# Broodies Part 1



## *looby*

Hi,

This thread is for Mums like me that for one reason or another, cannot or are not actively TTC at the Mo, BUT would love to be ( if that makes any sense at all     ) Just blame my Af hormones   

Anyone want to join me ??

xxx


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## *Bev*

Hi Looby

I don't have time for a long message now... but this 'section' is perfect for me, thank you for starting it!!

I dream of having another baby and we will try again, although we want to wait until Alex is in pre-school for financial reasons mainly (cost of children not treatment) but also we know how fortunate we are to have Alex and that perhaps we won't be successful again therefore I want to enjoy Alex as much as possible in his small years.

Apparently there is no chance of a natural miracle for me due to no ovulation and no cycles at all, I bleed constantly unless on some sort of continuous contraception!!

Whats your story?

Bev xx


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## Siobhan1

Thanks for starting this thread Looby...I wasn't sure how I was going to word it myself  

This new thread has come about as there are at least 3 of us on our birth club thread who are feeling broody but don't quite know where we belong as we are not actively ttc.

This week I have had 2 friends announce they are pregnant & I'm ashamed to say I'm as jealous as hell!   which is totally irrational as we are not ttc & have no intention of trying for another baby until at least April of next year.
Like you Bev, we can't try any sooner due to financial reasons. I work part time & the cost of sending Kaydn to nursery is huge, therefore we can't afford to have 2 in childcare at the same time as it would cost more than I earn. For that reason we are having to wait until Kaydn is closer to starting school so we only have to pay for one.

DH is so practical about it & to be honest I have kind of talked him into ttc from April but I know he would leave it longer if I didn't push it. DH has also said that he would be happy with just our DS   whereas I am desperate to be pregnant again, to have all those feelings & see a bump grow  

It took us 2 years to conceive Kaydn & 7 cycles of clomid. When April does come around we will be trying naturally, I assume for at least 6 months before we'd be referred or offered clomid again...who knows...I think DH thinks it will happen quickly whereas I assume it will take a long time & I worry about it.

I know I am lucky to have Kaydn & he is an absolute angel, I just miss those newborn days    

I'm sure there are many more of us Broodies out there  

Look forward to getting to know you all!
Siobhan xx


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## *looby*

sorry girls - I only had time to start the thread - I WILL be back later to add more - Just cooking dinner for MIL   

xxx


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## Ajax

Oh Looby - thank you so much for starting this thread its just what i need at the moment.

I am so lucky to have my lovely family already - Tasmin and Ruben from our 1st icsi and Cerys ( from a previous relationship.  However just this weekend I said to DH that I now feel so broody but that there is just no way we could even consider doing tx right now.  For those who dont know - we have just moved to LA and things are still very hectic.  We did have a long chat and yes we are happy with what we have but we would both like another child/ren in the future - perhaps when T and R are 5, so thats another 3 and a half years to cope with this broodiness!

There really is NO chance of a natural miracle for us either - DH has had cancer twice and the fact he had swimmers return after the first tx was a miracle in itself, after a second round of chemoa nd intense radiotherapy, its just impossible!

I find myself straring at all the newborns in shops and wishing it was me all over again!  I love T and R's stage at the moment and wouldnt swap them for the world but they are growing up way too quickly for my liking!

Hope we can all give some support to each other!

Amanda x


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## pollttc

Hi HO

As Looby and Siobhan will know - I'll definitely be here!!

Cost of children, cost of treatment is what's stopping us - we're actively ttc naturally! Ha Ha bloody ha!! We;re unexplained (though do have endo but not anywhere 'important to conception' apparently) but after four and a half years it was only IVF that got us Daisy - hoping for a natural miracle cos then we'd have to deal with the financial implications. GOt five frosties but can't afford to use them - so having to think about the idea of letting them perish when we want more.........

I'm burbling on but will post properly at some point this week - hopefully with a little more coherence.

Poll


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## *Bev*

Siobhan i've seen you around on the boards for ever but hadn't ever realised Kaydn was a clomid baby too.  I was lucky on my first clomid cycle, thank god... it complete screwed with my head and body generally, I had almost every symptom throughout this first month but... i'd do it all again without hesitation    Your financial concerns are also the same as ours, I work 4 days per week and put Alex in nursery (which he loves) but it wipes out 1/2 of my salary... having two in nursery would be impossible as we can't be without my salary.  Then there is the twins 'risk' to consider  

I am horrendously broody too, I hate going shopping because inevitabley you see someone with a huge bump, i'm SO jealous of friends being pregnant, I could have slapped my latest friend who knew of our troubles when she told me she never thought it would happen because she'd been trying 6 months   and as has already been said its completely irrational because we're not even trying.

I don't know about anyone else but the 'need' for another baby came as a big shock to me, I honestly thought i'd be eternally satisfied just to have one baby... but    Eternally grateful YES...  

Anyway i'm rambling now.... looking forward to getting to 'know' you all.

Bev xx


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## *looby*

Sorry to start a thread and the rush off    But supposed to be packing for centerparcs 

Back friday - Hope you all have a good week   

xxx


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## Siobhan1

Have good time Looby!


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## jubjub

Not sure whether I belong in this thread or not!  Thought I would come for a wee nosey....

We are unexplained too, and after 3 yrs we ended up with our iui monkey.  Hubby desperately wants another one, I dont think I could cope, as i have no family here to help, and its all down to me.... on the other hand I feel very sad at AJ not having a sibling to keep him company, although he does have lots of friends his age, and I am out every day with him.

I love cuddling new babies....  got one in our coffee group, and another one on the way.. later in the year, and a friend thats talking about ttc early next year.

I am a little confused, as you can probably tell!  I would be happy if it just "happened" but really dont want to go through all the injections and the drugs hell again..... on the other hand I am 39 next week and feel time is running out, I would love to wait a year then really go for it (aj at kindy by then), but thats not really an option at my age.... and I dont want to get to my 40's and regret not giving it a proper go.

Oh and the other side of the thing is that I am still far above the weight limit for treatment anyway!

*sigh*


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## sallywags

Ah great thread!  Me and dh are 'ttc naturally' but again falls around laughing - v v unlikely and i am horribly broody!  We (I) want to start tx again next year, but Moo is only 10 months so want my body to recover for another few months before i put it through the trauma of hormones again!

I am SO broody at the moment.  One of my good friends is 7 months, someone i work with is due in 2 weeks, another 2 friends and 1 colleague have babies under a month old, and everywhere i look there are babies and bumps!  

Will def come back here to post!


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## pollttc

Blimey what are we like

So far you all seem to be reading my thoughts - the things you are saying are exactly how I feel. And as for the babies and pg women everywhere...... and I too thought this'd all be over and done with when I got my beautiful girl.....

Aaaargh - who's fed up with thinking about it all the time?

Poll


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## Siobhan1

I am Poll!!

I was wide awake at 3.30 this morning thinking about my pregnant friend & wondering how they so easily took 'risks' when they earn less than my DH & I and this will be their 3rd child.
For us it's just a risk we can't afford to take. I would probably do it & face the consequences but DH is much more practical about this & I know we really can't afford baby no2 right now.  

Anyone else wish they could have a 2 year pregnancy!    I want to carry a baby again!


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## sallywags

Oh god no!  I really really looked forward to be pg, but i felt hideous pretty much the whole time!!  That's not to say that i don't miss it though!  I'd do it again like a shot - but i think 2 years would be pushing it a smidge!!


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## *Bev*

I'd love to carry another baby... I honestly can't wait to be big and pregnant again... even though I was poorly throughout and bloody miserable by the end of it


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## sallywags

I know - why do we want to go through that again?!?!  there were bits i loved though - the attention for one!!  and I loved laying there stroking my enormous bump!!  I'm only just starting to get my body back now, yet i would do it all again without a second thought.


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## Baxy

OMG this is the thread for me too, you lot are reading my mind!!
For us it's financial too,   I take M to work with me, I'm a nanny so she fits in well, but there is no way I can take 2 with me. (they have 4 kids as it is!) So it would mean a complete career change, and unfortunately I need to work. 

I like many of you thought that just Megan would be enough, and she is but I always thought I would have 2 children? Meg was a natural pg after 2 years of trying, so part of me wants to start trying now just in case it takes as long again.  DH is so happy with Meg that I don't think he'll push to get on the ttc rollercoaster again, and also suffer me with 9 months of all day sickness   !  ( I would do it like a shot tho......)

I think the difference is that we all know how wonderful it is to be pg, give birth and have a baby, and we want it all over again.   

Sorry I'm waffling now, it's good to get my thoughts down.  Think I've had it on my mind for a while. Meg is 1 now so all I seem to get is "when are you going to have another one then?!!" Got it twice today!

Looking forward to getting to know you all. Think there's more on my mind but that'll do for now  
  Bev!


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## JaneNewcastle

Not sure if it's OK for me to join this thread, because while not actively TTC with tx, there is the slim chance that a natural miracle may pop up.


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## sallywags

I think this is exactly the place to post!  I'm 'ttc' in the loosest possible sense - i.e. i know it's not going to work but i am horribly broody and living in hope!!


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## JaneNewcastle

sallywags said:


> I think this is exactly the place to post! I'm 'ttc' in the loosest possible sense - i.e. i know it's not going to work but i am horribly broody and living in hope!!


Sallywags you made me laugh on a dark and gloomy Monday. Thank you for that. When people ask me if I'm going to have another baby I tell them 'Well I'm not trying not to'

Jane
xx


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## sallywags

Glad to be of assistance!!


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## pollttc

Jane - that's what I say too! We're not trying not to whilst not really having the faintest hope that anything will happen! Hasn't so far and it's been since D was about 10 mths!

Poll


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## Siobhan1

This is the place Jane!

I'm feeling a bit better this week. AF has passed & I think my hormones have calmed down but I'm waiting for friend number 3 to announce her pregnancy so my jealous streak can pop out again.

My boss has asked about me covering my friend's maternity leave & I'm tempted to say yes just so I can sit on that side of the room as that's the side where everyone ends up pregnant! including me the last time!  . If I'm really lucky, I'd be leaving just as she would be coming back....


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## *looby*

I think i've really lost the plot now 

I even had a dream about being pg again   

From a Loony Looby


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## GAC

i too would luv another little one but i have severe tubal damage and pco so tx is our only option.Ive done egg share 3 times last onewas 1 year ago all bfn so trying to save at the moment which i think is a pointless task only managed 800 pounds which wont get us ivf ,but i guess its a start .Our ds is 9 now and the baby years have long gone he loves a cuddle but not in public.I miss the bath times and watching him play thomas the tank ,them years have gone now.I know im lucky to have 1 but im so broody for another so this thread suits me well. luv gac xx


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## JaneNewcastle

I just realised today that I have managed to get through a pack of 15 pee sticks in four months.

Makes me realise that I've been more hopeful than I thought!

Hope everyone is managing to smile today seeing as the sun is out.

Jane
xx


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## sallywags

Jane - yeah, I bought a pack of 10 (20?) off ebay about 4 months ago too and i've only got 2 left.  I had to resist the urge to do one today (why?!?!?!  I'm on day 15!!! what would be the point?!)

Looby - me too - i had a dream about being pg, and dh had one too.  Mind you he had one when i was pg with moo, and he was right - even got the sex right!


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## JaneNewcastle

I blame my consultant from the ectopic removal, he told me that I should check even if I have a bleed to rule out another ectopic.

I don't think my brain can cope with the thought of having AF arrive and still having to do a pee stick, so I think I'm going to give up on those now.

Jane
xx


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## pollttc

I think you're all amazing - I've only ever done a few pg tests - one on day 14 after IVF - one a few weeks later and prior to IVF I think I'd done about four (in four and a half years of trying!)
I find it too too painful - anyway - AS SOON as I think I might need to do a test I immediately come on!

Ah well

Siobhan - the pg side of the room. I like it! Might have to find out which classrooms at school have pg teachers in them! Currently there are about five pg teachers at my school and two on mat leave! Boo hoo for me!

I too have calmed after my tirade on our birth club when I got AF. Hormones a bit calmer and Daisy delightfully delightful and made me feel guilty for wanting another one.

Take care broodies

Poll


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## sarahc

Hi girls think this may be the place for me to post

was on hopng for another miracle but we have 2 lovely daughters aged 3 and 1 and would love another but we are not at the stage where clomid is an issue yet - just seeing how it goes. just finished a period so onto a new cycle.

look forward to getting to know you all x x x


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## REDHAY

1stly - Thank you Looby for starting this thread, I think I fit in here too

CHECK LIST

- Want another baby Check
- Timing is'nt right at the moment Check
- Worried about having IVF / treatment again Check
- trying to concieve naturally in the mean time Check
-  Using pee sticks constantly just in case of natural BFP Check


Even more broody as my Sister had her 2nd baby this week.

Hope I can join you x

Hayley

ps.  Need to have a read through and see who everyone is.


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## pollttc

Hi HO

Well - went to docs this week as I'm sooooo exhausted - amongst other 'digestive' issues, and erratic periods etc - doc demanded I do a pg test to 'rule it out' - I said (new doc) do you know I had IVF - usual - 'it can happen' - me 'just had AF' - her 'some people bleed in early pg' - She said 'it'd be stupid to progess with other stuff if you're pg'. So stoopid me does a pg test and hey bloody ho it's BFN - luckily I KNEW it wasn't going to be anything other than that so wasn't even remotely escited - just feels like a waste of five quid (oh and that was for two - only bought cheap ones, so now have a tempting test for another time!)

Still - buying the test gave me that tingle of excitement - thinking that the woman at the cashtill might think I could be  - all the time me knowing I wouldn't be!

Ah well

Large glass of red wine and sausage and mash for tea - Daisy pushing out final molars and it's HARD (for all of us!) Here's to an uneventful evenign and night

Take care Broodies

Poll


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## sarahc

Hi

Poll = what a silly Dr - my dr did that to me two years ago only I did get a BFP!!!! ended at 6 weeks but gave me hope i could fall naturally, hence not using the clomid just yet.

have lovely wkd everyone x x


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## JaneNewcastle

That's also how I found out about my ectopic.  Rushed into hosptital with what they thought was appendicitis, told me to pee on a stick, I nearly fell over when they told me it was positive.

Joy only lasted four days though, when they went in for the appendix, found the ectopic instead.  

Still that means I have fallen pregnant naturally five times now.  Three m/c, Marcus and an ectopic.  So maybe I'm actually quite fertile?    Trick is to keep them there!

Hope you are all having a great weekend.

Jane
xx


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## *Bev*

Hi ladies, just got back from hols...

Poll I had a very similar experience a couple of weeks ago, the doctor insisted on me doing a pg test at the surgery although unlike you I actually allowed myself to get a little excited waiting for the test to complete.... oh if only... I was furious as I currently have a coil fitted and my last gynae appointment (only a couple of months ago) insisted that I could never concieve naturally due to no cycles    I was aneamic by the way which is why I was tired... did they get to the bottom of yours?

Jane {{{hugs}}} you know i've got everything crossed for a natural sticking pg for you xx

Hayley, GAC welcome

Sarah Alex is a clomid miracle, fingers crossed for you hun.

Baxy Hi hun.

No change here, still broody.  We had a vague plan for our next few years, one was to buy a bigger house (perhaps one that needed some work), then when settled and Alex is going to pre-school we could contemplate trying again... WELL whilst on hols we accepted an offer on our house and have a confirmed offer on a house that needs some work... I can't help feel excited that we're nearly that one step closer to ttc no.2  

Love and hugs to you all.

Bev xx


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## tink

Hi 

I haven't posted anywhere for ages, but this is the place for me at the moment........

Am sure you lot have had a sneak peek inside my brain to see what I'm thinking and written it down! I'm feeling exactly as you all do. It seems that everywhere i look is a new born baby. Another of my 'baby group' friends has announced she's pregnant and another one has just given birth last week.

I feel so bad writing this as i know there are so many people out there who are just longing to have a baby and for whatever reason it hasn't worked, and then there's me who it did work for and now feel broody.......I feel so lucky,honored and privileged that i have my beautiful son, but can't help feeling as i do(i hope you get my drift).

Neither i or my DH want to go down the treatment road again and also if we had another really have no idea how we'd afford it.

Much to my DH horror  (he thinks if it's gonna happen, it just will)I am thinking of buying one of those fertility monitors from clearblue so i can try and track things as my period is all over the shop. They do cost about £100 +£20 for pee sticks. Has anyone already got one of these?If so, what do you think of it? 

Hugs to all

Chris


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## FEW

Hiya

I think I belong here too! hope you'll have me  

background!!

tried for 3 1/2 years to get pg then month before Icsi ( male ferlity our prob) went and conceived naturally and our lovely Teagan was born.
have now been trying for a year for number two. really want number two and bump envy in full swing
we always new it would be an up hill struggle but hoped for another miracle.

most recent conversation with Dh went like this 

Dh " I really want another and I always hoped they would be close in age " as he rubs my tummy saying " are you sure there's no baby in there?"
me "  would love another any ideas how to make it happen"
Dh " don't sleep with the post man"
me " no likely he's a she!!!!"

so we decided to give it another 6 month aux natural then see about getting some help.

in the mean time think I have pee'd on too many sticks in the year and even taken to buying them in the states as the dollar is so good against the pound.

right will you still have me or am I too mad?

