# Prospective Adopters Chat Thread Part 2



## Boggy

Welcome to your new home ladies!


 


Happy chatting!


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## Mrs Dibbles

Oooh how exciting I'm first!!!!    

Just popped on to say we have now been allocated a social worker and will hopefully be starting home study in the next couple of weeks. Been camping this weekend as we were working at an airshow so really stiff and tired now after a very busy weekend. Luckily no work today so having a lazy day. Hope all of you are well. I will try and do some personals later but need to read through the backlog of posts first. 

Speak soon Mrs D xx


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## popsi

just marking to keep up with your journeys xx

good luck everyone xx


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## katie c

hi all 

lots of people with good news...mrs dibbles, herbaltea, loopy, thespouses, nicola  for getting to various landmarks. must feel fab to be getting somewhere!

beebee - that day sounds really good, glad you're feeling positive 

AFM - good news days off again  (just done strange bit of shift pattern where we only work three nights)

not so great news...got a letter from SS saying they have our form, but there is a 'significant increase' of people registering interest and there may be a delay in contacting us for an initial home visit.  however our interest 'is important to them' and to bear with them...

part of me wishes we'd fibbed and not mentioned having treatment in november and we'd be in the system by now  although my sensible head says i'm glad we had the time out as mr c especially was really upset when the treatment failed in november and i wanted to be sure we were both 100% for it, and it wasn't just a knee jerk reaction IYSWIM

i knew adoption was all about delays and frustration but i didn't think it would start _quite_ so soon


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## libby29

Hi all!  Been away for a few days for my birthday. Hubby took me to spend the weekend with my fab sis and her family. Had a lovely time but glad to be home again. Work tomorrow though, so b'day officially over  .
Not much else to report on adoption front as just waiting to hearing about having our medicals. Diet has commenced after weekend of eat rubbish . Put on 1 + 1/2stone.... boooo..... since we started treatment and got to shift it before the docs appointment and just feel sooo fat right now and nothing fits. Only started today and starving already lol.

Katie c ,just think your closer than you were yesterday,,,,, and you did right being honest hun as it would only bite you in the bum later.xx


Bee Bee,  Glad you enjoyed prep course, i'll enjoy reading all about it xx

Hello to everyone else and hope your all well xxx


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## ❣Audrey

Boggy - thank you for our new thread! xxx

Mrs Dibbles - fab news on the home study starting! Sounds like you have been busy! xxx

Popsi - how are you doing? xxx

Katie C - massive massive hugs chick.  I really hope they review your EOI and decide to go with you sooner rather than later!!!  Have you thought of going with a VA at all? xxx  Thinking of you xxx

Libby - glad you had a good birthday xxx

How is everyone else doing? xxx


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## galaxy girl

Hi all! 

Just popping on to say last day of prep course tomorrow - has been really good so far, small group of 3 couples and lots of families who have adopted in to talk to us - which has been great - especially for Dh who finds it hard to listen to all the lectures/ do groupwork etc. 

Just need to be assigned a SW now....

Bee-glad yours went well! all over in one weekend!


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## katie c

Bee_bee said:


> Katie C - massive massive hugs chick. I really hope they review your EOI and decide to go with you sooner rather than later!!! Have you thought of going with a VA at all? xxx Thinking of you xxx


it's something to consider obviously, but because ours is one of the largest LAs i think that any delay would (hopefully) be evened out at the other end, as i imagine they will have a lot of children in care...

my friend i told you about used our LA, i should maybe ask her why they went that route rather than VA and could make a decision based on what she says i guess


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## ❣Audrey

GG - glad it is going well!! xxx

Katie C - sounds like a good idea chick!  We looked at our LA as well as the VA before making a decision xxx


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## Pink Lady 66

Mrs Dibbles said:


> Oooh how exciting I'm first!!!!
> 
> Just popped on to say we have now been allocated a social worker and will hopefully be starting home study in the next couple of weeks. Been camping this weekend as we were working at an airshow so really stiff and tired now after a very busy weekend. Luckily no work today so having a lazy day. Hope all of you are well. I will try and do some personals later but need to read through the backlog of posts first.
> 
> Speak soon Mrs D xx


Mrs Dibbles we too have been allocated a SW and now waiting for our Home Study dates, I wonder how long we shall have to wait ?


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## eknowles

hi all 
hope everyone is well.. 
ust popping on so can keep in touch on new thread.  we had a letter last week sayingwe had been allocated sw and should ear in next few weeks regarding appointment for initial home visit. very excited now and doing plenty of ready thanks to your recommendations.. adoption diary complete and now working throigh what to expect when adopting.
off to rome on thursday so will have some light reading for on the plane   
take care everyone will read back now to see where everyone is up to 
em xx


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## minmouse

Evening ladies,

just popping on briefly to bookmark the new home for updates.  No news from me but its good to read a mostly positive board with lots of progress from all you - Fab news ladies   

Not been on much as my laptop is officially dead, so Im on the stepkids clunky ancient desktop - time for a new machine I think!

Godd luck to all & speak soon
Minmouse
x


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## Arrows

hi all
Well, we emailed the adoption team over a week ago and with no reply I called them up today.
They said either we'll be asked to wait a bit longer or more likely given a date for their next information evening. Starting to get more real.
We were looking on the adoption.org site earlier to look at the kind of questions they will be asking/ exploring and some of them are pretty difficult to answer -as my husband quite rightly says -if you don't have children then how can you truly get a grasp of how an adopted child will affect your relationship? I know we can imagine but still, he has a point!
I'm really hoping things come together quickly.
On Sat we're going to some friends of ours from church to chat to them about their experiences, having adopted two little girls from very different backgrounds.

I'd better get some sleep!


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## Anjelissa

Hi all 

Just 'bookmarking' new thread.

I hope you are all well   

Luv Anj x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone just wandering if I can join you??  

Little bit about us.  TTC for 7 yrs, 3 failed IVF attempts. The 3rd go was in March this year only got 1 egg which didn't fertilise, received a ltr from hospital early May advising us to use donor eggs if we were gonna have another go at IVF, had kinda made our minds up by then that enough was enough and its now time to focus our love towards our family. Hubby spoke to SW in April and she reckons it will be between 1 and 2 yrs but not really worried about time scales it will be worth the wait. We are booked on an info evening in August very excited and nervous all at the same time. Have a bit of hurdle to jump in that we live in a little flat which just will not sell and it is no way big enough for the family we would so love to have, but we have jumped bigger hurdles than this and come out the otherside.  

Just wanted to share stories with other people and hear of others experiences etc 

Look forward to catching up with you all soon xx


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## ❣Audrey

Eknowles - that's good news xxx

Minmouse - I hope you can get a shiny new computer! xxx

Rachelclare - the answers to those kind of questions will become clearer to you as a couple after the preparation course but they will ask you - I found educating myself on the kinds of children that need adopting and thinking about how this would impact on us and how we would deal with it helped at out IHV.  They aren't going to expect you to have definitive answers but they will expect you to have thought about it xxx

Anj - how are you? xxx

AAA - you know how I feel about you adopting !  Welcome to the board chick xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

LOL Bee you were the first one here. Just to share with you all. When I first joined FF Bee Bee was the first person to reply to one of my posts, then a little while ago I did make a general post on the adoption thread and she was the first one to reply then and ha ho guess who got there first on here, its bizarre xx


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## ❣Audrey

I would however like to point out that I am not a stalker - well not legally anyway  xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

LOL you sure??


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## ❣Audrey

Haha yeah!!!

Oooh did I tell you all I finally got my immune appointment through?  It's mid July but at least I will know what treatment I will get then! xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Thats brill hun about time x


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## Anjelissa

Welcome always an auntie   

Lol....  

Making mental note........and backing slowly out of thread, and away from Bee    


Anj x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks Anj really looking forward to getting to know everyone. Bee is great honest x


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## ❣Audrey

Cheers Anj  - loving the new pic by the way!!!

AAA - it is nice to finally know a way forward!!  Currently 1 week since last attack - no great record there but at least it's been a week! xxx


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## Anjelissa

..Only kidding   

Thanks re/new pic. It's actually the old one I had on here for ages. I just put it back temporarily as I had also changed my screen name, and was talking to someone on here from a while back, who I wasn't sure knew who I was.
I will remove it soon, as now I'm at the end of my assessment, I thinks it's best to be as anonymous as possible.

Catch you soon,

Luv Anj x


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## Pinky3

Hi ladies - 

My 1st HS visit has been postponed till next week - just when you think your patience has been test to the limit...... oh well i guess its just the start of many more hurdles to evercome x x x x


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## Moppit

Morning Ladies

Lost us for a few days because of the new thread but glad I have found you all.

Just a quick one from me to highlight a programme that was on Radio 5 yesterday. Some of you may remember a radio programme on adoption about 6-9 months ago which I mentioned where a number of prospective adopters were interviewed anonymously on the trials and tribulations of the process. It was really interesting and there was a call in afterwards which also had various adopters experiences on it. Yesterday there was a follow-up to the original programme with one of the adopter couples coming back now that their little girl has been placed with them talking again about the process and their experiences around placement. It will be on the Radio 5 website for 7 days I think and is well worth a listen if you have a chance. The link is: 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00sr3x4#segments

Have a good day lovely ladies!

Moppit x

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## Pinky3

Thanks Moppit - the last one was really interesting x


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## Anjelissa

Hi all 

Pinky.....I'm sorry your first HS visit has been postponed, hopefully it will go ahead as planned next week. We have our last one (10th one) tomorrow, and to be honest I don't know where the time has gone! 
Before you know it, you'll be preparing for your last one too. 
Have you met your allocated SW yet? Ours is lovely, and to be honest after the initial one was out of the way, we have looked forward to her visits, not so much to the homework though  
Lots of luck that your HS all goes smoothly 

Moppit.....Glad you found us  
I missed a few days too, as I was waiting for new replies to the old thread!
I just thought everyone was busy! lol  

Hi everyone else 

I'm off with DH for 5 days atm, so I'm very pleased to not be at work! 

Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x


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## Pinky3

Anj - yes SW we got is a really nice person    hope your last one goes well!! have you got a panel date??


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## libby29

Hi all!

Thanks for that link moppit i'm gonna have a listen later.xx

AAA.. I'm in the very early stages of this long journey also so will be great to travel it along side you xx

Bee bee... sorry if i'm being noisy but what attacks are you getting, you ok? xx

Hope you all well and enjoying the sunshine xxx


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## Anjelissa

Pinky....I'm glad your SW is nice too, it makes all the difference.
Yep, we have a Panel date of 7th July (3weeks time!  )
We also have a 2nd Panel to attend (long story), and that should be on 22nd July (but not confirmed yet).
The first one is our 'actual' panel to approve us for adoption though, and we can't wait until we're on the other side of that date!! We already have a celebratory meal planned!  
Lots of luck for your HS once again.

Luv Anj x


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## libby29

Anj
Oh my goodness how exciting!
So close, it will be here before you know it. I'm so hoping that i'll be where you are before too long  xx
Libby xx


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## paula37

Hi ladies

Sorry but quick post as going to Dublin tomorrow so need to pack.

Hope your all doing well.  We have a pannel date for 2nd August aaaghhh.

Will be in touch properly when get back.

Take care

xx


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## ❣Audrey

Anj - good plan! I should change mine soon really xxx

Pinky - sorry to hear they postponed  xxx

Moppit - very interesting chick - thank you for that xxx

Libby - how are you doing?  I suffer from Hereditary Angioedema - its a rare condition that means that parts of my body swell up!  Usually my face, neck and airways so can be a bit scary! xxx

Paula - hope you have a fab time away xxx


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## Mrs Dibbles

Thanks for the link Moppitt, I listened to it yesterday and I thought it was really interesting. Their little girl sounded a gem didn't she?

Well done to paula and anj for having panel dates! Yay!!


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## libby29

Does anyone know the pass word for the adoption chat room today, i'd really like to have a chat on there if i could. xx


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## Arrows

not sure but I'd like to chat too


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## ❣Audrey

What's up chick?  I am now heading in to chat if you need to talk xxx


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## Arrows

What's the password?


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## Boggy

Hi Ladies

I'm trying to sort something out for you - bear with me! 

bx


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## Boggy

If anyone would like the password, please PM me


Please don't post it on the board (for obvious reasons!) and remember to be careful what info you share about yourself  


I'll try to organise an official chat for next week   


Bx


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## ❣Audrey

Thank you Boggy - you're a star xxx


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## Lady In Pink

Hello all, I started on FF a while ago now, which was my local thread (only a little bit though). However following a diagnosis of a heart problem and it being deemed too dangerous to conceive via IVF, we are now on the adoption journey. I hope you don't mind me jumping on this thread. It would be such a huge support. Hope you are all well. You are all from what I can see on various stages of your journeys and I wish you a lot of luck and best wishes. I look forward to getting to know you all.Take careN X


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## Lady In Pink

Just seen "Lady Pink" -a popular colour for a lady to be lol! I'm sure we wont get too mixed up ! We'll have to remember I am "in" pink. Found more in common with people on this thread than I thought I would ! X


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## odpchick

Hi hope you don't mind if I join you? I have just had a failed cycle and had previously decided that there were lots of little ones that needed a mommy and daddy so our next step would be Adoption.
Only found out this morning so it is early days.
Take care all xx


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## Anjelissa

Hi guys,

I just popped on for a quick catch up.

Welcome to odpchick & Lady In Pink   

You'll both feel at home here in no time!   
We have all travelled a variety of different paths that have lead us to our adoption journeys, and are all at different stages of the process but amongst many things we have in common we all share that one very important fact....we will all very soon be a 'Forever Mummy or Daddy'. 
Some lovely ladies on here are already a Forever Mummy and have lots of heart warming stories and advice to pass on.

Lots of luck to you both

Luv Anj x


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## ❣Audrey

Welcome to the thread to you both.  Everyone hear is very friendly and welcoming.

xxx


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## odpchick

Thank you for the welcomes, so how long have you both been on this journey xx


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## libby29

Welcome Lady in pink and odpchick,
You'll find loads of info and friendly chat on here. I'm just starting out myself and am just waiting for my prep course in november before it can really start. So excited though! xx


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## ❣Audrey

Hi ODP - we have just done our prep course 2 weeks ago and are awaiting allocation of a SW for home study.
xxx


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## odpchick

Hi Bee_Bee how exciting, how do you feel?? did the meeting go well, 
I have just read up on the adoption process, today though is too soon to be thinking about filling in any forms...but we will. xx


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## ❣Audrey

Definitely take your time thinking about it chick - you need to take time to grieve and stuff.  I knew from when we first started down the tx route that I wanted to adopt but still left it 18 months after my last tx and much thought later before making a definite decision.  I think you'll know when it's the right time for you but it is good to get informed and read up on what people go through etc!  

It's very exciting now we are on this journey and I definitely wish we had done it earlier but now is definitely the right time for us xxx


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## galaxy girl

Hi all and welcome Lady IN pink and odp..... you will get lots of support on here.

well prep course completed and now waiting on being allocated a SW.... lets hope it happens soon. have decided to order the adoption book for grandparents on Amazon...anyone bought it ? was it worth it? - my mum is asking lots of questions and i think some of the boks i have are too heavy for her - don't want to put her off!


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## Cars

Hi All

Newbies- welocme, the girls on here are fantastic and so supportive xxx

Bee Bee- soo glad ur prep course went well, whats happening now

Anj- best of luck on the 7th of July, bet u'll do great    

Well we have only two more sessions left with our sw and then she is going to write up form f, we are booked in for november the 
4 th, so far away but very excited! She is really happy with us (she is amazing by the way)and said we were a straightforward couple, whatever that means!! Anyway this has been a fantastic experience for us so far and i just hope that the next part of our journey is going to go so well!!

Love to you all

Have a fantastic weekend

Cars xxx


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## minmouse

Welcome to the thread Lady IN pink and odpchick   

We are all at different stages, Im crossing my fingers for Nov prep course, and I wish you both luck in your journeys.

ANj & Paula - good luck for Panel
Cars - congrats on nearly at form f - 4th Nov will be here before you know it
Libby - hope you are ok & had a good chat
Bee Bee - prep over, wow that seemed quick - good luck with getting a s/w soon

ANyone I missed - sorry - i wish you all a great w/e
min
x


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## Lady In Pink

*
Thanks all for the warm welcomes. **Still getting to grips with who is on here but I'll get there. I am on just starting out really, although I did attend an information evening for my LA last November 2009. Both me and my boyfriend found it really helpful, however due to my health we were not able to really commit to it at this time. The LA are suggesting we contact them when I am better. I think the new year will be the best time for us, as we are in the middle of a move too, locally but still a move and disruptive. What I found the most helpful on that day was the meeting of people who had gone through it. That was really interesting and made the dreams and hopes you have come more alive (if that makes sense)

Bee Bee - hope it does not take too long for you to get allocated a Social Worker. The course looks really interesting, from what I know and really helpful.

Cars - great that the form f is at that stage, November I hope comes quickly for you. I am pleased to hear you had a lovely social worker. The relationship you have with her is so important.

Mini mouse - November is your prep course ? That's great. I think different authorities have them at different times of the year don't they?

Libby 29 - November for you too. Gosh ! November is going to be a busy time for the thread. Good Luck with it. Did you find your information evening helpful?

Galaxy Girl - Hope you are allocated a social worker soon too. Re : the book. I have it myself, it was really interesting all the BAAF books are fab. I am giving it to my Mother, Father, Step Mother and Father too to read whilst I'm doing the course. I am getting them to do some work too !

odpchick - Welcome too, looks like we started at the same time. It does take time to make the choice. Like Bee Bee said I guess you know the right time. I was wanting to get into it straight away in November 2009 and was impatient that I couldn't but I know that now is the best time to proceed for the New Year.

Anj - Thanks for the welcome. So glad you got your panel date. Bet you on count down! So close! Will be thinking of you!Thanks again all, lovely to meet you all.

I do have a question.

I know some of your signatures indicate, but how long, from your experience on these threads in adoption does it take?

Have a lovely weekend! Take care. Much love LIP (Lady in Pink)

*


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## Belliboo

odp chick & lady in pink Hi & welcome to the thread.

Hi to everyone else too hope your all ok, we got our new puppy yesterday shes gorgeous & I've been having lots of fun with her today, shes a nice distraction from waiting to be allocated to a SW,  


hope everyon is having a nice weekend xxx


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## libby29

Hello ladies

Lady in pink, i didn't have an info meeting as there doesn't seem to be that much interest in our area so they are not holding any this yr anyway. We had a sw come and visit us instead and sort of had a one on one info evening with her. She told us everything we wanted to know and more and gave us the chance to ask lots of questions. Lots of ladies on here have been to the info eve though and seem to have enjoyed them.

Rachel78, how cute. What puppy did you get?

minmouse I did have a good chat thanks, nothing was wrong i was just trying to figure out the chat room  So your down for november prep aswell. Thats going to be interesting as we can compare. Its going to wiz by and nov will be here b4 we know it, ay?!

Cars, wow hun your nearing the finish line..... well done!x

galaxy girl if you get the book will you tell me what its like please as i think my parents could do with something like that too. Lets hope your allocation doesn't take too long. x

Bee Bee ...hi chick, hows things? Another day closer to bumble and ladybug!!x

Anjelissa, odpchick and everyone else how are you ladies?xx

N


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## libby29

Nothing much to report from me on adoption path but have had a lovely few days.
Me and hubby went to Good food show yesterday and had a fab time. Felt a bit tipsy by the end of the day after all the free booze i drank. It would be very rude of me to say no though  Some how we managed to walk into the VIP area without ourselves, security, stewards or anyone else realising. We spend ages in what we thought was a very generous public area eating posh nosh, sipping champayne and excepting free gifts.... thankyou very much. We even had VIP stamped on our hands on the way out so that we could return there later. This lead to us realising what had just happened....oops! Once we found out you could buy access for a meer £72 EACH we quickly went back for second lol

Today i have spent the day shopping and spending obscene amounts of money on myself and thoroughly enjoyed it.

All in all i've had a great few days being ever so slightly naughty. BBQ at bosses tomoz so better sort myself out b4 then lol


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## odpchick

Good Morning Ladies,
Please bear with me as I am going to attempt for the first time to send you all little personal messages of thanks, so if it looks naff I apologise 
Lady in Pink - good luck with your decision to go ahead and proceed into the New Year, it's great that we have both found this at the same time and hope to keep in touch through out, its still a bit early for us to continue forward so we are at the info stage.
Minmouse - thank you for your welcome, I hope that you are doing well??
galaxygirl - thank you too for the welcome and good luck with the SW. 
Bee_bee- like you said you know when the time is right and now is your time good luck with everything, and thank you for the supportive words.
Libby29 - good luck with the prep course, and thank you for the welcome, sounds like you have had a perfect weekend , Good Food Show and shopping one can't go wrong on either 
Anj - thanks for the welcome and supportive words, good luck for the 7th it will soon be here.
Rachel78 - your new puppy is gorgeous, what you call her/him hope the allocation of your SW comes through soon.

I think I have everyone...

We are still in shock, and the tears still keep coming but back to work tomorrow so that will keep my mind busy, have a wonderful Sunday and take care xxxx


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## Lady In Pink

odpchick - 

Thanks - yes we will certainly keep and be in touch. I know from previous threads there is a lot of support to be had from FF.

Have a lovely Sunday.  

Do take care of yourself and surround yourself with support when you feel it's needed. 

Lots of love

Lady In Pink


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## Arrows

Hiya Everyone, hope you're all doing okay and thinking of you all today especially.


Odpchick -I'm so sorry that things didn't work with your cycle. :-( A big hug from someone who understands. 



Lady in Pink - We moved locally about a year ago and I totally get the disruption comment. We're still dealing with all sorts of things with the house and it's taken a long time to come together. 


Minmouse - great that a couple are doing prep at the same time -November does seem like ages but I reckon it'll be here in next to no time!


galaxygirl - the book sounds like a great idea -we may have to get one for my husbands family -my mum is an adoption social worker anyhow!


Bee_bee- it was great to chat to you the other day.


Libby29 - ditto on the chatting! The Good Food Show was on in Reading a few weeks ago too but I wasn't able to make it -you made me laugh with the free VIP -go you guys!


Anj - good luck for the 7th.


Rachel78 -What did you name your puppy? Do you have any other pets? I have 2 cats. 


Cars- that's great news! Roll on November 4th!!!

AFM, We went round to some friends last night who adopted 2 girls separately at 5mths and 18mths both coming from very different backgrounds, ethnicity and circumstances for adoption. It was really interesting to talk to them and so, so helpful but made me realise how good it would be to talk to people who have adopted siblings and people who've adopted an older child too, as we're thinking of 2 siblings aged 0-7.
Our Information Day is 16th July, so hoping it won't be too long till the preparation course as although you have to apply after the info day, it's not considered official till after you've completed the prep course.

Hope I didn't miss anyone!


Rachelclare8


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## Anjelissa

odpchick.....I just want to send you some  
I'm so sorry but when welcoming you in my previous post I didn't realise your neg cycle was so recently  . I would have said more then had I realised  
As others have said, be kind to yourself at this difficult time, and take your time before beginning the adoption process. 
I can say from experience that although it is certainly a more positive journey than that of IVF, it is at times quite heavy going, and quite a lot of work, especially if you work fulltime.
We had quite a long period of 'time-out' between our last IVF and starting on the adoption journey, not only to be sure it was right for us (and we are now 110% sure!), but just as importantly to have some time for 'us' after the stress of having 3 neg IVF cycles quite close together. 
We went on holiday, and as I said, just had some 'time-out' for us, even though we were certain right from that point (as you are) that we wanted to go ahead with the adoption journey.
I don't know if others have mentioned this to you, but most agencies or LA's will want you to have waited 6 months - 1 year after your last IVF cycle.
I'm sure someone has already mentioned this, but I know how it feels after a negative cycle and I'd hate for you to start the process and then find this point out a few months down the line if they fail to mention it. The last thing you want right now is more dissapointment.  
We were lucky in that we had already decided ourselves to have a break before we started the adoption process, so when they mentioned this to us at the beginning, we had already had passed the required gap of time.
I know this may be hard to see at the moment, but time is indeed a healer, and before long, if this is the route you decide to take, it very quickly feels like what you were destined for all along.
I don't regret my IVF cycles, as I will never look back with 'what if's', but I really believe now that I have been unable to have a birth child due to the fact that I was meant to be a 'Forever Mummy' to a little one out there in need, and who is equally 'meant' to be with myself and DH.
I hope some of the above words make sense to you hun.  
I know words can't help, but I did get comfort that so many others on here completely understood how I felt when I was where you are right now, and so, in a way no words were needed.

Lots of luck with your new and exciting journey, and keep us updated with how things go for you x

Luv Anj x


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## ❣Audrey

Odp - thinking of you xxx

Rachel - how nice that you have friends who have adopted!  

Anj - how are you doing?  Not long now!

How is everyone else doing? xxx


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## libby29

lovely words Anjelissa! x


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## odpchick

Thank you Anjelissa, they are very wise and kind words thank you so much. 
It is really is early days and we plan to take time for us, I kind of guessed that they wouldn't let us apply yet, we had both decided that if the IVF didn't work that the next step would be looking into Adoption, I think on Friday I was just so shocked that its my nature to go forth and commence without much thinking   a pragmatist I think were called or just a little   which is why I found you all and asked to join.
I think that for now I may just stick around and add the odd comment asking how you all are if thats ok until we are ready to go forward with our plan to become as you so lovely put it 'Forever Mommy and Daddy's'.
Once again thank you all for your kind words especially the wonderful advice from you Anjelissa.
Take good care 
xxxxx


----------



## Boggy

Hi Odpchick


Just to share my experience a little - we found out we couldn't have children at a GP appointment on a Friday morning, and phoned SW to start the process on the Monday. WAAAAAAY too quick and it messed big time with my mind later on. Definitely take a bit of time out, grieve for what could have been, keep in touch with us then it'll be all systems go towards parenthood.   


Look after yourself   
Bx


----------



## katie c

hi everyone...haven't been on for a while as tbh have had nothing to say! 

odpchick - welcome to the thread. sorry to read you've had a recent BFN   it's good you're taking some time out though, as beeb said, you need time to grieve. it's so tough.   

LIP - welcome too. again sorry to read about your health problems. good luck for the future though!   

anj - what a fantastic post, and i agree with every word.   i too felt very confident i wanted to adopt after the last BFN but still found the time out helpful. i just wanted to 110% sure i didn't have 'just one more' cycle in me. i know i don't now...and am glad i want to do adoption for it's own sake not just 'cos IVF failed IYSWIM?

GG - im thinking of buying that grandparent book too. i hear all the BAAF ones are pretty good

cars - november will be here before you know it.   'citing stuff   

minmouse - hope you get that place on the november course, fingers crossed

rach78 - awwww, that puppy is fab!

RC - good that you haver adoptive friends...will look good on your eco map   

beeeeeb -   


bound to have missed someone   

AFM - no news. i've bought myself a pandora troll bracelet and it's turned up today. it has a feb and aug birthstone, to remember my 'babies' that were...they would have been their due date birth months had things been different.   i don't think this is too mawkish do you? i just wanted to acknowledge thay weren't just a by-product of a medical procedure but our much wanted and hoped for babies.   

plus they only cost a few quid


----------



## Arrows

Katie, I reckon that's a really good idea! We remember ours and anniversaries but think that a bracelet is a really good idea.


----------



## ❣Audrey

Aw Katie that's a lovely idea!!

Well I thought all 'lady' related problems were over for me but I have started bleeding today ( my period was 2 weeks ago!!!) and am feeling really poorly - spoke to NHS and they said I need to see a dr today .  I've never bled inbetween cycles ever  xxx

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## Arrows

That's not fun at all Bee Bee -thinking of you!
It's been about 6/7wks since my last one and no idea when another one will turn up!

Better go as off out to a theatre group I've joined.
Talk soon x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps, found you, 
Welcome AAA, odpchick, and Lady in pink- welcome to the thread, hope your all ok

Hows everyone else, good i hope x x

Have been mega busy, been off work on jollies and tidying the house.
S/w came today, said saw no probs with us, we'll get official letter by the end of the week hopefully to say their taking us on.
Also, got prep course starting 12th july...arrrgggg...so excited.
Were so lucky to get on so quick and i told dh so.

Am very giddy so will go now before i start waffling

take care

nicola x x


----------



## eknowles

hi ladies 
well i am just back from rome so shattered but have had some news since away.  our sw phoned and is coming to see us on weds for initial visit.. so very excited yet scared as well as dont know what to expect?? 
welcome to everyone new and hi to everyone will read back see what i have missed. 
em xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone, so sorry feel like i have kinda posted and then done a runner. Its really busy at the mo, SIL gets married on 3 July and its just mad crazy busy at the moment. Hope everyone is ok, promise once the wedding has been and gone I will be around more. 

Take care everyone


----------



## Arrows

went to rehearsal last night only to be told that the new theatre they're using for this show is too small so no new people can take part. So, so disappointed as I've put off joining for that last 2 years because of energy and treatment issues and having finally gotten into a position to go, to be now told I can't take part is just such a kick in the teeth.
I agree with them that it would be unprofessional for them to have loads of extra people hanging around backstage and that they are overbalanced on the soprano side, but until now they've been saying that just not everyone would sing every number.
I've been told I can still audition for the society next week and can still go along "for a singsong" if I want to but think it's such a waste. I wish they'd told me sooner as I've been to 5 rehearsals in the last 3 weeks and spent hours practising.


----------



## thespouses

Just a quick welcome to the newbies, I'm not very good at doing personals though I do read where everyone is up to.

We have a phone conference for the overseas end of our adoption tomorrow night, we were sent a load of paperwork in advance which is all very confusing (and you thought there was a lot for the UK side...) and some of it is duplicating UK stuff and we know we'll have to do it again, but some is duplicates and we don't need it again, etc. etc.


----------



## katie c

Hi just a quickie from me as on the iPhone just about to go to the gym and then onto work...we've had a call to arrange our IHV second week of July 

Speak more later. Hope everyone having a good day


----------



## ❣Audrey

Nicola - fantastic news chick! Not long now! xxx

eknowles - how did it go today? xxx

AAA - busy busy busy! xxx

Rachel - sorry to hear that chick xxx

Katie ---- YAY!!!!!  Fantastic news chick xxx

How is everyone else doing?  I'm feeling much better.  They think the incident was linked to my HAE and I got my Addenbrookes appointment through today so that's a weight off! xxx


----------



## libby29

Quote of the week from mother dear "i had 4 kids by 28, think yourself lucky"....  yep real lucky mum!
Also quote from brother dear "thing is if you adopt they may not look like you"....  no sh*t sherlock!
Honestly some people! lol

On a better note.......England won, yay!!!

Hope your all well xxxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I hope to get some time for some personals soon, but it is pretty frantic here!   
Our SW had her Manager look over our final report, and we suddenly had a whole heap of bits and pieces to get done in a very short space of time! 
Myself and DH were up until 2am one night, and then up again at the crack of dawn the next day doing it, as we were both working, so otherwise wouldn't have fitted it in!
There was talk that our panel may be delayed due to things their end, and they are still waiting for one Authority check to come back, but  that we are still go for the 7th!

Infact our SW said her Manager was so pleased with us that she was already matching us up in her head to sibling groups! My SW had to stem her enthusiasm and remind her that our preference is for one at a time (with the exception of twins, being that they are obviously at the same developmental stage)!
It is lovely to know they think highly of us though    I just hope the panel members feel the same!


I hope you are all well,

Catch you soon,

Luv Anj x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Libby - people say some very inconsiderate things  massive hugs xxx

Anj - fab news! xxx

Our GP called today medical all done now  xxx


----------



## sweets x

hiya

Anj- that sounds very good hun, sw sounds possitive, hope they don't have to delay panel.

Libby- gosh!! people just don't think sometimes.

Beebee- good that mediclas are all done

Waiting on official letter to say LA are taking us on, should hopefully be here tomoz or sat.

Hope everyone else is ok x x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, did everyone enjoy the football yesterday. My husband and his friends are all backing the beards (growing a beard as long as England are in the world cup) I have to say they all look quite hairy now!!!! Aren't boys stupid!     

We have had confirmation that our first home study visit is next tuesday. Very excited.

Bee bee Glad your medical all ok. Its nice to get another thing ticked off isn't it

Sounds like its all good news for you Anj, well done and good luck for the 7th

Eknowles good luck with your 1st home visit

and Katie c well done on getting your 1st home vist date too. 

Its all happening isn't it?

Welcome to the newbies, AAA odpchick and lady in pink.

Hugs to any one I've left out

Will let you all know how our 1st visit goes, and beard update!!! I expect it will be gone this weekend   

Mrs D xxx


----------



## Lady In Pink

Hi all,

Mad with work at the moment.

I am preparing to take some time off as I am having to go into hospital for an operation. Everything is needing to be finished and is mad (does not go well with ensuring I am going into hospital relaxed and calm!!!!) Nevermind..........

Anjelissa - I do hope everything goes well over the next week or so, I am keeping everything I can cross, crossed for you. Sounds like it was all a mad dash around for you. Sounds soooo positive !!!!

libby29 - Some people do come out with some things dont they? I think it is really interesting, the fine line people tread when trying to be sensitive and putting their foot in it.

It has made me think about what people's responses will be at work. I have not spoke to anyone about my fertility journey except my manager, so have not spoke to anyone about the adoption. I always laugh it off when someone says "when are you having children?" by saying "one day, one day" I guess (or hope) the training supports you in this. It is not something I feel I need to broadcast but feel I will have to explain myself as to why I am on adoption leave, and have come back with my 2 year old after just 6 months off! (for example) Am I making sense?

nicola1x - hope you do get your letter this weekend ! Course all set to go your on a roll now ! X

Bee Bee - So glad your feeling better. Glad the GP stuff is done. Just to say Bee Bee, I read your diary and it was truly beautiful. I loved it ! Cant wait to read the next few chapters as they come a long. You've inspired me to start my own. Maybe not on here, but certainly my personal one.

katie c - Glad you got that planned for beginning of July. Hope it all goes well. The bracelet was a lovely idea, very special X

thespouses - hope you are well. You can end up swimming in the paperwork cant you !

always an auntie - Hope all plans are going well for the wedding and you have a lovely time X

eknowles - I do hope the SW visit went OK. I am sure it was finneX

Rachelclare8 - Hope you are OK X

odpchick - Thinking of you X

Rachel78 - hope you are enjoying the puppy X

Mrs Dibbles - very exciting,hope it all goes well X

Mini mouse, cars, galaxy girl, paula37, Lady Pink  - Hope your all well !

Gosh I hope thats everyone !

As for me, I filled you in really. I was talking to the other (better as he likes to be known) 1/2 and what has dawned on me is the excitement we are experiencing now. Theres much less fear than there was with TTC. We are looking forward easier and feel we've been given a new lease of hope .

Take care all X


----------



## Pink Lady 66

Mrs Dibbles said:


> Hi all, did everyone enjoy the football yesterday. My husband and his friends are all backing the beards (growing a beard as long as England are in the world cup) I have to say they all look quite hairy now!!!! Aren't boys stupid!
> 
> We have had confirmation that our first home study visit is next tuesday. Very excited.
> 
> Bee bee Glad your medical all ok. Its nice to get another thing ticked off isn't it
> 
> Sounds like its all good news for you Anj, well done and good luck for the 7th
> 
> Eknowles good luck with your 1st home visit
> 
> and Katie c well done on getting your 1st home vist date too.
> 
> Its all happening isn't it?
> 
> Welcome to the newbies, AAA odpchick and lady in pink.
> 
> Hugs to any one I've left out
> 
> Will let you all know how our 1st visit goes, and beard update!!! I expect it will be gone this weekend
> 
> Mrs D xxx


Mrs Dibbles our first home study is next tuesday too how funny i do hope yours goes well I am excited but apprehensive about ours wondering what we will cover first.


----------



## Lady In Pink

Lady Pink - I do hope it goes well. Everything is crossed for you. Take care. Keep us posted ! Love Lady In Pink.


----------



## Belliboo

odp chick    bfn results really hurt dont they take some time to get over things hun & hope you feel beteer soon xx

Libby good food show sounds like it was fun   

rachelclaire not long til 16th July now 

katiec I got my  parents the BAAF grandparents book for christmas they really enjoyed reading it , its a good book, I got a pandora bracelet too & put an angel charm on in memory of my miscarriages, your birth stones are a good idea  may look into getting them too!!

Galaxy girl I can recommend the grandparents  book

thespouses hope your telephone conference went well

Bee_Bee hope your feeling better hun

nicola great news on getting a date for prep group

eknowles hope your initial visit went ok

Lady Pink  & Mrs Dibbles hope your home visits next week go well 

Lady in pink good luck with  your op, hope you manage to get yourself sorted in work before you go on leave

No news from  me just got to wait, our new puppy is called bella shes 9 weeks old &  is a lhasa apso & shes fab, shes certainly helping to pass the time, we also have a cat whos 8 now they are still getting used to each other

hi to everyone else hope you all have a lovely weekend xxxxxxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

I have just realised that Lady Pink and lady in pink are 2 different people!!!! Doh!!         Sorry for being stupid!!!!


----------



## katie c

hi all...just back to do a few personals. we're off on holiday tomorrow (going to scotland for a week) so won't be around for a fews days 

nicola - great news about the prep course being so soon!  hope the letter has arrived by now

ek - cool, another IHV, great news 

rc - what a shame about the theatre group  it's their loss...they sound pretty joyless and cliquey to me. take up archery like me, we'll have anyone 

ts - boo to the paperwork. guess we have that to look forward too... 

beeb - glad you're feeling better 

libby - ouch to your mum  my mum was similar...'well i feel pregnant with you first month, can't think what _your_ problem is' 

anj - everything sounds really really positive for you, good luck! 

mrs d and lp - good luck with the home study

l-i-p - hope the op goes ok 

rach - thanks for the rec re the book, i'll add that to my list

i'm sure i've covered everyone, haven't i?


----------



## eknowles

hi all 
sorry for lack of esponse but have been looking after DH who has had a sickness bug since wed night
IHV went exceptionally well think we might have talked the ears off her but everything was great.  talked alot about ivf, our families and why we wanted to adopt.  she wrote everything down and said from what she had seen she would say we should be accepted (as long as her manager agreed).  when we sai our last cycle was march she didn't bat an eyelid maybe due to there being no prep courses until sept.  mentioned about our last remaining cycle andshe said its not a porblem we have this aslong as we dont use whilst going through the adoption process.  as for depression she asked what had caused both of our bouts and didn't say could be a problem.  she did however mention they would try and contact my ex which came as bit of a shock as not sure how he would be about being contacted but will have to try and track down prior and give him a heads up. 
anyway enough about me (this is what i was like on weds natter natter)
katie c - have a fab holiday hope you have great weather 
rc - what a bummer about the theatre group they dont know what they're missing
nicola - fab news on the prep course 
libby - dont really know what to say about your mum other than she may not realise what she is saying 
ts, beeb, anj, mrs d, lp, lip, rach (sorry if missed anyone) hi and hope you all have a great weekend ... fingers crossed for sunday
em xx


----------



## panorama

Hi Everyone

Sorry for no personals today, will do some next week but am really excited so wanted to let you know we are officially starting on the 16th July with our first home visit!! Yay! Emailed social worker we had our initial visit with last september and we have been allocated her as our social worker!    Yay, she is really nice too!

We start home study on the 16th next month but then she is off for august so next one is september, and then prep courses will be october simultaneously. After waiting what seems yonks I am so excited to get going!!   

Hope you all have a lovely weekend and hope to catch up with you all next week!

Rachel - your puppy is adorable!! 

Love Alli xx


----------



## Arrows

Hiya everyone -hope you all have a fab weekend!

I'm desperately in need of sleep -not a heat person- and looking forward to a lie-in tomorrow!
I have such crazy amounts of stuff to do over the next few weeks that I'm sure they'll literally fly by till the info evening!

Anj -great news

Sorry I've no more time for personals today but will talk soon!


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

We had our 1st HV this week - i think it went really well and we booked the next few appointments in already (something to focus on!!)

Alli - we got the sw we wanted too    

Em - glad the visit went well   

Rachel - i love your puppy   

hope everyone is well - this group seems massive!! i cant keep up


----------



## libby29

Fed up today guys, sis in law having cramps so therefor is going to be giving birth in the next few days. How do i cope with this? How do i go and visit them in maternity while knowing everyone is looking at me to see how i respond? I'm looking forward to meeting my niece just not the uncomfortable situation that comes with it. Fed up with always being the visiter and cooing over everyone else's miracles. God i sound a bloody grumpy mare dont i?! lol I love being an aunty and am very excited to meet my new niece but i want to have my mum say to me for once "thankyou for making me a granma again". I know all you ladies have probably felt the same at some point so thought i'd let of some steam lol
Hopefully I will make mum a granma again one day when i find my little darling thats out there waiting for me  xx


----------



## Arrows

I totally understand what you mean -you are definitely not alone Libby!
If your anything like me, then you know yourself that you'll go there feeling worried and naff but once you meet your niece you'll fall in love with her in a split second and be genuinely happy.
One day it will be your turn to be cooed over - the day your bring home your own son or daughter -the fact that they will be a little older shouldn't matter! There'll still be that moment when you introduce your child for the first time and say "......, I want you to meet your grandma. Mum, this is your new grandchild ......."! I'm sure when that day comes for each of us there will be tears of joy all round!


