# Poor Responder....part 21



## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

New home  

Happy chatting and lots of love and luck to you all    

Rachel x


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Thanks Rachel, can't believe we've written so much x


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Hope you feel better soon Nicks  xxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Just a quickie as cooking dinner , Mir and Laura- hope you're both ok x 

Hi to everyone else back later x


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## roozie (Mar 25, 2007)

hey, you chatterboxes are relatively quiet today...where is everybody? Work i guess! (kind of forgotten such things exist, in my indoor world of bed, bed and more bed)

LB, still wafting lots of   over to you. Hope work is helping you to get through each hour.    

Inc... feeling any cheerier this afternoon? I can really relate to what you were saying about feeliing stifled and useless, stuck at home. You always feel better getting out and doing something, so hope that's what you did! 

Swinny - how are you feeling today honey? A little bit less upset i hope...   

Nicks... sounds as tho' you may have escaped fall blown lurgy-dom then or have i spoken too soon? Hope course tomorrow goes ok, and isn't too much of a struggle with your coldy head. 

Merse, how you doing? Try not to get too bogged down about your sis - i know it must be really hard esp. as she's local, but sis or no sis you need to put yourself first right now and if she's not helping matters emotionally, perhaps a little bit of distance is a good ithing if you can manage it. 

Mir, how's you & Bob doing?I loved the image of you blasting your way home each nigth on fart power Save on pertrol, tho' maybe not great for the environment..? 

Gabs.... i really hope your appt. tomorrow goes ok and you're not feeling tooo nervous about it.... 

Beach, what's on the menu tonight then chefette? You wouldn't like to come here and cook me loads of meals on wheels would you? DH bless him is trying on that front but somehow don't feel all that hungry when i'm confronted with a meal he's made...  perhaps because i'm using up so llittle energy during the day and my stomach's so squished! 

Love to everyone else, back to bed for me... yippee...my time's up. Never felt as blobby or inhuman as i do at the moment but it know it's never been more important so i shouldn't moan. I get to go outdoors tomorrow as we have our 25 wk scan and another appt with the consultant... they'll hopefully suggest doing a steroid injection v soon just in case - think i'd feel slightly happier if they do that ASAP.

Roozxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Rooz- just had chicken poached with asparagus, mushrooms and parmentier potatoes...what's your address I'll come Thursday


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Good luck fro the scan Rooz....  How long have you been on bed rest?


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Inc- how are you?


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Whoo! A trip to the great outdoors! Still, at least you're at home and not been confined to a hospital bed. Pete's ex spent her whole second pregnancy in hospital. Ugh.

Only a few weeks to go! How many weeks early for triplets?

Merse - Nicks is right. No one gets it but us, unfortunately. It's because we're not terminally ill with IF, even though it feels worse sometimes - a short life is better than a pointless one. They just don't see why we would view a childless life as a pointless one. That may be completely insensitive to anyone with a terminal illness, and sorry if that's offended anyone, but the depression with IF is something no one will ever get unless they've been there, whereas we can all imagine what it would be like to be told we were dying - it's finite, where infertility is so vague.
We can only hope that one day we'll get there - that we'll be able to either have a baby or reconcile ourselves with being childless.
If all the babies and wealth in this world were shared out between the people who truly deserved it we'd all be very happy. 

Karen - I'm about to scrab bird - won't be long! Mmmmn, you like asparagus and parmintiers! Yummy! Pete just made me chicken and chips, but I want your dinner instead. Wanna swap?

Laura - did you test today? It's day 14 I'm guessing the subject's closed now...  

Nicks - hello! I can't believe you're just rounded. Am I just a fat basket?

Sarah - are you feeling a little better today? 

Everyone else - hello!

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

Still at work and tired.  

No testing, i only have one pee stick and so will just wait til Thurs to do it.  I know what the result will be.  I'm too busy to be worrying about it.

So whats happening on here??

Hopefully i will be home later for a proper chat. 

XXXX


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

LB - we all still have our fingers crossed   People have been wrong you know!   Why you working so late? Only one pee stick girl - that's no excuse - there are SHOPS!  
Mirra - know what you mean about IF.  I found it easier to deal with a family bereavement as other people had been there, knew how you felt and you didn't have to keep pretending everything was hunky dory. 
Am feeling positively 'thin' too these days as I have my bowels sorted!  
Beach - yum yum   You can cook when we go and stay in our Scottish lakeside retreat! 
Rooz - good luck for your trip out tomorrow!     Every day is a step in the right direction now. Hope they are keeping 3 neonatal beds free for your crew! Actually I think i have had the full on lurgy! Still symptomatic today and now getting a cough too. Hope the bub doesn't mind all my hacking! DH still isn't better and he's had the benefit of echinacea and Sudafed!  
Merse - what you doing tonight?  
Gab - bad enough day to warrant Asti?  
I'll be watching Property Ladder and Gordon Ramsay!
Love to all
NIcks


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Laura - I don't get how you can be so restrained! Even KNOWING as you do what the symptoms are you haven't bled and it's day 14! I've had such bad pains up till a week ago, and still at times now - and pregnancies can be so different in terms of symptoms.
Sigh - I know I'm wasting my breath and you're sitting there all resolute. If you are pregnant though, you know I'm going to drive to Essex with my best hat for you to eat, dontcha?

Nicks - I had a big explosion in the botty department last night and haven't felt pregnant since! I've been so swollen it feels hard to believe Bob's still in there now half of the bump's gone.
Please, please, please God he still is. I have the 12-week scan next Weds, at 11.5 weeks. If it's ok then I'll buy a doppler and put paid to all this blinking worry. How often are you using yours?

Inc - hello! Did you get out and about today? It is a wee bit easier when you do I guess, though I remember work stress was even worse when you were doing more hours.

I've scrabbed everyone! Took me ages as it's so slow, but I'm ready for more!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Mirra - good news on the scan! Doppler comes out about every other day - its so reassuring   Deffo recommend it. I'm sure you haven't pooed Bob out!   
NW


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

As I thought! Every other day seems about right. I will be too, God willing.

Are you feeling better?

xx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Evening girlies.....Just got home...thanks for the support about tomorrow...having tea then will be back on afterwards....xxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Mir- sorry can;t swap dinners tongiht, ate nibe ages ago...I'll try and scrabble again,it's very slow

Nicki- more than willing to come and be your chef.   

Laura- good luck for test    

Hiya Gab x


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Went just to buy some groceries... But I think my addiction to ff is unhealthy and will need to curb it and get more work from Jan... and especially after ttc...


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Inc   we all need sometimes to talk to each other x


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

right beach...  how are you ?


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Very tired, jsut watching Holby and waiting for mum and dad to phone from Dominican then off to bed...busy day tomorrow at work and got a long meeting.


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm home.

Mirra - Ithink I may be driving down to Devon with my hat?!  Just did preg test..Neg.  And just started bleeding, well brown discharge (sorry tmi).  Hmm thinkI'll bring down a nice bobble hat!!

Rooz -  

Nicks- Glad you feeling little better.  

Inc - I get addicted to FF too!!

Beach- Hope work isn'ttoo rubbish tomorrow!

Gab- I'm veggie...what you gonna cook me?

Well as you can imagine I feel like a huge turd.  I wish I could just curl up and die...I won't I will drink my nice wine and watch gordon, but I feel like I should just die.  Whats the point of carrying on this dismal crap life where all I do is work?  Tim is out soI will have to tell him when he walks in and his little face will drop and I will feel even more crap.


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Is today the test day Laura?


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Today is 14dpo which is day AF due, officla day is Thurs.


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

I feel similar only with an added guilt feeling to have wasted 10 yrs on stupid things i/o having kids...You were trying on time and doing  your best.  And I repeat you are v. young and you should take stock and decide what's next... ..

Take care of yourself...


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hon, I am sure you weren't wasting those years, you were just waiting til you were in a postision to give a child all the things it needs.  Believe me I wish I'd just worked in tesco and had a baby with some random bloke when I was 17!  X


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Laura sorry hon  Does AF always start this way? Just thinking it may not necessarily be AF?
xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

That's a thought Merse... Many have spotting and get a bfp...  

Having a bloke from Tesco at 17     puts things in perspective...


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Ew - bobble hat. Chewy. I'm so sorry, Laura.

Do you get any more NHS goes?

Here - have an enormous . I know it won't make it better, but have one anyway.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Inc - When you do have a baby,you will be a rounded person who has a home and a safe place and 2 loving parents to offer.     Inc can I pick your brains about CREATE?  Is there a min stim thread?  What drugs do they use?  And on top of the £2.2k for IVF how much in extras? I think when I called them they said you had to pay for bloods and some scans?  And of course consult.

Merse- No its normally just red but I guess the cyclogest is stopping it from arriving properly.

Mirra- No thats the end of the NHS, although worth a email moaning about my EC being cancelled, the consultant is lovely and may be worth a shot.

X


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

You'll get there, L. It's just a bloody long, hard road.

x


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Evening ladies, will do quick personals then post again as wireless acting up

Laura... ... .... ....you are naughty thought girlie dont give up yet... ...lots of people spot and get a BFP...x

Merse -  ...Hope you feel better soon...sorry about all this trouble with sis.... we are here for you honey....good luck for scan.... 

Mir - Hope you are well..no doubt that doppler will get hammered.... 

Nics - Hope you feel better soon....so no longer xs just yellow small pjs now... 

Roozie - Enjoy the fresh air tomorrow take care....xxx 

Pin -  ...take care..xx

Odette -  

Loubella -  

linziloo -   

Swinny -    ..thinking of you...xxxx

Beach - sorry it was chicken curry but i do cook a mean one..... ....Meetings......


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Laura I really hope it isn't AF but if it is I'm interested in a natural cycle too? But will wait to see what scan brings Mon.   xxx


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

P.S Hi everyone else and scrab is driving me mad tonight so bloody slow! xxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

gab- Thanks hon,but I'm pretty sure its over.

Mirra- I'm fed up of struggling up the big hill....


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Yeah, I know  

But the alternative isn't what you want either. Take time out to get completely steaming then get back to it when you've got your puff back.

There's a baby at the top of that hill.

xx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Laura - they charge for a consultation £140.  Scan day 5 of cycle was £150 but gone up to £200 now...
Medication is 150 gonal f + buserelin but you can also have an antagonist protocol ie gonal f + cetrotide if you want... She seems to prefer the one with buserelin for poor responders...she has theories on this..

One blood test to check estradiol £ 48.  You don't have to source medication from them ... U can use Fazeley or Ali - have checked are a lot cheaper... Ali is based in Shagwell...E1   

I paid for meds £ 750, but wouldn't source from them again as they are expensive... Cf 300 pen cost 94 with Fazeley and £ 150 from Geeta... Can pass on the details if and when needed...

That's good - thinking about future attempts...  go on girl... DH v. negative about donor egg, me v scared so don't know about the parenting bit... We may have wasted our best years and dh is 45 already...
I feel v. old chronologically...


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Well ladies,

got in from work last night and dh had said woking had been trying to get into contact with us and left a msg on phone...msg was could we change our appointment from 1030 to 0930 as it would really help them out...if we could ring up and confirm...

anyway it was too late last night to ring up..so dh rang up today to say unfortunately we couldnt change our times as it takes us 1 1/2 hours to get there so we would have to leave at stupid oclock to miss all the morning traffic and also arrange childcare for ds in the morning before he went to school....(it wasnt fair on ds getting messed about again)....when dh told the clinic this they said that the appointment had already been changed to 0930 (absolutely WITHOUT CONFIRMATION)...bearing in mind this is a Private clinic as they all are...

My dh then says that we cannot make it for 0930 and could we still come at our 1030 appointment and wait for the cons hopefully he would have finished his surgery by 1045/1100 or so the receptionist said...anyway receptionist then said that he would have to hold on while she checked other than that we might have to reschedule...

ok a few things here....yesterday was far too short notice about an appointment on wednesday that they knew about weeks ago..

I work as a theatre list and know theatre lists are done in advance even if its short notice...they could have told us last week....

The NHS would at least have the courtesy to wait for confirmation before changing an appointment time and im sure doc nics will back me up here...and this is a bl**dy private clinic.

You can imagine what my dh would have said if we had to reschedule as i had to book the day off work and so did he...

Anyway if our rocket was big before....its now the size of Apollo...we aint happy....

let me add that my dh asked what time we went into theatre and they said 0930...which was rubbish as my dh remembers watching tele with me and speaking to the nurse just before ten as we were worried I hadnt gone down....so i might even ask to see the theatre log as all operations are logged in there and hopefully they wont have changed the times there...

what do you think girlies....?


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Gab- I honestly think these clinics just have us over a barrel,  they take our money and muck us about.  

Mirra - As your at the top already  maybe you could roll a few of them babies down to us lot

Ah.. my cat is  giving me a lovely cuddle.


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

I reckon they're taking the p!ss, frankly. Bloody terrible treatment. And this arsing about with your FU appt is just the cherry on the icing on the sh!tty cake.

Yep - give em a huge rocket right up their tiny, pinched, cellulite-covered arses. I would.

Gawd - makes me so mad when people treat you as if you're stupid!

Don't stand for it - give em hell. The HFEA need to know - they can't treat peoplelike that. If it was someone more naiive they'd get away with it too.  

So, the upshot is... are you going at 10.30?

Laura, I'm nearing the top! Still don't feel confident. But when I finally get there I'll roll down a set of quints for you all.

xx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

We are going in at 1030...and hope that Mr cons finishes his list by then...I tell you Mir even if I wasnt going to Turkey.....(fingers crossed.... )....i definately wouldnt be going back there again...we are in the middle of our letter of complaint and will be adding to it now ofcourse....thanks for yr comments..sometimes i just think Im being bitter because we werent successful but i think we have a right to be peeved this time...


