# TTC #1 over 40, with older partner using 'AI' method. Next stop IVF?



## Vivbubwish (Sep 17, 2017)

Hi 

I'm Viv. I am 40 and OH is 61 (yes big age gap). I guess we are not your conventional partnership. We've known each other for over 20 years, met at university and formed a long lasting relationship. We married, then divorced, now found ourselves back together and we are happy with that. But, and that's the big 'but', children are missing  

We tried for about a year over 10-15 years ago but it just didn't happen. We had all the preliminary tests and so on, and all came back, 'Fine, keep trying'. Sex was not great, it was painful for me and OH sometimes lost it at the crucial moment. This time we have been trying again but through 'AI' (cup and syringe method) (to take the performance pressure off!) and just because it seems a lot easier this way. Nearly a year on, and nothing again...

And so, yesterday after a lot of to'ing and fro'ing from GP referrals to blood tests, ultrasound scans, and sperm samples I found out yesterday, neither of us are firing on all cylinders  

OH sperm sample not great, but no one seems to quantify it, just that sperm count, motility and morphology all low and down to normal age deterioration but that it is still 'possible'. Me, I have a couple of small fibroids, diagnosed by an ultrasound scan a few months ago. Yesterday we had our first Gynae consultant appointment and I had to have a transvaginal scan, which wasn't painful, just more uncomfortable than anything else. I'm glad OH was there because I think I switched off when she started saying I had endometriosis and low egg reserves and brought out the 'IVF' leaflet. 

So, next stop is a laparoscopy, and we have been strongly advised to look into IVF now....

Just wondered whether anyone else out there is going through this or something similar? Any advice or information would be greatly valued. Its so hard isn't it when everyone around you seems to be able to fall pregnant. The first person I saw when we came out of the clinic was a heavily pregnant lady with a two year old in tow  

Best wishes 
Viv


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## Greyhoundgal (Oct 7, 2013)

Hi Viv

Yes I'm sure lots of over 40s ladies on here will sympathise with the pressure and isolation they have felt or continue to feel when ttc  that's why this plac3 is so great  You'll definitely find others in the sane boat and also others to encourage you and say it can be done. IVF isn't always easy and it can be a numbers game for many so you need to have an idea of how much time and money you are willing to commit....

There's a lovely thread *HERE* with ladies over 40 just starting out so have a read and join in 

Good luck 

Grey xx


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