# Rainbow Crew - It's Our Year : Pt 46



## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

New home Rainbower's  and loads & loads of luck to Lou for tomorrow


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## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

*Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams
That you dare to dream
Really DO come true*​









The Cyclers!
Julie Anne IVF - BCP, BS 18/5, Sniffs 19/5, Stimms 26/5, Scan 31/5, EC 10/06, ET 12/06
Laine Clomid
S4rah Clomid










The Current Rainbow 2WWers!

Lou IVF - test 09/06 (Jelly Tot I & Jelly Tot II)
tjmac - test 18/06










Rainbow Crew Mums To Be!
Carol (Rainbow Drops .. RD1 & RD2) ICSI
Carole IVF
CJ FET
ClareS (Thing 1 & Thing 2) ICSI
Dee (Toot) IVF
GailM IVF
Gemma B IVF
Harriet ICSI
Hun IVF
Imogen ICSI
Nic (Dolly) IVF - twins
Nicki (Starsky & Hutch) ICSI
SueL (Malteser) FET
TraceyS (Pip & Pop) IVF
WinneThePooh IVF - twins










The Crewmates!
AllisonT DIVF Review 30/3
Chick66 IUI next step ovarian drilling
DawnJ - Time Out!
Fee A Summer Rainbower!
Jo IVF
Kimric IVF/FET
LB IUI
mmmbop see the May thread!
Paula lots of BMS!
Cherub75 (Emma) - Clomid Review 1/6
Littlest (Sarah) - ??


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## carole (Jul 21, 2003)

Oh Lou, test again in the morning hun - first thing pee works much better. It's not over till the fat lady sings and I aint singing yet.

Love from Carole

xxxxx


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## *Kim* (May 5, 2002)

Yes i agree with woppa Lou do it with your morning wee.

Love Kim x x x


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## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

Nooooo Lou  are you sure.....is it not the wrong time of night to be testing hun

God.....I am so so sorry, so sorry Lou


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## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

Oh, God Lou, I'm gutted for you!  I'm so sorry 

Maybe we shouldn't have encouraged you. Feel bad now, but felt sure you'd get a +. 

Those extra few hours and that early morning wee might make a huge difference though. Test day is tomorrow after all. I'm going to hang onto a little bit of hope for you. 

Hugs to you Lou 

Love 

Jayne x


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## Debs (Mar 22, 2002)

Lou,

I really hope with all my heart that tomorrow may bring a different answer for you.

Take care.

Love

Debs xxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Dear Lou

Like Debs says I really hope and pray that tomorrow morning brings a different result.

Thinking of you.

Hugs and kisses

jeanette xxxxxxxxx


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## sophie (Jun 2, 2002)

Dear Lou

Can't believe what I've just read. I'm so so sorry - I'd do anything to change your result. As the others have said it may just be too diluted. Hoping with all my heart that tomorrow brings a different result

Thinking of you

Sophie
xxxx


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## Dee (Jan 27, 2003)

Dear Lou

I really hope that last night was a false negative. You tested early and night time testing is not as reliable or as true as early morning, first thing testing.

I have my fingers crossed that this morning has/will bring you the positive that you deserve.

Loads of love and hugs to you
Dee
xxx


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## SueL (Mar 22, 2002)

Dear Lou

I hope and pray that the test this morning showed a different result to the one last night.

Just to say thinking of you.

Love Sue
xxxxxxx


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## Bev H (Nov 4, 2002)

Dear Lou
Thinking about you both and hope things have turned around this morning, much love, hope and prayers,
love Bev H xxx please please please xxxxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Its negative.


Thanks all of you for your support esp SueL, Sophie and Victoria xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

Dear Lou 

I am really very very sorry for your news this morning 

Absolutly gutted for you, I was sure this was the one 

Sending you a big big (((cuddle))) from me to you    

With all my love
Amanda xxxxxx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Dear Lou

I am so sorry to see your result this morning - you and Adam so deserve better than that

words don't really help i know - but we are all here for you Lou.

