# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 6 2006



## saphy75

New Home Ladies

pam xx


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## alex28

thanks Pam.

Emcon - oh how exciting for you - theres sooooo much good news at present this really is a fab place to be.

Asking angels - i remember u from the DIUI thread as i too am a "convert"!!!! you will find loads of support over here. i moved over the adoption last september and had prep course in November and here we are approved and waiting.  Hope the prep course goes well - you have done well to not have a long wait. 

Cant remember what else was said on the last thread so hi and hope all it ok for everyone else.  We have our adoption exchange meeting on weds so am quite excited still about that.  Have decided to do a flyer on DH and me which we can give to the sw just so they remember us!!!!  photos was from a wedding in the summer so will have to explain that i dont always look that posh!!!!!


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## Mummyof2

Askingangels - welcome to you.  

Emcon - Ooooooh how exciting   

JanWelshy - hope the murmur turns out to be innocent.  I'm sure it will.  

Hi to everyone else.


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## wynnster

Hi Girls

Hope all is well with everyone

Thanks for the new home Pam  

Hi to Askingangels - Welcome and all the best with everything, so exciting at this stage isn't it  

Jan - Thinking of you hunny, such a worrying time for you - Hoping and praying everything is ok and that is doesn't affect the adoption - Have they said when the ultrasound is gong to be?  All this waiting!

Emcon - Very exciting news from you!  

Nothing from me - Well employers have had their forms to fill in this week (not come at a great time for me seeing as i had 'words' with my boss last week   ) Eeeek!

Take Care

Kim xxx


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## casey

well s/w cancelled pur initia; home visit - is this a sign of things to come - i hope not  
   
sorry don't know you all well enough for personals yet but i will try to catch up on everybodys situation 
caseyxxx


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## alex28

sorry you are feeling down casey - its so frustrating having appts cancelled.  Give her a chase very soon!!!

i had a call this pm from a friend who we met on prep course going to panel and would you believe they have been deferred as NSPCC check has not come back after 14 months!!!!

This happened to another couple whom we met on our prep course and they were at panel same time as us and deferred for this reason.  Today they went to panel again as were going in after our friends and told them that they had already been back to panel but were deferred again as check had been lost!! How atrocious is this.....this really should not be happening..........

anyway, our little adoption exchange day is tomorrow so lets hope i enjoy it as much as Barberalla did hers and lets hope her magic wears off on us too!!!


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## fiona1

Alex - Good luck tomorrow

Casey - Sorry your visit was cancelled, when we had our 1st visit the SW phoned and said he MUST see us before the 23rd, i got all excited and thought the prep course must be starting, but no, when i asked him what the rush was he told me he was leaving!!!!!! The re arranged visit got cancelled too, and in the end his manager came out and met with us. Very frustrating, but i think there is nothing we can do about it, other than grin and bear it.

No news here, met my friend today who is 6 weeks pregnant and i didn't feel upset at all, i just feel that i am 'pregnant' too, although this pregnancy could last as long as an elephants  

Hope you are all well, those of you that are due to meet your children very soon i am thinking of you.

Take Care


Fiona


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

Can't stay around long tonight.  Need to ring   my mum as she had her CT scan today and am at uni Tues - Thurs and have been set homework tonight to be used in class tomorrow  

Casey - sorry to hear they cancelled your visit today   Hope they reschedule soon 

Alex - Sending you positive vibes for tomorrow 

Jan - hope all goes well with the ultrasound    

Em - congratulations.  Glad to hear your son is really excited.  

Kimmy - hope the reference comes back ok, I am sure you will be fine  

welcome to askingangels and Jet. 

Pam - thanks for doing the new thread.

Have set myself a target of losing 19lb before Xmas.  My brother has been back for a few days before jetting off on the next leg of his round the world trip and saw the piece of paper I had written my goal on and added a comment of "bet you can't", well what an incentive to proove I can, so I lost 4.5lb last week.

Not much else going on here, really busy with work, uni, home etc and keep meaning do our list.  Will get it done before the week is through.  I promise...


Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Girls,

Thanks for the new home pam.


Just a quick note from me, we have our initial home visit on Thursday  to say i am pleased in an understatement. We sent off our application in July and i have phoned about 4 times to chase it since then and was getting a little worried.  Now i just have to keep fingers crossed they they want to start our new assesment asap and get approved for a sibing for pooh bear.

TTFN

PBMxxxx


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## Barbarella

Good luck for the adoption evening tomorrow Alex.. will pop on and see how it goes.. and hope that some of my magic rubs off on you soon.

Casey - our initial sw meeting was cancelled, and that was the only one - every other part of the process went as planned with us.

Love and luck to all.. sorry can't do more personals.. am shattered!!!  Not sleeping as I can't stop thinking about the little girl.. (still can't say "our little girl" yet...).

Cxx


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## superal

Alex - hope today goes well and who knows what just might happen, fingers crossed for you and DH! 

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Alex - hope you enjoy the exchange day  

C - can understand you not saying 'our' little girl yet, I would be the same.

PBM - hope the home visit goes well.

Casey - how annoying, hope you hear soon.

Jan - thinking of you and hoping everything goes ok.

Askingangels - welcome to the thread.  

Hi to everyone else.

No news here.  

Laine


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## alex28

Hi guys!

well exchange day went ok, to say the majority of the sw were not very helpful is an understatment particularly our own LA!!!

did not know what to expect really so went with an open mind, but 7 LA were there and they each had about 2 or 3 children they were looking to place - these were the hard ones, all either older (8 years plus) or with very severe disabilities, shortened life expectancy etc.  There were 2 girls whom we took a shine to but from talking to their sw it was expected that the girls would need a stay at home for at least 2 years and u/f we cant offer that.  Still we learnt lots of SW jargon and what "words really mean"!!!.

We have been told that we have been put on the National Register now as have been approved for 3 months so we continue to wait!!!

Hope all is well with everyone else. xx


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## everhopeful

Pooh Bears Mummy

Hello again! Long time no see   !!

Just wanted to say well done on getting your ball rolling for #2 ! I'm so pleased for you.
We had our first placements pretty close to each other didn't we? Well, we first spoke to our SW in March about re-applying and were told we'd have to wait on a waiting list! And yes, we are still there!!
We might be waiting til January before even entering a new application. It's crackers and cruel and all we would like is a sibling or two for little miss boo. She keeps saying she'd like a baby brother or sister!! 

And the daft thing is, they reckon there's so many children waiting for families and here we are all ready and waiting!! Mind you I should be grateful for a less expensive Xmas this year and make the most of the quietness (erm.... the what?!!).

Anyway, good luck, hope they rush you through quickly for a sibling for pooh bear.

Ever xx


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## Barbarella

Congrats Emcon - just seen your post on Val's thread!!!  Not long now...!!

Alex - sorry the exchange evening didn't go too well... why weren't the SW's very helpful?  Just try and see it as getting your face out there.. hopefully now they have seen you, you will stick in their minds.  Fingers crossed.

Love and luck to all....

Cxx


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## Barbarella

Thanks Laine.  Hope you have some good news soon.


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## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Ever,

Nice to hear from you Hun.  

To be honest it has been a problem for us as well. The LA that approved us for Pooh bear would not let us re apply till easter next year with a view to be at panel end of summer 07 when pooh bear is 3 to fit in with the two year age gap. I was very upset  and decided to phone round other local LA's to be met with much the same response . 

I decided to contact the LA who placed Pooh bear and they have said they will look at approving us sooner, i just hope this is the case, will find out tomorrow.We would like to be re-assessed and go to panel March/April next year so will just have to see what our initial visit brings tomorrow.

TTFN

PBMxxx


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## alex28

B - doubt they will remember us as there were literally over a hundred adopters there very very busy and thus very hard to talk to the SW, by the time it quietened down they were all packing up!  We know in our hearts that "our" children were not there today.........just reminded DH of his promise he made about going away this xmas if we did not have a placement!! mmmmmm any suggestions?


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## Mummyof2

alex - we are going to one of those evenings tonight.  We went to one about 6 months ago and it was the hard to place children being shown so I expect it will be the same tonight.  

laine - sorry to hear you have no news.  Same here.    We have almost been on the adoption path for 2 years now!    

hi to every one else


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## momo

Jennifer- Good luck at your meeting tonight.  I know how you feel about being on the adoption path for so long- although we have just been approved we started our initial enquiries in Nov 04 and then prep course in March 05 so its been almost 2 years for us too! Lets hope we get some good news very soon!

Alex- how about Prague for a christmas break? 

Hello to everyone else

Momo


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi all,

sorry your info evening wasn't what you'd hoped alex, hopefully going on the register will speed things along. Are you getting any of the BMPs or CWWs? 

will be watching all of you going for no 2 with great interest....greta idea of lookng outside your area too PBM. In hindsight i wouldn't have gone with our LA if I'd know how crap they were.

We skipped our parenting course last night, but with good excuse. We had a really poo-ey day on tuesday. It should have been great, cos we had our review, which lasted about 20 min utes, everyone happy for us to apply to the courts to adopt Boo. But as for Boo himself, as before, he kicked off as soon as i tried to sit with the SWs. Would not let me talk, and trying to drag me out of the room. Once they left he was still quite wired, so we wnet to the park to run some of hs energy out of him. Played some footie, but then during a rather energetic superman swing we managed to pull/dislocate his elbow. We were only at A+E for about 20 minutes, and there was even another child there witht he same injury, so apparently its really common in this age group, but i still felt like such a criminal. Anyway needless to say Boo didn't sllep well that night, not from pain, cos once its back in place they are fine, but all the stress of the day. so noone slept. 2 days later he seems to have calmed down again, but he still more clingy than normal......guess he thinks he might be moving on again.....poor little bugger.  

but all in all.....we're applying to the courts to adopt him now, so hopefully soon we'll have a date! And no more SW visits for a while!

sorry for the whinge, but i know you'll undestand
xxxruthie


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## fiona1

Ruthie - Sorry to hear about Boo's arm the same thing happened to my cousin shild years ago, she went to run out of mothercare and her dad grapped her, and dislocated her shoulder, bad enough on any child, but i imagine when you've adopted you feel you have something to prove.

Glad to hear he is back to normal.

Hope you get more sleep tonight 

Fiona


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## Barbarella

Alex.. that was a very different evening to ours.  There were about 10 couples at ours. Sorry you didn't find it useful, but I know the children at those evenings are usually very hard to place... otherwise they wouldn't be there.  Hope you hear something soon, it can literally happen overnight...!! 

SW rang earlier - our meeting with baby's SW has now been put back another week.  So disappointed, but suppose we should get used to this.  Anyway, she said she will try and give us more details next Tues when she comes over to discuss the fostering panel, so hopefully we'll get a name!!  She is still saying it all needs to go ahead asap... so that's quite reassuring. 

Anyway, still keeping everything crossed... 

Cxx


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## cindyp

Hi All

Asking Angels, welcome to the group.

Kimmy, let's hope your boss is big enough not hold grudges over your squabble.

Casey, I'm afraid cancelled visits are par for the course, things often seem to crop up which means they have to put you off but don't worry you will get there in the end.

Karen, well done on the weight loss, keep up the good work.  Hope your Mum's scan went well.

Laine, let's hope you get some news soon.

Alex, sorry the meet turned out to be such a disappointment.  Let's hope something comes out of the National Register.  As a place to go, I must admit to a soft spot for Paris.

Ever, quiet Xmas?  You've got a quiet toddler?  How did you manage that one?     Let's hope they don't keep you waiting too long to get another child, it is very frustrating when you're already proved adopters.

PBM, how did it go today?

Jen, hope you had a more positive exhange day than Alex.

Fiona, let's hope your "pregnancy" doesn't reach elephantine proportions   

Momo, in some ways this waiting after you're approved is the worst.  Let's hope all you approved adopters get some news soon.

Ruth, so sorry to read about Boo.  Glad to know he's feeling better.  Junior was exactly the same when my SW came around, he kept wanting 100% attention, wouldn't let me talk.  Unfortunately that's toddlers for you, think they are the centre of the universe.  Obviously because we love them so much they are the centre of ours, but it's a nuisance when they want you to prove it at akward moments.

C, sorry to hear the meet has been put back but you're right you should get used to it.  I know how disappointed I felt when Junior's freeing order was delayed 2 months.  Delays seem to be par for the course when you start down the adoption route.  Fingers crossed you get to meet soon.

Our Form F is being written up as we speak and I've just subscribed to BMP again so I can start looking around.  We've just had the spare bedroom decorated so that we can move Junior into this bigger room and leave his current room free for the new child.

Hope the weather improves and we all have a great weekend.

love
Cindy


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## Mummyof2

HI everyone,

The meet the children evening was the same as before - lots of hard to place children.  Some had autism and some were not even able to speak aged 7.  Very very sad.  So many damaged children hoping to be adopted.    Some lovely babies there but mixed race, one was 3/4 white but still had to go to mixed race couple.  Makes me cross as they were such lovely babies.  One white baby there but both parents had moderate special needs/learning difficulties so baby would be the same apparently, although perfect at the moment.  Difficult to judge I would have thought but we decided not to pursue.

Back to the waiting game then.......


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## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to pop on and say hi to everyone while Daisy is off having her nap!  All going well here for us still.  We had our contact visit with FPs on Sunday.  Just met for an hour in the park as I was worried it would be too unsettling for her if they came to our house.  She was definately very pleased to see them and I was worried it had unsettled her a bit during the following couple of days cos she was alot quieter than normal but then she came out with a bad cold yesterday so maybe that was why!  We had our 1st review on Wednesday which seemed to go well so now we just wait til December for 2nd review and then apparently we can get our papers into the Court!

Sorry I haven't got time to do personals but I have caught up on all your news and am so excited to hear about all the matches coming up.  Good luck to all those going through the process and thinking of all of you still waiting.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


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## magenta

Hi everyone,

*karen * - how did your mum's scan go?
*JillDill* - how are you coping? sending up big prayer and 'stay strong' vibes.
*JenniferF* - sorry to hear the meeting wasn't good for you. But keep strong...your child is out there and you will be a mummy some day.
*Alex * - good to know you are on the register- just a shame the meeting didn't prove as positive as you had hoped. 
*CindyP * - well done on geting your form F all done and decorating the room.
*Momo * - i am sure you will get news soon
*barbarella * - sorry to hear it has been delayed. Weirdly we seem to have a similar journey just now - waiting and waiting but knowing that our child is waiting at the end of it all.
*Ruthiebabe * - sorry to hear that Boowas unsettled. i hope he is back to his self now.
*Pooh bears Mummy* - is there any reason why they put a 2 year/3 year 'block' in place? it doesn't seem to make sense to me.
*Lainie * - i am sure you will get news soon too.

Everyone else...sorry if i have forgotten you. Big hugs all round.

Just popping on to say that our linking meeting went well BUT we won't get to go to matching panel til at least November cos the guy from the council wouldn't agree to the matching papers being sent out late for the meeting which was scheduled for next week . So we are a step closer but back to waiting again. It just seems soooo unfair. everyone agreed we would be a good match but nothing can be done til we go to matching panel and are fully 100% matched...which has now delayed everything by at least 4 weeks. this little girl has been approved for permanency for nearly a year now but with holidays, admin errors, missing paperwork etc it looks like it will be nearly Christmas til she is placed.


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## momo

Hi everyone,

Magenta-  sorry that your matching panel is delayed until November- it must be so frustrating for you- but on the plus side its not very far away and hopefully you will have your little girl home with you before christmas.

Lauren- Glad the review went well- daisy seems to have settled in very well!

Jennifer F-sorry that you didn't get much out of the meeting- hopefully you won't have to wait too much longer.

karen- hope your Mum's scan went well.  Congratulations on your weight loss- that's good going in one week!

Barbarella- sorry your meeting has been delayed- this waiting game is horrible but at least you are now so close.

Cindy P-Good luck with the form F- you sound like you've been really busy with decorating!

Hello to everyone else and hope you all have a good weekend. 9at least its stopped raining now!)

Momoxx


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## Ruthiebabe

Hi magenta and barberella...its hard to imagine that the waiting can get even harder after waiting so long for a match, but it really is so much worse when you know who your child is going to be and there are these stupid redtape barriers in your way. .....you have my sympathies, as you may remember we had loads of delays before Boo moved in. Nearly drove me mad! Hopefully there won't be too many more delays and just think.... your children will be home with you for christmas. how wonderful is that going to be!

we're off to join the library and pick up some new books. we're getting a bit sick of the ones we have. Has anyone tried to read the "nutmeg gets adopted" book to their kids. I tried to show it to Boo the other day but he point blank did not even want to look at the pictures.....thought it was odd as he really like squirrels?? 

hope it dries up for the weekend and everyone has a good one,
xxxruthie


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## Old Timer

Hello Ladies
Sorry I've not posted for a while, have been really busy trying to catch up with everything after my head cold last week, DH never thinks the housework needs doing if I'm ill!

So much is happening, need to catch up properly when I get a few minutes........

We have some news, we have our initial visit next Thursday.  The SW that is coming out is doing some sort of training so someone else is coming with her to observe.  I guess she will ask us loads of questions but if anyone can give me some ideas of what they will be asking that would be great.

Love to all
OT x


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## KarenM

Hi Girls

PBM - Hope the visit went well yesterday and that you can progress quickly for a brother or sister for Pooh Bear.

Barbarella - sorry to hear the intro's have been delayed.  Hope the SW can give you more details next week.

Alex - sorry the exchange day didn't go so well.  Hope it sparks some leads from the SW's that were there.

Pam - have posted you on your thread but Congrats again

Laine - sorry to hear you are still playing the waiting game.  

Jennifer - hope you too get some leads from the evening.

Ever - hope you are able to get on to the journey for a brother or sister for Little Miss Boo soon

Ruthie - Sorry to hear about Boo's arm.  Hope you have a better night sleep.  I used to feel so guilty even with the slightest bruise.  My two are real rough and tumble kids and are forever having knocks and scrapes - it still doesn't stop the guilt.

Cindy - hope you get a quick match and can give junior a playmate soon.  Hope the room swap goes well.  Has he chosen a theme for his room?

Lauren - hope Daisy feels better soon.  I am about to send an annual set of photos to our two's FP's.  We bumped into one set of FP's at the services when we went on holiday!!

Maggie - sorry to hear about the delays.  Hope the time flies and you can get to meet your little girl.

Old Timer - good luck for your visit.

Hi to everyone else who I've not mentioned.  Hope you are all getting on ok with your journey's.

Well I am happy today as Mum has rung to say the results of her scan say she does not have secondary elsewhere.  Its such a relief.  She will find out on Monday if she is having radiotherapy before or after surgery.  So depending upon the outcome she will either have surgery on 17/10 or 7/11.

I haven't done so well on the weight loss this week as I've been at uni and they provide full cooked dinners made with full fat ingredients.  I have behaved as best as I can with the menu options, so back to beating the bulge in earnest next week.

Bye for now
Karen x


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## Barbarella

Just wanted to say to Karen that I'm so pleased your Mum's scan was good news... hope she goes from strength to strength from now on.

I'm just about to slit my wrists now after reading about lots of delays with matching... lol.. only joking!! I don't feel any closer at the moment, as there are no guarantees at all that this little girl is going to be ours - we don't even know her name.  I can't even bring myself to think of her as ours... because it could all go pear shaped at any minute...!!  I'm worried they are going to turn round and say "actually, you're not suitable for her and we're linking her with someone else"... but that is one scenario I've not seen happen on my adoption travels, so hopefully we won't be the first.

I am hoping soooo much that this IS it for us... and that the wait will have something very precious at the end of it this time.  3rd time lucky hopefully....!  The waiting is far harder than the rest of the process... but IVF was the same... you were ok while doing all you needed to do, focusing on the dates and treatment... and then the 2ww... oh GOD the 2ww....!!!  

No pain, no gain I suppose.... lol...!!!

Love and luck to all...
Cxxx


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## Mummyof2

Karen - so very very pleased to hear that your mum does not have secondary cancer.  That is fantastic.

Hi to everyone else.


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## magenta

Barbarella,

I reckon this is more like a wait between bfp and first scan. (not that i would know but I am told that is what this would equate to).  You don't know yet how many weeks until you find out and you know there is a 'good' chance that all will be fine but it isn't 100% sure. it still sucks though doesn't it??

We should hear next week when our new panel date is.  We are hoping for late october but have been warned it could be late nov because there are problems with panels in our area and there is a 'backlog'!!!  

We have been told that once you are linked there is a 80 - 90% chance that all will go ahead so that is what we are clinging to.  So looks like there is an 80 - 90% chance we will both have little girls by Christmas.

our next stage is meeting foster carers too...but no date set as yet.

magenta xx


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## g

Thanks to everyone for your help with my 'writers block'.

  I got up early on Sun and wrote my letter. This time DH thought I'd done a good job.

  It's all ready to go in the post now. I'm soooo excited.

Have a great weekend,

G


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## cindyp

Karen, so pleased to read about your Mum, hope she gets the surgery sooner rather than later and that all goes well.

Cindy


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## superal

Karen - just wanted to add to everyone else's good wishes for your Mum, it must have been a relief to get a bit of good news after all you have been through.

Hi to everyone else, still not woke up properly yet, I've been awake since 6.30 a.m with DD, she had a bad dream and now has a headache!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Barbarella

magenta said:


> Barbarella,
> 
> I reckon this is more like a wait between bfp and first scan. (not that i would know but I am told that is what this would equate to). You don't know yet how many weeks until you find out and you know there is a 'good' chance that all will be fine but it isn't 100% sure. it still sucks though doesn't it??
> 
> We should hear next week when our new panel date is. We are hoping for late october but have been warned it could be late nov because there are problems with panels in our area and there is a 'backlog'!!!
> 
> We have been told that once you are linked there is a 80 - 90% chance that all will go ahead so that is what we are clinging to. So looks like there is an 80 - 90% chance we will both have little girls by Christmas.
> 
> our next stage is meeting foster carers too...but no date set as yet.
> 
> magenta xx


Thanks for that Magenta... 80-90% is good odds eh... much better than IVF odds.. LOL.

Am so pleased for you that things are getting closer... it's nice to go through this with someone else isn't it. I will know more on Tuesday, hopefully, as she doesn't have a freeing order yet... so SW holding back until then. Even if she tells us her name - which I didn't realise they hold back to protect you rather than the child... so you don't get too hooked if things go wrong. Pah.. some chance... we're hooked already.

Yes I agree, I do feel like I have a BFP (I am sure I feel sick in the mornings...) and it's a lovely feeling. I used to get so mad about people who used to post about worrying after their BFP... I used to think "well at least you have got one".. but I do understand it's still a worrying time, as with adoption as well. At least on this board, we all KNOW it's going to happen at some point.

Anyway, enough of my waffling... hope you get a date set soon. Will post on Tuesday with more details if I have them.

Love and luck to everyone.. thanks for the mentions and I hope all those waiting will be lucky very very soon.

Cxx


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## Lynnm

Hello

Hope you dont mind me posting - like many of you, after the IVF rollercoaster and repeated BFNs I decided to look into Adoption.  We have attended the opne evening and had a 1-2-1 with a SW and are now awaiting to go on the Preparation Group.  The agency have indicated that it will be next year - but next year starts in 3 months but I have no idea what part of next year it will be.  

Has anyone any advice on how long this usually takes?  I am so keen to get things moving.

Lynn x


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## magenta

Hi Lynnm 

Just wanted to welcome you.  Sorry I can't really help with your query.  We had to wait 6 months for our prep course but it could have been 9 months (we got lucky and got the last place).  However others have been on prep course within weeks of their meeting.  I suppose it depends how often they run courses and if there are places available on any courses in the near future.

magenta xx


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## Mummyof2

Lynn, welcome to you.  As Magenta has already said it all depends on your LA how long it takes before they send you on the preparation course.  Some LAs hold courses more regularly than others.  We went on our preparation course relatively quickly after only 4 months but we have now been plodding down the adoption trail for 2 years so, for us, it has been a long process.  

Hi to everyone else.


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## keemjay

Hi all 

karen i'm glad you have finally got some better news about your mum 

welcome asking angels and lynnm   lynn i agree with the others, how long it takes all depends on how often your LA runs prep groups..hope it comes round soon for you!

ruthie - sorry to hear about your rough day last week, hope all is well now..these things happen but it does shake you up a bit

alex - sorry the meeting wasnt as useful as hoped..how much time can you have off over xmas..if you can spare the time new zealand's nice!

barbarella and magenta - sorry to hear about all your delays, I'm frustrated for you both!

well i'm almost too scared to look at my ticker  we are swaying between excitement and $hitting ourselves. just trying not to think about it and getting my head into the primal wound as our form F said we'd read when in fact we hadnt, so thought I'd better get on with it!!

somebody else was going to panel on the 12th, who was it?

love to all

kj x


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## Pooh bears mummy

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Girls,

Will try to do a catch up whilst Pooh bear is in bed.

Asking Angels, welcome to the group.

Casey, Sorry your 1st visit got cancelled. I hope you have a new visit booked real soon.

Karen, glad your mums scan went well, don't worry about the weight, sometimes you just have to eat what is there and be good the rest of the time. I have totally lost the plot around my diet at the moment, really want to loose at stone before Xmas but we shall see, this week my excuse for eating is PMT!!!

Lanie, I hope you hear some new real soon, ring phone ring!

Alex, sorry you evening did not turn out as expected, and i would definitely plan a nice trip away for Xmas.

Ever, lets just enjoy Xmas with our little ones. I can't wait.

Fiona, that is just how I descibed my 'wait'. I hope you are luck like me andonly have to wait as long as a mouse?  

Momo, this waiting bit is soooooooooooooooo hard, i hope the phone rings for you verysoon.

Ruth, so sorry to read about Boo beingunsettle with SW and then a trip to A&E. Hope he is OK now Hun.

C, sorry to hear the meet has been delayed again, but i hope you are in for the best Xmas ever.

Cindy, thanks for the TXT, sorry it was such a long reply. So glad your from F is done. How the decorating going?


My news, visit last week did not go to plan, SW came and did not know we were hoping to go to panel by April/May next year. The next training is in Jan, and we are not guaranteed a place so she felt Aug was more realisticfor panel. I managed to stay calm whilst she was there and she said she would call me the next day after speaking to her boss who was the one who knew we wanted to be approved asap.  

When she left i felt soooooooooooooooooo down being back on this roller coaster of emotions is not nice.   

Could not face work in the morning as i was waiting for the call. When she did call back it seemed not better and i could not help crying . She said she would get her boss to call me. He then phoned back within 15min. i was still blubbing!!!!!!!  anyway we had a good long chat and he is now saying if we do get onto the Jan training we should be at panel with in 4/5 months so that is more like what we want.  

So now i am going to focus on my wonderful little man and having a fantastic Christmas, moving into our new 4 bed house and getting all ready for an exciting new year when we will re start our journey for a sibling for pooh bear.  




love
PBMxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Karen lovely to hear that your Mum has had a good result from her scan hope she is feeling well.

Keemjay How are you feeling? nervous I am not so bad at the moment but I am sure by Wednesday night I will be terrified.

PBM great that you have had good news about your panel date it is soo disheartening when they say I date that is soo far down the line, so thank goodness they have bumped it up a bit.

Laine sorry that you are still waiting I hope that phone rings soon.

Barbarella and Magenta you are soo close and it seems so far I hope you both hear some news soon and you have your girls home for xmas.

Lynnm welcome to the group, I can't help with your query either I'm afraid it just depends on your LA.

No news here just going to adoption panel on Thursday like Keemjay, not too nrevous yet but I know on  the day that I will be running to the loo every five minutes our panel meets in a lovely hotel so we are hoping to have good news and have a celebratory meal after and maybe a glass of wine . 

LOL K


----------



## keemjay

ah naoise, its YOU on thurs, couldnt remember who it was! what time is your slot? we are 2pm. nice for you to be in a hotel. ours is in a crummy old secondary school building! yes am a bit nervous but ok, just trying not to think about it to much..keeping busy as much as ai can. we had our 20 month old godson staying last night and he didnt go till 3pm so thats killed 24 hrs, tomorrows busy, must organise something for wed....
i am planning an 'open house with bubbles' at home in the evening (see still got my positive hat on!) invited friends/referees/family to pop in and have a glass of bubbles with us. know its premature and everyone knows its subject to change if the worst happens, but decided i'd feel happier withn a plan in place. trying not to think about the worst case scenario  talked to our sw and she said again we have done all we possible can and they are very positive for us...

kj x


----------



## magenta

Keemjay,
open house with bubbles sounds a wonderful plan.  

