

Congrats to Magenta - Ohhh Champers!! Hope you dont have too bad hangover tomorrow morning    We've got a bottle of Champers we've been saving for years to celebrate - think it's probably off by now though  

Loved reading your posts about pets as i was getting a bit worried about ours, we've got a 4 year old Jack Russell who is so spoilt and is so Loopy! She's fine after a while but just goes to town when anyone comes round   I think she may have to go to school to learn some new manners as i can just see the sw coming round and Penny (the dog) jumping all over them    We've got 2 cats too but dont suppose they'd cause any problems 

Boomerang girl -    Cats on kitchen worktops - YUK! Although i do know someone who does allow this AND they feed their dog at the table    

Ruthiebabe - My 2 and a half year old nephew does scribbling on paper (and also my sisters walls just lately  ) but not colouring in, although i'm sure if the pictures are of his fav charactures then he'll love it   my nephew would love to use red on postman pats van for example, the red would be all over the page but he'd think he was doing a great job   

Right - DH just walked in from the pub  

Take Care All

Kim xxxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hey ruhtie, as a special needs teacher I say who cares what it ends up looking like, the important thing was your idea of it being interactive- he will love to have a good scribble to "make his mark" on the book, and so long as he gets praised for his special colouring in his special book, it is a job well done. at the same time, sitckers of fav. characters arw waht we are looking for too.
have fun!
we have nearly finished room (dh needs to put pink coat pegs up_ then can do our pics. am absolutely exhausted- everyone just calls on me for babysitting duty in schoool hols, that combined with a virus and trying to clean house, do chronologies, write "our opinions" on the matching paerwork, sort garden and strawberry's room, I just need a good sleep!
girls- hang in there- sw always need more paperwork! even though we were approved in november, and linked in december, there hs still been lat minute paperwork.  grrrrrr

boomer
x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

yeah I wans't expecting any great works of art from the little man.....at least not till he's 5 anyway!   just wanted to give him a reason to spend more time looking at our photos.  Boomer, are you just sticking to pictures of you, DH you pets and house for this one. i was wondering if pictures of new cousins might make it more appealing for a toddler, or if he might think they live with us?? You putting picture of her new bedroom in too? I was supposed to start on that this weekend, but was too knackered! Next weekend defintely though!

We've been sent more stuff throught the post to fill in, and had more questions we've answered before.....so it doesn;t end after beign approved unfortunately!! 

xruthie


----------



## Boomerang girl

hey ruthie, we are going with big pics of us, then a page with all the close relies- (grandma, grandad, 2 sets of aunts/ uncles and 2 cousins) a page with close friends/ neighbours (the ones with kids so she can see her new playmates) our dog, her room, her buggy, and - on advice from the sw- our cars with her car seat in!
also gonna get a stick on mirror for her own page at the start- so about 8 pages in all. I think I'll do it laminated and in a ring binder, and have some pages to add to it later, like her aussie nanny and poppy and aunt/uncle/2 cousins. she won't need it straight away but we can add it before they eventually come visit. the other thing is by doing it in a ring binder if the foster carers think it is information overload they could always take out the friends/ close relies pages to start with.  any ideas welcome!

when we first found out I was itching to do the room but it has been hard work and tiring! great to see it finished though. good luck with it!
boomer
x


----------



## Boomerang girl

hiya,
our sw was just here and talking to us about someone who did an introductions book that you inserted photos in and it was really interactive- by a company called whoozit? or the book was called whoozit? of the website? just wondered if anyone had heard ofit and could point us in the right direction

paperwork all signed and submitted for panel now!


----------



## saphy75

boomer, i looked at these when i was putting my book together, they look fab you can buy them on amazon here's a link

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/glance/-/kids/B00067TZSK/qid=1144764151/sr=1-15/ref=sr_1_0_15/026-2328162-1238068

hope it works 

pam xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## saphy75

they are made by the manhatten toy company, look under whoozit 

www.manhattantoy.com/

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites

pam xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

pam you are an absolute star! just bought one!


----------



## Nats

Yeah thanks Pam....thats another thing that I can get underway!

