# Poor Responders: Part 104



## Skybreeze

*New Home Ladies 
    *​


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## IzziLu

That confused me I thought I was looking in the wrong place for a minute


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## IzziLu

Oooh Heaps, is there a race or something?


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## fluffy jumper

Hi, just marking the thread from a very rainy casablanca


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## H&amp;P

Just marking


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## nicki70

Bookmarking!


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## fluffy jumper

a question for clearblue fertility monitor users. If you don't ovulate in a month does it just stay at low fertility.  Ie does it go to medium whether you ov or not.  
I am using mine for the first time this month.  I have short cycles these days, (about 24-25 days) and today I am on CD13 annd it still says low fertility.
I do wonder what the room cleaner thinks when she sees what looks like a pg test stick in the bin every morning.


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## purple72

Just marking xxx


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## Little Me

Gutted for Anna, hun, I am    that something good will happen by tomorrow hun....I like to try and remain optimistic, if not for myself, at least for my lovely friends   

Tracey hi hun- I ouv'd late this month (today day 14) and I was low until day 12 (high yesterday) I give it a couple of days hun, I suspect it will just stay low if you don't , but I'm sure you will. Enjoy casablanca  

And gutted for Kate- I'm gonna pop and see her as soon as I can girls and giver her a hug from us all   

AM- we're being met Sat & Sun this weekend as she owes us a "meet" so it defo won't be Sunday, sorry lovely  

Hi lovley Purps -  

Z- I will always remember our same day EC last year when you were chattign to Jason on his iphone. Feel free to PM me love with your updates, it's nice to share but please stick around


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## Spuds

ello ello marking thread


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## angel_lass

Hi ladies - well after my one and only go at ICSI I got a letter from my clinic yesterday along with my refund cheque we have to go back for our consultation next friday the letter i got was horrible basically it was saying that due to my amh no other protocol will help me and that doner eggs would give us the best chance or a pregnancy...so doner eggs it is then! Just have to get my head round the idea i suppose. The letter also said and i quote 'this is a very poor response for someone so young and sadly you will go through an early menopause' WTF thats not a nice letter to get is it? I feel on the scrap heap is there any clinics out there likly to treat someone with my amh (0.7) or should i just bite the bullet and have the doner eggs?

Nicki x


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## Little Me

**** y & Purps.........what's the ** page girls?


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## Skybreeze

traceymohair said:


> a question for clearblue fertility monitor users. If you don't ovulate in a month does it just stay at low fertility. Ie does it go to medium whether you ov or not.
> I am using mine for the first time this month. I have short cycles these days, (about 24-25 days) and today I am on CD13 annd it still says low fertility.
> I do wonder what the room cleaner thinks when she sees what looks like a pg test stick in the bin every morning.


Hey Tracey

On my first cycle I went from low fertility on CD 13 to peak (ov'ing) on CD14. Its getting to know your hormone so might be a bit hit and miss this cycle. Now I get high fertility for 2/3 days before I peak for 2 days, followed my 1 more day of high.

Good luck.. LOL poor cleaners probably think you are addicted!

N xxx


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## Malini

First of all, Anna. You were the first person I thought about when I woke up and I am trying to keep you at the front of my mind all day. So hoping against odds and your intuition that tomorrow is a better day. 

For Spuds and PUPO Nicki (there are a lot of Nicki's on this thread) that the 2ww is okay   

Heapey - So hope you are managing to enjoy a day in beautiful Istanbul while you wait for your dh to arrive tonight. Sending you lots of orange love.   

Driver - that headache sounds grim. 

Angel_lass - I am sorry but I think your clinic are lazy, wrong and inconsiderate. That is an awful letter.    First of all there is no conclusive evidence that low AMH means early menopause. POF (premature ovarian failure) and DOR (diminished ovarian reserve) are not the same thing. AMH is indicative of the latter and sometimes part of the diagnosis for the former but it is so much more complex then they are making it seem. We have had pregnancies with AMHs close to yours. DE is valid and, in my opinion, an incredible gift from one woman to another but it is also quite an easy diagnosis to write coldly in a letter, especially if it means the problematic patient will go away. If DE is where you want to go next then I celebrate that and we are here to support you but if wish to try again with your OEs then there are options. In the UK, there is the Lister and in Turkey there is the Jinemed. I went to Las Vegas and cycled with Dr Sher. He will do a free telephone consult if this is something you are interested in - see www.haveababy.com and read www.ivfauthority.com for his thoughts on IF and tx. I was given the DE speech by the Hammersmith and UCH. And DE may still be a part of my journey and I will never discount it but you must feel ready and not pushed by inadequate doctors who care more for their stats and egos then they do for your heart and health.

Sorry if that felt like a lecture. It wasn't meant to be. I'll go do the dishes now and get rid of some of this fury.

Hi Natalie and also hello to you Tracey in wet Casablanca. That sounds very exotic even if you say it isn't!

And to end with Anna   .

Malini xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## H&amp;P

Tracey - I am on CD 17 today and mine has stayed on low all 10 days   so don't think i am OV'ing this month, on the first month I used I think I got this as it takes a month or so to get to "know" your cycle, you may find next month it will ask you to start doing the tests a couple of days earlier than it did this month. the other thing I do (ok a bit gross but will tell you anyway) is keep the sticks lined up on my dresser for each cycle as you can tell from looking at the lines when they are getting darker and lighter. I usually go from low to medium then peak the next day and then high for a couple of days after that then back to low until the end of my cycle.

Anne - No problem, give Shortie a huge hug from me when you see her.  

Angellass-   to clinics that send that kind of info out in the post, there are other options you could consider before going to DE


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## purple72

Anne hunny it's a page set up by LadyV for support although I keep trying to see how to invite others and I think only LV can do it

Angel So Many of us have had that speech either in letter form or at Follow up! it's the clinics way of saying, we don't treat outside the norm so we'd never be successful with you and you'd just harm our statistics. They don't try so they have no experience. Thankfully they are wrong! two clinics that have vast experience and excellent success rates are the Lister in London and Jinemed in Turkey! I would suggest you consider one of them. If I'm not mistaken Miranda's AMH was 0.7 I think and now she has the lovely Bobster! 

Hugs to all xxx


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## kitten77

bookmarking!!!!


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## Jal

Dear all

Sorry to pop on and do a me post. I have been reading and I think this is the yr of the PRs, HUGE congratulations for all BFPs!!!

Anna - I am keeping everything crossed for you   

Can I get some advice pls? I am on day 8 of stimms and had a scan today. So get this - me - who was also given DE speech - has 9 follies, just as I was say 'fab, never had a response like that' the nurse seemed to be taking alot of time on the scan. Basically I have a polyp. Saw the consultant and was given 2 options:

1- Cancel, have hysteroscopy to remove polyp, go again when healed
2 - Ignore it and carry on as it PROBABLY won't affect things as it is small - 0.6cm, think they def cancel if it is over 1cm

Left and told them to send bloods and I would decide after scan on Friday, now changing my mind as it is more money and anguish. Also thinking if I go ahead with this cycle and it fails I may always think what if.... This is our last shot. Up to now spent £1k. I think I will get the Polyp removed on private healthcare as it could be investigation rather than fertility treatment (need to check) so would still have money for another round without any obstacles.

Advice/opinions/experiences? I wish they would just tell you what to do!!

I'd like to add into the DE speech. I was given this after a cancelled cycle due to NO response and then v low quality/response on 2 subsequent cycles. Swapped clinics and the only thing they changed on SP was that I went on the pill 1st and I then got 9 embryos, 6 fertlised and went to blasts (BFN but never would have believed I could get this far and neither did my 1st clinic). Done the same this time round and again I have 9 follies (which may go to waste but still responded!). So for those given the speech after 1 or 2 cycles pls get a 2nd opinion and don't believe the 1st consultant as I would have gone to DE on my previous cycle where I actually got to blasts.

Love and luck to all.

J x


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## wishy-washy

Bookmarking but also have to reply.

Driver - I hope you migraine has gone and it wasn't the DHEA.

Angel_lass - sorry for the horrible letter you got from hospital. Having a low AMH as Malini says does not mean your going to have early menopause. My consultant said that just because I have low ovarian reserve doesn't mean I'll have early menopause. I too think clinics try and protect their stats by giving us the DE speech.

Jal - I'm not sure what polyp is so can't advise but I would say that be careful when calling private health care. Don't mention that you are trying. We made that mistake when ringing to find out if I could get my cyst removed. They classed it as fertility as we mentioned that we wanted the same consultant that we were seeing for IVF. Even though op wasn't strictly for fertility reasons. They said only if we have given up with fertility treatment would cover it, so told us to come back when we've had our family.

It's great to hear your having such a great response after having had the DE speech. I hope you're able to make a decision your happy with and good luck with it all.



traceymohair said:


> I do wonder what the room cleaner thinks when she sees what looks like a pg test stick in the bin every morning.


  I'm sure cleaners are used to seeing allsorts

 to everyone else.
Wishy-Washy


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## angel_lass

Thanks girls does anyone know what a cycle of icsi would come it at for the Jinemed, what would we have to budget for taking into account travel and hotels etc?

Thanks girls    xx


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## Little Me

Angel - have pm'd you
xx


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## Han72

Hi all

just a quickie to send      to Anna... It's still early days and I'm  that tomorrow brings better news       

Angel - could you please give me your doctor's number? I want to call him and tell him what he can do with his crappy diagnosis!  Actually, no, better if you go to the Jinny, get pregnant, have your baba and then go round and dump the first lot of dirty nappies on his desk with a big [email protected] YOU!!!!

Jal - sorry I've no experience of polyps...  but can they not give you a better idea of the likelihood of this thing growing big enough to mean you HAVE to cancel?  I'd be very loath to stop now with that many follies! You've already been stimming 8 days so chances are they're probably only going to stim you for a couple more days, right  What stims are you on and did they tell you how big the follies were

Sorry no more persos have to go and have an argument with someone about my eurostar tix, the buggers are refusing to exchange the tix I couldn't use over Crimbo cos apparently there was a 2 month deadline - I didn't know that!  All I DO know is that someone better give me my money back or a free return journey or else!


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## Little Me

Nix- Eurostar, what a load of [email protected]!! give em hell xx


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## Ourturn

Lots a huge thread as I posted just as thread locked  and then work e-mail went down...it said 'site not allowed' freaked out as I thought they had banned FF

Louise - our boiler packed in last night too! Spooky. We are covered by British gas homecare..a man is comming out today and it won't cost. Well worth looking into it, we have cover for the boiler and heating

Nix - I would assume they would have given you 6 months at the VERY LEAST!  

Wishy Washy - did I congratulate you? Amazing news!  

Tracey - hope you get there soon!

Kate - please don't go   Tell us who has upset you and we will sort them out  

Angels - sorry about the letter  I agree with the others..its their way of saying we don't know how to deal with PR's 

Jal - have no clue about polyps..gues you need to understand what the risks would be if you continued? Hope you don't have to cancel..9 follies is amazing!

Zuri - of course you belong here hun. Now if you were producing 20 eggs we might need to kick you off! Kidding!  

Hi everyone

Thanks for the lovely messages. Was thinking what next when driving to work. DH said we could do another 2 ivf cycles. I want a bit of a break and to ttc naturally for a while (with twhatever immunes DR G suggests) and maybe cycle in September...oe de in Cyprus, Turkey, with Mr G in London or LV...who knows. Definately need to start on pill as soon as I bleed to get my cycle back (down reggs stop af for 3 months otherwise) and start popping dhea. Anyway.....
Did another FR test this am popped. Looked negative. Popped it in my bag. Looking at it now there is the faintest on lines ! WTF? Checked the other tests...Sunday..definately a line, yesterdays no lines (must have been evap). Today a super faint 2nd pale pink line. Is it possible the 1st embie implanted then failed and the second is now trying? I have been having a mix of sharp and pulling pains in my left side since Sunday.
Had decided not to bother with a blood test tomorrow, but think I definately need to go. 
Been chasing my lad retest results since Friday   Dr G's receptionist said she will chase Chicago as soon as they open at 3pm our time. 
Anna x


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## Little Me

anna


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## Jal

Thnx for replies, from what Dr Google says a polyp is basically like a skin tag in the uterus and can impede implantation and lead to miscarriage, the grey area with mine is that it is small.

I keep thinking about Purps having the Laporoscopy and then falling naturally (not likely in my case as MF) and thinking that basically her uterus has had a good 'spring clean' which is basically what the hyporoscopy (spelt wrong) would do. If a polyp at 1cm definately hinders implantation then one at 0.6cm must have some effect also  

Also loath to canx with 9 follies but I might get a great embryo to put back into a duff uterus and fail anyway.

Another question, if I cancel what happens to my 9 follies, would they grow enough to maybe get pg naturally, as I said not likely with MF but maybe if they had 9 to go at their would be a better chance or am I being really stupid!

Anna - so have everything crossed for you     Definately go for bloods tomorrow  

Nix - good luck with Eurostar!!


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## Han72

Hiya

just a quickie Jal but I just had an appointment with Dr Google about polyps. From what I can see, the belief is that polyp*s* plural MIGHT interfere with implantation but if it's only a ickle one... well I can only reiterate that I would hesitate to cancel with 9 follies. They really need to tell you how far along you are and whether it's likely to get any bigger before ec/ET otherwise how can you make a decision

Anna there is EVERY reason to believe that the 2nd embie is still trying to implant     DEFINITELY do another blood test tomoz and I was wondering if you'd thought about going to see Gorgy for immunes...? Even if you've tested early, once you get a BFP, the ARGC recommends you check your immunes the same day.... (I think they can turn the results around much more quickly than the 3-4 weeks they usually tell us!)

xxx


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## Malini

Anna   Please go for the blood test.  We have seen so many incredible and unbelievable stories on here. I am   with all my might.

Heaps - How are you more importantly!!!?  I am fine thank you.  Nervous, slight nausea sometimes, tired and eating weird things but that could be the steroids too.  Sometimes I am brave and say to myself Mother Nature knows best, and at other times I make bargains with the devil.

Jal - If you collected and had any suitable for freezing, would that help?  I too had a hysteroscopy this summer for a clear out, and do believe that may have helped eventually .... Is there anything on Sher's site www.ivfauthority.com that may be useful and/or post a question to him or another doc on www.haveababy.com  They answer very quickly.  Well done on the 9, I am sorry you have had this most unwanted and unwelcome dilemma presented to you.

Nix - Is this the ticket you couldn't use because of their frozen engine fiasco? Good grief they are not trying very hard to earn back their tattered reputation are they?  Hope you go on okay and get what you want...I hate small print.


Afternoon all.  I do hope the sun is shining where you are.  I feel like a new person.
Malini xxx


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## H&amp;P

Jal - just a thought, why can't you go to EC and and have the ICSI and then freeze the resulting embryos while you get the polyp sorted, 9 is a fab number of follies and I wouldn't want to throw that chance away. (Mal great minds think alike  )


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## Züri

Anna I have everything tightly crossed for tomorrow - I can't imagine the turmoil you must be feeling

Anne you'll always be my original cycle buddy  It's the support all you girls gave me back then and over that 'other' issue that has kept me here sneakily 

Thanks again for all your kids words re stating, i ain't going anywhere anyway that was never the intention, it's just don't be surprised if I may not say much about my cycle in detail  will be interesting to see what happens at my scan on Monday though. My scan on my first cycle after downregging only showed 4 antrals (hence how I ended up here) 

First day at work today - wore the only pair of black trousers I had - skinny trousers tucked into knee boots and a plum coloured jumper, wish I could wear jeans  I am a design for f's sake - never had to wear formal work attire 

xx


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## popsi

really sorry not read back will do later just marking xxx


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## purple72

Hello ladies, Anna hunny your head must be ready to explode! like the others have said you need that blood test tomorrow! keeping everything crossed for you hunny!!!!

Jal sweetie my little cycle bud from way back when! I've never had a polyp but as I was reading your first post I did think about my 'spring clean' but the other ladies have come up with a plan! why not hav EC and have the resulting blasts frozen! then have the spring clean ( I must admit I'd recommend Raef Faris at Lister the best 2.5K we've ever spent) and have them put back 6 weeks or so after.

Zuri glad first day went well! wait till you have to find work clothes when nothing fits anymore due to pregnancy bump yet bumps not big enough for Mat wear! now thats when it becomes complicated (not moaning though)

Hello sweet Anne hunny  

Nix go get them eurostar fools!!!

Hello everyone else big hugs xxxx


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## Jal

Thnx ladies - freezing was option 3 but the consultant said she would def discount that one as it wouldn't give me the best chance either.

Just left a msg for my consultant to see if I get any more information before I have to make the decision whether to inject or not tonight, so frustrating!!!

Purps - £2.5k is the cost then? That was going to be my next question, along with timescales of getting going again if I cancel. Finally set a date for wedding of next summer and refuse to move it for tx as it has ruled enough of my life in last 2-3yrs!!


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## mag108

sobroody: Yes you must retest hun.    


Anne: glad you enjoyed yourself away, hug to shortie from me too

Purps, thanks for that info earlier.

Swinny: catch up at the weekend X


Jal - Sorry I've no experience of polyps...you've been getting good advice on here. x

Wishy: Very very happy for you hun! What great news 

Driver: You poor thing! Migraines are awful.

Nix: Eurostar  , give them a big piece of your mind. Go to the media if you dont get anywhere, or the guys that did the inquiry, or type into google 'chief exec of eurostar' and send him an email


kisses to everyone else, sorry no more persos, my head is just so full from what turned out to be a stressful day.

Got my GP nurse to draw blood this am. Annoyingly she hadnt been given the letter with details of what tubes etc, that I got DH to hand in last week. But I think we got what we needed. Then jetted off to general hosp for another test for something else.
After a number of hours of waiting I got back to the carpark only to find I was blocked in! I was so annoyed as I had to get back with the car for DH to go to work and for me to wrap/package all the blood for the fedex courier arriving at 4pm! I ended up (didnt tell DH this) ...driving over a curb and an embankment. Dont think I damaged the car (fingers crossed!)......

Got appt for hysterocsopy. I think it means I will still be able to start cycling on 8 March. Fingers crossed its all ok, fingers crossed no more obstacles. IF is obstacle enough.
x


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## Malini

Yes, it is Mag.  Fingers crossed.  8th of March is SOON!!!  And one of these   to the idiot who blocked you in.
Malini xxx


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## Nikki2008

Louise you asked what Estrogen Priming is. I was on this protocol on my last cycle and it is meant to increase egg quantity and quality for PR by administering estrogen one month prior to cycling which is supposed to prime ovarian FSH receptors.
I found this on the SIRM site:
Estrogen priming protocols: Older women (over 40 yrs), women who have demonstrated a prior reduced ovarian response to COH and those who by way of significantly raised cycle day 3 FSH and reduced Inhibin B levels are considered likely to be “poor responders”, are first given GnRH agonist for a number of days to effect pituitary down-regulation. Upon menstruation and confirmation by ultrasound blood estradiol measurement that adequate ovarian suppression has been achieved, the dosage of GnRH agonist is drastically lowered (or the agonist is replaced with a GnRH antagonist) and the woman is givens twice-weekly injections of estradiol for a period of 7-10 days. COH is then initiated using a relatively high dosage of FSH-dominant gonadotropins such as Folistim or Gonal F that is continued along with daily administration of GnRH agonist/antagonist until the “hCG trigger”. A recently completed study has demonstrated the efficacy of this protocol and the ability to significantly improve ovarian response to gonadotropins in many of hitherto “resistant patients".

Re clinics and which ones are best, can I please make a pitch for Instituto Marques in Barcelona they offer IMSI which increases the chances of finding the best sperm, polar body biopsy a genetic test of egg quality, vitrification which increases the chances of FET and they don't ignore the male factor like so many clinics do.

They use Estrogen Priming for poor responders, older women and those with several failed cycles. They tried this protocol a few years ago when a woman who was a donor egg candidate would not give up on her own eggs insisted on another cycle. Against all odds she conceived and her daughter is now two years. At first they thought this might be just luck but they kept getting above average success rates for women with a very bad outlook. 
Needless to say I am sold on it as it worked for me. However I did it with polar body biopsy and immune treatment provided by Dr Gorgy. Downsides: very expensive and don't believe in immune treatment. 

Sorry so bad with personals...


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## purple72

Jal yes that was the cost hunny but I must admit we balked at the time but I wanted raef to do it as he was in charge of our IVF I guess I could have had it done on the NHS I guess. I think you're right not to change you wedding date although how do you feel about getting married with a big bump    

I think I'd push your consultant as to what they think, see how much such a small polyp would inpact on IVF! I had a cycst just outside my ovary that they thought would impact on things in the previous cycle but when raef looked at it when he did my lap he left it as it was as he said it would have no impact!


Mag's what a day you've had sweetie! Don't tell DH (what the eye doesn't see the heart doesn't grieve over)

Ladies I'm really sad! I announced my pregnancy as most of you seen on F/book on friday and today I changed my status to congratulate my nephew on passing his 11+ but my announcement and all the wonderful messages, over 45 of them congratulating me have dissappeared! They were so special to me  

Hey ho, can't grumble too much I guess as I'm still pregnant. they just meant the world to me xxx


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## fishface

Marking  

 to anna  

 to kate  

bye again xxxx


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## purple72

Hey Fish,

Well I'm happy again as messages are back now    I'm so blessed and lucky xxx


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## fishface

purps, i was just sending them to you in word


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## purple72

Oh sweetie you are such a star!!


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## fishface

Print it out and add them to your baby book hun  

Off home now, bye


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## laurab

I can't reply now haven't got time but.... ohhhhh Angel I'm SOOOOOOO angry!!! My AMH was about that the month I concived the chippers and same as Mir when she concieved the Bobster.............. 

Anna - I'm still keeping everything crossed.   

Will do more personals later. Just cooking a roast and its chipper bedtime nearly... why do I do too many things at once all the time!


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## LV.

Hey girls,

Anna - hoping it was an early implanter and your numbers have risen tomorrow and *definitely *go for the test!!  

Nikki - Congratulations!! Alexander is a lovely name

Wishy Washy - congrats lady!

Tracey - my CBFM went completely out of whack when I went to NY, figured it was the time difference (even though I tried to keep it the same I think my different body patterns must have altered my hormones) so with this being a "learning" one too don't fret if it doesn't make much sense for a couple of months.

Purps - I think any member of Shorty's group can invite anyone else, it's just not publicly listed. Can someone try it and let me know? Do you have a bit that says "invite people to join" on the left of the page? I'll have a scout in the settings if not but I'm pretty sure you can.

Angel- I think and ICSI cycle at the Jin is approx £4k and that includes a hotel
and transfer plus all your drugs, was about half the price than here and they were great

Nix - can't believe Eurostar, what a joke! Are they having a larf? How are you getting on researching a course? Do you think you'll be able to?

Malini - hope you're all super shiny! When's your scan?

Anne - glad you had a lovely time in prague, it's a magical city isn't it?

Heaps - lots of love to you in Istanbul, hope all goes well tomorrow

Head is a bit mushed, love to everyone...

My acu course started yesterday so my head is swimming and frazzled (in a good way!) Realisation is dawning fully this is not just a new course I've started but a whole new approach to life which is going to take some getting used to. One of the girls on my course (from what I can deduce) is a nurse at Dr Gorgy's clinic! This is a tad awkward seeings as I need to get myself booked in there for bloods if we cycle Sher. I suppose she's bound by confidentiality but it's still less than desirable.

The people are really nice and my only homework so far has been to commit to doing 10 mins of qi exercise every day... for... like... ever! Gawd...

I'm at work again for the rest of the week, really want to tell them to shove it up their bum but suppose that might be a tad unprofessional.

LadyV xx


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## popsi

hi .. just a quick one.. anyone heard from Kate.. i have messaged her a few times on ** but no reply, i am a bit concerned


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## Miranda7

Evening!

Just a quickie as I am [email protected] - 12-hur days as I'm so far from my new jobbie.

Angel - yup, my AMH was 0.69 in the May. Took DHEA for four months and in the Sept flew out to the Jinny, where Boblet was made. And that with awful sperm, too. HOW lucky?

Seriously - I don't know why the crapper clinics want hundreds of eggs. They must feel inadequate to deal with harder cases.

Anna SB - the line has NOT gone. Therefore we are full of hope and light and goodness. So there. I'll be on at silly o'clock should you want to PM me your test results tomorrow!

I'm so sorry, I can't so more - getting up at five for the last few mornings has zapped me.

Tomorrow my chums!

xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## purple72

LV I don't have invite friends on the left hand side just leave group? good luck with your exercises and your course xxx

Mir bless you thats a lot of work! how many days a week!


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## LV.

Purps - how about now?

x


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## purple72

Perfect I can now! Who's a clever Lady then   well done LV x


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## laurab

Hi all,

I have been reading through all day but ca't remember any f it.  

Tracey - Hope you get to where your meant to be soon! 

Anna -   Hope you get some answers tom.  

Zuri - Hope work was ok... I couldn't take a job if I couldn't wear jeans!  And I think the rule on this thread is if you get more than 10 eggs you have to share them!  

Mir - Thought it was part time!  

XXXX


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## H&amp;P

Anna (SB) -   

Heaps - Hope you have a smooth EC


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## laurab

Heaps and Anna - Good Luck today girls, will be thinking of you both.


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## Miranda7

Dears!

I've posted this elsewhere, but in today's Sun it says Asda are starting to fill prescriptions for tx at cost price!


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## laurab

Really? Fabulous. Good ole Asda.


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## Malini

For you Anna   

And for you Heaps. Hope you have a healthy dh with you and that EC goes to plan. Come on follies,give up those eggs.

Malini xx


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## laurab

Morning Malini.... how you feeling? How many weeks are you now? when is your next scan... will you be getting a ticker after that?   Sorry all questions!


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## Züri

good luck heaps and anna xx


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## popsi

good luck heaps and anna

love to everyone xxx


arghhh just dont find time to catch up properly lately !!... any tips on how to keep a one year old quiet when her dad is in bed after nights lol !! xx


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## purple72

Good luck Heaps & Anna thinking of you both xxxx


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## laurab

Pops - Give her a pack of baby wipes.. whenever mine go quiet I know they are all sittig there pulling them out all over the floor!  

Morning Purps


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## purple72

Morning Lovely laura and wonderful Pops

I should write down all these hints as it seems time is flying by! I bought a birthpool in a box this week and it came yesterday!   All seeming a bit real now! DH has made me promise not to give birth in water but he's agreed I can use it for labour. 

Anyway where has the sun gone today? DH has his driving test at 12:38 (what an insane time) but can you please keep everything crossed for him.

Mir wow on the news from Asda!

Hello to everyone else xxx


----------



## Malini

Hi Laura and Purps,

Not ignoring questions - just anxious.  Have woke with a cold and am sniffling.  All symptoms have disappeared and I feel different.  I know I am crazy and this thread is not the appropriate place for my anxiety and moaning, so trying to sit tight and focus on my scan tomorrow afternoon.  

Birthing pools are exciting Purple!!!  Will think of your dh and his test.  I had to redo mine when I moved to the UK and it was traumatic.

Hiya Popsi.  No useful tips am afraid but loving your little tidbits of news.

Malini xx


----------



## purple72

Mal hunny a cold and the sniffles IS a symptom!     will be thinking of you tomorrow sweetie xxxx


----------



## IzziLu

Hi, just wanted to pop on quickly and wish all the very best of luck in the world to AnnaSB and Heaps (and Purp's DH too of course).  Will be thinking of you all day and sending lots of postive vibes          

Lot of love

IzziLu xXx


----------



## laurab

Ohhh who is it that is upetting my Malini and Kate..... Im so angry.  

Malini - You are quite within your right to be anxious.  I was anxious all the way through. This is the place to post how you feel as we have been here for you all the way through your journeyand will be here til you have that bubba in your arms safe and sound. Getting a bfp is really not the end of the journey.  So scan tom?    I will look forward to good news from you tomorow.  

Good Luck Mr Purps!  I'm sure I only passed mine as when I got intot the car my instructor shouted... 7th time lucky girl... think the inspector felt sorry for me!


----------



## purple72

Mal I'm with Laura, If people don't like it then there are other threads on FF. The majority of us want to support each other the WHOLE way through this journey! this thread is for support! pure and simple.

sx


----------



## popsi

laura.. love the tip but a one year old a packet of baby wipes and a golden retriever can you imagine the carnage LOL !!!!... she is at the moment quiet as sharing my hot cross bun !!

purps... oh your pool has come how exciting ... and huge amounts of luck to G for today honey let us know how it goes, i am sure he cant fail with all our positive vibes xx

malini.. you can come here and worry all you want honey thats what we are for, NEVER feel bad for doing that, at least tomorrow your mind will be at ease after you see your bub bouncing around xxxx ( i know you will still be worried though .. and when its born you will be the same .. isnt it Laura lol !)

right.. nappy to change !! xx


----------



## Malini

Oh good and kind women, no one has made me feel uncomfortable at all.  I just remember how tough every stage of this is and I don't want to moan about something that isn't anything other than a hunch at the moment and the madness of whirling mind.  Thank you for all your support and making me feel legitimate in my anxiety and ramblings.  I love that my sniffle is a symptom and not because I am so very cold.  Will the Spring ever show up?  I am not bah humbug about Winter usually but ENOUGH NOW!!!  Yesterday's sun was lovely and warmed my bones for a brief respite.

Too true Popsi about the ceaseless worrying.  I am now very clear that this is a permanent state of mind!!

M xxx


----------



## laurab

Pops - I was going to say that the worry never seems to go away!! My other suggestion was going to be to feed her! A box of raisons always works a treat!  

Mal - yup the sunshine over last few days lifted my mood too.


----------



## H&amp;P

Mal -     for your scan tomorrow, don't forget to let us know how you get on. Please don't worry about posting your worries on here, I love the fact that everyone is so supportive no matter what stage in the journey we are at and that the lovely ladies who have completed their journeys stay around to help the rest of us through whatever the world is throwing at us on any particular day   I know for a fact that if I ever get another elusive BFP I will not relax until I am holding a crying baby in my arms.

Anna (SB) - been thinking about you all morning (while on a 3hr conference call  )    

Popsi - has your last parcel arrived yet?


----------



## popsi

laura.. she loves raisins lol.. so yes good plan.. at the moment she is destroying a leaflet from next but quietly lol 


driver .. no honey not yet   .. how are you xxx

mal.. yes the sun was lush xxx 

purps xx


----------



## H&amp;P

popsi said:


> driver .. no honey not yet  .. how are you xxx


 should be with you this afternoon, coming by Fed Ex....(fingers crossed this time)


----------



## popsi

ok honey i promise i will let you know when it comes... i am just worried as you guys have been so kind i am sure all will be ok this time xxx.. hows things with you x


----------



## Malini

Driver, you have done a fabulous job co-ordinating and chasing up Popsi's presents for her princess.  Thank you    And also for your kind comments.  I will always post here.  I have tried to visit and read other threads but I come chasing back here because I feel VERY safe with you all.  And I know it is something special because there isn't the warmth and consideration on all threads that there is here.  3 hour conference calls sound hideous.  How do you concentrate for that long?!

I know Anna has to wait until the afternoon for any news.  This must have been a very long morning for you.   

The sun is peeking out from behind the clouds and I can feel my heart lift.  Oh, I do wish I wasn't quite so weather needy!!!

M xxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Popsi - I'm Ok thanks, counting down the days to our tandem, the lovely Heaps is bringing my drugs back, just hope the dreaded AF can hold out that long as I am due to start taking the pill on day one of my next cycle.......which could be anytime from next Monday to next Sunday   Just seen something funny, I ordered your last present from Pumpkin patch and have just typed in the ref into Fed Ex and it has been on one hell of a journey....

Mar 3, 2010 7:23 AMAt local FedEx facilitySWANSEA GB
Mar 2, 2010 7:41 PMIn transitSTANSTED GBPackage available for clearance
Mar 2, 2010 7:41 PMInt'l shipment releaseSTANSTED GB
Mar 2, 2010 5:51 PMAt dest sort facilitySTANSTED GB
Mar 2, 2010 5:26 AMIn transitMEMPHIS, TN
Mar 2, 2010 5:26 AMIn transitMEMPHIS, TNMar 2, 2010 5:26 AMIn transitMEMPHIS, TN
Mar 2, 2010 2:36 AMDeparted FedEx locationMEMPHIS, TN
Mar 2, 2010 1:01 AMArrived at FedEx locationMEMPHIS, TN
Mar 1, 2010 6:06 PMIn transitAUCKLAND NZ
Mar 1, 2010 4:43 PMLeft FedEx origin facilityAUCKLAND NZ
Feb 28, 2010 8:38 PMShipment information sent to FedEx
Mar 1, 2010 2:37 PMPicked upAUCKLAND NZ

I had no idea it was coming from NZ   

Malini - I have to lead the calls with people from the 4 Nordic countries so I have to concentrate very hard  , 3 x 1hr calls with the 4th one after I have eaten my lunch.....which is where I am going right bthis second....home made butternut squash and red pepper soup...yummy


----------



## popsi

crumbs !!!!!! driver thats one hell of a journey LOL !!! how mad is that ... 

aww bless heaps from bringing that back.. AF dont you dare show your face or you will have me to deal with   .. enjoy your lunch and good luck with the calls !!

malini.. the sun makes us all feel better honey .. i hate cold wet winter xx


----------



## Malini

Driver - That is seriously impressive!  As is the soup and that parcel's journey    Enjoy your lunch.  Going to make mine now.

M xxx


----------



## Jumanji

AngelLass - I couldn't agree more with the lovely Malini. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly clinics will trot out the DE speech.  Please know that my sister was told by her first clinic that DE was her only chance, yet another clinic said it was worth a go and the result is my nephew and niece. Plus, at 35, time is still on your side, whatever they say.  Personally, I would look elsewhere.

Wishy Washy - great to see you and many congratulations on your surprise BFP!

Nix - hello there!

Anne - hi there lovely one!

Malini - try not to stress.  I know it is hard but symptoms come and go in early pregnancy.  I remember driving to the supermarket in tears because I felt so symptoms all of a sudden and everything was fine.  Also, you may be getting to the stage when symptoms disappear anyway.  Please hang in there.  You are doing so well - I was a nervous wreck and hadn't been through your struggles to get where you are.  

Zuri - if you don't belong then I should definitely pack my bags!!  Good luck at work.

Mag - hello!

Spuds - hope the 2ww isn't driving you too nuts!

Tracey - hi there; can't help with the fertility monitor I'm afraid!

Nikki - congratulations on the arrival of Alexander.  I'm impressed you are online already.

Heaps - hi there sweets!  Best of luck with EC!

Driver - hello!

Jal - hope you made a decision regarding the polyp and congratulations on your fabulous haul of follies. 

LV - hello lovey!

Miranda - hi there!

Purple - getting big yet?  Glad the messages came back and congrats to your nephew. Is he off to Aylesbury Grammar?

Fishy - lovely to see you and hope you are ok!

Anna - best of luck; thinking of you.

Kate - I hope you are ok and I am so sorry someone has upset you.

Love to all I have missed and to newbies I don't really know!

I have to say that having my life (albeit indirectly) touched by IF is, i am convinced, making me a more patient parent.  However hard and frustrating it is, I will always look at Monty and think "I am so blessed to have you and so blessed that you came to me so easily".  I honestly and truly believe that you ladies will be the greatest parents because you will have struggled to get there in a way that I, and most others, have not.


----------



## purple72

Jenny so lovely to see you, your posts put us all to shame,

My nephew's off to St Anslems, he lives on the wirral, that's where I'm from only me down here in Aylesbury but maybe our little one will get there  

Any chance of some more pics of monty on ********, bet he's changed so much since the last batch!

Sx


----------



## Ourturn

Hi everyone 
Did two tests this am FR & CB digi both negative so pretty certain I know what the blood tests will say. 
I have just received a second blow. My Lad retest results are back and rather than going up, the already super low numbers have dropped even lower  
I know this means I will probably need to go back to athens for a 3rd lit. Will get in touch with Mr T. Just hope I'm not one of these women who need pooled (multiple donors)..if that's the case I would have to go to India!!!! 
Have booked a telephone consult with Mr G for Friday.
Have also decided I need to get myself booked in for a hysteroscopy as Mr G suggested I needed to get this done. Pretty sure my private health will cover this under recurrent mc investigations. 
Anyone know if this has to be done during a particular time in my cycle?
Then I wonder should I bother continuing with this? Is this the universes way of saying I should just stop? 
Thanks 
Anna x


----------



## purple72

Oh Anna hunny you're having such a tough ride sweetie this just isn't fair! I think at the moment your going through so much that any decisions can just be put on hold for a little while to let you at least get through what's happening right now. As for giving up NO I don't think it's a sign. I think YOU will be a mummy one day. That journey is tough as you've experienced so far but one way or the other YOU will get there!

Love and big hugs xxxxx


----------



## Han72

Ah SH1TE Anna but please wait til you see the numbers hon, I've had a -ive on the HPT and +ive on the bloods on the same day before.                     

And SOD the LAD hon, there's got to be more to it than that, so please don't let that be the deciding factor in what you do next, pretty please!  I hope this doesn't offend but from what I understand of LAD, it is usually low or negative if you've never been pregnant. If that's the case then how can a low LAD be a reason for infertility? It doesn't make sense cos if that was the case then noone would EVER get pregnant would they?

Personally I reckon that the 6 cell tried to implant and then changed it's mind but now the 2 cell is catching up and you'll see proof of that when you get your blood results later today                

Love to all, back later for more persos!

xxx


----------



## Han72

Heaps hon threeeeeeeee is the magic number, yes it is  Sorry you were tom and dick in the cab, poor you   Really hope you feel better soon so you can concentrate on sending positive vibes to your embies in the lab of luuuuurve        

xxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Heaps - Fab news, 3 is most definately the magic number, thank you again for "sorting" me out , hope the 3 are getting jiggy jiggy as we speak there will be Barry White blasting out from many a team PR hi-fi (do we still have those) or Ipod tonight

Anna(SB) - I am so sorry that the tests are coming up negative, I am sending you cyber  (I know they aren't as good as real thing but they are heartfelt) Hope you are doing OK, please don't make any decisions this week about anything it is all too raw for that at the moment  Sorry can't help with the hysteroscopy as I have never had one done.


----------



## Jal

Heaps - well done, good luck for the lurve lab tonight, thinking of you   

Anna - you're having a tough ride, still got everyting crossed , take care 

Hi LJ, I don't think I have been on since you had you're little one - huge congratulations, I'm sure you're an excellent mummy  

Hiya Purps  

Popsi - been following your story, I am so happy for you, DH and your little princess, made me cry the day you bought her home, sounds like she is an adorable little handful  

Hi to everyone else!!

We decided to go ahead and carry on til Friday at least, my consultant phoned today and said she really didn't think it was anything to worry about so we'll see what Friday brings. Went to the docs today and got signed off for 2 weeks, never done it before but I'm sure it gets harder everytime and I have a new boss so have to give 100% at work at the mo which I just can't so you should be seeing more of me on here as I'll have time to read and post!!
J x


----------



## purple72

Hey Jal sweetie, good news, and glad you'll be around more!!!

Heaps that's fab news hunny 4 eggs  and 3 that will get jiggy overnight!! Wonder who the turkish Barry white is? xxx

Dh failed his test but hey ho next time hey ladies xxxx


----------



## Han72

Yaaay Jal!  I think they were just covering their **** s before but, flippin' 'eck, how did I not think of the option to carry on to EC, freeze the embies and THEN do ET! Definitely hormonally challenged  More to the point why the HELL didn't THEY suggest it to you instead of scaring you with talk of cancellations  


Did somebody say that I should give Eurostar a piece of my mind I seriously don't think there's enough to spare


----------



## Jal

Purps - sorry he failed, but like you say .. next time.... and he has 5months or so before he needs to be fitting car seats!!

Thnx Nix, a day of worry and puffy eyes for nothing but glad we got to the right decision in the end I hope!!


----------



## popsi

anna..     to you darling xx your having a really tough time xx

purps.. sorry about G honey but i am sure he will pass next time xx

heaps.. hope you feel better soon .. 3 is brilliant xx

nix.. hey lady how are you xx

driver and all you other wonderful ladies.. our final parcel has arrived and OMG once again its absolutely adorable, the 2 dresses are so what I would have chosen and will suit our little princess .. she is going to look FAB once summer comes in them, again i am    at your genorosity xxxxx

right got to dash to make some food etc xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Heaps - well done you! Sedning organge fertilising thoughts your way      

Thanks everyone. I have a 6mm fibroid at the top of my uterus. The scanning nurses have always said its shouldn't cause a problem as its at the top of the uterus & the best place to have a fybroid if you're going to have one. BUT as I'm going to have a hysteroscopy, should I just get it removed whilst I'm under, or do you think I risk making things worse by the removal causing potential scarring?


----------



## laurab

Heaps - Fab news.     Good girl with the orange pants!

Anna - your having the crappiest of times.   Anything we can do? Maybe I can send you some chocolate?  

LJ - Hello!

Purps - Oh bum.  Never mind... when can he retest?

Pops - Ohhh pumpkin patch is LOVELY!! Our driver did well didn't she!


----------



## Han72

Hi again

Anna hon - I'd leave well alone if it's not interfering with anything...  what time do you get your blood results chickie?  

Purps - sorry DH didn't pass his test. But tell him only freaks pass first time SO THERE 

Aww popsi hon I so love reading your posts!  Are we really not allowed to see any pix 

Laura - sounds like you're talking about peestix   

xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Nix - thanks for you opinion

Laura - bless you. Wine..will be drinking a very large bottle of red wine when I get home tonight. 

As suspected bloods were negative. Sure it will hit me once af arrives.
Nurse is booking me a follow up with the consultant I am under (but never see as they use junior docs for free nhs cycle). Follow up would usually be pointless but I want to him to sort out me hysteroscopy. My private health care have appoved it so I can have it done in a nice nuffield hospital. 

Thanks for all your support ladies, means the world

Anna x


----------



## laurab

Anna - I'm so very very sorry.  

Nix - I so used to the peestix/ IF terminology!


----------



## Han72

Oh Anna hon, I am so sorry


----------



## Ourturn

Purps - sorry dh failed his test. I learned later in life and it is harder..took me 5 attempts, passed on my 31st b-day. I was with an instructor who I hated (and I hate his car) and my test centre had one of the lowest pass rated in the uk (I found out after my 4th attempt). So I booked 10 lessons with the aa driving school..rebooked my test and passed with them 1st time in a new test centre! 

x


----------



## Rural Chick

Anna           I am so sorry my lovely, this IF sh!t is so unfair.     
If it helps I have a 4mm fibroid on the anterior of my uterus and it wasn't even mentioned by the Lister when I had my hysteroscopy done. It might be worth asking at your next appointment but I would be inclined to leave well alone unless it really needs doing.
Loads of love and          to you and your DH
 sy xxxx


----------



## Jal

Anna, really really sorry    Enjoy your red wine


----------



## Rural Chick

Heaps -          for those eggies and      getting jiggy tonight in the lab of lurv xxxx So pleased you got my message.  

       to our PUPO Spuds and Nicki - nearly a week down - hurrah      

Malini -        for tomorrow.     

Love to everyone - sorry for lack of persos but I am absolutley knackered.   

 sy  sy xxxx


----------



## Ourturn

So embarassed. Just broken down at work. Can't stop crying. I have stepped in last minute to help out and someone has just given me a really hard time.


----------



## mag108

Annasobroody! Please take good care, give in to the tears
x


----------



## Miranda7

Oh, Anna. I'm so sorry.

Time to step away from work and declare a sickie to beat all sickies. Feck em. Just go home. Sink your teeth onto that wine and get a sick note for at least two weeks. Do it. Go now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Rural Chick

Anna - I second everything Mir and Mag have said - you need to put yourself first now


----------



## Züri

Anna I am so so soooooo sorry    xx


----------



## Malini

ASB - I am so sad with you. You've said before that you don't think you're brave well I DISAGREE. To step in and be willing to help someone at work is incredibly generous. Your spirit shines and that sign to me is more than any of the loss and pain you've endured. Being determined to seek your dream is what we all try to do and for too many of us on this thread that is very, very hard work. Sending you so many hugs and care.

Malini xxx


----------



## Malini

Heaps - so thrilled about your special three. I am sending you orange love.

Ahh Purps - sorry for dh. Been there done that and it feels like a kick in the teeth.

LJ - ta for your supportive, kind post. Very helpful. You sound more like you again, are you feeling brighter?

M xxx


----------



## purple72

Oh Anna sob hunny I wish things were different! I agree with what the other ladies have said, have some time to yourself, you deserve it, I hope the alcohol is going down nicely!

Thanks ladies for all you kind thought about DH but in the great scheme of things and certainly what some of our ladies are going through it's no biggy   

Love to all

Sx


----------



## Ocelot Cub

Long time no speak ladies   Been hiding  

Anna - so so sorry honey - this really is devastating for you I know. I wish I had some words of comfort but there are none that will really do I know   

Just popping in to say hi to all and give a bit of an update.  Just coming out of the shadows again after a bad couple of months. After christmas was out of the way B and I launched straight into crisis talks about relationship, started discussing the logistics of us splitting etc, at the end of Jan I went off to Paris for work and thought it would do us both good for me to be away for a few days, whilst I was away Ben called to tell me that one of my very best friends R had died tragically     . Its taking quite a while to process and get over, she was a very very close friend, in fact I don't think there was anyone I knew so well or knew me so well and my heart feels very empty  . This friend is also the angel who had offered to donate me her eggs. Ben and I were both close to R and so we have both been grieving for the past few weeks. I had my birthday at the weekend which was great (thank you for all your messages, cards and pressies you gorgeous   gorgeous gals) but turning 37 and not having had my period for 6 months was pretty hard to take and I was super super anxious when we went out on Saturday night. One of my friends who is a fitness freak and a size six turned up with a 'rounded' tummy, didn't drink, didnt eat cheese and left at 11pm, I put 2 + 2 together and made PREGNANT!! I managed to smile through it but once she had gone went to pieces, had a massive row with B and he stormed home!! I stayed out till 4am but was pretty upset and of course I have no idea if this girl is pregnant at all, probably isn't, just my overactive baby-bump-dar! This row stirred up all those splitting up conversations again and now I really don't know where we are. Anyway yesterday I started feeling really really tired and got some cramps in my tummy (dont worry girls you can read on, I am not pregnant!!) well today I got my period!!! Well I am pleased but I know it means nothing much, I had one in September and in April before that so I am not expecting it to be regular again. I guess I am pleased though as it means that official menopausdom is a little further away. Officially you are in menopause once you have missed your period for 12 months and yesterday I would have reached menopause in 6 months if I didnt have a period, now I have a year to play with again!!!! Sad that this is what makes me happy!! I have also had a period without taking DHEA, vitamins, TCM or anything else so at least I can feel okay about my new non medicated approach to my situation. Anyway I am really really waffling now and this is why I haven't posted for such a long time as I knew I would write a whole load of illegable boll0cks!! Miss you all and wish I could write more often, better posts, contribute more but I generally find it too hard these days, sorry    I am much better in person   

Love and hugs 

A xxxx


----------



## Swinny

Anna – I am so sorry. I can only imagine what you're going through having come so far with all of the additional treatment. I haven't got any wise words, only to say that we are all here for you and although this isn't a real life cuddle it's the biggest warmest cyber cuddle that I could possibly send . I think you were extremely brave today filling in and lending a hand...what you need to do matey is be completely selfish and think about No 1. Grab that bottle of wine and Mag's advice was spot on. Thinking about you and wishing it were different for you my lovely  

Malini – How you doing chuck??

Heaps -    

Mag108 – remember count to ten and breathe...NO MORE STRESS!!!

Ally – Hello chickadee and Happy Belated birthday xxx It's lovely to hear from you xxx So sorry about the loss of your friend, that's so hard. You'll miss her everyday but she will always be with you in your heart and in your thoughts  

Hello to the rest of the gang, sorry for lack of personals

Love and kisses to you all

Sarah xxxx


----------



## purple72

Oh Ally hunny, Sending you all my love sweet Angel you really have had a tough old time, so very sorry to hear about your friend and the emotional upheaval you've had over the last few months.

I and no doubt many others miss you desperately but I understand COMPLETELY that sometimes FF is not the place you feel comfortable at times, but know even though you and others do not post regular we still care and are here for you as and when you need us! 

Won't go on cos I'll only waffle just know we're here for you xxx


----------



## laurab

Anna - Wine, sofa and duvet, and yes go cry at the GP tom and get signed off. be selfish.  

Ally - Hello sweetie.  I'm always here if you want to talk. I can't imagine how you mustbe feeling, losing a friend, rocky relationship and IF.  I'm amazed you are keeping it together at all.      Hoorah for AF.


----------



## popsi

annasb... you take the advice of miranda honey its perfect xxxx

mir. .. how did you get to be so wise xx

ally darling, lovely to hear from you, but so so sorry your going through all this [email protected] at the moment, you know how sorry I am about your friend darling    ...  its just not fair that someone so beautiful inside and out as you are has to deal with all this xxxx

much love to you all.. i am off for an early night to do a nice bit of reading Marian Keyes new book xxx


----------



## purple72

enjoy your book Pops i just finished one of hers today twenties girl, nice book x


----------



## popsi

purps..she is my favorite author... i think twenties girl was Sophie Kinsella though i could be wrong LOL !! xx


----------



## Miranda7

Oh Ally - Jesus, I wish I could rub out some of this awfulness for you. I could wring Ben's neck for the crap he's giving you at this most horrid of times. Silly man.

So sorry to hear about your friend. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## purple72

Pops i think you're right I have so many I read 3 or 4 a week at the moment all thanks to the local british red cross shop, I tend to go for kinsella, marian Keyes and Jodi piccoult at the moment xxx

I should put up a list of what I've got and send them out if you haven't read them xxx


----------



## Donkey

Sorry I'm so behind, dh had had norovirus (sp?) and I've been feeling odd, plus a hectic time at school feeling very sick  

Any way Anna I have pm'd you  

heaps - good luck  

Great to hear from Ally and LJ  

I will catch up properly at the weekend, have parents eve tomorrow and then the leadership team is going for INSET (staff training ) at a posh hotel friday and saturday. 

The kittens are lunatics nad called Florence & Henry  

Love you all
xxxx


----------



## Kittycat104

Anna - so so sorry.  I know there is nothing I can say to make it better.  Like the girls have said, put yourself first, and dive into that bottle of wine.  

Ally - I am quite new on here, so we haven't really met, but feeling your post made me    Sounds like are having a really hard time.  Hang in there x

Heaps - fingers crossed for love action in the lab tonight.  

Popsi - sounds like you are really enjoying life as a mum!

Hello to everyone else.

AFM - DHEA arrived - am going for 2 x 25g AM and 1 PM on the basis that I haven't got a lot of time to kickstart before next TX.  Do people think this is OK?  Had some emails back from Ugur today.  Am a bit confused by it all - just going to pop over to the Jinny thread for advice - see some of you there xx


----------



## Spuds

Evening Girls

AnnaSB - Sweetheart - I am so very very sorry      I get so cross because you have been through so so much and you are so incredibly brave - a real beacon of light - and you have been dealt such a rough deal - I wish I could do something to make you feel better but would second what the girls say - this is you time - get yourself home tuck into some wine and sign yourself off work - you need time out to heal my love           

Heaps -      what did I say, what did I say   3 is the magic number and Bazza White is on loads of luck    

Ally - bl**dy hell you are having a rough time - so sorry to hear about your friend - cant imagine how you must be fealing     we are here for you love anytime 24/7 xxxxxxx

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## Spuds

Sorry have to keep posting in two halves - and sorry not much on the persos - am cream crackered - first day back to work and can you believe all hell breaks loose  squirrels yes squirrels have eaten through the electrics in the office and the whole team were blagging it on the work front as no phones or computers etc - its like having 5 x 5 year olds to look after !!! Then DH'd BIL called - DH's Mum n Dad had been in a minor car accident in Jersey - bl**dy lucky they got away with scratches !!! We cant get there quick enough !!

2WW Madness update - boobs still sore - sleeping between 5-7pm - zita on ye old headphones - getting anxious/panicky / trying not to think too far ahead and deal with stuff day by day  

Sending loads of love to you all
Spuds
xxxx

So


----------



## lucky_mum

Anna - so, so sorry hon  am absolutely gutted for you, life is so unfair  - sending you huge   

Heaps - great news re your 3 eggs - hope the immature one catches up and you get 100% fertlisation   

Ally - great to see you sweetie, and so, so sorry that life has been so awful for you recently - always here for you lovely Ally if you need a shoulder or just to get away    yay! for the  !

Malini - good luck for your scan tomorrow   and hope you will feel greatly reassured afterwards! 

Spuds - glad DH's M & D not badly hurt - huge    for your 

Sorry this is short and sweet but need to go to bed, am dead on feet with a yucky cold, which my teething dinky dot now has too, lots of love to everyone!


----------



## Lulu40

Book marking


----------



## H&amp;P

Ally - , think we need to arrange that summer picnic we all talked about so that we can hand out some 3d hugs 

malini -    for you scan today. 

Heaps -    for your phone call this morning

Spuds & Nicki - has the 2WW driven you insane yet   

Anna - please look after yourself and do not worry about breaking down at work I think sometimes it is good to show others that we aren't made of stone and all this is affecting us.


----------



## SiobhanG

Hi, just wanted to say AnnaSB I am so, so sorry, it is all so heartbreaking. There’s nothing much I can say, only empathise with the pain you are in. 
I feel since I was given my “news” last year I haven’t had one day where I don’t wake up with a knot in my stomach and a sinking heart. And then we put ourselves through IVF which is like living on knife edge. You will find the strength to get through this, take it easy on yourself for while.

I would also like to apologise for dipping in/out of the thread. I use a computer all day at work and have to avoid using it too much at home as I suffer with RSI, so I never really get to know people as much as ‘d like, I hope you all don’t mind that I pop in and out. Of course usually I am asking questions, as I feel I lurch from one IF crisis to another - I feel sometimes that you lot are far more knowledgeable that half the consultants I’ve seen! I do have a question for anybody who can help. Has anybody who has been on DHEA noticed a change in their cycle length? I’ve been taking it for two months and I just ovulated on Sat/Sun but now I seem to be getting weird twinges as if AF is coming on. This happened me last month as well and I started my period 4 days early, I took a pregnancy test and got a very very faint positive – at the time I thought perhaps it was a chemical pregnancy, but now am beginning to think that the DHEA has shorted my luteal phase (or is it just the further decline of my ovaries?) If anybody has had anything similar happen I would love to know. Not sure whether to carry on with the DHEA or cut down?


