# New to this site and IVF *



## Liss (Sep 7, 2007)

Hello

I'm Liss and have been trying to post on this site for some time now.  For some reason, every time I tried, I'd chicken out!  I'm not sure what's more scarey at the moment, this site, or IVF!!!!!  

Anyway...I'm 34, my husband's 37, we've been trying for 3 years without success and its apparently due to unexplained infertility.  I'm finding this very frustrating. It might sound very strange, but I would prefer to know of something definitely wrong.  Feeling very shell-shocked that its really come to this as well.  Feeling a bit angry at the moment as well...Also feeling frustrated that my Mum and best friend (who I've told) don't really understand what I'm going through as they both fell pregnant very easily.  My husband is very upset and we seem to spend a lot of time staring into space at the moment or getting upset.  We're currently living abroad at present, (although we're originally from UK), so also feeling quite isolated and lonely as our families and very good friends are all back home.  Normally a very positive and cheery person and quite shocked by 'how sorry for myself' I'm feeling when I've already read of far worse stories than mine already on this site and of course I'm not terminally ill... Being here, we also have to fund the cost of the treatment ourselves (here for husband's work so no definite end date) but I'm scared to wait till we get home to UK because I've heard there are really long waiting lists at home and unless you have a definite medically diagnosed condition you won't be referred for IVF anyway.  Hence, the very difficult decision to start IVF next month.  Blimey...have waffled on...looks like the floodgates have opened!  I would really appreciate hearing from anyone.  Thank you and look forward to getting to know others in the same position so I can start to think positively again!


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## BlondePrincess (Sep 7, 2007)

I wish you sooooo much luck <3, keep your chin up  as i have been told this site has some very friendly people they give so many kind words, and i know how you feel when you read others stories and you feel silly, and about friends not understanding its frustrating <3 but i guess they try their best <3 there are so many nice people on this site that offer suport i felt welcome for my young age <3 i hope you and your husband get your dream come true  <3 i hope i made sense through this because this is my first post <3 soooo much love Gina <3 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Hayley1980 (May 13, 2007)

Hi Liss,

Welcome to FF its a great site and you can come here as much as you like to air your frustration 

I wish you all the luck in the world with your journey.  IVF isn't as scary as you might think, Ive had it 3 times and I'm currently 20 weeks PG with a little man   

The waiting list in Britain is all so different it depends on where you live, I'm in Dorset and know of  many couples that have had two attempts on IVF through unexplained but the waiting list was 3 - 4 years.

Good luck next month on the tx.

Hayley xxxxxxxxx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Liss, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Sorry to hear of the problems you have been having makign a baby. Unexplained is always a very frustrating diagnosis to deal with. You will find that NHS funded IVF in the UK varies widely depending on which PCT you are covered by so proablby not worth concerning yourself over the situation here for now, especailly if you intedn to embark on treatment in Australia soon.

Why don't you join the cycle buddies when you start your treatment cycle? They can give you some wonderful support while you are going through this: *Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE
Chose the cycle buddyboard that most closely relates to when your cycle dates fit in.

Here's a few more links to check out:

*Meanings ~ *CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Unexplained ~*CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

You can "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the location boards. This is especially useful to find people from the same clinic as you.

We also have a newbie night in the chat room every Friday (times vary), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.
 CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

Hope you find your way around this site and I look forward to chatting with you in future.

C~x


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## Liz G (Sep 4, 2007)

Hi Liss

I'm new to this site too and very anxious about it! I'm less anxious about IVF though. I've been through it four times now and have two beautiful children as a result. I'm afraid that I couln't stop there and so have recently went through a third cycle that didn't work, and am just in the middle of my fourth and final! I'll know in two weeks if it has worked.

Getting started is the hard bit - once you do the treatment stages take over - and it gets quite exciting. Will I respond to the drugs? How many eggs? Will they fertilize? What quality are the embryos etc etc. It's the 2ww for the pregnancy test that's the hardest as there is nothing to do but wait - and drive yourself crazy with anticipation!

My philosophy when I started was to use the first cycle as an experiment - what's involved, how will my body respond etc. I could hardly believe it when it worked!!!!! Second time was like a free go I did egg sharing. It was disappointing as I didn't produce nearly so many eggs, but it worked again - a boy and a girl!!! Facing 40 I thought I'd go for a hat trick, but it didn't work and this is my last try. If it works what a bonuc - if not I did what I could.

I'd say go for treament, it will teach you alot and there's a good chance it will work first time!!

Liz G


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## Julie-Anne (Mar 2, 2006)

Hi Liss,

Welcome to FF   You will find this a great place for info and support while ttc. Good luck

Julie x


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## *Scooby* (Sep 16, 2006)

Liss

Welcome to the FF, undoubtably the best site in the world    Sorry to read that your having problems conceiving.  You have definately come to the right place for support and understanding.

I know what you mean about people outside of FF that don't understand what you are going through or anything about IVF, that does make it hard to talk to them.

Always hear if you need a chat.

All the best

x x x x


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

helo and welcome

friends and family can only truly understand if they have had issues themselfs. theres nothing worse than people telling you relax and it will happen. you just want to scream at them. i beleive that there is good clinics abroad so you should look around in your area. if your funding the ivf yourself the waiting lists in britian arent as long as if your having nhs funding, but you should look into the cut of age they dont treat woman over a certain age.

hope all goes well for you keepinghope xx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  Liss  
 Well done to making the first steps towards a more positive time in your life, posting on FF is a life line for many of us24/7!
Being told you cant have children or that there is no reason you cant have children is one of the worst diagnosisis a woman can face, so take one day at a time and believe you will be parents one day somehow 
youve had some great replies, already so be sure to check out the links to the boards here on FF - that you may or may not have found, I encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support from members who really do have an understanding of your situation,

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for your home town & a site search for your *clinic* 

Wishing you Friendship  &    


If you need any help just ask!
~Dizzi~


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## shill (Jul 30, 2007)

Hi Lis, 

Just wanted to say don't worry about the IVF - if you've got the opportunity to do it, take it!  I can only speak from my experience, but it really wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be.  I'm naturally cheerful too, and although we did have some down days, in general I think a good positive attitude goes a long way towards making the journey a little easier. 

So allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself now and then, it's perfectly natural, and then go for it!!  It's a roller coaster but then again I can't think of a better reason for doing it than having your own baby. 

Wishing you the very best of luck x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Liss (Sep 7, 2007)

Hello 

Firstly, a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who replied to me.

I am amazed at how replies I got and touched beyond words .  Thank you all SO much for taking the time, and being kind enough to reply.  I'm really pleased I found my way to the FF site. Having read a bit more on this site and a bit more about all of you, I can see that there are those far worse off than me and with great stories to tell,and excitingly, with great outcomes...and so...I've decided, NO MORE TEARS!!!!! We're done with that and it's time to move forward and start feeling positive about our forthcoming IVF.  After all, we're very lucky to have the opportunity to try it.  

I hope I can be of some support and help to you ladies at some point in the future as you have been to me at a bit of dark and horrible time.  Good luck to you all, THANK YOU, and I really look forward to hearing from you again soon and getting to know you better.

Feeling hopeful! 

Love and thanks, Lis xxx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *liss* and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try out.

I wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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