# Bouncing Ball ~ Part 2



## LizzyB

New home


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## bodia

Hi All,

Ruby...I don't really know what to say hon, except please don't give up. Miracles can and do happen and you deserve this so much. I am sending you   and also  . Does the clinic monitor you at all during the 2WW? Try to rest as much as is humanly possible and try to do stuff with your DH that makes you feel better (I usually go for chocolate and Robbie Williams music, but whatever takes your fancy!)
I am praying for you hon and you are in my thoughts...

Sunfizz, well done on smoking. I am also doing well, although haven't been running as much this week and have overeaten as well. The HSA health policy is excellent and you can use your own dentist, hopsital, optition, accupuncurist, homeopath, osteopath, physio etc. You and your DH/DP can both claim and you don't have to commit for any length of time either, Feel free to IM me if you want details, if I recommend someone we both get M&S vouchers!

Talking of all this natural stuff I am going to the homeopathy and am going back for more accupuncture on Weds. Also reflexology on Friday, so just as well I am claiming 50% off these appointments back!

I had a bad day yesterday. On Friday I stayed with an old friend who miscarried earlier in the year. She has always been prone to depression and this sent her over the edge a little. Anyway, they waited 3 mths, tried again, and on Thurs on the phone she told me she was pg again! I was happy for her esp as I knew how upset she'd been. However, she is so anxious that she will miscarry again that she isn't celebrating and is very down. She is also worried that her anxiety may be effecting the baby. I ended up offering quite a lot of verbal support, both on the phone and in person on Friday. When we left, we were on our way to my parents party when Dh and I disucussed it. He said he didn't envy her at all. I said that I didn't envy her situation and could understand why she was so cautious, but that I envied her getting pg naturally so easily. She only started ttc in Jan and has already been pg twice this year. I hope this doesn't sound really bad? Anyway, I ended up very upset all day yesterday and cried loads. I think being around a few pg's and knowing I have never ever been pg really started to get to me. I honestly think, if it's not going to happen I'd just like to know so I can try to deal with it and maybe look at adoption! Does that make any sense?

Anyway, feeling a bit brighter today, mainly because of a trip to the Next sale which always helps and DH also took me to La Senza to buy some lovely undies. Even then though, there were so may pg women around and I kept thinking I'd love not to be able to fit into my clothes because I had a big belly. Am I never happy?!!

Hope everyone is OK. Thinking of you all, couldn't cope without my FF buddies!

Take care,

Love,
Philippa
xx


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## nicolah

Hi Girls,

Ruby - I'm sending you all my thoughts and prayers for the next week or so, I really hope this is your time. Please just try to relax an hold on to those little embies - embies if your listening  - hang on with all your might, because that's a fantastic mummy you've got there!! I know there are people on these boards who have got a BFP with less than top grade embies, so let's hope and pray this happens for you too.  

Sunfizz, excellent news on stopping smoking, I'm sure that will really help with all the IF stuff, I bet you're so proud of yourself!!

Phillipa, glad you're feeling a bit better, a spot of shopping always cheers a girl up doesn't it!! It's so frustrating when other people seem to get pg at the drop of a hat and some of us have never seen that second blue line. It's good news that you are finally getting somewhere with the hospital, at least you know now that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but one thing I will say is at the beginning of October I would start ringing the hospital and chasing them. if you just wait for the appointment to come through you may wait a while, I always take matters into my own hands now where possible. I know both my consultants secretaries (NHS & private) and always chase up appointments if they don't come through on time.

I had a great time in Scotland. I went to visit my family near Glasgow and got to babysit for my little niece for one evening, she is just adorable!! My little sister, who is about 20 weeks pg also started to feel kicking for the first time while I was there. I am just so happy for her that everything is going well as she did have some spotting early in her pregnancy but everything seems fine now, and the baby is due on my birthday!! 

I have an appointment at the Lister on 8th August to discuss my FET, so starting to get a little nervous about starting tx again. I am both looking forward to it, but dreading it at the same time.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all having a nice Monday morning   

Nicolaxx


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## RubyRoo

hi girls,

thanks for your positive thoughts and messages.  i just cant' seem to muster up the energy to feel positive or do anything.  i've been avoiding everyone and everything since ET on friday and i can't even face leaving the house cos i'm scared of seeing hundreds of pg women and everybody else playing happy families!

phil - sorry you were feeling down also, i think it's perfectly understandable that this whole thing affects us all the time.  pleased you are feeling a bit better now and that you got a nice shopping trip in also!  your HSA policy sounds really good - my last one i had wouldn't let me claim for acupuncture with zita west cos they said she wasn't listed. anyway i cancelled it in the end cos it wasn't working out cost effective for me, but yours sounds like it is so that's great news.

sunfizz - great news on the smoking and hope you are ok too. how's your mum been?

nicolah - pleased you had a lovely time in scotland also and spent quality time with your family.  hope you are feeling lovely and well rested now?  know what you mean about looking forward to but dreading your appointment on the 8th aug but try not to think about it too much for now.  before my EC i was literally trying to be really good and take one day at a time and was doing quite well - it was just after they told me about my bad quality embies that it all went downhill!

i completely know that people do get pregnant with low grade embies but somehow these stories always seem to happen to other people!  in fact a friend at work told me last tuesday that her 2nd tx had just worked and how her embies were really bad!  there was another girl at work a year or so ago who also had a bad treatment and ended up with twins!  but like i say, always other people and never me!

my best friend at work is also 8 weeks pregnant with her 2nd child which i can't really deal with either!  it's all so horrible!

anyway sorry that i'm being so down - maybe it's best i just don't post for a while because i'm probably depressing everybody else too?

take care girls,
ruby x


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## bodia

HI all,

Just a very quickkie...Ruby..we have all felt down before and we all will do again. I love this website, but this thread is my fave as I feel over the last few months we have all got to kmow each other so well... I can share thoughts and feelings with you and the others that I don't share with anyone else, even people who have known me for years! 
So, like Nicolah says...we are all rooting for you. You will one day be a fab Mum, and if it happens now we will all be jumping for joy, an if it doesn't we will rally round and pick up ths pieces. Meanwhile...please don't feel you can't post if you are feeling down hon, please know we all understand and are with you every step of the way. Every night I say a little prayer for you and your DH and have even asked my DH to do the same!!
Take care and thinking of you,

Philippa
xx


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## RubyRoo

aaaah phil, thanks so much for that lovely message, it means so much. please carry on praying for me cos i don't believe in god so it's useful that somebody does it for me!

well i'm still sitting in the house today doing nothing. i can't muster any energy to do anything or speak to anybody (except my mum who is ringing me 100 times a day but not really saying anything)!!

it's horrid because i feel like i've pushed all my friends away and am ignoring all their calls and stuff and now there's only a few that are still bothering with me every day and texting me and checking up on me.  i know i've done it myself and don't want to speak to anybody but then at the same time feel upset that nobody wants to see me anymore either!!!!!  i'm so twisted now, i don't know what i want!

my really good friend at work has said she wants to bunk off work and come and see me tomorrow afternoon.  i can really confide in her and say anything i want and she's usually really good for me but the thing is she is now 8 weeks pg and i'm not sure i can bear that!  so i've told her i'm just not sure at the moment!

anyway just thought i'd say hello and that i'm still a moaning minny today!!

lots of love to you all and hope you are having a better day than me.

ruby x


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## nicolah

Hi Ruby,

Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you, and please don't be too hard on yourself for feeling the way you do - it's completely understandable. I felt a bit like that after my failed ICSI (it was +ve at first) and felt that people didn't really want to hear all my problems. But we ARE all here to listen and help and you DO still have hope. I know it's like a defense mechanism that you don't want to get your hopes up, but right at this very moment your little embies could be clinging on like limpets - just try to focus on that. And don't worry about upseting your friends, they will understand. Now is the time you just have to think of yourself and be a bit selfish. Remember we're all here for you.

