# We're going to be parents after cancer, chemo and 4 failed IVFS!!!



## Grumpygirl (Oct 24, 2004)

Hello,
I am a regular on FF and have been for a few years, but have posted a lot less recently due to being so busy. I decided it was about time I made an effort, as there may be someone out there who has a story similar to mine or can empathise in some way and who may draw some comfort from our story, so here goes...

I had ovarian cancer at the age of 29 in 2003, one year after we planned a honeymoon baby following our wedding in 2002. It was a massive shock to be told I had cancer, let alone would be infertile. My first instinct was to get better and fight the cancer, but I always wanted to have a family and was never going to give up on that. My hubby was there for me every step of the way and loved me even when I didn't have a hair on my body and looked like the guy from the Prodigy video of Firestarter. I could do my own Jo-style montage but it wouldn't be so glam! LOL.

I had both ovaries and tubes removed during a major abdominal op in Dec 2003. A week later my best friend had her baby and so began the next 5 yrs of every other bugger under the sun sprogging with ease and some people coping much better with our infertility than others. Thank God I found FF 2 years later when I was allowed to start planning IVF through egg donation, as the next 3 years included 4 failed IVFs, all with donor eggs in Greece. I found the most amazing clinic in Athens (Serum) and now there are loads of abroadies going there, often being successful through the lovely Penny where others have failed. The ladies on Abroadies have kept me going through some v.dark days and with their support and friendship I found a life line I just didn't have in the outside world, so thank you to the site founders at FF, you're the bees knees!

After 4 failures and being told by immune docs that the next step was IVIg, my oncologist said no, not with your medical history. Penny in Greece said I should have another fully exploratory hysteroscopy, but somewhere deep inside I realised I couldn't do anymore. It took 2 full months of crying my eyes out whenever I was alone to start to come to the realisation that I couldn't have one single investigation more, that the cancer and all the failures were taking their toll on me, but there it was. I felt so, so guilty that I was making this decision not just for me but for my lovely hubby who was there with me and for me in everything. It was just so unfair, but I couldn't do it anymore.

We looked into adoption, and are still open to the idea in the long run, as well as planning to foster. If they'll have us! But we also looked into surrogacy and went to our first SUK social in Dec 2007. One of the lovely ladies on Abroadies was planning to be a surrogate after having twins through DE and having met her and thinking, 'wow, she's just like me and so normal' it opened my mind to the idea. Everyone was so welcoming and just normal when we went along to the socials we felt right at home, despite thinking beforehand that people would be weirdos. LOL. They were either people like us who'd had a really hard time or people willing to help, and it was lovely to just be ourselves in a room full of children with no awkward questions asked and everyone quite at home with being infertile, if not happy about it.

We went along with the idea of giving it 6 months to see where that took us, and we joined up properly in April 2008. In May we were absolutely gobsmacked to hear that one of the lovely ladies we really liked was interested in getting to know us with a view to being our surrogate, and so began the most amazing journey. We have been so lucky, not just to be picked, but to be picked by a lovely couple and their family who could have picked just about anyone but chose to make our dreams come true. We have made some lovely friends through SUK and have so much to be thankful for. We can hardly believe our luck in meeting the lovely Jane and her family.

Our amazing friend Jane is currently 22 weeks pregnant through straight surrogacy and yesterday we bought a buggy! Is this really me Sometimes it feels surreal, but it is getting more and more real with each passing milestone and happy event. We also know the flavour of baby but aren't posting that yet! We are just calling it Baby Giggly and getting the odd thing together now that we're on our way. My Mum has been knitting for England since day one and the poor child would have knitted pants until the age of 45 if she carried on at this rate! But my family are so excited as this is such a much longed for and wanted miracle baby, there is no way it won't be much anticipated and spoilt rotten.

Anyway, there you go! I won't bore anyone any more, but roll on June 21st and the EDD!!

Loads of love and babydust to anyone who needs it,
Lisa (Giggly)
xx


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## leo (Mar 7, 2005)

Wow, that's fantastic Congratulations on finding a surrogate and her being pregnant for you,
So sorry you had to go through a lot to get there but worth it in the end.

