# Likelihood of Match Being Refused?



## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

I'm getting nervous.  The Matching Meeting is on Wednesday, we don't have to be there for that and the SW's have already unofficially told us we are a good strong match and given is the thumbs up.  After that they will set a date for Panel, which we will attend.  How often does a Panel refuse a match that has been strongly supported by Social Workers?  

Also, what types of questions are asked by Panel on the day?   

I've convinced myself that we are bringing this little Bluebird home, I don't want anything to go wrong now!


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## baby0684 (May 20, 2012)

Im sure you will be ok. Keep smiling  

I feel exactly the same though.


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

I've been wondering the same thing AuntieKatie. From what I have heard and read though, it is quite unusual.  In terms of questions I have been told that it is the SWs who get asked all the questions and have to say why they think it is a match. They might ask one or two questions of the adopters but we aren't the main focus (phew!).

We get past one hurdle and we're on to the next aren't we! 

Keeping everything crossed for you and your little bluebird

xx


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Personally I see little point in the matching panel meeting! They could all ask all the questions by email or call the SW to clarify and it would get done a lot quicker.


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

glad it's not just me!   everyone keeps telling me, 'oh why would you get this far and they'd turn you down?' or 'surely they are dying to get you matched and get a child out of the care system.' but people don't realise this is social services we're talking about and normal logic has no place...

my other worry is what if panel say yes and the ratifying decision maker says no? the answer i get is usually the same as above, along with 'why would they turn down something panel is happy with?' (which does pose the question, why bother with one, but that's a whole other thread   )

we've had so many things go wrong along our adoption journey, i can't feel confident about anything anymore. i hate this feeling tbh


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## Wyxie (Apr 10, 2013)

katie c said:


> we've had so many things go wrong along our adoption journey, i can't feel confident about anything anymore. i hate this feeling tbh


I think this is the problem really. When you've been trying to have children for a long time we've all been told so many times already that we'll "get there in the end" by people who are largely trying to say the right thing. I think it's hard to lose the nagging feeling that you may be one of the tiny percentage for whom it doesn't work out. After all, most of us who come to adoption have already been part of the tiny percentage of people for whom having a biological family didn't work out.

I don't think there's much to be done to make this easier, except to try and take comfort in the fact that very few matches are turned down, and there has to be a very good reason why panel feel that this isn't the child for the adopters in question. After all you're already approved to adopt so unless the child has specific issues that they feel you're unable to meet, there's really no reason to turn the match down.


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

I hesitated before answering..but you did ask 

it is rare that things go wrong at the matching stage..however it can cos it happened to us and I have seen things come up on AUK from time to time..
In our case there was a legal hitch, in that there was a third party threatening to try and overturn the placement order..we stupidly trusted the sw's when they said there was nothing the person could do  the matching panel had a concern about it but consulted the legal team during panel and announced we were matched. Hurrah..The decision maker had a different idea and refused to ratify until the legal situation was sorted. At the time I wanted to personally strangle the DM with my bare hands and just get Littlie home but looking back I can see she/he did the right thing..if Littlie had been placed while the legal situation was still hanging then our first few weeks/?months of placement would have been extremely difficult. thats the DM's job in the end..its to have an independent viewpoint and double check everything..

like i said, its rare for this to happen..I'm sure you will be fine

kj x


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## MummyAuntieKatie (Oct 18, 2012)

KJ, absolutely, we need to have a fully rounded view of what could happen.  

It seems just very wrong sometimes, the hoops they make you jump through, and often it feels like it is less to do with making sure LO is placed correctly and more to do with every rung of the ladder covering their backsides...   I'm just feeling cynical I guess.  But it's hardly any wonder there are so many children left languishing in the system.  

Anyway, think positive, think positive!  lol!  I'll be kicking myself for wanting this to happen quickly once we have a LO home and no sleep for weeks...  

We are approved for up to 3 kids, we only want this one, he has little or no issues currently, other than those usually associated with being away from his birth family and having to be taken from his foster carer so there is really no reason for us not to be good for him...


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

AuntieKatie, thanks for asking the questions that were also buzzing around in my head!!
It's sooo scary, I feel like everyone around is more excited than I am, guess that's because they have a more straightforward view on the proceedings!  Xx


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