# Adoption in the news



## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Some interesting ideas.... worth a read x

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-34682421

/links


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

Yes, I woke up to this on the radio. I'm behind anything that gets children who need to be adopted home earlier (and prevents delays for those of us waiting). A couple of concerns, though. The government can't instruct the courts and ultimately at the moment it's courts slowing things down. Secondly, as a prospective foster-to-adopter it worries me that this push will pressure councils into finding foster-to-adopt placements for children who will end up returning to birth families. Will be interested to hear what others think.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

I'm interested in the crack down on special guardianship orders, which I think will mean an increase in children needing adoptive families.  But personally I'm very cautious about the idea of moving children before the appropriate court orders are in place.  It sounds like it's all about foster-to-adopt, and therefore won't help those of us who are unable to do that.


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

It's an interesting initiative but doesn't really address the high risk with foster to adopt. Our AS's sibling is due to be born soon and assuming the plan is for adoption (number of siblings already and none at home with BM) we have alredy discussed with our SW that foster to adopt would not be right for us - she agrees because you just can't predict what the courts are going to do.

How can an initiative like this be pushed when the courts are more uncertain than they have been for some time. There is also such a high risk that a suitable family member is identified later on in the process which is great for the child but does it not matter that the adopters are left heartbroken? 

I do understand why the govt want to push this but not sure it's really the answer right now.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Yes, agreed, they seem to be addressing the delays in the wrong place.


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Hi pink lady - I understand everything you say and you are of course right that it is much better for the child. I think the problem I am referring to is when adopters are not fully aware of the risk they Are taking. Not sure the officials pushing this fully understand either.

Perhaps I am biased because I just don't think I would be strong enough myself to do this - I do however very much admire anyone that can do it.


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Absolutely agree but also bearing in mind that it is meant to be child centred, it sort of excludes those of us with children, particularly adopted children. An adult might be able to live with the risk and uncertainty and, Pink Lady, you are clearly awesome for doing what you did, but a child cannot be asked to do that: fall in love with a sib who could then be sent away. Particularly a child who was been traumatised by a move and loss already.


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## Thepinklady (Apr 16, 2014)

Tic-toc like I said it is not for everyone. I sincerely hope that the risks are fully explained to prospective adopters before they agree. We were made fully aware of the possible outcomes before we embarked - child returning to birth parents or kinship carers coming forward, or indeed an unknown birth father appearing lateen the proceedings. Only when our agency were fully satisfied that we had understood and appreciated these possibilities where we approved and duly placed. I don't think a child would be placed under a foster to adopt scheme without the various possibilities being discussed. 

Through the process we have met a number of families who took the risk despite not knowing how they would react if the worst case scenario happened but for the risk paid off. Many of these couples have now got toddlers, 3, 4 or 5 year old children who came to them at 2/3 days old or very soon after. How amazing is that for them as a family. For those who can shoulder the emotion it is great that they have these opportunities. 

Truly though I get that it is not for everyone and I have friends who have asked me for their opinion about whether they should go down a similar route and I can not whole heartily recommend it as I am not sure emotionally they are strong enough for it. Every individual knows their limitations and the limitations for their  family. Barbados girl I understand completely your point and probably would not do it in your situation and definitely not in tic-tocs situation where it is a direct sibling as it would raise questions for the AS if the child returned to birth family but for many others it is an option.


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## Thepinklady (Apr 16, 2014)

Sorry who reading this on my iPad I accidentally removed my original post and so as to put the above post into context I thought I would re- post it. This was obviously written before the above post. Sorry.! 

As you may be aware my DH and I did concurrency which has even higher risks than foster to adopt and are LO ended up going home to mum. We went into concurrency because it was so child centred and took the risk off the child and put it on us the adults who are better equipped to deal with it. My DH and I would not change what we did despite not getting to keep the best little princess we have ever known. We will do it again. why you might ask? Because having had our LO from 11 weeks old we saw all her development, we had all the firsts and she was very well attached to us. Had she stayed i know the outlook for us as a family would have been great. Where we live getting children into their permanent homes is incredibly slow. Had our LO not been placed with us in a concurrent placement and had she not been able to return home she would not have moved to her adoptive home until at least 18 months but more likely over 2. If we can avoid this delay then it can only be applauded. THAT said we have been through an emotional roller coaster. We are both emotionally strong people with a very strong faith. I would not reccomend it for everybody and so can understand that foster to adopt is not the way forward for everyone but I passionately believe that there are many people that it is right for and should be promoted and facilitated more often. Many times on our journey we have had to put our feelings aside and put our LO back in the centre. She is the child and we are the adults who have to put the needs of the children first.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Thanks for re-posting, pinklady, that's really helpful!  

I hugely admire you for what you've done and will do again.  I'm in awe.  

But if this is the direction the majority of adoptions are going to go, I'm sad for myself and for my son, because I know I wouldn't be able to do it, and because putting him through it with his background and issues would be borderline abusive!  But that's just me being selfish, and a little bit down about not finding a match.  Ho hum.  :-/


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## bulmer (Sep 5, 2010)

In my view the part of the adoption process that is in dire need of speeding up is that after placement order - the matching process.  The length of time taken to find families for the children waiting is unacceptable especially at a time when there are so many approved adopters. Just reading on these boards how many people are approved some for over a year shows the process of matching is failing children and adopters alike. Maybe it's time to stop concentrating on the Court process leading to PO and take a long hard look at LA procedure after PO through to eventual placement and make it quicker and more efficient.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Completely agree bulmer it is outrageous. Sw's should be proactively searching for families BEFORE placement orders so when they're issued they can approach the families immediately. Matching panel seems a pointless exercise in so many cases. In very young children with no medical or development concerns how do you "match" them. It shouldn't be the norm it should be used where there are genuine requirements of that child. Matching panel members will be going on the advice of child and adopters sw's so it seems a rubber stamping exercise. This seems to be what causes the most delay. That and sw's only working part time and having so much leave or sick! 
We did foster to adopt AFTER placement order meaning our lo came to us at 6 months, if we hadn't have gone down that route he would have been 9 months. 3 months to sort out a matching panel date and arrange intros! I've always said it should be this that was sped up not the assessment part.


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