# Social worker Clash!



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Thanks for reading, I am not adopting, however a good friend at work with me is, her and her husband are both nurses and its seems the she is clashing with their social worker ( personalities) and she is now wondering if they could/should request another SW, or if this would impact negatively on them and the process, they have just had their 1st of 10 home visits 
I said I would have a search of FF, and to be honest I've drawn a blank   so I am asking instead any advice or feedback for them - by PM if you prefer as I will pass anything relevant on ( tried to persuade her to join you all but shes not yet  ) 

I hope you don't mind me asking on their behalf  
~Dizzi~


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Hey Dizi,

Not a personal experience, however, on our prep we became friends with a couple similar in age/situ as us, they weren't happy with their SW (basically a clash and feeling unsupported by her).
They were the same as your friend in not knowing what to do, but they decided they would rather drop out of the process than work with this lady - after much chat and advise from others they decided to speak up. They contacted team manager and explained they felt the "match" between them and SW didn't work, and were given a new SW without question.

At the end of the day, you have to feel comfortable with this person, it's a very in depth and personal process and you have to feel as relaxed and comfortable as possible to speak out to them. Most/all LA's are desperate for adopters, and if they have been accepted on to the programme then they obviously see something in them that they feel makes them suitable and they won't want to loose them.

Didn't want to read and run, but I am sure someone will be able to give you personal experience advice x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Thank you Nicola, 
I am off to bed now, but what you say makes sense, So thank you for posting
x x I will pass it on


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## Mummyfairy (Mar 1, 2013)

From watching the recent ITV programmes about adoption, panels, matching etc it seems you need a very close and mutual bonding with your SW and if it is not there I think it would be justified for everyone's benefit especially the child, to ask for a change. We are all different and do not always gel with another person but for something as important as this it is vital to have that trust and bond with the person who is helping you match with a child. Some questions are very intimate though and probably have to be. Maybe your friends could watch the series on ITV catch up as they are very interesting.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi, just another thought - have they given it enough time? We had met and talked to our SW for a good few hours and by time we were allocated a SW (and found it was the one from months previously) we were very happy. However some others in my agency got messed about a bit and the early SWs on prep & initial visits weren't the same as the ones who started HS and it took them the first few meeting to know if they clicked with the SW.

If they feel they have then they're best to politely explain this to SW manager and start with a new one. Be aware they may have to wait as resources can be stretched.

Wish them luck and us guys on the adopters thread have lots of experiences that may help them have a buddy whilst going through this intrusive process.

X


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## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi Dizzi,

I haven't spoken to you for ages!  how are you?
(I used to be 'Angie x' btw)  

I don't have time to check through the replies so I'm sorry if I repeat what has already been said.

We have adopted twice and both times we have been really lucky to have absolutely wonderful sw's, to the point that we were sad to say goodbye to them 
On the other side of things our lo's sw's have driven us mad and we know we couldn't have made it through the assessment process with sanity intact had we been assigned to them (especially the first time, as the assessment process used to be so much longer than it is now).

Our sw's have been such a brilliant source of support to us, and something to remember is that it's not just through the assessment that sw's are assigned but during matching, right through to placement and up to adoption order.

Hopefully your friends will experience an uncomplicated assessment and matching process but if things get more complicated, especially after placement then it will be their sw who would be the first point of contact for support.

I personally would wait for a couple more visits (as it may look quite harsh after just one visit, and they may change their opinion when they get to know the sw). If they then still feel the same though I would definitely diplomatically mention it to the manager. I'm sure if it's worded in such a way that shows they are aware of the importance of the assessment process hence why they are having the conversation, it will only reflect on them in a positive way.

As others have probably said, I don't mind your friend pm'ing me if there's something they want to ask an adopter 'off forum'

Please wish them lots of luck 

Anj x


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## morganna (Sep 16, 2008)

Hello,
I fostered and adopted for many many years.

First impressions are always right.
Tell them to request another social worker.
Best vof luck to them.
Morganna xx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

thanks everyone I will pass on your wise words x x 
FF ladies really are the best! 

~Dizzi~

PS Congrats Anj on your beautiful girls  x x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

dizzi i got all excited then when i saw you posting in this section lol


yep agree with the others..maybe give the sw one more chance (to show they've given it a decent shot) and if it still feels wrong then it shouldnt be a problem to ask to change. maybe they might like to jot down significant things/reasons why it doesnt feel right to get it clear in their minds before they contact somone more senior. I know people that changed and it wasnt a problem.


kj x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

> Thank you was great to see other people have been in the same position. Think we are doing one more visit with him and if not right we will request a change,thank the ladies for me!


     

Sorry Keemjay - I would like to foster, but DH says no, maybe one day . . .


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