# Adoption buddies: Approval Panel October 2013



## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

There seem to be other adoption buddy threads but none for October. Hubby and I go to panel next Thursday!  

Any one else going in October?


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## adoptivefamilytobe (Feb 16, 2012)

I don't come on to the forum too often, but we are goig to panel on 8th October. 

We have meeting having quite a few meetings recently regarding a potential match with 2 little boys. 
Very exciting times!


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Oh that is exciting!

I don't think we'll be linked until the new year now as we can't start intros in January due to my sister getting married. We'll have to take any LO away as we don't live near family and unless they are tiny baby, that's going to be too much stress for them.

J
xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

We have approval panel on the same day JesP. We were approached with a profile of 2 boys but we decided not to look into it further. They were lovely but just didn't tug at our heart. Don't know if that's a bad criteria to have  . So like you we don't see anything happening to new year now which is a bit depressing but we have to be realistic x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Hi DIY!

Looking at your timings, you've gotten through the process really quickly.

You have to go with your gut sometimes. Our SW told us it's actually seen as a good thing if you have to 'turn down' a link as it shows you're not just reaching out for the first child presented to you!


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## adoptivefamilytobe (Feb 16, 2012)

You must go with you gut instincts in this process. Before being shown the profiles of the little little mores we saw another, I couldn't give the SW a reason why but knew it wasn't right. 

DIY you have got through the process quickly. We put our formal application in during April, with prep group in May. So not too far behind you. 

We had a call from our SW today, there is s possible delay due to missing paperwork. Just waiting to hear outcome...its completely out of our control.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

That's not good adoptivefamilytobe! We were meant to be going a few weeks ago but it got delayed due to missing paperwork. We've got our invite to panel in writing now so unless something drastic comes up, we shouldn't be delayed again.

Starting to feel stressed about panel now. I've not lost as much weight as I wanted to. Even though I know our medicals came back okay, I'm still worried they will count against us due to my weight


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Hattrick we were meant to go last month but some references and medical stuff wasn't back.  

We have moved quick we did masses of homework I must have typed well over 100 pages and had two visits a week.  Luckily I cut down to part time hours when we started prep which is the only way we have coped.  

I am sooooo stressed about panel I haven't even told anyone because I am too scared to talk about it.  I just worry about any tiny details but ladies on here assure me that's normal x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

DIY, do you think they have a child in mind for you seeing as they've moved so quickly?

We've not actually seen our SW for 3 months! Our last HS was the end of June. I've spoken to her at least once a week (when she's not been on holiday!).

It's difficult to explain to someone outside planet adoption how stressful going to panel is! Whilst you know that the SWs wouldn't be taking you there if you were likely to get turned down, it's still there in the back of your mind... What if it's a no?!! 

I've got some Nythol to take next week as otherwise I won't be sleeping at all. 

j 

xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I don't think so no I just think rather than giving an SW 4 cases at once (for example) they give them 2 and get them done in half the time and then move on. We were one of the first to be allocated from our prep group but others who were allocated a few weeks after us are going to November. 

I think we want siblings and are reasonably open about age so I don't know if that meant we were allocated quick. 

People will never know how stressful and tiring it all is. Our agency works in a group of 5 LA that are in a bigger consortium. But they get together every month and discuss upcoming Adopters and children so they aim to match fast. I personally think SW's idea and my idea of fast are probably very different   


Have they talked matching much with you ?


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

We had a tenuous link with a little blue back in June but it was decided not to pursue as the BF lived too close. Luckily we're part of a consortium too so hopefully LO will come out of the area. We live very close to the town centre, we can actually see the SW's offices from our bedroom window lol!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

It's difficult isn't it. Not looking forward to the next few months with Christmas thrown in I think it'll be pretty quiet.   Was really hoping for a quick match but it has to be right. Not really certain how I will know when it's right, pretty much hoping it will be like the old lottery adverts where there is that hand out the sky it's you   x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Yea Christmas is going to suck! We were expecting to have a LO home by Christmas but that won't happen now! Plus with my sister's wedding in the New Year, we're looking at least another 5 months until we are parents! Frustrating but there's nothing we can do about it.