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Mirra-  Twins will be fine! 

Gab - Yeah so what time you going?  

Maybe I should get another kitten?


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Gab - agree with Mirra on taking the p*ss!   You haven't agreed to the new time - how dare they. Good mind to turn up and rant and rave in front of everyone. That is absolutely unbelievable to do that. I expect its your consultant double booked or wants to do something else after which will make him more money. Ask him how he intends to re-imburse you both for a whole day's lost earnings. ******    
LB -    Sorry hun. Sorry sorry sorry   I can only say I know how it feels - we all do. As MIrra said its good if you can keep struggling up that hill - the gain at the end is so worth it. You will get there   
Off to bed now anyway.
Love to all  
NW


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Can I have one too Mir?
Gab you are not bitter you were treated badly remember that!! 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Night Nicks hope you feel better tom!  xx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

why do they change it to 'person who tosses' when it uses the same word that it doesn't want me to use - stupid program.   It should change it to person who throws something up in the air to be pedantic
night Merse!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

aaawwww....go on then.....we got another puppy who is now...1 year old....our house consists of 2 tortoises, 2 budgies, 2 guniea pigs and 2 golden retriever male dogs....just some company for ds....its the ark isnt it not a house.....! 

anyway we are going in about 1045...dont think cons knows what we are going in for , i think he thinks we are asking about another treatment cycle...hence the follow up...well we will let him say his piece..then ill let dh give his views...im best just sitting sweetly in the corner...may have to double my fluoxetine....so i dont get upset...im determined not too.......


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Nah, you're not bitter - I didn't feel any bitterness toward the Lister when I had my negative, but I really felt it with the Winterbourne and we only had the sperm aspiration there.

Good on you for going for it - it took me 18 months to complain about our rubbish treatment.

Ha! you've heard it from a proper clinician there - Nicks should know. It's not acceptable. They should reimburse you for the whole cycle including days off and petrol I think. And the extra Asti at the end of all that sh!te.

Yes, Laura - a new kitten seems a great idea! I'd like to fill the house with pets, but Pete wouldn't have it. Says three are enough. Never!

Speaking of pets, did we lose our new cat loving PR recruit from the other day? Where did she get to?

Are you there dear?

Merse - can you grab one or two of the quints? I'm not very good at bowling, so you'd better get a net to catch them.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

I had that the other day! I think I'll stick to the word winkers from now on...

Night night Nicks
x


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

******


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

How did that get through Laura?
Mir I'll catch it don't worry about that!
xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Naughty! How come we're not allowed the toss word, yet wanking's ok?


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Ooops - don't start all that again, or we'll get smacked bums!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Bet it gets changed!!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

OPs I just typed a rude word...I though you meant it automatically changed it.  Sorry mods 

Gab- You have a tortoise!!!!!!  I have always wanted a tortoise!!  Iwould loveone.   But we only live in a one bed flat.   1st thing I will buy when I move.

I can't get a kitten, I already have too many pets in a little flat!

blimey = 4 replies??!!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Just noticed I've got loads more bubbles thanx girls  xxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Tortoises don't need that much space, surely? Just leaves and things? Maybe you could get some terrapins?

Did you think they'd change that word to person who tosses, too?  

Merse - get a big net. When I'm up there I'll grab every one I can and start bowling babies.


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Laura - we kept our tortoises in a vavarium.... ...dont know if that is spelled correctly....until they were about 3...they are still too small for the garden until there are 3 years old...so you could still get one now...he/she wont grow too big in the next few years...so you could keep them in a tank.... 


oohhh you are so naughty you lot....im away dh is on the case and we are amending letters....

Inc...my dear Inc..Im so sorry god i always somehow manage to miss someone...hope you are well honey...take care and remember 2008 is the start of new things and a new year honey.... 
thinking of you..... 

nite..nite..chicks will catch up with scrab later...xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Gab-  I have 2 cats, 2 rabbits, a marine tank, a fresh water tank and 2 hamsters!!   Dont think tim will let me have any more.


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

my dh would love to get a fish tank....marine or freshwater... ....after a few...  we agreed oh well not yet....so better not let him see yr post.....


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

good luck gab - they are a bunch of ******* there by the sound of it..


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

You seriously need to move somewhere you can get more critters! Weren't you planning on moving? Do I remember that right?

xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well the marine tank is beautiful... I have a blue crab in there...he is so cute,he always makes me smile.

Tim said we can get a kitten!!!  But I think he may be drunk!  

Mirra - Yeah we need to move, but tim just got promoted so we can't for a while. 

Tim came in and seems to have decided that adoption is the way forward for us?


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

I think I will have to move from this house as it all started going downhill since we moved in 5 yrs ago... My post redundancy depression after 10 months of nasty bullying  (wander how I could have thought that was devastating...was just a breeze in comparison with this... ), my cancer scare and now this if malarky...5 yrs of ****e..  Think I need a new scene with a big kitchen and an extra bedroom for a kid...that I still haven't got, but anyway...    
Will send my forms to the Reprofit tomorrow and at least get that out of the way...  Then I have a plan B and sth to think about if jan is another bfn...


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

O...K... Has he ever mentioned it before?

I think a kitten's a better idea while you still have eggs, me darling. Don't think you'll put it behind you unless you try that one more time.

But then, I could just be speaking for myself - I never wanted to adopt. I'd rather have adopted animals.

Is he willing to give IVF one more go?

I always wanted to foster children, but Pete wouldn't have it.

Inc - a house move is very cleansing. I want to move mostly for financial reasons, but also that I was so depressed here when we first moved in. I love the village though, so it would be nice to move within the village.

When are we getting our loch-side retreat?

xx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

....Thanks Inc just cant believe you get this s**t from a Private clinic...and Its Woking too which is meant to have a really good reputation.....NOT...!!!!

Laura - Just wait and see Mrs..  .....I know its always good to have a Plan B...but hold fire until you need to take the next step...ok...... 

Mir - Asti hasnt worked going to have another...i still cant believe they have treated us like that....like you said prob if i wasnt nursing or dh wasnt bothered...they would get away with it....sometimes ignorance is bliss...but sometimes knowledge is helpful and sometimes BUT not always it stops people taking the P**s but obviously not in this occasion..xxx

Merse - Do you like yr Bubbles to end in 7...because id like to send you some too...... ......looked after a woman today who had had 17 laparoscopys who was younger than you and I so it does put things into perspective sometimes...our 3 and 4 doesnt sound a lot at all does it?...xxxxx


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

We are def moving in the new year I've spent 5 years in this house and 5 years trying for a baby! Need to focus on something else and this house has only seen tears!!
Mir when r we all going?? xx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

God, SOON, I hope. We can all take it in turns looking after the triplets, plus Olivia, Nicks Jr and Bob.

Do you know where you're moving to?


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

me too!!!!!

We hope to move eventually aswell...all we need to do now ladies is win the lottery......


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Gab I used to like the number 7 as I was born on the 7th but I have to say 2007 has been a terrible year for me so any number will do! xxxxxxxxxxxx (Oh and I was born in 1970 and I'm 37 so this should have been a good year??) x


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Merse...where are you moving to honey...


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Mir we live in Basingstoke but hope to go to a village in between Basingstoke and Reading! xx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

We're all on the move in '08! Hooray!

A village sounds lovely - I do like village life.

Gab - you finished that letter yet?


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

You know what.,.. I have looked at my email that I had in draft folder for the Reprofit and I have just sent it accidentally... So, the deed is done...


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

sorry Merse...got a bit carried away there..... .....anway nite nite...ladies got to get some sleep so im ready to be  ....in the morning....im a big wimp and will prob not say anything but Im going to be thinking of you all girls.....you will be in my thoughts and im determined not to get upset in front of the Winker..... ........g...night...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxlots of big sloppy ones.....xxxxxx

P.S lots of big sloppy ones for Mr Merse too......


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Merse - so you thinking of nat IVF too??  Sorry brain not working! Didn't pickup on that earlier.

Mirra - Yes we have always said we would adopt (before IF) as well as having our own.. we are hippy do-gooders.  I just want to be preg too and experience birth.  Would you not consider adoption for a sibling?  And yes, we have thought of fostering a child with learning disabilities too just these where options before that we liked rather than...'all we could achieve' kind of changes things a little although it really shouldn't.  I think we will try with a differnet clinic though.  I don't think barts is great and so I don't want to rite myself off just on them.  Think I owe myself that.

Gab - Another glass??  did you not say you were off to bed?!   

7 replies!!!  That must be a record!!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Inc -  ...I know its a horrible saying but things do happen for a reason honey....       ......PMA......xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

def ...going to bed now......bbbbbbbbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii......xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

We're all up late! It's waaaay past our PR bedtime you know.

Inc - gasp! That sense of panic when you send something you didn't mean to. Still, it's not as if you've committed to anything. You can breathe!

Laura - that's great you have that agreement already. So you have a plan, of sorts. 

Right - I'm off to bed.

Speak tomorrow!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Inc- Fab...so reprofit is your donor option.... great that you are being so organised! Girl after my own heart!

Can I just ask...does anyone's dh get involved in the investigation of what to do next.  For us I get all the info and discuss with tim all the options once I've chosen them.  And he always goes along with my plan!  Is this normal or is tim not interested?


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Mine doesn't... Does exactly like yours...


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Inc- I think our DH's are twins!!


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

I now feel v. strange having sent that form.... Dont dare mention it to dh....     Gasp     
I also feel strangely relieved as I would never had the guts to do it really... Now I can just forget about it and change my mind later    
Yes, they must be twins Laura...


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Inc - you've not commited yourself to anything, its just an email.


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## loubella (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi everyone, sorry it's been a while - went back to work today, not been in for 3 weeks after the depression of another failed cycle but feeling a lot more positive now (thanks to you guys).  Was actually glad to go back.

Gab - Hi there, wow you have a lot of pets, 2 golden retrievers as well - have you ever read 'Marley & Me'?

Laura -  From what I've been reading on here I think all men are the same when it comes to this - I often wandered the same but I just think they want us to be happy and don't want to put any more pressure there.

I wanted to send you all a little message but everytime I check there is another 5 posts & now you're all going to bed so will have to post it now - sorry guys. 

To all of you that are moving in 2008 -  I think it is a very good idea, at the beginning of my first cycle I looked into 'chi' & they are right about what they say about having the right energy.  It really could make all the difference.


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

They will start looking for a donor, though...and ask me for money and all that...


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## loubella (Nov 29, 2007)

Did anyone just see that on bbc news just about 'baby-granting miracle chair'?

Inc - I think it's a good thing you sending that email - it was accidently so it could be fate.


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## Swinny (Jul 10, 2007)

Hiya girls

Feeling much brighter today as I made a load of decisions and put things into motion. I wrote to my Consultant at LWH and thanked him for his time and expertise but said that I didn’t think there was much point in another follow up as logistically CARE in Manchester would be the best place for private treatment and so I asked if he could simply send me our test results from LWH and I would pay for them. I also contacted CARE and asked for a cycle in January so that’s on the move too. Now that I’ve sorted plan B I am back to feeling better and more focused.

Merse – Thanks for your message hun. How are you doing now. Are you feeling any better? What are your plans?

Inc – I have never had counselling but I think that I would probably benefit from it too. You’re right about your life being on hold that’s exactly how I feel too. Are you going to have another go in January?

Emma – Hiya hun. Thanks for your message. I am just going to keep doing what I have been doing and hope to god my FSH is low enough in Jan to have a cycle.
That Christmas tree of yours sounds like a whopper. I am going to get ours this weekend to cheer me up.

Gabs – Thanks hun you are a sweetie. I allowed myself one day to be a miserable cow and then gave myself a firm boot up the jacksy and sorted myself out. Sounds like you had a mare yesterday. Cheeky ba**ards, if you are paying privately, you expect top class treatment. Its bang out of order!

Laura – When is official test day? Don’t give up yet, its not over till its over. You are just protecting yourself I know but its not for defo yet. Have your AF symptoms got worse? Take care of you xx

Mirra – Yeah you’re right bu**er the NHS. I spoke to Karen from IVF World last night and had a good chat to her. She is having a cycle at CARE now so I got a load of info from her about how they do things.

Nicks – How are you feeling chicky? Look after yourself xx

Beach – What’s for tea tonight chuckles. You always seem to have nice teas. Can I come for mine?

Roozie – Big hugs hun, hope you’re not going too mental on your bed rest. I should give you my friend’s number as she’s having twins and is on complete bed rest and she is climbing the walls.

Hello to everyone else and thanks for all of your wonderful support, I really do appreciate it.

Can I just ask, The receptionist asked me whether we wanted to buy our drugs from them and I said no that I’d like a prescription because I remembered you all mentioning someone on here who was much cheaper for the drugs. Can anybody give me the details of who that was?

Thanks girls, your all Bobby Dazzlers

Sarah xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Swinny (Jul 10, 2007)

Inc & Laura

Just re-read your recent posts and can my DH be a triplet? I went into organisation mode yesterday and Paul just nodded and said great to what I'd arranged. I always do all of the research and then Paul just agrees to what I think is the best way forward. It frustrates me sometimes as he hasn't got a clue, but by the sounds of things he's not on his own.

Inc - Well done you for taking that step. If things don't go well for me in January I will be right behind you. Just rememebr nothinbg is set in stone so you can change your mind.

Big hugs
Sarah


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Swinny said:


> Hiya girls
> 
> Feeling much brighter today as I made a load of decisions and put things into motion. I wrote to my Consultant at LWH and thanked him for his time and expertise but said that I didnt think there was much point in another follow up as logistically CARE in Manchester would be the best place for private treatment and so I asked if he could simply send me our test results from LWH and I would pay for them. I also contacted CARE and asked for a cycle in January so thats on the move too. Now that Ive sorted plan B I am back to feeling better and more focused.
> 
> ...


