# The Royal Infirmary Edinburgh : Part 32



## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

New home  

Lots of love and luck to you all     

Rachel x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

ohh i'm first


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Morning,

Oh Berry countdown now..............24hrs till bloods. Hope you are bearing up ok.

Hope everyone else are doing ok really sorry to hear  of the negative results of late    to all.

C x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Berry,

I can understand that you are now very worried. I am sorry that you have another day to wait, that must be hard. I hope you might be wrong about your AF. Can you fuill you day with things to takethis off your mind - even just a little bit?? Wish I coudl help you better.
Thinking of you.

Flash - same to you - thinking and   for you.

Cazzaw - hello!!

Sorry , am at work. BIG hello to everyone else.


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Hi AnneS

Hope you are keeping ok.......   for Monday 

C x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Berry fingers crossed for tomorrow.
Just want to bookmark so I can find this new thread. Thanks Rachel!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

I'm just home from a really nice lunch with DH. That took my mind of things for a little bit...


AF pains have sort of calmed down a bit. When i was out for luch i went to the loo as u do and there was a lot of the discharge from the cirione. There was a little bit of dark brown mixed with a bit, not a lot but a bit.... i started to freak out a bit. But i then rembered that i never have had brown b4 AF!! never not even when on tx , i dont even spot i usually just go stright into full AF..... so i found this really weird.... i dunno what to think... is this bad? 

xxxx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Litteareca sending you a   so sorry AF turned up  

Irish I used the couselling at ERI last tx and it really helped me. She helped me deal with all sorts of issues too not just tx related but by the end I was feeling a whole lot better about things.

Flash this must be really stressful for you. Really sorry its all dragging out so long. Did you get further info from nurse?

Berry lots of people have AF type pains when they are pregnant so try not to read anything into it. Not long now this time tomorrow you will know. The 2ww is the worst torture. Glad dh is spoiling you. I think brown is definitely good. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

I had scan on Friday and saw one lovely heartbeat   the nurses were all so excited for us and Dr Lee was right chuffed with his self, he did our EC&ET so I thanked him for doing such a good job.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry, I am very positive for you, it's great news that there is no bleeding and the brown - who knows, implantation, the progesterone, changes to the cervix?? It all sounds good. I hope you manage to get a bit of sleep tonight. What time are you going in tomorrow?

Jane that is great news about the scan. It's lovely when you have the same staff all the way through, so you can share your happiness. The counselling does sound a good idea. I'm thinking of going in before the treatment, to talk about the failure last time, get it out of my system. DP's idea, but it makes sense.

I will phone the ERI about the AMH again tomorrow, as it hadn't come back when I phoned last time.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi Marta - I'm going in about 8am tomorrow so that i can get it over with. I had a bit more of the brown with the discharge.... sorry for the TMI but i really need some advice, the discharge is thick and clumpy... sort of dry but its got dark brown almost black. what the heck is this?? do u think this is af trying to come? if it was fresh blood would it turn dark if it was absorbed with the crinone? ohh help please!!!!


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Berry, Feeling really hopefull for you, and from what I've heard from others, sounds good, i've heard that brown clumpy stuff is not from womb but from cervix which is GOOD that it is discharging, so one last little  tonight for tomorrow.  maybe see you there tom morn!!

Jane - ooh, how perfect for you, you must be feeling over the moon . I know how you feel about the doctors and nurses (most of the time ), I feel sometimes I want to bring them home for tea they are so nice!

Irish - hey how are you doing . I would def recommend the counsellor there. Completely forgotten her name  but she was just a little bit of peace in that crazy place and time after a BFN so that you just felt you could pour your heart out to. Really helped me got over a few very low weeks. DH was on the verge of coming with me (big deal for him) as he was impressed with my talks afterwards but then Xmas etc took over. Hope you and DH are OK

martakeithy- So when would you begin again when you get the results of AMH back, after your next AF? Hope to hear good news about the result 

AnneS - so how you feeling now, hope you've got nice things planned for the weekend and good luck for Monday and fingers crossed for 2!!, 

I had a bit of low abdominal pain this morning which got worse and worse through the day then by 3.30ish when it was really bad, my friend at work said "you're phoning eri or else!" They said to come straight up so was seen there by half 4. Ectopic prg mentioned etc but scan didn't show that and ovaries and womb looked OK. Doc Dow ??pointed out a *tiny * little sac in the womb, really tiny that we will just have to wait and see what happens to it. Anyway it was good to ask all the questions. They err on the side of caution which is OK I suppose, don't think anything is really clear at this stage. A codeine tablet has helped with the pain but I wont go into the other discussion about my bowels (sorry tmi!!). They want to scan again tomorrow morning (good as I've got more q's!!)

Big hello and cyber hugs to everyone else

Hx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash - i'l b there with DH, r u going about 8am? i'll prob have puffy eyes!!! AF will have showen!


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Oh Berry they asked me for a time and I said 8.30!! Not bothered about getting into work early these days!! Good old DH accompanying you, damn sight better than mine! Keep calm hun, its all gonna be good for you


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Berry I've found this on ask baby website about implantation bleeding:
_
'Appearance - Implantation bleeding tends to be a lighter pink/brown colour rather than the dark red that's usual for menstrual blood.'
'Heaviness - Unlike the progressively heavy flow of a menstrual period, implantation bleeding tends only to occur as light spotting or coloured discharge.'_

Flash thats scary. Glad you were seen a hospital and you are being see again tomorrow.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Jane - thank you... ur too good to me!!! I would say that my brown/black is not really a discharge it just looks like a dry bit inside the white gloops from the cirnone... really weird!!! 

Flash - i might be there at that time.. i'll see what happens if i know its all over then i'll prob go very late as i wont care about blood result. I feel really poo.

I just had the biggest strongest AF pain!!! i've also got really sore legs 2night, especially in the thigh.... weird!!!


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Berry - good luck for tomorrow.  I hope it will be a positive result for you...    

Flash - I hope you get on ok tomorrow.  I wil be thinking about you...  

Marta - hopefully you will get your AMH result tomorrow..

Jane - that was great about your scan..  I can't wait for the day I can experience that...

Anne - good luck for Monday...    

Thanks for all your messages about my Aunt.  It has been a really tough week for me and my family.  The funeral is on Monday so that will provide some closure and we can start to move back to normality.  We have our next appointment on Wednesday and hopefully should get a date for starting TX.

xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi JSparrow I hope the funeral goes OK and you get through it in one piece. It will be good to be able to talk about your aunt with other people who knew and loved her.

We have been advised to get back in touch at the start of my next cycle, which should be the 8th of July.
The last cycle we did started the down-regging on day three of my cycle, but I'm not sure that they will want to do this at the ERI - even though the cycle went quite well in terms of number of eggs. I'm worried now in case they do everything differently and I get rubbish results. Because we are self-funding we can't afford many mistakes.
It seems more likely the down-reg will start on day 21, which is the 29th of July and then it's another 2-3 weeks before I start stimming. It seems like aaages.
They said they didn't do a day five transfer at ERI, because they didn't see any difference in results, but most of the research suggests there is a difference, so I'm not sure how many results they have compared. I might ask for a day five if there are enough good quality eggs. 
What do you think they will say about starting your next cycle?


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Good luck Berry     

C x


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Good luck berry  
Thinking about you  

xx


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## Ebony2005 (Jan 17, 2006)

Hi girls
Hope you dont mind me butting in - so many new people on here now but I still read the posts everyday and am thinking of you all.

Just wanted to say to Berry - good luck.
I thought it was all over for me when I had browny discharge the day before testing and was terrified after that to go to bathroom - but it turned into a BFP.  It must have been late implantation.
Really hoping that this is the same for you.

Flash - hope you get all the answers you need today at ERI - thinking of you.

Hope you all have a good day

Hannahxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

well i'm bk from RI and i am so nervous!!! I feel sick! i hate all the waiting! i just wanna curl up into a little ball and be a child again so i have no problems!!! I know this phone call is gonna be a bad one!   

Thanks everyone for all the messages... your all so lovely, i dont thinki could do this without u.

Flash- how u get on? Was that u with  the black cardigin? i had a denim jacket on. I hope u went well xxxx


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

for you Berry!


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry fingers crossed this is the one!        
Did you sleep OK?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta - i slept ok lastnight. but as soon as i woke up at 6 this morning i was feeling sick!!! I mentioned to the nurse about the brown spotting but it was like she didn't want to commit her herself which i understand. I just wish we got our results a bit quicker!!!

Cazza - thanks again xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Do they phone you? When will you find out? I'm nervous waiting as well.  
Do you think you could have a nap, to pass the time?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

I've to phone them... well i think i will get DH to do it this time as last time i actually had a crying fit on the phone to poor nurse Emma...  i dont wanna do that agaain!  I'm sooooo dreading this! I might try and nap... but i bet i will just lie in bed thinking


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Berry,

I done the same thing......could hardly talk when the nurse answered the phone I started bubbling as soon as I dialed the phone number.

They must get it all the time.....

90 mins to go...........and counting.

C x


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

At work and feeling really low so don't think I'll last long...

berry,           so hope June 26 will be a day to remember, these last couple of hours are torture eh?  .  Wasnt me with the black cardi!  Was it you with the pink shoes and DH looking at the car magazine!!

Scan this morning with Dr Kini which just showed everything normal, he explained that the chance of this going on to a prg was about 80/20 against.  It was awful hearing that.  Blood taken for HCG level again and tears with the nurse as just couldn't cope with thought of next few days or even weeks. If the level rises again I'll be seen next week and they will have to consider what to do next.
It just sounds awful    

Check back to see how berry got on
X


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

I got dh to call as well...the waiting is far too long. We went to Dobbies last week after the blood test and just walked round in a bit of a daze before stuffing our faces on chocolate eclairs!!  

I have just summoned the strength to call the clinic to make an appt for our review and counselling. Have to wait a month for our review which I think is quite long, but can't be helped. Counselling is on 8th July and dh and I will go together. Feel a bit more human now but it has been a v long working week and I can't wait for the weekend.

berry will be checking back here regularly today and hope you manage to have a wee nap  

flash how did you get on? I hope you managed to get some answers  

Big    to everyone else xx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

flash i must have posted at the same time as you. I was sorry to read your post. It must be unbearable and I am thinking about you   Hope you can manage to leave work early

lots of love x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash it was not me with pink shoes... what did u have on? maybe i seen u... DH was reading a car mag this morning! xxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

I had jeans and a blue short sleeved checked blouse on and was reading a magazine


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

nah i dont think i was there when u were..... i'm gonna pass out now!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

oh lord i had more brown just there!!!


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## little a (Jul 24, 2008)

berry, just want to say masses of luck for your result.
        


i'll be back on later to do personals. big   to everyone
xx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

berry are you there? 

xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

OHH MYYY GODDDDDD\!!!!!!


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Berry, oh fantastic!!!!!, congratulations    to you and dH   , countdown to the scan!!  When is it??

hxxxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

The Scan is 17th of July at 10am.... my level was 53... i thought it was a bit low so i asked Dr Kini about it and he said its not low.... its a defo positive..... i'm a bit worried but soooo happy


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

oh berry congratulations - I feel like I might cry      

I am so pleased for you both...we needed a good result on this board!!

sending you big hugs and kisses


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thank you Irish.... i feel so so so  weird.... its not sunk in... i cried all day... i really thought af was gonna come and it was gonna be all over.... just hope my scan goes well now!!!


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Berry that is absolutely fantastic


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thanks Jane.. i'm a bit worried to be honest about my HCG... what is it ment 2 be over? is it 40?? or 50?? i was 53... Dr Kini sait it was not low.. but i dunno...


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry that's fantastic news!!! Hooraaaaay! I couldn't look when I went to this page and then I saw the big BFP!    
I'm going to give you a shake though, stop worrying for five minutes! 
Really chuffed for you and your DH!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta - thanks hun!!! i feel so happy!!!


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## little a (Jul 24, 2008)

Berry, i'm so happy for you hun.  Big congrats.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
I have just got my AMH and it was 5.9. Apparently this means I should have a normal response to stimulation. 

Flash I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time, you must be desperate to have things confirmed one way or the other. Stay strong. Really hoping for a positive outcome for you. 

Irish, it's lovely to hear from you, I'm so glad you are feeling a bit more human. Counselling sounds a great idea.

Ebony thank you for your good wishes. I hope you are feeling well.


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Yes Berry you are a worrier     I think the HCG depends on when the embie implanted so it could just be a late implantation. HCG 2 weeks after hcg trigger would be 40-300 so yours is in the right range


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thanks Littleareca... i hope ur ok, been thinking about u lots xxx


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

YEY Berry!!!!!! Huge congratulations! I don't post much but I have been reading and watching for your result - so thrilled for you. I actually had a tear in my eye when I saw your BFP, and I don't even 'know' you! You must be so happy. Big big congratulations. xx  

Marta - glad to hear your AMH level was good - that's excellent news. x


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

martakeithy - that's great news, bet you feel relieved so lots of     vibes for you to start tx  

Berry - oh hun, I guess its tough even after a BFP as you want time to rush by to the next stage? Try to relax and just celebrate tonight with er, whats your favourite softie drink at the moment? and a lush tea!   

Uh, well my HCG is still rising, up to about 300 today but more stern warnings from eri that the chances are still 80/20.  Trying to get my head around things and well - stay sane until Wednesday next week   .  

Take care
x


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## Ebony2005 (Jan 17, 2006)

Hi - just checked in and wow - CONGRATULATIONS BERRY!!
Didnt want to say too much but your symptoms were very similar to mine before I got my BFP.  I had thought it was all over and was dreading the call - but got a really nice surprise.  Dont think you were on this board then but I was really panicking thinking it was all over but it wasnt.
Samuel is now 7 weeks old!!

Wishing you a fantastic pregnancy - enjoy a wee celebration tonight.

Hannahxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash that's quite a long wait for you. I hope it goes quickly. You never know, 20% odds aren't the worst. I think the odds on IVF working aren't far off that and people get lucky all the time.
Not much to do but wait and see, so you may as well book in to a lovely health spa to help pass the time, and eat a nice bun.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thanks again to everyone for all the lovely messages.

Flash when is it u have to go for ur scan?? xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi everyone,

just checked in to see how you are all doing after I spent yet another day in ERI as I found some real blood this morning and was so worried. My cervix is really irritated. They did another examination  , but very nice doctor and nurse and this time they also scanned me as this was the third time I had this problem. Scan showed to bubs busy kicking each other - i burst into tears. 
I wish I had not all this spotting and bleeding but it just seems to be the way with me. They did not find anything that worries them. I will still have teh Monday appointment to see the twin specialist.

Berry, I nearly   with joy when I read your news. Any result above 50 is valid and with your symptoms I guess that you had late implantation and your levels will rise quickly from now. Congratualtions hunnie!!!!

Flash - what a difficult time you are having. I so hope you will get clarification on Wednesday. Senging you  

Everyine else - apologies for not more personals, but I am shattered. 


xx Caroline


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

AnneS- thanks hun!!!  I'm so so happy! I'm really glad ur scan went well and you seen ur babies!!! awww how lovely!!!! I'm hoping mine is a late implanter and thats y they hcg was low.... fingers crossed!!!! My scan date is the 17th July!! whoo hoo xxxx


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Hi everyone.

Fantastic news Berry,          

AnneS glad you got good news today too.......I was at ERI today too as had pains we were there 4 hrs!! all ok tho think its maybe ligaments or poss a waterworks infection!!

Hope everyone else has a good weekend.

C x


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Thanks everyone for ur messages, I'm having a bit of alone time tonight so nice to hear ur thoughts  

martakeithy - thanks for the idea   texted a friend and we're off to get our nails done tomorrow! Lots of relaxation and   until the start of ur cycle!

Caroline - Oh that must have be a worry for you, poor hun! Soooo glad it was made good by seeing 2 bubs and reassurance from docs. Good luck on Monday.

Berry - back for scan on Wednesday, DH wants to come as well which will be good   .  Snuggle down the two of you tongiht!

Hope the sun shines for us and have a great weekend
Hx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Berry - many congratulations on your BFP!!!!!             

Flash -     

Marta - good news on your AMH - mine was around 8 so anything above 5 is positive...

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

congratulations berry

  sorry not been on much 

  been having a little bad time but i will get through it 

  still trying to lose the weight but finding it really hard 

  so dont look good for baby at the moment i have tried every diet and nothing works 

  so i went and got a pup to see if walking helps 

  he is an 8 week old collie we called him harvey


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi everyone!
how r u's all?
sorry no been on for a while was having a bit of a hard time(lots of friends have had babies or pregnant)
feeling bit better going on holiday in 2 wks hopefully it will help!!!!!    

Berry congrats so pleased for u xxxx take good care of yourself!!
quick q has anyone been told if the waiting list has changes ie how long have 2 wait?

luv to u all 
michelle xxxx


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## mimou (Mar 24, 2007)

I haven't posted on this thread for ages !
just wanted to congratulate Berry - fab news - so pleased for you!!! 

Helen - you must be going through a horrible horrible time of uncertainty - I am thinking of you and willing it to work this time ! Take care of yourself           

love mimou x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Flash I hope you enjoyed your nail appointment. Do you have big gold nails with a lightening flash on them? What are you doing tomorrow?

Berry did you have a good night last night? Is it sinking in yet?

Anne how traumatic with the spotting. But it's lovely that you saw both of your babies and interesting to hear that your two bubs are already having fights, just you wait until they are four! 

Sparrow, do you know what the scale is for measuring AMH? I did a quick google yesterday and there seem to be quite a few.

Michelle and Scotlass sorry to hear  you have both been having a hard time. It's hard work this TTC and assisted conception. 

Cazzaw I hope you are feeling better today

Not much to report here, but got my bill from the ERI this morning and fainted! We're not going have much money to spend after that. Looks like we are going to have to keep our old banger another year.


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## Twinkle0801 (Feb 23, 2009)

hey michelle if it the nhs waiting list then a was put on in Oct 08 n a was told at ma last appointment this month that it shud b another 18months or so in a should be near the top. Hope that helps x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the messages... its still not sunk in yet... i'm too scared to believe it!!! 

I have been getting really bad AF pains the past couple of days and i'm so so worried about it, i'm gonna phone the clinic 2morrow about it and see what they say. I'm also really worried that my hcg is not increasing... but as u all know i do worry!! lol 

xxxxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Marta - when I saw Dr Thong, he said that a rating of anything above 5 was normal for AMH.  He also said that it was rare to get a reading near 15...  Hope this helps..

Hope everything is well with everyone..  xx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Been keeping a low profile, so not been on in ages.

Berry - big congratulations hun, thats fab news for you       .  I know its so hard especially for you  , but try not to worry over every little symptom and twinge, you'll just send youself insane.  If you thought the 2ww was hard, the 3ww to your scan is a nightmare! There's lots of help on the preg threads, with girls waiting for scan, etc.  So should be able to give you extra support if you need it  

Flash - oh hun, hadn't realised you were in this position, keeping fingers and toes, and everything esle crossed that your levels keep rising, and you've got a wee fighter on board.  Big hugs hun   .  

Sorry, don't have time for personals, dog's is pacing looking for me to take him for walkies!

Big hugs to everyone  
Dxx

PS Marta - know what you mean about ERI bills!  Just got ours through for cycle in August


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry, you are funny. They probably know it's you when the phone goes at the ERI.   Have a lovely night.

Sparrow thanks for that. I saw some strange discussions where AMH was ranked between 1 and 6 and another where it was up to 15 and another was something else    

Peanuts, did you need a sit down after seeing the bill. I was hoping to have some acupuncture, but I will probably be able to afford ten minutes once a month with the money left over.

I've started taking 25mg of DHEA, it's only been a week and I have SPOTS. Not many, but they are on my jawline and are quite large. Nice!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta- i know, i hate having to phone the clinic when i tell them its me they prob all start laughing!!! My i'm just sooo paranoid! The AF pains r really sore, i have never experinced pains this sore, i sont think its a good sign to be honest... but who knows.


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi all
twinkli yeah its for nhs we were put on the waiting list oct last lear and they told us 2 years?
should i fone to ask
anyones advicexxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Just 2 let u all know i'm booked in for a scan this morning at 11am. I phoned ERI this morning about the AF pains i have been feeling and also about feeling a little bloated. They said they will give me a scan to check over everything... is it way too soon to see a little sack? Is that just wishful thinking!? lol   xxxx


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## Twinkle0801 (Feb 23, 2009)

i got told got was 3years so not sure hopefully it is 2years though x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Berry,

are you there and ok? We are here for you.

x CA x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hey everyone,

sorry AnneS i feel asleep when i got home!!   