----------



## Pinky3

Libby - I total agree with what Rachelclare has said   I totaly understand how you feel - my little sis just gave birth to her 2nd baby this week.  I've had all the  'oohh aunty again' remarks (yes 23 times an aunty now) and all the 'it must be so hard' comments - and we just nod and smile    I love all my nieces and nephews dearly, but it IS hard        feel free to rant!!


----------



## sweets x

hiya peeps 

Libby- like the others have said, we all understand. You just have to put on your brave face, which we all do and see your niece. Must be hard with everyone watching but you'll get through it hun and soon it will be your turn x x

Lady in pink- hope op goes ok hun. Agree with you  on the less fear than ttc. To be honest, feels like a weight has been lifted since leaving the ttc journey behind.

Lady pink- Hope first hv goes well tomoz

Racheal78- hope your enjoying your puppy x 

Katie- hope you have a nice holiday

eknowles- glad 1st hv went well hun 

alli- roll on the 16th x

pinky- glad your hv went well too 

Hi rachealclare, beebee, maccer and anj, thespouses, always an auntie, odpchick, mrs dibbles and anyone i have missed, hope your all ok.

as for me, still no letter, going to wait for todays post nad then ring if nothing comes as dh needs to book the time off at work and its only 2wks away.

take care

nicola x


----------



## panorama

Nicola - hope you get your letter soon    

Libby - totally know how you feel, it is a little bittersweet cos you want to be happy for them but you just feel so sad for you    Do what feels right for you. My sister had my niece last year and there was no way i was going to go to maternity, I think she thought I was being selfish and even said I should do it to get over my fear of maternity wards     Frankly I didn't! Just went to see them when she came out of hospital which for me was loads better. So hard not to be jealous really, no matter how much we try! But after a while you totally grow to love your nieces and nephews, they make me feel very special   

Like Rachel says one day we will be able to introduce our very special little ones, makes me    just thinking about it!   

Pinky - glad your first HV went well! Can't wait for mine!   

eknowles - glad your first visit went well   

Katie - have a nice holiday! 

That's a few personals done, hopefully can do more later in the week, got some work to do!! 

Such lovely weather!

A xx


----------



## sieve

Hello all

Hope you don't mind me joining in.  we are at start of adoption journey, been on prep course which was fantastic and now starting home study.  our social worker seems lovely and has asked us to start writing a bit about our background but omg where do you start      she is coming back in a couple of days to see how we are getting on, i have been away for few days so we are sitting down tonight to try and crack some of it.  Any info on any part of home study from you guys would be most appreciated.


----------



## sweets x

Hiya

sieve- welcome hun and good luck on your journey.

hope everyone is ok

still didn't get my letter, so rang them instead, its now official, were being took on by our LA and are on the prep course in 2wks time...so excited!!

take care


----------



## thespouses

Good news Nicola, as I've said I'm really rubbish at personals but have read what people are up to!

Sieve, we had to write something, we just started at the beginning (born in... went to school in...) and then where she wanted more details she asked.

We had our phone call with the overseas agency and it went pretty well, they are not quite what we were hoping for and we have even MORE paperwork (I cannot remember what I said last time) but the next step is taking loads of cheesy photos. So we were doing that at the weekend as we are going away for quite a bit in the summer and needed photos of house etc. Then we can take the laptop and work on forms etc. while we are away.


----------



## Arrows

hi all. Major disappointment for us today -after being told place and times yesterday, today we've found out we haven't got on the course starting 16th July but instead are top of the reserve list. We need 2 people to cancel/decline in the next week if we are to be able to go. :-(

Timings we've been told are:
Info: 16th July - prep: Oct/Nov
or
Info: Sept - prep: Feb/March

So now praying like crazy that some more people drop out so we get a place as such a huge difference in timings and dates.

Disappointed but hoping against reason.


----------



## sweets x

Rachealclare- how dissapointing, hope you still get on hun.

Hope everyone else is ok x


----------



## libby29

Oh no i missed chat tonight! Was watching the footie and forgot all about it, gutted!
Wanted to thank all you lovely ladies for your advice and experience on dealing with the new neice situation. SIL hasnt had her yet but i'm sure it will be any day now. Made myself go out and buy them a card and a little pink rabbit blanky teddy for her to snuggle up with. Was hard but i sucked it up and did it. Think i might wait and visit them at home rather than being a freak show at maternity. Think i'll make myself busy at work for next few days. 
Rachelclare8 thats rubbish hun! If your anything like me then you'll just want to get started but whats a few month more in the grand scheme of things. You'll get to spend the rest of your life with any littlie thats placed with you, and thats worth waiting for  Hard but you'll get there b4 you know it xxxxx


----------



## minmouse

Hi Ladies,
Just to say, Im lurking, and keeping up to speed with all your news - some fab progress and good news - well done all.  Welcome to sieve.
Nothign to report my end, and Im stupidly busy at work, away from home, and trying to get bathroom refurbed when I have time so Ill be quiet for a wee bit    Good luck & hugs to u all & i'll be back to check up on you all just as soon as I can.
minmouse 
x


----------



## Lady In Pink

Hi all. 
Sorry no personal's today as I am dashing out this evening, but wanted to say I am thinking of all of you. 
There are so many people on this thread its hard to keep up but it is so nice to hear every ones journey. 
I am still at the same place really, waiting for a date for the op and keeping everything crossed that it will all be OK and I can then proceed as planned in January. It is really helping me through knowing we have that planned for once I am recovered. 
Just need to get through the next 6months.......!!!!! 
Take care all
LIP


----------



## ❣Audrey

No personals from me today - quick catch up - have read through will read again when I have time.  Sorry I missed chat - basically Pink played in the town near where I live yesterday evening and as they parked the tour bus in our loading bay at work, we got offered free tickets.  I wouldn't have gone only a lad who has been working with us a while has an 8 year old brother who is severely autistic and coincidentally Pinks biggest fan - so a few of us took him!  It was so worth it bless him! Then I ended the evening with another HAE attack .  Anyway love to everyone and catch up later xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all, 

..............1 week to go until panel!!!!!   
I remember reading others say that, and thinking, ''oooh, I wish I could skip forward to where they are now!!'
To all those just embarking on their adoption journey, you will get there before you know it, I promise 

We had our invitation letter in post today, so it's all official!  
It looks like there will be about 9 members attending, plus our lovely SW.
We have our Surestart monitoring day on 5th July (2 days before panel  ) (I still have to do this, even though I have been volunteering at our local nursery/infant school). There are quite a lot of worksheets etc connected to this, that we will have to do and take with us to panel to be added to all our work & report on the day, so I'll be glad when that's all done.
Our SW has told us that they have been singing our praises, as her boss was so pleased with our HS work that it has been used in a SW training session, and it will be used as a 'benchmark' for making a few changes in the HS for our LA in the near future. We were so pleased to hear this as it has given us an bit of injection of courage for panel!  
We have a 'celebration' meal planned for the evening of 7th (we're being positive  ) and have booked a 3 day break in Northern Cornwall for mid July, just to get away for a small break and a bit of a breather after the 'manic-ness (is that a word?!) of recent months!

I'm going to attempt a few personals, sorry if I miss you. I only have time to read back a few pages.

Katie....Thank you for your good luck msg, I hope you're having a fab holiday.

Lady in Pink....Thank you for keeping everything crossed for me. Jan will be here b4 you know it hun  (if the first half of this year is anything to go by!) It's just whizzed past hasn't it!  
Your answer to people asking, 'when are you having children?' struck a chord in me as I used to say the same....'one day, one day'. I then went completely the other way and used to answer that I was having IVF etc, which usually made them wish they hadn't asked! lol  (good!...nosey buggers!). I found people stopped asking when I got past about 35 though lol!.... Boy are they going to be shocked (the ones who don't already know) when I go off on Maternity leave!!!  
Also it's very true what you said about the 'excitement' of adoption. I had a real moment of excitement the other day when I read an email from one of my fellow prep-course members who has just started her maternity leave and her introductions (it was a bit quicker for her as she was adopting a distant family member), and it hit home how close we are now! I don't think I have let myself feel excitement so far, but am just letting it in now 

minmouse....Hiya, hope all's ok with you. I sympathise with your 'crazy-busy at work-ness' I feel your pain!

Lady Pink....How was your first HV yesterday? I hope it went well.

Mrs Dibbles....Lol  at your 'just realising Lady in Pink and Pink Lady are 2 different people', and what with our 'Pinky' as well, I'm impressed that we don't all get completely confused!  
I'm considering changing my name to 'Most Pinkest Lady' just to completely get everyone going, lol!  
How was your first HS visit yesterday?

odpchick....How are you hun?  I hope you're ok and looking after yourself. x

nicola....Not long till prep course, 1 week and 5 days will fly by (I'm hoping so for both of us!)  

Bee....I'm glad your medical went well  How are you now? I hope you're feeling better x

Em....I'm glad your IHV went well. I think most people are quite surprised about the whole 'ex & contact issue'. Myself and DH have both been married before, so it wasn't something we were looking forward to having to do. In the end (after a bit of trouble getting in touch with my ex), it was all completely ok, and we ended up having quite a nice conversation on the phone  .
They were both quite supportive. Apparently this is the norm, and most people are usually surprised how supportive their ex's are. I know it largely depends on your circumstances, but at the end of the day, even if an ex was still bitter or resentful etc, I think most people will decide that it's easier to just be cooperative with SS with regards to this, as it's less hassle for them too at the end of the day.
I hope it's as straight forward for you too  

Pinky....I'm glad your first HV went well  

Pinky and Libby....You both made me think re/'the always an auntie issue'. I don't have any siblings, so I haven't really had this, although I am a God Mother to 2 of my friend's children.
The reason it made me think was that my 2 best friends (one of whom is DH's sister) don't have children, and probably wont now. They are both really genuinely excited about being an 'Auntie' to our future little one/s, and I have always made a big point about this and including them as Auntie Tracy and Auntie Catherine when we are talking about our adoption journey.
In ensuring I involve them I wonder if I should be more sensitive also to their own situation. After further thought though I think it's slightly different. They have both seen me go through a lot, including divorce, 3 IVFs, numerous tests, and ultimately being unable have a birth child, so I suppose it's not quite the same.
I suppose it's like when we see fellow FF's on here get their BFP's, we are so thrilled for them as we know what they've gone through. It's just the insensitive people who make remarks like 'Ooooh I had 4 children before I was 28' (as mentioned earlier) that aren't appreciated  
Still....I will now remember this important point when getting carried away in coversation about our adoption to my 2 friends, as even though it's not quite the same thing, it may still spark a 'what if' feeling in them. x

sieve....Welcome  
I have written in a thread to you somewhere else, but I just wanted to say hello here too  
Good luck for your start of HS

Rachelclare....I'm so sorry that you didn't get a place on the July Prep Course after all  
 that you do get a reserve place. x

Hi to everyone else, I hope you're all well, I just didn't have time to do personals to all x

Luv Anj x x


----------



## sieve

Hi to all and many thanks to minmouse and anjelissa for your welcomes.  much appreciated.    will hopefully get to know you all better and read your posts, however i admit i am a bit of a ducker in and out!   anyway must update my signature, but so far had prep course and couple visits from Head sw and now 2 visits from our assigned sw and getting on well with our hs.  so .... so far so good!!  loving reading all the wonderful stories and feel so much more positive about this than IVF, prob because there is a much higher chance of success with adoption than ivf.  Maybee?   
however i really dont want to sound flippant, this has been a long hard thought out journey and we actually feel now, that this was our path we were meant to follow and that we were meant to adopt some amazing children who deserve much more than they have had up to now.  sorry hard not to enthuse about what is ahead.


----------



## odpchick

Hi too you all, 

Anj I'm good thanks back to work now so its all normal again  , hope you are ok and mega excited about next week will be thinking of you, 

Libby it is hard to hear of new babies and others getting pregnant, I know how it feels, when our TX didn't work I was so distraught at not being able to give my parents a grandchild, that it took me a while to tell them that it hadn't been successful, and that I was sorry, their answer was beautiful, along the lines of having us and being happy is all they wanted, and to stop beating myself up, but I truly believe that if you let it effect you too much it will make you poorly, you are on a new journey now, and one day pretty soon, you will have a little precious of your own I wish you all the luck in the world keep that smile that gets bigger and bigger every day big      .

Sieve, I am new here too so hello, the girls are lovely and have had a lot of info so far that has helped.

Lady in Pink, hope you are well and get your op date through real soon!!

Bee_Bee hope you enjoyed Pink sorry to hear that you didn't end the evening too well.

To everyone I have missed hope you are all well   

To Bogey and Suzie thanks for the chat the other night, yesterday after work I got to my phone and had a message from the duty social worker,she is ringing me back this morning so I am on tender hooks now will prob mess it all up  

Have a good day  

Emma


----------



## libby29

Well my beautiful little neice was born this morning. I actually dont feel that over whelming sadness that i thought i would. I've actually been quite jolly today and enjoyed telling folk i am an aunty again. Haven't met her yet but thats because she went home with mum 3 hrs after popping out  Going to visit on sunday which i would be looking forward to if it wasnt for the fact the WHOLE family will be coming with me arghh!! I will report back all the stupid things people are bound to say to me, but i think i'm ready for them (if thats possible). Well i'll have to get used to it because people aren't going to stop having babies just because i can't are they?! Mum Says she looks like me when i was a baby, bless!
Thankyou to all for your advise through this it means alot. I would do personals but i get soo confused and it takes me ages to keep flicking back through, but i do read how your all getting on. Love to you all xxxx


----------



## odpchick

Hi,
just a quick note, the SW phoned today had a lengthy conversation with her, and she feels that we can proceed to a home visit as soon as we want too.....oh my gosh.  
it was just the news I needed after the follow up today which went hideously....
Take care everyone 
xxxx


----------



## panorama

odpchick - excellent news about the social worker! Take your time tho if you're still not quite ready. Sorry to hear about the follow up     

Libby -    Glad to hear your niece arrived safe and sound and that you didn't even have to go to the hossie!    Think I reacted the same way when my niece was born last year. Yes the world doesn't stop having sprogs but hopefully one day we will have our own littlies to call us mum    Good luck for sunday!

Sieve - welcome and good luck! 

Anj - wow nearly there! Best of luck for panel, sounds like you have it in the bag     

Bee - hope you are feeling better    When do you start hs?

Right as others say too many people for full personals, gotta check how dinner is going!

love to everyone 

Alli xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anjelissa - good plans! Not long now! xxx

Sieve - glad things are moving ahead for you xxx

ODP - thinking of you  xxx

Libby - glad you found some happiness in your niece being born xxx

Alli - how are you getting on?  We should be starting in the next couple of weeks - I am kind of hoping it's around the week we take Cal, Row and Will camping as that might be good for them to see lol! xxx

How is everyone else doing?  We got out prep course evaluations back in the post today so another thing ticked off!  I had an interview for a job at work - fingers crossed I get it as it will certainly keep me busy during the whole process xxx


----------



## libby29

Went to meet my niece today and she is sooo beautiful! Went really well as only took mum and dad with me in the end so didnt have the whole family watching on. They've just decorated the whole house ready for bubs arrival and gave me the grand tour. When we got to bubs room i just couldnt be that brave. I politely said "do you mind if we dont do that room?" and they were fine with that thank god. I thought admiring someone elses nursery when i have spent so many yrs picturing mine could have been a lump in the throat moment. All went well though and had a lovely time and a lots of lovely cuddles with bub. When we were about to leave mum produced a present for SIL. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest because when she unwrapped it, it was the most beautiful patchwork blanket that mum had made for my baby when we first started ttc. She was so excited about us having a baby that she started making it straight away and showed me her progress ever time i saw her. When we started having trouble she put it away in a cupboard until we needed it. Well now its my nieces and i'm pretty gutted. Not because i dont want her to have it but i just thought my mum should have warned me. It was a make or break moment but i just think by now i should be used to my mum and her insensitive ways so just gulped it back. Dont want to make it sound like it was a negative day because it most certainly wasnt. Its just i'm a little hurt by mums actions. She said "you dont mind me giving them your blanket do you? its just she fell pregnant so quickly i didnt have time to make her one but i've got ages to make you another IF i need to" Another shocker well done mum! lol  Bubs is so lovely though and i miss her already  Going to see her again on friday with hubby and stepdaughters on our way to Butlins yay! So excited to be having a little break with them. We went in feb and they had a ball but we're keeping this one secret till that morning so they will flip out when we tell them lol.
Hope your all well
Fingers crossed for the job bee bee x
odpchick well done on getting started x
sieve great news that hs going well x
anjelissa good luck with panel and lots of hugs x
minmouse hows your bathroom coming along? x
Big hello's to Lady in pink and alli, hope your both well x
If i've missed you big hello's to you too xxxxx


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Libby -    your mum should have told you - but i'm sure she will make you another when your turn comes    

Bee Bee - good luck with the job!!

opd -    great news x x

Seive - IKWYM about feeling mush more positive about this journey   

Anj - i'm sure your friends will love being aunty    and i'm sure anyone who has gone through what we have would be senisitve to others feelings anyway    

2nd HS this week....


----------



## katie c

hi...back from the land of the scots! had a wicked time   

been lurking a bit as some of the B&Bs have had wii fii, but been a bit busy to post tbh...just posted on CC's approval thread, and as some stoooopids on the 'news' forum wound me up   

so i will start contributing again properly this week

not long until our home visit, i'm soooo nervous ^bites nails^ ^breaks teeth on acryllics^


----------



## Maccer

Hi All,

I am not going to do personals to everyone, sorry, I just wanted to say hi and I am still around just things going very slowly for me, we have our medicals booked for 16th and hopefully should be receiving our crb's back sometime soon.  Welcome to all the Newbies and Good luck Anjelissa, I am sure you will be fine.  

Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful weather.

Take care,
Mx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

HI all, Sorry I haven't been around things have been quite busy. We had our 1st home study visit on tuesday which went really well.
Very informal actually. Our next visit isn't until the 30th as we are going on holiday to Majorcia.    In about 10 hours time actually, so of to bed in a bit!!!!! 

Hope everyone is well, sorry for no personals but hope everyone is well. Speak again when we get back.

Mrs dibbles x x


----------



## nickym

Hi  

Can i join you ... weve only just started to discuss adoption properly after my 2nd failed op in the last 3 months.  

I honestly dont have a clue at where to start, who to contact etc.  I would greatly appreciate it if someone could point me in the right direction for initially getting started.

Thanks for reading

Nickymx


----------



## katie c

hi nicky   

you could either try your local authority (try their website, they should have a section on adoption services/childrens services) or another option is a voluntary organisation. if you look at the top of this forum there's a thread called 'starting out' by wynnster, and there's a link on there to find the ones in your area

i recommend two books called 'what to expect when you're adopting' by dr ian palmer and 'adopting a child' by jennifer lord which are mainly about the basics of the process rather than actually about raising adoptive children.   both are pretty cheap on amazon.


----------



## Arrows

I rang up the Agency this morning to see if there had been any cancellations over the last week and she said there'd been no new responses at all but the had till the 9th july to reply.
Then, she said that they were short staffed and she doesn't really have time to call everyone up so WE HAVE A PLACE ON THE COURSE!!!!!!!!! She said she knew how important this was to us and how much we wanted it!

YAY!!!!!!!


----------



## Anjelissa

Morning all 

Just a quick, mainly self indulgent 'me' post this morning I'm afraid 

Just a few personals from the last page.....

Thanks to all of you who have written good luck messages, you are all so sweet, and it means a lot 

Rachelclare......That's brilliant news!!! Congratulations! You'll be on the other side of your prep course and starting your HS before you know it!

nickym.........Welcome  
As others have mentioned, it's best to contact your LA first. I am with my LA and we have been (on the most part) very happy with how they have looked after us and conducted our assessment.
I have no experience of the private agencies, but I'm sure someone will be along soon who has, so you can hear from both angles.
I would also say read as many books as you can on adoption, attachment, and all the many varied subjects connected. Apart from helping to build your knowledge, this will also help you at the prep course and later on your homestudy. Lots of luck to you 

Mrs.Dibbles.....Have a wonderful holiday! you lucky thing!  

*WELL...........PANEL TOMORROW AT 3.30PM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!* 

It's quite surreal to be at this point!
I'll be very glad to be sitting having dinner in the restaurant with DH tomorrow night and reflecting back!!

I'll pop back on tomorrow to let you all know how it goes.

Luv Anj x x


----------



## katie c

Best of luck Anj... Not that'll you'll need it though I reckon they'll snatch your arm off  

RC - woo and indeed hoo! Great news


----------



## Anjelissa

Awww Katie, thanks   

I'll pop back in tomorrow with a very 'LOUD' post one way or another!! lol   

Luv Anj x x


----------



## sieve

Hi Just nipping in for a minute but had to say to Anj wishing you all the best of luck and loads of      for tomorrow but you are so not going to need it!   Can't wait to hear your good news.

Hi to all the other girls and hope your journey is going well. Going off now to type up some homework or should that be hs!   

sieve x


----------



## libby29

Goodluck Anj will be thinking of you tomorrow! xxxxxx


----------



## Banana Girl

Hello everyone, just thought I'd say Hi as I am new to the adoption boards.
I've put an entry binto the diaries section and my signature gives you full info should you want it!!

Currently at the stage of reading through information folder given to us at prep groups, and feeling by turns both elated and excited, and then terrified and overwhelmed!

Good luck to you Anj! Been reading your posts and it sounds like the mini break you have planned is a very good idea that I shall keep in my back pocket!

nickyM- I just googled "adoption" and spent an entire day online!
I found the numbers of a few agencies that dealt with our area, and our local authority and contacted them all. I found once I had picked up the phone and started the ball rolling I felt less bewildered.
A useful experience I had (in the limited time I have been in this process!) that I will pass on is...Each agency/authority has their own way of doing things and think some ways are gospel...if one says you are not right for them...keep looking at others. For instance, we are rebuilding our house and were told by one agency that "NO agency will consider even an application until the rebuilding is totally complete including decoration" - if I had listened to her I would have given up applying for a looong time, but actually the agency we are with has taken the view that adoption is a long process and they will get to know us as a family whilst waiting for the house to settle.

We did contact our local authority - if you have a helpful one then that's great- ours was very unhelpful and although we did not go with the private agency we met with, they gave us tips on which authorities to go for. I would say if an agency/authority doesn't think you sound right for them...ask them to suggest an authority that does.

Good luck

Libby I'm sorry about your Mum giving you that shock, your turn soon xx

Hello to everyone else and good luck with your journeys.

I am SO meant to be working so will go now (prob wont, will prob lurk on here for hours!)

B


----------



## eknowles

anje good luck tomorrow you will be fine and cant wait to read your happy post !!!!!!!!!!
em xxx


----------



## Lady In Pink

Anjelissa - I will be thinking of you tommorow. You will be fab !!! Take care XXX

Sorry all am still so busy with work, tommorow is quieter so will arrange to catch up with all your news tomorow. Its getting busy on here...... !

Take care all X


----------



## odpchick

Hi to all,
just wanted to wish Anj good luck for tomorrow will be thinking of you
take care
Emma
x


----------



## loopy75

Hi people            Sorry I have not been on for ages   Just been waiting on info meeting which took place during my holiday and then just been getting back into a routine.            Information evening went well I thinks   Couple who had a adopted a wee boy chatted to us which was nice and showed us a picture of there boy at his school disco dressed to impress which was lovely. Was all ready to tell my work mates when one of them told me she was pg. Well that absolutely knocked me for 6 as I was quite happy talking about what's happening but now feel as though that has totally changed things and I don't really want to talk about her pg as it's upsetting.   (Oh and then a friend announced she pg only found out last week and 13 wks gone, christ how would you not know)          I know at the end of this there will be a child out there to call our own but it's still really hard knowing that I will never be able to experience what she's going through and feel as though I need to be put through the ringer just to prove my worthiness of being a mum which I know is not true as they need to know all the ins and outs to protect child/us.        Sorry for the rant but most of you's will understand how i'm feeling.          Going to send paperwork back and try and read book "infertility & adoption" before the next step which I'm not sure when will be.          Hope you are all well and thanks for listening          Loopy


----------



## sweets x

just a quickie as am soo tired

Welcome nicky, the girls on here are lovely, also, feel free to message on ******** anytime you have questions x x

Loopy, hugs hunny, we do all know how you feel. Feeling a little low at moment as i should off been having my little one anyday now, but we'll get there eventually won't we x

And, anj, lots of luck for tomorrow, but sure you'll not need it, will be coming straight in to see how you got on from work tomorrow x x 

hi to everyone else

nicola x x


----------



## galaxy girl

Good luck for tomorrow Anj!

Loopy - know the feeling ... work for me today was big dscussions about baby names with pregnant colleage - am sad we will never have that opportunity to pick a name - but am still excited about being a family!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj and Mr Anj and enjoy your meal tonight xx

Rachel yeah yeah brillant news all go now.

Sorry just a quick post just wanted to wish Anj good luck. Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## panorama

Anj - good luck today!    Have fun celebrating later!   

Loopy -    I think we all know exactly how you feel. It's hard but hopefully one day when we have our little ones, the pain will be much less. 

Banana Girl - welcome and good luck with your adoption journey!   

Rachelclare - yay! Great news!

Libby - well done for seeing your niece, must have been hard with your mum, I had the same thing happen to me with her, they are sometimes unbelievable! But I think they just don't see it...   

Right better do some work so hello to everyone else. Getting very excited about my first meeting with my social worker friday week!    I even managed to track down my ex to get his email address, was a little bizarre really.... but he is fine about it so should not be a problem. Weird cos we haven't seen each other in 12 years!

Love Alli x


----------



## Pinky3

Anj - good luck for the panel x x x thinking of you!!!


----------



## eknowles

banana girl - welcome could i just ask what is forsight programme??
anj - how you got on celebrating no doubt 
hi everyone else sorry no personals just bobbing on quick
afm - well still not letter/ call from sw to say whether putting me on their books/ manager ok with us not sure whether to phone or will i sound like im harrasing her?? does anyone have any ideas how long this normally takes??
em xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Thanks for all your Good Luck messages earlier, you are all so sweet. 

We are now approved, so it's great news! 

It was quite a tough panel though, (and not the norm', so don't worry).
Our SW said that we were just very unlucky, and she was a bit annoyed about how some things were handled (as were we). It was just numerous points, issues that were raised and dragged on (that aren't issues at all) and certain ways that we were treated that shouldn't really have happened (and normally don't).

There were about 15 people in there (again, not the norm'), and we got quite a grilling.

I know I keep saying this, but I really want to assure you all that I know this is not normally the case. Most people go to panel and report that it was much better and easier than they expected.

We feel very strangely a bit 'deflated' this afternoon/evening, which is the very last emotion we expected to feel after being approved!

The main thing is though, we ARE approved, and moving on to the next exciting part of our adoption journey!
I'm sure this fact will hit us tomorrow when we wake up, and realise that's the main thing that matters!

Thank you all again for all your lovely messages,

Love Anj x x


----------



## katie c

yay! fantastic news! been looking out for this post all evening!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Congratulations to you both           Hope you are feeling a little bit better today, look forward to hearing about the next exciting part of your journey.


----------



## Arrows

That's fantastic news Anj -I'm not at all surprised you feel a bit deflated though -the last year has been really tough and leading up to this, then it was a grilling so now when it 'ok then' that's it. Sometimes it feels like the trumpets should sound!

I'm getting excited about the Info day now and have been talking to friends about being referees and my two best friends have refused. They're not refusing because they think we'd make bad parent or disagree with our decision -they fully support us- but because a friend of theirs was a referee and as the SW didn't like the man in the couple she was doing it for or the fact they were Christians and kept twisting everything she said to be very negative.
I'm pretty upset about it especially as we also know other people with good experiences which they're ignoring.

Anyhow, having spoken to a few other friends who know us and have also seen us and trust us with their kids, they are very happy to be referees for us. We need two work referees and 3 personal ones according to the info pack, so we have a choice now between:

1. close friends who for the last 4yrs have lived in Kenya, coming back every summer and now coming to live for 6mths next week -we're taking all 3 of their children away on holiday with us for 5 days. I lived with them and helped with their kids for 2.5yrs and their youngest is my Godson.

2. A workmate and friend who I've know for 3yrs but really started to know better for the last year. We often look after her 7yr old son for days and overnight too as she works two jobs.

3. A friend from Uni and her husband that live up North. Known her for 9yrs and her husband for 7yrs. We don't see them often but both have a great relationship with them -they have 4 children and they're the family we're going on holiday with, along with the 3 'borrowed' children.

4. My parents, Mum being an Adoption SW and Dad having run a youth camp for 10yrs -now retired.

5.DH's parents -see us with niece and nephew.

6. DH's brother -see us with niece and nephew but live in Germany. We see them 2/4times a year.

Realise this is probably way ahead of time but wanted to think about it.
What do people reckon? Who would you pick?
Rachel


----------



## Banana Girl

Well done Anj!  
Sorry you had to go through such a grilling though- did they give you any clue as to why your panel was not "the standard" ? If you are comfortable saying that is.

RachelClare- Is there a limit on how many of your referees can be relatives? In that case your decision may be made for you!
Isn't it odd how each authority has different reference requirements? We were only asked for 3, and no work ones - though I think that work ones may come later.

On that note- can I ask some advice? I am presuming that the SW's will want to talk to my employers. I am self-employed, but have someone who I work for every week on a pretty permanent basis, who has also offerred me pay when I am on adoption leave - even though as I'm SE he doesn't have to pay me anything. He also thinks Im a great worker and Mum, and I know will give me a glowing reference.  
Trouble is...he is in the public eye and is known for having controversial opinions. I am a little worried as to how the SW will react to a reference from him?  
There isn't really anyone else I work for on such a regular basis who knows my character, but I suppose being SE I can just say I have no employer. I'm nervous enough to say that I work for him, but I don't think that can be avoided as it's the main bulk of my working week. Also, you know, I don't disagree with many of actual opinions (some I do)- it's just the press twist stuff and make them out to be something they're not. He's actually a really lovely guy.

What do you think? See how they react to my working for him and take it from there? I would like to hope the SW is sensible enough to judge people on their character and not on pre-conceived ideas...but sometimes I read stuff that sounds like they don't 

eknowles- I'll Pm you about foresight x (If I remember- I might forget!)

Hello everyone anyway, and thanks for the welcomes x


----------



## odpchick

Hi
Just want to say Congratulations to Anj, hope today that you are feeling on top of the world.
Take care
Emma xxxxxx


----------



## panorama

Anj - well done!    Sorry you got such a grilling, must have been very stressful for you, but it's over now, hope you can find your LO soon now   

BG - I am self employed too but mostly work for myself, I shouldn't really think who you work for should make much difference really. 

Rachelclare - can't believe your best friends have refused    But sounds like the other referees should be fine. I think you need to make sure they can get to interview a few face to face so they can't live miles away. But you can have additional referees like your friend that lives abroad. 

eknowles - just send them an email or give them a call as they can be busy and sometimes forget to call, I don't think they normally mind. We have had to wait since last september just to get started so it can sometimes take a while, but I think they took about a month to let us know they would go forward with us following our initial interview.

Alli x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies

Ang - congratulations on being approved!!! it must have been hard to enjoy it after your grilling, but i hope your smiling now x x x

Anyone have any ideas what they ask your employer??


----------



## sieve

Hi Ang just wanted to say fantastic news!             so sorry you had such a hard time tho, you must have felt like shouting "hello - can you not see how committed we are and what great parents we will be!".  

But just remember this process is such a roller coaster and the downs can hit you when you least expect them!  but hey the ups make it all worth it.  you are prob drained at the moment.  let it all sink in slowly.

i will prob come to you all soon looking for a lift up, we are at the start of hs and seem to have a very on the ball sw which is great  but i might feel different a few months down the line!   

Hi to all you other ladies too and am sure many of us will speak soon.  xx


----------



## Lady In Pink

That's great news Anjelissa I am sooooo truly happy for you 

I am sorry to hear about the panel experience. I sounds like you have an amazing social worker though and she supported you when it didn't go quite to plan or what you expected. At least, like you say, it is not the norm.

Huge congrats, really looking forward to hearing about your next stage.........

Lots of love to you and your other 1/2.

LIP


----------



## Cars

Anjelissa, thats fantastic news, what a relief that you have been approved, someone said its like getting a BFP! Congrats to you and your DH, Delighted for you both!

       
Love Caroline


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I just wanted to send you a quick post to say thank you all so much for your wonderful messages   
You are all so lovely  

Myself and DH are still a bit frazzled, and we could have done with the day after panel off tbh! (or maybe a nice 'round the world 5 star cruise' to unwind after the past year!!!)  
Maybe I should suggest that being added in to the adoption assessment process!!!!!    
Shall I start a petition!!!!?  

We have now managed to put everything into perspective, and the realisation is starting to hit us that we are approved!!!   
I don't think it actually sunk in until today!   

It seems like you always presume that panel is a distant event in the future, and all of a sudden there you are!   

We are really excited about the next part of our adoption journey, and yes, I suppose in a way (as Cars said)...... I can say I have a BFP, lol...  
I never thought I'd be typing those words.
Mind you, when you actually write it out........'Big Fat Positive'.....it is still means the same when you get approved at panel, doesn't it!   

Thank you again, it was really lovely to read all your msgs,

Lots of love Anj x x x


----------



## katie c

Anjelissa said:


> Mind you, when you actually write them out........'Big Fat Positive'.....it is still means the same when you get approved at panel, doesn't it!


absolutely! 

or it could be a BFAP maybe...?


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps
Internet has been down for a few days, well kinda, i knocked the wire loose lol and only just noticed.

Anj- woo hoo on being approved, not that there was ever any doubt hun...sounds like you had a time off it though..roll on next stage for you x x

sieve- good luck with h/s

Bananagirl- hiya x

Hi to everyone esle and hope your all ok, enjoying the hot weather.

Well, its prep group monday, am excited but nervous about havin to speak out etc...and being separated from dh. Sure will be ok though, 
Also, got 1st aid course tuesday and weds o will prob have a well mashed brain come weds nite.

Take care 

nicola x x


----------



## Pinky3

Good luck for Monday Nicola x x you 'll be just fine!!


----------



## Anjelissa

Nicola......Lots of luck for Monday. You wont need it though, and it'll be a lot easier than you are imagining. After the initial introductions, everyone will very quickly be more comfortable with each other. Just remember that everyone there will be feeling the same way too.  
We made some great friends from our prep course, we hosted a BBQ and 4 of the couples attended, we've been for coffee with some of them, and have been round for dinner to one couple's house (another booked in Aug).
It's lovely, as when we are all placed with with our little ones we will be like friends from an 'ante-natal' group meeting up for coffee etc on our maternity leave and offering support etc..
It will also be great that our little ones will be around other children that have been adopted, and so will feel less 'different'.
You will obviously have a huge thing in common with everyone on your prep course, and it will fly by really quickly. 
You have nothing to worry about at all 

Lots of love Anj x x x


----------



## katie c

nicola...hope it's all going well today and you're not as shy and nervous as you think. i imagine everyone else will be feeling pretty similar 

well...SWs have been and gone! milestone one is over!

on the whole i think it went ok. they were really nice, turned up bang on time (so no coronation style catching me being embarrassing, nor keeping us waiting for hours.) they stayed nearly two hours which was a bit longer than they said. and they both had a cookie 

there were one or two dicey moments. when mr c mentioned his anxiety one went a bit quiet although the other said the training would help us realise when children were trying to press your buttons, which could trigger an anxious moment. but to be fair his anxiety is really work related not relationship

also when we were talking about united parenting, he talking us deciding together how to discipline, and he mentioned an example of say, using the naughty step. well you would have thought he'd talked about locking them in a dungeon with bread and water.  luckily the relationship swot (me) mentioned an alternative method (its called something like one minute discipline) and they were all smiles again 

i think they were impressed with our initial homework and the obvious research i've done, and liked the house...just mentioned we'd need to fence the back garden in which we would have anyway

they did say however that their boss is very very hot on the waiting 12 months after treatment thing. i guess they've had issues before. they went on to say there was a prep course in september and november, so i perked up and said would their boss be up for us going on the november one? as then it _would_ be 12 months. but they said they'd have to discuss it with her. i assume after that it would be january...which, hey, is only 5 months away now anyway. they said we should hear in two or three weeks

anyhow they left the CRB forms, said they'd probably send the medical forms too as their boss would be ok with getting that done and over with. and they left us with the advice to start 'borrowing' our friends kids to get the child care experience. so while i was too shy to ask 'well are you recommending us then?' it sounds like they're not unkeen...

one thing that did impress me was they said when it come to matching, if there was nothing within three months, they then refered adopters to the rest of the county, and then three months after that nationwide. so it sounds like they're keen to get you matched quite quickly if they can

so...that's me. now we wait!


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone


How are you all ? Sorry I haven't been on for ages but just to update you
- We have been allocated a social worker.
- We have started our home study which began 3 weeks ago.
- Been on a lovely 2 week holiday to Spain.
- Next home study is 22nd July 2010.
- Home study is going to last up to three hours each time   
- When she told us what is involved in the home study which I asked, she said we ask about this, this, this, this etc etc etc basically you are an open book.
- When I went to work the next day and told them all about the social worker visit, I felt so overwhelmed I just burst into tears.
- So next week I am going to ask the social worker if I could write down everything she wants to know and to put it into bite size chunks and plan it into our visits. So then I won't feel so overwhelmed.
- The home study is going to be for 10 sessions, one per fortnight. Hopefully the assessment will be completed by November 2010 and possibly to panel in December/January 2011.


- I have to gain more experience for 0-5 year olds. The issue about Moldova came up again - they wanting a police check from there which was back in 1995 when I went there for three months voluntary work. 


- We have put the plans into the council for an extension, just waiting for their decision. Spoke to some builders who want 30 grand to do 2 rooms above the garage = oh my god !!!!! We was hoping it to be 20 grand at the most. As we cannot afford to move to a bigger house. We need a loan anyway for the extension.    Does anyone know any good midland builders ?


- Also there are changes at work, my boss is wondering whether I could move from my workplace that I have been there for 6 years to transfer to another department/area. I have to have a discussion about my decision with her.
Its all happening at once, if the opportunity was there this time last year I would have jumped at the chance but now I don't know, think it may be all too much - going through the adoption process, the extension and potentially a new job   , don't know what to think.


Anyway, hope everyone is well. 


Sonia xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Anj, katie c and pinky- thanks for well wishes. Hope your all ok. 

Katie- glad h/v went well and good that you can get started on the CRB and medicals already, we have to wait till after prep group.

Sonia- good that you have started h/s, good luck with the next visit. Onlky you can decide whats too much to take on hunny x x 

Hi to everyone else, its quieter on here lately.

As for me, prep group was amazing. We watched a couple of vids, one from other adopters talking about the good off prep group. The other, the first few months of a babies life and it was mouth droppingly amazing. Cannot believe how vital the 1st few months are and how a baby that isn't given enough attention in early months can deteriate.
Then we had  ryans story, which nearly had us and the s/w in tears, thich i'm gonna have to grow another skin to get through all this. Then we did 4 case studies. I even read one of them out so was well proud of myself. Just thought if i'm being accessed on how i interact and i don't, they basically said they need people to be able to speak up for their children so i just went for it lol.
Really can't wait for next weeks session. Everyone was lovely and all as nervous at the begginning.

Been on day 1 of 1st aid course today so can now in theory resusitate (sp) a baby and dress wounds and put on a bandage. Day 2 is tomorrow.

Take care, gonna go as have waffled enough lol

take care 

nicola x x


----------



## Anjelissa

Nicola, Katie & Sonia......
I'm glad it's going well for all you guys, although you're all at different stages, it all sounds promising. 

We have a 'follow-up' visit (after panel) from our SW tomorrow.
Hopefully she will have heard back from the people who 'oversee' the panel's decision and that they have agreed with the decision. 
She advised us that it's very rare that they don't go with the panel's decision. We will feel better once we have the written confirmation though.

Hi to everyone else  I hope you're all well.

Luv Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone

Just wandering if someone can help I am having a major freak out at the moment.

Our info evening is on 18th Aug that isn't the freak out I am so excited about it. The freak out is. We live in a small 2 bed flat which has been up for sale for over 2 yrs now and just won't sell the estate agents don't even think its worth dropping the price as nothing in the flat line is moving round here anyway we can't really drop it any lower! When hubby spoke to the SW she said we would have to be settled in our family home does this mean we won't get past the info evening stage?? Would really appreciate some input as I am currently wandering if we would be wasting everyones time by even going to the info evening I don't want to mess anyone around I hate time wasters thats all.

Sorry haven't been a big poster on here only cause not a lot happening at the mo. Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## sieve

I just sent you a really long message whcih just got lost!!!!   anyway the bottom line was i was saying go for it as home study could tke 6 months and you could be moved by then.  you will not be wasting anyone's time.  and do you have a spare room at the moment?

dont be put off you go for it!!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks hun, I just feel the world is against us at the moment bit over dramatic LOL but sure everyone out there has felt the same at some point in time x


----------



## sieve

i had put in the message that i lost, that this is such a roller coaster and your emotions go all over the place!   im on a high at the mo but know i will hit a bump in the ride at some point!!   you just let off steam whenever you feel like it!!!  and get yourself on that course


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Ladies - anyone else experience what i'm calling the post HS blues?? i'm buzzing the day after HS and feeling really positive, but the day after that i seem to come crashing down  and feel as far away as i ever had from being a mummy


----------



## Lady In Pink

AAA - Just to say that once I phoned up about a very similar situation to yours and their response was that send in the form registering of interest and they will discuss further the plans for your move. The home study does include, obviously, looking at your house (safety ect), but they say as long as you are not moving miles away and leaving support networks and still have connections they are happy to start the process. If they see real potential in you (which they will) then they are more than happy to accommodate.

