# Our adoption journey's 2007 Part 3



## ♥ M J ♥

New home ladies amd Gents for more   

Good luck everyone

Mez 
x


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## fiona1

No news here, only 4 weeks until panel.

DH and I off to NYC on Fri without Elliot for 4 nights. Elliot is going on holiday to my parents and then my sisters. So that wil be sweets for tea and no teeth brushing for 4 nights!!!!!

Hope you are all well.

Fiona


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## Misty C

Hi to everyone

Fiona - have a great time in NYC, if you have time try the horse drawn coach ride into central park - we have tried this once and I was mesmerised by how the big city noise disappeared so quickly the further into the park you went (silly me had expected still to hear the hustle & bustle just as loud  ).  I'm sure Elliot will have a great time with his grandparents and aunts although I am worried about the sweets and no teeth brushing!!!!

Well today we attended our Panel meeting.  Boy I was nervous, DH looked cool and calm - and slimmer!  My sister came along for moral support for both of us.  They made us feel relaxed but did ask lots of questions - I only expected a few.  We are now approved in principle and should get a letter in a few weeks to confirm Panels decision (fingers crossed).  Woohoo    .  I'm just so relieved........

Hope everyone is doing well and moving forward with their own adoption path.  I have been away for a wee break with my sister and came home last week so forgive me for not catching up with everyone.  Will do from now on.

Love to everyone
Misty C
xxxx


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## fiona1

Misty,

Massive congratulations, now the waiting realy starts.

Fiona


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## superal

Congratulations Misty C - lets hope the wait is not to long!

Hi to everyone else, been back home about an hour now after getting back from my Gran's funeral, it was a lovely but very sad day, if that makes sense, the sun came out just as the hearse (not sure how you spell that!!) pulled up and shone all the way through the service and burial.  We'll all miss her but she is no longer in pain and she is now a bright star up in the sky, that's what my 6 year old DD told me this morning!


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## fiona1

Andrea - I seem to be following you from one thread to another!!!!

I am glad today went well, and that the sun shone for your Gran.

Take Care

Fiona


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## Barbarella

Well done Misty C... many congrats to you...    

Hugs to you Andrea... hope you are ok hon, you know where I am if you need a chat...  Glad the sun shone for your lovely Gran.

Lots of love, C xx


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## saphy75

Misty, congratulations hun. enjoy celebrating 

pam xx


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## Ange K

Well done Misty! It's a fantastic feeling isn't it?!

Andrea - I'm glad the sun shone for your gran. I remember when I went to my nannan's funeral and the sun was shining - it somehow made me feel so much better.

Fiona - hope you enjoy NY - I love it there!

Well, after finding out last week that we're getting Cup Cake (that's our nickname for her!) I been busy researching buggies and car seats and was told by our SW to get her name down for nursery. All new territory for me!! Got a snotty comment from one nursery I called. She asked me how old Cup Cake is and she'll be 3 soon and the woman asked if I was new to the area - I said no - and she said she couldn't understand why I'd left it so late to ask after a nursery place. Trying to keep my blood from boiling over (!) I calmly explained that we were adopting her and wouldn't have her until August and that as I'd never had a child before, I'd never needed to call a nursery. She soon changed her tune!! Maybe I should have just lied and said we were new to the area! 

We're due to get some more photos and a video of her this week so can't wait for that. It's both DH's and my birthdays this week and it's the best present we could hope for!

Hope everyone it ok

Ange x


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## Misty C

Hi everyone

Thanks for the lovely congrats, I'm so excited I couldn't sleep!  

Andrea  I was so touched by your DDs comment that your Gran is a bright star in the sky, how beautiful.  Thinking of you.  xx  

Ange  it is such a fantastic feeling, we are on  !  Enjoy the pictures and videos this week while celebrating your birthdays, it sounds like your dream has come true.  xx

Love to everyone. 

Misty C
xxxx


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## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Misty, great news!!!
Andrea, just to say i am thinking of you
Ange, what an exciting time ahead I am so happy for you!!!
Fiona, i hope you have a ball in NY, I am sure you will!
Hope everyone else is ok,
love JD x


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## Lynnm

Good Afternoon

Misty - Congratulations on being approved, hope you dont have to wait too long.

Superal - I am glad the weather and kind words from your DD offered you some comfort.

Ange - What wonderful news.  It must be great to be start 'living the dream'.  Enjoy every minute.

TC
Lynn x


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## casey

Hi everyone
a very quick one from me - tiger ( new name) came to stay on Sunday and its been up and down since - dd finding it hard to get used to tiger whi is harassing her to death,and he's upset about leaving f/c and keeps crying and the poor little mite doesn't understand whars happening and a million and one other things - but anyway he's here    

Misty - congratulations   

Andrea - flad you hae a nice memory to remember your gran's funeral, andyour dd sounds so caring 

Ange - wonderful news - happy speniding and good luck organising everything 

Fiona - have a great time in the big apple !

got to go - getting 'muummm' in stereo
love caseyxx


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## Misty C

Casey 

Aww so glad tiger is at home with you and all the family, although its sounding hectic!  I hope things begin to settle for you all soon. 
Love
Misty C
xxxx


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## jilldill

Hi Casey,
Same from me, i am sure things will settle in a few days. Speak soon love JD x


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## TraceyH

Hi All

Misty C - congratulations.  Hope you have some good news soon.

Ange - Happy Birthday.  Enjoy shopping for Cup Cake it is great fun.

Casey - I am sure Tiger will settle down soon.

Not much happening here.  We are waiting for the court papers to be drawn up.  We are going on our first family holiday next week to the seaside which we are looking forward to, although DH cannot believe how much we need to take for little one and it will also be my first birthday as a mummy when we are away.

Tracey x


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## Old Timer

Hi All
Misty C - congratulations, hope your wait isn't too long.

Ange, happy birthday and have fun shopping.

Casey, sounds hectic but I'm sure things will settle soon.

Tracey, have a lovely holiday and birthday.

Love
OT x


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## loobylou713

Hi girls 

Don't know if you can remember me but i did say i would let you know how i got on at Czech Republic with egg donor. Well i am pleased to say i have got my first BFP in 12 years. I am over the moon.


Linda


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## superal

Hi Linda

Just replied on your other thread, what fantastic new, many many congratulations, you must be over the moon to say the least!!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Misty C

Congratulations Linda, fantastic news!!  Look after yourself and little beanie.

Love
Misty C
xxx


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## KarenM

Congratulations Linda

Have a happy and healthy pgy.

Karen x


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## saphy75

have replied on the other thread but once again big congrats to you Linda, please keep us posted how you are getting on  

pam xx


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## Old Timer

Hi Linda
Congratulations, worth the trip!
Keep us posted.
Love
OT x


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## sanita

Congratulations Linda.  That's fabulous news.

Sanita


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## Lynnm

Congratulations Linda.  I was so chuffed to read your post there.

Lynn xx


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## cindyp

I hope my laptop doesn't shut down but here goes.

Linda, so pleased for you, hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.  Well worth the trip   

Misty, congratulations to you too, hope you find a quick match.

Andrea, sorry to read about your Gran but pleased the day went well.

Fiona, have a great time in NYC, I've never been but heard it's great.

Ange, it's lovely to read more good news.  Like you say the best birthday presents you could get.  Hope you have fun shopping for cupcake.  

Casey, I'm sure things will get easier.  I must admit it was a culture shock for us going from one child to two and DS had major problems getting used to his new sister but now she gets the occasional cuddle/kiss.  Although there is still a lot of shouting of MINE!!


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## BunBun

Misty - congratulations on being approved.
Fiona - have a great time away.
Ange - what a lovely birthday present for you both. Have fun shopping.
Casey - hope things are settling down.
Tracy - enjoy your holiday & 1st birthday as a mummy.
Linda - congratulations.
Hello to everyone else.
I've finally finished work and we are now looking forward to intros starting on Monday. FC has kept us update to date and emails are flying between us which has been so nice. I don't think I'll get a chance to pop on next week as the intros are going to be quite long  but at least we'll get them over with in a few days.
Love to you all


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## cindyp

As you can see from the odd ending to my post my laptop did crash, but I'm at work now so that problem no longer here.

Bunbun, hope things go really well next week.  Enjoy your last weekend on your own, there will be no rest from now on   

Hope everyone else is well, I can't say "and enjoying the weather" cos so far it's rubbish  .

Have a great weekend.

love
Cindy


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## Boomerang girl

hi all just popping in for the first time in ages (I do lurk but rarely have a moment to post now I am back to work (part time) with the house move, and dd to keep me busy!

Just to let you know we have started the journey again in that we have made contact and expressed an interest so we are now on the list for the next "second time adopters" one day course. I am expecting another two year journey as there is a shortage of sw's again- but not really bothered as we are not in a great rush and just enjoying dd at the mo.

Love to everyone- so excited to see all the journeys finally resulting in matches and placement its wonderful!
x


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## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Bunbun, enjoy next week, hope all goes well.
Boomerang Girl, good luck, hope you have a quicker journey this time.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.  We've had loads of rain today 

Went to BILs today and always come away from there stressed!  They have adopted and SIL thinks she knows it all.  We wouldn't tell them our panel date, just that it is provisionally booked and we are happy with that.  They were rushed through as SS had 3 children lined up for them and things have changed so much since they went through it but she has great pleasure in going on about being prepare to have a long wait blah blah blah.  I always feel so negative after seeing them and just when I was starting to feel more upbeat again.  We had to take a photo of them for our book and her face said it all!  When we explained we had been told to include siblings she said we'd better get on and do it then but she couldn't understand why they would want to look at it at approval panel.

Anyway off out for a drink or 2!
Love
OT x


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## Misty C

Morning everyone

Bit chilly here this morning.

Bunbun – hope everything goes well with intros on Monday, will be thinking of you. 

Cindyp – what a shame your laptop gave up, glad you can still keep in touch at work though.  

Boomerang girl – great news on going through the process once again, hope it whizzes by for you. 

OT – sorry to hear your SIL has such a negative affect on you. I had a friend who used to make me feel really stressed when we met, this changed to getting very stressed before we met (meeting up now stopped and much happier!). I think it was more about control looking back.  I realise you can’t stop seeing your family, so get that head up, those shoulders back and just ooooze the confidence you have after getting through all the adoption processes so far.  It’s a huge milestone being approved at panel and no one is under any illusion about waiting afterwards.  Hope you enjoyed the drinkies.

Off to work in 5 minutes so will finish off now, hope everyone has a great day.

Love
Misty C
xxx


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## fiona1

Hi All,

I am back from NY, what an amazing place. Had a fab time. I haven't had chance to read up on everyones news, but I hope you are all ok. 

Our papers have been sent off to the panel members 20 days until panel!!!!!!

I'm off to play on the new games on here.

Fiona


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## sanita

Hello everyone, it's a long time since I had a catch up on here so here I go.

Ange - What a lovely name, Cupcake.  Totally understand the problem you had with nursery.  I've had it this week with Beavers, swimming centre and gymnastics club.  It's too complicated to try and organise these things without mentioning that you are adopting.  I'm glad I did mention it to the gymnastics club.  They normally have a 7 month waiting list, but when I said we were adopting she said they could have a place as soon as they were ready.  Queue jumping or what?  Still, it's for my kids so I'll do it.

Casey - I still can't believe how quickly this has all gone for you.  I don't suppose you have a lot of free time, but I like to hear how you're getting on when you have time again.

Tracey - Hope you have a nice time at the seaside and enjoy your first birthday as a mummy.

Bun Bun - You won't be on here reading this but I hope intros are going well for you this week.

Boomerang Girl - You're a braver woman than me, going through this for a second time.  DH and I decided before approval that we wanted two becasue we didn't want to go through this process ever again.  Didn't tell the SWs that was our reason for having two though.   

OT - Families!  Sorry your SIL gets you down.  Hope you don't have to see her too often.

Fiona - Glad you had a fab time in NY.  Not long till panel now.

All is progressing well for us.  We met FC and the childrens school teachers last week.  Smiling boy and Princess loved the DVD we did for them and watched it 17 times in 2 days.  Both children are feeling a lot better about coming to a new family and are excited as well as anxious now.  We are 90% ready for them at home and I finished work last week.  Intros start on Tuesday and DH and I are both so excited I think we might burst before Tuesday!

Love Sanita


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## Boomerang girl

aw sanita your post just brought tears to my eyes I am so chuffed for you!

re: going through the process again- thats the only thing we regret about the whole thing- we wish dd had a sibling we could have at the same time (we were approved for one or two)

You enjoy yourselves next week and get plenty of rest you will need it!
xxxxxx


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## ♥ M J ♥

CHAT NIGHT LADIES AND GENTS-PLEASE COME JOIN US
(please pm me if you need the password to get into the adotpion room)​


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## cindyp

Finally, got my laptop fixed   

Sanita, hope your intros go well on Tuesday.

Fiona, glad you had a good time, not long till panel  

JD, tried to pm you but you've been a busy bunny and your inbox is full!!

Really tired, going to bed.

love
Cindy


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## Misty C

Morning everyone

Fiona1 - glad you enjoyed New York, hope you have taken lots of photos.  Your panel date will be here before you know it.  

Sanita - its all sounding really and exciting as well as positive, can't wait to hear all about intros next week - only 5 more sleeps to go. 

MJ - I have never been on a chat room and don't know what to expect.  Is it easy to use?

Cindyp - hope you have rested up. 

Love to Linda, Pam, Tracey, Lynn, Boomerang girl, Casey, OT, Bunbun, Andrea and anyone else I have missed. 

Love 
Misty C
xxxx


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## MovingOn

Hi Gals,

As my dh are officially in our home study I thought it was about time I poped my head up over the rafters instead of hiding in the background.   We are pleased to be at this stage and have found the adoption process to be so positive and uplifting after the nightmare of IVF. I absolutely love reading your stories about bing matched and meeting your little uns for the first time. We can't wait!!...although I suspect we have a long way to go. Still, it is exciting.

I do have some questions - I am in the middle of doing our ecomap for my individual chat with our social worker and I am not sure about the inter-connecting lines between the circles...did any of you do the thick lines for strong relationships and dashed lines for weaker ones? Also, did you have to indicate stressful relationships - what constitutes a stressful relationship? 

I have no idea what to expect from the one-on-one chat, is it scary?

Final question...I had my medical but I had just changed G.P as I wanted to draw the line under my whole IVF experience so he did not know me very well. Do you think that will matter? He also put Fertility Discussion down as the last thing he saw me about...Grrr  He said that was fine and it was the truth but it was only a discussion to give him my history and talk about drawing a line under it and adopting. Do you think that will be an issue? If the adoption medical officer has any questions do they contact you or go straight to your G.P? I woulld just like to know what is being discussed about me.

Thats me...thanks for all the wonderful advice you share every day...this site has made the whole process less of a mystery. 

Love
MO x


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## Mummyof2

No news here other than we have to have our annual review as it has been 13 months since we were approved at panel.  Any one else had their annual review?  If so, what does it entail?

Hi Movingon and welcome.  Re the ecomap, I did most of mine in solid lines as the more support you can show, the better.  Some I did in dashed broken lines to show balance.  On my ecomap I put down in a box the people I had met at my preparation course and also in another box this site, plus the more usual box ones eg family and friends.  I didn't have to put stressful relationships on my ecomap!  Re one to one, it is just a chat about your life and how you felt you were parented, how you enjoyed school, basically what makes you tick.  Nothing scary but be aware of what you say!  Can't help re the medical but I would think that fertility discussion would be seen by social services as a good thing if you say it was to  put a lid on IVF.

All the best


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## Misty C

Hi everyone 

Movingon - re: ecomap - We completed ours similarly to Jeniffer in relation to family, friends and people we had met on the prep course.  I also included FF and websites we used to obtain information along the way with a key to the side indicating the level of support each line meant e.g. full support, less significant support and potential adopters support etc.  We didn't have to include stressful relationships either.  The most difficult thing for me was trying to find out how many miles everyone lived from us!

Jennifer - re: annual review, I have to say no one has mentioned this to me so far so I'll be interested to hear how it goes - only if that's OK! - good luck.  xx

Love to everyone.
Misty C
xxxx


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## Boggy

Hi Folks

Been hiding for a while, but thought I'd pop up and say hello!  

We're approaching the end of our home study, and hope to be at panel in October.  We are sooooo excited.  It's gone well, the occasional hic-up but generally have enjoyed it.  Social Worker is now spreading our appointments out, not seeing her for another month now which is a bit frustrating - we're on holiday in sept so she needs to keep things going until then before we can go to panel.

MovingOn, our medicals also said that the last time we had visited the doctor was a for a fertility discussion.  Look at it as being a positive - you must be healthy and not need to see your doctor often!  The doctor who did mine was not my own doctor - she was about to go on maternity leave and didn't think it appropriate!  The medical adviser will received your report, and will phone your GP for chat, but our Swer said this was nothing to worry about, just routine.

Hi to everyone else.  Better go.  During the course of writing this message, my DH has come in and told me that our travel company has pulled out of the resort where we were going in Sept.     We've paid accommodation and flights to/from gatwick already....major panic approaching.  Maybe we will make it to the panel in Sept. 

Bx


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## MovingOn

Hi,

Thanks for all the tips. Cindy and Jen I will take your advice about the ecomap...it is looking pretty big at the moment but not everyone is a strong support so I guess that is ok. There is such a lot to think of...I never thought of putting down FF but your right, it is a good source of support.

Boggy - poor you, I hope you get the holiday sorted.  
The Fertility discussion was only in May though and it was part of my new patient check up with my GP so I am concerned they will still think I am harping on about IF when I am really done with that. I just feel my swer keeps saying how important it is to know we have moved on but we have never hidden anything so hopefully it will be ok. I never knew they phoned your gp - they won't get much from mine, he is a man of few words. 

Thanks again for the tips. 

MO x


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## ♥ M J ♥

hi Ladies

Misty C- Chat is easy as we go into our own room so its just the "adoption ladies and gents" if you fancy a tour please shout and i will happily give you a tour of chat and how it works

Movingon- Welcome to the adoption threads- i am one of the mods for adoption so please feel free to shout my way anytime- ref the medical-we moved doctors and first meeting with our doctor was for our medicals-my last visit to my old GP was for stress/depression however this was just before we made our final decision to proceed downt he adoption route- i have fully explained to our SW how/why this happened(poor SW must dread me opening my mouth as i gab for england!) 

Jennifer- not got as far as you however wanted to wish you luck for your review meeting

Boggy- lovely to chat with you last night- hope you get your holiday sorted!

hi to everyone else- thinking of you all

Things this end have been rather hectic - we have finished HS for now however we are due to move house(our home is due to be demolished as part of a regeneration in our town) however the housing dept will not give us a 3 bed property (we live in a 2bed now) as they say that as we dint have children we are not entitled to the extra bedroom , our SW (who has been great) has spoken with them and wrote 2letters of support (the 2nd at their request) however they stilled declined even after her advising that for us to go to panel we need to be moved and settled and also to have the health and safety check done!

I have now got in contact with our MP (who is an adoptive mum due to IF ) and she has wrote me a lovely email back advising she has gone to the top manager of the housing dept to ask him for his help in this issue! its such a catch 22- to get a 3bed we need children and to get our babies we need to be moved into a 3bed! (we are wanted 2-3 siblings 5 or under hence needing 3bedrooms) 

our panel date is being held as the same for now as SW said if need be she can put it back at last min however would rather have paperwork ready to go in-case we can pull the move off in time!

Massive hugs

Mez
x


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## jaccuziman

Hi everyone

Not really had the chance to chat with anyone on here much since IVF.  You know how it is, during IVF you have lots to say about your treatment on a day to day basis, but with adoption the events seem so far apart.....

Anyway, after our last attempt we both decided that adoption was the way forward and we have now got a letter to say our application will be going ahead as soon as a SW has been assigned to us....

As we have little or no experience of children we have to gain experience by going to nurseries or after school clubs etc.

Has anyone else had to do this and can you offer me any advise as to what to expect.  I know they have to send us an application from CRB for the checks.  I know you can't really be specific about anything but any advise would be helpful.

I am more positive with the adoption process than the IVF process.

Today a work mate's wife gave birth to a boy this morning and I feel great about it....this is a good sign for me as normally I feel resentment...but am truly overjoyed for them.

Debs


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## ♥ M J ♥

jaccuziman said:


> As we have little or no experience of children we have to gain experience by going to nurseries or after school clubs etc.
> 
> I am more positive with the adoption process than the IVF process.
> 
> Today a work mate's wife gave birth to a boy this morning and I feel great about it....this is a good sign for me as normally I feel resentment...but am truly overjoyed for them.
> 
> Debs


Hi Debs

As we have a large (mega fertile) family we have lots of children/child care experience so didn't need to do this however i know a few ladies have- i would ask that they send you this info via PM however general info can be on the main boards

We like you felt the moment we made the final decision to say no more TX- adoption all the way we felt like a weight had been lifted from us

Our niece whom is 19 is now nearly 5months pregnant and when we found out in march i didn't do my "normal" uncontrollable sobbing of "why them and not us" it shocked me as for the first few weeks i felt like "am i gonna get upset" and even now i feel fine about it- this is our life now and we are more then happy with it!

hope this helps

Mez
x


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## sundog

M J - As you know, I came in to chat on the tail end of you explaining about your house situation. Now I fully understand and can't believe how crazy that is (but just another example of how adoption is not considered so often). However, how lucky that your MP is an adoptive mum - couldn't ask for better luck that that.   I am sure she will do absolutely everything she can for you. Thanks for last night's chat  

Moving On & Misty C - last night I was a chat virgin and survived . It was really nice to chat directly to people - a really good way of getting to know people and also to get instant feedback to all those things you have been wondering about but may not have wanted to ask. I hope to be there with you all again next week. My advice is don't drink a glass of wine beforehand as it seriously compromises your typing ability!

Boggy - what terrible luck about your hol. Hope it all works out - we all deserve a proper break now and again.

jaccuziman - I had terrible trouble finding a nursery that would take me on for some child care experience. They were mostly all up for it in theory but when it came down to it something always got in the way. Some time later I tried again but this time I approached childminders (you will find listings for all areas on the SureStart website) and the first one I contacted had a 2 year old and 7 year old of her own and cared for 3 year old twins AND was happy to have me come and help. I had to complete a CM2 form and apply to OFSTED as a volunteer (they check your CRB form and also contact your local social services to check for issues which all takes a while , so I advise you to get started ASAP). However, I have been spending one afternoon a week with her for a few months now and it is great. I really look forward to it every week and I think, in retrospect, it is a far nicer experience being in someone's home than in a chaotic nursery! It has made all the difference in helping me prepare and understand what itt is really like to be a mum. Good luck  

sundog
x


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## Lauren

Hi everyone,

Just popping on to let you all know that I am still in the land of the living!  I know I have been utterly useless at coming on here lately.  I pop in from time to time to catch up with you guys but as the board gets busier and busier (which is great!) it is so hard to keep on top of everyone's news!

Daisy is still doing fantastically and we couldn't love her any more!  She was 2 on Saturday so got to do my first kiddies birthday party.  Although we only had family over I still went crazy decorating the house, etc.  Even managed to impress myself by making a cake in the shape of a number 2!  Motherhood is bringing out all kinds of skills I didn't know I had!  

At the beginning of June we had a Naming Ceremony for Daisy (she has already been Christened before she came to us) and it was such an emotional day as I realised that all the pain and crap of going through tx was all about getting to this in the end and it was so worth it to see little Daisy running around in a beautiful pink dress - which she will probably never forgive me for when she is 18 as it was rather puffy and marshmallow like!  But had to be done when she is too young to argue back!

Big kiss and lots of love to everyone on here.  Promise to try and post a bit more regularly in future!
Lauren xxx


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## Misty C

Morning everyone

Boggy – the October panel date will come around very soon.  Sorry to hear about your holiday, hope something turns up for you. 

Mez – thank you and yes please to a chat room tour; let me know what time is good for you.  I hope your home is all sorted out soon.  It sounds like you have all the boxes ticked and are good to go.  Going to the top usually does the trick so I’ll keep my fingers crossed. 

Debs – it’s great to read that birth events no longer get to you.  I agree with you that adoption so far (for us), and that’s without the children yet, has been so positive.  No doubt worries will appear when the child/ren arrive!  

Sundog – hopefully speak to you next week in chat!

Lauren – what a lovely post, it’s so sweet to hear about Daisy and I loved the sound of her fluffy dress at the naming ceremony.  You have had a busy time but you sound so contented. Please keep posting your news as now I’m a mummy to be your story (and others) helps brighten up the waiting itself.

No more news on our front, SWr is on holiday but I know people are working away in the back ground. 

Have a good weekend everyone. 

Love
Misty C
xxxx


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## Tarango

Good evening everyone, 

I sort of introduced myself and DH a couple of weeks ago and was steered towards this thread (thank you Saphy75!!)

Although we are still in 'quarantine' from fertility treatment, we are looking forward to starting on the adoption road. We have started doing some reading - well I have DH just wants to be told about it afterwards  

There are lots of positive stories on here and everyone sounds sooooo nice and supportive, we are looking forward to getting to know you all!

sorry about the 'me' post ... I promise I'll do a proper post next time 

love 
T and Mr T  
xx


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## superal

Welcome Mrs T!!

Had to laugh about the bit about you reading and DH wanting to just be told....typical man!!

We are a nice bunch on here and you'll get lots of support on your way, some days you just need to "talk" to people who know what your going through rather than people saying oh that's great or aren't you brave!! 

At the end of the day we all want to be parents, some of us just go about it in different ways and don't regret it for one moment.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## sanita

Hello Mrs T,

Love the way you descibe it as being in quarantine.   Very funny.

And yes, my DH was like that with the reading bit too.  I just gave him the edited highlights.

Sanita


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Its interesting to read that other women have had the same problem as I had - trying to get their DH's or DP's to read adoption related books.  Thank goodness I am not alone!!!!  My DH has only read one book on his own, and only because SWer asked him to..............

Special Hi to Mr & Mrs Tarango. 

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## jan welshy

Hiya folks, not been on for a while, very sorry.
Still having HS and have had 3 together and each of our 1 on 1. She told us last week that had she not been going away for the whole of August we would have been at panel for the start og September (nice to let us know). BUT she is going to get in as many more visits as pos in July in order to get to panel at the start of October and that she will contacting or refs asap. YIPPEEE! or am I jumping too soon.
Hope you are all well.
Sorry this has been us us us.
Love
WelshyXXXXX


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Bun Bun - Hope the intros went well.  Looking forward to hearing your updates.

Sanita - Good luck with your intros.  It is a very emotional and exhausting time but just think about the light at the end of the tunnel when you bring them home.

Moving On - Hope you got your ecomap sorted out.

Boggy - Welcome on board. Panel will be here before you know it.  Hope you got your holiday sorted out.

MJ - Hope you have got your housing situation sorted out.  Could you PM me the details of how to get onto the chats.  I have never done it before so please be patient with me.

Mr and Mrs T - Welcome. You will find loads of helpful advice and support on this site.

Lauren - Glad Daisy is doing well.  Our little boy was 2 at the beginning of June and we had a lovely birthday party for him at a local play centre and he was so excited.  

No news from this end.  We are waiting to sign our court papers before they can be sent off (I feel a phone call coming on).  We have just returned from our first family holiday and it was great.  We had a week in Norfolk and our little one was beside himself with excitement when he saw the seaside and we took him to a sea life centre and he was trying to tickle the fish through the glass - bless him.  He seemed to really enjoy having quality time with us both. I also had my first birthday as a mummy when we were away and it was lovely.  He is starting full days (3 days) at nursery tomorrow as I am back at work in 2 weeks, so I think we are in for a grumpy week!

Tracey x


----------



## ritzi

hi all

i wrote with some questions back in march as we were considering looking closely at adoption when all our frosties were gone. 

as expected our tx failed and we have decided no more   which brings us back to adoption......

for us adoption has always been a real option for the future - particularly because dh is adopted and wanted to pursue it from the day our IF was discovered. while i'm glad we went through the tx i'm now relieved it's over and feel that adoption is the next step for us. 

i've spoken with different agencies - and at the mo dh and i are thinking about going with Barnados rather than our LA. Our wish would be to adopt an older child/ren and we are very open to adopting a disabled child too - as Barnados seem to specialise in these areas we figured they may be better than our LA. Does anyone have any experience - good or bad - with Barnados? 

i have been reading your thread now for some months - so feel like i've secretly tried to follow your stories and shed the odd tear during your highs and lows    i figured it was about time i stopped lurking and said hello   i look forward to really getting to know you all as we start out on our journey.

ritz


----------



## everhopeful

Morning all

I'm sorry but no personals today, as I simply havent had time to read through the thread.
Hope everyone is ok x

Just to let you know that after 2 years floating merrily along in the wonderful world of mummy-ness !!!! We're about to embark on the unknown and scary world of.... dum dum dum....... adoption process!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Somehow second time round is making me feel more nervous, especially because we're meeting our new SW tomorrow..............eeeeek!!  

So I'm back running around frantically cleaning all the skirting boards and making sure nothing's out of place !!!! Which is firstly, completely out of character and secondly, almost impossible to do, with a 3 year old following me about the place, and needless to say, dropping toys and clothes wherever she goes!!! (yes, just like her daddy!)

So here goes, back into the old routine 

I'll let you know how we get on!

  

Just to add, extra nervous this time round cos there's the added pressure of new SW watching us with DD, the interaction etc, and also how on earth can I make sure that she doesn't have one of her wobblies (or me for that matter) ??!!     OMG !!


----------



## everhopeful

Well, D Day has arrived!!!

Meeting with new SW this afternoon. I've been up since 6am - I'm working an early shift so I'm home well before the visit.

To be honest I haven't slept all that well. And they reckon it's easier 2nd time round??! Well, I guess it's just nerves meeting someone new. Hopefully from today things should be quite straight forward.
Our DD has told us that we have to sit and listen, and only she will be talking to SW!!! ha ha! I can see a few sulks coming up this afternoon!

Anyway, must get on, I'll report later (eeek!)


----------



## Misty C

Morning everyone

My computer is acting up, so hopefully it will last during this post - it must be this wet weather!

Everhopeful - good luck with SW today, I'm sure DD will keep you all on the right lines... xxx

Ritz - good to see you posting, I can't help with any Barnardo's questions but I am sure once you have met/discussed your decision with the organisation they would do their utmost to help.  Looking forward to hearing how things move on. 

Tracey - loved the story of your little one trying to tickle fish through the glass, he sounds like such a sweetheart.  

Welshy - can't believe you are whizzing through the home study so quickly (it must be the high notch super biccies you supply!). October will be here before you know it.

Written confirmation of our approval has been delayed, so we wait a while longer.  SWer has sent us some info on children requiring a home.  The information is out of date and it is just for our information at the moment, but it does tug at the heart strings. 

Love to everyone on the thread.

Misty C
xxx


----------



## sundog

Sorry in advance for very 'me' orientated post, but can't contain myself - just have to tell someone!

OMG, I'm so excited! We have just had confirmation of our panel slot on 17 July, just 13 sleeps!!!   

