# Going mad !!!!!



## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Please can someone tell me......

At my CD12 scan we were told to have bms every day for three days, with yesterday being the second day.  Well, it never happened yesterday and now I am torturing myself with the thought that it's all over for us already.  Have we completely ruined our chances already ?

We had bms on the first of the 3 days and the day before that and will try again tonight and tomorrow.

Please tell me honestly, as I am not sure that I have ovulated before without the clomid and been getting what I think are ov pains for a couple of days now.

Feeling very    today.  Completely over-emotional at the moment and seem to burst into   at the drop of a hat. Sitting at work typing this trying hard to keep it together.

NIx.


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## clc_girly (Feb 1, 2006)

hi i was like that a couple of months, and we both work shifts so was really difficult to fit it in. I have used the ovulation predictor kits and would recommend them. I understand how you feel and you probably havent missed it due to you still having the ovulation pains.xxxx
p.s the clomid probably isnt helping with the emotional feelings, i cried for 2 days at work on my 1st cycle for no reason, although it has got better as the months went on.


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Thanks clc,

Just feel like I'm losing the plot at the moment and Im not normally a particularly emotional person, but just lately........     

Am trying hard to get a grip and put it all into perspective, but you know what it's like some days....

Thanks for your support hun,

Nix.


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi

You'll be fine...try not to stress yourself about it.  What cd are you on today ?  Have you ovulated yet ?

Sperm can live for 3-5 days whereas an egg only survives for about 12-24 hours...as long as there's plenty of fresh sperm ready and waiting for when egg released then you've a chance of it catching the egg !

Try not to get too obsessive about making love...just ensure that you have as much as possible and if you miss an evening, nevermind, there's always the next night !

Good luck
Natasha


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## AngelMoon (Dec 1, 2006)

Hi Nix,

I was totally the same when we first took Clomid. Was so worried that we'd miss our chance but I got my BFP at the beginning of Feb!! 

We weren't told how many days to have BMS for but when I was told I was likely to ovulate over the weekend we did it Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon & Tues. Just to be on the safe side, I'd definitely say do it a few times more than advised just in case ;o)

It's incredibly difficult not to turn having sex into a mechanical/non emotional thing but stick with it. Try to spice things up with sexy underwear, candles, even certain films if it helps!! Although it was difficult at times for DH and I (felt like I was just using him for one thing ( ) we managed to keep laughing about it. 

Also keep your legs in the air for at least 20 mins after - I did it and look at me!! 

Best of luck and hope you aren't feeling so emotional tomorrow - it's not nice!  

Ros
x


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Thanks girls  

Minxy - I'm on CD15 today.  Had my scan on Monday and they told me to do it that and and every day for 3 days!  Cos I've got PCOS I've never been really sure when/if I ov  - the OPK's never worked for me.  What would you recommend   Any advice would be great !!

Ros - Congrats on your BFP, that really gives me hope!  We've been really good so far, trying to keep it lighthearted and have a joke about it but I just seem to have had a total sense of humour failure today     I really don;t want it to get mechanical, but am finding it very hard at the moment as it seems to be the only thing I think about.  Am doing the legs in the air thing - DH is doing it too bless him  

Thanks so much for your help and support - mean more than you know.  God, off I go again    Bloody loony pills   

Nix .......trying to stay


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Haven't posted on here for ages but keep seeing how you are all doing.

Nix - Am on first 100mg cycle of Clomid and I had third scan on Friday (cd19) and fourth scan on Monday just gone (cd22) and the nurse said that I had ov'd over the weekend as the 19mm follicle from Fri morn had collapsed to 9mm by Monday and my lining was up to 7.6mm!  God, how technical.  Anyway, we had BMS on Thurs/Sat/Sun and I like you am panicking that it wasn't enough!  Especially reading that we should have gone for it at least 3 days running!!! Assuming the egg had been out there for more than 12 hours, we didn't do anything Mon night as we were both too tired from Sat/Sun action  .  I think it's old-age getting the better of us. I am now stressing however that I should have insisted on BMS on Fri but DH said he was too knackered   I have a headache today from thinking about it too much.

Am already not looking forward to the stress of next month (as I've already convinced myself it hasn't worked this month).

I am sure we are both going over the top and are doing all the right things.  I am eating chocolate - that is helping    Try not to worry....she says, going slightly mad at her desk too!!!

Clairex


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

Hi Nix
I agree with Minxy, don't worry!! sperm can survive for several days, just get jiggy tonight and at least every other night for as long as you can keep going

xxx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hey Claire - it's good to know that I;m not the only one turning into a neurotic freak    

Thanks Flowerpot - I think I know deep down that I am over-reacting, but needed to be reassured!

Wish I knew when and if I ov now and before clomid !?!  It freaks me out how scarily little I know abaout my own body actually  

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all your support - how would I cope without FF and you girls


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Lots of   back!

I suppose I am now on the 2ww and have already started looking for symptoms....I am gonna be deranged by the time test date comes around  !  I am actually not sure whether to test on that date or just sit on my hands and see if AF comes. Like you, I never in the past have known if I have ov'd or not (with one exception 3 years ago when I got a BFP) and every month it is the same questions and waiting.  There have been so many wasted HPTs in the past.  I must look into buying these cheap ones....

I am now into a bag of Fruitellas (the sugar free ones.....what is the point?).
Cx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

There should still be some little swimmers  alive and well from your BMS the other night....as Flower has said, just try to make love as much as possible for as many days as you can...and the main thing...have fun !!









Good luck 
Natasha


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Thanks Minxy - I'll try jumping him tonight with a smile on my face  

Claire - I what you mean about hpt's.  I hate the bloody things!  Only ever had one BFP and that was many years ago before we had even started ttc or were ready (mc'd at about 10 weeks).  I think I am gonna try not to test on the day either - practically every time I've tested af has arrived within a couple of hours!  What day are you due to test ??

Mmmm, could could go for a Fruitella actually - sick of bloody brazil nuts !!!!