Every on the scan was fine, no OHSS. DR Raja said everything was fine and the pains r just everything settling down mixed with some early preg cramps and i've not to worry. He said as long as no blood everything should be fine! so here goes, the bit long wait until the 17th of July.... i really hope we see a heartbeat... i will be devastated if we done.... but i'll keep     

berry xxxx


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Hi everyone,

Hope you are all good.


Glad all ok with you Berry and AnneS great news for you too must be a weight of your shoulders.

martakeithy  I am feeling a lot better ty think it may have been "growing" pains.

C x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello Everyone, I have been lurking for a little while but having had my first appointment at the IVF clinic today decided to join and introduce myself.  We are going to be starting treatment in September with the ET due in October.  Really excited but also rather nervous.  In reply to the question earlier about the NHS funding, we were originally told it would be upwards of 3 years but it has worked out for us just over the 2 years.  Looking forward to getting to know everyone, you all sound very friendly and supportive and I think thats such a fantastic thing especially as I havent told many people about the IVF treatment yet.


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi all!
What a chatty lot you were over the weekend! I was trying to keep my head down but looked every day of course! 
Trying to think about other things apart from increasing HCG level and the next scan on Wednesday but it was pretty impossible!  told a friend and went for a bit of a pamper on Saturday at her health club so that helped! 
To make it "worse", - developed sore (.)(.)'s over the weekend and had AF type pains so was pretty sure it was on its way but so far nothing to report. I cant believe after such a low result of 21 that it can continue and really now just want a conclusion to move on or be cautiously happy if you know what I mean?

Hi pumpkin-pie - welcome! This is a great place to chat all you like about treatment and I know what its like not wanting to tell too many people; about it. Good luck for your tx!!

Berry - oh hun, so glad to hear that all is well today, your right to go and have a check to put your mind at ease in these early stages       for not more scares until scan. What woz your Af pains like?  Quite low down and almost like a mini-contraction?!!  Sorry mind going haywire!! 

martakeithy - I had spots as well when I started taking DHEA right at the start of the cycle! Know how you feel   .  If its any help a friend of mine who works for one of the big beauty companies recommended a gentle massage with a buffer with their brand of cleansing soap twice a day and it really did work! Its the action that disperses excess oils apparently!!!

Peanuts - Hey, how are you doing, hun, ? Thanks for fingers etc crossed... mine now officially crossed for you!    Do you start with AF in August?  Sorry didn't catch up for that coffee, hope to soon,    take it easy and        and   for tx

Hi to everyone else and hope you doing OK  

Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash = thanks hun! Yeah the AF pains r low down and come and go, very sharp and i think they r thr sorest pains i have every had.... they woke me up during the night.... and thats not  like me... nothing wakes me up!!!  I'm so so worried its unbelievable... i always thought once i got a bfp that would be it... total bliss but the worry just continues. I'm so worried i'm gonna lose this and its really gonna devastate DH and I. Its all we have ever wanted and we just cant wait to start our family. I am soooo thankful to God for this! Glad u had a pamper day! sounds lovely!!! where abouts was the health club?? xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash, I'm glad to hear project 'taking your mind off things' is working. What a lovely friend taking you to her spa. Keep up the pampering, quite right! I'm going to Google for very slow HCG rises to see if there are any stories. 
I will try the scrub thing - the spots seem to have settled down a bit now particularly since I've stopped moisturising that area. Did you have any other side effects with DHEA, how much did you take?

Berry that sounds awful, you poor thing! It is probably just your body adjusting to the whole thing. It is a lot to go through - all the hormones and prodding and poking, no wonder you feel bad. It could be the  baby really burrowing in causing the discomfort, especially if it was a late implantation.  

Cazzaw I'm not surprised you are having a lot of things going on physically, with twins! I have read that bleeding is much more common with twins. Take care of yourself. Has the urine infection settled down?

Pumpkin that has been a long wait for you, I hope it all works first time.


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Evening all,

martakeithy - I am only having 1 bubba now as we lost twin at 10 weeks   very thankful remaning bubba wriggling around all ok.
C x


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Laptop playing up grrr dunno if its posted or not.........



Cazzaw said:


> Evening all,
> 
> martakeithy - I am only having 1 bubba now as we lost twin at 10 weeks  very thankful remaning bubba wriggling around all ok.
> C x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

I'm so sorry, I keep getting mixed up with the tickers. That is very hard for you. Please forgive me for being an insensitive twit!  

My laptop is going on the wonk as well, it keeps making a horrible noise when I start it up.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

morning all,

I think i have figured out why i'm getting these horrible pains. It is Major TMI so look away if u have a weak stomach! I have had a big of diarrhoea for the past few days but even though its diarrhoea i'm still constipated if that makes any sense!?   I know a lot more need to come out than it actually is but it just wont budge!!! so i think thats what these pains might be.... or maybe its not and i'm just looking way too into it lol    lol yes i will b like this for the next 3 weeks lol sorry!! xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry I had forgotten that. You get totally constipated when you are pg, I think it's the progesterone that slows down your digestive system. I used to force myself to drink about two glasses of fybogel a day - yuck! Are you drinking enough? 
At least you have an answer for the discomfort, but it's not the most glamorous answer.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta- i'm drinking loads, i think this will be why i'm feeling so bloated too! my tummy is talking for scotland today!!!


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

omg i had the worst baby blue day yesterday every 

  so me think i am going to slip into the corners and hide in the shadows for a little while


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi Scotlass,

did you try the (free) counceling at the clinic? Try talking to someone. This board might not be easy for you and that is understandable. But we have all been in those dark places.
Do what feels best, but try to find a way to 'let it out'. I know you feel horrible just now, but it would be more of a problem if you felt nothing. it is normal to be sad/disappointed/ angree/jealous etc. Though we do not like ourselves in those moments, they are part of this difficult journey.
Hope you will feel better in time.

Take care  


x CA


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi,
Just looking in to catch up, and, to be honest, take my mind off the scan tomorrow and to try and avoid washing out of the tumble drier, into the airing cupboard etc!! How lazy is that using a tumble drier when its like 25 degrees outside!!

scotlass- Hun, so sorry to hear about your baby blue day   when it hits you, its an awful day.  AnneS is right, the counselling service at the clinic is a worthwhile first step to letting out what you feel and working through some very difficult emotions. Take care  

berry - pamper day was good, just had a splash about in the pool, talked in the jacuzzi for ages then had a back and shoulders masage, club is Bannatyne's-used to be a member but gave up membership when I started this tx journey. Know what you mean about probs down there! Try dates and prunes-very high in fibre!  

martakeithy-I think it was the lowest dose of DHEA I could buy which was 25mg as I wasn't sure about its effect. No other side effects. How long til you start tx - is it this month?  


Preparing myself for scan tomorrow and if there is anything to be seen that will either make us very   or very   .  Don't really think it will surprise me..

 to everyone, 
Hxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Flash, hope everything goes ok for you tomorrow.  it must be such a stressful time just now for you not knowing what is going on. Take care xxx


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## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

Still lurking and reading but not posting any longer. Do think of you all though  Wanted to pop on and say...

*Berry*- so pleased for you  sending masses of    for a happy and healthy pregnancy

*Flash*- sorry to read of the rollercoaster that you've been on the past few weeks  I really hope that tomorrow brings good news for you   

Love
Maz x


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Hi

martakeithy  dont worry easy mistake to make......its diff to keep up lol.

Flash wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow    

C xx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Flash thinking about you tomorrow.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash- i will be thinking about u tomorrow xxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash - where are you? 25 degrees! I was out today in the park and there was a har over the whole place. Mind you, I still managed to burn my face due to being totally unprepared. Doh! The spots are going away now, but I am growing a beard. No not really.
Hope tomorrow goes well, best of luck and hope it all goes smoothly. 

Maz your DD is absolutely gorgeous.

Cazzaw thank you for being so nice. 

Berry, how's your tum?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta - Tum is just the same, i have been reading that if u take a muti vitamen with iron in it, it can make things worse... but i dunno what other vit to take, i looked on zita west and she has it too... so i will just have 2 suffer it i think. However i do think it might be a little bit better... i'll find out as the day goes on. 

Flash - Thinking of you, hope everything goes well. xxx  

Maz- Ur DD is so cute, u better watch i dont steel her!   xxx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

morning

Just checking in to see how you are all doing and say hi 

Feel v flat today and just cannot be bothered with work. Have arranged counselling for next week so hope that will help.

Flash and peanuts lovely to see you both yesterday for a good natter and a moan!!  

Flash - will check back later to find out how you got on. Hope you got some answers and aren't let feeling more confused. Thinking of you  

Hi newbies!!! Will post again when I am feeling more chirpy....my dh has said he misses my chirp and wants it to come back soon..... 

xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Mormimg,

Flash - thinking of you today.   and  

Berry - hope your tum gets better. I would not wory too much about the iron in your multi vit. Your preg. hormons are most likely to cause you any combination of tummy trouble. Try eating prunes (often and few and with water). Try not to gulp lots of water suddenly (bloating!). Try eating 5 times a day instead of three. Good luck!! With me it was also nerves that influenced my tumy. You are a panic pill like me and it will most likely get better the further you get -  . Try to look back at how far you have come already and try to enjoy that. Try not to look in to the future/the unknown so much. Hope that makes sense. More   for you.

Irishlady - good to hear that you had a good meet-up. Nothing like a natter with people who understand.  

Martakeithy -   

Cazzaw - how are you doing ? 

pumpkin-pie - how are you?

Twinkle - hello!

Computer i s playin gupp - sorry , better post this, hope I have not missed anyone!

CA


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Anne- thanks for the info. i will defo be doing some of that! 

Flash - how is everything? thinking about u xxx

Irish - I hope the counselling helps. Thinking about u lots xxxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Sorry to say that the news today wasn't good and to be honest a bit scary   .

Blood taken for HCG level and Dr Raja did the scan at 9.30.  He confirmed that he couldn't see any evidence of a pregnancy, but he thought he did see some fluid outside the womb which concerned him so an ultrasound scan was arranged for just after 1pm.  DH came up for that (thank goodness) and the Ultrasound showed 2 blobs in the womb (unknown) and not much else.  Went straight back to see Dr R and got the news that HCG level is still rising and is now over 1000. 
So to cut a long story short - they are now saying that we are looking at it either being an ectopic pregnancy or a "pregnancy in an unknown location".  As I'm well (at the moment) all they can do is keep an eye on it, review in 48 hours and wait and see. 

Been feeling awful this afternoon and finding it difficult to take in and to have a plan of what to do over the next few days.... with work, telling people etc.  

Sorry no hellos tonight, thanks and   to you for your thoughts.

Hxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello all....  

Flash - I am so sorry to hear that the news was not great for you.  Not having any clear answers must be so upsetting and frustrating...   

Berry - hope you are feeling a bit better...

Just a quick update from me.  We had our app today and I have to call with my next period which is due on Friday!!  Will have my drug app and scan and ET rehearsal next week, probably Monday or Tuesday and will either start on the pill then or the jabs a couple of weeks later to down reg..  I cannot believe it is all happening so quickly!

DH's SA was improved so much so that they might go with IVF rather than ICSI.  All those vit pills and the caffeine ban has obviously helped..  They will see how he performs on the day..

We have our holiday on 20th July, but they said I could probably start jabbing when I am away if I felt comfortable with it.

So excited to be getting started, but aware it is a long road ahead..

Hello to everyone else... 

xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Flash - So sorry to hear it didnt go well today.  Can't imagine what you are going through must be so worrying not knowing and having to wait another 48 hours for more information.  Hope they can get everything sorted and put your mind at rest.  Take care.

JSparrow - Thats fantastic that you can get started so soon.  I am going to be starting in September and cant wait have been calculating when AF is going to come.  If I am a few days late in this cycle then might be able to begin at the beginning of September so fingers crossed just want to get going as soon as.  Will look forward to reading your posts and finding out what to expect from the treatment.

Irishlady - Hope the counselling helps.  They talked to us about it at our appointment on Monday.  Its certainly something I will consider if things dont work out the way we hope.  I am sure they are really good at listening and helping you sort out how you are feeling.  THis whole process is just so stressful and we havent even started yet!

Berry- hope you are feeling ok and not worrying too much and enjoying being pregnant!  Although I think I would be the same and worrying so much!

AnneS - Hi, thanks I am well.  How are you doing?

Martakeithy - Hi, I cant quite remember where you are in the treatment process, I am still trying to remember everyones names! So I do apologise but hope you are well.

Cazzaw - Hope all is well with you and congrats on your little bubba.  How are you feeling, do you have many symptoms yet.

Hi to everyone else i have missed out, still trying to get to know everyone and whats going on but this is such a lovely site and I know is going to be a big help and support to me when we get going in September.


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi Flash

So sorry to hear it wasn't good news   .  Hoping you and DH are doing ok, this must be so agonising for you both.  Hopiong the nesxt 48hours bring soem better news      Always here for a moan, hugs, chat, coffe, etc..  

Dx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Hi Flash

So sorry to read your post and hear you had to go back a second time tomorrow. Must be horrendous for you and dh. Hope you are managing to take some time off work and trying to find ways to relax. 

Hope your next appt brings some better news   

xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi there,

Flash - so sorry to hear that your difficult time continues. Will be thinking of you and your DH and hope this gets resolved somehow so that you both can move on. Be good to yourself and try nto to think too much about other people - it is you and DH first, everyone else can wait.
Sending you masses of      .

Caroline Anne


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash- I'm so sorry to hear that ur scan didnt bring nay gd news   I'm thinking of u and DH and hope that ur nxt scan will have better results. 

Berry xxx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Flash really sorry your having to go through all this   I hope they can get to the bottom of it soon. xx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Flash - hope you are doing ok....       I hope you get some answers soon...  xx

I am back to the RIE tomorrow for my pre treatment appointment as AF turned up today...  Payment made as well so all systems go for round 1...

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Flash, just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking of you and hope everything works out ok tomorrow.  I'v ebeen lurking about and following your news but not really feeling up to posting.

Take care everyone

V


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Flash   hope today brings some good news for you


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone, hope you are all well and not too sunburnt from yesterday. Apparently it was 29 degrees at Turnhouse yesterday. And still my MIL refused to wear suncream. 

Flash I am sorry to hear about the possible ectopic. It all sounds very vague, it must be driving you mad. Good luck today, I hope things are a bit clearer.  

Sparrow, have you paid everything upfront. I can't remember what the nurse said to me, but I thought she mentioned making two payments?? Hope it all went well today. I can't wait to hear what happens next for you, very exciting. Great news about your DH's swimmers too.  How much caffeine was he drinking?

Pumpkin I am waiting for AF, probably the 8th and then contacting the ERI about starting down-regging. I'm not sure when we will start, but probably on day 21 of the new cycle.

AnneS hi there. Hope you are back in full health now. How are you enjoying the hot weather, is it hard?

Irish, that's good news about the counselling. I hope it helps to resolve things. Are you slowly feeling a bit better?

Berry, how is your tum? They must be wondering why the phone isn't ringing at ERI.  Hope you are well.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hey Marta,

I'm ok thanks. Glad to hear u have been out and about in the lovely weather!!! I know the RI will be going.... oh i wonder if she is ok? lol I actually phoned clearblue (the preg test ppl) 2day as i have been doing the digital tests and had a little prob. On sunday i did one which came up 1-2 weeks after conception, so i thought fair enough.Then on Wednesday i did 1 and b4 the conception indicator came up it flashed a couple of times 3+ so i thought, WOW its gonna say that!! and then the end result was 2-3 weeks after conception, so again i thought fair enough. At least its going up so i was all happy. So this morning i did another test   it was from a new box and b4 the indicator came up it was flashing 3+ for a long time. Then 2-3 weeks came bk up, so i was searching the net to find out what this could mean!!?   DH thought maybe it was cos my HCG was almost at 3+ it was trying to pick up that but it was not quite there. He was right, lol. So i'm happy that i know my HCG is rising well..... well that was a long story wasn't lol. Still getting a bit of pain... but not as bad, as i have been eating a lot of fiber  xxxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Flash - hope you are ok - thinking about you and hoping you get some answers..

Berry - step away from the tests!  Although I know I would be exactly the same..

Marta - we paid up front for IVF and if we have to use ICSI on the day, then we will pay the additional amount at the time.  DH was drinking about 2-3 cans of diet coke a day so I have cut that out!

We got on good today - baseline scan went well and Dr Raja did the mock transfer and I did not feel a thing.  We start on Buserelin on 23 July.  I will be in Mexico so will have to figure out when to do the jabs as they recommended morning time.  Has anyone else had this time zone problem or done the jabs at night/different times of the day?

So I have my wee purple bag and ready to jab myself - just have to wait a couple of weeks, but it will go in quickly..

xx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi,
Thanks for ur messages, don't know what i would be doing right now if you guys weren't out there to reply to   .

So...HCG level is still rising, scan still not showing anything conclusive... although Dr Kini did see a small sac in the womb-too darn small and not defined for a 6 weeks pregnancy though.
Conclusion still is that it could be an ectopic prg. Vented a bit of frustration at him asking what is their experience of this etc etc - then funnily enough, he said that Dr Thong is back from holiday on Monday next week and he would make a decision as to what happens next!  For the first time I suddenly wondered if they're unsure of things and need to wait for Dr Thong to make a decision Probably is the case.
Then, for further    when I phoned back later, the nurse said that HCG level had risen again, as it would with a normal prg, and that they do have experiences of very slow developing normal pregnancies!! That was kind of upsetting - Kind of wish she hadn't told me that!
So another weekend of waiting and wondering.

berry - glad YOUR HCG is still rising and the fibre is doing its stuff  . Just remember that that little pain will be soooo worth it in the end   have you got anything nice planned until the 17th?

martakeithy - thanks!!, yes vague is a good word, I should have used that this morning!     for down-reg not long to go!

vonnie - hi sorry to hear ur not feeling like chatting, its hard to know what to do/say sometimes  .  Take care of yourself, if you fancy a chat  

Jsparrow-         for ur tx. Sorry lost track...what protocol are you on?  hope you can take it easy for your tx.

irishlady - hope you are doing OK, and have a good expereince with the counsellor   and hopefully find a litle chirp, take care

Hi and hugs to everyone else, catch you over the weekend,

Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Jsparrow - I was also in Mexico when i started to d/r for  my FET in March. I used to do my injections at 9am Mexico time and that would b 3pm Britain time. Make sure u get a letter from the clinic about travelling with the injections and the drugs as its not safe to put them into the suitcase in case of temp differences. Have a great time! it really helps D/R to pass by quick when ur on holiday  

Flash- I'm so sorry that ur scan has not brought any great news and ur still waiting. Dr Thong   he is always on holiday!!! ALWAYS!!!! if u dont mind me asking what was ur blood level at today? I really hope that this allow works out for you, u really deserve it! xxxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Flash, you are being so brave...  This must be so worrying and frustrating for you both...  I am on the long protocol - three weeks to go xxx

Berry - thanks for the idea about timings. Only problem with a 3pm jab is I would be at work which is not ideal.  Do you think it matters if I take the jab at night?

xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

JSparrow- i have no idea, prob best to ask at clinic. I've heard a lot of ppl on this site d/r at night. xx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Hiya

Sparrow better check with the ERI Im sure they like you to do jab morning time here so you might be better doing night time there.

Oh Flash this must be so frustrating and upsetting for you. Sending you lots of     I hope they get to the bottom of it soon.

Berry stop doing the pee sticks!!   You are just giving your self something else to worry about 

Martakeithy not long till you get started, hope your AF turns up when it should or earlier.

Sorry have to dash. Hope everyone else is well.

xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash, you are having a rough time. I hope this is all concluded soon for you, one way or the other.  

Sparrow it all seems so long ago for me, there was only a one hour time difference for us when we went to have treatment, but I didn't take my jabs at any set time, just morning, which could be anything from 10 am to lunchtime, and evening, which was often early evening and sometimes late evening, but they worked just as they should have. I remember a woman on another forum was really stressed about not injecting at an exact time and told the nurse at the IVF clinic - the nurse didn't bat an eyelid and just told her to do it when she could. 

