# Newbie!



## lady Dee (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi there, 
I have recently joined this website in the hope of further understanding and also some advice from people going though the same thing. 
My husband(40) and I (30) have been trying to conceive for a year and a half with no luck. We have been attending a fertility clinic, they have just done a Laporoscopy and have diagnosed me with type 4 endometriosis. Prior to this we had tried clomid to improve our chances. I also have some problems with my left tube and the doctor has just flushed my tubes too. He has now left us with his diagnosis and told us he can not see us for 5 weeks when going forward all fertility will be monitored. 
We are both completly confused and annoyed that we have to wait this long. We would love to start ivf straight away rather than waiting. Is there anyone else in this situation that can help?? Would love someone to talk to as every where I seem to turn someone else is pregnant at the moment. 
Lady Dee xxxx


----------



## fairywings (Feb 19, 2009)

and welcome to Fertility Friends lady Dee 

I know how frustrating it is having to wait for things to get started!  Did your doctor give you any indication as to waiting list times for your clinic? I know they do vary greatly. Are you having treatment on the NHS? I will leave you some links below which should be helpful. Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Tubal Factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*Endo ~ *CLICK HERE

*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*   CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 

Keep in touch

Fairywings xx


----------



## bearhug (Jun 19, 2009)

Hello! It's really hard being surrounded by pregnancies and babies, I think that's the great thing about this website as there are loads of us that understand what you are going through. I was going through a similar stage in January, thought it was going to start treatment as soon as I saw the consultant but ended up waiting and waiting while more of my friends gave birth or got pregnant. It'll be your turn soon hun


----------



## PaddyGirl (Apr 21, 2010)

Hi Lady Dee

You have def come to the right place, if you can't get help and support here, you can't anywhere!  It's great and all us ladies can understand and sympathise with what you are going thru.  
I know how frustrating it is when the docs tell you that you need to wait for this and wait for that, but 5 weeks really won't seem that long and why don't you use that time to read up and ask all the questions you need so that you're as focussed and relaxed as possible for when your tx begins. I didn't do that (hadn't found this website at that stage either) and I feel now that I went in totally blind to it. I wish I had researched it more. 

Good luck with your journey, keep me updated and to when your tx starts and how you get on. 

PaddyGirl xxx


----------



## TaraAbel (Mar 9, 2010)

Hi Lady Dee,

                    Did not want to read and run, you are far from alone . What was wrong with your left tube? I had a HSG about a month ago now and they discovered I have a hydrosalpinx in my right tube, going back on 19th may to see what they are going to do but they said need to remove it before can start ivf or icsi they have not decided what is going to be best yet. I understand what you mean about everyone being pregnant aroung you, everyone we know is pregnant or have not long had children and they try and reassure you but they have not got a clue what we would give to be in their situation . Like Paddy Girl says there are an awful lot of books out there i am reading Zita Wests book at the moment and it is really good lots of info i never knew(amazon best place to get it, it is only £8ish rather than £15-20, her newest book. Also infertility and fertility for dummies is quite good. You will get alot of support on here you wont find anywhere else. Where abouts do you live?which clinic?

Wishing you the best of luck  and lots of baby dust 

Tara x x


----------



## PaddyGirl (Apr 21, 2010)

Hi 

Yes, i've got Zita West's book too - it's brilliant. Def a good buy and I'd def recommend it to you.

Good luck

PaddyGirl xxxx


----------



## andytash12 (Apr 6, 2010)

Hello

I also didnt want to read and run lol! Just wanted to say hi and good luck! I joined about 6 weeks ago as Id just been told Clomid wasn't working for us and I didnt think I was coping very well with the whole infertility thing. I decided to join ff's and get referred to a counsellor. Next thing I know, the Clomid did work, just later than Day 21 bloods showed and Im about 5 and a half weeks pregnant! I cant give you any advice on IVF or anything but I wanted you to know that there is so much amazing info available on this site and all the ladies are a fantastic source of support! Really hope these next 5 weeks fly by for you (and me!) and that you get started soon!

