# oldies thinking about adoption



## sue93 (Jun 14, 2006)

hi there girls - is it a bit odd of me to be asking a question here, when I'm on the verge of a third (and final) ivf attempt? Hope it's ok...

Having one of those quiet saturday nights in and thinking about it all...

I'm 43 and DP is 55, so i do know the chances of us having a successful pregnancy are very slim (despite 2 BFPs in last few months). For some reason I feel very odd about donor eggs and think i would rather look into the option of adopting if a child wasn't going to be mine genetically (if you see what i mean).

However I'm aware that we are very old - and i'm assuming wouldn't be considered for young children. Is that the case do you know? And are there any other implications because of our age?

thanks in advance - some really moving, lovely stories here.

Sue x


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

hi

im only just starting down the adoption route and i got my info pack this morning and the LA(local auth) im going with have no upper age limits however they state in the letter to us they need families for sibling groups and under 4s along with older children!

give a few local auth a ring ask

massive hugs

Mez
xxxx


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## sue93 (Jun 14, 2006)

thanks mez - Had a look on a couple of websites and like you said, they are keen to rehome family groups (but do say they have no upper age limit, which i was surprised about - one in particular said they placed more children with people over 50 than they do under 30 - i guess because younger people are still trying 'naturally' maybe?)

Really good luck with the adopting mez

love Sue  xxx


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## Newday (Apr 27, 2005)

Hi Mez

we had a preliminary interview last week I am 43 DH 51 and they said they would consider us for children 6-10 years

dawn


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Not sure if it is still the current thinking but one book I read says they try to leave no more than a 45 year age gap between parent and child.  it used to be 40 but it was increased along with the increasing age of birth mothers these days.  however...this might be out of date what with age discrimination stuff and new adoption law etc as the book is a good 5 years old.

Anyway - hope that might help to give you a rough idea of what thinking was/is/might be.

magenta xx

ps - wishing you every success with your IVF


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## sanita (Oct 27, 2005)

Hi Sue,

I'm 39 and DH is almost 53.  We were approved to adopt last month.  We have been guided by our SW to the 3 - 8 years age range.  Our SW is currently following up on several children for us within that age bracket, but realsitically we are not expecting to have pre school age children placed with us because of DHs age.  Hope that helps.


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Sue,

Our SW told us that with our VA their guidelines were that the younger of the two parents should preferably not be more than 40 years older than the child. It didn't really apply to us because we were looking for two siblings up to 10 years of age so we are delighted to be getting two aged 3 and 8. 
I think each authority or agency has their own variation so I would check but you may find that they will not consider you for children under two years because they have so many people waiting for that age group.

Best of luck in your treatment 

Morgana x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Sue

Welcome and good luck for your IVF.  

There is no age limit but what they will do is assess you and your ability to care for a child from the age they are placed through their teenage years and into early adulthood.

Hope this helps 
Karen x


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## jilldill (Feb 2, 2006)

Hi Sue,
We are 42/48 and have just been placed with a wonderful baby girl so no age did not affect us, good luck with your journey
JD x


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## sue93 (Jun 14, 2006)

thanks all of you - i'm surprised (and pleased!) at the answers. 

Good luck to all of you

Sue x


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

I'm not sure what age the children were but our sw told us about a match where the youngest applicant was 49.
All the best to you Sue.


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