Well it looks like Thursday is going to be a big day cos my sw has just phoned to say we are going to matching panel at 1.30pm on Thursday!!!

magenta x


----------



## momo

Wow- thats fantastic news Magenta! Wishing you the very best on Thursday- sure its only a formality though!

Also- Good luck To keemjay & Naoise for your panels on Thursday.

Karen- very pleased that your mum got a good result.

Hi to everyone else!

Momo.


----------



## wynnster

This is just a quickie but wanted to say a HUGE Good Luck to everyone attending Panels on Thursday - How strange they're all the same day.......

Megenta - Wishing you all the best hun and hoping all that waiting was well worth it

KJ & Naoise - Best of Luck Girls look forward to hearing how it all goes! Great Idea re the Bubbles KJ  

PBM - Sounds like a   plan of action  

Karen - Great News about your mum  

Hello to you all

Kim xxxxx

Ps - Do you like my new piccie of my furry daughter?  It hasn't come out very well


----------



## fiona1

OMG Keemjay and Naoise all the very best for Thursday i will be thinking of you both.

Magenta - Hope Thursday runs smoothly for you too, and you have your little girl home soon.

Hi to everyone else not much happening here, just trying to sort out childcare for the Prep Course.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

wow magenta, can't believe how fast panel has been brought forward for you.....if i understood you the first time you weren't expecitng it till november! hurray!

also congrat to all you others on thursday.....should be a great celebratory day all around.

PBM......i cna't believe they are making you go on a training  course......I thought that would be one of the things you could skip second time around given you've got a 24/7 training course going on already!

Karen, good news on your mum's results. hope she recovers well and soon.

Did all of you who are fully fledged and certified parents have to pay the courts for your appication? We got the forms through today, with a request for £140. Its come at a bad time as our boiler is about to be replaced (2k to be magiced up from somewhere). I'm sure we'll scrape it together from somewhere, but i wasn't expecting it.

Boo is all back to normal now, thanks for all the repsonses. 

bye for now,
XXXRuthie


----------



## Jo

So much going on,   

Good Luck to everyone going to panel  

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## saphy75

sorry just a quickie

good luck for thursday evryone going to panel

Ruthie we had to pay £140 court costs too but we will get it back (not sure when, i must look into this)

pam xx


----------



## keemjay

omg magenta, how exciting, thats a turn up for the books eh? what time are you going? my dh is going to work in the morning so that he's occupied, i'm trying to book a friend in for a looooong doggy walk...
how exciting 3 of us being on the same day, wonder who's going to have the sorest head on fri 

kj x


----------



## Val 12

OMG Magenta I am so excited for you, I can't believe panel is sooooo soon as you weren't expecting it til November.

It will surely be just a formality as ours certainly was, the chairwoman was so lovely and made us feel so at ease. My SW says they don't usually invite you if there are any possible doubts and they aren't looking to catch you out as they want to approve you.

We get to meet our little man on Friday   and i'm sure you and dh will be feeling just as happy as me and my dh. Good luck will be thinking of you on Thursday, make sure you let us all know how it goes

Val xx


----------



## Barbarella

FAB NEWS Magenta... I love the way you nonchantly post it...   Fantastic that they've brought it forward.  It seems to have suddenly gone from you waiting and waiting to THIS IS IT !!!  Am so pleased for you and can't wait to read your news.

We're another at panel on Thursday - although not for matching, but for the fostering panel - for direct placement.  It's all a bit silly really, as we've been approved for this at the adoption panel, but they want us to do this now.  Apparently, we're the first in our LA...  

Also hoping to get a bit more info on the little girl tomorrow if her freeing order has gone through.  Looking forward to seeing SW as she's coming round at 5pm to go thru the fostering panel details. 

Busy week for us this week.

Good luck to the Thursday Panel Girls.... 

PGM... big hugs for you... hope everything works out next year for you - I too can't believe you have to do training again...  

Love and luck to all.... and thanks for the mentions. 

Cxx


----------



## superal

Magenta - that is fantastic news!!   I feel as though like so many we have walked this journey with you and it's great!!

Good luck to all those going to panel on Thursday.

val - enjoy Friday meeting you DS what an emotional day that will be, enjoy every minute, the memory will stay with you forever!!

Hi to everyone else.

No news here for us..............No news about DD BP'S.....................No news about puppy dog walking..........oh well I am busy enough as it is!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## thespouses

Well I need to say a big THANK YOU to superal for a very nice chat this afternoon - I also chatted to another nice lady who is a friend of a friend who adopted a 4-year-old a year ago (er. well. he's 4 now if you see what I mean!)

So we are very much ready to start this journey properly - I am going to ring the concurrent planning people on Wednesday afternoon all being well and see what they have to say about the distance we live from them, if not I feel like I've talked to enough people who've had a great outcome the regular way to not feel bad if they say no!

Wish me luck!

Katie


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
I am glad to be back amongst you it's been a pretty rough old few months!
There is so much to catch up on,
Magenta wow!!!! Thursday I can't believe it, how come its all been brought forward you must be over the moon.
Val, more good news I hope it goes so well for you many congratulations
C, good luck to you too for Thursday, gosh it's all happening here
KJ, your Thursday too arne't you? we will all be thinking of you
PBM, more training! how ridiculous hope it's all ok 
Karen, I have been following the news on your Mum so glad to hear things are looking good
Ruthie, glad that Boo is fine
Naoise, good luck to you for Thursday too
Laine, a big hello to you hope you are doing ok
welcome from me to Lynnm and asking angels
Casey I hope the second visit is more fruitful
Ever how are you doing?
Thanks again to you all for the lovely messages over recent times, they have helped alot.
I have alittle news we have been approached about a little one we have the forms and a photo! I wont say anymore just now as I am so scared of putting the kibosh on it all. We are due to meet littlies SW soon. This is the strangest time how much do you let your mind wander? I am trying to stay calm I am working away for a couple of days which is probably a good thing it will keep me occupied.

Love to all whatever stage you are at
JD x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi JD,

thats great news on the potential match.....you deserve some good news!  I hope I don't sound like the doom-and-gloom merchant, but can I ask if you've told the SWs about your recent berevements? Its just that I know of someone who had to put everything on hold for 6 months after a family member passed away. I'm sure it'll all be fine though....just thought it was worth mentioning it.

xxxxruthie


----------



## jilldill

Hi Ruthie,
Yes I have she knows everything and has been to our home so that isn't a problem thanks for the concern though. She actually knew about everything before she came to us with the possible link.
Love JD x


----------



## naoise

Hi everyone

Things are getting very exciting at the minute

Magenta that is fantastic news, I'm sure you are both delighted. All the best for Thursday

KJ Our panel is at 12pm and my work has just said that I can't have the morning off so I am going to have to finish work and fly up the road so I guess I am not going to have much time to get nervous. I think we are going to have a quiet celebration just the two of us plenty of romance on the cards I think 

Val enjoy meeting your ds I'm sure it will be really emotional.

JD great news about the potential match I hope everything goes through OK.

There seems to be quite a few people doing concurrent planning at the minute it seems to be the way the LA's are going these days. My dh is going to Germany next week so I am going to be at a loose end it will be really strange going to bed at night on my own. Got to go there is someone at the door.

LOL K


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Finished school early today so thought I would catch up on here while I can, Tuesday is the day I do my DPP!

Katie - You don't need to say thankyou, it was lovely to speak to you, hope our conversation helped! 

JD - Wow you must feel so excited and after everything you have been through in the last few months it was about time you had some good news.

Hello to everyone else.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## magenta

JD - what wonderful news.  Promise to keep us all updated when you meet sw etc.  Soooo happy for you to have good news.  got fingers and toees adn everything crossed that this is 'the one' for you.

magenta x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi JD....thats great. sounds like youve got a really supportive SW!

keep us updated!

xxruth


----------



## casey

Hiya everybody 

well the s/w came and was a really nice lady. we had a good chat about adoption, concurrency and long term fostering. I am ok with most of the jargon as i am a s/w ( but not in  adoption & fostering ) but dh was alit bemused at times.

We have been asked to go to an information day on Monday 16/10   which i think is really quick ! Then apparently our application may or may not be prioritised in Nivember. if not then they will look at it again in May. S/W said this is done to weed out those who are not that committed and/or is also done according to their resources.. If we are accepted in Nov then we fill in application and wait to be allocated a s/w  

I am sure that you all know this about a million times over but i feel so excited now that i know that we have taken the first step DH is less sure than me about concurrency as he worried about the effect upon dd if it did not work out 

JD - as everyone has said - what great news wishing you lots and lots of luck

Keemjay, naoise and magenta - good luck at panel on thursday

val - good luck on friday - you must be so excited 

Sorry if i have missed anyone out but i am still trying to read thru the posts and get to know you all 

love caseyxx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi all

Jill - What good news.  Fingers crossed, you deserve some good news.

We are waiting to hear about a couple of potential matches as well.  Even if one of the other couples is choosen, it is good to hear that we are not being left on the shelf, although I hope we are successful as they want to place one of the children before Christmas.

Good luck to everyone else.

Tracey


----------



## keemjay

jilldill  what fab news  ..you so deserve something good to happen after all you've been through. keep us posted

kj x


----------



## fiona1

Katie - I am doing concurrency. We go on our prep course in 2 weeks. We have to live an hour from Dover, i know it's a new thing but more LA's are starting to do concurrency. Good Luck.

Jill - Fingers crossed for your possible match, can't wait to hear more details.

Hi to everyone else, i am knackered and have just got back from Bluewater, i am Godmother on Sunday so needed a new dress £130.00 later i have one. It's so depressing when you go shopping feeling fat, anyway i had a greasy tea at TGI to make me feel thinner 

Fiona


----------



## superal

Just wanted to say hello to Tracey and hope that one of the potential matches comes your way, that would be just magical, keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you that you hear good news soon.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

Jilldill - I am so very pleased for you.  Hope all turns out well.  I am sure your dh's parents are up above looking down and guiding things along to give you and dh some happiness after this terrible time.  Hugs to you.

Tracey - lucky you, with the chance of a match.

Nothing here as per usual.  Dh is saying he feels like packing it all in as 2 years is too long to wait.  Know what he means but don't feel we can pack it in now.  It's hard trying to keep focussed with no news at all.


----------



## askingangels

Hello everyone

Thankyou for all the welcomes. Still trying to get my head round all the procedures but it seems like every LA is slightly different. 

We go to our prep group at the beg of Nov. We have completed our forms for CRB checks and completed our application. Some LAs do all this after dont they?

We have been told the process usually takes about a year from our sw. I dont know if that is right bcos some people seem to have to wait for years.

I have a question. We are going on holiday next Aug for my brothers wedding. If we are lucky enough to have a placement by then can we take the child/children with us or do we have to wait until they are legally ours (in the courts eyes)?

Sorry for going on a bit but like I said I am trying to work it all out.  

Good Luck       to everyone going to panel tomorrow. I am sure it will all go great.

Lots of love



Askingangels xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi askingangels,

well done on getting so much done so fast.....and you are right every LA has slightly different proceedures. It took us a year to get approved, and then a year to be mathced, and that varys hugely both between LAs and even from month to month within an LA. 

WRT travelling abroad we were allowed to bring our 2 year old boy (known on here as Boo) away after only a few weeks after he moved in. But others were told to wait at least 3 months before going away overnight. It'll probably also depend on whether they already have a passport (Boo did). So basically, I wouldn't worry about it too much yet, you'll be able to work it all out when you know who it is you'll be adopting

hope this is helpful,
xxruthie

PS any panel news anyone......


----------



## thespouses

Bother - just wrote a post and lost it.  Anyway I spoke to a nice SW from the concurrent placement team this afternoon who didn't completely dismiss us out of hand but said she'd need to speak to the other team (I think it's the approval team) - not quite sure if that was so she could say it was someone else's decision to decide we're too far away, or she's really not sure!  

Anyway if they say no the plan is to ring the other agency, closer to home, for an introductory chat prior (I think) to CRBs.  It's always good to have a second plan...


----------



## fiona1

Naoise, Magenta & Jill


All the very best of luck for tomorrow. I will be logging on often to get your news.

Elliot had an eye appointment today and needs glasses, he has a stigma in his right eye and will only hopfully need to wear them for a couple of years. DH and i are a bit upset, as a parent you just want your child to fit in and not have anything different that another child could take the Mickey out of. We have been hyping it up to him today telling him how cool he will look, but to me he just looks strange at the moment. I'm sure i will get use to it, and if any little boy or girl does upset him about them they'll have me and Dh to deal with   closely followed by nanna and grandad.......

Take Care

Fiona

Superal - Hope you ae ok, i take it you haven't heard anything?


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona

If your referring to have we heard anything about DD BPS then the news is still NO!!

ref your DS having to wear glasses, we felt the same way about our DD having to wear them and we very grateful that the condition she has, Drusen, is not as serious as they first thought, Drusen can often be mistaken for cancer so when you put it into prospective wearing glasses is nothing compared to her maybe loosing an eye or worse still..........don't want to think of it!

You will get use to him wearing them it does take time though and you will be amazed that kids do not take the Mickey out of them but go home and tell their Mum & Dad's that they want glasses as well.

Love
Andrea
xx

PS Katie  - would be interested to know who you spoke to and who that person is going to talk to on the other team?


----------



## keemjay

hiya 
ruthie, no panel news cos its tomorrow we all go!

just wanted to send good wishes to my thursday panel buddies Naoise, magenta and barbarella..lets hope we are having a mega celebration on here tomorrow     hope you are all keeping calm..I'm really beginning to get scared now..i really dont know how we'll cope if they say no, and no matter how positive it all feels there is a* real* chance that they could turn us down. deep breaths deep breaths.....

love to all
kj x


----------



## thespouses

superal said:


> PS Katie - would be interested to know who you spoke to and who that person is going to talk to on the other team?


It was Kathy I spoke to and she says she knows who you are (you're notorious!) but hasn't met you I don't think as she's been with them since your time; she didn't mention anyone in particular on the other team. I suggested that as long car journeys with small children are, as she says, a pain, my personal preference would be to take children in on the train (which is how my husband gets to work) as then you can actually talk to them and play with them on the way.


----------



## Barbarella

Hi Ladies

Well I have VERY positive news from the SW meeting last night.  Although the meeting with the baby's SW has been delayed again, because the freeing order went through, our SW was able to share the whole of the baby's (was called) Form E with us.  We are absolutely over the moon with her name... it is the exact name we would have chosen had we been given the choice.  In fact, I said to dh 10 mins before SW turned up, as we were joking about what names it could be, that I would LOVE a baby called XXXX.  SW turned up and said "baby's name is XXXX"... Absolutely shock, tears, feels overwhelmingly meant to be!!!

We have been told that we are the only couple being linked to her, because we are such a good match.  SW said it is uncanny how much she looks like me. 

Anyway, we have been given a mountain of info on her, and we just hope that everything goes to plan over the coming weeks.  We have been told to realisitically think about January for bringing her home, but it still could be before Xmas. 

Soooooo... that's our news.  For internet purposes, her name will be Bea (short for Beatrice, my Nan's middle name - meaning she who brings happiness).  So hoping to have some news about Bea very very soon.  

Just wanted to say a few hellos.  

JD - am over the moon you have a match - sounds like we'll be practically head to head timing wise, so you know where I am if you want to mull over the frustrations. I know what you mean about tempting fate, I'm afraid I'm already hooked and have told everyone...  

Askingangels - welcome.  Hope your process is smooth and efficient... we'll be here to share your journey.  Ours also took 2 years from start to finish (if this match all goes through). 

Keemjay - also wishing you lots of luck for tomorrow - along with Naoise and Magenta...  I'm not too bothered about mine now as I feel we have found our perfect match at the moment - but SW is insisting we go in case there are any surprises in the future!!

Good luck to Tracey as well... for the potential matches...

Such exciting times.. best of luck to all.

Love C xx


----------



## keemjay

oooh barbarella, i've got tingles all over...it all sounds so perfect. hoping little Bea is the one for you and you get to have xmas with her 

kj x


----------



## g

Good luck to everyone going to panel tomorrow.

Karen - I'm glad that you got good news.
JD- Fantastic news. You deserve it after such a hard time.
Barbarella- Wow! How wonderful.

Best wishes,
G


----------



## KarenM

Hi everyone

I haven't forgotten you but over the weekend when flitting around the boards I came across the link to Qwyzzle, and well to say I am addicted is an understatement.  Currently on level 60 out of 100.  So I have been on that as well as doing some work.

Magenta/Kim/Naoise/Barbarella - Good luck to you all for tomorrow will tune in for the news and maybe have a glass of vino for you all too. 

Barbarella - Great news on Bea (that's a lovely name too).  I must think of some internet names for my two, although Dastardly and Muttley as per my avatar might not be far wrong!!  

Val - good luck for friday's meeting  

Ruth - our LA paid never had to part with a penny.  Glad to hear Boo is getting better with his arm. 

PBM - Sorry to hear you are feeling low and messed about by the LA.  Hope you can get on the course and get moving with having a bro/sis for Pooh Bear.  Good luck with moving too.

Jill - great news on your possible match, especially after all you have been through.  

Casey - good luck for the info evening and hope you get selected in November.

Tracey - good lcuk for the matches hope one of them comes to fruition. 

Fiona - have a good day on Sunday.  My b/f's little boy has got to wear glasses, they found out this week.  They have said if it doesn't correct it within a certain time then he will have to wear a pirates patch for a while.

Jenny - I am sure a match is out there for you, please don't lose heart.   

Asking Angels - we weren't told not to take the kids away.  However as Ruth says if they have not already got a passport, it is very difficult to get one until they are legally adopted.

Andrea - hope the course is going ok and hope you get some of the news you are waiting for soon.

Hi to everyone else.  I might not be around much next week as they have told Mum that she doesn't need radiotherapy first and so surgery is booked for next Tuesday.  Better go as Who do you think you are is on in a mo and I really enjoy it.

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## struthie

Barbarella - fnatastic news,you know how happy I am for you!

Kim - good luck tomorrow - and all the other ladies going to panel


----------



## cindyp

On later than I planned and having real problems with my internet, it keeps crashing   

Karen, best of luck with your Mum's surgery on Tuesday, hope everything goes well.  Qwyzzle, is that one of the Charter games, I must have a look.

Magenta, KJ, Naoise best of luck tomorrow, looking forward to logging on tomorrow night and reading your good news whilst you are celebrating.

Barbarella, that's a good omen about Bea.  Junior had the same name that I'd picked out for a boy when I was pg and we were the only link to him.  Let's hope your adoption ends as happily as ours.    

JD, so so pleased to read your news   .  It's nice to think that your life is beginning to turn upwards after all your recent pain.  Hope the visit with the SW goes well and you can give us some more news.

Val, good luck for Friday.

Jenny, hang in there, the waiting is so hard but you've done the hard work it would be a shame to give in now.  I'm sure the right match will be there for you somewhere.

Fiona, I bet it will seem strange with Elliot's glasses but you will get used to them, I remember when my niece first got hers.  As a family we teased her slightly but nobody ever really took the mickey out of her at school because they are so commonplace.  I know what you mean about wanting your kids to fit in and not have anyone pick on them for being different.  I know I might have to tackle that when Junior starts school and people find out he's adopted.  I think the important thing is to let them know that everybody is different in some way but sometimes it's our differences that make us special.

Ruth our LA also didn't contribute to the Court fees.

Andrea, that must be so frustrating not knowing what's going on with the BP's.

PBM, have send you a PM.

Asking Angels, Katie, Casey, not posted to you before, welcome to the group.

Have started subscribing to BMP again and received the first issue yesterday.  Forgot how sad it is looking through the magazine at all these hard to place children.  Saw a lovely little baby girl in there but logisitcally she wouldn't have been a good match at the moment.

Will pop on tomorrow to read everyone's good news.

love
Cindy


----------



## KarenM

Hi Cindy

It's in Girl and Boy talk..... link attached

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=69539.0

Hope you dont get too hooked

Karen x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Morning Girls,

Good Luck to Magenta, KJ, Naoise and Barbarella for you panels today. 

Barbarella, it soundslike you are in love already, I am sooooooooooooooo pleased for you. re the name the same happened to us with pooh bear, his name was a boys name that we had picked as it is a family name. When our SW told us i just felt like you it was meant to be. I am looking forward to hearing more about Bea soon.

Cindy i have pm'd your.

JD great news about the match.

Still feeling a bit down at the moment. Sent of the official form yesterday to put our name down for the prep course in Jan.

On a more positive note we have a buyerfor our holiday cottage which means its all systems go for moving house, so I hope we will be in our new house before Christmas.

Better go as pooh bear is awake and singing.

TTFN

PBMxxxxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Doh.......got my days mixed up again! thought yesterday was thursday! Good luck today to the panel-possie for later,

XXXRuthie


----------



## fiona1

Keemjay - Sorry for not wishing you luck with everyone else my brain is  

Been shopping today for Elliots birthday (Monday) i find it a bit sad that my baby is going to be a big boy, although i tell him that even when he's 50 he will still be my baby boy  

DH and i chatted today about his glasses, we have a chromosone problem and had PGD during TX this showed up that out of 8 perfect blasts non of them were ok for tranfere, we relise that Elliot is a miracle, he was born at 28 weeks weighing 1lb 14oz, and had NO physical or learning disability, we are truely so lucky to have him, if his only 'problem' is wearing glasses then we are very lucky.

Karen, like your BF Elliot may need patching in a few months, we have done this before so aren't too worried.

Still waiting on news from everyone, hopfully you are all out celebrating.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## naoise

Well we are back from panel and we have done it, they said they were very impressed with us, and that they looking at all the trusts in Northern Ireland for possible matches  so hopefully that will mean we will get children soon, but that's just me being optimistic. We have opened a bottle of bubbly and are relaxing. Our sw rang and asked us to go on a course about attachment issues which is being taken by a clinical psychologist, so that should be interesting, 

KJ I hope all has went well for you although I am sure it has.

Barberella great news for you fingers crossed that your little one is home for Christmas.

Magenta looking forward to hearing your news.

LOL K


----------



## Sindybelle

Hi everyone and especially hi naoise,
I am from NI too and have just started out on my adoption journey. We called it a day after 2 ICSIs and we're now exploring adoption. However, we are thinking about international. From my own research so far it seems that there are problems with adoption from every country and it will take ages no matter what we do.
We have a training day on 6th November.
Any advice?
Should we be considering local instead?
S.


----------



## Ruthiebabe

CONGRATULATIONS naoise!!!

hope you children are home with you very soon,


XXXXRuthie.

Sindybelle, as a brief summary, the advantages of going local is that it takes less time, and is relative cost free (till the little blighters move in that is!  ). Overseas advantages are that you are more likely to get a younger child, although several people on here have goten matched to young ones, so not sure how reliable that fact is......good luck with whatever you decide!


----------



## keemjay

hiya 
well done naoise 
its a YES!!!!  for us too, thank goodness. we got quite a grilling tho. will fill you in later...cant hang around as dogy needs walking before the bubbles get going

hope its good news from magenta too  

thanks for all your suport guys 

kj x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

WELL DONE.....you must be so relieved and happy!

will be waitign for you next big msg telling us about you being matched!

XXRuthie

i really should do more work and less messaging!


----------



## struthie

Well done Kim,now lets hope its not long until you are matched,so so happy for you all


----------



## fiona1

Naoise + Keemjay

CONGRATULATIONS to both of you, can't wait to hear when you have been matched, have a good night celebrating.

Fiona


----------



## BunBun

to both Naoise & Keemjay


----------



## superal

CONGRATULATIONS TO naoise & Keemjay, hope your enjoying the celebrations.

Love 
Andrea
xx

PS Can't wait to log in later when I've had my hair done and see how magenta has got on!!


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Fab news Naoise and Keemjay!!!!!! just great.

Love JD xx


----------



## saphy75

Congratulaions to Naoise & Keemjay, i knew you would do it 

pam xx


----------



## magenta

Congratulations Naoise and Keemjay! .  I hope it won't be long until you are matched.

Well...i tihnk today has been the longest of my life but we are now home and they said...YES!!!!  So our little girl is now ours officially and we hope to start introductions and placement planning in early November!!!

The meeting went well and it would appear that 'bubbles'  - her nickname from the foster carer - is full of energy and, although a bit delayed, is into climbing and active play just like most 18month olds. She just sounds so adorable and we can't wait to meet her. 

To be honest we are too much in shock to celebrate but I am hoping that a few glasses of bubbly will help us get over the sheer amazement that we are now a mum and dad to be!

magenta, mr magenta and 'bubbles' (aged 18 months).


----------



## superal

Magenta & DH 

Many many congratulations..............Bubbles sounds adorable and I read your message with a tear in my eye and a little tug at my heart! 

The tear in the eye came when i read the bit about the sheer amazement that you are now a Mum & dad to be..........you sure are!!

Love Andrea
xx


----------



## fiona1

Magenta - Congratulations she'll be home before you know it.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Wow Girls,

Congratulations to Naoise, KJ and Magenta    

Naoise, let's hope the word spreads and you're matched soon.

KJ, can't wait to hear more.

Magenta, what a lovely nickname, let's hope it's not long until your new daughter comes home.

love
Cindy


----------



## maria21

hi girls
hope you dont mind me joining you all... i have just started the adoption route ..i am on my 2nd week of prep course ..the prep courses in northeren ireland last 6 weeks ie every monday..im soo soo excited but also scared .really dont know wot to expect re home study ..panel etc 
so i would love to hear any of your experiences and much much needed advice
this is my first time on the adoption route
i have had 6 icsi treatments resulting in three miscarriages ..just couldnt face anymore disappointment ...i have so much love to give so i want to give it all to a child who needs me ..
looking forward to hearing your advice and words of wisdom .. and i just want to wish each and everyone of you the best of luck with wotever stage you are at 
love maria xxx


----------



## askingangels

Congratulations     Naoise, Keemjay and Magenta.

What great news.

  enjoy your celebrations

Love 

Askingangels


----------



## shelly

Well done Naoise & Keemjay hope the waits not long.

Welcome Maria21, i am also from NI & we have been approved almost a year now. Any questions please ask. 

Congratulations Magents & DH what a christmas u will have this year.

Shelly


----------



## cindyp

Gotta share this, so funny.

Just put Junior to bed and then realised I needed a wee.  Went into the bathroom and lifted the toilet lid and nearly jumped two feet in the air. 

There was a baby frog in the toilet bowl.

Called DH to move it, Junior heard the word frog and was obviously mega curious to know what was going on.  I lied and said that it was a story about a frog and then proceeded to read him a story book.  I could hear my DH going "damn and blast" in the background, he told me later that the frog jumped out of the toilet bowl and then proceeded to spend the next five minutes hopping around our bathroom as my DH tried to catch it.

Not something you expert on a normal Thursday evening, but at least it wasn't a baby crocodile    

Cindy


----------



## thespouses

Congratulations to those who've had good news...

Not such great news for us I'm afraid - the concurrent planning agency said no, we are too far away, they do not seem to have a massively realistic idea about how to get to their offices I have to say (they seemed to think you have to go into town and out again to get to the train for us for example, when it's about 15 mins walk to the station), but it doesn't seem worth arguing.  They did say we could apply but we'd only be turned down.

So I've rung the other agency and a social worker rang me back and said the director would be in touch - the first step is an interview with her, apparently.

Does anyone know if it's possible to start the home study before the training? My colleague at work was told it's now not possible to do that, but I thought that a lot of VAs let you start the home study first, whereas LAs tend not to.

Katie


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
So much has been happening while I've been away.......

Firstly, Karen I am so pleased your Mum had some good news and I hope all goes well with surgery.

Huge CONGRATS to Magenta, Naoise & Keemjay, must be so amazing to get to this stage.

Katie, sorry about your news but good luck with the new agency.

My goodness Cindy!  What a surprise to find a baby frog in the toilet.

Sorry for not doing more personals, I really need to get my head round whos doing what and keeping my upto date.

We had our initial visit today and I have posted separately.
Will try to be a better buddy!
Love
OT x


----------



## alex28

Naoise, Keemjay - well done your approval - lets hope the wait is not a long one for you ladies.

Magenta - hurrah!!!!!!!! bet you are soooooo chuffed - well done, we knew it would not take long - what a fab xmas you are going to have. 

Best news i have read all day .


----------



## fiona1

Katie - Sorry to hear your news, it's a shame your/we're not Madonna or someone else rich and famous, then this whole process would be alot quicker and easier. Keep your chil up YOUR child is out there somewhere.

Fiona


----------



## Barbarella

FANTASTIC NEWS KEEMJAY AND NAOISE - WELL DONE.....