By the way, my knees are red raw from all the kneeling and praying  

Love Nicolaxx


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## RubyRoo

so completely lovely of you too nicola - you ladies are just so understanding and always say the right things.  i so wish my embies were hanging on in there - i'd give anything for a microscope that could see right inside me now!!!

i'm just too scared to start feeling positive cos of the fear it will make a negative worse - but at the end of the day i don't think anything makes a negative worse really does it?

just spoken to my cousin (the one who donated her eggs for me on my 5th treatment) who made me want to slam the phone down on her!  she phones me all concerned (and i think she genuinely is) but then prattles on and on about what she's done the whole week with her children and all her friends and their children and what a nightmare it was today because the place they went to for lunch didn't have highchairs and blah blah blah!  she is so odd - she has the biggest, generous heart sometimes but then other times just annoys me so much and i just want to scream at her!

anyway, am getting square eyes from spending my days staring at the tv and the computer screen!  and to think i never wanted a computer at home - now i dread to think what i'd be doing with myself without one!

thanks again for all your moral support you lovely lovely ladies. carry on hoping and praying that this year will be the year for us all  

rubyx


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## sunfizz

Ruby,
It's going to be o.k. - whether you get the bfp this time or not.  While this is not a fun time, not a fun situation, and not anything like how any of us thought we would be trying to start families, all these experiences are the things that make up who we are, and make us stronger people.  Short term though, while we're in the middle of the hard parts, it's impossible to see this.

Probably a bit vague for a Tuesday evening.  What I'm trying to say is that you can't feel bad for your reaction to your friends, how you're feeling at the moment - it's all completely understandable.  It's the bigger picture that matters.  The fact that you're doing this, that you've got the courage to go through this, and to go on with this, is the thing that says the most about you - not that you have days, or even weeks where you don't want to see people.  You don't need to worry about if you're feeling positive at any given moment, or negative - it's all part of the small picture, so rant and rave on here as much as you like.  Everything will be alright.



x


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## bodia

Hi all,

Just checking in to see how you all are and to agree with what everyone else has said about you, Ruby. Hope you are looking after yourself and being pampered and watching DVD's and reading celeb mags and eating chocolates etc!!!!
Hope everyone else is OK.
Planning to go to London Napro Centre tomorrow night for an info evening, watching the transport situation carefully though as a little nervous.
Got accupun****ure and homeopathy this afternoon!

Take care all,

Phil
xx


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## datai

good luck to you i too am on my 2 ww.

Fingers crossed

Datai


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## nicolah

Hi Girls,

How are we all this wet and miserable morning 

Ruby, hope you are bearing up (and will be bearing down in 9 months time  ) Your still in my thoughts and these knees aren't getting any better either  

Phil hope your fact finding evening goes well tonight, you'll have to tell us all about it tomorrow. How did the acu go yesterday?? Hope you're feeling nice and relaxed today.

Sunfizz, how is everything with you?? I really understood what you said to Ruby and it really struck a cord. I think that we do worry too much about other people's feelings, when we really can't help our own. I think that there are times during all this IF stuff when we really do need to JUST take care of ourselves and be  a bit selfish. And the people that matter will hopefully undertand.

Datai, welcome to our thread and lots of luck and     for your tww.

Well have to get on with some work now, this working for a living is not all it's cracked up to be - is it  

Love Nicolaxx


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## RubyRoo

hiya,

still here and still going mental!  less than a week to go now and i'm sure will end up testing a day early anyway!  have no symptons whatsoever and feel totally normal - great eh!

had a nice facial today though which helped me to relax a bit. and off to a friend for dinner tonight - so have been trying to force myself out the house a bit.  also have a wedding up in derbyshire over the weekend so that will be nice i'm sure (even though i can't drink)!

datai - welcome to the hideous 2ww!  is this your first tx?  there's a thread for 2ww also that i've been posting on too.

nicola - glad to hear your knees haven't got any better - keep up the good work me cos someone has to and i'm obviously unable to!

phil - how you doing?  hope your acupuncture was good and that info evenings goes well tonight.  i know there have been a few alerts today over london but nothing major so that's good.  you take care of yourself and let us know how it's all going.

love to everybody else. i am slowly going mental............................


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## Viva

Hi Everyone,
Been really busy at work getting into my new job and can't get away with accessing the site at work anymore! 
Ruby you have been on my mind and in my prayers too, little embies stay put!!!! I hope that the wedding this weekend is fun and that people restrict themselves to talking about weddings and not babies! 

Datai, welcome and please do let us know how you get on.

Nicolah, you have your hospital appointment the day before I have my next appointment so I will be thinking of you...It's weird isn't it how doing nothing feels really frustrating but it's still scary doing something! Although I know that the laporoscopy is the next stage and I have to have it before we can really think about treatment options, I'm still scared of what they might find! The disapointment each month is certainly easier as well knowing that there's no real reason why this month should be any different than the last!

Phil, how was your evening? I also noticed that your now on the waiting list for IUI which is great do you know how long the list is?

Sunfizz I hope that you're well and are feeling all fit and healthy now you're off the ciggies!

Love to you all and have a good and relaxing weekend
Viva


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## RubyRoo

hi girls,

how is everybody doing?  hope you all had good weekends?

we had a lovely weekend away in derbyshire for a friends wedding and it was really nice to get away and not think about my 2ww!!!  i couldn't drink which was a shame but had a good time anyway.

and now am back and have started to dread having to test on weds!  i've got no symptons and feel completely normal - i'm so sure it won't have worked and i'm scared to find out cos know we will fall into that big black pit of depression again!

anyway just thought i'd pop on and say hello in the meantime.

love to everybody,
ruby x


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## bodia

Hi All,

Just wanted to post a quickkie to say a big   to Ruby!
Thinking of you hon, and sending you loads of  

Hope everyone else is OK.

Take care and speak soon,

Phil
xx


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## bodia

Hi all,

Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is...

xx


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## sunfizz

No news from me.  Still just going on with the napro charting, the acupuncture (apparently I've still got too much on my mind!), trying to do everything with fingers crossed all the time, and trying to stay positive.  I've got into this new and amusing state of mind though that I dread talking to dBil and dSil who we know are ttc.  Especially if they call late in the evening, I'm on tenterhooks to find out if this is "the" call to tell us they've got a bfp.  Stupid, aren't I...  Oh well, I read somewhere that a pessimistic outlook is actually quite a good one as it means you're subconciously prepared for the worst all the time, so handle bad news better than the happy-go-lucky person would.  Hmmm.

Anyone else got anything going on?


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## bodia

Hi,

Sunfizz, I can understand why you feel like that. It's always hard when you are expecting that call...every time anyone tells me they have something to tell me I try to brace myself. I usually feel quite pleased for them, cause heaven knows I'd hate anyone I know to go through what we are going through. For me, it's afterwards when I feel the pain.

I am fine, obsessing as normal though. Have had quite a busy time. Went to a local IF support group meeting last week which was very useful and positive. I have had another Day 21 Ovulation test and also an Day 3 FSH test and DH has had LH, FSH, Free Testosterone,  Total Testosterone and SHBG bloods, alol have come back normal. I have been advised to have an ultrasound scan to check my ovaries. Desperately trying to find something that can be treated I suppose.

Am also getting increasingly worried about IUI's in Brighton. The deal here is you have to have 4 unassisted cycles before you can have 2 assisted. I have been researching the success rates of unassisted and they seem to be very very low. So very worried about putting my body and mind through that. Have found a private clinic with a 25% assisted sucess rate, but it's about an hour a way and I suppose part of me feels that if the NHS is offering it for free we should go with them first, also worried about getting to scans etc without disrupting work too much. So, very confused!

