# what to do ??????????????



## lelly (Aug 31, 2006)

Hi everyone its so wonderfull reading through all the messages and topics and there are truely angels in this world
My name is Lelly and im 41 having suffered with PID endomitrio, ecptopic pregnancy. 9 major operations all to do with gynae and two eptopic and miscarriages 2 failed ivf attempts over 18 years BUT then facing total hysterectory got a third attempt in quick  and WOW i have a son Isaac he is now five years old  He is wonderfull and I am so Blessed... I did end up having to have the hysterectomy but both My Partner, Isaac and I would love to have another one and we have been looking at IVF surrogancy we were refered to Boune hall but they wont accept me because I am over 35 !! so I have been looking abroad but it all seems so complicated as I will need a donor egg and a surrogate mother the expense in america appears a fortune which I know you cant not put a price on such a gift but unfortunately out of our reach. We are now looking at traditional surrogancy but just dont know where to start please does anyone out there have any advise for us we would love to hear from you and if I can be of help to anyone going through the pain of loss and Ivf treatment then please feel free to contact me I would be honoured to give you support
God bless you all x


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## Danuna (Apr 27, 2005)

Hiya Lelly

I would advise you to join either Surrogacy UK (I'm with them) or COTS.  Have a look at the Surrogacy UK website and maybe join their message board - you can join the message board even if you are not a member.


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## Jaq (Sep 23, 2003)

Hi Lelly and welcome to the surrogacy section  
I was surprised as I read your story and got to the bit where you said BUT and then WOW - so after all that you got your son, brilliant!! That brought a big smile to my face.
You are obviously very grateful to have Isaac, but I can understand the deep desire to have a sibling for him (and so do many surros, so do not worry that they would all want to help a childless couple rather than you). However, I do know how difficult it is to arrange for an egg donor and a surrogate (our IVF clinic suggested that when we were told not to try any more ivf ourselves so we looked into it). We decided to go straight and are now waiting for the best Christmas present ever  
It is illegal to advertise for a surrogate in this country, but there are websites based in the USA where British surros and IPs chat and reply to or even place adverts. There are also groups of "independant" surrogates in the UK but it is generally a case of getting to know people who know other people, etc. and then chatting and getting to know each other and hoping someone will offer to help you. The usual path for most hopeful couples (IPs) is however, as Danuna has said -  to join COTS or SUK. The first step would be to visit their websites, download all the info on surrogacy and ask questions on their message boards (the public bits).

Good luck!!!

best wishes
Jaq


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Lelly,
Just to echo what Danuna has said, the best thing to do is join a surrogacy organisation.
I can thoroughly recommend SUK www.surrogacyuk.org We are members there and met our straight surrogate through them  Our baby is due on October 20th   They have regular mini get togethers up and down the country, which are just social events, so you can get to know people, as well as 3 main GT's a year where they have work shops on all aspects of surrogacy.
The whole organisation is built around a frioendship first way of working, and everyone is very friendly.
As jaq said there are surrogates who do work with couples who already have a child, so although you may not meet the right person straight away, there is still hope.
Good Luck
EJJB
  x


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