# How 'gay' is your life?



## Guest

I have a really nice new secretary and we got talking today about our families and she assumed I have a husband as I wear a ring and have a child. That is fair enough but when I told her my partner was female, she started telling me about these gay people she knew and did I know them. Why do people do that  . Do you ask a black friend if they know all the black people in their town!?
We actually have no gay friends apart from one male friend who is now in a relationship with his life long best female friend so I guess he doesn't count  . DP and I just see ourselves as a 'normal' couple and have all the friends we have always had, who just happen to be straight. I have probably been to a gay pub/club about 10 times and TBH, I have never felt I needed any support from the gay community. Sometimes I think that SOME gay people are so busy trying to gain their rights etc.and express their sexuality, that they are actually seperating themselves even more from regular society. 
What are your views and do you see your lifestyle very much within the gay scene?


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## nismat

How "gay" is our life? Not really at all. Never has been. I think that the fact that we got together as a couple having both only had straight relationships previously, has a lot to do with it, as neither of us ever "did" the scene. 
We've got a few gay friends (mostly former work colleagues). And our next-door-but-one neighbours are another lesbian couple with a son the same age as Toby - a total coincidence; they moved in when the boys were both almost 1. It's very handy having a family similar to ours so close by (although they used a known donor, who is Daddy to their son S), especially when you think about things like the fact that they should start at the same school together. The boys are very good friends, we're reasonably good friends with S's mums, but more for the sake of the kids than anything else, as we hold fairly different value systems (they are very materialistic, into designer labels etc. and also super sporty, whereas we are much lazier cheapskates!).
Other than that, the only "gay" circles that I move in are the lesbian parenting ones!


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## katena

moo2275 said:


> Sometimes I think that SOME gay people are so busy trying to gain their rights etc.and express their sexuality, that they are actually seperating themselves even more from regular society.
> What are your views and do you see your lifestyle very much within the gay scene?


I live my life how i want....being in Manchester there is a big gay scene...but this isn't just bars/clubs etc..there is Chorlton and Hulme which are both very 'gay' areas. I dip into these as/when it suits me....but i live in Hulme as i feel safe and i love the diversity of the area (including ethnicity/students etc)

In don't ordinarily surround myself with gay people for safety security etc but it does have its uses and comforts.

I have a very mixed bag of friends...but actually find that we are very different from some of the lesbian crowd in manchester...who can (and i mean some not all) be very right on/anti men and isolate themselves from hetero/gay community.

But - and maybe it was a slip up - i dont think you should use the phrase 'more regular society'. to me thats like saying theres 'gay' and there 'normal' people!

I am happy that there are people out there fighting for gay rights/equilty and it takes a very brave person to stand up and be counted. i do my small bits as and when i can. Like i am going to attend the next LGBT Steering group meeting for the NHS (my employers) as that can have a huge affect!

As DP is quite 'butch' (for a lack of a better word) she often feels like she is stared at...especially in heterosexually dominant bars/clubs etc and so we do avoid those places we know it happens for her comfort.

(end of long ramble!!)

k


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## Guest

What I meant by 'regular society' was a mixed bag ie. everyone together whatever their sexuality, culture, colour, religion etc.  
I totally agree with you about how great it is that there are people fighting for the rights of anyone in the minority. We wouldn't be having children if someone hadn't fought for us some time ago! It's those that isolate themselves like you said, and actually make themselves even more 'different' by doing that, I get a bit mad about that sometimes and that makes me not want to be associated with the gay scene. 
The whole butch and femme thing is a right pain. I think I look like an average woman (whatever that is  ) but DP is very girly and whenever people, especially blokes, find out she is gay they don't understand how she can be as 'she is too pretty to be gay'


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## welshginge

I'd say quite, as our best friends are gay (mostly men), but I don't go out that much anymore. I like gay pubs as in I feel comfortable etc but when my only lesbian friend starts introducing me to other girls - all whom have slept with each other, I switch off. Cannot bear it to be honest. I love watching the L Word but don't want to be in the middle of it!!

