# IUI With Vaginismus Part 14



## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home ladies


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Candy, wow Jacob is 3 months old! how are you both doing?

Emma, hope you viewings go really well today, hows DH?

Morning claire how are you? not sure if your log on over the weekend.

Polly how are you doing must be great to have DH home, do either of you have any more trips planned? hows things with clomid? any side effects?

Having lots of cramps today and feel a bit yuck! no AF though but sure that will follow in teh next day or to

Have a lovely saturday in the sunshine

Donna xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

We are both in good form thank you, DH is off for a long weekend so its been really nice, keeping everything crossed for a natural pg for you xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Donna - I am very jealous of your sunshine. It is very overcast here, and has been all day. Sorry that you think af is on the way.
I hope you are having a relaxing weekend, and not doing too much college work. You ned to rest before starting that new job.

Don't know how the viewings went. We haven't heard back from the agent yet. Suffice to say we haven't been inundated with offers. 

I am so tired today, you wouldn't believe. I spent all yesterday cleaning, then fell asleep on the sofa at 8.15 pm. Today we've had to take the dogs out walking for 2 hours whilst the viewings were going on, and I'm done in. Poor dh isn't very well - cold/flu thing - and didn't really need that either. What a sorry pair we make.

Polly, Claire, Annie - probably none of you are reading this, but hello anyway.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx 

p.s candy - I can't believe 3 months has gone by either. Have a lovely weekend!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I hope you hear from agent soon, must be hard waiting around.

Hope you and DH are getting lots of rest and relaxing for the rest of the weekend. Make sure DH doesn't pass on his flu to you.

Not doing to much this weekend, going to my mum and dads for dinner later and again tommorrow so no cooking for me! may do some college work tommorrow.

Was ment to meet up with manager today to go over a few things before I start but she cancelled so going on monday at 10 instead not sure if I ma working rest of day or just having an iduction then starting on tuesday so we will c!

Sun has gone here to now.

enjoy your weekend xx

Donna xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

You to Emma, do you have a date for your first scan yet ?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Candy,

I had a dating/viability scan done at a local clinic last Saturday at 8+2 weeks, and everything was just as it should be. I got to hear the heartbeat, and everything. 
Because of this my health authority aren't going to give me a dating scan at 12 weeks, so nothing is scheduled until the anomaly one at 21 weeks (Christmas time). I'm going to have a nuchal scan done though at the same clinic at the end of October.

Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

feeling really rubbish today  

Had a few spots but no full AF as yet but know its coming its wired because I am fully prepared for AF and I am not upset becuase I am not pregnant as I never thought I would be this months but I'm upset that I am still trying - I know that makes no sense!
There is a lot going on at the moment with emma and annies BFP my brother expecting a baby and my closest friend about to give birth!
Finding it all hard today guess its cause of all those extra AF hormones! House is a tip - in fact it is no messier/tidier than usual but when AF is due I like the place to be spotless which never happens.

Starting new job tommorrow which I am nervous about not sure if I am doing a full day or not but hope its only half day!

Hope you are all haveing a nice weekend

Emma I hope you are feeling better

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Sorry Annie and Emma it sounded like I was having a go at you both, but I wasn't I just ment there seems to be a baby boom at the moment which I am not part of! Maybe next month!

My friend hasn't been feeling well today and has started being sick which can happen before labour starts so I'm sitting around waiting for news, wouldn't be able to sleep anyway to nervous about tomorrow! When I have started new jobs I have been confident in my ability, this time its more nerve racking as I am going into a higher position plus I am thinking it may be harder to bond and make friends as I will be above them  Guess I'll find out tommorrow

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning

Donna - I didn't think you were having a go at all. I quite understand. I would be finding things hard in your shoes, especially at af time.
Sorry not to have come on here yesterday. I know it is a bit late but I wanted to wish you all the best with your new job today.    I'll be thinking of you. Just be yourself, and I'm sure you'll get on just fine with the other people. 

Annie - hope you had a lovely weekend. Are you tired now?

Polly - hope you had a lovely weekend with dh too. How is the Clomid going? When will the actual tx take place? 

We had a couple more people look round the house yesterday, so spent the day doing yet more cleaning. 

I was in a foul mood yesterday, mainly due to lack of sleep. My b****y neighbours are driving me crazy. On Friday night they came back at 2am and played loud music and shouted to one another for hours. On Saturday they came back at 3am and had an almighty row, with things being thrown at walls and much shouting and screaming, and again this morning at 5am. I was beginning to get really irritable and tearful with the lack of sleep.   I wish we could move soon!

Today I've woken up with a sore throat. No surprise as dh has just had something similar. 

Sorry, I'll stop moaning and feeling sorry for myself. Anyone know any good jokes?

Emma, xxxxxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

No, don't tend to log on at the weekend - this weekend spent most of my time with my head in a book revising for my exam on Thursday... (very boring z).

Emma, I sympathise with the noisy neighbours, having been reduced to frustration and tears by about 5am on more occasions than I care to remember.  My old neighbours used to do the exact same thing, and as they were end of terrace I was the only one affected.  (Mine also had a parrot that joined in the general racket).  There are small marks on the wall where I used to bang on it with a can of hairspray (not that they took any notice).  Lots of praying later, and they eventually moved.  I celebrated (with sparkling wine, toasts, the works) the day the for sale sign went up, the day it changed to sold and the day they left... .  They've been replaced by a woman and her teenage son - he lives it up a bit when she's away but thankfully it's not very often!

After being all psyched up for starting up with the dilators again after my exam, I've realised my period is due.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing (lubrication might help?).  Should I start again with #1 and work up, I'm beginning to think that sounds more appealing and more likely to get on with it and not put it off?

Claire


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Claire,

Welcome back. 

Personally, I would start with  #1 again, and work upwards. I always found that if I had a break from dilators for a few days that it impeded my progress, and using a smaller size helped to get back in the swing of things and boosted my confidence. I know that plenty of people do use dilators during their period, but I never did (I was quite glad of an excuse not to practice for a few days if truth be told). certainly in the few days after a period I was very dry and needed lots of lube.
I bet once you get cracking it won't seem half as bad as you think 

Yes, my neighbours are definitely reducing me to tears of frustration. They only moved in earlier in the year, so we are stuck with them until we can sell our house (which seems to be impossible at the moment). I don't think they mean to be noisy, but just have no idea how noisy they are (and when they've drunk too much at the weekends they would struggle to know their own names, let alone worry about the neighbours). They will turn the music down if we ask them, but who wants to do that in the middle of the night, every night. And by then they've already woken us up. I can't really ask them to stop arguing though. They are an end of terrace too, so we are alone in our suffering, like you. 
We moved here, out of London, to get away from noisy neighbours. We used to live in a flat where the man above played the same Whitney Houston CD over and over again from 9.15 in the morning until after midnight every day, at which time the neighbours below would return from a night out and play loud music until 3 am.
Sorry, must stop moaning. I could rant about noisy neighbours all day.  

Hope your exam goes OK on Thursday. How soon do you get the results?

Polly, Annie - you are very quiet at the moment......
Donna - how was your first day? can't wait to hear all about it.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Greetings one and all!

Great to be back and glad everyone seems to be generaly o.k. I had a really nice weekend away. Well, I felt pretty sorry for myself on Friday when we arrived. Everyone went off swimming round the rapids, which I couldn't go on, then we went to the Spa to book treatments only to find I couldn't have any. So I'd basically gone to my favourite place and couldn't do any of the things I enjoy most and had to watch while every other toe rag enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah I know - it's for the best reason in the world and I can go back again and do all those things. I just felt a bit down in the dumps. Once I'd snapped out of it I had a really good time. So funny that after a couple of weeks of not daring to even sneeze I walked for miles, lugged all sorts of heavy things and even ran!!! - for the tram/train thing which I didn't make! Had a small amount of brown stuff yesterday but no more than usual.

Feel very tired this afternoon and a bit sick which I haven't had for a while. Early night for me I think before going back to work tomorrow. We told 3 more friends yesterday, one of whom is a Midwife. It was great to have a chat with her. She made me feel alot more relaxed. Still feels like I'm lying though.Still doesn't feel like it's happening.

Emma - Sorry to hear about the nasty neighbours. You won't have to put up with it for much longer. Fingers crossed you get an offer real soon. 
Did you manage to get any kippy snooze today?

Donna - How did it go today?

Polly- Enjoying having DH back?

Claire - I always found things a bit "tighter" after AF. Lubrication might be worth a go for those first few days after. 

Ciao for now xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - welcome back! Glad you had a good time eventually.  

I intended to go to bed for a nap this afternoon, but by the time I'd done various bits and bobs that I had to do it was nearly 6pm, so it didn't happen.

Dh, bless him, asked me to make some duck pies today. He had bought the ingredients and pointed out the recipe he had in mind. I thought it might take half an hour at most, but it was more like 2 hours, with umpteen stages. They'd better taste good after all that.

I can't remember if I asked, but how did it go with telling your boss?

Got to dash, back later (tiredness permitting)
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

AF arrived today and for most of the day I have felt like I was in labour! lost of cramps! still dull ache now but hopefully will be gone by tommorrow.

First day was good annd staff seem ok, not very chatty but they don't seem chatty with each other either! I guess it must feel strange to them to, I spent most of the day observing as I don't know routine or children and it only occured to me at about 5pm that they might feel uneasy and think I am observing/ judging them cause I think I would in there shoes.