Hi

There is a "sticky" thread at the top of this IVF board called "where to buy cheap drugs". If you have a read through that you will find several contact details for various suppliers who you can contact to get quotes...

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=9821.0

Good luck
Natasha


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Minxy- new pic?


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

beachgirl said:


> Minxy- new pic?


Yep...decided it was time for a change and was bored at looking at me at 4 years old ! Have cheated as this one's a couple of years old !


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Laura hows you today hon?
Sarah good you've got a plan and are moving ahead!
Gab how did follow up go?
Having a **** day again today bumped into someone I knew years ago and they asked if I had any kids!!!!!!!!!!!! So had to explain, then my sis has had her 12 wk scan and has emailed me that shes telling everyone now so got to deal with that! Also my mum emailed so I replied and I told her to stop emailing me and try to support me however she can!! Bloody families!!!
Hope everyone OK? xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Hi Merse,

Thanks for asking just got back after some crimbo shopping... nothing like retail therapy to cheer one up....about the follow up where to start.......

first of all we went in and listened to what he thought about last cycle....we mentioned that we thought i had ovulated but he said there was no free fluid so even though i was late down i hadnt ovulated...pants thought id got him on that one...

anyway about the transfer he agreed that they hadnt been very sensitive about the transfer and that all he could do was have a chat with the team...he just kept saying im very sorry for making you feel like that....well Im sorry Mr Cons...sorry doesnt cut it......he mentioned the lead nurse calling us next week, we have decided to put in a complaint letter and hope that we may recieve some compensation for this....EVENTUALLY.....

about advice after the cycle...in one breath he said...pointless carrying on with IVF as we would get the result again...then in the next breath he said...prob need to do one more cycle...to accept closure to the situation....MAKE YR MIND UP.......he then stated that we could book an appointment in the new year to discuss this with him...my dh said well, we shall think about it......NO CHANCE...

he said that he would change drugs from menopur to gonal f on a SP as quality seemed better with gonal f....you dont need a degree in IVF to make that decision we even came up with that...!!!!!!!

he said he was sorry that we had lost faith in the clinic and he hoped that this wasnt goodbye and to think about what we wanted to do over crimbo....

I was well proud of myself...... ....I kept saying that it was undignified,....not sensitive to my feelings at all, I as a nurse would never treat a patient like that....and it was well out of order....i asked him if this was usual practice and had he had any complaints...he said he had been in this situation before but noone had actually told him how they felt after wards....so he was surprised at my comments...WHAT...

He then gave us the biggest insult ever by saying ....DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO A COUNELLOR about what happened.....!!!!....I wouldnt need to chat to a counsellor about what happened if they had dealt with the situation in a professional manner in the first place....

He still couldnt answer the question as to why my oestrogen was at 4600, lining 15mm and only 2 immature eggs..considering my follicles ranged from 18 - 22mm.NO SURPRISE THERE..kept saying IVF was a lottery...and i kept thinking aaahhhh and we have shed loads of money....NOT

We were reading his body language and arms were crossed....legs were crossed and he looked very uncomfortable...

well ref the change of appointment..he said that the sec did this for his benefit because he was in theatre that morning...well excuse me you knew you would be in theatre weeks ago...when this appointment was booked...and what are we paying you....chocolate buttons......!!!!!!!!

anyway Im going to post this before i lose it again...any comments would be greatly appreciated guys...as we will be doing the letter tonight...

will be back on later with personals.....

lots of love.....my FF....take extra special care....Gab...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Hi all!
Merse - why do people have to ask that?   If people have kids it usually becomes clear within a few minutes of conversation - some people are just nosey and insensitive.   I did do a bit of bubbling yesterday for everyone   - was bored!  
Swin - will you cycle whatever your FSH in Jan?   And is that private?
Inc - maybe its for the best you sent that email  - it prob takes alot longer than you think. Do you have to pay to go on the waiting list - some kind of deposit?
LB - how are you today? Did AF come?   Kitten sounds perfect - love them   Would you still adopt rather than donor eggs?
Rooz - hope its gone OK.   got laptop yet?
Gabs - waiting for full report. 
Loubs - hi there! LB talks about some chair in a pub that's meant to get you preggers - is that the one?
Mirra - can't believe you get up so early and are still going at 11pm!  
Well I went to work today on a course so not too bad. Finished early ish. Feel very coldy and snotty still but actually not too unwell today so that's good.   Going to skip my admin day tomorrow and hopefully back Friday for some tedious plastics case   My DH wasn't involved in any of the IF decisions but I think that's cos I'm medical and just did all the research and then told him what was what!  
Love to all 
nicks


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Sorry Gabs we posted at the same time!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Winker......


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Gabs - was just reading back through your posts - you got 2 eggs out of 6 follies? what went wrong with the transfer? You did quite well in numbers of follies its just that dreaded thing when you don't get an egg and no-one seems to have a straight answer to that. hope you have better luck next time


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

ref transfer well basically what happened was...

we got a call on the tuesday to say one egg fertilised.....our appointment was for 0815 the next day........
anyway we got there met the fert nurse who was all joking with us etc...went to the transfer room...got asked to go to the toilet , get undressed etc and put on my lovely blue paper towelling around my waist as you do...go on the transfer chair waiting for the cons...cons comes in good morning..etc smiling no other comments made..then the embroylogist manager came in and said unfortunately we have some bad news the egg though fertilised has not started to divide yet...what do we want to do...

at this point i got a bit upset....felt very vulnerable..as i was half naked..sitting on the chair...why on earth did they not take us to a side room, explain the situation before we went into the transfer room and then ask us what we wanted to do BEFORE i went in the room and got undressed....
we felt really backed into a corner...dh looked upset too and said what are our options...embroylogist said transfer today or come back tomorrow....well it would have been nice to be notified before we arrived at the clinic that morning..it isnt just up the road you see....cons could not look at us....we said what do you think...he said i think it isnt happy in the dish and needs to be inside...little did i know that the chances of a egg dividng that hadnt divided on the second day even to a 2 cell was very minimal...a coleague of mine...cons gynae who used to be in the IVF field said that usually they dont transfer an egg untill it has divided unless it is GIFT etc...

I looked at my dh and he said well lets just go for it you are undressed now...so we went ahead with et...i then did my gesone Im injections for 2 weeks nic...but i knew in my heart it wouldnt work...so my argument is that we could have avoided that heartache and false hope by waiting another day to see if the egg would divide or not..

dont know what you think?.....you know considering I have had my ds...and you know how many internals you get when you are PG...I said i have NEVER felt like I did that day and Im a bl;**dy nurse who is used to things like this..i do gynae theatres for gods sake...)sorry and i still felt vulnerable...undignified etc...he certainly wouldnt treat one of his fert nurses like that would he?

sorry for waffle....but it feels good to get it off my back now....and we sort of have a bit of closure on the whole thing...if you know what i mean...Im still puting in a complaint letter...what do you think?....another thing is that the first scheduled couple that was due in for transfer hadnt turned up so we were taken in early...so i reckon they rushed us in so that they could catch up the clinic etc...did not spare a thought about our feelings at all.....it is just so insensitive or am i being overreactive...
its not because of the BFN...its the way we were treated, i said i was going to drop it and not say anything but felt that i had to that some other poor woman wasnt treated like that.in the future...xxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

as a doc...nics it wasnt professional at all...was it what do you think?


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Gab-   never realised it was as bad at that  

Will try and get back soon, we've had one of Al's colleagues stay for dinner so don't want to be rude.


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

It was handled badly Gab...and you were right to tell him so...  I think we are often brought up to defer to various authority figures ie doctors, teachers, you name it....and often get served poorly as a result...I certainly wish I had questioned my consultant at the UCH as to what was the point of doing iuis with one follicle... Cost a lot of money and distress and with my dh's sperm had a zilch chance of working... But I trusted his professional judgement... Sometimes our instincts tell us more than professionals can and I felt panick for wasting my time and was proven right...

No doubt there are some good drs out there but some are crap with no bedside manner so to speak....

Sarah - good you made the decisions..It feels a bit better and you probably feel a bit more in control... Yes, I will cycle in January, although wandering where I will find the strength...

Laura - hope you are taking it easy....

Nicks - good to hear that you are feeling better... are you a doctor or a nurse then... am I getting things wrong?

Merse - families can be a nightmare... How old is your sis?  

Lou - good to hear that you are feeling more positive...

Mir - hope you are well...

I dragged myself to the local shopping center and tried not to spend the whole day glued to ff...but had to check of course as soon as I came back... I think counselling is in order as I am sleeping far too much... My body must be trying to recuperate... Will try to throw in some exercise if I can... Feel v. old and never felt like it before...


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Thanks....Beach....& Inc...... ...I thought so too...away to have some pork chops and pepper sauce....... ...catch up later...xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Gabs - that is terrible I agree.   
We had a similar situation with our first IVF - 2 embies, one was two cell and one hadn't divided. We had it put back anyway in the end although I think they wouldn't normally do this. But...we were taken into a sideroom before getting changed etc to chat to the embryologist (in fact I think this was routine and is obvioulsy good practice). how can they expect you to make the decision when you are changed and ready to go and upset for that matter?    
i would deffo take it up with the clinic - it sounds to me like not very good practice from the embryologist. 
Also where I have been it is done in op theatre and I had a gown on - its terrible if you just had paper towel. in fact its despicable. Especially when you care about maintaining patients dignity in your own job and they jsust treat you like that. 
Get it all in writing hun. I wish you luck - my clinic have been really unhelpful and unprofessional in dealing with my complaint and that's from a consultant who knows what she's talking about - they will try and deny everything. my was very personal to the consultant involved so I should have taken it up directly with him - private medicine makes it very difficult to complain (he's going to get a personal letter when I've had a bit of advice from the general medical council). 
anyway have a nice evening and forget it for a bit. Its all in the past now. Letters make me feel better but I think its all part of the healing.   
Enjoy pork chops - that's almost in Beaches league!  
nix


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## roozie (Mar 25, 2007)

hello...it's Bed Head here!

oh, LB, i wish i could say something that would make a jot of difference but i can't. You're such an inspiration to anybody going throuhg this sh*tty PLIGHT - you deserve sooo much to get there in the end and you will. No wonder you're feeling totally out of steam, anybody would be towards the end of a tx cycle, you'd be a robot if you didn't. But knowing you, you'll be planning the next plan of attack v soon... in fact, you already are aren't you?!      

Gabs... blimey! You and your DH socked it to them.   Well done for getting that off your chest and making them aware of your feelings. Your treatment there sounded pretty awful and you have every right to voice that -  whether or not they compensate you, it will have been a therapeutic exercise, i'm sure. DH and I had to complain about an aspect of our tx at the Wessex (Merse knows all about it, 'cos she led the way on that one..!) and it paid off - but had we remaine silent, we'd only be harbouring our frustrations and making ourselves feel worse so glad that we did. It can never hurt to try. Anyway, forget it now, and unwind a bit tonight...! 

Swinny - really glad you're sounding so much more +ve chick - i admire you for that. A plan is definitely the way to go and you're certainly not hanging about! Good on ya.  

 to everyne else... i must just go and eat, (Beach, where are you... stop tempting me with all that scrummy sounding Beachy food!!) but will sneak back on later to update you quickly on the appt+ scan we had today..all generally ok but have a few concerns with - guess what- the treatment we're getting!!!

R xx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

I'm back, just did fajitas for quickness tonight x


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Rooz   keeping us all in suspense! Expect update when you have fed the brood  
NW


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Gab do you feel better for getting it all off your chest to him?
Aw Nicks don't cry for us, you enjoy your bump! 
Laura hon 
Rooz update please
Inc good you got out!
Beach is your guest there all eve?
Well I had an email back from my Mum saying she was really cross as she'd supported me all the way through and that I needed counselling to move on, she wasn't going to argue with me and she would ring me! So I emailed back that I wasn't talking about the past I needed it now and that perhaps I should have counselling as nobody else gets it!! The thing is she has been really supportive and I love her dearly but she doesn't get that I need her now more than ever I think she has backed off to let me deal with it? Oh I'm so confused I never really have a crossed word with my family but I do feel left in my misery!!!
Hi to all lol xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Where is everyone tonight? xxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Merse- no he went ages ago, just out of bath and having a glass of wine, really needed it after today, well I confess, a third glass of wine


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

I'm on my 3rd too!!! Think I may book some counselling tom spending too much time in tears!xxxxxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Merse- come and talk to me, I even supply wine free....just had a mini disagreeement with DH about my work, he says that for what I get paid I leave too early on a morning and get too much hassle...had one of the consultants having a go at me this moment saying I'd collated the wring info about a patient, it was him who'd got the patient mixed up!!!!!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

I'd love to come and talk to you but you could be a bit too far away!!! 
Do you get paid enough to put up with that ****? 
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Merse- I get paid peanuts for what I do...couldn't hack it 5 days a week it would drive me insane, don't even get to park on site, have to park ona  side road nearby.


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Why don't you look for something else xxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

I have done but then don't bother applying as the good side of the NHS is the sick leave and with tx I 'll need some more next year.  At least I have a job and my colleagues are lovely, just the clinicians


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Evening my little boozers!

Gab- Hmm interesting follow up, so you had same as me with the follie situation.  Do you think they over cooked you?  I am emailing my consult tom to ask her if she thinks I was overcooked.  I'll let you know what she says, I thought I had ovualated day before EC too. Also I didn't know Gonal was better for SP, I've used menopur.  So how do you feel?

Rooz- Hows our babies then?

