# Single, new to this and considering donor embryos - help!



## Eelpie (Jan 21, 2012)

I'm 43, single and looking at having a baby using a donor embryo at Visterhermosa clinic in Spain - going out for my initial consultation in April.  Would love to hear from anyone who has done this already or is in the process.  Still struggling with lots of issues in my head and almost feeling paralysed with indecision and worry!  If you have any wise advice or experiences you can share I would be so grateful.  Thanks!


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hello and welcome Eelpie   

There are lots of us here who have done something very similar. I had my double donor tx in Czech Republic - fresh DE cycle was negative, but I have my lovely twin boys from a subsequent FET   

Please feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions, or ask away on here - it's completely natural to worry beforehand, but I couldn't be happier now   

Wishing you the very best of luck with your consultation and tx
Suitcase
x


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## RichmondLass (Apr 26, 2009)

Eelpie I went for treatment in Spain when I was 44 and now have a gorgeous little boy who lights up the room (if he can find the switch!)!!

You can PM me too if you like RLxxx


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Welcome Eelpie

I remember feeling paralysed with the indecision - for about 3 years I think   .

I had treatment with a donor embryo in Czech Republic. My little boy is 2 years 7 months now and it was the best decision I ever made.   

Good luck

DL xx


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## Eelpie (Jan 21, 2012)

Thanks so much to everyone who has replied - I've sent you all PMs!  It is so great to have this resource here and to know you are all happy mothers is really inspiring. Off to spain week after next for my first consultation and feel positive and excited about it now (as well as all the nerves!).  And that is thanks to the support and encouragement on here.  Thanks again  

x


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## tillybear (Jun 4, 2010)

Hi there, 

I hope your trip to Spain goes well. I'd really love to know how you get on, I also am considering the donor embryo route in Spain but still need to decide on a clinic. 

Good luck and best wishes

Xxx


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## ElsieMay (Mar 17, 2007)

Hi Eelpie
I have a double donation girl from Spain - lots of info about the male donor as I imported from Xytex in the USA but none about the female Spanish donor.
I guess for me I had the chance to use my own eggs for IVF (and was even offered free IVF to do so as my DNA seemed to be of interest to the clinic) but actively chose not to as I wanted the best chance of becoming a mum which made things easier.  What also made it easier was my closest friend had a boy with with Downs Syndrome at the time and I realised nobody knows what their kids are going to be like even when they have your DNA.  Also when I requested a donor with a uni degree the doctor in spain asked me how many stupid people I had known at uni and how many successful people I know without a degree - the answer was lots to both questions!  
Now my girl is here most people say she looks like me and nuture takes over the biology it seems.  L has a book where the Mummy leopard adopted a tiger and the point in the book is that people don't have to look like each other to be a family and also the book has a lovely line in it that says 'even though they don't look alike see how they have the same laugh and laugh at the same things".
EM


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## Eelpie (Jan 21, 2012)

Lovely to hear from you ElsieMay and Tillybear, 

My trip was really good.  I went to Vistahermosa in Alicante and they are wonderful.  The girls who act as translators are great and take you to and from airport to hotel, and clinic for your appointment.  They are there with you for the consultation.  The doctor I saw was just lovely.  Just very warm and obviously wanting the best for you.  The best thing I found was that the embryos are created from donor eggs and sperm, rather than being from IVF cycles - at no extra cost, unlike some other clinics.  And all the egg donors are under 35. It might be slightly pricier than some places outside of Spain, but I felt really comfortable there and that they'd take care of me.  Its just making that final decision now.  And i am dragging my feet...still!  There is still a part of me that is saying I should try with my own eggs..not IUI because I cant really afford that and dont think it will give me the best chance.  But trying to find a private donor....and then there are even more issues and complications to get my head around....and I come back to thinking going to Spain is the best, and the thing that feels the most right somehow!  

Its lovely to hear how your little one resembles you ElsieMay.  I think at each stage its about getting your head around an issue and grieving something.  I am really feeling the sadness that my child probably wont look like me right now...but i'm sure that will pass and all that is really important is that they are healthy and happy little souls.  That book sounds great!  I am wondering...will it be appropriate to celebrate and explore the spanish-ness of my little ones' genetic history?  thinking of maybe a spanish middle name or something.  i love spain and speak quite a bit of spanish, so maybe that is something we can explore together with trips and so on.  

There is so much to consider and a huge choice to make - happy to share any information I have with you Tillybear so feel free to PM me. 

Just feels so comforting knowing that none of us is alone in this and hearing happy stories of motherhood!  


Thank you.

xxx


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## ElsieMay (Mar 17, 2007)

Eelpie
L loves Chorizo and early on having loved Dora the Explora would shout 'Vanamos!' to me.  I thought it was great.
EM


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