And, we are thinking of putting our flat on the market and buying a house, so lots of decisions need to be made.

Hope everyone is well.

xxx


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## Hels Bells

Hi girls,

Have just come across your chit chat and just wanted to say how I feel the same. It seems that in the last 6 months everyone around us either pregnant or have just had baby - two announcements last week, so annoyingley both unplanned although you either use contraception and if you don't then it's planned because anything can happen. Anyway as usual put the brave face on as I am absolutely delighted for them both but am soooo envious. dh and I talked about it and he is great in making me feel positive and saying that our time will come and it will be sooo much more special to us and it will. One of my friends is already showing and I just kept thinking how much I want to be able to grow out of clothes and be pregnant and when I do I think I'll burst with happiness.

Anyway today I am feeling positive, tomorrow could be a different matter, I keep telling myself it will happen, we all have the same organs etc it's just some are a little different and require abit more work on them. It's comforting to listen to you all as I sometimes think I am going crazy or even worse getting depressed when seeing other women with children and been pregnant. It's only natural we will because it's something we all want desperately, as my dh says it's not a matter of 'if' it's a matter of 'when'.

Hope you are all well,
xxxxxx


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## nicolah

Hi Girls,

Just popped in to say hello as I have been on holiday for nearly a week.

Hels Bels - Welcome to our thread and i'm glad you're feeling positive today. I suppose we all have a hard time with other people's pregnancies from time to time but we just have to do the same as you and stay positive . One of my friends gave birth last month, another due next week, and my little sis is due on my birthday in Dec!!

Hi Phil  - you have got a lot on your plate at the moment. Decisions, decisions!! It's funny cos we were going through a house move with our ICSI treatment, thankfully the move happened just after so it kind of took my mind of things anyway. You must feel that you're finally moving forward though, I'm sure whatever decision you make about the IUI will be the right one. Sorry i'm being a bit thick here becasue I have had 4 IUI's, but is assisted when you take drugs to control your cycle?? I think that's what I had, although it's about three years since I had IUI.  

Sunfizz, How is the acupuncture going - Do you feel any different, less stressed or whatever. I've been thinking about looking into it myself, every little helps and all that. I found it quite hard when my brother announced they were expecting as I knew they were trying, but when my sister announced hers this year I was a lot better because it was "sprung" on me. You'd think it would be the other way round wouldn't you!! I hope if the call does come that your not too upset.

Ruby - How are you doing....

Hi Viva, how did your appointment go.

Well I had my appointment at the Lister to discuss FET on Monday. We will probably do it after Christmas. The appointment went well, no surprises really, just going through our history and everything.

Must dash now, I have a dentist appointment, two fillings  


Take care
Nicolaxx


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## Viva

Hi Everyone,
I'm just about to head off on holiday for the next couple of weeks, which is great as I've had quite a tough week! Another friend is pregnant and her little boys 2nd birthday party last Sunday, we were the only people there without children, everyone else had at least one and a couple had big bumps as the second children are on their way! Needless to say, we didn't stay too long.
The appointment was somewhat frustrating don't know whether the Lap will happen now because my consultant doesn't think there's much point unless he removes the hydrosalpinx, which he won't do unless it's big enough to see on ultrasound, they didn't see it last time so now I need to have that done again. That won't happen until at least another month due to our holiday being over the time in my cycle that it should happen!
The general sense is that IVF is the best option open to us from the traditional route and we are really not at all sure that that is what we want to do although we might consider a natural cycle (Kings offer this) as we wouldn't then need to worry about what happens to any embies that don't get put back. We are also very interested in napro (so Sunfizz any thoughts around your experience welcomed, where are you going for this?). Whatever we go for is going to be financially draining anyway so after our holiday we will be saving like mad! As well as dieting (me need to get my BMI down from 28 to 25 or less) coming off caffine (me DH doesn't do hot drinks!) and pretty much coming off alcohol (both of us!). It will of course all be worth it if we get a BFP but otherwise I wonder what I have to look forward to over the next few months! Feeling a bit fed up you may have noticed...yippee for the holiday!

Phil, I really understand ho wyou feel about making decisions nothings straight forward in this game is it? 

Nicola, hope your fillings weren't too bad...I must go soon too I know I have work to be done but I HATE it!

Sunfizz, I know where you're coming from with the whole am I pleased or not thing when it come's to other babies.

Hels Bells, Welcome and I hope your positive feeling lasts!

Anyone heard from Ruby....Am thinking of you honey!

Love and baby dust to you all...see you in a couple of weeks

Viva
XXX


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## RubyRoo

hi ladies,

thanks for asking about me - i am fine just haven't been on here much lately cos have felt like i haven't had much to say!

i had my bfn a couple of weeks ago now and have been trying to start feeling a bit normal for the time being and haven't been thinking about tx that much.  i think it's been such a hideous last couple of months that i'm glad to not have to be thinking about injections, eggs, embryos and all the rest of the stressful stuff.

we have booked a holiday and are going on 4th sept for 2 weeks and can't wait.  we have a follow up appointment before we go (26th aug) so will see what our consultant has to say and where we might go from here?

not sure we've got many options left to be honest - we've already had 6 treatments and have used donor eggs and donor sperm and still nothing!

anyway we will see.

hope you are all ok?  viva - hope you had a lovely hols - where did you go?

thinking of you all,
love ruby x


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## bodia

Hi all,

I have also been very quiet. Been trying to be a bit "normal" as I was getting obsessed (again.) 

Ruby, my heart goes out to you.   Wish there was something I could say or do. Thinking of you hon.

Holidays sound good...where you going Ruby and where did you go Viva? I went camping last weekend in Gosport, it was rough! The weather was crappy, but we were with a group of nearly 15, so we had a good time. I drank too much! On Sunday, my DH and me went to the New Forest and stayed in a lovely B&B with a 4 poster  

This week our exciting news is that we have finally (after much deliberating!) put our flat up for sale and are now officially house hunting! Hooray, something else to obsess about and get stressed by!

Went to the hospital yesterday with a mate I met through local support group who was having a scan for IUI. I was in the room, so I saw the actual scan, it was amazing but looked pretty scary! The nurse cheked the waiting list for me and confirmed that we should hear something in October about our own procedure.

Anyway, busy busy today, so love to you all and thinking of everyone and speak soon,

Philippa
xx


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## nicolah

Hi Ladies

Good to hear from you Ruby, I know you must be devasted, so here's a big   from me. Chin up darlin'

Well I have had an eventful couple of days, as I mentioned before I had an appt at the Lister last week to discuss FET. The cons there gave me a list of blood tests to have done so on Tuesday I went to see my lovely GP to see if she would do them on NHS for me. While I was there she also asked me if I had heard anything regarding NHS funding, as she had written on my behalf in May saying that I met all the criteria and should be eligible for funding. I told her I hadn't had any reply yet and it turns out that she sent the letter to the wrong person (confusion in the guidelines - she even showed me the guidelines GP's receive about IVF/NHS funding) She had actually sent the letter to my own consultant, but it should have been sent to the PCT. 

The funny thing is that during me last appt in June (which I had paid privately for just to see my cons quickly) I asked him about the NHS funding and he said there was no funding available. Yesterday I spoke to the PCT and they said that there definately is funding (maybe even for more that one cycle) and I should definately get at least one cycle in this financial year if I meet the criteria (which I definately do!!) and I was not the first person to say that this particular consultant had told them there was no chance of funding. Also he should KNOW that there is funding as he was on the original committee. 

So I am really confused and angry because my cons is sending me for private treatment at the Lister, when he KNOWS that there is funding available. 