Ruthie -    @ him not being an artist!. Im not sure I like the idea of more paperwork and more questions  tho!..  ..oh well its all worth it in the end isnt it!

Kimmy - Your IM made me laugh!....wishig you all the best on your decision!...

Boomer- sounds like you have made really good progress with everything, its amazing how tiring it can all be isnt it. I bet the excitement is keeping you motivated tho!

No more news here, we are waiting for a call from little ones sw...she was off last week and only got back yesterday and they already know we are going away tomorrow for a long Easter Break. So hopefully we will get some more news and get things moving once we get back!.....havent slept properly since finding out so maybe a pimms or 2 is in order tomorrow night once we get settled in Bournemouth in the caravan!...  

Happy Easter everyone

Natsxx


----------



## alex28

have a fun break Nats - and hope you get some more news soon xx

those books do look good - i have put the site as a favourite so i can buy one when the time comes.


----------



## KarenM

Nats - Have a great time on your last holiday as a couple (assuming you are not doing the nieces and nephew trip).  Can just feel the excitement in your post.

Boomer and Ruth - Have fun putting your albums together.  That Whoozit book looks fab.

I should be able to catch up over the weekend as I finished on my project yesterday although we had a bereavement in the family on Monday and my grandad is very ill at the moment.  Just can't believe what's going on in my life right now.  The girls make it all better though although eldest decided to be wide awake for three and a half hours last night which included a rendition of the Hokey Cokey at 1.45a.m. that woke the whole house!!  Consequently I am pooped, although she did say I could have had a sleep at work!  If only!

Catch up soon
Karen x


----------



## Boomerang girl

I was up at bluewater today- the kids section of john lewis sells the book too. it did look really good for a 0-2. I think we will put just shots of us andher and our dog in it, and do a laminated folder one with the cars, house, room, us, blah blah.  keep her busy!!

karen- so sorry about your family difficulties.  and...... late night hokey kokeys- sh'e just practising for when she gets a bitolder and hits the nightclubs 

nats have a great holiday!


----------



## maria22

Hello All

I am new to this thread and I have decided to go through one more ICSI cycle with ARGC in the summer. I am however keen to get familiar with what is involved in adoption and who I contact. I live in Middlesex.

Any advice appreciated
Best wishes
Maria


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

I posted a few weeks ago and just thought i'd pop in again. No news to report. I have e-mailed the team leader and asked if we can meet when we are back in the uk. We have submitted out initial information forms. Our 6 months wait will be up in August and we just want to get going.

We are definately going to do concurrency. Tracey C is that what you're doing? We are from the same area and at the same stage i think. It may be nice to swop notes!!!

Great news on all the panels recently, what a busy month April has been.

Thanks to Superal for the PM.

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Everyone

Not long now till the easter xxxxx arrives, that's what DD keeps telling me.  DH keeps telling her if he leaves rabbit droppings around the house again this year he'll be in trouble! (last year DH had this bright idea of leaving a few currants in a pile....yuck!)

It makes me smile to think so many of you will be experiencing your first of everything like this with your children soon.  Easter is nice with the thought of the Easter xxxxx BUT Christmas is the best!

Karen - sorry to read you are having such a bad year.  DD doing the hockey cokey made me laugh although I doubt you were laughing, or trying not to at that time in the morning, bless, you wouldn't be without them! 

Fiona - Good luck with the new adventure, you know I'm here for you.  Tracey is doing the same project & I'm sure she will reply to you as soon as she has an opportunity.

Boomer - Is all the decorating finished now?  I bet your glad it is or nearly done.  Don't forget to have some "me" time though before your introductions start.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Love
Andrea
xx

PS I had to type easter xxxxx because look what happens when I type easter xxxxx properly it comes out as easter bunny...........I can't see my DD saying that!!


----------



## alex28

Glad it was not just me Andrea - i was sending a message to Jayne on the other thread and said the easter bun was banned from our house and it came up with that too!!!