AND AN EXTRA SPECIAL CONGRATULATIONS FOR MAGENTA...      SOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!  Can't wait for you to meet bubbles... and hear all about it.  Such good news after all the wait you've had...

Well.... we were approved at the fostering panel for a direct placement.  They said yes while we were in the room.  Apparently, we are the first to do this in our LA, and they said we were good guinea pigs.. lol.

No more news on Bea, except that our SW spoke to Bea's SW while we were there to tell her that we were VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY keen (understatement of the year) and she said to reassure us that we are the only couple being considered for her.. which is very reassuring.. as she keeps saying that. 

So.... we just have to wait until the 20th now... for more news and a photo - be still my beating heart.

Love and luck to all... such a busy board nowadays...  

Thank you so much for the mentions...   

Love Barb xx


----------



## superal

Barbarella - just wanted to say huge congratulations on hearing such wonderful news about your DD "Bea" - will look forward to reading more especially as you are now a guinea pig!!!!! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## KarenM

Congratulations  to all those who were succesful at panel today.

Magenta - great news for you and what a Christmas you are going to have.

Cindy -  at the frog story.  

Katie - sorry to hear about your set back.  Keep your chin up

Welcome to Maria and Sindybelle

Love
Karen x


----------



## jilldill

Oh Magenta,
I am so happy for you, we have travelled this long journey together and hopefully I am not too far behind. I hope you and DH are enjoying the bubbly just great news!!!!!!!!!!!
Love JD x


----------



## sanita

Ohhhhhhh at lassssssst.  The frustration has been killing me.  I've had login problems and I've been reading all this good news and have been unable to join in.  Anyway, now it's sorted.

Keemjay - Congratulations.  After all your ups and downs, you made it.  Well done.

Naoise - Congrtulations to you too.

Magenta - Can't believe how quickly it has happened for you.  No wonder you are in shock.  Many congratulations and I look forward to hearing more about bubbles.

Barbarella - Congratulations on your fostering approval.  I hope you hear more news very soon.

Katiea - Sorry to read of your disappointment.  We are with a VA and we started HS and prep groups at the same time.

Maria21 - Welcome.  Just ask away with any questions you have.

Now I'm back I'll post again soon.


----------



## keemjay

Magenta  fab news about bubbles, you must be over the moon, and more  

naoise - hows your head this morning?

ah thanks for all the lovely messages, still over the moon here but head is hurting somewhat
my friend also got approved for their 2nd so we're going over tonight to pop some more bubbles
sorry cheating a bit here, pasting this from the IUI thread, we are just off to the beach with the dog

sooooo panel
well our sw was in the rm about 2 whole minutes b4 we got called in so they cant have asked her anything much, tho apparently she got told off for some dodgy paperwork...
it was quite intimidating, sooo many people all sat round a big table, but they were all really friendly and introduced themselves
questions they asked us were
how we found the process..answer:it was fab... barrel of laughs, no not really, said we'd found it 'interesting' they all laughed!
whats our opinion on conventional medicine/vaccinations/doctors - obviuolsy cos our forms mention our healthy organic lifestyle they had an assumption that we were into newage healing or something 
what my typical weekday was and how did i think it would change?
how dh would manage his working week so he could be around more
what we have learnt about adoption from my friend who has adopted
what was dh's realtionship with his uncle and how did we end up storing his stuff in our loft (dh's nan died while uncle was in prison and the house had to be sold and as he lived there all his stuff got divided up for storage between the family and as we'd just moved house we had an empty loft..we re-located it several months ago to dh's parents loft...)
how would tell a child about the risk of uncle and the situation..that was hard but manged to ramble sufficiently!
think that was it..we were in for about 20 mins i think, bit of a blur, i was shaking when i came out
they must have all said yes immediately cos no sooner as we had sat down outside the guy came out and said 'its a yes congratulations' then we all just burst into tears
apparently the only negative thing they said to our sw was the family bk was too heavy for a small child to hold  i mean HONESTLY they have to pick at something eh? its not that heavy but i can see a toddler might have trouble manoevering it..but then i would expect someone to be reding it TO the child so therefore holding...

right must fly


----------



## Emcon

Hi to all

Sorry waiting for Molly’s FM to bring her to us so will do as many personals as I can before they arrive, needed to log on and see how you are all doing!

Karen – Had to just say was really pleased to hear your mum’s scan went well.

Magenta –  Congrats, Bubbles sounds lovely, hope intro’s start soon.

Keemjay – Fantastic news, your journey has been so long and hard, I am thrilled they were able to see what good parents you will be!!!

Nacoise – Congratulations, well done, you are now over that first hurdle, hope you don’t have to wait tooo long! 

Barbarella – Fab news, our DD’s name is one I would have liked but DH was never keen, so quite nice to get what I want for a change!

Val – Congrats, if I haven’t said it before, meeting Molly for the first time was soooo exciting, we cannot wait for her to move in now so that we can start to have some normality back in our lives.

JD – Fab news on a potential match, you deserve some good news!

Tracey – Anymore news yet?

Jennifer – sorry to hear you still have no news, I understand how your DH feels, we felt like that too, we were one of the first on our prep course to go to panel but one of the last to be matched, hang on in there it will be your time soon, they will not want to loose two experienced parents like you, here’s hoping you get that call soon!!!

Molly is lovely, we feel really privileged that we are gonna be her mummy and daddy,  we are all already in love with her, our DS thinks she is cool, I think like us he cannot wait for it to be just the  4 of us, her FM is leaving her with us this afternoon so we are all looking forward to that, our intros have been planned over 9 days but Molly seems to be settling really well to us, we feel 9 days too long but FM says she is pleased that it is over a longer period (normally only 5 days) as it is giving her time to adjust, sorry this will sound harsh but surely if Molly is OK that is all that really matters and dragging out intros is not going to help her, she crys to come with us when we leave her now which is hard, we cannot believe how tiring intros are, trying to keep Foster family happy doesn’t help, which really I know we should not concern ourselves with but they have played such an important part in Molly’s life so far, my DH just keeps saying not much longer, Molly is going to move in next Wednesday and I know it isn’t much longer, SW says we could moving in date forward by FM not happy to do this because it will cut short her time with Molly, we are having meeting today, so it will be interesting to see outcome!


Sorry to all those I have missed, hope you are all doing ok.

Take care

Em


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hiya,

barberella, congrats on the approval....hopefully won't be too long before Bea is home.

Emcon, we had a lot of trouble with Boo's FPs. Our intros went over 2 weeks and they didnt think that was long enough! Unfortunatley their way of trying to get it extended was to try and undermine us. They did things like had loads of kids around 2 nights when we were supposed to be putting Boo to bed, so he wouldnt settle. Then because DH was late on one occasion they said they didn't think he was committed.  In the end the SWs agreed with us that this was their problems of letting go of him and not a problem with us. But you are totally right.....it should be the childrens needs that are being met not the FPs. We had a meeting and made our feeling very clear on this point so don't be afraid to make your feelings clear on this later.....good luck and let us know how it goes,

XXRuth


----------



## wynnster

Hi Girls

Such a positive Thread at the moment   Lovely to read everyones stories 

Em - I hope things are sorted at the meeting, that must be so hard if Molly's crying when you leave   I hope if it is Wednesday that she comes home, that it comes round quickly.  It must be very very hard for fp's too but agree it has to all be done in the childs interests.

Barberlla - Hope Bea is home soon  

Magenta - Wooo Hooo - Hope you soon get over the shock and enjoy those Bubbles!

Keemjay - So so chuffed for you hunny - hope its not long before there's a match  

Nacoise- Well done! Hope the wait isn't too liong for you either.

JD - Hope things are ok with you and you dont have to wait too long either

Cindy - Hope Kermit was ok   Dare I ask how that got there?

Katie  - Sory to hear your news, hope you dont' have to wait too long for the interview.  Is there any way their decision could be overturned?

Maria - Hi - Good luck with the rest of your prep course  

Hello to everyone else too (too many to mention you all!!!) Hope you're all ok and are progressing nicely along your journey's  

I spoke to SW beginning of the week and was told that all our dox seem to be in order, CRB back and all references etc, next step will be Prep course but they have one starting in a few weeks which is full so will have to go on the next one, she did say we're top of the list for it but it's not going to be until Feb possibly March 2007!  I was a bit upset at first but realistically we'll have the new house to decorate and xmas to deal with in the mean time so maybe it's a blessing in disguise (see still being   )

Anyway thats all Folks

Kim xxxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Congratulations Naoise and Keemjay and magenta, mr magenta and 'bubbles' and Barbarella. WOW what a lovely long list  

Karen - very glad to hear about your mum.

Cindy - what a funny story about the frog.  We get lots in our garden as 8 years ago there used to be a pond and they keep coming back.  Luckily I like frogs.

No news here but I have applied for 3 children in today's Children Who Wait (along with 60 million others I expect!).

Bye for now


----------



## momo

Congratulations to keemjay & Naoise on your appreovals- hope you don't have long to wait for a match!

Magenta & Barbarella - Hope its not too long before you have Bubbles & Bea home with you!  I can only imagine how you must both be feeling- bet there are no words to describe it!

Cindy- thats hilarious about the frog- how funny!!

JenniferF- hope you have some luck with the 3 you have applied for.

kimmy- Sorry you ahve to wait so long for your prep course- hopefully your homestudy will start soon afterwards though.

Emcon- hope you have a nice day with Molly- bet you can't wait until next weds!

Maria -good luck with the prep course.

No news- other than we are off to Florence for the weekend.

Hi to everyone else and have a lovely weekend.

Momox


----------



## Boomerang girl

girls, flying visit and sorry i have been absent- mum and dad are over from aus so things are hectic to say the least! just noticed about barbarella and magenta- great news well done!!!!

our court hearing was today, so now little strawberry is legally ours hurrah! christening this weekend. love to all, catch up properly soon

boomer

xx


----------



## Ange K

Just wanted to say congratulations to Naoise, Keemjay and Magenta - how exciting, especially for you, Magenta, knowing that you've got your 'Bubbles'!! Got quite teary when I read your post!

Just as update from me - we're going to panel on 28 November. Sorry I've not been posting but I have been lurking in the background reading everyone's posts!

Ange x


----------



## superal

Boomer - congratulations on little strawberry becoming legally yours today and best luck and good wishes for her christening.....your going to be very busy and very drunk with all this celebrating!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Awww Boomer... that came round quickly... can remember when you had just been matched with Strawbs... 

Very best wishes for your Christening this weekend.  Have lots of fun and congratulations.

Thanks to everyone for kind words and wishes about our little   am still on 

Love C x


----------



## thespouses

Well we are away for the weekend for an old friend's wedding - but just to say the agency director rang me back and we have our first interview next Friday! seems ver soon!


----------



## struthie

Ange - good luck with panel - you kept that quiet!


----------



## superal

KATIE - THAT IS GREAT NEWS!!

BARBARELLA - GUESS WHAT I AM LISTENING TO WHILST I DO THE HOUSE WORK!! 

TALKING OF HOUSE WORK - BETTER GET ON WITH IT.


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just popped on briefly before I settled down for my first glass of wine of the evening now Daisy is tucked up in bed!

Can't believe how much fantastic news is on here right now so just wanted to say HUGE, HUGE, HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to:-

Magenta - for your match - you deserve this sooo much, so very happy for you.

KJ & Naoise on your approvals - heres hoping you get matched very, very soon.

Boomer - congrats on Strawb becoming legally yours.  Hope the Christening goes well.

Also just a quickie to Em - Our FP's sw wanted to drag our intros on for 10 days which we thought was far too long as she was settling with us so well.  Anyway when we had our intros review on day 6 it was agreed that she could move in with us the following day!  So you never know ...

Lots of love to everyone.
Lauren xxx


----------



## everhopeful

CONGRATS TO BOOMER AND DH....

ON LEGALLY ADOPTING STRAWBERRY! LIKE SHE WASN'T YOURS ALREADY!!!
IT'S NICE TO GET ALL THE BUFT OUT OF THE WAY THOUGH ISN'T IT??!

GOOD LUCK WITH THE CHRISTENING, HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY!

XX


----------



## Val 12

Hi everyone,

what great news for everyone at the moment    

Congrats to Naoise and Keemjay, hope you get matched soon

Magenta: Congrats on your wonderful news, bet you can't wait to meet Bubbles

Barbarella: hope things happen soon for you too with baby Bea

Well we just got home last night after meeting our little boy on Friday. He's sooooooooooo adorable, we can't believe how lucky we are to have him as our son  
He was so friendly and smiley with us both from the moment we walked in. He's particularly fond of dh and couldn't take his eyes off him so I think he's going to be a daddy's boy. His FC is single so I don't think he's used to a male role model in his life so that may explain his fascination with dh. He wasn't too keen on giving us a cuddle when we left yesterday so I had to not take it to heart. 

But then I was still wondering 'does he like me? will he fret for his FC? will I be a good mother?' Are these thoughts normal? Dh seems so laid back with everything and i'm so excited but can't seem to relax. There's a million questions going round in my head and I feel like I have a million and one things to do today.

We go down with dd tomorrow and she is just so chuffed that she is getting a brother at long last. I'm worried she's going to feel left out but she says she just cannot wait to meet him and not to worry about her. We've included her throughout the whole adoption process so she's been fine so far. She's 13 now so seems mature enough to cope with the change but that still doesn't stop me from worrying about any potential teenage strops    

Well better get in the shower and get sorted, so much to do today,

Val xx


----------



## magenta

Oh Val...sitting here in purple puddles at your story  . How wonderful! Gosh I can't begin to imagine what it will be like when we meet our wee girl but I certainly have the same thoughts, hopes and fear as you in my head already (and we don't meet her til November)!! I am sure he will be daddy *AND* mummys boy once he gets to know you both and settle in.

I am happy to hear that your daughter is also excited about meeting her brother. I am sure there will be 'some' sibling rivalry but surely that is normal and she knows how much you want this wee boy. I think becoming a big sisiter at 13 is excellent

We have our placement meeting on 1st November and they hope to start introductions pretty much straight after that so we are getting our family book together this weekend ready to be sent to foster carers so that they can start showing her the pictures.


----------



## Suzie

wow just popping by to say  

 to Keemjay, magneta , Naoise and Barbarella!   

what fab news for you all 

love to all
suzie xx


----------



## thespouses

We saw my mother at the weekend and told here about the whole idea - she is being incredibly negative about it - I've just written a really long post about this but I think I will put all the details on my blog (click on the little world) so won't go into details here.  But it's a bit depressing - and I'm not entirely sure she'll find it that easy to come round to the idea if she has any feeling that there is anything "wrong" with our children.  Basically I think she only wants to have grandchildren who are genetically related to her - not because of "family feeling" or anything but because otherwise they will be inferior.


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

Hope you are all well, just a quickie as i have 27 five year olds this afternoon, so i need to get party bags done etc, My baby boy is 5 today. The years have flown and i'm always a little sad on his birthday, the age gap between him and no 2 is growing.

Speak soon

Fiona


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Really nice to come back from holiday to some lovely news  

Karen - so pleased to hear about your mum.

Cindy - loved the frog story  

Katie - sorry to hear you have had a set back.

Kimmy - February will soon come round, as you say you have lots to keep you occupied.

Alex, Jo & Jan - hi, how's things?

Maria, Lynn & Sindybelle - welcome to the forum.  Good luck with your adoprion journey.

Jill & Tracey - great news on the potential matches.  Everything crossed for you.

Magenta & C - congrats to you both on your dd's.  Bea & Bubbles will have fantastic mummies.  Loved reading your news.

Naoise & Keemjay - Well done on passing panel, hope you don't wait too long for a mathc.

Ange - hope panel goes well for you.

Val - hope everything goes well for you today.

Jennifer - know how you feel.  Try to stay   I 'm sure you will hear when you least expect to   

Boomer - congrats on becoming Strawberrys legal mummy.

Em - glad things are going well with Molly.

Sanita - it's horrible when you can't get on line, glad your pooter is ok now.

Hi to anyone I missed.

Had a lovely, relaxing holiday in Mallorca.  Came back to a  message from our sw.  She is visiting us on Monday for a catch up.  

Laine


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona - hope today has gone well for your DS 5th birthday.  Try not to think about the age gap to much between your children, there is 8 years between mine! 

Hi Laine - your SW coming to visit sounds promising it would be really good to add you to the list of people who have been matched wouldn't it?  let us know how things go.

Hi to everyone else, hope your all OK, I'm off to study now for tomorrow, my DPP!

love
Andrea
xx


----------



## alex28

blimey loads to catch up on.....will post longer at some point

but well done to those who went to matching panel very recently, really delighted for you all. xxx

i had a bit of chat with our SW today as she said we would not be going on the National Register until 6 months had expired as she did not want to be deluged with phone calls from all directions!! her words.  I explained that i understood why they want to keep us for matching within our LA but surely its whats in our interests that counts as well?  She said will be speak to "her in charge" and go from there.

In the meantime we have some course to go on in the next month or so, Attachment and Life Story work which all come in handy.  We were also told that our enthusiam to go on these course would help towards getitng us a match.  Oh neasrly forgot she also said that our Form F had been requested by two SW from the consortium day we went to but it was the SW's of the 2 siblings groups that we were interested in but they were a little too old.  Good to know that the sw seemed interested though and nice of our SW to let us know, it just makes you think that things are happening albeit slowly.  We gotg on very well with one lady and she was actually the FC of the 2 littlies so knew them inside out.  

anyway, hope you are all ok and for the other waiters, our time will come. xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Alex, glad to hear things are starting to move for you
Fiona, happy birthday to your DS
Laine, hope the SW's visit is a fruitful one good to hear you had a good holiday
Andrea hope you and yours are all ok
Karen, how are you, glad to hear things are going well for your Mum
Cindy, you did make me laugh with the frog story!!!
Maria, Lynn and Sindybelle welcome to you all and good luck with your journeys
Tracey, any more news for you?
Naoise and KJ have things calmed down for you yet?
Boomer how are you and Strawbs?
Em, how is the lovely Molly doing?
Katiea, sorry to hear how your news has been received keep writing here you will get lots of support, take care
Lauren how is Daisy doing?
Magenta, speak later

Hello to all those I have missed. I have sent my forms in to SW for this possible link, fingers crossed they are ok. We are meeting littlies SW soon!!!!!! 
Love to all JD xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

i'll miss the chat night unfortunately as i'll be back home for my BF's wedding.....can't wait!

I've a quick question for any of you who have kids going through or having gone through potty training. Boo often gets a sore bottom, and i'm assuming its from it not being wiped properly after his poo. I usually use a babywipe to be sure, but as he's in nursery a few mornings now I'm not sure what happens there......this is sounding stupid even as i write it, but do you think i could aks them to wipe his bottom properly.....or any other thoughts/advice. Maybe if i bring a pack of wipes in for them to use?? sorry, i know this probably sounds pathetic, but I'm really crap at asking people to do thigns, especially when I'm paying them for some reason?? 

xxxruthie


----------



## cindyp

Hi All

So much news to catch up on.

Jen, I can understand your frustrations, it's been such a long wait but hang in there.  Like Em says they won't want to lose two experienced parents and hopefully the SWs for the children in CWW will realise what a good couple you are.

Sanita, glad you've got your puter problems sorted out.

KJ, big book, that sounds like nit picking to me but I suppose they feel they have to say something to earn their pennies.

Em, I know you want Molly with you asap but this could be the last time FM gets to see her and you will have her for the rest of your life.   Hopefully the SW's will realise what is best for her and she'll soon be home with you and we look forward to hearing your stories of your new family life  

Kim, pleased to see you're not letting the wait for the prep course upset you too much.  Speaking from experience I think you will find the decorating a lot easier without the extra distractions.

Momo, I've always wanted to go to Florence so I'm full of envy, hope you had a lovely time.
Kylie, congratulations on getting that final piece of paper to say that Strawberry is legally yours.  Hope you had a good celebration.

Ange, best of luck for your panel, not long to go.

Val, hope the intros are still going well and that DD enjoyed her first meet.  I know you've read my story so you know that all those questions you were asking are perfectly normal.  As a woman it is easy to feel a bit put out when they go for the DH first instead of you but I think it's a bit of a boy thing.

Magenta, less than three weeks to go, you must be so excited.

Katie, sorry to read about your Mum's reaction.  Unfortunately some people can be a bit blinkered.  We haven't spoken to my MIL for 3 years but I think she would have been the same.  She never totally excepted my DH marrying me because I'm only 75% white.  You have to do what's right for you and not for your family.  I hope for your sake she can come round.

Fiona, 27 five year olds, are you mad     Seriously I hope the day went well and hopefully he will have a good present soon in the form of a baby brother or sister.

Laine, glad you had a nice holiday, could do with a bit of that Mallorcan sunshine myself.  Hope the catch up with the SW went well.

Andrea, hope the study went well.

Alex, it's encouraging that SW's were interested in you, hopefully there will soon be one that wants to take things further.

JD, looking forward to hearing more about this "littlie".

Well, according to my friend the frog may not have been a frog but a toad.  Apparently frogs are green and toads are brown and this was definitely brown (I won't tell you what I thought it was before I saw it properly  ).  Although I live in the country now I know nothing about these things.  My theory is that it hopped in when I left the front door open whilst DS was playing in the garden.  Obviously it was a frog/toad of taste who wanted to inspect my newly decorated bathroom and new bathroom suite.

Our Form F has been completed and submitted and our SW is putting us forward to go to panel on 1st November so only a couple of weeks for us to go.

Apologies to anyone I've not said hello to, hope you are all well.

love
Cindy


----------



## cindyp

Hi Ruth,

You were obviously posting at the same time as me.  You are perfectly in your right to point out to them that Boo has been coming home with a sore bottom.  Do they provide their own wipes?  He could be allergic to them.  Are they using any cream on his bottom?  At our nursery you are supposed to supply the wipes so that the children only have what they are used to.  Every child has their own basket at the nursery with their individual wipes/nappies/cream that belongs only to them.

I know you can feel uncomfortable about the risk of being labelled a fussy mother (I used to feel like that every time I took DS to the doctors) but the fact is you are paying for proper childcare and you should be happy that you are receiving that.

Hope you get it sorted out.

Cindy


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

I hope you don't mind me butting in but my DH and I are looking into the possibility of becoming parents to an adopted child.  We are attending a carer preparatory group this Saturday (it runs for 2 full Saturdays and two midweek evenings).  I am trying to follow everyones news here and most people seem to be much, much further in their journey and am not sure if I am too early to be posting.

We are both pretty excited but nervous about the whole process, if anyone has any tips or just some good wholesome advice then please let us know.  It looks like there is an agreement not to mention some information e.g. proper child's names, possible location.  I think this is probably due to confidentiality and protecting the little one - totally understandable.  Is there anything else I should be aware of when posting here?

Congratulations to all those have managed to get to panel stage and who have been matched.  How wonderful for you all.  Hello to everyone else and I look forward to getting to know you all in time.

Lots of love
Misty C
xx


----------



## sanita

Hello and welcome Misty C.  No you are certainly not to early to be posting here.  I started posting here when adoption was just a niggling thought at the back of my mind.  Everyone made me very welcome too.  I am not yet approved so don't have much experience to share, but there are lots of very experienced people who post here who always give good advise.  The folks here are always very positive and supportive too.  Look forward to hearing more from you.

Sanita


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## thespouses

Hello all, well we are getting a bit nervous about our initial interview on Friday - I'm sure it will be fine!

Just wanted to say I took my blog link down partly because it's really meant as a diary rather than a newsletter - but if anyone wants to read it please do PM me and I'll give you the link - I'm sure you are all lovely people!


----------



## fiona1

I SURVIVED

27 kids on Monday then 12 on Tuesday. If i have to look at another cheese and pickle or egg sarnie i'll be sick.

Elliots birthday was fab, but i was knackered and in bed for 8.30 last night. He got his glasses today and looks very smart. I will post a photo of him within the next few days.

We are off to our prep course on Mon and Tues next week, then on wed off to Spain, get back Sunday ready for the prep course the following Mon and Tues, life is busy.

Once we have been allocated a sw i will change my profile and remove his pic. Saw a new born baby at school today and said to DS "wouldn't it be nice to look after a baby that young"  we try to chat about fostering and adoption very openly with him, so that he has lots of time to get use to the idea.

Hope you are all well, so much has happened on these boards lately.

I can't make it tomorrow night, i am off to Brighton for the night clubbing am i   one of my friends likes to stay out till the early hours while i like to be in bed with my cup of tea by 10.30, also i only drink 3 times a year ish as i'm always sick   

I went into the chat room tonight then realised i get the wrong day  

I'm off now take care and have a goog chat night, think of me  

Fiona


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Just a quick hello as hopefully a few of us will be chatting tomorrow. 
Well done Fiona!!! what a sterling effort 27 kids!
Katia, good luck for friday I am sure you will be fine
Misty c, welcome to the board
Hi to everyone else love JD x


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## jan welshy

Hi girls. Hope you are all well.

Just got heart scan results and aLL IS JUST FINE. Hopefully full steam ahead again now.
Love
WELSHYXXXXX


----------



## keemjay

hi all

jan thats great news, what a relief 

welcome misty c... its not too soon to post, there are penty just starting out like you...in terms of privacy you just need to be sensible..,most of us dont use real names or put our locations, or put photos...

ruthie - i agree with cindy, you are perfectly entitled to mentions boo's sore bum..its basic hygiene..DO NOT feel like you are being fussy...

fiona1 - well done on the parties 

katiea - youre probably busy polishing your house  good luck for your interview tomoz

jill- sounds exciting your end  

its quite exciting here..we were contacted yesterday about 2 little girls..apparently someone at panel flagged up us and them for a match..am gobsmacked to be contacted so soon! their form E's arrived this morning and we are meeting our sw tomorrow. am confused about my initial feelings..i thought i would think yes or no staright away but i'm not sure..i can feel this part of the process being harder than i thought 

looking forward to chat later..hoping i can actually get in this time 

kj x


----------



## thespouses

Wow Kemjay that's exciting!

Fortunately given the state of our house the interview is at their offices! We have actually just started having a cleaner for a few hours fortnightly (while we can afford it as have no extra mouths to feed!) so before our first visit I'll have to make sure she comes!


----------



## superal

Just wanted  to say what exciting news kj on your potential match to 2 little ones.  Let us know more when you can & don't worry about the "feeling" thing, it some times takes a while to hit you as you've waited so long for this moment.

I'm sure when you have found out more and seen photographs you will get the "feeling"

Love
& Best wishes

Andrea
xx


----------



## struthie

Kim - thats great news,I'm sure you will know whats best once you have seen your sw,good luck!


----------



## jilldill

Wow KJ!!!!!!
This sounds very exciting, tell all as soon as you can.
Love JD x


----------



## Mummyof2

kj - great news  

jilldill - great news re u as well  

katie - good luck tomorrow.


----------



## Val 12

Hi Everyone

KJ: what good news for you. I think you either have that gut feeling or you don't. We turned down 2 possible matches before and I felt terrible but it just didn't feel 'right' and thought it would go against us but it obviously didn't because we've got our little boy   

dh has started to refer to our little boy as 'sunshine' because he is like a ray of sunshine in our lives, so i'll call him 'sunny' on here.

Our intros seem to be going really well although we are exhausted with all the travelling up and down the country. Sunny stayed over last night with his FC in a hotel (I wanted him to stay with us   but SW said no) Although I bathed him and put him to bed so am up early this morning as I can't wait to see him again. They go back down home today and then we go back tomorrow but we can bring him home for good on Sunday   
We wanted him to just stay here with us but were told from the SW that research has shown that children feel 'abandoned' if they are just left at their new homes and it is better to pick them up from their FC 's home.
Sunny has taken to us all really well, he's so smiley although he has had a couple of tantrums in the car that supernanny would be proud of   . He doesn't like to sleep anywhere but his cot and won't sleep in the car at all, hence he becomes really ratty when he's tired. Not quite sure how to handle that one especially on our long drive home on Sunday.

I'm also feeling a bit strapped for cash as we've had to pay for loads so far. Apart from all the obvious baby things such as cot, pushchair, highchair, stairgates, clothes etc which of course were wonderful to buy and we were prepared for all that, we've had to pay for train tickets, car hire etc... We got the train down once because I couldn't face another 4 hours each way in the car and that cost us £150 then we had to hire a car on top of that. We have already clocked up 2000 miles on our car so far so we are worn out. Also we have only been staying B&B so we are eating out lunchtime and every night (loadsa money when a hungry teenager eats more than you). 

