# New and desperate



## dmpink (Oct 16, 2008)

Hi
I am new to this site but have found it an inspiration already, just knowing I'm not alone is great. We have had one cycle of IVF as I have a blocked tube/s. We had two blastocysts put back in and got a BFP, and have two frozen. Got to the 7 wk scan to find no baby though, I must have had an early M/C. Devastated. Am now waiting to have my tubes looked at and either clipped or removed, maybe both, maybe just one, have a date in Nov.
It feels like I am always waiting for something, it feels like we are never going to get the baby we so long for. Everyone around me is pregnant, including my best friend. I wish I had been advised to get my tube done first as this may welll have been the cause of the M/C! Still, just want it done now. Any idea how long I will need to recover etc before we can start again with the FET? 
My clinic have not mentioned anything about a natural FET, how do I know if I should suggest this or not?
With my first cycle I put my life on hold and did everything I thought would make it work, I was scared to blow my nose and pick my cat up!! Am I mad, does it even make a difference?? One unhelpful GP, whilst reluctantly signing me a sick note from work, told me to not be silly and it wouldn't help at all. 
Thanks for listening and being there.. 
D


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## Maybethistime (Oct 20, 2008)

me too. I start my first round of ivf tomorrow on long protocol. Happy to swap experiences if you are?

Elaine


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## Maybethistime (Oct 20, 2008)

Thank you. Hoe are you getting on?


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## Maybethistime (Oct 20, 2008)

will do, goodnight. Also good luck for op


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Hi Dmpink!

Welcome to FF! I am glad you have found inspiration here, I don't know how I would have coped without FF, it has kept me (relatively) sane through all my investigation and treatment, the members here are always helpful and supportive.

Here is the link for tubal factors, perhaps the members there could give you some info about recovery time - CLICK HERE

For FET help and advice - CLICK HERE

I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I can't even imagine what you went through. Here is the link to the pregnancy loss section, the lovely ladies there will be there if you ever need to talk. CLICK HERE

I would also recommend the "what every new member needs to know" thread CLICK HERE

And for a bit of fun there is always the the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (*Wednesday at 8pm*) where you can meet other new members and a few more experienced (I won't use the term "old"!) members will be there to answer any questions you have about the site.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

There are also Location boards. You can find other people in your area (or even using your same clinic) and occasionally these groups have meet ups. Here is the link for the Bedfordshire section - CLICK HERE

I think everyone on this site has an experience of feeling that everyone around them is pregnant or has babies. It is difficult to deal with sometimes. I can't give you any advice on how to deal with it because I don't think there is an answer. I just deal with it as best I can.

I have only had IUI, but my consultants have said (on numerous occasions, because I have asked them so much!) that there is absolutely nothing I can do to improve my chances. Even if it would make a fraction of a percentage difference, then I would do it! They advised me to get my BMI down to within a healthy range and to think positively - nothing else! If I have time off then I start thinking about things, start wondering if I have a BFP, querying every twinge, thinking it could be a symptom, and all this just got me stressed so much so that in my first IUI I had several panic attacks, that couldn't have helped. So for the rest of my IUI's I haven't had any time off work and did things just to keep my mind occupied.

I wish you all the luck in the world for your operation and any future treatment. I hope the operation helps and you will get a BFP soon. Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and  if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together.

Sue


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## Just a girl (Mar 6, 2008)

Hi DMPink

Welcome to FF, you have found a great place for support 

x x x


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## Just a girl (Mar 6, 2008)

Thanks 

You need to go into the profile option along the top menu bar, then there should be some options on the left hand side and you click on the one that has profile information in then scroll down to the signature box and insert!  Well I think thats how you do it  x


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi dmpink 

Welcome i am quite new to fertility friends and i love it already!!

I am very sim to you i have blocked tubes and have just had both my tubes clipped due to hydrosalpinx which is toxic fluid in tubes which can cause BFN or sadly miscarriages i had a BFN first time round at care in manchester and now at the lister in london my cons advised me to have the fluid drained or affected tube/s clipped or removed so thats what i have done i am now waiting to start treatment and   i get that BFP this time round.

You should pop on chat its great on a night ill look for you.

love & & lots of  torexx


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi D

Thanks for your reply.

I had my operation on 7 oct i was told by my cons to have 2 wks off but my company was very kind and told me to take a extra wk   to make sure i was fully fit again so i am back to work next tuesday the op was pretty straight forward i was very tender for first few days but was up & about by the end of that wk i had day surgery they just made 2 small incisions one to the left of my belly button and the other on my bikini line and all i have is 2 tiny scars  am not sure about driving hun as i don't drive.

I am now waiting for final bloods to be done and i am   i will be starting tx on nov AF i am feeling alot more positive now since my op plus i work for JoJo Maman Bebe as a manager so i see pregnant women & babies all the time & alot are results of ivf so that keeps me going .

