# New here and frustrated



## Sariele (Sep 18, 2015)

Hi, I'm an Aussie expat living in England. My DH and I have an 18 month old DS who is a result of our 5th ICSI stim cycle, using anonymous donor sperm. I returned to Australia this month alone with our DS to have two of our frozen blasties transferred. I'm 7dp5dt and I am getting stark white BFNs on FRER, so I know according to their stats, I'm 98% definitely out of the running. Beta isn't til Wed. I return to England in a week, with my metaphorical tail between my legs. 

I'm not overly crushed now (I was yesterday), but so frustrated, because I just don't know what we're going to do next. We have a dodgy day 6 blasty still frozen, but I think we might let that one go the next time our storage fees roll around. We still have 2 vials of donor sperm on ice as well, and our lab director said they could probably stretch that out over four stim cycles if necessary. However, our clinic is in Brisbane, and after this FET there is no way I would attempt to arrange a cycle from overseas again, it was far too much trouble, and the only reason we could do it anyway is because we get one paid flight back to Aus every year courtesy of DH's work. So I wouldn't be able to do it for another year. We've talked about moving back to Aus early next year, but even if we do, our base is in Perth, a 5 hour flight from Brisbane, so it would still be very difficult. And if we don't move back in the foreseeable future, I don't think we can justify doing IVF in England. Having a child already, we'd be paying full cost, and even though we have enough savings for up to maybe 3 stim cycles, we are concerned about spending so much money when there are of course no guarantees. Plus we'd have to choose a new donor, which my DH says he doesn't care about, but I'd have to come to terms with, as any potential child wouldn't be a full sibling for our DS, which I would prefer for various reasons.

But at the same time I can't just do nothing. We are both desperate for a second child to complete our family, and my eggs are not getting any better... for some reason I have bad eggs, even though my specialist is stumped as to why. I was only 31 when I started treatment, and I needed 3 months of DHEA and Saizen shots during stims to finally get us over the line the first time around. I'm now 34 so who knows how bad things have gotten in there already.

Anyway, I'm sorry for such a long whingey post being my introduction to the forum, but I needed to vent, and was hoping for some form of solidarity from fellow ART peeps in the same country that I currently live in!


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## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

Can you not get the sperm shipped to the UK?  
And what about the 3 cycles money back guarantee with access? X


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## Sariele (Sep 18, 2015)

We can, and I asked my clinic about it, but it would be yet another expense. 

I will look into the other, thanks. I hadn't heard of that, but then I don't know much about doing IVF in any countries other than Aus.


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## Wishings15 (Mar 27, 2015)

I'm not sure if it differs much. I think Access is good but it depends on how many cyles you want to go through.

I'm not sure about costs in AUS but the UK is certainly more expensive than Greece/Europe. Im thinking about Serum in Greece overseas after nhs, but then with sperm being shipped it might be different.

I hope you've settled in the UK ok - I don't think I could've gone through two failed cycles without FFS
XX


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## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

If you are still in your 2ww and have 5/6 days until your OTD, why are you posting in this section?  Is there still not time for you to get a BFP?

X


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## Sariele (Sep 18, 2015)

staceysm said:


> Hi,
> 
> If you are still in your 2ww and have 5/6 days until your OTD, why are you posting in this section? Is there still not time for you to get a BFP?
> 
> X


Realistically, no. FRER are extremely sensitive. I once had a "chemical" (you could barely even call it that) where I got a very faint line on one and my hcg that day was only 6. My friend got a photographable line when her hcg was only 4! I'm not even seeing the faintest suggestion of a ghost line, and even if I did get one now, it would not bode well for the pregnancy. Late implantation usually means the emby is chromosomally abnormal and you'll most likely lose it.

Plus, I know how I felt when I got pregnant last time, and even though I didn't really have "symptoms" as such, I didn't feel completely, 100% normal in every way like I do right now. So that plus negative HPTs equals not pregnant.

Would be extremely happy to be proven wrong though.


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