# Adoption Buddies - MP & Intros Summer 2013



## MummyAuntieKatie

I love the thread for those hoping to complete the process around 2014 but also noticed there are a few of us gong to MP and Intros this summer... Wondered if perhaps you would like a thread dedicated to you (us)...  

Well, we are ridiculously excited about going to MP on June 6th 2013 with a view to having the planning meeting 27 June and meeting LO that afternoon...    We already have the car seat fitted (hey, we will have a child between the ages of 9 months and 11 years eventually, so it won't be wasted whatever happens) and I've chosen the buggy... The bedroom is being decorated and furniture chosen on lovely research trips to the fantastically child friendly wonderland of Ikea...  

LilyElf and nicola jane are almost exactly at the same stage, who else is almost there?


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## crazyspaniel

Ooooh me me!!!  
MP also 6th June hopefully...
No date for intros yet but guessing 2 weeks later?!

What a great idea Auntie Katie am quietly going mad here with no official confirmation of panel...
Bedroom decorated, photos for tomy album work in progress  

Cs x


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Sounds like June is going to be an exciting month!! lol!


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## Wyxie

Us too, for number 2.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

How exciting, this summer had better pitch up with some good weather so we can all go out and wear our our new LO's!! Keeping everything crossed that this all goes smoothly for us all.


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## Lizard39

No where near this stage, but think I might be your No 1 stalker on this thread as love reading about this stage - makes   and give me hope for next year


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Hey L, don't just stalk, join in, always the more the merrier! x


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## Wyxie

I'm _really_ hoping the weather is better than last summer.

Wyxling was just too explosive not to take out every day for a _very_ long walk/run around for the first few months, regardless of weather. We had two glorious weeks of weather for the intros thankfully, but then it pretty much rained for four months solid. About a month into my adoption leave I gave in and bought myself a full set of waterproofs. Luckily, puddles were hit, or I don't know what we'd have done.

(Puddlesuits and wellies, by the way, are an absolute must for toddlers, don't forget to get yourself a pair  ).


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## Jules11

I'm so nervous about tempting fate but fingers crossed   we are almost with you.  We have a link with a fab LO and we are meeting her FC and Med Adv on 12th June.  SW is hoping for MP sometime in July.  

Have to admit to a lovely amazon wish list with lots of amazing things we thought we'd never get to buy again.  Can't stop looking at LO photo.  Could she really be ours.    

Does anybody else have trouble concentrating.  Have to admit In work today my team were asked to take on a project starting in August, my first thought was " I won't be here by then"    Probably won't get me a performance bonus but I got such a buzz thinking about lots of lovely time off work with amazing LO.

Good luck to everybody a bit further on and I'd love to hear all about MP and Intros.  Will be great to help us to prepare.

Jules.


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## crazyspaniel

Jules, so glad you're joining us  
xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I kinda like the idea of mopping everyone up in one place, helps me keep a track on who's doing what and when... I might not be pregnant but Jules I think you are right, I've got baby brain!


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## MummyElf

Yay!!! A thread for us!!! We're going to mp on 12 June and hopefully intros shortly thereafter once ratification has happened,

I have complete baby brain. I even didn't see the lights change to green on the way home because I was daydreaming about our little pixie....luckily nobody beeped and made me jump out of my skin  

It is ALL I think and dream abound most days I'm shattered because I slept badly the night before.    I love pausing in the baby aisle in the supermarket and finally feeling that I am allowed to be there. And I've bought so much stuff off amazon they're practically going to invite me to their Christmas party this year   We've got basically everything now for pixie....some bought, some given. It's the only part of the process I can actually control so I'm powering on with it and not doing 'what ifs' as I've had enough of them over the last few years  

Looking forward to reading how everyone else is doing....


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## MummyAuntieKatie

LilyElf said:


> It's the only part of the process I can actually control so I'm powering on with it and not doing 'what ifs' as I've had enough of them over the last few years


I know this feeling! Everywhere I go now I feel I am allowed to do the kiddie isles! I love shopping anyway, this is just like shopping on speed! lol OMG, there is still that what if... that 'what if' panel or DM find a reason to say no to Bluebird coming home... But I can't let that stop me, I'm on a roll!


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## baby0684

Hi everyone. Im so glad that I have some people who are around the same postition as me. Well a little further. I have meeting with FC tomorrow, and hopefully will be at MP mid/late aug.

I love playing around with the pushchairs in the shops. Its so much fun. I do think the shop assistants think, OMG she a bit weird. But haye ho, thats me!

Iv got a wish list on Kiddiecare. But I have bought quite a few things already.


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## nicola jane

i am exactly the same..cant think of anything else..standing in work completely oblivious to customers cos i,m in my own little world..it cant come soon enough..but we,ve all worked hard for it so why shouldnt we be able to totally enjoy every single minute lol    xx


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## Wyxie

It's a year today since we met our Wyxling, and that got me thinking.

When we met Wyxling, she was about 18 1/2 months old.  A friend of ours who'd adopted a little girl around that age previously suggested taking a helium balloon and it was a massive hit.  Brilliant for getting a little one that age to come to us, especially given she was quite wary of my husband and men in general, and great for playing peekaboo round.  Lots of eye contact and nice games.

I'm not sure what to take for a 10 month old, I'm inclined to do the same again, but I think I'll speak to the f/c and see if she has a better suggestion.  She's moved a lot of babies on and maybe he's a bit little for that one.

How old are everyone's children going to be?

We were expecting a little baby second time round, as we've known about him for so long, but Social Services happened, and he's quite a few months older than he should have been.  I'm trying to make the most of my one to one time with Wyxling to make up for it, and hoping it doesn't make things too much harder.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, much to our surprise Bluebird will be 2 years 3 months when he comes home (if all goes to plan and SS don't delay anything)...    It kind of works for us as we have another 2 and a half year old in the family and a friend who'd LO is almost 3.. But it was younger than I'd expected, I was figuring on 3-4... Exciting though   

Congratulations on your first Gotcha Day xx


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## Wyxie

Lovely that you get to have your time at home before he's due to start nursery/school.


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## ariellamcbella

HI!!! I think I am gonna fight Lizard for the number1 stalkers on this feel if no one minds?? Xx


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## ariellamcbella

Congrats you all btw! X


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Can I join  

Matching panel yesterday we got a unanimous yes!! 

We meet our little man in 12 sleeps time we're sooooooooo excited dont know how ill sleep till we meet him haha. 

We're all set think we have everything now (I hope) 

I finish work on Friday omg!!!! 

Look forward to catching up with everyone very soon xxxxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Course ya can!  Very exciting!  You can lead us off and start telling us what we have to look forward to this summer!


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## katie c

Well i _should_ be on this thread...but sadly may be coming on to it with a huge downer 

We were supposed to be at MP yesterday. On Wednesday we got a call saying due to some issues the foster carer had brought up with the SW on Monday, there is some concern for our little boy, without going into too many issues, there are some medical elements that initially they thought wasn't a massive deal but have to be investigated further.

So now we wait. Again.

Although we haven't been told much by our SW yet, as to be fair, there's not a lot they can say until the medical is done, i think its going to be;

Best case scenario - all is well, but we miss out on goodness knows how much longer of his life while we wait.

Medium case scenario - we have a tough decision to make.

Worst case scenario - it may be the decision is taken out of our hands and we are not going to be the right parents for this little boy.

Just feel sick.

I don't know if this is worthy of its own thread tbh, see if anyone else has experienced something like this? but its difficult without giving too much away.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Oh Katie, that is so awful..  We'll all be keeping our fingers crossed for a positive outcome!    There have been a few stories of people who were so close but have faced setbacks so hopefully others will come on and share xx


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## crazyspaniel

Katie c,
 that you don't have to wait too long to find out what's happening with LO. 
Don't have any experience to share but can imagine how you must feel   xx


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## MummyElf

KatieC I'm really sorry to hear about the delay. Our little pixie is fit and healthy but due to other concerns within her birth family (can't go into detail) we have had a long meeting with her GP and have been told that when we get to MP they will raise it again. It does make things less straight forward but we're pushing on. 

I really hope that whatever they think might be going on with your LO isn't and that things are not held up for long for you. It's really tough isn't it because if we had birth children we wouldn't get the choice over conditions / health etc but when you adopt it suddenly becomes this big issue and puts adopters in a horrible position where we know we must be honest about what we can cope with, yet at the same time feel guilty that we can't take on what some people can.

Sending up     that it is quickly resolved for you. 

LilyElf x


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## Wyxie

Oh no, KatieC, what a terrible position to be in.  That is just awful.

I hope they get the medical information to you soon so you can make your decision and start to move on, whatever the outcome.

I don't honestly think we can compare it to making choices over biological children.  If we had biological children we would make choices ourselves, not to drink, smoke, take drugs, put our children in harms way.  There is much more risk with an adopted child of serious complications and so we have to consider not just what we could cope with, but what we want from our families and what we want to have to cope with.  Of course when the information comes along later on it does make it a lot harder to make a decision.  Once you've got an emotional tie to the child it's harder to make the decision you would have made on the face of it.

Thinking about you and hoping for the best.


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## Wyxie

We got a laminated photo of Bladelet through today, for Wyxling. She has wanted ours but we only have one. She was really chuffed. She's still hesitant in a lot of ways, and seems to understand she's going to have to share me, but she's been wandering round all day kissing and cuddling the laminate and generally being _incredibly_ sweet.

How many photos are people getting through of the children before mp? Are you having direct contact with the foster carers? We have one, and it's less than 2 weeks to panel. We are not having direct contact with the f/c and I'm just getting a touch of cold feet over the f/c in what I hope is a completely paranoid way. I'm tempted to speak to our SW tomorrow and ask her what's normal. We had such a bad experience with Wyxling's f/c I'm just really worried about this.


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

I'm so sorry Katiec hope you get good news very soon. 

Hugs xxxxxxx

Wyxie, we have been in direct contact with FC since we 1st met her and she is amazing she sends us pictures weekly sometimes daily it's so nice to get them I get excited everytime her name pops up as I text. 

Hope everyone is ok? 

Hugs xxxxxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Hi W, 

I didn't expect to get much before MP, we have one pic that I took on my phone of a picture SW showed us but didn't give us and another that was recently sent through the post (a big A4 one that they had done professionally which I put in a frame but then put in a drawer!!). I am assuming that we won't get to meet or speak to the FC until after Panel, but I'm really hoping that after we can meet up, ask LOADS of questions and then she might share some more pics... 

Next week we are meeting Bluebird's new SW and our SW will (if she remembers) be bringing a DVD of a film they took of him, not sure if she'll offer up anything else?


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## baby0684

Well my visit didnt happen. Bees SW was in court. Now re arranged for 10 June. Hope its a better day


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## Wyxie

AuntieKatie said:


> I am assuming that we won't get to meet or speak to the FC until after Panel


That would be unusual with any of our local LAs. My understanding was that it's standard practice to meet the f/c before panel, as part of the decision as to whether it's the right child for you. Maybe it's different with your LA?


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## Jules11

Katie C, I'm so sorry, its just horrible.   

You may remember we had a link fall through in March.  We hadn't got quite as far as a date for MP but we'd had several meetings, seen photos and felt such a strong pull to LO.  To say we were devastated is an understatement,  it really felt very close to a bereavement.  I had a phone call from SW at work to explain that because of a risk posed by a relative of LO they had decided it was no longer a good link.  I cried for days and honestly felt like I couldn't continue in planet adoption. 

Several weeks later we heard about the LO we are currently linked with.  I won't pretend I felt the same pull as I had with the previous link.  I felt I really had to keep my guard up and protect myself from becoming too emotionally attached because there are so many decisions out of our control.  I am really glad we continued and I am so excited about LO,  maybe we had to wait for this LO because she is meant to be ours.  I still worry everyday that it could all fall through but I'm really hoping lightening won't strike twice.   

I think it must be really hard waiting for more information before you can make a decision.  For us, the decision was taken out of our hands,  now i'm sort of glad that we didn't have to make that call.  It must be so so hard.  I'm sending you   but I suspect a large glass of grape juice may offer more comfort this evening.

Keep going  

Jules xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

I may have misunderstood, I guess it kind of makes sense to have met up, will have to chat to SW's next Thursday and see what the plan is?


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## MummyElf

We got a couple of pics in pixie's info and when we met the FC this week we asked if she had any more. She hesitated but our SW said it was fine as we had already seen a pic. We're now going to keep in touch with her and she is sending some pics through hopefully soon.


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## crazyspaniel

Hi everyone,
I like to be organised and not knowing when/ how long intros will be is stressing me slightly! Has anyone had any info about this before going to panel?  
Also should I be expecting a formal 'invitation' to MP, actually can't remember if we had a letter about AP, sooo long ago


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## Wyxie

You may get a rough idea of how long intros are likely to be, but it will be rough, and the planning meeting is held after matching panel, often the day before, or even the day of your meeting your lo.  What's that?  You need to try and organise you're limited adoption leave to cover that valuable time off work for the partner going back again, so having that meeting sooner would be helpful?  Social Services don't care and if you do raise it they'll probably come back with the standard line about how if you can't drop everything at no notice then adopting may not be for you, conveniently ignoring the difference between emergencies that can't be planned for, and those that can.  Same to be said of meetings they drop on you at the last minute, fail to turn up for, rearrange without telling you so you're left waiting around for hours, they're very busy people, far too busy for common courtesy, and you, despite being expected to maintain a very comfortable financial situation to prove you can adopt, are not allowed to have a busy demanding job that can't stop for anything, including someone else's lack of manners.  Sorry, I may be a bit cynical about it after the last two years.  

You should get a letter inviting you to panel, but they won't do that until they have the final timetable so normally a week or so before hand.

Wyxie xx


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## crazyspaniel

Thanks Wixie, pretty much as I expected then....
Sw on hols now until 2 days before panel so guess I'll just have to stop being so demanding..!
. Xx


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## MummyElf

Our MP is mid-June and we were told this week when we met the FC that contact would be for 2 weeks; first week at hers and second at ours. My SW said 8 days but the FC said 10-12 and as its out of our area I guess she would have a better idea but it's a minimum of 8 days.

I think in reality what will probably happen is all dependent on how LO is settling. If its going brilliantly they won't drag it out but if LO clearly needs longer to settle they will do the full 12 days.

Hope this helps.

x


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## nicola jane

we also got told intros will take 8_12 days approx 2weeks after matching panel....we got our letter this morning confirming the time and date for mp and ours is 3rd june  xx


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## katie c

wow, i'm amazed people have had pictures of their potential LOs. we have been shown them of course, but don't we couldn't keep one for 'data protection.'   the FC offered to give us her number at our appreciation day, but had to rush off, so it didn't happen. I wonder of she intended to send us pictures? I'm glad she didn't now...   

baby - sorry your meeting was delayed. I was initially stunned that its so long for another, before I remembered its half term. And of course, SS gets to grind to a halt while the SWs all get to spend time with their kids   

AK - I too would be surprised if you don't get to meet the FC. Meeting ours was fantastic, one of the most positive things so far.

Wyxie - your post made me snigger. Glad its just not me who's bitter and twisted    

Jules - I've just remembered replying to your post in March   I imagine if we did have to get another link   it would be just like when women talk about a pregnancy after miscarriage...you just can't enjoy it.

As for us, apparently LO's SW is trying to push the medical through as a matter of urgency, but I have no idea how long that means, and then even if the appointment is done quickly, how long it will take to put the report together. Our SW is off next week (surprise surprise) but his isn't so hopefully she'll keep us in the loop.

Feel really meh at the mo, the weather isn't helping. Supposed to be training for a 10k race on Sunday and CBA to do anything other than eat salt and vinegar chipsticks and oreo chocolate. That'll help


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## MummyAuntieKatie

We have just been told MP will be at 10am, we already knew the date, June 6th... I'm expecting a formal letter like for Approval Panel, telling us the time and date and who will be attending.  Then we should have the DM decision by the 13 June, 1 week later.  

We've been advised that intros are likely to be 2 weeks (10 days) but could be longer/shorter depending on LO and how he settles in.  We start on Thursday 27th June (right after our Planning Meeting).  Apparently they make 2 plans, A and B, if plan A gets derailed we'll move to plan B, so yes, we are at their beck and call basically!  I'm so excited, and really nervous, being watched taking over care of a 2 year old on someone else's house terrifies me!  At least at home you can get stuff wrong without someone else looking over your shoulder...    

Wyxie, we were kept waiting for Approval Panel, we were told to be there by 9:15 and still hadn't been called in at gone 10, twiddling our thumbs and trying not to get more and more anxious!    I know, they keep telling you it's all about the children, but we are human beings too!

I'm really hoping we get to meet FC soon then, apparently she's lovely and very experienced, thank goodness!! 

Katie, salt & vinegar chip sticks can sort anything out... we just shared a bag of bacon rashers...


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## katie c

AuntieKatie said:


> Wyxie, we were kept waiting for Approval Panel, we were told to be there by 9:15 and still hadn't been called in at gone 10, twiddling our thumbs and trying not to get more and more anxious!  I know, they keep telling you it's all about the children, but we are human beings too!


You were lucky  We rocked up at our venue to be greeted by a silly look from the man on reception and to be told there weren't any panels there today. Luckily he had a number for SS and called them, to be told it was somewhere completely different. And more luckily we'd left enough time, plus the new venue is just down the road from my friend's house, so I knew where to go!

I mean, you'd think they would have, maybe, just maybe, considered telling us beforehand...


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## crazyspaniel

Thanks for the replies, AK might just roughly go by your schedule as our MP is on same day and LO similar ages....
Highly tempted to ring LA next wk to see if anyone else can give me info?!
Keep reading Wyxies post and chuckling, makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one frustrated with how things work sometimes...!!


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Hi everyone, 

Well yesterday I finished work omg!!!!!! 
I had an amazing last day and a fab night out. Lo has been very very spoilt. 
It's so overwhelming how generous everyone has been we're very lucky. 

So I now have a week before we meet our little boy we can't wait  

He recieved our pictures yesterday and our talking photo album his FC said he likes the album hehe. 