Dont worry about being a timewaster at all. Thats what the information evening are there for - to seek more info and advice. 

I went in November last year for my Information Evening and I found it helpful to go and get further info about the questions you are asking. 

Hope that helps

Best of luck XXX

PINKY - I am sorry you are feeling down today. I imagine,although I am not there yet, that all that build up of emotions all comes out on the hs day and then there is a "no mans land" kind of situation of waiting and waiting. I have felt this way for a while as it has been a gapfrom Info Evening and us sending off our form of interest in January next year. To keep me motivated I am writing a log, diary and "baby book" type thing that will be past onto our little one,one day.It picks me up sometimes. 

Take care of yourself 

LIP XXX


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hi all,

Sorry for being AWOL - I got the job which has had me tied up trying to get my head round it as LOTS of new stuff to learn as the whole department is changing which is cool! On top of that we've just been busy at home and with me still having attacks and doing adoption prep stuff well you can imagine!

We went to our second network meeting last night which was good - met some more friends! Mind you I had an attack that started at the end and it wasn't nice  bit embarrassed about that but not a lot  we could do!

Hope you're all ok xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Pinky I am sure it is normal hun the highs and lows of all of this process must hit just like the fertility ones. Massive hugs coming your way xx

Lady in Pink thank you thats really sweet the reason for the move is and has always been the move to a family home so hopefully they will be ok about that certainly won't be moving to far as I still want to be able to walk to work as I don't like driving and when I am part time will need to be close as don't want to waste precious mummy time gettin to and from work.  Your baby book sounds  lovely. Once we start I am going to do something similar thought about a family book with story's of everyone in it and lots of photos of things we do and places we go with our nieces and nephews.

Bee Congratulations on the new job well done you sure you will be ace at it. I have been bit worried about you hun really pleased to see you back, haven't forgotten tryin to meet you honestly it has been truely crazy in our world since we came back from Cornwall at this rate we will be back there next year and still won't have met you really sorry.

Its Friday whoop whoop have a lovely weekend xx


----------



## Fergux

Hey guys!


Can i join you...? have been lurking a bit... waiting for the right moment to say hello...

We've just been accepted by a LA and now we have a mound of forms to fill out...! 

I think i'm going to need some moral support, SW visits so far have been very detailed... felt like have bared all of soul - not sure what we'll cover in the next stage! 

Fergux
x


----------



## Arrows

Hi all
We've now been to the information day and it was great -not much new information but good to affirm all that we had been thinking.
We've rang to confirm we wish to proceed and expecting a call back next week to arrange an initial home visit, so yay!!


The next prep course is Oct/Nov time so hopefully we can get our CRB checks and the Initial visit done in time to go to that one.
Another ticker is in order I reckon!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Fergux welcome to the thread, everyone on here is at different stages so you are sure to get loads of help and support from everyone xx

Rachel excellent really pleased it all went well and fingers crossed you get on the next prep course 

Hope everyone is ok have a good weekend xx


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone

Hope you're all well, no time to read back but will do next week   . By the way I have changed my username (from Alli) as I felt I preferred a bit of a less personal name going forward.

Anyway had my first HS this morning, yay! We have loads of forms to fill in now to get all the checks done and we have our next session in September as SW away next month. But she is really confident we can do the assessment with an aim to go to panel in February and apparently there are lots of kids coming up in the next 6 months so she seemed quite confident that we may not have to wait too long after that! Very excited about it all, can't believe we could possibly become parents next year! Eek!!   

Hope you all have a nice weekend!

xx


----------



## libby29

Hello all  Just book marking at mo but will pop back when i get 5 mins. xxxxx


----------



## paula37

Hi everyone,

I haven't been on for a while but blimey everyone's got news, new starters, prep groups and approvals.....well done Anj.

Well we are at panel in 2 weeks.  Report is done and is being submitted tomorrow, i just can't believe how quick it has gone.  We are meeting another couple on Tuesday who have adopted and they are in our village which is fantastic.

Good luck to everyone on their journeys.

Paula


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Paula Good Luck for 2 wks time hun, great that you can meet another couple in the same boat x


----------



## Donkey

Hello

I've been lurking for a while and thought it was time to say hello.   

DH and I went on the initial info evening at the start of June and then had a visit for 2 social workers.  We attened the ITAC course last week and have an interview on the 29th, so fingers crossed that goes well.

I look forward to getting to know you all

love, donkey xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi Donkey welcome to the thread x


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - we will somehow make a way to meet up lol!  I know the feeling though - we don't seem to stop at the moment!  I think in some ways making the decision to adopt just frees up everything! xxx

Fergux - welcome to the thread!  xxx

Rachel - glad it all went well!  Tickers are fab aren't they! xxx

Panorama - excellent news! xxx

Paula - hope you had a fab time today!

Libby - good to see you 

Donkey - welcome to the thread and good luck with your interview!!

How is everyone else doing?  We're off camping with our 2 nieces and nephew in just 2 sleeps time!  It's weird preparing for a holiday WITH children but it will be good practise! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sounds like fun, won't be long until your planning your family holidays wow what a wicked thought xx


----------



## panorama

Morning everyone!

Bee - have a great time! Definitely great practice!   

AAA - hello   

Donkey - welcome and good luck for your meeting!

Paula - excellent news, hope panel goes well! 

Hello to everyone else!

Most forms filled in now, so getting them sent this week so my sw can start processing them before her hols. Borrowed 'An Adoption Diary' from her and read it in a night! Didn't realise the amount of sw visits after placement!! But was a good insight especially as to how the children react after being placed.

xxx


----------



## Cars

Hi All,

Bee-Have a fab weekend

Welcome to all the newbies xx

We have only two more visits from our SW and then we go to panel on the 4th November  

Its getting closer and closer to us getting approved and its just flown by, for all those who are just starting, it may seem a long way off but once you get started it will fly by!

Love to everyone xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Panorama - a fantastic book to read is The Primal Wound - it can be hard going but gives an amazing insight into the 'adopted mind'.  I'm also reading a book called 2o things adopted children wish their adoptive parents knew which is interesting!

Cars - blimey that's going quickly!!!

How is everyone else?  I shall be signing off for a week now! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Have a lovely time Bee look forward to hearing all about it when you get back xx

Hi to everyone hope your all ok xx


----------



## odpchick

Hi to everyone,
Hope all are well?
Its only quick as I am off shopping with DH in a mo for wedding suits!! oh joy....worse than any girl I tell thee.
Two weddings one weekend two ends of the country!!!  

Couple of personals... 
hope you have loads of fun camping Bee...
Anj how you getting on?? hope the stress of it all has settled down..
Cars good luck with the last two visits and the course it will be here before you know..
and Paula good luck for two weeks time!!  
hi to fergux and donkey  

We had news yesterday, the SW phoned they want to do a home visit a week on Wednesday, blimey they don't wait around.....its about a month all in since I first enquired.... I had a little   and felt a bit overwhelmed to be honest but feel more positive today...does anyone have any tips How long it will last what they will ask etc, is there anything we should sort out at home before they come.... anything would be appreciated. Big thanks in advance  

Right better go and get ready for the shopping trip..

Take care everyone and catch up soon

 and


----------



## Arrows

I understand odpchick.
We've got our first visit on 6th August because my DH had already booked the day off and the SW didn't want to do an evening so that day fit well.
It's exciting but scary definitely!


----------



## Fergux

Hi All,

Not much news from us, medicals next week and all the forms done now so postbox here i come!

opdchick & Rachelclare - good luck with your first visits, our first chats were pretty detailed, why you want to adopt, what do you expect, what ages of children would you consider, what was your childhood like, what about your health... list goes on. 

I had mugged up before hand by reading 'what to expect when you are adopting' and that really helped me.

have a great weekend all

Fergux
x


----------



## loopy75

Hi People    Just to let you know I'm being a lurker just now as nothing to report. Was told this at the intro meeting that it would be probably August what with holidays and stuff.    Hope everyone is well      luv Loopy x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, we are back from our hols in Majorcia now. it was soooo hot and lovely and relaxing. We have our second home visit on friday so need to get stuck into the homework now. nothing like leaving it too the last minute. i must be more organised next time. Looks like lots has been going on. Welcome to the thread  new people and congats to whoever was approved. I cant remember who it was,  must trawl back through the post and say congratulations properly. 

Love to all Mrs Dibbles xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

It was Anj, 

Congratulations Anj and Hubby             Lets hope a match comes your way very soon xx


----------



## Pink Lady 66

We are at the same sort of stage as you, we applied in Oct 09, done prep course in may and now on 3rd HS tomorrow 4th wont be til end of aug as SW on holiday, how is your HS going, have you any idea as to when you might go to Panel also what homework have you had to do.  Hope you had a lovely holiday me and dh are thinking about booking something soon.

Take Care

Lisa


----------



## katie c

hhhhmmmm...well we got a call from the SW today. so the good news is they've reviewed our file 

but they want to come and see us again   as her manager wants them to ask us a bit more about one part of our info (basically that mr c was off for a few days in december with stress and the gp diagnosed possible mild depression, and recommended CBT, which he's completed)

and the day i said was ok mr c can't do   so i'll have to call and reschedule, but i don't think they're free then until mid aug

i'm terrified they're coming to tell us no. would they do that though, or just write if they didn't want you? could it be a positive thing that they haven't just dismissed us out of hand and want to talk some more?

feel so judged already and we've only just started! can't believe how the different LA's attitudes differ before you get the green light to go on a prep course


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Thanks for all your messages of congratulations   
Sorry I haven't been here for a while, but we have just got back from Cornwall after having a short break, plus it's been a bit of a whirlwind lately as I have some exciting news!..............

One week after being approved, our SW came for a 'debriefing meeting' and brought amazing news!

.....................We have been linked with a 10 month old little boy!

We've met with his SW, and have seen a picture (he is totally beautiful and we are in love with him already!). In our minds, he is already our little boy! It's amazing how the bonding process starts before we even meet our little ones!
The incredible thing is that he looks just like DH!
We have our matching panel in August and hopefully introductions will start in Sept, with little man coming home with Mummy & Daddy mid Sept.   

It all still seems so surreal, and very nerve wracking, as we just don't want anything going wrong  

I hope everyone is well, and I'm going to read back through the thread as soon as I get a minute. As you can imagine, it's 'all steam ahead now'.

Catch you all soon, luv Anj x x


----------



## katie c

gosh, anj that's incredible   

hope the rest of the process goes without any problems


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Oh my god Anj thats amazing!!! How exciting for you all. Very best of luck with everything. Fingers crossesd. Keep us posted with your news.


----------



## Pinky3

wow Anj that is fantastic news, you both must be over the moon x x x 

Mrs D & Lady P - i'm about at the same stage as you guys, just waiting for 3rd HS visit    our SW is on holiday too    

Katie C - i'm sure they just want to hear the facts from you, please dont worry


----------



## sonia7

Anj - That is fantastic news. Fingers crossed all goes well.


Sonia xx


----------



## panorama

Anj -    Brilliant news! Sounds perfect! Hope it all goes well and you get to meet him soon   

Katie - hope they just need some more info - I think the fact they want to talk to you again is positive, they probably missed a few things last time, must be hard for you though   

Mrs Dibbles - glad you had a nice holiday! 

Bee  -thx for the book recommendations, will try and get a hold of them.   

Hello to everyone else!

Sent all the forms off to social worker so she can start processing them before she goes on hols. Quite busy the next few weeks with work so I'm sure september will be here soon, can't wait! We've just had our kitchen remodelled and it looks great, just doing finishing touches now, one thing less to do! 

panorama xx


----------



## Cars

Anj- Congratulations, thats fantastic!!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj that is wonderful news went cold and had a tear in my eye when i read your post how amazing. Congratulations to you both and may the next few weeks all go smoothly and a little Mr Anj will be in his lovely new home very soon. So pleased for you both   

Hope everyone else is ok x


----------



## galaxy girl

Anj!!!! fantastic news -!!!!!!


----------



## sonia7

Hi Everyone


Hope you are all well.


Went to see my boss today for a meeting regarding my job as she is having a re-organisation of the workplace, some people have been moved to work in different areas so to gain skills as part of their professional development (as she put it) especially for junior staff. Anyway she says I can stay where I am. We discussed my adoption process as we both confirmed it was good for me and the service if I stayed in my area as I don't know when I will be leaving. Relieved or what, I did not fancy going through the adoption process AND going through having an extension done AND having a new job at the same time. Anyway all sorted now.


Hope everyone is okay


Sonia xx


----------



## Donkey

Congratulations Anj, fantatsic news!   

We have our post ITAC interview tomorrow...I'm a bit nervous.  Then they will phone on Friday to say if we have got onto the second course (APT) in september.  Are the course titles / acronyms the same for each LA?     

I hope you're all well

Love, donkey


----------



## paula37

Hi Everyone, hope you all keeping well.


Oh my god Anj that is fantastic news......am keeping everything crossed for you.  It gives us all hope.

We are at pannel on Monday so fingers crossed everyone for us.

xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Good Luck Paula for Monday looking forward to hearing some more excellent news on here soon x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps
Sorry have been awol for ages!!!
Been proper busy and have had loads of homework for prep course.

Anj- woo hoo, congratulations hunny, really lovely news x x

Paula- good luck for monday, sure you'll not need it x

Sonia- glad alls ok with work, one less thing to worry about 

Katie- hope all goes well at home visit, sure you'll be ok hun..thinking off ya x 

Lady pink- how'd h/s go 

Beebee- hi x

Odpchick and racheal- good luck with 1st home visits

Hi to everyone else, sorry not done personals for everyone, ching up.

We have last prep course on monday, past 4 wks have gone sooo fast.
Hope we don't have to wait too long to get assigned a social worker. Those of you at this stage, how long did you wait from prep group to starting home visits

Take care 

nic

P.s. am also changing my user name so you'll know its me from the teddy lol


----------



## Donkey

Well we've just had our interview...  I'm feeling a bit flat...

They seemed to focus on dh's lack of experience and he is going to be the primary carer and also that we were happy with an older child even though we had tried hard for a baby with 5 IVFs and small gap between end of ivf and adoption even thought they fast tracked us onto a course.

Anypne else experience anything similar?

donkey xxx


----------



## Pinky3

Donkey    sometimes i feel really flat the day after a HS visit - i'm sure they just wanted to understand your reasons etc


----------



## katie c

Donkey said:


> They seemed to focus on dh's lack of experience and he is going to be the primary carer and also that we were happy with an older child even though we had tried hard for a baby with 5 IVFs and small gap between end of ivf and adoption even thought they fast tracked us onto a course.


reasonably similar

lack of child care experience - check! although they said we had plenty of time to gain this by caring for our friends children so that didn't seem an issue

older child - yup! although i have never really been a 'baby' person and prefer children as it happens, and just saw the IVF = baby = child at some point.  and they seemed ok with this

time between IVF and adoption - oh _yes!_ and it's been eight months for us 

i think they just have to be really thorough though. well i hope so, as we're getting a second visit. 

i think the waiting after treatment thing is two fold...that they want to make sure you've grieved, as well as them not wanting people to commence adoption and then four months in saying 'y'know what, we might just one more go...' so while i can understand them saying that, it's a bit tight them doing so, after previously said you could go on a course 

how have they left it then?


----------



## katie c

oh and we did mention we were considering mr c having the adoption leave, and they seemed cool with it with us

in fact they mentioned some children do graviate to males, as they may have had poor treatment at the hand of a female parent (and in fact may initially reject the female adoptive parent.)   so it's far from inappropriate for a man to be the primary carer in our SWs opinion


----------



## Pinky3

Hey - we are considering who would stay home too (more for financial reasons) but i really want to stay home for a few months a least


----------



## Arrows

Wow, all go on here!
Katie, I reckon you'll be fine like the others said it just to check.
Anj, that's amazing news and so quickly!!!!

AFM, I've just gotten back from a 5day camping trip with friends. We took a friends children with us -5,7 and 11- and it was hard work but I loved it!
Now have very sore throat and pretty certain it's tonsillitis but I guess we'll see!

We've got our Initial visit booked in for the 6th August so hopefully I'll be feeling better by then.


----------



## Donkey

Thanks Pinky and Katie   

We shall hear today what they decide...  dh is far more positive than me so I   he's right.

Pinky dh is going to be the primary carer for financial reasons too.  He was made redundant March 2009 ad has been doing bits ond bobs but not a career.  He has just got a place to start teacher training in January (which he will defer if necessary) but it makes sense for me to work.  Luckily I am an asst headteacher so I have the school holidays becasue I too want time with the child.

Rachel fingers crossed for your visit.

xxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Its all go on here isn't it. We had our second homestudy today. SW got lost on the way so DH had to go and find them and then drive in convoy to our house. V funny and certainly broke the ice! SW stayed for about 2 hours today. I think its because myself and DH don't ever shut up!!!!    I must say, although it is hard work we are both finding the whole experience quite enjoyable actually. Going out for a well deserved drink with friends tonight though!

Hope all are well. Mrs D xxx


----------



## Donkey

Mrs D glad the HS went well.

We had the call and it's good news we have been put forward for the next course!!

Have a good weekend everyone

Donkey xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Excellent Donkey sounds to me like they do these things to test everyone note to self be pre warned! Really pleased for you enjoy your weekend x


----------



## Donkey

Thanks AanA
xxxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya

Donkey- Glad your on the next course, is very tense when waiting to hear stuff isn't it? Do you know when the course is?

Mrs Dibbles- glad h/s went well, have you got dates for your next one??
What aspects did they cover today??

Racheal- roll on 6th aug for ya 

Hi to everyone else.
Am a little bit anxcious, endometriosis is playing up, at doc's in morning and worried it'll effect our adoption procedures. They know i have it but its quite bad at times, last nite if i'd of had a child i wouldn't off been able to look after them as i couldn't hardly walk. Am getting quite stressed about this now!!?!!

Take care 

sweets x x


----------



## Arrows

Hope you're feeling better soon sweets!

I'm currently bored at home suffering with tonsillitis -am being a wuss but DH looking after me well.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hope you are both feeling better soon x


----------



## sweets x

Racheal- bless ya, tonsilitus is not bnice, hope you feel better soon
Always- thankyou x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Morning everyone hope you are all ok.

I am having a silly excited time at the moment 2 and a half weeks until our info evening and that ball    will hopefully start rolling yeah yeah yeah. We can't wait!


----------



## Donkey

Rachel hope you feel better soon   

Sweets, yes the course is the 15th and 22nd September.  I then have surgery booked for 23rd september.    I too am a bit worried for the same reasons as you.  I have to have 2 LARGE dermoid cysts out (the ones with teeth, nails, hair etc).  The nhs have actually sent me a date very quickly as they are worried they will rupture but I'm worried it will delay the process.

I too have terrible endo which means that at times I can't walk.  Put it this way last summer I had 3 days of excruiating 'period pain' which was in fact my appendix that ruptured and I had peritonitis.  it wasn't til I went blue and couldn't breath prperly that I went to the gp as a realised it wasn't period pain!!!!      However they know many of us have gynae issues which is why we're adopting.



Always that course will be here before you know it!


Happy Sunday everyone xxxxxxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hellooo!! Will do a proper catch up on the thread when I've got a bit more time!  We survived camping but I do have a fractured collarbone!  Hope you're all ok xxx


----------



## eknowles

hi all 
been awol for a bit but trying to catch up on everyones news. 
bee - glad you had a great time but oh no for collarbone hope you bearing up what happened?? 
hi everyone else sorry no personals will catch up properly soon 
afm - we got a letter on friday saying social services will accept us and if we would like to go on the prep course 22 - 23 sept.. so excited now it just feels so right.  a social worker is going to arrange to visit prior and complete crb and formal applicaton form, not really sure what to expect from this visit or prep but cant wait 
em xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Bee- ouch at the collarbone, hope your ok hun x

Em- good that your excited, sept will be here before you know it.

Donkey- bless ya hun, i had dermoids at my 1st op, they are nasty little suckers. 
Hope the op don't effect you hun, have you mentioned it to LA yet??
Roll on sept for your prep course too x x

Racheal- hope your feeling better today x

Hi to everyone else

Well, prep group finished today, was a little sad to be honest. We have all exchanged numbers, e-mails, we have all gelled brilliantly and are going to stay in touch. 

Got the official form to apply to adopt, again lol so will be sending that off and waiting for the call to be assigned social worker.
So excited  lol

Take care x x x


----------



## Pinky3

Em - great news about the course - not too long to wait    

Sweets - hope you get your SW soon


----------



## sweets x

thanks pinky- hope your ok x


----------



## Pinky3

Hi - yes i'm good thanks - we are meeting up with a couple from our prep cousre on saturday, cant wait x x


----------



## sweets x

have fun hun, will be nice to catch up and chat won't it x


----------



## odpchick

Hi to all hope you are all well it seems there is a lot of exciting news going on for alot of you so good luck  

Sorry no personal's in the middle of sorting the house out as the SW is arriving in 24hrs, excited but nervous at the same time.... she seemed jolly enough on the telephone lets hope she is when she gets here!!

I kind of think that this is just a form filling appointment, maybe I am wrong but the duty SW was a little vague so we are kind of entering the unknown, anyway take care to you all and will try and catch up properly soon.

Bye for now
xxxx


----------



## Arrows

Hi all 
I'm feeling much better thanks. 
Sort of looking forward to and also totally dreading SW visit on Friday -I just hope they like us! I keep worrying that all they'll see is our faults and how totally opposite to each other we are -I keep magnifying our faults in my head and expect them to too! I hope that that doesn't happen and afterwards I'm sure I'll breathe a sigh of relief and laugh at myself for worrying so much but in the meantime... Bet I totally embarrass myself -every time I get really nervous I need to pee - sheesh, she's gonna think I have a problem!!!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Em - yay!  Sounds like it's all moving in the right direction!  As for my shoulder, it's time I did some growing up haha!!  It was the work annual bbq and they had a bouncy castle- need I say anymore? xxx

Sweets!  So glad you enjoyed the course! Must be the day for application forms arriving as ours arrived today!  xxx

Pinky - hope the meeting goes well xxx

ODP - good luck with the IHV - from what I remember it's more 20 questions than form filling!  Have fun xxx

Rachel - bless you! I think most couples are opposites chick and they will not be looking at this!  I know it's scary waiting but you will wonder what you were worrying about when it is all over!

How is everyone else doing?  I am wondering whether to make myself a padded suit out of a duvet or something - not only do I have a fractured collarbone, but I dropped a massive canvas frame on my foot today from a fair height and it's swollen and black! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bee hun suggest you steal some bubble wrap from work and make yourself a protective outfit what are you like!?!?!  Do you work Saturdays?

Rachel Good Luck Friday reading your posts with interest as you are a little way ahead of us and getting hints and tips as you go on. Hope you don't have to dash to the loo to often LOL xx

ODP Good Luck with the visit tomorrow xx

Hope everyone else is ok xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - plan with jam!  Tomorrow morning I shall make a bubble suit tee hee!!  I don't work weekends at the moment, but I will be working some soon as my role is changing slightly!  How are you feeling chick ? xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Ok was just thinking if we every pop into town on a Saturday I could let you know, will defo be about on the saturday nearest to 24 Sept as my phone contract runs out then and i can't wait to get a new one LOL.  Good luck with the suit tomorrow would love to see a photo LOL I kinda have an image of Ghostbuster in my head!!! When is your hospital apt can't be long now??


----------



## ❣Audrey

Lol I am so tempted to bubblewrap myself now! That sounds like a definite plan for September chick!  You'll have to let me know the date!  Hospital is early september - I think it's the 6th but I keep getting confused as I am off to see Muse in london that week too!  Not long to go and at the moment it is 3 weeks tomorrow since my last attack and I didn't have any immunosuppressants afterwards so that is pretty good going, although I have suffered a lot of swelling in my limbs but that is normal and half down to me being such a klutz!!  How long till your info evening?  Are you excited?  xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Its a couple of weeks yet! stupidly excited just about sums me up. When we go shopping now I look at kids stuff and think it won't be long    Don't you go getting the dates wrong will you hun, don't want you going to the hospital on the day of your concert and vise versa LOL LOL LOL


----------



## MrsKLC

Hi Girls

Not been on for ages, we have our last Home study tomorrow, the SW and her boss are both coming to finalise everything off ready for our panel date of 4th October, if i can help  anybody with anything please feel free to ask

Good luck to you all on your adoption journey

Karen xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

wow good luck hun. Thanks might well take you up on the offer of help when I eventually get started its really sweet of you x


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - no chance of that happening, I would never miss a Muse gig lol!!!  Aw it's good that you're getting excited - it is nice to be able to look at stuff and feel excited rather than down! xxx

Karen - good luck with your final HV! xxx


----------



## paula37

Hi all well........WE ARE APPROVED!!!! We are absolutely over the moon and have done a lot of crying.....roll on our son or daughter (can't believe i'm saying that).

xxx


----------



## sonia7

Paula - Congratulations       Fantastic news


Sonia xx


----------



## sweets x

Paula- Huge congrats hunny, bring on the next step for you and mr paula x x x

Karen- good luck with final home visit 

hope everyone else is ok 

Send our form off to apply to be assessed, just wait for the call now


----------



## Donkey

Congratulations Paula       
xxxx


----------



## popsi

congrats Paula...its  a wonderful feeling xxx

everyone is moving along nicely in here now which is fab to see... i will all be worth i when your little one(s) are snuggled in bed xx


----------



## Pinky3

Congratulations Paula


----------



## eknowles

congratulations paula well done     
emm xxx


----------



## Arrows

Bee bee how'd it go today?? Thinking of you!

Paula -totally thrilled for you!




Have changed my name today for future from Rachelclare8.

AFM, I'm obviously really clever at the moment as slipped and fell down the stairs yesterday. Thankfully no broken bones  but a cut and badly bruised elbow and seriously bruised and painful backside! Seriously a bruise bigger than the size of my palm on it- having to sit on cushions and look and feel like a totally wally! 
My house is therefore going to be a hell of a lot messier than I'd planned for Friday but hopefully the SW will understand. It's going to be hard enough trying to get packed to go camping -something I'm NOT looking forward to at the moment with a sore backside and 3.5hr car drive!
C'est la vie!


----------



## minmouse

Evening All,  Ive been offline for a few wks but Im still a'lurkin!  

Brilliantly fab new from ANj & to be matched so soon - AMAZING, lets hear more 

And congrats to Paula too.

Howdy to newcomers & everyone that remembers me - Ill be back when I hav anythign to share, but in the meantime Im lurking on all the good news - it keeps us all going, so keep it coming.
min
x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Congratulations to you both Paula fantastic news xx

Arrows hope the bruises hell soon a real accident prone lot on here. Take care xx

Bee how did the bubble wrap suit go hun??

Have a good day everyonexx


----------



## odpchick

Great news Paula congratulations xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I hope to have go at personals tomorrow, but I just wanted to say....

Huge Congratulations Paula!!  

I hope you don't have too long a wait to be linked with your little one/s. 

Love Anj x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Congratulations Paula!!!

Rachel - poor you! Hope you're feeling better! xxx

AAA - bubble wrap suit was an epic fail.  Was admitted to hospital last night, managed to blag my way out just after midnight but meds didn't work so my legs have swollen again and I am now contemplating goiing back, but being really awkward as I don't want to stay in!

How is everyone else doing? xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Now Mrs Bee will you do as you are told and behave you need to be well hun LOL only messing hope you get sorted!?!?!!?


----------



## ❣Audrey

Sorry Mrs AAA  - I think I may have to write lines - I stayed home and rested - I feel bad for Jake having to sit up waiting around!  Anyway I promise that if I am not well tomorrow I will be going back and be sensible! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Good pleased you have listened LOL I might let you off the lines today as its FRIDAY yeah yeah yeah x


----------



## Camly

many congrats to paula on being approved    heres hoping ur wait is a short 1. xxx

hi to all you ladies xxx

have a nce weekend xxx


----------



## Belliboo

hi everyone sorry I've been awol for a while, been busy with our puppy & trying to foregt about things whilst waiting to hear from latest asw alloaction meeting which wasnt good news  .
so Just a quickie to let you know we are still waiting to be allocated a sw next allocation meeting is not til november so bit







, letter says due to staffing shortages & number of people waiting to be assessed but personally I feel that is not good enough they should replace staff if they are calling out for potential adoptive parents think I'm going to write to them & maybe look at other agencies but DP is not up for it as we have to start at the beginning again & do prep groups again if we move to another agency, which all takes time. why is it so hard to become a mummy!!!

Just wondered has anyone gone with VA rather than local LA & can you recommend any, we are looking for sibling group of 2 under 5 years

hi to all everyone whos recently joined us too

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## Pinky3

Rachel - i can understand your furstration - we waited three months to get allocated a sw (i see you've waited that long already   ) our LA has a problem with staff off on long therm sick.  I think LA should make adoption a priority - just think how much foster care costs!!!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Rachel - I am so sorry to hear that you are having to wait this long  massive massive huggles.

xxx


----------



## Princess Monica

Hi rachel,

Sorry you are having a loong wait.  We started with a LA in Jan 08 and by the end of 08 hadn't got anywhere due to staffing and budget problems.  We contacted a VA in Feb this year, started the prep courses and homestudy in April and we have our panel date for October!  Our VA has been excellent, their service and preperation is second to none, we really can not sing their praises enough.  We are also looking for a sibling group under the age of 5 and our VA said they see no problem with this  We have met 6 couples who have adopted through out VA all were approved, matched and had their children home with them in less than 1 year.  1 couple adopted a 1 year and 2 year old within 3 months of approval.  

Hope that helps.

Love Princess Monica


----------



## Anjelissa

Morning all 

Arrows.....Sorry to hear about your fall  I hope it's eased up a lot so that you've been able to enjoy your camping. 
I slipped up at work earlier in the year (everyone said I looked like a break dancer/gymnast as I managed to cover a fair distance and take off into the air!) I also had a huge black bruise the size of my palm on my bum! I took photos as it was so spectacular (although strategic ones, that didn't display my butt!!  ) 
I hope you're feeling much better.

Bee.....How are you now?
Hopefully you're healing nicely too.  
Are you in that padded suit yet? 

Rachel....I'm sorry to hear you're still waiting to be allocated a SW. We've been told there's a real shortage of Adopters and FC's atm so it doesn't make sense does it  
I would definitely write a letter. We had a few hold ups, not for the same reasons as you, but where letters went missing etc, as did our fellow prep course members, and things only got 'moving' again when we contacted them or wrote in. Another example was the wait for our CRB's, it seemed it was those of us who wrote in to the CRB people or called etc that managed to finally receive them. Some of my Prep group members have had their panel date delayed due to various things not being received/chased up etc. It definitely seems to help things along by being 'politely but firmly' proactive.
Due to letters going 'missing' etc, we would have probably had to wait a few more months for our prep course had we not chased things up. 
I hope things speed up for you soon 

No 'new' news our end. We have our all important matching panel in 10 days, we then start introductions about a week and a half later, with the plan for little man to come home with Mummy and Daddy around the 2nd week in Sept.
The nursery is all done and most things have been bought/prepared, there's just one thing missing now!
I keep finding myself in his room, it's hard to imagine that in a month's time our beautiful Son will be home with us! 

I hope everyone is well. Catch you all soon,

Luv Anj x x


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone   

Anj - so exciting! September will be magical for you    

Princess Monica - not long for panel now!

Bee - love reading your diary, sounds like you had a great camping trip! And well done on being allocated a sw!

Rachel - it is very frustrating having to wait, we had to wait 9 months to be allocated our SW and it was a bit like torture! You have to have so much patience in this game, but the wait will all be worth it. We could have actually started with a VA last october and at times I thought we should have done that but we chose to wait with the LA as we felt it gave us more options in terms of the children and we weren't too sure if we would go for the sibling group. But its all about personal choice, hard as it is! Now we feel the wait was worth it as we are comfortable with our SW and our LA has a great reputation, plus they say they have lots of kids going through the system at the moment   

Paula - congrats!!!!    

Hi to everyone else, need to get back to doing some work!    Our social worker is being very efficient and has sent out all the forms before going on holiday to referees etc, need to get the medical sorted on our end! Have already done my homework for the next meeting in a month, how swotty am I?    

Love to all,

panorama xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aw Anj how lovely soon that nursery will all be complete and little man will be all snuggled up with his new mummy and daddy what a lucky lad


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anj - how lovely that you've been out shopping and are almost ready!  I have to admit my padded suit is still at the tailors!  ! xxx

Panorama - how are you?  Glad you like my diary lol I need to update it more often but sometimes time gets away from you xxx

AAA - how are you chick - not long now!!

Well we are off to our VA tomorrow to meet with the social worker!  Can't wait!  Hopefully we will have a nice one!

xxx


----------



## Arrows

yes, feeling much better Anjelissa!

Well, on Friday morning we had our visit from the SW who seemed nice if a little frazzled and serious -she did eat some of my homemade marshmallow crispie cake though so that made me feel better! She asked a lot of questions and ended with saying she had no issues with putting us forward for the next stage i.e. CRB, medical and Prep course and got us to sign a form there and then to give permission to send us CRB forms to fill in. I'm expecting the forms this week, then have to drive through to Newbury to take all our documents asap. Unfortunately she has warned us that the next prep course in Sep/Oct is full so not likely to start ours till Feb/Mar which is a bit disappointing but they said a similar thing about the Info Day and we managed to get onto that so not too worried. I'm hoping that if the prep course isn't till next year that they start the home study but will see what they say.


----------



## ❣Audrey

Arrows - glad the visit went well chick!  Liking the sound of the cake!!!  I'm not sure if anyone else has had any different but I know that through our VA and our LA they wont start home study until you have attended a Prep Course as the Prep Course really does cement for you if this is the right road for you xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows brillant heres hoping someone pulls out and you can get on the sept/oct course.    

Bee Good Luck tomorrow looking forward to hearing all about it.


----------



## panorama

Bee - I'm good thx, really busy with work this month which is making the month fly by which is nice!    Hope it goes well tomorrow!!

Arrows - marshmallow crispies sound    If you're close to Newbury then you're not too far from me    We're actually starting our HS before prep courses which are in October, our LA definitely works different to most!

xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Panorama - that's good then!  Isn't it strange how differently they all work! 

I'm in a major reminiscing mood tonight and have embarrassed half my friends on ******** by posting ollllld pictures haha!!  14 years tomorrow since J and I first met!

xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Good Luck today with your social worker and Congratulations tomorrow. Must be something in the air loads of people keep producing very dodgy photos of us at the mo I only asked if anyone had a recent nice one of us LOL.


----------



## Belliboo

paula congratulations on getting the big approval

angelissa didnt realise you had a match wow thats exciting enjoy your shopping getting ready for your son

beebee old photies are funny to look at arent they, enjoy metting your sw tomorrow

arrows well done on getting overfirst hurdle hun, hope you can get on prep groups sooner

panorama sounds like you;ve been busy hope ur hardwork impresses your sw

princess monica thanks for sharing your story , fills me with some hope 

well I have contacted a VA on monday who are hopeful we can transfer over to them without starting whole process again I've posted our forms off today so fingers crossed they can work with us quicker than our LA


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Racheal- that will be very good hun, hope you can transfer over 

BeeBee- hope s/w meeting went great

Arrows- hope you get on prep course sooner 

Anj- roll on sept hun, so sweet to hear how your getting on, makes it more real that it'll be our turn soon x x 

Panorama- gosh 9 months waiting for s/w, what did you do to fill time.

Always- hope your ok

Hope everyone else i have missed is doing ok.

Feels like ages since prep group finished, even though only just over a week lol
Am forever checking phone to see if LA have phoned, they did say to ring them if not heard anything in 3 wks and has only been week and a half, feels like i'm going crazy already, sounds really stupid but i'm still scared they are going to turn us down so just wanna get started.
What do you guys do to pass time, am reading adoption books. Can't go out much as drastically trying to save money for when we do get to panel, (has anyone else's s/w told you that they'd prefer you to have  some pennies (2k) for when you get to panel) so jollies are out of the question. Thought that it would be less stressful than ivf but now prep group is over feel all the worries building up again.

Sorry for waffling

sweets x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sweets bless you, sorry I can't help as haven't started our journey yet sure someone else will be able to answer your questions x


----------



## sweets x

thanks always, feel awful for having a moan now x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Think its fairly normal from what I have read hun, this road we are on sure is a bumpy one its only normal to have highs and lows just look forward to your next high. Hope you hear some good news soonx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Rachel - that is good news!!

Sweets - honestly right now is a nightmare for social workers.  We finished our prep course at the start of June.  Today we handed in an official application and met with a social worker to make sure all checks and paperwork was in order.  I thought we would meet our social worker but no others were in ( and I am glad the one that dealt with us hasn't been assigned to us lol - she was lovely but a bit dotty!).  They did warn us that summer holidays are basically a no fly zone as everyone is on holiday.  I know some people have waited 3 months before being assigned  a social worker.  I hope you hear something soon xxx

AAA - how are you chick? xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bee I am ok getting there my head and neck are still a bit painful by the end of the day I just wanna get my head on a pillow it feels like my neck can't support it; will teach me for doing silly stuff!

Have a good day yeah its Thursday 6 more sleeps hee hee


----------



## panorama

AAA - is it your initial interview in 6 days?    Hope your neck gets better soon   

Bee - yes August is holiday time, our SW is off this month too. Happy anniversary!     Hope you can do something nice!

Sweets - hope you hear something soon, I bet its cos of holidays too so hang in there. Hmmm the 9 months were a bit like torture and I had been hoping they would have allocated us a SW beginning of the year so was quite disappointed when they didn't. Just kept busy with work really, and we decided to get our kitchen done which now looks great, plus carried on helping in Rainbows etc. You just have to keep your mind busy!   

Rachel - that's good news, hope things get moving quickly!

Had a really fun time with my friend and her two kids yesterday, went to a local park for the day. She is one of our referees and is really excited for us!    They came back to mine after and I think she was very impressed when I whipped out the colouring books and made the kids dinner!     I'd also made some sandwiches for the park and brought some other goodies and instead of going to her the kids kept coming to me to ask for food!    

My sister who is the other referee called me yesterday and said she had done a boo boo, had filled in her reference and then on the way to the post office lost it!!!!!    So I now need to get SW to send her another form! Dufus!!!   

Right off for some brekkie!

xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Sweets......I sympathise with how you are feeling right now as we felt the same, ie/checking phone & for post etc!
After what seemed like an age (but was probably only abt a month) we were allocated one SW, then heard nothing for ages, we called to chase things up and eventually the MGR above the SW's in our area called back. She was extremely apologetic and explained that the SW we had been assigned had too great a work load and couldn't take us on after all. We were then advised that we we would get a call in a few more days with the name of our new SW.
In the end we were assigned our lovely SW who is actually one level above the SW's who normally do the HS's as she was helping to ease the work load a bit. She is absolutely lovely and we are so lucky to have her! (we would happily wait the 2 months again if we knew she would be our SW at the end of it.) 
All in all we waited about 2 months from Prep Course to HS.
I just wanted to tell you (as AAA very wisely said) yes this road is a very bumpy one, and we will all have our highs and lows in different places, but there IS a rainbow at the end of this road, instead of a pot of gold there is something much much better and so very worth all the bumps along the way. Hang in there, and hopefully very soon you'll get that all important call that you have been allocated a SW. 

Love Anj x


----------



## galaxy girl

Anj - you have made me feel better too as 2 weeks ago we were assigned a SW, then informed she couldn't take our case on as workload too heavy (same as you!) we still haven't heard who will now! be the one..... but hopefully it will be a great one.!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Morning everyone hope you are all ok and have a lovely weekend.

Anj you must be getting so excited now not long x

Panorama, it is our info evening we have been waiting the wait for the 6 mths to pass since our last ivf we decided we would do the info evening nearer the end of the 6 mths so we could hopefully just keep the ball rolling we are 5 mths down the road now but just really can't wait to get things movingx


----------



## Fergux

Hi everyone
sorry been AWOL, crazy busy at the moment.

we have been told we have our prep course in October, so looking forward to that (I think?!) small hiccup with all the forms...the CRB form has just been changed so after spending ages filling it out and making special trip to LA with all the 'proof' we've got to do it all again.
DOH!

Hello to everyone, hope you are having a good w/e
x


----------



## katie c

hey all 

i know i've been AWOL for a while. having a bit of a fraught time. not all bad though, but i'll come back to that in a mo'

firstly - a belated congratulations to paula on being approved 

i've been absenting myself a bit from the thread as i was a bit upset about having a second visit from SS. it seems everyone on here is on prep courses or has one lined up. and i felt a bit like i used to when everyone was getting treatment BFPs and not me. and it's not something i'm particularly proud of 

anyway we had the second visit today, and as expected they want us to delay for a bit. they want mr c to have some more CBT and once he's completed that, for us to go back. they said that because he had some time off for anxiety they just want to be 100% sure he's back on track before proceeding. and that it's better to do it now, than it become an issue during assessment, and for them to tell us to go away then and sort it.

the good part though is the vibe seems to be positive over all. they said we were doing all the right things, we just need to resolve this issue. and they said it was great we were being so honest and open. so i don't think it's an outright no. well i hope so.

so while i'm a bit sad and disappointed at yet _another_ delay to us ever getting a family,  i don't think it's forever 

it just seems we have drawn the short straw a bit, social services strictness-wise. but on the same token, i respect them...they're being responsible and honest and hopefully this will be the case during approval and matching. it's just going to be some time coming...

 to all, i hope you all get where you want to be a bit quicker than us


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Katie big hugs hun sure you must be feeling all over the place at the moment


----------



## ❣Audrey

Fergux - good luck on your prep course.