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

That made me laugh about the nuts!  I don't them otherwise I would be shoving them down my neck as I type!

I am due to test on 30th April, assuming it's 14 days for my weird body from ov time.  I have a meeting with big boss now but will catch up laters!!!  What is your test date?  Must be just after mine?

Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

I'm not mad keen on them either, but am munching away!  Hell, I'd give most things a try right now  

Test day for me is 5th May apparently   

Chatting on here and really cheered me up - don't feel quite so     now !!


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## Rosie P (Nov 10, 2005)

Hi Nix. I spent countless cycles having BMS every day, and as I was having no tracking at all and ov'd anywhere from CD14 to CD25, you can imagine how worn out we were by the end. I think in fact it actually did more harm than good, and in the last few cycles I totally gave up hope, so relaxed a bit more about everything and had BMS every other day. At the end of the day we can do all that we can to help ourselves have the ultimate chance (scoffing as many Brazil nuts as humanly possible, doing headstands after BMS, squirting preseed up ourselves at every given opportunity) but in the end it really is down to luck and there's nothing we can really do about that. That doesn't sound very helpful does it    but what I'm meaning to say is try not to beat yourself up about it, as I'm sure even every other day is ample. Also, I'm sure I read somewhere that every day can be detrimental to CM or something 

Good luck hun.  

Rosie. xxx


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Sorry Nix - I meant to say that I am really sorry to hear about your mc previously. A horrid thing to cope with at any time in your life. 

Yes - I feel a bit better getting it off my chest today too!  I am glad I posted now.  I have been worrying since Monday and not spoken to anyone, even DH as he has a lot on his plate with work at the moment. I guess what will be, will be this month.  It's too late to worry now!  I have continued to have what I thought were ov pains since Monday but obviously it can't be that as the nurse said I had ov'd - I don't know what that is all about?  I have a pain as I type.  Maybe it's just where they have been stimulated more than usual! 

I am also wondering whether I should abstain from any alcohol over next couple of weeks?  I love a glass of vino or 3  but I feel like I need to try and be as healthy as poss.  I did have a couple of glasses over the weekend but we were away in Dorset so I was in holiday mode.  I also promised to start dieting on Monday but I just feel like eating loads of chocolate and chips at the moment!

Glad you are feeling a bit more chipper!  
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Know what you mean about the alcohol thing. I asked this question the other day - it's my birthday Saturday (how the hell did I end up being 31 - surely it's a mistake    )  - think I will probably have a couple of glasses of wine and leave it at that !  Got to have some enjoyment left in my life surely - can't smoke, can't drink alcohol or coffee and even sex has become a chore       

Off home now - been really good to chatting.  Be good to stay in touch seeing as we're around the same time on our cycles ?!

Nix. x


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Yes, I will keep in touch. I was supposed to go for a run tonight after work at another vain attempt to keep fit but I am up to my eyes in it here (spending too much time on FF!) so I will have to try and go tomorrow.  My friend is getting really exasperated with me as I keep letting her down (we usually run together and are down for a 5k Race for Life thing on 20th May - I would collapse by the end of my road at the moment!). 

I am not going to deny myself everything either, I think.  Life is tooooo short!
Take care and hope you manage some bedroom action tonight.
Cx


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## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi Nix  

I 2 am a nutter!!!    I've done 5 cycles on clomid, and each month the nuttyness gets worse!!!
Each time 1 think i'm ov, i go 4 it like the clappers, and when AF arrives AGAIN, I'm gutted cos i was sure i did it at the right time!!     It's sooo hard, but this cycle, I've chilled it out and tryed not 2 think about it and haven't stuck 2 a routine of loads of bms at once. It can get 2 robotic and i think that adds 2 the pressure.  I tried using OPK's last month, and if u want my advice, don't use them, they just add 2 the pressure big style and mess with your head    And that is not what u need as clomid does that quite well on it's own thank u!!  

Now, i just try and think, it'll happen when it happens, and there ain't no point stressing.  I've been TTC for over 4yrs now, had operation after operation, procedure after procedure, so I do know how hard it is. 4 yrs of stress so far, so trying 2 chill out more now.   

Good luck hun, hope it works soon 4 u

LOL Lilyflower xxx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hey lillyflower !

Always good to meet a fellow nutter  

I tried OPK's a few years back, but I never got a positive on them (didn;t know them that they don't work if you have PCOS) and in the end I had to stop cos I was becoming obsessed and to be honest - if I'd carried on much longer I think I'd have lost the ability to pee without holding a stick under me, what with them and the HPT's     

Hi Claire - how'd that run go ?  Made me knackered just to think of it !!!

Nix  

PS.  thanks to whoever blew me lots of bubbles


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Nix - I never got to do that run!  I didn't get home until 7pm and I was knackered by then!! I don't need much of an excuse!  I might try again later but I am truly lazy! Plus I had a few things to do before The Apprentice was on telly, so that was another excuse!

Did you manage to get some   last night?  Hopefully if you did it made you feel a bit better.  We haven't gone near each other since our marathon week last week/weekend!!!  We should be used to this by now but it doesn't get any easier.

Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi Claire,

Yep, got down to some ^bms^ last night, so feeling much more sane today.....well, as sane as a clomid-head can be   

I'm into birthday mode now, so hopefully that should chill me out. Am off out for an Italian (meal, not man !!) with a friend tonight and am really looking forward to a night not obsessing about ttc !

Don't blame you for not bothering with the run last night - most nights I'm almost too knackered to walk home from the station.......especially with all the  .  Guess I'm not as young as I used to be  

Nix.


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Nix - glad you are feeling better now.  I am too.  I am just getting ready to move into the next stage of paranoia where you start to spot what might be pg symptoms!!!  It never end!!

I hope you have a fab birthday   and get lots of lovely presents. The weather is supposed to be great this Saturday  - we have just organised a bbq with a couple of friends.  Haven't had a glass of wine since Sat night so I will be gagging for one by then  ! Might go down to Brighton if the sun is shining on Sunday. What day is your birthday?  (By the way, I don't work Thurs or Fri hence my sporadic replies!)