Hope everyone is ok. 

Hugs xxxxx


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## MummyElf

Emma that is so exciting!! We go to panel in a couple of weeks and I think from your signature that our LOs are around the same age - we can compare notes! I can't wait to have my last day at work in a couple of weeks time! Wow so intros next week....you must be buzzing!!


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## MummyElf

katie c said:


> AuntieKatie said:
> 
> 
> 
> Wyxie, we were kept waiting for Approval Panel, we were told to be there by 9:15 and still hadn't been called in at gone 10, twiddling our thumbs and trying not to get more and more anxious!  I know, they keep telling you it's all about the children, but we are human beings too!
> 
> 
> 
> You were lucky  We rocked up at our venue to be greeted by a silly look from the man on reception and to be told there weren't any panels there today. Luckily he had a number for SS and called them, to be told it was somewhere completely different. And more luckily we'd left enough time, plus the new venue is just down the road from my friend's house, so I knew where to go!
> 
> I mean, you'd think they would have, maybe, just maybe, considered telling us beforehand...
Click to expand...

That's awful!! Like, why not make a huge event really stressful! Thanks SS!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Countdown begins this week I think, Thursday we meet LO's new SW, she's coming to the house with our SW. Then Panel is 6 June!  If we are going to fit in a meeting with FC in the mean time they will have to arrange it soon!   

We've finally managed to get the bedroom clear of wood chip, and we've fitted the first window lock and knocked out the recessed window cill... Now we need to start to put it all back together again... lol!  Plus next week we'll need to start putting a DVD together, showing LO round the house (with the two jelly cat dogs dotted around in each scene) and reading him a bed time story.


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## Jules11

Have to admit I'm having a horrible "what if it all goes wrong" day today.  It's probably the miserable, rainy bank holiday having an effect.  I just feel so down and worried.  I have this huge knot in my tummy that things may all go wrong (again) either before or at matching panel.  I just hate feeling that so many others have control over our future.  

It could also be the effect of a little PMT, and that I just want this soooo much.  Please just let it be all ok.   

Jules xxx


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## Wyxie

That's great AuntieKatie, I'm looking forward to getting some things ready for Bladelet, but at the same time that's making me angry and sad all over again that Wyxling never got anything like that.  We are almost certain that nothing we sent to her was shown to her prior to us meeting her, we were complete strangers the day we met her.  :/

My cynicism about Social Services is mostly frustration.  My husband's firm have been really good about being flexible when we had Wyxling placed, but so much of that good will was used up when meetings happened so late he had to take the afternoon off as well as the morning, or at short notice, and then cancelled after he'd taken a day off with no notice, and so much of his holiday was wasted on things that didn't happen when they should and/or were cancelled at the last minute, sometimes with no notice, that on the occasions when I really could have used him at home to help out with Wyxling, he didn't feel able to push things any more to be there.  He's also had almost no holiday left to use for, well, a break.  We had an incredibly difficult placement with Wyxling and things were really, really tough for some months for all of us.  There were times when I really wanted to ring up and just say, please, today, come home, I need some help, and we couldn't, because we already felt like we'd messed them around too much because of Wyxling's SW's ineptitude and lack of common courtesy, we just couldn't keep doing it when we really do need my husband to do well at work.  I think we accept the reality that our children may mean I can't ever go back to work anything like full time and can't work at all for the next few years.

I bought some stuff for Bladelet.  Didn't do this before panel the first time round, but I'll admit I did enjoy it.  Bedding, curtains, some pictures for the wall.  The buggy of course, need a good one this time as I won't have the car for much longer and inevitably although Wyxling walks everywhere at the moment, she's going to grumble when Bladelet gets to ride, so I'm getting a buggy board for longer trips.  Also a baby walker and cot mobile.  It was nice getting baby stuff, but at the same time upsetting as again, we didn't get that with Wyxling and that makes me sad.

After driving me to tears on Friday with her controlling behaviour - it's very wearing at times and the 1 to 1 relationship is too intense for both of us sometimes - Wyxling's been great all weekend, and today's been absolutely lovely.  We've got loads done, she was delightful this morning playing with only intermittent reference to us while we did "stuff" in the house, lovely trip to the park, and played in the garden.  She came a complete cropper in the park and grazed her knee quite badly, and screamed for cuddles.  Clearly I'm not happy she fell over and hurt herself, but given that she did, it's reassuring to see a very healthy reaction we wouldn't have been there even a few months ago.  She never used to react to pain at all.  She watched hubby repaint the wall in her old bedroom, soon to be Bladelet's, which had an "accident" when she ripped something off the wall in a paddy, and no grumbles at all.  Next weekend she's going to help Daddy rebuild the cot for her brother, and is now quite OK about him having some of her old stuff that she doesn't need any more, on the strict condition that she is absolutely not out big girl, and is still our little baby.  I was surprised at her acceptance of the cot thing.  We often read her the Teazles Baby Bunny (a must have I think for littlies, it's a really gentle introduction to talking about adoption from the positive end of how much you wanted them).  She loves hearing how Daddy built her cot and Mummy painted her bedroom, and various other little things, but is now quite positive about the three of us doing all these things for her little brother.

Sadly, we're having real issues with my M-I-L about various things to do with Wyxling's care, which aside for being very upsetting for all of us, could make the introductions quite difficult, as she will (we think, and if not we're stuffed) be here looking after Wyxling during the first couple of days of the introductions so Bladelet can have some time with just us.  Whole situation is a bit of a mess at the moment and nothing I do or say seems to make it any better.  Short of giving in to them, which I won't do where my daughter's well being is concerned, I can't think how we can fix things with them right now.


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## Wyxie

Jules11 said:


> Have to admit I'm having a horrible "what if it all goes wrong" day today. It's probably the miserable, rainy bank holiday having an effect. I just feel so down and worried. I have this huge knot in my tummy that things may all go wrong (again) either before or at matching panel. I just hate feeling that so many others have control over our future.
> 
> It could also be the effect of a little PMT, and that I just want this soooo much. Please just let it be all ok.
> 
> Jules xxx


It's hard to shake that feeling, all I managed to do was keep busy to not think about it when we were waiting for Wyxling.

PMT doesn't help, I get horrendous problems with it too, and even if you know it's not helping, it's doesn't help you feel any better, but things normally do feel much easier to cope with once it's gone.

*hugs*

Wyxie xx


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## Jules11

Wyxie,

Thanks for the hugs and   to you to.

It must be so difficult planning for number 2 whilst Wyxling is still very much a baby.  I'm sure it will all work out in the end for both of us.  "if it's not OK then it's not the end".  That quote is keeping me going right now.

You're right about the PMT and I've just realised there is no wine or chocolate in the house.  BGT will have to get me through!!!!!

Keep going, our LO's need us to be the strong ones who keep fighting for their sake.

 

Jules xx


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## MummyElf

PMT and no wine or chocolate? Get thee to an all night supermarket! Quick!


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## katie c

awwww, hope you're ok Jules   I hate the feeling of being at other people's 'mercy' as it were too. It feels so wrong doesn't it? When other people get to have children so easily.

Anyway, i am having a double whammy of PMT as my period is due and getting the associated miserable mood, but in fact my period came early this month. How does that work?   Although it coming early helped me out as I ran my 10k yesterday. Just under 60 mins which isn't a personal best, but i'm thrilled with as it was SO crowded and SO hot!


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## Wyxie

Jules, no chocolate?  Honestly, what were you thinking about!  Last time I hit PMT with no chocolate in the house, I ended up eating up all the marzipan out the baking cupboard.  

Good job on the run katie c, not a bad time either!


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## Jules11

Katie C,

Total admiration,  running anytime when nothing big and scary is chasing deserves much admiration.  Very impressed.  You deserve a medal of the chocolate kind.  If your personal best is under 60 mins and you were not driving a car at the time you have earned my highest admiration.  I only run if a train is about to leave the station without me,  very well done. xxxx

Jules


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Very vivid dream last night!  We were at Social Services and we met LO!  And his dog...    Anyway, I was allowed to play with the dog (a little mixed breed puppy) but not LO and we got on well, me and the dog  ... That's it for me now, I'll be having strange dreams all week.  We meed his new SW Thursday then next week is Matching Panel, then countdown to Intros... Oh heck....


----------



## Wyxie

Anxiety does weird things to us at times.  I tend to have very odd dreams when I'm worrying about things outside my control as well, and have had the odd one recently.

A week or so back I dreamt that the water tank in our loft over-flowed and destroyed half of our house, just before Bladelet was due to be placed.  I checked the insurance document we have filed under the stairs, and we were covered for the damage, but we wouldn't be able to proceed with placement if we lived somewhere else for a time while all the work was done on the house to sort it out.  We therefore worked out some crazy plan to hide the face half our house was falling down and we were all sleeping in the same bedroom on matresses on the floor from Social Services until Bladelet was placed. 

Apparently I woke my husband up and asked him if the water tank had over-flowed.  He told me we don't have one, and I said "Oh good, it must have been a dream" and went back to sleep.  

I don't remember even waking up, if I even did.

Completely mental.  Welcome to the mad house.

I hope the meeting goes well tomorrow, and do let us know the next instalment in the crazy dreaming!

We have Wyxling's Celebration Hearing in the morning.  She doesn't really understand it which is a bit scary for her, so I'm hoping we can have a nice day.


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy

Hope you have a lovely day tomorrow wyxie. 

Xxxxxx


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Have a fab day!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Been shopping again!  Bought books, Very Hungry Caterpillar, Griffalos Child, We're Going on a Bear Hunt and One Ted Falls out of Bed  

We had a DVD from the SW yesterday, it's 6 months old but it's lovely to have Bluebird on hand to look at!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Ah how lovely, need to sort out ds old books for LO, he's looking forward to reading them to her  

Only 6 sleeps AuntieKatie   

Xx


----------



## MummyElf

Don't you just love childrens books!!   . I can't wait LO is old enough to discover Enid Blyton!


----------



## Wyxie

One Ted Falls Out Of Bed is awesome.  

Can I recommend The Teazles Baby Bunny, and Guess How Much I Love You? as being absolutely great for newly placed kids.

We change the names and the words slightly on the Teazles book and Wyxling loves it.


----------



## crazyspaniel

We've always loved 'the tickle book' and I think it would be great for sneaking in a bit of a tickle and cuddle with a new LO


----------



## Wyxie

Another one we find really useful is The Snuggle Sandwich.


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

I have The Teazles Baby Bunny on my Amazon list, will also want to try Guess How Much I Love You...   I had to check the Ted book in Waterstones, to make sure it had a happy ending... lol!  Was most concerned. Will look at Tickle and Snuggle too, thank you ladies.   Apparently LO loves books but accidentally tends to break them, so will be using lots of second hand ones for hands on until he's a little older.  I love books and hate to think of nice ones being ripped up...  

6 Sleeps to Panel OMG!  We have to decorate and furnish LO's room this weekend and early in the week so we can make our DVD to send after panel!  Tomorrow is a right off as we have 2 family do's to go to so Sunday will be very busy!


----------



## Wyxie

AuntieKatie said:


> We have to decorate and furnish LO's room this weekend and early in the week so we can make our DVD to send after panel! Tomorrow is a right off as we have 2 family do's to go to so Sunday will be very busy!


Sounds like a busy weekend.

We need to sort out furniture and put up curtains etc, but we need to do it with a 2 year old underfoot (and when I say underfoot, I really do mean it, Wyxling shadows me at a range of less than a foot the whole time I'm doing anything round the house normally). Cot needs rebuilding, lots of things to put up, I need to clear all our crap out of the other furniture in the spare room and work out where to put it and what we can throw out. We also need to sort out some photos and soundbites for our photo album. Wyxling wants to "help" build the cot though, so maybe hubby can keep her distracted for a while. 

Going to a bbq with Wyxling and hubby tomorrow afternoon though. It's only recently we've felt able to do things like this again so making the most of it. Going to be a lovely weekend weather wise round here. Been nice today actually, had an incredibly chilled and lovely play day with Wyxling today, although she got very upset then at hubby doing bedtime not me, in fact it's been a good week all round. Just please, Wyxling, sleep in tomorrow. Every morning this week I've had to drag her out of bed at around 7, the latest we can really leave it on a week day, what's the betting tomorrow it's 5:30 or something?


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Your weekend sounds very similar to ours but you have the added limpet! lol! Curtains, something else we need to sort out, OMG, I don't think we're going to get it all done!!!  

Hope you have a lovely BBQ tomorrow xx


----------



## Wyxie

Yes, you guys have a good one too!  You've got a couple of weeks after mp as well haven't you?  Did I imagine that?  I'm sure I read your intros start on 27 June but maybe I imagined that?


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Yep, that's right, we have 2 weeks to stock up on everything once we know what BB (Bluebird) is bringing with him.  Unfortunately they want the Tomy Talking Photo Album and DVD for the FC as soon as we've got a recommendation from Panel so the bedroom has to be filmed and photographed by Wednesday... I may be taking a trip to Ikea Sunday or Monday and DH is going to have a lot of sanding and building to do!     Love it really!    No idea where I am going to get curtains from... Hope to get some ready made. It's all lovely but I thought we had 3 weeks, forgetting that filming of the house would need to be done so much sooner!


----------



## GERTIE179

Just a thought auntie Katie but could you not film from the window angle or something if you have bits to be finished?

We had very little time between MP and intros starting but little mans room had to be finished after our long drive back from intros (wholly not recommended lol). We still have neutral curtains etc and plan to redo in a years time when it will need more boyish stuff & include him rather than baby theme.
X


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

GERTIE179 said:


> Just a thought auntie Katie but could you not film from the window angle or something if you have bits to be finished?


Am sure we can work something out, but we won't have BB's bed as he's bringing it with him so we already need to be quite creative... lol... Oh the juggling will just be fun I'm sure..


----------



## Wyxie

AuntieKatie, Dunelm Mill do some nice kids curtains (plus bedding/lampshades/pictures etc) which are blackout lined (you will definitely want something reasonably thick in summer unless you want those 5:00am wake up calls!).  Otherwise I found a website online that I got Wyxling's from which I can probably dig out the address for if you want it.  They were a bit plasticy, but she doesn't care and they do keep the light out, they have all sorts of nice patterns and designs on there!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Funnily enough I was just on the Dunelm website, we have one close by so might pop down on the weekend, thanks honey xx


----------



## Wyxie

I don't go in there often, because I could just spend so much if I let myself!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Uh oh!  We're off to Dunelm to buy curtains and a blackout blind! What else will I come back with?!   

ETA: Got lovely sage green black out curtains, black out blind to match, curtain pole and hooks and some cute little animal bath toys, all for under £70! Bargain!


----------



## nicola jane

eeek our matching panel tomoro very nervous but excited too! just need to ring first thing cos been mix up with the time    x


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Good luck Nicola Jane!!  Looking forward to hearing how you get on! x


----------



## Wyxie

Good luck, I hope all goes well tomorrow.  Let us know how you get on.


----------



## crazyspaniel

Good luck Nicola Jane! X


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy

Good luck Nicola Jane thinking of you xxxxx


Omg one more sleep arghhhhhhhhhhhhh

Cannot wait to meet our little man tomorrow. 

So scared, excited I feel everything right now. 

Ill post back tomorrow. 

Hugs xxxxxxxx


----------



## Wyxie

Good luck Emma too, really hope things go very well tomorrow.

We've got lots of stuff sorted this weekend.  I'm trying to do the photo album.  We got the Tomy talking photo album, and have been finding the "right" photos and deciding what to put in it.  But of course it's lying around and Wyxing wants it because it's brightly coloured (she didn't know it made noises) and was having a bit of a sulk about it not being hers. 

Now when it's picked up and opened my husband's voice says "Wyxling, it's not yours"  "Wyxling, put it down".  After she got over the shock and worked out what was going on she was massively tickled and has been opening it loads.  Then agreed it's not hers and helped me find some photos and wants to record a message for Bladelet. 

She's so contrary at times, but at least she's got a bloody good sense of humour!


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy

Awwww that is too cute 

We used that photo album too it's fab our little man loves it. 
Xxxxx


----------



## crazyspaniel

We've been Tomy photo albuming tonight too! 
Good job you can record over and over again, lots of giggling later it's done, phew!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

What are you all saying on your album?  We have to record ours for Thursday so we can send home to Bluebird after MP... Such a lot to do still, the photo album, DVD, decorating and furniture building, laminated photos etc etc etc... DH has taken tomorrow off so we can do the Ikea run.


----------



## Wyxie

We're going very simple - he's only 10 months.

Just "Hi Bladelet, we're your new family" "This is Wyxling" "Mummy loves you very much" "These are our cats" "We can't wait to meet you and bring you home" type thing.  It's hard, I'm struggling, hubby is quite good at it.


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Hmm, sounds strait forward, we can use similar things for BB.  I'm more dreading the DVD, we have to read a story to him as well as show him round the house.  The tour will be fine, but acting out reading a story to a 2 year old is making me sweat a bit.  Like yours, my DH will be great and ham it up but whilst I can me a clown one to one, doing it for a DVD is somehow different...


----------



## Wyxie

I would struggle with a DVD.  Could you show him round the house and then cheat and get one of those recordable story books?  You can get Guess How Much I Love You and record yourself reading it onto the book, if that makes sense, so it's the book, but your voice when he turns the pages.  Might be a bit much with the album too but maybe not given his age?  Not sure?


----------



## crazyspaniel

Ours is fairly simple too, we have a cuddly toy for LO that features in the pictures taken around the house, the 3 of us took it in turns to speak!
Haven't been asked for DVD but have done a recordable story book too x


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

I think we'll just have to suck it up, I'll find my hidden acting talent...  

We've also got 2 Jellycat dogs to feature in the DVD, which will be cute and we'll sleep with them and send the with the DVD after panel...


----------



## crazyspaniel

Crossed posts with Wyxie, that's the book I've done  x


----------



## Wyxie

Well, I'm sleeping with a bunny at the moment, but not tonight.  I don't think "your new mummy smells of beer" is the message we want to send.


