# Bummer!



## Mrs AB

Ok, here goes! I'm 31 (tick, tick, tick!), originally from Belfast but have been living in Dromore for the past 6 years.  My hubbie (he's 32) and I started TTC 3 yrs ago (still can't believe its been THREE YRS!) and zip, nothing, zilch.  The past year we've been getting a little concerned but opted for Acupuncture first before getting proper tests - to be honest I think we were both petrified of getting tests carried out in case it was bad news.  Tried Acupuncture for 3 months and £600 quid later still nothing - only benefit was being able to spot my fertile times through monitoring my BBT (we automatically assumed that I had the 'problem' so hubbie didn't get any needles stuck into him).  

In September I got fed up and contacted Origins for an initial consultation - they gave us an appt. within 2 weeks - panic stations!  On the 17/10/07 we were told that hubbie had very poor motility and a high number of abnormal sperm (apparently I was ok) and we were immediately advised to try ICSI.  Couldn't belive it - actually felt very surreal.  Hubbie didn't utter a word when we were told.  It still feels surreal - we've decided not to make any decisions until after Christmas.  In the meantime hubbie has been getting Acupuncture (revenge!) and I can't help feeling it'll be for nothing.  At the mo I feel hopeless/lost/confused/desperate and completely out of control.

Any words of wisdom?  

Mrs AB


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## skywalker

hello mrs ab,

welcome to the ireland board!  there is a very good thread on northern ireland girls.  it has been very supportive to me.

it is a very big shock when you assume that it will be simple to have children and then bam after years of ttc (trying to concieve) you are landed a bombshell.   

a few practical hints and tips - 
ensure your dh (dear husband)  wears boxer shorts, has cool showers, takes some supplements of
zinc, selenium (zita west has very good vitamins which can be ordered on line).  
try not to play the blame game because it can be soul destroying - your dh prob has had his 'manhood' stripped away.  
there are very good fertility counsellors available and i know origin have them on staff - it is very good to talk to them.  dh and i went to one through rfc a few weeks ago and it was good to have someone who can help and understand - dh is the most quiet person and i was worried about him - he did manage to say a few sentences!!

overall look after the both of you and talk to each other as it can be a very lonely journey.  there are also some very good books - i have 'the couples guide to in vito fertilization' by liza charlesworth.  it an american book but has some very good points in it.

take care (pm me if you want to talk)
skywalker


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## Hally74

Hi Mrs AB

Welcome to Fertility Friends.  Here you will find a lot of people who are in the same position as yourself.  Despite feeling as you probably do all alone in your anguish...

We have all felt and still do feel some of the emotions you are feeling.  But most importantly you will read many success stories from others who have been in our position, which gives us all hope.  Infertility irrespective of male or female factor is frustrating and so very disheartening.

At 31, you are still on the good side of treatment statistics so do not dispair.  The most important thing is that you have decided to do something about your worries.

On this board you will be able to discuss your concerns, obtain some very useful advice and discover the wonderful support network that exists here.

Your DH (dear husband) will probably be feeling very vulnerable at the moment also, through this website you will find many other couples who are experiencing treatment re the male factor issues you have mentioned.  Rest assured it is "nobody's fault" - we are all in this together and it really does not matter which side the problems are on - (in fact some couples have problems on both sides) it takes two to tango as they say.

Take this time to arm yourself with as much information as possible, read read and read... make notes about questions you want to ask at your next appointment, so that you do not forget something important that you may wish to ask.

Ask yourself are Origin the best in this area?  I hear they are a very good clinic, but over here we usually tend to go with whoever is handy I have learnt. We do not have as much choice as other countries anyway, but in my humble opinion, if you are spending your hard earned money try to ensure you are getting the best treatment possible.  

My apologies this has ended up sounding like a lecture LOL.

There are some great threads that might interest you on the main boards etc, or the NI girls thread is also terrific - but be aware of the tickers and baby pictures, sometimes when someone is going through a rough time they can all be a bit much.

I wish you all the best, if there is anything I can help you with do not hesitate to ask.
xxx


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## SUNNY2007

Hi Mrs Ab
I originally had pcos but was told that when they fixed that it was actually my husbands poor motility that was the problem why we werent getting pregnant.  I had icsi and fet and i am now preggers with twins.  Apparently by doing the icsi thats your husbands problem overcome and because there is nothing wrong with you you have a higher chance of getting pregnant with icsi because wants the embie is put in you are healthly so a good chance of implantation.  I had been trying to get pregnant since 2003 so dont give up hope though i would say things probably wont change no mateer what you do so give it a go you have nothing to lose.

Take care.
My husband tried chinese herbal medicine for 6 months did show improvement in motility but this was only short term

Sunny xox


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## Mrs AB

Skywalker/Hally/Sunny

Thankyou for taking the time to reply to my message. I was able to relate to lots of your comments. What a clever bunch you are!!! There is so much I want to say!!! And you 've probably felt all the emotions and feelings I'm currently experiencing (and might still be experiencing) but my main issue at the mo is why me?! I'm a hate the world right now. It's so ironic - I spent most of my adult life trying to _not_ fall pregnant and now I'm trying to deal with the fact that it may never happen naturally. If I hear one more person saying 'don't think about it so much and it will happen' I swear, I'll poke their eyes out!! Oh and if someone else asks me if I'm planning on having babies I will will not be held responsible for my actions!

Talk about bad timing - the day after I was told that natural conception would be a miracle (actually the consultant said there was less than 10% chance of it happening - but still their pathetic odds - Worse than Charlotte's from Sex And The City !!!!) Sorry, went on a tangent there - the day after I found out, my matie was sending me text messages - a running commentary of her progress - SHE WAS IN LABOUR!!!!! Obviously she was blissfully unaware of the horrible news I had received the previous day and I wasn't going to blurt it out whilst she was 3cm dialated!! To rub a little more salt into my already profoundly deep wound, one of my staff from my office told me (on the same day) that she was pregnant. Well, that was it - I took two days off work. There's only so much a girl can take!!

The worst thing about this whole scenario is the fact that I'm powerless. I like to plan and when I set out to do something or to achieve something I pretty much succeed. But with this I can do nothing!! No amount of planning and organising is going to encourage DH's swimmers to make it to the bullseye (unless we are very lucky and I'm really not a lucky person. Actually I'm the most unlucky person I know - for example, my mum had a brain hemoraghe and a heart attack in January - she's recovered well thank God and was very lucky to have survived, then in June DH was made redundant and now wevre been told that we are reproductively challenged. But, at least I still have my humour - and by God do I need it!!

Would love to hear from you again!

xo

Mrs AB


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## Hally74

Hi Mrs AB, Have just PM'd you.

Hi Sunny.

Skywalker how are you stranger?


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## Hally74

Mrs AB

Sunny is correct, ICSI can correct the male factor problems - and you only need one wee boyo to do the job honey!!!

Try not to disappoint yourself by reading too much into the stats - if we all did that we would never have tried  ivf.

It can and does work as many people on this website will testify - hang in there and keep thinking positive.

xxx


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## tedette

Hi there,

MY DH was also originally diagnosed with poor motility and antibodies, we were given that lovely news last December, just in time for Christmas. 

