# Play dates



## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi everyone, 
This is not really a specific adoption related topic, but because I've only been a Mummy for a little over a year I find myself at a slight loss. We have lots of friends with children, but few with children the same age and sex as Charlie and as yet I have not had the confidence to organise any specific play dates for him, he just sees the children of our friends when we catch up with them. We feel that Charlie can be a little underconfident at times socialising and we really want to help him build friendships at school, but, not having gone through toddlers, pre-school and nursery with him I don't really know any of the school mums and have no idea of the etiqute(sp) of play dates. I feel quite anxious about the idea of inviting children I don't know very well over for tea but although he never asks I think that he would love to have friends over to play.

So basically I'd love some tips from those of you with school age children, I also feel very uneasy about what I would do if he was invited to someone elsed house to play without me, I confess to being very overprotective in some ways, goodness only knows how I'm going to cope as he gets older, do you think 18 is too old to let your son go out on his own somewhere for the first time?  

Thanks in advance for your wise replies!  


Viva
X


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## ameliacooper (Aug 12, 2007)

Viva - I don't know if this is any help

But my sister's got 5 year twins and they go to all these after school (not at school) groups - they go to a swimming group - he does football at a sports centre and she does ballet at my gym. I know (because I've been there with my sister) that she just leaves them to it - and either sits in the cafe with the other mums or pops out to the supermarket so that gives them confidence and I know that she's met a few other mums and they've met friends through it!

Ax


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Viva

So glad you have brought this up as i now talk to another mum at school who DD is in my DD pre-school class and also our DS's will be starting in the same pre-school class this summer and we all walk to/home from school some days as they live round the corner and on Fri this other mum said "must arrange for your DD to come for tea" omg hun my heart sank as i want her to go however i feel so over protective (other reasons have made me like this! hence why DH and i have only had a baby sitter 3times in 9months even though we could go out when we wanted as inlaws babysit)

I talked it over with DH and he is happy for DD to go there as we know the mum, we know where she works (in another school) HOWEVER i have said to DH that i wont let her go til after half term as i plan to arrange for us to take them out together 1st (me, other mum and the 5 children-my 2 her 3) 


Viva said:


> I also feel very uneasy about what I would do if he was invited to someone elsed house to play without me, I confess to being very overprotective in some ways, goodness only knows how I'm going to cope as he gets older


No ...... NEVER.......18 isnt that a tad young? i was thinking more 35! - My DH has taught DD that she can do anything she likes when she is 1day older then Daddy ......... she is a total daddys girl..........oh and she is gonna live at home forever!


Viva said:


> do you think 18 is too old to let your son go out on his own somewhere for the first time?


in ref to your question- is there any one that Charlie plays with at school? if so what about trying to talk to the mum and become friends and maybe take them out together 1st if you pref this (like me!)

Good luck hun

xxxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

How about putting his name down to start beavers, young cubs, I think you have to be 6 to join......long time ago since I ran a unit now so my mind is a bit bleary!!!  That way he would mix with children in the unit and most probably with some children form his class and its usually only for an hour a night once a week.......also as he is not 6 yet it would give you time to get your head around things.......i mean that in a nice way.....letting your children go somewhere for the first time is nerve racking but honestly by the time he is 18 you'll be pushing him out of the door!!! lol
Andrea
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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Thanks for your replies.

Superal I have been thinking about Beavers, I just have to investigate and consider logistics a little more, now I am working 2 evenings a week  I need to think about how DH would manage if he needed to take DD (and in the future the baby) with him to pick Charlie up and if it would mess up everyones bedtimes etc. Rather surprisingly Charlie came home from school with a leaflet for a holiday club this half term run by one of the churches local to us, he was really keen to go so as it only cost £2 a session we have signed him up, it's for 2 1/2 hours in the morning only, so we figure he can give it a try and even if he doesn't cope with it and doesn't go to all the session we haven't really lost anything. I'm not too sure yet who else is going from his class, with the weather we've had we've missed loads of school and I'm not had chance to ask the other parents but it seems like a good thing to try.

Amelia, Charlie had been doing some after school stuff and has been happy doing this but does still seem a bit distanced from the other children when doing it. We're still swimming, although it's quite hard to build relationships whilst swimming, but we're leaving football for the time being as he wsn't really making an attempt to interact and actually play football!

MJ, I think that you're idea of a joint 'play date' with both Mum's present is a great idea the only difficulty I have nothing in common with the Mum's of Charlies closest friends at school, this sounds dreadful, but they are not white British, conversation is hard work and a bit stilted and culturally we don't really have any areas to connect on. I'm also not sure how they'd react if I sugggested a joint trip out.

Hope you've all been enjoying the snow.
Love


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