# Pregnancy and Parenting After Infertility - Donor Recipients - Part 22



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Here's a shining new thread for all the Pregnancy and Parenting chat.

Happy chatting ladies!

Please use the bookmark tools at the top if you don't have any chat to post at the moment as we don't want lots of ''just bookmarking'' posts please.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Please post any additions/changes and I will edit the page.......

Name                              DS/DE/Both            EDD or Birthday                Flavour/Name/Weight

ceci.bee                          DS ICSI                  EDD 11/04/11                    Joshua 6lbs 4oz

juju81                              DS IUI                    born 17/03/10                  Noah  Alfie  6lb 0.5oz

HellyS                              DS IVF                    born 28/10/08                  Emily    4lb 8oz  

Ju2006                            DS IVF                      born 29/09/07                  Girl        8lbs 2.5oz
                                                                      born  07/08/10                  Girl          9lb 8.5oz 

teresal                            DS IVF                    born 06/08/10                  Meredith Emma  6lb

Mighty Mini                      DS IVF                    born 05/07/10                  Lucas  Edward    6lb 7oz

pinkcat                            DS  IVF                  born 03/07/10                  Joshua  8lb 5oz 

Fizzypop                          DS FET                  EDD 29/08/11                      

carrie lou                          DS IUI                    EDD 26/05/11                      Zachary Stephen 7lb 7oz 

pippilongstockings            DS  IUI                    born 09/10/07                    Luke      7lb 11oz
                                                                        born 30/04/10                    Zachary 7lb 10oz

ALF                                  DS  FET                    born  May 08                      Girl    9lb 5.5oz

margesimpson                DS IUI                    born  June  2010                Boy 8lb 2oz

snoopygirl79                    DS  ICSI                  born 05/05/09                  Maisie  5lb 8oz  and
                                                                                                                    Chloe    4lb 13oz

Mistletoe (Holly)                DS ICSI                    born 21/06/11                  Charley 7lbs 14oz                    

Chrispx                            DS IUI                    born 21/01/11                    Girl 5lb 10oz 

Northernmonkey              DS IUI                    born 28/04/07                    Girl 7lb 14oz
                                                                      born 19/04/10                    Girl 8 lb 140z

Paws 18                          DS IUI                    born 17/03/10                    Boy 7lbs.  

Suze                                DS ICSI                  born 19/12/09                    Libby Pauline 6lb

Speeder                            DS IUI                    born Sep 09                        Little Speeder - Girl
                                      Natural                    born Dec 11                          Little Speeder - Girl 8 lb 5 oz

JanaH                              DS IVF                    born 25/05/11                    Joseph 8lbs 2oz

Sweetdreams73              DIVF                      born 18/08/11                      ID twins Matthew 3lbs 6oz
                                                                                                                                  Daniel 2lbs 13oz 

Amandaloo                      DIVF                      born 04/07/11                      Noah 7lbs 13oz


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pheobs glad everything is ok. At least u can relax now.


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## juju81

Just bookmarking















 sorry mistletoe couldn't resist!!!

Glad everything's ok Phoebs! U wait til u have an internal when in labour! I needed as and air for mine


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Juju


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## Rachfins

Pheobs - Glad you got checked and sorted out. x


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju  

Pheobs I didn't realise I was in labour til I was 3cms


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## carrie lou

Cupcake  Enjoying labour?  


I was induced so it was a bit of a different experience for me. I was transferred to labour ward having pretty mild pains, they didn't believe I was actually in labour cos they said the pains weren't strong enough - but when they examined me I was 4cm already


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## juju81

Loose goose       thats what I am now       Oh I knew I was in labour, I had contractions 1min apart 15 mins after my waters broke and do you know they werent doing anything           I didnt start dilating for about 14hours after     I'd like a cupcake/mini labour next time


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I had lunch through mine


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Sounds like you had a really easy labour Cupcake - you were obviously made for the job! Sadly many others don't fair so well.

My cousin's baby ''fell out'' when she put her leg up to get on the ambulance trolley. She had a few twinges, but did not think anything was happening. When she did realise, only after about an hour, she called an ambulance and the baby made an appearance, just like that.

Wish it was always so easy.

I did not even try as being over 40 I was told my risks of a complicated labour ending in an emergency c section were very high. Did not want to take the risk.


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## pheobs1

Thanks for all your support. I'm still not convinced. Used the pesserie Friday night. Went out for lunch yesterday and I was soaking. Big wet patch on my knickers. I've emailed my clinic, they are usually there on a Sunday and the consultant is amazing. The more I think about Friday night, the less happy I am. Firstly the young doctor came in and said was going to do the speculum but because of my place fa she was getting her superior to supervise. Next thing she is back on her own and does if with the midwife. Then when she finished she said she needed to discuss it with someone. The midwife told me that it was slightly creamy in there but very very watery so they weren't sure.  She said usually when we aren't sure we treat you as if if is your waters. So she left and I went to the loomand could see the doctor on the phone. Next thing midwife comes in and says there we go take this pesserie tonight, you're fine to go. I said is it ok to go for lunch tomorrow, she said yes cRry on as normal ifs just a discharge. She asked when my next scan was, I said 2 weeks and she said fine enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and I was out the door.
Any thoughts? I know they should know what they are doing but it doesn't gve me confidence when everyone I see says a different thing. For example a few hospital midwives and consultants have said the baby is breech and my community midwife keeps tellin mr his head is down? The consultant at my clinic said it should deff be a c section after looking at my placenta on the scans and then in the nhs hospital they tell me oh it will probably be fine!

Just waiting for my clinic to get back to me xxx


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## carrie lou

Pheobs it does sound very confusing. I'm by no means an expert on these things but I do know the placenta can move up and out of the way so they will be able to check this on the scan, and then make a decision whether c-section or not. They will also be able to tell then if baby is breech or head down. At 31 weeks there is still plenty of time for baby to change position so I wouldn't get too hung up on that for now.


As far as the discharge goes, I'm not sure - but if you are still worried and still leaking, then don't ignore it. Hope the clinic get back to you soon


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Phoebs - it does sound like you are getting lots of conflicting advice.
At least you have a scan booked, but like Carrie says, don't ignore it. Do keep an eye on your temperature and the baby's movements. I think you should go back and ask to see the obstetrician and not one of his registrars.

I was very wet in pregnancy and I think it is fairly common. I also used to have a problem with leaky bladder. After I went to toilet when I stood up urine would gush again. I learnt to roll up some paper and hold it in place while I stood up.


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## pheobs1

Thanks holly, I've had that with wee for a while, so I know that this is different. It doesn't smell like wee and they even told me it's watery/water like. Going with DH this morning to get everything for my hospital bag as I'm a big jittery now! If it's the same today and my clinic haven't got back to me I will ring the hospital again xxx


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## ceci.bee

Phoebs hun        sorry to hear this is still worrying you hun. When you next go in, insist on seeing a consultant - you are totally entitled to see one, as other doctors are all in training and not qualified specialists yet, and if you are worried you need to see a specialist. At 31 weeks Carrie is totally right, your LO can move all over the place - I was in hospital with one woman who they could not decide if to CS or not, as her baby was breech one minute and head down the next - just not engaged, and in the end she insisted on seeing the consultant and requesting a section, which she got, and her baby had the cord around its neck which is why it could not engage- she was right to insist and you are the advocate for your LO and your health, and sadly you need to push things sometimes. Your placenta can also move lots, and I would expect they would not make a decision about a section until a bit later in the pg - usually after 32 weeks or so.....thinking of you and hope they can sort you out and reduce your anxiety.

Am amazed at the discussion about enjoying labour - am sad missed out on the experience    maybe with \2 if we get that lucky - I didn't think that pushing a football through your cervix and vulva would be 'enjoyable', although the end result obviously is   

cupcake it is so nice to see you posting here as a happy mummy    so pleased it has all worked out for you hun

lots of love to all
Ceci  

Am amazsed


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I wanted to experience pushing him out and feeling it   bit got to 9 cm and couldn't carry on so got my trusty epidural  

Pheobs placenta can move.  Mine did.  It's too early to say c section. Number 1 was breech until 36 wks.  

I would push for a scan or examination tomorrow.


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## carrie lou

I was quite happy not to feel that bit  I think cos I was induced and had my waters broken, the pain went from "totally bearable, I can breathe through this perfectly fine", to "OMG this is the worst pain of my life" in the space of about 30 minutes  so I asked for an epidural and it was the best thing ever  


Pheobs - hope you get some answers


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## pheobs1

Hiya, thanks again for all your support. Well I read my notes last night and funnily enough they don't reflect what I was told or what happened?? The consultant from my clinic got back to me and she said it sounds like my waters to her, she said I need a scan ASAP and even if amount of fluid looks ok it could still be waters and they can use special sticks/strips to see if it's amniotic fluid. So don't know what to do. Not seeing my consultant until a week Thursday, can I just ring antenatal clinic and see if he has any appointments today? Xxx


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## hakunamatata

pheobs you must do what makes you feel better hun. i had a lot of wetness and lucacites in my urine so had swabs and checks and was nothing. hope you get a reassurance scan. 

cupcake love that you enjoyed labour.

have a friend popping over for baby in a bit but wanted to catch up. addi asleep in her swing. didnt realise how much you had all been chatting lol.

ju cant believe youve decided to go again, then youre lucky youre young. guess we'll have to make our decision in next few months. im thinking no at mo but.....


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## Fizzypop

Pheobs - if you are being fobbed off by the midwives, present yourself at A&E and get a scan once and for all. I'm pretty sure they can't send you away without treating you? We had a day assessment unit at our hospital wonder if yours has that too? Or what about finding a private clinic near you and paying for a scan? Makes me sooo mad that no-one is listening to you  

I know what you mean about the notes, that was one of my biggest bugbears and I ended up throwing a massive strop in the midwifes room about it!!


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## northernmonkey

Morning all


Loving all the labour stories. Best part of my second one was no internals cos we had no midwife - just my dh, mum and sister and a couple of paramedics who hid in my kitchen    Not sure whether I'll go for a home birth this time. It was perfect with dd#2 but I'm not sure if it would be as easy logistically with 2 other kids to sort out. Then again if it happens as quickly again I might not have any choice! 


Phoebs - Have you had your swab results yet? I remember when I was around 35 weeks pg I woke up one morning and thought I'd wet myself. I'd slept with knickers on and they were soaked, but actually round the back half way up my butt cheeks. I realised it wasn't urine and assumed it was just watery discharge. Fast forward to about 6 weeks after baby was born and it started again. A swab identified group b strep which doesn't usually cause symptoms but in my case had. I actually passed it on to dd during labour(that was only discovered when her belly button failed to heal around the same time I had my swab.). So I would perhaps ask them to check you for that.  Hope you get sorted soon, sounds as though you've been given the runaround. 


Having a nightmare time here. Since dd#2 had chickenpox she seems so run down and has had every virus going. I think she's getting her molars too so is a complete misery to be blunt! She's having screaming fits but refuses to be comforted so ends up rolling about the floor in a temper or throwing things around... She is quite temperemental at the best of times but she's really upped the intensity! Her big sister is a complete angel, so placid and sweet natured so it's all a bit of a shock to me!! I shouldn't be totally surprised cos my dad and I have awful tempers so I guess one of the kids had to inherit it!  


Juju- when's the open evening? I'm so excited for you. If they can get me pg first time aged 38 you'll have no problem! If you forget our cancelled cycle and the hycosy which you hopefully won't need, it cost us about £1200 in all so that might give you some idea of how much you need. 


Hak- good to hear from you, hope you're well.


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## pheobs1

Hi everyone, sorry for the me post but I'm still a bit knakered 
The consultant from my clinic got back to us and she said it sounded like my waters and to get seen and a scan ASAP. I phoned antenatal because my consultants registra had clinic yesterday and they said they couldn't fit me in, but ten minutes later the labour ward phoned me and told me to come in. I saw my registra, he took another look (ehww) and it wasn't so wet yesterday, but he said from my description there was enough eveidence to suggest it was my waters. He didn't take another swab as results we're back from Fridays yet. They sent me for a scan and there looks like there is still a nice amoun of fluid around the baby. So he said as it wasn't as bad for the last two days, he sent me home and I'm to go straight back in if it gets heavier again.
So I'm pooped today!
Also bit miffed because I have an appointment for a scan for my placenta in a week and a half and seeing specialist in previa straight after. The sonographer who scanned me said it hadn't moved at all and took it upon herself to cancel my appointment and make it for 6 weeks time grrr! I knew they were going to keep pushing it, but it hasn't moved a milimetre since they picked it uo at 17 weeks. Also just to be extra awkward he is breech at the minute - I know there is time to move, but his head is under my boobs and feet down by my placenta. I think he's probably been there the whole time and the student midwife just made a mistake thinking he was head down.

Well going to enjoy my day in bed. Will do personals later xxx


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## northernmonkey

Just a quickie, am on phone in car. 

Pheobs - glad you're getting somewhere at last. Take it easy.  

Cupcake - scan 1.30 today!!


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## pheobs1

Good luck NM for scan xxx


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## carrie lou

Good luck NM   


Pheobs - enjoy your duvet day


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## juju81

NM good luck hun, let us know   open evening is 2wks today. So do u have a different donor? Did that include drugs? That's not a bad amount to find (when nicks back working)

Phoebs, glad uve been seen. I wish midwives etc would listen to the mum, we KNOW when something's not right. Rest up. When do u finish work? Could u not get signed off now? They can't make u start ur may leave unless ur 4wks pre due date?


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## amandaloo

I forgot to bookmark I'm Always doing that on new threads thought it was quiet ! Will catch up soon got h/v here in a bit x


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## northernmonkey

Juju - no we used the same donor. I forgot to add the cost of transferring our reserved sibling sperm from Bridge to Complete. I think that was about £200. 

Scan went well today. Only one baby thank goodness-I was sooo relieved when she said there was just the one. Had a little cry when I saw it on screen - might be our third but just as amazing seeing it for the first time.    it actually feels real now! Might even get myself a ticker


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## carrie lou

NM    Yay! It's nice to know it's still magical even when it's not your first!


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## pheobs1

Great news NM, really pleased for you, so very exciting! xx
I am enjoying putting my feet up, still not sure what to do about work?  They have been marvelous and I am due to start working from home from week after next anyway.  THe thing is, I still have things I want to do and don't want to be house bound, but not keen on all the rushing around getting to work, etc.
Everything seems to be settling down now, touch wood, so fingers crossed.

I am loving all your gorgeous photos of your little ones on here xxx


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## sweetdreams73

pheobs - glad all settling down   , take it easy and if you are worried at all just take yourself to A&E...dont worry about work you and bump are far more important, hugs x  
juju - wow how exciting going for number 2, sure you will have no worries getting pregnant again x  
hakuna - hope all great with you and Addison? take care hun x  
Northern monkey - huge congratulations     great news all great with little one at your scan and can totally understand you being relieved about it not being twins  . 
will try and catch up when I can, hope everyone else is all ok lots of


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## pheobs1

SD - how cute, I'm swooning over you little ones x


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## pippilongstockings

NM - woohoo! Glad everything is looking good and there's only 1 in there    Knowing my luck we'd have triplets! Interesting to hear that your sperm transfer was only £200 too. Was it easy to organise? There's next to no chance of DH changing his mind unfortunately although we are both stubbornly refusing to bring up the issue! Nice to know though...


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## northernmonkey

Pippi/Cupcake - yes the £200 was for the courier. We could have done it ourselves but it would basically have been a full day travelling between clinics so we decided to give someone else the responsibility! Pippi do you think there's any chance if your dh changing his mind? 

Cupcake - no we won't find out the sex. We didn't find out with either of the girls but I'm kind of tempted this time just because if it's a boy I could get rid of all my girl's clothes before it turns up! DH really doesn't want to find out though so I'll leave it. Keep picturing 3 girls but I have absolutely no preference. There again I wonder how many cat fights we'd have between 3 girls...    


Sweet dreams - your little boys are so scrummy! 


Speeder - not sure if you're around at the mo or on holiday but how are things with your in laws now


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## pippilongstockings

NM - very little chance unfortunately    I'm going to bring it up this weekend and see if we can have a proper discussion about it. I'm dreading it though, I don't want to hear that final "no"    3 girls sounds great! Although a boy would be fab too, he would be so spoiled by his big sisters! I really have no preference for my mythical #3. On the one hand I'd love a little girl but I can see myself as a mum of 3 boys too. I think I'd probably have a better chance of convincing DH if I could guarantee a girl - he adores my niece and often says how lovely it is to have a girl in the house! Unfortunately we don't have the £20k+ lying about to spend on gender selection IVF in the US! (nor would I do it by the way   )
SD - gorgeous, gorgeous little boys! You are NOT helping my broodiness   
Argh, gotta go again xx


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## carrie lou

Good morning ladies  

Pippi - best of luck talking to DH  You never know!  

NM - you are bringing back memories of my childhood - I'm the eldest of 2 girls and a boy. When my mum was pregnant with my brother, my sister and I were both hoping for another girl and were a little disappointed when we got a brother instead  but we got over it  

Ladies what would you recommend as a good first pair of shoes? I think Z will be taking his first proper steps any day now    and I'm a bit clueless about baby footwear. Does he even need shoes yet?  Any advice?


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## pippilongstockings

Carrie - for #1 we bought properly-fitted Clarks shoes for the first 3 years. #2 had proper fitted Clarks shoes for his first pair and now I buy both of them Next or Sainos shoes - they fit just as well. If I'm feeling particularly cheeky I'll get them measured at a shoe shop then buy them funky shoes somewhere else. Clarks shoes are a bit boring IMHO


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## sweetdreams73

hello ladies, 
Thanks for the comments about the boys, we do get stopped a lot when we go out "twins" draw a lot of attention especially identical ones... and people always say how beautiful they are...of course me and DH think that all the time but we are rather biased...  ...its interesting as some people say ahh dont they look like DH...and me and DH just look at eachother and smile at each other and go oh yer!!   ...I think they look like me but not sure if thats just me wishing thats the case or not!! 

northern monkey - really hoping its a boy for you hun to add to your beautiful family...   x


pippi - good luck with that conversation really hope you can talk your DH around      .  I am broody have been since giving birth to the boys... I always dreamed when I was younger of having a family of 4 children (I am from a family of four - three lovely brothers) but thinking thats all rather unlikely now as my DH is well against going for number 3 even though we have 6 x frozen 5 day embies so would only have to do a FET not IVF again...nice to dream about having another one...   . my god is that how much it costs in USA to have gender selection  ....flippin heck...yep if could guarantee a girl next time for us maybe my DH might consider it...who know!! but like you say...wouldnt do it anyway...it seems all rather wrong to me...but thats just my opinion....let us all know how it goes..x  

carrie - just looked at shoes in next today for my boys (not that they are walking yet), they have some lovely pairs for babies pre walking and for todlers walking...hope you find some lovely ones that fit well. x  


hakuna - hope you and A are all good (love your pics on ******** she is just so adorable) are you managing to get out a bit more now? it does get easier as they get bigger and older!! although saying that, I still havent worked out how I am going to take M & D out when they start walking!!!   A good pair of reins for them both is a must for me!!! Otherwise I am going to have very long stretched arms!!   ...take care and hope to catch up with you soon, will try and call you when I get some spare time...x   

AFM - Tried to put a link on here to photos of the boys from birth when in hsp to now on my "photobox" page, but cant get it to work! Anyone know how you do it, tried the insert hyperlink and put address but when you click it doesnt work!  ?? 

Also what age are you girls planning on telling your DS and DD's about being conceived with the help of a donor? or are you not? I know you can get books from "donor conception network" anyone recommned them?  before I got pregnant I was all for telling the child and others, but now I am really scared stiff about it and dont know how and when to do it etc. We also have an option from xytex about getting a detailed profile about our donor with photos and a video message etc which I know would be good for the boys if they ever wanted to go down that route... but not sure I can cope with seeing all that myself and dont want to upset DH as well...not easy is it girls! 

Hope everyone else all good     xxx


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## carrie lou

Thanks Pippi and SD  I think I'll wait until he's walking properly (he's only doing about 3-4 steps at the moment) then get take him laong somewhere to get measured. It will be quite a milestone so will wait for a day when DH can come too.


SD - regarding telling little ones how they were conceived - yes we are planning to tell Zac. Personally DH and I feel very strongly that he should know, but that's just our own view. We have the My Story book from the Donor Conception Network which is nice and we've read it to him a few times. I am also working on a personalised version for him with photos of us and him. DCN also do a booklet for parents called Telling and Talking which I have found very useful and reassuring. It gives you ideas for how to broach the subject with children of various age groups, possible questions that might come up, etc. For me it made the whole issue seem much more "normal" and not such a big deal. Yes it may seem daunting at first but my hope is that the sooner we start talking to Z about it, the less of an issue it will be. He will just see it as part of who he is, not something to be worried or embarrassed about. We also used a Xytex donor and have baby and adult photos of him (no video I don't think  ) and my DH actually enjoyed seeing the photos, said it confirmed for him that we'd chosen the right one. Interesting how people have different feelings about that. So we will save the photos to show Z when he's old enough to be interested. One last thing, there is a sticky thread on here about telling the child and others, don't know if you have already had a look but it's very helpful. I know it's not easy but we ladies are all in the same boat and are all here to support each other. Best of luck with it honey


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## juju81

Oooh Pippi, tell him thats what your doing   


I'd love another boy, DH wants a girl    


SD, I know what you mean about telling.  In actual fact I was asking the "telling" page the other day how to start.  I'm just going to start showing him bump and baby pics and wait for him to ask in a couple of years time!! Come and have a read.


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## northernmonkey

Pippi - hope your dh surprises you and at least says he'll consider another. Are his practical reasons for stopping at 2 or does he just think 2 is enough full stop?


Carrie - ooh first shoes!! Yes definitely sensible to wait - but if you're anything like me you won't be able to wait to see him in his first pair. So cute! By the way if you have a shopping outlet anywhere near you there may be a Clarks outlet - we have one locally and the shoes are much cheaper. Or keep an eye out for their High Street shops sale, they knock loads of their prices.  Jones also sell Clarks and Startrite which are another good make, and Jones kids sales are always really good too. 


SD - if you're thinking about reins for the boys take a look at Littlelife backpacks. They are little animal patterned backpacks that the child wears with a 'lead' attached which you hold. I could never get on with reins and both the girls loved the backpack. It also means they can carry their own nappy/drink!  On the subject of 'telling', I agree it becomes much scarier the closer the time comes.  We bought the 'My Story' book which lives in a box of books in dd's bedroom and every now and then she chooses it as her bedtime story.  That's as far as we've got right now, we're just leaving it up to dd to ask more as her understanding grows.  I did have a slightly tricky moment when she wanted to take the book into school for Show and Tell....    I'm expecting lots of questions from her when she finds out that there's another baby on the way.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

It's Lucas'' fave book    he gets excited when he sees the baby and the pg woman. He points at my tum  

We got Clarks  shoes when he started walking.  start rite are nice.  First shoes are boring tho


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## juju81

We got Noahs from Clarks £10 in the sale    he has clarks for winter and converse for summer


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## juju81

Noahs donor is available on Xytex but we didnt get it from there.  I've thought about the pictures but for us, we don;t want to see!  I worry that I wont get his picture out of my head!!  Its going to be tricky with Noah because we are limited in what he can find out.  Its nothing unless I give him a print out off of Xytex


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Can't u import from xytex,


----------



## spooks

hope you're all well,
just popping on to announce the birth of our gorgeous baby girl, she arrived after a very speedy delivery - recorded time of 2nd and 3rd stage labour was15 mins      I really had no idea I was in labour - luckily Dh was a bit more switched on than me and kept telling me I was   and I was 7cms when examined! 
Another lovely experience but much more painful and intense than the first time. 
We're all doing well but it is hectic!
take care everyone and hope to catch up soon, love spooks


----------



## pheobs1

Congratulations! You know how thrilled I am for you, DH and baby spooks. Hole you are enjoying your beautiful family xxx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Congratulations Spooks


----------



## pheobs1

Yep think so!!!


----------



## Rachfins

Congratulations Soooks


----------



## Fizzypop

Massive congrats - cant wait to hear more on the labour!


----------



## carrie lou

Congratulations Spooks!      Wonderful news. I hope everything is going well, enjoy


----------



## amandaloo

Congratulations Spooks                  hpe you recover well x


----------



## northernmonkey

Congratulations Spooks, fab news!  Sorry am on phone and it won't let me put smileys on grrr. Hope big sister spooks is suitably impressed with her baby sister  Take care and enjoy your new family of 4. xxx


----------



## northernmonkey

Oh look at that, it changed my punctuation marks smiley into a proper one. Didn't know it was that clever.


----------



## Lindz

Congratulations Spooks, DH and baby spooks. Pleased to hear labour was a good experience  Hope you're getting some sleep


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Congrats hun. Can't believe your quick labour


----------



## ceci.bee

yay spooks that is wonderful news so pleased for you!!


----------



## hakunamatata

congrats spooks, abso fabo xx enjoy x


----------



## Ju2006

Congrats Spooks xx


----------



## *ALF*

Spooks, DH and DD1

      ​​HUGE CONGRATULATIONS​​ON THE ​​SAFE ARRIVAL OF​​YOUR DAUGHTER​​      ​​​Hope all is going well and DD1 is enjoying being a big sister  ​​Lots of love​ALF, DH and DD​xxxxx​


----------



## pippilongstockings

wooooohhooooooo congratulations Spooks!!


----------



## northernmonkey

Can anyone recommend a good Doppler?? I didn't buy one when I was expecting the girls, but I don't have many midwife appointments this time round and hearing the heartbeat is the bit I always got excited about so I'm thinking about buying one. Thanks ladies.


----------



## juju81

Congrats Spooks 


NM, didnt have a doppler.  Didnt get to listen to the heartbeat at my midwife appointments.  Said it wasn't standard policy anymore because it can cause undue stress     Can kind of see what they mean but I was really dissapointed   


We might have to miss the open evening.  DH has work and as he's been out for so long we need it.  Will def be going there tho and will make an appointment when we get back from holiday.  How long was the wait for an initial consultation?


----------



## carrie lou

I didn't have a doppler either. At all my MW appointments the MW always asked, "would you like me to find the baby's heartbeat?" as if it was optional (I always said yes please  ) so I guess it's not standard practice. I can see how it might cause stress but at the same time I'm sure it's nice to have one


----------



## ceci.bee

NM my friend Joely who posts on the NOA thread bought a doppler and it caused her masses of anxiety every time she could not hear the HB as her LO moved around. If you do get one, get your MW to teach you how to use it and find the HB and be prepared that sometimes you might not hear it but everything is still ok!

Ju how exciting you are thinking about TTC .2.................


----------



## northernmonkey

Gosh, I'm really surprised that checking baby's heartbeat isn't always done routinely now.  My midwife always checked it in both of my pregnancies. I understand the anxiety thing but surely it's an important indication of the baby's well being? Ceci, your friend's experience is exactly why I never bought a Doppler previously, maybe I'm kidding myself that I'm more laid back this time.   I'll maybe give it some more thought. 

Juju- if it's any consolation, we didn't go to the open evening because we were told that it was aimed more at ivf patients.  You'll have to get your gp to send Complete a referral for you though, you can't just make an appointment(crazy-why on earth would a couple be asking for donor treatment if they didn't have to!) I think what happened with us was that complete took our details, waited for the gp referral to come through then rang us back to arrange the consultation.  I had all my blood tests etc done in advance so we could get going ASAP after the consultation. I don' t remember waiting more than a couple of weeks for the consultation - I think if you're paying there's no hanging around.  Are you getting excited about it now?


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- I had to be rereferred by gp too took around a month before I got a letter back then when I rang up the next appt was around 3 weeks wasn't long. But I booked it for august as don't want to start until oct ish .


----------



## speeder

Just popping on (not to bookmark, I promise Holly   ) Haven't been on for a few days..

NM - glad you keeping well - I didn't buy a doppler as I think I'd worry I wouldn't always find what I wanted to hear!  It was always standard with my MW to listen in though (and it didn't take long to find!).  Do you think third time round you won't worry at all? I definitely worried less second time round but I was by no means relaxed....   

Phoebs - are you keeping OK now?  Good you got checked out and all was OK.  I guess, like me, you might be prone to increased wetness in the third tri. It's lovely huh...    can't believe you are next - it seems like yday you announced your BFP

I have to say that the internal exam I had when I was in labour was the SOREST thing in my entire life!!  I didn't realise it at the time, but the baby was nearly out, so that didn't help.  I could have kicked the doctor in the flipping face....

hello to everyone else - sorry for no more personals - laid low by this horrible cold going around - I feel like a man in as much as I feel incredibly SORRY for myself and pathetic even though it's just a bad cold (not helped by being up every night for both toddler and baby).  Off on hols on Sunday WOO HOO.

love to all, speeder xx


----------



## Lindz

Ah Speeder, hope you are getting some sleep and feeling a bit better

Just been out for a little drink with the girls so just a quick one for NM, I had a love/hate relationship with my Doppler but that was mainly due to trying to be sure I was picking up two rather than just the same one twice. I also found it incredably addictive and then scared myself that I was using it too much and it was bad for them somehow. Saying all that I have no regrets, DH and I had some magical moments listening to them both in bed and talking to them. DH was always much better at finding DD than me. We just had a cheap Angelsounds one off Amazon which was fine though only allowed one set of headphones and didn't have a display to show beats per min (would have helped us with twin identification but not sure you need). 

X


----------



## pippilongstockings

NM/juju - where is Complete?


----------



## northernmonkey

Speeder - no you don't sound like a man. They would never call it a bad cold, it would be anything between flu and pneumonia.    And they wouldn't manage to get up to see to the kiddies during the night either!  Hope you're feeling better in time for your hols - where are you off to? In answer to your question, I'm definitely more relaxed this time. I found the first few weeks difficult with no symptoms - was convinced something was wrong but I'm fine now. To be honest the thing i worry about most is how I'll cope with 3!! We told dd on Sunday. We were planning on waiting until the 12 week scan but couldnt wait.  She is soooo excited bless her, she was punching the air and just keeps talking about the baby constantly. She cuddles my tummy and talks to it.... So sweet. How are things with your in laws now??


Pippi - Complete Fertility is in Princess Anne hospital in Southampton.  Did you and your dh have that chat at the weekend??     


Lindz - thanks for the recommendation. How on earth did you manage to differentiate between the 2 heartbeats??!!


----------



## juju81

WHHHAAAATTTTT not sue I can be arsed to wait for my GP to write a referral. We didn't have to at my last clinic   god damn it   am I excited?? Yeah hen I think of baby names


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- wasn't that bad quick appt at gps to ask him to do it GP thought it was ridiculous that he had to rerefer too but had to be done . Don't think every clinic makes you do this but I know ours did .


----------



## northernmonkey

Juju my GP was fab too, sent the referral immediately then it was all go. That's the easy bit, it's all the flipping blood tests and swabs that I found a pain in the a**e. worth it in the end of course. 


Cupcake - deffo think you've earned some commission      Did your friend get a bfp? I'm definitely getting tempted by the Doppler, will take a look at hi baby. How early can you pick up the heartbeat?


----------



## Rachfins

nm - mw don't use them till your 16 week appt, so I wouldn't try much before then and they then say at that stage that it might not be easy to find.

Rach x


----------



## carrie lou

Cupcake - my GP didn't weigh Z either at the 6 week check up, I don't think they do so routinely, it's usually the HV's job. Also didn't examine me down below even though I also had stitches, just asked if I had any pain and if my bleeding had stopped. I don't think they would examine you unless you reported a problem. We had a 6 week check with the HV as well and she did the weighing, measuring, and so on. Glad little one is doing well


----------



## pheobs1

Hiya, I was very close to getting a dopler, I went through a panic attack phase around 20 weeks! I knew ultimately it wouldn't be for me, I'd get obsessed and more stressed! My midwife listened to HB at 16 week scan and at every appointment, sondoes consultant, not sure if it's different coz it's my first?

Really interested in knowing your experiences of pregnancy with your 2nd and 3rd babies. I often wonder will I be this super paranoid and worried with a second baby?
Xxx


----------



## pheobs1

I've absolutely loved being pregnant. I've been so very lucky with none of the nasty symptoms, I've not wished it away, I just think about everything I do...don't lift or do anything that most pregnant women wouldn't think twice about. I just wonder would I be as uber careful next time?
Xx


----------



## carrie lou

Ladies I need a bit of advice /reassurance - I'm a little worried about Zac and not sure whether I'm being an over-anxious first time mum or if I actually should be concerned...  

Basically it concerns his nappies. I change him at fairly set times during the day and usually they are pretty wet. But in the last week or so, there have been a few occasions when I've gone to change him and found the nappy totally dry. It's making me a little paranoid and I always put the nappy back on and check him again every half an hour until it's wet. On one occasion he went 6 hours without any wee   but usually it's more like 3 or 4 hours.

Is this normal as babies get older? Or should I be encouraging him to have more fluids? He has 3 BFs a day plus water with his meals and although he does drink this, it's not huge amounts. He won't often drink in between meals as he's usually far too busy playing. What do you think?


----------



## pippilongstockings

Time for potty training carrie


----------



## pippilongstockings

(joking btw)


----------



## carrie lou




----------



## juju81

I'd leave a beaker around for him to grab when he can. Funnily enough a girl in my office went to her HV about this as her baby wa doing the same but was told just to leave a beaker. U know he's drinking BM so I wouldn't panic xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - if he is not having heavy wet nappies you need to up his fluid. Are you yourself drinking plenty and eating properly and still producing plenty of BM?

http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/enoughmilk-older/

I'd up his wet foods too - yogurt, fruit, extra milk with his cereal etc.

If he isn't otherwise dehydrated then there is probably nothing to worry about. When C was ill recently he did not have much wee in his nappy even overnight and I was very worried. I was trying to encourage fluids but when his morning nappy was almost dry I was concerned and started really being obsessive about offering fluid. Normally his morning nappy is bulging at the tapes. But of course he was losing most of his fluid in D+V and had a very poor appetite at that time.

Do you offer drinks between meals? If it is a bit warmer (  ) or he is more active, he might need drinks extra to meals?

NM - I wouldn't get a doppler personally as Beanie's death was discovered with a doppler at my 16week appointment and I would not have wanted to find that out at home. I don't think I could have coped not being able to find the heartbeat with Charley. I'd have been going for scans all the time sick with worry that he was dead just like Beanie - but that is my personal experience. I could feel Charley moving from 15+5 so I relied on that. I also read something about the decibels that dopplers sound like to the baby in the waters. I don't know if it is true, but I would not for that reason either. But it's personal choice. 

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Holly for the link, that's helpful. I am eating plenty (permanently starving  ) but probably should try to drink a bit more, I'm not very good about that. He usually has 5 or 6 wet nappies per 24 hours, except for these odd occasions when he's been dry at a change. The day he went for 6 hours was quite warm (compared to what we are used to these days  ) so think that had something to do with it. He is always soaked first thing in the morning. 


He has a cold at the mo and has been off his food a bit so maybe that has affected his fluid intake.

I'll try offering drinks in between meals.


----------



## ceci.bee

Carrie have had a similar prob getting Joshi to drink enough living in a hot climate - I started to add a little bit of pure apple juice to his water and he loves the taste so drinks a lot more of that than if he only has water alone - and you can also start making drinks a part of playtime which i am sure he will enjoy.

xx


----------



## carrie lou

Gosh Ceci, it must be a much bigger problem for you!!! Thanks for the tip about the juice. I actually gave him some ribena this afternoon (very diluted) and he likes it, he drank nearly the whole cup over the course of the afternoon. 


He is just so busy and so mobile these days that he seems to "forget" to have a drink and even when I offer it, he doesn't have time to stay still long enough to drink very much! Also this cold he's got at the moment seems to be making the problem worse - having anything in his mouth (including the spout of his cup) makes him want to gag, so it's tricky. But I will make an effort to up his fluids.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Cutest thing ever tonight - have to share.
Even though C hasn't got any teeth yet, we have been ''cleaning teeth'' in the bath every night since he was 3 months. I have a little brush around in his mouth and then I give him the tooth brush to play with and he chews it. I have also been letting him watch me clean mine in the morning and letting him have his brush then.

I have recently started cleaning his teeth when he is wrapped in his towel. Well tonight after I had brushed his ''teeth'' and given him the toothbrush to use he brushed my teeth!    It was so cute him putting the brush in my mouth (waving it around and launching it at my mouth to be precise - he did get it into my mouth a few times) but it was lovely that he showed that he knows what it is for and is recognising same part of the body in someone else. He fed me a rice cake a few weeks ago and I also thought that was amazing.

I cannot believe how much he has learnt in the last few days. There has been something new at least twice a day for the last week.


----------



## carrie lou

Holly that is so sweet  I know what you mean, Zac is also learning things all the time and I'm loving this age - it's amazing isn't it! The other day I tried to brush Z's hair - he reached up, took the brush from me and proceeded to (try to) brush his own hair! He's also tried to brush my teeth, brush my hair and fed me and DH raisins.


----------



## Lindz

Awww Hlolly and Carrie, so cute and clever little boys

I was trying to explain to my friend (who doesn't want kids) why all the hard work and sacrifice is more than worth it but not sure I can. Keep getting those little moments where mine do something and it amazes me and I'm so proud and love them so much that I want to cry! Maybe im still hormonal? DS did it the other day when DD was crying and he wandered off and came back with her favourite toy pig and a grape (presumably found on the floor 
 to give her. Stil a pain when they are awake at 6am this morning though.  

On drinking fluids. I really tried to push mine to only have water in beakers but we had a bout of D +V where doc encouraged ribena which worked a treat at getting them to drink but now it seems there's no way back  
X


----------



## pippilongstockings

Lindz, it's not a hormonal thing - that feeling never goes away    It really does make all the hard work and knackeredness worth while. I get that feeling at least once a day with my 2, even though Luke is being a little so-and-so at the moment   

Carrie - could you try and get him to eat more fluid-y foods? Juicy fruits, cereal with plenty of milk, yoghurts etc. Z doesn't drink a lot, even though we give him diluted juice which he does like, so I try and up his fluid intake in other ways. He is also quite often dry for hours at a time but I think that's because he's ready for potty training. I'm ignoring the situation though, my baby is far too young to be out of nappies   

Holly - awwww, such a great age isn't it? It keeps getting better too


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ds1 has only just started drinking flavoured drinks.  He's so used to water.   I tried him with juice but he refused.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie u need to give water to replace his feeds.  Truly to incorporate the water into a mid morning/afternoon snack.


----------



## juju81

Noah won't drink anything but water! 

Pippi, really? Potty training? Noah's nowhere near ready!  

What about squeezy fruit smoothies? Noah loves them??!


----------



## carrie lou

Much better nappy day: I gave him juice (very diluted) in between meals as well as his milk and water with his food; he must have drunk a considerable amount because he had 6 very wet nappies today.  


I haven't tried him with smoothies yet- it''s a good idea. He usually loves fruit and yogurt but has been off his food a little with this cold.


----------



## spooks

when they're a bit older give them a straw to drink with - the result is amazing - DD drains her water in one go and we have to hide the straws sometimes.   
I had to show her how to use it by sucking/blowing on her finger to demonstrate


----------



## pippilongstockings

Oh yes, I forgot about the straw effect - even my 4 1/2 year old gets excited when he's given a straw   

juju - I know, I'm burying my head in the sand about it at the moment! He's faaaaar too little. Although saying that, Luke was out of nappies at 22 months. Still haven't got him dry at night though   

How are you doing Spooks?


----------



## northernmonkey

Flippin heck Pippi, that's early for boys!! Well done them! Dd1 was 2y 3m but dd2 is nowhere near ready.  


On the subject of drinks, I've always struggled to get dd1 to drink enough. She's like me and just doesn't seem to get thirsty. She's always begging for drinks of my tea though   


Thanks for all the advice about dopplers, interesting to hear different views.  I'm going to think about it a bit more thought...


----------



## hakunamatata

still here ladies and lapping up your useful tips, love ya all


----------



## juju81

Crumbs, we went so quiet I thought I'd lost my notifications   


How is everyone?


I'm on the countdown to my holiday


----------



## pheobs1

Me too! How is everyone? Well a little news...  I am the mummy to a tiny little boy! Hes a wee bit early so was a bit of a shock. He is in special care but doing really well. My placenta previa was a bit worse than anyone realised and I had big bleed and emergency section yesterday.
This is the most amazing feeling ever! I'm so in love with our little man! DH is mesmerised by him and seeing his face when he looks at him makes my heart melt. He looks nothing like me and everyine who's seen him says how much he looks like DH. Even DH said to me, he does look like me! 
Every second of pain, every injection, every ounce of heartache over BFN was worth it coz this is the little boy we were waiting for, he was meant for us.
Xxxxxx love from a very warm and fuzzy feeling mummy pheobs xxx


----------



## carrie lou

My goodness Pheobs    What a surprise! Must have been a shock for you but I'm glad to hear the little man is doing well. Sending lots and lots of     to you and the little one and hope you are both soon home safe and sound.    


AFU - my little man took his first proper steps this week  Up until now he was only sort of staggering a few paces at a time but on Wednesday the penny seemed to drop and now he is walking quite confidently all over the place. Proud mummy  His birthday is next Saturday and we're having a party, think I will be pretty busy organising everything. 


Lots of love to all  Hope everyone is OK.


----------



## Fizzypop

My gosh Pheobs, you have been thru it with this pg but so so glad he is doing well and you are too x

Carrie - are you having a big party? We are busy planning DD'd but that's partly bc it's a joint party with DH (40th!) and bank holiday weekend, do need to get stuff booked well in advance! 

My little munchkin has started crawling and furniture walking both at the same time...still no teeth tho!


----------



## carrie lou

Not too big Fizzy - find he gets a bit overwhelmed if too many people around and he's still so little really, so decided to keep it a bit low key for this year. We've invited four of his little friends from baby groups for a couple of hours in the morning, to play in the garden and have a little tea party. Then we have both families coming in the afternoon. But I'm making all the food myself (including TWO birthday cakes!  ) so probably going to spend most of this week in the kitchen  Not easy with a one year old constantly unpacking all the kitchen cupboards, eating the cat's food etc.


----------



## abcdefgh

Pheobs - Oh my goodness! Congratualtions!!   . Your post has made me feel quite emotional - that's fantastic  . Hope you are recovering well and that you all get home soon. xxx

Carrie - Aw, that's great to hear Z has taken his first steps. Hope you have a great day for his birthday next week! xx

Fizzy - Lovely that your little girl is also reaching some milestones! Sounds like fun. xx

Juju - I'm jealous! Whereabouts in Italy are you going? xx

AFM - I've been pretty busy buying lots baby things and starting to get her room organised. It's great fun but it all still feels quite surreal sometimes! I can't quite believe that I'll really be a mummy in three months time. Did anyone else feel like it didn't ever properly sink in during the pregnancy? xx


----------



## hakunamatata

abc i still feel like that and addison is 3 months now. such a precious gift. she rolled from front to back last week, boy was she shocked lol.

lovely to hear about our little walkers, go go go kiddiwinks

and wow wow wow phoebs, hes here how precious and truely wonderful. glad youre both well x                                .

yippee. and ju im so jealous hun, roll on centre parcs in sept. I too thought I had lost the thread x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Wow pheobs   congrats hun   I need a wright and name please   hope everything is ok  

Ju


----------



## juju81

Ahhh phoebs that is the best news         Yep my OCD needs a weight and name - take it easy chick


Hak, centre parcs is fab, I'm Jel of that!


Abcd, you tout of any names for your princess? I'm going on a euro amp to ca savio, on the venetian riviera, fly into Venice. Weather is shocking there at the mo tho so hoping it perks up!


Mini *finger*       


Cupcake, will you go back full time? Money is so depressing....we must arrange our meet    Look into tax credits hun


----------



## Lady-S

Hello,

I'm looking for a new "home". I've just been to serum for de and found out Friday I am pregnant!!! It's early days but my first hcg on Saturday (16dpo) was 472. Return tomorrow to test again.  Is this the right place for newly pregnant girlies? Other ladies I've cycled with (also de) need a home where we can openly talk about the next stage in our journey. Can they join too?

Love

Lady-s


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hi Lady S - Congratulations - this is the place for you - all donor recipients welcome as the title says!
Most of the ladies on here are donor sperm recipients, but it is definitely for all those blessed with a pregnancy or baby after donor gamete treatment. More the merrier!

Carrie - Charley is at the staggering two or three steps stage. It is so sweet isnt it. How long did it take Z to go from this stage to walking around?
He took 1 last Friday, 2 on Monday and then a couple here and there on Thursday at a friends. Then on this Fri he took a few wobbly steps to get from the teacher to me at baby sensory in front of everyone and got a bit cheer. And today going between furniture. He is standing without holding on quite a bit, sometimes not realising. He was going along with his trainer cup of water he'd found from where he dropped it at lunch, and was drinking and moving along the stools in the kitchen with one hand, stepping and letting go with one hand with the other holding the cup. I don't think he noticed that he was walking without holding much.

Trouble is other people don't realise that he can't just stand without being given a minute to balance before letting go. A neighbour's hubby was holding him earlier and then just put him down on the ground on his feet and let him go. He fell on his knees and then cried as it was a really hard floor. I was a bit annoyed TBH, but he did not know I suppose. I was holding his hand when we got in there, and I guess the guy thought he was more stable than he is?

Phoebs     Wonderful news! How many weeks were you? Hope all is well on SCBU.

Cupcake - I know what you mean. I've just been very brave and sent an email to my boss accepting a job in another specialty at my grade but 3 days a week. They would not let me stay in my specialty and do part time, so I was forced into leaving the specialty I've been doing for 10 years. I am trying to view it positively as my little man is only little once.
I've got a job the number of days I can cope with and at my grade. I am not sure we can afford living on my money at only 3 days with childcare costs, but we are going to have to try. I simply cannot imagine leaving my little man more, especially with weekend rota duty on top of any in the week days done. So we are going to have to manage. 
I long for another baby too and we would not be any question of being able to afford it if we had not had to spend so much on treatment. If I do try for another and the FET fails and we do another IVF, we will have spent well in excess of 20K. That could have paid for me being off on mat leave or dropping to 3 days a week, but no the clinic have it in their profit account.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

It's a shame everything comes down to money.  

Once they start walking they will soon be flying around.  Each day you will see a difference in strength and balence.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

We're getting the first smiles from samuel now.  
He also likes to be naked


----------



## carrie lou

LadyS - yes I think this is the place for you! Donor bumps and babies of all stages and varieties are welcome here. Many congratulations on your pregnancy, you must be delighted   

Holly - Z started taking a few paces about 3 or 4 weeks ago I think  We turned it into a bit of a game, so he would walk a few paces from the sofa to me or from me to DH, and then collapse on us, with us clapping and cheering him on  He loved it. Then very suddenly he decided he could walk without having anything to collapse on and since then there's been no stopping him! Sounds like Charley will be walking before his birthday too, well done Charley   


Cupcake - I too know what you mean. We are really struggling at the moment on 1 income so I am having to look for part time work. Like Holly though I really don't want to work more than 3 days a week as couldn't bear to leave Z for any longer than that, plus the cost of childcare wouldn't make it worthwhile. But I know if we want another child (and I do, desperately) the only way is for me to go back to work and save for it. It's so unfair to think that most people just have to stop taking the pill or whatever for a little while and before they know it there's a bun in the oven. But then I think we probably appreciate our babies a lot more because of what we've had to go through to get them.  


Abcd - oh so exciting buying baby things, enjoy it, it's such a special time. It also took a while to sink in for me, I remember being scared to say the words "I'm pregnant" in case somehow it made things go wrong   It all felt so surreal after wanting it for so very long. Gosh your pregnancy seems to be flying by, when do you start mat leave?  


We are taking Z to see the Olympic torch relay tonight, it's passing about 8 miles from our house so thought we should make the effort.


----------



## carrie lou

Aw Cupcake  I don't know if it's any consolation but you're not alone. I have had exactly the same feelings and worries. And I felt so guilty because after everything we went through to have Z, I felt like I should just be happy with him and grateful - and I am, of course I am! I just can't help wondering if I'll ever be pregnant again  and I want to so very much.


I've come to the conclusion that I just have to enjoy every day with Z as much as I can, live more in the present and trust that the future will work itself out for the best one way or another. I also wanted to savour every stage of Z's babyhood. But I can honestly say that the stage he is in right now is just wonderful. He is a chubby, gorgeous little man who walks and "talks" (after a fashion  ) and seems to be learning something new every day. It's phenomenal and so lovely to see. He is even developing a sense of humour and knows how to make me laugh  You have all this still to come.


I know you already know this and I didn't always do it myself - but just enjoy every moment honey, you have waited so long for this and you deserve to enjoy it. And you still have all these wonderful new stages of babyhood to look forward to.


----------



## ceci.bee

Phoebs hun I am so pleased you are finally a mum - although not in circumstances you would have planned but you and he are both doing well - that  is wonderful news and so good to see you posting about how adorable he is    yAY!

Cupcake hun don't feel bad for using this forum to vent your feelings, it is so normal and I think we all feel that way. I have to work full time at the moment, although I hope to go part time when I go back to the NHS, and it is so hard trying to put together the cash for a new baby and ideally a bigger house while trying to enjoy every second which seems to be flashing past          and the green eyed monster of a friend's pregnancy is never far away sadly. I also am loving every stage Joshi goes through and wishing each one would last, but then celebrating every new thing he does and that is parenthood. 

Holly I am so pleased you have sorted out the 3 day week option and I hope that DH pulls his weight a bit more to help with everything, and you enjoy your new team.

Mini - all little boys like to be naked I think - it is something about air on their bits    so sweet

all fine here with Joshi he is not quite walking yet on his own but practically runs when holding hands, and is saying a few words now, so adroable and making me so broody - sadly have to finish this job and get back to the UK - no more mat leave for me in my current job and no fertility treatments in africa!!! but at least we are saving living out here for more tx.....

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## amandaloo

Pheobs- you know I'm super happy for you all many congratulations again and hope you are recovering well x

Cupcake - it's hard isn't it regarding the childcare . I have to go back full time and I really don't want to :-/ I keep thinking im going to miss  out too much on him growing up but if I want another baby I'll need the money so no choice really :-/ . And just to add  I think I'll always be envious of anyone who says they are pg it's not easy being told when you know what we've had to go through or have to go through again 

Holly- lovely first memories eh  can't wait until DS can do same . Sorry to hear about the job not being what you really wanted

Juju- Owww sounds lovely . We are off to Dorset on fri for a week really looking forward to it hope weather holds out 

Carrie- enjoy yourselves tonight I'd be excited watching that . When do you go back to wrk I've forgotten? 