We will get the money back for the train, car hire and mileage if we provide receipts but I feel really stingey asking for it. We do have some money put aside but I was wanting to take extra time off work so don't want to dip into that. Of course Sunny is more than worth it but I just wish the intros weren't as long. Dh is worn out with all the driving up and down, he doesn't trust me to drive   

Anyway sorry for my little moan ,just feeling a little tired and just wish Sunny was here for good instead of having to go home today. I'll go and get ready now and anxiously await FC ringing me to say we can pick them up,

hope everyone's ok,

Val xxx


----------



## jan welshy

Keemjay,
BRILLIANT NEWS FOR YOU. hOPE ALL GOES WELL.
LOVE
welshyxxxxxx


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## jan welshy

Val,

Little Sunny will be home with you before you know it.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXX


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## naoise

Hi girls 

KJ what fantastic news I hope all goes well for you and dh. Rub some of that matching luck onto me pleased. 

Sorry I couldn't get on the chat night last night I was soo disappointed, if dh had have been here he might have got me on, but I couldn't even get to the screen about the username, oh well I am determined to get on next time.

Val it sounds like you are having a very tiring time, at least by Sunday you will bring your little Sunny home. And you will be a family at last.

LOL K


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jan - great news...what is your next step?

KJ - Wow!  that is quick.  Really hope everything works out for you.

Val - Sunny sounds adorable. 

Katie - good luck for tomorrow  

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


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## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Well the meeting with littlies SW and FC went very well, next stop panel! I keep waiting for it all to go pear shaped. We learnt alot more and saw more photos which was great.
Back to waiting!! Love JD x


----------



## jilldill

KJ, any more news today?
Val, this all sounds great you must be very excited well done you not long till Sunday and what a Christmas you will have!!!!
Naoise, really sorry you couldn't join us for a chat how frustrating for you, next time!
Jan, really pleased to hear your results were fine
Love to all JD xx


----------



## thespouses

Ooh that's exciting jill!

Our meeting with the SW went well, we are impressed with the agency, they seem very professional and not prepared to take any nonsense from placing agencies, while encouraging us to be realistic.  She is encouraging us to think about a sibling pair with a biggish age gap e.g. a 5-year-old and a 1-year-old, given that we have an age gap between us two.  It is also possible we might be considered for mixed race (especially siblings with differing backgrounds where we could promote - rather than reflect - the background of the mixed race one).  So that's encouraging.

I hope we gave the right answers ourselves! Like someone was saying, it's a bit like a job interview!  

We have to find our referees, now, before sending back the form... have emailed one already... husband has thought of one more and I've thought of one too - hope they are the right people!

Katie


----------



## Barbarella

Hi everyone

Well we saw Bea's SW's today and they gave us the thumbs up, so we're ecstatic as you can imagine.  We saw her photo (although they wouldn't leave it with us...  ) and she is sooo cute.  The family resemblance is uncanny.  She is like me... dh's sister... and her elder sister is like my niece/who looks like me.  Her b'day is a day after my cousin's... and you know the spookiness about the name.  It feels like this match is gold plated for us.    Next appt is to see medical adviser and foster carer at beg of November and we'll have a panel date soon.  Not likely for a placement before Xmas due to SW's holidays.  Such a shame, but not complaining about a thing as we feel so very blessed to have been matched with her.  

Val - so lovely to hear your intros are going well.. must be sooo frustrating when you just want them home.  Not long for you though.

KJ - fab news about a potential match already... hope this is the one for you, but don't beat yourself up if it's not.  We were matched within 2 weeks of panel with 2 siblings, and it didn't feel right for us but it isn't always obvious.. so hang in there.    

JD - we seem to be at the exact same point with matching.. very spooky as I know we were approved in the same month. If you want to chat offline, PM me.. !!

Love and luck to all...

Cxx


----------



## cindyp

JD, great news, roll on panel.  Hopefully not too much more waiting.

C, Bea is just sounding better and better.  Again hopefully not too much waiting, hoping you're enjoying that ecstatic feeling.

Katie, glad your meeting went well.  Yes I did liken it to a job interview and hopefully they will soon help you complete your CV.  

Val, are your LA not refunding your travel/hotel costs?  Ours were refunded, although they were not substantial.  How long is your trip going to be on Sunday?  Can you work the timing around Sunny's liveliest period?

KJ, feeling any clearer over the Form E's?

Laine, hopefully not much longer for you.

Naoise, shame you didn't make it in the chat room last night.  Hopefully your DH will be around next time to help out.

Jan, good news on the heart scan.

Fiona, congratulations on surviving the party, did you survive the clubbing?     My best mate was at uni in Brighton so I have a few good memories of the place.

Jen, any news?

Misty, welcome to the group.

Andrea have a good half term with the kids.

love to anyone I've missed.

Cindy


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## fiona1

JD - Huge congratulations everything crossed for panel


Misty - Hi, sorry i can't offer any advice as we are fairly new to this too and start our prep course next week, good luck with your journey.

Welshy - Glad to hear all was well with your scan, another hurdle over.

KJ - Wow 2 littles, how fab, everything corssed for you.

Val - Glad to hear all is going well with intros, only 2 days to go.

Katie - Glad your meeting went well, now the balls rolling time will fly hopfully.

Barbrella - Fab news about Bea, such a shame she can't be home sooner, but you will have the rest of your life with her so a few more week will hopfully be bearable.

Cindy - How's the process for no 2 going?

Superal - Hope you are well, Elliot is managing ok with his glasses, but keeps sliding them to the end of his nose and looking over them.

Well, i am back from Clubbing.....I went out feeling Foxy and came home feeling Frumpy, i felt so old, then to top it all i was up till 4.30am feeling sick.

We got the book The role of a concurrent carer today which we hope to read over the weekend before the prep course on Mon. Doea anyone know when we should be allocated a social worker?

Speak soon

Fiona

P.S is there any chance of having another list done of where people are at with their process. i am quite happy to do it, it's just that i am finding it really hard to keep up with where everyone is and i wouldn't like to leave anyone out.

Thanks

Fiona


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## KarenM

Hi Ladies

Welcome to Misty C - good luck for your prep group tomorrow

Sanita - not long to wait for you.  What date is panel?

Katiea - glad to hear that your interview has gone well today.  Good luck in identifying your referees.

Fiona - well done on the party, I think I would feel the same after that many but glad Elliot had a good time.  We are not doing one for our girls this year as they had a big belated celebration for their legal adoption earlier this yearHope he settles with his glasses.  Have a great time in Spain.  I will do the list this weekend as things are beginning to settle down again (hope I haven't spoken too soon)

Welshy - really pleased for you - what a relief  

KJ - wow   can you give us any more detail yet?  

Val - glad to hear you are bringing Sunny home with you this weekend.  I would claim your expenses.  They will expect you to and I would not feel guilty for doing it.  Hope you have a good journey back with your little man and that he settles with his Mummy and Daddy and big sister soon.

JD - glad the meeting went well.  When will you be likely to go to panel? Can you give us any more info on your possible match?

Barbarella - sounds like fate.  Glad to hear things are progressing well and at least you can celebrate this Christmas and have a new year to really look forward to.

Cindy - how's the process going for you?

Hi to anyone else I've not mentioned.

Mum had her op on Tuesday and the Dr is really pleased with how she is getting along.  She should be out next week.  The hospital is 30 miles away so a fair trek each day on top of the 22 I do each way for work.

The girls had their hearing tests on Wednesday and both came back fine.  Its their anniversary tomorrow of their "special day" 1 year since they were legally adopted.  Can't believe how time has flown  

Work is....well a word I couldn't print on hear.  Having a nightmare time and having to sit through lots of torturous and difficult meetings.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Karen x


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## fiona1

Karen - Thanks, i know you have alot on your plate at the moment so if there is anything i can do to help just ask. i am more than happy to do the list, although i know i won't be as good as you (me and computers don't mix)

Have a great day tomorrow i think the past year has flown. i can remember when you adopted them.

Congratulations to the 4 of you

Fiona


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Barbarella, I have pm'd you
Karen, hi there hope you and the girls are good. All our forms are in so panel date (unconfirmed) should be early November. If all goes well we should meet our littlie in mid November! I'll send you a pm so pleased to hear about your Mum
Katiea that all sounds really good today great stuff
Fiona thanks for the mention hope your ok good luck for your prep course
Laine, how are you doing?
Andrea how are you and yours?
Jennifer hi there how are you?
Magenta bet you are having a hectic old weekend, pm me if you need a chat

Love to all JD xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi all its so exciting to hear of everyone's matching and intros! 

Val-intros are a really exhausting time aren't they- travel and emotional exhaustion too! make sure you do claim back for travel expenses- the way we looked at it was that it was strawb's money, and we would use it so that she could have her mummy at home for longer than if we didn't have it! we were also lucky enough to get a settling in grant, which effectively covered the cost of her christening as we hadn't relied on getting the money.  it doesn't come out of your sw's pocket, and i am sure if you are like me you would have had to take unpaid leave for the prep course etc. keep your reciepts and claim!

thnigs are going well for us although having my parents stay from australia means strawb is getting spoilt rotten for attention so happy days it will NOT be when they go in a week, and she is just stuck with me again! (although how nice it will be to have our king sized bed back!!!)

we were lucky to go to court so soon, it was pushed through so that we could be in court with both sets of grandparents. the sws were amazing. the only hiccup is we thought we would take the new birth certificate there and then, and had planned to apply for her passport that afternoon so we can head to paris in two weeks, well the birth cert takes 6-8 weeks! so after court the sws rushed around and we have had to apply in her old name, and we are all keeping our fingers crossed it arrives in time! DD is now potty trained- has been for over a month, and she changes so much all the time she's such a little girl now not a baby any more!


katie try not to take your mum's attitude to heart. I know this is how my MIL felt even though she tried not to show it, i could tell she thought it was secind best. once she met strawb that all changed and her little angel is apparently perfect! she thinks of nothing else any more and loves her to bits and would fiercely defend her!

ruthie, you are well within your rights to talk tot he nursery- explain why and take in the right wipes for boo.

thinking of all of you even though my posts are a bit few and far between these days

boomer
x


----------



## Mummyof2

What a lot of good news and exciting times happening on here right now.  It's fantastic and well done to everyone.

Karen - so glad to hear that your mum will be coming home soon.  

Cindy and JD - thanks for asking after me.

No news here.  My sw sent an email so I got excited but it was just asking if we wanted her to call round for a general chat about things but she had no news on a child but would come if we wanted her to.  I said no thanks as couldn't see the point!  Heard back from one of the sw of the children in Children Who Wait to say that they had shortlisted and we weren't successful as, although the child was 3/4 white British and 1/4 white Spanish, they wanted him to go to a dual heritage family    I would have thought white was white myself.  Oh well.  Heard nothing from sw of other two children.

Apart from adoption, life goes on as it always does.  Little Henry kitten is growing up fast and is very mischievious.

Bye for now.


----------



## thespouses

Sorry to differ on this but my nieces are half spanish, half english and although I wish them good luck finding an adoptive family with that particular mix, I do see my nieces are different and if anything were to happen to my SIL (heaven forbid) I know my brother would still want them to go to Spain etc...

Just my viewpoint - could be they have no luck finding the family they want, and come back looking again.


----------



## LB

Hi Ladies

just popping in to say hello to you all - great to see all the happy news

we are still waiting for our match - can i ask how often do you speak to your SW's are they good at keeping in touch.

good luck to you all

LB
X


----------



## Barbarella

Hi LB

Our SW kept in touch and saw us for a catch up every 5/6 weeks.  She was really good at that, but I know many people say theirs weren't that good.

Hoping you have a match soon...

Cxx


----------



## Old Timer

WOW! How much news to catch up on!?!?!  Its really good to read of all the positive stories at the moment and installs more hope that one day I will be posting such great news.

Karen, so pleased your Mum has had her op and is doing well.  Congrats also on your 'special day' anniversary.

Katie, sorry about your MIL, I hope she comes round and is more supportive soon.  I was worried about telling my Dad because I knew he would worry that we would take on problems that we couldn't deal with but we have had a good talk and he now knows we are realistic in what we can cope with.  I've bought a book called Related By Adoption for my parents etc to read in the hope that it answers some of their concerns.  At the end of the day though you have to do what is right for you.  Glad your meeting went well.

Boomer, congrats on Strawberry legally being yours, must have been a magical moment and so special sharing it with both sets of Grandparents.

Misty C, Hi!  We are at early stages too but it is so good to read all the happy stories on hear, gives us so much hope for the future.

Val, enjoy tomorrow bringing your son home.  Do claim back your expenses, the money can go to better use on your son than sitting in SS bank account.

Hello to everyone else and to all those being matched, approved etc Loads of luck, hope everything goes smoothly.

We have had our IV and the letter relating to it this morning.  They have offered us a place on a prep course in November but we can't go   DH has a weeks course to attend right in the middle of it which has been booked for nearly 2 years.  If he backs out it would cause a big delay in his promotion and pay rise and would have to wait until next November.  So we are now waiting for them to offer a place on the course in Jan 2007 and are hoping they will start the CRB checks etc while we wait.

Hope to catch you all in the chat room sometime soon to.
Love
OT x


----------



## jilldill

Hi girls,
Val, wow exciting days for you I hope all goes really well.
Boomer what a great time you've had well deserved and have everyone there must have been so special
OT, I know the prep start delay is frustrating but January really is just round the corner try and have a lovely relaxing Christmas knowing it will be your turn next year
LB, we didn't speak often to our SW, I just let her know when we were going away. I don't think it has any bearing on anything to be honest

I have come up with an on line name for my possible littlie it's Sunshine!
Love JD x


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone!

Just a flying visit to say Daisy and I are still alive and kicking!  Just don't get any time to come on here these days!  I'm so sorry I haven't done personals for absolutely ages but I do read through and keep up to date with everyone as often as possible and it is just so great to hear of so many matches coming up.

Daisy is doing great.  We've both had a terrible cold for the last week but we have got through the worst now and today she was really back to her smiley happy self.  I can't ever imagine life without her now.

Love to all of you.
Lauren xxx


----------



## superal

Hi Just wanted to say Hello & welcome back to LB & say I hope you get a match soon!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## cindyp

I'd just like to echo Andrea.

LB it's been a long wait for you let's hope you find a match soon.

Cindy


----------



## fiona1

Hi,

Elliot has been dropped off on 'holiday' at my sisters as we have the prep course tomorrow and Tues. We have strick instructions that if we are given a boy we are to say 'yes' and if it's a girl we are to say 'yuk' We have told him we need a social worker 1st and they would want to chat to him and us before they foiund us a baby.

DH travelled back in my sisters Porche (we won't let Elliot go in it so have had to swop cars) we listened to Erasure full blast, felt quiet weird not having DS in the back, going out to the cinema tonight, the 1st time we have been out together in over a year.

Will post tomorrow

Fiona


----------



## Val 12

Hi girls,
just a quickie to let you all know that today went really well. The goodbyes with FC and her family were awful, we all had a few tears, dd stayed in the car and cried   , she couldn't face getting out to say goodbye. Sunny however, was oblivious to it all and was singing away as we were all quietly sniffling.

The journey home wasn't bad at all, Sunny started getting 'grizzly' because he was so tired and then he went to sleep for an hour. We couldn't believe it because he never sleeps in the car usually. Then he woke up full of smiles and starting wuff wuffing pretending he was a dog. Then when we got him home we had a lovely day and he went to sleep straight away when we put him to bed, no tears. I don't think we'll sleep tonight though because we are too excited.

I'll catch up on everyone's news later, better go and unpack and start the washing machine off  

Val x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Val,
So pleased to hear Sunny is now with you at home, you'll have a wonderful and hectic few days now.
Great great news congratulations to you all 
Love JD xx


----------



## fiona1

Val,

Congratulations, enjoy yourselves, I hope Sunny settles in quickly...although it sounds like he has already.

Regards

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Val........So glad Sunny is home with you, may he continue to bring you much happiness.

Hi Fiona......Hope today has gone OK & not to mind blowing, I can remember it well!!

Hello to everyone else.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Val
How wonderful for you to have Sunny at home with you, sounds as though he is doing well already!  Enjoy.
Love
OT x


----------



## fiona1

1 day over 3 to go.....

Really enjoyed today and as we are doing concurrency the time scales are different, they have to assess us within 6 months, so we will go to panel in May (hopfully)

DH feeling a bit uneasy about the whole thing, he is going to chat to some of the men tomorrow, he doesn't like the idea of letter box contact, or inmaybe the possibility of yearly face to face contact, he even said 'if we get a newborn why would we need to tell it at all' this is something i totally disagree with, and i'm sure he can chat about during the home study

Must rush, i have to pack tonight for Spain on wed. I won't be able to post again till Sunday,

hope you all have a good week, and i return to more positive news.

take Care

Fiona


----------



## jilldill

Hi Fiona,
Glad it went well today, your journey is well under way now!!!!!!!!
Take care Love JD x


----------



## thespouses

Well we have decided on our referees, and they have all said yes.  We only have to have three between us, and they are my best friend (she was my best woman at our wedding and she is a primary school teacher and we regularly chat about child development as that's what I do for work so she knows I'm knowledgeable, at least!); an old friend of my husband's (she says she won't admit how long she's known him - he used to be her youth leader when she was a teenager and he was in his 20s! and she has 2 small kids); and the minister who married us, so we went through marriage prep with him, but he's really a good friend, and also has children who are lovely.

Does that sound like a good mix? It also says if you go to church to put your minister down there but the one who married us is not our current minister so we are asking him too.  It actually says you should not put YOUR minister as a referee but we see the one who married us as our joint friend, not our minister.  He has been giving us annual "marriage MOTs" in fact since the wedding, though more because we've had issues (after the first miscarriage) and/or have been passing through where he lives now!


----------



## keemjay

hi guys

val - how wonderful to have sunny home with you, sounds like he feels very at ease with you already. 

katie - your refs sound just right 

fiona - glad day 1 went ok  hope day 2 is as good

old timer - sorry to hear you cant make the nov prep course..last year i was desparate to get on the nov course but we had to wait till Feb..with xmas and everything the time flew, I'm sure it will for you too  all these things happen for a reason...

boomer - lovely to hear from you and so happy you all got to go to court together. hope passport stuff is ready in time 

Karen - glad to hear your mum is coming along ok. hope you all enjoyed the girls special day..

jilldill - ooh its all so exciting 

naiose, sorry you missed chat..next time eh? but bring your crisps cos jilldill ate loads and was still stuffing after everyone else had left 

barbarella - great news that you are full steam ahead. shame it wont happen before xmas but you have something amazing to look forward to in 2007..as have we all hopefully!!

well after a hard weekend we have decided not to proceed with the 2 little girls. we did get some more up to date info on friday which was helpful but all in all it just didnt feel right. its so hard isnt it? i feel quite exhausted by it all but i think thats partly cos we've had such an uncertain few months that we are still getting over the fact that we are actually approved!!

looking forward to the next chat night..we must have one before xmas!

love to all

kj x


----------



## Lauren

Hi Val,

Just wanted to say so happy for you that Sunny is home with you for good now.  You must be so very happy but totally exhausted too I'm sure!  Time will fly and before you know it you will not be able to imagine life without him!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Naoise, don't believe a word of what KJ has told you about the crisps on chat night I know for a fact Magenta was last seen with the kettle crisps but I am not one to gossip and name names!
Val, how did your day go on I bet your shattered in a good way!!!
Katia yes the references sound fine
Boomer any news on the passport situation I hope it gets sorted
Hi to Magenta and Barbarella

KJ, you've made a brave decision there and I know how much it must have taken out of you, this situation just wasn't the one but it will be and hopefully soon. Give yourself abit of time though it must have been a difficult time for you, lots of love 

Take care all love JD xx


----------



## thespouses

Hi all - not very good at these personals as I seem to get people mixed up!

KJ, what a hard decision - hope you can be happy it's the right one, that's what counts.

Thanks all for the positive words about the referees.  I forgot to say the agency director said that they don't show us the references (I knew that) but it is up to our referees whether they show us what they write - we told them all this but without asking directly for them to show us - they are all such nice people they've said they will show us what they write! 

So even if they are a little unforthcoming  on some topics (e.g. my friend who's a teacher doesn't have her own kids so she can't comment on how I am with kids) we will have no nasty surprises, hopefully.  Aren't they lovely people?


----------



## keemjay

katie - most of ours gave us copies of what they wrote  .. you're lucky you only have to have 3, we had to have 6 between us  its lovely to see what people say about you, quite humbling really, my Mums made us both cry 
by having a wide spread of refs they hope to be able to get info from some that they might not get from others so they should end up with a good picture of you both 

jilldill, thanks for your kind words 

kj x


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

I'm just getting ready for my one day course so thought I would pop on before I left I have to have my fix for the morning. 

KJ what a decision to make but I'm sure it is not one you made lightly, but I am sure it was really hard. Hopefully you will be contacted soon about another match.

JD I hope you don't eat all the crisps the next time because I always get the munchies with my glass of wine .

katiea sounds good about your refs, we didn't read our refs, but they must have been good enough.

Fiona glad to hear your day went well hope day 2 is as good.

Must go or I'll be late.
LOL K


----------



## Mummytoone

Hi everyone

Just popping in to see how LB, Laine and Jo are doing? Cant find any posts though  

L xxx


----------



## superal

Hi Lulu

Just wanted to say hi and congratulations...........just read your signature, after everything you went through you deserve to be happy!

LB - has posted on page 12 & Laine on page 11 if that helps you at all.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi 

Just wanted to say welcome to the 'gang' Sunny, I am sure you will give your mummy, daddy and big sis lots of fun and happyness. 

Love Pooh Bear.x


PBMxxx


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Will be back to do personals later but jst to say  have done a list )hope I've got everyone's news correct).

I have posted it as a sticky topic at the top of the board.

Karen x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

LB - welcome back!  Nice to hear from you.

Lulu - hello...posted a message on 'Lous' news' for you.

Val - great to hear that Sunny is home and all is going well for you.

Lauren - glad things are going great for you and Daisy.

OT - hope you get on a Prep Course soon.

Fiona - pleased you enjoyed your first day.

Karen- great to hear your mum is doing ok.

KJ - tough decision to make.  How are you?

Hi to everyone else.

Our sw visit was to discuss a link to a little one.  However, after careful consideration, we have decided not to take it further.  It is one of the hardest decisions we have had to make and it hurts.

Laine


----------



## magenta

We had to say 'not for us' about a few children before we got papers for Bubbles.  It hurts to say 'no' dosn't it?  But you now know what to expect and you can feel strong that you didn't say 'yes' to the first one offered when it didn't feel right.

With any possible link/match it hurts when you make the decision to say 'no' or when sw say no to you but remember, thoughout it all, YOUR child(ren) is out there and when you ge the right match it will feel right.


in the meantime have a hug and a big glass of virtual wine on me.

magenta xx


----------



## rianna

Hi Laine,

This process is so hard sometimes.  I am sure that you have made the right decision, and its worth hanging in there, the right child will come along in the end.  I know exactly how you are feeling, because we have just been in the same situation, but when you look at how far we have come, the fact of the matter is - we are going to be a mums, and I bet you'll be a fantastic one!

Love Rianna


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Jill - Any news on a panel date yet?  Thanks for the pm.  So chuffed for you.  Keep us posted.

Boomer - Congrats on Strawberry's legal adoption.  Glad you have a had a good time with your Mum and Dad.  Well done to her for the potty training.

Jenny - sorry to hear there is no news.  Who is your SW?  PM me if you like as I was with that LA.

LB - nice to hear from you.  Hope you get a match soon.

OT - Sorry to hear you can't make the course (we had the same, but pre-booked hols to escape for my 30th).  January will be here before you know it, I mean its Nov next week and where has October gone!!

Lauren - glad to hear you have got rid of the cold.  Only wish adults could get something as good as Calpol!!

Fiona  - glad to hear the prep course is going well.  Have a lovely time in Spain

Val - sorry to hear the goodbyes were sad (that's always the bit I cry at in films!!) Great news that Sunny is home with you.

Katie - glad you've decided on your references.  

KJ - sorry to hear about your tough decision.  Hope you get another match soon.

Naoise - Hope the course went well.

Lou - Have posted you on your thread but still beam from ear to ear when I see your ticker.

Laine - sorry to hear about your tough decision too.  Hope you too get another match soon.

Hi to everyone else I've not mentioned, hope you are all doing ok.

Mum came home from hossie today.  She has been told they caught it in the very early stages and does not need chemo or radio.  It is such a relief.  Just hope 2006 passes without anymore shocks and we can see 2007 in with some positives.

Can't believe it will be November next week.  I've booked me and a friend in to a Health Spa for the day on 22nd as we've both had an awful year, its her birthday today so she's been a bit surprised.

Best go need to go and finalise my Tesco order. 

Speak soon
Karen x


----------



## cindyp

Hi All

Karen, great news on your Mum, you must be so relieved.  Enjoy your Spa Day, you deserve it.

Laine, it's a hard decision but it has been made for the right reasons.  Hopefully the hurt will go away soon and you will find the match which is right for you.

KJ, same sentiments for you, it's not an easy decision but I know it's one you would have considered carefully.  Hopefully the right ones will come along.

Val, glad to hear you have Sunny home with you and hope you are enjoying your first days together as a family in your own home.

Naoise, hope your course is going well.

Katie, sounds like you have some nice referees there, I don't blame you for getting mixed up on the personals there are so many of us on this thread these days  

Fiona, glad to hear the course is going well.  Don't be too upset over DH, I'm sure all of us have felt what he's feeling at some points.  The more you learn the more likely he is to come round.  By the way packing for Spain?  I think I must have missed a post somewhere, considering the weather here I'm only very jealous     LOL at Elliot's "yuk" to a girl.

Magenta, JD, Barbarella, any more news?

Lauren, how are things?

Andrea, how's the DPP going?

To everyone I know I've missed I hope you are all well.

Met up with Pooh Bear and his Mummy today at Chester Zoo.  Got absolutely soaked but we had a nice time, the boys especially enjoyed the monorail, although my DS didn't like the bats.  I must admit I was slightly thrown as I expected them to be behind glass not flying through my hair    Tonight Junior went to bed saying "don't like bats, like monkeys" which seems very appropriate as he is a cheeky monkey.

Only one week till panel, can't wait.  We've been invited to a National Register Open Day which SW thinks will be worthwhile attending as there aren't any suitable children coming through in our area at the moment.  Unfortunately DH can't get the day off to go but I will attend to see if there are any possibilities.  We're also going to carry on looking in BMP.

Hope everyone manages to have some fun despite the rain, we've got friends and their children visiting for the weekend so hoping to go out somewhere nice.

love to all
Cindy


----------



## sanita

Morning all

Laine - Sorry that particular little one wasn't right for you.  Well done for being strong and saying so.  

Fiona - I laughed when you described the freedom you felt being out with DH without DS.  DH and I feel like that if we go out without the dog.  How sad is that?

Val - Congratulations on bringing Sunny home. I hope you are all settling in together.

Katiea - Our referees didn't show us what they'd written, but they did all ring us after they'd been interviewed to tell us how it had gone and what they had been asked.

KJ - No wonder you feel exhausted.  You've had a pretty emotional ride through to approval and out the other side.  Take care of yourself.

Naoise - Hope your course went well.

Karen - Thanks for doing the latest list.  It's a real psychological (sp?) boost to see my name moving up the list.

Cindy - Enjoy - Panel? Not two words that I am able to use in the same sentence.   I hope the National Register Day is interesting.

We are expecting our draft Form F in the post this morning.  I am excited and scared about reading it.  Our SW is so experienced and we have so much respect for her, I just know it's going to be an accurate reflection of us and our life.  The only thing is, will I like what I read?  We finished HS in early August and for sanitys sake we put adoption to the back of our minds for the last 3 months, but Panel is now less than 4 weeks away and it's all getting very real.  Ohhhh, I've got the colley wobbles this morning.

Sanita


----------



## superal

Hi everyone!

Laine - Do not feel guilty about saying NO to a potential match.  If your gut instinct is telling you this is not right then it's not right.  This little one will become a child to another couple who can offer him/her lots of love.  The right one will be along for you soon.

Jennifer - Sorry you still have not heard something.  Nothing we say or do will help you with the waiting game, all we can do is hope & pray you do hear something soon.

KJ - Sorry the potential match for you was a no go as well.  I admire you all for saying it does not feel right.  It's best said right at the beginning than further down the line.

Rianna - How long have you been waiting now?  Like so many others, just believe in yourself that this will happen for you and the right child/ren are out there for you.