SW says she will start putting our name about amongst the children's SWs, and she hints that she may already have someone in mind for us! 

yippee - how will I possibly sleep between now and then!

Sanita - Was thinking of you CONSTANTLY yesterday thinking "I wonder if they have met them yet?", "I wonder what they are doing now"... I know you and dh will have so much to do and discuss, but can't wait to hear how intros are going  

sundog
x


----------



## keemjay

i was just thinking about Sanita and wondering how her day went..she did say she might  burst so maybe she did  

thats great news sundog, time will fly..now you just have to get your outfit ready (if you're going that is ) 

ooh ever, how exciting to be getting started again, hope DD behaves 

no news here except we have a meeting with the sw's this avo  ahead of 'the' big decision on fri...considering we are so pivotal to the whole thing we havent really been told much so we're going in armed with a ton of questions, and hopefully will gain some reassurance. very very stressful here right now..am decorating the bathroom as displacement therapy!!

kj x


----------



## Misty C

Great news Sundog -  ooooohhh  that's quick, I'm soooo excited for you.  Do you have the option not to attend the panel meeting?  

Keemjay - what a strong person you are and I know you'll make sure your fully satisfied with the answers SW's give you.  I have two rooms that are free to be more displacement therapy for you if your up for it!!!  Will be thinking of you this afternoon.  xxx

Sanita - hope everthing is going well.

Well Sundog and Keemjay, that's me fit to burst with your news, its lifted my spirits sky high and I might even do some more cleaning!!!

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## sundog

Keemjay - Can't imagine how you must be feeling. there is nothing worse IMHO than having absolutely no control over an outcome. I do feel for you. All the best for this avo.  

Misty C - We were not given a choice about panel so I assume that our LA always do it this way. To be honest, I am better at coping if I am there and involved - couldn't bear to be sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring. (see comment to kj! - I am not a control freak, really ). I imagine it must be quite hard to look at out of date info and not get attached, and also quite frustrated. Fingers crossed you get the full profiles very soon.

sundog
x


----------



## Misty C

Hi Sundog

We were advised that our presence was required at the Panel and like you would rather be there (no control freakery here either  !!).  I keep telling myself that the children in the out of date forms will all be placed now so not to think on them as potentially our son or daughter(s) - it helps a bit - only I don't think I can believe me!!!  I'll keep you up to date. 

Love 
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## Mummyof2

Ever - hope the meeting with new sw went well.  We are having our annual review tomorrow with a new sw so know how you feel.  Will need to spend all day cleaning as well! Not that it needs it, you just want everything to be perfect don't you.

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Just about caught up with the news after my weekend in Paris.  Had a fab time, spent far too much money and am totally exhausted but hey ho!

KJ, hope your meet was positive this afternoon and keeping everything crossed for Friday.

Ever, hope your meet went well.

Jennifer, hope tomorrow goes well and they have some more positive news for you.

Sundog, sounds very exciting.  We have to go to panel as well which I think is a good thing.  In our LA the panel approves adopters, makes the decisions on the children and does the matching (not sure if its the same everywhere?) so hopefully its a good thing.

Hi to Mrs T, hope your journey is a relatively smooth one.

Hello to everyone else, sorry no more personals at the mo.

Our panel date has been pushed out to end of Sept due to SW's workload and holidays.  Am fed up but what can you do?  Our HS was so full on with weekly visits and now we are sat here waiting...

Love
OT x


----------



## sundog

OT - our panel is the same in that they have these 3 functions. As far as I know, this is usually the case. This is the reason why the poor old parents generally take lowest priority and as a result it is common for our panel dates to get pushed back. This seems to be almost becoming the norm. 

The reasoning makes sense and I think we all understand that the children's needs must come before our own. The only problem is that in some cases there can be children sitting waiting and no parents available as they have not managed to get through panel, which is what seems to have happened recently in my LA. Catch 22!

So sorry you have fallen foul to this. I know exactly what you mean about being full on with hs then suddenly nothing - we were completely thrown by this. I was lucky in that they recognised the problem that was mounting up and scheduled an extra date (otherwise we would have been waiting until Sep as well). All you can do sit back and enjoy your last few weeks of 'freedom' as I am already getting the distinct impression that once panel is over the real anxieties begin! Good luck.

sundog
x


----------



## Laine

Jennifer,

Hope everything goes ok with the review tomorrow  


No news from me....Hi to everyone else 

Laine


----------



## everhopeful

Hi all
Thanks for your good wishes.

Yes, the meeting went really well and new SW is lovely. 

I'd forgotten the extent of the forms we have to fill in! Some homework already (but secretly I'm quite chuffed, cos I feel we're really starting the process again now) !!

Hopefully we should have dates by next week for our prep course.

ooooh, it's getting exciting!!!


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Ever

Great news on getting back on the rollercoster.

PBMxx


----------



## naoise

HI girls

Sorry I am not going to be able to do personals really as I have got so far behind with everybody I don't know where to start. My head is full of kids and all the organising that has to be done with them, but of course I wouldn't swop it for anything, to be called Mummy at last after eight long years is fantastic.

Ever good for you starting the process again hope all goes well and quickly.

Keemjay I hope that things work OK for you I can't imagine how you are feeling.

Sundog well done on your panel date the time will fly in.

I have to go now as dh has arrived in and as we don't get much time together on our own any more we try to make the most of it.

Love K


----------



## Mummyof2

Laine - thanks for the support.  Can't believe it has taken so long for us both and is still ongoing.  I remember when your adoption timescale band said 7 days and now it says 2 years!  Mine says 2 years and 8 months!  Ridiculous length of time to be waiting, especially as we are both "of a certain age".  I guess you have had your annual review?  I should be tidying up the house but can't get motivated.  

Hi to everyone else.


----------



## superal

Hi Jennifer & Laine - I often think of you both and think surely they will hear something soon, I keep my fingers crossed as I log on to find out, which is not easy!! 

You will be fed up to the back teeth of people telling you to stay focused and hang in there, it doesn't help does it so I'm not going to say it BUT all I will say is believe in yourselves, you are both wonderfull people and will make excellent parents,.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## askingangels

Hello Everyone

Sorry I havent been around much. I have been reading but as I didnt have anything to say I was just lurking in the background.

Anyway sw came yesterday. I thought she was brining completed form f but no. She is half way through and wanted some clarification on some of her notes. She told us Form F would be finished by end June.    I asked her for a panel date and she has said beginning august as we go away for 1 week at the end of august. I wont hold my breath.

Saying that I had an email from her today and she is supposed to be visiting refs next week so we'll see.

Sorry for the me post

Sx


----------



## Mummyof2

Superal - thanks for the kind words.

Askingangels - our panel date kept being put back a month for one reason or another.  It is very frustrating.

Had our annual review last night.  Got to get updated health checks which are less in depth than the original health checks.  Our crb checks are valid for 3 years so no worries there on getting them renewed.  Basically the reviewing sw asked if we still wished to proceed with adoption and asked if there were any significant change in our circumstances ie new job/no job, any structural alterations to the house, more money/less money, any one died/become ill in our support group, had we developed any illnesses in the last year etc.  

She told us that we are worth £22,000.00 to our council if we are approached by a council/adoption body not in our consortium with the offer of a child as they have to buy us from our council!!  If we are linked within the consortium it costs £6K or we might be swapped to save taxpayer's money.  

She said that children coming into the system is cyclical and the next batch of children coming into care will be in September/October/November and then they will need to be processed through the system which takes a couple of months so we won't hear anything until Sep at the earliest regarding a possible linking, although there is no one in the pipeline so far.  She basically said why not get a last minute holiday deal and go abroad.  

She also said it is easier to match families who do not already have a child, either natural or adopted.  Families with a child already tend to wait longer unless they get a sibling of the first adopted child in which case they get priority.

Bye for now


----------



## superal

Hi Jennifer

I was really hoping you would have had some more positive outcome from your meeting with your SW, still it's nice to know you haven't been forgotten and there is something maybe in the pipe lines, fingers crossed!

I don't agree with them saying it's easier to match families who do not already have a child, either natural or adopted and that these families have a longer wait, we are definitely a good example of not waiting to long and with one adopted child already.  DD is not DS sibling either..........well they are now but you know what I mean!!  From beginning to end it took us 9 months to adopt our DD, I think it's more of a case of the area you live in & what kind of child you are willing to take on.

Book a last minute holiday if you can afford it like your SW has suggested and then who knows what will happen??

Hi to everyone else.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## BunBun

Sorry for no personals at the moment but just thought I would pop on whilst I have a few minutes to spare.
Intros last week went very well but were very tiring due to the travelling each day (we had to be at fc at 7am and didn't leave until gone 7pm) and little one came home on Saturday. It has been a lovely week and he seems to have settled in very well, even sleeping through the night.Dh has to go back to work on Monday, so we'll see what happens next week.
Love to you all and I'll catch up soon.


----------



## Mummyof2

Bunbun - huge congratulations to you.  How wonderful.


----------



## keemjay

hi guys
just to say we've had no decision today on whether we are able to go ahead with littlie..the judge felt it too complicated  and wants it to be heard by another more qualified judge in the next 7 days..theres loads of nitty gritty and legal stuff but its boring 
really really hoped we would know one way or another today, i'm really not sure how much more we can take 

kj x


----------



## superal

Sorry KJ that you did not get the news you were hoping for.  You have been through so much and deserve a break from all of this heartache and need to know one way or another............don't they realise they are playing with peoples lives!

love
Andrea
x


----------



## Old Timer

KJ, sorry today didn't bring you an answer.  I hope they sort it quickly and stop messing you about.
Love
OT x


----------



## saphy75

KJ sending you big     hun. the not knowing must be unbearable, i hope you get the news you are waiting for in 7 days

pam xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Oh KJ,

I am soooooooooooo sorry they are dragging this out again!. No words can take away your frustration and pain. I just hope and pray that you get the news you so richly derserve very soon.{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

PBMxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi KJ,
I have pm'd you, take care
Love JD x


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

Jennifer - Like Andrea, I too was hoping you would have a more positive outcome to the annual review.  I must say that it's the first time I have heard of children being 'cyclical', it  makes me wonder if they say things to suit the occasion, if you see what I mean!

I too can't believe how long we have both been waiting.  I would never have believed it would go past two years when we started out.  

In answer to your question, no, we haven't had our annual review yet, but guess it's a matter of time   

Andrea - thanks for your supportive and kind words.

KJ - sorry to hear things are still not resolved for you.  I can imagine how frustrated you must be feeling.

Bunbun - congratulations mummy!

Ever - good luck this time around.

Sundog - great news on your panel date.

OT -sorry to hear about the change to your panel date.

Asking angels - hope you hear something soon.

Sanita - hope everything is going ok for you?

Mrs T & Ritzi - good luck with your journey.

Lauren - good to hear that Daisy is doing well.

Jan - glad HS is going well for you 

Laine


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

Laine and Jennifer- i too am so suprised that you are still waiting for your children-  to you all

Jennifer- our SW said we are worth £30k to them if our children come from another area! 

hi to everyone else- thinking of you all- chat is still on every weds and your all welcome- be lovely to get some more of you in there on a weds night

well we have some good news about our house- our MP is fantastic as has got it sorted so we could be "coded" for a 3bed house- i rangthem friday to confirm this and also ask about other areas in our town as there list made no sense to me as its coded, got off the phone and within 5 mins our housing officer rang with a house! its lovely and in a perfect area for a family and its 3 bed- have been round the estate 4 times now to check it out (3last night and once today) have to ring monday to confirm we want a formal offer of it! am so so happy- now we just have to get in and get to panel and we then can relax!

massive hugs

Mez
x


----------



## sundog

MJ That's great news, so glad sense has been seen - how exciting!


----------



## sanita

Hello Everyone

I didn't burst and we have survived week one of our three week intros.   We are absolutlely shattered.  The children are beautiful, loving, funny and in many ways typical 6 and 7 year olds.  They are also one heck of a handful at times.  To be fair to them I think this week has been a bit much for them.  It's not every week you get a new mummy and daddy, get the week off school and spend it being taken from one fun outing to the next.  No wonder they have been overtired and overexcited at times.  

One or two differences of opinion have arisen with FC.  She is a lovely woman who has worked wonders with the kids over the last two years, but of course they do things differently in their house to how we will do things.  

Today is a day off.  We are living away from home in the main, which means less travelling, but I am glad to be home today in my own environment.

The children come to see our house for the first time mid week and next weekend they will stay with us at our house.  We are looking forward to intros moving into our territory.  There has been the inevitable problems at FCs when we say No to something so then run and ask FM and she says Yes.   

There is also some conflict over moving day.  At the planning meeting a date was suggested, but FC is pushing hard for a moving day 5 days later than suggested.  The SWs haven't made a decision and decided to leave it until our review meeting next week to set a definite moving date.  There are some social events that FC wants the children to attend which is why she is pushing for a later date.  An extra 5 days of intros is not appealing to us, but we are trying not to get hung up about it in case the SWs are persuaded by her.

Sorry for the me post, but I have a stack of washing, ironing, shopping etc to do today before we leave home again.  We have our meeting with BM tomorrow morning.

love Sanita


----------



## sundog

Great to hear from you Sanita, you have been in my thoughts such a lot last week. It sounds like things are going really well. I can imagine it must be hard at times, for you trying to integrate into someone else's life yet retain your own ideas & principles, for the fcs for having their lives open to scrutiny for a couple of weeks and most of all for the kids - what a huge transition for them to make. Are the social engagements things that they kids have been expecting and looking forward to attending? If so, it may cause some resentment if they were told they could not do so. If it is more for the benefit of fc then it really shouldn't come into it! Also, assuming the stay over at your house is a success, is it usual to them pop them back into their old environment for a week? I am sure the SWs will agree that it makes sense to leave them in their new home if they have made a good transition...

Are you feeling like Mummy yet?

Loads of love and strength for the rest of intros. Very excited for you bringing them home later this week  

Sundog
x


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Sanita – wow things are certainly moving on, it won’t be long until your children are home with you for good.  Both yours and the children’s emotional states have been pushed to the max, and I am sure FC will be finding this pretty stressful as well. Sounds like you are all trying to make the most of the position you are in just now and doing the best for your little ones.  Hope things move nice and smoothly for you all and you catch up on some rest.  

Mez – great news on your house sounds like its going to be the perfect home for you and your family.  

Jennifer, Laine & Andrea – hope there is some news for you all soon, we are just starting the ‘waiting’ part of the process after panel approval and already I jump when the phone rings and tear open the post.  DH and I need to discuss what we should be doing in the meantime e.g. do we call LA every month etc……..  

Keemjay – it’s so disappointing that you have to wait again for some news, hang on in there. xx

Bunbun – glad everything is going well with intros. 

Askingangels – sorry to read that your forms were not completed, really annoying, hopefully things will stay on track for you now (keep e-mailing!!!).

Love to everyone

Misty C
xxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Hil All

Just a quickie as I'm at work.

Jennifer, I can't believe how frustrating things have been for you.  I'm not sure I follow this cyclical thing your SW is talking about.  I hope that you have some better luck in the Autumn.

Laine, same goes for you, fingers crossed your time will come.

BunBun, glad to hear the intros are going well.

Sanita, hang in there, sounds like FC doesn't want to let them go but the fact of the matter is that you are the ones who will be taking them home in the end.

KJ, sorry that things are being dragged out, hopefully it will be the right outcome in the end.

love to everyone else, better get back to work.

Cindy


----------



## Viva

Hi all, 
Just typed and lost a reply and as I am on my lunch break at work I need to be quick.

Sanita, good to hear how you intro's are going, I hope you get clarity  on the moving in date soon, you'd have thought if the social events were that important FC might have mentioned it before the intro's started! At least you know that you will be taking them home!!!

Bunbun, good to hear how things are going with you too and that your littlie is settling in.

Laine and Jennifer, am really think of you both, I'm not at all sure what shape I will be in if we're still waiting in a year...patience has never been my strong point and I admire yours!

MJ great news about your house, I bet you can't wait to move in now!

Keemjay, words fail me....I just hope and pray that you get the news that you long for this week.

Love to all.
Viva
XXX


----------



## keemjay

just heard the hearing is now NEXT wedneday..friggin Nora  am so close to throwing the towel in before i have a nervous breakdown


----------



## Viva

Keemjay..I have no words...
...................................but will keep thinking of you and praying for you.
Viva
XXX


----------



## superal

BEEP hell!! KJ that's all I can say, you know your a saint don't you, roll on next week now.

Misty - thanks for the message but I'm not waiting for a placement, I think my lovely husband would have a heartache if we had another one.  I'm one of the "oldest" as in how many years I have had my children.  I would like another but then I think I'm being greedy when there are so many waiting and my 2 are the loves of my live.

Hope everyone else is OK, not looking foreward 2 tomorrow, result of number 2 assignment, keep your fingers crossed that I've got an A again.

Lover
Andrea
xx


----------



## jilldill

KJ, !!! role on Wednesday, boy do you need some peace and an end to this!
Love JD x


----------



## superal

OK a quick "ME" post...............got my 2nd assignment back today and got..................an............A!!

Am I chuffed to bits or what! 

I think I did very well considering we had a bereavement in the family half way through my assignment.

SORRY for the ME post but had to tell everyone and that includes my friends on here!!
Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Misty C

Ooops Andrea - what a bloomer I'm such a ditz sorry!!  Although I am sure you could find room for a littlie.....  Mega congratulations on your A!

Keemjay - grab those towels and throw them around a bit, scrunch them up, jump up and down on them and get out all that frustration you will no doubt be feeling - but don't throw them in.  You have come so far and fought so hard, stay with it.  I will pray you have all your answers next Wednesday. 

Love to everyone
Misty C
xx


----------



## Viva

Well done superal, you should be very pleased with yourself.... 
Viva
XXX


----------



## ritzi

hi all

thank you for the welcome  

i'm still catching up with the thread but wanted to say 

superal - well done on the A!

kj - reading what you have been going through the last few weeks is awful   but hang in there....

sanita - so pleased for you with intros etc.....we too are interested in 'older' siblings so i look forward to regular updates about how family life is going for you  . is BM birth mother? if so how did the meeting go?

MJ - fantastic news on the house   the catch 22 thing isn't great......

well as for me - Barnados SW is coming on thursday    besides investing in some seriously yummy biscuits what else do i need to do? am cleaning like a mad lady already, but am acutely aware that due to moving house in april we are still 'moving in' and both our bathroom floors have been pulled up to replace the radiators - so while they are functional the lino needs replacing - do they worry about stuff like that or will they see that our house is a work in progress? (amazing the stuff i am worrying about!).  Any words of wisdom (or a stray valium) would be appreciated!  

ritz.


----------



## Viva

HI Ritzi, 
I'm sure that things will go well with your meeting. They probably won't be too concerned about the house until they do your home safety check and that tends to get done near the end, so I sure they'll be able to see that your house is a work in progress. Our SW also told us that they can be put off if the house is too clean and tidy (I think they worry you're a neat freak and won't cope with the mess that comes with Kids!) which is great as far as I'm concerned!
Viva
XXX


----------



## Misty C

Hey Ritzi

Don't worry about your house at the moment, SW will only want to know at this stage if you have a bedroom for your future son/daughter that is suitable (i.e. it has a window, its big enough for a single bed, wardrobe space etc..). 

I was convinced our SW department had a leader board on who provided the best biscuits or sandwiches in the area!

Good luck
Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## ritzi

sandwiches   thought i was doing well with the choccie biccies  

ritz.


----------



## Misty C

Don't panic.  I'm a choccie biccie girl too - only my DH would eat them all during SW'rs after work visits and before I had the chance to bring in the tea!  I WAS trying soooo hard to get to the top of leader board ,  I had to put SOMETHING else out to divert his attention to let me and SW get a biccie!!  
Love
Misty 
xxx


----------



## magenta

is anyone going to the chat room tonight? Will be there til 9pm if I have company (hint hint) then I am going to watch nicky campbell on BBC1.


maggie xx


----------



## Misty C

Maggie

Can't believe it - I am going out tonight and I am wanting to try this chat room I keep hearing about.  Can you tell me more about it e.g. does it take place every night at the same time, how do I get into the room, do I need a password etc... Have to say I am imagining some sort of Harry Potter magical room of requirement with wizards and wands and silvery floating ghosts!  

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

Ritzi- dont panic about your house- the day we sent our application off we got the letter form the counicl about buying the house we live in (its part of a big regeneration area) and its not stopped us one bit and we move house in the next few days and go to panel in just over 7weeks! we just did tea/coffee and biscuits and that was fine. good luck

Misty- chat is on every weds night from 7.30 ish on wards- if you go ionot the main chat room and then double click on the adoption room it will ask you for a password(i will PM you this) its very easy- chat is on every weds night- *********

hi to everyone else

more news on our house move- rang the regeneration team today and they said they pay and book our removal van plus someone comes and disconnects and reconnects our washing machine and cooker! so less work for me and DH which is fab! booked to move mon 23th or tue 24th which means we have about a week to paint and carpet the house before our stuff gets moved in! we are going to child/baby proof the house to a degree due to the fact that we have a young niece and nephew plus we are then set up for a match!

please note chat will be on tonight however only till 9pm due to wanting to watch the adoption prog

hugs

xxx


----------



## Misty C

Thanks MJ - in my diary for next Wednesday. 
Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## jilldill

Hi MJ,
Thanks for the password but I could'nt get into the chat room it just wouldn't open.
JD x


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

Sorry for being AWOL. My laptop broke, I could only get online at the gym, but it wouldn't let me sigh in so I have been using the site as a guest so couldn't post!!!

Ritzi - Hello and welcome, we chatted on the Vets thread, sorry that your last tx didn't work, all the best for your new journey......this one has a definate baby at the end of it  

Superal - Clever old you, well done on your A, i don't think I got an A in my whole life.

Keemjay - Gosh you are really going through it. Hopfully not much longer to wait to hear, i have everything crossed for you.

Hi to Karen, Cindy, Misty, Boomer, Magenta, LD, MJ, Viva, Sundog, Sanita, Laine and everyone else.

we go to panel on Monday. i am really fed up with it all now. People keep asking if I am excited, but I just want it over and done with now. I am fed up with people in our lives. There has been no one from our group (4 of us) matched yet and I am sooooooo fed up of waiting. They were very vague about some "possible" placements, but who know's.

Take Care all of you

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona - don't give up yet honey, your so close, it will happen.

What a horrible wet summer we are having, DD sports day is cancelled for tomorrow which is a shame as she is very competitive and loves running, she's the fastest in her class, beats the boys by a mile and they hate it!!

TFN

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## ritzi

hi all

andrea - what a shame that DD will have to wait to outrun the boys  

fiona - good to 'talk' to you again.....new journey for us but we're very excited....GOOD LUCK for panel and hopefully a match will come up soon  

misty - sw declined a hot drink and a biccie   but had a delicious glass of tapwater instead  

mj - the move sounds very exciting - especially as the regeneration team are helping out  

hi to everyone else  

the visit went very well - barnados sw was lovely   she approved us to proceed to application and once we confirmed we wanted to proceed with barnados she let us know that she will plan for us to be at panel in December    she was with us for 3 hours - and now i have brain ache   as it was quite intense already - but she was so positive about us that one can't help but feel excited  

the plan now is to fill out the application next week and the home study will start within a month. due to my worries re medicals (i have a health problem) we are also going to do that straight away rather than wait till the allotted time near the end of HS...that way we can forget about the worry of it. 

i cannot believe we've now officially started   

ritz.


----------



## everhopeful

Morning all

Just a quick update from me. We've been told that we no longer are required to attend the 3 days prep course, as it's our 2nd time (??!!) and we're starting home study TODAY!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!   

I know we've waited 18mths to start, but it seems to be moving a little quicker than planned now! Eeeeek!
Going away for our first abroad holiday this weekend, and we can't wait. Looked like we planned it just at the right time!

I'll be having a catch up again on our return.


----------



## jan welshy

Still doing hs but SW has said she will contact refs for interviews for beginnning of August and possible panel for October (hope this happens but are being realistic).
Off to south of france tomoorow with 78 kids and 6 other staff for a weeks watersports and white river rafting YIKES!
Speak to you all soon.
L
WelshyXXXXXXX


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Wow Ever, good luck hope it all runs smoothly
Jan, good luck in France 78 kids!!! 
MJ, good luck with the move
Fiona, stick in there your so close now
Ritzi, a hello and welcome from me too

Hello to everyone else
Love JD x


----------



## superal

Good afternoon everyone, another wet horrible day!!

Ever - I was initially surprised that you had to go on your 3 day course for number 2 child but were told it was because you went with a different agency this time.  We also went with a different agency with number 2 child and did not have to go to preparation days again.  Be WARNED the process is quicker without going on the prep days, we were approved and matched within 9 months with a 9 month old baby!!  This could be the same for you to, how good would that be!! 

Jan - Are you mad or what, 78 kids!!  GOOD LUCK!! 

Ritzi - DD is gutted she won't beat the boys at running, she'll just have to run away from them in the playground instead, which is normally the case, not as though I am biased but she is beautiful & the boys do chase her, hence why she is a fast runner!!

Fiona - Don't give up, it will happen, you know we waited a long time for a placement but don't let that put you off, I think SS are being very cautious as to the children they are placing on concurrency at the moment, a friend of mine has said they were (SS) criticised for the kind of children they were placing.  I think you also mentioned that to me before.  Just remember why you are doing this and focus on that thought.

MJ  - will try and join chat night next Wednesday thanks for the PM with the password!! 

KJ - Not many more days now until Wednesday, I really hope that you get the good news that you deserve and you can begin to move forward with this placement, you have been a saint through all of this & you to must remember why you are doing this, although at times I'm sure you have asked yourself why the bl**dy hell are we doing this & what have we done wrong!  The answer is you have nothing wrong but unfortunately things have been taken out of your control and when were not in control of things we are in limbo land, I'll be thinking of you!

Hope everyone else is OK.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## keemjay

thanks andrea, you must be able to read my mind, we are indeed wondering what the hell we're doing  i  wish i could sleep between now and wed. we were going to try and get away camping for a few days but dh's work is suddenly manic and they have been sooo good to him recently that he feels he cant jump ship..

ever - thats great news..wow all of a sudden its all happening for you 

ritzi - glad everythings moving for you too 

MJ - great news on the house 

have good weekends everyone

kj x


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Been AWOL lately due to just being tired!  Work is hectic and I am out 3 nights a week doing my extra childcare experience, by the time I get home and do dinner I just want to go to bed.

Loads to catch up on:

MJ, great news about  the house - hope all goes smoothly now and you get to panel in August.
Ever, great news though I guess a bit of a shock for you.
KJ, I so hope on wednesday you get your answer and can move on from there, fingers crossed with intros.
Andrea, well done on your A.
Fiona, I know how you are feeling!  We've had our panel date moved from end of August to end of September due to SW holiday and workload and I just want this bit over with.  I know the waiting will be hard after but at least we will be approved!

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well and get some decent weather this weekend.
Love
OT x


----------



## Ange K

Hi girls

Keemjay – lots of luck coming your way for next Weds. 

Jan – enjoy your hols! Hope the weather is better than here!

Fiona – good luck for panel on Monday!

Everhopeful – great news that you don’t have do the prep course again – it’s good that you get fast-tracked the second time round!

Thought I’d fill you in on what’s happening with Cup Cake – she’s now got her Care Order and Placement Order and our matching panel is scheduled for next Tuesday. We’ve then got  a placement planning meeting next Thurs to discuss how the intros will work and we’ve been told that they will begin on 30 July….. I get butterflies just thinking about it! – I can’t believe we’re going to meet her in 17 days!!  This week we met up with the foster mum who was lovely – she thinks we’ll fall in love with Cup Cake just as she has and thinks we’ll be perfect for her. She told us lots of funny stories about her – we didn’t stop gabbing – my poor DH hardly got a word in! She has done a dvd for us of Cup Cake and we just keep watching it over and over – she’s so funny running around her garden playing on all her toys.

Hi to everyone!

Ange xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Ange,
I am so happy for you, we want all the intro details when they start!!!
Love JD x


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Ange K - fantastic news!  So pleased its all falling into place and Cup Cake will be home with you both soon. 

OT - your childcare experience sounds exhausting - do you get the weekend off?

Welshy - good luck with the trip to France, wow all those children!

Ever - good news on not attending the course, hope HS went well - you'll be matched soon! 

Ritzi - SW just sounding you out and will bring a big bag to put biccies in next time!!

Fiona1 - good luck on Monday.

Love to everyone I've not mentioned - hope to join in the chat room on Wednesday so will catch up then. 
Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## sanita

Hello everyone,

Just a quickie as the children are due to arrive in the next few minutes to spend the weekend with us.

Week 2 of introductions has gone much better.  We have stuck to the letter of the introductions plan and neither us or the children have ended up so tired.  FM has now admited that she was trying to drag intros into a third week as she is having difficulty letting them go and has now said she will not upset the apple cart at our review on Monday and will go with the flow.  Our SW seems to think that moving in day could be Wednesday, so not long to go now.

We are planning a quiet weekend at our house with them.  Intros has had a negative effect on their behaviour, I guess they are over excited and over tired for much of the time as well as anxious about the changes.  We are making allowances (for now).

We met BM earlier in the week.  What a strange experience that was.  She didn't tell us much about the children or even talk about them much.  I did get emotional at one point when she asked us to make sure that the children have a good life and get the things that she can't give them.   

Sorry for no personals, I am keeping up with all your news when I get chance.

Sundog - Good luck for Panel next week.  I'll be thinking of you even though I know you'll both be fine.

Love Sanita


----------



## superal

Hi Sanita - thanks for sharing your news with us, not long now until your children will be home with you & your DH.

Have a lovely weekend with them, I'm sure you'll have a great time.

Intros are very tiring for all involved, things relax more when your children come home to live with you forever, your not in someone else's house and your not "treading" on toes.  

Glad the FM has seen sense, yes it is hard to let children go when you are attached to them but that was what her role was, a foster Mum.  I'm not having a go at the FM at all as I was a FM to a baby & I was very attached to her & it did break my heart letting her go but I knew that was what could have happened, her being returned to her BPS. (this was via concurrency).

How lovely that the birth Mum although didn't give you lots of information about the children asked you to give them the things she couldn't, I had a tear in my eye when I read that as I think that's what most of our children's BPS want.

Good luck for Wednesday, it will be a strange day but one your going to remember for ever.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## sundog

Hi Sanita, great to hear your next update. It sounds like you are doing the right thing sticking to the plan. Hopefully the behaviour will also settle down if they are less tired & excitable and you should be in more of a fit state to deal with it!

Glad you got to the bottom if the FCs wishes to extend intros. It really can't be easy for her, but when the time is right for the children, that is all that counts. 

How exciting that they are home with you for the weekend - I wonder what you are doing now?! Hope you are enjoying yourselves and that they are settling in well.

Thanks for the well wishes for Tuesday, it's getting so close now!