Berry, so you were in Mexico too. What a cosmopolitan bunch you all are.   I'm going to come round there and take those tests away!  

Jane thank you, it really isn't long now, I must get organised. Panic panic!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

where is everyone


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

I was wondering the same, slipped onto the 2nd page lol.

Flash have you been back to the clinic today? Hope Dr Thong was able to find out whats happening.   

Berry hope you are behaving and not using those pee sticks anymore  

JSparrow you are so lucky having holiday during tx, hope it makes the symptoms better.

Martakeithy Im sure you have to pay everything before they will start your tx. I just paid mine all at once. When I phoned with AF nurse went and checked I'd paid before giving me appointment for scan/dummy transfer and collecting drugs.

Hello to everyone else.

I am so fed up with this rain


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Jane- i did use my last pee stick 2day... and again it said 2-3 weeks, it really upset me again!!! but i have been reading that it is very common to have this result at the stage i am at.   but still does not make me feel any better!   I have been getting a little bit of yellowish/white discharge, i looked up on ur posts and seen this happened 2 u, was it normal?? sorry for tmi lol xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello, hope everyone is well.  Was wondering if anyone here had acupuncture before/during treatment and if so where you went.  Have looked online and found a few places in Edinburgh that do it and I have read that it does improve the chances of success so quite keen to have it when i start IVF. Would like to go somewhere where they have experience of using it with IVF and not just see a general acupuncturist.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi pumpkin,

I used Napiers at Hamilton place in Edinburgh on my 1st 2 tx, unfortunately the treatments were not successful. I didn't do it on this cycle and it was successful. To be honest i found getting there from where i live a bit stressful and there was also other issues (not related to the actual acupuncture) which stressed me out. So i think thats why it never worked for me. Both the girls who do the acupuncture are lovely, Rachel Forest and Fiona Wolfhok (i cant remember her surname) 

Hope this helps 

xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Thanks Berry, that was one of the places I looked at, its not really very near me but is on a direct bus route so wouldnt be too much hassle to get there.  I might give it a go for the first cycle and see how it goes, it might not make a huge difference but might make me feel a bit more relaxed, think I might need that!  How are you doing?  Is it finally sinking in that you are pregnant?  How long until your scan?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Its not sinking in at all!! I'm more paranoid than ever before, i'm always knicker checking!! lol   I'm feeling ok, today been getting a few sharp pains here and there, but nothing to bad. My scan is the 17th.... still feels like ages  away, but its not really to far away. How about u? how r u doing? xxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

I can only imagine how stressful it must be.  i think before you get pregnant you think if only I get pregnant then I will be so happy but I guess when you do you are still worrying about things going wrong, am sure I will be just the same!  I am fine just want the next two months to go by so i can get started.  Have to phone them when my september period comes.  This cycle was three days late and if I am late again next month then my September period will come right at the beginning of Sept, if not will be late on in Sept.  I know it doesnt make any difference having waited for over 2 years to get to top of the list but just want to get going as soon as.  I have another appointment with the nurses later this month, DH has to do a sperm test, not sure what they are doing with me, forgot to ask!  Hope the time goes quickly for you until the 17th.  I have a weeks holiday in August so at least that will help time to go by a little quicker and will be busy at work with everyone off on holidays so hopefully Sept will be here before I know it.


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Haven't posted for ages, haven't felt much like it since failed IVF in May, but been reading how you are all getting on and just wanted to say:

Berry - congrats on your  

Polly30 & PumpkinPie - we might be around at the same time for our cycle.  I've to phone in when period starts at end of Sept to start 2nd attempt at ICSI.  It will be nice to have some buddies from RIE.

Jane- hope your pregancy is going well

Flash - thinking of you and hoping you get to the bottom of things soon, I can only imagine how frustrating it all must be.

Peanuts - hope you are doing OK

To all those with   I know what you are going through, but remain positive, it'll work next time!

Hope everyone else is doing all right.

I am now beginning to get over failed 1st cycle.  I left my horrible job and started a new one which I'm enjoying much more, still doing the dog walking in the mornings but just the 3 dogs + my own.  Also still working p/t at WGH but feeling I'm getting to grips with work commitments now and not so stressed so should be in a better frame of mind when I start cycle 2 in Oct.

Booked a holiday 13-23rd September in Croatia to have something to look forward to and then treatment hopefully starting when I get back.

Considering going for counselling before starting 2nd cycle but unsure it will help as feel emotionally OK now, just want to discuss options for 2nd cycle, see if anything different can be done to improve chances, whether acupuncture could help etc.  Did anyone else find the counselling helpful?

Lisa


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi,
Just a quick hello from me.  

Really upsetting day so bit drained now.  The scan showed things a bit more clearly today.  Dr R could see, and indeed he showed me, 2 sacs in the womb that as he said - do not unfortunately contain anything.  Small relief that this at least rules out the likelihood of an ectopic pregnancy as they are where they should be.  The plan is to go back on Friday, just for further monitoring and then to make a decision about what to do from there.  I think I will make that decision if I feel they are dithering.

I think I'm on the road to starting to accept that this is nearly over which one minute feels OK and literally the next minute just feels like - well you can imagine.
The nurse who was taking blood was chatting and asked if i was going to work today etc...then suddenly, completely out of nowhere, I just burst into tears. I've been in a bit of a daze over the weekend I suppose.  Had a bit more chat with her then headed home and phoned into work etc. 

Will probably be quiet for the rest of the week but will lurk around of course.   to all.

Hx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash, I'm so sorry that you have had to go through this. It must be so sad for you, but I hope it is a relief to know what's going on.
Take it easy.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash- hunny i'm so sorry!    xxxxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

flash so sorry for what u going thro    
take care xxxx


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## Jambo (Nov 6, 2004)

Pumpkin Pie

I used Lena Fong (at Mulberry House, West End) who I really liked.  I also went to her colleague when lena was off for a while.  I went to Napiers and I honestly felt I had read more journal articles about acupuncture and fertility than she had so wasn't impressed.  (only my opinion mind).  

Good luck with whatever you decide.  

Jayne


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Jambo, I agree about Napiers xx


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## mimou (Mar 24, 2007)

Flash - just wanted to say I am thinking of you and dh and am very sorry to hear what you are going through. It must be agonising to have so much uncertainty and having things dragged out not knowing what is going on. As others have said, you are being very brave.
So glad it is not ectopic.
sending you much love and big     
look after yourself and your dh
take care,
mimou x x


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Thanks Jambo, thats interesting to know as on their website they suggest that they are experts in fertility.  Will maybe do a bit more research and look at the Mulberry House one too, thanks for your advice always good to hear peoples opinions that have been there as websites can look good but not tell you what its like.
Flash, so sorry to hear your news, take care xx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Flash - so sorry to hear your news , very similar to when I went for my first scan and found 2 empty sacs.  Sending you and DH the biggest hugs    .  Hoping that you're feeling strong enough to make that decision when the time comes.  You've been through so much in the past few weeks, I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you'll deal with it and move on, but it'll aways leave a wee ache in your heart   .  I'm off on hols on Thursday, back on the 20th, so happy to meet up for coffee or wine if you feel like it  

Owenl - good to see you posting again, I've been having some time out too.  I thought I was dealing with things ok after my first failed cycle, but on the run up to 2nd cycle I kind of fell apart again.  So used the counselling service and it really helped.  Although took about 3 sessions to actually feel the real benefit.  Do whatever is comfortable to you, but might be worth a shot  .  Glad you're more settled at work,a nd have a holiday booked before next txt, just think how relaxed you'll be!  Where are you based - I'm in Bonnyrigg and might be in need of a dog walker from time to time!

Pumkin-pie - good luck with the acupuncture.  Its really a personal thing - I hate needles, so the thought of it freaked me out more than I might have benefited!   Next time you're at ERI explain about the timing of your cycles, they might be able to start you with your Aug period if its late in the month - don't want to get your hopes up, will depend on how busy they are, but usually quite good at fitting people in.  

Berry - step away from the pee sticks   , you'll just send yourself even more insane.  Good luck for the 17th, I'll be away, but hopefully find somewhere to log on to check out your news.

Big hugs to Mimou, Jambo, martakeithy, Polly, Jane, JSparrow, and anyone else I've missed.  Hopefully catch up with you all when I get back from my hols.  

Dxx


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

hello girls
sorry i haven't been on in a wee while, but I have been 'lurking' and keeping up with all your news. I think after getting that low AMH result recently (3 when they wanted 5) I just felt a bit low and found it hard to gather up the old PMA.. .but I am feeling more positive and trying to stay focused on TX starting in September.

Flash - my heart goes out to you. Thinking of you at this horribly difficult time. I can't even begin to imagine. But I wish you all the strength you need to get through the coming weeks and months.  xx

Pumpkin Pie and Owen1 - if I am reading the posts right I think we are all due to tel the ERI with our September period! It's nice to have other ladies in the same boat to chat to . HOw are you both feeling about it all? I am excited but really nervous and my emotions around it all seem to fluctuate from one day to the next. I am keen to get started, but, equally, terrified in case it doesn't work. I also have a wee concern that maybe sounds really trivial in comparison to all the potential trauma associated with treatment...I find the internal scans with that 'wand' thing quite painful...and that speculum, ouch! Is it just me or does it feel (TMI coming up) MASSIVE?! Maybe I just need to try and relax a bit more when they are doing it, but I do find it sore.... 

Berry - again, huge congrats on your happy news.  I hope as the weeks and months progress the worry eases a wee bit and you can really enjoy it all - i can imagine I would be the same though - when you have wanted something so much. You so deserve it though!  

Well ladies, * waves to everyone* apologies again for not being a very good poster, but I hope to post more now that I am feeling more upbeat.  xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Polly30, it will be great to have someone else going through the treatment at the same time, we will need to keep each other sane!  I am feeling much the same as you a mixture of excitement and nerves.  Waited for so long to start I cant really believe it.  I have to say at the moment I am feeling really positive, not sure that will stay once I start treatment.  I'm a bit nervous about the scan things too, never very good at relaxing during these kind of things, glad to know I'm not the only one.  Keep up the PMA   and roll on September! Not long to go now!!!


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Morning, sorry have been awol for a while...

Dh and I have decided to have a great summer and then focus on things after that. Went camping to St Andrew's at the w/e which was amazing, with brilliant sunshine, then we are off to T in the Park on Sat, am soooo excited!!!

We have our first counselling session this afternoon...though a bit ironic as today would have been 7 week scan so feel a bit sick about going back to the clinic...think there will be a few tears     but hopefully it will help us deal with things a bit better, as I feel that we have brushed things under the carpet and haven't really talked things through.

Enough about me  

Flash, so sorry to read your posts, big hugs to you and dh     It must be such a difficult time for you both. Have you seen Dr T yet? 

Owenl, hi   lovely to hear from you. I tried acupuncture but I didn't find it v relaxing, which seemed to go against what it was supposed to do!! Had reflexology instead which relaxed but didn't give me a positive result. Will let you know how counselling goes later. Hope you have a lovely time in Croatia, somewhere I have always wanted to go.

Peanuts, have a lovely hol, hope the sun shines and you have lots of relaxation. What's happening to Murphy??  

Polly & Pumpkin you will get used to the internal scans!!   Hope you are feeling ok about starting tx, we are here if you want to ask any questions.

Berry, how are you doing?  Hope you haven't done anymore pee sticks    !!

Hi to Martakeithy, Michelle, Jambo, Mimou, Jane and anyone I have missed    

Must get on and do some work...!!  

xx


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## vonnie15 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hi Girls,

Still here, just been floating in and out of things.  Flash just wanted to let you know that I've been thinking of you and hope you are doing ok, I can only imagine what you've been going through these last few weeks   to you and your DH.

I'm doing ok, tbh I'm glad I've stopped tx at the eri, nothing against the nurses but I just couldn't go through with it another time and not try something new.  Was at the gcrm so we'll see what happens there, start next month but a bit apprehensive as I've not been particularly good at the healthy eating and not drinking (guess a couple of small glasses of wine every 2nd weekend isn't going to hurt?)

If you fancy meeting up drop me a pm or tx, we're back at our house now so happy to chat.

Take care everyone

Vonnie


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

hello ladies,
i am still getting the hang of this, so hopfully I am 'replying' properly! 
Pumpkin - thanks for the reassurance - it i so hard to 'relax' with a wand in ones lady bits eh!! I laughed because the last time I had a scan done the nurse leaned over me, wand in one hand and proclaimed: "Are you alergic to fruit or rubber?" It still makes me laugh to this day.    I guess she was referring to the lubricant they use which must have fruit extract in it or some such, but all I could think to say is "er, well, I have never had a piece of fruit up there, so I'm not sure..!!" eeeek! Glad to hear you're feeling so positive - that can only be a good thing! Did they do your AMH levels? It seems they don't do it with everyone...strange.

Irishlady - thanks for the hello!   It sounds like you are really pulling together and geared up for a good summer - good for you! Enjoy TITP - bet it's great fun! And thanks also for the reassurance about the scans - you're right, I am sure I'll get used to them. I am just going to lie back and think of my double buggie. PMA all the way lol!

Hello to everyone xxx


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## owenl (Mar 29, 2009)

Flash - sorry to hear your news.  Sending you loads of  .  Try and take some time out for you and DH 

Peanuts - good to hear from you too.  I live in Corstorphine and unfortunately only cover the local area for dog walking due to having other p/t jobs round this.  You should try looking on gumtree, there are usually loads of dog walkers advertising on there and sometimes slightly cheaper rates than what they are quoting elsewhere.

Polly 30 & Pumpkin Pie - it will be good to have some company on my next cycle.  I wouldn't worry too much about the scans, you do get used to them, the only time I found them particularly uncomfortable was when follicles were growing, but I just stare at the ceiling and try to think of somewhere nice

Irishlady - nice to hear from you too.  Let me know how the counselling goes.  I've been finding I've coped OK with my dissapointing first cycle but I have felt it was mostly bad timing due to my job situation.  I think I might try the counselling before next treatment but I know DH won't be up for it so it would just be me.  It's good that you have things to look forward to before you start thinking about tx again, it's amazing what a few weekends away does for the soul.  I am so jealous that you have tickets for TinthePark, I would love to go but finances don't allow it due to saving up for Croatia.

Hello to everyone else, I'm at evening job just now so had better go, catching up with emails inbetween calls.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone
haven't had much time to get on the past couple of days and of course, there have been loads of posts. Which is great to see! 

Flash I hope you are OK. I hope you are still finding ways to relax and take your mind off of this stressful time. You can cope, it's just so hard. 

Berry, I hope you haven't bought any more pee sticks!! 

Owen it's lovely to hear from you and you sound very positive. It must be great to be out of that horrible job. How is the dog-walking going?

Irish I hope the counselling went OK. It must be quite emotional to go though. I will probably have to go on my own, but I would prefer DP to come, just a bit awkward. What was camping like? Did you get any sleep or were cows looking into your tent?  We would love to go, but I'm such a wuss and I'm worried about having a bad back sleeping on a mat thingy? What did you use?

Polly that must have been a bit weird the 'fruit of rubber' thing. Did you have a quick look down to make sure she wasn't holding a banana with a the latex thingy on? I think it depends on who is doing the scan, some people act like they are painting the ceiling or something, whereas some are all gentle and apologetic.

Vonnie good luck in Glasgow. How have you found them so far?

Pumpkin I'm am trying to be positive this time after being like Oscar the grouch last time. I am actually repeating affirmations in my head about carrying healthy babies and welcoming them into my family and that kind of thing. All new for me, but whatever happens at least I will be feeling a lot happier in the run up to treatment.

Peanuts have a great holiday!

Jambo hi there. Is the Mulberry house acupuncturist at the Edinburgh Fertility Centre? I have seen them on the internet.

Hi to Mimou and Michelle.

Well I am just sitting around waiting for AF so that I can contact ERI. I have PMS coming out of my ears. I got lost driving yesterday and was almost in tears - pull yourself together woman! Should be today, but no sign as yet. It's all going to kick off after this, and I dont' feel very organised. Oh well!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi everyone,

well i have bought more pee sticks   i think i'll do 1 tomorrow morning, i just really want it to say 3+ so i can feel a bit more relaxed, if it doesn't i'm gonna be worrying a lot. DH wants me 2 do the test 2morrow cos he is also very curious.  I'm feeling really tired most of the time, but i dont know if its all in the head!   i feel like everything i feel may be all wishful thinking!?! i dunno. 

Hope everyone is well. 

Marta- hope AF shows face very soon for you.

xxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

hi everyone,

did another test this morning and AGAIN it said 2-3 weeks!!!!!!! i'm getting so so so upset about this now as i am 6 weeks today!!! i dont understand why my hcg level is not going up!!! I know something is wrong, should i phone clinic?? 

berryx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Everyone, hope you are all well
Berry - I'm sure everything is fine, you should probably stop peeing on those sticks its making you more worried rather than reassured! Not long till the scan now.  The shop assistants must laugh when they see you coming back again to buy more! 

Martakeithy - thats great not long to go.  I'm sure a postive attitude helps lots so keep those affirmations going! 

Owenl and Polly30 - its great we will be having treatment about the same time.  I just want September to get here so can get started.  Polly you made me laugh about your story about the scans!! I bet it made the nurse laugh too! 

Irishlady - hope the counselling session went well, it might take a few before you feel it begins to help, its good that they are specialised in this area and arent just a general counsellor.

Hi to everyone else, better go and get ready for work!


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hey all

quick post as me and dp are going to tenerife in the morning    

berry im sure everything is ok hope your scan goes will    

well better go and get packing  why is it a hassle going on holiday 

take care everyone and i hope we all get what we want

lots of love michelle xxxxxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

i phoned clinic this morning. They told me not to worry unless i am bleeding or in severe pain which i'm not. The nurse actually just laughed when i told her what i was worrying about!  They wouldn't give me a early Scan as they said they dont do that or that the do not repeat blood tests unless it is needed.... oh well.  I also asked about the discharge i have been getting and she said thats normal and all 2 do with hormonal changes  

I did feel really dizzy this morning, hope thats a good sign. (.)(.) r still a bit tender, but dont seam as sore and still got the veins.... however the more i look at them the more i think they r disappearing until DH tells me i'm going crazy.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
I'm just popping on in the middle of watching Torchwood - ooo it's exciting.

Got AF today, so phoned up and have an appointment for Tuesday. So it's looking like a day 21 or 23 start. The nurse said they liked to get started 5 days before the end of the cycle. Is that what you guys did?
I mentioned taking in the details of my last treatment for the doctor and she sounded quite negative, which was not very encouraging. I hope the doctor is a bit more positive, would hate to think that all that time spent on the first cycle was completely ignored. Grrr!

Can you guys tell me how long after down-regging you waited to start stimming, and how long you stimmed for before EC? I'm trying to calculate when EC and TX will be? Thank you! 

Thank you for your encouragement Pumpkin.  

Berry it must be killing you all this, you poor thing. I hope the next stick goes up and you can relax a bit (but I doubt you will ).  

Michelle have a great time in Tenerife!


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## Shellsbells (Apr 13, 2009)

Hi Ladies,

Hope you're all well. All I can say is that only a week after joining FF, I got a natural  !!! Completely stunned! Have a horrible wait until mid-August for my first scan but am 7 weeks today and chuffed to bits! I am going to stop reading these boards for a bit though as you pick up so many things about what symptoms you should and shouldn't be having and I don't think I can cope with a month of going slighly looney   

take care everyone and I will keep you updated! xxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

shellsbells -   Really happy for you!!! take care! xxx


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## Shellsbells (Apr 13, 2009)

Thanks Berry!! I've been following you over on the trimester board!!   to you too!! very exciting! Although you must calm down with these tests!   

I can't believe how long a wait it is unil my scan! Hopefully, your 7 week one will be able to put your mind at rest. In the meantime, I will be going cuckoo!! lol

M xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Congratulations Shellsbells, that's great news. 

I have met a few women who get pg when they stop TTC and go for IVF, then BFP!


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## Shellsbells (Apr 13, 2009)

Thanks martakeithy! Last month was definitely the first month we just didn't think about trying to conceive at all! We went out lots, drank lots etc etc All the things I had banned!! It just shows....