Take care of yourselves - sending you luv and hugs

LB
X


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## Julie Anne (Nov 12, 2002)

Lou

Im so sorry. Was hoping so much for a positive for you. Youve been through so much and been so brave.

Huge hugs for you this is just so unfair 
((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
lots of love 

julie anne xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Dear Lou

I am so sorry to read your news this morning.

I am so gutted for you and adam...you have both been through so much and as julieanne says you are both so brave. So unfair.

Hugs and kisses 

jeanette xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## tjmac (Sep 14, 2003)

Dear Lou,
So sorry to read your news...can't say anything to make it better.
Lots of love to you and Dh, take care of each other
Love Tj x


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## angiew1 (Feb 19, 2003)

Oh Lou,

I was so hoping for you that this morning would be a happy one. I kep my eye on these threads although don't post that often. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you both though.

Take care of eachother.

Love Angexxxxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Dear Lou,

Just to let you know that I am really sad to hear your result.

You and Adam are both in my thoughts.

Love

Laine xxx


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## Bev H (Nov 4, 2002)

Dear Lou & Adam
I am lost for words, gutted is an understatement. Sending you both my love, take care, love Bev H xxxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi Girls

Thanks for all your support. Much appreciated.

Adam xxx


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## Fee (May 8, 2003)

Dear Lou and Adam

Really, really gutted to see your news this morning. You so deserved that special BFP. You've been through so much together. Really thinking of you today - 
Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## julesuk (Jan 27, 2003)

Oh Lou, I am so gutted for you both. Why, oh why, doesn't someone up there give you a break?! This is just so bl**dy unfair.

Words cannot describe how upset I am for you.

I know it may not be much help, but I'm here if you ever need me.

With much love and hugs, Jules xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## sophie (Jun 2, 2002)

Dear Lou and Adam

Desperatly sad to read your news this morning. Wish I could make this better for you both. Nothing I can say can make you feel ok about this so just wanted to send lots of love and hugs

Sophie
xxxx

ps you have my mobile number if you want a chat


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## Kas (Oct 15, 2002)

Lou and Adam
So very sorry to read your news this morning. I really had hoped this was the one for you both. Big hugs to you.
Love Karen xx


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## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Not fair, hun ~ i'm so, so sorry,

Take good care of eachother,

Much love and hugs, Lizzy xxxx


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## dreamer (May 31, 2004)

lou and adam
i am so sorry to hear your news 
no words will make you fee better at this very sad time 
its just so unfare 
take care of each other 
luv dreamer xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## mmmbop (Jun 30, 2003)

so sorry Lou,Hugs to you and Adam,(((((hugs)))))

Love Mmmbop,xxxx


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## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

Hi Lou 

I hope that you don't mind me butting in here, I have been following your journey and think you are so very very brave.

I'm so very sorry that you didn't get the news you wanted this morning, I feel absolutely gutted for you both.

Take care  

Rach xx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hello girls

Thought Id pop in to let you know Im ok but confused about all of this.

Firstly I really want to thank each and every one of you. I honestly mean it when I say your support means everything to me, adn I wouldnt get through it without you all. Thanks to Amanda and Deborah last night for the giggle, unfortunatly it came to an abrupt end for me, but I enjoyed it whilst I could 

So far today has been hard. I honeslty dont know what we should do.

After the PGS screening which I dont think was a waste of money, It seems I produce the embryos ok but my body just regects them each time. When I phoned The Lister this morning this was the first thing the nurse said, not sure if she should have done or not but there we go.

I have booked a follow up apt for a couple of weeks to discuss it. My fear today was that Adam was gonna jack it all in. He feels so angry right now. I jsut honestly dont think I could but where do we draw the line? I am desperate for inspiration right now. I feel we still have no answers at all even after the PGS.

What do you girls think?
What should we do?

Adoption, I jsut cant think of, I mean could I love someone elses child the same? There are so many fears involved.

I think I am just desperate for answers right now which is normal.