I have to phone my GP today (she was off yesterday) and ask her to resend the letter, and the good thing is that I have appt with cons next week, where I will be demanding some answers  . I am so disappointed in him because during all my treatments, ops etc. he was the one person I trusted implicitely!!

So any of you who have been told that there is no funding, PLEASE phone your local Primary Care Trust and hear it straight from the horses mouth rather than listen to GP's or concultants.

Sorry this post has been a bit me me me!! But I needed to get it off my chest!!

Love Nicolaxx


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## sunfizz

Ruby - sorry to hear your news. Sounds like you're doing o.k. with it and the holiday will be great - hope you're going somewhere nice.

Nicola - your post is just incredible.  It's so annoying that we have to deal with so much of the emotional side of this, and can do without trying to get straight answers about how to pay for it.  I hope you get a good explanation from the consultant!

I have got a new manager at work now.  I had a get-to-know-her meeting with her yesterday and she was chatting on about my office-mate being pg, and about someone else on the same corridor who's also just announced she's expecting (which I hadn't actually heard about).  "Oh-ho," she says, "it's happening o so many people.  There's something in the water, you'd better be careful".  What a fatuous comment.  She doesn't know anything about my situation, so it's not her fault, but even so, sitting at my desk sulking about how I just don't think it's ever going to be me didn't make for a very productive afternoon, as you can imagine.  My mood hasn't lifted much today either.

Bodia - camping in Gosport!?  That's brave! 

Anyway, good weekend to all.


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## RubyRoo

hi girls,

how are we today?

sunfizz - so sorry to hear about your horrible afternoon at work.  it's complete baby-dom at the moment for me too - my boss wife was due last thursday, one of my friends went into labour yesterday, a girl at work left yesterday on her maternity leave, last night i went for dinner at a friends house with another pregnant friend - and the girl who's house it was was busy asking me the whole night if i wanted children!! nightmare!  thing is it's such a completely normal thing to have children and be pregnant so i just don't understand why it has to be such hardship for us all?!

anyway, i'm sure i'm not making you feel much better but just wanted to say i completely understand how you feel - ggggrrrrrr!

nicola - sorry you are having a rubbish time with your gp and consultant also - just what you don't need right now too.  i started to look into my nhs free treatment but don't think i'm eligable because i've had 6 private treatments and i think in the guidelines it says you have to have had under 3?!  anyway i was about to start my treatment at the time so didn't bother to look into it any further.  it all just seems so stressful trying to get funding.  i hope you have some luck with it all?

bodia - definitely brave going camping - i've never been in my life!  pleased you had fun anyway.  and great news about making the decision on selling the flat.  october will roll round quickly i'm sure so hopefully you can start the ball rolling on your tx too?

love to everybody else and hope you are having good weekends.
love 
ruby xxxx


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## nicolah

Hi Girls

Hope everyone is well.

Ruby - I'ts horrrible when everyone around you is either pg or have small children. I'm sending you lots of    as i know it must be really hard for you at the moment. One of my very good friends was due an Monday and I am awaiting news any moment that she has given birth. I know I will have to visit her and be happy for her and try to hide my own feelings.

Sunfizz - Hope you are feeling better now, I find it amazing how insensitive people can be, but I suppose we live and breathe IF, and for other people it doesn't even cross their minds that anyone would have trouble ttc. 

Well I at last have some good news, I found out yesterday that I WILL get funding. I went to see my cons. and just as I was about to ask hime what is going on with it all, he told me that he has sent all my paperwok off and I definately will get funding for 1 cycle and he is recommending that I have the treatment at the Lister as I have already had  a consultation with them re FET.
He say that we will do the full cycle first and use the frozen embies as an "insurance policy". I found out from the PCT that the time frame will be within 6 months. I finally feel as if I have some hope again, although we have decided that we will have this full cycle, then FET with the embies we have left from last time (and any from the new cycle) and that is it. I cannot keep going, and putting our lives on hold for what if's. I will be 35 in December and I have got in my mind if I am not pg by the time I am 36, I will not have any more treatment. By that time my DH will be nearly 42 and I don't want to keep putting him through all this either, as I know he really only does all the treatments for my sake and if I said tomorrow that I wanted to stop, it would be fine with him. But I am going to stay positive and hope that it doesn't come to that. 

Love to everyone 
Nicolaxx (who has hope again )


----------



## bodia

Hi All,

Nicola, Hooray for having hope again!!! Good for you for chasing 'em up re the funding. And it sounds now as if you are on track, that's fab news hon. Hope the six months flies by for you both.

Ruby, good to have you back on here! I really feel for you being questioned by people about if you want children. I have been getting that quite a lot, but have almost made the decision to just tell people we are having tx to shut them up! I say almost...because when it actually happenes I usually feel to hurt and emotional so I usually don't end up saying anything. Have told most of my close mates, and now feel that I am OK ish to tell others a little bit of info just to stop the bloody questions!!! Why oh why do we have to go through this on top of everything else?

Sunfizz, that situation with your boss sounds hard, I can understand how you must've felt. I had a similar situation when talking to my boss about a colleague who's on maternity leave when she asked if I was broody. I played it down as I don't want her to know I might start tx soon, but I felt really emotional about the fact she'd even dared ask me later on!!!

Viva, regarding Napro, I am also interested and have made enquiries at London Centre for Napro, keep planning to go to one of their open evenings, but somehow haven't made it yet.

Has anyone any experience of herbal medicine? There's a woman in W Sussex claiming to be a "herbalist and natural fertility" expert. I called her and she sounded fairly knowledgable. She claims herbal med has higher success rates than IVF! Trouble is, she puts you on a 4 mth programme (and DH too,) and says tx interupts this, and as I am finally in sight of IUI, I am not sure what to do!!!!?

I have just got back from a lovely few days break visiting a mate in N Ireland. Stunning coast there andwe went running on Tues. It's freezing there though! Had a great time at an open air concert in Belfast with jem, Maroon 5, Franz Ferdinand and the brilliant Scissor Sisters.

Hope everyone is well, and enjoying the last bits of sunshine of the summer!!!
Take care all,

Phil
xx


----------



## Viva

Hi Everyone,
Back from a very relaxing two weeks in France, just what was needed and miraculously despite the good food and wine didn't put on any weight...yippee. Should have my repeat U/S in a couple of weeks to see if the hydro is visible and therefore if it needs to come out...actually hope that it will be as I will then certainly get my lap and dye and more info on what the other tube is like!

Rubyroo...good to hear that you are hanging in there honey I hope you have a fantastic and well deserved holiday.

Phil good news about your IUI timespan, October will come around so fast with all the moving plans (a tad jealous of your concert going last weekend have seen Franz live before and they're great and a bit of a Scissor Sisters fan and I hear that they're great too!)

Nicola, it's great to hear that you have a plan, and even better to hear that you are getting funding!!! I will certainly take your advice and contact my PCT direct if we end up down the IVF route...had already decided that I might write to my MP about it...the goverment make such a thing about trying to provide an equal healthcare system for all (which I totally agree with ) and this seems to me to be the area with the biggest inequalities.

Sunfizz, I hope that you're having a good weekend and that your move is lifting! Work situations can be such a nightmare, our friends know our situation but very few at work do and that's the way I hope to keep it!!! Am in the bizzare situation in my new job that out of the small team that I manage (8 staff) one of them is pregnant (and finding it hard to manage the work at the moment...finding it hard to be fair and sympathetic) and another is having investigations into IF obviusoly feel very sympathetic and can't decide whether to tell her or not about my situation, probably won't as it's too weird being the boss... 

Have a good Bank Holiday everyone, I have to go and attack a mound of washing from our holiday now!

Love 
Viva
xxx


----------



## alicatty

Hello all, 

I've been looking for Phil to tell her this - and thought the rest of you might be interested!