Our closest friends are a male couple & one of them has 3 kids & they are older so we feel like we click with them more. We usually meet round each others houses or go out for meals which suits us fine at the mo. Although I can feel a night out coming on!


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## katena

welshginge said:


> I love watching the L Word but don't want to be in the middle of it!!


    

Very funny and couldnt agree more!!

K


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## nismat

moo2275 said:


> The whole butch and femme thing is a right pain.


But don't you think that to some straight people, esp those without much contact with out gay people, a female couple who are obviously butch/femme, are easier to "make sense of"? In that they think that they can see who is the "man" and who is the "woman". All a load of nonsense of course for the most part, but I know that some of Karen's family look at us this way. Not that Karen identifies as butch (or as any other kind of label), but she naturally has a rather more masculine appearance, while mine is more feminine, in traditional stereotype terms.


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## rosypie

our life isn't particularly gay anymore. when we were younger, in our 20s and lived in london, it was probably more gay than it is now. i think most of our friends were gay then and if we went out we'd favour gay pubs... anyway, we moved on from that since, geographically and in other ways. we do often crave the company of similar people, and by that i mean lesbians. but only really lesbians that are like us i guess. we get a lot out of the lesbian mummy scene even though we only get together with them 4ish times a year plus a camping holiday. i wouldn't want to say that i'm completely contented surrounded by hetero couples and families. i'm more content than i would have been in my 20s but even so, if i don't have any contact for a while i do start to feel isolated and feel like my identity is disappearing somehow. and anyway, we want the boys to have contact with other lesbians and lesbian couples too. we don't want to be the only ones in their lives.

it's hard to articulate this without making it sound like being a lesbian rules my life. and that i'm unhappy. it doesn't and i'm not. let's just say that i feel my lesbian identity needs servicing every 10000 miles or something like that. i need to make contact every now and then.

that butch and femme thing - i'm sure our 86 yr old neighbour is fine with us because eve works and i stay home with the kids and bake and hang out the washing and stuff. not that we identify as butch or femme but that she can see us fitting into traditionally male and female roles (she hasn't seen my toolbox though )


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## nismat

rosypie said:


> (she hasn't seen my toolbox though )


^ snort!


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## katena

I know were kind of going off topic....but about the butch/femme issue...

We were in a taxi on the way home one night and was asked by a taxi driver in a very non confrontational/enquiring way (which made us want to answer) why DP felt she needed to look butch, did she think she was a guy or did she think she had to dress like that to look 'hard'.

DP's answer....was that during her teen years she looked the way she was..shes always been more boyish than girly and its just her personality...and to be fair...she would look like bag drag if she put on a frock or even make up!!

He kind of got that....i guess...

But on the whole....'people' in general dont seem to get b/f...or even why i *love* butch women!!! And with the same token why DP *loves* femme girls and would hate to have to share her tool box (lol) with another butch. Likewise i'd hate to have a little night in painting our nails etc

Ah well...life and the people in it can be strange cant they!
k


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## leoaimee

hay all,

interesting topic for debate ....

have to say i identify alot with rosypie.  my 'gay' identity is very important to me ... and part of the thing that has been hard moving out of london is a sense of loss of that community, and a sense of being invisible .... because there arent many gay people where we live, but also there arent many people who share similar values in general/who think about things much.  

although i have met a hetro family where the daddy stays at home and the mummy works and i really enjoy being with them, because they have a family which doesnt conform to the majority.  and i have just had a fellow FFer move to wehre we live, and she is lovely and reads books so thats great!

i am totally cool with 'butch' lesbians, although my mum and i have this conversation adn she seems the word butch meaning without any style ... but i dont think that is true anymore.  
i think being very out there in terms of how you display your gender identitiy is right and fine.  the spectrum is varied and i find it a bit distressing when lesbians or gay men are down on other people from 'community' when they are more overt in their appearance then makes them comfortable.

in london we used to go out alot to gay bars and clubs ... and although some of that is pretty horrendous it was also lots of fun and i enjoyed all the friends i made.
the proper friends i am still in contact with as we dont need to just go out clubbing.
my other group of friends in london not on the 'scene' are a mix of straight and gay peeps ... big cross over, but in a more 'arty' scene... with certain degree of flexibility on the sexuality front.

