# our adoption diary



## forever mummy one day

so i thought i'd start a diary as reading others has helped me alot recently!

my dh was diagnosed with testicular cancer when he was 20 and i was 17. they froze his sperm after the op to remove testicle but before starting chemo as it had spread to his lynph nodes. they said that there was still a possibility of having children naturally. unfortunately the cancer that had spread to his lynph nodes had started to grow again when he had a yearly ct scan and they had to operate, they said there was a 50/50 chance of him having retrograde ejaculation after his op and unfortunately he did.

we got married 4 years after this and decided to start the ball rolling with the fertility clinic. i dont know why but i always thought tht it would be iui rather than ivf as i had researched it on the internet and that seemed to be what happened in similar situations. when we were refered to our clinic we were told that icsi was our only option as the sperm was ok but not great. so we went on the waiting list and a year later commenced treatment. my fresh cycle ended with ohss so was unable to have embryo transfer and they froze all of our 13 embryos and had to wait 3 months to do a frozen cycle with ended with bfn along with the next 2 frozen cycles.

we had seriously discussed adoption and it was always something that i had wanted to do even if ivf had been successful and we couldn't face anymore negatives. so we decided not to use our further 2 free nhs cycles and move straight to adoption.

we attended two information evenings with our va and both walked out feeling elated and knew we were def doing the right thing. our first home visit with the sw went really well and she said we were excellent applicants to adopt and that if everything goes according to plan we could be approved by about april! we hope to adopt two siblings under 5.

so we are staring prep courses on fri and we are so excited aswell as being a little nervous. hoping that soon we will have the family that we have longed for and will love and cherish!


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## mavis

Hello forever mummy one day,

What a lot you have both been through.

I am really pleased for you wiht how things have gone so far, I wanted to wish you loads and loads of luck with your adoption journey.

Not long for preps : ) GOOD LUCK : ) : ) : )

mavis x


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## forever mummy one day

thankyou mavis! 
good luck to you with your adoption journey! 
xxx


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## wynnster

Hi  

So sorry to hear of your heartache over recent years    Life is so very cruel sometimes. 

Sounds like you are progressing nicely now though down the adoption path, it is such a weight lifting time isn't it when you feel like finally you're doing something you feel destined to do. 

Best of luck with your journey and I look forward to reading your diary and sharing your journey with you 

xxx


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## forever mummy one day

yes it really is! i am so much calmer and happier since starting down the adoption route. i know it is not the easy option but it just feels right.
thankyou for your kind words.
xxx


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## forever mummy one day

first prep course went really well it was aimed around child development and was really interesting and we met lots of people who were in exactly the same boat which was brill. i feel like we have started the journey properly now and i cant wait for the next prep in 2 weeks.xxx


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## Cotswold Girl

Just wanted to thank you for sharing your story and to wish you well on your journey. 

Good luck   

CG xx


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## forever mummy one day

sorry for the delay in writing this.
second prep went really well, however quite emotional at some points and many tears were shed. 
got 3rd prep on fri and then on to home study as 4th and final prep day at end of process.
looking forward to prep num 3 and then getting started on the home study. well and truly on the way to becoming mummy and daddy! cant wait! xxx


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## forever mummy one day

3rd prep course was quite a bad one (abuse and attachment) but went ok. we are now waiting to hear on wed who our social worker will be and when we can get started on home study  looking forward to next stage of the process. xxx


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## forever mummy one day

well got first home study on tuesday morning and we are really glad to be getting started (but a little nervous). not met our social worker yet but she seemed really nice on the phone. will let you know how it goes.
xxxxxx


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## mavis

HI FM,

Great you news your sw is starting next week.

Really hope it all goes well for you.

Good Luck~

mavis x


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## forever mummy one day

thankyou mavis gettin a bit nervous now. she is comin at 9 tomorrow. 
xxxxxxxxx


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## mavis

Good Luck although i am sure yuo wont need it - will be thinking of you   x


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## forever mummy one day

first home study done! went really well and she is really nice. just basic first meeting so was quite a quick one but got next one on 4th dec. i have an evening prep course on the 24th nov too.
feel like we have really started progressing now and its all going really well so far!
xxx


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## forever mummy one day

just had a phone call to tell us that the va we are using is going to shut down due to financial difficulties. i cant believe it! we are so unlucky just sat here crying and dont know whats gaing to happen now. shes comin to see us fri and hopefully will know a bit more then but think were gonna have to find a new agency. just started to really feel like we were getting somewhere, why does it always go wrong for us? i just want to be happy.
has anyone ever heard of anything like this happening before? sorry for the rant!

xxxx


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## wynnster

Oh So sorry hun    How frustrating to finally be getting somewhere in the process and have this happen.

Hopefully another agency will fastrack you to home study but like you say you'll know more on Friday.  If I was you i'd maybe have a ring round a few between now and then to see what they say, but thats me - mrs impatient!