Beach - I love fajitas..  mmmm.

Nicks - you ok my love, how was the course? did you make it in? Hows the snot situation?

Mirra - Where are you

Well as for me, still bleeding a little (brown), I'm so disorganised I don't even have a pee stick for the morning!  Got bad AF pains so if she arrives full flowprob won'tbother.  Think its ok to leave my wee in a pot in the morning while I nip to get pee stick??!!

Exhausted, another long day at work, but easy day tom, only got one meeting in Surrey and then going xma shopping. Got a huge list and gonna try to just get it all done.

I cried on the bus on my way home too, I'mfine when I'm busy but when I stop I just can't stop crying.

My plan is to try to get a response by email from the consultant as to why I only got 2 eggs and then make a decision from there as to if we do natural or go to Turkey.  Thats our plan.

XXXX


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Laura- get Tim to go to the supermarket now"!!  if not I'll drive down tomorrow and go myself ......


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Ah he's only just got in from work so can't really, I'll nip out in the morning depending on the AF situ.  Although if your passing you could pop one in!!


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Laura- I will do, what time you up?


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Brown blood is old blood isn't it? Think you should get a pee stick for the morn when did you do your last one?
Crying is supposed to be good isn't it? Doesn't feel like it though does it?
xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I had quite a dramatic cry on way home first had tears rolling down face on the train then walking home started blubbing properly on the street and then got in sat in a dark room and had a proper blub all on my own, always try to keep control when Tim here, well a bit anyway.  But feel little better now.

Yeah still bown blood, did test last night as started bleeding.


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Laura- it could be implantation bleeding. don't rule it out x  what did test last night say?


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

LB - still no AF is a good sign   Glad you have a plan   Big hug for you anyways  
Merse - hun don't cry it makes me sad!   It will come good in the end  
Beach - NHS matty leave is good too and you'll need it soon!   i know you can only park at our place if you are in early and then if your finish early you're boxed in  
Come on Rooz - gotta go to bed soon!  
XX


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Laura I don't think you can give up hope on some brown blood  I try to cry when DH not around too! He doesn't really know how bad I feel as don't want to keep upsetting him!
Nicks don't think it will come good thats why I keep crying! xxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

I'm still crying when it has come good - can't believe I have been so lucky. There will be a way Merse   will you consider DE if it comes to it? 
x


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Merse - I know how you feel honey, getting preg seems something that happens to other people.   

When are we having our big meet up??  We need to be together to drink wine!!

Anyway I'm off to beddy byes as shattered.


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Not sure NIcks DH isn't interested if its not ours! Think thats why I feel so helpless!
Laura get some sleep and do that pee stick in the morn! xx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Laura- I second Merse, we'll be waiting darls  x


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Ok, I'll text you in the morning.


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Laura- we're here for you x x x


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## kitykat (Sep 21, 2006)

Hi there,

I know I don't drop in often, I can't keep up with the amount you chat, but I am around!

Laura - I hope tomorrow brings you good news and know how hard it is waiting for a test when you think you already know the answer. I hope it is good news soon.

I was reading Gabs story about empty follies and I had nine follies on 2 nd IVF at Wessex with only 2 poor eggs retrieved and two poor embies put back. I am sure I ovulated early and sure biggest follie was well over 20mm.(I think 26mm) IVIB monitored me so cloesely and when biggest follie was around 18mm I had trigger and got 8 eggs from 8 follies. They couldn't answer my questions and thought chances of sucess low - well that may be true, but I do respond if stimmed gently with no downregging and monitored very closely. Still very angry about monitoring ther, but can't bring myself to complain as also medical and colleagues etc.  They don't seem to do very well with poor responders. Not sure where you went, but know others have been there too.

At IVIB for FET had 4 embies defrosted and was sat on end of theatre trolley in gown when embryologist told me only one to transfer and had to be aspirated as not dividing well. I couldn't speak and we were over an hour late going into theatre, so bladder was close to exploding - (they catheterised me in front of DH) and I just wished they has told me when we got to the clinic as it was the right thing to do to put embie back, and I did convince myself that after inital cycles I was lucky to even have an attemt at FET but shock was awful.

Not sure if this helps but I could kind of empathise.

OK should have gone to bed hours ago - clinic is over an hours drive away tomorrow and I start at 9am.

Love to all of you brave and lovely lovely ladies

Kitykat
XX


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## lucky_mum (Dec 16, 2005)

Hi girls 

wow  - can't believe how much rabbit you lot have got!!! Thanks so much for the warm welcome - sorry I haven't posted again before now - I am rubbish at regular posting so always end up doing ridiculously long posts - sorry! 

*Nicki -* I just checked back to Jan/Feb 07 Snowdrops thread and now of course I remember you (sorry have had so many cycles on so many threads they are all a blur!) - way back then we both had 3 eggs/2 put back on same day I think - so glad you went on to get a BFP later in the year - such an inspiration  xxx How long did you take the DHEA for in all?

*Inc -* I feel for you - making the switch in your mind to using donor eggs is absolutely huge - like you say it takes a long time to get your head around. I have accepted that if our next treatment doesn't work/I stop producing any eggs, using donor eggs will re-open that door called "HOPE" to enable me to get pregnant, be a Mum and have a family. I am another one who might be right behind you on that road, depending on how we get on at Jinemed - have also been following the Reprofit thread and it looks like an excellent choice of clinic... but I so hope that you won't need to use it and that your cycle in January will be successful!   

*Swinny *- good luck with treatment at CARE Manchester    - hope you have a wonderful Christmas and are all rested and ready for it in January xxx

*Merse* - so sorry it feels like your family don't understand/are not being supportive - I think we all know how you feel.  In my case they all seem to say daft/ignorant things sometimes but its my brother who seems to manage to hurt me the most  we had a huge bust-up the day I got BFN on first cycle because he thought I was "being selfish". With the help of my Mum I have since built bridges with him, I have managed to tell him exactly how I feel and what I need from him - he said if he had properly understood that beforehand he would never have been so cruel. We used to be so close and have never been the same since that day, but are getting there, slowly. I think that if they are used to you always being the "giver" they really don't seem to get it that you need (and deserve!) to turn the tables once in a while and get some support from them.

*Roozie *- thinking of you    hope the bed rest does the trick and that you have many more weeks yet for your babies to grow strong - I hope it passes quickly and that it doesn't drive you too  !

*Kitykat *- hope you have a lovely break in Thailand over Christmas - I have been there 3 times (92/00/03) and it is one of my favourite places in the world... hope you enjoy it as much as I did - are you sticking to the beaches  or going all over? The first two times I went was for holiday and the third time because my brother met a Thai girl and they ended up marrying and having my gorgeous nephew together - DH and I took my little Mum over there to meet them - we had a wonderful time  luckily they now all live over here and so I get to see my nephew a couple of times a week and I love being an Auntie!)

*Gab *- you are right you should never have been treated like that - well done you for telling your cons how he made you feel - hope you do get some closure in the form of getting it off your chest in a complaint letter and getting some compensation - good luck with finding a new clinic and a successful way forward xx   

*Laura * - I am so sorry you are bleeding and that it all feels so negative  - I really, really hope you are wrong and the peestick shows different. Good luck with whatever you decide to do next xxx

*Miranda* - hope you are OK (you was very quiet yesterday!) good luck with your scan next week  hope you see a lovely thumping heartbeat   

*Loubella* - sorry you recently had a negative cycle  - really hope it works for you next time xxx   

*Emma *- good luck with your lining check and hope everything is soon full-steam ahead for you to have FET in February   

*Minxy* - I like the new pic!

I have now been on the DHEA for a couple of weeks - no side effects apart from a couple of spots on my chin  I still haven't quite pulled my finger out enough to email Jinemed yet about wanting to cycle in March - do any of you know if they have a waiting list at all?

I think I have caught Mira's scratchy scrabby itch - if any of you want another Scrab partner/fancy a game please have a look for me on Mira's ******** friend list (think I am the only Stephanie there) 

Lots of love to all and sorry to those I have missed - wishing you all lots of luck wherever you are in your treatments   

Steph xxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Morning 

Laura- here for you x


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Laura thinking of you.....     ....catch up when i get home this evening....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Morning all!
Laura  xxx


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2007)

Laura


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Morning Emma- or rather afternoon   have you been up to much today?


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2007)

ooops...pressed send too early then.

Gabs - Sorry to hear about the awful time you had at ET - I didn't realise it was so bad.  I think you were very brave to remained so composed in your FU.  I def think Turkey is the way forward  

Rooz - Hope you're OK.

Mira - Hope you're OK too - you've been v quiet of late.

Nciks - Hope cold has gone and you're feeling top shandy again  

Merse, Beach, Sarah, Kitty, Steph and everyone else -  

Not much to report here.  Went to a Christmas lunch today and had my first lot of turkey.  No English roasties, they did candied potatoes instead which were yuck.  Had sprouts though which were yummy.  

What's on the menu tonight Beach?


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2007)

Beach - our posts crossed


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Emma- candied potatoes, mmmm, think I'll pass  

Tonight I'll be cooking, pork medallions stuffed with stuffing and apple, mash and veggies.  Not too much though as Alex is out tomorrow night so he doesn't want to feel stuffed!


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2007)

mmmm...sounds lovely.  I wouldn't mind stuffing that in my face    Where do you get your inspiration from?  I have about 7 dishes that I alternate with.  We usually end up eating out a fair bit here as our kitchen is tiny and there are so many restaurants to chose from on our door step.


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

I'd eat out more if I wasn't soo tired but with getting up to be at work for 7.30-7.45 byt the time I get home I'm shattered, always feel better in the summer when it's lighter too.  We try to eat out once a week though.  Don't think that I have any inspiration...just try a few things but like you seem to have them on a rota basis.


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## Guest (Dec 6, 2007)

HK has a very 'eat out' culture.  Kitchens are so small that it's quite normal to entertain in restaurants rather than have people round to your apartment and cook.


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## roozie (Mar 25, 2007)

LB -           
reiki^         reiki^


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Blimey! I leave you for one DAY and there's four pages to read!  

I'm fine - I haven't gone quiet, but just couldn't face the computer last night. I look at a computer screen for eight hours a day, then get home and get straight on here and ******** usually, but last night I was just too tired. AND there was great telly on, so I slumped in front of the box.

Laura - hope your day isn't going too badly. Poor you, crying on the train - it's so hard.

Merse - your mum sounds like she has compassion fatigue! It's such a shame there isn't a way we can explain to people just how devastating and ongoing IF is - you don't just get over it. I guess she thinks you should move on, but you can't do that. Maybe it's best to just cut her out of the loop for a while and stop talking to her about it.. Talk to us instead!

Rooz - glad to hear you're hanging in there!

Sarah - you sound so sorted! Well done you - it sounds like you're good at processing grief. What's the next step?

Karen - what a lovely dinner!

Steph - i got the DHEA spots, too - shows they're doing something!

Emma - first Christmas dinner already? Doesn't sound too good though!

Hi kat! Welcome back!

And Lou - hello!

Inc, Nicks, Gab, and everyone else - hello! Got to run as my lunch hour's over.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Swinny (Jul 10, 2007)

Laura – What did the test say. My friend Kate has had brown bleeding for the last 10 weeks and she’s ok. Don’t write it off yet babes, I know you’re only trying to protect yourself. I am praying for a BFP for you xxx      

Merse – So sorry that you are suffering so much at the moment  The whole situation with your sis is so sad. You want to be happy for her, but it just compounds your grief doesn’t it. 

Gabs – Big hugs coming your way chuckles  Sounds like that clinic don’t know their ar**s from their elbows. Good god do they think that we all have a money tree at the bottom of the garden? 

Your experience sounds heartbreaking, I had no idea. That’s so unprofessional. They probably knew they’d fu**ed up but rather than holding their hands up and admitting it they went through with ET, which again is more money for you to pay and what for!!!! All that heartache and  grief for no reason

Know what you mean about writing it all down, its very cathartic isn’t it. I wish you all the luck in the world and lets hope they do something for you.  

Inc – I know what you mean. Maybe we will be cycling together. I hope so matey. 

Nicks – FSH permitting I will go ahead in January. I am going to totally chill through December and look after myself, loads of good organic food, and acupuncture & reflexology and hopefully my FSH will be ok to cycle. If not it will be as soon as possible.

Roozie – I went for my private consultation in August and so with that in mind I feel like I’ve wasted yet another 6 months (on top of the further 3 and a half years on the waiting list), so I am wasting no more time. I just need to get on with this before my ovaries give up the ghost altogether. What’s so frustrating is that when I went on the waiting list I had no idea about FSH or that time was of the essence. Had I have been given that information we never would have waited and we’d have paid privately 4 years ago. Hindsight is a fabulous thing though isn’t it!!

How’s our little baba’s??

Beach – Every time I read one of your posts my mouth waters.

Stephjoy – Thanks hun. I intend to totally chill out so that my FSH is 6 in January (yeah right!!!, I can dream on though).

Mirra – Hiya hun, How’s little bump? Not so much good at processing grief I’m just accustomed to getting bad news now so I try not to get myself in too much of a twist for too long as that makes me feel even more wretched. I feel very burnt by everything that’s happened, but I am just refusing to give up. Its going to work for me, I’ve just got to muster the strength to go down yet another bloody path. Lets hope this one isn’t a dead end. I am hoping to cycle again in January now at CARE.

Natasha - Thanks very much for that link, I've noted those numbers down and once I've got my prescription I will phone around and see who is the cheapest.

Hi Emma 

Sorry if I've missed anyone xxx

Love & Hugs
Sarah xxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Just back so ill catch up later x


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## Swinny (Jul 10, 2007)

Gabs - Just found out how to get my PM that you sent. Sent you one back xxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Just had dinner and DH is washing up bless him x

Mir- glad you're ok, know what you mean about looking at a screen too much. 

