# Is There Any Hope?



## LizzieBee (Nov 17, 2011)

Hi,
We have just completed our second cycle of IVF.  Prior to this we did 6 cycles on Clomid.  Our OTD was yesterday - BFN, again .  

So altogether 8 attempts, no pregnancies at all.  Feeling devastated, I was sure it would work this time.  I can't understand why it isn't working for us.  Our consultant was so positive we would get a successful outcome using Clomid without even having to get as far as IVF.  Now I'm thinking there is something else seriously wrong.  I feel like there is no hope left for us.  We are so near the end of the road now.  I don't think I could risk putting myself through getting another BFN, but also can't imagine what life would be like for us without children.

Any advice?
Any positive stories?
Anyone been in a similar situation to me and got a happy ending?

Right now I feel like my life is over.     
Liz


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## Dixie chick (Sep 6, 2010)

Oh Lizzie, I can only begin to imagine how you must feel.   I'm afraid I can't offer any personal stories but I know from reading peoples' signatures that you are not in a no-hope situation. There are many women who have had repeated  bfns who do finally get their dream. I really hope one of them will drop by soon to share their story and offer some advice. Their is also a 'veterans bfn' thread where you can go to read about these troopers.

Dx


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## DJCJ (May 24, 2007)

Hi Lizzie
Sorry to hear of your BFN, its really heartbreaking.  Although a bit of a vetern of this process, it was only before cycle 8 that I got Level 1 tests done at my GP's (have a look at Agate's FAQ section in Immune Investigations for details of Level 1) and they turned up a potential reason for it taking so long for us to conceive No.2.  Although it was only a potential reason, rather than a definite, it provided me with enough evidence to persuade my consultant to treat me with a mild dose of steroids (10mgs) from stimms onwards and clexane(40mgs) from day after EC onwards.  While there is nothing to say that cycle 8 wouldn't have been the lucky one anyway, we cannot discount the fact that the steroids and clexane may well have made all the difference.  
Perhaps Level 1 tests are something you could consider looking into before you go forward if you decide to, as aside from anything else,  sometimes it just helps to feel like you have some control over this process   .

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever you decide
DJ x


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## LizzieBee (Nov 17, 2011)

Hi DJCJ, Hi Dixie Chic,

Thanks for the encouragement and advice.  I am awaiting my letter for an appointment to discuss options with our consultant.  I will ask about level 1 tests and see what she says.  I have also been seeing a Chinese doctor for acupuncture and she has said that she can help me by using herbal remedies.  I'll let you know how I get on.

L
xxx


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## janie73 (Jul 28, 2011)

Hi Liz
I recognise your name from the other boards. As you will see I have also made my way over to this board. I got a BFP but then 2 hours later I got full on AF. Chemical. 
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I was sorry to see you over here and I wish things had turned out differently for both of us. 
I'm currently off work and trying to get all my questions together for our follow up review (which no doubt I'll have to wait 6 weeks for). Immune testing is something I'm also considering but I'm frightened of going down that route because of the costs and it seems that everyone seems to turn up something. 
Your life definitely isn't over Lizziebee so don't feel that honey. This limboland is truly horrible and I'm so tired of being in it myself. It's only natural to feel so down straight after another failed cycle. But things will get better.


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## BernardsGirl (Oct 31, 2011)

There is always hope!!!! 

Lizzie I just wanted to reply as I'm in a similiar situation to you. I just got my 2nd BFN this morning (It's not official test day but it's highly likely this cycle is finished for me!) I was just so hopeful and really positive about this FET and It's all gone pairshaped  
Like you I'm finding it difficult now to have to pick myself up and go through this all again in a few months time. I will because I'm lucky to have some frozen blastos left....unfortunately I don't have time on my side  but you do!

I cried this morning and went out for  a walk but everywhere I went there were  babies and baby strollers. I also find it hard to contemplate a future that may not have litte ones in it. I'm not thinking about that for the moment  and still have to keep the faith that a BFP is on the cards at a future date.........hopefully for you too


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## LizzieBee (Nov 17, 2011)

Hi Girlies,

Thanks for your hugs and kind words.

Janie and Bernardsgirl, I'm so sorry you didn't get the BFPs you were hoping for.  I am also off work.  I have got my follow-up appointment confirmed for 13th June.  It feels like such a long time to wait!  After getting the bad news on Friday, I had a major cry, and then my DH took me away to the New Forest for the weekend.  Getting away for the night was really therapeutic.  But now we're back the only thing that keeps me going is constant research into reasons why IVF hasn't worked for us and what we can do next.  I'm an 'in-control' sort of person and I just feel like I want all the answers.

My Mum was a midwife for 40 years (ironic!), and so she knows a lot of specialists in gynaecology.  Some of the consultants she knew through work have set up a specialist clinic near us in Epsom.  One of them is quite well known for his studies into immunology problems causing implantation failure and miscarriage (Mr Sheata).  They have an open evening next Wednesday, so we are going to go to that, at least to get some more information.  

Unfortunately our PCT does not pay for any fertility treatment, so all tx so far has been self-funded for us.  So, the step up to private tx would not be that great.

I am speaking to my Chinese Doctor today, and I am going to give the herbal remedies a go.  

I figure that as long as I'm doing something then I feel ok about our situation.  I can't bear the long wait in between a failed cycle and the follow-up consultation.  I wish there was a patience supplement they could supply me with!!

I left my job working as a womenswear designer after our first IVF failed as I wanted to take a few months out to relax.  My plan was that this round of tx would work (we were given very good odds).  And that I would then set up as a freelance designer as this is something I always wanted to do.  Right now though, I don't have the energy or motivation to get started.  I can return to my old job after 6 months if I want, as I left on the premise of taking a sabbatical, but I think that going back having failed tx would be like a backwards step in my life.  Meanwhile my life savings are diminishing!  

To top things off my sister had a gorgeous little boy in March ((the day before MY Birthday - so now I can't even enjoy that any more!)(sorry if I'm sounding spoilt, but that's how it feels)).  They fell pregnant after 2 months!!  All of my extended family (cousins, aunties etc) are going for a 'do' at my parents' place on Sunday to meet the baby.  I'm close to the family.  None of them know about our problems, but questions are being asked behind my back - 'Is Liz getting worried  I'm the only infertile person on that side of the family, all of my cousins fell pregnant immediately!!!!!!  So, what should I do?  If I don't go I will feel sad that they are all there (I live close to my parents), and they will be asking why I'm not there.  If I do go and don't mention the IVF, will it be really awkward?  My family aren't the subtle sensitive types.  At this particular time I want to avoid upsetting situations.  If I do go and bring up the subject of our infertility, then I'm turning what should be a happy day for my sister into an unhappy day for everyone   

I was saying to my DH, imagine if the IVF works next time round, then by Christmas we will be happy.  I feel like I have been longing and hoping and wishing my life away for nearly 3 years now.  We have faced so much tragedy in our lives recently (apart from tx), I really can't remember what true happiness feels like .  I'm worried about my DH.  He lost his Mum and Gran before Christmas, his Brother and Sister are both on antidepressants.  Both the family cats also died this week! - we had to bury the youngest one on Monday after getting back from our wknd away.  His Dad has also been in hospital with a serious heart problem since the beginning of March, and was in ICU for 3 weeks.  My DH doesn't seem to let it all out....I hope he is ok...

Wow, sorry for super-long post.

Hey BernardsGirl, you have frozen blasts, so that's great and you DO have time on your side too, if you look at league tables for IVF stats, you are in the second youngest category!

Lets all hope the limboland train stops at our station soon and carries us all off to mummy-town!!!! 

Liz
xxx


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