5 years of trying, unexplained, 9 failed cycles........ and *not a sniff of a positive*. This cycle alone has cost us just under £5,000 we cant keep throwing money like this away, we just dont have it. *BUT I JUST CANNOT GIVE UP ON MY OWN CHILD* I have to keep going with IVF some how. I keep thinking of ladies like Bev, Carol etc, numerous atttempts and then bingo. It has to happen for us sometime soon.

Thanks again to everyone

Lou xxxxxx


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## Julie Anne (Nov 12, 2002)

Lou

I just dont understand this IF thing. You did everything you possibly could to ensure - as much as you can - that you had a positive outcome. Just what more do we have to do to get a positive?

Its natural to start thinking what now - but now is just too raw and emotional time to think about it - isnt it?
You just need to take today on its own and deal with the grief before you think about what next.

I discovered not long ago - after a failed cycle - that my plumber had also been through ivf to the tune of many thousands of pounds. Sadly they never did get their longed for baby. He said that you just know when enough is enough. You know when your ready to either close the door completely or move onto the next door, which wont open till your ready for it. 

As for could you love someone else child - I think so. I have 2 step children, both are very different (well different as well as one being a boy and one being a girl ) I love them both very much - especially David as a more loving and giving step son I could not find - ask SueL she'll tell you how lovely he is. Claire and I have had some issues but I still love her in spite of them. They were in their teens when I met Martin and now im sure I wont love my own child more than I love them - will just be different.

I hope that when the initial shock and anger wears off you will know what to do. I hope that the doctors at the Lister can help Lou. You really deserve your dream.

Sending you lots of love and many hugs Lou, take care of each other. Always here if I can ever be of help.

love julie anne xxxxxxxxxx


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## Cherub75 (May 22, 2003)

Lou 

I just don't know what to say, I'm absolutely gutted for you, life is so blo*dy unfair sometimes.

Sending you and Adam huge (((((hugs))))), and hope that given time you are able to reach a decision that is right for the both of you. That decision I'm afrain can only e made by you.

You'll most certainly be in my prayers tonight.

Love

Emma x  x


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Lou

Jac has said it all eh?

Thinking of you.

Laine x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Thanks Jac

The problem I have is that I have never, ever seen a positive pg test, I have never had a hint of one, ever. I worry that emotionally I am regecting any baby from growing inside me as I have so little hope. I really dont know what to do.

Being unexplained doesnt help either as I can see no physical reason ie blocked tubes etc as to why I have never been pg. 

I am trying to think of Sunfish (Camilla) she is prob the most similar to me regarding diagnosis and she is no pg with the help of Agnus Castus...maybe.... obviously she will never know if that is what helped her in the end, but she is pg, thank god.

I am not, never have been and wondering if and when I ever will be.

I have to give Adam a child some day.

I just dont know where to turn or what to do.

Thanks again all of you

Love Lou xxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Lou,

Like you I have never seen a positive pg test and am also un-explained.

I really can empathise with you on both of the above. It is so hard to know what to do next and when to say enough is enough.

Both Camilla and Kas were taking Agnus Castus and I have considered it too. Maybe worth ago who knows?

Laine x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

OK Ive thought of one more... Dee.

How could I have forgotton 

Off now for a family BBQ, just want I need, not!

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Lou and Adam
I am so very sorry to read your news, gutted doesn't come close.

I feel the same as you, what know ??, what cam they do to help us, seems like everything has been done, but i reckon it will happen hun, it has too, as like you I feel we can't give up just yet, cos I am sure there is a baby waiting for us somewhere, I think you will know when you are ready to give up, and by what you are writing you definetely aren't ready for that yet, all i can say is please give yourself time to heal.
thats what we are doing right now, having time to heal, i really feel for you hun, my heart goes out to you and Adam.

You know we are all here for you, and just have to say you sound amazing strong, I admire that so much

Take care Lou
Love and huge hugs
Jo
x x x


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## Dee (Jan 27, 2003)

Dear Lou

Sorry seems inadequate ... but I stuggle to find any words to tell you how sad I am that your dream hasn't come true.