Sarah- I'm sure you're as good a cook x


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Just trying to think what to cook and failing to make up my mind! What shall I make, Beach?

When we have our big get together you must make the mains - I'm great at cakes and puddings.

Anyone to make the starter?

xxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Mir- what about soup?   it's easy, just open a tin and heat it up


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

I don't like soup unless it's homemade! I can't eat any kind of ready meal - plugs me up for a week.

Going to have to get something out of the freezer... Beef? Pork chops? Lamb chops? Gammon steak? Chicken? Mince? Or just a huge plate of chips with fromage frais and cheese?

Hmmmn...


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Mir- won't it be frozen still?


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Yep! I've just put chips in. Will chuck some veggies in a pot in a mo and make some soup, now you've put it in my breain...


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Evening ladies....just popping on to see how everyone is.....

Swinny -..... ....we are all very special people on here....xxxxxx

Hope everyone is ok..have just literally walked through the door having fish cake and potato wedges... ...dh's cooking tonight.... ...catch up with personals later....

love ya.....Gabs...xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## roozie (Mar 25, 2007)

balls - just lost my post after googling something inbetween. Ok, the shortened version....

LB...  more  &   hun'.

Sarah - can totally understand the frustration you must have felt these past months, waiting and waiting ...and waiting. So great you have a plan for January which is no time now at all. I think it's pretty appalling the clinic you were at didn't forewarn you about the FSH threshold thing  - at least you could've been better prepared mentally for the disappointment. Anyway, stuff that, it's all behind you now and i'm sure CARE will do a great job. In the meantime pamper yoursefl silly over Crimbo and make the most of it - could be the last peaceful one you'll have once babba arrives next year 
Last thing - on the nutritional front - i took Spirulina, green algae derivative, rich in protein, antioxidants etc. H&B sell it - maybe worth taking, not expensive either. (someone recommened it to me for egg quality when i was cycling)

Nicks, sorry i didn't finish my story yesterday..fell asleep after my supper and DH wasn't having any of me getting up again. Hope the suspense didn't kill you!! All i was going to moian about, was the fact that at our appt. yesterday, we were made to feel that compared to places like UCH,everything's a bit of a shambles at the local hospital. Started off with me being scanned by a v junior sonographer who'd "never seen triplets before". Oh great, that's reassuring then given the critical stage we're now at! We then saw a diff. cons' to our usual guy (the one who also did my suture) who had actually warned us he wouldn't be there, so that wasn't a problem in itself, but the woman we did see was only just about aware we're having triplets and was so vague about everything - she merely plotted the babies' grwoth on a chart, said, yeh, all growing fine, come back in 3 week's time at wk 28. Er hello! I've just been told by the multiples specilaist up in London that i'm looking at early labour any time from now and 28 weeks might be a luxury we won't have. So after realising she wasn't going to get real with anything, we completely had to raise the question of when i should have steroid shots administered - she'd not even mentioned it - and got her to ring the usual cons. to check if he thinks having it just before 27 weeks is appropriate or not. Then on the 'phone to him, she had the cheek to say " i've suggested they have steroids before the next scan....". Incredible! 
Anyway, i'm blabbing now but i find it incredibly worrying that something that important could just have been overlooked if we hadn't raised it. Hmmmn.  We're kind of hoping we may end up in Southampton now, not Basingstoke where they have an actual FMU and hopefully know what they're doing more.

Just been called for din din's - sorry for so few personals .. hope everyone else is keeping ok today.   to all of you.

R xx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Oh Rooze - good you asked all the relevant questions...  It seems to be the thing to do these days whereever you go either privately or on the NHS.. One has to be armed with info and not trust the professionals as it seems...  It's sad, but nobody will look after you as well as yourself... Take care babe...  

Laura -   

Mir - what happened to healthy eating...

Sarah - good you have good your plans sorted...


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Tiredness happened to healthy eating Inc! I make good things to eat in the day, but by the time I get home I'm too pooped by about Wednesday. I had loads of veggies last night though. I want it to be summer! Then I feel like making masses of salad.

Rooz - what a bloody cock-up! Are they even qualified? I can't believe the incompetence of these people. You'd think they would say to themselves, ooh, triplets, better re-read my college notes... But not, apparently.
At least you were on the ball!

Gab - how's the fish cakes?


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Are you at Basingstoke then Rooz? I would have thought the bigger the hospital the better - its a rare thing to deal with triplets, you need some expertise. Hope you get it sorted.   I'm not too hot on steroids but I have only seen them given to people who are threatening to labour and are in hospital. Things can change so quickly though. If they have said they think you will deliver by 28 weeks they should give them. I know you will feel so much better if you've had them. As long as you're not diabetic or infected I don't think there is much harm  
soup sounds good Mirra   We had ready meal curry as didn't feel like cooking. Have sinus type headache today, been in bed this arvo. Am fed up of being ill  
LB hun   hope you are OK. thinking of you.
Swin - roll on Jan. Sure you FSH will be much better after a relaxing chrimbo  
Beach   What was dinner? I still had to cook ours even though it went in the micro. DH not very good at looking after me.  
Gabs - Hope things are feeling a bit better today  
Kity - hi. Holiday sounds just the ticket   Never been to thailand but would love to go. Your treatment sounded pants too   Is anyone ever happy?  
Ems - candied pots?   What are they? Sprouts - yum!   Not had any yet this year.
Steph - glad you remembered me hun!   I was on DHEA from December til I conceived (about August) but stopped it after my thryoid function went off a bit (turned out to be post viral infection and went back to normal). No side effects for me.
Merse - hope you've had a better day today   
Loubs, Pin, Odette, pam  
Love to all others.
I'm being brave and going to work tomorrow - only one (long) case to do so boredom and toilet breaks more of a factor than illness! 
Nikcs


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Nicki- we had pork medallions suffed with apple and sage, mash and veggies, none left though


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Um yum   did you make them from scratch?


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

No, M & S did x


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

AH! don't they do good food! Not just any old pork meds with apple and sage................


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

It's lovely food and always very nice too.

Just out of bath and having an hour before beddy byes


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

I've started new scrab games with you and Merse, K! Unfortunately it was so slow I accidentally started TWO with you!


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Ok, I'll scrabb now x


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Laura - one game you played yesterday, but we have two going as well! Hopefully they'll move this week - it's so slow I can't stand it.

How's you today, L? Was work ok?

xxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

Sorry just a quickie from me as just got home.  Had easy day at work, was done by 2 and so went xmas shopping ALL afternnon adn evening.  Got most of it done.  Nearly cried when I walked through boots to buy some tampax and had to pass the little baby clothes section.  

AF is well and truely here and I feel poo.

Mirra - Sorry I got bored waiting for scrab hence why I only played one game.  

Anyway I'm off to bed as I'm miserable.


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Bed with no wine? Tisk! I hope you've eaten something.

Are you working tomorrow? I'm off tomorrow. Working saturday.

Is Tim looking after you?

xx


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## odette (Nov 3, 2006)

Laura

So sorry for your loss 

I know its hard at the moment - you just have to take one day at a time and be good to yourself.

Yes you will want to cry and yes you will need to cry because what you lost was something precious but we all feel for you (because most of us here have also lost something precious).

We can't take your pain away but we are here and wanting to support you 
We all feel sad from your news - we are sharing your pain.

Much Love

odettexxxxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Hello Girlies.........

First of all i just wanted to send my thanks to all you lovely girlies...for all the strength and courage...that was some milestone i went through yesterday and really didnt think i would have had the...dare i say it....(B*lls)..to go through with it...if it hadnt been for you lassies...supporting me...even my dh was surprised that there was a little voice from somewhere and the cons nearly fell off the chair me thinks...you lot are the best...cant put into words how much you have all helped me....I really felt that i was a voice for a lot of woman when i was making the statement and have never felt like that before especially when he said that this was common practice and that noone had ever complained before it just made me feel even more sad that no woman although made feel like that felt that they couldnt say anything to the cons....

Laura....Ive sent a PM...xxxxxx ....

sorry i didnt get back on last night but i went to bed....YES can you believe i went to bed just after 2000hrs... ...and no Asti....managed about one fish cake Mir.....then tired bears....!!!!

Didnt wake up until a wee while ago....must have really needed it...but feel a bit..... ...thats my smilie for rough.....!..really hope Im not getting a cold again...Question for doc nics...i notice you mentioned thryroid....well this past week ive been waking up at night....really bad night sweats and also very warm during the day...was a bit worried thyroid going a bit loopy and was going to have a blood test at work..but didnt want to self diagnose if you know what i mean....we are terrible...sometimes its not good to have knowledge...anyway just wondered if DHEA did that to you.....!! anyway how is the bump MRS and the small...jammies...... ...... 


right im going to post this then back with personals as wireless playing up..to be continued....x


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Well my dear FF friends...

Odette - that was a lovely post and straight from the heart...i had a little.... ...when i read it im not very good at explaining things honey..but you said it all.....Like all of the lovely girlies on here i really hope you achieve yr dream...you really deserve it honey after already going through so much....heres hoping 2008....is a good year for all of us.... .... ....I know IVF is no holiday but will be thinking of there in the sun....... 

Steph - Hello again and thankyou for your words of support....trying to remember where you are on yr journey..... ...Good luck honey...thinking of you......  

Swinny - Hope you are also feeling better honey..and have taken all the comments about FSH on board....i falso forgot to mention (not that its for a long time yet ) about all those woman that i look after who have just been going through the menopause and have to take contraception because they have fallen pregnant and I think their FSh must be through the roof....60/80 or over something like that....so  ....to the NHS..... 

Emma - Hello hen...across the sea....i bet HK is getting colourful now with crimbo coming...will it be yr first one there too.....  ...coming yr way...try and enjoy crimbo and embrace jan and yr FET .....Good luck sweetheart.... 

Beach - How are we then honey....?....any more news from clinic..... ....You know I was reading about yr cons....they are so the same....sorry doc nics...know you'll be one,...one day but you will be a nice one.... .....its the same where we are....i do what the cons wants then sort of get blamed if it doesnt work.... .....does that make sense...?....anyway I just smile sweetly and think...*%$#**#...... ......whats on the menu tonight then?....... 

Laura - my friend....  

Merse - what are you up then?.....hope you are doing ok....you are still beating me at scrab.... 
Hows Mr Merse?......wont be long until the scan sweetheart.....  ....there will be a few options and dont let them tell you otherwise ok....xxxxxx 

Mir - Hello there......have you ordered the dopplar yet then?..... ......can you believe the lead nurse from the clinic phoned up today and left a message saying oh hello there just ringing up to say if you wanted to have a chat about yr consultation i can be reached on blaah...blaah...blaa..h....do they really think they are getting away with it that easily....Thanks for everything Mir....you have helped me more than you know....lots of   ...for wee Rab...and thinking of you...... 

Inc - How are you then honey...hope you are well also....Jan will be here before you know it...and if you have also emailed reprofit then you have a few irons in the fire...is that right..... ....sending lots of      ....yr way take care.....  

Linziloo - How are you....thinking of you...hope you are ok....have you been to the GP yet....take extra special care honey...we are here for you ok......  

I think thats everyone but if Ive missed will catch up in a minute and Im sure there will already be another fifteen hundered posts to catch up on...... ...xxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Roozie....- my dear ....thinking of you...did you enjoy the fresh air....when you are scanned just keep asking questions...even if you think they are not appropriate..best you do that and then you feel that you have asked everything...take a little list with you...it also looks as though you mean business.. ....and are clued up on yr treatment...take care honey....xxxxxx

Pin - How is our little princess then......?....... 



Hope thats everyone....take care my ff....one day at a time as always girls....xxxxxxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Hi girls
Just a quickie as DH wants to watch DVD.  
LB   Its true we all feel each others pain - worse as I get to know you all better  
Gabs - not sure if there is a link between DHEA and thyroid - all the hormones are related somehow. Mine was borderline underactive but this was because I had 2 nasty viral infections before and after IVF. Its normal now and I'm sure it was to do with that. Hot sweats and weight loss can be a sign of overactive thryoid - your GP could check it for you. they will only measure TSH first and if thats normal they often don't do the rest of thryoid function.
Can't help noticing Gab you chat to yourself alot on here! First sign of madness!  
merse - was it your scan today?  
Mirra - shame you are working Sat  
Hi Odette - agree - nice words hun  
Love to all I've missed  
NW


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Evening chaps! Where has everyone got to? Bet you're all doing exciting social things. 

I've been knackering myself as usual for my day off - rearranging the living room, walking the dogs twice, making fish pie, housework, etc etc.

Now I have a sore back, but at least my lounge doesn't look like a waiting room any more.

Gab - sounds like you really needed that sleep. It's the grief - it catches up on you. You only sleep when some of it's been put to bed, which you did this week by talking to that chap. I get the feeling you don't do confrontation, so bloody well done you.

Regarding DHEA and sleeplessness, I had it when I took it with the pill. Are you on any other hormone or hormone-affecting meds? What vits are you taking? I'd suggest lowering your dose - how much DHEA are you taking? I only took 50mg, and only on weekdays, as I wasn't sure about it. I'm convinced now, as my eggs were so much better than last time. But sleeplessness might indicate a clash.

However it does sound just as if you had a lot on your mind and that's now semi-resolved after your meeting the other day.
maybe it's just that?

Nicks - how was the DVD?

Odette - hi!

Right, I'm having apple pie and custard then going to bed - up at 5.30 again tomorrow.  

Speak then!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Watched Motorcycle Diaries - very good  
Sorry Merse - your scan is Monday isn't it? Keep thinking its Monday as it was my first day back at work  
Expect you will all chat now I'm going to bed!  
Nicks


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Is that a film? Or a documentary?