Tash xxxx


----------



## lady Dee (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi everyone, 

Thank you so,so much for all your words of help and support. I think i have felt more support from herre in the last few days that since i started this journey. We have finally got an appointment for the 26th of May so hopefully we will know our next steps from than on. I am living in Dublin and unfortunately treatments are not funded. But I have just ordered Zitas book and have been researching loads. Unfortunately there is not alot of info out there about endometriosus. 
Lots of love and thanks to you all xxxxx


----------



## felice6605 (May 4, 2010)

Hello - I'm new to this too - I knew it would be a slow process but I hadn't envisioned quite how slow.  I'm starting to think that a private clinic would be much more helpful than the NHS.  


We had our first appointment at the fertility clinic in March.  They told us to come back in June.  They did semen, bloods, and sent me for an FSG.  It seems the FSG didn't work.  We've had no contact from the clinic to tell us, but my husband is a doctor and looked up the results.  He then phoned our GP to request a repeat, but apparently she has to now ask the clinic for a repeat -she can't book it herself.  I'm guessing we would have shown up at the clinic only to be told they couldn't do anything until the FSG was repeated and asked us to come back in October.  I'm ready to scream with impatience now.  


About pregnant women and babies everywhere - it is driving me crazy too.  I can't get my mind off of our fertility problems as there are constant reminders everywhere - work,family, friends......  Also, have you noticed that most women like to talk about nothing other than their pregnancies, birthing stories, babies and children?  It feels incredibly exclusive.


I hope someone with more experience can let us both know how long the investigation stage continues before we can look at treatments.  Time seems to go so quickly.  


Best wishes - I hope you get some answers soon and can start to work on treatments quickly.


Take care of yourself x


----------



## TaraAbel (Mar 9, 2010)

Hi Lady Dee,
                I have had to look long and hard for info on endometriosis, there are books and info but everything is circumstancial and each person is different. I feel there are still so much they are finding out about it. Endometriosis for dummies from amazon is an ok read with info but it is american so you have to bear that in mind with all the medical advise as it is private over there.

I hope all goes well on the 26th, keep us posted.

Lots of      and  

Tara


----------



## Galldora (May 2, 2010)

Hi all,

try this link:

http://www.nice.org.uk/nicemedia/live/10936/29269/29269.pdf

It's the NICE guideline for investigating/treating infertile couples.

Sorry if I've done this twice  , the first time it disappeared to I don't know where...

Anyway - v. lengthy guidelines, you may be able to find a shorter version if you're clever. If you're not satisfied with your treatment it might be worth having a look in order to apply a bit of pressure. But it's only what _should_ happen, not what has to happen. In reality there are huge variations depending on where you live, and the preferences of individual consultants.

Happy reading!

Galldora


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

Hi,
It is frustrating waiting. I know the feeling - you have to be on the ball and follow everything up yourself. 5 weeks is not considered that long in NHS terms - although it feels like a lifetime in our life.

With our investigations we had the first appointment at the GP in June 05 and saw a fertility specialist in November, who wanted an FSH level for DH. The next appointment for the result was April 06. I had a laparoscopy in May 06 - never had a follow up appointment for that!. Then DH was referred to a urologist - 5 letters/phone calls and emails later and we got an appointment for August 06. After surgery in December 06 we finally got a result at the end of March 07 and discovered that if they had found any sperm they would not have been able to freeze it as the hospital was not a fertility clinic!

One thing I would say is that for the next couple of months after this tube wash out you should try very hard to conceive - I am the result of my mother's laparoscopy 39 years ago! She had been TTC for about 10 years and lap and dye was a very new thing then - she got pregnant naturally within a few weeks of her operation. There is good evidence that you stand a high chance of pregnancy if they managed to get fluid through your tubes and you have a DH with normal sperm and are ovulating in the weeks after a tube wash out.

I take it DH has normal semen analysis?

You can't just start IVF immediately either - you need to have hormone tests, viral blood tests for you and DH, a check of your ovarian reserve to plan your cycle before you start.


