# Anyone Fostering at the moment?



## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

<Gulp!>

Ok i have just bitten the bullet! and requested an info pack from the LA about fostering.
Something i have been thinking about for a while now and dropped the bombshell on dh last night so he is mulling it over. Decided to get the info pack so that he can have a read too. Have allsorts of emotions running round my head at the moment. mainly excitement. I think this could be challenging, rewarding, (hard work!), emotional....
We talked about fostering briefly last night and dh's concerns was my first concern too, possible placement older boy(s). I did say to dh that (given we have our 2 and a half yr old DD) i would like to stipulate (if accepted) that we would not want a boy over the age of 10 for example. I want my DD to be part of this as much as we do, and want her to feel comfortable and involved. The idea i have at the moment (if dh is in agreement) is that we'd go for emergency, respite or short term foster care for a child or children up to the age of 10. 
I really hope that dh is in agreement (dont want to rush him though) and hopefully get started on submitting our details, doing the various courses and group activities etc. Our local LA has said on their website that it could take 6 months to become a foster carer. Then the wait for a child/children.

Do you think i sound realistic so far, only being at the beginning of this? Have done lots of reading about the why's, where's, whats etc and will continue to. 
What is the difference between going to a LA and a private agency though, can anyone tell me? 
I'll be back with lots more questions no doubt!
Hope to hear from someone soon. Thanks for reading x


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## wynnster (Jun 6, 2003)

Hiya

Big pat on the back for even thinking about Fostering - It takes a very special person   

Welcome to the board    I'm sure Suzie will be able to answer your questions for you as i'm sure you know she is a foster carer.

I have friends who are FC's and they were approved by a LA to foster babies 0-2 as thats what they felt they could cope with.  They have done a little respite for older children and that confirmed that they didn't feel they could cope with the behaviour challenges an older child can have (7 year old going to bed with a knife and smearing poo all over her walls was too much)  

I'm sure there is more to the differences between VA and LA but our friends always say they are paid very little because it is LA not VA.

How very exciting - I hope your DH warms to the idea


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Wynnster ... Thank you for replying hun, really appreciate it, have had a natter with Suzie   And the LA rung me on Friday, had a really good talk with a very nice lady for about half an hour. The info pack came yesterday along with form so just waiting on dh really. 
Will keep you updated on any developments!  

x


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## Guest (Jan 26, 2010)

We started by fostering - respite fostering for our LA.  In our experience what you ask for and what you get are often not aligned - we were approved to foster two children who were aged 5-10 and we never got that!  We got three kids, two younger ones, etc. 

Fostering is hard work - the children can be very challenging, but it can also be very rewarding.  We have now adopted "our" three and it is wonderful to see how they have moved on and grown.  

My main concern for you would be your daughter - I had a friend where I used to live who fostered and had a young daughter (18 months) and it caused a lot of problems as the older boy they fostered had a lot of difficulties and the daughter ended up sleeping in with the parents for her own protection.  For adoption they always recommend the adopted child shouldbe the youngest and there should be a gap of at least two years.  I wonder if you would be better waiting a wee while and fostering younger children?  Saying that the process does take a while, so it likely that she would be nearly four before you are approved.  

Do keep exploring and I hope you can make the right decision for your family.  

Bop


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Thank you Bop for your reply, any feedback, good or bad is greatly appreciated   When i spoke to the lady last Friday she did say that if you have your own child/ren then they'd like an age gap of 2 years or so. She did say that the whole process only takes 6 months, but i realise it could take a lot longer before we could be matched (If approved!) Both of us have said that our first concern would be that we wouldn't want a boy over a certain age.   Dont want to be picky but obviously want to protect our daughter. DH hasnt given me feedback yet, he's been reading the info pack slowly but surely, and so i havent pushed him yet into "Have you made a decision?" "What do you think?" etc etc so gonna leave him a while longer to ponder over it and give him to chance to really think it through. Hopefully he'll volunteer his thoughts before long!   


