# Do NHS fertility clinics consider the emotional impact of infertility?



## butsy (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi,

DH and I are now in the middle of our 3rd cycle of ICSI with an IVF centre (NHS funded) who have been absolutely fantastic and so supportive.  However, before we got to this point, we spent 2 years attending appointments at an assisted fertility clinic in the NHS.  Although I believe they did everything they should do medically speaking (and no more), in accordance with NICE guidelines, I felt the human aspect of our experience was completely ignored.  In fact, at times it felt as though systems were set up almost intentionally to make the experience as traumatic as possible.  For example, being herded from one waiting room to the next in a large group, which could consist of people trying to conceive, pregnant women and those with other gynae problems.  I once had to sit and wait in another area for an injection alongside women who were having miscarriages or abortions.  For me personally, this triggered a lot of frustration and anger, alongside all the guilt and worry I was experiencing anyway at not being able to conceive naturally.  I think I just felt even more persecuted by the service.

There were many such examples along the way, and no available outlet for talking about our emotions.  Plenty of groups advertised to support new mothers, but absolutely nothing for people experiencing infertility.  I was not offered counselling until I was referred to the IVF clinic, when, as I say above, everything changed for the better.  

In my other life, when I'm not ttc, I am a clinical psychologist.  Consequently I feel quite passionate about this, and can see how the experience of NHS patients could be changed significantly for the better, without deploying huge amounts of resources.  Just providing somewhere for people to share their thoughts, emotions and experiences in a group, with a skilled facilitator could make all the difference.

I want to hear about your experiences of NHS treatment, before referrals to IVF clinics are made (i.e. initial investigations, scans, clomid etc.).  Did you feel the same as me?  I look forward to reading your views.

many thanks

B x


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

I certainly agree with you. I have had to wait in waiting rooms with pregnant ultrasound patients.

When asking for counselling for my husband's devastating infertility news and some direction on where to turn next, we were referred on the NHS, or so we thought. We went to 3 sessions, the 3rd of which which she realised where we lived and that we were not entitled to NHS IVF due to my DH's son and she turned her back on us unless we paid £80 an hour. It seems that the back was turned on us every where we went and no one was going to offer us any support. So traumatic.

Even the counselling I was offered on the NHS after my devastating miscarriage was traumatic - with the first appointment for an assessment, 3 weeks after the event, at a childrens centre. I was forced to fill out a visitors form asking for mother's name, child's name and child's dietary requirements! I could barely do it for sobbing but they made me do it!
Then once assessed the sessions were in the maternity unit of the local hospital, the last time I was there was when I found out the baby was dead!

I have been on the Mind Body Course at the Bridge Centre and it was worth every penny. I have ended up with some fantastic friends and we continue to meet regularly. The coping tools and skills learnt on that course should be offered to all infertility patients as a matter of course - there is evidence to say that it improves success by 20%. 7-9/10 patients on the course get pregnant within a year. Surely that would be a good option for NHS clinics hoping to save money and get people pregnant naturally or on their first cycle? It is based on the work of the American doctor Dr Alice Domar and she has very good evidence of effectiveness.

My clinic (LWC) have just started offering fertility coaching and monthly support groups.
I think it should become common place.

If I had not had the support of this website in the last few years I would have gone completely mad.


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## MrsMaguire (May 25, 2009)

Hiya,

I think with funding restrictions its hard to cover every single thing they need to do, I think in a way they rely heavily not only for fertility but for other conditions in the patient being proactive and seeking help for themselves or possible an outlet they can go to if they need to talk about the emotional impact of it all. 

Saying that though, basic training given to health professionals would help, speaking to drs and gyaes and even people in places such as EPAU's there appears to be some sort of ignorance surrounding the issues we have to deal with, you get lots of cliches fired at you that just don't help. 

I think it is something that FF are trying to do, or something I've seen at one point, having local groups where you can talk. I know Endo UK have a similar thing where volunteers run groups then liaise with health professionals who come and give key note speeches and that kind of thing. 

I get a feeling knowing the Tory's views of anything IF related the funding will decrease even further so it will be up to individuals to seek this kind of thing out for themselves. 

I've got to say that FF has been amazing for me throughout the last 4 years, from ttc my first son, the support I received throughout my pregnancy and beyond has been second to none. I would have gone stir crazy if it wasn't for the support of people on here. 

xx


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## SuzanneM (Sep 16, 2009)

*When we were going through finding out what to do, I could not believe how insensitive those were in this profession!*

*First, my husband was dispassionately told that his manly bits were too small in a loud voice! That he could never hope to father a child, but said that they would do a biopsy to see if there was at least one sperm. So, he had that it was excruitatingly painful for him and again the doctor started prodding him and shouting out how small he was!! This has, not surprisingly put him off even talking about the problem and is so embarrassed at how small he is! They did not find any sperm.*

*What about when they have to give a sample? So horribly cold and uncaring!*

*My other anger is that even here in France, they do not care about putting us with pregnant women! There is nowhere one cannot get away from these things!*

*Infertility is terrible, but to have to put up with this extra baggage is like being hit again and again!*

*I honestly think that we should be asked whether we wish to be put with pregnant women or into another room.*

*I have come to realise that many who are suffering this, do not feel the need to be seperated, but I do suffer terrible jealousy anyway, so for me, I would feel better being in another room.*


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