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## Arnie (Aug 27, 2009)

Hi everyone,
I used to post quite a lot while going through treatment but have just been a bit of a stalker since leaving that behind and moving onto adoption, for various reasons ... not wanting to get obsessed with adoption in the same way I was with treatment being just one! Anyway, we are at panel a week today and feeling a little nervous about it! We have a tentative link .. not sure if that's the right terminology ... have been shown the child's cpr and their social worker is interested.  There was meant to be an internal matching meeting this week but it was postponed.  Dh and I have totally fallen in love with this child and scared how we will cope with losing them. Anyway, I think a few of us are at panel next week and would be good to share the next scary few days!!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Hi Arnie, 

Gosh so much going on for you welcome the adoption boards are lovely everyone is fantastic. Hope the meetings for your potential link go well I am sure if SW has said they like you it will be smooth sailing. 

JesP you're obviously a very committed sister but it must be hard knowing there is so much to do before a match could happen.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

The only reason we have to wait until after the wedding is because we live 2 hours away. If a match did come up then we would just go for the day but I'm meant to be making the wedding cake.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

ARGH!!

3 days until Panel... I'm turning into a nervous wreck


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Ditto JesP !! Children love baking I am sure they could help   x x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

We would work around it! The main issue would be the travelling.

It seems impossible that we're actually going to panel! I got an email from the panel administrator this morning to remind me about our appointment lol.

We've been going through the process for so long!!! Hopefully on Thursday we can crack open on of the two bottles of bubbly that I've been saving since our wedding 

xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Ah that will be lovely champers from your wedding will be scrummy. Not sure what we are going to do no one even knows we are going on Thursday. I find people asking about stuff really stressful. I'm a do the big stuff on your own kind however it means others are often annoyed with you that you didn't share   . 

Have you read the thread I started asking about approval panel questions they were asked might be worth a look. DH and I spent last night trying to guess what we might be asked. x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

I've been fairly open about the process but I have a fairly large social circle lol. 

We have looked at the questions listed.  I will be asked about my weight and lifestyle. Will be gutted if they use that as a reason to say no! But it's too late to change now. 

Spent all day so far doing excessive amounts of house work trying to distract myself.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Good plan I am trying to build up the motivation to clean this afternoon. x x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

I've managed two loads of washing, straightened the living room and I'm about to blitz the kitchen


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Excellent work! Well you motivated me I have just spent two hours scrubbing bathrooms and kitchen. Just waiting for DH to come home to do floors (dog goes crazy for the hoover so need someone with him   ). 

Having 10 mins before deciding what to make for dinner. I am thinking Shepherds pie then I can make it and just warm it up later on. 

Anything to keep busy hey


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Oooh I do love a shepherds pie! We have pork schnitzel and Spätzle and veggies. Hubby travels to Germany a lot of work so likes some German dishes. Luckily I lived/worked in a part of Romania with heavy German influences so I can make the things he likes lol.

I've also gone through my adoption paperwork folder to put it back into order, and printed off a copy of the our PAR to take with us. 

Also just worked out exactly how long until our appointment...  2 days, 18 hours, 57 minutes 

EEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!!!!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Ha ha we are 2 days 17 hours and 17 minutes lol


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## oliver222 (Oct 8, 2009)

You will both be fine ladies. 
JesP with regards to weight issue. If medical advisor asks you just be honest (I had lost a couple of stone so were happy with that.) and tell them you are aware of weight issues and complications etc and are trying to make healthy changes. 

Just try and have think about issues . We knew my Dh would get asked about his birth father as had never met him so he was prepared and expecting to be asked about it.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Ty oliver. Thankfully our sw has been fab and our par is very complimentary. I'm trying not to think the worst. The fact we're going to panel is good as they wouldn't take us if they thought we'll get a no.


