# DE IVF at 48, mammogram required?



## Jax2013 (Dec 2, 2013)

This may sound like a strange question but does anybody know if I will be required to have a mammogram done, in order to be considered for DE IVF?

I've just turned 48 and we are considering DE IVF, we have been together for 8 years and discovered quite early in the relationship that due to early menopause we were not likely to conceive naturally and our only option for IVF was with donor eggs. We did consider this about 5 years ago but my partner decided not to proceed. However he has now had a change of heart and we are awaiting an initial consultation at Care Manchester.

I have always said that I would refuse to have a mammogram done as I have heard so many horrific stories of excruciatingly painful experiences by friends and indeed my own mother. I have read that in some countries a mammogram is a standard requirement but I can't find out if this applies to treatment in the UK. If it does, can anybody tell me if there is an alternative to a traditional mammogram? Perhaps a scan or something? I have very sensitive breasts and I'm convinced that I would not be able to cope with this experience, I'm also not convinced that it's a safe and reliable procedure anyway.

If anybody could help me with this I would be so grateful, as pathetic as it may sound to some I am worried sick about this.


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## Coolish (Jul 10, 2012)

Hi there - I don't know if UK clinics require this but I had to have them when I was cycling in Spain, but that was an age-relaed thing. It can be uncomfortable, especially of you have 'full' boobs, which I do. It's not excruciating though and only lasts a few seconds on each position. I have to say it would be well worth it to get a BFP at the end


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## Jax2013 (Dec 2, 2013)

Hi Jules, thanks so much for the reply, I suppose I will just have to be brave then  . I'm sure that I will find the courage from somewhere if I have to. It's been made so much worse for me because the three woman I know are literally three of the bravest and they've all independently frightened me to death with their horror stories, i now look at it as a form of torture!

Did you have the mammogram done in Spain or the Uk? The reason I ask is that although we are UK residents we spend most of our time in Mallorca and I've just found out about a clinic here. We are planning to try treatment at Care Manchester but I'm now wondering if we should look at having treatment here instead. I suppose like everybody else I just want the best chance of getting a BFP.

Question is where's the best place? I've not been too impressed with what I've read about Care Manchester so far but I know somebody who works there and it was her encouragement that got us to this stage. On the other hand although money's not really an issue, I doubt my other half will have the patience to keep trying and will probably want to give up if it doesn't work first time. Have you got any advice as to which clinics are the best given my age?


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## deblovescats (Jun 23, 2012)

Hi there
The UK clinics that I've contacted don't request a mammogram, so if that's a concern, go in the UK. I have just got my BFP with DE IVF at Care Sheffield - and have nothing but praise for them (I suppose my result could have influenced this) I had 2 failed attempts last year with LWC Darlington, and was not impressed. I was also considering going abroad - and went to a consultation at Serum, where Penny was lovely, but decided to try in the UK. 
Just go with your gut feeling.
Deb


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

I had successful DE treatment at CARE Northampton and they definitely don't require a mammogram. It is only the US and some of the European clinics which seem to insist on it, though I have no clue why. Be wary when trying to compare clinics when it comes to 'success' rates as many overseas clinics class a pregnancy as being a positive pregnancy test whereas in the UK it is a heartbeat being seen at a scan. Live birth rate is the only true comparison that you can go by, and realistically the only one that matters. Of course the main difference between treatment in the UK and overseas is that here the donor is identifiable, but only to the child once they reach majority and if they choose to seek contact. This was probably my main reason for having treatment in the UK, but I had had own-egg IVF with CARE too and was very happy with them and loved the donation team who are a truly wonderful group of ladies. Monday was the four year anniversary of transfering the embryos which gave us our little girl and I can honestly say it was one of the most moving and memorable days of my life with the entire theatre team joining in singing along with us to my ipod. Maybe not what we would have imagined when we decided to try to have a family, but very far from a cold and clinical 'procedure'. I was certainly happy with the treatment I had, and had in fact signed back on on the list for another donor with them in case my FET didn't work.

Hope all goes well for you too, particularly now you know you won't need a mammogram!

Caroline


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## Jax2013 (Dec 2, 2013)

Thanks for the replies Deb & Caroline, such heartwarming stuff and such a relief quite frankly concerning the mammogram!   

I've only discovered this forum in the last few days and I have to say what a wonderful thing it is. I'm unable to discuss any of these matters with friends and family, partly for privacy but mainly because they would think we are bonkers even thinking about all this at our age! I just hope it's not too far fetched to believe that we might actually get a real life baby one day


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

Hi Jax,

Definitely not far fetched! I've just been congratulating a lady on another board who got a positive test result today at 46 and I know a lady who had twins a couple of months after her 50th birthday. I'm a 46 year old Mum to a 3 year old and I am a lot fitter (and slimmer!) than a lot of the other Mums I meet. I was really lucky that all of our friends and family were very supportive throughout our treatment and love our little girl to pieces and I have never felt any different from the other Mum's. My Mum was considered to be old when she had me at 28 - fortunately the world has moved on a lot since then!

