# How can I build self up and be positive for next cycle,soooooooo down in dumps



## semma (May 5, 2006)

Hi
I'm due to start my 2nd ivf treatment in jan/feb but dreading the thought of my eggs not being mature again and the ivf drugs sending my emotions threw the roof.  I have never felt so rock bottom and disinterested in xmas, friends, family etc. I keep thinking, if only I'd got to ET, at least I could say I was in with a 50/50 chance.  (never got past EC as all 10 eggs were immature).  What if I put myself through it again, the drugs sent me off my head last time, only to get the same result.  How will I cope then? I want so much to feel different, but just feel totally deflated and depressed.  I know there are lots and lots of women on ff who have experienced similar or worse than me, how do you all cope?  I'm my own worse enemy as have cut myself off form people who care, but I'm just so angry all the time and most of my friends are pregnant now anyway.
Please help someone, I'm desperate
E


----------



## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

Hey,

I am only just starting out so I can't really give you any experience to help, but I wanted to post just so that you knew that someone was thinking of you at least!

From what I understand this journey is so emotional and difficult at times, and when I am faced with tough times I really try to keep everything in the day, what can I do today to help? Can I do anything about tomorrow today? If not then I try and not go there in my head. The thing is that we don't know what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or next month, and worrying about it today doesn't change what will happen, the only thing that will change it is doing the next right thing. I hope that helps, I am sure that you know all that but for me sometimes it helps to be reminded. And hopefully I will remember it for myself as I continue on this jounrey.

 
bingbong x


----------



## dottiep (Nov 20, 2007)

Hi Semma

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I don't think this time of year helps for us single girls.
I know very well how hard it is to keep mustering the strength & positivity for every next tx but try to focus on the end result and why you're doing this.  Do share your feelings with someone too - either a close friend and/or us!
Rose has made some good suggestions - I had some hypnotherapy & acupuncture - whatever works for you really.

Has your clinic given you any idea why your eggs were immature?  It might be worth asking if you should modify your diet or take extra vits??  

Best of luck for your next tx - we are here to support.

Take care
Dottie
x


----------



## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Semma,

Sending you a huge  . Can't say I know exactly how you feel since I've been lucky enough to get a good crop of eggs on both cycles. But having said that, 3 months ago I was looking forward to being nearly 20 weeks pregnant at Christmas and thinking it was my last childless Christmas, only for it all to fall apart and I am now facing my 3rd fresh IVF (and 7th tx cycle of some description) in January. And sometimes it's very very hard to pick yourself up and go on with it. I'm not sure whether I'm more scared of getting a negative on my next cycle, or more scared of it working and then going wrong again. What I am sure of is that I want a family, and so I keep pushing myself onwards thinking of that. 

I think we all cope in our different ways. Funnily enough for me, one of the things which keeps me going is spending lots of time with my nieces and nephew. My youngest niece is just 4 months old (my sister told me she was pregnant with her on the same day I told her I was going to start ttc with donor insemination. And here we are, a year later and she's got a beautiful little girl and I'm still trying...) and although I know some people who are still ttc find it difficult to spend time with children/babies, for me it's actually one of the things which helps. 

The other things which work for me are exercise, not drinking alcohol (I'm prone to mild depression anyway and alcohol only makes it worse - plus it doesn't help with ttc anyway) and generally taking it easy and not working too hard/getting too stressed. I did try counselling but it wasn't really for me - but if you haven't given it a try, could be worth it at least to see if it helps.
And it goes without saying that the thing which probably helps most of all is having the wonderful single girls on here to rant to/shout at/cry with etc. Just knowing that there are other people going through the same thing and that I am not completely alone, is a great help and support. 

And finally, having a plan always helps. I felt at my lowest after the ERPC when I didn't know when I could try again. Now that I have a plan I feel that at least I'm moving in the right direction. So definitely talk to your clinic about what you can do differently on the next cycle to improve egg maturity - and maybe have a search on FF too and see if there are any threads about it...I find often the personal experiences of people here, are actually better than the rather theoretical advice you sometimes get from your consultant. 

I do hope you feel a bit brighter soon, take care, 
Suitcase
x


----------



## Lou-Ann (Apr 20, 2008)

Semma, just wanted to send you  's. I haven't been through any tx yet so can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling. Hopefully your clinic has noted what happened on your last tx cycle and will make changes to your tx plan this time.  

Lou-Ann x


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I have never bothered with IUI as we had a low sperm count issue, but I can empathise how awful the feeling is when you don't get to ET either with immature eggs or other reason (this has happened to me twice).  I had counselling after my 2 nd cycle (immature eggs). Take care, hypnotherapy also helped me.

You have to be in the right frame of mind and a positive attitude and think onwards and upwards as we all will get out baby one day
L x


----------

