# How long after miscarriage before you can cycle again?



## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

2 weeks ago at our 10w scan we discovered I'd had a MMC at 10w (baby measured 9+3 with no fetal heartbeat) following our 2nd cycle of IVF, and I had an ERPC the same day

My consultant had said that he recommended 3 months between fresh cycles, I don't yet know how long we will have to wait until we can go again after m/c however - will hopefully find out in 2 weeks at our follow up consult

The FF FAQ on TTC after m/c says 3 cycles are usually recommended to give you time to recover physically and emotionally. I am keen to cycle again as soon as we are allowed to, and would go again tomorrow if we got the green light from a medical POV!

Was wondering if any ladies in waiting had any thoughts or experiences about how long you had to wait after miscarriage before you could cycle again?

Thanks in advance


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## Hopefulshell (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi Bananafish  

In my experience 3 months is nowhere near long enough to recover emotionally from a mc even if your body is healed sufficiently enough to physically try again. 

I had a FET 4 months after an early loss on the advise of my clinic. They said age wasn't on my side (I was 36 at the time!) and shouldn't hang about. So I did what they said. And then I got a bfn and went to pieces   It then took me months to recover as the feelings of loss from the mc that I hadn't given myself time to get over were compounded by the negative test result. 

I know how very hard it is to wait when you're so desperate to have a baby and that by planning ahead it somehow helps to cope with the grieving process. But my advise would be to make sure you are completely over this very recent trauma (as much as you can be) before rushing headlong into another cycle. Sadly once you've had a loss the fear and anxiety doesn't really go away. So the next time you get a bfp you need to be in a strong enough place emotionally to cope with that additional anxiety that you're most likely to feel. 

Only you and your DH know when it feels right to go again but however hard it is to go through the grieving process now, trying to suppress it like I did only prolongs it. At 34 time is on your side. Give yourself enough of a break now so that next time you get pregnant you'll be strong enough and recovered enough to enjoy the experience without latent emotions spoiling it for you.

Xx


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## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

Hi *Hopefulshell*

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope that the break from tx was suitably restorative

You're absolutely right about planning ahead. I would cycle again tomorrow if I could. I'm deriving enormous strength by having got off my bum moping and self medicating with chocolate, to getting back on all the supplements, and preparing questions for my Dr in my follow up, and generally working out a plan of action.

For me the waiting is the worst part of infertility - which as you know is 99% waiting and 1% actually doing something!

I was practically counting the days down until we could cycle again last time, and when my second cycle got pushed back by a month (failure to down regulate wouldn't have been too much of a problem if it hadn't been 3 weeks before Xmas, and then EC/ET would have fallen over Xmas week, so we had to push back until the New Year) that month felt interminably long!

My beloved late Mum had a wonderful pearl of wisdom which I find so very very true in so many aspects of life. It was something that carried her through her final days, and I think it's certainly something that I find tremendously helpful, through both the good times and the bad.

She said something is only a problem if you can do something about it. In which case, get on with doing something about it! If you can't do anything about it, then it's not a problem. It's a situation, a fact, and you can either accept it and move on, or you can _not_ accept it and go potty.

For me, I find the planning ahead process to 'do something about it' incredibly uplifing and a positive thing, in so many aspects of my life. I am aware of time, as although at 34 I may theoretically have time on my side, with incredibly low ovarian reserve, the fact is I don't have time on my side. With almost undetectable AMH, that declined 93% in the space of 5 years, quality is the thing I really have going for me, so the more embryos I can make with 34/35 year old eggs, the better.

We decided not to opt for PGS the first time around (although it was our second cycle it was our first transfer, as the eggs from the prev cycle had gone straight in the freezer unfertilised, and were thawed and fertilised along with the fresh eggs from cycle #2 - long story!), but with the benefit of hindsight etc etc. We have 4 frosties on ice, but we are minded to leave them on the subs bench for now, and see if there is any way we can replicate the success of the prev cycle, where I responded to stims amazingly well, and we got a v decent haul.

Part of the reason we went ahead so quickly (initial attempt at second cycle was 6 weeks after cycle #1) was because my ovaries were still slightly stimulated, so I had a good crop of follicles in the starting block, and this definitely seemed to pay dividends once I started stims. I'm really keen not to lose momentum - if pregnancy has quieted my sleepy ovaries then not much we can do about that, but certainly keen to get a plan of action in place.

