# My sister is having a baby tomorrow



## WannaBeAMummy (Jun 29, 2008)

Although i am happy for her i am overwhelmingly selfish and jealous and sad for me. I feel like i resent her and i will probably even resent the baby. She has already got 2 children and i thought it was gonna be my turn next. 
I'm feeling 100% negative about our upcoming ICSI, i just dont believe i will ever be pregnant. I feel like im being punished for something and like im not allowed to have a child or im not good enough. 
I am not sleeping i keep waking really early and all i keep thinking about is how jealous i am. I dont wish my sister wasn't having her baby, i just wish i could have one too. 
I'm convinced I'm going to be part of that statistic of women who try for years to have a baby but never get there. I think I'm just gonna get more and more depressed and miserable as the years go by.


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## emmylh (Apr 3, 2012)

Big hugs to you WannaBeAMummy   I know how you feel, its difficult when you just want it to be your time and its that unknown 'when'! It will be our time soon. Try to focus on the positives and it will get you through.

I was feeling exactly like this when my sister-in-law had her second and the first granddaughter after 5 grandsons! We wanted to have the first girl, but then we thought ours would be so special anyway as they are so longed for.

It looks like we will be having ICSI around the same time, when are you starting and where?

Much love xxx


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## MovingSiren (Mar 17, 2013)

to you!
I totally understand how you feel. I have been in your shoes quie a few times in the last 10 years! I get the complete feeling of loss and utter devastation when a close one either announces a pg or has a baby. 
I feel a greater sense of failure because I have never been able to not achieve anything i set my mind to apart from getting pg. Sometimes, I think what's the point and want to just stay at home and block everyone out. 
Sending  you lots of hugs and positive vibes for your next cycle.


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## Cleohegarty (Jul 18, 2012)

My sisters baby is due in june. I have days when i will not go out and snap at everyone and think why me. My acupuncturist said these feelings are completely normal and so u are not alone. She also said the last 3 months and when the baby is new is the hardest part but when they start to grow into a little person it will get easier. I also sent the infertility etiquette to my parents so they new how i was feeling and why i found it hard to talk about the iminent baby and why i would burst into tears whenmy sister was around. I feel for you and it must be extra hard with three nieces and nephews. But try to stay strong and maybe try reflexology acuouncture massage counselling as these may help. I am having counselling and acuouncture and are helping. Mind the charity do free counselling. Stay strong.


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## danceintherain (Apr 16, 2013)

wannabeamummy - I can really identify with your post.  We're waiting for our first round of ICSI next month, and we also male factor infertility and mild PCOS. 

My sister got pregnant while I was struggling through fertility investigations. We're very close - I was even there when she did the pregnancy test and, later, at the birth. I found it incredibly hard and yes I felt jealous at times and did my very best to hide those feelings from her.  Day to day I cope quite well, but pregnancy announcements do seem to bring everything to the surface again. I'm naturally quite pessimistic too - but remember we're still here and still trying so there must be hope and strength in us somewhere! I'm keeping everything crossed for both of us for our approaching treatment xx


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## mrs_ss30 (Dec 4, 2012)

I feel your pain! This week I've had one friend announce her pregnancy and my best friend give birth. Both have floored me. To have to deal with a pregnant family member must be even harder to bear. I dread the day when either of my sister in laws announce they are pregnant. I doubt very much though that you will resent your new niece or nephew. I find other people's pregnancies the hardest part - that's when I feel the most down and (though I hate to say it) jealous. But when the little ones arrive I have no ill feeling at all. Maybe this will be the same for you?

I completely get what you mean about believing you'll never be pregnant and you'll be part of that statistic group for whom it never happens. I've said in a previous post that I've had a gut feeling that it will never happen for me from the start, and lo and behold it hasn't. It makes me wonder if I have predicted it somehow and I worry all this ttc is in vain. However, someone replied to my post to say that they'd felt the exact same way but she'd eventually got a BFP. It gave me some hope to know that and made me realise that the only reason I feel it will never happen is because it hasn't  happened yet...it doesn't necessarily mean that it won't. Anyway, that's just a little food for thought! It keeps me going when I'm in a dark place so hope it helps you a little too.

xx


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