# starting our first cycle and declined funding :-(



## alirus (Feb 17, 2013)

Hi 

Hello everyone - after 3 years of trying to get pregnant and investigations I found out that I had two blocked fallopian tubes (hydrosalpinx), I was advised that I would not be able to get pregnant naturally and would defiantly need to have IVF.  It was also recommended that I have both my fallopian tubes removed to reduce problems occurring during IVf.  I am 40 in August and do feel the pressure of by age clock ticking, (and already have a low ovarian reserve noted in October 2012)  this has been such a long drawn out process for us - waiting for operation times etc but we are know ready to start our IVF journey !!!!!  

Unfortunately we found out that we would not qualify for any NHS funding as my husband has a 17year old son from a previous relation - this has been a really big blow for us, I cant believe the government discriminates me for this! and we now have the added pressure of only being able to afford one cycle of IVF so all our eggs are indeed in one basket.

I am already worrying about how I will feel if things dont work out but trying to stay positive 

Anyone else starting this their journey in April


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## Olive18 (Feb 23, 2013)

Hi Hun, we don't qualify for funding either  it makes you angry, but hey what can we do??

I'm hoping we will be starting IVF treatment in April/May, so who knows we may become cycle buddies! Wishing you lots of luck! Xx


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## alirus (Feb 17, 2013)

Hi Olivia18 

Thanks for replying, yes the funding is frustrating.  I cant belive some people get three free cycles and we get none.

A buddy for the journey ahead sounds like fun


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## Olive18 (Feb 23, 2013)

It's been great coming on here and chatting to people who are in similar situations - as supportive as friends and family can be, they haven't been in the same situation, so don't fully understand how it feels.

I felt very let down by the NhS, they did investigative tests on us, and discovered DH has Azoospermia, but rather than explaining to us our options, they just said come back when you've lost weight (which is why we can't get funding).  Ive lost weight, but not enough, and Rather than wait any longer We've decided to go private now. We're very pleased so far (not that much has happened yet) - just feel listened to, and like they have time for us.  

What stage are you at so far? Xx


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## carolj (Feb 14, 2013)

hi, we are in the same boat as you, i'm 38, very low reserve, 2 blocked tubes and definately only have funds for one cycle, although i was not advised to remove tubes i am currently on stimm injections at maximum dose and going for a scan on monday to see if there are any eggs for transfer, good luck to you xx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Alirus!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

Unfortunately all clinics work on the basis that if you partner has a child then you aren´t entitled to free treatment. I think this is grossly unfair.

Here are a few links that I think might help you.

Tubal Factors ~ CLICK HERE

IVF General chat ~ CLICK HERE

Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE

Cycle Buddies (undergoing treatment at the same time) - CLICK HERE

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck!            

Sue


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## alirus (Feb 17, 2013)

carolj said:


> hi, we are in the same boat as you, i'm 38, very low reserve, 2 blocked tubes and definately only have funds for one cycle, although i was not advised to remove tubes i am currently on stimm injections at maximum dose and going for a scan on monday to see if there are any eggs for transfer, good luck to you xx


HI thanks for your reply, I really hope thinks are going well - today is the day I ring the clinic and start my cycle lets hope all our eggs in the baskes are well looked after. which part of the country are you in. I also had fluid in my tubes which is the main reason they removed mine.


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## alirus (Feb 17, 2013)

Olive18 said:


> It's been great coming on here and chatting to people who are in similar situations - as supportive as friends and family can be, they haven't been in the same situation, so don't fully understand how it feels.
> 
> I felt very let down by the NhS, they did investigative tests on us, and discovered DH has Azoospermia, but rather than explaining to us our options, they just said come back when you've lost weight (which is why we can't get funding). Ive lost weight, but not enough, and Rather than wait any longer We've decided to go private now. We're very pleased so far (not that much has happened yet) - just feel listened to, and like they have time for us.
> 
> What stage are you at so far? Xx


I hope your having a better responce now you are going private. To be honest we have had problems and delays both ways. When under the NHS my husband was given a sample pot and instruction for sperm donation! rather than for anaylsis - good job i check everything. We then had conflicting advice from consultants at the gyne clinic re removing tubes and then a 6 month wait to get it done! Then being told no funding - Turned up at the first appointment for fertility clinic (private) to find out they had canceled our appointment by mistake and there was no consultant for us to see. I am hoping things go a bit smother from here in

due to ring the clinic today (first day of period) so our journey then begins lol


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## carolj (Feb 14, 2013)

hi alirus, good luck to you with youe cycle  . i am going for egg collection on friday (if there are any!!) so will now by friday afternoon if its game over for us  

i am from pwllheli in north wales, how about you?? x


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## Binkysowner_Caroline (Dec 14, 2012)

Hi Allrus

We're also about to start our first attempt of IVF/ICSI in April unless a miracle occurs and my AF arrives before Easter.  We also don't qualify for funding a) I'm too old at 36 and b) I had a miscarriage last year so even if I wasn't too old I wouldn't have qualified anyway.  I was initially was cross as it seems so unfair that some do and some don't qualify but the process going private has been so smooth, professional, timely, relaxing and not at all 'hospital like' which to me makes the whole thing a more pleasant experience (if it can be pleasant   ).  Trouble is the financial aspect does add pressure  

Where are you having your treatment?

