# further complications, feeling gutted, need support please



## Witchie Poo Cat (Aug 12, 2005)

Hi Girls

As most of you know Ive been TTC for over 7 years now.  Since March 2004 Ive had Lap & Dye, various bloods done and DH has had SAs done too.

Ive been on Clomid 6mths, off 6 mths, on 4mths, off 3 months and on again for 4 months (am in mnth 2 of last 4 months).

When I was first seen at NHS clinic by gynae I was told due to my age I would be added to IVF straight away.  Then in Nov 2005 found out I had never been added but fertility consultant checked the notes and arranged for referral to be back dated.

Just found out today that Im still not on the list and now I have to see a 3rd consultant to discuss the situation and he will then decide whether or not Im to be added to the list and when.

Am absolutely gutted.  It seems even after seeing the infertility specialist and getting her approval for IVF its still not definite and I have to be further approved by someone else who may advise alternative treatment.

Im 36 in October and getting really worried now and if Im not added to IVF list I will be nearly 39 before my name comes up (assuming he adds me in April if not before).  Since I dont O unmedicated and cant have any more clomid after this I dont know what else Im going to do.

Feel like Ive been kicked in the teeth today.  Rang this guys secretary who says all IVF referrals in my area go through him so looks like I have no choice in the matter.  Cant afford private treatment either.

Help, am feeling so low, cant stop crying.  DH cant get away from work and is policing tonight too so am on my own til tomorrow  

Sorry to have a moan, was feeling so positive up until this happened today.

Witchie Poo Cat


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## KerryB (Mar 7, 2005)

Oh honey thats awful. You poor love.   I think you should make a complaint first of all that there has been so much messing around, and the fact you were told you were on the list twice and your not is absolutely disgraceful. I can understand how you feel about time, age and not having more medication, it must be a huge worry.

All I can say is stay strong. Make a complaint and then see your cons and discuss your concerns with him, and how disappointed and appalled you are by the service you have received.

Lots of love
xxxx


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## *Bev* (Dec 20, 2005)

Sending you   hun.

I think Flower is right, you should complain...


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

oh Witchie 
I remember your last hossie visit when they agreed you had been messed about and they would slot you on the list at the right place. how can they change their minds again?  which hospital is it?

I know when we got listed we got a letter dated to say when we were officially added so we have it in writing.

I would contact the hospital, ask for the PALS (patient liaison service) and tell them you want the name of the chief executive to write to.  They have a duty to respond answering your questions within a certain number of days.

Why do they think they can just mess with us like this.  I know how you feel about age, our IVF waiting list is 3 years and I'll be 35, they won't treat you over age 40.  

big hugs xxx


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## Witchie Poo Cat (Aug 12, 2005)

oh....and I forgot to add that my BMI is too high for IVF, its around 35/36 just now, and I know I have to get it below 30.  My consultant knows im working on this but you just know what this guy is going to say when I see him dont you?  Its all going to be about my weight and how he cant add me yet, even though my consultant said I could be added as long as my BMI was below 30 by the time treatment is due to start.  In fact, his secretary said that usually they just add the IVF referrals to the waiting list when they come in but when he read my referral he wanted to see me.  My own consultant did give me a hard time initially in November about my weight but when I saw her in January I think she realised I was doing my best and didnt mention it. I cant bear going through all that again.

Have asked DH to book the day of the appointment off work for moral support.  Am terrified about this.  Please, please let there be a miracle and let me get pregnant on Clomid before 27th April, Im due to test on 22nd anyway.  

Sorry to whinge and moan so much, just feel like my world fell apart after struggling so hard to pull it together recently.

Witchie Poo Cat


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## flowerpot (Jan 20, 2005)

Witchie, as you know, I'm trying to get my BMI down for IVF too but they still listed me and as long as my weight is at the weight they want by the time my name comes to the top of the list then we can proceed.  It certainly didnt stop them putting me on the list xxx


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## b3ndy (Sep 13, 2005)

Witchie - I think that's appalling treatment you've had so far - not least of all because you've been lied to TWICE by the looks of it.

If the Chief Exec of the hospital cares about his job he would be disgusted too - I would def write to him - or - and I don't know if this is possible - even see if you can make an appt to see him to make a complaint - though I know they're busy people and would probably decline this.

Still - it's not good enough that you've been mucked around like this and I'd start to do some shouting at people while you're still worked up about it. We keep being told about our health service being a 'customer orientated' environment, well this is an instance where it's let you down and what you need now is someone to start speaking some truth.

good luck

s
xx


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## Witchie Poo Cat (Aug 12, 2005)

HI girls

Thanks for all your words of support.  I've been doing some research on the internet and what i have found out is that the person Im due to see next month is actually director of obstetrics and gynaecology at another hospital.  He is also on the PCT board of executives and runs the private IVF clinic near me.  So, maybe this isnt so bad after all??  My only worry is that if it doesnt go my way there arent many people above him to complain to.

I think what I will do is wait and see what happens at the appointment with him.  If Im not happy I will go back and see my infertility specialist and see what she says.  Incidentally my infertility consultant is a member of his team at the private hospital so perhaps its a good thing that she referred me to her colleague.  Her secretary isnt back til Monday so also going to ring her and see if this is normal practice and try to find out what might be going on and if she has heard anything.

At the moment dont know whether Im coming or going.  Dont know whether to be pleased or angry.  Aaaarrgghhh the not knowing is a killer.  Im doing my best to try and stay relaxed this cycle and this happens  

If things dont go well at the consultation then you bet that the chief exec will be hearing from me, as might my MP!  In the meantime Im going to try my best (easier said than done) to forget about it and concentrate on my clomid cycle and try and do all the right things.

Might take a wander to the shops in a bit and have a wander round, clock up a few steps and maybe treat myself to something non-edible!  Any suggestions!!! lol

thanks for being there girls, I dont know what I would do without you all  

Hugs

Witchie Poo Cat


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## travelgirl (Jan 8, 2006)

So sorry you are feeling bad  sending you a great big  and want to let you know that we all feel your pain and we are real people, who care for one another  Will be sending you all the comforting vibes I can today!

Helen


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## Vikster (Oct 11, 2005)

Sending you lots of hugs witchie.  They really are messing you about, complain as much as you can if you don't get what you want out of you appointment.

Vik


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## Tulip78 (Mar 7, 2006)

OMG i cannot believe how much they have messed you around, as if this journey wasn't stressful enough without them adding to it like this, i would defo complain if you can and express your concerns re age and waiting time issues, as at the end of the day it is their fault and someone hasn't done there job properly, once is bad enough but twice is taking the Micki! if you complain you never know, they could jump you right to the top of the queue!!

I really hope they sort this out for you, good luck at your next appt with the cons.

Take care, be strong and good luck,

Tulip xx


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## maybe (Feb 10, 2006)

Hi Witchie,

. I sorry to hear what nightmare you have had.  I am sending you     for this month.


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## sweetpeapodder (Feb 6, 2005)

Witchie - I'm sorry to read your post - I hope you have some better news soon


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## Witchie Poo Cat (Aug 12, 2005)

awww...thanks girls, your support really means a lot to me (seeing as how its the only support Ive got   )

Will keep you posted on what happens when I see this guy on the 27th.

Hugs

Witchie Poo Cat


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## b3ndy (Sep 13, 2005)

That's the date of my next appt with my consultant Witchie

Here's hoping there'll be lots of   vibes floating around for both of us that day!!

S
xx


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## Witchie Poo Cat (Aug 12, 2005)

thats cool b3ndy, i wont feel so alone then if you are seeing your guy that day too.  Fingers crossed it goes well for us.


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