# single 34 considering donor sperm - where to start?!?!



## benvalenuk (Jan 22, 2011)

Hi All

My 35th birthday is in less than two months and I've made some decisions this weekend to help me have the chance of having a child. Realistically I don't want to wait to meet the right man at the risk of running out of time. If successful, I know it's going to be hard work but I know it's not impossible.

I'm really not sure where to start.....I'm thinking logically a Dr's appointment with my GP? I also think that I need to understand if I'm fertile, although I don't know how I go about doing that even. 

Is there anyone out there that can offer some advice?

Many thanks


----------



## upsydaisy (May 9, 2009)

Hiya and welcome to our world   


You've definitely come to the right place, some of the lovely ladies on here are as good as qualified endocrinologists!  Many of us (myself included) have been in exactly the same position as you and made exactly the same decision.  You never know how long or difficult the journey is going to be until you start but I found just making that initial appointment felt like a huge weight lifting off my shoulders.  GP's vary enormously in there supportiveness.  There are a few dinosaurs still knocking around the NHS    But, even as a single women, most now except you have a right to find out if your fertile.  They can run a range of basic blood tests (FSH and day 21 progesterone are a start - although my knowledge is a bit rusty   ) to see if your ovulating.  Some GP's will refer you to a fertility clinic and make sure any drugs needed are on prescription but that's as far as it goes.  I was lucky in that I was referred to a local clinic that had it's own donor bank but many ladies select a clinic and donor independently or travel abroad (where treatment is considerably cheeper but the donors are not ID release).
I have never regretted my decision for a nano second and my life has been enhanced immeasurable by the presence of my daughter .  Best of luck and feel free to ask any questions you need to .


 Upsyxxx


----------



## benvalenuk (Jan 22, 2011)

Thanks for your reply Upsy.

Seeing your little girl gives hope. I'll make a Dr's appt tomorrow and take it from there. I've read a lot in the past two days and I think my brain is overloaded.


----------



## Roo67 (Feb 12, 2007)

Hi and welcome

you've found a fab place for info and support, I wish I had found it before I started on this journey.
I think the best place to start is GP who should run basic hormone tests for you FSH, LH on day 2-3 and progesterone on day 21 this will tell you if you are ovulating or not and give some indication of ovarian reserve. Some also test for AMH. (I've never had this tested so I'm sure someone else will be along soon ) As Upsy says, some GPs are better than others, mine were supportive to a degree but wouldn't prescribe any of the meds.

Providing all your hormone tests are ok then I guess the first step will be IUI, so could idea to have a good look around this site and HFEA website at clinics in your area.

Best of luck and well done for making the decision, there are a few books that may be of interest to you, mostly american but still worth a read.

Can''t remember them all but Single mothers by choice is one

R x


----------



## Bambiboo (Oct 23, 2009)

Hi and Welcome,

The book Roo is talking about is Single Mother's by Choice by Mikki Morrisette.  There is another great book called "Knock yourself up" by Louise Sloan.  I read them both when first starting out.  Although American they cover all the thoughts and dilemmas that come about when thinking about and becoming a single mother by choice.  Would definitely get them.

Also, why not come to the meet up on 13th Feb?  Do you live near London.

Would be good to meet people and ask lots of questions!  There is a thread on here with the details.  Id add the link but no idea how to do it!! Someone else might do it for me though!

Good luck and maybe see you in February?

Bambiboo x x


----------



## benvalenuk (Jan 22, 2011)

Thanks for all your information today, I've just downloaded the "knock yourself up" book, which I'm sure will help me. 

I live in Sheffield, so won't be able to meet up in London unfortunatley, however it did get me thinking and I've posted on the Yorkshire pages too. 

Time for some more reading


----------



## Roo67 (Feb 12, 2007)

There are not many of us 'singlie northerners' but there are a few now.


mmmm may be an idea to arrange a meet at some point - I'll wait til I get this cycle out of the way and then see if we can fix something up.

R x


----------



## some1 (May 13, 2006)

Welcome to the threads Benvalenuk - the early days of making the decision to pursue motherhood as a single woman are pretty scary and involve a huge amount of thinking, but I don't know of anyone who has made the decision that feels any regret about the choice.

Definitely see your GP for some basic fertility tests as has been suggested. Also have a look at the HFEA website (www.hfea.gov.uk) for information about UK clinics local to you. I chose the clinic I wanted to have treatment with, contacted them to check whether they were happy to treat me as a single woman and to check on the availablility of sperm donors, then went to my GP and simply asked for a referral, then I had my fertility tests done at the hospital the clinic is based in.

I would also recommend getting to know your own cycles, this can give you a good idea of whether you are ovulating regularly before taking the step of getting tested/going to a clinic. You can do this through charting your Basal Temperature (using a special fertility thermometer), using OPK (Ovulation Predictor Kit) tests, and monitoring cervical mucus/position etc. A really good book covering all this it 'Taking charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler.

Wishing you loads of luck on your journey, glad you have found us, you will get lots of support/info here.