i say hoorah for the OUT there gay people who work hard for our rights ... and then straight people who back them up.

i havent ever only socialised with gay people, but i have certainly enjoyed socialising on the gay scene, but lots of my straight friends also socialised with me on the gay scene ....

im not for ghettos .... but having named gay spaces in society is a great thing, for people to be as much a part of or as little a part of as they like.

my mum and her friend (gay man) took my nephew to london zoo the other weekend, and it was gay sunday!!   clearly a marketing ploy .... but a succesful one!  my mum felt the visible split put the hetro 60% **** 40% although clearly no one wld have guessed B, my mums friend was gay as he neatly fitted with grandpa to my ma;s granny!!


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## b&amp;l

*tries to think fora  moment of any friends of mine who are hetro, and fails as even the one who claims to be is very Queer in other ways*

I have for a long time now ended up regardless of what is going on in my life, I guess had a 'colour full' group of close friends.

Not intentional, but one of those things that just happened, closest friends locally are via uni these days even though grew up in Leeds and have lived here most my life, although in my teens and early twenties again mainly LGBTQ friends, now 27 and still most friends are LGBTQ just one of those things.

My closest friend on my degree is hetro, there one friend.  But she is possibly the only person who I 'let in' enough who understands me that is.

Lea
xox 
ps will try get Ben to comment on this tomoro as he went to bed about a hour ago now.


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## Mable

Interesting question.

In short, as I should be in bed, for me it's more important that I have key things in common with my friends rather than being in the same kind of relationship as them. I think that this counts for us as a family as well ie it's important to hang out with people who parent kind of like us, rather than that there are 2 mums in the family.

I suppose I don't really identify by my sexual orientation though -

To bed - am on night duty and both children are in my side of the bed....


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## Guest

Mable said:


> In short, as I should be in bed, for me it's more important that I have key things in common with my friends rather than being in the same kind of relationship as them. I think that this counts for us as a family as well ie it's important to hang out with people who parent kind of like us, rather than that there are 2 mums in the family.
> 
> I suppose I don't really identify by my sexual orientation though -


Mable - I couldn't have put it better myself


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## nismat

Indeed Mable, you've summed it up perfectly, the order of "priorities"


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## Misspie

Hmmmmmmmmmmm I love this topic, don’t get to have much of it at work!!! It’s one me and DW are always talking about every now and again!  

We don’t have “Gay Life” at all. We have 2 gay friends, 1 sitting on the fence, and even though they are around and still part of our life, we don’t see them very often due to them living miles away from us, as close as Southampton and as far as Scotland. 
I’ve done the scene a little when I was going through my identity crisis, with first G/F. DW has done it with me and I’m her first, so otherwise we lead a life like a “normal” (If you can define the term normal) couple! 
Everything about our wedding was not what people were expecting, traditional wedding, no church and 2 brides!!!! And now we are lacking the child that we so long desire!
All of our friends are hetro, single, married, together, with children, we feel for our age and timescale we’ve been together we are seriously lagging behind! ut most of our friends, are friends becasue we have things in common with them, not for any other reason, otherwsie whats the point in being friends with people!! 
We do think it would be nice to start to gain more friends with children in the gay scene, as feel it’s important for the child/children to know that there are many other children where parents are from the same sex. We also feel this is important for ourselves too, it’s nice not only to mix with everyday life, but to discuss and feel part of a world, that is the same as yours...

Funny Tamsin, you mention the toolbox!!! Me and DW both have our moments and swing either way, but hetro woman don’t get judged if they walk out in combats a little t-shirt and trainers!! But I’m generally more femme than DW and people really don’t have a clue unless I /We tell them, though DW is always very good at telling people “you should see her with a power tool, she’s like a crazy lesbian, just without the tool belt” !! It always brings us back to the moments in bound with Gina Gherson LOL!!!

Lorna
xx


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## Guest

Misspie said:


> I've done the scene a little when I was going through my identity crisis, with first G/F.


