# Where to start...and how long to wait after failed ivf?



## Katkins1 (Mar 18, 2013)

Hi, I'm a single lady who has been trying to conceive firstly through iui and then ivf. I have a couple of questions for you 'experts' and hoped you could help me

I have recently found out my second and final ivf hasn't worked. I always knew that I would only have 2 attempts as I don't have endless finances and I am 39 so if it didn't work after two attempts I felt my chances of it being successful we're too slim. The plan was always to research adoption.

I know I have two choices - going through my local authority or using a voluntary agency. Is it just a matter of what I feel most comfortable with or do they offer different services?

Second question is how long I have to wait. Is it true that I have to wait 6 months after my last ivf, s it guidance or set in stone? I don't want too long dwell etc and need to feel tha I'm being proactive, maybe there are wheels I can put in motion before the official 6 months?

Sorry for all the questions, I just don't really know where to start. Thanks lots x


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## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

Hiya most have have a 6 month rule and some 12 months since last ivf treatment. It may be worth you ringing a few agencies and speaking to them it may be that they will agree to you attending an open evening before the 6 month period is up. 
There is quite a difference between local and voluntary agencies in how the children are matched and also the after service but the process is generally the same. It it quite an intrusive process and so it us worth finding an agency you are comfortable with. 
It us also worth reading as much as you can whilst waiting to start the process as it will help you understand it all more.


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## Katkins1 (Mar 18, 2013)

Thanks so much, that's really helpful. When you say there's a difference in the way that children are matched, is it something that I will find out when I speak to them or is it something it would be best for me to know before ? I have been doing quite a bit of online research whilst having ivf but couldn't really find anything concrete about the differences.
Thanks again


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## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

Voluntary agencies tend to have a wider range of children to source than local authorities. We found agencies quite open on amount of placements in last 12 months and on age range of children they have available and so best to ask them.


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi katykins, it's worth speaking to all the LA's and VA's in your area.  They will all take some brief details about you and you can explain your circumstances and most will give you an indication straight away about whether they would consider you now or waiting periods they require.  As a single adopter you may find the wait period is less strict but do expect to be really questioned about the IVF during any initial interviews you have.  Good luck on your journey x


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## Katkins1 (Mar 18, 2013)

Thank you so much. I'm going to get researching and give them a ring. I know the hardest bit is going to feel like I'm not being proactive if I have to wait 6 months so starting my research and giving them a call is going to be a good place to start.


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

Hi, I also rang pretty much straight away after my last failed attempt and our LA and VAs were happy to send me info and invite me to the open events within the 6 month period. In our area it seems to be the six month wait applies to when you formally apply to start the adoption process with a VA or LA. So you can do lots before hand. As others have said the main difference between the 2 is that an LA will only have children to place that fall into their catchment area whereas the VA has access to all children nationally. I would think about whether you have just one LA in your area and what their policies are in placing children who are in the same area. Ours don't take applications from those living in the same LA, but they didn't tell us this until we went to the open day, we'd been advised to go through that LA as they have the "best" children so hadn't booked into the VAs open events. We really regretted this. I'd recommend going to see as many as you can and see who you feel comfortable with. Also on another note VAs only concentrate on approving adopters and placing children, whereas the LA also has the responsibility of taking children into care, it would be with finding out if your LAs have separate teams who deal with these areas, as reading other peoples experiences LAs can be quite slow with dealing with potential adopters as their priority is quite obviously keeping children safe. 

Hope this helps.


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## Katkins1 (Mar 18, 2013)

Summer girl, that is so unbelievably helpful - thank you. Unfortunately it appears that there are not that many va's covering my area but there are a couple so I will definitely start with them.

There is such a wealth of knowledge and experience on here that is so willingly shared


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## summer girl (Nov 27, 2009)

You're very welcome 😊 I know how daunting it is when you first start, it's good to try and see as many agencies that you can, if there are not many VAs in your area then perhaps there are quite a few neighbouring LAs so it may be worth looking at them? Perhaps someone with some LA experience will offer advice,  as I have to say I'm very biased to our VA, they've been amazing for us 😄 good luck with your journey, a positive I found from fertility treatment is that you are guaranteed a family at the end of the process rather than the uncertainty of fertility treatment. Good luck 😄


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

LAs will try to place with their own adopters first (due to cost of using another agency), so easier to place children traditionally are placed by LAs, and VAs tend to have harder to place children but from a much wider area.  However, if you're assessed by a LA there's nothing to stop you looking outside the area yourself, and looking in online publications etc.

In the past, if you were looking for a young baby with relatively few problems, LA would definitely be the way to go.  Now things are not quite so clear cut because there are a lot more children coming into the care system and not enough adopters, but I would still lean towards an LA for littlies with relatively few known complications/risks.  LAs are often members of a consortium of other local LAs who place children with each other because of geographical considerations.  Again, using another LA within a consortium is cheaper for them than using a VA.  

I think it's worth looking at and talking to all your local LAs and VAs and find the one that suits you best.

Best wishes,

Wyxie xx


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## Katkins1 (Mar 18, 2013)

Thanks again... It's so nice to feel like I can start doing something positive. Looking online at suffolk LA now too and will contact them. I felt so well informed and researched about ivf (as much as you can be!) and now looking forward to finding out as much as I can about this process and getting the wheels in motion. Going to take all the advice on board and will contact all the relevant agencies/authorities and get as much info as I can.

Thank you! X


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## Katkins1 (Mar 18, 2013)

Didn't have a clue I could apply to neighbouring LA's and just found out I can 'apply' to essex too, so I have contacted them for info. Thanks


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