# Spaced out and withdrawn on Clomid



## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

This is my first post so i hope I get this right. 

I have just started taking clomid. 100mg CD 2-6. I was realy nervous before I started the course of treatment after reading all the side effects. I haven't actually experienced any of these see effects yet, currently CD8, however I feel sort if spaced out. I feel like my body is present but my mind is somewhere else, its sort of an out of body experience. I don't feel like doing anything and definately not in the mood for socialising. I am wondering if this is a normal feeling when taking this medication. Is it the medication or the fact that my mind is filled with thoughts about what's going on inside me.

Anyone else experienced similar?

Merewyn. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi Merewyn

I'm a couple of days behind you and am CD 5 and am on my first proper course of clomid too. I'm only on 50 mg though - is any one else as everyone seems to get 100? 

Are you on clomid because of PCOS? I haven't really had any side effects certainly nothing as horrific as I was expecting. I am generally feeling a bit grotty and flushed but then I have been poorly and in hospital for past couple of weeks so easily could be that.

xx


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## sh13 (Aug 29, 2010)

Merewyn. X
i took clomid 100g day 2-6. well, didn't feel like doing anything, was very tense , couldn't sleep and wanted to pick up a fight for no reason with anyone.
i had spoken to my gp abt it...she said those were the side effects ...it happens so not to worry abt it too much


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Thank you for reassuring me that's its normal to feel like this. 

Although I think I'm acting normal my friends know there's something up, I didn't want to tell anyone that i had started on the clomid, to much pressure to get pregnant. My dh is very supportive but I think I'm even being off with him and very emotional and needy.got a scan on Wednesday to see if I have a follicle so fingers crossed for that.

Yes prescribed clomid as have pcos and not ovulating. I was surprised that she prescribed 100 mg straight away as read that you normally only start on 50mg. 

I was expecting all the worst side effects as well, nobody really says they don't experience any. 

Shelbel sorry to hear you were in hospital, hope your all better now. 

Let me know how you get on with this cycle of clomid and I will have everything crossed it works for you too.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Your Doc sounds pretty on the ball - 100mg and a scan. Mine said he doesn't think scans are necessary and relys on bloods but it would be nice to know and actually see something. Your post got me thinking and actually I think it is effecting me a bit but not in a obvious way, was my first day back at work today after 5 weeks off and normally I'm like a bull in a china shop but I just don't want to deal with or be near people at the moment. Also got a bit tearful at lunch as I seem to have taken leave of my senses and ordered one of those conception and pregnancy prediction readings off ebay and that came through on my email, was all very positive but then I got mad at myself for getting my hopes up from something like that. I am such a control freak and this whole fertility thing with it being out of my control and hands gets me sooo frustrated!

How long have you been TTC?
xx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Hello Shelbel and Merewyn, 

Hope you dont mind me stopping by,  I'm just about to start my second round of Chlomid prior to our third IUI attempt, I found the Chlomid left me quite spaced out too, my DH was very good about it and responded to my snappy nature and clingyness with lots of understanding and TLC, not that the medicated monster in me appreciated it at the time   heee hee. I'm not sure if its honestly the medication itself or the emotions relating to treatment itself that are really the cause but either way just allow plenty of TLC, and pushing myself to meet up with a friend for a cuppa and laugh actually helped no end, or a good dvd at home under the duvet for those particuarly solitary days!  

Shelbell, I completely understand the control freak issues, Ive found planning/doing little side projects helped, even just clearing the filing system at work helped me expell some of the nervous energy!

Merewyn, Good luck on Wednesday with the scan hope those little folicles do there thing for you! 

Bubble


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I was thinking the same that maybe the spaced out feeling were due to the treatment more than a side effect of the medication but what ever it is caused by its reassuring that we are not going through this alone. 

My consultant does do the scans but she hasn't mentioned blood tests which I would have liked. Guess its just what the individual doctor thinks is most important. 

I haven't ordered a predictor kit yet but was planning on it if no success this month. I have also looked at preseed and instead cups, so don't be mad at yourself, we all do it.

I am also a bit of control freak and complete understand how you feel about not being able to control something.

We have been ttc since may 2010 however I never had a period for 5 months after coming off the pill so technical only since October 2010. My periods are so irregular that I pushed for blood tests early. I was diagnosed hypothyroid in Feb 2011 but the medication never solved my periods, I was sent for a scan of my ovaries in may and due to pcos referred to a fertility consultant at the hospital in June. I guess in the scheme of things we haven't been trying so long but its long enough to hurt. Plenty of day 1 and 21 blood test this year showed I wasn't ovulating and I knew that my body wasn't working properly. I guess I always have. When i was a teenager I would only get 4 periods a year but went on the pill at 16 which masked my issues. 

Hoping for positive results for everyone this month. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Bubbles - I quite agree, think it's more noticeable now I've not got our wedding to he planning think I need new project - Christmas ! Lol

Merewyn - I think a lot of my problems were masked by the pill for many years. I'm just thankful I knew of my problems before ttc so at least I got to get help straight away without that agonising wait of nothing happening and not knowing why 

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Had my first follicle tracking scan. She said it looks like I have a follicle growing nicely. Repeat the scan tomorrow and Friday to see if i ovulate. But she seemed optimistic. Fingers crossed.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Sounds positive - finger crossed for you! Wish I could have a scan really intreguied to see what all these things look like! lol xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Lol, I still didn't recognise anything. She said that's my womb and it just looked like a grey blur and not womb shaped, then she said this is your left ovary, looked the same grey blur as the womb. Then the right ovary she said this black bit is a follicle, buts till no idea where the ovary was. 

Today she is doing an internal scan which she said is clearer so fingers crossed it actually looks like something. Will let you know how it goes. 

Did you have a hystosalpingogram where the inject die into you to see if your tubes are blocked. My womb looked tiny on that although they said it was fine. That was much more what I expected this to look like.

Maybe next time you see your consultant you could ask for these follicle tracking scans. Although going back every day till I ovulate did not impress my work.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yep, I might ask if I can next time. I think it helps me to understand and accept things if I can see them! Always wanted to see pictures from my laporoscopies but unfortunately never did get to.

I've not had the Hysto thingy but they did do a dye test last year during my laporoscopy which showed my tubes were patent because of the damage to them that I'm still high risk of etopic pregnancy.

Do your work know your ttc? I guess I'm lucky that as a HR MAnager I don't think they would dare to try and be funny with me about things! lol

Let me know how it goes xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I work as cabin crew and the crew welfare officer knows what I'm doing. She's semi supportive but don't think she really understands, does say the wrong thing at times and getting funny that I needed scans for 3 days running. I didn't say I may need to go Monday too. I am on standby so could get called into do a flight, so she has moved my days off to accommodate these appointments. The nature of my job means I can't just leave the office for an hour, I can't work if I have an appointment. I'm not the first girl at work to need fertility treatment but they only have policies in place for ivf, she has told me all about that but I keep saying I hope it won't get to that. 

Today's scan was good. We could see the womb lining, so she,ll check that's getting thicker to morrow. There's a couple of small follicles on each ovary but 1 big one on the right, yesterday this measured 18mm by 16mm, today was 21mm x 18mm. She was pleased with how this is growing and said the should mean I have an egg maturing. I have another scan tomorrow but need to start the bms. 

I agree though its good to see these images and learn what's happening.  Hope your consultant lets you have these done if things don't happen for you in the mean time.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

How did you get on today? Gosh it must be really difficult with your job, I'm lucky that I can disappear relatively easily for an hour or 2. Really starting to wonder if I should tell anyone at work at the moment. Wasn't planning on unless got to the IVF stage but as the days go on since starting the clomid I do seem to be feeling more and more emotional and like I'm just not with it. xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey, I have had a pretty tough day. Scan was OK, follicle still there so back again Monday. The lady doing the scan today was different and wasn't very good. First she asked me for my notes like they do all the pregnant ladies, I don't have them, they keep them at the hospital and was put out when i said that. Then she was about to put the lubricant on the TV scanner. I said no... the lady yesterday told me that it wasn't friendly to the sperm and that they want to keep an optimum envioronment for me to conceive. She said she had never heard that and how was she going to insert it. I said they had no problems yesterday. She was quite rough and really didn't seem like she had a clue about why I was there, even asking if the child in the waiting room was mine.

Well before all that I found out last night my best friend was pregnant and had only been trying a few months. Happy for her but very jealous. Then today everyone in the pub at lunch was pregnant or had tiny babies. Dh said I shouldn't be jealous but its not that easy. After the scan I did cry a little and said that it hurts that its not easy for us when everyone else seems to be getting PG no problems, which I know isn't true, who's to say they haven't struggled.

So yeah I have had a rough day but I know I'm lucky we are getting help and that I'm not alone as this website proves.

I was keeping it a secret but struggle with the when are you having babies questions all the time. I have told alot of girls at work and the crew welfare officer obviously as she can adjust my roster. Telling people isn't always that bad, but I do tell my friends not to ask too much as I don't need the pressure then if I want to talk its on my terms.


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Shelbel, how are you getting on with the clomid? Have you had any other symptoms or just being emotional and not with it.  That's pretty much all I have had with today being the worst emotionally. I'm on cd14. Where are you?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Sorry to hear youve had a bad day today. I hate the way they put the fertility/ gynea stuff in/near the mat block - bloody inconsiderate cause everyone assumes your pg. When I was admitted to hospital the other week cause I was going to mat block the ambulance peeps assumed I was and started joking with me when I was on the gas and air that I'll really be needing it soon etc! Don't know who felt more akward when I told them! 

As for the clomid I'm cd 9 and  I'm feeling incredibly emotional at the moment too - DH is currently getting the cold shoulder and he doesn't know why! It was actually because I put a baby programme on last and he said 'come on lets watch something else, I really want a baby too but lets not let it take over our life!' coupled with his earlier comment when I said hopefully I should be ov'ing over the weekend/early next week of 'lets not get regimented about having sex' Both Perfectly reasonable things to say really and a sensible approach to TTC but thats very easy to say when its not you who the problem lies with or who is having to take hormones or whatever god damn awful treatment may lie ahead. I know I'm being a stroppy cow but can't help it! Lol other than that just very tired .

Hope you have a good and successful weekend


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Gosh, that must have been really frustrating when the paramedics said that but how do they know any different. Its hard biting your tounge all the time. I have thought before that the fertility stuff should be seperate from the maternity. The ultrasound is in the same place, so i have seen lot of happy couples receiving their scan pics and gushing with excitement over the past 3 days... how I longed for that to be me. The have a seperate waiting room for early pregnancy scans could have done with being seperate too. 