If we have to wait 3 months, we have to wait, and not much I can do about the physical bit! While we're in IVF limbo, at least Dr had said last time we could do monitored cycles with oestrogen support, so I could at least be in with a shot of a natural BFP while we waiting till we could go again (my thin lining meant I'd never been able to conceive, as nothing had been able to implant). Will certainly ask if we could goose things along with some very low dose stims, just to coax my sleepy ovaries into waking up, in prep for our next cycle!

I personally find the waiting the most emotionally stressful part, and getting on with things is TBH the way I've always dealt with things when sh*t happens. I don't suppress my grief, but I don't sit and mope, I allow it to come out naturally while I'm looking forwards, not back

A sh**y result is going to hurt whenever it happens, and tbh I can't see that waiting 6 months rather than 3 months is going to make a BFN or another m/c hurt any less - it'll still be devastating, but I'll be thinking how much time we wasted just sitting on our ar*es. I don't particularly want a break, the prospect of 3 months spinning our wheels fills me with dread as it is! The anxiety of a failed cycle, or indeed of a future pregnancy, is going to be horrendous whenever it happens, and delaying the inevitable (whether that's BFN or BFP) I would personally find very very tough going.

If at first (second, third, fourth etc) you don't succeed, try try again etc

I'm trying to look upon the possible months ahead as time for the DHEA levels to build back up, while I guzzle the egg quality supplements that seemed to make a massive difference to my egg and embryo quality between my first and second cycles

If we do PGS, then nothing would go back straightaway as we wouldn't be doing a fresh transfer, so the 2ww and POAS-D-day wouldn't be for a while longer in any case.

Hope you're feeling match fit after your break, and that you're doing OK.

Much love and strength

xxx


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## marty123 (Dec 26, 2015)

Hi, dear bananafish! I'm sorry you have to ask about it. I wish it wasn't your case, but still.. Different clinics suggest differently. Ours insisted it must be not less than 4 month. Even up to 5 in more complicated cases. I suppose this period of time depends on the terms of the miscarriage and whether process ended without any damaging. 
Will be praying for your next cycle bring you success


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## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

Thank you *Marty*, I really appreciate your feedback

I had an ERPC the same day, had no physical pain or discomfort at all, just had a bit of bleeding thereafter (which the consultant said was normal) which is just very light spotting now. Physically I felt fine the next day - am so so glad we were able to have the ERPC so quickly, waiting around for days with my dead baby inside me would have been horrendous. Doing the ERPC privately also meant we were able to get the tissue testing done, which we wouldn't otherwise have been able to do.

I'd like to do a hysteroscopy before we put anything else back, just to check what condition the uterine environment is post ERPC, check for adhesions etc. Physically I would never have known I'd had any procedure at all tbh. I'm still getting blazing BFP lines so imagine my hCG levels have a way to go, but the op was only 2 weeks ago so imagine it will take some time for things to clear out.

There's a real variance in what people have said, others have said their clinics said they could go again after one natural AF! Will be very interested what my Dr will say when we see him in 2 weeks time...

Thank you once again, and wishing you all the very best with your tx

xxx


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## Hopefulshell (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi Bananafish

Firstly, apologies, I answered your post this morning on my phone so couldn't see your signature. Sorry for not appreciating that your ovarian reserve doesn't give you the luxury of having too much time off. I'm old but have PCOS which has very few advantages other than having more than average eggs for an oldie!! In your situation, I absolutely understand the need to not waste time. It's so sad when time isn't on our side. It's a shame we can't just freeze it sometimes so we aren't faced with the endless biological ticking clock (although I guess that's what FETs are for!) 

The break absolutely did the world of good for me. In fact after doing back to back cycles over two years, I took over a year out between cycle number 4 and 5 so that when I went through my last and final cycle I was match fit!! I used the time wisely - I spent the year having hypnotherapy for the emotional bit and undertaking a (quite frankly!) punishing anti-inflammatory diet to try to address my overactive immune system naturally. In hindsight I wish I'd have had a break between my cycles and if I'd been younger I probably would have. I think if I'd had longer breaks the whole IVF journey wouldn't have perhaps have been so life-changing. When I mentioned I went to pieces after my MC and subsequent BFN I literally did. I had to give up work because I had horrendous tension headaches for months and months, and panic attacks that left me floored. Having a year off from tx completely changed my life and gave me back the control and even some of the happiness that'd I'd lost. By the time my final FET came round I was ready to face whatever the outcome was to be. I also set up my own business in that space of time too so I had something else to focus on other the constant suffocating desire to have a baby. 