Katie C - my heart goes out to you at the moment chick.  I honestly think that if there was no chance of them taking you on in the future they would have told you so and I see this as a big positive for you.  It just sucks royally that you have to wait, but like you I do understand their reasoning why.  It's been 2 years now since we started cycling together, but I just wanted to send you massive hugs and tell you my thoughts are still with you and I hope you continue to keep in touch xxx

AAA - how are you chick?  Not long to go now! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

I am good thanks Bee its Friday today for me yeah yeah yeah which means tomorrow is the very first day of our journey towards parenthood hee hee i can't wait until 6:30 tomorrow. We have asked our familes to write something about us and how we would be as parents and hubby's niece who is 20 has written about 3 pages of the most beautiful things about us I cried so much when I read it surely it can't be us she is talking about but it was and it is so from her heart she really honestly meant it. It will have pride of place in our family journey book. How are you, so close to actually getting to meet you the other day I will get there promise LOL


----------



## ❣Audrey

Aww how fantastic!  Can't believe it is finally here for you!  We will meet up soon!!!

I'm ok - resting up this evening as I'm quite tired xxx


----------



## Arrows

AAA, great news about tomorrow and that the ball starts rolling soon!
Katie, so sorry everything is going so slowly for you -I reckon Beebee is right though that the fact they've asked you just to wait rather than say a flat out no, is a positive thing -better doing that now than working so hard to get to panel, then them deferring you then to wait the time. Not an easy thing to deal with and my heart goes out to you.

AFM I'm doing ok although after falling down the stairs the other week and my mother pointing out it was good thing I wasn't pregnant at the time, it's left me dwelling a little on might-have-been's. I haven't though much about those from the last pg but it made me miss the idea of my little one. There's a woman at church due within days of when I was so it's not always easy. I suppose though, there are always reminders of our angels.
I am very much looking forward to the prep course and hoping we'll be given actual dates for it soon -all we know is Oct/Nov so far.

Good luck to everyone on whatever stage you're at.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks Bee and Arrows feeling a little bit nervous this morning got all day to kill yet. I have plenty of house work to do joy lucky me NOT?!?

Arrows    I have just sat here sorting paperwork out and found all our 3 ivf stuff made me think for a moment about the what if's but then a smile came across my face cause it starts today and I can't wait!


----------



## Arrows

AAA, if you're bored you could always bake a cake! That's what I ended up doing the day before while I was procrastinating on the housework!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

I hate to say it but this place really needs a seriously good going over! Only problem is I seem to be making more mess than I am clearing up at the mo! taking 10 mins out to decide where to attack next    why do I always decide to do a total going over when I am pooped dah!! I was up all night woke up after about an hours sleep with a really bad head ache and felt awful so gawd and only knows why I am doing housework I will probably fall asleep when we eventually get there tonight LOL don't think that will look very good!!  Back to it I guess think the bathroom next then I am on spider hunt they seem to have decided to become squatters and we don't like them!!  Have a good day x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Arrows - massive huggles.

AAA - hope it is going well chick xxx

xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

kinda just about sums us up last night it was a really interesting session not a lot we didn't know but gave us the opportunity to ask about the flat she said it shouldn't be a problem but obviously it might delay things if we move during the process think we might be accepting it won't be a sibling group this time round for us and instead will be 1 child for now and then when we get somewhere bigger we can try for a 2nd child. I was feeling very emotionally happy when we came out. I text everyone and my mum sent me a message back just said "yeah yeah I gonna be a granny love you" made me cry my eyes have filled up again this morning just typing that dah. Anyway I will stop waffling cause think I could go on all day. 

Just a quick question ladies should we be making our flat child ready?? Or do we just need to show that we have room for a child just wandering what you all think any hints or tips would be gratefully received?!?!

Hope everyone is ok have a good day x


----------



## Pinky3

AAA - glad the visit went well x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - glad the visit went well chick!  We did move some of our rooms around when we started the process but only as we had some work done last year and it was on the cards.  Other than that we obviously had a lot of children's stuff around anyway due to Row, Will and Cali!  You can always start stock piling toys and stuff  xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks Bee think that is what we might do, we are gonna have a massive de clutter first and then go toy/book shopping hee hee. Hope you are ok  have you heard anymore about been allocated a SW? 

Have a good weekend everyone x

Anj is it today matching Good Luck not long now until your little man comes home


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA.....Thanks for your Good Luck wishes, yep Matching Panel was today, and they said a unanimous.............

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Myself and DH are both totally over the moon (as you can imagine), as well as being totally shattered and drained (we were both very nervous and stressed as so very much was at stake.)

We start the introductions at the beginning of Sept and little man should be home with Mummy and Daddy about a week later.

We were allowed to take some photos away with us today (which we can't stop looking at!), and there have been many happy tears (both from us and family & friends!), a very emotional day!
Sorry for the 'me' post, but I'm totally exhausted!! I think I have aged about 10 years today!!! 

Lots of love to you all,

Anj x


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

OMG Anj that is brilliant news, congratulations!!!


----------



## katie c

congratulations, anj


----------



## Camly

fantastic news anj!! looking forward to hearing all about intros. enjoy every moment - its fab!! xxx


----------



## popsi

Anj...thats wonderful news.... enjoy every day now honey as this is the beginning of your wonderful life forever....its well worth waiting for honey xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Ohhhh ANJ!!!!!!! Amazing news!!!!! xxx


----------



## minmouse

ANJ,

Such amazing news!  So glad Panel went to plan.  Good luck with intros, keep us up to date with them.  Its all good news on here just recently.
Min
x


----------



## Anjelissa

Thank you all for your lovely messages   

I keep looking at his pictures, and it still doesn't seem real!
Almost like I'm going to wake up at some point!

I nearly got all emotional in front of the panel (about 12 of them). They asked us why we feel our little man is the match for us, and I was trying to explain that the bonding process began for us the moment we heard about him, and it sounds crazy, but we love him so much already!
At that point I got a bit emotional, but just about managed to hold it together.
A few of the panel members have adopted or were adopted themselves so I think they completely understood, and were so lovely as they kept smiling and nodding at us, being really supportive throughout.

I remember reading other people's posts who were at this point, and thinking how lovely it would be to be where they were. I just want to tell you all that you are here before you know it!   
I hope all your adoption journeys are as quick as possible and you all reach this point soon   

Love Anj x x


----------



## eknowles

hi all 
just back off hols so catching up on last 2 weeks posts and all i can say is CONGRATS anj that is such wonderful news

em xx


----------



## Arrows

great news ANJ!!!!!


----------



## Pinky3

Anj - massive congratulations x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj and Mr Anj and Master Anj yeah yeah yeah a family soooooo pleased for you all. Really looking forward to hearing all about it. x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

sorry been away for a bit, been changing internet providers and has took some doing.

Anj- huge congrats to you all, won't be long till your a forever family x x

Arrows-  Bless ya hun. Think we'll always have what might have been popping up. I was going through my laptop bag the other day looking for cd's and came across our old ivf paperwork. It completely threw us and we were both in tears. Dh for all the tests, injections i've had and me for lost beanies. Suppose it never really goes away does it?

Katie c- hope your doing ok sweetie x x

Always and Beebee- hows things with you x 

Em- hope you enjoyed your jollies

Hope everyone else is ok 

As for me, we have been allocated a s/w. Yipee!! She is coming out on the 1st sept to discuss the assessment process further with us and timescales etc... To say i'm excited is an understatement lol. Dh is more reserved but he always is bless him.

Take care x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Excellent news sweets x


----------



## eknowles

thats brill sweets
em xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Sweets! Fantastic news! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi hope everyone is ok  xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Evening chick -how are you doing? xxx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. Hows everyone doing? Been a bit quieter on here. X


----------



## ❣Audrey

Hey sweets xxx

I'm ok - been pretty busy at work so haven't found as much time to get on.  How are you doing? xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi sweets and Bee

I am really good thanks still walking round with a big smile on my face x


----------



## emma.b

Hi Girls

Mind if I join you? We've just had initial home visit and are awaiting the write up from the social worker. Hoping to be on prep course in November. Would love to chat to you all about your experiences.

Emma.b x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi emma welcome to the thread, everyone on here is lovely. We have just been on our info evening so a little bit behind you x


----------



## emma.b

Thanks for the welcome. We went on info day end of July. Luckily social worker was able to see us quickly. I hope you don't have to wait too long. We're hoping to be on prep-course in November if not will have to wait til Feb. I'm fed up of waiting but it will be worth it in the end.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Fingers crossed for November then hun x


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone we've just come home from majorca & We have had some good news I rang a neighbouring council who are able to take us on without us having to start alll over so they are coming to do a home visit on the 9th & fingers crossed we can start our assessments soon so we have 2 possible agencies to work with a voluntary agency & neighbouring LA, we have chosen a neighbouring LA so far

emmab welcome to the thread hun hope you can get onto the nov prep groups

sweets great news on being allocated a sw

angelissa congratulations on being matched to your little boy bet 1st spet can't come quick enough!!

hi to everyone else hope your all ok xxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Fantastic news hun hope you had a lovely holiday x


----------



## sweets x

Racheal- thats fab hun, bet your really pleased. Hope you had a lovely chilled out holiday. x x 

Beebee- Hope work calms down abit for ya. I'm good thanks, looking forward to getting started.

Always- Glad your happy hun, roll on next step

Emma- welcoms to the thread hun, everyone on here is soo lovely. Hope you get on novembers prep course. When do you find out if your on or not?? Any questions hun then ask away, everyone will try and answer for ya x x

Wishing time away our end lol. We have 2wk off together in 4 wks and can't wait to spend some proper time with my lovely hubby. He is quite down at moment. Worried about the adoption being turned down cause of our pennies situation, also worried about how we'll cope when i'm off owrk with child/ren. Are any of you or your hubbies worrying about money. Think he is also just very nervous about the whole thing.

Take care  x x x


----------



## katie c

well, we've had the letter from social services. they want us to delay our application until _february_. another _six months._ and then we have to start all over again

this is to allow us time to reserach adoption more (how? how would that be possible?  ) and to sort out our 'issues.' they make us sound like a pair of social inadequates, and i'm sat here in absolute floods of tears

our 'issues' our mr c having a few days off with stress in december, and because we have an open minded gp who instead of telling him to go away and get a grip and recommended CBT, and mr c did the emotionally mature thing and took that advice...that's gone _against_ us?

i know adoptive children will need emotionally strong parents, but this was a work related thing not a personal life thing. they make him sound like he was detained until the mental health act or something, and not just having a hard time at work like about 95% of the population right now

so much for we don't want perfect people, just for you to be 'good enough' 

is it worth appealing? or trying a VA?


----------



## panorama

Oh Katie    Sorry to hear this, I really don't see how having 6 months off will make any difference really, of course I know that adopted children need strong parents but one episode of work related stress really does not mean you won't make fantastic parents. I cringe when we are made to go through such hoops and the general population can just have kids just like that, it really isn't fair.

Perhaps it may be worthwhile contacting a VA and getting their opinion, cos there is nothing that the LA have specified will make a difference really, or perhaps may be worth contacting another LA too?

Sending lots of hugs, such a cruel world sometimes       

Rachel  -great news   

Hello everyone else! Bit busy at the mo but will be back soon!

xxx


----------



## Pinky3

Katie    i would phone and explaine you situation with the boss person of the LA, also i would ring a rounds and get another opinion for at VA or other LA - They may just be too busy/short staffed and tring to push you to the back of the queue      

Sweets - we worry about money, so did everyone on our prep group - i guess if you had a baby you would have no choice, but we have ages to think about everything


----------



## thespouses

Hi all, just thought I'd give a quick update, I'm not sure I've been on here since shortly after we were approved in May - because we are ICA we are knee deep in paperwork - filling in the same form about 5 times over and then being told it has been sent to the wrong person   it seems like!

Anyway all our paperwork has to be "officially sent" i.e. via a notary and about 50 other people, and finally it is ALL at the notary's office so should get to the overseas agency in the next few weeks! Phew!

We've also been putting together a profile (which is kind of a cross between the flyer that people sometimes send round LA offices, and a child's intro book) which has actually been quite good fun.


----------



## thespouses

Got the message today from the notary that our full set of paperwork seems to be in order - now it has to go to a round of government offices in both countries - more waiting...


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Katie hun I am so sorry   

The spouses hope there isn't too much waiting for you x

We had a letter yesterday saying they have received our form and it is been looked at by a SW will hear from them soon    let them get in touch soon    that they don't tell us they can't help us at the moment I am so worried the size of our flat is going to go against us


----------



## ❣Audrey

Emma - welcome to the thread! xxx

AAA - how are you chick? xxx

Rachel - that's fab news xxx

Sweets - sending you massive huggles xxx

Katie C - grrrrr I am so upset for you .  I don't understand why they are being so harsh - J had a similar thing and had CBT, but once the VA had spoke to our GP they were more than happy to take us on.  I think it is worth looking into the VA chick.  In the mean time I am sending you oodles of hugs  xxx

The Spouses - hope you hear something soon xxx

As for us - we got a letter yesterday saying our application is in and good, we need to start more voluntary work as having Will, Row and Cali once a month isn't enough so I shall start researching opportunities in our area.  My work hours are probably changing at the moment so I will have to try and fit it in around that!

xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone hope you have all had lovely weekends

Bee I am good thanks shattered today had a crazy weekend! Good luck with the voluntary work hun, how much experience do they expect you to have hun just cause i am being nosey LOL. We might have a free day soon to catch up LOL


----------



## ❣Audrey

I'm not sure how much they want us to do chick - I'm trying to see what is about in our area .

A catch up would be fantastic! xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Think we might be decorating living room next weekend if i can convince hubby LOL, we have spent ages moving stuff about and having a good clear out this weekend trouble is the walls in the living room don't look so good now. Text me some dates when you are free hun and we will see what we can do!

Hope everyone is ok 

Anj have you meet your little man yet?? I have forgotten hope if you have its all going really well if its not yet hope it goes well when it does happen xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I haven't forgotten about you all, I've just been crazy busy trying to get everything sorted for our little man.

AAA......We meet him tomorrow hun, thanks for your good wishes 

I'll be back on at some point to try to catch up with where everyone is at, but apparently our intro's should only take about 6 days Weds-Sat, then Mon and poss Tues, so once he's settled, I will try to catch up with you all, and of course fill you in on how we're getting on.

Btw, I'm trying to think of a name for little man on here, so I'll let you all know when I've decided on one 

I hope you are all well, and please forgive me for being awol, it's all been a bit of a whirlwind since we were matched!  

Lots of love Anj x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

wow Anj I have gone cold reading your post how amazingly exciting. Look forward to hearing all about it Good Luck to you both mummy and daddy xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anj - massive hugs and thinking of you today - so chuffed for you! xxx

AAA - well the only dates I can't do at the moment are next Friday - off to see Muse and possibly next Sunday as well - want to go and see The Hoosiers! xxx


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone   

Anj - how exciting that you will be meeting your LO for the first time today, gives me goosebumps    Hope it goes great and he settles in well with you, I'm sure he will love his new mummy and daddy!   

Bee - hope you can find some voluntary work, I do Rainbows but I guess it must be hard if you work full time to fit something in with your schedule. Otherwise you can maybe try weekend play schemes? I must admit even tho I know it will all be valuable etc it just seems like we have to be perfect when no-one else ever has any experience before having kids but hey ho! 

AAA  -have fun decorating!

Thespouses - good luck!

Hi to everyone else, our hs officially gets going next friday, can't wait!    And prep groups now confirmed for october so all systems go soon! Medical also arranged for next week. For the first time I actually want winter to come so we get closer to our dream!   

A xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Panorama excellent news hun all go now. I haven't managed to convince hubby to decorate the living room    we have just changed estate agents so hoping for a move I really don't think it is going to happen but hubby wanted to give it one last push so will try would be great to have a house but I some how don't think so!!

Bee cool will sort something out hubby is gassing on the phone. Enjoy Muse!  When is your hospital appointment  I have been asleep for an hour and half i am sooooo tired ready for bed! Did you find any voluntary things?? Think we are going to struggle on that one as hubby works a 2 wk shift pattern so its gonna be a bit difficult but we'll get round it somehow where there is a will theres a way haa x

Anj hope it all went well today been thinking about you x

Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## Arrows

panorama -great news!
Are you in the same LA as we are?? Be good to know a face in the group!

We're doing ok -tired as started back on routine of getting up early and so already shattered -hopefully I'll get used to it again before next week when I'm back at work!


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - hospital is Monday yay!!!  can't believe it is finally here!!  I'm a bit worried today as I have been feeling like an attack is coming for the last 24 hours and if it does I can't be treated so I am hoping I can stay chilled and it not happen!

Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bee chill out hun, well there was me thinking maybe we could arrange something for this weekend but we're booked aaarrrgggghhh. 

Anj hope its all going well xx

Can i just ask ladies as I am getting very impatient (i know I know its early days but I just want to know its gonna happen) how long did peeps have to wait after the initial form is sent back to hear anything??  It has been 2 wks today and haven't had anything other than a letter to acknowledge it had been received!


----------



## emma.b

Alwasys an auntie- I was impatient too and ended up ringing our LA after sending back the initial form. My husband was on annual leave so I asked if they could come whilst he was off. They sent a social worker out that week to do an initial assessment. I hope you hear something soon.

AFM- We are still awaiting the write up from our initial visit but the SW rang last week and said he was a bit behind and that we should be on the November course! I can't wait! We have just booked a holiday to New York with friends at Christmas, thinking that this may be our last without little ones!

Emma x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks Emma New York sounds great. Think I will leave it another wk if we haven't heard then I will ring I am just worried that our home won't be big enough or that they will want me to wait longer after our IVF    we hear soon xx

bee enjoy the muse tonight xx

Everyone have a lovely weekend xxx


----------



## panorama

AAA - we were waiting same time as you last year and it took over a month due to summer holidays etc so hope you hear from them soon!
Emma - excellent news. NY will be great, we're hopefully going on our last big holiday end of november too! Fingers crossed!    
Bee - enjoy Muse! Hope you don't get an attack hun    

Arrows - we're in a different LA to you, hope going back to work has been ok!   

Yay it's weekend again! Hope you all have a good one! xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - it's ok I am working today!  Unfortunately I did have an attack yesterday but my new fitness regime seems to have helped the meds respond quicker which was good!  Muse is next friday so excited though!!!  I would give the LA a ring just to find out what is happening chick - you can never seem too keen in my opinion!

Panorama- have a good weekend!

Em - good news on the November course xxx

xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Dah Bee I was sure it was this Friday what am I like LOL. Gonna leave it another wk then I will ring them.

Panaroma thanks hun I can't help being impatient its just me x

Have a good weekend everyone xx


----------



## liveinhope

Not sure if this is the right place to post!  After nearly 7 months since our last cycle of ICSI, DH and I have decided that adoption is the right route for us and we have downloaded application forms.  OMG! I feel so excited that a new journey is beginning.

Am going to be on here a lot me thinks!! Look forward to getting to know everyone better soon 
xx


----------



## AoC

Hi - I'm not entirely sure where to start, but I just wanted to pop in and introduce myself.  After 7 years ttc, DH and I have decided to pursue adoption.  Suddenly it all feels very different - it's not a rush any more as time isn't against us like it is in treatment, and it's more about making a family for a child that needs one, rather than US trying to have a child.

Don't know if that makes sense.  What I'm trying to say is that although we have many anxieties about adoption, and whether we'd be good parents, it absolutely feels like the right thing for us.

If I could ask one question?  What advice can you guys give about how to involve/explain to family members?  are there any good booklets/leaflets we can get our hands on?

Thank you!


----------



## Boggy

Hello Anna & Liveinhope, and Welcome to the Adoption and Fostering Board 

I'm sure you'll get lots of help and support from our lovely ladies, but I just wanted to pop in and say Hi and point you in the direction of the Resource Area:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=457.0

Here you will find a booklist, and on that list is a book called "Related by Adoption" by BAAF. This is an excellent book to give to relatives telling them about the adoption process.

Looking forward to getting to know you both

Bx


----------



## popsi

AnnaofC...dont buy books yet.. i think i may have one or two still that will be handy for you... I will look when our princess goes to bed and can send them to you then, as I no longer need them and know you will give them a good home xxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Welcome to the thread Anna and Liveinhope!  You will get lots of support here along the way! xxx

How is everyone else doing?  We have another adoption evening tomorrow night - we were hoping to ask them then when we get assigned a social worker BUT..... we had a call today confirming that we need to make an appointment for her to come visit asap yay!!!  Just need to find out which SW it is! xxx


----------



## Donkey

Hi AOC   

xxx


----------



## AoC

That's great, bee-bee!   

Thanks for the welcome and signposting, Boggy!  I really appreciate it.   

Popsi, you're such a darling.    I'll PM you.

Hi Donks!   

I feel so supported this evening!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi Anna & Livininhope you will get loads and loads of support on here. Anna the way you feel is exactly how we feel its a whole new amazing experience. We have told everyone is our families and been very open about it. I have a lot of young nephews and don't won't it to come as a total shock so have even been talking to them about it all just very general but they are excited as well bless them!  I am also writing a family story and we have asked everyone to write something about us so that helps keep everyone involved and excited for us! Good Luck to you both xx

Bee brillant news all go now! 

Anj hope things are going ok been thinking about you, hope everything is still set for Friday


----------



## liveinhope

Thanks everyone for your support.  Wish you all well in your jourmeys!


----------



## panorama

Welcome liveinhope and Anna - hope you get going very soon!   

AAA  -your family story sounds lovely, I too have young nieces and nephews but haven't really talked to them about it yet, not sure how to. My 10 yr old niece is coming to stay next month so may talk to her about it but a bit reluctant in case it doesn't quite work out, she was so excited when I was pg with my son and then she like all of us really suffered when he died (she was 5 at the time) so not quite sure what to do.   

Bee- hope you get a lovely sw! 

Had my medical yest and my..... did not realise would have to have a (.)(.) exam!    Still doesn't hurt I guess....    Nice to know I'm healthy albeit a little overweight - got me on my exercise bike this morning!   

p xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Well.....
We've survived the introductions (just!).   
Foster Carer was very nice, but it was quite heavy going (as I'm sure all intros are regardless).

Little man came home with Mummy and Daddy yesterday and he is a little angel   
He is upstairs having a nap atm, and whenever we go to get him from his cot, he gives us the biggest grin and giggles at us.  
It's hard to believe that this perfect, beautiful, adorable little boy is our Son!!

We are both a bit frazzled, but are operating a 'tag team' system atm whilst DH is off (he's so good), and that's seeming to work well so far, hopefully resulting in us not getting to 'burnt out' whilst little man settles into his routine.

It is still quite surreal being a Mummy & Daddy, it hasn't quite sunk in yet!

I just wanted to pop in and let you know how it all went and to say thank you for all your good wishes and kind words.   

Lots of Love Anj x x


----------



## galaxy girl

Anj - sounds AMAZING!! So pleased your wee man is home.

As for us we have our first home visit next week !!!! So excited.


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anj - such fantastic news!!!

GG - you're starting similar time to us! We officially start on 20th September  xxx


----------



## panorama

Anj - you must be on    Enjoy every minute!

GG & Bee - me three! Start tomorrow, so excited!


----------



## Cars

Hey Everyone   

Welcome Newbies   

Anj- I am delighted for you and dh, thats brilliant news, enjoy every minute of it!  

Pamaroma-I was suprised at how detailed the medical is but all for a good cause   

Bee Bee-Great news on social worker, time flys through the homestudy!

Well we finished our homestudy today, our sw is away to do form f and then she will email it to us to look over and thats it! We are booked in for the adoption panel on the 4th of November so she went through a few pointers with us today. So excited   

love to everyone
Cars


----------



## galaxy girl

Bee and Panorama!!! Yeah! Roll on Home study ....

Cars - how exciting!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Wow its all brilliant news on here at the mo

To the Anj family some massive    what an amazing thing and little man sounds fab

Cars so pleased for you not long until Nov xx

Bee GG and Panorama May your home studies go smoothly and quickly and what a wonderful year 2011 will be xx

Panorama we are all keeping it very general and just saying that in a while they are going to have another cousin or cousins we have asked everyone to write something about us and my 4 yr old nephew asked his mummy what she was doing she told him and he asked if he could do a picture for us to show his new cousin/s and she is going to write stuff about the days out we have had with him and his twin brothers really cried when she text me and told me. We also have a lot older nieces and the 20 yr old has written something really beautiful. I haven't done too much to it yet cause I still want to know for sure we are going to be taking the next steps as we still haven't heard anything following info evening x

Have a good weekend everyone xx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Hi all, sorry I haven't written anything for ages. I have been popping on to look and read from time to time though. 

Just thought I would say a huge congrats to anj . It must be wonderful.    Also welcome to the new people. Their are loads of lovely people on here who will give you loads of advice and support. 

As for us we are still ploughing on with our home study, really enjoying it though. We have spent this week looking over some old CPR's which can be quite upsetting at times but very useful. However, it has been good to get a picture of what we may expect in the future.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Mrs D


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone

Congratulations to ANj and family, how exciting!
Hope everyone else is staying patient with the process.

Just spoken to the LA we are going with and we just missed an information evening (damn  ) so we have to wait to the next one which is 9th December - our names are down for that one!  Apparently if all goes well we will be on the Feb/March prep course and they are looking at Dec 2011 or Jan 2012 before approval.  It all seems such a long way off but it feels good to be on the adoption road now.....

She suggested that in the meantime we do some reading, lose some weight and save some money (not quite like that but.....) so that's the plan!

I am excited.....!


----------



## Duckling

Hello everyone,
        I hope I can join you all. I've already picked up so much good advice and reassurance from you. We sent our application form back today!! Wishing everyone good luck.

Love from Duckling


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi Duckling good luck with everything and hope you don't have a long wait to hear following your application form xx

Livininhope Dec will soon be here hun this year is flying past,


----------



## panorama

Morning everyone!

Hope you all had nice weekends!

Duckling - good luck to you too, hope you hear back very soon!

LIH - shame you just missed one, I had to wait ages too before starting but hopefully it will fly by, once you start you feel so much better! December is not that far away   

Mrs Dibbles - glad it's all going well!

First HS went well, next one next week! And then prep groups in October, apparently there will be 7 couples so looking forward to it!

P xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Panorama - glad the home study started well!  You will really enjoy the prep course xxx

Cars - yay to finishing home study chick! xxx

AAA - how are you feeling chick? xxx

Mrs Dibbles - glad home study is going well chick xxx

liveinhope - I am sure the next few months will go so quickly for you xxx

Duckling - good luck with your application  xxx

How is everyone else doing?  I can't believe this time next week we will be on our way with home study!  Started doing some more of the homework we were set and making sure bits and bobs around the house are getting ready now xxx


----------



## AoC

Hi all - I'm having a dark day, I'm afraid, thinking I must be kidding myself to think we could ever be approved as adopters.

Do any of you have any advice about how to work out your finances ahead of adoption?  How to calculate a budget that includes a life with children?  I just can't make it all add up in my head.

Sorry to be a bit of a downer.  I know I'm hormonal at the moment!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anna - firstly massive massive hugs  it's never nice to have down days .  What exactly is worrying you chick?  I think most people will  worry about how they will prove that we can financially manage as well as everything else.  If you have problems that you need to sort then just showing them that you are in control of them will be good.  If you're just worrying in general, look at things you will be able to give up or cut back on.

Thinking of you xxx


----------



## AoC

Thanks Bee_bee.  We have debts (as do a lot of people who've been through tx, one way or another).  We're paying them off, bit by bit, and we're not running up any more.  Our accounts are in credit, we have (tiny!) savings and good wages.  I mentioned it to the SW when I phoned to express an interest, and she said it wouldn't barr us from applying.

There really isn't anything else to cut back on.    And, actually, I'm proud of what we've done to get back in control, with a budget that works, and managing it on a daily basis.

The bit I have no idea how to work out is how much our income and expenditure would be if we're lucky enough to actually adopt, both in the year's adoption leave and afterwards.

In short, although I'm certain we can do it, I don't know how to answer the question, "how can you afford to look after a child?"

And I feel like we need to know the answer, in detail, before someone asks it.  

Anyway, I'm hormonal, so I know these problems aren't as big as they seem to me at the moment.  

It's just that our pet insurance just announced they won't pay out on the £200 claim we have in with them, it was a shock, and it triggered me worrying about money again.  You know how little triggers just set you off down dark paths sometimes?

:-/  Sorry to be a wuss!


----------



## popsi

Anna darling.... we were never asked that question at all, all we had to do was write down our basic incommings and outgoings, and show a mortgage statement to say we owned the house and were up to date with them payments .... you dont need to worry honey and if you need assistance they can help you too xxxx .... i am waiting for my BIL to bring the books over honey i have not forgotten and will send them i promise xxxx


----------



## panorama

Hi Anna    I'm sure not everyone who adopts has a huge stash of money as don't most of the population so I wouldn't worry too much. I think as long as you have room for a child at home and plenty of love, the money won't be that important. And I think there is help out there if you need it. There is plenty of time to save anyway as the process takes a while anyway! We all have these days, I recommend some trashy telly and a bar of choccy     And by the way we've never been asked about money so far! Hope you have a better rest of the day   

Bee - not long now!!   

Popsi - how is your princess?


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anna - you're not a wuss at all!  Many people nowadays will worry about these things - like you say you're up to date which is all that matters.  I honestly don't think they will want a magic answer to your question though chick xxx

Panorama - I can't believe it's all starting  - I think I'd gotten quite comfortable waiting! xxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone


Sorry haven't posted for ages but I have been keeping up to date with posts


Anj - Congrats


Anna - We had to fill out our financial form, in fact the social worker is visiting tonight to discuss aswell. We found it very difficult to determine how much it would all cost us when we have our children, we just doubled everything, its only an estimate. We also asked friends and family about any financial support they receive for the children such as child benefit and tax credits or whatever its called. We went on the websites to check these benefit things out. It has taken us a while to get back on track after spending lots of money on IVF Treatments. But it shows the social worker that we are careful with our money and if at this present moment in time can't afford a brand new 50 inch HD fandabidozey television then we don't buy it. Although we can dream, 50 inch I think it would look like a cinema in our living room with that sized television.    but we shall see what the social worker says tonight about our finances. Hopefully it will still be okay, I have friends who are on lower incomes than me and my hubby and they have four children and the children don't go without and they are happy. I think its all down to money management skills - yep think I will leave that one for my hubby to sort out, was never good at maths   


As for me everything is going okay, with home study. Going to discuss tonight how are we going to encourage our children to live and learn in a multi cultural society. 


Hope everyone is okay


Sonia xx


----------



## popsi

Panorama... she is fab thank you ... dancing to Mickey Mouse as i type xx

Sonia ... good luck xx

bee... things are moving for you honey xx

much love and good luck to you all, one day soon you will all be where I am now, at home with your family and wondering when to do it all again!! xxx


----------



## AoC

Thanks everyone.  I really appreciate your replies.  I still don't 'get it' but I'm trying to trust that we'll be able to work it out somehow.

Good luck, Sonia, hope the HS continues to go well.


----------



## galaxy girl

well first home study visit went well! we have lots of homework!!

On the finances thing - I'm worried about this too. they said they will look at how you manage the money you have rather than how much you have.


----------



## AoC

Thank you galaxy girl!  And yay on the first home visit!


----------



## Charlie5

Hi everyone

Started on the adoption path..social W looking around house on Thursday I'm not really looking forward to it  feel abit stressed. Seems to be alot of people getting preg  that I know and my work though it is my life line in some respects is very child and family orientated. Also a dear uncle is seriously ill at moment sorry for moan just the things going on around me are quite upsetting. Thanks for listening.
Sarahxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Charlie hugs hun I don't think there ever is a good time for these things take care xx

Anna I had the same wobbles last week, we have been trying to move for 2 and 1/2 yrs now and we were gonna take the flat off the market for a few years and move when we were ready to expand our family (those are words I didn't think I would ever say) but hubby decided we needed to give it one last push and changed agents when I was looking through stuff massive panic as we can't actually afford to move LOL but I honestly believe where there is a will there is a way you will get there and you will manage cause you wanna be a mummy!

popsi i love reading your posts really gives me hope that one day I will be in your shoes so to speak 

We had our    call last night so excited the are coming to do our IHV next Friday whoop whoop all starting now xx


----------



## AoC

Hugs, Charlie!  As you can see from my panicky post, we all get upset about this stuff - it's okay to be worried, it's a big thing.  Hope things settle for you.

Great news, Always!

Another quick question from me:  are all the home visits etc during work hours?    I can be flexible, although it sometimes takes a month's notice to find a gap in the work diary.  But Husband isn't so lucky - he needs lots of notice to take leave, and can't always have it just for asking, because they're short-staffed and the work has to be covered.  :-/

Now it sounds like I'm not committed to this process.    It's just that my job's important to other people, and I can't just drop things and run without causing problems for others.

Anyway, I'm sure these are things that can be worked out.    I was just wondering.


----------



## galaxy girl

Mine are after work hours - but i think it might depend on what social workers hours are. I was v relieved about ours as we need 6 weeks notice to take leave.


----------



## AoC

Thanks Galaxy - at least I know after work hours is a possibility.


----------



## panorama

Anna- I'm sure my SW mentioned some saturdays were a possibility too. You can normally plan them a little bit ahead I think. Main thing is prep groups really as they are fixed.

Charlie - sorry to hear about your uncle    Yes always hard to hear people's news but it does get easier   

Popsi - how cute!    Can't wait for that day!


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone


Anna - Our home studies is mainly in the mornings once a fortnight for 3 hours so have taken time owing for them and hubby makes up the time,  if we couldn't do that it would have to be annual leave, but she has given us a couple of evening slots too like last night again 3 hours - was absolutely shattered by the end of it, we never discussed what I thought we were going to discuss even though researched about topic etc before home study last night, instead we discussed parenting skills and she asked us 10 What if Scenarios. We had to think on our feet what we would do but managed it okay.


As for finances she asked us do we run up bills on the credit card, or go into over- draught and have debts. Basically she wanted to see how we managed our money. And have thought about how much money having children will cost. She did say its only an estimate. But she seemed happy about our finances.


As for me    we have our panel date    its (provisionally) on 10th January 2011   , Now it feels very real.
And we are having our extension begin on 4th October 2010 for 2 extra rooms on top of the garage. And the builder has said it will be done by Christmas    Lets Hope !!!


Also we are going to visit some people who have adopted two children on Thursday night 23rd Sept so that should be good.


Anyone going to the Adoption UK Worcester support group on Monday night 20th Sept.  


Hope everyone is okay


Sonia x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Sonia - glad the HS is going well chick - I definitely think they are more interested in looking at how people manage their money rather than how much they have.  Definitely worth looking in to what benefits you are entitled to as well as that can help with budgeting it all xxx

Popsi - do I detect a hint of you considering going for number 2!  xxx

Anna - I think until you've sat down with a social worker and put your mind at rest you're going to have niggles chick.  Sending masses of hugs.  With HV's I think it depends on the authority.  Most social workers will only work office hours, but to counteract this, ours let us know all of our home visit dates in advance so we can book time off xxx

GG - yay on home study starting  I am so looking forward to getting more homework! xxx

Panorama - how are you? xxx

AAA - yay yay yay!!!!!  Not long now chick!!!!!!  We really do need to sort out our meeting up for a cuppa! xxx

Sonia - congratulations on the panel date! I have a feeling we will be going to panel around about the same time! xxx

How is everyone else doing?  I'm having a rough time of it with the hospital - was in again last night.  Had a very bad attack due to picking up a virus from someone at work so feeling a tad fed up xxx


----------



## popsi

bee bee... hope your feeling better soon xxx.... and yep we are certainly planning number 2 LOL just need to wait till next summer as thats a year after princess adoption and we be ready t go again.... its too fantastic a life not too honey x


----------



## AoC

Congrats on getting your panel date, Sonia!    Thanks for the home study info - if it has to be work hours, we'll manage it somehow, it's just not fair on work who've had to cope with my many absences through tx.  Never mind, we'll manage!

Thanks Bee-bee.  I was in a bit of a pit, but I've climbed out of it now.   I know we'll always have niggles - and our first big hurdle is getting to that invitation to apply stage.  Fingers crossed!  Hope you feel better soon.     

Oh Popsi, that's great!  *wiggle*  What a lucky child that will be.   

Our info evening last night was excellent - heard from two social workers,  and from an adoptive parent.  I heard nothing that surprised me, except for the number of kids they place - about 40 a year.  That might sound low to you, but this county is big, but with a small population - it sounded like way too many children suffering to me.     

That's something I'm always going to find difficult, I think - the thought that in order for that child to come to me, they had to suffer.  

But they're not worried about experience - they arrange work experience at Sure Start nurseries, and don't expect you to work on this before applying.  I think support networks is going to be an issue - we have two friends in county, and neither of those are people we could call on in an emergency.  All our good friends and family live hours away, although we're in daily contact.  Although I do dance with a very close-knit group of ladies, some of whom are neighbours, so I guess I shouldn't be afraid to count them among my support networks.

Finances are also going to be an issue.  Although we can demonstrate that from Nov last year we've managed our money really, really well, before then we were clueless.  We have debts that will take years to pay off.  BUT a family member's offered to help, we've never been in arrears, our house is safe, and we'll always be able to cover bills and living expenses, even if our circumstances change.  

You're probably now thinking we're completely irresponsible and crazy to think we might adopt.  But honestly, we're not reckless spenders.  Years of IF tx made me unhappy and obsessed and it took our eye off the ball in terms of managing our money, then the credit crunch happened and our bank literally stopped returning our calls after promising to help.  It was a big wake up call, and I'm proud of the way we've tackled it.  

So our goal is to apply in the New Year, having made an effort to clear some debts and have a solid action plan and budget for the rest.

Thanks for listening.  I really appreciate the support on this site.


----------



## AoC

I do go on a bit, don't I?  LOL!


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone

Anna - glad to hear the information evening was informative.  Sounds like you have a plan to sort out those areas that might be an issue.  Us too! Debts arent a huge problem but we are looking to save a bit of money in readiness for our arrivals.

Popsi - hearing your stories give me hope, so thank you

Bee Bee - hope you feeling better now

Sonia - bring on January 2011! Will come round really quickly.

Hi to Galaxy Girl, Panorama and Always....

Nothing much to report from me - work's busy but the weekend is nearly here!


----------



## backagain

Hi all,
After 10 years of ttc, and three failed ICSI, we feel that the way forward for us is adoption. After a long wait (since April) we've been allocated a place on the next prep course in October, and we're very excited about it. We did a prep course back in 2008, but decided to try IVF first, so we have to repeat the course unfortunately. We've no doubts about adoption, but I have one niggle. We still have a frozen embryo left over from out last cycle, and I really want to use it. I feel that it will always be on my mind if I don't. BUT, would I be able to use it without informing the SS? Is there any way they would find out about it? Is this devious of me? 
Thanks, Nikki. xx


----------



## panorama

Hi Nikki - welcome back!  I have the exact same thing, one last frozen embryo, but we have decided to go for adoption cos we want to try and get a family this way, couldn't really face any more IVF at this stage as we have had too many losses. We haven't ruled out using it in future tho. We've been waiting since sept and just started hs and prep next month, must say when waiting been tempted to go and just do it, but stopped myself because of the possibility of having yet another miscarriage and having to do all the waiting again! I guess you can do it (and I know others who have while waiting) but obviously if you need to go to your GP anytime along the way SS may find out due to the medical. It's risky I guess for these reasons and obviously if you did get pg and something happened it is hard enough emotionally without the intensity of the adoption process. Just my thoughts.... good luck in what you decide!

Anna - sounds like a good plan!

Popsi - very exciting! 

Bee - I'm good thx, busy with work and looking forward to next hs next week and prep in a few weeks! Sorry to hear about your spell in hossie     Sounds like you have to deal with it a lot   

Sonia - excellent news!   

LIH - hello   

p xx


----------



## backagain

Thank you Panorama,
I'm sorry for your losses, and loads of luck with the adooption! Am I right that you've been able to start home study before the prep course? They used to do that here too, but have stopped I think. We've been waiting since April for the prep course, and we've already done it once! I'm so please for you that you've started this new journey.
Thanks for your reply, I hadn't thought about the GP etc, to be honest I don't think my DH would ever let me use it whilst going through the adoption process anyway- we've also just been offered another round of ICSI on the NHS too, so that adds another problem to the mix!

Thanks again, and good luck,
Nikki


----------



## panorama

Hi Nikki - that's good that you've been offered another round on the NHS, but I can imagine it makes it even more confusing! So hard to know when to stop! I know if it weren't for my DH I may have been tempted to carry on, but now we have started I am finding it so much easier and am really quite excited to go down this path. Hoping for a smooth ride     One can't but hope!