That is when I did it too. I met my first girlfriend at Uni when I was in my early 20s. It was the first gay relationship for us both and was very intense (typical for lesbians ). We split up as she felt she could never tell her parents and wanted to get married and have kids ie. be straight. I was heartbroken and in a right mess as our relationship was secret. I confided in a close friend and we went up to London together a few times but I felt very uncomfortable and it made me even more confused TBH. I met DP when I was doing my first nursing job and she was with her first girlfriend then too. At that time I lived with loads of doctors and nurses and we were out all the time in straight clubs but I was openly gay and another male doctor was, and another was bisexual. There were a few girls who were up for anything aswell so you can imagine the sort of nights out we had! . DP and I then fell in love (aaah), so we've only had one other lady before, (and a few lady snogs ) I wonder whether I would be more into the scene if I had been very certain about being gay from a much younger age and needed more support. 
I often think that DS might like to know another child with gay parents when he is a bit older and aware of things. I might have some new friends by then anyway. TBH I have been more concerned with him having nice men in his life like his godfather and his childminder. We chose a married couple to look after him so he has a very special man in his life 2 days a week - and he IS God!


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## lesbo_mum

ooo interesting subject ladies  

I came out when i was 17 but had my first lesbian experience when i was 15 with my best mate... i then went through a stage from 15-18 of having lots of boyfriends to convince myself i was straight   didnt work lol

I did the gay scene from about 17-20 6 nights a week lol   All my friends were gay and i guess i was a complete scene queen lol... i met DP on gaydar girls (how tacky  ) when i was nearly 20 and i was her first GF.. we moved in together quite quick (about 3 months in) and we made out we were just friends to her family until we'd lived together about 6 months (although they must have known as it was a one bed house lol) 

After we got together i kind of drifted off the gay scene.. we still go out occationally on the scene and i have 2 couples and a single lesbian i've remained good friends with (although dont see them much) everyone else has kind of drifted away now (guess you find out your true friends as you grow up!) 

All of DP''s friends are straight and there the girls she went to school with so has been friends with them for years... i guess now there my friends to   We see them far more than we do my friends and there all in relationships, have kids or are married.


It would be nice to have some other gay friends with children  for when we have kids.

EM x


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## have_a_go

Hi all,

Wow what a good question!!

Our life is very mixed..it can be gay at times and not other times (mostly!). When at uni i was involved in the local hockey team and lived with a group of lesbians (oh what fun at the time). I then met DP on the scene in Brighton. In our first year or so we were out alot in pubs and bars and met a good network of friends (some old, some new). We have however, over the last couple of years, seemed to have "calmed" down a bit. We staill have 2 gay male friend that we see quite regularly(DP's) and a lesbian couple who i have known for years (grew up together with one of them). Other than that we have a group of reallygood friens who are single, straight, in relationship, have kids, single and kids....all sorts really. What is really nice is that most of our social occasions are at ours in the shape of BBQ's, house parties and the occasional trip to the local pub! We also always meet for bithdays, anniversarys, any excuse really. Also my family are great...there are always occasions when we are celebrating something, which is great! Family get togethers are as much of our social scene as it is with friends!


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## pem

What an interesting subject and really good to read everybody's opinions/situations!!

Me and DP are not at all 'gay', more as Mable says, we have friends who we have things in common with and who we are similar to in parenting....we have lezza friends...bi friends (male and female) str8 friends, single freinds, married with kids friends, muslim friends, born again friends...the list is endless. I couldn't care a hoot what people 'are', what matter is do we get on and what their values etc are.

DP however was well 'gay' b4 we got together,  had the whole butch thing going on, out on the scene, right tart...she couldn't be more different know...I was in a relationship with a man before DP and was pretty bloody miserable for 10 years, only did 'the scene' for a bit before I realised for me it was the same as the str8 scene, loud smoky pubs and crap music.......shudder!