Thanks again hun, i appreciate it x


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## dippy3 (Oct 19, 2005)

Hi Ceri
How are things going?
We have applied today for our fostering pack!!!! We too have been thinking about it for a while.
When I spoke to them today they asked what age would we be interested in fostering. I told them no older than our DD is, they said they usually don't place a child older than your children already. 
Anyway long way to go yet
Donna.x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hiya Dippy   
Was going to update on this post, so good job you gave me a reminder! 
Well after lots of chasing up people on the phones for the past  umpteen weeks (start of things to come i reckon!    ) We have had our initial visit today, and it went really well. We'll get the call from them next week to tell us the date of the next skills to foster course (will be in April) so will be 7 sessions (3 hours each) to attend, really looking forward to it all, then we'll have another home visit to discuss the in-depth nitty-gritty stuff and then go from there, she said it could take 6-8 months from now to be approved. And that they'd build up a huge file on us ready for the panel. 
We discussed ages, whether we'd like respite, emergency, long or short term foster child/ren (and if we'd accept siblings) 
So we're both all excited and raring to go!


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Ceri - hope the meeting went well ? you are on your way now 

Dippy - what type of fostering are you thinking of doing? short term/long or respite? 

well W is 4 weeks today and is lovely  busy but he is very chilled so it really helps


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## dippy3 (Oct 19, 2005)

Ceri It sounds great gosh to think 6 months from now.... Please let me know how the sessions go. Good luck.

Suzie we're not sure yet I think probabaly short term/long term. W sounds a dream.

We are going to our provisional meeting on 30th March, (as long as a baby sitter can be found for DD) so excited any insights into what will happen at it??.
love Donna. x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Dippy ... Yes will do hun, likewise with you hun, want to know all about it  

Suzie ... Yep went well, all excited now! Glad your little men are behaving!


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## fiona1 (Feb 2, 2005)

I too would love to foster, but have to wait till youngest is 3, Suzie, it will be intresting to hear your experiance of when baby moves on from your care, We would like to foster under 5's but a newborn would be brill.

Good Luck to everyone else.

Fiona


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Just had the call to say we've been approved to go on the Skills-to-Foster training course! Woohoo!  
Slightly disappointed because they aren't running a course in April (guessing not enough people to warrant it) So it will be in May instead. But pleased we've been accepted onto the course!


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## dippy3 (Oct 19, 2005)

Ceri  Fab news!!!! congratulations. May will soon be here.
Love Donna.x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

woo hoo  you are on your way! its al go from there onwards 
x


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## dippy3 (Oct 19, 2005)

Hi just an update,
We have filled in THE APPLICATION!!!!    and sent it off. We are now waiting for a phone call to arrange a visit fingers crossed they think we could be prospective carers......
Hope all well
Donna.x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Brilliant  

Can't believe W is already 8 weeks! NO idea where the time has gone 

x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Just gate crashing as i walking around town today in this lovely sunshine and was greeted by a smiling gentleman........always nice to receive a smile............  when I noticed he was stood against a big board all about fostering!!  I noticed the smile first not the board!!!   LOL

Anyway of course I smiled back and I was asked "Have you ever considered fostering?"  Well I could have stood there and told him my whole life story if it was not for the fact the ticket on my car was due to run out...........ANYWAY......I said "YES I would love to do it but the timing is not quite right at the moment..........but would love to do it when the children are a bit older.

We talked FOR A WHILE AND HE TOLD ME MANY FOSTER CARERS WHO ARE BRILLIANT ARE COMING UP TO RETIRMENT AGE AND THEY ARE CRYING OUT FOR FOSTER CARERS.

He asked if he could send me an information pack......to which I said YES please....no harm in looking.

The gentleman was from Familyfostercare..................they have a website.........WWW.familyfostercare.co.uk  If anyone is thinking of doing this wonderful job why not check it out??

Love
Andrea
x

/links


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Awww Andrea 

our la also has a few older carers who are retiring soon and more are needed. 

Fostering is a massive part of my life which I love, blooming hard work at times but I wouldn't want it any other way. 
Many people say to me that we are amazing blah blah blah but we really aren't , I believe anyone who had the resources and time to do it can. I don't do it to be doing a good deed so  to  speak but to champion each and every child we care for.