HOWEVER, he has been having smoothies nearly every day since and high dose Vit C & E, selenium and zinc and his last SA in september was excellent according to 2 different consultants!  His motility is also excellent now, he was pleased to hear! 

As well as that the antibodies, which were considered the problem, aren't a factor anymore...apparently, although I'm still not pregnant. 

But it means we can try IVF instead of going straight to ICSI.

It is an awful shock when your DH gets told they have even slight problems, it really hits them hard but remember people have successful treatment even when there is no sperm in their sample and it has to be removed from the testes 

Get down to Tescos and stock up on the vitamins...it won't do any harm if you have to have treatment anyway.

Tedette


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## Mrs AB

Hi Tedette

Thanks for your post - it was very positive!  As soon as we were told that DH had poor quality sperm I stocked up on the supplements - Holland & Barrett do an all in one supplement specifically for male reproductive health - they are massive tablets and smell pretty bad!  DH is also undergoing Acupuntcure as well - as Tesco always says 'every little helps' or is that Sainsbury's?!  What smoothies did your DH take?  Was there a noticable improvement?  Which consultants are you using?  Does ICSI not provide better odds because the sperm is directly injected into the egg, thus improving the chances of fertilization?

Sorry for all the questions!

Mrs AB


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## Mrs AB

Hally/Skywalker/Sunny

Where have you disappeared to?!  I need some girly chat!!!!  

Mrs AB


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## Shadrach

Hello Mrs AB
My heart goes out to you.  I hope you find strength from the other girls here.  There are some miracle stories alright.  My DH was told count was fine but motility  and mobility could be better.  We are on Napro and he was told to take a herb called Pycnogenol (hope thats spelt right!).  It is packed with antioxidents.  Got it in Holland and Barrett.  Two months later I was preggers!  I think Tedette has given great advice.  Get your diet in good shape and you will be in the best position for conception, either naturally or artificially.  Love and light,
Shadrach


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## Mrs AB

Shradrach, thanks for your post - what is Napro?  

Mrs AB


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## CherryWoo

Hi Mrs AB, Really sorry to hear what you are going through Hon. I found out I was in early menopause this year (I'm 30) & then we found out DH had a REALLY low sperm count too (he was told about this as a quick comment in my HRT clinic- charming!!?)- my head is still somewhere up my b*m to be honest. Know what you mean about percentages too- when we thought it was just me, there was a 5% chance (which in my deluded brain I was sure would happen to me!) but now it's somewhere between winning the lottery & being struck by lightening. Even at that my Mum & one of my friends keep saying 'oh, you never know'- grrr, yes I bl**dy do!!
Bad things like this always seem to come together, eh? Sorry to hear about your Mum too. I think that you are doing brilliantly though taking positive steps with supplements, acupuncture etc. & looking into ICSI. It helps with the powerless feeling you were talking about I think. I also saw a lovely counsellor in the RVH called Dr Scott-Hayes. She was one of the first people who treated me with some sympathy & respect & I would really recommend her. Don't feel guilty for the bad/angry days though. I work in the RVH & sometimes, when I see all the wee millies standing outside the maternity hospital smoking & heavily pregnant, or when ANOTHER of my friends gets pregnant after trying for 5 minutes, I wanna strangle someone- it's only natural & you would be weird if you were all smiley & happy all the time (that's my excuse for being a hormonal be-atch anyway!!).
Well best be off to get my bus home (which leaves from outside maternity- Ahhh- dam those fertile people!) but sending you lots of hugs & letting you know that you are not alone Sweetie.
Jen xo
PS- you were a lovely bride!


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## Dahlia

Hallo,
have also posted on NI thread.
Mrs AB -liked your sex and the city comment-made me laugh! You really need a sense of humour with this infertility lark 
Weejen-I know what you mean about the smoking millies outside the RVH and it"s not pleasant having to walk thru a maternity hospital to get to the fertility clinic.
Congrats to Sunny!Gives me hope!
Good luck to Tedette,Skywalker,Shadrach and Hally xxxx


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## Mrs AB

Wow - Weejen and Dahlia thanks for your comments.  Weejen, I got a little emotional when I read your post - literally because your words were so comforting  - I especially got a teeny weeny bit emotional when you commented on the wedding pic (althought that damned thing I now detest the sight of - my period - has arrived so I am a little hormonal).  You see, I had all these wonderful fairytale ideas when I got married - me and DH would live happily ever after and we would have lots and lots of babies (well, actually two and then DH was going to have the snip - boy, was I presumptious or what!) and it hurts a little that it's not turning out like that.  I suppose that's why I posted that pic - it reminds me of how dreamy and positive and hopeful I was - cos let me tell ye - at the minute I ain't one bit bloody dreamy!  I'm angry and resentful and a cow to live with! 

Dahlia, glad you enjoyed my 'Sex and the City' gag - I'm actually quite proud of that one myself!  I suppose when you're faced with a dilemma such as ours you gotta drag yourself out of it sometimes and use a bit of banter to cope.

I have a confession to make - my period was late on Tuesday and it's never late.  I made the stupid mistake of thinking that it had actually happended - the 'p' word.  I had convinced myself that this was it - I started thinking of really cool ways of telling DH; should I buy a 'mans guide to pregnancy book' all nicley wrapped for him to open?  No. I'll put a nice little message on one our dogs collars with a pink and blue bow; or I could just phone him and scream down the phone 'you're gonna be a daddyyyy!'  Then I started calculating possible due dates and all that palava (by the way, I did all this thinking driving to work - see what peak-time traffic does to a woman!)

Anyway, I skipped and hopped to Boots and bought a bloody test, raced to the toilets in my office and did it.  Guess what?  BFN (you're supposed to act really surprised at this point!).  Within two hours my blasted 'curse' arrived - with a vengence!  I then progressively felt very, very silly - I mean we were told that more or less the immaculate conception was going to be required to fulfill our baby hopes and I go and do that!  

What's a girl to do?!!

Would love to hear from you (especially you Hally - where you been?)

Mrs AB

XX

BTW I've blown you some bubbles!!  See how nice I really am!


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## Dahlia

Mrs AB- have lost count of number of pregnancy tests I have bought (and used too!) and like you had made lots of plans in my head including dates of confinement,how early I could tell people,what their faces would look like,names etc etc.But someday the test will be positive  .Keep believing that !
Have a lovely weekend x


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## Mrs AB

Dahlia

Ta for the post (and the bubbles!) - don't feel as bad now!  Speak soon!

Mrs AB

xx


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## Mrs AB

Weejen

Noticed you're online, how are you Mrs?!

Anita (formerly Mrs AB)


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## Hally74

Hi Girls

Sorry not to have been around for a while.  As I explained to Mrs AB in a PM I had family staying with me, so puter time was very restricted & no privacy.  Thank goodness I have now gotten rid of them LOL - lovely host am I not!!!

I can totally relate to what you have all been posting.  I too just love those heavily pregnant smoking females outside the RVH fertility clinic.  I had to walk past them having just been told I was in the middle of a miscarriage.  I was on my way home to pack a bag & return the next morning to have a D&C, I just about held it together as I walked past them and felt like screaming do you not realise how lucky you are...