Hi to everyone else - hope you all have good things planned for the weekend.
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Morning !

Claire - any pg symptoms yet hun ?!  How's this 2WW going so far ??  I'm dreading mine cos I tend to find symptoms that aren't there at the best of times anyway    Birthday is on Saturday and am looking forward to it now.  I'm normally really into birthdays (mine and anyone elses - am like a kid!), but have been so pre-occupied this year that I couldn't be ar*ed, but getting into it now.  Have fun if you do go into Brighton - I love it there, friends of ours are looking for a house there at the mo and I;m hoping they get it so we can go for lots of weekends  

Morning Lillyflower - how's you hun ??

Off to meeting now - back later.

Nix


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## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi Nix

Got my AF 2day      So bit low. God, why won't it happen? Start cycle 6 2mora. 
Was sick the other morning aswell, and felt sick all week, so thought, maybe we've done it this time!! But, AF come 2day like clockwork, day 28.   

Just can't face another cycle and month of daftness!!!  And if i hear of another person either falling pg or about 2 give birth i will scream!!!    My anutie is in labour as we speak, 2 people at work have announced pgs and i just think luvly, great, now go away and leave me alone!!!     

Is that awful? I do love 2 hear of pgs and new babies, but it's starting 2 get 2 me and it hasn't really in the past.  All my mates have kids and my brother has 4!!! But now, I'm getting jealous of people and i don't want that.  I've got a lot in my life 2 be thankful of, luvly DH, home, family and friends, so i think 2 mesalf why be jealous? But, can't help it sometimes.   

Any hoo, rant over, hope things are going better 4 u hun, speak soon

LOL Lilyflower xxx


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hi Nix and Lilyflower,

Nix - Happy Birthday for Sunday!!!  Hope you have great bd weekend and day.  I couldn't get online today as I was out at Bushey Park in Teddington - very nice there too, although you have to watch out for all the deer poo!  Good idea not to wear your best flip-flops. Luckily I had the £2 primark ones on   . I am trying to forget my bd this year as it is the big 3-5  

Lilyflower - sorry that AF arrived   .  I have previously felt or been sick too and thought the same as you and of course, nowt!  Why do our bodies do this to us?!?!?!  Have you tried anything else alongside clomid such as acupuncture?  My friend got to about cycle 6 of clomid, and had acu, and got pg that month.  Of course, we will never know which it was but she said it really relaxed her.  I might try it.

As for the 2ww, I am now around 6dpo (possibly 7? - ov'd over the weekend so not quite sure) and I have just felt really bloated all week and felt hungry but not fancied any food, if that makes any sense?  Like, I didn't fancy dinner tonight but after I ate it, I realised how hungry I was.  Oh dear...going la la  . I think it is too early to have any pg symptoms as I don't think implantaion happens until about 8-10dpo?  I think it might just be the fact I have ov'd and my body is probably trying to come to deal with it, it's been such a long time!  

How sad - Friday night, sitting in bed (not talking to DH as he had a go at me for spending too much money in Tesco today) on the laptop, watching Friends on DVD - I need to get a social life!  

I wish you a happy Saturday - I will probably catch up on here on Sunday.
   to all!!
Clairexx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi Lillyflower and Claire,

Very quick one, as it's my birthday today (thanks for the birthday wishes    ) and have to get ready to go out later.  Had a lovely morning wandering around Borough Market with DH and have been receiving flowers all day which is lovely  

Lilly- SO sorry to hear AF arrived darling  

Will catch up properly tomorrow.

Nix.


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Morning,

Hope you had a great birthday weekend, Nix!!! What did you get up to the in afternoon.  I love Borough Market - it's great there at Christmas with all the nice festive goodies.

Well, I did have a few drinks on Sat night at my barbie and DH opened a bottle of champagne last night - god knows why - it is only a sunday night? We don't normally live like that! My sunday night tipple is usually a cuppa and a rich tea biscuit!  He bought this bottle on special offer so we wanted to sample it before he went and got more.  It was very nice too. I was good and only had 1 1/2 glasses.  We were going to go to Brighton but there was some engineering works on our local line (and it would have been mobbed on the roads), so we all went for a walk along the river between Richmond and Teddington.  It was lovely but I got a bit sunburned on my face.  We don't normally live like that! My sunday night tipple is usually a cuppa and a rich tea biscuit!  He bought this bottle on special offer so we wanted to sample it before he went and got more.  It was very nice too. I was good and only had 1 1/2 glasses.

I feel totally normal today and no different at all, so I am thinking that the clomid made me feel really bloated last week and that I am in no way pg this month.  I am due to go out with the girls on Friday night (first time in ages) so I might actually do a test on Friday morning, even though I will be about 13dpo - silly isn't it?  I'm sure I am not pg but I can't stop myself hoping.  Would rather do that I think then go and get ratar**d. Crazy.

God, I don't half ramble on.  Hope you are having a good Monday morning.
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Morning !!

Claire - birthday weekend was great thanks!  After Borough Market (I love it there too - we're very lucky only living about half hour away) my friend came over with her 2 kids (my Godkids) with flowers and cards and then in the evening a group of us went to a casino - such a laugh, but unfortunately NOT very good for my wallet !!!  I was good with the drinking though - only had 1 gladd of red wine (someone pass me my halo please!!    Get you with your champagne on a Sunday evening    Very nice too though - why the hell shouldn't we spoil ourselves occasionally.  More of it I say !!!!  When's your test day hun ?  (I;m not to good on this DPO malarkey !!) 

Lillyflower - How you feeling today hun ?  Having only just started on the crazy clomid I can only imagine how you must be feeling starting cycle 6, but there does seem to be quite a few BFP's on here after 6 cycles - I have everything crossed for !!!!    I totally know what you mean about everyone being PG or having kids around you and how jealous it makes us feel at time - don't beat yourself up about, I reckon it's only natural to feel like that over something we want so badly !!