Unexplained surely has to be one of the cruelest and unfair "badges" that any of us who dream for our own children can be tagged with. We are left in a constant state of bewilderment .. a constant state of wonder .. in reality all we have to hold on to is our dreams.

I often used to wish that I could walk into my clinic and they would say "Hi, sorry we made a mistake, we do know what's wrong and here's the magic pill that will make it all better". Unfortunately in the real world it was never going to be that way and "dreamland" was where we had to stay.

A miracle happened .. our dream came true. But, and it is a big "but" ... it was only possible for our dream to come true because we held on to it - we kept up the fight and for more than 10 years we lived in constant hope.

Your posts make it so so clear that you and Adam are not ready to give up the fight ... so speaking harshly, you need to give yourselves sometime to grieve for what should have been, pick yourselves up, dust yourselves down and get back on the rollercoaster and continue the fight to your dream coming true.
It won't be easy but you can do this! Don't think of the obstacles that you will face as problems, they are only challenges that you can overcome. And remember, all your Fertility Friends will be with you every step of the way!

I've been thinking of you all day ... sorry it has taken me so long to reply ... but I wanted to think of something to say or find some words that I thought may help you. I hope what I have said above does but I am also stealing someone elses words for you ......

_"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true." 
Woodrow Wilson
28th US President_

Take some time to nurse your pain ... then nourish, protect and nurse your dreams, hun. I believe that someday your time will come, one day your dreams will come true!

With love and hugs
Dee
xxx


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## Dee (Jan 27, 2003)

PS - And the same message goes to all my dearest Fertility Friends who are still dreaming ...... hang on in there ... keep up the fight - you can and you will make your dreams reality. xxx

And I know I keep going back to it ........ but it has seen me through most of the rough times in my life ..........

_When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

"Don't Quit," Author Unknown_


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## Fee (May 8, 2003)

You ladies are all brilliant.

Lou - I'm not the wordsmith these folk are - but I think Jac has said it. You are not ready to give up, and you would know if you were. I also think Julie-Anne's post is spot on too though - that if you did decide to go down the adoption route, you would love the child as if it were your own. When we were looking into adoption I read an article by a woman who had adopted and she said "(something like) I wasn't desperate for pregnancy, or labour, but I realised I was desperate for that little, trusting hand in mine" - and I realised that was exactly what I wanted, so we decided to go for it. 
If you don't feel that way - and you don't feel the IVF door has closed, then you are still on your way to your dream.
9 cycles is so cruel. But there are girls out there who've made it against all the odds.
I so admire you Lou - cos not many would have posted like you have today - thinking to thank others -worrying about Adam - still keeping the family together by going to the BBQ. You're a very special person, and you and Jo and Paula and Kim and Laine - and maybe even me - we'll all get there.

Heaps of love

Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Lou

I am so sorry to hear your news today. Believe it or not, I didn't think at the beginning that I would want to adopt, but when you find that point when you are ready to choose a different path, you might find yourself thinking about it in a different way, you just never know. The article that Fee talks about has been posted on the adoption board by someone, it is a good read.

Whatever you decide to do next has to be right for you and Adam, and whatever that is you know you will always have the support of your FF's.

Love
Karen x


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## Vicky W (Jun 24, 2002)

Lou

I'm really sorry. There have been some lovely and wise words on this board today, and we all wish we could wave the magic wand for you, we really do.

You are so brave, we all know what courage it takes to keep going, and you do have that courage, even if sometimes you are at rock bottom, you always pick yourself up.

Keep going, I don;t think you are ready to quit.

Love to you & Adam, you will get through and find the strength for the next step, I know you will.

Love Vicky xx


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## SueL (Mar 22, 2002)

Dear Lou

Haven't been able to log on since early morning, before work.

I have no words of wisdom, no ideas....... just gutted so god knows how you and Adam must be feeling.

