# Finding a surrogate



## Hopeful Mum (Aug 11, 2014)

Hi. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband and I were due to start our surrogacy journey next month. My cousin had offered to be our surrogate-we'd completed councilling. Had a surrogacy agreement however at the last moment she told us she couldn't proceed. We are now having to freeze embryos as my AMH is very low. I am only 31 but at the age of 27 I had treatment for cervical cancer which included a radical hysterectomy. We are looking into COTS and Surrogacy UK and are unsure which organisation would suit us best. We are looking for a host surrogate.  I'd be interested in any of your experiences? Also, I'm I right in thinking that this is going to be a long process?


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

About as long as a piece of string I'm afraid.
Seriously some people will meet their surrogate in a matter of weeks, others will take 2-3 years  and of course there's no guarantee things will work out with that surrogate so I've known journeys of up to 4 years.
My experience is with SUK. We had our daughter through straight surrogacy 8 years ago and it took us 2.5 years to meet the surrogate we finally teamed up with.
However after we met her things moved pretty quickly and our daughter was born 14 months later.
SUk insist on a minimum of three months getting to know each other and that is because it's important to build a strong relationship as surrogacy can be a stressful business. SUK hopes  that these relationships will endure through the years. We are still in touch with our surrogate and have met and become friends with lots of others who have done or are doing surrogacy. SUK is a community so if that feel suits you pop over to the message boards and say hello.
Love 
EJJB
x


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## Katie88 (Feb 7, 2013)

Hi  

I met my ips independently.. we didnt use an agency. 

From the very first message we exchanged, to them taking home their 2 babies was just 1year and 3days   

Feel free to PM me if you want

xx


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

I've been chatting to some potential surrogates online  so independently not agency.
Still looking though xx


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## Anny1970 (Mar 6, 2015)

Hi there!!! You know we started our surrogacy program last year. Our surrogate is on the 12th week of pregnancy. She feels great))) The child is completely healthy. The way of choosing the surrogate differs in the clinic we`ve chosen. Firstly we thought that we would choose the surrogate mother. We thought we will have the some meetings before starting all the procedures. But it turned out that we were 100% wrong. The clinic choses the surrogate mother for us. Our coordinator explained that our personal attitude to her doesn`t play any role. The most important is her health condition. Not only physical but mental as well. Moreover the child will not be even genetically related to the surrogate. According to the Ukrainian law the surrogate must have at least one healthy child. Firstly we were confused. Moreover our coordinator explained us that we will be able to meet with the surrogate only on the 12th week of pregnancy during the ultrasound check. Being honest this information confused us a lot. But later we understood that this approach is the best. I`m sure that the doctors are the experts. It is their responsibility to check the health condition of the lady who is going to carry a child for the couple. Moreover the doctors check genetics of the surrogate. We`ve already had a meeting with our surrogate. I`m sure we did the right choice when we let the doctors choose the surrogate. The pregnancy flows without any problems. Our baby feels great))) So different clinics have different approaches. It`s up to you to choose the clinic. But you must be ready that their method may differ a lot from the one you imagine.


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