You're absolutely right that no matter how much time you have off nothing really prepares you for the pain of loss or a BFN. However, the more times I failed the more it hurt although how much that was due to just being worn out and how much to do with not allowing myself to grieve each time is hard to say.

I'm so very sorry to hear you lost your mum. Her words of advice are very uplifting though and I'm glad it's been a comfort and a guide in which to live your life by. I admire your strength to keep going forward on this horrible journey. Sometimes I think I've been strong to go through it five times - other times I feel a bit weak when I read the awful experiences other ladies have had to deal with on this forum. I guess everyone has different pain thresholds and I hope your strength leads to your happy ending very, very soon.

Take care

x


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## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

Hi Hopefulshell

Not at all, and tbh the fact that we got 17 eggs at my last egg collection, despite having almost undetectable AMH, suggest that my ovaries haven’t quite conked out JUST yet (all the embryologists asked if my AMH could be a lab error - I said it had been measured three times in three different months by two different labs!)

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 28, so I had assumed when I came off the pill aged 33 that I would still have cracking ovarian reserve, and the problem was going to be getting me to ovulate.  Apparently not, as my PCOS had gone along with all my eggs!  4 months of DHEA to bring my testosterone up into normal range seemed to kick my ovaries into gear, and thus going from 6 eggs / nothing to blast in Oct, then 17 eggs / 7 blasts 3 months later. 

Sounds like the break was incredibly restorative and just what you needed, I’m so pleased you found it so helpful.  I was a massive sceptic, but am a complete convert to hypnotherapy, as I had a few sessions with a lovely therapist who does ‘hypnofertility’ who helped me with some lovely visualisation during both cycles. I shall definitely be going back whenever we are allowed to cycle next!

For me it’s the waiting that I find most stressful, as I’m just kicking my heels waiting to get on with things.  It’s also difficult being in limbo, because I have to stop work in order to cycle, because I have chronic pain due to a spinal injury, and in preparation for being off all my pain meds for transfer, I have to taper down over the preceding weeks.  I was on semi bed rest until my mc because I couldn’t sit for any length of time without my pain meds - so essentially I’ve had 2 months flat on my back, that was supposed to be for the greater good, but was all for naught. But that’s life. My life for the past 6 months has been IVF, cancelled IVF, IVF, pregnancy, miscarriage - so I just want to push on through! We are obviously absolutely devastated by the miscarriage, but that’s made us more determined than ever to get back in the saddle and just get the eff on with Project Baby

We don’t find the tx itself stressful, as the bits in between when we’re just in the waiting room, kicking our heels till we can get on with the DOING again

Sadly we’ve both had enough grief over the last 3 years (loss of a parent, family breakdown, loss of (several very young) friends and family) so we’re pretty resilient, and know we can dust ourselves off and just plough on with life.  

My Mum often said that when people said ‘You’re so strong!’ or ‘You’re so brave!’ when she was doing chemo etc that it seemed somehow wrong, as she wasn’t choosing to do something requiring bravery - she had no choice but to get on with it, or else you just give up.

I don’t think we are particularly strong, I just think that we have to do whatever we have to do to try and have a family of our own.  DH always says it’s not ‘if’ but ‘how’ we have a family, as there are of course many ways to become parents. So I just hope the appt with the consultant helps us get a plan of action

I’ve already gone and got a load of tests done, to save time for him having to order them, so I can come in with the results already, haha. Thyroid function, ureaplasma and mycoplasma, going to have my level 2 immunes bloods drawn on Monday - Dr has no idea about any of this, he'll get a surprise when I give him a pile of test results!!

Just waiting for the BFPs to fade, as my body still hasn’t got the message that the baby isn’t there any more. Never thought I’d be so sad to see a BFP and so desperate to see a BFN!

