# Terrible day!!



## kerryh (Apr 15, 2014)

Terrible day........where to even start

We had an ectopic pregnancy treated with 2 (well one and a half) doses of methotrexate in May. I've been pretty ill since then, continuous infections. The last of which with two weeks of abscesses in my mouth, which sent me crazy with pain and resulted in the eventual pulling out of one of my teeth as four doses on antibiotics never even touched it. It's caused huge strain at work as I have a job with a lot of responsibility and have been having to play catch up and then have more time off with each infection. We have a strange but lovely family set up. Our neighbour M is like my husbands sister as they have lived next to each other for so long and she is a single mum. We all adore her daughter B who is 8 and my hubby is like a father to her. She is the most wonderful source of joy to us all and we are such a strong family unit, however M has been ill recently and now the docs think it's MS now, it's been a huge strain on us all while she's been so ill and little B has been so upset by me and her mum being ill. 

Finally last week things improved healthwise for me and i'm actually feeling better. Then the dog got ill very suddenly with heart and lung failure and we had to have her put down a week ago. It's just the icing on the cake really. We've taken it very badly, it's like an accumulation of terrible things. All throughout the ectopic when I was ill she was there by my side and now I feel utterly lost without her. I'm furious at her for leaving us all, I know that sounds daft but I can't believe she's gone. She and B are really the only things that have gotten us through the last 6 months. 

To make a bad week even worse, my mother, who I haven't seen for 8 months (we don't get on). Decided to fly in on her broomstick this morning and take me out for lunch. Taking me out for lunch consisted on the usual passive aggressive remarks and insults - How unfair it seems that my brother struggles for money (he's a teacher, he does just fine but thinks the world owes him a 10 bed house) when I will be mortgage free in a few years and earn a very good wage. Ummmm hello I worked my ass off for all these things as did my DH. How sad it was for her to go to my cousins wedding, knowing she'll never be mother of the bride. We had a very small wedding, not what she wanted, and she was divorcing my father at the time, which never actually happened, and so couldn't come because she couldn't cope with my happiness when she was so unhappy. Again not my fault really. The only real compliment, which was backhanded, was how many lovely dresses I had, which of course look much better as i'm not so fat now!!!! and by fat she means I was a size 12 and now i'm more of a size 10. 

But the real crowning jewel in the whole day was when I was telling her of our holiday plans for next year. She thinks it good we take lots of holidays as it's something to do because, and I quote, 'you are not going to have family'. I explained that DH was my family and so were M & B and she said 'you know, a real family'. I'm so angry. It's was bad enough that our dog has just died but then this witch flies in and tells me basically that our love for precious B doesn't mean anything because she isn't our flesh and blood. Not to mention that she thinks i'm barren. I'm so angry, it's pushed me right over the edge. The only good thing is at least I don't have to see her again for 6 months or so. I mean why does she bother even turning up if she can't be civil. 

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get it all out. Feeling crap about not being able to replace the dog with a baby for my DH. Wishing I was still pregnant as i'm sure this would all be so much better with something to look forward to. Dreading Xmas when my due date would have been, no baby and not dog. It just sucks!!


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## DaughterofLilith (Apr 4, 2005)

So sorry to hear about your day from hell and the past eighteen months don't seem to have been much better for you.  It must have been awful losing your babies and your dear loyal dog.  It's little comfort, I know, but consider this:

