# Advise please!!!!!!!



## ma1978 (May 30, 2009)

Please can someone give me some advice we adopted out little boy back in February this year he was 11 mths old. Now he is 15mths and just started walking but the problem I have every time I walk past him he just holds onto my legs. I know he's teething his back teeth at the mo but just need abit of advice how to sort it out before it gets a habit.    Thanks guys x x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi,

I don't know how you've found things so far but given age, teething & time in placement I'd say his clingyness is a sign that he's needing you or wanting more and that's a good sign.

Tbh in early months/years of adoption I tend to throw out the rule book re kids developing habits when it's relating to your relationship. Yes if it's a normal toddler thing like throwing food/yelling etc but if my little boy goes through times of needing mummy more then I embrace it. The more I satisfy his need the less it be ones an issue. Keep thinking younger - if you had a 4month old (time since placement) would you think he's being clingy? 

They do develop and grow out if these phases - your unlikely to have a 18-24 month hanging I to your leg as you move. At this age and time in placement my LO couldn't cope with being separated at all from me - toilet, dinner, shower were all fine with him being within touching distance or a stride away (in kitchen for instance to keep him safe).

My LO wouldn't play on own or anything at this time/age too so I spent my days out with him, carrying him or on floor playing baby games such as peek a boo, crawl chases and anything that mirrored what he did. Fun times but very exhausting but oh so worth it now given how strong a bond we have.

X x


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

I think Gertie really summed it up well.  Don't worry about normal development, younger is good in so many ways for our children, because we get to fill in the gaps we and they missed in our relationships.  If he needs you, I'd embrace it.  I find it hard with Bladelet that I can't do this as much as I want to sometimes (2 needy kids is a bit of a tight rope walk) but I do humour it all as much as I can.  I wouldn't worry about bad habits at all at this stage.  I've found with both mine, the more I accept their demands for physical contact, the less demanding they are over time.

If I really do need to get something done and Bladelet is leg humping, I find the best way to get through it is to give him a big cuddle on the floor, then pick him up by his lower legs and turn him upside down and tease him a bit about how I should put him down, then once he's properly giggling I very gently put him down head first and turn him into a forward roll.  He's so pleased with this I can usually get a couple of minutes of doing stuff before he comes in for the next tackle on my legs.  

All the best,

Wyxie xx


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## ma1978 (May 30, 2009)

Ahh thank you so much ladies all that advise has been taken in its so lovely to know you are not the only ones that are going through this. Thanks x x x


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## Duckling (Oct 5, 2009)

Yes I'd say it's a good sign too. I'd agree with all the advice above. I'd always stop for a big cuddle before trying to do a few more jobs. X


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