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## forever mummy one day

thanks wynnster!
yes think i am going to ring our la tomorrow and see what they say.
xxx


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## Guest

Sorry things aren't able to progress as you hoped but hope you can skip a few hurdles with a new agency.  

The right children will come to you at the right time - it just may take a little longer than you'd hoped.  

Bop


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## Camly

hi

im sorry to hear the news on ur journey.   did u phone ur la? what did they have to say?  x x x x


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## mavis

Hi FMOD,

 Sorry to hear about your VA.

I hope they have helped you to get back on elsewhere or you are getting there.

It seems so cruel doesnt it.

I wish you lots of love and strength, and that you are going again soon,

love and   to you,

mavis x


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## forever mummy one day

well my dh phoned our current va back and they said they are going to try and transfer us over to another va but if we went with la we would most prob have to start all over again. the manager is coming to see us tom morn so hopefully will be able to find out more then. im a little reluctant to go with another va in case it happens again, but at the same time really dont want to loose the time we have already used getting to this point. hopefully things will be a lot clearer after tomorrow.
thanks for all your lovely support though we really appreciate it!
xxxxxx


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## forever mummy one day

well she has just been to see us. they are consulting with other va to try and get us transfered without having to do prep again she said she would also get in touch with some la for us and see whether they would be willing to do the same. she was really great and is really upset about the closure. they are going to stay open to feb to make sure they have all the families sorted out so hopefully it will all work out. there is one agency in particuler who have said that they may be able to take all 6 families from our prep group and possibly some of our sw aswell which sounds very promising! feeling a lot better about it today now. we are all meeting on wed night to look at other agengys further and talk to our prep group about everything.
hopefully everything will work out with only a little delay but it is a real shame about our va as they are all so wonderful!

xxxxxx


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## Pol

Goodness - of all the things you don't think will happen on an adoption journey!!! What terrible luck.  Hope it all get's sorted - I'm one of those people who believe things work out for the best, so sending you lots of positive thoughts!

Jx


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## forever mummy one day

well had some good news today, and just in time for christmas we had contacted an la and they have just rang to say they will take us on from where we left of with va. we have last prep with va on 27th jan then our new la will assign us a social worker for assessment then. fantastic news and we should only loose about a month so we are both really pleased. thanks for all your kind words and support recently it has really helped. xxxxxx


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## wynnster

Oh that is great news  

That will make your Christmas even more enjoyable


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## Camly

brill news!!  

happy christmas    x x x


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## forever mummy one day

happy christmas everyone!


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## Pol

woohoo - so pleased for you! best of luck

Jx


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## forever mummy one day

well spoke to our new la today and he has already given me the name of our new social worker so things seem to be looking up for 2010! she is going to ring next week to introduce herself. glad thats all over (hopefully). 2010 seems to be starting well for us  really hoping this is our year and for everyone else on the adoption boards! xxxx


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## Camly

brill news. look forward to hearing more. x x x


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## forever mummy one day

our new social worker has just rang and shes coming to meet us on wed morn so things are back progressing nicely now. ill let you know how it goes. she sounded lovely on the phone. xxx


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## Camly

brill news.   keep us posted.     x x x


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## forever mummy one day

we met our new social worker and she was fantastic! maybe somethings happen for a reason who knows! (easy to say that know im back on track i know). well we are looking at going to panel april at the latest may! we are sooooo happy feeling like we haven't really lost any time at all because we were expecting panel april time anyway. so things are deffinately going our way and she even mentioned a possible link, which is deffinately no where near certain, but it does give us lots of hope and encouragement which is deffinately what we need!   
xxxx


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## wynnster

FAB


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## forever mummy one day

update
well we seem to be flying through our home study and we are looking at goin to panel beginning of may. my sw is fab and we are actually enjoying the hs so far. xxx
hope alls ok with everyone!


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## Camly

brill! happy days x x x


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## forever mummy one day

yay!!!!!! approved at panel today for 2 children 0-3! we are over the moon!  we do have possible link in the pipeline but wont say too much till i know for sure. 
panel was fine and not as scary as you imagine it to be
xxxxx


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## Tarango

Congratulations to you both!!!    

Fingers crossed about your possible link too - how exciting!!!!!

enjoy your time as a couple as it could be a very short wait!!

Keep us updated when you are able to xx

love
T
xxx


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## forever mummy one day

thanks tarango just been reading your diary so happy for you and dh spike sounds just amazing! xxxxx


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## ❣Audrey

Congratulations xxx


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## forever mummy one day

well im so sorry for the very late post!

i am now the happiest luckiest mummy in the whole world! my two very beautiful baby boys are sleeping soundly after moving in 3 weeks ago and we could not be happier!!!!!!!!!!!!!! being a family is the most wonderful amazing feeling in the world!!!!!!!
they are absolutely amazing and i love them so much, they are 4 months and 15 months.

sorry it took so long to share my brill news!!!!!! xxxxx


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## Camly

awwwww!!! what lovely lovely news    many congrats mummy!! xxxx


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## ❣Audrey

Massive massive congratulations xxx


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