Fran


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## pollttc

Hi Fran and Tinks
COme join us in our new 'yes we're all going a bit mad together' thread!

I feel like I am going insane at times - am sooo broody feel I will burst. My Mum has said she will give us the money for a go at FET but I don't think DH feels he can take any money from her - she's been very supportive financially to us and of course there's the 'it might not work' and 'we can't afford another one even if we do manage to conceive' argument - oh and the 'How many embies would you put back?' conversation too.

Meanwhile AF's seem all over the place - probably flipping perimenopausal to top it all but can't bring myself to get it checked out - don't really want to know - I'm only 37 for goodness sake.

I can feel my head saying 'blah blah blah' now - probaby better stop.
Oh finally - DH's Mum and Dad were totally disinterested in my pgy and then little Daisy until she was oh - 18mths but then our clever beautiful girl worked her magic and they are besotted with her - to the point that they were talking about how much she'd like a sibling and would we consider treatment etc - OMG - made me even worse than before!

Ah well

Take care Broodies

Poll


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## [email protected]

Hi, 
Not sure if I qualify for this board - how mad to you have to be ? 

My Baby is now 21 months old and actually turning into a grown up. She announced her full name on Saturday. Both me and DH sat there amazed - where did it come from ? Probably me, reading books with her and saying "this book belongs to ......." each time. She loves hats, glasses, shopping and handbags ! She often gets a hat on, grabs a handbag - pushes her shopping trolley up and down the hallway saying "bye see you soon, shopping" 

Anyway, have had these baby thoughts for a while now. We have 5 frosties - our only chance of getting another miracle. DH morphology is not that good. Have paid half a year storage charge for the frosties - taking us up to end of March 08 - it will then be D day. Do you use them (yes, yes yes) or leave them (noooooooooooooooo). DH is having mixed feelings - does not want us to have triplets ! I keep explaining  that we will be very lucky if any of the frosties survive. 

I actually feel guilty in wanting another baby, I have been reading (lurking) messages for the last month or so and know how hard it is when you are trying to get pregnant each month.  Thought aobut joining the FET board but then did not want to upset anyone!!

So, hello to everyone

Maddie. 

Poll - how many embies will you have put back


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## pollttc

I like your question - 'how many will you put back' not 'if you do it how many etc....'
Don't know if we'll ever be able to do it - but GOd how do you justify letting those little potentials perish without at least having a chance?
Don't know how many we'd put back if we did - like you got five grade one frosties - can't have them all!

Hmmmm

POll


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## Siobhan1

Just came on to give out some   

I'm lurking really....not much to say...my 'baby' turned 2 at the weekend & the wicked   has arrived with her broody hormones  

Hope you are all ok  

Siobhan x


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## *looby*

Oooohhh Siobhan 

I came on to say almost the exact same thing    

Madam is 2 today - AF arrived in full force this morning and all i can do is think about falling pg again    

Love to all 

xxx


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## pollttc

What are we like?? I have just finished the old witch - and yet again, stoopid hope against hope makes me feel all 'ooh maybe this month'. Last night I said to DH that he had to either make me pg (no pressure - we're unexplained!!) or think of a way to stop me being so broody all the flipping time - strangely he didn't respond!!

Take care all (at work, shouldn't be posting at all!)

Poll


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## JaneNewcastle

Poll

I know about the hope thing, like I said earlier, been through about 12 tests in four months.

Last night, I had a tiny bit of spotting, even started to think it could be implantation bleed, but no, it was just AF turning up four days early!



Hope everyone is having a great Friday.

Jane
xx


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## sallywags

I used my last test the other day - 2 days after AF cos i was sick of having it in the house, taunting me!!   

Sods law, i turned out a cupboard looking for a sling for my niece who has broken her finger - and what did i find?  A [email protected] HPT!!!!!


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## JaneNewcastle

I used my last one today, had a small bleed last night, which I thought hope against hope might be an implantation bleed.

However it seems that it was just me having a 23 day cycle for some reason!


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## Baxy

Hi everyone

Well I am officially proper majorly broody at the moment!
Just read gizmos post and realised that all the feelings I had 2/3 years ago are coming back  I _never_ thought they would after having Megan but I can't help it, all the jealousy and panicing. I think this partly the reason that my DH is really dragging his feet over trying again, as I think he remembers only too well the trauma we went through month after month and I don't think he wants either of us to go through that again   
I just don't know what to do......  And I feel awful writing this here as we have a chance of a natural pg so we don't have the added stress of tx.

 to everyone xxx


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## FEW

hi

Baxy I know what you mean, we think it may be possible to conceive nos 2 aux natural ( but realistically the chances are slim) but it puts us back on the roller coaster of thinking ov, signs symptoms, is this af or not, it's not a fun roller coaster when you do it everymonth. 

don't feel guilty about writting here many of us are in the same boat in that the emotions we all feel about wanting another are the same even though circumstances are different.

IF is a cruel card to be dealt whatever form it takes and whatever treatment or natural road we try. 
what I am trying to say is the wanting never goes away so join us.

Jane sorry AF was early sucks when that happens

Poll sounds like you have a dillema re FET hope you reslove it 

well I have a quite morning as Teagan stayed at a friends last night so DH could take me out for my birthday, we had a loevely evening but did spend much of dinner discussing or wnat for nos 2. it was a positive conversation though but it appears his bump envy is bigger than mine if thats possible ( mental image of man with bump!!! ) but in some respects at least we are wanting the same, it must be hard for only one side of a partner ship to want more.

anyway had loads of pressies yesterday and going to london with the girlies to see a show later so will keep bump envy in check.

bye for now

Fran


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## Siobhan1

Hey Ladies!

Baxy, Don't feel guilty for posting your feelings here. This is exactly what this thread is about.
DH & I are protecting ourselves against a natural pregnancy with no idea whether it would happen or not, but it doesn't stop the broody feelings & we all have a right to them  

Fran,   Enjoy the show! What are you going to see? I haven't been to the theatre in ages! & used to go all the time before Kaydn arrived!  
Glad you & DH are on the same page. Me & my DH are on different pages, we both know we have to wait until next year but he would be quite happy to not have anymore I think   and will probably go ahead for me, and be happy with a positive outcome (don't get me wrong!) but he's not really bothered either way.

Jane, Sorry AF arrived (early!)  

Poll, 
I'm sorry that your decision is so much harder than some of the rest of us on here.
Obviously that decision has to be yours & Kev's but I do think you will spend alot of time thinking what if? if you don't have one more go   I'm not trying to make a decision for you but knowing you as I do & knowing how much you do really want a sibling for Daisy that is my thoughts on the subject    

Welcome Maddie! How fast our babies grow eh?! Everyone says they don't stay babies for long! How right they are!  

Hey Chris! Welcome!
Are you & DH already 'trying' naturally? I'm afraid I can't help on the clearblue, it's not something I've ever looked at.

Bev, Yay to the houses!   Sounds like a good time to be doing it all. By the time the you exchange/move/decorate.....it'll be middle of next year or later & Alex will almost be at pre-school!  

Right, going to have to go, but before I do can I ask you all to step away from the HPTs!   
I'm confused how some of you are managing to fly through them. I've only ever peed on one cause every other month AF arrived to tell me I wasn't pregnant. Put the HPT money in the bank for your little ones!   At most use one a month of your cycles are a bit all over the place.  I shall be keeping an eye on you!   

Hope you are all feeling ok.

Love to you & your little ones!
Siobhan xx


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## *Bev*

Siobhan1 said:


> Bev, Yay to the houses!  Sounds like a good time to be doing it all. By the time the you exchange/move/decorate.....it'll be middle of next year or later & Alex will almost be at pre-school!


No I don't want him to grow up!!! But I do want to release the nursery funds for a new bubba... told you I was mad!!! LOL!

Love to you all.

Bev xx


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## tink

Ho hum everyone,

Hubby watching the rugby so thought I'd go on pc for a while. Probably not the best thing i could have done as i started looking at all Joseph's baby (still is in my eyes) photo's....and it's made me feel even more broody...i can't even blame it on AF hormones as I've just finished...maybe i should go buy one of those pregnancy suits that they wear on telly so i can get over my bump envy...think I'd better go now before the men in white coats turn up. 

Luv

Chris x


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## *Bev*

Chris   you'd better send them round here too... i've just been reading through my diary for 2006... found it in the back of a draw... mainly it says... another afternoon spent at Day Assessment Unit... then a few precious weeks later... Alex born...


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## pollttc

Well - it's D's birthday tomorrow and I'm in a right old state (with you on that one Siobhan) I'm driving DH mad with the 'this time two years ago' (quarter to ten - been having contractions for about five hours (was induced)!) 

I might have to get a pgy suit too Tinks! I keep seeing pg women and then moaning that the mat clothes around now are so much nicer when I was pg etc etc - I must be sooo boring to live with !

Take care all

Poll


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Happy Birthday Emma



Jane
xx


----------



## dippy3

Can I please join you.
We had our DD 11 mths ago and last wk we got a BFN after FET. We are gutted they had to thaw all 7 embroys. So unless we did full treatment we will not be having anymore babies. I really thought it had worked I felt the same as I had when pregnant before. I seem to have become really down very tearful I work 3 days a wk and feel very resentful going there at the mo. We have been trying the natural way since having our DD kept thinking you never know. Thing is I always said I couldn't go through the whole IVF again now I don't know what to do. Sorry for a me post feeling so down about everything at the mo. There are so many mums pregnant in my baby group.
Love to all
Donna


----------



## karenuk

hi 
hope you dont mind me joining you,my story is we have a lovely 3 year old boy after egg donor ivf (me being the recipient) and just out of no where feeling very broody for a sibling for him but like alot of you because of cost prob will not happen.
bev i live not to far from you ,im in swindon we have a friend in witney
hope to get to know you all better
karen


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Please can I join you all. I feel so broody at the mo and have the bump obsession again, and it seems I am surrounded my pg friends. I thought after having Tom my world would be complete but the yearning for another is stronger than ever now I know how wonderful it all is.

We have been ttc naturally for a few months now and I had the naivety that after having Tom maybe but now I have sinking feeling its treatment or nothing. 
We have talked about it and may start trying IVF again next year but really need to chat to you all as feel quite low.

Thanks ladies for listening and hope to get to know you all soon and its great to already see some familar names.  

Jacks xx


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Hi Jacks    Welcome to the still longing even though we feel like we shouldn't be thread!


Well my good friend Howmuchlonger had her twins by elective section on Monday, Jake and Maddie are totally totally gorgeous, I posted some pics in the birth announcement thread.  

Visiting them yesterday afternoon was just wonderful, I'm so happy for her and her DH, but oh my goodness, holding a newborn made my yearning so strong.  Maybe it's a little bit because what was my ectopic would have been due now too.  

I'm looking forward to being a proper Auntie to them and seeing how Marcus responds to such little ones, the smallest baby he has seen so far was my cousins at 4 months.  When I went to pick him up from nursery after the visiting he seemed HUGE!  

Hope you girls are all doing ok.
Jane
xxx


----------



## sallywags

Aw jacks, hi hun - good to see you over here.  I've kind of given up hoping i'm going to fall naturally, particularly now i know we are going to go for treatment in May if nothing happens before. (V unlikely!!)  DH is suddenly really supportive of it, i found out the other day that i am definitely stuck in this job for another almost 4 years, and he sent me a text saying 'have to get you pg then to take you out for a while!'.

Come and chat to us here - you are very welcome.

Big hugs.


----------



## jrhh

Oh thanks Jane and Sally for the kind words and welcomes. Nice to have the support now and not have it going round in my head.

Will do some personals soon when I get time and chance to know everyone.

Love

Jacks x


----------



## pollttc

Hi HO everyone
Well - got the hormones popping out of my head again - lovely AF here for a visit and again reinforcing that I'm not pg! 
Those of you from Oct/NOv 05 will probably remember my rant (that possibly started this board!) I have to say (without any HPT type proof) that I'm pretty sure that I was pg then and miscarried at about six weeks. Both DH and I commented on things at the time and wondered but I didn't do a test because I thought if it was then I'd know soon enough. Since then my periods are back to normal so that convinces me even more - so for some reason this month I feel terrible about it - I always thought that managing to concieve at all would be something even if it didn't want to stay - now I just feel awful and like that might have been it - if you know what I mean!

Blah blah blah - feel like I'm moaning on! 

Hi to all the Broodies - I'm sure you all know what I'm on about

Poll

PS At school in Library - too many kids around now - best get back to report writing!


----------



## sallywags

Ah hun - big hugs.


----------



## tink

Hi Poll,

Big hugs coming your way.

I know where you're coming from though. September was really naff. I truly thought i was pregnant. I felt sick in mornings,couldn't stomach coffee or tea & had sore boobs. I bought a hpt and thought I'd test the next morning and low and behold i came on in the night. It was 41 days. It was a really horrid one, very heavy (tmi sorry) and felt rough with it.

I have no idea how we could afford another child (that's what i keep telling myself)but hey, i have my Joseph that's all that matters. Still feel broody though. 

Keep smiling

Chris xx


----------



## petdowe

Big hugs   from me too
nicky xxx


----------



## shazznewman

Hi, I've posted on so many different subjects now I must look like a sad Muppet.  I am broody, but then I let financial and other things keep changing my mind and no I haven't still been able to make my mind up.  

I've gone as far as having a blood test at the doctors to see if I ovulate and whether things can happen naturally.  I phoned up on Friday and I was shocked to be told that my levels were supposed to be normal.  I'm waiting for a telephone consultation with my Doctor on Tuesday to see what she says, does this mean that I do ovulate and there is now a chance things could happen naturally?  I was all for a few minutes totally excited and thinking yes we can have another and then I crash landed again and thought about the extra work involved, extra childcare costs, would my childminder take 2, she better had as its my Sister and I couldn't afford to pay childcare costs to someone else as my Sister gives me a discount.  Would my job be safe to go back to as its not really busy and it does worry me.  Would I still have time for Kieran, where do we put a new baby, do children need siblings, what are the advantages and what are the dissadvantages of not having them (Kieran does actually have a 1/2 Sister, so he does actually have a sibling).  I don't know whats happened to me, I always used to wont to have 2 children, but I now find myself being selfish thinking that I will have less money and time to spend on my special boy, what if we cannot afford to do things if there was 2 to pay for (+ maintenance for stepdaughter).  

I'm also feeling really guilty for having these thoughts as one of my Sisters is about to start IVF and my sister-in-law had a stillbirth a couple of years ago and is now waiting to see a specialist as they have been trying for over a year.

Thanks.

Shazznewman


----------



## pollttc

Hi Shazzer - just been reading your post on the Working Mums thread. Sounds like we're in a similar boat really. DH and I would love another one but if we think practically then we just can't afford it at all - not to mention the time implications and what one does about childminders' etc. I kind of feel that if we managed it naturally (and we have once if only for a moment) then we'd just have to get on and deal with it. To use our frosties would cost us, might not work and would be like choosing to put us and Daisy into a financially precarious position. DH and I were always 'unexplained' so the fact that my levels and his were normal throughout appeared not to mean anything as we totally failed to conceive naturally after four and a half year's of trying. Been 'not trying not to' for another year and a bit and was amazed to be pg at all but that didn't stay.

On a similar note, doctor agrees that I was probably pg (after I told him all the details - tmi and otherwise) My bloods show my iron levels are down and that may be why I'm so exhausted too. Apparently body is still sorting itself out.

AH well

Poll


----------



## FEW

Hi all

Poll don't feel like your moaning, sorry to hear about the miscarriage, we do generally know if we are pg esp as we are already looking for the signs. I am certain like you I had an early miscarriage last nov I know if I am pg because it makes me burp like mad it is my own personal symptom.  

Some days I really find wanting another ok then other days it makes me feel so cross that it doesn't come easy for us like it does other but I am a firm believer in fate so hopefully the the time is not right just yet. ( let it be soon though)

sorry no other personals but cream crackered as got back from a busy trip to shanghai yesterday and have been sooo busy today so off to bed.

night all
Fran


----------



## jrhh

Hi all,

Well I think its     all round today.

I had an emotional weekend too. Went to a friends baby shower and was surrounded by pg women who kept  moaning about this and that symptom, oh if only hey ladies. They also kept asking if we were planning no2 and I just smiled and said that would be good, oh how lucky they are .

Fran I like your thinking must remember that.

Poll I can related to how you feel. We were unexplained too after 4 years of trying sort help. Hope your iron levels come back up soon and you start to feel better.

