# Surrogacy support



## Hope412 (Mar 29, 2013)

Hi, my husband and I are IPs looking for a traditional surrogate. Over the past year we have had two matches which sadly didn't work out. It's been very difficult having our hopes built up only to be let down. Despite joining various groups etc, it's so difficult waiting and hoping that we'll find the right person to help us. I would welcome any words of wisdom / encouragement etc from other IPs or SMs. Thank you xx


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## Rowan22 (Dec 29, 2008)

Hi Hope,

Which agencies are you with or are you using various online groups?
I can sympathise with the endless wait and the hope that just gets less and less. We're with COTS and we aren't far off the two year mark but so far there's only been one possibility and this particular surro decided she didn't want to work with us after the first meeting. I don't know why, what went wrong and there's that awful feeling that this might have been the one and only possibility so I know exactly where you're coming from. 
People on the COTS forum say that if the match isn't right it's better to know sooner rather than later, which is true, I suppose but that doesn't help when you're flung back to square one yet again. 
The real problem is the legal position of surrogacy in this country and the fact that agencies can't be run on a business footing as they are in America. You have to hothouse friendship and it's so awkward and really, so artifical. If we had any friends who could help us, I'm surethey would have. 
Anyway, just to let you know we're in your shoes. We're going to give up if we're still not matched when the renewal fees are due again. We've spent ten years of our lives chasing this dream and my health has worsened, probably at least partly due to all the stress and heartache. Bit of a gloomy posting, sorry but at least you can see you're not alone. xx


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## Nikki146 (Apr 9, 2014)

Hi, ladies! Understand what are talking about, I went through all this too and understand that it is probably impossible to do everything by ourselves. We with DH tried to find SM by ourselves, 2 failed attempts, we paid money and mother just disappeared(( It was hard bcz we really lost our hope for positive result. Than in a year we understood that it is waste of time and money, that if we turned to the agency we have a baby already for the same price. In our case to understand it was better later than never. We turned to the agency and they matched us with our mother and in 9 months we became parents. After all the hell we went through it was so unbelievable and easy. the only thing I can say after everything what  we had that it is worth to turn to the right agency with acceptable prices. Don't hope for internet, groups and forums,just act bcz you loose your time searching for "ghosts" when you can spend this time with your child. Wish you luck!


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## Lara1673 (Feb 28, 2014)

agree with Nikki!
don't waste time looking for surrogate yourself. most ppl fail.
i also can't carry myself. looked through thousands forums, sites etc.
decided to go to ua for surrogacy program. prices are affordable especially when you take into concideration that everything except flight tickets is included into price.


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## sukama (Apr 5, 2014)

Hi

I am a surrogate for a couple of IP's - we had our embryo transfer today at 2:30pm so now in the exciting two week wait period! 

We were matched through an agency, which I feel is better than trying to go it alone if you don't have friends/family who could help.  One word of advice though, not all agencies are reputable even those with a high social media profile...

Good luck in your journey, it will happen!

Suzanne x


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