# Just a rant and babble



## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Hi all well still waiting after being approved in December which was probably worst time to get approved as you have Christmas and of course everything just stops as people are off work I wish our LA and sw were better at communication as it has been us pushing her to check for profiles what with half term just gone she had that week off and we haven't replied at all she has only just emailed us the other day saying "you are still being considered for children" (I hope so!) but nothing more my DH and u have got to the point of giving up hearing from her and we have just got on with our lives we will probably go away Easter hols hoping to tempt fate that they will get in contact with a profile then but not sure what else to do. 
We have already heard from our adoption buddies who were with us on training that two couples we know have been matched and started intros it disheartens you happy for them but also equally jealous that they are there already at the point we want to be. Friends and family have never given up asking how it's all going and it's gone quiet anyway sorry ranting and blabbing on just needed to talk sigh


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

I know it's not what you want to hear and it's not going to help one bit but it's still early days, your child/ children are out there somewhere just waiting for paths to cross.

I know the feeling of being happy for people yet at the same time being jealous that they have matches and are starting intros, happened to us on both journeys, but we got there took us 2 yrs from enquiring to placement 1st time and 2 yrs 4 months from officially applying to placement 2nd time, time feels like nothing once you have your children.

Hope you find your match soon x


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Don't give up, it took us three months to get our link, but he was well worth the wait.


I hope you hear soon


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

It is very hard tiger babe but our los are out there somewhere, they just aren't quite ready for us yet.  We've been approved since September.  SW not great at keeping in touch - she said she would be in touch last week to arrange to come out and we're still waiting. We are also going to book a holiday but probably end of May then hopefully definitely tempting fate   take care xx


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## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Thanks ladies for all the advice and support this is why I'm glad I found this site as we are not alone and understand one another I hope out LO is out there and will find us soon and I hope your LOs find you soon too.


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Hi Tiger, 

We also have a next-to-useless SW who hardly ever replies to emails, she works part-time but seems to change which days she's working each week.  

We sent her an email on the 3rd March and got a reply yesterday!  We urgently need some family training, and she knows it's urgent yet this has been going on since December!

Anyway back to timescales, you really need to be the proactive ones and start becoming a pain-in-the-butt for your SW, pester them constantly, subscibe to CWW or BMP (I recommend online only), contact the National Register to make sure your details are on there, attend Activity Days (adoption parties) and Exchange Days (a bit like job fairs) and just keep pushing.

Finally, please don't try comparing with other adopters it really isn't healthy.  Remember that we all have different considerations which help narrow down the search criteria, and the narrower that search the harder it is to find profiles.  I'm not saying change your matching considerations, but broaden your search area.

Hope that helps,

Paul x


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## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Thanks Paul for the reply I will take all onboard and my DH and I will be checking out websites and sorting out national register soon


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## tigerbabe (May 26, 2011)

Well update here is sw said they may have another match for us but nothing confirmed as child sw is on leave til may !! Everything stops again not only this have had a night mare day as my boss wanted to see me and has told me as nothing has happened yet ie adoption that people taking over my position will be starting and that I will be moved and used as a floater instead  I'm really upset today doesn't seem to be a smooth ride but a rollercoaster again just when you thought you had left it


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## babas (Oct 23, 2013)

Tigerbabe is that even legal!!?? I don't think it is.


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)




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## mamu (Mar 16, 2013)

I'm so sorry! How frustrating!!   May... that's seems like an eternity! And I agree with babas, is it legal what your boss is doing?


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

I would query that with your boss or go higher as I also don't think they can do that. The only kind of notice you have to give is once you are officially matched at panel, which you are not. They can't penalise you/change your role just because you have given advance notice that you will be adopting in the future! It could have ramifications once you return to work as your last role will be 'floater' iyswim. Def don't take this lying down (& speak to your union rep if you have one).


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Took the words out of my mouth, if you have a recognised union then speak to a rep urgently.

BTW I'm a Disability & Equality union rep - I'll ask a few of my colleagues what they think, but to me that is unlawful.

They can't change your contract terms and conditions without agreement (by you), they will also be indirectly discriminating against you if no other employee is subject to similar changes in their contracts.

Speak to HR if no union representative is available, also give AdoptionUK a call for guidance.


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