----------



## Malini

Morning all. I am distracting myself in London which isn't so bad really.

Anna - I imagine you woke this am and wanted to shut your eyes again immediately. I send you every bit of strength I can muster.
Heaps - I find waiting for this call the most difficult part of the whole process. I am hoping.

Mash and Nicki - Car accident! Yikes! 2ww hopes high for you both.

Siobhan - Sorry can't help as I fell out with DHEA very quickly but don't mind how much or little you post here. This community is strong and different people have more or less time depending on lots of things and that's all good.


Ally - Sweet woman you deserve so much better. Your dad, then your friend and troubles in your own health added to by relationship woes. It is too much. You are inspirational in your drive to keep going. Wishing you so much more luck. So pleased AF showed up and you have another 12 mos. I believe in miracles and you're on my list for one.

Sarah - I read your post to Dh last night and he smiled and said sounds like she's from somewhere near to me. He's from Atherton. I am well thanks and trying to keep a handle on my overactive imagination. How are you?

Thanks for all the good wishes for my scan this afternoon. I shall update you all asap.

A grateful for all of you and mindful of our heavy hearted friends,
Malini xx


----------



## Little Me

Hi all 

Just wanted to see  how Anna was.....
Anna hun- Words seem inadequate, I  am truly sorry for you and D hun, really is the biggest load of s hit and you don't deserve this, I am thinking of you. And please, have some time off work    

Alls- Hun, thanks for sharing with us hun, I know we've been in touch but heer is a     .

Mal- Thinking of you this avo hun   

Me and Jas are having a curry with Shortie & Scottie nex sat ladies so I will give some hugs from you all  

Sorry I'm rubbish at personals at the mo


----------



## Jumanji

Purple - sorry about the driving test; driving and me don't mix at all. I failed first time too and was a late starter cos I just hated the thought of learning to drive. My parents got me a car for my 17th birthday and I had a right hissy fit cos I had told them I didn't want to learn to drive!! Even now I only have an automatic licence - I gave up with the manual! Better luck to DH next time - he'll get there; if I can then anyone can!

Anna - I know you feel almost beyond comfort now but please don't give up. Do remember you have only just found out the root of your difficulties so you really are at the beginning rather than the end. Now is not the time to think about giving up because you are bound to feel hopeless but do give yourself time and thinks won't look quite so bleak. You didn't give up on the driving so don't give up on this! And don't worry about breaking down at work - it just doesn't matter; I would take a couple of "mental health" days - sometimes you have to do that and people do so with far less "reason" than you.

Jal - glad you made the decision to carry on.

Popsi - I do hope your little princess is still doing well.

Zuri - I have just noticed you have lost 38lbs!! Fantastic. I still have about 12lbs of baby weight to shed!

Malini - thanks for your kind concern; there are some rough days but I am feeling a lot better now - the fog just seemed to lift. Thinking of you this afternoon and hoping all goes well.

Ally - I am so very sorry about R and I hope you are ok. I am also sorry you have been through such a tough time with Ben and I honestly hope you can sort things out. I sometimes think it must be so hard for a man to understand what you have been through a continue to go through. That said, I am pleased AF arrived since it does signal hope. Do not underestimate the possible impact of stress on things - and you carry a lot of stress. As I think I have told you one of my friends in the US didn't have AF for 2 years, was diagnosed with premature menopause at age 32 and then suddenly, AF returned as normal just as the lady's DH returned from Iraq. Stress can do strange things to your body.

RC - I can't believe you are 22 weeks along already.

Swinny - good to see you!

Donkey - kittens? How lovely!

Louise - hello!

Miranda - hi there!

Laura - hello lovely!

Spuds - glad DP's parents are ok and I had to laugh about the squirrels!

Steph - I am still awestruck at how pretty Vivvy is!

Driver - hello there!

Siobhan - I cannot recall where now but I do remember reading that some women on DHEA experience shorter cycles. Take a look at the attached link too - seems you are not alone.

http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/alternative-treatment/523344-dhea-change-cycle-3.html

Anne - glad you are going to see Kate; please send love and hugs.

Nix - hello!

Love to everyone else.

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## kitten77

hello everyone, i am still reading but you ladies dont half talk, hard to keep up and i pop on about 3-4 times a day and still loads to read, i love it tho!!!! 

siobhan - DHEA, glad you mentioned this. i had my 5th failed tx in nov 09, AF after that was 34 days, dec 33, started DHEA half way through jan, jans AF 33 days, feb af 31 days..... march AF (started last nite) 27 days!!!!!!!!!!!! whats that about, and did wonder until ive jsut read about DHEA and now wondering if it is that!?!?!?! or hopefully the fact that im getting back to 'normal' as i was a 28 day girl. 

kittens kittens? whos getting kittens? have i missed something!?!?!?!?!


----------



## Ourturn

Just a quicky as I have grabbed a bite to eat as I am in back to back interviews today.
Thanks so much for your kind messages they made me cry  
The person at work left a voice mail on my phone last night and my boss rallied round which was nice. 
I do not feel I can take any time off as 
a my sick pay is v poor, 10 days full pay only then stat pay! 
b if I need even more tx don't feel I can 
c going to need sick days for this op I'm going to have. 

But I finish for the weekend tonight so will collapse in a heap then. 
This has hit dh hard and he is very freaked out about my my lad llevels. Dt T from athens replied last night and said I should have a 3rd lit, he will check out which donor he used and may use pooled donors. He thinks the ivig or humira could have caused this. 
We will not look at any tx until my lad is sorted.
Need to look at options. Tandem cycle is a possibility but as dh and I share the wosert dq alpha match...4.,1 we have a 25% that each embie will be a 4.1 and therefore most likely to  fail...so combined with my diminishing resevre it might be worth going staright to de in cyprus. Need to investigate more. DH has for the 1st time ever mentioned adoption..but that it would need to be an infant..so if not possible her look at over seas. 
Anyway got to dash
Thanks again 
Anna x


----------



## swallowtail

Hello ladies  
I hope you don't mind me posting on the thread, I have just had one failed cycle and am waiting for my review. I was on 300 Gonal-F for 9 days (long protocol) and only had 2 follies so they cancelled our ivf cycle before EC. It got converted to iui but we got a bfn.
I wanted to ask your advice really. They mentioned I could be on the short protocol next time, so I presume I miss out D/R. I wondered if they use the same stimming drugs for this as the long protocol? 
Also if I only get two or three follies next time, can I 'insist' on going to EC even though I am NHS? It's our second and final go on NHS so I am keen to try and get to EC at least. Do they monitor you more closely? I just wonder how my day 5 bloods were fine then day 9 our scan showed not much was happening. 
Also my FSH was 11.8 so whilst it's not ideal I did not think this was really bad? Can anyone tell me if this is classed as low ovarian reserve? 
Hope ok to ask so much, I know I am quite young and only had one cycle but I suppose I feel a bit worried as I feel the next NHS one could be our last.
Many thanks and sending tonnes of luck to you all xx


----------



## H&amp;P

Kate - welcome and sorry that you have just had a cancelled cycle and your IUI was not successfull, you are correct that on SP you miss out the DR phase (it means your full cycle will only take about 2 weeks), they may use the same drugs (most NHS clinics tend to stick to one type, but based on your last response may increase the dose (us poor responders have been known to go up to 450 or even 600 menopur) As for going to EC it does somewhat depend on the clinic on my NHS cycle I went to EC with 3 follies and on my self funded cycle I went to EC with only 2, it can sometimes be down to how forceful you are in wanting to carry on, it sounds like at least you have a good NHS clinic as they are checking your bloods as well as scanning you (not many do that) In terms of FSH I have copied some info below (some clinics have a cut off at above 10 some at 15 and some but not many will treat above 15, but as we have said many times on here at the end of the day it is just a number, it is not the be all and end all and the numbers can go up and down each month.

Less than 9 Normal FSH level. Expect a good response to ovarian stimulation. 
9 - 11 Fair.  Response is between normal and somewhat reduced (response varies widely). Overall, a slightly reduced live birth rate. 
11- 15 Reduced ovarian reserve. Expect a reduced response to stimulation and some reduction in embryo quality with IVF. Reduced live birth rates on the average. 
15 - 20 Expect a more marked reduction in response to stimulation and usually a further reduction in embryo quality. Low live birth rates. Antral follicle count is an important variable. 
Over 20 This is pretty much a "no go" level in our center. Very poor (or no) response to stimulation. "No go" levels should be individualized for the particular lab assay and IVF center. 

Does your cancelled cycle count as a full NHS cycle? Sometimes if you cancle it doesn't and you can get the cycle again (but you might have to pay for the drugs), hope this answers some of your questions and good luck with your next cycle.


----------



## Malini

Sorry gang, more sadness. Our embryo's heart has stopped beating. 

Come on Heaps darling. I am wishing for you.

Malini xx


----------



## H&amp;P

Malini -   no words, just to send you all the love in the world, I am so sorry for you and your DH  , I hope you are not on your own and you can comfort each other at this time.


----------



## Ocelot Cub

Oh no no no Malini no     I am so so sorry sweetheart. Is there any way they could have got this wrong?? I am thinking back to what Lainey went through and praying that this is just a terrible mistake.


----------



## kitten77

oh Malini - i am so so so so sorry.  take care of yourself and DH and take comfort in each other, i am so sorry.


----------



## Little Me

oh god no, Mal, please let it be a mistake as Alls said.
please no, this can't be happening    
I am beyond gutted for you and hubs


----------



## lucky_mum

Oh Malini, nooooooooo, oh I am so, so sad for you, and your DH, how absolutely devastating.  I really don't know what to say, just know that we are all sending you so much love and thinking of you, take care sweetheart   

Gutted


----------



## SiobhanG

Malini

Nothing to add here only how sorry I am for you. 
Keep strong
X


----------



## SiobhanG

Forgot to say - Kitten77, 
AF after failed TX came early, Then 27 days which is normal for me. 
Last cycle 24 days. Not sure whether DHEA is causing this. Supposedly it does
but could our "low ovarian reserve" be shortening our luteal phase?
I am going to carry on with the 75mg for now (I have no other side effects) and see how this cycle goes....


----------



## Overthemoon

Malini sweetheart, Driver just told me your news and I am so totally gutted for you, it's devastating. I too am thinking along the lines of Ally though and wonder if they could have made a mistake like they did with Lainey? Words cannot heal the pain and grief you are feeling right now but all our thoughts are with you and DH.    

AnnaSB, I hope you got my text earlier on, just wanted to say how gutted I am for you too. You have come so far, please give yourself lots of treats and cuddles right now and draw some strength to go on with it, you will get there.   

This journey is so so hard and you all deserve so much more. I wish we could wave that magic wand and make everything alright  

Hi Kate, FSH varies quite alot from month to month and AMH gives you a better indication of ovarian reserve but numbers aren't everything and there are plenty of PRs here who have got pregnant with high FSH and low AMH. If it were a private cycle then you can push for EC even with 2 follies but NHS funded cycles may have strict protocols so you'd have to check with them.   

Ally, hugs to you lovely, was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were getting on. So sorry about your friends death, take time to grieve and for the wounds to heal, life is just not fair sometimes.   

Spuds and Heaps   

Lightweight xxx


----------



## Malini

Sadly no mistake - although I appreciate the optimism - its lifeless form was crumpled there at the bottom of the sac. Not dancing.
Malini xx


----------



## Little Me




----------



## H&amp;P

Malini -


----------



## LV.

Oh Malini, my heart sank to the pit of my tummy when I read your post. This journey is so cruel and unjust, I wish I could change this for you both. My thoughts are with you both

xxx


----------



## dimsum

Sorry Malini - that really is sh*t


----------



## Little Me

words can't describe how angry and sad I feel for our Mal


----------



## Nikki2008

Malini I am so sorry don't know what to say


----------



## Malini

I am ok. Thank you for all your kindness. But enough, let's get the orange love going again.

Heaps - Pls don't not share your news bc of me.

If I know anything. I know this pain isn't personal because all of you deserve your dreams as much as me. This just sucks.


----------



## Jal

Malini, I am so very very sorry for you and DH, life is so unfair, take care   

Ally, good to see you but sorry to hear of your troubles, you are one strong lady and I know you will come out with everythig you deserve, it's just a Sh*t journey getting there.

J xx


----------



## H&amp;P

Heaps - do you have fertilisation news?   

Malini - you are one strong brave lady and I know when I had my BFP that all too quickly disappeared (I am not saying that is anywhere near what you have been through), it was lovely to get all the messages from the girls but I also wanted the thread to continue with the messages for others as well.  Hope you are being looked after at home


----------



## H&amp;P

Oh god hope that came across how it was meant  , got to go home now. Hope I'm allowed back.  

Malini - Princess Pixie sends her love from Milan


----------



## purple72

Malini hunny,

Driver's just made me aware of your news! I'm so so very sorry sweetie. My heart Aches for you and DH! I so wish things were different but know you're in our hearts and thoughts

Biggest hugs Sxxxx


----------



## Rural Chick

Malini   - RH and I are thinking of you and DH. if there is anything we can do...                   

Anna - I can see what you are saying about your sick days but please do have some time if you need it     

Ally -       

Heaps - any news for us?       #

Love and        to everyone.
**** sy **** sy xxxx


----------



## Malini

Driver - You're a gem. Xxx


----------



## purple72

Heaps hunny we're all thinking of you xxxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Oh my, and now I look like a blabbermouth but knew there weren't many people on-line this afternoon and wanted to get messages of support to you and your DH......  think i will go and hide in a corner for a while until I'm allowed back out  

Malini - thanks


----------



## purple72

No Driver, I and am sure many others really appreciated it! I was at work this aft and had no access to internet but was desperate once I'd got your text. Thank you for letting me know, i feel like one of my sisters has recieved the bad news! We are one big family here and Malini Darling I grieve for you hunny xxxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Ok. I was a little surprised by this. Course it is funny too.

I guess I am not sure what is going on because I am new to this thread but it seems there is not a lot of great news going on...I guess I am not really sure what to do really.... 

I guess I was hoping to ask if anyone knew about what is exactly an estrogen protocol is since I am a poor responder but I don't know if anyone is up to answering since I don't exactly know what it is...


----------



## Rural Hick

Malini

So sorry to hear your bad news today.  A big  to you from RC and I we are here for you if you need to talk. Sending you and DH loads of *ORANGE LOVE*.

RH


----------



## Malini

Have just read back to dh and he is sending his thanks for your support and care, especially to Driver. Silly you - I appreciate that you took time out of your busy day to summon support for us. Out from the corner. M xxx


----------



## Han72

Malini darling, I'm so sorry      There are no words (well not printable ones anyway  ) and I'm just sorry I couldn't get on here sooner and I didn't have your moby number on me to send you a text when I heard the news.  I don't know if you're in London or oop north but I'm gonna be in the smoke on Tuesday if you want to meet up for hugs, tears, booze, retail therapy, whatever you need hon, please know that I'm there for you!                       to you and DH

Driver sweetheart, please don't apologise, I wanted to thank you for letting me know as I hadn't been online all day.  Bless you, it was such a lovely thoughtful thing to do so please don't feel embarrassed or that you were out of line!      

I think this board has to be right up there in the top 3 on FF for heartfelt support...  Did I ever tell you guys how much I love you all? I actually think the best thing that ever happened to me was being incorrectly labelled as poor responder otherwise I might never have found you. 

xxx


----------



## Han72

On a lighter note, it has just occurred to me that my newly dreadlocked hair actually makes me look almost exactly like my avatar...


----------



## Han72

Hello wishingforanangel (oh dear we're going to have to do something about that username, my fingers nearly fell off typing it! Stick around chick and I'll find you a suitable nickname! One that's shorter  )

Sorry lovey you've joined the thread at a bit of a sad time but it's not usually like this, honest!  Also just to explain **** sy is actually RC aka Rural Chick 

In answer to your question, our resident Estrogen Priming Protocol expert Sam22 doesn't really come online that much because she's looking after her new baby  (so you know that EPP works then  )  Bear with me and I'll try to find a link to one of her messages on the subject....

Sorry no more persos, will be back on later for a proper catch up!

Love to all!

xxx


----------



## Züri

Been at work all day with no FF access, just got home and checked in and I am devastated for you Malini, so so sorry - just can't believe it, I want to swear lots! thinking of you and DH


----------



## Rural Hick

It must be nice to have hair ..........


----------



## beachgirl

Malini    oh hun, words can't express how sad I feel..I'm so sorry to hear your heartbreaking news...take care off each other x


----------



## mag108

*Malini: * I am so so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you both. Please pm me if/when you will be up North to meet up.
Theres nothing any of us can say that will ease the pain but I hope it helps knowing that we are here, you are not alone. And we are all wishing you well.xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Nikki2008

Wishingforamiracle I posted on  Estrogen Priming on 2. March page 3 of this thread.


----------



## Han72

Ooh Nikki - so you did!  I am   What's worse is you're supposed to be the one with baby brain!  I am officially hormonally challenged 

xxx


----------



## Nikki2008

As it happens Sam is the expert I remember I exchanged some emails with her on this and she had really researched this. I can't even remember the details of my protocol but it did work


----------



## Swinny

Malini i am so very sad at the news. Driver emailed me today but i had no access as my work internet was down. I am devastated for you. How cruel is this journey!!! I am totally with Purps, kick one of us and the rest of us limp. Are you up North? If you are I am available for hugs and I've a massive shoulder that you could borrow!! Oh and yes Atherton is just up the road from me in Summerseat (near Bury).    

Driver = Thank you for being such a thoughtful friend. Mal needed us and you let us all know


----------



## nicki70

Malini -     I'm so sorry.


----------



## purple72

Nix am smiling that you now match your Avatar!! Big hugs missus we all love you too xxxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Nixf01 said:


> Hello wishingforanangel (oh dear we're going to have to do something about that username, my fingers nearly fell off typing it! Stick around chick and I'll find you a suitable nickname! One that's shorter  )


 . If you have a short nick cool although some of the other ladies i have been talking with have been abreviating with wfaa...course sometimes i forget its me 

Thanks Nixf01 and Nikki2008 for the info on estrogen priming and where to find it. I don't really have a problem using donor eggs but I keep thinking it might be better for the baby to be genetically mines...I worry that the baby would have a hard time if s/he ever felt that he/she was given up by his/her biological donor.


----------



## nicki70

Girls. 

This 2ww malarky is seriously sending me    .  Can't believe I've still got another week to go!  Had a teeny, tiny bit of pinkish spotting earlier & have been knicker checking ever since.  So scared it's the start of AF, still have slightly sore (.)(.) & still getting crampy feelings - I Just want to know now if Precious has stuck around...!


----------



## Swinny

Heaps -     Sending lots of orange love to you and DH


----------



## Malini

Not given up Wishing. But a GIFT from one woman to another. I believe in sisterhood.

Heaps - Hurrah! I am not so patient either. Here's hoping for those two precious beauties.

Taken a leaf out of our special Shortie's book and ordered dh and me a BIG curry. 
She is a clever woman.

Malini xx


----------



## Miranda7

Oh Malini. You poor sausage. I'm so very sad for you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## popsi

oh no Malini.. i am so      for your news .. i only just seen the posts, have not had much time to get online today ... my heart breaks for you and your DH xxxx

love to you all xx


----------



## purple72

Malini hunny, enjoy your curry and crack open a nice bottle of something to go with it! 

Big hugs to you and DH we are all thinking of you xxxx


----------



## shortie66

Malini thought long and hard about posting tonight but i just have to push my own fears and emotions to one side for a while to give my friend some huge cyber        and tell you im gutted for you darling  So so wish this had not happened to you darling its all just so unfair.        Thinking of you and dh and hoping that you find comfort in each other


----------



## Lilly7

Malini; I don't know what to say, this is so unfair and I'm so so sorry.  
My Love and good thoughts are with you and DH.


----------



## Han72

Rural Hick said:


> It must be nice to have hair ..........


Get a weave darling....    Or ask the girls who cycled with me last time about the wig... that was fun when I went to acupuncture and she wanted to put a needle in the point at the top of me 'ead     Although not as much fun as the time I overheated on the tube and tried to remove my hat and the wig came away with it     

*Heaps - sending you soooooo much orange lurve, you must feel like you've been tango'd   *

Yo Shawtie!  bless your heart that must have been flipping hard coming on here and posting!


----------



## Malini

All your messages mean so much to me but KC I am super touched. Please know that I am wishing so hard for you and everyone else AND when you all have little ones I am going to tour the country and teach them naughty Cdn words. 
Malini xxx


----------



## Han72

Ooh teach me some now!


----------



## Malini

You're so naughty Nix. When you have your twins, I'll teach them! Bilingual ones. M xxx


----------



## laurab

Sorry just back from college/ work so not read through properly.

Malinin, i do not know what to say.   I'm sending you a huge hug and am thinking of you.  How devastating.  Wish I could do or say something.


----------



## Han72

Malini said:


> You're so naughty Nix. When you have your twins, I'll teach them! Bilingual ones. M xxx


Deal! But are Canadian rudies the same as french ones tho?? Cos if so I'm pretty fluent already [email protected] de b0rdel de [email protected]

Oohlalaaaaa


----------



## Malini

You have to do it with a Quebec lilt and a 15thC twist Nix. Kiddies use 'poutine' as a cover word.
Thanks Laura. You must be tired. Take care,
Malini xx


----------



## Spuds

Oh Malini no -           - I am so so sorry honey - my heart is bleeding for you and DH - this is so bl**dy rotten and unfair - I dont know what I can say to make anything better at all just know that you are very very dear to me and I wish I could give you a bl**dy big hug right now     - head in a bottle of wine and a mountain of curry - whatever you need go for it !!

Its so true what Nix said - and I'd second that I'm so pleased I found you lot - you are my virtual sisters and I love you. 

Spuds and Spuds DH 
xxxxx


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - I am devestated for you both       Its so bloody unfair, sending you both huge       Hope Charlie is giving you lots of loving cuddles. 

Heaps - sending orange vibes your way     

Sorry no more personals shattered...only got home recently worked a 12 hour day, but it was productive and took my mind of everything. So sad about our lovely Malini's news. Life can be so cruel  

Anna x


----------



## mag108

love to all my pr ers. You're a great bunch of gals and guy.

My week has been mental. Too mental for words. I have ended up with: colposcopy March 13, pre-op March 15, Hysteroscopy March 19.
Had a health scare on Tues, basically have had shortness of breath for a while so finally went and had an ecg (normal) and a chest xray. Asst radiologist said he needed to show a Dr the xray results (me worried), then said ,' you are free to go'. I asked was 'everything ok', hes said, 'I cant say, you're not feeling unwell or anything?', So I left, totally freaked out and convinced I had Lung cancer (and of course I googled later). Didnt sleep Tues nite of course. My lovely GP called Weds and soothed me but I do have to go to a chest clinic. Christ on a bicycle. I should just move to hospital. Years and years on no doctors or hospitals now its every week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xxxx


----------



## Jumanji

Malini - there are no words; I simply cannot express how sad I am for you.   

kate77 - an FSH of 11 isn't that bad; my sister's was double that! Also 300 isn't anything like a high dose - I am sort of surprised they didn't give you more of a boost given your slightly higher FSH but I know clinics can be cautious on dose. And most ladies here (SoBroody Anna being the exception!) do respond better on the short protocol.

Siobhan - there is lots written about shorter cycles are lowering ovarian reserve but, seriously, our cycles vary for a whole heap of reasons! Plus, my understanding is that the shorter cycle linked to age and lower ovarian reserve is caused by a shorter follicular phase - as FSH rises, the egg is pushed out quicker. I have definitely read research which shows that older women veer towards a shorter follicular, but not luteal phase. Hence, I don't think your shorter luteal phase is caused by this issue. Take a look at the below links.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12466381

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/journal/119537138/abstract?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0

LW - good to see you.

Heaps - congratulations on the fertilisation! Thinking of you for Saturday.

Nicki70 - pinkish spotting could well be implantation! Sorry the 2ww is driving you nuts!

Mag - I do hope you are ok.

love to everyone else.

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Malini

Oh Mag. I am so worried about you. You've been so stressed and now all this medical worry. You have time off after all those ops, yes? Big hugs.

Thanks Lj.

The early morning can't sleep, feel panic jag is back. I miss being so tired that my bed was a sanctuary. Dh keeps crying. I know it isn't my fault but I still feel guilty. Sigh.

Malini xx


----------



## Malini

Oh Anna. Thank you to you too. Hope you can rest today. Charlie stayed at our dogminder's last night as he hates it when we cry. We booked her in case we had reason to celebrate! He'll be home this morning and we'll head North to my Beloved Barn.

And Sarah, cheers for the offer of your shoulder. Hopefully I can join you and Mag for a coffee soon.

My personals are all over the place and I am sorry for that. My mind is not a safe place atm.

Hope you're feeling better Steph, and Vivvy too.

M xxx


----------



## beachgirl

Malini    to you both x


----------



## Malini

Thanks Beachy. I wish you didn't know how this feels. Are you always up so early? 
Mala xx


----------



## beachgirl

Mailni   it's just something that stays with you forever sadly....  ..yes always up early...my girl cat thinks 4am is time to get up each morning...

Morning Heaps


----------



## H&amp;P

Malini said:


> And Sarah, cheers for the offer of your shoulder. Hopefully I can join you and Mag for a coffee soon.


 me too please, I will be heading over that way soon to get my drugs from Heaps 

Beachie - look forward to a 3D hug later 

Heaps -   

Anna(SB) -  hope you and DH are doing OK 

Malini - , I think a hug from your Charlie would be amazing and I hope one day to be able to meet him and have one (yes i still want a dog and can't have one )

Nikki & Spuds -    when are your OTD's


----------



## fluffy jumper

Malini darling I just don't know what to say.  I just logged on and read your devastating news.  If only I could do or say something which would offer you even a tiny bit of comfort.  This is just so unfair, it just breaks my heart.  It is natural to feel a tiny bit that it is your fault but it definately isn't.  I know your heart is breaking not only for yourself but for DH too.  Look after yourselves   

I made it to Benin in the end.  The training has gone very well and we now have one day in Benin to meet some beneficiaries and go to the CARE office.


----------



## H&amp;P

Tracey - so pleased the training went well, hope you got the Skype sorted so you have been able to talk to max while you have been away, are you travelling home this weekend? Safe journey


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - sending you huge           

Malini & dh           

Ally - so sorry you have had such a hard time        

LJ - lovely to have you back, your wise advise has been missed!

Heaps - have a good day, hope the sun is shining for you  

Spuds & Nicki sending you       

Nix - I love your avatar  

Beachey, Driver  

Tracey - glad it went well! 

Hi Anne, RC, RH, Swinny, Purps, Donkey, LW, Anna and everyone I've missed 

No work today thank god. Got in at 9.30pm last night. Dh was cooking but the kitchen was full of smoke. I lost it with him and took over   Felt really bad and did say sorry. Can only seem to drink one glass of wine...any more than that I get a huge headache so can't even get P*ssed! 

Have accupuncture then a telephone consultation with Mr Gorgy this afternoon..better get my list of questions ready. AF still not here  

Anyone here heard of the menstrual blood test done in greece? It can detect a latent chlamydia infection which is further up in the uterus and is not detected by the blood test they do in the uk? If positive you need x3 months of strong antib's. You can send the blood over..think I'm definately going to this. One lady I met in Greece has had this done and has had a positive result. 

Anna x


----------



## mag108

its friday and I cannot get myself in gear to go to work!

Mal: hope your northern retreat brings you and DH some solace.
Stomp the hills. You've been through so much. take good care.

littlejen: Hope all is going well for you! You will be our early poster!

Heaps: sounds like its all going good! enjoy

Driver: of course! !!!

Tracey you are doing really well. 

xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - should you be going to work hun?


----------



## mag108

anna


----------



## H&amp;P

sobroody1 said:


> Anyone here heard of the menstrual blood test done in greece? It can detect a latent chlamydia infection which is further up in the uterus and is not detected by the blood test they do in the uk? If positive you need x3 months of strong antib's. You can send the blood over..think I'm definately going to this. One lady I met in Greece has had this done and has had a positive result.


 I stumbled on a post on FF about this yesterday and was shocked, off to find the link now so you can all have a read:-

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229669.msg3617926#msg3617926


----------



## Spuds

Morning ladies

Cant be rsed to get to work on time today   manager lol

Mal - sending you loads of      honey - you are not to blame its 'justice of the sh*t order' that is - sending you some virtual hugs    

Heaps - loads of theses for you hun how r you doing       

Nicki - hope its not driving you too    

Its official girls - complete loppy loo last night - listened to the zita cd and fell asleep by 8pm ! then up to eat - felt sick - stress headache can only describe as being in my eyes ?! - then couldnt sleep - awful nightmare of being sucked down a black hole through my wardrobe (too much watching being human) and woke up shouting 'help me' !!! blo*dy hell and still 5 days to go till OTD....!!

Off to Zita today for acc and counselling bl**dy good timing !!!

Sorry for me post

Love you girls

spuds
xxx


----------



## laurab

Malini - was thinking of you all night.  Please dont blame yourself, hard I know but you did everything you could for that little bean.  

Anna - Hope you have a resful day off.  Maybe switch to spirits.

Heaps - I've not read back yet bt sound like you got a good fert.  

Spuds -  

Back after I've hada read through yesterdays posts.


----------



## almond

I'm just popping on to send   to Malini. This is devastating and I feel sick for both of you. It's things like this that really show me that things don't "happen for a reason", horrible, cruel things happen with no rhyme or reason and it is so unfair. I wish I had words, but I don't. We are thinking of both of you constantly  

Anna - am so sorry too  

Lots of love to all of you here 
xxx


----------



## Little Me

A quick one from me as feeling a bit off again,

Just wanted to give Malini & Anna the biggest      , have been thinking of you both lots.

Heaps    

Just typing my email to Romina with all my details so they can start looking for my donor. I feel sad but hey. it's gotta be done I guess  

Lots of love and happy weekends to all
xxxxxxx


----------



## swallowtail

Just popping in to say   to Malini and Anna. I am new to the thread but read your heartbreaking news.   

Thanks driver225 for all your info, that was very helpful.

Kate x


----------



## wishy-washy

AnnaSB – Wanted to give you a huge  , what a rollercoaster you’ve been on this week. So sorry it wasn’t the outcome we all wished for.      

Malini – I’m gutted for you and your DH. Life can be so cruel. I feel so sorry for the pain you’re experiencing. I know it took a few weeks for it all to properly sink in when we had a scan and found the heart had stopped beating. I just want to send you lots of love and hugs to help you at this sad time. I hope your dogalog Charlie will look after you both.      

Ally – I can’t believe what life has thrown at you. You are so strong coping with everything. Huge   s and I truly hope things start to brighten up in your life.      

Heaps –      for Saturday. 

Nicki – I think spotting is a good sign as someone else said implantation bleed. I just realised your from Farnham. I grew up near there and that’s where I did my art foundation, lovely place. 

Spuds – Hope the 2WW doesn’t send you to potty. Aren’t vivid dreams a symptom? My sis is pregnant and she dreamed that she was living back at our parents house and gave birth to their cat whilst having a shower. 

Anne G –  

Mag – I hope everything goes ok at the chest clinic. Sounds like you might need to get your mail redirected to the hospital if you’re going to be in that frequently.  

 and   s to everyone else


----------



## Clax

Dear FF, I am new to this site and not sure I’m in the right place but giving it a go.
I responded very well to the first IVF resulting in 2 top quality blastocyts. Unfortunately BFN... more investigation showed that I have a high % of Natural Killer Cells (NK cells).
So round 2 of IVF included some steroids to control the NK cells. I did not responded as well to the 2nd round and only produced:
4 eggs vs 17 the first time
1 nice quality embryo but slow developer v 2 top quality blastocyst the first time.

I am upset with the hospital as i feel they should have adapted my doses of Gonal when seeing i was not producing as many eggs ( even though we could see 8 on the scan, but 4 of them were empty shells).
Also, when only collecting 4 eggs I feel they should have forced nature a bit more and done ICSI to potentially have more embryos.
I spoke to a doctor on the day of ET and he did not have many explanations for me, apart that they work on retrospective and given I did so well on the 1st round, they gave me the same treatment... and that next time they'll adapts the treatment based on this cycle.
My question is: 
1/ Is it normal to have different cycles like I had?
2/ Do you think the hospital did the right thing, or shall I complain? I will have my follow up appointment with them soon and I would like to come as prepared as possible.
I thank you very much in advance for any help you can give me.
Best regards
Clax


----------



## Ourturn

Clax - welcome   You can produce very different results with the same protocol. This is because each month you have a different number of antral follicles to recruit. Reason ARGC have such good success rates (I think) is because they test your fsh before cycling and will only cycle when its a good month. 
If you have high nk cells then you MUST get the full immune (chicago tests done). I found out I had high uterine nk cells, took steroids and still miscarried. I went to see Mr Gorgy in London at the end of November, he did all the tests and it turns out high nk cell are just one problem. I need steroids but I also need a whole lot more! (See my signature) 
In your shoes I would not do another tx until I had the full immunes tests. Pricey but worth it. There is a thread for Mr G...Amin Gorgy Fertility Acadamy

Yes it sounds like they shoud have upped your dose of stimms if they could see you were not producing as many follies as last time. Re icsi...it was explained to me this way...if an embryo is going to fail having icsi will not change the outcome. Icsi is adding in an additional procedure which may be harmful. If you have a history of fertilising eggs without icsi they stick to normal ivf This is what they told me..do I believe them? Don't know. 

Anna x


----------



## Ourturn

Hi ladies 
Sorry I know its been posted before, but where is the best place to my micronised dhea from? Mr G is happy for me to take it.
Thanks
Anna x


----------



## H&amp;P

Anna - I got mine from here, came in 7 days. 

http://www.dhea.com/

How was your phone consult?

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## laurab

Anna - what did the Dr say?

Clax - Welcome, I think if you had 8 decent follies they shouldn't have upped your dose, really that is a good response and if you use too high dose you may have over stimmed based on your last cycle.  It may have helped if theyd checked your E2 levels to see if the follies had eggs, but not all clinics do this. How long between your cycles? what was your bloods like? FSH/ AMH etc?  Finger crossed it was just a bad month.


----------



## Clax

Thank you very much Anna for your advise. It helps a lot. I'm going to check out Dr G.
cx


----------



## Clax

Thank you too Laura for your comments. 
They did some regular blood test throughout the 10 days treatment, but i don't have the details myself. I trust them (Lister Hosp) to do the right thing... but will follow up more closely next time.
I did my first round in Sept, and just did the 2nd in Feb so 5 months in between.
I'll ask all your questions during my follow up appointment.
Yes keeping my fingers crossed and staying positive
Thanks again
Cx


----------



## veda

hello girls

been ages since i last posted but been on nights and days and am knackered! been trying to keep up on my i phone so i am sort of up to date.

malini im so sorry for you and dh. i have been where you are now and its such a sad place to be. as the others say there are no words to make it all better but im glad you are finding support and love on this board as its the one thing i think it excells in. take care of you.

anna i was so hoping your bhcg would be a good result.   to you both too. good luck with the dhea.

to the girls cycling and near otd i wish you all the best of luck.

purple i cannot believe how time is flying for you now. did your nt go well?

rc and rh im sure you guys are loving your growing bump. did you find out if you need pink or blue stuff at your scan? any dangly bits to see? hope you are both well.

to all the newbies welcome i hope you find these girls invaluable... i did!

afm i have put my f/u back until april as im on lots of nights but am sure i will have the de speech. out of 14 eggs only 3 embies with icsi... although we will use our frostie up at the end of the year before the wedding. does anyone know the difference between medicated and natural fet and what has the best chance? i have never had a fet before and we have only 1 and if it survives the thaw what is the best possible chance?

think im going to think about a de cycle at the jinny next year as a final final go if fet fails. how much time in advance do they need to arrange it all?

no more persos sorry as knackered.
going to curl up on sofa with pooch tonite. 

v
x


----------



## IzziLu

Oh girls, I've just been reading back and had a little weep to myself over the sad news that's been on here in the last couple of days    

I am so, so sorry Malini and my heart goes out to you   Life just is not fair sometimes    I can't pretend to know how you're feeling but I hope that you and your DH will get all the love and support you need to come through this and in time the pain will heal    

And AnnaSB I'm so sorry that things didn't work out for you this time   I think you are so brave and strong to be on here giving advise to others when your own experience must be so raw.  I truly hope you take the opportunity to get some quality 'me' time over the weekend (and beyond of you need it - I'm with the others on that)    

Ally - we've not spoken before but   you're obviously going through such a hard time at the moment just wanted to give you a cyber hug    

Spuds & Nicki - over one week down, hope the wait isn't driving you too crazy    Sending you both lots of positive orange energy!       

And to Heaps in Istanbul   - congrats on the fertilisation, hope the other one goes as well and all the very best of luck for ET tomorrow       

Clax - I only had 4 eggs on my first round of IVF and despite being put forward for an IVF/ICSI split the clinic advised IVF as it is less invasive and at that point we didn't have any proven fertilisation issues.  I expect as you had such a successful first round, ICSI was not even considered in your case. As Laura and Anna said, hopefully you just went in a bad month    and you're definitely in good hands at the Lister if testimonies on here are anything to go by  

Afm - well I went to see my consultant yesterday.  As expected it started pretty negative ... low amh blah blah...extremely poor chance of success...blah blah,   but I started asking some much more specific questions about my results, turns out my FSH is only 7.7 although AMH is <2 pmol and antral follicles were 'reasonable' when last checked. I then told her all about you girls and the 'it only takes one egg' school of thought and about the Jinny and the Lister and I wasn't ready to give up on my own eggs. Anyway, long story short, she's going to appeal to the PCT for another go on the NHS, she's going to rope in the embryologist to back up the appeal and she's suggested that I get a consult with Dr Abdallah?
at the Lister to see how he would approach my situation and if he suggested a different protocol they would give it a try if I'm successful with funding (apparently she worked with Dr Abdallah in the past and really highly rates him) Wow, I'm gob-smacked, just goes to show what a bit of perseverance can achieve, and I know it's only a little hurdle crossed but I've really got to thank all you girls because if I'd gone to this consult a month ago without the knowledge and experience I've gleaned from all of you I swear I would have just sat there blindly nodding and agreeing with everything she said   So thank you all so very very much  Oh by the way she said ok to DHEA aswell.  OK gals monologue over now  

Thanks and love to you all  

IzziLu xXx


----------



## laurab

Izzy - NHS Trying new things NO! Surely you must have been halucinating?? Well done girl.  you must have been very confident and sounds like you have a good cons there.  where are you? Keeping my fingers crosed for a free cycle for you.   

Clax - I would imagine Lister do E2 they are pretty good.  It sounds to me like a bad month.    Bugger.  You have one embie on boardd though?  ^reiki

Hi Veda.... don't work too hard!  

Anna/ Mal - Do you have something nice planned for the weekend.  mal think you said you were off to your barn?  Hope you both have lots of cuddles and have some 'me' time.

Heaps - Good Luck for tom.  

Well I may not be around next couple of days as we have tims freidns arriving tonight and then his mother tom!   So may not be ble to get on.   Will be thinking of you all as always.


----------



## IzziLu

Laura - I know, can't believe it myself I was on  when I came out of the consult    Just hope it all works out!


----------



## SiobhanG

Sorry I have been dipping in and out over the last few days so not up to date with everybodys stories. But again I’d like to say how awful I feel for Malini & Anna. Especially Malini, your post about your DH crying really broke my heart, my DH was crying like a baby (and this is a man who never cries at all - in fact only once or twice in all the years we’ve been together) when we got the 1% chance speech. It is awful, as like you said it’s hard not to feel guilty. 
I feel very sad for both of you. 

Kitten77 - Just wanted to let you know, I had a little spotting today (7 days early) At this stage I am hoping it is the DHEA and not my ovarian reserve diminishing even further. Anyway, I emailed Mrs Janet Evans at the Wales IVF centre where she is carrying out a study on DHEA to see if she could give me any advice. If I hear anything back from her I will post here.


----------



## SiobhanG

Jenny

Forgot to say thanks for the link - I'll read it now

X


----------



## purple72

Malini and Annasob thinking of you both and your DH's hope you all have a weekend full of love and warmth sent from all of us on the PR thread, you are in our thoughts and our hearts.

Laura hunny I read about your slip, I hope you're not to hurt  

Heaps sweetie any news from the love lab? When is transfer?

Love and hugs to everybody else

Sx


----------



## purple72

Heaps sweetie and DH enjoy your evening and hope ET goes smoothly tomorrow! when you will be PUPO!!!

Hugs to all

Sx


----------



## Rural Chick

Evening lovely ladies and RH 

Malini and AnnaSB           xxxx

Spuds and Nicki        - only a week to go.

Heaps       for ET tomorrow and it's orange now til you get your BFP in a fortnight's time    
AOC seems fine from her ******** postings

Veda - we're not finding out - after 10+ years a few more weeks won't make much of a difference.

Sorry for no more persos - am going through a mega tired stage at the moment.

Love and        to everyone

 sy  sy xxxx


----------



## TryMeditate

Malini no no no no no, I'm so so so sorry. I have no words to really express how sorry I am.     I logged in tonight and I'm so shocked and sad to read your news... Please please don't let this make you give up my angel. I had a miscarriage and six months of nothing before another BFP which is now my little man. I wish I had your way with words. I'm so sorry.

Anna - hugs for you too. There is no justice in how fertility is dolled out. The amazing mums to be on this thread are proof of that.  

Ally - I so so so hope things turn around for you soon.  You are a truly wonderful gorgeous girl, you deserve your hearts desire. It pains me that you are unhappy 

I know someone was mentioning me and the Estrogen Priming Protocol. I was going to go to the US to do EPP, the only reason I didn't go was as I got my natural BFP (natural except for the DHEA, herbs, diet and immunes tx!) . I didn't do the EPP, I did the Lister's usual protocol and didn't produce one single egg - actually I didn't even get even one follicle!!! I DID get pregnant a few weeks after with no period in between. Sort my name by last posts of this person to see exactly what I did.

I'm going to post what I have on the thread below........... read and copy to a word document quickly ladies so you can keep it (these things have a way of disappearing!), and can post it to other new women.

I see a lot of new joiners. I can honestly credit the research done by myself and team PR as what got me my baby, no doubt about it. This is not a criticism, but I don't see much of that happening on this thread anymore and I think it's a real shame. I was thinking of starting a "research only" PR thread... take a look at my first instalment ! NO CHIT CHAT OR QUESTIONS ON THIS THREAD PLEASE - EVER!!!!

This is somewhere to direct our new joiners to have a look, so we can downlad the years of combined research we have.

I'm doing a bit better..... my little man is only feeding every 4hours now. My routine is breast, then bottle, then settle him \ change etc, then express... then catch whatever sleep I can, then start it all over again. It is working though, he's putting on weight and doing much better. I am also getting horrid night sweats though... I was trying to ignore this whole POF thing but apparently it's still here.. Trust me, I'm not complaining. I know just how lucky I am, POF or no POF.

This is my attempt at starting a new thread
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=230320.msg3631975#msg3631975

Maybe what we could do is at the end of every week, the person who contributes the best research gets everyone blowing them loooaaaddss of bubbles.


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - thinking of you    

Heaps - good luck for et tomorrow               

Izzy - well done you

Clax - the lister is great but they do not do the full immune testing. if you see MR G make sure you take along the test results for what you have had done already.

Hi everyone 

Had a consult with Dr G and 

Agree I could try dhea
He agreed I need to have a 3rd donor lit in Athens using pooled donors
He wants my tfn retested to see if I need more humira
Agreed the Chamydia test with menstrual blood was a good idea and is sending me the stuff (doing it through him means I can claim it back). This will show if I have a latent infection high in the uterus with needs serious antib's. The uk blood test we have does not pick this up. Apparantely this infection causes recurrent mc's.
He agreed donor eggs would be a good move. I asked if I was wasting my time continuing with my oe. He said he couldn't say...I produced embryos...but not many. He was pro doing a de cycle with Penny in Serum Athens. 

DH and I had a long talk and have come to the following agreement. Sort my lad levels    along with everything else. If that's done Try naturally with immunes as recommended my Dr G but plan for a de cycle later in the year. I seem to be able to get pg on my own more easily than with fertility treatment so an oe ivf tx would probably a drain physically and financially. A de cycle abroad (with immunes here) will probably give us the best chance as 

a they use younger donors
b no waiting list
c can easily match my polish ethnicity
d more embies transferred
e higher success rates 
f cheaper

No brainer really. DH (to my suprise) is totally onboard with de. I just need to get to grips with it. At the end of the day I want a healthy baby. I would happily adopt but this has advantages. 

We're booking a week in Egypt in May, same place we went in September. CANNOT WAIT Good motivation to shift some pounds too!

Still very weapey and sad but happy we have a plan.

Anna x

PS Any recommendations for de clinics in europe welcome. So far looking at Penny at Serum Athens and Jinemed in Cyprus. Will probably get myself of the waiting list for reprofit but not sure I want to wait a year.


----------



## purple72

Sam so glad to hear little one is feeding 4 hourly now, and THANK you for the research thread, fab idea.

Take care of yourself and enjoy your son (it's so lovely to say that to you)

AnnasoB hunny that's alot to decide big hugs to you and your DH you're in our thoughts hunny!

I'm a bit freaked out at moment, for all of you cat experts do you think cats can sense things like pregnancy? Might sound daft but my Cat who has been one eyed for the last year (for those newbies she had cancer and had it removed this time last year) has just bought in a baby mouse not quite dead, (DH is on nights so her timing is bloody perfect) I rang DH in a panic and he said to put it outside so I shovelled it up it couldn't walk just paws twitching, and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave it outside in case she bought in back in and was too wimpy to actually end it's misery so I chucked it down the drain in the hope it would drown. probably a really cruel thing to do. Anyway she's not hunted since i first got her (a stray) about 8/9 years ago when she bought several gifts in. But about 10 days ago DH and I came down to another small mouse -dead thankfully- and now this. Now the only thing that's changed is our pregnancy.

Is she sensing this? Is there anything I can do to stop her? I've just given her a whole can of tuna in the hope that will keep her happy (it's a rare but loved treat for her) and mean I wont wake up with any mice!?!?!?

Oh I feel sick, poor little mouse, and poor kitty is she feeling threatened?

I'm sure you're all in bed by now but just wonder if any of you have any advice?

Sxxxx


----------



## Spuds

Girls

Just a quickie from me - wiped out with accupunture and hypnosis ! bl**dy hell what it takes to keep me semi sane is scary - my flippin anlalytical mind is my own worst enemy but have managed to calm it down - hallelulyha !!

Thanks RC and all for your support xxxx

Heaps n Nicki - massive      for you xx

Sobroody n Malini - you are in my prayers every night    

Sam22 - I think thats a brilliant idea - when you are new and you get the DE/PR speach you are in such a panic - just recently I sent a link to your story for a newbie and it helped her loads and I really think a central research place would be great - being sad it would be useful to collect data if people didnt mind on our own success rates/stories which newbies can use when they see their consultants etc....when I get my brain back and have more time would be happy to have a think about how we can collect this between us and/or use 'the list' we have as part of that thread to give people some real inspiration ?

Spuds
xxx


----------



## Spuds

Ah Purps xx

Cats definately sense pregnancy - they are soooo sensitive - there is a reason for the mice and Im trying to remember the textbook one but ours only ever do it if we have been away - kind of a well if we bring a mouse in we can share it routine yuch but true !! and it is re attention to my knowledge....have you tried feliway ? you can get plug ins which give off an odour that make the cats chill but make sure you check if its ok re pregnancy  tuna always works too !!


Lots of Love
Spuds
xx


----------



## purple72

Thanks Jersey! Hunny feel so sorry for the mouse and my kittie I guess she's getting worried we're going to replace her! Poor kitty. Seems only having one eye hasn't affected her ability to hunt!

Sxxx


----------



## Spuds

Ahhh 

She will be fine with plenty of tuna and try the feliway  - they are so weird !!


----------



## LV.

Malini - Soooo many hugs and well wishes for you gorgeous gal. I hope you're enjoying your time at the barn and it's the perfect place for you to regroup   

Clax - I would definitley get as much info as you can from the Lister. I recently found out they misinformed me on my 3rd cycle there saying it was ok for me to take a progesterone only OCP  (I have a history of a DVT so not supposed to take the mini pill) for their protocol only to find out that progesterone only pill does not shut the ovaries down in the same way the mini pill does. I wish she had checked this properly when I asked and saved me the cash and heartache of a totally screwed up cycle.

Almond - lovely to see you honey, I hope newly wed life is treating you well. Mal mentioned you had  a consult with Sher, we should compare notes. Are you going to cycle with SIRM?

Anne - sorry you're feeling sad chick-a-dee. I hope once all this starts it'll all get replaced with excitement  

Izzi - well done you! Glad you had  a positive consult, girl power (or is that PR Power?!)

Heaps - goooood luuuuck!

Sam - lovely to see you and thanks for starting the research thread, what an absolutely fab idea, I will definitely endeavour to contribute

Anna - sounds like you had a really productive consult with Dr G and I hope you feel better having a plan. I know I always do

Spuds - glad you're feeling a bit more chilled chicka. Hang on to your sanity love, only a few more days! Have you been peeing yet?

Purps - I think girlie cats bringing home prey is sometimes something to do with mums showing their kittens how to eat food/ kill it etc so perhaps she's just trying to show you what to do for your bubba, ewwww but bless! 

Immunes gals - can someone point me in the direction of the immunes thread about how to do the tests most cost effectively? I'm sure there is one but I can't find it. Is there much of a waiting list to see Dr G? And do I need to have immune tests on a specific cycle day?

Has anyone had a fluid ultrasound? Does this go by another name?

I'm just trying to get all my ducks in a row for Dr Sher

Merci!

LadyV xx


----------



## beachgirl

Purps, we've got the feliway plug in..not sure how effective it is but the vet said it's worth a try...


----------



## Ourturn

Purps - ours is a little hunter any way. In the summer we get loads of 'presents'. record was 6 mice in one day   When I've been pg she senses it very quickly...must be able to smell the pg hormones. Mine just wanted to curl up on my tummy and was very clingy...TOTALLY out of character.

x


----------



## Spuds

Girls 

In a bit of a flap - period pains last night and bleeding this morning - TMI alert - not spotting but not full on bleeding either but defo bleeding -     OTD not until Wednesday - do you think I should get a test anyway ?

Does it mean that one of them may not have stuck and one has ?  

Spuds
xxx


----------



## LV.

Spuds darling it's around the right time for implantation bleeding xxx


----------



## Spuds

Thanks LV      - keeping everything crossed that's what it is - so hard though - trying to ignore period style achy pain - do these come with impantation bleeding as well ? 

Oh God I hate this bit - can do the jabs, tick, the drugs, tick, even the flippin rude pharmacy bird, tick - but this is just chinese water torture     boobs no longer sore - headache gone which makes be suspicious  

LV - gonna try to keep   and think implantation     
Spuds
xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds - its too early for AF so I would say its implantation. Pains can be a sign of implantation too..stay


----------



## Spuds

Thanks Anna     what would I do without you lot hey !


----------



## Jal

Hi Spuds - are you on cyclogest? If so how many? Can't remember which thread I read it on but one of the girls experienced something like this and the clinic recommended that they up the dose to 2 a day, may be worth giving them a call. I used to be on 2 a day at my last clinic but the Liser just put you on 1 a day. Does sound too early for AF so implantation is more likely   

Went for scan on Friday and I am ready to go, the polyp is still there but saw my consultant and we did a saline scan and it is very small and not really obstructing the uterus so she recommended we go on as I have had the best response to date. 7-8 good follies, 1-2 that may catch up and 2 late appearances that have little chance. So last injections tonight + ovitrelle at 9pm and in at 7am on Monday morning for EC. Hoping that because my trigger is so early I'll be 1st in! Still slightly worried about polyp but will go with consultant recommendation.


LV - I think the fluid ultrasound could be what I had on Friday - think they called it 'saline .....' The consultant did it and they set you up a bit like you are having a smear, then push fluid in you and do the the normal dildocam, the fluid fills the uterus so it comes up black on the screen and gives a much clearer picture of the uterus. This is how we could tell I def had a polyp but also the size and how far it protruded. Hope that helps!! One of the nurses said they would the scan externally but no such luck!! They also came me antibiotics to be on the safe side as they do have to push the fluid up through the cervix so a precaution thing against infection - 4 tablets you take in one dose plus a nice bum bullet one (thought I had a few days before I had to to that), did make me feel a bit sick last night but took myself off to bed at 9pm and feel better today.

Morning SB and beachgirl.

J x


----------



## Spuds

Hi Jal  

Yes on Cyclogest but only one as per Lister - will give them a call now - thanks - and good luck for monday keeping everything crossed for you     

Spuds


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds - personally I think 1 pessary is not enough. Our clinic puts everyone on two as standard, that's x2 400mg cylclogest am and pm 

x

PS - I have a stack of clyclogest, pm me if you would like to post a pack out to you


----------



## purple72

Yes Spuds go up to two 12 hours apart     

Love to everyone else and thanks for the cat advice x


----------



## Spuds

Thanks lovey xxxxx I have to say Im surprised we only get 1 a day ? have an extra box (long story) but thank you for the offer and if I run out will pm you honey thank you xxxx

Have called Lister for one of the nurses to get back to me -       

Will defo up the dose - thanks Purps and Anna 

Spuds
xxxxxx


----------



## IzziLu

Spuds - sending you lots of orange sticky stuff         sure the girls are right and its implantation so no need to worry! 

Heaps -              ? for today

Purps - I too have been recommended Feliway for moderating kittys behaviour, apparently it contains 'mummy pheromones' that have a calming effect. Your Kitty must love you very much to bring you such gifts   

Sam - thank you for the research thread, what a great idea, I know I'll be paying it a lot of attention.

LV - definitely PR power! 

Think someone also mentioned collecting data (was it you spuds?) I mentioned something similar a few days ago but didn't realise you girls already had a list. I think it would be a great idea - our own mini study - to see what works!! 

