# Telling 'your'world about adoption



## Frangipanii

Hi all, Not even started homestudy yet but there is a question which is confusing me that  I hope you lovely ladies will be able to help me with. We are wanting to adopt siblings and cant wait. Imagine we are successful and matched and bring the children home. How did you deal with people outside of your support network. Work mates, neighbours, old school friends, non immediate family etc. Just curious as to know how you told people or maybe you didnt. Obviously when pregnant people have exciting bits along a journey. And I feel excited and proud to be adopting but i am extremely cautious about the needs of privacy for the children and us. In fact do we want to tell anyone outside of the network!!! Sorry if this seems in a rush just have to got to work and wanted to post before I went!!! xxx


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## keemjay

i think you end up just finding your own way through this naturally. to begin with you just tell close family and frineds, then it starts to take over your life a bit and you'll find you open up a bit more to people..once you get your children then frankly theres no hiding it from people you see regularly, like your neighbours..you cant just aquire kids and nobody notice! you get asked why they have been adopted, and you just politely and firmly say 'obviously WE know their background but its their story to know first when they are old enough, its not something everybody needs to know' thats shuts most people up if they're feeling nosey and people dont ask again. further down the line when i meet totally new people i dont tell them unless i feel i want to/it comes up/i get quite close to them. you can get quite good at skirting round questions.
But honestly, you will just find your own comfort zone within it all
hope that helps


kj x


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## wynnster

I agree with KJ, it just kind of happens when you need to start telling people.... In the beginning we told few people, I mean, what if it didn't work out and we weren't approved!!    Then with family you'll find you only need to tell one person and that person tells someone else etc etc etc until EVERYONE knows   

Just go with whatever you feel comfy with, you wouldn't tell all that you're ttc so why tell everyone about adopting before its nearer the time....

Best of luck xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

We were very open about things too be honest always have been. However saying that i haven't been to many parenting groups etc as really don't want to be avoiding birth questions etc. I don't think we have ever been asked about back ground  our neighbours were so happy for us and other than saying hello in the past we had never really spoken to them.  you will find whatwworks for u as a family. Some of the older children that were adopted from our prep course are proud of it and say to people that they r adopted. Bubba uses the word and says i special mummy daddy.adopted me mummy daddy lucky. 
Sorry could waffle for England. Its a year today since she came home bit happy emotional lol x


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## AnneS

Hi,

I agree with the first response completely (KJ), but would also add: be kind to yourself. I felt i had to 'defend' our LOs privacy, but sometimes, when I needed support, things did slip out and then I would feel guilty. Not a good place to get to (emotionally). You are only human. What does help is to get a friend to  ask you nosy questions and try to answer/block them. A bit like practicing for a job interview.

Take care and best of luck!

Anne


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## Frangipanii

ladies. Thank you very much for all your advice! I felt it was the unanswered issue at prep group. My worry was the children get labelled but the perspective u have given is different. so thanks for the advice. 
aaa is a mummy congrats on the one year no wonder you are emotional. It is what dreams are made of!!!!! 
thanks ladies. 
much love fx


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## sevsxp

We got 2 adopted sons, and the issue of what we say, is be honest and dont make a "thing" out of the adoption.

We were recently asked by a mum at a sports club, at what aged did our eldest stop using a nappy, and just said he is adopted and was dry when we adopted him. The person said how wonderful we were (although we always tell people my wife and are are the lucky ones !) and the conversation moved on. Ithink if you dont make it an issue then it doesnt become one.

Only once have we been asked about the our sons birth family, and just replied, she wasnt deemed fit enough to parent, so he was placed for adoption, but I could see the person asking was disappointed and want the details....


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## Frangipanii

thank you Sevsxp for your lovely reply. I feel so much happier have read everyones reply!!! 
I am hoping to be a mum by the end of this year and I am ready to take it all in my stride even my nosey neighbours¡¡ 
much love to u


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## Frangipanii

Its been bothering me today. .....how do you tell people who you love but dont see. ie godparents, cousins, family friends etc who love away and maybe you see them once in a while. We have quite alot of these in our family/friend grouo especially my folks friends and it is beyond my tiny brain to think of a reasonable solution. Admittadly I am exhausted (evident by my spelling). please help!! xx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Family gossiping usually does that job without u having to worry about it. I mean gossip in a nice way there. Same as any important news good or bad gets where it needs to. U can always send its a boy/girl card to people when u matched we did to distant relatives etc with a photo it was just as important an announcement to us a birth would have been.


