# On being an apple shape and looking pregnant when you're not



## faithhopelove

Ok so, not sure if this is the best place to post this, but here goes. So I have what they usually call an apple shaped figure, which means when I put on weight, most of it goes around my middle. (As fellow 'apples' will know all too well.) Making it look for all the world like I have a several-month bump. Which of course i'd really like to but don't, and may need ivf to make it happen. 

I'm really not overweight, and some parts of me are actually relatively slim, but that's what makes me look all the more pregnant, ie it's disproportionate. Of course it would help to lose a bit, and it hasn't helped not being able to exercise since Christmas because of my laparoscopy.

Basically i'm just a bit fed up with it and with having to think so carefully about what to wear all the time. I'm almost tempted to try maternity clothes... but that might look even more suspicious! 

So, just looking for sympathy from fellow apples, and maybe we can swap clothes tips too!  

Oh yes the other thing is that DH is, if anything, underweight, making it tricky to find meals that are good for both of us...


----------



## the_tempress89

hi  im not sure if im an apple figure but my tummy always sticks out, i had alot of surgery a few years back and its left my tummy looking swollen, i hate it because like u it makes me look pregnant and i keep getting customers in my work ( and my new manager!) asking when im due and congratulating me! its so upsetting and i try to laugh it off because its not their fault and there embarrassment is very clear when i tell them im not. just try to keep a smile on your face because one day, someone is going to comment and u will be able to say thanx yes im pg im due ..... and it will have all been worth it  xxx


----------



## mandimoo

Oh I am sooo with you on this one!  Im the dreaded apple shape too.    I notice even Gok Wan shied away from promising to make anyone with this shape rock. 

I have great legs, fair arms (a bit bingo wingy due to age), slim face and 34F bra, no ****   whatsoever,  but am carrying about 1.1/2 stone of 'apple'. 

Sometimes I cry if I have to go out, I look awful in anything 'dressy'.    God help me if I get pregnant, although I hope my bump will grow into the space I already made for it!  

I defo have to have IVF to get pregnant, with one tube completely blocked and the other lost with ectopic.  My DH is on the slim side too. ... Did I actually start this post myself!?  

The best dressing tip I can offer is wide legged trousers with slim fitting top.  I think I look half ok in my pj's.  

I dont have much sympathy left after Ive finished feeling sorry for myself, but you can have whats left   

ps.  I am smiling    But I do have every empathy for you


----------



## faithhopelove

Hooray, I'm not alone!  The_temptress, that must be really annoying knowing that your tummy's caused by surgery. Gutting that people actually come and congratulate you. :-( That happened to me for the first time at the weekend. Someone I know but hadn't seen for a bit. And a slightly older (50s) married lady without children so she may well have gone through infertility issues herself, so probably felt really bad. She couldn't believe she was wrong at first! Said Well maybe it's time... (trying to cover her embarrassment...). She's a fairly direct person though.

You're right, one day i'll actually be able to respond happily! Hard to imagine though at the mo. The other horrible one which happened twice was when AF had just come and I was getting all the horrible dizziness and other symptoms that endometriosis gave me (until it was removed during my lap!) and someone asked if I was pregnant.:-( The very worst time to ask, ie when the lovely AF has just let you know that once again you most definitely aren't...

Mandimoo - thanks for the sympathy and empathy! Wow, I didn't know that about Gok Wan - that says something!! 

Funny that your DH is slim too. Same for my parents as well!

Yes wide trousers are good. Although I like very slim ones IF what I wear on top is really floaty or whatever, since, like you, I have fairly slim legs so it's nice to show them off occasionally, but not if they make the tummy bulge more evident!

I actually had a session with a kind of image consultant a few years ago (but the 'bump' is bigger than it was then) and she was kind enough never to actually mention the stomach, but did recommend wide trousers as well as things like short cardigans - the kind which go to just below the bust. 

One of my problems is I don't like getting rid of things, so keep wanting to wear things that were fine a couple of years ago but aren't really any more... I think that's partly what led to the weekend incident.