Love to everyone else

Sundog
x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Everyone,


not been on here in ages!. life has been really hectic and our network at home has been down. 

just been reading through all the news and have probably forgotten most of it, but Sanita, hope youre all having a great weekend. Glad the FM has come around. i was worried when i first read you msg that you might have been about to have the same trouble we had with ours last year, but it sounds like your is a bit more sensible that ours was.

KJ....hope wednesday comes around quickly for you and you get the outcome you deserve. 

Well our news is that we should be moving house in 2 weeks, so its all hectic. Anyone here living in someset?

The biggest pain at the moment is that I've broken my leg. I was playing rigby in switzerland at the time, so most people either laugh or shake their head and tutt when i tell them! It means that i'm reliant on everone else and taxis to get anywhere. I'm definately going to sign up for some private health insurance once its fixed up as the NHS has been dreadful......i'll save you from the specifcs as i'm sick of the story myself!

Can't wait to move to the new house, where we live now is fairly rough....had 2 women fighting outside the house yesterday!. but am a little worried about losing all the family support we have here.....having a broken leg has made me realise how useful it is.

I don't suppose anyone recorded the nicky campbell program? I missed it! I loked at the video nation clip online and theyre really good. Are there more programs coming up on the subject?

Boo is doing great. he had hand foot and mouth disease last week so we were at home all week together. It was a bit frustrating as I could do a whole lot with the broken leg, but it was really nice too. hes such a chatterbox.....favourite word being "Poo". I thought we'd moved on from it but an episode of scoobydoo yesterday had a palace in china called "rampoo". So it started it all again!  

My brain keeps thinking of what we're going to do to get him a sibling. I'm worried that we won't get taken on for a second time until hes quite old, as when we first enquired in somerset (we lived there before) that they would only take us o if we'd consider up to 8 year olds. We'd be happy with an older child but know they want your new child to be at least 2 years younger than your first. DH won't even think about it as he says there's no point until we move and get settled and boos been with us 2 years......why do men have to be so sensible about these things! I just want to think about it! 

anyways, better get back to my sunday lazing!

hope everyone is well,
xxruthie


----------



## sundog

Hi Ruthie, Bad luck about your leg! I did video the program and am happy to send you it. Just be warned that our video recorder is not great and the quality is slightly iffy, but perfectly watchable. If you PM me your address I will get it off to you. Just one thing, you will need to be able to play back 'longplay' recordings.

If I was you I would make fresh enquires with the authorities in and around your area as the conditions keep changing and may not be as restrictive as you think. DH may have a point about geting moving out of the way etc, but it doesn't hurt to enquire!

sundog
x


----------



## fiona1

Sundog - all the best for Tues, we go tomorrow to panel, i will let you know how scarey it is.

Fiona


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Not enough time to do personals tonight, but am thinking of you all.

I can't believe that my adoption leave is up this week and I am due back at work on Wednesday!  It was a dark, dreary January when I finished and it is a dark, dreary July when I am going back.  Am only going to work part-time so only have to do 2 days this week and then start 3 days a week.  Little one has settled really well at nursery so that is a weight off my mind.

I am looking forward to the adoption programmes on BBC 1 this week but I hope they portray the adoption process as it really is and cover the frustrating times as well as the happy times.  Often these programmes skirt over the reality but it should be interesting never the less.

M J - I have PM'd you regarding the chat nights.  Would love to join you all but have not got a clue how to get started.  Please help.

Tracey x


----------



## cindyp

Hi All

Haven't got time for loads of personals but hope everyone is well.

Fiona, all the best for tomorrow.

Ruth, sorry to hear about the leg and Boo's HF&M (been there done that  ), hope the house move goes well.

Sundog, best of luck for Tuesday

KJ, hope you get some good news this week.

Sanita, glad to hear the intros are improving.

One day I will get a new PC that doesn't keep crashing.

love to all
Cindy


----------



## Old Timer

Hi All
Just wanted to wish loads of luck to.....

Fiona - for tomorrow.
Sundog - for Tuesday
KJ - for Wednesday

Sanita, so pleased your intros are going better, hope you've had a good weekend though I guess tiring!

Ruthie, sorry to hear about your leg.  I badly sprained my ankle at christmas, tore ligaments etc, and ended up on crutches for 7 weeks, was a nightmare and that was without littles about.  Hope the move goes well!

Hope everyone is OK, will try to get to the chat night this week.
Love
OT x


----------



## sundog

Thanks all for the well wishes for Tuesday.

Fiona, all the best for tomorrow. Thinking of you and let's make it a double celebration eh!

sundog
x


----------



## keemjay

good luck for tomorrow Fiona    sure you'll be fine 

kj x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Good luck today fiona, for Tuesday Sundog and of course KJ for Wednesday

Ruthie, sorry to hear about your leg lets hope it's soon on the mend

Sanita, hope the intros went well over the weekend

MJ, could you possibly E mail about the chat nights, I just couldn't get past the "your entering the chat room" bit! thanks

love to all JD x


----------



## ritzi

Fiona

GOOD LUCK for today    enjoy! 

ritz.


----------



## Viva

Hi All, 
Just wanted to say all the best for Fiona, Sundog and Keemjay for this week, am hoping that it will be a week of celebrations on the board! Will be thinking of you all.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Just got timed out on my last post so nothing posted    .  Here's a shortened version:

Good luck to Fiona for today, Sundog for tomorrow and Keemjay for Wednesday.  Hope everything goes smoothly. 

Ruthie - sorry to hear about your leg, it sounds like its not keeping you back too much. 

Sanita - my DH keeps asking me if you have posted!  He is loving reading how things are going for you all.  Thankyou for that and please keep us up to date - when you can. 

Tracey - thinking of you this week as you go back to work, its great to read that your little one has settled so well at nursery. 

I'm looking forward to meeting up with friends today - one going through adoption process and another who is a new foster carer.  

Love to everyone
Misty C
xxx


----------



## Lynnm

Good Morning

Good luck to Fiona, Sundog and KJ.  I am looking forward to reading all the celebratory stories this week.  

Sanita - I am so pleased that your intros are going well and the FM has opened up her own feelings to you.  It sounds like you are experiencing an emotional time just now with also meeting the BM. 

TC everyone
Lynn x


----------



## Tarango

Hello everyone,  

I have been more of a lurker recently - I don't think I have really posted after our intro a few weeks ago (no much to say) but I have been keeping up to date with how everyone is doing on here

I just wanted to echo what has already been said and say Good luck to Fiona, Sundog and Keemjay - lets hope there are lots of celebrations coming up!

I'm so glad to hear Sanita's intros are going well and I hope the weekend went well. 

It just seems to read someone is 'getting there' and is becoming a family and that is does actually happen is just amazing for someone like DH & I who have not really started the process yet - it's just brilliant  

Good luck for Wednesday and going back to work Tracey

Nothing to report from Tarango-land, we are just doing a few more bits and pieces to the house. Had a carpet laid today - hall, stairs and landing. The hall is now neutral walls and browns (brown- ish carpet so won't show the dirt) rather than the green and stripey that it was   

 - i like this smiley so have put him in my post  

have a good day
love
t
xx


----------



## fiona1

Thanks for all you best wishes. Will post later and let you know how we get on. Getting a bit nervous now.

Fiona


----------



## saphy75

Good luck girls 

KJ is it wed that you get the final decision ? i've got everything crossed for you 

pam xx


----------



## keemjay

hi Saphy - yes we hope to know one way or the other on wed..but we've no idea what the judge might do/say. if theres more delays we will probably be pulling out to save our sanity.
thanks for everyones good wishes 
Fiona - keep calm hun, you're gonna be fine 
kj x


----------



## Laine

Just sending good luck wishes to Fiona....KJ and Sundog  

Sanita - great to hear things are going well for you  

Tracy- hope everything goes ok on your return to work.

Misty - enjoy your meeting with friends

Ange - good to hear things are going well with Cupcake

Ever - good luck with HS

Jan - enjoy France  

Hi to everyone else.

Laine


----------



## saphy75

> if theres more delays we will probably be pulling out to save our sanity.


KJ i fully understand that hun, i think you are very strong to have got through this far and i've got everything crossed that things go your way on wed  

pam xx


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hey ladies

Fiona- hope today has gone well- thinking of you

Sundog- good luck for tomorrow-will be thinking of you

KJ-Massive hugs- you have been through so much- good luck for weds- am thinking of you

Hi to everyone else-thinking of you all

I am really sorry however i am not going to be able to make chat this weds- we got the keys to our new family home today!  and have so much to paint before sat(carpets getting fitted) that we are spending our evenings there as we both work and neither can get any time off this week - we have mon/tue off next week as we move into the house mon! and getting net/phone/tv installed tue plus unpacking!

hugs

Mez
x


----------



## Caz

Hiay, don't mind me barging in do you?

Just popping by to say wish AngeK loads of luck for her big day tomorrow. 

Love reading your thread here girls. So full of hope and positivity. You are all very special people 

C~x


----------



## fiona1

Mez - Good luck with the house move.

Sundog - I have everything crossed for you tomorrow.

Our news is that we were passed   A bit of a scarey time. We said in our home study that we have smacked Elliot and that didn't go down well. i said we were only being honest and he hasn't been smacked for over a year and only ever on the hand. we understand that we couold never smack a foste child, anyway after a panic the chair came in and said the panel were recommending us for approval. It goes to the decision maker and we hopefully get the final YES on fri or Mon.

They also have a few "possibles" in the pipeline around Sept, so fingers crossed.

it was a really emotional day, that said that Dh spoke from the head and heart and I was more researved, that had come out in the Home Study already. I know when I am nervous i sit there like i have got a poker up my a**e and I am as stiff as a board, but it is just nerves.

Must go I am knackered.

Fiona


----------



## jilldill

Great news Fiona, I was hoping you would write with news before I headed off to bed.
Love JD x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

GOOD LUCK SUNDOG for today  

GOOD LUCK ANGEK for today  

KJ thinking of you 

Fiona- welldone- hope you get the official yes on Fri!

hugs

Mez
xxxx


----------



## keemjay

YAY Fiona, well done    forget about it all now, you've been approved and thats that

GOOD LUCK Sundog for today  
and ooh had forgotten about your matching panel today AngeK - GOOD LUCK to you and cupcake too  

MJ - great news about house, how exciting to be moving to your new 'family home'

kj x


----------



## Misty C

Congratulations Fiona, its a great feeling to be passed at panel and I'm really pleased to hear there may be a son/daughter ready to come home in September, wow!

Thinking of both Sundog and Ange K today. xxxx

MJ I will miss you tomorrow in the chat room tomorrow, hope the move is smooth. 

Tarango - loved your smiley's.    

Love to Ritzi, Cindy, Laine, Keemjay, Tracey, OT, Jilldill, Caz, Ruthie, Lynn, Pam  and anyone else I may have missed.

Misty C
xxxx


----------



## Mummyof2

GOOD LUCK SUNDOG for today  

GOOD LUCK ANGEK for today  

Andrea - well done you - another A.  Fantastic.  My son's sports day at his school was cancelled as well.

KJ - poor you - big hugs coming your way for the additional delay.

Sanita - sounds like all is going well.

MJ - thank goodness sense has been seen and well done you for pursuing it so strongly.

Ritzi - our sw only ever accepts a coffee when she comes to our house and she only ever seems to drink half of that!

Ruthie - poor you, breaking your leg.

Tracie - thinking of you going back to work.

Fiona - Fantastic news.  Let's hope your wait is short but don't hold your breath!  The waiting has been very hard for my son so hope your son doesn't have to wait too long.

We have been on holiday in Weymouth and got back at the weekend, hence the absence.  We came back to a letter regarding our adoption annual review and we have been approved as continuing to be potential adopters (didn't realise that the review meant we could be "chucked off"!).  Still have to have our medical update before 3rd of August.  We have been asked by our SW to be interviewed by officials carrying out an inspection into our LA's adoption procedure, in September.  Can't wait to tell the inspectors our side of things!!  No news on a child as per usual.

Our eldest cat (19) has passed away.  Someone in our street decided she must be a stray as her fur was thinning and a little matted and she was thin (common in old age) so scooped her up and took her to the vets where she stayed overnight until I tracked her down.  Luckily I found out what had happened to her and rang the vets to say I would be coming to collect her.  Unfortunately she died of respiratory failure, probably brought on by the trauma of being whisked off, before I got to the vets.  Then the same person in our street   (presumably) rang the RSPCA and reported neglect and ill treatment to them so I had a visit from an RSPCA Inspector, who checked over my other 3 cats.  As my cats are all very well looked after the inspector said no further action would be taken and the informer would be told that there was no case to answer as I had not neglected nor been cruel to my cat(s) in any way.  All very upsetting and the outcome was that my poor cat had died alone and away from home, although at her advanced age it could have happened at any time but I had hoped she would go in her sleep in her basket.  I know that the person thought they were doing right by my elderly cat but it doesn't change the outcome.    

Bye for now and special hi to Cindy and JD.


----------



## Misty C

Welcome back Jennifer

I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely old cat, don't be too hard on yourself on not being with her when she passed away.  She was with loving and caring people in a cosy warm environment and would have been fed and had fresh water and petted and talked to.  I can understand how frustrated you must feel, in a strange way everyone - even this person who picked her up - were all fussing and caring over her, she sounds like a very special cat who obviously had the very best of care through her life to live to such a wonderfully old age (I think its 80 in cat years).  

I didn't know we could be booted off the adoption list after a review - but then I didn't know we would need to be 'reviewed' so thoroughly every year until you mentioned it earlier!  

Love 
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## keemjay

aw jennifer, so sorry to hear about your cat  i think Misty has said it all, very well i might add, I'm sure your cat was in the 2nd best possible place foer the end of her long and lovely life with you 

kj x


----------



## Mummyof2

Thanks Misty and Kj.  I'm coming to terms with it but it is still hard as she is missed.


----------



## Ange K

Hi girls
Thank you for your kind wishes. Just heard that we’ve been officially matched! !! The agency decision maker just has put her rubber stamp on this within the next few days but our sw doesn’t see any problems with that at all. We’ve got our placement planning meeting on Thurs and introductions should start on 30th. Still can’t believe it! I can start shopping for Cup Cake now!

Fiona – congratulations on passing panel! Let’s hope things move fast for you now.

Jennifer – I’m so sorry to hear about your cat. It can’t have been nice for you coming home to the news.((hugs))

Keemjay – crossing my fingers for you for tomorrow.

Misty – how are things with you ?

Sanita – sounds like your introductions went well. We’ve been warned that they are quite draining!

Ruthie – What a nightmare having a broken leg! Hope you get lots of help when you move house!

Tracey – hope you settle in at work ok – working 2 days is nice – I work for my DH in the office 2 days a week and it’s very civilised!

Caz – thanks for your wishes. Looking forward to meeting up soon!

Sundog – good luck for today!

Hi to everyone else!

Ange xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Jennifer, thanks for the mention and I am so sorry about your lovely cat! I know how distressing it is loosing a pet without the added upset of how it all happend, take care

Ange, wayhey!!!! fantastic news you'll be meeting your lovely little Cupcake soon I am so happy for you

KJ, thinking of you tomorrow I have everything humanly possible crossed for you

Misty, hope you are doing ok

Love to Magenta, Cindy, Barbarella, Karen, Ever, PBM, Supereal, Pam, Laine, Sanita, Casey, Naoise and everyone I have missed.

Love JD x


----------



## sundog

Whoopee! We are officially approved! We had to wait 1.5 hours before meeting the panel as they were running late but they kept us informed and apologised for the wait. The chair person also came and told us what they were going to ask us questions about so that we could start to think about our answers, which was really nice although that made me more nervous! There were just 4 questions; to me they asked about my teenage depression and how I make sure I can cope now as well as about how/why I got into teaching. DH was asked about his heritage and also about his work arrangements as he currently works away from home but will relocate before matching. Nothing too tricky. We literally left the room for just one minute before they called us back in to tell us that they all agreed that we would be lovely parents and that we were approved. I then cried! We have just got back from going out for lunch and a glass of wine. We got carried away tho and forgot that we had to top up the parking meter and have now got a £30 parking ticket to pay. Can't do anything but laugh about it tho   

We are going on holiday at the end of next week for 2 and a half weeks which is pretty good timing, so we have to just try not to think about the next step until we get home. Enough about me...

Fiona - congratulations! Good feeling isn't it!

Jennifer, so sorry about your cat. I know exactly how you must feel and it is an extra blow to the guts to have to justify that you look after your cats. I do feel for you.

Ange, congratulations on the official match. You must be so excited! 

Keemjay, all the best for tomorrow. Lets hope Fiona, you and me make it a hat trick. Everything is crossed. 

Love to everyone else. 

sundog
x


----------



## keemjay

well done sundog    you've done it!   about the parking meter..maybe try and appeal it, perhaps enhance the details slightly about panel running over ..could even get your sw to write a  note explaining it 

ok, I'm ready to take the baton, I'll try not to let the team down tomorrow, should know lunchtime-ish and have sw's, coming over after 2 to discuss whatever the outcome is. thanks for everyones wishes, i've said it before but I'll say it again, if love, positive thinking and prayers were the answer then we will get the answer we deserve..so many people want this so much for us 

love to all

kj x


----------



## sundog

Nice idea, but it was when we were having our boozy lunch that we forgot to feed the meter. Only ourselves to blame, and I am feeling so happy I really cannot bring myself to start a debate over it, don't think we would have a chance in hell of being let off!

Good try tho - thanks!


----------



## sanita

Sundog - Well done again.  I know I already said it, but this is the official public congratulaions.

Another intros update.

We had a fabulous weekend with the children at our house.  It was lovely to have them to ourselves, on our territory.  All of their toys are now at our house so they had lots to play with and on Sunday morning they even played nicely together for a couple of hours without thumping each other!  We walked the dog, took them to the park (where they nearly gave DH a coronary playing tag with him), went to an indoor soft play park and also took them out for sunday lunch (where Princess opened a fire door and set off the fire alarm throughout the restaurant   )

Taking them back on Sunday was difficult.  The children seemed confused about why they were going back and they went into meltdown in the back of our car for the last part of the journey back to the FCs.  It then got worse when we got back to FCs, both children were out of control and wouldn't even say goodbye to us.  I felt awful walking out of the FCs and leaving them to deal with the children in such a state.

The review meeting on Monday went as we expected and moving in day is tomorrow.  We are not seeing the children today as they are having a goodbye day with school and FCs etc.

We are expecting FM to be distraught tomorrow, but the children's SW will be present for the handover and the FMs support worker will also be there.  Our SW has advised us to be in and out with the kids.  We have got the Foster family a card and a present from us.  We thought about getting cards and presents for her from the kids too, but I think that would tip her over the edge if she is trying to hold it together in front of the kids so we decided not to do that.

Sorry for the 'me' post again.  I know there is a lot going on for some of you and I will get back to doing personals again when things are more settled.

love Sanita

PS Anyone know how to get tomato based food stains out of kids clothes?


----------



## Misty C

Congratulations Sundog, great to hear the news you are both approved, have to admit I had a snigger about the parking ticket - nothing personal - but who could think straight after such news, and I remember concentrating more on my glass of wine and food as well!

Ange K - still loving reading your news, you have been such a great support to me when I first started posting on this site (time has flown) and I have watched your story with such interest, and here you are a mum-to-be, a huge congratulations.  

Keemjay - the batons yours, we are all behind you 100%  xxx   xxx  

Sanita - Good luck tomorrow I am sure there will be lots of bubbling emotions from everyone.  How amazing to think that in less than 24 hours your kids will be home with their mum and dad and - their new life begins.  Now I'm feeling emotional!

Love to everyone
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## fiona1

Sundog - Fantastic well done, i have everything crossed for a quick match for you.

Sanita - Sounds like tomorrow will be very emotional. i will be thinking of you all.

KJ - Good luck tomorrow. i hope this is the end for you and you can finally put this to rest. I have everything crossed for you.

Fiona


----------



## superal

Wow what a busy board at the moment!!

Fiona - Congratulations on being officially approved, role on September with one of the possibilities coming your way??

AngeK - Congratulations at matching panel, go on go and have a spending spree now!!

Sundog - Congratulations to you to, lets hope you don't have to long of a wait for a suitable match.

KJ - Thinking of you & your DH, one thing is for sure you will definitely know tomorrow and my thoughts and good wishes are with you, along with everyone else's on these boards!!

Sanita - The FM will most probally fall apart and your children might do as well.  When our DS left his FM she was crying and he got upset and when we pulled around the corner he burst out crying, really heart wrenching sobs, I thought oh my god what do I do, apart from the obvious of saying its OK to cry and get upset.  I put my hand in my pocket and pulled out some sweets, pear drops of all things & told DS they were happy sweets and if he had one they would make him happy, the tear stopped and he quickly wanted another one!!  Enjoy tomorrow it will be tiring but the rest of your family life starts then!!

Jennifer - So sorry to read about your cat, i know what it is like to loose a beloved "furbaby" I still miss my dog, a year later.

Hi to everyone else, got to go and cook some tea & ask DH when he comes home why have air miles been on the phone for him, I'm going to be really disappointed aren't I when he says he's cashing some in or something like that when all I can think is he's planning a suprise brake!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## keemjay

sanita - I'm sure tomorrow is going to be really emotional for everyone, sending you strength and cyber-hankies. hope your first day with them home properly goes well, bet you cant wait to tuck them up in their forever-beds 

ooh superal, how exciting, or not as the case may be, hope it is something nice 

kj x


----------



## Mummyof2

Sundog - huge congratulations to you and dh - annoying about the fine though.

Sanita - tomato based things are very difficult to get out of clothes.  You need to soak the stain straight away after it has happened but if it dries it sinks in, especially cotton.  If it's a white item bleach will get it out.

Thanks for all the support re my poor cat.


----------



## cindyp

Just did a post but my PC crashed so this is a quick one before it crashes again  

Fiona and Sundog, congratulations to you both, fingers crossed for a quick match.

Ange, great news about Cupcake, won't be long.

Jen, sorry to read about your cat, must have been so sad after so long.  i really hope you get some good news this summer.

KJ, best of luck for tomorrow.

Sanita, glad things are going well.

love to everyone else.

Cindy


----------



## Lynnm

Good Evening

There is lots of lovely good news around just now, it is lovely to read.  Well done to Fiona and Sundog, well KJ they say everything comes in 3s!!! Here is tomorrow for you honey 

Sanita - I will be thinking of you tomorrow too.  I thought that was a lovely idea getting a gift for the FM.  I look forward to reading your news.  Re the stain: I think it is best to try and get it at the start.  But try Vanish OxyAction, that is quite good.  A few months ago my goddaughter had an 'accident' with our chocolate fountain and her top was totally covered in dripped chocolate, the only thing that took it out was 'Carpet Power' - carpet shampoo.  When I showed her mum her top the next day she could not see sign of any stains at all..

AngeK - That is so fab about your matching panel.  You must be so pleased.  Enjoy your spending spree on Cup Cake.

Hi to everyone else.

Lynn xx


----------



## BunBun

Just a quick one, whilst little one is happily playing.
Fiona & Sundog - congratulations to you both.
Ange - congratulations & enjoy your time before Cupcake arrives home with you.
Jen - so sorry to hear about your cat.
Sanita - all the best for today, it is lovely to hear that your children will be coming home.
Andrea - did you have a nice surprise from your dh?
KJ - you & your dh are in my thoughts for today, sending you     for the outcome you both so much deserve.
A big hello to everyone else not mentioned.
Things are going well & little one has settled in very well, it seems that he has been here forever. We are just trying to get him out of his very strict schedule and have slowly been changing things and he seems much happier. Sw's are very happy and yesterday he went to his first mother & baby group, which he enjoyed.
I'll catch up with you all again soon.


----------



## sunfish

Wishing KJ & DH lots and lots of  today

love

Camilla


----------



## saphy75

KJ sending loads of                  your way hun

pam xx


----------



## Ange K

Hi Girls
Congratulations Sundog! It’s a lovely feeling when they come out of the room and give you the good news you’ve been waiting for! Bit of a pain getting a parking ticket though. Enjoy your hols!

Keemjay – fingers crossed for you today

Sanita – loads of luck coming your way for tomorrow – you must be so excited to have them home finally!

Misty – it’s a nice feeling after years of coming on FF, to finally be getting the chance to be a mummy!

Andrea – hope you get a nice weekend away with your airmiles!

I’ve been looking the The Great Little Trading Company website and The Sleepover Company website – some gorgeous things. Trying to decide on storage for Cup Cake’s bedroom – so much choice.

Hi to Cindy, Jennifer, Fiona, JillDill, Lynn, BunBun and everyone else I’ve not mentioned!

Ange x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Just a quick bit of good news from me! We finally have a court date for next week. It is a relief as there has been alot of messing and certain people turning up to object to it all at the final hour! 
Love JD x


----------



## keemjay

Hi all
sorry to let the team down but the batons been dropped, theres no good news
Its all terribly legal and technical but in a nut shell the judge does not think that our agency acted appropriately in the way they dealt with littlies case. he wants things to be investigated at a 3 day hearing 'sometime in Sept' and the other woman may also get her demands met then, which would mean prob even further delays while applications are put in etc.. 
we are pulling out now, the whole thing is a complete joke and our agency have clearly let us down very badly. None of this is in the 'Best interests of the child' PAH thats just a popular buzzword that means $hit at the end of the day
Our SW is coming over in a min to discuss things in more depth
Littlie just wasnt meant to be ours but its so devastating to let her go when her little clothes are here waiting and her cot sitting ready
life must go on but i dont think i've ever felt so close to my heart breaking
thanks to you all for your unending support 

love kj and dh xx


----------



## saphy75

Kj i'm so sorry hun, i don't know what else to say   i'm gutted for you all  

pam xx


----------



## Misty C

Oh Keemjay & DH

I've been waiting for your post and am so sorry to hear your news.  I have to confess to shedding some tears for you both.  I know it doesn't feel like it just now, but there is someone else who is very small and loving waiting for you out there for you to be their mum and dad, and I pray things will go more smoothly for you.  

I hope SW can stand up and take responsibility for such a mess.  You both have been through so much.

Sending you a huge  .

Love to everyone. 

Misty C
xxx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi KJ,

so sorry to hear your news! You must be so angry and upset. I'm not sure there is anythign i can say that will make you feel any better, but just to let you know we are all thinking of you,

xxruthie


----------



## sundog

Oh Keemjay, I am so sorry. You must be devastated. It is very admirable to be able to say enough is enough now, that can't be easy. You will need a bit of time out from it all now I am sure, but I really hope that you bounce back ready to start again as there really is a little person who is destined to be your little boy or girl. Lots of love and hugs,

sundog
x


----------



## Ange K

KeemJay - I don't know what to say - you must be so upset and angry. Thinking of you. (((hugs)))

JillDill - well done on getting your court date - how long have you had to wait?

Ange x


----------



## Lynnm

Hello

KJ - I am so sorry to read your news.  You and your DH really have gone through the mill on this    

Take Care
Lynn x


----------



## fiona1

KJ - I really don't know what to say that hasn't been said already. I am so angry that you have been put in this position. 

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## superal

KJ - so sorry to read this bad news, I think for what it's worth you are right to pull out and protect yourself and your DH, I'm thinking of you & I hope you've given those SW a damm good ear bashing for everything they have put you through.

This little one was not meant to be and I hope and pray that your next little one is just around the corner, I'm a great believer in fate. ( Have sent you a PM)

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Laine

Just popping in.....

Jennifer - sorry to hear about your cat (((((hugs)))))

Sundog, Ange K & Fiona - Congrats!

Jilldill - great news on the court date

Keemjay - so very sorry to hear your news  

Sanita - lovely to read your updates 

Hi to everyone else....no news from me.

Laine


----------



## Mummyof2

Jilldill - great news on the court date - how exciting.

Keemjay - so very very sorry to hear your dreadful news


----------



## Suzie

Keemjay -  words fail me. look after yourselves 

xx


----------



## sanita

KJ - So sorry to hear your news.  I really hoped that the outcome would go your way, but I think you have been patient enough.  I think there is only so much anyone can be expected to take.  Sending you lots of love.

Sanita


----------



## jilldill

KJ,
I am so upset for you both for all you have been through. You WILL be a Mummy and Daddy and my God what good ones you will be. I think all of us on here just take our hats off for the way you have dealt with this appalling situation with such strength and dignity. You have the support of each and every one of us here and next time it will be meant to be and you will bring your littlie home.
If you could get a few days away I think it would do some good, please take care and pm if you need me,
Love Jill x


----------



## Viva

KJ, 
I am so disappointed for you but think that you are totally right to pull out now, you have certainly stuck with it longer than a lot of people would have, I agree with Gilldill, take time to look after yourselves and have some me time. I know I speak for everyone when I say that I hope it won't be long before you are posting on here with some good news.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## TraceyH

KJ - I can only echo the sentiments of everyone else.  Well done for sticking it out so long you are far more patient than me.  Lots of love and hugs. 

Tracey x


----------



## sunfish

Dear KJ & DH

I don't know what to say, I think the rest of the FF family here have said it all. 

much love & many hugs to you both

Camilla


----------



## ritzi

kj - so so sorry to hear of todays update  

ritz.


----------



## jilldill

Hi Ange,
Sunshine moved in in November 06, so it's been around 8 months to get to court.
love JD x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

KJ-  i am so sorry that you and your family have had to go through this- we are all here to support you- one day soon you will be a family and the right children are out of there somewhere. you have not let anyone down by the decision you have now made.

hi ladies- house is coming along nicely- just had a bit of glossing to do tonight.

will be back posting again next week properly - only 6 weeks tomorrow till panel! AHHHHHHH 

hugs

xxx


----------



## alex28

KJ - im so so sorry to have to log on and read this news from you.  I agree with sundog in that the devastation you are feeling must be unbearable but you are heck of a strong women to be able to say enough is enough and move on - as hard as it seems - you will bounce back im sure and have the unending support of everyone on this forum. 

Alex xxxxxx


----------



## keemjay

thank you all so much   
as utterly awful as this is, it can only be better than the limbo we have been in for the last 2 months. 
I feel our story has somewhat marred this thread for too long now and I'm sorry. I dont want it to put people off because the majority have a much easier ride, we've just been very very unlucky. 
I look forward to reading all the happier news over the next few weeks
lots of love to you all 
and thank you again for helpingme and dh get through this  

kj x


----------



## saphy75

KJ you have not marred this thread hun  that's what we are here for, to support eachother through good and bad times (sounds like a marriage doesn't it) you are right though you have been very very unlucky hun but next time it'll be different  

take care and if i can help with anything even if you just need to sound off, just give us a shout and i'll give you my msn or mobi no.

pam xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi KJ,

you sound like you're being a lot braver than i would be. 

Alex, sent you a PM but your box is full....it was just baout living in somerset as we're baout to move there next week,

xruthie


----------



## superal

Hi KJ don't YOU ever feel as though you need to apologise to us on here, like Pam has said the most important thing about this website and this thread on adoption is about the help and support that we can all offer each other.  Sorry if it sounded as though I was coming over harsh when I wrote YOU but I'm sure you know what I mean!!