Welcome to Maria and welcome back to Fionaxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

easter bunny


----------



## Boomerang girl

I can't believe it! I thought you meant it would be a picture!!  ok.. who is the naughty administrator then??

(sorry andrea I had to try it.......)


----------



## Mummyof2

We got our Form F to look at yesterday.  Loads of mistakes in it - typos - that need correcting.  SW coming later today to collect it - don't give you long to look at it then!  It needs to be submitted on Thursday as we go to panel on 11th of May - finally.

Those albums look great.

Karen - sorry to hear about your bereavement and that your grandad is ill.

regards and I hope you all have a happy Easter.

Jennifer


----------



## jilldill

Blimey Jennifer you got longer than us our SW said she couldn't leave it. She sat and waited while we quickly read through and yes we had loads of spelling and other mistakes! It was interesting to see what she had said about us though and there was some very accurate stuff about us and our relationship.
Take care Jill x


----------



## Mummyof2

Jill - I can't believe that you had to sit and read it while your sw was there!  We are all entitled to have it for 28 days in reality.  As dh and I are not having it for that time, we have to sign a form to say that we waive our right to have it for 28 days!  Of course, if we had it for the 28 days we would miss our May panel so we will be handing it back tonight, after carefully proof reading it to amend all the typos.  Looks like it wasn't even spell checked!!  dh and I did all of the report writing in our homework and it was handed over spell checked and no typos but obviously had to be retyped onto the correct form.  SW only added one A4 sheet report she wrote.  Can't believe how little input she had into it.  Must cut sw workload dramatically getting us to write our own reports. Bit disappointing really as nothing much new to read but no surprises and nothing bad about us so that is good.    

All the best

Jennifer


----------



## fiona1

easter bunny

easter rabbit


just wanted to try too


----------



## alex28

Fiona -


----------



## magenta

We only had our form for 3 days to check and approve it before it was sent back for all the spelling corrections to be done!  Then we got our amended version back 2 days before panel.  We signed off the application version only a week beforehand!

Our form was half what we had typed and half of observations and meeting notes so there was a bit of both in our form.  Anyway...it seemed to work cos we were approved.  let's hope placing sw's like it too.

BTW - what is this with easter bunnies? Am I missing something? 

Magenta xx


----------



## fiona1

Magenta,

If you type Easter b u n n y without the spaces is comes up with what was on my previous post.

Fiona


----------



## magenta

ok...need to try this

sex mad ball of fluff

hee heee heee[childish giggles]

Magenta x


----------



## superal

Now you know why I put easter xxxxx rather than typing it can you really see a five year old child saying easter bunny.


----------



## Barbarella

I know how you feel Jennifer.. we were sent it in the post, arrived on  Thursday... dh was on nights, so he read it during the day, I got in at 9pm and read it thru and SW picked it up the next day.  There were quite a few typos there, but she warned us there might be as she had to do most of it herself.  Think the admin resource is minimal.  

Anyway, one bit made me laugh - she said that we went on holiday to Jersey with my Dad and his new partner when we were 8.  Actually, we went to New Jersey to see realtives with my Dad and brother.... !!!  LMAO... that made me chuckle.

We did our profile although she hadn't told us to.. and she was quite impressed when we'd done it.  But I agree nothing much was added, but what was added was lovely...  

Can't see what on earth you are all talking about ... Easter sex mad ball of fluff.... it's just coming out as words for me.. LOL... 

Well our paperwork has now been sent off.. the last minute referee went well and everything is ready.  I still have a feeling it will be cancelled, so still not dwelling on things too much at the moment. Probably a good thing anyway. 

Sorry to hear you are going through so much Karen, hope things improve very soon.

Love Cxx


----------



## kizzie

We got our Form F today as well.  Not in rush for us to be back though because our panel isnt till June (may one full   )

Hundreds of typos but SW warned us there would be. Going to read through it over bank holiday.

Sorry things so tough at the minute Karen    xxx

Happy Easter everyone!

