# Dilema with match



## fingerscrossed2 (Aug 8, 2007)

I really don't know where to start this post as i don't want to come across as picky and...oh i don't know what I'm trying to say     I have just spoken to the hospital and although it is not definite they think they may have a match. I asked for the match to be as close to my characteristic ts as possible as my partners genes would be there anyway. For the second time now all details of the donor are close to mine except the BMI whereas mine is 19 the donor is 26 so there is quite a difference ...as i said i don't want to seem picky or ungrateful as this is not the case at all, but as I'm sure you have all experienced it was a hard decision to make and i want it to be as close as possible...or am i being unreasonable     please can someone advise or share their experience as i don't want to make the wrong choice.

 F xx


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Hi FC2, just popping in to refer you to a couple of threads where a discussion on donor matching has come up recently - though the characteristics that others prioritise here are different from your own, you might find the resulting discussions helpful. Sorry, will have to do this as two posts to get the other thread copied in.

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=204331.0


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

...and here's the other!

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=197474.270

Hope this helps with your dilemma. 

A-Mx


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## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

Hello!

It's important that you feel completely happy with your choice and if BMI is that important to you then you maybe you could ask if the clinic can find a match that is closer to your BMI?  Would you be willing to compromise on any other characteristics to make the match e easier?

One thing that occured to me when reading you post was that I have a very different BMI to my Mum and we are genetically related and my SIL has a very (very!) different BMI to her mum so you can't be certain that your child will be similar in that way even if the match is better.  I guess that's the same for everything though, even things like eye colour.  Hmmmm, ignore me I'm rambling!  

Best of luck with your tx, 
P xx


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Hi 

I just wanted to add my mum is 5ft 2inchs and a size 6 and im 5ft 6 and a size 18 which is smallest i've ever been lol 

I dont look like either of my parents in anyway lol

Hope you find the answers you need.  

EM x


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## going it alone (Feb 11, 2006)

I can understand your concerns. I am from a family where the daughters of daughters are all big, my dad's side of the family on the otherhand can eat anything, I take after my mum. When given the option of three donors, I asked for the slimmest, my way of giving them the best chance. Who knows if it will work, it didn't for my mum as my dad is still slim at 67. I am now trying to lose weight before the girls get any older and try my best to bring the girls up to have a healthy attitude towards eating. There has been a large bit of research recently and the finding are that daughter tend to follow mothers and sons follow fathers and the findings suggested that it was behaviours that were copied where eating was concerned rather than pure genetics.
Love to all 
Sam x


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## Lentil (Jun 3, 2008)

Hi Ladies 

I am new to all this but have just read a little about Epigenetics on one of the DE threads....maybe take a look as its really interesting and it may help you? Basically from what I have scan read so far it says that the birth mother activates the genes in the emby and makes some stronger and some weaker even though the donor's genes are there. 

Let me know if you dont find it! 
xx


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