Manager is going to employ a senior nursery nurse to work along side me (although surely I'll still be above her??) so that might help me just hope she isn't to good cause they might make us swap roles. I have a few ideas for the working of the nursery but will wait a few weeks before I voice them.
Not entirerly sure what is expected of me as yet, manager is happy to do all the papaer work herself I think becuase she is the owner, so don't think my job is that different to room leader just on a bigger scale then what I am used to, but hoping things will become more clear as week goes on.

Heavily pregnant friend is in hospital started being sick yesterday and has diarroha to so they are keeping her in till she can keep food down. she's had 4 drips so far!
Baby is fine though, she has had a few contractions but has been having those anyway.

Doing an early shift at work tommorrow so starting at 8am, very tired tonight although I haven't done much I have had a lot to take in.

Annie hope you are not feling to tired, you break sounds lovely thinking I might book something like that for DH and me maybe next year though. Pleased you have told your friends you will have more support now and you will be able to turn to your friend who is a midwife to put your mind more at rest.

Polly WHRE ARE YOU? Hope everything is ok?how is tx going?

Claire I would start agian at 1 it wont do any harm, I think it is personall choice whether to use them while on your period, I can see why it would help but I never felt like ti myself.

Emma I hope for your sanity you sell your house soon, any luck with viewings?

Night all

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

sorry! Just had quite a busy Saturday and a lazy Sunday - although I did go out on my bike - only 5 miles though, but it's a start. We went to see Curse of the WereRabbit on Saturday, and earlier helped the movers move. Didn't hang around much, it was funny leaving DN there. 

Great to have DH back, obviously. He did really well on his trip. But he has others planned, including the probably key days of the next cycle. Not good. I don't know about fathers being present at the birth, but they should deffo be there at the conception!!!  

Not too many symptoms of clomid - feel a bit hot sometimes, but not too bad. I take the last one tomorrow and then go for a scan on Friday, with a view to basting on Tuesday. 

Glad the first day went well, Donna, sorry to hear about your friend, hope she's ok.

Annie - glad you had a good weekend - what are you like, being fed up with being pg already!!!!   What did the boss say?

Emma - yukky neighbours. We've got two lots of newish ones, and they seem to have become good friends and are VERY noisy about it.  . Hopefully the colder weather will drive them indoors...

Claire - I have to use dilators every day, (I must admit I cheat a bit these days) and find it more uncomfortable during af, so it might be a bit off-putting. But there's no reason not to if you are ok with it. use lots of lube, as the others say. Don't put it off too long, but chose a time to start when you feel ready to see it through. Then you don't have to keep starting!

Anyway, take care all.

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly - glad you got back on your bike.  I love the way you say 'only' 5 miles. I think that would kill me, but then I never learnt to ride a bike as a child.
Can they put dh's sperm into cold storage and bring it out on the key date, if he's not around?

Donna - glad your first day went OK. New places always seem a bit strange at first, but you'll find your feet in no time. Sorry af turned up.
Hope your friend will be OK.

Annie - I can't decide whether or not to tell MIL this weekend. We were going to but SIL is most insistent that we shouldn't until 12 weeks, which makes me wonder if she had a miscarriage at some point. I'm not sure how I'm going to explain not drinking, not eating many normal foodstuffs, and looking the size of a bus (well, perhaps just a minibus). Dunno.

Claire - hope the revision is going OK.

I'm off to the hospital this afternoon to see the consultant. Not at all sure why he wants to see me, except perhaps to congratulate himself on treating my vag successfully? I'm worried that he'll poke me and then say everything has gone horribly wrong.
No neighbour noise yesterday (I think Monday to Thursday is spent recovering from the weekend) but I still slept badly. I ended up in the spare room. Better than tossing and turning and listening to dh snoring. 

I'm off to wake dh and have some breakfast,
Back later,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone

Feeling a bit tearful today  One of the friends I told Sunday has been giving me a bit of a hard time because I didn't tell her straight away and that she wasn't the first to know. She came over yesterday afternoon and I could just tell that something wasn't right. She was then online last night and made some pretty spiteful comments such as "_Your_ friends must be so pleased for you" It didn't register at the time and I spent the night apologising and justifying why I hadn't said anything until now. Now I'm a bit cross with myself today for letting her talk to me like that. I was so excited to tell her and now it feels a bit of a damp squib.

Polly - ONLY 5 miles, ONLY!!!! I'd be lucky to manage 5 yards on a good day! I can't believe you could be basting on Tuesday already. It's all happening so quickly! How are you feeling about it all?

Donna - Glad your first day went well. I'm sure that in a couple of weeks you'll have a much better idea of your role, what's expected of you and how you can settle in and improve things. Don't worry that your new colleagues weren't overly chatty. Given a bit of time I'm sure you'll feel like one of the guys before too long.

Emma - Good luck with the Consultant today. I'm sure he won't prod or poke you. Maybe he wants to congratulate you in person! 
Tough decision about telling people isn't it. My Mum wants me to tell my Grandparents this weekend. I was a bit unsure but then I had a nightmare over the weekend that I didn't tell them and that something happened to them and they never knew. They're all getting a bit old now so I'd do anything to encourage them to keep going! I'm still mulling it over. Telling my Grandad is a scary thought. I'm his little girl and telling him I'm PG is confessing I do rudie things with my DH!!!! If you knew my Grandad you'd understand the horror of this prospect. I told my Mum I was scared and she laughed and told me she was too scared to tell him when she was pg with me and made my Dad do it!!!!

Anyhoo - have a lovely day everyone xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie

Sorry to hear that your friend has upset you. She'll get over it in no time, I'm sure. Try not to let it get to you too much, you don't need extra stress. Easier said than done.

How you feel about telling your grandad is how I feel about telling my parents. They definitely won't be told until after 12 weeks. Dh keeps joking that I'll avoid mentioning it until after the birth itself. I might tell MIL though after all. She is so lovely - much more of a mother to me than my own - that I'd probably like her support if things did go wrong.

I'm off to tidy up my garden.
Have a lovely day,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Boss isn't being too helpful today. I tried explaining to her that I'm really struggling with full days at the moment because of the fatigue. 

I pretty much got a tough luck response and that if I leave early I'll be expected to make the time up.

Bloody marvellous. So now I'm sat here desperately willing 4:45 to come along so I can go home and put my head down for 40 winks

I've e-mailed personnel too to ask what I'm entitled to!

Emma - Are you back from your appointment yet?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Yes, I'm back. What a busy afternoon. Seeing the Consultant was fine. He seemed very pleased to see me in an antenatal clinic rather than in a defective person/gynae problem clinic. My blood pressure is a bit high. Don't know what that means, but I feel so stressed at the moment that perhaps it is no surprise. He didn't really do anything apart from BP and urine test - nothing to check there really was still anything inside.

As I got back estate agent phoned with a near immediate viewing, so I had to do a mad dash tidy up and leave again. Sounds like they are keen, but I'm not going to count any chickens yet. 

The other side of our move is turning into a nightmare. Dh was going to stay with his grandmother, but she has changed her mind. Apparently after living on here own for so many years she doesn't think she'd like anyone else in the house (not even her favourite grandson). We are having a nightmare of a time finding a flat to rent in Manchester that is affordable, in an OK location, and available in 2 weeks time. We'd set up a viewing for tomorrow of the only flat that seemed to meet the criteria and the agent has just called and cancelled. Arggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Dh is getting very stressed indeed, and is making me stressed.

Anyway, enough about me.

Annie - sorry your boss wasn't too sympathetic. You were expecting more from her, weren't you? You could get a sick note from your doctor. I noticed that a few people on the 'Bun in the Oven' thread have sicknotes until 12 weeks. Does she have children?
I hope she didn't make you cry. (it is the same woman isn't it?)

Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Ha Ha - no she didn't make me cry this time Emma. Far too tired for that sort of emotion! I just called her a few choice names under my breath. She has a daughter who is 28! But you know back then it was so much harder and they just had to get on with it , blah blah blah!

I'll see what personnel come back with but if I get no joy believe you me I will have no qualms with getting myself signed off for 3 weeks or so. Up to them then isn't it. Either let me go early a few nights a week or don't have me at all.

Try not to get yourself worried or upset about the move. Everything will come together one way or another.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - good for you! I'm glad you're not going to soldier on when you aren't up to it. Thats no good for anyone. 

I know you're right about the move, but I can't help worrying. I'm a great believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason, even if it isn't always obvious what the reason is at the time. Dh's present employers are trying to get him to stay, and have said he can go back if he hates the new job, so perhaps we'll end up doing that instead. We'll still move somewhere bigger, but locally. Actually, I have a house in mind about a mile from here but - can you believe it - it is just a few doors down from Dr Sex!

Donna - how was day 2?
Claire - hello!
Polly - how are things?

Night, night,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Polly I cana't beleive you are being basted next week, I am soooooooooo excited for you, time is flying by isn't it.

Annie you go girl! you show your boss who is boss!

Emma, wasn't DH's job a better job though? although for all the stress it is causing you both maybe it would be better to stay put expecially with prorities being different now you are pregnant.

Hello claire? how are the dilators.

2nd day ok at work just feeling really unsettled everyone is friendly but I miss the little banter you have when you knoe people better I know it will come but feeling lonely at the moment.
i think it is also because my friend is about to give birth that I feel unsettled, everything is changing her priorities will change and she may not be around as much - she is fine by the way, came home tonight, no Idea what was wrong bug or virus I reckon.