M x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi there,

Shellsbells - wonderful news - CONGRATULATIONS - but the wait for teh 7 week scan is long  . Good luck with that and good idea not too read too much around. As I said before, although pregnant with twins, I had no symptoms, not even boobs until after my 7 week scan, so try not to worry!   and lots of    

Berry - Step away form the pee sticks lady, I will send the   round! Good on you though to phone the clinic. It is always good to hear their advice. Don't worry about your boobs. I still have weeks, where they 'deflate' and it must be fluctuation in hormone levels. So good that you have no bleeds or pains. Though don't panic when you get the odd pull or ache. Your ligaments etc. start stretching now. Not so long now until your 7 week.  

Martakeithy - not sure why the nurse waas so negative abotu bringing yoru notes. I would definitely take them. I am sure the doctor will be interested and it gives you a basis for you questions also - ask them lots of questions. You shoudl be well informed abotu your treatment. And because you will be a bit worried and stressed, you will forget things and will have ot aks again. Just remeber they are (or should be!!!)  used to that. Good luck with it all  

Michelle - ooooh, teneriffe - lovely! Have a great time.  

Vonnie - hi there. Best of luck with Glasgow. Keep in touch!    

Polly30 - your allergy story made me laugh out loud. But I agree, that there are big differences in how the doctors carry out these examinations. Some of them you want to slap  . 

Irishlady - good to hear that you are making plans for the summer. You have to be good to yourself and DH and the best thing is to spoil yourselves. Hope you enjoy every minute.  


Hi to everyone else - Flash, Peanuts, Pumkin, Jambo, Jane and Owenl - hope I have not forgoten anyone.

Take care

CA


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi

I don't even know where to begin with this post!!!!  Scan this morning still showing 2 little (growing) sacs and Dr's words were "Don't want to get your hopes up BUT its not all doom and gloom either".  Angry...confused...fed-up...
Def angry as the communication on Monday was we can see 2 sacs but they are empty. Communication today is that the sacs are growing (tho little small for 7 weeks) and we're not sure if there is a foetal pool inside them or not as its too early to see.  Return next Friday for another look.... A whole week away of MORE waiting and wondering and thinking that it doesn't look good for a viable prg BUT we're still not 100% sure. Now.... I thought that at 7 weeks they should be seeing "something" on a scan, is that right On and off cramping pains not helping either  .  
DH and I talked and think that will phone the unit on Monday to ask to be seen earlier than Friday (Wednesday would be 8 weeks) as I'm getting more   and grumpy by the day with this!

shellsbells - Congratulations on your good news, feet up now til 7 week scan. Take care of yourself.

martakeithy - good news that you have a start date, its a relief isn't it. Down-reg, in my case was 4-5 weeks and stimms for up to 3 weeks but hey I'm a slow coach so don't take it as gospel!     for a BFP.

pumpkin-pie - glad you've got a start date and that your PMA is flowing   keep it up, have you got nice things planned before Sept?  

polly30 -             for you!!  , thanks for the laugh about fruit!

irishlady - glad to hear counselling was beneficial.  I know what you mean about sweeping things under the carpet and being forced to think and horror of horrors talk about them   ..good that you've got a plan for a good summer and do nice things together.   to you and DH.

 to everyone else - AnneS, Peanuts, Berry, Vonnie, michelle, owenl and everyone else I've missed.

love
Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash- this must be so hard for you! its like you keep getting given a bit of hope then it gets taken away and then a bit of hope again.   I'm really surprised at RI they should b dealing with this a lot better, its ridiculous! I'm so sorry for your pain!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello to everyone 

Oh Flash I am so sorry to hear that you still dont know one way or the other, that makes it so difficult to know how to feel, they surely must be able to tell you what it going on soon.  You must be exhausted with all the stress.  I hope everything goes ok on the next scan.  I have got a holiday planned in August, off work for two weeks but only away for the one week, going to Dumfries and Galloway in a house by the sea so should be nice and relaxing and hoping for some nice weather.  Will help past the time until the treatment starts.

ShellsBells - Congratulations, what fantastic news, hope the time flies by until your scan.

Off out tonight for dinner, its our wedding anniversary.  Enjoy the sunshine and I hope everyone has a good weekend. xxx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Oh Flash how frustrating and upsetting for you. At my 7 week scan they saw the beginnings of  fetal pole and although its too small to see detail of anything else you can see the flicker of heart beat. But it is all very tiny so I can see why its difficult for them to tell. I would definitely phone to see if they can see you at 8 weeks.

Berry step away from the pee sticks    Everyones HCG starts and rises at different rates so these pee sticks cant be that accurate.

Shellbells thats wonderful   

Martakeithy thats great to get started. Hope it all goes well at your scan.

Irishlady hope you find the counselling useful. If its the same lady I saw she really helped me, I think I her name was Margarete (sp?)

Owenl glad things are going well with work. Definitely helps if you are not getting stressed about that.

 for everyone I've missed. I must dash, DH is off bowling (ten pin) this avo which = drinking so I am dragging him round Ikea as punishment this morning


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Flash that is so frustrating for you. I know it's very annoying not to know either way, I remember that feeling. It is a long shot, but you never know, they could just be slow developers. I hope they can see you sooner, any information must be helpful at this point. 

Jane how was IKEA? I noticed the roads weren't so busy today, people must be away on holiday, or at IKEA? I meant to say last time I posted that I made an appointment to see the counsellor, but not for a couple of weeks, her name is Rebecca.

Pumpkin, did you enjoy your meal? Was it posh?

Berry, how are you? I have been patrolling Boots and Superdrug, to make sure you don't go in for more tests!  

Anne thank you for the advice. I'm going to try to be calm and collected. This is our second and final self-funded IVF, so if I'm not happy I would be very loathe to spend the money. Hopefully, it will be fine on Tuesday.

Shells that's funny about the drinking and general silliness, good for you! 

Not much to report here, still trying to be as positive as possible. I'm thinking about upping my DHEA for the next few weeks, then I really will grow a beard.


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello All. Had a fairly busy weekend doing some gardening, tried doing some more today but then got soaked so gave up and came inside, had a bath and now the sun is shining - typical.  Also went and did a little bit of shopping and popped into Boots to get myself some vitamins to start taking, have been taking Folic Acid forever but thought I would get some pregnacare vitamins, want to get myself in tip top condition!

Martakeithy - My meal was lovely, went to a little seafood restaurant, had a lovely meal and finished off nicely with some gorgeous chocolate torte - yum yum!!  
Jane - hope you had a good shop in IKEA.  DH hates going round there, only goes if he really has to.  Congratulations on your pregnancy, was interested to read your post as my DH also had a kidney transplant. Nice to know that someone has been successful after this.  
Berry - hope you are managing to stay away from those tests.
Flash - hope you are hanging in there and finding something to help occupy the time until you go back again.  

Can anyone tell me exactly how the treatment dates work, will ask next time but just wondered just now.  I know I phone when my Sept period starts but when does the actual injections start and when would the embryo transfer happen?

Hello to everyone else xxx


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

have the dietision on wednesday still no weight off 

  dont know what to do now have tried everything 

  even got a pup to walk all day every day to see if that helps


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Scotlass - good luck at the dietision. xxx

Flash- i hope ur ok, been thinking about u lots. xxx

Hi everyone,

I've been very quite over the past few days! dunno if thats gd or bad?! Well, still no bleeding... not much pains.. maybe the odd mild crampy feeling. Getting a lot of discharge too. I'm not feeling very preg at all, still got tender boobs, veins on them however i feel the veins might b starting to fade.... i dunno   I spend most of my days looking t them!!   

I have not done anymore pee sticks (i'm too scared now... what if it says 1-2 weeks!!!!    ) I have 4 more LOOONNNGGG days to wait, i just dont think i'll go there and get gd news.. i had a dream lastnight that i went and was told i had a missed misscarage... this is my fear(i know its all of ours)  Could somebody tell me if it is bad news at my scan/ or good news how does the doctor say it? Just so  i know whats coming... if u get me. 

Sorry for the negative post, i'm just feeling so so so down  

xxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Scotlass, what have you been advised to do? Do you have a target for IVF? I hope things start moving soon for you. I'm sure if you are out a couple of times a day with a puppy you will start to see a difference. 

Berry, I think you should go out with Scotlass and her puppy to cheer you both up. Sorry you are feeling so down. Are you at work at the mo?


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi 

just a quick post to send lots of   to Flash - so sorry that you still have no answers. WOrryin gis exhausting, so look after yourself. I am   that you will have answers soon. i woudl ask to be seen for 8 weeks.  

Berry - honey, you are doing fine and it is just the hormone fluctuations whihc make yoru symptoms more orless obvious. When you have your scan they will be pretty straight forward with you. Well, they were always with me, good or bad news.  

Martakeithy -hoep I did not come over all patronising. Good luck with the appointment!

Sorry, have to go, big HELLO to everyone else.

CA


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Marta- thanks   no i'm off work today. I'm so tired today, i feel like i could sleep forever!!

AnneS- thanks hun


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello    Hope everyone is well.  Scotlass I hope the appointment with the dietician goes well and she can offer you some advice.  Hope the puppy is well and keeping you busy, I know our dog keeps us fit and gets us out walking even on days when you would rather stay indoors.  Berry hope you are feeling better, remember lots of pregnant women dont even know they are pregnant so I wouldnt worry that you dont "feel pregnant".  Try to keep positive, as hard as it is   
Feeling rather tired today, couldnt sleep last night had one of those nights you lie awake  worrying about things and then worry that you arent sleeping and you are going to be tired for work ............. and theres me telling you not to worry Berry!!!


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## Ebony2005 (Jan 17, 2006)

Hi there
Hope everyone has had a good day.  Although I no longer post here I do still read everyone's progress and I just wanted to say to Berry - not everyone feels pregnant.  Apart from my ever-growing stomach, I never felt pregnant at all throughout.  No sickness, no cravings, nothing.  I was trying to make myself sick for the first three months just to prove to myself that I was pregnant whilst waiting on the scans!!  I know how you feel but try to enjoy the fact that you are pregnant and look after yourself.  
Even though I didnt feel pregnant at all - Samuel (now 10 weeks) was 9lb 13oz!!  

Hope that the next few days go quickly to your first scan.

Sending my love to everyone.

Hannahxx


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

marthakeithy i was asked to change mey milk from blue to green cut down on bread and stop fizzy juice which i have done 

  just wish i was skinny so i can have a baby


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

scotlass - aww hun. when i try to lose weight i always drink fresh cranberry juice, apparently it speeds up ur metabolism... it works for me. and i find it very hard to shift weight. xxx


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

thank you for the advice i will give anything a try at the moment thanks


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

I'll try think up some more stuff that i've heard of and i'll let u know.... I know its so hard. Take care hun xxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi Girls,
At work so just a quickie..
Sorry not been around for a wee while.  Had a pretty rubbish weekend all in all, with friends who cancelled Sat night as their wee boy had a fall so they took him to A&E and not much else happening so just more time to think (too much!) about scans that show 2 wee blobs.
Had browny discharge on Sat and Sunday and really strong AF feeling and was sure that this was it - the dreaded m/c about to happen, but no, nothing.  More twinges on Sunday so had a couple of glasses of wine. I know that the chances of this going onto a real prg are so slim so what the hell?   
Phoned unit today to ask to change appt to Thursday. Lots of humming and haa-ing as they are busy so just left it (reluctantly) at Friday. Just have a horrible feeling that something really awful is going to happen (not like me really)

Catch up with you all properly tomorrow  
Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

awww flash   the clinic r really bad at trying to fit us in early/ or later its terrible. What time is ur scan on friday? I've to b there for 10am... i really have a feeling something is gonna go bad with me too...  i hope i'm wrong. xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Flash what a nightmare for you and your friends. I hope the little boy is OK. You must be climbing the walls. Retail therapy? I don't think the odd glass of wine will do much, apart from make you feel a bit more chilled. Not that I'm saying you should go on a pub crawl. 
I hope you are coping OK with all this. Could you ask to see the counsellor, probably a bit too short notice??
Sending you and your blobs big hugs.    

Berry, stop being negative, poor little baby won't know what's going on. If you feel tired that's a pg symptom, all the progesterone I think. Can't wait to hear what happens on Friday. 

Scotlass that sounds like a start, but did they give you recipes or ideas for meals and things. 
I don't know if this will help, but when I used to want to lose weight I tended to replace a meal - being an impatient person. I would have a normal cereal breakfast: fruit and fibre or something with red top milk, fruit juice and coffee/tea then I would use a slimfast type thing for lunch with a few pieces of fruit and lots of water then a normal dinner - nothing with cheese or fatty meat, just pasta and sauce or veggie curry or something. I always allowed myself a small choccy thing though, like a milky way or finger of fudge. Those chocolate option drinks are a good way to get a chocolate fix with few calories. Oh and fruit flavoured ice lollies are handy for pudding, so you can have one or two and feel as if you have had a sweet thing. Low fat yoghurts are a good pudding as well, so you get your calcium.
How far are you walking with the puppy?
It takes time to lose weight so don't weigh yourself more than once a week.

Anne, of course I didn't think you were patronising. I appreciate your advice it's always nice to get some input.  

Pumpkin, I meant to say that meal sounded yummy! I live down in the Shore in Leith, were you down here?

Ebony that sounds like the perfect pregnancy, apart from the trying to be sick part. I hope mine will be like that! (she says hopefully)

So I've started the treatment cycle - we're off!!! 
Had a scan and there were about 12 or 13 follicles and a cyst   but not a big one. I'm a bit prone to cysts but the doctor didn't seem overly worried. It was doctor King incidentally.
After the dummy transfer (fine) I showed the doc the protocol from last time and she made surprised faces and frowny faces, like a hairdresser when they say 'who cut your hair the last time'. She was interested in the details, but they aren't doing the same thing this time, so I hope it all works out. The only thing which is going to be the same is that I have to take the pill for two weeks before starting buserelin.
I have no money left and big bag of drugs and needles.
What would be nice is to have a blood pressure taken when I wasn't highly anxious - every time, it's awful and too high. The nurse called it 'white coat syndrome'.
The baseline scan is 6th August and the nurse thought the likely TX date would be August 17th or thereabouts, so think I will take that day as annual leave because somebody else at work is after the same day.
Here we goooooooo!


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello ladies - sorry I have not been on in a while... work has been manic as per usual and trying to get tidied up for holidays does not help...  Start jabbing next Thursday in Mexico but not quite sure how I feel about it all to be honest...

Marta - how exciting!  We are cycle buddies as those are my dates too!  My scan is on 6 August so I am assuming you start the Buserelin on the 23rd July?  I am also expected to have EC/ET w/c 17 August...  So happy that someone is going through this at the same time as me..

Berry - you are a worry wart!  You have no reason to think it will be anything but positive on Friday so keep your chin up! x

Flash - I am sorry to hear that you are still no further forward.  Hopefully Friday will bring you some answers and some closure..  xxx

Scotslass - smaller portions always help me and filling my plate with salad or veg and lots of water helps..

Hello to everyone else....


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello All

Flash - thats not good that you have to wait until Friday, I hope the days go quickly but I know what its like when you are waiting for something like that, time just drags.  Really hope the scan on Friday is more conclusive.  

Scotlass - Dont give up hope I am sure you will be able to get the weight off.  Do you have to lose a lot?  I am sure if you make changes to your diet and increase your activity then you will start to notice a difference.  Do you do any other exercise apart from walking the dog?  For fat burning you need to do things that will increase your heart rate so although walking the dog is good you might also need to do something a bit more strenuous too.  I really hope that you start to notice a difference soon, once you do you will be more motivated to continue.  Do you have a friend who is trying to lose weight too that you can help each other along?  If not we are all here to help support and cheer you on.  Remember that goal and focus on it, you'll get there.

Martakeithy - No it wasnt in Leith it was a little restaurant in marchmont.  Great news about the start dates.    Not long to go

JSparrow - Not long to go now and thats great you and Martakeithy are going to be going through treatment around the same time.

Berry - Not long to go now till your scan, dont assume the worst, there is no reason too.  I look forward to hearing your news  
Hi to everyone else xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Sparrow, that's funny about being cycle buddies isn't it! 
How is the packing going? Packing is rubbbiiiiiissh! I hates it! Do you have a tight baggage allowance?
From what you are saying your protocol is slightly different to mine: I am taking the pill until the 30th July, then starting Buserelin with a baseline scan on the 6th, so just the seven days on Buserelin. I told the doctor that I took the pill last time, so I think she may have decided to use it again as it worked last time.
Why don't you know how you feel? Just a bit worried do you think?
I know you are going away soon, but if you want to chat about anything before or after you go on holiday send me a PM and I will email you my details and tel. It might be nice to share the craziness.  
Hope you have a lovely time in Mexico

Pumpkin I think when I hear fish restaurant I think Leith.


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

i have to lose 3 stone 

  i walk all the time at work i work in a supermarket and i look after the tills so i do nine hours shifts doing that 
  started having smaller portions too eating alot more fruit and fruit juices 

    the bread one is the hardest to cut out 

  can u ask the dietision about the tablets u can get will they guve u them


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

well girls here is the laugh of the day 

  i have lost 1lb in 2 months 

  dont htink i can do it anymore


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Oh dear Scotlass. Have you had tests done for thyroid? Also do you have PCOS? 
I'm wondering if there is an underlying medical condition
What do you think is the main problem with reducing your diet? Do you snack or eat when you are bored? Have you given up smoking recently?
Weight watchers has a programme to deal with psychological causes of over-eating, do you think that might help?


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

they recon that i am eating the right things but need to reduce my portion sizes and cut out on the ribena i am drinking instead of fizzy juice 

  will try for a wee while longer see what happens


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Just checking in to make sure you're all ok


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Marta - that is good we are cycle buddies...  Great to have someone to go through it with..  I am not sure how to PM but it would be good to be in touch.  I am trying not to think about it too much - it is that tricky balance of being hopeful but realistic and not getting too down before you start..  Keeping busy at work helps but finish up tomorrow... Not started packing yet... but will do that on Sunday!

Scotlass - portion size is the key...  it worked for me and I lost 1 stone without blinking..  you do get used to eating less, but the first two weeks are the hardest.  Half everything on your plate and eat slower..  

Hello to everyone else and hope you are all ok...  xx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

berry - i know its hard but don't think too much about Friday   , you had a good HCG level at the beginning and its too early for any real prg symptoms so you and bubba need to relax!!!, we're going for 9am on Friday. Wish I could see you to give you a big hug! Is ur DH going?

jsparrow - insanely jealous that you are packing and nearly off on hols!!.  I was on holidy as well to start down-reg and it was  good sitting on the bed jabbing whilst looking out to the Mediterranean! Same for u I hope!! Hope you have a magic time and           for tx!

scotlass - aw hun, sorry to hear, we all know its a nightmare when you try really hard and it doesnt seem to pay off. All great suggestions here, my fairly pathetic one that worked for me   was a wacky 3 day crash diet (that involved boiled eggs!) that lost me about 4lbs in 3 days!! and gave me a real spur to carry on with healthy eating for a few weeks after that to lose a bit more! Finding some form of exercise that you enjoy even dancing round your living room is good as well   dont be too hard on yourself..

martakeithy - oh not long to go until you start, why do you start with taking the pill??   good start for number of follies. are you IVF or ICSI?         from now until you start! Know what you mean about having no money after all this tx stuff, DH and I have both got birthdays quite soon and we're seriously thinking about cancelling them!!   . take care x 

pumpkin-pie - hope you are doing OK   .  Hope your days go quickly too until you start in Sept/October!

Big hello to everyone else who is lurking around.

DH trying to book somewhere nice for a meal on Sat night as its my birthday and is so far not being successful!!! Whats going on in Edinburgh on Saturday!
How many hours is it now until 9am on Friday..  
Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hey girls,

I have a confession to make! I did another test BUT i did it about 8.30 tonight... so it was like my 1millionth pee of the day/night. It came bk as 2-3 weeks AGAIN... but as its not 1st pee, do u think thats ok? should it say 3+ in morning maybe? I'm trying not to think too much about it as i think its not bad as i thought..... i dunno


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

flash - think we posted at same time...  DH will be with me... dont think i could do it alone! xxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

berry - definitely not bad as they always say to test first thing in the morning as the level is more easily detected, I think. 1 millionth pee doesnt count!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

flash- so u think thats hows my levels have went up?