Love to all

IzziLu xXx


----------



## mag108

LV
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=52.0
is the link to the general immunes thread. [see guide to immunes testing]

There is a list of tests you should be able to get done at your GP's and a list plus other info

Those of seeing Dr G in Ldn are on
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229564.0;topicseen
xxx


----------



## purple72

Good luck today Heaps, I think Turkey are ahead of us by 1 or2 hours! so either you have 1 or 2 hours before you go in for ET    

To our soon to be PUPO lady xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds - have you been doing your pessaries am or pm? If PM pop another one in now, if am ...would do you no harm to pop an extra one in  now and do another one before bed. Ensure you stay seated or lay down for 20 mins to ensure absorption. You may find going 'in the back' is less messy and may prevent irritation (when doing x2 pessaries I did back passage am , front am) 
I once was worried that the pessary hadn't been absorped am and a nurse told me I could just pop another one in if I was worried.
Just shout if you want another box posting. 

Heaps - good luck today      Purps you are right

LV - sorry I missed your immune question...thanks Mag. LV I paid £1550 for all of my initial immune tests with Mr G including consultation (was able to get the money back via my private health though, very lucky). I woud budget for that but be prepared to pay a little less or depending on what you need. This included full chicago tests along with the MTFHR/FactorV/Protein C level 1 test. I had the rest of the level one tests done via the nhs. He may also recommend an endemitrol (sp) biopsy. Luckily I had one two years ago via Dr Q in Liverpool and knew I have raised unk's. 
The care I have had via the nhs (around miscarriages) has been s*it...having Mr G at the end of the phone (albeit at £90 per consult) has been invaluable. He has saved Agate's pregnancy despite her having incredibly heavy beeds up until 13 weeks. Her local hospital told her there was nothing they could do and she would miscarry. She is now 18 weeks  

Anna x


----------



## LV.

Thanks Mags/ Anna

Do I need to have immunes done on a specific cycle day? I'd like to go when I know this girl from my acu course won't be working there! I really can't believe the bad luck on that coincidence

Spuds - you're doing brilliantly chick. Get those bum bullets up and your orange knickers on!


----------



## Ourturn

Ladyv - its not down to your cyce but you do need to book in on a Monday or Tuesday morning, that way you go straight down to the lab a couple of doors down and they will send your bloods to Chicago. Your dh will need to go with you as his blood will be needed for the test. I went on a Monday, just check with Akvil (receptionist) when you book in hat Tuesday would be ok too...just say you will need bloods sending to Chicago.
Re the nurse she is bound by confidentiality.

x


----------



## LV.

Thanks Anna - Mon/ Tues are perfect as that's when the course is so I'll go on one of our breaks. Take it I need to have an appt with Gorgy first? Or can I just rock up with my form from Sher and have bloods done without and appt do you think?

xx


----------



## Ourturn

I don't think you'll be able to get the bloods done without an initial consult. 

Best to book an appointment. You can usually book into see Mr G quite quickly, but if you need a very specific time you might need to book a couple of weeks in advance.


----------



## Spuds

Anna thanks love    have 'popped' one in   

Have also dressed self in new orange pants (thank you la senza) orange top, cardi and coat - even orange lipstick though it was too ghoulish for this time in the morning so it had to go for fear of being put into a white coat and taken away on my way to the chemist lol ...got to buy some flippin pads but using new orange pants to stave of AF as a cunning plan hmmmm      

LV -


----------



## TryMeditate

spuds      


newbies, read all the dhea info i posted on the pr reseaech thread today

xxx


----------



## mag108

LV 
I got all of these tests done through GP: Not every GP does them.
Also got urine chlamydia done at sexual health clinic.

Insulin resistance (fasting glucose test) –  
Thyroid levels (TSH, T3, T4) 
Anti Nuclear Antibodies  
Anti thyroglobulin
Anti-thyroid antibodies 
Full Blood count 
ESR (Erythrocyte Sedimentation rate)  
RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) – 

BLOOD CLOTTING PANEL (Thrombophilia panel)  
Serum Immunoglobulins (IgG, IgM and IgA)
Activated Protein C Resistance   
Factor V Leiden genotype  
Anti Phospholipid Antibodies  
Lupus Anticoagulant  
Anti Cardiolipin Antibodies  
Plasma Free Protein S level  
Factor II G20210A  
Prothrombin Gene Mutation  
Antithrombin III M Fibrinogen level
(Activited Partial Thromboplastin Time) 

I paid slightly less than Sobroody at Dr G for the Immunes testing, approx £1200 (incl fee)

x


----------



## Malini

For Spuds - My breast tenderness disappeared around now and for me it was a good sign. It came back when the heartbeat stopped. I am convinced that in my case as soon as my body needed the progesterone it happily processed it through my liver. Praying for you.

Today is bad. Can't get out of bed. Can't stop crying. Won't accept that all my hopes for this life are over. ERPC booked for Mon eve, fortunately dh's private insurance pays for it. I am grateful for the lovely month of hoping but now terrified of a lifetime of remembering what could have been.

Good luck Heaps and dh. Thinking of tumeric and marigolds for you both.

And hv not fogotten your precious embie Nicki.

Malini xx


----------



## Lilly7

Morning all.

Just popping in to say a quick hello and to wish everyone a nice weekend.

I'm completely out of touch with everything at the moment    , so won't even try with personals just now.

Love to everyone and     for those in need.

xxx


----------



## Lilly7

Malini; we were posting at the same time. 
Big     for you. I only wish that there was something I could do to make the pain less. It's so damn unfair!


----------



## Malini

Thanks Leola. You make the pain less by wishing you could. Thank you.

All of you do. xxx


----------



## purple72

Oh Malini hunny it's not surprising that you feel this way. You have to grieve hunny, Just know we are all thinking of you and sending lots of virtual hugs to you in your barn!


----------



## Spuds

Oh Mal         you are so brave my lovely and you have really got to give yourself this time to grieve cry scream whatever it takes - but please remember that whilst we cant erase the bad times and I know you probably cant think about this now and may want to   me for mentioning it but there will be so so so much joy one day and I promise that will soften the hard times xxxxx

Thinking of you and sending all my love 
Spuds
xxxx


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - my heart is breaking for you, I felt exactly the same when I was waiting for an erpc 2 years ago      Its is NOT all over. When you have had time to heal you can try again. You now know you can get pregnant and I'm sure Sher can get you there. Day by day you will cry less but things will set you off (like anniversary), you will never forget but in time the pain will be easier to bear, I promise. 
When you are ready I can recommend counselling with a counsellor who specialises in fertility. I was in a dark place after my erpc and counselling got me through. 
I wish I could give you a huge   in person and look foward to doing so at some point. 

LV - when you see Mr G ask about the mestrual blood chlamydia test by Penny at Serum Athens. He can organise this for you or you can go direct. I have posted about this already but loads of ladies who were told they had never had C in the uk, get a positive on her test. That's because it can move high into the uterus and sleep. Its then reactivated by pregnancy and causes miscarriage. Its treated with heavy weight antib's. If you're going to fork out a fortune on tx I think its wise to tick absolutely everything off the list.

Sam - thanks

x


----------



## laurab

Malini - Oh I wish I could do something. Anything.   All is not over for you. i promise, but I guess that doesn't help at the moment.   

Spuds - hang in there hon.  This is the hardest part.  

Anna - How are you today?

Tracey - Are you where you are meant to be yet??

Nickki -  

Heaps - Hope you are PUPO now and weeing in a bed pan!  

Leola - whats happening with the cat?  How did the visit other day go?

Sorry can't do more just sneaking on.


----------



## LV.

Oh Malini petal - words just don't seem to cut the mustard. Big hugs coming your way. I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you. You need your time to grieve and a plan will formulate when you're ready, promise. This isn't over by any stretch of the imagination

Anna - thanks for your advice honey

Spuds - hope you are ok?

xxx


----------



## beachgirl

Malini    I wish I could take your pain away x


----------



## Spuds

Thanks LV n Laura  

Am ok - spoken to the nurse - obviously they cant say anything except to still take a test on Wed - have upped cyclogest - and yes it could be implantation or period or losing x1 of my embies rather than 2 - the bleeding has not got any heavier though my legs are more crossed than a crossed thing from planet crossed   just going to find a crap film to watch and keep my feet up - if it is AF I cant keep it in forever and if its implantation will be over the moon - either way - just got to get through today/tomorrow and keep positive                   

Spuds
aka tango bird
xxx


----------



## Spuds

Mal - sending you some more of these in case the last lot has run out yet


----------



## Züri

Heaps congrats being PUPO xxx

Malini my heart goes out to you it really does   x

and to you also AnnaSB  

xx


----------



## Rural Chick

Malini            I feel for you and DH so much    

Tango Spuds -           for those embies  

Nicki - how are you doing?          

Heaps - congrats Mrs PUPO - it only takes one - sending you loads of          Enjoy Mamma Mia - I love it and think it has such a feel good factor.  

Love to everyone and sorry again for so few persos - I am so tired this week - I'm not sure if it's because I've started swimming again or because Chip is having a growth spurt - either way, I am knackered  

**** sy **** sy xxxx


----------



## beachgirl

Heaps    congratulations on being PUPO x x x 

Spuds     hope you're resting x


----------



## Spuds

Bu**er and ar*se - managed to hold it in all day but heavier bleeding now - no cramps just bleeding - fealing v  but theres still hope that the other one has made it  

Spuds
xxx


----------



## mag108

spuds


----------



## LV.

for you Spuds honey xxx


----------



## IzziLu

Spuds - hoping and praying for you      keep those legs crossed a bit longer!

Malini - sending lots more cyber hugs          and hoping hugs from strangers helps a little  

Sam - thank you so much for the research thread, just read through it and went straight to dhea.com to order my drugs - can't wait to get pill-popping   

Heaps - PUPO   PUPO   PUPO   Yipee

Now off to La Senza to order me some orange smalls  

Love to all  

IzziLu xXx


----------



## veda

malini my heart is breaking for your loss   

spuds, my friend bled heavy for weeks and she now has a bouncing boy. dont give up your hope. its the one thing that keeps us all going. sending you   and a bit of orange love! 

heaps pupo woderful. 1 emby is all it takes! take it easy and enjoy the wonders of the paper mache bedpan!  

v
x


----------



## Donkey

Malini, I send you all my love   I am devastated for you  

donkey xxx


----------



## Donkey

Sorry for being absent girls I'm having a melt down and I just can't deal with things at the moment. I only logged on today  for the first time in ages.
Apart from IF, dh being out of work for a year, molly the cat dying my dad has to have a prostate biopsy on Tuesday and Bertie the cat has gone missing.
I can't stop  


Love to you all
xxxx


----------



## almond

Malini   I am thinking of you constantly and it breaks my heart. I wish I had words. I wish I had a magic wand. I type and delete, type and delete because I cant find the right words, and that's because there aren't any words I can find which do justice to what I want to say. Please hang in there. Your grief is appropriate and your precious little bean is worth that sadness   Lots of love to both of you xxx

LV - hello, I've PM'd you

Spuds - oh the agony. Sending you   and thinking of you

Donkey - just seen your post, I'm so sorry. Please talk to people here, is there anything anyone can do to help?  xxx


----------



## purple72

Oh spuds hunny, thinking of you and keeping things crossed here for you too    

Donks sweetie so sorry the world has decided to [email protected] on you right now! It's just SOOOOOO unfair, sending you lots of    and as almond says we are all here for you!!

Love to all, hoping not to get any gifts from candy girl tonight xxxx

Sx


----------



## almond

Hi Purps, I said it over on **, but dont think have officially said congrats here   So happy for you and DH
x


----------



## purple72

Thank you Almond Hunny! We are very happy and VERY LUCKY xxxx


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds - sending you huge    and       

Nicki - you have been quiet. Hope you are ok hun    

Donkey -       Sending you       for your dad's biopsy and hope you find Bertie soon. No wonder your down with dh and if


----------



## Spuds

Thanks Anna and all u girls for all the  +  - really appreciate it - has kept me going today xxxx

Donks - you really have been in the wars love - do talk to us if you can and we will help I promise xxxxxxx

Nicki - you ok ?    

Veda - thanks hun - will keep the hope up 

Spuds
xxx


----------



## Malini

oh Donkey      I am so sorry.   for your Dad and Bertie.  Hope Flo and Henry's arrival hasn't upset your little luv.  You must be stressed about starting soon and all that means.  Also know that as a former teacher I used to find this the longest half-term as everyone itched for Spring's arrival. Sending you  

And to you too Spuds. The energy it takes to keep hoping is humungous but I am digging deep for you.  

Hi to everyone who has come on here and sent me hugs and care.  We are both drinking it in and appreciate every ounce.  Dh and I panic at times, feel angry at others and sad most of the time but we haven't lost hope.

Malini xxx


----------



## Spuds

Mal     hope is definately with you 110% - thinking of you and thanks for digging deep - it really is  bl**dy hard but Im going to try to keep hope on this round till that bl**dy test date       to you n dh - hang on in there - I wish I could do something for you - no words coming out in the right way to help but sending you n dh loads of love n    xxxx

Spuds
xxx


----------



## laurab

Groups Hug for everyone.


----------



## Rural Chick

Mal          love to you and DH.

Spuds         and       

Donkey        hope your Dad's biopsy comes back OK and that Bertie is just being a dirty stop out.    

AnnaSB        

      to everyone


----------



## Little Me

A real quick one from me girls.

I feel a few   that I need to give so here goes...

Spudsy hun-     hard love, rest up lovely     

Mal- Words fail me , thinking of you lovely lady    

Anna- Ditto sweetie    

And Donks- I can relate to some of what you're going though hun, I really can, but the additional sadness of your poor dad must be awful.   My     for your dad and Bertie (and Molly Angel cat). And some special ones for hubby finding a job - the stress of that alone is immense. 
Our Charlie went missing a couple of months ago hun- only overnight but we found him safe and well.
"come back little Bertie, your mommy needs you"    

Lots of love and hugs to all


----------



## LV.

Oh what a time for team PR - big group hug

Donkey - one for you too petal, we're all here for you... thinking of you at this difficult time.

xxxxx


----------



## nicki70

Evening Girls  

Sorry have beem a bit awol this week,  this 2ww is pure torture!

Malini - You sound like such a strong lady, more   

Spuds - Hope you're surviving!  I had a teeny bit of spotting on Thurs & yesterday, a bit again this morning & a few hours ago a bit more ( bright red though!).  People have been saying implantation bleeding so we just have to believe that!      My clinic puts us on 2 cyclogest a day & a few times this week I've done 3....
Have been listening to Zita too!  About to go for a warm bath - I know people say to stick to showers during the 2ww but I just need to chill out & if I can't have a huge glass of vino ( & DH out on a stag) am definately going to have a long soak.  My OTD is Fri for some reason but am planning on testing Wed...

Heaps - Congratulations on being Pupo too!     .  I just have the one on board & oddly can visualise it working more so than last time when I had 2 on board!  

Sobroody -   for you too.

Donkey -  You too  

 to everyone else!

AFM - Hating this spotting - just want to know now!  
I also handed in my notice at work on Thursday  , we decided whatever the outcome of this TX I need some time out to recharge my batteries & (hopefully won't have to) to prepare for round 3...  My boss was very good about it & knows about our struggles to conceive & I must say I feel a huge sense of relief. Will worry about the financial aspect later!

Lots of love
Nicki xx


----------



## Rural Chick

Mal          love to you and DH.

Spuds         and       

Nicki -         for you too

Donkey        hope your Dad's biopsy comes back OK and that Bertie is just being a dirty stop out.    

AnnaSB        

      to everyone


----------



## laurab

heaps - Tim was back and fourth with the bedpan for me about 6 times!! My bladder must be the size of a small house!


----------



## Ourturn

Heaps - congrats on being pupo hun!     . Know what you mean about embies...I had embie envy too! 

Nicki and Spuds          

Anna x


----------



## Spuds

Nicki - sending loads of these honey          and           

Anna     

hEAPS      

rc  
sPUDS
XX


----------



## Malini

oops, I forgot - how could I? - to say HURRAH for Heaps.  You are PUPO.


----------



## Emmahoping

Hi girls, 
Ive had a very poor response on my day 7 stimming scan, only x1 12mm and x2 4-5mm follies, they are giving me an extra 2 days on menopur to see if the little ones would catch up, has this happened to anyone else, and had sucsess? Thanks Em


----------



## Spuds

Hi Emm

I am sorry I cant help re menopour but from memory on my first cycle by around that time I had a similar response but they did catch up in the end and you still have time xxxx


----------



## Emmahoping

Thankyou for your reply, the clinic are very negative saying in  there opinion they wont grow any more!   I'm praying for better news on Wednesday! XX


----------



## purple72

Emma I just read your other thread. Alot of us have had similar experiences with less experienced clinics. 

It seems you were on the LP and on 300 menopur some clinics say this is the max but if you check my signature I had 2 cycles on LP with a max of 300 stim drugs and didn't have a good response, 1st cycle was cancelled 2nd I got one egg that fertilised abnormally. I changed clinics and protocol to a short protocol (no down regging my body tended to shut down and not restart again) with a dose of 450 menopur and I got 6 eggs 5 embies and even ended up with 2 at blastocyst stage. Unfortunately BFN but Much better response. 2nd time at new clinic got 5 eggs but only 2 embies and again BFN but again Much better response than first 2 cycles. I then managed to fall pregnant naturally so please be assured that all is not over but it may mean insisting on a different protocol and different drug strength and if your current clinic will not help then finding another that will. BUT all of this is for the future, Do not give up on this one yet as day 7 is VERY early and you may still end up successful on this cycle. One thing it may be worth asking is for them to check your E2 levels at your next scan (blood test) this gives them an indication of eggs in follicles

Good luck

Sx


----------



## Emmahoping

thankyou for your reply! They did do a blood test and the said on the bases of the blood result and the scan the chances are not good. The wanted me to go in and end the cycle, after the offer of the extra two days stimms,  but I said no. My FSH was 11.8 at the start. The clinic said the dont use more than 4 amps, and its nhs funded. as I did ask about uping the drugs! Id be interested in the SP I dont know if they do that? Im just so disappointed, Ive been pushing for Ivf for years and now I get it to have this response is deverstating! xx


----------



## Spuds

Emm   

Dont give up love - it is early days still and remember you have responded to the drugs xxxx     see how you get on and make use of all the knowledge experience and wisdom these girls have got xx we will help you through it   

Spuds
xx


----------



## Han72

Gawd what a time on here

Malini - it's been sad and said again but we ALL including my DH wish we could take that pain away.  I am n England right now, and I'll be in London on Tuesday and it would be my honour to offer a shoulder, an ear, a coffee or whatver l can.  I'll be back again at the end of the month for longer and needless to say I'll be at the end of the phone and will be within easy reach of central London.  Love to you and DH honey      

Mash            
Mags -        
Donks too  hugme^       

Sorry no more persos but am totally knackered - gotta go to bed! But sending even more       to EVERYONE that needs them, the PR posse may be down but we sure as hell ain't out!

xxx


----------



## Spuds

Thanks Nix


----------



## Ourturn

Emma - day 7 is still early and you up your dose you might be able to get more follies...you will probably just need to stimm for longer. I need to be on the max dose of menapur x6 amps...and that was given to me by my nhs clinic. I don't understand why some nhs clinics refuse to go above x4 amps  . x4 amps would have given me know more than x2 follies (I know that because that's what I was on for iui) 

Malini -      

Spuds -      

Nicki -      

Morning all 

AF has finally arrived this am   and its a mother. 

Anna x


----------



## Spuds

Oh Anna    

Am with you hun - mine is here too - still taking cyclogest until Wed in hope of a miracle but it is keeping the cramps away for now - dreading it - this is one of the hardest parts - I am thinking of you and sending loads of     

Have had a bath (bliss) put on brave face and going to the pub for lunch with dh - this has hit him so hard - i cant bear to think about it - what i will be doing is having a big glass of wine - just the one for severe medicinal purposes xx

Girls - cant thank you enough for getting me through this cycle - so much hope and so much despair - God its really unfair - we have slowly started to talk about a tandem at the Jinny - not sure how many cycles I can put myself through mentally - the physical is a doddle now  - either way we are having a few months 'fertility free' and going to concentrate on our move to Jersey and some fresh air  

Thanks again girls
Love n Hugs to all of you - such a courageous and special bunch of women I really love ya's 
Spuds
xxxx


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds - I am so sorry you are bleeding      But its not over yet hun. A lady on Mr G's thread had a proper af bleed on otd and is now 18 weeks pregnant! 
That said a large glass of wine is a very good idea. IF this hasn't worked for you and it is an IF a break focussing on enjoying your new home sounds like a great idea. 

We are thinking about a tandem but Mr G was not very happy about it as either my own or the donors eggs could be comprimised whilst they waited for one to catch up on the other. I think we will either do one last oe cycle and then donor or move straight to donor. But we have pretty much decided to go straight to donor. On top of the fact I produce very few eggs, dh and I share the worst possible dq alpha number, 4.1. This means each embryo we produce has a 25% chance of being a 4.1 which will cause my body to trigger a very aggressive response. So if we have x2 embies put back we have a 50% chance of an agressive immune response. I think this is maybe why my oe ivf has not worked for me despite having top quality embies put back (both times we have had two put back). If I did tandem and had a mix of oe and de embies but back, my oe embies could set off a reaction which causes me to mc all of them even with immune treatment  
This probably explains why I've managed to get pg on my own but not with fertility treatment. The other option is to do oe single embryo transfer but seeing as the majority of my eggs will be chromosonally abnormal at this stage, I don't see the point and don't think I can put myself through it. 
So our plan is to ttc naturally with immune treatment once/if I can get my LAD numbers up, hysteroscopy done & get the all clear after the new Chlamydia test. Then plan for a de cycle in either Cyprus or Athens.


----------



## KITTY1231

good afternoon ladies 
this is the first time i have been on this thread i have been on the ireland one last year when i went through ivf
i went trhough ivf last may and at egg collection i got no eggs and  got my amh test done which came back at 0.5 and was at a check up at my local hospital as i was having problems with my side which turned out to be a cyst which has thank god has went away.  the doctor recommeded that i start hrt as things have progressed a bit too quickly.  what i would like to know have any of you ladies started hrt and then went on to do ivf or egg donation succefully i dont know if i can go to the lister and maybe getting using my own eggs or will have to go for donor egg

many thanks cathy


----------



## veda

Hi. 
Didnt want to read and run. 

Kitty1231 i just finished a cycle of ivf/icsi and i started with hrt. I like you had a cyst and this resulted in a treatment being abandoned. When it finally went i cycled with hrt then menopur 6 amps. I got 14 eggs although only 8 were able to be injected ( but still better than 5 eggs i got the first cycle!) of the 8 i got 3 embies and had 1 frozen and 2 put back. It ended up a bfn for me but gave me 3 embies as opposed to 1 in my first cycle! So give it a try you never know it may work for u. Good luck!

Spuds keep ur chin up we are all here for you. 

V
x


----------



## Jumanji

Sam - great idea on the research thread!!  I have my "standard" AMH post permanently saved as an email draft but it will be great to have somewhere to "park" it.  I always feel terrible for those poor ladies who come here with an AMH of about 8 pmol/l or something and have been told by some idiot doctor that this means "low fertility" and that they ought to consider DE  .  It happens so often and I have trotted out the same thing in a post or PM so many times!  

Malini - as I said before there really are no words and I cannot begin to appreciate your pain and grief.  However, please do not think of this as being the end of your journey.  When you found the right clinic you got a good response and you did get pregnant and, although it is no consolation at all, miscarriage is frighteningly common and there is no reason to think you cannot get pregnant again.  Please allow yourself some time to grieve and to feel all the anger and hurt that you need to.  However, do not allow yourself to think that this was your only chance because that is not the case.   

Beachy - I too am sorry that you know only too well how Malini feels. 

Tracey - glad the training went well for you.

Almond - good to see you.

Laura - hello

Driver - hi there; your posts are always so warm and friendly! 

Anne - glad you are making moves on finding a donor; I can understand you feeling a little sad but I am confident that will pass.

Kate 77 - hello

Wishy Washy - Hi there pregnant lady!

Mag - hope all goes well at the chest clinic.

Clax - welcome; sounds like sobroody Anna has some wise words for you.

Veda - good to see you.  I am sure lots of people can advise you on the Jinny; I have great respect for that place - everyone seems to rave about it and we have seen some excellent results from it here!

Izzilu - well done you for standing your ground.  I wish people wouldn't obsess over one test!  Your FSH is fine and you have a decent number of antrals.  Those are good signs!!  AMH is still pretty new and there could be loads of reasons for a low AMH they don't know about - it is a test not THE test and getting hung up on it and igmoring everything else is silly.

Siobhan - do remember that most of the mums and pregnant ladies here have had the "1% chance" speech.

Purple - hope you are doing well.  I think animals can sense these things - I didn't notice it much with my cats but my friend certainly did!

RC - sorry you are so tired.  My sister was exhausted all the way through her pregnancy.

SB Anna - I am sorry but I know nothing about lad etc.  Sending big hugs though! 

LV - glad you are pursuing Dr. Sher.

Jal - glad the polyp is ok

Leola7 - hello!

Heaps - congrats PUPO lady!

Zuri - hi there!

Emma - as others have said it really is early days.  You may have to hang in there and stim a bit longer.  My sister was told that she only really had one decent follie early on but she ended up with 5 eggs, all of which fertilised.    

Donkey - I am so sorry about everything piling up.  It never rains but it pours.  With your dad, please know that there is lots they can do even if he has cancer.  My dad is now in remission after being treated for prostate cancer last year.  With Bertie, kitties very often come back.  Tiddles' sworn enemy, Basil from next door went missing for a few days but turned up fine and DP found a cat up the road which had apparently gone missing too. 

Spuds - bleeding in early pregnancy is very common; I had some with Monty. Plus implantation bleeding can be quite heavy.  Please don't give up.   

Nix - hello!

Miranda - hi there!

Kitty - looks like Veda has been able to help you out.

much love to everyone I have missed.


----------



## Kittycat104

So much sadness on this thread at the moment..

Malini - I know there is nothing I can say to make it better - and if there was, the girls would have already said it, but you are in my thoughts.  I can tell from your posts that you are so strong and always thinking of others - I so wish that you weren't having to go through this pain.

Anna - so sad to read your story.  How cruel IF can be to give us hope and then snatch it away.  Glad to hear that you are formulating a plan.  It helps, I think

LJ - nice to see you back.  Although I haven't been around on here posting for long, when I was lurking, your posts were full of wise advice that helped me

Spuds - I so hope that that is early pg bleeding and not AF.  When is OTD?  I know exactly what you mean about the mental strain.  I think it is important to try and go fertility free.  Since my BFN, I have been making an effort to make the most of my time before next cycle, rather than just obsessing about IF, and catching up with child free friends!

Veda/Kitty - what are the benefits of taking HRT?

Emma - I know from experience how difficult it is when you get a poor response, but push to keep stimming for a few more days.  There are lots of stories on here of women who have gone on to get pg after a less than positive start.

Nicki - how are you?  Well done you on taking the step of handing in your notice.

Donkey - big hugs - life can be cruel sometimes.  Has Bertie come home?

Heaps - it only takes one!  When are you heading home?

Purps - any more cat gifts?  Thankfully that's something I dont have to worry about - my cat is a bit too fat to catch anything!

Siobhan - Did you hear anything back from Wales re DHEA?

AFM - had quite a nice weekend - isn't it great to see the sun shining!  Was DH's birthday yesterday so we went out for lovely lunch.  He has gone off on a boys skiing trip today so I have five days of 'me time'.  Lovely.  Just enjoying a glass of white wine - may as well make the most of not being pregnant!  Met up with one of my best friends today who is four weeks from having a baby.  Only took her two months to get pg - grrrr!  Was nice to see her though and she knows about IF so was careful not to talk much about imminent arrival of baby.

We have decided to go to Jinny for OE in May.  Not sure I am ready for DE yet.  Hopefully another month will give DHEA time to kick in and will also mean I am a bit more settled in new job.  Have emailed Romina with long list of questions.

Louise xx


----------



## Donkey

Thank you for the lovely caring replies from you all, and I know that all of you feel delicate, emotional and vulnerable too.  I am in a very dark place at the moment and I don;t see how I can get out of it.  I am meant to start tx at the end of the month and I don;t know if I have the strength to do it all again.

LJ thank you for your story I am so glad that your dad is better, it gives me hope.

Much love
xxxx


----------



## Kittycat104

Donkey - maybe you should put tx off for another four weeks until you are feeling a bit stronger?  Life is so tough sometimes - when I have been in the dark place, I just used to say to myself 'one foot in front of the other - just keep going and you WILL come through the other side'.

xxx


----------



## veda

donkey you are stronger than you think. look what you have already achieved and learned along your journey. IF is a horrible drain on our emotions, relationships, bodies and finances! I'm not sure there is ever a good time and in fact sometimes it seems like time is against us as we are constantly reminded of our ticking clocks!
i always try and view each new cycle or appointment as one of hope as i know what ever happens i have to carry on. when i first started i told everyone it was not a big deal if i never had kids but of course it did matter. this is my defense mode. this is how i cope. we all do it differently. 
you will have your coping mechanism which has got you this far. as Louise suggests it may be worth waiting for another month to put you in that better place or maybe you will find that courage and go for it now. we are all here for you if you need to vent, cry, shout or rejoice! hang in there and you will do the right thing. my mum always says if its meant for you it will no go by you! sometimes things are worth the wait. okay i sound like a walking cliche so im going to go.
just wanted to make you feel better. 

v


----------



## fluffy jumper

Back from Benin now.  Too tired for many personals as I left at 3am yesterday and didn't get home until 9pm.

Malini and DH I have been thinking of you both constantly.  It will take a long time to start feeling better but I promise you will.  All those cliches about time being a great healer are true, your pain won't go completely but it will get easier, just take one day at a time.  

Donkey, I am sorry you have been through so much recently, I hope time enables you to climb out of your dark place.

Jersey, I am sorry you are bleeding.  I will hope it doesn't mean it is definately over for you.

Anna, I am so sorry the outcome of your tx was negative.  Your plan sounds like a very sensible on.  While you are trying naturally will you use a CBFM or any scanning.  I am thinking of having a couple of cycles where I get scanned just before ovulation and then have a trigger to release the egg if they think I am going to ov then take pred from ovulation onwards.

I had read the thread about chylmadia.  I had it abotu 20 years ago and further tests showed negative but I have wondered whether to do the test with Serum.  I had decided that there was not enough evidence but not sure.

Sam.  Thanks for the research thread.  I will read all the DHEA info and decide whether to try the best versoin rather than the bog standard I am taking at the moment.

You are all such a wonderful bunch of women on this thread.


----------



## fluffy jumper

Ally, your inbox is full, I hope you read this message I was going to PM you,

Hi my darling Ally

I have only just read your post about having lost your close friend.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am.  Nobody understands how hard it it to lose a close friend.  I still miss my darling Kate who died with Marcus and think about her all the time.  It has been as hard losing her as it was losing Marcus, in some ways worse as there are more occasions when you would have done something together.

I don't want to ramble on about my feelings but wanted to let you know that I understand your pain.  People forget when you have lost 'just a friend' but it is years before the pain lessens and you remember her with a smile or laugh rather than tears.

I am so sorry honey.  We must have that lunch or meet after work.  Let me know if and when you want ot meet.

xxxxx


----------



## Ourturn

Tracey - glad you're back safetly. Here's the serum thread:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=213413.0

Ask the question. I imagine that if you know you've had it then you should have the test to see if its still there. It could be that its latent ie high up in your uterus rears its ugly head only when you get pregnant and so miscarry. I will pm you penny's email address so you can email here your history and ask her what she thinks. You're probably ok as you had you're boys since contracting it but for the sake of 200 euros its worth ruling out.

I will not be able to ttc naturally for 3 months because the down regging injection I had will keep af away for that long. But hopefully this will allow me to get my lad levels and everything else sorted. I will be using my cbfm. Mr G said to take 25mg pred and 40mg clexane from day 5 of my cycle and x2 cyclogest from ov onwards.

Malini - hope tomorrow goes as well as it can, thinking of you both        

Kitti - welcome 

Donkey -          

LJ, Veda, Louise 

I have been ok but bursting into tears. I was cooking dinner and thought how sad it would be if I never got to cook for my own little ones. Was supposed to go into work tomorrow, but have to work from home. Taking heavy duty pain meds for af and still very emotional. Had a g & t, glass of wine and just scoffed some thorntons I had bought as part of a friends b-day pressie. Need to start my diet as I feel grim  I want to shift at least half a stone by my sister's wedding at the end of next month (just to get back to where I was pre tx) and then another half stone before egypt in May.

Anna x


----------



## Jumanji

Just added some stuff on AMH to the research thread.


----------



## Spuds

Hi Anna      horrible this bit hey - but i know you will be cooking for your little ones honey xxx     

thanks for all your msges - working from home today though cramps have yet to arrive - i suppose that will kick in as soon as i stop the cyclogest ;( - still testing wed to be sure and a part of me hoping and praying this is heavy implantation bleeding but it has got even heavier ;(

loads of love to those that need it and sorry for lack of personals - self absorbed today again ;(

Spuds
xx


----------



## laurab

Just caught up after hectic weekend. No time for persos now but welcome home tracey.

Spud and Nickki - Hang in there girls (sorry your bleeding spudsbut i bled on and off til 16 weeks -  )

Anna/ Mal -   

Back later.


----------



## H&amp;P

Morning ladies from a freezing cold Dublin (so sleepy don't like these 5 am starts), had a lovely sunny but cold weekend with DH, loads of walks and fresh air, and we bought ourselves a new (not new new) car (been looking for months).....told DH he needs to drive round with the roof down for the rest of this week to make the most of his convertible before we have to trade it in on Saturday (I can now guarantee that this summer will be scorching )

Heaps - PUPO princess   

Jersey - hun I am  like mad for you that it is a heavy implantation bleed   

Nicki -   

LJ - It is lovely to have you posting again, I am hopeful that the clouds are lifting slightly and hope you can now start to fully enjoy being a mummy 

Tracey - welcome back

Mal - thinking of you today 

Anna - think you need one of these as well 

Donkey - I am so sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and hope that by posting here we can support you through these tough tough times 

Girls gotta scoot as in meetings for the rest of the day then on the late flight home, please send me some  vibes as I need her to stay away until Heaps gets back with my drugs as need to start taking the pill on day 1 but she feels like she is on her way


----------



## Han72

Firkin' 'ell I just don't know what to say...

Anna - hope you're at home hon, definitely a duvet and hot water bottle day today and wish I was there to hug you in person... in the meantime, let me send you some of these        

Malini darling, what can I say I am thinking of you constantly. 

My heart hurts


----------



## Spuds

Thanks Driver n Laura xxx 

Clinging on to sanity (just) but want this week over really badly ;(

Anna   

Mal   

Heaps    

Nicki     

When I win the lottery I am going to invest in a 'Fertility Friends Membership Centre' where you get a variety of 'mood rooms' varying in degree from;

1) 'Pink Lush' room - full of duvets, pj's, soft cushions and hot water bottles for stimming
2) 'lost it' room - sound proof of course - full of things to break and smash and scream at
3) Free Devils bar - complete with alcohol, chocolate and everything you shouldnt have and want 24/7 oo er Mrs !
4) Free Angels bar - with juices, waters, vits mins and all that is 'good'
5) Free Zita clinic for those who want it
6) Free consultations and treatment with the best in the East and West - Jinny n Lister
7) A compulsory 'Buggy Races' room for all of us when we get there 
 A set of stocks to throw sponges at people who drive us nuts   including pharmacists !!

Ahhhhh that feals better already - rant over  

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## Han72

YEAH!  Whut she said!  Sounds good to me Mash! You put a smile on my face, thank you    

How're you feelng hon?  Apart from mental that is


----------



## Spuds

Hiya Nix    

Apart from the mental I'm ok - but soooooo mental    - just realised the bleeding seems to have stopped for a bit ? then panicked cos I choffed a bottle of wine last night and now im thinking God - is there a chance the 2nd one may have made it or is it wishful thinking ......and if it has have I bu**ered it up now for being week and needing wine    

Oh Nix - wish could jump on a plane and have a bit of a late lunch with you in Paris instead of this nonsense lol

How are you chick ?

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Spuds -    , I'm sure someone posted here recently that at such an early stage it is Ok to have a little tipple as it doesn't pass to the baby until the placenta has formed......(that might be totally wrong and I have no idea what I am on about.....but I am sure I read it somewhere, so I am going to quote it to you to make you feel a bit more   )


----------



## purple72

Jersey most people don't know they are pregnant at this point (me included - I went out partying boxing night when AF was due and NYE and my bub's is doing fine so far)

Try not to worry it won't have done the baby anyharm unless you continue to do it regular through pregnancy xxx


----------



## Spuds

Driver and Purps

Thank you ladies sooo much xxxx - will of course not drink anymore and see what happens with the bleeding - trying to keep     but so hard .....but then miracles do happen and I could really do with one if his lordship upstairs is listenning   

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## SiobhanG

Great idea with the PR research thread. Do you think we can put queries/questions up there as well? ie the side effects I am having on the DHEA? Am waiting for consultant in Wales to get back to me,
I will call her tomorrow and try and get her on the phone! Someone out there has got to help us self medicating ladies!
I didn’t actually start my period yet. Still lots of AF pains - (some spotting last week and discharge!) not due period until end of week. If I get any info from her I will post on the research thread.


----------



## H&amp;P

Siobhan - what symptoms are you getting from the DHEA? (sorry I have been skim reading and might have missed them  ), I have been taking a week today and the only thing I have noticed is one spot on my mouth......though did have bad AF pains this morning that seem to have disappeared this afternoon to be replaced with bloated tummy and trapped wind (TMI), don't envy the person sat next to me on the aeroplane this evening


----------



## Spuds

Safe journey heaps xxxxx


----------



## Jumanji

Spuds - I sank virtually a whole bottle of champagne on my birthday on 25th April last year.  On 1st May I found out I was expecting Monty.  He is just fine!  Even the doctor told me there was no need to worry.  As others have said, most people do not know they are pregnant by now so please don't fret.


----------



## Spuds

Happy Birthday LJ   mine is 25th April as well !! Amazing taureans hey xxxx

Thanks for your message hun - Have now completely flipped brain because of bleeding and am in floods of tears - really dont think this has worked now - mentally I really dont know if I can cope with this - I feel such a coward really scared and vulnerable    

Sorry for being a pr*t today

Spuds
xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds -    


I have played gyny today trying to fit a moon cup for this chlamydia menstrual blood test I'm having done   Don't care if its good for the environment, will NOT be doing that again! 

Booked a week in Egypt in May today. Same place we went to in Sept, 5 star, all inclusive with its own coral reef, cost just £575 each for everything! That's less than the cost of one IVIG drip!!!! How crazy is that, holidays now seem like a vertitable bargain compared to IF treatment! 

Now need to shift some weight fast, but feeling down so all I want to do is comfort eat  

Question, if I go for counselling and then decide to try adopting further down the line, would social services have access to my records? I know that they do get access to your medical files when assessing you. 
Couldn't break down if I wanted to just in case it impacts our chances of adopting further down the line  

Anna x


----------



## purple72

AnnaSB The mooncups get much easier with use, I was a bit freaked at first but after a month ILOVED mine, also saved me a fortune xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Thinking we may not do a de cycle until next year now. Which means IF it works I'll be 40 when I have my first baby which makes me a bit sad. I want a baby NOW, but given its going to take 3 months to sort all the medical stuff out and get af back, if we cycle in Sept/Oct, we won't have given ourselves a chance to try naturally with immunes. 
I suppose the advantage of de is that the biological clock is not an issue. 
What do you think? 
Anna x


----------



## Züri

Spuds I'm so sorry - hoping for Wednesday for you xx

Donkey sorry you are so low right now  

Tracey did you have a good trip? 

Hi LJ how are you and your little man?

Heaps have a safe journey back

Anna PM me the resort you have booked to go in Egypt, desperate for a holiday and to do some snorkeling, that place sounds wonderful and CHEAP!  Surely fertility counseling will not be held against you for adoption process? if so then that's disgusting!  

Hi everyone else

Well I have just done my first jab - here we go again - went for scan today everything seems OK, similar to the last cycle 4 to 5 antrals total - this was the stage when I came onto this forum when he told me I had a low reserve with 4 to 5 antrals, funny how he didn't say the same today!!

so 1 week stimming then another scan next Monday - it feels so different from last time, last time i was excited and had high expectations, this time I feel sort of flat and going through the motions - maybe not such a bad thing 

xx


----------



## Kittycat104

Zuri - glad the first scan went well and that you are back on the IVF rollercoaster.  Get that hot water bottle out for the stimms! 

Anna - Understand how you feel when you are thinking you might not have a baby untill you are 40 - like you, I am so impatient and every month that goes by is another month without a baby.  Cant help you on the counselling front - surely they can't hold that against you? Maybe worth asking on the adoption thread?

Spuds - so so sorry you are having such a tough time.  Don't worry about the wine - it was Laura who posted for me that it didnt matter about alcohol at this stage as the placenta wouldn't have formed the link yet

Heaps - 6 degrees!  Not good!  Hope you have a safe and stressfree journey home.

Driver - I have got a few spots on the DHEA and feeling a bit strange emotionally, but could just attribute that to this whole IF business anyway.  Won't care if it works.  Are you all sorted for your tandem?  Has AF stayed away?

Hello to everyone else.  

AFM - have been busily researching places to stay in Istanbul for May.  Is keeping me occupied!  Have also started reading Zita West's new IVF book - will keep you informed on any nuggets of wisdom - although I am sure we know them all!

Louise x


----------



## laurab

Zuri - wooo hoooo... your off!    Got those orange knickers at the ready?

Anna - Adoption is not my field but I'm very very very sure dealing with your emotions vi counelling would not be held against you, if anything I would imagine that would be seen as very positive step.  They probably request that you have counselling anyway. And counselling i confiential as well, they would only break that if they thought you or others were at risk.   Holiday sounds great.

Spuds - Nearly there hon.  

Heaps - Safe journey home, nice to get into your on bed.  

I'm feeling very cold.... may head off for an early night. I love my bed..... and I've jut changed the sheets. Lovely.


----------



## popsi

just a quick one as i am soooo behind with this thread.. but i do love you all dearly xx


zuri.. woo hoo lady your on track now xx    

anna... i dont think counselling will go against you honey, as laura said its positive you have seeked help and moved on xx 

hugs go to malini and anna... and to everyone with such sadness

love to everyone else.. sorry i really do need to try to keep up


----------



## Züri

louises104 said:


> Zuri - glad the first scan went well and that you are back on the IVF rollercoaster. Get that hot water bottle out for the stimms!


haha louise you were not around this time last year on my first cycle to know my hot water bottle disaster - I still have the scar on my belly to remind me , I'll not be putting it near my tummy again 

Malini how are you doing? forgot to leave you a hug on my last post   x


----------



## laurab

Sorry Malini - One for you too...  

night all, sleep tight.


----------



## mag108

Jersey 
I LOVE your Centre idea. We NEED it.
xxx to everyone


----------



## H&amp;P

Malini - been thinking about you all day  

Sorry for no personals just got home from Dublin and pooped so off to bed, got my new acupuncture lady at 8am tomorrow.


----------



## Malini

Hi gang,
It is done. I got there at 4pm and they kept me waiting til after 8pm for the op. The OBGYN was lovely. She has had more than one IVF and lost twins at 10wks. Then 3 natural pregnancies and all lost, but then adopted twins from Thailand and positively beamed and said she wouldn't changer her lot for the world now. 

Zuri - so pleased you're scan was positive and you can go. That more measured response is to IVF is entirely legitimate. I believe for you and hope this weeks of stims is miraculous.

Anna - I thought of you often today. Hugs.

Spuds - It is torment. Much love.

To all a hug and thank you for thoughts. Dh is giving me the look.

Malini xxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Umm. I was wondering does anyone know how well estrogen priming works. I think I understand the protocol sort of but just wondering how much does it improve the situation...Having been through 5 failed cycles, I always only produced 2 follicles and I am just wondering how many more follices are produced. I am having a hard time deciding what to do because I have been told the embryo donation or egg donation is my best option but a part of me wants to return to the UK to receive my treatment but I know the wait is forever for egg share/donation.


----------



## TryMeditate

Malini   . Your a brave girl, an inspiration. 

Wishingforanangel -noone can really answer that question, it's all down to individual response. Don't expect to have a lot more eggs. Absolutely the right protocol and clinic can make a difference, look at what changing clinics did for purple. Dimsum who uused to post went to sher inthe us, did the epp, and got the same number of eggs. She did say it was a mature egg, but same number.

I often think if you know you will get two or less, and If your tubes are ok, trying naturally or converting to iui maybe more likely to work vs risking taking the egg out and putting it through the ivf process. 
Sam xxx


----------



## Spuds

Malini - you are so brave and I am so pleased you had such a lovely consultant xxx thinking of you loads    

Girls - thanks for all your support - going in to work today so brave face is back on - test in the morning but more bleeding so not expecting anything now except confirmation but a tiny desperate bit of me is clinging on...xx

Mags - glad you like the centre - i want to book in now 

Laura    

Zuri    

Driver    

Annasb   

Love to all
Spuds
xxxx


----------



## laurab

Malini -   I'm sorry you've had to go through all this rubbish. 

Spud - Good Luck at work.  I'm clinging to a bit of hope for you too.  

I just want you all to know that not a day goes by when I don't thank the fairies, god, the world, the universe whatever for the amazing luck I've had to get my 3 little people.  I really never get complacent about it, I know I am so lucky.  I remember the nights laying awake crying and all the pain and I will never forget that.  I want so much for all of you girls to be as lucky as me whatever route you take.


----------



## Malini

Laura, I never for a minute think otherwise about you. Your posts shine with your gratitude and empower others at the same time. I was chatting to dh about you last night while I waited and waited (my procedure the more complicated of the three on her list and she said she wanted to be able to focus) and never did I feel resentful. I'll bet your good at your job as being able to empathise/sympathise without patronising someone is a rare and valuable skill.

Spuds, Being brave sucks but alas we do some days and if we can't keep it up, we must be forgiving. I too hope for you.

Shortie - Think you may be reading and I am counting down with you and hope AF behaves. 

Driver and Heaps - Welcome home. 
Feel oddly calm today. Am a bit sore but I accepted the packs of Co-dydramol from the hospital and will treat my liver to them until I feel better. My new philosophy is bring on the meds. My brusied heart is pain enough.

I've received emails, PMs, texts and notes on here to which I have not responded but I will do. Please know that we appreciate all of them.

Hope there is something glittery and good in all of your mornings.

Malini xxx


----------



## IzziLu

Malini you constantly amaze and inspire me   Despite everything you have been through you still manage to be so thoughtful to everyone else. I am so glad you had a good gyny as I know a bit of empathy can go a long way. You are a lovely person       for you and your DH.

Anna, counselling is all about sorting through your emotions and if you can't do that in the way you need to and you have to keep your feelings in check then it is of no use to you.  I can't believe it can possibly have an adverse effect on future adoption prospects as dealing with issues in this way shows a level of maturity that many wouldn't even contemplate   

Zuri, good luck with the stimming, hope those follies develop nicely for you    

Spuds, hang on in there and keep hold of that little bit of hope     for you for tomorrow   Loving the centre by the way  

Love to everyone else  

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Lilly7

Morning all 

Laura, what a lovely post . . and I agree wholeheartedly with what Malini wrote.  
Thanks for asking about little puss. We had quite a drama with him actually! I found him a home with a very nice (seemingly) woman . . and took him there last week. Apparently as soon as I left he sat by the door scratching and howling after me and hissed at her whenever she went near him  !!! He has never done that before even when he's been to my friends houses when we were on hols!!! So I took it as a very clear sign that this was not the right place for him and rushed straight back to fetch him. x

Malini, Thinking of you.   I'm so glad that you had such a nice empathic consultant! 

AnnaSB; I lauged at your mooncup tale.  I keep getting tempted to try one . . but am never quite convinced.  

Spuds, I love your idea! Can I book in now please  .  Sending     your way. x

Heaps,         


Hi LJ, Veda, Nix, Popsi, Purple, Driver, IzziLu, Sam, Louise, RC, RH, Zuri, Mag, Wishingforanangel, Siobhan, and anyone else I've missed.

Love to everyone. x


----------



## H&amp;P

malini -  

Spuds -    

Must go and google mooncup  , I have no idea what you are all talking about.

new acupuncture lady was lovely and gave me a head/shoulder massage while the oins were in, could have laid there all day  

AF still not here, period pains gone away again and got a (TMI alert) huge bit of EWCM yesterday afternoon, not sure what's going on down there.........

Heaps - hope you have a smooth jopurney home with your precious cargo.

Nicki -    

Leola - So puss is back home? How is he doing with the others now?


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds -         

Nicki -          

Malini -  glad you had a lovely consultant, it makes such a difference    

Mooncup shmoon cup...it took me 30 minutes to get it out last night   I really thought I was going to have to go to A & E! I was in tears and soaked in sweat. NEVER again! Purps fair play to you but personally I think my nether regions are a bit too uptight for that sort of contraption  

Someone at work has been taken ill so I have the work load from hell...a distraction I suppose. Seeing my nhs consultant for a follow up at 3.30pm. Fat lot of use it will do. Also very unimpressed that I have not seen him during my x3 ivf attempts. I was seen by various nurses and 2 lower level fertility docs. If I went private I would see him all the time, but I would not pay to have tx locally iykwim. Anyway he is also my 'recurrent miscarriage' consultant so expect him to pooh pooh all my immune results and treatment...but I am up for a fight  
Main reason I have accepted a follow up consult is that I want him to do a hysteroscopy privately and I have confidence he would do a good job. Also want to see if he will send a letter to my gp so she can prescribe me celexane & cyclogest  directly when ttc naturally & gestone from a bfp (she already gives me steroids) 
Also having horrific night sweats and I'm v short tempered thanks to the down regging injection still in my system. Will see if I can have a course of hrt. 

Wish I was in egypt now! 

Anna x


----------



## nicki70

Hi Girls - 

Sobroody - Good luck with your appointment today,  hope you don't have too much of a fight on your hands...  

Spuds - Have been thinking about you loads &   you get a happy surprise in the morning.     

I can't decide when I'm going to test  , am desperate to know now as this is just dragging on.
  
My clinic say 2 weeks after ET, which would be Friday, but sure I'd get a reliable result tomorrow if I tested. Which would be 2 weeks after EC, same as Spuds.
Also on Friday I start work at 8am, where as tomorrow not till 12.30pm so would have time to digest the result.  DH insisting we should do it Thurs pm........  

O well - just wish this week was over! 



Love Nicki xx


----------



## Jal

Malini    you are a very strong lady

Spuds -   

Laura - what a lovely post, I think your story inspires us all.

Sobroody - hope your appt goes well, don't work too hard!!

Nicki70     

AFM, had EC yesterday and got 10 eggs out of 11 follies so was over the moon, I was quite ill last night though and spent plenty of time on the loo and was sick once but seems to have calmed down a bit this morning. Had the call and 6 have fertilised so the same we had to play with last time, booked on for ET on Thursday unless we go to blasts, in 2 minds about whether I want to as last time I had 2/3 grade 1s at day 3 and in the end we ended up with 1 slow blast on day 6 but you never know how well they would have done inside me).

Hello and love to everyone xxx


----------



## nicki70

Jal - That's fantastic news!  Such a good result!    

It's a really difficult decision when to put back, especially as you say you just don't know how much better they would get on once back inside you.  We've never had more than 2 embies so the decision didn't need to be made, it was always a day 2 transfer.  I guess it's a bit more waiting &  .

Will have everything crossed for you!  

Nicki xx


----------



## IzziLu

Wowee Jal, that's a fantastic result     Hope all goes well over the next couple of days, the decision over blasts must be a difficult one but hopefully your instincts will point you in the right direction  

Nicki, I can't imagine how frustrating the wait must be for you having never made it to the 2WW myself (yet   - ever hopeful!) but in your position I think I'd defo be tempted to try tomorrow morning.  Like you say it gives you time to think about the result and am is better for testing than pm so all due respect to DH but perhaps Thurs eve not the best option!       Thinking about you and Spuds loads   

Driver   Heaps is almost home isn't she?

Heaps, hope you've had a safe journey - take care of yourself PUPO lady   

AnnaSB, hope the consult goes well today, give 'em 'ell - it can work! 

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Jumanji

Jal - congrats! Your response just keeps on improving!!  

Malini -


----------



## Ourturn

Jal - congrats on a great crop!  

AFM - we turned up at the hopsital and gues what the appointment is next Tuesday   Could have sworn it was this week!


----------



## Hopestar

Girls 
Sorry to jump in on your thread but ye seem to have a lot of experience of immune issues=

Can anyone advise- my clinic wants me to take 4mg/100ml (20%) intralipids along with humira,steroids,clexane and asprin for high nk cells >>>>Im in a panic as other girls seem to be having higher doses?
Thanks
H


----------



## purple72

Malini Hunny    so sorry for what you're going through, made me fill up reading your attitude to the pain killers - that your poor heart is hurting enough! My heart goes out to you sweet Lady!

Jal!! woohooo!! what a fab response. I'd say speak to the embriologist about your concerns, i know it's not as easy especially when you hav eso far to travel for ET but maybe call them tomorrow and see how they are doing! Well done sweetie and rest up soon you will be PUPO!!!

AnnaSB hunny did you watch the videao on you tube that's how I learned (not a woman putting it in just someone going through how they do, also what size did you get I got small) Anyway I'll PM you my mobile and if you want any advice let me know! Hugs hunny

Love to all xxxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

sam22 said:


> Malini  . Your a brave girl, an inspiration.
> 
> Wishingforanangel -noone can really answer that question, it's all down to individual response. Don't expect to have a lot more eggs. Absolutely the right protocol and clinic can make a difference, look at what changing clinics did for purple. Dimsum who uused to post went to sher inthe us, did the epp, and got the same number of eggs. She did say it was a mature egg, but same number.
> 
> I often think if you know you will get two or less, and If your tubes are ok, trying naturally or converting to iui maybe more likely to work vs risking taking the egg out and putting it through the ivf process.
> Sam xxx


Thanks Sam for your response. I wasn't expecting a whole lot more follices...I was just hoping maybe for 4 so I could actually get to an IVF procedure. I don't think my tubes are blocked but I think from what my Ob-Gyn is stating there could be some sort of fluid that may seems to possible prevent the embryos from traveling through my tubes and implanting. I don't know what it is called exactly. Sigh. I'm not sure what to do...