As for the pregnancy tests - I dread to think how much money I have wasted on them over the years.  I now will not buy one unless I am a full week late (which never happens) - the old witch always appeared just after I had done one.

Hang in there girls, hopefully our day will come.  
xxx


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## Mrs AB

Hally!  You're back!!!  

Good to hear from you.  I did something really strange today - I bumped into my cousin in Belfast and we chatted for a bit (she's a lovely girl and a real 'people person' and she was talking to me about how she's coping after her miscarriage a few months back (she was pregnant with twins - a natural conception and miscarried at 6 mths) and asked how I was.  Up until this point I was quite chatty and was doing my best to offer her words of comfort and then I told her about my own horrendous news - quite calmly.  And her poor face fell, she said she was very sorry and all of a sudden I started crying - in the middle of the street!!  A fat lot of use I am!  I'm obviously an emotional wreck who should be banned from all social activity and public events!  I'm sure I'll straighten out in due course!

How have you been?

Anita


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## Hally74

Oh Anita,

Sorry love.  These emotions can overwhelm you at the drop of a hat.  If I had a pound for every time I have had to quickly remove myself from a situation over the last 6 months because I was about to cry I would be rich in the materialistic sense.

I am fine, despite AF arriving yesterday.  Every month DH & I face another wave of disappointment probably just like yourself.  I had used the ovulation kit this month as per usual, detected my surge but surprised surprise - no joy.  The cost of those damn things are as bad as the pregnancy tests.


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## Mrs AB

Hally, at least you've been able to detect a surge - anytime I've used those things they're always negative - but my BBT dips and then rises at the same time every month - I'm either not using it right or my body is up the left.  To be honest I'm really interested in 'trying' at the mo - I've discussed this with the other girls on the NI thread.  I'm not even taking my temperature - I think I need to take a break from it all and try to focus on 'normal' realtions with the ol' hubbie - if you get my drift (ahem!).  

I cannot find the right words to describe my hatred of the dreaded appearance of AF - especially after seeing it month after ruddy month for the past 3 yrs and usually when I've taken a pregnancy test, there it pops its ugly head within a few hrs!  

I've been thinking (brace yourself) I'm not sure if my desire to experience the wonder of pregnancy and the creation of new life has been overtaken by an obsession to fall pregnant because I seem to be failing at it - do you know what I mean?  Sometimes the frustration is overwhelming.  Does that make sense?  

Hally, you have to blow me some bubbles - I'm sitting on 58 at the mo - I need 67 - I'm now paranoid about my numbers ending in a 7!  As if I haven't got enough to worry about - now I'm worried about numbers!  By the way, this is just a little bit of light humour - just in case you're re-thinking this friendship!

Anita


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## Hally74

Panic over you are now sitting pretty on 77!!!


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## Mrs AB

Hally!  I'm overwhelmed at your generousity!!  Very clever!  I can't talk for long - I'm at work at the mo and couldn't resist a sneaky peak.  

Talk Later

Anita


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## Cate1976

to you.  I was in the Jubilee on Monday.  Called round while waiting for DH to go in for his appopintment for his side of things.  There were 2 mums with their LO's stood talking outside, one had a twin pushchair and judging by the fact the seats were laid back, I assumed it was twins and not very old either.  I did get a touch of the green eyes.  After that DH and I were browsing round shops and in one there was a mother with a bay in a pram and I looked over and DH saw and pulled me away.  he knows the look.  I said 'I'm not broody' which of course is a big fat lie.
DH and I were told he has low sperm count and only half moving well on 29th November last year. 24 hours later I was still beyond words.


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## CherryWoo

Hi Anita, sorry I missed your wee message to me- it was nice to think that someone was thinking of me   I know what you mean about random crying, I'm always at it (although I think my menopausal mood swings are making it worse). I was off to the loo in work to cry AGAIN today! Anything to do with pregnancy/babies sets me off & as I work in the sodding RVH it's in my face constantly.

Hally- wait to you hear this for a good one- I had just been told of my DH's infertility (a couple of mths after my premature menopause diagnosis- fan-bloody-tastic) & was sitting in a garden in the RVH grounds crying behind my sunglasses when a girl walked past HAVING CONTRACTIONS & smoking- I really wanted to slap her face! I have no probs with people smoking normally (my bro does) but to knowingly damage your baby's health beggars belief- grr!

I'm feeling so low. I've put on tons of weight (another delightful symptom of meno & HRT) & just feel like a big fat useless waste of space- sorry, I'll stop moaning. I better get myself together as I have to meet a friend in a couple of mins after work & if she sees a teary face & asks if I'm OK I'll bust- why is it that people being nice to you is the final straw??

Sorry for venting, it's just that nobody else understands.
J xo


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## Mrs AB

Jen

I'm so sorry that you have been feeling down lately - what can I say?  They describe the rollercoaster of IVF - but to be honest there's definitely the rollercoaster of emotions when it comes to experiencing infertility in general - never mind bloody IVF.  It's so difficult to accept the feeling of powerlessness, the injustice (especially in your case) and pain of it all.  It's plain rotten.  And no one understands only us - I'm assuming that's why my mother-in-law was speechless when we told her (and then progressively told us that 'we had to get on with our lives' - that has to be the perfect example of ignorance!).  I feel completely consumed by it at the minute and when people chat to me about what I've been up to or what I'm doing at Christmas/New Year - I get angry because quite frankly at the minute I'm simply not interested in Christmas or meaningless chit-chat but then it's not their fault that I'm feeling this way and they can do nothing to change it.

Bah, hum bug!!!!   (strangely, I was actually cleaning coal the other day - but don't panic the coal in my fire was dusty - it's an electric fire!).

Anita
xx


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## Hally74

Join the club.  

What with AF arriving the other day, family hassles (looking after my 3 nephews this weekend) that I could do without at the minute, and seeing another girl that I was at school with heavily pregnant this afternoon I just feel like screaming......

As for Christmas I wish to god DH could take his holidays in the winter (he can't) I would just love to p!ss off and forget about the whole thing.


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## Mrs AB

I think you could do with a nice weekend away - something to think about.  Me and DH went to Glasgow last year and we had a really good time.  It was great to escape from work and all the hassles at home - even if it was just for a few days.  Come on Hally, you're a born nuturer - you'll snap out of it just like I'm going to have to!

I'm away for a bath - need to ease the stresses of my day.

P.S you were logging on early this morning!  An early riser, are we?!


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## Hally74

Yes, funny you say that - DH and I are just discussing heading away for a weekend at the start of December...

Yep I have got into the bad habit of logging on for a quick read before heading off in a morning


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## ritad

Anita

Just wanted to say hello-I'm enjoying your posts and can empathise totally with everything you're saying. 

Hally-I used the ovulation kits for a while and found they worked fine as far as predicting the time. They are pretty expensive so we've decided to ditch them cos I sort of know roughly the time of ovulation anyway. Found it quite hard holding on for 4 hours before peeing aswell!!!! You know how it is-when you're not allowed to go, for some reason the bladder feels like its fit to burst!!!!

