# Newbie-where to start



## todymom (Jan 30, 2015)

This is the first time I've written a post. I have two questions.  

1.  I just turned 41, have had three miscarriages in the last 4 years.  Tests done have shown that 1 was Trisomy 13, other 2 were healthy.  All lost at 10 weeks.  Drs said it was age related, my eggs must be too old.  I haven't tried IVF, but they said no point, use DE.  Should we try OE IVF first or follow their advice?

2. My husband and I are looking at fertility clinics abroad mostly due to financial reasons, but recently a friend said that a baby wouldn't look like us if we go to a Eastern European city for a donor. Is this the case?

I'm sorry I don't know all the short cuts/acronyms.  I must find a glossary!
Many thanks, Amy


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## 2Buttons (Jul 11, 2012)

Hi Todymom, sorry for your losses   I'll try to help but brief also so forgive any bluntness ...

Fact: nothing improves IVF chances like young donor eggs ;
So if u want that baby as fast as possible and believe MCs are egg related then, honestly, my advice is not too wait and do DE (maybe do the counselling session for it and decide after?)

Ignore the x1 trisomy case, that's definitely a random event, I had a tri 11 MC. The other 2 lost at 10 wks, when did u find out? At 10 wks or 12 wk scan? ... 10wks is when the placenta starts to take over and could indicate clotting or immune factors - you may want to test first or just take clexane as a precaution. If immune system do the tests first and they'll determine the right drugs if any.

Sperm would appear to be ok. We used DS from Canada but with western European origins but donor eggs are harder to find/u get less info...maybe also read donor conception network website for real life stories. Personally I don't think it matters unless youre not going to tell the child (whole threads on that hot potato).

Read Agate's thread on immune system and learning from failed IVF cycle - lots of relevant info there.

Good luck on your journey


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## chooshoos (Dec 18, 2014)

hello tody

sorry to hear about your rocky journey, one thing you can be sure of you aint alone here  

I went straight to DE at 45 without trying OE as the tests and advice I got was it was about as likely as the lottery, our motivation was to start a family asap, both because of our age, but also circumstantial reasons make it the right time now. 

If I were 41 (I wish!!) I think I would be tempted to go for a OE with all the bells and whistles (tests / monitoring etc) to help them select the biggest fattest egg  with the associated acu, supplements etc. or as a second option a tandem cycle with DE. 

I see money is a concern for you so you have to throw that in to the equation as DE can have a success rate  3 or 4 times (maybe higher) than OE.

In terms of looking like you, thats no always guarenteed in OE to be honest, but obviously its vastly more likely. You work with your clinic to select a donor with a range of characteristics - such as eye colour, height, hair colour, skin colouring etc. while they are unlikely to find you doppleganger but DE mixed with DP's sperm (I assume) you will create a child who is yours alone, and exactly themselves...

Good Luck!
X


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## Guest (Oct 9, 2015)

Hi I'm very sorry for your MCs also, I've had 4 also for a mixture of reasons, incl 1 T18. Have you heard of tandem cycles where you have the backup of donor eggs if none of your own are any good? This is only available abroad though, but often IVF abroad works out cheaper. And pre genetic screening of embryos (PGS) to check for chromosome abnormalities? It may be worth having investigatory blood tests done too (maybe level 1&2 to incl immune factors - see relevant threads on here). Wishing you all the best and hope you get all the info you need. If you read the 40+ success stories thread on here it might also encourage you   X


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## Victoria38 (Apr 17, 2015)

Hi Todymom,

So sorry for your losses  

You're in a similar position to me, I had 3 early miscarriages, I'm the same age as you. I did give IVF 1 go with my own eggs this year but because my egg reserves was so low I didn't make it to egg collection, my treatment was cancelled due to a very poor response, I was so disappointed my heart was broken. When it comes to making a healthy baby AGE really is key so we are going threw the ED process at the moment, they match you up with a photo and characteristics, you just have to trust your clinic. 

I agree with what Merlin said, you could consider a tandem cycle. IVF is a huge emotional investment, it would be devastating to go threw all the injections and then have nothing to transfer. Find out your ovarian reserves and this will give you a better idea about your own eggs. Make sure you rule out any underlying problems before starting treatment.

The odds of me having a healthy baby with my eggs is about 1-2% with using ED I now have a 64% chance!

Good luck whatever you decide Xx


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

I would find out what your AMH, FSH, LH & AFC results are and take it from there as if those things all check out you may well need to look at immune therapies to sustain the pregnancy.

I was 40.5 when I started with OE and was lucky enough to have an egg split (ironically prob considered a bad quality egg) that resulted in my twins so it's not set in stone how it can go x


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## todymom (Jan 30, 2015)

Oh wow, it's like reading a different language, I have a LOT to learn here!!!

Firstly, thanks for your concern about my losses, that actually meant a lot to me.  

To answer some of the questions:

I did have tests done at the Royal London Hospital (miscarriage clinic) and Bart's Hospital.  They didn't find anything with me or my husband.  The doctor at the miscarriage clinic said I should use a medication and aspirin if I ever get pregnant again. I can't remember the name of the medication, but he said there was no evidence that it even works, but I should try it.  I'll have to find the letter.

We were happy to adopt, however, the local councils said our flat isn't big enough.  

I started bleeding each time at 10 weeks so knew I was having another miscarriage.  So devastating.  My sister has had a miscarriage and a stillborn so we have both had a difficult time.  

I don't know anything about IVF/DE, I definitely will read about tandem cycles, I didn't know there was such a thing, sounds promising.  

What is the success rates of OE or DE?

Maybe I ought to ask the GP if I've had these blood tests already, I don't know my egg reserves at all.  Or results of AMH/FSH/LH/AFC results.  Wow, so much to find out!

Thank-you so very much for educating me, this is a whole new world for me.  The one thing I need to do is to ensure I have some self-protection, the 3 miscarriages were so very draining, amongst other emotions.
x


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

The ten week loss mark is interesting for you as that is when the placenta kicks in so "possibly" that is where your issue lies and could be a good place to start researching what can be done? There is an excellent resource for all things immune related on the main page of the boards definately a good place to start x


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