# Got my first -tive yesterday



## Blue Lobster Keeper (Nov 21, 2005)

_*Hello there to anyone reading this.

Thought I would do a post in the hope that it might get all my sadness out of my system a little bit earlier.

Yesterday, we tested twice for our result of our first IVF cycle & it came back with a BFN. I, my sister & my cycle buddies soooooooooo thought that is was going to be a pos - we thought I had all the right symptoms ie, sickness, nausia, enhanced sence of smell & wretching whenever there was a strong nasty smell. How very wrong we all were .

I just still can't stop crying & my period finally showed up early this morning with very bad cramps & very heavy too (TMI) so even more fuel to upset me all over again .

We didn't managed to freeze any eggs, as they stopped growing & after my EC was soooooooooo very painful - all for nowt . Just sitting here wondering why our 2 precious embies didn't take - was it something I have done wrong ..........

I have had great support from the other threads I have posted the neg result in & am very grateful for them - everyday, my bubbles are the first thing I look at - mad eh that ickle bubbles can mean sooooooooooo much when we are feeling down .

We have been offered another cycle at the same clinic (only qualify for 2), but the way I feel at the moment is why bother to go thru all that pain again for something that might not work again. We might change our minds tho ??.

Sooooooooooo sorry for my negative me post, but am really hoping that getting all this off my shrinking chest will make me feel a bit better today .*_


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## Fidget (Jan 27, 2005)

BLK

Have given you a   

so sorry sweetie

Debs
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Awwwww hun i'm so sorry   i know it doesn't feel like it now hun but you will get your strength back for that second go   it is all just too raw at the moment, take your time, get lots of pampering. in the mean time i have blown lots of ickl;e bubbles your way   hope they put a smile on your face  

pam xx


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## Wendy K (Sep 26, 2005)

Hi Blue Lobster Keeper,

I just wanted to say how sorry I am, I just wanted to tell you that I had my first BFN just before christmas as I was very upset, but you do start after a while thinking about it less and thinking forward more, so you should start to feel better in a while. Sending you       for you and your dh's recovery.

Just remember feeling horrid is normal and feeling better happens in your own time. No-one elses.

Take care 

  

Wendy K

Bubble cuddles on their way.


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## Katy G (Feb 5, 2006)

Blue Lobser Keeper
keep talking hun. it really does help and let yourself   as much as possible, its better than bottling it. You would go really   
feel free to have a  on here too, we all feel the same, but it really isn't your fault
you will feel better in time although like grief you loss never goes completely. 
Katy
xxx


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## ♥ cat ♥ (Apr 13, 2003)

I was heart broken when we got i -ive but it does get easier. I found myself crying for no reason then one night i let it all out and cried and cried till i never had any tears left to shead, anyway it made a word of good and it was onwards and upwards from there. Now i am aiming for the next shot.
I was like you i never had any frosties i only got 5 eggs and only 2 made it so the next time the clinic are aiming for more.

Take it easy 

Alison


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## Dannysgirl (Aug 10, 2005)

Sorry to hear of your BFN.  I felt exactly the same as you when I got my BFN in December.  The thing that helped me was my follow up consultation with the clinic.  We discussed what went wrong and what we will do different next time.  It all made sense and now I cant wait to start again.

Only 2 weeks to go !!

Cry your tears honey and I'm sure once you have your follow up with the clinic you'll be itching to start again

Love
dannysgirl xxxxx


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## kizzymouse (Jan 13, 2006)

HUGS!!!!

I got my first BFN too hun, i am okay tho, had a good cry 

I always said first go would be my practice run!!!  But its hard not to be upset and wondered wot I couldve done differently!!! 

I think I will try and relax and act more normal next time!!!

Easier said than done!!!! 

Take care sweetie XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## Blue Lobster Keeper (Nov 21, 2005)

_*Thanks soooooooooo much for all my precious bubbles & the lovely posts from all of you - it has really meant alot to me, you know 

Af arrived yesterday & it is the most painful one I have EVER had . It turning up has made the -tive very final & I am still a bit weepy today.

I guess the bad painful af is due to the ec & et & general prodding about that I had to endure during my first IVF cycle ?? I just hope the very evil pain lets up very soon  ...........

When I am feeling upto it, we are going to research other IVF clinics in the London area, as I was not happy with the Gynie that did our E/C.

Once again, thanks for all your great support - it has meant alot to me .*_


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## kizzymouse (Jan 13, 2006)

HUGS again for bad af pain.

Mine wont come, the WITCH!!! Just a wee bit of brown discharge, yuk sorry TMI!!

The progesterone must still be in my system keeping lining thick, well I wish it would bloody well hurry up and come out cos I'm sick of this dragging on!!  

I just wanna get it over with, life is so unfair at times, makes you wanna just give up!!

Will you do another IVF Lobster?

I am doing 2nd IUI in April. But what can I do differently to make it work?? Damned if I know, I am dreading going thru it all again I have to say but you cant give up!!!

My DP's mum said to him today that I'd been looking pale and tired and not well since doing treatment!  

He said maybe just one more time then we leave it, but I said no might as well give it the 3 shots we have left, after that? I dunno.

There must come a time when you have to say no for the sake of your sanity??  

Well sorry for rant I am peed off at the witch!!   

I hope you are feeling better now  

XXX


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## jome (Feb 5, 2006)

BLK,

So sorry to read your news.... I had the same thing happen to me my first ICSI, everything looked great, and the disappointment was horrendous.... It took me a few weeks to really get through it (I don't think I got over it), but starting a new Tx really helped me get my strength back emotionally and be hopeful again... The 2nd time, I had no symptoms, and was thinking that anything that was different to the first time must be a good sign, but that was negative as well.. but what's keeping me going (sort of  ) is that I've been able to start straight away, so that way I'm looking forward and it's helping me carry on... 

Big hugs honey, I'm sure you'll feel better when you can give it another go...  

Lol, jome xxx


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