Feeling very tired and a little sorry for myself! so much college work to do before saturday to!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Just quick, as I have to get up early in the morning, to go and see the consultant, this is supposed to be a final checkup, but then so was the last one. There's a little patch that wasn't healing, and it still feels as though it isn't.

You've all made me question the dates here, I had to go back and check, but yes, this is day 7, so basting should be next Tue. I'm feeling a bit funny and slightly sore in my tum, so I suppose that must be the effects of the clomid.

Donna, forgot to say sorry about af. Maybe both of us will pull a blinder just before Christmas?

Annie, I think that it should be ok to go home a bit early, and I once did have someone who was told to go home at 3 and put her feet up by the doc, which was fine by me, so if you don't want to take time off, and you need the rest, it might be worth talking to the doc about being signed off in the pm?

Emma - I really hope that something gets sorted out soon about moving - I can't remember, are you still in the running for the house that you put an offer in on? That hasn't gone pear-shaped too, I hope.

Claire - happy revising. Is it this thursday that you have the exam? 

Anyway, DH is hovering to go to bed, so I'd better go.

Love to all

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All!

Can't stay long this morning, off to a meeting for the rest of the day. Got a banging headache and not sure if I can take anything for it. Was sick again last night - seems baby doesn't like Super Noodles. Such a shame as I really enjoyed them on the way in! 

Still feeling sick this morning and bnot quite sure how I'm going to get through the most boring day ever without falling asleep or throwing up!

I'll try and check in tonight when I get home for personals. 

Have a good day everyone!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning all,

Annie - hope you feel better soon. It would certainly liven up the meeting if you were sick! I haven't felt sick for a couple of days and - being a natural worrier - am worried that this is a bad sign.

Polly - I hope you get the all clear from the consultant to go ahead. Even if there is a patch that hasn't healed, would it be fine? I'm thinking that if dh can fit inside you then the basting equipment (sorry, don't know the technical name) should fit too.  

Donna - I'm sure you'll settle in son. It usually takes a couple of weeks. Are there any other new people starting soon? Sometimes not being the new kid on the block any more makes a difference.

Claire - good luck tomorrow for your exam(s).  

I am delighted to say that I had a proper undisturbed nights sleep last night for the first time in weeks. Dh slept in the spare room - not an ideal long-term situation - because we both have rotten colds and our coughing and spluttering would disturb each other.

In terms of the move, we haven't lost the perfect house yet (touch wood). The lady who lives there is about to give birth any day now, so I'm hoping that they're not really actively looking for other buyers at the moment. There are a couple of other houses on the market in the same road, which might fit the bill if need be. It seems that the housing market in Chester is even slower than down here; none of the houses we'd considered have sold in the past few months.
Donna, to answer your questions, dh's new job is sort of a sideways move. He would be at the same level (Senior Assistant lawyer) but the potential for partnership in the next few years is much higher. On the downside, the salary is a little less than in his present job until he becomes a partner. Part of the reason we want to move is so that we'd be nearer to lots of family, and he'd have more of a life outside work. 
It will all work out in the end, probably.

have a lovely day people,
Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Annie - were you sick in the meeting ? Or did you go to sleep? Or have you sorted out some time off?

Emma, glad you got some sleep, and DH too. Can you take Vit C and zinc for the cold, I should think so cos they'll be in antenatal vits anyway, so maybe more won't hurt? What about echinea? Dunno if you can take that too.

Donna - how is work going? Hope you are settling in better.

I wasn't very clear about the consultant, it was the surgeon that I went to see. There is a little bit that isn't quite healed yet, but he doesn't think that we need to do anything about it, and it is more obvious when using the dilators than bms, so that isn't a problem. And it isn't anything that will get in the way of IUI, although it might hurt a bit if they disturb it. But it's not that much. It's more on the worst spectrum of uncomfortable than really painful.

I had a couple of questions to ask, one: was it still likely that I would have to have a caeserian - he said no, that if it was just about that reason, that it would probably be possible to give birth normally. I also asked about being put back onto the smear register, which he said I could, but then we agreed that when I go back in 6 months, he will do it anyway. Third, as he said that there was no reason why I shouldn't get pg, I asked him what he thought my chances were (explaining it was on the grounds that the fertility consultant only sees people with a problem, but the gynae sees people who get pg normally) and he said age was against me, but he was a bit surprised that the fertility consultant gave me such a low possibility, as he says, he sees loads of women over 40 who are pg!!!!

Anyway, that's me.

Where are you all?

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - sounds like good news! I'm glad he thought your chances were higher than you were led to believe. That must have been encouraging?
Sorry to sound dim, but what is the smear register?
When do they think your unhealed bit will heal?

I thought echinecea was a no-no, but I'd have to check. I think I'm getting plenty of Vit C. I've been drinking honey and lemon for days, and eating lots of oranges and mangoes. Not sure if I'm getting enough zinc though. 

Annie - how was your meeting? Were you sick?!

Donna - how was day 3?

Got to go, dh needs the computer and I need my bed.
Night, night everyone. Sweet dreams.

Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Smear register = that thing where they write to you every five years to go for a smear test.

maybe I didn't use the right phrase, but you know what I mean.

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello just a quicky from me,

Annie how are you feeling now?

Polly, everuthing sounds very encouraging so lets hope we have both nailed it by xmas! DH thinks I'll be pregnant in Jan so the baby is due in september - the reason for is thoughts are, we moved inot our first place together on the 8th september, we got married on thr 18th september so our baby will be born on the 28th september. I can see his thought process but we'll see.

Emma, not sure you can take vit c I know years and years ago high strength vit c used to be used to induce labour! getting it from food is fine though. Hope you feel better soon

Day 3 not to bad, one minute everyone is nice and chatty the next nobody tells me anything and I have to be a mond reader which looks really bad as I am ment to be the deputy! Hardly seen manager since monday so haven't been told half the things I should know yet! I know it takes time, guess I am feeling a little tense cause of starting new job, college work and friend in hospital! should feel better by weekend!

Friend is having tightenings which are getting worse so hopefully wont be to long before she gives birth- I am getting so impatient.

Anyway must gert back to college work!

Claire good luck for tommorrow -  what exam are you taking?

Donna xx

ps DH as is driving test again tommorrow!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Good luck to Mr Donna for tomorrow! 

Love Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I still have the stinky cold, but think it is petering out now. I definitely won't be taking Vit. C now Donna!

Donna - hope all goes well with dh's driving test    

Donna, Polly - I hope you both have it nailed by Christmas too. I have a strong feeling that you will.

Annie - how are you today? 

I am under house arrest today waiting for a parcel to be delivered. Bet it won't turn up until 5pm! 

Back later,
Emma, xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Anybody there?

I wouldn't come anywhere near me today either. I've spent the day biting people's heads off - estate agents, delivery people who fail to deliver things, company that charged me twice on my credit card (and dh who didn't deserve it) - lets put it down to hormones. 

Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma - I'm here! It has been quiet today, hasn't it?

Haven't got much to say, other than I'm going for my scan tomorrow. I'm quite looking forward to it, as I actually don't think they could actually see my ovaries last time. They had a good dig around with the dildocam  but didn't tell me anything about the size of the follies or anything. So many people on FF seem to know the size of their follies that I assume it is normal to be told.  So I am assuming that they couldn't tell.

My mum sent me this earlier:

_Subject: The Wash Cloth

There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

"I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30am. I had only
just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in.

Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" Not knowing how to respond, I made no comment.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal. .. some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard.

She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."_

How rude is my mum? So I told her it gave me some ideas for tomorrow!!!! 

How did all the tests and exams go today, Donna & Claire?

Annie - are you still asleep in that meeting? 

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

HI all

Annie I hope you are alright?

Polly good luck for tommorrow cant wait to hear about follies

Emma how are you feeling now? better I hope

Claire how was your exam?

DH passed his driving test! yippppeeeeeeeeee! My brother passed thismorning too!

Just found out another friend is pregnant I've taken it pretty bad and its even entered my head to stop trying!

Gonna stop typing now before I cry again

night all

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna - well done to DH. do you already have a car or is that the next step?

PLEASE don't give up! I know it seems like forever, but you've been through so much and done so well, you can't stop. Your BFP isn't far away.  

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I cant believe you right now! feel sick!

Dh is going to drive my old car which is the car I had when I passed my test a Metro, its a great little care only 45,000 on the clock and I knew the previous/first owner who never really drove the car, engine in great condition


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Been off line for a few days with my head in a book cramming frantically.  Exam was ok-ish, some good questions, some pretty crappy ones!  Just glad it's over, no more studying for at least a year I've decided.  (Exam was geology).

Donna, I sympathise.  I'm not even trying (for obvious reasons) but I feel depressed every time someone announces they're pregnant.  Because we've had a stressful restructuring at work and the department of 85 people is about 95% women (mostly under 45), there have been a lot of pregnancies to get people out of work for a while, in the last year!  However, I'm sure you'll get there in the end, from what I've read you certainly deserve it.

Claire


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning, morning!

Apologies as always for my tardiness. Nope, didn't fall asleep in the meeting. It was actually quite interesting. Went straight out to a friends Body Shop party after and didn't get home til 11:30! 

Yesterday was really manic at work so didn't get a chance to say hello. Was then sick as a dog last night -again! 

Was feeling mega sick this morming until I heard my friend had her baby in the early hours. She had a little boy - Benjamin Jack. I'm going up to see them this afternoon.

Polly - Hope all goes well today

Emma - How are your hormones?

