# IVF-wall-silence-plea-woman-going-emotional-rollercoaster-



## peppa pig (Jun 10, 2011)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3278435/Let-s-smash-IVF-wall-silence-plea-woman-going-emotional-rollercoaster-face.html

Polly can get lost I was really upset by some of the things she said.

/links


----------



## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

She obviously isn't an FF user or she wouldn't have made such comments    

Xxx


----------



## Argybargy (Mar 18, 2015)

coming from someone going through Ivf herself she should be more supportive of fellow ivfers and how they choose to get themselves through this gruelling process 

Also agree with cloudy ;-)


----------



## bombsh3ll (Apr 19, 2012)

I agree with her about breaking down the taboos about infertility, but I don't think there is any shame in seeking support from a forum for people in the same boat either. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

I wonder if the author would be so scathing about cancer or stroke patients going online to connect with others with the same condition?

B xxx


----------



## deblovescats (Jun 23, 2012)

I find her comments about fertility forums very uninformed and ignorant - she should know better. I agree that IVF should be talked about openly, but then she goes on to be insulting about online forums. If she doesn't find support that way, its no reason to insult those of us who do. There are lots of intelligent women on the forums with a lot of knowledge, if only she realised! 
I think her comments need treating with scepticism - we all know better!


----------



## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I agree ladies: a very valid point and nice to see people talk openly about it, just a shame it's clouded with negativity towards the people she is supposedly speaking on behalf of, and yet again we are portrayed in a negative light. It is a shame that more people don't speak more openly - well I do, but no one listens to me   - but with these kind of aspersions and views being cast it's hardly surprising people don't speak out  

Xxx


----------



## K jade (Aug 11, 2013)

If she has had 3 rounds of failed IVF she perhaps should come on here and get some advice because if she chooses to continue , she needs to try different tactics or do further testing for next time. 


there are woman on here with more knowledge than most doctors out there. there are woman who have gone through numerous failed cycles and finally got their dream, and these people are an inspiration to me and spur me to never give up. 
i have learnt so much from peoples stories on here and  quite frankly if i hadnt found FF id be lost.


----------



## Squiggly (Sep 20, 2013)

I have considered being more open with friends and family. I've ended up telling quite a few people on an individual basis but have stopped short of making an announcement on **.... even though part of me feels a responsibility to raise awareness about what it is like going through IVF and struggling with infertility. I think the main reason that stops me is that my husband would hate the attention and I wouldn't want people asking me whether a treatment was successful or not. A friend of mine has bravely blogged and updated her status about cancer treatment and I feel that I cannot do that as I have to keep things more private. 

However, there are people out there who are 'out' about fertility issues. I wish I could be more open, but it really isn't practical. After 2.5 years, I did tell my family. which was a huge relief. (Wanted to explain why I was having an op.) Having their support has been amazing and I would recommend it. It also takes some of the pressure off.... you don't have to be evasive or misleading when they say about wanting to be grandparents etc.

Would we be more likely to be 'out' if several of my friend 'fessed up? Perhaps. I don't know.

For now, I have taken to writing comments on ** more in the third person about how tough it is for people going through IVF, linking to articles etc. A friend who had a baby through IUI got the 'message' and contacted me, which was really nice. 

I also managed to somehow find one neighbour, 3 work colleagues and the parents of one of the children in my class (I'm a teacher) who have been through the process. So I think it is much more common than I first thought! I think that people are becoming a bit more open and risking more. I do think it would be a good cultural change, but equally everyone has a right to privacy about something that is so personal. 

I am not keen on 'baby dust' and I personally can't imagine putting a pic of an angel to represent a miscarried fetus, so I can *sort of* see her point. But if that's her opinion, she should really shut up. No one asked her. We all have our ways of getting through this, and if those things help, that's fine. I agree that she has probably found her way to some god-awful forum full of super *****y women.... and there are a few places like that out there. Shame if she hasn't had the support she needs because it's a tough process. 

I can't help but think that she sort of hates herself? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the vibe I get.


----------



## bundles (Jul 16, 2011)

Hmmmmm:

Emmacarnegie, Luton, United Kingdom, 3 days ago
I'm currently awaiting the result of our second cycle of IVF. I too find the way in which the users of the infertility forums speak really confusing not to mention creepy as hell. Although a lot of information on there has been helpful to me, the over the top not to mention unnecessary acronym usage is off putting to say the least, almost even bourgeois in a sense. It's comforting on one hand to have boards such as these to turn to when no one else can answer your questions, but on the other hand the cliquey way in which they are run creates an even bigger barrier between those going through IVF and everybody else.

Well, I would like to see if this Emmacarnegie has been on ff and point out that it's rude to slate people you take from 

Note to self : STOP reading the comments after Daily Mail articles


----------



## staceysm (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi,

I am really shocked by this article and to be honest I am struggling to have any sympathy for this lady.  

People do talk about infertility, but for me personally I am the only one in my family and close friends to have gone through fertility treatment, so how could they possibly understand and support me?

Yes, at times there are differences of opinion on this site, but the majority of people are so supportive and generally care about each other.  

My family is complete, but I still come on these boards to support and give advice to others.

I still don't quite understand the point of the article though😕.

X


----------



## Me Myself and I (Dec 30, 2012)

I'm not incensed as some of the pp are! 

I think she is right on many levels, but also think she fails to understand that not EVERYONE wants the world to know that this is what they are/have gone through and the reasons why. 

I think her comments re forums are FAIR if she had literally looked at them and not managed to get acquainted! They are full of acronyms etc. And yes for many they do prefer to connect via this method rather than in the clinics - you can just imagine it, "Hi, I'm MMI, are your tubes clear?!" And it can take a lot of courage to post initially - how many times do we read posts that say, I have been lurking... I think being a more seasoned poster we may forget this side....

I like what she is trying to do, but think sadly we are a long way from that...


----------