Xx


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## galaxy girl (Feb 12, 2008)

Suzi - would love to ask some questions re fostering... is it possible to work while fostering? what will ss expect in term of reducing work hours or flexibility? we are doing our prep course at the minute and everyone is a lot older with grown up children - wondered if we were going down the right path......


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## dippy3 (Oct 19, 2005)

Hi all
Hope everyone is well.
Got phone call yesterday SW is coming to visit us on 7 May. So excited but a bit well actually very    

Galaxy girl 
I couldn't believe how flexible she was in arrangng visit round DH work (he works away alot)  I'm not exactly in the same boat as you because I don't work. Hope you get some answers. Good Luck

Suzie hope little man not keeping you awake too much

Andre will def look at that website. Good luck with yur info pack 

Ceri what date does your course start?
Speak soon.
Donna. x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Donna ... Was planning on ringing them yesterday as heard nothing for a few weeks, but got the dates through the post yesterday! Starts on 5th May, every Mon and Wed. So have rung them to confirm we'll be attending  
I felt the same when they said they were coming to visit us, one hurdle down, many more to go!!!  

Galaxy ... Just whilst Suzie comes back, have you been on your local council site? Tap in fostering in their search bit. You could ring them for a pack  

x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Glad things are moving for you both  Fab  I want to hear all about your fostering journeys and will help in any way I can 

Galaxy  - It can depend on the LA, our LA don't specifically ask one of you to give up work but they do expect you to have a job that allows you the time to put into fostering, as with each child comes meetings at home with sw and also meetings and contact with birth families, depending on the childs situation
When we started fostering I was working evenings and weekends, about 15 hours a week. 
I know some carers do work full time but they tend to have older foster children. 

xx


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## Angels4Me (Apr 8, 2006)

just bookmarking


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## galaxy girl (Feb 12, 2008)

thanks suzi! very helpful! I initially had respite in mind - so wouldn't affect work....don't think our board (ni equiv of LA) do much of this though. 

Am willing to re think how i work - just worried about how this practically would work - it we took school age could def think about term time working or reduced hours. Prep course freaked me out as everyone appears to already have kids at home and have the whole set up in place. Wondered if we should have gone straight to adoption... as you get adoption leave etc. .... but Dh and I have always been drawn to fostering ----


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Galaxy- we were the only ones on our course who didn't have children and we got the usual comments from sw about were we not adopters blah blah and not foster carers etc
they soon ate their words when in just over a year of fostering we got our level 5 accreditation which is highest in our la  
I was also one of the youngest ever to be approved in our la, don't think
there are many in their 20's ( now 30's  ) 

As it turns out we are now foster carers and adopters  

X


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## galaxy girl (Feb 12, 2008)

Hi all,

had our second prep course tonight. feeling much less freaked out! went well.  there were even more people there tonight than last week ( there is a recruitment drive on at the moment...)


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Galaxy ... When we made the very first enquiry, a phone call to our LA, I spoke to a lady for half an hour or so and she said the same to us (as i'd explained that we'd got a little girl from IVF) she said "Isn't it adoption that you are interested in then?"    
Well we have our first 'Skills to Foster' course tonight, really excited about it (and a little nervous) 
I had a dream about it last night, that we went to our first meeting and we came home with 2 children!      
Anyway, will fill you in tomorrow hopefully!


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Ceri hope it goes well for you  So excited for you 

Let us know how it goes 

xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Will do chuck! x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Well, did lots of team playing, idea crunching etc Was supposed to be 17 of us, only 5 there (along with 2 sw's, and 2 foster carers of 28 yrs experience between them) lasted 3 hours, loads of talking, watching videos' and have 3 hours home work to do before Mondays session! All in all enjoyable night, banging head though as didn't take specs to see projection screen!   
Lovely people to talk to as well. Roll on Monday!


