# counselling course/trouble at work



## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi!

Forgot to tell you all that I got a place on the conselling course!

My plan was to sell up the house and go live with DH so I can give up my part time job and just do my freelance bits. (He'll sell afterwards and we'll pool our resources to get rid of his mortgage too and have a place that is ours.) But it's not going according to plan. Only one viewer of my house in months! That's why I said I might have to defer for a year.

However, I think I have decided to take a big risk! I have just about had it with the job and want to leave and trust that I can up my freelance work so I can pay the mortgage till the house sells, and do the counselling course. It's really scary as I only just cope financially now with the security of the job.

But I have had it with my part time job due to just one newish senior manager who seems to control a weak Chief Exec. The organisation has changed from somewhere special to work to one where all the good people want to leave. The rest are cosying up to the tyrant and behaving towards their colleagues in a blaming, backstabbing and totally unpleasant manner. Plus she has appointed her best mate as her PA aka spy. One of the remaining two nice colleagues (apart from some of the admin team) left today and the other has said that she's just keeping her head down till she finds something else. What's worse the senior manager who has created this culture is my line manager! Here's an example of her style:

I emailed the tyrant on Wed:

_"My car has a broken clutch and is in the garage, no courtesy car available. I am getting a lift into work on Friday morning. I would appreciate permission to work at home from 3.00pm for two hours as then I can get a lift home too_

(The rest of the time I borrowed DH's car so there was no problem.)

She had left work early (had to pick her child up from school don't you know) and so replied on Thursday evening, after 6.00, I don't know what took her so long! I quote:

"_As I now have little notice to say otherwise I will approve this but in future can you try and come up with alternative arrangements if possible"_

I blew a gasket! Does my reply sound OK to you? She's ignored it all day:

"_A, this is dreadfully curt. Actually my request was a matter of courtesy as I could just take the time as toil/flexibility, so I do not appreciate being addressed in this way. Of course I could not give more notice, it was a breakdown! I have obviously made alternative arrangements, hence the lift. I am trying to avoid using public transport as my hip and groin injury are not fully healed and I cannot walk far._"

I had no time off work after my injury and actually worked through considerable pain in the week following my accident. Any thanks for that? What do you think? To add insult to injury, she and her 2 toadies who seem to have frequent childcare problems are treated with every sympathy if they find it hard to manage their timetables - come in late, work at home, leave early, whatever.

So, this is just one incident. There seems to be at least 2 a week from her and the Chief Exec who she has round her little finger. And it isn't just me who feels like this. A male admin worker was almost in tears last week and another manager (the one with her head down) had a telling off by the Chief today for some stupid misunderstanding caused by the fact that she had been denied info from the tyrant.

The garage isn't doing my car till Monday and I don't have a lift so if DH needs his car I am stumped. If my car is still out of action Tues and Wed I'm worse than stumped.

Oh well, red wine calls!

Thanks for reading!

Jq xxx


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi JQ

I've had a nightmare at my new job the past 2 weeks. So far I have been accused of surfing the net (I have very basic internet facilities at work - I can only access 2 business search engines and that's it) which is a sackable offence - myself and another colleague were marched right the way down the office infront of everyone which was humiliating to the pair of us to say the least - and the guy who accused us (who is an manager) was sat at his desk happily browsing mobile phone sites some days later without a word said!

I then had my First Aid At Work certificate dismissed as not being good enough because it's a HSE course and not St John's - I am now working in an office where I am not going to have to deal with the horrific injuries I dealt with in my last manufacturing job - crush injuries, lacerations, limbs trapped in machinery, electric shocks but to name a few incidents I have dealt with! I am still waiting to hear what they decide about this, after me being a first aider for a month already at my new company I add - I have been a first aider for 7 or so years now!

Then yesterday was the icing on the cake after having some banter with my colleague I was accused of bad mouthing a manager - I was only asking if it was worth me booking time off with the manager covering us or waiting until my own manager came back off leave next week - someone overheard a tiny part of the conversation and reported me!

I was in tears because I was so angry - I left my last job after almost 12 years of crap because I was inbetween IVF, investigations etc, and I hated the subculture of bullying that went on there -now it seems that it's the same where I am - so I am looking for another job! I told my manager that I feel like I am being victimised, it feels like because I get on with my team really well and we have a lot of banter and fun between us that I am being gotten at by others - who don't see the hard work I do, the help I give to anyone readily, nor the times I am in early, nor the times I leave late!

Am really worried because I have another hospital appointment next month where they are going to confirm the date for my knee replacement surgery... and am going to tell them to shove their first aid - who do they think they are making me wait around for a week for their answer, and trying to say my certificate isn't as good as what the rest of them have? It's a bloody HSE course I did, which is exactly the same as St John's - I only completed it last November so I'm more up to date than a lot of the first aiders there! They make me sick!