However we do look like a right pair of lezzas now though...have the haircuts and everything           

Katena - my DP also looks like a drag act when she wears a dress...it is soooooooo funny, we get her to do it when she is a little tipsy!

rosy - neighbours like it when they see you hang washing and go to Sainsburys, it helps to reassure them you do not have horns etc!  

am gabbering now...really interesting subject!!

pem x


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## katena

pem said:


> Katena - my DP also looks like a drag act when she wears a dress...it is soooooooo funny, we get her to do it when she is a little tipsy!


   Ive seen DP's childhood outfits....like little bo beep...and she was cute!! But...if i see her in a frock as an adult it may just be utterly wrong and scar me forever!!  

So...what do lezza hair cuts look like (i need to check if im in the club or not )

k


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## leoaimee

i used to have a proper lezza hair cut ... back in the day!!!  i even had tram lines shaved into the side at one point ...


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## Pinktink

People say to us all the time that we don't 'look gay' maybe it's because we are missing lezza hair cuts lol

Amber and I were both with boys before we got together     and although we have a few gay friends (who we were friends with before) I would say most of our friends are straight. 

We have never done the scene as such but both really enjoy going to gay bars and events like pride as every now and again it's nice not to have people do a double take if you smooch in public   

We also want our children to know other kids with 2 mums so even if it is not 'the norm' they understand it is not only them iyswim - so we plan to get involved in some rainbow family type groups.

As for people not getting the butch/femme thing, amber and I are both def on the femme side I find that people also struggle with that as they can't allocate us the boy/girl roles, someone actually said to me once after seeing amber for the first time, but your gf is girly too.. which one of you is the boy then? ermm... neither hence the same sex part...


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## jemima_mum

Oh god...our life is so ungay...except for both of us being lesbians that is!

We never go out on the scene for the simple fact that it is way too expensive and also *****y, dramatic and shallow! If we ever do venture out for a night out it is usually with a whole mixture of friends, married with kids, single, gay, unsure, both...as long as they don't mind us being lightweights and heading home by 10.30pm then its great!

Saying that we both used to be very gay before we met...I was the LGBT officer for uni for 2 years running, was part of the NUS LGBT campaign as steering officer etc and DP was doing a masters in Politics of Visual Representation...as she puts it a post grad in being a lesbian! She had enough of talking about it and decided to actually be it...thank goodness for me!

But when we have children will we be more gay? Probably not...as long as the child is loved and safe and happy, who cares what we are?


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## Mini Us

Bookmarking


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## evelet

This is an interesting thread. It seems that a lot of us get less 'gay' as we get older...

I think it is incredibly important for our children to be exposed to other lesbian-parented children. Most of our children will probably be the only child of lesbians in their group of immediate peers. They need to be around each other at least some of the time. That's why we go to London four times a year to meet up with our lesbian mum friends, that is why we go camping and that's why we are always looking for other gay parents in our area etc. I just think its easier for them if they know they aren't the only ones.


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## Guest

Hi Evelet,
I often wonder if we should be hanging out with a few more lesbian parents   
But then I also wonder whether it really does matter to our LOs. If I was a single Mum or had a moslem husband, for example, would I be seeking out other families who are the same. I don't know


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## Misspie

We haven't even got children, but think it woul dbe nice to have our children know of other children in the same family enviroment. I suppose you could say single parents and different religions are alot more commonly acknowledged than same sex couples! 

x


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## pem

Evelet - I SOOOOO agree with you, wish we could give Edie that opportunity, where we live is typically middle clas suburbia, we are definitely the only gay parents round here...still looking though!


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## Guest

Misspie said:


> I suppose you could say single parents and different religions are alot more commonly acknowledged than same sex couples!


I guess we are a bit more obvious too . I know when we are in very public places, like waiting to board at the airport, you can literally hear peoples brains working it out when they hear DS call me Mum and then DP Mam in the next sentence 

Anyone want to be my friend?


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## Misspie

Its nice to give people something to talk about - though some days I really just wish it wasn't me!!! 

Hehehehe - we are all after new friends!!!! Watch out


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## pem

LOL...girls


I WANT a friend too....any takers

Balls to the gossipers i say....our street is full of em...it was too funny when we moved in and they were all trying to figure us out...


