# Adoption Order Help



## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

Hi All

So we have been given the date for first directions hearing which is due to take place next week, social worker for our boys has called today to tell us that birth family are attending as they intend to appeal.  Birth parents are no longer together and according to LA (although its unofficial) father is having a baby with someone else and birth mother who was pregnant has apparently had a miscarriage (although we are not sure where LA have got this information from) we were hoping that the pregnancy may have stopped BM going to court so as not to confirm pregnancy to SS.  I have been naughty in that I have been looking on social media to try and gauge circumstances but to no avail DH has a strong gut feeling something is going to go wrong and that they boys are going to go back I am trying to stay positive and keep in mind that judges don't grant placement order lightly but it's hard to not think the worse.  It's likely that this is all going to drag on for some months iRo said it could take six months to be resolved which seems a hell of a long time.

Just wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom advice etc etc I am even tempted to contact foster carer who lives in their area to see if she has heard anything but I think this is probably over stepping the mark.

Moo x


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## Blueboo (Feb 11, 2012)

Hi, it is scary but don't assume that just because they are attending necessarily means their appeal will be successful. I know it is natural after such a long hard process to expect the worst and I did that at every stage as a self-protection mechanism. But BM turned up to our first hearing and apparently presented her case really well according to SW who attended, but judge rejected it there and then, and granted the adoption order on the day. 
Obviously I don't know BPs history in your case and if the IRO says it may take months then you need to,prpare yourself for that possibility, but they would have to provide solid evidence of a significant change in circumstances for their appeal to be heard at this stage. I really hope it goes smoothly for you and your AO is granted very soon.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Hi moobags  

Your children aren't going back don't worry, it's highly likely if they appeal they'll be given maybe 2 further court dates to "proove how their lives have changed" but this is just to get their day in court and for the system to seem sympathetic to them. That of course won't make the waiting any easier :-(

We had around 3months from direction hearing to final court date and celebration hearing. It seemed like it was taking an absolute age an was terrified our children would go back. 

It all worked out in the end but was a really horrible process to go through.

Sending you a hug but please please don't think they're going back xx


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

As little poppy says if they are in court on the day and say they want to appeal most judges will give them the opportunity - it doesn't mean your kids are going back just yet another delay. I won't pretend the waiting is easy but this is their last chance to have a say so judges will tend to give them every last chance just to make sure there is no ground to appeal (or whatever the correct terminology is).

Good luck with hearing


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## dimplesforever (Aug 1, 2014)

Hi

We had our celebration hearing on Monday - almost a year after I applied for the AO. The judge said I should get a medal for patience (obviously he didn't see me fuming after every bad news phone call). He said normally a contested AO would take up to six months.  My LO's case was v complicated due to Official Solicitor's participation and issues relating to Legal Aid. He said he had never been involved in an AO that took so long - so my experience is far from normal.  He said there was never any doubt in his mind that the AO would be granted. It doesn't matter though that you know logically that the BPs circumstances have not improved you will not be able to stop yourself from worrying.

I would probably stop trying to find out what is happening in BF as you don't know what you could stir up and ultimately you're not involved in the proceedings so you have to trust the professionals involved to act in the children's best interests. 

Good luck!


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## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

The judge has asked BM to provide a statement regards changes along with evidence to support her case it will then be heard 20 Arpil as to whether or not they are going to allow her appeal to progress pretty gutted by it all youngest how now lived with us longer than he ever did with BF just hope the judge sees sense but can never predict these things.

Thanks for asking Margo and thank you everyone for your replies it really is appreciated.

Moo x


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

Moobags - I know it's easy for someone to say but really the judge has to allow the Birth parents every chance - it really doesn't mean he's going back to them.

Try not to worry too much


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## dimplesforever (Aug 1, 2014)

Hi Moobags

I think in most cases this is where the challenge grinds to a halt - either BP do not put in statement or they put in a statement but it does not provide any evidence of a change in circumstances (which is what happened in my case - the statement was basically just going over old ground - so the judge refused them permission)


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## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

So birth mother has submitted her docs and statement to court but low on behold boys social worker is on holiday so we won't find out what her statement says or get an idea of how robust her claims are until next week by which time the LA will only have four days in which to counter her claim and submit that to court I got a feeling this is all going to go horribly wrong don't think we have the stamina for a long drawn out case.

Any experience ?


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## dimplesforever (Aug 1, 2014)

Hi Moobags

That's tough - I found it so frustrating waiting for updates from SW re court hearings.  It's so odd that you are on the outside of the court process when it is so life changing.  

In all likelihood the evidence submitted by BM will be insufficient.  Do they have legal representation?


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## moobags (Nov 13, 2013)

She has a solicitor but they are only advising they haven't been officially pointed as bm is waiting on legal aid application.

Just sick of being kept in the dark.

Moo x


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