Shazzer never feel guilty for your thoughts, we have to think about the reality too. We can't afford another but hey people manage don't they and at least you have everything this time round!

Sally I'm so pleased dh is supportive. We have discussed going for treatment again next year though with still b/f Tom I'm really not sure when. I would hate to stop feeding early and then not be lucky enough to get pg again and that was my only chance to feed. If that makes sense?

Right sorry ladies have to go Tom waking.

Love

Jacks x


----------



## jrhh

Hi all,

How is everyone?

I'm having a flat week and am in need of some cheering up. Have to say that I seem to be surrounded by pg friends and work colleagues  and its getting hard work to keep smiling. Crikey I sound a real   don't I just needed a moan and knew you would understand.

Jacks x


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Jacks 

It's funny, some pg's bring me joy, others bring me heartache.

I watched an awful programme last night on BBC2 about Bulgarian homes for children, I cried myself to sleep thinking how lucky Marcus was to be born here and not there.  I was so cross to think that some people are having children and throwing them away.  I think it's a measure of how emotional I'm feeling right now.

Jane
xxx


----------



## sallywags

Oh god i get so emotional about anything to do with children these days - some things absolutely break my heart. 

Jacks - i know what you mean - i'm getting really desperate to be pg, and i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment!  we definitely do understand - even if you're not posting anywhere else come here and we can chat.


----------



## jrhh

Oh Jane watching things like that breaks my heart. Children in Need was the same. I get so upset and so very angry when so many people in this world crave to care for a child. I know what you mean about some pg's bringing joy. One friend of mine has had 2 miscarriages and she is now 13 weeks pg so I am so vvvvv excited for her.

Sally thanks hun    I know how you feel I feel so desperate these days too, hard hey. Take care.

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

It's quiet round here, guys?  Hope you are all ok - I'm feeling fairly positive at the moment - but that is because i have a little light at the end of the tunnel, knowing that i am due to start treatment next year but still have my moments!  My main moan at the moment is how much of my LOs time i am missing by having to be at work full time. 

Otherwise all ok - hope you are feeling positive!


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Yeah, that working thing.

We bought a new house last year, it needed totally gutting, so I didn't want to move in with a newborn, so we stretched ourselves and bought it without selling our old one.  We've been in a year, and the sale of the old house has fallen through twice now.

So I'm working full time and totally skint!  I think I might not resent it as much if I was making some money that we could actually do things with, but right now, it's all going on childcare and two mortgages.



Right now, when Marcus is just about walking all the time he changes so much every day, I do feel like I am missing such a lot.

Oh and when they cry some mornings when you leave them at nursery.....    


I seem to be coming out of the other side of a very very very broody time, some days I think it's almost feeling Ok that Marcus will be an only one, then the next, I'm crying about it.

Jane
xx


----------



## *Bev*

I'm lurking too!

Ditto Jane, sometimes Ok about the whole IF/ Baby thing but the next a complete mess!!

Alex loves nursery so no regrets there but I do wish I could spend more time with him myself!

Sally glad to see your OK at the mo!

Everyone else   you OK?


----------



## JaneNewcastle

BevTaylor said:


> Alex loves nursery so no regrets there but I do wish I could spend more time with him myself!


Oh don't get me wrong, I know he loves it, it's only for selfish reasons I wish I could do part time!


----------



## sallywags

I'm very lucky that M never cries when i leave her at nursery - she thinks it's fab and never even turns round to wonder where i am!! (that could be famous last words...!)  In fact the only day she ever cried was on Halloween, when i think she was a bit disturbed that the room was full of small crawling pumpkins.....


----------



## *Bev*

Oh what a lovely sight that sounds!!  I sent Alex in a devils outfit, he went running in with this little devils tail swinging away, another one of those heart melting moments!  He never turns round either Sal, I used to find it heartbreaking but I count my lucky stars when I see the poor mum at the door with a small child hanging from her ankles!!


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Marcus went through a clingy period when we came back from holidays, but in general, I also thank whoever that my little one is quite chipy and independent most of the time!


----------



## sallywags

The pumpkins was fab - they were all asked to go as pumpkins (the older ones were just 'fancy dress') but is was so so cute!! i think m was a bit disturbed by all the orange though..!!


----------



## *Bev*

Sal I meant to say too, your weight loss if FAB!  Also your new avatar is SO cute, bless....


----------



## sallywags

That's M in her christening dress! 

the weight loss is going pretty well - it's a fairly serious diet, but it's pretty quick so hopefully won't be for too much longer!  I think i'm about half way there now - will know when i get weighed on monday!!


----------



## pollttc

Hi Ho ladies

Well - still as broody as ever then? I'm due on - can't be pg cos was really poorly with cold this month but still, there's that little bit that says...'ooh but what about that one time we....?'

As for working fulltime, it's horrible isn't it? D goes to a brilliant childminders' which she loves and goes without problems but then she goes and says this morning 'I stay with you day Mummy' just as I was leaving for work (I'm lucky cos DH has her til nine and takes her so I get to do the pick up) Soooo hard to go!

Ah well - I'm off back to work in a mo to see the school production of 'Little Shop of Horrors' - it should be good but I'd still rather sit in a heap and watch I'm a Celeb - whichever way I look at it I'm still going back to work!
Ah well again

Take care all

Poll


----------



## *Bev*

My DH is going to kill me, i've just faxed the Oxford PCT to ask about infertility referall's when its ttc no.2... OMG... 

Poll,  D saying she wants to stay with you must be heartbreaking...  

What was I saying about being Ok about Alex at nursery?!  He had his first injury yesterday, his fault for being too boisterous but another child took a dislike to it and scratched his face pulling him off the back of another child!  My poor baby!!


----------



## JaneNewcastle

LOL Sorry for laughing Bev, but I guess you have to don't you?  I'm forever signing the accident book for Marcus, although to be fair it's so far only been his own injuries.  This morning, he was tottering along and got a bit of a wobble on, so grabbed onto the first thing near, which unfortunately was another teetering toddler and they both went down!

So why will DH kill you?  Isn't it better to be prepared?



Jane
xx


----------



## jrhh

Oooooh Bev how exciting have you told dh yet?  Hope Alex has recovered now. Bless him for having a great time at nursey.

Sal wow on the weight loss, well done you!!! Is it in preparation for treatment next year?  Love the photo of Mollie     to the pumpkins!

Jane Tom is always covered in bruises too, I am forever filling out reports    boys hey.  Glad he is enjoying himself again now. I'm in  the broody stage at the mo, permanently  

Poll hope your having fun with the play. Yes still so broody here too. Af was late so I get all hopeful, silly really how you can convince yourself every month  

Hi to everyone else.

Well a work friend told me she was a few weeks pg last week, after 4 months of trying. Oh it really does get harder and harder. I am going for ovulation bloods this month so I shall see if I am ovulating. The OPK's detect a surge but you never know. Think I may send dh for a sperm test again too just to check everything. Poor chap!
Does anyone know if you have had trt before on the NHS whether you can get it again or if you need to pay?
On a good note though Tom is fab and I am having so much fun    

Take care all

Jacks


----------



## *Bev*

DH and I have talked about No.2 and trying again when Alex starts pre-school (3yrs) but my point is, if they are going to make me start again from scratch which was hinted at last time I saw them (18 monthe hell), then they will make me do all the ov testing for a few months, then sperm test for DH amongst other stuff for me before they send the referall off to Oxford, I don't know if this is down to my GP's ignorance or whether its the PCT so i'm going to find out!!

I don't want my DH to think that i'm getting all 'stressed' about it all again so i'll just discuss it with him once I know one way or the other!!

Oh Jane I was nearly in tears when I picked him up but I didn't know if I was going to cry because he'd been hurt or because he'd hurt someone else    probably both!!  He's so boisterous it takes the word to a whole new level, nursery said they only have one other boy who interacts with Alex in rough play and he is a year older than him, going to toddlers in Jan!  Who knows whats going to happen from then on!!

Jacks good luck with the ov test hun, I hope it comes back positive!  Although I will say I have no faith in the tests from my point of view, they tested me before and whilst on clomid but it came back negative, how come I got pg then?!    Good luck.

Bev xx


----------



## sallywags

Jacks - am really pleased that my weight is finally going down - it's partly in anticipation of more tx - i don't want to start on hormones when i was so much heavier  - but also i was just getting sick of still carrying so much baby weight around and decided it was time for drastic action!!


----------



## Marielou

Thanks Jacks for telling me about this thread - I've been so broody lately and have been feeling so down, which is all very mixed as I know how lucky I am to have my littleman.  But, if we had no fertility problems, I'd be pregnant or trying again by now    and its hard, isn't it? 

Looks like a lot of familliar faces!

Marie xxx


----------



## *Bev*

Marie WELCOME hun, we're all in the same or similar boat hun  

I spoke to DH about my email to the PCT   he was fine about it and said at least we'll know where we stand and it wouldn't be a disaster if it happened sooner        I couldn't believe it, not at all the response I was expecting!  I received a response saying they'd recommend I speak to my GP    I  have since replied with "....I'm writing to you as I am getting no answers from my GP, I feel very much as if I'm not being taken seriously.  I'm sure you can appreciate this is frustrating for me....." etc etc!

I met with some FF's from our local thread on Saturday and had a cuddle with a tiny baby... how I managed to restrain those tears i'll never know!  

 's all round

Bev xx


----------



## jrhh

Hi all

Marie your welcome hunni I was so chuffed when I found this thread and thought it may help. I know what you mean, we have been trying but no avail here so looks like treatment again for us maybe next year if I can face it.

Bev eeeeeee thats great with dh, bet you were so pleased      from the PCT  well done on writing the repsonse letter, keep us posted.      on the newborn and even more well done for not crying. My friend has had a baby and its heartwrenching isn't it giving them a cuddle.

Much the same here ladies and trying hard for a natural pg. Strange how every month I get optimistic you'd think I would have learned by now  

Sorry to make this short but need to get T up for swimming.

    to all aswell  

Jacks xxx


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Well had a bit of an up and down weekend.

Had some awful abdo pains, even got myself convinced that it might be a pg, then started to worry that I'd recently had a mammogram and what harm that could have done.  

Then yesterday went out for lunch and Marcus was a total star, charming everyone, and had sea bass and parmesan mash.    He also said "Ganda" to my dad for the first time, which chuffed his Granda no end.  My nephew was also there, and realising that Marcus can now walk and get to things more quickly  resorted to pushing him out of the way, well Marcus wasn't having any of that and gave just as good as he got, climbing on top of Jack in the ball pit etc.  

When we came home he was singing along with the choir on Songs of Praise, so sweet.  

I think I am starting to believe that Marcus will be an only one, makes me very sad to think that he will not know the pleasure of having a sibling, and I hope that I can end up with a little one that isn't spoiled by being the only one.

Hope you're all doing OK.

Jane
xx


----------



## *Bev*

Jane.... I will not have that defeatist attitude


----------



## JaneNewcastle

To be honest Bev it's more of a "trying to be happy with what I have" attitude.  I missed out on enjoying my pregnancy because after my previous losses it was hard for me to believe it was going to happen, once I did believe it at 28 weeks, I only had two more weeks before my waters broke!!  

It's not that I'm giving up, but by the time I've lost enough weight for IVF then I am going to be 42.  I've still got two houses, so don't have the cash for it anyway until we sell that *&%£ old house.

With seeing Marcus walking around, and how he was in the restaurant with everyone, my heart nearly bursting with joy and pride, I want to try and concentrate on those feelings.

Of course this doesn't mean I won't be continuing to come here and moan about the broodiness!!!



Jane
xx


----------



## *Bev*

Always here for you mate


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Truthfully Bev, there are times I don't know what I would have done without you.



Jane
xx


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies

Jane oh hun I know what you mean about your heart swelling with pride. What a darling, bet you were so proud too. I can see where you are coming from with your comment too, I said that to my dh only the other day.   

Bev have you had any news?

Well I have my ovultion test on monday, wish me luck ladies.

Love to everyone else.

Jacks xx


----------



## sallywags

Hi hun - good luck for monday!

I'm so looking forward to xmas - i am going to the crib service on xmas eve at hte church that dh and i got married in, and me and my sister are going to dress the two babies (Mollie and her cousin who is 16m old) as angels!  I can't wait - they are goign to look SOOO cute!!

I have started slowly making enquiries as to what we are going to need to do next year if we start tx again - we are going to try and get a SA done first to see what we are up against!


----------



## Marielou

I've started making enquiries too - I was starting to feel so sad, down and bitter again about IF that I had to do something or I was going to wreck my marriage.    I've been so frustrated and angry, and have taken it all out on poor Mark, bless him.    

Anyway, I'm going to seriously talk to my clinic next week about having a natural FET, while still breastfeeding, and if that fails, talk about going down the (natural) dIUI route again.  I'm scared of that really, as I had so many before that failed, but it did work for me once (Lost Charlie at 14 weeks) so its not impossible.   I'm feeling really psotive about it at the moment, but I know thats subject to change! 

Jacks - Best of luck for the ov test   

Sally - Hope the SA is good news - I'd love to be on the pregnancy boards with all of you again   

Jane - I know I personally do have age on my side, but DH does'nt (he's 46) and he's not wanting to try past 49/50 so I feel the strain that side, however, 3-4 years is a long time    I also have days where I imagine Ethan as an only child, and although it deeply saddens me, I can also see the positives - our little family of 3 works and we're happy.    

Bev - Any news from the PCT?

Marie xxx


----------



## *Bev*

Jacks I hope your test goes well today hun, how quickly do your surgery turn the results round?

Sal Oh bless you dressing Mollie up as an angel, look forward to seeing the piccies!

Marielou i'm sorry your feeling so down hun, keep talking here we're all in similar boats and are here for each other.  I can only imagine how testing this must be for your marriage but stay   it happened before it WILL happen again.

I hit another brick wall with the PCT, it seems there are no cut and dry policies with OI (ovulation induction) as its not as in depth as IVF i'm presuming.  So while i'm 'grateful' to have been lucky to concieve with clomid there are no definates on the referall process!  I think i'm going to 'forget' (yeah right) about it for now and concentrate on getting my body fit and healthy for the next few months then have the coil removed and look at being referred from there!  So perhaps by the summer I can start to think about next steps!  My body is a disgrace since having Alex (not that i'd change it for the world), its so loose and flabby.  I'm no heavier which is a god send but just so unfit and unhealthy....  

Lots of love and hugs for you all.

Bev xx


----------



## jrhh

Thanks ladies.

Marie      well done you for taking some positive moves forward, I feel the same with still b/f T too and would hate to stop early (not that he would let me    )

Bev       to you too. Good for you getting your body back in shape though running around after Alex should help with that     I shpould get my results at the end of the week.

Sally oooh how gorg, you must get some photos.  Well done on the enquiries. We have started to make some too.

Hi to everyone else hope your all ok.

Jacks x


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Well I was out having a lovely night with my friend at the Wet Wet Wet concert last night, the conversation got round to IVF.  This lady is a practice nurse, and obviously deals with people struggling often.  She said, "all those TTC seem a bit obsessed to me".  I got so cross, because although she did have a m/c before her two children, she went to concieve them both straight away two years apart.  I said to her that if you have been trying to have a baby for years and years it's bound to get the better of you at some point, and that someone who hasn't been there cannot possibly understand.



Jacks - Good luck for your results.

Good luck to everyone else starting to make enquiries.  We all deserve it, we can't be feeling guilty for wanting more children, it's the most natural thing in the world to want.

Jane
xxx


----------



## jrhh

Well ladies my af arrived today and its my birthday, double whammy


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Jacks  

 for AF

 for your birthday!

Jane
xxx


----------



## jrhh

Hi lovely ladies ,

Just wanted to pop on and wish you all a FAB XMAS AND NEW YEAR         

Hope you all have a lovely time with your LO's.

Much love 

Jacks xxxx

P.S. My ovulation results came back good so        

xxx


----------



## sallywags

That's excellent jacks - good news!

Merry xmas all!


----------



## Siobhan1

Hi All!

I hope you've all had a good Christmas. We've had a lovely time (so far!) I still have all my family coming today.

Well AF has just arrived & oddley I remember getting my AF on Boxing Day 2004, as that was my last period before falling pregnant with Kaydn.

Feeling a bit yuck & sad as DH & I were chatting on Sunday & although we'd kind of agreed to try for baby no 2 from April next year, DH now wants to wait until the year after, so my dream of holding another new born is even further away. At the moment it feels like forever. 

I am so lucky to have the wonderful boy I have in my life though. He really is such a star & I am so proud of him & his good nature. How wonderful life would be with 2 of him!  

Sorry for a me post, I never talk to anyone about wanting another child so this is the only place I can say it.

Hope all your little ones are enjoying their new toys!