----------



## purplexed

Hi There

Can I join in please!!!
We have MP on 6th June too for a 10 month old little boy. So excited I could burst!!

Good luck everyone!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Welcome purlelexed!! 
That's 3 of us at mp on 6th June now   

Feeling a bit scared now....
Anyone know what they're likely to ask?!


----------



## purplexed

Our SW says they'll be easy questions like why were you drawn to this particular child and what is your support network like.
Apparently they tell you what the questions will be in advance so you have a few mins to prepare your answers... hopefully!!

I am scared to death. Almost had a panic attack in the baby aisle of sainsburys yesterday!!!

Hey Crazy spaniel looks like your journey has been the same as ours, approved in August, linked in April!! and now MP on the same day! How amazing is that!! How old is you LO?


----------



## MummyElf

Our MP is 12 June and we are getting seriously excited! I finish work this friday as have a load of holiday to take and want to be calm and stress-free by the time we meet LO , which my job doesn't lend itself to! This really is the most exciting thing any of us have done I think!!


----------



## crazyspaniel

LO is 2 x
I feel more worried about MP than AP, although hopefully will be less stressful?!
Have you been told to take photo albums Etc in with you?
X


----------



## Wyxie

Hi Purplexed, welcome, and good luck for matching panel.  We're at MP on 6 June too.  It does rather seem to be the day for it, doesn't it?

I suspect we may get a more substantial questioning this time given the recent placement of Wyxling, although in theory that was covered by approval panel.  Getting quite nervous.  Wyxling's been wobbly this morning, though, which always unsettles me and pushes my stress levels up a couple of notches.  Luckily, we have some great free toddler stuff in our local park when the weather is good, and it's forecast to be a beautiful week, so I have our entertainment mapped out for the week despite the break in routine caused by MP and another meeting I have to go to on Wednesday afternoon, and a trip to get wills sorted this morning.

I got some photos printed out this morning for the album we're doing for Bladelet, but haven't got one of the room yet.  Have picture of me, hubby, me and hubby together, our cats, a couple of Wyxling (one of which gives a good view of the garden and sandpit and one of her at a local place we go to paint), plus one of the three of us.  Think we really could do with one of the room but I've got a feeling we may struggle to get it done in time.  That'll be tonight's mission once Wyxling's in bed!


----------



## purplexed

We've been asked to do a Tomy talking album. We have a pic of me, DH, both of us in the garden, in his room and in lounge. Going to do the recordings tonight..might take a while!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Wyxie said:


> Think we really could do with one of the room but I've got a feeling we may struggle to get it done in time. That'll be tonight's mission once Wyxling's in bed!


I am in the same place with Bluebird's room! Currently covered in paint and have been to Ikea for furniture... Car and truck stickers have arrived though and we have a lampshade, curtains, blind etc. Can't wait to get it all finished!

Hi Purplexed, we are another 6 June MP couple! What an exciting and busy week.

I thought we were going to have to get ink for the printer for photos, but think I might pop some on a memory pen and go to Tesco to use their machine. Great week for pictures with the sun shining!


----------



## purplexed

WOW is that 4 of us at MP on 6th?! 
I think theres going to be a lot of champagne corks being popped that night......hopefully


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

We are all going to do brilliantly I'm positive! We haven't put in all the blood, sweat and tears to fall at the final fence! Next time a woman tells be how hard it is giving birth she's going to get a run down of our last 20 months!


----------



## purplexed

Ha ha ha thats so funny!! Although a friend of mine just went through a 28 hour labour and said it felt like she was s***ing out her spine!! So I'm thinking we had a lucky escape


----------



## nicola jane

yippee matching panel said yes   intros starting 12th june cant wait still aint sunk in yet xxx


----------



## Wyxie

Wonderful news.  You must be on cloud nine.  Congratulations!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Fantastic, congratulations !!!!  
Not long til intros, how exciting xx


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy

Hi everyone, 

Today has been amazing we couldn't of asked for it to go any better. 

Ds had just woken up when we got there but he soon came round and started playing peekaboo with dh. 

We played lots then gave him his tea before setting off home. 2 hours went so quickly can't wait for tomorrow we have all day with him  

Can't describe how we are feeling right now just we love him so much  

Sorry it's not a long post I'm shattered hehe. 

Hugs xxxxxxx

Congratulations Nicola Jane  xxxx


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Congratulations NJ and Emma, can't wait to hear the next instalment!  Have a wonderful day and hope you have the energy to update later xx

I think our intros could be hard, LO is very attached to his FC and shy with strangers, but fingers crossed, the FC has moved on in excess of 50 kids so she'll know what she's doing!  

The good news is that the bedroom is decorated (it's not going to get me a decorating job but it does what's needed), curtains are up along with light shade, just need to build furniture now! x


----------



## Wyxie

So glad you had a wonderful day Emma.

AuntieKatie, it's great that your son's foster carer is so experienced.  I'm sure it will be very difficult for him to move, but having had such a stable placement and being able to form a solid attachment to his foster carer will show benefits in the long run.  Shy with strangers isn't such a bad thing, you want it to be all about you and hubby when you get him home for a while.  Things have got a lot easier with Wyxling since she started being so shy.

Glad to hear the room is going well.

I just called our SW to ask for an update on how Bladelet is doing prior to going to panel on Thursday.

Meanwhile Wyxling and I had been making the most of the lovely weather again.  She has, however, just woken up after only 20 minutes sleep, which doesn't bode well for the afternoon!


----------



## crazyspaniel

How're my fellow 6th June panel people doing?!
The butterflies in my tummy are doing sumersaults tonight....


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Similar! lol!  Just trying to find decent pics to go into the Tomy album and DH still has to build wardrobes...     Feel a little bit sick already.. lol


----------



## purplexed

We just recorded the messages for our tomy album. We sound like complete idiots. It going to be so embarrasing seeing them handing it round at panel!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Ours are awful too! Imagine LOs bringing them home and having to listen to them 27 times a day ha ha!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Oh god! Are they going to listen to it at Panel!?!?


----------



## crazyspaniel

It's probably the highlight of their day watching us cringe


----------



## Wyxie

We haven't been asked to take ours, the LA that's placing Bladelet are somewhat behind on pre-move work I think.  At least it means they probably won't be opening it at panel.  I don't mind too much though, and the photos of Wyxling are beautiful, it's always nice to show off my beautiful daughter and I have to be so careful about it most of the time.  

Spoke to our SW today to ask for an update on Bladelet, which she is going to try and get for us before panel.  He has had a paediatric appointment since we met SW, plus six weeks time passed, so I really want to make sure there's nothing I'm just not being told about for want of asking before mp this time round!

For some reason got very upset on the phone to our SW.  It hadn't really got through how much the situation has been getting to me the last few weeks.  I am nervous for panel if I actually think about it, but I haven't been too much, but much more nervous about the introductions if we are approved.  I am terrified of turning up and finding out he's nothing like we've been told or another situation like we did when Wyxling was placed.  It's not that I think things will be easy, but I know that if we had as difficult a transition as we did with Wyxling, it would be very hard on all of us.  I'm not sure I could cope with bring another child home in those sort of circumstances.


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy

Good luck to everyone going to panel on 6th you'll all do amazing and will be meeting you lo's very soon. 

Wanted to pop on to wish you luck as tomorrow intro is a late one we're doing bedtime and he doesn't got to bed till late so probably won't get online tomorrow. 

Today has been amazing he's just the best he's taken to us so well, he remembered us as soon as we walked in this morning, I gave him his dinner, changed a dirty nappy yep I was grinning like mad eeeaaakkkk my 1st dirty nappy lol (sad I know lol) we then took him to the park with FC and had a good 2 hours there as the weather has been so lovely. 
We left just before his tea. 

Can't wait for tomorrow. 

This will be you all very soon once you meet your baby everything we've been through to get to this day just fades away. It's totally worth it  

Good luck everyone 
Lots of love 
Xxxxxxx


----------



## katie c

well our potential LO's SW didn't bother calling us last week, and our SW who was back today hasn't either.

appreciate they may not have any news, and the new medical hasn't been set up, but you'd think one of them would have called just to offer abit of support wouldn't you? we're so scared and worried and upset, it must be like the equivilant of getting a bad but inconclusive scan, and having to wait for news


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

*HELP: *

Having a mini meltdown! MP is tomorrow and last night, brought on by late night making of wardrobes, me and DH had a big bust up. We kind of sorted it out but now I just feel sad. He said he felt undervalued and like he had too much on (he does work really long hours) but I didn't appreciate him, made me feel like I wasn't pulling my weight, even though he says that's not what he meant at all. So yes, now I just feel sad and low.   I think maybe we've stopped considering each other in the mad rush to get everything ready for MP but I'm not sure how to make it right... Such a shame because Bluebird's room is looking really lovely and it was supposed to be fun and exciting making it ready... if you see what I mean? Wish I could just cheer up, it's a lovely day and I have to get the house ready for the DVD filming later...


----------



## purplexed

Lovely post Emma 1605. I am really looking forward to changing my first dirty nappy and am so pleased there'll be a lovely FC there to show me how to do it! I had a good look at a nappy yesterday and could not work out which way round it goes!!

Good luck everyone. KatieC try not to worry, everything will work out in the end...I promise!


----------



## purplexed

Awww Auntie Katie dont feel sad   My DH had a similar meltdown recently and we had a massive row. It turned out that he was panicking about everything changing. He hadn't really thought about what was happening and MP looming had made him realise that our lives were going to change dramatically!! 
He's probably worried that your attention wont be on him as much anymore. Just give him lots of love, attention and reassurance that he is still important. Men are fragile creatures!!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Thanks honey.  We just had a chat on the phone, he said it wasn't me and that he was just being an idiot with all the work, preparations, life in general as it was getting him down but he's fine and really excited about Bluebird because he really believes it will change our lives for the better.    Sometimes he just has trouble communicating how he's feeling and then it all just spills out in the wrong way...   

I think I'm feeling a bit better, got to get a cheerful head on me for making a fool of myself later making the DVD and recording the album! lol... I think a large glass of wine might help with that though!


----------



## crazyspaniel

AuntieK, hope your day improves  
It will all be fine x DP has been stressing me out by asking if he really needs to come to matching panel, he thinks its funny but I DON'T!! I know it's his way of trying to diffuse the tension/worry....
He's just as excited and anxious about tomorrow as I am but men just cope in a different way to us, we've had a bit of tension between a couple of times over the last few weeks!  
A little person obviously changes the dynamics in your little family and men often feel 'left out' when a woman is spending lots of time concentrating on LO. Keep talking/ laughing and you will be fine xx

I'm off to work a long day today, by the time I get home again it will be Thursday 6th June, D day!!! Think I may be fairly useless whilst at work though  
Xx


----------



## purplexed

Wine therapy is fantastic! I shall be drinking lots of "Mummys special lemonade" in the next few weeks/months/years!
Im glad everything is sorted. Have fun with the DVD!!


----------



## purplexed

Good luck for today everyone! I shall be looking out for all the yes posts!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Can't stop, feel a little sick, a bit nervous, hate all this jumping through hoops but fingers crossed today!    Good luck to all you mums to be out there, Wyxie, Crazy, and someone else but I can't remember, blame my addled mind!!!  Back later to update xxx


----------



## crazyspaniel

Good luck AuntieKatie, Wyxie and purplexed!!   

Ooh feel so nervous, heart is racing!!
Xxx


----------



## Wyxie

Yes, we have a son, introductions start 14th, current planned move date is 21st.

Just got home, hubby has gone back to work and I can't stop crying.  Wyxling due home any minute so need to get myself together quickly!

Looking forward to hearing from other people later.


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Well done Wyxie!  We got a fabulous resounding YES too!  We are going to be a mummy and daddy to a wonderful son!  Intros start 27 June!    Update more about Panel later, it was long winded because they wanted more up to date information before making a decision but they loved us apparently and even the Chair cried when she told us the good news... That made 4 of us blubbing! xxx


----------



## MummyElf

Congratulations Auntie Katie & Wyxie!! So exciting!!! I finish work tomorrow, MP is next week with intros planned for 24 June or a few days before. GULP!! 

Wow Wyxie...this time next week it will be 'one sleep to go' til you meet Bladelet!!!! 

For some reason the extra emoticons don't show up on my work pc but if they did I would be sending party hats and champagne bottles to you both!


----------



## purplexed

We got a yes too! DH and I also cried when they told us! Intros start on [email protected]
Congrats everyone!!!


----------



## Wyxie

Great news all round.  Right, better go get trouble up now I've got myself together a bit.  She seems hell bent on sleeping the afternoon away!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Hoorah, what a great day for everyone, well done to CS and Purplexed!!!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Congrats to everyone today, we did it!!!  
Xx


----------



## Jules11

Well done all of you matching panel buddies.  Amazing that you all had panel today.  I wonder if any of you were at the same place.

So so pleased for you.  Can't wait to hear all about planning meetings and intros.  

4 new families made today,  how fantastic is that.   

Jules xxxx


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Jules, that's a lovely thing to say, 4 new families!!! I wish I had the 'group hug' emoji!  Still reeling here, and have put our son's picture out on display, I now feel justified! xxx


----------



## purplexed

What a great idea! Im going to buy a frame tomorrow!!


----------



## Wyxie

That reminds me that I need to get a more up to date photo of Wyxling up somewhere.  I have a lovely collage print on the wall of some professional photos we had done about 6 months ago (it was my leaving gift when I went on adoption leave from work when Wyxling was placed, although we delayed it a while until we thought she'd handle it OK).  They are beautiful, but she's growing up so much and I want a picture on the wall of her with her wonderful bouncy pigtails and big smile, and looking a bit less perfectly groomed.  Can't wait to have a photo of both my babies together.

I just ordered a car seat - exactly the same as Wyxling's. 

Hubby is being sent to pick up a couple of bits tomorrow.  I intend to clean my house top to bottom this weekend and early next week and get the last remaining tat in the loft, ready for intros.  We have beautiful weather forecast this weekend, going to make the most of it and take Wyxling swimming and to the park and do other fun things!

Worried and excited all at once!


----------



## nicola jane

eeeek we meet our lo,s tomorrow! don,t know if i,m excited or just plain terrified


----------



## monkeymooo

Aw NJ how exciting!! But terrifying too, I am sure I will be bricking it when I am in your shoes in  just over 2 weeks   

I hope it all goes great, let us know how you get on!



Mmoo x


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

NJ, my tummy did a little flip for you then!  Good luck, have a wonderful time xxx


----------



## crazyspaniel

Have a great day NJ   x


----------



## Wyxie

Good luck for tomorrow Nicola Jane, will be thinking about you.

I am exhausted after complete very physical hour and a half long Wyxling meltdown earlier today, I don't think I've ever seen her that upset before.  On an up note she wasn't actually trying to hurt me, she was just trying to fight away from me having decided she wasn't having her nappy on, but I am aching all over from keeping her safely contained while she raged for so long, and it was awful seeing her that upset.  In retrospect, we needed it in a way, she's been going downhill and very unhappy the last few days and getting very agitated, I think because the reality of Bladelet coming has hit, she now has a timescale she can comprehend.  I've managed to keep things pretty stable using some very helpful ways of getting her to regulate and bring her down which we've been working on recently, but it's been hard to keep her distracted and get some happy time and I think she was bound to bubble over at some point.  We have however been much calmer for the rest of the day and had a really nice afternoon playing and just pottering around the house, a big bubble bath together, and a significantly better than average bedtime, probably helped by her being exhausted.  I think *touch wood* we should be able to get a nice day together tomorrow before we have my M-I-L arrive to cover for life appreciation day on Thursday and our first meeting with Bladelet on Friday.


----------



## crazyspaniel

We are meeting our daughter next Tuesday!!!!           
Just slightly excited.....


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Wyxie, so excited for you.  I'm really   that having Bladelet home will eventually let Wyxling chill a bit, wonder if it might take the pressure off, having another little person around?  I know what I'm trying to say but I don't think it's coming out right.  Perhaps having a younger brother might make her feel responsibility and care for another human being because he will be helpless?  IYSWIM?

CS, whoop!!!  How exciting too, I can't wait to hear all the stories!

I've been to buy a rug for LO's room and some children's coat hangers, so I've not hung up almost all the age 2-3 clothes my friend brought round for me.     We are still actually waiting for the formal decision to be issues from DM but it ought to be here this week...  Just want it all to happen now, this in between time is just making me panic! Anyhoo, if SW gets back to me with Bluebird's nappy size I'm going to stock up tomorrow when I meet a couple of friends for coffee and shopping, then tomorrow night we are meeting 2 couples from our Prep Course, one couple we see a lot but the other we haven't seen since April last year when Prep finished so will be great to catch up. x


----------



## MummyElf

We passed matching panel today    

They were so lovely! Asked us a few questions but were so nice and said they were very impressed with us and our insight into the needs of LO. Emotionally exhausted now! Had a sleep when we got home!! We should meet her next week   

DH has gone to get a huuuuuuge Chinese celebration dinner and some  

So happy right now. We are going to be parents to the most gorgeous baby girl and we're on cloud 9. 

Woohoooooo!


----------



## Wyxie

Congratulations LilyElf.  Wonderful news!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

LilyElf, congratulations!  What a merry bunch we are here!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Fab news LilyElf, congratulations!!


----------



## MummyElf

Thanks ladies! We are indeed! Two glasses later and I'm very jolly...and tired!   But I guess I need to get used to the latter!


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi ladies, can I join you please? We are now officially linked to a LO and are at panel in July. Looking forward to getting to know you, although sure I know a lot of you from the chat thread.

Greenie x


----------



## Wyxie

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, greeniebop.  Not long until panel at all.  Why aren't our LA as quick as that ffs!

Life appreciation day tomorrow.  Looking forward to it, hubby is now on adoption leave, but really dreading seeing Wyxling's SW.  I didn't know he'd be there, and I just find seeing him incredibly difficult.  I loathe the man.  We also completely by chance bumped into him when we went to theraplay today, and it has really upset Wyxling.  Not what we needed right now, although for once, it wasn't anything that was his fault.  Mind, he could have made an attempt to briefly reassure her given he knew she'd seen him, rather than just legging it from me.