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## thespouses

We sent out a note in our Christmas card when we had a match.
We also sent a picture in the next Christmas card. We realised later that a couple of people got missed off the first list so didn't realise Little Boy was adopted. Oops!


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## sevsxp

When we added our AS to our christmas cards, a few of our family who hadnt got the news assumed we had bought a dog !!!!


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## Daddyboo (Paul)

sevsxp said:


> When we added our AS to our christmas cards, a few of our family who hadnt got the news assumed we had bought a dog !!!!


Thank you that made me giggle, I needed some cheering up.


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## someday

We haven't told our neighbours yet. I have had car seats and stair gates delivered and thankfully dh has been home as I was scared they would try next door. On Saturday we collected a car seat from our friends house and she showed us how to fit it. Once we pulled up outside our house dh quickly took it out of the car and ran into the house. We changed our car a couple of weeks ago to a picasso and one of our neighbours asked dh how come we had changed to a big car and dh said it was for his kiting equipment. He has a lot of it and some is rather large so it was part of the reason we got a bigger car but not the main reason of course!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Neighbors is an awkward one isn't it. On a practical level they'll see them before anyone however if like me you say hi and other polite chat but don't actually know them / are close friends with them. I think I'll tell them when they ask the question because child / children have appeared. In reality that may take a few days we have nephews etc over night so random car full of kids for a couple of says isn't uncommon.


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## someday

gwyneth27 said:


> Neighbors is an awkward one isn't it. On a practical level they'll see them before anyone however if like me you say hi and other polite chat but don't actually know them / are close friends with them. I think I'll tell them when they ask the question because child / children have appeared. In reality that may take a few days we have nephews etc over night so random car full of kids for a couple of says isn't uncommon.


Yes Gwyneth that is how it is with our neighbours. We get on well with them and say hi etc but not close. We plan to tell them after we have been to panel. The rest of the ppl in our lives prob know by now - the grapevine grows rather quick with that sort of news. I want to make an ** announcement too when we have been to panel - no names or photos but just that we are going to be parents!


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Sounds a good plan. We live in a small village our next door neighbors are the in laws of the girl my DH lived next door to growing up. Lady across the road's parents are friends with DH's Mum. Couple down the road are nephews best friends parents. So think we will just wait till they ask because in reality they may ask SIL or MIL etc first and save us a job. Not long to go now for you. A sib group of those ages would be our dream very excited to hear how intros and first few weeks go.   x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

I remember with a   the day our neighbours asked. They almost crashed the car lol trying to work out why we suddenly had lo. They had seen us with nephews on various occasions so we managed 3 weeks of her being home before they asked"is that yours?!" So funny. We very proudly said yes she is her name is bubba and she is a year old!! Few odd looks and we bith said yeah we r proud to have adopted our baby. They were and still r over joyed for us. It doesnt take long for news to spread. 

Good luck x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Three weeks love it. We should run a competition who manages the longest  before neighbours ask. Think 3 weeks would be hard to top x  x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

I was amazed bubba spent most of our introduction time here as well and we live in small block of flats and to get us have to walk past everyone else first. It was funny when she went out more than once in the car and was almost hanging out the window of car to catch a look.


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## Doubleprincesstrouble

We sent out a note with the Christmas cards to about 5 of our neighbours to explain we would be adopting two little girls. It just seem easier than having to explain in front of the girls.

Yes the mad old man three doors up was the first person to meet our little girls   We went out for our first walk around the block and he chased us down on his mobility scooter!


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## aaa is a MUMMY

that's so funny.x


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## Miny Moo

We were very open about going in for adoption, we had a couple of neighbours who we only really say hello to so just before our son came home I told them so that they would know.
Our son was older when placed so we wanted to make adoption a good thing, we had a party the day after his celebration day for his class at school, he took in photos of his day for the class to see, my mum and I took in some party food, the had dancing and party games, all the children made cards for him, it was a lovely day.


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## ChickenLegs

I told my boss yesterday, we're not approved yet but he's due to get a reference request so I thought it shoukd come from me first. His response was a little cool   Maybe he was just surprised.


