# Can someone please help me? Advise me, going out my mind. Sperm count 4-5



## NeedArmbands (Feb 7, 2013)

Hi to all this is my first post. I have a problem. Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for two years with no luck. Decided to go to doctors and provide a sample. He rang with the results yesterday and told me instead or being millions their were Only a few as in 4 or 5, and they were not moving at all. 
Is their any chance of me ever being able to raise my sperm count or keep the very few alive that were their?
I'm not a well off guy can't afford any medical bills so won't be able to go to any specialist for any help so do I just have to face facts that I will never have children? 
This is tearing me apart inside and out and I just need to know where I stand. We are born to reproduce and to keep our genes and species alive so if I can't have kids then what's the point in me being here?
May as well leave my misses leave the world and let a real man take her out.
Have been through some low points in my life but this has got to be the biggest kick in my useless balls ever.
Someone please help me. What can I do?


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Hello
Hang on in there.  There are lots of people on this site who have experienced this and who I am sure will be able to give you advice.  I just want to say, however, that you are still a real man (for example, man enough to post here to find out what to do), and that there are avenues open to you and your wife.  You need to see this as the start of a journey rather than the end of the road.

The first thing I would recommend is that you ask your doctor to refer you and your wife to a fertility clinic or urologist.  Assuming that you live in the UK and that neither of you has children already, you should be eligible for treatment on the NHS. There are various options open to you but you need to be seen by a specialist first, and you shouldn't have to pay for this, especially as you have already been trying for a baby for two years (which is normally one of the first criteria).

There are also things you can do yourself in the meantime to try and improve your count - including lifestyle changes, diet and supplements etc - there is loads on info on this website if you do a search. Also, counts can change from one sample to another - sometimes due to changes in your health, sometimes because the labs that do tests for GPs might not be as accurate as the labs at specialist fertility clinics.

It is always such a blow when you find that you might have fertility problems (we've all been there on FF and know what it's like) but the important thing is to find out as much as you can about what you can do next, and you have come to the right place. There is a Men's Room board on this site, and also a Male Factors board (under Diagnosis) which would probably be the best places to look first. As I said, hang on in there - and get stuck into finding out what you need to do next.


Ellie


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## angie1 (Sep 14, 2012)

Hi really sorry 2 read ur feeling so low. Just wanted 2 say what I told my hubby wen his results came back (he had 2mil spetm but none were moving n all abnormal). The main thing is 2 go thru all the tests 1st, no point beating urself up as it can b improved n also 4 Icsi they only need 1 to do the business! We r also skint (hubby jus thru bankruptcy!) but all we did was: get his n hers well man/woman tabs n various supplements (section on this site is great!) n hav an organic diet. It takes 3 months 2 renew sperm so take this time 2 try this whilst w8n. If this doesnt is still the option of tese when they extract serm. Please talk 2 ur partner, she'll appreciate it. I said 2 hubby married him not his sperm! Am typin this at wrk so got 2 go (had 2 post as reminded me of hubby's low points). Feel free 2 pm if ya need- always on here!


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## NeedArmbands (Feb 7, 2013)

Hi Ellie and thanks. 
We are in the uk. My Gp sent me to the hospital with the sample so I imagen it was a proper fertility place that the results came from. My partner already has two children from a previous relationship so I'm thinking from what you said about the nhs they wouldn't help us for free. Two of my
Previous partners did get pregnant when I was younger and they both lead to terminations, I feel this is gods way of getting me back.
I will search through the Men's boards to see what steps I can take next to try and improve things. 
Thank you so much for your time and support. What you said really hit home I need to see it as the start of a journey not the end of the road. Thank you.


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## Ivfmamma (Jun 10, 2012)

Hi, definitely get some wellmans conception tablets, also get the same tablets but female version for your wife. It will cost you around £18 a month for both lots as me & my husband take them.

Have a good read through this site & you will find lots of info on other fab supplements to take, On here I followed a story by a woman who's husband needed a mini operation on egg collection day (sperm retrieval op) because he had similar to you, but when it came to the actual day he had something like 400 sperm (were as in before he had very few like yourself) & he didn't need the op, just icsi,  all it was down to was wellmans conception tablets & that couple are having a baby now.

Are you entitled to any nhs help? 

Don't think this is the end, because with technology this is only the start. 

Your not useless either, I'd say you were pretty brave coming on a website & posting


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## Ivfmamma (Jun 10, 2012)

Just read your post you sent to Ellie, you probably wouldn't be entitled to any help as your partner has children from previous relationship, but definitely check with your pct.

