# feelings??? please don't look and run please read and respond



## Mandamae

Hello girls/boys who are looking at my Q please don't look and run

I have known since i was 19 (10 yrs  ) I was unable to conceive naturally  
but I have always had "i know i will have a baby and it will be a girl" from deep inside me.
I have read books over the last 18 months like 'the secret'-starter book, then 'Conversations with God' and just finished 
'Happier than God' by Neale Donald Walsh.
I always believed in god but fell out with religion a few years back through my IF.
I have also been listening to an audio book by Claude M Bristol called 'The Magic of believing' - not related to God, and they all say you can have anything you want. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. 

They also say if you suddenly find yourself  doing something you wouldn't usually do just do it anyway as it's leading you to your goal.

Yesterday a thought about natural IVF came into my head (something i would have said a firm no to just a week ago as only 1 egg), I quickly googled it and found that a clinic in wimbeldon do it frequently. I spoke to them on the phone and I will be attending an open day soon.
I got soooo excited  more than my 1st attempt!
Also there's 7 people at work who are pregnant and i said 'where's the chair they're sitting on?- I NEED to sit on it!'  Then my colleague (who doesn't know about my IF) said 'your next this year you will be pregnant!'  So after she'd said this to me a few times I took her aside and explained my situation- she replied with 'oh well it's your turn this year!' I then explained i wasn't going to try again till next yr cause of funds, she then looked at me and said' I said this year girl, trust me'  

Like I said earlier I 'KNOW' i will have a baby and it will be a girl   maybe but it's in me like i have 2 arms and legs I know that just as strongly.

Well now I can't get the feeling out of me-will it be this year? we are going to go with natural IVF now, it just feels so 'right'.

I hope i get some feedback please.
Thanks, mandamae xx


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## Stretch

Mandamae......I just want to say that i really really hope it is your time sweetie     I always knew that there would be a problem deep down and tbh i thought i might adopt but i always held on to the dream that one day i would be a mummy........mine came true and i really hope yours does too


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## Angel129

Before DH and I even started ttc I KNEW that we would need medical intervention.  I had made a comment at my workplace b4 we even got married that we would need IVF.  I had no reason to believe that.  I had a DS from a previous relationship and my DH had never ttc b4.  But I just knew we would need IVF. 

Consequently, my DH says that he has ALWAYS KNOWN that he wouldn't be able to have children naturally!  He can't explain it but he literally KNEW.  

I also KNEW that we would 'get there in the end' although there were times along the way that I had my doubts.  Deep down I believed we would have a baby.  (I also believe that I will have another baby and it will be another boy.  I have always thought that I will have 3 little boys, although I would love to have a little girl. We will see what comes of that.)

So much good luck and best wishes that you have your little girl this year!

Love,

Angiexxx


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## brownowl23

I married at 19  and got pg soon after, however within 6 wekes of finding out I was pg I had lost twins and I'd found out i'd got PCOS. 
I went through years fo IF treatment with my first husband. We split up in 2002 and the following year Ex H announced he was a daddy. I wrote back to him and lied and said I was fine and expecting twins to get him off my back (never heard from him again) , 
a few years later I did DEIVF in South africa and transferred 3 embies, even before we left SA I knew it would work and was contemplating should I buy two of the little boys suits i'd seen or one and two springboks or one. In the end I bought none, but never did I consider buying 3 which was the number I transferred.

During my 2ww my MIL was convinced it would work but always said one and I always said it could be two, never 3.

Well sure enough at my scan it was indeed two and at my sexing scan it was indeed two boys.

I kind of have a feeling I will have one more, but as DH is redundant have no plans for more tx as yet. I have a niggly feeling though I could end up with 2 more. 


I hope everyone gets their dreams and premonitions


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## Mandamae

Thank you so much for replying so quickly 
Just wanted to add I also 'knew' before all the tests that i wouldn't be able to have a baby naturally.

I hope the replies keep coming  

Also what do you all think of natural IVF?

Thanks again, mandamae xx


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## babyspoons

Mandame

I just wanted to wish you well for your next cycle.

I am a Christian (not a bible bashing shove it down your throat type) - have been for about 5-6 years and I knew God helped me through the cycles. OUr first failed but I believe that was me not having enough positivity and doubting God too much. Second cycle my affirmation was "I have faith" "I have faith" "I have faith"....I am now 36 weeks pg. The only time I have ever had a sense that God has spoken to me, he told me I would have a baby/get pregnant, sadly I can't recall which as it was years ago and overwhelming but I have believed since then.

So don't give up your faith, ask HIM to send his angles to watch over you, Yusamin is the angel of fertility and she helped me through I am sure. Faith is a personal thing as is the angel thing but I believe it's all in His hands....

Keep positive, stay strong and keep asking and asking.......

All the best sweetie and good luck.