Well I asked DH what arimiles was all about to be met with oh they want to sort out the gas and electricity out for us as they have now branched out into something else, sounds fishy to me but I'm going to do a search on the web in a bit to find out if there is any truth in this, a bit disappointing if he is telling the truth as a weekend break away i would just love at his moment in time!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Old Timer

KJ
I am so very sorry to read your news, you have really been through it over the last couple of months and you must be devastated.  Am gutted for you all.
Love
OT x


----------



## Charliegirl

Hi KJ,

I just wanted to add a few words for you too. I can only imagine how hard it's been for you and DH recently. You will get there, and the little one will be so lucky to have such a dedicated, dignified and selfless Mummy and Daddy.

I can't wait to read your good news-I'm sure it won't be long.

With love,

Charlie. x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

am totally exhausted this morning.....am at work but can't get motivated so thought I'd write on here for a couple of minutes and let the coffee work its magic!

I've been trying to stay up to watch the "family wanted" series this week.....but its sooo late for me! Last nigths was a bit disconcerting. I could understand the scottish guy and his take on tracing his BM, and how he wasn't looking for a new family, just to put the pieces together. But the other guy seemed so full on....he'd obviously never felt part of his adoptive family. He said that as both his parents worked they didn't have time for him. I don't know if i didn't warm to him because he epitomises my fears for when boo is older, or just cos he seeemed a bit of a whinger......what did you guys think?

xxruth


----------



## BunBun

KJ and dh, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this yet again and I'm totally lost for words.


----------



## superal

Hi Ruth - sorry did not get to see the programme either but thought I would reply to your question about your fears over Boo when he is older.

Our Ds came to live with us just short of his 4th birthday, he'd spent a while in foster care & i don't really want to give to much more away about him but he is now 14 & at times when he has had a bad day at school or something has not gone the right way for him he blames this on him being adopted!

Don't worry read on............it's not because he's adopted that he's had a bad day or whatever but more of a case of he is turning into an adult and there are hormones flying around his body and he doesn't know what is happening to him so he blames it on him being adopted all for about 5 minutes!

We let him calm down and usually within 5 minutes he has come down and said I'm sorry i said it's because I'm adopted it's not that at all, I'm very grateful that I've got you both as my parents & I love you all very much, this includes his little sister, who normally he argues with......just like brothers and sisters do! 

Ususally when this happens it opens the door way for us to ask him questions not the other way around, as we can say to him what is it that you want to know or find out, usually he says I don't want to know I'm happy here & I'm sad that I've blamed what has happened on me being adopted.

For a young man of 14 he has his head screwed on the right way, he is a normal healthy happy teenager, growing taller and stronger & handsome as each day goes by & yes there will be a time when he may turn around and say i want to find out more but we offer him those opportunity's and he always says no, I'm not saying it's going to be like this with everyone but I think I'm one of the only ones who has adopted on this board a child that age & don't let the programme you watched worry you to much, just enjoy parenting Boo.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## saphy75

Andrea your post has made me well up hun, your young man sounds like a lovely lad and is a credit to you  

pam xx


----------



## bluebells

KJ

I've only just read your news this morning. I've not had much time to catch up on here recently, but I have been thinking of you and what you have been going through. I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you. (((hugs))).

I am a bit lost for words. I can only echo what everyone else has been saying, 
You have been very brave and strong and I know it's probably not much comfort now, but it WILL happen and I pray for you that it will happen very very soon. Take care. Lots of love to you and dh.

Bluebells xx


----------



## bluebells

Hi Everyone,

Haven't had time to catch up on here for a few weeks, but am working from home today, so can have a look 

KJ - See my post above. Thinking of you.

Everyone else - sorry for no personals, hope you are all ok and not suffering in the awful weather too much. Heavy rain here again!

Can't remember whose photo it is, but like the photo of your little one with the wet wipes 

Our news is we have finished our Prep course and written our 'official letter' to SS saying how many and what age children we would like to adopt. Think they are sending the 'big' application form out next. 

Work is completely manic - want to be reading up on adoption, but am completely exhausted mentally when get home in evenings, so hope will ease off a bit soon! Want to catch up on here a bit too!

Sorry for the lack of personals. Better do some more work I guess. ;-)

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Lots of love
Bluebells xxx


----------



## cindyp

Quick post, at work.

KJ, so sorry to read your news, words fail me at this time.  Please take care both of you.

JD, great news about the court date.

Ruth, I caught last night's episode.  I thought from what he said that the guy from Stratford had adoptive parents who were very busy and probably didn't give him the love and attention he wanted.  I seriously don't think that will be a problem with Boo.

Going to the seaside tomorrow, it's Cuddles first birthday (where has the time gone) so must remember to pack the candle for the cake.

love to all
Cindy


----------



## keemjay

Hiya
i've been watching the Family wanted series too..was going to start a thread to see what others were making of all the stories but guess we can discuss it here...hope you've all been watching it or you'll have no idea what i'm on about
i thought last nights was really good hearing the adopted voices speaking. IMHO the guy who's mum had died 8 years ago and then met his dad just seemed like he was processing emotions that had never been dealt with before..his distress was years of unanswered questions being suddenly answered, on top of finding out his birth mum had now died so it was too late to ask her any questions. I really felt for him and cemented in me the idea that the current trend for 'openess' in adoption in definitely a good thing. the 'searching' process seems such a difficult one.It was also interesting listening to his father talking about the reasons they gave him up.
As for the others in the series i think they've all been really interesting..the hindu couple had it a bit too easy in my opinion, if their only hiccup was being up against another couple then i think they had a relatively cushy ride, and itpossibly wasnt a very realistic story (although my perspective is admittedly squewed at present)

the 2 older boys who had face to face contact with thier birth dad was an interesting one...i liked the way it was presented in a life story book way. did anyone else think their life story books looked a bit 'new' like just maybe they'd just been made for the prog?? i thought life story books tended to be well thumbed and dog eared  interesting twist with thier little sister too. I thought the adoptive parents were fantastic, very realistic, open and well informed

the story of the  girl from Tanzania showed exactly why some children end up damaged from the process..felt very sorry that her adoption didnt work out, that adoptive mum must have been so torn to admit she couldnt carry on with her but you could see she was s child who struggled with her emotions/attachments. wasnt sure it was appropriate for her to be sitting in that very grown up meeting..but also intersting to see the amount of people  involved in a childs case..poor girl had so many different people involved in her welfare

anyone else got any thoughts

looking forward to tonights

kj x


----------



## magenta

KJ - so sorry to hear your news.  I think it is understandable that you felt the adoption story on tv wasn't very realistic given all the hurdles you have overcome in the past few months.  From what i have gathered from others - i don't think you are alone in your opinion...it seems that they got a 'quick and easy' journey compared to most. personally I haven't see the tv programmes as they are on too late for me but friends and family have been talking about them.

JillDill - great news about your court date.  Really excited for you.
(We have eventually been contacted by the curator ad litem in regards to bubble's court case and she is meeting us end of July with independent reports going to the court in August. I think things in Scotland are different to you but hopefully we'll be just behind you in getting a date soon).

Bluebells - congrats on reaching another adoption journey milestone 

Superal - your son sounds so wonderful - you must be very proud to have raised such a confident and loving young man.

Everyone else - sorry i can't write more...wee one has woken from her nap and needs me.  

maggie xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Guys,

having read back my post i think i was probably a bit harsh on the english guy. I think i was just a bit shocked at him immediately referring to his BF as "Daddy" before they even knew they were going to meet up. Also his rushing to hug them in that park on their first meet. It would have been interesting to have known a bit more about the adoptive families response to it all.....although that is probably me being voyeristic (not sure i spelt that right). I agree with you about the openess of todays adoption hopefully alleviating some of the anxiety associated with adoption, but i guess us and our children are going to be the guinea pigs on that one....watch this space in 20 years!

I missed the hindu couple but caught the others you mentioned.

The american family were lovely, and so great that the little sister came along too. The dad was so strong about the contact sessions, and about how he handles the boys behaviour after them. As for a life story book, we're still waiitng for boo's.....only been 14 months!  

The tanzianian girl was lovely, as was the girl at the end yesterday. I have quite mixed feelings about trans-heritage adoptions. Of course if there is a good match from the same heritage of a child they should get first choice. But i got the impression that heritage outweighed all other factors. And how long should a child have to wait in shorterm placements for the perfect heritage match to turn up? It was quite upsetting to hear that a white child is considered "adoptable" up till they are approx 9, but for non-white children 2 seemed to be the cut-off!

Although myself and DH are white both our families have many non-white members....to the extent that Boo is the only white child amongst the cousins. But we're still too white to be considered.

i know the BBC are getting some stick at the moment, but they've done a really good job on this series imho.

xxruth

PS will be missing tonights episode though as am out for work leaving drinsk.....although am not sure when i'm leaving yet as we did not exchange contract on the house today as we were supposed to! hohum! 

PPS superal, your son sounds like a great kid! You must be very proud of him.



.


----------



## Viva

No time for personnals unfortunately as at work, but am feeling frustrated. In the great scheme of things and particularly in light of recent events on the board it's a minor thing, but we found out yesterday that they're not likely to shortlist for the siblings we are being considered for this week after all and (even more frustratingly!) they not be interviewing and making their final decision until September due to holidays, initally the aim was for panel in September. Finding it draining trying to deal with all the emotional stuff in addittion to work being busy and stressful and we both feel sad for the children that this is being delayed.
OK rant over....
Love
Viva
XXX


----------



## Dame Edna

Hi Girls

I am not a regular here but am hoping you girls might just be able to help or point me in the right direction!  I am so annoyed with myself tonight as we missed the 'Family Wanted' programme we have been watching all week :-(

We saw all the other shows this week but we forgot to watch tonights show    I have been on to the BBC website Family Wanted section to see if the programmes are repeated and it really does not look as if they are.  Does anyone know if they are?

If not, has anyone taped tonight's show and would be willing to post it to me?  Of course it goes without saying I will pay for postage and the cost of the tape and would be very grateful!  If you can help please PM me and I will give you my address details.  

You would think being 'Dame Edna' I would be able to get the tape from the BBC wouldn't you!

Anyway, my thoughts on the shows......  I think the sadest show was the one with the little Tanzanian girl and the boy 'Russel' I think his name was who was about 10 and had mild learning difficulties.  He was such a sweetheart, seemed like a real softie too and polite.  I just seemed sad to me that he has been with the same Foster Carers for 2 years and is obviously settled with them and that if he finds an adoptive family placement he would have to move on.  I know that is the system but it brought home the upheaval of moving on constantly for these children.  However, even sadder was the little Tanzanian girl (Hulimi?) who seemed so lost and damaged by the system and so resigned to the fact that she would never find a mum.  That poor child has been through so much and as you say KJ, the effects of all the moves are clear for all to see.  I thought it was a bit odd she was in the meeting like you said KJ but I thought it was wrong that they had her answer painful questions about her past to her classmates - perhaps this is good for kids but it looked wrong to put her on the spot like that?  It was very moving when she gave that Social Worker a mothers day card and then she had to say goodbye to her too - the Kleenex came in handy!  God I have had it so easy in my life compared to those poor kids.

I am waffling on now so I will end off!

Please help me with tonight's tape if you can.

Thanks in advance
Dame Edna

PS.  Sorry for your heartbreaking news KJ   x10


----------



## fiona1

Dame Edna,

Last nights show was only on for 10 minutes and was appealing for a family for a litle 2 year old boy with a physical disability. It wasn't a full story like the other ones have been. I didn't record it sorry.

Fiona


----------



## Dame Edna

Hi Fiona

Thanks for the reply   .  I didn't realise it was only a 10 minute show so that's good I didn't miss a proper show - no need to worry everyone in that case I can live without seeing it!

Thank you for letting me know.
Dame Edna


----------



## Mummyof2

http://www.bbc.co.uk/videonation/feature/familywanted/

Find these interesting.

/links


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Apparently Casulty tonight is linked to the Family Wanted seasonso may be worth watching if you don't normally.

Have you been watching Eastenders recently?  I really didn't like Stella and found it quite upsetting to watch, probably more so because of going through the adoption process.  I'm glad that storyline is over as far as her being in it.

Hope you are all having a good weekend.  The sun has finally come out but we had loads of floods yesterday.
Love
OT x


----------



## Tarango

Hello everyone,

Jennifer - I was so sad to read about your cat, wanted to send you  

KJ - I have been reading your posts and wanted to echo what has already been said and send you  

Hello to everyone else  

I've been watching the BBC programmes and thought they were good. We sent off for the info pack and that too is informative for a newbie like myself. DH & I are going to go along to one of the info days they are holding. We have also emailed our LA and asked a few questions too. We don't expect to get anything going until end of September though

Have a good rest of Sunday and the sunshine if you have any 

love
T
xx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Just managed to have a quick read.

KJ, like all before me have said. I am sooooooooooooo sorry to read your news. One day you will be a mummy and this heart ache will be healed.

Love and hugs.

PBMxx


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Its taken me a while to catch up with the news over the weekend. 

MJ  hope the painting is still going well, have you got a moving date yet?  I may have missed you posting it.   Less than 6 weeks to panel now, time flies!

Keemjay  I think its important to share all aspects of the adoption process - warts and all.  It allows us to rant, ask for help or support from people who understand ooooooh so well.  Thinking of you and DH.  xxx

Superal/Andrea  I loved the story about your gorgeous son  you must be so very proud of how he is growing up.  

Bluebelles  exciting times ahead for your now, have the forms arrived yet?

Viva  sorry to hear your discouraged, hang on in there. xxx  

The Family Wanted series  DH and I have been watching the programmes all last week.  Its been so interesting from all aspects of the process  have to say TV seems to shorten everyones journeys!!  Our hearts went out to the little girl who found her perfect family and it didnt work out.  The two gentlemen who found their birth parent/s, I expected the emotions to be high but seeing their journey just hit home.  I pray our children will be more aware of where they have come from and of who they are.  The last 2 nights the channel advertised changes to the programme and I found this that appears to have been dropped for whatever reason (I have taken the childs name out), I would really have liked to see this programme also: 

XXX Story: A Different Kind of Adoption. 
Series exploring adoption and foster-caring. Children in care often have several foster care placements before they are adopted and this causes further trauma and uncertainty for them. A handful of adoption agencies offer an alternative called "concurrent planning". The idea is simple - when a child comes into care they are fostered by carers who will go on to adopt them, if they cannot return home. Family Wanted follows the work of one such agency, and explores how this special kind of adoption impacts on the birth parents, carers and children.

Love to everyone I havent mentioned.
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## fiona1

This is what we are doing, when is it on?

Fiona


----------



## Misty C

Fiona

This is the story that was either cut I'm afraid or maybe I just missed it. The series appears to be repeated on UK TV as follows:

http://library.digiguide.com/lib/episodes/Family+Wanted-609287

I'm crap at linking things so just in case it doesn't work:

Family Wanted BBC 1 July 31th - 3:55am "Completing Our Family" 
Family Wanted BBC 1 August 1st - 3:25am "Our Forever Family" 
Family Wanted BBC 1 August 2nd - 3:35am "XXXXX in Limbo" 
Family Wanted BBC 1 August 3rd - 3:30am "XXXXX Story: A Different Kind of Adoption" 
Family Wanted BBC 1 August 10th - 3:30am

Set the recorder!

Love
Misty C
xxxx

/links


----------



## Viva

Hi All, 
Well after being told that everything had slowed down and we might not hear much until September, our SW called to tell us today that we are one of two couples shortlisted for this sibling pair (little boy who will be 4 next month and little girl 15mths) and we will be interviewed next week...we are now very excited!   
We should get the childrens form E either tomorrow or Wednesday and then will meet with our SW to go over anything we feel we need clarification on. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions on things that we should be thinking or asking about that may not be obvious it would be great to hear. 
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## keemjay

i think that one got cut as it was scheduled for thurs and  then a different came on, presuming that was the one that was meant for fri, cos then on fri there was none 
cant seem to word that so that it makes sense 

viva -i had just tyoed something to you and see now its all changed  hows things change with a phonecall eh  i suspect you'll have more questions once you have the form E's/CPR's. just remain calm ok 

ruthie, dont know what made me think of it today but wondered how your friend is who lost the baby? feel so terrible sad for them
hope your leg is mending too 

things here are better then i anticipated, we are worn out and fragile, but on the whole ok. i think we had started to let go of littlie a while back and consequently it was only a thread of a bond that finally broke. I am putting all my efforts into writing an epic of a rant to SS - currently 4 x A4 pages long..its been quite cathartic and many words have been banged out in rage and deleted later  bro is going over my final draft as he's a whizz at letters. am sending it to the head of childrens services as well as to every single sw involved 
we have taken down the nursery and packed it into the loft and have turned the room into a nice guest room and dh has re-instated his dj-ing equpiment into the old guest room. so it all feels different and fresh upstairs.
we're trying to book some time away in spain, treking up to town tomorrow to get an emergency passport renewal for me 

love to all

kj x


----------



## jan welshy

Hi everyone, am back and survived.
KJ sorry about your news hope you and DH are OK.

I need some advice really. Our SW seems to dragging her feet a little. She asked one of our refs to come down from england to interview them, she said saturdays would be OK, so they phoned her on the day she said she would be inthe office only to be told she was out then we managed to contact her and said our firen ds would be down for a saturday interview then she said she wasn't really prepared to do saturdays at was her weekend!!!!!!!!! She will not do weeekly meetings and has yet to contact our other ref that she said she would. DH is now getting annoyed (not like him at all)!!!

Question:-

How can we put across how we feel the process is going and how frustrated we are and our refs are by the latest? We were told 9 onths for panel but it is now 14 months and only a "hopefully panel for October" in sight. We want to express our annoyance but are too scared to do this as we feel we might jeopardise our chances and break the relationshipo with our SW.

We new this would be a longish journey with ups and downs but feel this is tkaing too long and feel a little let down. Our refs are sooo frustrated as well.

Any advice greatfully receieved.
Ta
WelshyXXXXXX


----------



## Misty C

Viva - absolutely wonderful news, I know its early but even *I * have butterflies! Hope everything goes nice and easy and problem free.

Keemjay - its so great to see you posting and to read that you are moving on slowly. I can understand how changing the nursery and other rooms at home will help you, I feel that clearing out the wardrobe, drawers, cupboards etc. tends to make me feel heeps better. Then again I may be a bit mad! I take it your going away somewhere lovely and hot and dry, looking forward to finding out where!

Jan - we have been lucky with our SW as she tended to stick to what she said. There were times when we thought things would be actioned within the week and it took a few weeks more, that said she got us to panel when she said she would. I understand that weekends are your SW's own but she was the one who said it would be fine for that meeting. Our SW visited one of our Refs on a Saturday and said she would take the time back. Maybe just come clean and say to head of department what happened and how frustrated you are and ask if there may be a problem you are not aware of. Don't know if that helps any.

Love to everyone.
Misty C
xxx


----------



## naoise

Hi everybody I had written a very long post and I lost it  don't know what I did

KJ I am really sorry to hear that things didn't work out with the little one I hope you are coping OK

Jan I wouldn't be afraid to say how frustrated you both are as he shouts loudest gets seen first, my dh used to ring and give off all the time and I was soo afraid that they would be cross with us but it turned out that it did only did us good. But that it  would not be for you.

The girls are doing soo well and we are so happy with our family but it is such hard work that you would not believe, but I wouldnt change it for the anything.


LOve K


----------



## keemjay

jan i agree with naoise..nobody can hear you if you dont shout..they are way over their 8 month guidlines in getting you to panel and your sw is being out of order with your refs. find out who her line manager is and email/contact her and explain whats going on
being able to 'fight' for whats right and stick up for yourselves is a sign that in future you will be able to fight for whatever your adopted child might need..for example speech therapy/ help for attachment difficulties/ being bullied at school. you need to show that you arent the sort to take crap laying down and that you have the will to make things succeed. you are only asking for what you are entitled to..

kj x


----------



## jan welshy

Thanks girls for your advice. DH says he is going to say something on thursday when she comes here. He never expresses his annoyance so must be really seething about it inside! One of our refs is also getting so upset about it they are going to phone her to say they are concerned they have not been contacted to discuss us as the sw said she would folloeing her letting them down about the saturday interview.

Mum and Dad had their visit last night, seemed to go OK but mum not taken by her (she sees things as I do I'm afraid).

We have been so patient, gone along with things that have stopped the process etc but know had enough. Wish we had had the money to do this independantly and been able to pay for the assessment.

SW is off on holidays for most of August so I am guessing October will be out of reach for us now. Once this is all over we are definately writing to our MP etc about the lengthy process we all have to go through, I know and understand the reasons but the length of time taken is unfair and unecessary.

Sorry for rant, still tired after wtaersports trip.

Hope you are all well.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXX


----------



## keemjay

jan its fine to rant hun. some things ARE unfair and unnecessary in this process  and yes go girl, write to your MP, I am considering the same thing myself. they say they are screaming out for adopters and in the event they muck people around and cause no end of stress. its got to stop and it will only stop if people stand up and complain

kj x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

jan, sounds like its draging a lot for you. definately agree with the others, if you don't let them know youre frustrated then they can assume youre not! Some of our referees were in ireland and our SW was happy to do hone interviews with them....maybe they could do the same for yours?

KJ, lovely to see you back on your feet. Thanks for asking about my friend. She seems to be doing as well as can be expected, talking about starting saving for her next round of ICSI and about going private for the delivery. Thats been the most frustrating thign about the broken leg is that i was due to fly back with boo to sedn some time with her but had to cancel. am off to the hospital today to hopefully gt the cst removed, so should be able to pop over in august.

better get on as i am "working from home" today, and i have no self-disipline.....

xxxruthie


----------



## suffolklady77

hiya I was directed here by someone saphy possibly   but anyway Dh and I are giving ourselves a few months to get over and draw a line under our ttc experiance before we go ahead with adoption in the new year, its so valuable to be able to gleen an insight into the process before you start I will probably lurk more than post for now but I dont like reading peoples post with out introducing myself first! 
-Gayle xx


----------



## askingangels

Hello

Jan - You have given me the strength to email our SW as she is dragging her heels a little as well. We were told our Form F would be ready end June!!!! Anyway she came out and said she had it half done   . She has now visited refs last week. She said we will hopefully go to panel beg Aug as we go on holiday 22nd August and I said we want to be approved by then. Just sent an email to her as we havent seen Form F yet and Aug is next week   . Just wanted to let you know you arent alone.

Hope everyone else is ok. Better go and finish housework. Just got back from weekend away to see our georgeous nephew. He was born day before we got there. He is lovely. Then again we are biased.

Love and Hugs to everyone

Sxx


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

KJ - so glad to see you posting like the others have said and sounding so positive.  Glad you did what you felt was right over the room, there was only you who could do it and I was glad I could offer some help but at the end of the day YOU decided and it show what a strong person you are.  You never know & soon you could be getting it all down from the loft again.  It was only when DH reminded me the other day that our cot is till in the loft and that last time it was in the loft was the break in between our foster daughter and our daughter arriving.  Funny how you forget things isn't it!  You will do in time. 

Jan - go on girl go and give them hell, you have to stand up fro what is right.

Viva - Have every thing crossed for you, good luck. 

Gayle - welcome & you can lurk as much as you want, the group of people who use these boards are lovely and will help you all they can with help and support.  Even if you don't know these people by face they become your friends.

Ruth - Hope that leg of yours is on the mend soon and your running after Boo!

Got to go DH has just arrived home and shouldn't be home for another 3 hours!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## jan welshy

Spoke to BAAF today who have advised us to put our concerns very clearly to our sw this week. The person said 8/9 months was the timescale and could not believe our 14 month saga. DH is doing the talking this week as I feel I get too charged and emotional, as I said to him "I see no light at the end of the tunnel, no timescale, no firm date for panel and feel left in limboland".

Our refs are so blooming angry too. 

Hope this meeting this week will give us some clarity, am beginning to feel like I might lose the 
plot and give up.

Thnaks all for your support.

Hope you are all well.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXX


----------



## suffolklady77

thanks for the welcome andrea
I normally reside on the pcos thread and i know oly to well the support we can all give each other! 
-Gayle xx


----------



## bluebells

Hi everyone and welcome Gayle.

Just a really quick post before I dash off to work.

Social services rang yesterday and are having a meeting this Thursday to allocate SW's to adopters, including us!  
(How do you add the little smiley faces and stuff btw? They don't work on my Apple Mac)

They haven't sent us the application form yet or got our CRB form, but they do know how many and what age children we want to adopt (2 up to the age of 4), so hopefully they will choose the right one for us.

So pleased we are still making progress. Everyone around me seems to be having babies and getting pregnant recently and I had found the last few days tough. Is it bad to still feel like that after moving on to adoption - to block off the broody feelings seems un-natural. Always feel better when hear from SS though.

DH is going to drop off the CRBs when they give him an appt. Useful that I don't have to go too. Having a self employed lovely dh is so nice. 

Have a good day everyone.

Bluebells xx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Jan
Sorry you are having a cr*p time with your SW, ours is also very slow and getting on my nerves now though we haven't seen her for 6 weeks.  Hope you get some positive answers from your next meeting.
Love
OT x


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi Jan, it took us ages as well as you can see from the timescales in my profile - we started our adoption journey on Nov 04 and finished our home study Feb 06 making a total of 15 months then it was another 3 months from home study ending to getting to panel making 18 months from start to panel which is twice the recommendation.

Adoption Open Evening 4.11.04, preparation course 7.3.05, medicals 2.8.05/passed 6.9.05, crb check me 25.8.05/dh 11.10.05, home study 26.10.05-8.2.06, APPROVED AT PANEL 11.5.06 for 1 child either sex 0-3 years.

Now we've been waiting since panel in May 06 to be linked since being passed at panel so the waiting goes on and on and on ............  We were told it would be on average 6-8 months from panel to getting matched and it is now 14 months and ongoing.


----------



## ritzi

hi all

i read the posts avidly but don't really have a lot to say as we're just starting our journey....

After such a positive meeting with our SW we mailed our official application forms today - and anticipate a quick start to our HS    the SW seemed really eager so   it won't be long. 

it seems lots of you are struggling at the mo with SW's taking their time   i say hang in there it'll be worth it in the end (and if you girls can remind me of that at a later date that would be helpful   ) 

ritz.


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

we have moved! moved in on mon and house is full of boxes! we both could only get mon and tue off work! SW coming out next tue for last visit! 5wk 2days till panel!

just making tea however DH is sat in chat for me-i will be in in about 15mins

xxxx


----------



## jan welshy

JenniferF,

It is just so annoying.........we wait for tx, then wait for HS we want to move with our lives as a family.
Thanks for your support and hope we have just as much patience as you have.
love
WelshyXXXXX


----------



## Mummyof2

Jan - it drives us up the wall but all you can do is wait or say enough is enough and we don't want to do that as we think surely it won't be much longer!  Hope your journey is speedier.  We have all been waiting far too long to complete our families as it is, with treatment beforehand, as you say.

MJ - good luck in your new house.


----------



## momo

Hello ladies, 

Haven't posted for a while & have been lurking.

We have decided to change to International adoption after the fiasco earlier this year and not a sniff since.  I know we will have to re- do part of our homestudy & be approved again and will face a fairly lengthy wait -but the system is fairer and we won't be in competition with others when it comes to been matched.
We have got an interview at our agency on monday to get the ball rolling- i think they may try & change our minds but we are determined to go ahead and put all this behind us.

Will keep popping in to say how you are all getting on- and update you on our progress.

Hi to everyone, old & new!

Momox


----------



## keemjay

Hi momo, nice to see you posting
dh and i have talked about switching to international but discounted it on the basis that firstly we havent the funds but more importantly we just dont feel we can face more waiting. you are obviously far more patient than us (or perhaps you're younger )
I'm glad to see you are ready to think about it all again after your disappointment, gives me hope that we will in time get over our traumas and be ready to face it all again. good luck for your meeting on mon 
jan - how did your meeting go 

bluebells, hope your meeting went well and you now have a sw!

i've sent off my letters to ss, looking forward to their response. got my passport sorted and booked flights to Alicante next weekend for 6 days. I'm in the process of applying for a job and dh finishes work today for 2 weeks. will be nice to have some chill out time togther without the stress of the uncertainty hanging over us. we may go camping for a few days, weather dependant 

have good weekends everyone

kj x


----------



## momo

Hi Keemjay

Thanks for your post, it was a big decision to make but it feels like a good one.
At least we'll have some kind of timescale and we can plan things (holidays) in the meantime and do loads of reading up/prep work on China whist we are waiting.
Haha- not younger- i'm 42 & dh is 34. I'm sure you will be ready to face it again when the time comes and hopefully you won't have to wait too long.

Hope you have a lovely holiday- you deserve it after all you've been through

Momox


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

sounds like youre happy with your choice momo, but one thing sprung to mind. I have a friend here who is waiting to adopt from china. They got their homeoffcie approval last october and are still waiting for china to register them as "logged"......acknowledgeing thier applicaiton i believe. Anyway this is because they have drastically reduced the numbers of foreign adoptions in the last year. Are you particularly fixed on china? It sounds like it could be quite a long wait.

I've heard somethign about india opening themselves up for foreign adopters....must go see what i can find about ti.

xxruthie


----------



## jan welshy

Well Keemjay and girls the meeting was positive. DH managed to ask the questions without being arsy and I sat back and listened. She is planning our Panel date for 2nd October, our refs phoned her yesterday themselves (without us knowing) and expressed their views on us etc. SW says she is writing our F form next Friday (hope so) before she goes on hols and so should meet the October date (please ).
SW asked about numbers but we said we were not prepared to put just one or just two down as we I sure we are going to be a family of two kids in time (wether that is straight away or not depending on possible matches) SW seemed OK for once on that as we were strong about our views on this one. DH was BRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He puts into words the feelings I have without it sounding rude etc )LOVE HIM TO BITS).
Just feel I am on an up (hope there is no down).
DH put little snippets about length of time etc into conversations without being blunt (unlike I would have been).

Thanks for your support girls and such a good listening ear (hope I do not get too me me me too often).

DH now cutting the grass (first dry day in ages) and I have a fruity crumble on the go so will speak to you later.

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## wynnster

Hello All

I haven't posted for yonks and yonks (what a funny word!  ) so thought I'd log on and say Hi  

We've got one more HS visit next week and that should be it! 

We've been given a rough panel date of 11th October but that could change as SW has a holiday between now and then and not sure when she'd going to get time to do Form F ?

Hope everyone here is keeping well and hanging in there  

Welshy - We started HS roughly the same time as you's and our panel dates (proposed) are not far apart either so must be the norm to take this long? Glad to hear yout DH has been great, they can occassionally come in handy  

KJ - Enjoy your well deserved time out - Specially the camping! 

Have a Good Weekend everyone - Pray for Sunshine!!!  

Kimmy x


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone 

Naoise – glad everything is going well with the girls. 

Jan/Welshy – so pleased the meeting with SW went well and DH got all the points across that you wanted to.  Roll on October!

Ruthie – how did the visit go to the hospital, did you get your cast removed?