Kizziex


----------



## Boomerang girl

I think we win the "lack of time reading form f" competition-

sw turned up at our house the night before the deadline, to say that she hadn't finished it, and that she hd got a 6 day extension on the deadline from the area manager, but we had tot sign the back page saying we agreed the form, then two nights before panel she emailed it to us! we did have a rough idea what it would say as we wrote a lot of it,and have a very good relationship with our sw, but itwas naughty really- unfortunately it was that or wait two months for the next panel.  this time (matching panel) was much better- we got the matching report, with our bits and everyone elses, to read and sign on tues when sw was here.  it was a lovely thing to read- actually much nicer and more interesting than reading the form f anyway

easter bunny

...... sorry can't help it!


----------



## Viva

Easter bunny...sorry!


----------



## wynnster

Easter Bunny     

Still feel a bit of a fraud posting on here as you're all so further along the line..... but just to update you's  - We've had our information Pack through and we're going along to the next information session on 9th May    I'm also going to contact another agency too and request some infor from them (was going to do that today but forgot it's good friday   )

We're still going along to our follow-up consultation for our failed ivf in March but i do think this will probably be a waste of time.
I just do not want to have anymore tx, DH asked if i was sure and said that if the clinic could guarantee a 75% chance of pg and even offered to pay for tx would i go for it?  And honestly, no i wouldn't!!!  I'd choose Adoption.

Can i ask how everyones DH's were about adoption?  Mine is fine and has always said he doesn't have a problem with adoption but getting him to talk about it is like getting blood out of a stone, i guess he's like this about everything not just adoption but i'm concearned that the sw will ask him something and totally shock me with his answers    Not sure what questions i can ask him to get him to open up a little though ?

Hope everyone has a great Easter whatever you're planning - We're camping   so praying it doesn't rain!!!!

Kim xxxxxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

just tried bunny on the chat night thread and it didn't work??

oh well.....no news from us. still waiting for the info for the parental responsibility stuff....should have had it 2 weeks ago! About to start decorating Boos bedroom today. after breakfast that is. DH making eggs benedict.....never had it before, and he's never cooked them, so should be a success cos even if he messes it up I won't know the difference!  

hope you all have a good easter,
XXXRuthie


----------



## Ruthiebabe

easter bunny


----------



## Ruthiebabe

ahhaa...you have to put the "easter" in too....durh!


----------



## Jussy

Hiya, I wonder if i could ask some advice.  I'm new to the site, currently undergoing 2nd attempt at ICSI but have also talked at length about adoption and it's something we want to explore further.  At the moment we're engaged but not married - does this make a difference when you're considered for Adoption?  I'm 35 nearly 36 and DP soon to be DH is 33.  Does our age make a difference to the age of the child we can adopt.  Ideally (like everyone i guess) we'd prefer a child under 2 yrs.  Can anyone give any advice?  

Jussy
x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Everyone,
Ruthiebabe, how fab to be decorating Boo's room!!!! I bet it will be the most enjoyable paint work you have ever done, enjoy it all.
Jussy, the laws changed at Christmas you no longer have to be married to adopt. Our case was abit odd we were told last Jan 05 that we would need to be married before they could take us any further. So we duly go and get married hardly anyone knows and it's been a year and then we are told you didn't have to do that!!! Be prepared to jump through hoops! 
Kimmy you are not a fraud please don't ever think that you are considering adoption and looking for advice you have absolutely every right to be here no matter what stage of the process you are at. Please keep writing you will find it very helpful and supportive. 
Viva, there you are how are you? Haven't heard any news from you for a while
Boomerang girl yes you get the award for seeing your F form at the latest stage, though I would like to hang onto the record for it being in our possesion the shortest time ( 1 hour!!!!!) with SW sitting there.

Love to all looking forward to chatting on Thursday love Jill x


----------



## Jussy

Hi Jill, thanks for the reply...i've only registered today and it's the first one (chuffed).  

That puts my mind at rest, thank you.  I had visions of us not being considered because we hadn't been married X number of years. 

