# Is it the right match?



## Rossi (Mar 18, 2007)

Please help as I think I am going crazy... We were told yesterday of a potential match - How do you know it is the right child for you - don't think it is but not 100% sure - its so hard as its our first match. 
Can anyone give me any advice or help - got a meeting with our social worker to talk things through - I am not feeling excited about the match so to me that says a lot?

Thanks Zoe


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

I remember the initial excitement of our first potential link and then the sinking feeling when I read the report and found the match wasn't right.  We tried to make it feel right and had an agonising week, feeling bad that we didn't find it 'right', wondering whether that was 'the best we would get' and whether we would get offered any other children.  We both had a gut feeling that it wasn't right and no matter how much talking etc we did we couldnt change that feeling.

Our DS's report felt different from the start, within a couple of pages I knew it was right and just hoped my DH felt the same, which he did.

For us there was a very definate 'right' and 'wrong' feeling but some people get the 'not sure' feeling until they have more information.  Have you had the cpr or just a profile?  If the possible answers to any questions you may have don't worry you its worth getting more info, remember the reports can be a few months out of date, but if the answers would be something you couldn't cope with then maybe its not right.

I remember wondering how we would know but we did and now 2nd time round I am wondering again whether we will know as clearly this time.

Good luck 
OT x


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya

  its so difficult isnt it?  we heard about a potential match 6 months after being approved. we felt soooooooooo happy and confident this LO was perfect for us etc but however, things werent meant to be and another couple were picked.  we then heard about our lovely 2 princesses about 1 month after finding out about the first LO so we were kinda    and not feeling too sure etc. we found out abit about the girls and our sw'er said she wanted to find out abit more about them herself as well as us. anyway, we thought that we were just waiting to find out more info when we found out that the girls sw'er had decided we were the right match and things started to progress from there. i must admit that there were a couple of things we were not sure of - on paper - but as time went on we realised that they couldnt be more perfect for us and our family.  not sure if any of this is actually helping but i think what im trying to say is (in a round about way) that it may not 'seem' perfect straight away for numerous reasons (nervous, anxiety,etc) but only you and your DH will know.  now that we have our 2 daughters we know how blessed and lucky we are.

best of luck and lotsa love camly x x x x x


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## Rossi (Mar 18, 2007)

Thanks for both your messages... We still haven't made our decision but we know we need to this weekend. The only thing that is making us question it all is her age. We have been approved for 0-5 but had both said that we would prefer a child under 2 and she happens at the moment to be 2 years 4 months - but by the time matching panel etc she could be more like 2 years 8/9 months. Every time we discuss it we come back to her age. I have not really slept this past week agonising over what to do - thinking what happens if we turn down the match and it could be the perfect one - this is just the hardest decision we have had to make ever and we know it has to be right...   

Lots to think about this weekend - will let you know our decision if we ever reach one...

Thanks again Zoe x


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya zoe

best of luck with making ur decision. its very difficult isnt it.  

lots of love camly x x x x


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Zoe

Good luck making your decision, it is very hard especially when everything seems great apart from one thing and age is a big consideration.

OT x


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## Guest (Jul 3, 2010)

Hope you can make the right decision for you.  

I wonder if it would help you to think about why you would prefer a child under two?  It might help you to decide whether or not this is something you can compromise on. 

Bop


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## Rossi (Mar 18, 2007)

After much heartache and sleepless nights we came to the decision that the match wasn't right... I feel so much better having made the decision and we met with our social worker tonight and she was absolutely lovely about it. We discussed further with her our matching criteria so hopefully the next one will be the right one. So back to the waiting game again...
Thanks for your help
Zoe x


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## Guest (Jul 5, 2010)

Glad you've made the right decision for you - hope the right match comes along soon.

Bop


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Well done!!  It is so hard to make that decision when all you want is a family but it has to be right for you.

Hope you get the right match soon.
OT x


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