# Can I actually do this?



## Happygoflossy (May 10, 2012)

Hi I'm pretty new to this site but have posted a thread last week. I'm 30, single and looking to start IUI using donor sperm. I've had my initial appointment with the NHS Fertilty Clinic and they have agreed to help me. 

Now I know that this is actually going to happen I've suddenly become very frightened and convincing myself that I can't do it alone. Having a baby is all I've wanted for as long as I can remember. Sadly I haven't met the 'one' who I can settle down with. My head is telling me one thing and my heart another. 

I just want to know if anyone else felt this way before going through with IUI? Really didn't think I'd be feeling this way! Any advice greatly received. 

Thank you.


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

Hi there...I think its totally normal to feel like this...it suddenly becomes really overwhelming when it feels like it could become a reality    


I had a total meltdown the night before I went for my 1st IUI and cried a lot, I remember posting on here and getting lots of support and people saying they had felt the same.  I think it would be weird if you didn't feel a little scared, its a big thing. Even after all the treatment I had, I still remember saying "S***, what have i done" when i tested positive     It is scary, but you will be able to do it...there are lots of us that are and more and more who are having more than one on their own which shows it is totally possible.


No advice other than allow yourself to feel overwhelmed, as it is   ...I always had to hold on to the thought of what I would feel like if I had never tried, and that kept me going. And I now feel extremely lucky to be in the position I am.


Lxx


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## Bambiboo (Oct 23, 2009)

I was a wreck the night before my final IVF.  I can also remember lying down for my first treatment thinking "WTF am I doing?"!!  I think these fears are normal and necessary so we are aware of why we are doing this.

As long as you have made a thought out, considered choice and not arush choice - you will be fine!! Good luck!

Have you read Choosing single motherhood by Mikki Morrisette? It's a great book xx


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## Happygoflossy (May 10, 2012)

Thank you to both of you for taking the time to reply. I'm glad how I'm feeling is perfectly normal as hacking a baby is the one thing I've always known I want. Yes I've got the book you mentioned but haven't read it yet. Will make an effort to start if it will reassure me. 

I keep telling myself that I can do it and won't be talked out of it by anyone, not even myself!! 

Will keep you updated in my progress. 

Thanks again.


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## Bambiboo (Oct 23, 2009)

Definitely read the book- that and "knock yourself up"- awful title, good book. It's by Louise something!!! 

X


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Nicky, it is absolutely normal to get an attack of the jitters.    If you want to have a family enough, you will find a way to make it happen, and not just survive, but thrive.   

Take it from someone with three donor conceived children....all singletons....and all as a solo parent.  Of course, it also helps if you're slightly mad, but that's another story.    And I promise you I was filled with uncertainty at unexpected moments just like you for all three.  

A-Mx


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## Violet66 (Dec 28, 2007)

totally normal - in fact on my first cycle (something I'm not very proud to admit now) I got so freaked out that I told myself if I got a BFP I would terminate as I had made a terrible error of judgement in going ahead. 

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have done, especially since I've had two cycles since then - but that's how freaked out I was at the prospect of doing it alone.


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## kafryn99 (Mar 4, 2012)

Hi Nicky et. al. - I just got my BFP two days ago.  The evening of the test, I was over the moon, looking at maternity clothes etc. online.  Last night, it was like a total 180 and I started to be completely terrified.  I guess today I'm in between - the fear and excitement are balancing each other out.  I think it will also help if I find out I only have a singleton in there.  The clinic insisted on transferring 3 - terrifying- but they showed me stats that their outcomes with 3 are 15% twins and <1% triplets.  Sigh - I guess I'll find out in a couple of weeks.

Lulumead - this is really such amazing advice: "I always had to hold on to the thought of what I would feel like if I had never tried, and that kept me going. And I now feel extremely lucky to be in the position I am."  One of my colleagues said, "you will never regret doing it, but one day you may regret not doing it."

I love having this forum and knowing there are lots of other women out there like me - dying to have a child, not so much dying to have a man! 

Good luck, Nicky.  This decision took me many moons to arrive at.  Consider carefully, but know that we're probably all in the same boat on the fear!


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## Happygoflossy (May 10, 2012)

BIG CONGRATULATIONS  kafryn99!! Keep me updated with how you're getting on! Violet66 thank you for sharing your experiences and feelings with me! I wish you well too. A-M if you can do it 3 times I know I can do it too!! It's all I've ever wanted to be- a mum!! It's what I've been put on earth to be!! X


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