Gayle – enjoy the adoption thread, everyone is so helpful and supportive it’s like a home from home.

Bluebells – I understand feeling broody with people around you becoming pregnant.  I always expected to feel a little of this even though I am so happy be a mummy to our future adopted son/daughter.  BUT I was blown off my feet this week when my cousin and his new wife (just celebrated their 1st anniversary) announced they were expecting their first baby together.  I love them dearly and am honestly delighted for them, but the feeling came from nowhere, I was jealous.  It surprised me and I feel ashamed about it, even although it only lasted for a few hours.  Pre-adoption days there would be ‘tears and snotters’ for days and days so I am hoping my feelings of jealousy will go eventually when I hear such news close to home.  Great news on being allocated a social worker!

Jennifer – I knew you had been waiting a while for some of the adoption processes, but I hadn’t quite taken in how long it’s been for you.  Hang on in their, I always think there is a reason why things happen and it may be that special little someone just needed a few more months to get themselves on right the path to meet you and DH.

MJ – congratulations on the move, glad the painting is all done and you are now home. How many days now until Panel?  Just caught the last 10 minutes of chat on Thursday but didn’t have a password to get in, when you have time can you send me this?  It felt like everyone was ‘talking’ at once in the lounge so I hope I can cope with chat!

Momo – good luck with international adoption, hope it goes smoothly for you and DH.  

Keemjay – enjoy the break in the sun and camping if you manage to get a few dry days. 

Kimmy – another milestone reached with your last home study day as I said to Welshy above roll on October!

Love to everyone 
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone - me again!

We had a bit of excitement this morning when SW gave us a call to say that there may be two wee ones we may be considered for as a mummy and daddy.  She was very clear that there were a lot of issues surrounding them and that there is a very strong possibility that we may not want to go any further than just hearing some of the information on the children.  

I know that these issues will possibly be more than we can commit to and am feeling pretty awful at the minute and torn for these littlies.  Realistically they need parents who can take on their problems, and I don't think we are those people.  HOD wasn't best pleased this information had been passed on to us at this stage.  It has given us the experience of 'getting a call' and the emotions both DH and I went through in that time was so charged and I didn't expect that.  

Still feel sad.
Love
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## Ange K

Hi girls

Not feeling too happy……

Just thought I’d update you about our planned introductions with Cup Cake. We had our permanency planning meeting a couple of weeks ago and they gave us 2 possible introduction start dates  - 1st August and 13th August – the reason for 2 dates is because Cup Cake’s father has decided at this late stage to appeal. However, he would need legal aid so depending on whether he get it depends on when we start intros. We’re still waiting to hear if he’s been granted legal aid so we’re now not able to start intros tomorrow.

SS are very upset about this and can’t understand why he’s left it so late to appeal, especially as we’ve been matched and the agency decision maker has given her consent to so basically we’re ready to start. Cup Cake has been shown our family book and is very excited to meet us. I spoke to her foster mum yesterday and she keeps looking at the book and telling everyone that her new daddy likes strawberries (there’s a photo of my dh in the family book eating them!) and she wants to know when she’s going to see us.

It would be an absolute miracle if this man were to win the appeal given his history (can’t go into details but suffice to say he’s not a fit father) so we’re not really worried about that but the main thing is the delay because Cup Cake knows about us. My DH spoke to our SW yesterday and we might be able to foster her in the meantime if the legal aid decision goes on for much longer.

It’s horrible not knowing when we’re going to meet her. It’s her birthday next week and we were due to have her at our house that day. We’re both very sad that this is dragging on.

Sorry for the moan and the ‘me’ post – I so wanted to be giving you happy news. 

Ange xx


----------



## Misty C

Hi Ange

Sorry to see that everything is no going according to plan for you and DH and Cupcake.  She is probably oblivious to everthing the wee soul!  I know its hard trying to see positives but SW have asked that you may be able to foster until this decision is made.  This will only go in YOUR favour.  Birth Father may think he is doing what's expected of him by at least trying to appeal, that he didn't give up without a fight.

I don't pretend to know what you are both going through, try and focus on the day to day things now until a decision is made.  Are you still able to have her birthday at your house?  Why not focus on this and make it the best day.  

SW hadn't prepared me for the huge amount of patience adoption was going to entail but Ange, you have come this far YOU CAN DO IT!

Love 
Misty C
xxx


----------



## fiona1

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, we have just got back from holiday. SW phoned while we were away to say our forms have been sent off along with another couple for a unborn baby due in Sept. Still lots of hurdles, but we are really pleased to be considered.

Sorry I haven't cought up on previous posts. I hope you are all well and will post again later.

Fiona


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone, 

Fiona, good news that you are being considered for this little one, we are in a similar position at the moment, I hope that it all goes well for you.

Ange, I think you have every right to be frustrated especially as it sounds like the ultimate plan won't change, it seems unfair that an appeal can be made at such a late stage! I really hope that you very soon that there is a resolution to this situation and that it won't be long before you are starting introductions.

Misty, it sounds as if you are being very wise about the little two that you have been told about, we have only seen one profile so far and our SW tells us that the first is the hardest! Are you going to get more information or have you been told enough to make a decision?

Kimmy, good to hear that your HS is nearly complete, hopefully you'll get to panel for October. I don't know what it's like where you are but we certianly have sunshine at the moment!

Welshy, really glad to hear that you have momentum again, sounds like your DH was a star, am really hoping that you get confirmation very soon of your panel date.

Momo, all the best with your decision to change to international adoption, I'm sure if you go down this route you'll be watched with interest as I think you'll be the first on here to do that...

Keemjay...have the very best holiday you two deserve it! Did you go camping? I'm quite a camping fan but DH is never as keen, although he'll have to get used to it as it's likely to be all we can afford in the future!!! When do you expect to hear about your job?

Jennifer, am really hoping that your time for needing patience is coming to an endalthough I'm sure that you will need patience of a different sort when you have two running around!

MJ, are you all settled in yet, we finally unpacked our last boxes a couple of months ago from our move 3 1/2 years ago!!!!

Ritzi, am really glad to hear that things are starting quickly for you, not all SW's are slow our's has been great and far more organised than I think I would be if I did her job!!! Some journey's seem to be quicker that others so hopefully yours will be one of the quicker ones!

Bluebells, hope to hear that you have been allocated your SW soon, we really enjoyed our HS it felt good to be doing something constructive!

OT, hope you hear from yur SW soon, I can't remeber do you have a date for panel?

Sufolklady, just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Superal, your two must have broken up by now, have you got lots planned for the holidays? Being married to a teacherI look forward to having someone else around when we get to that stage!

Asking angels, Hope all goes well and yo get to panel in August, it's a great feeling when you get approved!

Ruthie, hope you're back on your feet.

Hi to anyone I've missed!

Well our news is that we are being interviewed for a sibling pair tomorrow, trying not to get too excited but find it easy to imagine them as a part of our family. We know another couiple are also being considered and keep reminding ourselves that we might not be the best parents for these children...our SW thinks a decision is likely to be made in the next week or so, which is good timing as far as I'm concerned as we're both on holiday and that would give us time to get over the disappointment or to start getting organised depending on the outcome!

We are having our meeting over lunchtime, so will be feeding the SW's am making a cake and our SW has suggested that we just do sandwichs so if anyone has any good suggestions for sandwich fillings let me know, I'm a bit unadventerous.
Love 
Viva
XXX


----------



## Misty C

Wow Viva 

I can't help feeling really excited for you although I am glad to see that you are keeping your feet on the ground.  Good luck tomorrow with the interview, its a difficult position to be in but I'll keep my fingers crossed in your favour (course I'm biased).    My SW really enjoyed any kind of sandwhich or bread roll but her favourite was homous/humous - can't spell! - with fresh chopped red peppers through it.  Bet they all get tucked right into your cake and forget the sarnies!!!

SW visited this morning with more information on the 2 little ones (as the cat was out the bag HOD said we had to meet up).  DH and I will look into the additional information and decide.  My parents were not 100% supportive with our plans to adopt although they have come around, but my poor mum looked crestfallen yesterday when the SW call came and I informed her its was a tentative link and not to get her hopes up. 

Love to everyone.
Misty C
xxx


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Hope you are all OK and enjoying the sunny weather for a change.  It has come as a great blessing around here as people are trying to dry their homes out, thankfully not us though!

Viva, good luck for tomorrow.  Sandwich fillings....I think I'd stick to simple ones like ham, cheese and tomato, cheese and pickle, egg and tuna might be a bit smellie!

Misty, hope you are able to make a decision you are both happy with.

Fiona, how exciting, will keep everything crossed for you.

Ange, am sorry to hear about the delay with intros.  Hope things get sorted quickly.

MJ, hope you are settled in and ready for panel.

KJ, enjoy your holiday.

To all those waiting for panel, hope the time doesn't drag too much, I'm trying not to think about it too much as I won't believe we will be going until we are there.

We have a SW visit tomorrow evening, for a catch up, having not seen her for 6 weeks.  5 weeks ago I sent her details of someone she could contact who knew of my Ex, they took months to get round to deciding if I had someone else they could talk to they wouldn't need to find him.  Now they have the info and still they haven't got in touch with her.  What with that and the floods around here I am just waiting for SW to say panel is delayed again.  I have lost all confidence in her abilities and she has put me off big time ever going through this again.  Its annoyed me because all the questions etc were fine, didn't find anything difficult to answer but her lack of effort really gets me down.  By now they know whether or not we would make good parents and give a good home so why do they treat us as though we are nothing?  Do you get any better treatment once you are approved?  Don't know how I am going to put my trust in her to find us a family but once the 3 months are up we will be doing everything we can to find one ourselves.

Love
OT x


----------



## Misty C

Hi OT

Glad you have missed the floods, I can't help thinking of all those poor people dealing with the aftermath.  

On reading your signature you seem roughly about 2 months behind us is that right?  We had our first visit from SW for home study in Dec 2006 (prep course October 06).  It was hoped that we would go to panel June/July, although it could have been later due to holidays - they organised an extra panel meeting in June that we attended.  We are still waiting for our written approval but our SW has always made sure we are aware that they are 'beavering' away in the background and not to worry if we hadn't heard anything for a few weeks.  Also if we had any questions or worries just to call.  

I can understand that you feel so upset about the lack of action, what about gathering up all your questions and your worries and just hitting them with it litterally!  Put them in an e-mail or letter even give them a call (although if it were me I would probably end up shouting) and make sure that they keep you constantly aware of what's happening - even if its nothing.  Its more than likely you've done all this and think I'm a nut, but hey give it another go!

The main thing is you don't give up as the kids out there really do need you, maybe the delay will mean you are approved for someone very special at just the right time. Good luck with the meeting tomorrow, keep us posted. 

Love
Misty C
xxxx

Fiona
Don't know how I missed your post, sorry....  Good luck with the little baby, have you a rough idea when they will make the decision?  Fingers crossed for you!
xxxx


----------



## Viva

Well we had our interview today and the chocolate cake went down really well!!! Interview actually felt more like an informal chat and we felt that we were able to be ourselves which was important. Our SW also felt that the interview had gone really well, so now we just wait and see, we should find out on Monday, luckily we have DH's Sister and her husband to stay this weekend and my Brother and Sister over tonight so we have enough on to distract us!!!

OT I hope your meeting goes well this evening.

Misty,I'm sure that you and your DH will come to the right decision about the two littlies that you have been told about.

Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Misty C

Viva - Oh my goodness Monday, that's so quick I'm really excited for you.  Pleased that everything is sounding positive, knew the cake would go down well!  

DH and I have taken everything on board regarding the littlies.  We have researched their special health issues and considered their complicated parental backgrounds that have a huge bearing on them.  We have been surprised that these areas really didn't phase us as much as we thought, the biggest fly in ointment appears to be the pretty muddy legal position of the children, this could take a very long time to sort out and looking at the information I'm not sure why they are being put forward for adoption at present.  Our SW will try and get some more answers (we have inundated her with questions) but their SW is off on holiday. 

I'm off to pick up DH, then B&Q and visiting my parents.  Apart from B&Q should be a lovely evening!

Love
Misty C
xxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Hi All

Not got time for lots of personals.  Just had a lovely 10 days at the seaside as we were really lucky with the weather and spent most of our time on the beach.  Kids loved it but we're back to mountains of laundry   

Fiona, keeping everything crossed for you, sounds exciting.

Viva, exciting times for your too.  Will keep everything crossed for Monday.  They are the same age as my two so you would be in for fun  

Ange, how frustrating for you, hope things get resolved quickly.

KJ, hope the holiday in Spain can help you get some relaxation after all your difficulties.

Jan, sounds like your DH did a good job.

Cuddles application is with the Court so just waiting for a date now.  Mind you since she turned one last week she's become a right stroppy Madam who bursts into tears if she can't get what she wants, only wants to eat puddings, doesn't want to be spoon fed and still only wants to sleep with one of us.  Kids, who'd have em?  

love to everyone else but I'm too tired to write more.

Cindy


----------



## Mummyof2

OT - in my experience, it doesn't get better after you're approved either!

Cindy - sounds like you had a lovely holiday.  Early tantrums is supposed to be a sign of intelligence apparently and frustration that you can't understand/accept what they think they need.  DS started his tantrums around 14 months and he is very bright.  Good news is that they quickly grow out of them when they learn to talk so only another year to go  

We had been waiting to hear if we could be considered for a 10 month baby girl but learned today that, once again, the child needs to be placed away from our city.  That's the 3rd baby that has happened to that we have possibly been interested in.  Back to the waiting game ....... so disappointing ..... 14 months now since panel and counting


----------



## askingangels

Hello Everyone

Sorry no personals. At work and should be busy. Thought I would pop on to let you all know the latest.

To cut a long story short - Emailed SW to ask when Form F would be ready. She said not quite finished and she had just realised there should be another ref.   . Suggested my mam. That is ok. (cant believe they hadnt been to see her anyway and I had asked a few times if they needed to)  . Anyway we were told prob wont be approved before we go on hol 22.08. There is a panel meeting on 14.08 but that is full. I told her I was really disappointed as she had told me Form F would have been done end June.    . 

Anyway got email yesterday to say she is bringing draft Form F out today and visiting my mam after. Moaning does move them on a bit sometimes then.   

I cant wait to read the form F and hopefully we will go to panel sometime before our hols. Panel after hols is 11.09 so not too long.

Will try and pop back on later and catch up with personals.

Love and Hugs to you all.

Sxx


----------



## superal

Hi all - just a quick post as I'm busy cooking tea and I have 2 very hungry children!

Jennifer _ i just wanted to say I am so sorry that yet again you have not been successful with a possible match, my heart really aches for you as I know you have waited so long for your new addition to your family and there must be times when you think why do we bother?  PLEASE do not give up and I hope the nest one is the right one.

OK something is burning, it must  be ready..TEA!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## keemjay

hi all, just a quickie in between beach camping break (lovely ) and going to spain....

Ange - so sorry to hear what you're going through..i think i'm qualified to say i know a bit of what you're going through. its awful being so close and yet feeling so far. i really hope things sort themselves out really quickly for you all  

asking angels - yes!!! giving sw's a kick really does work  

OT -  sounds like your sw needs a good  too. its disappointing to be treated with so little respect when we give so kmyuch of ourselves to the process but I'm getting used to it now. dont lose heart, its not you its the useless system. btw i'm never afraid of going to the next person up the team ladder to givea little poke 

ooh fiona, sounds exciting 

jennifer, disapointing news for you, so sorry..they should know before they approach you if the child needs to be placed further away 

viva-cake-queen - hope mon comes nice and quick for you, i will be wondering on my hols how you get on  

misty - hope you get all your answers soon..i can only encourage caution when it comes to difficult legal situations.....

love to all

kj x


----------



## Misty C

Morning everyone

Cindy  sounds like you have a typical diva in the family!

Jennifer  dont give up, just hang on in there your baby will be on his/her way. Loved the idea the childhood tantrums and intelligence are linked. 

Askingangels  glad you got SW up and running, a wee nudge does help!  How was the form F?

Andrea  did you save your tea?  

Keemjay  you are sounding so upbeat in between your holidays; the breaks seem to be doing you the power of good.  You have been very much on our minds as we have considered the little ones.  Apart from BPs there is another family member who is very active in their life.  It has all the hallmarks if going to take a very long time.

Love to everyone.
Misty C
xxxxx


----------



## fiona1

Hi all,

Just thought i'd pop in and day hello. I am on holiday in Guernsey this week, camping mon and tues. Hope you are all well. No news here still waiting for the yes or no re the unborn baby in Sept.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone, 
Just a quickie from me but we have had our news early...we have been told that we have been choosen for these two littlies!!!!!!!!!! We are very excited    and my legs have finally stopped feeling like jelly! If all goes well we will go to panel on 10th September and probably start introductions sometime during the week beginning 17th September. I think we're going to have our hands full as the little boy will be 4 on Sunday (on our wedding anniversary) and the little girl is about 15months!!! (So CindyP all tips gratefully recieved!!!)
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## superal

Viva - What fantastic news you must be over the moon and hopefully celebrating with a glass of bubbly or two!!

CONGRATULATIONS - September will soon be here and your family will be complete.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## ritzi

hi all

viva - what great news  

fiona - hoping you get some news soon  

kj - lucky you with the hols - nopthing but rain here in wales  

jennifer -   seems so cruel that SS don't consider these things first before getting peoples hopes up  

misty - is there a certain length of time in which you have to decide about the littlies or can you take the time you need? just curious really as to how that bit works  

hi to everyone else   still reading but not posting much as not much to say   
we mailed our application last wednesday and haven't heard a thing (recorded delivery) - is it wayyyyy too early for someone to call as yet?  just want to push on really and as SW was so positive on first visit i thought maybe she would be sat at her desk waiting for our forms with baited breath  

how long is realistic for someone to contact you after they recieve your application? (i'm with barnados).

ritz.


----------



## fiona1

Viva - Fantastic news, September will be here in no time at all. Enjoy your last few weeks of freedom 

Fiona


----------



## Misty C

Viva - huge  congratulations, such wonderful news! Enjoy a weekend of celebrations........... xxxxxxxx

Ritzi - our SW will come back with a little more information for us next week on the little ones, time scales was our 'biggest' question amongst a few others. Then they may give us a timescale to inform them of our interest - I think. Sorry to be so vague its the little ones legal status is so 'muddy' its hard believe we could really be in with a chance of being parents to them. Don't worry will keep you informed. Why don't you give SW a call to check your application arrived? Just to show how eager and efficient you are!

Love to everyone
Misty C
xxxxx


----------



## cindyp

Viva, fantastic news, can't wait till September for you.  My major tip is try and get as much sleep as you can in this next month as you will need it!!   

Jen, can only echo what Andrea has said, hang in there.  The right match will come along.  How is DS coping with all this waiting?

KJ, glad you had a nice time at the seaside, have a lovely time in Spain.

Fiona, hope you have a nice time in Guernsey, still keeping fingers crossed for you re baby.

Misty, hope you get some clarification re littlies, are they thinking in terms of concurrency?

Hi to everyone else, just steeling myself here for a wake up.  Started trying controlled crying again with DD, took 45 minutes for her to stop crying and go to sleep and I'm just waiting for her to wake up again.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend in the sunshine.

love
Cindy


----------



## Old Timer

Fantastic news Viva, how wonderful that they got back to you early.  10th Sept will be a good day, its my birthday!

Love
OT x


----------



## jan welshy

Fantastic blloming loveley VIVA. Congratulations. Love to you all.
WelshyXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## keemjay

ooh glad i peeked in before going away..excellant news Viva   how exciting 

Ange - thinking of you 

we had a reply from SS yesterday, acknowledging our letter. everybody's on holidays so it will be a while before they can all have a pow-wow and get to the bottom of everything, thats fine with us cos we arent ready to talk yet anyway. it appears they are taking it all seriously though, and so they should 

have a good week everyone, see you soon

kj x


----------



## Lynnm

Good morning

Fantastic news Viva.  September will be here in no time at all!!

KJ - Glad you have heard  back from ss.  Enjoy your holiday.

Lynn x


----------



## nic68

Hi all just wanted to introduce myself and join your thread.

Im Nicola and me and dh have been ttc for just over 3yrs, dh has son from prev marriage. have had 3 iui and 2 ivf cycles (2nd cycle abandoned). we have decided to go down adoption route.

Have received info from LA and have sent slip back to show interest. so now just waiting for phone call and then go from there.

Have briefly read some of your posts, but im sure i'll get to know you all over time.  Is there anyone on this thread from the north east area?.

Nicola x


----------



## sanita

OK here goes for a catch up while they are surprisingly playing quietly.

Nicola - Welcome.  Congratulations on taking the first step.  I hope you hear something soon.

KJ - Enjoy your holiday.

Cindy - Good luck with the controlled crying.  Does turning the TV up loud help?  

Ritzi - Hope you hear something soon, if you haven't already.  So many people seem to be on holiday at the moment. 

Viva - Many congratulations.  Lots of lovely shopping and preparing to look forward too now.

Asking Angels - Hope you have got to see your Form F now and that it says lots of super things about you.

JenniferF - Sorry to hear that you have had another dissapointment.  

Hello to everyone else.

We have had Princess and Smiling Boy home for nearly 3 weeks and what a time we have had.  I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I honestly think I was in shock for the first week.  Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the reality of instant parenting of a 6 and 7 year old who have had a traumatic past.  Within days of them coming home I went down with a bad cold which I am only just starting to shift now.

Princess suffers with Night terrors and I am up 2 or 3 times a night with her.  They also both find it difficult to settle to sleep and it can often take two hours of going between the two and soothing them.  They have memories of waking in their birth family and having been left home alone, so they are terrified to go to sleep in case we are not there when they wake up.

Princess is a particularly troubled and angry little girl.  She is quite vicious towards her brother and we have had to stop them playing together unless we are able to supervise the play.  We have already had a Theraplay assessment on both children and the report says that Smiling Boy doesn't seem to need any therapy at the moment.  They do think that Princess would benefit at some point in the near future, but she needs time to settle into her new surroundings before they can do much with her.

Smiling Boy is developmentally delayed and needs practical help with eating, toileting etc.  He is an adorable little boy and has already stolen my heart.

Bonding with Princess is taking longer.  Some days I seem to spend so much time putting her into time out, telling her off or trying not to get sucked into a control battle with her over something or nothing that by the end of the day I have had enough.  Our SW has told us to look for every little positive and heap praise on her at every opportunity.  Some days those opportunities are scarce.  We have seen the odd glimmer of the gorgeous girl that she really is and I hope that with time and lots of TLC we will get to see more of that gorgeous girl.

No time for any more as Princess needs my attention.

love Sanita x


----------



## Suzie

Sanita I just wanted to say I know it is different because I foster but just remember even in those times that you wonder why sometimes, that these little people will start to trust you in the future and from now on you will be the one consistant thing in their lives. 
Hope you feel 100% again soon 

xx


----------



## magenta

Sanita,

Thanks for your update. I am sorry to hear that settling in is taking more time and energy than you thought/feel you have. However please remember that you only have to do this *once* and the house rules you set up now will help your children for many years to come. it may take time but you will begin to see a difference soon I promise - even if you find them testing boundaries months later - at least they know the boundary they are testing rather than 'finding ' it.

If it helps you to know, it took me several months to bond with DD who has little or no attachment issues and when i finally admitted it to social work they seemed to think it was normal - i wish someone had told me that i could love her, care for her and miss her but I wouldn't necessarily 'bond' with her straight away.

I am also glad to hear that Princess will get help to deal with some of her issues - i think the biggest step is getting the assessment of need so well done to you getting that sorted already and well done getting the help you need.

Not the same but...with our DD (aged2) she gets completely over the top praise - sweetie and/or sticker for the slightest good thing - like helping to put toys away. It detracts from her many stints in the naughty corner and helps her to see that she gets extra attention being a 'helpful girl' or doing a 'nice thing'. it was something we learnt from another adoptive family - it really helped them bond and helped the children increase their self esteem at what is a very difficult time.

many other parents seem to think it is OTT to go round a supermarket praising for the slightest thing - well done on getting the tomatoes - that was really good - i am so proud of you..well done. right lets get some potatoes...how many do we need? 4 - yes - what a clever girl...well done...fantastic...that was brilliant...etc etc etc (three praises for each 'acheivment'. it is the 'reinforcement thing' that sreems to work) but we find it works and so did our friends. i use the 'treat' of chosing a £1 toy or a cake works well too - if you get 5 'well done' stickers as we do the shopping then you can get your special toy. We use picture shopping lists as DD is too young to read but she can normally work out what we need from my doodles (or cut outs from magazines) and how many...with a bit of help from mummy! She gets lots of praise and I get the shopping done.

Sending you love, hugs and prayers for family joy.

magenta xx

ps - no news here...still living the dream (with occasional nighmare moments cos she's two )


----------



## fiona1

Sanita - Keep going, you will get there in the end. The advice on here has been great. I wish you and your family all the best. It is still early days.

Nicola - Hello and welcome. Good luck with your adoption journey.

No news here. I phoned SW on Friday but they haven't heard from baby's SW so we don't yet know if we are the chosen ones!!!

Hi to everyone else.

Fiona


----------



## Myra

Hi Guys

Hope you dont mind me posting as to be honest i have not left the Infertility rollercoaster yet, but wanted to pop by for some advise, i have been reading your thread since way before i had my 1st ICSI, as i really felt that tx was not the way forward for us for financial reasons, but we were given a life line and had one go of ICSI on the NHS in Jan this year, although i had a chemical pg we still have 3 frosties waiting for us to try with, also we have investigated tx abroad, although i must say that is at its early stages.

My question is i am about to start working for Social Services in a couple of weeks time, i will be working for the eldery care team but in the same office as us is the adoption team, this is really worrying me as i know that i will be tempted to start asking questions about adoption but due to it being a new job i dont want them to know my history with regards to having children also i am worried that as i work for them this may hinder me in some way, if and when i decide to go down the adoption route, has anyone else applied for adoption whilst working for the social services?

Sorry for jumping in, but didnt know where else to post this question, fingers crossed for all your journeys, you are all an inspiration and from reading your stories, you have made me realise that adoption could be for us.

Thanks Girls
Love Myra xxxx


----------



## TraceyH

Hi all

What a lovely weekend it has been.  We have spent nearly all of it in the garden.  I even managed a couple of hours on the sunbed whilst little one was in bed.

Viva - Congratulations.  Roll on September.

Sanita - I know exactly how you feel.  We were all quite poorly for the first two weeks when our little chap arrived.  We lost weight, not that I'm complaining, and didn't sleep very well but it all settles down eventually.  You sound like you are doing all the right things and you will reap the benefits in the future.  Our little one really had no routine at all before he came to us and now really thrives on routine and has grown in confidence.  Stick in there.

Good luck and best wishes to everyone else.  So much seems to be happening at the moment.

Not much happening here.  Just waiting for the court papers to be drawn up.  Hopefully not too much longer to wait. as he has been with us nearly 7 months.

Tracey x


----------



## everhopeful

Hi girls

I've got my one-to-one meeting with sw tomorrow (eeek!) and I thought I might broach the subject of looking for children (I know it's early days but want to get an idea of how they're thinking)....

and wondered if anyone thinks we might be turned down for applying for 2 this time round, with us having only 1 spare bedroom?

our ideal would be to have 3 children altogther. And with us already having our dd who's the eldest, we'd be looking for a maximum 2 year old (with the gap of 2 years a must with ss) and a younger sibling.
We have a decent sized 3rd bedroom and I can't see any problem putting 2 siblings together at such a young age.

What does everyone think??

Thanks x


----------



## naoise

Hi girls

Sanita I totally know where you are coming from, when N arrived I came down with an awful cold couldn't even talk to her as I had lost my voice, N had night terrors until C arrived and that seemed to settle her, but they fought like cat and dog for the first few weeks, N trying to bully C at every turn, we had got to the stage that we thought we had made the biggest mistake of our lives. Then by the time T arrived things were still pretty bad and I then had a little one clinging to my leg and wouldn't let me go. I was frazzled but we have turned a huge corner and things have taken a turn for the better. Things will get better and sticking to your guns with the behaviour she will soon learn that she can't get away with it. N once whipped C with a stick so hard that she left welt marks on C's legs that were horrific.
Try not to worry about the bonding easy to say for me  but I think we are under so much pressure to be wonder parents after all that we have done to get the little ones that we have very little energy left to do every thing right.

Ever I don't think that they should have any objection to having two in a room my two youngest share a room and there was no worries.

Hi Myra good luck with whatever you decide

KJ enjoy your holiday you both deserve it.

No news here just enjoying myself with the girls T is out of nappies during the day now she was a dream to toilet train and the dummy has gone too. Have bought N and C their uniform for school in September C looks so small in hers I know that I will cry leaving her on her first day.N is so much better behaved these days although she still has off days Don't we all! 

Love K


----------



## LB

hi ladies

congratulations Viva - Roll on September - you must be delighted - well done you!


Sanita - pleased your cold is clearing up, and i hope you see more and more positives as time goes by.

Jennifer - i totally appreciate the waiting game is naff but hang on in there hun XX

bubs has been here three months and is doing great.  but poor Dad has been in hospital for eight weeks - initially with a heart attack and after some unsuccessful stent insertions has had a triple bypass and is hopefully "getting there" hence my absence from the boards as Mum has taken up alot of my time bless her.

we have entered papers for court and are just waiting for a date.

keep praying that Dad will be home soon - Mam and Dad waited so long for Bubs too that i really want them to enjoy it all too!

love to all

LB
X
big hello to everyone else


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Sanita – it sounds like quite a struggle you are having but I can see how strong you are and how well you are coping.  Keep making use of all the assistance SS can give you.  You're a wonderful mum and your children, if they don't know this already, will come to know it.  

Magenta – I loved the tips you have for Sanita, hope you don't mind but I am going to print them off and keep them.  I would never have thought of cutting food/fruit pictures out and using this to help with the shopping.  Thank you. 

Myra – welcome to the thread. I don't work for SS and hope you get answers to your questions.  I would have thought if the adoption crew were aware of your position they may just keep discussions a bit more private.  One of the girls on here Jan Welshy, her husband joined their local SS and may have a few more pointers.  

Tracey – it's done nothing but rain here, glad you're enjoying the sunny weather.  

Everhopeful – 121’s are great to get all your points across so I would have no hesitation in putting them forward.  Good luck today.

LB – lovely to see you posting and hope your dad is getting stronger by the day and home soon to see bubs.  Keep us posted. 

Naoise – sounds like the girls are well and truly settled, you sound like the wonder-mum I want to be!

Fiona – ‘the chosen ones’ I love it, can't wait to hear the news. 

Nic68 – great to see you have made it onto the thread, did you find someone on here from your area? 

No news from us today.  Hope everyone is well.

Love
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## askingangels

Hello Everyone

Viva - Congratulations  .
Nic68 - Welcome to the thread. I am from Hartlepool. Not too far away. Hope your journey runs smoothly. Mine is going ok.
Sanita - Hang in there. You sound like you are a great mam.
TraceyH- I was in the garden yesterday. It was glorious and I got a little burnt. 
Ever - I cant see why it would be a problem to put siblings in the same room. Im sure they will tell you if it is.
LB - Hope your dad is felling better and back home soon. Sending you lots of hugs.    .