All the best for June, how exciting.

Take Care Lynne xx


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## bluebell (Dec 9, 2004)

Yiiiiiiippppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
There couldn't be a kinder, funnier, loonier, cleverer, amazinger fantabidoodaher woman her on FF as our Giggles !!  It has made my year that you are buying buggies !!  What make did you buy ?
I CAN'T WAIT to meet your baby !
The poor mite is doomed to a life of fun, laughs, madness and amazing love !!!
Hope you're having a bloke so he can save homself to be my DD's tot boy. (that was a typo but like 'tot boy' !!).  If it's a girly then they will just have to be gay !
So chuffed !!
Got scan photos to show us ?
Blooooooooooooooooooooooobs xxxxxxxxxx


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## professor waffle (Apr 23, 2005)

So pleased for you after all you have been though hon, enjoy being a mum


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

How wonderful is that !!!

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, I can tell you time flys by so fast !!!

All the very best to you all
Jo
x x x


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## pobby (Jun 2, 2005)

Hi Giggly

yours was the very first post that i read on the serum thread! I am so pleased that there is a happy ending to your story and you are so brave and courageous...a real inspiration! 
all the very best of luck with everything and cant wait to hear about the new arrival!
much love
Pobby xxx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

A fantastic story, really hopw that everything goes well and your bundle of joy arrives safely
L x


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## Siobhan1 (Jun 24, 2004)

Congratulations!!


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## three_stars (Jan 19, 2006)

I love reading your story again even if I know most of already.  You are an amazing, determined, tenacious woman; an inspiration... and a lot of fun too!
That little one will be one lucky kid!  And you, a very loving and deserving mom.
We love you GG!!!  

your fellow Fan of FF, Abroadies and Penny (  thank you from our kids too!)
Love,
Bonnie


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## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Hi Gigglygirl

Thanks for sharing your story - you are such a strong and brave woman!!! An inspiration to the rest of us on here ... I wish you and your DH all of the best!!!  And thanks for being our buddy on our first SUK social!!!  

Tweets x


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## Mish3434 (Dec 14, 2004)

Congratulations that is fantastic news

xx


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## Grumpygirl (Oct 24, 2004)

Bless you everyone, it is great to have some support and especially from some of the golden oldies. LOL.    

Nothing much to report here this week, not on the baby front at least. DH and I have decided we need to have a break at Easter for a week or we are going to be thoroughly exhausted before baby arrives! So, we're looking at cottages with log burners we can take the woofer to. Should be good. We once had a holiday where all we did was lie in bed and watch Neighbours, then Bergerac, then get up for 2 hrs, then go back to bed! It was heavenly as we're usually so busy and we just needed to recharge. Bring on the Bergerac! Or is it going to be Escape to the Country?  

We had MIL down last weekend so had to hide all the baby stuff since she doesn't know or want to know the sex of baby Giggly. It is hard to do!! It is also hard to make conversation about anything else- I am sure I am going to be a complete mush brain and turn into one of those mothers who describes poo in the most minute detail. 

J is doing well, she seems upbeat and I think has been enjoying herself this week. We're going up for a MW appt next week so am looking forward to seeing them all then. Hooray!

And I am seeing my lovely FF Bloobs on Thursday, all being well, so am really looking forward to a proper catch up. 

Anyone have a 4D scan? We're not sure whether to have one or not, what do you all reckon?
xx


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## Amandajb (Sep 6, 2007)

I would certainly recommend a 4d scan.  

I too, was the same as you and in two minds, but my IM decided that she just couldn't wait for the big day so paid for one in London yesterday.

I can honestly say the woman was bowled over by the whole thing.  The detail was unbelievable and you could visibly see the bond developing between IPs and baby (I was just the innocent bystander on this occasion).

Yes, it cost them a couple of hundred £££, but for them, and I suspect you, it was worth it.  

From the surrogates point of view, it is always in the back of my mind that the IM may have an issue bonding at the birth, but this made those fears vanish completely in the blink of an eye.  Now I am more worried about the horrendous size this baby appears to be!

Definitely something to consider.  If you want to know more details about where we went, then please PM me.

