# It really is over....



## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Well, after a few years of looking at this thread I now know I finally belong.  I fit into a group.

I am waiting for dh to wake this morning to tell him the news our tx hasn't officially worked.  He must know deep down and hey after 10 lots, it will be no big surprise, but the realisation that it's over is going to be hard.  A morning of no doubt many tears..... mainly mine.  I

I think I feel relief.  I know af is still to come and it will be a painful one, the final insult I always say.  I am not putting myself through this any more.  I can't compromise our lives any more and have to make a new life for us.  I have no idea what that looks like, or how it will feel but something needs to give.  I think I am numb, and on autopilot.

I cannot believe that we have got to this point, that it happened to us, it happens to other people right? And if people say oh try once more, or it happened to me, keep going, or have you done this that and the other.  I think 10 goes might be consider a good effort.  I know people mean well.

How did you start to tell family and friends about your loss/infertility? We haven't really told anyone, but I am guessing we should now.  I am fed up on my inlaws thinking I am all about my career, their poor son and that I am always sooooo busy etc time for a reality check.  I am a relatively private person and hate the fact that I now have to admit defeat.  

I don't really know what I am saying or what I want, but I guess writing it down is the start of the next journey and the realisation that ours has ended, my life plan no more.

Thanks for listening xx


----------



## Faith2011 (Jan 7, 2010)

Jensw. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It is such a tough journey and each time you think, maybe this is it.

I hope the conversation with your DH went well. 

Sending you a massive virtual hug. x


----------



## Fx (Feb 28, 2012)

Jensw, I don't know what to say except I am so sorry. It resonated with me when you said that you can't believe it has happened to you. That feeling is awful, the realisation that you are the example that everyone talks about when they talk about how awful infertility can be. It is so hard, and I'm sorry that it is happening to you and the other women on here.
You have certainly given it your all, no one can say you didn't try hard enough.
I have total respect for you that you feel you can not compromise your life anymore. You are being very brave and it sounds like you are doing the right thing for you at this point.
In terms of explaining it, perhaps you could ask your DH to explain the journey you have been on to his parents, that way you don't have to bare your soul to them directly but you can then feel reassured that they will not be thinking you sacrificed a family for a career, but in fact you have done nothing but try for a family.

I hope things seem brighter for you in a while, but for now sending you a hug. Xx


----------