Well, it's CD19 for me (I think ??!!) and am finding it hard to be positive that it will have worked but I guess we'll find out soon!  Think I have just about reached that stage where I start analysing every little twinge, ache and emotion, so that should be fun for a couple of weeks  

Hope you're both doing OK today on yet another bloody Monday morning - am sure there are more of those than any other day you know !!  

Nix.


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

I just re-read my post and realised that I copied the text twice - what a  .

Glad the birthday went well - we live about half and hour from London Bridge too.  My DH works in Holborn, so he drags us up to town every now.  Casino sounded fun - we love a bit of that.  My DH is on a charity committee and we organise a casino night every year.  Last year, he decided to invest in all the gear e.g. chips etc, so we have taught ourselves how to croupier!  It is total madness but a good laugh and raises lots of money, which is the point.  It is amazing how many people take these charity things seriously though. Glad you enjoyed your night though. I have not been good on the alcohol front.  

Lilyflower - I hope you had a good weekend and like Nix, I have read and seen first hand how Clomid seems to have more success after more cycles.  I cross everything for you this time around.

I am not sure exactly what day I ov'd this month as on the Friday the follicle was 19mm and by Monday it had collapsed to 9mm (the nurse said this indicated ov as my lining was reasonably thick).  So I could have ov'd Friday/Sat/Sun, so my test day would be this Fri/Sat/Sun coming! A bit awkward really ? What day do I waste my tests on?? I am actually on cd28 but didn't ov until cd19-21 so a long cycle (but shorter than without clomid).
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

God, work's boring today  

Think I need to do a bit of swotting to learn all about follicle and lining optimum size/thickness, etc. !   On my CD 13 scan nurse side my follicle was 20mm and lining was thick - is that good then !?!?

Must be SO hard being near the end of your 2WW - I have zero patience or will power so God only knows how I'll be able to stop myself from testing too early and then sending myself   with false negatives and negative positives and what-not !   Also, my cycle is a bit irregular, so should I bother even testing on the day they've told me too or wait a few more days ?!!?

PS - just bubbled you up to 100 for extra luck this cycle !!   

ARRRGHGHGHGHGHGH - it's a right head-f*ck all this aint it !? Sorry - excuse my french


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Yes, I agree - very boring.  I have zero motivation but loads to do!!

I have only learnt the technical stuff on follicle size and lining etc on FF!  My lining was 7.6mm and she said that was good.  The lining needs to be thick for implantation.  The nurse also said to me that the follicle needs to be bigger than 18/19mm, so it sounds like your results were good.  Also good that it happened on day 13!  You should test around 14 days after ov.  That's why I am going for this weekend.  Mind you....the nurse also said that everyone is different and some women have a longer period after ov until AF would show or show a BFP!  It is a minefield - no wonder it is so hard to get pg!

If you are on day 19 now, you could test on day 28, which would be 2nd May or did they already tell you that?  Thing is, I feel normal so I know in my heart I am not pg but I am really glad that I ovulated as this means there is a chance.  

Thanks for the bubbles - I am just understanding how that works - I will blow you some back.  In the meantime, have some       
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

I hear ya!  Can only just about motivate myself to get into the office these days let alone actually do some work !

Oooh, well sounds as if my folly size was good then!  I've been told to test on May 5th !

I always think back to when I got pg before and the only things I can vividly remember were VERY sore (.)(.) and tiredness like I've never felt before.........trouble is I generally feel like that before AF arrives anyway so I always drive myself mad thinking "oooh, maybe I am"  

How long have they said you can stay on the clomid for ?  What mg you on ?  Did you have the pregnyl injection !?  (can't remember if you told me this already!)


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

The hospital wouldn't give me testing date, basically said if you bleed you are not pg and if you don't bleed then do a test....hmmmm....helpful.

They started me on 100mg and haven't had any other injections etc - what is that for? They did some blood tests and she said my hormone levels are reasonable?!  I had a HSG in March to check tubes which are fine, although I had one about 3 years ago and I fell pg very quickly after that - so not sure if the clear out helped, so to speak! She gave me 6 lots of clomid, so 5 left now. I haven't taken these drugs before.  How many months have they given you?  I found out this time around during the regime of tests that I have PCOS, so at least I now know why since 15, I have never had a regular AF!!!  

Last time I was pg, I don't even remember any symptoms per se but I had a cold for two weeks running and generally felt totally knackered. Looking back, we worked out that I conceived on the first day I started a new job, -can't believe I had the energy for any   but hey - so I was really preoccupied with that and didn't even believe I would ever get pg, let alone it happen.  I think I was at about 50+ days in my cycle, so I thought, right, either I have to go to the drs as I can't shake this illness or I do a hpt.  Did the test and bingo.  I think it was only then that the symptoms kicked in more.  I don't even remember sore (.)(.)s early on, just after. 

What do you do for work?  I am a Database Manager - whoo hoo!!!  You can see why I live for my job....


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

I have a pregnyl hcg jab - to be honest not 100% sure what exactly it does, but have read on here that it's a "trigger jab" ??!  Am gonna research it now actually, so will let you know. 

Sounds like I am more or less the same as you - got dx with PCOS a year or so ago after badgering my doc for ages about irregular periods and having been ttc for ages with no joy.  They sent me for HSG (which was clear) and now on 6 months of 100mg clomid (on first cycle like you) plus the pregnyl jab which I have at my scan providing follicle/s are ok.

We worked out that when I fell pg before it must've happened after a VERY drunken night out........and now here I am 8 years later abstaining from everything under the sun hoping for a positive pee stick result  

I'm an office manager, which at the moment is VERY dull.  I've only been here about 18 months and would really like to leave and look for something else but feel a bit trapped now we've started tx as I wouldn't want to lose maternity benefits (pah - I should be so bloody lucky!) .  I want it to work more than anything, but feel as if I am just treading water until it (HOPEFULLY!!) does, stuck in a boring job that I hate !!!!

