# When you lose your faith in medicine and doctors...



## Aley (Dec 13, 2016)

I don't know if many of you got to that stage but I did and it feels awful.

I am scared of going back for the review appointment. 
After my second cycle failed and I ask for tests and investigations the answer was in general 'if you want to'. I asked them about era testing and they were like, it's expensive, we're not sure... but if you want it!
I have never actually came across someone that had an era prerecetive or postreceptive so I am now wondering if it's really worthy.

When I asked about immune testing they said 'sure, we can pump you with steroids if that's what you want!' Again, the same, the more I read the more confuse I get. 
I then asked another consultant and the    outcome of that was the same. 
I am paying these people a small fortune and all they can give me is 'whatever you want'. I feel lost and not capable of managing my own issues and I don't think I should either. 

Sure there are women out there that become specialists in ivf but I don't feel like dedicating my life to ivf, becoming the next best specialist in human reproduction. I want the people that I pay to this for me, to give me directions and show me what is the best thing to do, of course it's probably my decision in the end but I want to feel I made the right one. 
It's such a pity that human reproduction became a huge business...and it's not even a well managed one as there are never enough studies, there is never enough evidence and there are still too many cases with a label of unknown infertility.
Am I the one asking for too much? I don't wanna sound like a spoiled little girl.
There are always other clinics and others doctors but I just feel they are all more or less the same. 
How will you manage if everything will be left for you to decide? 


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

If you are paying, then change a dr. Ifbyou are in the UK, go to dr. Gorgy. Dont waste your time with those people.


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## kittykat76 (Jan 17, 2016)

Aley I changed from my 1st clinic (London Women's) as they were like that. Everyone very nice but when I mentioned immune issues it was "Well you can try this if want"  when what I wanted was definite answers and to be told that I was right to be thinking along those lines. I moved to a clinic that deals with immunes and difficult cases. If want to stay with clinic for your treatment but look into other testing then Gorgy is the guy to go and seebut if you want to change clinic then there are several excellent one's depending on where you are based. Gorgy  isn't cheap but there may be underlying issues that are stopping you getting pg and it may be very simple to solve. I wouldn't keep ploughing down the same path especially as you are feeling delicate and like there is no hope but there IS hope, you just need someone to look at it from a different perspective.


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## aissha (Nov 3, 2009)

Just to say Aley, I am on my 3rd clinic... the first attitude was blinkers (let's ignore the fact that this is not working and just keep doing the same thing - IUI) then I went to the second clinic and they were the in the "if you want to, yeah" camp. my friend Dr. Google led me down some strange paths and they just went eh ok, every time.... (thanks in part to that I ended up with mild ohss on one cycle  ) and then finally I am with the 3rd... I was not convinced that they were much different, but they did adjust and justify their approach (rather than go with my crazy ideas). I was so unconvinced that I made an appointment with the Lister in London which coincided with the day I got my first ever bfp... 

So I did not continue with the Lister, but I was thoroughly impressed with the Dr we met. He seemed to be logical and actually understand my condition, agreed that the approach of my hospital was (mostly) in line with what he would do... for me it was 200 quid well spent, even if we didn't go any further, I felt I actually understood what was going on....

if you are not happy, it is not because you are wrong, it is because they are not the right doctors for you...
best of luck for your next step


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## Aley (Dec 13, 2016)

Thanks girls! 

Cosmopolitan, I did look into dr gorgy before, he is pricey but I hope it's like that for a reason. Unfortunately I don't live in the uk and travelling abroad can be difficult but definitely worth asking for an opinion. However uk will be my last resort. 

Kitty, my clinic too deals with immune issues and I've read very good reviews about them dealing with it which makes it even more confusing as in to why they are treating me like that. 
There is one more clinic in this country that is worth looking at and have good reviews so I'll go with that for now hoping they are not going to be another huge disappointment.

Aissha, I want to move clinics, my only problem is that I have one more embryo stored. I have no idea what to do with it. Move it might turn out to be either impossible, difficult or expensive...and it's just one. To tell them to distroy it sounds harsh and I can't stop thinking my baby could be in that lone survivor embryo. 


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## aissha (Nov 3, 2009)

I just came across this over the weekend and am going to try to take as many of these as I can

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0

personally if I was in your situation, I would get my supplements and alternative therapies notched up to the max and then do the last fet with the remaining frostie and go from there.... you would feel at least you threw as much as you could at it and then it would be clearer that something else needs to change (or else you have your bfp!!!   ) - - that's just what I would do, obviously you know all of the other factors for you, so make your decision based on what is best for you and your wife


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## Franny80 (Apr 10, 2016)

Hi Aley,

It's so frustrating isn't it? A lot of the time it all feels like trial and error and I still think there is still so much research to be done. I have PCOS and I think they don't fully understand the causes of it in different women. So they treat the symptoms rather than trying to get to the bottom of the cause. Same with tubes - so many people are told they are blocked, but get pregnant naturally (including myself). Unfortunately I miscarried, but as you can see from my signature it hasn't been straightforward. 

After my failed IVF I saw a couple of different consultants. All told me different things, but it was really useful to get different opinions. Although frustrating - it told me there was not an easy, obvious answer to any of it. You then have to go with your gut.

But, if you feel you aren't getting the service you want, then you should definitely switch clinics.

x


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## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

It certainly sounds like you are not at a clinic which matches the approach you are looking for. 
I'd be very wary about spending thousands with Dr Gorgy.  I have seen him and wished I'd not spent so money for the advice and treatment protocol didn't add up in my mind.  I was right I didn't need prednisolone,  immunoglobulin and  Humira. I only needed prednisolone taken from ET.  For some people taking prednisolone too early or when not needed at all can be a hindrance rather than help.  

For me I felt more comfortable with the biopsy, advice and second opinion I got from Professor Quenby and Professor Brosens in Coventry.  The problem with immune is no one truly knows the answer so can't advise a yes or no.  it's a personal decision you have to make based on your own research, understanding immune treatments are only at a research stage and gut feeling.  There is not enough formal research into immune treatments.  Professor Q and Professor B are at least NHS consultants with a research interest and the fee you pay them goes back into help finding proper peer reviewed research rather than funding an expensive London private clinics.  Too often it appears some private clinics prey on people's desperation to fund expensive testing and treatment with dubious evidence.  After all they are in business. 
TCCx


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## Hannah01 (Mar 17, 2017)

Hi Aley,

Don’t get disheartened, changing dr. might do the trick….sometimes dr. are not able to completely understand our case and provide sufficient answers. After my failed IVF acupuncture style therapy help me naturally conceive though it takes time


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