I agree with you too that is easy for the dh when they have good swimmers, they can stay relaxed. I had the same conversation with my dh when i was being jealous and he said it will happen. Its not easy to feel that when its your body that's not functioning.

Have a good weekend and lots of bms.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Oh god that must have been awful for you seeing them all getting there baby scans! 

Being trying to be a bit more cheerful this weekend as me being a miserable cow doesn't exactly create a romantic environment. Think have managed altho did get a bit upset when we went to buy new car earlier as we brought a more family friendly car(that wasn't our primary reason for changing car but thought best be sensible in case) but I truly don't know whether we will ever get a family to put in it! 

Hope you've had a good weekend xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah bless, I'm sure you'll get the family for your car soon. X 

Just been for my final scan, no folicles so i have ovulated over the weekend. I thought I had Saturday. Don't know if we had bms on the right days or enough, I through a massive strop last night when he said he was too tired. I thought he just didn't care enough, I just hope that we got lucky.

Apart from the car did you have a good weekend? Any idea if you have ovulated yet?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

I really hope we do, if not tho at least I'll be more comfy on my long drives for work. Weekend wasn't too bad thanks managed to get all our wedding thank yous done, did end up over doing the wine tho which isn't best idea when meant to be being good, lol. I think something is definately happening , sorry if tmi but definatly a change in cm yesterday to the egg white stuffbut im only cd12 so dont know if too early or if cm does change a few days before ov.

Did you have a good weekend?

That sounds promising, I'll keep everything crossed for you. I think they say before ovulation is better than after so hopefully missing last night shouldn't be problem for you. Are they able to tell from a scan how many eggs are in the follicle and how big they are.

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

No you can't see the eggs. I only had 1 large folicle so that is most likely only 1 egg. The sonographer said that the other day, if I had more than 1 large folicle then could have had more than 1 egg mature, but not this time. I think its the first time i have ever ovulated.

Ah the cm is a good sign, I had it  Saturday too. I also had a sort of gentle stich type twinge. Fingers crossed your ovulating. Have some bms tonight.... 

Apart from dh being tired Sunday night and my sulking the rest of the weekend we did lots of fun things with our friends. They don't know what we are doing and it was good to let our hair down and have some fun.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Im confused cm has changed dramatically since yesterday when checked. surely I couldn't have ov'd and been done and dusted by yesterday which was only cd 11? Hope not as only really got down to it yesterday! Lol. Dont think we will be tonight either cause just had another disagreement about the supposed regimented sex so I'm crying like a bloody girl and he's downstairs in a strop. It's ironic really that all this infertility malarky leaves you in a situation where the thing you need to do most is thing you fancy least cause hormones make you fall out! Lol

Glad to here you had a fun weekend, nice to let your hair down. Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh no, that's rubbish that out have fallen out about sex, does sound like us yesterday. I think its that we do lots of research and they don't get the importance of the timing. My dh said today, well how often do you ovulate.... I said once a cycle so we have had our chance this month.

I hope you two make make it up  tonight don't like to think your sad. Sending you a hug.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks Hun. Unfortunately we didn't make up last night but had a quick chat this morning but think need a good talk this evening. Think he is too laid back and thinks why can't we just not be careful like everyone else, but need to try and get him to see that we aren't like everyone else and when that's my fault we aren't how does he think it makes me feel when he gets funny about us having to take a more structured approach to baby making. Like your dh I don't think he truely understands the timings of it all. I have tried to make it all as low key as possible - I'm not doing opks or temperature monitoring or anything like that I'm literally just counting days myself and keeping an eye on obvious stuff like cm, not limiting sex to just when ov'ing either trying to make sure it's throughout month as well so he doesn't feel used really dont know what else to do. Think he needs to accept too thst we are on A bit of deadline as if No bfp by jan then got to consider prrtty major surgery which at best Will mean 6 Weeks off work unpaid or at worst could see tubes or ovaries being removed leaving expensive ivf as only option .Guess he's probably confused where his normally low maintenance ,strong , funny and independent wife has gone only to be replaced by this tearful, over sensitive , high maintenance clomid monster ! Lol

Thanks for listening Hun really helps to have someone who understands. Hope everything is going ok for you, are you feeling any different post ov? Hope you have a good day xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I didn't realise you were on such a tight deadline. That definately would put a lot of pressure on you. Think you should stress that to him and ask for his support next month if you don't get success. Ask him to initiate sex more so its not like your being regimented.
I have been trying to keep things relaxed aswell but it is very hard. Maybe we need to think of ways to be spontaneous and seduce without the dh realising its the right times. Not that easy though when they are being moody on top of our clomid moods. 
I'm sure your dh will get his wife back soon, you need his support to get her back.
I definately have been feeling happier the last few days although think as the 2ww goes on my stress and mood will increase again.
I so hope we both get success this month.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yeah I really hope we do too, be the best christmas present ever even if it did mean a sober one lol. I'm reAlly tempted next month not to mention the days to him and just encourage him to initiate whenever he fancies it and I'll do the same but I'll just make sure if he doesn't initiate it at the right time then I will. Because I don't think he'll ever truly get the importance of timing in his very laid back way so maybe it's best I carry than can on my own lol. Yep does feel very pressured think will say tho that even if do decide on surgery then I want another 2 months on clomid while on waiting list. Prob is my consultant retired soon and he's the only one there I trust so feels a bit of rush to make sure he does it. Which hospital are you under?

It's all so much waiting isn't it? Waiting to ov then waiting to see if af turns up ! Dont know about you but I'm soooooo impatient! Have you got much on to keep your mind occupied over next few weeks? Have you decided whether you will test before your due? Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I'm at the luton and dunstable hospital, Bedfordshire. The waiting lists are very long so have to wait ages between appointments. When i first went she said she would see me in 8 weeks, I got an appointment through that was 19 weeks away. I routinely called for cancellations and luckily got it down to 13 weeks. But yes lots of waiting definately takes the fun out of the whole process. I don't think I'll test early, although may change my mind, but I would be scared I was going to tempt fate by being impatient.

Hows your hospital? You said your consultants retiring, that will be a shame, especially if you trust him. 

Possibly going to go away this weekend to visit my brother which will be a good distraction, however work is quiet at the moment and I have lots of standbys where I am just sitting around waiting. Will have to visit lots of friends and family to stop myself thinking about things too much.

How about you? Have you got plans over the next few weeeks.?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

My experience of my hospital (Lincoln) is thaty consultant and a few of the nurses are amazing but all the other Drs I have come in to contact with have been awful which is why I'm so gutted my consultant is retiring. Waiting lists haven't been too bad so far tho and I kinda know that if clomid doesn't work or I have to have the op and it leads to them taking bits away then that will probably ne the end of my dealings with them as they don't do ivf so would have to go go Nottingham as either private or hopefully nhs funded if I can get my bmi within the limit set by my pct but even then only get one funded cycle round here. Although really starting to question if we'd be able to cope if it got that far seems as dh is already finding being on clomid and timing bms etc a bit obtrusive.

I bet I will end up testing early especially if my day 21 blood test next week shows I'm likely to have ov'd, I'm sooooo impatient! Lol 

We are out this weekend for a friends birthday and then got lots to do around the house, work is manic too and then of course got Christmas to think about ( of course I can't stop day dreaming about if I am pg by then and how I'd tell all our family on Christmas day etc) so hopefully should be able to keep busy for the 2ww. I'm trying not to get my hopes up tho cause the while cm situtation is most bizarre and really making me think I haven't ov'd at all or did really early so may have mis timed?! I feel for you having to wait around a lot at the mo with work cause that's when you mind starts to wonder. Hope you have a nice time with your brother this weekend. Are you laying of the alcohol during the 2ww? I'm not sure what to do this weekend cause I know it will raise major suspicions if I don't drink lol xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

You seem like you have a lot going on which is good. If you normally drink and your friends would be suspicious then id definately tell them before your on antibiotics and cant drink. Or you could just have a couple. If you weren't on the clomid the chances are you'd had a drink with them without even thinking about whether your PG or not.  Would be hard if they started saying "oooh are you pg" if you arent drinking. Im lucky because i quite often drive and dont drink so nothing unusual. 

Hopefully it won't come to ivf for you. I don't know what our pct rules for if are at the moment. Did you ask? I looked on the internet and the only thing I could find was from about 2005 when they had canceled funding for it but were looking to reintroduce it soon. Hopefully it won't come to that for me either.

I really hope its worked for me, read the advice on the clomid thread that said pineapple juice and a warm belly help implantation so i brought loads of juice and been sleeping with a wheat bag on my belly. Worth a try. Think I may be sitting myself up for a fall. Got everything crossed for us though. Need to stay positive. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yep lots on so hopefully next 2 weeks will fly by. Think I'm gonna have a drink when they buy but when our round just have a soft drink that looks like could be a spirit and mixer.

I found a website that tells you all the pct's criterias and how many they will fund, shows what a post code lottery it really is as if I lived 10 miles south could have 3 cycles! My consultant did day tho we wouldn't meet the criteria for Lincolnshire at the moment cause of my bmi and dh smoking so really hope doesn't come to it cause don't think we could afford private. Really hope it doesn't come to that for you either

That's useful to know, hate pineapple but if it can help will defo give it a go next time. As for a warm belly I've definitely had one of those with the hot flushes I've been having the past 2 nights ( complimented by insomnia last night! Lol) how you feeling today? 

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I like your plan for the weekend. At least you aren't missing out. 


Think I found the same website. I'm luckily in the 3 if cycle area, agree its a terrible postcode lottery. Everyone should have a fair chance no matter where they live. Hopefully not something we will need to face. 
Do you have to loose much to get within the bmi criteria. The smoking would be easy to get around.

I haven't been too bad, no side effects really. Insomnia isn't fun, nor are hot sweats either. Hope you have a better night tonight. 

Any more signs of ovulating in case you were later than you thought?

This 2ww is hard, I just would love to know now but got to let my body do its thing. Keep everything crossed now that its all works its magic.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yep I figure thats the best comprimise and at least then I won't have a hangover sunday so can do something else like go to see the baby seals at the coast or there are a couple of christmas markets about.

I think I'd have about 2 stone to lose but its really difficult as I'm not particularly bad with my eating anyway, i don't eat chocolate, crisps etc. Have been reading about pcos and insulin resisance and the associated difficulties with losing weight and it all rings so true. Its just annoying that if I was paying for it the clinics would have no problem with my weight as it is now and would treat me staight away. But I'm trying to keep positive that that won't be an issue cause me and hubby will do it on our own!