Some1

xx

/links


----------



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

benvalenuk 
Welcome to the thread, like the lovely ladies have said your GP is a good step, saying that I bypassed the GP , as I was using a friend as a sperm donor, so we tried at home inseminations and then when nothing happened we went to a clinic that I found. I never went to the GP until I had a miscarriage. He then will do some blood tests for me, but not pay for drugs or treatments etc.

Where abouts in the country are you?

L x


----------



## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

Hi Benvaluk and welcome to the singlie boards, Im another sort of Northerner. more east midlands really, but North of Watford!

The ladies have as expected given you fab advise I just say crack on, wish I had started a few years earlier, Im now 41 and still trying!

Teela
x


----------



## ameliacooper (Aug 12, 2007)

Hi

welcome to the boards. I totally understand your nerves and the ladies have given you great advice.

I think making the decision is the hardest part.  You are starting at a good age - it is around 35 that it really hits you.

My GP was really helpful and did lots of tests for me so def give them a visit and upsy's advice of getting to know your cycle (if you don't already).

Good luck - best decision ever

xx


----------



## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

Welcome - it was turning 35 that spurred me on this journey.

You could also look at donor conception network website - they are very pro ID release donors but whatever your choice there is some great resources to help you work through your thoughts.

Good luck with decision making and the first steps on your journey.


----------



## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Welcome Benvalen... I posted this on a co-parenting site perhaps it will help you. 

There are so many great resources for single women looking to concieve on the web.

First of all do a load of reading.

1. Single Mothers by Choice 

2. Single by Chance Mothers by Choice 

3. Choosing Single Motherhood 

4. Helping the Stork

5. Knock yourself up 

These are good starting points.

Have a look at some great websites... fertility friends in the UK is a fantastic website with tons of single women and lesbian couples going through this.  Read through the posts.  If you have a look at the threads there are so many women going through the same thing on here.  I was 36 when I found out my fertility is declining.  I am in the midst of choosing either co-parenting or sperm donation using a donor from a US sperm bank.  

In the US there is Mikki Morissettes site (choicemoms.org) which is a godsend.  It has SO much information for single women and it's free to read.  

Have a look a the gay and lesbian resources in UK like Pinkparents (down at the moment).  Lesbian couples have been doing this stuff for a long time and are fantastic for helping us singlys with resources.

Get a support network around you.  Suportive friends are amazing. I have many. Also other single women going through this are a must.  Fertility friends and SMBC meet up in the UK as well.  Have a look at the donor conception network as well.  


STD tests are a must. Fertility tests save time.  So get your AMH, FSH done.  I used a guy called Luciano Nardo and went private.  It was the best £300 I ever spent.      Make sure that everything is in working order  .  

Keep asking questions and read the boards.  They are a god send.

Dawn 

/links


----------



## Only Me (Jan 21, 2011)

benvalenuk said:


> Hi All
> 
> My 35th birthday is in less than two months and I've made some decisions this weekend to help me have the chance of having a child. Realistically I don't want to wait to meet the right man at the risk of running out of time. If successful, I know it's going to be hard work but I know it's not impossible.
> 
> ...


Hi im new to this too, so I have no idea if I am posting right. I have just started my treatment. I live in Sheffield and wondered if you wanted to meet up sometime for a coffee. Let me know. Take Care.


----------



## Only Me (Jan 21, 2011)

Hi

I am making a real mess of this so I hope you receive. I am in exactly the same position as you but I have just started my first treatment. I am looking to make new friends locally who are in the same position. I am also in Sheffield. 

Hope to hear from you soon. Good luck. x


----------



## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

Welcome only me- you look like you are doing fine to me? Any questions just aska way- What tx are you starting with?

you could also post here http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=236072.216


----------



## benvalenuk (Jan 22, 2011)

Wow, I'm so surprised about how many girlie's have replied to my post. Thank you all very much. I can see that I'm doing a a few things right - I'm reading lots and I went to see my GP today! Although he could've been a Vulcan pretending to be a Dr, as he was completely disinterested and I may as well have been a 10 year old asking for a new, cuddly teddy bear. 

I haven't let that dishearten me, he gave me a name of a fertility expert in the area who I'm going o check out. 

Oh, and I had a bit of a restless sleep last night - i woke thinking.............who would look after my baby if I died in child birth? That was all a bit unsettling but I know my family would muster together.  And coming from a single parent, unconventional family myself....... I think it teaches you tackle hard stuff. 

Thanks to you all for your support!......time to review some clinics in the area. x


----------



## Roo67 (Feb 12, 2007)

Welcome Only Me - another northerner, fantastic.

Have a read through the boards and you will find lots of info and support on here.

R x


----------



## Lou-Ann (Apr 20, 2008)

benvalenuk and Only Me, welcome to the boards. As you have already found, it is a wealth of information, advice and support. Good luck with your respective journeys.

Lou-Ann x


----------



## some1 (May 13, 2006)

Welcome Only Me!

Benvale - well done on seeing your GP!