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## Misspie

Our neighbours are all 65-95! You can imagine, when I introduced myself and G/F........their jaws litterally hit the floor! Well, I don't think they even know that we got married last year....but when our friends came over the other week to drop off the kids for the weekend, they were waiting outside for us to come home from work, while admiring the stream and trying to get our 2 cats to come closer to the children, but to no avail. When the guy next door walked by who is about 85 and then said without realisng what he said "they don't like men" (meaning the cats not US).....well you can imagine our friends were absolutly in hysterics!  

The older generation you have to love them! 

xxx


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## Guest

Misspie that is totally brilliant! We live in a small close of family homes and all the families are pretty cool around us and we have frequent get togethers and street parties etc. One of our neighbours is about 50 and we either make him a bit nervous or he is a bit of a perv because he always ends up throwing some sort of dodgy lesbian innuendo into the conversation and then gets all embarassed about what he's just said! They may all call us 'The ***** at number 9' for all we know but they are nice to our faces  .

Totally unrelated I know, but how do I put my own picture on my profile?


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## Pinktink

hi guys,

Our new house is part of an old mansion that has been split into 5 houses - when we moved in it was clear all of the other residents are middle class older couples so I think we were probably a bit of a shock to them - although saying that they have all been lovely... when we met one of them I was by the car and amber was inside and during our conversation he asked what my sisters name was - I said "oh she's my partner actually - her names amber" and he looked mortified and apologised and then he hugged me - I'm not good at hugging strangers so it was a strange moment but it's been making amber laugh ever since!!

we are hoping to become involved in some rainbow families groups when we have children as we agree its important for them to understand that although less people have two mums its not just them and hopefully as they grow up they will have friends who they can turn to who understand certain challenges they may face.

Lynn x


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## Damelottie

Pinktink said:


> he looked mortified and apologised and then he hugged me - I'm not good at hugging strangers so it was a strange moment but it's been making amber laugh ever since!!


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## Pinktink

Ahhh the hugging of strangers, you've got to love it!


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## leoaimee

LadyLottie said:


> Pinktink said:
> 
> 
> 
> he looked mortified and apologised and then he hugged me - I'm not good at hugging strangers so it was a strange moment but it's been making amber laugh ever since!!
Click to expand...

    too

reminded me that when i last flew with lulu on the plane we were next to a bloke in his early 40;s i would guess who told me he wsa about to have a baby .... his wife actually, anyway so we chatted for most of the flight and he was really nice. i wondered how long it would take for him to ask about my husband and so when i explained about dp ... he was also a bit embarrassed (in a sweet way) and said sorry i didnt realise ... well why would you ... and he actually held on to my arm ... not quite a hug, but almost! hug might have been too tricky in the side by side position on the plane! bless!


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## Jode

This thread has been really interesting and makes you realise how normal we all are really. I'm 30 now and have been out since I was 16 , a bit like my GF I've done the scene here in Brum and back in Sheffield ( not that there was much of a scene when I lived there). It was and still is more of a way of catching up with mates not going to pull, as the scene is in town and local to most of our friends. 

I think because I've been out for so many years most of mine and Gf's mates are gay and most are lesbian couples, most of our straight mates are old school friends etc.

We don't have any children yet but I would hope that we would be able to find some other lesbian mummys who we could have as mates. All our currents mates know we are wanting a baby and TTC and all are really supportive ( like most things buying a house etc we've been the first of all our lesbian mates to do this, I think they want to see how things go before anyone else takes the plunge!)

Next door are young and have a baby who is 11 months old they are totally cool about us, so the sooner we get going with TTC the better as our LO will have a friend to play with ! 

x


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## Mini Us

Ahem....we want friends too... 

Most of our close friends (only 3 actually) that we are in contact with are and who know we are TTC are straight. All our gay friends who have kids, had them in previous hetero-relationships. None of our 'close' lesbian friends are considering it just yet and somehow don't think we want kids either; although we always say we do, they don't seem to believe us...so when we do get pregnant, it'll be a lovely surprise.