Hope have a better night too, i seriously thought i was losing my mind at one point cause i got so tired and emotional! lol i really don't know what to think about ov'ing! after the cm changing to like it would be post ov it seems to have had a brief change back to fertile since last night and also had some pain in my right side so who knows? defo going to request scans next time see consultant becuase it is confusing me! 

I'm sure your body will do what it needs too, it sounds promising with the scans and the symptoms you've been having so hopefully you will be in luck this month! Have you got much planned over christmas or do you have to work? 

xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah baby seals, how cute. Christmas markets are cool too. Sounds like a good Sunday whatever you do.

Oooh definately get some bms in tonight and tomorrow, if your cm has changed back. The stabbing pain is a good sign. I got told by the sonographer that it would feel like a stitch but really low down when you ovulated. I felt twinges, nothing inhabilitating but I knew, hopefully then you haven't missed it like you were thinking.  

The nhs is really frustrating, my dh couldn't believe that not everyone in the UK get the same chances for ivf, don't know where he's been, that's common knowledge. Best to keep positive that you won't need it, loosing weight is hard at the best of times let alone when you have medical issues. Hopefully this will be your month and all the worries will over.

We have a busy Christmas, I am working the 3 days prior to Xmas. Christmas day I am oin standby but there are no flights so should be OK. We have between 7 and 12 people coming for dinner, no definately figures. Then dh has arranged a house party Xmas night as its our friends birthday. Boxing day I think we have another 7 people. Sounds exhausting actually. How about you two?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yep think will def have to have some bms just in case. Its so hard to pinpoint though because i do get quite a lot of pain anyway. 

Don't think my dh really understands the nhs/ivf issue yet but I'm hoping it won't come to having to get him to understand! 

Our christmas plans are a bit up in the air at the moment, it could be the 2 of us or it could be 10+! lol WOuld be nice to know soon though so I can get my turkey but don't think will be in luck on that front. Dh's dad lives abroad so won't know about him until very close to the time and I'm currently not speaking to my sister so don't know whats happeneing there or with my parents as they will more than likely spend with her as she has kids. Boxing Day we are at DH's Mums's and then after that for the first time ever I have got between christmas and new year off (always had to cover for people with children before) and to make it even better dh has actually got the same time off too! yay! So lots of chilling and relaxing I think as we have got a busy december with something on every weekend! 

Have a good weekend xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hope your weekend was fun. We didn't go to my brothers in the end. Although we haven't stopped. Cinema and dinner Friday, bowling and dinner Saturday, and shopping and dinner today. Been so piggy but had lots of fun. 

What did you end up doing?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi how are you? Hope you had a good weekend. How's it feel to be half way through 2ww? Xx


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Sorry just realised you replied the same time as me. We went out last night for meal for my friends birthday which was lovely but I wasn't quite myself , just feel so strange on the clomid . Today we just did some shopping and out the new shed up - it's all rock n roll here! Lol what did you see at the cinema? Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey, sorry never realised you'd replied at the same time. Sounds like you had a fun Sunday putting up a shed. Shame you never felt great at the birthday dinner, it definately takes over your mind.

We watched 50/50 which is about a guy with cancer. Was funny and emotional.  Made me feel guilty as dh mum has cancer and we don't spend much time with her so did see her Saturday too. 

Yeah half way though the 2ww, is a weird feeling. I have moments where I dream that I am PG and then convince myself that I won't be this time. That way I hope I won't be so dissapointed. I so hope I will be. Waking up really hot in the mornings, side effects of the clomid.

How are you doing? You had any thoughts as to whether its worked for you? Whens your day 21 blood test? Wednesday?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey

Sorry to hear bout your dh's mum, is it treatable?

Yep I've got my blood test on wed. Had to speak to my consultant today cause pain and bloating feeling is getting worse he said could just be my normal problems but could be clomid so gotta have scan if gets any worse and if it is clomid then not to take it again and review my options when see him in jan. Hope it's not the clomid causing it. I keep thinking might be because feeling so tired and boobs bit sore etc but then have to have reality check that it'd be far to early as only cd 19 so sure wouldn't get any symptoms yet and just be the clomid! 

Do you still think you'll manage the whole 2ww before testing? I think I'll end up testing earlier especially with the pain I get I'd rather no sooner as already told me I'm high risk of ectopic. Apparently first response are the best for early testing up to 6 days before.

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Yes think i will hold out for the 2 weeks, planning on testing Saturday morning. Wanted to give myself the best chance of having a true result.

Sorry to hear your in so much pain and bloated. I hope that it isn't the clomid although isn't good if its your normal problems too. Hopefully the blood test and pg test will give you the good results. You did say before you thought maybe you ovulated early. Will she give you an ultrasound then to check what happening inside?

Dh mum is having treatment but it will never be cured, just to give her longer. Its been a year now and she's doing well.

Everything crossed for positive results for both of us. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks hun, my consultant just said to get my gp
For urgent scan if pain gets worse. It hasn't been great today but no way im going near a hospital tomorrow with the strikes.

How's your moods at the moment? Mine have been getting progressively worse and today I have reached all time psycho! Literally feel like could kill someone, everyone today has annoyed the he'll out of me. Feel like need good cry for a release but just can't even tho over emotional. Really hope it's the clomid and I'm not just going insane. Don't know how long I can carry on taking it, hope it gets better once your used to it. 

Will keep everything crossed for you saturday, hope it's the result you want xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Thank you for keeping everything crossed for me, i will definately return that favour to you too.

So sorry to hear your moods are rubbish. I'm sure no one has noticed your mood as much as your feeling it. II'm sure it is the clomid, its one of the common side effects. My moods haven't been bad at all but did have a little cry tonight. My dh was really supportive tonight which was nice. Hows your dh being?? I hope he's looking after you.

When are you planning on testing? You said you would test early.

Good luck for your blood test tomorrow too.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks I hope it is just a side effect and I haven't finally lost my marbles! Lol don't think it helps work is ridiculous. Must say dh has been great past few days really looking after me and not biting when being a complete *****! 

Think I will test at weekend which will be cd 24/25. Boots have got all ov and pg tests but one get one half price so think will get some first Response as meant to be good for early testing. Just hope void results may be back by weekend too. 

Are you just generally feeling bit tearful or did something set you off. Hope your ok now  xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ooh I may go and treat myself at boots too then.

Glad your dh is being supportive, it does make a difference. Its nice to know that your in it together even though you have everything going on inside, just helps when they give you that cuddle or say the right things. 

Don't know what was up yesterday. Well he had spent lots of money and I started stressing about money. Then talking about how we couldn't afford a baby. Then I was worrying he'd leave me or resent me if we did have a baby. That i really want a baby. And finally when he hadn't heard or realised what I said  2 weeks ago that one of my best friends had said she was 6 weeks PG. But he said all the right things to reassure me. Must just be hormones. I always get teary before my af so either way my hormones are playing up.

Hope she doesn't hurt too much when she takes the blood.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

What have our lives come to when we see pg tests as a treat?! Lol

Never ceases to amaze me the important things men manage not to hear! It's hard isn't it cause you spend so much time worry about whether you can get pg or not that sometimes the 'oh my god what if I do' creeps up and hits you. I have the same worries cause it's just been the two of us and we are incredibly close and I do worry what affect a little screaming needy person will have on us too. Really worried bout money too, if someone could give the assurance that waiting a year or 2 wouldn't affect my chances then we'd wait and get a few debts cleared etc but my consultant has pretty much said now or never. But I just keep telling myself you find a way and manage don't you?! Glad your dh is listening tho and giving you lots of hugs. I get really emotional before af to so it's quite creul really that could be early pg sign but also could just be af on it's way  

Just had blood done she was very gentle and I don't mind needles either. So hopefully fri or mon should know if ovulated. Hopefully a bfp over weekend will prove that tho! Xx


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Just found out first response are buy one get one free in superdrug ! Typically found thus out after I'd been to boots! Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh no that's so typical that you'd already purchased them but thank you for the tip. 

I do worry about him resenting me because it wasn't that long ago he said never to having children. But he came around to the idea eventually so i do worry he's not 100% up for it. I have given him plenty of chances to say no and he's been to the appointments with me and had his tests so it proves he's not against it. Also his brother who always wanted children did fall out with his wife and moved in with us for 4 months when his daughter was 6 months old, they are back together and happy. I worry he will react the same although he is very different to his brother. The money thing is hard, we have incurred debt and although its manageable at the moment I worry that when I'm on maternity we will struggle. I always wanted to be financially secure but I'm not sure in this day and age that you ever can be without winning the lottery. Having fertility issues is also a wake up call that there is never a right time, what you dream about your future rarely goes to plan.

Getting nervous about the weekend, hopefully we will both have life changing results although I'm not getting my hopes up this time.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Bless you , it all is such a worry and once you get thru one step the next has a whole new set! I don't think men get it so much and engage in the process so much as we do cause it kinda takes over our lives and guess that's why we worry so much about how it will change things. Suppose there is a greater risk with people who've had fertility issues cause it's that special and wanted that much that imagine could be easy to let a baby come between you. I do worry my dh doesn't understand what in will be like in terms of finances and time if we do succeed especially as I'd prob have to go back to work quite quickly.

Yep hope we both get good results . Trying not to get my hopes up cause really don't think I am plus starting to feel really fluey today but know I'll stillbe gutted xx


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

How are you feeling? Do you feel like af may be on her way? Hope not! Got everything crossed for you for tomorrow!

Must admit I did a sneaky test this morning as i thought I was the 6 days before af that first response claims to be able to detect from but then read the instructions and realised i clearly can't count as tomorrow would be the first day. Needless to say was BFN and think it will remain that way. I've secretly been getting my hopes up as been deeling so sicky and tired the past couple of days but then I know in reality I'm gonna be disappointed as its more than likely this bug that everyone I know has got! Really did underestimate how hard this waiting game bit would be! Especially for the worlds most impatient woman lol. Hope your coping with the 2ww better than I am.

Good luck again for tomorrow xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hello, 

The 2ww is horrible. I am trying not to read too much into every little sick feeling or twinge. I have felt sort of sickie, but not to a point that i have wanted to be sick or even to mention. I think its because I wanted to feel something. Also some sort of pain in my breasts but so slight that if i feel them I don't feel anything so think maybe that's in my head. Excited and nervous about tommorrows test. Got a feeling I will be dissapointed. Did have a feeling an hour ago that af was coming but then went to loo and nothing and feel ok now so hopefully not. Reading the clomid chat it seems its normal for it not to be a regular 28 day cycle. Since i came off bc my shortest cycle was last month at 5 weeks but they have normally been up to 12 weeks so not expecting it on the day 28 on the dot.