Karen - Excellent news about your Mum, it's about time you had some good news.  Well done on the list, another excellent job well done.  It is nice to see how many have had placements this year and I'm sure there will be some more soon!

Sanita - Hope the form F was every thing you dreamed off!! 

Cindy - Good luck with panel, I'm sure it's just a formality and it won't be long before your name is added to the list for your new addition!

Val - How are things with you & little Sunny?  has it sunk in yet that he is here to stay and he is your son?

Barbarella - How are things with you, have things come to a bit of a halt?

Katie - Glad to see the ball is moving along nicely for you.

LB - it was lovely to read your message the other day..........please stay in touch more often.  I know it must be hard for you & DH but please know we are all thinking of you & hope you hear the news you have waited so long to hear.

Did anyone read LouLou message the other day?  I read her signature and it now says she is pg, isn't that great!  She asked about Laine, Jo & LB.( page 13 of messages - i think!)

I just want to say to those who are still waiting, I know the waiting game is hard, We waited 13 months to be matched to a baby whilst doing concurrent planning & we all know how that ended, so I do know how you feel.  It is made worse when people are being matched and you feel as though you have been passed over and forgotten.  You are not being passed over or forgotten, the right child/ren will be along for you when you least expect it..............that's what happened with us.

Nothing much happening here.  My Diploma in pre school Practice (DPP) is going well, we are on half term break this week so my brain can have a little rest!   It will be worth it in the end!

Hi to every one else I have forgotten to mention, you know your in my thoughts!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Barbarella

Hi all....

Thanks for the mentions ladies....  

Firstly...

Massive congrats to you Val... it must be sooo wonderful bringing Sunny home for the first time.  How are you getting on?  

KJ... sorry your match wasn't right.. I was in the exact same situation a few weeks after we were approved.. it doesn't make you feel good does it.. but having had to say no twice, and now having said yes to the right one... I can assure you it's worth the wait for the right one.  It will be your turn soon...!!

Laine... have PM'd you.. but ditto to the above.  Hope you're ok.

Superal... will reply to your email.. have had soooo many thank yous to send out.. I still haven't finished. 

Karen.. so happy your Mum is ok, and you both enjoy your spa day... it will be wonderful..  


I echo what Superal has said about those of you waiting for a match. It is so hard.  I had to take a break from here for a few weeks, just wanted to take my mind off it and get on with life.  As soon as I did... bingo!!!  And believe me.. I cannot believe it's me at last posting the good news.. so used to saying the congrats to everyone else, not used to getting them. 

I am wary about posting on here too much at the moment, as I really do understand how bad it feels when you are waiting.  I went through phases, but it really will happen for you... it's not like ttc.. this definitely has something special at the end of it... 

Anyway, not much else happening here.  After the SW meeting last week, the exictement has died down a bit.  We're still on schedule for our meeting with foster carer/medical adviser next Weds, but no date for panel as of yet.  

Just waiting... 

Love and luck to all...

Cxx


----------



## LB

hi girls

thanks for the welcome backs 

LB
X


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

I am all alone as my dh has gone to bed with the cold that I have given him so I thought that I would try to catch up with all the news.

Sanita I am sure your sw will have written an accurate account of you and your dh, when we read our form f I was amazed how much she had learnt about us both.

Karen I am glad to hear that your Mum has had good news, let's hope it is a sign of good times to come.

My course went really well it was so interesting, I hope that I will be ready to cope with any attachment problems. Our sw called today just so we could sign some forms and have a chat. She seemed to be very optimistic about our wait and we have said that we are open to some respite foster care while we wait. So we will just have to wait and see what happens I would just love children in the house for XMas but I guess I will have to wait.

I think I will go to bed now see you all tomorrow.

LOL K


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Karen, thanks for doing the list, it makes it more real seeing my name up there!  So pleased to hear the news on your Mum, must be such a relief for you all.

Laine & KJ, sorry you had to say no, must be so hard but was obviously the right decision for you both.  Hope you both are matched again soon with the 'right' child/ren for you.

Sanita, I'm sure the Form F will be interesting reading and full of good things.  

Cindy, good luck with panel.

Hope everyone else is doing OK, sorry not done loads of personals.

We are having to wait now to hear from SS regarding the prep course in Jan/Feb.  We have a complication in the fact our SIL, who we are not close to, talks at the prep courses and we have said we would prefer not to be on a course with her but we don't want to have to delay just for half a day.  She is saying they will have problems finding someone else to do the half day but they will find a solution as SS have apparently told her it would be inappropriate for us to be on a course together.  I just wish they would hurry up and make a decision so that if necessary we can go elsewhere.  Is anything ever easy?  I hate the thought of SIL being the cause of delay and it isn't going down too well with the rest of the family either.

Love
OT x


----------



## saphy75

wow so much good news on here, congrats everyone

Karen i'm so pleased it sounds like your mum is well and truely on the mend

Laine & KJ it's so hard turning a potential match down isn't it, we were matched with 2 little boys but it didn't feel right and i was so upset and felt so guilty saying no i almost gave up on adoption altogether, i'm so glad i didn't becuse a week later i was matched with my little boy. so don't give up 

pam xx


----------



## sanita

Phew, what a relief.  Our Form F is fine.  Doesn't it make spooky reading though?  I felt it should have been presented to me in a red book cover with a man with a microphone saying "******  ****** this is your life".


----------



## Old Timer

Hi 
We have now had confirmation that we will be able to attend the Jan prep course, SIL has been removed from the schedule, to her surprise rather easily and quickly.
I don't think anything else will happen now until then though I have asked if we could start the checks....
Love
Ot x


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi girls, thanks for all the mentions.

Karen - what a relief about your mum.  I am so pleased.  

Laine - sorry you had to turn down a little one but well done for being brave enough to say no.  

Superal - I must say what lovely posts you give to everyone and how supportive you are - a real star  

No news here re adoption.  

It's been half term so I have been really busy going out and about with my ds and meeting up with friends and their children.  Went swimming with SIL and her 3 children.  Two are now stroppy teenagers and it's an eye opener!!

Bye for now


----------



## superal

ahhhhhhh Jennifer thankyou for such lovely words that you wrote about me, brought a tear to my eye! 

Had a little giggle about your eyes being opened with stroppy teenagers, I can tell you all about them!!

Hope you hear something soon, it will happen when you least expect it.  Our SW always use to say do something to the house and whilst your in the middle of doing it all your get the phone call.  It never really worked for us BUT we are in the middle of a big extension & I keep joking with DH what would he do if the phone did ring to tell us DD BM has had a baby! (he'd faint!! )

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

hi girls, jennifer i hope you hear something soon!!

fiona- our friends recently had a relinquished baby placed- they were told if they did not agree to the face to face contact then when it came to panel the area superviser would just say well why are we placing the child with these adopters when there are so many approved adopters who would? (and as you know we are in the same LA) it might be orth exploring this a little more before DH says something on the course. our firends in the end agreed to a one off contact after one year, then they would "see how it goes". the birth mother had requested annual face to face, so this was a good compromise. If they had just said no they would have lost their baby to other adopters.

well dd's passport arrived hurrah!  it is in birth name, but we now have the adoption order to carry with it. when her birth cert arrives in the next couple of months we will spend the fifty quid to get her name changed to ours of course!

barbarella I am so happy for you- are you sticking with the intro book or updating it for the little one you are being matched with?

love to all- cindy is that panel for your second time round approval?


----------



## thespouses

I'm really happy to hear you say that about doing stuff to the house superal, I was kind of wondering when we will get the time to do stuff to the loft and of course when you are waiting to be matched is a good time!

No news here of course apart from one referee (our vicar) hasn't confirmed it would be him or the other vicar to do the reference, so we still  haven't sent off our forms.  I've got loads of books out of the library to read which feels like doing something - but as I work in the field of child development I am a real snob about the whole thing - why have they written THAT it's misleading/inaccurate/unproven - so I am going to try and work out which ones our SW likes and keep quiet about them, and then rubbish the ones they don't like!

I read Daisy & Chester, and a Nutmeg book, and passed them on to husband (not much of a reader but can cope with those!) - he was really sweet about them, and positive about the whole thing - he says he is much happier about the idea of adoption than IVF.  I think it's the right choice for us...

hope all are well, glad you got the passport boomerang girl...

fiona, I am not at that stage yet but agree from what I've read that you are unlikely to be matched with any child if you don't at least consider contact. I also know from our friend who's an adopter that in practice letterbox contact means sending off letters which are never picked up...


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Hope everyone has had a good weekend.
Boomer really glad the passport has arrived what a relief!
Magenta, how are you pretty hectic I would imagine
Old Timer that's good news re Jan prep course the ball really will start rolling then!
Jennifer, thinking of you I know how hard the wait can be
Laine, I hope you are ok
Sanita, well done on your Form F that's one big hurdle out the way
KJ, I hope you are feeling abit brighter this week
Barbarella, how are you doing, I will pm you
Karen did you get out and about with the girls at the weekend the weather has been fab
AngeK, do you have a panel date yet?
Rianna, thinking of you
Val how are you doing with Sunny? I bet life is pretty different for you now
Andrea, glad to hwear the diploma is going well what is it in?
Cindy, not long till panel how exciting!!!!

Hello to all those I haven't mentioned take care at whatever stage you are at
The panel date for our littlie is Monday the 6th November!

Love to all JD xx


----------



## jilldill

Karen another fantastic list thank you, it's great seeing all our names up there in print well done 
Love JD xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

congrats nat on snugs becoming officially yours. And I don't think i congratulated Boomer on strawberry either.....sorry, but as Boo seems to think that me sitting at the computer must mean its time to come and have a swing (its a rotataing office type chair) so if i don't get everything i need done in the first  mintes then thats it!

In relation to our court hearing, we only got Boo's freeing order through on friday (only a 4 week wait on top of a months delay to our 3 month meeting....ho hum!), so am putting the application in the post today. Did everyone on here get a solicitor for this part? We've been told we don't need to as he's got a freeing order already, but was wondering if that's what you others have experienced. Not that I don't trust the SWs or anything! 

We bought Boo a superman costume for halloween. its miles too big for him and he looks more like a tellytubby than a superhero, but he loves it. I caught him pulling shapes in the mirror with it on yesterday, checking out his muscles! I don't know where he gets it from, DH not being the bodybuilding type (unfortunately!  ).

Has anyone experienced being treated differently when on leave when compared to someone who's given birth. I can't work out if I'm just being a bit paranoid. Its just my experience of adoption is that people are happy for you, but you really don't get many presents or good luck cards or anything. We did of course get some lovely stuff from our closest friends and family, but in general there was nothign from work or anything. I was a bit dissappointed with that, but well over it now. But now one of my collegues is off sick, so I've been asked to come in a give some of his lectures (which were my lecture last year but as I'm on leave till january he took them on). I've said yes but am feeling a bit second class now, like not only do i not deserve a good luck card when going on leave, but now i don't even deserve my whole leave entitlement.  Anywya, sorry for whinging, but its been niggling away at the back of my mind the last week.

On a more positive note, its Boo 3rd b'day soon......we're all very excited. Trying to work out what to do party wise, and thinking of making it a big-ish one as we won't be having a christening or anything?? 

hope everyone is well, and all the new and more established families are doing great,
xxruthie


----------



## Val 12

Hi girls,

sorry haven't posted for a while. I need to book a slot to get on the pc in this house what with dd on the 'sims' and dh on fishing sites I haven't got a look in. Then once i've got Sunny in bed i'm ready for a sleep myself. Sunny is a little star, he eats well, sleeps well and is generally just happy all of the time. We cannot believe how lucky we are to have him. He is constantly on the go and is into everything. I think dh has got a bit of a shock at just how much our lives have changed. I have found it much easier this time around as when I had dd I was with my 1st husband who didn't help at all and dd was a bit of a handful (cried constantly and didn't sleep).

DD has gone back to school after half term thank goodness. She has been absolutely marvellous with Sunny, like a 2nd mum, but's that's the problem we felt like we couldn't bond with him because dd was always wanting to feed, bathe, change him etc and Sunny was crying for her rather than us. The novelty seems to wearing off a little now because she's stayed out all weekend at her friend's house and is off to a Halloween party tomorrow night. I was getting worried that she wasn't seeing very much of her friends but I think she was just excited about us getting Sunny. I had to laugh at Jennifer's post re: stroppy teens, I can tell you all about that at the moment. There was a major strop going on this morning because dd couln't find a book and it was all my fault (of course).

Just like to say a thank you to Pooh Bear's mum, Sunny says thank you for the welcome
Sanita: Well done on your form F. It does make scarey reading, you think 'is my life really like this'
Old timer: Good luck with the prep course, it'll be here before you know it
Laine: sorry about your possible match but you did the right thing. You know when something seems right and we turned down a couple of possible matches and then we were matched with our little boy

Ruthiebabe: Have to totally agree with you on being treated differently. Having given birth 13 years ago and then adopting a little boy, how people treat you is just soooooooo different. Not that I want loads of prezzies either (well some would be nice). An example being my bestest mate had her little boy in April and I bought her loads of things including clothes for the baby, a carseat and pamper type prezzies for her. And we got home with Sunny last Sunday, absolutely shattered after a long drive up and she was desperate to see him. His prezzie was a tiny teddy bear.
My own sister didn't bother to come and see him until the Wednesday because she thought we'd have too many visitors. Even then she didn't bring any prezzies and didn't bother to get dd anything either.I've got quite a few cards and got a bunch of flowers from work but haven't had that many visitors. A close friend from work rang me last night all excited wanting to see him, she'd been on holiday all week so I was chuffed to find out she'd been away because I thought she wasn't that bothered either. 
I suppose it's still early days and we are still just getting used to our new life but I can't help but agree that had I given birth, things would be different. 
Sorry for the long post but not sure when i'll next get on, Sunny is just starting to wake up I can hear him singing. Hope everyone's ok,
Val xxxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

aw ruth and val I'm sorry you had that sort of response! we were overwhelmed- my workplace gave us fifty pounds of ELC vouchers from the girls there, and we were swamped with gifts from friends and family! It was nice having greeted and treated their babies over the years! on top of that her b'day was really a massive welcome party so she got way too many presents, and her christening was lovely too- Ruthie I would go for it with a big b'day party for boo- why not? its your chance to make up for all the years you have waited, and Boo's chance to see all the people who are special to him now! we did it for strawb's second, her third next year will be muchmore low key, but we are still glad we did it this time and she loved it.

on another note, what your workplace has just done is illegal- and you doing the lectures could jeapordise your adoption leave, the same way it would maternity- have you told them that?  I know Boo has started nursery- are they willing to pay for childcare? poo poo to them I say! on the note of a solicitor when a child is already freed- no- there didnt seem any point for us- everyone was consenting to the adoption order so there was no reason for the magistrates court to say no, it really was a formality.  it will probably be different for children processed after december in that they won't have freeing orders? but we didn't get one nor were we advised to. hope that helps


----------



## thespouses

I would be very wary of working during maternity/adoption leave too - I may be in a situation depending on when we are approved or matched of having two students who need support but where this could be accomplished in half a day a week (in fact, when I thought I was going on maternity leave this was also going to be the case).  

What I thought of doing was saying I'd work a day a week for the first 3 months back at work, only turning it into (in reality) half a day a week for six months, but with pay only starting up again after the first three months.  But I was planning to work from home so it would have been much more informal and no-one could have pinned it down and said I'd started work earlier than I had officially - you need to be careful.


----------



## magenta

Hi everyone,

i am going to do a couple of wee bits of work whilst i start my adoption leave.  One is a talk to a church guild because it is my own church and they booked me 8 months ago and really only want me (and to cancel now for next wednesday would be too little notice to get another speaker) but it is only 2 hours and i have told my boss i am 'volunteering' and not working.  the other bit is a 'meet and greet' meeting with my adoption cover person once they start (2 hours max) to hand over stuff that needs explained. Honestly after today in the office from 8am til 6.15pm i will be glad to wave goodbye for a few months!

Well I meet my little girl for the first time on Wednesday afternoon.  We have the placement meeting in the morning and have been invited to meet her at FC house in the afternoon.  I am sooooooo excited i can't tell you.  All this time and now we get to meet our 'answered prayer' in person.  We think they will start intros that afternoon essentially and we will start proper visits on Friday or Saturday with the aim of her being here in just 10days. Obviously all this will be confirmed and agreed on Wednesday but it isn't long now.  yippppppeeeeeeeee!

Not done much shopping at all (i have been sooo good) but we'll do a massive spend on Saturday once we've met her and know her favourite colours and what equipment she needs.  I am dying to get her cot or bed so that i can get the room decorated and everything ready.  bought my first'proper' pack of baby wipes last week and almost cried in tescos( ) goodness knows what i'll be like getting her nappies or clothes.  We have been blessed to get a lot second hand through our local freecycle group - child safety catches; stair gates (one was brand new in the box - £60worth of stairgate free!!).  We have also been offered garden toys etc which I will collect once we know what she might use.

better go..more cupboard locks to fit before bedtime!...oh the joys of impending parenthood 

magenta xx


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi girls, 

hope you don't mind me joining this thread but I wondered if you could roughly tell me how long it takes to adopt from start to finish.
I know you have to wait to be matched.  but just wanted a rough guide.

Ahhh just wanted to say congratulations to Magenta on your match you must be so excited bless. Good luck and what a wonderful joy to have for christmas, you can actually write her name on yr xmas cards, something I long to do however muslie my   will have to do for now.

Take care
~Twinkle~


----------



## Boomerang girl

Hi twinkle, of course it varies person to person, but it seems to take around two years "ish"- there can be delays at any stage- we had to wait ages for a prep course, but then got matched within weeks of panel (athough placment took a little linger) others seem to have had prep courses come up within a few months, then waited fter matching.

our times were:
initial inquiry: april 04
info evening: july 04
first appt:sept o4
early medical following depression during tx:sept 04
3 month wait enforced as too soon after t/ depression
took us to next avail prep course march 05
home study started may 05
panel nov 05
linked to strawberry dec 05
met sw/foster carers feb 06 (sw had been away then there was a change of sw)
matching panel early may 06 (delay due to social workers busy in court)
met strawb following week
moved in forever 9 days later

court hearing oct 2006- now legally ours.

hope that is some help?


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Magenta, what a wonderful post!  You sound so excited and rightly so, what a wonderful time ahead of you, all the waiting has been worth it.

Twinkle, Welcome.  We are at the start of the adoption process really, we have been for an info evening and had our initial visit and are now booked to do the prep course in Jan 2007, unable to do November 2006 due to long term pre-arranged commitments.  So now we are just waiting and doing things around the house, we have a new kitchen being delivered 23rd November so hopefully that will be in by Christmas.  We were told by our LA that from formal application, which is done after prep course, they have 9 months so get you approved to meet targets but they expect it to be done in 6 months.  After that it really just depends on what you have said you can take on, the number and age of children, whether your LA/Agency have any already in mind or in their care.  This can take weeks, months and in some cases years.....and I guess is really the hardest part of the process!  It seems to me though that all LAs do things differently, in a different order as we have not yet been asked about our referees or medicals, CRBs etc.

Initial contact: 28/08/06
Info Pack: 31/08/06
Info Eve: 06/09/06 (info pack says upto 2 months wait)
Initial Visit: 12/10/06 (Our LA does this within 1 month of receiving form back after info eve)
Prep Course: Jan 2007 (this was the next available one we could do otherwise it would have been November 2006 which was a bit quick really!)

How do people go about introducing their children to family and friends  My BIL didn't introduce his girls to anyone for 3 weeks and then we got phone calls to say we could visit on a set day at a set time.  This gave the girls some time to settle in but I am not sure this is how I would do it and am interested in how others have gone about this.  Obviously its a long time off for me at the moment but time does fly....  I know my Mum and Dad and my Neice wouldn't be able to stay away that long and I would need to see my Mum, am lucky that we are very close and live a couple of miles apart.

As for presents, we bought the girls toys and a welcoming card when they moved in.  They had an adoption party a year later after becoming official where extended family and friends were invited, some people bought presents for them then but the ones who had already done that when they moved in didn't do it again.

Love
OT x


----------



## BunBun

I wonder if any one can give me a nod in the right direction. We have finally started our home study and have been told we need to make two family/introduction books one aimed at under 18 months & the other for about a 3 1/2 to four year old. Has anyone else had to make two books? Also the sw suggested we make the younger book out of the hard card that the babies picture/reading books are made from, has anyone seen these available anywhere? 
Any thoughts/infomation appreciated.


----------



## sanita

Bun Bun - If you have a Hobby Craft near you, you will probably find that they stock most of what you could need to do your family books.  We've had to do our family book in preparation for approval panel as the panelmembers like to see it.  We are looking at the 3 - 8 year age range, so have gone in the middle and done our book for a 5 year old.  I think its a bit daft having to do the books before you're matched as I know I will want to re-do mine once I know what age and gender we are having.  Or do they already have an 18 month old and a 4 year old in mind for you?


----------



## magenta

Bun Bun,

we didn't have to do a family book until we were matched but we used a 6''x6'' scrapbook from WHSmith and got coloured card in the same size in the same section to use as backing.  We also laminated the sheets before putting them in the page protectors cos our girl is 19months and would destroy it very quickly otherwise.  We only did a few pages - us together, each of us individually, the house, the park, grandparents and two close friends who will be around in the first few weeks.  We will add extra pages as needed.  WHsnith have a great craft section with all the stuff you'll need - and it needn't befancy.  Ours is just photos with coloured card behind, a handwritten description and a pooh sticker on each page. We were told it was just great.

However, the whole lot cost about £25 (including the laminator which came with ten sheets which did two pages per sheet) and we have all the equipment and stuff to make up extra pages).

Magenta xx


----------



## Boomerang girl

bun bun, amazon do a book called whoozit photo album- it is a soft page interactive album with five slots to put pics in- no words, just the important photos. it was recommended by our sw and our dd loved it (she was 20 months but they have used it for younger babies too) also we did big head pics, pics of her room, dog, buggy, our car, our house (front) and thats it we were told not to put any other adults in before she lived with us- her immed. family was enough. we made pages to add later for grandparents etc.  she still loves her books and likes that it is just us in there- her mum, dad, dog and herself (we got a pic from the fostercarers of her to add.  we stuck it on coloured card from smiths and put pooh bear etc stickers everywhere, then laminated it and put it in a folder.

old timer- our la said two weeks before meeting anyone, but then said "if you can last a week do grandparents after that). we lasted a week exactly! she met a few people over the following week, but found it all a bit daunting, so we took our time for a week or so, then gradually she met more family.

she is having her first night falling asleep (well maybe!) without us tomorrow- we are dropping her at my MIL and FIL then heading to the emirates stadium to watch the champions league match hurrah! we will pick her up afterwards. hopefully the noddy readybed will work, and she is very excited about seeing Nanny and Grumpy for tea and bath!

fingers crossed!


----------



## Val 12

Hi just want to wish Magenta good luck tomorrow on meeting your little girl     i'm sure it'll be a wonderful day. 

Let us know how you get on,  

Val xxx


----------



## superal

Hi

Would just like to second what Val has said and wish magenta all the best for tomorrow.  It won't be long before your DD will be home with you & what a fantastic Christmas you will have! 

Well 10 years ago today we first found out about our DS, where has the time gone??  We knew our SW had found us a match and that it was a little boy & that he was 3 years 6 months old.  She could not give us more details, like his name, as she wanted to know from the little she had told us if we were interested in finding out more, as though she had to ask twice!

The funny thing was we had not been approved that long, about 8 weeks but it seemed a life time, we had gone along to a normal support group meeting and joked that it would be funny if our SW told us that night about a match.  The meeting started and nothing was said until right at the very end and she just dropped it into conversation.

We then had to wait until 5th November to find out his name and more details about him, his form came in the post 2 days later and the rest as they say is history.

Sorry this is a "me" post but I just wanted to share that with all of you & although he is now a stroppy teenager who gives me cheek I wouldn't swap him for the world & I must make a point of telling him that more often!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## ~Twinkle~

Hi girls,

Boomerang girl  -    Thank you for your feed back hun, give a   to strawberry for me bless.
Old Timer        -   Thank you also for your feedback, best wishes for your prep course.

good luck to anyone else going through adoption, hopefully I will be joining you very soon. 

Luv
~Twinkle~


----------



## KarenM

Not got much time tonight as I've brought work home.

Just wanted to wish Magenta good luck for tomorrow.  Have a great day it will be a memory to cherish

Karen x


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Magenta I am delighted to add my good wishes for you all tomorrow I doubt there will much sleep in your house tonight. What a magical moment it will be.

Twinkle welcome to the board we had our initial visit with our sw in October 2005,had our prep course in November, homestudy from February to June and passed our panels in October and November this year and waiting for a match. We have been approved for concurrent planning so that we can foster our hopefully forever family before they are freed for adoption.

Superal I am sure you have many happy memories of your family lets hope we all have that opportunity soon.

Love K


----------



## cindyp

Magenta, best of luck for tomorrow, hope you have a really enjoyable day.

Panel for us is at 9.30 tomorrow morning so I'm off for an early night.

love
Cindy


----------



## fiona1

Bugger just lost a post...

Magenta and Cindy all the best for tomorrow.

Sorry no other personnels, we finished the prep course today, i loved it, we got to meet a concurrent carer who has adopted 3 children, Dh feels concerned that if we get a baby with injuries he won't know how he would feel when we met the BP (which we will do lots over their assessment period because of contact) I hope this get's discussed more during the home study.

I have told him we both need to feel the same and he can't go through it for me. He worried he won't love the child the same as DS, i think all parents 2nd time round worry they won't love their childern the same.

Oh well time will tell.

Hi to everyone, speak soon

Fiona


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Just to say good luck to Magenta and Cindy for tomorrow, hope all goes well.

Thanks Boomerang, I think it will be my parents that we would introduce first and as soon as possible, the rest can wait.......

Andrea, congrats on 10 years!  I bet the time has flown by for you all.

Fiona, well done on finishing your prep course and good luck for the next stage, hope you and DH can come to a joint decision.  My Dh has totally no-no'd concurrent because he couldn't cope with having to give a baby/child back.

Love
OT x


----------



## keemjay

sorry been a bit awol, for once have been called in to work almost non stop for the past week..am not used to it so its doing me in!

just wanted quickly to wish Magenta all the best for tomorrow, sooo exciting to be meeting your little lovelie, hope its as wonderful as your dreams..and more..

cindy  for panel tomorrow

superal, what a lovely post..i dont know about the others but i really do value your input as a 'been there, worn the t-shirt' adoptive mother..its such great insight into my future

must get to bed, will be walking the (frosty) fields at 7am with the dog before work....

love to all

kj x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Maggie, good luck from us all what a fab Mum your going to be much love for tomorrow
Fiona, well done finishing the prep course that's one hurdle out of the way
Cindy, thinking of you tomorrow good luck not that you will need it, let us know when you can
Twinkle, welcome to our happy band your in good company here
Andrea lovely to hear how it all went for you when your DS arrived

Hello to everyone else
Love JD xx


----------



## thespouses

Gosh it's all weird colours in here!

I had an idea for an intro book which might help anyone that can sew: if you got some fuzzy fabric and cut out a teddy bear, you could stick it in the book, and then if you were up to it you could make a teddy bear out of the same fabric.  Great for little ones I would have thought.

That's a really nice story, Andrea!


----------



## Boomerang girl

just wanted to say magenta and cindy will be thinking of both of you today hope you both have the champers ready xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

just a quick post to wish best of luck today Magenta and cindy,

xxxruthie


----------



## BunBun

All the best to cindy & magenta for today.
Many thanks for all the help for the family book - everything is a bit rushed at the moment we need to have the books ready by 8th December when our initial sw returns for her visit and panel for 24th january was 14th february but has been moved forward.


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Our sw is just off the phone, letting us know about a sibling group that she thought we might be interested in. They are all girls and they are going to panel to be freed for adoption in January, though they may have to be moved from their foster home before that which would mean that we would be able to foster them before that which may mean that we would have them home for Xmas I don't want to get too excited yet as DH and I haven't had a chance to talk about it I rang him quickly at work but he is busy so I will have to wait till he gets home. She said she is just sounding us out and will ring us back next week. I am bouncing off the walls at the minute but I am sure I will calm down soon, the only thing is that there is three of them and we had really thought that two would be a good number but we definitely have a good think about it.

Magenta I hope all has gone well today have been thinking about you all.

Cindy I am sure you have done well let us know.

LOVE K


----------



## superal

Hey naosie - that's wonderful news - have a good chat with DH tonight but if it feels right, find out more and hey presto your Christmas is made!