Has your dr said what the next steps are? is he referring you to a specialist? 

Don't think because of the previous terminations that this is gods way of getting you back either, it doesn't work like that   if it did no murderer would ever have children or no drug addict would ever become pregnant.


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## NeedArmbands (Feb 7, 2013)

Hi ivf mamma. you said to check with my pct. I don't know what pct is! I read so many things here that don't make sence because of these cut down words. Is their anywhere on this site that shows what all the abbreviations stand for?
As for the doctor he said I had only a few 4-5sperm not 4-5million and none of them wet of any use. He then told me if I wanted more information on anything to google it! Then make an appointment back with him in a few weeks. He left me with my head up my bum really. It was the worst phonecall ever. It just left me stuck not knowing what to do. 
As useless as he was I suppose I have to give him some credit because the google search found this site and all you lovely people who have given me so much more advice.
He hasn't referred me to a specialist hasn't asked any questions about me or my lifestyle or anything he just sent me for the test then rang to say I have 5 sperm and they are all dead. I just don't know what to do.
What does icsi stand for anyone?


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## Ivfmamma (Jun 10, 2012)

ICSI stands for intra cytoplasmic sperm injection (it's just like ivf but it is were the egg is directly injected with the sperm, it is commonly used for couples when the fertility problem is male factor) 

Pct stands for primary care trust, if you google primary care trust for your area, the telephone number will come up - give them a ring & ask what there nhs funding criteria is (the pct is who deals with all the fertility funding) 


I can't believe your dr told you to google information, how unprofessional of him! I'm sure you will find out more than enough from the lovely people on here (this site is a godsend)

Get that appointment made with him, & if he can't be more reasonable or understanding on your next visit, demand to see someone else. 

I'm not totally clued up on the male factor side of things if I'm honest, as I've not been through the male issues before (female things yes!) but not male so i only know so much, but you definetly need to write a list of questions to ask the dr, hopefully someone a bit more experienced in this kind of thing can give you a heads up on exactly what you need to ask.

Good luck with everything.


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## NeedArmbands (Feb 7, 2013)

Ivfmamma thankyou so much for your time and all the information without it I would still know nothing. My partner has nothing to say, shes been about as much support as high heel made of jelly. From everything that has been said I feel the only way to actually have a baby myself is to leave my partner and start seeing someone who doesn't have kids so I can get help from the nhs. Otherwise I will never have children of my own. This is a million miles from what I really want but with no support and sitting alone for the past two days I'm wondering if we are right for eachother anyway. We agreed to both stop smoking if my results came back bad. I stopped but she is sat their still smoking away. I'm actually sat outside in the car while she is sat in the house smoking away. Iv been lay in bed all day reading and crying to myself while se sat downstairs watching telly. Last night I drove around for hours not knowing what to do, my head just in pieces.
What sort of support is that? 
Thank you all for listening and for your help


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

NeedArmbands


I am so so sorry i really am.


My dh has always had low sperm count, but it was always enough for icsi.  But then last year he did a sample that only had about 4 or 5 live sperm (not 4-5million).  We were totally beside ourselves.  The clinic advised that he did another sample to freeze about a month later.  This sperm sample was much better this time.  It was concluded that because he had been ill about 3 months earier this had affected his sperm count, as you rejenerate new sperm every 3 months.  Could this possible be the problem? can you remember being ill any time in the last 3-4 months.


Regarding your wife, maybe she is struggling to come to terms with it? maybe she just dosnt know what to say? xxxxx


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## JFizz (Oct 16, 2012)

Hi NeedArmBands, 

Saw your post and just wanted to write something, my partner also has a low sperm count, we were initially just given the results with no explanation which sent us into turmoil. It said on the results that only 1 sperm was seen in the sample so we were left thinking that we would never be able to have children and my partner was completely crushed. We got referred to the gynecologist who explained that the sperm count was actually 30 thousand, not great but 30 thousand times better than 1 and we could have ICSI. I would recommend that you go and see you gp and ask for a copy of your results, there is alot of information on here about how to read them. I terms of you saying you feel useless, I just wanted to say that I have never thought about my partner this way. This is a medical condition that you have little control over, diet and lifestyle can improve things but you never chose this. I don't see my partner as any less of a man than the day that I fell I love with him, in fact I love him more for doing everything that he possibly can for making our dream come true. I don't know your partner but she might also be struggling with the news, we found that we both dealt with things differently and it was hard to always support each other the best way we could. You both need to talk about how you feel, if you can't talk to each other find someone you can confide in, not talking drives you mad. Good luck.  