Yes, I'm turning in - bet the party really starts once we're tucked up.  

Night night Nickster


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Night Mirra  
Was film - about Che Guevara in his youth riding round South AMerica on Motorbike!!


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Crikey! Almost semi-educational then?  

I watched Ugly Betty - genius. I don't know why I love it so, but I do.


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Hi Mir, just about to go to bed but signed on to see how everyone was...

regards the vits the only ones im taking are not hormone based if you know what i mean....for example im not taking agnus castus any more...stopped all the hormone ones when you said DHEA clashed with the pill....im sleeping ok just sweaty betty when i wake up in the morning....Will only take the pill in march just before we go...(Op permitting.... ..)

so no idea what i could be...ive not lost weight (shame!!!). so dont think its the thyroid and then i start to panic and think its hot flushes etc....my cycle is all up creek no idea when i am due on...not testing because i know im not PG if you know what i mean....i have also read that DHEA can mess up yr monthly cycle so did it do that to you or nics.....ITS A MYSTERY......xxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Pllleassse can my bubbles end in 8.......


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Thankyou......


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Nite,Nite girlies catch up tomorrow....xxxxx


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## odette (Nov 3, 2006)

cant't believe it - just lost a post for you Gabrielle and you've just signed off.

GRRRRH!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

still here..xx


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## odette (Nov 3, 2006)

Right here is the shortened version.

Thanks for your post - that was sweet of you!

Regarding your unpleasant ET episode, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
They should have asked you before you were undressed.

I have made two complaints in the past and to be honest all they say at the end is "we're sorry'.  

It depends whether you want to take it further but sometimes it can give you more stress, writing letters, meeting up with officials etc.

Sometimes we get ****e treatment and we just don't need it or derserve it- you know what I've saying sister!

Have a good nights sleep 

odettexx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Hi odette, 

many thanks for understanding and advice..Im really sorry things werent resolved enough for you. This is not the first time though there has been a cock up...on the first cycle...we thought we were doing IVF until the day of EC...just before i went to theatre the embryologist  came into the room and said there is a problem with yr dh's sa we need to do another one as we might have to do ICSI today...my poor dh had to then do a specimen, knowing this and he just about made it if you know what i mean..

surely they had the results from my dh's sa before that day and the cons said before at our initial appointment that IVF would be fine...when we brought this up at our follow up after the BFN...all he said was sorry we will have a meeting and discuss this so it doesnt happen again..

Once again its another communication issue...my dh feels really strongly about things so i will leave the letter writing up to the boss man....thanks for yr support Odette.....if it gets too much like you said its not worth the stress etc sometimes..but will wait and see...Goodnight...honey...xxxxxxx


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## odette (Nov 3, 2006)

night night hon!

odettex


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Morning

Well should be around but having bay window fitted today, yes this near xmas and in this cold weather, must be  

JUst having a cuppa then off to get ready and move the settee's and start putting sheeting down to protect my floor and sheet for the furniture. x


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2007)

Beach - Yes, you must be mad to be doing home improvements so close to Christmas.  Hope they don't make too much mess.  I've been to the gym today and done some food shopping.  Got spag bol for tea and then we're off to a comedy club later.  I've scrabbed....your go x


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Hiya Emma- sounds like you're havign a good day, think of me home freezing x


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## Guest (Dec 8, 2007)

It's getting colder here too - I had to wear a jacket when I went to the shops today


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Morning Ems...long time no speak how are you sweetheart...do you think youll get snow in HK....xxx
How are you honey...is it 9pm there now...xx...youre still beating me..........


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Morning Beach...you are one crazzzzzyy girlie.....its coming doon in buckets down here ...i..e is it raining just a tadge there..?...hope you are going to be ok....sometimes though if things need to be done its best just getting on doing them...hope the rain stays away for you sweetheart...have a good day...xx

Just wanted to say morning girlies...well....AF is eventually here...came and visited me in the nite like she usually does...though i must admit its reassuring as was worried DHEA had messed up cycle as had no other side effects...going to carry on taking it as feel fine taking it at 50mg daily....

No night sweats last night so Mir..you are right might have been the stress and me coming back to earth again....getting ready to brave the shops...but have decided only food shopping today....xxxx

Take care girlies..have a good day.....Asti and x factor awaits.......(simple pleasures)....thanks for making my bubbles end in 8..8 is my dh's favourite number so we are hoping it will bring us some luck....bi for now....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Gab- it's freezing here and blowing a gale of sleeting rain!! it wil be worth it though when it's done, haven't got any heating on as seems pointless since the front of the house is open to the elements.  DH ahs gone to lay on bed and I'm bored alone!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

You need to get some gluwein...down yr heed that will warm yr cockles up.... ....does he have an overhang then or have you tired him out......


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,


Sorry not read back all the pages as I'll never manage it theres so many!

Gab- I think its important to complain, even if you only get a 'sorry' response it does mean the person has been 'told off' and often it will mean something has been put in place it won't be hapening to someone else.  And I think it helps you deal with it too.

Hows the rest of the gang?  Anyone doing anything nice this weekend??  

I have lots to do, have to re-register as a social worker orI'llbe struck off Jan!  I need to write and post my xmas cards, put up the tree and decs, cleaning, email the barts consultant..etc etc!

AF calmed down now.  Still feel very sad but I'm keeping busy.


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Hi girls
Laura 
Hope everyone else is OK?
Had a few hectic days with work and socially!
Well in half an hour got my Mum and Sis round for lunch so wish me luck!!!
Lol xxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Merse -      ...       this is all of us hugging you right now ok...you are not on your own ...we are there with you...i really wish you well...take extra special care.. and good luck.....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hope it goes ok merse....


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Thanks girls your lovely  xxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Crikey Merse - well done! Good luck with that!

Hope you feel better after, and get them to understand a bit.

This weather is SO boring! Can't do anything nice!

Just watching old Who's Line Is It Anyway. Wish they did it now.

Anyone else doing anything? Laura - how are you keeping yourself busy?

xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well... I've just written to the consultant to give me some answers to this cycle.  

I am still in bed as flat is FREEZING!  Just turned heating on as just realised that its off!  

I have to fill in my registrattion forms to re-register as  a social worker,they sent the forms motnhs ago and just realised that I've not done them, I get suspended if they lapse!  ops!

I need to go to my mums to pick up my tree etc and then can put them up.  Also need to write my cards and get them in the post.  Although really don't want to get out of bed a so cold... hopefully will move when the heating kicks in.

And of course usual cleaning etc.  

Wish I'd already got my cards as then could be writing them tucked up in bed!

Tim out cycling in this horrid weather but will be back soon to make my lunch!!

CAn't play scrab as this comp won't let me!    Maybe I'll give it a go though?

XX


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

You have to get Flash player I think, then it'll let you - they changed to new servers yesterday so it's not so darn slow.

I think I'm going to grab a nap! So tired. Don't like getting up at half five - it's not natural.

I'm not doing cards this year - can't be bothered! Though I probably will when I start to panic later.

xx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Talking about complaints, I complained to the GMC about my NHS dr... They wrote back to me to say that the complaint will be handled by the local hospital and at that point I knew they were not taking me seriously....Stupid woman kept telling me taht all was fine with me...no probs to conceive from the age of 36 - 38.5 when she referred me to go privately, only to be told that 90% of my eggs are defective...  She never bothered to retest me or anything and something dramatic must have happened in those 2.5 years...  I was so naive and foolish to have relied on her advice....


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well done bit more online shopping, ordered a couple of egg donor books to read through too.  Nearly bought 'going from infertile to child free' but thought that bit too drastic!

Merse- How'd it go?   

Inc- well we should be able to trust in the dr's, they are meant to be the experts.  So I don't think your naive. 

Mirra - I think its more  a bug on the comp,but i'll try putting flash player on see if it helps.  When I try it comes up 'syntax error - doyou want to debug'  but then won't let you debug!  

I've been thinking about my complaint to the hospital which dealt with my ectopic.  I did get a solicitor and everything at the time and they felt i had a good case for compo.  Couldn't face it at the time but guess maybe I should go for it, maybe  would pay for a cycle of IVF?


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Laura - if you do it on no win no fee basis, you have nothing to lose... ONly a few ££££ if you get the case and even when you pay the solicitor you will still have some ££££ left and the feeling of being vindicated and not being victimised by incompetence....

I do feel naive as it has cost me my last fertile years... An IVF at 37 would have been different from ivf at 39 or 40...Also my fsh was fine and I had no known probs then... That's what hurts - the fact that maybe I could have made it and didn't bcs of smb's incompetence...


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Yeah I know tim keeps on at me to do it,I only have one more year to do it in. Its all donereally I just have to sign the statement and send it back.  Although its a no-win place I have to pay for an expert to look through my notes and confirm the negligence part of the claim (£500-1000) and the rest they would cover.

Hmmm its just the added emotional strain it puts you under. But your right I should just do it.

XX


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Tim just brought in my lunch with a glass of champagne!   Oh dear afternoon drinking!

X


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

How nice Laura!!
I don't think we complain enough when its medical we all feel they know best but sometimes they don't!
Had a nice lunch all went well they still don't really get it but they never will! But feel the ice is broken and me and my Sis have said we need to talk more so we know whats going on each others minds! My niece was lovely and I even touched my sis's bump!! How good am I
Lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nicki W (Nov 1, 2006)

Well done Merse   You are building bridges, must have been quite hard for you.  
LB - did they take the wrong tube out is that what I seem to remember? I would find out all the details - they wouldn't have taken it out unless they thought it looked abnormal ie had a mass in it. I think it would be rare for them just to take the wrong one unless the one you had the ectopic in actually looked normal (and that would be very unlucky). But then you have been unlucky hun haven't you   I'm sure your luck will change soon   
Inc - I know it doesn't help but fertility is such a slow decline you might not necessarily been that much better 3 years ago. don't dwell on the past hun you can't change anything. you might still have your own natural miracle - you never know   
Mirra - yeah weather is rubbish - I'd never walk dogs if I had them I'm far too picky weather wise!  
Just cleaned the downstairs loo   That's another room ticked off, the whole house needs doing and I'm a bit behind having been coldy for a week  
chat later  
NW


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

To be honest Nicks it wasn't that hard we are a close family so I hate being on bad terms with them! The fact is they don't understand because they can't, you only understand it when you are in that position and they aren't!! So I have to accept that and they have to support me in ways that they can!
xxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hello!

Merse - well done for getting through that. It's so tense and miserable, especially when you're so close. You can feel like you've been rendered mute, I know. Then when you finally get the courage to say just how you feel they don't get it - it's like you're talking a foreign language and it's so frustrating.

Nicks - I walked the dogs and it was absolutely dreadful. It wasn't raining, but the road and fields were flooded so badly the jack russell was practically swimming down the road!

Inc - it's so pointless beating yourself up for what might have been. I wish I'd had the courage to pursue egg sharing five years ago, when I would have had eggs, but what's the use in thinking about it now? You can sit in the tunnel wishing you'd never crawled in, or you can keep going till you get to the other end. But the more time you sit thinking about the moment you crawled in the less time you have left to enjoy getting to the other end. Ahem. Some analogies work better than others, don't they?

Laura - yes, I think that not only might you get the cash to have another IVF it would be a huge relief to know that someone was legally to blame over your treatment. You would feel vindicated. I felt huge relief when I finally got my apology - I could finally move on and stop beig so angry about it.
So emotionally and financially it could prove an enormous step forward. Go for the maximum - then you can relax about the cost of the next round.

xxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

hic...bit tipsey!

Nicks- No they misdiagnoses as m/c twice, even after I'd been an inpatient for a week after it had ruptured!  It was only a nurse on my follow up checkup that looked at my blood and scan results and made me stay in for an op.  The nurse filed a clinical incident report at the time and told me it was a huge error that could have cost me my life.  I get the impression that he is a crap dr as all the nurses kept saying things like 'something should be done,if people don't complain'.  Also the lovely dr who did my surgery was pretty appauled as well by my treatment.  Due to the fact I got preg 1st month trying I do think my ectopic rupturing and not being treated for 2weeks caused the damage to my ovaries and and my other tube, but not sure if I can prove this?  but I can easily prove negligence, I just need to prove long term damage, this can be psychological as well as medical.  I'm just not sure I have the emotional strenth to go through it.  

The same consultant was also my IF consult afterwards at my local hosp.  He actually said during my consultation after agreeing to refer me to IVF 'can you remind me why you need IVF'   

Merse - Glad it went ok, your right noone really understands do they.  


Tried to order some more DHEA but it won't let me, saying all my cards are invalid?!


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

which are you trying? www.agestop.com or www.biovea.com ?

Whichever, the other might work.

Definitely complain, as the nurses are right - till people start to complain how is anyone going to know how sh!te these people are?

You'll feel tonnes better once you've done it, anyway - send off that form.
xxx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Yes maybe i'll do it while I'm tipsey and not thinking about it!


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

That's the spirit! Do an Inc and accidentally do it while you're thinking about something else.

Are you scrabbing? Or have you not got out of bed?

How's the champers?


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Laura Mir is right just do it!!
I'm off out into town in a mo for drinks and food! DH away in Bournemouth with the football team so going out with some of the wives! Have a good eve all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

We have opened the 2nd bottle of 'xmas' champers!   

Still in bed but have scrabbed, worked out I can get onto scab if Igo into it from my profile.