Donna - Congrats to DH and a huge hug for you hun. We're here if you need a chat

Claire - Fingers crossed for your results!

Ciao for now all xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Hormones are much better today, I think. I don't feel like I want to pick a fight with anyone and everyone.  I feel very, very queasy though, and yesterday too. Do you remember many moons ago when I said I didn't feel sexy and wore jeans the whole time? Well, now I'm wearing skirts all the time because none of my jeans fit me. Can't say I feel sexier for it, but I certainly look ready to go to any job interviews or formal occasions at the drop of a hat.

Donna - well done to dh and your brother on the driving test! How wonderful. Was it just coincidence that their tests were on the same day?
I know it sounds trite, but your time will come soon.  I want you and Polly to have BFPs by Christmas, and that's an order.

Claire  - glad your exam was OKish. These things always turn out better than you imagined. When do you get the results? Are you going to get to grips (no pun intended) with the dilators at the weekend?

Annie - welcome back!

Polly - I loved your mum's story. Made me laugh out loud.    What a cool mother you must have! Mine would never say something like that in a million years.

I'm off to the back of beyond (well north London) now to collect the parcel that should have been delivered yesterday. Soooooooo annoying. I suspect I'll get very lost indeed. We're off to stay with MIL this weekend, but I'll pop back before I go.

have a lovely Friday,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh Emma -  are you telling the MIL this weekend? Have a lovely time - try and relax!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Yes, we're going to tell MIL but ask her to keep it under her hat for a couple more weeks. It was supposed to be a big family get together for dh's grandmother's birthday but MIL, in a rare moment of madness, gave the wrong dates to everyone, so BIL and girlfriend and SIL and family went last weekend and we're there this weekend. At least his grandmother gets 2 birthday meals out of the confusion.
Did you ever tell your grandparents? How did it go?

I'm seeing my parents (oh joy) in a couple of weeks, and will probably tell them then. I'll be having the nuchal fold scan a couple of days before, so it depends on whether the little blob is still alive and well.

I'm off to prepare some lunch (baked potato and tuna, yum-yum).

Emma, xxxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Exam results - due just before Christmas, so it'll either be an extra present or put a dampener on things!!

Dilators - due to period, I've decided to see how I feel at the time.  Either way, will be starting by say Wednesday at the latest.

My mum wouldn't send me a joke like Polly's either!  The slightest sexual thing on the telly and she starts sniffing!

Claire


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Claire - Give the dilators a go when you're ready. I'm sure you did really well in your exam. Sounds like you put in alot of work into it.

Emma - I haven't told my Grandparents yet. They came home yesterday from their holiday place on the Coast. Going with my Mum on Sunday!!!!

Just got back from visiting friend and new baby Ben at hospital. Listened all about her labour - now VERY scared!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - I'm not even going to think about labour for many months yet. I can't bear to look at the graphic pictures in pg books; I just turn the page quickly and keep my eyes shut. As for those people who film the event for posterity........no thanks!

Something very odd has happened here - we have no water. I was just about to have a bath too. Most baffling.   I could check the stopcock, but there is no way it could have turned itself off, and I am likely to cause lots of damage if I start fiddling. Best wait for dh to come home, niot that he knows anything about plumbing either.

Off to MILs soon. I'm not looking forward to the journey - us and 2 dogs squashed into a tiny car. The deal is that he drives there and I drive back. We have some people looking round at the weekend so I have to leave the house spotless; it'll be nice to come back to if nothing else.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend. I might be able to pop on here when MIL isn't looking. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Emma, have you found the water yet? Have a good weekend!

Annie - glad you are not still snoring your head off in some deserted meeting room! 

Claire - geology! I admit to a geology A level, but it's from many many years ago. Fascinating subject... Is it anything to do with your work, or a "hobby"?

Donna - are you feeling any better today? I hope so, and I also hope that DH is giving you lots of tlc.

The appt at the clinic went well, one follie, but a good size "ready to pop" and a good womb lining. I have to go in for my injection on Saturday night and then basting on Monday. So a mad scramble round to reorganise my week, as I had planned it all for Tuesday. I can't cancel some stuff, so I will just have to have a migraine on Monday. My female member of staff knows what I am doing, so I have her ready to pick up some stuff when the "migraine" happens. Bless her.

If this doesn't work, and my cycle doesn't move (the way it did last time I had IUI, then there won't be a problem about DH being away next month, but if there is a problem, then they can freeze ahead of time. So we'll work it out when/if we need to.

I feel really upbeat and excited!  

Have a good weekend everyone.

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all

Still feeling really down   and sorry for myself, but wanted to pop on to say well done to polly! I'm excited for ya! can I be nosey and ask teh size of your follie and womb linning? sorry if you'd rather not say

Have a fab weekend everyone xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna, not nosey at all, but she didn't tell me! I thought I asked, so I don't know if I was unclear or she didn't want to say. I felt a bit self-conscious about it, as if she might think I am the kind of person that trawls the internet looking for information about ttc!  


PLEASE cheer up! You were sounding much more positive recently, and it's heartbreaking to hear you so down again, when I can't really do anything. Your time will come, really!!

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh never mind I was just interested to compare, thats the 1 thing i liked about IUI knowing my follie size and which side I was ovulating from etc its really interesting

I know I was feeling better last few weeks but know I'm back down again and don't think I have the energy to pull myself out again, I'll be back here again in a few weeks or months so whats the point.
I am fed up of picking myself up to be knocked back again. Life is one thing after another and I cant take it anymore


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, you are a strong and determined woman. You don't WANT to take this anymore, and who would, but you CAN. It's really tough and unfair, and it's hard to deal with, and it does make you want to stop the pain, but it WILL all be ok in the end. I don't know where the end is for you, but there is more likelihood of it being sooner than later.

I can't tell from here just "how" you are down, but I'm a bit worried that you say that you haven't the energy to pick yourself up. Do you think that you might be clinically depressed, or heading that way? If so, please go and see your doctor, and/or try Bach flower remedies. Mustard has worked for me sometimes when I have been clinically depressed, but you would need to look up the leaflet or website and see which one describes best the way you are feeling. Are you taking vitamins? How healthy is your diet? Can you get on a train and go to Brighton or somewhere for the day, just to get a change of air? Sorry for all the questions, but being fighting fit has got to be important just because this is a long and lonely road.

How is DH about all this? Do you need more demonstration of his support and strength at the moment, and can you tell him?

Donna, I really want you to feel better. I can't make you be pg, but you know if hoping for you helps, you have it in spades from me, and the others, I'm sure. Please keep venting on here, because at least here you know that we all know how horrible it is to be in this situation, and although we want you to feel more cheerful, we know that it isn't always possible. Please also let me know if anything I say isn't helpful - I won't fall out with you if you shout at me!

Lots of love and hugs

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Donna - you're really worrying me. Come on matey - we can pull you out of this feeling of not wanting to fight on. I felt very down at the end of last year/beginning of this year if you remember. I was dwelling on my Dad's anniversary and facing the fact I was going to have to have IUI. I felt the same way as you are describing now. The truth is it was me who pulled myself out of it and the only way I did it was to focus on the good things in my life. 

Just like me Donna, you have some incredibly positive things going on. You have a great DH who I'm sure you can't imagine being without. You have family and friends. You have a job that makes you happy. And most important of all - you have your health. You are a young and healthy woman who has the same chance of conceiving as any other 23 year old whose been ttc naturally for 4 months. I know that you've been through a heck of alot in the last few years and because of the vag you've been wanting this for sometime. But you did it Donna  - you over came it all by yourself and now you are just like any other woman out there ttc. There is nothing else wrong with you. There is nothing stopping this from happening. You just have to keep going. You're doing everything you need to be to achieve the ultimate goal. IT WILL HAPPEN!

Polly - So, so excited for you. Best of luck with your jab tonight!

Emma - Hope the journey to MIL went alright!


Speak to you all later x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks guys what you said has helped and I agreed with everything you both said but........ tere is always a but at the back of my mind.
I have no idea if I am depressed or not, and don't really want to get onto the anti depresent pills as I am sure this wont help with ttc.

I think what has pushed me over the edge this time is finding out another friend is pregnant - thats 5 now! it also only took her 2 months, meaning she has only has 1 negative cycle not the 19 I have! ok I know 10 of them were with a turkey baster and probably not that likely to work but the expectations and failing was still teh same each time and still hurt, so emotionally I still count them.

I don't want to come on here and be down all teh time I know none of you would openly say it but it must bore you with me moaning all the time especially when you have such great exciting things happening at the moment.

Its not just ttc although that is the main thing life is just one thing after the other, I have lost count the number of times I have thought just get through this and things will be ok, only for there to be some other knock back round the corner, DH being off work with broken arm, me being out of work etc etc.
There is only so many times you can pick yourselve up brush yourself off and try again and I think I have reached my limit. Its one stress after another, I cant remember when I was carefree and 100% happy! ok maybe your never 100%happy.

I feel alone and I know I'm not but the pain I fell only I feel it, DH has his own pain to I can see but its to much and I don't know how to cope with it!

