# New and trying to decide what to do...



## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hi everyone,

i am totally new to this site and this is my first post ever! So bear with me if i'm not up to speed with the abbreviations etc. 

I have recently been diagnosed with POF, it has been a struggle for years to get any doctors to take my symptoms seriously.... i'm sure many of you have experienced this! I am 26 years old and finding out i cannot conceive a child naturally has been quite a shock as it is all i have ever wanted. My consultant has been relatively helpful but also quite blunt....in the same sentence as telling me i was infertile he suggested we go to Spain for DE!! I was in shock and just wept..i had never really thought about DE before and had no idea why he was suggesting i have a Spanish baby LOL!

Anyway DH and i have now had time to adjust to the idea. We are seeking a second opinion in the UK (at CARE) just to make sure my own eggs cannot be used. This seems unlikely as my FSH levels are consistently high (like 5 and my AMH levels (egg reserve) was 0.3 which is very low/undetectable.

If we cannot use my eggs we are considering going to Institute Marques or Eugin for DE treatment in Spain or possibly staying in the UK and using DE from CARE....it's such a confusing time. Our dealings so far with the NHS have made us feel quite insignificant and we are hoping that going privately we will not be written off as quickly.

I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has a similar diagnosis or is currently deciding which course of treatment to pursue like us. 

Love Florie x x


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## Essey (Oct 21, 2005)

Hi Florie, so sorry to hear about what you're going through.  It must be hard enough finding out about the POF, let alone taking in all the treatment implications.  I guess clinics see so many patients every day they can come across as quite blase, whilst for you it is a massive, life-changing situation.  Unfortunately there is a serious lack of egg donors in this country, but more and more clinics are offering egg-sharing schemes, so hopefully that will lessen waiting times for donor eggs.  Did the clinic give you an estimate for waiting list times for egg donation?  Waiting lists are shorter in Europe because many places offer financial compensation to donors, so there are more women willing to go through the donation process.
Anyway, best of luck for whatever you decide and your treatment, I'll blow you some bubbles!
Sarah
x


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

I haven't been in exactly the same position, my problem is that i get pg but miscarry. However, there is a process where you slowly come to terms with the fact that you will not have a child that is yours gentically. This was probably easier for me, as I have one already. I wonder if you would benefit from some counselling, to think through what is being suggested to you?

When you're ready, there's a lot of lovely people in the treatment aboard thread, including people who are doing DE in Spain.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=119.0

The Rober Winston BBC show has a couple of episodes coming up about DE abroad, one in Spain.

HTH

xx


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Nice article:

http://www.4therapy.com/consumer/life_topics/item.php?seeresults=1&uniqueid=5902&categoryid=495&

xx


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hi Guys

Thanks for your support...i can't believe how lovely everyone is on here.

Sarah...i think the Uk clinic we are going to has a relatively short waiting list (due to a big media campaign) but we don't think we want to tell the child that it is from DE so are leaning more to going abroad. Also thanks for my bubbles....i will blow some back if i can figure out how to do it lol! 

Drownedgirl...thanks also for your help...we have been glued to the BBC series so far although it is difficult to watch at times (a little close to home). I also think we will look into counselling.

Thanks again

Florie x x


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Florie just got a US book via amazon about de.. will let you know if it's any good


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Thanks, i have ordered a book from Amazon too but they emailed me to say there is a six week delay...oh well. Let me know how you get on

Florie x


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## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

Hi Florie
I can imagine what a big shock all this has been for you.  Do give yourself time to adjust to the idea of using DE.  It's very different and the long-term implications are great.  That said, having a family using donated gametes is probably my most important and satisfying life achievement.
Do think long and hard about secrecy.  It's really difficult to keep up and you can find yourself feeling very uncomfortable with the lies and evasions that it causes.  Have a read through the thread on Telling Children and see what others have to say.  It  really is easier in the end to 'tell'.  If you want further information about being open about DE, go to www.dcnetwork.org
Best wishes
Olivia


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