Love to all!
Siobhan xx


----------



## pollttc

Hi Siobhan
Glad you've had a good Christmas! Ditto to AF on Boxing Day - just come on - spent yesterday with sore boobs thinking 'what if' (Ha!) 
Been over to in-laws today and FiL was going on about having a grandson - think he's forgotten how we finally came to have Daisy.
DH and I keep umming and aahing about using our frosties but it's all a bit of a moot point really as we don't have the cash!

Ah well

You're in good company Siobhan - us Broodies wanting but not even having chance to try or investigate need to have our little place to sound off!

Take care 
Poll


----------



## Charlies-Mum

Hi Ladies

Can I join you. We have started TTC 'properly' this month. AF is due next saturday and I'm already knickerwatching   

I guess I thought it would be easier for no2 but I'm already driving myself bonkers 

Deb


----------



## sallywags

OMG how wierd - also got AF on boxing day! wasnt expecting it until around fri/sat, so


----------



## Siobhan1

Charlies-Mum said:


> Hi Ladies
> 
> Can I join you. We have started TTC 'properly' this month. AF is due next saturday and I'm already knickerwatching
> 
> I guess I thought it would be easier for no2 but I'm already driving myself bonkers
> 
> Deb


Hi Deb!

You're more than welcome to join us but you may feel more at home on the 'Another miracle' thread if you have started back on the ttc rollercoaster.

We started this thread as a few of us felt we didn't belong anywhere as we are broody for baby no.2 but are not actively ttc or in my case preventing pregnancy for a couple more years but can't help feeling the pangs of wanting 

Good luck on your journey. I hope to see a lovely expecting ticker on your posts in the near future 

Hope everyone is well.

Happy New Year to you all!

Siobhan xx


----------



## Charlies-Mum

Thanks Siobhan - I'll be reading here but posting on the other board.

Big  to you all
Deb


----------



## 0604

Hi
Just found this board. I am broody and thinking about the ttc again. Had clomid last time, so do I start this again?
Also very scared as had pnd quite badly and really do not want to put any of us back through that again!!!

Sarah 0604


----------



## Siobhan1

Hi Sarah,

Welcome to the Broody corner!

If you are not already ttc to conceive naturally I would start with that before heading straight on to clomid again. 

When I eventually start ttc again I will be trying naturally for at least 3-6 months before heading to my GP for referral, although I think when it took us so long the 1st time around we are even more impatient & if it doesn't happen the 1st month of trying we want to be seen, but you never know, I see so many natural pregnancies on this site especially 2nd time around I want to give that a go before putting my emotions through clomid again!   .

I'm afraid I don't know what to say about the pnd, is it something you could talk to your gp about? or did you see anyone for councelling? as they may be able to put your mind at ease about future babies.

Happy New Year to you all! 

I'm glad to be able to say we'll be ttc for bub no2 'next year' instead of in a couple of years!  

Siobhan xx


----------



## *Bev*

Hi Ladies

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  How are we all?

Siobhan - how exciting, your trying next year!!!!  

Sarah - Hi, i'd try naturally for a few months at least and see how you get on.  I've been told that i'll never concieve naturally but i'm starting accupuncture in July in a hope that it will sort out my endo probs and will be hoping for a natural miracle.  I will ask for a referral a few months later if no luck!

Charlies Mum - Wishing you all the luck for 2008

 for all you ladies who had AF arrive on Boxing Day, that damn witch!!

Lots of positivity coming from me at the moment, we have decided to get healthy for six months, not specially dieting just being healthy in our food choices and perhaps some occassional excercise (nothing too strict as we won't stick to it!!).  I'm going to have my coil removed in June and start accupuncture in July in the hope that I can find a good accupuncturist who specialises in womens health and to sort out my endo/ cycles which in turn will give us a stab at trying naturally... what harm can it do?!  If we are unsuccessful I will ask for a referall to the hospital for OI with clomid perhaps nearer Christmas next year, and we've decided not to tell anyone of our plans (except you lot of course and my BF who is also an FF!!)  It put too much pressure on last time and I dream of being able to keep a pg secret until 12w      

Lots of love and   vibes coming your way for 2008.

Bev xx


----------



## Neeta

Bev - Your secrets safe with me


----------



## *Bev*

I know


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Bev thats FANTASTIC news well done you. I am so pleased to hear you so positive and of course your secrets safe with us   

Hi Sarah I agree with Siobhan about having a chat with your GP. At least then you can discuss all your concerns.

Siobhan how exciting too, I have everything crossed for you.

Debs hope things work there too.

Marie have you decided about FET. I saw your post re b/f. How are you feeling now hun?   

Sally hello hunni, how's things there?

Poll boo to af on Boxing Day. 

Hi to everyone else.

Well all positive here too, we are planning a kick start on the health routine and I have an appoint to see the GP tomorrow to discuss treatment again so will keep you posted. Not sure if we will be able to get funding and I am still feeding but it feels good to get the ball rolling again.

Happy new year ladies and I hope it brings us our wishes     


Jacks x


----------



## shazznewman

Hi, didn't know if to post this here.  Yes I would like another and dh did for a short while (couple of months) and I did get as far as my Doctors and she let me have a blood test and I found out that my fertility level was ok.  I was really shocked at the thought things might happen naturally as we had IVF before.  The problem now is that dh has changed his mind, I wasn't sure at first and now I am and its too late.  

Not sure if theres anyone else in this situation, dh seems to think hes getting older and hes a bit of a money worrier and doesn't think we can afford another child (we also pay maintenance for his daughter from his 1st marriage).  I've been selling Kierans things to try and get my head around the fact that I don't need to keep them for any reason.  I just have to keep reminding myself that we are and have been alot luckier than some, but it still doesn't stop me feeling that I would love to be pregnant and have another baby and a sibling for Kieran, so he has someone nearer his own age, dsd is 13.

Shazznewman


----------



## jrhh

Shazznewman,

Post here if you like. Its such a difficult time isn't it when you both feel differently. Have you sat down and talked things through so you both can explain how you feel?



Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

Shazz - if it's any consolation we have almost exactly the same problem!  We pay for 2 older children (my step children, who are lovely), and M cost us a huge amount in the end! (about £20,000) DH is also 44 so would happily stop now, and we had the same kind of conversation.

i am very lucky in that he has come round recently and agreed to give it another go, but it was a difficult time for us.

Big hugs to you - PM me if you want to chat about it.


----------



## pollttc

Hi Ho Broodies!
Well - colleague came in with six wk old baby on Thursday - OMG she was the first newborn I've held since Daisy - I'd forgotten just how luvverly it is! People kept saying 'oh you look so comfortable, it really suits you etc, why don't you have another, will you have another...." Hrumph!

Then yesterday friends came over with their seven month old baby - OMG again. Daisy was so lovely with him too - I think she'd like a sibling! (Or am I putting that on her)

Just wish we could do this naturally - no real chance of using our frosties as no cash and no extra money to look after another anyway..... so if it was just luck we'd have to deal with it. What some how makes it worse is that there was nothing explained wrong with either of us. NOt counting having Daisy - we've unsuccessfully tried naturally for over seven yrs now and that unexplained tag really doesn't help

Ah well - had a brilliant weekend with my gorgeous girl

Poll


----------



## sarahc

Hi everyone

happy new year.

Haven't read all posts but quick update - dh and i have decided not to take clomid in the spring. We have had such a rough 2007 and i know that a BFN would devastate me, especially with a friend due that time too (no4) so going to enjoy this year, lots happening at work, enjoy the girls, each other and leave things unprotected. Booked a holiday, joined the gym, will settle amy into school and having an us year. May decide differently end of the year and it's been left very open, however it does not take away us feeling broody and if we could concieve naturally I know we would go ahead but hey ho. 

hope everyone ok will do personals soon  x x x x


----------



## jrhh

Hi everyone,

Poll I know what you mean about babies, It really does tug at the heartstrings hey!

Sarahc glad you have made some decisions.

Hi to everyone else. How are you all feeling?

Having a bit of a blue week this week, feel a bit down about everything but trying to stay focused.

Love

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

Jacks - i know what you mean hun, i'm wondering if trying again is a bad idea..... eek that's the first time i've said that out loud....


----------



## *Bev*

Lots of   for you all...

Bev xx


----------



## sallywags

Thanks Bev


----------



## jrhh

Thanks Bev.

Sally its so hard isn't it. We have signed up for more IVF and I am now terrified of the heartache and potential disappointment. (Forever the optimist hey )  I am def going to go through with it just need to panic a bit first I think    

xx


----------



## sallywags

Ooh that's exciting - when do you start?

I've had a few wobbles lately - i.e. with moving house, we can't afford to 'throw away' £6,000!


----------



## jrhh

Hi Sally,

We may be able to get funding so its a waiting game at the mo whilst we find out. A referral letter has gone off so we are now in "the system"    

I know what you mean about the money. We can't afford to go private at the mo and sadly have no frozen embryo's from our first IVF. So fingers crossed.

x


----------



## sallywags

Wow, funding would be brilliant - we were written off at the beginning for lots of reasons so have had to self fund all the way through.  We never got any frosties either.


----------



## jrhh

I know it would be hey!!!

Will keep you posted though it could be a while  

Any house news?


----------



## sallywags

We've got 2 viewings booked - one this afternoon and one tomorrow!  Fingers crossed!


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Fingers crossed for me too please girls, after a year on the market, and two sales fallen through at the last minute, we really need to sell our old house.  We stretched ourselves buying our new one before selling the old one because I didn't want to live in a a building site with a newborn.

On Thursday a first time buyer is going back for a second viewing with her family, so I'm very hopeful.



Jane
xx


----------



## sallywags

Ooh fingers crossed!  Could you let out your old house?


----------



## JaneNewcastle

We didn't want to rent it out officially because we need the equity in it to finish the work on the new house.

Vicious circle.  

Never mind, I have a good feeling about this one.

I hope you get rave reviews too Sallywags.



Jane
x


----------



## sallywags

Lets hope we both get some good results from these viewings then!

It's such a frustrating process, isn't it?!


----------



## pollttc

Hi Ho
Quick question - I though you couldn't get funding if you already had a child? We have frosties but can't afford to use them. We self funded our IVF cos the free ones hadn't started and we couldn't wait. 
How does one go about that then?

Poll


----------



## jrhh

Hi Jane  fingers and toes crossed for the viewing. Keep us posted.

You too Sally!

Poll I am still unsure if we are entitled to funding for the IVF and I know areas have different policies. We are waiting news form the hospital to see if we can, meanwhile we just have to wait. I'll let you know.

Take care all

Jacks x


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

I'm having a blue day today, how is everyone else doing?

Love

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

Aw hun - just saw your post about BF - you have done so amazingly - I am quite jealous!  I agree that you should keep going until he chooses the time.

I'm feeling a bit blue too - wicked witch arrived today after keeping me waiting for 4 days - and that never happens, so it was long enough to start me thinking.....

big hugs all round i think...


----------



## FEW

hi all

rough day for me too   two of the girls in Teagans music class announced their pg today and it really suddenly hit me I want another NOW!!!!

grumpy tired and a large glass of wine on the go

Fran


----------



## jrhh

Thanks Sally. I am so pleased with the b/f though I think the end is in sight now so I shall make the most of our time. I need to look at it positively as I couldn't start trt whilst feeding but I know i will be gutted. So sorry to read about af, keep those hopes up lady!!!

Fran hope the wine helped   I seem to be surrounded by pg people at the mo, its so hard.


----------



## jrhh

Morn all,

I need cheering up badly ladies. I called the hospital yesterday to check about the funding and Poll you were right we can't have it due the success of having T last time. I can't put into words how I feel but devastated simply isn't enough.
We have an appointment early next month to discuss our options and I feel so angry at how they can "decide" your life for you.
I got my af yesterday too, just to add to me feeling a failure.

Jacks x


----------



## *Bev*

Jacks i'm sorry hun...


----------



## sarahc

Jacks that's horrible, just because you had success last time doesn't take your dream or your right to want and have more children. Please don't say your are a failure - you are anything but!

I don't really know about the whole funding/paying thing because luckily for us clomid worked but I do know some of your frustration, when Amy was 18mth I had a natural pg and it ended in m/c, we had been trying for no2 for a yr so I saw my Gp for more clomid and he said I had to wait a year because I'd had a natural pg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I took what I had left in the cupboard and chanced it! It resulted in Hannah and I intend to do the same again when the time's right.

Sending you big hugs honey x x x x x

Members are reminded that Fertility Friends does not condone or encourage self-medicating/self-administering prescribed drugs


----------



## *Bev*

Oh Sarah please don't tell me you took clomid without your cons knowing, puts all sorts of wonderful ideas into my head... lol


----------



## sarahc

oh yes I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Naughty I know but the result is my gorgeous Hannah so worth it x x


----------



## pollttc

I'd just check that the pills were in date before you took them though! Not to put a dampner on things, if you'd had a m/c, I suppose it could be natural rather than the clomid!

Bev - sorry to hear about the funding. I did think that was the case - it's really unfair too cos if we'd waited a bit we'd have got funding for our first go and then could have self funded the FET. As it is, we used all our savings to have Daisy and now don't qualify! Great!

Hope you feel a bit better Bev!

Poll


----------



## *Bev*

I have to share this with you, I can't tell anyone else... but I found it hilarious in a sad sort of way.

I had my coil removed last month in preperation to start accupuncture to try and establish a normalish cycle (never ovulated without clomid and no cycles, either bleeding non stop for weeks/months or no bleed at all.  Well when I had my coil removed I bled horrifically (seeing gyane in a couple of weeks) BUT it stopped of its own accord which is amazing for my stupid body after 11days, since it stopping I seem to have found my libido which disappeared about 3-4 years ago and DH and I are 'enjoying' ourselves!  I gave DH the sole resposibility for contraception, i've handled it all these years so now its his turn, WELL for the past week he hasn't made any attempt at using anything, last night he saw the OPK in the bathroom which looks like its getting darker and therefore i'm hoping ovulation will occur sometime soon.... last night he decided to use a hood, we had decided not to ttc until the end of the year, I merely had my coil removed to see if a normal cycle could be established but I laughed at him suddenly deciding to use something but this morning I feel quite sad about it... he does want another baby just not right now which is sensible financially but...  

Jacks are you OK hun?

Sarah good for you hun, the clomid in my medicine box keeps winking at me!!

Fran  

Sally/ Jane  

Poll are you OK?

Love and hugs to you all.

Bev xx


----------



## sallywags

Bev - don't know whether to laugh too or give you a big hug! probably both... bless dh!

still feeling really torn about starting treatment - am going to have a clairvoyant reading soon to see if it makes me feel more positive about trying again!! I have been told in the past i am only going to have one pregnancy - but is that just because that is what i have been told so i don't try again?!?! does that make sense?!?!    Aargh - what to do, eh?


----------



## *Bev*

Let us know how you get on with clairvoyant.. btw your BMI is looking healthy congrats.


----------



## sallywags

Thanks Bev - jsut replied to you in Fat Club actually!  I'm not being v good now though - i have put on this week, i'm finding it very difficult to motivate myself at the mo.  I need to establish a proper healthy eating plan and pre-plan my meals, because at the moment i am eating junk or nothign at all which is obviously a really bad thing to do!


----------



## jrhh

Hi ladies,

Bev     great news on the libido!!!!!  Bless dh. I can understand your sadness though too hun. I am still feeling quite low to be honest though we have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow as we can have all the usual tests done under the NHS just the treatment privately, though I doubt we will be able to finance it ourselves. My neighbour kindly told me yesterday how she wished she had not had 3 children as she was fed up with them, I wanted to    her

Poll I don't understand. Surely if you funded yourself first time round you could have NHS funding?  that seems so bloody unfair!

Jane any news on the house?

Sally yes v well done on the weight loss me dear. Your allowed a blip!!  let us know how the Clairvoyant goes.

Sarah thanks for the hugs    well done on the clomid!!!

My little man is poorly today, keeps being sick. I hate seeing him ill but on the up side I am getting lots of snuggles.

Love to all

Jacks x


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Jacks - the first time buyers have put in an offer that we accepted and they have already had the survey done, so it's looking good so far.....  

Sorry to hear your little one is being sick, it's so yukky when they are really poorly and you can't explain to them isn't it.


Bev - Try and concentrate on enjoying the sex, it's actually quite liberating to be having sex without worrying about the time of the month and have I ovulated etc...  

Sally - Well done on the weight loss, I am really struggling, just can't seem to get my head in the right place for that at the minute.

Poll - Sorry to hear that your PCT will not fund your FET, this money lottery is just awful isn't it?


Jane
xxx


----------



## Marielou

Jacks - First time round, our PCT wouldn't fund treatment as I was under 28.    (they wouldn't even fund my drugs or clomid, nothing) Now, they've changed their criteria and you can get funding from the age of 24, so I'm eligible, but, like most PCT's, if you already have a child, even if you've had to self-fund due to their criteria, they won't fund it.    Hugely annoying. 

Jane - Oh wow, have you found a house you like? 

Bev - I agree with Jane, its lovely to have sex and not worry about the time of the month!  Mind you, that feeling quickly returned for me ....  

