# Question to Egg share donors



## k68 (Dec 2, 2004)

hello everyone,

I wonder if I can ask a question of all the eggshare donors.  I am currently in a treament cycle and I am the reciepent.  I am so so grateful to my donor for giving me this opportunity, but unfortunately I haven't responded to my DR drugs as well as expected.  My Clinic are saying they cannot delay the treatment cycle for the donor so my option would be to freeze any embryos and have them transfered when I am ready or at a later date.    I really wanted this to be a fresh cycle - this will be my final ever chance and I wanted to give it my best shot, but my clinic won't even ask the donor if she is prepared to delay and continue with DR until I'm ready. 

My question therefore is (and I know its difficult if you're not in the situation) but if you were the donor in this situation and you knew the circumustances, if asked would you be prepared to wait another week before starting your stim drugs?  I'm told staying DR for another week does not decrease the chance of success, but would just mean you'd have to take those horrid drugs a bit longer!! 

Don't get me wrong, I know I am extremely lucky to be matched and have a donor, but I feel like my final chance has just been cut in half if we have to have FET.

thanks


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## sallyanne1 (Oct 23, 2006)

Oh hun how awful for you. I had to wait a few days for my recip to be ready but it wouldnt have made any differance to me if it was a few days or a few weeks. I was donating eggs to help someone else not for the money side of things like a lot do. At the end of the day youare paying for your donors treatment and there for i think its only fair that they should be asked to carry on for a while. Obviously if its its gonna be a long time that you are waiting then i think it would only be fair to let her carry on but if its only  a week or two i cant see the problem. 
Can you not explain to the clinic that you are not happy about the desision and ask if they would talk to the donor and ask if she would wait? Its so unfair for you   

Luv sally x x


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## honneybee (Feb 21, 2007)

K68

I second what sallyanne has said, I donated (my recip got the bfp) and would definitely have d/r for a bit longer if that was needed. I think the clinic should possibly speak to the donor and see if she is willing. I was also told that d/r doesn't effect things it is more the side effects from doing so, the headaches that kind of thing. As Sallyanne said you are paying a lot out for this and your feeling should be considered too. Most donors would be willing I am sure. 

Good luck with your tx and may this give you the BFP you want  

mitch
xx


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## k68 (Dec 2, 2004)

Thanks for your replies,  I thought I was being a bit unreasonable expecting her to wait, but at the same time I was thinking that's not fair because I'm paying for her treatment.  I am seriously thinking about pulling out if they can't wait a few days, because it seems such a waste if I have to go the FET route.  Not that FET can't be sucessful, but what if they didn't defrost?  I'm back at the clinic tomorrow to see if they can work out why I'm not DR (still!), I had a small cyst aspirated last week so they were hoping that was the cause.  My husband thinks I'm an alien, I seem to be one of the very few people that don't DR, but at the same time I need a donor because my FSH is high and egg reserves are v. very poor.  Really doesn't make sense.


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## wishing4miracle (Sep 7, 2006)

id be willing todo anything really for the person who i donate to.it wouldnt bother me if i/we had to wait alittle longer for that person.i thought the cycle circled around the recipitant anyway.shows how much i know after 2 goes    .why cant they make her dr longer anyway??or has she been dr for along time already??

hayley


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## k68 (Dec 2, 2004)

Hi Hayley,  no she's been DRing for less time than me, I don't think its been 3 weeks for her yet.  I, on the other hand, have been taking those crazy drugs since the 29th August!!  One consolation, well kind of, because it hasn't been working I'm not suffering so many side effects.


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## wishing4miracle (Sep 7, 2006)

oh i generally only dr for about 2wks before going onto stims.what drugs do recips have to take.would love to know how the other ladies carry on who i donate too


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## honneybee (Feb 21, 2007)

k68
I also wondered what you had to go thru on your tx. I did post that once but didn't get a response 
It would be interesting to hear how things are.

I would love to donate again but as a atrostic is that right (not recieve tx myself) ? I want to see later if my recip would like more eggs for further tx later if she wishes for a sibling you see. 

mitch
xx


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## k68 (Dec 2, 2004)

Well I'm not sure I'm typical given what's happening right now, but this is how it works at my clinic which is different to others.  At my clinic they make all reciepents do a trial treatment cycle before they embark on the 'real' cycle.  On a real cycle the reciepent starts DR first at day 21, and keeps going until Donor catchs up.  Donor also starts at day 21.  When both have DR'd they have sync'd the cycles sort of.  Reciepent then starts to take the 'lining' building drugs (can't remember what they're called) a few days before the Donor starts her stims.    The aim is to build a lining at least 10mm thick before donor is ready for super injection.    EC and ET are pretty much the same as normal cycles, obviously no EC for the reciepient!    After transfer reciepent continues with lining building drugs and has the horrible pessaries. 

If you have any other questions let me know - this is my 2nd Donor cycle and I feel very privilidged to be given this 2nd chance.

k


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## jakesmum (Feb 10, 2007)

Hi K68 

I'm a donor, well I'm about to be (my first IVF cycle starts on Sunday) and although I've not taken the drugs yet so I have no idea what they are like I'm sure a week or two extra is something that I could get through no matter how bad.  I hope they agree to ask the Donor if she minds holding on for you.

If you pull out will you get matched with another receipient or would you have to wait again?  I am assuming that there is a long wait to get matched if you are a receipient?

Good luck.


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## Shellyj (Mar 25, 2007)

Hi K68, I totally agree and sympathise with your situation. I think the clinic should explain to the donor the problem. Will you still have have to pay for the cycle if they insist in going ahead at this stage, it hardly seems fair. I was in a similar situation a few months ago, where I didnt dr, and the meds where changed. I then developed a cyst which was aspirated, and only then did i achieve dr. Good luck with it all, Love Shellyjxxx


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## babydreams219 (Dec 1, 2006)

I would absolutely keep downregging for the recipient!!!  We are a team and in this together.


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