# So...turns out that (in)fertility is all i can think about!



## Bettyville (Oct 2, 2015)

Hi Ladies,
I desperately need some advice -we've just had our first failed IVF cycle and our fertility issues (unexplained) is all i can think about! It's all i ever google, think about + it's also having an impact on me at work - i easily lose concentration / can't stay focused.

It's been 4 long years for us TTC #1 and with 3 failed IUI's, 1 failed IVF + falling into the unexplained category - it's becoming an obsession. 

Anyone have any ideas of how to stop this!
Thank you xx


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## Ditzygirl (Jun 8, 2016)

This is exactly how I was after our failed cycle. Allow yourself the time on Google, but try to put a limit on it. Write a list of stuff you enjoy doing then, when you want a distraction, do something from the list. xx


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## Ditzygirl (Jun 8, 2016)

P.s. big hugs to you. xx


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## Bettyville (Oct 2, 2015)

Thank you Ditzy. It's just a nightmare and it's really starting to affect my performance at work - I've always been on top of everything but with the IVF, I struggle to concentrate and retain anything! 

I have my review appt following my failed ivf this week so I think that's really playing in my mind + af is due any day now so that too is also winding me up. I just wish there was a way to stop thinking about it all - have counselling in a couple of weeks and hope that helps me!!!

Good luck for your cycle in Jan xx


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## KnittyGritty (Apr 17, 2015)

Do you have a hobby?  If not why not take one up? Crochet or knitting are usually very popular.


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## Bettyville (Oct 2, 2015)

Thanks Knitty Gritty.

Yoga is my main hobby but it turns out that i'm too tired / don't have enough time when i get home every evening after work. I usually don't get home until after 7pm and then cooking / prepping lunch for the next day + relaxing takes me to about 9.30 by which time i'm so tired but you're right, i need to re-focus my energy!


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## Devon-32 (Oct 11, 2016)

Hi,

You are most certainly not alone. It is such an uncertain and upsetting time it is totally to be expected it is what is on your mind most of the time.
I am the same with work I find it almost an inconvenience that I have to do something other than researching whatever stage I am currently at! I try and remind myself that my job is the only reason I can afford a baby and without it having one would not be an option. I also try and limit my googling and forum time to specific times of the day so during lunch and after dinner. You may or may not find you hit a wall where you have googled enough. I found this about a week ago. I had talked obsessively at my partner and googled and read every situation I could think of to the point even I was fed up. I listed all the positive things in my life either now or in the future with or without a baby and found it gave me some peace. I still think about it and google but not as obsessively as I did. Talking to someone other than your partner who has been through it really helps. I found this to be the turning point for me. I have just started downreg no 1 and feeling positive but also realistic. Try to be kind to yourself - best advice I got was treat yourself like you would a friend going through this. We tend to be tougher on ourselves than others.

I hope you find a way to help and get your energy back
x


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## Ditzygirl (Jun 8, 2016)

Thanks Betty. I found my review appointment was a real turning point for me. It gave me closure that I didn't realise I needed. Meant to also say, have you tried a support group? I went to one recently and I found it helpful. Best of luck to you. xx


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## pollita (Feb 23, 2011)

Same here. I started my first IVF in summer 2015 and since then it's all I can think about. I go through brief periods of focusing on other things, I throw myself into my business or diet & exercise but it's like everytime I get online I am on here or google. 

I'm struggling so much.


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