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## wynnster

Mini Moo - That's so so lovely    (happy tears    ) 

Chicken legs - My ex-boss was weird, he came out with bizarre comments, even when we were matched.  Thank god I didn't return to work


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## Mummy DIY Diva

There's just so much ignorance. Best ignore him a bit and just get on with it - take issues straight to HR if possible if he carries on being a weirdo  . Hopefully he's just a bit shocked and not sure what to say because he doesn't know the companies position on adoption etc and what he has to do. May just be out his comfort zone and thinking what am I meant to say ??


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## Jacks girl

someday said:


> We haven't told our neighbours yet. I have had car seats and stair gates delivered and thankfully dh has been home as I was scared they would try next door. On Saturday we collected a car seat from our friends house and she showed us how to fit it. Once we pulled up outside our house dh quickly took it out of the car and ran into the house. We changed our car a couple of weeks ago to a picasso and one of our neighbours asked dh how come we had changed to a big car and dh said it was for his kiting equipment. He has a lot of it and some is rather large so it was part of the reason we got a bigger car but not the main reason of course!


Haha this will be us when hopefully the time comes


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## thespouses

We just appeared with a baby, think some of the neighbours thought I'd been hiding in the house/wearing large coats!

We were going to borrow a cot from a neighbour to photograph the baby room and would have been trundling it down the street but as luck would have it their nursery was painted the same colour so we cheated and put our toys on it in her room!


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## Doofuz

We aren't approved yet - panel is next month. We have told close friends and family from the word go that we are adopting. We didn't tell many people about the treatment we were having before so relished being able to talk about the next step and we love it (at the moment ) when people ask us how it's going. We know that when it gets to the point of a possible match that we will have to curb the details a bit and that people asking us how it's going could get a bit tedious, even if they are only being curious. It's amazing how many people don't understand what the process of adoption involves so I think it's useful that they know certain things as we go along so that when we are matched or if a match falls through, we can explain to our family what the reasons are (to a degree) and know that they understand too. 

Having friends from our prep group help enormously as they are really the only other people who really know what you are going through as they are going through it too.


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## thespouses

I do wish people from our prep group had kept up - I emailed everyone a couple of times but didn't get any replies. I have this vision of them all emailing each other behind my back   .


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## GERTIE179

Thespouses - I never heard from anyone from prep either but I did bump into one of them at an event and they were recently matched. Tbh there were a few I thought wouldn't go as far as home study based on some of the worries they raised on our last day over coffee but just never know.


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## keemjay

we managed one well attended meet up after prep groups, after that people didnt respond to emails.. we've kept up with one couple and thats it..ho hum   so its not just you thespouses...


kj x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Gutted I was really hoping to stay in touch with people from prep x


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## Frangipanii

We've stayed in touch but tbh I think people have done it to compare the stages of the process. We are in touch with three couples....1 - dont like them, 2 - tooooooo perfect, 3 - a bit like us and normal. Kinda gives u an insight in to stuff going on. However I say in touch but its prob been four emails in four months.
Dont u think its funny what you start thinking of others, I felt a bit in awe of the perfect couple ans the couple who I didnt like I was not sure the guy really wanted to do it, and felt she just wanted to get some sort of show off status from it...drove me mad. But I am very opinionated and harsh so who knows. 
I have to say Gwyneth you are having to wait an awfully long time to get started!!!!! Is there no other agency for you so you can speed things up!!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We stayed in touch with one couple.  We started an email list of the entire group and a closed ** page but eventually people just petered out.  I'm not even sure how many others kept going but the ones we still see we've become good friends with as they live quite close and we are at similar stages.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Never occurred to me that people would drop out I assumed if you convinced someone to take you on you must be really committed and would stick with it. 

We can't start quicker we're still in our 6 months wait unfortunately. The agency we have chosen is a smaller agency and only run prep 3 X a year. I think they basically pretty much finish one set and are writing their PAR's etc while doing prep with the next if that makes sense. We met a few at open evenings but we just had a lot more faith and confidence in them and the staff. It just happened their next prep matched up with the end of our 6 months. Others said to call back in 6 months. Not for me I wanted a date to work to. x x x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Our LA only do 5 prep courses every 2 years!  We were lucky as they had so many applicants they decided to run an extra one last year, which we got onto.  Resources are woeful, all the delays seem to be down to not having enough SW hours to get it all done efficiently.  Also, and please don't shoot me because I too worked part time, but all the SW seems to be part time so don't have time to do what is needed.  Ours works a 2/3 split over 2 weeks so one week she might only be in the office 2 days.


