# Down day!!



## Lfey (Jan 26, 2012)

Hi ladies

Just felt the need to come on here and write.... Having a really down day today. 

I have dd to a previous relationship and she is my absolute world but i really would like to extend my family and would really like to give my dd a sibling and my partner a child of his own. He is a fab stepdad and so deserves to have his own child.

We did a cycle of icsi earlier this year which resulted in a BFN and us being told that i may have a problem with my eggs. This came about from us having a high number of abnormally fertilised embryos. The consultant advised that we would know if this is the case for definate unless we try another fresh cycle which we are due to start on 17/06. Now if we get the same results as last time he said we will need to use donor eggs going forward as the chances are my eggs are not right and all cycles will end in BFN,Mc/ or if we do get opregnant there is a high chance of there being something wrong with the baby ie downs.

I found out this morning a colleague is pregnant and know quite a few people that are pregnant at the moment, now dont get me wrong i am happy for these people. but Its just put me on a bit of a downer thinking about my situation n thinking about the negative side of things. I know i need to stay positive but its proving a little hard this time round. Guess i just need to get on with our next cycle n see where we end up.

Sory for the essay, just felt the need to talk/write about it!!


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## hiltra (Aug 16, 2011)

Hi Lfey

Sorry to hear about your situation.
If it is any consilation, I think your feelings towards pregnant peers are completely understandable and natural - so don't feel bad about it.
I felt the same when we were going through our treatment. It seemed that everyone around me was either sporting a pregnancy bump or pushing a pram down the street...
It doesn't mean you're not happy for your colleague but at this moment it time, it is a little difficult to deal with.

How do you feel about using a donor egg(s)?
x


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## Lfey (Jan 26, 2012)

Thanks Hiltra. I understand my feelings are normal but i just annoy myself that i let it get to me so much. And it may sound daft but it makes me feel a bit selfish at times because i know im am so lucky to already have my lil girl.

As far as donor eggs go im in limbo. When the consultant put it to me i said straight away it wasnt an option for me because if it was to be a success the baby would not be related to me or my daughter. Also would i love it like i love my daughter, i no i would love it but i wouldnt want to love it any less than i should. And i would be scared that later in life baby would want know who biological mum is etc. But after thinking about it properly i think is that being selfish of me towards my partner? as he raises and loves my daughter like his own. so al in all i really dont know. Does this sound daft?

x


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