Due to meet Bladelet on Friday!  Excited/terrified.


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi wyxie, all the best for Friday. We are counting down the weeks we're going buggy shopping this weekend. Hope wyxling settles x


----------



## baby0684

Congratulations to everyone on MP.

Is so nice to see so many families in a short space of time being approved.

I have just had conformation that SW want to go ahead with little bee. Just got to wait for conformation of panel date now.


----------



## Wyxie

Great news baby0684, hope you get a date soon!

We had our life appreciation day today, which was actually really useful and felt very positive.  Wyxling was upset about us being away, but coping so far.  Crikey, tomorrow's the day.

Edited to add: Wyxling's SW had a last minute emergency and couldn't go, much to our relief.  I can't imagine him having anything much of relevance to add that we haven't heard before.


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## nicola jane

well day two of intros over and omg! totally amazing they are so happy and are little beauties they blow us away with how placid they are!as soon as we go in they come to us and dont leave us at all! hate coming home without them but not for much longer


----------



## Wyxie

On our way to the planning meeting, then straight to meet Bladelet.  Left a smiling wyxling waving us off, much to my surprise.  Very excited/nervous/emotional now.  Feel just like I did when we were going to meet Wyxling.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Wyxie, do you get then impression he's avoiding you??    Have a wonderful day, hope you can update later about your wee man x

NJ, amazing! Looking forward to hearing more.  Are you seeing them over the weekend?


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## Lizard39

Just gate crashing your thread   Wyxie have a wonderful day meeting Bladelet   and go good to hear Wyxling was happy & waving you off.


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Good luck today wyxie  

Fab news Nicola Jane glad intros are going well. 

Sorry not been on for a while lo has been home now since Tuesday and its going really well, he goes to bed it earlier than he did at FC and he seems to be developing a new routine which is fab. 
He started teething on Wednesday so Wednesday night was a sleepless night but last night he only woke up twice so I think we're starting to manage the teething better. 

He's an amazing little boy and we're so happy  

Hope everyone's ok? Good luck to those starting intros xxxxxx


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## purplexed

Good luck Wyxie, thinking of you today!
Emma thats fab news that your LO has settled in so well.
we're starting our intros next week so just waiting waiting waiting! Off out tonight for a few drinkies with DH. Last time for a while!!


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## crazyspaniel

Hope you having a great day Wyxie x

Emma-is-a mummy, sounds like you're all doing really well  

NJ, hope things are going well x

Purplexed, we start intros next week too   

Trying to get organised, last shift at work Monday... Ds very excited, especially as he gets to leave school early to meet his sister


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, we had the Decision Makers ratification today!  Our son (OMG) will meet us for the first time, as far as we know for now, on 27 June!  DH and I are a mummy and daddy!   

Looking forward so much to hearing how you all get on to set us up for when ours begin, good luck everyone!  Hope you are having a good day Wyxie. 

We had a meal out last night with 2 other couples from our prep course, was such a good evening, we didn't stop chatting and I'm hoping with all my hopes that they will be joining us on intros soon once they find their matches!


----------



## Wyxie

Wyxling's SW didn't go the life appreciation day in the end, and it was a good day.  We heard so many lovely things about our little boy from everyone whose known him during his short life.

Today started brilliantly.  Wyxling had been upset yesterday about being left, and wouldn't talk to us when we got home, then we had a big upset, and everything was OK, if very clingy and subdued.  This morning we had a great play and she very cheerfully waves us off when we left, knowing we were going to meet Bladelet.  It was such a great feeling to go and leave her smiling.

Planning meeting this morning took longer than expected, mainly because of us realising we may need a little longer than we'd initially thought.  Plan is now for a move next Friday if possible, but probably the following Monday.

Then we went to meet our little boy.  

As soon as I walked in the room and saw him I was completely bowled over.  He's absolutely beautiful.  We took a shiny helium balloon which was definitely a hit, he loved it and soon worked out how to make all sorts of interesting noises with it.  He's such a happy, cheeky, giggly little monkey, and so very much like his big sister, it was impossible not to fall in love with him.  The hour and a half we spent there just vanished in a flash.  He was playful, smiley, alert and very aware of what was going on around him, quite brave about coming to us, trying to pull himself up and very determined to try and walk around.  We got lots of beautiful smiles, and a few cuddles.  We couldn't have hoped for things to go any better.

It was very hard, especially with how much he looked like our Wyxling, not to just scoop him up and snuggle him the second we walked in.  He looked and felt like our son as soon as we saw him.  Hubby was so happy.  He loves Wyxling very much, but she was very scared of men when we met her and it was months before she would have allowed the sort of casual contact that Bladelet will, in little things like holding a finger, or other small contacts.  

We're back tomorrow afternoon with Wyxling, she'll be involved for the rest of the introductions now, which is right.

When we got home today, we found a very upset and scared little girl.  Being Wyxling of course she doesn't cry, she's avoiding us, difficult, despondent, then when we get her and keep her with us she screams and fights and then cries.  Poor little Wyxling just doesn't understand at the moment.  Mostly, because we've left her for two almost full days, far more than we've ever done before, and she's really upset.  After we finally had the big upset that was coming the rest of the evening was Mummy, don't leave me.  I have promised her we will go everywhere together all day tomorrow.  Hubby is putting Wyxling to bed tonight, and she has had a big tantrum at bedtime.  Poor little thing is just settling and I think she'll go off to sleep now in seconds.

So, tomorrow we have a morning to ourselves and we'll go to the park, always good for a stressed Wyxling, then go to meet Bladelet in the afternoon.  I think the first meeting will be OK for her.  He's a smiley baby, and she loves smiley babies.  Having said that though, I'm far more scared about tomorrow than I was about today.

M-I-L is still here, not sure when she's planning on staying until.  Things are a little tense, but she's really kept Wyxling distracted the last two days.  Now we need to get back to just the three of us in the house, then add in number four.

I am feeling knackered, wired, excited, and brilliantly happy as well as incredibly guilty all at the same time.

Thanks to everyone who sent their good wishes, I'm sorry, I do not have time tonight to reply to everyone, but it really is very much appreciated.  This community has become a huge source of support very quickly.

Wyxie xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

How did you get on Wyxie?  Hope today went really well.  

I'm buzzing! Our FC phoned for a chat and was on the phone for over an hour!  She's lovely, very down to earth and very experienced. Told me all about Bluebird, what he likes, doesn't like, what sets him off and how charming he can be.  I can start to stock up on nappies now I know what size and we've planned a trip during intros to get his new shoes!    She was about to buy his new wardrobe as up to now age 2-3 had been a bit big and he was still in 18-24 months but when I told her how much stuff we had she's pleased she won't need to stock up.  She's convinced that given time he'll be absolutely fine with the dogs which was great to hear! 

He likes lots that Dh likes, especially fish fingers and strawberry milkshake!   

When she said she had to go so she could, and I quote 'wake your son up' I had a real flutter in my tummy!  Can't wait to meet them all now!  He's had his Tomy album and it very taken by the cat!  Of all things.    I'm just on a real high now ladies...


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## crazyspaniel

How lovely AuntieK xxx
What a lovely FC, sounds like your intros will go fantastically well


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## Wyxie

AuntieKatie that's such good news, it really does bode well for the introductions.  Bladelet's f/c has been brilliant so far, and so have the rest of the family.  I'm incredibly grateful to them!

Last night was an absolutely terrible night's sleep.  Today was the day I was really very, very worried about.  We've tried to predict how Wyxling would react, but it's such a different situation for her, all we could really do was take our best guess.  I had nightmares all night that I left Wyxling again.  I promised her yesterday that we'd be together now, for the rest of the introductions with Bladelet, she'd be with us and no more Mummy leaving her.  All night I kept dreaming that I left her again, I forgot about her, left her and went out, and then when I came back I knew she'd never love me.  Felt like death by this morning, and tbh, I'm practically asleep now.

Anyway, needless to say I didn't accidentally leave Wyxling and go out, and never could, but I was really worried about her meeting with Bladelet.

In the end it went as well as I could have hoped.  Wyxling coped brilliantly, in what was obviously a really hard and confusing situation for her.  She was completely overwhelmed when we got to the f/c house, she never deals well with new places, especially ones with lots of big men in them!  But, once we got her to come out her shell a little she was fantastic.  She was very kind and gentle with Bladelet.  Very interested in playing with him, and doing things with him, helping him walk etc.  She was super quiet at bedtime when my husband and the f/c took him upstairs to put him into bed and went up to blow him a kiss.  She clearly didn't know how to behave in certain situations, in particular sharing toys.  Wyxling isn't the sort of child where you can just have a vague "we'll share and Mummy will step in when she thinks it's not working" sort of set up.  She needs to know the rules, for everything, she constantly questions.  She did get very agitated at times, and it was hard to bring her down in the f/c very busy house, but we managed OK and no blow ups.  I suspect there may be a whopper in the morning, but at least we got her home and to bed without any major drama.  Bladelet is teething, and didn't want to eat today, which is apparently very unusual.  Between his f/c and me we managed to get about half his dinner into him, and then hubby got a bit of weetabix in and some milk later on.

Bladelet is definitely more comfortable with me than with hubby, and was quite distressed when I went out the room with Wyxling on a couple of occasions, but easily soothed by me.  He also clearly wanted his f/c a few times when he was along with us which was good, from my point of view, and when I thought he needed to see a familiar face we popped in to see his f/c for a little bit.  Not that he was screaming for her, just looking and not quite happy.  We managed to get a good mix of time with us on our own and with the foster family, who were fantastic with us, Wyxling and Bladelet.  Hubby and I also both managed some brief one to one time with Wyxling, and I got some time on my own with Bladelet.  He's a really snuggly baby and very curious.  Also had some time with Wyxling and Bladelet, and no hubby, and that was really nice, even if it did make me realise how good I'm going to have to get a baby juggling.  Wyxling was utterly delighted that she got to have a snuggle sandwich with Bladelet as the Jam (I really need to get that book).  This is something she's been planning for ages.  Luckily he didn't object to a certain amount of squashing!

Wyxling didn't sleep in the car on the way back, although she was very tired, and I couldn't get her to sleep at this end either, before I left the room.  I was really hoping to.  She was pushing me away at various points in the day, which she does anyway at times, and I just ignored her and told her Mummy knew she needed cuddles.  Somewhat surprisingly, she didn't make a big fuss about it, other than when we got home and it took me a few minutes to get her to accept cuddles and she was trying to push herself out my arms.  Didn't last long, got her calmed down and she was asleep seconds after I left the room.

I am knackered, happy, and if I'm honest, more than anything right now, relieved.  Tomorrow is a rest day, which I think will be good for us too, we're back first thing on Monday.  Wyxling is not going to like the wake up call, I only hope I can get ready without waking her and put her back to sleep in the car, or we're in for a rough morning and she'll be very unhappy long before lunch!


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## monkeymooo

Hi all

Wyxie, it sounds like things are going brilliantly, I hope you had a lovely rest day today, and I hope all goes smoothly with Wyxling in the morning.

AuntieKatie, that is great that you had a chat with the FC - I would love to do that.. We did meet FC a while back which was great but I had lots of follow up questions and at the moment we are communicating through SW...all questions etc get passed on and then I hear back from SW.  It's funny how things vary between LAs.  Did you get to meet FC too?  By the way, I need to thank you for your post from a while back that I found when researching buggies - I am also now the proud owner of the babyjogger city mini (with lovely discount from mothercare!)  Have been trialling it this afternoon with a toy donkey in it - the dog wasn't keen on getting in!

Crazy spaniel and Purplexed, I think this week is intros for you?  Eeek! How are you feeling?  Lilyelf are you this week too?

Emma how are things going? It sounds like LO is settling in brilliantly  

Nicola Jane, I hope intros continue to go well!  Wow so much happening!

Well today, we have been mainly taking hilarious photos of ourselves, a toy monkey and the dog for the Tomy photo album.  We just need to do the recordings...I'm a bit confused though, about how we should refer to ourselves - what did everyone else do?  We went to some training where we were told we usually would use our first names, but with younger ones use 'mummy and daddy' - I asked at training what we'd use for a two year old and they said it depends on the child and the child's SW would advise us.  I asked our SW last week and she said to just use whatever we are comfortable with...I wondered what other people with LOs a similar age have done?  

Anyway, not got much time to decide, as have MP tomorrow and we're meant to take it with us, so ....mmm thinking just to use mummy and daddy??

Have a nice evening everyone and hope lots more news and updates this week 

 to all 
monkeymoo x


----------



## Wyxie

I would use Mummy and Daddy.  Or if you're not comfortable with that, you could maybe refer to yourselves as new or forever Mummy and Daddy.  What about "I'm going to be your Mummy"?

We just used Mummy and Daddy with Bladelet's.  When I first met Wyxling at 19 months ish it was a bit odd referring to us as Mummy and Daddy.  She was fine with hubby being Daddy, but very dubious about me being Mummy.  I'm sure that's what she'd called the foster carer previously, but I still think it was the right thing to do.

Good luck!  It's hard talking to a plastic album isn't it?

Wyxling woke me up this morning at 5:30 crying and calling for me.  That is very unlike her, but at least she is calling for me when she's upset.  We've had an OK day, she's been quite spaced at times, and we had a bit of a wobble before bed, but some good play too!  She's rejecting me quite a bit but I'm trying not to let her be too distant even if it means a bit of a struggle to keep her close.

We're up at the crack of dawn tomorrow, I have everything ready to go, hopefully taking Bladelet out for a bit tomorrow, maybe the park if the weather holds up OK.  

When do everyone else's intros start?  Some are this week I'm sure, tomorrow?


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## nicola jane

well intros are going really well cant believe how well, and the days are totally flying over!  cant wait until moving in day which is thursday    x


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## MummyElf

Hi all

Sounds like intros are going well for everyone! I'm loving reading the progress updates, it's exciting and I love the fact so many of us are doing the same thing at the same time all over England with our littlies!  

We start intros this week, cannot wait!!!! Am also slightly terrified   Me and DH being parents..... Really? Can this be real? I'll be pinching myself a lot this week I think!

 to everyone and best of luck to everyone this week! 

X


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## crazyspaniel

to everyone. 
Last day at work tomorrow then intros start...!
Feel v excited but to be honest also slightly apprehensive  
Early night tonight I think
CS xxx


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## purplexed

We start intros on Wednesday! Very excited and nervous and scared to bloody death!!


----------



## purplexed




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## MummyAuntieKatie

monkeymooo said:


> By the way, I need to thank you for your post from a while back that I found when researching buggies - I am also now the proud owner of the babyjogger city mini (with lovely discount from mothercare!) Have been trialling it this afternoon with a toy donkey in it - the dog wasn't keen on getting in!


Hoorah, I love a bargain! I can't wait to be able to use the buggy for real but am now going to see if I can get a dog to sit in it! lol!! FC asked if we had a car seat because she's looking forward to us doing lots of stuff with LO on our own, taking him out to the park etc, will be making sure the buggy is in the car too. 

OH traded in his Audi A4 convertible (not practical, 2 doors, 4 seats (just) and bad fuel economy) for a Mondeo! He's finally admitted it's time to grow up...  

Purplexed, 2 sleeps!!!!!!!!!


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## baby0684

Hi guys.

I am just witing on getting a panel date, but I wanted to ask about how you act when you 1st meet your child.

I am quite used to meeting children I dont know (I work in child care) and responding to them straight away. Im just a bit worried that FC/SW may think im OTT!

Also when do you get to find out with stuff FC is giving you?


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Hi Baby, we haven't got to this stage yet, we meet Bluebird next Thursday and I guess we will be completely lead by the FC and our boy.  Judging from what we know about him so far we'll not make too many advances but let him come to us once he feels comfortable.  I'l planning on playing it the same way I would with a rescue dog!  lol!  Give them space, let them come to you and don't rush things...


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## MummyElf

Hi Baby

I'd say you just go at the child's pace, slowly and softly and don't expect too much because you will be a stranger to start with. But the FC will love the fact that you understand children and know how to interact. It also depends on the child's age - older children who understand it a it better might be more forthcoming - two couples I know with older LOs got instant 'mummy' and 'daddy' and hugs. It's not to say the kids attached automatically but they understood that these new people were their parents and were thrilled about it! So sweet! 

The FC will tell you what LO is coming with when you meet her/them. Ours showed us LO's wardrobe and toys and told us what she is bringing - which isn't masses as she is under a year, but friends with older LOs have had car loads! If you are fortunate to have a lovely FC (which we are) they will keep in touch in the run up to contact for any questions you may have. We met our FC about 3 weeks before matching panel if the helps.


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## MummyElf

P.s. love Auntie K's comparison to a rescue dog - that's how we view it


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Spoke to FC again today, I called her to find out if she'd got the DVD working and to see how LO's 2 year check had gone. I could hear him giggling in the background and she put him on the phone saying "Bluebird, say hi to Mummy'!!!  OMG his giggle is infectious!  What a lovely first taste of our Bluebird!!


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Ahh, Auntie Katie that sounds amazing Not long now!!!

We are now officially booked in for panel in 3 and a bit weeks, we have the reports here now, just need to add our responses and 6 weeks today we are due to meet our LO!!!!!! So so so excited. I am wishing the weeks away but also conscious of how much we have to do!! This weekend coming is painting the nursery. Buggy, car seat and cot bed all decided on but we'll order buggy once we go to panel (just in case), they can get it in within a week, The only things I've bought so far are weaning bibs!!!! I'm too scared to buy anything else but think I need to bite the bullet soon otherwise its going to be a mad panic!!!! x


----------



## Wyxie

How exciting AuntieKatie, to hear his voice at last!