Marie xxx


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Marie - We already bought the house before Marcus was born, but it needed so much work doing I didn't want to move into it with a newborn.  We stretched ourselves with two mortgages until the work was finished, never thinking it would take 12 months for the old place to sell, it's fallen through on chains twice already, hopefully this will be the one!

Jane
xx


----------



## sarahc

One of my best friends has just phoned and announced baby no2 on the way - I am soooooo pleased and not even a tad jelous (honest) she lives a long way from me so can't get bump envy!!!!! But I so want to just take my clomid now! Feeling very broody for pg and babies. oh well. I am a week late on my period today - I did test on Monday and it was negative so fairly sure that it will stay that way. Some months I have long cycles some not so although a small glimmer of hope is there I don't think it can be.

has anyone any experience of a fertility monitor? Was thinking of buying one to try and see if I ovulate naturally? or are the sticks as effective?

x x x


----------



## 0604

Hi

Still feeling broody and having sat down with dh not sure how will afford another! eg child care costs and stuff. Not fair - I work my heart out and no result!
Then i feel greedy as have beautiful son. 
On other hand loads of people cope dont they?
HO HUM
Think cos its been half term I have so much time to think!

Sarah


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Oh Sarah, we're not greedy, we are following natural instincts.  People without IF issues are never thought of as greedy if they have more than one child are they?  

With regard to the money etc, I think that if it happened naturally we would all just have to cope, it's because we have to go through a process, make a concious choice that money becomes more of an issue.

I think I am starting to accept that Marcus will be an only child, and anything else is a bonus.

Jane
xx


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Sarah I agree with Jane its not being greedy at all. I can understand how you feel about working so hard and never having enough money. We feel like that with self funding the IVF, and its so hard knowing that the money just isn't there.

Jane I an really struggling with the thought that T is possibly my only child, we are even considering adoption.

My friend gave birth to a little boy this morning, he's adorable and of course the heart strings are now in turmoil  

Hope your all ok ladies.

Jacks xx


----------



## Rachel

Hello everyone

I have only just found this thread. I am in exactly the same situation. Really want to have another go very soon but worry about coping etc. I am 40 this year so am aware that time is ticking fast for getting pg and coping as an older mommy. I am not old in my head and I am fairly fit and healthy having just lost 4 stones but we can't stop our bodies getting older can we! We have a holiday booked in Marbella in Oct for my 40th and we had tx at Ceram which is in Marbella so were thinking of killing 2 birds with one stone so to speak and having an FET while we're there but I have it in my head to have one NOW. Why are there always so many decisions to make?!  

I seem to think about it all the time at the moment. If you ladies don't mind me joining you it would be nice to chat to others in the same boat  

Rachel x


----------



## jrhh

Hi Rachel,

Your more than welcome to join us hun      well done on te weight loss too.

Jacks
xxxxxxxx


----------



## Rachel

Thanks Jacks   and thanks for the congrats on the weight loss too  

Rachel x


----------



## isobel

Hello!

I have been lurking here for a while......

Rachel when I saw your post I thought I had better come out of hiding. Your girls look so adorable. And well, wow you have done really well with your weight loss.

Hello to everyone else too. We have Thomas aged 18 months, and have an appointment on friday at our clinic to discuss FET. It feels as if ALL my baby friends are pg again 

Isobel
XXX


----------



## Rachel

Hi Isobel!

I was wondering how you were a couple of weeks ago!

Lovely to hear from you. Good luck for Friday  

Take care

Love, Rachel xx


----------



## isobel

Thanks Rachel! 

I feel better now I have finally posted here,feels like a whole new world.......


Looking forward to lots of chatting 

Isobel
XXX


----------



## *Bev*

Hi Ladies

Isobel welcome to the thread hun and good luck with your appointment on Friday.

Rachel your Marbella holiday sounds like the perfect oppurtunity to have treatment again - good luck making your decision    Oh to be 'normal' hey and just start trying and hey presto a couple of months later pg  

Jacks how are you doing hun?  I know how you feel about your friend giving birth recently, a friend of mine text me yesterday to say she'd had her baby girl yesterday morning... she is also the lady who told me 'she never thought it would happen it took ages.....' 3 months     knowing full well what we'd been through.

SarahC my gynaecologist swears by the fertility monitor he believes its the best bit of kit on the market at the moment, he said most use it as a form of contraception but its 'perfect' for tracking cycles.  Hope this helps.

Sarah 0604  , we have the same conversations often, how on earth do we cope with another childcare cost and general baby costs etc... then we have the 'others seem to manage' conversation.... arrrrgggghhh soooo confusing  

Marielou   not sure if your still reading... good luck with your natural FET

Sallywags are you still feeling torn hun?  Have you had your clairvoyant appointment yet?

I had my gynae appointment yesterday morning to discuss the severe bleeding/clot loss I had earlier in the month, ++ news is I have no new issues and my body is just abnormal therefore anything that happens with my lady bits is ‘normal’  …. – news is I didn’t ovulate this month when I really thought I had, my ovaries still have follicles on them, so there is at least some stimulating going on if not actually ovulating, another ++ when I took clomid last time I had to have follicle tracking which seemed like a waste of time to me, I had read of many a PCT that don’t offer it so thought about taking clomid when I was ready (I had two months left) whilst I am fighting with my GP to get referred, my gynae has said I can just get on with it when I’m ready and more than that, if I want too and am struggling with the referral I can get it privately from him – very excited by this prospect as I know what I’m doing with it, I know what to look out for etc… so perhaps later in the year we can ttc no.2 that’s if the acupuncturist can’t work her magic and allow me au natural of course!!  The dildocam doesn’t get any easier does it, I’ve had so many now but hate every bloody minute, although quite sad that I actually like looking at my insides on the scanning machine, I find it fascinating.  What also doesn’t get easier is the bloody doctors asking me to do a pregnancy test every time I get to CD30 (yesterday), LISTEN TO WHAT I’M SAYING I DON’T HAVE A CYCLE, THERE ARE FOLLICLES ON MY OVARIES WHICH MEANS I HAVEN’T OVULATED AND YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT…… ? 

Anyway rant over for me.... love and hugs to you all especially those i've missed from my personals.

Bev xx


----------



## surfgirl

Hi ladies,


Am new to this thread. Have a gorgeous DS 1 year old, vey very broody and so want to have another. FET planned for May but have tried BMS in the meantime...... that old hope thing rears its head every month until AF arrives right on schedule. What is the fertility monitor and is it available from Boots? I have been using ovulation kits which show LH surge.

Surfgirl


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Bev


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Bev       how fustrating for you hun. Here's hoping the acupuncture works its magic. I was thinking of restarting it too. I had it when we went through IVF last time. Thanks for asking about how I'm feeling. To be honest probably v much like you    I am having lots of peaks and troughs and am finding the infertility even harder this time around. 

Hi Surfgirl. Our optimism is amazing isn't it. I hope every month too. Not too sure about the fertility monitor. 

Hi Isobel. Glad you could join us! Good luck with the FET.

Jane any house news?

Hi to Sally, Marie, Rachel, Poll, Sarahc, Sarah1604, Fran hope your all ok.

We are now on the official test route. I have the usual bloods and scans looming and then if we can we are hoping to go through the IVF again later in the year. We have stopped so many times thinking we can't afford it but now I am thinking sod it and we will find the money somewhere!!!!

     to everyone of you lovely ladies.

Jacks x


----------



## sarahc

I am having a hard day   Have just spent the afternoon with a friend who is having baby number4 and I am so jelous I have never ever felt this way before and am really struggling with this horrible emotion. Hate myself for feeling this way.
Whenever the baby or pg is mentioned I just ignore it, a friend was with us and she obviously talked about it and I am hoping that my refusal too wasn't noticed   Makes me look like such a cow and I don't want to feel this way.
I was so close to her when she had number3 and went to visit the day she was born, this time I can't imagine going to see baby when it's born and am getting myself in a state over her babyshower next month. Even made an excuse as to why I might not make it because I just can't bear it and I feel like a pathetic whinging friend. Ticked muslins, and formula to buy - not even a nice present, think I'll buy my friend something too and not the baby. She even told me first about the baby which I was so honoured about   We also saw a lot more of each other but she returned to work as she discovered her pg so maybe I am being oversensitive because we haven't spent time together as our work days cross over? The friend we were with today works with her so they were talking about things I knew nothing about and maybe I just feel pushed out?

Analysing everything I said and she said today and hoping so badly that I haven't driven a wedge between our friendship because I can't control my feelings   can anyone think of a discreet way I can show her or tell her that I value and appreciate her friendship as much as before without letting on that I've had a problem, don't want her to know there is if she hasn't twigged. The problem is all mine and not hers at all, she has not in anyway done anything wrong.

So sorry this is such a silly me post and I haven't done personals feeling pretty low today and not a very nice friend  

Sarah x x


----------



## jrhh

Oh Sarah,

Please don't give yourself any further personal beatings hun. Your feelings are completely natural. I have felt that way with a close friend and its so hard. I eventually opened up to her and told her I was struggling with my infertility at the mo and to forgive me if I was a little withdrawn. She was great and so supportive. I even managed to make it to her baby shower, which also had 3 other pg women too. Granted I didn't stay long and had a bit of a cry when I left but knowing she understood made it a lot easier.

Like you say, jealousy is a horrid emotion and one none of us like but how can we stop feeling it when the one thing we crave is just out of reach. I think your idea of buying something personal for her is a lovely idea.

Take care and just be kind to yourself for a while till you feel stronger and able to address it.

     

Love

Jacks xx


----------



## Rachel

Sarah 

Huge hugs sweetheart     I hope you're feeling better today.

I know exactly what you mean. 1 of my cousins got pg a month after her wedding and I was green   Then her sister decided she wanted to start a family so tried and it happened almost straightaway. Again I was really upset. (why is it so easy for soem people?) Luckily they don't live close so I didn't have to see them. At the moment I am having trouble seeing or hearing of anyone that's pregnant. Some people would say 'you should be thankful as you have 2 lovely daughters' but they do not know the years of heartache and anguish we went through to get them and how difficult trying for more will be   When you have to plan things and know that they may not work it's really hard. 

Don't beat yourself up about it. If your friend is a true friend she will understand. Look after yourself  

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

Jacks - Good luck with all the tests hun. I do hope you can start later this year  

Surfgirl - Welcome to the thread  Had a quick look and found this fertility monitor for you

http://www.clearblueeasy.com/FertilityMonitor.cfm 
Haven't used one so am hoping someone who has will be able to help with their own personal experience.

Bev - Huge hugs to you  

Isobel - It does feel like a whole new world doesn't it!

Lots of love and hugs to everyone

Rachel xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## sarahc

Rachel and Jacks - thankyou so much. I felt better just writing it down and offloading to someone who can understand.

Don't think I will say anything to my friend unfortunately she's not the sort of person who would be understanding as lovely as a friend as she is I feel she will be more critical of me. So am going to make an extra special effort to talk aboy bump etc. Will attempt the babyshower and accept my feelings on the night as normal and arrange something nice for the next day with dh and the girls to pick me up.

Thanks guys love sarah x x


----------



## jrhh

Sarah well done you and offload anytime  

Rachel another of my friends announced her bfp on sat when we all met up for dinner. I was green too, its a horrid feeling isn't it. They then started discussing when to try for no2. I was quiet and they were as diplomatic as they could be as they know T was IVF. It still doesn't stop the heartache though does it.

Oh if only it was that easy hey.

Love to you all

Jacks xx


----------



## sallywags

Oh jacks, i'm really struggling at the mo trying to decide whether to try again or not - or if it is just money down the drain. 

It's so hard - my body is really hormonal at the moment too and keeps tricking me into feeling pg, which is horrible.  (i even had trapped wind the other day which felt absolutely exactly like a perfect little baby kick!)  I'm glad i don't have any pg tests in the house now as i would be doing them almost daily.  I know i'm not, but my body is taunting me!

My friend who had her little girl 5 days before Mollie is about 5 days off her due date of number 2 as well - i'm so pleased for her but can't help but wish it were me.


----------



## *Bev*

Hi Ladies

Sal, my body does exactly the same... taunts me no end.

 to all of you who need them, sorry no time for personals, loads of work on.

Lots of  positive news for me, i'll update you tomorrow when my boss is away!!

Bev xx


----------



## jrhh

Sally     I'm exactly the same. A day late and I start to get my hopes up. I can convince myself totally and then get heartache when af shows. I do it every month. Crazy hey. Its such a  hard decision whether to go with it or not isn't it. Money is huge issue for us but I am determined to give it anoither go, even if I'm paying it back for years. 

Bev ooooooh you can't do that to me, I want to know NOW      

xxxx


----------



## *Bev*

In brief, I cannot believe the difference acupuncture has made to my life, i've had 3 sessions and what a difference... AF has been controlled and bearable, no pain or clotting whatsoever, it was heavier on Saturday, Sunday morning but since has been very light... my quality of life has just improved no end... I so hope this is the start of things to come


----------



## jrhh

Bev         

Thats terrific

xx


----------



## *looby*

I know i've been a lurker since i started this thread   

But just wanted to say to Bev - That sounds fab - the happiness just shines out of your post 
Hope it makes a permanant change for you 

TBH i dont feel as if i can post on here as i have made some really good friends on FF and really woundnt want to upset 
anybody - That said - I am thinking of you all    

xxx


----------



## sarahc

that's great news bev x

Sally my body is the same and it's horrible   every month I think it could be. Made a new year resolution to myself not to buy a pg test untill at least two or three wk late but it's really difficult because I can't do my job when pregnant so the temptation is so strong - I flew in denial two and half yrs ago and had a m/c six days sfter discovering my pg, it has never been proved but they stop me doing my job for reason and I'll always wonder?


Had a lovely day - may phone my friend for chat later just generally ask how things are going

thanks again girls love sarah x x x


----------



## jrhh

Oh Ladies I am having a bad day today. Feel so flat and depressed about the my infertility. I got my af today and its a misery one and I am feeling sorry for myself. As per usual I was imagining a pg and convincing myself.   

I was watching T playing with my childminders little girl yesterday and he was having such good fun. Is it too much to ask for him to have a sibling to play with.

Sorry ladies for being such a grump.

Hope your all ok.

Sarah well done you, glad you had a great day  

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

Jacks - big hugs hun.


----------



## sarahc

Jacks   big hugs to you honey. I know it is so hard. Give yourself some TLC for the next few days x x


----------



## sarahc

Well just five mins ago I called my pg friend and invited her on a walk with her dog tommorrow but she is genuinly busy - tried to find a time though. Told her I felt really bad and guilty for not making enough time for her in the last few months and said it was ( and it's not a lie) difficult as our working days cross but as soon as she's on mat leave we must make more of effort. And she said def she is so busy at the mo with work and the 3 girls and I said I feel guilty and she said don't be so silly  . So feel great now, I start my 2 weeks at work on sat so the next time I have free to see her is her baby shower day and said I will be there and I will with a smile although hiding a heavy heart   she starts mat leave that week so going to arrange to make an effort and she said so too. Am going to get the baby bits I said I would plus some nice pj's for her and lovely body stuff for after.

Feel good that I haven't damaged one of the best friendships I have and now looking forward to baby x x x x


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

Sarah - So glad you're feeling better  

Bev -Glad the acupuncture is working for you   I had it for my hayfever one year and also when down regulating to ease symptoms. Found it fantastic  

Huge hugs for everyone. I've had a bad day too. We were talking about me coming off the pill and trying au natrel for a while. I'm not sure as I would like any siblings to be from the same embryos as Lucy and Emma. I would like for any siblings to have the same genes as the girls. 

For everyone   

Love to everyone 

Rachel xxx


----------



## sallywags

Had a big knock back today.  Just had some bloods done as we had thought we were going to go for tx again in may.  My FSH has come back as 14.3.  So gutted - it looks like our chances of having another baby are gone. 

I'm so sad - i don't know what to do.  There isn't really anything i can do, i suppose.  Just got to get on with my life and accept that it is just going to be Moo.


----------



## sarahc

Oh Sallywags I am so sorry big big hugs to you x x x


----------



## Rachel

Sallywags

Huge hugs sweetheart   There always seems to be so many hurdles in this IF world   Was that yyour first fsh test? Usually they do a few as it can fluctuate from month to month. Maybe ask them to do it again, you never know.

Take care hun

Love, Rachel xxxx


----------



## sallywags

I dont think there is any point doing any more bloods - the fact that it has come back at 14.3 is enough to show that my ovarian reserve, and egg quality, is poor.  My first fsh before we started tx was 12, and by the 3rd tx it had come down to 6 - but even with that i knew my eggs were poor quality, and if we had not succeeded on that try we would have had to go down the DE route.  I think i would have done that to start with (my sister was going to donate eggs -a nd still would) but now i have M i don't really feel that it is an option any more.

Just feeling really sad today - it is a good job i am in the office on my own as i know i am going to struggle today.