Ritad


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## Mrs AB

Rita

Glad to meet you!  Hope the posts are both entertaining and enlightening for you!  It's strange just how much we are all able to relate to the many emotions and thoughts we have experienced at some point.  Don't talk to me about ovulation kits - I too have had enough of them.  To be honest, I know only trust what my body tells me - the signs are there if you know what to look for.  

You know, this whole journey has taught me a lot (other than getting pregnant isn't as easy as I thought), I've learned so much about the female and male reproductive system (to the annoyance of my DH - he rolls his eyes and cringes every time I say 'did you know that the .....').  and I've learned a lot about IVF & ICSI (although, I didn't really want to) and I'm sure you all have.  Alright, we don't have mimi-me's yet but we're sure as hell learning what we can to get there!!

Hally, I didn't quite have the de-stressing bath that I wanted because I was thinking too much about DH's sperm (bet you've suddenly lost your appetitie!) - as I said in my thread in Northern Ireland Girls - I received a copy of our SA report and I'm trying to understand all the different results within it.  Sometimes I just can't switch off!!!  

You had mentioned earlier about seeing an old friend who was heavily pregnant?  Well, how's this for a big slap in the face - DH's cousin got married in June of this year and they made it known that they were eager to start a family.  Within a week of being married she fell pregnant - I'll say that again - within a WEEK!!!  What was my response to this, I hear you ask - I promptly threw my mobile across the room (don't know why, it wasn't the mobiles fault!) and burst into tears.  

C'est la Vie (did I spell that right?)

Anita


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## Mrs AB

Hally, logging on in the morning is not a bad habit - look upon it as your 'fix' - setting you up for the rest of the day!  Could be worse - I'm trying to get my 'fix' at my desk in the office (I'm supposed to be the bloody manager!) - and my back is to everyone else, so it's a bit risky - but hey, I like to live on the edge....

I'm a bit of a night owl these days - as you can tell!  I really should try to get to bed earlier..  DH went to bed about an hour ago, he muttered something like, 'goodnight darling wife, whom I worship with all my body', sorry couldn't help that, it was something like, 'night, I suppose you're going to chat with your new bloody fertile friends' - well, I thought, if we were all bloody 'fertile' we wouldn't be here!  Men, I swear to God.

Catch ya later!

Anita


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## ritad

Hi Anita

I think I'm reaching the same stage as you now as far as dealing with pregnant women. When I got married four years ago, 4 other girls got married within weeks of me. Three have 2 babies and the other has 1. Its hard to keep the hearty congratulations going as time is a ticking!!!! I know someone who is 26 and has been ttc for 6 months and has been distraught every month with no result. Maybe I'm getting hardened in my old age, but 6mths!!!!! If only!!!!!

Thats the rant over.

Ritad


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## Mrs AB

Hi Rita (and all!), I agree, 6 months is nothing!  Tell her to dry her eyes!!  I noticed on the NI thread a post about an Infertility talk on the 29/11/07 - has anyone been to something like this before?  If so, was it beneficial - I mean, did you learn something new or informative?  I'm thinking of going to it.  Give me your thoughts!

I e-mailed a doctor from the NaPro programme in Galway a few days ago (I saw the thread entitled simply 'NaPro' and decided to look into it) and asked for more info - he asked me to send the details of DH's SA - which I did.  He replied today and confirmed that they could help us improve chances of conception.  I think I'll contact them tomorrow and find out exactly what they can do to help us and in particular DH.  I'm not going to spend thousands of pounds to be told that DH needs to quit smoking - know what I mean!  It's definitley something to think about though - Origins told us about our fertility problem and recommended IVF - which isn't treatment really, it's not addressing the root cause, whereas I think NaPro actually provide treatment.

Anita


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## Mrs AB

Hally, I've just noticed that you have 897 bubbles - what with my obsession with bubbles now, I'm a little jealous.  You're such an over-achiever!!  How on earth did you get that many!  You seem a very nice girl, but seriously!  Are you sure you're not blowing yourself bloody bubbles....... 

I've been abandoned; left to fend for myself - what a cruel world!  Yes, as you've probably guessed I can be a drama queen at times (no!!! says you) but I'm feeling very vulnerable (must explain my insecurity of your bubbles) - DH has decided that he'd much rather spend the weekend standing in the freezing cold all day (on second thoughts might be good for the ol' boyos!), sleeping in a van at night and peeing into a bag - as opposed to snuggle up with cuddly, smuggly me!  You guessed it, I'm a Rally Ireland widow for the weekend.  At least I can talk to you girls ALL NIGHT - eh, whaddya think of that?!  No more fighting over the puter - you have 100% of my attention!  Strangley I don't think you'll all be overly enthused at that idea!!  

Anita


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## Hally74

Whizzing thro

Looking after 3 nephews today - got to chase them upstairs to brush teeth...then off to the pictures!!!

Duly sent you some more bubbles
xxx


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## Mrs AB

What a bloody day!  Dogs and rain do not go together!!  My kitchen is stinking!!  Of all the days I decide to treat myself and get my hair done - its rains all day!!  Anyway, I'm going out tonight so there'll be no posting from me (collective sigh of relief).  Hally, thanks for the bubbles - I'm content for another wee while!

Hope you are all well.

Anita


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## wee emma

Mrs AB, that comment you made earlier about your cousin getting pregnant within their first week of marriage - mine got married less than two weeks before me (1 1/2 years ago) and are now expecting their second child...oh how sick i am of my family saying "your turn next!"
xoxo


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## crazykate

Hi Anita - you weren't out too late last nite - what happened 

Just a thought - does DH know there's a "Men's Room" below "Male Infertility sub board on the main page"?  It may be useful to him he may even want to sign in  Don't think there's men on it from here but seem to be a friendly and supportive enough group - as I said just a thought   My DH just reads over my shoulder 

Trying to do apple crumble before going to mums for tea - babysitting the foster children tonight so she can have a night out bless her she doesn't get out often.  Her's is a mad house 

See ya later! 

Kate


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## Mrs AB

Kate, those injections must cause strange side effects to the brain - I haven't a clue what you mean!!!  Why do you think I wasn't out late last night?!  Were you referring to my last post?  You've got me right confused!!   

Thanks for the tip on the men's thread - but I don't think DH will use it - apparently he's dealing with it 'in his own way' - which as far as I'm concerned consists of saying nothin and doing nothin.....

My night out wasn't bad - I was quite well behaved - even pulled!!  But obviously being a very faithful wife didn't act on it!!  Ended up giving the bloke a made-up mobile number just to get rid of him.  Oh, to be single again!  

Any gossip with you?

Emma - are you new to Fertility Friends?  If so, you are very welcome.  Yes, people constantly saying all those phrases really does grate after a while - chin up!!  Rise above it, me dear!! 

Anita


----------



## wee emma

yip, very new, really just nosying about the site and reading posts at the mo


----------



## Mrs AB

That's what women do best!  Don't know too much about IUI - there might be some other topics on this site dedicated to IUI.  Either way, I'm sure you're a little deflated at being told you have 'unexplained' infertility - that must be very annoying!  Because in theory it means that you are reproductively healthy - how are you coping at the mo?