Yes we have started hs before prep, just the way they do it at my LA, I know most don't!

Good luck in deciding!!


----------



## Cars

Hey everyone   

Anna, Information evenings can often give you the worst case scenarios but as we found out many children don't suffer, they just have parents who are unable to cope, some children are put into care very early and have wonderful foster carers, so don't feel bad, think what a great childhood they will have with you when you become their mummy.   

bee- Sorry you are not feeling great, lots of     

Backagain- Really difficult one but your Frostie will last a few years? So you dont really need to decide asap, hope you come to the right decision, its so hard   

Panaroma- I was like you, just really happy that we chose to go down the adoption route. Brilliant that you have started HS, it will fly by!

Sonia- Thats brillaint you have your panel date, it just feels like there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that you are making progress   

Popsi, delighted everything is going so well, you are a true example of how good an experience this journey can be xxx   

Hi Charlie and Galaxy Girl   

Well our SW emailed yesterday to say that she is working form home the next few days to complete our Form F- so excited, hopefully will have it end of next week, will let you know how it goes.

Lots of Love and Lollipops!

Cars


----------



## bokbabe

Hi All

I am a first time poster on this board, although I did post on the main board when our info evening was coming up and had lots of friendly advice from everyone    so a big thank you to you all   

As we have our initial visit on Monday, I felt it was time to take the plunge (so to speak) and introduce myself to all you lovely ladies!

My name is Bok and, as you can see from my signature, we have been through the IF lark and have now decided to adopt. Adoption was always on the cards anyway but, naively    we thought it'd come after we had a baby the "normal" way.

Can I be cheeky and pick your brains in my very first post?    What should we expect from the initial visit and what should we have prepared (if anything)? I expect I will be spring cleaning the house like mad over the weekend to use up my nervous energy, so that's one less thing to worry about   

Hope you're all well and have a lovely weekend!

Bok xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone sorry I have been AWOL I am having some gyne issues at the moment flamining endo and have not really been in the world of the living for the last couple of daysx

Sonia fab news on your panel date will be here before you know it xx

Anna sound just like me worrying about everything that they might find fault with take care x

Bee hope your feeling better now hunx

Bok welcome to the thread, we have our initial visit on Friday don't really know what to expect we have our CRB forms to fill in but other than that don't think we have got to have anything else obviously the place will be clean but I my mum knew someone who adopted and they were told their house was TOO CLEAN!!! Weird or what but guessing that meant it didn't look like a child friendly house not sure really!

Hope everyone else is ok have a fab weekend xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Bok - welcome to the thread!  I just did a very good spring clean - they asked questions about family etc and why we wanted to adopt but it was a fairly relaxed affair! xxx

AAA - massive hugs chick - 6 days left now!

How is everyone else?  My weekend is going to be spent getting the house ready for Monday xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

I just want to say I'm sorry for not being here much, I don't seem to have a minute spare for some reason!!   Can't imagine what that would be! lol   

Little man is settling in well (it's almost 2 weeks now!).
He is a little angel and we are just about getting his routine sorted.
DH goes back to work on Monday, so I'm sure it'll take a few days for me to adjust to that, as he's such a help.
We're both shattered atm, not helped by me having had a bad cold (not good timing!).

Little man is developing quite a fan-club amongst our family & friends as he is so smiley and giggly as soon as he sees anyone!
He is completely beautiful, and we love him to pieces. It still does seem a little bit surreal though, but that feeling is lessening day by day. 

I just wanted to pop on here to say to you all, no matter how hard the path through the adoption assessment gets (and I think we'll all agree that it's not easy, and at times a real royal pain in the butt!!!  ), keep sight of the end goal as it is so very worth it.  
I promise you will look back and the problems will all pale into insignificance once your little one/s move in.

Lots of love and hugs to you all, 

Anj x x


----------



## sonia7

ah thank you Anj, I really needed to hear positive stuff today. I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment, I was reading a book recommended by our social worker and while reading through them I felt very sad and upset thinking our little ones are going through or may have gone through the things they mentioned, then feeling negative about it all how will I cope with all these issues, then thinking I am not going to be a good mum, then thinking I am being silly. It doesn't help that AF is here     so I am all over the place and work has been a nightmare this week, I even had a rant and broke down in tears at work this week too. Normally I can cope with a lot of things but this week just can't. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to do adoption homework when AF is here. And also the extension is starting on 4th October 2010 which I know is very exciting so got that going on too.


Anyway DH has gone to get me some fish n chips - yummy.


Hope everyone is okay.


Sonia xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bee happy housework hun our spring clean has gone a bit wrong currently looking like a bomb has landed lol.

Anj aw how wonderful to hear your little man has a big fan club hope your feeling better xx

Sonia massive hugs hope af clears off soon xx


----------



## sweets x

hi

sorry have been awol, managed to block myself from getting on ff but is all sorted now, will try and catch up on you all.
Anna- nice to see you on here hun, welcome to all the newbies, good luck to you all.

Beebee, always, hope your doing ok

hi to everyone i have missed, have been really tired lately and proper busy at work so have been falling asleep as soon as i habe had my tea. Am off work for a few weeks so should catch up with you all soon.
Start individual home visit tomorrow so off to spruce house up a bit, take care x x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Sweets!!  We start home study tomorrow too!!  I felt so guilty about being off work this week that I have sent Jake out to see his brother and am manically trying to make sure the house is in order!!!

Good luck chick xxx


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck for tomorrow Bee_bee and sweets

xx


----------



## Pink Lady 66

Good luck bee bee have they given you any idea when you might go to panel ?


----------



## Cars

Bee u'll be absolutely great tomorrow, very best of luck xxxxxx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Thank you! xxx

Lady Pink - I think it will be after Christmas time but it could be before as we are a very straight forward couple if that makes sense?  They don't give dates through the VA anymore just a rough idea so you don't actually know the date you're going to panel until the week before! xxx


----------



## sweets x

Thanks live in hope, quite nervous but excited too. Beebee, another couple on our course have been told they'll be at panel by february. Its all very exciting.


----------



## panorama

Bee & Sweets - good luck tomorrow! I'm sure you will both be fine!    All very exciting when it starts! We have our next session on thurs, so far we have gone to the LA as we're sharing our travel but this thurs she is coming round so will be cleaning wed too! 

Cars - not long for you now!   

Bok - welcome! Hope initial vist goes well, don't worry too much about cleaning, our SW just stayed in our lounge and dis not look round!    But I guess it varies.

Sonia - hope you feel better soon, this is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster so is all pretty normal   

Anj - how lovely    Nice to see he is settling in well!

Hi to everyone else, off to bed! 

p xx


----------



## Arrows

hiya everyone.
Congrats to Anjelissa on surviving the first 2 weeks -I'm sure it still feels a bit surreal!

Bee bee and Sweets good luck with the start of your home studies.

We're still waiting to hear back about the exact dates for our prep course in Oct/ Nov and praying they fall on a Sat as gonna really struggle taking ANY time off work at the minute.

Tomorrow I'm teaching my first lesson and no idea what I'm doing! I've been given no criteria or learning outcomes to follow and my group are the lowest possible ability. I've never met any of them so quite worried I'm going to mess it up.


Better get to bed.


Rachel


----------



## sweets x

P- good luck for thursday, how are you finding h/s??

Racheal- good luck with 1st lesson, what age do you teach? Hope your hear soon about prep course.

Am so excited/nervous about today can't sleep. So thought i'd come downstairs and tidy up, but lights have blown lol so can't as too dark, waiting for natural daylight lol. Have a great monday folks x x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Sweeeeeeets!!! It's today yay!!!  Good luck chick!  I've been up since 5am although I woke up at 3.38am thinking it was 5!!!  been out with my trainer so am now quickly catching up before last minute tidying and getting ready!  Not that I am at all excited or anything  xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bee best of luck today hun not that you will need it. Are you about on Saturday for a coffee DA DA said I would get there one day lol new phone day so coming into town yeah xx 

Sweets Good Luck today hope it all goes well xx

Anj hope you have lovely mummy time with little man now daddy is back at work xx

Had a bit of a sort out over the weekend have updated all our photos of our nieces and nephews and made some changes to bubbas room it looks lovely now, mainly done as estate agents have commented that it doesn't look like a usable room it does now have shelves and books and and lots of winnie the pooh toys that have come from my old bedroom at mums LOL x

Have a good day everyone roll on Friday this week for more than 1 reason xx


----------



## sweets x

Beebee- its so exciting isn't it lol, roll on 2.30 

Always- hope friday hurries up for ya hun x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks hun I am sure it will be here before we know it as we have still got sooooooooo much I want to do LOL. x


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - yay!!! I will be about saturday and you can meet Rowan, Willow and Cali ohhhh that would be sooo good yes yes yes that would be such a good end to the week  xxx

Sweets - holy cr** batman 2.30pm?  I wouldn't last till then!!!  Ours is at 10am.  I will be thinking of you.  Now I must move my butt! xxx


----------



## Cars

Sweets and Bee Bee- Thinking about you both today, you will be knackered from being up so early! Hope it goes really well x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Cars - thank you!!  It went really well.  It's a bit sad in that we'll likely not get to panel until May of next year now as the social worker we have has a couple of months off BUT she is the social worker we wanted and I get on really well with her.

Sweets - thinking of you right now! xxx


----------



## bokbabe

Hi All

Many thanks for the welcome and tips on initial visit.

AAA, thank you! Mad isn't it? Our house will never be too clean, with 2 dogs about, but it seems a bit that you're damned if you do and also if you don't    Good luck for Friday! 

Ours was about an hour and a half today and just questions about why we're wanting to adopt, how we met, how I came about living over here (I'm South African), support network  etc. It was all pretty straightforward except the one question "what do you know about child development", which is the only question we really had to think about! Then she just had super quick look round (so much for getting up at 6am to make sure everything was just so    ) and left.

She was very positive, especially about our ages and said that we should have a good chance at a baby (although, we are open to any ages up to school age) The only "problem" she foresaw would be our lack of experience with children. A few friends have kids and I have a niece, but she is in South Africa and so she thinks we'll need to volunteer, which we were prepared for but, she said that the may have to delay our application until we have volunteered for 6 months    As it is, the first available prep course is only May 2011 and, if they delay us, it'll mean the next one which is Sept 2011      I will start looking into volunteering IMMEDIATELY though and hope that helps somewhat, it's just quite difficult, as DH works every Saturday and had to commute a fair distance, so evenings are out too... oh well, we'll sort something!!

Bee_bee, glad it went well and, ywhile may seems a long way away, a SW you get on reallly well with must be worth their weight in gold!!

Sweets, hope it went well!

Panorama, thank you for the welcome!

  to everyone else, I will try catch up with where everyone is at soon but, for now, I'm rushing off home to dissect the SW visit with DH, as I had to get straight back to work after she left!!

Bok x


----------



## Arrows

Thanks sweets. All went very well today and seemed to judge about right.
I teach 16-22yr olds with severe learning difficulties, sensory music.  Today was finding out what they could and couldn't do -discussing the 5 senses and their favourite things.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sounds like a good day was had by everyone x

Bee cool we are coming in to get my phone we are going out for a meal in the evening but name a time and a place and we will be there! Will warn you though hubby is the biggest kid going LOL you watch he'll go all shy hee hee x  Big hugs as I am sure your delay will come hard for you but it will all be worth it hun least when she comes back she'll be full of steam and it will be all go for you both xx

Bok oh heck child development!!! Oh heck don't know how we'd answer that!! We have got endless nephews and nieces but still not sure everything we do with them will be enough but we will see. PLeased it went well hun

4 more sleeps hee hee x


----------



## sweets x

evening all 

Cars- thankyou, hope your ok 

Beebee- glad all went well, shame about the wait but if she is the one you want its worth it ain't it hun.

Bokbabe- wish you lots of luck with the volunteering 

Arrows- what a rewarding job hun, bet you enjoy it

Always- 4 more sleeps, your excited aren't ya hun, will be thinking off ya.

Hope everyone else is ok

My session went really well today, talked about everything from birth, childhood, schooling, work then family etc...
Also, we are booked in for panel already, 3rd feb 2011...OMG!!!!!! So have been a little hiper since she left lol. 
Seems were getting closer to our forever family. Still worried that something will go wrong but, just trying to enjoy the feeling right now

take care 
sweets x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Wow Sweets thats well close. Yeah I am excited xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Sweets that's so fantastic chick! xxx

AAA - let me know what time suits you two best and we'll meet up chick!  Fortunately we don't have a delay in starting - our next session is october 11th but in November we have none, and some of March she is off also! xxx

Arrows - what a rewarding job! xxx

Bok - we have to do volunteer work too.  You'll be interested to know that my husband volunteers at Venture Scouts and even though this is with teenagers, our VA actually class this as good enough as they like one partner to have had experience with older age groups!  I am going to have to go back to my old Brownie troupe, but we get to do this alongside home study.  We have our neices and nephew a lot - once a month and then in school holidays and take them on holiday once a year.  However because they are relatives this doesn't count towards our experience xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Will do Bee it won't be early as hubby likes his sleep!!!! It is weird cause I am sure at our info evening they said if your brothers and sister have kids borrow them lots weird oh well we'll see what the see hubby is gonna have a problem as he works shifts! But I am sure he will find something to do. Least things will still be ticking along then for you just a bit slower than you'd like haa hun x


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - it may be different through LA chick.  Plan for the weekend sounds good chick.  Must go get ready for work now xxx


----------



## sweets x

Just a quickie as on mob. Our la said we had plenty of experience with kids at open evening as we have 11 nieces and nephews. Strange how it differs. Wonder if we'll need to do voluntry with kids too! Hope everyone is ok today x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

I sorted out my voluntary work today - I am going to volunteer with cubs! xxx


----------



## Duckling

Hi everyone,
Thanks Always An Auntie, Panorama and Bee bee for your welcome.
I'm glad it went well Bee bee, Sweets and Bokbabe - it's great to hear your news. We had our initial visit today. It went really well despite terrible nerves. She was really friendly and positive and dh made her laugh and she ate 2 of my cakes! She’s left the CRB and medical forms with us. We're waiting to see if there's room on the November course now - I really hope so. 
Good luck to everyone else, I hope everything’s going well.
Duckling x


----------



## panorama

Evening all 

Duckling - great news! Always a good sign if they eat your cakes    Hope you can get on the november course!

Bee - good to hear, I just did Rainbows earlier, the new girls this term are hard work!    Hope you enjoy cubs!

Sweets - our LA also happy with us looking after nieces and nephews but she also thinks the voluntary work will also help.

AAA - is it initial meeting this week then? 

Arrows - glad it went well, bet they will love you!   

Bokbabe - glad it went well. Hope they get you on the sooner course! And hope you get some volunteering sorted!

Hello to cars, LadyPink et al!

Cleaning day for me tomorrow before next visit on thurs, maybe this time she may look around!  Might have to bake some cakes....     Shame my cleaner doesn't come till friday, would have saved me the work, oh well....   

Night everyone!

p xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sweets we have loads of nieces and nephews as well (hence my name) don't see them all as my bro had issues with our fertility stuff and his way of dealing with it was to shut us out! But without his 2 we have 13 ranging in ages from 2 to 21!

Bee hope your ok today and work yesterday was ok. I will speak to hubby later and try and sort something out for Saturday will text you and make arrangements, its not looking like its gonna be a nice day or we could have meet you in the park!

Duckling pleased it went well I don't think I will risk the cakes LOL I don't want to scare her off at the first hurdle LOL

Panorama have a good cleaning day, yeah its our initial home visit on Friday morning can't wait I am really freaking out about it all as I am so nervous and just want her to like us I am worried about not being able to answer the questions and freezing! I am being silly cause I know it will all be cool but I wouldn't be  me if I didn't get in a tis over everything!

Have a good day everyone 2 more sleeps hee hee


----------



## Cars

Always an Auntie-two more days and bet your mind will be put at rest! Our sw was lovely and had no interest in looking around the house even though I was on my hands and knees doing the skirting boards etc. Don't worry about freezing up, they must understand that this so important to you and you will be nervous, hopefully they will put you at ease straight away. Honestly don't stress, I did and our sw could not have made us more comfortable, you'll be great x

Duckling, glad it went well xx

Bee Bee- Volunteering with cubs will be fun! Enjoy! Glad it went well with SW xx

Panaroma, ours didnt look around until maybe the 4th or 5th visit, i think she felt quite awkward doing it so it basically took her about 10 seconds! Good Luck Thursday x

Sweets- so glad it went well for you, thats brilliant that you are already booked in for panel, thats what I like to call progress!!

Love to everyone xxx


----------



## panorama

Good to know Cars - will put my feet up now!    I have done a general tidy and vacuum downstairs, I have been putting it off all day!    No cakes baked either, oh well.....

Time to make dinner and then off dancing tonight, have to make the most of it while we can eh?   

xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Cars thanks that is really sweet of you, one more sleep! I have a small heap of ironing looking at me just waiting for it too get a little bit lighter and hubby is gonna flick a duster and hoover round today and bath room in the morning so should all be done phew x

Panarama is it today hun good luck hope it all goes well xx


----------



## Arrows

My work have had to make a lot of cuts and so after being given a verbal warning about sick days, as I had to take off last Friday due to period pain and sciatica, I went to the doctors today. (apparently my job may be at risk if I'm off too much) The doctor told me she thinks it sounds like it has now developed into Endo (lap in 2008 show a small cyst which was removed but that was all) and now been prescribed Cilest and Mefenamic Acid and told to run the packs of Celest together so I only get bleeds once every 3mths instead. She also recommended that I go to my Occupational health and get them to get in touch with the Doctors so that work can't use my sick days against me. She said it would be good to see if we can control it with the drugs rather than going straight for another lap.
So that's it it seems. The final end to TTC. 
I know that we're certain in our plans to adopt and the timing is really pretty good, but I couldn't help but hope for a miracle and now that's over.


----------



## ❣Audrey

Arrows - massive hugs.

AAA - just wanted to say I am so excited for you for tomorrow! xxx


----------



## sweets x

Always- best of luck for tomorrow. Arrows- sending you a massive hug. I felt exactly same when I was put on the pill for endo, knew we were adopting but think you always just have a little hope for 2 miracle. Good look with the tablets. Look after yourself. Hi to everyone else. Just a quickie as on mob as laid on sofa with wheatbag on hip. Waiting for painkillers to kick in. Will post  and read back tomorrow x x


----------



## ❣Audrey

good luck today AAA! Very excited for you chick xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows    hun you sound exactly the same as me sadly its looking like it will be a lap for me. 

Bee and Sweets Thanks I am    excited and so so nervous    roll on 10 I have just gotta give the bathroom a quick going over and then we are done yeah thanks to my wonderful hubby who did the house work for me yesterday. 

Bee looking forward to tomorrow x


----------



## liveinhope

AAA - good luck for today although I;m sure it wont be needed hun

Sweets and Arrow sorry you not feeling well

love to everyone else.

One of our tasks for weekend is to fill in an application form for our Agency.  Are there any trick questions? Dont want to mess up at 1st hurdle
xx


----------



## panorama

LIH - as far as I remember don't think there are any trick questions, good luck!

AAA - hope it goes really well today!

Sweets - hope you feel better   

Arrows -    So hard not to hope for a miracle, I know I still do, it's just normal. Hope you feel better soon   

Visit yesterday went well I think, she did not look round!    Next is prep courses next month starting on the 7th, apparently there will be 5 other couples.

Think I am a bit hormonal (AF time   ) cos I did feel a little emotional later on, maybe enhanced by the fact that one of my friends just had twins, and still wish it was us    Had to talk a little about my son too which is always hard. But still, glad we are making progress, 2 down 6 more hs to go! And she still thinks we will make panel in february which is really not far away!

Love to all

p xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA - bless your hubby! xxx

Panorama - massive huggles.  This is going to be atough journey at times but we'll all get there xxx

Liveinhope - from what I remember our application form was pretty straight forward - no trick questions xxx


----------



## bokbabe

Hi Girls

Just a quicky, as am sneaking on at work!   

AAA, thinking of you as you sit with your SW,  it is going as well as can be!   

Panorama, glad your visit went well, it must be very hard for you talking about all that you have been through    I can't believe that she didn't look round though    Prep course next month and panel in feb? How fab!!

Love to all others and thank you so much for your support, will pop on at home over the weekend for a proper catch up, although not tomorrow, as it's hubby's birthday and I am treating him to a "perfect day" and, I am sure that, in his eyes at least, me sat on the lap top doesn't equate to a perfect day   

Have a lovely weekend all!
Bok xx


----------



## MrsKLC

Hi girls, 

not been on here for ages, hope u are all doing ok. I have adoption panel on monday and im so bloody nervous its untrue, everytime i think about it (which is all the time) my heart starts racing.......lol, even dreaming about it, there is no escape.............lol

Good luck with whatever stage your at now and if anyone needs any help/advice just give me a shout

Take care everyone
from a very nervous Karen xxxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Little man is napping so I have a small window of opportunity and am typing really fast!!!
(as you can see I'm still at the....'how on Earth do I get anything done!' stage!  )

AAA.....I hope today has gone really well.  I remember all the manic cleaning and tidying!!  
They always look around less than you think, and you almost want to say...Nooooo have a good look (as you've spent so damn long making everywhere look so nice!!) PLUS they don't tend to eat the cakes or biscuits you bought especially! lol.  
We stopped worrying after a while, as later on you'd go mad if you did that for every HS visit.
I think we're all the same for the Initial Home visit though. 
I'm sure it went really well for you today, and that's the first hurdle dealt with! 

Arrows, Sweets & Panorama....Big hugs to you all  

Lots of love to everyone else, I've had to cut this short, and only a few personals as little man is now awake (shortest nap in history!)

Anj x


----------



## Duckling

Hi,
Anjelissa - I love reading your posts - happy endings give me hope!
Karen - Good Luck
Panorama - Really glad it went well, hugs for the tough bits
Sweets - Hope you're feeling better soon
Always An Auntie - Really hope it went well today
Arrows - hope Occup Health can get them off your back - last thing you need is more stress

Hi to everyone else. Have come off my high that I was on after initial visit. Been mulling things over that sw said and now worrying about who to pick as referees and what competencies we have to show. Nice to know from you girls though that it's all up and down and not just me.

Have a lovely weekend everyone. Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone thank you for all your kind words

I don't think it could have gone any better. We were really lucky the sw who came out was there at our info evening and weidly enough hubby said after info evening I really liked her wouldn't it be good if she came out and it shouldn't have been her the lady we should have been seeing was poorly! She said very quickly after she'd got here that she was sorry we didn't live somewhere bigger as we she would love to give us 2    I felt so so proud! No trick questions she asked us to describe our child hood in 3 words went completly blank and all I could here was the clock ticking got there eventually LOL  We have got to have some child care experience as she said although we have lots of nieces and nephews we are aware of them and their boundaries so have got to do something, so will be doing so homework there! Hubby has also got to try and find his ex as she had a little boy from a previous relationship his niece bless her is on the hunt on face book lol.

Anyway I will shut up now LOL hope everyone else is ok.

Anj your posts always make me smile it was really sweet of you to pop on today thanks hun x

LIH we filled in our application form thing as soon as we got home from the info evening oh my god what a muddle we got in we were both useless couldn't stop laughing in the end cause we were reading so much more into the questions than there was I was half expecting her to pull out another form today and asking us to try again LOL

bee looking forward to seeing you tomorrow any spare books would be fab for a little loan thanks x

Nervous Karen sending lots and lots of good luck your way for Monday I am sure it will all go just fine x

Bok hope Mr Bok has a Happy Birthday tomorrow have a lovely day xx

Duckling hope you feel a bit happier again soon hun x

Panorama oh hun after all your hard work as well sorry your feeling sad today big hugs x

Have a great weekend everyone xx


----------



## Anjelissa

I'm really glad it went well AAA    The ball is rolling now!

I'm sitting here typing one handed atm as little man got excited this eve, threw his head back and accidentally headbutted me in the mouth, so I have ice on it at the moment as have a bit of an unattractive thick lip!  I'm sure it's just the first of many injuries lol!  
Daddy immediately took him as he knew it must have hurt and little man looked really worried, bless him, as if he knew he'd accidentally hurt Mummy.
I gave him a big kiss as Daddy took him to bed (as it happened just after he'd finished his bottle), I then stood in the kitchen looking like Elvis for 10mins with ice under my lip! very attractive!!!    

Love Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aw anj thats lovely poor little man bless him will wander whats happened to mummy in the morning!


----------



## ❣Audrey

Anjelissa - bless him - soooo painful when they do that!!!  Sounds like life is good good good in your household - so so lovely! xxx

AAA - can't wait for today!  I am so glad yesterday went well chick!  I will bring books today - got plenty to chose from haha!!! xxx

Hope everyone else is doing well!  We've got Rowan and Wills for the weekend so I ahve just been out and walked the doggies although I can hear Will upstairs playing in her room - she's been up since 6.15am but by rules we don't get her up till 7 at least - mind you that is a major improvement.  When Daddy first did his disappearing act and Row and Will were still quite troubled she would get up at 4.30am...the social worker on Monday said our experience with Rowan, Wills and Cali is fantastic as it will show that we know how these children need support when going through traumatic experiences.  Rowan seems so much more settled this time - smiling lots and generally seeming to have fun so hopefully he has gone past the phase we had in the summer when he wanted to test test test our love!  He told me last night he wants my to teach him piano so we shall buy him a book today xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bless him Bee that is lovely x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Morning all = how is everyone?

I'm feeling quite sad today.  Firstly AF has arrived and with it my mouth has swollen up so I know where I will probably end up today.  But mostly because when we dropped Will and Rowan home yesterday, despite telling us in the summer that she was going to spend some time alone just her and the children we found out that my ex-sister in law had a new boyfriend one week after she split from the last one, but not just that ( although the children refer to him as a visitor and looked hugely shocked when he opened the door yesterday when we dropped them back), but that she will be moving them away - to live nearer him.  I am so sad.  She isn't thinking of the children at all.  

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## panorama

Morning everyone

Bee -     Poor you, hope it doesn't get too bad today. Sorry to hear about your sister-in-law, sounds very irresposible of her, I'm sure it makes you quite angry and obviously sad. Don't really understand people at times. How far will they move? Must be incredibly confusing for the children.

Anj - ouch!!!    Glad its going well tho, stories like yours keep us going!   

Duckling - yes its a bit of a rollercoaster ride this! Hope you can sort everything out soon   

Karen - good luck today!!!!!! 

Bok - hope your hubby had a nice b'day!

Hope everyone else had a nice weekend! I've had a bit of a stressful weekend, I'm a photographer so did a wedding on saturday which went ok but there were so many young kids which is normally fine but just threw me a little this time as I wasn't really in the mood IYKWIM. All about Alex's age too and so cute..... still I got through it! But just been in a bit of a weird mood, hope I'm back to my normal self soon! DH gone till thursday on a work jolly so have to find lots of things to keep me busy. Friend coming over later with her kids as they are desperate to meet my dog, feeling a little brighter today which is good. And DH took me on a shopping trip to cheer me up a bit yesterday which was nice. I guess we can't help having moments of sadness in all this. So looking forward to next year really!!

Right better get into the work mode!!

p xx


----------



## minmouse

Morning ladies!
Not posted for ages as nowt to say my end, still working on house b4 LA will allow us to progress, but Ive been lurking to keep up to date with how you all doing.  Just wanted to say:

Anj - it so lovely to hear about little man - keep up the stories - its gives us all hope
Bee-Bee - just wanted to send you   .  When I read post about your ex S-I-L, it made me so angry!  Behaviour similar to my DPs ex wife - only thinks about herself & not her children.  I think it makes us all the more angry knowing that we've strived so hard for a family that we would never behave as they do.  Grrr.  Hopefully it will all blow over & she'll realise moving them away from a fab support network, on the back of a very new relationship, is a bad idea.  They r lucky to have such a great aunty.

To everyone else, best of luck with your journies, Ill stay lurking and send you all the best of luck.
Min
x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Panorama - massive massive hugs.  I know what you mean about weddings being so difficult - I do photography on the side ( haven't really put myself out there enough to do it full time) and I do find when there are lots of children it really makes you think a bit and not in a good way.  Thinking of you xxx

Min mouse - glad you're still here chick - how long do you think you will have to finish the house now?  The children will be another 30 miles away from us - about 60 in total and when DH and I were discussing it we know it's just that bit too far - as it is we travel a 2 hour round trip on friday nights to pick them up and then same again on the Sunday to take them back.  We have said if their Mum would meet us half way it would help but I know she will make excuses.  I'm kind of sad too because so many times in the summer on a thursday she would ask if we could have them that weekend too - now I know why  xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Just popped on to have a quick catch up.   

Hugs to Panorama & Bee Bee   x

Hi Minmouse, lovely to see you   x

I've just got to say, I'm finding it all such a learning curve! We now have a new 'trick'   
Little man started to play up about a 3rd of the way through meals, when he was originally a little angel with his food   
We've now found (DH's idea) that if we feed him, alongside doing something else, he eats the whole lot!!! It appears we were giving him too much attention by sitting in front of him with our attention solely on him, as he didn't get that at his Foster Carers. 
Ah ha! sneaky Mummy & Daddy!!   
It's around this time (2-3 week mark) that we are aware that 'boundaries' will now be tested as he is confident and secure that his needs will now be met, and he wants to see who's boss.
He is such a little angel on the whole, that it doesn't take much to get around his little power-plays   
I have got to tell you all the funniest thing!!!!   
DH stood in front of little man in his high chair and mimed along (with actions) to the whole of Bohemian Rhapsody! Little mad was enthralled! and even started to open and close his mouth trying to copy Daddy! I think that has to go down as one of THOSE moments in time!!!  

Gotta dash and do 101 things during nap time!!!
What did I do with all the time I had before I wonder!!!!!!!!!  

Love Anj xxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aw Anj that is beautiful and its great that your little man feels he can test you know bless him, give him a massive hug x

Bee    that is so sad and    to your sil there is no answer is there! We loved meeting them as well fingers and toes crossed she will change her mind hun. Hope you didn't end up in your least fav place hun x

Panorama hope you are ok, we are all here for you while hubby is away if thats any help! 

Minmouse hope you don't have to wait too long hun till your posting regularly on here x


----------



## galaxy girl

love to hear how your wee man is doing Anj!

Bee - hope your Ok and didn't end up in hosptal. so sorry to hear about family moving away.

Just had second home study visit - think is going well so far! next week is individual interviews!


----------



## Arrows

Finally got dates for our prep course but they're ridiculous!
Tues 19th Oct, Wed 17th Nov, Fri 3rd Dec.
No consistency at all! Almost 7 weeks between first and last days and going to be a nightmare trying to get time off work. :-(
They'll have to give it of course but I won't get paid and they'll kick up a total stink about it. Dh will end up using his last 2 days of holiday and goodness knows where the 3rd day will come from!
Not impressed and not happy.


----------



## Anjelissa

Galaxy Girl.......Glad to hear HS is going well   . It'll be over before you know it!

Arrows.....That really is ridiculous, I agree!! How do they think that will be of benefit with so much time in between each of the days. You don't get a chance to build up a momentum, plus it will probably be more difficult to form friendships with the other course members when it's so spread out! 
Oh well, the end result will be the same, at least it's booked now and then you'll be starting HS. I completely understand your frustration though hun.   (I just read your post to DH, and he said that apparently our SW mentioned that our LA were going to start doing that too. They say it's due to lack of staff/resources, and to keep people interested over longer periods of time, hoping to have less people dropping out etc and therefore less waste of resources). Ours was 2 days together one week and then 2 days together the following week.
At the end of the day though, just hold on to the thought that all the various things we have to 'put up with' during our assessments are all worth it and in the past once your little one/s move in with you   

We have our review tomorrow with our SW, little man's SW, and another guy who carrys out the review (apparently it has to be done within 28 days of a placement). After that, our visits are reduced to once every 2 weeks. Both our SW and little man's SW are lovely, but it'll be so nice once we go to court and are then left alone!!!!

Love to everyone, Anj x


----------



## Arrows

Thanks Anj -nice to know I'm not stressing over nothing!


----------



## bokbabe

Hi All

Bee_Bee I am sorry to hear that things with your s-i-l are so frustrating for you and DH, your niece and nephew are so very lucky to have you guy and I hope she realises it before following her heart(?). Hope you're ok   

AAA, how fab that your SW was so nice and that your visit went so well and I am so glad that your fears about the size of your home were laid to rest! DH had a great birthday, thank you   

Panorama, thank you for the wishes, DH had a great day, as he works every saturday, it was just really nice to spend the day together   Hope you're keeping busy with DH away.  I can only imagine wha you go through when feeling slightly low and then finding yourself in the company of young children   

Anj, what a lovely story about DH and little man    keep em coming! God luck for your review.

Arrows, wow, those dates are mad! Our prep course is the same as Anj's, a thurs and fri on 2 consecutive weeks. We go our dates today and, even though it is jan/feb, my colleague booked a hol last week that is the same week as the 2nd 2 days and it's only the 2 of us in the dept, so lord knows how I'm gonna wangle those days off    I will though, because otherwise the next dates are May   

Galaxy girl, good luck for individual interviews!!

AFM: as above, we got our dates today and, instead of May like the SW said last week, we are able to get on the prep course in Jan    we're sooo happy with that!! We have also looked into volunteering and have decided to go for beavers/cubs/scouts (thanks Bee, for the idea!), as there are 5 different clubs within 10 miles or so and so we should be able to find somewhere to fit in with DH's working hours . It feels good to be back on track!!

Love to all,
Bok xx


----------



## panorama

Hello!

Just a quickie before I go to bed!   

Bok - great news! Not long to go then! I volunteer with Rainbows and it's good fun! Some weird campfire songs today though, we wanted the girls to learn some songs so a lady came along today as there is a big guiding centenary celebration in a few weeks - one was about squashing a bumble bee and then eating it and sicking it up! Not my words!!!    And one was about different kinds of nightwear and how the best was to go naked in a sleeping bag, again not my words!!!! In this world of political correctness I was a bit shocked!    

Arrows - yes your dates are a little crazy, ours is one day per week for 3 weeks. Really hope you can work something out, as a last resort take a sickie   

Anj - hope it goes well tomorrow, I didn't realise how many visits there were after placement until I read An Adoption Diary    Hope they're not too bad!

GG - glad it's going well!

AAA - thanks hun!    

Feeling much better and have been busy working plus had a friend round last night with her kids (who proceeded to say they wanted to come live with me    mostly cos they love my dog!), had Rainbows today and tomorrow going to go and meet my sis for some retail therapy and then go to hers to see my nieces and nephews. So will be thursday before I know it!

Night night!

p xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone 

Bok excellent news hun I reckon we are gonna be just behind you all the time, there is a prep course here in Nov but she was sure that would already be full so the next one is Feb!    we get on one of them LOL 

Panorama pleased the week is not being too bad for you hun xx

Arrows oh hun thats not good but least its a step forward our prep course will be during the wk as well and falls over 2 wks x

Anj hope the visit goes well hun have you any idea when court date is yet Hope little man is still keeping you on your toes LOL 

Have a good day everyone x


----------



## liveinhope

We have been told that our prep course will be Feb/Mar time and it will take place over 4 weeks - Wednesday of 1 week and Friday of the 2nd etc.  Not too bad for me but my DH is self employed so will lose money to go.  He is a bit annoyed about it,especially when they take such a careful interest in your finances too.

Have filled in most of application form, last bits to do and aim to send off by the end of the week!

Have a great day everyone
xx


----------



## Boggy

Panaorama - Can't resist, sorry

I'm squashing up my baby bumble bee, won't my mammy be surprised at me, I'm squashing up my baby bumble bee, errrrr, what a mess.........I'm licking up my baby bumble bee..........


I love that song!  When I was  Brown Owl we sang some songs that I can't believe we sang, they are soooooooo inappropriate!  There's one about a skinny Brownie, fat girl guide and rather well endowed Guiders!

Hi to everyone else - I don't post much here but read every post, glad to see your all making progress on your adoption journies and big hugs to those whose SW need a kick up the 

Bx


----------



## liveinhope

I remember singing a song in brownies/guides about wearing nothing to bed in summer! Wonder if they are still allowed to sing that?


----------



## ❣Audrey

AAA- Willow said would you and hubby like to come to her hello kitty birthday party next time they stay at ours.  You have to bring your favourite teddy as it is a teddybears picnic lol!  I will text you the date.  So far I have managed to stay out of hospital.  My legs are very swollen with it - I hate that more really as it makes it so hard to move anywhere!!!  Hope you're ok chick xxx

GG - glad home study is going well chick! xxx

Arrows - I really hope you manage to get something sorted with regards to the prep course.  Thinking of you xxx

Anj - so glad little man is settling in! xxx

Bok - yay for the prep course - it will be here sooner than you think xxx

Pan - it's thursday tomorrow! xxx

liveinhope - hope hubby can find a way of making up the money xxx

Boggy - I love love love that song!!!  xxx

Hello to anyone I have missed! xxx


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## Anjelissa

Just a quick update....

Our review today went really well (we think)  .
I say 'we think' as the guy that did the review was so serious. We almost felt bad for playing with little man whilst it was going on, like we weren't being serious enough or something (as we were all playing with little man at the same time).
I'm sure it was fine though and just his manner. Our SW and little man's social worker were both lovely as usual and interacted with little man, but the other guy didn't seem interested in him at all, he just seemed to want to get through the list of questions he had in front of him. Very odd as little man was the TOPIC of the review. Hey ho   

I have been trying to think of a name for little man on here rather than typing 'little man' all the time.
What do you guys think of Nemo?  

Luv Anj x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj sure it will all be fine maybe he isn't a child person and it is just a job. Nemo sounds lovely. I love hearing your happy stories it really does make me feel like this might actually come real one day soon, I booked next years holiday off work yesterday and had a little smile cause you never know my then we might be close to approval (end of JUne)    to Nemo xx

Bee that sounds lovely hun I am sure we won't have a problem finding a teddy bear to bring LOL we seem to have a lot of them appearing at the moment, a new one comes home every time we go to the zoo last time was Chicken the Monkey not sure where the name chicken came from LOL!

Will soon be the weekend yeah x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Glad the review went well Anj!

AAA - love the chicken monkey!  Hope you have a good day today! Only 2 more sleeps to the weekend yay!!!  I've just done my morning doggy walk and am off swimming after work today  xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Bee well done. When is your next home study?


----------



## panorama

Hiya! 

Thursday, yay! DH back later, must admit the week has actually flown by!   

AAA - here's hoping your next holiday will be an exciting time for you!!

Bee - hope legs are doing better, you're definitely very active today!   

Anj - Nemo is perfect! Love the cartoon!   

LIH - that's one of the songs we sang! Bizarre!!

Boggy     it was funny, haven't heard the ones about the overweight guiders yet!   

Met up with my sis and nieces and nephew yesterday and had a nice time, my youngest niece is only 20 months and it's interesting to watch what she does as our own may be about the same age hopefully! She gave me lots of cuddles    The other two are 6 and 8 and wanted to come home with me!    It's nice being an auntie, but can't wait to be a mummy!    

Right better get some more work done before DH comes back!

Love p xx


----------



## Carrie D

Hi everyone...been a FF for a while, but have just jumped over to the adoption world a few weeks ago.  I have my first SW visit tomorrow and don't really know what to expect.  What happens at the first meeting?  Any Qs we should be prepared for?  

Looking forward to getting to know everyone.

Loads of baby dust Carrie D xx


----------



## Boggy

Hi Carrie


Welcome to the adoption and fostering boards   


My area doesn't do initial visits, so I can't really answer your question however if you do a search I think you'd find some answers.   


I'm sure the SW would be asking you why you want to adopt, what you can offer a child, maybe a bit about your background and will probably explain the process to you.


I'm sure others will be along to say hi   


B


----------



## Anjelissa

Evening all   ,

I hope to catch up with some personals in next few days, but just wanted to let you know that I've now definately decided to call 'little man' Nemo   

Love Anj x


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. Carrie- boggy is right, they'll just ask a brief background about you both, families, have a look around the house, history of any ivf etc... Its really a nice feeling to have the 1st visit, kinda makes its all more real  Ang- nemo is ace name, so cute. Hope your doing ok. Hope everyone else is doing ok. Sorry for lack of personals, been reading but not posting for a bit. Been told I have to ask for an op at my appointment monday so been a bit gloomy and didn't wanna post and depress you all lol. Anyhow, were off to whitby today till sunday so am excited about that. Then we'll have monday over with and can tell social worker whats going off and see what happens next. Take care x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sweets looks like we are both at hospital on Monday and gonna be asking for the same thing ain't we the lucky ones NOT!!

Anj hope Nemo is ok xx

Carrie we had our initial home visit last Friday I was a total nervous wreck and I will be totally honest with you it was fine the lady was lovely and really friendly she asked about our IVF which looks like it was about the same time as yours, work, our childhood, and a back ground of who we were it was fine actually just felt like we were talking to a friend about everything I guess it was really just to go over the info given on the form in more detail. You will be fine just be yourselfs 

Panorama pleased you had a lovely day with your nieces and nephews with you on the auntie but really looking forward to hearin mummy! 


