# Anyone ttc with a HIV+ partner?



## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi All

I am about to start the sperm-washing-and-basting process in the new year, with my partner who's been positive for 7 years (and undetectable).

Although I'm sad we can't try it the "normal" way I think it will also help me as I have PCOS, a fibroid and already suffered a miscarriage.

Is there anyone else on here in a similar situation?

Thanks for reading, and fingers crossed for BFP's all around!
BC


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Hi 

Good luck with your journey- i think I saw someone posting on here when I first joined (June-ish) about treatment and  HIV- maybe if you put it in the search facility it will help you find them,

Fingers crossed for you- 

Livity K x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Thanks Livity

I did try and type HIV into the search box, but all the posts it found related to ppl having tests for it...
No need for my OH for that, as we already know he has it - and also HepC.

As a matter of fact he and his ex tried IVF (unsuccessfully) before he went into interferon treatment, so I definitely think there must be others in the same place as us.

Looking forward to chat!
Broody x


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Hi Broody Chick,
I had a look and think I've found the thread I was thinking of, hope this link works

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=205688.0

Hope this is helpful to you,

Livity K x


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

BC and welcome to Fertility Friends 

I'm sorry to read of your miscarriage   There's an area within FF where you can talk to other ladies who have also sadly lost their little ones, you might find it a comfort to talk to them? *Pregnancy loss ~ *CLICK HERE
I've also had a quick search for you on ttc with HIV and sperm washing but like you say the results to the searches are for having the actual HIV test. (I'll keep my eyes peeled though in the mean time)

Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*PCOS ~ *CLICK HERE

*Fibroid Problems ~ *CLICK HERE

Hopefully some of these questions may be useful to you ... *Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

*Keep a diary of your treatment ~ * 
CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Thank you, that is very helpful!

I am excited and just a bit scared about what may happen in January, and it's great to have the support from everyone on here.
xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hiya Broody,   I think with a lot of surfing on FF and making friends you'll feel a bit more at ease by January   Keep in touch x


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

Welcome to FF. I don't remember seeing anything related to your search but you would imagine that there would be alot of people in your situation. Good Luck.
I hope you find lots of support and mke lots of new friends here.
armi
x


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi & welcome to FF 

You've definitely come to the right place for support  

I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of advise but I remember there was a member who was HIV+ and looking into IVF....slightly different situation to you I appreciate but maybe worth having a read of the thread and if you click on their username you can scroll through previous old posts of theirs or send them a personal message (PM)...here's the link to the thread...

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=181180.0

Wishing you lots of luck 
Natasha


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

I just wnt and clicked on the thread and the person has been active on the TTC thread in November. Hopefully you might also get some suport there.


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Minxy and Armi

I just PM'd them and hope for a response, apparently this isn't such a hot topic as I'd expected it to be!

Maybe that is a good sign because it means people are successful in their treatment quickly, and don't need support through this forum.
If anyone is in a similar situation I'd still really like to hear from you though, as it appears such a taboo!?

Or perhaps everyone who wants a baby is just going by the findings of the Swiss Study (which shows that "undetectable" HIV carriers are not infectious) and don't bother consulting a clinic...?

My partner is adamant that he wants to protect my health as much as possible though, so we are being ultra safe.

Thanks for reading! xx


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

oh Broody just sent you loads of bubbles. I guess it is not such a hot topic. 

Have you looked to see the last posts of the postes to see how many days since they have been online. It imght bethat they have not been around. 

I really wish i knew what to suggest. 

What part of the country are you in Broody?


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Thanks Armi! Glad to finally have some bubbles to my name... 

I am in London, going to go to St Barts. My DP is getting our referral today, I am sooo excited!

Had a bit of an "issue" last night about last name, as we're not married I assumed our baby will automatically be called after me, but it looks like we'll go for the double-barrelled option - further down the (BFP) line - fingers crossed!

So you're in London too, and have a little girl? It's very inspiring reading all the stories on here.
Have a nice day xx


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

You could also do the not quite double barrel, ie putting DP sirname as the middle name...So don't hyphonate..I double barrelled my name for 10 years or o and then got fed up and dropped my maiden name. 
I have been to Kings and ow am at Guys. Barts for baby number 3. LOL

To save time call DP  and ask him to get refferal to bring home so you can delivr it yourself. It will make things quicker as when you are at the hospital withyour letter you can fill forms in . I learnt this a lot of time is wasted in the postage of letters to and fro..

Stay in touch.
x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Wow, good tips, thanks!

xx


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

You are welcome.


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## Lynschez (Oct 24, 2008)

Hi Broody - just wanted to wish you all the very best on your journey.

If you have a look on the IUI thread there is a recent post about IUI with HIV, which might help you connect with people in a similar situation.

Lots of     &    to you and DH

Lyns x x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Hi Ladies,

happy new year!

I have some great news, DP and I got engaged at Christmas    and are now really looking forward to the first IUI appointment.

Irritatingly he got a letter today saying the clinic hadn't received a referral in both of our names (?!??) and that I also have to separately make a Dr's appointment in order to get another referral letter.
This is really annoying as I thought it was all in hand and I only just saw my GP before Christmas. Of course they should have passed my name along with his, after all it is DF (Darling Fiancé ) who is the reason we are being transferred in the first place.

Fingers crossed all goes to plan and my boss isn't going to start wondering why I keep running off to the Doctor's...


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## livity k (May 19, 2009)

Congrats on your engagement- Are you walking round with a big grin all the time??

enjoy and good luck with your treatment,

K x


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Thanks guys!
Yes, a grin... and a ring! Once I get it back from the re-sizing that is. It was a bit too large (the ring, not the stone - the diamond's a perfect size) 

Frustratingly we got a letter today saying there is a delay with our referral due to them "losing" my name or whatever, I now have to make another GP appointment just to ask for a referral too!

Man, I am really annoyed by that, as if I didn't know my partner is having us referred for IUI!

The letter says (word for word - notice the dodgy commas and semi colons): 
"Unfortunately we have only received details for yourself and not of your partner. Ideally couples are referred together as, of course; assisted conception requires participation from both partners"
No sh*t Sherlock!

He emailed my name to them previously and also asked his HIV doc in their appointment to make this referral. OF COURSE he will turn up with a girl, he will hardly get pregnant on his own.
Seeing as I have no known fertility issues, this should be self explanatory why he got the referral, not me.

DUH!!


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

congratulations Broodychick. Ahh I remember the days of being blissfully in love.


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## PDJ (Aug 18, 2009)

Hi Broodychick,
I've emailed you but saw your post afterwards regarding the delay. That's truley crappy if you've psyched yourself up to start.  Sounds a bit daft to me as I'm sure we were refered by hubbies HIV specialist with just his name as we weren't yet married at  that time.  I hope they sort it out for you soon.   

Have fun planning the wedding


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## BroodyChick (Nov 30, 2009)

Had two attempts au naturale... BFN 
Still waiting for the clinic to get back to us with a date!

They are busy busy busy but it is soo frustrating, and there is always a small risk involved without the spinning procedure first, so that probably adds to the worry too.

Anyhow, thank you for all you ladies who've been in touch, preggers or on the journey there - it is so encouraging to read that it worked naturally for some of you, and you also remain HIV - 

Love and babydust to all, come and share your news!


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