Ceci- oh  no when and  where will you move too in the uk ? 

Lady-s- welcome to the thread and congrats in your pg news bet your over the moon 

Hi to everyone else wish I had time to post to you all I've had to write this is stages ! DS goes to nursery for first time tomorrow it's just for 2 hrs hope he likes it . Off to Dorset on  fri looking forward to it. I go back to wrk in 5 weeks time trying to make the very most of the time I have left with DS . Really don't want to go back full time but need the money for more tx . Anyway will have to do it needs must . 

Amanda xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Cupcake - Get a grip     You asked us to tell you to! So there!!! Ha!

No seriously - we ALL have these worries and feelings hun. I savour everyday as it is so special. I write down every new thing that C does and review how far he has come in such a short time. Everyday he learns something new and grows up a little, and that makes me sad in one way and bursting at the seems with pride in another way. It is incredible when you think - I made that! I feel like the luckiest person alive to finally be ''in the club'' able to join in with society at last.

It does not sound like work is a viable option if it is so far away. Working more locally and part time would give you a better balance to life and might even be more enjoyable and better paid - you never know? You could consider all sorts of things. I don't know what line of work you are in and how much is available, but could you retrain or do some distance learning while you are off in a few weeks or months time to better prepare you for finding a new job?
I worried myself sick for most of my maternity leave and in some ways feel resentful towards work for not letting me just do part time in my specialty as then I could have forgotten about work for the year and enjoyed it. Instead I've had to worry, negotiate, job hunt, go for informal chats and basically lay awake worrying about leaving C and the money for months. I wondered if it would all get sorted in the end. I still don't know for absolute certain if my situation is completely sorted, but I hope so. I've done all I can for now and keep my fingers crossed.
Something will turn up. For now, just enjoy your bundle.
Do you think you are down enough to be assessed for post natal depression? It is very common. I never felt tearful or depressed. I've felt extremely depressed in the past so knew how it felt, and it definitely was not that in my case, but if you are feeling really anxious, tearful etc, maybe talk to your HV.

With regards to childcare, I've done lots of research and spoken to many people in childcare and personally I don't think nursery suits some babies until they are over 2. C is quite sensitive I feel. The one closest to us has a very bad reputation, so there was no way C was going there. I have an outstanding rated childminder with her own 3 children, one C's age. She goes to all the groups at the sure start centre and works closely with other outstanding rated CM's and all the children play together on play dates at each other's houses- the same children that C knows from post natal and play group. So I have no worries at all. He is already getting to know her and she is being a second mum to him as I've asked. He smiles great big smiles and puts his arms out to her. Home from home care and I need the flexibility of early starts and late finishes and weekends that nursery don't offer. If your train is at 8 and returns at 6.20, there is no way you can drop off and pick up at a nursery that only opens 8-6 that you have to drive to.

MM - my C seems to get to other people's houses and immediately strip off! He has a habit of needing a nappy after being in the car and he is a nightmare for crawling off naked when trying to change. When he was younger it usually leaked and it would be a full clothing change.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I have to go back full time just to make ends meet. Plus we had a pay cut do I have to make that up    not sure how I'm going to cope. I keep thinking I'd like a change but my manager is really good with time off etc so Id better stay  

Cupcake you will soon see how each new stage is so much better than the one before.  You'll soon forget the real baby stage.  I remember feeling upset when he grew out of the newborn Clothes   but having him walk and talk is so nice.  I'm loving the toddler stage apart  from The tantrums.   it's nice that they can tell u what they want. Tonight he pointed At a pear and actually said it. I didn't know he knew what a pear was   also being able to walk alongbthe road holding hands is the best!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ps Lucas loves nursery!


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## juju81

Cupcake I know i text you but just wanted give you a   like i said in my text and mini has just said, the next stages are even better than the last.  He ran up to nick earlier and handed him cake saying "daddy cake, yeah" and in the mornings he runs to the windiw and says "daddys van gone yeah? Daddy work?" its just the best


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## Fizzypop

Yep, although DD is only 8.5 months, it just gets better and better. The look of concentration on her face when she's trying to work something out and those chubby ickle legs trying to stand Jo and walk. Oh and the fact that she thinks I am the best/funniest person in the whole wide world  gush, gush, gush 


And the work thing - me too have to go back full time, partly for money and partly because I know that I can't do my job part time. That's why I'm taking the full year off to spend time with her upfront. Don't really know how it will work as my job involves long hours but DH will do nursery runs and mum said she can do emergency/sick runs and will also look after her one day a week too. Love my mummy 

Completely agree about paying for tx. Phoned our clinic today and they said its about £6k for full tx (eek) but if I donate eggs I can get it for free. Anyway, going to have the blood tests to see if I am suitable and discuss with DH for there...


Cupcake - don't waste time worrying about money. Yep it does make the world go round but you will honestly find a way to cope by making cutbacks here and there. I'm amazed and how much we've cut back and actually it hasn't been all that bad.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

cupcake - lucas wears my shoes!    the other day he was walking around in my high heels    Honestly the toddler stage is so much more fun than the baby stage. Dont take this the wrong way but i can't wait for samuel to get to that stage. Now i've got to the fun bit with lucas the baby  stage again is a bit


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## carrie lou

It's funny isn't it ... I spent most of the last year not wanting the "little baby" stages to end. But now that my boy is walking, into everything, learning so much - I'm loving this phase even more than what came before. That said, I still want to do the little baby thing again


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

It does all go so quickly. My step son is about to leave school and home and has a girlfriend etc. It only seems like a couple of years ago that he was only about up to my knees and DH and I were each holding a hand doing 1,2,3 jump with him along the road. Now he towers above me.

Make the most of every moment. It is all enjoyable and you never stop being a parent from now on. Even when they are getting their qualifications, getting a job, first girlfriend or boyfriend, home, marriage and babies of their own, it will all be so special. We now have a life ahead of us to look forward to that none of us ever thought we would have and we are so lucky. 

I wish I had someone, anyone, around who could help me with childminder runs, sick cover or childcare a day a week, but I don't have anyone at all. It is all down to me and if I don't reduce at work I think I will collapse. DH makes it clear that he won't help with it or the home. My parents in law live 2 mins away but have already said they can't/won't help as they are not fit enough, and my Dad is 60 miles away with dementia and health issues. I don't have any other family near by. I do have a couple of good friends who I am sure would step in if there was a dire emergency and they were free, but I can't ask them for anything regular. I just hope we can afford the bills and DH starts contributing something from his business to the household.


----------



## Rachfins

Pheobs - Congratulations on the early arrival of your son.           I hope he's out of the specialist baby care unt soon.

Rach x


----------



## spooks

apologies for the me post but...
I've put this on the parenting thread but was hoping someone here may be able to advise too

I was wondering if anyone could recommend a good sling for a newborn (to wear around the house) as I'm finding it impossible to get anything done and see to DD1 , I'm after one that you can breastfeed easily in. I'm not really sure how safe they are for newborns, any thoughts? 
(Holly - do you know anything about them as you seem very wise on all matters  ) 
Does anyone have the Kari-me sling? I quite like them as it says on the website they're used in hospitals for kangaroo care so I figure they must be safe.







anyone got one/ would you recommend one? 
thanks in advance, spooks 
(Can you sense my desperation by any chance  ) 
hope everyone is well and 
hope phoebs and baby are doing well  
love spooks


----------



## pippilongstockings

phoebs - congratulations              spin    Great news! I hope you beautiful son is home soon and your recovery is quick and easy    Enjoy every minute x

Just seen Spooks' post as I hit reply - try a soft sling like a moby. With a bit of practice you might be able to feed in that, although I never got the hang of feeding while slinging. I've got a connecta which is fab and very easy to use and also an Ergo (brilliant for older babies/toddlers) which I did feed in a couple of times when Z was small but it was never very comfortable for that. HTH xx


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## Fizzypop

Spooks - got to be quick. I've got the Kari-me and it's fab! To be honest I didn't use it for first few months because the length of material intimidated me a bit, but once I'd done it a couple of times it was sooo easy and wish I'd started sooner! You have to do it up round you so it's quite tight then it keeps the bubba nice and secure. No back ache/pain from carrying her either. When they are snug in there can bend forward etc and no worries about falling out (I've been on all fours trying with her on front trying to untangle dog from a bush!) - although not as good for that when they are older and a bit wriggly (if facing in).


While we are on slings, what back pack carrier would you recommend as DH wants one?


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## carrie lou

Spooks - try a stretchy wrap like the Moby. They are very good for newborns. Good luck   


Holly - I don't know how you do it all! My mum has said she will have Z one day a week if/when I get a job which will be great as he knows her well and she's fab with him. Hope your DH starts pulling his weight in one way or another, I'm sure it will work out OK


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Spooks, I'm not an expert, but I know a lady who is!

My friend is a baby wearer. She used a stretchy sling at this age called ''cot 2 tot'' and then moved on to less stretchy ones as the baby's weight increased.

Another lady in breast feeding support group found some fab slings by ''Victoria Sling Lady'' and she sells from £15- £20 or there abouts. Here are the summer stretch wraps, but there are lots of others on her site and lots of information.

http://victoriaslinglady.co.uk/Summer%20Stretch%20Wrap

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Cupcake if u are feeling down pop along to your doc. Don't feel guilty for feeling low. I'm back on my anti ds. I feel much better for it. Just need to sort out my sleep then I'll be do much better. Looking back to when baby was born I now know how down I was. I was at my lowest I'd ever been. And for some people I had everything. I never dreamt I would have 2 children and there I was wishing it sll away.  

But now I cann see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I don't feel guilty at all as its a life changing event plus sleep dep doesn't help and hormones. 

Spooks I don't have any advice on slings. How is dd with baby? Lucas is terrible


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## juju81

Cupcake looking back i think i sufffered PND.  It was def more than just the normal baby blues anyway. Nick kept telling me he thout i had it but i put it down to shock. I wish id sorted it sooner and then i maybe wouldnt feel so negative about the first 18months.  I do feel guilty when i think about how i felt then and that if id accepted and got some help i may have enjoyed those months with him. Do u know this has actually made me cry writing that down. 


I suppose at least if we were lucky enough next time id know the signs


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I never had baby blues with Lucas but omg I had it with Samuel


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## amandaloo

Cupcake- if your feeling down speak to your gp please don't suffer when you can get some tablets to help    make sure you speak to your family too as support is also a good medicine alongside tablets


----------



## Pootle77

Hi everyone,


  Haven't been on here for ages, apologies for popping up out of the blue again!


  Our little man is nearly 2 now and as of yesterday I started injecting for another cycle of IUI.  Last vial of sperm with this donor, fingers crossed!  Like Fizzy, we asked our clinic about me donating my eggs but my AMH was seriously low so I was not a suitable candidate, shame as IVF would have cost £650 for tests plus the money for sperm versus £6000 without egg sharing!  And I think IVF would be our next option if the IUI doesn't work.


  We asked our clinic for little man's full donor profile and received so much more info than we ever thought  we'd get.  Kind of weird but nice to have the incase he asks questions in the future.  We've been reading him the My Story book from the DCN and regularly tell him how he came to be, hope we're doing it right!!


  Lovely to be back and see familiar "faces" and see how all your little ones are doing.


  Xxxx.


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## Fizzypop

Hi Pootle - good luck with this cycle! Hadn't even thought about low AMH and all of that, ah well, appt booked at clinic for 20th June so all will be revealed. Would have liked to try IUI but only 3 vials of sperm left with this donor. Perhaps I should ask if more available to buy and go down that route...


Did you ask clinic for the donor info or HFEA? I think we are same clinic if I remember? Bourn Hall?


Hope everyone is enjoying the sun. I remember this time last year wishing for a nice cool summer because I couldn't stand the heat!


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## carrie lou

Hi Pootle, don't think we've "met" but wishing you all the best for your cycle! Very exciting. I would also love to donate my eggs and have considered egg sharing. I conceived on first DIUI last time but may not be as lucky again and like Fizzy we only have 3 more units of sperm. But then with IVF there are more risks and complications, so maybe I should stick to IUI again ... such a tricky decision  Oh well we aren't starting again for another few months at least so I have time to think about it!


This time last year I was double checking my hospital bag in preparation for going in to be induced!!!


----------



## ceci.bee

Pootle lovely to see you back hun, and fab news you are ttx for no 2, your LO looks gorgeous and so sweet in the pic!

Cupcake hun, always worth having a chat with the GP about how you are feeling - although we all have an internal barometer about how bad we are feeling it can get skewed especially by sleep dep and hormones, and worth having someone objective to chat to

Mini sorry you have been feeling low after Samuel's birth, how are you feeling now?? 

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## spooks

hello everyone  and thanks for the replies about baby slings 


> I've been on all fours trying with her on front trying to untangle dog from a
> bush!)


   

*juju*   I still cry real tears when I think of how I 'failed' to know baby spooks wasn't getting enough breast milk from me and ended up back in hospital, but she's oblivious to it all so why it still affects me so badly I don't know 
and as you say


> I suppose at least if we were lucky enough next time id know the signs


I'm sure you would and it'd be easier 2nd time around  
*mini* - DD is really good with baby (at the moment), I've even spied on them when she thinks I'm making dinner, and she's very caring towards her - the age gap helps. However, DD has become very demanding of my, Dh's and Grans attention! There's always somoneone to play with her exclusively but no matter what we do it's never enough. Her toileting has regressed a little too  which I've read is normal - but so annoying - she was coming out of night time nappies 2 weeks ago and now she's holding in no.1's and 2's and doing them in her sleep.
I feel very anxious about little things this time round, and things which I can usually brush off bother me. Also paranoid about letting DD go out with DH or my mum if I'm not with them  
DD was eating her lunch in the garden by herself yesterday whilst I was seeing to baby and I started crying my eyes out thinking how lonely she looked ( I was only about 10ft away from her through the open patio door!   ) 
love to everyone    spooks


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Spooks I cries over the same thing


----------



## northernmonkey

hello everyone,
I'm making a third attempt at posting - lost two long posts over the last couple of days    so am keeping this one short just in case...

Pheobs - massive congratulations to you and your dh on the arrival of your little boy.  Must have been pretty scary for you at the time but you were obviously well looked after.  How are you both doing now?  Hope your little boy is well enough to come home soon.   

Cupcake - how are you feeling?    It's surprising how many ladies to seem to have some degree of baby blues after having our little ones.  I was never prone to feeling down before having the girls but I've certainly experienced it since.  I felt really fed up just after Christmas and couldn't understand why when I had everything that I'd once thought I'd never have.  Anyway, I started to wonder whether I could be depressed and found an NHS online depression questionnaire which I completed and it scored me as moderately depressed.  I was so relieved to know that there was a reason I'd been feeling like I had and could do something about it.  Do speak to your GP or even your HV if you don't feel yourself soon.    

Fizzy - when are you hoping to start tx again?  I would find out if you can buy some more sibling sperm if i were you then you can really consider your options.  I can't remember how many vials we had when we were planning to try for this baby but I bought a few more, because knowing how stressful the tx is I didn't want the extra pressure of knowing that we could only have a couple of attempts then knowing my luck it all be sold out so to speak! 

Pootle - Hello!  Good luck for #2!  When is your next scan?  Can I ask what kind of donor info your clinic sent?  We've got very basic details of ours - height, hair colour, profession and interests and I can't decide whether to ask for more now or wait until the girls ask.  I think Carrie also contacted the HFEA as well as her clinic and they sent her even more info on their donor.

Holly - how on earth do you do it all??!!  My dh is a total rock and I can't imagine how I would cope without his support and I don't have a parent to look after! Does your dh not even help with Charley's bathtime/feeding etc?  Do you have any siblings who can help with your dad?

Hi to all you other lovely ladies,  hope you all have a great weekend in the sunshine!  I've decided I need to move to sunnier shores - I'm a much nicer person when the sun is shining   

speak soon,
NM


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## Fizzypop

NM-big debate in our house at mo! I would like to have one go before I go back to work, but DH is non-committal saying that he sees how much people struggle with 1. To be honest, if I pushed he would go along with it but am going to initial consult on 20th and see where it goes from there. Good idea on buying more  


We have just got the letter back from HFEA. It's very detailed - DD has 3 genetic half brothers (only girl!), it includes a personal statement, personal message. Oh and apparently he got good grades in his exams (and is training it be a pilot). Woo hoo, hope she gets the brainy genes 


Hope everyone is enjoying the sun and the babies are not too hot and bothered. DD coping well. Someone in our NCT group has just been diagnosed with chicken pox so am hoping DD doesn't get it before her christening on 10th....


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## carrie lou

My little man is 1 today!!! I can't quite believe it. I feel so lucky and happy.  


Off to enjoy the day now. Hope everyone is well


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## Fizzypop

Happy birthday Z! Hope you have a fab day.

I can't believe how quickly time is going


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## Rachfins

Happy birthday Zachery   Where has the last year gone to?

Rach x


----------



## northernmonkey

Happy birthday Zachary, hope you're having a wonderful time.  You too mummy and daddy, the 1st birthday is soooo special.   


Fizzy - I guess at least you know your dh definitely wants more, it's just a question of when.  Yes it's more work but double the fun once you're past the first 6 months or so...  How did you apply to the hfea - just a letter? 


We're off to pizza express now with the in laws for fil's birthday yum yum then tomorrow we're going to Bournemouth for the day.  I'm so excited - ice cream and fish and chips by the seaside, thank goodness the morning sickness has all but disappeared and my appetite is back   


Enjoy the rest of the weekend. 
x


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Another happy birthday to Zac on this thread - have a wonderful 1st birthday - just think you can have honey, runny eggs, cows milk to drink and lots of other yummy things now!

  

I have got some photos we had professionally done last week and uploaded some of them to photobucket.
Password is professionalmay12
http://photobucket.com/professionalmay12

/links


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## Pootle77

Happy birthday Zac!  Hope you've had a fantastic day.


Thanks for the welcome backs!  Ceci, that photo must have been taken around the time you had Josh, so it's a tad old, feel a bit odd adding a more up to date one as he's very distinctive with his glasses at such a young age and I worry someone would recognise him, even though it wouldn't matter if they did, because to be looking on here they'd be in a similar situation to us!

Fizzy - yes, we're with Bourn Hall, Cambridge.  I had my AMH tested Nov 11 with a view to egg donation, received the bad news it was too low and it's taken us this long to actually make the decision to do another cycle.  I think I was traumatised by little man's birth and needed to get my head round that before starting again and DH and I have had problems with my low sexual desire so we've been working on that too.  Now we're ready I'm 35 and scared witless it's not going to work this time round!  We have one vial of sperm and as far as I understand there is no more to buy so if this round doesn't work we'll need to be matched with another donor and buy more sperm, scary stuff as then siblings won't be genetically related.  Three vials sounds like loads to me!!!!!


Fizzy and NM - I'd asked the clinic a couple of times for the info, but only got the basics, so put in a formal request addressed to the donor co-ordinator for all available info.  They rang to say we were entitled to sibling info but we didn't want that at the moment, will ask in the future if little man wants to know as we feel that's his info.  Clinic sent us the donor profile which gave date of donation, country of birth (he's not English!), personal message, medical history (he's had clamidia!), education info, reasons for donating.  Kind of blew us away!  My Mum keeps saying she can't believe her grandson is Danish!  


First monitoring scan on Monday.  We went out for a meal last minute tonight, I remembered my drugs pen, but forgot the needles!!!  So had to leave before dessert with me in a panic that I'd messed everything up.


----------



## Pootle77

Think that reply got too long, couldn't get the cursor back on the iPad!!  So here's the rest...


Juju, Mini, Cupcake and Spooks - hope you're feeling ok.  The professionals were convinced I had PND after little man, I refused to go along with the diagnosis but think they may have been right.  Certainly struggled, and still do sometimes, crying for failing him by not being able to breastfeed, for him being born prem, needing glasses, especially when someone asked if his name was Biggles   , not being able to have babies like everyone else, particularly when everyone asks when we're having number 2.  I want to say, when we've got the money together for treatment, would you like to make a contribution?


Hope everyone has had a lovely day in the sun and aren't being too traumatised by watching Eurovision!!


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## Pootle77

Thank you, I think so too, but may be rather biased    He's considerably bigger than that now too, when I get on a proper computer and reteach myself how to resize pics, I'll prob update it!


Hope you're doing ok, not sure we've "met"!


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## Pootle77

He, he, sure you're not annoying Hun!  It will be me if I get pregnant this time, know too much about what can go wrong after hanging out in NICU and SCBU, will be petrified...


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## amandaloo

happy belated 1st bday  Z sorry for late post I'm on mi hols in Dorset couldn't have picked a better week 

Pootle- your little boy is adorable x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hazel pics are lovely   

Pootle can I ask why he wears glasses? What was it that alerted u that sometime needed them? He's totally gorgeous   

Carrie hope z had a fab time and u weren't too    

Ceci I'm fine now hun. Tablets have reslly helped. Thank god.   they reslly help me to cope and stop me bring so stressed and anxious.


----------



## juju81

Happy belated birthday Z. I'd have come on sooner but I was at some old bint's (mini's    ) for the weekend and couldn't get Internet signal   


S is adorable   


Pootle, that is what I say to people! He's lovely, bless him


----------



## JanaH

OMW I haven't been on here for so long.


Congrats to all the new additions and the expecting mums.


Carrie happy first birthday to Zac for yesterday. 


Our little boy turned 1 on Friday and we had a party for him yesterday. It was a gorgeous day with all our NCT friends and all other friends. He has grown up so quickly, he started walking at 11 months and moves fast     His such an easy child, makes me wonder if we have another would he/she be the same. 


I started work 2 weeks ago, luckily only 3 days a week. Joseph got spaces at the nursery on-site, which is so convenient.  


Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday evening.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju -   

you should of said you had no flipping internet, i'd of given you my password    Anyway my company was enough


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## Pootle77

Mini - he had his 6 week check (at 12 weeks!) and they thought he had a squint so referred us to the hosp, had his eyes checked, no squint but very long sighted so he got glasses at 4 months old.  Felt bad I hadn't realised he couldn't see, he didn't smile til he got his glasses    Always blamed it on the donor but now we have the info he has no eye probs at all, so just one of those things!  Glad your meds are helping.


----------



## juju81

Ha ha, it was quite nice not having Internet access actually. I clearly need to go to internet anonymous  

Ah bless pootle. I have a friend who had twins and her little girl has just been given glasses and a patch. I think it looks cute. Did u have any probs with him keeping them on?

Janah, wow, a yer already?! Flys by. I hate to say it but I found the 2nd year went even quicker


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## ceci.bee

Carrie and Janah - happy birthday for your little men - it is so exciting isn't it but really time is flying by!!!

Mini so pleased you are better now hun     

Pootle can't believe someone said that about your liitle boyu    honestly people can be so mean!! he is totally adorable and so much luck with ttc number 2

cucake hun lovely to have you posting and being part of the group - don't go away again!

AFM DH and I celebrated 5 years wedding anniversary yesterday - so lovely he took me away to a lodge in the tea plantations high up in Malawi and we had a fabulous time - will put some pics on the blog in due course - there are defo some compensations to living in Africa sometimes!!!

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ceci 5 yrs. it's all down hill from now on  

Pootle. I didn't think about the smiling thing and eyes. Me and dh have rubbish eyes. Especially me. I had glasses at 4 yrs. I need to get ds1 checked. Bit he seems to have eagle eyes. Especially around biscuits


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## carrie lou

Hello all  

Pootle - can't believe someone was so mean about your little boy!  For what it's worth I think he is gorgeous   

Ceci - happy anniversary! 5 years, wow. Sounds like you had a lovely time.  

Jana -   to Joseph! Glad you had a good day. I hope work is going well.   

Hope everyone is well especially Pheobs and baby and all our pregnant ladies     

AFU - had the most wonderful day on Saturday. We invited a few of his little mates from baby group for a party in the morning, had the paddling pool out in the garden to make the most of the lovely weather. Babies all seemed to enjoy themselves. After they'd gone there was just time to put Z down for a nap before the families arrived for the afternoon. Z was a little star, didn't cry or grumble all day even though he must have found it all a bit overwhelming (his face when we were singing happy birthday to him was priceless - like "what the hell's going on now?!"  ). FIL behaved like a total   , you wouldn't actually believe me if I told you what he did, but I'm pleased to say all the other guests completely ignored him and didn't let him get in the way of our lovely day.  Z was a very tired but very happy little boy by the evening. He got some really lovely presents too. My goodness babies' birthday parties are quite hard work aren't they! I will remember this next year and make DH take the day off before and after to help me  

We are taking Z shopping next week for his first proper shoes


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Go on tell us what fil did this time


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

It is unbelieveable - she told us on the parenting thread - I'll let Carrie tell you !
 at him is the only response.


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## carrie lou

After about 20 minutes of making it abundantly clear that he'd rather be anywhere else (sulking in a corner, refusing to speak to anyone, grunting any time someone tried to talk to him), FIL went out and sat in his car and fell asleep. It was parked in full sun and must have been stifling but apparently he found that preferable to spending time with us at his grandson's first birthday party. Someone had to go out and wake him just before we did the cake (though I would have been quite happy to carry on without him  ) and they went home soon afterwards.


I can't waste any more time trying to figure out what that man's problem is, because it's just that - HIS problem, not ours, and HIS loss. We have a life to get on with and a little boy to enjoy.


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## spooks

carrie, our fil's would get on so well! The car incident is typical behaviour of my FIL, you know you said he implied he had another secret family somewhere - perhaps it's mine       
I've been dealing with my inlaws for many years now and I'm actually at a point where I can honestly say that nothing they say or do surprises me or even bothers me anymore - you will reach that point soon too snd it feels like an enormous release when you do. 
When they came up to see the baby for the first (and only time!  last week) they spent 2 mins looking at her and 28 mins in DD's room (just mil and fil) and we were all in the lounge (including DD) then they went home       and that's only half the story because FIL made a whole series of demands on us in advance of his visit - got to feel sorry for him really.
 love to all


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## Pootle77

JuJu - generally he's a little star and keeps them on, think it comes from having them so young!  They've only been thrown twice, once in a tantrum and again when I was telling someone about the tantrum, he looked at me as if to say this is what I did and threw them again   


Carrie - glad you had a lovely party, even if FIL was a total prat!


Jana - happy birthday to Joseph.


We kind of get used to comments about little man, 'cos he was so small and tube fed to start with we got comments all the time and then the glasses doubled the number of strangers who felt it was ok to come and stare at my baby.  Few and far between now thankfully.  You won't believe the number of people who ask why he wears them, well, something to do with why adults wear glasses, have been very tempted to say it's because he's deaf and then keep walking...


Hope everyone is well. X.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Because he's deaf


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## ceci.bee

Carrie and Spooks your FILS are unbelievable         spooks it sounds like you have got a good bit of zen going on now about them which is great. It is sad that the person who misses out of the relationship is your babies, which is so sad, but they have got you guys to make up for it!! I am totally at the opposite end of the spectrum my FIL gives me endless guilt trips about taking J away from them to Africa and they are literally counting down the days (18 months) until we move back - and think then they will try to move into our small flat in London to see more of him!


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## speeder

hello   

sorry been AWOL - got flu, went on hols, got sinusitis, meant holiday not great, came home! sleepness nights ruin your health I have decided (although it's DD1's fault now, not DD2)

so much to catch up on!  

Holly - I loved seeing the pics - your little boy is so gorgeous - beautiful big eyes. Was that you holding him in one of the pics and, if so, what conditioner do you use to get your hair so shiny...

Carrie - can't quite believe your FIL and as I've said before I wonder if he's not quite normal? I am amazed you let him in the house.  I'm so glad it didn't spoil what sounds like a lovely party   

Jana - can't believe your little one is a year old too - hope all is well   

Hi Spooks - how is it all going juggling the two DD? Your FIL sounds a bundle of fun too.  What were they doing in DD's room?! Are you getting much support? Sleep? Thinkking of you x

Mini - glad all is going OK.  hope you aren't too anxious - you know I can sympathise there!    Mine has died down but still likes to come back and bite me on the bottom most weeks   

DD2 is just waking up so just popping on to say hello   

Can anyone remember what age babies start to "babble" more? DD2 will be 24 weeks this week and is a very quiet little baby.  She makes nice cooing noises still - ooh and aah and sings but no real "ah goos" or anything like that. She is the complete opposite to DD1 (and me!) who chatter non stop - she is still v smiley and happy - but not sure if I need to worry about her quietness?  You know I like to worry!


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## carrie lou

Speeder - Z was 7 months and a few days when he started babbling. I remember exactly because it was New Years Eve and we were on Waterloo station waiting for a train, when he suddenly opened his mouth and said "rarararara".   So I think your little one is still quite young if that's anything to go by. Don't worry  

Holly - lovely photos  such a beautiful little boy  

Spooks - your FIL sounds like a right  too. You have my sympathy! Why do people have to be so difficult?  I do think I've reached the point now where I really don't care anymore. FIL has behaved so badly over the years that I have zero respect left for him - so how can I let anything he says or does bother me. It feels good to say that  

Pootle - "because he's deaf" - that did make me laugh  

Better go, someone's ready for a nap - hope everyone is well


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Speeder - I use Tresemme Moisture shampoo and conditioner.
Also have chocolate brown colour in hair - when that is first done it is very glossy.

Thank you for the lovely comments on the pictures.

Does DD definitely hear? Although they do say even hard of hearing babies babble normally for a few months.
My DS - I've written in his read book that he was saying eeeeoooo when DH was trying to tell him how to say hello at 16 weeks.

They all do things at different rates, if you are worried about her hearing do speak to the HV, it can be tested easily - my DS had a repeat hearing test because of the jaundice.


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## Pootle77

Speeder - little man didn't start babbling until about a year, nearly 2 now and just getting first words, according to the speech therapist he's delayed but you can't make them talk!!  The only thing she said was to get hearing checked to be on the safe side, no sign of our referral coming through tho


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## Redkay75

Hello Ladies mind if I join you?

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with a baby girl from a donor egg and DH sperm and am just starting to feel her move and realise that not only am I pregnant but we're gonna be parents in a couple of months to an actual baby! Treatment was done in IVI in Valencia with support from CRGW near Cardiff.

To say I'm elated and constantly smiling is an understatement.

K x


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## Rachfins

Hello Redkay, 

Oh course you can join this thread. Congratulations. it's fantastic to finally be pregnant. I'm 28 weeks today with my eggs but donor sperm. I hope your pregnancy is going without any problems so far.

Rach x


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## Redkay75

Rach, all good so far not too much nausea, etc. but my back is starting to suffer had sciatica a while ago and its giving me issues but apart from that a very easy time so far. How you feeling at 28 weeks?

K x


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## Rachfins

Redkay75 - Glad your not having very many problems. I'm not too bad at all really. Heartburn is my main issue. Slight back ache occaisionally. I would suggest sleeping with a pregnancy pillow at night to help your sciatica. I'm using the Dream Genii pillow and and have found it very helpful  - I did wake up one day with terrible back ache and almost ran to Mothercare to buy the Dream Genii pillow. I'm tired but that could be from waking up at night and going to the loo and sometimes not getting back to sleep beause it is light and the birds are tweeting.

Rach x


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## carrie lou

Welcome Redkay  and congratulations on your pregnancy! Good to hear things are going well. I also had backache almost constantly from about 20 weeks onwards, but as Rach says a good pillow can help. That and get your other half to give you a back rub!   


Rach - wow 28 weeks! You're into the 3rd trimester then, very exciting. How long do you have left at work?


Hope everyone is well.   We took Zac to Clarks over the weekend and had him measured for his first pair of shoes, he is size 4.5.   We bought him a little pair of sandals, he looks sooo cute in them but think he's having to adjust his walking style a bit cos he trips over quite a bit in them.


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## ceci.bee

carrie that is such a lovely moment hun - Joshi now loves his shoes and walks much more confidently in them - I think they help provide a bit of stability. Joshi will walk everywhere now holding onto something, but we can't get him to let go of a hand/wall/walker - any suggestions from anyone? Mum just says he will do it in his own time    I am not worried but just want to do the right thing for him.

RedKay welcome and congrats on your pregnancy -fab news

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## Fizzypop

Carrie - we went to get DD measured for first shoes (the cruising ones) and her feet aren't big enough for them, lol! The way things are going she will still only fit cruisers when walking properly. Wouldn't really be thinking about shoes if it weren't for being outside more in the summer - her feet are getting filthy from pulling herself up.


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## carrie lou

Fizzy we never bothered with cruisers, Z just wore socks or bootees - these are the first real shoes he's ever had! But then he learnt to pull up and cruise over winter and we weren't really going outside at all.


Ceci - I'm not sure but I imagine Joshi will just do it in his own time. Once Z was able to take 2 or 3 steps without holding on to anything, we made a bit of a game out of it, getting him to walk from me to DH and back again, with lots of clapping and cheering to encourage him (he loved it  ) and gradually DH and I moved further apart so he had to take more steps. Then one day completely out of the blue, he decided he didn't have to hold on at all and he was off! I'm sure Joshi will get there soon, don't worry


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## juju81

Ceci, Noah was 16months when he finally walked without us. Don't worry. Every baby is different. He will just do it one day. Noah just suddenly let go on the toy box and off he went!


We got Noah cruisers just to protect his soft feet. Fizzy, have you tried start rite or next even?


Welcome redkay. I feel like I 'know' you as I was stalking out the IVI thread for my friend    Welcome hun


My friend announced she was pregnant today, will class her as a best friend. I felt sick and dizzy and wanted to cry. I've just told nick and found myself getting choked up. I haven't felt like this since I miscarried. I'm distraught. I never thought I'd have these strong feelings like this again and we already have Noah but I feel exactly like I did before we had him


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## Redkay75

Cheer ladies for your welcome. I can't wait to get to the point when we're buying shoes so excited!

I was given a pregnancy pillow but at the moment it's just huge and makes it even harder to turn over in the night so I'm currently sleeping with a normal pillow between my knees which helps. Carrie I now have some back rubs on order ;-)

Juju I remember that anguish so recently, sorry if I'm prying but are you going again, do you have frosties?

K x


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## Lady-S

Hi Kay,

Thought I'd jump in as it's nice to see a familiar face and our due dates don't match the same thread. Boooo!!! Had my first scan today and saw one beautiful heartbeat. There was talk of twins from my high hcg levels but we were relieved it's just one...we have a "normal" pregnancy now. I know u had a rough time of it so I think we're pleased to be a single baba. 

I am soooo clueless about what to do/not to do now I'm preggers!!! Spend 5 years trying to get here and now I'm lost!!! Glad I can ask ur advice on here as the other thread is more support for ladies getting to this point....I'd hate for them to feel uncomfortable by my naiivety.

Lots of love to u and all the ladies on this thread

Xxxxx


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## Rachfins

Carrie - How sweet buying Zac his first pair of shoes. I've got just over 9 weeks left. Hope I make it till then. My sis planned to finish work about the same time but had to finish a week earlier in the end.

Redkay - Although you can turn over when you are sleeping during pregnancy, you are supposed to sleep as much you can on your left side.

Juju - 

Lady-S Welcome and congrats.

Rach x


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## carrie lou

Redkay I meant to add, when I was pregnant DH bought me a support belt. It's like a band that you wear under your clothes that supports your bump. It's not glamourous by any means but it did wonders for my back. I'd recommend it to anyone suffering pregnancy backache.  


Lady S - congrats on your scan, that's great news   


Ju -        It's so hard, I know, I feel the same every time I hear about someone getting pregnant. I thought once I had my little bundle of joy that those feelings would subside a little but it's still so upsetting. When I hear of someone announcing their pregnancy, to me it's just a reminder that I'm never going to conceive naturally and if we want another baby, it's going to be bloody hard and expensive and stressful just to get pregnant. Life's not fair sometimes  So if it's any comfort you are definitely not alone in feeling this way.


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## JanaH

Carrie I love buying shoes for Joseph, we have bought him his first pair in January and that was a size 4.5 and his next pair was in March/April and that was a size 6. His got massive feet.


Ceci don't worry too much, he will just click one day and then there is no stopping them.


Juju    it's really hard, it still gets me down when my friends get pregnant without even trying.


Rachfins wow only 9 weeks, hope you get loads of rest before LO is here.


Hope everyone enjoyed the long weekend. We had a lovely village jubilee festival on Sunday. (in the rain)   
I never thought I would say this but I'm actually thinking of doing a FET by the end of the year. I need to loose at least two stone before I start. i'm seeing my GP on Friday as I think my hormones are all over the place.


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## Pootle77

Ceci - Joshi will definitely walk unaided in his own time, our little man didn't walk until 16 months, they only do it when they're ready.


Carrie and Fizzy - we didn't buy shoes until little man was properly walking at 16 months and his feet were a 3.5 then, 7 months on he's grown half a size.  Think I'm destined to have a little man for ever!  Like you we never worried about cruisers, just had socks or a pair of soft shoes, then when straight to big shoes.  Only my opinion, but I think crawlers and cruisers were invented to get money out of parents!!


Redkay and LadyS - congratulations on your pregnancy.


JuJu - I so feel for you, I am so jealous when I hear of other people's pregnancies, I just want it to be me, without the money and heartache.  DH keeps reminding me that other people struggle to get pregnant to, not everyone falls first time, but it sure feels like it!  I was talking to him today saying I wonder if the feeling ever goes away, so even if we get pregnant again, will I dread pregnancy announcements for the rest of my life?


Rachfins - not long now!


JanaH - hope your GP is of help.


We had insemination last Fri, coming back early from hold next week for OTD, blood test as we're private this time,  They said I could do POAS but that would be on little man's 2nd birthday and if it was positive that would be great but if not I don't want to spoil his day by being sad.


Love to everyone. X.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Blimey carrie Ds is only a size 4 and he's 2 next month  

Ju   you'll get there hun


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## ceci.bee

Ju hun                 it is so gutting - had a similar experience yesterday at baby group when one of my mates annouynced she was 17 weeks   
am keeping everything                for a lovely BFP for you by xmas   

Thanks for walking advice Joshi was already 5.5 when he was measured for shoes, but he is giant in everything! I am sure you guys are right about the walking, Carrie we will try your games   

Lots of love to all
Ceci


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## teresal

Hi Girls sorry have been AWOL, i do read but its usually inbetween doing other things. hope everyone is ok

congratulations and welcome to the new ladies, glad to see you here

JU -- have just cried my eyes out at your post, i know exactly how you feel, thought that after i had Meredith all these feelings would go, i know i am so blessed to have her but i would love to give her a brother or sister unfortunately thats never going to happen for us. i don't know how many times lately i have cried cos i so want another and everyone seems to be preggers or trying, that feeling of longing never seems to leave and someone at playgroup asked me to hold their LO today and i said no, just can't bear to get that close (might never let her go) to a baby again. you will get your number 2 honey, your young and healthy, Noah will get to be a big brother soon   

AFU -- Meredith is definately in the terrible 2 stage, dread to think how much of a drama queen she will be when shes a teenager    she broke my oven door off the other week, sat on it and when i went to lift her off she bounced and she broke the hinge on it   

right sorry my time is up, need to get ready for work    yes still in the hell hole and working nightshift and living off very little sleep, have applied for other jobs but trying to get something that fits in with hubbys job is difficult


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## northernmonkey

Flipping heck, no posts for days then loads!


Ju -    It's so hard trying to look pleased for others when you want it to be happening to you, but hang in there, you'll have another BFP before you know it. 


Teresa -      I think the longing for a second child is just as strong as the first time round and as much as you love and appreciate your gorgeous girl, it doesn't stop or lessen the hurt.  Does your dh feel the same as you?  On a lighter note I'm sorry but it did make me giggle at the thought of your oven door snapping off! I bet she gave herself a proper fright! And if it's any consolation my 2 year old has entered that phase too.... The Toddler Taming book is never far away   


Ceci - my eldest wouldn't let go of our hands for ages either then one day did it without even realising.  Make the most of it, one day you'll be wishing he still wanted to hold it   


Pootle - congrats on being pupo, how's the 2ww going?     


Lady s - hello and congrats on your first scan. Such a relief isn't it? 


Redkay - welcome to you too and congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my third donor baby so not many weeks behind you. When is your next scan? Will you find out the flavour?? Our 12 week scan is next thur and I'm so looking forward to being able to go public with the news! Although apparently I've mentioned the tiredness a few times too many and was forced to come clean to a few friends today... 


Hello mini, cupcake, speeder, Carrie, holly, rachfins and anyone else I've not mentioned.


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## Lady-S

Oh girls - sounds like this journey doesnt get any easier. Having a child and wanting another. But it's not as easy for us as it is for others. I don't know how many people have said that I'm young enough enough to have a "miracle" baby....not when you've got menopause u idiots!!!!!!!! 

I always said to Dh I want a family...that the whole tx thing is not about having a baby. We have just one baby on board at the moment which is a huge relief as my pregnancy will be normal once I'm off my cocktail of meds. I know having twins has its risks and complications but there would be something nice knowing I'd never have to go through all this again. Still...we have 3 frosties from our current donor tucked away in Athens so in a couple of years we can have another go if I have the energy. I've found this year so hard to get to this point that part of me is thinking never again.....but I guess that natural maternal urge takes over.  I thu k I'll worry about another nearere the time...only just got my first ever bfp!!!

Northern monkey - good luck on 12 week scan. So exciting!!!!

Kay - how are u Hun??

Pootle - congrats on being pupo

Can't believe this rain!!! Just want to stay in bed but got so much to do today....

Xxxx


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## teresal

NM -- gee thanks can always rely on you to have a chuckle    she didn't bat an eyelid, hasn't touched it again tho. yeah DH does feel the same about another baby but since we don't have that kind of money for DIVF (was nearly £5000 3 years ago) and the fact i am 43, its not going to happen again for us unless the lottery comes up this weekend    some days are better than others on the baby front, i think the hardest bit is the fact that its not OUR choice not to have anymore, if we could get pg naturally then we would decide how many to have not bleeding money and i find that difficult since i like making my decisions about my life (hope that makes sense)

well thats Meredith trying to hula with her hula hoop and watch herself in the glass door    shes a crazy cookie

whats everyone doing for Fathers day next weekend, i got meredith to paint a plate for DH so he will get that and i might be nice to him for the day   

well we are off to the dreaded in laws on sunday, have been summonsed for some reason BUT we haven't to go till 1pmish cos they have chapel, dinner at 2pm when dh's brother anf family arrive and we will leave at 3pm so can get home for Merediths bedtime routine, then that should be us till merediths birthday (if they come), worked it out the other night they have seen meredith 3 times since last august and haven't been in the house since before christmas cos they haven't seen what she got

right better run hula girl isn't happy about something


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## juju81

Another day and another 12weeks scan announcement on ** from another school friend.


I'm close to losing control Again. It's the fact that it takes so much emotional/physical stress to have one. All that worrying. It makes me want to cry. And I look at Noah and I want to cry. I just want to be able to have sex and fall pregnant. Not spending 1000's out. Why cAnt I just be happy with one beautiful little boy.


Thing is its stressing me out so much already that before long I'll lose it and and give up.


Teresa, Meredith is a pickle.   


Thanks everyone else, means a lot


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## juju81

Cupcake. These feelings have literally just come on so string since my friend told me she was preg. It hit me like a thunder bolt. Funny thing is another good friend of mine has been struggling since she had her 1st about 6yrs ago. She pm'd me on ** last week to tell me she was preg and to thank me for the support and keeping her sane. I wanted to cry I was so happy for her yet I feel and I hate to think this but hateful feelings to my other friend.


Also, yesterday I wrote to the HFea as they have said we may be able to import from Xytex (using a special licence) the same donor as Noah. Well I spoke to Xytex and they have said they won't allow us to import so we obviously need to get the go ahead from hfea then I imagine they will sort things. Then they told me how much it cost and I got all disheartened again. It will cost nearly the same as 3 goes at complete.  I would love another little Noah... The money side of it annoys the hell out of me. We are pushing for compensation. Obviously if we get anything then that will go on tx.


Cupcake, we never sorted the meet. I have 2 was off in August (seems ages away). I know your off on hols too so we should sort something out in August. Hit the beach or something


Will you stay local to where you are? Your L is a spitting image of you


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## Redkay75

Rach- I usually tend to naturally sleep on my left side but find I moving about more in my sleep then ever before bloody typical just when sleeping on your side is advised!

Sonia - good to see you made the leap too, when's your due date? One heartbeat is amazing and such a joy to see it! Twins really freaked me out and although gutted I was a little relieved (and then felt guilty as you can imagine) once I'd got over the shock of losing one. I saw your stats on the other thread by 8.5 weeks and heartbeat it's 95% chance! Amazing! Hope the shed wasn't to crafty I hate reports I've got IEPs to write as well as reports but only 8 kids in my class so not too bad!

NM - congrats on number 3, incredible advert for donors! Beat of luck at scan. I've got my 20 week scan a week Tuesday but we already know we're having a girl named Lola Grace Beth so it'll be just staring and drinking her in and praying for all the measurements to be right!

Ju - it really sucks doesn't it, I found the same as you if someone had been ttc and couldn't and then got pregnant I was over the moon but when it seemed effortless is made me so sad. When my gay freind got drunk and had a one night stand on a hen do using a condom dirt sex with a man in 6 years and pregnant that really took the biscuit!

I'm going to bed for a nap I'm irritable and will turn on DH for breathing soon if I don't! 

K x


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## carrie lou

Juju/Cupcake -     to both of you. I know exactly how you feel and everything you say is exactly what I think, How can it be fair that some people (it seems) just have to forget to take the pill a couple of times, or have a drunken one night stand, and next thing they know there's a bun in the oven? And for us girls it is so so hard and costs us a small fortune just to get pregnant in the first place. And the choice is taken away from us - couples without infertility can have as many children as they choose, but we have to weigh up the costs, stress, how many units of sperm left etc. It's really so unfair. Sorry I know that's no help at all but just wanted to let you know you're not alone and totally justified in feeling this way.    

Juju - good luck with the compensation  

Redkay - enjoy your scan. What a beautiful name   

Teresa - Meredith sounds like a right little character  Poor you doing night shifts, that's rubbish   

NM - good luck for your scan   

   to everyone  

AFM - little man has had a vomiting bug this week  so it's not been much fun in our house. DH took a few days off work so we could do some fun things together as a family, in fact we have hardly left the house for 4 solid days and of course this awful weather hasn't helped  and everything in the house seems to be coated in a sticky layer of vomit and calpol  so the washing machine has been working overtime! Anyway Z has been much better today thank goodness, hopefully we will get out and about a bit tomorrow.


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## Lady-S

Kay - ff due date calculator puts my due date 24th jan. I totally hear what ur saying about twins. When I had my scan I was holding my breath expecting twins and thinking of what happened to you...so when I saw one I breathed a sigh of relief. I feel so much more relaxed about being pregnant now...yes it's still early days...but why shouldn't it work for me?? 

I was worried that I don't have sickness...very slight stomach churn of nausea (like I had too much vino the night before...those were the days!!!😄😄😄) but I feel ok about that now.  My mum and sil told me they never suffered so I'm enjoying being lucky. What I do have is lower belly cramps but I hear this is normal. Now I've seen beanie I feel reassured it's just growing & snuggling in. Bit tiring though if I'm honest. Permanent af which for someone with pof is a thing of the past... Forgotten what cramps were like!!!!!just want hot water bottle and a bath...but nooooooo. Have to make do with cuddles from puss cat.

20 weeks already? Wow!!!!!!!!!! Time really does fly!!!! Have u taken pix of bump? Post them on ** so I can be nosy!!! Lol

Much love to u and everyone else
Xxxx


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## Fizzypop

Cupcake    

Sleep deprivation is a bugger...hope you do feel brighter in the morning but there is no harm going to gp/hv to talk thru how you're feeling - maybe even talking it thru with someone rather than DH would help? 
It doesn't matter how old our bubbas get, they wil always need us...whether that's newborn, a year or older x am sure there might be some moments when they teach terribe twos but its all part of the fun! and honestly honestly honestly you will find yourself brimming over with love at every stage, when she's a bit older you start to get a bit more back - I remember when DD first started clinging on to my clothes and my friend said she does it for comfort, used to melt my heart  now she just goes straight for pulling my top down hahaha! And how a cuddle from me can make everything better for her  people keep telling me she's a mummies girl and I will struggle when she goes to nursery but I don't think it's that bad!!

You know that we are always here for you so feel free to "talk" about it whenever you wish xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Cupcake    I think how your feelings are normal to a certain extent given what you've been through. First of all let me reassure you that my little boy is now a year old and if anything I love him and am proud of him even more than ever before (even when, as now, he is trying to pull the cables out of the back of the TV  ) and I'm sure you will be the same with your DD. And yes Z is often accused of being a mummy's boy too, when he's really upset all he wants is me but I think this is totally normal. Though I think your feeling down and depressed are probably at the extreme end of the spectrum and I honestly do think you should talk to someone about it - GP or HV - maybe if you could get some counselling arranged and talk through your feelings with someone outside the situation. You don't want to look back at DD's babyhood and realise that you missed it all through being depressed. I missed out on 3-4 months of Z's first year through being depressed and anxious over what MIL did to me and that was bad enough. You waited so long for this, you really deserve to just enjoy it hun. Please ask for some help as soon as you can and I hope you feel better really soon


----------



## carrie lou

I meant to add, yes Z is much better now thank you. Also it was more like 2 months before I got over MIL - wouldn't give her the satisfaction of upsetting me for any longer


----------



## ceci.bee

Cupcake hun           I am sorry you are feeling all over the place at the moment. Please don't be afraid to chat to your HV or your GP about how you are feeling - you will get lots of reassurance and support and if they do think you need some help they can help you & provide it (with counselling/baby group support/regular reviews). Not sleeping and feeling anxious and tearful are symptoms that something might be wrong, and from reading your posts you sound like you are worrying about how you are feeling. Please believe all of us when we say the love we feel for our LOs grows every day - Joshi is now 14 months and has just learnt to kiss - when he leans over spontaenously to kiss me, my heart melts in new ways! It is amazing how love grows and expands, and although I worry about having anotehr baby and not loving it as much as Joshi, all my friends and FFs all reassure me that you love the second as much as the first - the heart of a mother is a really amazing thing. Enjoy your holiday adn we are all here for you.

Carrie hun sorry z has been ill, and your few precious days with Dh and him were covered in vomit! but that's parenthood...........

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

cupcake - I haven't read the others reply as i need to be quick so sorry if i repeat anything.   

DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about how you are feeling. Sounds like a bit of PND. sleeplessness is a sure sign.    go and speak to your GP. Re: loving baby when shes older, believe me, you will love her more and more. I was so scared that i wouldn't love DS2 or my feeling for DS1 would change, But honsestly, the love i feel for DS1 hit me so hard when i had DS2, it was like nothing else i'd ever experienced. I didn't realise the love i felt for him before. 
As for DS2, i didn';t bond with him at first because of PND and looking after DS1 but now hes a bit older, smiling etc and i'm on anti ds, my love for him is growing stronger and stronger,. Hes lovely! I know as he gets older its going to get better and better because it did with DS1. The milstones are fab!    You wait until shes crawling!! She will be so funny and then when she starts talking and understanding you. 

when she leaves home you will fall in love with her all over again. she will be your friend but you will always be her mummy. I can see how i'll be with my boys,. They will always be my babys    i'll be one of those awful mothers who hate the daughter in law        

Don't let your thoughts ruin your time with baby. Get to your doc girly!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Cupcake - DS1 flits between me and DH. One minute he wants me then he wants DH. At the moment its all me    but another day i know he will want DH and not me.    So tell your DH that in time she will want daddy and not mummy     she will soon be cooing at daddy


----------



## carrie lou

Cupcake - Glad to hear your DH is being so lovely and supportive. My DH was convinced that Z didn't like him for the first couple of months  but I think it's totally normal for a very young baby to want mummy most of the time. Now Z goes through mummy phases and daddy phases - some days he just wants daddy all the time, other days only mummy will do. It's good to know he has such a good bond with both of us   Just encourage your DH to keep trying and it will come. With us DH has always done bathtime and bedtime story when he gets in from work and this has been his way of bonding with Z since he was tiny.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

My dh does bath and bed too.


----------



## juju81

Aww cupcake Hun     I agree with the others, have a chat with your doctor. I was the complete opposite to you, would dread being on my own, feel a huge weight lift when nick came in from work but I think what your feeling can also be PND. It's like your scared to let her go and that she won't need you    . Every stage just gets better, please don't dwell on what you had because you have soooooo much to come. Your'll look back in a few yrs and kick yourself for feeling like this and not seeking some help. I know I do.


Give your dh some time on his own when he comes in from work. It will do you all the world of good. Noah is 100% a daddy's boy so don't worry that they won't bond because he's at work.   


Yes I did get your text Hun, thanks. Bloody phone, lol. My bmi is about the same so that's alright. I am trying to shift a bit. Hopefully deefo gonna staRt in the new year


----------



## teresal

Cupcake -- i agree with all the others, see your GP sounds like a bit of PND. i can totally understand what you mean about your feelings when you haven't had her all to yourself, Meredith is nearly 2 and i hate it when we haven't had quality time just her and me, i tend to cuddle her to sleep and even lay her in our bed for a while when i feel like that and move her back into her own bed after a while. i can honestly say i love her more very day (even when shes baing naughty and breaking my oven door off    ) each day brings something new, either another new word or a new activity, she has just learned how to do rolly pollys and i am so proud of her, she is very much a mummys girl but thats my own fault cos we never leave her on her own with anyone at all. we have only had one night out since she was born and that was for 2 hours    but i am a worrier when it comes to her and think nobody else can look after her or comfort her like i can (yes i know ladies she would be fine    )
glad your DH is being supportive on this, my DH sometimes gets upset when Meredith just wants me but then when he dissappears she shouts for him so tell him she will look for daddy as well.


Mini -- you won't hate you future daughter in las as DS1 is marrying Meredith   

right i better shift and get this ironing done, it won't do itself will it. 

ohhh seen in laws yesterday, i survived so that will be it now till august, i can breath and relax again till then    (how i hate the in laws) not going to go on about them again


ironing her i come   

hi to everyone hope you all ok


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

teresal said:


> we have only had one night out since she was born and that was for 2 hours


                   

flipping 'eck! MIL is havng samuel overnight next week so we can go away for the night for my 40th!!  my mum and dad often have lucas overnight. Get out on the razz girly!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## juju81

Teresa,    


I couldn't even count the amount of times Noah's stayed out, or I've gone away!    He loves staying at Nannys lol


----------



## pippilongstockings

Oh cupcake, you poor love    I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I constantly ached with DS1 because it was all going so fast and he was growing up so quickly and I wanted it all to last forever. But the others are right, it gets better and better as they get older and you love them more and more. Until they turn into devil pre-school age teenagers     Only joking!  I do agree though that maybe you should have a chat with your HV. I wish wish wish I had seen someone when Z (DS2) was small as looking back I had horrendous PND (and I've never admitted that to anyone before). My HV was hopeless, it must have been so obvious but she was too busy to care! I really don't remember much about his first 18 months. I can't remember a single thing about his first christmas when he was about 8 months and that makes me really sad. 

juju - is there any chance you could get treated in the states? Pop over for a holiday and have a quick basting while you're there? You have a 100% success rate don't you so chance are you will only need 1 go?

Teresa - it's not too late lovely! If it's what you really want is there any way at all you can scrape the money together? If I won the lottery I'd pay for all of you lovely ladies to have as many cycles of treatment as you wanted   

mini - how are you getting on now? I love your photos on **, your boys are so gorgeous   

ceci - how much longer are you in africa? The weather here is so terrible at the moment, we keep daydreaming about working abroad for a few years! It's a bit tricky for us because of my sister but it's nice to dream!

NM - are you near me? I think you mentioned coming to Millets Farm once so I presume you are close? I'm between Oxford and Swindon (although no one round here likes to admit that we are close to Swindon    - I don't care!)

Carrie Lou - ugh, I hate tummy bugs. Luke had loads when he was little and always managed to share them with me! He's improved with age but still has a tendency to be sick at the drop of a hat! He was sick in my dad's car the other day which was the first time my Dad and stepmum had ever looked after the boys - typical. I should add that his car is his baby, he adores his car. And now it smells of sick   

Fizzy, LadyS, Redkay and anyone else I've missed - hello! Welcome to the new ladies   

As for me - my weekend looking after my 2 boys and my niece did not help the broodiness! It was blimming hard work I'll admit but it was great! DH was not so keen...... I think he was determined that it would be awful and really hard as he wants to convince me that 3 would be a bad idea. Well, I presume that that is what he was thinking as we still haven't talked about the elephant in the room    I keep waiting for a good time but he's been busy working and then he was away and now he's tired. If only we could just do it naturally I'm sure we'd have gone for it by now! 

Z has chicken pox at the moment which is a pain. He's fine during the day but itchy at night so his sleep is terrible. My mum's got him today so I can work. Hmmmm, better do some I suppose! Hope you are all ok xx


----------



## juju81

Pippi, I feel exactly the same. I found the first 18months awful. Just awful. That's another reason I always said it didn't/couldn't want another one. It's lifted, slowly but I do feel ready for another one. I am terrified of feeling like it again but this time round I'll know to seek help.


Yes 100% success rates. I was 3 yrs younger tho    Had a letter from the HFeA today to say our clinic can obtain a 'special direction' which means we can import. Need to sort funds out, I think regardless we will go to complete if they allow us to import there. If not we'll go back to Shirley oaks. I don't have a bad word to say about them and they got us 2/2 bfp's. It's just Southampton is easier to get to!


----------



## teresal

neither DH or i drink and have never been one to go on the razz  i just enjoy getting meredith to bed and curl up on the sofa with my cup of tea and the telly before falling asleep and hitting my bed by 10pm  i do blame the nightshifts for me not staying up late anymore, on a wed and fri am in bed between 7-8pm to try and catch up.

pippi -- don't think we will ever have that much money nowadays, just keep doing the lottery and hope we win, time is ticking, keep hoping/wishing the clinic would ask for volunteers to trial things  as if that would ever happen, can always dream

well meredith has been a wee [email protected]@ar today, think shes getting her back teeth, been on the naughty step so many times i am sick of putting her there, anyway a dose of calpol and in bed at 6.30pm, bloody hope she sleeps or DH will have face in the morning.

hugs to all


----------



## carrie lou

We haven't had an evening out either since Z was born - unless you count the rehearsal for his christening when we left him with my mum for an hour  I don't drink so don't really enjoy the pub scene much. And Z has never been a good sleeper and doesn't settle well without me. I'm quite happy not going out much, I reckon there will be time enough for that when he's older.  


I had a job interview this morning and left Z with my mum for over 2 hours, that was the longest I've ever been away from him  Think it was harder for me actually than it was for him. When I got back he was having a lovely time with his granny but immediately gave me some super cuddles so I was happy


----------



## pippilongstockings

Great news juju! It's all starting to happen......




Teresa - I love my bed too! Didn't get to see much of it last night, z was up most of the night again with  chicken pox. Funny how he hasn't struggled to go up for a nap this morning grrrrr!




Ooh carrie, best of luck with the job! Is it in the same field as your last job? When would u be starting?
x


----------



## juju81

A lot of our socialising revolves around eating and drinking    Although me and nick did go into town on our own the other Saturday and got plastered. Haven't done that since we were at school ha ha


I didn't get much sleep either. Noah's just gone down for his kip so I'm going to. I have zero tolerance today


----------



## ceci.bee

Pippi & Ju         so sorry you have both been thro PND and it is so hard to talk about, esp weirdly on FF where it feels like you should be 100% happy 100% of the time the moment you gt pg and have a baby. I hope Ju that everything works out for no 2 and am sure Noah will be a fab big bro                

Teresal - hope you can enjoy a night out soon - DH and I have always tried to keep our date nights going, much easier here with all the childcare,but still important for relationships I think to dress up and go out together from time to time    good luck with the lotto!

AFM am joining the sleepless nights brigade for a bit - Joshi seems to be having fevers every evening with lots of snot and coughing and it is going on for a while now. Because of where we are we have tested him for malaria which is negative, and now I am worryin gabout TB! but he is playing and eating and generally happy, it is so weird. off to the paediatrician tomorrow (no GPs here) so hope all is ok.

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## pippilongstockings

Oh crikey ceci, I hope it's not TB. The poor little mite


----------



## pippilongstockings

My big boy had his first settling session at school yesterday. I took him to the gate but couldn't take him to the classroom with all the other mums because Z has chicken pox. I thought he'd be a bit wary but he just dashed in without looking back     He had a great time! He's going to LOVE school I'm so excited for him! One thing that did scare me though - they have already sent home work for him to do.......    Argh!


----------



## teresal

Oh my Pippi homework already, i presume that will be so they can see what level to start him on at, no point in giving him stuff if he's going to be bored in 2 minutes   . chicken pox is certainly doing the rounds it has been bad here but as usual Meredith has missed it, i am sure she is waiting till she starts school to catch everything so she can get time off   

ceci hope the LO feels better soon


----------



## carrie lou

Ceci - poor Joshi, what a worry for you  Hope he will be better soon and that it's not anything nasty   


Pippi - goodness me homework already  Sorry to hear Z has chicken pox.   I thought my Z had it last week cos he came out in a terrible rash when he had that vomiting bug - but the GP said it didn't look like it, didn't have the fluid filled vesicles and anyway it totally cleared up in a couple of days. So I guess we still have that delight to come  


Teresa glad you survived the in-lawws, you have ALL my sympathy on that point   


Hope everyone is well this evening


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

pippi - wow L at school    Hope Z is ok. and hope you are too   

Tezza - M might be immune to CP/. My friends kids are. Theyve been in contact with everyone and the dog who has CP and never got it!    L had it and was fine with it. He had it when he was 17 mths i think. Best age to have it apparently. I'm going to get samuel to a CP party when hes that age   

Ceci - Hope Josh gets better soon


----------



## Pootle77

I can't believe it, I go away for a week with no Internet access and you guys get really chatty!


Pippi - can't believe L is starting school!  Our little man starts pre school one morning a week in sept, I'm already dreading it!!!


Ceci - hope Joshi is better soon.


We're lucky, my Mum lives 5 mins walk away so we've had quite a few nights out, even got a night away for our 4th anniversary, first time we'd left him for the night but they both survived!  I'm off on a course for 3 days next week and DH is having little man, I'm dreading being away from him for 3days!  It's his 2nd birthday on Tues!


Oh, and the best news is it was a BFP today, HCG 313 14days after IUI.  I had an inkling, feel totally different this time, really sore boobs for one!


Hope everyone has a fab weekend, sorry I've not been able to catch up with everyone. Xxx.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## carrie lou

Pootle that's amazing news, congratulations!


----------



## juju81

Ahhhh that's fab hun, was it medicated? Jabs or completely natural?


----------



## Pootle77

Aw, thanks guys.  


Juju, it was medicated, started gonal f on day 3 of my period, then ovitrelle trigger injection 2 days before insemination.  Been on crinone since insemination, got to stay on it til I can't remember when


----------



## JanaH

Congrats Pootle    



We went to the local pottery painting shop and did a mug with Joseph's hand prints on for fathers day, he made daddy a card at nursery. 


GP has done some bloods yesterday, will get the results next week, he doesn't think I have PND. Most likely just hormones and the most annoying thing, I think my endo has returned. He his testing my thyroid as I'm struggling to loose weight. I'm thinking of doing FET later this year, and I'm already stressing about childcare, at the moment we use the nursery at my work which isn't local.


Hope everyone else is doing well.


----------



## Fizzypop

Pootle - massive congrats


----------



## pippilongstockings

Great news pootle


----------



## hakunamatata

congrats pootle good to see bourn still working their magic. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hello all my lovely ladies xxx


----------



## amandaloo

Pootle- congratulations


----------



## teresal

pootle -- congratulations honey


----------



## Pootle77

Thanks guys, still in shock.  It took us 4 goes last time!


Cupcake, will let you know due date once we've had our scan, not for 2 and a bit weeks, feels like forever.


We had little man's party on Father's Day but it's not his birthday til tomorrow.  He bought Daddy a book to read together, My Dad, a plant for the garden and a card which he signed with a handprint.


Jana, hope your bloods come back ok.


----------



## amandaloo

Pheobs- hope you and your little one are all fine x


----------



## JanaH

Happy 1st birthday Charley!!!     Hope you have fun at your party.


Hope everyone else is doing well.


We've got a boy who is not happy... He had a fever on Saturday of 38.6. He went to nursery on Monday as his temp was 37, but I had to pick him up a hour later with a temp of over 38. Took him to the GP, which was absolutely useless he just said continue with calpol en nurofen to the max doses everyday. He is cutting his molars and is very congested could this be why he has a temp?


----------



## Rachfins

Congratulations Pootle x


----------



## ceci.bee

Janah sorry your LO is poorly       , Joshi has been febrile for the last two weeks or so with snot and cutting molars - we took him to the paediatrician as we were worried about TB and basically got told kids can get back to back fevers esp while cutting teeth and it is horrible to go through for him and you, it is normal, and you need to try to bulk buy neurofen! He is much better now, although this am woke up with  a swollen eyelid on one side, the worrying never ends!!

Pootle have you had a hCG done yet??

xx


----------



## amandaloo

Jana- DS had a fever last weekend too and he's cutting his two top teeth . I thought he had just picked something up from nursery but didn't rule out it could be his teeth either. It's hard to know sometimes I just used calpol and nurofen and he wAs fine within 2 days . Like ceci says the worrying doesn't end does it x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Thank you for the birthday wishes!

We had a lovely party and I enjoyed making the cake and decorating it, party bags and baby sensory activities.

All did not go to plan though as my Charley has been really unwell and so had Grandad (my Dad). On Tues he was clinging to me while I was doing party things - nothing too unusual there these days! In the evening though he was really shivering in the bath despite it being 24 degrees. Dressed him and took temp and it was 39.2, respiratory rate 44. Gave calpol and he settled right down and slept. Wed morning Dad was incoherant and breathless and I called 999. He spent the night in hospital for an infection. I warned everyone coming to our party about the fever, but they all wanted to come. I told them he had runny nose, eyes, fever and cough, but he was playing, eating, drinking and normal nappies, no vomiting. Temp had come down to normal - 38 during day.
So today we had party and poor C slept through the baby sensory activities I got ready for them. He woke up and joined in with lunch and playtime though and enjoyed it. After everyone went he was clinginig again. Dark circles around eyes, gunk in the,=m, fruity cough and fast grunting respiration. Took temp and back up to 39.2.

Went to GP and she sent us to paeds A+E. They diagnosed tonsilitis. He is now on antibiotics.


----------



## ceci.bee

Holly I am so sorry your party was made so complicated and I hope your dad is getting better         I am sure C will love his presents and being made a fuss of, even if it was not actually at the party  has he recovered now??

Just a quick post as a mate sent me this link and i thought you guys might like it - loads of ideas for play with children that do not require any fancy bits, just some basic stuff and lots of mess  
http://www.theimaginationtree.com/

lots of love to all
Ceci 

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## carrie lou

Get well soon Charley and Grandad   


Ceci - thanks so much for the link, it looks fantastic


----------



## speeder

Hey - just to say congratulations Pootle!   
Holly - get well soon Charley. Was about to say that DD1 behaved exactly like that when she had ear infections - then read it was tonsillitis.  The fast breathing is horrible when they have such high temps.  Have you thought about asking whether he's cows milk intolerant?  Can be connected to tonsillitis/ear problems/coughs etc.  Poor wee soul - hopefully picking up now on the antibiotics?  DD1 - and DD2 so far - have never had temperatures when teething.  Think there are loads of nasty  bugs going around - DD1 had a fever the other night - but didn't come to anything. Ceci - think you are right - back to back fevers seeem quite common...still worry us though!   

Jana - hope you are feeling OK.   

Just a quick one from me - both DDs sleeping - spent most of the day outside at BBQ then park so they had the delicious outdoorsy smell on their heads that I love.  I've discussed heading back to work late in the year so I'm making the most of the rest of my maternity leave.  Sometimes I wish it could last forever    

speeder x


----------



## Pootle77

Hope all the poorly little ones are better soon, touch wood, we seem to have avoided fevers.


Ceci - we had HCG done on day 14 after insemination and it was 313.  Our clinic doesn't to anything else until the early scan.


Xxx.


----------



## speeder

Cupcake - was just reading back and didn't realise you've been feeling a bit down    Why don't you have a chat with your GP about whether it might be a touch of PND?  I think not being able to sleep is a red flag for  it.  Somewhat surprisingly, I've been lucky and managed to avoid PND - and even then, the depth of my feelings for the DDs sometimes overwhelm me.  And, being the worrier that I am, I try to avoid thinking about bad things happening all the time - not always easy for me!
I can promise you, like the other girls have said, that as they get older you only love them more and more and more if that feels possible.  I look back on the time that DD1 was a baby and now look at her - nearly 3 and her own "little person", if that makes sense and I feel I konw her more than I did back then and my love for her is even stronger, if that's possible.
thinking of you xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Too true speeder!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Cupcake Samuel is in 3-6mths already


----------



## Pootle77

Cupcake - glad you're feeling better in yourself.  Our scan is on Thurs!


Fizzy - how did the consult go?


Hope everyone's ok. Xxx.


----------



## teresal

Mini -- what have you got planned for DS1's birthday hun, can you believe he is 2 xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I know it's madness!  

Might go to the zoo if weather is ok.


----------



## amandaloo

Hello 

Hope everyone is ok  was my first week back at wrk last week it went ok apart from Noah getting a virus  . It's his bday tomorrow can't believe he's 1 already 

Amanda x


----------



## carrie lou

Wow, happy birthday Noah! Do you have any plans Amanda? Glad work is OK


----------



## JanaH

Wow Amanda, 1 already... any plans for birthday? Glad work is ok so far. Are you back full time or part time?


So much has happened in the last 2 weeks. Joseph had oral thrush last week. Had my follow up appointment with the GP, lucikly nothing serious in the blood test only my Vit D that is really really low. He prescribed some anti depressants. 


On another note we saw our consultant this evening to start FET. Will have a monitoring cycle next month and transfer the next or Sept. We have 2 frozen embies, will transfer both but is so scared it will be twins, don't know if I will cope with not having any family in the UK.


Hope everyone else is doing well


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hi all, 

   to Noah!

Not sure when I last checked in with you all, but it has been really stressful and really eventful here too. Charley is better now. Dad went home to his house once he had finished all his antibiotics and steroids for the episode over Charley's birthday of chest infection. 3 days after stopping antibiotics he is admitted again by 999 ambulance to a hospital near his house with rip roaring pneumonia and sepsis. He made an amazing turn around, but on Friday he was nearly going to ICU for respiratory and cardiovascular support. Luckily strong antibiotics, fluids, steroids and oxygen improved things and he must be really strong to get through without going to ICU at his age (82).
I have been driving up and down the M25 all week and trying to fit in the things that I had planned for Charley's last 2 weeks with mummy full time.
I also did my first shift in a community pharmacy in my road on Sunday which was interesting. C went to play with his friend and had a ball - I only had to leave him for 5 hours so that was good.

I have also called the clinic about an FET and that appointment is on the 24th. EEEK!

Good luck Jana with yours!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Happy birthday Noah.   Hope the anti Ds help Amanda  

Holly your dad must be made of iron    hope work goes ok I don't want to go back this time. But have to go back full  time


----------



## juju81

Happy birthday Noah    what did u get him? What a fab day to have a birthday. 3 of my family have the 4th as their bday

Oooooh holly, number 2. Does DH help now? Not sure I'd be brave enough if I didn't get support  

Cupcake, Italy was hot! Enjoy your few wks with ur mum

Minx, when r u due back?

Janah, not long til ur appoint then


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

No I don't get any support and I know it will be really really hard, but I have to live my life and fulfill the dreams that I have in my life. I've learned that the hard way with my DH. If it was up to him we would not have Charley as he wanted me to give up on donor sperm, and now he loves him. I would be depressed and resentful for the rest of my life. A sibling would be an added bonus and good for Charley. I don't want him facing our old age as an only child like I'm having to, and it would be nice for him to have family in the future. I'm thinking about what it best for Charley now.


----------



## juju81

Good for you hun, I'm assuming DH is in agreement with you even tho u get no support. It must be so so hard, I couldn't imagine nick not having/wanting much to do with Noah


----------



## carrie lou

Good for you Hazel and good luck for your FET  You deserve it. I'm sure in time DH will come round and love the next baby as much as he does Charley.  


All this talk making me broody - we are hoping to go again in December  Oh and look everyone - I'm a trainee now


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Thanks Peeps - my Dh was telling me in no uncertain terms that I should get myself down the clinic ASAP if I want another one. He told me a few weeks ago to make time before I'm fully back at work. I was surprised!
He gave me some dates he could come, but the clinic was fully booked. I've told him the date of the appointment and this morning he asked me what it was on that date - so I wait to see if he clear's his diary for it.

Well done Carrie - glad you went for it!


----------



## ceci.bee

Wow happy birtheday Noah that is fab news enjoy   

Hazel gosh it sounds like you have been through the mill with your dad, amazing he is doing so well that is brilliant. Great news on the FET and the support from DH - sounds so much better than last time you were going for tx. I have everything       for you guys. And so pleased you managed a shift at work, going back is so hard!

Mini have been back full time for 9 months now - it is horrible and I wish I could be part time, but as the bread winner I don't have a choice sadly, hopefully with the next baby we will reverse things a bit.......               

Carrie December will be here in no time -am also so broody its silly am jealous you can go again so quickly

Janah, the SET/DET debate is so hard! Bluebottle who posts on the NOA board had a SET with one frozen embie and got a BFN, so had two put back fo the last FET and now is expecting twins! it is impossible to predict what is going to happen, you have to go with wtih your gut and financies to decide what is right for you guys. Get in the sun/eat some oily fish girl, you will feel better!

lots of lvoe to all
Ceci


----------



## teresal

Happy 1st Birthday to Noah   

Happy 2nd Birthday to Minis DS1 (clompy jr)


----------



## Pootle77

Happy first birthday Noah!


Happy second birthday Samuel!


Good luck to everyone thinking of going again.


We had our scan today, am 7weeks, baby is measuring 6 +6 and we saw the heartbeat.  Bit of a worry though as she said it looks like the endometrium is breaking down which if it gets worse would lead to a miscarriage.  She suggested seeing the GP aSAP so that I had access to the EPAU.  Don't really know what to think now, trying to be positive and think what will be will be but also rather scared.  Been told to take it easy and no lifting, rather difficult with a 2 year old that needs lifting in and out of his cot, car seat and chair!  But I will take it as easy as possible.


Hope everyone is ok. X.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Sorry to hear that Pootle - can they give you more hormonal support?


----------



## Pootle77

Mistletoe - I'm using Crinone until day 77, routine for my clinic.  Fingers crossed it does it's job!  She seemed to think it was good they'd been no bleeding so far.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies 

Thanks for all the bday wishes for Noah  we had a lovely day . We went out for dinner then had a mini party just me dh and my mum and dad and Noah sandwiches etc and a homemade bday cake !!

Blimey there's going to be a few us us having FET this year !! Here's to hoping we have a lucky thread xx


----------



## amandaloo

Pootle - hope your ok just read the thread . Must be a worry for you . Glad you've got some meds to help , get your feet when u can xxx

Mini - happy bday to your ds1 xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Can they check your progesterone levels? I had 3 times a day cyclogest - usual twice a day due to thick lining.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pootle best of luck hun   it was Lucas not Samuel that was 2.  

Can't believe I have a 2 yr old


----------



## Pootle77

I've rung the clinic about extra progesterone, they're going to talk to the dr and get back to me, but say it's not usual as they don't feel it makes a difference.


Sorry Mini, blame the pregnancy hormones!!!  Can't believe I've got a 2 year old either!


----------



## carrie lou

Sorry about your scare Pootle  Hope your beanie hangs on tight  


Happy birthday to Lucas!  Hope you all had a fab day


----------



## Pootle77

Clinic won't test progesterone levels as they say there's no point as crinone is locally absorbed.  So just got to sit tight and cross fingers.   


Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.


----------



## Fizzypop

Hi Pootle. Am keeping fingers and toes crossed for you x can you ask clinic for different type of progesterone - eg gestone injections. That's what I have - much better than that horrible crinone I feel! Don't know if any one type is better - am sure holly can advise?

Well we are in rainy old Devon. Bit miserable but it seems to be brightening up. On top of that DH thinks my car tyres are worn so I've just sent him off to get them checked. Oh and had amh tested at clinic and it's come out on the low side. They might still let me do egg share as I had a good response last two cycles so we will see. I'm thinking of cycling end of year so another one to add to the list! Otherwise will be shopping around for best interest free credit card!! It's never easy is it...Anyway so to cheer me up we've booked a holiday for 3 weeks time so can have some r n r before coming back to reality!!!


----------



## juju81

Pootle Hun I have everything crossed. 

Fizzy, ooooh where are u going on holiday??

Has anyone heard from northern monkey?? Hope everything's ok preg wise


----------



## Pootle77

Fizzy - clinic have offered nothing other than to say what they saw on scan doesn't necessarily mean doom and gloom!  Good news they may let you egg share even with slightly low AMH, mine was dire, 3ish I think!  Tesco do a great interest free CC at the moment, 16 months interest free.  Enjoy Devon, even if it is rainy and have a fab hol in a few weeks.

Thanks everyone for crossing fingers etc.


----------



## Fizzypop

Ju - we off to St Lucia! Got a really good deal and then as special treat mum paid to upgrade our flights. Woo hoo 

DD went on beach for first time today. Sooo funny that she did not understand what to do (other than eat it!)


----------



## JanaH

Fizzy St Lucia sounds like heaven 


Pootle how are you doing?


Hope everyone is good


We booked to go to Menorca for the weekend, I need some sunshine.


----------



## Pootle77

Very jealous of hols to St Lucia and Menorca, the furthest we're going is Hopton in October!!!


Am ok thanks Jana, no bleeding so assuming I'm still pregnant! Still got sore boobs, but that could be the crinone.  Have had my Mum getting DS up and putting him to bed today so I don't have to lift.  DH is away for work for a few days and then again for 9 days in a week or so so it will be difficult not to lift too much!


Hope everyone is ok. X.


----------



## chrispx

Hello everyone, not been on in ages...I'm rubbish, been back to work, moving house has been manic. House upside down getting walls plastered & everything. Hope everyone is ok.

Mini- cant believe you have a 2 year old, time flies by...seems not long ago you were pregnant with Lucas. 

Good luck to everyone having treatment

Need to ask a quick question...does DS expire?
We have ours in storage & received a letter to ask if we wish to store for a further 5 years and on the letter I noticed it had the storage expiry date as 5 years time...then DS expiry date as another year after that. 

Need to start thinking about more treatment really. It's big decisions feel like got a big clock ticking now.


----------



## pippilongstockings

Pootle - your symptoms sound good, fingers crossed for you     when is your next scan?

chrispx - they can only store sperm for 10 years in total so if it had been in storage for a couple of years before you first used it, it would be fine for another 8 years IYSWIM?

Happy birthday to all the babies/toddlers    Wow, it's nice and busy on here isn't it? And looks like we might have some more babies on the way in the next few months    

Dh and I had The Talk 2 weeks ago..... It went well! He's considering it at the moment and I'm trying not to bug him about it    Every so often he says things like "if we do have another one, I'd like to be in our new house" and "if we do have another one, you'll have to give up work" (not going to happen!) and "where would we have treatment this time" (we've moved 200 miles from our clinic) - so it looks like he is properly thinking about it. Of course, I've gone completely doolalley thinking about it over the last couple of weeks and have already mentally had the baby, named it and shopped for it's coming-home outfit


----------



## juju81

All sounds promising pippi come on pippi's hubby   


I've gone the other way again! After our holiday it made me think I just love holidays so much and how much harder it will be with 2    Stupid I know, but I have to factor these in


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pippi what did u do to get him to think about it  

Ju honestly having 2 is lovely. I love it now. Lucas has started to play with Samuel now in a sort of way.  HAVE ONE!!


----------



## chrispx

Ah thanks pippi that makes sense, it expires 2017  best get cracking didn't realise it only stored for 10 years thought we had it forever


----------



## Pootle77

Had never thought of that re: the sperm storage.  Think we used the last they had with this go, but guess I should confirm!


Pippi - sound like we could hear the pitter patter of a third set of feet!  I'm seeing midwife for the first time on 23rd when I'm just over 9 weeks, earliest appointment I could get, so no planned scan until the 12 week one but may try and persuade GP to send me to EPAU....


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

crispy - nice to see you back hun   

Pootle get a private scan


----------



## Pootle77

Mini - have been looking into it, all quite expensive and not really sure where's best to go.  Also kind of feel if I start down that route it might get a bit addictive


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Just go anywhere that do scans from 6 weeks. They are all as good as each other really. 

Go on you know you want to!


----------



## pippilongstockings

pootle - definitely get a private scan if it'll reassure you. After all the money we spend on getting pg an extra few quid makes no difference   

mini - how dare you suggest I would do something rooooood to convince DH. I am offended. (    )

juju - do it! Just think, in a few years your 2 boys can go off and play together so you can relax on your sunlounger... If you only have 1 you will have to entertain him yourself! So while it is more difficult with 2 when they are little, I would imagine that it is easier when they are a bit older. Has that convinced you?!    Plus, it's lovely seeing them play together and laugh at each other.

Chrispx - they are discussing extending the length of time they can store frozen sperm at the moment so it might change but I don't know if the change would be back-dated to include sperm that is already frozen or if it will just be for sperm frozen after the date the regulations change if you see what I mean? 2017 is ages away anyway, plenty of time to make that decision.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I never mentioned  rood things     

Thought u might of made him a cake or something? Apple pie maybe


----------



## pippilongstockings

I am being very nice to him at the moment as well as the extra   . That'll all stop when he makes his decision (either way)


----------



## pippilongstockings

btw I'm only joking about bribing him with bonking. I genuinely am leaving him to make his decision (my god it's difficult though!)


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

no. i'd bonk away!!    make him feel like hes tried to convince you in number 3!


----------



## juju81

Nothing wrong with a bit of    Bribery   


Pippi, nick loves playing with him on hols. He doesn't want to go with my sister next year in case my nieces take Noah off him and ruin his play time     I wont be able to go on as many if I have another baby tho    We'll see. I'm still awaiting on a final response from The Bridge Centre anyway


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

do it Ju. Honestly its lovely now. Lucas is actually playing with samuel. He loves him! We don't a look in now    we ask lucas for a kiss and he gives one to samuel    I'm so glad we've got 2 now. and i never thought i would feel like that    you know me!    stuff the holidays!


----------



## Lindz

Hiya girlies
Just on way home from a drink with the girls and thought I'd pop in. 

Good luck with DH pippi. Bribe away, pretty sure he won't mind!

Wow Ju, thinking about number 2! I wonder if I'll ever get to that point. At the moment I'm just so grateful that things are a bit easier and more fun and I'm getting some sleep that I can't imagine doing it again. Think having twins has scared/scarred me forever  

X


----------



## Pootle77

Lindz - lovely to 'see' you.


Pippi, Ju and Mini - you do make me laugh!!


Definately planning a private scan, before DH leaves the country for 9 days, so either end of next week or mid the following week, just need his work to confirm dates tomorrow.  That way scan will be half way between clinic one and NHS one, feels like that works in my head


----------



## Pootle77

Scan booked, a week on Sunday.  Not much availability around, seems like everyone wants blooming scans!


----------



## chrispx

Mini- I'm trying to stick around   I miss you guys.

Pippi- that be good if they extend it, the amount it costs we should be able to keep it forever....well until we
Make the decision, my dh says let's keep going until it runs out...the waltons springs to mind (if we're lucky). 

My friend just found out she pregnant with no 5...she doesn't know how it happened   if only it was that easy for us lot.


----------



## amandaloo

Chrispx - . Number 5 heck ! I can't imagine having 5 that's a lot 

Pootle- glad you've got the scan booked best of luck for tommorow will be thinking of you 

Pippi- lol you best get busy with the bribing then eh ;-) 

Lindz- nice to see you how are the twinnies ??


----------



## ceci.bee

good luck pootle thinking of you                     

Ju go for it - NIck would love playing with 2 I am sure, and Noah sounds like he would be a great big bro........

llots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## lucy from kent

Hi, I had a Positive    on Saturday after a frozen et on the 26th June in Prague, we used an egg donor who is anonymous and have chosen to not tell anyone about using a donor, but I wondered if anyone has made this same decision too, and whether they told their gp? I'm wondering if they really need to know? Anyone have any advise........


----------



## ceci.bee

hi Lucy from Kent - congratulations on your BFP that is wonderful news. The telling and talking issue is very complicated, if you decide not to tell, you have to not tell anyone, as if the GP knows and it is in the babies records for whatever reason, if your child requests those records as an adult for any reason, they might read it there, or there might be accidental disclosure to the child by someone else in the practice. it is a mindfield either way, for lots of reasons. There is a support thread for those not telling where you can chat through your concerns and worries without anyone judging your decision, you can find it on the donor boards. It might be worth reading through that thread, and the telling thread and keep your options open about telling the child until you have read all the info. There certainly seems to be data to suggest that children told early in life deal better with the info than those told later in life, but we have no info about those never told who never found out, as they are never studied for obvious reasons!

good luck
Ceci


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Lucy, welcome and congrats on your BFP  I agree with what Ceci says re. telling - if you plan not to tell the child, you have to not tell anyone in case the child finds out from another source which could potentially be devastating for them. The only situation in which I think you may have to tell for medical reasons is at your 12 week scan when they do the nuchal measurement and calculate the baby's risk of Downs and other chromosomal problems. For this they use your age but as you have used donor eggs, they would use the age of the egg donor instead (I think). So if you decided not to tell, the risk calculation may not be accurate. Just something to think about. Best of luck


----------



## ceci.bee

Lucy the thread I mentioned is here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=248488.0

Carrie loving your new profile pic, Z is gorgeous! 
xx


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Ceci! I think so too (but am a little biased  ) Joshi is gorgeous too, can't believe he's 15 months already


----------



## Pootle77

Lucy - congrats on your BFP.  I agree with what Ceci and Carrie have said about telling, so I won't repeat what they've said!


Carrie - Z is so totally cute!


AFM - only 5 days til the next scan.  Everything still seems ok so am hopeful.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Lucy welcome and congrats. Ditto what the others have said. I didn't tell our gp cos we used donor sperm so didn't matter but since we had a natural bfp we've had to tell lots more people about the donor as dh had a chromosomal issue so we had to explain why when pg  with the new baby i had tests and with the oldest i didn't   it all got a bit tangled so I might as well of told more people in the beginning.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie I'm loving bubbas hair colour!


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Mini  I don't know why he always looks ginger in photos, in real life he's more blonde really


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Stwberry blonde


----------



## lucy from kent

Hi again,Its so early days but thinking ahead to my story now   , as such.....and I need some opinions.... We've being trying with ivf for a few years now and had told a few close friends, but as time ticked by they stopped enquiring and I stopped talking about what seemed my constant failure, other than that friends and family dont even know we've thought about children! Like I say we've just had a positive with our 2nd go of deivf, and apart from only one of my closest friends(who would never disclose the info ) knowing about the use of a donor we  do not intent to tell anyone else including the doctors, but i will if needed say it was ivf(just so people understand why  I'm being ultra careful). (and i'll bear in mind the 12wk scan issue) My concern which I'm hoping for some opinions on is, knowing what some of my friends are like with asking questions about things is , do I say we had ivf in London which is where I had treatment for nearly 2yrs or do I say Prague which is where we ended up having the donor treatment? Will saying a Czech hospital start to ring bells to why..... Will they start to think donor, knowing that this treatment is more viable abroad......I just want to stick to the same story cos I dont want to get caught out,  I don't know if the doctors would need to know where treatment took place......it does seem from different messages that docs don't seem to ask that much.....my gut feeling is to say London cos I think it will raise less questions, what do you think? Got first scan next week, I know early days ,keeping everything crossed


----------



## olivia m

Hi Lucy
Just in case you are open to re-thinking your decision not to 'tell'...and you are clearly already experiencing some of the dilemmas and tangles that can follow from such a decision...you might like to look at the following link http://www.donor-conception-network.org/WHY%20OPENNESS%20ABOUT%20DONOR%20CONCEPTION.pdf

DC Network is pro-openness but very much welcomes those who are exploring whether telling is right for them or not. 
Olivia

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## pippilongstockings

Hi Lucy - congratulations! And welcome. We've been open about using donor sperm with close friends and family and our children know/will know about it too, but I understand that different people make different decisions. I think that if you are planning to not tell then you need to keep things as simple as possible. Telling people different things will mean you have to remember who you told what which sounds stressful and confusing. In my experience, doctors will not need to know where you had your treatment. I volunteered the information about our fertility treatment at our first midwife appointment, but you do not have to disclose any information that you are not comfortable disclosing. Not sure how long you have been on FF but there is a dedicated sticky thread for people who have chosen not to tell - they may be able to give you better advice on this issue? Looking forward to getting to 'know' you better on this thread too   

AFM - sorry for lack of personals. We've been in hospital with L for the last few days    His asthma has been really bad, poor mite. He's missed his final 3 days of preschool and it looks like he'll miss the leavers party tomorrow too. I know it's unimportant in the grand scheme of things but I'm really sad for him. He, on the other hand is over the moon at being able to eat chocolate and watch scooby doo all day


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Lucy I would tell the docs if they ask. They need to know it was donor egg. 

As for your friends I would tell them Where u went. If they ask why tell them It was cheaper and good stats. 

Can I ask why u are keeping it from People. Will the baby know?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pipp hope L gets better soon.


----------



## lucy from kent

Hi, we don't plan to tell the child either, the doc advised not to tell cos it's just a cell we've been given and I'll be their mum in everyway , and to be honest I want to believe that he or she is totally mine,and if people know its like I'm constantly reminded and then I'm worried in case I struggle to accept, not sure this makes sense lol difficult to explain how I feel. I thought bout saying treatment was cheaper abroad but do many people actually go abroad for just ivf do you think? That's what I'm worried a couple of friends would think strange and ask questions and then when the baby is born they would look more for comparisons to me, ......


----------



## carrie lou

Lucy in my experience most people are not that interested in where you had treatment. I think perhaps you are worrying a little too much (though it's understandable given the circumstances  ). My DS was conceived with donor sperm, DH has only recently confessed to me how worried he was that he wasn't going to bond with our baby as he is not genetically the father - but in reality there is no question that he is Zac's daddy, he loves him so much. Also people (who don't know how he was conceived) frequently tell us that Z looks like DH - it started even before we left the hospital after he was born! I'm sure when you hold your baby in your arms you will unquestionably be its mummy and love it to bits. And as for other people, let them think what they want - chances are they will start pointing out the baby's similarities to you  People see what they want to see in my experience.


----------



## ceci.bee

Lucy, I get where you are coming from, I think every parent considering using donor for conception worries about if they willl feel enough of a parent, 100% a dad or a mum, or if the child may reject them on the basis of that in the future, I knwo my DH still worries about it now, even though it is totally inconcievable as he is 120% Joshi's dad in every way. As soon as you see your baby in your arms you will be 120% its mummy, you will have grown it and nutured it and loved it in more ways than you can imagine now. I agree with Carrie that most people don't care at all where you had tx but if you do say abroad you have to be prepared for nosey parkers to ask if you used donor, as it is known that more people go abroad for donor tx due to egg shortages in this country..........its amazing what people will ask about and think it is ok. Have you thought about chatting with any mummies who used DE about their experiences of telling or not telling? It is such a huge decision either way with masses of implications for you, your relationships and and obviously the child. I heard somewhere ?here on FF can't remember? that 'those who tell fear secrets and their machinations, and those who don't tell fear stigma and rejection', and I know I certainly fall into the fearing secrets category!

good luck hun       
lots of lvoe to all
Ceci


----------



## Pootle77

We had a scan yesterday and baby measuring spot on 9+3 with heart rate of 171bpm, had booking in appointment with mw today.  Have to wait for appointment for 12 week scan and to see consultant because of how DS arrived.  So mighty relieved, but still no lifting until I've had 12 week scan and seen for sure everything is ok, DH has bogged off with work to China for 9 days so my Mum is coming round to do mornings and evenings, lifting DS from his cot.  So, so lucky I have her here to help.


Pippi - hope L is on the mend.


Love to everyone.


----------



## carrie lou

Pootle that's great news hun, so pleased for you  and how lovely to have your mum to help. Take care  


Hope everyone is well - been a bit quiet on here lately


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

great news pootle


----------



## pippilongstockings

Congratulations Pootle! And bless your helpful mum, what a star   

L's almost back to normal now apart from his behaviour - he seems to have morphed into a stroppy teenager since being in hospital. Lord help us in 10 years time    In other news, DH has decided he does want another one        Not at all what I expected to happen and now I'm in a right panic! It means I actually have to make a decision now!

Sorry, meant to be working so I'd better get back to it..... Back for personals later x


----------



## JanaH

Pootle great news about your scan   


Go for it Pippi     


Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weather.


Afm: we had a quick weekend away to Menorca 2 weekends ago, I just needed sun. Well we started with our next treatment, this month we are doing a mock cycle to see if my progesterone levels are high enough for a natural FET cycle next month.


----------



## Pootle77

Pippi - go for it!


Jana - good luck with the treatment.


AFM - should never have mentioned we've not had fevers with DS, at lunchtime he seemed a bit whingey so took him to Costa for a gingerbread man, they cure anything, he didn't want it, so thought I'd take him home and check his temp, went to get him out of car and he was fitting    Called 999 for the first time ever and amazingly seeing as we live in the sticks the paramedics were here in 8 mins, spent the evening in hosp, they reckon it's just a virus and his temp had got to high so he had a febrile convulsion.  What with that and cat bringing a live mouse in since DH went on his work trip yesterday he's going to be banned from leaving the country ever again!!!!  And the no lifting rule went out the window    All tucked up in bed now and seems fine, fingers crossed.


----------



## Lindz

Oh Pootle, wonderful news on the scan but poor DS and poor you. Can only imagine the stress and worry and rubbish that it's all while DH is away. Hope you both had a good night and DS is feeling up to his gingerbread man today!

Hiya Pippi- wow on DH wanting another! I'd say go for it but easy for me to say, pretty sure we're sticking at two.  

This morning was the first morning EVER they both slept til after 7am. Very late for work now but loving the 9 hours sleep. 
   hello to everyone else!
X


----------



## amandaloo

Aya

Pootle- oh no  What a day you had yesterday hopefuls DS is feeling much better today  

Lindz - yay to the 9hrs  

Pippi- wow number 3 eh  well done with persuading your dh bet you were shocked !

Jana- hello  best of luck with your treatment . Just out if interest is a natural fet cheaper ? 

Hello to everyone sorry for lack of posts finding it difficult to find time with working full time but I'm keeping up with you all. Got consultation re treatment on 2 nd aug . Doubt I'll be starting anything until Oct nov time we need to make our minds up when to start !!


----------



## carrie lou

Pippi - wow, number 3, how exciting - go for it! Glad to hear L is on the mend, poor little man  


Pootle - poor DS and how scary for you! Glad he is OK now though.  


Jana and Amanda - good luck both with your treatment!    I am desperate to start TTC number 2 but am still breastfeeding and no AF yet - so I suppose I have to wait for nature to take its course first!


Lindz - lucky you getting a lie in till 7. I also have an early riser (was 5.45 this morning, yawn!) so I envy you!  


 to everyone else  Just out of interest, has anyone joined the donor sibling register?  I want to but DH isn't keen and says he doesn't want to know - so I suppose I can't do anything unless/until he agrees - I'm just curious and if Z wants to know about half-siblings one day I'd like to have the info ready to give him.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Pootle - febrile convulsions are horrible and scary. Hopefully whatever the illness is it will settle soon.

My cat also brought in a live mouse during the time I had DS and his Grandad here on antibiotics and feeling poorly. It went under the radiator and then the fridge and we could not catch it. I wonder if they think they are helping by bringing food? I worry about what happened to it. grrrrrr!

Carrie - I found out yesterday that C has at least 10 half brothers and sisters as the donor has reached his 10 family limit and there is at least one set of twins.   
And of course I don't know how many the donor has himself. It is also funny thinking that the other parents are out there wondering about C as a half brother to theirs!

I asked the donor bank lady about the donor sibling registry and she suggested that you can find out numbers and sexes but she suggests holding off making contact with any other families until the child is 16 and only if they want to then.

I still want to give Charley a full sibling though who he grows up with. He might get on well with the other half siblings, but it isn't the same as having the same mother and father and growing up together.

I had a really good appointment at the clinic yesterday. My frozen blast is a good one and she has put my chance of success at 70%   I was really shocked by that, but she said these expanding blasts normally survive thawing and because I had a live birth from that batch it is good. She also said that even though I am 41 I still have very active ovaries with lots of follicles visible, so another IVF and I should do well, but due to age chance is 15-20%.


----------



## ceci.bee

Holly that is wonderful news          
That is really interesting about the donor sibling registry. I haven't given it much thought yet, as our donor is from the US and it is too scary to contemplate how many half siblings JOshi may have. DH and I haven't thought about it much, but suspect that we will wait until Joshi is older and the desire to know comes from him rather than us.

Pootle hun          so sorry to hear about DS I hope he has recovered now - it sounds really scary and things like that always seem to happen when DHs are away - all hail the single parents who do everything on their own- I am in awe of them.

So many here are TTC or planning TTC - it is wonderful and I wish I was with you - am sooooo broody! but one of the perks of living in Africa is the weather/comfy living/amazing weekends and holidays/lack of commuting etc (latest pics of Joshi on www.gavemandjoshi.blogspot.com ), but the downsides are no time to take mat leave in my job here (I am the bread winner) and no fertility clinics. I even had a dream about CRGH last night and my consultant was leaving to open a clinic in Manchester and I was begging him to wait until I came back from here - so weird. we have 18 months to go here and then hopefully will have saved enough for another cycle........all crossed for that!

lots of love to all
Ceci 

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## olivia m

Hi Holly
Just interested in what you said about half-siblings.  Do you have an American donor?  I ask because with UK recruited donors it is not possible to make official connections between siblings until the child (young person) themselves decides that they might like this contact at 18 or over and then it is only by mutual consent via the register currently held by the HFEA.  Unofficial half-sibs links are sometimes made via support group and internet sources but it is difficult as most people do not have a donor number.  It is of course possible for parents to find out the number, gender and years of birth of half-sibs from the HFEA at any time.


In the States it is possible for parents to subscribe to the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR) and, via donor numbers, make contact with other families.  I understand that people who have imported sperm to the UK from the States may have a number for their donor and are, therefore, likely to have more success on the DSR, which is open to all UK families anyway.
Olivia


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Olivia - I must have misunderstood the chat at the clinic then. I was told that I could get more information from the HFEA and when I asked about tracing siblings I was told it is recommended to wait until the child is 16-18 so they can make up their own mind. I must have assumed that you could find out more and trace before from that conversation, but it sounds like you can't. Never mind! Ours is a UK donor.

I will try and find out more about C's half siblings as it will be interesting for him to know anyway that they are out there.

Thanks for the info.


----------



## carrie lou

Holly - really interesting to hear about your experience. It is weird to think that our children have half-sibs out there somewhere! We used an American donor so potentially Z could have lots. I would not want to make contact with any of them (until Z is old enough to decide this for himself) I just want to find out how many there are so I can tell him if he asks. But DH keeps saying he doesn't want to know.


----------



## sam mn

Just wanted to say hi. not been on this site for a couple of years.
I was interested in the chat about DH bond to your child. sadly the stress of fetility treatment was too much strain on our marriage and we are now divorced. i had great concerns at the begging of separation that ex dh would walk away particularly because of the orgins of conception, but infact he has become a wonderful father who loves his son very much. our situation is not what either of us wanted for our son but he has 2 loving parents. Gentics dont matter. Nathan does already know about how was concieved and i have been amazed at the questions he asks at 5 years old. the latest is 'mummy how does the sperm get to the egg'. not answerred that one yet lol! 
im worried what the future will bring for Nathan for parents that are no longer together and his beggings not being the conventional way. i just hope that although apart we can work together to provide a stable up bringing for him.
came on here tonight as thinking about things. and the fact i was only able to have one child. i will never forget the support i had from ff.
I dont want this to seem like a sad post. i have a new partner and he has 3 boys. so although i couldnt have anymore children i now have 4 small boys in my life. im ehausted but feel so lucky. Nathan is no longer an only child and loves being part of a large family.
wishing everyone lots of love and happiness.
sam
xxx


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## Rachfins

Hello everyone,

I have only popped on here occaissionally. Just thought I'd say hi and that I have reached 35 weeks. OMG not long to go now.

Holly - Your clinic appointment sounds very positive.

Rach x


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## carrie lou

Rach - wow, 35 weeks - so excited for you!Enjoy your last few weeks of pregnancy  


Sam -   Nice to "meet" you. So sorry to hear about your divorce, that must have been traumatic for all of you, but great to know that DH is still such a fantastic father and you are all happy.  