SW came last week and brought the Form F in draft. We read through it and changed a couple of minor errors nothing serious. After SW had seen my mam she called back and collected it. It said some really nice things about us and how we are a really loving and strong couple. She hasnt done the conclusion yet but is coming back with that completed and the final version for us to sign. Everyone is on hols at the minute so a bit delayed. Anyway we have a panel date of 11th September      . It is after our hols but at least I have seen Form F and have a date. I cant wait.

Love and kisses to everyone.

Sxx


----------



## Misty C

Askingangels - great to hear your form F is just about there and you have an agreed panel date, its not too long to wait. Have you started your holiday countdown yet?
Love
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## bluebells

Hi Everyone,

Just popped in very quickly for a catch up.

Does/did anyone else finding working full time gives you no time to do all the adoption stuff? 

We need to sort our references, but haven't had time to sit down together and then ring them all. CRB forms now with SS, but allocation of SW been delayed  until they have done the checks. 

Wish we'd sorted the forms back earlier now! It's so hard to keep on top of it all!

+ need to read loads of books and Adoption UK mag.

Sorry - having a bit of a negative day.

Bluebells xxx


----------



## askingangels

MistyC yes 16 days and counting. Thats only 11 working days though. Yipee   

Bluebells We have found the process quite difficult when we both work full time. Feels like we dont get a lot of 'us' time but I think we better get used to that   

Hope everyone else is ok

Love & kisses

Sxx


----------



## cindyp

LB, sorry to hear about your Dad, hope he has a speedy recovery.  Glad to hear Bubs is doing well.

Sanita, have sent you a PM.

love
Cindy


----------



## nic68

Hi Misty C,

Theres a couple of people from North East. Asking Angels is from Hartlepool and i had pm previously from someone called Annabelle who is from Cleveland, who gave me some info.

Nicola x


----------



## Lynnm

Good Morning

Askingangels - You will be glad to finally have the old Form F finally finished.  That is the next milestone that we hope to get through.  Enjoy your hols and hope you can relax and have a fab time.

Lynn x


----------



## sanita

Thanks for all your messages of support.  It brought a tear to my eye reading them.  Things are pretty difficult here and I am panicking about DH going back to work on Thursday.  I will probably end up locking myself in the shed and hiding.  I am just trying to take one day at a time and savour the odd morsel of good times.  

Cindy - I have replied to your PM, Warning - Its a rant and a half.

Sanita


----------



## Viva

Good Morning everyone, 
Sorry for a me post, but we hit a (hopefully) minor setback yesterday, as we found out that our children's maternal grandfather is of (some degree of) Asian descent. The children's mum calls herself white British and has always brought the children up as White British (and this is what they look as does she!!!) We know very little about the Maternal Grandfather as he's never been on the scene and neither the birth mum or Maternal grandmother want to give information about anything!!! SS are very embarrassed that this has only come out now (but much better I think than just before panel!!) and worried that we might chage our minds, we couldn't care less but are quite surprised as you wouldn't think that this would have been an issue looking at the children. SS had a meeting yesterday and have no intentions of looking for another match as they are very happy with us as the match and think it would be confusing to the children to look for an ethinically mixed match as this is not what they have expereinced so far. We would however be very able to promote this aspect of their heritage especially as we live (and work) in racially diverse areas. However the whole thing is a bit of a political hot potato and we are now very worried that something with 'go wrong' at panel! A positive is that it has made us really realise quite how much we want to be parents to these children and we will fight as hard as we can for them as we feel that we are the right parents for them, we just feel so sad that we now can't enjoy this bit as we need to panel out of the way. We are meeting with our SW tomorrow so hopefully we will have some more news and reassurence then.
Love Viva
XXX


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

well i had a lovely weekend back home with Boo. The flooding meant DH stayed home as he had loads of work on. But it was so great to see Boo tearing aorund the house with his boy cousins....wrestling and shrieking wiht laughter. He's only got one girl cousin here, who he loves spending time with but the activities are very different.

He also has a new baby girl cousin over there, but he kept referring to her as his baby sister. And his imaginary friend "emily" was mentioned a few times.....will definately have to get him a sibling as soon as possible!

The leg seems to be mending well, thanks. And i also got to see my friend who lost here baby a few months back. She's doing really well, and is being so brave a philosphical about it all. Not sure i'd cope as well!

Jenneifer...very frustraitng for you about the girl...did you have long to think about her ebfore they told you you couldn't be considered for her?

Sanita, Boo suffered terribly for niteterrors when he moved in, but thankfully it only lasted about 3 months. One great tip that we still use is to do a review of the day after his bedtime story. It means he gets to run through the day so nothing confuses him to cause him anxiety just as he's falling asleep. The other things are probably just what you are already doing, lots of love and reassurance and a strict bedtime routine. It'll be a rough couple of months, but just remember it won't last forever.....make sure you have some quality time to youself....even if all you do is talk about the kids. I found a couple of glasses of wine with some good friends every couple of weeks did the trick.

Viva, congrats on your match.....i'm sure the latest blip is just the SW panicking. Going to panel is the worst stress point for them as it looks bad on them if they've forgotten/overlooked somehtign, so i'm sure it will all work out fine.

We still haven't moved house yet but please keep all your fingers crossed for exchaning contracts this friday!

xxruthie


----------



## andan

Hello I have posted on a different topic but guess this is where you all chat (tell me if I am wrong lol)

I am a newbie on here I have been a regular visitor to this section for a while but now decided to join - you seem lovely lot and very supportive. 

After 8 years of failed treatments and naturally ttc we decided to adopt (always wanted to) 
I have currently just finished home visits (started in January had a bit of a delay due to staff storages - long story) but at last finished home visits and hope to go to panel in late Sept/October.  Was a bit stressed with the delays  but now I know its not a race and things are meant to happen and the most important thing is that we get the right child. 

We are hoping for an slightly older child between 3-6.  I am very very excited now.

Looking forward to sharing my story/journey and also supporting others 

Going to try and have good read of this thread to catch up on news - you all seems to be on different stages which is good and very very exciting.


----------



## Laine

Hi everyone,

LB - sorry to hear about your dad.  Good to hear things are going well for you and bubs.

Sanita - thinking of you....I'm sure things will get better  

Cindy & Tracy - hope you hear from the court soon.

Viva - Congratulations!!

Jennifer - sorry to hear about the little girl.  Hang in there  

Fiona - hope you hear something soon.

Kj - have a nice time on holiday.

Momo - good luck with the International Adoption.

Naoise - sounds like the girls are doing well.

Ritz - hope you hear something soon.

Ever - I can't see one spare room for teo would be a problem either.  

Ange - thinking of you.  

Andan, Gayle, Myra & Nicola - welcome to the thread.  Look forward to sharing your journey with you.

Askingangels - good news on the panel date.

Jan - hope you hear about a panel date soon.
Kimmy - good to hear from you. Any news on a panel date yet?

Hi to everyone else.  

No news from me.....

Laine x


----------



## Mummyof2

Andan - welcome to you.

Ruthie - good luck with the house move.  We were given 2 weeks to think about littlie before being told that we could not proceed after all due to our location.  This is the third time it has happened to us as it seems all the babies in our area are having to be placed away.  Glad to hear that the leg is mending well.

Viva - congrats on your match.  Hope all proceeds well for you.

Sanita - very sorry to hear about all the problems you are having with the children settling in.  I have a 6 year old natural son.  At this age they have very definite ideas on what they want and like and don't like so I have some inkling of what you are going through.  Big hugs to you and as has already been said, in years to come you will look back on these teething troubles and realise that it didn't last too long, although it feels like it at the time no doubt.  I hope you are getting lots of support from your sw and the children's sw and friends and family as you need some time out.

Laine - sorry to hear that you still have no news  

Hi to everyone else and thanks for all the words of support as always.


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Sanita, hope things settle down soon and get easier for you all.
Jennifer, sorry to hear about the problems you've had with the match, they must have know before hand that you lived too close.
Viva, congrats again - September will soon be here.
Ruthie, hope the move goes well.
Laine, sorry you haven't heard anything yet.
Andan, Gayle, Myra & Nicola - welcome to the thread.  Everyone is really great, so supportive and helpful.
AskingAngels, great news about panel date.
MJ, hope you've settled in and enjoying your new home.
LB, sorry to hear about your Dad.
KJ, hope you are having a great holiday.

We're just waiting now for panel date - end of Sept, not a lot else going on.....
Hi to everyone I've missed.
Love
OT x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Everyone,

Just managed a quick read as I am at work. This working full time is hard work!! don't have anytime to catch up with all your news.

We are finally getting a visit from our new SW tomorrow morning to proceed with a sister/brother for pooh bear. She sounded really nice on the phone and hopes to get us to panel by October, i was sooooooooooooo happy when she said that, so fingers crossed.

So tonight i will be trying madly to clean up the house after a very active 3 year old in in bed.

TTFN

PBMxx


----------



## everhopeful

Hi PBM

Congrats on getting your first appointment! It's very exciting!

We've just had our one-on-ones with our new sw and although she's very nice, I'd forgotten how draining the home study sessions are!
And the cleaning? I thought it was hard work last time round, but yes, I agree it's much easier once the 3yr old's are in bed!!!

Good luck, will be thinking of you

x


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

So much going on it's hard to keep up!

Jennifer - I have to agree with the others and say that surely SS knew that this baby would have to be placed else where so why approach yourselves, so very annoying and disappointing for you and your family, lets hope the next time this is the one!

Laine - sorry you have not heard anything also, keep strong, it will happen and the waiting will be forgotton, LB &  someone else who's name escapes me!   had long waits but I bet they can't imagine life without their little ones now! 

PBM & everhopeful - your journey for additional members of your family have now begun and this time around you know what to expect, having gone through the process a second time I can honestly say it was easier and quicker, from approaching SS & being placed with a 9 month old daughter the whole thing took 9 months, just like a pregnancy but having a 9 month old baby at the end of the process!  The time will fly and I hope you get approved and matched as quickly as we did.

Old Timer - Panel date of September, it's only next month and then the excitment and unfortunately the waiting starts but it will be so worth it.

Sanita - I hope your a bit more relaxed about your 2 and the problems you are facing.  It is never easy taking on an older child, our DS was nearly 4 when we adopted him & it was a real wake up call but the boundaries and rules you put in place and stick by will help give your children the help, guidance and support of a loving, caring home where they will feel safe and secure.  You are doing an excellent job and if you do need to lock your self in the shed for 5 minutes then make sure there are no spiders first!!  We all need time out from time to time and you are no diffrent from anyone else, just keep reminding yourself that what ever has happened will pass & it will make you all stronger by working your way through this.  Don't panic about DH going back to work you may find things change for the better as they only have you to rely on but bewarned that once DH comes back through that door they will not want to know you, again this is normal and that's when you let him take over!!

Andan - Welcome!!

Ruthiebabe - Glad the visit went well and your leg is on the mend, sounds as though your little one had a great time!

Hi to everyone else, it's school holidays so I don't get much time to sit and read and type messages, as normally my name is being called on more than one occasion.  Mum can you get my bike, Mum can I have an ice-lolly, Mum can such and such play in our garden............it's never ending BUT I'm not complaining its great being called Mum, even after 10 years I don't get fed up of it but I'm sure my DS at 14 calls me a few more things under his breath!! 

Love to you all
Andrea
xx

PS Laine the person whose name I could not remember has just come to me it was Nats!!


----------



## ritzi

hi all

gosh you are all so busy in one way or another  

like all of you i read the thread often - but unlike some of you i'm hopeless at personals and remembering where each person is at    but hello to all old and new  

i chased up SW manager (thanks misty for the advice   ) who after having leave last week recieved our form yesterday - and has allocated us a SW to begin home study   in typical august fashion she is off between 9-20th so i expect we won't hear anything till after that - but it feels so good to know that the HS is in the pipe-line. she also said the SW is lovely and she knows we will get on great - so that's  

enjoy the weather girls - quite warm today in wet old wales  

ritz.


----------



## fiona1

OMG - I have had a e-mail from SW to say baby's SW wants to come out and visit both sets of possible carers. EEEK better start cleaning the house, growing my nails, training the animals (and Elliot)

Sorry no personnels.

Fiona


----------



## Viva

Hi Fiona, 
Really pleased to hear that things are happening with regards to SW's making a decision about the littlie! It does feel scarey doesn't it knowing they are coming over to suss you all out, our SW told us not to be too tidy as they might think we'd never cope with the mess of littlies (but of course with Elliot you're used to that!!) and they if nails were important we'd never of got choosen for our two   my hands are always a bit of a mess!!!! Looking forward to hearing more and of course hoping that this will be it for you. When is the baby due and have do you know what the proposed contact arrangements will be. I really admire you going down the concurrency route, great for the littlies but hard on your nerves I would imagine.
Love Viva


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

1st SW visit done. 3 more booked and then going to panel 1st week in October OMG!

SW is really nice, she turned up early so I had just stepped out of the shower with wet hair, house only 1/2 tidy and my mum trying to get Poohbear dressed and fed. So normal family chaos. But I am sure that is what she wanted to see, real life with a 3 year old.

Got lots of paperwork to fill in and medicals to book, but we are well on the way to having a sister/brother for pooh bear.

TTFN

PBMx


----------



## fiona1

Hi All,

Andrea thanks four PM. We are off to Sunderland today for Sunderland v Spurs so i am in a massive rush. I will e-mail you next week. HOWEVER...... SW has just phoned to say the family that have the siblings has now decided to express an intrest in baby so we are no longer being considered. We aren't upset as we both feel the baby is best placed with its siblings. So back to the waiting game.

Hi to everyone will post more next week.

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona

Sorry to read your news but I'm sure it won't be long before you hear something else, it's a waiting game but you'll get there! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Teoroy

hello ladies,
I am writing for a piece of advice. I want to adopt from my home country but here is the dilemma. Do I go there and stay for 3 months while the home study lasts and get approved to adopt as a single person,DH adopts later or do I get a job and pay 4000 pounds and wait as long as it takes to have a hs done here in the UK?
How long does a hs last?
Why on earth do I have to pay 4000£?? Can I go via some government route/agency and not a private agency? Please, help! 
Love and thanks to all,

Teo


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi Teo,

i remember very well how annoyed i was when i first learned the costs associated with foreign adption. It seems outrageous, but at the end of the day SWs here are already stretched, and their priority is to take care of the children here. So what your paying to be assessed for foreign adoption is to cover the costs associated with the homestudy etc. If you can comfortable go home and adopt it sounds like a cheeper option, but you'd be wise to find out whether it will only take 3 months as it takes at least 8 months to be assessed here. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Fiona, hope the football goes well. And good on you for being so philosophical abut the baby. The one meant for you will be with you soon I'm sure.

PBM...wow that seems so fast. I hope ours goes as quickly when the time comes.

jennifer, how annoying about them telling you about the child when you couldn't be considered for her. We waited a year to be matched with Boo as we were living in the biggest city of the LA. So it "produced" the most children but they needed to be moved out of the area. I hope you don't have to wait too much longer.

better get back to the real world.
xxruth


----------



## Ange K

Hi Girls

Viva - great news that you've been chosen for your two littlies!

Jennifer - I'm sorry that you're having such a long wait - fingers crossed it won't be much longer.

Ever & Pooh Bears Mummy - it's great that you're both on your second time around now - it could be an option for us too as we've not ruled out wanting a second child.

Sanita - I hope things settle down for you - keep strong ((hugs))

Keemjay - hope you're having good hols!

Magenta - I love your praise method and sticker shopping aid - I'll have to try that one!

Misty - thanks for your PM, you're a sweetie! Any news from SW?

Well, after feeling pretty upset this last week, I'm now a happy girl again as we're starting intros with Cup Cake tomorrow!!!   I've been talking to the foster mum and CC is very excited and telling everyone she's got a new mummy and daddy. She's also getting to bring her 2 rabbits with her so we'll have more new arrivals! Her room is all ready for her - it's like a pink palace! I'll let you know how it all goes.

Love to everyone

Ange xx


----------



## nic68

Good luck Ange with your intros with cup cake. bet she's really excited about it all.

Nicola x


----------



## fiona1

Ang - Have a fab day tomorrow, the start of the rest of your life.

fiona


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Ange,

Have fun with cup cake tomorrow. It is the start of the rest of your life as a mummy. Have funxxx

Got to book medials tomorrow and post of paperwork. Next SW visit Thursday, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

PBMxx


----------



## Tarango

hello everyone,

I have just been trying to catch up with all what has been happening - there is sooooo much happening at the moment!!

Ange K - Good luck for intros tomorrow - how exciting !!- tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your lives!!     

Viva - also how exciting !! September will be here in no time and then whoosh!!

Hello to everyone else, I always mean to write a bit to everyone but I always forget by the time I have done a couple and I don't want this to turn into an epic!!  

Before I go - just a quick update - called SS - who were really nice - they had to call me back as the duty SW was on the telephone - forgot my telephone number - almost gave them my brother's number (he would have had a shock   ) but they had caller ID so read my number back to me  
Lovely lady phoned me back - had long chat - got quizzed - they said they like there to be a year between getting the bad news on the infertility front and starting the adoption road - we got our bad news in November last year but not the final no untilJune - SW said they would take from Nov and to apply then. Also said that we might need to be independently assessed due to DHs job (both work for LA but DH in SS side) but they would discuss that when we reapplied. So until November ..... 

sending lots of love and best wishes to everyone wherever they are on their journey to become mummies and daddies  

love
T
xxx


----------



## keemjay

hey all, back from my hols 

busy on here, welcome to the newbies 

ange - glad all is well now and intros are getting started..enjoy your first day 

viva - any more info? like someone else said, it sounded just like a minor blip to me...

sanita - sorry to hear things are difficult for you. the others have said it all really, i'm sure it will get better once the children realise where the boundaries are and that you intend them to stick with the rules you set. its hard being really tough at first but in the long run you will see the results. try not to panic about dh going back to work. you WILL cope 

no news here, had a lovely break in spain, lots of lazing around by the pool, eating and drinking. went too fast tho...back to reality now..hoping to hear this week about the job i applied for...
have had an initial written response from SS addressing some of our complaints..they are looking at policy changes as a result which is good. theres a certain amount of defensiveness of course but they do seem to be taking it all very seriously. bit late really but at least hopefuly no-one else will have to go through anything like it. I think we are going have some counselling to help us try and move on. not least because dh and i arent really talking at the mo very well, think we're both scared of upsetting eachother..and although i'm coping day to day, the minute anyone says anything i well up with tears, so i cant pretend to myself i'm ok really  i also am having a hard time letting go of littlie, in the back of my mind i fantasise that actually they'll come back to us in a couple of months and say its all ok and we can have her now (which could in fact happen but very unlikely, all depends on the court hearing in sept) last night i dreamt the foster carer and i were emailing about intros and i was watching a video of littlie  anyway i think the counselling will be helpful otherwise i think i might burst with all the stuff going round my head at the mo...

right got to get my butt in gear..the veg patch has gone mad since we've been away so need to go and gather some crops

love to all

kj x


----------



## jan welshy

ANGEK,

WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW.
Having gone through tx and everything with you I am (sorry) WE ARE SO PLEASED FOR YOU BOTH.
Enjoy the day with your excited little one.

KJ, glad break wnet well.

Love
WelshyXXXXXX



SW phoned last week to say she has drafted formF as "far as I can", but would like to include an A$ from each of us on our early years and how we feel we would be as parents etc (thought/knew we covered this in our interviews). SW coming in Spet to go over the form so panel date in October seems quite secure hopefully.

Hope you are all well.

Sanita, stick at it, you are doing brilliantly.


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
KJ, I am just about to pm you
Ange, what a day tell us all as soon as you can and don't forget your camera and video
Welshy, all sounds good roll on September
Sanita, your doing a great job, it's all early days we are all rooting for you!!!
Viva, not long till September!!
PBM and Ever wow your both on your way now great news!
Jennifer and Laine, thinking of you both stick in there fingers crossed you hear something soon
Magenta, how are you and littlie, we haven't spoken for a while

Love to everyone else,
All lovely and calm here after panel we are just your normal family getting on with life and it's great!
Love JD x


----------



## Ange K

Hi girls

We’re both in love with Cup Cake!!    The day couldn’t have gone any better. She came to the door with her foster mum to let us in and looked a bit shy but this only lasted a little while before she was showing daddy photos and taking his hand and showing him her rabbits outside. She came to sit on my knee whilst I showed her some photos and by the end of our 3 ½ hrs we were having lots of fun in the garden playing hide and seek and I was in her playhouse having a pretend tea party! She took a shine to my digital camera and wasn’t happy to give it back to me! 

She looked a bit confused when we were leaving but we reassured her that we’ll be back tomorrow and then we’re going out to the park. On the way home my DH said he was missing her already – she’s made a big impact on us both!! Can’t wait until tomorrow!!

Welshy – good news that things are moving!

Jilldill – it must be lovely knowing that you’ve got your ‘normal’ life now! I can’t wait!

Keemjay –  Glad you had good hols. I’m a big believer in counselling and have had it at various points of my life – grievence counselling when my mum died, counselling when my final tx failed - it feels good to let it all out. I hope you feel better soon.

Tarango – November will be hear in no time! It’s good that you’ve made contact with them.

Hi to everyone else and thank you for all your best wishes

Ange xx


----------



## fiona1

Ange,

Lovely to hear your news. Enjoy tomorrow. can't wait for the update.

Fiona


----------



## saphy75

Ange that's fab news hun, my eyes filled up a little reading your post. 

pam xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Ange,
Like Pam your post really brought tears to my eyes. I bet you can't wait for the evening to be finished and tomorrow to start and back to your little girl!!!
Love JD x


----------



## Teoroy

Ruthiebabe, thank you for you reply. Now I understand more where the sw-s stand. I still haven't made up my mind yet what to do.
Good luck to all!!
Teo


----------



## LB

Hi Ladies

Ange - sounds like a lovely day was had by all - so pleased for you XX

thanks for all the good wishes for my Dad - he is doing ok and we are so hoping that he will be home soon - thanks girls.

just had to share this one with you all..............
while out in the gardening in the garden with Bubs (who has now been here three months and is two and a quarter!)
i snuck into the house to change my gardening gloves and took the opportunity to just "gaze" at him.  well after a couple of minutes of pottering he realised that he coudn't see me.  He ran over to the spot where i was and starting shouting mammeee mammeee - first time! have always been ma till now- and then bless him he ran down the garden and was looking under the rhubarb plant - which is only about two feet high calling mammeee mammeee.  oh girls it was "that moment"  and after a huge smile had broken out onto my face i ran out shouting "here i am darling" - well he ran over and threw his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist shouting mammeeeee! he just looked to happy to see me - what a feeling!

yep the journey has been long but oh i wouldn't change a thing about bubs 




love to all
LB
X


----------



## Mummytoone

LB

Oh my goodness what a post! Can just imagine......................... fantastic  

xxxx


----------



## LB

thanks Lulu

i keep trying to send you a message but its full again!!


LB
X


----------



## Pilchardcat

LB - thats beautiful, so happy for you 

Loads of love
Amanda xxx


----------



## cindyp

Ange, great news about cupcake, can't wait to read more.

LB, the lovely feelings will just continue (and so will the not so lovely feelings when the tantrums really kick in  ).

Jill, normal family life?  Ah, you mean trapped in the noisy looney bin with a mountain of laundry  

love to everyone else, my PC will be crashing soon as it is approaching it's time limit, don't ask  

Cindy


----------



## shazzer

Hallo

I was wondering if I could join you if this is the right place for me. I am currently going through the home study part of the process and if all goes well we should go to panel in Jan. So far I have found the process much easier than I expected and not as intrusive as I thought, maybe I have been lulled into a fall sense of security. We are hoping to adopt a child between 2 and 4 . I still have to start my family book but I am not really very creative so I am struggling and I also have the compentancy folder to complete. I have found this all so interesting as you really get to think about things that you would not normally consider . I have been posting on another thread while I was trying IVF but that road has ended I cannot think about taking another drug and injection I just want me back and my life back. WE have one problem our daughter died 4 years ago aged 3 and she was our world but I hope knowing what we went through I can help a child that will have also experienced very sad and difficult times. However we have been told that 75% of sw wont touch us with a barge pole as they would find the topic to difficult to discuss. This has just made me more determined. I look forward to being part of this thread


----------



## jilldill

LB, you've had me in tears again! What a feeling that is I know and as Cindy says they do just continue!!!
JD x


----------



## keemjay

Ange - so pleased your first day with cupcake went so well 

LB - sounds like a truly lovely moment 

welcome shazzer. my you have been through the mill, so sorry to hear about your precious little girl  i really hope your loss doesnt impact your adoption..you are right - as you have experienced loss yourselves, perhaps you will be able to identify very well with an adopted childs feelings of their loss. i hope the sw's can see that as a positive. well done you for having the strength to press on through..hope you have a sympathetic sw...
i dont know if you watched the adoption progs on BBC1 a few weeks back but there was a couple there who had a little girl who had been a twin..sadly her twin had died and they decided to adopt a 2nd child. they successfully adopted a little boy. hope that gives you some hope.

kj x


----------



## jilldill

Hi Shazzer,
Just to add my hello and welcome to this part of the board. I couldn't agree more with KJ and I really hope they will see sense here and realise the strength and understanding you would bring to a child's life. I am so sorry for what you have been through and I hope your journey is a quick and pain free one. Please do keep writing here the girls are a great bunch and there is always someone to give a helping hand or just listen,
All the best JD x


----------



## Lynnm

Good Morning

Ange - You sound like you had a truly wonderful day yesterday.  I am looking forward to reading your next posting. 

LB - What a lovely story, that is one of those moments that remains with you in the memory bank.

Shazzer - I agree with KJ, you have suffered an increadible loss yourself  and you can relate this to a child.  Stick with it and I look forward to hearing your journey.

Hello to everyone.  My update is that I am approaching the end of the homestudy and we still seem on track to go to panel on 17th October.  My SW is visiting 2 of my references this week, can anyone shed some light on what they may/will be asked?

Lynn x


----------



## Misty C

Morning everyone

Bluebells - hope you are feeling lots more positive - it won't be easy gathering all the info and contacting people - even getting together to discuss it with DH! Its going to be worth it in the end.

Viva - like you I'm not sure what the problem is, but SW have to cover all viewpoints. Hope there is no delay for you.

Andan - hi there, it may take you a while to catch up on everyone here but enjoy the great stories.

PBM - good to see SW visit went well and SW got to see what family life is all about .

Ever - glad 121's went well, I always thought I cleaned things pretty regularly until SW started to visit - I think I just got paranoid and cleaned everything that didn't move!!!

Ritzi - glad to be of help, sounds like its full steam ahead - well after the holidays. It just gives you time to do some fun things and not think about cleaning!

Fiona - sorry to hear its back to waiting, but appreciate that littlie would be better placed with siblings. Sending you a big hug 

Teo - afraid I can't help you on the adopting abroad route. I found the following thread along the same lines that has further links for your: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=100425.0

Ange -delighted things have gone so well for CC, enjoy more fun today.

Tarango - sounds like its all fitting into place, enjoy some 'me' and 'us' time before the excitement of beginning to process.

Keemjay - pleased you have a good break, you so deserve it. I am also happy to see SW are taking all your comments on board and acting on them. I realise its been a hard lesson but hopefully no one else will go through a similar experience. Counselling is a good idea and I am sure it will help you both communicate a bit more and move on. Keep on taking care of each other .

Jan - can't believe you're at the form F stage already! I thought it must be really boring for people to read our paper but at panel they said it helped give a better picture of us (that plus the drawing my niece did of us as a family complete with pets - DH looked like Homer Simpson!).

LB - what a lovely story, you gave me a lovely warm glow and a few tears to the old eyes (give DS another hug from me).

Shazzer - welcome to the chat thread and glad you are finding the process not too intrusive. So sorry to hear you lost your daughter and I don't pretend to know what you have gone through . Our SW wanted to know as a couple how did we cope with difficult times - they just want to know you can cope. You are right that your loss will only make you more sympathetic to what a child may have gone through and I don't think SW would avoid discussing this with you. Keep us posted.

Its an epic I know but as I'm at home today I wanted to keep up with all your news. Sending lots of love to Nicola, Sanita, Laine, Askingangels, Jennifer, Ruthie, OT, Andrea, JillDill, CindyP, lynnm and anyone else I may have missed.

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## jan welshy

LB,

WHAT A POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EMJOY YOUR LIVES TOGETHER.

Misty........
DH and I are writing our extra snippet next week, just want to think about it all first.

Love
Welshy


----------



## fiona1

LB - Lovely to hear your story, a real goal for lots on here is to one day hear their child calling mummy or daddy, it is always so lovely to hear news about someone reaching their goal.

Shazzer - Sorry i can't offer any advice, I truely hope it doesn't impact on your adoption. Like you said. I would hope any SW would see your experiances as an aid to help a young child/ren cope with loss I look forward to following your journey.

Thanks to all of you for your support. Our SW is coming out later for us to sigh the fostering contract. We hope she may have news of more possibles. I gave up work 13 months ago for this and am now itching to have something to do. i have decided to apply for a job as it will either make everything happen quicker (you can guarrentee as soon as I get a job, we will get a child) or I just won't get bored waiting.

Will let you know how i get on.

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona - I know I have said this a million times but I know exactly how you are feeling, I also gave up work for 13 months before we got our placement & I had just started doing supply work at a local day nursery when we got the call, I did one week at the nursery but continued once things went the way that they did (been there 7 years now).......so go on and get a job and I bet you'll get a phone call!

Ange - Lovely to read all about your intros with cupcake, may she continue to bring you much happiness.

LB - lovely to hear from you and your lovely story has brought so many tears to many eyes on here!  Loved the bit about looking under the rhubarb plant!

Hi to everyone else, not got time to post many personals as DH is off sick as he got assaulted at work lat night and has a bad neck, feeling a bit sorry for himself but sat now listening to DD reading and it's lovely to see and hear!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## fiona1

Andrea, hope your DH is ok, what does he do? 

Fiona


----------



## superal

Hi Fiona - DH is a police constable to give him his proper title, your not supposed to call them policemen any more as that is sexist!  He is OK but his neck is just very stiff, a bit like a whip lash injury is how the hospital explained the injury to his neck.

Are you OK?

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## fiona1

Andrea,

I hope the person who assulted him gets "done"

SW has just left, no new placements at the moment, just waiting. They are coming back in 4 weeks so maybe we will have more news then.

Fiona


----------



## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Ange, so pleased all is going well with Cup Cake, enjoy every moment.

LB, the moment we are, or have, been waiting for, must be such a lovely feeling.

Shazzer, welcome to the forum and good luck.  Sorry to hear of your loss, I really hope you have a good SW and they reflect your experience in a positive light.  

KJ, good to hear you had a nice holiday.  