I haven't text you cos you'll be too raw and words are difficult to express. But please know that I'm here if you want to talk, have a hug or ramble on but at the same time I don't want to be "in your face", so you know where I am, please call me if you need me. I'm so sorry.   to you and Adam.

What Jac has written is so true about adoption v giving up (don't know about me being inspirational!  but thanks Jac!). Jac has expressed it so much better than I ever could.

But at the moment you are probably facing a black hole, please hold on to how well you have coped through this cycle, bloody amazing - looking back a few months you would have struggled big time but you've done it. We've talked in the past few weeks about each hurdle on a different day, Lou - that doesn't change, different hurdles and different days, it may not be easy but break the days down.

You do need to grieve, let out your emotion, if you don't and you bottle it then that is painful for both you and Adam.

You're not ready to give up (from your posts) and I guess neither is Adam, the world we all inhabit has no definite answers and no magic cures....... sometimes it's down to luck, which is so hard to contemplate because why should one person be lucky rather than another. 

Dee and Jac - your posts have me in tears.

Love Sue
xxxx


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## maxbabe (Nov 12, 2003)

Ladies you have me in tears...amazing inspiration going on here...

Lou just wanted you to know how absolutely gutted I am for you, this time was not for you but I really hope you can somehow from somewhere keep the fight going.

Its hard to find the words just know we are all thinking of you right now, wish with all my heart you didn't have to go through so much pain to reach your dream.

All my love


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## *Kim* (May 5, 2002)

Lou

I am another late poster. I did send you a text this morning but now think i sent it to the wrong number. Sorry.

I feel gutted for you and Adam, i really believed this was going well for you and was going to work. I know i have Joe but i do understand your feeling of never seeing a positive test.It took me 21 years to see one. I have done so many in the past that i truly believed i would never see one.
I watched my younger sister go on and have 4 babies and it hurt.
I truly hope you get your reward soon you didnt deserve this result.
I know i am waffling i dont have the talent of saying the right words but you have had a lot of lovely well meaningfull posts tonight and i think they have covered everything.
I too admire you for what you have been through and believe your not ready to give up yet.

I hope the clinic can give you some answers too and i am also here if ever you want to rant or chat.

Love Kim x x x x


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## mmmbop (Jun 30, 2003)

JULIEANN            
lorry loads of love and luck coming your way for tomorrow,will be thinking of you,xxxx


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## mmmbop (Jun 30, 2003)

forgot the E
xxxxxx xxxxxx


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## sophie (Jun 2, 2002)

Dear Lou

Like the others I've been thinking about you all day today. I was in M&S and this woman was shouting at her kid who was misbehaving. It was all I could do not to go up to her and remind her how flipping lucky she is. So instead I bit my tongue and cried for you. Unfortunately we all know at least some of the pain you feel today.

I've also been thinking about something to help you keep going because I truly believe that you will have your own baby ( both you and Jo). 

Does it help to think about it like this - the Lister have discovered relatively recently that you have immune issues so most of your earlier cycles were never going to work because you weren't taking Heparin. This time they've discovered some genetic issues. The fantastic news about these 2 discoveries is that something can be done about them ie you can take the immune mediation and you can have PGD to check that you get the right ones transferred. So I wonder whether it helps to look at it another way - although you've had 9 failed cycles, your most recent one is the only one where you knew that the transferred embryos were OK and you were taking the immune medication. In other words you've really only had one failed cycle

OK I know that you've suffered the pain ( and massive expense) of 9 cycles but in terms of hope for the future your body hasn't had 9 failed cycles, really only one where it could feasibly have worked

No idea whether this helps you or not but I used to persuade myself that my 2 IUIs didn't count because I subsequently discovered that because I had a blocked tube it was extremely unlikely to have worked so it made me feel better to think I'd had less failed cycles

OK I've seriously rambled here but I hope you get my point!! PLEASE PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

Much love

Sophie
xxxx


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## Lilly (Apr 27, 2003)

dear lou 

what can i say hun im so very sorry ^cuddleup^ wish there was something i could do to make this all go away i really hope and pray you get your wish hun soon 
love always lilly xxxx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Dear Lou

I am thinking of you and hoping that you will not give up your dream - i know it's difficult and it hurts but one day i truly hope all us ladies get to see a positive test. We will drag each other through the bad times till we reach the end of that Rainbow.

