# I'm new here! Single girl preparing for IUI...any advice please?!



## lexi26 (Feb 1, 2016)

Hello Everyone! I'm new here so I thought I introduce myself.
I'm 35, single and I am preparing to have an IUI soon. I must admit I am very excited but also terrified. Since I was 17, I wanted to be a mum. Obviously not at all cost, but by meeting the right guy and starting a family....like in an ideal world. But the right guy hasn't showed up and after watching all my friends and siblings having babies, the feeling of wanting to become a mother just grew stronger and stronger....I cannot imagine my life without a child and I'm worried, I am already a bit late... so I decided to do it alone!
Although I have great support from my family and friends, I also had lots of negative opinions, but I try not to let them discourage me.

After days of browsing and research, I have chosen a clinic in London. I am going to their open day in a few days time, so I will have more info. Exciting times! Can't believe I am actually taking the first step  

Is there anyone here with a similar life story? Please share, I'd love to hear your experiences!

For all of you in here, I'm sending lots and lots of POSITIVE energy!! We all need it  xx


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## Delphine31 (Oct 24, 2014)

Hi Lexi

I'm sailing in a very similar boat to you. 33, single, time to put my fertility first!

I've just had my first IUI at a clinic in Denmark so I am crawling my way through my first two-week-wait (Patience and me are not well-acquainted 

Do you live in London or will you be traveling there for the clinic?

I love your positive attitude. I feel exactly the same. I spent a year making the decision to do this, then the best part of a year researching (I'm a planner  but now that I've decided on my course of action I feel excited and positive about the path I've chosen to take


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

Hi
I started this journey at 37, pregnant fourth cycle at 38.
It can feel quite daunting and all encompassing. But SO worth it!
Feel free to ask any questions.


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## lexi26 (Feb 1, 2016)

Hi Delphine31, Thank you for your reply.
I live in South London, so I won't have to travel that much. I've looked into the option of clinics abroad but I found that what I would save on the price of treatment, I would probably spend on travelling and hotel expenses. 
Do you mind if I ask what made you chose Denmark?
Obviously, all clinics are different but could you tell me how long did the whole process take? ( Not the insemination...that is apparently 5 minutes ) How long is to get through all the examinations and what does the psychological assessment involve...if you had these in Denmark ?

I am sending you an immense amount of Postive Energy for a happy BFP!!! Stay positive and visualize  it works!


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## lexi26 (Feb 1, 2016)

Hi Me, Myself and I

Thank you for your reply. 
You are pregnant and that's AMAZING! So happy for you!! 
Did you have the treatment in England or abroad? 
are you still in contact with the clinic or do you only have GP appointments now?
I can imagine it can be daunting, all the unknown and the waiting...but ultimately I know I would make a bigger mistake if I didn't try, even if I'm alone  Scary journey but as you said, it must be soo worth it


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## Delphine31 (Oct 24, 2014)

Hi Lexi

Price was the initial reason I started looking at Denmark but after lots of research I decided on Denmark for definite because:
(excuse the list format of this - I've copied it directly from an email I sent to a friend)

1) they have been doing IUI using donor sperm for three decades - I believe longer than any UK clinic. Their stats in terms of success rates are good.

2) they hold no judgement against single women / gay couples etc. The clinic I am using was set up by a gay midwife

3) there are two sperm banks in Copenhagen so I am traveling to the sperm rather than it having to be shipped to the UK (as a single woman in the UK you are right at the bottom of the list for donor sperm, so the chances are that you won't get sperm from the UK sperm bank)

4) my chosen clinic will allow me to try IUI without any hormone medication (I think there are some UK clinics that will do this, but this is the reason I chose Denmark over Spain where it is all medicated)

5) Most (all?) UK clinics are closed on Sundays (some all weekend!), so if your cycle means you ovulate on a Sunday you’re stuffed. My clinic is open 365 days a year and guarantee you an appointment when you need it at only a few hours' notice. Something that upsets me when I read posts on here and on Mumsnet are the UK clinics who push IUI on a Monday (and not even early in the morning) for a woman who has had her positive OPK on a Saturday. This reduces the chances of the treatment working and adds to my belief that some UK clinics are quite happy to take your money even when they know there are reduced chances of success. 