Fiona, sorry to hear about little one, must be disappointing even when you know they will be better off with siblings.  Hope you get more news soon.

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all well.
Love
OT x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

Sorry not posted for a while however been busy getting house sorted and also have our 2 nieces up at the mo and making the most of them as vv close to them and they know this is the last holidays they can defo stay with us- they are 5 & 6 and know all about our adoption.

Our panel date has been put back to 11th Sept as our SW is coming out to do our secondry visit on our orig panel date. to be honest we were expecting it, not to worried- whats 11
days in the grand scheme of things!

KJ- so glad you had a lovely time way- take it one day at a time- we are all here for you.

LB- i had   of happiness when i read your post- how lovely your son calling for you.

Shazzer-  you have been through alot however it goes to show strength of charater for you to continue- good luck

Fiona- like you i didnt work however i started work in may this year and its been fab- kept me busy........plus extra pennies! good luck 

OT- not long now till Panel for you and us! hows you?

Andrea- hope your DH is better soon- it is lovely when you get to sit back and watch/listern to your family.

MistyC-how u doing?

Asking- we are at panel same day- thinking of you

hi to everyone else- sorry if i have forgot you

Will be hosting chat tomorrow night from 7.45 pm- all welcome

Hugs

xxxx


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Popped into chat tonight and wondered if anyone else was around.  I'm finding all the different conversations in the lounge area hard to follow.  By the time I've typed I've lost the 'thread'!

Love
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## cindyp

Hi Misty

I popped in to and nobody was there, so I came out.  Will call back in a minute.

Cindy


----------



## Misty C

Hi MJ & Cindyp

Logged on again and you were away.  Just wanted to say sorry for the abrupt departure as DH had a  phone enquiry and needed on the computer - he couldn't wait (he almost chucked me of the chair!). Thanks for the chat I really really enjoyed it.

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## cindyp

Hi Misty, 

MJ was still having PC problems and had to log off so I came out of chat.  Nice talking to you both.  Hope I didn't scare either of you, it is great being a Mum, honest   

love
Cindy


----------



## nic68

Morning all,

Just an update from me. had our first visit from social worker last night to talk to us about the adoption process. everything went well and they are sending us forms to fill in to apply and then hopefully we will get on prep training course which starts end sept.

Wasn't happy that they said they would need to speak to dh son from previous marriage and they will need to send slip to his ex wife to complete and may need to speak to her, as we didn't want them both to know. we wern't gonna tell his son until we had passed panel so we didn't build any hopes up. also didn't want his ex to know incase she is arkward bout things. but they said the slip only asks if there has been any violence/abuse etc to her or child. they are not interested if they **** off ex's as they get a lot who do.

Anyway will update you all how things go.

Nicola x


----------



## Ange K

Hi girls

Just thought I’d update you on Cup Cake…..our intros are going really well. We’ve had a few days at the foster mums house and CC keeps asking me ‘ are you my new mummy?’ and when I ask her if she’s happy with that, she smiles and says yes!

Today and for the rest of the introductions, she is here in her ‘new house’, apart from 2 rest days we have. Her little face when she saw her bedroom was an absolute picture. The foster mum stayed with her for ½ hour and then went – CC wasn’t bothered at all. She just kept wandering around the house asking ‘Mummy, is this my new kitchen?’, ‘Mummy, is this my new garden?’,  ‘Mummy, can you come with me to my new bedroom?’, ‘Daddy, can you draw with me?’  – she’s just really funny and comes out with really cute things! She had lunch and tea with us and then DH took her back to FM’s house but CC said that she wanted to stay in Mummy’s house, aaaah bless!

Spoke to our SW today and they’re looking to bring our date forward when we can bring her home because things are going so well. It’ll probably be next Friday now! We were warned that introductions can be very tiring and that’s certainly true – what’s good though, is that I’ve lost a few pounds as I’ve not had time to eat between meals like I normally do! Good for the old diet!

LB – you made me laugh with your story of Bubs thinking you were hiding under the rhubarb plant! So lovely that he was shouting your name.

Shazzer – welcome to the thread and good luck with everything. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Lynn – good luck for panel – the time will soon whizz by and it’ll be here before you know it.

Fiona – good idea to apply for a job – it’s usually the case that when you move on organising other things that everything else suddenly happens!

Superal – I’m so sorry to hear about your DH – hope they got the person who did it.

MJ – 11th Sept will be here before you know it – good luck for panel!

Hi to keemjay, misty, welshy, jilldill, saphy75, cindyp, old timer and everyone else I’ve not mentioned.

Ange x


----------



## cindyp

Ange, great to hear things are going so well with cupcake   

Andrea, sorry to read about DH, hope he makes a swift recovery.

Hope everyone else is well, my parents are coming up for a visit this weekend so will be having a mad tidy up tomorrow.  I may be 44 but my parents can still make me feel like a guilty teenager  

love
Cindy


----------



## keemjay

ange - sounds like things are going really well, cupcake sounds gorgeous 

kj x


----------



## Lynnm

Ange - Another delightful update of CupCake, she sounds simply adorable.  Roll on next Friday. 

An update from me - sw has visited 2 of my references and they seem to gone quite well.  Sw reckons she only has to do 2 more visits with us and she should be ready to complete the final form. I can't believe we have 8 weeks on Wednesday to go    We are getting nervous and excited at the same time.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend
Lynn x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

LB, your post brought tears to my eyes.

These are the moments we all live for.

PBMxx


----------



## Old Timer

Ange, its great to hear things are going so well, roll on next Friday.
Love
OT x


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Ange - Glad the introductions are going well.  Yes they are very tiring so chill out on your rest days.  Also I lost loads of weight during the intros and also during the first 2 weeks of placement - most of it has now gone on not we are in the swing of things.  Enjoy.

We have had a phone call from little one's SW and she has now finished the court papers so, fingers crossed, we could have a court date at the end of Sept or beginning of Oct.  My nieces is being christened on 14 Oct so it would be nice if we could get to court before then and it would make it even more special.

Best wishes to everyone.  There is so much happening at the moment it is hard to keep up but I love reading everyones news.

Tracey x


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi

Just a quick update from me as we are of on our Holli's tomorrow for a few days down on the south coast, sil lives there. SW came on Thursday and stayed for about 1 1/2 hours. She is really happy with everything and loves pooh bear. She has cancelled next weeks visit as she is so happy with us so is only coming one more time plus 2nd SW visit. Still on track for October panel and she even mentioned being placed as early as November!!! OMG!!!. So I thought i had better let work know as i have only been there 6 weeks, anyway my new boss was fine. The main issues is that I am back at work by Sept 08 so I can take a full time student, so for them it will be better for me to be off sooner rather than later, but as i said it is a real waiting game.

Ange, hope intros are going well with cup cake.

catch up with you all soon. 

PBMx


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

thanks to all who enquired about DH he is all fit and healthy again now and the person who assaulted him has been dealt with............charged with assault!!

PBM - told you the second time round was quick, do you think your SW has someone in mind already??

Hi to everyone else, just about to go out shopping and get a few things for our camping Trip on Tuesday, that's when the weather is supposed to be getting better, we'll see!!

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,

Ange, what a lovely post I am so happy it's all going so well for you all

PBM, wow how quick is that!!! great news

Tracey, roll on a court date for you it's quite a mile stone we loved ours though know from others we were very lucky with the judge we had

Andrea, glad all that is over with!

We are just back from a few days staying with various family members. Sunshine had an absolute ball she is so loved by everyone I find it very emotional!!!
Love to all
JD x


----------



## Boggy

Hiya!

i just wanted to share my milestone we passed today because I'm so excited!   We finished homestudy and today signed all the paperwork.  Now the next big thing is the panel on 1st October!  There seem to be so many people here going to panel in sept/oct so hopefully we can share our nerves!

We've also been told there's a good chance we'll be matched by christmas - i can't contain myself but trying not to get my hopes up!   

Bx


----------



## saphy75

Woo Hoo Boggy, i have updated you on the list  

If any one wants adding to the list or the list updating, please send me a pm with what stage you are at  

pam xx


----------



## Boggy

Thanks, it nice to have moved up another stage!  

Bx


----------



## Old Timer

Well done Boggy.  We go to panel 28th Sept so just in front of you.  Our SW came tonight to talk about what to expect and I was nervous just talking about it.

Pam, can you update me please?  Panel 28/09/07

Love
OT x


----------



## Lynnm

Good for you Boggy . Not long now.

Old Timer - Roll on September for you at the panel.

Good luck to you both.  I am just behind you and I am nervous

Take Care
Lynn x


----------



## Misty C

Hi everyone

Cindyp – you haven’t scared me at all, looking forward to hearing more of your experiences and eventually sharing them.  Good to chat to you and MJ.  I laughed at your parents making you feel like a guilty teenager, I can sympathise!

Nic68/Nicola – hope things are going well and that contact with ex partners/spouses is not too stressful.  It appears to be the procedure especially when sons/daughters are involved.  Keep your chin up and focus on the future – the one with you being a lovely mummy.

Ange – loved your post, how sweet CC is.  Thanks for the piccies, me and DH think she is the most beautiful little girl we have ever seen.  Is there any news when she is coming home for good? 

Lynnm – things are going pretty quickly now, panel will be here before you know it. 

Tracey – keeping my fingers crossed the court date is soon for you, how lovely if its around the same time as your nieces christening. 

PBM – enjoy your holidays - you may be away by now - good news that SW was happy with everything and everyone (PB especially).  Hope the placement is soon for you and its good to see the ‘boss’ is fine about everything. 

Superal – your poor DH, good to see some justice done but I’m sure it must have got to him.  You’ll be on TLC duty for a while?  Enjoy the camping – like PBM you are probably away by now.

Jilldill – sunshine will be blooming with all the love you and the family are giving her, it’s lovely to hear she’s having so much fun.

Boggy – congrats on passing home study, it’s a big milestone – no more cleaning, cleaning or cleaning!  Not long until panel. 

Bit low just now as the waiting is getting to me this week. SW cancelled Tuesday’s meeting and we will see her next Monday just to catch up.  I’m sure this will cheer me up a little. 

Hope everyone is well and for those of you having a holiday weekend, enjoy it to the full!

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Misty C

Thanks for your thoughts and well wishes. I am sorry you are feeling a bit down at the moment, the waiting bit must be so hard. sending you a big cyber hug{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}.

PBMxx


----------



## Misty C

Many thanks PBM,  .
x


----------



## Mummyof2

Hi everyone, been on holiday for a couple of weeks so now it is back home with a mountain of washing.  

No news here but we go on a course in September for people who have been passed at panel but are waiting for a child.  Wonder what they can tell us - be patient and it will happen I expect  

Congrats to all those that deserve it and hugs to those that need it!


----------



## superal

Hi everyone

Like a few others on here we have been away for a few days and I to like Jennifer are busy catching up with washing and ironing!!

Camping was great fun and we chose the best time to go away with the weather we came back yesterday due to showers and the noisy "neighbours" we acquired on Friday!!

DH had to go and politely ask them to turn off the TV they were watching in their tent to be met with abuse and the following day are car was scratched all the way along the passenger side............have no evidence it was them but it's coincidental!  That was Friday night and when we saw the weather on the Saturday morning we decided to come back home, the Lake District is lovely but it became very busy due to the bank holiday weekend.

Hope evryone is OK.

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hello,

not been on for a while as we've been finally moving house! It dragged so long it still doesn't feel real. Boo loves all the extra space, so i'm sure we'll fill it with our [email protected] soon enough!

we went to check out his new nursery last week, and he didn't want to come way.....a week solid with us and he's bored and looking forward to playing wth some kids! He's doing a couple of half day sessions next week, then back to 4 days a week and a normal routine....i have to say i'm looking forward to the return of normality. Between breaking my leg and not being able ot do much exercise, along with my comfort-eating tendenseys i've gained half a stone since june.

Andrea....can't believe someone would go camping in a tent and would bring a TV.....some peopel are crazy! sorry about your car though.

Jennifer, hope the course is "enlightening".

anyway hope you're all enjoying your bankholiday weekends,
xxruthie


----------



## ~Twinkle~

Hello Girls,

I hope you dont mind me off loading but I really need to!!!

We went for our adoption open evening last year around November we had a our course booked for April but to our suprise it got cancelled due to the lack of social workers. Our pre course was then re-booked for end of June.  We were told that a social worker will be in contact with us within 2 weeks after finishing the course sadly we chased it the other day and they said one of the social workers who ran the course was long term sick and the other on hols so they were not able to get together to discuss our prep course basically they said if we dont hear anything by the end of sept to call.   

As you can see we are not far off waiting a year before even getting on the road to any kind of home study I have read some post on here and some people have already adopted and have their little one by the end of the year.

Im just frustrated as its long enough as it is but sometimes I just feel there is hurdles in the way yet again, I know the road is a long waite anyway and I have to be patient but why are some countys different when we are going through the samething. 

We are first time parents, never been married before etc so what's standing in the way  

Sorry just wanted to email encase some of you have had the same experience, or are experiencing the same thing. Its just Im getting  older and everyone around me is having kids and enjoying them I feel low at the mo  sorry. Im sure I will get over it it does not help that my job role is going in a years time, sometimes I get over whelmed in just wanting to be a mummie, do you know what I mean girls?? 

Good luck to everyone 
Take care
~Twinkle~


----------



## jilldill

Hi Twinkle,
I am really sorry to hear about your long wait to get started and how low you are understandably feeling! Different areas really do seem to vary with time scales which is of no comfort what so ever to you I know. We had a 9 month wait between prep course and being allocated a SW which time several people from our prep course had passed panel and been placed. I guess all you can do apart from ringing and contavting them is to fill your time in as positive a way as you can. That too is difficult at times when you are feeling low as energy is not all it might be. During our 9 year journey we travelled and it was a wonderful escape from it all. I know this is not always financially possible or time wise with work but short weekend breaks just to keep you sane!

Do take care and please just off load here whenever you need to
Love JD x


----------



## fiona1

Twinkle - I think I have e-mailed you before. We have been assessed by Dover SS for Concurrency. We had our prep course in Oct 06, Home Study Jan - June 07, Panel July 07 we are now waiting a match, if you want more info let me know.

Take Care

Fiona


----------



## Lynnm

Hi Twinkle - We had a 9 month wait from the interview to going on our prep groups, so I understand your frustrations on the waiting game.  At times I felt like a 'stalker' to the agency .  Like you I was told there was resourcing issues and that they had someone on long term sick.  Please try and stay positive until you get on your groups and maybe try taking on some kind of project you will enjoy to fill your time.  I tried to fill my waiting time by redecorating and going to the gym regularly.  I was pleased with my results - house was looking fresher and I felt great.  Take care and let us know when you start the next steps.

Lynn x


----------



## keemjay

hi all

ange - hope cupcake is now and home and settling well 

superal, so sorry your holiday was tarnished by some ****ers 

ruthie - i can tell you that an awful lot of people take their tv's camping, cant understand it myself, think its very odd behaviour  glad the house move went ok

twinkle, it must be soooo frustrating, dont be scared to be a nuisnace to the agency....

jilldill -  i think it was around this time last year when you had all your sad news, thinking of you, the first anniversaries are hard 

nothing much going on here..i have an interview tomorrow, so fingers crossed, i really need to get back to work. ss have organised our counselling so we have an appt on thurs..kind of looking forward to it, just to offload really, and get dh and i talking again. we had a lovely day at the beach on sat but hard too cos we had such dreams of what days at the beach would be like this summer  we've had more letters from SS, lots of sorrys and 'maybe we could have done things differently but doesnt really change anything 

love to all

kj x


----------



## jilldill

Thanks KJ yes you are right, how thoughtful of you to remember. We have just had my FIL's first anniversary, in 3 weeks it's my MIL's first anniversary and the day after her funeral last year we got the call about "Sunshine" !!! Boy what an emotional and difficult time it was! I will always remember tha kindness and wonderful support I was given by all the girls on here.
Thanks again KJ I really appreciate that,
Love JD x


----------



## ritzi

hi all

haven't posted for a while as nothing to report   
am delighted to say we start home study next thrusday  
so far we've had our CRB, referee forms are done, medicals are done (well dh this evening) and so we're ready to push on. the SW said today that prep course is looming also but she hasn't got a definite date as yet.....

so roll on next week - and with a bit of luck panel around december/january.....

twinkle - i really felt for you reading your post - hang on in there  

ritz.


----------



## Pooh bears mummy

Hi Eveyone,

Medical in the morning. Got draft of our re vamped form F, which reads really well so still on track for October panel subject to CRB's coming back on time. Fingers crossed.

PBMx


----------



## Misty C

Hello everyone 

PBM - good luck today with medicals!

Ritzi - you'll enjoy home study, wow panel in December or January that's great news. 

Jilldill - thinking of you this week and sending you  a cyber  xxxx

Keemjay - how did the interview go?  I think SS mentioned to you that would change some of their policies, will this happen?  I'm sure the counselling sessions will help you and DH.  Take care of each other. xxxx

Lynnm - an agency stalker, what fun!  I like your advice to Twinkle and may start my own keep fit/house freshening regime, thank you!

Twinkle - everyone here has given you good advice.  Waiting is not my strong point and my DH says  just to relax and enjoy some 'us' time until the little ones arrive.  The problem is he's always on our soon to be blown up computer!  I seriously need to get him trained!

Ruthie - good luck in your new home!  Boo sounds like he is just loving his life with you.  Was it difficult finding a nursery?  I know we are not even matched but this is something I've been thinking of and don't really known how to go about - is there a check list, waiting list or things to look out for? 

Andrea - sorry to hear about your car, some people are just not very nice (I'm being polite of course!).  Glad that you enjoyed most of the camping trip.  

Our update is our SW is moving to sessional work from her part-time position.  We will miss seeing her as often and understand she will be much happier with this.  We have been assured that we will not be 'forgotten' and the HOD will be keeping an eye on us.  A little concerned that HOD is really busy but she has always been involved in all assessments etc.  

Love to JenniferF and Fiona1 an everyone else on the thread. 

Misty C
xxxx


----------



## suffolklady77

hi to everyone yes i'm still lurking waiting for our info meeting in october just wanted to say as i work within the child care provision industry that when you look at nurseries or potential ones always check the ofsted report these are available online and provde really good info!
also remember that if you visit it may not always be how it is day to day! I worked briefly (i wasnt happy with the leval of care so i left sharpish) at a  nursery who made sure everything was perfect for visits but the rest of the time it wasnt very good at all I dont want to scaremonger or anything like that but its worth doing the background research first just beacause it is popular or has a waiting list doesnt always make it good quality care also maybe thing about childminders as they tend to work with smaller groups of children and they are all inspected and registered by law now so they are a good option too.
-Gayle x


----------



## Misty C

Gayle, good to see you posting and October is not that far away for info meeting!  Many, many thanks for the information on nurseries, its good to see a little of the 'other side'.  I will definitely watch out for everything you have said.  

Love
Misty C
xxx


----------



## wynnster

Hi All

Hope you're all well.

Good to see lots of new people posting.

Our SW went to visit my mum yesterday, she said it went very well and was all positive. My nephew (Almost 4) was there too and took to her straight away and insisted she wear his Jester hat  

Interesting you should be talking about Nurseries as it has been suggested that we start looking now, Our sw also suggested that we call and speak to the Health Visitor!!!

We go to panel 11th October.

Can I ask those who already have their littlies at what stage they approached Nursery / Pre-School / Health Visitor?  I must admit to feeling a little silly enquiring now when we don't have a clue how long our wait will be and I'm interested to see others opinions?

Kim x


----------



## suffolklady77

hiya I dont post as ive nothing much to say yet I wont shut up when i do belive me lol justa thought has anyone had any questian marks over their weight being an issue?
as i have pcos I struggle to keep it down sometimes and on the chart doofrey in the drs i am technically obese   worrys me slightly mostly as dh had an application turned down with is first wife turned down as she was overweight admittadly much more than i am from what pics ive seen of her but i would hate to have history repeat itself for him
-Gayle


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

Hi Suffolk Lady

Like you i am a PCOS sufferer and am over weight - its not stopped us so far)go to panel next month- its more about showing them your phyically fit to care for a child/children- My DH weight is something that has been raised however it is not an issue!

xxx


----------



## magenta

KIMMY said:


> Hi All
> 
> Hope you're all well.
> 
> Good to see lots of new people posting.
> 
> Our SW went to visit my mum yesterday, she said it went very well and was all positive. My nephew (Almost 4) was there too and took to her straight away and insisted she wear his Jester hat
> 
> Interesting you should be talking about Nurseries as it has been suggested that we start looking now, Our sw also suggested that we call and speak to the Health Visitor!!!
> 
> We go to panel 11th October.
> 
> Can I ask those who already have their littlies at what stage they approached Nursery / Pre-School / Health Visitor? I must admit to feeling a little silly enquiring now when we don't have a clue how long our wait will be and I'm interested to see others opinions?
> 
> Kim x


Kim,

In answer to your question we didn't look at anything until after we were matched although as part of homestudy I had to do 2 exercises about what was available in my community as support (won't go into details but you probably did it too). it meant when we were matched I knew where to access HV; dentist, gp; toddler groups etc. Worthwhile dong even if not part of your homestudy - it was a godsend to have it all listed in front of me when i had my first week at home alone with Bubbles and didnt know where to start. First things to do after matching are register with gp and hv; then dentist and other health professionals. you don't need the child to have been placed yet and it is easier to fill out all the forms without a child in tow!

Bubbles is only now (10months on from placement) going to a short crechetime etc without me there (2hours max) - she needed quite a while to 'settle enough' with us to be left with anyone else and a bit longer to be left with someone she didn't know. However she has a full diary of toddler groups and classes that she goes to with DH or me. Not that it is always an issue, but be aware that even the most outgoing adopted toddler/child may not be able to go to nursery for quite a while after placement with you.

Anyway....hope that helps.

no news here - still waiting for our court date [yawn]

magenta x


----------



## Ruthiebabe

Hi,

in relation to the nursery question I agree with magenta, it'll all depend on the individual child. With boo I statred bringing him for a couple of mornings a week after about 3 months. He was one of 5 kids in his foster home, so while loving the 2:1 adult attention was missing the interaction with kids. I don't know why but i didn't feel overly comfortable bringing him to a toddler group as he was aleady a big and boisterous 2 and a half year old. 

Also his sleeping was pretty bad in the early days, which didn't affect his energy during the day but did mine, so a coupel of hours a week was a godsend.

As for selecting one i was lucky to have a friend who lived here with her 3 year old just last year, so she gave me a few pointers. I went to visit the one she sent her child to but didn't like the woman who ran the pre-school group. I was still on crutches and having to stand on one foot but she made me stand for half an hour while she waffeled on. But mostly what annoyed me about her was that she started talking about one of the kids and his behaviour and how she knew it was all stemming from his home-life......i didn't think it was very professional, and it makes you wonder if she had an adoted child how much she'd be telling the other parents. 

The one we have opted for is a little more expensive, but is out of the town a bit so has a huge garden and veggie patch for the kids to dig and grow veg. Its a montessori one, so we're hoping that boo will learn how to entertain himself a bit more......even if its just for 5 minutes! Its also directly on my way to work so works out practically too. I think the reports are helpful, but going with you gut on how you like the people who work there is a good measure too.

hope this is helpful,
xxruthie

PS twice this week boo has asked when our baby is coming, so either i have put on a lot of weight or its time to star bothering scial services again!


----------



## casey

Hi everyone 

Haven't posted for ages as we have been in Spain for 2 months without internet. Tiger has now settled in really well and his confidence is growing all the time. DD is finally getting used to having to share things and a little bro invading her space. So things are calmer and I feel much happier with everything.  

Will post again very soon when i have read the thread and caught up on everybody's news. 

KJ - so sorry things did not work out for you and dh - I hope your agency has learnt lesson from what has happened 

Misty - will PM you back very soon 

bye for now 
caseyxx


----------



## wynnster

Magenta & Ruthie - Thanks girls for your input and I agree 100% with what you've both said, I thought I should ask though.  I have also had to do the local amenities bit but thought it too early to actually contact them!  I feel sound in that my thoughts to wait until placed have been justified - Thank you  

Gayle - I also have pcos (almost typed pcso then but remembered thats the police support people       ) and also overweight, this has not even been mentioned though (so far) and i'm physically fit and my size / weight certainly would not affect any child place with us.  I'm sure if you are fit enough to withstand the physical demands of a young child and you lead a healthy lifestyle with good diet and exercise then your sw should be able to see this. 
Evidence shows that obesity causes increased risk of many health complications and can even shorten your life - Authorities have to ask should children who have already had signifficant losses in their lives be placed with parents who are at increased risk of ill health?  - Maybe this was the reason for your partners ex being previously turned down?

Casey - 2 Months of sunshine - Bliss  

Kim


----------



## HHH

Kimmy - we are due to go to panel in OCT and SW suggested about a month ago we contacted local schools ( we are looking at 0-5) and Health visitor. Haven't done the schools yet - as summer hols and like you i felt it's a bit too soon with no children in mind BUT...I did contact health visitor who came out to see me and gave me LOADS of really useful info. I explained to them from the beginning we were prospecive adopters and didn't know how many or what age...but they were sooooo helpful.

I now have a pile of info on local amenities, toddler groups, pre-schools, clinics   and she gave me an NHS produced book about child development. Not only was i impressed but so was SW and it looks great in our form F that I know so much already!! 

My advice - give it a go and if your HVs are as helpful as ours it will be a real asset to have  that info before panel or matching....

HHH 



HHH


----------



## sundog

Blow, just lost my post so here is the short version. After a long absence (lovely hols and then family visits) I have finally found chance to get back on and catch up. A months worth of catching up takes a long time and my poor little brain is now a blur with all your news!

Our bit of news is that we are being considered along with one other couple for a 4 month old little boy! Wow! We won't hear until 10th Sep whether we have been chosen so are trying not to think about it until in case it comes to nothing.

Love to all

Sundog
x


----------



## cindyp

Wow Sundog, fingers crossed for the 10th.   

Cindy


----------



## TraceyH

Hi All

Sundog - Fingers crossed for 10th September.

Kim & HH - Good luck for panel in October.

Kim - I enquired about nursery places when we found out that we had been matched, but didn't do anything about it until we had bought him home. We bought him home in January and I went to Mother and Toddler groups for a short time.  He started nursery for 2 afternoons a week in June and for 3 full days in July before I returned to work and he loves it.  The Health Visitor made contact with us as the local authority/GP seem to inform them that there is a new child in their area.  As Magenta has said we also had to do a piece in our home study about local nurseries etc.  Registering with a dentist in another kettle of fish in this area but I think the most important thing is registering with the GP although they will register them with their original name but I have requested that he be known by our name and our surgery has been really obliging.

Magenta - Hope you are not waiting too long for a court date.

We have now submitted our court papers so just waiting for a date.  Hopefully we won't wait long as we have been able to choose a court in our county instead of travelling to where little one's original adoption order was issued.  Apparently this is possible under the new Children's Act.

Best wishes to everyone else.

Tracey x


----------



## Old Timer

Hi All
Thanks for all the reassurance on my 'Is it normal' thread, am trying to forget about panel now until we get back from our hols though we will get our form f early next week to check out.

We have been told by our LA that they do not want 'their' children going into nurseries or childminders and if I return to work they expect me to find childcare from within the family.  As it stands we could do that but we also aim to have all legal stuff done before I would return to work, planning on 12 months leave, so they wouldn't have a say anyway.  It always amazes me how different LAs are.

Sundog, good luck for 10th, will think of you while I celebrate my birthday.

Casey, good to hear Tiger is settling in well.

Magenta & Tracey, hope your court dates come through soon.

MJ, good luck for the 11th.

KJ, hope you are doing OK.  Answers from SS won't take away the pain you have suffered but hopefully no-one else will go through the same.  

Hi to everyone else, sorry no more personals - need to catch up on all the news.

Just to say, I have come to the conclusion our LA only want rich people to adopt.  Our SW keeps harping on about our savings, by the time we go to panel we will have saved £5K ready to cover the shortfall in our incomings verses our outgoings for the 9-12 month period when adoption pay finishes.  I think that is good going in the space of less than 6 months but she still doesn't seem satisfied and says panel will no doubt ask us about our finances.  Has anyone else had so much pressure over savings

Love
OT x


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

Hope you are all well

OT-our SW has not for one second asked about our savings- she knows what are incomings/outgoings are and thats that- she has never asked to see any bank statements or told us to save- the other thing is we have never been told that we are not able to put ours into child care/nursery esp as we want 2-3 children 5yr and under!

Well we have our form F- its been  good reading- lots of little errors(more spelling) so lots of post it notes on it-on a tight time scale so dropping it back tomorrow and going back up monday to sign it as needs to go to panel tue- only 10sleeps till panel- now the nerves are kicking in!!!!

xxx


----------



## Mummyof2

OT - we had to show a balance sheet of our incomings and outgoings but nothing was mentioned about our savings.  We just said that we had savings sometimes and not at other times ie Christmas and that was accepted.  We have also been told that adopters are not expected to work for the first year after having an adopted child placed with them.

Superal - horrible people  

Sundog - fingers crossed for you  

Gayle - I am classed as obese and I had to show to SW that I was making an effort to lose weight before panel.  I lost 1st 2lbs.  Just over a year later I have put it all back on now + additional 5lbs    Just had our annual review and got weighed but still got passed and no mention of my weight this time.

Twinkle - sorry to hear of your disappointment with having your prep course put back again.  We went on our prep course after 4 months of the open evening but it has been almost 3 years since we went along to our open evening and decided on the adoption path and we are still waiting for a child to be placed with us so I don't think the wait for the prep course has any bearing on the ultimate outcome of when a child is placed.  Hugs to you.

Jilldill - hugs to you for your 2 very sad anniversaries. 

MistyC - hi to you.

No news here.


----------



## Ange K

Hi Girls!

Just a quickie from me to update you on Cup Cake. She moved in with us a week ago after a very tearful goodbye (between me and foster mum!) and everything has been fantastic. She's got into a really good routine sleeping and goes to bed at 7pm and wakes up at 7.30 the next morning - she hasn't woken up in the night at all. Eating's a bit of a nightmare as she tends to say that she doesn't want whatever I've given her, even though it's exactly what she was getting at the foster mums. 

She's such a delight to be around and keeps telling us that she loves being here with us. We've introduced her to quite a few people now and although shy at first, she soon warms up with them. I'm looking forward to starting mother and toddler groups with her in the next couple of weeks and hopefully she'll be ready for a few mornings at nursery before Christmas.

My house is a bombsite though - nobody told me that a three year old would come with so many clothes and toys! Sorry for the lack of personals - i've not been able to come on the pc much, so haven't caught up with your news. 

a very happy
Ange xx


----------



## jilldill

Hi Girls,
Ange, it all sounds wonderful with CC!!! 
OT, we just said we had savings and that was it
Jennifer, thanks for your kind mention
Magenta, sorry no court date yet! What a pain
KJ, hope your ok
Barbarella how are you?
Casey, really glad to hear Tiger is doing so well


Sunshine has had her 2nd birthday this weekend. We have had the most wonderful and emotional time. We had a family meal for 12 on Saturday night with our little one as guest of honour and a party today. I really wanted to make a little speech but was over come with tears and couldn't! Playing Stevie Wonder's "Isn't she lovely" set me off not helped by Sunshine going round each person with her beaker doing Cheers!. It was just such a happy occasion boy is that little girl loved by her family it's delightful to see!!!

