# Introductions



## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hello Everyone

I have just realized that it might be nice to have our own introductions board
even though some of us have spoken before I don't know everyone here and it
would be nice to know each others history and what has led us to LCF.

If you don't think it's a good idea then just ignore me I won't be upset I promise   

Dydie xxx


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## astrid (Feb 10, 2003)

Hi dydie 
What a great idea....!!! i am not shy and willing to introduce myself....
My name is Astrid and i am 41 years old (flipping eck when did that happen??)....
I have been with my Dh eleven years and we both live in Essex (orignally from Northamptonshire)..I am nurse and Paul is a barber with 'no hair.'..
My journey has not been as painful and long as alot of girls on this thread.. l...
We have been ttc for 8 years. Its spoilt our sex lives, but we have had a laugh about it...rushing to get home on the motorway because my eggs were brewing..all that behind us thank goodness...
I have PCO and had 8 lots of treatment a mixture of iui's, ivf and icsi.... 
Last treatment failed in April and we now are living a child free ...
So that is my C.V....
love astridxxx


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## Juel (Jan 17, 2003)

Great idea Dydie ....can't fail to notice that you haven't introduced yourself though  

 Dydie......  Astrid ....

Here's me..........

......I'm Julie but prefer Juel/Juels & i'm 38, Dave's 40 (but never admits to it!! ).....& we're both hairdressers...well Dave's a barber like your DH Astrid!!......we've been married for 15 years..... blimey where have those years gone!!

We started TTC in September 1999 & got caught straight away (how lucky we thought we were ) but sadly lost baby no1 
Got BFP in January 2000 but lost no 2 at 10 weeks 
3rd BFP in April 2000 but again no joy & lost precious baby no3 .......
....All tests for recurrent m/c came back as fine....just unlucky we were told!

After 6 months of ttc naturally i somehow knew that something wasn't right so had referral for investigations...... after loads of investigations we were told that i had adhesions in my uterus from ERPC so had op to seperate them & was told all was ok & to try "the devils drug"... clomid for 6 months.

6 months later & my sanity well gone  still no joy so moved to IF clinic, we were now at the end of 2002!
Test showed my FSH was high at 10 so had Inhibin B test that showed me to have a low ovary reserve.
1st ICSI Feb 2003...... 7 eggs but only 1 fertilised for ET.....BFN.
2nd ICSI April 2003.......8 eggs but none fertilised.......
We were then told that Egg Donation was my only option.

Went for a second opinion where tests showed the lining of my uterus to be very thin,(which i knew as my AF had been very light since ERPC) another hysteroscopy showed damage/scarring to the walls of my uterus which would cause problems with implantation even if i went DE route......so with a gloomy outlook & my added m/c history we decided that enough was enough as my chances of ever achieving a miracle were next to none........

.......so here we are living child free!!!

I think that we're "lucky" in the fact that we do have many reason for our IF so it made living child free our only option really but it was still the toughest decision ever & it broke my heart to finally accept that i'd never be a mommy! (still cry when i type that )
I feel for those of you that have no concrete reason as to "WHY" ....it must make some gutts to draw the line!

We've had our lives back officially since Jan 2004 & it's taken some getting used to but it's getting easier (never ever thought i'd be able to say that).... we focus on the good things that we have as a couple & i appreciate such little things now that i'd have just taken for granted if i hadn't been struck by the IF Witch.....life is good at the moment & we're looking to the future again   .........

......Bring on our next holiday!!!!!     

luv
juels xxxxx


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Thanks for your replies Ladies I get the hint Juel so here is my intro for you....

I am Dydie aka Di, I am 33 yrs old and a mature student at Uni studying Law for my LLB Hons degree, I intend to become a solicitor one day, I will be starting my 2nd yr in Sept, I also work for an employment tribunal, offerring advice to people with work related legal issues.
I am (sort of) married to Gary (36) who is an HGV driver and an avid Southampton football fan (yes it's a sore subject after their relegation   )
We have 2 Boxer dogs and 3 cats, as well as an aviary, rabbits, guinea pigs and a tropical fish tank!