Amanda


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## CarolynB (May 17, 2008)

Hi Lisa/GG

Wrote a long post to you yesterday and it got lost!  ARGGGHHH  

Just wanted to say that I saw you post on Jo’s amazing thread and saw your dates and just had to come and read your story in full.
WOW.  What an amazing journey that you & your dh have been through to get to this point.  It is clear that you are a brave and wonderful lady and have a super supportive dh at your side.     

I was very very scared up to the 21 week scan.  We have been through so much failure and my dear sister had some scares at the start and had to go on the awful gestone jabs every day.  But since we got through the half way point, saw the baby at 21 weeks, now she gets regular movement and now we know that we are having a son then I have relaxed a little more and started to allow myself to get totally over excited – FINALLY!!!!!

Have you bought lots of stuff  Do tell!!!!  What have you got and what have you still got to buy??  I feel like I bought everything but cannot stop myself now.

We do have a 3D/4D booked at 31 weeks.  I booked it privately after our last scan as was not sure that I could go from week 21 to the end without seeing our little baby boy plus I thought that it might help with bonding.  We are not sure whether we will go ahead or try to save the money.  We’d love to see him again but more £ saved means more time off for me when he arrives.  We’ll leave for now and decide nearer the time.  Saw Amanda’s comment above and can imagine it would be magical so that may sway me in favour of going ahead!!!!!  Spoke to my sister about it yesterday & she is relaxed either way.  Given the excitement from me and my dh then I don’t think she has any fears that we will not bond & know that we could not want our little boy to be in our home anymore if we tried!!!!!

The holiday sounds like a good plan.  We've not been away for over two years as all money went on tmt.  We are going to a family wedding the first week in April in New York and going to grab a few extra days together.  More shopping opportunities.  Your idea of chilling sounds great!!

Hope all goes well for you and Jane with the m/w this week.        

Please please stay in touch as our dates are so similar that it will be lovely to share the experience with someone else.
Loads of luck
Carolyn xx


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## nostalgicsam (Jul 1, 2005)

do have a 4d scan, we couldn't afford to but would have had one if we could, it will be something to treasure forever
xx


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## Grumpygirl (Oct 24, 2004)

Well, I am ashamed to have posted nothing in here for ages, so will just have to buck up my ideas!!! Especially after reading all about Baby Coombe ...

I promise a longer one at some point this week as I'm supposed to be on school hols. I reckon I have a 1/2 day's school work to do (not bad) and we're full throttle on the nesting front with DIY coming out of our ears! 

Our lovely surro Jane is doing really well and seems to be blooming, can't believe we're 29 weeks! US?!!! Wow. I was very nervous when we joined SUK and not entirely sure surrogacy was for us. Thank heavens for my DH convincing me to go as I have met some really lovely friends and a proper support group, not to mention our fab surrogate. We're so excited!

I don't think we're going to go for the 4d scan, it is a lovely thing to do and I'm sure it does help with bonding, but I don't feel the need for extra bonding. My Mum says I'd bond with an orang utan and she might be right! We definitely feel this is our baby anyway and fitting in the time is pretty hard! 

We kind of have a nursery going now, with moses basket, cot and a wardrobe part full already. The cot is missing some key screws which we need to order but other than that we're fine. We have the baby monitor, the buggy and my SIL sent an email with a list of stuff she no longer needs... basically everything we haven't bought yet! We're feeling so blessed right now.  

Carolyn- lovely to hear from you, would love to know more about you and your story. We will be due the same time!! So excited for you.

Better go, is late and have loads to do early in the am. Back later, promise!
xx


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## Tweetiepie (Aug 23, 2004)

Hi Giggly - Its all sounding very exciting    will be following your thread


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

gugglygirl- so pleased to hear that things are going well, how long after joining sk did you find Jane?

Wishing you all lots of luck
L x


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## Jo (Mar 22, 2002)

Hi Sounds like everything is going really well 

We thought about a 4d scan but as we had lots of normal scans didn't feel we needed one, and as for bonding you will bond instantly, we were not sure where the love came from when Charlie was born, but it was there in an instant, the floodgates opened and it flooded in 

Enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy, you have the best to come  

love Jo
x x x


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