Love to all JD x


----------



## cindyp

Hi All, got time for a longer post tonight.

JD, what a lovely way to spend a weekend, it's so lovely to read this post when compared to last year.  I bet Sunshine was the belle of the party and I'm not surprised she is loved by all the family.

Ange, life with Cupcake sounds great, lol at the bombsite description, believe me I think most of us Mums can sympathise with you there  

Jen, I'm still hoping that you won't be waiting much longer.  I know what you mean about the weight, my scales are creeping upwards again.  I've just bought myself a pedometer to try and encourage me to do my excercise.

Gayle, I'm another "obese" woman, the subject did come up at my first adoption panel (from a very skinny doctor) but I convinced them that I wasn't about to bring up the kids on a diet of junk food.  Mind you I think that the fact that I have a skinny DH demonstrated that we don't spend all our time on pizza and chips.  Unfortunately I'm a bad comfort (chocolate) eater and spending 10 yrs ttc and going through the adoption process has meant a need for a lot of comforting.

MJ, not long to go now.

OT, your LA sounds a bit fussy, ours never went on about savings nor did they say anything about childcare having to come from within the family.  Are you sure it's not just your SW's prejudices and nothing to do with the LA's policies?

Tracey and Magenta hope you get your Court dates soon, it's good to get that final hurdle over with.  We are waiting for the date for Cuddles, the Court has mentioned October as a possibility.  Can't wait, apart from anything else we are hoping to visit friends in Austria over Xmas so will need a passport.

Casey, glad to read things have improved and that Tiger is settling down.  I must admit I am still getting used to sibling squabbles.  Our lounge isn't the biggest one in the world and DD keeps wanting to crawl over DS's playmat when he has all his cars out.  I'm sure you can imagine that his response isn't quite as laid back as I would like it to be.  Hopefully when our extension is finished (hopefully another month to go) things will improve.

Kimmy, we didn't look at nurseries until after DS had been placed with us for a while, he started for two mornings about 5 months after he was placed at one which was personally recommended by a friend.  With both kids I took them to see the Health Visitor as soon as they were placed as part of their registration at the doctor's.

KJ, I hope the interview went well and that the counselling sessions help.

Misty I hope the SW's change doesn't affect things too much and that the HOD live up to their promise.

love to Fiona, Andrea, PBM and everyone else I haven't mentioned.

It must be a first but DH is actually looking forward to going back to work next week (he works in a school).  This year I've taken advantage of his long summer holiday to do lots of overtime.  He loves our kids but he has found it more stressful dealing with two children than I have.  I don't know what the rest of you experience with your DH/DP's but mine finds it hard to tune out the noise and it's amazing how much noise a 3 yr old and 1 yr old can make  

love
Cindy


----------



## ♥ M J ♥

hey ladies

how are you all?

Will be hosting chat this weds night from 7.45 pm

Sorry for no personals

Mega nerves now kicking in for next tue for panel- said to DH it feels horrid knowing these people getto say yes or no (a bit like when having tx with the nhs) - i know in my head that they wouldnt take us to panel if they didnt think we would get through however my heart is scared........if they said no i dont know what we would do!!!

hugs

xxxx

PS- What to wear?? im not a skirt/dress person so what thinking smart(ish ) 3/4 length trousers and top? smart however casual?

x


----------



## saphy75

MJ try not to worry hun (easier said than done) you'll be fine at panel   i babbled like crazy during our panel and i still passed   your sw should pick up any questions that seem difficult or odd. as for what to wear i would say smart casual, as long as you feel comfortable   although i did make dh wear a shirt and tie    

good luck  

pam xx


----------



## cindyp

MJ, I agree with Pam, don't worry you will be fine.  I wore black trousers and a top for ours, DH wore trousers and a shirt, no tie.

Cindy


----------



## Misty C

Hey 

Kimmy   good to see SW visit went well, nephew sounds a wee honey with his jester hat!  I have looked at where our local nurseries are and I have been a bit naive about the cost of attendance  I might need a second job!

Gayle  you're a scream!  Chart doofreys at the GPs show my BMI is 34.5 obese (normal is 25 apparently) and I have been passed at panel.  Our GP explained in my medical that there had been weight gain during fertility treatments.  I have tried so hard this year to lose weight and my most successful was 5lbs in 6 weeks  where I completely crumpled and went off the rails (used to at least 2lbs a week loss when dieting before!).  Age and meds have taken their toll so back to trying again  only I am not going to weigh myself just eating healthily and doing my callanetics (yes I still have the books).  

Magenta  great practical tips I am planning to speak to HV and other's now.  Its making me feel  I am doing something positive and not just waiting so thanks for that. 

Ruthiebabe  how sweet of boo, have you contacted SS yet for a brother or sister?

Casey  great to have you back.  Glad Tiger has settled so well.  All those weeks with sunshine, I am so jealous!

HHH  thanks for the tip on helpful HV  wasn't really sure what to expect.  Hope ours is as helpful. 

Sundog- great news on your match, will keep fingers crossed.  

Tracey  hope you don't have too long to wait for your court date.

OT  our SW have never asked us about our savings (income and outgoings stated on form F) or child minding within family.  Seems a bit bizarre to focus on this area.  It's a question to ask panel why are you only considering people with savings for adoption?   

MJ  panels not far now and yes you will be absolutely fine.  We were told just to wear something smart and comfortable by the HOD and I wore black trousers & cardigan and an orange top (wanted them to know I have a bit of colour in me!).

Jennifer  hanging on in there for he moment, thanks for thinking of me. 

AngeK  ooh so exciting that CC is home with you.  Hope this week goes will with DH back at work.  

JD  what a wonderful post, I was emotional reading it and so glad that Sunshine is so settled in a lovely happy home. 

Cindy  I have watched who rules the roost where one of the couples stays at home for two weeks while the other continues to work (they then swap).  It always surprises me that the men never realise what a full time job looking after children AND the house can be.  They almost always end up thinking they should do more when they come home from work. 

My old puss cat is not so good at the moment and spending lots of time with him so haven't been on computer as often to catch up with your news.  He's improved a little so hope I can keep more of an eye on the adoption news.

Love to everyone.
Misty C
xxxxx


----------



## suffolklady77

hiya thanks for all the comments its made me worry a  little less I am working hard to get back to how I was before clomid and ttc piled it on so hopefully that will be ok 
had a odd moment yesterday I work at a support group for special needs kids and one of the ladys attending yesterday was a foster carer we were just chit chatting and she asked did i have kids with dh i said no she said have you considered adoption i said yes we are looking at it for next year and she said aww you dont want L***** do you ! I wasnt sure what to say lol I just had to say that L***** was a only child and we were hoping for a sibling group hehe   as i see too foster parents as part of work I this is the first of many such conversations lol
-Gayle x


----------



## suffolklady77

hehe you will get used to me everythings a doofrey or a thingamy bob lmao luckily dh knows what i mean most of the time 
-Gayle xx


----------



## jan welshy

HIya all,
SW has emailed us and will bring Form F with her on Thursday but wants to see our birth certs and passports etc that were seen and photocopied May 2006 as original sw and council seems not to have included all these ID verifications in stuff they gave her i.e. LOST! Oh well, if that is all that is a slight prob then hopfefully all will be ready for panel by end of thursday. Sorry this is me me me but started school monday and kids in tomorrow so work work work .
Love
WelshyX


----------



## Viva

Hi everyone,
Well we go to matching panel next Monday, and all being well should start intro's on 20th, I am planning to go on annual leave for a week or so first so am leaving work at the end of this week...and it's really been non stop, (hence the lack of personnels). The little blip we had regarding queries over the BM's ethnicity seem to have been covered well in the matching panel paperwork and we've addded our little bits as well, we are really chuffed with how well it has come together and feel very hopeful that panel will go smoothly, although that's not to say that I won't be looking forward to getting it over and done with! 

We've been running around making an adult house friendly for a 4 year old and 15mth old and have been creating space for them to play (we have a big Ikea trip planned for storage solutions this weekend!) we've painted bedrooms, but am yet to do any real shopping! Have also got our little man a place a the pre-school and school (as he will be a rising 5 this year) of our choice, bot I had not realised how complicated that was....and am now thinking I need to take Magenta's advice and next week sort out Dr's etc...there is so much to do...no that I am complaining! We have also done huge amounts of clearing out of cupboards (thank goodness for freecycle!) and have had our donwstairs floors sanded (the people we bought the house off of put them down but they had never been sealed properly!!!) so we house was in complete choas for a week and I'd never seen so much dust..it went everywhere, but then again at least I know the place is properly clean before my little people arrive! 

I'm also full on finishing up things at work, I work in a large hospital and presently manage a small ward, I'm on a day off today but going out tonight with my team so they can give me a bit of a send off, it's strange as for 2 years I've been doing this job just to keep me occupied whilst we wait for our family and I'd really underestimated how much I will miss my lovely team (and for that matter how sad they seem to be to see me go) I had not anticipated the emotional goodbyes. It's also strange as I've worked within the hospital for 6 years and know loads of people here so I'm slow getting things done as I have to keep telling people I'm going...has anyone else found it strange that people seem to think that adopting is a really 'admirable' thing to do...my colleagues keep telling me this which I find quite embarrasing because I'm going to get so fun enjoyment out of being a Mummy, we didn't adopt just to be nice!!! 

Off to clean the fridge (which hasn't been done for so long it's embarrassing and then to tesco to fill it as we have nothing in!) then we have our family books to finish! Cindy as you can see I'm taking your advice to rest and relax to heart   roll on next week as I really am planning to stop then!!!

It's been good to catch up on everyone's news sorry not to be able to post and personels, hopefully next week when I'm off!

Love
Viva
XXX


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## jan welshy

VIVA,
Congratulations, we are so pleased for you. Enjoy the busy life and enjoy your new family.
Love
Welshy and DH XXXXXXXXXX


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## superal

Wow busy on here again, nice to read everyones news................still keep looking out for Laine & Jennifer's news........it will happen!!

No news here apart from DD will be 7 tomorrow!!  Where has the time gone, she is no longer that babe in arms who we met when she was 9 months old,  I remember seeing these long legs and huge feet sticking out from her pram, she was asleep when we arrived at the FM house and when she woke up her SW got her out of the pram and said come on to your new Mummy, she was only small but long if that makes sense! Funny how certain memories stick in your mind. When the SW said what he said it melted my heart and i fell in love with in an instant!! 

DD has gone into school today looking so grown up and told her new teacher its the last day of her being 6 & tomorrow she will be a big girl of 7, she seems so big now compared to all her class mates as she is the tallest girl, it's those long legs and big feet!!

Hope everyone is OK!

Viva - congratulations on your match & Ange sounds as though you are having a wonderful time.

Love
Andrea
xx


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## bluebells

Hi Everyone,

It's been an age since I've had time to catch up on here, (about 12 pages worth!), but I've only had time read about a weeks worth of posts today.

Our news is that a SW is coming to see us on 11/09, to run through Form F. (We were given F1 at the prep group does the '1' mean it is only the 1st part? I've heard Form F is huge, so I'm assuming this is the case.) We met  the SW at the prep course and they seems really nice, so fingers crossed will go ok.  I'm a bit nervous about the one-to-one interview, sooo worried about saying all the wrong things and messing it up for us!

I turned 40 last week. Actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and had a lovely meal and drinks with loads of friends.  Plus their all really supportive and excited about us adopting 

Right, here goes with the personals. Sorry if I've missed anyone!

Andrea - it's lovely that you still have those memories about the day you first met your DD.

Viva - great news about your 2 little ones. 

Welshy - Hope everything gets sorted on Thursday with SW

Gayle - Good luck with adopting a sibling group - that is what we are hoping to do too 

Misty C - Hope your cat is ok now

MJ - Loads of luck for panel on Tuesday. 

Cindy - You could get your DH some ear defenders to block out the noise of your 1 & 3 year old. Only joking 

Jill Dill - Your daughter's 2nd birthday party sounded lovely  you almost brought me to tears too!

Ange - Glad cupcake is settling in well. So nice to read news like yours.

Tracey H - Hope you get your court date soon!

Sundog - Fingers crossed for 10th September 

HHH - That's great advice about contacting local Health Visitor. Will make a note to do that and like you say, good for Form F 

Casey - Glad to hear that Tiger is settling in well.

Magenta - Hope you get your court date really soon!

Hi to everyone else.

lost of love from Bluebells xx


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## askingangels

Hello Everyone

Well just got back from holiday. My brother got married in Rhodes. It was really emotional. They have been together for 15 years I thought it might be a bit of a formality but it was one of the nicest weddings I have been to.

Sorry I havent had chance to catch up. Will try and do better later.

Well SW strikes again. We are not going to panel on Tuesday now. SW gave holidays as an excuse. Anyway now set for 9th October but not holding my breath.

While I was talking to her though she said she has a potential match for us. 1 boy 3.5 yrs and girl 2. We are the only ones being considered for them. I have to talk to DH but I am pretty hooked already. I do want more info though. Has anyone adopted their children at similar ages? The boy has displayed slight autistic behaviour and has been assessed. He has been assessed as not being autistic. Just likes some things a certain way. This is the only thing that is slightly scary for me.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated

Lots of love to everyone at all your stages.

Sx


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## keemjay

hi guys
i am reading and keeping up, just not really feeling i have anything to contribute just now. 
we had a session of counselling last week but i didnt like the counsellor, plus she could only see us monthly which wasnt any good, so we have found a new one who we really like and are seeing her weekly from now on. we are back on talking terms with SS and have had a meeting with our SW.
no news on the job yet, i dont feel particularly hopeful but we'll see...
love to all

kj x


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## Mummyof2

Andrea - happy birthday to dd.  My son is now 6.5 years old.  As you say the time goes by in a flash.

Askingangels - we had our honeymoon in Rhodes.  Sounds like your brother had a lovely wedding.

Bluebells - happy belated 40th.  It was my birthday in August and dh's.

Viva - good luck for Monday's matching panel.

No news here as usual.


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## Old Timer

Hi Ladies
Hope everyone is OK.  We are off on holiday tomorrow for a week so I won't be around.

MJ, will be thinking of you on Tuesday, sure you'll pass with flying colours!

Viva, good luck for Monday.

Askingangels, sorry about panel, its so frustrating when they do this.  interesting re the children though.

We had our form f emailed through yesterday, have made the changes and returned it so now its just a case of waiting for panel.

Its our 11th wedding anniversary today and my birthday on Monday, we will celebrate both while we are away.

Love
OT x


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## nic68

Hi All,

Just got back from our hols, went to cyprus and had a really good relaxing week. it was just what we needed after everything we've been through. Got word back from sw to say that we've been accepted onto the prep training course end sept, so looking forward to it.

Just found out my sister is pregnant with her second child, she was very apprehensive on telling us incase it upset us, but i think she felt alot better when we told her that was lovely news. 

Best wishes to all of you at every stage that your at, and i will keep you updated with how things go with us.

Nicola xx


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## superal

Hi Nicola

Just wanted to say well done to you on getting onto the prep course but more importantly taking the news about your sister expecting her second child so well................it's not easy when you hear of people falling pregnant but you have shown by saying congratulations that you are looking forward to your new adventure and this will prove an important part to your SW, showing you have moved on and your looking forward to your family so well done you!!

Love
Andrea
XX


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## jan welshy

Hiya all, lots going on,

Askingangels, good luck with panel you will be fine.

SW here on thursday and assures us we will going to panel on October 2nd, we now have FormF etc back for reading so at last the tunnel has some very very bright light shining towrds us.

Nicola the prep course is great as you meet people in the same boat as yourself and we are still in touch with some going through with us now, so it an extra support group.

Hope you are all well, I am back at work now so even less time to come on here and catch up, I have tried to get on chat for the chat nights but I can't get on at all, Tony is trying to figure it out for me.

Have a great weekend

Love
WelshyXXXXXXXX


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## Barbarella

Hi Everyone

Sorry long time no post.. thought I'd pop on and catch up with everyone's news.  I'm so out of date, so forgive the lack of individual personals... just wanted to say good luck to MJ and Viva for your panels.  Fab news!!!  

Ange, how lovely it sounds with Cupcake...  I remember it so well - you do get your house back, lol, well during the evenings anyway.  We've managed to keep it relatively tidy without being too anal about it.  Toys everywhere during the day, but at night back to adult time..  

Well Bea is now nearly 18 months old, and she's growing up so fast - not a baby any more, definitely a little girl.  She's still her usual adorable self, but over the last week has started to, shall we say, exert her independence.  All expected but still sometimes difficult to deal with.  Not that we're complaining obviously, but it's just harder work than it has been.  

She's so bright and affectionate, she is constantly running over to us - whatever we are doing, wherever we are - and planting kisses on us.  She likes lots of hugs and is babbling away in her baby talk, singing the theme tunes to her favourite programmes, Fifi and Peppa Pig etc.  She can say about 25 words now, but rarely says them when we're in public.. lol.  Typical.  Her favourite word that she says ALL the time is Mummy... we'll be out, and my Mum or dh will walk away from me and I'll hear "Mummeeeeeeee".. LOL. SO lovely. 

I can't believe we're coming up to the year anniversary that we were told we had been matched to a 6 month old baby girl.  It's unbelievable really.. what a year!!

Anyway as I said, off on our hols on Tuesday.. and when I get back I hope to see some good news and a few more matches. 

Thanks for the mention Jilldill... thinking of you at this time, just about to PM you.  Sunshine's birthday sounded wonderful, and you made me cry saying you played "isn't she lovely". 

Superal...  happy birthday to your DD as well, and what nasty people on your camping trip.  .  Hope you got my last email, no hurry to respond, just hope you got it. 

HHH... about to PM you too.  

Take care everyone...

C xx


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## BunBun

So sorry that I haven't been posting and haven't had a chance to catch up with what's been going. 
I've had my hands full with the little man (not that I'm complaining ) but at the moment he wants/needs my attention all the time. So when he sleeps during the day it's my only chance to get housework done or meals cooked.
I'll catch up with you all soon.


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## sundog

Sorry in advance for the me post. I will try to catch up with all the news soon, but the last couple of days have really been (cliche alert) an emotional rollercoaster.

Yesterday was the day when we were supposed to find out if we had been chosed for a 4 month old little boy. I called our SW at about 3:30 (having held out as long as I could muster) and she told me the decision had not yet been made, and worse, our file had not yet been read (although the other couple's had...). I have to admit I was a bit upset as I had been so anxious to hear and thought I would finally be put out of my misery! Any way she said she would call me today with an update.

Well guess what, she did, and we have been chosen!!! Wow!     

Funnily enough, now the not knowing is over I feel very calm about it in many ways and am not sure whether that is cos it just feels right, or whether it hasn't really sunk in yet. Either way, it is a lovely feeling.

We are meeting his SW and the homefinder on Monday so watch this space!

Lots of love

sundog
xxxxx


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## fiona1

Hi All,

Sundog - Huge congratulations, when do you get to meet your little man?

Bunbun + Barbarella - Lovely to hear how you are getting on with your little ones.


MJ + Viva - Congratulations on panel.

I have news, but am too scared to share it as I am convinced it will jinx it, I will post more next week.

Andrea - Thanks for your PM, I will reply later.

I went on a training course today on Attachment, I am sorry I cannot remember who on here has adopted older 6 + 7 year old boy and girl, I remember you posting that you were having a tough time. This course was fantastic and I reccommend it to anyone who is going to adopt. It talked about attachemtn and how you can help a child bond, also signs to look out for in children who have attachment issues. The trainer sais that sometimes even teenagers need to be allowed to regress back to babies in order to learn how to love and become attachen to their carer.

There were a few people who foster children with challenging behaviour who said that the signs of poor attachment discribed their child prefectly. I just think when your having a tough day to have some ideas to put into place may help.

I also met 3 lovely ladies ( you know who you are!!!!!!!) who sneek a look on these boards but don't post. It was lovely to meet the 3 of you. Hopefully we can meet up soon.

Hi to everyone else.

Fiona


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## Viva

Hi, 
Just wanted to say Congrats to Sundog about your match...I know what you mean it is such an emotional rollercoaster! I have a 5 month old nephew (which I guess is about the age your littlie will be when you meet him) and it is such a delightful age. 
Fiona, am really hoping that you will have exciting news to share soon.
Hello to everyone else, I will try and catch up properly and do personnels soon!
Love
Viva
XXX


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## Mummyof2

Sundog - wonderful news.                 

Fiona - oooh, sounding very hopeful.


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## superal

Congratulations Sundog!  What lovely age you must be so excited!!!!


Fiona.............Hope this is the news you have been waiting for, look forward to getting your message.........I'm waiting patiently for your PM! 

Jennifer - hope your OK, it must be hard seeing people matched so soon for some after being approved BUT I know you are happy for them and you know your turn will come & the right child will be here for you, I just wish it was soon!!!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Misty C

Hi everyone, 

Congratulations again to MJ and Viva!

Jan – hope all the information is now collated and you can move forward.  How frustrating going over things you have already done!!!

Viva – have you come down to earth yet?  Better still is the fridge cleaned?  

Andrea – hope DD is enjoying school, kids seem to grow up fast or maybe it time going by more quickly as we get older – for me I have to say it must be both as my ‘little’ nephews now tower above me and have girlfriends and cars!!!  

Bluebells – happy belated 40th!  Hope you are still enjoying the celebrating.  My wee cat has improved a little, but he is weaker due to his age so wee need to build him up again.  

Askingangels - the wedding sounded like heaven, glad you have a wonderful time. Exciting news about the match – got my fingers crossed.

Keemjay – hang on in there, it great to hear the counselling is helping.

JenniferF – sending you & DH belated birthday wishes just in case I hadn’t before!

OT – hope you had a lovely anniversary and birthday, bet your relaxing and enjoying your hols as I type. 

Nicola – lovely to hear your sister’s good news.

Barbarella – good to see you post, can’t believe Bea has been with you a year either!  

Bunbun – looking forward to hearing all your DS’s stories.

Sundog – fantastic news, congratulations!  Any word on dates yet?

Fiona – the course sounds really interesting.  Our SW asked us to look into attachment while we wait but we haven’t so need to get myself organised.  

SW and HOD visiting on Thursday for an update or maybe it’s a welfare visit not sure which.  Our lovely SW is going on to sessional work and the plan is HOD will take over our case if it’s possible, so we will find out more tomorrow. 

Love to everyone!
Misty C
xxx


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## sundog

Thanks to all for your lovely wishes. 

Fiona, I know what you mean about jinxing it. I must admit I hesitated, so hope I have not been hasty sharing our news, but it's so hard keeping it in! Hope we hear something lovely from you very soon.

Superal, a good and important point that you made. I do know how hard it can be to read other people's good news and just thinking 'why not me'. That was the story of my life while on the treatment trail. It often amazes me how selfless and enthusisastic everyone is on here for each other. What a shame life in general can't ll be like that. 

Jennifer, with this in mind I really appreciate your congratulations and truely hope your time will come very soon. We have been very lucky in that our LA has had a bit of a famine on prospective parents (due to lack of resources) which is now just starting to clear. We were lucky to be one of the first couples approved for a while. Also, it is an area which is renowned for having no shortage of babies taken into care. Sad but true. 

Anyone else in a similar situation, all the luck in the world. It WILL happen for you. 

I am taking nothing for granted. No news on dates yet but I'll keep you posted.

sundog
x


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## bluebells

Great news Sundog  Bet you're bouncing!

Hi to everyone else, hope you are all ok. Sorry no time for personals at work.

We had 1st meeting for Home Study yesterday with our SW. It was nice to have met her already on the prep course.

We had quite a giggle and DH told her a couple of funny stories about his childhood. He has is one-to-one interview in October and mine is after his. I chickened out of going first 

Plenty of homework for Form F to do, but I'm quite looking forward to it - not like at school.

love from Bluebells xx


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## Mummyof2

Thanks Sundog and Andrea for thinking of me.  I do get a pang as I'm only human but I am genuinely happy for everyone as well.  After all I am already a mum with my lovely son so a second child is just the icing on the cake for me - just so frustrating that it has been almost 3 years of waiting now since we began.  Oh well. 

Misty - thanks for the belated birthday wishes.


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## superal

Hi Sundog.............I hope my message did not put a damper on things for you, that is not what I meant.

I just know how hard hard it is for Jennifer & Laine BUT these 2 people are wonderful people and would not begrudge any one being matched with their prospective children before them I just meant I knew how hard it must be for her BUT at the same time you must feel so happy with the news you have received and YES you do want to shout it from the rooftops.  Why shouldn't you! 

I am really sorry if I upset you in anyway over the comment I was making it was not intended like that.

After all everyone has been through on here we are happy for those who get matched and hopefully can make the waiting a little more pleasant for the others still waiting and finding the time hard.

I am very happy for you and your DH and I apologise again if it came across that I said something I shouldn't!  

I am very lucky as I did not wait to long for my 2 children but I did wait 13 months for the baby we were placed with on concurrency......that's a different story!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## TraceyH

Hi All

Sundog - Congratulations.  Looking forward to hearing your updates.

Fiona - Please share your news with us soon.

Viva - Not long now until the 20th.  Take some time for yourself because it is very exhausting and emotional but well worth it.

Best wishes to everyone else.

Tracey x


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## sundog

Superal, not upset in the slightest. Absolutely no need to apologise hun.   I completely understood what you were saying and was glad you said it. It's a shame we can't see the expressions on each others faces or hear the tones of their voices - it's not always easy to tell how someone means something in writing. Please don't feel bad - you have no reason at all. Your messages are always poignant, kind and well thought out.

(hug)

sundog
x


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## Laine

Hi everyone,

Sundog - congratulations on your news....wonderful!

Fiona - looking forward to hearing your news soon.

Kj - glad the counselling is helping you.

Barberella, Ange, Jilldill & Bunbun - great to hear your news.

Askingangels - sorry to hear about your panel date moving.

Jan - not long to go now...

Tracey H & Magenta - hope you hear about a court date soon.

Nicola - good news about the prep course.

Bluebells - good luck with HS.

Andrea - thanks for thinking of me   and for your kind words.

Jennifer - thinking of you ... hoping you hear that special news very soon.

Hi to everyone else.

No news from me.

Laine x


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## superal

sundog..........    


Have sent you a PM!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Misty C

Hi everyone

Had a great meeting with SW'rs last night and was pleased to see our profile had attracted some attention.  The two littlies I mentioned a while ago have popped up again and we need a few more questions answered  .  They also mentioned a little girl who has come up for adoption, they will give us more info next week as we said we were also interested.  They did say that she would attract a huge amount of attention herself  .    

SW have gone to great lengths to reassure us that as our own SW has changed her work pattern we shouldn't worry as work is still going on in the background and they won't forget us.  

Laine - Hope you get some news very soon.  How often do you get to see your SW?  

Love to everyone. 
Misty C
xxxx


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## superal

Morning everyone!

Misty that sounds like promising news regarding possible links, let's hope something positive comes your way!

I applied for a new job yesterday, a more permanent one & didn't even get past the first hurdle and I feel gutted!!   The job was in a pre-school and the hours were great apart form one problem and that was they wanted cover for a Tuesday morning and that's the day I go to collague and she said they couldn't be flexible about the hours and wished me luck, she was very nice but I just feel disappointed, how silly am I!!

I go to collague on a Tuesday to do my Diploma in Pre-School Practice and finish it in February so will just have to keep looking, as i said to the lady on the phone I have nothing to loose but every thing to gain by enquiring.

Sorry this is a bit of a me post but no one apart from the dog is at home and I needed a moan!!!  

Love
Andrea
x


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## bluebells

Hi Andrea

There's nothing wrong with a 'me post'. That's what everyone's here for isn't it, so we can have a bit of a rant every now and then 

Good luck with your job search, I'm sure you'll find something soon.

Misty, good luck. Hope you have some good news to share soon.

I have just started doing my family tree for Form F. Good fun so far. Glad I have a computer tho, if I was doing it on paper there would be mistakes everywhere, they're quite hard to draw aren't they? Any hints?

Have good weekends everyone

Bluebells xx


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## Charliegirl

Hi Bluebells,

A hint I received AFTER I had spent AGES and AGES (being the perfectionist I am!  ) doing my family tree  , is that genesreunited.co.uk have a program where you just type the names in and what relation they are to you and it creates it for you and you can print it off!!!

As you can imagine, I was rather annoyed, to say the least!  

Love,

Charlie. x


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## bluebells

Thanks for the hint Charlie that sounds fab!! 

I'm a perfectionist too, so this will save a lot of time. 

Bluebells xx


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## Misty C

I feel left out - we didn't have to do a family tree!  

I'm too excited here to concentrate on ironing or anything so keep moving from one thing to another and not doing much of anything.  

Andrea - 'if its for you it won't go by you' is a saying my friends often come out with when I feel I missed out on something.  A much better job is out there for you.  Good luck with your studies.

Love
Misty C
xxxx


----------



## fiona1

Charile - I used genes reunited for mine, it was really good.

Andrea - Sorry to hear about the job, I haven't fogotten you and will e-mail you later  

I am going to remove Elliots photo and some of my signature later today. I will keep the user name but just need to become a bit more "unknown" if you know what I mean.

We may have a placement next week, I will post more when I have news. I don't know if anyone of you are on ********, but I am coming off that too.

Speak soon

Fiona


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## Misty C

Sorry to see Elliot's picture leave us - he's a wee cutie - but totally understand.  Everything crossed for you Fiona xxxxxx


----------



## superal

Fiona - got your e-mail, thanks!!  Have to agree with Misty that we will miss seeing Elliot's lovely face but you have to protect yourself and your family, good luck with next week, let us know more when you can!! 

Bluebells good luck doing the family tree, we were really lucky and our SW drew ours!!! 

Love
Andrea
xx


----------



## BunBun

Fiona - good luck for next week.
Bluebells - how's the family tree going? Ours was huge, if slightly lopsided (I come from a large family background and my dh only had a handful of relatives on his side) 
Misty - hope you'll have some news to share with us soon.
Superal - sorry the interview didn't go too well. All the best for finding something suitable soon.


----------



## ritzi

at family trees - we have just had to do ours.....so complicated as i'm one of 5   and dh has been asked to do one for both birth family (he's one of 6) and adoptive family (he's one of 2)   we have used www.genopro.com to do ours which at least made it a little easier   free trial for 14 days  

my 2nd home visit is next week - cannot believe how quick this has been....we start prep course then in oct/nov. my kitchen is even worse now as the walls are down and the kitchen ripped out   hopefully our new kitchen will be here in a month and all the prep work done  

so glad to see the good news on this thread lately - but sad that for some finding their children is proving timely.....hugs to you all whatever point you are at 

ritz. 

/links


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## saphy75

time for a new home this way guys  -------------> http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=111094.0


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