# Mothers Day



## emptyarms89 (Jan 3, 2012)

Hi all hope your all well I was wondering if anyone is in the same boat and feels selfish. I love my mum to bits but seeing Mother's Day everywhere is just reminding me of everything and that our journey has had to be put on hold every year I tell myself next year I can celebrate and another ones comes and i feel like a failure I wish I could just feel ignore it all till its over hiding under a duvet obviously can't and will spoil my mum she deserves it but does anyone else feel selfish in the way that there jealous and hates others that they get to celebrate. I really feel like I bad person for it. It's just another reminder that feels like its being rammed down my throat and my hubby's.


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## Daydreamer88 (Dec 19, 2012)

Hi hun,

I know exactly how you feel...from what I have read on here it is completely normal so please don't beat yourself up over it! You are not selfish at all it is just so hard seeing something everywhere around you that you want so desperately and know you might never have and I think Mother's Day/Father's Day just emphasises that as it so widely advertised! 

I am going to buy a card for my mum & MIL and just make my excuses...

Whatever you do I am sure that your Mum will understand! 

Take care, it will all be over before you know it  

x


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

empty,
just remember you dont need to have been pregnant to be a mother,
when you soothe a friend or partner, when you look after someone who is ill, take a moment to think of how many times you've straightened someone's collar,hugged someone when their sad,held them close when they are suffering,or posted a message to someone who has touched your heart,gone out of your way even when it hasn't benefited you. 
i do this on a regular basis i hear you say..... your a MUM i say.... i believe a mum is more than giving birth it is your character and spirit and every single person i have spoken to thanks to this site is a mum in my eyes and i thank you all
mel x


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## emptyarms89 (Jan 3, 2012)

Thank you so much Daydreamer88 and melloumaw. Im glad im not the only one out there lol just you feel so isolated at times. Melloumaw thats a lovely way of thinking about thank for your help  xxxx


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

i was just about to start a post on this!!!!!!

iv found this year soooo difficult especially the other day : i went into a card shop to buy my mum a card and there it was - a card to mummy from bump  and anther - on your first mothers day. i was so devastated as my dp and i thought we had got lucky this month but af arrived late. i had to use all my strength not to burst into tears there and then it was horrendous., i picked up a card for my mum my adopted mum and my godmother went to the counter, picked up a small photoalbum for my god mum paid and got the hell out!

my dp and i then went to get some food, sitting in burger king ( dont know why but i have been craving there burgers like mad lately) and i went into the bag to have a look at the present i bought and when i looked at it the tears came - right there in the middle of the store! i hadnt noticed but it says on it - on your first mothers day. its now lying at the bottom of my wardobe in the bag with the cads and i cant bear to bring it out to get the cards. i dont know why but part of me thought it was like an omen - but obv im not pg! but this mothers day i could have been getting a card from my bump  

i now official despise mothers day!


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

birthdays parent days easter xmas its all commercialism, meant to pray on people and make them feel bad if they dont participate. i buy for my parents as their old school. but i refuse to allow my children to buy on mothers or fathers day, i dont believe so much importance should be put on one day to say i love you, my kids make me cards just cos and it means so much more than receiving it on a stated day.i have zero feelings towards these commercial days due to how they make people feel
i hope you realise your dreams of motherhood soon, but try not to allow these commercial days to get you down,think how many cards you would  receive if there were days for instance like best friend,wonderful partner,person whos been through so much etc etc, i know it cant replace being a mum but i hope it lifts your spirit a little


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## emptyarms89 (Jan 3, 2012)

the_tempress89 - im so sorry to hear af turned up but i know where your coming from last month was the first time since stopping clomid 5 months ago that i ovulated and of course i did the silly thing got my hopes up then af turned up 2 weeks ago which hasnt helped at all im fed up with reminders everywhere.  

melloumaw - i know its all commercial hype but i cant help but feel like i want it that i want to celebrate that i have finally made and finally become a family with my dh which i know it shouldnt matter about this one but just feels like its being rammed down my troat but im going to try and look at it your way see if that helps as its turned me into a blubbering mess most days at the moment. 