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Sallywags, you are not alone, we are all here with you.


----------



## sallywags

Aw thanks hun - rather have you lot than the guys i work with anyway!! 

It's things like that that make me come on here, you know!


----------



## CarrieAnnxx

Hi Sally wags

I lurk on here occasionally and just happend across your post re your FSH and just had to respond.

It must have been a big shock for you getting back your blood test results.  I had a similar thing happen to me and I just wanted to share with you how we coped etc - my FSH was 12.2 and the next month it was down to 8.5 (so there is definitely hope).  I am also a poor responder etc etc...I know you know FSH can flucutate.  But my consultant said that I had what is known as resistant ovary syndrome (in other words he thinks I ovulate fine on my own - I just don't respond to the stim drugs).  He did in fact monitor my cycle on the 12.2 reading and I ovulated fine on that with good womb lining etc.

Wondered if this may be a possibility for you.

We agreed no more ICSI as have had 4 fresh cycles since I had my DD 7 years ago.  I was at a complete loss - then I found this site and it has kept me sane!!!

I know donor eggs/sperm isn't for everyone and I didn't even know if it was for me - but my longing for a second child is so strong and I can't give up yet (if ever) and after a lot of tears/anger and frustrations it was six months or so before we even started to think of using a donor and another six months to finally make the decision to put our names on the sperm donation list and if that not successful will think about donor eggs too.

Just wanted you to know it does and can get better with time....and our feelings change as to what we can/cannot think we can do as regards treatment and completing our family.

Love and hugs to you and your family   

Love Carrie Annxx


----------



## sallywags

Thanks hun - my sister has offered her eggs, but i made the decision once i had mollie that it wasn't really an option any more. I am not sure if i will change my mind on that though....

I suppose i find it hard to think of the stress and financial implications of trying again with my own eggs, knowing that there are problems.  I'm not sure i want to go through it again. (god, never thought i would hear myself say that!)


----------



## CarrieAnnxx

I know what you mean about the financial side - it is tough - I would hate to think about the thousands of pounds we have spent and what we could have spent it on - but it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference to how we feel.

In the end we felt we were just flogging a dead horse (or my crap ovaries!!) after 4 icsis with very few eggs each time - and I never thought I could give up but I guess there just comes a time when enough is enough.  But a year on here we are again with a new plan of action.....investing so much into buying the donor sperm and paying each month for a shot at what should be the most natural thing in the world.  I know if I thought about it too much it would just eat me up.  Just so wanna get to that point where I can draw a line under it all.  Why is it all so bloomin hard!!


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Sally hunni      what is there to say.......  I have pm'd you. Like Jane says, we are all here with you so take care and give yourself some time before you make any decisions.


Carrie Ann I know what you mean. Its so hard isn't it. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Sarah well done you!!!! you did a hard thing and should be so proud of yourself  

Rachel what a hard decision re coming off the pill. Do you have some frozen embryo's then?

Hi to everyone else.

I'm still having a hard time. I sat in tears yesterday afternoon, just feel so frustrated. I have my fsh test tomorrow too and am dreading it. Guess I won't get the results for a while though.

Well       to you all.

Jacks xx


----------



## sarahc

I am so so upset and mad at myself today - my 'friend' who I called yesterday ( now bear in mind we moved towns because we wanted to be close to the two friends I was out with last Thurs and they are amy's godmothers) said she wasn't walking dog round lakes today and would see her soon blah blah. Well I'm out round the lakes and I bump into the two of them. They looked a bit shocked and my face I had to compose, she said she had called me to meet her if I still wanted as her plans had changed so as we walking in opposite directions I turned and walked back with them. Discovered they had been to play centre that morning so i told them I would've like to go and they said didn't know I was home etc and next time they go they'd call me sorry. So as she said she'd called I thought I'd check the phone and she hadn't. The last number is from my DH at work this morning at 8.25am

I am so upset that maybe I have driven a wedge between us but then DH says that is ridiculous they have been like it for a while (they went on holiday that we couldn't go on because was pg) and that it all goes back to that. and if they thought for just a sec then maybe they would understand my if issues and understand although I do feel that I never given her any reason to think I had a prob. I am so hurt and feel so used and lied too. I am not stupid and now know they must talk about me behind my back and knew they were having a day out - we always always went out together. I am so stupid to let this drag for the two years it has - they were things at xmas too that happened.

I am not point blank going to her baby shower - why should I put myself through that when she obviously has little regard for me? I am going to text her now and say 'did you call me at home earlier or mob because last number called is jamie this morning? hope phone isn't playing as well as car!' (my cars broke)

sorry no replies and all me but just so sad to be treated this way


----------



## jrhh

Sarah Oh my god how horrid for you. Especially after you overcame such a huge hurdle in preparing yourself for her baby shower. I just wanted to say that you are the bigger person in all this so just rise above it and do what you need to do. Life is too short to be treated like that so to be frank(I hope I don't offend you) sounds like your better off without her in your life.

    

Jacks x


----------



## sarahc

Thanks hun - i did text and reply said she'd called and it went to answer phone - and the 2nd time rang off, but if that was the case it would still have another number on it not dh from earlier. Spoke to an good ff friend on phone and feel better just going to lie low for a few weeks and make no contact. I may still make babyshower just show I am bigger and better and not give them any other reason to make me feel excluded. afetr that i feel yes i may be better off keeping a distance - thankyou you certainly did not offend

on a plus - think i am having natural ovulation!! Never had twinges/aches like this at this time of cycle apart from on clomid and a opk was positive!! Early night for us. x x x


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Sarah, sorry to see that someone does not have the courage to be honest with you.  You have enough going on without having to worry about 'friends' going behind your back and being unpleasant.  I agree with Jacks, you are probably better off without her in your life.  If you feel up to it, then going to the baby shower will definately show that you are a bigger person, and can rise above it.



Great news on the possible ovulation though! 



Jane
xx


----------



## jrhh

Hey ladies,

Have a great mummies day on Sunday.

Just wanted to share this with you, I got it from T today with cars all round it  

My mummy cuddles me
kisses me, hugs me, and misses me
pampers me, praises me, always
amazes me

Washes my clothes for me,
tickles my toes for me,
giggles and talks to me
and also goes on walks with me

Says "sweet dreams" to me
sings sweet songs to me
I am glad she belongs to me


xxxxx


----------



## Rachel

Jacks - That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing x

Sarah - Huge huge hugs sweetheart  

Happy Mothers Day to everyone  

Rachel xx


----------



## sarahc

Hi

Jacks that's lovely - you have a lovely day too. Unfortunately I have to work on Sunday but not till 3.30pm so all morning for cuddles with the girls.

Think I have def had natural ovulation! Got the twinges and aches like when I took clomid, a positive opk and loads of cm yesyerday!!! Not getting my hopes up for a miracle but just so pleased I have ovulated. It must have happened naturally in the past as had a BFP between girls but had m/c but this was such a strong one and never experienced that before without clomid - we did do some bms just incase though!!!

Back to my two weeks at work tom - starting with a real long day 15hrs in total, not too enthusiastic but will be ok once I'm there. Going to take a sleeping tab and a hot chocolate in an hour and get a good 11hrs or so.

Thankyou for all your kind words re my friend I am soooooo much calmer and rational and feel that some distance is good, if I hear nothing from her then I will make contact when I feel less vulnerable but never ever again will I be as close to her - unfortunately I feel that she has damaged our friendship, trust is important in all relationships and the trust in this one has gone. It was the lies upon lies that did it in the end not the exclusion - anyway not going round that again!

have lovely mothers days to all of you x x x x


----------



## 0604

Happy Mothers Day to you all,

AF arrived and was secretly wishing a bfp.
Found out a colleague at work is 9 weeks pregnant and an ex colleague 12 weeks and having twins. It feels like stabbing in my heart, although I know its irrational as i have my wonderful son. Did not realise the drive for another baby would be so strong!!!

SARAH 0604


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Just seeing how you are all doing...

Jacks xx


----------



## sallywags

Same as usual hun! 

feeling very hormonal today - very odd, only day 18. have dreadful backache too but think that's just my back, not hormones!

Still feeling a bit more positive since seeing my clairvoyant, but it's hard to hang in there sometimes!  I am waiting for the imminent news of my friends new baby - her due date was on Tuesday, so it will be any minute. her first bubs is 5 days younger than Moo.  Obviously very happy for her... but ho hum...

How's you?


----------



## jrhh

Sally,  Its so hard isn't it seeing newborns. I'm seeing my friends little boy next weekend and I know its going to be hard. Glad your a little more optimistic hun. I'm OK thanks, still yearning. I got my bloods back yesterday and they are all normal. YIPPEE!!!!!!

Have a good weekend ladies

xxxxxx


----------



## Rachel

Jacks 

Great news on your bloods hun  

Rachel x


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Oh Jacks I'm pleased to see your results were all normal.  Great news.



Did anyone watch Pramface Babies last night?    I was so saddened by the stories, even the couple who were happily together with a child already were not planning the pregnancy, she was on the pill.  The other girls all got pg very quickly within meeting their partners, one of which was AWOL at the birth because they had fallen out.  Another girl thought she was covered because she had previously been on the pill, not a week ago, or even a month ago, but a year and a half ago!  Two of the expectant mothers who had been on the ward for some time with complications were sneaking outside for a cig!!  

Of course all the babies were gorgeous, and it just brought me right back to how I used to feel before Marcus, on the unfairness of a world that allows people to pop out unplanned babies year in year out, while we are desperately waiting for our BFPs. 

 To you all.

Jane
xx


----------



## jrhh

Thanks Rachel and Jane.

Oh Jane I couldn;t bring myself to watch it as I would have had my heart broken. I get so angry when I see mums dragging their children about swearing etc and its just so unjust.          to you hun.

I am going to see my friends baby tomorrow. Ouch.

Much love to all.

Jacks xx


----------



## faraday

Hello ladies ... can I join the thread?

We're trying naturally at the moment, tbh I've had a really hard time with the monthly (9 cycles now) disappointment & was ready to go on the pill last week   but we have no money for treatment & dh persuaded me to keep on trying. I've just started charting and am apparently 7dpo today (got a temperature shift & positive OPK), we timed BMS well & I was feeling okay until a lovely friend (she's wonderful & sensitive & it was a complete slip of the tongue) mentioned that she's never taken more than 2 cycles to get pregnant (she's in her late 30s & pregnant with number 5) & the thought of trying for more than 3 was horrifying. We've been trying for most of 10 years. Then I read that you can have all the signs of ovulation & not ovulate anyway so now I feel like crap again.

Sorry to barge in and offload, I'm close to losing what little sanity I have left.

Is anyone else in the position of not being able to consider treatment at the moment? We're hoping to arrange a SA fro dh in the next month or so but his GP is horrible so I think we're going to have to go private again.


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Hi Faraday - If your GP is horrible, why not change GPs?  There are threads for TTC naturally while waiting for tx, they might know more about your situation.

Jane
xxx


----------



## faraday

Unfortunately we're in a town with a GP shortage, none of the others in our catchment area are taking on patients.

Thanks, I'll try another thread then.

G/L to you all.


----------



## pollttc

Hi Faraday
This is a thread for those of us who can't afford or aren't going through treatment yet for whatever reason. There is the 'Hoping for a Miracle' thread for those actively seeking treatment/tests etc - Looby started this one after having to 'virtually' sit through my rant on just that subject - ie can't afford treatment, desperate for another etc.
However, if you're going for number one - there may be threads better suited - you haven't done a profile so not sure if you have any little ones - if you do then this could be the home for you.

I'm mid AF - not surprised this month though - though why I ever would be is beyond me!
Take care Ladies

Poll


----------



## FEW

Hi girls 

not written for a while as generally been feeling ok and been content to just keep trying aux natural but things caught me off guard the past few weeks and it is just bugging me!!!!!!!!!

sorry rant coming 

I know we are blessed to have our daughter but just because you have one child doesn't mean that we can just have another and all of the fertility issues have just disappeared, WHY are some people so ignorant ( even family) my not so diplomatic sil announced she was pg the other day after spending the last 2 years saying she was having no more ( DD are 7 and 9 ) now I have no problem with people expanding their families but she backed it up with of course you'll have to have another now ( as if I had been waiting and I just need to click my fingers!!) adding to this my best friend is pg with her first which I don't have any issue with as she so deserves it but it does just remind me of what it is we want too.

so feeling a bit cr*p about it all we have been trying for 20 months now and not even a sniff, dh has decided he really could not bear any more tests or being poked around so if it doesn;t happen naturally thats it. which does kind of suck. 6 months ago he was happy to perhaps getting help again but know when the time came to actually doing something he chickens out so not sure whats next but in the mean time I just want a bump again and for T to have a brother or sister

sorry to just come in and rant but needed to get it off my chest without blowing at friends and family

Fran


----------



## 0604

Fran
Know where you are coming from. Two teachers at work pregnant and I am buying the first ones leaving presents -  so that brings it all back. Second one due a scan today. PLus Head teacher said I best not have one !!!!!!!!!!! How dare she!!!!!So want to now....
Plus BF has a dd of 8 weeks and keeps tellinm me how blessed she is. I know that and am pleased for her but she never did the trying bit.

Sarah


----------



## birthbaby

hiya ladies

just popping in to see how u are all doing 
so many familiar names  hope u all get your wish 



take care love nikki xxxx


----------



## Rachel

Apologies if I bore anyone and for the me post   I need to get down how I am feeling.

Having terrible day today. Can't seem to stop crying   Feels like everything is going round in my head so fast it will never stop. My parents separated last Oct after 35 years and things are still very difficult and stressful. Without goign into major detail, we are a very close family and it changed everyones lives forever due to what actually happened. I worry constantly about my dad. He seems to cope on the surface but I know he's not inside and am worried it will make him really ill. My mom keeps messing him around which is not helping things. I worry about my nan too as she's nearly 88 and it's just too much stress at her age. My mom is here at the moment trying to mend bridges with me and my siblings but to be honest none of us are very interested in doing it as she's just going to go again in a couple of weeks and we cannot condone what she did. Oh, what a mess.

On the pill front, I stopped taking them 2 weeks ago as they were making me feel c**p. Af's were lasting 2-3 weeks and were horrible   They seem much worse since I had the girls anyway but lately evern worse. I have just been to see the nurse at my surgery. She's so lovely and very easy to talk to about anything. I told her I was undecided whether to not take a pill at all. I am terrified of miscarrying again. We do have 6 frosties but ages ago the same nurse said should you really go for a transfer when you haven't tried naturally? Not sure if she knew we had de then but we talked about it today. I came away from the doctors in tears. I saw my 2 bil's and sil's in the village on the way back but had to wave and drive as I didn't really want them all to see me crying. I am very close to one of my sil's but would have felt happier talking to her on my own. Also, didn't want to spoil the Easter bonnet parade they were waiting for   I have now got some combined pills again as I know I need to be on them should we have a transfer but do I take them? I wish I had a crystal ball to tell me the right answers and see into the future   Why do some people just keep popping babies out that they don't really want when people like us have to try and try and have loads of heartache and plan having a baby etc. It's so frustrating. I am also 40 later this year which is niggling away at me! My lovely dh, bless him, keeps saying that people have babies in their 50's and 60's but I don't want to be one of those people. I wish I was 29 not 39!  

I thank god every day for Lucy and Emma. Maybe my family is complete. I don't know. 

Sorry, I've waffled. Told you my head was in a spin. I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything right now. 

Rachel x


----------



## sallywags

Can't say anything to help, hun, just wanted to come and give you a hug.


----------



## JaneNewcastle

From me too Rachel.

Sometimes just writing it down helps, I know when I've had a poopy day or two that's been beneficial to me.  That and the fact that I know someone on here will read and know EXACTLY what I am going through and have true empathy, not false sympathy.

Jane
xx


----------



## *Bev*

Oh Rachel your post really touched a nerve honey, I wish I had the crystal ball we all so need right now... I don't have any words of wisdom apart from if I were you I would not take the pill but its easy for me to say.  I had one of the days you are experiencing right now a few weeks ago and I swear I thought I was cracking up, since coming off all hormone products (i've been on them for the best part of 11 years) I feel much more rationale, grounded and less teary... this may help you too to have a few months off them.  I can't comment on your miscarriage concerns, thank god its one of the things i've not had to experience.... is there someone medically that you can talk too about your fears.

I'm sorry I can't really offer anymore than that...  

Bev xx


----------



## FEW

Rachel

I am sorry you are having such a tough time why does it never rain but always pour   my thoughts are with you and I will say a prayer that your tough times find some resolution. and in the meantime a cyber hug is coming your way  

still also feeling pants here too and to top it all we have all had the most horrific tummy bug and all been ill for four day mine has eased but poor dh is still reallly suffering have to laugh though ran out of bog roll at a rather crucial time     so if any of you fancy a giggle imagine the fight to work out who could last the longest to get to the shop at the end of the road!!!!!!! 

