# how did you find the home study process?



## misskitten (Oct 31, 2010)

Hello friends, 

I'm half way through home study and it seems to be going well. I'm just finding it quite draining and emotional at times. Wondered how others have found the process? 

I don't expect the adoption journey to be a walk in the park but think I'm just looking for a bit of moral support more than anything

MissK x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

I think everyone's experience will be different depending on how easy you find it to talk about your life, what difficulties you've encountered that need to be discussed and how your social worker handles things.
For me I didn't find it too difficult, there weren't a huge amount of areas that required in depth discussion so quite straight forward and the areas that did need discussion I was find talking about as had processed the emotions that went along with it.


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## Rayofsunshine (Jul 28, 2013)

Hi miss kitten 

I'm still in stage 1, but having seen what some of the home study q's r, I'm anticipating its going to be challenging! Although i feel ive dealt with issues from the past they r not things I choose to talk about now, so having to will b hard, and I anticipate feeling quite emotional! 

My plan is to do something after each home visit (exercise, visit friends, go out for a drink with hubby!) just to debrief! 

One thing u should take comfort from as well is that u live in the present - the now - not the past! The past is where it is for a reason and when talking about it highlight how far uve come! 

Hope that helps xxx


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Yes, it is draining and emotional!  I have to say first time round I rather enjoyed it.  Our last IVF had been in late 2009 and we didn't do home study till early 2012, and there was a nice sense of unpacking old feelings, processing them and putting them away again.  We grew as a couple and individually.

Second time around I've found it more frustrating, I think because I've been processing some of the anger over the hard bits when Bug first came home, because you don't get to do any processing when you have a toddler!  Also because we've had to do the exact same paperwork and exercises.  Grrr.

Ray's certainly right - think of things in terms of leaving those negative aspects of the past behind and seeing the positives.  Ultimately, it brought you to the here and now, and to being a brilliant mummy-in-waiting any LO would be glad to have.  

But it was hard work, and we certainly had a few panicky "are we ready for this?" moments.

We were, we are, and it's been wonderful.    Hang on in there.


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## misskitten (Oct 31, 2010)

thank you ladies for posting it always helps to read about other people's experiences.

Feeling much better about things now panel date is confirmed and social worker has given some nice feedback and been positive  

The hardest but also the best part of all this is yet to come! It helps to keep reminding myself of my strong motivation to be a mummy and that this is a wonderful opportunity 

missK x


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## weemoofrazz (Sep 6, 2013)

Like AoC we found the whole process really quite enjoyable and quite cathartic! I had already done a lot of reflecting and finding myself before we chose to adopt so I personally had no issues talking about everything and anything with our SW. I guess it does depend on the type of person you are though, we have a friend who didn't make it past the home study in her journey to adopt as she simply refused to tell SS all they asked about her, she is quite a private person and very reserved and the whole process was to her highly uncomfortable and intrusive  . I think how your SW is also makes a difference.


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