Have a good weekend everyone xx


----------



## Anjelissa

I just wanted to say welcome to Carrie, and lots of luck for your initial visit.   
It'll be fine, although I think we are all the same, in that we spring clean our house from top to bottom, make everything looks lovely and buy mini cakes/biscuits etc.
They usually don't really look around much on that visit (not enough to justify the spring clean we all felt we had to do for some reason!   lol), and usually they don't touch the biscuits/cakes either!!    
You'll be fine and that will be the first hurdle out of the way before you know it.


AAA.....thank you re/Nemo   I thought it was apt as he's 'come home' to us, plus I wanted a proper name rather than just 'little man', although I call him that all the time in person   

Catch you all soon,

Love Anj x x


----------



## Carrie D

Thanks for the welcome everyone   

The SW has just left and I think it went well.  She is lovely, but unfortunately she won't be the one who will be doing our assessment.  She is taking our info back and will call next week to let us know when the assessment will start. She seemed to think we had a lot to offer a child which was really nice to hear.  She asked us a bit about our IF journey and I could say hand on heart, that I had felt so relieved to put the IVF stuff behind me and focus on building a family.

You are all absolutely right - I cleaned the house top to bottom, she stayed in one room (probably the messiest as well!) and didn't eat the chocolate biscuits I had bought for the occasion!

Anj - love the name Nemo.  Loved the film and it's a name that just makes you smile - perfect!
AAA - nice to have someone at the same stage as me.
Boggy/Sweets - thanks for the advice and the welcome

 
Carrie D x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Carrie pleased it all went well, yeah it is good to have people to talk to who are at the same stage. I feel exactly the same about the IVF stuff live is so much easier and its nice to be able to smile and not have the constant if only's running through your mind!

Anj thats really sweet x

We have had our report from last friday yeah it makes lovely reading there are a few bits to change but really  pleased with it they are meeting next Friday to discuss us so hopefully the following week we will get our prep course dates yeah xx


----------



## Pinky3

Hi Girls

Not been on for ages, but hope you are all doing well - we're progressing through our HS and hope for panel  in the new year!!

x x x


----------



## Cars

Welcome Carrie, glad ur visit went well, it does feel like a weight has been lifted when u decide to go down the adoption route doesnt it? Let us know how u get on next week xxx      Well we are meeting our agencys manager on the 14th to go over everything and prepare us for panel, nerve wracking, feels like its going to be longest month of my life! Anyway love to u all, have a great weekend x


----------



## bokbabe

Morning All!

Carrie, welcome to the board, glad that your initial visit went well. It seems that you, me and AAA are all starting out together, which is lovely   

Anj, your description of the initial visit was bang on and made me    Nemo is a lovely name and I hope your little family had a great weekend   

AAA,  you get onto the Nov course, you never know!! Hope your hospital appt goes well xx

Panorama, glad DH is home and that you had a lovely time with your nieces and nephews      about the campfire songs!

Bee, hope you're feeling better   

Cars, hope your meeting with the agency manager goes well, how exciting! 

Pinky, how exciting about panel in the new year!

Sweets, hope your appt goes well today   

AFM, we're really excited about January for our prep course as, even if there was an earlier date, we wouldn't be able to go as we have no more hol this year, due to us going "home" for 2 weeks next week (I am from South Africa). I have ordered a book about the process of adoption over here, as it is much more involved than in SA and so my family may not fully appreciate what we have to go through and it will help us explain it all to them. 
Also, my sister told me yesterday, that she was pg with her 2nd and I was really happy for her! Now, you might think that that is an odd thing to say cos I SHOULD be happy for her but, if I explain how I reacted when hearing the news when she told me she was pg with my niece.... I burst into tears    It was right in the midst of our IVF fails and they fell within 3 months and I found it very hard to deal with   However, with our forever family in sight, I can actually be happy for her this time and I am so relieved!!!
Hope you all have a good Monday, at least the    is shining (here anyway!)

Bok xx


----------



## liveinhope

Hi all

Hope you all had lovely weekends.  Ours was pretty good.  Finally finished the application form which I have now sent off.  Have spent time de cluttering our bedroom, in preparation for the future.

Glad to hear everyone doing OK.  It is lovely to hear news of people being matched with their LO's.  One day (hopefully!) this will be me and DH.  Cant wait for that day!

xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Always- how'd your appointment go hun x Roll on you getting your prep course dates.

Carrie- glad visit went well hun, think everyone goes mad with the cleaning too lol. 
Our s/w never eats the biscuits or cakes, left them in the fridge last time when d/h had his individual day study and told him to just ask if she wanted anything. Hope you hear soon about assesment.

Pinky- glad hs going well hun

Cars- bet it is nerve wreaking, hope all goes ok for you x

Bokbabe- know how you feel hun and its only natural. Really glad you took your sis's 2nd pregnancy better, it really does help you to turn a courner going down the adoption route doesn't it.

Liveinhope- did you get your form sent off?

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Well, afm, appointment went well today. They are not going to operate, at leat not straight away. I'm going on a injection drug called zoladex for 6 months to put me in a temparory menopause to see if having a hysterectomy would actually help. At least it means i should be well for medicals and panel date and it won't mean having to halt the  adoption process. 

take care 

sweets x x x


----------



## Duckling

Just dropping in to say 'hi' to everyone.
Arrows - what weird dates, hope you both manage to sort time off for them
Sweets - so glad good news with app today x
Always An Auntie - glad home visit went well, hope app today goes well too.
Bee bee - so sorry to hear about ex-sister in law, really hope it doesn't happen - you are so important to those children
Panorama - hope you're ok - you did make me feel better talking about 'moments of sadness', I get them too and they're a mixture of a lot of things to do with not having a family yet, but hope you're feeling happier
Anjelissa - the Bohemian Rhapsody story was so funny, can just see my dh doing that and can't wait! Nemo is a lovely name.
Hi Carrie, glad your visit went well, totally agree with the relief you mentioned finishing ivf
Hi to everyone else too, and hope you're all ok.
We didn't get in on the November course - full up. But extra courses on in January. Asked if anything we could be doing in meantime, said read lots and practice with niece and nephew. Really disappointed at the time, having a family seems so far away, but know I have to be positive (it's hard sometimes isn't it?)
Love from Duckling xx


----------



## sweets x

Duckling- sending you a hug, is hard waiting isn't it. We just tried to plan little things to keep us occupied, played with nieces and nephews. January will be here before you know it x x x


----------



## Duckling

Aah thankyou Sweets, that's really kind. Good advice about treats. Am going to search for concert dates now. xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi everyone just popped on quickly to see how Sweets got on yeah pleased for you hun. I am very sore been poked in places and a way no one should be so feeling very sorry for myself, i have got to have another laparoscopy on the waiting list looking like in will be Jan so please please please girls      we get on the November prep course!

Hope your all ok I will catch up with you all soon xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Evening all,

Just a few personals from the last few pages...
I started to add a hello to everyone else, and list everyone's names at the end, I got to 20 names, and decided against it incase I miss out someone, lol!!!  I didn't realise there were quite so many of us here!! 

Duckling......Sorry to hear that you didn't get the Nov course.  
Like others have said, Jan will be here before you know it!.....It's nearly Christmas!!  
I'm a big believer in that the big things in live happen when they are supposed to. For example if we hadn't spent the time we did with our 3 negative IVF cycles, followed by a long break before embarking on adoption we wouldn't have our beautiful little boy now, as it would have been the wrong timing. This may be the case with your prep course. The delay may be for that very reason, ie/you are destined to be with a particular little one out there, and if you were on the Nov prep course it may be too soon 

Sweets......I'm really glad your appointment went well today and that you can go ahead with your assessment as planned  
I hope the drugs work wonders and you don't need an op' after all in the end.

Cars...... Lots of luck for the 14th, I hope the time doesn't drag too much for you. Not long now, and the end will be in sight! 

Liveinhope......Well done for finishing your form. It's a good feeling when they're done isn't it.  
They all take so long don't they!
I was hunting through our MANY folders for a piece of paperwork yesterday and was reminded just how much there was!  
I found that, however much a pain in the butt it was to do it all, each piece of completed assessment work, or form filled in, brought a lot of satisfaction. It felt like one step closer to meeting our little one.
I was the same re/decluttering etc, it just felt very proactive (or maybe it's just our nesting instinct!) lol 

Bokbabe......Congratulations for your sister.  Just think, your little ones could end up being similar ages, that'd be lovely.
I know what you mean re/relief about feeling different with the adoption process than IVF. It is so much more a positive experience, and although a lot of work and 'process', it's all so very worth it  

Pinky......Glad to hear your HS is progressing well. As I said to Duckling....the New Year will be here before you know it!  

AAA...... Lots of luck that you get your Prep Course date soon  

Carrie...... I'm glad your Initial Home Visit went well.  
In my LA they never have the same SW for IHV as HS as I think they want as many people as possible to see you. We were glad in the end, as the lady who carried out our IHV was SCARY  and our actual SW is so lovely. 

Lots of love to everyone, I hope you are all well,

Love Anj x x x


----------



## Anjelissa

AAA......Sorry our posts crossed. (I didn't realise you were at hospital as well today  )
Big  to you. 
I hope it eases up soon and you feel less sore.
Lots of chocolate, wine, and a nice bubbly bath I think should be prescribed  

Love Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj thanks hun, just seen your signature does that mean Nemo has a Birthday very soon??


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi AAA,
That's sweet of you to notice that    
Nemo was a little over 11 months when he moved in with us, so we have had his First Birthday already.   
We only had a little gathering of Grandma, Grandad, my best friend, and DH's sister (2 aunties) as we didn't want to overwhelm him.
He had LOADS of presents, a big First Birthday balloon (which he loves!) and a cake with a big '1' on. We all sang Happy Birthday and helped him blow the candle out.
We were so glad that he came to us in time for his First Birthday as it means he will always know that he has shared every Birthday with us    

I hope you're feeling a bit better today   

Lots of love Anj x x


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone!

Anj - how lovely, Nemo is a very lucky little boy!   

AAA - poor you, hope you're ok hun    Fingers crossed for the november course!

Duckling - yes feeling a bit more human now    I guess we wouldn't be human otherwise! Waiting is hard, we had to wait 9 months before starting but it will come sooner than you know it   

Sweets - that's good that they can treat you with drugs for now   

LIH - hope you hear back very soon!

Bokbabe - great that timing has worked out and good to hear you are feeling ok about your sister's baby. It is hard but yes, it is harder when you are going through IVF. At least we have an end in sight!   

Cars - not long now! How exciting!

Pinky - glad its going well!

Carrie - welcome, good luck! 

Right, I hope I've covered everyone!! Been busy and about to shoot off to Rainbows, no campfire songs tonight!    Feeling much better which is good cos first prep course on thursday!    Hope I don't get too emotional! We're going to be joining 5 other couples so looking forward to meeting other people going through the same thing. 

p xxxx


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone


Hope you are all well. Took the morning off work to do my adoption homework and get it all sorted. It was going so well until I got distracted on ********    then before I knew it, it was time for me to go to work.   


Sonia x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sonia whoops x

Panorama good luck with day 1 of the prep course

Anj thats lovely your little stories really make me smile    

Well I ended up coming home yesterday I was so so sore and kept getting stabbing pains going up and down my leg and inside it was truely horrible! I rang hubby and he picked me up then bless him he rang work and took an emergency day's holiday think he just fancied a day off. I was really tearful as I am really worried its gonna delay everything and he just smiled at me and said if its delayed silly its cause our little one hasn't been born yet and the delay will mean that somewhere it will be soon I just cried even more it was weird cause Anj had said the same thing on one of her posts how weird!! Maybe he is having a crafty read on his phone LOL not sure he was all him really I am so lucky.  Anyway i will shut up now LOL Have a good day everyone x


----------



## panorama

Morning everyone

AAA - hope you're feeling better    Hubby sounds lovely   '

Sonia - hope you got your homework done!   

Hope everyone else is ok, got a bit of a stinking cold but prep course went really well yesterday and quite enjoyed it     There were 4 other couples and one of them had sadly similar circumstances to us but we all got on ok and the social workers are just lovely    Very nice cake too!    Next one is a week today.

p xx


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone

Not much to report from me but wanted to say Hi to you all and wish you all a lovely weekend.  We are away from tomorrow morning until Sunday night as DH is working away on both days so we decided to make a weekend of it.  Probably our last break before Christmas  
Will be nice to go but still loads to do before we can go!

Lots of love to all
xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

AAA...... I hope you are feeling a little better now.  I truly believe what I said hun, I think your DH is totally right. 
I know it's not quite the same, but just as an example.....we had various personal things (some not so good) that came up in the beginning that delayed our application getting off the ground. We waited about 6 months after receiving the application before sending it in, for one reason or another, but it was 100% the right decision for us.
If these various things hadn't happened and we'd applied right away we probably wouldn't have Nemo now. It kind of all makes sense in the end.
You'll soon be in a place where you can look back and see that too 

Liveinhope..... Have a great weekend away. I hope the weather holds up, it's supposed to be lovely  

Panorama..... I'm glad to hear your prep course went well. It's lovely to meet up with people in the same situation and at exactly the same stage  
We are now good friends with 4 of the couples from our prep course and meet up regularly.
Only one other have been placed with their little one though so far and they live a little way away, so, so far it's been more of a couple-thing, we're all really looking forward to meeting up with all our new additions though. It is a huge help to have friends who totally understand everything  
Lots of luck for the 2nd bit, & I hope your cold gets better. I have just managed to shift mine after about 3 weeks!!! 

Sonia..... Naughty girl getting distracted on **, lol   
I can't talk though, I have lots of good intentions when Nemo is napping, and then often find myself on here or replying to emails (all still important things though!) 

Hi to everyone else and have a great weekend,

Luv Anj x x x


----------



## emma.b

Hi, been a while since I've posted. We're still awaiting our course which is for three days from the 30th Nov. Have read Dan Hughes in preparation! Sad book but really useful in understanding attachment theory. Has anyone else's DH had trouble doing their voluntary work? Our LA asks for this but DH is in the forces so his hours are irregular and sometimes he's away on exercise. Also, how long do they expect you to do it for? I've helped at Brownie's for two years so not a problem for me. DH may have the whole of Dec off work, do you think it would be enough if he went into our local school a couple of times a week until they break up for xmas? I'm worried they will think if he can't fit in doing that then how will he find time to be a Dad!

Thanks Emma.b x


----------



## paula37

Hi Everyone

It's been ages since i've been on so will have to catch up on where you all are when i get a minute.

Update on us.  We got approved 2nd August and have been matched to a little boy who will be 6 months next week.  We are meeting with his social worker next week so    praying everything will go to plan.  We've read his report and can't believe how perfect a match he is for us.  I just want him home now.

Take care 

P


----------



## Arrows

Paula, that's fantastic!!!!!!

talked to social worker and told the lengthy prep course won't have much impact as no social workers available to do home study till after Christmas anyhow!
Also said it'll take at least 8mths from start of study to panel so we'll see -not so impressed with that.
anyhow, was my b'day yesterday -now 27 and had a fantastic day!  Today I'm having some friends round for a pamper party and can't wait! Got 2 beauticians coming! Am cheating getting organised and have cleaners here, as a friends is seriously allergic to cats and using that and bad back as excuse not to clean myself. They're wonderful! Think I can convince hubby to let me have them back once a month? Ideas needed to convince!
love
Rachel


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Morning everyone hope you are all ok xx

Anj thanks hun you really do give me strength. Hope Nemo is keeping you busy xx

Paula    hope the next couple of weeks all go well and you will be a mummy soon yeah xx

Emma not long now then hun. I also a bit worried about hubby and voluntary work as he works a 2 wk shift pattern and don't know if anyone will be interested but we haven't really looked into yet. Hope he finds something soon, is there anything he could do via work 

Arrows pleased you had a good birthday, cleaners sound great sorry not sure how you could convince hubby xx

Well I have had my date for my operation it is the 22/12 so not gonna be a Happy Christmas but I just want it done and dusted and at least that way which ever prep course we get on the op won't mess it up yeah, just waiting to hear when our prep course will be now they were meeting on Friday to discuss us so should hopefully hear something soon.

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend x


----------



## bokbabe

Hi All
Hope everyone has had a good weekend and enjoyed the







I was speaking to my best/oldest friend, who is adopted, over the weekend and she said that she believes that her soul was always supposed to be with her (adopted) Mom and Dad but, because there was no physical way to do it, God found another way to get her there. She also said that her Mom is her Mom and her biological Mom was just the taxi to get her where she needed to go!! I LOVE that and I have already asked her to tell that to her future god child for me. How luck our little one will be, having someone close that understands it all from his/her actual point of view








 *AAA*, sorry that your op will be so close to Christmas







at least you'll get out of any of the stresses involved and be able to put your feet up and be pampered







You are right tho, the most important thing is that you'll be fine for both prep courses, still have my







for you to get onto the November one! DH sounds like a keeper  xx
 *Panorama*, glad that your first day of prep course went well, you are well on the way now... how exciting!!  
 *Anj,* I love that idea and completely agree with it! When our LA came back with the date for our prep course being Jan, when they initially said May, I wondered then if they had a little one in mind for us already  I may be  but it helps it get through the day(s)!  Happy belated birthday to Nemo  
 *Liveinhope*, hope you had a great weekend away in the sunshine!
 *Emma.b*, my DH works odd hours and commutes and so it is hard for him to volunteer too. Hopefully, if your DH does it whenever he can ie Dec, they will understand and see that he's tried his best!
 *Paula,* how very exciting, hope the time flies for you!
 *Arrows*,  for Friday, hope the papmer party went well!!
 Hope I haven't missed anyone,  if I have! Sorry for the dodgy layout, for some reason it was lumping it all together until I did the bullet points!!   We are off on our hols on Wednesday, can't wait to get "home" and see family, friends and my niece, she is 19 months now, so is getting big! I am armed with "what to expect when you're adopting" to leave with my parents, so they understand the procedure here. It's quite a good read and I am trying to get through it before we get there. I suppose 11 hours on the plane should do it  I won't be back on for 2 weeks or so, so I hope you all keep well!! Bok xx


----------



## molly777

Hello all

This is my first time on this tread, and I just want to wish you all the very best in your journeys.

I was wondering if there is anyone out there adpoting in Northern Ireland, We had though about surrogacy but after a lot of research have had to rule this out. I'm just trying to find out a bit of information and would be very greatful for any advice... thnaks

all the very best to you all for the future and i mean that from the bottom of my heart

hugs Molly


----------



## Tibevora

Hello

First post on this thread. We are half through our home study and it going faster than we ever expected. At the mo, we could go to panel in February....however we had hoped to do some work to our house and its likely not to start till in the new year and not be finished till Apr/May. The SW has said we are unable to complete the home study until she sees it and does a H and S check. Does this sound normal? We are now thinking about moving instead or perhaps not doing it all and making do for a few years and once we are official think of moving for more space then. We dont need the space for wee ones but would when they get big. 

Hello to Molly   

Bo have a fabby holiday, we go in four weeks hopefully for our last ever big holiday   

AAA Sorry to hear about your op date

Paula  What a fansastic outcome, 6 months......wow

Rachel - Enjoy your party

Hello to everyone else

Tibx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Ooh I just had a look at my profile stats and realised I haven't posted anything for over a month. Naughty me! We were away last week to re charge our batteries whilst carrying on with our home study. Had a week up in the highlands, gorgeous sunny weather although cold and beautiful scenery and lots of healthy fresh air, warming up with a whisky or two!!! 

Hopefully we may go to panel either end of december or begining of January depending on how well we get on with our homework. Should be doing some now really.    

Looks like lots has been going on on this board during my absence. i have to say I'm rubbish at personals so I will just say a big hello everyone. Love to all 

Mrs Dibbles


----------



## Cars

Hey All,

Tibevora- I know they have to do a H&S by law so if you don't really need the extra work just now and would prefer to go to panel quicker then maybe thats what you should do. We were in the same dilemna, house is fine for a wee one but will definately be moving to a bigger one in a couple of years.Good luck with whatever you decide    Really glad its going quick for you, ours has flown by, going to panel in three weeks    

Mrs Dibbles- Highlands are beautiful, glad you had a good break, sometimes its good to just take a break and chill out!!

Molly777-Welcome  , everyone is brilliant on here, we are all in the same boat so just ask if you have any questions     I am not sure if there is anyone from Northern ireland on here, maybe one of the others will be able to help??

Bokbabe- What a fantastic outlook your friend has on adoption, she must have had a fantastic family who brought her with a very positive attitude! Read the book you are giving family, its a really good read, theres another one that you can get from BAAF thats just for grandparents, its small but really useful    Have a great break xxx

AAA- Hope you here about your prep group soon, as soon as you get on that the time goes so fast after that    Take care of yourself xx

Arrow- Hope you had a fab birthday xxx

Paula- Congrats on getting matched, you must be over the moon     

Love to all of you

Cars


----------



## panorama

Hello everyone!

Cars - hope hs is going well

Mrs Dibbles, glad you had nice hols, not long to go now!

Tibevora - your name sounds familiar, must have seen you on another thread before!  We are aiming for feb too! I guess I would probably leave the work till after if it's not absolutely necessary but then again can sometimes take a while to be matched anyway so I guess best to go with gut instinct   

Molly - welcome to the thread, hope you find someone from NI soon, may be worth doing a seperate post as not all people read this thread, good luck!

Bok  -have a fab holiday! I love SA, have a brilliant time!

AAA - poor you with the op just before Xmas    But I guess best to get it out of the way and good it won't affect the prep course.

Arrows - hope you had a nice pamper party    It's annoying waiting but it does go relatively quickly, hang on in there!

Paula - what amazing news!!!!! And a very young baby too, how exciting!

Emma - my DH coaches cricket to young boys so he hasn't had a problem but yes its hard with shifts and harder for men in general. Perhaps he could just volunteer with cubs or scouts maybe on an ad hoc basis? And I'm sure if he did something in december that would really help.

Anj - hope Nemo is doing well   

LIH  -hope you had a nice weekend away!

Cold getting better but still been waking up coughing the last few nights, very annoying! Off to Rainbows soon, just bought a whole load of e-numbers for them for a party we are having! The parents will love me! Hee Hee!!   

p xxxx


----------



## galaxy girl

Molly - have replied to your PM!

Hope everyone is good. I feel sick...   but will hopefully feel better soon.


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just time for a few personals....

Paula......Congratulations on being approved and more congratulations on being matched! That's wonderful news!!!  and such a lovely age. I'm really looking forward to hearing all about your intros. 

AAA..... You're welcome hun, huge hugs  

Bokbabe..... Thanks for Nemo's Birthday wishes  Have a wonderful holiday!

Panorama.....I hope your cold is on the way out now. I had mine for 3-4weeks, so I sympathise  

Galaxy Girl..... I hope you feel better soon too 

Molly & tibevora..... Welcome to you both and lots of luck on your adoption journeys  
Hello to everyone else, I hope you're all well 

Nemo is doing well, although has been quite screamy on and off lately. DH thinks he's been a lot worse since his SW visited last. He's certainly very unsettled the day after she's been each time  .
It's ok when ours comes (we have SW visits every 2 weeks now, and sometimes its ours, sometimes Nemo's) as he obviously doesn't connect her with moving home. It makes sense that he's unsettled by his SW, as in his little mind he may think that her visit may mean he's going to a new home again, as he knew her before us. 
I'm sure he'll be fine, it's still only 5 weeks in, bless him.
He's settled so well all in all, I'm sure it just takes time.
We're just making sure we keep to a good routine so he feels safe and secure and that he's here to stay. 
We can't wait to go to court and be done with it all and have no more unsettling visits!!!!

Catch you all soon,

Love Anj x x


----------



## willswendy

Hi everyone

Havent been on here for a little while, and I am a newbie to the adoption boards        Just wanted to say hi, and look forward to getting to know you all xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Molly, Tibevora, Willswendy    welcome to the thread everyone on here is lovely x

Galaxy girl hope your sick feeling has passed hun x

Bok hope you have a lovely time gonna make a note of your friends thoughts might come in handy in a few years time it was so lovely xx

Anj hope Nemo settles soon hun it must be so hard for him and all so confusing sounds like lots of strong cuddles are in order for you both x  All this adoption stuff has got me thinking my sisters hubby left her and her little boy when my nephew was 18 mths old and when I think back to what he was like kinda realise that he just wasn't having the terrible 2's it was so much more poor little man wish i had known then what we do now. 

Hope everyone else is ok, bit brain dead at the moment have had a few days of really yukky belly it isn't a bug cause its not all the time and feel ok, kinda thinkng it might be the pills etc I am taking at the moment off to docs tonight to see if it could be something to do with it all. Think i need my own seat in the waiting room at the moment not good. Thank you for all your kind words re op I just want it done and dusted then I can stop spending my life in and out of docs!


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone

Am smiling   Came home from work to a letter from LA confirming we are invited to Open evening on 9 Dec! Yippee!


----------



## Anjelissa

Liveinhope.....that's brilliant news!    Now the fun begins!
It'll be 9th Dec before you know it!

Luv Anj x


----------



## Carrie D

Cars good luck tomorrow with the SW.  They're going over your Form F right?  I'm sure it will go brilliantly xx

Live in hope - congrats!  December is right around the corner.

AAA - hope you're feeling better soon 

Paula - congratulations!  Wow 6 months old...that's fantastic news - how exciting.  Can't wait to hear more.

Baby dust to everyone else!  Carrie D xx


----------



## Arrows

well, first prep course date is next week on tues which is very exciting, along with our 'getting together' anniversary on thurs- 5 yrs!
amongst all the excitement is a little sadness though as it's 12 days now till my due date was so wanting to to find some way of doing a memento to all the babies I've lost. At the minute I'm wondering about a bracelet or necklace but still thinking. don't want to do a tree as we'll probably be moving in next 5ish years. Ideas anyone?


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows hun big hugs sorry i can't come up with any ideas you will find something that you feel is right hun xx

LIH not long now until 9th Dec 

   we had a letter yesterday and we are on the November prep course can not believe it 15, 16, 24 and 25 Nov when hubby rang me I just wanted to run around and shout to the world i am gonna be a mummy! Filled in all our references and will be posting the form back today was really lovely ringing people last night and asking them to be our references everyone was really honoured that we had asked them so pleased I keep getting a silly little smile coming over my face    Right I have really gotta get by butt in gear I have been running around like a headless chicken this morning we have got the twins staying tonight will be the first time we have had little ones stay the night so excited. 

Have a good weekend everyone will catch up next week xx


----------



## liveinhope

Great news AAA - so pleased for you

Good luck Arrows for next week.

Anjelissa - hope Nemo continues to do well.

Love to everyone else

Hope you allhave lovely weekends planned.  Ours is another busy one!

Catch up soon

LIH xx


----------



## Cars

Hey everyone!

Its nearly the weekend   

Carrie D- Thanks for your wee message, yes met with agency manager yesterday, was sooo nervous! It went brilliant, she said she does not see any problems when we go to panel on the 4th so it was all good, even though I am more scared now than ever!! How are you getting on??    

AAA-Thats brilliant news on prep course, it will fly by!!   

Arrows, best of luck for prep, we really enjoyed it and you get to meet others that are in the same boat, you'll be great, 

Livinin hope- That great about open evening, the ball is rolling now   

Anjelissa- Hows nemo doing??

Willwendy- Welcome   

BeeBee- How are you doing??

Love to everyone xxx
Cars


----------



## Irishlady

Hi!

I haven't really posted much and am trying to get to grips with your names and stories! So sorry for no personals but wish you all the best in whatever stage you are at.   

I had my medical on Wed which went really well, and the GP couldn't see any probs which was great - I had posted that I was a bit concerned about it which is why sw wanted me to have it early on.

We are down to start prep in the new year but yet to get dates. I am trying to be patient but it is hard!! I just want to know when it will start as will have something to aim for.

We are heading to Oz and NZ for 3 weeks over Christmas though, so that is something fab to look forward to.  Hopefully our last big holiday with just the 2 of us   

Xx


----------



## vickie10

Hi, im a PA too    i love saying that! lol

we went to pannel in September and got a big yes.

had 1 failed match due to the childs social worker not doing her homework properly and finding out a family member lives right close by!!
got the 2nd match discustion on 22nd


----------



## willswendy

Thanks for the warm welcome xx

Wow its fab on here, everybody is at different stages of their journey, but we all know how each other feels    

I thought the training was great!  Very thought provoking and obviously sad at times   but its the start of an amazing adventure!

Liveinhope and always and auntie, congrats - it wont be long now   

Best wishes


----------



## paula37

Hi Everyone

Just a quick update as am shattered.  Met with little ones social worker and all is well.  They want to move forward quickly as as he's only 6 months they want to get home moved.  We are matching pannel 29th November with him coming home early/mid december....wow!!!

We have some lovely pictures of him and he is absolutely gorgeous. I love him so much already.

Take care everyone and all the best in your journeys.

P
x


----------



## ❣Audrey

Just a really quick pop in and say hi from me!  Sorry I haven't been around much - with trying to do my home study home work, my evenings are gone before I know it. Hopefully I will be back more soon.  Thinking of you all xxx


----------



## Cars

paula, that will be the best christmas present ever, so so so happy for u, dreams really do come true xxxxx


----------



## vickie10

paula37 said:


> Hi Everyone
> 
> Just a quick update as am shattered. Met with little ones social worker and all is well. They want to move forward quickly as as he's only 6 months they want to get home moved. We are matching pannel 29th November with him coming home early/mid december....wow!!!
> 
> We have some lovely pictures of him and he is absolutely gorgeous. I love him so much already.
> 
> Take care everyone and all the best in your journeys.
> 
> P
> x


WOW exciting times! Hopefully on Friday myself and my fella will be in the same exciting boat! (little ones social workers coming to visit)


----------



## willswendy

Awww Paula thats fantastic   

Bet you cant wait xxx

Good luck for Friday Vickie xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks willswendy

Vickie Good Luck for Friday xx

Paula hun that is amazing news I go all cold and excited when I read post like that it really is possible and really does happen       what an amazing Christmas you are gonna have


Bee take care hun xx


----------



## vickie10

thanks for the Luck, i just wish i could get excited about this one. too scared of being let down again


----------



## Mixy

Hello, I hope you all won't mind me barging in to ask a couple of questions? 

DH and I (31yo and 30yo) are debating starting the adoption process while we continue to TTC because (1) we are eager to start a family and we are aware that the adoption process can take a long time and (2) we don't want to adoption to feel like a last resort to us when all else fails; we'd rather it be a joyous thing standing on its own, and if we are successful in getting pregnant later on, then all the better.

We are still very much in the thinking stage though and I am hoping to get a little guidance from this wonderful, knowledgeable group.

My main questions right now are this:

(1) How do you go about finding/researching agencies?  Are there any highly recommended agencies?
(2) Should I sign up with an agency even though we are only in an exploratory phase or wait until we are more certain? Do you sign up with one or more than one? 
(3) How difficult is it to adopt as a mixed-race couple? (We are Caucasian and Indian (Muslim).)
(4) My husband is a British citizen but as I am American, I only have a 2-year settlement visa at the moment.  Do I need to wait for my ILR to start the process or is DH's status enough? 

I suspect because of our circumstances that international adoption may be the best route for us, but I'd love to hear feedback on this.  I've had a look at some of the links in the resource area, which were very helpful but there was so much information it was a little overwhelming to a complete newbie!!! 

I apologize again for intruding and appreciate any and all advice you are able to give. Good luck to each of you on finding your little ones!  

Thanks,
Mixy


----------



## Boggy

Hi Mixy, welcome to the Adoption and Fostering Board    


I'll try to briefly answer your questions while dinner cooks........!

1)  BAAF has a good website and a search facility to help you choose an agency.  Generally you can choose your local authority, a voluntary agency or an agency within 50 miles of your home.  

2)  I'm afraid no adoption agency will take you on while you are still pursing treatment, and many expect a 6 month gap between treatment and application to adopt.  Adoption is very draining and brings a whole rollercoaster of emotion so to do it while TTC would be very difficult.  It costs thousands to assess adopters, so agencies also like to be sure you aren't going to start the process then pull out. 

3)  There are other posters here who can answer this questions - but generally mixed race adopters are in high demand in most areas!  

4)  I'm really not sure about visa's etc, but would think that you probably do have to be a permanent resident first, and possibly for a set time after that.  AdoptionUK have a helpline that might be able to answer that one for you.

There are a lot of links in the resource area, so I know what you mean about being information overload!  I'd stick with this site, BAAF and AdoptionUK  as the best sources of info/support  

Bxx


----------



## Mixy

Thank you so much Boggy!  Shame they won't consider those who are undergoing or who have recently undergone treatment.  I sort of feel like doing both at once makes it easier to stomach a disappointment? Plus, it's likely that we adopt even if we are able to have kids the old fashioned way.  (We want three or four kids and I can't see going through fertility treatments that many times.) Anyway, it's very good to know the policy.  We definitely have a lot to think about and you've been very helpful!  

Mixy


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi Mixy and welcome   ,

Boggy has expertly answered your questions, and just to add my pennies worth I would add that in some cases, (as was our experience), (dependant on the LA or agency you go with), they may even want you to have a year between the last fertility treatment and starting the adoption process.
Also as Boggy has said, the whole adoption process is very draining and to be honest we found it much harder than fertility treatment in so many ways. (That said, we have found the adoption process to be a far more positive experience throughout).
There is no way though that I would have wanted to deal with the 2 sets of very different emotions and stresses at once.
Just my opinion, but as someone (as with many people here) who has experienced both, I would definitely recommend against it (even if there was an agency who would accept it).

Lots and lots of luck with whichever decision you make   
There are a lot of very lovely people on here with a huge variety of experiences and knowledge so you are in the right place   

Love Anj x x


----------



## Mixy

Thank you so much for your well-considered advice and the warm welcome, Anj 

...and congrats on your new addition!


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Sorry have been away so long, where is time going, was sure it wasn't that long since i posted lol

Welcome Molly, Tibevora, Willswendy and Mixy- wishing you all lots of luck with your journey.

Anj- Hope nemo is settling again hun. 

Vickie- hope everything goes well this time x x

Always- How are you feeling now hunny, read back and your pains are simular to mine (leg pain etc...) Its hard not too worry how it will effect things isn't it hun. Am feeling more positive that my endo will not effect our outcome now, hope you can soon feel the same. Sending you massive hugs hunny. Hope op brings some relief for you x x x

Paula- woo hoo for matching panel already, good luck 

Cars- good luck with panel x xArrows- hope prep group went well

Hi boggy, liveinhope, bee bee and anyone else i have missed.

We had medicals yesterday and my doc says that she can't see any reason why we won't get the all clear to go ahead with adoption, woo hoo, what a relief. She said my endo was a life condition and as its being treated i'm living with it. She did say i'm on the verge of being underweight and dh is a bit fat lol, i thought that was really funny. So i'm now having an ice cream so i don't loose anymore, well thats my excuse. 
Have another half day individual study next monday. Getting giddy again now, seems things are falling into place again.

Take care 

sweets x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Mixy Good Luck with which ever journey you decide to take. I seem to remember when we started our IVF journey we were asked if we'd thought about adoption when we said yes were we told they wouldn't like us to be doing both at the same time. I am sure it was something like that anyway. We had to wait 6 mths after our last IVF before we could start our adoption journey.

Sweets Glad its all going well. I am kinda hoping the pain stays away for 4 days in Novemeber when we are at the prep course then I don't care I know I will feel better once I have had my op just want it done now but those 9 wks will fly past.

Anj Hope you are all ok? Don't suppose you have a court date yet do you? But really hope you don't have to wait too long x

Hope everyone is ok x


----------



## Arrows

Hi all, not posted in ages but mainly cause not a lot been going on.
Yesterday was our for prep course session and was a little disappointed as it repeated a lot of the same activities and information on the info day but nevertheless it was good to get started. Lots of negatives and positives discussed for adoption and looked at child development and how lack of anything at one stage affects all the other stages. 4 bits of homework to do as next session isn't till 17th Nov.

Adoption is definitely for us, each session confirms it more and is helping us to make decisions on the kind of children we'd like to take on.


Mixy, no idea how your visa will affect things -although probably just means you have to pay for each cycle -look into it. Although in America you can in many States apply for adoption at the same time as treatment, in the UK there is absolutely no chance. In some places they'll ask you to wait at least 6mths from the end of any treatment till applying, however a lot will ask you to wait a year after the end of treatment. Adoption is very hard and expensive (for the local authorities) process and it is for your own sake they maske you wait.
We first applied in June and now just had our first preparation course session of three. Next week is my due date from the babies I lost in my final treatment. It is not easy and in these circumstances when so much is happening at once it becomes very clear why things need to be done one at a time. Good luck for the future.


----------



## panorama

Morning!

Arrows - glad your 1st prep went well, great to get going! Hope next week is ok for you, due dates always hard    

AAA - great you got on the November course!!   

Sweets - glad medical went well, carry on eating icecream then, lucky girl!   

Mixy - welcome and good luck! I think things definitely work differently over here, we had to wait 12 months since last tx. But I guess you may be eligible to adopt in the US? Definitely may be easier to adopt a baby over there? 

Vickie - good luck for friday!! Nail biting!   

Paula - so many congrats!! Definitely a lovely Xmas ahead for you   

Hello to everyone else! Hope you're all well, lots happening on here!   

Well we finished our prep yesterday! Now arranged 4 more visits for next month and december and the last couple will be early january and panel set for Feb 7th!    Which is really not far away! It is actually 2 days after Alex's anniversary so am taking it as a sign we are finally going to move on!   

Have my 9 year old niece staying with us this week so quite busy, taking her to the west end tomorrow to see Legally Blonde, yay! 

p xxxxxxx


----------



## Mixy

Sweets - Thanks for the welcome.  I'm glad to see your journey is progressing forward.  Congrats 

Always an Auntie - Thanks for your reply.  Seems DH and I will have to rethink our plan!  

Arrows - Yes, we will be paying everything out-of-pocket due to my immigration status.  Fair enough, really.  I think you're right that things are done differently in the US; it hadn't even occurred to me that there would be 'cooling off' periods here.  As both DH and I are resident here in the UK, I imagine it would be difficult to adopt via the US (though DH does have a green card)?  Does anyone on the board have experience with that?  Hope the prep gets less repetitive     

Panorama - Thanks for the welcome!  That's food for thought, adopting via the US  Not sure how it would work (would we need to move back there?) or if it's easier, but I should look into it.  The holidays will keep you busy and distracted and before you know it, Feb 7th will be here.  Congrats!  Enjoy time with the niece.  My niece is 8 and when she visited from the US in August, we took her to Wicked.  She had a blast!!!

I will be away from the thread for a week or so as I'm back to the US to attend a wedding of a dear friend.  If anyone replies with further advice, I promise I'll be back on to read and reply, but I apologize for any delay in doing so   I'm still curious about whether you sign up for multiple agencies at one or just one at a time?  

Thanks again ladies!

Mixy


----------



## Boggy

Hi Mixy


Just wanted to quickly answer your question before you go offline - you can only apply to 1 agency at a time.  


Enjoy the wedding!
Bx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Just popping on to say a big congrats to paula             very exciting news. 

Also very best of luck to vickie on friday   

No more news this end. Another day off work today so more endless homework!!!

Mrs D xx


----------



## Mixy

Boggy - Thank you!    I suspected as much (for the same reasons as the 'no tx' rule), but thought it was worth confirming.  Makes it all the more important to pick the right agency, no?


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows pleased day one is done and dusted another step nearer hun xx Sending lots of hugs for next week I can not imagine how very hard it must be for you so just gonna send a hug xx         

Panorama wow it is all going soooooooooooooo quickly are you with VA or LA?? I am sure you have said before but I have a very forgetful head x

Mixy hope you have a lovely time at the wedding x

Its almost the weekend yeah xx


----------



## ❣Audrey

Quickly stopping by to say hello!!!  Hope everyone is good xxx


----------



## Anjelissa

Evening all,

Arrows.....I'm glad your prep course has started off well  
At least one good thing about it being quite spread out is that you have quite a bit of time to do the homework. 

AAA.... I bet you're counting down the days until your prep course!  Not long now.
Re/court date, unfortunately no date as yet. We can apply to the courts mid November, but realistically we don't think it will be until Jan/Feb.
We have another review at the end of Dec (luckily we have discovered that maybe Nemo doesn't actually have to be there, they will confirm that soon. If so, Grandma & Grandad will have him for an hour or so).
Apparently our SW visits will then hopefully go down to once a month until our court date (they are every 2 weeks atm, which comes around really quickly!)
I hope all's good with you hun 

Hi everyone else, I hope everyone's well  . Sorry I don't have much time for many personals atm.

Nemo is doing really well, luckily he didn't react too badly to his SW visit yesterday (up until now he has been really screamy the day after she visits). Hopefully he now realises that her visits don't mean that he is going anywhere, bless him.
He had some booster injections today and he was a brave little man, but screamed the surgery down for about 60 seconds after, then gave the nurse the funniest evil looks!!!
I'm not surprised though, the needle was HUGE, poor little man  
He's fine now though. I got a bit choked when she did it, I think it upset me and Daddy more than him, lol.

