# Anyone with unexplained infertility trying naturally again after failed IVF???



## mrsc75

Hi girls.
Im in a bit of a limbo state at the moment.  My DH and I have decided that we arent going to have any more IVF after a bit of a disastrous three years.  I myself am convinced that in that three years if we hadn't messed around with it all so much and maybe had the opportunity for more baby dancing instead of all the procedures that we might not have ended up here.
We had already started looking into adoption but I have realised I'm not ready to stop thinking about trying for our own child yet and because its unexplained then maybe theres a chance for us.
I realise we will have to move on soon but this feels like my last year, I'm 40 in June. 
Has anyone else been down this road


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## Greengirl72

Hi, I'm off to the clinic tonight to talk about our failed only cycle of IVF, (only 1 egg, embryo A class but didn't work).  Unless some miracle conversation happens tonight we aren't really up for having another go...too much money that we don't have.  I have said DE to my ptr, but he isn't keen on it, and seems to prefer to think of the adoption route.  

As much as we would love to have our own child, I am old in fertility terms and the whole IVF is a throw of the dice.  You can do as much as possible to give your body the best shot, but if the egg or sperm aren't at their best, it is either a donor or another option.  Or having a lovely big fat bank account and just keep going until it sticks.  Friend got pregnant on the 7th go, but that was in Oz where they don't charge like here.  That is just it...you could get pregnant on the 1st or the 20th.  It is like gambling and we just can't justify so much money for this dream.  We are a happy couple and know that we will be happy with or without our own child.  So I guess the decision is a little easier for us.  If we didn't think we would be happy just the two of us, then we would be thinking differently about trying again.

I would have a look at DE before you close any door on IVF if you think you really want the experience of pregnancy and early motherhood.  I've got friends who have adopted and say it is the most rewarding and amazing experience, but they were ready to adopt. x


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## Greengirl72

Oh and should have said that we are going back to trying naturally.  It appears that I haven't ovulated (pee sticks) this month.  We did IVF last month. So we are back to trying naturally.  Because I had only 1 egg - no more than I would have normally - I think we have just as best shot as IVF as we have 'unexplained fertility'.  I also feel a lot healthier than before the IVF as I was so focused on my diet and general well being.


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## mrsc75

Hi Girls,
Thanks for your replies.
Just goes to show what an effect all of this has on us.  

Im back to looking at adoption now.  For us DE isnt an option as I've loads of bloody eggs they just won't stick.
I know that if i had more IVF theres a pretty good chance one would stick one day (maybe two or three goes down the line though) but theres also a chance it wont. So other than a surprise miracle I think I need to accept that its unlikely I'll be a birth mother.  I do think that my eggs are old and thats why they wont stick either, im nearly 40 now so reaching a bit of a crossroads I think!

We are at the moment trying to enjoy life and concentrate on gathering a bit of info se we can decide which agency or LA we would like to go with.  

Good luck girls, unexplained infertility is the pits xxx


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## Ashaa

Hi all

Mrsc75 I am in a very similar situation, 
Unexplained  secondary infertility. Three failed IVfs. I want to try again but DH says we can't afford it anymore.  

Couldn't believe he didn't want to try again.  So now I don't have a choice and we are trying naturally. Four years  have passed  and my heart tells me at the age of 42  it is very unlikely  that I will become pregnant naturally.  I just don't have any other option.  Trying naturally is my only option. 

The last few months gave been hell. Trying to accept my DD won't have a sibling, it's choking me, periods of deep depression, numbness, followed by fleeting moments of acceptance. It's a vicious cycle. I just don't know how I live like this every day.  I don't feel human let alone a woman.  My DD keeps me sane. Thank goodness. 

Good luck with your choices.

X


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## Mimik50

Hello Ladies .am new to the forum and what brought me here is wanting to find hope.or rather knowing am not being silly by continuing to be hopeful .with 2 failed ivfs and at the age of 38 in April ,life feels too lonely and thank you all for that little bit of hope l have found in reading your posts weather your trying naturally or adoption ,this all just shows there is always a way if u seek .


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## SleepyT

Ladies I've just had a failed IVF in January / test date was 4th Feb and was BFN.
Utterly devastated as I felt even though we are "Unexplainders" there is just some reason that it doesn't happen and no amount of IVF is going to tell us why or change the fact. Is there any point in further assisted conception we asked ourselves. 

I posted a thread just like this looking for some success stories of natural BFPs after failed treatment.
I too am 38 in April but on the back of the treatment I thought I'd go for it, bought the ovulation kit and we gave it a go in Feb. 
I've just got my first ever natural BFP. I've no idea how long this will last, my crystal ball is not working and I've no idea how it will go but for now, we are in total shock and amazement because we now know it can happen. We've been trying for 10 years! I'm not letting myself get over excited, I've read enough over the years to know how many things can go wrong. It's so early.
But it's given me such confidence that the miracle can happen - and it should give you confidence too


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## sunshine and clouds

Congratulations SleepyT! How inspiring. So pleased for you x


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## Talkingfrog

Hello all,  glad I have seen this post. Ashaa -  you have summed up my feelings perfectly. 

We had our dd as a result of icsi, and she will be 4 soon.  Unexplained fertility - was told  I hadn't ovulated on one test (but I think it was too early in my cycle) and DH has mixed test results (ranging from no hope to normal)

I would love her to have a sibling, but at the time when I had planned to cycle for a sibling (if things didn't happen naturally) we did not feel ready. Our cycle last (about 18 months later than I planned) July resulted in a BFN.  

We had only intended to have one go (unless there were frosties), but at the time I wanted to have another go so we gave ourselves time to think things over.  We decided that we would stay as things were and not have another go. We were lucky to have been successful on our first go with our dd, neither of us were getting younger (I was 40, DH 42), how would we feel if it failed again and it was a lot of money if we failed again.  I threw myself into moving DD into a new bedroom, the build up to christmas and the possibility of a promotion in work.  I also kept focussing on all the things we could do if I wasn't pregnant or didn't have another baby to take care off.  

I stopped taking folic acid etc and felt that if I didn't really try naturally  I would not be disappointed when AF arrived. Now we are nearing what would have been my due date and I am all over the place. I feel as if there are things I would like to do differently so need to have another try and throw everything at it.  Another part of me thinks that age is not on our side (although my egg reserve seemed good) and based on how I feel now, would I be able to deal with things if we didn't have another go so I really don't know which way to turn.  

Have a few weeks to decide if we want the clinic to continue to store the sperm that we have there ( it was take before our first cycle incase there was a problem getting a sample on the day - thought it might help dh relax more if he knew that there was a back up)  because after 12 months there is a charge.


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