I always thought I only ever wanted 2 but am longing for a third, so don't rule them out just because there are 3, they may be the perfect ages for you.

Wishing you lots of luck and please keep us posted.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Just popping in to see how Magenta and Cindy got on today?  Thinking of you both.

Naoise - great news!  look forwad to hearing more soon.

Laine x


----------



## fiona1

Naoise - What fab news, fingers crossed. Hope discussions with DH go well.

Magenta + Cindy - Hope you are both out celebrating

Fiona


----------



## Old Timer

Naoise, how exciting!  Hope discussions go well and they prove to be the right ones for you.
Magenta & Cindy, hope all has gone well.
Love
OT


----------



## magenta

All went fantastically.  she really is the most beautiful , gorgeous little girl i have seen ever.  Unfortunately no time to post details now..will try and grab 5 mins to post the whole story when I get back from shops (cotbed buyng!!!!!).  If i dont post today - I will definately post tomorrow.  

maggie x


----------



## jilldill

Maggie, fantastic news!!!!!!!
Love JD x


----------



## Barbarella

Ooooh Magenta.. how fantastic... am so pleased for you.  However, I have news for you... my dd is the most beautiful girl in the world...    

I am so sorry I can't do personals today.. (thanks for the PM Molly2003 and Jilldill)..... I have some good news.

We are going to panel on 23rd November and hopefully should meet our little girl on 4th December.  We are absolutely gobsmacked after yesterday being told that they can't guarantee a place on panel this year!!!!!  So... all being well (we can never take these things for granted...) we will have our little girl home for Xmas.  

She is sooo adorable.  We now have a picture.. and just keep staring at it.  Met her foster carer today and she is sooo lovely, has done a fantastic job of preparing Bea for her adoptive parents... can't thank her enough.  

Anyway, sorry, again I want to read everyone's posts, but am soooo busy doing emails and thank you's... am overwhelmed by it all.

Lots of love, 
Cxxxx


----------



## KarenM

Magenta - great nes so chuffed for you

Naoise - hope you and dh have a good discussion.  Let us know how things go.

Cindy - Hope you have got on ok today

Fiona - glad to hear you finished your prep course.  I think we all have fears and thoughts about the BP's.  I am assuming you do the same home study for concurrency, if so, there will be a section about it in your home study.  

Bun Bun - great news on panel being moved forward, we are always hearing about them being put back so makes a change.

Barbarella - what an Xmas in store in your house.  Great news.  Good luck for the 4th.

Hi to everyone else.  Not much going on here.  Dh's birthday at the weekend and then next week is our 2 year anniversary of our littlies moving in.  Hard to believe really.

TTFN
Karen x


----------



## molly2003

*HI MUMMY HI MUMMY CONGRATS NEW MUMMY NEW MUMMY WELL ONE AND ENJOY THE REST BEFORE BABY HOME FOREVER         *

hi mummy or so nice congratsssssss MUMMYY AND DADDY ITS LOVLEY SAT HERE SMILEING WITH A TEAR IN MY EYE ,, OXOX[fly][/fly]


----------



## sanita

Barbarella - What fantastic news.  I bet you didn't get much sleep last night, you sounded so excited in your post.

Magenta - Congratulations.  I look forward to reading all the details later.

Naoise - You and DH must have had a very BIG talk last night.  Good luck with your decision making.  I bet you didn't get mush sleep either last night.

Cindy - I am sure all went well for you yesterday and you had a nice celebration last night.

Sanita x


----------



## superal

Barbarella - that is absolutely fantastic news. I can remember some of your posts - thinking it would not happen this year and you needed time to stay away from these boards. I'm so glad you haven't and you've been able to keep us informed about your DD............what an early Christmas present, the best you could have wished for! 

Maggie - So glad everything went well. Of course your DD is the most beautiful little girl you have seen. We all say that about *OUR  * children it's got nothing to do with being biased!! Another early Christmas present for you as well!!

Cindy - How are things?

Hello to everyone else, I'm supposed to be doing my home work for my Diploma in Pre School practice but couldn't resist coming on here for a nosey!!
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Mummyof2

maggie - wonderful news  

fiona - my dh also worries he won't love adopted child like he does ds.  

andrea - thanks for sharing about ds. 

jd - not long now!  

twinkle - welcome to you.  it's taken us 2 years to get to this stage.  

hi to everyone else.

i'm typing one handed as got kitten asleep on other arm  

no news here - one child i applied for in children who wait had 60 responses i've been told  

bye for now


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Maggie your little girl sounds wonderful is it nice and warm up there on  

I contacted our sw this morning to let her know that we are interested. She said that we may not hear anything for a while, as they are not rushing it. And it may be January before they arrive, which contradicts a bit what she said yesterday and she did say I know I am being a bit vague. She also said that they may have adoption allowances which is maybe because that there is soo many of them what do you all think? I am not sure what the next step is so any advice would be great. I guess she can't tell me too much until she speaks to the childrens' social worker,who works in the same office as her. Sorry I have hardly any personals my head is all over the place.

LOL K


----------



## superal

Hi naosie - I'm sorry I can't offer any advice other than the reason they may not want to move them now until January is because SS do not like moving children so close to Christmas if they are of a certain age.  Children under 2 seem to move, not with out problems but move smoothly than older children and I'm guessing that if your sibling group is of 3 or 4? there not going to be under the age of 2.  We found out about our DS 10 years ago on Halloween and he did not move in until January.  That was hard knowing about him but not being able to have Christmas with him.

I made my Mums Christmas though by telling her all about her new grandson on Christmas day!! 

Hope some one else can give you some good advice.

in the meant time keep believing your going to be a Mummy1

love
Andrea
xx


----------



## lisaw36

Hi everyone,  sorry it has been such a long time since I last posted on this thread.  I have been following all the news and must say that there is so much happening with you all at the moment and such lovely stories.  I often sit at my desk at work reading your words with tears in my eyes that after so much pain there is so much hope and happiness.  

My dh and I have finished our home study and our sw is now finalising our form f. We have been given a panel date of 19th December which is so exciting so near to Christmas.  We were hoping November but the sheer amount of paperwork our sw has to produce meant that it was impossible. By hey, we are moving in the right direction and not too long now to panel date.  

Our second opinion meeting threw a few curve balls in our direction when the second sw mentioned a little boy who she said would be ideal for us    Our sw immediately silenced her saying that it was not right to get our hopes up when it was over 6 weeks to panel and the little boy did not have a freeing order.  I don't know if this ever happened to any of you but all the time I have been thinking in general terms, a little boy/little girl from 0-3 I have been able to keep it in the back of my mind (as much as possible  ) but actually hearing about a specific child of a certain age made it all seem so sad.    It affected me for days and (if I am honest) I am still thinking about him all the time.  

On the brighter side our sw said we would be easy to match and it would not take too long after panel (how long is a piece of string ....... what does that actually mean  ).  So we have a lot to be hopeful for. 

It has been wonderful reading all your  news and I have been checking out all the sub-threads - Molly your little one walking - bless!  

And so many anniversaries have come and gone.  

I am sorry I haven't done any personals but just wanted to know I have been thinking about you all - particularly Magenta, Cindy and Naoise this week. 

Lots of love
Lisa X


----------



## Nats

Oh wow, so much good news......so many happy families, it now looks like everything is going ok for the adoption group!!.

Had to rush snugs down to the emergency doctors last night as he wasnt at all well.....and we were right, he has an ear infection, so he is now on anti biotics and good old calpol. He seems brighter today and managed some food. Its funny really, its supsrising how well you get to know them in such a short time. I cant tell you how worried we both were about it...it was quite awful.
So I had to cancel our swimming today, which is a shame but dont want to make it worse. He is now sleeping so had 20 mins!. This is the first time i have been in all day for ages and its quite weird.! We have one more final visit from our social worker tomorrow, which is more  of a goodbye....I am quite sad in a way as I had quite a good good relationship with our SW. Maybe we will see her again if we go for another sibling.....I am currently working on dh  .

My little dog is back at the vets, but just for a blood test to see what his liver and stuff is doing. he has lost 1.1lb in weight which is good as he was a tad podgy! .
Just waiting to see when they want him back to do the biopsy on his liver and another ultrasound. He is doing well though, lots of energy and back to his old self, but that could just be the painkillers.

Right I must tidy the house, I havent even got dressed yet...I havent done that for years!

Need to pop out later to get snugs a hat and gloves!

Take care all

Natsxx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Gang,

WOW so much is happeneing it is hard to keep up.

Cindy,I have pm'd you. How did it go yesterday?

Maggie, your little ones sounds sooooooooooooo sweet. Have fun shopping and enjoyyour intro's.

We are off on our 1st abroad holiday tomorrow. i am so excited. I justdon't know how we aregoing to keep a lively toddler still, lucky the flight is only just over 2 hours.

I really must go and pack, I haven't done a thing yet and the house is like a bomb site.

See you all when I get back.

Love 

PBMxxxxx


----------



## magenta

ok...edited version of ...first meeting story for those who want to know.

Well we had the placement meeting at 11am but it was nearly 11.30am by the time everyone got there. then we started by doing intros and looking at how ready we all were for the move - us, the foster carers and 'Bubbles'.

It was agreed what is coming with her - her bedding (thank goodness I didn't buy some as there seems to be loads coming - all white cot blankets and sheets, toys, clothes, al her swim stuff and her big buggy/travel system (sooo glad i didn't buy one in advance as her'sis only 20months old and in great condition). however we are going to treat ourselves to a new lightweight stroller for her (quite like the maclaren volo ).

then we started putting in dates for intros. it is all a bit quick I must say. Because we were meeting her in the afternoon they took that as first visit and were keen (read insistant) that we saw her for some amount of time every day for the first week. So we have really gone in at the deep end.

So yesterday was - short visit at FC house with FCs there
today - dinner, bath and bed at FC's house
tomorrow - afternoon outing with FC
saturday - late afternoon outing without FC - just us
sunday - visit to our house with FC
Monday - visit to our house without FC for afternoon
Tuesday - placement meeting then swimming, lunch at our house, nap at our house and then dinner at ours and home to FC for bedtime
Wednesday - all day just [admin edited name out]and me on our own
Thursday - another all day visit (or day off?) TBC
Friday - another all day visit (or day off?)TBC
Saturday - day one of moving in - TBC
Sunday - day two of moving in - TBC

So after the meeting we gave FC a lift home. When we came to the door 'Bubbles' came running out to meet us and gave us big smiles and tentative hugs/wobbles. I was almost in tears of joy.

She is obviously going to be a daddy's girl which i am really happy about. She just seemed to sit happily with gareth and they took to each other really well. it might have been because he had the camera(new toy to play with ). however i didn't feel at all second best or anything like that....I just took joy in watching them together and then she played with me for a bit.

We had lunch with them then instead of going home FC asked if we wanted to stay longer and take her to the park with them....."of course" we said. So we got her dressed for going out and trundled up to the playpark to play on the chutes and swings. She got proper shoes last week so hasn't learnt to slide with shoes on yet...but we'll get there . Then, after about half an hour we headed back to FC house and watched as she was put down for a nap and we had a cuppa and saw some baby photos whilst we talked about intros.

It was sooo easy and relaxed and from the first moment I was 'mummy' and gareth was 'daddy' and it was great.

We went straight from there to the shops to buy bits to get us started. We will get more as we need but she has loads of stuff coming with her so we shouldn't need too much and I think some of the cost will be reimbursed by her council too. (they reimbusrse costs there rather than give you a set 'grant' to spend).

So....that was our first day. if i am not around for a day or two i hope you understand that i will have my hands full but will be thinking of you all - especially Barbarella (fantastic news!!) and JillDill (not long now!!).

magenta xx


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Magenta - lovely to read all about Bubbles and your intros....so exciting for you all.

C - fantastic news for you.  What a wonderful Christmas you will be having.  So thrilled for you all.

Nats - nice to hear from you.  Glad your doggie is doing ok.

PBM - enjoy your holiday.  Nice to hear PB is walking.

Cindy - been thinking of you.  How did it go yesterday?

Jennifer - Have you put your name on the National Adoption Register yet?  

Lisa - great news on your panel date.  Well done on completing HS.

Naoise - can imagine your head being all over the place.  Why don;t you ask your sw for further clarification?

Karen - two years...where has the time gone?

BunBun - good news on the improved panel date.

Hi to everyone else.

Nothing to report here...

Laine


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
What fab news to read today!
Magenta, sounds as though you are going to be very busy, brought tears to my eyes reading your post, the happiness comes rushing out.

Barbarella, another fab bit of news and what a fantastic christmas for you.

PBM, enjoy your holiday.

Cindy, hope all is well.

Lisa,well done on completing your home study.

Hi to everyone else.  Nothing happening hear, just waiting for January!

Love
OT x


----------



## keemjay

awww magenta what a fab post..it sounds like its going to be really full-on for you the next couple of weeks..i hope that it all goes wonderfully...not long till she is home with you  i dont think i'd be able to sleep tonight if i were in your shoes!

barbarella..great news that you should get to panel and everything this year..i'll cross everything that you that your little one is opening a christmas stocking with you    

naoise..all very exciting your end..goodness 3!! isnt it funny how you go from one day life being normal to your head bouncing around with dreams of children..its really mind blowing...

laters all 

kj x


----------



## magenta

oops!

thanks for editing and thank you to all my FF friends who mailed to let me know about my whoopsie.  Just done dinner , bath and bed and all went as well as could be expected for a toddler .

magenta xx


----------



## struthie

Glad its sorted Magenta - was worried when I saw her name - good luck for the future xxx


----------



## superal

Hi Maggie

Glad its going so well...........I was one of those people who PMD you but you know, that we all know how confidential material such as your DD name is, so please don't worry about that.

Hope you have a  good day today as well.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## cindyp

Hooray, hooray I'm back on line.  Thanks for all your good wishes girls, didn't mean to get you wondering but the powerpack for my modem blew Tuesday night and it took me a while to get a new one   

Well, Karen needs to put me in the "Waiting for a Match" group because were were approved for a second adoption yesterday.  Things didn't get off to a great start as we were almost late.  DS announced he wanted to poo in his potty as we were just about to leave, then there was an accident ahead coming out of his nursery and after that two trains at the crossing.  We were the first panel of the day and we arrived with just 60 seconds to spare    It was fairly amusing because the first question they asked was how being adoptive parents had changed our lives and I answered "Well we were 20 minutes early for our first panel and we only just made it in time today so you could say it has made our lives a bit more disorganised!"  They did ask a couple more questions but it was all very straightforward and we were told fairly shortly after that we were being approved.  They told our SW they felt we could cope with anything, although I don't quite agree with that   

Magenta, it sounds like your intros have got off to a great start, everything sounds lovely.  Don't worry too much about the post mistake.  It's only natural to automatically post your daughter's name.  Enjoy the rest of the intro's and I hope she's home soon.   

Barbarella, that's great news about the panel, looks like you're in for a great Xmas.

Naoise, that sounds promising, the possibility of adoption allowances will be because there are three of them.  Andrea is also right, if the children are aware of the concept of Xmas they don't normally like to place them until afterwards.  I must admit you sound braver than me, two under fives is all that I feel that I could cope with.    No wonder you head is all over the place, let us know when you hear some more news.

PBM, hope you and Pooh Bear are enjoying that menorcan sunshine.

Nats, sorry to hear that Snugs has been poorly but glad that the antibiotics have done the trick.  Our DS has also been poorly the last 48 hours and off his food, it's just a bad cold and we've been managing his temperature with Calpol and Nurofen.  Hope the dog's biopsy turns up some positive news.

Lisa, not long till panel.  I know exactly where you're coming from regarding the child's details.  Our old SW mentioned that she was fostering a baby boy a few months back and I couldn't help my imagination going into overdrive.  It's positive that they think you will be easy to match.

Andrea, 10 years?  Wow, I bet the time has flown, in some ways I can't wait to be in your position in others DS is already growing up so fast I want time to stand still  

JD, any news?

To Fiona, Laine, OT, Jennifer, thanks for your wishes.  Looking forward to reading your good news in the near future.

Better go, DS keeps asking if I'm finished so he can look at some photos on the computer.    

love to all
Cindy


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Cindy, great news!!!! I hope your wait isn't too long. Thanks for asking after me we go to matching panel on Monday!!!! We were linked at the start of October with a baby girl just turned 13 months old!! Have you been passed for an age bracket at all obviously younger than DS. 
Naoise, I can't believe your news the possibility of three!!!!! your a brave lass what a fantastic thing if it all happens.
Nats, I hope Snugs is on the mend

Hows everyone else doing KJ, OT, Karen, Jennifer, PBM, Ever, Andrea, Liane, Alex, Pam, AngeK Barbarella and the very busy Maggie I love the fact that there are so many of us now it's great.

Love to all JD x


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Cindy - great news.  Hope you don't have too long to wait

Jennifer - I am sure your little one is out there somewhere.  I have everything crossed you get your Xmas wish

Naoise - Here's the quote from BAAF about allowances "Adoption allowances may be paid under certain circumstances where it is considered that an adoption would not otherwise be possible or practical. An allowance might be paid to help adopters cope with the costs involved for caring for a group of siblings or a child with special needs."  Hope this helps

Lisa - Great news on panel.  That was a bit naughty of the SW, hope you don't have too long to wait.  

Nats - sorry to hear about Snugs and the emergency Dr and how right you are about how quickly you sense something isn't quite right.  Hope he gets better soon.  Woofs and Licks from my dogs to yours and hope he gets better soon too.

PBM - have a great first abroad holiday.  Hope you are getting on ok.

Magenta - Whoops!!  Sounds really exciting to read all about your intro's.  We were doing all this this time 2 years ago, seems like a lifetime ago, but very fond memories.

Laine - hope you are ok

OT - January will be here before you know it.  I even put a meeting in my diary today for next December!!

KJ - hope you are ok.

Andrea - how is the course going?

Jill - good luck for panle on Monday

Well not much going on here.  Dh's birthday tomorrow so off out for a meal with friends.  Eldest now goes to gymnastics classes on a Sat morning and is only 1 element off getting her first badge.  We are going to see my mum and dad on Sunday.  She's doing really well, however she's had Dad looking after her for the last two weeks but he is going back to work on Monday.  

Have a load of stuff to do on my uni course as I am now full flow into my research and dissertation.

Hi to everyone I;ve not mentioned

Love
Karen x


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
CIndy, well done you!  Typical timing for your pc to go wrong, just to keep us all in suspenders a bit longer.  Really hope you get a match soon.

Jill, good luck for Monday.

Magenta, hope you are enjoying the madness at the moment.

Karen, its good to hear your Mum is doing well.  I used to love gymnastics.

Nats, poor Snugs, ear infections are horrid.  Glad he is on the mend and hope your doggie is to.

Naoise, my BIL had 3 girls place together and got loads of financial help but I think this depends on the LA and their budget as well.  I think they all have a budget for this so you should push for the help.

I start a new job on Monday, wasn't planned but due to it being my last companys major customer and them setting up a factory of their own I was going to have to find a job soonish.  The customer offered me a really good package as they have no experience of Buying for a Engineering/Fabrication factory, its nice to be needed!  Will take my mind off the wait for January, though I know it will whizz by.

I think this Christmas will be one of the better ones we've had, the future is a lot more positive than previously with the ivf and even if we are still waiting this time next year for a match we will at least be 'approved to be parents'.  I can't wait for our first Christmas as a family though!

Sorry not mentioned everyone, hope you are all well and have a great weekend planned.
Love
OT x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Just popping in to say...

Cindy - well done! fab news.

Jill - heaps of luck for Monday.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Laine


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone,
It's been a few weeks since I've been on here and so much seems to have happened, all the matches and possible matches are fantastic news, all you new mummies must be so excited. I hope to try and find some time to catch up properly in the next few days!

We've had soem good news this week as our LA contacted us to book us in for our prep course (beginning of December) and to start our HS, we have our first meeting on 30th Nov, after feeling like we were waiting forever, things seem to be happening really fast, our SW seems really organised and very keen to get going. ALthough I know we may wait a while after approval it finally seems like being a mummy is no longer a dream but a reality that will happen at some point in the future. Feel we have a busy few months ahead of us with HS (also trying to do some adoption focused reading) and making the most of enjoying those things that are easier to do when you don't have children, like having the odd lie in!!! Dare I dream that next Christmas we might be a family? As a born optimist I can't help it....in the mean time my gorgeous niece will just have to cope with being spoilt and cuddled constantly instead!

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## keemjay

viva, i'll join the optimists boat and dream about next Christmas    good to hear things are moving along for you 

old timer.. i found last christmas much much easier than previous ones, knowing that we had made a positive step in our lives and that all the uncertainty was finished with. In the back of my mind i half hoped we'd be placed by this Christmas, but as the year went on I knew that wasnt going to happen, but instead we have a fab time lined up with friends and our 7 yr old godson(plus his teenage siblings) visiting us from the States, so for once will have kids opeing stockings in front of the fire on christmas morning..simply cant wait  good luck with your new job

karen, glad to hear your mum is doing well 

cindy - fab news about panel   what a nightmare journey 

jilldill - hope all goes well on monday..soooo exciting  I'm sure mil and fil will be there in spirit with you holding your hands 

laters all
kj x


----------



## jilldill

KJ thank you so much what a lovely thing to say about MIL and FIL.
Love JillDill 
Viva, great news full steam ahead fro you!!!

Love to all JD x


----------



## jan welshy

Congrats Cindy.
No news from us, still very early days but they said we should hear soon re home study visits. This can't come soon enough for us.
L
WelshyXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## Mummyof2

Magenta - sounds like you had a lovely day with Bubbles.  Great news.

Laine - our LA put us on the adoption register when 3 months had gone by and I emailed the adoption register direct to check that we were definitely on there last month, which we are.  No-one had shown any interest in us though I was told 

Cindy - loved the almost late story!   Congratulations on passing panel.  

JD - good luck for tomorrow.  

Superal - thanks for your message.  When we were passed at panel our LA joined us up with Adoption UK so I regularly go on the site.  I have applied for 4 children from children who wait but not been deemed suitable for 3 and waiting to hear within next 2 weeks about other but not holding out much hope as 60 people have applied for littlie.  Thanks for your suggestions though and for thinking about me.  

Bye for now


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to say a big hello to everyone cos I just don't seem to get the time to post on here very often anymore!  

Also huge congrats to everyone who has posted such fantastic news lately - there is sooooo much of it!

Magenta - special message to you to say hope intros are going really well.  I loved your post about your first meeting with your little one.  Hope you're not finding it all too tiring but if you are then that is totally normal and I bet you just can't wait now to be a happy family in your own home.

All good here with Daisy, just bathed her and put her to bed and whilst she was lying down while I changed her nappy she pulled my head towards her and gave me a huge snog full on the lips!!!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks to everyone for the mentions... I still can't believe what the past month has brought for us... 

Anyway, got a bit of time now for personals.. as I've been so busy lately, it's not going to let up, so thought I'd make the most of my evening in...

Cindy - HUGE congrats on being approved... well done.. although you're an old pro at this now..  

Superal - I'm glad I stuck around too... I think I only took about a week off anyway.. lol.  You go through so many emotions.. but the one thing I hung onto was that it WOULD happen sometime...!  

Lisaw36 - brilliant news about panel in December... what a lovely Xmas present you will have being approved.  Hope a linking happens quickly for you.

Nats - I hope Snugs is ok after his trip to A&E... what a worry.  I feel like you about our SW.. we get on so well, and I really want to stay in touch, but am not sure if they would feel it's appropriate.  We clicked straight away...!

Naoise - blimey 3 children..!!  Can't wait to see how it all pans out.. best of luck.

Magenta - am loving reading about your intros... can't wait to start mine in less than a month, all being well.  How's it all going?  Any idea on when she comes home yet??

PBM - hope you are enjoying your first holiday abroad with LO.. 

Karen - can't believe it's 2 years ago already for you.  I remember when I first came onto this forum not long after, and remember your adoption order going through.  WOW, how time flies...!!  Glad things are looking a bit smoother for you at the moment.. 

OT - I remember saying the same thing the last couple of Christmas's - I felt so much more positive. I kept a diary on another site and looking back it's been a joy doing this, as opposed to IVF.  And now here I am with a match. I can't believe it - it's all gone so quickly.

Viva - excellent news about HS starting in November.  Ours started this time last year, so you never know.. you might well be a family by next Xmas... best of luck. 

Lauren - lovely to hear from you.. glad all is well with Daisy.

Laine - I hope you hear of a match soon... !!

Hello to everyone else.. and lots of luck to you all wherever you are on your journeys...  

Love C xx


----------



## cindyp

Just a quickie for JD

Hope you have a great day tomorrow.

love
Cindy


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Thanks everyone for the lovely good luck messages, we are not at panel till later in the day but I will let you know how we get on as soon as I can.
Love JD x


----------



## magenta

Good luck and best wishes for your matching panel JD.

Barbarella - sooooo excited for you!!!

Will do more personals later once Bubbles is at foster home.

Our intros are going well and she is beginning to grasp that we are mummy and daddy.  She is also cottoning on to the fact that things are changing and she isn't quite sure what is going on. So we've had a few tears and a few 'unsure' wee expressions but i think this is a good thing as she is beginning to make the transisition now.  FCs think it is going really well and feel we should move the actual move date forward to thursday or friday this week.  This causes a problem for DH as he can't get off work on thurs or fri due to a very important visit and big work stuff going on.  So...if she moves early it will just be us two girls at home for the first few days. got 2 'girlsonly' days on tuespm and wednesday anyway...just to help us bond and her to be out with just one of us.

Today we are collecting her from FC house and bringing her here for afternoon, trip to local park and then (hopefully) a nap. She refused to nap yesterday at our house - it was all too new; exciting and different for her.  then we'll do dinner, bath and get her ready for bed before taking a sleepy Bubbles back to FC to sleep for the night.  

Tomorrow is 2nd placement meeting so we'll work out move dates etc then.

magenta xx


----------



## Viva

Good Morning all, 
Well I spent 2 hours yesterday trying to catch up on all the news, that will teach me to be away for so long, then had to go and cook Sunday lunch as we had friends over, my mind is a blur with everyone's news, happenings and random frog stories!However here goes with personals...

Magenta, It has been wonderful hearing your news and I'm so pleased that in the end things have gone smoothly and you will have bubbles home long before Christmas.

Barbarella, Fabulous news about Bea and about the Pre-Christmas time scale, I can't believe that she has the name that you would have choosen, it does make it feel so meant to be, one of my stupid thoughts is that the child we may be matched with one day may have a name I would never have choosen in a million years...as if that would matter in reality!

Jan, it's great to hear that your scan has given you the all clear, what's nect for you?

Karen, so glad that your mum's op went well and that the news is so much better than you feared, it really was time for some good news for you, hope you have a lovely time with your friend at the spa day...great idea.

Jilldill, have just realised that it's your panel date today can't wait to hear your news! Again feel that it is really time for some good news for you and your DH.

Val, Sunny sounds lovely and he's obviously settling in well in your family, it's lovely to hear how besotted your daughter is too...there's a 10 year gap between me and my little bro, it was always a good gap and we're really close even now...

Keemjay, was very hapy to hear that you have been approved, all the heartache has been worth it in the end. It must have been a difficult decision to make about the littlies you were approached about, lets hope it won't be long before you are being apporached about the children that are just right for you!

Laine, just wanted to send you a big hug and say that I really hope that it is your turn soon, it must take real strength to turn down a potential match, but only you will know when it is right and it's too big a decision to get wrong!

Cindy, great news about being approved for number two, have you found some time to celebrate?

Naiose, have you thought any further about the girls that you have been approached about? 

Lauren, Daisy sounds as if she's settled in so well, she obviously loves her Mummy!

OT, I was looking at your signature, that you're doing your prep course in January, we're doing ours in December, so we are around the same stage!

Jennifer, sorry to hear that your wait is taking so long...I can't say that I'm looking forward to that part of the adoption process! 

Nats, I hope that Snugs is feeling better by now, ear infections are nasty, my God Daughter tends to get them quite frequently.

PBM, Have a fab holiday!

Lisa, I hope that your form F makes happy reading!

Bunbun, great news that's your panel has been moved forward, I though they only moved them back!!!

Hello to Superal, Boomer, Ruthie, Molly, Katiea, Fiona, Rhiana, Sanita, welcome to Twinkle......and   to anyone else, I've forgotten, I'm off to excercise some willpower and do some house work on my day off!

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## superal

sooooooooo much going on and sooooooooo much news, isn't it wonderful.

Jilldill - hope everything has gone OK today.

