# Wondering what to do?



## Cat121 (May 14, 2006)

Hi Guys,

Very glad to join, though sorry to start so heavy but I could really do with some insight etc

Ip's and I have had 2 failed transfers (GS), plan had been to now go to Russia for donor eggs. However, legally we have found out this is impossible as it will leave things post-delivery VERY complicated and I could end up in trouble with the law, so IP's and I can't go to Russia now.  IP's are now asking if I would consider TS if IF gets a vasectomy reversal.

A few things really...

I know that this can be a really lengthy process with waiting for surgery, recovery etc before starting insems, then plotting cycle and then waiting for a BFP each month - so I guess I'm unsure about how much longer I put my life on hold (we had originally agreed to 3 attempts).

I love my IP's to bits and really wanted to help them but I guess I've felt so disappointed at 2 failures that I underestimated  how affected I might be.

I know that it can also be easier - no taking time off work for clinic appts, transfers etc, no drugs, no doc fiddling about with my girlie bits etc

But I guess I'm also wondering about whether going TS is something I could do. I do think I would find it more emotional, GS felt kinda impersonal (as in embie detached from me etc). 

I know no-one can answer this question for me - so I guess the wondering about whether I would be thinking IP's baby or pt mine would be something I have to think on.  

To the TS's out there - how did your family respond, what about your own children - how do they feel about it?

It's weird actually - I feel very comfortable about donating to someone else if we could then get some donor eggs, I guess I'm wondering about how I would feel 'knowing' and 'carrying' this child - am I nuts??

Oh, so many questions whirring around my head - a girl could go mad!

Ultimatley I want IP's to be parents - they will be GREAT! Question is am I now the one to help

Catherine x

ps Hi to Nostalgic Sam - I set up Yahoo messenger, let me now your addy and I can finally cyberchat xxx


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## sunrise (Aug 24, 2005)

Hi Catherine,
I have been a straight surrrogate twice now and at present 23 weeks pregnant with a host baby.
Before venturing into Straight (the first time round) ( 1st surro baby is now 8 yrs old)I took time to think about it,My view was it was a very small part of me being used to produce a baby and if I hadnt been pregnant with the surrogate baby my egg would have not been used anyway.It was not a child conceive through our family so it wasnt part of our family. I have my children and didnt really want any more than the 4 I had.I did have my 5th child (not planned)and he is now 6 years old. Then had the 2nd surrogate child who is now 3 yrs old.

My children dont see the child as their half brother or sister even though they know biologically it is.They see it more as a distant cousin or a friend of the family's child.
If you wish to PM me please do so.

Lorraine


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

Hi Catherine,
So pleased to hear from you but so sad to hear that things haven't worked out as planned and I can understand you feeling so emotional and upset about things, as for straight surrogacy all I can say is that only you know in your heart if you can be a straight surro for your lovely IP's......I guess you all need a lil time and space to decide what you want to do....email me anytime or chat to me on msn messenger via 
Love
Sam
x

** No email addresses please - PM this to each other **


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