Off to get my hair done and buy nice things in prep for my nice holiday away next week 

Emcee x


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## flipper (Jul 7, 2004)

Firstly, congrats on getting your place JQ. Well done your team. 

You're not alone in trying to flog your house, we've been at it for just on a year. Boring economic stuff but mortgage lending is at the lowest it's been for 30 years so if you have a plan B that doesn't involve selling (i.e. renting or something) I should dust it off.

Apropos the rubbish working environment, one of the wise ladies here once said to me "leap and the net will appear". I lept and it appeared. It might seem reckless but give it a go.

Emcee, I'm sorry the new job isn't working out so well.  You say you feel as though you are being victimised. Remember that harassment, discrimination and victimisation (HDV) is in the eyes of the beholder. If you feel harassed, you are harassed.  Ask to see their HDV policy and watch 'em sweat    Enjoy your holiday.

flipper


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## emcee (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi ladies

I have to say that the current economic climate is not good for buying or selling houses. It appears that the banks are clamping down on what people can borrow, and the estate agents are closing in their multitudes - I have little sympathy for them because it's them that made the housing market so outrageously outpriced in the first place.

I have every sympathy for those who are trying to sell their properties though, it isn't fair, especially when people have worked so hard for what they have got. I hope that you can both sell your properties soon, and that the new net is waiting for you to jump...!

Flipper, thanks for your words of encouragement. I have already begun applying for new jobs...!

JQ, I hope that things at work aren't too unbearable for you this week...

Am off on holiday on Wednesday so won't be around for a week, my thoughts are with you though.

Love,
Emcee xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Flipper and Emcee,

Thanks for your words of encouragement! Emcee, enjoy your holday and when you return think about Flipper's advice!

I am jumping and hoping for the net! Recent events have made me realise that I have to do this. Today I acccepted my place on the counselling course and decided to resign from my 3 day a week job by Sept come what may. Of course I hope to replace income by upping my freelance work at least till my house is sold and I can move in with DH!

I had no car or lift today and looking at the available public transport it was nigh on impossible to get to work and home again in any reasonable way despite the fact that it is only 20 mins by car! (too far to walk given my knee,hip and groin and too expensive by taxi or hire car given the wages.) DH suggested I take a sickie as I was so stressed by the whole thing and did not expect any compromise from the tyrant. I had no appointments, just a desk bound day. Until the tyrant came along my previous boss (the weak Chief Exec she now conrols) would have agreed to letting people work at home if they had no apppointments and whose normal transport arrangemets had broken down. (Our home pcs are even linked to the office to allow for working at home!) For the first time in my working life I took a sickie although I was well! Even then I did some work at home (6 hours!) that I won't be able to put on my timesheet, but I don't want to let people down. 

Work has just moved 6 weeks ago from a mainline station and bus route to somewhere less accessible! The train service from my market town to the market town where I work only has one train a day - given connections- taking about 2 hrs and arriving at the work town about 3.00pm and the only return leaving about 1/2 hr later!  Buses little better! (Infrequent, plus big walk from home to bus-stop, between stops and from final stop to work.) No direct bus link. To get to work on time at 9.00am I would have to leave home about 6.00am and spend more time walking than on a bus!. The return journey would get me home about 8.30. Thats 6 and a half hours travel to do an 8 hr day! I guess if you work in London that may sound reasonable, bit Londoners don't spend more time walking than on bus/train and earn London wages.

Sorry to bang on. Just feeling stressed by all of this and not just a bit resentful that parents are given so much more leeway.

Thanks for reading again!

Jq xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

That's totally mad - 6 and a half hours commute!!!!  I think any Londoner doing that is doing it for very good personal reasons, is certifyably mad, or has flexible working and only does it some days (as I do - and I get to live somewhere marvellous so it's worth it)

There is something terribly insulting about employers who are flexible around family issues but not flexible around other issues that happen to people in life ... Sorry things are so frustrating, but I think your plan to just be brave and go for it is the best one really.  My husband did somethign similar (I think I posted you about it) in October, and didn't work for 4 months and is now in a position that is paying considerably less BUT he loves it, he's getting really good feedback, and quite frankly he's a different person!  I'm so glad we took the risk - after all you only live once!

Which reminds me ... I need to sort out some life assurance ...

Jx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Thanks Pol,

Yes I remember your DH going for it -It is knowing people here have taken risks that make me feel brave enough to do the same!

Went to collect my car this am and the garage was closed! Don't know what happenedto the 2 mechanics I saw the other day, but the owner had left a note to say he'd gone to collect a breakdown- no estimated time of return! I was so stressed about being late to work and the tyrant's respose! Anway, feeling like that was crazy - made me resolve to have it out or leave.

On hol from tomorrow till 22 July, so I will relax and deal with it all when I return.

love, jq xxx


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