# new and saying Hi *



## krispy (Jan 3, 2008)

Hi 
I feel lost and confused by everything at the moment. I am 37 (march) and partner 49 (march too) and have severe endometriosis more than 10 years and have just had failed IVF attempt 2 weeks before Xmas. I had 3 eggs retrieved but of poor quality and only 1 fertilised and then did not divide. Consultant said eggs of poor quality nothing you can do go away and loose weight and call in 3 months or so when BMI down. He also said that chances of IVF working again are less than 10%, that ICSI would not be an option and that we should consider egg donor. Feel so deflated by people's throwaway attitude. my own GP usually so supportive and huggable said that my endo is the worst he has seen in 27 years of being a gp , some claim to fame eh? He also said that I should prepare myself for the worst case scenario ie that I will never have my own child and get on with my life. He agreed with the consultant saying that it was the only thing he could offer as something for me to do. And he recomended my BMI come down to 24 from 29. I asked him in real terms what that meant and he said that I should be 9 stone. So for me I have to loose 2 stone. I haven't been 9 stone since I was 17 or 18. They say it like I have never thought about my weight or anything. I tell you I feel like getting a boob reduction ( I have 34G boobies) and then going back and saying there you are I have lost 2 stone.
I am sorry for the rant but I feel like my world is crumbling abit and there is starting to be friction between my partner and I.
I have also tried accupuncture, reiki, reflexology, massage, chinese herbs and dianne mills nutritional advice and even have started to eat red meat organic beef again in attempt to do the right thing.
Thanks for listening.


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## eggsharer (Oct 22, 2007)

Sorry you have had a hard time, i am afraid i don't know much about endo so can't really help you  but just wanted to give you a   - also you made me laugh about the boob reduction (blimey those puppies are big! i had the opposite a boob job as mine were too small)   . Before treatment (nothing to do with it tho) i hired a personal trainer - only because i thought well i either want to be pregnant by christmas or have a six pack (well that was a bit of a dream) anyway i had the trainer once a week and then went ot gym once a week on my own and i can honestly say i actually grew to enjoy it and it really made me more confident in the gym and a trainer really pushes you so you loose more/tone better than you would on your own.  Also those endorphins or whatever they are make you feel a bit more positive/better about yourself and life.

Anyway i stopped the gym just before i started stimming and i am now pregnant so guess it will be a while til i can get back to the 6 pack mission   although obviously happy about that.  So what i am saying is it can be a good way to loose weight to get a trainer and really give you a boost too - i know what you mean about their negative attitude i mean i am only 9 stone but i am petite so i have rounded out a lot over the last few years and the first consultant i saw said 'don't get any bigger' which made me feel fat - so at just over 9 stone and you at 11 stone its not exactly big these consultants are just a bit insensitive sometimes (probably coz they are always men  ) so chin up and don't give up is what i am saying.  I think there is an actual board on here for women with endo so you might find some more help there.  I did read about one lady who was going in hospital to have her endo removed and found she had a natural BFP so they couldn't do it - she tested 4 times herself after coming home as she couldn't beleive it so it does happen.


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## KATRYAN (Sep 14, 2007)

Hi krispy and welcome

I'm new on here too but am still waiting to complete my investigations to find out exactly what our options are but wanted to say hi.

Sorry to here about your IVF attempt, i'm sure that must be more frustrating than TTC naturally and hope when you have another go it works out for you both.

As for the weight "issue", I think sometimes what we should weigh in the eyes of docs is often unreasonable, my husband should be around 13 and a half stone according to docs but if he was to go below 15 he'd look gangly as his frame is big.
I understand why they ask for some people to loose weight if there are other factors to consider such as strain on the heart etc but if you are healthy generally then 2 stone is actually quite alot especially if you don't feel overwieght yourself.

Everyone on here has some idea of what everyone else is going through in some way or another so as eggsharer says, chin up, there's plenty of support here.

Kat


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hi krispy, welcome to Fertility Freinds. 

Sorry sorry you soudn very down at the moment.  Hardly surprising given the diagnosis you have been given. Don't know who your cons is or what clinic you are at but have you considered a second opinion? Maybe at a clinic where they might be more enthusiatic about treating poor repsonders? 
Endo is a horrible thing, but I know several ladies on FF who have conceived with very severe endo (Heffalump for one) and IVF, and plenty who have got pregnant with just one embryo from a couple of eggs at EC. Don't give up hope and give up people who have given up hope on you!

I am going to leave you some links to some areas of theboards where I think you will get the best information and support.

*Meanings ~ *CLICK HERE

*What can improve egg quality and quantity ~ * 
CLICK HERE

*Endo ~ *CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk - Community board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck on your journey. 

C~x


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

hello and welcome

feel free to rant on thats what this site is for support... i just wanted to wish you luck for the future and maybe change your doc if there making you more unhappy. everyone deserves the chance to have a baby.

good luck keepinghope xx


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## krispy (Jan 3, 2008)

Thankyou to everyone who replied to my rant over the weekend.
My endo is under control at the moment as I have had loads of ops over the years and had many many laps and divisions etc. I was under royal surrey hosp for all that and had my IVF at Oxford.  I do go swimming twice a week for 1/2 hour and walk round the lakes near where I live...... which is alot more than I could have done when endo was at its worst.
I guess I will just have to rack it up a gear and get out there. I think for me and probably alot of you , when you think that you are not in control of a situation that is when things get on top of you. 
So I will try and take control and sort myself out.
Lots of love and positive vibes to evryone.
Lets take charge!!!


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## canoworms (Sep 6, 2007)

Hi there, 

Welcome to FF - as has been said you'll get lots of support.

As Caz said, perhaps getting a second opinion might be an idea, there are a few stories on hear of ladies who moved clinic and got a completely different experience.

   for the future, I hope you get your dream.

xx


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## krispy (Jan 3, 2008)

thanks for that. Any ideas on where to go for 2nd opinion I live just outside Milton Keynes


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## eggsharer (Oct 22, 2007)

here is a link to the HFEA website on their find a clinic page

http://guide.hfea.gov.uk/guide/

x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

krispy said:


> thanks for that. Any ideas on where to go for 2nd opinion I live just outside Milton Keynes


Perhaps have a look and the HFEA website list of clinics (you can search by location) and then pick some within reasonable travelling distance. Then come back on FF and do a search for posts about any clinics you are interested in (look at clinic reviews section too) or post on the locations boards about them there. Often, peer advice is the best when it comes to chosing a clinic. The HFEA is grat from a statisical point of view but can't really tell you what they are _like_ and how flexible their approach is. 
It might also be worth you looking further afield at clinics too. Just because they are not in your immediate area, doens't mean to say they are not accessible to you, if you are prepared to travel a little.

Good luck!

C~x


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Tomorrow is Newbie Night in the Chat room at 8pm
- do pop in and say  To Caz & I
The chat room has various themed sessions each week, 
Details of these can be found on the main index page 
The chat room is open 24/7 with lots of support, fun & friendship to be found.
We already Offer one2one Chats by prior arrangement CLICK HERE


For help in getting into the chatroom  CLICK HERE


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support and i wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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