# Hi. This is my story and why I'm here....



## WannabeAmum (Oct 15, 2009)

16 years old -fall in love with gorgeous man....
18 years old - I think standing on my head afterwards will make some kind of difference.
21 years old - Take a tandem bungee jump - have my first ever migraine - diagnosed with recurring migraines
29 years old - still ttc - regular 21 day cycles you can time with a watch - approach doctor
32 years old - hsg, lap, blood tests, scans later, I am told I have unexplained infertility. Partner comes up clear with good motility.
33 years old - IUI attempt fails to take
34 years old - BFP makes it to 5 weeks and then vanishes with spotting
35 years old - 26th October 2005 -BFP makes it to 6 weeks and get a beautful first IV scan picture. 1 week later next scan reveals nothing after a little spotting.
38 years old - I have had about 9 miscarriages now.
38 years old - My doc puts me on the only beta blocker that is listed under causes of peri-menopause on many websites, to help with my migraines
38 years old - oil boiler poisons me and puts me in hospital and my periods stop dead.
38 years old - periods return but erratically. I plead with fertility clinic to help me, perhaps IVF. Am told I will be too old by the time I get off the waiting list.
39 years old - I now have hot flushes, no cycles, mood swings and allsorts. Doctors say I am in menopause.

Fertility clinic have said they can only do all the tests again to see where I am at now, so I filled eleven of those coloured tubes for them with a butterfly needle and went home with birds around my head the other day. I was put on Provera for two weeks to induce a cycle. Also advised to take Selenium, vit c, zinc, folic acid. 

I happened to fall over and graze my hand the other day. The blood barely made it out of the cut, it was that thick. Very unusual for me.

I came off the Provera and I had a couple of days of wiping with a brownish/red line on the tissue and one small clot smaller than a pea. I have to have a day 2 blood test today, but I think it's been and gone.... 

It would just be nice to talk to others, I know I am far from alone in this...   I am starting to go   over the years....I don't know how I am meant to progress now. My siblings all have children now and they know what to do. I'm just getting really lost now. I'm sorry I'm not feeling strong today and the 'empty arms' video finished me off I think. So very touching.

My heart goes out to all who share this 'boat' with me.


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

WannabeAmum and welcome to Fertility Friends 

Massive hugs to you   Have the doctors discussed any other options available to you? Obviously you will all know more when your test results come back, but there is always the option of donor eggs, not sure how you feel about this or whether it has been mentioned  I'll leave you some links shortly which may help  I am so sorry to read of your miscarriages. You've been through a lot  Have you had any recurrent miscarriage testing?

Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Investigations & Immunology ~ *CLICK HERE

*POF / Early Menopause ~ * CLICK HERE

*IVF General ~ *CLICK HERE

*Unexplained ~*CLICK HERE

*Donor sperm/eggs ~ *CLICK HERE

*Adoption & Fostering ~ *CLICK HERE

*Pregnancy loss ~ *CLICK HERE   

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx


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## WannabeAmum (Oct 15, 2009)

Wow. thx for the welcome Ceri.
The doctors have not explained my options, or rather they have said any options I take up will not be covered by NHS.

I would consider egg donation, hell yes I would. This has not been a topic of discussion yet though. Alot of the blood tests I did were for gene issues and recurrent miscarriage issues. I have not ovulated properly for about 10 years. My FSH has always been on the high side and they warned I may go into menopause early. I don't get how I went from unexplained infertility to 9 natural miscarriages though....

The links you posted look very to the point and I will definately check all of them out. Thank you so much Ceri!!


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## 39already (Apr 13, 2007)

Hi Wannabeamum,

Sorry to read about the v rough time you have had  .

You have been so incredibly patient and I think it is time to get some proper advice.  I have found my GP's to be (nice but) pretty useless in this whole business and I wasted a lot of precious time with useless waiting lists and nonsense IUI treatments.  When I finally had my one precious NHS treatment I knew that they were not giving me enough stimulation drugs and failed to press them on this which was crazy in retrospect.  I was trying not to be a "difficult" patient - nonsense.

If you had the funds I would go private if I was you, even if it is just to get the proper tests done.  I don't know much about recurrent miscarriages but I know that some clinics do the immune tests which I think is one cause of miscarriages and would be worth checking out as you can have treatment for this.  I have had treatment at the ARGC.  They are expensive but thorough. 

I think it is a bit early for the doctors to say that you are in early menopause without having the results of tests.  It sounds as if you have been a huge amount of stress in the past few years and it would be really no surprise that your whole system is out of kilter.  

There are lots of avenues yet that you can pursue and you definitely are not on your own.


Sue
x


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## pobby (Jun 2, 2005)

hello hun
Just wanted to say Hi! and pass on a    as it sounds like you have had a hell of a rough time...
I know you said you would consider Donor eggs. Maybe it is too early in your journey but maybe pop over at some point to some of the fantastic threads that cover donor eggs, So many women who now have wonderful babies after so much heartache.
wishing you lots of luck

Pobby xx


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## WannabeAmum (Oct 15, 2009)

Hi Sue,
thank you for your kind, supportive words.   I have the same opinion of my gp as it happens and do have some regrets as a result. "don't want to be a difficult patient", "they know what's possible, I don't", I am the same.....My local fertility clinic however, has always been very supportive, considering the everchanging rules of the NHS that we have all been subject to. I know almost all of the staff there and I think personally that they do what they can and that I am just a complete pain in the butt for them with my various issues. I mean, I am diagnosed as infertile, then go on to have miscarriages, all between 5 (bar one that went to 6) weeks, then boiler issue, then POF, then the migraine tablets (is it true? I've been on them a year!)....if I maybe had a few less issues.....    

Thank you for your positive words too, Pobby. It sounds a promising avenue and I will come and have a look. 

D x


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

hi hunnie

Was great chatting tonight  

Catch you soon, take care

Love
Tracy
x


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## Tina xx (Aug 30, 2006)

Hi hun, I'm glad that you and Miss TC had a lovely chat tonight, don't be a stranger in chat hun


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