# Thinking outside the box.....Your opinions valued!



## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Ok Ladies, here's the deal,

I've found out today that I may not be able to go back to my Ofsted post part time. This is a very big deal to me as 1) I know my emotional limits and doing it full time is no longer an option and 2) I need the other half of the week to work on my two small business ideas. But, I do need the money to sustain me. I've been avoiding considering leaving up until now because it is safe, steady, home based, but I've got a good CV, worked for myself before, delivered masses of training, managed my own time, worked from home and with a variety of client groups, etc.....

Is it time to post my CV up on a variety of sites, network away like mad and take a leap of faith? 

Your thoughts welcome.....

MM xxx


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## pipkin (Jan 14, 2005)

Hi MM

I thought when you came back from being signed 'off sick' which is stress related that employers should offer you part time working just to ease back into your job?  Could you ask to go part time on a temporary basis (ie. while you look for another job?).  Perhaps I am wrong about this?  It might be also worth getting it in writing from them as they are basically saying that you come back full time or leave which in my book is 'constructive dismissal'?  

I think if at all possible (financially) you have to get out MM as life is just too short and you have been worrying about this job for such a long time now.  

In my opinion I would definately get that CV out there - just like Flipper did a few months back and look at her now   !

Good luck
Pipkin x


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## NixNoo (Aug 19, 2005)

Do it MM - go for it!

Not sure on the employment law myself but Pipkin could be right. 

I think it's well worth you posting your CV around, I honestly think you'll be snapped up.  My dh also did this a couple of years ago and he had been employed by the same company for 25+ years, is dyslexic and was practically at rock bottom from having such a poor working life.  (He'd basically been told he was useless over the years and he'd started to believe it).  He's now got a job he loves, doing what he loves and still gets companies contacting him 3 years on.

Take the plunge, you're almost there.............

Nix
xx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

The first thing I'd say to you my lovely is 'look into your heart'

What is your heart telling you about this OFSTED job of yours?

Could you manage on DH's wage with your 2 businesses at this moment in time? If not, what about temping for a while - it pays a wage and means you don't have to stay anywhere awful for long.

You say you need your job to sustain yourself, are you talking financially or professionally here? Life is too short to stick with things we don't enjoy - hence me having a master plan of my own to quit my company once this next hopperation is out of the equasion (if I last there that long - lol)! 

I'm a great believer in things like this happening on the job front to prompt you to shifty on to the next challenge and phase... I'm sure you have tons of thinking about this to do, so I'll say it again, what does your heart/instinct/gut reaction say to you? Your instinct will never lead you up the garden path  

Sorry if my reply sounds wishy washy - I too am a bit of a hippy chick at heart !

Loads of love xxx


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Ladies, thanks you for your support....

You're right to suggest that I need to follow my heart, this job has been nothing but stress for a long time but I've stuck it out becauase I resented the idea of our finances suffering as well as everything else. I do need some sort of part time work to pay my share of the household costs and the businesses won't generate that for quite a while to come, but maybe it no longer needs to be at the expense of my sanity....

I'd welcome any more angles / opinions.....

MM xxx


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## Bandicoot (Mar 8, 2007)

Hello dear MM, first thing I'll say is I know no more about your situation than what you posted here so many of the ladies who've known you for longer will be able to give you much more in-depth advice. Pipkin makes some great point, emcee is right about listening to your gut instinct and Nix's post is very inspirataional. Anyway, for what it's worth...

I love the idea of you taking a leap of faith and based on everything that everyone has said here, you will be snapped up if you get your CV out there. Having said that, I have sat on the fence for years in a career (advertising industry) that does nothing for me any more except pay the bills as I have been too afraid to take the plunge into something else, and I have been using the 'motherhood' (pah!) excuse as a reason for procrastinating. So I feel it would be hypocritical of me to be suggesting you do something I haven't had the guts to.

BUT. I've also been in situations where I've worked for ad agencies that have made me so miserable that eventually it has become intolerable, and that has given me the push I've needed to get out, even if it's without a guarantee of money from anywhere else. It's scary but at these times I've told myself I will get a job, any job, to pay the bills until something better comes along. And invariably it has never come to the worst case scenario and I've found work within the ad world or just freelance writing without too much hassle. 