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Jesp and DIY, hi ladies I just wanted to pop on and say, don't worry about panel, you would not have got this far if your sw thought you would be turned down.  Your sw will go in first and then you go in.  You will have them by your side through out this. I was nearly sick with worry before our panel, and the guys on here said not to worry. And they were right. You will come out of panel with the biggest smiles and wonder what all the worry was about.  Good luck but I know you don't need it


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Thank MacGyver! I'm glad you got your happy ending  

It's October now... Which means 2 more sleeps


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Ekkk 2 more sleeps - this week is dragging something chronic   . Thanks McGyver x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

I know!  I'm trying to fill my days. Going to visit my mother in law for lunch tomorrow. Today has dragged terribly. And hubby will be late home from work.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Time with MIL boredom is getting serious   only joking. Roll on Friday think I may sleep all day out of emotional overload and exhaustion. What are your plans for Thursday we are in first appointment so not sure what we'll do after that. I will have to play it by ear and see how I feel.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Coming home to tell everyone what has happened. Hubby has Friday off so we may go out for lunch. Our appointment is 11.15 so odd time. In laws are over on Saturday so if it's a yes we'll go celebrate then.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Ah all sounds lovely JesP good idea. It will be nice to have family to enjoy all your celebrations


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

I'm trying not to plan just in case. 

I got told off by hubby tonight for stressing lol.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Husbands are like ducks all calm on the surface but mayhem underneath x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Not my husband. He's so laid back he's horizontal.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Guessing you've already gone to bed DIY! But good luck for tomorrow

xxxxxxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Thanks jes good luck today I will be thinking of you x x


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## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

Good luck to both of you, enjoy your day


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Thank you thank you!

considering how I've been all week, I'm oddly calm this morning. Poor husband is actually nervous so we seem to have had a slight role reversal.

Weird to think in just over 2 hours we will know one way or another if we're going to be parents!!!!


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## lynsbee (Jun 21, 2013)

Ooooo you guys will all be done by now!! Look forward to updates xx


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

We got an unanimous yes.  Over the moon right now xx


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## flickJ (Feb 9, 2012)

Congratulations Jes, such good news


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Unanimous yes here too. Sorry about the delay have been at my parents x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

YAY DIY I'm so pleased for you!

How did you find it? Our chair was lovely and the questions were just simple!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

They were much nicer than expected questions were how we found the process,  what we had learnt, if my DH had any financial ties or responsibility for the family farm, how we found the activity day and how we had come to terms with not having a biological child and moving to adoption.  We were given the questions before we went in so no surprises x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Our SW told us what questions she was expecting so we had a rough idea of what they may ask. From what we can gather from SW, the questions we asked were basically filler questions for them to ask to be seen to be asking something, if that makes sense.

On cloud 9 at the moment! Going to enjoy a couple of peaceful days before we let family know we've been linked.


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

How are the other October Panel guys getting on?!


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Struggling with the wait to be honest.  But I am coping better than I expected.  Seen a few profiles a couple of weeks ago but nothing right for us.  All quite this week got an exchange day next week so hopefully we'll be re enthused by that.  How are you doing x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

We had the link that fell through, then had another link that just wasn't right for us. Sent a couple of enquiries about LOs on CWW and BMP but not heard back. SW has us create our profile flyer so hopefully she'd sending that out to local LAs. We have a post adoption group in 2 weeks so we'll catch up with her then if nothing else has changed. Trying to stay positive and keeping busy


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Definitely keeping distracted is the most important thing.  Flyer sounds good.  It's hard saying no but it's important you feel totally sure before going to the next stage.  Hoping that stuff is a bit busier in the next couple of weeks and sw are distracted with plans for national Adoption week next week x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Well that's a big change from this morning....

We've just been linked to a LO!!!! 

Meeting SW & FF next Wednesday....


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Great news jes congratulations x x


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## MummyPea (Jun 11, 2012)

Ty.

Bit of a shock to be honest but we'll see what happens tomorrow, and then next week.

xxx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Got everything crossed for you x x


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