Fran


----------



## jrhh

Oh Ladies,

I just wanted to give you all a HUGE    

We went to see my friends baby at the weekend which was so lovely but so very hard. The longing is so very real.

Faraday your more than welcome hun x

Fran         that really cheered me up (sorry!!)

Take care.

Lots of love

Jacks xxx


----------



## Rachel

Thank you ladies for all of your kind words   Feeling a little brighter this morning and the sun is shining   I love it when the sun is shining and the sky is blue. Much nicer than dull, grey and wet!   I am going to do plently today to try and keep my head occupied with something different. The garden is beckoning and we have a music class this morning which the girls love. 

Fran - Poor you! I hope you're all feeling better now   You will have shares in Andrex at this rate  

Love to everyone. Enjoy the sunshine.

Rachel xxx


----------



## FEW

hi all

well after the first round of tummy bug I thought I had kicked it then low and behold it went and came back and spent another whole night haning over the loo!! had plenty of loo roll this time and dh was home to look after me.

finally beginning to feel better but have lost 3/4 of a stone in a week !!! I needed to lose some but this was a little drastic   but at least an excuse to have lots of easter eggs

Rachel how are you feeling now? 

Jacks glad my mis fortune made you laugh I have such a warped sense of humour even I found it funny

tricky weekend ahead as will be seeing sil who has just found out she is pg for the first time and not sure how much cheer I will be able to muster up also means spending weekend at MIL which is always a toughy too if you know what I mean!  

anyway I am sure I will cope but just wish it was me who was sharing good news  

right off to make breaky

Fran


----------



## sarahc

Hi girls been a bit awol this month. I think I had natural ovulation and we decided to have a few early nights see what would happen and it didn't - got my af the day of my gall bladder surgery.

Op went well taking me a lot longer than I expected to recover but am slowly getting there. Mum has been here helping and just gone this morning so now dh off for 4 days then my sis is arriving on tues to help out. 

sorry no personals will pop back later and read how everyone is x x x x x


----------



## sarahc

Hi

I have just got back from the friends baby shower I was telling you about, and it was nice. Bought a change mat and some milk and decided not to do my friend stuff after way I felt I was treated, however things have changed and if they continue too I shall it for baby's arrival and give it to my friend when i go to see baby which I feel good about now.
We put hannah in a bed today and got rid of all cot and changing table - have decided to put them up for sale and if a miracle ever happens we'll just buy 2nd hand or borrow. feels sad her baby days are over and it may never ever happen again in this house. But on a major plus side we are so happy in our family and I feel maybe someof the broodiness is starting to go and i am appreciating us all having our own rooms, being financially ok, going out now we have got rid of a buggy nearly etc don't know, just feel a little less broody and more positive and content with life. maybe it will change?

back early because still sore and very tired from op - so about to have a yummy hot choc and off to bed.

hope evryone else ok x x x


----------



## *Bev*

How are you doing Broodies?!

I encountered two tiny babies over the weekend   both screaming there heads off and completely unsettleable by there parents which made the experience a tad easier... but still  

DH got a little broody both times and indulged me in the... I can't remember A that small and, can you remember when... chat.

He is still being useless with the contraception, which on one hand i'm annoyed about   (because I feel like i'm being taunted by IF again) and if we did by some miracle get pg he'd go mad as its just not financially viable right now (although we'd cope i'm sure!!)

Thanks for listening ladies, I helps to get it off my chest... I was exactly the same this time last month, being so close to AF being due I suppose...

Thanks

Bev xx

...and my BIL and SIL dropped into conversation about a car   well we need to decide if we are or not having another cos if we don't get one in the oven in the next couple of months we won't bother.... arrrgggh if only it were that easy i'm sure I wouldn't be so screwed up about ttc no.2.  this comes from the man who says he has super sperm so they won't have any problems... oooh to be so niaive.


----------



## sallywags

Thought this would be a good place to come and 

Had a text this morning from my friend - she had her second baby this morning at 2.30, at home in her bath.  I'm so happy for her, but ended up going down to the loos at work and sobbing my heart out.  It's the second announcement from good friends in 3 weeks.

I can't wait to meet him and i know he'll be gorgeous, and my other friends little one is beautiful too - but i don't really need to explain why i went and blubbed.

thanks girls - thought this would be the best place to come.


----------



## Rachel

Huge hugs Sallywags   Can understand exactly why you had to go and have a good cry  

Take care

Love, Rachel xxx


----------



## sallywags

Thanks, Rachel - it didn't help that she had the birth that i wanted, at home.  I had a birth pool, got private lessons from a midwife and ended up being induced, epidural, forceps etc, so it just made it worse i suppose!

Not that i would change anything, because Mollie is perfect!


----------



## sarahc

sallywags big hugs to you honey x x x x x


----------



## 0604

Sallywags

Hugs     

SARAH 0604


----------



## Marielou

Sally     Know I'm going to be the same when my friend has her baby in a few weeks,

Marie xxx


----------



## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Just a quick one as I haven't had time to read back yet.

Sorry I have been AWOL. We have just been away for a week in London. Kinda only decided recently but both really needed a break. We all had a fab time and T was so great and really enjoyed himself.

We met up with lots of old friends, held some dinner parties and even managed to sit and have a bottle of wine out one eve whilst T obliged by sleeping in the pram    

We also had some good news. Dh has been offered some extra work part time which means we should be able to get together the money for round two of IVF.     

Hi to everyone and welcome Sades.

Will catch up soon.

  

Jacks xx


----------



## Rachel

Hi everyone

Jacks - That's good news that you will be able to have another IVF hun   Glad you had a lovely time in London. We lov eit but have only been a couple of times and then only for a day or 2. Every time we go there's so much we want to see but we have to leave some things for next time!

Sally - Hope you're feeling better today hun  

Sades - IF is all swings, roundabouts and rollercoasters isn't it   So many people I know have just popped out baby after baby without a thought. It's so frustrating  

We have come to a decision about where to go next. As I said, I am 40 in October and feel time is running out. We were thinking of doing an FET in October when we go to Marbella on holiday for my birthday but have decided to have it earlier in July now and then if that doesn't work we can have another in October possibly. 

Lots of love to everyone 

Rachel xx


----------



## jrhh

Rachel thats great news hun!!!

Sal hope your feeling a little better xx

Bev men hey!  I always get a bit emotional around af time too. Its so hard hey. Thanks for reminding us of the screaming, its good to have a reality check.     saying that though I wouldn't mind  

Sarah, how are you feeling now?  hope you are not sore. Well done on going to the baby shower.

Fran hope you have recovered now  

Hi to everyone else.

I got a letter from the doc's about one of my test results so I have to call back tomorrow and speak to her. I am dreading it now and have convinced myself we wont be able to have IVF as something is wrong. 


Jacks x


----------



## FEW

Hiya

well now recovered from the week long sicky bug ( Thank god) it really was the worst one I have ever had.
poor Dh has man flu though!!! 

weekend over easter with MIL and Sil was alright. Sil was really good and said I know things still are not easy for us and she was sorry if her news was tough. it was really nice of her to acknowledge this as it just made me feel ok about it. MIL was hard work but she always is   

Just had a weekend in new york ( work related ) and it was so nice to have some time out and just have a bit of space to myself. shopped rested and just got a bit of persective which is just what I needed.

Jack's try not to worry I am sure it is all fine and the iVF will happen

Rachel sounds like you are moving forward too which is great news

Sades sounds like your in the right place we are all a bit in limbo one way or the other so just here for each other

right hi to everyone else and    to anyone having a tough week.

planning to see a friends twins on fri she also struggled for 6 years with IF and I for once am looking forward to holding another miracle

ohh and going skiing this weekend so bit excited should be OV while away so you never know PMA and all

bye for now

Fran


----------



## sallywags

Jacks - when will you find out about your results?  come and let us know, won't you?


----------



## jrhh

Hi Sally,
I am speaking to the doc hopefully this morn so will try and post later hun. I am working late though.

Fran glad you're better and have a great hol. Good luck  

xxxx


----------



## jrhh

Hi,

Just an update from yesterday. Everything is ok. Phew. I just had slight increase in cells but nothing to worry about.

Panic over.

Hope everyone is OK.

Sorry to cut this short but I have lots of washing to get through, oh the joy....

xxxx


----------



## Rachel

That's good news Jacks   

Could you come over here please?! I have tonnes of ironing!  

Love, Rachel xx


----------



## *Bev*

Superb news Jacks


----------



## jrhh

Thanks Bev and Rachel.

Rachel     sorry I love washing but ironing         


xxxxxx


----------



## jrhh

Hello Ladies are you all ok?

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

Not too bad - feeling a bit flat what with all the house sale stuff, but starting to get more optimistic about having treatment later in the year.

Have just started AF after taking Agnus Castus for less than 3 weeks, and have managed to go to 26 days already this month, from 24-25, so really hoping it will help regulate me a bit better over the next couple of months. I'm a bit hit and miss with it too, so if i took it properly it might work even better!  I'm trying to eat a bit better and take all my vitamins etc to try to get my fsh down too.  We go on holiday on saturday for a week, so after that i will work on my alcohol (and dh's !) intake!!

I'm trying to keep positive about it - am so hoping we can get fsh low enough to start around july or august - do you reckon 3 months will be enough?

Hows you anyway?


----------



## *Bev*

Just dropping in to send you both


----------



## jrhh

Hi Bev      

Sally good for you. So sorry about the house. Have a great hol. Whats A Castus?  Sorry I am unsure about the time for your fsh but 3 months sounds good. Maybe you could check with your GP. Do you have a date in mind to start?  Dh has already been under strict instructions and now hardly drinks much at all just the odd beer at weekend which he has to stop near treatment time.We are taking all out vits too. I feel quite good about things at the mo and feel quite on top of the sadness I had recently. Whilst I want another baby more than anything I am trying to focus on Tom and enjoy the great times we have together which has helped heaps.

    to everyone.

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

Jacks - yes i think around 3-4 months from now, sometime in the summer.  Unfortunatley both dh and i are partial to the odd beer or 4 - it is the one thing we struggle to rein in when we do treatment!  dh is also rubbish at remembering his vits...

however, i know he will do it if i ask him - it seems pointless not to make an effort for what is in effect a fairly short space of time.  unfortunately, dh goes on quite a few social events with work and if he wasn't 'allowed' to drink, he wouldn't go and then would grump about it.  He can't do one or two and then stop either.  it is probably our biggest bone of contention!!  Mind you i'm not much better - getting out of the habit of a few drinks is very hard for us!!  MUST TRY HARDER!!!


Agnus Castus is a herb to help regulate cycles and hopefully help with fsh etc... i bought it for last cycle but didn't use it.  This time though i'm hoping it will help.

Looking forward to our holiday but also dreading the flihgts - we have all got to get to the airport (me, dh, SS, and M, as well as my sister's family of 5!) by about 4.30am on saturday - omg it's going to be hideous!


----------



## kitten1

Hello all!! 

Mind if I join you all??

I know that my LO is only (just!!) 4mths old but I am DESPERATE to have another NOW!!

I'm having days at the mo where my head is wedged firmly up my  and I don't really know why!!   

I love C with all my heart and I will be eternally grateful for what I have but I so want to be preggy again. I still haven't fully recovered from my last preggy (spd and big tear) so ttc#2 is not an option just yet. Just feels so alien to me to be taking the pill and actively   trying to prevent a preggy. (That's when I remember to take it!!) The only thing is, if I know I've missed a pill and then had some  then I'm back to the ole knicker watch!! Why do we do this to ourselves?!?!?!

Ok, right about now, you are all probably thinking I'm mad as I've only just reclaimed my nights back! (Sitting up on my own, waiting to give C his 11pm feed mind...) but it just feels like the right time IYKWIM. But, DH won't hear of it.   

Maybe I'm just sitting here brooding over things too much......

Anyhoo, hope you don't mind me joining you all!! There isn't really anywhere else I can post all this and I don't want to upset anyone ttc#1.

Lots of love n huggles,

Mandy xx


----------



## jrhh

Hi Mandy and welcome aboard. We all understand how you feel so take care. You have got your nights back so early wow I am sooo jealous!!!! Love the photo, what a cutie.

Sally        how early eeeek!!!! have a good time hun, relax and enjoy.

Hi to everyone else your all quiet hope your all ok.

Jacks x


----------



## kitten1

Hiya ladies!!

I seem to have killed the thread!!    Sorry!!  

I think I must've been hormonal as AF was due when I posted that maudlin rant. Thanks Jacks xxx 

Now AF is here, I'm feeling a bit more philosophical about it all. Saw my lovely mw when I took C to be weighed yesterday. Have to send my spd belt back and ask the gp for a referral to physio to get the spd sorted. That has to be a priority before I even consider ttc#2 as I run the risk of not being able to look after C if I got preggy again!!

Hope everyone is ok?? Big     to everyone!!


----------



## jrhh

Hi Mandy,oh bless,  course you didn't kill the thread   I am glad you are feeling a little more positive. I think it comes I waves. I have given myself a serious kick up the   and feel a lot better. I am even saying that with af too! I hope you get the SPD sorted. How did C go at the weigh in?

Hi to everyone else hope you are all ok, you all really are v quiet  

Jacks x


----------



## kitten1

C is a VERY big boy!!    He weighs 21lb 14oz!!    Probably why my spd is still bad!!


----------



## pollttc

21lbs!! Wow and wow!

D is almost exactly two and a half and is just 26lbs!

Ooops sorry - not about broodying!

Poll


----------



## jrhh

Poll its nice to talk about something else!!!!!

Mandy    21lbs WOW!!!

xxx


----------



## Marielou

Sorry lurking to stalk on some friends   - but 21lbs?!!!  Ethan is 18 month and 18lbs   - hoooowww cute and munchable must Charlie be?!  Adorable!

Marie xxx


----------



## *Bev*

Ohhh Mandy Charlie sounds adorable.... Alex was a big boy but slowed down loads now he's walking he's 24lbs and has been since he was a year old...

Love and hugs to you all...

Bev xx


----------



## kitten1

I hope C slows down too or I'll be bankrupt!!   

Thanks everyone!!


----------



## jrhh

Kitten         

xx


----------



## sarahc

Hi girls

thought I'd say hello - I've popped over to the another miracle board for this month as we are taking the clomid strip! So once this is taken it really is all over for ttc and I will have to find some way of dealing with my broodiness which will prob coming on here for cry or whatever I'm feeling.

We def won't take any more clomid so fingers crossed this month it works and if not cherish my fab dh and beautiful girls, maybe in time the longing will subside?

Oh well full of clomid so hormonal to say the least lol

hope everyone well - be back in a month x x x x x


----------



## jrhh

Sarahc            good luck hun!!!!


Jacks xx


----------



## Dee

*Cash prizes on offer .... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=135195.0*


----------



## *Jenny*

all, 

I am a bit embarassed posting here as my baby is still very young.  My little boy is prefect in everyway and i love him more then i ever expected too but i would love another.   I know its too soon so hence my post on here. My little boy is doing so well already sleeping through the night, holding his head up and nearly sitting.   The last pregnancy went very well expect my stressing all the time and the birth was prefect so ttc again is possible ( no tears or stitches amazing as he was 9lb 10oz   ) I would love for my children to be close together so they grow up together and only ever wanted two ( will be happy with one if that is all i am blessed with   ) There is a possibilty that i will fall naturally ( long story, my fertility is fine dh had chemo for cancer but count is slowly returning but they dont know to what extent yet. ) I just dont know if i should take the pill just in case or just let nature takes it course.   I am scared in case it dont happen as i will never have tx again ( discision both me and dh have made) but i am scared of it happening due to the baby i lost before my little boy. I am worried what people will say  Does this sound normmal to anyone or am i just ranting non sense?

Jenny


----------



## Charlies-Mum

Just gatecrashing (sorry) to say  Jenny - You've put into words what I've been feeling. We've decided to go for it and see what happens...  I'm sure you and DH will make the right decision for you 

Deb


----------



## jrhh

Jenny don't worry about what people think. Just do whats important to you and dh and your family. I would go with your gut instinct hun and if its what you want then go for it.  

Hi Ladies hope your all ok. 

Feeling a little sorry for myself this month. I was so positive last month too. Heyho


Jacks xx


----------



## sallywags

Aw mate - big hugs.  i go up and down too. (and not just at the theme park!!!  )


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Aw Jacks, I think we all have those ups and downs.

Over one period last year I went through 10 pee sticks in about four months, because I was convinced it could happen naturally.  These days I'm starting to believe that Marcus will be an only one, although you know how the saying goes, never say never.





Jane
xxx


----------



## sallywags

Jane - i know what you mean, i have had to stop buying ebay pee sticks - they are so cheap i used to have loads around.  i have to realise that it's not going to happen and stop putting myself through the torture every month! (virtually impossible to stop counting what day of the month it is though...)