Spoony x


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## Mandamae

I didn't add  that I also have always believed it would be twins   since i was little.
My granddad was a twin (un-identical) and they say that it's skips a generation right?
My sister has had 3 pregnancies 1st a boy then a MC  (singleton) then a girl, now her family is complete and she is now getting her career under her belt (a police officer) so nethier her, me or our mum thinks it would/will be her  (i also 'know' she will have another baby and it'll be a boy even though she's addamant her family is complete-she thinks i'm  but I'm sure of it!)

Bit scary as I'm not sure my body could handle twins? so I've put that out of my mind so I believe it'll be a singlton.

One of my first IF tests was about ovulation and my dr said 'well it's not your ovaries cause this month at least you ovulated twice at the same time. Do you have un-identical twins in your family?
      

mandamae xx


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## joeyrella

i don't know about 'knowing' whether i will ever have a baby but i definitely had a strong feeling that something would be wrong with our fertility. on our honeymoon in cuba there was a statue in one of the big graveyards in havana where a woman called amelia and her child are buried. there is some tale that if you walk away from it without turning your back you will be blessed with fertility.  all the other girls on the coach did it but it just suddenly came to me that there was no point, i just had a really strong feeling about it.  we weren't even ttc then but i just knew.
i now expect a stampede of FF women to havana just in case there's some truth in it......


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## tinkerbelle78

Hiya! 

I have always 'known' that I wouldn't be able to have children naturally-call it a sixth sense  .  Anyway after we had our initial consultation I remember driving home from the clinic and I said to Dh 'I think this will work for us and we will have a little girl'-We now have baby Nancy who is 14 weeks old from our first attempt at ICSI.

Good luck!

T xx


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## crusoe

On the day of embryo transfer on my second ivf cycle I just knew it was going to work - I can't explain I just knew! I did get my only bfp but sadly went on to m/c. I did 7 more cycles but never got that feeling again - deep down though I knew I would get to be a mu
mummy but strangely didn't think it would be via adoption! 
Crusoe


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## Mandamae

Well we're about to start our 4th journey in IVF.
Although I've been so positive I'm now starting to get nervous although the clinic and the journey feels right. confusing i know but only to be expected right? It's so hard not to focus on just the upcoming tx.

I had always said the best time to put my horse in foal would be when i'm pregnant and well my mare is going to stud on 1st of june so maybe just maybe     this is both our times to have a baby

oh the nerves,confusion and excitement rolled into one   

mandamae xx


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## Samb1256

hi 
I just had to reply. I have just started bleeding - 2nd IVF - know its all over. And I kind of knew deep deep down that it wouldnt work. And yet I was so positive last week.
For my first IVF I knew it would work. I had really no doubt that it wouldnt. And we have a beautiful beautiful boy. (Although I thought we'd have a girl    )

I met my dh at 34 and for some weird reason I always knew conception was going to be difficult. I dont know why I knew but I did. I always wanted children (4 actually    ) I even wanted children more than most of my friends - and they will agree they used to say I was destined to be a mummy. I don't know if this is old catholic guilt and I don't know why I figured sods law I would struggle with fertility but I do. 

I am      that all of us who desire to be a mummy so so much gets their wishes.  

Sam xxx


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## Skybreeze

Mandamea ~ Good luck with your cycle of natural IVF. 

I have to say when I was 14 I watched a programme about a couple with infertility, they had IVF's and evenutally had twins. 
I remember watching thinking 'I bet I have to do that'. I knew then that getting pregnant wasnt going to be easy. And its all been comfirmed. Strange really I just knew. 

Also in my 3rd IVF I knew that it was going to work. I knew in my heart that we were going to become pregnant. Even though I was scared. And it did, even when pregnant I felt uneasy. I had a dream when I was 9+4 that I need a scan, because I was bleeding (in the dream) . Freaked out I booked a scan for 10 weeks. And at that scan our baby was dead.   And the heart had stopped at 9+4. Even when I first got a BFP, I couldnt imagine the baby. 
Also in March, again I didnt admit it because I was scared... But I just knew that I would get pregnant. I did but knew it wouldnt last. 
My 4th IVF I knew from the start wouldnt work, it all felt wrong. 

I always believe that god only gives you what you can handle. I am not all holy but do believe that what is meant to be will be. 

I had a feeling that I would have a boy (sooner or later) But recently I have been dreaming of a girl. 
I also feel I am at peace now with everything. I just have to wait. 
Now all I have to do it become pregnant and stay that way.   

Take care
Natalie xxx


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## performingtart

and     that it is your time this year. Much love and    for you xxxxxxx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I knew there would be a problem even before I met DH. No reason for this i just 'knew' But i knew that i would have a baby at some stage. 

When i met DH and we were serious we had that 'chat' about babies and i even asked him if he would consider donor sperm if he ever needed it??!! How on earth would i know, and him, that we would need donor sperm     anyway he said he would 100%! 

