# Bottle in bed



## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Hi,
I'm sure this subject has been discussed before but I can't seem to find it now  
So our little girl is 2 and 8 months and has been home for 3 weeks and seems to be settling well  
In FC she fell asleep with a bottle of milk, usually on the sofa.... Anyway she goes off well in her own bed but I would really like to tackle the bottle thing as its so bad for her teeth esp as it has a newborn teat so the small amount of milk I put in it still takes a good while to suck out! 
I know it's a comfort thing for her so have let her continue to do this so far but would really like advice on how to encourage her to give it up  
I've tried getting her to choose a sippy cup to replace it but she's not interested in discussing it!
I've tried putting water in instead but this results in a major meltdown...
Even if I could get her to drink the dreaded bottle downstairs and then clean her teeth before better I would be happier.

I do appreciate its very early days but want to just start considering some strategies to help!!

Cs xx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi Crazy Spaniel,

We had this issue. LO was younger but I had slightly different concerns (although the health of teeth was important too).

Here's the link to my post and see if any of this would help. Feel free to pm me if you wish.

Only you can really know this time frame and what's most important. For us it really has not hindered the bond and actually helped us as LO was using bottle to self soothe and would not accept us very well. I've also been quite anal about fruit juices & the like (best friend is a dentist), but ultimately we ended up requiring daily prune juice so I just keep to our twice daily thorough brushing. effectively I've had to relax a bit as the consequences of the other problem was much worse than finding out LO may need a filing. 

Good luck
X


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

start to water the milk down a little at a time and also reduce the quantity little by little would be good..
also, get a bigger teat?! or stick a skewer through the end of the one you have!
sorry to be brief..in a rush!


kj x


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Sorry here's the link
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=302163.msg5357867#msg5357867


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi

As your LO has only been home for a short time I would keep the bottle (bigger teat) and use it for bonding.  Cuddle her up on your lap and read her a story while she drinks her milk, then do teeth, then bed.  

My DD has just turned 3, been home since 14 months, and we still do this but have reduced the amount of milk over time.  I wish we had re-introduced a bottle with my DS when he came home at 27 months but the FC had stopped all of it at 2 and we went with the flow whereas now I would do things very differently.

Milk is good for them and so is the babying especially so early on.

OT x


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Thanks for the replies!
I've made more holes in the teat but the problem is she will only drink the bottle in bed!
She will however accept the cuddling up with bottle downstairs but will then demand more bottle when in bed...
Maybe I'm just trying to go to fast?
She frequently says I want to be a baby but I do feel this need was met in FCs and that she should be given the opportunity to develop now...?!
Cuddles and closeness are not an issue, she asks for and gets plenty and has comfort toys for bed and other times x
...maybe I should just try bottle at story time but not in bed and see how she reacts  
Cs xx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Our FC put our LO on a sippy cup at four months. She said otherwise getting children off bottles can be challenging. I'm very grateful for this as although four months seems very young, she is expert with her cup and drinks like a pro. She's only just one and is now starting on a cup with a straw....everytime she sees my nieces she nicks their straw beakers (they are 2 and 4), so I started her on one yesterday and she loves it, clings on to it giggling. I'm adverse to juice and she only has water, but her Nuby straw cup needs a lot of suction so I put a tiny bit of juice in to encourage her....once she realised mummy had given her juice she nailed the technique and now she's back on water after one very small weak drink of juice.

I don't have the answers, but do find LO wants what her bigger cousins have.  When I initially moved to the straw cup I put both the sippy and straw cup out, didn't force the straw cup on her, but as it was clearly more interesting she opted for it. 

Another thing I've seen work time and again with my nieces (also adopted) is to buy them something by a character they love I.e. Peppa pig etc. So big girl Peppa pants for potty training, big girl princess cup etc. They want to use the item because they love the character and this can edge them into change. 

Just some thoughts anyway, something might help.

X


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

crazyspaniel said:


> She frequently says I want to be a baby but I do feel this need was met in FCs and that she should be given the opportunity to develop now...?!


i remember thinking this with my DD..then i had a lightbulb moment. yes those needs were met..but not with you! she hasnt had that time with you so she needs time to go through the baby process again but with you this time

also my 2 are 5 and 7 and now and again want to pretend they are babies again..they also love sippy cups and i have kept 2 for those moments they feel they want to have them..often when they are ill but other times too..

kj x


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

If she wants babying try and go with it at home.  Yes, the FC may well of met the babying needs for her at that time but now you are her Mummy and she may well regress and, imo, its better she is babied now than in a couple of years time when its not so easy for you or others to accept that.  

My DD wouldn't hold her bottle at all and the FC never encouraged her to.  This was fine to start with for eye to eye contact and snuggling close but when it came to reading a story as well I didn't have enough hands and so DD was given the option of holding the bottle herself or no bottle.  Maybe you could try that tactic with your LO, bottle and story or no bottle?  

We miss out on so much with our LOs, and them with us, that if they are open to being babied a bit longer than 'the norm' go with it, it helps build trust and security and fills in missing bits that, even if the FC did it, LOs need repeating with their new family.

Its very early into placement and you are getting to know each other, enjoy this time without worrying about what she should or shouldn't be doing as far as babying goes, if she is asking for it, then she needs it and it will build a stronger bond between you in the long run.  Remember adopted Los will be emotionally less mature than their peers and you do have to think much younger than their chronological age.

OT x


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Thanks, will take on board everything you've said everyone  
So how about I just try to get the bottle at story time, pre teeth and bed?
That way she's getting the comfort she needs and I can feel I'm being a better parent by not compromising her dental health ha ha xx


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

Hi Crazyspaniel and congrats on your lo.
I had the same problem with my lo, but I am not very good with computers so don't know how to share my link 

Any how, I agree with what some have said. It is still very early days and if she needs the bottle for comfort then let her have it for now. Our lo was 25 months when she came home and we felt the same as you about being too old for the bottle and also for the health of her teeth. We gave her 6-8 weeks to settle and have her comfort and also to form a trust and attachment to us, but we had the added problem of her waking every 3 hrs. for the dame bottle. In the end we gently told her that she was now a big girl and she really didn't need the bottle any more and together we put the bottles into a plastic bag and she but the bag in the bin. The first night she went to sleep no problem but kept waking up the same time for the bottle out of habit, we told her gently that SHE put the bottles in the bin(it was also rubbish day, so she knew they were gone and we couldn't go back into the bin to get them) but she could have a drink of water from her Sippy cup, she welcomed this. This continued for three nights and then stopped and now she sleeps all night. From day one her routine was supper play time for 30 mins, bath, milk in her Sippy cup and story, then to bed. we have continued with this so she is still getting her milk.

Hope this helps and good luck with it all, it takes time but perseverance is the name of the game 

Skyblu.xxxx


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

ok so hopefully this isn't a fluke but last night DD had her bottle of milk downstairs during story time whilst big brother drank his cup of milk, then teeth cleaned and bed!!
She asked for milk when she got into bed but reminded her she had it downstairs and then she slept all night 
Will continue with the bottle pre teeth until she hopefully decides she will have a cup like DS 
Had to encourage her to sit up as kept trying to lie down and shut her eyes!!

One slightly more relaxed crazy spaniel! Xx


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

Yay! That's great!


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