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

hello

Good luck Flash and Berry with your appointments on Friday.  Berry I cant believe you are still doing those tests!  You need to stop, its not helping you!  I am sure you will feel much better after the scan on Friday.   to you both.  Hope time goes quickly.
Off on Friday to visit my sister up north, shes just got a little puppy, a cocker spaniel, he is so tiny!  so going to spend the weekend with her and leaving my DH to look after our dog at home!
Hi to everyone, hope you are all well xxxx


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## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

*Berry*- just to echo what pumpkin has said.... step away from the pee sticks       Try to keep positive that you are still pregnant and have no reason to think otherwise    (I had no symptoms at all in first tri that I could differentiate between the normal stresses/being knackerd/feeling a bit rough) I know how hard the wait for the scan is but it'll be here soon. Got everything crossed for you 

*Flash*- am so sorry for everything you've been going through these past few weeks  I hope that it gets resolved for you on Friday. Will be thinking of you.

Love and best wishes to all the ERI girls past & present

Maz x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Pumpkin that puppy sounds so gorgeous. There is a lady with two Cavalier KC spaniel puppies, who walks them in the morning. When I say walk, I mean drag. They lie down all the time and grab the lead with all of their paws then chew the lead. Or both go in different directions at the same time. Really sweet. I hope the weather is reasonable for you.

Flash, you sound a bit more cheery, I really admire your positive spirit. I think the pill is part of down-regging because that's what I had the last time. I'm not sure if the doctor felt she should incorporate something from the last cycle to keep me happy or has some other reason. She kind of disappeared before I could ask any questions about the treatment and I was left with the nurse. Did you have another chance to talk to the doctor at your baseline scan?

Sparrow, hopefully, you can pick up lots of bargain Summer clothes in the sales before you go, save you washing anything before you go.  Have PM'd you.

Berry, you could try another test tomorrow, but as you have a scan on Friday, perhaps you should just wait for that instead and have a day off from worrying. 

Well have taken pill number two and had a massive row with DP about the stupid HIV/HEPB test we had done at the GUM clinic at Lauriston Place before we went for our last treatment. I managed to go for the printed results on a day they closed, so we ended up not getting them in time. After we returned I completely forgot to go and get them and now ERI want a copy, so we will still have to get them. DP is having a big sulk, not sure why. Perhaps it's the pressure of the whole IVF thing starting again. 

I can't remember if I asked before, but do any of you guys go to the gym? I have just seen a report about women who exercise for over 4 hours a week having a much lower chance of success at IVF. Drat, I was really enjoying the gym and now I feel as if I will have to reduce what I am doing in case I risk the treatment.


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Morning (just...),

Berry - wishing you tons and tons of luck                        for tomorrow and remember we are here for you. You will be fine. I don't think the pee sticks can be that accurate at this stage so better keep away from them.  

Flash - I hope you have something nice planned fo rthe weekend. No cancelling friends either, hopefully! And I am sending you a massive    and of course lots and lots of luck  . As I said befoe, you maust be quite tired fromteh worry. Be good to yourself and let us know who you got on. I wish I coudl help you better and take all this madness away.  

Marthakeithy - not sure about exercise. As you I did enjoy quite a bit of sport: running, gym (rowing and cycling) and swimming. I cut it down to walking, swimming and light cycling. I watched my heart rate or simply made sure that I did nto start sweating. During treatment (from stimming onwards that is) I did nothing, except the odd walk. No sport during the 2 week wait. Definetly no swimming in 2 week wait. It is not nice because I used sport as a stress buster and it really helped me. Best of luck with your treatment.

Pumpkin - have a nice break with your sis. My brother just e-mailed to say he will come over at teh end of August. Look forward to that myself

Sparrow - happy packing  

Scotslass - hope you find something that helps you shift those pounds. I had to cut out the snacking between meals. Also try to drink something (half juice, half water?) instead of giving in to snacking as often you are nto really hungry, but in fact thirsty (or so I was told  ). Good luck!!!!  

Back to work  

Caroline


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Caroline! Thank you for that advice, it is really useful, particularly as you have been successful. I would miss the gym a lot, it's not just the work out, it's the peace and quiet.  
I spoke to a member of staff at another gym last night and they advised me to either cut down the number of nights, to one or two, or to ease up on the resistance on the machines I use. I think your advice is great. Hopefully, I could keep going, but go easy and then just do gentle walks in the weeks of stimming. Better not eat any pies those weeks either. 
It must have driven you mad though, not going at all.
What are you doing now? Are you back at the gym or doing any classes?


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Just popping in to wish Berry good luck for tomorrow.      

Martakeithy I didnt use the gym but I had been swimming 50 lengths once a week and an aqufit class once a week and some nights I went for an hours walk. I kept it up during d/r but when I started stimming cut back and the week of EC/ET I stopped swimming & aqufit and walking was uncomfortable too. I havent done anything since, too scared too!

Flash I hope you get some answers tomorrow.  

Scotslass I know the losing weight is tough. I was told to lose weight before my first tx too. I really cut back my portions and had small snacks in between meals. I cut out alcohol and fizzy drinks too. Different things work for different people though. Have you tried weight watchers or scottish slimmers? I hope you find something that works for you.

Sparrow hope you have a lovely time in Mexico, jabbing wont be so bad on holiday.

Pumkin have fun with your sister and her puppy.

Hello everyone else

xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Good luck tomorrow Berry and Flash!            

Jane, your little girl is a proper little Scottish lassie in that picture, with the red hair. She looks lovely! 
I skipped the gym on Wednesday to have a think about what to do.  I'm hope going three times a week, but only doing light exercise will be OK and then nothing during stimming, apart for gentle walking (whatever that is). I think gentle walking is what the tourists do during the festival, when they totally get in everyone's way on Princes Street. I'm going to be soo popular!


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## scotlass (Sep 21, 2008)

good luck berry and flash xxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

all  my symptoms have vanished!!! no veins on boobs!!!       I had loads yesterday, my boobs were covered in them..... i'm so so scared!!!!!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

bad news for me.   

2 empty sacks ... i sort of knew something was not right, but i was so holding on to the hope of being wrong. Thank you so much for all your support, i'm gonna take some time out now. 

I'm absolutely gutted, so empty.


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Oh Berry      I am so sorry honey     

Martakeithy thanks J's hair is strawberry blonde so some days its red some days its blonde   I tried doing my aquafit class gently the first few days of stimming and I found it really hard to do and didnt enjoy it so much so I just gave up. Im sure going to the gym will be fine until you are stimming. Im sure all the nurses said if your body is used to it then its ok.

XX


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## Ebony2005 (Jan 17, 2006)

Berry - had been thinking about you this morning and just checking to see how you had got on.  I am so so sorry.  Hope that you and DP look after each other at this time.

Sending you both lots of love  

Hannahxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Berry    I'm so so sorry to hear your news, thinking of you both n


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

does anybody know what will happen to me? Will i have 2 have a d&c?i have to go bk nxt week to see what is happening.... but obviously its over, we pretty much got told that.


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Berry   I think each clinic is different in their approach and it depends it you start to m/c naturally    

Mine gave me the option of having a medical m/c, surgical or waiting for it to happen naturally, which is what I decided was best for me...everyone is different though sweetheart


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Berry - I am so sorry to hear your news...  I am sending you a big  

I am also sitting here in tears as we got a letter from Dr Raja last night when we got in and it says that my AMH levels are low (under 5) and so my chances of getting to egg recovery are low.  I am waiting on the clinic to call me back to explain exactly what this means as I start down regging next week...  So upset, feel it is over for us before we have started...  I thought I had already had this test and it was fine but it would appear that Dr Thong was not particulary clear for us..

Have to go out now as getting holiday mani/pedi and hair done so will come back on later...

Hello to everyone else and Marta - got your PM, will reply later x


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Oh berry I am so so sorry. Sending you massive hugs    

I am away at present so not checking as much but wanted to see how you had got on.

I don't know what to say, except I am so sorry xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry, I'm so sorry about what's happened. And we were all trying to keep you going by telling you to stop testing. Feel bad now, but it's so hard to know what to tell people for the best. You do kind of 'know' when things aren't going well. I knew when I had IVF the last time, just didn't feel pg even though I had a positive test and then I started bleeding.
We're all here for you, whatever happens. I hope you can get this all resolved quickly, not dragged out. Definitely schedule a counselling appointment, I think you need a chance to sort this out, you have been through a lot! Big hugs to both of you!  

Sparrow that is a disappointment, but I read loads on AMH levels when I was waiting for my results and there are lots of cases of women still getting eggs and a bfp with low AMH. 
I found a couple of threads http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=146088.0 and http://www.ivfworld.com/topic.php?id=31649
It's just another hurdle, but it isn't the end of the road.


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Just a quick message to say to 

Berry - hon, I am so so sorry to read yoru news. My heart goes out to you and your DH. I will be thinking of you and if you feel like taking time out form here, than that might be the best for you now. But remember that we are here any time you feel like coming back. 
                   

CA


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Berry - Oh hun, there are no words to express how sorry I am for you      we were all looking forward to sharing your good news with you today  A million of these for you and DH     .

I'm really sorry to continue a grim day on the thread but the news of my scan today is that I'm going in for a medically managed miscarriage next week.  As you can imagine, DH and I are just devastated today.

Berry, if you want to know anything relating to this, PM me and I can pass on what i heard this morning.  Sorry please don't take this as insensitive   , intention is only to help out in any way I can a buddy in similar circumstances, more   

I'm also going to take out time out from the thread. Cant even think about the future at the moment.

Take care everyone 
Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash - I sent u 2 PM


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Flash     sending you and DH lots of hugs and sorry about your news x


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Berry/Flash,

There are no words to try and ease the pain you both are feeling.    

Thoughts are with you both and DHs Take good care of yourselves. 

C xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash, sorry to hear about the news! It has been such a long road for you, I'm not surprised you need time out until you feel a bit more human again. I'm glad you have your closure though and don't have to go on and on the way you had.
I'll miss you on the board, but look forward to hearing from you again when you feel up to it.
Same goes to you Berry, you have been really good fun to talk to, but I understand that you might not feel up to posting at the minute.


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## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

Just wanted to send huge hugs to both Berry and Flash    So so sorry for you both that today was not good news. Take time for you and DH (both) to grieve. We all be here for you when you feel ready to come back

Much love
Maz x


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Flash Im very sad that you have had to go through this. But you must appreciate  there is finally an end for you and you can grieve properly for what has happened. Sending you lots of hugs


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Flash & Berry - I'm so sad to hear your news  . I've been popping in to check on everyone now and then and was so hoping for good news for you both. All I can say to help is that you WILL feel better  . Having been through it a few times, the worst of it is this bit - finding out that you have or you're going to miscarry and then the aftermath - especially since your hormones go through a dip which makes things even tougher. Allow yourself to grieve and don't worry if you feel a bit nuts and burst into tears randomly - it's normal  . And though you probably don't want to think about it now, the vast majority of women who miscarry DO go on to have a healthy baby - for both of you, even after what you've been through, you are far more likely to go on and have a successful pregnancy the next time than you are to go through this again.

Take care of yourselves and you DHs.

Love
Jan xx


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Hey all,
I have been lurking for a few months after we made the decision to try IVF. To cut a long (and traumatic) story short, we have been TTC for almost 2 yrs, spontaneous pg last Nov and m/c Dec, and all my tests have been fine. DH's SA has varied from incompatible with natural pg (interestingly this one was the month we conceived naturally!) to almost normal.
We decided to go for self-funded IVF after several bad SA's and had the short protocol in April/May-20 follicles, 8 eggs, 5 fertilised but by day 3 (as it was a Friday EC) only 2 grade 2 + 3 4 cell embryos. Both were transferred but we were told are chances were slim so we grieved and planned for round 2. Cue surprise BFP and an endless 3ww for viability scan. Our worst nightmare came true-no heartbeat + small for dates. Went back following wk-weak heartbeat in 40s and knew our angel wasn't meant to be. 
What prompted me to join FF was seeing what you're going through Berry, and to try to answer your questions about what happens now. I was also told to return a wk later to check, and unfortunately this confirmed the worst. I do hope it's different for you. However, if not, I think you will be given a choice as to further management - surgery, medical management, and a wait and see approach for a natural m/c. Everyone is different but I wanted to avoid surgery at all costs, and wanted to be at home when it happened, like last time. I was seen back at the unit most wks, and finally at just over 4 wks after my 7 wk scan, I m/c naturally at home.

Anyway, sorry to have gone on, but I just wanted to answer some of your questions. x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Digger I'm sorry to hear about your MC, are you considering any more treatment?
Did you avoid the surgery because of the infection risk or just not very keen on any more 'intervention'. 

I was wondering what I would do, but I suppose it depends on whether you want to move on fairly quickly with more treatment. Surgery, might a bit more 'decisive' and allow you to move on to the next cycle more quickly I suppose.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Digger thanks for the info   and i am very sorry that u had to go through this too. 

Thanks everyone for the kind support, i'm really finding it difficult to cope. I just wanna move on and start again. Now looking into going to GCRM.... i know some of u have already done this... if you could please give me info on it that would be great.

berry xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Berry, hi sweetie. No wonder you feel so bad, this is a hard thing to go through. I know you can cope though, because you are good at letting things out and not pretending to be fine when you aren't. So sorry you are going through this, but the next time is your time.
Take it easy on yourself and let yourself grieve.


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hello,

I have to continue the thread of bad news. Was admitted to hospital with bleeding and cramps on Friday and miscarried our twins this morning. My DH is with me and we will take every day as it comes. Won't be on here for a while.

Take care everyone.

Caroline


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Caroline    oh sweetheart, my heart goes out to you both, so so sorry


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

anneS - i am so sorry hun. i know no matter what any1 say it cant help. hunny i am truly sorry


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Caroline, I can't imagine what you are going through. So so sorry about what has happened to you and your twins.
Don't know what to say, but very very sad news.


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Oh Caroline, I'm so, so sorry! Sending you hugs  . Hang on in there.
Love
Jan xx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Caroline I've posted on the other thread, but just wanted to send you more hugs


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## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

Caroline am so so sorry to hear your news. No words just massive massive hugs          

We are always here for you
Maz x


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

hi girls

flash, berry, caroline = im so sorry for whats happened    cant even try to understand what yous are going through so sorry       

well we got bk from tenerife on friday we had a great time think we needed it coz we have been going through a bad patch and it really helped we done so much talking and he opened up his feelings bout ivf s0 we are going to be more  possitive   
plus we had alot of love making (not really been finding the time) and im sure i was getting ovulation pains when we were away 

just to ask do any of you's beleive in pshycics?


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

So sorry to hear about your sadness Caroline.  

Martakeithy-I didn't want surgery as there are complications (although v rare), and I didn't want to add any extra problems/difficulties to our TTC. Also didn't want to be in hospital or have GA.
We are on the list again for December but we are going to pay for recurrent m/c investigations first (unfortunately the heartless protocol of waiting for 3 m/c's means we don't meet the NHS criteria). I can't help thinking there must be something wrong-potentially treatable-as at the age of 29/30, my only 2 pregnancies have ended tragically.
Will keep trying naturally in the meantime, once I've stopped bleeding-it's been 3 weeks, at varying degrees!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

I have just been away for the weekend and catching up with whats been happening.  Flash, Berry and AnneS I am so sorry to hear that you have all had sad news.   to you all.  Cant imagine how you are feeling.  Take care xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
I'm still reeling from the news about the twins, it was so unexpected. I don't know what the policy is on these things, but I wonder if the ERI will be investigating to find out what happened. I can't imagine how Caroline is feeling, but it has made me feel so sad since finding out. Such a lot of bad news in such a short space of time, it is hard to stay positive.
Sending Flash, Berry and Caroline more hugs       

Digger I quite understand why you would avoid a GA and surgery, I guess it is a decision which has to be weighed-up by each person if the worst happens. You must be feeling pretty fed-up.
I hope the private tests turn up something conclusive for you, so that you can take any steps that are needed to make the third cycle a success. 


Michelle I'm glad to hear you have had a good holiday and you never know... natural bfp?? Fingers crossed for you and your other half.

Pumpkin did you have a good break? It has been quite a weekend on here.


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Caroline I am so sorry to hear of your news and can't begin to imagine what you and dh are going through.  We are here whenever you need us   

Flash, also so sorry and sad to hear of your news. When are you going back to the hosp?   

Berry, how are you doing hun?    

xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to give u a little update on me. Still no bleeding     i feel that this is being dragged out more and i just want it 2 end so i can get my body bk. 

I got in contact with GCRM about starting tx with them, and i explained my situation to them, i must say, they were really lovely.... i think i'm gonna like this clinic. So i have an appointment for some tests to be done on the 12th of august, so thats only 3 weeks away!! DH has 2 get a SA done and i've to get a ovarian assessment, which i think is a scan.  Then another appointment has been made on the 11th of september with a consultant to discuss the results of the tests and see what they will do. I will then basically be starting tx after that! so really not long to go, and i must admit, thats really what i want. I feel like its the only way i can move forward is to act forward (does that sound weird?) Been told to budget about £4500 for total costs of the tx, so a bit more that ERI but i really do think it will be worth it... well i hope!!!!    

So, i just need to see what will b said to me on Friday at ERI... i bet they will not be happy, but i dont care! i just feel like i'm a number to them.... maybe thats just the hurt of this talking, cos they r all really lovely, i just dont think the way the clinic is run is very good.... i have thought this since my 1st tx. 


Anne - i cant stop thinking about you, i was crying all night lastnight thinking about you, i really wish u were not going through this, u really dont deserve this.... its just not fair.     I'm sending you so much hugs!    

Flash- i hope ur ok, i sent u a PM. take care hun xxx  

Irishlady- i'm ok hun, how r u doing?  xxxx

Hope everyone else is ok, i'm gonna go as DH wants me to go watch a film with him, he is so vulnerable just now, just wants me to be with him and hug him.... i'm not complaing!  xxxxxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello all...  I am so sorry to Anne, Berry and Flash for their sad news over the weekend.  I am so upset for you all and am sending you big    

I am in Mexico and start down regging on Thursday...

Marta - will reply to PM just now, sorry have not had a minute recently..  xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Sparrow I got your PM and have sent you a message. Tell me where you are in Mexico, I want to find a picture and imagine myself lying on the beach, with a cocktail [gazes into space]. 

Berry, I hope it is all resolved for you very soon, it's no fun hanging around like this. When will you be back at the ERI for another scan? I'm glad you feel you are making a new positive move, lots of people do well over in Glasgow. Will you keep us posted on here?
Remember to give yourself time to adjust and to grieve for your embies - I remember feeling that I needed to move on quickly and do something positive, and it does help, but you still need to give yourself time to recover. Big hugs for you and your DH, he sounds like a sweetie.   

Caroline and Flash thinking of you both and hoping you are coping.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi girls,

So i phoned ERI this morning to mention about getting a copy of my notes... they were fine about it... just said i need to right a letter with DH & my signatures on it. 

I was talking to the nurse about my options.... i dont think d&c  is an option, she said it will either be left to nature or medicated management..... i think i want to go for the medicated as i just want it over with now.... does any1 have experience of this? I know Flash is having this, but she has not been on and i have no way of contacting her. I'm, so so scared, i really am. I dont know what to expect. do i need to stay in hospital if i choose this? is it really painful? will it damage me? ohhh the worry. 

On a brighter note...

Marta- yeah, i would love to stay on this thread.. if i am aloud.... i feel like this is my home! you all are my mummies!!!   

xxxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

berry - I've PM'd you with all the info that I can tell you - sorry again for being out of it for the last few days, I really wasnt coping after all the stress of last few weeks.

Caroline - SO SAD for you and DH at your news, you must be feeling terrible.      , sorry no words to express this  . Take good care of yourself and hopefully catch up one day when you feel up to it..

I'm going to ERI on Thursday for the first lot of medication for m/c and really dreading it. ERI have even said that this medicated tx *MAY * not work so I may end up haivng surgery anyway!!! As if not traumatic enough!! Then have to return on Saturday morning for the second lot of medication.
So a few days off work to get my head together after all this I think..

Better go. girls, 
Thanks for all ur good wishes - what a real help its been over the last few hellish days. 

