# What could it be?



## AprilPearl (Nov 22, 2017)

Hello, I am new here. Not actually trying to conceive as I am only 19 and a half - but, I am desperately trying to find out whether I am infertile or not. It is my dream to have children one day, and the not knowing whether or not this will be possible for me is just awful (as I am sure you can all understand).

Bit of background: I started by period when I was about 13 and a half. I then did not have another period for a whole six months! After my second period, nothing.

I became anorexic 6 months after my second period, so I don't know whether or not I would have had another period if I had not lost weight.

I was anorexic from the age of about 14 and a half until 18 and a half. A little over a year ago, I went into treatment and I reached a healthy weight this September. However, my period has not started.

I have been to do many doctors and gynaecologists (NHS and private), but none of them can tell me what is going on. Since my period was so erratic even before I became anorexic, I do not think this is anything to do with having been ill. However, all the doctors just assume because of my medical history that it is because of the anorexia, and just tell me that my periods will start in a few more months of being at a healthy weight. BUT I KNOW THEY WON'T.

I have had so many blood tests and pelvic scans, but nothing out of the ordinary has been found. I thought it could be pcos, but apparently I show no signs of that. I am desperate to know whether I can have children.

Please, can anyone tell me what this might be? Or, perhaps recommend a good gynaecologist in the London area?


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## MadameG (Jan 13, 2012)

Hi hunny, so sorry to read of your struggles   Glad to see that you are coming out of the other side now and feeling healthier. 

I have had several friends (and my sister) that have struggled with eating disorders. For all of them, it had a massive impact on their cycles and took a long time for their periods to return - I think over a year plus for one. If you only just reached a healthy weight in September, your body is probably still in a bit of shock and you likely just need some time. I had a huge amount of stress when I was 22 and that alone stopped my cycle for 6 months, without anorexia. 

When you first start your cycles, it is really common for them to be erratic so I don’t think your first ones are really cause for alarm as you were so young and then poorly for a long time. I know it’s probably not what you want to hear as we would all love a quick fix, but you most likely just need time for now. 

On a more positive note, my friend who didn’t have cycles for years and years due to severe anorexia now has two children, the same with my aunt. Focus on making yourself happy for now and hopefully your body will start whirring again x


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## AprilPearl (Nov 22, 2017)

MadameG said:


> Hi hunny, so sorry to read of your struggles  Glad to see that you are coming out of the other side now and feeling healthier.
> 
> I have had several friends (and my sister) that have struggled with eating disorders. For all of them, it had a massive impact on their cycles and took a long time for their periods to return - I think over a year plus for one. If you only just reached a healthy weight in September, your body is probably still in a bit of shock and you likely just need some time. I had a huge amount of stress when I was 22 and that alone stopped my cycle for 6 months, without anorexia.
> 
> ...


Hi, thank you for such a thoughtful and kind reply.

I do have a question: is it awful of me to be contemplating having a baby now? I don't think I can live with the not knowing for years and years and the only way of finding out whether I can have one would seem to be to try. I am also afraid that if there is something wrong and if I do wait, then there may be nothing that can be done when I am older which could enable me to have a baby and then I'd hate myself for not having done it before.

I don't want to come across as an irresponsible young girl. But, this really does mean a lot to me. Having a baby is the thing I want most to achieve in life. If I had raised a child, I could die happy.


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## MadameG (Jan 13, 2012)

The decision to have a child is incredibly personal to the individual. Just bear in mind all of the physical, mental and financial needs that will need to be met. Your body really does need to be ‘happy’ before you should really consider it though. And you are a VERY long way away from being too old to try! If all of the second opinions you’ve had have said the same thing, you have your answer really. And if in six months plus there is no sign, there are meds that can trigger a bleed but I don’t think you are there yet  Xx


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## AprilPearl (Nov 22, 2017)

MadameG said:


> The decision to have a child is incredibly personal to the individual. Just bear in mind all of the physical, mental and financial needs that will need to be met. Your body really does need to be 'happy' before you should really consider it though. And you are a VERY long way away from being too old to try! If all of the second opinions you've had have said the same thing, you have your answer really. And if in six months plus there is no sign, there are meds that can trigger a bleed but I don't think you are there yet Xx


Thank you for your words  I'll try to keep positive. I have another appointment with my gynaecologist next month so I think I will try to be more assertive in asking for other things to be tested and for her to be more proactive in finding answers. Trouble is, she just wants to put me on the pill which would mask the symptoms but not explain or treat the cause which is obviously what I want - nor tell me if I can have kids. But, the NHS often just wants to minimise costs I think


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## MadameG (Jan 13, 2012)

The truth is, sometimes doctors can’t find the cause. We just don’t know enough about the body yet - fertility in particular. We wouldn't all be on this site otherwise!

The pill may sound contradictory but it’s not a bad suggestion. I expect you would stay on it for a few months and then come off. Otherwise norethisterone is used to trigger a bleed in fertility land. The only way to find out for certain if you can have a live birth is to try but it’s a good sign that everything looks normal so far. Digging further, from what you’ve written, is probably not really appropriate at this stage as you have not been actively TTC for over a year, which is the average length of time for a couple to conceive. Staying healthy (are you on a good multivitamin too?) and waiting for your cycle to return needs to be your step one.

I do think you just need to give your body time at this point. Creating more anxiety about the future isn’t going to help - be kind to yourself hunny xx


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## AprilPearl (Nov 22, 2017)

Yes, I expect you're right. No doubt I am being too harsh on the doctors too because I was hoping for too much.

I guess my concerns about the pill would be that 1) If I was on the pill, I wouldn't know if my period would have come naturally and 2) it may mess my hormones up even more (I have heard of people's cycles stopping once they come off the pill).

I am on lots of vitamins haha. I have osteoporosis as a result of the prolonged amenorrhea (another reason why I do need to get my period back if possible), so it's important for me to get extra vitamin C and D in particular. But, I am also on a multivitamin.


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