But we would like to have friends in the same situation as us...who have 2 mummies only (and that it's ok) as opposed to 2 mummies and a 'real' daddy [This was the mortifying experience a mate of ours had... after explaining to a stranger that she was in a same-sex relationship, her 4 yr old piped in and said that he also had a 'real' daddy!]


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## cazinge

Hi girls, just popped in to check on everything & this thread really grabbed me.

DW & I aren't "gay" at all. I think we know a grand total of 6 other gay people (excluding FF) and 1 of those is DW's ex, and I wouldn't say we were friends with any of them as such. DW has had a couple of gf's b4 me but she's the first woman I've been with. I think living where we do out in the wilds of N. Wales its a bit hard to be part of a gay scene but it also means that we are v "out" - where we live is so small its impossible not to be! No-one seems to have a problem to our faces (it might help that DW runs one of 3 local drinking establishments & therefore controls access to alcohol!) 

We have a lot of straight friends, mostly couples aging from mid 20s to early 50s, and most have children. All our friends know that we want to have kids and our 2 "best" couple friends have young-ish children who I imagine our children will socialise with & its probably these people we will ask to fill godparent-type roles in our children's lives. I would like our children (asuming we ever start ttc) to know about other similar family set-ups but if we're still living here its probably not feasible for them to have regular access to them so I think we will just try to "normalise" our set-up as much as possible which I know will be helped by our friends. 

I'm not even sure we identify particularly with being "gay" simply because I don't see us as any different from any other couple & when we socialise with our couple friends we are treated as such. That is where I think I personally feel most comfortable, I find specific "gay" activities/clubs/places etc very uncomfortable but if I didn't feel able to hold hands/kiss/hug my DW in my local I might feel differently.I see the need for them but they're not for me. 

Sorry for rambling, hope everyone's ok, xx


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## LouisandPhoebe

Our lifestyle is very straight with me being a teacher and lee working for the police.  Louis made me think today. He asked if we could go and find some more children with two mummies.  So i am on a mission - They must exist in Oxfordshire!!!!


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## Guest

That is so cute! We are on the Witshire/Oxfordshire border and my Mum still lives in Wallingford where I was brought up  . There are more of us about than you think


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## LouisandPhoebe

Hi moo2275

Just noticed you conceived through the JR too with an unknown donor like us.  Your little man is lovely and great costume ( pickle has one).  

If your ever near give us a shout and we could meet up at the clumps or somthing nice.
xxx


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## nickidee

LouisandPhoebe said:


> Our lifestyle is very straight with me being a teacher and lee working for the police. Louis made me think today. He asked if we could go and find some more children with two mummies. So i am on a mission - They must exist in Oxfordshire!!!!


We are in Berkshire - so a mere stones throw away - and would be up for a local meet if you choose to accept your mission


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## Misspie

We in Oxfordshire too, no little ones yet but trying to concieve through JR at moo too. First IVF failed, but start again in Jan! We are situated between Reading and Oxford! xx


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## LouisandPhoebe

How about meeting up then! Abingdon has a lovely park, pizza express is our favourite place to eat with little people or we could venture out somewhere  else- throw me some dates and places xxx


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## Guest

LouisandPhoebe said:


> we could meet up at the clumps or somthing nice.


Where are you guys? - DP always thinks it's hilarious that 2 rather pointless 'hills' need to be given a name


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## Misspie

Where are the clumps? We've only lived her a couple of years so still exploring! 

Date wise, can you wait until we get back from hols?! In the new year maybe?! Be good to meet other couples and children, you can give us some tips on what to and what not to do 

X


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## Guest

The amazing landmark that is 'The Clumps'   is in Whittenham. If you leave Wallingford as if you were going to Brightwell or Didcot, you will see signs for The Whittenhams, and The Clumps are up there. The views and walks are lovely and we spent loads of time there as kids. Great for flying kites!


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## LouisandPhoebe

We live in Abingdon and the park their is really nice or the leisure centre.  I have never been to the clumps but its on our list to visit.  Lee works on Sundays but i have every weekend off so can meet anytime with Louis and Phoebe. Would be lovely to meet you all

Charley x


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