Baby, I would go in slowly and let l/o warm to you rather than diving in for a cuddle.  We took helium balloons when we met Wyxling (19 months) and Bladelet (10 months) and it worked really well both times, although in different ways.  It took a lot longer for Wyxling to come to us than Bladelet, but Wyxling had a much more difficult past and was older.  Wyxling hates it when people are overly familiar with her, everything has to be on her terms.  Bladelet is very settled in his foster placement and a baby, but I still think it was worth letting him make the first move.  These are our children and we're their parents, and we have often waited a bloomin' long time for them!  To us they're often already loved, but that won't be automatically reciprocated, certainly not straight away, and I think it makes sense to take things slowly.  I think even children too young to understand anything that is going on pick up on the intensity of the emotions of the situation.

I am tired, we were up at 4:30 this morning after a terrible night's sleep.

Bladelet was very grizzly today, he's poorly, and not much seemed to be able to raise a smile except Wyxling.  He doesn't really scream, he just makes the most pathetic cries, and the poor little chap really probably didn't need some near strangers in his house with him all day.  He coped with it pretty well overall.  Wyxling's pretty miffed with me, but Bladelet and Wyxling have really taken to each other.  He absolutely loves watching her play, she loves seeing him do new things, like dance to the music I was playing for him, and likes to join in.  It was wonderful to watch.  There's a definite connection between them which I wouldn't have believed possible given they've never met.  We took them to the park this morning and he was loving watching Wyxling in the swings waving to him, and even had a little go in one himself, and quite enjoyed it.  Kicking myself for forgetting the camera!  He isn't really eating though, wants the food, but clearly eating is hurting, he's teething and made up with cold.  We were there until just after lunch today, lunch was not a complete success, no sandwich eaten despite the best efforts of hubby and the foster carer, so f/c suggested giving him a bottle which I did.  He then managed to accomplish what Wyxling has so far not in the last almost 13 months, and was sick - all over me.  Finally, I feel like a real Mum.

Sadly, the trip to the park cut short when someone came to tell us we'd left the handbrake off when we parked on the very steep hill by the park, and it had slipped backwards down the hill running into his wife's car, and a wall.  Hubby was really upset, not helped by the fact we agreed a part exchange deal on the car yesterday which this was going to mess up, and he's got 10 years no claims, arrg.  We raced back to the car, Wyxling very distressed by this point, and found that a. the handbrake was fully engaged, it must have failed; and b. the term "smashed up" was a little excessive to describe the low speed bump.  It had caused some damage though.  Hubby flapped, he does not deal well with situations like this, especially as the bloke was a little confrontational.  Anyway we got it all sorted out, we did have protected no claims so the damage to next year's insurance premium won't be too horrendous - hubby has 10 years no claims - and the dealership we'd arrange to part exchange with have said they'll give us almost as much as they would without the extra damage on the car. 

Hubby was finally calmed down, he was very upset, and we managed to have a good afternoon with Wyxling, in fact she was very snuggly almost right through.  Bedtime was not awesome, which was expected, but Wyxling is doing a lot better than we'd expected at this stage.


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## monkeymooo

Ah that's lovely they are getting on so well-
What a nightmare with the car - not what you needed!

We were approved at MP for our LO today and start intros a week on Friday. Bloomin bonkers! ☺


----------



## Wyxie

Thinking about you today Craxyspaniel, have a wonderful day!


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## crazyspaniel

Thanks Wyxie xx
Hope you all enjoy today too


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## purplexed

Good luck crazy spaniel, I'm thinking about you today  
Monkey moo, congratulations!!! The next week will fly by, get out and enjoy some quality time with DH or just lay very still on the sofa for a whole day!!!


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Such exciting times for everyone!  Wyxie, what a mare about the car!! Glad it's not too awful and that Wyxling and Bladelet are getting on well!

Monkey, congratualtions!  You start Intros the day after us, much luck!

CS, looking forward to updates! xxx


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## Wyxie

Purplexed and CS, really hope your days have gone brilliantly.

I am exhausted, things are going well, Bladelet is wonderful, but very poorly and not eating, and it's making things tough for him.  It's been a tough day for everyone, including the f/c.  Wyxling is doing so well, I'm incredibly proud of her.  She's so kind to her little brother and he continues to be fascinated by her.  

I discovered today when trying to cheer Bladelet up a bit from his teething and poorly misery, that he loves having raspberries blown on the bottom of his feet.  Wyxling always has too and it was a bit of a random last ditch attempt to stop him crying.  It's the little things, sometimes that really get you.  Wyxling told Bladelet she loved him today, she's fascinated a little, and likes to stroke his hair.  She's struggling with sharing my time, but so far it's simply not occurred to her to be cross with Bladelet.  She's quite concerned when he's upset and really wants to be able to comfort him.  She's still doing best for making him smile, he just loves watching her do things.

Congratulations Monkeymoo, I missed your post yesterday, things are a bit mental at the moment.  When we're not with Bladelet I'm with Wyxling at home, and it's all been very tiring.

Total number of car crashes today: 0.

Still haven't managed to speak to Mum, tried texting today but no response.  She has however, managed to like something on my ******** page, so at least I know she's alive.

Hope everyone is well.


----------



## crazyspaniel

Had a fantastic first meeting with DD this afternoon!!
She recognised us and was calling us mummy and daddy although did also look quite confused at times  
She's full of fun and has the most contagious giggle  
Spent time blowing bubbles and squashing ourselves into her play house and bring served pretend chicken and cheese!
Ds gets to meet her tomorrow, she has been telling everyone she has a brother and remembers his name each time x

It's taken us 2 yrs to get here but the giggling bundle of energy is so worth it xx


Cs x


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## Wyxie

My post just got eaten.

Everything's going pretty well.  It's a very emotional, stressful, wonderful, upsetting and happy time all at once.

Wyxling is coping well, all things considered, better than we'd hoped.  Bladelet is wonderful.  They both are.

I'm tired!


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## crazyspaniel

Ah Wyxie I echo your post completely!!  
LO and ds got on well on their first meeting and we got to take her out today  

 to Purplexed, Auntie Katie, Lily Elf, monkeymoo, Greenie, Jules and any other adoption buddies I may have missed xx


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## Veryscared

Hello all.  I have just found this forum.  Can I join you please?  We have matching panel for then to be a 14 month old at the beginning of July.  Would love to know more others going through the same.    I don't quite get how this works as the threads seem to be really long but this one seemed to be the most relevant!!  Sending my best to you all.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Welcome Veryscared!  Just post away in reply to any posts you feel you want to respond to, or start a new one. It's a lovely forum, took me a while to get going, sitting back and reading a few different posts etc but everyone is wonderfully supportive!  

Congratulations on your match!


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## purplexed

Wyxie and Crazy S so glad it's going we'll with your LOs!

Very scared, welcome and good luck for your match next month.

Auntie K, this time next week!!!! 

Day 2 with our little man was magical, we had lots of hugs and giggles, we got to feed him his lunch and change his nappy. I think he's really taking to us as he only cried for his foster carer a few times.
Taking him out on our own tomorrow...people will see us and think we're a family...I keep pinching myself incase its all a dream


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## MummyElf

Perplexed that is lovely!!

Our intros now start Monday due to SS being their usual efficient selves   Don't mind toooo much as wouldn't have seen LO over the weekend anyway as FC is away, so makes sense to start Monday. The great thing is that loads of the contact will take place at our house as driving to / from is do-able so by the time LO moves in officially she'll be really comfortable with her new home. I'm really pleased because I think doing several days worth of naps in her new room should make her first night with us a bit easier (at least I hope so). 

Welcome veryscared! Hope you get all the reassurance you need here!

Wyxie when is moving in day? And everyone else? Hope everyone is doing brilliantly!  It's sooooooooo exciting! Am going to enjoy my last two lie-ins before a several year drought commences!!!! 

X


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## Wyxie

Just wanted to add this here, as a few people going through intros recently have commented on various things related to this. Since having Wyxling with us we have learned a huge amount about attachment. We tried before she was placed, but really it was only afterwards that we properly understood. I hope this doesn't sound preachy, but I also hope it makes the introductions and move easier for some people too.

Children with a secure attachment to their foster carer are much more likely to form a good attachment to their adopters. Effectively, they have learned how to do it right, and so you don't need to teach them that again, you just need to help them trust enough to attach securely again after the separation from the foster carers.

Children do not attach in to you in the space of days or weeks during the introductions. Social Services often talk about attachment transferring during the process. It's an old myth which every psychologist and psychiatrist dealing with attachment that I've read from or spoken to - and trust me, there have been a few now! - agrees is just rubbish. The introductions help the child see that the f/c approves of the move, it's a good thing, the f/c trusts you and therefore they should trust you. It gives you time to start building a bond with the child, which is really important because you will have to help them get through the loss of their f/c. It also allows you to learn their routine and how they are used to things being done. Keeping as much the same as possible after placement can make it much easier.

Children crying for their f/c when they are poorly, tired, fall over and hurt themselves etc during introductions is a _good thing_ from an attachment point of view. While it's hard, it's not a sign that you're doing something wrong. Sometimes it's best to just let them go back for a cuddle if that's what they want. You don't want them to feel like you're keeping them away.

When the child moves they will miss their f/c and you will gradually form your attachment with them over the coming months by filling that gap, and being the one whose always there for them. This loss can display in lots of different ways, and not always straight away. Don't think you're doing something wrong by not being able to fill that gap straight away. It takes months for a child to attach to a new carer, at best.

We're due to move Bladelet here on Monday. He witnessed his first good proper Wyxling tantrum today and was actually quite unphased. One of the older children in his foster placement has some quite spectacular tantrums at times, and at age 8 I imagine that's somewhat more impressive than my little Wyxling. Wyxling needed the blow out, we've been better since, and had a good afternoon and evening. Didn't have long with Bladelet today, just a little bit of play, half an hour of juggling screaming Wyxling while pushing balls round the room for Bladelet with my foot - which he seemed to quite like - and then a big snuggle with both of them - Bladelet was patting Wyxling after she calmed down and she was just very upset. Wyxling then pottered and played and talked to me while I gave Bladelet his bottle and got him to sleep, before we came back. Wyxling was very unsettled about my husband taking our car out tonight to pick the new one up and has been going on about it all day. Odd that this has unsettled her more than anything else so far in the introductions. Maybe it was just the straw that broke the camels back. She was tired at bedtime, wanted a big cuddle, gave me lots of kisses, snuggled her Tigger, and went straight to sleep.

Hope everyone is well, good luck to those on and starting intros.

Wyxie xx


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## Wyxie

The last two days have been wonderful at times, and incredibly hard at times. 

Wyxling is struggling, and I hate seeing her so upset.  She's getting agitated, then tantrums when things aren't exactly as she wants, and really, it's just random little stuff that even for a child too young to have perspective, is silly, then very upset when she's finished raging.  She's trying very hard with sharing after a big discussion about this, and she's trying really hard with Bladelet, she likes him being around and is really keen to help him and be with us.  She seems to be coping with the idea of a change in our family really well, but the stress of little routine things changing, the upheaval of us coming and going for the travelling, are just too much for her.  The introductions have just gone on too long for Wyxling, although Bladelet needed the extra time, and she needs things to settle down now and for us to get few the next few weeks and into our new routine.  I'm struggling to help her to regulate with the distraction of all Bladelet's toys.  On an up note, other than a very determined bite earlier, which was just sheer frustration, I've not had any attacks, and no serious attempts to hurt herself.

Bladelet is doing really well most of the time, but is clearly utterly fed up with being shoved in the car.  Luckily he's relatively un-phased by Wyxling's tantrums - we've had 3 today while he's been here and he hardly batted an eyelid - but when she's OK and playing with him or doing little things for him to copy, he loves it and giggles away.  We've both had lots of nice time with him, getting him to sleep fairly easily at nap times.  He's very snuggly when he's tired, curious and determined to explore, and very playful.  He's a really easy baby to entertain and keep smiling.  He's starting to look forward to seeing us and holds his arms out for a cuddle when we see him.  When I look back in the car and see those two pairs of huge brown eyes and two chuckling babies, it just feels wonderful.  I feel like we've done as much as can be achieved in the introductions now.

Almost time to bring him home and have our family complete.


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Well, I don't know how anyone else is feeling but I am actually starting to feel quite overwhelmed!  We meed Bluebird on Thursday and intros begin, we are going to be parents and it's really real, feeling a little sick with nerves! Excited too, but so nervous!

How are you ladies getting on with intros?  I'm really looking for examples of how your LO coped with the separation from FC, that's the bit I'm really worried about! xxx


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## Milly28

Hi everyone

can I join your thread...DH and I went to panel the other week and we were approved to become adopters, and we have already been link to a LO before panel and are due to go to MP next week. We are both so nervous it's unreal and we are both worrying if we get a no at panel as we have grown so attach to LO and can't imagine life without her even though we haven't met her yet.

We have got to put together a DVD for LO, has any one got any ideas or what did you do for your DVD?


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## MummyElf

We started contact today and it was amazing!!! LO is just adorable and her FC is brilliant, such a lovely lady. She has been so supportive. We did end up having a sneaky visit arranged with FC before contact officially started today and it made all the difference. LO was totally relaxed around us today, lots of fun, cuddles and smiles. On our sneak visit she was cautious and wanted to know where FC was all the time (which is how it should be) but today having met us already and seen our pics, she was engaging very quickly. She's very easy going and sweet natured and rarely grizzles -apparently when she blows she does it properly but we haven't seen that yet.

It was a wonderful few hours and we can't wait to see her again tomorrow


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## crazyspaniel

Hi everyone!

Intros all good so far   
Auntie K, LO not showing any signs of distress about separation from fc but I'm sure that will come when she is home and reality kicks in...
LilyElf, that sounds lovely, enjoy the rest of intros xx

Exhausted now, mostly from the travelling and trying to do everything at home and keep ds happy too... Can't wait to get her home and try to get back to our version of 'normal'  

CS xxx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Hi Milly, welcome!  We did a DVD, felt a couple of eejits for sure! lol... We started out the front and DH talked to the camera saying 'Hi Bluebird, I'm daddy and I'm going to show you your house' then he showed the cars, the outside of the house, the front door etc.. Cut to him showing the hall and dining room then cut to me showing the kitchen dog room and garden... We took it in turns to do this with the whole house, not all the bedrooms as we thought that would be too much but we showed our bedroom, bathroom, his room, his bathroom etc and the dogs playing in the garden.  Then we took it in turns to read a story to him, sat in his bedroom.  We also, upstairs, had soft toy spaniels in shot in each room which we then sent with the DVD to the FC, she said he does hold them up to his ear when he's tired but he's not really a soft toy child, however he'll be able to relate them to the DVD so I hope that will help!  

Lily, I'm so pleased you've got a great FC, I think we're going to like ours too and it's going to help so much!!! Good luck for today.  Amazing how many of us are at Intros all at the same time or in close succession! 

CS, thanks for the info, I think I can cope with it when it happens later on, it's if he just doesn't want to come home with us I'll worry about.   Such a hard time for a LO! Looking forward to hearing your 'coming home' stories if you get time to post xxx

Well, 2 sleeps but we feel better now as we have a plan to work to, it makes us both feel more settled as we aren't walking into the unknown.. Mind you, they were cutting it fine! lol


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## crazyspaniel

Have a fantastic day tomorrow AuntieKatie   
Xx


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## Lizard39

Just popping in to say have a wonderful day tomorrow AuntieKatie with Bluebird. You really should be 'Mummy Katie' now


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## purplexed

Good luck Auntie Katie, hope everything goes well for you today!

So pleased to hear intros are going well for everyone else and sorry to hear that wyxling is struggling wyxie.

Our little man is home at last. We picked him up from his foster home this morning and have had a lovely day playing. He fell asleep at 7 pm but as predicted I can't sleep a wink. I keep checking the baby alarm and going to look at him in his cot. Can't believe he's really there at last! So wonderful!!


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## monkeymooo

Hi all! I've been away on a long weekend to Ireland which has been a good distraction to stop me frantically worrying over every possible scenario of the rest of our lives! We meet LO tomorrow. Eeek! Can't actually believe it!

Auntiekatie- Good luck today! If you can, let us know how you get on! Like you, I have been feeling very overwhelmed about the whole thing, just trying to go with the flow!

Purplexed - ahh you sound so happy, how amazing it must be to have LO home. I hope you got some sleep!

Wyxie, crazy, Lily I hope your intros continue to go well!

Welcome veryscared and milly, congrats on your matches!

I've realised that it feels like tomorrow I start a new job, an amazing job that I have wanted for so many years, with a two week induction/ handover and with DH by my side all the way! Doesn't sound too scary when I think of it like that!


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## Wyxie

Monkeymoo I hope today went really really well.

I've been a bit out of it for the last few days, and trying to chill tonight.

Great news to veryscared and milly, good luck with panel.  

Purplexed I read your post on the other thread.  It's early days, too soon for l/o to be forming an attachment.  A good relationship is something to build on.  Often children display strange behaviours with strangers just after placement because they're so confused.  Try to just focus on your family, make sure you're the one meeting lo's needs - for affection and play and care.  It's hard sometimes when these things happen but it's a long journey and you're making a fantastic start from the sounds of things.  Try not to be too upset!

We're doing OK, all things considered!


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## monkeymooo

Wyxie, glad to hear you're doing ok, hope you manage to relax a bit when you can!

So today we met our son...we rang the bell and we could hear FC saying who's this?! And she opened the door with him in her arms. He looked at us with his big beautiful eyes and I think he was trying to figure out how we'd jumped out of his DVD/ photo album! He was a little shy at first and to take the pressure off I thought I'd say hello to the dog - then LO came running over and gave the dog a 'heavy pat' shall we say!....touch of jealousy maybe ?!  

We then produced our transition toy 'which we'd totally forgotton about until that moment (doh!)
And he really perked up! After some play with the toy he took my hand to show me the kitchen and through to the garden - amazing feeling!

Then he took me to trampoline and we had a bounce together and while on there reached
Up to be picked up - so I got my first cuddle.
Then we fed the fish, and Dh played aeroplanes, and we
Played with helium balloons and his farm and his hobby horse, ride on cars, brushed his teeth and danced in the kitchen to the various doorbell chimes...omg can't believe how much we did considering it was only 45 mins
And we were told to keep it all low key....but it was all led by him, he is such a funny, cheeky, happy little chap!

