# Adoption after successful IVF



## snickers34 (Sep 11, 2006)

Not sure this is the right place to post this query.  

I have a little boy of 14 months from IVF and would like him to have siblings, having grown up with 2 brothers myself.  I'm not sure which route to take at this point.  One I am thinking of is long term fostering with a view to adoption.  

Does anyone know if there has to be an age gap between my son and any children we foster/adopt?  

As I have a son already would I be overlooked for adoption so that others without children could become parents?

Does anyone know of birth and adoptive children settling well together? 

Sorry for so many questions ... feel I am at a crossroads now and want to make the right decision.

Thanks for reading


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi Snickers

Here are a couple of threads you may find useful:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229017.0

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=166533.0

There are other people on this board who have birth children, so I'm sure they will say hi.

I think all adoption agencies would expect your birth son to be the oldest, and the gap varies from place to place - some say 4 years, others 2 years. Most children who are long term fostered are of school age or have disabilities, as it is hard to find adopters to take them 

The aim of adoption is to find parents for children, not children for parents so don't worry about being overlooked, as you are already a parent you will have lots of additional skills that will be very useful! 

There are also foster carers on this board so they'll be able to tell you more about that side of things.

Sorry for the garble - visitors about to arrive!

Bx


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## kittykat1234 (Jan 15, 2010)

Hi there Snickers34,

First of all welcome!!   

You have definately posted on the right board and if you have a look through the different topics, i am pretty sure there are ones about adopted and birth children in the same families - something i have no exp of i'm afraid.

As for the age gap, to adopt they do like an age gap of 2 yrs to try and eliminate any rivalry and jealousy as much as can be avoided. Obviously there may be some but as we all know, the closer in age the more this can be present.

Again no exp of this but have read sooooo much on here and chatted to people etc and as far as the 'being over looked' thing goes, no not at all!! All sorts of people apply to adopt, with/without children and some kids will be best suited in a family with other children in it where as other children will do better in a family without! Same as some will be better in a one parent family and others need the 2 parent situation - you definately won't be over looked!!

Are you doing this alone or with a partner??

Good luck and keep us posted on what you decide xx


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## kittykat1234 (Jan 15, 2010)

Here is alink of one of the topics you have asked about - there are more 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=229017.0

Hope this helps xxx


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## snickers34 (Sep 11, 2006)

Thanks for much for your speedy replies and for the welcome ... I felt quite  nervous posting as didn't want to offend anyone ... feel like wanting to expand our family is being greedy when I have one already.  Kittykatt, it'll be my husband - currently totally undecided where to go next.  I feel it's healthy to have sibblings and would love to have a lively family and hopefully my dreams will come true and I would consider it a priviledge to provide a home for children who don't have one.  I'm quite happy to adopt older/school age kids but guess this option is only likely to be a good few years in the future when my son is older.

Will check out all the links you gave me

Thanks again

Sarah


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## kittykat1234 (Jan 15, 2010)

Hey,

No problem! 

I was very nervous about posting on here too for the first time but its the best thing i ever did!!!! They are all soooooooooooo lovely on here and soooooo hepful and kind!!! I owe all i know to the lovlies on here  

In my opinion, you are certainly not being greedy and i am sure you will be successful in your dream!!

For me adoption has always been something i knew i would do some day and now i am 30 and single, i know i have to start and stop waiting for mr right to come along!! In an ideal world yes i would rather be doing this with a partner but i'm not and it just feels soooo right!!! Its gonna be hard but i have single mom friends and they cope just fine and granted their littlies are birth children, but with training,support and LOTS of reading, i know i'll be just fine!!

Good luck, and really this site is fab xxx


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## snickers34 (Sep 11, 2006)

Wow Kittykat ... your journey sounds great and think if I was in your position I'd do the same.  I know lots of single Mums and I take my hat off to them because it is hard work but being a Mum is the best thing ever.  You'll be fine, you seem upbeat and wanting to enjoy life and that's the best thing you can give to a child .... I'm sure you won't have a dull day and what a life you will be giving to your child.  

Good luck with your journey 

x


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## kittykat1234 (Jan 15, 2010)

Thank you - that means a lot!!! 

Keep in touch xx


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