Hi Phil, 

Remember me?  we chatted a bit at the start when you first joined the site.  I generally post on the Clomid thread.  Anyway - I've been looking for you to give you some hope!

I had a lap and dye and the consultant was very brusque.  She said there were no problems but after 3.5 years of ttc it was very unlikley it was going to happen naturally. She didn't even think that IUI would work, and advised me to go straight to IVF - wait 5 years for NHS or pay private.  I had 3 months of CLomid left so thought I may as well use them as we decide what to do.  Then some bad news, my DH is in the navy and was posted to a ship - now no chance of BMS!!

wanted to make the most of time with DH so forgot about TTC and had a great month binge drinking (such a great hobby) and smoking lots of ****.  DH had slipped disk so only managed BMS once CD13 and once CD14.

well, day 29 and start having period pains - oh no - the witch is on her way - but when I checked there was no show!  Thought how odd - got home, still no show!  Went to bed, got up 1 hour later to drive to 24 hour tescos and buy a test - tested - really faint line - could have been my eyes playing up.  Slept, woke up in morning - tested - still only really faint line that you could hardly see.

Drove to work, stopped in tescos again and bought clearblue digital.  Sat in work and waited for bladder to fill up.  Went to toilet, undid test - test not working!  No output on digital!  Very stressed now.  Tell work I have to leave (luckily I'm in charge this day) and drive at speed of light to tescos, demand a new test, drive back at speed of light - run to toilet and pee in cup.  Do test.  Am so nervous I peek at it out of corner of eye - still flashing - such a long 3 minutes........

and then it turns PREGNANT !!!!!!!

So - whatever they tell you - they don't know it all!

love to you all in your ttc voyages

alicatty
xxx


----------



## nicolah

Hi Alicatty,

Congratulations!!!!!   

What a wonderful story to read on a grey and miserable Monday morning. I'ts so good to hear from someone this has really happened to and not another "my auntie's cousin's best friends sister" story!!! 

Take care of yourself and your little  

Nicolaxx


----------



## Viva

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us and congratulations on your  
Take good care of yourself and keep in touch!
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## zara2005

hi  

congrats on ur  
thanx for ur story. it gives us all hope.

hope u hav a good pregnancy and a healthy baby
zara


----------



## nicolah

Hi Girls,

How is everyone??

I am facing yet another visit to a friend with a new baby tonight. I was going to wait until the weekend, but just want to get it over with, and I have to rush around after work to get a present for the baby (-Oh what fun!!!)

Honestly though, he is a lovely little(?) thing. My friend sent me some photos of him yesterday, he is a right little bruiser he was born on Sunday morning, 10lb 7½ oz!! OUCH!!!

I haven't heard any more about my funding yet but am trying to chase it up again this week. 

DH and I have also joined our local health club (again!!). We were members before but I stopped using it when I started tx and my DH was always a lazy bones!! But I NEED to lose some weight before I go for treatment again so I'm really trying hard. My BMI at the moment is FAR too high (about 34!!) So I would really like to get it under 30 (and beyond) before treatment and as I think it will be after Christmas anyway, I should be able to do it. I have been swimming twice this week and am going to Aqua Aerobics tomorrow. My gym induction isn't til Monday so will start really working out next week. I also get 3 personal training classes free and £50 voucher to spend at the beautician, the Pleasure and the Pain!!!

Hope everyone is ok!!
Nicolaxx


----------



## Viva

Hi Nicolah,
I've had a stupidly busy work week, which is great for taking the mind off baby stuff! Like you I have loads of friends expecting at the moment, it's so hard trying to be positive all the time and I do get a bit fed up buying bady clothes etc but never for me! My hardest thing was our God Daughters 5th birthday party where we stood around like spare parts as our friends were too busy to talk, their children too busy playing with their friends and everyone else ignored us as we don't have children! What fun!
HAving a repeat scan on 21st to gain more info about my hydro and then consultant appointment on 4th Oct, then see where we go next!
Hope you have a good weekend and everyone else is well!
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## sunfizz

Congratulations alicatty - that's an inspiring situation.  Lots of luck for the future.

I've been off here for a while, just thinking about things.  Had crampy pains this morning, rapidly followed by AF - she has at least always been thoughtful enough to turn up on time, never giving me the opportunity to wonder.

Other stuff has just been getting worse and worse around us - everyone says it's the stress that's meaning we're still having no luck, but I'm just not sure how to avoid it.  My mum's leukaemia has relapsed.  She is having another course of treatment, but it seems like this is just to prolong the inevitable for at most a few more months and there really is no chance that she will see any grandchildren.  I feel like we have failed her terribly - perhaps if we had started TTC earlier, or had not smoked, or had not drunk coffee then things would be different.  I try to think positive happy thoughts, and sometimes it works, but never for very long.

Anyway, best of luck to everyone else on their journeys - I'm not sure where ours is going to go from here.


----------



## nicolah

Hi Sunfizz

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum's relapse. I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling at the moment, but just remember that we are all hear to listen if you need us.

And please don't make yourself feel any worse with "what ifs", all any of us can do is make the most of the present, as none of us know what is in the future. I really hope things get better for you. I suppose reading Alicattys story gives us all hope.

Viva - Sorry you had a horrible time at the birthday party, I've been there many times as well, as my husband has 9 (yes 9!!) nieces and nephews ranging from 18 to 4. Fingers crossed that you get some good news at your next appointment.

Hi to all you other bouncing balls, hope you are all ok on this wet and miserable morning.

Nicolaxx


----------



## Viva

Hi Everyone,
So sorry to hear that your Mum is not so well again Sunfizz, I'm sure that she doesn't think in any way that you've failed her, just having you around is no doubt very precious at the moment. As for starting too ttc earlier I'm sure we've all wished we had at one time or another, hindsight is a wonderful thing! However, if it didn't seem to be the right thing to do at the time than it probably wasn't.
Hope you are all managing to relax a little this weekend, I am somewhat looking forward to my scan this Wednesday so we have a better idea of the options which may be open to us!
Love to you all
Viva.
XXX


----------



## Viva

Just had my scan, no hydro seen, don't feel any further forward but going to see our consultant in a couple of weeks, think the lap and dye is inevitable, don't really want one, but looks neccesary to get answers and hopefully improve our chances! Just wondering how long I'll have to wait for that now!
Hope you're all having a good week,
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## nicolah

Hi Viva,

Sorry you didn't really get any answers, but lap and dye really isn't that bad (-I should know I've had quite a few!!) You're usually back to your old self after a few days, and at least they will see what's really going on "in there" 

If I was you I would chase up an appointment if you haven't heard in a week or two.

take care
Nicolaxx


----------



## Viva

Hi Nicolah,
Thanks, we have an appointment with our consultant on the 4th, so should get the green light for our lap then, have already been on the waiting list for 5 months (our consultant puts everyone on when they first see him) so hopefully it wont be too much longer!
How is your health drive going, I am presently on one too, have to go to the gym later which I hate! But have lost a few pounds so that's good. What is your next plan treatmentwise.
Have a good Saturday.
Hope all the rest of you bouncing balls are well.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## bodia

Hi all,

Sorry I've been useless and very quiet. It's beena combo of factors really...I've started my new job and am working full time and very busy, we've had our flat on the market and it's just sold and so we are house hunting every spare second, and I've been trying to keep a lid on my feelings in order to cope with work and everything else so haven't been on here as much as usual.

I just wanted to drop in and say hi and hope you are all doing OK? I am going to the hospital next Weds for a fertility meeting about IUI, and should probably start during my next cycle. Have been a mixture of pleased and terrified and upset about the reality of actually starting treatment!