Donna


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Donna - A friend of mine who has suffered from depression in the past planted a seed of thought in my mind that helped. She simply said you have to stop thinking that you're a pooh magnet. Meaning you have to stop believing that only bad things happen to you and there's only more of it lined up. Yes, you've had your fair share of naff times over the last couple of years, but they're in the past Donna. Time to stop dwelling on them, brush yourself off and get back on that horse. I know you're a very strong woman who simply needs to be reminded that she is. One evening I was led in bed and thought to myself, "right that's it. I've had enough of feeling like this. You can throw what you like at me but you *will not* beat me. I will get pg. If you are going to send me down the long road to get there, so be it, but I'll show you and I will do it"

Don't let life beat you Donna, FIGHT BACK! Go out there and get what you want and have a great journey along the way.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Annie I do appriciate what you have said and I don't want to effend you but I just can't belive right now that its that easy.
It looks like it will be a long road for me and life will throw more $hit at me and I just can;t cope with it anymore, I've kept thinking I will get there and it wont beat me but starting to think that maybe I wont ever get there and it will beat me!

Took your advice Polly and went to brighton today, partly because DH wanted to drive so badly after just passing his test. we had a nice time and talked over a few things but can't say I feel better for it but guess it was better than sitting at home moping! got home and argued over milk though!  

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly,

Best of luck for tommorrow, how do you feel about it?
I hope it all goes really well, please log on to tell us how it went. Do you know what time basting will take place? I'll be thinking off you


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello, I'm back!

Can't stop long - got to go and pick up a Chinese takeaway.

Donna - sorry to hear you are feeling so low.  I'm going to come back tomorrow and offer my thoughts. Don't want you to think I'm not thinking of you now, but I'm too tired to make any sense right now.

Polly - I wish you all the luck in the world tomorrow.     Hope it goes well & can't wait to hear all about it.

Annie, Claire  - hello!


Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

Annie's right, you can't let life beat you. There's lots of times that poo happens, but I think it's probably true for everyone, even if it doesn't always appear so. 

Lots of bad things have happened recently, but they are over - you were brave enough to walk out of a job that was making you miserable, and then you walked into another - better - one. That wasn't something that happened to you, that was something that you made happen.

I don't mean to do the "older and wiser" thing, but having lived through a lot of life than you have, I wish that I had understood more when I was younger that this isn't a dress rehearsal, but real life, and that nothing and no-one can make you happy except yourself. These all seem like cliches, but they are also true, and when us oldie goldies say that youth is wasted on the young, what we mean really is what I jsut said, that this is the only life, it is worth having, and mostly that happiness isn't something that is done to you, but something that only you can do to yourself. And it works - believe it or not - if you put on a happy face and behave as if you are happy. That's not always easy to do, but what happens is - life doesn't get any worse!!

It is awful to think that the thing that you want most isn't happening, and to wonder when it might, but you are young and healthy, and that is such a positive that it will happen soon for you. I know what you mean about having 19 "failed" months - having had 49 failed months that I've counted. But like me, the last few months have been different, and so we can both start counting again. It doesn't stop the heartache that you have had, but you know that things are more in your control now.

But you know, if it takes another month or another year or another decade, it'll still be worth having! And the sadness will still be there til it happens, but it CAN co-exist with a positive and happy outlook on the rest of your life. You need to have as much fun as possible, not for any other reason than you won't be 23 again!

Donna, I won't say that your "moaning" is "boring", because it's not about that, but it is worrying that you are so down. You have plenty of ability to get up and brush yourself down and carry on, it's there inside you. I would tend to agree that anti-depressants are not the best idea ever. I have had two bouts of depression, one with pills and one without pills but with homepathy and counselling. I preferred the latter. And I do think that bach flower remedies can have a remarkable effect.

I'm not having a go, I don't mean to be preachy or sound as if I don't understand (because I do), or even really to tell you to pull yourself together, but I do want to say that we can choose our attitude, and that in itself can help you act happier and then be happier.

Tell me if this doesn't help, or if some of it p*sses you off.  And if you need another rant about the unfairness of life, don't hold back!

Love

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

My goodness, it took me so long to write that post that you've all sneaked in behind me!

Glad you went out today, Donna, not a miracle cure, but a step in the right direction, and better than not doing something.

Emma, how did the visit go, were you thoroughly spoilt?

I am SO proud of myself, we went to the hospital last night at 11 for the trigger injection, and I did it myself!!!! I just thought that if we go through the whole five months of this, it'll be a pain driving over there and back each time in the middle of the night, an hour each way, so I asked the nurse if I could do it. She was great, and although it took some nerve to stick it in, I actually hardly felt it. So next time I'm on my own (if there is a next time!).

I can't beleive that some people do clomid and the injection and then go on to do natural bms rather than IUI. I have been so out of sorts today that the last thing I want to do it the jiggy thing with DH. In fact, I'd be quite happy if he went to Australia. He keeps doing horrible things to me like making me cups of tea and cooking dinner.   This morning was the worst, when I got up and burst into tears. Then in order to be off tomorrow, I needed to pop into the office and make sure some stuff was covered. That involved finding a matching pair of socks, which reduced me to a gibbering wreck.   DH had to come and rescue me from the nasty 'orrible sock drawer which was just being rotten and difficult on purpose. He managed that while I sat on the bed and howled. I suppose it was just as well that he wasn't in Australia just then.  

So we need to be at the clinic at 8 for DH to do his thing, and then I get done about 11. Then it's back to the sofa for the rest of the day.

Claire - hope all is well.

Take care

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly,

It will take a while for me to take in all that you have said, I understand what you are saying and IF I look back in a few months/years when I haev my baby then sure I will agree with everything you've said. And probably say the same to other people. Thing is I just can't see myself getting pregnant, I know it sonly been 4 months of bms which isn't all that long, but people are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat all around me and I'm not so beginning to think that it wont. Yes we have had all test, but the way things go for us we will probably have unexplained infertility or something, I know I am sounding ''oh wo is me'' at the moment and I will try to shake it off, but I knwo that if I do shake it off I'll be bakc here again in a few months and thats whats getting me down most and making me not want to bother. I have to put a brave face on at work as nobody knows, but then I feel worse in the evenings.

Sorry I know it seems like everything any of you suggest or say I am just throwing back in your face and I am not meaning to do that I really appriciate youi taking the time to reply to me, its just how I feel at the moment I don't mean anything by it.

Polly - I will be thinking of you at 11 and sending you all the    I can master! well done on the injection, I had trigger shot once and I made DH do it!

Best of luck hun, and thank you again

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone

Can't stop, got an all day meeting off site today. 

Polly - Very best of luck today. I will check in tonight and see how you got on

Donna, Emma, Claire- Morning all,personals to you all later xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Sorry not to stop for long last night but I was so tired I could barely read, let alone attempt to offer any words of wisdom.

Annie - have a lovely meeting. It is outrageous that you keep disappearing off in the daytime. 

Polly - by the time you read this you'll be on the 2ww. I'm so excited for you. Hope it all went well, and wasn't too painful. Your dh sounds like such a sweetie! 

Donna - I strongly echo everything that Polly says. I strongly recommend that you avoid taking anti-depressants if at all possible. I have had 2 spells of depression, one when I was 20/21 years (got involved with a very unsuitable man and was treated very badly and felt my life was totally out of control) and again when I was about 27/28 (career going nowhere, felt like a total failure, and underlying concerns about never being able to ttc and sex). The first time I took anti-ds and really regretted it - they made me feel absolutely horrible, like a zombie (and with an unquenchable thirst), so I was there in body but not in spirit, plus it stays on your medical records (I missed out on 2 good jobs several years later when they checked mine). They are bad, bad news.
To my mind, the only way to stop feeling depressed is to give oneself a good talking to, and then make some big changes in your life. Nobody else can do anything to stop you feeling down, it has to come from you. Life is too short and precious to 'waste' it all on just ttc, even though that is the thing you want more than anything. So long as you aren't achieving that you will regard yourself as a failure and the past 19 months as a waste of time. There have to be other reasons to get up in the morning and things to look forward to. I know these kinds of things are very personal, but the things I did to get me out of a rut included moving to London (even though I didn't know anyone), ditching unsuitable man once and for all (even though I thought no other man would ever want to touch me with a barge pole), jacking in 2 jobs that I hated, getting into gardening, evening classes in something totally new. Sounds lame when  I put it like that, but getting a totally new focus or a new start really makes a difference. 
I know it sounds trite (and I feel guilty saying it now I am pg) but I'm convinced that the best way to ttc is to take your mind off it and get distracted by something else. If you are too busy to think about whether or not it has worked each month your are probably less stressed overall, and that has to be a good thing for your body. I know that is hard because we are all too aware of when we ovulate etc now.

In terms of ttc, it could be possible that your body has antibodies that reject dh's sperm. Some clinics offer a postcoital test to check that, I think. Also making sure your diet is really healthy (I'm not trying to say it isn't, I have no idea), withlots of fresh fruit and veg and not too much processed food might help. Not only could it help with ttc, but it might also make you feel better in yourself. Don't mean to sound patronising there.

I'd better stop, as I think I'm probably making things worse.

2 last thoughts. Does dh know how down you are? Does your GP practice offer a counselling service (I know mine does) - it might help to talk things over with someone.

Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi everyone

Well, I'm back, but not that ecstatic. DH's count was really bad, we only got 1 million  , and although the motility wasn't bad, the progression was crap. The lower limit for IUI is 3 million, so that was not good. I know that it only takes one, and that one could be hiding among 999,999 others as much as among 2,999,999 others, but the look of sympathy on the nurses face said it all really. She went ahead and did the insemination, but said that it wasn't really worth it, and we shouldn't continue with this treatment in the future. So who knows what the next steps are? Looks like plan A is out the window. Obviously we need to discuss it with the consultant when/if we see him again.