So...bring on tomorrow! What a strange, overwhelming, exhilarating, amazing experience! X


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## monkeymooo

Oops written yesterday but posted today due to tired user error !


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## MummyElf

Sounds like everyone is getting on well! Just popping in whilst LO naps upstairs in her cot in our house - we are still doing contact and she moves in next week. We've totally landed on our feet as she is a very, very easygoing baby and her only carer has been her FC whom I cannot speak highly of enough. She is a wonderful lady. Our SW said if her kids were being looked after, our FC is who she would want, and I concur. We are bonding incredibly well and she seems to love being with us. The only thing that really upsets her is bath time at ours so we will bath her in our butler sink for a bit as she's so tiny. She loves bathing with her FC and we got toys etc but a new bathroom is clealy scary, even though she's very happy with every other part of the house and even likes our dogs and they her! I thought she might cry when they barked very briefly at a noise but she didn't bat an eyelid.

Day 6 and all going brilliantly. We are exhausted though as the travel to and from twice a days adds up to 4 hours+ . I think that's the most tiring bit, getting up early and driving there etc then driving back.

Will be delighted when she moves in early next week  

How is everyone else getting along?


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Hugs to all you lovely matched up, loved up ladies!  We're going great guns, but I'm waiting for it to get harder... So far we are bonding well and it's only been 3 days, he seems to really like having us around.. See more on the diary.

Monkey, wow, what a lovely first day!! Lily, so glad the dogs were ok in the mix!  Wyxie, hope today is more settled, you need 2 pairs of hands!!! Purple how are you getting on now? xxx


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## monkeymooo

Hi ladies



AuntieKatie said:


> Hugs to all you lovely matched up, loved up ladies!


I love that Auntie Katie - i am most definitely loved up! Sound like things are going brilliantly for you - what a good sign that LO was upset when you left (hard though I'm sure ) It made me laugh when you mentioned wondered why you were asked permission to give LO something - our FC keeps saying things like 'mummy will help you' and i have been just sitting there, blankly, then suddenly realise she means me and jump in to action!

Lily, sounds great, I'm sure it is extra exhausting with all that travel time though - ours is 45 mins and that feels long enough! Not long til she's home for good though, how exciting! Are you bringing much of her things from FCs or have you had to buy quite a bit?

Purplexed I hope things are better since the SW visit, I've heard that these visits can be quite unsettling at any age, and so confusing for LOs.

Wyxie, hope today was a good day, I guess it's a case of one day at a time and reminding yourself it is such early days and a massive change for everyone 

Mily, is matching panel next week? good luck if so!

CrazyS hope all going well, is LO home yet? Sorry I need to catch up on the other threads but this one seems to be the only one I can manage at the mo!

Day 2 for us today and a bit more relaxed without SW there...LO social worker and FCs don't get on too well unfortunately and there was a definite atmosphere yesterday!

LO gave us a little smile when we arrived and was engaging and happy pottering around with us as he was yesterday. The FC have an amazing house with a massive garden which is just brilliant as it's a lovely place to spend time, and so much for us to explore with LO. He loves being outside, and today he grabbed my hand, shouted 'OUT!' and off we went! DH and I kicked a ball around with him (and DH declared him left footed!) and we went on the trampoline again. My favourite part of today was when we were sitting on the grass and LO came and sat on my lap and we looked through my photos, with me asking 'who's that?' and pointed to one of DH and he said 'DADDY!' so emosh! such a clever little chap, I know he probably doesn't really understand the significance of Daddy, it could be any name I suppose, but got me teared up anyway! (also was so lovely that he sat so calmly and cuddly with me for a little while, such a special moment!)

One thing I'm a bit unsure of at the moment is FC have asked if 'off the record' they can invite various family members around to meet us...I think alot of the family are close to LO and want to see he is going to good home...in theory I think..OK, but I know SWs have said it should all be low key and just focussed on us...have any others experienced this?

Also...discipline....finding this a bit weird....when LO is acting up, I find FC is encouraging me to tell him off, but I feel that since only day 2 I just want to focus on getting to know him...it sort of feels like telling off a friend's child when I'm at their house...I guess it's such a strange situation, it's hard to know the best way...but I kind of feel that unless LO is going to hurt himself or others I don't want to this special early time with him all about saying 'NO' and enforcing FC rules...?!

Anyway, overall going great, and enjoying a cheeky Cider tonight since got a nice lie in tomorrow! We were in IKEa this afternoon, and our house if now officially brightened up ALOT! Lime green seems to be a big theme! love it! 
xx


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## Wyxie

monkeymoo, glad things are going well.  You don't have to really tell him off to let him know that what he's doing isn't OK with you either.  What about trying gently but firmly stopping him doing whatever, saying something like "oh, no, we don't do x" and then quickly moving on to something else to distract him.  If he's generally is a good mood with you it may help to start doing this now rather than suddenly introducing rules at some point in the future.

I don't tend to make a big deal of little things with Wyxling, and yes she'll normally do them quite a few times over the space of some time with that sort of approach, but they all go in the end.  

Depends on the child of course.

Lily our travel time was about 4 hour a day too once we were doing two trips each way, one day 6 with bad traffic going up the M1 on a Friday evening at rush hour!

Today was pretty horrific at times, but some good times too.  Started very early with sick everywhere, all dried up from last night.  Wyxling was sick in her sleep and her bed and room and toys in the bed were in a horrific state when hubby got her up - and he failed to notice somehow!  It was only when I smelled her in the bathroom I realised someone had been sick, and went in her room to check it out.  He then put all the bedding and toys in the washing machine (while I bathed Wyxling) without shaking out the chunks first so I had to get it out after the first wash, shake it in the garden, clean the seal on the washing machine, and rewash.  Men!

Tbh, he's been pretty good today.  Things have been tough at times, very torn between Bladelet and Wyxling a lot of the time, and hubby struggling because both of them want me and in Bladelet's case will only really calm for me, and Wyxling's only really play up for me.  Wyxling had a really big blow up at bedtime, which was much needed tbh, then we had a talk.  She's expressing herself a little.  She said she wants Mummy and Daddy back which I can understand, Bladelet needed a lot from me today.  She also then started asking about her and Bladelet's tummy mummy.  That really surprised me as it's not a phrase I use with her a lot, and generally she's not said much about bm or the idea of being adopted when I've talked about it.  Really wish I had some life story work to go through with her at the moment, but still no sign of it.

Anyway, it was a tough one, but we also had some glimpses of how things could be if our kids weren't in such a mess right now.  We sat down, played some games, both of them laughing and Wyxling cooperating.

Overall a tough day though, and I need an early night because Bladelet went off very early, and I'm guessing an early morning will follow.  

Tomorrow I'm going swimming.  Hubby with bring Bladelet and Wyxling up later, Wyxling for a swim, and Bladelet to watch.  I'm not giving up exercise for having children, because I really need my own health and that's part of keeping me sane quite honestly.  I feel very defensive about it though because I don't seem to have enough time for either child at the moment, so any taken away, makes me feel bad.  Plus Wyxling guilt trips me horrendously about the run and two swims I have every week.  It used to be three swims but I cut one out for more weekend time with them.  Tomorrow morning I'm planning on pushing myself, I really need a good workout to make myself feel better.  Running along pushing buggy and buggy board, hard work though it is, doesn't really leave the same feeling as I'm then knackered, sweaty, and still have two kids to deal with, and no time for a shower. 

Yesterday my M-I-L started talking to me about Wimbledon.  I asked her not to because I hadn't seen it and didn't know results.  She said "oh, I just assumed as your at home now you'd be watching it".  Is she out of her f***ing mind?  That and the "all kids do that" comment every time I say anything is making me really, seriously, not want to speak to her.  I'm so fed up of it.  I really don't like talking to her much about our kids any more at all, I've told hubby I don't want to discuss much in the way of details with them, but they ring and ask a lot and I also won't lie.  In addition, if I tell her all is sunny and great and both our children are absolutely fine she'll be knocking on my door and behaving completely inappropriately with both of them.

Grizzle grumble.

Actually, I think today classed as an OK day, but one I was very glad my husband was at home for.  Both babies had their good moments and we had a nice trip to the park.  We just also had a lot we needed to get done which is hard for them.

Next week he's working three days.  I will have everything prepared and ready to go, and hope Wyxling is less explosive.  We've only had 4 kick offs today, but they've been pretty spectacular.  Right down to shoving her hands in her bum because I'd been changing her and then attempting to ram them in my mouth and eyes.  Delightful!  She did, at least, give me an unprompted sorry afterwards, which is almost unheard of.


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## MummyElf

Wyxie it sounds like you have your hands full!!

Sounds like you're keeping a sense of humour though, and let's be honest, what else can you do?! The sick and chunks thing made me both turn green and laugh at the same time! Respect for the travel - must have been hard when you still had Wyxling to care for - we've been hitting the hay straight after the wine! But baby no.2 is now in the world and all things being equal will be placed with us in the coming months, so then I'm really going to know tired! 

Monkey moo, Auntie Katie....all very exciting! Monkey do what YOU feel comfy with - this is YOUR contact not about LO's FC's family. We were warned about a certain person turning up to 'check us out'. I wasn't impressed when this person did and my hackles were up, but in the end I allowed them to engage with me to check me out and it was fine. After all the SS checks and visits, prods and pokes, I wasn't up for any more spotlight treatment! We do have the firm approval of a LO in our FC's care who is an older child and that I don't mind, this particular child is adorable and I pray she finds a placement. If only we could but we will have our hands full!

X


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## crazyspaniel

Glad to hear everyone is doing so well xx

Now on day 13 of intros ...... 
Generally all is going well although I'm sure LO is becoming more confused as time goes on. LO and ds are getting on well although I appreciate this may change when ( ) we move to a 24/7 sibling relationship!

The travelling and emotional stress of our situation is taking its toll a bit but we just have to keep our eyes on the prize, our lovely LO coming home xx

 to everyone 
Cs xxx


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## katie c

<tentively tiptoes back in>

sorry for lack of personals, this thread has moved on a bit since i last posted!  it goes without saying i wish everyone well with their intros etc.

well, after a second cancelled panel and finally getting to see a paediatrician (which i'm 100% convinced i've spelt wrong) it looks like things aren't as bad as we feared and we may be going ahead after all 

so any spare vibes you have, please chuck them our way. we have waited so long, a year since we were apporved, three years since we started the process. we just need a break!

the paed said our child was 'adorable' and 'a little poppet'  admittedly they may say that about every kid they see


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi everyone.

I haven't been on for a while and there's lots to catch up on which I will do later with a cup of tea I hope you are all well, lots of lovely news on intros and LOs coming home. 

Katie, I have everything crossed for you. This has certainly been a long time coming so you are due some luck.....positive vibes heading your way x 

AFU, we go to MP next week so its been a decorating frenzy in our house. Room pained, curtains hung, just waiting on cotbed and carpet and then I'll get to work on my wall sticker project I am snuggling up with a cuddly rabbit that we'll hand over with Tomy Talking album. We bought a few clothes over the weekend as well as bits and bobs and have a buggy on hold so its all coming together. SW emailed today to tell us that LO took her first steps yesterday at the grand age of 10 months!!!!! We are so excited but a scene from the film 'life as we know it' came into my head where he pushes her over to stop her walking and I found myself thinking 'just push her over so she waits until we meet her'!!!! Completely wrong and made me feel like a very bad mummy-to-be. Think its certainly time that we invest in some stair gates though!!!!!!! We have our intro plan and they have brought it all forward so I get to spend my birthday with her!!!!!!!

Anyway, enough of me rambling on. Take care my lovelies xxx


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## Wyxie

Hope everyone is well.

KatieC, I'm glad it looks like things are moving again, when's your next panel date?

Greenie, I hope you're enjoying your preparations and good luck with mp next week.

CS, keeping everything crossed for you that you get it all sorted out soon, and your lo home where she belongs.  

We're doing OK all things considered, don't want to keep cross posting all the time, so see diary for details if interested!

Hope everyone else is well and enjoying their new families.

Wyxie xx


----------



## MummyElf

Katie -Glad things are moving forward for you!

Crazy - you must about to bring LO home if you haven't already?

Sending hugs to everyone, rushing a bit as LO is about to wake from her nap!

She moved in yesterday and last night was her first night with us. She slept right through without waking! What a star! She does sleep really well!

Now up again so better sign off!


----------



## Veryscared

How wonderful to find a few minutes to log onto here and see so many of you with good news.  Well done to everyone especially those in intros right now and heading for placement day.  Also thinking of those who have had the longest wait.  We all know how hard it is and how many hurdles and frustrations there are but I am really aware that some people have had particularly long, hard times.  Hope it is or becomes all worth it.  We are heading for MP on Monday with intros starting the same week if all is well.  Would LOVE to know if any of you ladies live locally to me.  Will try to make some time to PM in a while so once we are all settled we know if there is anyone else nearby who is at the same stage (a bit like NCT friends) and going through slightly similar things nearby.  Proud of you all and don't even know you!!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Where abouts are you?  We are in the South West of England. x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Us too!!!! We could all have a meet up x


----------



## Veryscared

We are in the South East of England.  Maybe if people can see the broad geography, we could PM to home it down a bit when someone is anywhere near without compromising security.


----------



## MummyElf

Also in the south west


----------



## pnkrobin

Matching panel early August. Potentially intros later in August. Can't believe we are so near to meeting DS. Did you ever think - like us - it would NEVER happen?


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Congrats pnkrobin, yes we felt very much like that so have thoroughly enjoyed spending the day creating a masterpiece (for me) of a wall sticker all ready for the talking album for  matching panel on Friday.

Enjoy these next few weeks as life is about to change x


----------



## monkeymooo

Greenie yay not long to go now! How are you feeling?

Crazy spaniel, I hope you're doing ok, I think I saw things should be sorted early next week? You must be exhausted but hang in there!

Pnkrobin congrats on MP date, yes I totally thought maybe this would never happen, but it is most definitely happening now!

Auntie K glad your dogs and LO get on well! Apart from the Choc cake thief!

Wxyie hope you're all doing ok and taking one day at a time.

Lo visited us for the first time today- we were pretty on edge all morning, not helped when the smoke alarm started beeping 10 mins before his arrival time - DH couldn't stop it and I was saying maybe we'll have to pretend its a birdie to LO or something! Luckily it decided to stop soon after his arrival!

Was all just great, he loved exploring our house with FC and looking at all the photos from the last week I'd dotted around at his eye level. So hot today so we played under the sun shade with a water table and we had a great splash! Our dog was relatively well behaved ( only stole a few toys...) and LO was great with him. So gentle and they were just happy to potter around together.
Loved it.
We get him on his own for a few hours tomorrow, hurrah!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Pnkrobin, great news! That's not long at all!!

CS, how's it going honey?? 

Good luck Greenie!! 

Monkeymoo, so pleased things went well yesterday!!  We have Bluebird again today, not sure what we'll do, unfortunately Norty Spaniel No.2 isn't well, worried he might have a blockage (he tends to pick stuff up, such as bits of tennis ball, on walks and has been sick a few times) so guess DH will take him to the vet while I pick up LO and maybe spend a quiet day around the house.  Not going to take him back too late as think FC might like to give him his dinner tonight, as it'll be their last night together, although I reckon she'll be glad he's staying with us from Monday as he's now very unsettled at night.


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Monkey and auntie Kate, sounds like intros are going really well hope your dog is ok. Can i ask what photos you put in talking album? LO's room, what about our cat? Garden? Outside of house? Had in mind one of us to start and end, one of each of us in Los room and then poss cat in garden but still another 3 needed. X


----------



## monkeymooo

Hi greenie, we used a cuddly monkey in our photos and we had mummy daddy and monkey outside the house, monkey sitting on the stairs to show the hallway
Our dog and DH and monkey in the sitting room, daddy and monkey eating their sugar puffs in the kitchin (LO favourite brekkie!), then mummy in bathroom with monkey and daddy putting monky to bed! I think also a couple of the garden as he loves being outside too.

It was great cos when LO came to ours yesterday, we went through the book and matched up all the pictures and he loves it! He put monky in his bed/ sitting in the stairs like he was in the photos.

Auntie Katie, aw hop your doggie's ok, wow bluebird home for good tomorrow! I think our intros must be a bit longer than yours as LO due to come home Thurs. our first time with him on our own at ours today eeek! X


----------



## MummyElf

Oh dear Auntie Katie - hope spaniel gets well soon! Mine are often little rascals too....we've discovered that our LO is much like our dogs in that everything new goes in thr mouth! But I guess that's being 11 months and teething for you!! I hope tomorrow goes really, really well! After our LO moved in early last week we just crashed for a couple of days to try to re-charge....contact really wipes you out, we were shattered! Keeping everything crossed for Bluebird's first night with you xx

It's lovely to hear how everyone is getting on. DH goes back to work tomorrow and I admit I'm a bit scared!! Suddenly I'll be on my own with her   I'm sure we'll get into a rhythm quickly and all will be ok but it is a daunting thought!

Good Luck to everyone for what the next week will bring xx


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Just a quickie, Spanner No.2 is fine, home now after being opened up at the vet to remove a whole baby apple from his intestines!!!    We're used to blockages, he used to eat tennis balls.... He's sleeping off the anaesthetic!


----------



## monkeymooo

Ah glad your dog's ok ak! Poor pup! Hope tomorrow goes ok! 
Eek lily good luck on your own tomoz, aure youll be fine - I'm already panicking cos DH has dentist appt next week! 

Today was first day on our own with LO at home and it was amazing, so much fun, and good some great videos of him giggling at daddy doing his silly dancing! He is such a good audience, we both think we are totally hilarious!

We have a review meeting tomorrow, then another couple full days at ours before he comes home!

He is an amazing little boy and we really feel like this was maybe just always meant to be!


