# Struggling ^help^



## luski (Jan 4, 2004)

Hi I've not bin on here for a long time after starting our surrogacy journey in 2009/2010 we lost everything all our savings our home & our belief in humanity. We were lead to believe we had a baby on the way got everything for a nursery paid out a lot of money & it turns out we were ripped off they saw us coming & took everything we had & there is nothing we can do. Now we are settled in a new home we have no savings anymore but we have each other. After 15 years ttc we are no closer to having are little bundle to hold & now we have no savings to be able to go down the surrogacy route either just needed to get it put & wondered if anyone had ANY advice on any aspect of this am finding it very tuff atm. My younger sister is 27 wks pg with baby number 3 & tonight has hinted strongly for some of the nursery set we have but I can't bring myself to part with it. If we let it go then we let go of our hopes of having a family & I'm not ready to do that nether is my husband also recently had a so called friends make a comment (not directed at us but still hurt) someone had dressed there puppy up & she said "just go have kids" (wish it was so easy) she has 4 children 3 on due date last was induced 1/2weeks early (thought the baby was small but turned out all was fine) & between baby 3 & 4 she had a m/c at 5 weeks we fell out when we started our surrogacy journey as she put it we would be stealing/buying a baby & the surrogate would be giving away her baby & therefor is heartless & evil & not human (& we are in the wrong for being to sensitive) sorry longer rant than expected 

 Tammy x


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## DaughterofLilith (Apr 4, 2005)

OMG! So very, very sorry for you Tammy.

If you want to hold on to the nursery stuff, don't let your sister guilt-trip you into giving it away. Damned insensitive of her to even hint about having it (in my rather arrogant opinion).

As for the 'friend' who said surrogates are evil and heartless etc ...    I don't know if she's ignorant or stupid but I hope I never meet her in case she tries spewing that kind of   within my earshot.

Sorry that I've no advice for you honey, other than the plain, bright and obvious.


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## goddessdream (Aug 23, 2012)

Hi luski,

You are obviously a very strong woman for being at the other side of everything you have been through. I know its easy said than done but ignore what ignorant other people have to say, simply because they havent been in the same boat as you so they dont really qualify with reasonable opinion. I think its lovely you still have your nursery, and you shouldnt let any of it go, someday your going to need it, keep your hope alive girl!! 
Have you tried all other roads, ivf/icsi etc.. what about adoption?
Women who have been through as much as you deserve a medal, and hats off to your partner too! Me and my partner have been trying 2years, and our story pales in comparision to yours. Your story has given us perspective tonite.
If we keep hope in our hearts and lives we have alot. Good luck on your journey!


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## luski (Jan 4, 2004)

Thank you both 4 ur support just havin ur comments has helped a lot confirms 2 me I'm not bein unreasonable needless 2 say the "friend" is no longer in our lives. We have tried every route poss did IVF results were not good my egg quality is some of the worst they have seen & with PCOS & endo aswell as womb issues & dodgy smear results (now sorted but have 2 go bk every yr  blimin hate them things lol) looked into adoption but was told as my ex husband refuses to speak with them we cannot adopt as they believe there must be something to hide. It's just 1 of them things surrogacy does seem to be the last option we have it might happen 1day until then we keep plodding on & I always try to remember there r people out there a lot more worse off than me

Again thank you both for ur support  x


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