# Can I carry for my wife!!



## dawnyx (Feb 9, 2012)

Hi ya 
We are hoping that someone might be able to help us... My dw and I have a baby boy who is 1 yr old. I carried with my own eggs last time and our next baby if we are lucky enough I would carry her eggs. 

We went to the hospital and told them I want to carry for my dw and my wife is  considering sharing her eggs. We "thought" it would be straight forward this time because we are paying.... We were told that a board of people have to decide if this is going to be possible 😁😁😁😁 
We were told no because they can't do it if there's no medical reasons and that it's for social reasons. We are pretty sure this isn't a hfea decision or a criteria we have to fit?!!! 
Has anyone else had this response? We are going to write again with our reasons and ask them to re consider.... Fingers x

Any help/advise would be much appreciated. 
I'm sure we can't be the first couple to want to carry this way? 
After our last fight for funding it really gets me down that there always seems to be  a fight for fertility treatment
Thanks xxx


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## dojiejo (Jul 2, 2013)

Sorry that your hospital has said no. 

It definitely can be done, I know that London's Womens Clinic do this regularly and I am sure they have information on their website. Maybe check out some other private clinics and see what they say.

Good luck.


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Is going abroad an option as you're paying anyway? pretty sure you wouldn't have issues in overseas clinics


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

btw did you ask them whats the diff between this and someone doing a DE cycle (apart from obviously it's your wifes eggs) as they'd allow you to carry DE's right?? so why not hers?


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## molly1 (Feb 14, 2014)

I have heard of couples who have done this, have you tried talking to another clinic who are more flexible? After all you are paying for this treatment so I really can't see the problem.

Good luck.x


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## dawnyx (Feb 9, 2012)

Thanks so much for replying.. 
We have thought about going to another clinic and finding out if it's possible to be treated somewhere else. I think we were hoping we could go there because all of our treatments were done there and our vials are stored there too.
We did mention about me carrying "as a surrogate" but they just keep saying there needs to be medical grounds   I'm sure they make it up as they go along. 
Looks like we need to start looking for other clinics. We are hoping to donate half of my dw eggs to help other couples and to help with the treatment price. Does any one know if private clinics do this too?? 
Thanks again xxx


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## Jam&amp;Cream (Jan 27, 2013)

I think they're making it up   Many people do this. A good friend has just fine it for the second time. I'd go to a other clinic if I were you, they sound a tad bizarre    
Best of luck to you both and congratulations on your little boy. X


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## mrsww (Sep 1, 2013)

Definitely talk to London women's clinic someone on the board successfully did a cycle as you describe earlier this year.  Maybe it's an internal thing in your clinic especially if a NHS one.  Also LWC should be able to set you up with your wife sharing half her eggs.


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## dawnyx (Feb 9, 2012)

Thanks again, at least we know it's possible now. I thought we were going mad for a minute lol 
I think we will write the letter with our views and see what they come back with but also start looking around at other clinics. We are in the midlands so I think it might be to hard to haVe treatment in london X
Good luck ladies keeping fingers x for us all


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## Jam&amp;Cream (Jan 27, 2013)

There's plenty of clinics around that area. Definitely have a look about. X


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Absolute rubbish. Sounds like your clinic haven't done this before but loads of lesbian couples do this at lots of different clinics.  It doesn't need ethics or management approval and there are no HFEA restrictions. It isn't surrogacy or donation (I like to call it egg swapping) although some of the donation processes apply e.g. in terms of recording the biological mother's details as a donor so the information is preserved for the child later.


I'd shop around and go to a clinic which does this regularly.  LWC certainly do and others too.


Loads of luck!


Natalie


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## poppy05 (Apr 10, 2006)

we had our consultation at the lister last week, and although we are doing ivf with my eggs and i'll be the one carrying, our consultant did say we could try my dw eggs in me if that was something we wanted to consider, and she could eggshare! 
so yes i would say your clinic are talking rubbish.
good luck and i hope you find a new clinic


Danni xx


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## LouisandPhoebe (Feb 2, 2006)

Go to the OFU they are brilliant.  I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my partners embryo and there were no problems at all with this.  If we want to go for number 4 I can donate eggs for my partner to carry.  

Natalie - With both our other children we had to adopt each others birth children to become the legal parent.  Has the law changed now? With baby three can we both be on the birth certificate? If we can do we need to go through the adoption process? The donor was anonymous and is the same donor for all three children.

Thank you xx


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Yes, the law changed in 2009 so you can now both go on the birth certificate if you are married/ civil partners at conception, or if you conceive at a UK clinic and sign the right forms. If you are on the birth certificate you are both legal parents and you don't need to adopt as well.

There's more information about how all this works here: http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/knowledge-centre/parenthood-after-donor-conception-lesbian-non-birth-mothers

Natalie


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## chellelauz (Jun 30, 2013)

Hey me and my partner have done partner to partner egg sharing before and are currently going again doing the same thing!  I think you would be better off going to a clinic that are use to this way of doing things xxx


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## Little_Pea (Feb 3, 2014)

My partner and I have successfully done this intra partner egg share at LWC. We are now nearly 25 weeks pregnant )
I don't know what you clinic are talking about...
It worked out pretty EXSPENSIVE compared to standard IVF but we encountered no problems what so ever xx good luck xx


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