# 7 eggs but none fertilised, trying not to give up hope



## shell11 (Jan 25, 2013)

I have just had the news that my eggs didnt fertilise.  It was my first cycle and despite people telling me the odds of success on the first cycle were slim I couldnt help but feel optimistic that after years of trying naturally, and being given no reason why we couldnt conceive, this would be our chance at becoming parents.  I had 7 eggs taken out yesterday and my husband's sample was good - they cant give us a reason why none of them fertilised overnight.  
I am quite a down to earth person and rarely cry but I just couldnt stop the tears this morning.  Felt like I had let my husband down, my parents (as no grandchildren yet and I know they want that just as much as us).  Everyone has been really reassuring but I cant help feeling I did something wrong.  It was all going ok, I had a high AMH and responded well to the drugs.  I know we can get through this and I am lucky to have such a supportive husband, just cant seem to shake these feelings of failure when everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant the first time they try!!


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## CC_Lee (Nov 8, 2012)

Shell11,

I didn't want to read and run. So sorry you are going through this. I was in a different situation with my first ICSI but there are others who have been through similar. Here's another thread along the same lines as yours: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=294928.0

As you can see, people can respond really differently in different cycles. Don't give up hope based on the one cycle. Take some time to grieve and get through this with your husband. Get an appointment with your consultant with enough time beforehand for you to work things through and get a list of questions/suggestions together. It will be awful just now especially with all the drugs still making you mental on top of the stress and grief. Let yourself have some time and then decide what to do.

The feeling of failure is awful isn't it? I have been getting a sore knee running and had to stop last night and walk. Went home and bawled on my husband because I was a failure at running as well as a failure at having children! Just keep reminding yourself you have NOT failed and life is just sh*t sometimes.

Big hugs.


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## shell11 (Jan 25, 2013)

Thank you for your kind words. I know it was my first time so I shouldn't be too disappointed there are many ladies on here who have been through far worse. Guess just got to keep positive x


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## reb363 (Mar 1, 2009)

I had exactly the same on my first IVF and it was such a horrible shock. But think of it as a trial run. You're right to stay positive as you'll get there. Wishing you all the luck in the world xxx


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## tilly1980 (Jan 22, 2013)

Hi Shell,

Didn't want to read and run without leaving some words of encouragement.  

As you can see from my tag line, I had failed fertilisation after my first attempt at ICSI.  We were both gutted (cried for days afterwards at the unfairness of it) as I don't think they prepare you for the fact that sometimes for whatever reason fertilisation does not occur.  I found it a real stuggle mentally going through the second cycle and kind of went through the motions and when I came out from EC and still slightly sedated it was the first time hubby saw how much I was stuggling as all I could think about was that it was all over for us already. You can imagine my surprise to be told the following day that we had actually got 3 fertilised and  I'm now 8 weeks pregnant from my second attempt    

So what I'm trying to say is don't lose hope, as others have said look at your first time as a trial run, next time you know a wee bit more about what to expect and you will be better prepared for either outcome.  

Best wishes for future


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## shell11 (Jan 25, 2013)

Hi Tilly1980

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement.  Its been a week now since we had the news that our first attempt hadnt worked for us.  Like yourself I had many tears and even now a week later I find myself wondering if I did something wrong and could have changed anything.  I guess its just that sometimes these things happen for no good reason!

Congratulations on your news, thats fantastic.  Its given me hope that some people do get good news, after no fertilisation the first time, bet you are both over the moon. 

Bit disappointed that I have been told they want me to wait 6 months until we can try the next cycle (shouldnt really complain as lucky enough to get NHS funding).  I was really keen to get on with attempt no 2.  So having a bit of a break - I did ask if they would consider letting me start a bit earlier due to my age (38 in May) so they will let me know.

Until then think I will try and keep my mind occupied with other little things, even starting with jogging tomorrow (until the temperature puts me off getting up early!!).

Congratulations again, and thank you.


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