# 1st time DEIVF = please help answer some questions i have



## Guest (Feb 6, 2012)

hi everyone!

Please can someone answer my questions? i am desperate and have no one i can talk to!  

Basically we have been matched with a donor     soooooooooooo happy about this BUT (isn't there always a but?!) our donor is 36 and my excitement has now turned to worry.

I know that 36 is the cut off age at our clinic, and i know from what Ive read on the internet that after 35 your egg quality deteriorates and you are at higher risk of downs syndrome and other birth defects, so of course i am worried that a) the cycle wont work and we will have wasted 6k and b) if it does work, will there be birth defects?

my questions are:

1) i am 28 and my donor is 36.......will i be high risk because the egg's age is 36 or will i be OK because my body is 28? hope I'm making sense!!
2) what tests will the donor have had? will she be screened for Downs and other birth defects??
3) if i do fall pregnant with this first cycle (hoping to God that i do) - will i have to tell the hospital/my GP that my donor was 36 and thefore be classified as an older high risk pregnancy? i was hoping not to have to tell them that i used DE IVF but i am wondering if this will force me to??
4) My clinic told me that even though the donor is 36 she doesnt have problems...........why would she need IVF herself then? Unless its her partner who has the problems?  She also mentioned that the donor has proven fertility - does this mean that she has children??

I am constantly worried about all of this now when i should be ecstatic that we have been matched at long last after all the waiting, and i am hoping that you lovely ladies will be able to put my mind at ease a bit?

please, ANY info you have will be greatly appreciated as i am desperate!! 

xxxxx


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

Hi there,

Please don't worry too much!

Firstly you do not have to accept the donor you have been offered, but if you have accepted in the last few days you would need to contact the clinic ASAP if you change your mind. You would stay at the top of the list and probably wouldn't have long to wait for another match with which you are happier.

Personally I wouldn't be too worried about the donor's age as you have been told she has 'proven fertility' - this does mean that either she, or a precvious recipient, have had a pregnancy resulting in a live birth. Though egg quality does start to deteriorate in your mid 30's it is gradual - it only nosedives generally after age 40.

In terms of the pregnancy itself it will be your age and health which matters, not the donor. Don't forget that many women have happy, healthy pregnancies well into their 40's - I gave birth at 43 thanks to our donor and had a pretty good pregnancy with just some minor issues with a hernia and pulled muscles.

Your donor will have been screened for cystic fibrosis (therefore not a carrier) and will have had her chromosomes tested (karotype testing) to ensure she has no identifiable issues. There is no test for Downs as it results from a defect after fertilisation, not an identifiable issue with either parent. Most hospitals do a nuchal fold scan as part of the 12 week check which will show what the likelihood is of the child suffering from Downs.

You do not have to tell your doctor or the hospital about using DE - you will not have a higher risk pregnancy because of the donor's age. If you really don't want to tell anyone (bearing in mind that this will be in your health records and not your childs) then you could opt to go for a private nuchal fold scan where you could disclose the donor's age. Age is a factor in them determining the likelihood of Downs, which is why I did tell them at my scan as the risk was then assessed based on my donor who was a decade younger than me.

There could be many reasons why your donor requires IVF - problems with her partner, single and undergoing treatment using donor sperm, blocked tubes.  That she has 'proven fertility' is a huge bonus as you could opt for a younger donor but not have this comfort. Unless they have expressly told you that you are egg-sharing then it also possible that you have an altruistic donor. Ours was and must have donated at least twice as Hannah has 5 genetic half-siblings born in the same year as her, plus the donor's own children.

If you have any questions speak to your donor coordinator - that is what they are there for! Obviously they cannot tell you anything further about your donor at this stage, but they should be able to put your mind at rest.

I hope it works out well for you - DE has truly changed our lives and I thank our donor every day for the amazing gift she has given to us.

Caroline


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