Your keen testing already, sorry to hear it was bfn. There's still hope though. Were you upset? Will you test again tommorrow? If thats the 6 days or wait till cd28?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Don't think I will test again will just wait and see if af arrives. Spoke to the nurse at the clinic earlier for my blood results and she said they are lower than they'd like to see. My progesterone is 25 which although isn't impossible it's not overly positive either so I've kinda written this month off now. Bit worried though cause not having bloods next month so won't have a clue if worked or not. Might ask my gp tho cause really don't wanna be taking this horrible stuff if not working. Not sure if clomid has a gradual/ build ip effect and takes a while to work? 

Sounds like your being far more restrained and logical that me! Lol xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh shelbel that's a shame about the blood test. I would definately ask for the blood test again next month, at least then you can see if it works.  Its not the end of your hopes though, there is still a chance.  

I don't want to be disappointed, I was also contemplating waiting to see if af comes, giving myself another week before I tested. I am definately going to test in the morning. Its been 2 weeks, think I won't be laying in though, will be nervous. 

Keeping everything crossed.


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

The 2ww is hard but there's hope, now I just have to wait for af which sucks. I guess you just start again on the clomid. This process has many highs and lows. I kept willing the 2nd line to appear but no joy. I feel very gutted, did get my hopes up a little to much.

Oh how I long for the morning I get a positive, no Christmas news for the family, was looking forward to that.

Fingers crossed you get a better result. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Oh Hun I'm sorry it was bfn  how are you and dh feeling? It must be hard especially knowing you ovulated but then I suppose is it on 25% of people who ovulate get pg each month so try and think at least you got over the first hurdle this month 

Guess we have to try and stay positive and see the first month as a practise. Think I was just annoyed that had suffered all the horrible symptoms but no result as my bloods were exactly the same as without clomid. Think might ring next week and ask for stronger dose.

Have you got much on this weekend to keep you busy?  Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Thank you for your support. I was very sad this morning, dh was actually very sweet, I was glad that he was understanding and said the right things. He's always so laid back and positive so he was saying we know what to do next month and it will happen at some point.

I think your right this month was a practice, although its a shame that you had such severe side effects with out ovulating. After your last message about testing early I thought you still had hope for this month but if your day 21 bloods were the same as pre clomid then yes I think you should see if they can increase it. 

How are you feeling about things, how has your dh been, has he been supportive?

Spent most of today just cleaning, but been to IKEA this afternoon with dh. Going to winter wonderland tommorow in Hyde park which will be lovely, hopefully perk me up and get me some Christmas spirit which is lacking so far.

What about you? Have you been doing fun things?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

We've had a really busy weekend so it's helped to keep my mind off stuff a bit. We went to Lincoln Christmas Market last night and then put the rest of our decorations and the outside lights up today and a bit of shopping which was a bit depressing as kept being drawn to all the cute baby stuff! Dh has been lovely bless him. Got a manic weekends right up until Christmas so I'm hoping this next cycle will fly by!

Have you had a good weekend ? Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Sounds like your getting well and truely into the Christmas spirit. Christmas markets are brilliant, love all the food stalls. We had a lovely day at the winter wonderland but it was so busy, could barely move.

I am the same always torture myself with baby clothes, one day we'll be able to buy them I'm sure.

Glad you have lts planned up till Christmas, should definately make the next cycle go faster. Must admit we have a few things going on so lots of dstractions.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

It was really busy at the market we went to - not great when your getting dizzy and mild panic attacks in crowds! My friend went to Hyde Park last week and said it was amazing. Wish we had time to go.

I'm having one of those bad couple of days - started last night when burst into tears for no apparent reason and then it appears that everyone is pregnant except me, 2 more when I looked on ******** last night and then today with work I must have been in the most fertile town in britian - I went to get a sandwich and another customer was breaking her happy news to the shop assistant. Then went to the bank and there were 3 (I kid you not) preganant women of various stages all discussing it and then went to the chemist and a woman was in there buying a pg test saying 'I don't know why I'm buying this cause i know I am this will be my 5th after all!' Have never come across so much preganancy or maybe I don't notice it normally. Anyway cue more tears, then rang my nirse to see if I could up my dose of clomid and she said no especially as I've been getting side effects! Gutted! She said she won't know whether they tested on the right day to get an accurate progesterone reading until af arrives but I kept trying to tell her i'm a regular 28 day cycle so day 21/22 will be accuraste for me but she wouldn't listen - so frustrating! 

How are you anyway? Any sign of AF? Are you taking provera as well?xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah bless, you are not alone with everyone being pregnant. I see them everywhere too. 
Do you normally get emotional when af is due? Or do you think its clomid side effects. Sounds like you had a pretty tough time of it lately. I'm so sorry she won't increase the medication . Not what you want to hear but she may be right about the side effects. Hopefully next month everything will go to plan and you'll ovulate. Have you asked for the scans this month?

No sign of af yet, you'd think it would be on its way as 16dpo. Will test again in a couple of days. Since I came off the pill the shortest cycle has been 5 weeks but from what I have read it should come 14 dpo. 

Not taking provera, not been mentioned to me before. It brings on af doesnt it? Are you taking it?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi yeah I do tend to get emotional a few days before af but given how bad I've been past few weeks it's hard to distinguish what it is! Starting to wonder if a bit of it is the stress and anxiety of it all, the worst bit is the crying and forgetfulness/ditzy so that easily could be stress. Suppose it's like anything new in your life tho you have to have a period of adjustment and get used to the change. On the plus side tho my little outburst last night did lead to a big hug and a long supportive chat with dh. Think he realises now that the stress is getting to me and I can't adopt his laid back attitude of taking each day as it comes (as wise as it it) I need us to have a plan of how far we will go and when we will draw the line and whether we'd adopt or not etc cause I can see if you don't have an idea on these things you'd get consumed with them and carried along forever.

Yeah I'm sure she's prob right on the dosage just v frustrating. Do you know what your progesterone levels were pre clomid? She did say was a bit strange mine were exactly the same before taking and after. As for scans she said the trust doesn't offer follicle tracking scans to anyone so unless I get a lottery win to go private think will have to go without lol .

Hope af arrives soon for you so you can get started again or better still you get a surprise bfp! I'm not on provera now but was a couple of years ago when they suspected I had endo strangely I took it fir the opposite effect tho - I had to take it everyday to stop my periods by putting my body in a false state of pregnancy/menopause. Think it is more commonly used in short doses for bringing on af. Maybe a possibility if you end up waiting too long? 

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I'm so glad that dh finally is seeing it from yuour point of view. Its a shame that it was hen your emotions were uncontrolable. Still its good if your finally talking things through. Don't give up hope yet that it will, try to stay positive.

I don't know what my levels were just that they said I hant ovulated. Maybe I'll ask next time I see the doctor. There is another drug on this page caled tamoxifen, not really aware of it but guessding it does the same, wonder if you could try asking for that instead of clomid. It would be worth suggesting as clomid has given you side effects and didnt seem to work. At least worth looking it up.
Such a shame about the folicle tracking scans as well, seems your pct isn't investing in fertility treatments, seems very unfair that some places do and some don't.

I don't feel like I'm getting af yet, don't feel like I'm PG either. I have been looking and it seems common on clomid to get 35 to 40 day cycles, however these girls have been told its prob because it hadn't worked for them, the tracking scans showed  something happened so a little confused as to where af is. Give it a few more days then test and book doctors appointment to see about provera.

Hope that you have a better day to morrow. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks for your support hun. Will defo have a read up on Tamoxifen so I can ask my consultant on 10th Jan. 

That is a bit strange where your af is. I find the science of it all so confusing, you think you've got it and then something else comes along that can't understand.!lol Hope you get sorted soon though. 

I started reading a book last night called baby making plan and a lot of it focuses on natural/alternative things but there seems to be some things you can really relate to. Its fastinating that depending on what type you are dictates what sort of diet, excercise and methods you should use to help you concieve, so because I'm a heat i shouldnt have a hot water bottle to try and help conception as my tum is already warm whereas a cold or damp should. A lot of it would be waaaay too much work to follow but some little bits are worth trying and it has convinced be to get booked in for some accupuncture so watch this space.....


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Morning, hope everything is OK with you. It seems I have discovered what happened to my af. I just had a bfp. A fantastic surprise. Guess I didn't have enough hcg in my urine the other day. Well fingers crossed that it all goes well.very nervous that its too good to be true

What's happening with you, any chance you have had your surprise bfp or not wanted af? 

That book sounds interesting. Its always worth trying some of the stuff I drank the pineapple juice and did the hot it waster bottle, which looks like it.

I'll keep everything crossed that you too get a surprise bfp too. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Oh wow! I'm so so so pleased for you! Bet you and dh are made up! Are you sharing you news with anyone yet or just enjoying it the two of you?

As for me I could feel af was on it's way last night and started this afternoon which is a day early altho very light, so gonna ring the clinic and try one more time to see if can take higher dose or at least get some more bloods this cycle.

Again I'm so pleased for you, it's lovely to hear of it working and I'll keep everything crossed for a happy healthy 9 months xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah I'm sorry you got your af, that's such a shame. You must refocus and try again. Your turn will come. Its got to be worth trying again to see if they can increase the meds. Have you looked into the tamoxifen? Have you tested again to make sure it isn't implation bleeding?

We are a little bit shocked after Saturday, will try to keep it quiet but my best friend asks alot of questions, she is a midwife and quite interested in all this. Think she will ask and I will crumble. Dh smiled when I told him this morning, it was nice to see. We are both nervous that it won't last but it was a lovely surprise.

Thank  your support this month, its definately been a great help. Please keep in touch and let me know how your getting on with clomid and increasing the dose.

Will keep everything crossed you your bfp soon. X x x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

I may test again just to be sure but certainly feels like af just without the bleed! Lol tried the clinic again and she said altho it shows we tested progesterone on the right day so 25 was accurate still won't consider upping dose. Did cross my mind to double it anyway but then thought I suppose I should trust them. Realised then tho had forgot to ask about another blood test so will have to ring again tomorrow, the poor woman will think I'm stalking her!

Bet it was a surprise. When will you be due then?  Do you feel any different?

Thank you so much for you support too and you too keep in touch would love to hear how it's going and you can warn my of what I will hopefully soon have to look forward to!Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I am sorry they still won't consider upping the clomid. Hopefully it will all just work this time. I'm sure your not the only person who calls, you need to be proactive with the nhs to get things moving. I pushed for checks and appointments in the beginning.