So, perhaps first off try to weigh up which is the lesser of the two evils: staying put (if you can fight your 'part time' corner) and being miserable and stressed, or leaving and risking being stressed as you look for work elsewhere? One is a stress you know, one is an unkown quantity. But which feels more 'right' to you? It sounds like it's possibly the latter but obviously only you know that.

Then, if you feel in your heart of hearts that everything is pointing towards time for that leap of faith, ask yourself what the worst case scenario would be. Mine was always having to forget the plushy well paid world of advertising if I couldn't find anything and taking any kind of job just to pay the bills. If the worst case scenario for you is something similar, would you be prepared for that? If the answer is yes, then you go for it!!   As I said, chances are it will never come to you having to do something you aren't trained for/don't want to do as I am sure that CV of yours is a force to be reckoned with. It's just getting prepared in your own mind with being comfortable with your 'worst case scenario' first. Well, that's always worked for me when it's got so miserable that I feel I no longer have a choice and have to leave.

Finally, MM, you said it yourself: you've done this before, you've got a great CV, managed your own time, got a great range of client contacts... it sounds like it's the right time to take the plunge, but while you weigh it all up what's the harm in getting your CV out there anyway? Somebody might well come along and make the decision for you!

This has been a bit of a stream of consciousness so I hope it (a) makes sense and (b) contains a grain of something useful!

Best of luck to you MM. Love B xxxxx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Wow! MM

It looks as if you have got some fantastic replies...
When i go back to your orignal post...it already states from your posting that you have all the answers already..with everything you have written you have backed it up with a conclussion. Now maybe its about putting it into action, that is the frightening leap of all...
Maybe as someone mentioned, but i cannot find it...maybe think about going back part time, just to get your feet on the ground?...or maybe its something you see as going backwards and its linked to those recent painful memories...its true your employer needs to ease you back into the working environment over a period of weeks...do you have a HR or Occupational health?
Or just look for a partime job somewhere else and put your heart and good soul into your workshops...
a complete new change on all aspects of your life..
Goodluck..
love astridxx


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

Hi there MM

As one wise contributor said to me when faced with a similar dilemma: leap and the net will appear.  I lept and it duly appeared (thank goodness!).  I know from personal experience it's a whole lot easier to say than do however.

Start networking, speak to recruiters and find out what the local market is like at the moment, use all the internet recruitment sites you can and upload your CV like a mad woman is my advice.  I've personally had a lot of success within internet sites and I know posting one's CV can be an interview magnet.

Don't under estimate your market value MM, in my opinion you have that certain something that will mark you at out at interview if you go down that route.

I'm assuming that you'd rather not go back even part-time (and I wouldn't in your shoes) but if you definitely wanted to hang onto your position until you've found something else, I think they're on distinctly iffy ground if challenged.

You could even try a cunning combination of the two, challenge the decision whilst working up some other opportunities.

Good luck with whatever you decide and above all, follow your heart, life is just too short.

flipper


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

My muvly chums, 

Thank you so much for all your encouragement and support. 

Here's an update....

I'm still waiting to hear from Ofsted as to whether I can go back part time or not. I'm a bit surprised that my manager didn't contat me at all yesterday, even if there was no news, and I don't think this bodes well. However, I phoned my union rep (first time in my life) and got some advice; I've formalised my request and booked an appointment with my gp to ask for two more weeks leave. The frustrating thing about this is that if my job did not involve being so up close with babies and bumps I'd have been OK to return about six weeks ago, but, there you go. 

Having said all that I had a really good session with my counsellor yesterday where I looked at all the stuff I have tied up with this job and why I'm hanging on to it. The stark and painful truth is that I was holding on in the hope of maternity leave; in a sense it represents the last vestige of my idea of being a parent, and the kind of parent I would want to be, i.e. able to take a year off to spend with our child, and do so without going bankrupt. But what I now see is that not only do I get no personal satisfaction from the job (to be honest I never have) but that it also keeping me hooked in to a place of desperate hope. So, I am going to leave. If Ofsted refuse me the part time hours I will get as much sick leave as my doctor will give me, tag on the accumulated annual leave, and resign. If they agree, I will go back, but with a plan to be getting me CV out there and to leave by July. 

