# I am so angry and upset!



## Poppet27 (Mar 22, 2013)

Hey, 

I have posted this in Tubal Issues as well.

So I went along for my HSG yesterday and it was fine, I didn't feel a thing, that may have something to do with the amount of Tramadol I took I have waited 16 months for these results and it is this area in particular that I have been told is my problem. Anyway in true Angela style, I produced results that my consultant had never seen before, meaning that he needs another person to write a full report before they can tell me if my tubes are blocked or not. The specialist they need is on holiday for a week and I have another 3 weeks before I find out. Devastated!  
He said that one of my tubes may be clear but has a lot of scar tissue under it, and the other one he could not figure out at all, he said it could have spasmed and there could be kinks in it, and it could be inflamed, but he honestly didn't know. 

I really hate to think like this, and I hate to say it out loud, but I swear to God all I could say and think yesterday was that someone hates me, to build me all this time for that result that I was promised, and then not to have it. I asked the cons if I had one blocked tube and the other had scaring would I still be referred for IVF, and he said that he cannot answer that until the final report is written but he made it clear I could conceive with one tube. Due to my history I have always been told that it is highly likely my tubes are blocked and I am high risk ectopic, the cons agreed with this yesterday. I know my mind is working over time now and I need to calm down, but I swear I will become hysterical if that is what they tell me, why put me through that if they know I am high risk ectopic and only have one tube. 

In 2011 I had a lap for Endo that resulted in a perforated bowel, I was left for 3 days in hospital before they noticed (my wound burst its stitches and poured bowel fluid) From then on I have been ignored and treated appallingly by the NHS. I ended up having 2 Laprotomies in a week and a stay in ICU. 
I was then sent home and readmitted a week later via A and E with a bowel obstruction as they had given the wrong dietary advice. I had given up my job in the Police Force to finish my qualification as a Counselling Psychotherapist,  and it all turned into a massive mess. I attended Uni for 8 months with a massive open wound on my tummy and had to attend the doctors every day to have it dressed. I then had to have more surgery as it got so badly infected it wouldn't close. 

It was only once it had closed that we approached my Gyne and said we were going to start TTC, that is when she informed us that it would be extremely unlikely after the all the surgeries and infection that I could get pregnant naturally.  But she still sent me away for 16 months of getting my hopes up every month, and convincing myself that I was pregnant. I am surrounded by friends who have children and who are falling pregnant first time. 

I think I am more angry and upset because this major mistake happened in the NHS and they admitted it to me and told me to file a lawsuit, but that is going to take another couple of years and to be honest they are struggling to prove it because there is no written evidence. I just want someone to stand up for me and fight my corner, I want someone to take charge of this for me and make sure that I get the right treatment and care from now on.

I tried talking to family and friends yesterday about how upset I was, and all I got back was 'its only three weeks', I know I must sound selfish and self absorbed but I would really like for people to care a bit more! My partner is amazing however I am aware that he is going through this as well. 

That is enough from me, sorry for the rant, but i feel like i may explode with emotions!

Hugs would be appreciated  

Angela


----------



## LittleL77 (Jul 14, 2012)

Hi Angela

Didn't want to read and run.

I can relate to the 'it's only 3 weeks' comment. Yes, that is enough to incite you to murder - 3 weeks is a flaming lifetime when something like this is involved!!!!  3 days is long enough...I'm not very patient and would probably only just about manage 3 minutes at a push  

What I can say, however, is that regarding the complications after the Lap - the burden of proof lies with the NHS and not yourself.  If they can't provide adequate documentation to support their treatment and management, then they will be judged as having NOT provided an adequate standard of care and monitoring.  I am not a big fan of these no win-no fee companies, but it might be worth discussing your case with one (maybe see if anyone can recommend a particular company). If nothing else, they will have the legal knowledge to push things forwards for you. (I am no expert where this is concerned, however).

Realistically, I do feel that someone should have noticed signs of a perforated bowel before 3 days - pain, high temp etc. When ttc, it is not acceptable to 'send someone away for 16 months'... it's a very emotional time and 16 months of uncertainty is too long.  It does sound as though the surgeries could well have caused damage which means that natural pregnancy couild be risky. Maybe not...but why wait until you have to go through another trauma?? The Health Professionals dealing with you are not giving you enough attention and do sound like they are fobbing you off a bit. You may need to stamp your feet a bit to make them sit up and listen - you do have good grounds.

Thinking ahead...it may be that you have no other option but to wait the 3 weeks to get your HSG properly reported (better than someone looking quickly and guessing).  However, this should give you the right to point out that you have already been kept dangling for too long. To wait three extra weeks for test results is an additional insult - NOW YOU WANT SOME STRAIGHT ANSWERS AND A PLAN OF ACTION!!!

Is there a patient advocacy service at your hospital? This is an independent body that can 'fight the corner' of the patient who may be feeling vulnerable and confused about the whole process.

Sending   xx


----------



## Poppet27 (Mar 22, 2013)

Hi Little77

I am so sorry I just realised I never replied!

I am seeing my solicitor tomorrow and one of the major things I will be putting to him is where is my care now?!? I am going to find out if I am allowed to start an official complaint now the claim is a year in. I was advised by the hospital to use the PAS but my wound didn't close 6/7 months and I was too ill to argue with them. However having just postponed my wedding this year to concentrate on this I feel I need to give it all I have.  A lot of the issue is I am being treating at a different hospital for my fertility investigation, and as the original hospital do not go anywhere near fertility they have washed their hands of me that way. 

It will probably make me more angry tomorrow as one of the biggest battles I have on my hands is getting an independent Gyne to stand up in court for me and say that they have caused my infertility. 

I just need to take one day at a time, try not to drink wine and think happy positive thoughts 

Thank you for taking the time to talk


----------

