# What next????



## sazz (Jun 1, 2005)

Hi everyone-it's been a couple of months since I last posted (during ICSI which turned out to be BFN )I have been feeling a bit down and confused as to what to do next (have just turned 41)......
Glad to see some BFPs in the Goldies and comiserations for anyone with BFNs. Dr says to try (ICSI) again-but not sure whether I have to strength to deal with it if I fail again.....
Sorry for the negative "Me" post.....
Sazz


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## ♥Meerkat♥ (Nov 14, 2005)

Hi Sazz

Sorry to hear about your BFN

I know its not easy to pick yourself up again after a disappointment like that.
Just wanted to send you some hugs and positive vibes.  Apart from the ICSI, not really sure what else has happened on your journey so far but I would say that at 41 there's still time yet once you feel strong enough again.
  
Take care of yourself hun

Meerkat x


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Hi Sazz
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been feeling like that since my 2nd BFN last October (during which I turned 41   ). I have decided to do a third and final ICSI, mainly because I am not ready to give up, but I am taking my time and preparing myself, physically and mentally. It has taken me months to move on. I rushed into my 2nd round of ICSI and very much regret that. I am having acupuncture, which is helping with my cycle and with my emotional health.  

What has also helped a great deal is, that I went away this weekend on a retreat and "chilled". The weekend consisted of alternative therapies and classes, vegetarian healthy food and walks and nothing much inbetween (no TV). It was fab ! It helped that I went with a good friend, who is also on the IF journey.

Don't rush into anything and allow yourself to grieve for your losses. Maybe even consider some counselling.

Take care

Lx


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## sazz (Jun 1, 2005)

Thnx Lorri and Meerkat-it's just so good to chat again. I've been keeping it to myself (DH is avoiding the issue after the BFN altho' I know he is upset too) Meerkat, we hve been trying since I was 39 when we "suddenly" realised that maybe we did want kids and perhaps we shld hurry up. Hve had Clomid (6mths), 2 IUIs with Menogon and the ICSI.Isn't it crazy how you never imagine it could be you who can't have kids??
All those things that NEVER bothered me like pregnant friends and friends with babies are now making me feel ultra sensitive-and the more I try, the more of a failure I feel. As the consultant so tactfully put it, I should have started earlier.....!!!!
Think I will go for one more ICSI (financially, it's really straining us), but as you said, think I need a bit more time to get into the whole tx mentality again. 
Thnx again and take care
Sazz


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