I'm really, really hoping that this time our ICSI will work but i don't want to live my life thinking, just another go, just another go...whilst i'd obviously love my own child, i also know that me and my DP have so much love to give to a child i don't want to miss out on precious years by delaying things. We're exploring our options as adoptive parents now and from reading some of the messages on this site i realise it's another long road. 
However we're staying positive in the hope that some day, some how we will be parents? X 
Jussyx
x


----------



## cindyp

Hope everyone is having a nice easter and that the easterbunny brings you lots of yummy chocolate eggs     We've just come back from a lovely few days at the seaside.  It wasn't exactly Costal Del Sol but we did get on the beach albeit well wrapped up.  DS didn't care what the weather was like as he was happy to build his sand castles.

Karen, so sorry to hear about your family bereavment, it sounds like you're really going through the wars.  I bet although XXXXXX's impromptu dancing in the middle of the night wasn't quite so funny at the time when you needed your sleep although we can all laugh about it now. 

Andrea, rabbit droppings Yuk!!  I hope your DD is happy just to get the chocolate this time  

Kimmy don't feel a fraud, as for being further along the line than you, I've gone back to the beginning of the queue   

Ruth, decorating Boo's room sounds great.  We did the same before our DS arrived, manic redecorating and shopping, enjoy.

Boomer, hope you are making the most of your last days.

Jussy, best wishes for your ICSI.

Jennifer, we had our Form F's for the weekend and of course there were millions of typos, after they were supposedly corrected we got to read the ammended version in a conference room with our SW.  We then had to sign with the hope that the remaining typos would be corrected.  Ah, the wonderful efficiency of our Social Services.

On the same point, we have still not received acknowledgement of the application forms we posted two weeks ago for child no 2.  However it turns out that the people we put down as referees have all received forms.  DH is rather irritated, last time we only had to put down one relative as referee but this time they asked for two.  He put down his brother as that is the only relative he is close to but his brother has not really been able to see us much since we had the little one so cannot comment very well on us as parents.  He had expected to be able to explain this to the SW before our referees were contacted so he never got around to mentioning the form to his brother.  Hence our surprise and his "delight" to find out that they'd gone straight ahead and contacted them before ever contacting us.  Having been left alone for the last 8 months I'd almost forgotten how irrititating the SS and the whole process is    

Oh well, I've got the little darling asleep to remind me it will all be worth it in the end, I think.  His latest trick is taking the mickey out of his parents by mimicking us telling him off.  I caught him climbing on the sofa to reach my car keys and he turned round, gave me his best cheeky grin and said "Get down XXXXX",  a line that has been used often by me and DH.  This at 27 months, all I can think is "be afraid, be very afraid"    

Take care everyone.

Cindy


----------



## superal

HAPPY EASTER!

Cindy - Don't panic the Easter Bunny did come this morning & left DD a big easter egg, a purple bunny that she has not put down yet & a big bag of goodies.............NO rabbit droppings this year!

Hope everyone is OK & enjoying the weekend, of to help DH decorate our bedroom now.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Jo

Hi 
I think its time I really joined you this time  

We are only just starting our adoption journey, but we are so excited    .
After 8 full IVF cycles and a frostie that never made the thaw, we have decided we have done everything we can to try for our own baby, and this has always been in our minds that would adopt, even if we did have success with the IVF, so here we go, we have started.

We have a few open evenings to go to, loads of stuff popping through our letterbox about adoption........its a wonderful feeling  

It might take me time to get use to all your ladies on here, but I am sure I will 

Hope you are all having a great Easter, and not eating too many eggs    

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## Barbarella

Welcome to the mad house Jo... I remember that feeling very well... in fact, I've still got it.  Such relief that something good will come out of all the heartache.

Looking forward to sharing your journey with you. xx

Cindy - LOL at your little boy - he sounds so cute... 

Only news we have is that we've got our confirmation letter.  Panel is officially Thurs 27th at 2.15pm.  EEEKKKK, can't wait.  I'm hoping it won't be cancelled... I know they can be, but not sure how likely it is the nearer we get.  Now it's getting nearer, I want it over and done with... so excited.

Love and luck to all...
Cxx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jussy - Welcome to the thread.  Good luck with the ICSI.