Caroline


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## bcbob (Jun 19, 2013)

I'm not sure about whether mammo is needed for deivf, but I wouldn't let a bit of pain put you off having it if you do get told you need it! Once you turn 50, you'll go onto the screening programme anyway so will have to get used to them. Speaking from experience, I'd say its definitely worth keeping an eye out for anything dodgy going on in there. I'm well under 50, and my breast cancer started as a tiny lump that I felt, but it did also show up on the subsequent mammo. They hurt, yes. I was in tears the first time to be honest. But childbirth hurts a lot more I'd imagine. And if it means they catch anything untoward early on without the need for invasive surgery or chemo, definitely worth the few minutes of pain. Just my opinion obviously..

Lots and lots of luck and good wishes for your de cycle 
Xx


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## Jax2013 (Dec 2, 2013)

Thanks for the reply Bcbob and I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer. I know that these procedures are there for the good of women's health but I'm just very sceptical about many of the screening tests for cancer in the UK. My friend died of breast cancer and my father also died of pancreatic cancer 5 years ago. You would probably think this would make me all the more vigilant and in favour of preventative measures but for whatever reason I feel just the opposite.

My friend who died was one of the toughest people I have ever known and she too was brought to tears by her mammogram, I told myself there and then that I would not be having one in the future. I realise that my thought process is somewhat irrational but it's how I feel about it.

It's not simply about the pain element either, I haven't mentioned it on here but I have got 2 grown up daughters from my first marriage and I doubt that any pain felt during a mammogram can compare to my childbirth experience. I suppose my main objection to it is I do believe it's very painful but I don't believe it would prevent me dying of cancer, I simply don't believe in its value. There are some school of thoughts that the radiation is harmful and may even cause cancer, although I'm not sure I believe that either! 

I hope that everything works out for you, it sounds like you've had a really really rough time. I will never understand what life is all about, why is it so unfair? I feel like a bit of a cheat now, after all I've got 2 very beautiful daughters and 3 grandchildren too! But my OH hasn't had that wonderful experience and he would simply love to be a dad and I would love to be the mother of his baby.

Lots of luck to you too xx


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## Moragob (Apr 1, 2012)

Hi Jax

I haven't read through all the replies so I may be repeating something you already know but there is the option of a mammory ultrasound which is painless and doesn't require squashing your breasts between two plates.  I was required to have a mammogram by my Spanish clinic due to age but it was inconclusive so was asked to get an ultrasound.  I had it done privately at the Princess Grace Hospital in London and cannot recommend them highly enough.  

We are planning to try for a sibling next year and I am going to skip the mamogram and just have the ultrasound.

Good luck

Morag


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## dillydolly (Mar 11, 2005)

Jax
I have and treatment at care in manchester. I went initially 6years ago and although unsuccessful my experience for OE was fine. I returned a couple of years ago and really felt that as a private paying patient they had lost the 'private' quality and it felt very much like an nhs conveyor belt

They seem to be doing a lot of nhs work now and feel that the haven't quite got the nhs/ private care balance right. I have tried to ask questions re my treatment and had no response or a poor response from some of the nurses, like they don't seem to be up to date

I have also been abroad for treatment and found the contact with clinic, responses and information far superior

I don't mean to be negative about care manchester but I think they really need to work on how  they work. The staff were lovely but I just expect more when paying £1,000's.


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

My mil was found to have aggressive breast cancer that had already spread to her lymth nodes with her first mammogram. She had no lump or any other signs.  She had treatment and 10 years on is fit and well.


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## Jax2013 (Dec 2, 2013)

Thanks for the replies everyone, it's all very much appreciated. That's really interesting about the ultrasound scan moragob, I have already received the standard request to join the national screening scheme but I have to admit I had chosen to ignore it   I may consider a private scan for peace of mind now.

dillydolly, thanks for your help with Care Manchester, I must admit that so far these are the kind of vibes I've been picking myself. I'm really swaying towards Serum after initial research but I haven't shared any of my new thoughts on the subject with my DP as he's away at the mo. I'm trying to build up a pros & cons list for both options, as I don't think he will be as enamoured as me with the prospect of treatment in Greece.

I'm thinking perhaps the best approach will be to have an initial consultation at Care Manchester and see how I/we feel after that. I did look at the Care group about 5 years ago and for whatever reason it was Care Nottingham that I approached. I honestly can't remember why that was now? Although I have received encouraging reports about other Care facilities, I've yet to hear any glowing reports for Manchester. It's big worry for me as I really think it will be a first and last attempt, I want at least believe we gave it the best shot available.

Thanks again ladies xx


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