Does anyone know of a good Clinic in the UK that does this. I know Nikki2008 was stating a clinic in marques Barcelona was good. Sort of feeling more comfortable with the UK because you speak English and my Spanish is horrible. I guess I was still hoping for a Scottish sperm donor too, which is really not all that important really. I guess there is something hysterically funny about a guy who is able to run around in winter in a skirt (umm kilt) that works into my sense humor. Don't why really...

Just wanted to mention that you guys are cool. You guys move really quick that it is hard to keep up with you but I am glad there are loads of you too because you guys really try to help each other.


----------



## purple72

Hey Wishing I have a clinic that I's recommend with ALL my HEART The Lister in London. They worried I had fluid in one of my tubes too it's called Hydrosalphinx and can inhibit implantation but in the end it was a cyst that was outside the tube so they decided to leave it. I seen Dr Faris at the Lister and he promised me he'd go to EC with one follie as long as the hormone levels were good and it was what we wanted. In the end he BOTH times got more so I trust him.

Maybe it'd be worth a consult?

Good luck hunny xx


----------



## Züri

just popping is to give top hugs to Malini and AnnaSB    xx

Congrats on the 10 eggs Jal! wow! 

Nicki keeping all crossed for you xx


----------



## mag108

just popping on to say hugs to Mal, it's a tough procedure to go through. You've been very brave. Sounds like the obs-gyb lady was supportive which makes ALL the difference
xxx

Hopestar, try this immunes thread. http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229564.225

Finally got to speak to Dr G today, thats my 3rd day of trying. He suggested going to Athens again (3rd go) and to do Paternal LIT this time. (I havent really paid attention to the list cos I always assumed we would do donor and was hoping not to have to go three times to Athens). It involves getting us both their but also a lorry load of blood tests before. Just getting to the point of meltdown

Am feeling very overwhelmed by it all, I will be honest.


----------



## Malini

Jal - Congrats. That's a fab haul. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Anna - I've done that! It makes you feel so deflated. But hopefully next week will be an easier time to pick your battles. Hugs.

Wishing - I don't think the UK clinics do EPP, but I may be wrong. If that's what you want then I'd consider the US. I have cycled in the UK and pricewise it is about the same as top UK clinic and, in my case, it was better to be away from life and just cycling. That's just me. The US clinic I went to didn't recommend EPP to me this time round because my E2 levels climb when I am stimmed.
I didn't more eggs in the States but my fertilization was better.

Mag - I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed. I feel it with just the autoimmune stuff and comparatively that's so much less stressful. I wish I understood it all better so I could be of some use to you. I do care though and if you ever want to chat it through, I am here. It doesn't help you with all the additional bloodwork and getting to Athens. I liked Dr Gorgy despite his insensitive comment but I do worry that his approach is to throw the kitchen sink at everyone which is hard to take.

Heaps - Hope you're home and resting up.

Nicki - If you test remember those soddin' things are sometimes broken at the beginning of a positive and can mislead you.

Spuds - Instead of planning my now thrwarted house reno project in the middle of the night I will be praying for you.
I'm not brave or strong particularly but thank you for saying it. We've just been told our planning permission for the barn is being refused for the second time and I cried. I know I live a charmed life but I need a sign from the heavens atm that life is going to have a good surprise for me up its sleeve at some point.

Love to you all.
Malini xxx


----------



## laurab

Malini - You are brave, and amazing. I'm not sure I would have coped going through all youve been through and coming on here and offering support.  we should be taking care of you. I'm sorry your barn appication has been turned down... can you appeal, or was that your appeal?  

Jal - wow. Great news.  

Zuri - Hows the jabs going?

Anna - Dont go crazy with the work.  You need to rest a little youve been through so much.  

Mag - The immunes stuff confuses me.  I can see how its all overwhelming.

Heaps - how you doing?

Spuds and Nickki - Good luck for tomorrow girls, will be sleeping with my eyes crossed for you both.


----------



## mag108

heaps welcome back!

Mal: thanks sweetie. x

xxx to everyone
x


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - if he recommended paternal lit then why not do it with him instead of going to Athens? I understand he's starting to do lit soon? How come he recommended paternal lit? Do you and dh not share a match? Dr G recommended a 3rd lit with pooled donors for me. Dr T agreed, I'm booked in for 20th April.

Malini  

Laura - can you add me a friend on **? Would love to see pics of the chiplets..will pm you. 

Work is so manic. Doing the job of two at the mo. Thank god I have our break in May to look foward to. Diet not going well. We've just had a creamy pasta, home made garlic bread, salad & red wine.

Anna x


----------



## laurab

Are we not already friends?  I am so confused who is who on **! Did someone have a list?  

How you feeling?  You still working too hard?


----------



## Emmahoping

Hi Ladies, could anyone help me, Ive had a poor response to stimms. I have 2 18mm follies, 1 9mm and 1 11mm. The clinic have said that I need a minimum of 3 decent follies to make egg collection on friday. They have already given me two extra days of stimms 300mg of menpur. Ive had scan today and they have said I have to go back tomorrow to see if the 11mm has grown any? Is this possible in 24hours? Im so gutted   xx


----------



## Kittycat104

Anna - my diet is rubbish too.  Have failed to do the exercise I told myself I would this week, plus have just eaten a pizza followed by mini eggs.  Wish there was a magic pill I could take and instantly be a size 10.  Bit like the pill I could take and magically be pregnant.

Laura - I would love to see the chiplets too - will PM you my real name for **!

Heaps - welcome home.

Malini - I think you are overdue a sign from the heavens...surely it must be coming along any time now.  Where is your barn?

Mags - I am a bit lost on the LIT/immune stuff too.  Am just hoping it doesn't turn out to be an issue for me too, have only just got my head round IVF.

Jal - 10 eggs is amazing.  What is your secret?

Nicki - I know that 'dont know when to test feeling' - ignorance can be bliss and its a pain if you know you have to rush into work afterwards

Purple - I am lost on the mooncup issue - am I missing out?

Zuri - did the hot water bottle burst?

Hello to everyone else xxx

AFM - another manic day at work.  Feel like strangling my boss.  I blame it on the DHEA.  Only 2 weeks til I leave - hurrah!  Another news of a colleague's pregnancy today who apparently 'wasn't trying'.  I am on the Fertility and Nutrition chapter in the new Zita West book.  No mention of pizzas and mini eggs, sadly.

Louise x


----------



## Ourturn

Emma - insist they let you go to ec. You have 2 good follies there!  They have not put you on a high enough dose of stimms     Threaten them with a complaint through PALS 
Anna x


----------



## laurab

Emma -by Friday you ould have 4 juicy eggs.  Push for Ec hon... don't take no [email protected]

I'll go and friend you girlies up...


----------



## Emmahoping

Its NHS they seem to have rules and thats it! I offered to pay for more stimms today, but no!


----------



## Spuds

Girls just a quickie am whacked from first day back at work   

Malini - may be able to help on ye old planning permission - have you got a consultant ? I cant do that for you but know some excellent ones & I'm a Development Surveyor by trade and hubby is a Building Surveyor so we can always help to get you in the right direction xxxx - pm me when you are up to it and we will get that dream barn of yours honey     

Nicki - sending you bl**dy loads of these             good luck when ever you do your test my love - I got confused last time but checked with Lister and for them they do 2 weeks post EC xxxxxxx

Heaps     

Jal - wehay wot a crop my lovey xxxxxx

Emmahopping - can you insist on collection anyway ?? xxxxx 
Laurab Driver Mag Zuri Nix Annasb Shortie Anna and all of you - thank you thank you thank you for all your support


Spuds
xxxxxx


----------



## laurab

If its your free NHS go, ask them to convert to IUI (is that an option) and get them to give you your free go again and this time on full stimms no down regging.    They did that for me (I had no follies at all first go), i had to pay for the stimming drugs for the next cycle, think thats pretty standard procedure.  Hopefully they'll be happy that the follie is growing tom anyway and all wil go ahead anyway.   Let us know ho you get on.  

Spuds -    You still bleeding?


----------



## Spuds

Hi Laura   

Yep - seems to have stopped for a bit yesterday - then here again but not heavy - no cramps at all but that must be cos still using cyclogest ? who knows ? brain is boggled    having glass of wine   

Spuds
xxxxx


----------



## Malini

Spuds! You'll laugh at this but my dh is a property surveyor too but specialises in shops. He pretends to understand the structure of buildings but actually just memorises high streets all over the city. He wants me to tell you (I have no clue what he is on about) that he is often seen tapping on hotel room walls in a John Cleese type fashion.

Think we need to go to bed. The barn is in the Peak District and getting planning out of the meanies is near on impossible. I will PM you all the same and have some SG info too to share but in the meantime I pray for tomorrow for you and Nicki. 

And grow follies grow for Zuri.

Orange wishes for Heaps.

Night all,
Malini xxx


----------



## wishingforanangel

Purple 72 - Thanks about mentioning lister. I have heard some positive things about the on the board. It would be convenient to see them to considering that the clinic is in London.


Malini - Thanks about the suggestion about doing the EPP in the United States. Being that I am here in the States...I am really not hot to trot about using a clinic here. I have received fertility treatment here in the United States and for some reason the doctor flipped out because I hit a rough patch with 5 failed cycles, which I assumed was normal. Tried to move to a new specialist but the old doctor flipped out the new doctor and both doctors communicated with each other without my consent. I am beginning to think that all the fertility doctors here in the States has gone totally insane and have no ethics.

Malini it sounds like you have hit a rough patch of your own and I hope it gets better soon.


----------



## Malini

Wishing- I don't know where you've been and that is an awful experience. I cycled in Las Vegas and with SIRM. I don't rate the ethics of the British fertility community either though. There is so much in-fighting about immunes and private clinics as well as NHS clinics refusing to cycle women with high FSH/low AMH because their precious stats might be hurt by them. The Lister has rave reviews on here but I wouldn't go there after a miserable experience. The chap that heads the unit seems very nice but he no longer speaks to the chap who heads up the ARGC which means less joined up thinking and poorer care. It is a mess. Having said that SIRM treated me well and have continued to during my MMC. I wish I lived in the North America, but I would say that as I am Cdn and would love to leave Britain - total bias accepted!

Good luck to you,
Malini x


----------



## laurab

Morning,

Just checking in for any news of our 'testers' this morning.


----------



## beachgirl

I'm lurking in the office waiting too laura x


----------



## laurab

You ok beachy?  I miss our little chats. Hope all ok with you.


----------



## beachgirl

Hiya laura, me too    x


----------



## Jal

Lurking too waiting for news   , can't believe I'm off work and still up at 7:30am everyday!!

Thnx for all the msgs.

Louises - wish there was a magic formula, after bing cancelled on my 1st cycle after NO RESPONSE I never thought I would get 10 eggs, my 2nd and 3rd cycle I only got 4, on my 1st tx I was on LP and they just couldn't get me started again after DR on buserilin. 2nd and 3rd I was on SP, didn't down reg at all, didn't even take the pill. The only thing the Lister changed was that they put me on the pill for 3 weeks and then max dose of menopur (which I was on for 2nd and 3rd). I then take redoxen and selenium, just before I start stimming and during and have used the hot water bottle alot more this time. Not sure why my response suddenly changed! I also had really bad quality on 2nd and 3rd but 4th I had some grade 1s on day 3 although they did then all arrest (apart from 1) when we went to blasts. Really hoping to either get to day 3 with some grade 1s or to get a good blast this time, the waiting and madness has already started.

Morning Laura and Beachy!

Emmahoping - I had 9 follies on my scans and then 2 appeared on my final scan (Fri), they were very small but one must have caught up by EC (Mon), as they got 10, so there is still a chance more will appear   

J x


----------



## Spuds

Morning Girls

Sorry its a BFN for me n DH - not unexpected but still makes your blood run cold    

Had such hopes for this cycle but bled earlier than the first ? Ladies do you think it means I have immune or other issues as not making it to OTD even with double cyclogest or is it just down to plain old bad luck of which I am the proud sponsor  

Cant think beyond having time out at the minute - 12k and 2 cycles later fealing pretty glum and I know thats nothing in comparison to what so many of you have been through ;( not as radio rental as i was first time round so thats an improvement !

Mal - tell your dh he made me laugh - its so sad but you will see me n dh doing the same randomly in peoples houses checking out if the walls are partition or not etc really funny - and its embarassing walking down the road with us cos we just keep seeing exciting window frames and the like     - Lake District - ooo no building aloud there ever  seriously they are a pain in the arris but pm me anyway and if we can help in any way would love to


----------



## Jal

Spuds, really really sorry, all you can do is take some time out and don't worry about making any plans at the moment, I'm not sure about how to stop the bleed appearing earlier, when I asked about aspirin last time, the consultant asked if I bled early and I said no so she said I didn't need it so may be worth asking about that in your FU   

J x


----------



## Lilly7

Spuds, I'm so sorry.


----------



## H&amp;P

Sorry up to my eyes in work did another 13hr day yesterday and got to be up at 5am again tomorrow to fly back to Ireland so struggling to keep up 

Spuds - , so sorry to raed your news, can't help on the bleeding early as I also had that 

Nicki -   

Heaps -    when is OTD? Don't work too hard today, and hopefully get to see you soon. 

in case anyone hasn't seen the latest on acupuncture and IVF, I'm still booked in for my course though
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8558527.stm

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## nicki70

Girls,

It's a BFN form me too  

Obviously feeling very sad, but relieved it's all over.  This was my 2nd NHS go, looking to move on to a 'proper' clinic now. One that tailors their protocol to you & not the '1 thing suits all' that Queen Marys do.  

I'm very grateful to have received any treatment on the NHS, but seriously, this clinic haven't checked my FSH in 18 months, they told me my previous poor response was due to diminished egg reserve & to check my AMH for 'counselling' purposes - it came back at over 20!!  No problems there then. 
They sent me off to have a 'Polyp' removed which added 5 months onto my last cycle - turns out I didn't have one....  The surgeon (my consultant from a different IVF clinic) even wrote to them suggesting the correct protocol for a better response, they didn't pay any attention.

AHHHHH, anyway looks like I'll be checking out The Lister very soon.

Spuds -    

Love Nicki xx


----------



## Malini

Oh Spuds darling, I am so sorry. It may be that you need gestone injections instead of the pessaries. I know a number of people for whom that has made a difference. But none of that helps right now. The immune issue question is tricky because it is so controversial and unclear. If you are planning de ever then you will need to know.

More than anything I'd like to take the disappointment away. Big hugs for you.

Ta for comments about surveying and such like. I spend a lot of my life with shop agents and surveyors of all description. It is the Peak District so not quite as bad as the Lake, but still a hostile bunch. I will PM you. 

I had three cycles and no joy and then this 4th short lived miracle, so it isn't over for you in my opinion.

Malini xxx


----------



## laurab

Spuds, Nikki - I'm so sorry girls. Take some time for you and maybe plan something nice for the weekend, even if its just renting loads of dvds and snuggling up on sofa.  You both sound ok, BUT bfn's never seem to hit me straight away, took few days to sink in, so make sure you don't expect too much of yourselves over the next few weeks.  Lots of love.  

morning Mal.  

Leola - Meant to yest, sounds like you did right thing with kitty.  Back to square one then? Is work still hectic.  I still don't know where you are.... you'll have to pm me.... I'll have a look if any of our clients are that way and then offer to do the review and pop in for cuddles with all your animals... and you!!  

Driver - I used to love my acupunture.  Some real 'me' time. Not read article yet but if anything makes you feel good I think it can only be a positive thing.


----------



## purple72

Oh Nikki  and Spuds so very sorry for you and your DH's Wish I had words to take away your pain but all I can offer is my heartfelt    to you all at this sad time.   

Spuds I never made it to test day with either of my cycles that made it to ET in fact like you 2nd time I bled after 8 days. I spoke with Dr Faris and requested gestone for my next cycle which he agreed to but he didn't actually feel it would make any difference. Not sure it's indicative of immunes though as I wouldn't have got this far with immune issues (I'm praying)

Big hugs to all seems like our PR board is due a change of fortune, we really have been hit with a horrid patch!

Love to all xxx


----------



## wishy-washy

Nicki –       – so sorry it’s a BFN. Do take time to get over the news do you have DH with you? Well done for feeling so positive about the next step but do take time for yourself. 

Spuds –       for you too. We were all holding out hoping it wouldn’t be this way. 

Heaps – Welcome back and congrats on being PUPO

Anna – hugs

Emmahoping – I hope your scan went ok today and the 11mm is catching up. 

Jal – 10 eggs well done. I pray you have a nice choice of embies to go back. 

Louise – (apologies if I have got the wrong person) I think you have made a wise decision if you can manage without working for a bit, go for it and get some you time. IF is very stressful. I took my redundancy as a sign that I needed to step out of the 9-5 for a bit. I couldn’t face doing IVF again while working full time. 

Sending love to all. 

Wishy


----------



## laurab

How you feeling wishy?


----------



## wishy-washy

Malini said:


> I know I live a charmed life but I need a sign from the heavens atm that life is going to have a good surprise for me up its sleeve at some point.


"I say this because I know what I am planning for you," says the lord. "I have plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future" (Jeremiah 29 verse 11)

I remember posting when I was down that when I got my PMA back I'd post and try to lift others spirits.

Please do ignore this if it is not for you as I don't want to force it on anyone. But it gave me a huge PMA boost so thought it might be useful for others. I've deliberated as to whether to post this as I don't want to offend anyone but here goes. 

I lost my panic-iness, anguish, worry and fear about my future when someone passed me a piece of paper with Jeremiah 29 verse 11 (above). Yes, it was in church after I had blubbed my way thought yet another family service, and having screamed at God (in my head) for putting me through so much pain and never listening to me.

I wasn't brought up religious and I have never really felt a connection until now. I have been going to church since we got married 5 years ago, I probably went for all the wrong reasons, I didn't know anyone where we lived, the church school is the best in the area, and I was godmother to my niece and nephew and DH wanted to go. But I did want to be more involved and to learn as we got married in a Church which was important to me. Even though I've wanted to be more involved infertility has pushed me further away. E.g my prayers are never answered so what is the point.

The Jeremiah quote was my turning point but I was strangely led to other passages, about being in a dark place which strengthens character to produce patience which leads to hope for the future. (Romans 5 2-5) and Psalm 13. And not worrying as god will provide (Matthew 6 v.25-33). God will provide in his own time. It might not be to our timescales but it will happen.

I would have never imagined that I would post something like this, I have never spoken about my faith before. I know God isn't for everyone but if this post gives one person confidence and hope for their future then it is worth it. It has definitely helped me relax and feel that I have hope and faith. And I am so grateful for God for answering my prayers.

I pray  that all our dreams come true. Why would God give us this longing to be a mum if this wasn't his plan for us? Hang in there girls and stay strong.

I really hope this isn't out of place, do give me  s if I've said something I shouldn't.


----------



## wishy-washy

Hi Laura, Fine thank you, I worried myself the last 2 weeks over pain in my left side and was convinced it was ectopic but then the pain subsided and the gp said it was too early for that pain so I’ve stopped worrying for now. Was a bit sick yesterday which I was grateful for but it seems to have almost vanished today. I am just feeling so grateful and wish I could rub some of my luck off on everyone else here.


----------



## laurab

Yup I understand the wanting to rub your luck off on everyone.  I  had an ectopic, I was dizzy and collapsed in a huge amount of pain by 6 weeks so try not to worry. easier said than done I know. Youdo get lots of stretching and pulling pains in those early weeks.


----------



## Ourturn

Spuds - I am so sorry hun, its very unfair        

Nicki - I'm so sorry, their is no justice sometimes        

Ladies 
My af is very strange. Normalish bleed Sunday, the had almost disappeared by Monday pm. Got really bad af pains last night and AF has started up again. 
Any ideas?
Anna x


----------



## laurab

SB- Strangley my AF has alays done that. bleed for 2 days,stop for oneishthenback for another day.  No idea what it means though!


----------



## LV.

Spuds - I'm so sorry petal. I know you were prepared for this but it doesn't make it much easier does it? I hope your Jersey adventure is a good distraction and you can be excited about moving somewhere with all that fresh air and lovely jersey cream for your scones in preparation for becoming a (pretend) famers wife! I wonder if we will have time to sneak in a lunch/ dinner/ coffee/ large G&T before you go? Would be lovely to catch up one last time before you are much further away, let me know how you are fixed  

Nicky -  Sorry petal but please take heart that your hormone results are good - a new clinic will be a good move for you.

Anna - hope work isn't too painful. My AF tends to run amock after a cycle before settling down. You have hormones all over the place and sometimes they don't know what to do so I don't think it's unusual to be messed up  

Wishy - they are lovely quotes, I'm glad this has helped you. I'm hoping my acupuncture will have a similar calming effect for me. Already some of the words of wisdom learning about Tao has helped me feel a bit better about things

Malini - brave, brave gal. There will be a sign soon enough petal. The fuzz will clear and you will see the way ahead, I hope it comes at the speed you need it to.  That said, to me, the grieving process is necessary to move on without an unhealthy emotional hangover (if that makes sense?) so please take all the time you need lovely.  

AFM - had a big cry last night with DP. I've been feeling really disconnected from him for a while now and couldn't work out why. I've been getting worried with the wedding coming up, panics and doubts that I shouldn't be feeling like this leading up to our big day. It all came out last night and realised it's been building since we got the results of his reversal failure. I don't think we dealt with that properly at the time and I was being very pragmatic and "oh well, onwards and upwards" and just ignored it, head in the sand and thought about the wedding. Not very good as it's been a bit of a rift. We had a lovely chat though and I feel a bit better for working out what's wrong (so obvious but sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees can you?!)

Im sh1tting myself about our next round, part of me wants to go straight to DE and save me the  heart ache of dealing with the fact that my eggs are probably shot but there's the other bit that says "one last go". 

Anne - I think you said it about grieving for your own eggs, I'm feeling the same. Sad that I might not have my own biological child. I know I will adore any baby however we might get there but I think it's quite a landmark in this journey to admit it's not going to happen with your own eggs and move on and accept an alternative route.

Love LadyV xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Laura - that doesn't sound right to me. Have you ever mentioned it to your doc? Thanks for adding me on **. I loved looking at the pics of your lovely chippers. They are so fab. Amazing how much they have grown and changed. Your bump was huge!   How many weeks were you when they arrived? 

Ladyv - glad you managed to clear the air with dh  

Malini -  

Spuds & Nicky  more  to you both

Hi Wishywashy, Purps, Driver and anyone else who is around. 

Actually I now nb AF behaved like this after ivf no1


----------



## SiobhanG

Spuds/Nik

I am so, so sorry. It’s awful, and I hope you know there are people out here who are empathising with you. You’ve both got to just have the patience to know that this (intense!) pain and disappointment will pass.
Spuds regards to the early bleed – how much cyclogest were you on?
My first cycle I was on 200 and bled 6 days after ET. Second cycle I was on 400 and didn’t actually have any bleed until I stopped the cyclogest. Don’t know if that’s helpful to you.

For those of you interested in what Mrs Janet Evans reply to my DHEA query here it is

“If you are getting to egg collection with nice eggs that fertilise and make embryos for transfer, and even better have had a biochemical pregnancy then I shouldn’t give up- also your AMH is not too bad. (My AMH is 4.4 –should be 10-15) Natural cycles are probably not a good guide to what happens in an IVF cycle- so my advice would be not to dwell too much on that
Good luck”

As you can see she hasn’t actually answered the query about the DHEA causing cycle irregularities (I probably gave too much personal information in my original email, in fact I probably gave her my life story!) I have gleaned from what she is saying that cycle irregularities won’t really make a difference during the IVF cycle, and she hasn’t advised I stop the DHEA. However as things have definitely changed “downstairs”,  AF hasn’t come yet, I have had some spotting, discharge and AF pains for the last week (not due till Sunday). I have emailed her again asking for advice on the DHEA. As soon as she gets back to me I’ll post her response. 

I know Driver has posted the link about latest news on acupuncture and while many of us would disagree, I feel I must point out, please be careful when choosing an acupuncturist. I went to a highly recommended one in London last year for 8 months. And I found him to be rude (taking phone calls during my session etc) When I got pregnant which would have happened just prior to me starting acupuncture, he tried to take credit for it. He told me not to bother with IVF as he could give me a 50% chance. Of course none of it panned out and when I tried to get an appointment on the day of ET he told me he was fully booked – and although I had spent £1000 on sessions he wouldn’t even try to squeeze me in.


----------



## Malini

Nicki - We must have been posting at the same time and so it seems my post ignores your end to this cycle.  I AM SO SORRY.  I feel for you and know that disappointment too well.   for better times ahead for you.

Wishy - Thanks for your PMA story and sharing that scripture passage.  It is not for me, but I respect your beliefs.  My dh is Catholic and believes.  I have faith in little at the moment and none in religion.  But I do hope your pregnancy continues smoothly and you are rewarded for finding your way through dark times.

Siobhan - It is interesting what you have written and shared about DHEA. Thank you.  It is also kind of that  woman to send you a positive message (although she missed the point!).  I blame a manipulative, Harley Street acupuncturist for making me anti-IVF/IF treatment and possibly ruining what chance I had when my eggs were more plentiful and probably better quality.  She told me to have the 'grace to accept what I was given'.  I have a better acupuncturist now who doesn't manipulate my feelings or my life choices but assists me.  I think your warning is wise.

LV - Well done for having that chat with dh.  I remember the time before my wedding as being stressful and full of doubts.  Everyone kept telling me it would be the best day of my life and then asking for their food to be cooked facing the East, etc ... If I am honest the best day of my life was the morning I woke up as a wife, next to the man I loved with the entire hassle of the day before over.  I know most people love their weddings but I would have left mine after the ceremony (the only bit that mattered to me) and gone home, changed into jim-jams and watched a movie.  And I love a party.  It was a GREAT day but it was also a lot of expectation and hard work too.

A   for you Spuds. 

Heaps - Take care.    

Driver - You too, that company makes you earn your crust and I hope it doesn't deplete you.

Anna - So sorry AF is making life tricky for you.  I think there are too many hormones in your body still for it to figure out what it is doing.  Not much help.  

AFM, I had my Anti-D injection this morning.  Just another bruise alongside my gestone ones.  All fine.  A dear friend took me to the hospital as dh had to go back to work and face all the fathers with their perfect, fertile wives. So it is lonely, old me with Charlie again doing what we did before.  Trying not to be angry, trying not to cry in public, trying to believe in the future -- wanting to go to bed and stay there for a LONG time.  Our dear Nix came round y'day afternoon and I contemplated taking her hostage because I felt brave and special in her company - she offers that type of magic.  She has put me in touch with a travel agent and my gorgeous dh is taking us away somewhere warm in 10 days.  See I do have a charmed life, now I need to act like I do.

To all I have missed  ; it is never intentional.  My head is wrecked (but tbh it was before).

M xxx


----------



## Spuds

Sneaked home at lunchtime - just want to get some massive cuddles in for Nicki                   

Will catch up properly tonight

Spuds
xxxx


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## laurab

Spuds-   

Malini-  your posts are always so beautiful. Some sunshine on your bones will be lovely. You have just lost a much wanted baby.... e do not expect you to acting anyway at all. Just be you, some sunshine, charlie and barn can't take awayyour pain but i hopethey are of some comfort to you.  

SB - Nonever thought anything of it really, my cycle is normally a bit short too.. about 26 days although I think its gotlonger since the chippers,its not painful anymore either but ovulation is very painful...... who knows whats going on in there! Yup my bump a huge... I even got stuck in the bath once completey wedged in, tim had to climb in behind me and push me out from behind!   i was just over 34 weeks when I had them.  

Wheres the sunshine gone?


----------



## dimsum

Hello all and hello wishingforanangel.

sam22 mentioned I'd done the EPP. It didn't make me produce more eggs - in fact it was the worst cycle I've done with regard to the amount of follicles produced. Only 2 follies and one ovary did not respond at all! However, that's not to say it doesn't work cos clearly it does for some. Estrogen does help prevent me producing one runaway follicle though. I've posted something about that on the PR research board along with my experiences of using Clomid with Gonal F.

   to all who need them.


----------



## Spuds

Evening all

Girls - you are so inspirational and supportive - thank you thank you thank you for all your help advice and guidance xxxx it is sooooooooo reassuring to have you - all of you     I got a really helpful e mail back today as well from Dr Wren and Jane at Zita's & between that and you lot I'm armed with some questions for our follow up on the 31st March   

I keep forgetting that it is 10% chance for me per cycle vs a 25% for the 'normals average' and I am not a pessimist at all but I think I forget that bit sometimes and get really angry when things dont work when I want them too    

Wishy Washy - thanks honey for your post - I know it takes a lot of courage to say 'religeous' things but what is so great here is that the girls truly respect diversity on opinion and beliefs and that is what makes us even more fabulous  I have to say for me your post struck a chord - I have 'refused' to go to church for a long time because it is too painful to even pray sometimes - this time I got the courage to do so and it didnt work - but I do feal the need to go to Church again when I get to Jersey not least to have a few words with his Lordship/Ladyship up there !! 'There is a saying 'let go and let God' ...and when Im fealing angelic I can go with that - other times I turn into a bit of a rebelious  and think stuff it  but your post really helped me so thank you


----------



## Spuds

LV - sending you loads of love honey - I know how scary pants it is xxxx - may be in town next week to have a drink but its all going a bit mad re time xxxxx will let you know if we can squeeze a gnt in   

Mal - so pleased you had some good company today love - it really is the pitts - wish I could wave magic wand and press the fast forward button for you and dh so much honey xxxx getting a break somewhere warm sounds like a fab plan xxxxx

Siobhan - thanks love xxx upped it to 400 a day but will change to injections next round xxx

Spuds
xxx


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## mag108

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to all my pr friends

Spuds: really sorry to hear that news. Its such a rollercoaster sweetie. Take all the time you need to drown your sorrows, plenty of wine and treats. sending you a big hug.


Driver: they come out with this anti complmentary therapy stuff every few yrs. When I heard it I thought, great, another bashing. Those of us who use acu know it works for us. Have just come back from my session 100% more chilled than when I went in (and I went in in quite a state)

Nikki: very sorry it hasnt worked out for you this time. Sending you a big hug and hope you get to have some you time to take stock and recover. Your clinic sound like quite a bunch, steer clear!

Jal: 10 eggs well done. 

Wishy: You are good to share that with us. I am not there with you but its clearly made a big difference to you which is lovely to hear. I used to meditate but stopped and dont think I could now cos I would spend my time upset.a

LV: I am totally with you on the sh88ting it. me too. Thinks its natural response really to it all. xx

Mal: Its so hard to hold it together at these times. You might not be able to and that is ok, who on earthe would. Reallt glad you are getting away somewhere. Can you give yourself to your bed and jim jams and hide for a bit til you feel more like it? It is a big loss hun. Expect it to take some time.

x
Had another pretty stressful day today but this is my fav ite of TV so I am going to 4get it all now
(anyone else watch Desparate Housewives?)
x


----------



## fluffy jumper

Jersey and Nicki, I am sorry you got a BFN.  It doesn't make it any easier whether you were expecting it or not.  

Malini.  I am glad you and DH are giong to get away, make sure you choose somewhere as child free as possible, the last thing you need is to end up by a pool with families all around.  I hope time brings you a little peace.  If you want to meet for lunch or after work any day just let me know.  

Mag, I love desperate housewives, unfortunately I missed a series a while back so I keep trying to catch up with box sets but then another series starts on TV that I can't watch until caught up.
I am sorry you are having such a hard time with immunes trying to decide what to do for the best.  It is just so hard to know isn't it.  In a way I am glad I have only had the tests you get with Dr S at least it means I don't have to think too hard as pred is all I will take on my next cycle.


----------



## Suzie W

Hi All,
Its been nearly a year since I've posted on this thread. I'm really sorry to see that it has been a tough time. Malini I am so sorry to hear your news   and   for Jersey and Nikki. I justed wanted to remind everyone of my story in 2008 my day 2 fsh was nearly 18 and my amh was 4.8, my left ovary is damaged after a large endometrioma. i found a huge amount of support on this thread which I am still appreciative of. Our second cycle produced 4 mature eggs which all fertilised and we went to blast. My two month old son is sleeping in my lap as I type this. I was told that there was a less than 5% chance of getting pregnant with ivf and was on the receiving end of the de speech. I am grateful every day for him and still feel the pain of IF. IF is such a hard journey and the worst part is the not knowing. I guess I just wanted to remind everyone that it is possible when things seem so bleak.

love,
Suzie.


----------



## Malini

Thanks Suzie and Congrats to you. I am thrilled and feel enormous goodwill from every PR baby. Wishing you more and more peace away from IF daemons, but I appreciate they never go away.

Ahh Tracey, you're on my wavelength. Booked somewhere with our own pool. I started to show last week and am bruised from gestone and clexane so really can't tolerate anyone but dh (and feel bad that he has to endure my flabby ugliness) seeing me. Would love to meet up when I am back, I'll text you.

Enjoy Desperate Housewives Mag. I am in bed and in my jim-jams a lot, taking your advice to heart. Hope you are relaxing. You have a HUGE week next week.

Love to all,
Malini xxx


----------



## fluffy jumper

congratulations on the birth of your son Suzie, thanks for coming and sharing your story with us.

Malini, I am sure DH doesn't see 'flabby ugliness' but I know how you feel


----------



## Malini

You're right Tracey, he assures me he doesn't. It is all about me.

Heaps - Welcome home. It doesn't surprise me that Driver and dh are super - that's always been my impression. I was on a estrogen and progesterone combined pessary for all of 2ww and up until loss. I was told it was to ensure the uterus had a supply of estrogen - for what? I think lining.

M xxx


----------



## purple72

Malini hunny     you are so wonderful coming up on to offer support to all the other ladies on here! you are such a phenomenal woman, and DH loves you for that not for some extra cuddliness you have! Enjoy your break both of you! you definately deserve it!

Hey Tracey hunny   

Welcome home Heaps PUPO lady

Laura  

Love to all xxx


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## Kittycat104

Spuds - so sorry.  I know you felt you were expecting it, but I always think we have to hang on to a glimmer of hope until we get that confirmation.  For now, find solace in wine and chocolate.  Small solace, I know, but its better than nothing.

Nicky - hugs to you too.  I hope a private cycle will bring you better care and better luck

Heaps - glad you are home safe and hopefully putting your feet up and relaxing

Malini - your posts are so beautiful.  You have the most amazing way with words.  I really hope you find some peace on your holiday.

Suzie - thanks for sharing your news - you give me hope when it is easy to feel there is none

Laura - I am glad you think Mr Jinks is scrumptious.  He gets a lot of spoiling in the absence of a child.  However, your chippers take the biscuit!  Some great photos and they are unbelievably cute!  Thank you for sharing them.

Siobhan - I think my AF is imminent which means that my cycle this month is much shorter and I am usually regular give or take a day, so it must be the DHEA - is that a good sign, do you think?

LV - I am with you re the DE issue.  Part of me just wants a baby and can't face the potentially repeated stress and disappointment of failed cycles with my OE.  But then a huge part of me wants my own biological child and I can't give up yet on my OE, even if it means more waiting and more pain and in the back of my mind I think 'what if the next cycle was 'the one''. Then I just get frustrated and think 'why me'.  

Jal - thanks for the advice - its amazing that you got such differing responses.  I have asked the Jinny if I should take the pill before my next cycle - not heard back from them yet.  What was your dose of Menopur?

Hugs to Anna, Tracey, Wishy washy (not me that gave up work - if only!), Purple, Driver, Leola and anyone else I have missed.

AFM - another 12 hour day at work.  Still feel like strangling my boss.  He seems blissfully unaware!  Had a bit of a 'woe is me' phase today thinking about how I shouldn't have left having a baby so late and that I was selfish wanting to enjoy my 20s childfree.  Brake light is flashing on car too and they are making ominous grinding noises - more expense - grrr.

Louise x


----------



## Lilly7

Evening all.  

Nicki,  Sorry to read your news.   

Driver, Thanks for asking about the cat.   We still have infighting   and am still looking out for a lovely home for him. Our car is now sorted (yipeee   ) so will PM to see if there's a good time to meet up.  

Laura  , Indeed back to square 1 with the pusskins . Work is still very hectic  . We're all being made redundant and the company we work for want us to consider the option of the same job but on a self employed basis.    All seems rather risky and daunting . . and as I'm the workforce rep, I have to attend all the meetings about the whole thing which is all consuming. Will PM you details of where I live. If your ever up this way would be lovely to meet . . and your always welcome to come and meet the menagerie.  

Malini,  Big hugs for you. I'm glad that Nix helped you to feel better and that you'll be going on well deserved lovely sunny hols..   

Spuds,     I love the let go and let god quote. x

Jal, Well done on 10 eggs!!! 

Wishy, Thank you for sharing. x

Suzie, Thank you also, and congratulations! I love stories like yours. xx

Hi LV, Siobhan, AnnaSB, Tracey, Mag, Heaps, Purple, Louise, and anyone else who's around. x

AFM, AF seems to be on her way and for once I'm hoping that she will stay away at least till Monday when I have a follow up with my consultant to discuss my next cycle. Was hoping to have a scan then to see if cyst has gone and potentially start tx again on day 2.
I'm getting all geared up to try to convince my consultant to do a protocol based on what Jinemed have said they would do . . and if I still have the ovarian cyst to ask him to put me on the pill for a month before hand . . which his colleague previously said they wouldn't do as my "fertility is so very low" and that it would be to much of a struggle to get my ovaries going again afterwards!
Just out of interest has anyone with a very low AFC ( 3 or less) and AMH been put on the bcp before tx at the Lister? I would like to be able to refer to any such cases on Monday.

Otherwise I'm getting increasingly tempted to go for donor eggs sooner rather than later.

Off to drink my chinese herbs now, and then off to bed. 

Night Night.   xxx


----------



## Suzie W

Hi,

Thanks for all the congratulations.
Leola - I was on the cetrotide protocol at the Lister for both cycles. This included being on the OCP and then 450 menopur. I have stage 4 endo and cysts have damaged my ovaries so it was recommended to me that I should go onto the OCP to prevent further cysts forming and damaging my ovaries further. I haven't as yet as I'm concerned about all the hormones (I have several close relatives who have had breast cancer) so I'm considering other means of keeping the endo from growing including diet and various supplements. My initial antral follicle count was something like 5 or 6 (can't quite remember) but during stims there were more follicles, although they didn't really produce many eggs. From my understanding its not that easy to count them and so its quite subjective. Good luck! I hope it goes well with your cons.

Suzie.


----------



## lucky_mum

CONGRATULATIONS 
*Suzie W & DH *

on the birth of

your baby boy

wishing you lots of love, good health and happiness as a family always

xxx Steph xxx

            ​


----------



## lucky_mum

Hi all, sorry have been AWOL, DH's birthday today and so had a busy week!

Spuds - so, so sorry hon  know it was expected but still awful to know for sure that it hasn't worked - sending huge   

Nicki70 - you too - so sorry it didn't work this time - big 

Suzie - Congratulations! and thanks for coming back to share - can you tell us his name?  feel free to join us on the PR Bumps & Babes thread if you get any time! http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=206722

Malini - thanks for sending me the list back and please, please don't apologise  - I really don't mind doing it again and you did fab!  look after yourself sweetie, getting away sounds good    

Jal - well done on 10 eggs  - hope you got great fertilisation and good luck for ET   

Don't know if any of you remember emak, but she got a BFP on her 3rd cycle last week (Lister) from just 3 eggs - well done emak if you are reading!

All - am about to post updated list - please let me know if anything wrong - sorry for no more personals but have only managed to skim read in order to update the list and am bound to have missed stuff 

XXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## lucky_mum

* TEAM PR *   * PR Ladies awaiting next treatment: * * Ali27 * 2nd IVF - Lister - was due to start June 2009 but relationship ended * CathB * contemplating 4th IVF maybe on Short Protocol following new funding, or possibly donor eggs? potential polyp to sort first * Donkey * 5th IVF with LIT, Intralipids/IVIG, steroids, clexane, aspirin - start sniffing 15/03/10/start stimming week commencing 29/03/10 * Jo McMillan * 1st IVF with previous partner cancelled - now on DHEA & TTC naturally with new partner while on list for DE from CRM and the recipient of a free OE cycle at the Lister in 2010 * Lincs Jax * Testing with the Beer centre following 8th IVF - June 2009 - biochemical pregnancy * Mag108 * 2nd IVF cycle due to start soon - flying to Athens for LIT first ??/01/10 - (had natural surprise BFP - August 2009 - just before due to start 2nd IVF cycle - Lister - but levels failed to rise/miscarriage  ) * Nixf01 (Paris Nix) * 8th IVF ARGC with immune tx via Dr Gorgy - March/April 2010 * SJC * currently on pill before round 5 following negative 4th cycle - SP - Lister - February 2008 * Slycett (Kate) * 3rd IVF, this time with DE - Reprofit - booked for 29/03/10 * PR Ladies currently undergoing treatment: * * Jal * 5th ICSI - Lister - February/March 2010 - EC 08/03/10 - 11 follies/10 eggs - ET ??/03/10 * Zuri * 2nd IVF - Switzerland - currently stimming - EC ??/03/10 * Team PR members currently on 2 week wait: * * Heaps * 3rd IVF - February/March 2010 - Jinemed, Turkey - 4 eggs/one embie transferred 06/03/10 - testing ??/03/10 * Team PR members who have experienced a recent miscarriage or loss: * * AnnaofCumberland * 3rd IVF - Gateshead - October 2009 - LP - tested positive 27/11/09 but biochemical  * Beachgirl * 3rd IVF - tested positive 28/04/08 - no heart beat found 02/06/08 at 9w4d - natural miscarriage 21/06/08 at 12 weeks  * Coco Ruby * 1st IVF - Lister - LP - 5 eggs/3 fertilised and transferred - tested positive by blood test 29/08/09 - scan 7 wk 1 days - slow heartbeat, grown only 1mm - followed by miscarriage  * Elinor * 3 more IUIs following 6th IVF - SP - January '09 which was biochemical - then BFP 25 July. Miscarried 3 Sept - lost baby at 10wks +2  * Inconceivable * 1st DE IVF (after 3 IVFs with own eggs) - Reprofit - tested positive 20/08/08 but biochemical  * Jameson777 * 2nd IVF, this time with ICSI - Hammersmith - 2 embies transferred - tested positive 25/08/08 - 12w scan showed heartbeat but sadly miscarried  * Malini * 4th IVF/ICSI - SP - Immunes tested - NK+ in cycle, APAs+ - Sher in LV - January 2010 - 8 eggs/5 mature/4 fertilised - 2 blasts (1 expanding) - tested positive but low HCG levels - hb at 7w scan - no heartbeat at 9w scan - MMC 8w4d  * Minttuw * 5th ICSI, this time with DE - CRM - tested positive 30/07/08 - miscarried 08/09/09  * PamLS * 3rd ICSI - Lister - April 2009 - 8 eggs, 2 embies transferred - tested positive but early miscarriage at 5 weeks  - due to start again January 2010 * Peewee55 * Natural surprise BFP just before starting pill to synchronise for 2nd IVF cycle (this time with DE) - inoperable heart defect identified by tests, termination at 17 weeks, late September 2009  Back to DE - hopefully January 2010, Dogus Cyprus * Pesca * BFP on 3rd DIUI (following 1st ICSI - July/August '08 - one egg - failed fertilisation) miscarried at week 14 on 21/08/09  * Pinkcarys * 2nd IVF - August 2009 - 3 positive tests but each fainter than the last with bleeding. Early miscarriage confirmed by clinic  * Sheldon * Natural surprise BFP in January 2009 but miscarried in February 2009 (following negative 2nd ICSI cycle - LP - Norway - October 200  * Sobroody1 (Anna) * 3rd IVF - February 2010 - flew to Athens for LIT first - 3 eggs/2 fertilised - tested positive 01/03/10 but biochemical  * Swinny * Natural surprise BFP 14/08/09 - mmc 27/08/09 (following 3rd full cycle ICSI - June '09 - 2 eggs/2 embies - tested negative 03/07/09)  Immunes tests showed v. high NK Cells and v. low LAD results so will need IVIG and LIT before trying again - now considering tandem OE/DE cycle at Jinemed/Dogus * Tracymohair * 3rd IVF/ICSI, this time with DE - July 2009 - tested positive 28/07/09 - first scan 18/08/09 - no heartbeat/collapsing sac seen  * Team PR members currently recovering from a negative or cancelled treatment cycle: * * AbbyCarter * 4th IVF - August 2008 - tested negative  * Alegria * 4th IVF - Feb/Mar '09 @ Jinemed, IVF (SP) - no eggs at EC, ovulated too early!? Still had an IUI on same day as a back-up but tested negative  * Ally1973 * 3rd IVF - SP - Lister - September 2009 - cancelled due to no response  now hoping for a natural miracle now (with immunes tx?) * Almond * 2nd IVF - microdose flare - EC 10/08/09 - 7 eggs - zero fertilisation  * Angel555 * 5th IVF - January 2010 - tested negative  * Anne G * 2nd IVF - Jinemed - April '09 - EC 16/04/09 - 1 egg - failed fertilisation  no more TX now with own eggs - DE only option- hopefully April/May 2010 * Bankie * 5th IVF - Lister - full immune treatment - November 2009 - tested negative  * BDP (Becca - Ally's sister) * 2nd IVF - April '09 - cancelled due to no response * Bobbi3 * 1st IVF - SP - Hammersmith - EC 12/12/08 - 1 egg - abnormal fertilisation  - now awaiting IUI December 2009? * Bunjy * 4th IVF - Lister - July 2009 - tested negative  * ClaireP * 6th ICSI - Ceram Marbella - March 09 - tested negative  * Dimsum * 4th ICSI - HMC, Qatar - April 2009 - tested negative 23/05/09  * Driver 225 * 2nd ICSI - SP - St. James - August/September 2009 - 1 embie transferred - tested negative 28/10/09  * Emmachoc * Second FET following 2nd IVF cycle (1st FET produced son - Hari) - June '09 - tested negative 06/07/09  * Fishface * 2nd ICSI - tested negative 21/12/08  * Jan27 (Cheryl) * 2nd ICSI at Lister - Feb '08 - cancelled due to no response  * Jerseyspuds * 2nd IVF - with OE - March/April '10 - tested negative 10/03/10  * Jnr * 4th IVF - October 2009 - tested negative  * Kazzie40 * 3rd IVF - Jinemed - May 2009 - 1 egg/1 embie - tested negative  Immunes tested by Dr.Gorgy 08/09: High NK Cells, TNF and MTHFR pos so need Pred, 5mg FA, Clexane, BA, Cyclogest, Intralipids, Humira & IVIg * Ladyverte * 4th IVF/ICSI - Jinemed, Turkey - "Cetrotide before menses" protocol - June 2009 - 2 eggs/1 fertilised - tested negative 18/07/09  * Latestarter * 5th ICSI, this time tandem cycle with donor eggs - Jinemed/Dogus Cyprus - August 2009 - 1 OE embryo/3 donor egg embryos (+ 4 frosties) - tested negative  - FET (November 09) BFN -  * Leola7 * 2nd IVF/ICSI - February 2010 - cancelled due to low AFC  * Lilacbunnikins * 1st IVF - Barts - June '08 - cancelled due to poor response  * Lins1982 * Diagnosed with POF - 1st IVF Jinemed, Turkey - September '08 - cancelled due to no response  * Littleareca * 4th ICSI - October 2009 - tested negative 18/11/09  * Little M * 5th ICSI - February 2009 - Lister - 2 eggs - failed fertilisation  * Louises104 * 2nd IVF - poor response/converted to IUI - tested negative 18/02/10  * Merse1 * FET - 13/03/08 - tested negative  scheduled to have endo op 13/06/08 * Moth * 1st ICSI - tested negative September '08  * Natasha15 * 3rd IVF - 2 embies transferred - tested negative 22/10/08  Moved to ARGC - immune issues diagnosed * Nicki70 * 3rd ICSI - LP - February/March '10 - tested negative 10/03/10  * Nova * 3rd IVF (1st cycle cancelled as no response/2nd cycle no fertilisation) - Nurture - August '08 - cancelled due to poor response  now considering adoption * Pixie75 * 2nd ICSI - Jinemed - May 2009 - microflare protocol - 2 eggs/1 embie transferred - tested negative  * Rachel (Moderator) * Fresh treatment cycle at Ceram in April 2009 - tested negative 16/05/09  * Rose39 * 4th ICSI - September 2009 - tested negative  hoping to fit in another tx before Christmas * Rupee100 * 3rd IVF/2nd with ICSI - Hammersmith - September '09 - cancelled due to runaway follicle  * Saffa77 * 2nd cycle - IVF - SP - EC 20/04/09 - no eggs collected, endometrioma found on only ovary  Immune tests - will be on Intralipid, Prednisalone, clexane, gestone, folic acid & aspirin for next cycle in Jan/Feb 2010 * Sammeee * 3rd IVF - SP - EC 26/1/10 - 4 eggs/4 fertilised - 2 transferred - tested negative 08/02/10  * Shelly38 * 4th IVF (this time with ICSI, 2nd full DE cycle) - Reprofit - August 2009 - 2 blasts transferred - tested negative  - now investigating immunes tx * Siheilwli * 4th cycle - ICSI - tested negative 17/10/08  - FET January 2010 following Humira * Sweetpea74 * 2nd IVF for surrogacy, this time with cousin - 4 eggs - 3 embies fertilised - cousin's ET of 1 remaining embie 25/09/09 - tested negative 09/10/09  * Swinz (SarahSwin) * 2nd IVF - SP - December 2008 - 2 eggs collected - failed/abnormal fertilisation  Currently looking at trying Clomid (which responded well to before) and Menopur mix IVF before moving onto ED in Europe * TracyM * 1st Donor Embryo cycle - Reprofit - March 2009 (following 3rd DIVF - July/August 2008 - tested negative) tested negative  * Tropifruiti * 3rd ICSI - SP - January 2010 - 2 eggs - 1 fertilised/transferred - tested negative  * Veda * 3rd IVF, this time with ICSI - Royal Infirmary, Edinburgh - EC 28/01/10 - 14 eggs/8 suitable for ICSI/3 fertilised - tested negative  * Vonnie15 * 3rd IVF - Royal Infirmary, Edinburgh - tested negative  * PR Ladies who have decided to stop treatment/move on: * * Francie * Good Luck    * Lollipop (Gabrielle) * Good Luck    * PR Ladies undergoing Adoption process: * *[br]Linziloo * Approved as adopter -  - now awaiting matching - Good Luck    * Rachel78 * Focusing on adoption following 3rd IVF - SP - February '09 - 3 eggs, 1 fertilised - tested positive but, early miscarriage at 5 weeks  - Good Luck    * Sonia7 * Enquired about Adoption - 27th April 2009 (following 4th IVF/ICSI - Midland Fertility Clinic - 6 eggs, 3 fertilised - 2 heartbeats found at 6 week scan, but not there at 8 week scan  ) - Good Luck    * Wing Wing * Awaiting adoption home visit - Luxembourg - Spring 2010 (following 3rd IVF - Luxembourg - September 2009 - one poor quality egg so no attempt made to fertilise  ) - Good Luck    * PR Ladies with bumps*   * Babyspoons/Spoony *  on 2nd ICSI - June '09 - 11 eggs/5 embies - tested positive 20/07/09 - due ??/??/10 * Bonchance *  on 3rd IVF, this time with DE - June 2009 - due ??/??/10 * Boppet *  on 1st ICSI - Lister - July 2009 - 13 eggs (so technically not a PR in spite of lots of doom/gloom from previous doc, who gave donor egg speech!) - due ??/??/10 * Bugle * 3rd ICSI - Jinemed - to try for sibling for Benjamin - August 2009 - tested positive 24/08/09 - due ??/??/10 * Carole69 *  on 6th(?) ICSI, (2nd(?) with DE) - November 2009 - tested positive 12/11/09 - first scan ??/??/09 * Cath J *  natural surprise! - April 2009 - following miscarried natural pg immediately after failed fertilisation on 4th IVF January 2009 - due 09/12/09 * Elsbelle *  on 3rd IVF (2nd using DE) - Serum, Athens - ET 7th July - twin girls! - due ??/??/09 * Emak * 3rd IVF - Lister - LP -  Jan/Feb 20010 - 3 eggs collected/2 fertilised & transferred - first scan ??/??/10 * Hayleigh *  on 3rd ICSI - February 2009 - assisted hatching - tested positive 29/03/09 - due December 2009 * Hazelnut *  natural surprise! - April 2009 - while awaiting 1st IVF, after FSH of 38/AMH 0.71 - due December 2009 * HunyB *  on 1st ICSI - LP - Leeds - September 2009 - 4 eggs/2 fertilised - 2 transferred - first scan ??/??/09 * Jeza * 3rd IVF - tested positive June 2009 - due ??/??/10 * Lightweight *  on 3rd ICSI (this time tandem cycle OE/DE- September 2009 - Jinemed/Dogus - 3 embies transferred - 10 frosties) - first scan ??/??/09 * MillyFlower *  on 4th IVF cycle - tested 01/08/09 - one ectopic but other in uterus survived - due ??/??/10 * PaulB & his DW Jennig *  - natural surprise! due ??/05/10 - also has  Caitlin Mary - born New Year's Day 2009 - surprise natural BFP April '08 after failed fertilisation on 2nd ICSI in Feb '08 * Purple72 *  - natural surprise! tested positive 01/01/10 (following 4th IVF - Lister - June '09 - 5 eggs/2 embies transferred - BFN) - next scan 09/02/10 * Rural Chick (& DH Rural Hick!) *  on 2nd IVF tandem OE/DE cycle at the Jinemed/Dogus - October 2009 - 3 blasts transferred (+ 3 frosties) - 1 heartbeat detected - due 06/07/10 * Silverglitter *  on 4th ICSI - April '09 - twin boys! - c-section booked for 04/01/10 * WishyWashy *  - natural surprise! (following 2nd IVF converted to IUI - BFN 27/12/09) - first scan ??/??/10 * PR Ladies with babies *   *
Abdncarol *  Eva Florence Jane - born September 30th 2009 after 2nd IVF *
Ali May *  Luke Benjamin - born 30/06/09 - after 2nd IVF *
Beans33 *  Stuart - born May 3rd 2008 - after 2nd IVF/ICSI - SP - July 2008 *
Be Lucky (Bernie) *  born October 2009 after natural surprise BFP! February 2009 (had been booked for DE at Reprofit April 2009 after 3 failed IVF/ICSIs) *
Bugle *  Benjamin Oliver - born November 26th 2008 - after 2nd ICSI at Jinemed *
Button76 *  Isla Sian and  Alex Sam - born March 2nd 2009 - after 1st IVF - UCH *
Droogie (Heather) *  Cole Dodds - born August 11th 2009 - after 2nd ICSI after TESA/TESE - Nurture Notts *
SpecialK *  Neve and  Olivia born October 23rd 2009 after 2nd ICSI *
TwiceBlessed (Previously EBW1969) *  Kate - born January 14th 2008 after 4th ICSI *
TwiceBlessed (Previously EBW1969) *  Emily Joan Louise - born June 22nd 2009 after BFP naturally! - November 2008 *
Emmachoc *  Hari - born October 4th 2008 - after FET following 2nd IVF cycle *
Jojotall *  Danny  Sophie born June 1st 2009 after 2nd IVF - Lister - LP *
Juicy *  Edward - born May 9th 2009 - after 3rd IVF - Lister *
Kitykat *  Rosie - born July 27th after 4th IVF - SP + immune tx - ARGC *
Lainey-Lou *  Louisa Kate and  Cecily May born September 17th 2009 after 5th IVF - this time with DE - London/Cyprus *
Laurab *  Eddy Noah,  Cerys Mary and  Bethan Lilian Doris born December 16th 2008 
(triplets 33+1, all healthy  ) after 4th cycle, this time with ICSI - Jinemed *
LittleJenny *  Montgomery Mylor John Beames born January 7th 2010 after natural surprise BFP May 2009 - after miscarriage April 2009 (1st cycle in 2008 to retrieve eggs for freezing/future use retrieved 7 eggs, with 4 being quality enough for freezing) *
LittleJenny's sister, Kate *  Emily Megan and  Oliver William born November 20th 2008 after 1st IVF *
Matchbox *  Luca - born February 11th 2009 - after 1st IVF June 2008 - LP - LWH *
Miranda7 *  Robert - born June 26th 2008 - after 3rd ICSI at Jinemed *
Missyg *  Sonny - born December 16th 2009 - after surprise natural BFP (on cycle after 1st IVF - Lister - EC 17/02/09 - no eggs collected) - immunes with Dr Gorgy *
Nikki2008 *  Alexander - born February 18th 2010 after 5th ICSI - this time with donor sperm & polar body biopsy & immune tx with Dr Gorgy - IM (4th ICSI - BFP - baby boy born too early at 20w - so sorry  ) *
Nicky W *  Emily Alice - born May 23rd 2008 after surprise natural BFP while d/regging for 4th IVF *
Nicky W *  Sophie Elizabeth - born January 22nd 2009 after BFP naturally! *
Odette *  Jack born 25th April 2009 after 1st DE IVF (after 3 IVFs with OE) - July 2008 - Barcelona IVI - 8 frosties *
Ophelia *  Izzy Francis Fox born August 10th 2009 - after 9th ICSI - Sweden *
PaulB & his DW Jennig *  Caitlin Mary - born New Year's Day 2009 - surprise natural BFP April '08 after failed fertilisation on 2nd ICSI in Feb '08 *
Paw *  Tilly and  Scout born at 31 weeks following 3rd IVF (was triplets but one m/c) - November 2008 *
Pin *  Olivia Jane - born November 30th 2007 after 1st IVF *
Pin *  Niall Francis - born September 16th 2009 after a natural surprise BFP! *
Popsi *  name TBC - approved as adopter 07/07/09 -  - met her forever baby 03/02/10 *
Roozie *  Emma,  Lucy and  Jake born January 29th 2008 
(triplets 32+6, all healthy  ) after 1st GIFT at UCH *
Sam22 *  name TBC born February 12th 2010, after natural surprise in June 2009! (after 1st IVF April '09 - Lister - was cancelled after no response, and having had no period for several months) immune tx with Dr Gorgy *
Snic *  Jemima born August 4th 2009 after 4th ICSI November 2008 - SP - 9 follies, 9 eggs, 2x8 cell embies, 3 frosties! *
Stephjoy *  Vivienne Laura Joy born June 23rd 2009 - after 1st DE ICSI (following 4 ICSIs/2 cancelled ICSIs/1 Natural IVF/ICSI with OE) - Reprofit - 1 frostie *
Suzie W *  name TBC born February 2010 - after 2nd IVF - 4 eggs/4 fertilised - 1 blastocyst/1 morula transferred *
When Will It Happen? *  name TBC born March 21st 2009 - after 1st ICSI


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## purple72

Just a quickie to say PamLS who used to post on this board is currently stimming again at the Lister and has 10 follicles!!!!! Yes I did say 10!!! WOOOHOOOO pam xxxxxx

Morning ladies

Jal any fertilisation rates

Hugs to all xxxxx


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## mag108

stephjoy: thanks for updating that very long list!