Of course in the meantime, we are going to do anything that we think might improve the . Vitamins, reflexology etc but we have been taking vits more or less, but maybe we need to go back on the expensive ones. 

So, I'm lolling on the sofa trying to be positive, and we will see what gives.  

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Polly,

I'm so sorry.  
Could dh have a virus or something that would make the count lower than usual? You need to talk to the consultant. Perhaps ICSI will be the way forward for you both?
My heart really goes out to you - what a disappointment after you were so excited.

Has dh taken it badly? Men get very funny about their   (well my dh certainly did).

Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Afternoon All

Polly - I'm sorry to hear that the Nurse wasn't too positive with you & DH today. Like you say though it only needs the one wiggly to make a baby! Like Emma said, you need to chat to your Consultant and see what he thinks is best for you both.

Should you need to have another go or move onto something different. Accupuncture could help.My accupuncturist helped some friends of mine who had done IVF 5 times. I'm not sure now if he suffered a low count or motility problems, but after a course of treatment from her his wigglies improved significantly and their next IVF attempt was a success.They have twins due in 3 weeks! Might be worth considering? Although maybe your DH can get his wigglies checked again before you do anything? Maybe this was a one off thing today? Whose to say his wigglies won't be double in mass in a day or two?

Whatever happens and whatever you decide hun, we're here for you  


Emma - How did it go with MIL? 

Donna - How are you feeling about things today. Have we helped at all?

Claire - Hiya matey! How are things going with you?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I feel a bit guilty coming on here with good news, when Donna and Polly are having such a tough time, but I wanted to tell you my news. We've had an offer on the house! £5000 below the asking price, but that is just fine (better than we expected). The people buying want to move in by the end of November, so we are going to have to rush the paperwork through at breakneck speed. We can't get in touch with the owners of the house we want to buy (she is due to give birth now, if not already) so don't know what will happen that end. MIL has very kindly offered to let me stay with her, and we can put all our furniture in storage, if need be. Dh finally found somewhere to rent in Manchester at the end of last week, which I don't think he can get out of. So exciting, but I know it could all go wrong at any moment!

MIL was very pleased with the news, and promptly told GIL who was most shocked (after 8 years of marriage she'd given up on us,apparently). 

Got to go - dh needs a lift from the station, Back later,
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

That's great news Emma     We knew it would all work out for you & DH in the end.


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Not been online, v busy at work.  

Having my own worries re the dilators.  I've been on the yahoo group for vag and have discovered I'm by no means the only one having the spotting episodes (although I never have with the dilators, but with attempted intercourse and speculums) and general consensus is it's to do with not being dilated enough so you tear as you're not stretched (or something).  Reassuring to know, but also terrifying me that I'll bleed now if I use the dilators, like I did with the speculum the other week.  Part of me thinks I should try the dilator #1 while I'm on my period as if i do bleed at least I won't know about it!  The other part thinks I should just give up.  But then I see how patient my bf is being, and I feel like I should grit my teeth and get on with it.  Looking for excuses maybe.

Sorry you're feeling so down Donna.  I've been very down in the past - not clinically depressed but pretty fed up - and you have my sympathy.  As the others have said, it's you that will get you out of it.  From what I've read that you've been through I know you have the strength to beat it.

Claire
x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

just a quickie,

Sorry about your news Polly, I really hope it works for you    Did DH have low sperm for your previous IUI? maybe vits would help there are people on here who have really turned there sperm around by taking vits! sorry that sounds wrong but you know what I mean. Stay posisitve, ark at me saying that! but you never know it still might work. As Emma saud how about ICSI?

Emma that it is fantastic news well done hun xxx

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Sorry claire our posts overlapped ealrier and I had to be brief as had a friend round. Claire definatly dont give up with the dilaltors once you get starred they really aren't as scary as you first think, I was petrified of them at first! I would reccomend that because of your anxiteys that you start with #1 and build up slowly, I really don't think you will bleed, I alwasy bleed with spectulums but never have with dilators or vibrators and I think onyl with DH the first time we had sex, so please try not to worry on that score. I f you do have some lught bleeding it isn't anything to worry about and as you relax more nad more (and believe me you will as months go on even if you think that is impossible now) the bleeding will stop - but I really don't think it will be a problem for you.
Hope that helped in some way? we are always here for you?

As for me, I ma trying I really am! thanks for all your support

Donna x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Emma - great news about the house, see everything is coming together. But we must never be worried about posting good or bad news here, no matter what else is going on. It's all important.

I've spent the afternoon on the sofa with a blanket over my tum - dunno whether it makes a differnece, but I thought having a warm womb might be more inviting. I've also done a bit of research, ordered the MG vits, and am devising a shopping list for DH tomorrow to get at least pycnogenol and co-enzyme 10. I will probably get some maca as well, but that is more tricky to get the right quality I think, so might do that mail order.

I've also told him to make an appointment with my reflexologist. 

He dared to suggest that taking so much might be counter-productive. I pointed out that when he does the research, he can have an opinion!  .

Donna, the last post-wash figure for IUI was 2 million, so also not good. I think turn the sperm around is the right expression, as I don't think they are at all going in the right direction!!!

I don't know what the consultant will say, he might disagree with the nurse and say continue. ICSI is so much more invasive and expensive, and he did say that the rate of success was about the same, so it was better to have more goes at IUI. But we can get started on the improvement drive straight away, and see what he says in two weeks if/when we get there.

Even the nurse said that things might just be bad today, and next week everything could be different.

Claire - I don't know about the others, but spot is my middle name! If you have gone back through our posts (I think you said you did) you will know my history (if not, I'll tell you) and I often got a bit of bleeding after intercourse. It never did me any harm! I still have a patch of raw sore skin at the top of my vagina near the cervix, and my consultant isn't that bothered, and neither am I. By all means talk to a doc about it, but my suggestion is to use loads of lubricant and start with the small ones. If you can be a bit aroused as well, that will help (no harm in using a vibrator or reading material: type women's erotic literature into google, if that helps you, and you can probably print some pages out and take them to bed! Or are you up to taking your bf to bed yet for some gentle fun?) That way, there is less likelihood of you being tense and there being a bit of blood. When there is talk about tearing, it's not going to be huge rips, you know! Just a little abrasion, and the above will probably prevent it. 

You have a whole team here ready to help you out here, and these girls got each other having sex in a few short months, and stopped me going freaky   after my op. Nothing is too much information for us! Feel free.  So no excuses now! (though perfectly natural   ) You've probably never had a better chance of getting over this than with the support of this group.  

Love 
Polly


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Donna/Polly ~ thanks for your posts this evening.  After reading them (+ a glass of wine) decided to go for it with #1 after all.  It went fine, I kept it in for 15 mins while reading a book on Iceland my bf bought for me (hardly erotic material, I know...).  Managed to move it about a bit but probably overdid the lube as it popped out a few times!  Anyway, no pain, dunno about bleeding as it's my period (which I did think slightly gross but hey it doesn't detract from getting to stage 1 again) but I think I was fairly relaxed.  Was looking at #4 and freaking a bit, and don't think I'm ready for #2 again yet but should stay with #1 for now.  But feeling pleased to be going down this road again.

Bf is (to me) the most understanding bloke on the planet.  I have finally told him the full deal with the vag (don't think he totally understood until last Sat night) and he doesn't mind one iota.  All along he's been playing it reserved as he said he didn't want to push me too far and lose me as he knew I'd afew issues.  The downside is I trust him implicitly (unlike past men) and would be happy to take him to bed with me for some non-intercourse fun but as he's so driven to not push me I'm having the reverse problem!  However, am working on that one... ;-)

Again, thanks v much for your support.  I don't think I'd have tried tonight if it hadn't been for your messages of support.  

Donna, I hope you're feeling abit cheerier this evening.

Claire
x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Way to go, Claire!!!

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning all,

Claire - that is brilliant news, well done!     
Don't worry about the popping out - used to happen to me all the time - it is just because of so much lube. I also found that they popped out when I started to take my mind off the job and my body was relaxing, so it is a good thing really; they're not going to pop out when your body is tense. Don't worry about #2-4 yet, just stick with #1 until you feel comfortable. What is brilliant - as I'm sure you'll find in due course - is that when you do move up a size and then try a lesser size it is really easy and you can see how much progress you've made. I have to say I did giggle at the idea of you reading a book on Iceland at the same time.  What a wonderful image! I used to listen to the traffic when using mine. I was never really able to treat it as an erotic exercise, but I know some people do (music, candles, literature etc). 
In time perhaps you can demonstrate to your bf or have him insert the dilator?

Annie - how are you? You're unusually quiet at the moment.  Have you had an appointment with a midwife yet?

Donna - how's things? Does work seem better now that you are into your second week?

Polly - you sound quite positive about everything. Hope you are OK. I'm glad you've come up with a strategy for the  . It is good that you're not letting it beat you.

I feel a bit like I'm getting divorced now. Dh and I are having to decide which of our things will go into storage, which will go and live with him, and which with me. I'm definitely having the PC - I can't possibly survive without you lot, and I don't want to use MIL's computer in full view of her watchful eye!

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone!!!

Claire - Congratulations!!!! I am so impressed. That's a fantastic achievement, you should feel really proud of yourself. Taking that first step is the hardest part. You take things as quickly or as slowly as you want to. 

Polly - I've heard keeping your tummy warm is a great way to help things along, so sounds like you did the right thing laying on the sofa with a blanket. Sounds like your poor DH might start rattling with all those vits   - but whatever it takes Polly!

