# Hi, new here



## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Hi I'm Paul

My wife and I have been trying for kids for 5 years in all. I wanted to have kids before I was 30 but at 32 we are now starting on the long road to adoption.

We were initially told that I had a sperm count of less than 5million, after 18 months of tests it was a mixed reaction of relief and anger (that we were ever given hope) that I was diagnosed with Klinefelter's Syndrome, I am XXY (mosaic) which means I could never have biological children.

We then had to go on the Sperm Donor waiting list, after waiting over a year with no response we decided to go private. I really didn't want to spend more money on getting a child than raising one. However we did have three attempts at IUI, a total cost of £6000.

After the grieving period we went along to two open evenings, one run by the Local Authority and one run by a local charity.
We interviewed at both within a couple of days of each other and after being told by the LA that we'd have an answer within 10 days we waited.

We got an answer from the Charity within 7 days, they said we could apply for adoption with them on the condition I have an early medical (I have Thoracic Facet Joint Arthritis and I am disabled due to this), we duly accepted their invitation and we formally apply in the New Year.

In the meantime we finally got an answer from the LA (just 32 days later!) that we would have to wait until April before we could apply, as that is the date we'd both be smoke free - I gave up smoking on the 1st October, my wife on the 1st November.
We were both a little aggrieved by this decision as they gave the reason was in line with National guidelines not to enter children under the age of 5 with potential parents who were smokers - even though we have asked for children over 5!

This only cemented our decision to chose the charity as I don't think either of us can trust the LA - my wife also works within the LA in children's services so knows the tricks they play.

Anyway, that is a shortened version of our story, and I hope to find some support in the coming months/years from this wonderful forum.

Thanks


----------



## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Hi Paulibo. Just wanted to say hi!! Another one who has been through the mill!! We all deserve medals!!! Although I am sorry about what you have been through!! Happy christmas and a haapy new year to you and all your family!! I wish u all the luck in the world!!! 
F x


----------



## o Doc o (Dec 27, 2012)

I know some like to smoke free homes that is one of the major concerns of our LA. We applied about 4 years ago and they asked if we had a car and they turned us down because we didn't   , which is very strange and this put us off. A few years down the line and we're booked on a workshop with a different LA. So keep going It will be worth it


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Thanks for your replies and kind wishes.

We are both happy to have found a VA that can support us and that we trust. On the first Open Evening we thought that we'd known the SC for years, she was just that nice and welcoming.

Wishing you all a Happy new year.

Paul


----------



## julesF (Apr 7, 2009)

hi and welcome
you'll find this site a great resource for advice and support we to went through a va as our la were awkward as I worked for the la.

VAs tend to be quicker as they only get their money from the la were children are placed from once the kids are placed

we were approved in the Feb and matched 4mnths later

your young at 32 we were 33 when we were matched we started adoption process 3mnths after being married as we knew hubbie had low sperm count our biological children were not a possibility

Best of luck with the process


----------



## hawk26 (Apr 4, 2010)

Hi,
You are in a very similar situation to us - my husband also has Klinefelter's syndrome (XXY mosaic) and is an ex-smoker. However, we found out what the problem was much sooner thanks to his GP suggesting it, what a shock. He is very glad to see another Klinefelter's bloke on here! We have also been less than impressed with the LA but have stuck with them. 
Best of luck for your journey


----------



## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

Hi and welcome to the forum   I am sure you will find lots of help and support here, good luck on your journey


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Thanks for your replies and warm welcomes.

I'm also glad that there are other's with Klinefelters, although they say it affects 1 in 750 men, I haven't yet met anyone else who has it. My new GP didn't even know what it was and was trying to guess my symptoms.
He even said my T levels looked fine - well they would be I'd just had one of my fortnightly injections.

What does your husband take?


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Quick Update:

We handed in our formal application form on Friday and we are now getting excited about the Preparation Group we are booked on from 23rd to 25th January.
Any tips to calm our nerves?


----------



## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Hi Pauliboo!

DH and I are starting our Prep course 2 weeks after you guys! Only think I can say is to try and get on with everyday life. Enjoy the time you get to spend with your wife as once the home study starts you may not get that much private time. Find out what books on adoption, both the process and personal accounts, your local Library has available. This is also a good time to finish any DIY projects you've been putting off.

Good luck!

Jes
xx


----------



## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Hi Pauliboo. Following our initial home visit just before Christmas, DH and I received notification last week that we will be on our prep course which starts in February! I am excited, but slightly apprehensive, about the course as I don't really know what to expect so will be watching your posts with interest lol.

I have found other areas of this board to be a great source of help and support so I am sure that this one will be no different.

Good luck with your journey.


----------



## hawk26 (Apr 4, 2010)

Hi Paul,
Good luck for your prep course this week, we are the week after. Just keeping busy and having the goddaughters for a sleepover this weekend!
My husband uses gel each day and sees his endocrinologist every 6 months.


----------



## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

hawk26 said:


> My husband uses gel each day and sees his endocrinologist every 6 months.


I couldn't do that, far too much trouble for me. I see my endo every 6 months too (it's a 110 mile round trip!) and he has let me carry on with sustanon injections every 2-3 weeks. The Nebido injections were horrible and made me ill for up to a week afterwards.

I'll try and keep a diary of our journey, especially on what happens at each stage which hopefully will help others prepare. It will also be a good reminder of how far we've come.
I think between my wife and I, we've read almost every book from the library and bought a few which we couldn't get.

Thanks.

Paul


----------

