# Intros when living 150 miles away



## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hiya,
We go to panel next week for no.3. But one thing bothering me a bit is how vague the SWs are about planning the intro period. The foster family live 150 miles away from us, and with 2 other children we need to know in advance what the plan is. Their response is that they are not allowed to plan intros before the panel decision has been ratified. We've booked the planning meeting for the week after panel, and start intros straight after meeting, but don't know anymore. Not even if part of process will be spent where we live so DDs first visit to our house isnt when she moves in. 

Anyone any experience of any of this? 
Ruthie


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

i know some people have done intros recently with a long distance..i think Old Timer but she may not be around as she's had a bereavement in the family..
as far as i am aware with long distance intros SS pay for a place to stay nr the FCs initially and in some cases then also pay for the FC's to stay down near the adopters.
but really not sure..hope someone will be along soon who's actually done it ;o)

kj x


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi
KJs right, we had 200 miles between us and our DD.
We had a planning meeting a month before panel, after panel is too late to get organised and prepare your existing children IMO......
As it was, we were given the choice of taking DS with us for the whole of intros and taking my Mum to look after him while we were spending the first half of intros with DD, SS were willing to pay for a bigger cottage to accommodate this.  However, we knew DS wouldn't be happy with us leaving him while we went off to see his sister so we decided it would be better for DS to stay with my Mum and Dad, continue going to school and my DH would collect him, bringing toys etc home, ready for him to meet his sister.  I phoned him twice a day, emailed photos through and it worked well.
Our DD was 14 months old when we brought her home and that was the first time she came to our house.  Due to her age and the distance it was deemed too much for her to come for a visit before and her FC had other children so wasn't prepared to stay locally to us.
If they are not prepared to tell you before panel, tell them you need to know after the panel meeting so you can make arrangements and prepare your existing children.  Do you have a SW that can push this for you?  Its going to be hard work as it is making sure all goes well and the other children are affected as little as possible without you having the stress of not knowing what the plans are.  Also, some LAs tend to book hotels which is probably OK when its just adults, though not great to take a child back to, but with other children involved you need a cottage/house.  We took lego and some other toys for our DS to play with and came back with the car overflowing, having left some of DD's things behind.
Good luck
OT x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Thanks OT, the phrase "couldn't organised a p-up in a brewery" keeps cropping up in regards to all this. I also get the impression we will be footing the bill for the hotel/ holiday home rental. 

Its good to know what they are suggesting is not the norm though so feel i can push a bit more. 

Xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

We had to travel 180 miles for DD's intros.  Her SS provided us with a holiday cottage rental for the week and we took my parents with us to look after DS.  We treated it like a holiday for DS and my parents took him out on trips during the first part of the week.  The second part of the week he came with us to the FC's house to meet his new sister.

I agree with OT you need to get your SW to push for you so that you know what will be happening.  Introductions can be stressful at the best of times let alone when you have other children to consider.  You need to know where you stand so that you can make suitable plans.

Good luck.


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hey, could you two PM me what LA paid for your accommodation ??

Ta xx


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Ruthie, we are 100 miles away and were told no they weren't going to pay for accom, we could commute. Our SW dug her heels in big time and managed to get them to agree to some nights funding, they are putting us up in the cheapest (ie I suspect grottiest) hotel they could find nearby, but it did take a lot of hard work on our SW's part... Stick with it, hopefully they will agree...


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

We were a good 4 hour drive from our son's placing LA, we traveled up there for MP and then had our planning meeting on the same afternoon so we did not have to travel back for yet another meeting.


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

They've agreed to pay, although the length has been shortened now....I suppose it would be cynical of me to think the two are connected!? Just got double panel on Wednesday to get through now!!


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Good!!!
Good luck on Wednesday though am sure you'll be fine   
OT x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

We were approved!! Was v emotional, but thankfully unanimous!!

After 8 hrs driving I am having a mid week G&T!

Thanks for all the support ladies xxxx


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

HUGE Congrats Ruthiebabe!!


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Fantastic!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS      
Good luck with intros and beyond.
OT x


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Brilliant news Ruth     

Enjoy your intros x


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Congrats!! ENJOY, it's amazing!!!


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