# sorry not around, I have had sad news from a friend



## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

I am sorry that I cannot respond to the posts i have read tonight, I have read them and do feel for all my FF here.
However i am too sad and preoccupied to reply as a very good friend has just lost her son to suicide. I have known her for about 30 years, before R was born. We always got on well and over the years she has been my next door neighbour, my up the road neighbour and a work colleague, so we have spent a lot of time together. She was so understanding during my IF years and  in the aftermath when DH and I split and then got back together. I am trying to be there for her and also very sad when i remember babysitting for R and his sister. I can't help but cry when I remember tucking him up in bed. In my mind I  keep seeing a photo that was on the wall at their home of R and his sister jumping in the surf, so happy together. I
keep remembering him as a teenager who was so charming to me even when he was a pain in the.A to his parents! I cannot believe he is gone and that h became so disurbed as to take his own life. I have not seenhim since Christmas - he left home some time ago, now we will not see him again.

It  is tough to see my dear friend in this most awful grief. So forgive me friends if I am a bit quiet here.

Love jq xxx


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## Yamoona (Nov 7, 2005)

JQ so sorry to hear your news. Our thoughts are with you xx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Oh I am so sorry jq - what a tragedy. Your friend needs you very much right now - I can't imagine how awful it must be. I think a suicide is a particularly difficult kind of grief - cos she will probably be torturing herself with thoughts that she could have prevented it. My best advice for her would be to see a counsellor maybe someone from CRUSE. Also I would recommend a book called 'A Grief Observed' by CS Lewis (maybe not right now, but when she's ready).
And, of course, if you need support as you support your friend, remember we are here. 
Bernie xx


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

So sorry to hear this Jq. We have a friend whose son died from suicide too. The important thing is just to be there for your friend. My own brother died in his early 20s (not suicide but sadly murdered) and I know i really appreciated the people who took time to ask how I was,especially after all the arrangements and funeral is long gone. sometimes it's hard for people to ask but From our family's point of view we preferred that people asked how we were rather than ignore it.

Take care of you and your friend xxxx


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## VT (Aug 5, 2005)

Jq

I am so sorry to read of your news. What an absolute tragedy. I had a friend a number of years ago who took his own life and understand how very hard it is. There are always so many questions. It is so good that you have such hapy memories of him and I hope they give you some comfort at this difficult time. 

Take care and be gentle with yourself.

Much love.

VT
xxx


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## Lizz (Mar 10, 2005)

Jq

Just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear your news. To lose someone is never easy not matter what the circumstances but I think to lose someone to suicide must be particular hard on those left behind . 

Take care
Liz x


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Dearest jq

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of H and the impact his sudden passing has had on those who loved him... what a tragedy for all concerned hon   any loss is heartbreaking but suicide even more so, as we all go over and over what we could have done or said differently when the truth is, there was probably nothing anyone could say or do that would change the outcome  

My deepest sympathy to you, your friend and her family at this moment in time.
Go gently, our thoughts are with you all

With much love
Emcee xxx


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## brown (Oct 19, 2007)

jq said:


> I am so sorry for what you are going through , my thoughts are with you
> Love from Suxx
> I am sorry that I cannot respond to the posts i have read tonight, I have read them and do feel for all my FF here.
> However i am too sad and preoccupied to reply as a very good friend has just lost her son to suicide. I have known her for about 30 years, before R was born. We always got on well and over the years she has been my next door neighbour, my up the road neighbour and a work colleague, so we have spent a lot of time together. She was so understanding during my IF years and in the aftermath when DH and I split and then got back together. I am trying to be there for her and also very sad when i remember babysitting for R and his sister. I can't help but cry when I remember tucking him up in bed. In my mind I keep seeing a photo that was on the wall at their home of R and his sister jumping in the surf, so happy together. I
> ...


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## kizzymax (Feb 13, 2008)

So sorry jq, your always helping all of us on here, no wonder you cannot reply to anyone.

Life can be so very tough for some people. Its such a terrible thing for his poor family to go through. I'm sure having you as a friend will help his poor mum through the coming months ahead, you are a real gem,  and your always replying to those of us with our worries, now i hope we can comfort you back   

Thinking of you jq
with love and hugs
Karen
xxxxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Thank you all for your kind replies. It means so much to me that while I am trying to be strong for R's mum and other close family, you are feeling for me in my loss of a dear young man 

R's mum, my darling friend, L, is so wonderful: everytime we speak she asks how I am and really wants to know. Please continue to send her your loving wishes, she needs and deserves them. I know she won't read your messages here but I believe that positive thoughts will reach the people who need them.

LoL
Jq xxxx


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