Luv
LB
X


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## Julie Anne (Nov 12, 2002)

Hi all

Have come on here feeling a little down after Lou's news today and very negative and have read your inspirational posts and cried over some of them.

Dee I have printed your poem off and I am going to put it in my bag for tomorrow with rainbow ring and crystals and the good luck charm sent to us by juel and dave.

And Im going to be positive and think positive thoughts.
SueL thanks again for your call - wobble now sorted 

Anyway early start tomorrow - 5am to leave so have had last drink and now off to bed.

lots of love

julie anne xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Dee (Jan 27, 2003)

*Good Luck Julie Anne

Will be thinking of you today

Loads of Love
Dee
xxx
  *​


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## SueL (Mar 22, 2002)

Morning

Julie Anne - I know we spoke yesterday before you travelled but just wanted to say thinking of you now, hope the journey was good and that you are still feeling positive and that EC goes very well today. Speak later. xx

Lou - you're in my thoughts, take care.

Love to everyone
Sue
xxxxxxx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Julieanne


Good luck with EC today - i am thinking of you and praying that you have an easy time

you are a brave wee soul and we know you can do it

sending you much luv and a big sloppy 

LB
X


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## tjmac (Sep 14, 2003)

Good Luck today Julie-Anne . Hoping all goes well for you.
Thinking of everyone else.
Love Tj x


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## Hun (Jul 14, 2003)

Lou,
Just read your news. I am so sorry that it didn't work. 
Hun xx


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## Hun (Jul 14, 2003)

Julie Anne 

Good luck today!!

Hun xx


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## Pilchardcat (Feb 1, 2003)

Dear Julie Anne

Good luck sweatheart ....looking forward to your good news 

Loads of love
Amanda xxx


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## Mel (Jan 1, 2002)

* Girls and Boys 

There has to be some more of you that want to join us for a fab weekend away

We are having a:
GROUP BABY PICTURE  - Think this has to be a must now with so many miracles attending each meet 
QUIZ  - As always organised by Jac and Chase.
BBQ  on the saturday night - £20 per person (£10 deposit to Jamapot please). 
RAFFLE ^coolman^- We will be having this as usual - prizes to be confirmed.
GROUP PHOTO ^cuddleup^- We will have our group picture done - the last one was fab, so many people, it was fantastic.
PICNIC - Sunday lunch time in the grounds of Ettington, its bring your own goodies.
GAMES ^excercise2^- We will be having some summer games when we have the picnic for example a bit of rounders (if you have any other ideas let us know). 

So if you havnt booked yet hurry up and do so, it will be here before you know it *​
Follow this link:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/*********/index.php?


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hey Girls,

Like some of the others have said reading through the posts to Lou brought a tear to my eyes too. The words are just so good.

Julie Anne - Just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts x x o x x

Lou - Hope you are o.k today?

Jo - Thinking of you too.

Hello to all the other rainbowers x x 

I am now in the 2ww after getting a +ve opk 2 days ago. So as this is the last but 1 chance for us with Clomid, I am going to stay very positive.

Oh and Dee - My test date is 23rd June.

Laine x



Laine x


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## Cherub75 (May 22, 2003)

Hi rainbowers,

Lou ~ Hope you are feeling a bit better today. This site is so amazing, and like others have said, the words of wisdom for you have brought tears to my eyes. Huge ((((hugs)))) comig your way anyway.

Jo ~ I really hope you are ok sweetie.

Julie Ann ~ Hope everything went ok.

Laine ~ Good Luck on the 2ww. I really want a stork to deliver an extra special birthday gift your way.

Dee ~ How are you doing?