Thank God for this website and people like you to chat to during the day


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Well, the situation with me is that i went back to the drs last year to get on the NHS road as although I put in my profile that we were ttc for 3+ years, I have been with DH for 14 years this year and never used any contraception!!  We only seriously tried to time it about 3 years before I got a BFP. I too had been out all weekend on the lash, and was just chilling out about the whole baby thing as I was waiting for a follow-up appt at hosp about 6 months after first set of tests.  This time around, I went back to the hosp and they wanted me to have all the tests again, and the follow-up appt would be in Nov 07.....Nov   !!!!  11 months after the last appt.  Well, I went home, phoned up Medisure, who we are covered with through work, and they said that the investigation stuff could be done privately.  Got everything done within a few weeks and they handed out the clomid.  I only get tracking scans on the first cycle, then you are left to your own devices for the next 5 months/cycles. There was no mention of an injection.

The work thing is a tricky one. I hated where I was before and although we were tx, I changed because I couldn't stand it any longer in that place.  I think we just decided that we never knew if the baby thing would happen, I was approaching 32 and it was better for my sanity to be in a job I liked.  Ironically, I ended up on mat leave 8 months after joining my current company!  Suffice to say it didn't go down well but they were supportive and after having 11 months off, I went back part-time on 3 days a week.  I did miss out on the extra maternity money but I reckon it all worked out for the best as I never would have got my part-time hours at my old place - they were stuck in the dark ages.

Obviously hindsight is a wonderful thing but whatever you do just make sure you are happy - I'm sure it helps the old positive vibes etc    .

I have done eff all work today but I think this week I am going to be obsessed with symptom spotting.  I am glad the Clomid has worked and stuff but I think I was better before when I didn't know if I had ov'd let alone have a 2WW. There are quite a few places where you can read up on women who had BFPs and what their symptoms were from the day they ov'd to the day they did the HPT - now read some of those, they will really send you    .


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

I've done bugger all today too !

Have read up on some of the pg symptoms girls have got and am sure I will be convicing myself I've got all of them and more in the next couple of weeks !!  Had worked my days out wrong and I'm on CD20 today, so am into my 2WW too now !

Your situtation sounds very spookily similar to mine - me and DH have been together for about 15 years now (apart from a year off in our 20's!) and haven't used any protection for the past 8 years or so and other than that mc'd pg we've had no joy !  Think that's why I'm finding it very hard to be positive that this (or anything!) will work for us.

Think my poor old DH has got thrush at the mo and although I've got no symptoms at the moment, I guess I must've passed it onto him cos of the pills and jabs!  Poor sod - he's feeling VERY sorry for himself now and while I'm trying to be sympathetic part of me is thinking "oh for god's sake - another bloody set back" - what a cow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

You are not a cow!!!!  I am like that too.  During our BM weekend this month, DH had a stinking cold and was feeling really ill but I still made him perform his duties - I felt really, really bad about that afterwards.

I think when you have such irregular or long cycles, it is very demoralising because you just don't know what your body is doing.  Ovulation kits are a total waste of time for me.  I did buy one of those ovulation microscope things - you spit on them in the morning and wait for it to dry then if you are due to ov, you get a ferning pattern. It sounds gross but they are very clever.  Cost me about £15 or something but cheaper than lots of ov kits in the long run. Have you heard of them?  It did actually work this month, which gave me some hope for the next few months as I am not being scanned again.

Thrush is not pleasant, is it? DH hasn't had it that I know of though - I really hope it clears up for your DH soon and that you don't get any symptoms.  

I am going to try not to stress too much this week, I have decided.  I feel knackered today - I kept waking up last night - I keep having really vivid dreams - it's probably these drugs!

I have been very thirsty on the old clomid though. Have you?


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Glad I'm not the only one thinking that DH should be able to perform on demand!      I hate how regimented it all becomes don't you ?!  He said that it's weird having the tables turned - ie, me badgering HIM for sex constantly  

Never heard of the spitting thing - where did you get it ?  I tried opk's in the past, but never got a positive result and gave up in the before they sent me loopy. 

I'm knackered today too.  I've had some very vivid dreams while on clomid - some have been a bit mental !!

yeah, I've been thirsty too and had some monster headaches!!!!

Oooh,, only 1 hour and 15 till hometime !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

The microscope thing is called OvaTel.  Have a look on the net for it.  It will still make you obsess though  but is a lot cheaper than the sticks.

Let's hope we don't need if after this month though      !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope the rest of the day isn't too boring - I have a headache coming but I think it's because I have been staring at this PC all day!!!  I didn't even have the energy to go out for a walk at lunch, mind you it was raining here in Richmond!


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Been raining here on and off in the City too  

Yes!  Ok, new tactic - let's go for positive thoughts.  We WILL get a BFP


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hello,

Nix - how are you doing, hun? I am due to test this weekend but I know that it hasn't worked this month.  Have all the typical pre-AF signs and I think the stress of the 2ww is playing havoc on my sleep etc.  I keep waking up in the night (about 5 times last night) and have had all sorts of weird tummy aches and pains, which I am putting down to stress....this has probably given me IBS or something   and AF pains -   is definately on her way.  I am not upset, just disappointed.

You think googling 'early pregnancy symptoms' is bad - try '2ww symptom spotting' - you will be on the internet all day reading those  !!!  I am on 11dpo now.  I am hoping that AF shows her head before I waste a test!!!  At least I can get on with the next cycle.  Annoyingly I haven't got scans this time round so I will have to use sticks or my ov microscope!  The nurse said have   from CD16 to CD23 - we are gonna be knackered!!

Feel a bit fed up today but have a half day at work today which eases the misery of work!  Also looking forward to night out with the girls on Friday - we are off to Kingston for a few drinks - haven't done it in ages.  Will no doubt get the dancing bug and end up in the cheesiest, biggest dive in Town where they let the old over 30 girls in!

I am keeping everthing crossed for you this month     
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hey Claire!