JFizz x


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## larka (Oct 8, 2012)

Hi

Just wanted to say that we are in a similar position to you. Firstly our GP was just as useless and insensitive but once we got referred to a proper fertility place everything started to get better. My husband has very similar amount of sperm as you, he has stopped drinking, stopped cycling and started taking mens supplements with zinc in but unfortunately nothing has worked. We are going to have ICSI - can't remember what it stands for but basically they take the man's sample and pick out all the best sperm and inject them straight into the egg. I'm expected to produce about 10 mature eggs and the doctors are concerned that my husband won't produce enough sperm to fertilize them all. He has produced a sample which has been frozen and the plan is for him to produce a sample on the day and if there isn't enough defrost the frozen ones and if there is still not enough he will have an operation (surgical sperm retrieval -  SSR) He felt the same as you at the beginning but we have talked about it alot and now he feels more secure about things. You need to talk to your other half as before starting treatment you both need to be on the same page as even if she has no problems (like me) she will still need to take all the drugs which don't have particularly nice side affects - you need to be able to support each other to get through it.


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## carrie lou (May 16, 2006)

Hi, I just wanted to reply because my DH and I have been through a very similar experience. My DH was also told over the phone by a useless insensitive GP that he had a zero sperm count, she even laughed as she said it.  it makes me so angry that some doctors don't seem to have any idea of the impact news like this can have on people.


Anyway, back to the point... Please don't think of yourself as useless. This is no one's fault, certainly not yours. I can only give you my own experience but being told my DH couldn't father a child didn't make me love him any less or not want to be with him, and I've never thought of him as useless. I know you are feeling really low right now but things will get better. Get your GP to refer you to a fertility specialist so that you can talk through your options. There are things that can be done. You only have to look around this site to find success stories. For us, donor sperm was the way forward and we now have a beautiful little boy. And talk to your partner; she is probably reeling from the shock too and you need to support each other and draw strength from each other.


Please hang in there. Thinking of you


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## carrie lou (May 16, 2006)

My DH has asked me to add to my post above to say that you can choose to see another GP, if you don't want to see the insensitive one again. We have moved to a new area since being told DH's diagnosis, and our new GP is wonderful.


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## Ivfmamma (Jun 10, 2012)

NeedArmbands said:


> Ivfmamma thankyou so much for your time and all the information without it I would still know nothing. My partner has nothing to say, shes been about as much support as high heel made of jelly. From everything that has been said I feel the only way to actually have a baby myself is to leave my partner and start seeing someone who doesn't have kids so I can get help from the nhs. Otherwise I will never have children of my own. This is a million miles from what I really want but with no support and sitting alone for the past two days I'm wondering if we are right for eachother anyway. We agreed to both stop smoking if my results came back bad. I stopped but she is sat their still smoking away. I'm actually sat outside in the car while she is sat in the house smoking away. Iv been lay in bed all day reading and crying to myself while se sat downstairs watching telly. Last night I drove around for hours not knowing what to do, my head just in pieces.
> What sort of support is that?
> Thank you all for listening and for your help


I think with this fertility stuff it's a two man job, ie you both have to commit, my husband sounds a bit like your wife, I stopped smoking but he continued, he sees it as I'm the one with all the problems so he doesn't have to change his ways as he has no need too, tut!

He's getting better though I must admit, he now takes his vitamins on his own accord with out me having to shove them down his neck, & is eating healthier so that's a start right? 

stopping smoking will do your fertility the world of good aswell so well done on that!

Does your wife want a child as much as you do? does she know how serious you are about it all? Do you think because she already has children she is not taking the news as bad as you have?

I know when I lost both my fallopian tubes & was told id never concieve with out ivf, my husband wasnt so interested & he see it as we were having ivf so it didn't matter, but it did matter & still does matter as that's my fertility they took away, not something I'm ever going to get back.

You need to tell your wife you need some support, maybe if she isn't understanding ask her to close her eyes & pretend for a minute she is you & ask her how she would feel if she was in the situation with no support.

Hope it all works out well for you both


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## C0nfused (Apr 13, 2007)

Welcome to FF!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

Here are a few links that I think might help you.

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Male factors ~ CLICK HERE

Complementary and Holistic Approaches - CLICK HERE

Comprehensive list of fertility supplements for men and women ~ CLICK HERE

Giving up Smoking while TTC/Pregnant ~ CLICK HERE

Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE
Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together. 
Good luck!