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## Doofuz

It literally is only one couple we are in touch with and it wasn't rushed as I know some people can find it a bit much. We see them fairly frequently for a Harvester or a drink and a chat. The rest of the group weren't really like us, an email list was started and we only get updates from one other couple who are not likely to meet up with but it's nice to hear about their success. I think we are very lucky to be in touch with the ones we are in with, it sounds like it isn't all that common


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Ah that's nice guess I just want people (obviously you are all fab but physical peeps as well as virtual ones would be lovely,) to discuss our early parenting experiences with. All our friends sit and talk constantly about pregnancy, labor, midwives, breastfeeding, scans etc. I will never be interested / able to contribute to these conversations so would really like to have a group of people who sit and discuss SW's, HS, FC's, Panels, intros, meetings etc with  .


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## custard

Gwyneth, have you joined Adoption UK? They have local groups, and ours does a regular pub night as well as speakers on adoption related issues. Might be worth checking out?
J x


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## Mummy DIY Diva

thanks Custard will look into it x x


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## ChickenLegs

We didn't keep in touch with our prep group either, everyone else there had children so we didn't really have anything in common    I'd be up for a Northwest meet up, if anyone else is interested?


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Sounds good chicken adoption uk doesn't have a group in our area gutted.  Putting faces to names could be fun x x


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## Handstitchedmum

We are also in the NW and have been recommended for prep group this summer. It would be nice to get to know other prospective adopters in our area and share our experiences.


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## thespouses

We don't have an AUK group here either (and we're also in the NW).

I am thinking I should ring the council (though we didn't adopt through them) and see if they have any adopters groups.  I realised the other day that little boy has only ever met one other adopted child and he lives in the place where little boy was born (i.e. on another continent!)


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## Mummy DIY Diva

That is the issue spouses.  I don't want to enforce adopted friends on my future kids but I do want them to know a few adopted families so they see us as one of many versions of family rather than the only adoption family in the village x x


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## gettina

Hi
Just thought I'd pop on to say that I am in yorkshire and the la we are with - doing hs - runs a regular post adoption playgroup. That way us parents and the kids get to meet people in similar situations, albeit probably just young uns- I have heard about it being quite hard to integrate into other playgroups (nct cliques, birth stories etc) so am chuffed to know about this. Hope some others do it too for you guys.
I am especially glad as assumed we'd stay in touch with various prep group buddies ( you seem to hear about everyone making new best friends so this thread has made me feel better that it's not just me that didn't) but it does highlight the breadth of different types of people who adopt- most lovely but just not people we would tend to socialise with. One couple we hope to stay in touch with but as they have a child we  aren't sure what room they will have for adoption mates! Ah well.
Gettina


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## Mummy DIY Diva

That's the thing unfortunately I find new biological parents aren't very nice except to other new biological parents.  I spent the last five years constantly being told you can't possibly understand till you have your own,  how life changing pregnancy is,  how hard new borns are, basically till you give birth you are not as worthy as those who do. People aren't meaning to be nasty they are just so absorbed in their own lives they can't think out of it. People have also told me that you could never love an adopted child like you would a bio one. To which I respond you couldn't I could everyone has different capacities to love. Anyway this is people I know so the thought of strangers in a toddler group terrifies me. Good news people get over it and get more perspective by the time their child gets to about 4  x x


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## crazyspaniel

Ladies, I know lots of birth parents are like this but not all of us are, so please don't write off everyone who has been blessed with a birth child   we have stayed in contact with one couple from prep but also know they would have been upset if we had been matched first as 'we already have a child'...
During my initial battle with if I believed all the pain and longing for a child would disappear, but it doesn't secondary if, although different, is just as painful and devastating.
I find these boards of huge support to me and hope that no one is upset/offended by me posting this xx
Anyway all I'm trying to say is you get lots of parents who are obsessed with birth stories but also many who are not  .  Xxxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

I'm sorry Cspaniel I didn't mean to upset birth parents. Some people do have perspective and understand that other versions of family are as valid as there's. However in my experience it runs at about 1 in 5 and I don't really fancy getting belittled by the 4 to find the 1. (This is my issue not there's and I understand this.)