Some1

xx


----------



## Chowy (Apr 12, 2008)

Hello to both of our newcomers, as previously said you have found the place for info and support.  So nice that you are both near each other too.  We have all had those scary wake in the middle of the night moments, but you get through them and make decisions accordingly.  I am 38 a still live with my parents so that I could have my little man, sometimes its a good thing and sometimes its a bad thing (living with my parents that is) but most of all it means that I have my little man.  We all make sacrifices, but I will never regret my beautiful little man and all I went through to get him.

Best of luck to you both.

Chowy and Pup


----------



## Only Me (Jan 21, 2011)

Hi

Thank you for all your welcomes and messages. I am still D/R at the moment and hoping to start stims tomorrow. I am very excited now but also very nervous. 

Do any of you girlies ever meet up? It would be great to make some new friends in the same situation. 

Hope to hear from you soon. 

Good luck and baby dust to all. 

x


----------



## Roo67 (Feb 12, 2007)

Only me - there are quite a few meetups in London and I think some in the midlands, but I'm thinking of organising a northern meet once this cycle is over, there are a few of us now so might be worth doing.

R x


----------



## Chowy (Apr 12, 2008)

Only Me, if you have a look on the babies thread there are the meets on there, some in Leamington Spa, Banbury and London.  You are more than welcome.

Chowy xx


----------



## croatian girl (Feb 7, 2011)

Hi everyone! please excuse the errors, I'm from Croatia.   my English is not perfect, but I hope you will understand me.   I am a single girl, 30 years old, looking for the clinic for artificial insemination. In Croatia, unfortunately, there is no legal possibility that a girl can become a single mom with donated sperm. I'm interested in how it works in England, what are the costs and whether maybe someone has experience with a clinic elsewhere in the EU. Of course, standards in England and Croatia can not be compared so that the price plays a big role.  
A month ago I extracted the hormone and the results were satisfactory. 
My results on the third day of the cycle: 
LH 5.9 IU / L ; 
FSH 5.6 IU / L ;
oestradiol 158 pmol / L ;
DHEAS 6.47 umol / L ;
testosterone 2.0 nmol / L 
and 21 day cycle : progesterone 87.0 nmol / L
I've never been pregnant and I'm not suffering from any disease.
Kisses and hugs to all moms and moms to be!


----------



## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

Hi Croatian Girl,

Wow your English is great, in fact puts mine to shame 

I am no expert but your results look good. I have had quite a few treatments in england and it is quite expensive
here, at my last clinic IUI [insemination with donor sperm] at a clinic was around £1327 including sperm.
I am about to start treatment in Czech Republic which I presume will be nearer for you and it is alot cheaper.
However like croatia it is illegal to treat single girls, so you have to not mention that part! I am not sure of the
Price for IUI over there as I am having IVF, but some of the other girls will be able to help re that.

take care
Teela
x


----------



## croatian girl (Feb 7, 2011)

Thank you Teela!
I read on one  forum that single British women go for treatment in the clinic Reprofit Brno, Czech Republic, and I contacted them, but also mentioned that I'm single, and they replied that they only work with couples   how to bypass that part


----------



## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

Croatian Girl,

You by pass that by not mentioning you are single!!! 

Email Stepan on [email protected] tell him you are looking for treatment IUI with donor sperm.
That's what I did and he never asked if I was single and I never mentioned it!!

Teela
x


----------



## croatian girl (Feb 7, 2011)

Now I see the bigger picture   and I'm reading  posts on Male characteristics on clinic forms - advice   can you please tell me what is the price for clinic IUI at Reprofit? And when you are going for treatment?


----------



## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

Sorry not sure on price, never had IUI there, some other girls have and I am sure will be on soon to tell you.
I am going in about 2 weeks

Teela


----------



## croatian girl (Feb 7, 2011)

Teela, 
thank you so much for all information.   I'm hoping that everything turns out great, fingers crossed.
Are you given up on IUI , now you will try some other procedure?


----------



## caramac (Mar 21, 2010)

Hi Croatian Girl. I had IUI at Reprofit in Brno, Czech Republic. The cost was 100 Euros for the IUI treatment plus 100 Euros for the donor sperm. Very reasonable!

Regarding male characteristics on forms, just leave that bit blank.

Good luck!


----------



## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

Yes I gave up on IUI a while ago and have moved onto IVF, I am a bit older than you and my
eggs are probably passed there sell by date   

Oh I just found a price list including sperm IUI is 200 euro at Reprofit, that is very cheap compared to the uk

Teela
x


----------



## croatian girl (Feb 7, 2011)

I so excited about all of this information, you really made me happy! 

caramac, when you were at reprofit?  Is it been successful?

Teela, I wish you all the best..


----------



## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Wow I thought it was 200 euros for just the IUI.  *smile* cheaper than I thought. 

Dawn


----------



## caramac (Mar 21, 2010)

Hi Croatian Girl - I went over three times in April, May and June last year. My third attempt was successful and I am now 35 weeks pregnant! So I highly recommend Reprofit!


----------