Have either of you found any shops better than others for 'apple clothes', especially tops which skim over the stomach?  
x


----------



## the_tempress89

im the same mandimoo im only like a size 12.. not skinny but not fat and i have huge boobs which i hate and i dont think that helps matters a few people have asked if its true that the milk during pregnancy is what made my boobs so big and im like um noo they are just big  its depressing


----------



## the_tempress89

pk i already posted this but doesnt seemed to have posted... one of my fav stores is new look, i swear by their jeans, i wear alot of boot cut, they fit nicely around my legs but have a slight stretch to the waist  it means i can wear them all month round,. but my biggest secret is in debenhams. you know those control pants? well i wanted to get a pair of them to wear under a dress but i didnt like any i saw, the didnt look very sexy, what  did find though was a waist clincher thing, mines is black and it sits just under my bra and goes down to my hips ( so hidden with my jeans) it doesnt have a crotch like a body suit or legs like the pant things, but it pulls my tummy in sometimes by up to about 2 inches and holds my waist in, gives me a lovely figure, i swear by it and when i bought it it only cost me a tenner  xxx


----------



## Jasmine3

OMG love this thread - I could have written all of the posts!  

3 failed IVFs and two m/cs have left my body shape completely sc&*"d !!! -I look sooooo pregnant and even have the waddle walk and the perfectly round belly - not helped by the fact that the rest of me is quite slim! - Like faithhopelove, Im a horder and cant get rid of things and keep convincing myself that one day I will get back into stuff!! I get asked when I am due all the time, and even my own sister in law rang me this week to get an update on the baby (she thought I was pregnant when she saw me in the summer but didnt like to say...!)

No real solutions Im afraid - this seasons baggy style tops only make me look & feel even bigger, there are some nice "going out" tops in M&S at the moment which seem to hide a multitude of sins!

Heres hoping that we all have reasons to celebrate our extra baggage this year - in the meantime Im praying for snow so I can hide behind big wolly jumpers! 

Love to all the lovely Apples !

Jx


----------



## Jen1883

I know how you feel. 

I am an apple shape, but also I get bloated so easiliy with my IBS so it really does look like i'm pregnant.

I also think that when people know your trying, they look at your body and the way that your acting and ALWAYS jump to conclusions!

Hope things go well for you

 jen x


----------



## mandimoo

I have a theory on this apple tendency to hoard clothes.  For me its because I struggle so much to find anything that looks ok that I just dare not throw the things I wear away.  I have a top I wear for work that literally has holes in (OMG, I cant believe I'm admitting this).  Luckily I can hide the holes with my shrug!

Another thing that seems ok for an apple is a 50's shape skirt, with a close fitting top again.


----------



## faithhopelove

Sorry for late reply on this one!



the_temptress89 said:


> ... one of my fav stores is new look, i swear by their jeans, i wear alot of boot cut, they fit nicely around my legs but have a slight stretch to the waist  it means i can wear them all month round,. but my biggest secret is in debenhams. you know those control pants? well i wanted to get a pair of them to wear under a dress but i didnt like any i saw, the didnt look very sexy, what did find though was a waist clincher thing, mines is black and it sits just under my bra and goes down to my hips ( so hidden with my jeans) it doesnt have a crotch like a body suit or legs like the pant things, but it pulls my tummy in sometimes by up to about 2 inches and holds my waist in, gives me a lovely figure, i swear by it and when i bought it it only cost me a tenner  xxx


Yeah agree about bootcut jeans. Haven't tried New Look's but Next's often not bad.

LOVING the Debenhams waist thingy suggestion! Had a quick look on their website and I think I found the sort of thing. Definitely considering getting one! I did have some of those huge tummy-flattening knickers years ago but too small now I think and not sure I've even got them any more.