   hopefully next year we will all be where we want and it wont bother us so much x


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

well here's a virtual mother in waiting card for you  _____
                                                                                l        l
                                                                                l        l
                                                                                l        l
                                                                                l-------l
sending love


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## emptyarms89 (Jan 3, 2012)

awww thank you hun


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

i do agree, alot of it is just commercial rubbish, i buy for my gran ( who is my adopted mum) just because its a day i can spoil her without her going h you shouldnt be spending your money on me! i can go oh well its mothers day  and i buy for my godmum because its became a bit of a tradition - im the godmother to her youngest so every now and then if she can afford it ill get somethign small from her daughter ( which makes me feel all fuzzy inside lol) last year i got a me 2 you teddy <3 and i have to get for my biological mum purely because shes pick a fight if i didnt and i cant be bothered with the hassle but im sneaky my card to her never says wonderful mother or best mum or any of that this years is three cup cakes and it says have a sweet time  but i show face because i have siblings who live with her all so complicated ! lol 

its never bothered me any other year i think the reason it got to me so much this year was because we went out shopping about 3 days into my af so everythign was still raw, and then i saw the card to mummy from bump and i thought to myself..... i should have been getting that this year. it was all just incredibly bad timing. 

i love your idea of a best friend day and great partner day ( though im pretty sure they call that valentines day lol) im just trying to think on things as this is the last year where i wont have a mothersday card because next year ill have a little baba toddling in with a card and choccies ( probably half eaten) lol


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## melloumaw (Feb 2, 2012)

tempress thats the attitude positivity is key


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## Crazychickenlady (Feb 16, 2013)

I positively hate mothers days!  

I spoil my mum throughout the year, and she understands that I dont go all out on mothers day because I find it hard myself. I stand there looking at the cards, welling up, reading the lovely words, thinking "Wheres mine?"  

It dosent help when my first MC anniversary is looming on the 23rd


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## Magicbaby (Jan 11, 2011)

So glad to see this thread........
If my txx hd of worked last aug I wud be fast approachin due date an I remember last mothers day I was so excited I was havin my tx  it wud work an I wud get a "from bump" mothers day card thjs year but no this is not the case!! Was so down earlier reduced to ttears didnt wanna do nothin today but then this car pullled up at house an it was my goddaughter with a happy god mummys dsy card cue the tears again albeit after her an parents were gone was so hard to hold it together!!! Was not expecting that im very grateful for it but its hit me harder noin I wont ever get a mummys day card.............from my own son or daughter
Just want today to be over but yet I dont cuz tomorrow is monday an its bk to facin the world again........an the questikns ur married so long no kids or wait til u have one etc...........
Tough times 
Magicbaby x


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## thepheonix (Jan 24, 2012)

Hi there

Well don't get me started on mothers day!!!! My DP and I have been together over 8 years and since his sister has 2 children and 1 on the way I am godmother to her daughter and have been for three years ever since then she feels the need to get me a mothers day card and gift pretending it's from my goddaughter and sort of nephew. We're not married so technically I'm not their auntie and secondly she knows the troubles I've been having with TTC so it's a little bit of a slap in the face with these yearly mothers day cards D: and to top it all off she told me she was pregnant with her third on the day myself and DP got our second BFN! Talk about bad timing. Anyway top it all off I hate mothers day but I visit my mum with a gift as after all she's helped me greatly through a lot xxxx


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## C0nfused (Apr 13, 2007)

Aww I think its a nice thing to get cards from godchildren. I don't have (and doubt I ever will) any godchildren. I can't have any nieces or nephews being an only child  either . Mothers day is a difficult day in my house too because my MIL passed away on Mothering Sunday 5 years ago and now its like there are two anniversaries of her death, the actual day plus mothering sunday. Doubt it will be something we celebrate if we do have a child because of this. 

Jenny


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