For me initially till I feel confident ans settled having an adopted parent child group to go to would  be great before I venture into wider groups. Also I want to discuss my route to parenting with other people who have done it. Having a BC you can actually join in the conversations at toddler groups, I can't. I have 3 nephews one of which is disabled so I used to help SIL get them out and about when they were all under 4 (no one does a triple buggy so it takes 2 adults when the oldest is disabled). So I know the conversation topics of the groups round here from going. There wasn't a single conversation I was able / allowed to join in and know I would need my thickest skin to survive there.   I will do it longer term for LO's interest as they will be the children that will go to the local school and I want them to know them. However short term I will need to be kinder to myself till my confidence with my new family grows.


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## crazyspaniel

Ah Gwyneth, not upset, just didn't like to think that people 'like me' are upsetting adopters xx
Although different as time went on after I had BC I became alienated due to the seemingly effortless production of more siblings by those around me! So I can understand what you're saying and will be looking for adoptive parents groups for me and LO as apart from being excluded from the well established groups of yummy mummies I also would like to swap stories with someone who understands x
Not so crazy spaniel xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Our SW was worried about us staying friends with the couple from our Prep group, she never spelt it out but it seemed she was worried we would fall out because we could be offered the same children (and as we had different SW's I don't think she liked us comparing notes), by contrast their SW thought it was great that we had each other.  However, we had a good chat about it (the other lady and I) and agreed that it was invaluable to have someone to talk to who was going through the same process and we would trust that children would end up with the right family, we are very different in many ways so it's unlikely that children would fit in with our families equally.  We weren't worried if they were matched before us because it just meant we could learn from their experience and would be excited for them, and vice versa.  

Turns out there are a few couples in our village who have adopted too, we've already had drinks with one and got on really well so they will be a great source of information, plus there is a baby and toddler group literally over the road. I can't wait to meet the mums there, have been told it's a really inclusive and friendly group.


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Ah that's lovely Katie how strange are your SW concerns I would have thought they'd encourage it. Glad your local groups are supportive.  Might be worth me trying the surrounding villages groups as they may be more inclusive. How fab to find people in your village. CS I think people can tell how open you are. My sister has been really supportive and researched adoption loads to be there for me. Since this a woman she goes toddler swimming with has told her that her twins are adopted.  When my sister was supportive and glad she told her she cried. Most other mums have said to her oh so they're not really yours. When she told my sister this, my sister said of course they're really yours when they're scared they cry for you.  That's what makes a mum . So true just hope I meet people who have that attitude. I hate sounding negative it's just the one part of the process I haven't got straight in my head yet dealing with the rest of the world. I guess you just learn as you go, make mistakes and find the responses that are best through trial and error. 

Just worry I think I'm going to be way to over protective. Just don't want Lo's to ever feel anything other than acceptance and positiveness but this isn't realistic no-ones childhood is like that (mine wasn't anyway). Learning to strike the balance between avoiding damaging and prejudice vs managing the lack of knowledge, foot in mouth knee jerk reactions of the masses.  

I just worry if I'm going to be a good enough Mum to guide Lo's through that. I just want to be the perfect Mum and protect my family from the big bad world x x x


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## custard

I think that one of the things that the IF journey can prepare us for a little, is other people's insensitive comments. Over the years that we were trying we were asked some weirdly intimate questions by almost strangers. I never managed to get out a smart response, but DH and I used to laugh in private at the things that we would love to say.

As we get ready to welcome our little ones, I seem to be on the receiving end of this again. People see adopting as an excuse to ask appallingly intimate questions... So I'm hoping that I have the balls to ask the next person who confronts me with something outrageous, "So, when did you last orgasm?". I'm not sure I'll manage it, but it will help me to giggle on the inside anyway.

Caveat - obviously this is a pre-placement response, and I'll come up with something more child-friendly for future use. All suggestions welcome!


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## thespouses

I've found all the parents I've known to be very welcoming. Not much of a clue about adoption, but very nice.

Anyway I rang the council and they do have a meet up for adoptive parents - it's during the working day but they are going to contact the organisers and ask if they'll get back to me, as I'm sure some of their members work too.