Wishing you all the very best with the next step of your journey, whatever that may be

xx


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## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

Hi ladies, just following up with a quick update

3+ weeks post ERPC and I am still getting blazing BFPs. Saw Dr for a scan this morning: no retained products, no damage to lining apparent, nothing left behind, we know there was no sign of a molar pregnancy, so there doesn’t seem to be anything sinister going on. Had bloods done, will have results when we’re back in on Monday for our post-ERPC follow up, so we can see where we stand. 

I have a hunch that he’s had the results of the tissue testing back, and knows the miscarriage was definitely due to chromosomal abnormalities (which was always the most likely cause), as he was v much in favour of my suggestion of doing another fresh cycle so we can do PGS, and leaving our four frosties on the subs bench. He was v relaxed about other factors (thyroid slightly elevated, ureaplasma came back positive) and seemed confident they wouldn’t have been the root cause of the m/c.  We'll find out on Monday when he gives DH & I the results, so we shall see.

So, hopefully my hormones will get a blimmin move on and sort themselves out, as Dr said as soon as they’re back to normal, we can go again ASAP. I assume when I get a natural AF we can rock 'n' roll, but maybe as long as hormones are at the right levels we can bring on a bleed as needed. Anyway, will find out more on Monday. All being well, could be stimming again within the next few weeks! 

So, so, so relieved Dr isn't making us wait for months and months. He said it was up to us when we felt emotionally ready, but physically, my ovaries had been well rested since the stims in Jan, and we won't be putting anything back for a good couple of months so there's time for my uterus to recover.

We'll either be transferring in a FET immediately after the fresh, if we get enough blasts to do PGS straight away. If not, we'll biopsy the embryos and bank them in the freezer, do another round of stims, and batch together the biopsies from both rounds to do PGS, and then transfer in a FET as before.

So no transfer for a while, but hopefully can get going on the stims very soon!


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## Bellev (Mar 29, 2016)

Hi bananafish81,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my little baby at 10 weeks too at the end of January and had an ERPC the next day. Everyone advised me to wait one cycle before starting again. Which I did and I'm currently in the 2ww. I was desperate to try again as soon as I could.

I was absolutely devastated when I miscarried and I still am but I'm getting older and so are my eggs so I do not have the luxury of time. I'm not sure how I'll cope if I get a bpn but somehow I think I'll cope with a bpn better than if I miscarry again. But who knows, it's a very personal thing and everyone copes with it differently. I wish you all the best for the future


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## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

Wishing you all the luck in the world Bellev, hope your 2ww is going OK and everything crossed for a BFP and bouncing bubba 9 months later  

I'm going in for a hysteroscopy on Weds to end the neverending miscarriage (6 weeks post ERPC and counting) - must be still some tiny fragments of retained tissue that can't be seen on ultrasound, as I'm still getting BFPs. Beta tomorrow to confirm levels & in for the hysto the following day. Once hCG levels are zero will start stims asap

xx


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## Bellev (Mar 29, 2016)

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope everything goes ok on Wednesday and you are able to start again soon.
Thank you for your well wishing..  I hope the same for you


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## Uber Barrens Club (Jun 6, 2015)

Hi Bellev

I’m so very sorry to see your updated sig, my heart is aching for you and your DP. Really really really hope you guys can be kind to each other. Thinking of you both

Wishing you much love and happiness for the journey ahead


My little update is pretty insignificant compared to what you guys have been going through the last 2 weeks

The hysteroscopy last Weds went well, thank you very much. There was a very small fragment of retained tissue - small enough that it wasn’t visible on ultrasound - which my consultant removed (and the uterine biopsy will serve as a sort of turbo endometrial scratch). I’m now finally getting BFNs on HPT so am hoping that hCG must be pretty close to zero now?! 

Getting bloods done on Weds, so we can then get me in for a scan accordingly, and ascertain the ideal time to start stims. So hopefully soon!!


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## Bellev (Mar 29, 2016)

Hi bananafish81,

We were pretty devastated when we got the BFN but it wasn't the same feeling as the miscarriage or not as bad. We have decided to take a break for a few months, we have to anyway as they wont let you start again straight away. We are going on holiday at the end of June and then we will try again after that. We have had our 2 NHS cycles so we are looking into options whether to change clinics or stay where we are and prices etc...it's all a bit of a mine field!

Thank goodness you are finally getting somewhere. How awful for you that this has gone on for so long. I really hope you are close to being able to start again. Wishing you all the best for your next cycle


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