It was a big surprise, I was so excited to begin with but as the day went on I also seemed to be experiencing fear that it won't last. Very scared I'm not going to be able to sustain the pregnancy. Maybe everyone has these fears mixed in with the excitement. Apart from being tired I don't feel any different apart from just kowing, and the tired was prob because I woke up early. Reading up on it different symptoms should kick in in the next week or so.

Better go, hope you have a good day. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

I'm sure you will be fine hun - just think your biggest hurdle was to get ovulating and get pg and you've done that! From people I know theyve all said tiredness was the first thing they noticed. Will your hospital give you early scans or see you more often because of having fetility treatment? I'm really really excited for you - you can start thinking about all the fun stuff now like whether to find out the sex and thinking about names etc.

I had my first accupunture today and feeling really positive about it. Turns out as well as going in for the needle treatment i do need to have hot water bottle on my tum at least once a day all month round as i have a ridicuously colde pelvic area compared to the rest of me so need to get it warmed up to help get the blood flowing and produce eggs and stop cysts forming etc. Really quite interesting and gives me something positive to focus on rather than the clomid side effects. Never did retest as af is now in full flow so back on the old clomid tonight.x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Thank you for your message yesterday. I have been feeling tired lately so guess that's from being PG. I have a doctors app on monday so will see if they will be doing anything extra. I have told a couple of people already, close friends but no family yet. I know we won't be finding out the sex, in luton they wil not tell anyone due to a high ethnic population who prefer boys.

Glad to hear your feeling positive this time. The acupuncture sounds interesting, does it hurt? Very interesting about the cold pelvic area, still at least with it being so cold its no hardship to cuddle a hot water bottle. Its got to be worth trying all these things. Hopefully this will be your month. 

Have you got any plans for this weekend? I am visiting my dad, having an early Christmas. Should be nice. What ever you do I hope its fun. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Never heard of hospitals not telling people before but guess that's be ause I come from a county that's 97% White . Such a shame that people would get rid of a baby just because of it sex when others are desperate to have a baby regardless. Would you have liked to have found out? 

Yeah trying to feel positive this time and generally having a more proactive approach to dealing with all the stuff that's likely to get me down and stress me out so hopefully the clomid won't be able to get me down so much. The acupuncture didn't hurt at all going again next week which will be just before I start ov'ing so it might help . 

We have got a busy weekend , shopping and bowling tomorrow and then cooking Sunday lunch for 12 on Sunday so that be nice. An early Christmas sounds good, are you going to tell him? Hope your dr app goes well x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hello shelbel, 

Hope dinner went well, cooking for 12, was it for a special occasion? Glad you had lots planned to keep your mind of the clomid.hows it going this time, are they effecting you the same as last month.

Didn't tell my dad or brother about being pregnant.have only told my closest friends. I know I have a photo of the positive preg test but it still doesnt feel real. I don't seem to feel any different. Got the doc appointment tomorrow so maybe it will feel more real. Maybe aswell  having a bfn before my mind was resolved to not being pregnant.

Hope you have a good week without to many symptoms and the accupuncure goes well.x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi 

It was just a pre Christmas get together but it went well although I was very tired and hot by the end of it. Kept having flushes and having to go outside so think dh's mum suspects we might have started the treatment. 

How did your dr appointment go? I can imagine it's hard for it to seem real particularly after the bfn and also bet was shock on the first cycle! how's dh adjusting to the news? X


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah sounds like fun, are you reinacting it on Christmas day? Hopefully your mother in law won't ask too many questions.did the clomid give you hot flushes last time too?

My doctors appointment was a flop, came home upset and confused. The doctor was pretty useless. I assumed that when you get pregnant you go to the doctor, none of my friends that have children told me any different. When i went in she said congratulations but then said have you seen the midwife?, no I'm telling you the doctor, then said had I hadthe bfp confirmed? Not other than the hpt. I told her got preg from using clomid and she said prescribed by the hospital I hope, the look on her face was like I had brought it from the black market. I also asked for bloods for my hypothyroid as preg can really effect it in the first 12 weeks, she said well it was OK in August. Yes but I wasn't pregnant then. She said well you need to go back to the consultant at the hospital. I felt like an idiot, no one tells you what to do once it finally happens. She did authorise the thyroid blood test as I said I was worried, but do I need to make an appointment with a midwife to.. all she could say way the consultant might want you under the midwife here to. She was next to useless, I don't feel any more positive, just alone, hopefully the consultant will be able to see me before my next app in January.

I am sorry for of loading to you, hopefully your doctors will be more helpful when you get your bfp.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Oh no! Sorry to hear it was a bad experience! Sounds bloody useless! I'm afraid I can't be any help in what your meant to do next as I must say I've not really thought about all that part as I think you spend so much engery and focus on trying to get pg that I end up pretty clueless on actually being pg! I would think tho that it seems pretty reasonable that you'd go to your gp to be reffered to a midwife, cause after all if you hadn't have been under hospital who else would you go to other than gp? Is there another gp you could speak to over the phone or something? Or maybe ring the hospital to let them know got bfp? Hope you get sorted tho xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Yeah it was a shock how uninterested she was and the questions made me feel so stupid. I asked a friend last night what you do and she said go to the gp who refers you to the midwife so I have no idea what this gp was on about. I am going to call the hospital in a bit, hopefully they can guide me as to what to do.

How are the side effects this time? Apart from the hot flushes Sunday. Are you withdrawn like the first time??


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Called the consultant and although I didn't actually get to speak to her direct, her secretary passed on my details and called back. She has said she will order a scan at 7 weeks, so just after Xmas. Also called the doctors and asked reception what I need to do. They got me to fill in a form for the midwife to call me. So feeling a bit better about things today. 

So like I asked before, his the clomid going this time? The side effects OK?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Glad to hear your getting sorted! Be nice for you to have a scan in the new year, bet it will seem far more real then.

Side effects are pretty much same as last time - a withdrawn, moody cow! lol Dont think i can completely blame the clomid tho as got a lot on at work at the moment so generally feeling a bit low and very stressed out. Soooooo ready for the week after christmas off. We have gotta take the fil to heathrow that week so think might go into london and have a look at that winter wonderland you went to, but other than that don't think will do bugger all that week! lol Got my second accupunture tomorrow and also getting my nails done so hopefully that will chill me out a bit! Hope your getting plenty of rest and your dh is spoiling you rotten! Bet its especially difficult with your job being on your feet a lot. xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah shelbel its good you can laugh at the side effects, guessing you either laugh or cry. Rubbish that works stressful too, but at least you will appreciate the break after christmas. Make sure you relax in the week off though.

Good luck with the accupuncture and the nails, hope they do the job at chilling you out.

Hows dh this cycle, is he alot more accommodating with the routine sex. Is he being supportive and looking after you?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks hun. Yep he's being much better this time, think now he has seen how horrible the clomid is he appreciates my determination! Lol still doesn't talk bout it as much as I'd like but think that's a man thing! Has your dh managed to get his head round being a daddy yet?


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Glad your dh is being more cooperative the time, my dh doesn't discuss things to much either, but actions speak louder than words and if he's not complaining and having bms then I wouldnt worry.

My dh doesn't discuss thing much but when i was stressing about money earlier he said he would worry about the money , I should concentrate on staying PG. I think that's his way of saying hes accepted it. He's told a few of his friends to so that's always a good sign.

How did your accupuncure go? Do you feel all relaxed?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Yep definitely feel more relaxed and chilled today and ready for a weekend of bms! 

Thats really sweet what your dh said, think that's a very man thing wanting to protect and take charge of the practicalities! Lol he is right tho you should make sure your are as relaxed and worry free ad possible! Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

How are you going this week? Lots of bms I hope.

Have you had any signs of ovulation yet?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey how are you? Getting any symptoms other than tiredness yet? 

I'm charting bbt this month and also using opks and no sign yet altho should prob be mon or tues I think. Still been having the bms tho! Lol starting to feel really fluey tho so hope I'm feeling up to it on mon or tues! In 2 minds whether to skip my blood test this month cause have booked it for 28th which is already a day late cause Drs closed on 27th and 28th is day we taking fil to heathrow so was gonna go to London. Really wanna know  if managed to get higher than 25 but then don't wanna miss out in London . Dh has been so sweet this time, he said earlier he's got a good feeling about this month cause his little swimmers I feeling strong! Couldn't help but say they can be as strong as they like but if they haven't got an egg or a good egg they can't do anything and he said well surely if my swimmers are strong it can make up for it and find an egg! Lol bless him think I really need him to learn about the complexity of reproducing lol xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah that is so cute what your dh said, nice that's he's being positive and trying to keep your spirits up. Great he's enjoying all the bms too.  I will be keeping everything crossed for the opks to give you the results you want Monday.

I can see why you may skip the blood test, a day out somewhere different for you and dh would do you the word of good. Spending a day just you two in new surroundings would help take your mind off all this. Can you not try and book it for the first appointment the next day, maybe it would be 2 days late and I'm n expert but will it make that much difference, I don't know much about the results and timings tbh.

I am getting even more tired, sleeping 3 times a day, need to stop having little naps. Feel a little nauseus so find myself eating alot more which stops that feeling. Got an appointment with the midwife to morrow and an early 7 week viability scan on the 28th to check things are going normal, which I am so nervous about.  

Well I have everything crossed for you ovulating this week. Enjoy the bms. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Good idea, might give that a go cause altho won't be fully accurate will give an indication and I'm sure people have to do it when their day 21 is a weekend. Just cooking Sunday dinner for my family this week so hope I won't be too frazzled for bms later! Lol 

Do your work know yet? Sorry to hear your feeling sick but at least you can still eat I guess so you and your baby will be getting all the nourishment you need. Have known a few people who haven't been able to eat cause of feeling sick. Let me know how your appointment with the midwife goes xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Midwife was nice, just asking lots of questions about our history etc. Got my notes and lots of leaflets to read.

Going to see my work to morrow, I was supposed to fly friday and got scared so went sick, was feeling rubbish and couldn't face being stuck in an aircraft, let alone if something happened because I flew. Would like to have kept it secret at least till after the 7 week scan when hopefully we will see everythings going to plan, but as I have a couple of flights this week I have to tell them. They just give us ground duties but the gossip spreads quickly.

Did you make a decision on the blood test next week? Any sign of ovulation?