Jennifer - Thanks for the message, I hope you get to hear something soon & if its any consolation, myself & DH were chosen for our DS and about 60 other couples had wanted to adopt him as well, after his photo appeared in Be My parent.

Barbarella - I'm GLAD you stuck around, who else would talk to me about Simon Le Bon!! 

Maggie - sounds as though everything is going to plan with Bubbles & I'm sure she know you are hr Mummy & Daddy & a few tears on the way from both parties prove everyone is normal!!

Hello to everyone else, I was going to do some more personals but DD has just informed me she wants to hoover up, I don't want to stop this enthusiasm as it will stop when she is older and she realises it's a chore, better go and supervise!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## naoise

Hi ladies

Things are just soo optimistic here at the minute is soo lovely coming on and hearing all the great stories it really does lift me.

We haven't heard anything else about the three girls but my sw did say that she would not be in contact soon about them but I think that if she hasn't rang me by the end of next week I will definitely give her a ring.

Viva I know exactly what you mean about the names I worry that the children will have really wacky names but as you say in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter.

Viva and OT all the best for your prep courses we found ours really enjoyable

Karen hope your dh had a great birthday.

Better go dh is just home and will be wanting some dinner.

Barbarella you must be soo excited you lucky thing what a great Xmas you will all have.


----------



## jan welshy

I allways feel so guilty. You lot always manage to respond to everyone. I do not have the brain power to do it!!!!!!!!!

Hope you are all well and hope National Adoption week brings us all the bundles of joy we pray and hope for.

Love#
WelshyXXXXXXXX


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks Viva and Naoise - we felt the same way about the name.  DH and I were soooo nervous before SW turned up to tell us her name.  We were so relieved.  It is a big thing... but I think with most names you can do something, shorten it or whatever, so shouldn't be a problem.  They do say that if you really can't get on with a name, then it's probably the wrong child.  I know it sounds shallow but I do feel that there is something in that.  The little boy we were matched with before Bea, we didn't like his name at all.. and we knew pretty quickly into the SW session that we weren't going to go ahead - of course not just because of his name, but it didn't feel/sound right at all.

Thanks Superal... I am definitely happy to have another SLB fan as a friend..!!    

Take care all...
Cxx


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

I have been away from the boards for a few days so need to catch up.

We posted our application form and prep course feedback form today, SW says we could be at panel by April 07.

This time next year we may have  a baby in our family!!!!

Right off to watch Pride of Britian and have a cry (i even cry at x factor these days!!!)

Fiona


----------



## Emcon

Hi to all

Sorry I haven't posted for a couple of weeks, life has been busy but fantastic too.  We feel complete as a family at long last, Molly is fabulous, we all feel as if she has always been with us.  Our DH and Molly get on great which is big weight off our minds!  we had our first review yesterday which went well, we can apply the end of Jan to legally adopt Molly so counting off the days until then.

Hope you are all doing ok, there is some really positive news on here at the moment, sorry no time to do personals but thinking of you all.

Love

Em


----------



## sanita

Hi all, 

Apologies, but a bit of a 'me' post coming.

We go to approval panel in less than 2 weeks.  I went to drop off our signed Form F yesterday and our SW collared me for a chat.  DH was at work, so I had gone alone.  DH has 2 grown up sons, who live about a 5 hour journey away from us.  He divorced their mother when the boys were young teenagers.  Over the years since, DH has supported them financially, until they were 24 and 21 and has kept in contact with them.  Both of the boys were interviewed by our SW as part of the process, but obviously what they said is confidential.  Our SW told me yesterday that DH should expect a bit of a grilling at panel about his relationship with the boys and the kind of father he was.  I tried to push her to be more specific as it is very difficult to explain your actions, when you don't know exactly what it is they're getting it, but she couldn't say anymore than she had.  It is a difficult situation as the panel members will see the details of what the boys have said, but we won't.  

DH and I are now worried sick about panel.  DH spoke to his sons a couple of weeks after they were interviewed by our SW, but they only said that it all went fine and when DH tried to get more details out of them, they changed the subject.

DH wants to go and see our SW again before panel to try and get to the bottom of this, but I don't think there is any more she can tell us.

Any advice please.


----------



## Viva

Dear Sanita, 
I feel completely unqualified to give you advice, however from what SW's have said to us so far, I would find it strange that they would let you go to panel if they thought that you would be turned down. I can entirely understand your concerns, but I doubt the SW's would have let you get this far if they wer eworried about your DH's ability to be a good father, I guess with all things being open and honest is the best approach to what ever they may ask about.

I doubt it would hurt for your DH to give your SW a call and have a chat, but soem of the girls who are futher down the line may have other thoughts.

Hope things resolve for you soon
Love Viva


----------



## Val 12

Hi Sanita,

poor you to have to deal with this now. The SW will probably have asked the boys how they felt about their parents divorce and how it affected them and their relationship with their father. Was it an amicable divorce or was there a lot of bitterness? Their mother may have been badly affected and they may have witnessed their mother upset which may have affected what they said to the SW. As both the boys are grown up and in their twenties I can hardly see them being malicious and saying something that would affect panel. They obviously realise how important it is to you both. Also if there were any problems that may affect a positive outcome at panel, they are usually identified before then.

The SW had to speak to my ex husband and his partner at the time and she was a bit of a pain and did try to stir things up but my SW said they were used to that sort of thing so ignored her because she had nothing to do with our relationship. They also asked my dd how our divorce affected her and how she felt about her stepdad and if she loved him the same as her birth father !!!! They also asked dd how she felt about us adopting and if she'd feel left out. I'm not sure what else they asked her because I had to go out of the room and pretend I was doing the ironing even though I was desperate to find out what was being said.

Our SW told us to expect a lot of questions about how dd would feel and about her relationship with both dads but they didn't ask us anything awful that we couldn't answer. Remember, they want to approve you, they are not trying to catch you out. They just want to make sure all options have been explored. Our SW sonded very similar to yours, she didn't give much away but what she did say had us worrying for days. Please don't worry, have another word with your SW as it may reassure you both and lots of luck for panel. Better go, Sunny is hitting the dog with a wooden spoon,

Val xx


----------



## fiona1

Sanita,

Sorry i can't help with your question, however i would echo what viba said i don't think your SW would have let you get this far if there was any 'issues'

Good Luck

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Hi Girls

Sanita, I'm not really qualified to respond to your question but like Val, I feel that they wouldn't let you get to panel if they thought there would be a problem with your approval.  I think your SW was just trying to warn you that the subject could come up so that you and your DH don't start thinking "what's that got to do with our adoption?".  If they do ask DH about it and there is no guarantee that they will, all he can do is be honest and respond to their questions truthfully.  Just because people get divorced doesn't mean that they have a bad relationship with their kids and often it's better for the kids if two people who don't get on split. Unfortunately we go to these panels feeling that these people have our lives in our hands (and they do) so we are rather nervous.  The truth is that they are ordinary people who want to approve us because that means there are more parents available for the children.  As far as they are concerned the Form F tells them that we are worth approving and they just want to meet us and confirm what's been written down is true.  Just be yourselves and stick to the facts.  Best of luck.

Em, glad your first review went well, everything sounds really positive with Molly and I bet you're looking forward to getting that legal adoption paper.  

Fiona, April sounds good, not too long at all.  Hope you enjoyed having a good blub at Pride of Britain  

Jan, don't feel guilty, there are so many of us on here now it's hard to keep up.  

Viva, not long till the prep course, getting excited?

Karen, glad to hear your Mum is doing well.  Hope you and DH enjoyed the birthday meal, if only Leeds could have got him a few more points to make his birthday a bit better.  

Lauren, LOL at Daisy giving you a snog, I wish my DS was more like that as when I try to give him a kiss it's all "Go away Mummy, watching telly" in an exasperated voice.  I'm sure he's a teenager in a toddler's body   

Will have to ring off, DS is waking up.  Love to everyone else I've missed.

My quick news is that the Exchange Day I attended was a positive experience and we have asked for further details on a couple of children.  Won't say too much more as I don't want to jinx anything but will keep my fingers crossed.

love
Cindy


----------



## askingangels

everyone

There is so much good news on here it is definately making me realise that we have made the right decision.

We finished our Prep Course yesterday.  We both really enjoyed it and it opened our eyes to thing we hadnt really thought about. Although it hasnt put us off more like confirming this is right for us.

My dh has said he thinks we should up our age limit which I wanted to do before the course. It just takes him a bit longer. As we have asked for a sibling group (glutten for punishment) a bigger age range gives us more scope. SW said it was a good decision.

We probably wont start hs until after christmas which was disappointing. I want to get going with the next stage. I feel like we were waiting all the time for tx. It just feels like its being put off. I know its not and its just that they are very busy.

Sorry for lack of personnals and the me post but I will be back later.

Lots of love

Askingangels. xxx


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## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Hope everyone is doing ok. I have just got back from a few days at home with my folks. We don't meet Sunshine until Tuesday now so 2 more sleeps! 
Askingangels, well done on completeing the prep course, I found ours very tough going it's a big hurdle to get through
Sanita, it's easy to say I know but try not to worry our SW E mailed 2 days before panel about DH's ex wife wanted details of how we had tried to contact her and various other details. They have to cross every T and dot every I that's their job but I know from experience it can worry you.
Em, really glad everything is going so well!
Fiona, April is really round the corner settle in for a great Christmas and it will soon be here. You are not alone crying at the X Factor, pathetic isn't it!!! Robert broke my heart last night
Lauren, Daisy sounds so gorgeous I bet your enjoying every second
Cindy, I hope you get some positive response from your exchange day
Val, how funny yes I will have Sunshine trained up for letter writing to Sunny as soon as possible!!!!
Jan, you don't have to do personals it's just good to hear your news
Andrea, hope you are doing ok
KJ, how are you?
Nats, hope all is well with you and DS
Rianna, how are you feeling?

A big hello to everyone else love JD xx


----------



## sanita

Thanks to all of you that have offered me your support and advice.  DH did go and see our SW.  They had another chat about his relationship with his children.  Our SW thinks that the panel may ask to see her alone and ask her to explain about DH and his sons as it will be too difficult for panel to ask us questions without giving away the confidentiality of the boys interviews.  So our SW wanted to make sure she understood 100% our perspective on things so that she can represent us properly.  DH wasn't a bad father to his boys, but he was a pretty absent one.  He used to be a bit of a workaholic and also left the family home when the boys were young teenagers.  So, ten days to panel and will shall have to wait and see what the verdict is.

JD - Best of luck with your two more sleeps til you meet Sunshine.  I bet you'll be too excited to sleep much.

Askingangels - Glad prep groups went well.  You are now well and truly on your way.

Cindy - Hope you get the details you asked for soon and that they are what you are looking for and thanks for your words of reassurance.

Val and Viva - Thanks for your advice.  Very much appreciated.

Magenta - Thinking of you and hope all is still going well.  Hopefully Bubbles will be home with you by now.

Enjoy what's left of the weekend everyone.


----------



## Jo

Hi Girls 

So much going on here 

I hope everyone on here gets the children they deserve 

We are stopping the adoption route at the moment, it has been so slow, so we are going to stop it and maybe go back to it next year.

We have our 40th party coming up real soon, then Christmas and then we are going to New Zealand for a holiday   and I have also just started the drugs for my M.S and there is so many appointment at hospitals and nurses come to the house, feel I need to get these injections sorted.

Good Luck to everyone, may all your dreams come true.

Take care

Love Jo
x x x


----------



## fiona1

Jo - What a difficult decision, i hope you have a great holioday in New Zealand and next year will be a new start for you and you future family.

Good Luck

Fiona


----------



## jilldill

Hi Jo,
Just wanted to wish you all the best with your treatment and have a wonderful party and holiday,
Take care JD x


----------



## cindyp

Jo, it can't have been an easy decision for you to take a break and I hope you really enjoy all the things you've got planned to do.  Best of luck with your treatment.

love
Cindy


----------



## superal

Hi everyone - been off line for a few days and have had withdrawal symptoms!! 

We are through to the next stage with the puppy dog walking for the guide dogs for the blind, yippee, it's like going through the adoption process all over again......well not quite as stressful but you have to have referees and CRB checks and they have to come out and do a home study and you have to attend a prep day!! 

Apart from that & my DH arranging to take me away for my 40th birthday not a lot is happening here.

Hope all are well and for the ones who are still waiting don't give up hope.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## maria21

hi everyone
well thats my prep course over ...will miss it really enjoyed the sessions on a monday night ...was told last night to phone my agency and tell my social worker we wanted to go to the next stage which is the home study but of course she wasnt there she was on a course today    ..i just want to start the process rolling now getting impatient   hopefully she will be there tomorrow ..getting really excited now 
just want to wish each and everyone of you the best of luck at wotever stage you are at 
speak to all soon
luv maria xx


----------



## melaniejhodson

Hi maria and everyone

Congrats on getting through the prep course!
I know what you mean about missing the prep course, never thought I'd say that!  I was dreading it as I'm not socially confident in large groups. 

We are half way through home visits now, still hoping to go to panel in March, and are really enjoying them. I even think I'll miss our social worker visits when home study is finished.  

Dh and I are very excited at the moment but I'm worried i'll feel deflated and have a sense of anti climax when panel's over (if we pass) and then the waiting game starts.

Wish you all love and luck for all stages.


----------



## KarenM

Hi Girls

Well I am stalling I need to do the literature review for my dissertation and have a pile of books to wade through but I'm just putting it off.

Fiona - great news on your target of April for panel

Em - so glad that you are settling with "Molly" and enjoying being a family

Sanita - good luck for panel.  Sorry I can't help with your specific dilemma, but i am sure your SW would have told you ore if it is something that may hold you back.

Cindy - hope you hear something from one of your enquiries.

AskingAngels - great to hear that you feel so positive.  Well done on completing the prep course and good luck for your home study

Jo - you have to do what is right and your health comes first.  Hope you have a great 40th celebration (Rich has his next year along with half a dozen mates, so we are planning our first trip away from the girls)  Have a wonderful time in NZ, my brother is there for a 3 month tour right now.

Andrea - wow big celebrations for you too.  Great news on the puppy dog training.

Maria - well done on completing the prep course and good luck for the home study

Melanie - sounds like you are making good progress too.  Good luck for the rest of your HS

Hi to everyone else I've not mentioned.  We've been busy organising for birthdays and Xmas.  The kids have got their nursery photo tomorrow (so wish I could share piccy's with people on here) and I've brought them new outfits to wear.

Work is really awful (has been for some time, but as usual I've been stalling) and so I am looking for another job.  The intention is if I find the right job Rich will go part time/give up work for a bit to concentrate some time on the kids.  Uni work is getting to be really time consuming as I am now in full flow with my dissertation, roll on next May!!

Anyway better read something otherwise I will feel guilty in the morning.

Bye for now
Karen x


----------



## jan welshy

Have so much respect for you Jo. Take care and enjoy everything you hae planned to do.

As for us, phoned sw today, they receieved our medicals and 'were going to phoneus' as they need DH's full medicals. It seems they have only been given from 2002 onwards. Very odd but DH has to sort it tomorrow (hope this doesn't affect us, shouldn't do). 
Good news is they want us to do a course at beginning of January, so looks like things are moving again.

Hope you are all well.
Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## magenta

hello everyone.

no time for personals.  have grabbed 5 minutes whilst Bubbles is playing with her dad downstairs.

Everything is going well. she moved in on friday and is well settled.  We are dealing with teething and a cold however which isn't great - but at least we have seen her in all different moods!


magenta xx


----------



## Mummyof2

maggie - glad that bubbles has settled in well.  A cold and teething and settling in   You got chucked into parenthood at the deep end  

Jan - hope dh gets his medical records sorted.

Karen - good luck with the dissertation. My dh will be 40 in 2 years time and I am already wondering what to do for it as a celebration.  Hope the photo turns out well.  Ds had his school photo recently and looks very handsome in it.  We will be sending photos out as part Christmas presents to the grandparents etc.

Hi to everyone else.

No news here.


----------



## maria21

hi everyone
well phoned my social worker and my assessment wont be till after the new year    ohhh i just want to get started   im not very patient   suppose i will have to be now ...good luck to everyone luv maria x


----------



## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just having a quick catch up on everyones news while Daisy is sleeping.  Not sure for how long cos I am now in the throes of dealing with her and nasty chest infection.  She is on antiobiotics and hopefully coming out of the worst of it now.  I think she is really susceptible to everything going cos prior to moving in with us she really hadn't interacted with other children at all so hadn't built up any immunity.  Now it seems as soon as we come into contact with another "runny nose" she catches it!  The joys of motherhood!  But of course I wouldn't change a thing!

Magenta - glad Bubbles is settling in well.  You really have been thrown in at the deep end of motherhood what with a cold and teething!

Karen - you are truly super woman!  I know what you mean about wishing you could post photos of your littlies.  You just feel so proud you want to show them off don't you?

Maria - I know it doesn't seem that way now, but the new year will fly round.  We were actually in a similar situation to you this time last year having finished our prep course beg of Nov and then waited until Feb to start homestudy and now look where we are!  Adoption is really a test of patience isn't it?

Jan - great news things are moving for you and you will be doing your course in January.

Jo - Just wanted to say good luck to you with everything and send you a big hug and lots of love.

Melanie - looks like you're steaming ahead with your homestudy.  Panel will be round before you know it and then you never know what's round the corner.

Thats my limit I'm afraid for today as have to grab lunch before Daisy wakes up!  Hi to everyone I've missed and I know there are loads of you!

Just a quickie - I have posted a parenting question on the sub board but now sure if anyone looks on there much anymore!

Lots of love
Lauren xxx


----------



## maria21

hi lauren
you really made me smile thank you so much for the reasurance ....i know it wont be long i just cant wait to be finally a mum...
im so pleased it is  working out so well for you and your little one ..im sure its so exciting this year with xmas coming up good luck and hope this xmas is all you have dreamed of with your little one 
luv maria xxx


----------



## fiona1

Where are you all??

It's so quiet on here. I am laid up with a sore throat and aches and pains today. i dropped Elliot off at school then slep on the sofa until 12.30. I know i must be ill as i'd not normally do that.

Hope you are all ok, we have no news here waiting for SS to phone and arrange to come out and give us feedback on the prep course so we can start the Home Study.

Just booked 2 nights in Lapland, can't wait, think i may need a box of tissues when we get to meet Santa.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Just a quickie whilst Junior is watching Bob the Builder that I taped earlier for him.

Fiona, sorry to read you're feeling poorly.  You must be ill, I know as a Mum you're unlikely to go to bed unless you really have to.  Lapland should be good, my friend went with her Mum and her two kids and absolutely loved it.

Magenta, great to read that Bubbles is settling in so well.  A cold and teething is never fun so you have my sympathies.  Fortunately we're past the teething stage but colds are worse now  

Lauren, sorry to read Daisy has had the dreaded cold/chest virus.  Junior has had it for the best part of two weeks but is finally over it now.  Unfortunately it's par for the course especially at this time of the year when every bug going seems to go round.

Maria, glad to hear you enjoyed the prep course and sorry to read about the delay with the HS.  Unfortunately this adoption process is all about the waiting as I know quite a few others can confirm.

Jen, I bet it makes you really proud looking at DS school photos, we've recently had our first playgroup photos and I wanted to send one to everyone even though Junior had a stain on his top.  It's so frustrating that you haven't had any news yet, fingers crossed for the New Year.

Jan, good to hear things are on the move again.  Shame about the mix up with DH's medicals, there always has to be something  

Karen, Lauren is right you are superwoman.  Hope you can find a new job soon.  Like you I wish we could share photos on here.  I wonder would a password protected gallery work do you think?  We'll definitely have to have another meet up in the New Year to show off all our kiddies.

Melanie, nearly there.  You can have that deflated feeling after panel as unfortunately it's not the end of the rollercoaster but it will disappear once you've been matched.  

Andrea, where's DH taking you?  Mine took me to the Costa Del Sol for mine which was nice although the weather wasn't brilliant as my birthday is in February  

JD, any more news on Sunny?

We've started a new waiting game.  Panel is over and now it's finding a match.  I saw a little kiddie at the Exchange Day last week but it seems their SW and mine just keep leaving telephone messages for each other and haven't managed to arrange to forward details.  Very frustrating to say the least.  As it happens this child sounds so perfect there is bound to be a hitch like 80,000 other couples wanting to adopt them.
In the meantime my friend has kindly offered to babysist Junior whilst DH and I have a romantic weekend away at the Boulougne Xmas market in December.  It's nearly a 5 hour drive one way for us but am still looking forward to it.  Might bring back some wine too   

love to all
Cindy


----------



## naoise

Hi girls,

Fiona sorry that you aren't well I had a sore throat last week but have got over the worst of it now. Plenty of hot drinks for you.  Hope you have a good time in Lapland.

Cindy I hope that the sws find each other soon and you find out a bit more about the child you are interested in.

Melanie I know how you feel when we passed panel we were on a high now it feels like that we will never be matched.

We have no news at all I rang my sw yesterday to see if there is any developments about the girls that they told us about and the short answer is no. And my sw is on holiday next week so we will have to wait a bit more. Realistically I know that it will be after Xmas till anything happens so we will just have to sit back and enjoy our last Christmas as a couple. I have a sneaking suspicion that I was thinking that last year as well Hoo Hum I am off to brave the snow and take Sorcha for a walk. We are off for a meal and then going to see Pink in concert so should be a good night.

Hello to everybody

K


----------



## Mummyof2

Naoise - wow, Pink in concert will be great I am sure.  Know what you mean about thinking last Christmas would be your last without having a new addition to the family.

Fiona - I've always wanted to go to Lapland - sounds fantastic.  Lucky you.  Hope you feel better soon.

Cindy - fingers crossed that all will come right with this little child.  You are right - photos of our sons are great and make you a proud mummy.

Still no news here on the adoption front.  Dh has got a new job though so he is pleased.  I met my friend for lunch and had a nice time catching up on all the goss.

Bye for now.


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Been AWOL for a while due to starting new job and nothing happening as far as the adoption process goes.  Am trying to get the dates for the Jan prep course in order to ensure I get them booked off but SS haven't yet got back to me.  New job is going well, really busy so the days are flying by and taking my mind off things a bit.

Sorry no personals, will catch up properly soon.
Love
OT x


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi Girls,

I hope you dont mind me joining this thread, I did post a few weeks back to say we were going on our adoption open day.

It went really well and a lovely couple came over to us who chatted to us for a while they already had adopted and were wanting to adopt another toddler/child, it was very interesting talking to them bless. It broke my heart when I saw stands of toddlers/childrens/family's that needed adopting bless them. 

Anyways my self and hub have decided to adopt and Im really excited its like a weight has been lifted and I feel there is some direction for us now. I sort of felt like I was hanging in the air with things.  I know its going to be a long journey but in the scheme of things its worth the waite.  

Can I just ask you girlies is there anything we can do in the meantime  to help with the process I have already read a book and been on various web sites.

Good luck to everyone going through the process and I hope all you new mums/dads are having fun... 

Butterfly hugs 
~Twinkle~


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Twinkle, welcome again.  Glad you are feeling so positive.  There is a long list of recommended reading on here under the specific topic "Books Worth Reading" if you search for it.  Apart from that there is not a lot you can do before going on the preparation course to prepare yourself for adoption.  If you do not have much experience of childcare you could look at going to help out at a local playgroup or similar as a volunteer.  Another thing is to make sure that you have a support group of people who will help out when your littlie arrives ie nearby friends and family.  Experience and support network are essentials before adopting so it would be good to have it in place before being asked about it by your social worker (when you get allocated one).

All the best


----------



## CAREbear1

Hi

Would like to introduce myself on this board. Have been a member of FF for 2 years now during my IVF journey. That journey has to now come to an end, and I have decided to move to a different path towards Mummyhood. I have phoned social services this morning and they are sending out an info pack. So excited as this is where it all begins. I have been reading posts on this thread for a while, but thought I would now take the plunge and join in.
Off to look at list of books now


----------



## spooq

Hiya,

DH and I have just started our journey too.  We have recently made the decision not to undergo fertility treatment and instead, explore the possibility of adoption.  We are really keen and looking forward to going to an open day - hopefully in Jan.  Spoken to the LA SW this morning, the info pack is coming out this week, and ordered a couple of books from the BAAF website which we're looking forward to reading.


----------



## fiona1

Hi to Suzi and Carebear, good luck with your adoption journey, we are waiting to start the Home Study. Just ask if you want any info, can't say i will be able to help, with my limited experiance, but there are lots of people on here who have adopted once some even twice.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Just in from another wonderful day of intros it is all moving so well and we are falling for Sunshine more and more by the second.

A big hello to Suzie, Twinkle and Carebear you are in very good company here, anything you need to know one or other of us will have some sort of an answer or at least support.

Hope everyone is ok lots of love JD x


----------



## saphy75

just a quickie  to welcome carebear and suzi to the adoption thread, as the others have said just ask if you want to know anything and we'll all try our best to help 

pam xx


----------



## Jo

I too would like to welcome Suzi and Carebear  

May your journey to your children, be a happy and speedy one  

Carebear, love being sent to you, so pleased you are here x x 


Hi to everyone else on here , I am still reading 

love Jo
x x x


----------



## spooq

Thanks for all your welcomes  

It'll probably take me a while to get to know you all and your current situations etc... so bear with me, lol!

Just waiting for the books and info pack to come through so we'll have plenty of reading to do over Xmas.  I guess our journey won't really start until 2007


----------



## keemjay

hiya all 

welcome to suzi and carebear  and hello again to twinkle 

jill glad things are coming on so well for you..i get all tingly reading about peoples intros..just cant wait for it to be us

nothing much going on here..i wrote a letter of complaint a few weeks back about the 'difficult situation' in our homestudy and have had a reply with an apology and detailing the new measures they have in place now to stop it happening again. I am satisfied with that so the matter is now closed 

we have been sent the forms to go onto the national register which i'm surprised about as i thought we had to wait. our LA will not let you use the post adoptive support service if you adopt out of county, (which i find ridiculous,and totally against the best needs of a child) they seemed very keen to keep their adopters to themselves..in which case I'm wondering why on earth they have sents the forms to go on the register 

question for you all..how do you think your social worker goes about finding you a child? I was under the impression that sw's get profiles of children to look at and decides if any of 'their' couples would be a good match, or maybe that she would be handing our form F /profile out to people in the family finding team? our sw gave me a different scenario..that she gets given only profiles which someone else has thought to be a good match for us..basically people that sit on all the panels and knows which couples and children are coming in and out of the system. our sw says she wouldnt be able to chat amongst other staff and say (for instance) 'anyone know any 1-3 yr olds who might be a match for ther x's?' nor could anyone approach her and say 'I've just heard of a 1 yr old who might be a match for the x's) I'm wondering how on earth we will get placed if our sw isnt actively DOING anything 
anyone have an idea of how it all works behind the scenes?
kj x


----------



## saphy75

Keemjay our sw told us that post aoption support had to legally be provided by our LA after a set period of time, (in our case 2 years) not sure how true it is but maybe you should look into it, maybe the baaf website would be a good place to look 

Jo, good to see you are still around hun

pam xx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody 

Keemjay you have really gave me something to think about, I never really thought about how we would be matched. But I think I will have to have a chat with my sw next time she is in work.

Welcome to Suzi and carebear I hope everything runs quickly and smoothly for you both.

Jilldill Sunshine sounds wonderful and I think the love oozes from the page. Good Luck.

Absolutely nothing to report here just waiting for Xmas.

LOL K


----------



## Val 12

Hi girls,
would like to say a huge hello and welcome to Twinkle, Suzi and Carebear  
This site really is fab for any advice you may need. 
Congrats Molly on your court date, I can't wait for ours.
Jilldill so glad the intros are going well, it's surprising how quickly your feelings turn to love. I love Sunny as much as if i'd given birth to him. Unfortunately cannot say the same thing for the dog, better go she's getting her tail pulled again,
Val xx


----------



## spooq

HHhhmmmmm...think we've just hit our first bump in the road. Had an email from the SW telling us that we "shouldn't even be enquiring just now" c'os we've only recently been told that we'd need ICSI but have decided against fertility treatment and instead, see adoption as our next step. I've asked when would be appropriate for us to 'enquire' as we know that we will not have biological children but really want to be parents and have chosen not to undergo ICSI etc....  I was feeling quite positive this morning and this has made me feel really down again.  We've chosen not to try any further for a biological child so what difference does it make if we're only allowed to enquire say in 6 months time instead of now?  I know they say you need time to grieve...but it'll not change how we feel


----------



## magenta

oh suzie . hang in there. 6months will fly by. I promise.