Anita


----------



## wee emma

not too bad, i think i'm ignoring it, if you know what i mean. i have no idea how long i have to wait until i just get the appointment to sign the consent forms for whichever treatment we choose.

its hard for us because my DH has two little girls so most people seem to think that because he has them, that i automatically love them as my own..


----------



## Mayk

Hello Anita,
Good luck with your journey, and also to the other girls.
In reply to your query about Napro, we are also doing the programme (taking a break at the moment).
We also had an SA at Origin, who recommended ICSI, which we had with the RVH, which was negative.
When we sent the SA results to Dr Boyle, he prescribed Naltrexone for my DH - he said they have had 
good results with this - my DH issues were low count, low motility and anti-sperm antibodies.
We have tried lots of other things before going for the high-tech stuff are still plodding along.
Have a look at the rollercoaster board -www.rollercoaster.ie, there is a Napro thread on there, and on the Infertility Board (sorry!) there is thread entitled slow swimmers which gives some tips on improving sperm quality.  We also tried the Foresight Programme, their website is www.foresightpreconception.org.
-just a couple of suggestions.
Re: smoking, all avenues we have tried, Napro, RVH, Foresight do recommend you stop smoking as it is very damaging to the old swimmers!  Foresight also advocate a strict no-alcohol programme for both parents.
You sound like you're keeping you sense of humour about the whole thing, which is great, as it can wear you down - it's hard to keep hearing about everybody else's good news.
Best of luck with your journey!

May


----------



## Cate1976

emmaelizabeth, just wanted to say my cousin got married 2 weeks after DH and I.  His wife had their first baby March 05 and is now pg with #2 due March/April next year.  have sent you a couple of bubbles to cheer you up.


----------



## wee emma

thanks Cate  

have some bubbles in return


----------



## Mrs AB

May - ta very much for your post - what exactly does the NaPro programme do?  Do you find it helpful and how long have you been doing it?  

Emmaelizabeth - see you've been meeting new friends on the NI thread - you've been busy!!  Hope you're feeling a little better now that you have been talking to others who can empathise.  

Hally - come out of hiding and talk woman!!!!  Are you going to the Fertility Talk next Thursday?

Hello to everyone else!!!  Hope you are all well!


----------



## Mayk

Hi Anita, and everyone,
With Napro you monitor your cycle, and bloods are taken each month to measure levels of hormones.
You chart your cycle and Dr will prescribe drugs to improve hormone levels or identify a problem.
We did the programme for a year while waiting for our IVF treatment.  They can help with MFI issues also.  They have a slightly higher success rate than IVF, but again this depends on individual cases - their most renowned success was with a couple who had been trying for 17 years - who now have 2 children.  We did an IVF treatment in April and an NHS ICSI in October. I had dreaded the thought of it so much, but it certainly was much easier than I thought it would be (physically).  It's how you cope (mentally) afterwards which is a bit more difficult.  We're taking a little break at the moment.  You are right to have a think about it until after Christmas.
Did you find not find the acupuncture any benefit?
Best Regards,
May


----------



## Mrs AB

Hi May, thanks for getting back to me.  I'm very interested in NaPro - really because they seem to look at the problem - I'm hoping they might carry out further investigations on DH's problem to establish why his motility is so poor (only 8% moving well).  It's probably a little ambitious of me seeing as there's very little the medical profession can do to improve this.  I'm also hoping that DH giving up the cigs is going to help - I suppose I'm hoping for a miracle solution to our problem - because i'm really quite relunctant to go down the IVF route - I'm not sure how I could handle it if we weren't successful - you're right, the mental aspect is tricky.  I'm definitely going to contact them for more info - how did you manage monthly visits to Galway - that's some trek!  Did you find it useful?  Did they provide an explanation as to why it didn't work for you?

I'm sorry you're IVF attempts didn't work out - you're probably doing a lot of thinking at the mo?  

The acupuncture was very good for me - it shortened my cycle from 35 days to 32 and boy were my hormones on high alert!!  My chest was positively aching for about two weeks before my curse was due - but unfortunately it was to no avail because we didn't realise at the time that DH had the fertility issue and not me!  He did undergo acupuncture but the effects are short term and we didn't want to spend any more money - we had already spent £1,000!  Plus, DH was still smoking and I felt it was futile to continue if he was - I can only assume that his smoking is contributing to his 'problem'.  We are kicking the habit on 01/01/08 - I would like him to have a SA again after 3 months of quitting to see if it has made any difference - I think that is when we will probably make our final decision as to whether we will go ahead with IVF.  I would like to go privately - I just don't want to wait for another 2 yrs.  We've been trying for 3 already.  Enough's, enough!!

Do you know why your cycles were unsuccessful?  How is DH coping?

Catch ye later

Anita


----------



## Mayk

Hi Anita,
Did Dr Boyle reply to you?  Trips to Galway are only every 3-6 months - monthly bloods are taken at your own GP.  It is very good in terms of finding out about your own cycle, ie it helps you pinpoint your peak day (ovulation) just by observation (no temping etc).  They like to have hormones within a certain range in order to maximise conception chances.  It is tailored to the individual.  I'm not sure what they can do for MFI (apart from prescribing Naltrexone).  They also recommend DH takes Pycnogenol (an antioxidant) - you can get this in health shops. 
I know, we all hope for a miracle solution, but you will know yourself what's for you.  If you do decide to go, going privately is the best option, the hanging around is a killer - we waited one year for a public consultation (should have gone private in hindsight) and then another 5 months on the private list for our treatment (£3.5K).  If you decide to cut to the chase, Origin would be the best option (In my opinion).
We haven't given up on Napro yet, and hope to go back to it in the New Year.
You have to have a 3 month wait after IVF treatment ( I suppose for all the drugs to leave your system).  Dr Boyle is very good, consultations last about an hour - he does listen to you, and for me, I found it cleared up PMS symptoms and shortened cycles also.
My DH has tried lots of alternative remedies also, I'm sure the diagnosis is a blow to the ol' manhood initially, but at the end of the day, a woman's biological need for a child is stronger (imho).
Have a look at all your options - you will know what's best for yourself.  Hope this info. is of some help to you - if you need any more info., just mail.
Take care,
May


----------



## Mrs AB

May

Thanks for your reply - it was mighty helpful.  I'm going to give the clinic a call next week to have a good nosey before me and DH make any final decision.  Hope you are well.  Are you going to the talk next week?

JoFi - how are you?  Miss you babe!

Hally - thinking of you.

