# Anyone had experience adopting in leeds? newbie and nervous!



## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

hi,

I'm new here and terrified of starting the adoption process but hopefully it'll all be worth it.

Our story: I was first diagnosed with endo at 20 after years of pain. I had it removed but was told I'd probably need IVF when we wanted children so me and my DH started TTC earlier than we would normally (me 24 him 30) We went to the gp after 6 months of nothing as we were told to and started the IVF journey. By 27 I was lucky enough that ICSI worked for us. I had a horrid pg and birth where we both nearly died. I am now blessed with a beautiful DD that I thank heaven for every day. We started TTC straight away after her and after nearly 3 years and 2 failed cycles and lots of tests and investigations they have decided I was to damaged when I had my DD to carry another baby. We are both crushed by this news so but its not unexpected. We always said we'd adopt and after talking about the possibility for years its now a reality if we want another child. 

We are going to the information evening held at Leeds which we have been to before. I know that in Leeds you have to have a year between IVF and starting adoption, our last cycle was in July so I know that will be OK but they also say that they like your biological child to be 2 years older than the adopted child so for that reason they want them to be 4. My DD will be 3 when we want to start. As it takes so long surely she'll be 4 by the time we start being matched with a child. 

So my questions are this:
Can we not start till shes 4? 
Do you have to use Leeds city council to adopt in Leeds and what are they like? 
My DH also works away 2/3 nights a week but I have loads of support here with my parents and my DH parents all living between 5 mins and 25 mins away. But will him being away go against us?
I'm a teacher but I only work part time to be with my DD, will that go against us

I'm so nervous and just don't know what to expect!! We've been told that we can sign the first lot of paper work at the information evening so I'm nervous as its all a bit really now!!! Has anyone else been through this who has a child already?

Thank you xxxxxxxxx


----------



## racheypache13 (Jan 8, 2011)

Hi,
I felt I had to reply as we have a few things in common although I can't answer all your questions!
We are with Bradford although I have some friends who have had successful adoptions through Leeds. We were told to start by going through the LA you pay your council tax to. We too have a birth daughter, she is 5 and we have been told the bigger the age gap the better
I am not sure about whether you can start as, chances are,  she will be 4 by the time you get through the process. 
We have just been approved at panel and two of our positives were being experienced parents and that I am a teacher. I too work part time to be with my daughter. Throughout the process this was only seen as positive as we are aware of how children can have different needs and how we deal with it in a school setting. 
I'm sure they will answer your questions at the information evening though.
Good luck!
Rachey


----------



## sparkle2811 (Apr 30, 2011)

Hi, Thanks for replying. 

I guess I'll have to wait and see what they say on tuesday. How far are you through adopting? How have you found it? We are so nervous. I guess its the unknown. We're on the border of leeds and bradford. We pay our council tax to Leeds but the schools and library etc are bradford run. I hope I'm going to the right information evening!!!


----------



## racheypache13 (Jan 8, 2011)

Hi,
We have just been approved and to be honest, it's been OK! We waited 6 months to get on a preparation course and then 4 months to assigned a social worker to start our home study. We just had to be patient in the in between bits. Looking back now though it was worth it. Our social worker was lovely but unfortunately she was a fostering social worker so we have a new one for matching. We were so nervous every step of the way but it has been fine. Once you get into your home study just remember that you invited them in to ask you all these questions (that was the best advice we were given!). 
We are the other way around, we pay council tax to Bradford but have a Leeds postcode. As I said, we were told to go through the authority you pay your council tax to. 
Good luck with everything, it is a lovely feeling knowing we will get a child at some point! Stick with it
xxx


----------

