# FAO anyone who adopted without trying IVF/IUI/ICSI



## emm-anj (Nov 11, 2008)

hi everyone

my DH and I are at the stage where we might need to make a choice between going down assisted conception route or just going straight for adoption.

I'm just 34 and keep thinking "not getting any younger" etc; DH, at 30 years old, is younger than me so that's good but I worry that the older we are, the less of a hopeful prospect we are.

with that in mind, I really cannot bear to think "oh another 2 months til IUI/IVF, try that for 6 months; then wait 6-12 months before being allowed to start adoption" - by then I'll be 35 and a bit nearly 36.  Just dont' want to wait anymore really.

can anyone else share their experiences about this if they've gone straight to adoption? thanks!


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi

I had tx before adoption however that was for mine and DH peace of mind that we had no regreats!

In ref to adoption you are goping to be seen as young in some ways

I was 27yrs old when we 1st applied (was 28 - 3months later)

People we met during the process were in their 30yrs plus and even in 40's and 50's (and a foster career who kept her 3 girls and was in her 50's and her DH was in his 60's!)

hope this helps

I know we have ladies who didnt have tx and went straight for adoption and am sure they will post soon

xxx


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hello!

We went straight to adoption - phoned our local authroity 2 days after getting our basic test results from our GP.  Treatment wasn't right for us  - we'd need a donor and weren't comfortable about that.

I did find that i needed time to grieve, and did struggle grieving while starting the adoption process however we knew we only had x amount of time to adopt before my DH's job would mean we'd have to move and we'd have to start the process all over again.  

Your age is not a problem - in many areas you'd be regarded as young adopters!  We were both 29 when we started the process and 31 when matched - we were by far the youngest on our prep groups.

All the best with your journey

bx


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Have PM'd you
Viva
X


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

I too went straight for adoption as our only other option was surrogacy.

We applied at age 30 and 31 and were by far the youngest of our prep group.

magenta x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

My friend (had PCOS) went straight to adoption as a single womann and was 38 at the time I've started the IVF route, had a positive response and approved- she then became unwell and needed spinal surgery, but is cleared and not in the matching phase.Good Luck x


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## Guest (Nov 18, 2008)

We were faced with a similar decision about 18 months ago.  

We were respite foster carers ad the three children we ere fostering were looking for a permanent home.  We had previously tried IUI and had decided to try IVF that summer, but then they needed a home at that time.  In the end, after a lot of discussin and thought, we decided to give the IVF just one go.  As we expected we got a bfn but for us it helped us close that door as we didn't want to have regrets in the future especially if things were tough.  In the meantime, no-one else had come forward as potential adopters and the children were still in need of a permanent home, so we moved quickly to adopt them.  They were placed permanently with us earlier this year and we are now their legal parents too.  

I hope you can make the right decision for you.  Choosing to undergo fertility treatment is not an easy option, but then neither is forgoing it or adopting.
  
Bop


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## shivster (Jan 17, 2007)

We also went straight to adoption. I was medicated for depression during our infertility trials and tribulations and we didn't feel that I was going to cope emotionally with the IF treatment. Also we needed a donor to have even a remote chance of success and we decided against that. 

I was about 26 and DH 32 when we started the process and we were the youngest in our prep group. 

Our DS was placed at 17 months and he has been home a year. He is fantastic. I do not regret for a single moment not doing the ICSI rollercoaster however I would be lying if I said that I never think about babies any more. 

This was our path though and it's not for everyone, it is a very personal decision and one in which I wish you all the very best.   

Shivster


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi

We didn't go down any other route other than adoption when we found out we were unable to conceive a child of our own.

We were 25 & 26 when we found out this devastating news!!

At the time we were given some bad advice and told that we had to wait until we'd been married for 3 years, this NO longer applies THANK GOD!!

By the time we approached after our 3rd wedding anniversary we were 27?28 & due to one thing and another, mainly not getting on a prep course, we were approved at the age of 28?29 & our DS moved in with us the day before my 3oth birthday....the best present ever!!

Andrea
x


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