How was dinner yesterday, hope it didn't tire you out too much for the bms. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

glad the midwife went well. Yep guess doing ground duties would get people talking! Yep can imagine flying isn't great when pg. We are meant to be going to Qatar in April but I'm holding off booking the flights until nearer the time just incase! Cant imagine me wanting to be on 8 hour flight or in the middle east if pg!lol

Nope still undecided bout blood test but will prob have it day after if can get appointment. No bloomin sign of ov - opks are negative, no cm, and no temp changes just loadsa pain today - have just spent the entire day at work with hot water bottle glued to me. The dinner was pretty tiring - am throughly fed up of cooking roast dinners now so dreading christmas day! lol. Did manage some bms but cant say was our most inspiring performance! he he! x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey shelbel, just wanted to check in and see how your going this week? Any signs of the illusive ovulation?

Did you make a decision on your blood test next week?

Nearly Christmas, I hope your looking forward to it.

I told work yesterday, I have been given leave till my scan next week and if that's good then I am on office duty from thursday, so fingers crossed.

Hope you keeping positive. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey 

Nope still no sign - not even a bit of cm! Charting my temp tho has made me realise how low my temperature is which apparently can be sign of thyroid or hormone problems so think will ask dr about that. Bit gutted that doesn't seem to be working again but then am v excited bout Christmas and my fil arrived todayso that is taking the edge off! Still undecided about the blood test, def want to have one at some point this cycle tho to give me proof of whether need dose upping or not.

That's good that your not having to fly. Are you more excited about scan or Christmas? Lol so much for you to look forward to! Is your dh going to the scan? Just think you'll have a little baby next Christmas! Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

That rubbish that you have no signs of ovulation. I have an under active thyroid and before my diagnosis I was always freezing, definately get that checked, see if they can add it to your blood test next week.

Don't give up all hope though, you could ovulate late in the cycle. I guess you need to have that test to build up evidence. How about side effects this month, are they less than last time, the consultant may be more inclined if your not as bad as last month.

I am very glad that I have a lady at work who has known my situation, if i had gone through the proper channels I would prob be in the office alreadyas she is quite dithery at making decisions. Just hoping that all is OK at the scan.

Looking forward to Xmas, should be nice having family around, they don't know yet and i would like to wait till after the scan but dh wants to tell them at Xmas, only my mum knows so far and a couple of friends. Yeah dh is coming to the scan, he is very supportive. 

Still keeping everything crossed that you ovulate. Have a lovely time over Xmas, hope you get spoilt.x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks, think I'll give dr a bell tomorrow and see if they can put a form in for me. Have had a bit of cm today so fingers crossed might just be running a bit late! Have def had the same symptoms this month but don't think have been as severe but don't know it that's just that have been too busy to notice.

Sure everything will be ok at the scan, I wonder what you'll be able to make out at 7weeks? Bet everyone will be made up if when you do decide to tell them.

Have a fab Christmas too and make sure you get spoilt and looked after too xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

How did you get on with the doctor, are they adding the tyroid blood test on?

Any more cm/ signs of ovulation?

Got everything crossed for you. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi couldn't get through to my dr to get them to add it on but the receptionist did change my app to thurs. Got a line on the opk yesterday it wasn't strong enough to count as a positive as was slightly lighter than the control line but it's the first time I've got anything so really pleased!

How are you? 
Merry Christmas xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah congratulations, fantastic Christmas present, hopefully its just because it was starting, hopefully peak tonight, plenty of Christmas loving for you and hubby. X x 

I'm good prepping the food for tomorrow and watching soppy Christmas movies, actually starting to get in the spirit.

Your news made me smile, so pleased you saw a line. Good luck really hope it works out. X x

Have a lovely day to morrow. X merry Christmas. X


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey shelbel, 

Hope you had a great Christmas and enjoyed your day in London. Hope you were spoilt and got everything you wantd.  I had a lovely Christmas too, too much food as always. I got some nice presents and we played lots of games so that was fun.

Had the 7 week scan Yesterday, was only a little blurrey blob but still amazing. It had a heart beat and measured a day bigger than I am so that's good. Can't wait till the 12 week one when it looks like a baby. Dh was cute, she said it was 14mm and i saw him working it out between 2 fingers.

Good luck with the blood test this morning, got everything crossed for you to have ovulated, although a line on the opk was a good sign.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

So pleased to hear your scan went well. Does it seem more real now? That's real sweet with your dh reaction altho must say did the dame thing lol

I'm ok apart from being ill all Christmas and my mum being admitted to hospital, so not the best Christmas and didn't manage to get to London. Had blood test today tho and they added the thyroid on so should get the results next week. Unfortunately tho af is due next week so means another month on the 50mg as not back at consultant til 11th but can't be helped. Must say this cycle has flown by.

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I'm so sorry to hear you had a rubish Christmas. Is your mum OK? Are you feeling better?

Glad you got the thyroid added onto the blood test that was good, fingers crossed for good results next week. How are you feeling about this 2ww, do you know when you may do a PG test? Try and hold out for at least the 14 days. Really hoping you get good news, you deserve some after christmas.

I have started in the office this week. I am definately out of my comfort zone in an office environment but think once they give me some jobs I'll get used to it, yesterday I had one job that lasted an hour so spent most of the day sitting around chatting. Time goes much slower than on the aeroplane where we are constantly against the clock to get everything done.

Are you doing anything for new year? We are just having a take away and games night with some friends. Think we are past going out into packed bars/clubs at new year lol.

Happy new year, hope its a good one. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi
Mum came out of hospital today so that's good. Starting to feel a bit better but dh is suffering now! So it's a quiet night in for us tonight with the xbox and kinect, which is a shame as a few of our mates were having house parties but I'm sure we will still have a good night.

If af doesnt turn up on wed I will test then but pretty sure it will be as getting the premenstral aches and pains! Just such a shame will be another 50mg dose as week before see consultant. Must say am lot more relaxed this time.

Must be hard having to contended with a new type of work as well as being pg! I like to be busy too so sympathise with you. Are you going to watch the new series of one born every minute next week or will it freak you out?! Lol 

Happy new year to you and wishing you a fabulous 2012 - the year you become a mummy! Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Happy new year back to you, not a great end to 2011 with dh getting I'll too. Glad to hear your mum is out of hospital, fantastic news. 

Such a shame the consultant appointment is a week later, but glad to here your feeling more relaxed about things. Hopefully she'll increase the dose if it hasn't worked this time.

Yeah I think I'll watch one born every minute, did like it last time, will you watch it or will it be too hard? Dh has done some nice things this week since seeing the scan, although really couldn't see more than a blob it must have mad it more real. He seems excited which is great as a few years ago he wasnt sure he wanted kids.

Really hope you get your bfp on Wednesday and not your af, would be an amazing start to 2012 and hopefully the year you become a mum too. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi 

How are you? Just a quick message to say hi as I am on my mobile unfortunately writing this from a hospital bed  the Abdominal pain got real bad again so in for tests and scans Inc checking re ectopic pregnancy.

Hope everything is well with you xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh my god, I hope your OK, can't believe I have only just Seen your message. Please keep me updated if you can on how things are going. 

Everything is fine my end.

Hope you get better quickly and its nothing too serious. Sending you big hugs. X x x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey

Still in hospital got scan this morning. The blood test came back neg so at least not ectopic preg. Think it's looking like surgery is gonna be a must. I suppose my dh was right when he said what's the point in keep trying to get pg when the state of my bits is causing me so much pain that I'm in hospital, would i actually be able to manage a pregnancy without being in agony all the time. Just so scared the surgery will leave ivf ( if I'm lucky as my only option). Feeling very scared and bewildered at the mo.

Glad everything is progressing well for you . When is uour next scan and what is your due date? xx


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey again, just quick update they found cyst on my ovary so am booked in for surgery next fri (the 13th eek!) they have let me home until then as long as the pain doesn't get worse. Feels like all happening so fast. Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey thank you for keeping me updated. Glad it wasn't an eptopic pregnancy but not good that you have a cyst. Did they saying 12 week scan on the 30th anything about continuing on the clomid after the cyst is removed?

Hope you are OK this week waiting for the op, I am assuming its just the cyst being removed?

Your questions to me earlier my 12 week scan on the 30th and due august 11th worked out from last period. Looking forward to the scan. X

Take care and rest up. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey

Nope the surgery won't just be the cyst removal they will try and cut away the scar tissue and adhesions and have also warned me they may ave to remove one or both my tubes and/or ovaries. I only have one good ovary anyway which is the one with the cyst in so I just pray they can save that one. So so scared.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that we don't have a really hot august! Lol xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah honey no wonder your scared, I hope they can save your ovary. Will be thinking of you next Friday and have everything crossed. If they have to remove the ovary will they save your eggs do you know?

Going to be a long week waiting for that. I wish I could say something reassuring. Big hugs and positive thoughts for you. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Thanks Hun. Don't think they have facilities for saving eggs at the hospital but will ask on wed at my pre op. Feeling all sorts of emotions but think just want it done now so I know what the result is and can start to come to terms with whatever that may be!

How are you feeling?

X


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

I hope that everything goes well on Friday, I guess there's not much you can do than accept that what will be will be. This isn't the start to the year you would have expected. 
Are you still meeting your consultant this week, do you have an appointment wed with him? 
Keep me posted on everything, I really feel for you.
Hows the pain at the moment? Has it eased at all?

Keep strong and positive. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Yep I'm seeing him tomorrow still. Think I will relax a bit once I have seen him and go through the details for Friday as it doesn't seem quite real at the moment and worried they will say someone more urgent has come up. 

Pain is still there but as at least eased a bit.

xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Just wanted to wish you luck for today, hope you get some positive responses and are more relaxed for friday,. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

What a day! Got to the hospital and the ward hadn't booked me in for the op dispite telling me they had it all sorted before they discharge me next week. The consultant said he would squeeze me in his theatre list but the sister then said it couldn't go ahead because it was too short notice to secure a bed and get all the tests done. Well I lost it with them! They didn't even have my notes so couldn't see what had been promised to me and that most of the tests od already had while I was in hospital.I shouldn't have been surprised really cause that place is shocking! Anyway after many tears and complaining that I can't manage the pain any longer and not fair to tell someone they are having a op so they get mentally and work prepared etc and then just say not doing it, they managed to get me in. As I left though the sister said to me just remember though anyone can get cancelled on the day though if there's not enough beds so still don't feel confident it will happen! Really worries me that these people will be responsible for my health and future fertility once I'm under and I really don't trust any of them apart from my consultant. Sorry for the long rant but have been so anxious and upset from it all! Think cause I'm still in pain every day I'm just depending on it all being sorted Friday. 

