# Spanner in the works, we've stopped having sex.



## top_cat (Sep 26, 2011)

Hello everyone, I've been a member for a while and never felt the need to post but we're in a bit of a situation. We have recently been referred for IVF. We havent had an 'intervention' since January as our consultant decided there was nothing left to do but move on to IVF. We then had to wait until April to be officially referred as that was our 3 year mark. I have PCOS and erratic cycles and I was really positive at the beginning of March, I got all of my stuff together and decided to use the CBFM, sticks and thermometer. I didn't ovulate, again, and I've jsut given up on the sex. I finally strated another cycle a couple of weeks ago but I just can't bring myself to even try. We recieved a copy of the letter to our GP today which says we will be referred when all the test results are in, we had most done before our appointment but the sperm analysis won't be done until 10th May, so that's more waiting time. I know it's not long now but I'm really upset.

Any ideas on how I can get over this mental block, I feel really bad for my husband.

TC x


----------



## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

a break won't hurt! really when we were ttc for the last three years it all became very mechanical, all the fun went out of it! so much expectation/pressure on the situation... 
don't beat yourself up about what you should or shouldn't be doing, just try and have situations where you can relax together. if it turns into sex great and if it doesn't, don't worry. trying to panic about it or trying to make it happen will just backfire.. make sure DH feels appreciated in other ways, favourite meal, whatever. if he's chasing you for sex and you feel pressured into saying yes but don't think you're in the mood just push for getting a backrub instead or whatever you would like.. you never know, he might change your mind! IT was just such a relief for us when we knew we were starting IVF and could have sex for fun rather than ttc..


----------



## top_cat (Sep 26, 2011)

Thank you for replying, I was in a bit of a state when I wrote the post. I realise now that it hasn't actually been that long and it won't hurt, I think because my last cycle was so long it felt like such a long time. I'm going to think up some ways of relaxing together.

Thanks, 

TC x


----------