Donna - Glad that you say you're trying to feel better. Just saying that you're willing to make an effort is a huge step forward. Well done you!

Emma - I can't imagine what an upheavel this is going to be when DH goes up North. You'll be fine though my lovely, you've got us to keep you company! With a bit of luck you might sell your place and find the dream home quite quickly! Glad to hear you're keeping the p.c!

Sorry - didn't realise I'd been quiet recently. Not intentional I can assure you. Not much has been going on really. I was sick every night last week so that might be why I wasn't logged on much. Feeling a bit better again and managed a whole chicken burger at the pub yesterday lunchtime - huge advance on dry biscuits!

Told my Grandparents at the weekend, they were all pleasantly surprised. Gran's have got their knitting needles out even after my protests that it's still very much early days.

Got my dating scan through aswell - 11th November at 12:30. Feeling very nervous about it. Rationally or not, I just worry that something's going to go wrong. 

Hey ho, what will be will be I guess.

Have a lovely day everyone!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - glad you're feeling better. Are you losing weight from not eating properly? I seem to be putting weight on at an alarming rate. I've just been out to buy some elasticated waist yoga trousers as I am rapidly running out of things to wear. They're in a very unappealing shade of navy, but were the only thing in my size.
I'm feeling quite queasy again, after a few days of not being. Lets hope it is all in a good cause.

You are lucky to get a dating scan. My health authority won't do one because I've had one done privately - how mean! Are you going to have the nuchal fold scan too?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma

Well it did say on the dating scan letter that if we are having a nuchal to let them know as they will confirm our dates there. I don't know wether to have one or not? Maybe I need to look a bit more into what it does and what my chances of having something wrong are? Any advice?

I have lost a bit of weight I think. I haven't got on the scales but my jeans and trousers are a little bit loser. I can't imagine having to buy new clothes yet. It still feels like I've just got a tummy bug that won't go away!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie - you only have a limited window of opportunity to have the nuchal fold test if you want it (I think from 11+3 to about 13 weeks). It gives you the odds of the baby having Downs Syndrome based on the width of the neck, or something similar. It is supposed to be more reliable/accurate than the NHS blood test at 16 weeks (and less risk of miscarriage than amniocentesis). I'm having one a week on Thursday (at 12 weeks), but some people prefer not to know. You generally can't have it done on the NHS so have to make your own arrangements; I'm having mine at a nearish BUPA hospital, and I think it costs £140 (also includes a blood test).
Only you can decide. Have you checked out www.babycentre.co.uk? There's probably some information there. My GP gave me a detailed leaflet about it all too.

I'm so jealous of you losing weight! I'm definitely not going to buy any 'official' maternity clothes until after 12 weeks, though.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh God, just completely freaked myself out!!! I went to the Fetal Medicine Foundation and was reading about Nuchal's there. It was talking about how some couples that go for Nuchal's find that the baby died weeks ago without their knowledge. Dear God this is so scary.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I have been worrying about just the same thing. I keep reading stories of people who had a scan at 8 weeks (like me) and all was well, then go for the nuchal at 12 weeks and find no trace of a heartbeat. I am so scared of this, and can't wait for next week to be over.
On the other hand, these cases must be the exceptions. It wouldn't be very interesting to hear about the 1000s that are just fine (although it would be reassuring). I try to tell myself that the sickness must mean something is going on, but then what about phantom pregnancies where people have all the symptoms but aren't actually pg?
I tried to talk to MIL at the weekend about this (ex-midwife and obs&gynae nurse), but she clearly thinks I'm neurotic (and I probably am ). She kept saying things like 'in my day we just got on with it, without all this worry and fuss'.   She genuinely couldn't understand why I had gone for a scan at 8 weeks.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma- Glad I'm not the only nuerotic one. I'm sure we're not the only ones to worry about the same thing. 11th November seems so far away at the moment and I think if I get to that date I'll be a bag of nerves when they come at me with the scanner. Eyes closed tight praying for good news!

I guess there's nothing I can do but sit back and see what the next few weeks throws at me. I wish I'd never gone looking at pregnancy websites now


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Claire thats is great news, I am so glad we helped. My only advice would be is to stop looking at the dilators as you as putting extra and unnecessary pressure on yourself, maybe look at #2 to see where you are headed but don't scare your selve by looking at 4. Well done on starting again it will get easier now you have cleared the first hurddle so well done you!

Annie and Emma please try not to worry as you said emma think of all the thousands of thousands of pregnancies that go without a hitch there not documented anywhere are they? you only ever hear about the bad things in life don't you.

Polly How are you? I am sure the vits will help and if needed DH's merms will be fighting fit by next month.

Work is going much better this week although haven't seen manager so far this week , so I'm running the place! Environmental health did a spot check today to! but thankfully all was ok! scary!
Work is the only thing going ok in my life at the moment for a change! was feeling a tiny bit better last night but not feeling so great today 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Donna - sorry to hear that you are still feeling down.   It is good that you come on here and say so though, rather than putting a brave face on things. I wish that I could say something helpful. 
I am glad to hear that work is going well - running the place already! Good for you.

Claire - like Donna says, I'd keep #2 to 4 hidden away until you are ready for them. 

Annie - hope I didn't make things worse. I wish I'd never suggested looking at pg websites. I barely look at them - in my mind they are for properly pg people with big bumps, and not for me!

Polly - how are you today. Did you go back to work? Did you get all the vits for dh? i hope you're not overdoing things.

I'm on my own tonight. Dh is being taken to some swanky restaurant by his boss as a leaving 'do'. He'll be back in the wee small hours and, most annoyingly, has forgotten to take his keys so I'll have to get up to let him in.    I can't be bothered to cook tonight so am just going to have a baked potato.

have a lovely evening people,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Can't always come on here and rant day after day about the same thing though can I. Thing that worries me is only thing that will make me feel better is to get pregnent, I am not sure what will hapeen to me as time goes on and I am still not pregnant! I know it could happen next month but if it doesn't I fear I will feel worse and worse if thats possible


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down again. Although pigeon steps are probably the best way to recovery. You're not likely to wake up one morning and feel on top of the world, but little by little it'll happen. That's so great that you're enjoying your work. Keep focusing on how good it's making you feel.

Polly - How are you doing today?

Emma - You 'd never make things worse. I should know better. I am the worlds biggest worrier. It was only natural that I'd read something and convince myself it's going to happen to me. I spoke to my friend tonight who had a baby a few months ago and she said she was exactly the same before her 12 week scan. Like Donna said I have to remember the thousands of pregnancies that do happen every day. 

Claire - I think the girls have made some really good suggestions. Put numbers 3 & 4 in a drawer for now!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna, Emma - We're all online. Fancy a chat in the chat room?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Doubt I'd be much company, you and Emma go for it though xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna, I've never known you to be bad company. Come and have a chat with me. You might feel better for it


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Help - I don't know how to chat, well where to go really! Do i press a magic button?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I have to try and remember myself. Hold on. I'll have a go!!!!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

I was thinking about you today, about that the only way to feel happier is just to make oneself, and how hard that is, and how one might feel that they were "failing" if they didn't make themselves feel happier all the time.

But, if like getting used to dilators, one set aside a time to do it, like, for instance, the first hour at work, or the hour after dinner, to put aside the poo things and not let them affect one. Then one can go back to normal after that! That allows one to still post on here and have the rant - in fact, one can post twice, once in "happy" mode, and again in fed-up mode - without feeling that one'll get into trouble!!!  Does that help at all? 

You are absolutely brilliant at giving good advice and encouragement to everyone else, and I was going to post this anyway, but then I saw your post to Claire just now, and thought - that's what I mean! Don't scare yourself by thinking that you have to be Happy#4, just work on Happy#1, and get comfortable with that. Then, just like Claire, you will look back and see how far you have come. Sorry that it won't make the poo go away, but it will help you cope.

Is everything between you and DH ok? A bit of a blunt question, I know, but your last sentence made me wonder...

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I opted for live chat room and it told me to look for subrooms. Where? this is way beyond my skill level!

Polly - hello! I can see you're here now too. What you have just said to Donna is very sensible; wish I'd thought of it.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No need for sub rooms Emma, go into the lounge


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Polly,

what you haev said makes sense it just so hard, what worries me is how I will feel if I am not pregnant soon and nobody seems to understand that! I am worried that I will get lower and lwer.

DH and I are ok, we are bickering all the time but he is has upset as I am! we talked in brighton, seems we have to drive for miles to talk to eachother.

I am so tearfull and its so tiring putting on a brave face at work and with closest friend who is about to give birth


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Thanks all for your words of encouragement.  #3 and 4 are out of sight (and 'almost' out of mind, but I'll work on that!).  Will keep to #1 for now.  Thanks Emma for your comment re the lube and popping out.  It was quite amusing at the time so I think that helped me relax more as I couldn't help but giggle.  

Emma, meant to say, I'm glad you're getting away from your horrible neighbours.  I know how uplifting that feeling can be!  Even though my horrible neighbours are long gone, I can't wait to get out of a mid-terrace, my bf was only commenting the other day that the dividing walls are like cardboard!    

Donna, hope you're feeling a bit better now  .  You've been so helpful to me, I wish I could think of something inspiring to say other than you'll get out the other side.  And yes, progressing from #1 happy to #4 happy does seem a sensible approach.

I expect every pg woman worries about the 12 week scan.  I worry and I'm not pg or even trying to be right now!  In fact I was torturing myself with a programme on Discovery Health the other day about being pg and more than one woman insisted on having a scan just to check 'everything was ok' as they worried it wasn't, and in every single case it was fine.  

