# I already feel like giving up!



## boomarang (May 24, 2011)

Oh ladies I don't know if I'm having a down day or a bad week or what.
Basically I have just started my 2nd IUI cd6 and I'm just finding it so difficult to find the positivity and enthusiasm that I had with the first.
I think the main thing is the lack of control I feel I have over my life, it litrally feels like its taken over and planning for anything is impossible! Granted I am a bit of a control freak, and thats why I'm struggling with it!  
I just feel so down, and can't help thinking things like how long do I give it before giving up? Which I know is totally the wrong attitude to have!
I'm just so scared of what this will do to me if a few years down the line its not worked!
The actual treatment itself, I'm not really having a problem with, injections aren't to bad at all, and where as scans aren't pleasent there bareable!
I just don't know whats wrong with me, I don't particularly feel teary, I just feel fed up, and then I feel bad for feeling this way. 4 years I've waited to get to this point, and now that I'm here I just feel like giving up!
I just want our lives back, I just want to be me again. I want my husband and friends to look at me and treat me like they used too!
OK thanks for listening....rant over! xx xx


----------



## hilly35 (Feb 14, 2012)

Hi, listen I am new to all this too and I just wanted to say to you that its ok to feel worried, stressed and angry all at the same time and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. I dont know how long this road will be for you but I understand TOTALLY why you are fed up and you feel like you have only just started. Its the control thing. Having to rely on doctors and hospitals and being poked and prodded is so darn annoying. But you know what, you will pick yourself up and get the mojo back. But also there is no crime in taking a break from this and giving yourself some time to just enjoy your hubby and life again. I think other people will be able to give you lots more words of comfort than I can, terrible at that, but I do know that what you are feeling is absolutely normal so please be nice to yourself.


----------



## 7november (May 18, 2011)

hi boomerang..   . it is a long and difficult jouney sweetie... but you always have us... to listen to cry with you and smile and laugh at silliest thing.
I understand what you are feeling right now, its looking forward and planning in advance that we have totally lost.. we can't plan holidays, outings, anything... just in case I am prego... or have an appt that day thing!  
My boss knows about it and keeps saying pls tell me well in advance when you need time off( I go abroad for iui so 5 days every month) and I keep saying I myself don't know till may be 10 days b4, he just does not get it. I have actually booked a/l every 4 weeks now... distressing.. and then everyone keeps asking oh you have time booked off, going somewhere nice? and that just annoys me even more..
Hubby is sad that its not working but I don't think he understand what all these hormones and medication does to you....
But sweetie good thing is we are doing something to help ourselves, to help achieve what we dream of, and I am sure one day we will get there...


----------



## boomarang (May 24, 2011)

Thanks ladies, your support means so much.
I'm feeling far more positive now and back on form. Hopefully IUI 2 will be going ahead this weekend, so fingers crossed!
I just need to prepare myself better for when these down days creep up on me.
xxxx xxxx


----------



## MustBeMummy (Sep 5, 2011)

Aww that last bit about your friends and everyone treating you like they used to is sad 

I dont know much about the whole process yet but please try and stay positive


----------



## boomarang (May 24, 2011)

Thanks mustbemummy.xxx


----------



## MustBeMummy (Sep 5, 2011)

Are you feeling a bit more positive now? Or at least a bit happier?


----------



## boomarang (May 24, 2011)

I'm feeling so much better now thank you. I'm in a much more positive place now, so lets hope it continues on.
Its just such a rollercoster this journey and not something I would wish on my worst enemy.
It is made so much better by the support of you lovely ladies though, I don't know what I would do without this site.

Hope everyone else is doing well.xx xx


----------



## MustBeMummy (Sep 5, 2011)

Good glad your'e feeling better now 

Ive been worrying about AF coz as soon as it comes i can phone the clinic and tell them to book me in for a day 8/9 scan! I thought i was due on today but just worked it out again and im due on the 1st! doh


----------

