# Unsuccessful IVF



## carrie lou (May 16, 2006)

I've just had a failed IVF cycle. I'm gutted to be honest, the cycle seemed to be going so well - the doctors and nurses said I responded well, my oestrogen levels were spot on, good number of eggs collected, all but one fertilised ... And I had a perfect hatched blast put back. So why didn't it work?   


I know it's illogical and unfair but I can't get it out of my head that maybe DH is the reason I didn't get a BFP. Two nights before we went in for ET, he told me he didn't want to go through with it and we should just freeze all the embryos. I was furious and refused. Later he relented and said he didn't mean it, he was just having a very low day - he suffers from depression. But I'm left wondering whether there was a subconscious signal to my body that the pregnancy wasn't wanted, and that made it fail to implant. 


Just writing this down makes me realise how crazy it all sounds. I guess I'm just looking for explanations. We have two frosties and I'm having a natural cycle FET this month, praying for better luck this time. I wish I knew what had gone wrong and how to do things better this time.


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## MrsJ35 (Apr 14, 2013)

Hi hun, didn't want to read and run - sorry to hear you cycle was unsuccessful. Like you say, it is illogical to blame DH but that's what this TTC journey does to us - I thought my embies had been dropped by the embrologist this time, that's how crazy it can make us!
Although your cycle seemed perfect, unfortunately it wasn't meant to be and although that is no consolation, that's all that can be said. I really hope you FET is successful for you. Sending you   and   xxx


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

That's the problem with IVF a lot of the time: everything seems to be going perfectly... until the BFN. I really doubt that your DH's wobble before ET would affect the outcome. We had horrendous arguments during all of our cycles due to raging hormones and stress, and I suspect that a lot of couples go through the same thing.  So no answers from me but lots of       as I know how it feels and it's horrible.  The only thing I would suggest is that you think about having various tests done (if you've not done so already) before you embark  on another fresh cycle or FET. There is a list on the investigations and immunology/starting out board and the results might just show up something which could be addressed before your next tx.  On the other hand, it's worth remembering that the proportion of BFPs on  first cycles is actually quite low in any case - the chances of success are higher over two or three cycles. Hang on in there, you never know what might be round the corner (see my profile   ).       

Good luck 

Ellie


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## carrie lou (May 16, 2006)

Thank you both. 


MrsJ35, I see you've had two BFNs in a row   It's so hard isn't it. Sending you lots of   and hoping you get your dream one day soon  


Ellie.st, wow your story is certainly inspirational! I have had a follow up appointment with my consultant and he didn't recommend having any further tests at this stage, not least because of the cost (around £1000) but also because I've had one successful pregnancy already and the chances of anything being significantly wrong are slim. He said the overwhelming likelihood is it was just bad luck. Logically I can understand this but all the other girls on my clinic thread seem to be getting BFPs; why not me? It seems so unfair   Sorry to hear that you and DH had arguments too, it is horrible at a time when you should be sticking together more than ever! But good to know I'm not alone in that. 


Anyway, I have a scan tomorrow to see if I'm ready to trigger and then ET will be about a week later. Will let you know how it goes.


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## vickster_77 (Oct 18, 2011)

Carrie, just wanted to send you a massive     I think a BFN is even harder to accept when everything seems to have gone so well until that point and I guess only natural that you look to blame your DH when he put you through something so stressful, but I'm sure it wasn't down to that. 
My 1st ICSI cycle was the same, very little side effects, great number of follicles, good fertilisation rate, good growth rate & one hatching blast transferred and was told we couldn't have had a more 'textbook' cycle and had a really good chance of success. I really don't think there was anything we could have done differently and was told it was probably due to the embryo failing after transfer and they have absolutely no idea why this happens when an embryo looks so good, but my consultant said unfortunely its not a 100% success rate and to just put it down to bad luck this time.
Massive good luck with your FET, I've had to wait 3bleeds until we could start our FEt cycle, hoping lady luck is on our side this time and for you too!


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## carrie lou (May 16, 2006)

Hi Vickster, sorry you've been through this too   That is pretty much what my consultant said, that there was most likely something wrong with the embryo that meant it couldn't implant, and the solution is to try another embryo (one of our frosties). But it doesn't stop you looking for answers. Sorry to hear you've had to wait such a long time to get going again, I am being allowed to do a FET cycle the  month after my failed IVF but I'm having a natural cycle so maybe that's the reason. Wishing you lots of luck this time round


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## vickster_77 (Oct 18, 2011)

My clinics policy is 3bleeds for either a natural or medicated FET . I was originally planning a natural FET but after my follow up and airing concerns on a possible progesterone issues being the reason for our BFN we decided medicated might be better - I was looking for answers too! My concern was I started spotting 3days post transfer and it just got heavier, consultant said the bleeding could just have been due to failed implantation, but to keep me from worrying about progesterone issues he suggested a medicated FET. I was hoping for a natural with progesterone support, but with 4 embies I guess if one thaws OK I still have options for other goes if this FET isn't successful.

Ho hum, fingers tightly crossed for us both


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Carrie Lou
Sorry hadn't realised that you already had a LO so I think you are right just to go ahead with the FET without tests.  We always had good embies and our embryologist told us that he thought it was down to luck and timing of implantation in the end.  So here's wishing you lots of luck and good timing for your FET!        

Ellie


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