So we started TTC and nothing   
Deep down i knew that there would be a baby, I think this is why i carried on with tx as i knew there was a baby there somewhere waiting. we did think about adoption. and i left a message enquiring about it, but they didn't ring back. Was never meant to be. 
we did tests after 2 failed txs and realised that we needed donor sperm    I always think back to that 'chat' with DH.........

finally i got my BFP but it didn't feel right, i knew i was going to m/c, i wasn't being negative i just 'knew' in fact its a year this weekend that i cried and cried over 'nothing' then m/c on fathers day/my birthday    

Then we did another tx and this time deep deep down i knew it would work, even tho i had no symptoms and tested neg 2 days before OTD, i was so calm and carried on as if i wasn't pg, i 'knew'. 
I was scared and kept going for scans but am now due to give birth any day


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## Dominique123456

Aw, this thread has brought me to tears  What kind loving women you all are.


I think I always knew that being a mummy was just part of who I am. 


Mini will tell you that I went a little barmy ttc - I really believed that frogs were good fertility symbols and made a point of holding frogs whenever I could ! (ha ha ha crazy lady you think!) Well probably, but it gave me hope and something to really focus my positive thoughts on.

My only advice I would give is that I and some of my closest friends -more my best friend than me - she was 100% convinced she was going to have a boy. I mean really sure - she even went and bought blue stuff etc. She said that she just 'knew'. But then she had a girl. I thought I was having a girl but had a boy. Try and keep your mind open about the gender so that you're not disappointed if it doesn't go as you expect. Of course you'll love your baby, boy or girl but I know for my friend it was a big mental adjustment to get over before she could bond with her baby properly.


I really wish you all the luck and joy in the world and can't wait to hear your good news announcement when you get it!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yes Dom was.......crazy!!


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## Dominique123456

Thanks for backing me up Mini!

Ha ha what's crazy is that everytime I see a frog in my garden I mentally say thank you.... well you never know.... ! 

Mini how is life with your new little one?! 1 month old, so tiny.... xxxx Don't forget to follow the 'Dom' principle. "There is no such thing as taking too many photos/videos of babies".


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

he farts and i take a pic!!


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## kitten77

my mum always said since i was little that i always said 'when AND IF i have a baby' - and when she asked why i said this (i was about 6 at the time, i said that if im lucky enough to become a mum  - I WAS 6!!!!  so i think early on i thot becoming a mum wasnt going to be a easy road. 

but i defo know i WILL be a mum, i will, one way or the other i will be a mum, i have no feelings inside me to give up and think about not being.....i will do everything i can to be a mummy. 

....just please.....if anyone listening please answer my prays.....


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## cardi

Kitten    Good luck to you.  It WILL happen for you one day.      

I always thought I knew with certainty that I would have my own baby, but I must admit, as the years went by (we ttc for 7 years) I began to doubt that fact.  Especially after our 3rd IVF failure - we had 2 x blasts put back and the cons and the embryologist said that they were the best they'd ever seen - yet we STILL got a BFN.  It was really hard to pick myself up again after that, but amazingly we got our BFP with our 4th attempt.


Good luck to all of you strong FFers   


xxx


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## IzziLu

I have no strong religious beliefs and in fact was the first non-catholic to go to my all girls catholic school.  It was while at this school, around the time of the birth of Louise Brown the first 'test tube' baby that our passionately catholic french RE teacher instigated a debate in a lesson about the morality of 'test tube' conception versus adoption - we were only 11    And as the only non-catholic she chose me to debate in favour of 'test tube' babies    I think I knew from that moment on that I was debating in favour of something I would actually have to use one day    

Little pointers over the years only served to re-inforce my intuition although I never had any tests and when DH and I first got married and friends asked about having kids he (being from a large family) would say oh yeah we're going to have lots, and I would laughingly say yeah let's see how we get on with one first, but I wasn't laughing inside 'cos what I was actually thinking was lets see IF we can have one first!

So it came as a bit of a surprise when we finally did come to have tests and at first they couldn't find anything wrong with me but DHs morphology was low and the apparent cause of our problems.  We were considered prime candidates for ICSI but it took two failed attempts at even getting any decent eggs for ICSI for the 'experts' at my NHS clinic to do any further tests and find that I'm going into POF - that wasn't such a surprise   

So now we are just about to embark on our third ICSI, overseas and armed with a lot more information.  I can't say my feeling that I will have a child is as strong as the feeling I've always had that conception would be difficult.  What is strange is that in my optimistic moments I talk about 'when we have kids' as if we won't stop at one despite my laughing brush-offs of DHs optimism a few years earlier.  Lets hope that intuition is right     

And here's hoping everyone who reads this gets their dream too        

IzziLu xXx


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