# How do you cope with AF?



## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi all,

The title says it all really. How do you cope when the period arrives and you know you've failed that month?
At my advanced age, I don't know how many cycles I've got left! I'm always haunted by the fear that this might have been the last one, it might have been the last good egg and I've lost it. 
The thing's turning up soon, I know by the way I feel. I have terrible periods anyway and have to take painkillers from the doctor, so it's not as if they've ever been welcome but now I really hate them!
How do you cope?

Rowan


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## Mrs CW (Jul 12, 2004)

Oh hun, I know where you're coming from, I used to find it really hard.  
I ended up spending a fortune in early pg tests because I wanted to get it over with before AF came so that I wasn't doubly miserable, so every month I'd do a test, have a cry and a crappy day, then a couple of days later get AF and feel awful and have to go to bed for the pains.
Even after I had DS, I couldn't bear them and I still have a little of that feeling now.

I slightly resented them for all the years of pains and inconvenience when they didn't even bring me what I felt was the only upside to the whole menstrual business - an egg and a baby.  I still get pangs of resentment every month and then I wonder how it all went so fast that I could be contemplating an end to them.

One suggestion - have you ever had any acupuncture?  When I first went to mine - an infertility specialist - I'd never been asked so many questions about my AFs - none of the IVF clinic staff ever had the slightest concern about them.  I had the most awful period pains ever since I could remember, to the extent that I saved my voltarol after my egg collections and used them each month between treatments because they really were about the only thing that worked!  Wish I'd discovered voltarol before!
Anyway my acupuncturist came up with a theory that because my periods were very painful, clotty and dragged out for around a week, I wasn't getting a very good clear out each month and regardless of any issues with my eggs (which I also had) the environment I was getting embryos put back into was hardly conducive.... so we worked on that and I am convinced that acupuncture helped.  After the acupuncture I had my first ever pain free period and then I conceived on my next IVF cycle.  could just be coincidence, but everything felt and still does feel very different down there since.  

Just a thought.  and some hugs in the meantime for horrid miserable AFs    

Claire x


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## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi Claire,

Well, its definitely here now and yes, I've always resented it because it's always meant three or four days of pain each month, sometimes extreme pain (I screamed in the high street once!) Of course, now I resent it even more and I feel like you did - I've put up with all this pain since I was 10, doesn't this system owe me something?
I've even thought of having the lining removed but of course, that would put a complete end to our dreams of a child. 
I have to say that your periods sound very like mine! I envy people who have nice light periods that only last three days! I hadn't thought of acupuncture but it does sound as if it would be worth keeping it in mind. Is it very expensive?
The only good thing about them is that they are absolutely regular, they never miss (pity!) and I could set a monthly clock by them. It means I know exactly where my body is during the month though recently I haven't been aware of ovulation. I hope this doesn't mean it's stopped happening! There does seem to be loads of oestrogen floating about still and this has the nice side effect of making me look very young for my age (or so people keep saying)! 
I'll look into acupuncture, thanks for that.

Rowanx


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## laurainhk (Jul 20, 2008)

I second this. Acupuncture has been very beneficial to me, and now my periods are painless, have less clots, and even the PMS symptoms are less noticeable.
I also take 1000mg of Evening Primrose Oil every day, and do yoga twice a week.
Another major help has been switching from tampons to a Moon Cup.

Unfortunately i still have to deal with the disappointment every month, and when AF comes i cannot help being depressed for a couple of days. I know it's silly, because nothing short of a miracle would produce a positive HPT while trying naturally at 44 with only one (scarred) tube, but hope never dies.

I read a very good account of the toll infertility takes on women's emotional health. I can identify with it totally...and keep hoping for a similarly positive outcome.
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22532540-23289,00.html

/links


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