# newbie told i will never have child naturally cant afford ivf



## want to live the dream (Jun 9, 2011)

hi,
i am new to the site so bare with me,i am 37years old, i have recently been told i will not have a baby naturally this is due to my tubes being tangled and they have kinks in them i have had surgery twice to untangle tubes but scar tissue has now made them worse i was told on the 6th may the sad news and I'm absolutely gutted, i really don't know how to deal with the news nor can i except it we are not in a financial way to be able to pay for ivf and do not meet criteria for a go on nhs due to my husband having a 14year old from a previous relationship although he doesn't get to see her due to his ex being a well wont go into that. I think the rules for ivf stink as i feel that every women who has not got any children of their own should be able to have ivf, i was given this website by fertility uk as i went Dr yesterday for some help with this and they put me in touch with a support group which is helping a little my family and husband are brilliant but both my sisters and my sister in law have children so i feel they don't know how i feel even though they are trying there bestest to understand love them all to bits and love my husband more than the world its self.


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## H&amp;P (Feb 19, 2009)

koffers -  have you thought of appealing against the decision for NHS funding especially as the issue is with you and not your husband, there is info on how to appeal on the link below, it's got to be worth a shot.

http://infertilitynetworkuk.com/?id=6264


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## hopefull LM (Jun 6, 2011)

Hi there 

really sorry to hear your news i am 27 and its my bf who can not have kids we have to pay for treatment and it is not cheap we are working all the hours to save as we want a family... try and stay positive i know its hard more so when you have to pay for a family the nhs stinks..

good luck lee x


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Koffers!!! This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship, it has kept me (relatively!) sane though all my treatment. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

I can totally sympathise with you. I think the rules suck, and that is putting it mildly. Fortunately over here in The Netherlands the rules are slightly different. I agree with Hoping&Praying, perhaps you could appeal? Sorry, because I live abroad I am not 100% sure how it works in UK. We do have location boards where you can find others in your area, and even using the same clinic, they might be able to offer some advice. If you look on the main forum index you will find them. If you have any problems let me know which part of the country you are in, or even which clinic and I can point you in the right direction.

Don´t get me started on your DH´s ex, it really makes my blood boil. We are in a similar situation, my DH has 3 (adopted) children with his ex wife and she has brainwashed the children against him. She even got the children to tell him to his face that they didn´t want to see him again, this was on his eldest child´s 13th birthday. Fortunately the eldest got in contact a couple of months ago after nearly 7 years. But the emotional abuse that the poor child was subjected to was just unbelievable, we are just trying to help her through it as best we can, while trying to build up the relationship again. Sorry, I am waffling&#8230;.. but things like that really hit a nerve with me.

Here are a few links that you might find useful.

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site ~   CLICK HERE

Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ CLICK HERE 

Tubal Factors ~ CLICK HERE

Waiting to start/ttc - CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows together.

Good luck - I hope you manage to get treatment soon.             

Sue


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Koffers - the rules regarding ivf treatment are soo unfair here in the UK, it's a huge bug bear of mine - I have friends, like you, with various medical conditions which render them unable to conceive naturally so would require treatment anyway; but because their partners have children from previous relationships they are unable to access nhs treatment - but by an amazingly sickening twist, the same pct who turned one of my friends down - provides nhs treatment to couples who already have chidren no questions asked!!!!  

I am lucky that my local pct offer three chances, but people further afield are only offered one opportunity - and sadly pct's in yorkshire have already stopped all ivf funding on the nhs due to the government cuts.

Thanks to my clinic I have realised my dream of Mummyhood, what I would advise is, appeal and fight every step of the way - get as much backing as you can: gp, mp, local press if need be. I couldnt possibly advocate that you go for a gp referral as a 'single person' if your hubby is the stumbling block - but I'm sure plenty of desperate parents to be have taken this route.

I'm lucky I met my hubby early on .... you cant help who you fall in love with.
Wishing you all the very best
Sheila


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## Petite One (Jun 1, 2011)

Want to live the dream - I am sorry for your news. Have you looked into natural / mild ivf? It's cheaper than the full blown ivf. Some people have been told they'd never have children but have done through this method.

Google for natural / mild ivf there are places in London that do it. I know it's still not free but worth a look on the clinics websites.


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