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## Frangipanii

Wonderful reading about this 'fitting' in or not as the case maybe. It seems we all have similar worries. My hubby was in the forces when we got married and I found it very difficult as I was a complete outcast as I had a career and not lots of children. Fact is they didnt know that we were trying and they were breaking my heart by casting me out when all I wanted to do was fit in. Hey I was only 23 and not as tough as I am now. Just recently I worked with young mums who looked at me like I was an alien when I said I didnt have children. I worry that although I want to 'fit' in and I dont want to stand out but also I dont want make it all about adoption. I am dyslexic and when I was younger my mum made me go to support groups. Well I am sorry but it was awful. Oooh look you are different. I am also adopted and I am hoorified by some of the suggestions of our agency that we go to adoption parties and meetings. Having said that who knows cos I have adopted yet and I dont know how I will feel. If I go to groups and dont fit in then I will try another one. I dont blame anyone and I certainly dont label anyone, people who ever they are can just be crap. My friend adopted and a group of our friends had a lunch for new mothers and didnt invite her....which broke her heart....needless to say I am not friends with them anymore. She is however as she didnt want to make waves. As I said we are all different!!!
You have to do whatever works....and be strong. Completely rambling as i am on my phone so sorry fof that. 
I think for me it is important to remember that other people are not going to get it right, I dont. 
xxx


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## ChickenLegs

I'm one of those annoying people that says what she thinks... it gets me into trouble! I have used the following when asked about my childlessness:

"I used to be a man" (nothing wrong of course with this, but it really does shut people up)

"Mr ChickenLegs is an alien. Our parts don't match."

"Happy to discuss my reproductive failures with you. Do you want to go first? Any problems with your genitals you'd like to share?"

I'm not always like this, I'm sorry to say, and these I tend to save for people I know so I can add a wink. Complete strangers will just get a tight little smile. Not wasting my best lines on them


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## Frangipanii

A woman after my own heart!!! 
I am known fondly by my friends as their bull dog cos I dont beat round the bush!! U gotta learn the hard way!! xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva

Chicken that is hysterical I'd love to be that witty. May have to employ you to give me lessons x x


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## Jacks girl

ChickenLegs said:


> I'm one of those annoying people that says what she thinks... it gets me into trouble! I have used the following when asked about my childlessness:
> 
> "I used to be a man" (nothing wrong of course with this, but it really does shut people up)
> 
> "Mr ChickenLegs is an alien. Our parts don't match."
> 
> "Happy to discuss my reproductive failures with you. Do you want to go first? Any problems with your genitals you'd like to share?"
> 
> I'm not always like this, I'm sorry to say, and these I tend to save for people I know so I can add a wink. Complete strangers will just get a tight little smile. Not wasting my best lines on them


ROFL  these are what I think about saying but don't. These are truly brilliant xx


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## Handstitchedmum

No one ever asks me about my childlessness! Maybe because I look perpetually pregnant (apple shaped) so they are constantly waiting for me to announce the pregnancy already.    keep'm guessing....


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## Frangipanii

I sometimes get have you got any children but think people assume I am just a mad animal person! X


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## Mummy DIY Diva

We used to get it constantly but those that asked all the time now know and don't. It is mainly work people etc who say to me things like "Do you think you'll have children" " Do you not want children" etc etc etc. I just say who knows - because it's true the decisions aren't mine that's what others don't understand. 

Although as I am getting older and not really achieving anything at work I can see people looking at me thinking what is wrong with her? Why isn't she having a family? The judgmental looks are even more than the stupid thoughtless comments. 

Also I regularly have to give parenting advice and they always look at me really smug and say do you have children because you'll understand when you do (they don't actually let me respond because obviously if I did it might spoil there no one knows my struggles concerto). Yeah of stupid of me   after nearly ten years working in education and children's services as soon as I am a Mum the first thing I'll do is stop sending them to school because it's just so hard / stressful. Erm there is a lot of things I will get wrong, am scared about, worry if I'm good enough to do but by hell or high water I will get my kids into school even if it is the only thing I manage to get right for them.   

The world is a weird and wonderful place sadly lots of people add to the weird and not the wonderful x x x


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## ChickenLegs

That last line, so true!

I used to answer that I would perhaps have children, who knows, but then I stopped because the reply was always "don't leave it too late, you might not be able to have them!" and that just made me want to


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