----------



## hope10 (Jan 29, 2010)

hi


----------



## wonderland (May 6, 2010)

Hi I'm new here too,
5 weeks is horrible I've been waiting 4 weeks for an HSG and wont see the consultant for another 4 weeks after that. What worries me is if the government start making cuts to the NHS because of the economic crash, we are going to see waiting lists getting longer year on year. They really have us over a barrel on this coz once you have got so far down the road with the NHS you cant really back out and loses your place in the queue. And all the books keep telling you to be clam and inside your boiling with rage about it all.

Basically as our American cousins would say 'I hear you sister'


----------



## lady Dee (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi Everyone, 

I hope that you are all good and thanks again for all your help and support. 
We went back to the doc yesterday and to be honest it was even more frustrating than before. He went through the results from the op and I feel like some of the info he told me on the day had now slightly changed. He just seemed so busy and we both felt he wanted to just get us in and out as quickly as possible. He told us that we now had two options of iui or ivf. We decided to try iui first as I am terrified that I will go completly nuts on the meds as I was so emotional and moody on the clomid. We were than told that we would have to come in to sign a consent form after reading all the information. We both felt nervous but excited at the thoughts that things were moving on. Than we were told that the appointment to do this would be ont he 29th of June and than treatment probably would not start for another six weeks after this date We we both completly left gutted. Can I ask does this treatment start with tracking and do they have to track my cycles for a month or months before we actually begin hormones 
I was so frustrated and angry that hot tears just fell all night. I left the hospital to see heavily pregnant women outside smoking and all i wanted to do was scream and shout about how unfair and crap this dilema truelly is. I think all of us going through this should be more supported and have more places to turn. Has anyone else gone through this experience in ireland?? 
Girls as always thank you for listening to my rant and all your advice is hugely appreciated. In the last week both my sister and boss have announced thier pregnancy and this site is really getting me through so thanks all again xxxx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

I am sorry that things are taking so long. If you can go private I would suggest you do!

I have no experience of IUI, so I can't help there. I guess they would only track for one month.

One thing I would suggest, that I have only just discovered this week and wish I had 10 years ago, is a book called Conquering Infertility - by Dr Alice Domar.
I got mine through Amazon for about £5 and it is like reading off a mirror or listening to a tape of my own brain's thought loops. All those comments you made about the preggo women smoking and all the other things we go through like pregnancy announcements and insensitive comments and the lack of control etc.
The book acknowledges these thoughts and feelings and teaches you coping strategies. A whole host of coping strategies, a lot based on eliciting a relaxation response so that your stress hormones return to normal. Her program has been shown to increase success.
I have only been reading it for a week and I feel better already. I have started trying some of the techniques and already seen a difference in my outlook. I have been in some very dark places over the last few years and thought I would never find anyone who could teach me how to cope. I can't wait to read the rest of it.

I am even considering going to one of the mind body courses run in the UK.


----------



## lady Dee (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi Again,

Hopeful Hazel thank you so much for your help. I am going to order that book right away. We have now had a bit of a turn around and done lots more reading and found that women with endo have a very low chance of getting pregnant with iui. So we are going to bite the bullet and put all our eggs in the ivf basket. We are nervous but so excited. We rang the hospital to advise and again they came along with their big pin to burst our bubble. They told us that we needed to attend an open meeting on the 21st of June with 80 other couples and that at the end of this meeting we would fill in a questionaire and than all couple would have to send in forms and than appointments would follow in the next 4-6 weeks. They said you would than have another possible 8 weeks before begining treatment. I know I must sound impatient but holy crap does it really take this long and be so drawn out? Everything in Ireland is private so we are paying these people €5000 to wait around. 

Hopeful Hazel I really do appreciate your help, yet another pregnancy announcement last night and the couple are about to have a christening for their first aged 9 months next weekend. So dreading all the baby talk and nudges about us getting a move on. Everything just seems so unfair at times. Maybe I can read the book before i get there and it will help! 

Thanks again xxxxx


----------