Fee ~ How are you? Back to normailty now? Say hi to Laura from me and Daniel 

Dawn ~ Hope you had a great time, and you are ok now you're back home.

Paula ~ How are you, hope work isn't too busy.

Hi to everyone else.

Well I am now officially on the rainbow boat. AF arrived this morning so can start taking my first Clomid tabs tomorrow, so Dee if you don't mind can I be moved up to the cyclers plaese  .

Love to all

Emma x  x


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## DawnJ (Sep 1, 2003)

Hello strangers,

No seriously, of course your not strangers, if anyone is then it is me for being absent for so long!

Lou and Adam.... I truly know that right now you both feel at the bottom of the hole and question quite rightly why didnt it work! We place so much hope with the assistance we ask for from the professionals and want to kick them when it doesnt work. Your pain and anger is justified and I so wish I could wave a magic wand and bring you the result that we all desparetely wanted for you both. I have some of the same unresolved issues and questions, which are never far from my mind despite trying to have a family for over 20 years. However, you are young, healthy and please see the unexplained as a positive that there is no reason why your dream wont come true. It just wasnt this time! When it does happen you will look back on this time and know there was a reason for the delay. hang on in there and never give up hope! I send much love as always to you both and hope that in time you will be able to see your way to trying again.

Julie Anne....Today of all days is my first day back posting and I hope with all my heart that this message will bring you the good luck that you so deserve. I have been thinking about you alot and checking on your progress even though from afar. Go fellow lister girl go!
(PS... so proud of you when you drove yourself to the ozzy.... feels so good, doesnt it?). FIngers x for you!

Jo... Hope you are doing ok Hun. Hugs as always to you!

Kim.... Thanks for the good wishes and welcome back. Did try to call last night as I know Paul would of told you, but I was off to the airport shortly afterwards to collect Mr Travells. Will call you over the weekend.

Laine... Keeping everything crossed for this time. Stay upbeat, it suits you! 

Paula... Well my girl.... look what happens when I go away and cant keep an eye on you. Trouble, trouble trouble. Glad all is sorted now though and looking forward to a mammoth phone call soon.

SueL.... How are you? Will call you for a chat soon but in the meantime sending love as always to you.

Emma... Thanks for the welcome back. Much appreciated.

To everyone else my apologies fore not mentioning you all personally but to be honest, I am too lazy to go back thru all of the mammoth postings you have been doing whilst I was away. I did try to read as much as I could but I did get a few dirty looks from the Library assistant in the hotel when I wanted to spend so long on line. Ho hum.... thats their problem.

News from me..... Had a wonderful time in Barbados and was spoilt totally. I wont post on here as it would take to long but suffice to say, I am feeling so much better. I hadnt realised until now, how tense and short tempered I had become (no funnies please). What with the situation with Mum and also trying to get my head round the failed cycle, I really had lost the plot.

With regards to the last tx it is no wonder it didnt work.
Mum had her fall 2 days after my ET and then her heart attack on the day I tested. As you know, Solo wasnt that strong anyway, so all in all, it just wasnt meant to be. The good news is though that I have just had my latest FSH and it has come back as 5.6. Cant believe it!  What to do next is the next question and despite lots of talking I am not sure I could do it all again. Defeatist I know, but maybe just not the right time and as I am no spring chick anymore, it is probably time to call it a day, just as we thought back a couple of months ago.n (Pete would like to try one more time but I also need to have my knee replaced and as I can not get upstairs without severe difficulty now, maybe that needs the priority.

Anyway, enough of my ramblings.... sorry!

Just want to say thank you too for all of the wonderful messages and keeping me on the rainbow thread even though I had disappeared for a while.

Off to get ready for the wedding tomorrow. Need a bath and a defuzz as well as a few other bits ato do for the big day.

Will post again at the weekend.

Lots of love,

Dawn xx


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## Dee (Jan 27, 2003)

Evening Rainbowers

Time to move on to our next happy home

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/*********/index.php?board=58;action=display;threadid=9493;start=0#lastPost

Loads of Love
Dee
xxx


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