Don't give up hope yet hun - I have everything crossed for you that the bloody witch doesn't show up and you get a BFP !!!      Bloody AF symptoms are so similar to PG symptoms - so unfair to mess with out heads like that  

I have woken up this morning with a monster headache  - do you get that on clomid ?  I thought the side effects wouldn't happen once you stopped taking the pills ?

Girls night out sounds great and just what you need!  Nothing like a drunking, boogying night out to make you remember there's morre to like that bloody ttc constantly!!!

I'm still trying to be good on not drinking till I've tested and have a party Saturday night.  Typical !!!

Nix.


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## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi Nix

Sorry I haven't posted 4 a while, been kept busy with our new puppy!!!    She's a nutter, chocolate lab, called fudge!! She's my new baby  

Anyhoo, how r u doing? Hope u r well hun. I've just finished cycle 6, and this cycle has been the worst so far.  My moods have been nutty, down then happy then down again.  Got headache 2day, and tiredness been worse, maybe that's a good sign 4 this cycle?    As the side effects haven't been this bad, I'm taking that as a good sign.

I've been feeling really distant from DH 2 and that is just not me at all, we are normally really close and lovey dovey, but I just don't want him 2 touch me at the mo     Must be the hormones   So, as 4 BMS, that's on the back burner right now til I get my head sorted.

Hope I feel different soon. Going on a good nite out this saturday 2 let me hair down, haven't been out 4 ages, stuff it I'm gonna partttttyyyyyy!!!    

My auntie had a little girl by the way, she has 2 wear a heart monitor all the time and they have alarms in the house as they had a baby boy die from cot death just over a yr ago, he was 8 days old.  
So, as u can imagine, they are on hot bricks constantly. 

Well, must stop rambling on!! Puppy is avin a nap, she's just had her 1st walk yesterday, so I've got her knackered taking her out all the time!! Bless. So I'll go do something while I can.

Speak again

LOL Lilyflowerxxx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hey lillyflower - awww bless your new puppy !!  Sorry to hear you and DH are a bit distant at the moment - I think these bloody pills have a lot to answer for    Really hope that cycle 6 is THE ONE for you and that you get your BFP this time around     I've still got 1 week to go on my 2ww and it's driving me loopy, am over analysing everything while at the same time feeling really negative that it hasn't worked      So sorry to hear about your aunt's baby - why do things like this happen, it's just not fair    Take care and speak again soon.  

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Morning,

Hope all is well and you had a good weekend.

Lilyflower - I hope your aunt's little one is coming on well and getting stronger every day. It must be a worrying time for them.  My DS is now over 2 but if I wake up before him in the morning, I still worry even now!!

Well, I am in a quandry today.....what should I do?  I am now either 15 or 16dpo (I am not sure if I ov'd on Sat or Sun two weeks ago as I was scanned on Friday then Monday and something happened inbetween) and AF not here yet  . 

My (.)(.)s are pretty sore and I have felt a bit queasy on and off.  However......these of course are typical symptoms pre-AF and I have had them so many times before. I did have AF pains last week but nothing over the weekend. I have been very short-tempered and irritable and had no patience with either DS or DH (I am putting this down to PMS!). 

Thing is...I can't remember what I felt like last time I was pg and if I'm honest, I don't think I had any obvious symptoms so that makes me thing AF is on it's way. Last time, I didn't find out until I was 7 weeks as I'm used to such long cycles anyway.  I also read a post on here over the weekend that worried me....someone had said that their tracking showed they had good size follicles but cd40 or thereabouts and no AF or BFN.  The explanation was that you can have follicles but with no egg, and therefore no ovulation.  I wasn't offered a blood test to see if ov had actually occured - I just assumed from the scans it had?  I know the simple answer is to do a hpt but for some crazy reason, I cannot bring myself to do one this month.  I was hoping that AF would just turn up about 2 weeks after ovulation?  The other thing of course is that the time between ov and AF coming could be longer than the standard 2 weeks.  I am currently on CD36.

Sorry to offload on a Monday morning - I think there is such a thing as being too informed - I am going   .

Clairex


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Claire - Morning hun!

I take it you haven't tested yet ??  If not, I would probably do a test just to see      The main thing I remember from before was MEGA painful, heavy boobs and tiredness, so all sounds quite positive!

I'm really quite rubbish at all this I'm afraid, so not much good at the technical stuff!  I only just found out about the whole empty follicle thing recently too - there I was thinking I'd done well with my 20mm folly and now realised that it might have been empty!!  I don't have bloods done either and didnt use OPK's so it's all a bit guesswork isn't it ?!  My cons told me on CD13 that I should have BMS on CD13, 14, 15 so I am guessing that they reckon that's when I would ov (maybe cos of the Pregnyl HCG jab ) and then do a test on 5 May which is about CD31 isn't it ?

Right, well, I've rambled on but not been much help have I ?!  

I guess I would do a test to see and if still no AF in a few days, do another one!  I hate this part - I have quite long cycles too and always put off a HPT for as long as possible cos I can't bear seeing that bloody single line  

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hiya,

I know I should do a test but I still feel like it's an inevitable outcome! I think my DH will send me to the Loony Bin soon  . I am going to buy some at lunchtime but wait until tomorrow morning.  Gives   another chance to appear!  I think it's because I have had these symptoms so many times that I just cannot believe it can be anything positive.  I am doing that crazy knicker checking thing now.  If anything, I just want to get on with the next cycle of Clomid...so much for having shorter cycles, huh?? 

Anyway, I am crossing everything for you for Sat and hope this week doesn't drag it's feet!       Hope you don't go too mad symptom spotting like I have.  

Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Claire - I SOOOOOOOO hope it's a BFP for you tomorrow morning.  Will be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed    

I'm symptom checking crazy already    All the little niggles I thought I had have vanished now though, so I reckon it'll be a negative for me this month too! 

  DH caught me poking my boobs this morning to see if they were sore at all - think I now thinks I've completely lost the plot !!!

