# The mad things I do to get my BFP



## deedee_spark (Aug 6, 2014)

Craziest thing done trying to get the BFP...

This weekend, our ovulation window, has been our craziest attempts to get the BFP, to date. I can't promise it won't get worse... _Be warned of too much information._

I had infected my DH with a cold so he really wasn't up to the daily BD. This morning, because he had no energy to do-the-do at 6:30am, and because I have to be careful with contracting urine infections caused by too much BD, he injected me with his sperm using a syringe. It was a level of intimacy we have never reached before.  We bought sterile pots and syringes on ebay from a very nice gentleman. He even asked if we needed any sperm to go with the pots! "I'm fine right now. Thanks for asking!" I mailed back. At least I know that if hubby gets bored of his baby making maniac of a wife, I won't have to worry about sperm. PM me if you want his details. 

Even barmier behaviour occurred at the beginning of the weekend. We were doing it the old fashioned way, with the addition a soft cup after the deed (not letting those boys escape), and I was also taking guaifenesin to make my environment more fluid.  When removing the soft cup, a few hours later, I decided to test the PH - much like everyone does... The baby making book said the PH should be around 7-8 for the sperm to survive. Earlier samples of sperm and preseed had been tested independently, and both had their expected PH level. However, output of the soft cup was 6.5, at best, even though preseed had been used. I could only assume the sperm were killed by my evil acid environment.  Erupt into tears of self pity? That was the old me. The new me stays upbeat, soldiers on, consults books and turns to Dr Google.The next morning, I followed the alkalising cervical fluid instructions and used a syringe to do a bicarb douche; a strange sensation. But first I informed my DH that should anything happen to me as a result of douching, and I end up in A&E with toxic shock syndrome, he should inform the medical staff that bicarb of soda was sent into my nether regions in an attempt to TTC, and we were getting really, really desperate. 

l survived the experiment and we were able to repeat the process on ovulation day, thankfully a Sunday. Douche, BD, an hour without moving, soft cup, random head stands, and eight hours later, remove soft cup. A test of the soft cup contents indicated a PH of between 7 and 7.5. Hooray, sperm were alive! 

But, still, this is not the wackiest thing I have done on this TTC attempt... As I write and whilst I work, I have put my large headphones on my belly, not the little ones that you stick in your ears, and I'm playing romantic classical music. I figure if the sperm and egg have met, they may want to do a little dance together, or they may want a reason to stay in this world. What better reason than music? It did pose a morale dilemma when choosing a tune. Something modern? Something sexy to help the process? Blurred lines? Touch-e touch-e touch-me? Something less x-rated that wouldn't pollute young minds was chosen.  Yes, I'm most definitely irrational. 

You have to excuse me though, it has been nearly 3 years of this waiting game, so what is one cycle of craziness out those years. We've tried the drunken BD after a curry. We've tried timed holidays in Cuba and USA. I've tried hypnosis. I've tried acupuncture (hated it). I try to visualise energised ovaries and clear fallopian tubes. We've changed our diet completely - I'm still on the Immune recovery plan. We're seeing ARGC in a few weeks, but we'll try anything before we get there. 

If we don't get a BFP, maybe next month we'll try the fertility massage, unless of course of you can come up with something more wacky that can be tried. 

Best of luck to you all. 
xx 
***Please note, I would not recommend the douching methods of TTC. I am following a book that says the doctor should test the ph, not the patient (there should be acid in the women to kill bugs - it is only the cervical fluid that should be alkaline). The risk is all mine...***


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Oh Deedee, your post made me chuckle (in a solidarity kind of way)  

Yes indeed, I think we have all stooped to levels of insanity that we previously didn't know existed  

Wow to the offer of sperm with your pots, that's an offer that I bet wasn't advertised on the website  

All aside though, I think that it's great to get out there just how you're feeling lovely.  There is no crazy that at least a handful of people won't be nodding along to.  It made me think of all the crazy stuff that I've done, I think that I've done lots of the ones that you mentioned and then some.  Trying to achieve our dreams doesn't come easy for some of us, we have to resort to all kinds of madness!  I don't think that there can be too much information for those of us going through it too   xx


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## hilly35 (Feb 14, 2012)

deedee - your post made me smile with the pure honesty of everything you have written. GO you - you know what its all you can do - throw every mad crazy idea at this and one will eventually stick. I love your approach.  

I am also slightly curious by random offers of donor sperm!!!!! Mind boggles - crazy world!


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## deedee_spark (Aug 6, 2014)

Thank you both of you. It helps to write about my little quirks - somehow feel not so alone.

Although we were TTC using strange methods this cycle, I have been much more chilled and less obsessed. In between random attempts/tests, I have been focused on other activities. Before, all I thought about was TTC.

I hope we get there. I am sure we'll have a family eventually as I am open to any route, and fortunately DH is happy to oblige. Life is so short, and I want to start enjoying it instead of being stuck in a TTC hole (like I have been for years) - long may this feeling reign. I don't know why the switch in my thinking. Maybe it was the chimp paradox, or the diet, or daily mindfulness, or the thyroid medicine, or meeting a bunch of understanding women.

The sperm offer was so strange - and not advertised. We bought sterile pots from ebay. They could have been used for anything, so the offer was completely out of the blue. After reading his email, I spent the rest of the day giggling.


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Ah, the little things that brighten our days  

You know that you've entered the weird world of long term TTC  when a pot of sperm can make you giggle    

I've often had bizarre little thoughts about whether I can extract a pot of sperm from my DH without him knowing.  Honestly, the things that keep you awake at night  

I haven't found a way to conquer my Snow White yet.  Sadly it may never be possible, I actually really identify with her!

Sending you a big


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## bundles (Jul 16, 2011)

Deedee you are a joy to behold      No one can say you're not trying & with that amount of effort, you deserve to be successful. I await with baited breath xx


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## Lolem (Sep 1, 2014)

Deedee, your post made me laugh so much. Thank you for making me realise I'm not the only crazy one out there! (In a good way of course!)
Good luck with your craziness


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## Haydan (Oct 12, 2013)

Hey Deedee, 

i think your post was brilliant and made for an interesting read - good luck!


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## dancingdreamer (Jun 7, 2014)

Love this deedee! 
Xox


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