Bit more difficult to accidetly do it as it paper and so would have to accidently get dressed, out of bed, sign and put in envelope and then walk to the post box!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Merse - have fun.... you are always out having fun!!!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

I'll have a drink or two for you Laura!! 
We'll have to meet and go out and drown our sorrows!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Merse - Yeah I'm very good at drowning my sorrows!! X


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Nick - I know you mean well by saying it, but fertility actually declines pretty rapidly (I now know) after 37.  Even when I went privately at 39 I had 8 antral follicles and 18 months later I have 2, which tells me that things could have been different had I had an ivf anytime in between 36 and 38. Even if I had it at 39 my chances would have been greater than at 40.   But you are right that it doesn't help me now... Just makes me feel bad..

Mira - I like the analogy about the tunnel... I know that I am now going through the most painful period of my life and it feels unreal that I am living through it somehow....Don't know how to make myself feel better.... Hope you are looking after your bump and what a Xmas for you this year...

Laura - I would sue frankly...If the guy told you u had a good chance of winning, why not? 

Merse - good you are building bridges... My family has left me alone at last... Before I was always a giver and they exhausted me with their emotional demands...NOw when I need them, they are nowhere in sight....

Gab   

My ovulation kit this morning showed no ovulation on day 14... It was always on day 13 or 14... I started measuring on day 10 but maybe I should have started at 7 or 8 so taht I am sure I haven't missed it somehow,....

I have sent my forms to Reprofit as you know .. The dr has replied within 24 hrs and offered me the dates, which I have confirmed back today so I am keeping the options open.... At this stage nobody asked me for money or anything... ....
I feel relieved that I am starting counselling next wk... 

Also thinking of booking a holiday with a mate as my dh is afraid to take any time off bcs of the uncertainty at work...But I have no energy to even pack or leave house or book my hols for that matter, which suggests that I am a bit depressed...  My contract for my one day was not extended in the New Year.  They absorbed the hours internally... Wander for how long I can carry on... Can I sink even farther than this?  In the new year I will be jobless, childless, depressed and 40.5.


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Wow! So what are the dates then Inc?

Have you had just the two antrals more than once?

God, yes, how to make yourself feel better... it's the hardest question, and much, much harder if you're already depressed. You just wish domeone would come in, pick you up and take you somewhere where they've arranged everything, even if it is just a holiday, or a job interview, or whatever.

Great that you're starting counselling next week. That will be such a relief when you get into it. Don't expect miracles straight away - you've had too long and hard a road to just be able to offload it all straight away - take it slow, ok? Once you've started you won't be able to stop, will you? I'm so pleased for you that that's finally happening.

Have a great night out Merse! Have one for me!

Laura - will you get out of bed and put it in the postbox tomorrow? Just DO it! You have nothing to lose - if the case gets too hard for you to handle, just withdraw. Think of the IVF spondoolies!

Anyone else about tonight? I'm about to have a bath L - I'll have the tap end as you're feeling so crook.

xxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Evening Ladies...so whos it going to be on x factor...i think same difference will go home....am i the only sad person watching it then...

Inc -  

Mir - enjoy the bath...hic...laura is too.. p***ed she is on her second bottle of champers....xx


so is anyone else around tonight then....Merse have a wee one for me too....xxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Mirra - I WILL do it tomorrow!  I promise!  

Inc - please don't be so tough on yourself.  Next year will be your year.  I looked at the reprofit site, do they do IVF with no-hopers?  Or just go send for the donor option?  They are very reasonably priced although couldn't find there stats on the website?

Well I have tried to talk about where we go next but he is sticking to our agreed plan of fancy holiday before commiting to anything.  So we have been on the net looking at where we will go.  We both fancy Sri Lanka so looks like we'll be off to there in early feb.     I think he is right I am so in the thick of IF that I think of nothing else, we need a holiday and so are going to go fr it and worry about babies on our return.


Gab - Hic!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Good Plan......hols...I think Tim has a good plan....Im on the moscato tonight.....hic...well we will have to have a wee drink for Mir too cause shes on the orange juice..... .........hic.....so whos it going to be kiddo....im watching ITV2 and sean does not do it for me at all somehow...xxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Im really impressed you are a social worker , what a hard job...how long have you been doing that then?


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Really no need to be impressed!!!  God knows why I thought that would be a good job! Been doing it 6 LONG years!  

Not watching X so can't comment, I like the weird guy with the white hair though.


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

me too....I hope he wins....We went to bentota beach in sri lanka i was lovely...but it doesnt matter where you go Laura its just nice to go away..

I dont know...I AM impressed Social workers do a very HARD job.....have you finished yr second bottle yet then?


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well I think tims drunk most of the second bottle, I'm just finishing the last 1/2 bottle.  He's gone to get a ****** and prob another bottle!! 

I've got horrid week next week at work as the managers off and I'm the deputy so have to do all his job (which is basically dealing with shouty people!) so I hate it when he off. I keep trying to get another job but I work in central london so get pretty good pay and keep putting it off as be good to get my maternity pay with them!! Been saying that for years though!!  

I want to go to the elephant orphanage in sri lanka!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh and I HATE them weird brother and sister act.. they give me the creeps!


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

guess what...my dh has gone out for a ****** too.....we've got them trained...Laura....!!!!! ...

elephant orphange was lovely...what i will say is be careful of your tour guide if you go on a trip as they get a percentage of the total of everything you buy at every stop you make...does that make sense...? ........other than that it was lovely...we went in october which was monsoon time..not a good idea?.....is dh back with yr ****** yet?..xxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

i know i always talk to myself nics.....leon or same difference ....leon or same difference....?


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

I LOVE Rhydian and I now have a love in my breast for Same Difference - she made me cry tonight!

I think leon's out tonight.

Oo, lovely - holiday in Sri Lanka sounds just the ticket. And yeah, it IS possible to get so far into IF you can't see out! I think I'd be getting bad withdrawal symptoms without FF.

xxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

No he went on his bike so may be a while, is your DH back?  We were thining of booking flights and sorting things out ourselves, don't really like pre-arrnaged stuff. There was one package that was week in SL and then week in maldives!    Was bit expensive though!

What you having... think he will prob get - Spicy thai prawns, mushroom rice, kung po cashew nuts and either s+s prawn balls or prawn toast!  We are so predictable!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Just had a big long message from SIL about how sad she is our IVF ddn't work.  Made me cry.  Makes me feel like I've made everyone sad.


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Laura - think about you honey.....ok.....  .....anyway dh just arrived...mushroom curry and chips...the ole favourite.....leon out i agree...anyway have a lovely din din....get trousered and ill join you sometime in the morning with a sore heed and an overhang....Mir can get us both some resolve and orange juice...xxxx ...and even run a bath...xxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Yay! My two are through!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Maybe a new career for you Mirra - Music critic  

You all gone to bed?


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Just came back...Had a few drinks in a local pub....  

Laura ....Reprofit does ivf with own eggs..It's about £800 + drugs.  Stepan was asking me if I had ivf with own eggs or with donor as I didn't say anything in the form about myself...

Miranda - Yes they seem to have seen only 2 antrals in October.  Still when I stimmed I had 3 follies on low stimms...  Last time the nurse only saw one folly... So I am truly on last legs... I was offered early August for ED. 

Gab -  have you written that letter yet...


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Wow thats so cheap isn't it? And I like Czech too.    Do they treat poor responders or have you not discussed that with them?  

X


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

I haven't discussed it...  There is a wl I have heard as many people go due to price.... Also I have small chances anyway.... I worked out that it would cost roughly the same by the time I pay for flights, accommodation + expenses as Geeta or thereabouts.  And also dh would have to take time off and he is self-employed so it would be v. expensive from that point of view ...My dh hates travelling so I think he would feel v. pressurised to do it...  If my dh could organise it for a change I would go, but I know it's all down to me...11th hour - one of the girls, - said that it cost her roughly £3000 inclusive of flights and accommodation and she was thinking of cycling with Geeta afterwards as it didn't work...

DH says that if we are doing DE that I will have to support him, not the other way around....

How about you? ARe you planning to go to Turkey?  I think it's a good idea to go on holiday and relax and then have another go after that when you are in a different frame of mind... You are young girl.... Things can work for you....Besides you had 6 follies and if somebody managed you a bit better ie a different protocol I am sure they could have got at least 4 good eggs and things would have been different... I would take heart from that....


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Morning girls!
I've got a headache!!!  Had a great nite though!
Who went out on X factor?
Hope everyone well
xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Nicki went out Merse! Rhyd's gotta win it I think...

Was it a good night then? Was there dancing involved?

Yay! The rain's stopped! I'm off out with the doggles. Get scrabbing you lot!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Yea Ryd to win!!!
Yes dancing was involved we went to bar with a band after meal much prefer that!
Have scrabbed.
xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

That sounds great. Perfect!

I've scrabbed too - we have two games going you know!

Right - must get uot the door or it'll start pouring again.

xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Mirra- Wow you 11 weeks now!!!!!!      You got a little bump yet?

Merse- Glad you had fun... was there dancing?  I love dancing!

Inc- Hmmm we'll see, I'm not even sure Tim wants to try again, think he's exhausted wth it.  If it was the other way around he wouldn't pressure me to do it again.   So you will be supporting him a!  I imagine DE is a less sressful route. May not need it anyway,  

Beach,Linz, Odette, Nicks, Rooz, Gab -  Morning!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Yep Laura there was dancing!!!
Getting down again today! Was OK yesterday, think its cause of scan tomorrow more bloody bad news I suppose and going back to clinic, scan room with same cons and fertility manager makes me feel sad!
xxxx


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Going to pick DH up from the station now in my pj's so hope I don't break down!!!
xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hee! I love the thought of you breaking down in your jim-jams! Wouldn't be so funny if it actually happened I guess...
Don't get down! It might be better news than you hoped. 

Laura - I've had a bump since six weeks! It's gone down slightly if anything, as I'm starting to drop the dose of progesterone now. I'll be finished this packet by Wednesday, which is my scan date, so I won't buy any more at that price. My body should be producing it. If it's not at this stage they can bloodty px it to me on the NHS. 
I guess Tim's struggling too, but at least he's willing to give it another shot if you are.

Inc - I can't believe that your DH said that about you supporting him. I find it astonishing that he doesn't see how much you will need support if you come to that decision.
I guess it's possible that he's really suffering with this, but how does he not see how it's tearing _you_ up? What are we to do with him? Maybe he'll smell the coffee if it does come to that.
So, when do you start again with Geeta? Beginning or mid-Jan?

I've just had a long walk with the dogs and have got a bad back again. I thought you only got bad backs when you had a huge bump? Weird. Guess I'd better do some cleaning though, bad back or no. I like to have it nice and clean before starting another sh!tty week.
Think I'm cruising for a row with my boss tomorrow - apparently my wish to move my desk through 90 degrees is a matter for an executive decision. I moved it out a bit the other day to see where the wires went and left it like that, then on my day off there were ructions about it, apparently.
Can you believe that moving my desk round would have to involve the editor? I can't


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## sonia7 (Feb 9, 2007)

Hi

I hope everyone is well

I had my consultation with the doctor at Birmingham womens hospital and he said that my eggs are a mixed bag, some good eggs, majority of them being poor quality. I was so upset, I went a bit hysterical on thursday night as the last words the doctor said was have one more go with IVF with your own eggs and if that don't work then consider having donor eggs. My head is all over the place. My FSH Levels is 11. Two years ago they were 4.8. Why have they increased in a space of two years, is it down to stress as I have been stressed the past two years, losing my baby, a numerous amount of fertility treatments and now being told about considering donor eggs. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think, my head is all over the place. Our next IVF will be in March 2008, got to save up first.

Anyway thanks for listening.

Sonia xx


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hi Sonia!

I would, in your position, give DHEA a shot. It's meant to improve the quality of your eggs, and you should take it for about four months to get the benefit, so great timing!

Have you heard of DHEA? It really improved my eggs, I have to say.

Miranda


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Got back but forgot to take key!!! So had to go to mother-in-laws for spare!!!
Sonia why not try DHEA its worth a shot?
xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Merse - he he!!  Hope your Pj's are decent not a baby doll with tassles!    I know how you feel about going back to hosptials, when we left after ET Tim said, well lets hope we never have to set foot in there again. So much for that.  So what are they checking tom?  Your endo?  

Mirra - No I'm not sure tim will be up for another treatment to be honest.  But we concentrating on our holiday and wil think of things after that (well I'll be going over it all in my head!!).  We did agree only 3 rounds and that would be it, its prob better that he is sticking to this otherwise we will spend the rest of our lives trying to achieve the impossible.  

Sonia - Spring is a great time for cycing, easter is the time for eggs, I managed to get my first perfect embie on DHEA, its cheap so worth a go.    Mixed bag??  What does that me... I'd ask for specifics, does that mean some great, some rubbish??  Thats what mixed suggests to me to surely as long as your getting some great ones that good? 

Wee after anotehr ly day yeat I'm up and doing jobs... tim at launderette... so having a quick skive!


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## merse1 (Apr 15, 2007)

Laura they are checked wincette!!!! 
Yes checking endo tom not looking forward to it!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm sure MIl would approve!!  

Well I'm hoping they find nothing and its all evaporated!!     I do sweetheart hope you get some good news, you so deserve some.  Do you ovulate each month?  I remember you saying you may consider nat IVF?

X


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

Where are you all?

Well I've done some cleaning, cleans the animals, done my registration forms.. just the xmas cards to write now!   Aren't I good!

X


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Scrab with me people! It's been HOURS!

Gawd, Christmas cards. I can't be bothered this year!


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## sonia7 (Feb 9, 2007)

Hi everyone

Thanks for your replies. what is DHEA ?? And where do I get it from ??

Anything is worth a try

Sonia xx


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## odette (Nov 3, 2006)

Sonia7 - Welcome on the site.  You don't have to wait 2 years if you have treatment aboard. It only takes a couple of months.  There is a donor aboard thread you can talk to ladies on of the various clinic they are at.  I'm at a spanish clinic that does DE and it has an excellent reputation.