Anita


----------



## holly01

hi there may,just noticed u have done Napro,and wanted to ask u  few questions as we are currently on the prog,hope u dont mind 

how long did u guys do the prog for?and did u decide ureself to hav e a break or was that because u were going for ure ivf appt?its just that we have been doin it nearly a yr now and i am getin fed up  but am havin an op now in jan for query endem and blocked tube so hanging in there (only just)till then.....

we are due back down in galway in feb so see where we go from there

i am sorry ure attempts didnt work for u and DH, it is so hard to know where to turn when u have been trying for so long isnt it.hopefully 08 will be ure year,def these websites are a godsend to keep us sane eh  

hope to hear from u soon


----------



## Mayk

Hi Anita and Holly, 

Anita, no we're not going to the talk - I feel I'm a 'know-all' on the subject at this stage!  The speaker - Dr Traub is our consultant, and he is very direct - doesn't offer any false hope - he told us we had a less than 1% chance of a natural conception.  I hope you find it helpful.
Holly, no problems with any questions.  We did the Napro programme for a year and stopped then because we got our IVF appointment.  I understand you being fed up - it is very consuming, but hopefully if they have sucessfully indentified your problem, and the operation sorts it out - it will be worth it all.  I take it it's a laporoscopy you are going for in January?  Have you seen the Napro thread on the www.rollercoaster.ie board?  I know there are a good few encouraging stories on there, and I believe 3 people got their BFP's this month.  
Dr Boyle told us that once you have achieved effective cycles, it seems to work for most people on the 5th one.  He reckoned we had only had 1 effective cycle, so we are going to give it a few more attempts.  See what he recommends in February.  I hope '08 turns out to be your year also.  Feel free to mail me if you have any questions.  Very best wishes for your journey (and your op.)
Best Regards,
May


----------



## Mrs AB

May - haven't heard from you for a while - how you been?

Ritad - what about you?!

Come out from hiding you lot!

Anita


----------



## holly01

still here Anita     
we have nathin exciting for u sorry


----------



## Mrs AB

Holly - how nice of you to respond so promptly to my post.  And can I say what a very lovely name you have and extemely appropriate for this time of the year!

How are you gettin on with NaPro?  Dh and I have decided to go with the IVF route afterall - although I would still be open to the idea.

Holly - it doesn't have to be exciting - you can tell me anything you darn well like!


----------



## Mrs AB

May,

How are you babes?!  You've been very quiet this weather...

WeeJen - haven't heard from you in a serious long time!  How are you?

And Ritad!  Don't go thinkin I've forgotten about you, missy!

Anita


----------



## johope

Hi,

I am new to this site and was totally entranced reading all your messages.....everything that has happened to you is exactly the same as for me.  We have been trying for three years. I'm 32. Got shock of my life last May when discovered it was DH who had the prob.  The GP made a mistake reading my hubbie's  initial test.  I was convinced for years it must be a simple fixable prob with me. Doctor's kept sending me home telling me to relax and take a holiday. Only found out the shocking reality when a gynaecologist at a private hospital asked to see DHs results. The GP is still adamant that he read the result correctly and the consultant is wrong!!  Crazy!! Two more DH tests followed and both were poor.  We were given odds of 1 in 10 too. Similar to those I would have given myself in my early twenties of meeting Brad Pitt and riding off into the sunset.
I am still coming to terms with it in between large gins and glasses of wine.  Going to go all healthy in the New Year. Gosh, it is the New Year....will start tomorrow. The stress of it all has made me turn into Bridget Jones and that is no good. ICSI seems to be our best option but the thought of it not working scares the hell out of me. I am in Scotland so I think it must have been fate that I found your message board....feel so, so much better.  


Thank you for making me smile.

I'm sure it will all work out for us.

Jo xx


----------



## janners1

OMG that's exactly what happened to us!! GP read Hubby's results WRONG!!! It seems they cannot read those SA results correctly? Caused me a year of painful tests on me - a year that would have been better spent on IVF or ICSI.  

Go on to the ICSI section on this website and read all the positive stories. It will surely brighten your mood and outlook - it cheered me up for sure!

Good luck


----------



## johope

Hi,

Thank you. I can't believe that GPs can't read these tests when they are so important.  We had a meeting with the GP and the manager of the practice after the consultant told us he had misread it.  As you can imagine I was jumping mad and the situation was not helped by him sitting there going on to my DH that he also had a low count and miracles can happen because he now has two kids.  The steam was coming out my ears and tears were streaming.  I mean you'd have thought he'd have understood and read it right if it was a personal issue to him.  
Anyway, after that rant took your fab advice and went onto the icsi site and felt it might be worth a shot. Very uplifting success stories.  Lots of lovely twins. I would LOVE to have cute little twinnies.  My DH is a twin!
Thank you for replying.

Lots of Luck 

Jo xxx


----------



## Mrs AB

Jo!

There's me thinkin' my lovely little thread had become redundant and then you decide to leave a very touching and heartfelt post on it!  Jo, you are very, very welcome to post on this thread - please feel free to have a moan or a b*itch (I especially like to b*itch...) - I know how isolating and frustrating this whole 'infertility' thing can be.  

So, you found out last May?  Whaddya doing at the mo?!  Thinking about your options?  I agree with you, the thought of ICSI petrifies me too, well more the thought of it not working - and unfortunately that happens but as Janners has said there are plenty of success stories and we gotta hold onto those babe!!  It keeps us going!!  

Looking forward to getting to know you better.

Anita


----------



## johope

Hi Anita,

It is lovely to chat to people who understand.  Most of my friends have kids and to be honest I haven't said much to anyone...they must guess we're not finding it easy though.  I'm a secondary school teacher and everyone at work seems to be preoccupied with babies....had all sorts of rotton comments, the worst being "don't you know how to do it?"  To make matters worse if I eat pasta or bread my tummy swells up and I've had folk asking me if I have any happy news to share.  This has resulted in floods of tears. Might be honest with them all to get them off my back but up until now we have been trying to keep it as private as possible and put a brave face on it. 
I haven't started a treatment plan yet but we are considering going to the new Glasgow clinic for icsi.  My hubbie had lots of tests done privately and they founds varicoceles.  He had an op in October to try to fix this. The consultant said it was worth treating this before doing icsi.  Doing another sperm test end of January - all fingers are crossed.  
We have also visited Jan De Vries.  He is a famous naturopath.  Initially I visited him as I thought the problem was with me...it was really spooky because he insisted that there wouldn't be and kept asking questions about DH.  We both took natural supplements and DH also got acupuncture.  Jan de Vries is very convincing that he can cure infertility the natural way and I do believe that he can.  We have just been so down with everything that we haven't been consistent with anything.  Planning on going back to visit him in January.  

Jo x


----------



## Mrs AB

Jo

It's completely up to you and your DH as to whether you tell your family or close friends about your current fertility issues - to be honest I couldn't wait to tell my family - I felt a huge burden being lifted from my shoulders and it helped me to deal with the fact that having fertility problems shouldn't be a taboo subject and isn't shameful or embarrassing - my mum has been very supportive and even offered to help pay for treatment!!  She joked that she would then own a third of the baby!!  Humour Jo, is very important - a lot of people will only focus on the sad, depressing , frustrating and deeply emotional side of infertility - but in order to deal with this nasty blow you gotta laugh sometimes......it helps, honest!

You will have plenty of laughs on this forum - I also chat to girls on the NI Thread - some of the things we talk about would make your toes curl!!!  But as I said, a girls gotta have a bit of a release!!

Jan De Vries, eh?!  I've seen him on TV a number of times - he is supposed to be very difficult to get an appointment with - waiting lists and all that.  If you feel confident in Jan then go for it - put all your energy into it babe and then you'll know that you gave it your best shot!!  I tried accupuncture (wate of bloody time seeing as me DH had the 'problem'!!) and thought it was good - we wanted to try natural stuff before going down the medical route also.  Why not, says I?!  Can't do any harm!  And as you have proven, doctors aren't the be all - they can make mistakes too!!