Will pop on next week,
Hx


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Hey Berry,
I have not had medical management of m/c (both of mine have been natural) but I just thought I would let you know what I know. My friend has just gone through it and I was actually due to have it last Friday but started to m/c several days before.
At RIE, you would go to the unit am and they check your blood count to make sure you're not anaemic-it will take about an hour or so to get the result (this will be a Thursday or Friday). Then they give you an oral tablet and you'll go home-you may start to bleed but the majority of women will require the 2nd part of the treatment. 48hrs after the tablet, you go into Ward 210 where you will be examined and given the 2nd part which is a pessary to induce the m/c. The bleeding will probably be pretty heavy with painful cramping. The benefit of being in hospital is that they can treat any pain with stronger pain-killers than you would have access to at home. You would probably be in the ward for ~6-8 hrs and then let home. My friend had painful cramps for ~2 days and passed the baby 4 days after the 2nd part of the treatment. A scan would be repeated to confirm a complete m/c.
Everyone is different-I wanted to do it naturally, at home, and my friend just wanted it to be over, without waiting for it to happen. I have to say that it was pretty traumatic doing it naturally, but I don't think it would be any more so being induced.
I apologise for sounding matter of fact but I thought it might help for you to have a bit more information about what can be a very lonely and traumatic time. I also checked that Ward 210 is a gynae ward and not a ward full of pregnant/new mums and babies. Please anyone correct me if any of this info is inaccurate.
Berry-thinking of you at this very sad time, and feeling your pain.

D


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Sorry Berry-I see that Flash probably answered your questions as I typed!

Best wishes to you both x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

digger thanks for the info..... so in ward 210... there is babies.... is that a joke? oh my god! would dh b able 2 stay with me? i guess not.  is this procedure available at spire murryfield?


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Flash, good to hear from you, just to know you are still checking in and picking up the messages of support is good to know. I hope it all goes smoothly and is over as quickly as possible for you.    

Berry everyone would love to hear how you are doing? If you disappear I'll come looking for you on the Glasgow board. Hope it all goes smoothly for you and you can move on quicly.


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Sorry Berry, maybe I got the ward wrong but Susan assured my there would NOT be babies/pg women. Also they do their best to get you a side room, and I would assume that your OH can stay with you. After all, you're going through this nightmare together. I would refuse to accept if they said he couldn't stay.
As for Spire-don't know, I'm afraid.
I just hate RIE-it conjures up so many bad memories, and I've never had a good news scan. And I've had many scans! To think I was too scared to get my first smear done 18 months ago!!! I totally see your point about changing clinics.

D x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi Guys,

just here to read your messages - what a help itis to have your thoughts. Thsi si the worst tiemin our life but the support we had frompeople like you has been unbelievable.
We spent two nights and two days in NRIE before the miscarriage happened. But it happened naturally, no drugs apaprt from pain killers. DH coudl stay both nights. Was on labour ward (no idea what number that is, but babies, yes, though had room to myself). Ante natal ward for a few hours when they hoped it woudl all settle down - shared room with pregnant woman, but was only there for an hour, then got worse and back to labour ward. Ante natal ward is (I think) 119).    

I guess that you - Berry - will be given either your own room, or might share a room with somebody who might have gyno problems (bladder infection etc.), not with pregnant ladies. Also, at 7 weeks you will bleed heavily, but cramps depend on how your body behaves and can be switched off by pain killers. And they are usually most generous with teh pain killers ...
Your Dh might be allowed to stay, so sorry that you have to worry abotu all this, they shodul explain this to you. Hope Flash coudl help you. 

I am so worried about the impact these stories have on the rest of you. Just remeber they are more the exception. Most of your treatments will be dominated by the waiting games, not this kind of drama.

Flash and Berry - As you wrote yourself , Berry, I wish we all did not have to go through this.  

Somebody asked: yes, the hospital will investigate in our case. We had a blessing ceremony for the twins today to be able to say goodbye to their littel bodies.  

Keep us in yoru thoughts please.

Caroline


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Caroline, I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through, I am crying just reading your post.  And amazed that even though you have gone through all this you are still encouraging those of us who have yet to start treatment.  Thats lovely you had a blessing ceremony for the twins, it must have been hard but nice to do something to say goodbye.  Just thinking of you and your DH and wishing you all the strength you need to get through this difficult time. xxxx


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## Peanuts (Apr 29, 2007)

Hi girls

Just back from hols and got a chance to log on.

Berry - so sorry to hear your news, sending you and DH big hugs   .  I know you want to move on quickly, but you need to have time to grieve over your loss.  I did a similar thing after my first m/c, had txt about 3 months later, which didn't work, and then went into a massive depression about things, mostly because I hadn't grieved properly in the first place.  I know everyone is different, and you'll know yourself, but try not to rush into decisions when you're hormones are still all over the place  

Helen - oh hun    , really sorry that you've had to come to the point to make this decision  .  Will be thinking about you and hoping everything goes well with the procedure .  You know where I am if you need a chat and a big hug  .

AnneS - I can't believe your news, I'm so so sorry to hear whats happened hun    .  You've been so brave going through your loss, hope the blessing was some comfort for you both today, although I'm sure very little is a comfort at the minute  .  One of my best friends went through a still birth and really found a lot of support through SANDS who meet up at Criaglockhart.  I know its too early to think about such things, but there are others out there to help, as well as us on the thread.  You and DH are in my thoughts & prayers  

Digger - thanks for joining the thread and sharing your story.  Can I ask where you're thinking about going for tests?  I managed to get ERI to do basic m/c tests after 2 m/c and 2 biochem prgs, all came back 'normal', but still not happy so thinking about getting immune tests done, but not built up the courage to contact any of the clinics  .

I'll try to catch up with everyone else's news later int he week, and get back up to speed with where everyone is.  I'd like to reiterate what AnneS says to all the newbies on here, the very sad news we've had recently is the exception to the rule, and the vast majority of girls are on here for a cycle or 2, and then are off to the ERI prg thread.  Please don't panic and get too worried about things, you need to concentrate on you and getting through you're treatments and hopefully celebrating good news   

Take care
Dxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

well thats ny holiday over now back to work tomorrow    

wish we were back in tenerife


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Caroline, I'm so sad to hear what you had to go for, it must have seemed surreal. So sad for you and your DH, but you sound so amazing and I'm sure you are going be able to look back on this one day without feeling the way you do now. 
I'm glad to hear you had the blessing ceremony for your babies, they and you deserve a way to say goodbye.
Thank you so much for coming on, I can't imagine what you are going through, but it's good to hear from you.
Big hugs for you and your DH.


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Michelle, I hope it wasn't raining as you left the plane in Edinburgh.  

Peanuts and Caroline thank you both for the reassurance. I have been feeling very shaken, particularly by the loss of the twins, it is good to have support from you guys


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi everyone,

just to let you know that I will still be reading here, but maybe posting elsewhere for a while. So good to read your replies though.

Caroline


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

hello girls
I have been away for a little while abroad so just catching up on eberyones post and am sat here at my computer with tears in my eyes. My heart goes out to you ladies, what an absolute hellish nightmare you've had to endure over the last few days. There are no words, Flash, Berry, AnneS...I am so so sorry to hear what has happened. Like the other ladies have already said so eloquently, all our thoughts are with you. All best wishes, xxx


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

PS. meant to say in my last post, JSsparrow - so sorry to hear about your low AMH - I had a similar experience a few months back and was devastated. We thought everything was 'ok' with me. My level was 3 and , as you say, they said they like it to be 5 or above. It is so hard isn't it. Did your letter say much re the result levels etc? I didn't feel I got a whole lot of info? xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Polly not long to go now. I would also want to know more about the AMH test and how it affects treatment. It's all very well having a test like that, but there has to be some kind of explanation to accompany it IMO.
How are you feeling about treatment?

I have just added a cartoon thingy to my profile - in case anyone is wondering, it's a purple Cookie Monster [eats a cookie to stay in character]

Caroline, I hope the other boards are helpful for you and get you back on your feet. Take Care!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

I think they said at my last appointment they were doing a test for AMH.  I go back to the RIE on Monday so will ask them what mine was.

Martakeithy love your cookie monster!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Anne- take care    my prayers r will u and dh.   


I did a preg test 2night, i was hoping for it to be a faint positive, but it was the strongest line i have ever seen.... i really am getting myself in a bit a of a tizzy as i'm so scared the sac will keep growing then it will b 2 big to 'pass' any1 know anything about this? i'm sure its called a blighted ovum. 

Berry xxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello all..  Berry, Flash and Anne - I am thinking of you and hope you are finding the strength to get through these difficult times..  xx

I am still in Mexico and start my down regging tomorrow morning..  I am getting quite nervous tbh..  The injection is nerve wracking from getting it all together ready to jab me and then the actual jab itself...  DH has offered to do it, but he does not have the gentlest touch (clumsy!) so there is no chance of that..

I will just have to steel myself and get on with it...  

Polly - the letter said nothing about the implications of a low AMH other than it would affect my chances of getting to egg collection.  I spoke to Emma before I came away and my first AMH was 7.8 and my second was 2.8 so she was not overly concerned - it will be how I react to the treatment that is the important thing.

I really feel that it is out of our hands and what will be will be...  hopefully a baby, but we are realistic that it might take a few attempts..  Fingers crossed but it does force you to confront your worst fears about ending up childless..

Hello to everyone else..  xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

just wanted to say to flash that  i'm thinking about u. xxxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

martakeithy, hello cookie monster!!!! and thanks for making me smile today   . As you'll prob guess I've gone through so many different emotions today but that was def the first smile of the day   .  Take good care of yourself

berry, thinking of you tomorrow hun and hope the next few days are kind to you.  I admit it is a scary experience but in some ways it starts the process of accepting which is the terrible hard thing to do   - my first kinda throughts/experience today anyway. biggest of hugs for tomorrow  

jsparrow - well said.  , to have the honesty and acceptance that it MAY take a few attempts.  Hope this is this the BFP attempt and hope the first jab goes OK.

peanuts - hi hun, how were the hols? All that lovely sunshine will have really chilled you out - fingers crossed and     that its perfect prep for the start of tx . Hoping there are no complications with the procedure but having the time off next week anyway.  Drop you a txt  

Funny day of emotions as in one way its the beginning of closure of a long few weeks and in another its the beginning of more upsetting feelings seeing babies and prg women etc.  Had to pop into Boots today straight after hospital for a few essentials and of course it was just FULL of prg women and little ones in buggies etc.  NOt the best timing..

Hello and big hugs everyone else I've missed.
Hxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi Flash, I sent u a PM.   xxxx


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Peanuts-As RIE won't do the tests for us (Dr Kini did his best for us and did ask Dr Thong to make an exception but he said no  )
we asked Dr Kini where we could have them done privately and he has referred us to Murrayfield for them. It's actually Dr Thong there anyway-just that we have to fork out even more money!!!
Just can't bear the thought of going through this nightmare a 3rd time only to find our there could be something potentially treatable to stop this happening.

Caroline, Berry, Flash-thinking of you all and hoping you're getting some comfort from the love and support of your OHs


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Digger - I don't want to stir things up, but I got testing after two mcs because I was also subfertile and because of my age (I was 35 when I had my second mc). My GP wrote to the recurrent mc clinic at the ERI and they did the testing. Might be worth a go before spending lots of money.

Lots of   to Berry and Flash - thinking of you both.

Love
Jan xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Can't stay away from you lot  .

Am having an ok-ish morning. My body seems to get a bit betteras well ...

Thanks for more messages.

Quick questions:

Jan - your GPwrote after your second mc and then ERI tested you? I knwo they usually only test after three mcs for re-occuring mc- is that right? Sorryf for difficult question, I knwo you have been through so much.   And still here to give support and advice - thanks!! 


Another point: Up to what age does the ERI treat you? i turn 39in October  . We have to frosties left, but one of those was not a good grade. So if we decide to have more treatment, we have to consider age, fresh cycle or not etc. Not even sure, whether I am ready for that. I think I should let go of this for a while?

Peanuts - you said something about grieving properly and it sounded so right. Did you know/feel when it was ok again to try?

You are, as always, in my thoughts. 

Caroline


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi girls,

Just wanted to let u all know how i got on 2day.....

Had a scan which showed 1 empty sac... same size as last week, so it has stopped growing at 7weeks.They dont know where the other sac went??    On Thursday i start with my medicated miscarrage.. i've to go into the clinic to receive a pill to take, then on the Saturday i will go into a ward all day and have some pessary's inserted and wait for the sac and tissues 2 come away.  its very sad, but i just need to get on with it so i can put this behind me. I do feel a bit more positive today and i'm not gonna let this get me down! 

Anne - i hope ur ok, thinking about u loads!  

Flash- how are u hun? i hope ur ok, i've also been thinking about u lots.  

Sorry no more personals... my head is a bit blah... and this rain is really bugging me today!!!! 

berry xxx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Hi everyone - sorry been lying low a bit, but still been checking in to see how you are all getting on.

Berry, flash and caroline - been thinking about you all so much and I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I feel selfish for feeling down, when I consider what you have and are going through.    

We have our review meeting on Monday, and really want it to be behind me, so can think about what to do next. It is our 5yr   wedding anniversary next month, so we are planning something nice for that. Not sure if I said but T in the park was amazing!! Was such a great day and we saw some amazing bands - highlights were Lady GaGa, the Killers, Jason Mraz, Paolo, katy Perry, James....could go on and on!! 

berry like you I wish this rain would disappear it is seriously pi**ing me off!! I do hope you give yourself time to grieve from this heartache you are going through.

Big hugs to you all
xx


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## cherry blossom (Jul 20, 2009)

Hi -been reading on and off but not been brave enough to post .

Hi to everyone - sorry for not knowing all your names 

Annes -
So sorry to hear of your loss - its such a difficult time for you . I found a great support in SANDS at Craiglockhart after I lost my twins. they run a bereavement support group and also do 1 to 1 support and counselling . 
I had a FET just 4 months after my loss but with hindsight it was probably too soon as I was emotionally all over the place and still greiving . 
At ERI they will treat women up to age 45 and they let me do 2 consecutive fresh cycles even though I had frozen embryos because of my age. it is so difficult to know when to do another cycle . most clinics in UK will only treat women up to 50 . 
I see the counsellor at ERI ( janette is great  - wouldnt recomend rebecca)  which helps with making these difficult decisions . Take your time and look after yourself

take care cc xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi everyone
Hi Cherry Blossom and welcome, Sorry to hear that you lost your twins but congratulations on your pregnancy and hope time flies till your 20 week scan next week.
AnneS - lovely to see you here again   
Berry - Will be thinking of you when you have to go back into hospital for the medication   
Hi to everyone else hope you are all well and have a nice relaxing weekend.


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Hi Jan-don't worry you're not stirring things up at all, nice of you to reply. Can I ask if the consultants at the recurrent m/c clinic are different from the IVF ones? If so I might ask my GP to refer me-always worth a try, and would be nice not to have to shell out again after almost £4000 on IVF which failed.
I have asked several times and Dr Thong is definitely not budging!!!  

Thanks for your help Jan.
Hope everyone else has a nice day x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone, I haven't been able to get on for a couple of days because of my broadband connection, I hope it improves or I may be posting once a fortnight. 

Caroline, it's great to hear from you. I'm glad this board is helping you to cope. It's great that you can still find time to help the rest of us, I hope it helps take your mind off things. You are a sweetheart!  

Flash I'm glad my cookie monster made you smile, great to know the little things help when you are coping with a big thing. I hope you are dealing with the acceptance OK, it is so hard when you have been through so much. You can do it!  

Digger I hope the GP does the trick for you. I found my GP very helpful when I was on the waiting list for gynae at ERI, he helped me get seen much faster by phoning the ERI on my behalf. 

Pumpkin how are you? Are you doing anything pre-treatment?

Cherry I'm sorry to hear about your twins and that's great advice about SANDS it always helps to know about these fantastic organisations. 

Irish it's great to hear from you, it takes time, but it's great to hear you are feeling a bit more positive.   

Berry, sorry to hear about the no change, it does sound quite conclusive now, I hope Thursday goes very smoothly and it is all over soon for you. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself time. Sending a hug to you and your DH.  

Sparrow, you are so lucky to be escaping all this rain. Is it gorgeous in Mexico? Are you jabbing tummy or leg? Watch out for your fingers. What are  you doing today? I just want to visualise the lovely beach and ocean.


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi girls,
Keeping fingers crossed that DH can finish cutting the grass before rain (if any) comes on! God, its long!  . Hope you've had some nice time in the fresh air this weekend 
Well, yesterday was a hellish long day in the care of our caring but overstretched National Health Service.. 

Our appointment at ward 210 was 10am and we arrived back home at 11.00pm! But really the bad news is that the medication has not worked for me as I've not had any substantial bleed. I did start to bleed on Friday evening so reckoned that after taking the tablets at hospital on Saturday that everything else would be passed - but no more and in fact the bleeding stopped! After being there at 10am not even seeing the doctor on the ward until *1pm * to start medication and then 2 lots of tablets every 3/4 hours, I think my body was reacting to the way I felt-angry and upset!! Eventually finally saw the doctor just after 10pm to discus options of what happens next, which at that time of night and after having bad diarrhoea (effect of the medication), I could hardly think straight, let along make that decision!! So I/we need to decide whether to try the medication again or go for surgery and they said to contact EFREC tomorrow morning to let them know what i want to do. 
I think I'm veering towards having the op to get it sorted out as I'm really sore and uncomfortable now and prefer not to go through another day like yesterday, but still a hellish thought of having it done   . I'm going to phone my Mum and sister next, to see what they think, as I suddenly feel about 10 years old and dont know what to do!!
Sorry no personals tonight, off to sink a large glass of Cava 
Hxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Flash that sounds like a nightmare day and to have gone through all that and still to have to face more thats really tough.   to you and your DH at this really difficult time.  I hope you can decide what to do next and whatever you do decide works out.  

Martakeithy, thanks I am fine.  Looking forward to a holiday in 2 weeks time, will be nice to have a little break even if it is only in sunny scotland!!  Hoping for some nice weather at least, not sure how hopeful I am though!  Not got much else planned before treatment, trying to take it easy, try and stay as chilled as possible, not easy, was at my parents for dinner today and mum was asking about the IVF and how it all worked and about the number of embryos etc and then I ended up bursting into tears.  Not unusual for me though, I cry at anything sad on television, wish I could control my emotions more though!

I have another appointment at clinic tomorrow, DH has to do a sample, not sure what they are doing with me.  Think my period is on its way though, typical its almost a week early and I was hoping it would be late so that my September period would be right at the beginning of the month.  I have been waiting for so long to get started I am just desperate to get going.  Going to ask them tomorrow if my period comes right at the end of August if I can still start from then or if I will have to wait till the end of September.

Hi to everyone else, hope you had a nice weekend.  The weather seems a little better (maybe shouldnt have said that!!) xxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash- ohh god!!! i'm so sorry that the medication did not work!   I actually have a feeling its gonna be the same situation for me, i'm actually dreading it!!!! ACTUALLY crying with the thought of it!!!! were u in any pain?


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello ladies...  quick post as my laptop is about to run out of battery power..

Flash - I am sorry to hear that it did not go well for you at the RIE..  

Berry - try not to panic and I am sure it will go ok for you...  but sad that you are in this situation..  

Irish - nice to hear from you and that you are moving forward..

Marta - on the balcony just now, gorgeous view of the Carribean but home tomorrow..  

Pumpkin - good luck with your app tomorrow..

Anne - hope you are ok - you sound so brave...  I really admire you..  x

Digger, Cherry, Silver - hello..  


Not much to report - jabs are going well and no side effects as yet.  When did they start to kick in for each of you when you started?

Home tomorrow pm and land back in Glasgow on Tuesday morning..  boo...  x


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Flash that sounds awful, awful, awful! Poor you, you are being very brave. No wonder you were fed-up, being left to wait like that, as if it isn't a stressful enough experience.
Excuse my ignorance, but is the surgical option similar to having a termination? 
I hope you feel better when you go back in and things go better. I will be thinking of you.  

Pumpkin, do you think you cried because of the pressure? It sounds as if you will be able to 'vent' your anxieties during the treatment which I think is a great thing - wish I could.
However, in private, I cry at soppy adverts on TV and music and, oh an endless list, so I do relate to what you are saying. 
Hope AF stays away for a bit longer! 

Berry, you poor thing, you must be worried sick. Sending you a big hug


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello ladies...  quick post as my laptop is about to run out of battery power..

Flash - I am sorry to hear that it did not go well for you at the RIE..  

Berry - try not to panic and I am sure it will go ok for you...  but sad that you are in this situation..  

Irish - nice to hear from you and that you are moving forward..

Marta - on the balcony just now, gorgeous view of the Carribean but home tomorrow..  