The relief I felt once I faced all this was immense. It's true to say that as I face a childless future, there are little buried bits of me hanging on to the dream - entirely natural, but ultimatley unhelpful in the search for contentment. 

So any CV advice anyone?! (I shall be following all your suggestions so far....)

Thank you ladies, you are definitely an important part of the net that catches me as I leap!

Love, 

MM xxxx


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## NixNoo (Aug 19, 2005)

Good for you MM, glad you've had advice from your union rep.  Would love to help with the CV but I'm pants at them and ended up paying someone to help with dh's.  Mind you, there's a thought.

I must say I had a twang of a reminder when you said about staying on for maternity leave, I did that in a couple of jobs, what a waste of time that was for me.  

I also remember at least 2 occassions where I was asked in different job interviews, if we were going to start a family.  In one of them, I was going for a 2nd interview for a job (where they'd pracitcally offered it to me on the first one) and the interviewer told me that due to my age and being childless they didn't want to take the risk of me falling pg!  Needless to say I NEVER opened up and told them our situation (they didn't need to know) but decided not to take it if I was offered it.  The other implied the same.  I think this is illegal but at the time I was in my early 30s and was going thro treatment and didn't need any more hassle so never did anything about it.

I can understand what you've said about hanging on to the dream, not sure if any of us can ever say we don't think that at some point - even when we least expect it ourselves.  We are female and we're only human.

Much love
Nix


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Good for you MM. when i was off after my iuis I was so tempted to go to work part time.(there is a past post somewhere on this).However i missed the deadline for the followin year and so i went full time.I weighed up finacial issues and realised that it really wasnt viable for me as we had only moved to our new house 2 yrs at that stage and our mortgage was pretty big.Also my dh is 10 years older and he will obviously not want to retire til after it is paid off-we have been trying to drop it more every 2 yrs.

I would ideally love to have a craft shop but i dont think i will ever be as brave as you and take the plunge! A lot of my older colleagues and friends are leaving in the next few yrs.I will be 40 then and will make a decision then. Good luck you brave girl!!!


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi MM,

Sorry I am late here. Have been hit by another virus since returned from Spain and so have been absent for a few days. Sounds like you have come to a good decision. You know I have so much faith in you that I am sure you will make a good new career. Hope to be back on form and sending better replies soon. Meanwhile, I think of you often.

Jq xxx


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

I was shocked when I realised I was hanging on to my miserable job for the ever-so-slim change of a few months maternity....

My only advice is don't (but don't) sell yourself short. I did it for far too long, partly (but not entirely) as a result of the whole IF thing. 

Big yourself up, be loud and proud, you are a catch for some employer out there and believing it is most of the problem.

Good luck.

flipper

PS I once told an interviewer who asked about my maternal plans that I was "utterly barren as a consequence of my mothers drug abuse" and needless to say he went scarlet and the discussion concluded pretty quickly (apologies to all of those who may be utterly barren as a consequence of their mothers drug abuse).

PPS I didn't get the job ;-)


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## NixNoo (Aug 19, 2005)

Oh Flipper - although that's not funny - I did snigger to myself - purely cos I'd love to have seen his scarlet face.  Well done you!
x


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## Maggie Mae (Mar 2, 2006)

Flipper, 

I'm sitting in the small hours tapping away trying not to laugh out loud and spit my warm milk everywhere! You get me every time!

Thanks, everyone, for your support on this thread.... Ofsted have now agreed to my going back part time, and I will just for the time being, but I'm already working on the CV, and no Flipper, I won't sell myself short....

Thanks my luvlies, 

MM xxx


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

That's a great result MM, well done your team.


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Oh Flipper...   you are such a wee   !!!
But we love you...

Emcee xxx


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