# Freaking out



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Omg I'm so freaking out at the moment, high court ruling last week and the judge has adjourned until next week, wanting more info on why it's best or lo to be adopted,  I've since found out that the FC has had pressure put on her from Los sw to make a statement that she would no longer be able to have lo if the adoption doesn't go through, this seems very desperate and I'm really worried that the PO is going to be revoked, bm wants lo to stay in care so she can have contact like her other children, surly no judge in their right mind would think its the right thing to keep a lo in care rather than be adopted.


----------



## RocketJ (Mar 29, 2014)

Hi mumanddad,

I don't think I have anything really helpful to say, but couldn't read that without responding. It would seem crazy for the judge to deny this LO the permanence that adoption offers. I really hope they sort this out quickly and will be praying that the judge makes the right decision xx


----------



## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

As rocket said I can't imagine how refusing to give this child permanency is in her best interests - I hope they are just ensuring they cover everything so nothing can come back on them.

Have you contacted your MP or Martin Narey about your case - it's disgraceful it has been left hanging for so long!


----------



## bulmer (Sep 5, 2010)

I think SW may be asking FC to state they are not long term FC so that Court knows LO will have upheaval and be moved whatever happens so that BM cant argue  status quo, ie settled with current carer and is able to stay there. FC who are short term have LO place with a view to them moving on whether that it is adoption,BF or long term FC, long term FC offer permanent care til 18.  Having the current FC state they do not want to be long term FC strengthens your case, it may be that BM has asked for LO to stay there in the hope of misleading the Court that this is a possibility and SW wants to make it clear that it isn't. Long term FC is often a last resort when adoption isn't available as it doesn't offer LO any security at all - LO can move between FC throughout their childhood.  Long term FC doesn't guarantee one FC for the rest of LO childhood. Any worthwhile Judge will want permanency for a LO to offer them the security our LO's need.  Hopefully your coming to the end of a horrible waiting period and the end result will be worth itx


----------



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Bulmer- FC is refusing to say that she can't keep lo as she does want lo to move if bm gets her way, your absolutely right bm wants lo to stay with this particular FC as bm has her contact details and is in touch a lot.


----------



## bulmer (Sep 5, 2010)

The decision about whether FC would be allowed to keep LO is not up to Judge he can't specify a named FC only "long term FC" its up to SW how the care plan is put into practice. The judge would be leaving LO with a very uncertain future which is not the aim of the Court.


----------



## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

this sounds so so stressful. keeping everything crossed that this is just a bump at the end of a rocky path to your happy ending with LO xxx


----------



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Pressure has been put on FC even to the point of Los sw saying if FC doesn't agree to the statement and this all falls through that FC can explain to us why lo won't be moving to us. I just don't understand why so must emphasis is being put on to whether FC will continue to look after lo or not.


----------



## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Wow this is awful. 

Can you speak to adoption UK or get some legal advice from somewhere?!

I'm so so surprised this is happening for you & little one x


----------



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Solicitors have got back to saying they can't help us in any way there advice to go talk to our la the very people that got us in this mess


----------



## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Have you called adoption UK? They was quite useful when I was struggling with court issued an sent me some useful email attachments. 

Have BP circumstances changed at all since first order was granted?!


----------



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Littlepoppy - I'm waiting on a response from a link sent by adoption uk.
Bp situation hasn't changed bm wants lo to stay in care so she can start contact again as this is what she has with her other children through her persistence, bm has FC contact details and it touch with her a lot.

I just can't make any sense of it surly a judge won't decide it's better for lo to remain in care


----------



## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

I really can't believe this is going on and am utterly horrified that the case hasn't been given the priority and speed it should have been by the judge. Long term foster care should only be considered for an older child - for a young child or baby it would only be considered as appropriate if the child is hard to place. The legislation, case law and common sense would therefore say that adoption is the only option for your lo. I have fingers and toes crossed that the judge is just ensuring that all of the bases are more than covered so that you don't go through such a long delay when the adoption order is applied for. I'm preying you get an end to this nightmare this week. Sending you big hugs    xxx


----------



## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

I'm so sorry to read this - it's completely disgraceful that this is happening and I am so sorry for your family and also for LO  

I hope you can get some support from somewhere: it may be worth trying to contact Martin Neary directly, even if he can't help he should be able to provide some direction.

Thinking of you all xxx


----------



## Mumanddad (Apr 6, 2014)

Who is Martin Neary


----------



## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

http://www.mnarey.co.uk/adoption-advisor.php

Ministerial adviser on adoption. The link above gives contact details and I know other people have contacted him and he has spoken to courts direct to see why delays have occurred on their cases. I think you def qualify as needing his help.

I think he used to run Barnados


----------



## Treaco (Mar 10, 2005)

Hi I can't believe everything that's happening to u just now over lo. Surely the court have to look at what's best for lo not the bm who is obviously unsuitable to care for her so why stop this lo having agood life with a lovely family. Hope it all gets sorted soon for u.xx


----------



## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Absolutely disgusting - just can't believe your family and lil one are being put through this.
Love and hugs to you all -really hope it's all resolved asap and lil one back with you.

Kiz  x


----------