Jo, you are entitled to feel down and angry and resentful and all those thousands of emotions that flood through you.  I think that once you decide on a course of action you might feel more in control of your situation and feel like you are doing something constructive to reach your goal.  I don't know about you - but I hated the feeling of helplessness but once you make decisions that feeling does lessen a little.

Hope this helps.

Anita


----------



## Cate1976

DH and I have told family and friends.  My family have been brilliant and friends have been supportive as well.  Dealing with the emotions can be difficult at times.  The 2 best pieces of advice were given to me by the senior leader of the church DH and I go to, he has been amazing especially the last couple of months since the IF really hit me.  The first was to find something positive to focus on and the other was that I needed to find a way through it.  The hardest thing for me at the moment is dealing with well intentioned but insensitive comments and the waiting for the appointment for our review to come through.  The latter will be chased up next week.


----------



## ritad

Hi Anita

Happy new year!
Haven't posted in a while but have kept up with everyone elses posts. I hope you're not too stressed without the ciggies. Alan Carr's book is supposed to be really good-my sister read it and found it really helpful.
I haven't had the best start to the new year on the fertility front. DH had phoned the RVH at the start of Dec and we were 14th on waiting list for icsi. I rang a couple of days ago and we're now 15th!!!!. The admin girl said that it might be because somebody had come back on the list after having treatment suspended for medical reasons. It was pretty disappointing all the same. She said generally speaking you do go up the list with an average of 3 people coming off it a month. Dr Williamson had estimated we'd have started treatment by Mar 08 so that looks highly unlikely now. Getting a bit disheartened because we made the decision to wait on the nhs go cos it wasn't going to take too long and now it has started to drag on longer than expected. With me turning 37 in a couple of months, I'm beginning to panic slightly about the time. I'm going to ring in a months time and if I haven't moved up at least 3 places, I'll scream!!!
Anyway-thats the moan over. 

Chat to you soon-here or on the NI thread.

Byeeeeeeeeee

Ritad


----------



## Cate1976

I've found waiting this long for review frustrating.  Initially I was told it's usually 3-4 months after SA.  When I chased it up I was told that our review is likely to be mid-end February which is 6 months after SA.


----------



## Mrs AB

Hi Ritad!!  Good to hear from you.  Alan Carr?  The comedian??  Not sure if I've got the right person.  At number 15, you're a lot bloody closer than I am - I ain't even on the blinkin' list yet!!!

Speak soon

Anita


----------



## Cate1976

Review appointment arrived on Monday.  It's with Dr Williamson on 20th February.  I just hope we get put on the list for treatment straight away.


----------



## Mrs AB

That's great news Cate - hopefully you can chill a little now!!!  My initial consultation with the RVH is on the 20/01/08 - God knows when we'll eventually be placed on the waiting list..... I won't hold my breath, that's for sure.

Anyway, me and DH have decided to do private and start treatment in either March or April, hopefully.  Can't wait.  I'm feeling very frustrated at the mo......fee like I'm in limbo.

A


----------



## johope

Hi Anita,

We are going to go for it privately in march/april too. I haven't made an appointment yet as I am scared ****less about the whole thing...I hate injections and have never been put under...I also have visions of turning into some sort of psycho girl!  I am going to make an appointment though cause  I think it will take a huge weight off our minds just to feel that we are doing something.  DH is to have another spermie test early feb to see if varicocele op has made any difference. I'm feeling much more positive this week.  Have started taking reproductive factors vitamins and cutting back on all the junk I like to munch.  I have also bullied DH into healthy eating so feeling pleased!
I think 2008 will be a better year!

Jo xx


----------



## CherryWoo

Hi Anita, Thanks for thinking of me! I often read this thread but sometimes feel a bit different to you ladies due to my early menopause & need for donor eggs- would have to go abroad to follow this option or do egg-sharing as there is now no waiting list for donors due to anonymity rules being lifted. Still really haven't got my head around not ever being able to have my own biological child (don't think that grief ever leaves). 
As you may remember DH has a really low sperm count too- we couldn't believe we were both affected but at least no one feels that stupid irrational guilt which I did at the start when we only knew about me.
Currently tossing on a sea of indecision  between intercountry adoption vs DE IVF- we're meeting a lovely couple who adopted a wee girl from China at the weekend, so I'm excited about that, but last week I was ready to submit a form for DE IVF in the Czech Republic?! 
My Hubby prefers the adoption route at the mo. An IVF baby would only be biologically his & he says that if it isn't both of ours, then it may as well not be biological at all. I think he is scared of how I would react to failed IVF too (and money issues). Sometimes I think I need the whole pregnancy/newborn thing & then other times I think that we could give a young toddler from overseas a great home- don't know how anyone decides this life-changing stuff!!
Had a real downer this week when a pal married in May gave birth to a wee girl- really trying to be a good person & be happy for them but can't help thinking 'it should be me, I've been married for 5 yrs!'. Not looking forward to buying a baby gift. I don't think my HRT is up to scratch tho which doesn't help the mood swings, so maybe a higher dose will help.
Sorry for the long email but it really helps to get out all this crap in my head out. Thanks again for thinking of me Sweetie!
Lots of love to you & DH xoxo


----------



## Cate1976

to you weejen.  Hard decision to make.  As for friends having babies, it is hard.  So many of my friends/family have had babies or are pg.  It does hurt loads.  I cried all through the dedication of the latest baby to be born to friends at church back in December.


----------



## CherryWoo

Hi Cate- another lady of my own fine vintage '76!! I'm really sorry to hear about your experience at that dedication. You are one strong lady for even attending- hats off to you Darlin.
I found out this diagnosis last Feb (I work in a lab so I found it out myself by looking up my result- nightmare!) & so last Christmas there & my birthday at around the same time were the first year I've known about it- I really hated turning 31 & the Christmas period when tinged with infertility. My wee plan in my head was to have the babies or be pregnant at 30 after big exams in my job & turning 31 was like- ha, ha so much for those plans idiot. 
The really weird thing is that I was always interested in intercountry adoption (after seeing a channel 4 documentary 'the dying rooms' when I was a first yr uni student in '96). It was about the orphanages  in China at the time packed with little girls. However, it's one thing choosing to adopt & a whole different kettle of fish not having the choice. 
Just noticed the time & must head- friends popping round in 5 mins- she has PCOS & so may have some fertility issues in the future (hopefully not) but always tells me about how often her periods come now etc.- Hello!! I'm never gonna have one of the b*ggers again thanks to menopause in my 20's- thank God for you Ladies for a welcome dose of sensitivity. OK- I admit it, I am a hormonal mess (ask yer Mums about it!)- just cried at a repeated episode of the Fresh Prince from the yr dot??!! I used to laugh at my Ma for behaving like that- the shoe is on the other foot now!!
Bye for now- you all rock & thanks again lovely Cate.
Jen xoxo


----------



## Mrs AB

Jen!!  I can't believe you've finally posted again!  It's great to hear from you - missed ya babe!  You've got some heavy sh*it going on at the mo pet.  There's me thinkin that picking a month to start IVF treatment was a tough one...... 