Hope everyone is enjoying this weather - Z and I are off to meet some friends in the park, make the most of it


----------



## hakunamatata

hi everyone lovely to see such chatter.
pippi well done on convincing dh, youve managed 2, hey go for it. says me quite scared of idea of 2 lol.
so much treatment talk its great. good luck janah and holly. 
pootle so frightening for you hun, not what you needed at all. so hope hes feeling better and you get some rest. so glad you have your mums support. x
addi has cut her second tooth this week, cant believe how fast she is growing. love her so xx
keep chatting girls, love it x


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## teresal

Hi Ladies Think I need a serious kick up the behind and i know you lot are the ladies to do it. one of my friends has just announced that shes 16 weeks pregnant and i am genuinely happy for her, her youngest is nearly 6 and when i had Meredith she said that she would like to have another and hope she has a girl (she has 2 boys) so really its not a surprise that shes pg BUT all of a sudden i have severe green eyed monster syndrome, i have cried so much since she told me cos yes i would love another but i know we can't and i thought i had accepted it but obviously its just sitting there simmering away, i hate not being in control of my life and i feel that because of fertilty issues i cannot make the final decision that i don't want another baby its been taken out of my control, hope that makes sense, life is unfair, i know compared to others problems mine is just selfish,  Yes i have Meredith and believe me i couldn't love her anymore, she is my life, i know i am lucky to have her when others are still struggling to even get pg but..... Oh god its difficult    to all xxx


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## juju81

Teresa hun, I know exactly how you feel    I'm so down at the moment. Every time I log onto ** someone else has uploaded another fecking scan pic. I'm seriously thinking of giving the Internet a wide berth for a while, just until I've picked myself up AGAIN.


I'm frightened of spending money and getting a bfn, I'm scared of getting a bfp then mis carrying, I'm scared of getting stressed through tx and taking it out on Noah, I'm scared of getting PND, I'm scared that if I have a baby it will have severe colic     I'm scared of only ever having one.....I know it all probably sounds irrational but that's all I think about and it makes me want to cry with frustration.  When I think about just having one it actually makes me feel funny, a bit like when your nervous and your breathing goes funny. I'm actually sitting here crying now and I feel really silly cos 'normal' people would probably tell me to get a grip but I can't stop.


I know I joke that I love my holidays etc so might just stick with one but I think I say that to try and convince myself that I only want one.


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Teresa honey    and Juju     I also know exactly how you feel, it seems everywhere I look people are falling pregnant without trying hardly! Even on my parenting board on FF, ladies are conceiving their 2nd naturally after needing IVF for their first - and of course I am happy for them, after all they've been through what we have, but I just feel so so sad knowing that will never happen for us. I'm actually now avoiding that board because I'm finding it so upsetting  So you're definitely not alone. I even wrote a long post about how I was feeling on the "hoping for another miracle" board.


It is so hard because people who've never experienced IF seem to think once you have a baby it's a sort of "cure" - my mum, when I tried to talk to her about it, even said to me I should be grateful for what I have and not make DH feel guilty by being sad! So much for support from her   People just do not understand if they haven't been in our shoes. Of course we are all so very grateful and lucky to have our precious babies. But that doesn't take away the pain of IF which is a lifelong thing, as I'm discovering. You are quite right in saying that decisions and choices have been taken out of our hands and I think we have every right to be unhappy and angry about that. 


My best friend had a DD 4 months after Z was born so we were pregnant together and our babies play together now. She has started talking about TTC their second, we are thinking about it too but it's still a long way off for various reasons - and I am worried what if she gets pregnant before I do this time, I'm terrified about how I will cope with that. I would want to be happy for her but I would just be thinking, why not me all the time.  


Anyway lots and lots of      to both of you


----------



## Pootle77

Just a quickie but wanted to send you guys huge hugs   .  I know we're so so lucky that our treatment second time round worked first time but I am with you JuJu on the worrying, every day I'm on knicker watch and so scared it will all go wrong, knowing how difficult emotionally and financially it would be to go again.  I am still insanely jealous of people who can have a quick @&£* to get pregnant when it's so blinking hard for all of us, and so unfair.


Anyway I'll stop whittering, just wanted you guys to know you're not alone with your feelings.


Lots of love. X.


----------



## hakunamatata

big hugs all around, it doesnt sound right but it is nice that we all share the knowledge of how painful it all is and can therefore support each other x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Tezza    its so sad that the decision is out of your hands    Hope you feel better soon. 

Ju - Thats why i didn't want anymore but i think i convinced myself i didn't want anymore and wanted to move on really quickly. to hide it under the carpet. When i found out i was pg i was in complete shock and absolute horror for all the reasons you stated. I don't think i came to terms with it until after he was born.    But now he is here i do know those feeling i had of 'moving on' was my head in denial and i probab;y did want another one. Hes actually given our family a different dimention. Honestly 2nd time around is much easier. You just get on with it. You are so busy you don't have time to think of the what ifs. I enjoy him more than when lucas was born which is weird cos i had all the time in the world  with lucas.   

I really do understand what you are feeling as i don't think i could of gone through tx again for the fear of BFN/MC etc. it was taken out of my hands too!    

Believe me i am so grateful now. ,I didn't realise how grateful until after he arrived. I really wish all of you could experience this too   

Bite the bullet hun and post that scan picture very soon


----------



## teresal

Thanks everyone
I know there are a few of us feeling the same and in a funny way it helps to know i'm not alone. I wish we could afford to try again but we just don't have the money for IVF, it was just over £5000 when we did our private tx and that was over 3 years ago so we are probably looking at nearer £6000 now, like Ju i think if i did have that money i would be so scared to spend it on tx incase it didn't work considering we where told our chances of conceiving 5 years ago where less than 10%, my AMH was low aswell so if you think of the money, my low AMH and my damned age the chances would be virtually nil i am also scared that if i got back on the rollercoaster i wouldn't know when to get off.
i have my precious daughter and i love her so much, i do have this stupid fear now that if something happens to DH and i she would be alone and not have any siblings to fall back on but i suppose everyone has that fear even if you conceive naturally, so much goes on in this stupid head of mine nowadays

anyway on a brighter note we are planning Merediths 2nd birthday party, shes having a few of her wee pals here next sunday for a party, must be mad    but i want her to have so many memories of her childhood and give her all the things we never had as kids, shes my life and the reason i live my life and i have to keep reminding myself of that

my dad is away on his holidays so 3 weeks of being just a family of 3, its weird when he's not hear causing havoc but so nice that its just the 3 of us, DH and i have decided that we are going to start looking at moving out, not the best decision financially as it will mean leaving dad in here (my house) but for the sake of our marrage and family i think we need to do something, whether we stay locally or move away i don't know yet

hugs to everyone, enjoy your weekend, we are hoping it at least stays dry so we can get some work done in the garden cos it looks neglected so can you lot down south send some sunshine this way please


----------



## ceci.bee

Ladies I am so with you on the stress/anxiety/fear/cost of thinking about TTC again         and theresal I really feel for you especially having a low AMH           I am so strongly broody at the moment I am dreaming about IUI/IVFs and am living in a place where I have no access, even with all the cash in the world (which we don't have!) to get tx. We are all so lucky to have our LOs but they are not a magic cure for IF or the heartbreak that goes with it, and feeling sad when others announce their pg is totally normal. My friends seem to think now that I have J, it is ok to text baby anouncements/** updates etc, whereas before they were a bit more sensitive, and they don't realise it hurts as much now as  it did before........
Ju I am so with you on the ** thing- it seems everyone is posting scan pics/popping babies and it makes things extra hard. You are an amazing mum to Noah, and although undergoing more tx is obviously risky for BFNs or MCs, the chances are you will get a lovely sticky BFP           and Noah will be a wonderful older brother. 

lots of love
CEci


----------



## juju81

Thanks girls, Ceci, that choked me up a bit, thank you   


Minx, your my inspiration.......if you can come through it anyone can, ykwim    


I'm feeling better since my breakdown the other day. We def going to have tx in the new year and so what if I fall preg, I just can't down the sangria on holiday    I'm making the appointment tomorrow for my coil out.


The only thing that is frustrating me is we're going for compo or funding from the bridge to enable us to import more of Noah's sperm from Xytex using a special direction throu a clinic. We've still not heard and what if this goes on for months/years? What if we ended up using different sperm and then they eventually came back to say they would fund it or offered us compo to enable us to fund it? I'm feeling a bit stuck??


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

juju81 said:


> Minx, your my inspiration.......if you can come through it anyone can, ykwim


  

Have you got back to the Bridge yet? 

Honestly Ju I'm really enjoying it 2nd time around more than the 1st time. I think its cos i sort of know what i'm doing now and its nice seeing the stages again.

I wish we could all experience this 

it wasn't until he was born that i realised how god damn lucky i was and i look at him and it feels like i've won the lottery. I'm not saying i didn't feel like this with lucas, cos i did but with samuel i'd laid a 2nd one to rest and then wham, here was a miracle sent from god knows where for some reason.


----------



## juju81

Yeah I got back to them weeks ago, she's just been saying the same every flaming week saying oh it needs to go to this management meeting or so and so needs to look at it *finger*


Samuel is adorable. I blame him for making my broodiness coming back. Seems ages ago I had snuggles with him.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Did you give them a time limit? What is their policy on complaints?

You should see him now, Hes adorable! i think hes going to be laid back like DH and Lucas is like me    a maniac!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Its DHs sperm thats the problem. Always has been. Plus i would end up having all the tests again if i did get pg (CVS) because of his chromosomal problem, It was horrible so i wouldn't want that again. 

We can't afford 3. plus i would want to give up work, i don't think i could cope with working and have 3 babies.   

No I think we'll stick to 2. I'm 40 now so again the odds are really low for conceiveing anyway.


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## juju81

My original letter in feb said 15days   I chase every week!

Cupcake, yeah Noah's fab, cheeky little boy! How's Lilly, she really looks like you


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Did they say 15 days or u? U need to go higher now


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## juju81

They did on their original 'thank you for your complaint letter'   


I'll email again.......!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Idiots


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## pippilongstockings

to everyone      I can empathise with everything everyone has said - in my experience it doesn't ever go away, even when you have 2 babies    I'm still very jealous of pregnant women and those with tiny babies! It's an awful feeling but I guess it's natural if we all feel the same?

juju - give them a call and make sure you speak to the manager. It is not on making you wait so long. Could you contact the HFEA? Surely they should be involved anyway? Will you be using the same clinic for your next cycle? As mini says, although we had a tough tough time with Z and his first few months were horrendous, the parenting side of things is sooooo much easier second time around! Z is 2 1/4 now and has enormous tantrums. When L had mini tantrums (he was so good!) we used to get stressed and wonder what we were doing wrong - with Z we just laugh    I'm hoping it'll be the same when Z gets to L's age as we are really struggling with the testosterone-induced teenage-like behaviour..... Anyway, I'd say go for it. Treatment and early pg second time round is scary cos you know what you stand to gain, but it is well worth it. My boys get on so well, it is lovely seeing them play together. L is away for a week with his nana and Z is refusing to sleep in his own bed, he will only sleep in L's bed as he misses him so much   

teresa -     

cupcake - those girls must be crazy!!    

Pootle - hope everything is ok with you now, how scary    There's not much you can do about the lifting when you have a poorly toddler is there? Make the most of your lovely Mum's help and rest up as much as possible.

hello to everyone I've missed. Trying to get this written while procrastinating at work! Must do some work, must do some work, must do some work...... 

As for us, not much news. We had my niece for 5 days over the weekend and it has been lovely. It was no harder than having the 2 boys on their own, although my niece is extremely easy-going, quiet and well behaved - the opposite to my 2    Still haven't made the decision on #3 yet. Dh has said yes but I know his heart isn't really in it. If I could guarantee him a girl I think he'd be more positive but with 2 boys already and frozen sperm the chances of a boy are much higher! I'd be happy with either personally, I'm a good boy mum    Anyway, must do some work.... x


----------



## carrie lou

Pippi - why are the chances of a boy higher? I would have thought 50/50 - am I missing something?   Anyway I'm sure DH would love the new baby just as much either way  My DH is one of 3 boys and they all get on really well. I say go for it!  


Ju - definitely get on to them and kick some  It's not on making you wait this long


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i was thinking the same carrie   

Pipp - I think i'm a good boy mum    i wouldn't know what to do with a girl    

Whoops forgot to change samuel, hes gone to sleep now. Oh well!


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## juju81

Pippi the hfea and my original clinic are all involved but the error lies with the bridge. So ultimately I want them to pay some way or another. I did get a response back in may for he bridge apologising and offering us free counselling   they can poke their free counselling quite frankly. We're undecided where we will eventually have the tx. Our original clinic were fab and obviously got us 2 bfp's but there's one in Southampton that I easier to get to, however they only use injctables. Although the plus to this Is I dont have that whole stressing about missing my surge. Cost wise, theres not much in it and I know Northern monkey and cupcake have both had success there. I spoke to my original clinic this morning and 2 of the original nurses have left. Gutted   . I need to sort the sperm situation out really because I would really like to use Noah's donor again, however, I am mighty impatient and if it drags on for yrs would I be better using a different one.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Male sperm is more robust and survives freeze thaw better and male embryos develop faster so are often the strongest of the bunch in IVF cycles by the day of transfer and get picked out by the embryologist, so there is a higher chance of a boy with IVF - I believe it is only to the tune of 54% boys versus 46% girls or something like that. I could be wrong, but I am sure that is what I remember reading somewhere on my travels.


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## juju81

I thought pippi just meant she's more likely to have boys cos she has 2 anyway and the sperm batch that was used would be used again do therefore thinks it will be another boy?!


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## carrie lou

What about IUI though? Maybe closer to 50/50 because nature is choosing the embryos iyswim?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Like mistletoe said male sperm is better at being frozen so pippi and ju   are more likely to have a boy.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Suppose makes sense cos dhs sperm is naff but we got a natural bfp and had a boy so the strongest made it which are boy sperm anyway.


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## juju81

I'd be more than happy with another little boy  I have two nieces, there enough


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## pippilongstockings

Yep, boy sperm defrosts better - it's 60:40 according to my clinic. Pls, I've got 2 boys already so higher chance of another boy. Not that I'd mind, boys are great    (as are girls....)


Juju - how crap, you're stuck at the moment then?    Free counselling my ****, a free cycle or two would be more like it!!


----------



## juju81

Complaint update, they have offered one free cycle of diui   just waiting to hear exactly what that covers! I'm starting te ball rolling next week with my clinic with regards to obtaining a special direction to enable us to import more of Noah donor. I'm excited


----------



## carrie lou

Good result Ju! Very exciting for you


----------



## Lindz

Yay Ju. That's a bit more like it. Hope you can get more of Noah's donor too and that they don't make things difficult for you. X


----------



## Pootle77

Wow, good news Ju.  DIUI at our clinic, medicated, cost us £1500, if we'd had to buy the sperm rather than it being bought previously when we had treatment on NHS, it would have been an extra £1000.  That £1500 included drugs, blood tests and scans, the insemination and pregnancy blood test and early scan but nothing beyond that, so suddenly found ourselves paying out loads for crinone!


Good luck!!!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

My GP provided the progesterone support on FP10 prescription as soon as I was confirmed pregnant.. Second time around I knew the system and as soon as I had my BFP and first scan with an EDD listed  I got down the Surgery and got my FW8 form filled in, sent off and got my prescription exemption card.


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## JanaH

Fantastic news Juju!!!


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## ceci.bee

Yay Ju that is wonderful news, am thrilled for you guys 
xx


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## sweetdreams73

juj - great news hun hope all goes great with TX and you can get the DS sorted x     

pip - yep if only we too could have confirmation of our 6 x frozen embroys being girls it might help DH come around to the idea maybe... he has said that we will review the situation next year... I am not holding out much hope     but as we do have our little embroys sitting in a freezer at our clinic it would be so much easier than doing IVF again...but who knows....not easy hun when you want it so badly and your DH is not very keen...    hope he comes around to the idea...take care of your lovely boys xx  

hello to everyone else hope everyone all ok


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

SD are those shorts the boys have on from mothercare?


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## juju81

Thanks everyone,


SD those pics you had done were gorgeous, the boys are just adorable.....you don't fany a football team then


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## amandaloo

Juju- that's great news  good luck with getting the same donor will keep everything crossed for you


----------



## JanaH

Hope everyone is well, and enjoying the olympics. 


SD your twins look gorgeous.


Just a quick update: we had monitoring cycle last cycle, and my progeterone levels not high enough to do a natarul FET, so I'm waiting for AF to arrive (i hope soon) to start down regulating.


----------



## juju81

Janah, they found out from a unplanned dummy cycle my prog levels were low so I couldn't have natural IUi. In a way I was quite thankful, felt a bit more hopeful   


I'm really enjoying the Olympics, we're doing fab


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## abcdefgh

Hello  

Sorry I've not been on in ages and ages. Don't know what happened   - think I was just quite busy and got out of the habit. Anyway, hope everyone is doing ok. Nice to see lots of cute pics of some very grown up looking babies   and it's great that quite a few of you seem to be going for more treatment - good luck!

AFM - I'm now 38 weeks pregnant and still can't quite believe it   . I've generally had a really easy pregnancy but am starting to get a bit uncomfortable at this stage and have carpal tunnel, which is driving me a bit mad at times. Not very long at all to go now though - eek! Will keep you all updated. xx


----------



## carrie lou

Wow Abcd, where did your pregnancy go?    Can't believe you only have a couple of weeks left to go, how exciting  Get lots of sleep while you still can  and I can't wait to hear about your little bundle!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Cupcake - I am in a much healthier, better place now when it comes to pregnancy announcements. I can honestly say successful IVF has cured me from a life of complete misery. I have had over a year of counselling after my m/c and the mind body course to reach this stage too. I love anything baby or children wise and at last feel that I can join in with life. Before I fet like I was in a goldfish bowl watching everyone else having fun.
Not sure how I would feel if someone close to me said they were three months pregnant though as this hasn't happened yet   

ABC - very best of luck for the delivery and newborn days - treasure every moment - it does go so fast. 
I had one joint problem after another after delievery and included carpal tunnel. I have only just stopped having daily symptoms of numbness waking me from the little sleep I could get. I can only put it down to not pushing the pram as much anymore as I am back at work. I did go to the doctors in the end and went to OT and had splints and exercises/massage to do. So perhaps this helped too.


----------



## Rachfins

Abcdefgh - I was just wondering how you were the other day. Great to hear from you. Fab that you have got  to 38 weeks problem free. Not very long till we hear brilliant news from you now.

Cupcake - I've never been to a baby shower and not had one myself. Think it's my age. Assume they are just becoming more popular, and more likely to be had by younger mums to be.

AFM - I'm about a week 1/2 behind Abcdefgh. I have a presentation scan on Friday, as MW thinks baby is in breach position. Was head down a few weeks ago when had a growth scan. Best news is only 4 days left at work.

Rach x


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## ceci.bee

ABC and Rach - wow can't believe you are both so near to B-day, that is fab, and can't wait to hear how you both get on - good luck!

Holly, I know what you mean about IF making you feel like you are in a goldfish bowl looking out on other parent's happiness, and how that having a baby takes away so much of that. I only now feel gutted about pg announcements and births, but it is much easier than before we had J - and hopefully will be easier when we get back to the UK and can TTC for another. Good luck wiht your FET, hope all goes smoothly   

Good luck everyone TTC - am rooting and following you avidly......

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## ceci.bee

cupcake forgot to say how lovely to hear you in such a happy place, it is fab and hope you are enjoying every min! xx


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## juju81

Cupcake, I was fine with announcement and showers until recently. It hits like a knife to the heart. My sister arranged a baby shower for me too. I've never felt so special    I ink Im going to stick to my original clinic, I've had 100% success with them and I'm not doubting Complete would have had success it's just I feel I wanna stick with what I know. I loved my nurse their and thankfully she is still working their x. 


Rachfins/Abcd, your pregnancys have flown by, can flipping wait for your announcement. Am so excited for you both.  Me and paws were due days apart and had them on the same day. 


I'll need another bump buddy.....who's will it be?


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## JanaH

Ju when are you thinking of starting treatment? Is it Diane that you like at Shirley?

Pregnancy anouncements still hurts like hell... My friend called last week so say she is pregnant again, she had her little boy last year after IVF, and this time natural.

Still waiting for AF to arrive, getting inpatient....


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## juju81

Thinking of starting January, and yes it's Diane, how did you guess? Did you go there? I must have missed that!


Come on af come on


----------



## juju81

Ive had another tx development......my lovely nurse Di rang me today, she genuinely sounded pleased to hear from me  <3 anyway, we're booked in to see mr booker next Tuesday at 1.30 and straight after with her.  she's going to speak to him about me not having an HSG, fecking uncomfortable thing, and get a plan of action going, wowsers! She also said I can wait just 3 months for bloods and is calling the HFEA tomorrow to see how we getting the special directive going. This means I might potentially be able to start in December.    I'm so excited I feel like crying. I also can't believe I'm feeling like this      

She also said if the HFeA don't approve the SD then her personal opinion is to import from Xytex. She said they have the best quality sperm with fab defrosted numbers.  I actually agree with her, Noah's sample, defrosted had a sample of about 90million and the sample that gave us him had over 60million


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## ceci.bee

yay ju v exciting ....................


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## JanaH

Great news Ju!!! I'm still a Shirley patient, very happy with their service. Good luck with your appointment with Mr Booker.


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## juju81

Janah do you know I don't remember you saying you were a patient their! I do love them


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Well done ju  

Wow lots of exciting times for alot of u. I'll sit back and twiddle my thumbs and watch the bumps appear!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Wonderful news Juju!

I am also desperate to be pregnant again. I loved it. I am hoping that if it works out at I get my dream number 2 baby then I will feel like I have finished!

What if I need to do another IVF if the FET fails, that works and then I have more frozen embryos that I can't say to destroy.   I know it is very unlikely I'll get that far at my age or have anything to freeze, but both my IVFs I've had frozen embryos left. A friend is in that position. Took 8 cycles of treatment to get to a pregnancy for number 2 - that baby is due this month and she still has frosties left and she will be 43 when healed from c-section.  She is talking about more!

Also rant coming! DH dropped a bit of a bomb shell on me this morning just as I was going to work. Started with a conversation about the dog, and his parents looking after the dog in the daytime, then moved on to the baby. Said his parents effectively see C as C and not their grandchild.  Don't know if it is true or his feelings alone and he is putting his words in his parents' mouths. His mum, well both of them in their own way, seem to love having the baby around. She certainly calls herself granny to him and clucks over him whenever he is there.

I went to work fuming and thinking yet again that I am getting the proverbial dropped on me from a great height by my selfish, mixed up, doesn't know how lucky he is, DH. And whilst I am beyond caring, I am not having C having any dropped on him, as it is not his fault and he deserves to have a loving family.

Tonight he is being sociable and playing with C - not a word about what he said this morning, as if it never happened. I think sometimes there are two of my DH with different personalities!


----------



## juju81

Cupcake, I do remember you in tears about your numbers. But it is true, only one and even with IUI we end up with more near the egg than a 'normal' conception! 


Holly, could you donate your embryos? What a bizarre thing for DH to say to you. Does he say it to hurt you?


----------



## carrie lou

Ju that is wonderful news  December will be here before you know it   

Holly that is a really hurtful thing for your DH to say. As you know I have had issues with my in-laws and am now quite sure my FIL does not see himself as Z's grandfather. If he did he might make more of an effort. He has only visited Z a handful of times in his entire life and when he does, makes it very clear to everyone that he would really rather be anywhere else. But I've come to the conclusion he is a bitter, nasty, hurtful, cruel man and this behaviour is just making it obvious to everyone around him what sort of person he really is. We have a fantastic, beautiful, funny little boy who we love more than anything, who we feared we might never have, if FIL doesn't want to be part of his life it is entirely his loss, we are better off without his input.

Having said all that, it sounds as if your in-laws are relatively normal, sane people (unlike mine) and if they seem to love Charley and call themselves his grandparents (which my FIL does not, in fact he doesn't speak to Z at all), then I don't think you need to worry. Why your DH said such a thing is a mystery but in my experience men often say things they don't mean and then contradict themselves shortly afterwards


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Juju - you have to be 35 or younger at the time of the egg collection to donate embryos. I'm 41 already


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

You can't do it with  donor sperm anyway. The sperm will have been through 3 families iykwim.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Maybe im wrong but I always thought that anyway?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yeah that is true too - my donor has 10 donor families already so could not create an 11th. If he was under the limit then yes.


----------



## abcdefgh

Hi,

Thanks for all your nice messages. Cupcake - yeah, it's a girl   . Can't wait to meet her!

Rach - How did the scan go? I hope you had good news about baby's position. Very exciting time for you as well! Good luck and I'll look forward to hearing your news.

Juju - Great news - very excited for you. Fingers crossed that baby number 2 will be on the way for you very soon! 

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.

xx


----------



## juju81

Abc - any news yet?   


Rachfins? Any news yet?  


Sooooooo, I had my nurse and cons appoint yesterday. Everything good. We're going to do exactly what we did last time. We're waiting to hear of the donor will become identifiable if not we can apply for a special directive from the HFEA and we have a very good chance it will be approved and then we can order some in from Xytex. I'm young and have had 100% success so they are very hopeful for our our cycle. We're hoping to get a sneaky go in in December but have a feeling I'd be testing around Christmas day so might leave it until January. Not sure. I'm very impatient   


So I'm spending the next 3 months trying to shift a bit of weight (they haven't told me to, I just need to for myself lol)  start on my pregnacare (thanks minx) and starts tracking my ovulation each month.  I bought 20smiley face sticks off eBay for £25. Bargain


----------



## Lindz

Wow Ju! All sounds great, can't believ you're going again! Good luck getting the donor sorted. Hope it doesn't slow you down. Was it strange going back to the clinic? I'm scared that I'm starting to think that maybe going for number 3 would be a possibility. If you'd have asked me anytime in the last 2 years I would ah e said no way so who knows what I'll be saying in another 2 years


----------



## juju81

Lindz it was very weird. And just over 3yrs to the day we last went up there for our 8wk scan! On the way I said to nick "I never ever thought we'd be doing this journey again" and like you I honestly didn't think we'd go again!  I'm now petrified of twins    I produced 3 follies with Noah! With regards to the sperm, it may have held things up but I have to wait until my cycles are back to normal after having the coil out. Hopefully have bloods done november. I'm just trying to stay relaxed but every time I think of it I start feeling all anxious


----------



## Rachfins

Hello everyone,

Ju - Great to hear that you are moving on with trying for number 2. I hope you get everything sorted with the donor and the HFEA very soon.

AFM - Now on mat leave. Busy at the moment. I have my sister here, who is being really helpful. Scan showed that the baby hadn't moved and is still in head down position which is great.   I did a private strep B scan and it came back positive. GP phoned me this morning and confirmed that as soon as I go in to labour, I need to go in to hospital to have antibiotics, which is fine as I want everything to be ok with my baby but a shame as I wanted to stay at home for as long as possible. Nothing else to report, apart from nesting instincts keeping me busy.

Hello to everyone else.

Rach x


----------



## juju81

Aww enjoy your mat leave hun, I loved mine. I still think its disgusting they don't routinely test for strep b. I'd be tempted to have it done next time, was it a scan or a blood test? How much was it?


----------



## JanaH

Juju glad your appointment went well. Must admit it felt weird when I went back to the clinic. Hope you get everything sorted with the donor.


Rach I had my GBS done on the NHS. Didn't even know they did the test until I had the phone call to say it's positive. You only go in for the antibiotics when your waters break. My sure you tell your midwife as they need to put stickers on your notes to say you've got GBS.  Enjoy you mat leave


Hope everyone else is doing well.


Afm- one week into d/r with buserelin injections, all blue around my belly button    Baseline scan and trial transfer next Thursday... Had a massive headache on Sunday and Monday luckily the only side effects so far .


----------



## carrie lou

Rach enjoy your mat leave hun  It's such a special time waiting for your little bundle to arrive, it was some of the happiest days of my life  


It is odd they don't routinely test for GBS - I wonder why not?  


Jana - good luck


----------



## ceci.bee

yay Ju very exciting for you   

Janah hun good luck           

ABC and Rach enjoy the last few days - I spent mine stuck on a hospital bed, so enjoy being at home nesting   

am soooooooooo broody! will be living vicariously through you guys for the next while till it passes methinks
lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## Rachfins

Juju81 - I paid £35 to have it done privately. It is a swab test that you have to do yourself, well my mw wouldn't anyway.

JanaH - I was told that if you need to be tested for something else in Leeds, then Sterp B will also be tested for but they won't do it routinely.

Carrie Lou - Enjoying mat leave so far but then my sister has come to stay for a few days and is helping with tidying out drawers and cupboards in my kitchen. Not enjoying babies bottom in my ribs though.

Ceci - Hope you get to have number 2 soon.

Rach x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I was reading the RCOG guidelines the other day and it seems the risk is 1 in 2000 babies will get a GBS infection - 340 will catch it per year and 34 babies will die.
1/4 of women carry the bug so would get antibiotics and this could result in some women having serious side-effects from antibiotics - even fatal allergic reactions or the bug would be resistant and harder to treat.
They are doing research to determine whether a national program would be effective.

http://www.rcog.org.uk/files/rcog-corp/Preventing%20Group%20B%20Streptococcus%20%28GBS%29%20Infection%20In%20Newborn%20Babies.pdf

/links


----------



## abcdefgh

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been a little slow to update but wanted to let you know that our little girl was born on Tuesday at 2 am, weighing 7lb 13 oz. She's lovely and we're all doing well and are very happy. My DH is proving to be an amazing daddy and it's just so sweet. I don't really want to put her name on the public boards but if anyone wants to know, feel free to PM me. 

xxx


----------



## Rachfins

Abcdefgh - That's fabulous news. I'm glad you're all doing well.


----------



## teresal

abcdef -- congratulations honey, enjoy this time, it goes so fast


----------



## juju81

Abc that is fab news and massive congratulations hun, it's the BEST feeling in the whole world. Enjoy her xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Abcd - wonderful news honey, many congratulations!     Enjoy your special first few weeks with her. I hope everything is going well


----------



## Lindz

Huge congratulations abc and DH on the birth of your daughter.  Hope you manage some sleep! X


----------



## Pootle77

Congratulations!  Enjoy!


----------



## amandaloo

Abcd- huge congratulations on the birth of your precious baby girl . Enjoy every minute . Xx


----------



## JanaH

Abcd congrats on the birth of your precious girl.


----------



## abcdefgh

Thanks everyone!  

Rach - Looking forward to your baby news. Hope you are surviving the end of your pregnancy and are not too uncomfortable!

Ju - I tried to reply to your message but it says you've blocked me!   . Will try again later, or maybe you can see if it's because your inbox is full or something.

xx


----------



## Rachfins

Abcdefgh - I'm doing fine thanks. Head only engaged 2/5. Back to hospital on Tuesday. I've been telling Lo to stay put till 1st Sept anyway! x


----------



## juju81

Abcd, how bizarre cos when I went into message settings I had it set to receive from administration only? I never set that!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

have you been naughty JU!     

Congrats ABC    look after yourself


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Wonderful news ABC


----------



## abcdefgh

Cupcake - I couldn't PM you as your inbox is full   . 

Things are going well for us. In some ways seems like our little one has been with us forever but I also can't believe she's nearly a week old already, if that makes any sense! She's let us have quite a lot of sleep so far   - long may it last!

xx


----------



## ceci.bee

congrats abc that is wonderful news I am thrilled for you and your daughter (and the sleep!)

Rach good luck hun hope your LO turns up soon

lots of love to all
ceci


----------



## Rachfins

Abcdefgh - She sounds perfect.

Thanks Ceci.

I had a stretch and sweep ths morning. Stretched from 1cm to 2cm. Nothing yet but takes up to 48 hours if it is going to work. Just have to wait and see. In any event I have been booked in for an induction on 11th Sept at 42 weeks if Lo has appeared.

Rach x


----------



## JanaH

Rach hope the sweep kick starts labour. Take it easy and rest whilst you still can


----------



## juju81

Labour vibes coming your way, did they recommend you did it or not now that your cervix is open slightly?


Janah, how's your tx going? I cant see from your sig now but I'm assuming your having IVF? Is that at mayday?


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Rach, hope things start happening for you soon   


Abcd - great that DD is sleeping well  How is the feeding going?  


AFU - have had a dreadful weekend  All 3 of us had severe D&V though oddly Zac had it the least severe of all of us. Just starting to feel back to normal now. I can't believe how many bugs Z has had this year and it's always after we've been somewhere with lots of other little ones, am starting to think I shouldn't let other kids touch him if this is what happens!   Neurotic mummy!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

No keep up with him seeing other kids. his immune system will soon be made of steel. Its good for them.    Sorry you were all ill.   

RAch    good luck hun


----------



## carrie lou

I keep thinking that Mini but it's been one bug after another for the last 6 months  When will his immune system catch up I thought being breastfed he would have an advantage here ... Of course I won't stop him seeing other kids really


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

all kids are different. I bottle fed and i was surprised my 2 haven't picked up hardly anything. Lucas had alot of colds when he started nursery but that seems to have stopped. He got CP whern he was 15 months. 

Samuel hasn't even had calpol yet!    Lucas lived off calpol for the 1st yr   

But my friend Breast fed and her kids where ALWAYS ill. honsetly i don't know why.


----------



## JanaH

Juju, thanks for asking. We are doing FET at Shirley Oaks. Had my d/r scan last Thursday and started progynova will have my lining scan on Monday and if everything looks ok we will thaw the week after. So far et is planned for the 10th. How is all your planning going for the next tx?


Carrie hope you all get better soon, we have been lucky so far J hasn't been too ill so far. I thought he will be really ill from being at nursery.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Jana H - good luck for the FET!

Rach - good luck for the birth - sounds imminent!

Carrie - sorry you have been ill. Yuk!

Well I am seriously sad and fed up today. My CM dropped me in it this morning by giving me 1 month's notice to quit after only being there 6 bloody weeks! She (or rather her DH) can't cope with my long hours in London as he works night time to lunch and as I have to pick up at 7pm he does not get any time with the family. Apparently they had a huge row about it on holiday last week and she has now dumped me and Charley. I am so angry and upset. My poor little man being pushed around from pillar to post. Her kids still have her at home with them but my little man has to get used to a whole new facility and situation when he is only 14 months old and his mummy has just started to leave him for work 6 weeks ago.

I really wish she had thought this through before and not agreed to take us on.   

On a brighter note we went to the beach yesterday and C loved it. He loved digging sand castles, loved ice cream (complete with grit) and rode on a real life donkey called Candy. He had a picnic on the beach and paddled in the sea and found shells. It was so much fun. He was so happy running around and a total delight.


----------



## juju81

Carrie, Noah goes through stages of illness. He's had terrible croup a few times, although not to many bugs thank god! Some children are just vulnerable.  It's nothing you or anyone does.  I was a very sickly child, my younger sister not so.  She still hasn't had chicken pox and yet had 2 older sisters that did!


Janah, oooh, they never used to do that treatment at SO, or think that's full blown IVF. I know that was usually done at mayday.      We're just waiting to hear from the HFEA about the special directive to import more of Noah's sperm.  The bridge are funding everything so that's lifted a huge weight off our shoulders. May have the option to have a treatment in December. Not sure whether to or not   


Oh holly,   suppose childminders never really know how hours are going to impact on their family. Does your dh work late too? Could he not pick up earlier? My mil is a childminder and has a child until 7 and every other Saturday. She's exhausted.  Bless charley at the beach.  I live on e beach (not physically on the beach) but I'm right down on the south coast.  I'm very very lucky, it's about a 10min walk from my house. It's fab having it but tbh I don't make the most of it and I really should


----------



## carrie lou

Oh Holly, that's rubbish for you and Charley  It does sound like a lot for a CM to take on and I agree she should have been more sure before she agreed to it. A month doesn't seem like long, do you think you will be able to find someone suitable by then?  


Thanks for all the comments re. illness, I guess we have just been unlucky - he doesn't even go to nursery so I can't blame it on that!  At least he always bounces back quickly. He hasn't had CP yet, my friend's DD has just had it so I suppose we still have that to look forward to


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly yeah she should of talked it through with her dh before taking u on. What a joke 

Carrie this is the best age to get cp. it doesn't affect them much. The older the worse it is. Get him to a cp party!  

I keep thinking we've got over cp and things like that but we've got it all to come again with number 2  

#2 had his 3rd lot of injections yesterday.


----------



## ceci.bee

Carrie so sorry Z has been so ill - a paediatrician friend here in Malawi said 'they are little virus factories'    which I thought summed it up brilliantly. Joshi has hardly been ill here, but as soon as we get back to the UK each time he is immediately sick which makes the trips a bit less fun - I think when we return permanently he will never get to nursery as he will be sick all the time!

Holly I am so sorry about your CM, it is tough for you guys and tough for her as well as I am sure it was not an easy decision    I hope you find a new one soon and I am sure C will get on with it as little kids do. loved your descirption of the beach - it is moments like that we all used to dream of before we became mummies and I think they make the pain of IF melt away   

Rach good luck hun             

Janah, yay you are DR that is fab                it all goes smoothly from here on in to a sticky BFP   

AFM all fine here, just heading home for a month next week and cant wait to eat cheese and not get woken up by mosquitos and roosters    J being so adorable at the moment - he has nearly 90 words now (we are not keeping count or anything   ) and yesterday fell over while pointing at the sky saying 'Moon!'  

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## juju81

'not keeping count or anything'       does J fly well?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Blimey 90 words. He's good.  Ds1 didn't really start speaking till he was 18 months


----------



## carrie lou

Zac doesn't say that many either - do animal noises count?  But he understands every word we say to him so I reckon it won't be long...


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Charley has said about a dozen words with meaning - mum mum mum mummy, dada, no, tickle, dog, cluck, ta, someone's name, oh dear, row row, drink and tried to repeat some others - we had an attempt at tomato the other day that was almost imperceptible. He might say a few other things too, but I am never sure if it is real or not. He ''talks'' ALL the time. Never stops. Has great long ''conversations'' with everybody - with absolutely no idea what he is talking about - but all the to and fro and intonation is there.

He was pointing all day today telling me ''doo'' ''dah'' ''ohh'' at everything.
I also specifically asked him to bring me a book this evening. He went off three times to look for one and came back empty handed so I asked him one last time and he went over and got his book the CM writes his daily diary in and brought me that. So sweet.

Are any of your little ones inspecting inside your mouth, especially when eating. My LO prizes open my mouth and has a good look inside. Perhaps he will be a dentist!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hi Cupcake - not easy. Some are too far away as I'd have to drive there, come home, get the train and do the reverse in the evening. Most don't want my hours or are full.

I have applied for the work nursery. I did not want him in nursery, but I being left with no choice and I am trying to be positive about how much he will gain from it rather than dwelling on the reasons why I did not want nursery.


----------



## Lindz

Morning everyone
Holly how frustrating about your child minder. As you say she really ahou have thought about whether she could do the hours etc before agreeing to take Charlie. Just wanted to say that a childminder was going to be my first choice but I couldnt find anyone I liked who could take both. In the end nursery has been really good. They both enjoy it and run in happily (though settling did take DD a while. In the sessions I've observed I've seen some advantages. They do learn from being in a big group. It was very cute when I watched my two go with the older ones to wash their hands and all sit nicely for snack time. Girls who look after them are lovely too and seem to have a close relationship with lots of kisses which is what I was worried about not happening at nursery. 

Hope you get something sorted that you and C are both happy with xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly what are your reasons against a nursery? 

Ours has been really good for DS1. Hes learnt such a lot from them. Like lindz he will sit at the table - nicely    and eat the food in fromt of him    They learn so much there. Ok they don't get out like a childminder would but i do think it enables them to get ready for play school and school.  Being in full time he might get out more,. DS1 only does half days so doesn't really get out. He plays outside tho/.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

My reasons were that before the age of 2 I think they need a home environment with one to one care and consistency ( that has gone out of the window now!). Cuddles and kisses and knowing they can go to someone for a cuddle if upset.
Not lots of other children competing for attention. Reduced exposure to illness. Cleaner environment. Going out and about to see a wider variety of places and have a more normal family existence whilst so young. Going to activities with other children he knows from baby groups at the children's centre he already knows. Not having to be on train in rush hour or delays or freezing/wet/boiling conditions. Not able to take child to nursery for 48 hours after a temperature.

Advantages to nursery is close by to me in the day if there is a problem, extra 2 hours a day spent with me commuting - can read to him if not too crowded (so he will see trains and walk down the road in the buggy with me every day). I live right next to the station, so no driving in the morning and long walk to the station from CM's house. Dog gets a short walk morning and evening dropping him off.
At nursery he would get used to lots of other children, different cultures and backgrounds. Lots of learning - they even have sensory rooms and lovely play gardens. Lots of messy play. Prep for school better as he will be used to it already. Maybe a more robust immune system for school as he will already have had everything! Nursery won't close down on me and won't stop if a staff member sick.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

See there's always a bright side


----------



## northernmonkey

Hello ladies,


Got a rare 5 minutes to myself so popping on to say hello. 


Abc - congratulations, glad to hear everything is going well. Bet you can't remember what life was like without dd now! 


Holly - you must be gutted about your CM letting you down, but your work nursery does sound fab. Hope you manage to get sorted soon. How are your plans going for number 2??


Juju - glad you've decided to go for number 2 too! You decided whether to squeeze in a cycle before Christmas? 


Rach - hope you're managing to enjoy the last few days of pregnancy and not too uncomfortable/impatient! I remember being sooooo irritable when dd#2 was late and that was only by 3 days! 


Hope everyone else is well and enjoying the last of the sunshine. 


AFM - will be 26 weeks on Monday!!!! I don't know where this pregnancy has gone, it's just flying. I'm so excited but still can't really believe that we'll have another little person here soon!  We didn't find out the sex of baby but I just keep imagining another girl.... I don't care either way and dh


----------



## northernmonkey

Poo, pressed send too soon. Was going to say dh not fussed either but dd#1 would love a brother. I suspect #2 will want to send it straight back whatever it is    She does not enjoy sharing mummy.... 


Right, off to bed. Dd#2 getting her final 2 teeth and has a sore bot so I'm not expecting the best night's sleep... 


Nighty night all


Xx


----------



## juju81

Nice to hear from you NM, what's your due date? Everything going ok at the moment?


Yes decided to go for number 2. I might be able to get a tx in in December but I think I'm going to hold off and hope I can go beginning of January instead. If I have tx in december I'll be to far gone to travel insurance wise in June next year. Also, it will likely be an August baby! I'd rather wait until January aswell because if we go December and it doesn't work, I'll want to go straight away in January but we won't have the money straight after Xmas! Not sure yet. We have been told though that The Bridge are funding everything for us so that's really taken the pressure off. I just have to hope I don't come on Christmas eve or Christmas day. I don't know tho, I'm so impatient. I'll wait and see what the situation is oct/nov


----------



## northernmonkey

Ha ha, I know what you mean about not being patient. Once we'd decided to go for tx again I couldn't wait to just start. Although like you I didn't want an August baby either so we did end up waiting. It's such a mix of emotions isn't it - one minute you're excited, the next dreading it. But just think this time next year you could be about to give birth! that's great that the Bridge are funding it. Can you use the same donor? 


Yes I'm fine at the mo thanks. My bump isn't too big yet  (well I don't think so but other people tell me it is   ) so I haven't reached the uncomfortable stage. I make my due date 17th December but I'd love baby to be born on 20th because that was my grandad's birthday. Mine is also the 21st so I could be spending an interesting birthday


----------



## JanaH

Hi ladies,


Just a quick update.... I'm officially PUPO. Had 2 expanding blast transfered this afternoon. Everything went smoothly, so now it's the wait. Will most likely start testing on Saturday


----------



## northernmonkey

Good luck Jana!!    ps scuse my ignorance but what is an expanding blast


----------



## juju81

NM, I'm petrified of getting a BFP and the worrying that comes with it    I've just got to go for it tho   


Jansh, that's fab, when is otd?


----------



## JanaH

NM - Q: What is an expanded blastocyst?A: An expanded blastocyst is an embryo that has grown to 5 or 6 days old and has become a hollow ball of cells taking in fluid from the external environment. The cells have specialized into 2 kinds of cells, baby making cells and membrane making cells.
Juju - in 12 days but I always test early, tested positive 5 days after transfer.


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Jana   


NM - wow nearly 26 weeks already, where did that go My brother's birthday is the 15th Dec  Are you DDs excited about the new baby?


----------



## juju81

Wow brilliant embryos then, got a good feeling   


I'm an early tester too! 12 days tho would make you way past 14 dpo iykwim. That would make you nearly 5wks preg by the time you test?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

blimey JanaH 2 expanding blasts    

Good luck   

NM - how are you coping with 2 babbas and being pg?


----------



## northernmonkey

Jana - wow that sounds promising! Double trouble perhaps.... ??   


Ju - if you're anything like me then yes you will still be anxious, but running around after Noah means you just won't have as much time to worry. 


Mini - I'm doing great actually. I really thought that physically I'd be a wreck by now but I'm ok. I did say to dh at the weekend that I reckon i could manage one more pregnancy but I think another bout of sleepless nights will be the thing to finish me off.... I don't know if I'd be feeling as good if it wasn't for dh mind you, he's a real star and will help out with the housework/shopping/kids as much as he can. Don't know how I'd manage without him bless him. How are you and your boys?


Carrie - my 12 week scan dated me as the 14th so 15th is definitely a possibility... DD 1 is really excited about the baby, I have a pregnancy app on my phone that she's always looking at and she loves feeling the baby move and watching my stomach jump when it kicks. She's a real little mummy anyway so we knew she would be like that. As for the youngest, I don't think she understands really and I think she'll be quite jealous when it does arrive...  How are you?  Any improvement with the in laws yet or is that a silly question?


Anyone heard from Speeder or Spooks lately?


----------



## speeder

Northern Monkey - you must be psychic as I happened to be on computer tonight and thought "I MUST log on to ff and catch up on the the news".  and there was the first post I saw asking after me.  Thanks for thinking of me   

Crikey I've missed so much!

NM - can't believe you only have 15 weeks to go!!!!  You are amazing being pg with two little ones.   
Jana - PUPO - fantastic    and it all sounds very hopeful.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you for the next 12 or so days (early testing?!)
Juju - that is great you are going for number 2.  I know it's nervewracking but so exciting - you will just want to get started... 
Rach - are you about to pop?  How are you feeling - it feels like yesterday you announced your bfp when I was 39 weeks or so with DD2 and you are about to meet your little one.  All the very best for birth x
Holly - sorry to hear you've had CM hassles.  If it helps, despite all my reservations about nursery for DD1, it's worked out very well and I genuinely believe that nurseries are a good thing.... 
Carrie - I see you are a staff trainee!  How exciting! Dare I ask if the in-laws are any better? 

Sorry for everyone I've missed - I've not managed to read back much....

DD2 is nearly 9 months old and I honestly can't believe how fast it's gone - even faster this time and, although I'm usually nackered all the time, I'm scared by how content I feel with my two little girls. I've really enjoyed my mat leave and am in no rush to go back but I've only got 10 weeks left or so.  DD2 is still breastfed so somehow I've got to get her on a bottle soon but she's refused so far. Any tips?!

NM - I'm actually a little envious (and in awe) of you having number 3.  DH is adamant we should stop at two (and it's not like I can accidentally get pregnant huh) so I'm trying to ignore how broody I feel again. 

I could waffle on for hours about the DDs but probably not that interesting! 

I've been thinking of you all and promise to log on sooner next time.  Huge baby dust to everyone about to start tx xxxxx


----------



## Pootle77

Hello everyone!


Speeder, glad everything is going well with two!


NM, can't believe you're 26 weeks.


Jana, congrats on being PUPO!


Holly, hope you've got nursery sorted.


Juju, you'll be starting treatment before you know it!  I reckon I'm more anxious this time round, but only because of DS being prem.


Rach, you must be due anyday!


Ceci, blimey 90 words, DS is 2 and nearly 3 months and only has about 50.  He's got speech delay, and the speech therapist told us to keep a tally of his words, and to go back if we didn't hit 50 before 2 and a half.  Thankfully we've made it!!


AFM, am now 17 weeks according to scan but 16+5 according to my dates!  I heard the heartbeat yesterday but am still so nervous about having another preemie.  Due date is Feb but am aiming for Christmas and anything else is a bonus!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

9 months already - where did that go Speeder?
Thanks for the reassurance over nursery. I've been offered a place today and I have to pay up and sign up by the 24th if I want it. I am leaning more and more towards it. For one thing I will save £20 per day compared to the cost I would have to pay with another CM and as he gets older it goes up to £37 LESS per DAY! I went to see a CM on Sunday and when I got there her house was deserted. Turned out she was at the doctors with her lo and it made me realise how unreliable they are, even if genuine reasons. You are reliant on one person. Not sure how much time you need off in nursery with the sickness policy, but it is not their staff sickness that is the problem, but only if your child is or has been ill.
Had another run in with my CM tonight. I asked her if she could provide 4 hours care a month when I have to attend a monthly team leader meeting, as nursery you can't swap days. She ummed and ahhhed and said probably would be OK. I'm afraid I was rather short with her. I am at snapping point with it all as it is her that has caused this fiasco and work is applying so much pressure. I can't wait to get the remaining 10 days there over with to be honest. I am going to see if a friend can help out instead.


----------



## carrie lou

Holly - that's great about nursery place  I know it's not what you originally planned but sounds like it will work out really well and I'm sure C will adapt easily  


Pootle - 17 weeks. that's great  Hang on in there little bean!!!  


Speeder - yes I'm a staff trainee, very exciting  Z has never taken a bottle so I'm not sure I can be of any help in that respect ... you don't have to give her a bottle though if you are happy to keep bfing morning and night, that might be enough at her age?  I have heard tips such as warming the teat of the bottle, trying different types of bottles/teats (some are more like the breast than others apparently) and get someone else to give it to her while you are out of the room. Alternatively you could give her milk in a cup instead - Z will drink just about any beverage from his tommee tippee cup very happily, even milk! Hope some of this is helpful  


The in-law situation is no better and no worse really ... we haven't been to their house in nearly a year, since that awful weekend when Z was just 4 months old  I use the excuse that it is too far to travel with Z (3 hours drive and he hates being in the car seat for more than 20 minutes  ). They have been to visit us a few times. FIL only on one or two occasions and when he does come he completely ignores me and Z. MIL is a raving lunatic as per usual but I try to stay out of her way as much as possible. She puts on this act like we're all happy families but I now know what she really thinks of me deep down so I find it hard to play along  


Anyway on to happier things. Z's favourite word at the moment is Mama    He will come up to me, look me right in the eye, say "Mama" then give me a big hug. It's the best feeling ever and makes everything we went through to have him so very worthwhile


----------



## dingle123

Awe! Mama - gorgeous!