Anyway, just a quickkie as it's getting late, but thinking of you all....

Phil
xx


----------



## nicolah

Hi Ladies

How is everyone?

Phil - Hope the house hunting is going ok, it's great going from a flat to a house. We moved to our house nearly 2 years ago, and I love it!! We are still way off finishing the improvements, as it was really terrible when we moved in and really needed gutting, but I think by the end of next year it should be finished, and it will be so satisfying! I hope your appointment next week goes well, and I know it's easy to say, but try not to stress too much. Just think this could be your time!!Good luck!!

Viva - How did your appointment go? Did you find out when you will have your lap?? My health drive is going ok, although I've had a few hiccups as I had  a terrible cold last week, was off work all week so couldn't go to the gym and wasn't eating very healthily, but I have lost about ½ stone so far, still a long way to go though. 
I am currently waiting information from the local PCT as to a free IVF cycle on the NHS - Hurrah!!! My consultant told me that I am eligible and he has sent off all the paperwork and is recommending that I have my treatment at the Lister, so I'm really happy about that. At the moment I am having monthly Zolodex injections for my endo. This puts you into a sort of temporary menopause and will stop my endo getting any worse. I had a few courses of these before and they seem to work, your periods and everything stop, and you also get terrible hot flushes but I don't seem to get the mood swings etc that can also be side effects of this drug - lucky for hubby!!!

Well I am off to Scotland for the weekend and I was really looking forward to it, but I feel a bit strange this morning because my little sis will be really showing by now and I think that will be a little bit hard. I haven't really been talking to my mum and sis so much about my IF lately as I'm scared it takes the shine off her pregnancy, and I think if I started talking about it I would end up crying and I don't want to upset them or myself. So very deep breaths and lumps in throat this weekend I think!!

Anyway, enough about me! Hope everyone else is doing ok. 

Have a good weekend
Nicolaxx


----------



## Viva

Hello this rather dull Thursday afternoon,
Good to hear from both of you. Nicola I hope that your weekend wasn't too painful and sad, do you now how long you will have to wait for your IVF cycle? Phil I hope that your meeting went well on Wednesday and that the house hunting is not too stressful!
I had my consultant appointment last week and it seems I still have quite some time to wait before my laporotomy. In addition I think the consultant thinks that we're mad as we don't want to go for IVF at the moment, we've decided to give Napro a try for a year or so and do feel very positive about this but the hospital don't seem to know anything about it nor do they seem to want to know anything about it. We however feel very happy with the way that Napro gives you a lot more control and insight into what is going on with your body and is particularly when the problem is with the women, however if I was to find out that I have two blocked tubes, than we would have to think again!
Take care
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## bodia

Hi all,

Long time no speak!

Thought I'd better check in and see how you are all doing?

Also, wanted to tell you all my news...I had my first natural cycle IUI today!

Am feeling very positive which is great. DH's sample was described as "whizzy" which apparently means excellent!  

And it didn't hurt, the nurse was fab and she said it had gone like textbook.  

So, happy to finally have got to this point, had plenty of up's and down's on the way here and almost didn't have IUI at all this side of Chrissy.

Also, have got tickets for Robbie!!! So I think it's a good omen!

Sending you all loads of  vibes and  

Take care,

Philippa


----------



## Viva

Hey Phillipa,
Great to hear that all went well, will be keeping everything crossed for you.
I finally got a 'provisional' date through for my Lap and Dye, but it's not until the 8th Feb which is a bit frustrating!
Hope everyone else is well
Love
Viva
XXX


----------



## bodia

Hi Girls,

Just popping in to say hello and wondering how you are all doing?....

I am in the middle of my 3rd 2WW. 2 IUI BFN so far, so really hoping for a change of luck.

Would love to hear from any of you.


Phil
xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi there phil just wanted to wish u good luck with your 2 WW i will keep everything crossed for u!

Kate


----------



## bodia

Thanks Kate,

Well done on your weight loss...how are you doing it?

When are you having your HSG?

xx


----------



## Kamac80

hi phil

I am doing the weight watchers diet but as i have all the books from about a yr ago i am just doing it off my own back as i cant afford to pay a club each week!! Plus hubby is getting me jogging!!! I need to get into my ball dress for the 4th feb so hopeing to lose about half a stone for then!!

I am having my HSG on monday and getting quite nervous now!!

Take care

Kate


----------



## bodia

Hi Kate,

I am glad to hear you are into jogging! It's the best way to lose weight, get fit, tone up, and generally feel better about yourself. I started running a year ago to keep me off the ****, I got totally addicted to it for a bit. Have slowed down a lot now I'm have treatment, but I went for a  3 mile run this morning. That's the first time I've done that on the 2WW, but I find it puts me in a much better mood and helps me feel happier!

You can defo lose half a stone and look stunning.  The other great thing about running is you can eat what you like!!!!!  

Good luck for Monday. I had a very good doctor doing my HSG, and it was over very quickly and not painful. Try to relax as much as poss.

Thinking of ya!

xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi again

God u r good running 3 miles! I am starting gently and jogging round the park!! About 6 yrs ago when i was at college i use to go running every morning before college and as soon as i started working i gave it all up!

Thankyou for wishing me luck - i am nervous about my HSG but ive heard so many positive stories and a couple bad ones but when ive had previous scans they have been ok apart from 1 cyst so i am hopeful that my tubes arnt blocked

Also good luck with the 2WW - when do u test?

Kate


----------



## bodia

I test on Weds. Have no strong feelings about what might happen at the moment...I have no idea!

Good luck for tomorrow,

xx


----------



## Kamac80

hi its me!

Good luck for weds please let me know xx

My HSG went ok - the doc says it looks fine but she will get a report together. It was really painful when they inflated the balloon - i had tears in my eyes! Luckily the nurse was lovely and was holding my hand!

Speak soon

Kate


----------



## nicolah

Well Hello Ladies!!!

Great to see this thread started up again so thanks Phil, for starting it again. I really hope you get the right result on Weds, we all deserve some good news, I'll be thinking of you! 

Welcome Kate, I don't think we have spoken before, I don't remember your user name anyway, or maybe I'm just going senile .

Hello to Viva and the rest of the bouncing balls, I hope all is well with you all.

Not much happening with me really, my little sis had her baby on 30th December a little girl called Rebecca, who has stolen her aunties heart. I went up to Scotland to see her at the weekend, and she is a little doll - totally gorgeous. I had a hysteroscopy on 6th Jan and they removed a fibroid, so just came back to work today. Cons said that everything elso looked ok as it can be with my endo. I am now waiting an appt at Hammersmith for my free cycle, although I think I will probably have to wait a few months for my initial appt. I don't mind as I am still on my health kick. I have now lost 1 stone, had a bit of a blip over Christmas but am now back on track, and really need to lose at least another stone before I go to Hammersmith. 

Take care everyone

Nicola


----------



## Kamac80

hi nicola

I havnt been on this thread before i saw it a few days ago and said hello and got chatting to phil who has been really nice to me  

I also love this website and have now become really addictive!!

Speak soon

Kate


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone,
It's great to see this thread up and running again, and also a little strange as I haven't been on here for ages.
Am definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you Phil, and well done on your weight loss Nicola. Welcome Kate, I notice you're from Berkshire, I'm a Reading girl so I was just wondering where you're getting investigated at the moment. Good to hear you HSG was clear too!

Well my lap should be taking place very soon which will be great to get some more answers! In the meantime I have been busy Naprotracking which is throwing up loads of signs that my hormone levels aren't what they should be. I'll be referred to the Napro Dr after my lap and will have a few more tests to give a clearer picture. The good news is that a lot of the potential hormone irregularities are potentially treatable, so feel really positive at the moment and looking forward to getting some reasons for why it's not happening for us!