----------



## JaneNewcastle

sallywags said:


> Jane - i know what you mean, i have had to stop buying ebay pee sticks - they are so cheap i used to have loads around. i have to realise that it's not going to happen and stop putting myself through the torture every month! (virtually impossible to stop counting what day of the month it is though...)


LOL I know what you mean, since I lost a tube my cycles have been erratic, some longer, some short. So now I don't know exactly when to expect AF to arrive. Of course you can't help getting your hopes up from the expected day of the shortest cycle!

I too have stopped buying from eBay. But last month I used two Clearblue!! 

Jane
xx


----------



## jrhh

Mmmmm yep ladies gulity of the pee sticks too      

I am so confused. I need to stop b/f Tom to start IVF in the summer but I adore feeding him and he is showing no signs of stopping. Oh why does this have to be so hard. If I do stop and don't get lucky then I will never get the chance to feed again. Its rubbish!

Right sorry moan over. 

Sal     about the theme park!

Jane like you say never say never hey!

Right optimism back. 
Hi to everyone!

Jacks xx


----------



## sallywags

Hmm - seem to be getting desperate to start tx again... but can't as i need to bring fsh down first.  also dh needs to get booked in for next SA.

I just want to be doing it - god, i even want to be doing injections and getting on 2WW!!  Am i mad?!

If i get fsh down far enough, i hope we will be starting sometime around august/september now.

it's just so frustrating!!!


----------



## jrhh

Sal exciting though hey   

xxxxx


----------



## kitten1

We've just had the news of the first  on the Autumn thread.


----------



## sallywags

jacks - it would be if i knew when and if it was going to happen!  i just want to be a bit closer to that now....

watch this space!


----------



## jrhh

I know what you mean. Has the Ang Cat made any difference?

Hi to everyone else. How is everyone?

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

I'm waiting to see what difference it makes this month - my cycle was a bout 1/2 a day longer last month, so i'm really hoping that i will be back to a 27 day cycle this month - i did go as low as 24 days.  i would be happy with 27, although obviously 28 would be better.  I'm day 23 today so hoping to have a clear weekend!

I do get some pain over my ovaries though - particularly if i am laying flat and then cough!  Any ideas?!  it can be very sharp on occasion...

Big hugs about T and the breast feeding hun...


----------



## jrhh

Hi Sal Thanks for the hugs. I fed him from a cup this morn and he didn't bat and eyelid about feeding from me so it looks like our time of feeding is over. Will see what he does tonight     

Are you getting ov pain? I get pain over my ovaries quite a lot through the month and its even worse around ov time.

Fingers crossed with your cycle.

Love to all

Jacks x


----------



## sallywags

aw mate.. but at least he is doing it at HIS pace - and maybe  just maybe he is starting to want a sibling too and knows now is the time to let your body get back to normal so you can start again...   At least you will know that you did it for as long as he wanted, and let's face it 18 months is a long time in anyone's book! 

I think the ovary pain is worse mind month, but i get really bad shooting pains if i roll over in bed or cough, and it doesn't seem to make a difference what time of the month it is.  I'm a bit concerned i might have adhesions from all the ET's?  I suppose i will find out if we try again...


----------



## sallywags

Well morning all - me again! 

I thought i would let you know that i have made a little progress - i hope it's alright posting this here, but i'm not really sure where else to put it!  It doesn't feel appropriate on the birth thread, and it's not significant enough to need it's own thread!!

However, on my 2nd full month of agnus castus, my cycle has gone from 24/26 days to 27!!  AF started properly this morning (although had a little spotting over the last few days), so that is 27 days!  chuffed to bits, as that feels pretty normal rather than 26 or less which seems far too short.

So I am just hoping that it translates into a reduction in my fsh too then i will be able to start getting my hopes up again about more treatment.....

fingers crossed!

me and dh are going to try to cut down our alcohol too and i'm going to try again to get him on the vits (he never remembers - he's rubbish!!) to really do everything we can.

thanks for letting me tell you ladies - i know it's not the most exciting thing in the world!


----------



## *Bev*

Sal i'm chuffed to bits for you hun, I really hope this improvement reflects in your FSH

Love and hugs to you all.... i'm not around as I don't want to be insenstive but I am thinking of you all.

Bev xx


----------



## sallywags

Thanks hun - and you wouldnt be being insensitive - you know how we feel and we are chuffed to bits for you!


----------



## JaneNewcastle

Sally - glad you got the results you were hoping for.  Btw, isn't it about time you got a new birthday ticker?  


I've been wondering for some time about posting here, because I suppose technically I am ttc naturally while working towards tx, as in unprotected BMS occasionally.

Hope you don't mind me being here.

Jane
xx


----------



## sallywags

Of course we don't mind hun.

Yes, you're right about the ticker - i've been meaning to do it, but just haven't got round to it!!  it's only 6m out of date now!!!


----------



## sarahc

Sally - that's fab news
Jane - love the new piccy of marcus

x x x x


----------



## sallywags

Aw thanks - it's only a little bit of news really, but it pleased me! 

And dh sent me a text last night to say that he had put his vitamin pill in his cereal bowl last night so he remembered to take it this mornign.  bless him. (he lives away during the week)


----------



## jrhh

hi All,

Bev and Jane pleas post here anytime.

Sally yippee GREAT news hun. Bless dh!!!

Having a bit of a bad month and feeling quite down. Af due so thats prob why.

Hope everyone is ok.

Jacks xx


----------



## Neeta

Hello Ladies

I'm not sure if this is the right place for me to post or not  . If its not then please feel free to tell me to b**ger off   or just point me to a place better suited.

E is now coming up to 20 months old and I've been broody almost since he was born  , but knew that we wanted to wait 'a while' before attempting ttc no.2. Have been taking the pill (although pretty sure that it wouldn't have happened naturally, we tried 5 years before going for IVF and being blessed with E), but more to help with my awful periods. We have now decided that we'd like to 'actively' TTC no.2 as soon as I've finished my current supply of pills (which is end of this month).

We've decided to ttc naturally for a while (not really sure how long but will decide that as we go along) if it doesn't happen naturally then we have 5 frosties from E's cycle so we have the option of FER/FET.

I am just so scared that its not going to happen.The ache for another baby is very strong, i naively thought it wouldn't be as strong once I'd had 1 child  . I love my son so much, he is my world and i know that i am truly blessed to have had him and if number 2 doesn't happen for us then we'll deal with that but will always be so very, very thankful for E. 

Again ladies, if I'm posting in the wrong place then just say.

Neeta


----------



## sallywags

Sounds like you are in the right place hun!

come and chat with us!


----------



## Neeta

Thanks Sally. Mollie looks so grown up in her pic.


----------



## sallywags

I know - where does the time go?!


----------



## jrhh

Hi Neeta,

Your more than welcome to join us all. The more the merrier  

It really is so hard and the urge is so strong your right. I feel so blessed to have T but so frustrated at my inability to conceive naturally.

Jacks xx


----------



## Neeta

Jacks -


----------



## starfish3

Hi All

Can I joint this chat? So lucky to  have finally got my baby at age 45 - Jaxson born Valentines Day 2008. So he's just 12 weeks old...... have 6 frozen embryos ...would like Jaxson to have a sibling, especially cos we are older our friends dont have littlies for him to grow up with.... but have felt an overwhelming urge to have another baby from the day Jaxson was born...seems nuts but I was so stressed during with my pregnancy following previous m/c, I hardly enjoyed it most of the time and it didnt seem real. Never really though I would end up with a real live and beautiful baby.


Daring now to hope for another and have persuaded DP to try ASAP. Think we have to wait 6 months after caesarian. But need to get on with it due to age, money, career etc. Now DP has said yes, suddenly back remembering all those stresses of 2ww, bleeding in first trimester etc. Still what doesnt kill you makes you stronger huh?

Regards
Sharyn, New Zealand


----------



## jrhh

Hi Sharyn and welcome!  good luck trying for no2 hun and feel free to chat with us anytime.

Well ladies I am back with baby envy. Why is it you always see lots of newborns the day you af arrives. I seriously could have cried on Sat.

Heyho just feeling sorry for myself again at the moment.

Hope you are all good. The weather is just fantastic hey. We spent the day on the beach yesterday. T was so funny and loved all the space, it was a joy to watch him having so much fun.

Jacks x


----------



## FLH

Hello everyone

I have been lurking around this thread for weeks and I have finally decided to post! I have an 18 month old son who arrived after four stressful years of ttc and three icsi treatments. He is totally lovely and I love being a mummy. I have felt broody since he was born but mostly I have just been able to enjoy having him and being a mum at last. I think it has helped that none of my baby friends have started trying to concieve their second children yet. I am sure that is going to be a bit tricky.

So, DP and I have started talking about if we are going to have any more treatment. I would love another baby and a sibling for my boy but I am really scared about starting all the madness again. Those four years were the saddest of my life and I never want to feel that way again. I have been so content and happy for the last few years and I wonder if that would last. As soon as I start thinking about the disappointment of the BFN's I get really worried and stressed. Part of me wonders if it would be better to just decide 'no more treatment' while I am feeling so happy with what I already have. I am sure it would be harder to make that decision if we tried and failed a few times. 

If I am honest I will probably be brave and try again despite all the worries! We are thinking of having a go by the end of the year, so I will probably stick around here for a while if that's ok with you all.

Sally - I have read your posts about high FSH. My FSH was 6 before my first ICSI and rose to 10.2 after my second. My consultant didn't test before my third treatment but all three treatments resulted in very few eggs and no frosties. My cycle is also short between 23 and 28 days. Is this related to FSH? Have you got any info about Angus Cactus that you can pass on? What vits is your DH taking? Hope you don't mind me asking!

I have decided I better start getting healthy again over the next few months. It will be good to do something positive while we save up.

Take care all

Frankie xx


----------



## sallywags

Frankie - hi hun, welcome to Broodies!

We are in the same boat i think - 18 month old after 3 icsis!  I think i crammed mine in a bit tighter though, as i did all 3 in the space of one year!

As for the Agnus Castus, it is supposed to balance hormones etc - if you do a quick search there is quite a lot on it on the site.  I've found that since i started taking it my cycles have gone from 24 days (only ever happened since i had M - was always 28-30 before that) and my last cycle was 27-28 days.  so i am hoping it is working!  id on't know what affect, if any, it has had on my FSH yet.  i will get another test probably in the next month or two as we hope to start again around september.

i don't think an FSH of 10 is insurmountable - are you planning on getting another test soon?


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## FLH

Hi Sally

Thanks for the info, I will have a look and probably go and buy some vits. We had our icsi's in the space of about 14 months too. The first three years were just 'trying' and being made to repeat lots of tests by the local hospital. Repeating tests delayed us by about a year   Still it was all worth it in the end.

We are at a fab clinic with a consultant who knows I obsess about every test! He told me not to bother with another FSH test before my last icsi. His mantra is "Quality not quantity" I have always ended up with two grade 1 or 2 embies for each cycle and he thinks that this shows my eggs are ok but my body doesn't respond to the drugs. I will ask for a repeat of the test though. We usually get about 4-6 eggs per cycle which is low considering I am on a stupidly high dose of drugs....oh the joys of treatment are all flooding back to me now    

I am going to book an appointment with my GP to see if she will repeat the FSH test and the tests for DP. This would save us some money but I don't know if she will consider it now that we have our boy. 

Anyway, thanks for replying, good luck with your next FSH.

Frankie x


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## sallywags

Hun just realised i didn't realised i missed one of your questions - dh is (supposedly... he's rubbish at remembering!! mind you, i keep forgetting htis month!) taking just the wellman vits this time - it's all i can get him to do at the best of times!!


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## jrhh

Hi Ladies,

Welcome Frankie  

Oh ladies I am having a blip. Went to a friends birthday party this weekend and was surrounded by new babes, ranging from 2 months up. It was really hard and just made me feel frustrated and upset as I was asked the usual question of "are you having or planning another" if only it was that easy  

Sorry for the me post. Hope everyone is well.

Jacks x


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## sallywags

Jacks   you poor thing.  My physio today asked if i could be pregnant (i have lax ligaments, apparently!!  ) and it is so very hard. (and she knows about the IVF).

It doesn't get any easier, does it?


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## jrhh

Hi Sally,

Thanks for the cuddle. No hun I'm afraid it doesn't. How's the "being healthy regime going?"
Love the photo of M  

xxxxx


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## JaneNewcastle

Aw  Jacks, don't apologise for a 'me' post, that's really what this thread is for isn't it?  A place that we can share how we are feeling, without anyone being upset and with everyone understanding what we are going through.

Hope you have a great weekend with T



Jane
xx


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## sallywags

Jacks - hmm keep forgetting my vitamin tablets - in fact i haven't taken my agnus castus more than twice this month (god i'm rubbish, you'd think this wasn't important, wouldn't you?! ) but i'm hoping my weight is coming down ( i won't bore you with the detail, but i've been doing Paul McKenna's 'I can make you thin' and although i am not allowed to weigh myself for another week, i think it's working... 9she says tentatively!! ) I'm also hoping dh will pull his finger out and book his SA this week....

think i will try to get a new FSH done this month too - it's been at least 3 months i think?? where does the time go eh?


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## jane1604

Hiya

Come to join you all. I have a beautiful daughter following ICSI, she will be 2 in July. We are so happy us three but that longing for another one is creeping up on me. We havent used any contraception for 5 years now and have been told its not impossible for a natural miricle. We have only been ttc no 2 since xmas but already Im itching to get started on tx, every month just makes me less hopeful.

I hate that when you having another question someone did that to me the other day too   so insensitive.

DH is lurking so Im off to bed   well you know CD 13 

xx


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## jrhh

Hi Jane and welcome hunni. I know what you mean about every month. Is it wrong to feel scared about going through the IVF again and the strain that goes with it. We have been trying naturally now for over 12 months and nothing. I still get my hopes up every month. Mad hey.

Sally TAKE YOUR VITS!!!!!!!     

Hi to everyone else.

Jacks xx


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## jane1604

Hi Jacks, yes Im scared of more tx because we were so lucky first maybe thats our luck. Got 1 embie frozen so think we'll have FET first but not convinced it will work with only 1 but you never know


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## jrhh

Jane I know what you mean. Oh hun good luck with the FET I would try that first too. Wish we had some frosties.

Fingers crossed hun. When do you think you'll go for it?

Hi to everyone else hope your all ok.

I have booked some acupuncture (inspired by Bev  ) It starts this Thurs I'll keep you all posted.

Jacks x


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## jrhh

Hi ladies,

I am having a blip today and feel quite low about everything. Wierd how it comes in waves. Prob cause af is due.

Oh how I long to be pg again. I keep getting tom's newborn face in my head and its making me feel that longing all over again.


xxxx


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## sallywags

Yes i've been getting that loads lately.  Can't wait to have a plan of when we are starting again....


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## *Bev*

Sorry gatecrashing - Jacks just seen you've booked accpuncture, wishing you all the luck with it honey - fingers crossed for the same response I got!!


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## sallywags

God Bev, i've just seen you had an apendectomy - bl00dy hell that must have been scary!!  how did i miss that?!?!  i've been very unobservant lately - and given that i spend most of my working day on here, i'm clearly rubbish!!

how are you!??!


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## jrhh

Bev thanks hun. Gatecrash anytime!  Fingers crossed hey. I can't believe you had to face an appendectomy. Bet that was terrifying. Like Sal says how are you feeling?   

Sal thanks for the TLC. To be honest treatment terrifies me, I'm so scared of failing and being thrown into a depression and where to go from here......
  I have put if off for a few months till I stop b/f T then I can make some solid decisions.

Hi to everyone else

xxxx


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## sallywags

Jacks - big hugs hun

im not scared of treatment - it gives me something positive to focus on, but yes, i am pretty terrified that it would fail!  even more so than before i think....


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## *Bev*

Only had op last Sunday so still sore, bruised and feeling pretty grotty really - difficult to know if post op or pregnancy, or as my Mum quite rightly pointed out earlier - you've never had an op when pregnant your bound to feel awful.

It was a terrifying time but we're over it now, just need some R&R to get myself sorted, i'm off work now for anywhere between 3 and 6wks to recover so we'll see how we go... i'm rubbish at being ill, already fed up and bored.

Love and hugs to you all.

Bev xx


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## sallywags

means you're getting better if you're bored!! when i had meningitis the first week went in a blur, then i started to get bored as i started to recover!!!


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## *Bev*

Sal your a nurse aren't you?  Can I use arnica tablets in pregnancy to help with the bruising?  My stomach is completely yellow as are various other parts of my body which they weren't operating on  ?!


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## sallywags

I think you can take them - it might be worth a google?


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## jrhh

Bev hunni you take care. I read that Arnica can stimulate the uterus when pg so check before you use it. Rest up and enjoy the boredom whilst you can  

Sal I know what you mean about the treatment, I need to do this but I am scared too!  just got af today 3 days late, you can imagine....

The acupuncture was good. So here goes....

xxx


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