# I'm so confused and frustrated!!!



## wishingangel22 (Mar 19, 2007)

well where do i start. the last 2 months ive had blood tests to see if i ov after being on depo for 3 yrs. my last injection was due sept 2005 which the dr was aware of. i was told if i didnt ov again this month he would refer me and give me clomid. so my hopes were extremely high today when i went for the results. my hormones are fine again, but it showed i didnt ov like predicted. the dr was just making me an appt through the system when he noticed in my notes when i stopped the depo injection. he then suddenly changed his mind and has decided he isnt going to help me until sept 2007 when i have been ttc for 2 yrs on record. i dont know what to do or how i feel. apart from wanting to burst into tears and feeling very depressed. i had my hopes set on catching within the next 6 months with the help of drugs. now what do i do? theres no way i will ov before then as i have not ov'ed for over 4 yrs. im so confused, my heads all over the place. i dont think i can cope with all this heart ache. i really need some advice and where to go from here as i feel lost and confused. sorry for the moan. just need some help on this one xxxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi hun

I'm sorry to hear your appt didnt go well...and I can understand how upsetting and frustrating it all is. 

As I mentioned in a couple of other posts, I was surprised your consultant was testing your progesterone on the days he was ie only a couple of days past ovulation, as these wouldn't indicate whether you'd ovulated or not...so it could be that you are ovulating but you've been tested on the wrong days.  Also, the depo injection can suppress your ovaries so much that it takes several months for your ovaries to reawaken so some consultants wouldn't classify you as actively ttc until the depo was completely out of your system...so in theory he could be saying you've been ttc for about 1 year (if that makes sense) and because you're young, perhaps he wants to give your body a chance to adjust and have regular cycles before he starts you on the rocky road of fertility treatment...and it can sometimes take a perfectly healthy couple a year, sometimes up to 2 years, to conceive...this is why many GPs will not refer someone for fertility until at least a year of ttc (we'd been ttc for about 18mths before referal & I had known problems effecting my fertility and was 34 when we started !!)  Just my thoughts and obviously I'm not medically qualified, just trying to see a reason to why he's saying this to you.

Perhaps you could have a couple of monitored cycles where they check your progesterone levels at different times through cycle and/or have some scans to see if there are any follicles around ovulation.  Having your progesterone tested at correct time would be a start....

Take care and good luck...
Natasha


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## Toni..... (Apr 25, 2006)

Hi there

I know this is no consolation but I was the same as you.  If you look at my profile you will see that i haven't been on any contraception for 4 years but only trying seriously for 2 years.  the reason is because i came off of the depo injection and wasn't ovulating at all for the first two years.  My doctor would not refer me until he thought an adequate time had passed for the depo to leave my system. So Minxy is right in what she is saying.  i know its frustrating and I could have cried everytime i walked out of my doctors dissappointed. I wanted a child so much and yet i had no option to making it happen apart from waiting until my doctor thought that enough time had lapsed and the worse bit for me was knowing i was the one that had decided to put that crap in my body.  i really do think that they don't tell you enough about the injection, had i have known it would have had such extreme consequences then I wouldn't have had it.  
Sorry for your news the time will pass pretty quickly though and although it took a hell of a long time, my body did eventually go back to normal and i did start ovulating naturally, so there is hope. 

I would take Minxy's advise about the bloods, she is great and seems to know more than most about IF. 

Toni
xxxxxx


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## wishingangel22 (Mar 19, 2007)

thank you. i have found an online store that sells clomid. and i really cannot wait 6 more months. if i buy 10 tablets. and take 5 one month then miss a month then take another 5 it will probably kick start my ovulation.. but the doctor will not know and i wont be having scans or tests to see if it is successful. when would i need to take them? is it cd5 to cd10? and also are there any risks of taking this without dr's guidance? xxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

wishingangel22 said:


> thank you. i have found an online store that sells clomid. and i really cannot wait 6 more months. if i buy 10 tablets. and take 5 one month then miss a month then take another 5 it will probably kick start my ovulation.. but the doctor will not know and i wont be having scans or tests to see if it is successful. when would i need to take them? is it cd5 to cd10? and also are there any risks of taking this without dr's guidance? xxx


I appreciate how upset and frustrated you must be feeling but personally I think this is very very unwise and sorry for saying it, but irresponsible...apologies if thats not what you want to hear.

Clomid is a very potent fertility drug and should *never* be taken without the knowledge and guidance of your GP/consultant. There are risks involved, such as over-stimulating - OHSS - which can be extremely harmful to you if not treated, multiple pregnancy (which is risk to you and any possible babies) & many other side effects.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh but I really don't think its a good idea for you to be self medicating...you won't know the correct days to take it (which do vary), you won't have any scans or blood tests, you wouldn't know if it was working or not..and importantly, you won't know what dose to take...you could take one thats way too high for you etc etc. If you suffered bad side effects who would you speak to on a professional level if your GP is unaware ?

Your GP is medically qualified and obviously has very good reasons for not wanting to prescribe you clomid...you don't even know if you actually need it yet as the depo has suppressed everything for quite a while...you need to allow your body to find its own natural cycles and not start taking fertility drugs that you have no idea about...

There is also the very real risk that what you purchase on the internet is not the real stuff...how would you know that what you were taking was actually clomid...many of these on-line "pharamcies" are unlicensed !

http://www.drugstory.org/feature/mailorderdanger.asp

Fertility drugs are not something to play around with & we would not be responsible ourselves if we advised you any other way or helped you to take them....I think you have to trust your GPs professional and qualified judgement....but why not ask him if you can have some cycle monitoring as I suggested...
*OR* how about speaking with a qualified herbalist who may be able to prescribe you some herbs which will sort out your hormone levels and cycles, what about acupuncture and/or reflexology ? There are other options available to you to be helping you over the next 6mths before your GP will refer you....

I'm not saying these things to scaremonger but trying to be realistic....I would urge you to seriously reconsider self medicating as its just not a good idea.

Please please take care...

Natasha

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