6) for a few of the reasons above, but maybe because the Danish clinics seem to be motivated by helping women rather than being profitable businesses, it costs £600 per treatment in Denmark versus £2000 in the UK

My recent IUI treatment in Denmark cost exactly £605 (including the donor sperm and a £10 credit card fee because I didn't want to carry that much cash on me), plus £75 on flights and airport parking even though they were booked at 8pm on Sunday evening to travel Monday morning (I think having easy access to one of the airports with budget airline flights makes a huge difference to what your travel costs will be - but you're in South London and Easyjet fly to Copenhagen from Gatwick). So less than £700 all in all - less than half what treatment here would have cost. 

As for how long it takes, my process was roughly: 

April 15 - saw my GP and discussed my plans. I did this so that I could gauge whether she was supportive and because I have a medical condition for which I needed to come off the medication

late-November 15 - phoned clinic and booked consultation appointment, then went back to my GP who agreed to run many of the blood tests required by the clinic (all the STD tests, and all of the hormone tests apart from AMH), saving me hundreds of pounds!

Early December - paid £98 for private AMH test at Harley Street clinic

8th December - visited clinic in Denmark for my consultation appointment (cost of consultation £60 plus £50 on flights and parking). They offer to do these via Skype, but I wanted to see the clinic with my own eyes and have the discussion face to face. I was thoroughly grilled as to my reasons for pursuing this and they verified via this interview (that's what it felt like!) that I am in a fit state - in their words - 'physically, mentally and psycho-socially' to become pregnant and to look after a child. I wasn't worried about this as apart from my (physical) medical condition that I had declared on the form I'd filled in, I was quite sure that I was in as good a state as anyone else to do this.

The clinic recommended I have a HyCoSy as they don't like to encourage women to start spending money on IUI if their tubes might be blocked, and they demanded a letter from my GP stating that my medical condition is under control.

End of December: had HyCoSy scan (cost £400) to confirm my fallopian tubes are clear

2nd February: first IUI 

So really, it's a couple of months from starting the process to my first IUI. I had intended to have the first IUI at the start of January, but chose to put it back in case there was any dye from the HyCoSy scan remaining in my tubes. 

I really do recommend doing plenty of Googling and reading lots of the information available about this. On websites like this, you will always get people's personal views and I feel that it was important arm yourself with all the more objective information to help come to a decision (about what form of treatment to try first, which clinic to go to, whether to use contactable or anonymous sperm donor etc.).


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## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

My timescale was similar as also had to come off medication, which I started Dec, by April I started ball rolling with clinic visits, blood tests may and June, hycosy beginning of July, first iui end of July. My issues were complicated as period didn't return until April so also did opks as well so knew my body's patterns!

Hth


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## Delphine31 (Oct 24, 2014)

Good point! It's a good idea to start doing OPKs three months before you want to start treatment as having an idea when you'll ovulate is invaluable. 

Also (if you haven't already) start tracking your periods now and keep a record (all you need to know is when day 1 of your period is). My clinic asked for the dates of my last six periods. I hadn't been tracking them properly so had to go from memory on a couple of the earlier ones which isn't great. I only got away with this as they're generally quite regular.


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## djjim22 (Mar 7, 2014)

Welcome Lexi! Looks like you have already had lots of information from Delphine and Me, Myself and I. I found this website invaluable for support right from when I made the decision to start looking at treatment options, all the way through treatment and I'm now back on this site having made the decision to go for baby number two. My experiences are slightly different to the others in that I went straight to IVF due to a number of reasons but this worked for me and I was extremely lucky to become pregnant on my first cycle. Any questions, ask away. Wishing loads of luck in your journey.xxx


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Hi Lexi  

No advice regarding iui as went straight to IVF due to old age lol (40 at time of starting out) but have to say best thing I've ever done in spite of a few challenges here & there.

Wishing you loads of luck for tx


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## lexi26 (Feb 1, 2016)

Delphine31, Me, Myself and I, Djjim22 and Blondie71 thank you soo much for all your replies and info you gave me! 
Delphine31 I see your point about the cost difference, I will look into it. I've got the first visit to the clinic next week and go from there.
I've been tracking my period for the past year and a half so should be ok.
Also about 2 months ago I started taking "before pregnancy" vitamins just to get my body ready. Trying to eat healthier too although chocolate craving is still fighting bk )
I never thought it will be easy plain sailing but it's nice to know it can happen! 
I'm sure I'll have plenty more questions, so I'm sorry in advance  
Thank you girls!x


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