You can see my IF history in my profile, and we have fairly recently taken the decision to give child free living a go but we have agreed on the never say never approach mainly because I am still a baby in terms of IVF, I have had a rough time over the last year with my dh's daughter entering our lives but seem to be coping and accepting now.

You may be wondering why I am sort of married...well we got married in Las Vegas in 2000 it is our anniversary next week 5yrs already!   
We only found out about a year and a half ago that our wedding is not completely legal as the wedding certificate should have been sent back to the Nevada registrar within 28 days of the ceremony, so the marriage was never actually registered  

Gary has recently asked me to marry him properly, we did it the first time round on our own with no family or friends, Gary was never married before but this was my 2nd marriage but I got married in a registry office the first time round so neither of us have ever had the "Big Do" so you never know he may be lucky enough to marry me twice  

Anyway thats me in a nutshell

Lots of love Di xxxxx


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## lucysmith (Oct 12, 2004)

Hi, my story is kind of unusual. I am 29, my husband is 62. Ttc for two years, but nothing. Had some tests, husbands sperm count low, low motility and low percentage of normal forms. My tests ok, but have always had irregular periods so v difficult to pinpoint fertile time. With no joy so far and little chance of building up hope have decided to move on and accept child free life without trying for ivf or adoption. Neither really appealed to us. Have one cat and lots of amazing holidays though. It's tough, but I think it can only get easier as time goes on.

Although sometimes it's really hard cos all my mates are starting to get pg, and then later in life they will all be grandparents and I won't etc. Not looking forward to that. 

Also, another hard thing is that it is easier for my husband to accept I think. He recently said to his friend that I was having trouble dealing with it, reading books and logging onto websites etc. and that he was glad all that was over, so now I find myself still looking at this forum and others and reading books and having to do so in secret to avoid hurting his feelings!! Not good, as technically I am dealing with this on my own cos I don't feel I can talk to any friends about it anymore and also not ready to meet people in same boat face to face. Aggghhh.

L
xxx


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## Dydie (Feb 11, 2005)

Hi Lucy
Thanks for your introduction, we have not spoken before so I thought I would
say hello.
You are very brave to be facing this decision alone, I can imagine that you have faced
some tough times in following your heart, we are all here to help you come to terms with
this decision even if it's in secret    
I'm always around so please feel free to lean on me whenever you feel the need to chat.
Lots of Love
Dydie xxxx


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## lucysmith (Oct 12, 2004)

Yikes, the phone rang while I was on this site and my husband saw what I was on and said "Oh no, not more baby websites" I said it was the forum for Living Child Free and I don't think he was as bothered as I thought he would be.

Also, we started talking about our next holiday. We were going to go to Egypt, but it doesn't look the safest place to go at the moment, so then we thought about going to Borneo and going on a trip to see Orangutans in their natural habitat etc. so that's cheered me up.


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## MillyMay (Jul 29, 2005)

Hi, I'm new to this whole site and there are so many message boards and discussions ongoing that I don't quite know where to start. 
I'm 34, I have had severe endometriosis for 10 years - 4 laparoscopies and another one planned in Sept. We've been 'trying' for 4 years, 3 failed IVF cycles and told egg quality and/or endometriosis is the cause. 
We're both completely drained and feel like our lives have been on hold for 4 years and so we're wondering whether we want to 'flog this dead horse' any longer.
After the next 'lap' in Sept we're going to take some time out (and a 4 week holiday!) to get our heads together and to give us time to think things through.
To be totally honest we're not 100% sure if we're ready to to accept that it will 'just be the two of us' yet but it's good to know that you're all here when that day (inevitably) comes. 
Take Care all,
MillyMay


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hi guys, bit about me. I met my dh  in 1996 when i was 25 and he was 35(worked in same school for a while). He already had a 5 yr old daughtr who he had custody of(unusual as only 5% of fathers are awareded it). We got engaged in 1998 and married in 1999 .As we already had a young child there we decided to think of kids from day one.Wish i hadnt now as probably put more pressure on us! If we had said we didnt want any yet then it probably would have happened!!