1.  You have survived so far
2.  You will never have to go through today again


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

Hi I read your post and didn't want to read and run. Firstly I think it's lovely how close you are to your neighbour just shows that there are nice people in the world still. Secondly I had a ectopic 4 years ago and both tubes removed so I understand how devastating it is. My mum has Ms she was diagnosed 10 years ago after suffering what seemed like a stroke. She had a lumber puncture injection which gave her the diagnosis. She's still going strong there are different types of Me and my mum's as not yet progressed and doctors says sometimes it doesn't progress so my advice to her would be to see a gyno asap and get her diagnosis and she will be given a Me nurse who answers all questions and is there on call for you 24 7 my mum sometimes gets swollen feet and problems with her hearing. She's also very snappy at times which can be caused my ms but that's my mum in general anyway there's times we don't get on either. 
As for your pooch I'm so sorry for your loss we had a dog of my partners brother he was ill as a puppy and he was treated my partners brother and then seemed very healthy but stopped eating and lost alot of weight after taking him to the vets they said his kidneys and heart were failing and it's putting pressure on other orgins and there's nothing we or the vet could do he was just a very poorley dog, we tried everything with him but he never got better so had to have him out down which was devastating. 
With us it seemed like one thing after another but I still surived today and so did you!   I really hope your luck changes xx


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## kerryh (Apr 15, 2014)

Thanks for your replies ladies. It means a lot! And yes I did survive the day and i'm hoping there won't be a day to compete with it for a while. 

Tinkerbell i'm sorry to hear about your Mum's MS and your ectopics. You're right it is devastating and it's leaves a scary uncertainty about the future. As for MS it is a really tough illness. Our neighbour has her lumbar puncture soon. She had to see a private consultant to get up the list as she was going to have to wait 18 weeks for an initial appointment. She has an electrical implant that makes an MRI impossible which is why the diagnosis is taking so long. I'm sure you'll know how hard it is to watch it and to live with it. Some days things seem ok and then the next she's so ill she has to go to bed for a week. It's heart breaking to watch. Hopefully like you say, there is good care available and we can start to manage it better is she does have MS. To be honest she's been ill for 8 months with no let up so when they said MS she was grateful to have any kind of diagnosis. At the moment she's on 8 different kinds of meds and they are taking their toll. Not to mention so of them would make MS worse, if it is that she has. I hope your mum is ok, i'm sure you're are a huge support to her! 

Poor B is convinced one of us is going die. She keeps asking if mum will die, why did my baby die, what would happen to her if mum died. It's awful. Now her dogs died and she's crying every day. She's only 8 and it seems so much for somebody so small to be coping with. She's always been a worrier though. When I was sleep walking she investigated everything she could about it on her ipad and then demanded that we made sure my husband hid the car keys, the knives, locked the doors and took every safety precaution. I guess it's just what she's like bless her, she's a very loving and caring child. The school have arranged for her to see a sort of counsellor for a few hours a week. Hopefully that's a safe place where she can talk about her concerns about her mum.

Just when I thought my mother was the most unwelcome visitor my husbands ex wife turns up yesterday! They've been divorced for 6 years now and I've only met her once when I was just friends with DH. When he ended their marriage she took it very badly and for two years afterwards turned up at the house, sent unwelcome cards full of nasty remarks. Then she moved away and he's had no contact with her since. I suggested that as the dog was old and she hadn't seen her for four years maybe we should invite her to come and see her or take her for the day. My husband was reluctant so I left that alone. But when the dog died I said to my husband that I thought he really should email her and tell her as the dog was a big part of her life too, even if she had not wanted anything to do with her since the divorce. Well huge mistake on my part. The email back was polite but full of passive aggressive remarks about him loving the dog more than her, how awful it had been for her not to see the dog and the fact she knew he'd got married again to me. It seemed there was no where more to go with it after that but yesterday she felt the need to travel 2 hours to hand deliver a condolence card and some chocolate. The content of the card was all references to 'their dog' or 'her dog' and quotes from their marriage. It was all aimed at upsetting and rattling me i'm sure of it, everything from the hand delivery to the favourite chocolate. She probably doesn't realise that I saw the emails or that I was the one brought them about. My DH just laughed and said that it's all my fault, which of course it is. If she keeps any more of it up then i'll have to very nicely tell her to leave us alone and explain that I was the one that wanted her informed of what happened. That'll teach me for trying to fair and nice! 

I hope things look up for us all Ladies! x x x x x


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