Pumpkin - good luck with your app tomorrow..

Anne - hope you are ok - you sound so brave...  I really admire you..  x

Digger, Cherry, Silver - hello..  


Not much to report - jabs are going well and no side effects as yet.  When did they start to kick in for each of you when you started?

Home tomorrow pm and land back in Glasgow on Tuesday morning..  boo...  x


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hmmmm... Not quite sure how I managed to post that twice..?


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Sparrow, did you see I posted at exactly the same time as you did.  
Spooky!
Hope you have/had a good journey home.
Speak to you soon


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hello everyone, 

Well just  back from the RIE. DH had to do another sample today and during our appointment with the nurse the embryologist came back with the results.  Unfortunately although his sperm has good numbers and motility there is a high morphology rate/number and so they are recommending that we have ICSI.  I think DH feels a bit gutted although on the positive side there are plenty to choose from so hopefully we will be fine.  They told me that my AMH levels are quite high so they expect me to respond well to the drugs but will have to be careful I dont overrespond.  After my baseline scan they will count the no of follicles and they will decide whether to do a long protocol or a short protocol.  Whatever happens EC and ET are likely to be the beginning to mid October so excited about that.  Now I am worried I will get OHSS and not be able to have the ET.  I know I shouldnt worry about these things just yet though.  

Glad you have had a good holiday JSparrow, sorry you have to come back to Scotland but at least the sun is shining, well it is at the moment at least!!  Not long to go for you now.

Marta - I think I just cry because I want this baby so much and I cant believe my chance is finally coming but at the same time just so worried that it isnt going to happen and then wondering how I am going to cope with that.  But trying not to think like that and keep positive but every now and again those emotions just go again.  Have always cried very easily, if someone tells me something sad and starts crying I end up crying along with them too.  Titanic has me crying everytime even though I know the ship is going to sink!!

Berry, Flash and Anne still thinking of you all at this difficult time   to you all and Flash and Berry I hope that the treatment works, it must be so much to deal with.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Pumpkine - dont worry about OHSS as long as u drink lots and lots during tx and after EC u will b fine. I had OHSS on my 1st tx and i did not realise that i had 2 keep drinking after EC cos i thought the eggs r out me so whats gonna happen.... nope nope nope, silly berry! lol but i was fine and nothing serious. You'll b fine. xxx

Well i'm really nervous about Thursday and Saturday, i just hope it all works out so i can move on. I done something bad 2day, i contacted a Psychic!!!   i know it was a silly thing to do but i was looking for some hope and something to keep me going... well i guess i did get that, but it has got me thinking a lot. I was told 2day that i will have a little boy in 2010 but i will get pregnant in Feb 2010!!! so thats blooming ages away!!! so if i start doing tx at GCRM will it all b for nothing again? This is not the 1st predication i have had like this. In January this year i had spoke 2 a psychic.... a different one and she told me i would have a little boy in approx 2 years time..... so i did the math and bingo, thats about conception around feb 2010!!!   dont know wheather to laugh or cry... but i know its prob kinda all rubbish.... but it does in a way give me hope... even though it feels like a million years away!!!! 

Your all thinking.... oh poor berry has now officially lost it!!! yes i have lol


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Thanks for the advice Berry, I will make sure I drink loads of water and keep drinking it.  Likely to spending most of my time peeing then!! 
I know everyone has different opinions about these things but personally I would not listen to the psychic.  I dont think you can live your life around what one or two psychics have said to you.  I think that when you feel its the right time to start treatment again then you should go for it but do it when you feel ready.  Thats just my opinion though, you do whats right for you.  And no I dont think you have gone   I think you are just looking for reassurance and comfort and thats only natural after what you have been through.  Just take some time to think about what you want to do and when you want to start treatment again, dont rush yourself although I know if I was in your position I would just want to get going again.  Take care and I hope everything goes ok on Thursday xxxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thanks Pumpkin xxx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

A very quiet day on the thread today...

I am home - tired, but sun tanned and back to work on Thursday (boo)...

Did my jab this morning in the car - my timings are all shot to pieces but will just now jab morning time UK time and hope that all works out ok.

Hope everyone is ok..  xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Welcome home JSparrow, hope you survive your first day back at work.  How far are you along with the jabs now?
Berry, thinking of you tomorrow as you go back to hospital   
Flash, hope everything is going ok for you too   
Spoke to my manager at work today who was really supportive and has said I can have 2 weeks off work from EC without having to use annual leave.  Was really surprised but very happy.  SHe had spoken to HR who said it was at the managers discretion what time off they gave.  Felt really positive after speaking to her.  Going back to the RIE in 3 weeks time to have my scan and count the number of follicles then will find out whether I will be on the short or long protocol.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Only a week and a half till I am on holiday, cant wait.  Hoping the weather is going to be good, seems to have managed to stay dry all day today for once!!


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Evening,

Goodluck tomorrow Berry will be thinking about you.     

I am always here for ya.

C x

P.S Hope everyone else good luck at all the various treatment/waiting stages.


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi girls,

Thanks for all the support, i really appreciate it. I dont know what i would do without u all   

Well today was ok, had another scan, no change. So i had to get blood taken which came bk as fine (i'm not anemic, i actually was worried that i was) So i took the pill and felt a bit emotional that i had to do that cos i never ever wanted to have to take a pill to end a pregnancy and even though i know the preg will end i still felt likt i was doing something really wrong. I know it sounds stupid, but i felt so sad for my little sac  

I was speaking to Mia (staff nurse) and she also has a medicated miscarrage last week, so she came into talk to me and explain what i'll have 2 go through. I felt so bad for her and i was really shocked that it had happened to her. She told me it is going to be very VERY painful and to make sure i take every type of medication from the hospital even if i feel at that point i dont need it cos i defo will. She told me that she had no bleeding when she had taken the 1st pill so not 2 worry if i dont bleed. She also said she passed everything and the  tx was successful (but very sore) she kept saying and saying and saying its gonna be so painful and i was to brace myself. She did say i will b able to cope with the pain but i've to expect the worst. So i'm nervous to the MAX now!!! but the sooner the better. 

I am getting a bit of crampy pains tonight, but nothing major and no bleeding or spotting....  so only time will tell. 

Hope everyone is ok. 

Flash & Anne - i'm thinking about you both and hope ur doing well.  

Cazza - I hope ur doing well, cant wait to hear about ur 20 week scan!  

Jsparrow- hope u enjoyed Mexico.... i'm jealous! 


Berry xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

berry     to you for the next few days.  Hope everything goes according to plan.  Remember everyones pain levels are different although I think the nurse gave you good advice to take the painkillers, its better to stay on top of the pain rather than take them once it starts to get bad.  Thinking about you over the next few days, look after yourself, is someone going to be with you over the next few days?  Take care xxx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Pumpkin - thanks hun   Yeah my DH will be with me all the time, but also my mum is coming to stay for a couple of days to take the pressure off dh as we r self employed so she will help us a bit. I'm sure i'm be on keeping you all up 2 date.... i prob will be on again in about 15 mins! lol  xxx


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## Cazzaw (Oct 22, 2008)

Berry,

Thinking about you........make sure you take all the pain killers available to you.

C x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thanks Cazza... i will b taking everything... i hope they give me something VERY VERY VERY STRONG!!  How r u doing hun? xxx


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## michelle1984 (Apr 3, 2008)

berry thinking of you xx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Berry    my heart goes out to you hun, here if you need anything and take care of yourselves x


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Thinking of your berry   It will be nice to have your mum to make you cups of tea and look after you. 

We had our review on Mon with Dr R. Went ok, got blood taken for amh, so have tried to put results out of my mind until it is nearer the time. We have decided to go for nhs cycle which will be ~ next spring, unless amh results are really low and will then have a rethink! 

Flash and Caroline thinking of you both as well    

Pumpkin-pie don't worry about ohss as this stage, as you may not get it!! Fingers crossed!! 

Jsparrow, hope the injections are still going ok and you had a fab time in Mexico. 

 martakeithy!

and hi to everyone else and hope you all have lovely weekends. Maybe the rain will stay away but I seriously doubt it   

Oh quick question   does anyone go to a homeopath? I am considering it but not made a definite decision yet.

Thank you  

xx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi Irishlady, no sorry not ever been to a homeopath so cant really help but I am planning to have acupuncture alongside my IVF treatment.  xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
sorry for the gap in posting. I don't know why but I've been feeling really tired with a yucky tum. Not sure whether to blame the microgynon (pill) I have been taking. I read that it has given quite a few people digestive problems. However, tomorrow is the first day of injecting Eeek!

Berry, I hope you are coping. It does sound scary, but we are here. I hope everything is going OK and you can finally have the whole thing resolved start to move on.   

Irish lovely to hear from you. So you might be having a well-deserved break. Hope the AMH levels come back nice and high. When do you hear back again?
My auntie is a homeopath, but I work in a health library and think homeopathy is the least impressive of the complementary therapies. Basically a perfectly good herbal remedy is diluted to the point there there is a 'memory' left of the active ingredient. The proper research on it has shown it is not very effective.
Herbal medicine and that kind of thing seems far more effective. I take stacks of herbal supplements.   There is a lady on another thread who has been to a Chinese medicine practitioner for fertility issues and is feeling the best she has felt for years after taking a really vile concoction.
I know a really nice woman who practices herbal medicine at Napiers if you would like her details send me a message and I will pass them on. Take care of yourself!  

Pumpkin that is great news about your time off. Nice to have a chance to relax and take it easy when you need to.  

Sparrow how are you getting on with the injecting. I will send you an email tonight.

Flash how are you? It's been a while, have you decided to go for the surgical option? I hope you are OK?   

Caroline I hope you are coping OK and the other board is helpful for you.   

I phoned the infirmary this morning and the nurse told me I was supposed to start injecting today/this morning, but I have written down it was tomorrow, Oh well. She said not to worry and just to take the pill again tonight and start injecting tomorrow. 
Really don't feel like getting everything out tonight, just want to lie on the sofa. Waaah!  
The baseline scan is for next Thursday and so is my very first ever acupuncture at Mulberry house so it's going to be quite day. 

Big wave to every body I haven't mentioned.


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Hello girls
I know I don't post very often, but I have been keeping up with what has been happening. Berry, Flash and Anne, thinking of you three at these particularly difficult times - I can't believe how much you have all had to go through...some very strong ladies.

Pumpkinpie, sounds like your OH's results were similar to my OH - good numbers etc but not so good morphology. Like you, I am hoping that means they at least have plenty to choose from when it comes to ICSI. Wishing you all the very best.

I am still very worried about my low AMH - in some ways I wish they had never tested me for it as I feel it shattered so many hopes. Before they found out it was '3', they were saying we had over 50% chance of success...and now they say more like 15-20%. I know I should be grateful that there is still hope (and I am) but I'm finding it so hard as TX gets closer. It had also looked like my Sept AF was going to fall on 1st September-ish and now, due to a couple of my previous AFs being a few days out here and there, I now reckon my Sept AF won't be until late Sept...more waiting, aaaarrrggh! I thought I would feel excited as our first treatment got closer but I feel really scared and so anxious in case it doesn't work. Did anyone else feel like this first time?  

Sorry this is a bit of a 'me' post. Thanks for reading girls. And hello to all those I haven't mentioned  

Polly xx


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi all,

back from our wee break. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts.

You are all in mine, always will be.

Special hug to Flash and Berry  

Love

Caroline


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Polly   to you.  I know how you feel about worrying that it isnt going to work.  I think if they told me I had a 95% chance I would still worry I was going to be in that 5%!  Its only natural to worry and feel anxious.  As hard as it is you have to try to keep positive and believe that it is going to work and keep believing that right through.  Although the percentage chance of you being successful has dropped there is still a chance and you have to hold onto that at the moment.
Dont worry too much about your AF being a bit late/early.  I had worked mine out that my Sept one if it was a few dates late might come at the beginning of Sept instead of the end of August.  When I spoke to the nurse she said that if it came a few days before the end of August they would take it from that one as they have me planned for ET in October.  However I might have to wait until the September one if they decide to put me on the short protocol as otherwise ET would end up being too early.  Speak to them at your next appointment and see what they say.
Sounds like we might be going through it around the same time so always here if you want a chat its such a huge thing to go through.

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend.  I have just had a fantastic massage today, feel wonderfully chilled although I had so much tension in my back and neck!  I was just waiting for the therapist to ask if I was a little stressed - YES just a bit!!!  Off out tonight to friends to see them and their two boys, play the wii with them and then have a Chinese takeaway.  Going to tell them that we are going to be starting IVF.  Just hoping I dont cry when we tell them, I always get so emotional talking about it especially the first time telling someone.  Wish I could control my emotions but I cant and have always been like that, still a good cry makes you feel better than bottling it up!!

  to AnneS, Flash and Berry.  Hope everything is ok with you all.
Martakeithy - not long to go now.  Look forward to hearing how you get on with the acupuncture, i need to book my appointment soon.
Sparrow - hope injections are still going well and you still have a bit of a holiday mood
Hi to anyone else I have missed xxxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Caroline, I hope you enjoyed your break. Take it easy. I have been thinking about you a lot and hoping you are finding the strength you need. You seem like somebody who is very centred and if anyone can cope it is you. Sending you a big hug.  

Flash and Berry I hope you guys are OK and things aren't too difficult.   

Polly don't feel too worried, there is a lot out there about women with lower AMH succeeding at IVF. My odds aren't the best, but quite frankly I don't see the point in worrying about odds, the figures are taken from a huge group of people with widely differing lifestyles, ages, health, fertility issues, lots of things, it gives me a headache.  
You will cope with failure if you need to - I hope you don't have to, but you will surprise yourself. Try not to be too worried about things going wrong, it will just mean you having a more stressful time than you need to. The outcome is the outcome, you may as well be happy until you know you have failed (but I hope you don't) rather than thinking you will fail. 
Sorry that was a lecture and a half, but I was so gloomy last time and it made me feel depressed before I even knew the treatment had failed. Expecting the worst didn't help me at all, I just had an awful time all the way through the procedure. This time I am not thinking about failure at all and expecting a good outcome, if we fail we will cope with it.

Pumpkin, bless you sound like such a sweetie.  . This is a very emotional thing to go through and it's great you have people to share it with, more support afterwards for you and your babies of course.  

Had a horrible day yesterday feeling queasy and tired, which I put down to the microgynon. Last time I took Marvelon and that was fine. So today was the first injection of Buserelin and after losing the bag with the needles and freaking out and hyperventilating....it all went fine. 
Had a bit of spotting today, not sure if this was the Buserelin, but it happened the last time with the Marvelon as well.
This is day 24 of my cycle and I'm not sure whether I should expect any bleeding this time or not - anyone


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Just wanted to let u all know that yesterday was a really REALLy hard long painful day. I came home last night instead of staying in over night. I have 2 go bk into ward 210  this morning and make sure that everything is ok. 

I'll keep u all posted...

Berry xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Oh Berry, you have been so brave. That sounds awful, all by yourself. I really hope this is all over for you and you can have a bit of relaxation and pampering - you deserve it. I,m crying just reading about it.
Tell your DH to tuck you up and bring you a lovely hot chocolate in bed! 
Well done, you are amazing!


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Oh Berry that sounds so awful to have to go through, I hope you got on ok when you went back to the hospital this morning.  Take care of yourself and rest up xxx


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Pumpkin and Martakeithy, thanks so much for taking the time to reply, I can't tell you how much you have both helped me. I was having a truly dark day yesterday...cried loads and just felt so low and reading your replies really helped lift me up, so a big, big thank you to you both.

Pumpkin - thanks for the advice re the dates...I hadn't realised it might be flexible like that. I was just told to phone ERI with my Sept period (they haven't asked me to come back in for any appointments before that, just a dummy transfer on day 4 of Sept period apparently) but I think I willl call them this week and see if, as you say, if my period comes at the very end of August maybe that could be our starting point. THanks again. Yes, it does look like we could be on similar time frames, it'll be good to have someone to chat to! x

Martakeithy - thanks for the encouragement. In my heart I know you are right...the odds are just odds and , as you say, they are based on such a variety of people and circumstances. I am trying to make a big list of the 'positives' in my head...I am young(ish!), physically fit etc and so I am trying to pep talk myself and bost the flagging PMA. You have helped me a great deal, thank you. And you're right, there is no point in me feeling sad before it has even started.

Berry - I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and all you're dealing with at the moment. It sounds like you are such a good, strong person and I hope and pray that you get the strength you need to get through this horrible time. Sending you a hug. xx

Hello to everyone else! xx


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## jane1604 (Feb 7, 2005)

Just popping in to give Berry a hug    Im sorry it was so painful. I hope its all over now and you can grieve properly. You were so brave doing it without pain meds, hope the pain is improving now. Im sure it is a help having your mum there to look after you and dh.

Flash hope you and dh are looking after each other  

xx


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Thanks everyone for the support   I'm feeling a lot better 2day, i didnt need to stay in hospital 2day. Doctor just checked me over and said i was fine. They also checked what i passed lastnight and confirmed it was the sac. Hope ur all ok, i'm gonna get my self bk into a good place and gear up for the next cycle. ERI actually have been really good to me and photocopied all of my notes.. so it was very interesting looking at them all.... found our about my husband kartotype does anybody know about this? His was 46XY..... what ever that means? 

Hope 2 be on and hear all the good news this month with all the new cycles starting.    

berry xxxx


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Glad that you got through it Berry and hope you start to feel stronger soon.  Have you made an appointment with Glasgow yet?  Hope all goes well with you and keep in touch with how you are getting on.
Polly - not sure when i am going to start treatment exactly as have worked out my dates again as I though AF was coming early but it hasnt started yet, think it will come tomorrow.  It means I will have my Sept period at the beginning but if they decide to do short protocol my ET would be at the end of Sept and the nurse said they wanted it to be October so might have to wait till the beginning of October.  I will see once I have my scan.  
Hi to everyone else and hope you have had a good weekend.  I really need to make a start on my huge pile of ironing but am trying to do anything to stall starting!!


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

pumpkin- Yeah i have an appointment at Glasgow on the 9th of September. I have been booked in for an ovarian assessment and DH has 2 go for a SA, then on the 12th we r going to see a consultant. xxx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Polly I'm so glad we cheered you up. Pumpkin and I have got pom-poms and can both do the splits 'Go Polly!' 

Seriously, I don't know if this will help, but I have been brain-washing myself by repeating affirmations at least once a day and whenever a negative thought pops in. I repeat phrases like 'I am welcoming my babies' (babies, not baby, in case I annoy one of the embryos), 'my body is welcoming our babies' that kind of thing. It's amazing how the bad thoughts stop coming when you keep blocking them with happy positive thoughts. I am like a big smiley zombie.  
Do a Google for affirmations for IVF or fertility there are loads of sites out there. I hope you feel happy again soon. You do sound a lot more cheery.

Berry, you sound a lot more like your old self you brave woman. Now repeat after me 'I will go and have a lovely hair do and get my nails done'. You deserve lots of pampering and big hugs.  

Pumpkin fingers crossed AF turns up soon, to give you an idea of when your next cycle will start.

This is my second day of injecting buserelin and I'm not really enjoying the side-effects. I am finding it hard to eat and tonight started feeling irrationally depressed. I know I'm not down, so it has to be a hormone-induced downer. Poo! Hope it stops. 
I didn't have any of these symptoms my first time, I'm taking it as a good sign for this one to work. Got to see it as positive or I will get very grumpy!!


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## silver6 (May 25, 2005)

Digger and AnneS,

Yes - I was seen at the recurrent miscarriage clinic after two losses. My GP argued the point that since I also had difficulties conceiving and was over 35, waiting till I had a third loss could mean waiting a long time and losing out on what fertility I DID have. Although they didn't fix the early loss (obviously, since I had another 4 after that) or subfertility problem (whatever it is!!), they identified my clotting issue, which could have had big implications for any ongoing pgs in the 2nd & 3rd trimester if I hadn't known about it, so I'm very glad I went. And when they do identify problems, there are often straighforward ways to deal with them (aspirin, clexane, PGD etc). They are very nice and supportive - I know a couple of girls who were looked after through subsequent pgs by them. They are different consultants from the IVF ones. I saw one called Dr Alexander - woman about the same age as myself. It was completely separate from EFREC (except it's in the same "horseshoe" bit of the ERI).