Congrats to Suzie: What a fab story and result, many congrats on your new baby.


(Donkey you and I will be cycling at pretty much the same time)

x


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## Jal

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh just lost a really long post as my wireless crashed   

so here goes again.

Just had the call, I was due to go in at 12:00 today for ET as we had 6/10 fertilise. We now have (day 3) 1 x 9cell grade 1, 1x8cell grade 1, 1x8cell grade 2, 1x6cell grade 1-2, 2x3cell grade 2, based on those the embryologist said she couldn't pick the best 2 (seems like there are 2 good uns to me) so we are going to blasts. V nervous as last time we only had 1 that survived and was a slow blast that ended up going back on day 6 but guess I should go with their recommendation. So if all works out ET wil lnow be Sat at 10:40.

Louise - I was on 450menopur and 0.25 cetrotide from day 6.

Leola - my AMH was 5.9 July 09 and they put me on the OCP and I produced over double the amount of eggs than I had on SP without OCP.

Heaps   

Hi to all  , ran out of steam 2nd time round of writing!

Off to keep busy as going  already and not even on 2ww yet, think I ay sort my wardrobe and be brutal and send my skinny clothes off to charity as I can't ever see myself losing the 1.5st I have put on since tx started.

Now I'm going to copy before I hit post!!

J x


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## Malini

Congrats Jal. I do believe in blasts for lots of reasons and think you and embryologist have made the right decision (know it is a white knuckle journey). Enjoy wardrobe sorting but don't toss out anything you really love. Life has twists, we can't yet imagine.

Malini xxx


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## SiobhanG

Stephjoy – thanks for posting the list. It’s really useful for all us newbies. And also how uplifting reading the list of all the ladies with bumps and babies.

Louise 10 – I did the cetrotide protocol with the Lister in December and I was on the BCP beforehand. However I think I stayed on the BCP for too long, approx 3-4 months as I was trying to sort out a thyroid issue. There are a lot of conflicting ideas about BCP – as some consultants believe that it can suppress your ovaries too much, but when I mentioned this to the Lister (I only got 3 follicles and one egg) they said it was not over suppression caused by BCP. However I will add that when I had my first baseline scan the nurse said she saw lots of follicles – but I then had to postpone treatment – at my next scan she could see no follicles(?!) - not sure what happened. I felt it was the BCP, but perhaps my ovaries had just worsened as I have just had another antral follicle count and there were just 4. I have read that the BCP is to prevent cysts and also to “time” things better. Not sure if this is helpful to you. I am going to be trying the Letrazole protocol at Jinemed in April. At that point I will aslo have been on DHEA for 4 months so hoping that will help.

Leola 7 – Glad you mentioned about your cycle shortening. I had a response from Mrs Janet Evns (IVF Wales) but she didn’t really answer the question, ie should we stop taking it if our cycles are affected. I’ve emailed her again but if I don’t get  response I may email Centre for Human Reproduction NY and see if they have got any advice they can give all us self-medicators!
I too, have been harbouring a secret hope that the fact my cycle is going a bit funny means the DHEA is working. Can I ask if you have been having any extra discharge? (sorry to be so graphic) If I get anymore info I will post here.


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## H&amp;P

Afternoon from Dublin (again....yawnnnn really bored of the M62 this week)

Jal  - that is fantastic news, hope you get a good few blasts to choose from and maybe a frostie or 2    

Heaps -  , thank you, thank you, was really lovely to meet you, DH and your Mum, I think it is really good that the DH's get to meet sometimes as otherwise they think we are a bit mad with our internet friends. Look forward to meeting up for a coffee soon, my next planned visit over your way is 13th April (TX dependant)and would be free for a coffee  any time after 4:30pm (or herbal tea for you as you will be PG by then    )

Siobhan - my discharge has gone the other way on DHEA none at all and AF hasn't arrived yet either......

Steph - Thanks for the list, next time you update please can you move me up to the waiting to start treament section, should be going to Dogus for tandem some time in April if AF ever arrives  

Suzie - Congrats on your new arrival and thank you for coming back to tell us you news  

Zuri - How are you doing?    

Jersey/Nicki - hope you both had some cuddles from your DH's last night and are looking after yourselves.

Malini -   where are you going for your break? Thanks for you lovely comment, hope to be able to give you some 3d cuddles one day soon  

Leola - yey to fixed car, let me know when you are free, I am free most evenings after work (not 18th/19th March)

Love to all gotta scoot back into my meeting now  Excited cos we are picking up our new (to us not new new) car this weekend (as long as DH can sort out his car insurance in time)


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## lucky_mum

Just a quickie and sorry if this muddies any waters but just wanted to say - re BCP before cycling - on my first cycle at the Jinemed (5th cycle with OE) I used the BCP before we went out, to synchronise cycles (which in hindsight I needn't have done, as never had cyst problems and periods were regular as clockwork) and my ovaries were over-suppressed and produced NO follies at all (first time ever) and my FSH when tested was 20ish - which was a shock as the two months when tested for monitoring, it had gone down to 7-8ish after 3-4 months of DHEA. 

Not sure how accurate the FSH test could have been given that I'd been on BCP  and the docs said this was very unusual as the BCP should "rest" the ovaries not shut them down, but did a little research after (with help of lovely NickyW) and what happened to me does happen rarely, to some people. I was unlucky enough to be one of those people - lesson learnt.

Just thought you should know - obviously it was very upsetting to have to cancel a cycle once already abroad - we are all very different and what works for one person may not for another, as we all know - maybe BCP should only be used if cysts need treating, as it seems to work very well for this. On subsequent cycles at Jinemed I didn't use BCP as I started the cycles in London to make sure there would be follies before travelling, so it wasn't a problem again.

Good luck all!


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## wishingforanangel

Malini said:


> Wishing- I don't know where you've been and that is an awful experience. I cycled in Las Vegas and with SIRM. I don't rate the ethics of the British fertility community either though. There is so much in-fighting about immunes and private clinics as well as NHS clinics refusing to cycle women with high FSH/low AMH because their precious stats might be hurt by them. The Lister has rave reviews on here but I wouldn't go there after a miserable experience. The chap that heads the unit seems very nice but he no longer speaks to the chap who heads up the ARGC which means less joined up thinking and poorer care. It is a mess. Having said that SIRM treated me well and have continued to during my MMC. I wish I lived in the North America, but I would say that as I am Cdn and would love to leave Britain - total bias accepted!
> 
> Good luck to you,
> Malini x


I'm here in Southern California. Thinking that the doctors here may have gotten too much sunshine or smoking to many illegal drugs or something which is why I think they lost it...I suppose Lister may be out then because I don't really want to deal with insanity. Fertility treatments is hard enough with doctors who can't work together. Ummm on SIRM of Las Vegas. The Clinic seems to have opened a clinic close to where I am....Thanks for the mention on the Clinic.

Laughing out loud on you wanting to move to North America, Malini...Funny thing is I wanted to move to Britian because I hate living here in the States. Always thought for some reason that you Brits were calmer, friendlier, and more polite then us cranky Americans. Course Canada sounds lovely too because in many ways the people seem like you Brits but the food is more American style (British food is not to appealing to me).

JerseySpuds & Niki70 - I am sorry things didn't work out for either of you...  

dimsum - thanks for the info on your epp cycle...it seems like it is not the best cycle to use. sigh.

i just don't know what to do...my heart is telling I want my baby and my head is telling me the best chances are to go with embryo donation but a part of me for some reason all of a sudden is preventing me from going that route. Not sure if this is normal...


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## H&amp;P

[quote author=wishingforanangel dimsum] - thanks for the info on your epp cycle...it seems like it is not the best cycle to use. sigh. 
[/quote]

WFAM - I think the one thing I have gleamed from all the time spent on the forums over the last year or so is that there is not a "best cycle" for everyone, unfortunately there is a lot of trial and error until you find the right protocol for you, what works really well for one person may prove to be a disaster for someone else. 

PS I love California


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## Malini

There is NO normal in any of this Wishing. It is private, personal and painful though. Don't rule out the Lister because of me. I was just relating to your story about odd IF docs and the madness of trying to find consistent and helpful clinicians in this battle. There are so many unknowns and egos and individual responses that finding what is right for you is difficult. What works for one may not for another and vice versa.

On that point, I was on the ocp/bcp for 6 weeks prior to my SIRM cycle and produced exactly the same number of eggs as my cycle in August which was SP with no DR of any description. Much better fert rate at SIRM. Go figure.

Driver - am off to Lankawi, Malaysia and booked through a contact of our Nix and she has been the most fab travel agent I have ever encountered.  It is good to know people.

Malini xxx


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## Malini

Hehe Driver, like minds and all that. Fly home safely. X


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## H&amp;P

Malini said:


> Hehe Driver, like minds and all that. Fly home safely. X


it's amazing how many times I type a post on here and click send to find someone has already posted exactly what I was saying , staying over in Dublin tonight, out for dinner with 6 sales blokes  then fly back at 9:30 in the morning then into the office from there. Roll on the weekend. Oooh Langkawi sounds lovely, just what you need. Are you back up North this weekend?


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## Malini

Yes, I agree! I am back home on Sunday after a day at Crufts campaigning for my second dog. That's mean of me to say to you when I know you want one. I have been told that I can look but not have! Enjoy your entourage of men tonight. xxx


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## H&amp;P

Malini - oooh Crufts, DH wouldn't let me in the door as he knows he wouldn't get me out. We went shopping at the weekend and while he was putting the food shopping in the car I was waiting as we had some more bits to get and just happened to see some people collecting for Guide dogs and they had the most gorgeous golden retriever puppy, when DH returned I was sat on the floor with the puppy climbing all over me  , I even volunteered last week at our local dog shelter to be a dog walker and was told they didn't need any   Have a fab time


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## Malini

That's just cruel. There will be a puppy for you one day, promise. In the meantime, I will get my Chow to you somehow and he will let you rub his belly. It is all about him I am afraid. X


----------



## Ourturn

My journey home will be a mare thanks to crufts 

That said I would love to go. Seriously thinking about getting a second puppy (sorry driver). Now thinking a yellow labradoodle would be a good match for our black lab, but less chewy and malty! 

BCP did not work for me, see second cyle on my signature, total distater!

Malini - can I sneak in your suitcase pleeease? I LOVE Langakawi! Spent 5 nights there as part of our honeymoon. Where are you staying? People cannot do enough for you, its so beautiful, food is great and wildlife is amazing. The black monkeys with white circles around their eyes where my faves. We even saw a flying monkey at night!


----------



## Swinny

Bl**dy typical i have just spent ages typing a lovely long post only for my pc to shut itself down  

Anyhow shortened version...hello girlies hope you are all doing ok especially Mal & SB   

Driver - Has AF arrived yet hun?? xx

Mal- Your holiday sounds fab and exactly what you need. Have a wonderful time chicky  

Mag108 - It's rubbish that you have to have a 3rd trip to Athens   but on a   note we now get to go together so we can treat it as a girly mini break and have a bit of fun while we're there  

Heaps - How you feeling?   

Steph - How's Vivvy? Where is the time going, i just looked at your ticker! Update for the list for next time - I am starting tandem cycle at Dogus in May and all of the immunes to go with this tx in a week or so   

As for me well the flaming sore booby syndrome is back again with a vengeance. God only knows what's going on with me. I even went to see a specialist at Bupa and had the mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy but nothing sinister just mastitis thank goodness. I would love to know what's causing it to re-occur. This will now be my 3rd lot of antibiotics. Need it to go away as i start my LIT treatment a week on Tuesday.

Mal & SB & Driver - I'd love a doogie but Paul won't even entertain the idea!! I actually bought my two kitty's without telling him and just brought them home so that he couldn't say no to me


----------



## H&amp;P

Swinny said:


> I actually bought my two kitty's without telling him and just brought them home so that he couldn't say no to me


might have to try that one myself  , no AF, she's only gone missing just when I actually want her to arrive......not actually "late" on day 26 today but last month was 22 and this month I haven't ovulated according to the CBFM, so no idea when she is due to rear her ugly head


----------



## Swinny

Driver - This may sound mental   but my friend has always sworn by jumping up and down a lot to try and bring AF on. Maybe worth a shot


----------



## SiobhanG

Doh! - I just lost a long post as well.

Just wanted to say I was put on the BCP before my last tx at Lister, however I stayed on it for about 3 months while sorting out a thyroid issue (with breaks) and I think I was over suppressed. Docs however told me this couldn't have been the case - although from trawling the net, I found that some docs do believe it happens. Most clinics put you on BCP to prevent cysts and also to get everybody timed the same way. I would be reluctant to take it again. 

Driver - I've only had the discharge in the last week, AF is not due until Sunday, but I have spent the last week thinking it'll arrive any second due to the AF pains I have been getting - have you been experiencing anything similar? If I can glean any DHEA info form anywhere I will post. And for any of those interested I posted some research regarding DHEA/Miscarraige on the research thread. It was only just published in Sept 09.

I would like to add the following it may be useful to you. During my last tx, when I had my scan at the end of two weeks I had three follicles - 19mm,20mm, 21mm and one small one about 9mm. However the nurse told me to carry on with the Menopur for two days. At collection I only had one egg. I was told the follicles were empty (which of course may be the case considering I am a "poor responder") but my E2 levels were around 5000, so would have thought the follicles contained eggs!?? Anyway, after my BFN, I asked my consultant why they had insisted on carry on with the Menopur when my follicles were at a perfect size already - he couldn't give me a straight answer and suggested they may have been trying to increase the small one. (Also they want everybody to go for ET on same day) However from what I understand eggs can go from mature to over mature very quickly for older ladies (I am 3. I wish I had not carried on with the menopur, because even though I may have ended up with the same result, I wouldn't be thinking so many what ifs. I suppose my point is, where possible take control of your own treatment as much as you can (of course without jeopardising the tx) as most clinics protocols are pretty standard and not very tailored to the individual - and as we know, we are not all the same.


----------



## SiobhanG

Another quick one Driver - I have found before, that sex can sometimes bring my AF on a bit early.... although might be last thing you feel like...


----------



## purple72

try orgasms ladies    with or without sex   If AF is about to start can often bring them on


----------



## H&amp;P

SiobhanG said:


> Another quick one Driver - I have found before, that sex can sometimes bring my AF on a bit early.... although might be last thing you feel like...
> 
> 
> purple72 said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> try orgasms ladies   with or without sex   If AF is about to start can often bring them on
Click to expand...

I'm in Dublin with 6 work colleagues are you 2 sure you want me to try those things   



Swinny said:


> Driver - This may sound mental  but my friend has always sworn by jumping up and down a lot to try and bring AF on. Maybe worth a shot


will give that a try and wait for the person in the room below to start complaining  

Right really must get ready to go out for dinner, it's the last thing I feel like doing, just want to curl up on the luscious bed in my room and choose a pillow off their "pillow menu"


----------



## purple72

I'm in Dublin with 6 work colleagues are you 2 sure you want me to try those things   

Right really must get ready to go out for dinner, it's the last thing I feel like doing, just want to curl up on the luscious bed in my room and choose a pillow off their "pillow menu" 
[/quote]

Maybe not with the 2 colleagues but the luscious bed and a nice pillow sounds perfect for some alone time

OK OK gonna stop now it's obviously the hormones ( I can blame them for everything now  )

Purps x


----------



## purple72

Hello Ladies,

I'm feeling a bit freaked out tonight. Non IF issue.

My Dad has 2 brain aneurisms about 8 years ago and ever since has suffered from a condition called sudden artistic output. which for the uninitiated he paints draws and makes art constantly sometimes 24 hours a day! anyway he's had quite a lot of interest from both the scientific community and the media, several documenatry's lots of local press,radio interviews, he now has his own gallery etc etc. Well Today he was in the daily's (the sun & the mail) and tomorrow morning apparently bbc breakfast are going to interview him and Monday channel 5. This just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I'm pleased for him in lots of ways but before the brain injury he was actually not the nicest of people, and it would be the understatement of the year if I said I didn't have an idyllic childhood. However he thinks it's fine to mention his past and the media tend to enjoy this aspect of bad boy turned good, ex crim ex druggie etc etc I just find it incredible uncomfortable and unsettling. Also although it seems he tells all about his past the really bad stuff he obviously doesn't mention. Yet because of what heappened in the past lots of people do know about how bad he's been and everytime he puts himself out there he doesn't only risk his skeletons coming out of the closet but I also feel he is risking dragging up a traumatic past that I really do not need to relive.

Last time he was on the TV and the local papers I have a possible half brother turn up?!?! WHo he met and told him he was his dad yet told me and my brother(full) that he wasn't sure which sort of left me in limbo with this possible brother who believes I'm his sister yet my dad says until a dna test he's not sure! 

Geeesh sounds like a Jerry springer program doesn't it!!!!    

I'm not expecting any advice from you ladies, and in the past on many occasions both me and me and DH have spoken to him about how uncomfortable this all makes me. He cries (his emotions are very sensitive since his aneurisms) says he understands then conveniently forgets what we've talked about within a matter of days( another CONVENIENT aspect of his injury is brain damage affecting his memory - although funnily enough he always remembers the things that put him in a good light)

I think I just needed to offload and you ladies make me feel safe to do that

Thanks for listening xxxx


----------



## mag108

Purps: thats so understandable. Its an invasion of your privacy really. So I imagine it is very uncomfortable for you! Does he get that at all X


----------



## popsi

purps.. sending you huge    darling... it must be so difficult for you especially now xx

sending so much love to everyone else.. i am so so sorry i feel so     as i cant post the way i know i should, things are so busy at the moment with our princess and DH been afternoons so not had a minute.. will try to be a proper PR FF soon i promise xxxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Back in my hotel room and wanted to pop on and say good night to you all.

Purps -   that must be so difficult to deal with, I have no idea how I would deal with something like that so think you are doing amazingly well  

Heaps - emailed Anne to ask the same just this afternoon, she is OK just having a little FF break but is apparently chatting on the Shortie ** page (that I can't get on on my work laptop which is where I do most of my internetting from  ) Hope your smiling on the way home from work is a good sign that everything is going well    

Popsi - stop apologising, post as much or as little as you are able, I hope you have a fantastic day on Sunday 

Night night all, sleep tight, hope the bed bugs don't bite.


----------



## beachgirl

Purps    big hugs sweetie, we're all here for you x


----------



## Malini

EeK, Purps that's tough. Vent here and with dh because I don't want any toxic emotions locked up in you. I do hope it passes quickly and there are no unpleasant surprises. Oh for a simple life.

ASB - I'd love to take you. We're staying at the Datai. And I am so excited about the monkeys, warm air and hopefully finding my smile again. Thanks for contributing to my enjoyable anticipation.

Driver - Sounds like we're encouraging you to make this business trip a whole lot more kinky than a 'pillow menu'! Have you seen the film 'Up in the Air'? If you're anything like me getting home to dh is all I want to do while I am away and then 5 mins in the door and I am annoyed because he's not kept our place to my OCD standards!!

Heaps - Nothing wrong with denial!! And especially if it means you're feeling good in yourself. Wishing, wishing ...

Zuri - How's stims?

Mir - You've disappeared ... Is the commute to work chewing up all your time?

Shortie - Getting butterflies for you!

Mag and Swinny - So pleased you'll be in Athens together. So much less than pleased about your pain Sarah. I love your cat negotiation skills!!

There's always more!!! But I must get out of bed and face this day.
Malini xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Purps      totally understandable hun, sounds like a very tough character to deal with. I totally get it as I have a very complex realtationship with my mother, who was (to put it frankly) a really awful mother when I was little.    

Laura - you did really well to get that far with chiplets! They all looked a good size too! 

Malini - we stayed next door at the Andaman. The Datai is the better choice at this stage as if memory serves me right its a no kids place. There are a million steps to get down to the beach though, will keep you fit! You may want to hire a car for a day and explore the island. If you do take some food for the monkeys. Families of monkeys stay close to the road with their super cute babies to reel in the tourists and get fed! (The black monkeys you have to look out for in the trees they are much more shy) 
The thai/malay restarant inbetween the two hotels was our favourite. You can book to have a private dinning experience. You have your own menu, your own waiter, several courses, surounded by lit tourches on the beach as the sunsets....highly recommend it. The japanese restaurant at the andaman did the best beef I have ever tasted...kobe (I think) they massage the cows and feed the beer! 
I'm sure you will find it a healling place, it truely is magical


----------



## Malini

Ah thanks for that ASB. We're only there for 7 days so unsure how much we'll do but have made a note of all your suggestions. Am half-Hindu so mostly steer clear of beef but we had Kobe in Japan and it was a rare treat. Our villa has a private pool which we decided was necessary as I am bruised, showing and have put on a huge steroid driven amount of weight. I have never been so heavy and I refuse to buy a whole lot of new clothing, no honest truth is I can't afford to, so it will be naked me next to my own pool I think!! Dh will probably devise a running regime that involves those steps and a monkey. He gets bored after a few minutes of lounging. Why am I so naturally lazy?!

I went to Malaysia over ten years ago and loved it but never thought I'd be returning so many years later without a family. All the people I travelled with at the time have multiple kids. It does feel like life has sped by me while I got stuck in the quicksand!

Sigh. Enjoy your day at home today Anna.

M xxx


----------



## Miranda7

Purps - I think you have to separate your feelings about your dad from the ones about his newfound fame, and certainly keep him at arm's length, because right now you need to concentrate on you.

It'll be easier when your baby arrives - your feelings will naturally move on.

I saw that piece in the Mail! Fancy that being your pa.

Mal - how are you doing chuck? Yes, I'm a bit under the cosh with working. The news editor went off sick my second week and I found myself having to be news editor! Argh! I think it went well... I'll know when I go back in I guess.

I'd better scoot - we have a viewing at half nine. Better make the place look as if no one lives here!


----------



## Malini

Good luck with the viewing Mir. Gosh, news editor - sounds impressive - but also stressful. You take care. Has your LO coped with less mum-time ok? I eat a lot of cake, randomly cry but mostly just feel flat and heartsick. It is not as bad as the dark time after I learned I was infertile. Ta for asking.
M xxx


----------



## Little Me

hello all  

I am sorry but have on ** mroe than FF recently but I wanted to say hello and give some     and   

Mal & Anna- been thinking about you both   

Morning Mira  

Purps-    

Had an email this week ladies with a possible donor, she seems ideal but of aparantly as I replied to the clinic to say is she the only possible match or were there others, they have taken that as me asking for a different donor so now they are searching again!!........finding it a bit stressful as you can't speak words and of course the language barrier.
Oh well, feels quite real now   

Sorry again I've not been here all week
xxxxxxxxx


----------



## laurab

Mal -   I've not hd a chance to read back.... have you booked somewhere nice and hot yet?  Think I saw Malasia mentioned...... ahhhhh.

Purps - I can see that being stressful.  BUT you have much more important things to be focusing yourself on.  And scan on Sunday? Think of that, will be amazing.  

SB - How are you doing my lovely?

I've not read back properly yet so will attempt that after the little people have a nap and I have completed the big clean up after tim had them yesterday.  Big news from us is we have decided to move to Nottingham, tim is starting to look for a job that way then we will go. Means I won't have to work (even though I really enjoy my work) but me working means tim works 10 hour days on the other days plus travelling and we never get any free time, weekends are filled with either getting jobs done or his family visiting.  I can't go out in the evenings as tim gets in too late and I've been pretty lonely for a while.  Not sure if its a really stupid idea but Ive agreed to it now.  I don't get on wth tims family thats my main concern and they would be around all the time no doubt interferring and getting on my nerves, Tims dad is an alcoholic and not a great influence on Tim butI guesss we will just have to see how it goes.

Heaps - is it testing soon? 

Zuri - Is it your first stimming scan today?

Anne - Big decisions honey.


----------



## IzziLu

Gosh so much happens on here after a couple of days away, it's so difficult to keep up  

Malini - hope the self-medicating with cake is helping, that would be my first choice too   So sorry you are still in such a difficult place and really hope the holiday (which sounds fab) is exactly what you need and don't beat yourself up about just wanting to chill - that's not lazy that's what holidays are for!   

Spuds and Nicki - bit late but so sorry that things didn't work out for you both this time, whether anticipated or not I'm sure the confirmation is no less easy to deal with when it comes. Love to you both       

Heaps - glad you made it back to Blighty ok and hope you're looking after yourself well    

AnnaSB - had a little giggle over your appt.    That's exactly the sort of thing I'd do, at least it gives you more time to prepare.  You did a fab job of describing Langkawi and all it's charms, I've now added it to my ever growing list of places to visit....eventually!  

Jal - fab news on your progress so far, hope all goes well with the blasts and you maybe even get a frostie or two, wouldn't that be fab?  

LV - glad to hear you've sorted things out a bit with DP, I found the six months before and after our wedding the most difficult in our relationship and I definitely think communication is the key so well done for talking  

Suzie - congrats on the birth of your baby boy and thanks for sharing, it is such an inspiration  

Stephjoy - thank you so much for the list, it certainly really helps us newbies put everything into place and must be such hard work to keep up so very gratefully received . BTW loving the new Avatar piccie  

Purps - just wanted to give you my heartfelt sympathy over your current situation.  I can't really offer any advice other than agreeing with the other girls and saying keep your distance as much as possible and put your own interests first, however alien that may be in the normal course of things      

Driver - PMSL over what you might be getting up to last night in your hotel room to bring on the  any sign yet?  

AFM - bit of a difficult day yesterday.  At a works seminar met up with a friend/colleague from another a company who I haven't seen for a few months and yes she has a five month bump (only got married last summer), then got home to receive a call from one of my best friends.  She very sadly suffered a still birth in Ocotober and although we are in very different situations we have really shared all our pain and she is my only real 3D confidante. She told me last night she is 6 weeks and I am of course absolutely delighted for her but had to have a little weep to myself after I came off the phone    Still on a more positive note, took delivery of my orange undies from La Senza too so not all bad!

Anne G   exciting that the clinic have put forward a doner, if she was ideal can't you tell the clinic so, or have they already matched her to someone else? Good luck with it all - it must be pretty scary when it all becomes so real!  

Love to all and so sorry for anyone I have missed, there's always so much going on!

IzziLu xXx


----------



## mag108

Mal: sending you a big hug. One day at a time, and if you need to one hour at a time. 

Anne: I can appreciate the anxiety. Its all getting closer. xxx to you

Xxx to everyone
Driver, say hi to Dublin for me.


----------



## Little Me

Wow Laura hun, firstly sorry you've been feeling so lonely  
This is a big decision for you but you never know, it could be brilliant hun, oooh, and you'll be closer to Birmingham   
You would defo have to stand your ground with Tims family hun, popping in unannounced etc etc is not good.
  

Hi Izz & Mag


----------



## Malini

Hi Anne. Tough, tough and more tough but the reward is so great that pushing ourselves forward kindly is all we can do. I can relate to the miscommunication confusion. Even with the US there have been moments.

Crikey Laura. That's big. Notts is better for the Peaks though and I'd love to get to know you better and meet your chiplets. You have a not so architecturally amazing but lovely all the same cowshed at your disposal. The benefit of people close that you're not fond of is that they can go home as quickly as they arrived.

Hugs all. You can see I am not doing too well with getting the day started.

M xxx


----------



## Han72

Mornin' all 

Sorry for being so crap at posting, I've been rushing around so much lately I've barely been able to keep track of the boards I mod, never mind catch up with the pr posse!  I'm going to read back properly over the weekend to find out what's been going on with you all but for now just wanted to say:

Malini precious girl  - It was so kind of you to welcome me into your home hon and lovely to meet your DH too! I'm still laughing about the mutant shrew...     But I'm a bit confused about these claims of ugliness and flab though.. where  You are beautiful inside and out, your DH clearly knows that and so does anyone else who's been lucky enough to meet you in person, so less of that if you please missus! I'm so glad that the holiday booking went well too, I knew Stacey would sort you out, she's fantabulous and I love her to bits  Good luck convincing DH re a second dawg, I know you'll find a way..   Tell him I said, "Eeh there's nowt so determined as a PR posse member!" It would save time and effort if he just accepted the inevitable gracefully, you're going to be a 2 dog household so       Beeeeeeg beeeeeeeg             to you and DH hon and I hope today is a good day                

Purps -     It must be nerve wracking, wondering what he's gonna say  or do next hon. Fingers crossed that he is the SOUL of discretion when he makes his appearance        

Mirrraaaaaaaaa  hi honey long time no see!  Chick we HAVE to hook up when I'm over for tx. I think I might spend the 2ww in Hants with mum and dad so hopefully I'll be able to get over and see you then and get my bobhugs!  Hope you're going to be compensated for being acting news editor while the boss is off sick!   

Anne hon - is it worth explaining again that you didn't necessarily want a different donor, it's just that you'd like to know if there's more than one to choose from Language barriers - total PITA!

Heaps -  chick how's it going?

Beachy, Mags. Spuds, Dinna, Zuri, Swinny and ooooh everybody  to you all!

Lordy sorry no more persos, off out to spend the day with SIL whos got the day off work. Now there's someone who's been in the wars! Just getting over cancer of the sinus and a divorce from an **** of an ex-hubby and now she's found out she has heart problems   So we're going to have a girly day plebbing around and window shawping and stuff  

Love to all and HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!

xxx

Crikey - 5 new replies while I was posting - must learn to type faster!

xxx


----------



## mag108

LauraB  . if your/tims quality of life will impove it will improve your ability to cope with everything
x


----------



## Miranda7

I'm working in Salisbury Nix - so if you fancy a lunch Mon, Tues or fri I'm much nearer then!


----------



## beachgirl

Laura move to Notts...I'll come and help you out hun xxxx


----------



## IzziLu

Ooh Laura, we must have been posting same time this morning and I had to rush off after so missed your big news, sorry you must have thought I was so rude   Anyway, that's a serious life change you're contemplating but sounds like it could be a good move all round with the exception of the in-laws, hopefully you'll be able to keep them in check   Good luck with it all  

Nix - hope you have a good day doing girly stuff with SIL. Sounds like she needs some distraction  

Better get back to work now  

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Kittycat104

Just a quick query from me as on the iPhone waiting for my follow up.

My AF started today - 19 day cycle rather than my usual 28 day.  Presumably this is down to the DHEA.  Should I be worried?  Or decrease my dose - I am taking 75mg a day.

Thanks in advance for the advice - will catch up with personals later when I am back on the lap top.


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - I am sure you are not big at all. I remember you having model like proportions! That said a little weight gain can make you feel pants. I started developing a moon face from the steroids and hope it goes soon. A private villa sounds like heaven. Hope you are both spoilt rotten over there.

Laura - ooh Notts! We are a 1 hour 15min drive from east midlands airport via the m6 toll, we'll be practically neighbours   Horrah! Laura I agree with Anne. Think you will need to set some ground rules. Is fil a recovering alchoholic or an our and our alchoholic? What a mare! 

Nix - your poor SIL!  

Izzilu - bumps are so hard to deal with.     Had an enormous bump come up to my desk yesterday   Really can't cope with them. Can't cope with small babies either (unless its a pr baby of course!) 

Anne  

Heaps  

Spuds & Nicki  

Zuri - hope you are stimming well    

Popsi - don't worry about posting hun  

Purps & Driver you posts made me    

Mir - sounds like you have an exciting job! 

Louise - sorry can't help but I have heard dhea can do funny things to your cycle   Maybe you should drop to 50mg per day and see what happens? I will be starting on 50mg and move up to 75mg if I feel ok

 to everyone who needs them 

AFM - trying to keep very busy. If I'm not busy I start thinking and get quite depressed

Anna x


----------



## Malini

Lovin' all this talk of model proportions and all that. But I got on the scales today and there were 10kg of extra weight. Everything bulges a little and I am uncomfortable.

Well done you Anna for keeping busy.

Sorry about erratic AF - post cycle things can be wonky for a while. They were for me.
Hope the follow-up is ok.

Hiya everyone else. I have horrible AF like cramps and can't think.

Malini xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - have you tried feminax ultra?


----------



## Malini

No what's that? Can I buy that over the counter?


----------



## Ourturn

Malini
You can get it from any where that has a chemist (sainsburies, boots etc). You can get feminax with all the usual pain meds but feminax ultra is usually behind the counter 

You take x2 initially then 1 every 6 hours as needed...usually sorts me out!


----------



## Malini

Thank you Anna. Will text dh now. Really appreciate the quick response. The NHS should finance this thread - it keeps me sane and directs me to appropriate meds.

Hope you're having a scrummy dinner tonight and Benji is being particularly affectionate. Will look out for labradoodle breeders at Crufts for you 

M xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - no probs. Supposed to be cooking a healthy meal but a take away curry is calling. Benji is all over dh now he is home. We are using the halti to stop his pulling during walks..he hates it but it really works! 
Enjoy crufts! 
x


----------



## laurab

ohhhhh curry. Think I may indulge myself too.

Right I have tidying to do before eastenders starts.... cup of tea, wine or rum..  

Oh exciting, didn't realise i'll have so many neighbours if i move to the midlands.  May not be Notts, think he saw a job in Stoke on Trent... but its that way.


----------



## lucky_mum

Quickie!

Malini - hope the Feminax Ultra sorts out your AF pains - next time you are at your GP you could ask for mefenamic acid (generic name - trade name is Ponstan I think) which I found works best  hope you enjoy Crufts! 

Louise - I would drop to 50mg - might be wrong but think 50mg is indicated more in 35s and under anyway? (seem to remember Miranda taking 50mg?) - good luck! 

Laura - WOW  that is Hee-YUGE news! have you told your own folks yet and what do they think? sounds drastic but can understand how hard it must sometimes with things the way they are now  hope so much it works out well whatever happens  - would miss being able to "pop" round! - speaking of which let me know some dates (late March/April?) we could maybe come see you!?    for those cute bubs!

Vivvy is lovely and still a joy, thanks to those who asked, I put some more photos on ** last night  today her Daddy sat right in front of her highchair and she put some of her food in his mouth and laughed her head off - it was so cute - sharing already bless her!  

gotta go - I also got loads to do before 'Stenders  lots of love to all!


----------



## Spuds

Girls xxxx

Bu**er - taken me so long to catch up and now Eastenders nearly on   

Will be back after - but in the meantime;

Purps - so sorry honey must be really difficult - may be a stupid idea but what about writing down what you think/conversations you have with your Dad so he can refer to them ? - just a thought re memory - it may help - must be so flippin difficult - I was thinking about adoption for a split second the other day all a bit much at the min - then thought bl**dy hell - my family and DH's are more dyspfunctional than a years worth of Eastenders and Springer in one - God knows what social would make of us - I know how it feels with the skeleton stuff you want to feel safe and move on    

PamLS - HUGE CONGRATULATIONS HONEY !!!! Keep those bumper follies going      

Heaps -      really thinking of you love     

Mal - you are so inspirational to me love - you enjoy your hols private pool sounds lush !

Nicki - hope you are binging as much as me and enjoying it    

lAURA XXXX - GO FOR IT GIRL AND GET YOUR 'BOUNDARY FOR RELATIVES ' BOOK ON THE GO XXX

sTENDERS STARTIN XXXX
sPUIUDS


----------



## wishingforanangel

DRIVER225 said:


> [quote author=wishingforanangel dimsum] - thanks for the info on your epp cycle...it seems like it is not the best cycle to use. sigh.


WFAM - I think the one thing I have gleamed from all the time spent on the forums over the last year or so is that there is not a "best cycle" for everyone, unfortunately there is a lot of trial and error until you find the right protocol for you, what works really well for one person may prove to be a disaster for someone else. 

PS I love California 
[/quote]

Good point. I think my heart is set on doing the estrogen priming protocol but my head is playing the odds game.


----------



## wishingforanangel

Malini said:


> There is NO normal in any of this Wishing. It is private, personal and painful though. Don't rule out the Lister because of me. I was just relating to your story about odd IF docs and the madness of trying to find consistent and helpful clinicians in this battle. There are so many unknowns and egos and individual responses that finding what is right for you is difficult. What works for one may not for another and vice versa.
> 
> On that point, I was on the ocp/bcp for 6 weeks prior to my SIRM cycle and produced exactly the same number of eggs as my cycle in August which was SP with no DR of any description. Much better fert rate at SIRM. Go figure.
> 
> Malini xxx


I suppose there is no such thing as normal. I just keep thinking if this works (the whole fertility treatment) then my kid will like feel better knowing at least one genetic parent if I use the estrogen priming protocol instead of not knowing either if I use egg/embryo donation.

No worries about putting me off Lister...just wishing doctors weren't so weird sometimes...I was sort of thinking I might want to use a Clinic in Scotland only because London is a little to busy for me sometimes and I don't want. Just emailed SIRM in Las Vegas...since the clinic close to me changed hands...Not to sure though if I want to be in Las Vegas even though they do the estrogen priming protocol. Course if the clinic is willing to help me then maybe.


----------



## fluffy jumper

Very early post from me.  I woke at 1.30 to find DH not in bed - downstairs playing the xbox    By the time I had gone downstairs to tell him to come to bed I was wide awake and haven't been able to get back to sleep. So I have given up and come downstairs.  DH and I used to constantly argue about his playing computer games until the early hours and he hasn't played for ages.  He treated himself to the Xbox for reaching a sales target at the shop.  I don't know why it bothers me so much, it doesn't exactly affect me, it just seems a pointless waste of time and I worry about why he gets so much pleasure out of shooting people on a TV screen.  rant over.

Laura, Wow, I am sorry to hear you have been so lonely.  I hope your move further north gives you a better quality of life and a chance to make new friends - with the trips there will be plenty of groups you can join.  Sounds like you will have lots of PR friends fairly nearby.

Jal, congrats on those embies.  Good luck for ET.

Steph.  Vivvy is looking gorgeous.  I loved your description of her laughing with DH.

Malini.  Enjoy your holiday, it sounds wonderful.  I hope it brings you a little peace.    There is plenty of time to get back in shape when you return - for now, enjoy all that wonderful malaysian food.

Anne.  It is such a nerve wracking time approaching any tx, especially DE when so much is out of your control.  How is shortie?

Heaps.  Glad you are not going too mad on the 2ww   

Nix, I hope your shopping trip made your sil feel a little better.

Driver.  Did any of those AF tricks work?  I find an hpt always brings it on. I can't remember how many hpts I have done in the vague hope then AF arrives minutes later.  I don't suppose you have tried the white trousers it being winter.

SB.  Is the moon face only noticeable to you?  It is the one thing I worry about with pred.  another question, how long can you be on pred for before you start having to wean yourself off it.  I am thinking of taking it from day 5 from next month but can't remember if that means I can stop when AF arrives or have to start going down by 5mg per day.

Better post this before I lose it


----------



## fluffy jumper

back to finish my post now.  Max called to me, so I got in bed with him but still didn't manage to sleep.  Now I am really tired but not worth giong back to bed really.

Miranda.  I hope you are enjoying work even though it is stressful.

Purple.  I hope your Dad behaves himself.    

Jersey. How are you feeling?  When is the move?

SB. Haven't plucked up the courage to email Penny at serum re chlamydia yet.  I feel like I don't want to know about another problem.  Then again I don't want to have another MC and wonder.  All this information we get on here is great but it does make your head spin a bit.


----------



## Ourturn

Tracey - you can come off it without weaning after being on it for up to 3 weeks. I am a bit worried about being on steroids more of less constantly whilst ttc so for this reason I am thinking about starting the pred between day 8 - 10 of my cycle. There is another school of though which says too high a does of steroids can impede implantation, so I am thinking about starting on a lower dose and (10mg) before ov, 15mg from ov and 25mg from cycle day 21 MAYBE....I don't know. Need to do more research. 
My face filled out more around the sides on the last week of pred (week 4), I feel there is less definition between my neck and face. That said I have been off pred for a few days and I feel its improving. 

I felt exactly the same re the C test but if we move onto de I really don't want us to spend all that money without having exhausted every reason why I keep miscarrying. E-mail Penny, give her your history and ask if she thinks its worth you doing the test (given you have had 2 children). If she says yes, you might want to get it done via Mr Gorgy. He charges £150, sends you the tube and form and you send them off to Athens. The test if you go direct is 200 euros + postage. So given the exchange rate Mr G is cheaper. Many of the ladies on Mr G's test are having the test done. Diane (who told me about this) had the test after her friend had it. She had 7 failed cycles, tested + for hidden C, had the antib's and was pregnant within a month! Diane tested + too and is on antib's (she has had several mc's)

Anna x


----------



## laurab

Morning early birds!

Tracey - So with you with the xbox... tim has  PS3 and spends hours on it each evening.  I just dont get it.  Winds me up terribly too even though I'mnormally sittin on the laptop on ** or FF!    I bet if we disconneted our laptopn and PS3 for a week we'd be so on top of our jobs!!  Hows things going on the reationship front now your back?

SB - Moon face?? Ive never heard of that, I'm sure you look gorgeous as ever... we are always tough on ourselves.  

I'm regretting drinking all that rum now.


----------



## Ourturn

Laura - its a side effect of steroids. DH is a big fan of rum...I like it in cocktails. I make a really good rum punch which bf called 'f**** me juice' because after one 'f me I'm drunk'! 

Tracey - forgot to say to avoid moon face and bloating on steroids you need to completley cut out salt! Needless to say I did not manage it.

Right need to get my **** into gear busy day. 

Anna x


----------



## laurab

I love rum... makes me feel all warm and fuzzy... you'll have to let me have your rum punch recipe!    I'm sure you notice it more than anyone else, you alays looks fab in your pics.


----------



## Miranda7

Ach, I missed your news in my scanning of the thread, LB! How come you're moving to Notts?


----------



## laurab

Because to stay here we both need to work, which is actually fine as I quiet like going to work.  BUT it means tim orks 4 long days and then has the gang on his own thurssdays... not really sure he can cope that well, but him working so late means Im on my own most of the time and by the time he gets home its too late for me to go and do anything.  I'm just feeling a bit lonely and tired.  The move would mean Tim would just work a normal week and for a couple of years I would be home.  Not really sure its a great plan but well I like to feel i'm doing something to make things better. Timis really stressed in his current job.  He is sleeping in today and then going out on his bike for the rest of the day so once again I'm home alone all day.   We'll prob go for a walk to the park but I need more company than just the duckies!!  

How did house viewing go?


----------



## Swinny

Purps Oh my goodness can't believe the situation your dad is putting you in, so unfair!! I can totally empathise with you on the selfish actions of your father as i've got one of those. I am so sorry that you've obviously been through so much growing up. Please, please try not to let this upset you too much as Malini said we don't want any pent up emotions causing you and bubba stress. 

Malini – Yep when I want something badly enough I just have to be sneaky!! Natural lazy is the way to go honey. I am with Steph on the Mefanamic Acid, I used to take that for my AF pains. I have had my pain relief stepped up a wee bit further and I am on voltarol supp's as I suffer badly too. In the meantime, try taking a combination of ibuprofen and paracetomol together at the same time (it's safe you won't be Oding and it's effective). 

Well Mags and I had a bl**dy nightmare day yesterday....BA have threatened strike action next week when we're due to fly to Athens. We have had to cancel our flights and re-book a more expensive flight with BMI for the day before, so we've lost our connecting flights that we'd booked, along with a night in the hotel at Heathrow that we'd already pre-paid not to mention the fact that we've had to book an extra night in a hotel in Athens, I am flaming furious!!! Calmed down a bit today and have got my positive head back on and am looking at it as a lovely mini break with my little pal Mags.

Heaps – Loving the image of you beaming all the way home

Mir – How did the viewing go?? And how's the new job??

Laura – Sending you a massive   it makes me sad to think that you are feeling so lonely  Ooooh Nottingham, you're moving nearer to us Northern lasses, we'll be along to say hello and if it's Stoke that's only about an hour away from us Manchester girlies. Try not to worry too much about Tim's family and concentrate on you two and how much better it'll be for the babies. It'll mean loads more quality time together as a family and then hopefully once the babies are a bit bigger you can concentrate on your career again. Exciting new start hun and I wish you all the luck and love in the world xxx

Tracey – If you take Prednisolone for a few weeks you will need to wean yourself off gradually honey. I was told to take it down each day by 5mg and then when you are down to 5mg have one every other day for 3 days and then stop.

Well both Anne and I got emailed details of potential donors for our forthcoming cycles. I had hoped for a choice of donors and I politely asked if I could see another so that we could ensure that we are making the correct decision (its just such a massive decision) and not heard back since. The donor that they have found is 5 feet 7 and 9 stone 6lb, she has blonde hair ad blue eyes and is a proven donor. She is 28 and that was my one and only concern...sounds so pathetic when I actually verbalise it. I just wanted my donor to be early 20's. I think I am being ridiculous and so will probably go with this donor.

Anne – Sorry I missed your call chuck. How you doing?  Do you think we've hacked them off with asking for a choice?

Driver – Any news on the AF?? 

RC –  

Nix – hey chick did you enjoy your day out with SIL?

Louise – Stick with it kiddo. It'll probs just be your body getting used to the DHEA xx

Zuri, Shortie, IzziLu, Steph, Popsi and the rest of the gang


----------



## Miranda7

Viewing went really well! They're having what they call 'a serious think' about it and will let us know Monday. Please God, let them buy it so we can get on with life.

LB - you'll always have a job if you're a social worker I reckon. It's a shame you can't have that day's break though.

Swins - age isn't everything - the fact she's successfully donated before is more reassuring I think. Honestly - though you should have a choice. I don't think you've annoyed them - they prob just haven't got round to it yet.


----------



## laurab

Swins I don't think there is really any decline in fertility (in most people..  ) until you are over 35, 28 really is a fab age, at least you know she is making her own decision and not a silly teenager who hasn't thought it all through.  Ohhhhhh exciting!  

Mir - Yeah I'm sad about work, I ork with lovely people and its really well paid considering I only do a day per week.  And now I live on a tube line its only 35 mins to work. I guess I just have to look at the bigger picture.  At th moment we have no spare time. Oh glad viewing ent well.... got everything crossed.  Maybe you could move to Notts!


----------



## Swinny

LB & Mir - Thanks girls, you are my voices of reason and you're both dead right. Love you both


----------



## laurab

Swins - Ohhh voice of reason.... I feel all mature and grown up!!


----------



## Miranda7

We love you too, Swins!  

We're thinking North Dorset, LB - not north north! I'm loving my new job, so would like to move closer.

Going to put my face on and take the Boy to soft play this morning. I just have to find my little mirror. Where did I put it?


----------



## Lilly7

Morning everyone.  

Thanks Suzie, Jal, Siobhan, Steph, Annasb and everyone who gave feedback about the ocp before tx. It seems that responses are very varied . . not sure if I should risk it or not . . but if theres no other way to get rid of the persistent little cyst  .

Malini  . I'm Soooooo Jealous that your going to crufts!!! Good luck with persuading DH to get pup number 2. Are you thinking of another chow? 

Purple, I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your dad. It sounds really tricky.  

Laura, Nottingham!!! How exciting . . and scary. We're only about 50 mins away. When do you think you will move? x

Hi Steph, Purple, Mag, Heaps, Driver, WFAA, Swinny, RC, Mir, Zuri, Anne, Shortie, Izzilu, nix, Louise, Spuds, tracey and everyone else. 

I'm in the dog house today! I overheated the engine     yesterday and the car had to be recovered . . The engine is now apparently F*****!!! and it looks like we will need to get another car. DP is furious.


----------



## laurab

Surely for the car to over heat there was somethin wrong with it?  where is RH when you need him?? He would know. I'm sure it wasn't your fault.  And if it was so bloody what..  

Tim needs a find another job first, so will be 6 months at least I expect. Looks like I'll have lots of lovely neighbours!


----------



## Lilly7

laurab said:


> I'm sure it wasn't your fault. And if it was so bloody what..


I quite agree Laura. The car did have probs that were apparently all sorted. Obviously not! 
If only dp could put all his anger into gratitude that I'm ok, instead of steaming away like a grumpy old dragon!

It looks like you'll be moving to PR central


----------



## Kittycat104

Broadband disappeared yesterday at home, so have lots now to catch up on

Laura - sounds like the move is a good one.  I have no idea how you manage to keep up with work and the chippers, I really admire you.  Definitely need to impose some clear boundaries on the PILs at the start though.  And like Miranda says, yo can always start working again if you want once you are settled in.

Leola - I know nothing about cars but I agree with Laura - surely the car can't just have suddenly decided to overheat?

Swinny - I know very little about DE, but have spent a lot of time thinking about it.  I think you need to be sure that you are picking the right donor for you to feel the very best you can about the process.  Have you heard back from them yet?

Jersey - enjoy the binging.  Wine, chocolate, cakes etc - yum.  We need our treats.

Stephjoy - Vivvy is absolutely gorgeous.  You must be such a proud mum.

Anna - why is it that bumps seem to be everywhere at the moment?  And I have to keep smiling at yet another babyshower today.

Malini -   when do you head off to Malaysia?

Hello to Tracey, Wishing, Miranda, Izzulu, Mags, Nix, Heaps, Popsi and everyone else.

AFM - confusing times.  Need PR advice.  Had FU yesterday.  Actually left feeling a bit more positive as Dr seemed to think there was still hope for OE.  But he said that in his opinion, I should just try several cycles of IUI rather than IVF.  This is because DH sperm is OK and he doesn't think there is a lot more to be gained from IVF.  He put a 15% chance of success on each IUI.  He also said I should try and lower dose of stimms as there is limited evidence that higher doses make much difference.

Also talked about my short luteul phase - I am now ovulating about day 20 out of a 28 day cycle - and he wanted to do cycle tracking this month to have a look into that.  Anyone else had experience of overcoming this?  And he said to stick to the 75mg of DHEA.

What do you all think?  I had my head and heart set on the Jinny, but DH is keen on the IUI option.  Where do I go from here?

Also, AF has now disappeared! TMI alert - but two days of very light brown spotting, one day light bleeding and now nothing.  Was that it?

Louise x


----------



## Kittycat104

Purple - forgot to say, hope you have made it through the TV stuff without too much pain or embarrassment.  Families can be a nightmare at times.


----------



## laurab

Heapy - when is test date? You have no ticker....