How's things your end? Any new developments or cravings? Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Gosh no wonder you broke down, they can't mess people around like that especially with such life changing procedures, like you say you need to mentally prepared. That sister sounds like a *****, lets hope she has a day off on Friday. Was the consultant appointment any better, did he give you any hope that they will save your ovary, did you ask about egg collection if they can't?  

I really hope it all goes to plan on Friday and you get the op, can't imagine how devasting it would be not to have it once you get there.

Big hugs


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Bugger! completely forgot about the egg collection as was in such a state! Consultant was wonderful as always, he said he won't go in with the intention of removing anything, his intention will be to preserve, but if there is anything that has no chance of working or is doing more harm than good by remaining he will have to remove it. 

I'm getting so worked up today about whether its going to happen or not! suppose its taking my mind of the actual operation! 

xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Good luck honey, sounds like your consultant has your best interest in mind. I'm sure it will go ahead, that nurse just seemed a *****. Stay positive. Will be thinking of you. X x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Thinking of you. Hope today was OK. X x x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey 
It went ok I think thanks not seem
Dr yet but nurse seems to think went well. In a lot of pain with the wound site but guess that's just to be expected. Had epidural as well as a general too, god that was an eye opener! 

How's things withyou?

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Sorry to hear your in pain, but understandable as you have had an operation. Fingers crossed the nurses are correct and all went well. How long do you think you will be  in hospital?

So the epidural, would you not recommend them? Was it painful?

Everything is OK still with me, nothing to tell. Just impatient want to get to the scan and check its growing and healthy. That's on the 30th so 2 weeks to go.

Hope the pain eases soon and you get home to start trying again. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey how are you?

I'm sat waiting to be discharged so going home soon! Yay! Had to stay in a little longer as got a mild infection. 

Saw consultant yesterday and he was very positive and felt it went well and I have a better chance of conciving with the clomid now. He did warn that it could all just stick together again but they've done eveything they can to prevent that. Just gotta rest for next 6 weeks and then discuss going back on the clOmid once fully healed. Will be weird not ttc for a while!

The epidural was awful but I have since found out they really struggled with mine and it took massively longer than normal so I think they probably are ok if your one of the majority where it goes well! Lol

I'd be so impatient waiting for all the scans. There's a company near us that do all different kind of scans privately throughout pregnancy and I bet at some point in the first 12 weeks I'd end up paying the £80 for a reassurance scan especially if anything went wrong as my hospital has really long scan wait times. Are you starting to feel pregnant now? And settling into the office work?

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Great news that your being discharged. Hope you got home safely. 

Fantastic news that the ovary was saved and that he thinks you'll have a better chance of success too. Its going to be a long 6 weeks wait. Do you have an appointment in the 6 weeks to see him to discuss the clomid?

Your not the first to have a bad experience with an epidural, my friend was paralised for a week when she had one so definately not first on my list of pain relief if i don't need to. Obviously if I didn't have a choice or I couldn't cope I would.

I just need to be patient can't justify the money but would put my mind at ease. Less than 2 weeks to wait now. Still no classic symptoms, just tiredness. Everyone says I'm lucky but at least the sickness is a sign.

Settling into the office, my boss is a bit Jekyll and Hyde. Had a disagreement friday morning and Friday afternoon I got an email thanking me for my work. Can't win. 

Are you signed off work for a while?

Hope you have a good recovery without to much discomfort. X x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey shelbel. I hope your OK and recovering. Let me know how your doing.

I hope everything's going well. Thinking of you. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

How are you? I'm still feeling a bit rough and a section of my scar came open at the weekend so feeling a bit fed up. I'm off work for around 6 weeks so going stir crazy! Back at my consultant on 22nd February which hopefully should be just before af (that's if the op hasn't messed my cycle up). Although to say I'm not on clomid have had quite a few ov signs so maybe i managed it on my own this month - typical when can't have bms! Lol

Bet your counting down the days to your scan now, let me know how it goes. I've known quite a few people who haven't had the sickness in too although some have then had it later on so I'd say enjoy it as it might not last! 

Take care xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey shelbel, your not having much luck lately are you, can't believe your scar opened. 6 weeks off work wow didn't realise you would be off for the whole time. You'll either be pulling your hair out with bordom af you'll love it and find you don't want to go back to work.

Good that your having ovulation sign but sad you can't put them to good use. Hopefully it will mean that when you can everything has kick started and you'll have a good chance.

Yeah counting down the days, still seems so far away but hopefully Monday will come quickly. Still no sickness, but can't stand the smell of coffee or nasty smells like cigarettes and dogs so that's definately symptoms.

Hope you have a better week and don't feel so fed up. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Yep 6 weeks! Altho must admit I'm starting to enjoy being off work this week but will probably start doing some bits from home in a few weeks. Have had some aches and pains this week and some really strange things (swollen Tongue and achey neck??!!) but generally feeling lot better than last week. Just want to get ttc again! 

Bet it's dragging until Monday for you! Hope everything goes well and you get a good look at your little one! Let me know how it goes xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Swollen tounge  and neck doesn't sound nice, sounds like anaphalactic shock, maybe an allergic reaction to the medication?
Glad your feeling better this week, slowly recovering. I'm sure the 6 weeks will fly by, especially if you start enjoying being off work, you'll be back there in no time. At least that will mean you'll be back ttc. 
Any more sign that you ovulated naturally this week like you were thinking?? Would be good if this procedure has kick started your ovary.

Monday is coming round slowly, very anxious that everything will be OK, excited and scared all at the same time. Will let you know on Monday how it goes.

Hope you continue getting better with little pain. I'm sure you did before but if your tounge swells again make sure you get checked over.

Take care. X


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey scan was lovely. It has 2 arms, 2 legs a head a body and a heart beat. Was really lovely to see. Glad I have picture evidence as i was worrying it in my imagination. 

How are things with you? Are you feeling any better yet?
Are you used to being of work yet?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Ha ha! Bless you! Were you dates and everything as expected? So glad to hear it went well, was your dh able to go with you? Hope you feel more relaxed now around the 12 week point. Have you started buying anything yet? 

I'm feeling a lot better this week. We saw some old friends at the weekend and that really lifted me. I'm starting to get used to being off work and am quite shocked at how much less stressed and more relaxed I am. Has really made me start to re evaluate things and what's important especially if we do manage to have a baby - yes I get a very nice salarly for my age but I really hadn't realised how stressed it was making me until been able to have this step back so who knows?! Lol Getting very impatient on the ttc front at the mo - just feels like wasted prime time! Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Yeah I bet your getting frustrated. Especially if your all relaxed for a change. How long have you got left to wait? Glad your feeling much better and enjoying being off work. 

Do feel more relaxed now I'm at 12 weeks and that I have seen its all real, I did get so lucky and it just seemed too good to be true. Its amazing. Dates were 1 day out from my original estimated but the same as the 7 week scan so baby due 10th august. Not bought anything yet, still feels too early but started looking.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

I'm meant to wait until my follow up at the end of feb but it seems to be because of the blanket advice to not have sex for 6 weeks after the op. But I actually feel a lot better now and af is due next week so might give clinic a ring and see what they think. 

You deserve that you got lucky so soon! Have you got any inklings what you might be having? For what it's worth I think your having a girl! lol xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah yeah if af is due then definately worth ringing the clinic to see if you can start at least having sex even nif they advise no clomid this cycle. Be amazing if it all happened without help too.

I know that I got so lucky and sometimes feel guilty that it was so easy. As far as an inckling as to what it will be I came home from the scan and was saying she, but found myself calling it him today. Its strange really always wanted a boy first but now I just don't care.

Hope the clinic allow you to start bms. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

You shouldn't feel guilty ever! You deserve it having known what it feels like to worry you might never be able to. are you still feeling really tired? 

I haven't been able to get through to clinic yet and af came on sat so def no clomid for me but def want to have a go naturally this month especially as the clomid didn't really improve my progestrone bloods anyway so feel I stand as much of a chance on my own. 

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah I will keep everything crossed that you get lucky naturally this month. That would be amazing. It would be so lovely if all this has kick started your ovaries. Are you going to take your bbt or ovulation tests?

The tiredness is starting to ease, I am not having so many afternoon naps or early nights, although every now and then it gets me.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yep that would be amazing! Can't say I'm looking forward to going back on clomid! Started noticing more cm yesterday (cd10) so started opk's. Not going to bother with bbt this month as the time I'm waking is varying so significantly with being off work ( code for I'm being a lazy cow and having lots of lie ins! Lol)

Glad the tiredness is going for you. That's the bit I'm dreading if I do ever get pg because I wouldn't want to tell many people for first 12weeks ,especially work,  but then think it'd be so hard to manage and hide as I hear that's when it's worse. Have you told everyone now you've had your scan? Are you starting to show at all? X


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey shelbel, thought I had replied to this but appears I prop didn't press post. 

Any positive opks yet? I really have everything crossed that you get a little miracle this month. You've been through so much heart ache and pain, you really deserve some good luck. 

Yes everyone knows now, my mum made sure of that bless her. Getting a tiny lettle belly on me, not enough to tell I'm PG, more that I just look like I'm putting on weight. Jeans are tight so I'm sure it will just pop out any time soon. Tierdness is terrible in the first 12 weeks, hopefully this is all you will get and that's easier to discuise than sickness for sure. Tiredness can just be put down to many things like being run down or not sleeping, where as sickness is much harder to make excuses for. 

Hope your cycles going to plan. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

I got positive opk's on we'd and thurs. Was bit worried tho as had smear on weds but they said they'd use my preseed instead of their lube so at least they'd be nothing to harm sperm when started bms. Actually got quite excited as was the strongest positives I've every had. Would be so amazing if it happened off clomid. Seeing my consultant this week so sure he will prescribe some more but hopefully won't need it x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah that's great news, keep well rested, no exersion. Also put the hot water bottle on your belly for the next 2 weeks. Drink a glass of pineapple juice, not from concentrate, every day. Also I took vitamin b6, I had read it was good then i move on to prenatel vitamins after my positive. Its go to be worth trying everything. 

Will be keeping everything crossed for you.

I have my 16 week midwife appointment on the 29th, can't wait, will hopefully hear the babies heartbeat. That will be amazing.

Its going to be along 2 weeks wait for you but hopefully will be worth it. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Yep thik its going to be a long 2ww! Thanks will definitely give all that a go ( must be desperate for me to drink pineapple juice!) had my appointment today with the consultant and he has given me 3 months of clomid at 100mg and said if that doesn't work will trynanother drug and back to see him in June. He was also concerned about my Tongue swelling and tiredness so wants me to be revered to an immunologist whatever one of those is.

