# Sleeping advise needed for 12 month old



## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

I was wondering if anybody could give any advice you want to get my son to sleep through the night, he was placed with us at eight months, and had slept through at the FCs. Understandably he was unsettled when placed and didn't immediately sleep through. In the last four months we has a few nights of sleeping through, and a lot of the time he would only be awake for a short while and shushing would settle him. Since a bad fever a few weeks ago he was in with me, I now can't get him to settle in his cot at all. He wakes up wailing and in the last few weeks has got progressively worse I end up having to take him out of his room, try the spare bedroom, and the only thing that works is to get in with us in our bed. Last night was the worse as he just cried for ages. He is teething and I can see he's in pain, I gave him teething granuals which did work. The trouble is I'm exhausted from waking up in the night and he also wakes up very early in the morning between five and six. I feel we have got to resolve this soon otherwise it's going to be a habit that we're not going to be able to break. He does sometimes want milk in the night and I'm going to try another suggestion from a thread to give him good before he goes to bed. Perhaps it's all down to teething but I could really do with some advice.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Hi

I feel your pain, lack of sleep is a killer! You say lo has been unwell and teething so reason for waking is understandable. When you say you settle him in your bed, do you then put him back in his cot to sleep? When my son used to wake in the night it was in the early days of placement for a bottle of milk as he had been used to this routine with his fc so we went with it for about 4 months to help him settle in but I got exhausted waking through night and sometimes he would wake twice! We ended up using tough love, no bottles when he woke but we would go in and lie him down and let him know we were there a couple of times and then let him scream it out. It just took a few nights to snap him out of that pattern of waking and he was sleeping through the night no problems. It was hard hearing him so upset but it had to be done and meant we all had good nights sleeps and woke up more refreshed :O). I think waking early is fairly usual, 5 or 6 isn't that early tbh for a lo to wake but if you all get to sleep through the night it's not so hard to get up early. My son would occasionally wake and even now at nearly 3 yrs old but we know now that it's a wet nappy, nightmare or pain. Sometimes he just needs a reassuring voice and to be tucked back in but other times we settle him in our bed and once calm and sleepy he goes back in his cot and goes back to sleep. Hope you get sorted


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi SG,

Hugs as I think a lot if us have been there - we had months of this too.

Good advice and opinions on below thread. I opted for reassurance & sleep (co-slept for night wakes for good few weeks during unwell periods) wherever that was and it worked. No bad habits here now but the odd hour in with mummy is sometimes needed if a wobble or illness occurs - the he wakes me to to tell me he wants his own bed lol

Good luck and anything specific feel free to PM as tried everything for a while.

Oh ps if DH can take turns or let you get proper lie in at weekend you will feel heaps better. Tag team too or go to bed early if you know lil one will be up during or early. I used to go to bed at 830/9 and DH would go to him if he woke before 12. Thus I got a 3hoyr stretch then I didn't mind the on/off sleep quite so much. It does pass too.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=309154.msg5517204#msg5517204

X x


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Thanks both for your advise, I've read the thread and there are some good tips there. We do have an established routine for bedtime, it's more the waking up in the night that's the biggest issue. Most of the time if he falls asleep with me then he stays there, only because I'm too shattered to wait until he's in a deep sleep to take him back.  I think that perhaps it is down to teething and perhaps we need to just co sleep for a while until he's better. Thanks again for taking the time to respond.


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Hi summer girl

Our son placed at 5 months (now 10 months) didn't nap in the day at all when we first met him and had no real routine. He was ok at night, but did go through a long period of waking between 3-5am every night crying. We sleep trained in the day, pretty much controlled crying, because we had no choice; he was beyond exhausted, screaming all day, and very unhappy. It took two painful weeks to teach him to nap and now he has 2.5 hours nap time a day plus a full night.

With nights, I have a friend with a bio son the same age as mine who was doing precisely the same thing as mine. At first, like you it begun with illness / teething and would go in with the calpol, but it quickly became a bad habit and something he would just do. After quite a while of this we agreed we would stop going in; we could hear he'd start by burbling and chatting, then after a while get fed up and cry, then scream etc, so ruled illness out as he's very different when unwell - it's just full screaming when he's poorly or teething! We broke the habit by being tough with this and just pretty much not going in and again, within a week it had totally stopped.

Not responding to a crying child is bloody hard and I battled with it, but once you're sure it's habit and not anything else, tough love is called for. The clue with my son is how he is when we go in; quite often I'd go in to check him and if he seemed fine and was chuckling when I picked him up, I'd pop him down again and leave the room. When he's unwell, he simply doesn't smile when picked up, he's too miserable for that. I always go in on other occasions when he's been fine for ages then suddenly wakes screaming in the night / evening, obviously, because something is wrong, but if it's happening every night it seems a habit. I've noticed with both my kids that they form habits VERY quickly and if they've messed around at bedtime crying etc and take ages to go down and I keep responding with attention, the exact same thing will happen at nap time the next day (at which time I point blank refuse to go back in to the room and leave them to fall asleep).

It's not easy being tough, but it is in your and your son's best interests as a well-rested child is generally a much happier child, and of course a well rested mummy is essential to parenting certainly in my house! I had to get tough as I'm rubbish on a bad night's sleep and it was affecting my parenting.

I hope this helps.


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Teething granules have nothing that will actually help with pain. Our little boy is a very good sleeper but teething can lead to midnight (and 1am, 2am etc. etc.) screaming and we give Calpol as we know he's in pain.
If it really is teething, just as when you have a headache/toothache/cold, painkillers are the way to go I think.


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Just wanted to thank everyone for their advise, I'm so pleased to say that my LO is finally sleeping through 😄😄😄 took advise of not getting him out of bed, just went in and laid him down and stroked him through the cot, the first night was the hardest as he woke about 3 times and he did scream but only for about 5 mins each time, the second night he woke twice and the third night only once and he only protested for about 30 seconds. He's been sleeping through for about 3 weeks now with only the occasional wake up which almost always just requires laying him back down and stoking his head twice and he's asleep 😄 I can't thank you enough for the advise.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Oh well done!  Good job, Summer girl, I'm glad it worked for you.


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