----------



## laurab

Thats AGES away... how many days past EC is that.... ill you be... ahem... indulging in early testing...


----------



## lucky_mum

Hi all 

re steroids - I also got the moon face (as anyone who has seen the DVD of me and DH on our quiz programme will have seen!) Heaps - think the Jinemed do that as standard - they are really not keen on immune tx, I have to admit I always carried on taking them through the 2ww when I was with them as had borderline NK cells.

Swinny - she sounds good to me! A couple of the girls on the Reprofit thread who had more than one tx found that they got pregnant on the cycle with an older donor (ie 28ish v 23ish - and one got pregnant from a donor who was 32 even though she hadn't from a 23 yr old - the proven aspect is important), I don't think the difference is very big at all in fertility between 28 and younger anyway  It IS a big decision though, I would advise you to go with your gut  good luck hon, we are all rooting for you!   

Louise - I can't see any harm in trying IUI if DH's swimmers are good - it's a lot cheaper and you can try every month - I would put a limit on it though, say x3 and then maybe move onto a low-stim/natural cycle if it hasn't worked. I know a couple of girls from my first clinic who got pregnant this way even after IVF 

Ooops, gotta go! back later xxxx


----------



## laurab

Steph  - I'm obviously completely unobservant! I didn't notice your face, can't have been that bad... will send you some dates.


----------



## Spuds

Quickie girls

Chaos at home - leaving party happening tonight and loads of Gav's mates coming to stay - have stripped beds - blown up air beds - sorted out whole house and am now cream crackered....

We move with the moggs a week on Monday !! ARGHHHHH - then Im on my own in Jersey til DH gets back with the furniture and removal men on the Saturday  !!! May not have internet so bricking it   

Thanks for all your support over this negative cycle - am enjoying alcohol a lot and focussing on the move for now - finding it too painful to think and at the minute dont have the time - worried about the days on my own though - might have to text you guys instead to keep me from going loopy loo 

Laura - wish you could move to Jersey instead of Notts and we could drink rum and go to the zoo with the chipsters )

Heaps - keep going love - keep it out your head and keep busy
xxxx


----------



## Spuds

Wanted to say hellooooo to Tracey Louise Mags Steph, Mal, Mir Swinny Mal Anne Nix and all you gorgeous girls xxxx

Good luck re the DE cycle - I think it was Swinny who had concerns about the 28 issue - seriously hun Im sure she will be good if she is a proven doner and 20-28 dont think theres much in it xxxxxx good luck xx

Lousie n Tracey - thanks for your msges girls

xxxxx


----------



## RJS

Hi All,

Just a quick question...when I had my last full cycle of IVF I responded badly and came on to this board and got lots of great advice. I am about to start d/r and wanted to ask a few questions...

Last time I drank protein shakes which I got from Holland and Barrett....do any of you use these and if so, from when - start of d/r or stimming? Also I was advised to use a heated wheat bag on my tummy...when is this good from?

Any other advice gratefully recieved!

Many thanks and good luck all


xxx


----------



## laurab

RJS - Think thats all from hen you start stimming.  Good Luck.  

Spuds - Ohhh we'll come to jersey bet it luverleey! We looking for somewhere cheap though, maybe you could knock us up a little 4 bed annexe at the bottom of your garden??  Zoo's AND rum drinking.... thats my kinda day!


----------



## Lulu40

@purple72 - I read your message from a couple of nights ago about your father and I'm sorry for not replying to it sooner.

For what it's worth, I'd read the Daily Mail article already, without knowing it was about your father, and his, erm, 'colourful history' seemed to me to be sensitively addressed.  They didn't include any prurient details, just enough, really, to put the transformation into context, and the context seemed to be that it was a story about redemption.

Whatever your father may or may not have done in the past, he's obviously a changed person now, and he's putting the talents he's been blessed with to good use and trying to help other people.  That's very commendable to my mind.  It just struck me that whoever he was in the past isn't the same person as the man he is today.

We don't all get a second chance.  My thoughts as a random person who happened to read the article not knowing your father or your family (or the people and families affected by what he did in the past) was to think he's been lucky to be given such a chance and it's good that he seems to have turned his life around.

Of course, in your situation, I'd possibly be mortified by the attention as well, and worried and embarrassed about how it reflected on me.  I think lots of people have skeletons in their family closets.  I know I sometimes cringe at my own family's Jerry Springer-style issues.

But speaking as an outsider, someone who doesn't know your father or your family, I don't know if it will give you any comfort if I say that I should think that the very vast majority of people who read about your father will likely take him as they find him - today, and they won't necessarily dwell on your father's past.  Lots of us have made mistakes in our lives and I'm sure we'd hope that people won't judge us to be the sum of only our mistakes and nothing else and I'm sure we'd hope that people would forgive us our mistakes and allow us to learn lessons from them and hopefully make amends.  To me, as an outsider, your father is more than his past mistakes.  He's someone who seems to have been given a wake up call through his illness and is seemingly now trying to move forwards and make a better life for himself and others.

I appreciate it's tricky for you, because you know the details and you're scared that more skeletons will fall out of the closet, or maybe you're worried that some malicious people might drag those skeletons out and wave them about in revenge or something?  If that were to happen, I'm sure it would reflect badly on the people who did that, it would reflect worse on them than your father, I think.  

It's tough, though, that he finds sharing information to be cathartic in some way, whereas his story is also your story, in a way, well, your stories overlap, and you don't want the past to be dredged up.  I don't know what the answer is to that, because it's one of those things where you can't really reach a compromise.  It's like if one half of a couple wants to have children and the other doesn't, you can't compromise on having a half a child.  Similarly, your father feels comfortable with sharing his story and you don't feel comfortable with him sharing his story, because his story is also partly your story.

And I know it's easy for me to say, because I didn't live through your experiences and you've been adversely affected by his past behaviour, but if he's trying to put his past behind him - and you said yourself that he wasn't the nicest of people before the brain injury - since he's a different person now maybe it would be good for you to try to let go of the person who he was.  

You can't change his past.  He can't change his past.  But what you can both do is have some control over the present and future.  

You said you've talked to him about how uncomfortable you feel about it.  Since his story is already 'out there' in the media now, the cat is out of the bag in that sense, there's no going back, the only thing you can influence is your feelings, why you feel so comfortable about it?  I really doubt anyone thinks badly of you because of your father's past actions, if that's what you're worried about?  And I doubt that people will think so badly of your father now, either, because he seems to be a changed person.  

Could it be that you're more uncomfortable and frightened of what people might think rather than what they actually think?  

You said you thought it sounds very Jerry Springer like and there's no beating about the bush, yeah, it is a bit, but in the wider scheme of things?  What people will think is that:  Your father survived something that could have killed him.  He's become a better person and he's trying to help other people.  And he's going to be around to be a grandfather to your little one and he'll hopefully be a better grandfather than he was a father.  That sounds suspiciously like a happy ending in the making.


----------



## Jal

Hi all

Just a quick post as not had chance to read back, had ET today, only 1 out of 6 made it to Blast and it was an early blast so no grading. Disappointed that we didn't get 2 but didn't really expect to, so pinning all our hopes on 1 little un now   

Jope you're all having a good weekend.

J xx


----------



## laurab

Oh Heaps... girl after my own heart. Not that I'm condoning early testing.  

Jal- Hon a blast is a blast! Well done you! Have we named him/her? 

Zuri - I think you should be filling us in on your scan?? Was it not Friday? 

Purps - Hope you get a good pic of beany tom, hope your ok.


----------



## Züri

just a quickie girls have just skim read but can't catch up proper as got mum here staying

Laura thanks so much for remembering me - my scan is on Monday after 7 days of stimming - to be honest with mum here and lot of shopping i am hardly thinking of the stimming, apart from having to do my jab at the loos at a tennis tournament yesterday all is going OK so far - but has anyone else suffered extreme fatigue whilst stimming? i am exhausted continuously

Malini I am jealous of your holiday! woe own villa and pool at the datai! we looked at that hotel for our honeymoon

Laura - where will you be moving to in Notts? I lived there 10 years before moving here

Nikki an Spuds so sorry for you both xx  

Anne sorry for the stress and mix up with the clinic  

Jal well done x

Heaps   

xxx


----------



## beachgirl

Heaps   to Ted x

Just heard about the raffle on the radio...very interesting..


----------



## Ourturn

Zuri - hopefully you are feeling so tired because you are producing lots of lovely follies      

Heaps - poor Ted     Re the raffle...there are some really ignorant comments on the daily mail site. Do they not realise people needing de have been through a really tough journey and are not doing it to have a designer baby? If you can choose someone who is a close match to you in terms of looks, education and peronality then why not?   
If I lived in London I would be there on Wednesday! 

Laura - Stoke's not too far either! 

Beachey - morning  

Anyone else find mother's day really tough? Feeling very sorry for my self


----------



## beachgirl

SB    hugs hun x


----------



## laurab

SB - I think mothers day is always gonna be a tough day.   

Heaps - Get well soon Ted....


----------



## lainey-lou

Hello girls

Been thinking of you all today as I remember how hard mother's day has been for me in the past, so wanted to come on and give you all a big   and say that I am   that this is your year and you all get lucky.

Sorry I don't post anymore, I just can't keep up with you all now I have two babies to look after (greedy, I know!).  Laura - I don't know how you do it, three babies and you still find time to post on here.  I take my hat off to you.

Malini - wanted to send a special hug to you as you have had a particularly horrible time of it.  

Ally - sorry to hear about your friend.  I am always here if you need me.

SB - sorry you are finding today tough  

Hi to everyone else and lots of love

Lainey xx


----------



## popsi

Hiya Ladies

Just calling in very quickly to send you all huge amounts of love and   ... i know today is not a nice day, i have had 10 rubbish ones so i really do feel with all my heart how hard it is for you all, especially the ones that have lost your Mums too ( I felt the same on fathers day for years )... I do really think of you all as special friends i will always hold in my heart, and i will post EVERY time i get a possible chance, I am praying that whatever roads you choose one day you will all your dreams come true xxx

sorry that got a bit sloppy.. been an emotional day xxxx


----------



## laurab

Pops - Glad you had a special day.  

Zuri - Good Luck for your scan tom.  

Hope everyone is not online as they are too busy out doing something nice. Thinking of you all.


----------



## julie1973

Hello Ladies, 

I hope you dont mind me posting...I am looking for some hope and encouragement, we have just had our 1st IVF cycle cancelled due to no response to the stimms.... not even 1 follicle I am totally devastated... and I am starting to wonder what the future holds. 

We have our follow up appt in 4 weeks and really want to go prepared so any advice would be grately appreciated...Just looking for someone in the same position,and hoping for some encouragement...

Thankyou.. Julie x


----------



## laurab

Julie -   My first cycle was cancelled as I had no follies, I now have 3 babies (or toddlers as people keep telling me... ) Tell us more info and we will arm you with info for your follow up.... protocol, drugs and doses, blood results (fsh/ amh), your 'diagnosis'.... we'll get you through.  Great bunch of girls here. As heaps says bit of a difficult day being mothers day so bit quiet... think a few got rather drunk last night.. tut tut.  

Hiya Heaps


----------



## laurab

I did have a lay in and get brekkie in bed.... but then it was the usual jobs plus I shampooed all the carpets this evening...


----------



## purple72

Just got back from weekend at mums and read back on all your posts, will catch up properly tomorrow, just wanted to say tonight how wonderful all you ladies are and so very supportive! Thank you for all your kind words, and I promise that I will not let any negative feelings get through to my beautiful baby (He/she was just gorgeous on the scan today) 

Thank you for those that read the papers, and you're right from an outsiders point of view it's a wonderful story of bad man turned good, and again you're right in that so much as he's a much better person than he was before. My worry however comes not from really what he's done in the past that he's admitted too, but more from the fact that he's done horrid things to people who may become increasingly resentful of him being viewed in a positive light now, when in fact there are some things he hasn't exactly 'paid' for (not literally he wasn't a shoplifter, nothing as trivial unfortunately, but more on a justice level) that people may want to rock what they see as his now 'better' world.

Anyway after a weekend with mum and seeing bubba, I think what will be will be. I haven't done anything wrong and if his past crimes come back to bite him on the @rse and if it embroils me then I'll deal with it as and when.

Till then I'm just going to go with the flow and not let negativity get me down!

Will do personals tomorrow sweet ladies,

Big hugs to you all xxxx

Sx


----------



## Rural Chick

Morning lovely ladies and RH  

Sorry for being awol. TBH I have been so sad and cross by AnnaSB's Malini's, Spud's and Nicki's sad news that I have struggled to post, although I have been reading. IF is so bl00dy unfair and it affects the nicest people       
As well as that, my grandad (nearly 92) is in hospital and we had the funeral of a good friend on Friday - a routine op went horribly wrong and she was only 49     Why is life so unfair at times?

Anyway, rant over, and onward and upwards. I'm not going to attempt persos as I'll never catch up, but I do want to sent          to Heaps - I see you've been tempted into early testing by Laura  

I promise to do better this week.

Love and          to you all.

**** sy **** sy xxxx


----------



## Jumanji

Oh dear lord - I'm playing catch up again!

Spuds - I am so sorry about your BFN. Like Malini I don't believe it is over for you either so please hang in there. Hope your move is being well organised!

Nicki - really sorry about your BFN too but once you move to a different clinic it can be a different story; look at Jal's responses at the Lister compared to her old clinic. Also with your AMH have they considered PCOS? I know it sounds daft but we have seen a couple of ladies here with PCOS who still under respond (like you they have endo which may be the issue) and it is something which should be looked into.

Malini - give yourself a little more time; there is no quick fix on what you are going through. I hope you enjoyed Crufts. I used to go every year. And I don't think you should feel you live a "charmed life" - you have been through and are going through a lot of pain which is anything but charming. I am glad you are going to be getting some sunshine.

Wishing - sorry you have been through such a dreadful experience with doctors. Personally I don't tend to rate doctors generally - apart from our Nicks of course!

Heaps - PUPO lady; hope you're not going too nuts!

Purps - I can understand this stuff with your dad being very sensitive, especially at the moment. However, as the wise Miranda has said, you do need to concentrate on you at the moment. Also Lulu40 had some very wise words. I hope you are ok.

Louise - I agree with Wishy Washy that you have made a good decision on the job front. I do think such a drastic change in cycle is likely to be the DHEA. You might want to reduce your dose for now, especially bearing in mind you are only 35.

Jal - congrats on the blast. Are you PUPO yet?

Wishy Washy - hope you are doing ok.

LV - glad you had a good cry; with your history and age I wouldn't rush into DE but you need to do what is right for you.

Siobhan - sorry you had a poor acu experience; I was interested in the response you got even though it did not address your issue. I agree that IVF and natural cycles are very different so it always annoys me the way that women are told that, based on an IVF cycle or a test studied only on the context of IVF that they have [insert very low number]% chance naturally. I am pleased it was acknowledged that your AMH isn't too bad too. Hang in there!

Mag - yes, I watch Desperate Housewives too but these days I fall asleep in front of it so tend to record it and watch it in the daytime! Sorry about the immunes - not something I know much about I'm afraid.

Tracey - hello there!

SuzieW - many congratulations! Thanks for sharing your story.

Driver - AF always goes AWOL when you want her to arrive.

Swinny - so sorry about the mastitis.

Louise - please do not feel that you somehow "left it too late". I hate the blame culture which uses that phrase - many, many women leave it as late or later than you and have no problems at all getting pregnant. This has nothing to do with anything you did. I am glad your follow up was positive - sounds like you have a decent doc who will not trot out the DE speech at the first sign of trouble. I don't know much about IUI so I can't help there - sorry!

Donkey - is there any news on your cat?

PamLS - congrats on those follies; keep going!

Leola - hello there! Sorry about the car. I am not to be trusted with cars...

Steph - glad you have found a second to post! Love the latest pic of Vivvy!

Anne - glad you are ok and just had a break; good luck with finding the right donor.

Shortie - much love to you; you are missed.

Laura - wow! Big news on the move! Sorry you have been feeling so lonely. I think loneliness is the worst thing and it must be really hard to get out and about much with triplets - I battle to go for a walk with just one! I agree with Anne that you'll need to be clear with Tim's family.

Nix - your posts are always so great!

Beachy - hello!

Miranda - I can't believe how big Robert is now! You were pregnant when I first posted here! Hope there is good news on the house.

Izzilu - sorry you have had to go through friends' baby news; it is hard and it sounds as though you coped very well. Glad the orange undies arrived!

SBAnna - sorry you have to keep busy to stop feeling depressed; you have been through a lot so be good to yourself and hang on in there.

Zuri - good luck with the scan!

Lainey - hello there!

Popsi - hope your princess is doing well.

Julie - please don't despair; from your signature you were only on a dose of 300 which is nothing like the highest and there are also different protocols and drug combinations to be tried. We see a LOT of ladies who have a cancelled cycle only to do fine next time. Sadly, they are the ones who tend to drift away because they find they respond normally once the right protocol, drug combination or dose is used. Hang in there.

RC - so sorry about your friend and sorry to hear your grandfather isn't so well; thinking of you.

Love to everyone else.

Where is our lovely Pix? Hope she is ok.

I have the most atrocious cold and it just won't shift!


----------



## H&amp;P

Wow LJ    amazing personals

Ladies thanks for all the advise to how to get AF to arrive (not a usual request for me  ) but she's still not here, I am on CD30, the only other time I have had a 30 day cycle was when I got the BFP last April ( a HPT this morning has shown that not to be the case this time  ), could it be the DHEA or the agnus castus? Really need her to arrive soon or it might mess up my donor cycle  , what do you think girls should I stop taking them and see if she then appears.......

Sorry for the me post, just sneaking in to ask your opinions before I have to go out to a funeral....


----------



## Jumanji

Driver - I tried agnus castus once and it really messed with my cycles and I suddenly had a 35 day one as opposed to my usual 27.  Others do swear by it and I believe it works for a lot of people so I don't want to play the "blame game" with it but I do have to say it really messed my cycle up. 

Thanks for complimenting my personals especially since I have just noticed I missed you out!


----------



## Little Me

Hi all

Just a quickie to say...

Zuri- Lots of luck today  

**** y- how horrible hun, hat a week you've had  

Purps-   

Heaps - lots of luck for Friday.   

Shortie is ok girls, had a great night out with her on in Saturday and spend most of yesterday throwing up   

I found yesterday tough- missed my mum and yet again, no baby of my own. The boys are great but they're not mine- sounds horrible but it's not meant to

love to all
xxxx


----------



## mag108

LJ: well you can still post thats for sure! Hope things are settle down a bit for you now and you are enjoying your little one.
xx Heaps

xx Anne, I know what you mean!

XX Laura b (hope you had a few treats!)

xx everyone else.

cant quite keep up with myself at mo. Hysteroscopy this Friday and off to Athens again next week (3rd time lucky), not happy I have to go again but going with the lovely swinny so it will be fun.

Had a lovely weekend in the Lakes, marred only by one thing: arrived in a cafe in Ullswater and was looking for a place to sit with DH when on of the staff ran after me and yelled 'thats just for mothers day', about a particular room. Needless to say I was narked, I said 'how do you know I am not here for mothers day'. Hate it as a day, miss my mammy and not one myself.

xx


----------



## Han72

Hi all

Wotcha LJ - perso queen!

RC -     

Mags - Gawd! How insensitive!     Stoopid normals, don't let the buggers get you down honey!   Good luck with the hysto hon, where are you getting it done?

Zuri      

Hey Anne -    sorry MD upset you   But I am well jealous you got to get p155ed with Shortie!  I hadn't been keeping track on here properly so it took e a ahile to figure out why all the status updates on ** had 2 names on 'em        How's yer tum today chick?

Drives - DHEA made my cycles shorter so maybe it is the AC? Hope she turns up soon! 

Wotcha Purps  glad you're feeling better after your scan   Did s/he wave at you 

Heaps - soooo didja   Or is it too early yet    

Malini - hope Crufts was good chick! how many pups have you brought back with you 

Dinna -     I think I'm immune to mother's day.. mind you I'm in France so I wasn't being bombarded with the constant telly and newspaper ads   It's Christmas that gets me every time ...

I'm orfski to buy my Eurostar ticket for London next week...    

Laters taters!


----------



## H&amp;P

LittleJenny said:


> Thanks for complimenting my personals especially since I have just noticed I missed you out!


 you didn't miss me out, I am in there along with everyone else, see you did that many that you just couldn't see it


----------



## IzziLu

Afternoon ladies,

Just a quickie from me as I'm supposed to be working 

Jal - congrats on being PUPO  looks like the gamble of going to blasts paid off   for the 2WW 

Swinny - great that you've been offered a possible doner and like the others said 28 and proven sounds very positive, have you heard anything more? 

Zuri - hope your scan went well today 

Heaps - poor Ted  hope he's better now and hope you're coping well   

RC - sorry you've had such a bad week  here's hoping this one's better 

Driver - can't believe AF still hasn't arrived, you just can't count on the witch when you need to can you?  

Purps - sounds like you've thought about the situation with dad long and hard and your approach is really positive, going with the flow can only be a good thing 

Nix - love your posts they always make me PMSL 

Malini, AnnaSb, Spuds, Nicki, everyone who had trouble coping with yesterday and all the many many others I know I've missed      

Afm - following my successful appt the other week when I told my less than positive consultant that I wasn't giving up and managed to change her mind in the process, I went for day 12 scan today (having had fsh done on day of consult) because I hadn't had any of the standard tests done since before my 1st tx. Fsh result was back - 7.9 and LH good too - nice juicy follie ready to pop and 5-6 antrals on right 4-5 antrals on left - lining 5.2mm so it really is only my appalling amh (<2 pmol) that is the blip. I don't get it, how can that be so bad when the rest looks so good and with so many antrals naturally how come I never get any decent eggs out of my numerous follies at stimms?    I'm now more confused than ever   Hoping my orange knicks will help  Rant over!

OOh not such a quickie after all - whoops!  

Love to you all

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Ourturn

Driver -  here's an AF dance for you        

Nix - xmas is a rough time.  

Mag - good luck with the hysteroscopy  

Anne  

Lainey - how are the lovely twins? 

Zuri - how was the scan?

RC - that's very sad  

Heaps & Jal      

Julie - welcome   You were not even on the max dose and maybe you suit a different stimm such as menapur. I always need the max dose, ie x6 amps

Izzi - amh is still a new tests and many places still look at fsh over amh!

LJ, Purps, Laura, Popsi, Beachey, Spuds, Nicki and anyone I've missed  :-

Just been to see my lovely gp as I have developed a very strange rash on my chest and arms. She thinks is an allergic reaction or stress related and has suggested piriton. She is going to sort it out so that the nurse at the surgery can draw my blood when I need to send it to Mr G. She said I was the flatest she had ever seen me and said she would happily sign me off work if I wanted her to. I asked about antid's and we both decided I would try and do without. She agreed that if we go for adoption it might hinder our chances. She was telling me about a girl who was devestated as she had been diagnosed with POF (she had been getting hot flushes) so I asked to to tell her about this site and DHEA which she will pass onto her. Also told her about hidden chlamydia and she had heard of it. Apparantely our local consultant is testing for it via uterine biopsy. The yuk test is much easier though. 

DH got some beautiful roses and a card from the doglet yesterday...a pic of a tiny black lab puppy saying 'from your baby boy' (I call him by baby boy, sad I know). He even bought him up to the bedroom (where he is not normally alllowed) for a cuddle. I then went to Shrewsbury and found a nice dress for my sisters wedding in Phase8. I was miserable at the start of the day but it did get better. 

MIL sent me an e-mail saying she was sorry ivf hadn't worked etc but that we had 'lots of time' .....eh hello I am 38 with a low ovarian reserve! She just doesn't get it. Sigh. 

'Flat' is a great way to describe me at the momemt. Sorry ladies hopefully I will perk up soon

Anna x


----------



## Jumanji

Izzilu - i would either ignore your amh or get it retested; it simply doesn't fit in with your good fsh and fab crop of antrals and i don't think it should be regarded as reliable given those contrary indicators.


----------



## IzziLu

Wot you mean new dress from Phase8 didn't do the trick mmmmmh Phase8     Joking aside, sorry to hear you're feeling so low Anna but glad you decided to avoid the antids, probably a good decision. Isn't your DH fab? mine would never have thought of that and no you're not sad I call my cats my baby girls too, actually maybe I'm sad too     MIL      Hope you're feeling better soon     

Thanks LJ, I was kinda wondering about getting AMH retested too but it was only done in Nov so wonder how much it would have changed?  I think you're right though it certainly doesn't tie in with the rest  

Gotta dash, off for reflex session - anything that might help!

 all

IzziLu xXx


----------



## H&amp;P

Anna (SB) -   hope the piriton does the trick on the rash  

Zuri - How was you follie scan?    

Heaps - Hope the 2WW is being kind to you    

Malini - was watching crufts on the TV and saw the chow place 2nd in it's group, thought of you and wandered if you had chosen your next dog


----------



## Malini

Hi all -

Sorry yesterday was tough for so many of us.  It just made me grumpy.  Like you Anna - I am flat.  My TCM herb man said that my heart pulse wasn't flat but a crater ... not mad, not angry - numb and flat.

Crufts was great except dh was moody at the start - he is so sad - but all the gorgeous Chows made up for it.  There were so many gorgeous dogs but we are unashamedly Chow people.  We didn't get another.  I know that I couldn't 'do' the puppy thing and find time to cycle and the energy to cope.  We'd need a bigger car and there are so many reasons and amazing how many of them are related to soddin' IF.

Driver - Love that you saw the Chow.  That's a very special dog that placed in the group, although the Akita that won it is gorgeous.  Our Leola has a beautiful Akita.  

LJ - You are great. Hope Monty and you will be able to get out more in the Spring soon. (If it ever comes!!!).

ASB - Big hug for you.  Your hubby's gifts via Benji sound so thoughtful.  My Charlie also got me a treat.  I call him baby boy all the time and refer to Dh as his dad and me as mum.  I find it therapeutic to use the words for us even though .... Tell us about your dress.  My dear friend got a rash from the steroids and another got a rash from the gestone.

Izzilu - What's your E2?  Sometime FSH can be supressed by a high E2 days 1-3.  That was the case for me and for years I got the 'don't worry your FSH is good' while my E2 was 3X what it should be!!!  Having said that the rest of your results sound fab.  So here's hoping the lab got your AMH wrong.  I have two results from two different labs about 6mos apart.

Nix - Howdy!  So excited for you for this cycle and hope I can host you and dh at some point during it.  We also offer an early morning chauffeur service to the ARGC 

Mag - Good g-d the British know how to serve a customer   That is so ridiculous.  I was once staying at a very expensive hotel in the Cotswalds on my own because I was being brave and attending a yoga weekend where I knew anyone (turned out my teacher who I knew well surprised me with a 'guess what I am 5 mos' and I had booked the weekend to get over a BFN so left in tears and went antique shopping for two days).  Anyhow first morning in the hotel I went into one of the breakfast room a sat at a table for two when the maitre d came charging in and said, 'Oh no we've set a table for one in the other room - completely empty at this point - and ushered me in there!).  I was so mad, and then hurt....

Howdy Anne.  Laughin' about your sore head post you and Kate.  Not only can I picture you two, I can hear the giggles.    

That's me all out for today.  Thinking of you all.

M xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - My 1st mc hit dh really badly and his reaction made me feel even worse. He has since become more stoic and I think worries about me seeing him upset. Crufts sounds wonderful. If I went I would spend a fortune on toys for Benj! Seriously thinking about a puppy.....we shouldn't really but its so tempting and would be good for Benji. Let me know if you go next year and we can meet up. Did you take Charlie? 
My accu is winding me up at the moment, her advice is 'forget about IF and enjoy life' how can I enjoy life when I am surrounded by babies and bumps reminding me of what I have lost and don't have? 

Dress is here.....If you zoom in the at the waist you can see its very flattering (which is what I need). I will team it with a black shrug, oversized ivory pearls (to disguise the overly high neck), black shoes and ivory 50's style coat. DH really likes it but I do need to lose at least half a stone and wear control pants! I have 6 weeks.
http://www.phase-eight.co.uk/fcp/product/fashion/Dresses/Savoy-Dress/200954731?colour=red

When do you go away?

Anna x

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## laurab

Anna/ Mal - Sorry you are feeling so sad.  wish i knew hat to say/ do.   

Purps - You don;t need to come on here to justify your feeling towards your dad/ his media coverage.  Ho you feel is how you feel and none of us know all the details.  

Zuri - News please?

Heaps - You stocked up on pee sticks yet?  

LJ - I love your posts.... I can catch up on everything in a few mins! I really don't know how you do it! hows you? Monty?

Izzy - Great Andral Count.  


driver - Hows you chickie?

I've just baked a banaa loaf.... it looks very odd! I don't really like banana anyway...


----------



## Malini

ohhh ASB, it is beautiful and especially with your complexion.  You'll look so elegant.  It sounds very smart what you plan to ensemble it with also and I believe in spanx!!! So much of the weight you've gained will be steroid induced, so quicker to work off.  The bloating is already going a bit for me.  I wish I had followed your advice about salt more closely. Crufts is a date but I imagine you'll want to go on the gundog day ...but I could go twice.  It was nice to answer the question, 'Do you have a dog?' with a yes!!!  We spent a fortune on a new bed, a dryer (Charlie hates the rain), nutritional stuff, worming and flea supplies and got lots of info about nifty door entry systems as Charlie likes to be in and out all day.  We didn't take him because you can only bring a dog if they have been shown, or so I was told.  He would have hated it as all those dogs would have made him want to play and they were all looking so grand their owners would have been horrified.  Let's put a Friday in the calendar once I am back.  I so want to give you this   in person.  We go on Sunday and are back the following Monday.  Short but so, so needed.

 this is for your acupuncturist.  You really don't need any advice at the moment.

Interesting about your dh.  Mine is really in bits.  Worse than me but he was better about the BFNs.  All of this is difficult.

Laura - Does your banana loaf taste good?  That's all that matters. You don't have to say anything - being a friend helps. 

Zuri - Hope it was good news.  

For you Heaps    and you too Jal  , congrats on being PUPO.

M xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Malini - Benj would have been the same....he sees another dog and just wants to play..I'm sure he and charlie will get on like a house on fire! My gp noticed my moon face  , Really hope it has gone by the wedding. I wish I had followed my own advice re salt too! 
Don't get me wrong dh was really upset about this tx, angry even but seems to have moved on quite quickly. A mc after seeing a heartbeat is even worse. Your hopes are raised only to be snatched away. I didn't know how we would get through it or carry on, but we did  
Really hope you both find this holiday restorative. Give us a shout when you are back and we will get a Friday in the diary.

x


----------



## Han72

oh so this fat face of mine is cos of my pred related salt addiction @rse!

Malini - Crufts sounds faaab darling, bless Charlie but you're right he probably would have gone totally mental with all those other dogs to play with! Love the taxi service idea, thanks lovey, I may yet take you up on it!   Are you counting down the days to your fab holiday  

Dinna -  that dress looks GORGEOUS!!!  Flat schmlat can we have a virtual p155 up tonight, I feel the urge to get heinously drunk... 

Hewo Laura  PMSL at the weird looking  loaf why don't you post a pic  You sound like me, I don't like nana's either but I can just about manage em in a cake or a smoothie 

Did I tell you all how much I hate the pill  I actually want to hurt people, patience at an all time low and can't get my act together to pack my stuff   We're off to Aix en Provence to visit the outlaws on Thursday, we get back on Sunday then Monday I'm off to Blighty to begin the great IVF rollercoaster ride and I can't figure out how to organise myself packing wise   I'm really panicking for no good reason that I can fathom... Pass the valium!!!!


----------



## mag108

thks Nix
Wish you were there to sort them out. I seem to be a permanent grump these days but then things like that happen and I think now wonder!
Are you on the pill! Me too! Lets see how psychotic it makes me this time!

Hysteroscopy is on NHS

good news Izzilu! thats a fab fsh and fab follie count

Driver: sex?

Sobroody: god its no wonder you are flat, its the come down after to build up and the disappointment. You will get your spirit back, for now, indulge.
Sorry to hear about the rash. (good for you avoiding the anti d's, I am trying to do so myself). Interesting about the consultant and the biospy.

PS I am liking that dress!

(i have excezma on my chest, now me thinks THAT is stress, work getting on my tits etc)

Mal: gawd how tactless! They know how to rub salt in wounds for sure!


xxx to everyone


----------



## Züri

Hi girls

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply with news, had scan this morning at 10 am - my mums here so she came with me and we went straight shopping afterwards and have only just got back!   7 hour plus shopping! poor feet and poor wallet but pure fun 

Scan went well - compared to the same scan this time last IVF I have double follicles - not sure if it's the different drugs, the fact it's not so soon after my laparoscopy or the weight loss but whatever it is it has worked a treat

so another scan on Wednesday and EC likely on Saturday or Sunday - last time i stimmed for 13 days this time i am stimming for either 9 or 10 days 

anyway thanks for asking after me girls, the support from you all is wonderful  x

Sorry no more personals got to cook tea now for a very exhausted hungry mum  

xx


----------



## Rural Chick

Evening lovely ladies

LJ - what amazing persos, as always      How are you and Monty? Do you have any more piccies for us?    

Driver - hope the funeral went as well as they can.    White trousers? I don't remember the DHEA making my cycles any longer.

Anne - sorry you found yesterday tough - next year will be so different.    I can't believe Shorty is blaming you for her hangover - sounds like you had a whale of a time.  

Mag - sorry you have to go back to Athens, but I bet you and Swinny have a great time. Sorry about the idiot in the cafe     but glad the rest of the weekend was great    

Nix - hope Eurostar played ball this time - can't believe you're about to start again.     at the fat face comment. Why not forget to pack loads of stuff so you then have an excuse to buy new clothes!!!    

Izzilu - your AMH result doesn't seem to tie in with what the scan showed, so why not ignore it - you can see from Mir and others that it doesn't necessarily mean anything anyway.   

AnnaSB - it's hardly surprising that you feel flat at the moment.     I love your new dress and know you'll look fab - I bet you won't need control pants either.   

Malini - glad you enjoyed Crufts and are planning next year's visit already. I love the idea of a drier for Charlie - I'm sure he'll appreciate it.   

Laura - I bet the Chippers didn't care what the banana loaf looked like - I bet it tasted yummy scrummy   

Zuri -       for your follies and          that they all have lovely juicy eggies growing in them.   

Love and          to everyone

**** sy **** sy xxxx


----------



## laurab

Zuri - Horah for lots of follies.... make sure your drinking lots.    

As for te Narna cake its yum actually.  Just  bit flat.... same thing happened to my blueberry muffins.... any tips?

Oh dinner just arrived...


----------



## Rural Chick

Laura- so long as they taste yummy, that's the important bit - I love blueberry muffins


----------



## beachgirl

Evening...just wanted to say that I'm thinking of everyone...just having 5 mins before heading up to bed...


----------



## Rural Chick

Sleep well Beachy - I won't be far behind you


----------



## Spuds

Very quick one from spuds to say am alive but flat out re move to Jersey !!

Normal service will reconvene - watch this space 

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## fluffy jumper

RC.  I am so sorry to hear about your friend, that is just awful.  You are right, life can be incredibly unfair.  

Malini.  Sometimes it can be even harder to watch our DH upset than it is to be upset ourselves.   for your DH. 

Anna.  Sorry to hear about your rash.  I am glad you have such a supportive GP.  It is understandable that you are feeling flat.  I hope the flatness lifts a bit soon.  I think you are right to try and do without the Anti Ds as there is a real reason for your flatness and pills won't make that go away.  That said, if you don't feel better in time then there is nothing wrong with you if you change your mind.
I didn't want to hear that salt and pred don't go well together.  I love salt and eat far too much of it.  I will have to give up my daily packet of salt and balsamic vinegar kettle chips.
I love your new dress.  I swear by marks and spencer all in one underwear, the ones that are a bit like the 1980's body.  The control pants just make the fat come out the top  

Mag.  I hope your trip to Athens with Swinny goes well.  Excuse my ignorance but how do they tell whether LIT has worked or not and whether you need more?

Laura, I am baking too.  Lemon Drizzle.  I have a new guy started at work  and he and I have moved to a deathly quiet part of the office so I thought I would make a cake to encourage staff to come and introduce themselves.  I then thought maybe everyone will come and there won't be enough so I have made 4, I don't know how I am going to carry them all to work tomorrow!

Anne, I am glad you and shortie had a good night out. 

LJ.  I hope you and Monty are both well.

Nix.  Do you think you will have time for a small meet up when you are in London?  Or does the ARGC take up all of your time?

Zuri, great news that this cycle is going well for you.  Keep us posted on EC and ET

Jal.  Good luck on the 2ww  

Driver.  Go out wearing white jeans and take no sanitary items, then jump up and down then have sex - that ought to do it  

Izzilu.  Hi

I am sure I have missed someone, if so, sorry.


----------



## laurab

Spuds - You never got back to me about your annexe for me and the chippers??

Tracey - Lemon Drizzle is my favourite cake in the whole world... If I worked with you I'd be sitting on your lap all day munching! Sure your plan will work and your quiet end will be the buzzy end of office very soon.  


Rc - I can't see whats up with your friend.... am i just being  . Hope your ok whatever it is.  
XX


----------



## Ourturn

Zuri - a nurse told me to avoid salt when taking pred as its the salt that causes the water retention that gives you a moon face. Problem is I find unseasoned food sooo bland! 

laura - re flat muffins. Did you put enough batter in each individual tin? Was the oven at the right temp? Finally did you measure out the ingredients correctly. Thing with baking is you need to be exact.

Zuri - congrats on a great scan! When's ec?

Mag - eczma is definately stress related...I get a little on my hands. Good luck with the hysteroscopy. What a mare re ba. I am nervous about booking with them next month. Re the antid's I take so may drugs due to my immunes I really don't want to add more drugs into the mix.

Tracey - need to get one of those all in one jobies....you are right about the pants...give me a flat tummy but a very unatrractive muffin top! Yup you need to give up the salt...or at least try and cut right down.

Glad you all like the dress 

For anyone looking for nice caffine free drinks...went to Whittards and bought some lovely herbal and green teas. Not sure if they tase to nice because they are loose leaf, but I'm so impressed....I went for the new fruit one, cherry and orange & cinamon....yum! Also tried the mango flavoured green tea and its delicious. I know green tea is not caffine free but the caffine content is pretty low and the benefits are supposed to be great.
Cooked a very healthy chicken cassorole for tea, prepared fresh fruit salad and vietnamese chicken noodle soup (fat free) to take into work tomorrow. Being healthy is hard work! 

Night all 

x


----------



## Lilly7

Evening Everyone,

Julie, sorry you've been having a hard time of it. I had my last cycle cancelled with only 1 follie and know well how upsetting it is.    The good news is that you've found your way to this thread and some very wise and helpful ladies. x

Purple, I'm glad your feeling better about the situation with your Pa. Your plan to try to deal with it as and when sounds good. x

Hi RC.  

Nice to see you LJ.  

Driver, in light of the new car probs, I'm again imobile. Will keep you posted and am looking forwards to meeting up soon after I'm on the road again. I'll keep you posted. Could you take Provera for AF?
  that she comes soon for you. 

Mag, sorry that you had that situation in the cafe.  

Hi Nix, How exciting that you'll be starting tx so soon! I know what you mean about the pill. I have to start it in the next week and am dreading the effects. 

Malini,   I'm glad to hear there was a gorgeous Akita on show at Crufts! (I've just emailed you). x

AnnaSB, That's a gorgeous dress! I'm glad to hear you have such a considerate DH. My DP forgot my Birthday this year  .

Zuri,    

Hi Anne, Izzilu, Laura, Beachy, Spuds, and anyone else I've missed. 

AFM, I had my follow up appt today and my consultant has finally agreed to trying me on the pill to see if my cyst will disappear. 
On top of me being a PR, DP has severe sperm issues and very very high FSH. As it's been over a year since he had his trial TESE, there's a risk that even if I get to EC they may not get sperm from him. My consultant has unexpectedly agreed to let us have donor sperm as back up     . . . if we're lucky enough to get to EC . . and this on my NHS go at a NHS clinic! I'm very surprised as I was under the impression there was a long waiting list for donor sperm.
They won't agree to the Jinni Protocol as they say that Letrozole isn't licenced for fertility in the UK . . andthey won't go over 300 IU Menopur (Jinni would have done 375) but other than that my consultant seems to think that the protocols are similar . . 
I'm just     to actually get to EC for a change!

Love to everyone. xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - just a thought. Get the consultant to take a sample of your uterine lining when you have the hysteroscopy. You can then send or take the sample to Penny and she can test for hidden C via that! 

Leola - sounds quite foward thinking for an nhs consultant! Can't believe your dh forgot your b-day!


----------



## Lilly7

RC, I just read back . . Im so sorry to hear about your friend.


----------



## Lilly7

Anna, 2 of the consultants at my clinic are actually very good . . 1 is apparently world famous and travels all over  lecturing and advising . . it's just a shame he's not in the clinic on a daily basis to oversee my tx. Instead it's mostly the nurses which isn't great if you happen to be a complicated case.
I also can hardly believe I'm with a man who forgot my B-day.  

How's it going with the Beetroot juice?


----------



## fluffy jumper

leola, I hope DH got you a fab present to make up for it when you told him he had forgotten your birthday.  I'm glad you have a back up plan for your next tx.
It is annoying when you only see nurses isn't it. My cycle at Guys (I paid) I saw a Dr for the first consult then not again until EC.

Purple, I can't believe I missed you off my last post.  I'm glad your scan went well, tell us more.   I can't remember who you were taking with you?

Off to bed in a minute, leaving DH playing his x box.  He is sitting there with massive headphones on talking to people on the internet who he is playing with.  I have set him a timer for an hour so this time he doesn't forget to come to bed.  I know we talked about this before, but I don't know why it bothers me that he plays computer games when I can spent hours on ff.  

Night night


----------



## mag108

Hi Anna
Thanks yeh I am going to try that. Its NHS so not sure if he'll buy it!
X


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - found out today that my nhs consultant is testing for hidden C via uterine biopsies! Just ask him to take a small sample whilst he's in there! 

Leola - need to start drinking the juice again

x


----------



## Spuds

Laura 

Always room for you and the Chippers xxxx

Spuds
xxx


----------



## purple72

Hello ladies,

Well I'll attempt a few personals but just so tired at the moment lot's of trips with work

Laura hunny so sorry that you're feeling so isolated   I pass notts often too so maybe i'll pop in when you're there!

Pops sorry you have such a sore back take care of yourself hunny and enjoy your daughter xxx

Tracey, no advice on comp junkies I'm afraid my DH is an angel in that department, he's never been into that! Glad your home safe. I took my mum for scan and it was just wonderful x Mmm lemon drizzle how nice 

Jersey good luck with the move hunny  

Jal Pupo lady good luck on the 2ww

AnnaSB    you seem to be doing so much research! hat's off to you x

Mag's always worth an ask!  Sorry your having so much hassle at the moment that woman in cafe needs   

LJ as always queen of the personals! How's Monty doing? xxx

Leola, wow you're getting good NHS care! well done  fingers crossed it works well. 

RC so sorry to hear about your friend   hope the tiredness is easing?

Driver praying for AF for you xxx

Nix fingers crossed for your cycle, and hope you got your train sorted! not long now

Pix Anne beach and Ally thinking of you ladies xx

Mal your dog looks so cute I bet he gives the best cuddles xxxx

Izzilu  

Steph and mir how are your bundles doing?

Oh run out of steam now ladies so sorry for all I have missed doesn't mean I'm not thinking of ya, just that my brain has limited capacity at mo xxxxx


----------



## Little Me

Morning all  

Anna- Love the dress hun, sorry about the rash  
Bless Benji- I too had cards and pressies from my puss cats  

Nix- Hi love, I too HATE the pill   
Feel fine today ta hun.........well, apart from the B I T C H being due       

AM- Any B I T C H for you hun?  

Tracey- How was the trip?  

Good luck Spudulike  

Pops- get better hun  

Mal  

Hi Heaps


----------



## Little Me

Well, I now have 2 ladies to choose from for my donor girls- they are both similar in age 23, 24 both hazle eyes, dark brown hair and students- similar weight and height and both got their ladies preggers so, got a couple of Q's to be answered by clinic then we will choose    

Love to all
xxxxxxxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Anne - that's fab news, I ended up asking the clinic to choose for me, I asked which one facially looked the most similar (they were both same hair and eye colour, similar height and skinnier than me, though I probably weighed the same as they do at their age  ) and they said that one was a closer match so went with that.....

No witch for me yet, day 31 today   , my acu lady put pins in places to try to get her to show her face this morning so we will see what effect that has.... I have emailed Cyprus to ask if it will cause an issue with our donors cycle but no response as yet  

Heaps -    

Nix - your cycle seems to have come round quickly    

Laura - banana bread is one of DH's favourites, not doen any baking for a while must have another go at some of the failed recipes I tried at Xmas  

Tracey - I love lemon drizzle cake too, any left overs for us  

Zuri - fab news on scan    

Jersey - glad the move went ok, when can we all come to visit?  

Anna(SB) - Have the piriton kicked in yet? That dress is gorgeous.  

AOC - R you still reading? Hope the writing is going well  

Mag & Swinny - Hope your trip to Athens goes smoothly  

RC -  

Leola - Glad your follow up went well, sounds like you have a good clinic there, are you at Care in Sheffield? No worries on the car frontm everything has been a bit frantic here anyway so we will do coffee one day soon, maybe Beachie can come and join us too.


----------



## Ourturn

Anne - how exciting! I like Driver's suggestion re getting them to pick one who looks most like you! 

Driver - piriton has done nothing for the rash (just made me feel sleepy)..if anything its worse. I have a feeling its viral as its not itchy (gp said it could be viral if not itchy).  

Someone bought in cupcakes for their birthday at work. How much self control did I have? None whatsoever! 

Anna x


----------



## Little Me

AM & Anna - Yep, I did reply last night tp say which one would they suggest as being a better facial match.
Just waiting to hear back
AM- Do you have the actual name of anyone  (apart from Romina) at the Dogus?
xx


----------



## Ourturn

Anne, Driver - what's this new law they have been talking about on the jinamed board? 
Will you only be able to have a maximum of x3 embies transferred in Cyprus? 
If this is the case I am steering towards Serum in Athens for DE. 
a they have a lots of polish ladies who are egg donors (great to have an ethnic match.
b they still seem to be transferring x3 embies 
c they seem to have an understanding of immunes
e Penny's english seems to be excellent. 
I am just trying to find out about the success rates.

Anna x


----------



## H&amp;P

Anne G said:


> AM- Do you have the actual name of anyone (apart from Romina) at the Dogus?
> xx


 I am emailing Ugur on [email protected]

Anna - I don't know about the new law, did try to google it but couldn't find anything, I saw someone writing it was about how many embryo's you can transfer but DH is adamant we were only having 2 anyway so won't affect us.

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Little Me

Anna - not been on Jin thread so not too sure

ta AM
oooo, just had an email now from them............


----------



## Jumanji

Izzilu - what I am really wondering is whether your AMH is a lab error. The AMH test is pretty hard to do (see the last question on the list in the below link) and an error is entirely possible, especially given that it doesn't fit in with your other results, assuming, as Malini says, your oestrogen level is ok. It might be worth a repeat test just to check it. It seems to me that your docs are honing in on your AMH as the "reason" for your cycles not working out and they are placing a lot of emphasis on it, presumably because everything else is fine. If a repeat test revealed your AMH was actually better than they thought then it might just make them look at other things! As I said, the AMH test is pretty hard and, since it is also relatively new, labs are not necessarily that experienced at it. Hence the chances of an error in this test are much higher than with say FSH which is an easy test which labs have done frequently for years.

http://fertilicare.org/faqbase/?cat=7

Sobroody Anna - sorry about your rash; I hope you are ok and I wouldn't be surprised if it were stress related especially since you are feeling so low. I do hope you feel better soon. Sorry your acupuncturist saw fit to make such an unhelpful remark.  Why is that considered ok when it comes to IF, which is considered to be as stressful as cancer? I'll bet she'd never say to someone "oh just forget about the fact you have cancer and enjoy life". Your cooking skills never cease to amaze me!

Driver - I watched Crufts on TV too but it is much better live! Glad you got a donor sorted.

Malini - glad you had a nice day at Crufts. I saw that the chow came second too. They are so cute - like cuddly lion cubs!

Nix - we are also excited for your upcoming cycle and so hope it is your time.    Sorry the pill has such a grim effect though.

Anne - glad you had a good night out with Kate. Sorry you had another rough mother's day  but good that you are dorting out donors.

Laura - I am so impressed with your baking! I love banana loaf! 

Mag - sorry you had the bad cafe experience.  Why does mother's day suddenly warrant a separate room?

Zuri - you are the follie queen then!! Many congrats! Hope the cycle continues to go well.   

RC - hello there! 

Beachy - hello! 

Spuds - hope the move goes well.

Tracey - hello! 

Leola - great that the NHS agrees to donor sperm but it always annoys me about the 300 dose ; private clinics habitually go much higher than that; many have 225 as a starting dose!! I suppose the consultants' hands are just tied by what the NHS is allowed to do.

Purple - I'm sure your brain capacity is just fine; or has the baby brain kicked in already? 

Heaps - so glad you and your mum found the rings; it must have been so upsetting to lose them.

Love to everyone else.

Thanks everyone for asking about the Monster. He is doing very well - always has smiles for his Daddy except in the evening when he bawls for me to give him his settling down cuddle!

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Little Me

Seems I have my lady girls xx


----------



## Züri

Anne so excited for you!!! xxxx

Girls Purple let you know about Pam and her many follicles the other week - sadly they collected 7 from the not so good ovary that wasn't showing as many on the scans and the ovary with lots of follicles was hidden behind her uterus and they couldn't get to it - there were 7 to 8 good sized ones on that ovary

Of the 7 collected only 2 were mature and both didn't fertilise 

Feel so gutted for her especially after she was responding so well this time as she wasn't crash dieting as per all the other poor response cycles

Just thought i'd let you know as I know she doesn't post on here anymore but I know you girls would care about how she is getting on

;(

makes me think I wont be counting my eggs before they hatch! (does that metaphor make sense?  - whatever it's apt 

xx


----------



## Little Me

Thanks Z xxx

yes, I just put a quick post to Pam on Lister bless her 
xxx


----------



## fluffy jumper

Anne, that is so exciting.  Or is it just plain scary for you right now?

I Ov'd on day 16 this month and then AF is here now on day 27.  I do like my CBFM.  I just hope I ov this month so I can have BMS at the right time.  Last month I was in W Africa when I ovd.

No time for anymore I'm afraid.


----------



## Little Me

Tracey- I feel excited and very grateful to her. I feel 1000% better than I thought I would hun, thanks


----------



## SiobhanG

Hi All,

I have been away for  a few days so only got a chance to check all the posts today.

Driver just wanted to say - my AF is late as well - day 30 today! - Thinking it could be the DHEA perhaps?....last month it was 24 days....Are you getting any AF pains? I've been getting them on/off for last week or so.


----------



## IzziLu

Afternoon all,

Oooh Anne, how exciting, decision made and full steam ahead and you're sounding really positive about it too, fantastic   

LJ - thank you, thank you, thank you, that makes so much sense, now just need to convince the clinic to retest  

Malini - I don't think I've had E2 done as far as I'm aware so better get that checked out too, thank you so much for taking the time to care about other people's woes when you're going through such a tough time yourself - roll on your well deserved holiday and glad Crufts served as a bit of a distraction  

Zuri - fab news on your scan results, lets hope those follies have got lots of lovely juicy eggies    

Anna - adoring that dress its fab and you'll look wonderful from your description of the full ensemble, btw if you're a tea addict but going caffeine free have you tried redbush/roibus yet?  It takes a bit of getting used to at first as it's very slightly scented but is naturally caffeine free and full of antioxidants.  I've been on it since Xmas and drink it in exactly the same way as ordinary tea (except needs less sugar - another bonus!) - now ordinary tea tastes a bit odd!  

Laura - my DH goes mad for banana loaf but I'm with you on the lemon drizzle all the way  

Tracey - mmmmmmmmh lemon drizzle - lucky colleagues!  

Driver - doing a little Af dance for you and hoping the pins helped - it's kinda wierd wishing   on anyone but when needs must!  

Heaps and Jal    

Purps, Leola, Mag, Swinny, Spuds, Nicki, RC and everyone else    

IzziLu xXx


----------



## H&amp;P

SiobhanG said:


> Driver just wanted to say - my AF is late as well - day 30 today! - Thinking it could be the DHEA perhaps?....last month it was 24 days....Are you getting any AF pains? I've been getting them on/off for last week or so.


think our cycles have synced as I was 23 days last month and on day 31 today.....yes had a few AF type pains...have to confess to holding a hope that they might have been stretching pains as I was so convinced on numerous occassions that the witch was here as they felt like my usual period pains....but mr Clearblue dashed those hopes well and truly   I am wondering if it is a mixture of the DHEA and Agnus Castus (in fact not taking the AC today and might take a high dose of vitamin C as I have been doing some googling and that is one of the things that can supposably help )

Anne - well done on making your choice


----------



## SiobhanG

Driver - yes I too am having a secret hope. In fact you're braver than me doing a test. I think I'll just keep my head in the sand for a little while longer! 

When your AF arrives, mine probably won't be far behind.


----------



## H&amp;P

Siobhan - Only reason I tested was as I knew I would be having a drink last night after going to a funeral   maybe you will be the lucky one with a test that works  , how can you resist.  

Right had the day from hell at work so off home (early for me)and planning on downing at least a bottle of wine, so can someone be ready with the paracetamol in the morning please


----------



## Ourturn

Driver - how about taking progesterone for 2 weeks to bring on af? Do you have time to do this? 

Anne - great news hun!  

Izzi - thanks. I like clipper decaff. Have a redbush with orange and cinamon to try from whittards

Hi Zuri, LJ & Siobhan

Need to hit the road home 

x


----------



## SiobhanG

Driver - I,m fairly certain I'm not - (and in fact I've just had a glass of wine with a meal!) 
Anyway, lets hope AF comes soon for both of us. As somebody said earlier, half the time we are wishing her away and the other half begging her to come - In fact, I wish sometimes people could go to the loo for me, as every visit these days is fraught with bloody tension!


----------



## Kittycat104

Haven't been around for a couple of days so will do my best to catch up

Julie - I was at Guys for my first cycle.  I found them pretty inflexible and unhelpful, so changed.  Maybe a different clinic could be better for you too.  Have you had your AMH tested?

