# How to move on - Ivf failure



## Tbird1 (Jun 4, 2014)

Morning all, 

This is my first ivf cycle, and although my officially otd is 22nd I have tested and it is negative. I knew it was, as I know my body so well and have a little four year girl so I know what it feels like to be pregnant. 

I feel like such a failure, I had 2 day transfer with 2 four cell embroys. My little girl has started school now and I feel so lost. I am crying everyday, I am waking up crying!! 

I am supposed to be back at work, but I have taken leave as I am in such a bad place. 
The pain of thinking I will never have another baby is so unbearable, I so wanted to be able to tell my little princess she was going to be a big sister. My partner is really upset and I feel I have let him down, we took a loan to pay for this treatment. 

Will this feeling of wanting another child ever go! I am so blessed already I know that, so please don't think I am being ungrateful. 

I am weaning my self of the steroids they gave me, as this is the cause of the low mood I hope!!!!! I am not this person and it is scaring me to think I may never come out of it.

I foolish believed as I fell naturally before, this would work. 
I need to get out of this low mood and quickly, 

Please can anybody tell me if this gets any easier? I am normally a strong person.


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## Baking Queen (Jul 7, 2014)

Tbird
Please feel free to tell me to butt out but I think you've tested too early if your OTD isn't until next Monday. I'm 10dp2dt but am not even considering testing until Friday at the earliest because it can take a while for HCG to show up. Yes, some people have a BFP this early but plenty of others don't. Please don't stop your medication yet - hold on for a few more days and test again.
Fingers crossed.
BQ. xx


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## Tbird1 (Jun 4, 2014)

Baking queen. 

I hear what you are saying, but I just know 100% that it has not worked. If I had any doubt I would never put the unborn baby at risk. I have not stopped the medication, as you have to wean yourself or slowly, just tool 15mg instead of 20mg xx 

I want to be wrong. I really do xx

Thanks for replying xx


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## simone546 (Dec 25, 2011)

Tbird, I'll be honest with you, I think you're being silly to stop or cut down on meds now. I tested two days before otd, was sure it hadn't worked, was bfn. Then on otd I had a faulty test (not even one line) was so convinced it hadn't worked stopped all my meds. 9 days later felt off and a bit weird,  bfp. Ended in mc. Will never know if it would have made it if hadn't stopped meds. Don't be stupid like me!


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## Tbird1 (Jun 4, 2014)

Jessica546 - thank you, I guess this morning I was in a really bad place ! Irrational, hormonal , pathetic and was feeling very sorry for myself !! 

Jessica - i am so sorry for the loss that you suffered. 

I will continue for the "what if" or " just in case"


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## BUFFYBOXER (Dec 14, 2007)

Just second what others say please keep up with meds as every pregnancy is different, your daughter was a natural pregnancy and this is ivf so your body will act differently good luck and wait till otd x


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## angelica_wales (Oct 10, 2012)

Tbird - I echo what the other ladies are saying - it's still a week before OTD. I too got a BFN on OTD and found out 2 weeks later it was a BFP which ended in mc (albeit IUI not IVF)

take a look at this link for Hcg levels and pregnancy tests and hold on!

Fingers crossed for you xx

http://www.nyufertilitycenter.org/ivf/embryo_transfer

/links


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## Littlemissv (Mar 6, 2013)

Hi Tbird,
This really is just my opinion BUT Clinics give us test dates for a reason. It's because that is the point at which we are most likely to get a true result. I know on many of the cycling threads on here people test early BUT this can be misleading for BFPs as they may be chemicals, and for BFNs that it's just too soon for levels of HCG. 

My counsellor says testing early is one of the most emotionally damaging thing you can do during IVF as it just adds yo the emotional turmoil. I know the 2ww is the worst thing ever - but you cannot rush this. It takes as long as it takes...

Lovely lady - with a 2dt your embryo still has a minimum 3 day development time and that's before we look at the 3-5 days for implantation... So there is absolutely no way you should be believing this bfn if you are a week away from your OTD. 

Please - keep taking the drugs and keep looking after yourself. You are not out of the game yet.
And these emotions and "knowing" you are out are linked to the drugs you are taking which play havoc with your hormones.

Please don't give up yet... It's way too soon.

Keep strong and keep believing

L x


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