Jo - So chuffed to see you finally joining us here...I remember feeling just like you do and taking in every bit of information.  You are on the way hun  

Karen - sorry to hear your news.

Kimmy - keep posting...

Cindy - aww your ds sounds adorable.

Boomer - not long now.

Ruthie - enjoy decorating Boo's bedroom  

Kizzie & Alex - June isn't that far away, before you know it you will be at panel eek!

Jennifer - do you get to see the amended Form F before panel?

Hi to everyone else.

Looking forward to chat night    We are still doing HS, no other news.

Laine


----------



## alex28

just a quickie to say i hope everyone has had a nice weekend - lots of choc to wipe off those little ones faces no doubt!!!!

catch up more in next few days xxx


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## LB

Great to see you posting on here Jo - can't wait to follow your journey XX
doesn't seem two minutes since i was saying the same thing to Laine and when i see how far down the adoption path Laine is now - the time just flies over

hope everyone is enjoying the long weekend

We have Sw visit on Thursday and are hoping for some news!
LB
X


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## Jo

I have my fingers and toes crossed it is good news LB  , you deserve it hun

Hi to everyone, just on my way to bed 

Love Jo
x x x


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## everhopeful

Karen

Sorry to hear of your sad news. Sending cyber hugs for this difficult time. (())
Our daughter's doing the Hokey Cokey everywhere she goes, so I know that feeling!!


Hi to everyone else....

Hope you all enjoyed the Easter weekend. Can't believe we're in mid April already! Our littly's been here almost a year now! 
Lots going on here, so no time to post properly, I will be popping on to nosey everyone else's posts though!
Take care

Ever x


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## sanita

Hiya

Not much to say, but I thought I'd check in with you all.  

Welcome to Jussy and Jo.  I can really relate to how you're feeling Jo.  

Am I right in thinking that those of you on here with children have adopted very young children?  DH and I are interested in older children (infant school age) and I wondered if anyone had experience they would be willing to share of adopting older children.

LB - Hope the SW brings you the news you are waiting for.

Barbarella - Good luck with Panel on the 27th.

Sanita.


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## Viva

Hi everyone,
Happy Easter hope you're all having a good one filled with chocolate.
JilDil (Big Congratulations by the way!) we are presently waiting for our information evening 17th May. We saw our Consultant a week ago last Friday and have pretty much been signed off, they just want to keep an eye on a cyst they found when they did my lap, but that's more for my health I think (didn't fully understand why they want to keep an eye on it as they're not planning to do anything with it!). We've been reading some of the information that we've been sent through and DH is a bit low about some of it, we know it will be tough but reading a few adoption diaries on another site, it all seemed to be negative and few positives. I think that we accept that there will be difficulties in raising children (behavioural probs etc) but we want to feel that we can make a positive difference to their lives as well. I guess to be honest (like everyone) we want to feel that our children will grow up to be happy, healthy and well adjusted, obviously you can't garuantee that even with you own children. Bottom line is, yes we are being realistic but would be great to hear some success stories as well, would love to hear from anyone who has adopted a while ago and how it's been for them! It's been good to talk to each other about all of this our hopes and our fears anyway, it's easy though when you're reading all the negatively slanted information sent through by some of the adoption agencies to wonder if you really would be able to adopt a child with so many problems.
Love Viva
XXX


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## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Gosh I haven't posted on here for a couple of weeks cos had so much else going on and I don't know where to start to catch up with everyone's news!

So just a quickie this time to say hope you all having a lovely few days over Easter and spoiling yourselves with lots of choccy!  I'm not doing so well on that front as dh (being a total chocoholic) keeps eating it before I get anywhere near!  

Big hugs to everyone who is not having such a good time at the moment and of course it is always so nice to hear so much good news - this really is the most positive place to be posting.

We're pretty much at the end of our HS now, SW just has to do all her ref interviews and write up the form and do health and safety check.  We booked in for panel on 19th June but hoping we might get an earlier cancellation although probably being a bit optimistic.