Got to go, bf off to watch Luton Town live.  Sigh.  

Claire
x

PS I like these symbols!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oooh Claire - A Luton fan!

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I'm not sure about the chatroom. It moves too quickly for me and I get confused and left behind. I felt quite panicked.   Perhaps I need more practice.

Claire - I'm glad to be getting away from my noisy neighbours too (assuming it doesn't go horribly wrong). Ours is a Victorian terrace built of fairly sturdy looking bricks, so you'd assume the walls were fairly thick, but it seems not. Before them we had a deaf old man living next door who watched 'Last of the Summer Wine' videos each afternoon at full volume - you could hear every word - but at least he was in bed by 8.30pm. There are no guarantees that our new neighbours will be quiet either, but they can't be worse than the present ones, and they'll only be on one side (its a semi). I believe it is a little old lady at the moment, although these things can change. I'm not sure we'll be the ideal neighbours as and when we have a screaming baby amongst us.

Annie, Donna, Polly - hello again. 
Off to bed now. I have new PJs and a new book to enjoy. Sweet dreams everyone,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Just had to go and collect DH the clutch cable as gone in the car! see as I said its one thing after another!

DH has taken thursday off work as car failed mot last week and needs thing doing to it and we only have 5 days to do them in, if DH cant get clutch sorted then it looks like we will have to pay for a re test! can't take much more

Looks like I am busing it in the morning as I work closer (just 1 bus) and DH will drive to work in my car!

really pi$$ed off now!

Donna


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning

Donna - poor you. This phase of things going wrong all the time will be followed by a period of success and good fortune, just you wait and see. My car is in for its MOT and service today. I'm just waiting for that phonecall from the garage telling me all the expensive things that will have to be done to get it through. 

Hope everyone else is OK.

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Afternoon All

Not a happy bunny today. Have to go to Court tomorrow for work    It's bloomin miles away and on a really complicated case. Anyhoo,won't be around at all tomorrow for a chat. So wishing you a lovely Thursday in advance!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - are you a lawyer?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

sorry, hold on...    

No Emma, I'm not a lawyer. I'll pm you and explain. Can't share it on here.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Fair enough. Didn't mean to put you on the spot!  

Car is back, safe and well.   

I am having the most frustrating time phoning removal companies and trying to get someone/anyone to come and give a quote. I near enough had a stand up row with an old trout with one of the biggest firms (better not say their name here); I politely put the phone down in her in the end.  What is the point in offering to send someone out to do a quote 3 days after the date you want to move, I
I ask you! i can feel my BP going through the roof. 

Oooh, it has finally stopped raining. Better take the dogs out.

Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Annie I am intreged about your court case now to?

Friend went into labour this morning! hada show at 3am then first contraction at 5am, still at home contractions about 15 mins apart now, very exciting.

I have moments where I am excited she is giving in birth and I am really happy, then I feel jealous and down! emotions eh!

Not sure how the birth will effect me, hopefully she will have it soon as I said not sure how I will take visiting her. Obviously I am over the moon for her but does upset me to

Sorry to be so quick off to have dinner

Love to all

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Evening!

what a crap day at work. Got an order really messed up and have probably lost 6 grand. POO! I hasten to add that it wasn't me personally that messed up   of course.

Emma, it is a bit manic sometimes in a chat room, I rarely bother, but it's nice to chat with people you know a bit. It might have been better to go into a separate room and then we wouldn't have been as overtaken by others. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it would have been nice to talk a bit more between ourselves as well.

Maybe going on Yahoo might be an idea, it's more private and more immediate if others are on line, and you can do it one to one or in conference. Then we can find out about why Annie's in court and how much her bail is    

Donna, I understand about your mixed emotions about your friend. I was ready to move house when the girl next door said she was expecting. But then I thought that I couldn't keep doing that, so we stayed. I was extra ****** off, because I made her bridesmaids dresses, but why I felt that she had no right to get pg because I did that, I don't know!

I think I found it harder while she was pg than after the baby was born. 

Hope you get a removal company soon Emma, otherwise you will be borrowing my van.   Although that needs to go for a service and MOT soon (what IS going on?) - if we can afford it now.   Think I'll go and work in a shop.

Claire - how was the footie? I heard that Luton won. 

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - hope your day in court goes well. 

Claire  - how are you and your dilators?

Polly  - I hope today goes better for you (sounds like it can't be any worse than yesterday). Yes, the chatroom was definitely too manic for me.  You'd have to talk me through any alternative chatroom ideas - I am useless with technology. 

Donna - hope you are OK. Sounds like your night out with pg friend is off now!

I've managed to get one removals chappie to come and give me a quote later today. Trouble is they're based nearby and know the road (and its parking problems) and don't sound too keen.

I have decided that winter is here. To that end I'm going to pop out this morning and get in supplies (hot water bottle, gloves, scarves etc). Think I'll go into hibernation then. 

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi, just popped on to say hi to Emma, cos you'll be lonely without Annie! (You'll be a lot lonelier if she doesn't get off    .)

Trying to stop being so addicted to the internet at the mo, but it's not working. I'm looking for a site that says:

*POLLY YOU'RE UPTHE DUFF!!!!!*​But I can't find it yet.....


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Polly - that's so sweet!

You'll find that website also says 'Emma stop worrying everything will be just fine'. I haven't found it yet but I keep looking too.

You never know, you could well be up the duff. I haven't given up on you yet.   

Polly, your internet name always makes me laugh. For some reason, the first time you came on here, I misread it as 'hopping' not 'hoping', so always have a strange picture in my mind of you bouncing around!

Well, I got my hot water bottle, but totally forgot about the gloves, scarves, jumpers etc. Is it me, or is Christmas earlier this year? I thought decorations, window displays etc didn't appear until after halloween.

I cannot stomach tea or coffee any more, and have been drinking water all day long. It doesn't really hit the mark though. People never long to sit down for a nice glass of water, do they.

Annie - hope you get off lightly.   

Donna - hope you're OK. Did you get all your college work done?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Emma how funny I too read polly hoping as polly 'hopping'' 

My friend had her birthday today (on her birthday!) at 2:50pm baby weighed 6lb 13oz and is named freja, which ir prenounced freya.
She is so beautiful and has made me very broody - yes more than before didn't even know that was possible! even the hearing indetail about teh labour and birth hasn't put me off!

Haven't done college work   will try and finish it tonight as seeing training manager tommorrow if not I'll have to accidently leave it behind 

Polly you may well be pregnant I have given up hope either   
I'm ovulating sunday/monday I think so guess I should got on with bms! did have 's' on wed but poped out at vital moment 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all

I woke up stupidly early again this morning. Decided to get up rather than toss and turn and disturb dh. Silly how the most minor of issues take on a huge significance in the middle of the night.

Donna - sounds like you'll have a busy weekend of bms ahead of you.  I haven't had any S myself for weeks. I've probably forgotten how to do it.  We were too scared of doing some damage at first, and have just got out of the habit.  Plus feeling exhausted and nauseous is a real passion killer.
Can't believe you are feeling even more broody  . Isn't it strange how many people give birth on their birthday; I've known a fair few like that. I guess it is even possible for me (EDD 10 days after my birthday).

Polly, Annie, Claire - hope you are all OK. Are you all doing exciting things at the weekend? Annie - was your birthday this weekend coming?
I have a busy, if unexciting, weekend coming up - driving into London with dh to clear out his office, getting his stuff ready here for when he moves out etc.   He is trying to persuade me to go to a rugby match on Sunday. 

Have a lovely Friday people,
Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma! Stop worrying. When does DH go up north? Is it this week, or do you get a week together between jobs?

    at Pollyhopping, you two! That would be Pollyhopping-with-impatience!  

Where do you think Annie is. Maybe they got her bang to rights, and she's languishing in chokey. If so, lets hope it's Holloway. I've been in quite a few prisons, and Holloway is by far the best of the lot   Not to mention that it's fairly well placed for us all to go and visit (where did I put that recipe for file cake...), although Emma will find it harder when she goes up north...

Have a good weekend everyone. I'm seeing someone for a work lunch. I know I don't work on Fridays, but if I have to meet someone for lunch, Friday seems a nice day to do it. Not much else planned - the house needs a good tidy, and I bought some fabric that I'd like to make up - haven't let it mature though, only bought it last weekend, some of my stuff has been maturing for 20 years now! 

Gotta go and have brekkie. 

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - I wonder if you were in all those prisons as a visitor or inmate     
Your day sounds lovely. What are you planning to do with your fabric? Sunds like a pleasant way to spend a wet autumnal afternoon.

Dh goes up north next weekend. I feel like I'm getting a child ready for university, coming up with lists of dull things he'll need to take (plates, toothpaste, shampoo, washing up liquid etc) that he'd never think of in a million years. If it was left to him he'd just pack a few suits and an iPod. Somehow we have to fit it all into the car. He's renting a furnished studio flat, but it comes with next to nothing. I was panicking in the night about kettles and garlic presses, of all things. Mind you, if the worst comes to the worst, I guess they do have shops up there.  
I'm going up with him, and calling in to see my parents (it has been nearly 2 years ). Then we're actually coming back down again on the Sunday as he's doing a course in London for a couple of days.

Maybe Annie made a scene in court (as in all the best soaps) and they locked her up for the night?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home this way ladies >>>>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=39977.0

H xx


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