Bet that will be so exciting for you! How often do you get to see your midwife etc? And when do you start antenatal classes? to say I know so much about fertility and getting pregnant, I know shockingly little about being pregnant! lol. Have you decided where you will have your babu? 

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

If you don't like pineapple don't drink it lol. That's positive that they gave you 3 months of 100mg. I'm glad your consultant is staying positive that clomid isnt the end of the line. I still have everything crossed that it all happens for you naturally. Not heard of an immunologist but sounds interesting. This consultant seems very good, I think a lot just brush things off, but at least he's proactive.

You see the midwife at regular intervals through the pregnancy and along with scans your seen roughly every 4 weeks. Been looking into antenatal classes, starting aquanatal when I'm 20 weeks (4 weeks time). Then I think normal antenatal classes start when your 24 weeks plus depending on courses. I'm sure you'll be like me and read everything you can when you get PG. I'm always happy to answer questions too. I will have the baby at the hospital but the have a midwife led unit which is more like home and all have pools, I would like a water birth. They look very relaxed. 

When you planning on testing? Next Thursday or are you wanting to leave it longer?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi 

Yep he's fantastic just hope I get a bfp before he retires. Feeling really sick and tired past few days but trying not to read too much into it as still got 1 week of 2ww left. Will try and hold off testing as long as poss.

That's good that youve got a midwife led unit at the hospital, our midwife led unit is a 45-60 mon drive to the nearest proper hospital so think I'd be too anxious. Would like to try water birth too as I'm happiest in water, generally think I'd be a bit f a wimp tho! Lol 

Hope your appointment on wed goes well x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Hey shelbel, hope things are going well for you.. have you tested yet? I have everything crossed for you.  

My appointment went well was lovely to hear the heart beat, although had to beg her to try as she said they don't do it till 25 weeks now, but as my workmates had there's at 16 I didn't want to wait.

Hope you are kepping well. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hey 

Glad your appointment went well. That seems a but wrong that they don't listen until then, its not exactly difficult but gives such reassurance. Do you have the date for your next scan? 

As for me, no need to test as af arrived this morning a day early. Had got my hopes up a bit as have felt so nauseous and tired for about a week and I never feel sick. But hey ho back on the clomid tomorrow and let's see what the 100 mg can do! Thinking positive if it happens in march will be due just before Christmas which would be lovely. 

Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Ah I'm so sorry, had hopes that you'd finally get lucky. Lets hope the 100mg does the trick. Just before Xmas would be the best present ever. 

I know not listening till 25 weeks seems ridiculous. If she hadn't done it I would have got my midwife friend to listen but dh had worked from home so he could come with me to listen as well. 

Got my scan on the 27th although may change date if dh cant com and then I will take my mum. 

Do you have any holidays coming up at all to look forward to?


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Yep I was really hopeful too, just felt different, but never mind. Havent noticed any difference in sideeffects from taking 100mg apart from the emotional side - just keep bursting into tears but dh is being brilliant.

We are hoping to get away but we haventgot anything booked yet as its hard to know what to do in case I do get pg with flying, vacinations andinsurance etc. But guess in a way putting my life on hold like that is making the disappointment worse each time. Do you think you will get away before little one arrives?

x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Sorry to hear your over emotional from the clomid, lets hope its just for a few days. Glad your dh is being supportive, do you feel its brought you closer going through everything the last few months.

I would plan to go away, flying when pregnantisnt an issue until 28 weeks, the first 12 are just not great if your being unwell. Maybe look at somewhere like Europe where flights aren't too long and no jabs needed, that way it won't be an issue when you get PG. Also give you something new to focus on.

We are going away the end of April but nothing booked yet. I get a free flight so we never rush to book. We are thinking Spain or the canary islands as they will be cheap and cheerful. We were thinking of new York or Florida but don't think i could justify spending so much.

Hope your tablets don't give you any worse side effects this time. Good luck with the bms too, hope you get lots. X


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Yep it has definitely made me us closer cause I've had to rely on him a lot more and usually so independent. He is still extremely laid back about the whole ttc which frustrates me at times but I guess that's a man thing to a degree and it's probably easier o be laid back about it all when your not the one have to have the operations, tests and hormones etc! Lol

Yeah I think I will look around Europe somewhere so the european health card applies as think I will really struggle to get properly insured having recently had surgery and 3 emergency admissions and being on fertility drugs - I know it used o cost me a fortune before all that! Canary islands shold be nice in april. we were meant to be young to the middle east in April but we decided against for various reasons one of which is that I've decided to look into teaching as a career change so I'm ion to be doing some work experience now in April. How's your work going now? Have you settled into the office role?

Take care x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

oh gosh i didnt realise i hadnt replied to the last message, that was weeks ago.

How is the clomid going this time? i hope your well and not had many side effects. 

Have you decided on a holiday destination. i really need to make a decision on where/ when we are going. or if we arent going anywhere. 

Everything is still going well my end, got a scan next week, will be great to see the little one again.

The office is ok, somedays are better than others. Thre is a lot of sitting around waiting for jobs as there is more of us than they are used to.


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi

Glad to hear your ok

Clomid has been ok - not noticed massive change now on 100mg - still some hot flushes and mood swings. On my 2ww now which I find the worst bit by far. Think I ov'd last thurs or fri. Still reading stuff into the smallest things - this month its a sore bumpy nipple! Lol

Not sure what we are doing bout holiday yet as really stressed and fed up at work so seriously considering career change which will mean retraining and big pay cut.

Are you showing properly now? Bet your scan will be really exciting Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

hey shelbel, 

Glad to hear  the extra clomid hasn't given you any trouble.  I really feel for you having to have the 2ww, its quite stressful, but you just need to stay positive that this is your month. I will keep everything crossed for you. x

You said before about retraining to become a teacher, its a big thing to do to retrain but would be very rewarding.

We still haven't made a decision about a holiday and my leave is in 3 weeks so really should make a decision very soon or i will just be sitting at home wishing i had done something.

2 days to go till the scan, very excited to see it again. getting a little belly, but when I'm sitting down still looks like i could just  be fat but i guess it will really start to grow from now. My uniform is starting to get tight, my skirt is unzipped, so i will need to wear the maternity uniform. Its like a pinafore from little house on the prairie, very old fashioned and unflattering, been holding out as long as i can before wearing it.

Hope your 2ww ends well. x
Keep me informed. x


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Just thought I would let you know, the scan went very well. The sonographer said I had a very well behaved baby as it stayed in the correct position for the whole time and even so a trainee could have a turn. They checked all the measurements and said its all normal. The heart had 4 section and you see the blood flow. And the kidneys were good. It was very interesting although dh thought it was the same as the previous scan.
We still don't know the sex as its policy they don't tell. I thought I saw some balls but keep calling the baby she since the scan so really don't know what I will have.

Hope all is well with you. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi 

So pleased your scan went well, it all seems to be flying by for you.

Just a quick post from me as I'm on my phone as unfortunately I'm back in hopsital - have a 5.5cm cyst and in a lot of pain. They'd normally operate on that size but because its my only good ovary they are holding off as would quite possibly have to remove it. However is also risk it is twisting on itself and could cut off blood supply to ovary and kill it off so it really is a waiting game. Af is due fri and I'm an emotional wreck at the moment can't stop crying!

Take care xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Oh gosh, your really not having a good time. Can't believe you have another cyst. Will keep everything crossed that you don't get your af and also that the cyst doesnt twist. Its so unfair that the has happened again.

Keep strong and  keep me informed how it all goes. 

Sending you big hugs and lots of love. X x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi 

Sorry for late reply, Hope you are all well though. How's things progressing with you? 

I got out yesterday and have had a really crappy few weeks. They found a cysts on my ovary again and were going to operate and then they werent and then they were etc etc! In the end they didn't and did an MRI scan instead ( the mst traumatic experience of my life!) as well as the cyst the found I've got degeneration of the spine and a prolapsed disc. Cycle wise things haven't been great either my progesterone was only 26 on the double dose of clomid which is exactly the same as I manage on my own and with the 50mg. I'm really starting to wonder why I am taking this horrible tablet that makes me feel so hormonal etc when ts not achieving anymore than I can do myself?! My af arrived inbetween and was only 2 day and really horrible with massive clots (sorry tmi!). I'm feeling the lowest I've ever felt and just can't stop crying, really feel like I'm losing my mind! Anyway I'll shut up now and stop spreading my misery! 

Hope you have a fab Easter break xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

feel free to moan as much as you like on here. you definately don't seem to be having any luck lately. 

Have you seen the consultant again? has he suggested anything else you could try. There are girl at 2 work that clomid didn't work for and they tried another tablet and then injections, 1 it worked for and 1 needed ivf. Don't give up hope yet, there's more things they can try I'm sure.

life is so unfair, please keep strong, which i know i easy for me to say. 

what's happening with your spine? is it something they can fix?


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

hey honey, how are things now? have you seen the consultant again?

really wish there was something i could say or do to make this better but there isn't  

Sending you big hugs. x x


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## shelbel (Feb 9, 2011)

Hi Hun

Sorry for the late reply but have been a bit of a recluse the past few weeks! I'm a bit up and down to be honest, got a lot of other stuff as well as ttc going on. I have a scan on sat to see what is happening with the cyst, then seeing cons on 9th may to see if need to come of the clomid permanently ( he said to to take for my next cycle on Friday) typical though as it finally seems to have started to work as my progesterone was 43 this time and never managed more than 29 before but we didn't get much bms in cause hubby had bad back! I'm seeing the back specialist next week so will see what they have to say.

How are you doing? Is it flying by or dragging? When do you start your mat leave? Xx


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## merewyn (Jul 4, 2011)

Im sorry to hear your having a hard time of it lately. How did th scan go? Good news that your hormone level finaly rose, fingers crossed you get lucky this month. If he does take you off the clomid, hopefully he will replace it with something different so you still have options. 
Also good luck with the back spcialist, hope there is help for that?  hope dh back is better now too.
Everything is going well with the pregnancy but my grandma passed away the other week so been very sad lately, had 2 weeks leave but its flown by sorting grandmas belongings, the funeral and being in shock,. she was 86 and in pain so its probably for the best. 
Dh mums cancer is getting worse, she starts her final chemo next week so think it will be a tough year with regards to that, this is her last treatment so after that its a waiting game.

Let me know how all the appointments go. Really hope someting goes your way. x x


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