# Trying for a sibling with DE after having a biological child from IVF treatment.



## Dolphins (Sep 29, 2011)

Hi there,

I am just wondering if there is anyone out there who is in a similar situation to me, who has been successful with IVF/ICSI treatment, but because further treatment didn't work, after use Donor Eggs now to try and conceive for a much wanted sibling for my child.

How did it make you feel, about having a child/ren that our biological yours, but now having to confront having a child/ren that are not going to be biologically your's? How did you get your head around it? And how did your other half feel? If you have got a other half that is?

And if donor conception is now in the past for you? How did you come to a decision about which clinic to choose? And did you go abroad? Or did you have tx in the UK?

Sorry for all of the questions, but I feel there is a lot to get your head around donor conception?

Many Thanks, and I shall look forward to hearing your comments. 

xx


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## Molly78 (Jul 1, 2014)

Hi - I have a DS who is 2.5 years we ve had 4 failed attempts since, trying out 5th attempt with own eggs in November then we have to decide which way to go, my husband isn’t keen on the idea of donor eggs as he thinks it is hard to explain to the child, however, I think he may come round to the idea...it’s a difficult one but I think my desire for another child and sibling for my son overrides the concerns I have. I think I would look to go aboard - possibly CZ due to cost. They’re are probably quite a lot of discussions on this in the donor egg section. Good luck with your decision xx


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## HopefulKayte (Jun 16, 2017)

Hi there,
We have one son, 4 almost 5, via OE IVF/ICSI. I thought it was hard to have him, but now comparatively that experience was a total walk in the park! We have tried for almost 4 years of treatment for his sibling. We have done... is it 5 more fresh cycles? A few FETs, and 2 donor egg cycles.
The first donor cycle was here in Canada, and was a total bust. The donor made 1 PGS normal blast, and it didn't take. I was beyond devastated, especially since the cost was the same as 2 full IVF cycles plus lawyer's fees. I felt it was a horribly sad ending and in hindsight wished we picked a different donor path, and luckily DH agreed to try again overseas, despite our debt situation. We have a lot of IVF debt, but have good secure jobs, so hope one day things will get righted again. 
We went to the Czech Republic and I was surprised and so cautiously hopeful to receive a BFP! Then after the betas doubled, I had an early m/c earlier this week. Grieving hard. No frosties.
Again I wondered if this was the end of the rope, however DH has agreed to try double donor and now I am looking to fly over again by myself in the new year if/when a match can be made.
I'm sure many wouldn't, couldn't understand our journey or choices, but from the two posts here, I think you must. It is SO hard to find women who have suffered from primary fertility, succeeded in having a child, and haven't been able (thus far) to have a second. All the women from cycle groups I knew when I was trying to have my son, who also suffered infertility, have had one or two more children since, even as infertility sufferers and as they got older, it worked. Additionally, it's hard in general, as my son is the only 'only' he knows, and it doesn't really seem to make any of us feel better to have to be the ones to soothe ourselves with the reasons having one is a blessing. I think that argument is for others who actually prefer that, lol! At the same time, I'm very grateful for my child when I consider our struggles. The niche of those who are in the same place and can understand, is small for sure.


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