----------



## abcdefgh

Jana - Congrats on being PUPO! Best of luck   

NM - Glad everything's going well with the pregnancy  

Carrie - Aw, how cute  

Speeder -   Glad you're enjoying life with your two little girlies.

Mistletoe - Sorry to hear about issues with your CM. Sounds stressful  

Rach - Are you now a mummy?! Hope you're doing ok. x

Hello Juju, Mini, Cupcake, Lindz, Ceci and everyone else 

Quick question from me... I emailed my clinic to let them know that I'd had the baby - just gave birth date and told them it was a girl - and they've sent me back a 'pregnancy outcome' form to complete, which asks for quite a lot of details e.g. full name, NHS number, birth weight, details of labour, baby's health etc. I don't mind providing this info but I was just wondering what it's for as they haven'y made this clear. Is it what the HFEA require? Most of the questions are marked with an asterisk and it says they must be answered.


----------



## juju81

Yes abc I had that too. Think it goes to the HFEA 

Hope things are going great with your bubba x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yeah it's hfea. It's for their stats. 

Back laters. 

Ps Lucas'  fave word is NO


----------



## carrie lou

Yes Z's just learnt that one too  


Abc - we had to fill in a form like that too. Not sure what they need it for but the other girls are prob right that it's for the HFEA  


Rach - any news


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I never had to fill out that form. I had a conversation with the nurse who asked me some of those questions - I remember being asked about delivery via c-section and gestation - but not NHS number or some of the other bits. I guess she must have completed form.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Sorry I don't seem to find time to post much anymore finding it hard juggling full time work with looking after Noah and Internet posting just about manage the first two ! Currently on mi
Hols with free wifi so thought I'd catch up !

Lots going on

Jana-best of luck it sounds very very promising Will be very excited to see your news 

Holly- sorry to hear about your CM issues sounds like a nightmare :-(( . If it helps I've found nursery very good so far . It took DS a while to settle In but once he did he seems to like it. 

Juju- sounds like you've got a good plan there  I'm sure like the others have said you will be too busy concentrating on Noah to worry too much hope that's the case for you anyway

Carrie- DS fav word still DaDa ha ha typical I look forward to the day it's mama ! Good luck with your training 

Ceci- heck I'm impressed ! I did gear DS saying toothbrush one day ( never said it again!) I nearly dropped on the floor

Speeder- I'm not sure what your q was but if it's struggling with getting Lo onto bottle my friend struggled with it and she eventually managed to get her to drink from cup but it's without the spout on took a while though

Hi to everyone I've missed 

Afm - got nurse consult on wed next week hoping to start FET soon might be able to do it this cycle. Plan is to transfer my best blast and if that dosent wrk then next try my last two blasts . I hate wrking full time but don't feel I've much choice knowing paying for tx :-(


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - good to hear from you - best of luck for the FET! I've just put my prescription in for my drugs too!

Well, I'm now very confused. I went to see a childminder tonight who is further away and more expensive than I like, but she is lovely. Her DH is also a registered childminder and helps when he has no building work to do and she is going to get her sunt registered as an assistant for school runs so the little ones can stay home with her rather than be dragged in the car.

I really don't know what to do now. The nursery had some advantages, and this childminder is lovely.

I am now wondering whether to split the week between the two. Will this be beneficial in terms of development or be confusing for a little one?


----------



## juju81

Holly I don't think it will be anymore confusing then when they start playschool. Noah will send the  a morning at playschool and the afternoon at CM!


Do what you feel is right in your head tho hun


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- I dont think it would matter splitting it , and you can always fall back on nursery increasing hours if it dosent wrk out with CM . My DS goes to my mums twice a week and nursery once . My mum cares for my grandad too though so I've got nursery to fall back on . Nursery said it's easier to increase hrs if they  are already going


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly Lucas is at nursery 2 days and my MIL and mum has him the rest of the time when i'm at work. I think its good that they aren't reliant on just one carer

Hi amanda


----------



## Rachfins

Hi Ladies, been a bit too busy to post.

On 9th Sept at 7.45am Daisy Rebecca was born weighing 7.7lb after a trip to theatre and forceps delivery. We're still in hospital because she got an infection but should be going home tomorrow.

Rach x


----------



## juju81

Awww Rach massive huge congratulations. Daisy is a beautiful name 

Another horrendous birth to add to the collection   

Enjoy her my lovely xxxxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Congrats hun. Rebecca is a fabulous name if I say so myself   

Daisy is too!


----------



## hakunamatata

yippee congrats to rach and abc. i always thought after our struggle to conceive we should have/deserve easy births, but it never works like that does it. enjoy every second, it flies. Addison is 7 months now and its crazy how quick its gone. we have chats about no 2 daily as time ticking for me. had a lovely hol in centre parcs, though of you ju. was unimpressed with the accomodation tho.
hope youre home soon rach. abc i would love to know the name. xx
holly i cant believe how your cm has put you out, defo line up a friend. x
ju cant wait to hear youre pupo again, go girl
janah congrats on being pupo and sounds really good. 
pootle glad all is going well in pg, i can understand your nerves x
hope everyone is well. im still here but dont pick up the laptop often x unfort tomorrow sees the end of hubbies hol, have so enjoyed family time. x i do get down when he leaves for work, must focus on the positives. big hugs for all xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hak which centre parcs did you go to? We went the week before last to elveden.


----------



## carrie lou

Rach -      So pleased to read your news! Congratulations hun. Sorry it sounds a bit traumatic but hopefully things are going OK now. Lots of love to baby Daisy    


We're just back from a weekend away ... we met up with my cousin who is over from New Zealand, she has a little boy 6 weeks younger than Z and it was the first time the two had met, was SOOOO cute watching them play together


----------



## abcdefgh

Rach -   to you and your DH on the birth of little Daisy Rebecca! Wonderful news  . I had the dreaded forceps too - ouch! - but luckily it's all quickly forgotten about once you're cuddling your little one. Hope all is going well now at home. xx

Hello to everyone else. xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Rach - Congratulations on the birth of Daisy


----------



## juju81

Oooh Hak, what accom did you have? Just basic comfort? We go executive   


Carrie it's lovely watching kids play <3


Abc, I can't say I've ever forgotten my labour/forceps     


Minx, did you book again? Do it 


I've just been to Edinburgh on a hen wknd. What a beautiful city. I want to go back


----------



## amandaloo

Rachfins- congratulations ))) what a beautiful name I love it . Enjoy every min . Ps I had forceps too ! Seems like a few of us had them oww and they hand delivered my placenta yukkk . Hope you recover quickly and enjoy every minute xxxx


----------



## teresal

Rach -- Congratulations Hun, brilliant news, enjoy every minute, beautiful name aswell xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

No not booked yet. Dh is waiting for his holiday rota to come out. 

Hak yeah go exec!


----------



## northernmonkey

Rachfins - massive congratulations, hope Daisy wasn't too poorly with the infection and that you're settling back down ok at home now. 


Juju - I love Edinburgh too, I went for New Year 4 or 5 years on the trot and it was amazing. Haven't been for years now that I live so much further away.   


Holly - using both cm and nursery sounds a great idea. Charley will get the best of both worlds and he might make the decision for you if he shows a clear preference for one or the other. 


Amanda - good luck for your appt on Wednesday. Exciting stuff! 


Teresa - how are you? Have you made any more decisions about moving? 


Pootle - glad to hear everything is ok with you - almost halfway there already! 


Speeder - my youngest never took a bottle either, she went onto a cup at 6 months but just couldn't work out what to do with a teat, she would just sit and chew it! My friend had the same problem with her third when she was going back to work. She kept trying and trying and baby did eventually take it. 


AFM - bump still good but my dad's been in hospital for the last 6 days and poorly for a few weeks before that so been really worried about him.  It's annoying because he's basically been fobbed off by the gp for ages before finally being rushed in last week.  After undergoing X-rays, ct scan, various tests they still don't know what's wrong with him but my sister (who is a nurse) suspects that he has had a mild stroke which has caused all the symptoms he's having now.    Just hoping and praying that he gathers some strength back soon because I'm worrying myself sick that he won't be around to meet this baby.   


Hello to those of you who I haven't done personals for, hope you're all well.   


x x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

NM - sounds very worrying time for you. You look after yourself and bump. There is nothing you can do but hope. I will also have your Dad in my thoughts and hope he gets better.    

Don't know if I have already said about the bottle problem, but a friend of mine worried herself sick about it. Even made breast milk yogurt and custard. Her lo just feeds morning and night and eats in the day and has water only.

When I read all the horrid labour stories, forceps and manual placenta delivery I am glad I had a planned c-section! 

Charley has been on and off hot and has a slight rash, glands up in neck and on and off food, and a little sick. I think it might be an MMR vaccine reaction as it started 9-10 days post jab which is when it might happen. CM took him today, but might not tomorrow if he's still poorly. That will leave my team very short of staff - but if C is not well I can't leave him.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Sounds like the mmr.   hope he's better soon. 
Brest milk yoghurt


----------



## JanaH

Rach - congrats on the birth of you princess   

Hope everyone else is doing well.

AFM: Well ladies our FET worked, have been testing since Sunday and all of them are


----------



## juju81

Whoooooo hoooooooo, they work their magic again    Fab news janah. When is OTD?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Jana H - yippeeeee   - makes me very hopeful for ours - but I hope I don't get carried away and fail - be devastating!

Lots of FETs have worked lately! One on my other thread is expecting ID twins - only a 5% chance of that on a single frozen blast transfer.


----------



## amandaloo

Jana- yayyyyyyyy that's brilliant news )) very chuffed for you x


----------



## teresal

congratulations Jana soo happy for you xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

well done JanaH


----------



## Pootle77

Congratulations Jana and Rach. X.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Well it is 2.30am and I am up with C in the lounge. He has tossed and turned all evening and if I try to leave him he sobs. Got him up to see what the matter is and he is all blotchy and miserable. Given him some paracetamol (most of which is soaked into his sleep suit).
I did take him to the GP this morning about MMR reaction to check there was nothing missed and it is the MMR. He has really suffered. Rash, swollen glands, misery, temperature.

And    childminders. I am sorry, but I am sick of them. I had all but decided to go with 2 days nursery and 2 days CM and then if/when my job is reduced to 3 days then I would stick to one, whichever he likes best.
Less than one week after I saw a childminder who was lovely and would do the hours I need, she has taken on someone else and cancelled me. She said last week I would be the last client, but then a desperate friend rang her/begged.
So it is 4 days in nursery now and C will have to come on train with me every day.


----------



## northernmonkey

Jana - woo hoo, congratulations!  Had a feeling it would be good news for you.  Enjoy the next 8 months!
Holly - poor Charley and poor you!  Both of my girls had mmr reaction exactly 10 days after their jabs - it lasted 3 days so you have my sympathy.    Horrible to watch them suffer but better than the alternative of course.  Gosh you're not having much luck with the childminders, you must be raging.  I'm sure it'll all work out though and once Charley has settled into nursery you'll be glad that things turned out the way they have.


----------



## juju81

Holly that's ****e. Could your DH not help with the ferrying around? Take charley for you some mornings? Hope he feels better


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- bloomin heck can't believe what bad luck your having . At least nursery won't let you down eh .

Question - does anyone know when you have a FET cycle and you have your second scan how long it is from this till your ET? Went for nurse consult yesterday and got a protocol but it dosent really say on it and I'm trying to figure out when I might have ET


----------



## JanaH

Amanda are you having a medicated or natural fet cycle?


----------



## amandaloo

Jana- medicated


----------



## JanaH

On my medicated, we started d/r with Buserelin on day 1 for 2 weeks and had a scan to check the lining and ovaries. If the lining is less then 3mm you start building you lining with progynova to over 8mm which was another 2 weeks (scan). If the lining is thick enough, you start progesterone and transfer is then booked. Mine was day 5 embryos so transfer was exactly 7 days later.  Hope this makes sense...


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - in my FET I was originally down to do medicated, but not down regulated. I was to have a scan on day 2 or 3 and if lining thin start progynova 8mg per day until lining 10mm and then start progesterone (day 0 fr embryos as if the egg collection was on that day) and then whatever day they were frozen on, wake them up on that day and transfer.

BUT - things don't always go to plan and my lining would not go. I went for 3 scans in 5 days and my lining was still 8mm. SO it was abandonded and I was given a bill for £375! 

I then had to go on the pill for a month starting that day, on day 17 of the pill start buserelin injections, wait for a withdrawal bleed after stopping the pill on day 21 - so about 5-6 days after and then go for a scan on day 5-7. I then started progynova as the lining was 3mm and after just one week the lining was about 14mm   

They made me carry on with the tablets for a further 5 days I think as they said the lining needed to mature.  All in my signature.

I started progesterone and as they were day 3 embryos they were transferred on third day.


----------



## amandaloo

Thanks for the info Jana and Holly . Jana your protocol  sounds simular to what I'm going to do
It didn't tell me in protocol how long from scan til ET . Holly they reminded me yesterday that all three may not survive and I'd still have to pay eeekkk saying that I've paid up now ! Anyway trying to think
Positive x


----------



## ceci.bee

janah just popped on for a min and saw your BFP that is wonderful news! am so thrilled for you

amanda good luck hun hoping the same for you

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## Rachfins

Congrats Janah on your bfp. 

Thank you ladies for your congratulations. 

Daisy has been home a week now. We had our best night yet last night, when we worked out that she needed more winding despite what "experts" told us about bf babies. 

Rach x


----------



## ceci.bee

Rach - congratulations on the birth of daisy that is wonderful news    and yeah, ignore anyone who tells you a BF baby doesn't get wind - it is not true! best bit of advice I was given - trust your instincts - so far has stood me v well    enjoy this precious time it goes so fast and is so lovely

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Morning ladies,


Sorry for the me post (and waffly me post) but I'm after some advice. My girls are polar opposites when it comes to food - dd#1 eats anything put in front of her, is happy to try new foods and actually requests broccoli!! Her younger sister however is not so easy and has got me at my wits end.... She has always been quite fussy but over the last couple of weeks has got worse. Everything I serve up now generates an automatic response of 'I don't like .... Fill in the blank with whatever is on the plate....' We try to eat together as a family so always say to her that's fine, don't eat it if you don't want it but you stay at the table until we're all finished. Now to be honest, I wouldn't be too worried if that's where it ended, but she's now starting to chuck complete mentals as soon as she is sat in her seat which ends up with her being sent to her room. I took her to the supermarket this morning and she actually asked for a tuna sandwich so I bought her one thinking great, she chose it herself so she'll eat it. Got home, she asked for an early lunch, climbed up in her seat then went berserk and refused to eat because I held the sandwich packet the wrong way!!!!!! She then requested her bed which I happily granted.... This is all so new to me never having gone through it with dd#1 and I don't know how to handle it. She is teething at the moment which definitely isn't helping so maybe I should just ignore it and see how she is when her teeth come through? I've decided for the next week or so to feed the girls together earlier so dh and I can at least enjoy our meal but do you think that rather than making her sit at the table full stop I give her the choice of 'if you're hungry come and sit down, if not carry on playing with your toys?' I'm probably panicking far too much but I just don't want mealtimes to become a battle. I also don't want to have to start cooking a different meal just for miss stubborn.  Oh and I've never gone down the route of no pudding if you don't eat your main course but heard myself saying that to her last night (after she had been dumped in her cot following table tantrum #1 then given a second chance...) and it did work, she happily ate the little pile of pasta that I showed her had to be eaten. But I thought you weren't supposed to bargain with pudding??!! Aargh, help! Anyone else had similar??


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

She is trying out her independence and control with you. I am not expert as I have not been through it fully, but I had my step son say he did not like things and my nephew is terrible with food. I've also seen cases on supernanny.

With my stepson we used to tell him to try a little bit, but if he did not want it, it did not matter, but we would expect him to try it again in a few weeks. That statement was repeated back to me over cooked apple after about 10 years - hahaha!

My nephew has to have very strict rules about how much he must eat before he can leave the table or face consequences - he is 8 and would not eat at all if not made to.

On supernanny often reward charts work with very visual clues as to how well the child is doing - with something the child likes moving step by step until the top where they get a reward or down a rung if they play up.
In order to have the object move up a rung they have another chart at the dinner table with carbohydrate, protein, fruit and vegetables as the 4 corners and they have to taste one mouthful from each corner to get a sticker, once there are 4 stickers the picture on the main chart goes up a rung. You could have 7, 14 or 21 rungs depending on whether you enforce the rule at every meal (vegetables a bit tricky at breakfast LOL) or just the evening meal or over the course of a day, and at the end of the week they get a reward - like a trip to the park - important it is small in monetary value and not food, but big in meaning to the child.

I have had to take the day off work today again, and it looks like I'll have to take tomorrow off too. Charley had a temperature of 40oC at 4am   He is a very clingy upset little boy. I have taken him to the doctor today and he has a chest infection. Work are going to hate me. I just don't know what to do. The CM has refused to have him. Probably hoping for the week off and still be paid!


----------



## northernmonkey

Poor Charley, has the doc given him antibiotics or is it viral?  Hope he's managing some sleep today, it's such hard work when they are poorly and refuse to be put down all day.    Try not to worry about work, it's out of your control and I'm sure they'll understand that you would be there if you could. Why won't the cm take him - surely it's not contagious?? 


Thanks for your advice re the feeding. Yes she is trying alright! You've reminded me that I need to record some super nanny episodes to get some tips, that lady is fab. I'm big on reward charts and thought about that but dd is just at a funny age at the moment where I don't think she is quite old enough for it to work (there again i didnt think the naughty step would work on her yet but it does.) I have however lined up her favourite pud of banana and custard followed by bath time treat of foam peppa pig soap as motivation (sounds better than bribery   ) for eating her tea today so we'll see how that goes. Good job I'm pregnant otherwise she'd have had me on the vino by lunchtime today...


----------



## teresal

NM -- I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, she is doing a control thing with you, if Meredith refuses her tea and starts being a pain at the table i just put her down and say nothing to her at least then we get to eat in peace, we don't use a pudding as a barganing tool either, shes to young to understand just yet but in saying that she doesn't get anything if she doesn't eat something, i do offer a supper later on if she hasn't eaten well that day cos i know she will wake up hungry through the night if i don't, its usually just toast or cracker and cheese but at least she will have had something. i agree not making something else or you will be doing it all the time and with number 3 on the way thats not what you want. keep the amount on the plate to minimal and you can offer more if she eats it, a full plate might be off putting to her. luckily Meredith isn't to bad with her food at the moment.

Good luck I am sure its just one of her fads and she will come out of it again


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

NM - I spoke to the doctor specifically about my return to work and she told me that C could go to the childminder tomorrow if I was happy his temperature had settled with 24 hours of antibiotics and he was well in himself. He has got a cold, but he got that at the CM's for goodness sake. I had to tell the CM about today as we were not going in and she then independently rang up the doctors surgery (I hope they did not discuss my private child's medical examination!) and came back to me saying about the risk to her daughter and the fact that her daughter has her jabs on Friday and she does not want her infected and the doctor she spoke to said C was infectious! How dare they tell her that! That surely is confidential! And it obviously depends on who you talk to.

I am sick of this CM. Glad we finish with her on Saturday. I like having extra time with C and to be honest I would not leave him in any circumstances today and would feel uncomfortable leaving him tomorrow, but I have a really important meeting on Wednesday and I have to be there. I don't know what I will do if the CM makes more excuses. She is after £200 this week and she won't have done anything for it. And she already had about £65 for work not done last week due to us being at home sick.


----------



## juju81

NM I feel for you. In like Teresa tho, if Noah decides he doesn't want his dinner I get him down. I can't be doing with drama of it. He's not going to waste away and he usually makes up for it the next day. My opinion is back right off. 

Minx has had terrible trouble in the past with DS1. I'm sure she'll come on and tell you


----------



## carrie lou

NM - Zac goes through phases of eating very little (in between phases of eating pretty well!) I have awful memories of being a child and being forced to sit at the table for hours until I'd eaten everything in front of me even when I genuinely wasn't hungry! I really don't want to be like that with Z. So am trying my hardest to keep mealtimes as relaxed as possible with no pressure to eat any more than he wants to. If he is really protesting when I put him in the high chair I get him out again and let him play while we eat. 9 times out of 10 though when he sees me and DH sitting at the table and eating, he will wander over and want to join in! I also don't withhold pudding as bribery, though it is normally fruit or yogurt (vaguely nutritious) so it's not as if he is filling up on junk. I try to make sure there is something in every meal that I know he likes but don't cook something different specially for him, he eats the same as we do (or not as he chooses!  ) Hope this helps. I know he is quite a bit younger than your DD though so I'm sure I don't have all the answers.  


Holly- sorry to hear Charley is ill, hope he gets better soon. Sounds like you will be well rid of this CM


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm I feel your flipping pain    Lucas is EXACTLY the same. I'm on my phone at fat club so will post later. I got advice from the health visitor in the end it had got so bad.  

Laters.........


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Right i'm back   

Basically lucas ate nothing for months apart from cereal. toast. pasta and custard and yoghurts. Thats was it    we got into alot of bad habits. We didn't eat with him, i only gave him what i knew he would eat, i didn't give him any new foods for fear of him refusing it. We thought he was getting too hungry and having tantrums when he was given food so we would give him a custard pot to ease the hunger thinking he would eat his main meal    of course he didn't.    
I would cook different meals for him. If he refused something i would try to give him something else which meant cooking so many different things. 

Anyway it so bad i went to he HV for advice. She said we had to start eating with him, and cook 1 family meal and thats that! If he refuses, just say, thats ok. Don;t tell him to eat (which is really hard!!) If he refuses to eat all together then he goes to bed hungry. She said if he was that hungry then he would eat. At this age they are more than capeable in going through the night if not eaten. (hes never woken up in the night hungry)
Give lots of praise when he has eaten, clap hands etc. Put small amounts on the plate. (tomato ketchup is a grest insentive!!) 
I use stickers now, he gets a sticker if he eats some of his dinner, a star if he eats all of it. If he mentions pudding and he hasn;t hardly eaten anything then say no, not until he has eaten 2 or 3 spoons of tea. 

If hes being really terrible at the table, (throwing plates, getting down constantly, tantrums, etc etc    ) then i take him for a bath. More often than not he then decides after his bath he wants his tea, He did it last night    He ate the lot    

He has got better since we came down hard on him. But he is still a fussy eater. and i still get really anxious around tea time    I actually hate tea time    But now samuel is startung to eat food (BLW) i think he will look at the baby and see he is eating so many things that lucas isn't and will (hopefully) eat better. 

The main thing is to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. I wouldn't let her have pudding unless shes eaten or a fair amount of food otherwise she will eat less and less of main meal and only eat pudding., Try stickers, let her choose some, lucas loves choosing which sticker. 

I thought i was the only one with this problem  but its all normal.


----------



## JanaH

Morning ladies,

I'm driving myself insane... I tested again this morning with a CB digital and it came up NOT PREGNANT, I should be 5 weeks tomorrow. I've been booked in to go and see the consultant this afternoon for a scan. 

Will update after my appointment


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Oh hun   best of luck chick


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Jana - I hope it is a faulty test.


----------



## carrie lou

Oh no Jana  Good luck for the scan, let us know how you get on


----------



## teresal

Good luck Jana 

seen this today, as if we don't have enough to worry about as it is

http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/danish-sperm-donor-passes-genetic-disorder-five-children-201504202.html

haven't had a chance to look into it to much yet, but first thoughts where "oh great, how many others have got through the net"

xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Only the genetic conditions they test for are picked up - cysitic fibrosis, taysachs, sickle cell etc.

This is why the 10 family rule is so important. 

It is not really any different to meeting and having children with a man that results in a genetic disorder. It is down to luck.


----------



## carrie lou

I suppose they can't test for everything can they?  Very sad for those families though


----------



## Pootle77

Ooh, our donor is Danish!  Fingers crossed not this one though, can't remember the date he first donated, think it's some time ago.


Jana, hope everything is ok this afternoon.


NM, sorry you're having a hard time with DD2, what Mini says seems like sound advice to me.  And, like Carrie, if our DS doesn't want to come to the table we get on without him and he soon comes over, DH is all for making him sit in his chair because it's tea time and that's that but I can't stand the screaming!  I get a bit paranoid about food as I've had an ED in the past and don't want DS to go through that hell, not that mine came from food habits as a child but I still worry!!!!


Holly, hope Charley is feeling better today.


AFM, had consultant app yesterday and we're getting an extra Doppler scan at 23 weeks and take it from there.  First MW said I don't need to see them until 28 and 32 weeks seeing as this is a second pregnancy but the other one wants to see me more often.  I'll go with that as the problem with DS was picked up at 30 weeks I'm not taking any risks, we were so close to losing him.


----------



## JanaH

Well we had a scan yesterday and bloods done. The scan showed hardly anything and bloods came back this morning as less then 1. So it is all over for us. I have to stop all my meds and wait for my progesterone levels to fall and start AF. I'm not looking forward to it, as it will be heavy.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh darling that is horrible.     

I don't know what is worse a chemical pregnancy or a BFN.   It is all bloody dismal.

Do you have a plan B.

My friend has just told me she's unexpectedly pregnant again - I am pleased for her as she has PCOS and endo and struggled to have her dd who is 5 days older than C, but if my fet does not work it is going to be hard bump watching.

I am still off work - the CM now says she has a sickness bug.
Work are going to hate me.


----------



## Pootle77

Jana -   so, so sorry.  Thinking of you. Xxx.


----------



## carrie lou

So sorry Jana  It's just not fair is it. Thinking of you


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Aww janah what a cruel trick nature has done. Look after yourself


----------



## juju81

Janah I'm so sorry hun, take it easy my lovely


----------



## ceci.bee

Janah hun huge          so sorry

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## amandaloo

Jana- Im so sorry, its just not fair   huge hugs


----------



## Lindz

Janah- so so sorry  . Hope you are doing as well as you can be. 
Lindz 
X


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## Ella*

Haven't been on here for a long time but came on today & wanted to say 'Hi' here 
x


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## Ella*

Janah, sorry


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## Ella*




----------



## teresal

jana


----------



## JanaH

Feeling sad today, it would've been our 6 week scan today. Bleeding started on Saturday, it was so painful. Fainted on Sunday and was throwing up so much. I've taken the week off sick.


Hope everyone else is doing well.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Jana


----------



## amandaloo

Jana-


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## carrie lou

Jana that sounds horrible hun. So sorry. Hope you are taking care of yourself


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## amandaloo

Carrie- your now a mod  just noticed


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## JanaH

Thank you... My sister just send me a bb msg with a positive pregnancy test, she is pregnant. OMW life is so unfair.


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## amandaloo

Jana- oh no that's such bad timing :'-( really feel for you Lots of cyber hugs going your way xxx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Aww hun  

Re the pain and fainting. That's exactly how I was with one of mine. It was awful. I ended up in a&e   I hope u got lots of pain killers. Sending u big hugs


----------



## spooks

jana, so very sorry to read of your loss   , thinking of you, such a difficult situation with your sister too


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh no - it is so unfair. Did she know you were having a miscarriage. I assume not otherwise that would be really insensitive.


----------



## Lindz

Jana- so so sorry. Hope you are feeling a little better this morning


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## ceci.bee

Janah huge          and huge      to your sister as well - does she know what you are going through?? OMG sometimes people are so insensitive!!! I am totally gutted for you and sending masses of huge                      

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## LittleFriend

Hi, I've not posted on here before and apologies as I haven't read back and jntroduced myself properly. 

DH suggested I come on here to talk to you guys since we came home with our beautiful son one week ago. We went straight for donor eggs due to a genetic condition that I didn't want to pass down to our children. We went through genetic counselling before going go out fertility clinic. It was a planned pregnancy, from start to finish we spent 3.5 years going to see doctors, counsellors, having treatment etc to delivering out gorgeous son last week. The decision we made was the right one as we have a beautiful boy and the illness that I have, my mum has and my grandma has is now gone from our family for good. The decision for DE was the most long drawn out, well considered decision that was right for DH and I 

I had a rely traumatic long induction and labour which ended up in theatre. As a result I don't really have good memories of giving birth to him and although I know I technically pushed him out I don't really know that I gave birth to him, if that makes sense. 

Since we came home I know I love him but also feel some sort if detachment from him. I'd convinced myself that he would come out looking like his daddy and he doesn't look like him which freaks me out at times. If he doesn't look like me and he doesn't look like DH then it confuses me. I also watch DH bond with him straight away and talk to him and work out what soothes him, whereas all I can do is offer a breast which is obvious and not sign of a special bond. 

I know it's 7 days since I delivers him and my hormones are a mess but I just wanted to share with you and for you to tell me I'm not going mad and its going to get better. I keep saying to DH that I know he is my son and I love him but I just can't help feeling strange and detached.


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## amandaloo

Littlefriend- congratulations on the birth of your precious son .. I had a simular experience with an induction epidural then theatre for forsceps and I remember feeling like I hadn't pushed him out then there he was on my chest was an odd feeling . I had attempted for well over an hour to push him out . I also felt like it took
Me a little while to bond I didn't instantly feel it straight away if anything that first week I just felt a bit shell shocked, I wasn't very well which didn't help matters and was in hospital for few days after birth. After a while the bonding just kicked in. And babies change so much in their appearance my DS didn't look anything like me and now I think he does . Hope all that helps . Your emotions and hormones are all over the place plus you've been through so much to have your DS. I remember feeling guilty that cause I'd been through so much I hadn't instantly bonded if that makes sense . X


----------



## juju81

Littlefriend, aww Hun, it's true your hormones will be all over the place. I too had a horrendous labour, prepped for a c-section, failed ventouse then forceps delivery, kept in hospital for 5 days.....I didnt bond with my little boy for months. I even sat there a few days after coming home in tears wanting my 'old' life back  

It will get better, I can't tell you how long though, mine took months in all honesty and I do wish I'd seeked help from the doctor. Just make sure your both supporting each other and take each day at a time......it will get better/easier I promise


----------



## amandaloo

Littlefriend- I was going to add don't know why I didn't to speak to your h/v if you start to  feel low. I didn't get pnd but I know some ladies on here did . Just wanted to reassure you that I had them feelings and didn't have/get pnd xx


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## northernmonkey

Hi ladies,

Sorry I haven't posted earlier to thank you all for the advice re dd not eating. I went up north to see my dad in hospital (he finally came home at the weekend after almost 4 weeks in hospital thank goodness) and have had more family dramas which I won't even start on...

Anyway thanks so much, all your advice really helped. Mini your account of mealtimes sounds so similar to ours and like you I was dreading meal times. But.... (touch wood) we've started what you suggested and things have improved massively. Stickers, high fives, cheers etc definitely help and she doesn't get pud (or Peppa foam soap in the bath is another good incentive) if she doesn't make a decent attempt at the main course. I've also got a fruit and veg magnetic chart that she uses and loves - fruit has never been a problem but she's only started to try veg thanks to the chart. Hopefully the novelty won't wear off...

Jana -  I'm so sorry, hope you're feeling a little better physically at least. What awful timing with your sister too - the last thing you need is trying to sound happy for someone else.

Little friend - hello and congratulations on the birth of your little boy. I don't think what you're feeling is at all unusual, it certainly rings bells with me when I had dd#1 and I didn't have a particularly traumatic birth experience. As you say your hormones are still everywhere at the minute so try not to over analyse your feelings too much (coming from someone who does exactly that  ) The bond will kick in but it can take time - do speak to your hv if your anxiety gets worse though, the first few weeks go by so quickly it would be a shame not to enjoy them as much as you could.   Let us know how you get on.

Holly - how is Charley? Hope he's better now. What's the situation with the childminder? Have you decided when to go for your fet?

Juju - any decisions on your next tx timing wise?

Hi to everyone else, hope you're all ok.

NM
x


----------



## carrie lou

Argh, I just wrote a long post then lost it all! Hate when that happens  


Anyway. What I wanted to say to LittleFriend is hello, welcome and congratulations on your new baby! It is such early days for you. Just try to take it one day at a time and and not expect too much of yourself. The first few weeks for me are a blur of sleep deprivation, crazy hormones and enormous leaky boobs! I know that not everyone feels that bond immediately, even those who haven't used donor eggs, it doesn't make you any less of a good mother. I think those of us who have struggled to have children and finally achieved our dream, can feel under pressure to feel happy 100% of the time - which obviously isn't realistic at all. So don't be hard on yourself. And don't worry about who baby looks like. When my DS was born, everyone who saw him commented on how much he looked like DH (we used donor sperm so that's not possible  ) but now at 16 months he is the spitting image of me. Which goes to show that children can take a while to grow into their looks. The most important thing by far, as you point out, is that your little one is healthy. I'm sure you will feel better soon but if not, please do ask for help.    


Jana - awful timing on your sister's part  I hope you are OK    


Amanda - yes I'm a mod now


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

NM - so glad things are better at meal times. Lucas is still pretty terrible but hey ho!!! Where did you get the magnetic board from?

Little friend - congrats on your baby    You've probably got the baby blues plus having a baby is a totally life changing event. Even though you've planned him for yrs its still a shock to have responsiblity for him. You can't just hop out of bed and go to the shops anymore liek you used to!

re: looking like DH, my eldest son is from Donor sperm so obviously doesn't look like DH. he used to look like me, but doesn't now    so he ovbviously looks like his donor (who must be drop dead gorgeous    ) anyway it used to bother me that he looks like no one, but now it doesn't matter. Then i became pg naturally,    the baby looks like me but i can't see DH in him at all.    other people can though. Babys change daily and in time you will see DH in him. give yourself a few weeks and if you are still feeling detached then go to your GP. You could have PND. I have it and am on anti depressants. No shame in that, its all normal


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Little Friend hun - sorry for the delay in reply. I read your post the other day and I thought I had responded but I must have been distracted.

Sometimes the bond with your baby can take many weeks to form even in pregnancies where there was no complications of the genes used. Your hormones are all over the place and a traumatic birth can be very upsetting. Sometimes people get a sort of post traumatic stress. The midwives at your hospital should offer a debriefing or counselling service and I know one lady on another thread who's pelvic floor was badly damaged and she was struggling mentally was immensely helped by a debrief session where she could talk about it and get some reassurance and answers.
Bonding issues are really not uncommon after a traumatic birth. A colleague of mine dreamed of giving birth on a midwife run unit under candle light in a bath and the reality was far from that. Her baby's head was 95th centile and she was rushed to theatre for a forceps delivery. She told me that she sat on the ward afterwards looking up and down the ward unable to even pick her baby up looking at everyone else cooing over their new borns and she was thinking ''nothing was worth that''. It took her 2 weeks to feel any sort of maternal instinct and it scared her about having another. Of course she adores her son now. She has had another since and it was all fine.
I think many people think that they will instantly bond and it does not always happen immediately. Of course you are going to put it down to the donor issue, but I think it happens in many scenarios.
My LO looks like my Dad and people says he looks like me. We have donor sperm and I don't know which parts come from the donor. But it does not matter. C looks like C and he is unique and individual and we are privileged to be his parents.
Think of parents who adopt. It must take months to bond and get to know the child. You have the rest of the child's life ahead of you and a couple of weeks at the begining will seem like a drop in the ocean in the end. Once they start smiling and giggling and talking and all the other wonderful things that you have given them the ability to do by carrying them to full term you will be so excited that you made them!

Of course offering them the breast is a really special bond. Look into his eyes as you are feeding and sing to him, stroke his hair and feel that oxytocin wash over you. Oxytocin is the love hormone and you will start to feel it when he starts to suckle.

Come back here and chat whenever you want and do talk to your midwife or healthvisitor.


----------



## juju81

Nm, like holly I thought I'd responded too  

Glad ur dads on the mend   also fab news the meal times are improving. Good idea about the magnetic board, we've got one, might think about it for potty training! What's your due date? I can't see whilst replying! I was hoping to start tx jan but I'm not sure all the paperwork/go ahead from HfeA will be through in time. I'm so angry and p'd off about it  

Holly, I think I suffered from post traumatic stress. The mw and Hv were quite concerned about me. I fobbed them off as being ok but I wish I'd listened to nick and them really! I know for next time tho 

Minx, I can't see knock off in ds2. He is an image of you❤

I'm in the process of moving. My house looks the pits. Moving next Saturday. Flipping hate moving!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

juju81 said:


> Minx, I can't see knock off in ds2. He is an image of you❤


    

where did you get that ❤ from?


----------



## juju81

Your obsessed with my bloody hearts


----------



## northernmonkey

Juju/mini - I bought the magnetic board from the Internet a few years ago. Can't remember the website now but it's by a company called Fiesta Crafts and is from a range called doo well magnetic games. Yes feeding is a bit better but now she's starting to mess around and take forever to eat which is as frustrating as not eating at all!!!! I can see the naughty step coming into play along with all the other tactics.... 


Ju- due date anywhere between 14th and 20th December but I make it 17th from iui date which means I'm 31 weeks tomorrow    I've done a load of Christmas pressie shopping online tonight cos I want everything sorted by the time I'm 35 weeks.  What a bugger that you have to wait for the hfea after the bridge dragged their heels for so long.   Can't you start getting your blood tests etc done in the meantime so that when the paperwork is all done you can get straight into a cycle? 


Jana - thinking of you.


----------



## juju81

Crumbs that's gone really quick. What an exciting Christmas for you all though 

I would have all my bloods done but the bridge are paying for it all and still haven't sorted out the logistics of that. I mean how hard is it for them to say "send us the invoices" or "get your doc/clinic to invoice us directly" it's starting to stress me out because I wanted them done this month but doesn't look likely now


----------



## northernmonkey

Hmmm I don't think Bridge's accounts dept are particularly on the ball. I've just received a bill from them stamped final demand for cost of transferring our sibling sperm to Complete back in January.  I'm sure I cleared it all at the time but can't find the damn paperwork.  Could you afford to pay for the tests upfront if bridge agreed to refund you? Problem is the tests aren't cheap are they especially coming up to Christmas and with your house move.  Good luck with that by the way, what's your new place like?


----------



## iarfach

Hi Guys,

Sorry to jump onto your thread - I've got a question about flu and whooping cough jabs and impact of donor egg. Though you were the best bunch to try and help me.

Went for the jabs today - when asked about whether I had any allergies, especially eggs, I said that I didn't but couldn't answer the egg donor. We didn't know how donor's status would impact on risk of having the jab, so nurse is now phoning round trying to find out but struggling. Just wondered if anyone on here has already had this discussion and knows the answer. I'd be grateful of any information you have.

Many thanks and happy pregnancy wishes to all on here xx


----------



## carrie lou

Hi iarfach   I've not heard of this particular situation before but my thinking is that it won't matter if the egg donor was allergic to eggs as it's your body that the jabs are being put into, and therefore your body, not the baby's, that would make the allergic reaction (or not) - does this make sense? So there shouldn't be any risk. Like I said I don't know the answer for sure, but that's my reasoning. Hope you can get it clarified


----------



## iarfach

Thanks Carrie Lou,

The nurse managed to speak to the consultant dealing with the vaccine roll out and she pretty much confirmed the same thing - so I went ahead and had both this afternoon.

Thanks so much x


----------



## carrie lou

Glad you got it sorted hun


----------



## hakunamatata

hey girls sorry ive been awol, i still read and love hearing about all. good luck with move ju. nm pg seems to be flying, hope you feeling ok with all the extra stress xx
unfort ive been suffering with anxiety and depression and since this week am now on seroxat anti d, only 10mg so far and ok to breast feed. they say i will feel worse before it gets better, hopefully soon. dont want to make this all about me, tho must say addi is 8 months and gorgeous xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## carrie lou

Hakuna    sorry to hear that hun but sure you will feel better soon. It is hard with a little one isn't it. Glad to hear Addi is doing well


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hak same thing happened to me hun.   you should feel better soon.  This time my anxiety hasn't gone away. I am sleeping better but I still have that awful anxious feeling over rubbish things


----------



## amandaloo

Hakuna- sorry to hear you haven't been well . Hope you start feeling better soon x


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## sweetdreams73

hakuna - ahh so very sorry to hear that hun, sending huge amounts of hugs        and lots of love your way..hope you feel better really soon     , lol   xxxx

hope everyone else is all good and lots of     to you all, sorry i dont get to post just got my hands full with M & D they are starting to try and walk now, just a couple steps so far on their own!! but wanting me to hold their hands while they walk around the house, one goes one way one goes the other my arms are getting very stretched!! ha ha!! lol xxxx


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## ceci.bee

Hakuna hun               am so sorry you are feeling depressed. I hope the new drugs help you feel better soon and am pleased you are being looked after. How is DH? I hope he is supportive and  agree Addi is totally gorgeous - love the ** pics of her   

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Hak - sorry to hear you've been suffering from depression. Good to hear you're getting treatment though, hope the tablets start helping soon. 

SD - the boys are obviously doing well, do you find that one of them tries these things (crawling, walking etc) and the other one copies or do they set their own pace?

Hope everyone is well, I've got dd#1 on half term now and am really looking forward to spending some time with her as I feel like I hardly see her when she's at school. When she goes back to school she has 6 weeks then it's Christmas and I can't believe that the baby might have arrived by then! I'm so unbelievably organised for Christmas, got most of the pressies bought and am ordering our Christmas food this weekend then just need to sort out my hospital bag, although I haven't decided whether to have another home birth yet... Also need to try to decide on a girls name as I have a feeling we're going to make it a hat trick... Got loads of names that we like but they're all really popular and dd#1 is one of 3 girls in her class who have the same name, so gets called by her full name which really annoys me! So I'm trying to avoid that again! 

Right, best go. Dd has a swimming lesson soon so need to get going. 

xx


----------



## carrie lou

NM - wow you are organised! Only 8 weeks to go, how exciting. I come from a long line of "2 girls then a boy" families so you never know...  


Hak - hope you are starting to feel better  


Very quiet on here lately - hope everyone is OK  


Ladies I've been meaning to ask some advice re. children's shoes - so far we've been sticking to Clarks but £32 seems kinda expensive for something he's going to grow out of in a couple of months - so was wondering if anyone knows of a good place to buy shoes that's a little cheaper but still reasonable quality? Am thinking of getting Clarks' foot measuring thingy so we can measure his feet at home and possibly buy on the internet.


----------



## Lindz

Hiya everyone
Hak, hope you're feeling better


SD- glad your boys are doing so well. Know what you mean about bring pulled in 2 directions. I'm afraid we still have that a bit now especially at the park when one wants swing and one wants slide   


Ju-any news from the Bridge on getting started?


NM- enjoy half term, 2 girls and surprise boy in my family too. You never know!  I'm annoyed that DS's name wasn't that common and then just seems to have had a boost, boo. I had avoided top ten names for that reason. 


Carrie- yep, can't be spending almost £70 every couple of months here either but I do love Clarks and feel safe knowing they should be comfy and fit well. We either get them measured in store and then sneak off to eBay or go to the factory shop where they're about £18 which is a bit better and have a pretty good choice. 


Better go, snotty babies wanting attention! Xx


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## amandaloo

Carrie - I bought some from Clarks factory shop bit cheaper X

Hi everyone


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## hakunamatata

hi girls thanks for your empathy and caring. im starting to feel a lot better the last few days lets hope its here to stay. mini thanks for sharing your own circs, makes me feel im not alone. we still need to sort addi's sleeping as its killing us dh is great with me and her but there's only so much he can take hey. she sleeps fine on our chest but the cot is a different story.

jen i can only imagine what fun youre having. x this is my worst fear of attempting baby number two, tho who knows at the moment whether its a good idea generally.

nm wow youre wonder woman i think youre amazing, go girl.

addi no longer wants my purees so need to get some more baby led weaning recipes. im going to try cheese and spinich muffins, something she can also eat when we're out. she loves dairylea sarnies but man does she make a mess lol
hope youre all well. keep posting girls xx
shoes wow a whole new chapter. addi is standing and gets quite brave and sometime takes hands off and leans to me so watch this space.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

hak - a couple of mummy knows best nights will sort her out. You must sort her sleep out or else you'll go bang! This is what started my anxiety off,


----------



## carrie lou

Hak - I feel your pain, Z has also never slept well. When he does have a good night DH thinks he must be coming down with something!  I firmly believe children's sleep will get better eventually even if you do nothing (Z's is slowly improving and I haven't done any "sleep training" as such) but as Mini says, if it is getting you down and you're resenting it, than that is the time to do something about it! Glad you are starting to feel better  


Thanks ladies for the tips re. shoes - factory shop is a great idea that I hadn't thought of. Think there is one quite near us so next time he needs shoes that's where we'll go


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## northernmonkey

Hak - ha ha it makes me laugh that I've given the impression of being Wonder Woman. I'm one of these who thinks everyone else is more efficient at everything than me.  If you saw the state of my house you would certainly change your description of me    Re Addi's sleep, I agree with both Carrie and Mini's comments. I could never bare the thought of controlled crying then exceeded my level of sleep deprivation.... At that point I realised that I just couldn't function and was becoming a total wreck.  CC isn't easy to do in that you really have to be determined but it does work, if you decide to go for it it you will get results in just a few nights.  I had dd#1 sleeping through by night 3 and she has been a brilliant sleeper ever since.  DD#2 was a thirsty baby and for ages after doing cc she would wake nightly for a drink, but the difference was she would have a drink and go straight back to sleep instead of me having to pace the floor cuddling her for ages. Mini has great tips if you do go for it.   


Jana - not sure if you're reading but thinking of you.


----------



## ceci.bee

Hakuna agree sleep deprivation is never good for anyone's mood, especially if you are already low. I read a great article written by a woman who was daignosed and treated for PND when actually she had severe sleep deprivation and anxiety about her baby, which got much better when she managed to sort out hers and the baby's sleep. We did dream feeding and even now carb load Joshi before he goes to bed to help him go through. She is also I am sure picking up your mood which is natural and normal, but is probably not helping her to sleep either. DH got good and putting J down as he is much more strict with him than me and found the CC easier to do. JOshi was up last night coughing, he had a drink of water and panadol then cried when he went down, but only for 2 mins and was off to sleep again. It does get easier I promise.
lots of love
Ceci


----------



## JanaH

Thanks NM

I'm reading but haven't had much time to post. I'm currently in South Africa, my dad had a stroke 3 weeks ago. I've been trying to sort out the house and organising carers etc. I'm flying back on Thursday will be sad to leave them. He got discharged from hospital yesterday.

Hak - hope you feel better soon hun, it's not nice feel down. (been there)  

Hope everyone else is doing well


----------



## northernmonkey

Oh my goodness Jana, you poor thing.    How is your dad now?  I can't imagine how hard it must be to be so far away - my parents are 300 miles away and that seems a long way but is nothing compared to you. Is your sister in the uk too?  Have a safe trip back and try to take it easy when you're home, you've certainly been through it lately.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

So sorry Jana. I can't imagine being on the other side of the world. I am an hour away and that's too far.


----------



## ceci.bee

Janah hun really feel for you sweetie. I am sure they have really appreciated you being around, and it is so tough living apart from family. My dad has been really unwell this year, and coming and going from Africa to support them has been expensive and tough, but much harder being apart from them on a daily basis.            hope he gets some rehab and picks up a bit - it is  a really slow process.

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## juju81

Hi girls,
]I find out on the 14th if we can use Noah's donor    I got my AMH levels back tho Saturday and they are really low. They are 3.80 which means my eggs are running out :-( my clinic say anything under 10 and they recommend IVF but because of my success with IUI they will let me have a couple of goes before IVF. I won't do IVF. We'll just stop. We don't have the money for it and I'm not strong enough to do it!!! I'm more than happy with Noah. Lets hope tho my run of tx success continues tho


----------



## Pootle77

Fingers crossed they let you use Noah's donor.  I had low AMH this time round, 2.something, and they let me do IUI and it worked first time, whereas the previous go 2 and a half years before took 4 tries, so in my case not sure AMH was that important!!  Hope your good luck continues


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Ju    Fingers crossed for you. I can't believe your eggs are running out at only 31! Don't think AMH tells the whole story althoughI I don't know that much about it really. Hopefully you will be lucky again    


Jana - so sorry about your dad, must be so hard being so far away from him     


Hak - how are things going?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

See told u ju   it's not an accurate test. Don't think my clinic ever did it.


----------



## juju81

It's a new test. They've only been doing it for just over a year. They read it together with your fsh result. If ur fsh is high and AMH low, there is a bit of a problem. I'm nt out of eggs but basically means I have to get on with it!

It's just upset me that it is so low at my age


----------



## carrie lou

my clinic never tested it either - for all I know mine might be low as well. Ju don't worry about it - you conceived first time last time round, you could well do the same again


----------



## ceci.bee

Hi Ju - I had a low AMH and a normal FSH and they dosed my up for my first ICSI because of it, and if we had gone ahead with the transfer I would have had OHSS as my E2 levels went through the roof - it is really only part of the story and your age, health and conception history are much more important! am               you can use Noah's donor and you have the same luck this time around                 

lots of love
Ceci


----------



## abcdefgh

I also had a very low AMH result for my age but I'm also a bit dubious as to the significance of this test. I was really upset when I got told I had low fertility and googled and googled but from what I found, it doesn't necessarily have much bearing on the outcome of treatment in younger women. Do you know why your clinic recommend IVF for people with an AMH under 10? I was told that it only tells you about quantity not quality of eggs and, unlike some clinics it seems, my clinic said that it has no bearing on the success of IUI (as you only need to be ovulating regularly at the time of treatment - it doesn't matter if the overall number of eggs you have is a bit low for your age) but with IVF it does have some effect as they would expect a lower number of eggs to be produced. However, there seem to be plenty of cases like Ceci's where that doesn't happen anyway so it really can't be that reliable a guide! 

Good luck with your treatment!

Hi to everyone else. xx


----------



## Pootle77

The reason I had mine tested was because I wanted to egg share and thy said it was too low to egg share as I wouldn't make enough eggs but no reason IUI wouldn't work as like abc says it's the quality not the quantity that matters for IUI.  Try not to get too down hearted about it, easier said than done, I know.  We spent £125 on the test to be told AMH was low and I was thinking that's it, it's all over, but there's most definately a very big bump on me at the moment    so AMH isn't the be all and end all.


----------



## Lindz

Hi everyone
Really hope they aren't ridiculous and they let you use Noah's donor Ju. I can't remember what my AMH was but remember being upset enough to cry about it and decided to only try 2 IUIs before IVF but didn't come to that! Sure with your age and you're track record you'll have no probs. By the way, they let me have at trigger shot as I was panicking about ovulation. You didn't need it last time and won't need it this time but saw your post saying your clinic don't offer it and they do (or did) so you know just in case. 