And please don't see my story as at all typical. Most of the time, the women seen at the rec mc clinic test completely clear and go on to have healthy pgs. As I've said before here, even after 3 mcs, you are still _much_ more likely to have a baby the next time you get pg than another mc. In fact it's only when you get up to figures like mine (6 losses) that the balance starts to tip the other way - and even then, I know several girls with 6-7 losses who now have healthy babies.

I think it's definitely worth arguing your case for testing - after all, if you're having to spend large amounts of time, energy, money and emotion every time you try to get pg, and there IS an easily fixable problem, much better to find that out before you use up any more of these precious things! PM me if you want any more info.

AnneS - yes we did meet at one of the get-togethers - at the Crammond Brig I think - we ended up talking Sci-Fi and you and Kat spoke a bit of German I think?

Berry - hope you're getting on ok today. Your DH's 46xy means that he has 46 chromosomes (exactly the right amount) and that his gender chromosomes are correct for a bloke (women are xx and men are xy) - all sounds good and normal .

Love
Jan xx


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello all..  Berry - I am so sorry to hear that you had a tough time, but you sound like you dealt with it so bravely..  Onwards and upwards now for you and DH - fingers crossed that the next time is your time.. xx

Marta - sorry to hear you are not feeling great - I will reply to your email after this.. x

Polly - I have a low AMH too but I am just going with the flow and seeing how many eggs I get.  Once you get to ET, you have the same chances as anyone else I was told by Emma so the EC is my big hurdle..  However, my AMH has fluctuated from 7.8 to 2.8 so yours might too..  Keep the faith..  x

Hello to everyone else...  I am on day 12 of injecting Buserelin and no side effects!  I had a bit of a sore head this pm at work, but apart from that nothing.  I should be happy but am now wondering if it is working!  AF arrived as normal, albeit a day late but reliable as ever!  I am back to the RIE on Thursday morning for my scan so fingers crossed all is well and I can move onto stimming.

Lots of love x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Jan,

thanks so much for the info - I will try to see my GP tomorrow. She is very supportive sowill discuss this with her and see whether it might get me somewhere.


A big   for everyone else!!!!

Berry an Flash - thinking of you especially.

Caroline


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Martakeithy you really made me laugh with the pom pom and splits comment    You're right though its best to keep positive and upbeat and believe thats its going to work.  I am going to try from now on not to think otherwise and banish all negative thoughts from my mind   

AF I think is now on its way and probably will be here tomorrow.  That means my September period will be right at the beginning of September, am hoping that I will be able to start from then but if they put me on the short protocol dont know if I will have to wait until October period.  I will know more when i go back to see them in 2 weeks.  It will be good to have a date in mind for when treatment will start, helps to prepare both physically and mentally.  

Good luck JSparrow with your scan hope all is going well and you get to start stimming soon.
Hi to everyone else.  Only 4 more days of work then 2 weeks holiday, cant wait !!!


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi girls,

first of all wanted to say that I wish all of you lovely ladies who are preparing or have indeed started treatment the very best of everything: luck, health, PMA, love and support!!!!

Secondly: Look this up for some sound financial advice from a bunch of 9 year olds :

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/8159985.stm

Love

Caroline


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Caroline I loved that link my favourite 
"I think it is hard to save up money, because you have to be good and that is really complicated for me. I have to make my bed, wash up and all that, but sometimes I can't be bothered"

Being good is so complicated! Should I put the cat in the bin or make my bed, oh it's all so complicated! 

Pumpkin how are you doing today?

Silver thank you for the information!

Sparrow I have emailed  you! 

I phoned the ERI today, just to have a bit of a whinge and get some sympathy from the nice nurses.   They said it was normal to feel tired and a bit sicky, just like the menopause. The nurse said 'this what we all have waiting up the road for us', but that because it was usually gradual we didn't notice it so much. Cancelled my counselling appointment as well because I don't think I need it right now.


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Marta and Pumpkin - am loving your pom pom and splits routine! Who wouldn't be cheered up by that lol! Thanks girls, seriously. xx
And Marta, thanks for the advice about the 'affirmations' that's really interesting. I shall have a google about and see what I can find. Can't do any harm eh.
JSparrow - that's intersting about AMH. Thanks too for your encouragement. You're right, getting to EC is what I'll see as the 'hurdle' foremost and then hopefully if ('WHEN'...PMA!!) we get some embryos in theory our chances are as good as anyones. Thanks hun xx

Girls, a few of you have mentioned appointments before your treatment cycle starts. Do I need to ask the ERI about this and arrange to see them again? I'm a bit confused, as last time DH and I were there the nurses just told me to phone them when my Sept period arrived and then I would be asked to come in on around CD3-5 for a scan and dummy transfer. Do you think I need to see them before then? Any advice much appreciated. You girls are fab! Also, does anyone know when we actually get billed? Oh the questions...
xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Polly [does high kick - grimaces]
Have you had the chat from the nurse where you sign lots of bits of paper? We had one of them, but I can't find my diary to check when that was, definitely before the first scan.

The first scan has to be within five days of the start of your cycle and they expect you to pay then. I took the invoice with me and walked along to the office in the main foyer to pay. They gave me my drugs when I was there and went over the protocol and gave me a date for my baseline scan - this Thursday. (Me and Sparrow)

Flash how are you? I'm thinking about you, hope you are recovering well.


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello..

Polly - you sound like you are ok for apps - I had my first big appointment for forms, general info and SA for DH and they told me I had to call with my July period - which turned up the next day!  You have to pay before you leave with the drugs so DH did this over the phone with his card.  I don't think you will need to see them before you call with your Sept period..  

Marta - Thursday is coming round quickly and I am getting a bit nervous...  How are you feeling about it?  Just a slight headache today but feel very tired tonight so thinking about going to bed soon..

Hope everyone is ok.  xx


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Hi to everyone, and thinking of all of you who are due to start a cycle soon.

Jan-thanks so much for your really helpful information. You are so right about wanting to know if anything can be done, as not only are we strugging through miscarriages, but also infertility and expensive treatment. Not that money is the issue-I would quite happily pay all the money I have if it meant a healthy baby.
So after doing my own detective work, I went to see a Dr at my practice to ask for a referral to the recurrent m/c clinic-having clarified that it wasn't run by the EFREC gang! I've only been at the practice twice, and so far my experiences have been pretty negative. I told her my history of 2 m/c (1 following IVF) and also of a possible other undocumented m/c last summer with a 2wk late painful and heavy period.
She had the nerve to then say 'Don't get me wrong, but do you not think you're jumping the gun in terms of classing this as recurrent m/c?' Eh NO!!! How many do you want me to have? She was clearly either someone who's lucky to have kids without any dramas or not want them, and know nobody who's gone through a m/c. Anyway, I'm a doctor myself, and backed up my point, and she finally agreed to refer me. I won't belive it til I see it though as although I spelled it out, she kept talking about how a referral to Gynae might be appropriate. Been there, got the T-shirt!

So will wait and see. If there's a long waiting list, or they won't see me, then we'll proceed with private investigations. I would rather know sooner rather than later.

Love to everyone...only 2 days at work til the weekend


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi girls, 

Just to say thinking about you all and as always and  and   thinking to you!!
Sorry not managed to get on and say proper hellos recently (being away from work is making me VERY lazy!!) but unfortunately I'm not at the end of this process just yet  
Scan on Tuesday (yesterday) showed that there is still a very large blood clot and the egg sac still lurking so the advice was that it will need to be surgically removed ASAP - especially as I'm still bleeding too.  So much waiting about at the unit yesterday .. but they eventually did organise for me to go for the day surgery tomorrow, Thursday to have the procedure - ERPC.  Must tell you that!!...One of the factors in the decision is that we have booked a holiday to Chicago next Thursday!! so they are keen to do the ERPC before then.
Feeling a bit anxious about it all but I know it'll not be too long a day and my Mum is doing the looking after bit for a change which will be nice   .  And most importantly, this really will be the closure day for me, that I accept that its not our time at the moment and its time to look forward to - well a holiday in Chicago for one thing!
Hopefully be back on on Friday in whatever woozy state I'm in! 
Hxx


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## Digger (Jul 17, 2009)

Oh Flash,
Sorry to hear it's dragging on but glad they're fitting your ERPC in tomorrow. I hope it goes smoothly for you and I'm sure your Mum will look after you well...after all Mums are best for that, aren't they?!
It's nice for you to have something to look forward to next week, keep thinking of that when you're feeling low. I wish we'd planned a wee break after our latest m/c but we may get away in September for our wedding anniversary.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow x


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Flash- thinking of you


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Flash I am sorry     Hope it is not too painful and your mum being there sounds like a good plan. 

Pleased to hear you have booked a holiday, a change of scenery will, hopefully, do you both good. 

Thinking of you xx


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## Polly30 (Jun 14, 2009)

Thinking of you Flash.  

Sparrow and Marta, thanks for the advice re appointments. Yes, I have had that appointment where we signed all the forms, consents etc, so I think as you say, we must be all sorted now for appointments and all I need to do is phone them with my Sept period. Yikes, not long to go. Daft as it maybe sounds, with our issues, I still cling on to the hope of a 'natural' BFP every single month. Oh well, here's hoping. How did you both get on with your scan today? So is that the day 21 scan approx? Hope it all went really well. 

Waves hello to everyone else. xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Flash , it's great to hear from you. I'm sorry this is still dragging on for you. Thank goodness you now have an end in sight and a lovely holiday in sight as well. How fabulous!
I hope it all goes very quickly and painlessly and you can finally have a well-deserved break.  

Digger glad to hear you are getting somewhere. How annoying not be be

Hugs to Berry, Caroline  

My news is that I went to have a baseline scan this morning and I have to go back next week, endometrium is still over 4mm - 6.3mm. Wah! On top of which I appear to have 'lost' 8 or 9 follicles and now have 4. Where did they go? The doctor said she could see other 'black dots' but was being conservative and not including them, because she wasn't sure they were follicles [or poppy seeds, I wondered]. 
Next time I'm sure I will go back and she won't be able to find my ovaries either and I will be on Buserelin for 6 more months.
Of course I have booked time off work in advance to cover the EC and stuff. On the plus side at least I will be able to have more of a relaxing holiday.

Went to acupuncture tonight, and it was nice overall, with some eek moments. She did a prod to help me regain my appetite and get rid of some of my nausea and I do feel a bit better on that front.

Hugs to Berry, Caroline


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Flash - hope everything went ok for you yesterday...  Great news about your holiday!

Hello to everyone else...  

I also had my baseline scan yesterday.  It was mixed news like Marta - I have a cyst near or on one ovary, but the doc did not seem too concerned by that.  My lining was 5mm so I also have to continue down regging for another week and am back on Wednesday.  They are confident I should be ready for stims then.  

The good news was that they counted 11 follicles, despite my low hormone level and low AMH result.  I got the impression they were pleasantly surprised to see so many so that was good news.  Maybe the AMH is a bit misleading after all given my fluctuating result?  As ever, it is all down to how I respond to stims so hopefully I can move onto that next week.

Only other news is that I still have no side effects, but I am very grumpy and poor DH has run for cover!

At work, so best go but will be on later..  x


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## AnneS (Sep 18, 2006)

Hi girls,

having computer problems and will take a few days to fix them. Will be back though.

Big   tp everyone.

Caroline


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## pumpkin-pie (May 2, 2009)

Hi everyone, not been around for a few days as my laptop broke   but is now fixed although am going on holiday tomorrow so wont be around for another week!  Martakeithy and JSparrow hope your next scan goes well and you can both get going on the stimms. Flash hope all goes well with the op and you have a fab holiday in Chicago.  Polly, not long to go for us, are you getting excited?  Was seeing my friend this week with her lovely 6 month old baby and thinking this could be me!  Cant wait to get started.  Anyway must go and get packed up.  Off to Dumfries and Galloway area for a weeks holiday, hoping the weather stays as nice as it has been    to all and I will catch up in a weeks time xxx


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## Flash41 (Feb 21, 2008)

Hi!
Just to say survived the ERPC on Thursday and all went well.  What a day of sympathy from everyone I came into contact with at the day surgery unit and even Dr Kini said how sorry he was that this had dragged on so long. Had a good chat with the anaesthetist and nearly had emotional tears! Just the nice way she put how sorry she was for the circumstances. She put "magic cream" on the back of my hand as I said to her that I hated the feeling of the needle and then the anaesthetic going in! Honestly it was fab.  Ask for it if you also dont like the canula going in!!

pumpkin-pie - sorry, you might be away already on your hols but hope it is/was great and you have a nice relaxing time before getting started  
Caroline - nice to hear from you, thinking of you lots and hope you and DH are managing through this difficult time, big hugs.
jsparrow - sorry you have to d/r a bit longer but keep the   up and great news on number of follies. Dont worry about being a grump..its better lettin' it out than keepin' it in!!  
martakeithy - oh hun, I know the frustration at hearing that your lining is just a little bit over but try not to worry, they seem to be happy that everyone responds slightly differently and it makes no difference to the outcome whatsoever  .Again its quality and def not quantity that is the "X FACTOR" !! so to speak as I had about that number of follies but had some good eggs. Glad your time off etc is booked, one thing off your mind eh, 
polly30 -     and try and relax from now til Sept!!  
irishlady-hi, how you doing hun? Take good care of yourself,  

We havent figured out a plan of what to do next but it really feels like not the right time at the moment.  Hoping that "Accept and Move on" will come back into our lives after our holidays.
See you soon

Hx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone,
Flash it's great to hear from you. Thank goodness it went so smoothly after all of the other set-backs. I'm glad they were so nice to you, you deserve it! You sound as if you need time to heal now, perfect time for a holiday.  
I was a bit fed-up about not seeming to have as many follicles as when the other doctor counted, but we shall see. I totally agree about the quality being important, I know people who had very high egg numbers but who ended up with one or two good enough to put back. I just want one good one. 

The acupuncture seems to have really helped with my appetite. I am now back to eating normally and feeling hungry. Oh dear, better keep an eye on that. I don't know about you guys, but when I have been off my food, when my appetite comes back, it comes back with a vengeance. [puts padlocks on cupboards] The acupuncturist said a lot of people were tired after having a treatment, well that seemed to be the case with me. Could barely keep my eyes open yesterday.

Pumpkin, what! Your laptop broke! That's awful, I would need counselling. Can you imagine the counsellor's face at the ERI if you went in and started 'I'm so upset, I can't get onto the internet'?
I hope you have a fabulous holiday and great weather. 

Sparrow, are you feeling more chilled now? I do think these drugs make you a bit 'touchy'. My poor DS, I almost took his head off earlier for pouring glitter out! I feel like a big monster!  

Giant hug for you Caroline. Take care and get that computer back on line soon!  

Berry are you out there? How are you sweetie?


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## berry55 (Sep 4, 2008)

Hi Everyone,

Hope everyone is doing ok and has been enjoying the lovely weather. 

I'm just in a complete depression at the moment, i'm feeling really sorry for myself. Just feeling like i have absolutely nothing in my life going good just now. I'm really really down, never felt like this before (and my god, i have had a lot of bad things in my life) My DH is staring to lose patience with me and i dont really blame him. I felt like we could have done with a wee holiday b4 we start our nxt tx but its not gonna b possible as our business cant be left just now  I thought if i had something to look forward to it would help and give me some joy again. But no  Also my best friend is preg... i'm so happy for her and her DH as they will be fanstaic parents but i just feel so rubbish that again its not me  Its really hard as she is 1 day ahead of what i should have been, she is due her 12 week scan in 2 weeks time and i know she will show me the scan pic and i will prob get so upset as i will b thinking thats what  i should have now   I feel kinda all alone as my DH is not really understanding my pain and its annoying me so much. I'm also getting so upset that i'm actuallly staring to blame dh (in my head) and i cant beilve that i am actually doing that!!! but its just all so unfair!    

Anyway apart from feeling so poo i think my body is getting on ok. I stopped bleeding yesterday and i'm wondering if thats normal.... 8 days of full bleeding? i thought it would be more like 10-14 days...  dunno.    I have to go to the GCRM on the 9th of september for my ovarian assessment which will be a blood test AHM and a internal scan..... just wondering if any1 would be able to tell me do u think it will b ok if i have AF when i go for the scan? My cycle might not be so predictable next month so i am a bit worried that i will be bleeding when Scan has 2 b done. I think its gonna be like a baseline scan.... but i was told it could b done at any point for cycle.... so i'm just wondering. 

Sorry for no personals, i hope i can get bk 2 being like me again soo!   

Berry xxx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Oh berry I am sorry to hear you feeling down.     If you can't manage a hol away can you do a day trip somewhere, I find that even that helps bring dh and I closer together and allows us time to chat. Have you been to see one of the counsellors? We went tog to see on at eri and, dh in particular found it really useful. Not sure if we will go again but it really helped us at the time.  

I am seriously pi**ed off today....sorry need to rant  During 2nd tx we decided to tell less people. I didn't tell a friend (she wasn't supportive first time round) and anyway was feeling a bit guilty so decided to send her an email explaining what had happened and how we told less people etc but I wanted her to know and hope she understood etc. It took quite  a lot for me to send it but I felt relieved once I had sent it. Then I received a lovely, heartfelt reply from her...so all good...until I met up with her and her family today. She did mention it once...even when she hugged me to say she was sorry...not one peep...I so wish I hadn't built up the courage to tell her..should have trusted my first instincts...can't get over that she made no comment about it...right rant over  

Need to go and calm down and stop thinking about it so I can get a good night's sleep am absolutely shattered..personals will follow tomorrow...

lots of love xx


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## Irishlady (Oct 12, 2007)

Irishlady said:


> She did mention it once...even when she hugged me to say she was sorry...not one peep...


oops meant to write 'she didn't mention it once....' 

xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi everyone, hope you are all well!
Berry you poor thing. It is so hard going through this alone. I didn't have to endure what you did, but I remember feeling less than human for a while and it is inevitable and normal that you will feel down like this. Can you book an appointment with a counsellor at the ERI, perhaps it make you feel you are doing something positive to help yourself.
It must be very hard not to feel you are supported by your DH. Perhaps he is coping with the sadness in a different way to you and you are clashing with each other. 
I agree with Irish the two of you might really benefit from even an afternoon on the beach if the weather holds. Or could you go and get a manicure or facial to treat yourself?
It's so horrible having to go through this, my heart goes out to you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though and things will look up in September when you start your next treatment.
Sending you and your DH big hugs       
Take good care of yourself!
It's a good job FF is here, have you been onto any of the other boards for miscarriage, they might help you a bit as well.

Irish I'm sorry to hear you were so upset about your friend. It does sound strange after your emails. I wonder if she didn't want to bring it up in case you didn't and was waiting to see if you wanted to talk about it. I know I find it quite tricky to know what to say to people who have experienced a loss, it's as if there aren't words and you don't want to make them feel worse.
Do you think you could email her again and explain how you feel. It sounds as if she does want to help, but may not know how.
How are you feeling now? 
Do you think it helped, just telling somebody else even in an email?
Hope you are OK today.


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## JSparrow (May 6, 2009)

Hello all..

Berry - sorry to hear that you are so down. I would echo the counselling suggestion as having had this in the past, it is really beneficial.  You want to deal with this as well as you can before you move onto your next treatment otherwise you are just storing up problems for the future...  Take your time and grieve... xx

Irish - sorry that your friend was not the most sensitive.  People that are not going through this can be hurtful without realising it.. x

Marta - how are you doing?  When are you back to the RIE?

Flash - glad you got on ok and that you can look forward to your holiday now..

Pumpkin - enjoy your hols..!

Anne - hope your computer is fixed soon...

Polly - hope you are well..

I am ok - very sore and persistent headache today and still very tired.  Back on Wednesday so hoping to move onto stims on Thursday.  Should be fine as AF is still here - day 10!  That womb lining better be under 4mm...  

xx


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## martakeithy (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi Sparrow,

I'm not sure when I'm back at the ERI. The doctor just said next week, so I presume she means this Thursday. I'll phone tomorrow morning and check.
Fingers crossed for the scan on Wednesday. If the withdrawal bleeding keeps going it should have thinned down.

I don't have any withdrawal bleeding any more, but I'm not sure if that means the lining will thin in some other way? Do you actually have to bleed away the lining?

I'm on day 10 of Buserelin and it's a month since I started the pill, if the lining hasn't gone down next time I will lie on the floor and kick my legs in the air. 

Are you taking anything for the headaches?


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## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

New home this way................................. 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=204989.new#new


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