I will endeavour to catch up with everyone properly very soon!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


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## jilldill

Thanks for your good wishes Viva, great to catch up on your news. Hi Lauren you are moving on really well fingers crossed for an earlier date for panel.
Love and happy Easter to all Jill x


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## Boomerang girl

happy easter all! nothing to report just wanted to say hi
x


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## Mummyof2

Just a quickie as been away at a wedding for Easter and just got back.  Scoffed loads of chocolate eggs so not been good on the diet - but lost 2 stone 2lbs in total but taken 18 months to do that.

Laine - no we don't get to see the amended Form F1 again so just have to trust them to do all the amendments we have requested.  It is not good practice at all but seems to be pretty standard by all the replies on here!  There were some glaring errors as well where dh's experiences had been put down as mine and vice versa    One form we were supposed to sign hadn't been put in with our Form F1 so will have to be brought over for us to sign on Thursday evening (20th) as the deadline is Friday.  If we miss the deadline we will be put back a month but we have been assured that won't happen.  In this area, only 3 couples per month go to panel so no wonder the wait is so long.  The couple after us were on our preparation course.  It will be nice to see a friendly face or two there.

Jo - welcome to you.

Cindy - sounds like you had a good time on your little holiday.  Like your ds my ds is very happy to go on the beach/park/garden in all weathers as long as he has his coat on  

Hi to everyone else.

Jennifer


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## Katykitten

Hi everyone,

love this thread, so much positivity!

I know I'm a bit behind times but just wanted to try it

easter bunny

Kate
xxx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

moan and rant warning............... 

so....we were supposed to be going to matching panel on the 4th of may.....not anymore! Now its delayed till the 11th. I know it doesn;t sound like much but its really annoying. 2 weeks ago we were waiting for a form to sign and send back on time for panel. They had to have everything in by this thursday, when it hadn't arrived last week i chased it up......still hadn't arrived today, and i got a phonecall asking me where all the stuff was.....so i told them we were still waiting for the form. "Oooh yeah i haven't sent you that yet have i......i'll fill it in and put it in the post now".......so having convinced them that it might be better to read it out to me as i only had to comment on whether we were happy with it or not. I then had to leggit back home to get all the forms and get them in the post so they'd get there on time. I was just filling in the envelope when realised i hadn't got the postal address.....so phoned them, only to find that after all the panic and stress it had been delayed cos they booked the wrong one!............i thought it was just our SW that was crap.......but its all of them. I don't mean crap in the personal sense.....just in the "having a single shred of common sense, or ability to act with any efficiency" sense. 

I know maybe you think i'm over reacting....as its only a weeks delay, but it just seems like everytime there's a delay that its never going to happen. and it's all just some elaborate tease.......sorry, am being very self-indulgent, but am feeling a bit low  

anyway at least we got the decorating done....looks lovely!


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## magenta

oh ruthiebabe...big hugs 

Why don't sw's realise that a week is a long time when you are waiting for a family - and not just that - it is a 'needless' wait of a week for the sake of a missing bit of paper.    our agency have been pretty good so far (knock on wood) but I have heard 'horror stories' from the other agency in our area about home study taking well over a year because of delays and sw holidays.

Feel free to moan and rant - I am sure we will all have these days!

I know it is hard to be positive but you now have a bedroom all ready and an extra week to sort other bits and pieces round the house.  Any photos of the bedroom (obviously keeping anonymity if needed)??

Magenta xx


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## Viva

Hey Ruthie,
Just wanted to say feel free to rant and moan...we've all been there on our journey's when one 'little' delay feels like another huge mountain to climb, I properly fell apart for a week or two when my lap and dye was postponed.

It will be all worth it when you get there!
Have a glass of wine this evening and feel free to rant some more if it helps!
Love Viva
XXX


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## Boomerang girl

aw ruthie big hugs your way. My panic is for some reason we will get bumped off, then have to wait another month as panel is only once  month in each area!  I am so sorry about the delay I think the closer it gets the harder it gets! still it really isn't long now until little boo will see his bedroom for the first time. I am glad you are happy with the finished product. Part of the prob at the moment seems to be the new paperwork is unfamiliar to the sw's so they are muddling their way through it for the first time. strawb's sw hs only done one match before, but luckily our sw is very experienced.  I know in time we will wonder why we were worried about a week or a month, but at the moment it is torture. I was so upset when our panel changed from April to May I thought my world had ended!
xx

I am back to work tomorrow. bah humbug. still. my last day is 8th May, so I have worked out, that taking out the bank holiday and panel day I have 12 working days left to go!