Can I ask some advice? This should probably go on one of the telling threads but I don't know which   
We always said we would tell about donor but through treatment only my Mum and Sis knew. DH's Mum was very ill and concerned about medical treatments she'd pushed for in the past (stronger than doctors advised) and if she'd done the right thing. DH never blamed her and thought she'd done the right thing but if she was going to die soon he didn't want her to know be upset or feel guilty for"causing" his infertility. Anyway, she made miraculous recovery and is still with us but now we're a bit stuck. DH has actively lied to his Mum and family, I've omitted he truth or lied to most of my family and friends and I think now DH doesn't want to tell at all. When I ask him about it he just jokes and says he spoke to twins about it ages ago so it's done    Urgh, I know the babies come first and it's our fault we've got into this situation so we'll just have to come clean but hate to upset everyone especially DH and his Mum and feel like the rubbish way we've handled things now makes it look like we're ashamed or like its a big deal which, honestly it never has been for us as always something we knew about and accepted. 


Sorry for essay and me post. Better go and find monsters something for lunch, they'll be up soon. 
X


----------



## ceci.bee

Hey Lindz

Just wrote you a long reply then the internet crashed here and lost it so annoying! I don't envy you your situation but think probably everyoen will be cool and understanding about it, when you explain why you have not told them up to now.
Can you organise a family dinner or something so you can talk to everyone concerned together? then they will all (hopefully) be a bit more restrained if they have anxieties to express and you can say the same thing to everyone so they all get the same message? Esp if you make it clear that you were protecting MIL when she was ill but now have to tell the girls so the family needs to know.

good luck hun
llots of love
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Just a quickie as I've got to wake dd up for the school run and it'll take me 20 minutes to bring her out of the foul mood she will wake up in.... 


Juju- I didn't realise that you couldn't definitely use the same donor, I thought they'd given permission and it was just the funding you were waiting for.     that it's good news for you. Hope the other ladies have put your mind at ease a little about the Amh too.  Lots of clinics don't seem to even test for it - I know Bridge didn't.  I had it done at complete but as Ceci said the dr just used the result in conjunction with my fsh level as an indication of what drugs to start me on. 


Lindz -    don't beat yourself up about the telling.  Telling seems such an easy thing to do when it's years away then becomes much harder the closer it gets.  To be honest I would just concentrate on your mil for now - the only people we have told are parents and siblings, none of our friends know and I have no intention of telling them as I don't think it's their business so you have nothing to feel guilty about there.  And as for your mil, as you say she was seriously ill so it was entirely understandable that you wouldn't want to give her any more to worry about at that time.  If you do decide to talk to her I would just explain that and reassure her that there is no blame and no regret - after all who on this thread could say they would change anything about the children we have. Sorry for a bit of a rushed response to what must be giving you a lot of anxiety but I didn't want to say nothing!   


Right better go and wake devil child and hope she doesn't smell the choccie on my breath that I've just stolen from her trick or treat pile....


----------



## carrie lou

Lindz that sounds like a really tricky situation    I think you just have to come clean to those closest to you. We have only told our parents, siblings and one very good friend (we've known each other since we were 14 so are very close). Like NM I don't feel it's something that everyone needs to know. When Z is old enough he can decide for himself who else he wants to tell. When I told my family DH was infertile and we were going to use donor sperm, it was probably the hardest and saddest conversation I'd ever had to have - but they all just took it totally in their stride and were absolutely OK about it. I'm sure your families will be the same and you have the added advantage that your children are already in the picture, your rellies will all have got to know them and love them and will realise that the way they were conceived doesn't alter this. I think they will understand if you explain your reasons for not telling them before. Good luck honey


----------



## Lindz

Thanks so much for your replies ladies. I just regret getting us into this situation. I guess, like  MM said, it all just seemed so far away and hypothetical at the time that we just thought we'd worry about it later. 

Ceci- I agree that the family meal sounds like a sensible idea but tbh the though fills me with total dread. I just can't even imagine how any of these conversations are going to go. We just don't have those types of conversations. I actually think DH would faint at the thought of it!! 

I guess the first thing I have to do is make sure DH and I are on the same page on whether we're telling or not. Might try and speak to him again and see if he'll come to a DCN meeting with me. I feel awful pushing him on this. He's just hurried his head in the sand and I think now has decided they are his (which of course they are) so lets just put the whole thing behind us. I can see the temptation and I'm not going to go through all the for and against telling arguments here. It just worries me. 

NM- yes, after I've tackled DH we'll have to talk to his Mum. There's going to be so many issues and tears there but I think she'll be ok with it long term. On telling friends, agree its none of their business but have a few friends who I've known for years and years who spend time with me and the babies so worried about what they'll say when I've lied to them for years and then DD or DS say something to them or they find a 'my story' book or something. Can I ask if your oldest has ever said anything to anyone outside immediate family?

Carrie- I'm sure you're right and no one will care as much as I think they will. I don't know it it makes it easier or harder that DS/DD are already here. Can't seem to get past the thought that people will think we've "tricked" them

Thanks again so much for your replies, makes me feel better that you all understand and don't think we did something awful. X


----------



## northernmonkey

Lindz - DCN meeting sounds like a great idea - whatever you and dh decide after that at least you would know that you'd thought it all through fully. Don't think of it as pushing him, you just both have to be 100% happy with the decision you make. No, dd hasn't talked about being a donor baby to anyone (not that I know of anyway!) She loves reading 'my story' but I don't think she really gets it!  She did ask me if she could take the book into school for show and tell though!! I know it's only a matter of time before she does mention it in public, I just wonder who it will be to.... As for friends, I know what you mean but again you don't need to feel guilty.  I've no doubt that mine will find out through dd in time to come, and although they'll be surprised I don't expect any to be upset that I didn't tell them. I'll just explain that dh and I agreed that it was dd's info and we were leaving it to her to decide who to tell.  Do you have the talking and telling booklet from the DCN? I got that one recently and found it really helpful.  


Right better go to bed, got to get up at 6am...


----------



## Lindz

Thanks NM. It's really good to hear from people who are a bit ahead of us and how their little ones have reacted. Had a chat to DH last night and, as I predicted, he's changed his mind and doesn't want to tell. Think we might have a bit of a problem. Not really the sort o disagreement you can compromise on! He says he'll think about going to a DCN meeting but he really doesn't want to and he's worried it'll be one sided. Oh dear.... Xx


----------



## olivia m

Hi Lindz
I've been following the posts about your 'telling' dilemma with interest.  You've had some really good advice and support from others.  Of course you and your DH would be hugely welcome at a DCN meeting (I assume you are members - do join if not).  Whilst you would be unlikely to come across anyone there who had definitely made up their mind not to tell - as one of DCNs reasons for existing is to support and encourage openness - there are always plenty of people for whom it feels like a very big deal.  And very often there are those, like you,who for one good reason or another felt they couldn't be open from the start and then feel as if the boat has sailed without them.  Very easy to think that not telling at all would be the best (the easiest?) route after that.  But as you will know, all the good things about telling still apply.  
No-one at a DCN meeting is going to judge your DH for having anxieties and second thoughts but as all the arguments for not telling tend to be negative and the openness ones positive, he is likely to get a lot of support to take courage in his hands and just start telling.  That's the scary part.  The rest is easy and such a relief!
Olivia


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies 

Sorry to change the subject  . Just had a FET cycle   I'm afraid   . Sorry I didn't mention it on here I wanted to try a cycle without any pressure of telling anyone hope that makes sense.. Was really naughty and tested early so had a few days to get used to it . Going to clinic today to have it confirmed but it's a def BFN just tested again this Morn . We will try again in new year sometime . Think I've been doomed this cycle had a bad d and v bug a few days before ET and on day of ET woke up with temp sore throat and swollen glands. The nurse said it wouldn't make any difference? My emmbie defrosted 100 didn't loose any cells at all which they said unusual and it was very good . Got two more frosties left which they will defrost two next time and I'll have then both put back .   bfn are so depressing x


----------



## carrie lou

So sorry to hear that Amanda  Sounds like you have some good embies there though, fingers crossed in the new year you will have better luck. Take care


----------



## ceci.bee

Gutted for you hun


----------



## northernmonkey

So sorry Amanda.     Take care. x


----------



## juju81

Awww so sorry Amanda, it sucks. No worries about not telling. I dot think minx did either xxx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Boo Amanda. That is horrid. Better luck next time. Lots of love and hugs in the mean time.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Sorry to hear that Amanda  

No I didn't tell anyone


----------



## amandaloo

Thanks ladies   . Feel ok DH has been supportive and that's helped a lot . I often worry about the stress they go through too. 

Holly - have you started your cycle yet ? 

Amanda x


----------



## juju81

Amanda   , have you given yourself a cut off? We're hoping to import 3vials. If I'm still not pregnant after them that's it.  I would love another one but I'm not as desperate as I was pre Noah. I know there are lots of positives about only having one and I've accepted that might be the case. And if it is then we can do amazing holidays, ie Lapland that we just couldn't afford to do with 2. 


I did even say to Nick the other day shall we seriously just stick with Noah.....it's gone to far now and we have to give it a shot. I think if we didn't we might regret it in a few yrs time. At least we've tried. It's just not the be all and end all for us anymore    


The meeting is tomorrow   it doesn't end until 4.30 by which time our clinic will be shut so probably want find out until Thursday and I'm doing elections at work


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- yeah I've sort of got in mind this next FET then one more ivf and any fets if I was lucky that might happen from that . Wouldn't go any further than that . Will see how I am after next FET as I've even considered leaving it at that you know before now . I'm 38 now and I want to enjoy DS first years rather than spend all my time focusing on treatment . I know what you mean I'm not as desperate either and I think that a bfn has been easier to deal with  because I have DS . Saying that I was surprised that I did get upset when I read the negative test I most probably want another more than I've thought not sure if that sounds like waffle ! What's your meeting about at the clinic?


----------



## juju81

No it totally makes sense. Any bFN is ****e but not as ****e if u didn't have one  

Meeting is the HFEA panel to hear our application to import more of Noah's donor. He's undisclosed so shouldn't be allowed but were appealing on humanitarian grounds and a genetic sibling for Noah.  We then have to apply for a licence for our clinic to use it. That won't o to panel until the HFEa's January meeting   hopefully my af will come about a wk later so insemination should be beg feb   might you be my cycle bud??


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - hope the meeting goes well fingers crossed for you, really hope you get to use Noah's donor will keep everything crossed for you. I think I will be a cycle buddy yeah . Going to make a nurse consultation for January not quite sure when I'll be able to start though as need to have a true period first. I can't work out when that's going to be yet but on af now so hopefully have another in dec . If I make an early appt in Jan then might be able to start in Jan ? I'm a bit worried about the snow situation though in Jan feb !! I've to travel an hour and 15 mins ish to get to clinic over the dreaded m62 .


----------



## juju81

Do u know I've been worrying the same about the snow! Our clinic is 1hr30 away   let's hope it's not an issue this year!!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hi Amanda - yes baseline scan tomorrow. Feel like total mess today. Terrible headache that is shutting my eyes and throbbing, not made better by paracetamol or water and feels like it will burst when I sneeze or cough - also have a cold.

I always feel this rubbish after down regulating. I stopped the pill over a week ago and I am on day 13 of buserelin. So no oestrogen in my system and that for me means a migraine. I don't have the luxury of being able to lay in a dark room in the quiet this time as little man needs attention and there is only me to give it.


----------



## juju81

Ahh holly that sucks. I suffer migraines so u hav my every sympathy. Would DH really not help or his he physically not there?


----------



## amandaloo

Holly - oh no :-( . I personally found this fet cycle hard wrk with the drugs and downreg . Had to downreg another week as period came late typical ! The progesterone makes me feel sick . It's not easy looking after a little one when your feeling ill :-( really feel for you . Very best of luck for your cycle will be praying for a BFP for you x

Juju- let's hope it dosent snow )


----------



## northernmonkey

Juju - hope it's a good outcome tomorrow.     How did your move go?  


Holly - good luck for tomorrow.     Has Charley started your work's nursery yet?


----------



## juju81

NM, thanks hun. Wow check out your ticker. Not long    move was stressful. All settled now tho. Want be doing that again in a hurry!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hi NM - yes C is at work nursery and is getting on really well there. Still howls a bit on leaving him, but he is soon having lots of fun, learning loads and loads, and the ladies are really nice. It is nice knowing that he is over the road if I need to see him. I don't go over there in the daytime as he might be very upset if he thought I was collecting him, just to leave again. But it is nice to know I can if I wanted to.

I am now glad he is not a the childminders as I think this is so much better and we get so much more time together! He is gradually getting used to the train journey and the last 2 nights as fallen asleep on the train - fabulous!

NM - not much longer for you - bet you are excited!


----------



## ceci.bee

Ju


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Baseline scan did not go well - lining 0.9mm too thick despite down regulating and that has cost me another week and £125 for a scan.    So fed up.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- oh no :-( hope your ok . Positive thoughts eh x


----------



## carrie lou

Oh no Holly what a pain  and sorry about the migraine too, that's rubbish. Hopefully though it will all be worth it when that little frostie has snuggled in.       
Ju - good luck for the meeting


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly 0.9 mm too thick!!! that sounds like nothing! What should the thickness be?  Keep positive, seems to me that cycles that don't start too well end up with BFPs so    , keep your chin up and focus on a good scan next week.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm lining has to be thin then once it's thin enough you use patches to thicken it up. 


Holly thin vibes coming your way    glad charley likes nursery.   


Ju snow


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yeah it was 4.9 and needs to be less than 4mm.

I also had about 4x 10mm follicles plus lots of smaller ones which when you are supposed to be completely down regulated is a bit odd. Some people on stims for IVF have less than that!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## ceci.bee

shame Holly hun feeling your pain. hope they can sort it out for you


----------



## juju81

So holly was ur lining 0.9 or 4.9   I'm confused  

I've still not heard from clinic, I'm hoping its because they were closed when the meeting finished!

Minx, snow? Wtf u on about??


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

It was 0.9 dingbat  

You are worried about snow?!!


----------



## juju81

Mistletoe (Holly) said:


> Yeah it was 4.9 and needs to be less than 4mm.


  have I misread something then?

Yes I'm worried about the snow! The last 2 yrs its snowed *finger*


----------



## carrie lou

I've just re-read Holly's post - I think she meant it was too thick by 0.9mm i.e. it was 4.9, when it needs to be 4.


----------



## juju81

Ha ha, that would make sense


----------



## carrie lou




----------



## amandaloo

Juju when will you hear then ?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yes 0.9mm too thick. When you are talking about less than 1mm it seems ridiculous, but I guess they know what they are doing?


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- it does seem like madness but I'm sure they know what's best . I had to downreg another week too as I hadn't even had my af when I went for my scan I was a bit late getting af . I felt a bit stupid really I should have rung them and queried should I still be going duhhh ! But they booked my appt I did at the time think it seemed early on to go ! how many are you having transfered?

Does anybody know how much chance of pg goes up if u have 2 put back compared to one ?


----------



## carrie lou

Holly I suppose as a percentage of what it's supposed to be, being 0.9 mm too thick is probably quite considerable. But I don't really know much about IVF/FET so am only guessing.

Amanda - sorry I don't know the answer but I guess you have to weigh it up against the risk of twins.   

Ju - any news from clinic?


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - I only have one day 6 good looking blastocyst. I have been given 70% odds of it working and was told that even if I had 2 my chances would not be higher. I have been told there is a 5% risk of ID twinning. One girl on our parenting thread on the other side had one blast put back and is having ID twins.


----------



## ceci.bee

Holly a 70% chance is great            your embie snuggles in when they get the lining right. 

AManda There are a few cases of ID twins from SET on FF and lots of twins from DET. I think the twin chances have to be calcculated by your clinic looking at the embies and ultimately you end up with the babie/s you get. I don't think DET puts up your pg chances too much - I thought it would double them but my clinic told me not...............

just took Joshi for his first day at nursery here - he loved it and it was great to see him having fun, but did bring a lump to my throat he is growing up so fast and I am soooooooo broody for number 2!

lltos of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - when is your next scan?     Glad to hear Charley is enjoying nursery by the way and how lovely for him to be able to come with you on the train every day. That's just a little boy's dream! 


Ceci - what are your plans for # 2? 


Juju - hope you get good news from the clinic today. 


Afm - 36 weeks today!!!! Ticker is counting down from last period but I'm calculating edd from iui date which was the Monday.  I can't believe I will be full term in 2 weeks! Am so excited and can't wait to find out if it's a girl or boy... I'm amazed at how fit I still feel, I'm actually less tired and less uncomfortable than I was with the other two.  And that's despite being totally in the nesting stage and spending every spare minute scrubbing the house.  Dh probably wishes I could be pregnant forever if it meant having such a clean house all the time.    


Love to everyone, dd has after school football club today (I'm just waiting for her to be kicked once then she'll refuse to go anymore, she's a complete softie ) then goes straight to gymnastics so I've got to go and prepare their tea for when we get back.  DH and I agreed ages ago that we'd let her try different activities in the hope that there would be a couple she would stick at but dammit she loves them all!  Which means most evenings I'm driving her to one thing or another.  Don't know how I'll manage it with 3.... 


xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

NM - my house could do with some TLC if your scrubbing brush needs extra work! LOL

Glad you are feeling so well. I was running around the few days before C was born - cut and lifted bedroom old carpet and went to the tip, had the carpet fitter in, set up the cot, hoovered, moved the changing unit, ran up and downstairs moving clothes and baby equipment, got the pram and car seat out, made the beds, cleaned the kitchen and fridge and did a huge ASDA shop at about 7pm. Was caught by two of the new Dads from antenatal and they were horrified when I said I had a c-section in the morning and they insisted in helping me by putting the shopping in the car. They were horrified I had no one at home to help me put it all away. I felt so well.

Scan is tomorrow at 1.30pm - wish me luck!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Phew   I need a lie down after reading all that


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - how do you manage all your housework now? Got to say I admire mums who hold down a job and the domestic side of things, I know I couldn't manage both. Do you do it all in the evenings?  Good luck for tomorrow.      Will be thinking of you.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

A lot of it has gone to pot!
I do what is needed a bit less frequently than I would like. There just isn't the time when working 4-5 days a week with a LO. I am out of the house 8-7 and on my day off I want to play with C.
I am often hanging up washing to dry at 2 or 4 am and washing bottles and doing the dishwasher at midnight. If I get a day off I try an hoover, wash one lot of washing and hang up another and put away another and do the shopping and one other job like wash the kitchen floor, change the beds, clean the patio doors or the fridge out.

I could really do with some help!


----------



## juju81

Good luck today Holly  

Blimey, that's knackered me out reading that! I do whites and darks on a weds then another whites and darks on a Sunday. Then I run the Hoover round when I can be bothered. By the time I can be bothered nicks done it


----------



## carrie lou

Gosh Holly I don't know how you do it. Get a cleaner in!   I don't work and only just manage to keep up with the housework. I do a little mini clean up and tidy of the downstairs every evening when Z goes to bed. And Z likes "helping" me hang up the washing so I manage to keep up with that! The rest has to wait until the weekends when DH is around. Fortunately he likes taking care of Z and will take him to the park or something so i can have an hour to clean the bathrooms, change the beds etc, which is almost impossible to do with a toddler hanging on to your leg and trying to "help" clean to toilet!    Good luck for your scan     




I had to take Z to the doctors yesterday cos he came out in hives all over his body! GP said it is an allergic reaction to something but I can't for the life of me think what it could be - he hasn't tried any new foods, hasn't been playing in the garden, no new laundry detergents or anything like that.  GP said sometimes they never find out what causes it. He had piriton last night (was very very itchy and uncomfortable) and this morning they've all disappeared.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Bizarre  

My house had gone to pot too  

I do on line food shopping now otherwise we wouldn't eat. It's fab


----------



## juju81

Carrie, how bizarre, my friend posted a pic of her little girl on ** this morning with hives.....she didn't know what they were but was told allergic reaction. My niece used to come out with them when she was run down too. If she ever got a temp they would appear. They look really scary tho don't they


----------



## ceci.bee

you guys are amazing - you are not selling me to come back to the UK (except for TTC in 2014) - one of the great things about living in Africa is that you are expected to employ full time domestic help (if you don't you have people knocking on the door all day every day asking for a job) - so I have a full time nanny, housekeeper and gardener, and will never be able to afford even a quarter of that when come back to the UK as 3 days/wk NHS is just about going to cover my childcare    lala la denial land   

NM you will manage, you are really supermum

Holly I bow down in awe if you are doing washing at 4am, I am usually conked, although here it is the coolest time of day - currently around 40 degrees in the daytime and 26-30 in Joshi's room every night.

lots of love to all and good luck for all the upcoming cyclers            

Ceci


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Carrie - I posted on the other thread about Z's hives - were you on antibiotics for the mastitis - if so he might have reacted to the antibiotics excreted in your milk. You can get delayed hypersensitivity too to things so it might have taken a few days since exposure.

Ceci - I will be working 3 days in the NHS and my hospital has a day nursery which is very reasonable. I pay £35 per day under 2, 2-3 £26 per day and by the time he gets to 3 with the 15 hours funded per week I will be paying about £17.50p per day!

Now for me post sorry......
My second baseline scan for the FET went even worse! There is an active follicle now 13.3mm and another about 10mm secreting oestrogen and it has caused my lining to go from 4.9mm to 9.5mm in the extra week of so called down regulating! My body has not shut down, which explains why my headache got better!
So I was told to take provera for 5 days and wait a few days for a bleed and then call the clinic for another scan. Great! I casually asked if they are closed for Christmas and the nurse pulled out a laminated sheet and then calculated some dates and realised that I will probably just miss the deadline for last scan for the Christmas shut down and deep clean of the labs. 

So now I am taking the provera for 5 days from tomorrow and then have to call when I get my bleed. They will see if I am shut down and then keep me on a reduced dose of buserelin and tell me when I can start the oestrogen which will probably be not until the 17th December now with embryo transfer in the first week in January.


----------



## northernmonkey

Holly - I agree with Carrie, you should get a cleaner! I'm getting one in January for 2-3 hours a week just so I know the kitchen and bathroom are getting a good clean once a week and the beds are changed and Hoover ran round.  I feel like its a bit of a cop out when I'm at home all day but dh suggested it so I wasn't going to argue.    I don't know how you keep going, you must be exhausted.  Oh no, your post just came through as I was trying to post mine.  You must be so gutted about your scan.   How do they know about the oestrogen - did they do a blood test?  I know it's frustrating when things are delayed but I guess the only silver lining is that you can enjoy Christmas with Charley then go for it all guns blazing in January.  And what better way to start the new year than with a bfp     Is dh giving you much support with the tx?   


Ceci - wow, 3 people helping out! Does the housekeeper cook for you?  That's the one thing I would love - someone to prepare all the meals and wash the pots afterwards    


Carrie - how weird about the hives, glad to hear it didn't last long though.   


Funny story from dd#2 today.  We were driving to school this afternoon listening to Christmas songs (yes really...   ) and a minute or so after Little Donkey ended,  dd piped up from the back of the car "mummy can I listen to Quiet Horsey again?"  It almost made up in advance for the madam she turned into for the hour before bedtime tonight....


----------



## juju81

Holly, excuse my ignorance I don't know too much about IVF or FET cycles. Am I right in thinking you need no follies because they are implanting an embryo? So they would have liked to see a thin lining and no follies? We're you hoping for a transfer before Xmas? Like NM, I hope your getting support from your DH    I couldn't imagine going through treatment let alone pregnancy and parenthood singlehanded.    


I feel some of your frustration. I thought I'd be having tx dec, then I accepted it would be jan, now it may not be until feb but if the HFEA are this slow in updating my clinic then it won't be until march


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju yes holly needs no follies so the lining is thin. The drugs should make the body shut down of hormones the. Once that happens she'll need oestrogen patches to thicken up the lining. 

I wish we could afford a cleaner.  

Holly god your child care is cheap  

We pay £35 for half a day


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Mighty - yes it is good! I have to sacrifice much more of my salary, but because it is done on salary sacrifice it works out cheaper with the tax. In fact that is the estimated rate for someone on 20% tax, so it might be even cheaper.

Ju - yes, my lining has a habit of being too thick - my lining was 16mm when Charley was put back.   When I tried the FET before my lining would not go below 8mm. Some people struggle to get an 8mm lining. But for a FET or IVF cycle for that matter it needs to start at 3-4mm before they build a new lining otherwise the lining is not good quality for implantation. In my cycled before the lining has gone from 4mm to 14mm in the first week of stims or oestrogen tablets, which they say is excellent. Just frustrating getting it to behave in the first bit of a cycle.

Normally they do a FET not downregulated and people's normal period gets rid of the lining - but not in me. Every other time I have DReg the lining has gone thin enough, but they think this time when I started jabbing with buserelin the pituitary flare was enough FSH to start a follicle off. (buserelin works by completely depleting the pituitary of FSH and LH - but it means at the start loads is released before the pituitary is empty of stock). This follicle is growing and will ovulate. 

NM they know it is producing oestrogen because my lining has grown from 4.9mm the other day that was too thick to start to now 9.5mm in 6 days despite being supposedly shut down! The oestrogen must be coming from it.


----------



## Rachfins

Thought I'd just pop on and say hi.

Daisy is now 10 weeks old. How time fly's. She had colic but after trying many things cranial oesteopathy seems to have got rid if it . 

We got a cleaner dafter she was born. I don't know how we'd manage to clean the house now. it's enough looking after her, making dinner and washing and drying clothes. We decided it was worth paying for a cleaner. 

Rach x


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Rach  Glad to hear Daisy's colic is easing. Zac had it until about 12 weeks, it's horrible isn't it    


I wish we could afford a cleaner, but with only one of us working, the money just isn't there - I have to do it all myself  If I got a job I would seriously think about getting some help a few hours a week


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## juju81

Rachfins, I'm not sure I knew you had called her daisy. What a beautiful name. I love it. It the middle name we have for if we are to ever have a little girl <3 how often does your cleaner come? And how much roughly are they if you don't mind me asking.......


Carrie the is no way on gods earth nick would allow me to even think about a cleaner if I didn't work    I could do with one to wash my floors.


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## Rachfins

Carrie -Colic is horrible. Listening to your baby crying and not being able to help them is heart breaking.

Juju - Thank you. We pay £23 for 2 hours per week. A lot, when I am on SMP at the mo but worth sacrificing other things for it. I did say when Daisy is easier we could cancel and I would clean but next July I am back at work 4 days a week and I'm sure I'll want a cleaner then!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

£23 for 2hrs   that's alot! It's it an agency? Normal rate here is 8-10ph


----------



## Rachfins

It is a man who runs a cleaning co. He cleans but also has ladies who do too. Not sure if we could get it cheaper but they do a great job and are trustworthy - we had them recommended by a fussy person.


----------



## juju81

What do they do in 2hrs? How much can they get done. I'm seriously considering it


----------



## northernmonkey

Rach - gosh, 10 weeks already!  Lovely name, I love flower names.  Poppy is one of dh's favourites if we have another girl but it doesn't go with our surmane.  Isn't cranial osteopathy great?  I took dd#2 for treatment when she was a baby and she seemed to love it, it totally relaxed her - bizarre!
As for cleaners, I'm hoping to use a lady who cleans for my neighbour.  She charges around £8 per hour and seems to do a good job.  Although I'm not a neat freak, the housework is my main source of stress and i hate when it starts getting out of control.  I know when this baby arrives I'm going to feel guilty that the girls are losing me to the baby in the first few months so the little time I do have spare I want to spend with them, not trying to squeeze in cleaning. I'm sure my mil would give me a hand if I asked her to but her house is absolutely spotless and I'd feel like I had to clean ours before I could let her in to do it!
Had my booking in appt for another homebirth yesterday - it feels real now!!  I'm on a slight downer because my sister hasn't spoken to me for coming up 4 weeks (long story...) and although we've had ups and downs in the past I'm starting to feel really hurt that that she's giving me the cold shoulder now of all times when I want her to be a big part of it all.    DH has suggested that I get in touch with her, but what with all the hormones raging I don't think I could handle it if she told me to bog off!  
Right, I'm off to start getting ready for the day - got to leave the house at 8.15 today with the girls, got loads on - well they have, my diary is as dull as ever.   Hope everyone has a good weekend.
x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju cleaners do what u want them to do within the amount of time u book them for. Most people have 2 he's. some don't do ironing but as u don't either then that's fine  

I'd love a cleaner


----------



## carrie lou

Ju, I used to do a bit of cleaning when I was a student to earn some extra cash. Not sure how big your house is but I'd say in an average house, 2 hrs is probably enough to dust, vacuum, clean the bathroom. But I suppose it depends what your priorities are. I used to iron too but that was in addition to all the cleaning and took longer.


NM - sorry to hear about your sister  Hope you manage to sort things out with her


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

NM - just pick up the phone and talk to your sister - otherwise it will just fester and you want it to be a happy time. What is the problem between you. You don't have to say of course.

And just ask the MIL to give you a hand. Who cares if her house is spotless, she hasn't got children at home. You will need a hand. Bet she had a good clear out after the kids went and cleaned her house top to bottom.


----------



## juju81

NM, I agree, call your sister. Be the bigger person hun.  Or text her....makes a start. Get a cleaner. Do it


Carrie, I would love my lounge, and 2 bedrooms hoovered. My dining room, 3rd bed/toy room and loo and bathroom are tiled so I'd like them washed. Then just a dust. That wouldn't take more than 2hrs would it?


Minx, yeah they don't need to worry about ironing in our house ha ha


----------



## amandaloo

owwww ladies Id love a cleaner    
Juju- did I miss something what happened at the clinic?
Nm- Hope you sort it out with your sister    
Holly- When is your next appointment ? Your chances sound amazing      
Rachfins- I agree I love the name Daisy


----------



## juju81

Amanda, no not missed anything, not that I know anyway.......I'm still waiting the HFEA's decision


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- grrrr must be frustrating   

Is everyone ok quiet on here x


----------



## teresal

Hi ladies
All very quiet on here nowadays, sorry i don't post much, but never much happening here, the usual terrible two's and starting potty training   
we are just about ready for christmas now although Meredith doesn't like Santa (not even a picture) and if you say santa is coming with presents she gets a bit scared so looks like her village christmas party is going to be fun.
ju they are making you wait a while arent they, what is there to decide, its either a yes or no surely so why take so long and make you suffer. Noah is beautiful and seems quiet a character (but what would you expect with you as a mum haha)
mini your 2 boys are getting so big, hows the ocd with ds#2 feeding himself    i see him very much like his daddy though, ds#1 is like you i think anyway.
NM wow your pregnancy seems to have flown in, hope you are ready for number 3

good luck to athe other pg ladies and those going through and starting tx soon
nothing much happening with us like i said, have the dreaded in laws coming tomorrow afternoon    will be the third time this year they have visited us and i can say i'm not looking forward to it especially since we have had to change our plans to fit in with them, seemingly its the only time they can make it down before christmas, for goodness sake how busy can two people be when they are retired...ohh yes between going to chapel and seeing the other grandchildren they don't have time to see Meredith. nothing has changed between them and me, i still can't stand them and they don't really like me so hey ho. the last time we went to see them when we arrived we where greeted by "ohh your here early we are going to chapel so you will have to come back at 1.30pm" my reply was well we are leaving at 3pm to get back for Merediths tea time, they said thats fine, so they seen her for a total of 1.5 hours, it takes that long to drive up there so spent more time on the road than them seeing her, whats the point really. anyway rant over, i am going to just be pleasant as usual and count the minutes down till they leave (they only stay a couple of hours cos they will need to get back cos of the weather, its a long way or whatever their excuse will be this time)

better go missy is destroying the dvds from the shelf   
hugs to all


----------



## carrie lou

Aww, Teresa - you and i should get together  My FIL is the same. He has only been to visit us twice this year I think, and one of those occasions was Z's birthday party when he went and sat in the car rather than actually spend time with his grandson  MIL visits more often (unfortunately  ) but FIL always has an excuse why he can't come with her, always something more important to do. But you know what, it is totally their loss - one day my FIL and your in-laws will wake up and realise their grandchildren have grown up and they missed it, and thats' something you can never get back. I've decided I can't waste any more time or energy on trying to figure out why my FIL behaves like such a   . It's HIS problem, not mine, and I have a life to be getting on with. 


Hope everyone else is well - it has been very quiet on here  DH is out at a work Christmas do so I'm home alone with my little boy tonight; he has been poorly today with lots of vomiting (we both ran out of clean clothes today  ) but seems a bit better now.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I can't see dh in Samuel at all apart from the ears  

Carrie   hope josh is better  

Back laters


----------



## juju81

Teresa,   to the inlaws. Nicks stepdad rarely sees Noah. He doesn't even call him grandad! Yes exactly why is it taking them so long to say yes or no. Once they say yes to importing we then have to apply to be able to use it. I dread to think when we'll be ready to actually have the tx  

Carrie,   to urs too! Me and Noah had D&V last week. I lost 5lb  

Minx, I think Ds2 is a spit of u! 

I'm lying in bed. Watching Saturday kitchen. Out for dinner tonight with friends and seeing Santa at Amberley museum tomorrow


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Phew thank god for that


----------



## northernmonkey

Teresa - good to hear from you, lovely photo of Meredith- she looks like a real character!  My eldest was frightened of Santa for years, in fact I think last year was the first year she would go near him when she was 4! 
How did the visit with the in laws go?? 


Carrie - hope you managed to avoid catching the vomiting bug, there's nothing worse than trying to look after a little one when you're ill yourself. 


Juju - hope you and Noah are feeling better too.  I hate this time of year with all the bugs. And it's worse when they get to school... 


Mini - hello!  How are you getting on with Lucas's eating? Any improvement? 


AFM - one week to go until due date and I'm feeling dreadful.    Have had a cough for weeks which resulted in me pulling a muscle in my rib last weekend so I've been hobbling around since then. Keep thinking the cough is improving then it gets worse again and started with horrendous cold on Friday which has now gone to my sinuses.  I saw the gp last Tuesday, she was lovely, had good listen to my chest etc but didn't think I needed antibiotics.  Anyway, have been gradually feeling more drained and down over the weekend and am getting really worried about how I'll get through labour and cope with a baby so I rang dr surgery today and lovely gp is going to give me some antibiotics and nasal steroid spray to try to sort me out.  I really hope it does the trick, I'm not used to being ill and it's getting me so down and spoiling what should be one of the most exciting times of my life.   


Holly - thanks again for all the advice on the pharmacist thread but I have to ask when do you sleep Your replies are always after midnight!!!  When is your next scan? 


Well I'd better go and get some lunch and pop some more paracetamol. Speak soon. Sorry for a bit of a me post! 


xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

wow NM thats gone quick!!       Hope you feel better soon 


The eating has got better but hes still fighting it


----------



## carrie lou

NM - hope you feel better soon - don't blame you for being worried about it with baby coming so soon!    


Teresa - lovely profile pic, what a gorgeous smile   


Juju - I can't believe you are STILL waiting for an answer -is this going to delay your plans for starting treatment? Yes I also find D&V is an excellent weight loss plan but I always put it all back on again as soon as I start eating properly  Hope you're feeling better now.  


AFU - dreaded D&V has laid all 3 of us low this weekend  It's so horrible being sick when you have a little one to look after. Poor Z was plonked in front of CBeebies a lot more than I'd usually think advisable while DH and I lay around feeling sorry for ourselves! There wasn't even anyone who could come and help out - my parents (who live the closest to us) couldn't come because my mum didn't want to risk getting it (she is immunosuppressed). Anyway, feeling a lot better today


----------



## juju81

NM,    hope you feel better soon.  Feeling ill is the pits. We're your other 2 on time?    Fr a speedy delivery    Noah now has a stinking cold. Bless him. I'm dosing him up on piriton, calpol and nurofen 


Carrie, yes it will delay my tx. I'm so fed up. I feel like jacking it all in tbh but know I'll regret it if we don't try      My mum didnt want to help out either in case they caught it. Don't blame them really!


I emailed my clinic again today. I'm getting sick of the waiting.


Is everyone ready for Christmas? What have all the little ones got? Noah's got:-
Playmobil Campervan
Disney Cars Mack
Disney cars cars
Cars socks
Action man and jeep
Bullseye from toy story....and I can't remember what else. We might out some away for his birthday!


----------



## carrie lou

Ooh lucky Noah  That sounds lovely. Z is getting Brio My First Train Set, a toy car, a boy doll, and a couple of books. He's still young enough that he's not expecting too much.   But I am really excited about this Christmas; compared to last year, he is so much more aware of everything and I think will be really into it. He helped to decorate the tree the other day, was so cute   So sorry your treatment will be delayed  but you've come this far, you might as well see it through and who knows, this time next year you could have a bump or maybe even a baby


----------



## juju81

Yeah Noah understands all about Father Christmas this year. It's lovely I actually cannot wait. I suppose Z is the age Noah was last year.  We went a bit mad on presents back in October....then forgot what we'd bought and bought more     


It's just regarding tx, you end up putting your flaming life on hold. I swore I wasn't going to do it again but we want to book a pre Christmas centre Parcs break next November but I'm unsure whether too because if tx works then ill be due to drop or we don't know how far gone ill be blah blah blah. Nick said let's wait until we're ready then but I can't keep putting it off


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

NM - I've got used to having very little sleep. I really need a good kip, but I just can't. I feel on duty all the time and end up sleeping about 1-3 when little man wakes and wants cuddles so I then doze with him in my bed until about 7. He did actually sleep in his own bed last night, but I missed an opportunity as I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up at 5am, going back to bed for about 2 hours when I had to get up for work. I sometimes fall asleep with DS when I put him to bed for an hour as I am so tired. Have been known to fall asleep with DS and then stay with him all night not waking up again.


----------



## juju81

They said Yes


----------



## pippilongstockings

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!! Great news Juju! I had to come on here after seeing your post on **    When are you going to get started then? x


----------



## carrie lou

That's brilliant Juju    Wonderful news


----------



## juju81

I want to go with my January AF but depends if the licence is through in time. If not it will be febs AF. 

Did ur DH ever decide on another one??


----------



## sweetdreams73

Juju saw your msg on ** and had 2 come on and c your news. Fab news very happy 4 u hope u get 2 stastart tx very soon got everything crossed 4 u.   

lots of hugs 2 everyone else   

all good with us hard work and busy as boys both running around one going one way and the other the other way but its great fun and wouldnt have it anyother way. Excited bot xmas and how m and d will react this yr. Lol xx


----------



## Lindz

Great news Ju! So pleased for you x


----------



## pippilongstockings

juju81 said:


> Did ur DH ever decide on another one??


It's not going to happen unfortunately  I'm a bit sad about it but just enjoying my boys now. I look after my niece alot so it's like having 3 a lot of the time. I'd still like one more though.... but very grateful to have any at all!


----------



## juju81

Thanks girls,


sD the twins are beautiful   


Pippi, I feel like that about the next treatment. I'll be gutted if we don't get lucky but I have Noah and we never in a million yrs expected to have him. He's everything we ever wanted so will just spoil him rotten instead


----------



## JanaH

WOW Juju that's fantastic news.


----------



## teresal

Great news Ju, hope you get started in January xx


----------



## juju81

Janah, when are you having more?


----------



## JanaH

I don't know, still paying for the FET, we've got a BMI card for our treatment. Don't think it will be next year as my husband just started his own company. 


I'm seriously considering being a surrogate. (I just want to be pregnant and give birth)   


Bet you are so excited about it all, when is your next appointment at Shirley? 


We are going skiing in France over New Year, looking forward to it. Booked a nanny to look after Joseph for 3 days. We are leaving with a babysitter for the first time on Saturday we've booked a Xmas dinner with friends, looking forward to it. As for Xmas presents for J, we got him a Henry hoover and kids keyboard with drums. When we get back from hols we will get a fish tank as he loves fishes. We will get some chickens in spring, I can't be bothered feeding them in winter.


----------



## Fizzypop

Hello long time stalker here  now back to work and no time for anything!!! I've gone from being on mat leave to working 75-85 hours a week (only realised this 2 weeks ago so pushing back now) so I can get a life again. 

Ju, thought you were saying that on **, so happy for you xxx


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - that's fantastic news well pleased for you . Def think we will be cycling together . 

Holly- how's your tx? Have you had transfer yet ? Fingers crossed x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju well done!   


Pip - how come you arent trying again?     (after having samuel i'd have another!!) (But not!)


JanaH - blimey!! Good for you but think about it hard hun   


Fizzy - 80hrs


----------



## carrie lou

Cor blimey Fizzy when do you sleep?   

Jana - being a surrogate, that would be amazing  Don't think I could do it but if you can what a wonderful gift to give someone  

Pippi - aw, no 3rd baby, what a shame - any particular reason?   I think I'd like 3 ... eventually   

Ju - sure you will be starting treatment before you know it, not long now


----------



## juju81

Janah, wow. That would be such a gift to someone   we looke at a bmi card first time round but my mum and nicks mum helped out. This time the most we'd have to pay out would be about £1100 for 2 iuis which is just about do able as the IUI is only about £500. Hopefully we won't have to pay out a penny   

Amanda, when is ur next FET? I think realistically ill have IUI around the 7th march. If its feb if be very surprised 

Carrie, when r u cycling again?

Pippi, is it finances? It's ****e that we have to abandon our mummy dreams just because of finances. It's just another reminder of IF  

Fizzy   blimey. What is ur line of work!?

Holly, what's happening with your tx? Are u pupo?


----------



## carrie lou

Juju - I don't really know - initially hoped I would have tried again by now but it hasn't worked out that way  Need to save up a bit more. Hopefully around April/May time. Z will be nearly 2 then, that would give us a nice age gap I think.


----------



## amandaloo

What's a BMI card? 

Fizzypop- you must be knackered , heck I struggle doing full time :-/

Juju- I'm not sure when I'll start I've emailed clinic to get a nurse consult and pre tx scan for jan . But looking at the dates I think it's going to Be more like feb before I start as it will be right at beggining of jan when it's day 21 so won't have even had appts by then . So think I'll be doing it on cycle after . Our clinic shut down over Xmas for deep cleaning . 

Pippi- sorry to hear no more big hugs xx


----------



## ceci.bee

yay ju that is fab news

Janah IKWYM about surrogates, but I know if I did it I could not give up the baby it would be too hard    am soooo broody love living here but at the same time can't wait to come home for TTC again. I am back for a week in april to go to a wedding and am soooooo tempted to sneak to the clinic for a quickie but think  it doesn't work like that.......  

Fizzy no wonder you are a stalker on here, when do you sleep hope you can cut your hours.....  

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Fab news about the donor Juju - I cannot believe it only costs £500 for IUI - at my clinic the donor sperm ifs £850 before you start the IUI or IVF.

Amanda - good you are starting again. There seems to be a few of us having another try!

Fizzy - how can you work so hard with a LO - it kills me being out of the house 4 days a week 7.45 to 7pm.

JanaH - that is lovely thinking about surrogacy for someone - make their dream come true. I could not give up the baby though I don't think - not until I have completed my family, then I expect I'd be too old.

Pippi - why no to number 3?

AFM - no still waiting. Been down regulating for ages now and lining still not thin enough. After the lining going up to 9.2mm and me making 2 follicles when I should not have made any I now have a residual cyst in my right ovary. The lining after provera bleed was 5.3 or something, and then the doctor said 4 was ideal but we could still start - it was 4.9 and they said I could not start before! grrrr.

Now they are shut for cleaning at Christmas, so I have to wait until the 17th for a final scan to make sure the cyst is not producing oestrogen and if all well I can start tablets then for ET first week in January.

Had the letter for my smear test due in Jan. I tried to get it done early so it was out of the way but there was some funding issue with the PCT - why oh why - as I would have it done anyway! more grrrr! So as I am still delayed with treatment and not on oestrogen, I thought I would get it done today so hopefully I get the results before the transfer. Here's hoping that there is nothing wrong - never has been before. But at least I will know and not then have to worry or get it sorted out.


----------



## juju81

Amanda, Shirley oaks is a BMi hospital and you can get a kind of credit card to pay with. Ooh so yes we could be cycle buds. My last cycle bud had her baby the same day as me too   


Ah it's pants when the clinic shut down, luckily mine doesn't apart from Christmas Day 


Holly, god    it's not releasing oestrogen. If it is will you have to have it removed. Good to get your smear in quick too    our clinic are mega cheap. When I had tx with Noah it was only £420 a cycle and the sperm £250  they have bloody good result too. It's a very small clinic, literally the size of 3 private hospital rooms connected within a private hospital. I love it. They always remember me and my tx/history details. I love them 


Carrie, lets hope you can get the funds together. I've always wanted a bigger age gap so it's actually working out well for us.


----------



## carrie lou

Ju - your clinic sound fantastic. My treatment was funded but if going private, it would be about £850 for a cycle of IUI - plus extra for donor sperm and drugs  I want to save up enough for a few cycles just in case it doesn't work first time again. Then we can just go straight into another cycle.


----------



## northernmonkey

Evening ladies, quiet on here at the moment. Hope you're all well and just busy preparing for Christmas. 

Holly - how did you get on today?    


Juju - great news about your donor. This time next year you could be waiting for a very special Christmas pressie.   


Fizzy - I can't believe how many hours you work!! What do you do??


Well it's my due date today (based on basting date) but no sign of anything happening yet.  Thankfully I'm feeling slightly better in myself and the cough has improved, but weeks of coughing resulted in another pulled muscle yesterday and I've spent today in agony. The girls have both started coughing and I had to keep dd#1 off school today with a sore throat and temperature.  Sounds pathetic but I just couldn't cope with the pain by lunchtime and had to get dh home from work. Spent the afternoon snuggled up in bed with dd#1 watching Snow White which was lovely. I just want the baby here now - I've come to the conclusion that my body is giving everything to the baby and I'm not going to get better until it's out! 


Well I'm off for some tea then an early night just incase things kick off before morning... 


Sorry for lack of personals, hello to everyone. 


xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Well really p###ed off now.

Body still not playing ball.
It is as if I am not taking buserelin at all!

I have several follicles growing again and a lining that has gone back up to 14mm!
The cyst is still there and is > 20mm and another follicle in the other ovary is 16.5mm plus several smaller ones.
Had a blood test - oestradiol level 400!

So now I have to inject buserelin twice a day   , take an HCG trigger shot to get rid of the follicles and provera to induce yet another bleed. Goodness knows whether this will work this time.  3rd attempt!

NM - how exciting - a due date. Can't wait now! Good luck   Sorry you are all feeling so rubbish and in pain.


----------



## carrie lou

NM - hope you feel better soon and don't have too much longer to wait      


Holly - I replied on the other thread, but hang in there    It will all be worth it in the end


----------



## juju81

Holly     so friggin annoying. I've said before I don't really understand IVF but that's obviously not blimming good    hope it sorts itself out.  You need calm and tranquility in your life.  Tell DH to buck his ideas up xxx


----------



## pippilongstockings

Holly   how frustrating! Hope the drugs do their job and you can get going again ASAP.

NM - I can't believe how quickly your pg has gone. Fingers crossed baby is here very soon (but not next Tuesday!). xx

Wow, so many people gearing up for more tx! Good luck everyone 

To answer the question about why we're not having any more, DH is done! He's knackered, worn out, old before his time etc  I do kind of agree with him, the boys can be very tiring. But I'd still have another one if he changed his mind! I know that I could get him to agree but that's not really the best way to do it is it?! I had a huge wave of broodiness this weekend when we went to my Aunt's for our Christmas get together. My cousins have both got babies - one is 7 months old and 1 is 3 weeks old. Too too scrummy. Doesn't help that both of my boys adore babies and just want to stroke or hold them - they'd be great big brothers 

Sorry for the quickie - I _should _be working..... Loads to do before Christmas! xxxx


----------



## amandaloo

Holly - :-( you must be very frustrated will keep everything crossed that your body starts reacting as it should x


----------



## juju81

Has anyone heard from phoebs?

Amanda, how's ur tx going?


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- I've booked a nurse consultation for 15th jan but I won't start any treatment till day 21 which will be getting on towards end of January beginning of feb then the FET cycle itself can take a while think I'll poss have a transfer in march. How about you?

Not heard anything from Pheobs hope her and the lil man are doing well x


----------



## juju81

Oh so not long really. I won't be starting any later than end of feb. if the licence to use comes through in time for my January period then I'll be starting with January's period.  Could be having tx near each other


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pipp I'd have another if we won the lottery, didn't have to be pregnant and fast forward 2 yrs - 4yrs old    terrible  twos = loss of patience and sanity! I've had it now! I swear he's the exorcist!!!


----------



## pippilongstockings

♥ Mighty Mini ♥ said:


> Pipp I'd have another if we won the lottery, didn't have to be pregnant and fast forward 2 yrs - 4yrs old  terrible twos = loss of patience and sanity! I've had it now! I swear he's the exorcist!!!


 Zackers is the same, sooooo much worse than Luke ever was! It gets better at about 5.......!


----------



## teresal

Merry Christmas everyone, hope you all have a great day    

xxxx


----------



## carrie lou

Happy Christmas everyone  Have a really special day with your little ones and families


----------



## JanaH

Merry Christmas, enjoy the day with your family.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Have a very Merry Christmas with all your loved ones


----------



## Fizzypop

Happy Xmas all!!! Xxx

I work in HR. part of that time is spent on the train. I normally work in the evening after DD gone to bed and at weekends when she naps. I'm not sacrificing time with her but am with dh and he is a bit sensitive about it  Anyway, have a new person joining jan so hope will get easier. I want to go part time but figure I might as well wait till after next mat leave (hoping to go again march time just have a bit more weight to shift!

Hope Santa was good to all the bubbas. DD is currently sitting on her kitchen (which is on its side) watching gruffalo and she won't let me stand it up!!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

typical! Samuels had enough and gone back to bed   Lucas is watching toy story 1.


----------



## juju81

Fizzy    we could be cycle buds too    I'll be having treatment feb, inseam beg march. I'm mega excited    


Mini, Toy story 2 is my fave   


Noah's gone back to bed too


----------



## Fizzypop

Hoping she will be joining them shortly so I can recover all the presents that have been put all over the house!!!


----------



## Lindz

Hope everyone's having a lovely day. We're just trying the twins with Toy Story now. They seem pretty engrossed. Time for Mummy to open the Baileys I think! X


----------



## hakunamatata

hello everyone hope youre all having a wonderful christmas. addi has been just wonderful. 
sounds like there will be a lot if you having treatment together. we will explore this in feb after addi is one. need to stop breast feeding first. live reading all your news. maybe i can reply more now i have a tablet. hugs to all x x x


----------



## amandaloo

Hi

Hope everyone's had a fab Christmas xxx


----------



## northernmonkey

Hello everyone, glad Christmas went well for everyone. Had great day here too despite dd#2 coming down with a virus on Christmas Eve - thank goodness for calpol! We were slightly on edge all day incase baby decided to appear but it's still keeping us waiting.    Can't believe I'm 10 days over - I could have been induced today but am digging my heels in and hoping it'll happen spontaneously so have managed to get out of it. I'll probably give in on Monday when (if!!) I reach 42 weeks but I really don't want an induction if I can help it. I did have a bit of a show this morning and am going to try to see the midwife for a sweep tomorrow so fingers crossed.... And it's a full moon tomorrow if there's any truth in the story of it bringing on labour... 