Have a good day
Love to all 
Viva
XXX


----------



## Kamac80

hi viva

I am near Reading!! We are being seen at the Royal Berks Hospital what about u?

Kate


----------



## bodia

Hello All,

Well, first the bad news...got another   this morning. Have been feeling pretty numb. Was busy busy at work all day, and then went to the pub and had a glass of wine, and then had fish and chips followed by mint aero for dinner!!! No AF yet, but am certain she's on her way. Now I have to have 1 more unassisted IUI before I can move on to the drugs!!!!

Viva & Nicolah - lovely to hear from you both!

Nicolah - well done on your weight loss! Hope your appointment come along soon. Glad your sis is OK, sounds like you are coping like a star.

Viba - I am thinking more and more about napro. Where do you have it? I am looking into the London Centre for Napro. All intersting stuff though. Glad they might have found some answers for you, and that you're feeling so positive. Would you recommend Napro?

Kate - well done for getting through the HSG! At least it's over and it sounds as if all was OK. I think if there are major probs they tend to show up at the time.

Anyway, take care all and chat soon...   


Philippa
xx


----------



## Kamac80

hi philippa

So sorry to hear that you have a   sending you lots of hugs  

I will keep u all informed

Kate xx


----------



## Viva

Hi All,

So sorry to hear about your BFN Phillippa, I'm amazed that you have to have 5 unassisted IUI's before they move onto anything else! Hope you're taking it easy this week and treating yourself! 
We're being seen at the London Fertility Care Centre and see a wonderful women called Nicole Syed, seeing her always makes me feel more positive! There's a new website which you may want to take a look at www.fertilitycarecentre.co.uk. I would recommend Napro at the moment although realistically I am several months off a BFP as they do take a while gathering information before treatment is recommended. THey reckon to have an 80% diagnosis rate (very few unexplained diagnosis kicking around) and 40-60% ending up with a baby rate, which realisitically I think is as good as IVF which is what the NHS is pushing us towards!

Hi Kate, we've been being seen at the Royal Berks and that's where I have my laporotomy in a few weeks time, probably won't be with them for much longer as there probably isn't much else they can offer me. Really good news that your tubes look fine, my left looked blocked on the HSG so I am a little anxious about what they'll find at my lap!

Have a good evening

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Kamac80

hi viva i hope the laporotomy goes ok for you

How come there is nothing else the Berks can do for you?

Speak soon

Kate xx


----------



## Viva

Hi Kate, 
From what they've told me so far, they don't think Clomid would be beneficial, they are encouraging me towards IVF, which unfortunately in Berkshire you have to pay for until you get your one free attempt at 36! (if you haven't already paid for any attempts). They would obviusoly refer me on for this if this is what we want (which at present we don't) but it would be elsewhere from the Berks.
Have they suggested any possible treatment yet for you ?
Love Viva


----------



## Kamac80

hi viva

I understand now - it is a pain as we have been told that we would have to pay for treatment as well which seems so unfair

As we are not quite at the stage yet of discussing treatments as we are still having the investigations i dont know what will be said - although when we saw the dcotor she said that ICSI or IVF would be the best for us - the problem is that hubby has 100% abnormal sperm so it will have to be done through IVF or ICSI.

Just another question as i am quite new to all this - does clomid stimulate more eggs? As if thats correct then that wouldnt be the best treatment for me as hubbys sperm do get to my egg its just as they have an abnormal shaped head they cant get into the egg! If that makes sense?!!

Kate xx


----------



## Viva

Hi Kate,
Clomid is good at stimulating your ovaried to produce eggs and is generally used for women who have polycystic Ovary disease, my ovaries don't look great but the tests that I've had do seem to confirm that I'm ovulating therefore I shouldn't need it, also wouldn't be much use with tubal problems which I probably have! I guess it wouldn't be too much use in your situation. That's part of the thing with fertility problems everyone seems to be so different!
It is very frustrating knowing that you have to pay for treatment when it's free in some areas, especially as the younger you are the better chance you have of IVF or ICSI working and we don't get a free attempt until we're 36!
Viva
XXX


----------



## Kamac80

hi viva

Thankyou for explaining to me again - i am learning lots on here which is good  

Everyone is different like u say so once i see the specialist again they will advise us on the right route to take

Kate xx


----------



## bodia

Hi All,

Viva - thanks so much for your Napro advice. I only knew about the London Centre for Napro, so will defo check out your place. I am very interested in it all. We are currently on 2WW of 4th and final unassisted IUI; if this fails I can have two assisted cycles, and then I can go on the waiting list for 1 free IVF at St Barts in London. Like you, I am not sure I want IVF. As unexpained, it feels as if we should be having further tests to try to identify what the probs are rather than blindly going ahead. So, Napro seems like a good natural progression for me...although obviously really hoping and praying I won't get that far! Have you had lots of tests? How far are you off tx?

Kate - hope things are going well. It sounds as if you are getting your research done early! How's the weight loss going?

Hope everyone else is well. Testing on 15/02, so please keep it crossed for us!\

Take care all,

Philippa
x


----------



## Kamac80

hi philipa

Well i got the results of my HSG and it was all fine so pleased - we definitly now know its male factor here so hubby feeling a bit sorry for himself! Only lost 3 pounds but getting there very slowly - just cut all my snacks out at the moment and see what that does before i try something drastic like actually counting calories!!!

Kate xx


----------



## bodia

Hi Kate,

Glad you survived the HSG and all was well. How do you know it's male factor? Has your DH considered acupuncture? My DH had a very bad SA about a year ago; went for acupuncture, and along with some lifstyle changes this totally transformed his SA...he really swears by it. We both have it about once a month now...and I am a total needle phobe!
Take care,

xxx


----------



## Kamac80

hi philipa

Well ive had all my tests now and doc said i am fine - as hubby has done 1 SA which was 100% abnormal and he now needs to do his 2nd one but will have to get this done privately so they can do a more detailed SA.

I think he needs to change his lifestyle a bit as he has a very stressful job along with not eating the right things at the right times as well as drinking more than he really should and occasionally smokes. I could try with the acupunture but not sure he would go for that!

Kate xx


----------



## bodia

Hi Kate,

Glad all is well. Acupuncture really helped my DH realise that he needed to achieve certain lifestlye changes...I'd been trying to tell him but I think having another person (a man) tell him helped! He stopped smoking (well, we both did eventually thankfully,) and now drinks only in moderation and exercises almost daily and hardly drinks any tea or coffee and cut right down on his sugar intake. It's really paid off though and his   are much healthier and happier!

Take care,

xx


----------



## Viva

Good Morning Ladies,
Have just had a rather stressful week as my lap and dye which I've been waiting for for 9 months now, was cancelled the morning before the op as they've found I have MRSA on my skin and therefore can't do it because of the risk of infection. As a nurse I'm not worried about the MRSA, it doesn't effect you unless you have a wound when it can increase your risk of getting a wound infection, and as all my collegues at work keep reminding me most health care professionals probably have it on their skin someof the time anyway! THey don't even stop you working from patients anymore beacuse unless you bad at washing your hands (and I'm obsesively good!) you can't pass it on to patients!Anyway, they've rescheduled my op for the 22nd MArch and will treat the MRSA before then.

Whislt I can be rationale about why they cancelled my op and I know the 22nd March will come around really quickly it didn't stop me being gutted and spending most of Tuesday in tears.

Kate, It's good news that your HSG was clear, as someone with dodgy tubes believe me you don't need that complication! I would certainly consider Phil's advice re: your DH, I think there's also quite alot of evidence as well for really looking at diet and getting it right there are probably books you can buy to point you inthe right direction.