RC - so sorry to hear about your friend, that must be hard to handle

LJ - wow!  Super post.  Thank you for your kind words about my leaving it too late.  Has your cold gone in this lovely spring sunshine?

Driver - I have taken AC in the past and found it messed with my cycle.  I am not taking it at the moment.  The DHEA made my cycle a lot shorter this month - 20 days versus my usual 28-30 days.  Maybe it is having the opposite effect with you?

Mag - seriously, how awful was that woman who shouted at you.  Its so unbelievable it actually made me laugh in disbelief - I could picture a mad lady shouting across the pub at you.  Were you tempted to punch her?  Lucky she didn't encounter me in my DHEA induced rage.

Izzlu - impressive follies!  What happens next?  Are you cycling again soon?

Laura - I am in awe.  How do you get time to post on here, on ** AND do baking?

Nix - Enjoy Aix.  We were there in September last year on our post IVF failure holiday.  Ate and drank lots to compensate and Aix is a good place to do that!

Zuri - so pleased scan went well - what drugs are you on this time?

Tracey - I wish my colleagues would come to work armed with Lemon Drizzle cake.  I would definitely want to sit nearer to them.

Leola - what is Letrozole supposed to do? Am I missing out on a top new drug?

Jersey - hope move is OK.  We have moved three times in last three years - its grotty isn't it, surrounded by boxes and mess

Heaps  -  

Anne - glad the donor is finalised and you feel comfortable about it

Anna - it seems to be a bit of a mystery about the new Turkey law.  Will be interested in your research on Serum

Siobhan - you made me LOL with your loo comment

Malini - I wasn't sure what a Chow looked like, so have just googled.  And soooo cute!  Are you on **?  Do you have photos?

Sorry to anyone I have missed xx

AFM - have decided to have cycle tracking this month to try and establish what is happening with my late ovulation.  Think there probably isn;t a lot of point doing any more tx until I have ruled that out as a problem.  Dr seemed to think it might just be a case of increasing the clexane, but will at least give me some peace of mind to find out what is happening.  First scan booked on Monday.  Start new job Monday after, so could be a bit of a nightmare to juggle the two, as really don't feel I can tell new boss about IF in the first week!

Louise xx


----------



## Spuds

Evening Girls n RH 

So sorry - flat out sorting house out and move to Jersey Monday    - have been having a mixed bag time of fealing v.low - it has hit dh more than me this time I think - then really high/excited/scared about the move - then a real panic and palpitations when I think of what has happended - stupid negative stuff goes on then I seem to be numb/disinterested - so flippin weird and so much change going on - all really emotional saying goodbyes etc - also - bl**dy tenants let us down today - could have been done for GBH !!!!

bL**DY hell - sorry for major rant pants !!!

RC - so touched by your posts love - it is really unfair but somehow we pick ourselves up - dust ourselves down - and start all over again  - hope your bump is blooming - cant wait to meet em    

Mal -  thinking of you hun all the time   

tO BE CONTD !!


----------



## Spuds

Why oh Why wont stupid computer let me post long posts grhhhhhh    

Heaps - best of luck lovey - sending loads of      

Anne - How Exciting !!!!! - you must be really close to txt now ? So pleased you n shortie had a good few JD;s lol xxxxx

Jal - hows it going ?

PamLS - am gobsmacked honey - will pm you and be over soon to give you a proper one of these    from me and all the girls   

Purps - hope you are doing ok xxx

Nix - ello ello - all aboard for the rollercoaster express - with you all the way honey xxxxxxxxx     

LJ XXXXX - How do u do your posts xxxxxxx

Ok its playing up again ahhhhhh !!!

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## Malini

Spuds - Moving is likely one of the most stressful experiences you'll have and add that to a recent BFN and it is no wonder you're all over the shop. Just focus on your 'to do' lists and forgive yourself for all and any mishaps. Wish there was something practical I could do but if you need help with tenants at any point let me know.

Lou - I am on **. And Chows are my weakness; there are photos on there. He isn't as cuddly as he looks because he thinks he is a Lord and gets warm so won't allow anyone to inavde his space. Funny! Hope you're ok.

Tracey - Does your dh video game and watch football? How did cake strategy go? Dh appreciates his hug from you 

Fingers falling off from too much BB. So I'll be back later on normal computer. Hope everyone has an ok morning.

Malini xxx


----------



## Little Me

heaps-   

Spuds-    

AM- How's the hangover love?    

Well, I decided to use cyclogest this month from day 16 as I had it left from my last cycle   and thought, sod it, I may as well- not that I have a short leutal phase (which I believe it helps) but more like, oh well, it can't do any harm and you never know.
I'm on day 29 today with no sign of period....on closer investigation, I found out it can cause a delay in AF so I'm sure the b itch will be here again soon. 

Hope all ok
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Heaps said:


> Siobhan and Driver here is an AF dance for you both.....
> 
> Who is the one with the great AF dancers....?


it's me, maybe I should do myself one 

Anne -   , cyclogest delayed mine when I used them on a natural cycle, in fact I think from what I read you are supposed to do a PG test (when you know you are way passed the 14 days from OV) and then stop taking them or AF might not come at all. I will continue to hope they have worked for you    I had numerous vodka & ginger beer last night, fell asleep on the sofa at 9:30 (started drinking at 6:30) and feel fine this morning, in fact think I might go and treat myself to a bacon buttie 

Heaps -   

Jersey -  to packing, I hate moving house, I once moved house, changed jobs and got married in the space of 3 weekends...... arghhhhhhhhh


----------



## Little Me

AM- don't thik I can face doing a test- last night was my 13th cyclogest so I'll stop there
xx


----------



## H&amp;P

Anne G said:


> AM- don't thik I can face doing a test- last night was my 13th cyclogest so I'll stop there
> xx


but your not supoposed to stop if you are PG........


----------



## Little Me

I know, I was thinking that  , well if no b itch today then I guess I need to test tomorrow


----------



## laurab

Fingers crossed Anne!

I am here and reading just struggling to find time to do any decent personals... sorry.


----------



## H&amp;P

laurab said:


> I am here and reading just struggling to find time to do any decent personals... sorry.


I'm amazed you manage to find time to read at all, and your personals are usually fab  just seeing the pictures of the chippers always bring a  to my face.


----------



## laurab

thanks driver hon.   I turning into a lurker!


----------



## Malini

Ahh Heaps, it is agony.    

And Driver and Siobhan, beggin' and pleadin' on your behalf that AF does what she should - either arrives on schedule or stays away and gives you a lovely surprise but not dilly dallying and causing torturous thoughts!!!

izzilu - You're welcome.  Hope your E2 comes back as great and you can tell your clinic that a low AMH means less eggs, but not bad ones so they need to find a protocol that works for you.

Anne - So excited about your match.

Laura - I don't have time for personals and my life, and I have a dog but otherwise no other responsibilities, you are a marvel.  I second what Driver wrote.

Mad and cursing today.  Holiday is needed but found out yesterday that our lovely secluded villa was a figment of my imagination bc hotel cannot fit in our booking and we've been slotted into a superb room but not quite as private.  I am gutted because I feel fat and miserable (I realise this is mostly my impression of myself and not a reality) and want to hide.  We are trying to rectify this and I should be grateful that I can have a holiday at all.  But quite frankly if I could have my pregnancy back I would never go on holiday again easily.  So as my CBT therapist would tell me I am suffering once again from Low Frustration Tolerance and feel like   this to someone although no one is to blame. 

My sensible angel is telling me to "Get a Grip" and I will spend the rest of the day trying to do just that.    Off to pay the bill for the Histology of my embryo that was almost a fetus.  Grrr. 

M xxx


----------



## Little Me

Mal- you are beautiful both inside and out


----------



## nicki70

Hi Girls  

Have been reading but haven't posted since my BFN, trying to decide what to do next.

Anyway, have got my GP to refer me to The Lister, my first choice, & also to Woking Nuffields which is just up the road from me, have very good results too & have already been told by them I should do very well on a shorter protocol.  So am planning on visiting both & making a decision.  DH is keen on Woking as it's so close but I just feel as this will probably be our last go (in the UK) let's go for the best! Also getting GP to do all my bloods again - haven't had FSH tested in over a year!

Have been feeling so flat & friends reaction to my BFN have been 'o well' or ' you didn't like the clinic anyway' Ahhhhh.....

Spuds - How are you?  Good luck with the move!

Anne - Must be a good feeling to have found your match, Good luck!

Malini - Hope you have a lovely break, sorry there's been a mix up with the villa, hope you can sort it soon.

Sorry for lack of personals, I need to have a long read back!



Nicki xx


----------



## Malini

Thanks Anne  .  I'll bet your match is a beauty if they say she's most like you  .  

Just wish I could shift this bump that is too physical a reminder for me but I know it will go and likely no one cares or will notice.  All in my head.  Have two weddings this summer and the latter is a beautiful people event full of posh snobs at a member's club and I was so excited about being HUGE and not caring!!  Sorry, I am all 'woe is me' today, back to the 'get a grip' campaign!

RC - I have been meaning to say that I am so sorry about the loss of your friend.  That's such an awful thing to go through and I feel for all who loved this special person who went away too soon.

Thanks Nicki - I am being ever so slightly pathetic, I do realise!  Warning re Woking.  I know two people who were treated there and one was a normal responder and has lovely twins and one is a PR and they messed her about, and she ended up at the Lister and is happier there.  But I do know the counsellor at Woking is supposed to be lovely.


M xxx


----------



## laurab

Mal - You really do not need to get a grip. I think I have LFT too about not being able to make you feel better. I so wish I could, but as they say in time it will all be less painful.  I think 'woe is me' is absolutely understandable.  And you will look gorgeous at the wedding as you always do.  

Nickki - I have to say being close to a good clinic is a def plus.  If they are happy to do the protocol you want and will do EC when you need it (not when you can be fitted in mon-fri) then I would prob go for that... travelling is stresful.


----------



## IzziLu

Blimey Anne, wouldn't that be a turn up for the books?   Keeping everything crossed for you    

Morning all, at home feeling a bit sorry for myself today   been struck with the curse that is cystitis and beating a well worn path between the bed and the loo   Any one else a sufferer?

Heaps - so sorry you're feeling rubbish, good luck with the bloods     Hope you're feeling a little bit excited if understandably anxious? Anyway surely a grade 1 embie is exactly that no matter how many cells and I'm sure he's snuggled in nicely    

Spuds - you're on such a roller coaster at the moment no wonder you're going through the gamit of emotions.  I hope the move goes as smoothly as possible and things calm down quickly once you get there   

Anna - I've not tried any of the decaff teas as they're chemically decaffeinated but I would imagine that clipper being organic is going to be the best of the bunch.  I might watch out for it  

Driver and Siobhan , joining in the AF dance for you         

Malini I can't believe they've mucked about your booking    You're not being pathetic, I'd be spitting, expecially when it's so important to you  

Louise - thanks for the positive comment on my follies, trouble is they don't seem to be able to get decent eggs out of them at tx, makes me wonder why my body's producing them at all    Anyway in answer to your question, I'm waiting for an appeal to PCT at the moment but don't expect to hear until May so hopefully we'll get moving pretty pronto then, luckily we don't have an issue with waiting lists down here at the moment but May seems like a long way away   Still thanks to advise from these lovely girlies (cheers Malini and LJ) I'm trying to get my E2 checked and AMH retested so that should distract me for a bit.  

Laura  

Sorry girls need a loo dash!   Love to all   

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Han72

Malini said:


> Mad and cursing today. Holiday is needed but found out yesterday that our lovely secluded villa was a figment of my imagination bc hotel cannot fit in our booking and we've been slotted into a superb room but not quite as private.


ARRGGGGGHHH!!!! SH1TE!       Honey don't beat yourself up for feeling upset about that, you'd been looking forward to that privacy of COURSE you'd be p1ssed off to discover the booking had been messed up      But fair play to you for listening to your sensible angel! Mine seems to go quiet at times of high stress 

PMSL at "Low Frustration Tolerance" this seems to describe my default attitude perfectly, but I didn't know it had a name   

Oh and the next time you dare to call yourself pathetic or anything like that I'm coming round to yours to hand out some of these
http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q214/shellebell_01/Web%20Pics/*****_slap_msn.gif So be warned, I know where you live.....    You are fricking fabulous missus and don't you forget it!    

Hey Laura supermama!    How the HELL do you manage to find time to post on here at all?! I have no children, no job, not even a pet (unless you count DH ) and I can barely keep up! 

RC honey - how are you?    

Hey Nicki - sounds like a plan! Good luck with your appointments hon!    

Anne - you gotta match?! YIPPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!      But wot's all this about AF going missing? Yes the prog will usually delay things but you never know chick... Time for a little testie methinks...      

Drives - nice one re the lack of a hangover! Mind you, vodka - pretty much pure alcohol, ginger beer, anti-inflammatory properties etc... it was practically a health drink    Mmmm bacon butties 

Siobhan - i found DHEA made my cycles shorter....  weird innit?! I don't whether to wish that AF turns up or that she stays away for you guys, jeez, wish I could still try naturally  Mind you, I'd probably have to take out a second mortgage to fund peestick purchases   

Heaps -      

Yo Spuds  blimey chick you have got a lot on aintcha?! Good luck with the move hon and don't forget to invite us all over for a PR retreat as soon as you get settled in!  to the s0dding tenants, do they not realise they are dealing with a hormonally challenged woman here?! Gits!!! Here have some of these hon    and don't let the buggers get you down! Oh and have you tried using Mozilla Firefox or Google Chrome as your browser? That weird jumpy thing only happens with IE.... PMSL at "rant pants"   

Louises -     for the new job lovey! BTW I've not heard of Clexane being used to bring on AF Must be a new thing! Failing that when he does the scan he can check for a cyst which might be delaying things. That's easily rectified so stay    chick!

Mira - definitely up for a meet up in Salisbury chick! Just need to get me act together and we'll sort summat out! 

Hi Izzi, LJ, Mags, Steph, Tracey (lemon drizzle cake - YUM!!  ) Zuri  , Dinna, Sausagio, LV, Leola and EVERYBODY 

It's such a beeyootiful day today I can't stop smiling 

PS who wants to see the provisional PR retreat in the south of France All we need to do is win the lottery or summink and then it'll be sorted... Seeemples 

http://www.pap.fr/annonce/vente-maisons-piscine-a-30-km-autour-de-eguilles-13510-g11323k30-de-4-a-7-chambres-jusqu-a-525000-euros-tri-surface-desc-r16890700

xxx

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----------



## Little Me

Oh girls..  I feel like I've caused a stir with my test  
I'm only 1/2 days late and I ain't even late cos its the **** hole cyclogest - that masks AF's....how thick of me not even knowiing that  
xx


----------



## IzziLu

Back again, that's better!

Sorry Nicki, wasn't ignoring you but when needs must!  I think it's a good plan to visit both clinics in the running and whilst practicalities will probably play a part in whatever decision you make I think a lot has to be said for good ol' gut instinct so take the time to notice how each clinic really makes you feel and hopefully you won't go far wrong!   

Malini, just reading back your posts again and I really feel for you at the moment, you are being so hard on yourself in so many ways when you really need to allow yourself to feel what you're feeling (if that makes sense) There is a time and a place for 'get a grip' and I really don't think this is it! Sending you so many               

Hi Nix   You excited on your countdown?

Anne nothing wrong with a little optimism though is there?   

xXx


----------



## laurab

Izzy - Ohhh nasty.   I used to get it quite a bit bt haven't had it (touch wood) since the chippers.... maybe because i don't have sex any more!  

Nix - Ohhhhhhh now that looks nice.    We are just boking a camping holiday to north of france.... any reccomendations? Is that near you? maybe we could meet up.


----------



## Malini

Ahh, you're all so nice. Ok, I will let the 'get a grip' campaign soften and let a little 'woe is me' in because you all said it is allowed.

Laura - You DO make it better for me. All your considerate patience with my ranting makes me feel MUCH better. 

Izzilu - Check out www.ivfauthority.com and read what he says about protocols making eggs go bad and stick to the walls of the follicle. There is a lot of belief in the UK that it is our rotten eggs that make everything go wrong and a lot less belief, as there is in some US clinics, that it is the protocol that is at fault. So sorry about the cystitis. There are sufferers amongst us and I think mag and stephjoy have both posted in the past about their methods to make it better. Thank you for your supportive care. I am hard on myself bc I don't want to let the misery take over but I guess I have to let it run its course. 

Anne - It is nice to hope. We know it may be the cyclogest but still I maintain it is nice to hope. 

Nix - Darling, I'll sell our flat and co-buy that home with you (might need to rob a bank to make up the difference) and we'll drive the neighbours nuts. Love it. So excited about this plan, think I will call the estate agent now. If you like LFT, you'll love 'catastrophising', ie turning every small mishap and inconvenience into a catastrophe. 

Off to find lunch,
Malini xxx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Han72

Oh yeah, I loves a bit of catastophising, I does! Well I used to but I seem to be handling it a bit better now (we won't talk about the RANT I had down the phone to the tax office the other day, or the heeeeyuge row with DH over I can't even remember what last weekend - that was clearly the microgynon talking, nuffink to do wiv me  ) 

We seem to have scarily similar traits you and I - maybe we were separated at birth    

ooh Laura, when? Don't do it when I'm in London for tx will you (because of course you would want to arrange your holiday to fit in with my schedule wouldn't you  )  I dunno much about campsites to be honest but we're not far from Normandy here, the area around Deauville/Trouville is luvverly and by the sea too...  Moules marinieres to DIE for!!!

xxx


----------



## H&amp;P

IzziLu said:


> Morning all, at home feeling a bit sorry for myself today  been struck with the curse that is cystitis and beating a well worn path between the bed and the loo  Any one else a sufferer?


  me, I'm a regular sufferer (though it is mainly linked as I think Laura alluded to too much ) probably why I haven't had it for a couple of months  we have gone back to every other day rather than every day  at my peak time. In the past I have even been referred to hospital cos I got it so often, if it's a bad bout get yourself to the Dr's as the home remedies don't work as well as good old Anti b's (I always have the powders at home and at least 2 litres of cranberry in the cupboard and lemon barley water) 

Malini -  I hope you can still look forward to your holiday, I will be adopting the tankini and sarong style of sunbathing while we are away to hide my bruised tummy (well hopefully it will be if AF ever arrives)

Nix - When can I come , I have a spare fiver if that will help and buy me a share? Like the idea that Vodka & GB is a health drink, think I will hold onto that one.

Anne - You should know it doesn't take a lot to get us excited , that's why I did the pee stick before even posting I was late 

Laura - Camping with the chippers, do you need me to come and help  Fancy a couple of weeks in France


----------



## laurab

Driver  - Your booked!   Extra hands are always appreciated!

Nix - I don't know france at all never been... I thik I need a map... we are driving so somewhere not too far from the border I guess. I think we are looking at one of those chalet places, either end june begining of Sept... hens good for you.


----------



## Ourturn

Nicki - totally understand. Have felt pretty dissapointed by my bf's reaction...oh well you can always have de or adopt. Even though these are are next options that comment trivialised what we have been through, especially when I feel like my world is falling apart, thanks to IF.
MIL also made the comment 'you have plenty of time', which I do not that's the problem! Have not been able to bring myself to reply to her e-mail. 
I would go for the clinic with better stats. I have had 3 trys at local clinic and achieved zilch.

Malini - you will fit right in with all the beautiful people! Like me it sounds like your self esteem is low which is totally understandable. I burst into tears saturday and told dh he  should leave me bacause I'm a big, fat, infertile, blob. I hope you will feel better once you get there and that the monkeys make you smile. 

Anne - when do you go to Cyprus? 

Heaps -      

Spuds - moving is stressfull  

Izzy - I used to suffer with it. Cranberry juice and Cystopurin were life savers (unless it got really bad and I needed antib's)

Driver, Laura Nix and everyone  

Updated my IF history which I originally did for Mr G. Its now x2 pages tyoed a4 pages long! Sent it to Peny at Serum who gets rave reviews on her thread. Will be interesting to see what she says. 

Happy St Patrick day everyone 
Anna x


----------



## H&amp;P

Heaps said:


> and then told me DE was exploitation of another womans body and totally disgusting to her. It hurt sooo much.


 give me her address  Not sure I should do my own AF dance 

I have fingers and toes crossed for you


----------



## Ourturn

Heaps - OMG what an ignorant cow       I was on a table at a party and had to listen to a woman go on about how her friend, who was unable to have children, did not get how hard it was for her having to look after 3 kids!   Some fertiles do not get it. Like being an aunty to their kids is somehow going to make things ok for us!


----------



## SiobhanG

Driver - just thought I'd let you know - AF still hasn't arrived for me yet either. I am still not gonna test though as I am pretty sure it's the DHEA (hoping it's the DHEA!) - I can't bear doing the pregnancy test - in fact after my last IVF I didn't test until day 17 or 18 - and I had convinced myself I was pregnant because I hadn't bled - but of course it was the cyclogest.

So instead I will keep my head in the sand!


----------



## Little Me

Heaps- What the F? that makes me sad and angry


----------



## Malini

Despite my reports to the contrary there is some luck in this world and my wonderful travel agent (found via Nix) has worked her **** off and come up with the goods - my own private bit of haven - and she has apologised and made me feel like it was my legitimate right to go bonkers (it wasn't but I appreciate her imdulgence).  Yeah!!! Yippee!!!  3 more get ups and I am awake to go to Heathrow.  SO EXCITED.

But yes, ASB you nailed the low self confidence bit.  Full of admiration of your steam ahead attitude with Penny et al.  You rock good woman.

Heaps darling   I too am down a BF who told me my reaction to not being able to have a baby after a year of trying was disproportionate to the problem.  Ahh, there is a proportionate response?  Errr, I think not.  She is a type 1 diabetic and had 2 AFs in the previous 10 years before conceiving in 6 weeks after a round of meds.  I am so hopeful for you    And I agree that DE is something miraculous and beautiful; a genuinely amazing thing that woman can do for another.

There's more and I send   all round.  Gotta dash to the acupuncturist and I take Charlie with me and he rushes for no one.

Malini xxx


----------



## Malini

PS for Driver.  Dh has ordered me to go shopping tomorrow for kaftans and dresses I can throw over my swimsuit and has totally bought into the 'how I feel' despite what he sees.  I am lucky.  Will think of you and send   while I shop.


----------



## Han72

Heaps - time to hand out some more of these I think -

http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q214/shellebell_01/Web%20Pics/*****_slap_msn.gif

stupid cow!

Yaaay Malini's smiling again      

Aww bless your sweet DH!


----------



## Züri

Heaps can I slap your ex BF? jesus what a beatch!

Malini so pleased you got your holidy sorted, I wish i was a skinny minnie and could hide in your suitcase it will be fabulous and just what you deserve xx

Anne your donor sounds fab, so exciting! xx

Nikki hugs 

Mum has left this morning, feel very sad, had such a lovely week and her being here during stimming has been great - really taken my mind off it all - have felt exhausted more than before during this stimming but still found the energy to shop and shop and shop oh and add a hot outdoor spa/pool/wellness day on Sunday  

Had another scan today - last stim tonight, trigger tomorrow night then EC on Sat am and ET on Tuesday am  

x


----------



## Little Me

Nix- I love  your slaps    ,  

Z- ah hun, sorry about your mom   but lots of luck for EC


----------



## SiobhanG

Heaps - I too can empathise with you. I haven't spoken to my best friend in over a year, as when I was initially diagnosed - she totally wasn't there for me, and sent me a text a few weeks later saying she needed some time out from me. !!?? We also lost a couple of friends who had been through IF and adopted - they just didn't want to know about our pain. I guess that's why IF makes us all feel so lonely and isolated at times.

For any of you interested Mrs Janet Evans responded to my email about DHEA, AGAIN doesn't seem like she is actually reading the question I have put to her - I give up!

Here is my email and her response

Me - 

Hi Mrs Evans

Thank you very much for your response. I just want to ask whether any of the patients in your study of DHEA had changes in their cycle length? And if that is the case, would you advise them to continue taking it?

Her response

A few but as they have poor ovarian response – this was not unusual
janet


Er, I think what she is saying is that for us poor responders, changes in cycle length are common.....

I will still carry on taking it, as she hasn't advised otherwise.


----------



## IzziLu

Heaps, Malini and Siobhan who needs friends like that    you're definitely better off without them!

And Malini, so pleased the holiday has been sorted   - well done to Nix's buddy for being 'super travel agent' 

Zuri - sounds like all is going according to plan and the pampering day on Sunday sounds lurverly! Shame your mum has had to go but great to have had the support and distraction while she was around!  

To my fellow sufferers I am sitting with a box of cystopurin, two cartons of ocean spray (other cranberry juices are available   ) and two 2l bottles of water as we speak trying desperately to 'flush' it through. Last time I had it was just before stimms in Nov and it took four separate courses of anti-bs to clear it. I blame it in part for my bad response to that tx although I've been assured its not related but what do the experts know eh?    Like you Driver I think its the   that triggers it but have to carry on regardless    

btw just had a call from my clinic and they are willing to re-run AMH for £105 - wonder if they'll refund me if the result proves they got it wrong 1st time round?  

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Han72

Anne G said:


> Nix- I love your slaps   ,


you callin' me a slapper    

Izzi hon - really hope it clears up soon chick     

Siobhan - is she fick or wot  The question was quite clear, I hate it when people do that!

Zuri -    bless your mummy for making you feel better! Mine usually does too when she's not putting her foot in it over DE  Can't believe trigger time is nearly here!    

xxx


----------



## Kittycat104

Sad to hear about people's BFs - its incredible how insensitive some people can be.  I think it just reaffirms my view that people just don't understand how utterly crap IF is until you have been through it.  I am ever thankful for my supportive and caring BF who makes a point of not talking about her baby and plying me with wine whenever possible.

Siobhan - very frustrating and useless answer to your question.  Have you managed to get any info that is of any use out of her yet?

Malini - so pleased you got your holiday sorted out - you deserve it.  Will you PM me your ** name so I can admire your Chow?  Where will he go whilst you are away?

Izzy - cystitis sounds nasty.  Hope it disappears soon.  

Nix - count me into the retreat plan.  Will a fiver do?  Perhaps we can find a wealthy benefactor to support the Save the PR girls fund

Nicki - for what its worth, if this is your last UK go, I would go for the best you can.

Off to a conference tomorrow and then seeing friends in Manchester for the weekend, so off to pack my bag.  Think I may have confused clexane and gestone in my earlier post!  Dr said he may give me gestone to keep AF at bay and hopefully lengthen lutuel phase - does that make more sense?


----------



## mag108

Heaps: Sweetheart big kisses, hang in there ! my best wishes

Anne: very exciting about your match!

Malini: Glad its sorted! well done. I agree that you are prob looking fine but would welcome that seclusion which I dearly hope you get. It is no wonder you are suffering from LFA, sounds very familiar. But agree you are beautiful inside and out! Go to the wedding as 'you' anyway and dont give a flyin f::k! You are still recovering and it will take a while, a least 3mths and prob more.x

Nix: can I please come too or at least buy a ticket in the lottery

Heaps: Wow, were did your ex BF get off? xxx Really its only fellow IF sufferers who get it. Luckily we all have each other on here


xx to everyone. Very tough day emotionally at work, undervalued, underpaid,  overworked and at the end of my tether.
Baseline scan tomorrow, hysteroscopy Fri, leaving for Athens on Sunday


----------



## lucky_mum

Hi all 

can't stop - just checking in before taking off for a couple of days up to in-laws in Cambs!

Zuri - good luck for EC sweetie - hope you have some tip-top quality eggs in there   

Jal - well done PUPO lady!  hope the 2ww doesn't drive you too  !

Mags - good luck in Athens   

Malini - have a lovely holiday, hope it helps and that you have some good quality time with DH   

Had a lovely lunch today with GuitarAngel (fellow FF/Reprofiter) and her lovely twins, and our own Lainey-Lou and her GORGEOUS twins - they are soooooooo adorable, like little dollies and felt so light after what I am used to with V! Lainey if you are reading this, was lovely to see you, Cecily and Louisa   

Take care all, back on Sunday!


----------



## Spuds

Girls 

Hic   am bit worse the wear as thought stuff it am going for last drink with girls     stuff tenants stuff packing and anything grown up  

Am fealing brave (temporarily until the baileys wears off )     

Just wanted to say am thinking of you all - thanks for your msges and your slaps Nix are v funny lol 

Really will catch up with personals soon and PS - defo need a PR girls fest in Jersey - have found fab camp site could be a scream )

  
Spuds
xxxxx


----------



## Malini

Oh Heaps, I am hoping, wishing and begging. Big hugs for you as you try to cope with this awful wait. The 'what if' is lovely but a double edged sword. Thx for what you said about BF. I was very much there for her when she was diagnosed and we lived together so I got a real insight into how horrible a disease it is. Truthfully, I think she believes - as so many do - that IF isn't complicated to solve and I should just be calmer and get on with it. Having Type 1 has hardened her a lot because she has had to cope. Alas, I have other friends who have more than made up for it. Back to wishing for you.

Zuri - Sad you had to say bye to mum but so excited about this much smoother cycle. Wishing you loads of luck for EC and beyond. I'd take you all with me on hols. What fun that would be!

Lou - I will PM you asap, but if you're friends with any of us already I might be there. My profile pic is of me and the Chow. He goes to a dogminder when we're on hols whom he loves more than buttered toast. 

Siobhan - How irritating that that woman can't answer a question directly. A seasoned academic to the core!!

Jal - U ok?

Mag - good luck for tomorrow and Sunday. Hope you and Sarah have a giggle. Thx for the advice re wedding et al. I'm trying today to stop the looking ahead and will just enjoy today.
Morning everyone,

Malini xxx


----------



## Malini

I forgot, Izzilu - hope you're feeling better. It sounds horrible. M xxx


----------



## Little Me

Hi all

Heaps- I am hoping for you hun    

Morning Mal  

Izz- Hope you're feeling better  

No test for me today girls as I had what I think was the beginning of the B itch arrive last night...nothing since then but she's en route  

Mag- Lots of luck for scan today and all your treatments coming up  

Love to all


----------



## H&amp;P

Morning all,

Heaps -    I have got everything so tightly crossed for you today   

Mal - package in the post should be with you by 1pm tomorrow 

Anne - 

Izzi - Hope your feeling better today 

Mag - Hope you have a smooth trip to Athens with the lovely Swinny   

Jersey - hangover ?, can you find me a B&B, my hair and camping are not a mtach made in heaven 

Zuri - Hope you have anice crop of juicy follies (I know you don't like to say as you feel you shouldn't be here but we (well I) really do want to know ) Hope you enjoy your drug free day tomorrow.   

Steph - loving Vivvy's latest photo

Siobhan -  to people who don't answer the question they are asked

Had a very bizarre email from Dogus this morning entitled "Black Donors" and the details of 2 black donors , sent it back to them and they have just replied with "Sorry this was for another lady with the name Ann-Marie" Hope they don't make this mistake when we are over there


----------



## Ourturn

Driver - that would give you a suprise  

Heaps         

Zuri - have you had ec? 

Hi Malini, Spuds, Anne, Steph, Louise, Nix Izzie et all 

Penny from serum e-mailed me back and said I am a 'very complicated case'   She will call me once my C test is back.

My dhea arrived yesterday. I am not sure whether to start taking it until af arrives. Thing is af could take another 2.5 months to return because of the down reggs I had.
What do you think?

Anna x


----------



## Han72

Yo!

Wotcha dinna - start taking it now hon, the sooner it gets to work on your l'il eggies the better! Also I founf it made my cycles shorter so it may even kick the old beatch in the butt and bring her on a bit faster    

Driver    firkin' 'ell I hope they get their sh1t together or that could be a bit of a shock when the baby pops out!   

Anne - would you not just test anyway lovey? People have been known to bleed during pregnancy and didn't someone say that you're supposed to make sure if she hasn't turned up after a certain number of days? I know it's 'orrible to see a lonely line on an HPT but speaking personally I know I'd rather be sure... at least then I could rush to the docs and DEMAND clexane and steroids and gawd knows what else!

Maliiiiniiiiii     hope today is a good day chick! Is the sun shining where you are? It's quite pleasant here, I'm gonna go get me some vit d in a bit! Bags packed yet missus

Heaps                        



jerseyspuds said:


> defo need a PR girls fest in Jersey - have found fab camp site could be a scream )


YEAH!!!    It can be the warm up for the PR jolly to the South of France   

Hey Steph - you met GA! Aww I wish I'd known I'd have asked you to say howdy from me, she used to post on the POF boards, And Lainey with her twins too, my word what a baby-fest! SOunds like you had a fab time chick! How is the gorgeous Vivvy?

Mag - you're right, Malini does look absolutely gorgeous but sometimes our minds play funny tricks on us! If you feel sad inside you feel like you look bad from the outside I spose. But she's beeeyoootiful  What's going on at work lovey? Want me to come round and distribute some http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q214/shellebell_01/Web%20Pics/*****_slap_msn.gif 

Hi Louise - yeah that makes sense, gestone is progesterone which helps to lengthen the luteal phase (innit Anne!  ) so yeah it should help to keep AF at bay. And it's just so much fun injecting it too  Get that hot water bottle ready girlfriend! 

Reet sorry no more persos, need to get my sh1t together as we're off to Aix later on and I've only unpacked and repacked my suitcase about 25 times so far  so there's only enough time for a couple more attempts   

Love to all!

xxx


----------



## Little Me

Yo Nix & Anna -   
oooh, Nix, I dunno, surely the B ITCH will be showing her ugly face......but maybe to rule it out, if not in full flow by tomorrow, can't hurt I guess xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - good luck for today and tomorrow          

Nix - will do thanks 

x


----------



## Little Me

Oh Heaps, no, I'm so sorry, really am. This is soooo not fair


----------



## H&amp;P

Heaps - I am so so sorry   , here if you want to talk    Hope you aren't on your own?


----------



## beachgirl

Heaps    so so sorry, words fail me...


----------



## popsi

oh heaps darling.. i am so so sorry    ... words are inadequate i know xx

driver.. now that would be a shock LOL !! 

anne... how are you darling xx

malini.. glad your hols are sorted now xx

nix..    for you honey xx love the place in france lol xx

annasb..    xx

who asked about DHEA... they made my cycles shorter too.. get on it ASAP i say xx

sorry no more personals... sorting out mountain of old paper work while my princess is having her nap 

love you all xxxx


----------



## Little Me

Pops- hi love, I'm ok ta   
xxx


----------



## Ourturn

Heaps - I am so so sorry hunny        

Anna x


----------



## Malini

Oh Heaps. So sad and disappointed with you, and feel for your dh too. There's nothing worse than having all the hopes and what ifs crushed. Sending you both love. Let's meet up soon and maybe have a chat about how a very different protocol made a very big difference in my case when everyone was ready to throw in my towel.

Driver. You're a very kind and special person and I appreciate you.

Nix. It's so nice having you as my life coach. Enjoy Aix. Will be prayin' for your start next week.

Oh Anne, the agony. I hate testing but I can hear the sense behind the advice to do so.

Hi Anna. I've stuck my head in the sand on the DHEA question but I'd say that as long as you've had an adrenal test and know that they aren't elevated you could start. Maybe your super helpful GP would assist? Hope I haven't thrown another spanner in the works.

Finally, another HUG for Heaps. It is unfair, cruel and difficult to comprehend.

Malini xxx


----------



## H&amp;P

Mal - Have you been shopping? Did you get anything nice?


----------



## Malini

I have Driver and I am ashamed by how much it has cheered me up. I've bought a floaty day dress that'll be great over a bikini for lunch or could dress up for a warm eve. I also indulged in a little clutch handbag and some lovely toiletries for pampering. Sooo very excited now. No AF? 
Ta for asking.
M xxx


----------



## SiobhanG

Heaps  - I am so, so sorry and feel very upset for you.... at least you know there are some of us out here who can really understand the pain that you are going through. Take care of yourself. 

Louise - nothing of use from Mrs Janet Evans re the DHEA, begining to think she just hasn't got a clue herself. I am still taking it though, feel like I've got nothing to lose.

Driver - any sign of AF yet? - also hope the "black doner" email hasn't totally freaked you! - I have thought about the doner situation and one part of me would love to see a picture of her and the other side of me thinks not.....

Anne G - I am the same as you in my reluctance to test. At my last (failed) IVF, I saw what I thought was a very, very, very faint positive (came up after 3/4 mins) - perhaps it was a chemical pregnany or just an evaporation line. But I drove myself insane re-testing over the next couple of days and to be honest I couldn't tell what was what by the end of it. All I know is that each test I did broke my heart. My fingers are crossed that you get a miracle!!


----------



## Little Me

Mal- sounds lovely your new clobber  

Siobhan- The last time I did a test was 2008- I've never even got to ET stage on my IVF's so feels strange but period pains are here now- which is odd, cos I don't usuallly get them so the cyclogest must have changed my cycle completely
xxx

heaps


----------



## Lilly7

Heaps, I'm so sorry. Lots of Love and Strength for you both.     xxx


----------



## IzziLu

Oh Heaps, I am so so sorry,   my heartfelt love and sympathy go out to you and DH       

IzziLu xXx


----------



## IzziLu

Great that you're making plans already Heaps   Hope the gym makes you feel a bit better although not as much as that bottle of red me suspects!     

IzziLu xXx


----------



## purple72

Oh heaps hunny, just got back from a few days up north (working) and seen your news! I am so very sorry sweetie! My heart aches for you and DH This is such a hard time! I wish I had words to ease your pain my sweet, but unfortunately I don't, but know that I'm sending you all the hugs in the world!!!

So sorry sweetie xxxx


----------



## Züri

Just got in from work and done a quick catch up

Heaps I am so very sorry  I thought this was going to be it for you - really gutted    xxx

AnnaSB no EC is Sat morning - trigger tonight at 10.30 

So so tired and drained this time round - I feel bloody pregnant for sure! 

Thanks Driver - I do feel very uneasy saying too much but it's nice you all care xx


----------



## SiobhanG

Anne G-
Think the cyclogest could be causing the cramps - last time I was on it I had really bad cramps from it.

Heaps - I think the gym is a good idea- I find it very tough to get there, but it does help you to get a little bit more positive. Although I usually end up stuffing myself and having a drink as a "reward" afterwards...... things will get easier over the next few days.


----------



## Malini

Zuri - I hope the tiredness is connected to your larger haul of follicle. Good luck with trigger tonight and enjoy a drug free day tomorrow. Wishing you all the luck in the world regardless of quantity of eggs and any other detail.

Heaps - I am back on the 29th and will be in touch to make a date. Hugs. It never feels like it but the pain will ease and your determination and PMA will come back. I can feel mine lurking in the shadows.

Spuds - Keep on rolling. Soon you'll be on that emerald isle. I LOVE Jersey.

Good evenings all,
Malini xx


----------



## Miranda7

Heaps - I'm so sorry sweetpea.


----------



## shortie66

Hello ladies  

Fcuk it im finding it very hard to stay away  

Heaps just wanted to send you love and       sweetheart, thinking of you.     

Mallini darling have been reading about your holiday and hope you have a very relaxing, replenishing and healing time, cos you so derserve it.     

Lots of love and       and       to all the lovely special girls on here am missing you more than you will ever know.


----------



## Rural Chick

Heaps -               and           to the sh1t that is IF        

Sorry I'm so [email protected] at the moment - things aren't too good at work and the depression is rearing its ugly head again, which is stupid as I have so much to be grateful for - peversely that makes it even worse      . I only hope I can stay off the ADs until July. Thanks for the wishes about my friend and grandad - he is making a slow recovery but will probably be in for at least another couple of weeks.

Love and       to everyone

**** sy **** sy xxxx


----------



## mag108

Jersey xx

Heaps: God I am so so sorry hun, I really am. That is heartbreaking. hugs and kisses, I really hope you get some quite time to yourself sweetie xxx (and enjoy that wine)
(ps please get in touch to meet, I am in north Manchester)

Mal: What I have found about weddings both being a guest and a host is once everyone gets their first glass of bubbly (or three) they dont notice a godam thing! Thats my top tip, so dont worry! Delighted about the shopping trip 

PS M&S having 25% off all SALE prices one day only tomorrow!

Zuri: hope you have fab follies 

Izzi: Are u feeling better today

Steph: you must all be so proud and delighted, its a really positive picture for all of us hun!

Driver: Not long now! We may be cycling at a very similar time! (lets hope not too many surpises and if there are, only good ones!)

Sobroody: I really hope Penny can help, she seems great, like her way. Re DHEA, you only need take it for 3mths. Personally I would wait til Af arrives..

Nix: have a blast in Aix. (re work: I am hangin in there just about)

Siobhan: helllo

Shortie: heyyyyyyyyyyyy! 

RC: Hugs and kisses to you hun, dont give yourself a hard time hun, if you suffer from depression it will come up in all sorts of situations.
And your body is going through a lot so be kind to yourself.xxx

I am just hangin in there. The months and months of stress at work has taken its toll and feel very negative about  it. The strain on relationships, burnt out feelin is yuk and I am close to tears alot of the time. So yes, not great. The plus side is if hysteroscopy goes ok tomorrow my mind further at rest, then the treat of Athens with Swinny involving 3 hotels (2 with pools). It will be good to hang out with girl friend!

XXX


----------



## laurab

Oh Heaps, I'm so so sorry.    Sending love your way.


----------



## popsi

woohooo... SHORTIE is back ... i am so happy darling.. and do you know what i have blown you some damn bubbles too !!!!!     

rc... sorry your not feeling too good honey, you take care xxx

mags    

laura.. hey xxx


----------



## veda

Hi all

am on nights again! Boo!
Heaps im so sorry. There is nothing i can say to make it better so im going to leave it at that. 
not much to say for me im just plodding along.
Malini have amazing holiday. Im so jelous!

Il pop back when iv got more to say!

V


----------



## Lilly7

Morning Everyone.  

Tracey, I hope your bearing up with DH's computer playing. It would drive me bonkers.  

Anne, I'm so glad you got your match! That's great news.  

Driver, Not at Care, Jessops ACU have the NHS contract for Sheff. We now have a new car     so let me know a good day. Looking forwards to meeting you, and hopefully Beachie too. x

Louise, I'm not actually sure what Letrozole does.   I know it's licensed as a breast cancer drug in the UK. Maybe someone else can enlighten us as to what it does for fertility tx. How's the cycle tracking going? x

Hi Malini,   Shopping sounds fun  . x

Laura  .

RC,    

Shortie,  

Heaps, more     for you. x

Zuri,    

Hi Veda, Pops, AnnaSB, Izzilu, Purple, Spuds, Beachgirl, Siobhan and anyone else I've missed. . x

Sorry for the patchy personals. I'm absolutely shattered at the mo and can't think properly. I feel totally overwhelmed with my work load and redundancy negotiations are taking their toll. 

AFM . . . . yesterday afternoon I spoke with my clinic counsellor to arrange implications counselling which we obviously need to have urgently if we are going to have donor sperm available as back for our cycle next month. 
It turns out that my dear (world renown) consultant who had promised the back up sperm . . . and whom has already started me DR with provera and the pill in preparation for a cycle in 4 weeks time . . . actually can't promise back up sperm. It seems there is a blood test I need to have done (CMV) which he didn't mention, and if I test negative to this they actually don't have any sperm available     !!!! And either way, there are lots of other things to get through . . which all take time! (I thought it sounded too good to be true  )
I just can't believe it, after everything I've been through with that clinic . . . when I heard this I just burst into tears . . and started sobbing down the phone. I'm getting so f**cked off! I foolishly thought they would try to do everything possible to make sure that they got everything right for this cycle. It's been almost 10 months since we finished all our work up tests etc and have been ready to start tx, and they still haven't got us through a cycle!!!
If I hadn't 'happened' to call my counsellor to see if she 'happened' to have any earlier appointment slots, and if she hadn't spoken to the nurse in charge of donor to check everything, I would have been none the wiser for another 3 weeks and would have continued with progesterone and bcp trusting in my consultants words. And!!! . . my clinic keep saying, it's not ideal for me to take the bcp because of my very low reserve and therefore I should only be on it for the minimum time necissary to get rid of the cyst! Therefore if we can't start tx next month I really shouldn'y have started with it yet!
. . and every month that slips by makes it ever more unlikely that DP's sperm (which they have to get through TESE) will be viable (with his extremely high FSH!)

Sorry for the rant. I feel Sooo frustrated and F**cked of with it all. I just can't believe that we are ever going to get through a cycle.

x


----------



## veda

Leola just off to bed now but is cmv not cytomegalovirus and if it is then you are supposed to test negative as its a nasty viral infection. Otherwise i have never heard of it but in my line of work we like our women to be cmv neg. Cant think what else has the same abbreviation.

Hope it works out for you. Il say a little prayer before i go to sleep. X

v


----------



## Little Me

Morning all  

Leola  

mag- Have a relaxing trip (as much as you can) and give Saarah a hug from me  

Yo- Shortie is here     

heaps   

**** y- Hun, sorry yo're feeling sh!t   

Well, I did test as af is still a bit odd but as we thought, it was negative. I'm not sad, or upset, just did it just in case.
So, onwards with my lovely donor  

love to all
xxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## IzziLu

Morning all

Heaps, more      for you, hope you enjoyed that red last night  

RC, you've been through so much recently, it's hardly surprising you're feeling the way you are   look after yourself hun     

Oh Leola, what an absolute c**k up, no wonder you're frustrated.  Hope they get their   s in gear in time for you to move forward.

Feeling much better thanks Mags, it's not gone completely but I've managed to drag myself away from the loo and into work.  Know what you mean about the stress levels, I feel like I'm constantly battling my 'to do' list, roll on maternity leave!   
Hope the hysto goes well and make the most of your girlie time in Athens  

Zuri, hope you're enjoying your drug free day, good luck for tomorrow                                  

Anne, well done for getting that test out of the way, at least it has settled your mind and you can get on with the doner  

Love to all    

IzziLu xXx


----------



## H&amp;P

Just a quickie....

Anne -   at least you know it's Ok to stop the cyclogest now  

Heaps -   Hope you are doing OK today and had some nice snuggles with DH when he got home from work  

Leola - Will check my diary and I'm seeing Beachie tonight at a Yorkshire bingo meet so will see when she is free.     for the phone call, why are these things never straight forward though I was amazed when I read your previous post as I know someone who is waiting for Dsperm at Leeds and it is a bit of a wait.  

Shortie - lovely to see you, as I never get time to go on **  

Siobhan - No she isn't bl00dy well here   

Popsi - Is your pricess keeping you busy  

Malini - You started packing yet, hope you have an amazing holiday  

Mag - Hope your hysteroscopy goes smoothly     and you have some fun on your mini "break" with Swinny (give her a huge hug from me), looking forward to having you as my cycle buddy (if my AF ever comes  )

Zuri - Hope your trigger went Ok, enjoy your drug free day and     for Ec tomorrow.

RC - Big   to you, can you get RH to pass that on for me (does he not love us anymore?) 

Purps - Hows your little bump coming along, hope your not working too hard, how far North do you go when travelling with work?

LJ - Hope you are getting out and about in the sunshine with your LO.

Izzi - Glad the waterworks are feeling a little easier, keep up the drinking until it's totally gone  

maybe not so quick after all......


----------



## Malini

Morning all,

Hope everyone is okay and I am sure grateful it is Friday except Veda who is probably waiting for her Friday to begin tonight.  

Like I said to Zuri I wish I could bundle you all up and take you on holiday with me.  There isn't anyone on this site who couldn't do with a break in my opinion.  I feel very fortunate to have this gorgeous week to look forward to.

Anne - Sounds like you've really got your head around this upcoming adventure.  I am so hopeful for you and if it means anything my dh is putting us on the DE list today at CRM.  We will likely try again with my OE but it is coming to the end of that journey.  And I don't see DE as second best but instead as another path.  I'll always be sad about what could've been but at the same time excited should I conceive carry a DE baby to term.  The crazy thing about being a human is that you can be sad and happy at the same time!!!

Mag - Thinking of you today.  I hope it goes well and reassures you.  I hate that you are so stressed atm and I know there is very little anyone else can do to make it better.  Hopefully your time with Swinny will be restorative. Love your top tip re my wedding   And M&S info too ... typically I was in there y'day.  

Leola - Yippee for the car but   for all the miscommunication and empty promises from that Consultant.  I am so annoyed for you and it baffles me that these top guys don't know the reality of how their patients experience their clinics.  Maybe he should stop flying around telling people want to do and put his own house in order.  Okay how do we make this positive?  If at all.  More time is bad for dp but good for you to let TCM herbs work.  I'm a bit confused on male factor so excuse me if this is stupid question but does it make sense to get some of dp's frosties frozen?  And that blood test is one I had to have for the States and I was negative.  So sorry you had to cry and feel that low.  Sher puts all his clients on the ocp and I don't see much evidence on his thread/discussion boards of anyone being shut down.  I do, however, know this can happen with buserelin (sp) and he isn't an advocate of that product.
Hope you can get some acu or a massage or anything that calms you down.  THIS IS SO STRESSFUL and  I hate it!!!!

Shortie - So good to see you.  I am counting down the days and I think you will depart as I arrive back.  You will never be far from my thoughts.     Thank you for holiday wishes.  I hope you too have a little time to relax while you are away.  I know it seems a crazy thing to say but dh and I did have some downtime in Vegas and felt relaxed and 'on holiday' in parts.

RC - Depression isn't 'sensible' or 'reasonable'  - it just is.  And that is very difficult and must be maddening for you.  You have a lot on in your personal life and also work is always a cause of stress to some degree.  Take care of you and do what you need to do for you.  

Heaps -    

Zuri -    

Driver - Thank you.  I have sent you a PM but publicly I want to say this thread is blessed to have you as part of it.  I so look forward to meeting you in person.

It's 11.11 - I think that's lucky and I am sending it to you Jal.

Malini xxx


----------



## SiobhanG

Anne G - I'm sorry, I was really hoping it could have been a little miracle for you. 

Driver - No AF for me either.....but really have AF symptoms....must be the DHEA. Gonna email Jinemed and see if they recommend still taking it.


----------



## purple72

Morning Ladies,

Driver hunny bump is coming along nicely thanks sweetie, as for how far north I go with work this week was Blackpool and Manchester, next week is Glasgow, so pretty far north I guess  

Hugs to everyone

XXX


----------



## Little Me

Purps -   

Thans S, a miracle would have been ncie but I can't imagine one ever happening    

Heaps   loads of places to choose from - where in Brum will you be?
xxx


----------



## purple72

Anne sweetie,

I'm so glad you have your Donor sorted sweetie, sorry test wasn't positive, but I think this year is YOUR year and in a couple of months you'll be one very happy lady!

Hugs to all xxx


----------



## H&amp;P

purple72 said:


> as for how far north I go with work this week was Blackpool and Manchester, next week is Glasgow, so pretty far north I guess


wow you get about a bit  , hope you are taking it easy with your precious cargo  If you ever passing Jct 41 on M1 you are less than 2 mins from my house so feel free to pop in for a coffee. (my surname used to be Wellwood and one of my friends nicknamed my house Welly Edge after the service station Wooley Edge just a few miles down from me as he always used to stop at mine rather than there for a coffee )

Mal - your welcome , and don't make me blush by saying such nice things, enjoy the 

Siobhan - I have just been to the loo totally convinced she was here, stomach cramps exactly like I always get with AF, but no still no sign but lots of  EWCM.......


----------



## Ocelot Cub

Hello all  

Very quickly wanted to say how proud I was of our Anne and Kate, about to embark on exciting journeys, I will be rooting for both my lovely friends and    that your suffering soon comes to an end and life truly begins for you both   

Huge hugs and kisses all round.

A xxxx


----------



## Little Me

Alls-   , in a good way   - Thank you , that means alot


----------



## Rockchick71

Hi to everyone,
Hope you dont mind me joining you all. I'm so all over the place at moment, don't know which path to take next. Its so uplifting + sad at times to read your comments etc, although i havn't gone to far back on page numbers.

I'm new to FF, so im not familiar with a lot of things.
Our situation is-
We already have a 5yr old dd after trying no time at all. However, 3 and a half yrs later of trying to give her a sibling-no luck. Had 4 failed iui attempts-2 natural, 1 clomid + the last with clomid + elleste. At that time they thought everything ok with me, my dh had variable sperm results + still has. 
We decided to go private- had my Amh done-only 3.41pmol/L indicating low ovarian reserve. They put me on SP 450iu, but i only had 1 dominant follicle of 20mm + 3 of 10mm. I usually have 1 on a natural cycle anyway. If i poorly respond again, our only hope is DE, they said.

Ive started to look into treatment abroad- Serum clinic in Athens- 60% success rates for DE.
Think hubby wants to try again with my egg, but i don't want to waste time or money.
Any views or advice on clinics or anything else would be great.
I wish you all, the very best of luck.
XX


----------



## fluffy jumper

Heaps, I am very sorry darling.    

Shortie.  Yay, you are back.  Please stay with us.  When will you fly out to reprofit?

Mags.  Sorry you are so majorly stressed at work on top of everything else you have to deal with. I do know how you feel, I find I am always given loads and loads of extra stressy work just before a cycle just when you could do without it.
I hope all goes well in Athens for both you and Swinny and you manage to enjoy yourselves.

RC.  Don't be too hard on yourself, yes you maybe lucky being pg but you have just lost a friend and if work isn't great then that adds to it.  Let RH look after you.

Malini.  Enjoy your hols.  I'm glad you are thinking of back up plans with DE, I hope you don't need them, but it is good to go on the list.

Jo Mac.  Where are you?

Anne.  sorry you didn't get your miracle.  Great news that you are going to be starting with your donor though.

Leola.  sorry about the mess up at your clinic.  The HFEA like to match CMV status with donor eggs and sperm.  Apparently clinics abroad don't bother with it just the HFEA, that said, they recomend a match of CMV status and don't insist on it.   I know all this is true of DE so am assuming it is the same with DS.  At CRM they say they try to match and it is quicker to match if you are CMV positive -dr google says 50-80% of the USA population is CMV positive.  Apparently it is mostly silent but if you catch it for the first time during pregnancy it can be very dangerous to the unborn child.  I presume that HFEA are worried that if you match a CMV negative mother with CMV postitve egg or sperm then you might be more likely to catch it during pregnancy?  maybe someone with a medical background can say if this is the case.
Have your clinic now tested you for CMV?

