# ttc and feeling very alone



## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

i have a million and one things running through my head and just dont know where to start. everyday feels like a constant struggle. my partner and i have only been ttc since around February  which is not along time i know. But for me it has been some what longer. for the past 7 years i have been trying for a baby , on and off. though not with the same partner so i know the problem doesnt lie with him. whenever i start to panick or worry he says , to not stress myself out which i know is a major factor, but i just cant help it. for him its only been 8 months, for me its been 7 years, whenever i try to explain this to him though he wont listen as he doesnt like the idea that iv been here before. i guess i just need somewhere to rant it all out really, as i dont have anyone else to turn to. i got my day 21 test done and it came back fine, and my docter wont do any other tests because i havent been trying non stop for 1 year. i just feel like i am hitting a complete dead end, and the idea of having to wait another 4 months is hell. i just dont know what to do anymore. i feel like giving up al together, i dont even enjoy BD anymore as its all about the baby for me now. iv tried getting bac into enjoying it, but with every dissapointment , knocks me back down again.

sorry its so long, iv just never spoken out loud about it all to anyone else except my partner.


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## vickster_77 (Oct 18, 2011)

Hi temptress, i'm new to this site too and can sympathise with your situation. My husband was very much unphased by us not falling pregnant even after 12months, but now we've found out he has a problem with his sperm its a different situation and he's gutted about the whole thing. I think women worry far more that there is a problem when there's no hint of a BFP! I was convinced it was a problem with me too but all my tests so far have come back normal.
You don't mention using anything to pinpoint your cycles have you tried using ovulation kits or even better a clearblue fertility monitor? I know mine made me relax a bit more being able to pinpoint ovulation and at least know we were trying at the right time and then BDing at other times was more about us and not about making a baby.
Good luck hun and don't give up hope yet, i've been on other forums and seen many women get there BFP after 8month+ of trying!
Vickster x


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

hi vickster  .

than you so much for reply , it feels good knowing there is someone else out there who does know what im going through. we were tracking my cycle using those wee ovulation stick that you pee onto. at the same time we were using ov calenders on line, on pages such as askamum . after i got my 21 day test we stop using the little sticks as we knew i was fine there and have continued with 4 different websites. my cycle is generally very the same and doesnt go of track, and when it does its only by a day or two either side. 
i dont think i would normally worry as much , especially seeing as this isnt the first partner i have been ttc with, but fertility problems run in my family. i just feel sometimes like my partner doesnt seem to realise that although this is the first time for him, its been a 7 year battle with me, so i feel every negative result hit me harder, as he is still very much dont worry it will happen next month stage, where as im more like, no this is never going to happen. does this make any sence?


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## vickster_77 (Oct 18, 2011)

the_temptress89 said:


> as he is still very much dont worry it will happen next month stage, where as im more like, no this is never going to happen. does this make any sence?


It makes perfect sense to me! My husband was exactly the same right up until he got his test results back and its only now we know we've got a problem that he sympathises properly with me! I'm OK most of the month, but every AF arriving/BFN just feels like a kick in the teeth and a step further away from having a child 
I sent my hubs a link to this site to try and explain the way I was feeling and that I wasn't just being neurotic! I guess it also tells us that most men just don't think about it or let it effect them as much as we do unfortunatley!! http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/conception/prepare-for-pregnancy/a-mans-guide-to-conception-20080506-2bix.html
It must be hard also if you've got fertility problems in the family, because there will always be that what if we can't?! 
I'm at the next stage now of trying to get him to get himself checked out further by an andrologist and to start thinking about IVF, as its looking very likely we'll need it to make it happen. But that's on a whole new level of working out what's going on in his head 

/links


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

thanx for the link to the website ill get him to read over it and hopefully it will be able to mae things a bit more clearer for him that what i seem to be able to. i think im going completely mad sometimes, like recently for instance, is it just me or does EVERYONE seem to be pregnant, or just after having a baby? no matter where i turn , in life or on tv it seems to be baby baby baby, sometimes i thin mother natures trying to rub it in. of course my partner doesnt see this, maybe because men are wired differently and its a womans nature to coo over babies. i just feel like i cant remember the last time i didnt have baby on my mind, or done the BD for any other reason than making one. id love to take a holiday with him, just some time away but neithe rof us are working at the moment so thats not really an option.


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