Miranda - Hi!  I've asked you 3 times what is Scrab but you haven't answered 

Laura - You are good! I marvel at your spirit at these times 

Merse - better to pick up your husband in your PJ's than your birthday suit   

Beach,Linz, Nicks, Rooz, Gab, Incon


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Gawd, sorry Odette! It's the version of Scrabble you can play on ********. Are you on ********? Shall I send you instructions on how to add me?

Sonia - DHEA is a little miracle for us PRs. You can only get it from America, but it's mercifully cheap - about £20 for four months' worth. You can take 75mg a day - I took 50 as I was under 40 - and you can get it from www.agestop.com or www.biovea.com 
It's a steroid hormone that occurs naturally in the body, but which decreases as we get older. It's most often taken by bodybuilders, but it's a growing phenomenon with fertility people.
I know my clinic were really happy I'd taken it and my eggs were of a much better quality that the last time.

xx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Sonia - it's all v. stressful and you have been through a lot in the past 2 yrs... Stress is certainly an issue with if and it doesn't help with ttc....On the other hand, it's difficult to have PMA when you get a donor egg speech... It's a vicioius circle...  I think you are still young and you should definitely exhaust all options before thinking of donor eggs... Acupuncture is great for stress and it can also help prepare your body for ttc in a holistic way...
Dhea is not good if you have good pcos... Are you a good responder/poor responder... NOt sure that it says in your profile...

Laura - I think your decision to go on hols is a good one... Thinking of doing the same...but without dh as he cannot afford to take time off..

Mir - yes, my dh has a funny way of expressing his grief... How is your bump?  

My dh goes through weird moods and today a friend told him sth about us not having even pets never mind children has triggered an outburst and I was at a receiving end when we arrived home.  I didn't realise at first what triggered it, but it wasn't nice....  The same old story.... I don't know for how long I can take this?  

Now the latest is that if we have the donor egg child and it's not pretty and smart, he is out, which makes me laugh in a total disbelief...the childishness of it...  And then he said that if I wanted to have children when he wanted them he would have had both a pretty and a smart kid and that's all he ever wanted... So, I guess I should take that as a compliment in this outburst of love and hate that I am getting at present...

What do you reckon should I go away with a mate for about 7 - 10 days and let him be for Xmas on his own as he doesn't seem to appreciate my company at all?


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Odette - you sound v. upbeat recently...  Good on you girl .... PMA  ... Keep it up....  And fingers crossed for January....


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Did I miss that Sonia had PCOS? Was I not paying attention? D'oh!

Bloody hell, Inc, it sounds as if your DH is going a bit peculiar in the head! Does he imagine he'd hate his own child if it turned out stupid and ugly? It's time to put some distance between you while you work out what you want from life - he sounds corrosive.
Yeah, maybe he's in pain, but giving you that sh!t... it makes me feel slightly sick when I hear what he's saying to you - it's downright cruelty.

Get some space - make it longer than 7 days if you can - and think how much you want to be with this man. He's so destructive. You're never going to feel better as long as you let him behave like that. He takes EVERYTHING out on you! You don't say how you react to these things - are you passive?

xx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

It does sound cruel...  He is hurt and he is lashing out on me as he considers me responsible for not wanting kids until I was 35...  He thinks that it's 80% my fault and 20% his..so mostly mine...  I am glad I am starting counselling and I will see where I get ...


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Just a quickie from me   managed to get window fitted despite the bad weather yesterday so spent last night cleaning up and decorating, been out for lunch today, finished painting and staining and put xmas tree up, not joking it took us three hours!   looks lovely though so really happy. x


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

That's the ticket - a bit of help with your feelings over this is just what's called for. It sounds like he needs someone to talk to as well, to try and get those feelings of anger out in a non-destructive environment. Would he consider counselling?

Hi Karen! Sounds like you've been busy!

xxxxxxxxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Mir- we're both absolutely K********, need a weekend now to get over this one   how are you?  Anyhting happened?


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

No, nothing! Been cleaning and dog walking and cooking as usual. Fell asleep on the sofa - unheard of! Will bathe now I think, as it's early shift again this week.

xx


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

Hi Guys, really sorry if i am butting in as i am not as far as i know a poor responder, but i have been reading your thread for ages and you are all so lovely  

I have been reading all your stories and have been happy and sad for you, i have just had a negative from my FET and went to the same clinic as Gabrielle, thanks for the pms hun, i am thinking of going to Czech Republic, same as you Inconceivable, although i am giving my eggs another go.

Mirander, congrats hun, wonderful news   

To everyone else, hope you dont mind me popping by, but you are all such a friendly bunch, i thought i would say hello 

Hugs to all xxxx

Myra xxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Evening All,

Well the cards are done and the decs are up! Just the tree to do and then I'm all christmased!

Inc - He sounds like he really needs to vent his anger elsewhere, I wanted to try from kids a couple of years before Tim did but I don't blame him, you both need to be ready for a big adventure like that.  A break away seems a good idea, I'd tell him why you feel you need to go too.  

Odette - PMA .. well done you!

Mirra - I had my bath early today so the water may be cold!

Myra - Welcome, you are of course welcome to join but if you are one of these 'I got 55 eggs' type of girls we will insist you share them out!!  

Beach - I never feel fully reasted after a weekend, I think working week should be 2 days and weekends should be 5! 

Rooz - I am worried, I don't think you've posted all weekend.  

Nicks - Where are you?  Is it back to work tom?

Merse -    Hope you get some fab news tom.  

Sarah - hows you hon?

Linz -  

Gab - You drunk? 

Oh and my cat has learnt to open all the kitchen cupboards and she now empties everything out of them?  I'm gonna have to buy some of those kiddy cupbard guard things!


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Laura- are you sure she's really a cat and not in disguise?


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

PMSL Laura

Only 12 hun, sorry to disappoint you, although i would glady share


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Myra - 12 wow!!  I've only managed 6 in 3 rounds of IVF!!  Sorry to hear about your BFN hon.    Whats PMSL mean? Not hear that one before?

Beach - She is a very naughty cat!  I think shes very clever, my other moggie is a persian and he is extremely thick bless him!


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

I think it's p!ssing myself laughing dear!  

Hello Myra! Welcome aboard! Hmmmn, maybe we could put you on our kinda levels of druggies and get 55 eggs out of you that way? Souds like a plan!
So sorry to hear about your BFN  

Yes Rooz - where are you? I PM'd you I was that worried? Hope the five of you are ok.


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## sonia7 (Feb 9, 2007)

Hi everyone

All I have been told is that some of my eggs are of good quality and majority of them are of poor quality, this is where the consider having donor egg speech came in.

On my last IVF Treatment, the dr could only see 6 follicles/eggs. When it came to the EC I got 18 eggs, 10 fertilised and only 2 embryos (grade 2) made it for the embryo transfer, the rest of my embryos were not suitable for freezing as they were of poor quality and grading (grade 3 onwards), but my two good embryos did not want to implant. I was absolutely devastated (I still am), the week I got my BFN, three of our friends had given birth, next door neighbour gave birth and my boss became a grandmother and I got my BFN. I couldn't cope - went a bit loopy.

I had my FSH Levels checked in May 07  = 11. BUT in 2005 my FSH Levels was 4.8

My initial diagnosis was unexplained infertility. I have not got PCOS or Endo.

I am currently having Acupuncture, have had this since September 07 (after my last IVF BFN), just started having organic fruit and veg. And I am trying to lose weight my BMI = 30. I am going to the gym regularly. Just can't seem to shift the weight, although DH says I have lost weight but the scales don't say that.

Should I try the DHEA ?? Should I ask my hospital first ?? I am at Birmingham Womens Hospital.

I just want to try all options available. I have had enough heartache to last me a lifetime. Just want some happiness now.

Thanks for listening

Sonia xx


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

Thanks girls... Thinking sometimes that I am going insane...  DH now wants to join me and my mate on hols...
I am thinking of going away for 10 days and he wants to come, too although not for as long...  Says he cannot face Xmas on his own...  

Myra - 12 - wow - I had around 12 in all my treatments put together....


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

Laura, PMSL ( means peeing myself laughing)

Miranda, 55 eggs, wow that would be something, some for everyone  

Thanks for the welcome girls  xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Myra - That sounds like a plan... we'll all chip in for treatment and then you can share them out!!  

Inc - I think going away and not talking about IF will be a good idea, just spend some time with eachother, rekindle some of that magic!    Sometimes me and tim get into a horrible cycle an can't get out of it, w both just have to step back and think about how much we love eachother and then we can try again.  

I dont wanna go to work tomorrow.  

Sonia - I think DHEA will be great for you, really give it a go and I'm sure you will see some fab eggies popping out.


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Ive just lost a really long post..... ...keep losing wireless,back in a minute....


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Gab - Oh how fustrating!!  

Girls, still having trouble ordering my DHEA, its just keeps declining, gonna try the other site... is the KETO one better?  Maybe I'll try that but can one  of you girls confirm!


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

Laura, i am happy to share   all funds greatly received


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Yay! Rooz is at her mum's and all's well. She went last minute, so didn't have time to warn us - phew!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Cool - So do you have her moby then Mirra - Very irrisponsible of her just disappearing like that!  I will have to have words with her!!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Gab been waiting around for your big post but can't wait any longer, feel shattered and have an early start tom.

Merse- good luck tom hon.  

Night girls.  XX


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## INCONCEIVABLE (May 1, 2007)

don't buy keto laura... just ordinary ...thx for the message.....  am exhausted....
It's good that you are not blaming Tim... I would find it hard not to do it as I am mad at dh for sabotaging my last fertile years 37, 38 bcs he felt bitter for me not wanting kids earlier...So, we go in circle of blaming each other....  It doesn't seem to have been meant to happen for us...


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Darn! Sorry - didn't see a couple of earlier posts.

Sonia - your hospital may or may not think DHEA a good idea. I know the Lister said it wouldn't hurt for a few months, so just to try it.
I think it will certainly help with the quality problems you're experiencing, and that's your only issue by the sound of it - you can get the eggs.
Also, you can try (though you prob know this) zinc, selenium, folic acid, and plenty of protein - though that's hard if you're dieting.

30 is at the upper end but it's still ok, I thought? The NHS asks for anything 30 and below I think?
Don't starve yourself - it doesn't do you any good in the long run, and if your DH says you're losing weight it's likely you're putting on muscle and losing fat - try not to worry about that!

You can bring your FSH down with relaxation techniques, acupuncture, wheatgrass, etc. That's not the end of the world, either. Chin up - you'll get there!

Oh, and it's always the way that everyone around you gets pregnant or gives birth when you get a BFN - it's the LAW.  

Inc - the gall of him! He says all that then wants to come along because e doesn't like being alone! Cheeky man! Tell him he can come if he gets counselling arranged as a new year's resolution...  

No Laura - I PM'd her - we need her moby so we can keep an eye on her! But she says she's got her laptop as of tomorrow, and will post from her bed.

xxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Myra - Hi and Welcome, they are all mad on here but more than that they are a lifeline and I would be lost without these girlies...x

Laura - No I am not drunk maybe that is the problem..i seem to type faster when im tipsy....  ...anyway did you have a sore heed this morning then?...mines not too bad, tree up now but still cards to do...Ive scrabbed and you are still beating me..... ...picked anywhere nice yet.. 

Merse - Good luck tomorrow honey.... ...will be thinking of you...by the way have you been taking DHEA...Ive taken it this last month and AF this month not as bad as last month...infact its like it was when I was taking Chinese herbs (god knows what was in them)...so that is food for thought...prob still go for surg as like i said didnt fancy Zoladex and another six months of being SHUT OFF...hope you get on allright honey...will also say Im glad you and mum and SIL have patched things up a bit now..though they still need to understand that you need a lot of support right now...they still should be there for you honey.... 

Odette - Well done you.....ViVa Espania...... ...... Have you booked yr flights yet then?

Swinny - Hello honey..hope you are well , what are you up to now then?.... 

Linziloo - Hope you are ok....  

Ems - Out of sight but not mind..... ...P.S you are still beating me too..... 

Roozie - Hope you are ok honey..when is the next scan then?...have you sorted out yr meds yet then... 

Nics - Are you on another smoochy one...surely you are still not on on calls....hope you are well.. 

Pin -  

Steph -  

Mir -  ....take extra special care...xxxxxxxxxx 

Inc - Im really sorry you and dh are going through this right now...maybe its because he is upset Inc...I know its not an excuse but men are funny creatures..you know that...Reprofit sounds just the ticket and like Mir said you will be away from the stresses of this country too...Hope counselling goes ok next week ,at least sometimes it shows us things in a different light if you know what I mean....please try and spend crimbo with dh.....you need each other right now....xxxx 

Hope Ive not missed anyone..but you know what Im like...there will prob be fifty replies once I post this...catch you tomorrow...hope everyone has a good day...thanks again ladies for being there ok....
my FF.... .........One day at a time...x.


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## Miranda7 (Feb 12, 2007)

Night, everyone! Better hit the hay - I'm up in six hours.  

Hi Gab! More Asti tomorrow, methinks!

xxxxxxxxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Welcome to Sonia...too..... 

Told you I would forget someone

my friend Beach....your prob in bed now dearie....glad the window went ok...knowing you, you would prob have managed a 3 course dinner in between cleaning.... 

right girlies...got to go...dh getting a munk on as we are up early in the morning....xxxxnite nite..xxxxx


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## *Lollipop* (Feb 1, 2007)

Me thinks you are right..too chicken....God bless you and Wee Rab and Mr Pete ofcourse.....


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## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

New home this way 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=122381.new#new


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