# Hi I'm new



## Hayley E (Apr 1, 2004)

Hi I'm Hayley

A little bit about me. This is going to be a bit of an epic I'm afraid - sorry!

Me and my husband have been trying for almost 3 years now.

I had all of the initial tests as did he and everything looked perfectly normal until I had the lap and dye operation and they discovered that my tubes were severely damaged by adhesions and that the only way forward would be for IVF.

During the first course of IVF, my doctor also disovered that I had a large cyst on my left ovary which for some reason hadn't been spotted during my lap and dye which was very odd. However, we went ahead with the treatment and it was unsuccessful but by way of compensation I was told that it had started to work and that I still had 4 frozen embryoes. I went for FET in September but none of th embryoes survived which happens in less than 1% of cases so I was told, so I wasn't feeling very fortunate as you can probably imagine.

A follow-up consultation with my doctor confirmed my worse fear of having to have my cyst removed before further treatment. This was scheduled for the beginning of November and I was prescribed a drug called Danazol to thin the lining of my womb to assist with surgery. The week before surgery I had absolutely horrendous stomach pains and was doubled over in agony and 3 days later I got my period which was supposed to have been stopped by the drugs. Surgery had to be postponed by a week and I now had to travel up to London to have it rather than locally.

The period that I had was by far the most painful that I've ever had to the extent that I fainted when I got out of the bath. I should have gone to the hospital at this point but it got a lot better after the first day so I didn't really it give any more thougth although I knew that they were going to find something during surgery.

As it turned out, the pain and bleeding that I'd suffered was a miscarriage following a natural pregnancy and to make matters worse I'd most probably suffered the miscarriage as a result of the drugs I was taking. As you can imagine, I thought it was the end of th world, not only had I just had a pretty major operation and I was in pain but I'd just lost the one thing that I wanted more than anything in the world.

I had to wait until February this year to allow everything to get back to normal after operation after which I had another attempt at IVF which failed again and I'm due to see my doctor again in a couple of weeks time at which point I hope he's going to tell me that I can try again in May/June with my frozen embryoes.

Even though I was obviously devasted when it failed again, I did feel better and more accepting of it than ever before because I'd just left my job which was very stressful and in which I was very unhappy - they weren't exactly understanding of my situation either which really didn't help.

Sorry if this has gone on a bit, I've tried to keep it as brief as possible. I'm so glad to have registered with this website as I don't know of anyone else who's had any fertility problems, everyone I know seems to be reproducing at a rate of knots! It's important to feel as if you're not the only one I think, even though I do know that of course. Would love to hear from anybody.

LOL

Hayley


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## floss (Apr 13, 2004)

Hi Hayley

God, you really have had an awful time of it. I am pretty new to this website, but everyone seems really friendly and I am sure you will get several responses to your postings.

It is important to feel that you are not alone in all of this, and whilst I am only in the early stages of fertility treatment I am sure I and many other women on this site have experienced similar emotions. Everyone around seems to be pregnant and what with this warm weather its even more evident that it was when they were all wrapped up. Sometimes its all I can focus on and all I see are these bumps and happy new mums pushing prams around the streets. Its really difficult. 

But I am sure you will make friends who understand alot of what you are going through and will reassure you that you are not going insane and that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.

Lisa x


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## Hayley E (Apr 1, 2004)

Hi Lisa

Thank you so much for your support, it really is so reassuring to hear that other people are in the same boat. As you rightly say, everyone around seems to be pregnant or with gorgeous babies.

I find it so difficult when people tell me that they're pregnant and have to stop myself from crying for which I feel so incredibly guilty but I just can't help it, it just seems so unfair. You know all of this of course. It's amazing how much television is geared towards babies and pregnancy isn't it, although we do notice it more of course. I don't know if you've seen it but there's a mobile 'phone advert on TV whereby a new dad wonders down the corridor to 'phone friends and give them the happy news. My hubby was in tears over this the last time our treatment failed. He tries to hide it from me, but I know that he's in real pain as well, which makes me feel extra guilty as there's absolutely nothing wrong with him.

Sorry to go on again Lisa, it's just so nice to be in contact with someone who understands.

Best of luck in June - fingers crossed for you.

Hayleyx


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## floss (Apr 13, 2004)

I know just what you mean Hayley, I find myself staying away from people when I know they are pregnant apart from my very closest friends who are great.

I am online pretty much all day at work during the week so if you want to message I am usually here.

Take care 
Lisa x


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## Hayley E (Apr 1, 2004)

Thanks Paula, I really appreciate that.

Best of luck to you too with your next course of treatment.

Cheers

Hayleyx


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## Hayley E (Apr 1, 2004)

Thanks Lisa, I'm logging in regulary too now if you want to chat.

This is site is completely addictive.

Cheers

Hayleyx


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## floss (Apr 13, 2004)

I know, I am totally addicted after only 2 days. I really should be working right now.

Lisa


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hey Hayley,

A warm welcome to FF!

I am sorry about your m/c and the hard time you have been having.

We are here to support each other and it is great to have you on board.

Laine x


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