Have a good evening everyone, catch you soon,

Love Anj x x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Anj big hugs to you all I have heard those needles are enourmous. My SIL tried to get me to go with her once to get nephew done when he was a baby UM I DON'T THINK so I did give her a cuddle when I met her later and she was still crying! Pleased Nemo is happy again and hope you can manage to make alternative arrangements for the next visit.    that you can get a court date really soon hun will be lovely for you all. I am looking forward to doing the prep course it feels real now this is happening   

Bee will be thinking about you tomorrow sure it will be just fine   

Vickie Good Luck tomorrow x


----------



## vickie10

Thank You AAA, we have got our 1001 questions to ask haha

to be honest im not sure if it sounds daft asking how many teeth baby has and what clothes size etc, but im curious. at 10 months old i think its hard to know what to ask when you know they are meeting all of their milestones, and everything else is in the report.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Vickie aw bless ya thats sweet wanting to know how many teeth little one has! Is little one a boy or a girl??

Well everyone I am in total shock tonight social services have already contacted our references!!! We really didn't think they would do it so soon!  I only posted the details back at the end of last week. My poor SIL came in to work to let me know she had had a letter I looked at her blankly and said letter about what?!?


----------



## vickie10

its a little girl, our SW will be here in about 45 mins! im getting nervous now haha

i was shocked at how fast they do bits too, once they get that ball rolling they really do like to keep it on the move  
If your SW is anything like ours, then you will have the best ever!! our SW calls us her little babies bless her lol

The chat today is at 1pm!   some good luck please!!!


----------



## panorama

Vickie - how exciting!!! Hope it goes well!!    

AAA  -yes our references got there very quick too, nice to get moving!

Anj - hope Nemo has recovered from the injections, poor little mite   

Bee - glad you're doing well!   

Mixy - have fun on hols!

Well my niece is being good as gold as usual, not sure what parents are ever on about     Bet it will be different when they're ours!    Legally Blonde was excellent, she had a great time. Trying to catch up on some work while CBBC is on!

p xx


----------



## thespouses

Hi Mixy, I can answer some of the visa/international questions, if your husband is a UK citizen then they should assess both of you here either for adoption from the UK or from another country. I gather many of the children available for adoption in the UK who are of South Asian origin are Muslim, don't know how that would stand with you though as a mixed-race couple, don't know if they'd consider you for a child who is fully South Asian.

There are very few children of South Asian origin available for adoption from the US though you can adopt from the US and still live in the UK, and there are some "brown" children available (either African-American/Caucasian mix as they call it there, or Hispanic with/without Caucasian mix).  You can also still adopt from India living in the UK. Adoption from overseas is pretty expensive (We never had any expensive treatment so we are using our "treatment money" to adopt from overseas!)


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Vickie how did it go? how sweet of your social worker she sounds lovely 

Panorama pleased your niece is being lovely. I know what you mean about parents we both said the same thing after we'd had the twins last weekend but god how those boys changed when we got them home they are only 2 but we having a full on fight at one point, we didn't have any of that they were little angels for us LOL.

Have a good weekend everyone xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone

sorry I've been awol for a bit, we've been on a few holidays & been playing the waiting game but have found out our new agency we approached a neighbouring LA hope to start our homestudy next month so looks like we may finally be making some progress, although I dont think I will believe it until sw in in our house starting it off will have read back over the weekend to see how everyone is xxx


----------



## vickie10

Hi, well today seemed to go well, but we have to wait untill Monday to hear an answer!

The child sounds delightfull and is a little cutie and has a cheeky face developing  

But not getting our hopes up incase we get a big smack in the mouth again. Just fingers crossed for Monday now


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Vickie will be keeping everything crossed for you for Monday x

Rachel really pleased things are starting to move roll on the first visit x


----------



## vickie10

Rachel78 said:


> Hi everyone
> 
> sorry I've been awol for a bit, we've been on a few holidays & been playing the waiting game but have found out our new agency we approached a neighbouring LA hope to start our homestudy next month so looks like we may finally be making some progress, although I dont think I will believe it until sw in in our house starting it off will have read back over the weekend to see how everyone is xxx


glad theres some action going on  best of luck xx


----------



## willswendy

Have a lovely Sunday everyone, we are thinking of making a start on some painting!!


Keeping everything crossed for tomorrow Vickie    xxx


----------



## vickie10

willswendy said:


> Have a lovely Sunday everyone, we are thinking of making a start on some painting!!
> 
> Keeping everything crossed for tomorrow Vickie  xxx


Thanks, ive been ok all day but tonight im feeling ever so slightly nervous! but keeping the frame of mind that its a no untill they say its a yes


----------



## Cars

vickie the very best of luck tomorrow xxx


----------



## sweets x

just a quickie to say good luck to vickie x x


----------



## liveinhope

Good luck tomorrow Vickie. Let us know how you get on
xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

good luck today vickie    that its a yes x


----------



## vickie10

thanks! ive got a few little butterflies this morning! im hoping they dont leave us hanging for too long, my DH has gone to work and waiting for me to call him.


----------



## panorama

Good luck Vickie!! Everything crossed!


----------



## vickie10

DECEMBER PANEL!!!!


----------



## panorama

Brilliant news!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!


----------



## Irishlady

Fab news Vickie


----------



## vickie10

i cant stop smiling lol!!

DH is all excited now too!! i wanted to cry but now im ok! ive just rang my parents, i could hear the excitment but they kept very calm hahaha

adoption social worker is arranging a meeting for us to meet the foster carers and a medical advisor before pannel. i wish they would send me a pic though, but im guessing they wont do that untill we have been to pannel


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Sorry I don't post as regularly now, it's hard to find the time, but I do try to keep up to date on all your news 

I just wanted to say...
Vickie..... HUGE Congratulations!!  Your panel date will be here before you know it!
December is only around the corner!  
We weren't allowed to have a picture until the match had been approved at panel, although we'd been allowed to see a few photos when we met his SW.
It's frustrating I know, as you just want to look at them all the time!
It wont be long though now 

Hi everyone else, hope you're all well,

Love Anj x x


----------



## vickie10

Thanks everyone, we have seen a few pics of her, but it would be nice to have 1 to look at up untill we get her home.

What happens at the matching pannel? is it as scary as the approval pannel?


----------



## Cars

big congratulations Vicki


----------



## liveinhope

Great news Vickie.  Well done! What a christmas present!


----------



## popsi

vickie...huge congratulations honey... to be honest I would ask about a photo we got one the day after the decided to take us to panel which was 6 weeks before panel...our SW's felt it helped bonding ! and it did we looked at out little 9 month old baby girl constantly and it was wonderful xxx

love and luck to you all xx


----------



## vickie10

ive just e-mailed our social worker and asked if we can have a pic.  but on a bum note today it sounds like the element in the oven has gone, everytime i try to turn it on all sockets go! grrrrr its only 5 months old.


----------



## sweets x

Vickie- thats brilliank. X


----------



## emma.b

Congratulations Vickie, can't wait to be at the stage you're at.

Thanks for all the advice about DH's voluntary work. Luckily he has a week off before the prep course so he is going to the local family centre then. SW said that's fine and that he should write a diary of his time there and get them to give some feedback. Only a month to go til the PREP course. Can't wait to get on to the home study. Anyone any idea the average time from starting home-study to going to panel and how many visits the home study involves? 

Emma x


----------



## Arrows

Emma B, different LAs give different timescales -some say 6mths a fair few say 8-9mths. My mum who is an adoption social worker says it can be done in 4mths but very unlikely.
So I'd assume around 6-8mths.
We have been warned on our prep course that it takes roughly 40wks to take a child through to adoption once they enter care, so unlikely to get a child under 9mths. They said on average the youngest would be a child around 12-18mths.


----------



## emma.b

Arrows, thanks for your response. Our LA said 8 months but wasn't sure if that was from PREP course or start of home study. We're hoping to adopt siblings under school age. Fingers crossed we may be looking at panel next summer.


----------



## galaxy girl

Vickie - brilliant news! like others I can't wait to be in your position!!

home study going well so far.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Vickie thats fab news so pleased for you xx

Emma B we were told at our initial home visit it would be 6-8mths from that point we will see LOL

Hope everyone is ok, i have a headache tonight but just wanted to pop on and see how Vickie had got on x


----------



## Arrows

Emma and AAA, we were told 8mths from starting home study so each LA is different!
In my Mum's area they do CRB, medicals, Initial visits and filling out big full application form before they do prep course but in ours (West Berks) they do CRBs and prep around the same time and not allowed to do big application form or medicals till after the prep course.

I have a very busy day planned -looking after my Godchildren 11, 8 and 5 and have a friend and her 4yr old and 18mth old coming over too. Then later this afternoon spending time with a single, child-free friend so hopefully fun.

Today is also my due date and not sure what I'm feeling -life is so busy and keeps going so as much as I may want to dwell and mope, I'm not convinced that's the kind of mood I'm in. We're never going to forget about our lost ones as they're part of who we are and our journey towards meeting our adopted children -the children of our hearts we are destined to be parents for.
If you feel you would like to, please join me in remembering my lost littles.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=248290.0


----------



## vickie10

im looking forward to hearing everyone else getting to our stage. i feel like November and December are going to be a long 2 months though.

i can not wait to meet our DD   cant wait for that first hug too, waiting for that will feel like forever.


----------



## panorama

Morning everyone!

Vickie - do you think you will meet her before Xmas? How exciting for you!! 

Arrows - hope your day is not too bad. Sending you   

Emma - we are doing prep and hs at the same time and all should take about 6 months - we have 8 hs visits in total but i think it varies.

Next hs is next week, have my individual interview, which given how much me and the SW talk may take a while!!!   

p xxxx


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

Huge congratulations Vickie. So pleased for you.    I'm sure November and December will go very quickly now. Can't wait until we are in the same position. 

Emmab, we started our prep course in May, home study started in July and we are hoping to go to panel either Dec or Jan. I have to say, amazingly it has gone by very quickly.

Hope everyone else ok

must get ready for work now.

Mrs D


----------



## vickie10

panorama said:


> Morning everyone!
> 
> Vickie - do you think you will meet her before Xmas? How exciting for you!!


Hi, they said they are wanting to start introductions after Xmas, but i think we get to meet her foster carers before Xmas. im guessing it will be in January


----------



## Belliboo

Hi everyone 

Vickie thats fantastic news bet you can't wait to meet your little girl !!!

Arrows sending   for today know it will be a tough one

hope everyone else is ok too xxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows hope yesterday wasn't too busy and you found time for you.   

Vickie hope the next couple of months don't drag too much xx

Bee are you still there x

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## Mixy

Always an Auntie - Thanks for the well wishes.  It was a lovely wedding and an overall excellent trip.  I'm glad the process is moving quickly and I hope your headache has improved!

Panorama - Thanks to you too!  You mean you don't want to watch CBBC? 

Anj - These early moments with Nemo must be so amazing!

Thespouses - Thanks for your reply! I'm concerned about what sort of babies we'd be eligible to adopt here. I wouldn't think babies of our racial combination up for adoption are common, so I would hope that we wouldn't be last in line for adopting single race babies of each of our respective races? If that's the case, then we'll be really, really hard to match.  I wonder if adopting from India would be worth looking into.  What sort of costs are we talking about? Do you know if there a good source of information for looking into Indian adoptions specifically?  My husband has OCI status in India which might help.  Where are you adopting from, if you don't mind me asking?

Vickie10 - Congrats on your good news!

Arrows - I hope yesterday was not too painful for you and that you are able to find some peace with all that's happened.



Hello to everyone else   As the adoption process is very new to me (and there are many of you to get to know), I hope you don't mind if I lurk a bit, at least until DH and I have a little more direction in what we want to do!

mixy


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Pleased you had a good time Mixy happy lurkingxx


----------



## Duckling

Hi everyone,
Hope you are all ok. Haven't posted for a bit. Just a quick message to keep in touch.
Vickie - massive congratulations! Wonderful news!
Arrows hope you're ok, a tough week for you.x
Anjelissa love your thinking about timing being because of the little one we're destined to have.
Have had our medicals and handed them in, and our CRB forms. Had a chat with one of the social workers when we did that which was good. Think I must be a really impatient person though because fed up with waiting - especially as I've a little girl in my class whose mother I taught!
Anyway thinking of you all, Duckling x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi Duckling all good things come to those who wait!!!!!!!!!! LOL  Says she who apparently doesn't do waiting either its driving me mad just so glad we got on the Nov prep and not Feb I think i would have officially gone    if we'd had to wait till then. Hope its all go from now on hun xx


----------



## Belliboo

Just a quickie as off to work now but just wanted to let you know its adoption week on this morning next week!!


----------



## Duckling

Thanks AAA, you cheered me up to know I'm not the only loopy one!  
Thanks Rachel, will tape for the week, hope it's good.
Duckling X


----------



## paula37

Hi Everyone

Congratulations Vickie your on the same road as me.

Ask them for pictures to keep.  We've got 4 and i've framed them and got at home and at work.

We meet little ones foster carers on Monday so can't wait to find out more about him.  Finish work 4 weeks today and meet him 5 weeks today 3rd December.....can't wait.

Have a good weekend all.

P


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Paula thats really lovely how special will Christmas be in your house this year.

Our LA have got a lot of adoption stuff going on next wk just read an article in the paper and it states they now get the majority of people through the process in 12 mths yeah hope we do! Will record this morning and see if there is anything interesting on there.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

We have had a letter we have been allocated a social worker whoop whoop so excited its says we might hear from here before we attend the prep course depending on her work commitments hope shes nice. I have been jumping around laughing and crying how soft am I


----------



## liveinhope

Hi all

Sorry I havent posted for a while. Am off work sick today  .  Have just watched some of This Morning's coverage of adoption week and sobbed all the way through.  I put it down to being under the weather and the fact AF due  .

The lady from BAAF said it should take 8 months to get to approval panel, but we were quoted a year! Guess it depends on your LA.

Hope everyone doing OK.

Lots of love

xx


----------



## Cars

Hi All,

Living in Hope- Lots of hugs,hope you are feeling better soon xx

AAA- BRILLIANT NEWS!!  

Paula37- Bet you cant wait for next few weeks to fly by, please keep us posted, it gives us all hope xx

Well we have the adoption panel on Thursday, fingers crossed we will be approved, will you all say     for me and DH XX Thank You

Love to everyone xxx


----------



## Kestra

Hi,

Can I please join you? I have just had my 3rd and final IVF which started off as a BFP but has just been confirmed it is all over me. 

After my 2nd BFN we had a home visit from our LA to see if adoption was to be our next step but after a positive and informative meeting I felt I had one last go in me as everything I had read lead me to believe it takes on average 3 IVF attempts to work - which it did for me for a short time - and wanted to enter the adoption process when I/we knew we were truly ready and not thinking 'what if'. It was left with the LA I would contact them to let them know what happend as the SW who visited us also wanted to hear if it was positive - she was a lovely lady who was very supportive. 

I know that I will have to wait 6 months before I will be considered for a prep course and hope that there will be one in Spring 2011.

I suppose now I am trying to get as organised as possible for our next step and try and keep myself busy over the next few months and book in as many things as possible to take my mind off things!!

Looking forward to 'getting to know' you all

Love Kestra x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Kestra hi hun so sorry it ended that way for you. You will get loads of support on here everyone is really lovely and at different stages x

Cars I will    for you and    for hubby and      that you get a big YES hun xx

LIH hope you are feeling a bit better soon hun, missed this morning hubby forgot to record it for me bless him never mind.   

Hope everyone else is ok xxx


----------



## Belliboo

Hi kestra sorry to hear your sad news   , welcome to the thread 

cars good luck for thursday

hope everyone else is ok 

have got this morning recorded waiting to watch so looking forward to watching that too !!!


----------



## Belliboo

yippee we have finally got a social worker first home study visit 19th November !!!!


----------



## Kestra

Rach - Fab news about your SW! I am so pleased that you are finally on your journey after waiting so so long! 

I know it is soon but I called the SW who came to visit us in August to put us back on the waiting list as now knowing it is Adoption and fostering week I did not want to get 'lost' in the all requests they may get in the following days/weeks as people think about adoption. My SW was away so I spoke to another lady who mentioned that Wirral council have now changed their procedure and no longer start with a home visit but an information evening - like Liverpool - but will speak to her manager and see where we will fit into the new system! I am also hoping that they may have reduced their time between IVF and starting. I do know and understand why they want the time for us to grieve and accept but I am not very good at waiting but I suppose it is something I will have to get used to!!

Cars - Fingers crossed for everything on Thursday x 

Hello to everyone else and hopefully I get to know where everyone else is up to v soon

Love Kestra x x


----------



## panorama

Evening all   

Waiting for DH to come home, his flight from scotland was cancelled and then delayed so he should hopefully be back soon!

Kestra - everything crossed for you! Yes the waiting is just so hard, we had to wait 9 months, pure torture at times! But once you get going it is quite quick really!

Rachel - yay!! Great news!

AAA - fabby news for you too!! Yay! 

Cars - hope panel goes well on thurs, I'm sure you will sail through! 

LIH - we were quoted 6-8 months and if it goes through in feb it will be about 5 months really! Our sw seems to be super busy at the moment matching couples as apparently lots of kids coming through the system at the moment.

Paula - not long now then! Bet you must be so excited about Xmas!   

Duckling - hope wait isn't too long, I like the saying 'good things come to those who wait'!! Although with some of us it is taking it to the limit! 

Mixy - glad you had a nice time away, you lurk all you want    I lurked for ages!

Vickie - will be an amzing start to 2011 for you!    I am willing the end of the year to come too, bring on 2011!

Hello to everyone else! 

My hs this week been postponed to next week as sw busy with matching couples (a good sign   ) so have two next week one with dh and one on my own. Been reading a book lately 'Building the Bonds of Attachment' which is heavy going but interesting, some of the things kids have to deal with.... just so sad. Definitely makes you feel humble about your own problems   

But happy it's november as going on holiday 4 weeks today, can't wait as was postponed because of the stupid ash cloud! 

Night everyone!

p xx


----------



## vickie10

Hey ladies! ive not posted in a while, its been nice looking and catching up on the news! 

Big welcome to those of you who have had your 1st couple of posts in here 

This morning we got pics of our baby girl through the post! It makes her seem that little more real, and on the 10th we get to meet her foster carers. 
We have been slightly naughty and painted her bedroom because we got a little over excited and we dont go to pannel untill 6th Dec. Couldnt stop ourselves!!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Vickie bless ya bet that was amazing opening that letter and seeing your little one looking back at you. xx

Rachel yeah so pleased for you roll on the 19th for you hun xx

Panaroma hope hubby wasn't too late home, gonna be a very busy week for you next week then hun xx

Kestra hope you hear some news soon and they can fit you in some where xx

Cars just in case i don't get on in the morning GOOD LUCK tomorrow


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just popping in to see how you all are.
I'm really sorry that I don't really have time for personals anymore, it's even harder to keep up with everyone now that there's been quite a few newcomers recently.
Just as I try to read back and do some personals, Nemo wakes from his nap, so I may have to admit defeat I'm afraid, as there's so many of us in this thread now!
It's lovely to catch up though and read how everyone is progressing   

Nemo is doing really well, he's been with us 2 months now! Where has that time gone!   

Lots of luck to all those with important stages coming up as there are quite a few of you.  

Sorry again for lack of personals   

Love Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

ANJ we all understand hun its just lovely to hear Nemo tales and that all is going well where have those 2 months gone can't believe it hope you get your court date soon hun xx

Cars Hope today has gone well hun and you are very   

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## Anjelissa

Awwww thank you AAA    , you are always so lovely x

Cars....I hope it went well today  .
I'm sure it did and you're out celebrating!   

Love Anj x

PS....just noticed....my ticker is very odd.......1 month 4 weeks??.........that's 2 months in my book!...what's that all about!?    lol


----------



## Cars

hi all, we got approved today at panel,  we are so delighted, thank u for all ur good wishes x


----------



## panorama

Excellent news Cars!    

Wow, Anj the 2 months has gone by quick!


----------



## galaxy girl

Congrats Cars!

Well our SW is putting us forward for Jan panel!!!! Very excited


----------



## Arrows

Cars that's fantastic! Great news!


----------



## liveinhope

well done Cars great news  

Wow Galaxy, that was quick!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Cars I am so pleased for you I tried to post from my phone last night but couldn't see what I was typing and it was all a bit of a muddle LOL. I hope your matching wait isn't a long one xx

Galaxy Girl yeah how exciting xx

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend we are off for a long weekend away can't wait, we are going with mum and dad relative visiting but will still be nice to be away hubby needs a bit of a break bless him he has been taking his mum to the hosptial everyday (2hr round trip) for the last 2 wks for radiotherapy and working shifts as well don't think he knew what was left and right the other day so I am trying to be quiet this morning.


----------



## likesabath

Hello ladies,

I wondered if I could join you? 

Me and my DH have been through the mill a bit but 8 weeks ago we decided that adoption is the way forward - I've seen lots on tv this week about it and it just keeps making me more sure that this is the right decision for us. We have our information evening on 16th November which isn't far away but I just can't wait - it feels great that something is happening at last!

Anyway, I know Cars from the Glasgow thread and am so pleased that she got approved yesterday - I was thinking of you!

I feel a bit lost, cos I can't seem to find much info so I might be calling on all your help!

lots of love

Sarah


----------



## Cars

thank you all so much for your best wishes, we are so thrilled x                likesabath welcome! Anything we can help with just ask x glad u joined this thread, everyone is so supportive on here xxx


----------



## vickie10

excelent news!!


----------



## Arrows

my cat is missing. :-(


----------



## vickie10

Arrows said:


> my cat is missing. :-(


 what area? how long as cat been missing?


----------



## paula37

Hi Vickie

Mine doesn't like fireworks and if we don't keep him in he takes off for a while. We've also had him locked in the neighbours garage before now so that might be worth checking.

P


----------



## paula37

Sorry Vickie i should have said Arrows


----------



## Arrows

She's back. Disappeared for 10hrs in the end and normally only goes out for 5-30mins at most -a lazy cat!
She's a bit anxious but seems fine.
Rachel


----------



## Carrie D

Congratulations Cars!!!!  What was the age group you were approved for?  Fingers crossed that you and DH have a short wait for your family to find you.

Likes a bath...Welcome!  That's 3 of us from the Glasgow thread now 

Not much going on on my end, just waiting on SW to get us on the official path.  Will email her again today.

Carrie D x


----------



## Cars

Hi All,

Carrie d - we were approved for 1-2 wee ones between 0-4 years of age. We are so excited!! Hope you get hold of SW, when do you start prep group?

Arrows- glad your cat is back

BeeBee- How are you doing?

Hello to everyone


----------



## Anjelissa

Just a quick one to say...

Cars..........Huge Congratulations to you!   I hope you have a really short wait to be matched with your little one/s x

Arrows......I'm so glad your cat returned safe and sound, our little fur-baby (or actually rather large fur-baby) is truly our baby, alongside Nemo, and I would be heartbroken and beside myself if she went missing, so big  to you hun x

Hi to everyone else, hope you are well 

I've just called the courts re/applying to adopt Nemo, as we can officially apply next week  
I imagine it will be quite a wait for the actual court date, but at least we can get the ball rolling.

Have a good week everyone,

Love Anj x x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows pleased your cat is back it must have been a very long wait for you hun xx

Anj I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you hun that there is a court date very soon and Nemo can officially be yours and hubby's very very soon xx   

Likes a bath welcome to the thread hun everyone on here is lovely and really really helpful, not long until the 16th we will be on day 2 of our 4 day prep course by then yeah can't wait x

Hope everyone is ok and had a good weekend xxx


----------



## Arrows

You're lucky AAA that you get to do your prep course  so close together!
We were given 19th Oct, 17th Nov, 3rd Dec for our prep course so waiting for our second session next week.
It's all come around again very quickly though since the last one! We were given loads of homework too so given us a chance to get it done in amongst all the assignments I'm trying to get done. There are 4 assignments for the first part of the course and now 3 down and one due in on Thurs!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows, yeah we were pleased they were all in the space of 2 wks especially with my op in December, not really sure what to expect, I had kinda thought we would have had some stuff to do before hand but haven't had anything so far, I keep reading the letter in case we have missed something LOL.


----------



## chocolatefudge

Hello ladies,
This is the first time I have posted on this thread, though I often post on the TTC over 40s board and the thread for my home town clinic.
I rang my local authority, Wiltshire, to enquire about DH and me being considered as adopters, to be told that I could only make enquiries 12 months after my final fertility treatment. I understood the lady's reasoning, though I didn't agree with it in my case, and I wondered whether any of you know of any local authorities or VA groups who would be prepared to consider us sooner than that?
chocolatefudge


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone 

Chocolatefudge (love the name   ) - I have pm'd you!

Just a quickie as am quite busy   , our hs got postponed till next week as sw ill but have 2 sessions next week now so still on track hopefully. 

Love to all!

p xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Choc fudge hi and welcome to the thread. We are using a LA (no where near you mind) and we only had to wait 6 mths after our failed IVF attempt I am sure it was a year if miscarrage or loss were the reasons. Have you looked at the BAAF website I am sure I heard there is a link on there for all agencies and things near to you. Hope that helps hun

Panorama pleased you will still be on track gonna be a busy week next week for you x

4 more sleeps until we start our prep course yeah xx


----------



## vickie10

Hi, i cant remember all names, but best of luck, ive read your posts since my last post and i do keep up with whats happening i just am rubbish with names and i dont fancy quoting every post lol
Just wanted to let you all know that i am reading and thinking of you all 

We had foster carers visit on Wednesday, it went well, we asked tonnes of questions (shocked them actually haha) and they left us with 5 new pics of our soon to be daughter!
matching pannel is deffonatly 6th December


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Aw Vickie thats lovely soon be here xx


----------



## Cars

hi all,  got a real shock on friday, sw emailed to say that she may have a possible link for us, two little girls age 2 and 4, sw has not seen their form e so said she is unsure at this stage whether its a right match for us. She knows that all through hs we expressed that we want younger child/children so we are both unsure if we want to even see their form e, only because we are scared that we will fall in love and that will be that! So monday our sw is getting back to us with more details and then we will see what happens from there, my heart is saying that i should stick to my origanal feelings of wanting younger baby toddler age but we are both just so confused now and a wee bit shocked at how quick this has happened, any thoughts ??


----------



## panorama

Wow Cars! How amazing, hope it works out! I guess you just have to have a look at their profiles before you can decide, follow your heart! 2 and 4 is not too old really especially if you can get some time before the older one goes to school. So hard to know what to go for isn't it? Good luck!    

Vickie - bet you've spent all weekend looking at the photos! Not long now!   

AAA - hope prep course goes well this week! 

Arrows - wow your assignments sound like a lot of work, what are you working towards then?

Anj - hope the court date doesn't take too long!

Carrie - hope you hear back soon

likesabath - welcome! Good luck!

Galaxy girl - great news about jan panel! Don't know about you but I want Xmas out of the way now so we can get to feb panel!! 

I think I may have caught up with most people but hello to everyone I've missed!

DH out doing a course today so have the house to myself, was going to go xmas shopping but weather is not great and can't be bothered to deal with all the shoppers, maybe internet shopping instead! I've been feeling a little   , I guess Xmas is still not my fave time of the year, so so hoping next year will be different tho!     But I really can't be bothered with all the fuss and getting presents really. A bit of a waste of time and money as far as I'm concerned! But thankfully we are going on holiday in 2 weeks time to somewhere warm so looking forward to recharging the batteries   . 

Got my individual interview tomorrow so a little nervous I may be feeling a little emotional, I'm sure I'll pull it off though. Don't particularly like talking about my mum really so hope it's not too bad!

Take care everyone!

p xx


----------



## eknowles

hi everyone 
can i join you on this thread please.
i have been pn before in june but was waiting to go on prep course so haven't really been on much since then.  we had completed our prep course in september and are having our 1st hs visit on tuesday with sw.  not met this sw yet so a little anxious/ excitied.  not really sure what to expec.
will try and get to grips with who everyone is and their stories so far.  you all seem a chatty bunch so look forward to getting to know you all 
em xx


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## Moppit

Dear Lovely Ladies

I havent posted for a while but have been following all your journeys with interest and silently welcoming all the new posters to the board.

Well some news from me.... we have been linked with a little boy aged 18 months! We had the matching interview just over 2 weeks ago and then waited anxiously for news until Thursday when our Social Worker called to say that we had been selected as the right parents for 'poppet'. We are totally over the moon. We have seen a video and he is utterly gorgeous, a perfect little boy and everything we could ever have dreamed of. We should go to panel on the 14th of December and then if all goes well we should bring him home in early January. 

We first heard about poppet in June and I had almost given up hope that anything would move forward but it just shows you that you should never say never....

All of you ladies who are waiting or just starting out, keep dreaming because one day your dreams will come true.

I know we still have a little way to go but for now I am daring to dream and believe that our long and painful journey to be parents might soon be over.

Love to you all

Moppit x


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## panorama

Moppit - fantastic news!!!     2011 is going to be a great year!   

em - hope your sw is lovely, hope hs goes well!

My individual session went well today and SW hinted she doesn't think it will take too long after feb panel to be matched!    

p xx


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## jayb

Moppit that is great news. Thank you for letting us know. Poppit sounds lovely.

We are just waiting for our report from SW Panel is the first panel In January. Starting to get excited although I know we have panel first but most of the paperwork is over. Started HS in July.

I am not able to get on here much but this site has been truely amazing to me in the past and I wish everyone well. It finally feels that we will be parents one day.

Lots of love 

Jaybxx


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## Cars

Moppit-         that is such brilliant news, so delighted for you xxx

Panorama-not long till panel, hope the time goes quick for you xx

Eknowles- Welcome    

Well my DH and I have contacted our SW to say that we will not be going further with the two little girls that our SW suggested, its been a difficult decision but the right one for us, I feel a bit guilty though but pray that they get matched with their forever family soon.

Love to everyone xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Moppit Congratulations hun roll on 2011 yeah what a fab year its gonna be xx

Cars    hun that must have been really really hard for you both but you need to stick with your heart I am sure their mummy and daddy are just round the corner as is you right match xx

This is just a quick post from me today. It has been a long hard couple of days but also really exciting I was so tired last night but didn't manage a whole lot of sleep! Shame we have got to go back to work today could really do with a day off just to get everything sorted out indoors think we might be having the twins for the weekend! Will be back later to catch up as long as I can keep my eyes open when I get home xx


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## vickie10

Morning ladies!! Just catching up with your progress

Carrs what a hard choice to make, but our SW told us not to worry if we thought a link was wrong anywhere, luckily for us that didnt happen.

We have 5 new pics of our DD! Really want wait to get Pannel out the way now and meet her in early January


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## Moppit

Vickie, lucky you on the photos. We were shown a video of poppet at the interview but don't have any photos. I will ask the SW for one when we go to panel I think.

So many of us heading for panel in early December. I believe it is you, Oceania, myself and Curvy Cats. Good to have some buddies along the way!

Trying not to count the days until the 14th of December but its difficult. I have told my boss at work and she has now gone into over drive in terms of trying to organise handover and wants me to go to the US for 2 weeks between now and Dec 14th which is the last thing I feel like doing and can't help feel that its tempting fate as we won't know for sure that I'm even leaving work until the 14th.... only plus point is that baby things are cheaper in dollars!

Mx


----------



## vickie10

our date is the 6th December. It must be frustrating for bosses not knowing propper dates!
ive told mine that im guessing it will be the start of January as SW's said inductions will start after christmas. I know shes dredding it if i tell her i need to finnish before christmas but i will try and hold on as its doable to hold on as we have already painted DD's bedroom so thats the big job over with 

OUUUU We are so excited!! and it is nice that theres a few of us


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## Arrows

Hiya guys -I swear I replied last night but not here today so maybe not!

Cars, a hard choice to make but well done on making it. Hugs

Huge congrats Vicki and Moppit on your good news -I hope the time speeds by just enough to allow you to get everything ready but not stress and worry too much! Moppit -not ideal a work situation if you're trying to get everything ready but I guess it's getting a balance with your work relationship-wise.

AFM, we had our 2nd prep day today and lots to take in -got to hear from a birth mother, adoptee and adopters all in one day and it was helpful.

2.5wks till our final prep date on 3rd Dec, then we can submit a formal application to adopt.


----------



## bokbabe

Hi Girls

I know I haven't been on for a while now, since our hols in fact, so I thought I'd pop on and catch up.

Our plans have changed slightly, as an opportunity to do something that we were planning to do before deciding to adopt has arisen and that was moving to South Africa. We were going to adopt once we got there. We had our house on the market for nearly a year and nothing happened, so we rethought and decided to adopt here instead and we took the house off the market back in April. Then, the day after we got back from our hol in SA, our estate agent rang and said that he had an ideal person for our house, could he show her the details of our house. The only reason we even agreed to it was because we were fresh off the plane, not thinking straight, head full of memories of sunshine, blue sky, family and friends. So, when she asked for a viewing, we agreed, not thinking that it would amount to anything.... after all, none of the other viewings had amounted to anything! This one did, however and she offered us a sensible price (esp in this market), that we couldn't really refuse   

Our over all decision to take the offer and make the move, comes from a long chat we had with my friend that is adopted and her mom, who was a SW and has plenty of contacts still at the adoption home that she used to work at. With that sort of support, plus my entire family being over there and the amazing childhood that I had in SA, we would love to give all of that to our future child!

So, to close, I will be leaving the thread, but popping on now and again to check up on everyones progress. Best of luck to you all and thank you for your support during my time on here.

Bok xx


----------



## vickie10

Arrows- i loved loved LOVED the prep course! If i was asked to do it again i would jump at the chance. It was very upsetting on 1 day though. Enjoy, you will be in my shoes waiting to go to matching pannel in no time at all 

Bokbabe- sometimes life chooses paths for us hey! What an amazing move you are going to have! Wish you the best of luck


----------



## Belliboo

bobok good luck with your move to south africa sounds exciting

arrows glad your enjoying prep groups 

vicki & moppit congratulations & great news on your little ones!!

cars that must have been a hard decision but you have to go with your heart I agree

we finally started our homestudy yesterday & we have got homework to do already so just doing it now as shes coming again week on tuesday !!!

hope everyone else is ok too xx


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## Moppit

Afternoon Lovely Adoption Ladies...

Just had a call from our SW to say that the panel will now be delayed until the 21st of December. Just a week's delay but frustrating and can't help thinking that there is a strong chance they'll delay again with it being Christmas week!

Our SW has said it shoudlnt delay introductions too much so still have fingers crossed for meeting the little man in early January if all goes well.

Cars - My heart goes out to you. We are lucky enough to have only seen one profile of Poppet and luckily it was the right one. I know it must be so, so hard to turn down a child but definately the right decision.

Arrows - How are your prep groups going this week?

Bobok - Lucky you moving back to SA. Its such a beautiful country

Vicki, Curvy Cats Oceania - How is your wait for panel going?

Mx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone sorry was AWOL last wk was mad week. The first 2 days of our prep course were great really hard going on the 2nd day and neither of us have ever been so drained in a weird sort of way! But both buzzing with it all and still are a week on can't wait until Wed and Thurs this wk! I have spoken to our SW she is coming to see us on the 14 th Dec      can't believe this is all starting and going so quickly hope it carries on like this! 

Moppett sorry it has been delayed will be keeping everything crossed that it isn't delayed again and you get to meet lo in Jan xx

Bok I am sure I posted reply the other morning but isn't there weird. How fab hun so pleased for you sounds like your future is all gonna be amazing xx

Vickie bet you are cheerishing those lovely photos xx

Arrows hope the next bit of your prep course comes round quickly hunx

Have a lovely week everyone catch up soon xxx


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## Arrows

Feeling exactly the same as you AAA -very drained and a lot to take in but also very excited about it all.


Today bought incredibly bad news -one of my DH's best friends had died unexpectedly through a tragic accident.
Both feeling very upset and quite numb. I believe there will be a postmortem and no idea when the funeral will be -as selfish as it may be I'm hoping desperately that it won't be on the 3rd Dec as that's our final prep date and given all the delays already I don't want any more.


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## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Sorry have been awol for so long. Been busy with homework, poorly and just never had time to come on.

Will try and catch up with where you all are. 

Moppit-Congratulations on being linked, thats wonderful.  sorry panel was delayed hunny. Hopefully you'll be ok for the 21st and have a fab xmas.

Always- Glad your enjoying prep group, it is draining but so rewarding at same time isn't it.

Racheal- yeah!! one step closer with starting homestudy. 

Bok- best of luck with the move x

P-  glad homestudy is going well 

Cars- must of been hard decision hun, Hope you and the 2 little girls find their forever family very soon.

Arrows-    How awful for you both. Sending you hugs x x

Hi to anyone i have missed. 

Well, we have now finished homestudy   
Feels good to be getting on with it all, but bit sad at same time    Kinda got used to our s/w coming round and having chats. Just waiting now for the 4th feb. We have our life story book to do, and a book for panel so they can see our house. We are starting to do the 2 bedrooms too. Just have to be as neautral as poss as we haven't stated whether we would like boys or girls. 

Take care    

Sweets x x


----------



## Arrows

The funeral is on the 3rd but I called the SW's and they've said it's okay. They're going to call us after the funeral.

Spent a lot of today in tears but made it through work. Hoping tomorrow is easier.


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## panorama

Just a quick one to send a    to Arrows, so sorry for you both, how very sad   

Sweets - is your panel on 4th Feb then? Ours is 7th Feb, we need to do our rooms too! Start january! But our sw says we don't need to do our book till we are matched as they don't need it for panel, they aim it to the kids you are matched to. I guess everyone does it differently!

Sorry for no more personals, really busy and off on hols next week, yay!

p xxxx


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## Mrs Dibbles

Hey all, its good to see so many have got exciting news with matching panels coming up.

We have finally finished our PARS now and we are going to panel on 9th december. Excited and nervous all at the same time.  
Just trying to occupy my time until then with sorting out the house and Christmas shopping!!! We have decided we are not buying anything for the little ones room until we are official / post panel. Very tempting though.

Sorry to hear of your tragic news Arrows, its truely awful.    

Speak soon, 

positive thoughts and love to those on thier journeys to becoming mummies and daddies. 

Mrs D


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,
I just wanted to say hi   
I still pop in from time to time to see how everyone is getting on, I'm so sorry, I just don't have the time to keep up with everyone now with personals, but am thinking of you all    x

Nemo is doing great and is full of beans!.... Exhausting!!   
We are now able to apply to court to legally adopt him as he's been with us over 2 and a half months, and we've handed all the paperwork in.
It's unlikely we will get a court date until Feb at the earliest though.

Lots and lots of luck to you all with your various stages of the process   

Lots of love Anj x


----------



## sweets x

Evening all

Arrows     Hope today was more bearable hunny x 

P- Yeah! Panel is the 4th. We have to do a book for panel, just one with a pic of us, then the house and kids bedrooms,  and a life story book. Just have to start with the life story book. Can't do too much really as don't know what were being matched with. 

Mrs Dibbles- Roll on the 9th, will soon be here. Its hard to resist buying isn't it but feel quite apprehensive if you do.

Anj- Time is flying isn't it, 2 and a half months already. Really glad all is going well.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Arrows massive hugs to you and your hubby I am so sorry for you both must be really hard. Pleased your SW is ok about things and hope they give you some positive news when they ring back hun.        

Sweets great news roll on Feb 

Anj really pleased for you will keep fingers crossed that you get a date soon its lovely to hear Nemo is doing well xx

Just a quickie as I should be getting ready to go it took us ages to get there yesterday so leaving earlier today! Hoping we have a bit more energy today that after day 2 last week as feel like having a nice meal out after course!


----------



## sonia7

Hi everyone


Hope you are all okay


We have finished home study - yipee. The social worker is now writing a report about us which I have mixed emotions about as it this report that will decide to panel whether we can be a mummy and daddy.


The extension is coming along, so looking forward to having central heating. What a luxury for me, I have always lived in cold houses. I love my warmth. I swear we will save money by having central heating as I have always got the electric fire on and those halogen heaters on that guzzle money. We got snow this morning.    It is so cold.


Not long now until our panel date which I am dreading, its like having a big interview (I hate interviews) it will either be on the 10th January 2011 or 24th January 2011 depending on how busy they are on the 10th. I know one thing that may go against us is our weight. We went away for the weekend for my birthday last week to the lake district and had quite a lot of food so much so I have put over half a stone on in weight. According to the adoption doctor we were already overweight - whoops. But I do tend to eat more foods in the winter as it is so cold. (yep i know my excuse) Plus the fact everything is so tempting.    I can't be doing like my work colleague with  her how many points in that food type.    I just eat it.  


Anyway hope everyone is well


Sonia x


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## libby29

Well we've started our prep course and just love it, love it, love it!  Its been so nice to meet other couples that know just how we feel and have been on similiar journey's. Its hard to hear how some of these poor little loves have been treated but makes us all the more sure that this is truly want we want. These kiddies need strong parents that dont take having kids for granted and can cope with what ever life throws at them and we all know that anyone who experiences infertility and has come out the other side can tick all those boxes.
Big hello's to everyone and hope your all well, I'll write and tell you how the whole course went when we've finished


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Sonia yipee and roll on getting that central heating switched on! I am sure they would have told you before now if your weight was gonna be an issue it would be really harsh for you to get to panel and them through that at you! I am dreading our panel as well and we haven't started home study yet!! I hate anything like that even my in year chats with 2 managers freak me out LOL think I will be buying lots of calms and rescue!

Libby good luck with the rest of your prep course we finished ours on Thursday! It really is lovely to meet other people in the same boat!