The reason they often make you wait 6 months/1year is so that you are absolutely sure that adoption is actually *right * for you and not just 'another way to get a child' once other options fail or treatments aren't suitable. To do adoption you need to be 100% sure about it and not be harbouring little hopes for tx or a birth child later etc etc. You need to let go of the deam of a birth child - grieve for it and fee able to give that love to another persons child. It isn't fair on you , the sw'ers who are helping you and especially not your future child who needs to know they are the only special child in your heart.

But if you are already sure it is right (which i think you do) you can really make good use of the time buy reading up on adoption; posting on here; joining your local adoption uk group and getting practical experience of looking after children of all different ages and stages. this will give you a 'head start' when it comes to your time to do prep course and home study and (trust me on this) will be a real bonus when you get only a few weeks notice of your newly matched child and are trying to work out what they will be like developmentally.

We waited 6months from first visit to prep course due to a lack of courses but it was a really good six months in our journey although it seemed forever at the time. We used the time to read and learn and it has helped us ever step of the journey since.

magenta xx


----------



## spooq

Panic over.  Spoke to SW again and they said that as long as we have completed infertility investigations it should be okay.  This was all completed recently and we were then recommended to be referred for ICSI.  But we've decided we don't want to undergo fertility treatment; not at all...so maybe we are in a slightly unusual situation in that, most people will at least try it once.  However, SW said the Info Pack is on its way out and we will receive an invitation to attend an Info Evening as soon as the next 0-2 one is arranged (though we'd consider older children).  Told him that we'd already ordered books from BAAF website because we want to do as much as we possibly can.  Neither DH or I have experience with adoption other than having known school friends who were adopted, and as we are both the eldest in our family's generations and there are no neices or nephews, we have no current experience of babies or kids.  Magenta - you mentioned that its a good idea to get involved in some way - any suggestions?


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Suzi, Twinkle & Carebear - welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.

Jo - will be sending you an im.

Jill - glad the intros with Sunshine are going well for you.

Molly - fab news on the court date.

OT  - pleased to hear you are enjoying your new job.

Jennifer - hope dh enjoys his new job.

K - how was the Pink concert?

Magenta - glad that Bubbles is settling in ok.

Maria - the New Year will soon be here and you will be on your way.

Cindy - any news on the littlie?

Lauren - hope Daisy is ok now?

Jan - glad things are moving for you.

Hi to everyone else.

No news from me  

Laine


----------



## keemjay

suzipooh
if you've got friends with kids now is the time to start offering to babysit,taking them to the park, going out with them for the day, having them stay over at yours, or just generally spending time hanging out with them esp over mealtimes/bathtimes etc
if you havent any friends with children then you could offer to help at your local playgroup/reception class/brownies/beavers etc. (you may have to get a letter from SS confirming you are trying to gain experience in readiness for adoption.) they will all require you to have a CRB check , they might do this for you but if not often this is one of the first things that SS do when they take you on so hopefully you'll be cleared soon anyway. Further down the line SS may be able to organise some experince in one of their family centres..they are usually very helpful as they realise not everyone has easy access to children

kj x


----------



## cindyp

KJ, I think there are generally people within the LA called Family Finders who act like matchmakers.  They go through details of adopters and try and see if they would be suitable parents for the children they have on file.  Then, if they find some suitable adopters, they approach the adopters's SW to ask if they would be interested in the child.  It's not over then because they will often approach more than one potential adopter.  So unfortunately you are right, it's not so much a case of our SW's being pro-active as them waiting to see who's interested in you.  After a certain period of time your LA is normally obliged to pass your details out of county for more Family Finders to look at, I think it's 3 months but I'm not certain.  It's rather frustrating which is why it helps to look at the adoption magazines and attend any Exhange Days/Events you are invited to in order to try and gain a bit more control and search yourself.  The worse thing about this process is the realisation that because the child's needs are always first (and I'm not saying that is a bad thing) we tend to be treated more like job applicants rather than people to be courted.  

In our case we've come across a child that would be perfect from the Exchange Day I attended two weeks ago.  Although we were only just approved our SW knew there were no suitable children coming through in our county so said we could start looking further afield straight away.  Our SW has passed on our details to the child's SW but there are several other couples interested so we just have to wait to see if we get shortlisted.  So keep your fingers crossed everyone as we are now on our "two week wait"   .

Love to everyone else.

Cindy


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Intros are going really well and we are falling for Sunshine more and more by the minute.
I wont do personals just now but hope you are all ok lots of love JD x


----------



## thespouses

Very quiet here, we took in our CRB forms yesterday but then I'm off to Indonesia for work (are you jealous?)  next Tuesday till the 17th Dec.  Sadly husband can't come out for Christmas (too expensive, and his mother needs us - lost his father this year).  But that will be more or less it on the adoption front till hopefully we start home study in Jan.


----------



## KarenM

Hi Everyone

Sorry I've been AWOL for a little while but I had my two little ones birthday's last week sp have been busy with visitors and trying to find room in the house for all the toys.  They have had a great time and have had some lovely things.  Hard to believe where time goes.

Welcome to Suzipooh, Twinkle and Carebear - goo dluck to yuo on your journey's

Suzi - I didn't have any tx and didn't have to wait.  We found out in the November.  Decided to have Xmas to get our thoughts in order and enjoy it without anything hanging over us and then enquired in the new year, and the rest they say is history

KJ - Our set up for matching is how Cindy described.  

Jill - glad to hear your intro's are going well.  Not long until Sunshine will be home with her Mummy and daddy 

Hi to everyone else.  Sorry that I am not aroujnd much at the moment but I am knee deep in books for my dissertation.  I am also looking to change jobs and have an interview on Friday.

Take care
Love
Karen x


----------



## sanita

Morning all,

It's panel this morning hence the ridiculous hour that I'm on here looking for inspiration.  And as usual this place is inspiring.

Welcome to susziepooh, Twinkle and Carebear.  

Lovely to hear all is still going well with Sunshine JD

Hope you hear some positive news soon Cindy

Enjoy Indonesia Katiea

Hi, to everyone else at the various stages of waiting.


----------



## magenta

best of luck Sanita.  i will be thinking of you.

I am sure everything will be great but will send up some prayers to keep you as peaceful as possible as I know how horribly stressfu it can be.

magenta xx


----------



## keemjay

ooh sanita, didnt realise it was today

  hope all goes well.

gotta fly, off to part 2 of a makaton course which I'm really enjoying...

thanks to all who repied re sw and matching.. really helpful info 

love to all

kj x


----------



## fiona1

Sanita,

All the best for today, i am sure you will be fine.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## naoise

Sanita and dh 

All the best for today I am sure all will be fine.

Looking forward to your hearing your good news later.

LOL K


----------



## jilldill

Hi Sanita,
You wont have needed luck but I hope it all went well let as know as soon as you can
Love JD xx


----------



## sanita

Well we got approved by the skin of our teeth and panel have recommended that our SW does some further work with us before we proceed to the next stages.       

The issue I posted about recently in relation to DHs grown up birth kids seems to be the fly in the ointment.  The panel decision to approve wasn't unanimous and it hurts to think that whatever DHs kids have said leads some people on the panel to think that we are not suitable to adopt.

We had no time to talk with our SW following the panels decision and we were ushered out with a billion questions buzzing in our heads.  

It has really taken the joy out of the day and I am so mad with DHs kids for spoiling this for us.  We are still totally in the dark about what Dhs kids said which is so frustrating when it impacts on our lives so much.

My main concern is that whatever DHs kids said will be on our file for any childs SW / matching panel to read and how that will impact on the chances of us getting a match.

There is a bottle of champagne in the fridge, but the mere thought of it is giving me indigestion.

Sorry for the down post, but I needed to have a rant.


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Sanita,

i know you probably don't feel like it, but congratulations! Its the panel's job to be ultra cautious, and that they approved you (despite it not being unanimous) still means you've been approved! If I rememebr rightly you've gone for an older group of children, so I've no doubt you'll be snapped up! it must be frustrating not to know exactly what you DH's kids said, but if they don't think they said anything too bad maybe you could have a chat again, and then discuss your discussion with the social workers?? 

We had the issue of IF treatment brought up at panel. We didn't have any and said that we couldn't possibly say one way or another whether we ever would have it in the future. They didn't like this, but as our SW rightly pointed out we were being 100% honest. We knew they would rather hear that we would never consider treatment, and that we could have lied, but we thought honestly was the best policy......anyway I'm waffling, despite the panels concerns we now have an absolutely gorgeous litte son now. So don't worry about future  matching ....you're a great catch, and go and open the chanpagne.....you deserve it!

xxxruthie


----------



## rianna

Hi Sanita,

Congratulations on being approved.  The fact of the matter is you were approved and you are going to be a great mum and dad.   I know how you feel.  We had terrible problems with my DH's ex who was and still is a very hands on dad.  The children were over the moon that we were adopting in the beginning, but somewhere along the line their mum put it in their heads that with a new child joining the family, they may suffer financially which really took all the joy out of what should have been a happy occasion when we were approved as the kids got really confused.  Whatever your DHs kids said you can't turn the clock back and take it away, you can only reassure them that you want them to be a part of your lives.  The main thing is you are going to be parents, and I say crack open that bottle of champagne - You really deserve it.


Love Rianna.


----------



## keemjay

really sorry things have had the shine taken off them sanita but I'm with the others hun. crack open the bottle and celebrate..you have been approved and thats what matters  

as you know we had an issue that was made much of at panel and it buzzed around in my head for a couple of days..'what did the panel actually say before we went in the room?'..'why did one of them word it like that?' we werent told if the decision was unanimous or not and I'm quite sure one lady was def not for it by the way she asked questions. then i realised none of it mattered cos the bottom line was we were approved and theres no going back from that. sure you might have to do a little more work but I'll bet its not much..and hopefully it'll soon be done and dusted and you can look forward. our 'issue' is plastered all over our for F and theres a humungous risk assessment attached too  but at the end of tha day if panel have said its ok then i trust that other sw's will be able to see through all that and that we have many positive assets that outweigh the 'bad' I'm sure this will be the case with you too

   to you hun, but go on, pop that cork 

kj x


----------



## Lauren

Congratulations Sanita!  As the others have said the main thing is that you HAVE been approved!  I can totally understand why you feel angry to dh's kids, I know I would feel exactly the same.  But I really thing you should forget about that for now and go and crack open that bottle of bubbly!

You and dh are going to make fantastic parents one day soon regardless of what anyone else may have said.

Lots of love
Lauren xxx

PS.  We expect you on here tomorrow with a champagne hangover!


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Wow!  Loads to catch up on again, sorry.  Welcome to Carebear, Suzie and Twinkle.

Sanita, congrats on approval.  Sorry it has been tainted by whatever your DHs children have said, must be very hard for you both.  Surely though if it was anything major to worry about panel wouldn't have approved you?  Hope you canget to talk to SW and have your mind put at ease about matching.

Great to hear all the intros are going well and other littles are settling in well.

Love
OT x


----------



## jilldill

Sanita, I am just delighted for you, try not to let this other stuff bring you down ( though I do understand fully) you are going to be a wonderful Mummy and DH a wonderful Daddy. Pop open the bottle and we are all raising a virtual glass to you both many many congratulations Love JD x


----------



## keemjay

jilldill..you arent giving much away about your intros, stop popping on and popping off again  ...I need more details!!!! 

kj x


----------



## KarenM

Hi Sanita

Congratulations on being approved.  Sorry to hear that your day has been dampened by the commetns made by Dh's kids. Iw ould be annoyed to but as the others have said it hasn't gone against you and you and DH will make great parents.

Hope you decide to crack open the bottle.

Good luck
Karen x


----------



## sanita

Thanks for all your support, you really have made me feel better, but DH and I are still mad as hell at his kids.

We managed to speak to our SW late yesterday afternoon and she said she was taken aback by how much emphasis panel put on the comments made by ****. So now we know that it is something the eldest has said. When we told DHs kids of our plans to adopt last spring, it was the eldest that took the decision the hardest. Rianna put her finger on the button as the eldest was concerned as to how this decision would effect his inheritance! Given that I am only 13 years older than the eldest I would hope it will be quite a while before he can look forward to any inheritance anyway.

Our SW clarified that the kids had obviously not made any horrendous allegations or they would never have taken us to panel, but the issues were more to do with DHs parentlng style and how DH handled the issue of his divorce from their mother with the kids. I obviously wasn't around when DH kids were young, but I have been part of their lives for the last 11 years and I have never witnessed any parenting issues to cause me concern. Dh and I have also had holidays with my nieces when they were 5 & 7 and my nephews when they were 10 & 12 and they found DH great fun to be around. I'm now wondering if DH eldest said what he did through spite or jealousy to try and stop the adoption going ahead?

Our SW also confirmed that the panels decision to approve *was* unanimous, but some panel members were concerned that the comments made by the eldest could cause us problems at future matching panels and felt that some additional work needed to be done with DH to try and negate those comments. Our SW doesn't yet know what form that extra work will take and needs to have a meeting with her supervisor to plan it. Until then we are back in her pending tray.

So two steps forward and one step back  . Thanks for listening. It's quite therapeutic just writing it all down.


----------



## struthie

Good luck today Barbarella and DH - can't wait to hear your great news xxx


----------



## keemjay

sanita..at least you have a bit more info now to chew on..i think its a good sign that the panel were unanimous..and as i said before, hopefully when it comes to matching, sw's will be able to see that possibly dh's eldests comments may well have been off the mark and that in the here and now things are very different. nobody's perfect and divorces often involve pain/anger/resentment etc on all sides, surely they will be able to see that 

kj x


----------



## keemjay

barbarella..i've just looked back and realise struthie is wishing you luck for matching panel..would like to add my best wishes too..hope it all turns out well, sure it will..look foward to hearing the news later 

kj x


----------



## jilldill

Barbarella,
I will pm you later but just wishing you so much luck for today you will sail through it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love JD xxx


----------



## Mummyof2

barbarella - good luck for today.

sanita - congratulations on passing at panel.  Don't be mad at dh's kids.  They said how they were feeling and it is better out in the open.  I expect jealousy, resentment and worries about losing their dad and their inheritance was part of it but that is to be expected.  Try and take a step back and look at it from their point of view - after all they are not as mature as you and dh and have not had the same life experiences.  The positive thing is that you were passed at panel and you will be adoptive parents so dh's children will have to get used to the idea but it might take time.

No news here.


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi  Barbarella 

good luck for todayxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Another mummy to join our happy growing band.

Look forward to reading your news.

PBMxxxx


----------



## Boomerang girl

good luck barbarella! congrats sanita! xxxxxxx


----------



## rianna

Good Luck Barbarella,

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

Love Rianna.


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi Girls,

thanks for making me feel welcome  just a quick question is it correct that the social workers contact your x boyfriends for a reference as I would not have a clue were all mine are as I moved from the area. Also I would not want my x boyfriends knowing our business, also wouldnt me being with dh 12 years be enough?

Many thanks
~Twinkl~


----------



## Barbarella

Thanks Struthie and everyone... have posted on a separate thread...  

Will do personals later, but just wanted to say....

Congratulations Sanita on being approved... hope you cracked open that champers... you deserve it. Well done!!! 

Welcome to the newcomers - Twinkle - they definitely want to get in touch with significant other halves, especially if you have lived together... my dh and I had been together 12 yrs and they still contacted my ex-husband.  Not nice, but you do get over it...!!!  

Magenta - how are you doing??  I can't see an update... hope everything is going ok.

JD - just about to PM you...    

Hello to everyone, as I said, promise to do personals soon.... am a bit manic getting the news out as you can imagine... 

Love C xx


----------



## sanita

Twinkle,

My VA only contact ex-wifes / ex-husbands or partners that you have parented with.  So, thankfully my ex-boyfriends weren't included.  Like so many other aspects of the procedure it does seem to vary.  If they do want to contact your ex BFs then they would expect you to make some effort towards tracing them, but if you can't find them, they would have to accept that.


----------



## Ruthiebabe

i'll apologise in advance for this whinging email....on the grand scheme of things its not the end of the world, but i am so annoyed!!

our 3 month review was held a month late cos of SW committments. we were told we could proceed with the court application, but we needed Boo's freeing order to do this. it took the SWs a month to dig this out and send it to us. Then when we finally get a date for the reports to be in the court for a judge to see them, none of the SWs are ready. They've known this was coming up for 2 months now, and now that its 3 weeks away they decide to let us know they can't do it!!

grrrrrrrrrr


----------



## cindyp

Sanita,  Congratulations on being approved.  It's a shame that the gloss was taken off the day but approval was unanimous and now you know that one day you will be a Mummy.  

Ruth, poor you, the bureaucracy continues.  Unfortunately until you finally get that Adoption Certificate it's a cross we have to bear.  Hang in there.

love to everyone
Cindy


----------



## magenta

Sanita - congratulations on being approved!

Barbarella - congratulations to you too....11 days and counting down for you.

Twinkle - my agency only contact 'significant' previous relationships eg if you had a child or were a step parent or it lasted over 3 years.

Ruthiebabes - pah...bloomin' social workers.  As lovely as they can be sometimes I feel i could just trottle them when it comes to paperwork.  Mine is faffing about and still hasn't sent my employers a letter to allow me to get SAP!  Apparently my LA don't do matching certificates or the official form so you need  a letter!

Well update from me is that I am a very very very happy mummy.  my little one is on te go from 6.30am til 7pm with only an hour break for afternoon nap so i don't get time to post as often these days.  She has been with us for 2 weeks now and is very well settled.  We had our placement review meeting yesterday and everyone was happy.  So no need to meet again til Feb when we will lodge the petition with the courts.  Sw's will pop in every week or so but it will be a more casual thing - just a cuppa and a chat to give support and help with outstanding issues etc.

Despite being told she was globally developmentally delayed and quite behind which was a bit of a concern to us- although obviously not enough to stop us wanting her - she really is as bright as a button (not quite age/stage equivalent regarding things like doing jigsaws or building blocktowers but I tihnk it is because she hasn't bothered learning more than anything else ).  So many of our fears about her ability to settle and continue learning have been completely put at ease as she seems to learn at least a word a day and today was showing us how to hum...something we haven't seem before which could be another new skill .  Just goes to show that sometimes these forms can paint a worst case picture that doesn't seem to relate to the child you love. 

We are all just such a happy family.  

better go.  She will wake up in about 40 mins and I promised myself a nap too!

magenta xxx


----------



## keemjay

magenta.. so lovely to hear your update, sounds like your little one is coming on great 

ruthie.. grr grr and more grrr 

twinkle, as the others have said, it all depends on how 'significant' your boyfriends were. if you had a series of short relationships before you met dh then they prob wouldnt bother, however if you lived with one for a few years then they might be interested. if you cant get hold of them then they dont usually pursue the matter but you have to show that you've made an effort..eg show them letters sent to them/replys etc

jo - lovely to see your news on one of the other threads 

hope everyones ok

kj x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Sanita - congrats on being approved!  

Magenta - lovely to hear how you are doing with your little one.

Jennifer - thinking of you xx

Ruthie - frustrating but hang in there.

Hi to everyone else.

No news from me.

Laine


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

I have my friend staying so haven't read through thread, but hope you are all well.

Our SW phoned today and wants to meet us asap, she wants to arrange 6 x 2 hour visits and go to panel in April YYYYYEEEEHHHAAARRR

Fiona


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hi girls,

thank you so much for your replies you have been so helpful , also thank you for making me feel welcome. 
We are waiting for the SW to contact us now to get the ball rolling.. 

Barbarella -   with meeting your little girl, on the 4th how exciting and how wonderful before xmas.
Sanita  Keemjay - on being approved.
Ruth - Sorry to hear yr SW is not ready, its horrible when we have to Waite around especially when we get our hopes us bless you.
I sometimes think it would be really helpful if people had been through what you are going through then they would know how it feels.
Good luck sweety. 
Magenta - bless, it must of turned your world upside down , but how exciting for you both, I bet the house has got rather noisy. Hope you have fun leading up to xmas.
Fiona  - Congrats on going to panel. 

 and  to anyone I have missed.

Take care
~Twinkle~x


----------



## CAREbear1

Hi everyone, thank you for your welcome the other day. This thread certainly seems to have its share of good news at the mo.

I have received my pack, and sent the forms back by return post, so am I now waiting for a social worker to contact me? I've also ordered some books from Amazon from the book list. After my initial wild optimism, I am now having a self-doubt phase. Is this normal? All the info seems to point out that adopting a baby is nearly impossible. I really would want to adopt under 2- is this unrealistic and will I be condemmed for it? My reasons are mainly that I work full time and am single and thought that the younger the child, then maybe the less chance of them having severe emotional problems. I'm just trying to be realistic about myself, I know I am not superwoman. Will it be seen that I am still grieving for my own babies? I also wondered about Inter-country adoption, though I know this has many pitfalls too. I seem paralysed by what 'they' (social services) will think of me and others OR are these just normal thoughts that many of you went through at the beginning of your adoption journey? I want to explore every thought- I certainly don't want to muck up a child's life, but I so badly want to give my love to a child. Lots to think about


----------



## CAREbear1

Is it worth joining BAAF? £71 seems a lot of money for the membership- Thanks


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Carebear.  We have been approved for a child aged 1-2.5 years and have been waiting for 6 months so far for our match to come along.  The adoption process is a very long and intrusive one so you will have plenty of time to change your mind about adoption if you decide it is not for you.  Initially social workers paint a black picture about adoption but I think this is to put people off who are not dedicated to it as it costs a lot of money to process people to the point of panel - 10K I was quoted by my social worker!  I do not think it is worth joining either BAAF or Adoption UK until you are almost at panel.  My LA paid for us to join Adoption UK after we were approved at panel.  Well done on getting some of the reading books recommended.  You could also order some through your library to save some pennies!

Laine - thanks for thinking about me.  Ditto to you  

Twinkle -  My sw only contact ex's who you were with for more than 2 years within the past 20 years.  I said that I had not kept in contact with my ex "significant other" and did not know where he was as it had been 10 years since we split up.  My sw accepted this and no further mention was made of him.  She did ask if I had kept in touch with mutual friends and again I said no.

Ruthie - sorry for the delay - grrrrr

Magenta - what a lovely post - you sound so happy - fantastic.

Bye for now


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

OMG we have done it.  We have been matched to an 18 month old boy.  We have had his details for a couple of weeks and met his Social Worker on Friday.  We were expecting them to make their decision tomorrow but they decided today that they want to go ahead.  We saw a photo of him on Friday and he is so gorgeous (but I am biased).  I really cannot take it in.  We go to Matching Panel on 4 Jan 07.  

Just before we heard about him we were all for jacking it in as the wait (a year to the day) was becoming quite stressful.  

I would be grateful for any advice about Matching Panel as to what questions they ask but in the meantime we are just taking in and enjoying today's news.

Must go and choose buggies etc.

Tracey x x


----------



## Barbarella

Ooooh Tracey, how wonderful. Many many congratulations!!!  That really is fab news.. especially as you've had a long wait. 

I think by the time you get to matching panel, they already know everything.  We were asked if we were completely clear about Bea's medical situation, and then just questions about her name (the SW had told them it was spooky and to ask us the story) and also about how much she looks like our family as I'd mentioned that in our linking report.  I always worry about the questions, but they are usually nothing you haven't answered before.  If your little boy's situation is difficult, they might just ask you about that to be clear that you are aware of everything - bit obvious really at that stage, but I suppose they have to ask something!!  You will be fine.. what a fantastic new year you are going to have.  Am thrilled for you.

Magenta - so happy to read your posts - I hope to be doing the same in a few weeks time... eeeeekkkkk, I really can't wait.

As for us - we went shopping at the weekend and did serious damage to the bank account and enjoyed every minute.  It was wonderful.  Unfortunately, this morning we were told that someone has used our credit card fraudulently, so that has had to be cancelled, but no harm done to us anyway.  Still not nice though.

Sorry can't do any more personals - am so busy doing thank you cards and emails, that I just don't have much time at the moment.  

Love and luck to all...

Cxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Tracey,
What wonderful news and as Barbarella says you have had a long wait which makes it all the more special. What a great Christmas and New Year you will have knowing next one for sure you will be Mummy and Daddy I am really thrilled for you.
Love JD x


----------



## sanita

Congratulations Tracey.  What fabulous news.  You're going to have such a fantastic start to 2007.  Well done.

Carebear, your thought process is quite normal and shows how seriously you are taking this decision.  When we started this process we had quite set ideas about what we wanted, but they have changed a fair bit as we have gone along.  Adoption UK have a message board for single adopters (I think) so you might find some words of wisdom there.


----------



## fiona1

Tracey,

Huge congratulations, Jan will be here before you know it.

Fiona


----------



## cindyp

Tracey, that's brilliant news, what a great start to the New Year.  We didn't attend matching panel, in fact it took place without us even being aware it was happening.  Look forward to reading more about your little boy.

Magenta, so pleased that your DD is settliong in so well.  Bet that's a nice sight seeing people writing to you about your Darling Daughter.  You are so going to enjoy Xmas this year   

C, what a bummer having your cards nicked but I bet that was a fun shopping spree.  There will be a few more of those.  I went Xmas shopping on Sunday and kept picking up extra little bits I spotted for our DS  

Welcome to the thread Twinkle and Carebear.

Hi to everyone else.

We're still in that frustrating waiting zone.  We've had the form to read last week for the child I spotted at the Exchange Day.  We think it's an excellent match and so does our SW but we're still waiting to hear from the child's SW to see what she thinks of us.  Our SW says she will give it till the end of this week and then she'll phone to ask what's going on.  If they're not interested in us we'd like to know now so we can continue looking for Junior's sibling.

love
Cindy


----------



## jan welshy

Tracey,
BIG congratulations. All good things come to those who wait, and boy did you wait.

Enjoy getting to know each other.

News like this always makes my day.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## rianna

Tracey - Congratulations - Such fantastic news.  It gives us long-waiters some hope.  So pleased for you, what an exciting time, and a wonderful way to bring in the New Year.

Magenta - You sound absolutely besotted.

Barbarella - Glad you are enjoying all the shopping and getting prepared.

Welcome to Twinkle and Carebear - Wishing you lots of luck with your adoption journeys.

Laine - Sorry to hear no news - we are in the same boat, but looking at Tracey and Barbarella, at least we know we will get there in the end.

Hi to everyone else.

Lots of Love
Rianna.


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Fiona - good news on April panel.

Tracey - fabe news! Congrats on your match with your little boy.  Enjoy choosing the buggy!

C - pleased everything is going well for you.

Jan - hi there!

Rianna - I'm sure we'll be matched soon...

Cindy - hope you hear soon, everything crossed for you.

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


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## jan welshy

Hi Laine,

How you doing? I'm off work again, chest infection and brused rib muscles sooooooooo getting bored with day time tv. I want to go back into work tomorrow though, not sure if they'll let me though.


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## superal

Hi Tracey.............a bit behind everyone else on wishing you many congratulations, what wonderful news, the 4th January will soon be here, so glad you didn't give up and at last your dreams are coming true!!
love
Andrea
xx


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## KarenM

Tracey - Congratulations to you. What a NEw year you are going to have in store.

Jan - sorry to hear you are feeling poorly, get well soon

Cindy - hope you hear something soon.  Good luck

Barbarella - glad you enjoyed your shopping spree and hope you get the CC sorted.

Twinkle - my LA contact any "significant" past partners.  So if you were with someone a long time, engaged.  They even wanted to contact someone my dh was briefly engaged to at 19.  He hasn't seen her for over 15 years so has no idea where she is!!  Each LA is different though

Carebear - I adopted 2 under two's and their BP's have gone on to have another who has been adopted by a single adopter when she was just 8 months.  It is possible.  I think LA's just air on the side of caution so as not to make promises they can't keep.  I am a full time working mum and you become superwoman by default!!

Sanita - any more news on what your dh's son said.  Hope you are getting to the bottom of it and can move on to face the next challenge in the process.

Hi to everyone else.

Not much going on here, just never seem to stop at the minute and have so many things that need to be done I just don't know where to start.

We are going away next year without the girls for the first time (eeekkkk) so we are building them up for their big adventure of staying at Grandma and Grandad's for a few days.  I am nearly ready for Xmas but have little time left for leave given my study commitments and a special big family holiday next year to celebrate lots of anniversary's and special birthdays.

So many social nights out coming up for Xmas that I need some serious retail therapy.

Best get my nose into some study and do the usual Tuesday night thing of booking my Tesco delivery

TTFN
Love
Karen x


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## KarenM

New home this way Ladies

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=76503.0

Karen x


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