Jenny


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## C0nfused (Apr 13, 2007)

Hi NeedArmbands

  When you first receive a diagnosis it is really hard, and sometimes the only way forward is treatment such as ICSI/IVF. However, there are a lot of things you can do to improve your sperm count etc. As per usual stopping smoking and drinking will help as both can have damaging effects. There are supplements you can take and a healthy diet and excercise is also good. If you try these things for three to six months and then request a second semen analysis you could find the results have changed dramatically. 

I agree with others who have suggested seeing a different doctor. Also you could ask for a print out of the results (the receptionist at the surgery will be able to do that for you). That way at least you could perhaps post them in here and someone may be able to help you understand them better. I am not convinced that they meant literally 5 sperm, 5 million perhaps (average being between 20 and 40 million). 

Please check out the links I've posted above and I think you need a second opinion from a different doctor (plus a print out of the results). 

Jenny


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## NeedArmbands (Feb 7, 2013)

Hi all thanks for all your latest messages. I think that you have all said we need to talk to each other to get through it and you are right and their is nothing I want more than to have support off my partner but somewhere between my last message and this one we just had a major blow out with eachother. Here is the problem I feel she is not supporting me and she says that I always push her away with my one word answers. so in-between a few texts to eachother I thought the best way to let her know what's going on and how I feel I gave her the name of the site and my password. I just thought it was the best way for her to see how I felt. I then came home about an hour later and we had the biggest argument ever. I know I probably wrote some things that were hard for her to read and I know she will read all this but I don't mind. Think it's more the stress about the whole thing and knowing nothing about it. 

IVFMamma
To answer your questions yes my wife does want a child but I don't think it's possible for her to want a child as much as I do because she has children, if she didn't then yes she would.

After tonight's blow out I think she knows exactly how serious I am (plus she will be reading this)

I'm my eyes I have to say she has children so the news for her isn't half as bad she has always said she would have a child with me if I wanted one, but she has also told me she wants to have my child. She deffinately hasn't taken the news as bad as I have but I'm sure she understand now how much it means to me.

During the row I did find out that she had phones to get me in for another appointment for another sample so she has been helping we just haven't been talking.

COWEYES- thanks for your message. Can't remember being I'll but could find out on my doctors records to see if I was treated for anything. Maybe your right maybe she doesn't know what to say maybe she doesn't want to say the wrong thing. I'm sure we will sort things out soon we don't normally argue just stressed. 

JFIZZ- thank you for your message hopefully my doctor slightly mislead me with my results fingers crossed their may be more hope than I thought we will have to wait and see. I will ask for a copy of the results to see it in black and White. Going to start looking into my diet too. And you are right 100% right not talking drives you mad. 

LARKA- thanks for your message sorry to hear the things you tryed didn't Help his sperm count or motility, I'm going to completely change my diet and eat more healthy. Start taking vitamins minerals and everything else that is recommended, know it may not help but willing to try anything at the min. And if it has to go as far as cutting my little fellas up to extract something then that's what it will be. I really hope it all goes well for you both  

CARRIE LOU- thank you for the message I appreciate every single one. I'm pretty sure she is just like you she isn't going to love me any less she loves me unconditionally I know that it's just me feeling pretty useless but with so much information and so many story's of success like you said I'm not going to just hang my boots up I will try anything. As do using a sperm donor I don't think I would go that far. My reason for this is we have two children from her previous partner so to me we have already got two children from a donor. It's more for me to farther my own child. I bring them up as mine call them mine and love them as my own. But I wasn't their at birth they don't have my blood or my genes. And I missed out on their first years. And I didn't see my wife with a pot belly  Congratulations to you both on managing to have a beuityfull little boy   

IvfMamma- what can I say? Your brilliant such a great help so nice to talk to. I can't complain about the wife she does do everything for me and more we just have a problem opening up sometimes but she is my rock she actually saved my life. And like you she is the one always giving me my medicine when I'm I'll and making me take my heartburn tablet everyday. she is pretty perfect. And we don't argue it's just all this stress lately that caused the blow out. I'm going to start on the vitamins minerals and the healthy diet, I do eat a lot of junk food and fast food but that's just for the ease and speed of it. I grow my own veg and don't eat it   Where's the sence in that? Their are sprouts and cabbage right outside the window that I see every day. Maybe tomorrow (oh it is tomorrow) I will actually cut one down and eat it.

Thanks again to everyone for your help and support
       
And to my other half if you read this I'm sorry for shouting you know I love you xx


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