If AF hasn't arrived, I don't know whether I will test Saturday - would be quite a short cycle for me so wouldn't normally test that early !  Oh who knows - its a right head-messer (to put it politely!) all this !!!!

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Your reply made me giggle re: boobs!!!!  Mine always get a bit extra veiney too pre-AF and so I can't go past a mirror in the house without seeing if they are any more so than normal!  I have almost been caught out doing it in the work loos too!  How sad is that!!!!!!!!!  It is truly the behaviour of a mad woman at best.

Got two long meetings today so hopefully that is a chance to take my mind off things.   

Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

What with boob poking, knicker checking and investigating the loo roll after wiping (tmi!) regularly my day is almost full reallly !!    

What fun this ttc is !!!!!!!!


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hi Nix - well it was BFN which I am not suprised about but I am still disappointed.  Guess it's onto the next cycle so just want AF to turn up asap now!!!  I'm now on CD37, which seems quite long considering I'm on Clomid. Annoying really - I reckon I didn't actually ovulate perhaps?

I am of the mind to have a natural cycle and then try clomid again.  I shall see when AF turns up.

Here is lots of        
for you.  I had lots of pg-type symptoms in the last few days but I think the Clomid may have heightened the normal pre-AF symptoms!  I don't know.  Feel very   today about everything.

Clairex


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

So sorry hun    Hope if the bloody witch is gonna show, that she does soon so you can move on..  

Feeling a bit crap today.  Got cramps on and off, headache and feeling a bit sick - can't want to go home and lay on the sofa.  Am trying to stay    but I just want to know now - this waiting is doing my head in  

I know what you mean about having a month off.  It's just so stressful isn't it ?!  

Is CD37 very long for you hun ?  Apparently the clomid can effect your cycle length.........just another thing to send us  

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Sorry you are feeling rough - make sure you just go home and put your feet up  !!!!!  I hope it is all good signs that something positive is happening for you   . I had almost convinced myself yesterday that there was some hope due to how my body was feeling but alas no!  I even felt really sick this morning and thought I wasn't going to make it all the way through my bowl of granola!!!

My cycles are anywhere from 34 to 50 days but mostly around 40-47 days.  So, 37 days is not really that long but I got the impression from my Cons that they would be shorter, so I just don't know really. Apart from a couple of cramps, which I usually get throughout my cycle, I don't feel like I am due on any minute  .  

I am going home dead on 5 and going to have a big glass of wine  !!  And enjoy a nice evening with DH that does not involve me thinking about the possibility of being pg!!  He told me not to do a test but I had to as I was going bonkers wondering.  I will be online later so I will make sure that you are resting up!  

Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi Claire,

Well, as instructed I rested up........got home, got my PJ's on, DH ordered a curry and now..........I'm bored!  Never happy me  

Feel perfectly normal again now too  

How was that large glass of wine ?  I would kill for one at the moment, but trying to steer clear till I test (yawwwwwwwwwn!!) 

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hi there chick,

Glad you are feeling better.  I have just finished doing the ironing...whoo hoo and am now finishing my glass of red!  Am fed up with DH dominating the telly downstairs with football over the last 2 weeks   so I came upstairs and watched that prog on Ch4 about how to look good naked!  It was really good actually.  Don't think I'm brave enough to bare all to the world though! 

I am still feeling very all over the place.  I have found that I have had very bad PMS this month - really irritable and tearful at the slightest thing  .  I def think that the drugs have exaggerated all the usual pre-AF stuff.

Well done staying off the booze - it is really the right thing to do but I have to say I only really cut down rather than cut out!

Are you doing anything nice for bank hols weekend?  We have a bbq at a friends and then out for the day with the family for my Mums birthday on the Monday.  

Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

My DH is downstairs glued to the football too  

 - it's just not fair is it!  This seems to be the worst thing about the clomid - not only does it mess with your head, but it seems to give you symptoms that make you feel PG   

God, don't think the world is ready for me to bare all !!!!!  

I've had the odd glass of wine when I've been out, but normally I'd have a couple of glasses each night while cooking and eating !!

Not got much planned this weekend.  Think we're gonna be Mr & Mrs Middle-Aged and do the garden -    How sad !!!!!!  My DH works most Saturdays so it'll be nice to have 2 days off together. 

Still got these bloody niggly pains in my belly - did you get that ??

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

I have had pains more than niggles and they have been on the left hand side low down. The last day or two have been worse but they are not like AF pains - more like ov pains?  I have had not quite an upset tummy but lots of gurgles and feelings of being really uncomfortable/bloated/full up.  I have also been weeing loads!  Sorry, TMI, but it's not like me but I have been thirsty in the last 2 weeks, so perhaps it's just drinking lots of water.  Like, today, I went to the loo 4 times between 9am and 12pm at work!!!

It has been a weird couple of weeks - I kind of think that maybe it's all a bit psychological or something .

Now that I have tested today, I honestly know I am not pg but I still have lots of weird things going on like forcing myself to eat dinner even though I felt nauseous all the way through - and I usually LOVE my food.

Very frustrating all this .  I need a


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Sounds exactly like me at the moment and it is seriously driving me  

Right, well, DH keeps hollering up the stairs that penalties or something equally as dull are on, so gonna go down to shut him up (bloody football    )

Chat tomorrow - hope you feeling a bit better hun 

Night!

Nix.


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Morning,

I feel totally normal today with the exception of a headache  , so I am now just hoping the   will show up asap so I get on with things!

Got a busy morning here, then off to an exhibition this afternoon at Earls Court so won't have much time to chat.

Hope you have a good day and don't get too stressed thinking about it all .  Keep   

Speak soon
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Morning hun,

Feeling crap today.  Woke up with quite bad AF belly aches and now got lower back ache too.  Feeling very low today  

Sorry for the negative post.

Glad you feeling a bit better hun  

Chat soon,

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hi there,

Sorry you are feeling low  .  This whole ttc thing just plays with every emotion, doesn't it?  It's not over for you yet this cycle, so try and stay really positive. I know that can be hard in itself.