Jasmine3 said:


> OMG love this thread - I could have written all of the posts!
> 
> 3 failed IVFs and two m/cs have left my body shape completely sc&*"d !!! -I look sooooo pregnant and even have the waddle walk and the perfectly round belly - not helped by the fact that the rest of me is quite slim! - Like faithhopelove, Im a horder and cant get rid of things and keep convincing myself that one day I will get back into stuff!! I get asked when I am due all the time, and even my own sister in law rang me this week to get an update on the baby (she thought I was pregnant when she saw me in the summer but didnt like to say...!)
> 
> No real solutions Im afraid - this seasons baggy style tops only make me look & feel even bigger, there are some nice "going out" tops in M&S at the moment which seem to hide a multitude of sins!
> 
> Heres hoping that we all have reasons to celebrate our extra baggage this year - in the meantime Im praying for snow so I can hide behind big wolly jumpers!
> 
> Love to all the lovely Apples !
> 
> Jx


Wow, even your SIL thought you were pg  Not nice! Big woolly jumpers = good idea!  Not liking the fact that IVF could make the belly worse... Of course pregnancy itself can and will, but hadn't thought about the IVF itself - is that because of the drugs??



Jen1883 said:


> I know how you feel.
> 
> I am an apple shape, but also I get bloated so easiliy with my IBS so it really does look like i'm pregnant.
> 
> I also think that when people know your trying, they look at your body and the way that your acting and ALWAYS jump to conclusions!
> 
> Hope things go well for you
> 
> jen x


I'm with you on the bloating! Makes it so much worse  BUT I had a lap at the end of Dec and they removed mild endo, and I definitely seem to have had less bloating this cycle which I'm so happy about! I'm thinking I probably never actually had IBS but just endo symptom, which I did wonder about.



mandimoo said:


> I have a theory on this apple tendency to hoard clothes. For me its because I struggle so much to find anything that looks ok that I just dare not throw the things I wear away. I have a top I wear for work that literally has holes in (OMG, I cant believe I'm admitting this). Luckily I can hide the holes with my shrug!
> 
> Another thing that seems ok for an apple is a 50's shape skirt, with a close fitting top again.


Yes, agreed! My other lovely body/clothing issue is that I 'glow' rather more than I'd like to (you know what they say - 'Horses sweat, man perspire and women merely glow...')  meaning I have to be careful with tops that fit closely under the arm... Much worse with certain jobs than others - fortunately I work from home nowadays so it's not so bad. Annoying for going out though - it means I basically have to go for fabrics which don't 'show' as much (which ironically are also the ones which are less breathable), and lots of sleeveless tops in the summer.

But the 50s skirt, yes, that's a good style for us apples I think.

Are any of you apple sisters trying to diet at the moment? Do you find certain foods better / worse than others when it comes to trying to shift some of the excess stomach?


----------



## Jen1883

Bread is so bad for me, I instantly have a huge belly! Also Chocolate! 
Peppermint tea helps.

I used to have a sweat problem but I've used "Driclor" deodorant for 10years! It's amazing, have you tried something like this?

xx jen xx


----------



## Jasmine3

Greetings to all the Apple Tarts!! 

faithhopelove - I have put on two stones during the last 12 months due to 3 IVFs and two m/c ....so be prepared for your body to be invaded!  

Jx


----------



## keephopestrong

Lol I guess I am too!  The amount of times, I have been asked: are you pregnant? I just say: I wish, it is just fat and smile!

I got rid of tons of clothes on ebay because although they were great for tummy, I thought: ouch, you look pregnant and that is the end of those!

Recently every lead to believe that I was with child.  My husband noticed that my tummy had rounded out and I started to feel fluttering movements that I have never experienced before.  Each time I ate or drank something sweet, they got intense and at night time too.  Hubby even took a picture of my bump and said that he noticed the change before I did. Horribly, I went out showing my bump with pride!  That was how convinced I was.  Not misplaced either because my sister who has 5 children said it definitely sounded good because she remembered those feelings too!

So I end up having a scan and find out that I am not carrying after all and my tummy probably is due to an enlarged spleen!  I cannot come up with an answer to why I still have fluttering and why I still look pregnant, especially as my eating habits have calmed down considerably.

So what was utter pleasure to feel, has turned into a nightmare of fear to what is going on!

An African spiritual sister said to Jem once: is Suzanne pregnant? Jem said, no and please don't ask because it will hurt her too much.  So what did this sister do? She said to me: you look pregnant Suzanne, are you?  When I told hubby, he was furious then said, he should have known because African people are blunt like that!!

It is ironic and grossly unfair and I am with you totally.


----------