Take care love Tore   &


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## dmpink (Oct 16, 2008)

Thanks Tore

That is really usefull, I thought I might be off for a few weeks!, still my Dad is coming to stay with us while he recovers from his back op so I'll have some company while we sit about watching films etc  

I work for a private bank so I have kept everything to myself and time off is hard but at the end of the day my life comes first. Your job must be difficult all those babies, but like you say at least you get to see the results of tx. 

I am hoping that my AF will come at the end of Nov if all goes to plan, so should be not far behind you   What bloods are you having, as no one has mentioned this to me, is your clinic doing it or the place where you had your op? 

Love D


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi D

As i am doing eggshare again i need to have quite a few diff bloods done like hiv hep b & c and a few more i am at GP tomorrow with my DP as he needs only a hiv & hep b&c so going to get my outstanding ones done there also then i will just get copies of results and forward to my clinic my AF is due in a few days time but wont have all sorted by then so it will be in nov when i start tx it prob will be around same time as you 

How nice that you will have your dad to keep ya company enjoy the time off together feet up lots of rest ready for FET  

well need to get dressed lol and take a stroll to purchase some pregnacare from boots its 3 for 2 offer is on so ill stock up now.

Speak soon love Tore   & lots of   xx


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi D  

Just to say if you fancy a chat in lounge one nite pm me and ill be there.

Take care love Tore x


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## dmpink (Oct 16, 2008)

Hi Tore

Thanks for your messages, I feel so much better and so much more positive now  . It will be so cool to go through it together, we can swop side effects etc. Last time I got really bad night sweats, I was on the injections in the tummy with Burcellin, or whatever it is called  

I think it is amazing that you ES, really, that is such a wonderful thing for you to do  

I will pm you when I'm next on in the evening, maybe Sunday or Monday.

Hope your bloods go OK  

Have a good day and rest of the week/weekend, make the most of being able to have a few drinks while you can  

I had a glass of red last night after the hospital visit and it went down a treat  

See ya love D x x


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi D  

I am glad you feel more positive we can both   together for the   i must admit i am much more positive since having my tubes clipped to keep that NASTY hydro away from my embies.

Pm me when you will be on chat ill pop in  

I have always injected in my legs and always responded well that way so hoping will be this time round dont think i would like to in the tummy.

Take care hun love tore xx   &


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## michelleD (Oct 24, 2008)

New and desperate seems to sum me up nicely  

New to this site and so desperate to be a mum. So nice to realise we are not alone, and that all these feelings and emotions we are experiencing are common.

I too constantly feel as though i am waiting for something to happen. Its hard to remain in control and not let your emotions get the better of you. I often feel as though it will never happen , but am trying to be positive. 

Thanks to this website, we feel more positive and less alone. 

Good luck to you all xxxx


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi MichelleD  

Welcome to Fertility Friends   

I am a new member also & this website is a life saver so many positive outcomes from people on here to give all of us hope  

If you fancy a chat just PM me and ill meet you in chat.

Take care hun love tore xx   &


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## michelleD (Oct 24, 2008)

Hi Tore    
Thankyou. Its nice to meet others in the same boat as me.
Take care and see ya in chat! xxx


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## dmpink (Oct 16, 2008)

Hi Tore
Hi MichelleD

I have just been on for a chat and wasn't sure how I PM you, please help so that I can let you know next time?

MichelleD I feel the same way sweetie, I feel like I am never going to have children and it is just a fantasy, but then everyone tells me I will.   I am unable to offer any help to make those feeling go away, but at least we can share them with others that feel the same  

Are you starting tx soon?

Tore How are you? I now have a date for my op of the 10th Nov, cant wait to get it over with now, onward and upward..  Have you had your bloods back yet?  

Just thinking about the toxic fluid and am worried that it will still leak out, what do you think? 

How was it going back to work?  

Speak soon hopefully

Heres a terrible joke for you...a priest goes into a hotel to check in for the night and he says to the receptionist, 'I hope that the porn channel is disabled', to which she replies, 'no its normal porn you perv'!!!!  

D x


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## michelleD (Oct 24, 2008)

Hi dmpink

Still awaiting to find out about my referral for ivf. But i have been told that from december, the waiting list will be 18 weeks for ivf on nhs. Not sure if that makes me happy or more teriffied!!!!    

So busy preparing myself and getting in the right mindset.

Good luck with your op hun. It is nice to share this stuff with others in the same situation.

Nice joke!!!!!!  

xxx


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## Tore (Sep 3, 2008)

Hi D how are you hun?  

It was my first day back at work and i am shattered  

Fab news for the operation don't worry its all in your favour for the   so lots of   thinking   well my AF arrived today so i wont be starting tx till at least another 4 wks as we are still awaiting some blood results from our GP.

When i had my operation they could not remove the toxic fluid from my tubes due to the adhesions etc as they was very close to my bowel and other places so they just clipped both tubes and i was told they would not leak so i am   hard they wont.

Anyway hope to speak soon you can send me a personal message to let me know when your in chat you just do it from your profile i think lol

Love Tore   & lots of   xx

oops sorry HI MichelleD   &   xx


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