# can anyone answer this?



## sarah sez (Oct 24, 2007)

Hi Everyone  

A question please. is it true that a white couple cannot adopt a child of mixed race from the UK?

Sarah xx


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi

to be honest i don't know (didn't want to read and run) however i do think they try and match you to a child of similar heritage to yourselves.

would be intresting to know the answer to this

sorry i am no help

xxx


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## sundog (Jun 21, 2007)

A child will always be placed in a family which reflects their own ethnic origins as closely as possible. This usually means that mixed race children will be placed in mixed race family (with as close a match as possible). In exceptional circumstances where a good match is not possible, white families may have a mixed race child placed with them, but ONLY if they can demonstrate that they can promote the child's ethnic origin adequately (this usually means with close links within the family and/or local community).

Hope this helps.

sundog
x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Can't really add any more to the excellent reply that sundog gave to you.

I'm not sure if the rules would also apply to outside of the UK.

Andrea
xx


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## sarah sez (Oct 24, 2007)

Hi 
Thanks for all your replys, thought this was the case.

However ( and I am so NOT predjudice! ) It seems bit unfair that you may adopt a child from overseas who would be from a different culture or that couples who have the same sexual orientation can be approved in the UK.

There will also be complex issues surrounding this too.??. I agree it is paramount to keep a childs culture/ heritage alive for them and I feel very comfortable about that but it all seems a bit double standards ?

Let me know your thoughts.
Sarah xx


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## sundog (Jun 21, 2007)

Hi Sarah,

I have to say, we used to feel like you. We originally felt that we would adopt from overseas in order to be placed with a young, healthy child. We were encouraged to consider domestic adoption and found that there are in fact children in the UK who need homes that meet this profile. However, we were at that stage of the opinion that it really did not matter what the child's race is.

As we progressed through the process we developed a better understanding of why mixed race placements are discouraged and it really comes down to what makes for an easier life for the child. This is all to do with the importance of their identity and sense of self, given that they may be left with little else that is their own. This does however raise the question 'what is better, to be brought up in a loving family from a different cultural background or to spend a significant portion of his/her life in care?'

Not sure I can answer that. 

sundog
x


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Sarah

I think Sundog has given you the best answer you will get, it is frowned upon as ethnicity is something they consider important in a match.

That said the ruling has worked in my favour.  My DH is 100% white english but I am only 75% white english (my grandfather was carribean) which meant that we were not able to adopt white children (despite being predominantly white) and had to be placed with dual heritage children.  As there is a shortage of dual heritage adopters we were able to adopt two young children (DS was 14m, DD was 7m) despite both of us being over 40 when we were approved.

Despite this I do think that it gets in the way of children being placed, my DS has light brown hair and blue eyes and appears 100% white yet he had to wait nearly a year to find us as there were no other dual heritage adopters in our area and they would not place him with white adopters.  I also know of a case where white foster carers wanted to adopt the mixed race boy they had cared for since birth but were told that SS would look for an ethnic match first before they wuold be considered.  One of the arguments that I was told is that mixed race children can get darker as they get older and would possibly feel out of place.  As somebody who is dark and has very fair sisters I know that this can happen in birth families anyway and personally feel it should be of lesser importance but then I was never very good at being PC  

Cindy


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi, 
I think that this is quite a grey area, DH and I are both 100% white British and yet we have been placed with children who are now belived to be 25% Indian and in our daughters case also 25% Polish! The bit about them being 25% Indian came out only after we had been choosen as the best match for them but before matching panel, it was a 'throw away' comment by the maternal grandmother about the BM's father being Indian. However, as both the children have been brought up as if they were 100% white British and this is also how the birth mother describes herself, it was felt that it would be confusing to the children to look for a match with the right ethnicity also they were really confident of us being the right match for the children and our DS had been told that he would soon be getting a new Mummy and Daddy and they felt that it would not be in their best interest to wait longer while and better ethnic match was found. It is interesting as to us (we live and work in very culturally and ethnically rich areas) it seems obvious that the children are not 100% white and having met the BM I would have questioned her ethnicity, but it seems that their SW did not! Saying that although their skin tone is slightly darker, it is not dissimmilar to my dad, brother and to a lesser extent me as we all tan very well and are never totally pale and interesting. In putting together our paperwork for panel, it was stressed that we live in an area which is ethnically very diverse and also that we had travelled widely and have much experience of dealing with racial prejudice in our working lives (DH is a teacher, I was a nurse in my past life  ) and the match was not questioned at panel! 

DH and I are confident that these are the right children for us and are committed to supporting them in the future should they wish to explore their ethnicity.

We were also told that our LA had approved other matches where white couples had been placed with mixed heritage children when adoptors of the same heritage could not be found.

So that's our experience, what is somewhat interesting is that when our SW looked back on our HS after this issue came to light we had covered the issue of non prejudice in relation to race in our valuing diversity section that there was little more to add!

Viva
XXX


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

This has jogged my memory from our assesment. Our SW asked if we would consider a child who presented as white but that had some ethnic mix somewhere in the birth family! So it was obviously something that they were open to don't know if that helps.
JD x


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## sarah sez (Oct 24, 2007)

Thank you everyone who has replied it is very useful.

My plan is to get in touch with ss after xmas. Are they quite receptive to meeting with you for a chat? even if you have not yet made a final decsision but to ask questions enquire about proceedures etc?

Have a feeling proceedures may differ depending on the area you live and the situation with regards to you as adpoters and children available. Bit of a silly question   but can you adopt if the child does not live in your area?

Sarah xx


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi Sarah, 
I would definitely say get in touch for a chat, after all it's it's all about getting information to allow you to make your decision. 
Also you will find that it is common to be placed with children who are not in your area, as they often want them some distance from their birth family.
Viva
XXX


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