Rockchick.  DE is a big step if you are not ready to give up on your own eggs yet.  Some people have a cycle with only one or two eggs then go on to have a better cycle another month.  The Jinamed in Turkey and the Lister are the two clincs that get most recoemended to poor responders.
Only you can decide whether you are ready to move on.  Personally I had two cycles of only one egg then decided that I would probably never doi any better (I am 44 now).  Others will come on later and give you more advice.


I rang CRM yesterday and they said there are 6 people in front of me and they hope to find me a match in around a month - eeeek, I haven't even told Steve that I want another go.  I suppose I had better.  
As it might only be a month I might as well do a month of superovulation with Dr S.  He has prescribed Tamoxifen rather than clomid for days 3-7 of my cycle, I don't know why.
I am not quite sure why this superovulation, ie drugs, then scan then trigger shot then timed sex is any better than just timed sex using an ovulation monitor - anyone any idea?


----------



## H&amp;P

Rockchic - sorry you are having a rough time with secondary infertility, which clinic are you at? There are clinics in the UK that specialise in PR ladies ARGC or Lister spring to mind if you are based anywhere near London or don't mind the travel. The other option quite a few of the ladies here have used is the Jinemed in Turkey (or their sister clinic in Cyprus for DE also 60% success rate) who do great things with PR's but also offer what is known as a tandem cycle (won't go into the details in case you already know what that is but please ask if you don't) To me your AMH doesn't look that bad and I think your first step should maybe be a consulatation with another clinic to get a second opinion.

Heaps - Hope you have a fab time at the show and Anne sorts you out with a good location for a fab curry  

Tracey - not sure, maybe the drugs and trigger lead to a better egg and definate ovulation....got to be worth a shot (if we didn't have such bad male factor I would be giving it a go), wow 6 weeks that sounds quick    , think you better be sitting down with DH with a bottle of wine and his favourite food this weekend


----------



## Little Me

Hi Tracey darling - not sure on your ovulation question, sorry .
I have decided to stop using my monitor for the next cycles before my donor cycle as I feel like I'm just living my sex life (which is already limited   ) according to my monitor- if that makes sense. 
Wow, so not a long wait for you for your match   - I am   for some lovely luck Mrs xx
I know I won't know my peak days but if I get on it from day 9/16 I might hit lucky   ....oh, and pigs might fly too    
How's the shop?  

AM- heaps is going to our local balti  

Rockchick- welcome.i echo what Tracey & Driver have said


----------



## beachgirl

Ally    miss you lots sweetie...x


----------



## Ourturn

Rockchick - the fact you have had one child already and have not been able to concieve screams immune problems to me. In your shoes before embarking on ivf of any sort I would get level 1 and immune tests done. Level 1 tests check for things like blood clotting issues which may prevent implanation, you may be able to get these done on the nhs. For immunes I recommend Dr Gorgy in London who does the so called Chicago tests. 
Get on to amazon and order 'Is your body baby friendly'. Its quite common for ladies to develop immune issues after having one child. Tracey on here has had 2 children but tested positive for natural killer cells and needs steroids. (hope you don't mind me mentioning that Tracey)
Your amh is not that bad, low but by no means a disaster. 

Tracey - how exciting!

Anne - sorry it was a negative   But you will be pg soon hun  

Ally  

Driver - thanks for the pm

Heaps - hope you are ok

Malini - your outfit sounds fab! 

Rant worning

Woman at work (who knows about my situation) told me I should just enjoy life without kids (she has 3  ) and was moaning about how she didn't know how she would put hers through uni, I said I couldn't imagine a life without kids, especially as I losses. She said well maybe I should get professional help. I said we might adopt...she said her friends had just been turned down for adoption as the dh had taken drugs when younger, and that they were getting v strict with would be adopters because of baby p. Excuse me just because her friends got turned down doesn't mean we will   Driving back the more 
To top it off pretty sure my boss has her sights on getting rid of me. Wants me to think about whether I want this job and can rise to the challenge. Said if I had wanted to do another tx she would have suggested I take sabatical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a feeling she is sick of my IF related treatment..but I take leave for medical appointments ffs. I have mentioned needing a laparoscopy & hysterscopy. Not great timing but if I'm going to lose my job, I need to do it asap so my works health care covers it! At the same time she was being super nice and killing me with kindness...saw her do this with someone else a year or 2 ago (but she was a nightmare) and she was paid off in the end. 
And finally got my cytokines retest result and my numbers which weren't that bad to begin with and should have been lowered after x2 shots of humira have wait for it SHOT UP! Have posted on Mr G's thread to get some help. 
Really feel like everything is against me at the moment!  

Anna x


----------



## Little Me

Oh Anna- For F's sake what a load of crap you have on hun   
Wish I could help


----------



## Ourturn

Thanks Anne

RC - sorry meant to give you a few of these           Your hormones must be making things worse too


----------



## Spuds

Girls - not sure if this will get through- just to say thinking of you and will get on line next week in Jersey xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spuds
xxxx


----------



## fluffy jumper

Oh Anna you poor thing.  I can't believe your colleague, what is she thinking, I hate people who have kids saying that if you dn't you should count your blessings and just get on with life.  they have absolutely no clue.
As for your boss, if you had just told her you had gyne medical problems she wouldn't be able to say these things.  Especially as you say you take leave for if appointments rather than going sick.  I hope it works out OK.

Anne. I think you are doing the right thing in not using your monitor.

Something to make you all laugh.  I decided to have that controversial chyalmidia test using menstrual bloood.  Unfortunately i only managed to get a sample pot today on day 3 when my period is quite light.  I decided to sit on the loo and hold the sample pot in place and wait for some blood to come out.  While waiting I suddenly needed a wee and peed all over my hand.  To make matters worse I didn't collect enough blood for the sample.  I will have to wait for next month now  - assuming this monitored cycle doesn't result in a miracle BFP.


----------



## Ourturn

Tracey -     . My af was stop start so used a moon cup on day 4 and TMI Alert..had to scrape it into the pot using a teaspoon. It was a TINY amount but they still managed to test it. 
x


----------



## fluffy jumper

Anna.  I wish I hadn't just thrown away my small amount now.  I didn't want to spend £20 on a moon cup I probably wouldn't use again.  Somone suggested wringing out a tampon!  I don't get on wth tampons, they seem to work their way almost out so a moon cup would probably be the same.

Also, I just looked at my notes and I am meant to take tamoxifen days 2 - 5 but I have started on the afternoon of day 3 (or 3 and a half if you take into account AF arrived in full flow half way through a day and I counted the following day as day 1).
Does anyone have an opinion if it matters?


----------



## Ourturn

Test result is in and its positive for hidden C! Sh*t, Fiffin bollx! 

I wonder if its the hidden C which has caused all my immune issues? 

Both dh and I will need to start on a 26 day course of antib's with no diary or alchohol.

He's going to love that not!


----------



## Ourturn

Tracey - can't help you re tamoxifen. If you do have hidden C like me you would need to reuse the moon cup for a retest. I might need to retest up to 3 times!   It can take up to 3 one month courses of antib's to shift


----------



## Rural Chick

Ladies           

Thank you all so much for your kind words - I'm not sure what I've done to deserve such wonderful friends. I promise to do lots of persos over the weekend.


----------



## Malini

This is for Anna     You have had a wretched week in a horrid month and have so much to deal with that it is hurting my head so I can only imagine how you feel.  Answers are a good thing but your mind must be whirling with 'had I known', 'if only' and they are hard thoughts to stop but we must all try to somehow.  As for your colleague, she must suffer from some sort of insensitivity disorder.  I know more successful adopters than otherwise - yes it is tough but not impossible - and as for getting 'professional help' well she should look herself in the mirror.  To be blessed as she has been and unable to see how lucky she is despite the worries and hardship is a problem.  You, on the other hand, have been dedicated to work, your life and your dreams and we are in awe of that.  You stepped in to help someone when your heart was being battered AGAIN and you have always considered work when taking leave as per your posts to us.  They should be very careful because your case for a tribunal hearing is growing by the minute.  It makes me so angry.  I hope this weekend has some jolly in it and let's get on project puppy.  You need something to cheer you up.  Love to you, Malini xxx


----------



## Han72

hiya just a quickie to say FIRKIN' ELL DINNA!!! Please let me come round and hand out some http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q214/shellebell_01/Web%20Pics/*****_slap_msn.gif what a stupid cow! She must be brain damaged or summat to come out with something so crass!

re the POXY cytokines, ask Dr G if he wouldn't just try you on some pred? 20mg/day + eskimo oil seems to have done the trick for me! Humira did exactly the same in my case, made the levels spike, so I just don't see the point in spending so much dosh on something if steroids can do the job just as well... 

Oh gawd, they're bawling at me to come downstairs and drink alcohol, it'd be rude not to really! Will try and sneak back on in a bit for a proper catch up!

Oh hey Mal - packed yet  

Love to all!

xxx


----------



## purple72

Oh AnnaSB hunny! So sorry to here what a [email protected] week you've had! I know jack sh1t about immunes, but our Nix is an expert so maybe steroids and eskimo oil? As for hidden C bless you Bless you Bless you it doesn't just rain for you it pours, hopefully you'll only need one course of Anti B's and Fingers crossed that has been your issue!

As For your Work and colleague  well I wish I could do Nix's ***** slap icon cos that's what they need!!

Hugs to everyone else xx


Sx


----------



## fluffy jumper

Anna, you must be so fed up with the issues that have been thrown at you. I can't imagine my DH giving up dairy and alcohol (booze would be easy it would be the dairy). Why no dairy with the anti b's?

Nix, hope you enjoyed your drinks. What visitors do you have? nice ones i hope?



Rural Chick said:


> Ladies
> 
> Thank you all so much for your kind words - I'm not sure what I've done to deserve such wonderful friends. I promise to do lots of persos over the weekend.


RC, you have been kind, wise and incredibly funny to lift our spirits when we need it - that is what you have done to deserve good friends.

I hope everyone has somethign fun planned for their Friday night. I am trying to catch up on all the jobs I should have done over he last couple of weeks when I have been giong to bed early on the nights I haven't been out.


----------



## Züri

just a quickie to say so sorry for your sh!te day/week Anna - it all just piles up and up doesn't it, one thing after another - but remember it makes us stronger people in the long run - one day we'll look back and see how tough we all are to be dealing with all this, doesn't help the hear and now though 

The hidden chlamydia is really worrying, I did have it several years ago undetected which is obviously what  my tubes up  wondering it I should get tested although no chance over here  

Malini when do you go?

Ally lovely to hear from you xx

Jersey good luck with the move, envious if you moving to Jersey, I love that place x

Right off for an early night, exhausted

xx


----------



## fluffy jumper

Zuri, is ec tomorrow?  hidden chlamydia is contaversial.  Penny at Serum Athens belives it but I haven't heard of anyone else who does except Dr G?  there is a tread about it somewhere.  i don't know what to think but guess I only have 200 euros to lose.


----------



## Ourturn

Zuri - you can have the test done directly with Penny at Serum. You post a sample of mentrsual blood with a teaspoon of sterile water in a pot to athens and they test it. Cost is just 200 euros. I will pm you a pm Diane sent me with all the details and a link to the thread.

Tracey - my nhs consultant is testing for hidden c via uterine biospsy so it is known over here but sounds like they do not treat it aggressively enough...ie only prescribe a 10 day course of antib's

Thanks for your support lovely ladies 

I e-mailed Penny and she asked me to call her. She was at home and it was 9pm her time and did not charge me! What an amazing woman..so kind. I do need a hysteroscopy and will need the scar tissue removing as the C may still be living it and antib's don't always clear it. If the consultant does not do this I will have it done in athens. 
She said 3 months after my C has been cleared my immunes should be sorted. No need for steroids, IVIG or anything! I will obviously retest all my immunes at this point but if that is the case how amazing would that be! She thinks I will probably fall pregnant naturally and would not recommend ivf at first. Only worry is that C can damage egg quality and cause premature ovarian failure. 
IF I don't fall pregnant I will definately donor egg ivf with her. Her success rates are 60%. She said with me if I did de after clearing C via antib's and hysteroscopy would be more than 70%. 
She said she hope's I do not need de ivf and asked me to let her know if I do fall pg after clearing the C. Said to dh that if that happens she will get a lot more than an e-mail...a huge boquet of flowers for starters!

I am daring to hope again! 

Anna x


----------



## Züri

Anna sounds so positive, why on earth have UK clinics not picked up on this? or Swiss for that matter!

Glad to hear you sounding positive x

Yes Tracey in the morning - will update you all how it went. I have been having lots of discharge since about Tues before trigger shot, i don't remember this last time   i it normal?

x


----------



## fluffy jumper

Anna.  Fantastic news Anna.  Lets hope your consultant clears any scar tissue.  You deserve things to go smoothly for you for a change.

Zuri.  Loads of people post to say they have lots of EWCM and worry that they are going to ov before EC but it is always OK.  Good luck.  Will be checking in for your post to say you have loads of lovely eggs tomorrow


----------



## purple72

AnnaSB Sounds like you have someone determined to get you pregnant! With her help sounds like it'll happen sooner rather than later!

Zuri good luck for EC tomorrow hunny, and yes lots of EWCM is normal it's the rising E2!

Tracey so exciting that only 6 in front of you now! Fingers crossed they cycle quickly!

Love to all xxx


----------



## laurab

Zuri - I think that is a very good sign.  

Tracey - I would LOVE a visit from you and Max!   Let me have some dates.    We could meet in the middle somewhere is easier?

Anna -   Surely this C positive could be a good thing? Maybe this has been the issue and some simple anti-bs will sort everything out.  

Heaps - How are you doing sweetie? 

Spuds - All ready?

Mal - Ohhhhh holiday... is it tom? 

Anyoe heard from Pix?

Ally - You still reading... if so...   

Shortie - You back with us for good?

Thats the best I can do before my wine!   Off to open it now.


----------



## Little Me

Quick one from me  

Laura- I emailed Pix today but no reply as yet, she's a busy young chick these days
Enjoy your wine  

Anna-  

Mal- Not sure when you're off but if it;s tomorrow have a WONDERFUL time  

Z- Millions of luck for tomorrow hun  

Housework all done, jason enroure with the boys, had my tea- pitta bread and cucumber followed by Ambrosia rice          
Watching the street.......does anyone think Gail Tilsley/platt/McIntire looks like a bird?     I wonder what she has for her tea.... Trill?    

meeting my bessy mate in town tomorrow for a girly catch up and some grub.......have lovely weekends lovlies
xxxxxxxxxx


----------



## laurab

Am watching too Anne... not watched it for months bit lost!


----------



## Ourturn

Anne - yes she does!


----------



## mag108

Leola: very sorry, that is totally frustrating. And quite bizarre you werent told before. xxx You are totally correct to rant, and feel frustrated and p***ed off 

Anne: kisses. Saw your ** post and glad you are being really taken care of! 

Izzlu: glad u feeling a bit better. 

Driver: xx 

Heaps: hope you are doing ok. It'll atke time I know. Enjoy the show! 

Purps: I am 2mins from jtn 17 on the M62! Call in! x

Ally: kisses to you. I dont think I responded to your last post, sorry about that. I hope things are settling down a bit, big hug  

Tracy: thks for your kind words. RE TX That is really soon! Afraid the superovlaution q is out of my depth. Re Yuk test, my AF ended early so couldnt get a sample!

Rockchic: I cannot right now be of much help (being post op I am out of it) but I am sure you will get good advice here.

Sobroody: I am really sorry about that + test. It must feel like all uphill challenges. But my goodness what a fabulous response from Penny and poss outcome! You are to be commended for getting yourself tested. Sounds like the missing link.

My god what a cow your colleague is. Very insensitive. WHAT does she know? Sweet F all. Re your boss: very sorry to hear you think she is trying to get rid. I am sure like me, you work incredibly hard to make up for the fact that you have times when you are not there. The way I figure it IF is an illness. Plenty of people where I work have time off for ongoing treatment, or, one woman in particular who is constantly off with colds (and she is shoddy with her work too). Mine has also run out of sympathy, the distinct whiff of 'what are you going on about now'.


Ladies thanks to you all for your kind words of support. It means alot to me.
So today went ok. We were told yesterday eve I was booked in for a morning slot and to get there for 7:30am but in fact when we got there we were told, no, we were on the afternon slot so come back at 11.

Precedure (hysteroscopy) was at 3.30pm, I was a little nervous (just because it was a general anaesthetic), the procedure itself was diagnostic.

Got to see Dr Nardo pretty much straight away. I have something called a uterine septum which is completely treatable (the same op again to remove it, very straightforward).
Its relatively common. Juts have to wait for the next op (and have to postpone the IVF cycle which technically I have already started, ah well.) Would have like to have found this out a yr or two ago but again, hey ho. 
Was starting my time off work stint but thats not going to work now if I have to wait to start cycle. Who mentioned uphill battle?!


----------



## Züri

Sorry Mags I forgot you had your op today (brain is frazzled this cycle) glad they have found something to fix even if it is frustrating due to already starting your cycle - but getting this fixed could well lead to your BFP - wishing you lots of luck and I hope you feel better soon. Your life sounds so hectic and full of stress, I fully understand the stress being in the same line of work, it's never easy xx

Right off to bed, shattered

Will let you know how tomorrow goes 

xxx


----------



## laurab

Mags - An answer, fantastic.   

Zuri - Sleep tight, good luck for tom.


----------



## mag108

thks Laura, how are u?

Zuri: good luck for tomorrow!
x


----------



## laurab

Yeah all good here thanks. Ho you feeling? Sore?   I'm odd, i love GA.  There is something lovely about it when they count backwards and you kno your gonna go to sleep.  Does that make me a weirdo?


----------



## shortie66

Just a quick one to give       to mags and leola.

Zuri good luck for 2moz    

Laura i love ga too best sleep i had in ages


----------



## Züri

laurab said:


> Yeah all good here thanks. Ho you feeling? Sore?  I'm odd, i love GA. There is something lovely about it when they count backwards and you kno your gonna go to sleep. Does that make me a weirdo?


Yayyyyyyy I have finally found someone as weird as me!  I love GA also and love the whole operation procedures, I found it exciting and interesting all 3 times - I know I am nuts 

Looking forward to my short GA today


----------



## Ourturn

Mag - glad your issue is fixable   Good luck in Greece, safe journey! 

Zuri - good luck     pm'ing you now. 

Anna x


----------



## Little Me

Morning all....quick one from me while I feed the hungry cats  

Zuri- Lots of luck today  

Morning Anna  

Sarah & Mag- LOTS of luck for Athens  

love to all
xxxxxx


----------



## Rural Chick

Morning ladies

Will catch up properly later

           for Zuri today

           for Swinny and Mags on your trips to Athens

         to everyone - see you all later


----------



## laurab

Good luck Zuri... enjoy your kip!


----------



## Lilly7

Morning Ladies,

Thanks for all the commiseration's.  . I still feel very peed off about it all . . and am not sure quite how to go forwards. Am wondering if we should just take the risk with DP's sperm.

Veda, Thanks for the prayer.   I hope the nights are going ok. I did them for a while in my last job and found they really took it out of me. How are the wedding plans going? As for CMV, it is Cytomegalovirus, and as such a high percentage of people have been exposed to it, it is far more common (and in my situation better) to test positive. I think Traceys post explains the rest very well. x

Driver and Beachie; I have PM'd you both.  

Heaps,  I hope you have a great time at the NEC. 

Malini, Thanks so much for your post. Your a Star. x
Can you believe it though    !!! after the complaint I made, and everything else!!! Grrr. It really irks me. Still, it's a good point that an extra few months or so will give the TCM extra time to hopefully work it's magic.    
Sadly DP's sperm can't be frozen. I don't quite understand it, but the way they have to obtain it from him is a more involved process than it is for some men who need TESE and apparently it doesn't work to freeze when sperm have been obtained in this way.  
When are you off on your sunny hols?  

Tracey, Wooo Hoooo for only 6 people in front of you!     and good luck with telling DH.    
Thanks for all the very helpful info. I'm sure that your reasoning re the HFEA and CMV is exactly right.   Interesting that clinics abroad don't test for it!? I've had bloods taken now and apparently the results take a week to come back.

AnnaSB, I'm so sorry about your insensitive colleague. As if IF isn't hard enough without having to deal with that as well. I am    that your worries about your boss prove to be unfounded.    

Mag, Thanks for your words.   I'm glad the op went ok. It's good that you were allowed out last night, after my op I couldn't wee so the made me stay in. Sorry that tx has to be postponed but glad that the uterine septum (I haven't heard of that before . . will have to look on Google) is easy to sort.

Hi Shortie, So nice to have you back with us.  

Zuri,     for today. x

Can anyone tell me more about hidden Chylamidia? 

Love to Anne, Purple, Siobhan, Ally, Rockchic, Nix, RC, Laura, and everyone else.


----------



## IzziLu

It's official definately wierdos - loving GAs? I brick it every time!     

Zuri - I've definitely missed you so hope the EC has gone well and looking forward to your report of good news       

Mags and Swinny, have probably missed you too but all the best for Athens and Mags glad that the Hysto found something easily treatable, makes procedures like that seem worthwhile when they turn up something  

Tracey - great news that your tx is getting so close - have you managed to break it to DH yet? 

Driver - any sign of AF, did Heaps' fab dance (with merlin thrown in) do any good?  

Heaps    

AnnaSb, so sorry about your troubles at work, I think we could all do with Nix's slap emoticon sometimes!  Like Malini said you'll have a good case for tribunal if it ever comes to that although that's no consolation if you enjoy your job    I've been reading your chat about the hidden chlamydia thing with interest and concern (and had a giggle at the sample collection antics  ) Sorry about your result  but if it turns out to be the answer to your problems that's fantastic  .  Got me wondering whether I should do the test too as I tested positive prior to tx and had the short course of anti bs although no damage showed up at my lap - would you expect to see evidence of it at a lap?   Also of course chlamydia can be associated wih cystitis symptoms which might explain a lot!   liking the odds once you get it sorted though  

Wierd thing last night. DH and I went out for a drink with some buddies (non-alcoholic beer for me! ) Had to stop the car on the way home for DH to empty the contents of his stomach (sorry) he's never been sick through alcohol, then I woke up at 2.30 with pain I can only describe as some one squeezing a vice around all my internal organs from my ribs to my womb - I've never felt anything like it, it was agony and went on in waves for two hours then just stopped.  Woke up this morning feeling like I'd done 500 stomach crunches (wish I had, could do with them at the moment) but other than that fine!.  DH is convinced we had our drinks spiked but I'm sure I never let go of my lovely non-alcoholic beer all night! Wierd  

Anyway wishing you all fab weekends and love to everyone    

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Little Me

Morning Leola & Izzi- Izz, sounds to me like you had cholic last night, espicially as you said it came in waves. I suffered with it from about October to Jan this year and it's really painful.
Hope hubby feels better too


----------



## IzziLu

Sorry Leola, so rude of me not to mention you although I don't have the knowledge to suggest any answers.  I can't believe you have been mucked about so badly    especially after already making a complaint and I'm not surprised you're still pee'd off. When you say risk it with DHs sperm do you mean without back-up DS? By how much would that affect your odds or have you not got any indication of that?   I hope you manage to make a decision and move forward and it all works out for the best     

Morning Anne   Colic, I thought that was what babies got?   Anything you can do about it? Sorry you've had it too, it was bl**dy painful that's for sure


----------



## Little Me

Hi Izz- babies do get it but it's common in adults too...I found paracetamol eased it
xxx


----------



## IzziLu

Thanks Anne, I'll remember that if it strikes again   Any idea what brings it on? 

xXx


----------



## purple72

I'm part of the crazy gang too, I love GA's and the wonderful sleep xxx


----------



## IzziLu

Sorry Purps, definitely crazy!


----------



## Züri

loved the GA just wish the woozy feeling just before you go under lasted longer - last i remember was them clamping the oxygen mask on my face then waking up thinking why have you woken me I want to sleep longer.

What wasn't nice was that AGAIN no veins and the IV had to go in the vein on my wrist - needles and anything like this don't bother me but that vein on the inside of my wrist is just NOT for a needle to be put in  throbbing a bit now

anyway EC went well, thanks for all your thoughts girls, wont know any more news until I go in for transfer on Tuesday now - fingers crossed xxx


----------



## IzziLu

Zuri, glad you enjoyed the GA (crazy!) and glad the EC went well. Never had the IV in the wrist before, that sounds ouchy   Know you're keeping your details quiet from a sensitivity point of view but hope you got lots and lots of good eggies and all goes well in the lab of lurve tonight        Perhaps you'll post tomorrow with an update after your phonecall?   I'm sure everyone would love to hear, I know I would!  

IzziLu xXx


----------



## Züri

IzziLu said:


> Zuri, glad you enjoyed the GA (crazy!) and glad the EC went well. Never had the IV in the wrist before, that sounds ouchy  Know you're keeping your details quiet from a sensitivity point of view but hope you got lots and lots of good eggies and all goes well in the lab of lurve tonight       Perhaps you'll post tomorrow with an update after your phonecall?  I'm sure everyone would love to hear, I know I would!
> 
> IzziLu xXx


unfortunately Izzi over here we don't get phonecalls - I will know how many were mature fertilised etc... on Tuesday when i go for transfer. Also here they are not allowed to freeze embryos that are more than 24 hours old so they will freeze all but 3 tomorrow and leave the 3 remaining (if there are 3 remaining) to develop until Tuesday

I got 3 more eggs than last EC


----------



## shortie66

Wooohooooo well done Zuri hunny


----------



## beachgirl

Great news Zuri     rest up tonight hun x


----------



## Malini

That's fab Zuri. Congrats. Will be willing you on from my hols.

Mag - more waiting ... But I am pleased they have found smthg ... Eventually! Hope recovery is smooth and working out the time off issues goes alright.

Tracey - so soon!!!

And to all HUGS and KISSES. We leave tomorrow am so I'll post again when I am back in 7 days.

Malini xx


----------



## shortie66

Mallini have a lovely time darling, be proud and show that gorgeous body of ur's on that beach in ur bikini knowing that in ur own mind u are not as fat as me


----------



## Swinny

Hey girlies

Zuri     Hope all goes well for Tuesady and everything is all Barry White in the lab tonight. I am in the crazy gang too and love the gorgeous sleep with a GA...it's defo the way forward.

SB - Well done you  

Beachy   Good to chat last night chicky and thanks for the well wishes for Athens. Hope you won at Bingo.

AM - Any sign yet?? Did you enjoy Bingo my lovely??  

Malini - Have a fantastic holiday gorgeous  

Hello to the whole gang   sorry for lack of personals but i will catch up when we get back 

Just packed my bag for our girly trip to   Athens.
Bye for now

Sarah xxx


----------



## purple72

Zuri Congratulations sweetie, fingers crossed you have a good nights sleep tonight too!!

Malini and Swinny good luck for your trips ladies

Hello to everyone else

Sx


----------



## Little Me

Well done Z xxx

Sarah and mag lots of luck girls xxxx

xxx


----------



## laurab

Zuri - Well done my love.  Can you imagine if you could be in that lovely woozy state all day.... ahhhh. Hoping all the gamates are getting it on in the lab of love tonight.

Mal - Have a wonderful holiday.... wish I was coming with you!  

Swins - Have lovely time too..

I'm ashamed to say I think I'm going to go to bed in a minute.... how sad is that but I'm shattered.


----------



## Little Me

Mal have a perfect holiday love   

n'night lovely Laura


----------



## Züri

Laura I get in almost that state with my husbands special cookies  it us a lovely feeling though - just wish it lasted longer. Have a lovely sleep, 8.30 is early! 

malini have a wonderful holiday x

night night all i am heading to bed soon too but it i am an hour ahead 

x


----------



## popsi

just quickly as cant keep up  

zuri.. thats lovely news honey xxx

mal and swinny have lovely holidays xx

anne.. how are you darling  

shortie.. lovely to see your posts again today xx

purps.. how are you feeling honey xx

laura.. sleep tight honey xx

annasb, driver, donkey, annofc, nix, tracey, LJ, mir, ... and EVERYONE ... hope your all having a nice weekend xx

AFM... well things are still going brilliantly, but so so busy she is into everything now, walking round furniture and copying everything we do !!.. thankfully she sleeps for 13 hours with only one or two lost dummy moments which are sorted in a sec xx hope you all get to be as lucky VERY soon xxxx

right off now as having a couple of glasses of wine tonight xx


----------



## laurab

Special cookies??    They sound just the thing to go with my cup of tea!    One day I will tell you about my visit to Anne Franks House in Amsterdam after a rather nice brownie...... I'm too ashamed to tell the world on an open wensite, but maybe one day in the pub after a few glasses I will tell you all about it!


----------



## popsi

aww Laura.. you tease !!!!


----------



## Züri

Laura you did well to get to the Anne Frank museum, we didn't get past the skunk museum  I have to say of all the museums I have been dragged to in my life that one was the best 

Heaps can your hubby sneak some if those nice drugs home . Funny you expect the doctors to know how it feels but my IVF doc today asked me how it feels when i told him it was nice. He's never had a GE

swinny enjoy your trip too x

Popsi sounds like you are having a lovely time with your family x


----------



## Ourturn

Katies back!       

Zuri - well done hun! What a mare not getting updates! Hope your their some lurve action happening in the lab!     

Malini - have a lovely time!  

Swinny and Mag - good luck in Athens!

Popsi - so glad things are going well.

Heaps - do you keep an eye on your levels to ensure you are on the right does of thyroxine?

Laura - I would like a special brownie! 

hi Anne, Purps et all 

DH have enjoyed a very nice bottle of red with home made lasagne (with a ragu made with italian sauage & minced beef) seeing as well soon be dairy and alchohol free when on the antib's. 

I finally got my bikini line waxed (well overdue) followed by the best facial. She also gave me a head and shoulder massage...bliss and my skin looks brill. 

But still feeling very sad. If I hadn't caught C all those years ago, I would have had 2 babies by now  

x


----------



## laurab

SB -   I feel the same I had C too and thats what buggered my tubes and caused my ectopic.   But I wouldn't change a thing now and in a few years when your sprogs are running around you will think that too.


----------



## popsi

SB>.. enjoy your food and wine honey xx

Laura.. why are you still up !!! x


----------



## lucky_mum

Hi all! back from MIL's - not read back all the pages yet but just wanted to say -

Heaps - very sorry, how could I have missed you off my personals on last message  - and so, so sorry that it was a negative hon, am absolutely gutted for you  sending you huge


----------



## Malini

Thanks all for your good wishes for my holiday. I am excited but will miss you all.

Shortie - I'd never think that!! You're a beautiful woman and I am not comparing just struggling with the changes in my body bc of IF and all of that. I will be wishing so much for you.

And you too Anne, Driver, Swinny, Donkey for cycles about to start. And Mags I hope you won't be too far behind.

I miss AOC and have packed one of her books for my hols.

Heaps - My private villa is no longer with pool, special price got pulled, and we decided a lovely, secluded verandah would suit us just fine. Sorry about the flood - makes it all so real - but glad you're feeling lighter. Look forward to meeting up soon.

Special wishes for Zuri. According to Sher the fewer times you remove the eggs/embryos from the oven the better for them. But if they're freezing after 24 hours, surely it wouldn't kill them to call. Think you're off to a spa tomorrow, enjoy! 

Night, night Laura.

Special wishes Nix for next week. Will call you as soon as I'm back.

Mash - Hope you're safe n sound in your new home.£

Best wishes everyone. I need to get tucked in for my early start but I think of you all always.

M xxx


----------



## lucky_mum

Zuri - well done lovey!  - so glad your egg amount doubled! hope you get great fertilisation tonight and good luck for ET   

AnnaS - sorry you found that you got C at some stage  - but is good to have an answer and I have to say Penny sounds fantastic - I lurked on the Serum thread before I had DE tx, as was thinking of going there if Reprofit didn't work, and the girls there have always really raved about her. I hope so, so much for you that that like our lovely Laura (and myself for that matter!) you will find that you have no regrets one day and the past really won't matter as you wouldn't swap the baby/babies that you have for the world 

Yay!!!! Katie's back!  Katie - you asked me by PM on ** about baby aspirin - will answer you here as ** playing up for me for some reason - am pretty sure you start taking it a couple of days before ET - as far as I remember I think I started on EC day, which ended up being 5 days before ET as we went to blasts - does anybody else know for sure? (I'm so sorry hon, will sound daft but I struggle to remember what happened on my DE tx (only 18 months ago!  ) it seems like a separate lifetime, all I remember is that once I knew what I was to take and when, it all felt so easy compared with an OE cycle!

Lots of love to all - hope you are enjoying your weekends, in spite of the  - clocks go forward next weekend woohoo! I love Spring!


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## popsi

heaps darling.. my back is much better now, just general aching from carrying 20lbs a day around !.. you wait you will know darling.. and as for the Whiskey .. good for you my late precious Dad loved a tipple... as does my Mum now.. wont drink anything else at all !! dont you dare edit your posts its beautiful as are you xx

Mal... any room in your case for me   

Steph.. how is your beautiful daughter xx


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## lucky_mum

Pops - she is absolutely scrummy! how is yours?! 

She is so close to crawling - she scoots about backwards quite fast now, or rocks on all fours - her personality is really coming out now and she is very funny, she seems to have a great sense of humour - a truly happy little soul! she is the light of our lives and I love her soooo much!


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## fluffy jumper

Laura, when you were posting saying you were goinng to bed last night, I was already in bed.  I had one glass of wine then felt so tired I put Max to bed and went straight to bed myself.  DH was delighted as it meant he could play his x box without me commenting.  
Still haven't discussed the DE cycle  

Zuri.  Well done on those eggs.  I can't believe how little info you get in Switz it must be a nerve wracking time between now and ET.  

Swinny and Mag.  Have a safe trip.

Popsi.  Glad to hear your back is better and DD is so gorgeous.  You sound so happy.

Heaps.  My DH wants to go to the gaget to show too.  He should have opened a gaget shop not a toy shop.
Sorry your AF is so heavy, I hope it eases soon.

Anna.  Don't beat yourself up.  I too had C years ago and to be honest I am very lucky I didn't catch something much worse.  I took far too many risks in the past.  At least you have had the tenacity to do all this research and you hopefully have a solution.  Many would have just given up.
What did DH say when you told him he had to give up dairy and alcohol while on the anti b's?

Nix, I hope you have time to keep us posted.  I know the ARGC will take up most of your time.

Shortie.  I was told to take baby aspirin from EC.  

Just off to have some brekkie


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## Züri

Heaps said:


> I have a problem in my life dealing with people who have had a wonderful smooth life and had no hurdles... they don't get me and I feel that they have no depth. And maybe I am just a little bit jealous.


Heaps I so agree with this comment - I have far too many friends who have had things easy and they really do have no depth and struggle to cope when something tragic happens to another friend - they always ask me why and how I deal with these things so well and why I find it so easy to speak to grieving friends - I say it's because life hasn't been smooth for me in some areas - I think people are stronger, better people if they have had to struggle through things, it gives you empathy where others don't posses it.

I also know the feeling of beating myself up because of having C in a previous life and therefore that being to blame for my knackered tubes - it makes me feel so ashamed 

Malini have a fantastic trip - i am not sure what you meant re taking the embryos out of the oven? Also I have no idea who or where to call, their offices will be closed today anyway so i wouldn't know where to call - if i called tomorrow he'd just tell me to wait till Tues - they are so different over here with giving information - they prefer to give non so as not to create any tension - for example if he told me on Wednesday exactly how many follies I had and the measurements and forecasted how many eggs they might collect - it would all have been information ovreload which would create undue worrying and stress if the result was not as he thought - I think he believes it's wrong to divulge too much for these reasons, keep me (he thinks) in blissful less stressed ignorance  - can sort of agree with it and if i wasn't on this forum i'd accept it but as i hear so many of you armed with so much information on your cycles it makes me feel frustrated

Oh and the Spa was last weekend with my mum  they have lots of public thermal out door pool here so they are not really posh spas but they are very lovely and relaxing 

Hi Steph thanks for the good wishes - my follies were double last cycle but my eggs collected weren't - i got 3 more than last time  I am still very thankful and grateful after initially being told i had a poor egg reserve WTF!?

Does anyone else feel a bit at a loss between EC and ET? it's a bit limbo land and I feel a bit weird with my emotions? I have never been one for maternal thoughts but nurturing those eggs last week sort of had me feeling the maternal way for a brief moment about the eggs and i oddly feel sad they have been removed - i think I am going nuts - maybe I have had one too many cookies in the past  

xxxx


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## Ourturn

Zuri - I found the time between ec and et TORTURE! Its really tough. Try and relax somehow. Can you get a nice massage or facial? Totaly agree with friends who have had no struggles not being supportive. One old uni friend knew about my mc' but invited herself up for the weekend without teling me in advance that she was 20 weeks pg! I had just lost my 4th after seeing a hb. That weekend was torture! I have kept her at arms lenth ever since . 
Thanks for your kind words. I jut feel like life has always been a struggle (dad dying young, mum being bipolar etc) feel like I have been tested enough and deserve a break! Maybe clearing the C will finally give me that break  


Tracey - not that it matters but I have been wracking my brain to understand when I caught it. I always used condoms except for 2 long term relationships including dh. The previous guy has had a daughter fairly recently so unlikely to be him. I took the morning after pill twice around 14 years ago due to lost condoms (grim) so that must have been it. Highly unlikely as I got it from dh as whilst I had a few partners before meeting him, whilst dh has not spoken about it, I don't think he had more than 2 partners. We have never had that conversation and I think its best we don't! 
DH has been abolutely brilliant! He actually sees it as a positive and belives we have our answer. He said he doesn't care how I got it and that it could have been him (though I know thats VERY unlikely) We have started a health drive anyway which included cutting down on alchohol so he see it as no big deal. Luckily we will have finished our 1t lot of antib's just before our anniversay weekend awau and my sisters wedding. The retest will not happen until after we get back from egypt, so we will be able to take advantage of the free booze! 

Laura - I should class myself as lucky as it has not effected my tubes....8 losses and (touch wood) non have been ectopic. Looks like it lurked high in the uterus. So I know I can get pg naturally. I was on antib's for bad skin when I was younger so that, whilst not killing off the C may have dampened it down a bit.

Steph - thanks for your kind words. Yes Penny is one amazing lady. I have never spoken to a consultant before who cares so much. Not only that but she has the expertise/knowledge so many in the uk are lacking. Vivvy is sooo cute..she could be in adverts. 

Popsi - motherhood suits you!

Shortie - when do you go

Morning all 

Have worked out what caused my rash...a new shower gel! Stopped using it and my rash is much better! 

Anna x


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## Little Me

Anna hun, your hub is a gem, and I hope you're feeling better    

Heaps- Hope you're feeling better love? Your words were lovely by the way   

Tracey- hi gorgeous  

Z- Hope all ok? xx


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## fluffy jumper

Anna.  In penny's email she said that although C is sexually transmitted it is not the only way.  Your DH sounds like a dream.

Hi, Anne.  Hope you are having a good weekend.

There is absolutely no justice in this world.  I have just heard that someone on another thread who had two rounds of IVF, one with a miscarriage, her husband has just died.  He had cancer but was in and out of remission.  i know from my own experience that had she been pg now it would have been easier to deal with.  There is absolutely no fairness at all.


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## Ourturn

Tracey - that's so said  

Anne  

DH has been very good with this whole IF journey and always said he married me because he wanted to to spend his life with me and kids would be a bonus. I know I'm very luck as not all DH's handle it as wellThing is I know he would make a great dad and would love us to have a family.

x 

Tracey - we did have nookie in a pool once.(it was private!)..wonder if that did it


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## Spuds

Girls

Still thinking of you all xxxx we are off at 4am for Jersey Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Spuds
xxxx


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## Züri

girls just had an awful evening   went out on a date with hubby - decided i'd have a couple of drinks seeing as i am between EC and ET. We were in a bar chatting about everything and it just erupted - I stormed out and threw the house keys at him - didn't go for the meal now sat in separate rooms and i feel sick. I am so hurt and let down and upset - I just don't know what to think or feel anymore

it all blew up because he went out after work on Friday and I asked him to not drink as it was EC the next day and he had to do a sample and he said he'd just have a couple, in the end he didn't - but we were discussing it tonight and he started saying it was just a couple and he had no idea he had to do a sample next day - it was egg collection for fvcks sake! where was he last cycle

so angry - basically at this moment in time what's been said we are over and i just want to scream

;(


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## purple72

Oh Zuri hunny I really feel for you, Lot's of the ladies on here will tell you me and my DH often fall out at the very worse times during a cycle, I've come to realise that he gets just as stressed as me in some ways even more so during a cycle as he feels so out of control and unfortunately it all comes out the wrong way and I end up feeling like I'm alone. He usually say's he's leaving! But in fact usually within 24 hrs we have defrosted and one or the other of us bites our lip and makes the first move. Doesn't matter who as it always turns out we both feel terrible. So hang in there. IT IS NOT OVER this is unfortunately just some men's way of expressing their stress! 

Big hugs xxxxx


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## Ourturn

Zuri - hopefully Purps has made you feel better       You are not over. As purps said he is reacting to the stress of the situation and your hormones are raging, Him acting like this when you need the most support is not helping Its annoying but a couple of drinks will not have damaged his sample. 

Spuds - safe journey 

Anna x


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## Züri

thanks girls

he didn't actually have a drink in the end - but we have rowed over me not wanting him to - i know it wouldn't damage the sample but i just felt him not drinking for one night was his part - to show how serious this all is - we rowed over him saying it's only 2 drinks and not wanting to be told what to do - ahhhh anyway long story but you know how they are, just feel so let down abandoned and angry but lovely Kate is chatting to me on ** and making me chuckle

This is why i love this thread and why i have not wanted to leave when i should have - you are all stars xxx


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## purple72

I think we have all been there hunny bee, and even if you get a few more eggs than me or some of the others it doesn't mean you don't end up going through the same stresses and problems, so stay were you're wanted and that's with us. Wierdly I believe my DH act like a [email protected] BECAUSE he feels so unable to help or contribute, when in fact he ends up not supporting me when that's really all he can do! Blooming men! But hey got to love them anyway! I promise you it will look different in a day or two xxxx


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## Ourturn

Zuri - I had a go at my dh last tx because he did not curb his alchohol intake until 2 weeks before ec...I said 'its a bit late now you should have started this 3 months ago as that's how long a sperm cyle takes'   Annoying his sc was its highest ever at 220 million! 
Your right it the support we need


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## Züri

spot on purps i know you are right, i just need to see through this red mist

I seem to remember posting a similar post to this on my first cycle - it's so tough isn't it!

I think what makes me angry is I am a typical tough northerner, I have just gritted my teeth through this, I don't complain i just do what I have to do without much drama and then in thanks I get this - I feel that if i gave him more hormonal [email protected] maybe he would have been more thoughtful!

Anyway sorry for being me me but thanks for being there

xxx


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## Züri

sobroody1 said:


> Zuri - I had a go at my dh last tx because he did not curb his alchohol intake until 2 weeks before ec...I said 'its a bit late now you should have started this 3 months ago as that's how long a sperm cyle takes'  Annoying his sc was its highest ever at 220 million!
> Your right it the support we need


see this is what is funny - I am asked him to not drink for the one night which was Friday and this is the result  you are right it is just the support and solidarity - I know they feel lost and useless but a step to being involved would be times like this i.e not having a drink before EC

Men - they are [email protected] and prize ones at that  but we do love em I suppose - sometimes


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## fluffy jumper

Zuri, you are entitled to feel angry.  Why is it most men don't get what we have to do, just because we don't moan about it doesn't mean it isn't hard.  I suppose all we want is to feel like our DH's appreciate how much we have to do and how little they have to do. The others are right that it is probably their way of dealing with things, sticking their head in the sand.  They expect us to be logical, we know that a drink or two now isn't going to make a great deal of difference, but a woman pumped full of extra hormones isn't logical, we are just wanting to be appreciated in a visible way.


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## purple72

Heaps, Zuri, AnnasB & Tracey big hugs xxxxx

Sx


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## Züri

spot on Tracey 

hugs to you all and thanks for getting me through this past hour

I am still hidden in my office on my comp making him suffer 

xx


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## Kittycat104

Zuri - I am with you on the man thing.  My DH has just started smoking again which has really annoyed me.  I know he is doing it because he is stressed out by the last BFN, but really, sometimes it just feels like we have all the hassle and stress of IF and they can't do the smallest things!  Anyway, as the girls have said, sure you will feel more positive tomorrow 

Heaps - so sorry you weren't one of the miracles this time. 

Jersey - safe journey tomorrow!

Tracey - I know the person you are talking about as she is at my clinic.  It is so heartbreaking.

Anna - wouldn't it be fab if the C issue has been the problem all this time.  You sound positive which is nice to hear.  Penny sounds great.  

Malini - hope you have had a lovely relaxing first day in your lovely villa.  Tried to find you on ** but couldn't see any pictures of Chows!

Laura - my mind is boggling wondering what could have happened at the Anne Frank museum!  

Mag - glad the op went OK and that you have a way forward.

Hello to everyone else xx

AFM - busy week ahead.  First scan for follicle tracking tomorrow - allowing myself to have a little hope that the DHEA might have worked its miracles.  Then start new job on Tuesday - not great timing, but as new boss has no knowledge of my IF (strangely, it didn;t come up in the interview!), cant really expect them to fi round me.  Not comfortable with telling new boss my situation, so am going to have to get very creative with excuses again.

Louise x


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## fluffy jumper

Hey Purple, how are you this evening?

I am trying to plough my way through some of the shop book work.  Not fun.

Good luck Louise, it must be stressful trying to get to appointments without work knowing, is your clinic anywhere near work?


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## purple72

Louise good luck with the new job!

Tracey hunny I'm doing fine sweetie, had nice relaxing weekend with hubby ahead of busy week with midwife appointment cat going to have GA for tooth extraction and driving to Glasgow and back, lucky ole me hey! 

But in reality i am lucky and ladies I realise that every single day! Just wish all you ladies could be as lucky as I am right now xxxxx


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## Ourturn

Louise - good luck with your scan and new job! Can't you jut say you have some hospital appointments? No need to say why

Tracey  

Purps - you give us hope that natural miracles do happen

x


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## TryMeditate

Just dropping in quickly to say a big hello to you all.  I'm fine, very tired but hanging in there!  Loving my little man to pieces.  
I think of you girls all the time, I can't wait until I have more time to post.        to you all. Sam xxx


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## fluffy jumper

HI Sam.  How are you and your little one doing now?  I am in awe of your research thread, thank you.

Purple, Glasgow, that is a long way, can't you get the train it would be must less stressful.

DH is promising me a back massage for doing his book work.  I wonder if it will be a no strings attached kind of massage


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## laurab

Zuri - I remember having the biggest of fights with tim on the way to EC as he went out for a 100 mile bike ride the day before when Id asked him not to.  I remember crying at the top of the escalater in the tube station and him going and getting back on the tube home.   We did make it there in the end. Its all so stressful and as the others have said we just want them to 'do there bit'.   

Tracey - Tim just offered to rub my feet....   I fear its not just my feet that will be getting a rub if he has his way!  

Spuds - Wooo hooo! 

We've had people here all weekend so I have missed whats happening... I a off to bed now but will try to get back into the swing of it all tom.

N'night.


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## Miranda7

traceymohair said:


> DH is promising me a back massage for doing his book work. I wonder if it will be a no strings attached kind of massage


It never is, is it? The irony is that is they did it just a couple of times without an agenda we might feel a LOT more frisky, more often.

Gawd, I should be in bed, but too wired. Just dropped DH off for his new job lorry driving. He'll be away till Friday now, and he's so stressed, as he's new to it. Took us 50 mins to get to his yard, whereupon we realised they hadn't left him the key as promised... thankfully some guy turned up in one of the lorries and let him in.
All the while, Robert's shrieking in the back, bless his little larynx, and then he realised that the power converter we chased round for all day might blow as it's not a 12V car one, but a 24V lorry one.

Why are things never, EVER easy?

I seem to have a pattern whereby things look ok, then look DOOMED, then right themselves quite quickly. It's the doomed bit I don't like.

Now, where are we?

I know I've been sh!te at keeping up with posting. I am a great believer in if you haven't anything useful to say don't bother - but not posting to my fave girls in the whole world for aaaages seems all wrong.

I do read every day. And I really do care. I'm just buggered. 

For those who are monitoring their man's habits through this journey, my bestest ever advice is don't. There's no better way to make them stressed... and you so need them to be on your side through this. I couldn't even get vits down his neck without a fight. Maybe get him to eat tomato soup - this was the one thing he did willingly.

Yeah, we suffer much more. But making him suffer never made me feel that much better that it was worth it, strangely. I tried, but damn, it just didn't.


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## H&amp;P

Wow you've all been chatty this weekend  

We have been down to Chelmsford to see friends and on the way home there was a diversion on the A14, it was the most ridiculous diversion ever (not helped as we didn't have map in the car) anyway 1hr 30 mins later we were approximately 5 miles from where we got diverted off.....took us 5 hrs to get home (normally 3hrs max)...    and still no bl00dy AF, where the F has she gone....getting worried now   Might even have to go and buy another bloody HPT as keep getting weird pains and been feeling sicky on and off.....and if that is negative off to the hospital for a scan.....

Zuri - Fab news on EC, sorry you and DH aren't speaking  

Swinny / mags - hope you had a smooth trip to London and your trip all goes to plan    

Anna(SB) -   but so hoping Penny's optimism is well founded for you     she sounds fab.

Louise -   for your scan tomorrow

Heaps - How was the show?


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## laurab

Chelmsford Driver!!!! why oh why did you not call in to visit us!!! Thats 20 mins away. Next time... promise?

Evening Mir.  Oh no hubby til friday bliss... or will you miss him? 

I really am off to bed now...


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## H&amp;P

laurab said:


> Chelmsford Driver!!!! why oh why did you not call in to visit us!!! Thats 20 mins away. Next time... promise?


oops sorry, didn't know or I would have loved to come and visit, definately next time


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## beachgirl

Good Morning...where did the weekend go Thinking of you all and will try and catch up one night this week...still read every day but nothing much to say hence lack of posts


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## Jal

Hi all

Sorry I haven't been posting 2ww drove me mad, I have been reading on my blackberry but haven't figured out how to post on in as no option to do so.

Heaps - i am so very sorry about your result   

Zuri - thinking of you for tomorrow   

Well did a 1st response this morning (14 dpo) and as suspected was a BFN, was just about to throw test in the bin an hr later and I know I am deluding myself but there is the faintest shadow of a 2nd line (in fact there looks like 2 faint shadows which id def not right), so faint that you can't see it unless you really squint. Pretty sure it is just an evaporation line but I can't stop staring at it. I KNOW it is nothing but now it has given my a tiny glimmer of hope which means I will have to go through all the tears tomorrow again and do I still take cyclogest today ot not


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## laurab

Jal -    It really depends how long the line took to come up, if it was under 10 mins then it could be a BFP.  I will be keeping everything crossed for you.  Roll tom morning... the last bit is the hardest I always found.     

Morning Beachy poo...


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## SiobhanG

Jal - I agree with Laura, if it comes up in the first ten minutes then it could be a positive. My heart does go out for you though as I had the very same thing on mine. I tested 3 days running. Could you try one of the digital test? At least that way you can get more a direct answer (I personally didn't because I wasn't able to face if it said "not pregnant")
Mine turned out to be a BFN in the end but I think it may have been a chemical pregnancy. Also what time did you test, first thing AM is best, and also it depends on if the test is sensitive enough to pick up small amounts of HCG. I don't want to give you any false hope, but at the same time I am really praying it works out. I will keep my fingers crossed. I know it will be very tough trying to get through today, try and take your mind off it.


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## SiobhanG

Driver - very strange no AF yet, me neither. I am now on day 36 - I will probably do a HPT tomorrow, I just haven't been able to face doing one as I am pretty certain I am not pregnant as I haven't gotten any symptoms (last time I got the BFP, I had really sore boobs and felt like I was really "full" a lot)

Funnily enough I have also been feeling sick - however I always feel nauseated during AF. But if you have been feeling the same I am wondering if it could be the DHEA? I haven't taken it for the last couple of days.


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## SiobhanG

Jal - while I was still unsure of the test results - I just carried on with the cyclogest to be on the safe side.


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## Skybreeze

*Hi ladies, I am going to start a new thread in about 10 mintues xxxx*


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## Jal

Thnx girls

No idea when it came up as just saw it was a BFN at 6am and went back to bed, you really do have to squint to see anything or perhaps I am seeing things  . Took the cycolgest just in case but I'm pretty much taking it as a BFN. I was good this time and only bought 2 tests so I have 1 FR left for tomorrow, so we'll see if anything comes up then. In the meantime I'm 'working from home'

Siobhan - will keep my fingers crossed for you


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## IzziLu

Morning all,

Sorry Zuri I popped off just before you answered on Saturday and what a weekend you've had since    I can't believe you don't get updates from the clinic between EC and ET!  I am so sorry about your fallout with hubby but I totally get where you're coming from. My DH is actually very supportive in most ways with this journey and is always praising me up to people (consultant, nurses etc) about how I cope with it so I shouldn't really complain but I just feel we girls try to do everything we can to help ourselves by eating right, cutting out alcohol, taking loads of supplements, constantly researching, going for reflex, acu etc etc and I just wish he actually WANTED to do that little bit to help by voluntarily cutting back alcohol, sadly I am learning that is too much to hope for, men just think differently - they are after all from Mars! I hope things are looking a bit rosier this morning so that you can feel suitably calm for ET tomorrow  

Louise - hope your scan goes well today and good luck for the new job tomorrow.  If it helps at all, as far as my boss is concerned I have 'ongoing gyny issues' which require occasional tests and treatment and luckily being a squeemish man he doesn't seem to want to know anymore    

Driver - I can't believe AF still hasn't arrived, how long is it now? You never know maybe the first HPT was a false negative, wouldn't that be amazing?   

Jal - sorry the test this morning wasn't conclusive but keeping my fingers crossed for a positive re-test tomorrow   It will be a tough day to get through so try and keep yourself distracted   I guess it's best to keep on the cyclogest 'til you're absolutely sure  

Spuds - hope you've made it to Jersey safe and sound  

AnnaSB - am pm'ing you in a mo  

Hi Laura, Siobhan and love to every one else, hope you're all having a good day.  It's grey, drizzly and miserable here and I'm thinking about Malini in that wonderful Asian sunshine, hope she's having a wonderful time and suffering just a little bit from the green eyed monster!  

IzziLu xXx


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## Skybreeze

New home this way >>> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=232196.new#new


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