After 18 months we went for tests- all fine. Was sent for laperoscopy 6 months later as had a small cyst, came back clear. Went back another 6 mths(2002) and told to " sit tight or go for ivf"!!! No other suggestions in between  . We tried again naturally for another year (had lots of pressures like house falling thru twice and sd's school problems and  sd's mother). Think i may have had 2 early miscarriages but was never checked out.(now 2003).When we finally decided to go private in 2004, it was the same doc we had seen on nhs!!!- funnily enough now that we were paying there were other options available such as iui and injections before ivf!!!!  

We decided to go for treatment and compromised on iui which we thought we would start last Oct (my two sisters have decided to settle down too so that made up our minds!)- then a member of my dept in work went off sick and i had to take on all her work!! Was raging- she said she would be back in Jan, but then changed and said she would not be back til May!!

So we went ahead-Jan to April this year. I think it didnt work as i was stressed about time off work. Dh really thought the iui would work and we had not wanted to do ivf. They also say if it is unexplained that it may not work anyway- pshychological!! 

Over last few years have had many ups and downs including him thinking i might want to find someone else to have child with!! This is added stress! As i said in another post took some extended time off May- June.Trying to cope day to day.

Sorry it is so long, buts i write the way i speak!!

Lots of love xxxx


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## Mairi (May 23, 2005)

Hi Ladies, can I join you? 
DH and I only met 3 years ago and because of my age we started trying to conceive after our first year together. I had been in 2 long, unsuccessful relationships before where babies weren't an option for various reasons. Then aged 37 I meet my sole mate who really wants kids and now we can't do it! DH has low sperm count and I'm 'past my best' so its proving v hard. 
Until I met DH my life consisted only of being a a v independent, busy, business woman working as a Marketing Director for a trendy property developer. Then lovely life change when I fell in love and i started sharing my life and trying to create a new wee life. 
We've tried twice now (BFN both times) and I have found it very hard, very emotional, very stressful and am now facing the decision whether to try again or accept life child free. It helps loads to hear all your stories and it would be good to chat a bit if poss. I'm at a junction and need help to decide which road to take
Love Mairi xxx


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hi Mairi, i am just new on this thread too. We will all try and support each other. By the way are you scottish? I remember learning a song in Primary School called ' Mairi's Wedding!!! Loved it!!!


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## Mairi (May 23, 2005)

Dear Irisheyes, yes I am Scottish but living in Manchester and married to a Manchester lad! It is a lovely song and you'll find I saw 'wee' alot! 
I'm off to my parents this weekend and let DH do some boys stuff like watch footy and drink beer. We have just finished our 2nd IVf tx and got a BFN so I think I'll get spoilt and he can not worry about me or have to deal with me bursting out crying for no reason. We have been talking alot over the last few days and he seems to be dealing with it by hoping that we might have a 'wee' miracle naturally but I am dealing with it by starting to think that we will never have kids and how can I compensate for that. Its so hard.
Take care all of you - Mairi xxxx


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## Anon (May 24, 2005)

Hello

I'd just like to join in.  I'm not ready to talk about my situation yet but would very much appreciate your company along this journey.

thank you.

Anon


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Welcome anon, it took me from April til now to post on this board.Still hoping for a miracle but trying to forget about it in between times.


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## lucysmith (Oct 12, 2004)

Welcome to you all. Understand what you are all going through, especially the bit about husband/partner worried we might go off and ttc with someone else. I get that a lot, especially as husband is 33 years my senior. 

It's hard to avoid children or parents in life. Yesterday one girl from work left to have a baby, she said "So are you planning to stick around then?" ie would I still be here when she comes back to work, I said "Looks like it!" as there is no option to get out of work for a year. Another example is tonight - they are going to build a 1000 pupil secondary school at the end of my road. The people behind it are a group of parents, at the meeting they all smugly went round "I'm so and so and I have three children, one who will be attending the new school in 2007..." etc. Why is it that children are such a status symbol in this day and age? Grrrr.


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