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Glad you had a good session  

Ya numpty! Remember your specs for monday  

Want to hear all about the next one

x


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## dippy3 (Oct 19, 2005)

Hi all hope your all well

Cerri sounds all good glad it went well,yes glasses do help     

We had SW round yesterday so now waiting for a course I think. She said next one not til September though. Do you think we could ask to be put on a cancelation list or do you think they'll do that anyway. All seemed to go well. She said they would write to us next.

Suzie hope all going well.

Love Donna.x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Suzie have sent you a PM................


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Superal sorry for delay got my hands busy at the mo  Have sent you one back


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Suzie thanks for the PM.

For all the wonderful people who I have got to known over the years on this site...............I have a meeting with a gentleman on Friday about fostering.............Suzie has kindly given me some good advice......as always  .........I don't think the timing is right at the moment for us to do this but there is no harm in finding our more.

I think each and everyone foster family do a superb "job" of  looking after children in their care. I write "job" as I have as I know lots do not do it as a job but I can not think of another word to describe what you do...apart from terrific!!


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Great news Superal - you'll be fab!


We plan to foster at some point, but not for at least another 10 years! Hope your meeting goes well.


Bx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

SuperAl ... Fab news hun, keep us posted when you decide to go for it! Hope Friday goes ok though!

Suzie ... Have pm'd you hun x

Well went for our 2nd session last night, thought we'd done well to finish our case study's etc then found out that we had double the homework, SW not told us about, no-one had done the other half so have another hour to do from last week, so from last night, we were given another 4 hours homework to do ready for the next session ... TOMORROW! So getting quite intense already!  All good though, and still enjoying it. Lots of role play and team work too. 

Right back to it then! ..............

x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

welcome to the world of fostering 

glad its going well 

xx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

My meeting tomorrow has been cancelled!  

Can not be helped though I totally understand why this gentlemen has cancelled....family bereavement and he has to travel to be there.....he left a really nice message on my ansaphone................we will wait and see what happens and i will keep you posted.

Andrea
xx


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Sorry your meeting was cancelled Andrea but great that you are looking into fostering next.  We plan to foster in the future but not until our family are able to understand and handle it, it may even wait until they have moved out!!!

However, we want to do it for the opposite reason to you   I know there are good FCs out there but our DS wasn't lucky in that department, if he had of been he wouldn't have been classed as such a challenging child.  So we want to do it to give littlies the input etc that you would give your own child SO in that sense the same reason as you but as a result of having had a naff FC!

OT x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Old timer that makes perfect sense  Our LA are actually working really hard with their foster carers and standards
The fostering standards were introduced last year that each foster carer old or new have to complete and they are actually a really good way of assessing carers

Sorry your meeting was cancelled. Hope they rearrange quickly


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## galaxy girl (Feb 12, 2008)

Well our prep course was completed last night! It all went very well and I'm positive about going forward.. We now have to wait for home study to start - and are going to an adoption prep course in June.. 

Am excited to proceed!


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## maryclarey (Sep 28, 2005)

Hi there everyone! Have been away from FF for a while but am back now and came across your thread and thought I'd answer the threads question! I have been fostering for 9 years and at the moment have 3 children placed with me    I also have a DS through IVF he is 2years old so have a pretty full house! If I can be of any help to you please ask! Good Luck to all of you whatever stage you are at fostering is so rewarding!
Love MaryClarey x


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## SMG (May 26, 2010)

Hi all...
I'm new to the site but thought I'd introduce myself-Im Sam and am at the very beginning of what could be a very interesting and new journey   I have always wanted to foster and done lots of work with children from all backgrounds and circumstances (and cultures) as an OT but have finally bitten the bullet and phoned the LA for more information on the process...
My only real (and BIG) concern is that I have an 8mth old son and Im concerned of the impact fosetering would have on him? 
If anyone has any experience/suggestions/advice I would be very greatful to hear it..the social worker is coming out in two weeks!
Thank you


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Hiya smg 

I can't comment on fostering with a baby as my son is 4 and we are having younger placements at the moment . But I do know that the social workers would look very carefully at what placements/ age group you foster 

I hope the initial visit goes well for you  let us know how it goes

x


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