Phil, I've been napro charting for over 4 months now and so far from looking at my charts it appears that I probably don't ovulate every month (obviously as they only scan you once in the NHS to check this they assume that if that month is OK then all the others will be too!) Also there are a lot of indicators that my progesterone levels may be too low at some point in my cycle. Again on the NHS or I guess with a traditional approach they do your baseline hormones and then your 21 day progesterone and if they're fine they don't worry, however apparantly some women's progesterone levels drop low after the 21day test and obviously you wouldn't then be able to sustain a pregnanacy. I had been waiting for my Laporoscopy to then go and see the Napro Dr who will want me to have blood test and scans to confirm what we suspect from the charting. 
As far as treatment, I will need to get my tubes sorted out and it's likely that I may need to take progesterone supplements and possibly other hormonal treatments Napro tends to maintain your hormone levels in a much closer range than a more traditional approach. The only different thing I'm doing presently is taking Angus Castus (a herbal remedy that helps regulate your hormones) and B6 for my periods which are apparantly too light.
It seems quite complicated but is really simple when it's explained and is very holistic but you don't neccesarily get a quick result, although Nicole the napro practitioner we see has told us a couple of stories about couples who has been trying for ages and then got pregnant in the first couple of months of charting just because they were now timing their BMS just right!

Anyway hope you're both well and have had better weeks than mine.
Take care
Love 
Viva
XXX


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## Kamac80

hi viva i am sending u big   as u didnt get your lap and dye

Its true though as i too work on the wards for the NHS and am sure that myself and others i work with have MRSA - didnt realise they would test u for it before the op though?

Take care

Kate


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## Viva

Thanks Kate,
Feeling a bit better about it all but it's just so frustrating! Testing you for it is definitely the safe thing to do, it's just a shame they didn't test earlier so I could have been treated in time and still had my op!
What do you do?
Love Viva
XXX


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## bodia

Hi Girls,

Viva -   so sorry that the Lap didn't happen for you. You had been waiting so long, and it feels like you need to do this to move onto the next step, so I completley understand why you are so frustrated. Glad you are feeling a bit better, hope you are having a good weekend.

I am OK. Day 11 of 2WW. Not feeling anything at all! I have managed to get on with my life a bit more this time; had a glass of champers on my birthday and a glass of wine the week before...which I never normally do on 2WW. Also, have been running twice this week and on Fri cycled 20km! Have had lots of problems with our house sale and purchase..at the moment that is looking like it might fall through at any minute!
We both have the week off work, (it's half term for me, and DH took the week off as we hoped to be moving.) So, tomorrow we are going to have a nice day out in Greenwich and going to the Maritime Musuem and the Observatory, and then we have a meeting at the London Centre for Naprotechnology, to talk about all that. Viva, I went on that website and downloaded a load of stuff from your place, so will compare the two.
On Tues we have a meeting at the hospital to discuss the drugs for the next 2 IUI cycles if this one fails. I am due to test on Weds and then will start the drugs on Day 2 of my next cycle. Really hoping and praying it doesn't get to that stage!

Hope everyone is having a good weekend,

xxx


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## Viva

Hi...
Having a very strange day...it all kind of got worse when my younger sister called to tell me she is 10 weeks pregnant, she'd been dreading telling and been putting it off for ages. Despite the fact that I'm really pleased for her and on some levels am looking forward to being an Aunite, have spent most of the day in tears...they'd only been trying for about 5 minutes and it seems so unfair. DH is really gutted and we're both feeling upset as, although we know we had no right because I'm the oldest, we've been married and trying for a baby for way longer we really wanted to have the first grandchild. I'm just so full of such a mix of feelings..partly I just feel really sorry for us, partly I feel sorry for my Sis as no one in the family knows whether to feel happy for her or sad to me and everyone's reaction is fantastic news..oh...no..Poor Tonny...and there's a bit of me that's even slightly pleased about that, after all we've been through so much and got no where and at least they have a baby on the way. I just feel really numb at the moment and am walking around in a daze...whilst DH is going into full on distraction decorating mode...We have a week off together and were planning to decorate anyway, so this is who he copes...just as well we'd already picked the paint goodness only knows what I'd have picked today otherwise!

Oh well...I guess I'll feel better in a few days....

Hope your weekends are proving to better than mine!

Love Viva
XXX


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## Kamac80

hi viva i am a student nurse i have done 2 yrs training and have 2 yrs to go!

Sorry to hear that u feel upset over your sister - i kind of know how it feels - i remember my SIL telling us but i felt ok about that - i also get upset as i want to give my mum the first grandkid but i guess i have nothing to fear as i am 25 and my brothers are 16 and 13! My mum said even if they did get a girl pregnant it wouldnt be the same bond as a mother and daughter who is pregnant so that was good to hear

Take care

Kate xx


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## bodia

Hi All,

Viva -   It's so hard hearing of other's pregnancies anyway, let alone people in the family. I think your reaction is completley normal and no wonder you feel this way. Try to give yourself a few days to fully digest the news and then maybe try to explain to your sis how you have mixed feelings. Hang in there...it will happen for you and DH and you are doing everything possible to make that dream come true. xxx

We went to London Centre for Napro yesterday for a meeting. We have pretty much decided to try Napro if the next two cycles of IUI don't work. I find out if the latest cycle has worked tomorrow, so keep it all crossed please!!! I am interested in checking out the Fertility Care Centre as it seems their prices are quite a bit cheaper...Viva, could you please PM me and give me some idea of what the costs are from your prespective (if you don't mind me asking!) The London Centre for Napro reckons they have a 54% success rate for couples under 38 who've had no IVF, and they reckon that only 1% of couples will remain unexplained after the programme.

Also have been to the hospital today to talk about the drugs we will have to take if we get a negative tomorrow and move on to assisted cycles. Not looking forward to that at all!

Anyway, take care all,
xx


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## Viva

Hi Girls,
Thanks for your thoughts am feeling a bit better and have had a chat with my Sister, DH is still finding things really tough at the moment though so just trying to support him!
Kate so you're entering the nursing profession too, I've been at it for years now it's generally a great job...but occassionally I do wonder if I'm slightly mad with the stress and long hours it brings...but the job satisifaction it brings is pretty awesome!
Bodia have been thinking of you, I will PM you with the details of our Napro place.
Love and hugs
Viva
XXX


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## Kamac80

hi viva glad u are feeling better now  

Yes for some reason i have decided to go into nursing!!! Always wanted to be a police woman but they wont have me!! Still i get to stab ppl with needles in this job as well as be thrown up on etc etc!! All good fun! In all seriousness i am loving the training and the ward i usually work on is fantastic experience.

Kate xx


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## Viva

Hey Girls,
Finally had my Laporoscopy and the results are not good! Basically my pelvis seems to be full of adhesions with my ovaries and tubes and part of my bowel glued to the pelvic wall, basically conception isn't likely to happen naturally! SUrgery is probably not an option and we still don't feel that IVF is the right route for us, so we're beginning to think seriuosly about adoption which has always been an option for us anyway.
Despite the bad news actually feel much happier to know where we're at!
Hope you are all well.
Love Viva
XXX


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## Kamac80

hi viva so sorry to hear that its not good news - it doesnt sound very pleasent actually.

Im pleased to hear u are in good spirits though and adoption is always a good route as there are many children who need good homes and families.

As for me - not much - still trying to save to have ICSI but will see what happens!

Take care

Kate xx


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## Viva

Thanks Kate,
Seems you've had all your investigations really quickly! All the decisions relted to infertility and treatment are jsut so difficult aren't they? The postcode lottery in relation to who gets funded for which treatment is also really hard isn't it! JUs trying to stay positive that we will be parents someday somehow!
X


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## Kamac80

hi viva - well u never know it may just happen one day out of the blue but thats a distant hope for me at times

Take care

Kate xx


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