Lindz - hope you got your baileys.  I've got a bottle waiting for me in the kitchen cupboard when bubba is out....


----------



## carrie lou

Aw NM sorry to hear you're still waiting  I went 2 weeks over with Zac, it was soooo frustrating! I was induced in the end and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd imagined. Good luck, hope not too much longer for you


----------



## northernmonkey

Carrie - how did they induce you? I was examined last Friday and was 2cm dilated and cervix was soft so apparently they would just break my waters.  Have had another show this morning and having sweep at 11.15am.


----------



## carrie lou

I just needed 1 pessary. That got me to 4cm. Then they examined me and broke my waters. Z was born about 8 hours after that. Good luck


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Oooh nm sounds like it won't be long


----------



## northernmonkey

At last!!! Another girl! Our beautiful daughter arrived at 1.45 this afternoon weighing 9lb 10oz-I don't grow little babies! Will update later, am pooped right now. But ecstatic.


----------



## olivia m

Wonderful news NM.  Many congratulations to you all.
Olivia


----------



## carrie lou

Congratulations NM     3 little girls, wow. Hope everything is going well, enjoy


----------



## juju81

Fabulous news NM    when you've had a nap    come and fill us in on birth story


----------



## amandaloo

Nm-   . Great news many congratulations xxx


----------



## Lindz

Huge Congratulations to NM and DH on the birth of DD3!!!


----------



## Fizzypop

Wow fab news, 3 lovely girls. Hope you are all doing well xxx


----------



## juju81

Cupcake sends her love and congrats


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

3 little girls! So lucky! Well done!


----------



## amandaloo

Holly how's your tx going ? Hope your back on track x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Congratulations NM       


I want to know everything


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - injecting the buserelin twice a day now.  Just finished another course of provera after taking an HCG trigger shot to rid myself of all the follicles I grew and now waiting for AF  . Don't know what I will do if this does not work.   

I guess I will have a scan at the end of the week and see if it has worked. I have to now avoid the 16th Jan for an embryo transfer as I am interviewing. But I think I will definitely miss it now anyway as I have to have AF, have a scan after about 5-7 days, then oestrogen for 10-14 days and it is a day 6 blast.


----------



## pippilongstockings

Great news NM       


Holly - everything crossed that it's worked and you can get cracking again   


Hope you all had a lovely Christmas? Ours was lovely. Got news today that our mortgage should be approved by the end of this week (after weeks of stress!), so hopefully we'll be moving to our forever home soon   


Sounds like there will be a lot of activity on here early this year! I'll be snooping to keep up with all the news!




HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL XX


----------



## ceci.bee

yay NM that is fabulous news so pleased for you

Holly and Ju                 

lots of love and happy new year to you all
Ceci


----------



## hakunamatata

Hi girls had to come on and share my excitement, we have booked a bourn hall appointment for the 18th Feb and apparently we have 4 ampules of the good stuff reserved, that was a relief. Hopefully 4 goes is all we will need. I'm off to get some advice re weaning Addi off breast feeding, any advice girls. She is still very dependant on boobie and faddy on eating solids.  I wonder if I will have to wait a while after I'm finished for  hormones to return to normal? 
Gone quiet on here. Hope youre doing ok holly x


----------



## carrie lou

Hak, that's so exciting that you have an appointment booked  I'm still breastfeeding Zac but we have cut down a lot since he turned one. He went through a phase of wanting boobie ALL the time, I literally couldn't sit down without him pulling at my top!   I found I had to confine it to certain times of day and if he asked in between, I would say, not now, but we will later. Then offer him an alternative drink/snack and/or try to distract him with a book or a toy. At first I had to work hard to keep him busy in between feeds so he wouldn't "remember" to ask for boobie! But now he knows our routine and knows he won't get any except during our set feed times. He now has just 3 feeds a day, first thing in the morning, before his nap, and bedtime, which suits us very well. Is Addi still feeding at night? In which case, that might be harder to wean her off. I have found that the more gradually you cut out feeds, the less distressing it is all round - but this might be harder if you have to give up by a certain point in order to start treatment  Zac also was very fussy about solid foods at about that age but this has improved a lot, it just takes patience. Anyway, hope this helps a little - happy to chat about it more if you want


----------



## juju81

Carrie I didn't realise you were still feeding Z. I keep thinking he was born the same year as Noah. A tho I'm still not sure about teeth


----------



## juju81

Fab news tho Hak. Had you always wanted a small age gap?


----------



## hakunamatata

thanks carrie i had wondered if i would start by cutting out every other bf but replace with bottle, then cut completely a bit later.im nervous about cutting complately until shes feeding better, some meals, weeks etc are better than others. can you tell im clueless.
ju not sure what i wanted really,choices seem to be taken away. im very aware im 38 in march and wont do ivf again so time of the essence for iui.do you think im crazy then?


----------



## carrie lou

No Ju he's a year younger than Noah  He only bit me once or twice, it was flipping painful and I yelled so loud that he never did it again  Now that I've got him down to a reasonable number of feeds per day, I'm enjoying feeding him so going to continue a while longer I think  


Hak, personally I would cut one feed at a time I think. It will be easier for Addi to cope with and also better for your supply; if you cut down too fast you can get engorgement, mastitis, etc - not fun.


----------



## juju81

Hak, lol do I think your crazy? A small age gap was never for me but everyone is different. Some people like to get both over and done with quite quickly. I think minx found it hard but is now glad she had them close together! 


Carrie......sod that ha ha! Each to there own    is Z sleeping any better now?


Noah's so delightful. Such a character. Just wanna get on with tx now am so impatient


----------



## ceci.bee

Hey Hak- I BF'd Joshi until he was 14 months old - but cut from 6 feeds to 2-3 feeds when I went back to work when he was 8 months old. I got him drinking forumla out of a bottle first and then gradually replaced one feed at a time with the bottle until we were down to the first am feed and the evening feed and then first cut the am feed replacing it with cow's milk in a sippy cup (that he still has now) and then the evening feed turned into dinner with milky pudding. He made a bit of a fuss about it but got over that in a couple of days. Good luck with planning another tx, 4 vials should be plenty to get you going. I am keeping everything crossed for you. How have things gone with the BF'ing and your meds and your anxiety? thinking of you often and am sure you are doing a brilliant job

Pipi how exciting you are moving to your forever home, that is great they finally approved the mortgage. I hope you settle in nicely and the business is going well

Ju am not suprised you are impatient for tx, totally normal and keeping everything            it goes smoothly towards a sticky BFP for you guys

Holly ditto - hope your lining behaves this time                

Carrie - when are you going again??
Janah how are you hun??     
AFM not much happening here except more work - we are due back to the UK Feb 2014 but am sooooooo broody I dont know how I can stick it out for that long. It is ironic that it was the IF that made me work really hard at my job to get my current very prestigious one, and now I am itching to come home to TTC again and not so fussed about the job (although it is currently paying all our bills and supporting us generally). J will be 3 in 2014 so it seems a big gap to have, but there is nothing I can do about it as no clinics where we are in Malawi.

lots of love and happy new year to all
Ceci


----------



## juju81

Ceci, if tx works Noah will be nearly 4. My ideal age gap personally. He'll be at nursery every morning so will give me quality baby time and then afternoons spent playing with him. Tht the theory anyway!

2014 isn't that fr away really! Could u not get a cheeky tx in and then come back a couple of months early?


----------



## ceci.bee

Thanks Ju you are right it is not actually that long away and your days of toddler nursery and baby ams make it sound lovely and feel much better after reading ur pst. sadly the flight home for one of us alone is about a grand so sneaky trips back aren't really possble and when my contract is up here I have to go back to the NHS so then would only be entitled to mat leave pay if I put in a fixed number of weeks before announcing any pg, so financially we really have to wait - it is just a pain and I really really want to be having tx! I will have to live vicariously through you guys until then


----------



## hakunamatata

Ceci I can understand your upset you really are stuck aren't you! Why are things so complicated hey.
I am only on 5mg mood stabiliser and 10mg for anxiety so really low and ok for feeding. Will have to come off them for treatment, but feel reassured I was off a year before and ok. Thanks for sharing what you do with Joshua. Back to diet tomorrow, Christmas has been bad doh. Still under what I was when got pg, but ideally wanted to be slimmer when got pg with Addi, hopefully will be a new goal with treatment looming. so pleased about the spermies x


----------



## carrie lou

Ceci, hopefully we will go again at some point this year but not sure exactly when yet. I had in my head that we will TTC again when Z turns 2 which will be May. Fingers crossed.  I am broody too so really feel for you having to wait until next year, but it will be here before you know it. And there is something to be said for slightly larger age gaps I think   


Ju, Z is sleeping much better these days thanks! It's been improving since I weaned him off night feeds. He usually wakes only once a night now and goes back down easily with a cuddle and a sip of water. He has even slept through the night a couple of times which I was starting to think he was biologically incapable of!    


Hak, great to hear that the meds are working out OK and you have been able to breastfeed for this long. I remember you were concerned about it before Addi was born, you've done really well to get this far


----------



## juju81

Cecil you will end up with an age gap Im planning on having, will let you know what it's like      check out my PMA   


Carrie, crumbs girl, suppose you get used to sleepless nights tho, I struggle now when Noah's poorly cos he's been sleeping through since he's 16wks! My friends baby was still waking at 2   


Hak, wouldn't worry about the weight gain. It's Christmas lol I'm on it too


----------



## carrie lou

Yeah i think my body has just adjusted to broken nights cos I feel fine  On the nights when he does sleep through, I wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning panicking that I haven't heard a peep out of him, and have to go check on him before I can get back to sleep  Hopefully he'll be sleeping through consistently before I get pregnant again, then I can at least have a few months of proper sleep before the broken nights start all over again


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hak - I think for me having a small age gap was hard because it was a shock pregnancy and i dont think i ever came to term with it until baby was here     I had quite bad PND and anxiety and mixed with a toddler who found having a little brother really hard, was a recipe for disaster! The first 6 weeks were pretty horrendous with DS1s behaviour towards the baby and me. But now its lovely. It hard but lovely when the baby is laughing at him and DS1 sings songs to him! DS1 is really rough with him and throws things at him    and he knocks him over blah blah blah so i need eyes in the back of my head all the time    but now i'm glad it happened when it did. Its nice to have it out the way, for me anyway. Financially its the pitts!!! Double child care fees    but once DS1 is 3 in september, we will get some of that back and then a year after that he'll be at school!   


Carrie - all i'm going to say is 'ouch'!   


Ceci - enjoy your last year in africa. Sound a wonderful life for Z. Enjoy it while you can and you can look forward to 2014   


Pippi - have you found your forever home?   


AFM - No more tx here thank you!     But i will be busy keeping my eye on the ones that are going through more tx    Baby is 9 mths today!! Where has the time gone!!    I'm back to work in a few weeks,    god knows how thats going to pan out


----------



## juju81

Pmsl, my predictive called ceci Cecil    


Minx, ceci has Joshi, not Z     


Pipping, did you get the paperwork for your forever home. I want a forever home too


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## amandaloo

Hi everyone 

It's been quiet hope you are all ok 

Holly- hope your FET cycle has improved ?

When have you mothers started potty training ? My Mil keeps saying 18 month eeeekkkkk ! Ive been trying to teach him the words wee and poo and when hes doing them I say it . But just can't see it happening yet?


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Amanda, Zac is 19 months and we haven't started potty training yet. I think it varies a lot between children as to when they are ready, but 18 months seems at the younger end of the spectrum! Saying that, Z is very aware these days of when he's doing a wee or poo and will tell me when he's doing them. He also has a small amount of control over his wees. I'm wondering if it's worth starting to put him on the potty once a day or so, or would that just confuse him? I wasn't going to do potty training in earnest until the summer when he'll likely be wearing fewer clothes  As far as I can gather, if you wait until they are ready it will be a lot easier with fewer accidents. Maybe some of the more experienced mummies here can advise us?


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - I keep thinking surely its easier If they can tell you and know what it means and that means them being bit older ? I did read somewhere you are better doing it when you have time off and can concentrate in it for a week . Think that was a hint from a mum on the net . Seems to make sense though dosent it. Yeah summer seems a good plan too x


----------



## pippilongstockings

Personally I would say wait until they can:
1) tell you clearly if they need a wee or poo
2) tell you *before *they do it, not when they have already done it or are in the process of doing it  
3) pull their own pants down
4) show more than a passing interest in using the potty or toilet

From experience I can say that it is sooooo much easier to wait until they are completely ready!


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Pippi. That's kind of what I thought. He tells me when he's actually doing a wee or poo or in some cases just moments before doing a wee. So I think we would end up with an awful lot of accidents if I tried potty training him now! Also he is very uncertain about sitting on the toilet even though I've told him what it's for. Will wait another few months, definitely!


----------



## Lindz

Hiya ladies
Lots of discussion on the twins thread about PT at the moment. Everyone seems to agree with Pippi that the later you do it the quicker and less stressful. Think I'm going to try mine once it gets gets a bit warmer so they can be naked in the garden most of the time  . Probably try them at 2.5 but think DD might e ready earlier. No chance with DS though he does get it. Picked him up to sniff his bum yesterday and he said " me no poo, DD poo, DD stinks". Charming, he was right though


----------



## carrie lou




----------



## juju81

Can I just say on the PT side I have literally these last 3days potty trained Noah and he's 3 in march! I tried him about 2/3months ago and had so many accidents.  This time he's just done it. We've had no wee accidents......poos are still tricky but of wait. Minx will prob come on an tell u about hers but DS1 decide himself he was ready a few months after his 2nd birthday! It's very unusual for them to be trained before they are 2!

I got stressed and upset about.  Try not to be disheartened when others around you start getting theyres potty traine before you


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

This week C has started telling me when he is doing a wee in his nappy - at least I think he is as he suddenly stops doing something and says wee wees over and over a few times and then goes back to what he is doing.

I am not going to try yet as we still have a few accidents as soon as the nappy is off.

As for my FET - all abandoned for a couple of months. The HCG trigger, twice a day buserelin and another provera bleed had no effect     - my lining on day 6 on Tuesday was 7.5mm, I had 10 follicles in development and one was already 17mm   
In some ways I am pleased that my ovaries are still really active at 41 years old, but in another I can't have my frosty back in this situation. They don't know if they are cysts of follicles now, so the clinic want me to have a bleed on withdrawal of buserelin, and then have another bleed naturally and go to the clinic for a scan on day 2. The consultant will read my notes in the mean time and decide if I can do a natural, unmedicated transfer. I have no problems with making a thick lining - mine goes up to at least 14mm on a natural cycle and with C it was over 16mm.
The problem is that they want a thin lining to start which I never seem to achieve on my own.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

yeah id wait until the are over 2. I wasnt going to do DS1 until Dec last yr but in oct he was putting his hand down his pooey nappy    so i gave him potty time once a day for an hour for a few weeks. Then i turned it up a notch and started doing for longer then i sent him into nursery with his pants on    then from that day he was dry. Taking it slow really worked. I asked him every morning if he wanted nappy or pants and let him choose. 


Boys tend to be later with PT than girls.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

holly sorry your tx was cancelled


----------



## juju81

Holly that's pants    When will that be then? March/April?


----------



## carrie lou

Argh, so sorry Holly. You will get there in the end I'm sure


----------



## ceci.bee

Holly gutted for you hun            and           for March

re PT - we tried a while a go but it was too early and we had too many accidents so are waiting until he turns 2 then trying again. I think giving him the choice of nappy or pants is a really good one - here everyone either seems to do gina ford and do it in a week or take ages adn think am going to be one of the latters but want him to feel comfortable about it and do it in his own time, which he will do.

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## juju81

Ceci, I went with Noah....I think because he's that bit older he's just 'got' it. Still early days and I need to sort the pooing out.  It's so much easier with nappies lol


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

urrgghh no!! I hate nappies now!


Ceci - i read a book called potty training for boys. Its basically do it at their pace. I thought id do GF but didn't


----------



## juju81

Yeah but you don't have to keep taking them to the loo! Wait til you in a restaurant about to eat dinner "mummy I need a wee"


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- really sorry to hear that :-( it must be upsetting . Big hugs xx 

Thanks for all advice about PT ladies . I thought the MIL was being a bit early saying 18 months just hope she dosent go on about it ! 

Going for nurse consultation next Tuesday


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

juju81 said:


> Yeah but you don't have to keep taking them to the loo! Wait til you in a restaurant about to eat dinner "mummy I need a wee"


You know we don't do restaurants


----------



## juju81

Yeah me neither to be honest!! Try not to anyway haha. But I've seen people doing it lol


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I am going to have some interesting journeys to and from work!
C is announcing to me when he is doing a wee this week and a few times it has been on the train. In the morning not too bad as we are in the toilet carriage - it has the disabled bit where I can put the buggy. On the way home there are about 3 million people! Hummm -'' wee wee mummy '' in a crowded train will not be fun.

I saw one lady on a train to Cardiff, when I was going there for a viva exam, take a potty out and the child did a wee and a poo in the aisle.
Her kids were called Sky and Cloud and she also was breastfeeding them both and they must have been 2 and 4. I have to say I stopped revising for a while and moved seats.

WooooHooo   - C has another tooth! He has only had 6 up until now - 2 at the bottom and 4 at the top. I was expecting the next two bottom ones - but we have an upper first molar coming through. I was wondering if were were ever going to get any more -


----------



## juju81

Sky and cloud    I'm surprised she didn't save it in a bag for compost   


Ah bless C. My sisters youngest didnt get one until she was 23months old. Not one. She had been referred to the hospital to see if there were actually any in her gums    she has the most beautiful teeth ever


----------



## spooks

> I'm surprised she didn't save it in a bag for compost


    
just popping on to say huge congrats to NM on the birth of her daughter   
i'm not on here much anymore but i have a peep at this thead now and again - lots happening with more tx's for lots of people so all the best everyone     
sorry your cycle was cancelled holly  
I'm going through what can only be likened to a bit of post traumatic stress - fertility issues have been a major part of my life for the last 5/6 years, and now we're accepting the journey is over and we're a lovely family of four, the enormity of what we went through to get to this stage in our lives is hitting me.   i'm sure it's normal but i didn't expect it to feel like this - it's almost like i'm missing all the appointments and stress - very odd  
dd's are both doing really well and are wonderful little people
anyway - just wanted to say all the best everyone   and i hope 2013 brings you all you want


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I can understand that spooks.   I don't think I had that but u do know what you mean  

Holly get a travel potty for the train. I use ours. I'd use it on a train. I don't care what people think.


----------



## carrie lou

Spooks   lovely to hear from you. I can understand what you mean about post traumatic stress. Glad to hear your little girls are both well.   


Holly - yesterday Zac told me in the swimming pool that he was doing a wee  Oh well, that's what chlorine is for, right?  My mum likes to tell the story of the first time she took me and my sister on a plane; my sister (still in nappies) stood in the middle of the aisle and announced very loudly to the whole plane that she was doing a poo.   My mum was rather embarrassed. Yay for Charley getting another tooth  


Ladies I'm seriously considering being an egg sharer ... I found out this week that my clinic have just started egg sharing scheme and it would be cheaper for me than IUI, with better success rates. What do you think? I would so love to help someone the way we've all been helped, and there is a very good chance of getting baby No 2 at the end of it as well


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I think it is a wonderful idea Carrie - if I were your age I would do it. Just have to remember that you will have to cope if the recipient has a baby then what feelings does that bring? Especially if your cycle is not successful?
And how zac will feel if his sibling is out there and comes knocking on the door in 18 years. Might be a lot to get your head around, but if you can do it then that is fantastic. It would bring so much happiness to another couple as we all know.   

Charley has been doing that extra effort breathing, kind of does a little huh at the end of each breath - very quiet and only noticeable by me when we cuddle and he's wanting lots of cuddles. He does this when he is coming down with something.
Someone's child at play group yesterday burnt up in front of our eyes towards the end of the session and we all thought she looked peeky. The lady took her home and texted around everyone later to say her temp was 40.1 degrees.

C was looking a bit droopy eyed in the high chair at lunch and slept looking very pale down with the horses this morning. Just checked his temp and it is 38.1 degrees.   I have too much to do at work tomorrow clinically and setting up for interviews and on Tues/Wed we are interviewing a load of people for a job and I have to be there. Hope it is just teething.


----------



## carrie lou

Oh dear Holly, I hope Charley is OK.    


You make some very good points re. egg sharing. But Z almost certainly has many half siblings already (in USA) so I don't think it would make a lot of difference to him. If the recipient's child wanted to find me one day then I would just have to cope with it. The only thing I would find hard is if the recipients got pregnant and I didn't - that would be very upsetting  so perhaps I would not want to know straight away if the recipient is successful or not. They make you have counselling anyway before you can donate so I'm sure I would have plenty of time to think these things over.


I think I will ring the clinic for a chat - eeek!


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie- go for it )) sounds exciting Must be lovely to give something to another couple who are desperate to have a family ..i'd love to do it But im too old :-/ .IVF isn't as bad as what you might think. Let us know what the clinic say wont you x 

Spooks -  hello nice to hear from you . I can imagine what you mean it plays such a massive part in our lives for so long  and it can take it out of you in many ways . We are all here if you need us x


----------



## ceci.bee

Yay Carrie go for it hun that is v exciting. I hope to do the same when we get back and am hoping I won't be too old (36) we shall see

Holly hope C is feeling better today and you get everything you need to get done. Being a working mum is seriously hard work on the best of days but when LO is feeling ill it is doubly stressful.

llots of love to all
Ceci


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Ceci - to be an egg sharer you have to have completed your donation cycle before your 36th birthday. You must be 35 or younger.

No Charley has had proper flu I think - it has been rife in the hospital lately so I would not be surprised. I obviously don't have a viral swab to prove it, but he was pale Sunday morning and then had a little temperature. By the night he was shivering and his temperature was over 40 degrees. Rivers of green snot and watery eyes. He wanted to lay on me. But I was not too worried as he was having episodes of playing and I could raise a smile. He did eat and drink a bit. I had to call in sick with him on Monday and my DH has had to stay home the last 2 days. (turn up for the book on that one) Off to do more interviews in a minute. Just noticed a very  leaky nappy. Hope he has not got diarrhoea now


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ahh poor charley


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## carrie lou

Yeah Ceci most clinics want you to be 35 or under to egg share - maybe there are some exceptions though? I hope so for your sake   


Holly, I saw on another thread you mentioned your DH had looked after Charley for the day - what a turn around! I too would forgive the backwards nappy     to Charley, hope he's feeling better soon.


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## juju81

Holly that's what Noah had beginning of December. It's awful, we then had sickness and diarrhoea and then I got a throat virus!


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## amandaloo

Get well soon Charley x


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## JanaH

Holly hope Charley gets better soon.


Ju do you know when you start your cycle?


Carrie Go for it 


We went skiing in France for New year, Joseph loved playing in the snow. Hopefully when we go next he would be able to ski himself. I was in accident on the slopes, someone skiied me over. Had whiplash and sore and bruised muscles luckily nothing was broken. 
It seems like it might be a busy her for me/us... I decided to start a small business making homemade mustard and selling it at farm stall and nurseries and I emailed surrogacy UK this morning. Will do my application soon to become a surrogate.
I'm off to look at another nursery for Joseph, which is closer to home. At the moment he is at the on site nursery at the hospital I work, but on my annual leave days or say sick days (like now where I wasn't suppose to drive) I still have to take him which is a good 1hr round trip.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yeah that's the problem with having the nursery near work. Much better near home where you can roll out of bed and they're there. Wow so you are really going to do surrogacy


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## juju81

Janah, wow that is such an amazing thing to do for someone    when will you start? Will you not have more tx yourself? My sister was in meribel for new year. Did you take anyone with you? I'd love to take Noah, but is there enough for him to do and did you skiing on your own? Questions questions   


We're hoping to start next month, about a month from now    the sperm is ready to be shipped but were waiting for finance at Shirley oaks to sort out the payment  and the HFEA to approve the licence to use it.


I'm getting nervous now. It's affecting my sleeping. I didn't want to feel like this again    I was hoping there wouldn't be so much pressure but I so want another one.  I can't believe I'd be so lucky for it to work again so easily.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Just calm down


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## juju81

I know. I need to. I need someone to slap me round the face and tell me to get a grip!


----------



## carrie lou

Aw Juju. I think it's normal to feel like this. I'm sure I would. Do something fun to take your mind off it


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## JanaH

Ju - we went to Reberty in the 3 Valleys. It was amazing... We booked a nanny for Joseph on the days we skied, she took him sledging and playing in the snow, our chalet had a swimming pool and a small play area for kids in reception. We were 4 couples that stayed in two chalets, me and hubby skied for only 3 days as we decided it's a holiday for the 3 of us and thought it's unfair to ski everyday. There was a snow castle for the kids to play on. 


We can't afford treatment for ourselves at the moment as we need to do start from scratch. I'm still paying for last years FET.  The whole process will take a while I think at least 3 or 4 months. Would give me time to loose some weight    Just hope the fact that I took anti D won't be a problem (don't take them anymore).


You'll be fine ju, just take it one day at a time


----------



## ceci.bee

Thanks Holly I will be 36 by the time we have more tx, but I have some frozen eggs from when I was 31 - maybe I can negotiate something with them..........we had our clinic's price list for 2012 (and will go by am sure by 2014) and 1400 for IUI and 8K incl drugs for IVF eeek have to save madly and cancel some holidays to even think about paying for that so have to find ways to bring the costs down...............
I hope Charley is better now - am dreading all the viruses J will get when we get back to the UK and he goes into nursery......

Ju      and           

Janah wow that is an amazing thing to do, I hope it all works out for you guys and am sure the anti-d's shouldn't be a problem

lots of love to all and enjoy the snow with your LOs

Ceci


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## juju81

£1400 for IUI     my clinic charge £500


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## carrie lou

Mine charge £800 for IUI. And IVF is £3000-4000 depending on drugs. Wonder if it's worth shopping around?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Donor sperm at my clinic is £850 per vial on top of IUI or IVF and when we had IVF it was £3000 for the IVF - then they add the HFEA fee plus drugs - I go them on private RX and it was £800, plus about £200 for progesterone to 12 weeks if you are pregnant.
Now craftily the clinic have added £300 for sedation for the egg collection on top and £125 for the 7 week scan - which were included before. Very crafty way of putting prices up on the sly!

Plus we had ICSI which is reduced to half price for donor sperm users but still £500 and we froze embryos £500 and last time we cultured them to blastocyst which was another £500 for the extra 2 days in the lab. Initial consultation after you have a break of more than a year is £300, then there are blood tests - another £150 even if done though the GP. If you need any oestradiol levels done it is £32 and extra scans £125 each.

It adds up.

Update on C - his temp was 39.8 again last night and breath stinks, lymph nodes up. Took him to GP and he has tonsilitis. On antibiotics now. So hopefully on the mend. Another day off work for me though today.

Could not believe the panic buying in ASDA - no milk whatsoever!!! when you have a baby who can't swallow food at the moment and milk is all they want this is worrying. I have managed to get some now, but I have ended up with a tin of apatmil powder toddler milk just in case.


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## hakunamatata

Ours charge 500 for sperm, 300 for drugs and 600 iui. I rang and booked an appointment and she said we have 4 reserved. Hopefully that will be enough. X 

Hope charley is better, glad hubby is helping out tho x 

Cecil why does everything come down to money hey. x 

Ju hope you can  get going soon x 

Cant believe Addi is one soon x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Addi - one already - I cannot believe it - it feels like 2 minutes ago we were welcoming her - but then again how did my little man get to be nearly 19 months old?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

carrie its probably 8K for ICSI not bog standard IVF. We were quoted 3-4k for IVF then it doubled with add ons and then ICSI   


Ju -


----------



## amandaloo

Aya

Our clinic ivf 2895 not including drugs which are about 800- 1000 ? FET - 1320 plus 229 for drugs . Ceci 8000 seems a lot I agree with MMini must be for ICSI that quote? 

How's the snow ladies ? Not much in Lancs yet !

Juju- it is exciting , I couldn't sleep before my nurse consult x
Holly can't believe the panic buying milk ridiculous ! Hope Charley gets better soon x


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## carrie lou

I know ICSI is more but i'm sure it's still not as much as 8k at my clinic. My clinic seem to do a package deal for IVF that includes sedation for EC, early pg scan or follow up consult, etc.. I'm sure they still find ways to get a bit more out of you though  So sad that it all comes down to £££ for us ladies. but if I start to dwell on the unfairness I'll send myself   


We have quite a bit of snow here  I took Z outside to play in it earlier. He wasn't sure what to think! It's the first time he's seen snow really. We don't tend to get much here. The last time it snowed properly he was a 20 week bump  My grocery delivery arrived on time this morning, was very impressed they made it down our road which hasn't been gritted. It's still snowing heavily now so might take him out again in a bit.


Hak - wow, Addi nearly one  Do you have plans for her birthday?   


Holly - get well soon Charley


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## hakunamatata

Yes Carrie I've hired a hall and some soft play equipment. Hubby is 40 the day after.

Addi is feeding on solids much better now and is only breastfed morning and night with one bottle in the day. And she slept through last night, long may it continue. It's been wired not feeding her in the night, all change but she's cooed brilliantly x


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## carrie lou

Yay Hak  Hope it continues


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## juju81

Tht £500 includes sperm, scans and clomid is something stupid like £9! Bit of a bargain! When I had tx with Noah it was only £425   

My AF arrived today so going by my Calendar should have IUI before the end of feb   

Holly hope the drugs kick in for C bless him!

Carrie Noah didn't want to go outside in it today apparently!

Hak wowzers, 1! The next year goes even quicker! Noah's 3 in 2 months time


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - my egg transfer will be about end of feb if cycle goes ok  ! We might be 2 ww together


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## juju81

Amanda fingers crossed....I'm looking at it being around 26/27


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## ceci.bee

Yay Hak that is the start of a new wonderful time when the baby sleeps through - go Addi! 

Amanda and Ju that is great news             to both of you

thanks all for sharing the prices at your clinics - it is amazing how much variety it is. Ours really is 8K for IVF incl drugs    an extra £1K for ICSI and more for blastocyst and assisted hatching etc - they have great success rates and are in london so can get away with charging that much, and now my eggs are frozen there it is too much hassle to move things around, we just have to find a money tree somewhere..............

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Which clinic is that in London? ARGC is not even that much. I am at the London Women's clinic Harley Street and it much lower, although it has gone up over the years.

Egg thawing, fertilisation and transfer cycle is only £2300 plus tests and screening at my clinic.

I'd be interested to know whether the success rates are so much higher and what the costs include.


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## ceci.bee

No worries Holly - I can send you the document they sent us - PM me your email address. The costs include all the blood tests, scans, drugs etc and we know we can get some of it cheaper. For our cycle of ICSI to make Joshi with my frozen eggs we paid inthe end around 10K. We are at the CRGH and they consistently quote success rates of >50% per cycle <35 and around 40% 35-39 yrs.

lots of love and hugs to all
Ceci


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## paws18

Bookmarking now I found youz. 
Paws18


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## carrie lou

Hi ladies, hope you are all OK, it's been so quiet on here!


I took the plunge this week and phoned my clinic to talk about egg sharing   I have to fill in a form and post it back to them then they will arrange an appointment for blood tests etc. Eek! I can't believe how emotional I feel about it - scared, excited, nervous all at the same time. I just keep looking at Zac and thinking if I can have another one just like him, what a lucky mummy I will be. I just hope we can be lucky again


----------



## juju81

Aww good luck carrie   


My friggin licence application wasn't heard at the January meeting. Means we can't have tx now until may (holiday commitments    ) so annoyed. Our spermies is arriving at the clinic next weds tho


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## amandaloo

Juju- massive hugs hope your feeling ok it's just not fair when your let down like that :-(

I've had to cancel my Prestim appt tommorow as I'm super late on my period . Rebooked fôr this Thursday just hoping af comes before then :-//


----------



## carrie lou

Aw Juju that's rubbish  I guess you just have to enjoy your holiday and get all relaxed before you start!


Amanda - come on AF!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Oh Juju - that is pants having to wait til May - but the way the months go it will be here soon. Just use the time to chill and take your vitamins, eat healthy food etc.

Amanda - sorry to hear about AF. After my abandoned FET I stopped buserelin beginning of Jan and only just got AF again yesterday. So much for the nurse saying I would get it in a week - more like a month and I have to wait another month now to go for a scan.   

Carrie - good luck with egg sharing. It is a fab thing to do and will give you a great chance. Just wish I was younger.

AFM - battling Hand Foot and Mouth this week. (nursery illness caused by coxsackie virus, not the foot and mouth in cattle).
Flu and tonsilitis in C 3 weeks ago and this last week. More time off work. My boss is not happy and suggested that perhaps I should not have another baby!   

C had temp on Monday and then rash Thursday. So called out of work twice by nursery - was only in work for 1.5 days this week and did a bit at home.   

Biggest   though is that I caught it! I had flu like symptoms with high temp on Thursday night, excruitatingly painful tonsils with ulceration and pus, could hardly swallow. Then felt really rough on Friday. Still had to look after C though (DH's response to me nearly being in tears and asking how I would cope was to say ''you don't seriously expect me to take the day off too''), so laid on sofa with one eye open trying to rest. 
That went away yesterday, apart from the very sore throat and I felt able to go out again. But  then I got a rash started on my elbows and now on both hands and one foot. I feel like I have picked a bunch of nettles with bare hands and have tiny blisters on my fingers. My throat is still very painful.

Also two deaths in the family this week - my aunt and my DH's uncle passed away. The same week as my mother passed away 13 years ago.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

sounds horrific  

Your boss has no right to suggest you don't have anymore. What an ****!!


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## Lindz

Holly. DH got HFM when the twins had it last year. It's much worse in adults apparently so really fell for you. Hope you have a better week this week!

Sorry to hear about the delay Ju! Hope the time goes quickly. 

Hiya everyone. More snow here today. DS cried for the first time in ages going into nursery cos he thought DH and I were going sledging without him!


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## juju81

Holly that's pants. HFM was rife here a few yrs ago.  I love u clarification that it wasn't the animal one   funny thing is if never have thought that's what u meant   your DH   and your boss   I just can't believe your DH wouldn't help you out  

I went for a lush spa day yesterday with my friend, when I got in nick was literally just putting Noah to bed. He told me daddy was his best friend  

Amanda, when r u likely to have treatment then? I shoul know by now the world of fertility never runs to plan  it was a whole year ago I starts my complaint


----------



## amandaloo

Holly- that's bloomin terrible your boss can't say that !! Hope you feel better soon . Its so hard looking after little ones when your ill :-(( . I would have been upset if my dh said that I hope your ok xxx

Carrie- let us know how you get on with the egg sharing x

Juju- I started tx on 28th jan I'm downregging at moment but my period late   so it could delay the next part 

Afm-Just spoke to nurse at clinic she said the meds can delay period but it could mean I have a cyst on ovary too which Which ill have to have drained if I have:-/ ewwww not looking forward to that if I have great!! Anyway I've since found out my friend had a cyst and she didn't need it draining . Gonna think positive nothing I can do til Thursday now


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Yeah - I started DR in October last year (as you know) and the cyst that formed then despite all that extra DR and the ovitrelle has only now gone and I got my AF on Saturday.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Hope your all well ? 

Juju- Hope Noah ok that looked a nasty cut :-/ 

Holly- hope your better and C is better too 

Lindz- just wanted to say Hello 

I started my af very late on tuesday Been for scan today and there are no cysts phewwww. So got to go back on Monday as my lining was too thick today to plan the next stage . All good though


----------



## hakunamatata

Amanda that's fantastic news, hope tomorrow goes well. How many are you having put back?

So holly will you be trying again soon, hope you're all well. We'be had 4 weeks of sickness, addi even missed her own party, was very surreal being there without her but had hired and paid for hall and soft play equipment. She still isn't quite right, the croup cough is lingering. 

Ju are you starting soon, hoping for a buddy. I got af last night so think that makes today day 1 so start injecting tues. I'm hoping to book a spa day tomorrow once I know when first scan is. Mum and I are going, hoping it chills me for treatment. X 

Love to all. Keep posting I love reading your news


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## juju81

Hak, sorry to hear Addison hasn't been well. And to miss her party    Noah was poorly on his first birthday too was really sad. Has she got croup? Noah's had that a few times too. It's horrid   


No, not starting yet. Have decided to start April, so about another 6wks for me. Hopefully by that point your'll be preg


----------



## hakunamatata

i like your thinking ju, please let that be true. tho will miss you as a buddy. 
yes she had croup, then a uti. poor mite, but could always be worse, temps were scarey in 41 s, which worried me after seeing poor sweetdreams posts re convulsions.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

We spent Charley's first birthday evening in the paediatric ward of the hospital being assessed for a nasty temperature and fast breathing. Doc thought he had pneumonia so sent us to hospital, but it turned out to be tonsilitis and we were sent home on antibiotics.
That was also after me having to call 999 for my Dad the day before and he was in same hospital too. Grrrr!
Hope Addi is better now and treatment is good to you.


----------



## carrie lou

Hakuna, sorry to hear Addi was ill for her birthday  What bad luck. Hope she is on the mend. Very good luck with your treatment. Are you having DIUI again?     


Hope everyone else is well  


AFU - all fine, Zac is talking so much these days, it's so lovely to hear. He is a real little chatterbox. I have been offered a part time job   which I'm very pleased about. Been looking for a childminder and I've found two lovely ones within walking distance of our house. My mum will look after him one day a week. I'm seeing the GP this week to try to organise blood tests prior to egg sharing. Very exciting. I will most likely be having treatment in the summer


----------



## ceci.bee

Hi Hakuna so sorry that Addi has been poorly           hope she and you are recovering now    in my experience kids bounce back much faster than the parents after an experience like that 

Carrie how exciting that is fab for you  

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Hi all,

Well 8weeks since Dd#3 arrived and I've finally found a minute to post.  Can't believe my newborn is almost 2 months old.  It's pretty tough going but she's my last baby so I'm trying to enjoy every minute.  Daytime is toughest because she'll only sleep on me, but you know what, I don't care! Again, it's the last time I'll get to have baby cuddles so I'm making the most of them. And she's fab at night - feeds then straight back to sleep so I haven't had the exhaustion that I remember with the other two girls. Oops, someone is wriggling awake, gotta go already! 

Good luck to those of you cy ling or waiting to and hello to everyone else!

xx


----------



## ceci.bee

NM that sounds so lovely, 2 months already and a whole family - you are a lucky lady. I hope so much one day I am posting like you   I love your attitude to your baby with 2 others running around, I hope they are being helpful.

good luck for all having tx, hoping this time next year I might be joining you ............          

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nm ds2 is nearly 11 mths    the time flies. Ds2 was the same at night. Feed then sleep. He's so easy it's untrue.


----------



## northernmonkey

Ceci - I know it sounds cliched but I feel so blessed. I love having 3 children, my family finally feels complete - sorry another cliche   I just wish I could stop the clock because I don't want them to grow up! The older two girls have adapted brilliantly to the baby and give her lots of cuddles - very sweet. I've no doubt that you will be posting in future about Joshi's baby brother or sister. And it will come round before you know it... 

Mini - 11 months!!! Can't believe it! Is Samuel good sleep wise during the day too? Dd slept through last night, she's managed that maybe 4 or 5 times so fingers crossed it becomes a more regular event. I'm trying to get out and about as much as possible during the day because she sleeps so much better when we're not at home. I don't think it's helped that I've always had to wake her for the school run, play groups etc so she's never been able to settle into a routine.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Yes he's a really good sleeper. Day and night. I just put him down with his muslin and he rolls over and goes to sleep    Slept through from 12wks and not had him up since.   if he does wake he goes straight off after a cuddle or medicine. He actually wants to sleep. He doesn't fight it. 
We have no clue a tooth is coming  Until he's grizzly one day and the tooth is already there   
I don't have the school run so have been lucky. 

I have a confession   I'd like another but age and money wise is a no no.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Lucas is becoming more aware of the donor situation. He loves his story. And calls his action men  the 'donor'


----------



## ceci.bee

That is so sweet Mini     awww


----------



## northernmonkey

Wow mini, you're so lucky to have one who has been such a good sleeper from early on. Mine is so weird, I can put her down at night awake and she'll go over no problem, it's just during the day.   I wouldn't let age put you off having another, I'll be 40 this year and i don't feel any different to when I had dd#1 at 32.  I do sometimes think about how old I'll be when I'm still doing primary school drop off(!) but to be honest younger mums seem to be in the minority down here so I don't feel like an older mother. As for the financial side, you've had one natural pregnancy, you could hope for another?? I don't think the broodiness ever totally disappears. I still felt envious when I heard that one of the mums from school had gone into labour today.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

You lucky people with sleepers!

C sometimes sleeps through, but won't go to bed early, and just recently, since we both had that virus has tossed and turned, even sometimes pulls my hair and pokes me,  and drops his dummy out of bed for effect, for about an hour before he will sleep. He sometimes won't settle and wants me to sleep next to him or wakes in the night hysterical. 

I feel like I must have somehow done it all wrong.  

But then I never slept in my own bed until I was 4 and my mum never got me to settle in a cot. She tried everything, would creep from the room and I would wake when she was at the top of the stairs. I used to fall asleep, head on her lap on the sofa and be carried up. Quickly they abandoned the cot, because I would turn sideways in it and get stuck. Then it was blanket clips in a single bed that I used to fight.


----------



## juju81

Nice to hear from u NM  

Holly, I don't think it's anything you've done? I'm assuming you've tried to get him to sleep in his own bed? Not just given in? I've been lucky with Noah really. He's an early riser but sleeps from 7 until 6/6.30. Even if he's had a late sleep he'll still go down at 7! Babies/children are all so different. It's never to late to be firm mummy and get him back in his bed hun xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Holly, you have done nothing wrong.  It really annoys me that those of us with so called bad sleepers are made to feel we have failed in some way. There is a lot of evidence to say that frequent wakings are biologically normal in babies and young children and can even be a good thing (protects against SIDS early on). Those who sleep through at an early age are the exception, not the norm. As for wanting to sleep close to you - also normal! Imagine when we were cave people. If you left your baby sleeping unattended there was a risk it would be taken by a predator. So is it any wonder babies want to sleep close to mummy? It's their instinct to survive. Why should we feel bad about meeting our babies' need for closeness, reassurance and security? I don't. 


I'm not saying it's easy, especially when you have a job to go to, your dad to look after, housework to do, etc. far from easy. But rest assured you are doing a fantastic job.


And you are certainly not alone. As you know Zac never slept more than 3 hours in a row until he was 19 months old  and has only slept through on a handful of occasions. Right now he typically wakes once a night, at around midnight, and wants a cuddle and for me to stay with him while he goes back to sleep. I won't ignore him when he wakes in the night wanting mummy, so I am happy to go to him. After the 4-5 night wakings we had previously. I really don't mind being disturbed once a night! If there comes a time when I can't cope with this anymore, or start to resent it, then I will do something about it.


Sorry that turned into rather a long post! I just wanted to dispel some of these myths that babies should be sleeping through ASAP, self settling etc. Great if your baby does it, but if not, there is no need to feel bad or that you have done something wrong.


----------



## juju81

Don't get me wrong, Noah will still wake some nights, especially recently for a wee! It's also impossible to ignore him if he does wake anyway    It's totally up to each parent how they wish to deal with it. If you are (not you specifically, I mean in general) are happy/don't mind having your baby/child coming into your bed etc etc then who is anyone else to say its wrong.  I know, for me and my hubby, we weren't prepared to have Noah sleeping in our bed. Luckily for us he hated being in our bed anyway and more or less slept through at 4months.  Had he not, I would have done controlled crying (which was needed now and again) or anything else that was suggested to make him understand bed time was for sleeping in his own bed


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Holly    youve done nothing wrong hun. everyones different in what they are prepared to put up with.   


I wish i had the answer to why samuel is such a good sleeper. Hes very different to DS1, but i am more relaxed with everything. I could never have any of them sleep with me as i cant sleep with them in the same room as it was. I ended up on anti d's with sleep dep with DS1 so wasnt prepared to put up with a bad sleeper again. Luckily i didnt have to do anything. The only thing i did do different was put him to sleep on his tummy as that is what he wanted and give him a muslin from birth for a comfort blanket which he loves. 
I also stopped the dream feed at 12 wks which is when he slept through from. I read they dont need it and it disturbs their natual sleep pattern. I actually believe this is why DS1 was a funny sleeper, apart from the horrible dummy situ we had   


So you see ive been on both sides of the coin. But i wont feel guilty for having a good baby either   


NM no i wont be having anymore babies. DH has sorted out his bit of contraception    We really couldnt afford it and I dont want the stress of TTC, if i did become pg natually i would have to have a CVS test again because of DHs chromosomal problem, and if it came out the baby had a unbalanced thing (cant think of the name) then we would have to terminate    so i am more than happy and grateful for my boys and like waiting for friends to have babies. Its nice for them to grow up and to move on a bit. 


If it was 10 yrs ago and rich    then i probably would have another


----------



## hakunamatata

It's funny that you mention sleeping and feeling like a bad mum today, I have just come from addi review and feel just the same and it depressing me I'm going to fail with another. All this milk from tippy cup self soothing don't pick up in the night. Sorry girls I've got a bad back at mo too, always happens when I loose weight. Addi solids can be a challenge. She's such a wee one, still under 8 kg.


----------



## hakunamatata

It is reassuring not to be alone in these feelings tho. X


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## juju81

Noah never had milk from a tippy cup. Still has milk from a bottle. Drinks water from a cup tho but refused point blank for milk from a cup  I'm not sure I'd do anything different next time around apart from have him in his f room pretty much straight away, we all slept better once he was in his own room at 3wks. I'd do controlled crying again too. Everyone has their own limits as to what they will do. For a bit of controlled crying we ended up with a baby that slept through and that really helped our sanity. My friends baby didnt sleep through until 2. She just came to accept it and dealt with it. She was however a lot stronger with her 2nd and had no problems getting him to sleep!

Hak, when are you hoping to start next tx? I've decided to start April after all


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## hakunamatata

I've started. First scan Monday. X


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## juju81

Oooooh, FET? I can't see ur sig when I'm replying!


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## juju81

What will the age gap be? Just seen u had IUi!


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## hakunamatata

Yes iui again. Addi only just a year. Guess it depends when and if successful. I'm 38 next week so time important and won't do Ivf again


----------



## juju81

Well fingers crossed   when is insem likely?


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## juju81

Have u a limit on how many goes your'll try?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I was/would be too scared to leave in own room on own before 6 months. If the baby died of SIDS I would always wonder if I had followed guidelines ........


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## juju81

I'm of the opinion, if god forbid something happens its going to happen. Most SIdS cases if u look in depth actually had underlying health issues.  I don't understand how having a baby sleeping in your room will stop them passing away?  Noah also slept on his tummy from 3wks. Something the HV/docs weren't keen on but said if that's the only way he'll sleep then so be it. He still sleeps in his tummy now. In the olden days we were. They only advised to change when it was brought to light about Anne diamonds son.  I think they wanted a cause for it and that's what they said could have caused it


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## carrie lou

I think it's advised to keep them in your room in the early months because of something to do with your breathing  helping to regulate theirs. In a room where other people are sleeping there will be a slightly higher concentration of carbon dioxide (which we exhale) and that acts as a stimulant to make the baby breathe. I could be wrong but that is how I understood it. Plus of course if they are rigt next to your bed it is easier to check on them frequently. At 6 months the risk of SIDS starts to drop markedly so it becomes less of a worry.


They did a case control study that showed sleeping on tummy is linked to SIDS. But I agree with you Ju, when we were babies it was actually thought safer to put babies on their tummies! I think on an individual level it probably makes very little difference, it is only when you look at very large numbers of babies that you can see the risk of sleeping on  tummy.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

That is true Carrie what you said and your reasoning.

If the baby is in trouble, you will be more likely to notice and also your breathing will regulate theirs.

I never thought of the CO2 side, but yes that would make biological sense. The normal respiratory centre in the brain is stimulated by higher CO2 levels in the blood as you breathe more to expel CO2 to keep the blood pH normal, (CO2 makes carbonic acid in the blood and the body wants to regulate this) which has the fab effect of at the same time increasing your O2 levels necessary for life.

If they have to generate all their own CO2, their levels might be slightly lower than if they were breathing CO2 rich air. This could mean more respiratory pauses while the baby's blood CO2 levels rise and the pH drops to stimulate the respiratory centre. In the mean time the baby's O2 levels drop dangerously low. Sleep apnoea is the correct term.

Tummy sleeping is thought to increase SIDS because you need to be slightly arousable to get yourself out of trouble if there is a cardiorespiratory crisis, like having your mouth and nose in vomit. When sleeping on the tummy when too weak to move, even if fully awake, you run a higher risk of not waking enough to raise the alarm or remove the danger as they sleep more deeply on the tummy and again CO2 is eliminated more efficiently in the prone position. You should also oxygenate better prone, but only if you actually breathe!


----------



## juju81

Thanks for the explanation! I got a bit lost with all the CO2 Holly!    The statistics are 0.5% of your baby dying of SIDS from sleeping in their tummy. There are othe factors that contribute and as neither me or nick smoke, have underlying health issues we took that risk & Noah's nearly 3 and perfectly fine. They cant ctagorically say sleeping on your tunmy causes it. i think they are looking to pin it on something because they actually dont know. some info i wa reading were of parents who had lost babies to sids and had put them on there back AND with no health issues. they just look to blame it on something.  You can't spend your whole night keep rolling your child back over because they find it more comfortable to lie on their tummys  the professionals just said make sure he has his face to the side. I mean u could say sleeping on your back and being sick is dangerous. Your'll end up choking to death on vomit  like everything, you do what you feel is right for your baby (and sanity)

Holly, what's happening with your tx?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Samuel used to get to sleep on his tummy then I used to turn him back. 

Mummies are made to feel bad for doing this but once one admits to it then you find a lot actually do it. 

I spoke to the hv about them being in their own room and they thought it was a good idea. Samuel was in his room from 3 days old   

I used to put them upstairs from 7pm. Again hv thought this was a great idea.


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## carrie lou

I think it is pretty uncommon to find just one reason or explanation for a baby dying of SIDS. Like to said Ju, there are lots of factors involved.


