# Scared to try again at 42



## burren (Jul 4, 2012)

Hi there,

Just looking for some advice. I have two beautiful children boy/girl 4 year old twins, which were delivered at 33 weeks and spent 2 months in hospital. I am happy to say they both a healthy and happy. Following their birth I developed a blood clot and was quite ill for several weeks. It took me several months to fully recover.

Now at almost 42 I would dearly love to try again but wonder am I crazy to even consider this.My GP has advised to 'leave well enough alone'  considering all my DH and I went through, however I am deeply saddened to think I may never conceive again.

Have any of you had similar experience and go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

Many thanks in advance.


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## Sushi Lover (Oct 16, 2012)

Hiya,

I'd say if your GP has told you to steer clear because of health reasons to you or the potential newborn, then that's pretty good advice that you should strongly consider.

Imagine how you'd cope now with 4 year old twins if you had another blood clot that left you as ill as it did before?  It doesn't bear thinking about.

I can understand you want to be a mother again, but maybe having the twins and no more is your destiny. 

Perhaps someone else can offer advice or a different view who have been in a similar situation.  As my advice isn't from experience!

xxx


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## aggie123 (Jan 21, 2014)

hello  ,
maybe worth getting a second opinion, prob from a fertility clinic?! I'd say go for it as it might just be fine and no use of thinking why didn't you do it in about 10 years is there?

anyone can develop illnesses etc during pregnancy anyway but if you feel strongly about it you should definitely have a try. Have you any test results/hormone profile? as they can give you good indications too.
Best of luck with whatever you decide


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

i think if you want to do it, do it! certainly don't let the advice of one GP put you off, get advice from a fertility specialist, someone who can go into more detail than a GP does... 

but one thing pops into my mind so forgive me for mentioning it - I could be way way off track here - but...
since you had so much bother with the previous go... it must have been difficult having them at 33 weeks and having them in hospital for ages and then yourself getting a blood clot and being ill - quite an ordeal over all- I am concerned that you might feel deep down somehow 'robbed' of the birth experience you imagined.... what if (I am thinking) you want another not so much for the extra mouth to feed/hands to play with but to somehow re-live the whole pregnancy birth thing with a hope of an easier outcome.... to somehow go to term and not be ill afterwards and take your baby straight home.... 

you might think 'she's a lunatic I don't feel that way at all' but, if there is any possibility you do, maybe some form of counselling or something would be appropriate to sit and talk to someone about your previous experiences first, before making the decision to embark on another go. Not trying to put you off going again, just feeling that if there are unhealed scars from the first go (and I bet with twins to look after and then being ill you didn't have much time to sit and talk through your feelings but were just dropped in the deep end..) that it would be safer to sort them out first - just in case this try didn't go to plan or wasn't as smooth a ride as you hope for.. 

good luck, anyway.. x


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