# Questions for SW after being linked



## daisy0609 (Oct 29, 2012)

We have been matched to a lil pink and have seen the paediatrician and are meeting her SW on thurs mornin them her FC on Friday morning. What questions should I ask the SW?what I can find on here is questions really before people have been linked and/or matched.

Thanks

Xx


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

ROUTINE
Can they dress / undress themselves?
What boundaries have been set – reward systems / time out / naughty step?
What is their daily routine? Can you write it out for us?

FOOD
Any feeding / swallowing issues?
Are they good or fussy eaters? – Does it take a long time for them to eat a meal?
Are they having jars, if so which ones do they like?
Are they weaned, if so, when?
Do they have any allergies - food?
Do they have formula (what make?) or cow's milk (full?)?
How much milk do they have?
How often do they eat and how much?
What are their food likes and dislikes?
What do they usually drink?
What food do they usually eat?
What type of food are they eating, lumps or not lumps, finger food etc

BATHTIME
Do they like being in the bath or is it a stressful time for them?
Do they like brushing their teeth?  Do they need help with this?
Do they like having their hair brushed, washed, dried?
Hairbrush or comb?
How do you wash their hair and what with?
What shampoo and bubble bath do they have?
When and how often do they have a bath, morning or evening?

SLEEP
Do siblings sleep in the same room?
Do they use a dummy either just at night or during the day too?
Do they have any other comforters either just at night or during the day too?
Do they nap, if so when and where?
Do they need a nightlight on?
Do they share a room?
Do they sleep soundly or does the slightest thing wake them?
How are they sleeping?
How do you soothe them back to sleep during the night if they wake up?
How do you deal with nightmares / monsters under the bed?
Is their cot in a particular place (near or away from window)? Do you have anything in the cot, toys, mobile, etc?
Is there any music used to help them sleep?
What and how many blankets / sleeping bag, etc used in cot / bed?
What is their sleep routine (time, stories, bath etc?)
Will they sleep in the buggy or the car or do they have to go to bed to sleep?
TOILET TRAINING
Are they toilet trained?
Do they need help with toilet, and washing hands etc? 
Do they suffer from nappy rash & what cream do they use?
How did toilet training go?
What are they like having their nappy changed?  Are they reasonably happy or do they hate it?
What is their nappy size?
What make of nappies do they have?
What nappy changing / bottom creams do they have?
BEHAVIOUR
Can you identify what their particular cries mean? (need food, changing, etc.)
Do they have any (rational or irrational) fears, e.g. flies, spiders, loud noises, water, smells, places, acitivites, beards, people with glasses, anything unusual?
Do they have any tantrums and what triggers them?  How long to they last?
Do they react to pain / distress of others / you when they are with you?
How can you tell when they are angry or scared?
How can you tell when they are hungry or tired?
How do they cope with pain, do they have an overly high or low pain threshold?
How do they show affection? Are they cuddly or do they push you away?
How easily are they calmed?
How would you describe their behaviour and personality? (Calm, placid, fussy etc)
If they have any contact with the birth family, how does it affect them?
Is there any thing that triggers a particular feeling, e.g. anger, happiness, fright, distress?
Is there anything that especially delights them, gets them excited?
What do they use to comfort themselves, e.g. blanket / dummy / rag / toy?
What do you do to comfort them, e.g. cuddle / stroke / hold them in a particular way?
What is their general outlook on life?
What is their 'quiet space' / sanctuary?
What do they understand about their safety, e.g. not playing with matches, knowing how to dial 999

PRODUCTS
What air freshener do you use?
What perfumes / after shave etc do the FC wear?
What soap powder / conditioner / tumble dryer additives do you use?
Which baby products / toiletries do you use?

MEDICAL
Access to medical records?
Are their inoculations up to date?
Are there any upcoming appointments?
Are they a sicky baby?
Are they having any specialised care / therapy etc?
Are they teething?
Do they go to the dentist regularly and do they like this?
Do they have any allergies to products, e.g. washing powder, plasters, etc.?
Do they have any special needs?
Do they have dry skin / baby eczema?  What products do you use?  Are these over-the-counter or prescription?
Do they like calpol or do they prefer nurofen?
Has there been any grief work done with them?
Have they been screened for hep b/c, HIV?
Have they had any childhood illnesses, e.g chicken pox, glue ear, stick eyes, etc?
How did you handle teething, is there anything they liked / disliked?
How much do they weigh?
If they take meds, how and when are they given?
What are their heights?
What do you do when they are feeling unwell?
What happens when they are teething, e.g. rash, fever, lots of drool?
What is planned over the continued review of any medical conditions?
What was their head circumference at birth and now?  These give a good indication of likely future growth.
When are their next medical / dental / opticians appointments?  Are they up to date?
When was their last dental appointment?

DEVELOPMENT
At what stage of development are their speech and language skills?  Are there any issues being or to be addressed?
Do they have any particular talents and attributes?
How do they compare in development milestones to a typical child of their age?
How is their intelligence / understanding?
How mobile are they?
What has their physical development been like, e.g. centile charts?