----------



## Belliboo

good luck to everyone going to panel soon moppit, vicki, curvy cat, oceania, sweets, mrs dibbles

angelissa sound like you little one has settled in very well ejnoy your first christmas together, bet it will be magical

arrows & libby hope you enjoyed your prep groups

sonia7, sweets & panorama 2011 sounds like its going to be a good year, january & february will be here before we know it

Well things are moving well in our adoption journey we've had couple of home visits another one next week, I've had my medical DP got his in a week, crbs sent of,f so its all go. Good news is social worker said assessment normally takes about 8 months but she wants to do ours in half that time







so we are delighted.

anyway hope everyone else is ok too will catch up again soon xx


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## vickie10

Hi everyone, just checking in with the ups and downs. sad news and good news going on in here i see.

Our matching pannel date has been pospond due to the weather!      gutted!! It was ment to be on Monday too 

They are hoping to do an emergency pannel before christmas but for now we have to sit and wait and hope this snow melts FAST!

Good Luck to everyone x


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Vickie oh no hun thats awful hope it all melts soon and they can do a panel before Christmas I can't imagine how gutted you must have been. xx

Rachel woo how amazing certainly is all go xx

Hope everyone is ok! 9 more sleeps until we meet our social worker! Yeah can't wait! Then our medicals are 2 days after that!


----------



## liveinhope

Hi everyone

Hope you are all doing OK in the snow.  It is starting to melt here and I am about to drive my car to the supermarket, first time I've driven since Tuesday.

Vickie - so sorry to hear about delay to matching panel    Really hope it can be rearranged soon.

I am eagerly anticipating Thursday as its the first proper step on the adoption journey - initial open evening.  Just want to get going now!

Celebrated my 35th birthday this week, and have said that by my 40th our family should be with us.  Please God!!

Lots of love to all

xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps

Always- not long till for you hun, you getting excited    We brought loads of munchies etc... for our 1st visit and she never ate any    I was munching them lol.

Arrows- hope your doing ok hunny x x

Sonia- Glad things are coming along nicely for you. Our s/w is writing our report. Feel a little nervous about it too even though she seems to really like us. Sure yours will be fine 

Libby- Glad your enjoying prep group

Racheal- Glad home studies going well. Good that your s/w is speeding things up too. They can do it quicker depending on there workload can't they. Our homestudy last 2 month and we had a 3wk break in that where we didin't see s/w.

Vickie- Thats awful hun, seems so unfair for you. Really hope they get you in again before christmas   

Liveinhope- Hope open evening goes well. Is exciting getting on this rollercoaster isn't it.

Hi to everyone else and hope your all ok

Just waiting our end for the s/w report. She messaged us to say she'd been working on it all week.    Excited but nervous at same time. Wanna read what she thinks about us.
Also, had a little wobble with the blues again. Thought i'd be over it now so has hit me hard. Being on these stupid hormones probably doesn't help.

Take care 

sweets x x x


----------



## Duckling

Hi,
Just wanted to say hello to everyone as I haven't been on in a while. 
Lots of exciting news I see!
Arrows so sorry to hear your sad news. x 
Good luck to everyone waiting. 
We have had confirmation that our first course is on 20th January, so things will start moving for us soon. Any tips gratefully received. Trying not to get too excited and nervous as I know it's still a long journey - but can't help daydreaming of what it might be like one day!
Sweets hope the wobbles are better  - know what you mean. 
Good Luck again to everyone (Vickie hope your snow melts soon, what a massive pain), love from Duckling x


----------



## galaxy girl

Hi all!

I also wanted to check in. Vickie - that is so disapointing - I thought it was bad for us that our SW has not been able to do our last home visit (should have been last week) and visits to two of our referees have been cancelled too. Bu that is nothing to a matching panel cancellation - hope its re scheduled very soon. this weather sucks. took me an hour and a half to get home tonight and DH is still not home!


----------



## Demelza

Ladies may I join you, and ask your advice?

Like many of us, we've had a hard IVF journey. I had my third miscarriage last Christmas. We thought that would be it and very soon afterwards I started part time work with the reception class at my local primary, been volunteering at a toddlers' group - the usual stuff to prepare for adoption. 

We have done our mourning and in many ways are ready to adopt, but we've also since found out a surgeon who did an exploratory op four years ago somehow missed I had a seriously malformed uterus which then caused the miscarriages. That's been put right, and we want to have a last go at IVF on the basis of if it works, it's a  wonderful and unexpected bonus, if not, we're in the right head space to apply for adoption. We've been accepting the fact we are unlikely to have a baby for a long time.The trouble is there's a long queue even for the initial 'look see' evening - the next one is in May in our area. We expect to have our last donor egg cycle early in the New Year. 

Although the online info says they do not accept applications if you are going through IVF (understandaby), is it OK to register interest so be allocated a space on the May course, have the IVF and then go to the information evening if it doesn't work. That's not a formal application, is it?

I don't want to be sneaky - I just want what is going on to reflect our state of mind, and like everyone else, just get on with things. I'm just about to turn 46 (Gah!) so time is of the essence if we are to stand any chance of having a youngish child.

Any thoughts/ experiences gratefully received.

We're in the Cotswolds - in the sticks and far from most adoption 'centres'. Gloucestershire seems a bit of a mess (I know they are one of the slowest counties in the country for resolving care cases for starters). Anywhere close to reccommend also gratefully accepted.

Just having a quick look through your posts (though so sorry about the poxy cancellations) I feel encouraged already!

Take care

Demelza


----------



## Arrows

hi guys -welcome to the board new people.
Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts, it's been much appreciated.
Nothing much to report the last few weeks -we had the funeral on 3rd Dec which would have been our final prep course day. It's been rearranged now that we join people on the next course 2nd Feb however the SW told us we can start filling out our full application form -then forgot to ask her to send it to us!


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

hi everyone

Sweets I am sure your report will be fine hun but I imagine it must be really nerve wracking!

Lih Enjoy your info evening its great x

Arrows pleased its all still go we are on a behaviour managment course on the 3rd weird how our dates are all close. Hope she sends the form anyway hun xx

Demelza difficult one hun but as you say it is only the information session. We had to fill in a form afterwards and on there is asked for the dates of our IVF we were also a bit sneaky as we were literally at the 6 mths the wk before our home visit! It was the first question she asked so was obviously something they wanted to check on! Good Luck with everything. Sorry can't help with your area but think there is something on the BAAF site.

GG hope all your visits get sorted soon and there is no delays for you xx

AFM not much going on just got loads and loads of housework to do before Tuesday think Sunday is gonna be a busy day


----------



## Demelza

HI AAA (and boy do I know what the 'always an auntie' bit feels like. No more godchildren!)

Thanks for your advice. How did you manage to have the home visit just a week after the 6 month wait? And how did you respond to the forms asking about the IVF at the information evening? I'm worried it will all come out anyway if they check stuff with our GP, which I assume they will. 

Well done for getting past it - do tell me the clever stuff!

Demelzax


----------



## Mrs Dibbles

We just got back from panel today and we have now been officially approved!!!!!! Off out for a meal tonight to celebrate. The best Christmas present ever, I can't stop smiling.


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations Mrs Dibbles. The best Christmas present ever!


----------



## Tarango

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Dibbles 
xxxx


----------



## eknowles

hi eveyone 
congrats mrs dibbles what a fantastic xmas present enjoy your meal you deserve it
well we had our second home visit today. all seems to be going well more homework to do and then another visit next week.  all seems to be going well although did have a moment of worry.  she was asking about our support network and we said we saw most weekly and my parents about 4 times a week (only for a few minutes some times) she said we would need to look at how this would change when a child came along!! now im worrying they think we wont have enough time to spend with them... silly i know we have a close support network which is a good thing surely!!!!
anyway will carry on with the next of my homework its like being at school again ha ha 
em xx


----------



## galaxy girl

Brilliant news Mrs Dibbles!!

We have heard our panel may be put back to Feb. nightmare - have leave booked off and everything.


----------



## liveinhope

Back from our initial adoption evening and it went really well.  Next step is a visit from a social worker and 1st part of prep course is 16th Feb, provided we are selected.  They were suggesting we could be at panel for approval in a year!

Have tomorrow off to do some Christmas shopping

Lots of love to all


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Mrs Dibbles yeah    hope you are still smiling hun its fab news hope there is a match waiting for you very very soon xx

Damelza we made initial enquires early April our IVF ended in March they told hubby we would have to get back to them in 6 mths. Then with the info we received in the post was the dates of the info evenings so we sent the slip back for the end of Aug. On the form we were given to complete they asked for the dates of our IVF treatment I was totally honest with dates etc but when they came to see us in Sept we were literally a wk past the 6 mth date! Bit crafty on our behalf but we were past the 6 mths! 

LIH roll on this time next year then hun xx

Galaxy girl oh hun thats pants so sorry for you! I can hear hubby in my head saying its cause your little one isn't ready yet for its new mummy and daddy! When I moan about the waiting (not that we have had any really) it is what he says to me hope it helps you hun like it has me! 

Eknowles they seem really keen on seeing how we think things are gonna be different with a child in our lives, it was part of our prep course! As you say surely having such a fab support network is what counts! Family understand if things change they would if we'd had babies as well! Good luck with all the homework guess I will be joining you soon with it all!

Have lovely weekends everyone xx


----------



## Arrows

we had our last IVF in Feb and applied in June and they were fine with that -had info day in July and initial home visit in August. They said as long as it was 6mth before we really got started with prep course and home study it was ok -we just made it clear, without going over the top, that we were done withthat part of our lives and had grieved properly but were ready to move on.


----------



## Demelza

Thanks AAA and Arrows. There seem to be such different approaches - some agencies seem adamant about a year, and one told me that they couldn't treat people as individuals because everyone would want special consideration.

Are you both applying through your local authorities, or are you using other agencies? We are very much in the sticks and more than 50 miles from most main centres outside our county, so we don't seem to have much choice.

Good luck to everyone and congratulations to Mrs Dibbles

Demelza


----------



## Arrows

Demelza, we are applying through a LA but not our local one, as I work in education we didn't think it right to use our local.
You're right about them all being different though!


----------



## skyblu

Hi Demelza,

I phoned my la social services on Thursday just to see if I could apply for adoption when I had my last m/c in July and my last IVF tx in September.
She said that everyone is different on grieving and they would be happier if you had some sort of counseling.
She was not against us applying.
We had originally applied in March, thinking we had finished with ivf but after a couple days we realised we were not ready.
As we had an application form from March the sw told me to send it in and after Christmas she will make an appointment to come and see us!!!

She said that their next training days wont be happening until April 2011 so if all goes well and thinks that we are ready we can apply for training in April and by then my 6 months will be up anyway!!! Result!!

Sorry for rambling,but what I'm trying to say is that every la is different and it all depends if they think that you are ready to adopt mentally and done all your grieving.
Give your la a ring, just to see what they think is best for you at this time.
I'm glad I did.

Take care and good luck
Skyblu


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps   

Mrs Dibbles- congratulations hunny   

Duckling- how are you hun x

Demelza- I rang up 5 months after our ivf and signed up to go on open evening a month later, this meant that we were also just past 6 month stage. We'd also had counseling at fertility clinic after m/c and tx so don't know if that helped. Good luck 

Liveinhope- glad open evening went well, roll on feb 

Eknowles, always and arrows- hope your ok

skyblu- posted you on endo board but just wanted to say well done on phoning la up   
bet your excited about things now aren't you. 
Have you got to have some counseling?? I had mine at fertility clinic, anyone is entitled to so many sessions for free there, they just don't always tell you. Roll on first visit

Hope eveyone else is doing ok.

S/w popped in to see me at work other day, our report is finished and being handed in to her supervisor tomorrow, so, we'll get to see it in a bout a week. 
Also, mentioned to her how nervous i am about panel and she reassured me not to worry and we'll be fine. Easier said than done though isn't it as such an important thing.

Take care 

sweets x x


----------



## Demelza

Hi all

And thanks to Skyblu, Sweets & Arrows for helpful stuff. Really glad you succeeded in jumping your hurdles as early as you could. We've had a bit of counselling too through different clinics - and saw a huge difference in the quality of the counsellors. (If anyone is in London the Lister counsellor is brilliant - and saw us without charge three years after we had a cycle there!).

And Skyblu - you weren't rambling at all. Sometimes it's the details that helps.

Hugs at Christmas to everyone - not the best time of year to be childless. Feeling particularly tender as my last miscarriage was on Christmas Day last year. Unto us a son is not born...

Excuse my inner Eyeore.....

Demelzaxx


----------



## libby29

Delmeza,
Oh i'm so sorry....... Christmas is soooo hard for us girls and guys on here but for you it must be truly awful. The only thing that gets me through is that i try to make the best of what i have on that day and that is an amazing husband, family and friends. Lots of people dont even have that. I know it hurts but i cross my fingers that we all on here get the future that we crave. Hugs to everyone xxxx


----------



## Demelza

Thank you Libby,

And I've just been asked to be Angel Gabriel at the school play tomorrow - keep calm and carry on!

I see your medical is tomorrow - best of luck with it, and let us know how it goes. What do they do to you? Will I have to hunt out my running (or in my case shuffling) shoes again?

Demelza
x


----------



## libby29

Hi Demelza 
School play ay....EEK lol        You do just great hunny!
Yep medicals tomorrow, got to say i am very nervous. Dont really know what they do but will definatly tell you all about it once i've recovered he he. Going to go and buy a fancy pair of big knickers tomorrow to cover my orange peel bum so not to scare the doc! God help me lol. xxxxx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Hi everyone.

Libby LOL we have our medicals on Thursday so be kind when you post whats happened i need my sleep at the moment and don't want loads of nightmares on Wed night   

Demezla sorry for delay been a mad weekend! Yeah we are using our LA 

Well we had first home study today was great very intense weird feeling really but our SW is lovely and she got hubby's sense of humour phew! We have got enough childcare experience so are pleased about that! We have got a bit of homework to do, gonna try and get it done at the weekend as I will probably not be up to much after my op! Our next visit is 4 Jan, then the following wk hubby has his attachment study mine is the wk after, behaviour management course 3 Feb and then another homestudy the wk after that but can't rememeber the date dah! It is all very exciting she didn't want to commit to a panel date but said it would be around June but could well be earlier yeah! 

Hope everyone is ok xx


----------



## Demelza

Hi AAA

And lots of luck for the medical for you too. Thanks for making me laugh re big pants - I needed it. After so many years of IVF I just drop mine for anyone instinctively - a bit embarrassing when all they want to do is give you a flu jab!

Dx


----------



## libby29

Ha ha so true, i know how you feel. I said to hubby i'd be less nervous if it was a "down stairs job" lol. 
A.A.A i promise i won't write the scary stuff  
xxx


----------



## libby29

Well had our medicals and we are officially "healthy", yay to us lol lol
Really not to bad at all, just the usual stuff. Don't know why i was so nervous really.
Well its done know so onto next stage. Start home study next week and can't wait  xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Libby yeah pleased it wasn't too bad not sure we will be classed as healthly with me suffering with my endo at the moment we have both become  couch potatoes and eating rubbish to go with it. I can't wait for this time next wk cause fingers crossed my op will all be over and done with and then in the new year we can get active again yeah! Good luck with the homestudy hun.

AFM thought I would make a start with the chronology part of our homework tonight! i don't seem to remember anything significant from my child hood whoops think I might have to do it when I see mum and dad LOL. Poor hubby is really gonna struggle cause his mum can't even remember his date of birth bless her don't known for her memory and the chemo she has had this year has just about finished it off good job we can all laugh about it!


----------



## galaxy girl

Always an auntie - very exciting about you home study starting! 

We had our last visit tonight. still don't know if panel is hapening in jan or feb... will enjoy christmas and wait and see.


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Galaxy Girl yeah have a fab Christmas hun and    that your panel is sooner rather than later must be a huge weight lifted knowing that stage is done and dusted x


----------



## Anjelissa

Hi all,

Just popping in to catch up with everyone's news.

I've pretty much given up on personals I'm afraid, as just not enough time in the day, and I don't really get a chance to come on here regularly enough now to be able to keep up with so many people in this thread.  
I think of you all though and wish you lots of luck.  x

ok, just a couple....
AAA.....lots of luck for your op next week hun  and for your medical tomorrow. x x

Mrs Dibbles....Huge congratulations!!!  I hope your wait is a short one x

Lots of luck to everyone at whatever stage you're at on your adoption journey  ,

Love Anj x x x


----------



## vickie10

Hi, wow ive had to go back a few pages to catch up with you all!

lots of progress happening but then also none due to stupid weather! 

We have a meeting with foster carers tomorrow, trying to get them in the right frame of mind as they are finding this very veyr hard, they have never taken on such a young baby and are finding it hard to give her up even though they know they have too, they are fairly old and we are very young, so i think our relationship is going to a bit slower in progress than some adopters/foster carers, but we are confident everything will be ok, they are a lovely couple who care very very much which is never a bad thing is it 

We have an emergency pannel date of Monday 20th Dec, it should be rattified inbetween xmas and new year! fingers crossed all goes well and paper work comes back in time for introductions to start on 4th Jan, if not it will be a week later 


IF all goes well that is


----------



## Cars

Hi All,

Sorry I havent been on for a while......... have had a bit of shock ..... I am pregnant! Cant believe it, 20 days after getting approved at panel to adopt I found out I was pregnant. We are absolutely over the moon, shocked but thrilled. We have contacted agency to tell them and they are really happy for us. We do still intend to adopt but we will need to postpone it for a few years.

Anyway lots of love on your journeys to mummys , we will all get there somehow!

Love Cars x


----------



## vickie10

Cars said:


> Hi All,
> 
> Sorry I havent been on for a while......... have had a bit of shock ..... I am pregnant! Cant believe it, 20 days after getting approved at panel to adopt I found out I was pregnant. We are absolutely over the moon, shocked but thrilled. We have contacted agency to tell them and they are really happy for us. We do still intend to adopt but we will need to postpone it for a few years.
> 
> Anyway lots of love on your journeys to mummys , we will all get there somehow!
> 
> Love Cars x


Wow! congratulations! just shows what can happen if you take your mind off things  best of luck x


----------



## vickie10

we went to visit foster carers today and they gave us a christmas present - a profesional photo of baby girl 
and a christmas card from her  so lovely! getting pride of place in our living room!
Matching Pannel on Monday!! soooooooo excited! not nervous at all anymore  well im scared incase it snows and is called off   AGAIN!


----------



## galaxy girl

Vickie - Brilliant news!! So excited for you!

Cars - wow - I thought the whole plan to adopt and then get pregnant thing was an urban myth!! Congratulations!Amazing news. All the very best for the future...


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Cars so pleased for you bet that was an amazing shock, congratulations to you x

Vickie i am praying for your panel on Monday, how lovely to have a lovely photo of your little girl       

Anj thanks hun its just lovely to hear from you gives us all hope that we will be there one day! Hope the 3 of you have an amazing Christmas xx

Well we had our medicals yesterday well sort of LOL the doc we wanted to do them is really lovely and has helped us through some tough old times with initial fertility test results etc etc etc he was really supportive of what we are doing and wrote some lovely comments on our forms I am just worried his very laid back attitude to the forms but not be enough and we get them sent back bless him we'll be knocking at his door if they come back LOL. Was weird hearing someone say I am a strong person cause I don't see myself as that but he said to have come through everything and be as happy and together as we are we must be bless his heart! Will stop bleating on LOL.


----------



## liveinhope

Congratulations Cars, good luck with the next 9 months

AAA - pleased the medicals went well, another step closer eh?

Vickie - what a fab Christmas pressie! Not long and then you will meet your little girl! Bet you cant wait.

Hi to Anjelissa too!

Put our Christmas tree up tonight, starting to feel a bit festive.  Rang our LA today to chase our SW visit which we have to have before prep course starts.  Our social worker wasnt at work today so will have to wait till Monday.  Think I'll feel better when I know when that will be!

Love to all
xx


----------



## Arrows

I thought it was a myth too! Congrats cars!


----------



## skyblu

Congratulations Cars you must be over the moon.
Best of luck for the next 9 months.

Well we are finally on the adoption road.
We sent off our first set of forms and hopfully get our first home visit in January.
I'm really excited but also very nervous, you will all hear a lot more from me now lol.
Best of luck to everyone.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## eknowles

hi everyone 
Cars - that is wonderful news i too thought it was a myth but good on you... just goes to show how much stress can effect our fertility journeys.  best of luck for the next 9 months take it easy and keep us up to date with things..
vickie - how wonderful to be able to see your little girl enjoy your xmas    for a meet in january!!

AAA - glad meds went i was really worried about ours as we had both had depression years ago but wasn't an issue.  was worrying for nothing and i am sure the doc has filled them out right!!

skyblu - welcome to the journey it is ok i haven't experienced anything too bad up to now (not like TCC) 

hi Angelisa, liveinhope, galaxygirl and anyone i've missed hope you are not too badlyaffected by the snow??!! 

AFM - we had our 3rd home visit wednesday (first being end of November) she said she thinks she can get us to panel in Feb    well definately progressing nicely quicker than i expected so really pleased with that... just cant wait for the day we meet our child (when i think of it i get butterflies!!) 

em xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Skyblu yeah looking forward to hearing more from you. Like enowles says we haven't experienced anything awful yet and we are both enjoying the experience in a weird way!

Enowles awsome hun not long now then! 

LIH hope you can speak to someone on Monday I am sure they will be able to see you in time fingers crossed xx

We have snow hubby and I are sitting in the living room with the curtain in the kitchen tied back so we can watch it! We don't normally get a lot but this has been going for 4 hrs now! Just hope its all gone by Wed for my op. In fact all gone by bed time tomorrow don't want Vickies panel been messed up again!


----------



## galaxy girl

Hi all - Okay had a sudden thought today and yes this does show how shallow i am - but i really need to know what people wear to panel! Thought I might wear a dress but does that make me look like someone who isn't ready to get running after and playing with a child? Jeans surely look like I'm not trying hard enough and don't get the gravity of the situation? ARRGGHH - Help!!


----------



## curvycat

Hi Galaxy girl 

I wore a black dress and leggins to approval panel and a stretch dress and thick black tights to matching panel 

I wanted to wear something as flattering as possible as I am a big girl and bmi was a concern 

I dont think it really does matter to much I just wanted to wear something comfortable that I felt good in as I have a confidence boost when I feel I am dressed well 

I think that counts more x


----------



## GERTIE179

Congratulations Cars!!
I know someone this happened to also - just goes to show. Well done again X


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies


The night before matching panel and sat in my sitting room looking out at the falling snow in tears. I just cannot believe that it is going to happen tomorrow.... even if we can get there I can't believe the whole panel will make it. So, so frustrated. if only it had happened on the 14th as originally scheduled.


The lovely christmas of celebrating looks like it won't be happening and no idea when they will reschedule.


Can only hope and pray now that some miracle means the snow will melt over night but not sure I believe in miracles anymore.


x


----------



## Boggy

Oh Moppit  

  all will be well.  I firmly believe that everything always works out for the best, at the right time even if it makes no sense to us. 

There should be some policy in place that only a certain number of the panel need to be present.  Hope you can rest well tonight.   

Bx


----------



## Rossi

Fingers crossed for you Moppit xxxx


----------



## liveinhope

Fingers crossed Moppit
xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Keeping everything crossed for you Moppit


----------



## Moppit

Just got back from matching panel and it was a resounding YES!!!!! So relieved! After all the bad weather we never thought it would actually happen today and just over the moon that this hurdle is crossed and we now know our little boy is coming home to live with us forever in January! Intros are due to start on either the 4th or 6th tbc tomorrow so not long!


For all of you on this long and sometimes painful journey stick with it. I cannot describe how good it feels to have got to this point. Worth every second of heart ache and frustration to know that this little boy will be ours.


Mx


----------



## liveinhope

Woo Hoo! Fantastic news Moppit and DH! What a fantastic Christmas present!

Wish you lots of luck with it all.

Inspirational for the rest of us just starting out this journey who feel that the road ahead is a long one!


----------



## Rossi

Congratulations Moppit - what a relief for you both - I hope you are celebrating tonight!   
Rossi x


----------



## eknowles

Moppit - Whooooohhoooooo what a wonderful xmas pressie so pleased for you   
em xxx


----------



## VEC

Gatecrasher alert!

But yay for moppit.  Am so delighted for you.

Good luck to everyone else.

Vec xxx


----------



## sweets x

Moppit- was so sad when read your post about you crying then really happy to see all went ok. Congratulations hunny. Have a lovely christmas now  x x x


----------



## skyblu

Congrats Moppit and Dh what a fantastic Christmas pressie.
Here's to a very Happy Crimbo.
Skyblu.xx


----------



## galaxy girl

Congratulations Moppit!!!!!!


----------



## Arrows

my brother's baby was born today at 36wks5days, 6lb7oz Sophie Marie

Am happy for them but at the same time, sad. I've been feeling broody since my friend told me she was expecting her 3rd (whom I'm thrilled for btw -broodiness kicked in later). It doesn't help that the first baby I lost was due 24th Dec and would have been around 3 now.
Doesn't it suck that you do everything right, you know -relationship, marriage then family (or at least that was the plan) and they screw up and get it instantly first time they had sex, whilst she was on the pill, 2 DAYS after meeting. The baby is older than their relationship for Pete's sake!

Very frustrated, broody, fed up with delays and feeling like the adoption stuff is going nowhere fast and generally feeling miserable. This sucks as really want to be excited about my niece but just not.


----------



## Moppit

Arrows - Don't feel bad for feeling bad its entirely natural. Even though we are now so close to meeting our son it still hurts to find out someone is pregnant. Its the worst feeling. That horrible emptyness combined with hating yourself for feeling that way when you know you should be happy for your friends and relatives having children and you are of course but it doesnt take away from the fact that you wish it was you. Don't beat yourself up about, take care of yourself. Being an auntie will be wonderful and one day soon your dream of becoming a Mummy will come true... x


----------



## panorama

Hi everyone

Sorry for being AWOL - was away on holiday, then away with my family and then got flu! Still feel a bit rubbish, hope to feel a bit better tomorrow! 

Moppit - excellent news!!! Will be a great start to 2011!

Arrows - what you are feeling is perfectly normal   So hard not to get jealous after all, I know I felt awful when my sister had her 3rd just when we had our last mc and decided enough was enough. But now I love my niece to bits. Being an aunt is lovely but can't compare to being a mum, your time will come hun   

We have now done most of our hs and our social worker has now interviewed most of our referees! Last meeting is on 6th Jan and then she will do the report for panel on 7th Feb! Still feels so surreal! Definitely will be so nice starting a year with not as much uncertainty! At least that's what I'm hoping! 

Anyway I still need to catch up with everyone but just wanted to wish you all a lovely Xmas, and hoping we all get our dream in 2011!   

p xx


----------



## sweets x

Hiya peeps. Arrows- don't feel bad hunny, as the others have said its natural. Sending hugs x x. Sorry for lack of personals. Am on mob. Had a bit of a disaster here, burst pipe in the loft, whole house and electric's are affected. No laptop or pc. Hopefully getting them checked out today . Merry christmas everyone x x x


----------



## Belliboo

Moppit congratulations what a lovely early christmas present


----------



## Belliboo

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year , hope Santa brings all you have asked for     xxxx


----------



## vickie10

exactly the same happened to us Moppet, we was ment to be at pannel on 6th Dec, we went on the 20th instead.


All went great peeps! Ive just not had the time to come and tell you all! Our introductions start on the 4th Jan, and all being well we bring our little girl home on the 14th! 

Her room is pretty much done too


----------



## galaxy girl

Vickie - YEAH!! Congratulations to you!!

Panorama  - glad home study is going well. 

Thankyou for info on what to wear curvycat... DH has said he is planning to wear a suit so its looking like a dress for me too!

Happy Christmas all!!


----------



## skyblu

Vickie -  

LADIES -  MERRY CHRISTMAS AND THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT LETS HOPE 2011 WILL BE OUR YEAR TO BE MUMMIES  

SKYBLU.XX


----------



## crystal4314

Hope you dont mind me joining in. Hope everyone had an excellent xmas 

We're going to book in for our info meeting on Jan 14th


----------



## libby29

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas!
Our 2nd home study visit is in 2 weeks. Can anyone tell me when the day will come when i will not be sick with nerves before these visits. lol xx


----------



## aaa is a MUMMY

Moppit and Vickie yeah so pleased for you both. 

Libbey LOL snap I feel exactly the same our next visit is a wk today and I am already thinking oh heck. It doesn't help as I had a laparoscopy last week and there is no way I am gonna be able to do any housework just have to see if the fairy will pay us a visit hubby went back to work yesterday. 

Crystal welcome to the thread everyone here is amazing x

Hi sorry I haven't been around I have been checking in on my phone and was really pleased to read 2 more yeah's. I hope you all had a good Chirstmas. I had my op on the 22 wasn't great news the doc was beat! He has never seen anything like it! Looks like I will be needing a hysterectomy but cause I wasn't really with it I didn't think to ask when it was likely to be I am now worried sick that it will really delay the adoption process for us. I totally understand why they would have concerns but it is really worrying me and the doc didn't wanna see me for another 4 mths as he has fitted a coil to see if will help with the problems! What a muddle!

Have a happy new year everyone xx


----------



## crystal4314

I have discovered that reading too many message boards is a bad idea, have managed to scare myself witless about all the potential difficultes of parenting an AC.


----------



## Boggy

Hi Crystal

You're not the first to find reading other message boards hard going - my DH banned me from them at one point!  

I can guess what site you mean - I think it's mostly used by people who are really experiencing a lot of difficulties and those who are facing fewer problems don't post - or post here instead!  The people on it have generally had very challenging and traumatised children placed with them, and find it a good source of support. 

I read the board every day but rarely post, it is very useful as an adopter but isn't terribly balanced in terms positive and negative posts.  There are a lot of good news adoptions too, many of them here on FF.  

Bx


----------



## crystal4314

I reckon you're right. I was particularly noticing those with teenage ACs who had gone off the rails, but then there is no guarntee that wouldn't happen with bio kids either! I was a bit of a teen hellion, and probably caused my mum the same ammount of stress. It is all quite scary and daunting, whch is why I prefer it here where there are more positive mummies


----------



## vickie10

i darnt read too much on other parts of this forum, im scared of the horror stories, i will just take it as it comes lol


----------



## libby29

Can anyone pleeease tell me why my ticker doesn't show up like everyone else's


----------



## Boggy

Hi Libby

I think you ticker probably doesn't show up due to the length of your signature - you are only allowed a certain number of characters.

If you can delete/shorten any of it, and maybe remove some spaces it should work.  You might need to play around with it again, and set up a new ticker as part of the ticker code may be missing.

Let me know if that doesn't work  

Bx


----------



## eknowles

hi all 
just popping on to wish you all a wonderful new year!!! heres hoping we are all sat here in 12 mths time with our family we so want!!! 2011 will be a good and eventful year for all of us i can feel it in my water    
love and new year hugs 
em xxx


----------



## skyblu

HAPPY NEW YEAR LADIES.

HOPING AND PRAYING THAT 2011 IS THE YEAR I WILL BECOME A MUMMY.

GOOD LUCK LADIES AND HERES HOPING YOUR DREAMS AND HOPES COME TRUE IN 2011

SKYBLU.XX


----------



## vickie10

when is it my turn said:


> Hi guys,
> 
> Can I join your thread
> 
> Have been reading over the past few months and haven't posted on here yet.
> 
> DH and I approved on the 23rd Nov (2010).I just know the waiting is going to get to me   ....any advice on how to
> 
> cope?


Hi, big Congrats on approval, its a great feeling isnt it, such a relaxant when you get that yes lol
coping to be honest is something everyone does differently, just try not to worry as such, do things you enjoy doing and to the best of my ability i just tried to put it out of my mind, but it was only 1 week for us and we was told about a match. That one didnt work due to the childs social worker not doing her homework and noting that close birth family lived close by! only waited 2 weeks for our report to be found by a different area and want to see us straight away about a little girl, this was in October. We start introductions with our beautifull daughter on Tuesday the 4th Jan!!!

So with every part of me crossed, it shouldnt take long  xx


----------



## Belliboo

Happy new year everyone hope all our dreams come true in 2011
Eknowles loved your post it's exciting to think how different things could be this time next year xxxx


----------



## GERTIE179

Happy New Year.

Just wanted to join you lovely ladies.  Finished prep course on 17 Dec and just awaiting an initial SW visit or bieng assigned one depending on resources as LA.  Very ecxcited now for 2011 although we know we have a long curvy road in front of us.  I've loved hearing of all you that have been approved recently and are close to meeting you little ones.

Love Cera aka Gertie x


----------



## Moppit

Hello Lovely Ladies


Just a quick post from me as absolutely shattered but wanted to let you all know that we met our little boy for the first time today and it was absolutely amazing. He was a bit shy at first but soon warmed up and by the end he was playing happily with us both and even gave my DH a cuddle before we left. I cannot wait for tomorrow morning when we will see him again.


I cannot believe that after all these years we are finally parents and cannot wait for the day we bring him home next week.


I am the happiest I have ever been and all the sadness of the last few years is falling away as I look to the future as a Mummy.


Don't give up ladies this journey is so worth it...


Moppit x


----------



## GERTIE179

MopPit - that's wonderful ne Congrats again x


----------



## liveinhope

Aw Moppit, that sounds wonderful! Good luck with the rest of intros and eventually bringing your little one home.

Happy New Year everyone! Lets hope 2011 is the year when we meet our children (or failing that at least be well on the road!))

We have our 1st SW visit next Thursday - aagh!


----------



## vickie10

Moppit, we are in the same boat! arrghhhh its so exciting isnt it lol

we had our 2nd day of intros today, our little princess was really poorly yesterday with a virual infection, shes been like it a while apparently, today shes a lot better but not 100%
she has a very strong attatchment to her foster carers so its proving quite difficult. Today she did let me change her nappy, she cried at 1st, then calmed to a bit of a whimper by the time i had done she looked at me as if to say "actually that wasnt so bad" hahaha Today we both got a goodbye kiss and a wave.

Lets see what tomorrow brings, we are hoping the foster carers can leave the room and she wont scream and follow them and attatch to their leg, but its not looking likely.


----------



## Boggy

Hello Ladies, and a Happy New year to you all.  Hoping that 2011 brings you all a bit closer to your dreams.  

I'll be locking this thread in a couple of days time, as you are all chatterboxes and have reached over 60 pages.  I'll set you up with a new one, so watch out for that. 

There are a few ladies on this thread who are no longer prospective adopters and have now crossed to the other side    If these ladies haven't found it already, we have a post placement board where you can discuss things a bit more openly than on a public board.  It is restricted access, PM suzie if you would like access.  We are quite strict in terms of who has access - you must be a regular poster, we must have "known" you for a while and you must have a child placed with you.  

If anyone ever has any ideas for new threads or for the board, please let me know     

Bx


----------



## skyblu

Hi Ladies,

Well had a shock phone call today, we are having our first home visit next Tuesday.
I am so shocked it has happened so quick, I only sent the application form in on the 22nd Dec.
I am really nervous, will the sw like us will we get on with her, will she think we are not ready ( we had our last ivf tx in Sep)
Will she think that we wont be good adopters will she dislike our dog( he is a bit lively but not harmfull).

What questions is she going to ask, what should be asking her.
My god so many questions, I am really bricking it.
I have never felt so nervous, IVF was a breeze compared to this!!!

Any advice would be greatfull.
Skyblu.xxx


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## aaa is a MUMMY

hi girls sorry been AWOL

Moppit went cold all over reading your post how amazing for you both xx

Vicky hope your little princess comes round soon sounds like you are making good strides bless her but be really hard being poorly as well as meeting her new mummy, hope it goes from strength to strength I am sure it will and very quickly xx

Skyblu  and living in hope good luck. Don't panic I know its easier said than done but it really isn't as bad as your  mind will have you believe.

I am feeling a bit sad we had our 2nd homevisit yesterday and our SW is going to have to speak to her manager about my pending hysterectomy i just wish I had been with it enough to ask when he was planning to do it when he told me aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhh. I have a follow up appointment in May. The medical adviser is gonna write to the consultant I just hope we don't have to stop everything! Just feel like which ever way we go something stops us! I know I know if its delayed its for a good reason blah blah blah but it just makes me feel bit    it doesn't help that i am still feeling poorly after my op I am due back at work Friday going to the GP tomorrow as I don't feel great at all!

Anyway sorry enough of me moaning! 

Happy New Year to everyone and hope this is the year all our dreams come true xxx


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## Cars

Hi All,

Just wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year, hope all your dreams come true in 2011.

Vicki and Moppit, if you get the time please keep posting, even though I need to postpone adopting a few years its still in my heart and I love hearing about your little ones.  Delighted for you both.

Love to you all
Cars x


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## Anjelissa

I just wanted to pop in and say hi   and a Happy New Year to you all.   

It's so lovely reading the news of intros!   
Congratulations to all those who have been matched   

Nemo has been with us over 4 months now and the time has just flown by!!!   

I just want to say to everyone at various stages, hang in there and no matter how difficult/frustrating and hard work the adoption assessment process feels at times, it will all be so very worth it for you all soon   

Lots of love Anj & Nemo x x


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## Duckling

Hi all,
Just wanted to keep in touch and see how everyone is getting on. Moppit and Vickie it's great to hear what it's like at this stage for you. AAA you poor thing, don't apologise for moaning, this waiting business is hard enough without setbacks.   Our first course is 2 weeks today. Getting very, very nervous as well as very, very excited. 
Lots of luck to everyone again, love from Duckling.x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks Duckling, you will be fine honest I was really nervous on our first day but its fine, its hard going but well worth it and we picked up loads from the prep course even though it felt like info overload a lot of the time.

Anj wow where has that time gone xx

Well I have been signed off for another 2wks think i might go slightly    mind you I might be able to make a start on our story for Bubba as I can sit up more now so some good might have come out of it all Bubba will come home one day might just be a bit longer than we thought x


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## Anjelissa

Me again.....

I just wanted to give a big     to AAA. 
I hope you're feel better soon hun, and get good news back from your SW    x x 

Love Anj x


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## aaa is a MUMMY

Thanks Anj I had kinda hoped we would hear from her today, she is in court tomorrow so guess it will be next wk when she comes to do hubby's individual interview.


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## galaxy girl

AAA - am sorry your still feeling so poorly. Am hoping you hear good news from SW very soon.

Skyblu - Our SW was fine with our dog - who sounds just like yours. He often gets very excited when new people come to door and barks when bell rings - so DH let him out to meet her when she got out of the car and in running around front garden he got the energy out and was very calm when she came in! As for questions - go ahead and ask whatever's in your head. the first visit is just to find out a little about you and for them to explain the process. 

Vickie and Moppit - how exciting!!! And probably exhausting... 

Looks like panel will be moved to feb for us. but nothing confirmed yet.


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## Moppit

Hi Lovely Ladies!


Day 3 of intros complete and things are going well. It is a surreal experience and not without its stresses but loving every minute of being with our little man. He is coping amazingly well and is a real little character. The whole intros process is pretty exhausting, driving back and forth to the foster carers and then spending time in someone elses house. Our FC is fantastic but clearly very sad to let our DS go and keeps talking about how much it hurts and how much she hates intros. There are several other children in the house as well which makes it all a bit hectic. Our little man seems to be getting used to us and allowed us to give him his lunch today without complaint. We gave him a bath yesterday and the poor little man refused to sit down and just stood there shivering. He has barely uttered a whimper though and seems to be very good. I think we are lucky things are going so well.


Tomorrow we'll be taking him out on our own for a few hours so we'll see how that goes.


Mx


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## panorama

Hello everyone, happy new year!

Moppit - all sounds great, enjoy the day today and hoping he settles in well with you when he comes home, how lovely   

GG - hope you get a date soon! Also going to panel in feb, exciting!   

AAA-    Hope you feel much better soon hun, and hope the process doesn't get delayed too much for you    

Anj - hope you and Nemo had a fab Xmas!

Duckling - everything goes super quick when you start - enjoy the course!

Cars - wow just seen your news, congrats!! Hope it all goes well!

Skyblu - hope meeting goes well!

vickie - hope its all going well and she is adapting to you both, when is she coming home?    hope she is feeling better!

LIH  -hope meeting went well!

When is it my turn - congrats on getting approved! All crossed for you to get matched soon!!   

Cera - welcome to the board!

Right think I have covered most personals but big hello to everyone else! 

We have just finished our hs and sw getting the report ready for panel on the 7th Feb! Very excited but still all feels rather surreal     

Decided to book a girly weekend away in Spain to see my best friend who I haven't seen in ages weekend after next which I'm looking forward to! Might as well make the most of it while we can!   

p xx


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## Arrows

Finally something to report, after missing our last day of prep course due to needed to attend a funeral, we're joining another group for their final session on 2nd Feb -so just 2mths behind original schedule:/
Have struggled a bit over Christmas with my brother's baby being born on 22nd but got to meet her at new year and she's pretty cute and they've asked me to be her godmother, which will be nice. Also middle brother got engaged on Christmas day so lots to do -seemed like I was one of the only people not to accomplish much in the last 6mths -passing the first unit of my teacher training course doesn't really compare.


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## Cars

Arrows- See in the next 6 months you will be amazed at what you have accomplished. It will fly by and in no time at all you will be posting to say that you are about to go to panel, promise


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## galaxy girl

Panorama - Panel was supposed to be Jan. we have a date and time booked off work - but have heard it might be postponed to Feb.... So its a bit disheartening. Still if it is Feb it will be just 3 days after yours !!


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## Boggy

New home this way........

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=253477.0


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