----------



## crazyspaniel

After 20 long days of intros LO is home and fast asleep upstairs    
Thanks to everyone for your support and well wishes xx
Cs xxx


----------



## monkeymooo

Horray CrazyS! Such good news   !!!


----------



## MummyAuntieKatie

Just a real quickie, we had a bit of an unsettled night, BB would NOT go to sleep, he won't go up to his room, has always (almost always) been allowed to fall asleep on the sofa with a bottle but last night not only would he not fall asleep, he's decided he doesn't want bottles! At 10pm he pretty much passed out. He woke up again at 12:30 ish but I shushed him back to sleep in his bed and then he was up and ready to go at 5:45...  One thing we are going to have to solve is a bedtime routine, I don't function without sleep, it makes me really grumpy.  I guess it doesn't help that I also have a raging sore throat.  

There I go, moaning already and he's only been home 5 minutes!  He's lovely, he ate his dinner really well after we ignored the minor strop he was trying to chuck.  Chomped into chicken, mushrooms and chorizo with pasta no problem.


----------



## monkeymooo

AK oh dear, not a great first night then  Sounds like you've got a challenge on your hands but you are more than up to it I'm sure! That's great that dinner went well - focus on positives! ( I hope I can follow my own advice in weeks to come!) we gave LO his first taste of chorizo yesterday and he chomped it down!

I have also had bad sore throat last few days, I've heard it's really common for everyone to get a bit poorly what with all the intensity of intros!

We picked up LO at 9am today  and he's with us all day. I was nervous putting him down for his nap but followed FC advice of gentle/ firm/ swift exit approach and it worked a treat! DH and I have been sitting listening to him breathing, what a couple of saddos!

The two journeys a day to FC are becoming v tiring, and last night for the first time when we dropped him off he was clingy and was pulling to come in our car, which felt good! Can't wait to get him home now! 2 more days!

How's everyone else doing?


----------



## MummyElf

Crazy - great news! What a long haul for you both! So pleased LO is home at last.

AuntieKatie I'm sure you will nail the bedtime routine thing, but seriously not fun for you and you have my sympathy! I'm awful on no sleep.

The night before we were due to bring LO home I got food poisoning! V&D every 20 minutes (at the same time!). It made our first few days hard as DH had to do a lot given I was weak, tired and feeling horribly nauseous for a few days afterwards. We didn't tell anyone in case they delayed her homecoming!  I've never had food poisoning and we're guessing that was it although not sure from what as diet that day was very uneventful and we ate the same food....we suspect lunchtime's boiled egg.

We're doing ok but I am finding the adjustment to full time mummy to a clingy baby quite hard, but starting to get used to it! She's into everything and anything and I have to watch her every second. She's a poppet, but I will be honest and say that it isn't all sunshine and lollipops!

Xx


----------



## MummyElf

P.s. Also do the swift exit nap thing monkey moo and it works a treat! She never grizzles and is very good about naps and bedtimes x


----------



## monkeymooo

Ergh Lilyelf that must have been horrible, poor you!  AK hope you're feeling OK and tonight goes better for you.

We're currently trying to decide what to do with LO milk at bedtime situ!  FC used to send him to bed with a bottle of milk but stopped that about a month ago and he's been fine with a bottle and story and then down just with dummy...however, since intros started and he's been a bit grizzly she's been sending him to bed with bottle again, and then putting a bottle of juice in when they go to bed so he finds it in night if he wakes up....not sure what we should do.  I would prefer we give him bottle before bed, and go to him to comfort him / give juice in night if necessary in night, but want to do whatever is going to make him feel more settled and able to sleep.  Any advice?  I'm sure I've seen a thread about milk at bedtimes somewhere else so will have a looksie!

2 more days til LO home, can't quite believe it!  Things are about to get seriously different around here!!  DH looked in the fridge earlier and said...'this isn't my fridge....what is going on!!'


----------



## katie c

I reckon I'd go for a bottle of milk before bed, why not?  So he's 'grown out' of it, but he's going to pretty unsettled and will need [pyschobabble]reparenting[/pyschobabble]. Sounds like a good way to bond to me 

I personally wouldn't leave juice in a bottle though, but that's because my friend is a dentist and evangelical about it, its really bad for their teeth apparently. Water would be fine, appreciate its not what he's used to and you're supposed to keep a routine but you're mum now, and keeping a routine doesn't mean keeping bad habits IMO


----------



## MummyElf

I binned juice the minute LO came home which is what the FC gave her. She's on water only and doesn't mind. Gotta think about those little toothy pegs!    I've also changed her diet a fair bit because it doesn't feel right giving her junk at almost one year old and she's eating like a machine so clearly doesn't mind that either! Plus I love cooking so why not


----------



## katie c

LilyElf said:


> I binned juice the minute LO came home which is what the FC gave her. She's on water only and doesn't mind. Gotta think about those little toothy pegs!   I've also changed her diet a fair bit because it doesn't feel right giving her junk at almost one year old and she's eating like a machine so clearly doesn't mind that either! Plus I love cooking so why not


My dentist friend only lets her son have milk or water, she says loads of parents consider fruit juice a healthy option but it isn't. So many children come in with tooth cavities who haven't had pop or squash and their parents are mortified. The bottle thing is worse still as the juice gets directed into one part of the mouth and is concentrated on just a few teeth (or something.)

Our FC sounds like she doesn't give our LO a load of crap to eat thank goodness. She normally does mum and baby placements with young girls, and gives them an exercise where she gives them so much money(£15 I think) and tells them to feed the baby for a week, they tend to buy a load of jars, or milk, but run out of money to buy both.

She then shows them how they can buy those stew packs for about a quid (the ones that have a swede, a leek, a couple of carrots etc) and make enough food to feed the baby for a week! And it sounds like she's been feeding our boy this, and he doesn't like jarred food. Suits me, gonna save me a fortune.


----------



## Wyxie

We almost stopped juice for Wyxling.  Sugar free juice isn't too bad, really, other than they guzzle it like crazy because the sugar replacement makes their brains thing they've got sugar coming, and they like it, but actual fruit juice is terrible.  Wyxling used to get chocolate milk in her bottle, and was fed all sorts of horrible stuff, and lots of fruit juice.  She has tooth decay (had at 19 months when she came to us).  I let her have a little juice, she has her milk, and mostly she just has water.  We used to call it juice when she was younger because that's what she was used to, and she's adjusted.

Other thing I'm finding with Bladelet (who also had a lot of juice) is that they will guzzle juice all day and I'm constantly changing them, if they're allowed, but they drink water when they're thirsty.  I do a little drink of juice with dinner, and sometimes lunch, but other than that it's water and they drink when they're thirsty, plus milk of course.

Bladelet is starting to eat more stuff since coming here.  F/c had done a pretty good job with introducing healthy snacks, so he's quite open to different foods.  He seems to like most fruit (actual fruit, not pots etc) and will munch on cucumber or a celery stick if I need to give him something to keep him quiet.  He's tucking into his fake chilli this week (we often bulk cook at the weekend when busy, his has all the ingredients in ours, apart from the chillis, and just a teeny bit of spicing) with gusto.

Hope everything is going well for everyone.

I'm so knackered I don't even know what I'm writing from one sentence to the other atm.  Hubby is off tomorrow, but poorly, so I'm getting up to do (no doubt very early) morning schtuff, better hit the sack.

Enjoy being Mummies, and don't feel bad about feeling less than charitable towards your babies at times, it's only human.  The bond takes time, and the adjustment to full time motherhood of an already very real personality, take time!


----------



## Macgyver

Hi can I join, 


We have been chosen as a match for our littleone and waiting for mp date. Our sw is also aranging a meeting with lo FC.  Can't stop looking at lo pic and can't wait to bring him home.


X


----------



## MummyElf

Welcome on board mac! 

I'm feeling a lot more positive today...DH pointed out to me that we expect too much of each other and too much of LO right now and need to all accept each other. It's helped and I've stopped criticising myself and just got on with being a mummy including lots of silly dancing this morning which has put me in a good frame of mind. LO is playing with her toys in her play pen very busily and I'm sat just by her on the iPad! Happy days!

This morning ...drum roll....she grabbed the spoon at breakfast and has been feeding herself! Not sure when they start doing that but in retrospect she's been building up to it the last 2 days trying to grab the spoon, I thought she was just playing, but today I rolled with it and let her take it and LO and behold self-feeding began. She knows where her mouth is that's for sure! Weetabix though...sets like concrete doesn't it! Lucky for me my pooches are the floor cleaners and at my signal they dive in and clear the area!


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi all,

Hope all of you new Mummys are doing well and adjusting to life, I get goosebumps reading your posts. There is so much happening on here at the moment isn't there? We are off to MP on Friday and finally finished the talking album last night. It would have been done sooner but I just could not hold it together when recording our bit. I spent a good 30 mins on the floor rolling around laughing....DH ended up shouting at me to pull myself together which just made me laugh even more. Can I ask those of you who have recently been to MP how it was? I am getting myself into such a state. SW emailed us to say that she and LOs SW know this is a really good match and now we just need to convince panel we are LOs Mummy and Daddy. That made me feel better but just have that niggling feeling 'what if they say thanks but no thanks'? DH is really chilled about it but me...I'm a born worrier. Our approval panel was in and out in 20mins and that included our SW going in before us to do her bit but I'm guessing this will take longer? Argh I'm all of a dither and between that and packing up my classroom for adoption leave at the end of next week (fingers crossed), I really don't know what to do with myself.

Sorry for rambling on x


----------



## MummyElf

Hi Greenie

Our MP was fine. It felt more intense but I think that's because we knew what was at stake and whilst approval panel was the 'biggie' in many respects, once you've identified your LO you are desperate to hear that yes.

I know it's a cliche, but you really will be fine - nerves sharpen your focus, see them as a positive. It's very unusual for MP to say no - it does happen and there is a story on this board about it by keemjay I believe in the adoption stories section (which has a happy ending) - but it's rare. 

Our MP were extremely nice to us - they want the match too don't forget, children need homes - they need you! It isn't a test and as they said in ours 'they're are no correct or incorrect answers'.

Be yourself and you'll sail through   

X


----------



## Jules11

Hi everybody,

This is a really great thread and I'm so grateful for the chance to hear how intros are going for all of you.  I am particularly interested now because we got a great big YES at MP yesterday.   

MP was so much nicer than approval panel,  we really felt that they wanted us to do well.  We had 3 questions, all about why this is the right match and how we can support this little girl.  We were in and out in 20 mins.  

So we meet our daughter     on 22nd July.  For the first time since we entered planet adoption I feel like we are really going to have our little girl.  I can't stop smiling.  Feel like I could tell everybody how fabulous our LO is.  We showed our BS the photo's and DVD of LO,  he just kept saying "she is so adorable"  very big smile on his face when he said "that's my little sister".  I'm already so proud of my children   

I actually finish work next thursday.  So excited about our future.

Good luck everybody, Isn't adoption great. (Never imagined actually saying that  )

Jules xx


----------



## Wyxie

Congratulations Jules, that's lovely news.  

Good luck at panel Greeniebop.

I hope everyone else is doing well.  Things are bloody hard work in our house at the moment, but I hope they're going in the right direction.  Wyxling is struggling, it's nothing new, but it's still so hard to watch her sometimes, and not be able to get a real smile out of her.  Bladelet is doing well in the circumstances.  Both of them are wonderful, in their own very different ways.  More details in diary.

Wyxie xx


----------



## monkeymooo

Gertie, thanks so much for posting the link, that's v kind of you.
We're pretty much decided to bottle before bed with story and snuggles and then bed with dummy (as he is used to this) and thinking maybe water in bottle to go down with so at least it's a bit familiar as he's used to bottle in bed - at least for early days...sound ok? Blimey it's hard making all these decisions with our heads all over the place - and he's not even home yet!!!

Congrats Jules!

Greeniebop MP was fine for us - we found we knew what to expect broadly speaking having been to AP and it really wasn't that much different - just felt a bit more ...emotional cos real LO involved if you see what I mean.

Lily what a moment to remember spoon day! That's great advice from your DH I will try to remember not to expect too much from us all in the next few days!

So tomorrow we pick up LO at 9.30 and bring him home....for good.

Omg.
X


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Good luck monkey moo.

Thanks for your advise ladies x


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi all, we got a yes at MP on Friday  just come back from a lovely break and now it's all systems go to meet our gorgeous little girl on the 25th. So so so happy and excited. I have 5 more days of work and then I will be a full time mummy for the next year I never thought those words would come out of my mouth! 

Enjoy the sun x


----------



## Jules11

Geenie huge congrats,  

Have you ever felt so good.  I finish work on Thursday.    

I just can't stop thinking about our LO.  I can't sleep, its like the night before xmas,  I'm just so excited.

We are enjoying the lovely weather and have been out walking lots, we keep talking about having our walks with a pram  

Counting the sleeps until we meet her, only 8 sleeps to go.

Jules xx


----------



## pnkrobin

Well done everyone who got big yes's at MP. Ours is in a couple of weeks away and we have just spent a weekend doing a photo book and dvd for our LO. We did allow ourselves to buy a few little essentials (like colouring pens and stickers) for our LO and never noticed_ quite_ how much stuff is out there for little people who are our LO's age. 
It's starting to be believable.


----------



## katie c

Hi ladies. We finally have good news! 

We were unanimously recommended at marching panel today. Subject to the ratification which can take two to three weeks (our LA doesn't like to rush anything   ) and then surprise surprise! SWs holidays (!), we are provisionally pencilled in to meet him 23 Aug   

Gutted we aren't going to be there for his first birthday but that's planet adoption for you. Bloody slow coaches.

I am not popping the champagne corks until we do get ratification, but what could possibly go wrong now? I am finally finally going to be a mum...I can't believe it.


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Woo hoo Katie congrats x


----------



## oliver222

congrats Katie that's fantastic news


----------



## MummyElf

Brilliant news Katie! Congratulations! My LO (pink) is one and it's been amazing teaching her stuff. She's learned to clap and high five this week and when I was dancing this morning to the radio whilst feeding her she joined in   She is also in cahoots with the dogs and started feeding her favourite (who never leaves her side). And you get all the snuggly baby cuddles


----------



## Wyxie

Congratulations, at last!


----------



## crazyspaniel

Fabulous news katiec xxx


----------



## katie c

Thanks all! So much good news on this thread isn't there?   

We got our proposed intros schedule today, looks like he will be moving in with us, if all goes well, in the first week of September   

I just want to get on with it all now, the waiting for ratification and the holidays thing is sooooooo frustrating. Amazing how different the LAs are isn't it? Looking at everyone else's experiences it seems ours is proper slow!

We went to Ikea today, not sure whether to just get cheap and cheerful nursery furniture, or get something made he can use when he's older too. I don't even know what to buy other than a cot! Chest of drawers? Bookcase? One of those units with plastic boxes that slot in like drawers?

We had a look in Mamas and Papas too, the furniture there so just gorgeous, but **** me. How much?   

We got the Tomy photo album thing, it'd be nice to have a picture of his room to go in it!


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi all,

How is everyone? We have 3 more sleeps until we meet our little girl. Finishing work on Friday was far emotional than I had thought it would be. I think we are pretty much ready in terms of the fact that we can transport her around and she has somewhere to sleep but still feeling very unprepared!!!! Off to get my hair done today as think it may be a while before I even think about that again

Have a great day x


----------



## monkeymooo

Greenie how exciting, not long now  enjoy your haircut!

Katie, I remember when we first saw our into schedule, made it all seem very real! Enjoy your shopping/ nursery planning! We kept ours pretty basic decor wise as we wanted to find out more about LO first- turns out that diggers and tractors and planes rule so wall stickers have now been ordered! 

Granny and grandad are visiting this afternoon, is quite exciting! We've shown him some pics and talked about them the last couple of days, so will be interesting to see how he reacts! 

Sw said to intro people slowly, and always at our house so not too stimulating and he's on his home turf- looking forward to seeing other people! 

Hope everyone else is doing ok!
Xxx


----------



## MummyElf

That's quite interesting monkey as we've done the opposite keeping our home 'off limits' so LO feels its hers. We've met people at the local parks and their own homes. The reason we did this was because we went to the FCs home as strangers, gave LO attention, then next thing she knew we were her parents...we thought it may worry her if othe couples came to our home also giving her attention. It's been 3 weeks now so we'll start letting people round again as of next week.

Let us know how the grandparents visit goes! If they're anything like mind and DH's parents they'll turn to a big heap of mush! It's so lovely showing off LO for the first time   

Our LO is doing great. We had a really full weekend so enjoying a quiet day today at home. I'm shattered so she must be! She's developed a chesty cough which other children also seem to have and this has ruined her nap today as the coughing wakes her....not looking forward to tonight as imagine we'll hear coughs, followed by a small wail, then her falling back to sleep quite a lot! She's only one so I think the only thing we can give her is calpol.


----------



## Doofuz

Hello, I'm new in here as we have just been linked with a tiny baby girl and we have MP next month. Looking forward to reading how you all get on, hopefully the time will fly by


----------



## peacelily

Can I sneak in here quietly please?! We've just been approved for our beautiful baby daughter, and start intros in a couple of weeks. As you'll see from my signature, we've got an adopted DS as well (who is very excited about the new arrival), who's due to start school in September - nothing like having everything happen at once   

Peacelily xx


----------



## MummyElf

Lots of baby girls - congratulations everyone! Xx


----------



## crazyspaniel

Congratulations Peacelily, so pleased for you


----------



## katie c

LilyElf said:


> Lots of baby girls - congratulations everyone! Xx


and a little boy 

congrats peacelilly!

i went cot shopping today...didn't really want to, am still scared about tempting fate as we haven't been ratified yet.  but we need a pic of his room for his photo album. bought the bare minimum, yellow white and green colour scheme, with a couple of other colours thrown in. we will wait to meet him before we decide on a 'theme'...and in any case, his bedding will come with him.

cant wait until there is a little boy in that cot!


----------



## Wyxie

Congratulations everyone with new and imminent arrivals.  I hope things are going well for everyone else.