I just booked up a manicure, eyebrow wax and eyelash tint for the 9th, my little bit of luxury before all the madness (hopefully) begins on the tenth.  I can't believe it is two weeks today until matching panel. It seems like tomorrow and forever away all at the same time!

everyone else- thinking of you andhope you get news of your special little one(s) soon.
boomer
x


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## Mummyof2

Ruthiebabe -    all these delays really does your head in.  Hugs to you.

Boomer - not long until you finish work then    My sw told me that dh and I are guinea pigs due to the new paperwork so you are so right.

All the best to everyone.


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## Boomerang girl

jennifer that is totally the case!
even though we were approved last nov, we hd to do last minute chronologies for this- and luckily I had been to a "newly approved" meeting so I knew about the adopters comments on the matching report- I did that in under an hour and sent it by email!

I bet you can't wait until panel- not long now
x


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## superal

Hi Ruth - just want to send you a big hug as I feel you need one at this moment in time.

Don't apologise for having a moan, you are only human after all & if you didn't moan you would go mad! 

I know exactly how you feel though, a week might not sound much to many people but when you've got a date fixed in your head and then for one reason or another it doesn't happen it is upsetting.

We found out about our DD before we went on holiday & we were told we would start introductions 2 days after we landed back in England BUT we were to phone from abroad whilst we were away to make sure every thing was still OK.

DH rang & eventually got through to be told that for one reason or another introductions were being put back by a week.  We were gutted, it did mean I could catch up on the washing & everything but it's not what I wanted.  I just wanted to meet our DD & hold her for the first time.

It will happen soon & Boo will be so lucky, as will yourselves.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Barbarella

Big hugs coming your way Ruth from me too.  So frustrating.  A week is a week, and as someone else said, you gear yourself up for the date.

I am worried our panel date will get cancelled too... we are also guinea pigs and our SW informed us we are her only couple to have used the new forms so far... hmmmm !!!  We know someone else who is going through the same LA as us, and their panel was cancelled from beg April and now isn't until end May.  So, we really will be stuffed if this is cancelled.  SW also has to go into hospital and she's hoping it's not then.  

Oh well... nothing we can do about it if it is.  It must get harder the further down the line you get.  I remember thinking when she first gave us the date and told us it could be cancelled, I thought... oh well, whatever.  Now I'm thinking "please... no"!!!

Take care.

Love C xx


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

LB - hoping to hear some good news from your sw visit on Thursday  

Ruth - Huggies from me too (((((Ruth)))), I would feel exacty as you do, week or not!

Kate - hello and welcome  

Boomer - bet you can't wait to pack up work.

Jennifer - hope that form turns up on time and more importantly that your panel date does not change.

Lauren - good to hear that you are nearing the end of HS and that you have your panel date.

Alex - how's things going for you?

Hi to everyone else.

Nothing to report here.

Laine


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## alex28

Oh Ruth - sorry to hear things have delayed slightly - i would be so annoyed/frustrated too!  

Barberella - hope nothing happens to hold yours up either - fingers crossed.

Laine - hope you are ok.  im fine, last visit next week plus Health and Safety visit to be done.  I subscribe to adoptionuk and got my pack today with the Children Who Wait mag - i could cry at every child in there - soo sad when you read their profiles and you just want to have them all.  

Back to work tomorrow - have had an extended BH weekend which was nice, so had pampering day today with cut and colour etc, now off for an early night!


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## fiona1

Hi All,

I have been back in touch with SS and am meeting with them next week, to discuss concurrent planning.

They ahve said we should get on a prep course by the end of summer.

Fiona


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## KarenM

New home this way......

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,55053.0.html

Karen x


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