In the study I mentioned, they looked at groups of babies who slept on their tummies and groups who slept on their backs and there was a higher incidence of SIDS among the tummy sleepers. So obviously there is something about tummy sleeping that puts them at higher risk. After the Back to Sleep campaign, I think the incidence of SIDS reduced quite a lot so clearly it does make a difference on a population level. Of course this doesn't mean if you put your baby on their tummy that they will die of SIDS. And sometimes a parent can do everything by the book and the baby still tragically dies.  You have to do what feels right for you.


Zac sleeps on his tummy a lot but only started doing so after he could roll over himself, because I always used to put him on his back to start with  I figured once he could turn over by himself, it would be safe enough and like you said I couldn't spend the whole night turning him back again


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## juju81

I remember looking after my niece when she was a baby and my sister never told me she slept on her tummy (she was about one) and I literally spent the whole night flipping her back over. When I told my sister the next day she said "oh yeah, she sleeps on her tummy'    


I'm off out tonight for a date night with hubby. Brighton, grub and comedy club. Can't wait


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Once C could turn over at 5 months he would immediately flip over. I tried turning him back, but could not sit up all night. The HV said if you find them on the tummy turn them back but don't get up specifically to check this. He would sleep though some nights once on tummy. Once they are strong enough to lift their heads it makes a difference to safety.


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## juju81

Noah had fab head control straight away. Even the HV comments on it. He could roll back and forth at 4months! But randomly couldn't/wouldn't sit up! Even when he started walking he'd sit on his knees


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## amandaloo

Hi everyone

My DS was in his own room at 7 weeks had the monitor on full in my room to be honest he was getting big for the Moses basket and he enjoyed the extra room.  

Afm- having embryo transfer this Friday   sorry haven't posted much this cycle has taken it out of me been tired out


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## hakunamatata

Oh Amanda how exciting. Hope it all goes smoothly. Exciting stuff. Hopefully we wull be sharing the 2 week wait as I had first scan today. We have 3 lead follies at the mo. One 12 and other 2 at 10. I'm hoping only 1 will take the lead by wed. Addi only got to 16.5 so we will see. 
Ju in answer to your question we have 4 vials if sperm reserved so that's our limit. Some days I wonder why we are doing it and if right. I feel guilty, not sure if this is normal. We are going to take each one as it comes. I left Addi with a childminder this am so she didn't have to come to the clinic. I cried as I walked away, first time left with someone other than Hubby or family. She was fine LOL.
On a spa day tomorrow for my birthday, daddy got her for the day. Will be a ling day away from my munchkin tho. But pampering will be bliss and just what I need for treatment. x 
Hope everyone is well.


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## ceci.bee

amanda and hakuna                     and hak enjoy the spa day sounds lovely am v jealous! I have ahd to leave joshi for work now regularly and even gone away over night and although horrible each time, he manages fine without me and is probably good for both of us to have a little space, although I always want more time with him!
Holly how are things going for you guys?? 
lots of love to all
Ceci


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## amandaloo

Hak- oh great be nice to be on 2ww with somebody  best of luck to you . Enjoy the spa day sounds like heaven to me. 

Ps sorry juju your not joining us . Hope the wait goes quick wont be long xl


Ceci- thankyou x


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## hakunamatata

Good luck today Amanda, thinking of you x


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## ceci.bee

Good luck amanda              is it the thaw and ET today?? realllly hope it all goes well


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## amandaloo

Aya thanks ) . Yes it was today. Got a phone call this morn saying one blast had defrosted well and started expanding the other was viable but hadn't started reexpanding so I wasn't sure if I'd just have one it back . Anyway 3 hrs later I had two transferred . One grade 6 blast and other early blast still remained viable and they said was just delayed but still ok. So now PUPO ))

Hak- when do you have Insem? X


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## juju81

Ooooh good luck Amanda. I'm slightly jealous. I just want to get going man! When's OTD?

I need an af dance please


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## hakunamatata

I I have another scan in the am, I have one follie at 18 one 15 and one 12. I was hoping they would inseminate Sunday so Addi didn't have to go to the childminder. Will be wierd not having Hubby at insemination but no childcare. How do you girls do it when you already have one. It's Defo been harder. I just had to do one of those 75 doses you have to mix, boy they hurt. Hopefully all worth it tho not feeling positive, sorry girls. Hope you're all well. 

Congrats on your 2 blasts Amanda sounds fabulous. X


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## carrie lou

Amanda, great news - hope the 2ww goes quick for you   


Hak - good luck Hun, stay positive  I'm also a bit worried about having tx while looking after Z, how will I manage especially as clinic is an hour away  let alone being pregnant and sick and running around after a toddler! Oh well I suppose other people cope somehow so we will too   




Ju - hope AF arrives soon   


Hope everyone is well   AFU - have caught some awful flu bug from Zac and feel like rubbish  Tucked up in bed already for an early night.


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## hakunamatata

goodness carrie at least my clinic is close. its defo harder and i feel so guilty leaving her too. i thought about taking her to scans tho not ideal for many reasons least of all its not very accessible for buggies which i would need to contain her. i do get down we all have to go through this.


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## hakunamatata

ps hope you feel better soon carrie xx


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## juju81

Hak my hubby couldn't come for Noah's treatment. My sister came instead   do u not have any family around? I'm sure Addi will be fine at the childminders. I bet she loves it  

Carrie, positive thinking woman. You might not get sickness   although my sister did with both. Full on like u got too  Noah can have 5 mornings at play school after Easter. I'm only sending him 4 but if things get too much and I need to sleep ill send him 5!


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## hakunamatata

no, no family close. 

addi cried at the childminder last time and hadnt even been there 2 hours. she was still crying when i picked her up and keen to leave. she just not used to being left.  

x


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## carrie lou

Ju, I guess I'm just assuming the worst (that I will be sick again) then anything less will be a bonus! Last time the sickness and vomiting started at 6 weeks and I was still vomiting the very day he was born


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## carrie lou

But if I am that sick again I will ask the doc for some pills. I didn't take anything for the sickness with Z, was trying to be brave I guess, but with a toddler to look after I really will need something to take the edge off!


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## ceci.bee

yay amanda that is wonderful news hun                 for 2ww

hak hun          it is so hard leaving yr baby but it is for the best reason hun and hard for others waiting in the clnic if you are waiting for tx and you are confronted with a baby in the waiting room.                   for your 2ww hun 

ju af dance for you hun    i hope you get going soon                

carrie      really sympathise with the sickness hun, but millions of wmen manage - look at BB and claudine with twin babies and toddlers you can do it   

you guys are making me even more broody than normal looking forward to a stack og bfps for you guys for me to enjoy vicariously  

lots of love and luck to you all
ceci


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## amandaloo

Hak- I have taken loads of annual leave scattered over this past two months . I tried to wrk out when I might be having ET and took two weeks off then . Luckily my other scan  days I have been off wrk Because of the other annual leave i have had..I wrk full time you see so I found it hard on my last FET cycle I was so tired  . This time I've felt bit better feel like I've wrked part time which has been nice. Feel like its been more relaxed however still remained very tired. I've found it much harder doing these cycles with having DS and wrk .. was definatley easier when i didnt have DS . i really dont know if i can put myself through it all again if it doesnt wrk :-(. My mum looks after DS when we go clinic . Sorry to hear you have no family to help . I've seen a few at our clinic bring their LO 's I havent done as journey a bit too long . Good luck with insem  

Carrie - our clinic hour and 20 mins away . Honestly it's tiring but you will manage you just do I did find taking scattered a/l has helped . Hope you feel better soon

Ceci - thanks  

Juju- (hugs ) wish it was your turn too . 20th OTD oh and af dance       

Sorry if reply bit rambled I'm on my phone and hate writing on here on it . I end up having to keep editing my post !


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## Fizzypop

Oooh Amanda keeping everything crossed for you xxx really hope it's a sticky one (or two!)

We will be going for practical clinic this time, one close to my work and I wil be able to go for scans during lunch, but again no DH :-( still not decided which one apparently there is one near St. Paul's and I think argc is a short cab ride. So many decisions x

Hope every one well, I'm more a stalker these days. Xxx


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## amandaloo

Happy Mother's Day everyone 

Hak- are you having insemination today? Best of luck if so  

Fizzypop- hello ) . When are you thinking of starting ?


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## Fizzypop

It was going to be April but now probably push back to June x

Hope everyonr having nice day. My dh thinks its perfectly acceptable not to do anything for Mother's Day. I've got a card that he hastily made at midnight when he realized how angry I was. I'm not talking to him!!!


----------



## carrie lou

Aw Fizzy   I got a card and flowers but am spending the day in bed sick


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

ahh fizzy thats not nice       I was the same when DH didnt get me a xmas card from DS1 on his first xmas. I was soooo upset.    I got a 'i love mummy' mug,    shouldnt complain   




Carrie hope you get better soon. DH is ill so i'll be cooking and doing the useual stuff


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## Fizzypop

Oh no Carrie, miserable being ill :-(

I just don't think they get it. I'm thinking of not doing anything for father day    

I'm cooking roast beef dinner for my mum later, yum yum, hope I cook it right!

I'm trying to draw a dinosaur for dd to paint for a nursery competition. I didn't take art at school as I was so rubbish at it!!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

after i wrote that i got flowers delivered    Hes in my bad books, i feel really down at the mo. DS was ill all week on my week off, i had to cancel everything. Then just when he was getting better and the weekend came DH became ill.      Why oh why. He said i can rearrange my plans next week. Yeah when i'm back at work!!! Idiot


----------



## hakunamatata

Hey girls happy mothers day. 

Some naughty sh'a out there. After all we've been through you would think they would realise how important this day is.

We're havung a struggle with Addi. I've been slowly reducing milk for her daytime nap trying to remove the bottle. Well today she's kicked off when it was gone. Was hard to confirt and even tried letting her cry in the cot, no good. She's still awake with dh now. I guess I made the mistake if not getting her used to going down without a feed.  She's waking in the night too Twice last night and we cuddle her back off. I guess in just panicked incase I fall pregnant. I'm terrible at letting her cry. 

I feel like a failure again. 
Scanned yesterday.
Insemination is tomorrow at 3.30. I have one follies at 19.3 another 15.5 and last at 12. They were so serious warning against twins. Please lord, one would be fantastic. 
Sorry to go on girls, feel dispairing.
Hope you feel better Carrie and you get the fuss you deserve fizzy. 
Big hugs mini x


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## carrie lou

Aw Hak. You are not a failure honey, this mummy business is hard, and they don't come with intruction manuals!   


I had to stop Z's nap time milk too. I switched to cuddling him instead. We sit together in the rocking chair in the nursery, rocking back and forth, he holds his comfort blanket and we have this app on my iPad called Sleepy sounds. It's lullaby music and coloured stars tumbling down the screen. Z likes watching the stars and it seems to help him be still and allow his brain to switch off  Since I started doing this he is actually napping longer and better  Maybe something like this would work for Addi? I am the same as you, can't bear to leave him to cry. Don't worry, you are doing a fab job. And all the best for insemination tomorrow


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i saw a light show thing on amazon which helps babies go to sleep. I'll dig it out.............


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000BNQC58/ref=s9_bbs_gw_d3_g75_ir01?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-6&pf_rd_r=012ZF09P0N0G1MMF4QRY&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=358549927&pf_rd_i=468294

/links


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## juju81

Hak why are you a failure hun? With regards insem, I had 3 really good size follies and just have one I know it is possible for twins, look at SWeetdreams and lindz but they are in the minority   and if you do fall pregnant your'll have 8months to sort her sleeping out. If you take a couple of days to hit it hard it doesn't take long to get a toddler/baby to self settle


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## amandaloo

Hak- your not a failure    . Sometimes my DS changed his sleep routine when he was starting to teeth there was no tooth to see so I was always wondering what was happening. Now hes so predictable with it I know for certain now. I remember dropping DS midday drink and he wasnt happy with it at beginning but soon got the hang of it. Try not to worry  . Ive had a few thoughts too about what if this happens while Im pregnant how am I going to manage so must be normal to worry about these things

Well my DH says I have some weird ideas about mothers day, and Im not his mother so I dont get looked after for the day!! He has been a grumpy   since ET ! MEN
Carrie -sorry your unwell get well soon


----------



## ceci.bee

Hakuna hun you are a wonderful mother. if we all had magic sleep solutions and could change routines and everything went well every time we would all be on TV writing books - every baby goes through different times differently, there are no magic solutions and you have to do what you feel is right at the time, most of the time it works out really well, sometimes not so well, that is motherhood. I am sure she will settle fine and is probably picking up a bit on your anxiety about tx as well. so much               for tomorrow will be thinking about you loads and hoping it all goes well hun          

hmmm hearing about all of your mother's days put mine in perspective here - DH went - 'oh, is it mother's day, its not in malawi that is later in the year so we will celebrate then' hmmmmmmmmm (DH is britsh and not malawian)............
I am having a huge guilt trip about working 5 days per week here - I leave Joshi either at nursery or with his nanny 5 days per week 8-5 and have been worrying it will impair his ability to form deep relationships later in life  - does anyone know about this? when I get back to the UK and the NHS I am going back 3 days per week, but my job here for now requires 5 days min.......any advice??
lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## carrie lou

Ceci, I meant to reply to you last night but ended up spending half the night on the toilet instead   (sorry TMI).


My mum likes to tell people in your situation about how she was forced to go back to work for financial reasons when my little brother was only 4.5 months. He was with a nanny at first and then went to nursery. All her mummy friends issued dire warning about what a terrible long term effect this would have on him. Well that was 24 years ago and he has turned out probably the most well balanced of the three of us! He certainly has no problem forming relationships.


I know this is only an anecdote and not actual evidence. But I really think the quality of the time you spend with Joshi counts more than the quantity - so you just have to make sure that your evenings and weekends with him are as special as they can be. I know it must be hard, I can't imagine leaving Z 5 days a week, I think I would go mad! It seems that motherhood is just plagued with guilt whatever choices we make. But you are doing what you have to for your family right now, and should be proud.


----------



## Pootle77

Hi everyone,


I'm rubbish at posting but do keep reading so hello guys.  Hope everyone is doing ok.  Good luck to those of you trying again.  And, you know what, I reckon that being a Mummy is destined to make us feel guilty, whatever decisions we make, it's all part of our little ones being our world.   


I was posting in the Summer when we were told it looked like we might miscarry number 2, he's currently feeding!  He's 3 weeks old now, arrived 3 minutes before due date and I managed a 32 minute natural delivery after an emergency c section last time, so all a lot more painful and very different from last time!  At this stage with DS1 we were still in SCBU so it's nice to experience having a newborn at home with no complications.  He was 7 lb compared to 3 lb 15 with our first!  DS1 is the best big brother we could have asked for.


Lots of love and baby dust to everyone.


Xxx.


----------



## ceci.bee

yay Pootle that is wonderful news congratulations hun, so pleased you are at home and enjoying your baby, cheered my day up no end.

Carrie thanks hun        let's hope Joshi turns out like your bro   

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Wow pootle you kept that quiet!   congratulations


----------



## carrie lou

Pootle, amazing news!  So pleased for you


----------



## hakunamatata

Been inseminted, go spermies go. Hubby driving to ipswich to pick Addi up so I've got my feet up. Very odd being home alone, well got ruby the dog x


----------



## amandaloo

Pootle- fantastic news congratulations    on your baby boy enjoy xx

Ceci- I don't believe it will have an effect on them. We all have to do what we need to do  I'm working full time but long days 4 days a week and my husband does the same . It's not easy but like you I plan to reduce hrs in the future. We all feel guilty for one thing or another  .

Carrie- get well soon

Hak- any news?

Afm - symptom spotting its hard not too !. I feel sick and I had a light small amount of blood when I wiped yesterday . ? Implantation bleeding?? I bled a little day of embryo transfer which is normal then nothing at all next day then yesterday like I said just a small light amount on tissue when I wiped . I felt a  bit crampy yesterday too. Can't read too much into anything though as can be drugs or because or procedure . Preparing myself now for every eventuality .


----------



## amandaloo

Hak- post crossed congrats on being PUPO x


----------



## ceci.bee

Hakuna hun yay you are PUPO that is fab - hope you enjoyed your feet up time afterwards before Addi got home           for ur 2ww hun - forgot your dog was called Ruby - ours here in Malawi also called Ruby  

Amanda                 for OTD hun thinking of you

thanks guys    lots of love to you all
Ceci


----------



## hakunamatata

Big hugs to you Cecil you do fab with Joshua. We are all too hard on ourselves hey. 

They should be home any time now. 

Swim spermies swim. X 

Amanda symtoms sound good, no great, I  won't have any for ages. X 

Hope you're starting to feel better Carrie x


----------



## Lindz

Wow Pootle. Congratulations to you, DH and DS1. Great news that all went well and you are all at home. 

Good luck Hak and Amanda. Sorry, been rubbish at keeping up to date. Always read on my phone on the train on the way to work and difficult to post. At home now though with DD with nasty chicken pox. DS had I 2 weeks Ho but really mild case compared to her. She is literally covered in spots  . Feel awful for her. Hoping we all get some sleep tonight

X


----------



## Fizzypop

Lol, sounds like my DH was not the only useless one yesterday. He got me some manky flowers delivered to work today, we are talking again (I'm still mad but can't keep it up forever!!)

Ceci - I work 5 days a week too, no end in sight what with having to pay for more tx! I am hoping that I can either go down to 4 after a second bubba or do consulting so still earn same as full time but work less ifykwim. We will see what happens. Heard someone at work is pg with no 3 today and I got that feeling...like I want 3, don't want to stop at 2  will have some convincing to do for dh tho!!! Not even got no 2 yet...anyway, similar to what Carrie said I think, I make sure my time with her is spent doing fun stuff - we go swimming every week, and yesterday painted a comic relief tshirt (huge mistake - red paint everywhere!!), planted some seeds and cooked a roast beef dinner together. I've massively lowered my standards to be able to do this...house is untidy most of the time (but clean lol!), dh often feels ignored, DIY jobs don't get done, etc...and the guilt continues!!

Lindz - chicken pox for them both, not good, hope it passes quicker!

Pootle - huge congrats, cannot believe how quickly that time has gone.

Hak and Amanda - fingers crossed or you both xxx

Right, better go and do some work (another one of my sacrifices!)


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Pootle - amazing news - well done!
   

Hak and Amanda - good luck!

If you have to work you have to work - not much you can do about it. All you can do is ensure the experiences they have at nursery are good ones. They will learn lots. Make the time you spend together quality time. Ceci - in Africa you have house maids don't you? - Must mean that you do not have to spend the time you do get with Joshi cleaning and doing laundry? Unlike us!!!

I went for a scan today after my 2 month break off all meds. Luckily all the cysts had gone. But, lining still too thick - 6.8mm and I had 8-10 follicles on each ovary. The lining still needs to be 4mm and I don't want one of those follicles to take off and make oestrogen and make the lining grow, which it probably will. They are scanning me on Wednesday again (if I can get time off work, which is very tricky at the moment).
I am pleased that at nearly 42 I have 16 follicles, but it is very difficult getting to a position where I can have this precious blast put back. It has to be perfect for it, otherwise it is a waste.
The nurse mentioned endometrial scratching to try and renew the lining if it is still too thick on Wednesday - anyone had it done? Is is under sedation?


----------



## juju81

Amanda, I don't know anything about FET, I'm assuming technically your a week ahead anyway?


Hak, good luck. Have a shag tonight. Helps apparently    


Lindz, usually the child who has it second gets it worse as they have 'double' dose of the virus. Hope she feels better soon   


Ceci, it must be hard. He's obviously not phased by it, he seems a very happy content little boy.   


Holly, I know nothing about it. In fact I don't know much apart from IUI stuff!


Pootle I remember you posting, congratulations on a second little boy   


I'm due on today and still no period which fu*ks up my plans for a cycle in April. I give up


----------



## JanaH

Thinking of everyone on their 2ww.


I need some advice: we took down the cot sides on Joseph's bed last weekend. The first two nights went smooth, but on the last 3 nights he cries when I put him down and it takes about 30 min to settle him and to get him to sleep. When his asleep he sleeps. Today for his nap he did not want to sleep in his room instead fell asleep on our bed. Now my question is will this pass or should we put the sides back? I wonder if he felt more secure with the sides on, we do have a safety side on the bed so that he can't fall off. 


Hope everyone else is doing well.


----------



## amandaloo

Juju- yes I guess I'm further ahead emmbie already developed to blastocyst stage so they would implant not long after being transferred day after or day after that so I've read !! Hope that af has arrived?? 

Holly - what a nightmare you are having really wish it could have run smoother for you .  Never heard of the other procedure ? Is natural FET a possibility ?

Jana- not got to that stage yet . Might just take time to adjust ? Other mums will know? 

Hak- how you doing ?

Hello to everyone else

Afm- feeling a bit negative to be honest lost my pma mostly as I have af pains morning to night and have done since 3rd day past transfer I know it dosent mean anything but still makes me worry . Also had a spot of light bloods on tissue 2nd day and 4th after transfer on one occasion each time. The last one freaked me out a bit and not been feeling same since.  I asked nurse at clinic if I needed to do anything she said no and said it dosent mean anything. Anyway will try and be positive it's not over yet .


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Sounds like implantation pains and bleeding to me Amanda! Very positive in fact!

Well nightmare continues.
I went for another scan and the lining had not budged from 6.8mm.
After the nurse telling me on Monday if the lining is not thin at the start I will be throwing my baby in the bin, the doctor said as it is an unmedicated cycle then it is fine to start - I wish they would make up their minds! I was told the doctor was looking at my previous history. She thinks it is just my natural lining and trying to get it thinner is not possible - but it has been thinner before with down regulation in the past.

So I refused to start as I feel that if it does not work I will always regret it.
Now I have a doctor's appointment - but she is fully booked until the 11th April! Grrrrrr!
Might have to have a saline scan to see if there are polyps. I will ask about endo scratching too as if it increases success, then it is worth it.


----------



## amandaloo

Holly-    how stressful  . What did they say when you refused to start? Will the gp. do the other things you mentioned .


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

The doctor is the fertility specialist. The GP would not have a clue.

The doctor who I ''saw'' via the nurse yesterday, said she was happy, but if I was not happy to have a doctor's consultation and perhaps had the saline scan to look for polyps.
The appointment works out when my next cycle is due to they will be able to see more of how things are or me.


----------



## amandaloo

I see I wondered how the gp would help ! Your better not having any regrets Best of luck x


----------



## hakunamatata

Sounds sensible holly but very very frustrating, big hugs to you.

And I agree it sounds very positive Amanda. 

All ok this end. Just got back from couple of days at mums so more rested. X tummy feels heavy but I'm sure its just because I'm thinking about it so much. X


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Amanda sounds all normal to me hun   


Holly don't blame you for not starting yet   


JanaH he will settle down. Just keep taking him back to bed. Hold his hand. Say night night and bed. Then if he's up again don't speak just take him back to bed. I wouldn't put the side back on.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies did a test BFN   I knew it hadn't worked   . I had a glimmer of hope at beginning with the early spots but just been spotting every day for past few days . God knows what we will do now   my thinking prior to this cycle was to give up if it didn't wrk this time. So need to have a good hard think about it all. It's when to stop isn't it you could go on for ever and I want to enjoy life too with DS . More treatment means less holidays etc . Oh dear, going to wrk soon too hope I can cope x


----------



## hakunamatata

Oh honey I had felt so confident for you, and Im sure you were too. It just reminds me what an awful game this is. Could it still be too early? Sorry you've got to go to work too. 
I wonder how many we will do, I sometimes think this is it and maybe I should just be happy with my little family. As I looked at them asleep together this am I felt so blessed. So many emotions.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Big hugs Amanda


----------



## Fizzypop

Oh no Amanda, felt so positive for you too xxxxx


----------



## amandaloo

Hak- no not too early used a first response one they can tell 6 days before . I know it's hard isn't it sometimes I've felt guilty for wanting more as so blessed with one . 

Thanks ladies its a tough journey isn't it x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Amanda you really need to test on test day. I tested 2 days early and it was still negative.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Amanda - it is much too early hun.  
Your OTD is not until Wednesday. I have heard of people who have negative tests right up until the day before. Even on my OTD with Charley the test was so feint I had to hold it to the light and then do a clear blue digital.
Give the embryo a chance. Even with early use  of first response it says wait a few more days if you get a negative and test again.


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, I agree it is too early. Even with the first response ones they say on the packet they are not 100% reliable used that early. So I would definitely test again in a day or two. Big hugs to you     It is so hard isn't it, but hang in there, it's not over yet


----------



## amandaloo

Thanks for advice I will test again day before otd and otd just to make sure xx


----------



## ceci.bee

Hey amanda if you read the small print it says that I think a small percentage of women who get a BFP on OTD have their BFP early on first response, and that percentage goes up each day and so it is only 100% accurate on OTD. Try not to stress yourself out with the early testing (soooooo know that is easier said than done) but you have a few days to go and I have evrerying            

lots of lvoe to all
Ceci


----------



## Pootle77

Keeping everything crossed for you Amanda.


Hope it's a good result for you and Bourn too, Hakuna.


Holly, hope the dr is able to offer some helpful advice.


----------



## juju81

Amanda how many days post 5 day transfer are you?


----------



## amandaloo

Juju - I'm now 10 days was 9 yesterday . They gave me an otd of 12 days after transfer .


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Far far too early


----------



## juju81

10 days post 5 day transfer? When is OTD?


----------



## amandaloo

Mini - thanks 

Juju - it's on wed otd 12 days past transfer 

I haven't tested today thought ill either do it tomorrow and otd or just on otd .Thanks again everyone bet you all think I'm silly testing so early I just couldn't resist those early tests !


----------



## juju81

So are you in effect 15 days post ET? Or EC? I've no idea, I get confused with blasts? I'd be a nightmare having IVF


Keep positive hun


----------



## juju81

Noah was 3 yesterday    we went to Thomas Land which is part of Drayton Manor. Stayed in a Thomas themed room. We had such a lovely lovely time. Defo recommend it.  He's Thomas mad and just didnt know what to do with himself


----------



## hakunamatata

Good luck for your next test hun, be lucky.

Glad you had a good time ju, he looked a happy bunny. Can't believ hes 3 hey. X


----------



## carrie lou

Happy birthday Noah  Thomas Land sounds amazing. Z is a fan of Thomas too  


Amanda, good luck for when you test again  Nope not silly at all, the waiting can drive you   and it's only natural to want to know one way or the other! I'll have my fingers crossed for you  


Hak, how are you doing honey?


----------



## shelleysugar

Hi all
First time posting on this board but lovely to see lots of familiar 'faces'!

Juju -   to Noah.

AFM: I have made it to the 9 weeks milestone and have my first midwife appointment tomorrow - exciting times  

Shelleysugar xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Welcome Shelley   How lovely to see you here


----------



## juju81

Yay, shelleys here  welcome lovely xxx


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Juju - yes that's right would have been 15 days post EC if I'd had EC this time . I don't understand iui . How often do you have to go to clinic in a typical cycle wouldn't mind it explaining as thinking about it as an option ?

Shelleysugar - hello and welcome many congratulations x

Afm- bfn today otd tommorow . I'm tired out early night I think x


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, when I had IUI I had to go to clinic twice in the cycle. Once when I got a positive ovulation test, for a scan to check on follies, then again for insemination. This was clomid DIUI. With other types of IUI you probably have more scans. Sorry to hear you got another BFN, hope you are OK


----------



## juju81

Amanda, hugs hun,


At my clinic it goes like this.


Day 1, AF arrives, day 2 I have a scan and start taking clomid for 5 days, day 10 I have another scan to check lining and follies. Start peeing on sticks, when I get a smiley face on my clear blue digi I go in the next day for insemination. Some clinic give a trigger shot but mine rely on ov sticks.  Can be stressful thinking I'm going to miss it but I got round it last time by testing morning and then about 5pm


----------



## juju81

Anyone watching bed time live?


----------



## JanaH

Amanda sorry for about the bfn  


Juju I'm off to Shirley in the morning to find out if we can do a few cycles of IUi as we don't have £5k for IVF. We still have 9 ampoules left so could do 5 iui's and keep 4 for 2 IVF cycles when we have the cash.


I'm so glad I didn't put Joseph's cot sides back as it took only 3 nights for him to settle, he loves his new big boy bed. Had a trip to A&E after work as Joseph slipped on some gravel in the car park and cut open his forehand. Luckily they just glued the wound. We booked a camp trip for Joseph's birthday looking forward to it.


Hope everyone else is good


----------



## juju81

Ooh where u camping? Love love camping. Poor Joseph. Noah fell out his bed about a month ago and cut his lip open  I'm sure they will let u do IUi?! I just want to get going damn it. Might bump in to you one day


----------



## JanaH

We are going to Alpin Grove in Chard... 


My periods due next week so if I try iui again I hope to start next week.


----------



## hakunamatata

Amanda sorry to hear its still bfn. Big hugs. X 

I had 4 scans at the clinic from day 9 onwards then insemination. I was on gonal f with trigger and bloods every time to check for ovulation. Just plodding along this end, nothing to say. I'm staying at mums tonight in same room as addi and ruby the dog, snug LOL. Hoping for a quiet night, im tired LOL. 

Oh exciting janah, fingers crossed x


----------



## amandaloo

Thanks for the info ladies sounds like its different at every clinic,  just on way to clinic was an early start yawn yawn. Still bfn as I suspected . Had a few days to come to terms with it now so we are going to treat ourselves holiday abroad and perhaps an iPad ! Might go out for night out this weekend too. Going to give ourselves a month to decide what to do next 

Jana -glad your lo settled down in his own bed . Good luck with your next try

Hak- best of luck to you sending positive vibes your way 

Juju- Noah looked like he loved Thomas land .


----------



## JanaH

Take it easy Amanda


----------



## hakunamatata

Give yourself lots of treats Amanda. 

Janah well done keeping little one in bed. Big achievement x Addi night wasn't good. Up over 2 hours ended up giving milk, epic fail. New day. X


----------



## juju81

Amanda, hugs hun.  Holiday abroad sounds like a fab idea.  I've already decided if we don't get lucky I'm booking Vegas! Might downsize my car too, would like a beetle but have always needed a boot so to speak    


Hak, is she poorly?


----------



## hakunamatata

Nah possibley a tooth still making way through but this can be normal she can take an hour to re settle. Hubby usually does nights as sleep important for my condition. Mum kept wanting to take her downstairs which is why milk came out. 

Holiday sounds great think we have the same plan LOL x


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda, so sorry   Holiday sounds like a really good plan while you decide what to do next. Hope you're OK     


Hak, sorry you had a bad night.  this is why we ended up cosleeping a lot, only way I could get any rest  


We've just got a Gro Clock. Don't know if anyone else has one but it's working a treat for us. Z was in the habit of waking up extremely early and I was starting to go mad with lack of sleep! But with the Gro Clock he is starting to  learn that we stay in bed until the sun comes up. This morning he stayed in bed until 6.30 - result


----------



## ceci.bee

amanda hun huge               

Hak so sorry you had a rubbish night - hope tonight better hun - how is the 2ww going??

lots of lvoe
Ceci


----------



## juju81

Carrie I know minis just got one for the same reason! Noah wakes at 6 most mornings. So not sure it's worth us getting one


----------



## carrie lou

Juju, 6 I could live with. DH gets up at 6.30 for work anyway. But Z was regularly starting the day at 5am  which was starting to get a bit unbearable!


----------



## Lindz

Hiya everyone

Carrie- how did you get Z to pay attention for the clock? DD has one who h she likes and understands (says night night to the sun etc) but when she wakes up she just screams "yellow" even if it isn't and shouts/cries until it turns yellow and we go and get her. Really not working for us. 5:30 this morning so 40 mins of crying as set for sun at 6:10 so not even like we're being ambitious!

Amanda- really sorry about your result. Take care x

Ju- lost track of where you're up to. Are you still trying for next month? Happy Birthday to Noah. Thomas land sounds great. Think we'll go in summer though DD would probably prefer Peppa Pig world again. DS loves Thomas though. Was hotel expensive?

Hak, hope you had a better night

Hello everyone else! X


----------



## juju81

Oh I didn't realise you set the time in them! Noah would be like your DD lindz. He'd get up anyway! Thomas land hotel was expensive, but we stayed in a Thomas themed room.  You can get them for £140ish including park tickets if you don't want the Thomas themed room.  We paid £216!  Are you on **? We'll try peppa pig world this summer, were only down the road (well hr away). Won't be having tx next month, period arrived 4 days late this month and so we'll be in centre Parcs when insemination is due.  I'm sick of trying to plan it to be honest. Just had a meltdown about, said I wasn't doing it anymore, I'm now tempted to wait until after our June holiday too.  Surely it will be sorted by then


----------



## carrie lou

Lindz, I don't know really - it took a couple of weeks for him to get the idea and then it sort of clicked for him. He still often wakes up before the sun is up, but I get into bed with him, show him the stars are still out, and we cuddle and he goes back to sleep. The sun is set to come up at 6 and the last few mornings he has slept until after it comes up. Whereas before we got the clock he would expect to get up as soon as he woke at 4.30 or 5   . He knows he's not allowed any milk until the sun appears so I guess he just resigns himself to that and goes back to sleep  . He's so funny, when the sun comes up he shouts, "Oh, sun come up! Then have a MIIIILLLLLK!!!"


----------



## carrie lou

Lindz, I should also add - I've moved his bedtime a bit later which I think also helps. I think he just doesn't need as much sleep at night as he used to and I'd rather lose a bit of me time in the evenings and get an extra hour in bed in the mornings! So the combination of that and the Gro Clock I think has sorted things out for us.


----------



## JanaH

Juju Thomas land looks really nice, J will love it there.


I like the gro clocks, my friend bought her son one. Don't know if she actually use it.


Saw the nurse at our clinic today. Looks like I will start DIUI as soon as AF arrives next week. Will be doing a medicated cycle taking Letrozole and not Clomid and crinone gel for progesterone support after insemination.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

We got a gro clock cos I didn't relish anymore 530 starts   he slept in from day 1. Bit the lady few mornings he's got up at 6-630. I'll have to start getting tough again. 

Ju yeah you can set whatever time u want. I tried 10am but it didn't work


----------



## juju81

Janah, glad u have a plan.  Di mentioned to me a different prog support other than pesseries (forgotten what they are called) 
Battery gonna go damn it


----------



## Pootle77

JuJu - the progesterone support I had was crinone gel, you put it in with a plastic applicator.


Mini - love the idea of a 10am start!


We should all watch that Bedtime Live thing that was on last night for tips!


Jana - sounds like you have a plan.


Amanda - sorry it was a BFN but sounds like you have a plan for where next, a holiday sounds great!  My DH booked us a holiday for later this year and literally as he clicked confirm he realised it's the week he's in Canada on a conference so it will be me and the boys by ourselves in a caravan   


Hakuna - hope the 2ww wait is going ok.


----------



## Lindz

Thanks guys. What time is bedtime Carrie? Mine are knackered by 7pm. They go down at 7:15 so me and DH can watch Great British Menu  . Me and DD had another chat about staying in her own cot until sun comes up, not crying when she wakes and just shouting for Daddy to come and get her when the clock is yellow. She did exactly that at 6:30 this morning which was amazing but I'm betting was a fluke! So I try 10am for tonight right Mini?!  

Ju, oh rubbish that AF messed everything up. After your hols sounds good to avoid the stress but can you be that patient?!  Got a letter from SO yesterday dating our sperm storage fee is due. We are almost certain we won't try for more so paying £100+ every year seems mad but getting rid of it feels so final and scary.   We've got a week to decide. Yep, I'm on **. PM me and I'll add you. Think we'll do Thomas land in May. (If we don't keep or sperm that would cover it!)

Pootle- how annoying about your holiday. Any chance of switching dates or anyone who could come with you? Going to watch bed time live as I recorded it except I already know where we're going wrong. When DD wakes she comes into our bed for hugs, then milk, then Peppa on telly before we get DS up at 7:15 ish. Why would she stay in her own bed?! We've done it to ourselves! 

Jana- great on getting started. Good luck!
X


----------



## carrie lou

Lindz, Z used to go to bed at 7 too as he was pretty shattered by then. But I started to realise this was getting us stuck in a vicious cycle of early waking, early nap, early bedtime. Basically everything needed to move back an hour! It meant he was really tired for a few days as he got used to the new routine but finally we seem to have sorted it out and he now goes to bed at 7.45/8 ish. It does mean I miss some of my favourite TV programmes    but I just have to catch up on iPlayer. And it has made a really significant difference to his waking. He now gets up around 6 most mornings which is fine by me, much better than 4.30!


Scary thought about your sperm storage - even if you think you don't want any more, it is such a big final decision. Hope you reach a decision you're happy with


----------



## juju81

Pootle I love caravan holidays   shame u have to go on your own. Would your mum or friend go?

Lindz, she sounds like Noah. I think half Noah's problem is he's too active and desperate to start the day! Are they still having day sleeps? Noah still sleeps 1.5-2 hrs in the day and luckily is still in bed 7-730! Not sure how much longer that will go on for tho, yesterday he told me he didn't want to go to sleep or need it  

Carrie, does Z still have a day sleep? I know what u mean anybody progs, 6.30 is my time and Noah and daddy time so I go and lie on the bed and watch hollyoaks


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I have a different problem in that by the time I get home from work it is 7.15pm, then there is a bit of chilling and time at home together and C goes to bed after 9pm in the end, after bath and story and tossing and turning that goes on before he finally sleeps it is quite late. Makes my evening very prolonged.

Only our second week of 3 straight days at nursery and he is very tired by 3rd day, but still is not sleep tired until after 9.
He slept til after 10am this morning. I kept checking to make sure he was still OK!


----------



## juju81

Crikey holly, is that every night? Bless you, woul drive me insane. Could your hubby not do the days you work late? Must be hard when you probably just wanna sit down an chill. Have you been watching bedtime live?


----------



## carrie lou

Wow Holly, you must be shattered after a long day at work and then getting Charley to bed so late  no wonder he slept till 10! Must be catching up  


Juju, yes Z still has a nap, from about 12 until 2ish. You're lucky Noah still has such a long nap at 3 yrs old.


Jana, I meant to say good luck for your cycle


----------



## Pootle77

JuJu - may well take my Mum.  She's not such a fan of caravans though!  We did The Sun hols twice last year and DS loved it.  Seeing as they're so cheap that's why we can't change the dates.  Will tease DH about it for years to come!

Regards sleep, DS1 still has a nap most days for about 2 hours, goes to bed at 7.30 and is usually not awake until 8.30/9ish.  Tricky for the one day a week he has pre school!  Fingers crossed DS2 will be the same, I so need my sleep!

Anyone else that had a natural birth had a prolapse?  Am sure my insides are falling out!!  I have a drs app tomorrow so will see what they say.


----------



## juju81

Hak, when is OTD? Must be coming up


----------



## hakunamatata

Got to go for a blood test tues am ju and then the dreaded wait for the call. It's funny there was me waiting for the pains, then my friend kindly pointed out I am fully stretched now lol. Not sure how I feel, have had a bad head since Friday and felt Like coming down with a cold. 
Sorry to hear about your delay honey, I know you're keen to go. X 

Amanda you got that holiday booked yet? Would be great to get away from all this snow x


----------



## hakunamatata

And wow pootle what a nice long sleeper you have. Addi a 6 am girl. She may curl up in our bed for an hour but not always. X


----------



## juju81

Ooh fingers crossed for Tuesday, do you not test first? Not sure I could wait for someone to tell me


----------



## carrie lou

Ooh not long Hak, good luck! I'll be thinking of you    juju is right though, it must be torture waiting for that call  


Poole, you are lucky with DS sleeping in that late! Z has always been an early riser


----------



## hakunamatata

I waited last time so I will again. If I got a negative in am I wouldn't want to go to the clinic. I would be tempted if had some in the house tho, I so want to know. Hoping its a good pooped I'm feeling x


----------



## ceci.bee

good luck Hakuna hun thinking of you and have everything crossed


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Pootle- no never felt like that hope your ok whàt did your gp say ?

Hak- fingers toes and everything I can crossed for you can't wait to hear your news . Not booked anything yet started looking today though thinking menorca in June 

Hope you have all had a good weekend 

Amanda xx


----------



## Pootle77

Hak - good luck, will be keeping everything crossed.  I was the same, waited for them to do the bloods.


Amanda - GP was pretty rubbish, just said keep doing pelvic floor, it's apparently fairly normal to have a prolapse after you've had a baby.  She said go back in 4 months if it's still an issue, can't see it's going to magically resolve itself!  Will see what another GP says at my 6 week check!


Menorca sounds lovely, oh for some sunshine!


----------



## hakunamatata

thanks ladies. Wish today was blood test day Grrrrrr


----------



## amandaloo

Hak-    for tomorrow x


----------



## ceci.bee

Thinking of you today hakuna


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck Hak


----------



## juju81

Best of luck Hak, what times blood test?


----------



## Fizzypop

Keeping everything crossed xxxxx


----------



## hakunamatata

Back from blood test, I could have gone any time in am, results still not back till after 2. Addi and I went for coffee and cake too just to pass some time. Just 4 hours to go then girls. Shame its not nice weather for a walk, cake wad yummy tho x


----------



## juju81

Wellllllllllll?


----------



## carrie lou

We're all on tenterhooks here Hak   


Really hope it's good news for you


----------



## juju81

I have a good feeling. There's no af yet either


----------



## hakunamatata

Negative sorry to keep you waiting


----------



## juju81

Oh hun, sorry about that   will you go again this month?


----------



## amandaloo

Oh no so sorry Hak hope you are ok  . I've just been spending to cheer myself up . Really sorry xxx


----------



## carrie lou

Oh no sorry to hear that Hak    I hope you're OK.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hak   look after yourself hak.


----------



## Pootle77

So sorry Hak.  Look after yourself. X.


----------



## JanaH

Sorry to hear Hak


----------



## ceci.bee

gutted to hear that Hakuna hun             good luck for the next round and look after yourself


----------



## JanaH

Hope everyone had a good easter weekend.


Af arrived today so going for a scan tomorrow, and hopefully will start letrozole tomorrow. I hope I don't get bad headaches as I've got a stall at a family day craft market on Sunday.


----------



## amandaloo

Jana - best of luck will be keeping everything crossed for you xx


----------



## amandaloo

Hello

How is everyone?

Jana - how's it going? 

Mistletoe - how's things progressing with you 

Juju - have you heard any more about when you will be starting ? 

Hak - how are you doing x

Afm- booked a review appt for end of the month still not decided what to do iui is tempting


----------



## juju81

Jana, did you start drugs?

Amanda, glad you have an appointment booked. Will you new to make a decision at the end of the month?

Everything has been agreed and signed and all paperwork now at the clinic.  We are going to wait until after our June holiday.  Want to make the most of it, nice hols in the sun, few cheeky sangrias then go for end of June.  That way we can get 3 cycles done in a row if they are all BfN's! I go from feeling like its defo gonna work again to thinking its not going to work and if it doesn't its ok cos we can do sooooo much more with just one child.  Self preservation I think


----------



## hakunamatata

Hey Ju happy birthday chick. I know what you mean about positivity varying, I was convinced I was pg, now I wonder if I ever will be. 

I'm struggling so I'm  back on meds now so treatment will be delayed for a while now. We would like to book a holiday. We looked at euro disney but my its not cheap.

Good luck with your review Amanda. Iui is Defo easier in the body and pocket but emotions on 2ww all the same.

Janah how is it going?

Hope everyone else is ok. X at least the sun has stsrtwd showing its face thi it is a tad cold still LOL x


----------



## juju81

Cheers Hak  

Was is the BFN that's affected you hun   we went to Disney last October. Flipping fab. We booked when it had 30% off tho so only cost us £620!  

If my tx doesn't work, I'm going to New York with my sisters!


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## JanaH

Hak really sorry that you are struggling.   


Amanda glad you booked your review appointment.


Juju have been to CP yet? Glad you've got everything ready ro start end of June.   


Yes I've started the meds, took the last tablets today and I'm so glad I didn't get any side effects like I did with Clomid. Next scan booked for Friday and then again on Monday and hopefully insemination on Tuesday or Wednesday. Will start testing on Saturday depending on the size of the follicles, if they are 18 on Monday I will get the tigger shot then. I'm actually calm, not as stressed out as IVF, just hope it works as it's so expensive. This cycle will cost nearly £900.


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## hakunamatata

Oh janah,exciting. Ours is 900 then 500 for sperm. 

I Obv room a knock with treatment and jusr feel so low and lony, find the days so long. 

Ju how long was 620 for? Don't want to spend too much if addi wont get so much out of it being so young still.


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## carrie lou

Hak, so sorry to hear you are struggling   It must be so hard with all the ups and downs of going through tx again. I hope the meds make you feel better soon.    


Jana, good luck with your cycle   Re costs, our clinic is pretty similar - it would be about £800 odd for a cycle of IUI plus extra for donor sperm if we didn't have any stored.


Juju, think positive   Good idea to enjoy your hols first.   


Hope everyone is well.   AFM - waiting for results from my blood tests last week to see if I can be an egg sharer, I need AMH over 15.   All being well, hopefully I will be cycling some time over the summer.


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## juju81

Hak    do you get to many toddler groups?  That was 2 nights, 3 full days. Plenty long enough   


Janah, you stil at SO? They don't offer me the trigger shot? Should I ask for it? Also I have clomid?    And mine never costs that much    


Carrie,    coming your way.  Mine was a lousy 3


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## amandaloo

Hak- sorry to hear your having a hard time    it's so difficult getting a bfn I never realised just how hard until it happened to me :-( . You have all us to talk too we will always be here   . I felt sad too starting to feel bit better now I've booked a holiday and got something to focus on . You take care xx

Juju - how much at your clinic for diui? 

Carrie - fingers crossed xxx


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## juju81

Well I'm at the same clinic as Janah (I think anyway) but I thought it was £500-£600! When I had Noah it was £420!


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## JanaH

Yes, I'm still at Shirley. The first monitoring cycle IUI is £800 and the cycles without scans is £550 per cycle. My meds is about £100 per cycle. 


I got the trigger shot at last cycles as I never got a positive OPK even when my follicles was 25mm, so know they trigger when they reach 18. Unless I get a positive on the OPK's. 


Carrie hope you get your results soon.


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## juju81

Ah, that's the cycle that used to be £590! Thankfully the only cycles we'll have to pay for are the £550 cycles!


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## JanaH

If we are not luckily this month we will do the cheaper ones the following cycles. Just hope and pray that it work this cycle.


Just had some fantastic news from a friend they've been trying for 4 years did IUI's and recently did IVF and she is 7 weeks pregnant.


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## juju81

Ah that's fab, bet she's over the moon.  Shame I'm not starting this cycle janah, I came on today too


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## pippilongstockings

Hello everyone! Just popping on to say hi and to catch up on everyone's news. Looks like there's a few of you cycling now/soon, fingers crossed for you all    

Hak - I totally understand how gutting it is. I convinced myself I was pg on my first cycle trying for #2. I "knew" I was pg from about 5 days after IUI. But it was negative and I was completely gutted. I think I managed to stuff down all the negative stuff for ages, it's only coming out now really    I hope you start feeling better soon and are ready to try again   

juju - very exciting that you are ready to go in a few weeks! 

Sorry for lack of personals, I should be working......


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Hak   I know all too well how BFN and miscarriage feels. Devastating. The BFN is what made me do the mind body course as I was very low indeed. I think that course actually saved my life quite literally.

Sorry for not many personals....

What a difference a month makes! Went for an appointment today with the consultant to see why my lining will not shed and go thin enough to start the FET, with a view to having an aquascan to see if there are polyps making it too thick. And guess what - lining 4.4mm today, so I have just started oestrogen tablets. They are going to scan me again next Thursday and if there is any doubt as to the lining quality or a polyp becomes visible then we will do an aquascan then and abandon the FET.
I am amazed - I put it out of my mind that I might actually be able to start after so much disappointment! I started this treatment in October!


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## JanaH

Just a quick update, had my CD 9 scan today. I've got one follicle at 14 and 2 at 12 hope they catch up   ... Only thin that annoys me I forgot to ask what my lining is. I have to start testing from tomorrow. I've got another scan on Monday morning, hope that I can have insemination on Tuesday.


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## hakunamatata

Janah so pleased things are going well, here's hoping its a lucky cycle for you. X 

Holly wow what great progress, its certainly been a long haul for you. 

My weight isn't good at mo, just can't seem to focus on a diet. Treatment always makes me gain too!

Popping lovely to hear from you. Hope you are not struggling too much. 
Always fantastic to hear from you x 

Love to all x


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## JanaH

Had another scan this morning, leading follicle is 17mm and lining is 10. Scan and trigger tomorrow morning at 7:15 and insemination Wednesday 13:00. I've booked Joseph into the nursery for Thursday and Friday so that I can have 2 lazy days at home...


Hope you all enjoyed the sun yesterday...


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## pippilongstockings

Oooh sounds good Jana   

Holly - great news! 

AFM - big decision to make as DH told me out of the blue on saturday that he'd be happy to have another one      Completely unexpected and now I need to decide if it's actually what I want! I've got my head around not having any more now and then he changes his mind - men!


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## ceci.bee

Good luck Janah                    sounding promising

Hakuna hun huge               

Pippi lovely to see you here and wow ??number 3?? NM has done it, so can you!             

Holly amazing your lining has finally behaved itself at last               that you finally get the FET green light

Ju hun hope you get going when you are ready             

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pippi - MEN!!         


JanaH -good luck


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## juju81

Fab news Janah  

Pippi, do it! Do it in June and we can be cycle buddy's again


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## amandaloo

Jana- good luck for wed  exciting  

Pippi- wow that's great news bet you were shocked ! Good luck 

Holly - thank goodness must have been hard for you being delayed for so long . Good luck


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## carrie lou

GO FOR IT PIPPI!!!!   


Jana, good luck for insemination   


Holly, great to hear that things are finally heading in the right direction. Good luck


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## JanaH

Scan update: follicle is now over 20mm and the lining is 12mm. Had my trigger shot at 7:30 this morning, so should ovulate at 7:30 tomorrow evening.      it works


Pippie go for it    


Holly good luck for Thursday's scan


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## juju81

When is insemination Janah?


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## JanaH

Juju - 13:00 tomorrow


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## juju81

Exciting stuff


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## hakunamatata

Oh good luck janah sounds fab


Wow pippi decisions decisions exciting tho.

X


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## amandaloo

Jana-


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## carrie lou

Good luck Jana


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## amandaloo

Carrie- did you get your test results back ? X


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Good luck Jana!    

I have worked out that dates wise from my last AF, that what would have been EC day for the embryo if it were a fresh cycle is the date my first baby that died would have been born 4 years ago - 21st April. How strange  

Anyway - I have noticed we are up to 105 pages, so I will be setting up a new part 23 soon - watch this space.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Here is the new thread!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=305153.msg5427126#msg5427126


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