----------



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi all,

Just a quick post as we are absolutely shattered. Meeting our Lo has been everything we ever imagined and so much more. Day 2 has been amazing. We arrived to smiles and LO reached out from FC arms for her Daddy. We have been so lucky with our FC as she is so fantastic. She basically left us to it all day just popping in to check on us and to show us bottles, feeding, bedroom etc and then sat and talked us through things when LO was asleep.
We spent the morning playing and I have resigned myself to her being a complete and utter Daddy's Girl....As far as she is concerned he is amazing I gave her a bottle and Daddy changed her nappy and I carried her up to bed. Daddy then brought her down, more playing, we fed her lunch and then FC said there was no need for her to accompany us so we took her out for an hour or so for a walk in her shiny new pushchair. We did a nappy change in a cafe....I was sweating by the end of it as she's not keen on it and it was a bit of a struggle and battle of wills we had a drink and felt like a proper little family. Back to FC for more playing, Daddy did the bottle and put her to sleep. I can honestly say we have never been happier and we feel 'complete'. It was lovely as when she started to grizzle as she was hungry, she came to me and put her arms out for a cuddle. FC feels that she is attaching well so fingers crossed. We are in love with her.

Sorry for the me post but just had to share. We have 2 full days with her now and then all the prep to hopefully bring her home on Thursday. xxx


----------



## Emma-is-a-mummy

So wonderful greenie really really happy for you xxxx


----------



## MummyElf

That's lovely Greenie! Your FC sounds like ours, she is fab and we're still in touch.

Katie C - but of course! Not forgetting your little chap! Go ooooon, buy the cot   tbh we had it all ready before ratification, it's a whirlwind after that. I has enough faith to see me through. 

Bit of additional news our way .... LO's has a younger sibling who will also be coming to us. The wheels are slowly turning and he will come to us in the Autumn.  

It will be a bit crazy and I'm not sure how we'll get through those first few weeks, but in the longer term it will be so worth it. Two under two....it's going to be busy!!


----------



## monkeymooo

Wow mummyelf! What exciting news!  You are defo going to have your hands full, but in the best way possible! Good that you have a few more months to settle in LO 1 and prepare! Eek! 

Greenie, our LO was a total daddy's boy in intros too - but now he loves his mummy cuddles too, yay! 

Katie, it was needed photos for the album that spurred us on to get cracking with the purchases too!

Peacelilly, doofuz, congrats!

Meeting with grandparents was fab, they are soooo excited, but managed to contain themselves a little on our instruction ! LO took them by hand and gave them a tour of house, toys, garden, he was happy to have new playmates! I think they didn't want to leave but we are keeping visits quite short at the moment, we are meanies! They are coming every few days to build up familiarity and then gradually adding in other family and close friends. He asks for them now more often than he asks for FC- but as i said on other thread, we are meeting up with FCs next week so this may change. I hope it goes ok, feel a bit unsure about it, but apparently is good for him to see they are ok, happy etc.
Xx


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

Hi everyone, 

So sorry I've not updated for a while dont seem to find the time anymore hehe. 

Well it's been almost 7 weeks since little man came home and I can honestly say we feel like he's always been here we couldn't imagine life without him. 

He's doing amazing he's walking properly, sleeping great and I've started to give him lots more finger food and he loves it. 

It's hard at times but totally worth it we love him so much. 

It's his 1st birthday very soon and we can't wait to have a little party for him bought banners and balloons today to decorate the house with too  

Got a couple of beautiful friends about to embark on parenthood and I'm so excited to share there journey with them ( you know who you are) I'm here for you ways.

Hang in there everyone it really is worth everything we have to go through 

Big hugs xxxxxxx


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi everyone, 

Well intros are over and our beautiful baby girl came home on Thursday. She is amazing and we are loving being her mummy and daddy. She has slept for around 10 hours both nights!!!!!!! She met her grandparents yesterday and great grandparents and is now fast sleep in her nursery. I am bursting with happiness (and exhaustion) and every time I see her with DH it melts my heart.

Sorry for me post. Hope you are all well x


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## monkeymooo

Greenie ah congrats you have your baby girl home,  amazing sleeps so far, long may it continue! 

Emma - enjoy the 1st birthday celebrations!

Mummy elf a have you got your head around your new arrival yet?! I must admit I would love to be in your shoes, another LO in the pipeline would be amazing! Daunting though I'm sure!

Katie, how have things been recently? Do you have DH home for weekend? 

We are feeling a bit emotional today- I think there has been a little shift in our LO and how he is relating to us...is hard to explain,  but I'll try! He's been home 3 weeks now and in general things have been great. He is settling in really well and is in a good routine of naps and sleeps and eats well and no major upsets. But it is almost as if he has been on his best behaviour and we haven't really seen the real LO yet. He is super friendly with everyone he meets, all smiles and waves and when SW visited in early days he was all over them, taking hem by hand and giving your of house  - same with early family visits too. Also although he would accept gentle touch and quick hugs and kisses, I've never really felt that he was sure about it and would quickly end a hug and run off!

However, the lat couple of days we've really noticed a change - we had another family member visit yesterday, and he was much less 'full on' in that he hung back, didn't immediately engage with them,
And when they did play he kept looking up to and saying mummy, or daddy as if checking we were still nearby.
Then, the biggest thing was tonight, DH was lying on floor and LO clambered up on his chest and snuggled in really tight with his head right next to DH - I couldn't believe it, this is the first time he has initiated such close contact. It was amazing to watch. He stayed snuggled but kept shifted and wiggling as if to nuzzle in even tighter, and was kissing him. Then, he came to me and was doing the same, it felt so lovely to have him want to cuddle up, but it felt really kind of urgent and desperate, like he couldn't get close enough. I ended up rocking him like a baby and singling softly too him, and we had his little joke where I said ahhhh little baby and he went 'wahhh'!' And then after bath time, I got a big towel and we had another snuggle and he held me really tight again. Honestly, it felt so amazing,
I could have cried. DH and I have said the same, like we feel like we've turned a little corner with him.

The urgency of the cuddles really took us by surprise though, totally came out of the blue!
He continues to amaze us and we're so proud him, special little one!
Sorry have massively rambled but can't believe how good those cuddles felt! X


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## MummyAuntieKatie

As with all of you with new LO's we haven't had time to post much lately but I do check in most days.

MonkeyMoo, we have seen a change too, whilst LO has always been appropriately reserved around strangers and seems to have bonded (dare I say even started to attach) really well these last couple of days (he's been home almost 4 weeks) he seems to be more himself.. I find it hard to explain too.  It's like he feels like we aren't just looking after him, we are actually his.  We haven's had a honeymoon period, we've had tantrums and the like since the start but he just seems more relaxed now.  Chatting much more, starting to be happier to entertain himself a little and is recognising the routine we are starting to put in place.  We finally think we are seeing his true personality.

Nights are still a challenge, 2 nights ago it was pretty bad and we were back to 4:30 wake-ups for a few days, I was finding that a huge challenge, I just don't seem able to cope well at all.  But, last night he woke up twice after going to bed at 7, once at 10:30 (which I missed completely oops!) and Midnight which were both blips and he went back to sleep really fast, I think he was practically sleepwalking.  Then he slept until 6am... Long may that continue!!!

Lovely to read everyone's news, keep it coming!!! Hugs to you all and thank you so much for your fab support over the last 4 weeks, it has been my rock and I really truly appreciate every post xxx


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## MummyElf

Greenie - how lovely!! Your post made me smile.

Monkey ... So lovely, and I know what you're saying. There is almost a tangible need in these LOs for permanence, stability and forever love. Whilst we were doing contact with our LO we occasionally saw a younger baby in the foster home and the need in her was visible. She was so young, yet trying to get my attention and clearly wanted the love I was showing our LO. The FC tried to keep the house child free during contact but it was a later one so this baby was there. It still hurts me inside a bit now, I could feel her desperation for a mummy of her own. I pray she finds her family soon.

Our LO now gives me kisses and it's heartmelting. She's teething badly and was crying tonight, so I was hugging  her, and through her hear wrenching tears she started to kiss my cheek. It's adorable! Sloppy, and mouth open style, but adorable! The first time she kissed me I cried   This morning I got a big sloppy good morning kiss followed by a big grin. Those moments are just amazing. DH is slightly jealous as she doesn't kiss him yet  

I'm getting my head very much round no.2, just want littlie with us now, safe and sound. 

It's so lovely reading updates from everyone! X


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## monkeymooo

Hello all

Feeling a bit   today- after my last post declaring LO showing lovely signs of affection towards DH and me, things seem a bit unsettled again. We've had DH sister around 3 times in the last few days and today, we were all on the trampoline and LO jumped on her and smothered her in a really tight hug and started making the baby whining noises he's been doing with me and clinging on in a desperate way.

I felt uncomfortable about this and distracted him away, but not before she had told him how lovely it was to have a hug. It's so hard, we have briefed all family that they should not initiate hugs etc, but in this case he initiated it and it would not be nice for his auntie to push him away. I want him to have good relationships with our close family but this just didn't feel right and I'm not sure how to best handle this kind of situation? I wondered if anyone could offer some tips? Xx


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## MummyAuntieKatie

Hi MM.  If that had happened here I think I would advise SIL to say 'lovely hugs LO but where is mummy, mummy loves hugs' and steer LO in your direction? It's hard to know what to do for the best.  We've been lucky (never thought I'd say that with the sleeping issues) in that BB has been appropriate with new people, doesn't hug or kiss even when he seems comfortable with them.  All apart from my mum.  He will sometimes give kisses now to people as they are leaving but it seems right, it's done in a way we are comfortable with.  I know where you are coming from.

I think it will all take time to gel properly.  Maybe you should discourage activities that lead to that kind of intimate rough and tumble?  My brother picked LO up in the garden when he first met him and I wasn't happy with that.  

His relationship with you needs to build first, the rest will follow xx


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## GERTIE179

Hi MM,

I think AKs advice is right on the button. Keep LO close when others about & if LO tries to hug etc then get family to divert back to you. The relationship with you is key. Then LO has the safe base to have relationships with others. Too soon and you may be creating a problem where LO struggles to differentiate between relationships. 

Our LO is happy to give close family cuddles but only initiates these with us.
X


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## MummyElf

Hi MM

I think your SIL needs to visit less often as it may be confusing LO. My niece didn't know where she was to start when my sister adopted her and called me mummy when I was kind to her. I kept redirecting her back to my sister.

I heard of a case recently where a family rift occurred because LO bonded more closely with an aunty as she was always there. Closeness to family will come, but SIL needs to appear less often I think, as you have to be the ones LO goes to.

Our LO has always been appropriate too thankfully, but my niece wasn't, and we had to manage it carefully as she was utterly bewildered in the early days and if someone was kind to her they became mummy. It became clear she had very insecure attachments. Adopted children can be overly affectionate and people think 'isn't that nice' but actually it's worrying. It can be fixed though, but I'd not let SIL around too often in the early days. I should have been around my nieces less probably, but being my sister's main support, this wasn't really possible as she had two under two (like I will!) and needed support. It has all worked out and we're so close to our nieces, but the attachment of the older blatantly took longer due to her initial confusion as my sister broke the rules and didn't do a 'lockdown' when they came home...and paid for it.


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## monkeymooo

Thanks so much for your input ladies, really appreciate it.  As it happens SIL has been away for a week, and she doesn't live that close so will be only round possibly weekly - the recent visits were so frequent as she was off work so wanted to spend lots of time with her new nephew! On reflection it was defo too much to have 3 days in a row.

We have plans to meet tomorrow but that is at a country fair so will be less full on in terms of one to one time.  I think that is great advice to to get family to divert him back to us, I will be having a chat!

We are also having to do a lot of careful 'affection management' in parks etc...LO will go up to any other child and try to give them him ball to play with, but yesterday he went right up to a little girl about his age and tried to give her a big hug.....luckily she was not too shocked...I'm wondering if she reminded him of a similarly aged girl who was a regular visitor to his foster home  who I'm sure he misses   I gently removed him and explained the little girl just wanted to have a swing with her mummy and not a full on bear hug!  

I'm starting to think about taking him to some playgroups etc, but bit concerned that he may think it's a big hug-fest!  How long did others leave it before going to playgroups (where you stay too) ? LO has been home 4 weeks now.  xx


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## pnkrobin

Hi all I may be going off on a tangent here but we start intros tomorrow. Has anyone else been planning what their first words to their LO are going to be?  Mine are going to be along the lines of "Hi sweetie come and give your mummy a hug".  So funny that it has come to the actual day before...


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Good luck pnk robin. We just said 'hello sweetheart'.  Foster carer introduced us as mummy and daddy and then we sat on the floor with her and waited for her to come to us. Enjoy it x


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi all, Well life here has changed so much. Munchkin has been home for 10 days now and it as been amazing, tiring, scary and every feeling in between. We can't remember life before her. Yesterday was her 1st birthday....a day DH and I never thought we would get to share with a LO. We had immediate family over and it was a really special day. Today has been hard as DH goes back to work tomorrow so there have been lots of tears from me:-( it has really dawned on me now that I'm not going back to work for another year and that munchkin  I are on our own tomorrow!!!!!!! I am looking toward to mummy and munchkin time though she sleeps well, 10-12 hours a night and we have only had 2 nights so far when she has woken for a bottle....not bad for a teething baby. Anyway, I am off to bed as I am shattered and will need plenty of energy for tomorrow.

God luck to those of you that have meetings etc coming xxx


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## peacelily

Pnkrobin - I can't remember and it was only Monday of this week    I wouldn't worry too much, just let it happen


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## MummyElf

Pnkrobin...I think I just gazed at her sat on the floor so tiny and said....wait for it... 'hellooooo'! Tbh it's overwhelming and you'll just be staring, pinching yourself, and thinking 'is this real?'. It's so magical meeting LO for the first time. What I DID do was wear sturdy jewellery, paint nails etc, as litte girls of any age are drawn to this and even though she was only 11 months, she wanted my necklace and this led to her climbing on me....bingo! Before long we were playing  

Greenie, my thoughts are with you tomorrow! PM me if you need to - my first week was tough! I cried the day hubby went back to work, I was terrified. Like you our LO has her first birthday with us after moving in and it was lovely to know we'd has that with her. I have kept busy with LO from the start and we do lots out and about, it's keeps us both happy, as otherwise initially I felt like I was just waiting for the next part of her routine


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## Wyxie

Good luck pnkrobin with meeting your little one.

Without wishing to be negative in anyway when I'm sure you're very excited, I think "come and give mummy a hug" is not the way to go with most kids.  I think you need to build up to that level of intimacy.  You've been dreaming about having a child for a long time, sadly, to your child, you are a virtual stranger, so getting some sort of connection, having fun playing etc, will probably be more on the right level.  Let them come to you when they're ready.  Bladelet was happy to have a little cuddle with me after our first meeting, and sat on my lap while we played after probably about half an hour or so, at around 10 months old.  He's a really happy outgoing little baby but he was very wary, he could tell the situation was not normal and picked up on the excitement/tension in the room.  Now he's very reserved and wants to stay with me when we meet new people, although I'm not foolish enough to think we've built up a secure attachment in such a short space of time, things are definitely "positive" and I feel like we're getting there as well as we can in the circumstances.  Toddlers will normally take a little longer to want to come other than for the sake of doing "the right thing".  I think it's really important that it's at the child's pace.  Wyxling took several days to give my husband much physical contact at all, and even then for the first few weeks it would just be lifting her on and off swings/slides etc.  If she was put into his arms (which her f/c did a few times quite unwisely when we both knew it was too soon) she absolutely screamed the place down until she got to go back to her f/c.  

With both ours (19 months but quite advanced developmentally, and a very young 10 month old baby) we took something to play with (helium balloon, can't recommend it enough for littlies) and played gradually getting them to come to us.  

I imagine your l/o will want f/c to be their main point of contact in first meeting, at least to start with.

Do you have a planning meeting before hand?  Might be an idea to ask the f/c for advice if they've done this before a few times.  Bladelet's f/c was brilliant in the first meeting.  She sat on the floor with him, and he gradually came to us to play.  She encouraged him and didn't really try to play/distract attention from us, but was there, which he needed.  

I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow, and enjoy every moment of meeting your baby at last.  

We're getting by at the moment.  Wyxling is having a hard time and I'm doing my best for her, I suspect we're going to need professional help however and I'm determined to get it.  The good times are lovely, but she's really pushing at me.  Bladelet is generally doing OK, but we had our first family visit yesterday from my parents who completely overstepped the boundaries I'd asked them to observe with both children, and he has been really unsettled today.

We have asked our family to refer Wyxling to us in a positive way if she's being too clingy to them (especially as it's usually combined with a big push away for us), we asked them to be positive about cuddles, etc, but say Mummy and Daddy have big cuddles for her/will always be there to look after her/take care of her, and ask them to send her to us when she's like this.  I'd love to tell you if it worked or not, but not one of them has managed to do this yet, they've been hopeless, and have always been massively over familiar and maternal with our very confused daughter.  As a result of which, we are not seeing them much in the near future and keeping visits short.  

Both kids are wonderful, but I'm really wishing for some less stressed time and I struggle with that with Wyxling.  When we do have good time, things are so wonderful.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Wyxie xx


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## pnkrobin

Thank you both for your comments. First meeting was 2 weeks ago and darling boy is asleep in his bed. As it turned out I didn't say come and give mummy a hug but by the end of first meeting we both were comfortable enough to hug after playing outside. We took bubbles and asked him to show us his bike which he was more than happy to do. It was one of the best days of my life. Despite a few (not many) problems in the 2 weeks it has been a joy and each day gets better and better as the familiarity grows. The love was soon there and soon strong. Now we cannot imagine life without our happy 4 year old. 
All this waiting and all previous disappointments are wiped away. If you ever doubt please still see hope at the end of the tunnel x


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## Witch01

hi all, have not posted in ages but we are nearly at intros with our babygirl!!
MP was a breeze as we weren't even there (away on our hols), the big planning meeting is this friday and intros start on monday. Cannot wait to bring our little lady home now


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