B


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## PorkPie (Feb 12, 2013)

Hey alirus. Just to let you know that we're in the same boat,and cannot get funding because DH has a son from his previous marriage. It really does make you feel like a second class citizen doesn't it?!

Somedays I feel like everyone is entitled to funding except stepmums- like we don't have it hard enough?! 

At the end of the day, in time you just have to accept it and move on, and yes, it places a financial pressure on you as there is only so much cash any couple can pour into this.

I wonder if one day, a couple will get a fantastic lawyer and challenge this ruling. If pct's can be made to consider some decisions (for example, gay couples as I understand weren't previously entitled and now are) then surely this could be challenged. One day maybe, not in time to help us though.

Welcome to the roller coaster!! Jump aboard!!


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## Flossy996 (Jan 27, 2012)

Hi alirus
I'm in the same boat as you. My DF has kids from a previous relationship so no funding for me. We are having to use our wedding fund for our IVF. 
I am also due to start IVF in April and am excited but nervous. 

Best of luck to you x


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## Bridget73 (Mar 28, 2013)

Yes, another first-timer here having to pay for IFV as husband has a child from first marriage. Nothing to do with me, but yes, us women, are still penalised. Going down the IVF route due to age, 39. NHS never actually gave us a reason why they were recommending IVF, didn't give us any info, and then rang up one evening to say, by the way you'll have to pay for it. Great start. Private is a lot better generally, except consultant had just come from NHS when I saw him the other day and I think he'd left that hat on as I felt an inconvenience to him too. Little rant over.

Hope things are going smoothly for all.


Bridget x


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## Silver star (Aug 13, 2012)

Well it's very sad to read all your posts , make me so upset , 
I had 4 go's on the NHS , but was told by a nurse ( just after my lap ) to "find a address in Islington" in other worlds where I live ( harringgay ) is not grate , long wating list an only 2 rounds , of IVF , 
So I 'faked' a move to Islington then found out if I live in Camden , I could get 6 go's , yes ladies 6 , 3 fresh and 3 frozen , 
But in nov ( 2012 ) I was 40 ,so no more NHS for me ,  but I made me see just how crazy the hole thing is , 
Like if you pay for your 1st IVF , the NHS will not help with others , 
I wish a dr had told me to go had have a hysterscopy and immune bloods done , I would of payed to have before all my IVF's . 

I have friends just starting out on the baby journey , and I've told them to find an address in Camden ! 
If any one wants to know more then inbox me ,


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## Flossy996 (Jan 27, 2012)

It's so depressing it and seems so unfair. There is no rhyme or reason to how or why decisions are made in different postcodes and us step mummies are definitely penalised. 

I hate to quote the human rights act (I'm not one of "those" people) but one of the articles states that every human being has a right to a family life...if I had the fight in me I would like to challenge the European court of human rights in relation to funding for fertility treatment. 

As it stands and like most of us girls, I'm haven't got it in me and have just accepted that I will need to self fund as all I really want is a little bundle of joy. 

Anyway, going private has actually been a blessing in disguise.  I've got amazing care and nurses looking after me. I have so much control over what goes on and I have options open to me that would not be there if I was NHS funded

So, rant over and baby wishes to you all
Flossy xx


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## Silver star (Aug 13, 2012)

Yes ! Flossy996. , its unfair and sad , not much else to say on that , just that I'm with you , all the best xxx


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## PorkPie (Feb 12, 2013)

i have to agree with you Flossy, and have said the same to DH on several occasions. i'm sure that if a stepmum with the money, the will to fight, and the right lawyer took their case to the European court of human rights they would have a good chance of winning.

trouble is, they're all skint because they're spending all their money on tx!

ironic really.


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## Flossy996 (Jan 27, 2012)

Pork pie...
You've hit the nail on the head!!!

xx


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## alirus (Feb 17, 2013)

carolj said:


> hi alirus, good luck to you with youe cycle . i am going for egg collection on friday (if there are any!!) so will now by friday afternoon if its game over for us
> 
> i am from pwllheli in north wales, how about you?? x


I thanks for the good luck wishes - I hope all went well with your egg collection

I am up in Nottingham but I am a Pembrokeshire girl at heart


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## alirus (Feb 17, 2013)

PorkPie said:


> Hey alirus. Just to let you know that we're in the same boat,and cannot get funding because DH has a son from his previous marriage. It really does make you feel like a second class citizen doesn't it?!
> 
> Somedays I feel like everyone is entitled to funding except stepmums- like we don't have it hard enough?!
> 
> ...


It does make me mad tho - I have worked all my life and paid my taxes - I look after myself health wise and the one time I have a health problem that effects my fertility I get told I have to go private - does not sound fair to me. I am the one needing treatment so it should be judged on that! that's my rant over lol

There is a couple down south that I read about that challenged their PCT and managed to get funding

I feel if I make a big deal of it my step son will feel bad and think its his fault - so challenging the decision is off the cards for me

My roller coaster starts next Thursday when I start my down regulation - so I better hold on tight


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