I will go online tonight to see how you are bearing up.
Cx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hi Claire,

Well after a couple of days of wallowing    and the early AF from hell (cos of the clomid do you think ) I'm back, it's CD2 and I'm thinking positive..............or trying to anyway  

How's you hun ?  Has AF showed yet 

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hello luv,

Well AF still not bloody here!!!  This feels like the AFs pre-clomid where I am just waiting and waiting for her to show up.  Had 2 friends round for lunch with their kids and one friend has PCOS and is trying to just go with acupuncture this time (she took Clomid and had acupuncture for #1, as she has PCOS)  Her AF is late too this month (hers is like clockwork and I keep telling her to test but she says, like me she doesn't feel pg, so what is the point, AF will come at some point).  I got the BFN on Tues and can't believe there is any mileage in wasting another clearblue test which is expensive!!!

I spoke to my friend about the fact that you can have a follicle with no egg but she reckons the hosp can tell if the folly is eggless??  I don't really understand but maybe AF will come in the next day or so.  I don't have any pg symptoms or really AF ones now, except the odd pain bottom left or right of my tummy.  Obviously gonna be another 50+ day cycle.

Anyway, enough of my woes.  I am glad you are feeling better, hun.  I had a weepy day on Wed when I realised it hadn't worked this month.  Have to say DH was very good but I think he is a bit disappointed too, although he doesn't show it.  I think it's better to get it all out and then start preparing for the next cycle.  I am too looking at acupuncture as it seems so successful for PCOS ladies.

I am crossing everthing for you for this cycle.  
Clairexxx


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## Rosie P (Nov 10, 2005)

Hi girls. Sorry to gatecrash your thread. I had acupuncture and I found that when I was twiddling my thumbs waiting for AF to come, it would a day or couple of days after acupuncture. Also when ov was being a b*gger and not happening or taking it's time, it tended to happen again a day or day after an acupuncture session. Maybe coincidence but it also really helped with my nightmarish painful and heavy AFs too. I think after a few months of doing it it regulated my cycles somewhat, as Clomid alone really didn't. You just need to make sure you get a registered one and preferably one with experience of women with IF issues.
Sorry to gatecrash but I though you might find this useful.

Good luck ladies.  

Rosie. xxx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Thanks Rosie - I've got details of a few acu's near me, so am hoping to give it a go this cyle.  How many times did you have it done per month ??

Nix.


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hey Claire,

You must be going crazy waiting for AF to show (are you SURE there's no point in doing another test ??!).

I was chatting with DH last night and we agreed that, although I took it hard this month, I think I would've found it harder to get to Saturday, test and get a negative and then have to wait for AF to show to get on with next cycle, so you really have my sympathies hun - I know what it's like to just be waiting and wondering 

I've read on here about girls who take medication to bring on their AF - do you use this ?  

As I just said to Rosie, I'm gonna give acu a go this cycle too - the more help the better I reckon !!

Well, I'm feeling much more like me again today (taking a couple of sick days off work helped I reckon    ) and me and DH are gonna go out tonight and as there is zero chance of me being or getting PG I'm gonna have a drink, let my hair down and have a good night......reckon we both need one !!

Speak soon,

Nix.


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Hi there,

Thanks for the acu info Rosie - that is helpful to know.

AF STILL NOT HERE YET!!!!!!!!  I did another HPT on Sat and BFN again. I am now on cd43!!!!  I had shorter cycles before Clomid.  What is going on?  Particularly as I supposedly ovulated this month?  I am going to make an appt to see my cons this week (private, so although got to pay, should get to see her).  I just don't understand what is going on.  I am get AF pains again today but she is nowhere in sight .

I am a bit worried about taking next cycle of Clomid should AF show before I get to speak to consultant as I am now wondering if the scans were accurate and Clomid has made me ovulate this month.  I wonder if 100mg didn't actually work.  I know that I also had a good thick lining, so that must be waiting to show itself at some point  I am going totally crazy and have had PMS for nearly 2 weeks.  I actually said to DH that I wish I had got AF within the 2WW now rather than be in limbo.  Grrrrrr.

I took something to bring on AF before I had this first lot of Clomid because I was too impatient to wait but I do actually get AF even if long cycles, so I have never used anything before.  I think I am going to stick it out and hopefully Mother Nature will kick in at some point and it will rear it's head.  I think the longest I have gone is 56 days, so I will give it until then.

Hope you had a really good bank holiday weekend and glad you are feel positive for this month. Sending you lots of      .

Cxx


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## Nix76 (Aug 2, 2006)

Hey Claire,

 - must be a nightmare for you at the moment hun!  Has it showed yet ??

Have you got your appointment to see your cons - when you going ??

I take my last lot of pills tonight and have to go for my scan next Monday.  Gonna try and stay positive this month, but try not to get too obsessed     Have not had any of the same side effects this month as last month except for night sweats.  Have got the insomnia this time though and I can't stand it - think I was still laying there wide awake at 4am this morning - bloody knackered now !

Nix


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## clairead (Mar 21, 2007)

Morning my dear,

Just made an appt with consultant (another £100 odd!) to ask what could have happened, I am going to ask for a 7dpo blood test next cycle and another round of scans as I am now not satisfied that I ovulated properly!!  Still no sign of   but now have terrible pains like ov pains - bit of the old ewcm again too so I am going to get DH on the case as I wonder if I somehow have skipped the AF part I have really bloated tummy too.  I am sleeping like a baby at night though! I am going totally  .

My appt is Friday afternoon.  Could have gone to tomorrow but didn't want to take any more time off work as I am leaving in half hour!  It's my mum's birthday and my sister and I are taking her to Claridges for afternoon tea!  We are going to do a bit of shopping up in Oxford Street first (well, she is, I have no money!).

I was lucky and only had a little insomia with the pills this time and only one day of hot flushes.  Maybe your body gets used to the tablets as time goes on?  Here's crossing everything for your scan next week.

I will catch up with you tomorrow, chick.  Have a good day.
Cx


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