# Too old for IVF at 46??



## MRSLS (Nov 24, 2014)

Hi there
New to Forum but really need some advice from people who understand...
I had IVF at 40 and as a result have a fantastic 5 year old boy. Two rounds of frozen embryo transfer failed then two further rounds of IVF resulted in pregnancy but early miscarriage. 
I thought I'd come to terms with not having a second child and feel hugely blessed to have my gorgeous boy. However, over the last year the yearning for another child has got worse. I cry when I hear that other mums at school are expecting their second and third children and have horrible feelings of anger, resentment and jealously. 
I have an appointment at Bourn Hall to discuss if there are any options using my eggs and husband's sperm. There's a cost of £120 for this 'chat' and I'm worried I'll be told the only way is with donor eggs which I really don't want. 
Should I stop thinking about this and accept that I'm too old and the chances are simply too slim?
Thanks all.


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## beattie2 (Dec 30, 2005)

Hi there. I am sorry to hear that your last couple of attempts were not successful . I too am getting older and would love a second child.  There do seem to be some  good news stories for us "older" ladies but my guess is that at 46 most clinics will say that your chances of success are pretty low and that DE's will give you the best chances. I am 43 and was told that at this age the chances of success with own eggs is now around 5%, however some proggressive clinics seem to be getting success of arounf 10% for my age group and I guess some of it depends on the underlying fertility issue. There do seem to be things out there that help such as DHEA, chinese herbs and treatment with growth horomone  If you are going to get an appointment a clinic I would recommend one that is getting the best results for us older ladies (ARCG, FGA, CRCH, Lister, Zita West?) and they should be able to tell you how much success they have with their older patients. Good luckx


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## MRSLS (Nov 24, 2014)

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. The percentage you've quoted is around what I was expecting. SO low.  
Will do some more research I think. 
X


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## Greyhoundgal (Oct 7, 2013)

MrsLS - I'm sorry to read your journey - infertility us such a hard journey   I Agree with Beattie that if you want to continue with OE then you should really research other clinics and mAke sure they have good success rates for the over 40s and that they have lots of options and "think outside of the box". It's easy to be lulled into a state of inertia by what and who we know (especially the who - it feels safe) but in our forties it's all about taking risks and making leaps of faith. Have you had the following for example

1) a hysteroscopy to rule out scarring preventing implantation
2) infections testing to rule that out
3) immunes testing
4) DNA fragmentation test for DH sperm 

Also, are you absolutely as baby ready as you can be? I recommend reading "it starts with the egg" by Rebecca Fett and get yourself started on a good regime of straight forward but well researched supplements to help women in our age group. These usually take 3 months to kick in but if you start now hopefully it will give you the time you need to research and perhaps visit other clinics before making your final decision. It's not expensive book and doesn't take long to read 

Ultimately our ability to get pregnant is a lottery based on the luck of a combination of factors - your health, DH health, your amh and the quality of your eggs, quality of his sperm, the treatment from your clinic. So in my view, we can do as much as possible about our health, but not all that much about the other factors.

Very best of luck - hope your dream comes true  

Grey xx


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## Mrs Kenward (Nov 17, 2014)

Hi there,

I am very new to this forum.  I am 41 now, so fall under the over 40 age group, and just had my first failed IVF cycle, and about to start my second cycle.  I know it is probably not what you want to hear but at least you can take comfort from looking into your son's eyes while working to have your second child.

I met my current husband in my late 30s after spending some 20 years being told it would ruin my life if I had a child.  Instead of listening to myself, I convinced myself that motherhood would be bad for me and focused on career instead.  Believing that my body was simply too stressed out to get pregnant, I gave up a job in a regional law firm but after spending a year being subjected to various tests, I was told I cannot have a child naturally and not to expect any help from the NHS.

If you know where you are heading, it might be better to tell those treating you what you want so they can find the best way to help you get there. So long as we do our homework, I don't think it is necessary to blindly follow what the clinicians say we should do.  I have indicated to those treating me how many eggs to take out, so long as it is legal and fairly safe to my body.

As to whether you should accept being told you are too old, what do your gut instincts say?  If logic and rationale evade you, follow what your instincts are telling you.  Unfortunately, time does not wait for anyone especially women who want to have children naturally or not.

Anyhow best wishes and good luck.


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## urbangirl (Jul 28, 2010)

Statistics really nosedive after 43, but one has to take into account that that is partly because so few women over 43 are treated with OE, a great many clinics will refuse to treat because that age group brings down their average success rate.  I think there's only been a couple of IVF successes at the age of 46, but it wouldn't surprise me if there were only a couple who tried it!  It's an individual thing, if you can find a (decent) clinic willing to treat and you think in yourself that you have a chance and can afford to give it a go I would go for it.  At least, if in the end it doesn't work out you know you gave it a go.  Develop a thick skin, though, I've been insulted by clinics all over the world! (but still soldiering on )


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## pucca (Dec 12, 2008)

We never really get over not having a child it is a pain you may be one accustomed to but it wil never leave you really. I don't need to be morbid but it's trye . Each time you see kids which is all the time you will remember but if you have a loving relationship then it's easier to get used to I think. 
My advice would be to read as much as you ca and to a tandem but use donor as backup you will improve your chances and no one needs to know unless you are ready to tell them . Good luck


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Yeah the stats never look great after 43 but it's so individual tbh and you might be the one it works for! I know serum def has a few success stories over 43, lady of 45 I cycled with got pg with oe and all went fine for her x


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## SWGirl (Aug 19, 2004)

MRSLS, you may find this thread interesting:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=325245.0

I'm sure there's someone that posts on this forum that had successful OE IVF at 45 or 46. I remember reading her posts a long time ago.

I think you should just go for it as quicky as possible (with the most promising clinic as mentioned by others above) and see how it goes.

Good Luck!


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