# Newbie, starting an intense journey...ICSI?



## LMB1989 (Feb 20, 2012)

Hi everyone, 

I'm new to this whole thing and feeling totally in the dark just now so I was hoping to hear from anyone who has gone through this or is currently going through ICSI! 

I'm 22 years old for the time being.. my partner C is 28. Living in Edinburgh, and here is my story...

Firstly, since getting my very first period I have NEVER had a regular cycle. I actually went a whole year without having a period at all! To my amazement I actually fell pregnant at the end of the period-less year, but unfortunately I was stringing onto a very abusive relationship, both physical and mental. I had a long hard emotional think about what I wanted to do, because for as long as I can remember I've always wanted a baby. Unfortunately because of the abuse I had gone through I just couldn't trust him with a child and I went through with an abortion. Something I still hate myself for doing, to this very day but it was the best thing for the situation I was in. It killed me to do it and I felt so alone for a very long time afterwards.

5 years later and I'm now in a very secure relationship with my new partner and we couldnt be happier. We talked about starting a family 1 year ago and started trying for a baby. 

My partner has had diabetes for almost 9 years and is insulin dependant. Unforuntately due to a complication with his diabetes he has what is called 'Retrograde Ejaculation', which means his sperm go backwards into the bladder. 

We attended a urology appointment to confirm this condition and they have referred my partner to the fertility clinic at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. They said that the only way they think we will ever be able to have a child is to go through ICSI. The only information I have just now is that they can either take it directly from my partner, or do a sperm wash and its then injected into my egg rather than the usual IVF procedure. 

I think I might be jumping the gun here and getting ahead of myself, but I cant just sit and wait like this, its driving me crazy!! We are still awaiting the appointment for the fertility clinic at the royal, but while we wait I thought I would see if anybody had any advice, stories etc to help me understand what is about to potentially happen to us?! 

Because we will never conceive naturally, I suppose I am not too worried about my almost non existant period, as I know I must be producing at least some eggs... 

Any stories/help would be more than greatly appreciated... 

Thanks guys
LMB


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## Nordickat (Feb 6, 2009)

Welcome to FF, I hope you find all the support you need.
Please don't hate yourself for ensuring you didn't bring a baby into the abusive world you were living in.

I'm glad you are now in a safe place and able to think about having a family. The thought of tx is very daunting but just break it all down into one day at a time and you'll be able to cope. There will always be somebody here to hold you hand and guide you through the tough bits.

Welcome to the exciting world of tx


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## Gem15 (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi LMB! 
I'm just at the start of our journey too! We have our consultation appointment for icsi on 12th march! I found that reading some of the treatment diaries on here gave me a good idea of what to expect from treatment, hope this helps  
You have been through a lot, hope it all works out for you!

Gem x


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## LMB1989 (Feb 20, 2012)

Thanks guys  
I'm really looking forward to getting the ball rolling, we both can't wait to have a baby of our own. My sister in law has three kids and a baby on the way, so I can't help but get a little bit jealous sometimes that people can get pregnant so easily and yet there are so many people here all going through the struggle. 

Gem, was it a very long process to get to where you are just now? I like to think that by the end of the year we could potentially be pregnant! It may be very optimistic though.

I try not to think about what could have been, and it was very hard as some people thought it appropriate to ask me whether I thought the baby was a boy or a girl. I still get upset, but I needed to get out of that life and couldn't see any other way. Many people have agreed that it was the right thing to do but it still hurts, especially to be faced with this trouble now :-(

I wish you good luck Gem, I hope everything is successful for you   

Xxx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Hello and welcome to the madness that is Fertility Friends.    what a journey you've been on now. So lovely to read you've met a wonderful partner. Abusive partners try so damn hard to destroy our souls   

I've included links to other boards that may be of benefit and offer some wonderful support to you   

*Complementary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*IVF Boards ~ *CLICK HERE

*South Scotland ~ *CLICK HERE

*Male Factors ~ *CLICK HERE

Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please shout!

We also have a chat room - which is a fabulous place to 'meet' and chat with others. Our newbie chat is every Wednesday. A great chance to meet other new members and find out a little more about how the site works.

*Newbie chat ~ *CLICK HERE

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.
Good luck,

  

Thetis xx


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## Gem15 (Jan 11, 2012)

The process hasn't been too long to be honest. We were referred by the hospital on 9th Jan and we have our initial consultation appointment on 12th March. We are from the falkirk area so have to go to ninewells in dundee for treatment! Waiting list for nhs is 4 years!!!! So we are self funding a cycle! 
I totally understand why you had an abortion in the past. You just need to keep remembering you did the right thing by not bringing a baby into an abusive relationship! Easier said than done, I know!  

Gem xx


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## LMB1989 (Feb 20, 2012)

Oh my goodness, 4 years?! Does anyone know what the waiting list for Edinburgh Royal Infirmary is? I was told 12 weeks but that seems highly unlikely as everywhere else seems to be for so long... 

Xxx


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## Gem15 (Jan 11, 2012)

The waiting lists totally depend on whether you are having nhs treatment or self funding. the 4years is for nhs, think private waiting times are always much less! I found out the waiting times for ninewells on their website, maybe edinburgh will have the same info on their page? 

Gem xx


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## willow07_123 (May 16, 2009)

LMB1989- Hi i'm 25 years old and have two year old twins conceived through icsi. My OH has RE (nothing ever comes out), he is type 1 diabetic, he has been since he was 8 (nearly 37 now). Have u heard about using sudafed? Iv'e been reading alot into it as would love to try naturally rather than have to go through the emotions of icsi again plus we can't aford to fund it. We had our first icsi funded on nhs and took about 3months to start everything. Reading into sudafed-some people have tried this while waiting for their appointment to come through and they have got preg!! Apprently the sudafed helps the nerves to shut off the bladder so the sperm comes out normally. You should google it and read into it-it's worth a go. We going to give it ago in june. We want to get my OH on vitamins to help his sperm first though as his sample that they used to make the twins was not a good sample and thats why we had to have icsi and not just normal ivf. They say to take two 60mg tablets 1.5 hours b4 you do the deed and then 2 more 15mins b4. We will use a fertility monitor so we can give it ago at the right time twice a month (as they do say not to use regularly if diabetic, to do with high blood pressure which my OH has. Have felt so alone with OHs condition so nice to find someone else to talk to about it xx


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