What can I say, you and DH have to go with your gut feeling - what is more important to you?  Being able to raise a child or giving birth to a child?  Not sure if I agree with your DH - if you use DE at least there is a biological connection to one of you.  What does your heart tell you Jen?  

You read your own file!  Beatch!!  Ohh, I'd love to look up my gory details!!!!

Jen - with you on the age 30 thing - I wanted my first before I was 30.  Ha!!!  I'll be lucky to have 1 for frig sake!!
Jen, please don't leave it so long next time - I don't care what you say, we mightn't be following the same infertility journey but we're still going through heartache babe.  xo

JoJo!!  We might be going for treatment at the same time!  Sounds good to me, at least we can moan to each other!!  I've never been under either - I find the whole thing very daunting - but I suppose we're just gonna have to take a few deep breaths and go for it, eh?  The end result will make it all worth while......

Anita


----------



## crazykate

Jo and Anita..........what are you being "put under" for?   When I had EC done at Origin the anaethetist just put the butterfly thingy in the back of my hand and gave sedation drugs which she could increase and decrease as required..............good stuff it has to be said. ET is just like a smear test nothing to worry about!


Kate


----------



## Cate1976

weejen, I didn't know the baby was being dedicated until DH and I got to church and our senior leader asked us to find the oil for putting on baby's forehead.  I was close to tears when we all gathered round the family and a friend noticed and put her arm round me which was my licence to    .  Whinged to our senior leader afterwards.  That was the day he told me I needed to find a way of getting through it and he was right.


----------



## johope

Hi Anita,

I can't believe it but got a natural BFP!  I'm still in a state of shock and not yet counting my chickens -2wks since test - but in three years we have never got this far! Was at doc today and it was quite surreal getting all the pregnancy leaflets. I actually feel really panicky. Terrified I'll wake up and it's all been a dream.  
Keep everything crossed for us.
Our stories are so similar just had to share some good news.  It seems to have happened when I had given up all hope.

Jo x


----------



## Cate1976

CONGRATULATIONS JO


----------



## Dahlia

Many congratulations Jo!!

  

Have a healthy,happy pregnancy!!

Dahlia x


----------



## Mrs AB

Jo

My goodness!!  Perfect timing!  Congratulations babe!!!

Anita


----------



## shoppingqueen

Fantastic news Jo!  MEGA CONGRATS!

Even better as was natural b4 you started tx!!

Wishing you a happy, healthy pregnancy

Take care

XXX


----------



## Fionab

Congratulations Jo.  That is really brillant news.  Let us know how you are getting on.

Fiona


----------



## johope

Hi,

Thanks girls.  Still in a state of shock.  Been v sick and exhausted so signed off work for a week. 
For those of you with MF probs this info might be useful. My DH went to a urologist for a scan cause he wanted every test possible to get to the bottom of his poor morphology, volume and count.  At worst it was 5ml at best 14ml so not great.  The consultant we saw at the fertility clinic said it was just one of these things and icsi was the only option but another consultant who dealt specifically with men discovered varicoceles. Apparently these cause things to overheat and it kills off spermies or makes them abnormal.  DH didn't even know he had these and there is conflicting evidence whether operating on them makes a difference but he had the op late Oct and it seems to have worked. (It was just day surgery so not too traumatic for him)  He was also seeing Jan de Vries and taking FORMULA IMN for morphology and Michaels reproductive factors.  You can buy both on line or order from Jan de Vries on the phone.  
Hope this info helps.  DH hasn't had another test yet so it could just have been a miracle.  It's bizarre cause we had a hellish Christmas and New Year.  My Gran died and DHs best friend also died, both from cancer.  It certainly wasn't stress free and I drank like a fish!  
I'm just hoping and praying that this little bean stays on board. When I skipped into the docs full of excitement my GP infuriated me by telling me all about MC and saying, "Don't worry if you got pregnant once you'll get pregnant again".  Clearly she hasn't spent three years peeing on sticks! 
Thankyou so much for your good wishes.  Will feel more relaxed when I get to 12 wks. At 7 and counting and praying.
Jo xx


----------



## janners1

I missed this somehow!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS Jo, that's amazing news!!!!!!!    

And thanks for sharing your story. My DH has very low numbers and I had ruled varicoceles out because I assumed he would feel them or know he had them. But now I see your DH had no clue he had them either. Would I have to get my DH referred to a Urologist to have him tested for this?

Congrats my dear and have a happy and healthy 9 months!!!!!


----------



## MISSY97

Congratulations jo

Hope everything goes well??

Missy xx


----------



## Caterpiller

Hi there
We've been through our second ICSI cycle (with us its male factor also, the problem has been motility and count on different SAs).
I'm in the middle of the awful 2 week wait, I go back to the clinic next week for preg test, fingers crossed!
Just to share some of our stories, my husband had a pain in one testicle after the Ist failed ICSI attempt and went to the GP; as there is family history of testicular cancer he set him up to have an ultrasound, this showed a varicocele and got referred to a urologist. I feel a bit angry that when there is a diagnosis of MFI that nothing more is done by the doctors in fertility clinics (seems to be similiar experience to others here!). If they referred all the male partners with fertility problems at least a reason for the problem in some cases would help, my fella felt so guilty about every pint he's drank and the fact that he smoked until recently. The urologist also put the focus on him which makes a change as everything is about the woman during treatment, no matter what the cause. Anyway he's going to have the op in a couple of weeks to remove the varicocele, no matter what the outcome of the preg test. The urologist said (and I think this is good general advice) that no matter what the outcome is from trying to get pregnant that you shouldn't be looking back in 10 years with regret and wished he's had a minor op that might improve our chances.
So best of luck to all you lassies and please send me a good luck cyber message! My advice is to speak up if you have uncertainties even though being labelled infertile is a huge blow to the self confidence, if you feel you're getting vague answers remember that doctors specialising in gynae/obs are not urologists!

All the best


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## Fionab

Welcome, caterpiller.  Come and join us on the NI girls thread.

We have just had second course of treatment and I'm also on the 2WW, with our test date being Friday 7th March (our first was IVF but it was zero ferilisation so they are trying ICSI).  You are right in that you want to try everything now rather than regretting anything further on down the line.  Hope his op goes well.

Fiona


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## Cate1976

Welcome to caterpiller.  As Fiona has said, come and join us on the NI thread.  As well as supporting each other through tough times, we do have some good ol craic.


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## Caterpiller

Thanks girls
Its great to finally chat with people who know what I'm going through. Most people have been great, but you do get a bit of the 'I'm sure you just need to relax about getting pregnant and it might happen' grrrrr. At this point who cares whether its male or female factor, its still a tough journey.
We're living in Dublin and had our treatment at the Merrion Fertility Clinic, anyone out there been treated there?
Will drop by again over the next few days and to the 2WW thread.
All the best
x


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## shoppingqueen

Welcome Caterpillar!!

Hope u get some support on this thread.  I found  it a lifeline at times

Take care

S

xx


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## Trishy

Huge congratulations Jo


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