EDUCATION
Can they speak / read / write / draw?
Can we see any of the things they bring home from school?
Do they have a best friend at school / nursery?
Do they have any friends away from nursery/school that they may miss?
Do they have any specific skills or attributes, e.g. fantastic dancer?
Do they like going to nursery or school?
What was their last report like?

SOCIAL
Are there any other children in the foster care placement (siblings or other children) and how do they get on with them?
Are they used to playing with / having other children around?
Do they enjoy the company of adults or children more?
Do they get upset or anxious by strangers?  Do they have stranger fear?
Do they have difficulty with hugs, eye contact, close proximity?
Do they like their / others birthday and Christmas and parties?
Do they play well with friends – are they leaders or followers?
Do you take them to any / many toddler groups?
How are they with new people?
Which adults are they closest to?

ANIMALS
Are there any animals they are frightened of?
Are they used to any pets or animals?
Did the birth family have pets?
Do they like cats / dogs / birds / farm animals?
Do you have pets?
How do they behave around pets or other people's animals?

ACTIVITIES
Can and do they swim?
Do they like dancing and singing?
Do they like playing in the garden, even on dull days?
Do they like sports and outdoor activities?
Do they like travelling in the car – are they good passengers?
Do they like walking?
Do they ride a bike yet? Do they have bikes?
Do they suffer from travel sickness?
Do you use a sling / baby carrier?
Have they been long distances in a car?
Have you taken them abroad on holiday? If so, where? (Passport?)
Have you taken them on holiday in this country? If so, where?
Is there any particular equipment you take with you when going out with them?
Seating arrangements, e.g. at table, in cars, at restaurants
What are their favourite indoor / outdoor games?
What are their favourite places to go?
What are their favourite smells, e.g. seaside or flowers
What are their favourite songs?
What are their hobbies and interests?
What child seats are in the car?
What kind of pram / buggy / pushchair are they used to?
What sounds / noises do they like to hear?
Where do they most like to go? (farm, park, swimming etc)?
Which make of car seat do you use? Do they have any toys mirrors etc on it?

CLOTHING
Are there any clothes that they dislike wearing?
Are there any clothes they particularly like / favourites?
Do they have a good range of seasonal clothing to bring with them?
What are their clothing sizes?
What clothing do they have?
What is the size of their feet?
What is their shoe size?

TOYS / BOOKS, ETC
Do they have any favourite toys / books?
Do they have any music / TV / film favourites?
Is there a particular theme to the toys / books / TV they like the most?
What are their favourite toys?

POSSESSIONS
Is there anything that they really like that they wont be bringing with them? 
What clothing / toys / bedding / books / CDs / DVDs / photos / documents / other possessions will they be bringing with them?
Who gave them which possessions, e.g. birth family, other FC, etc?  Which are significant or most precious and why?

GENERAL
Are there any photos we could take with us?
Do they have any nicknames?
Double check anything you have been told by SW or medical advisors, the FC has the most thorough knowledge, and it has been known for SW to miss out important info.
How are their religous needs being met?  Do the birth family want them to be practicing their faith?
What is their legal status?  What court dates are there?  What is the likely outcome?
Where are all their legal papers / health records / personal papers / school or nursery reports / old birthday cards / old photos etc?
Will you be able to provide us with photos during their stay at the FC placement?

HISTORY / FAMILY
Are there any mental health issues with birth family?
Are there any other siblings?  What is their status? How are they doing?
Did siblings have similar ante-natal experiences?
Genetic illness in birth family?
How premature were they?
Was there any substance abuse / smoking by birth mum?
What is their ethnicity?
What was their birth weight, length and time?



FUTURE
Can we call you to ask more questions in the future?
Do they think that there will be a lot of problems when they move on?
Do they understand about adoption?
Do they understand about their past and future?  If so, how much have they been told?
Do they understand what has happened to birth mother and father?
Do you want to keep in contact?
Is there anything that you would like to know about us / need from us?
What and who do you think they will miss when they move on?
When can we give them something of ours, item of clothing or a toy for them to get used to?

ADOPTION PLAN
What contact with family, including siblings will be expected?
What is the plan for reducing contact with birth family (if any is taking place?)
What is their adoption plan?
Who supports their plan, e.g. Legal Advocate (GAL) / courts / birth family
What assessments have been undertaken and when?  Medical / Sibling / Attachment
What reports have been produced and when?  Medical / School / Nursery / Foster Carer / Sibling Assessments
Attachment specialists report / psychiatrists report.  Check to see if the child is assessed as having secure attachments with the foster carer.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi daisy,

Congrats on the link. I would ask for info on birth family ie how long have SSs been involved with the family (some can tell you about other relatives and if they have been involved in different generations). I would also gently quiz the SW and ensure the info they tell you about the little matches what the FC has told you. You can then ask more on the process and how quickly they move to matching and intros.

Ask the SW to tell you what they think the longer term problems may be with LO. If there are other siblings then I would quiz a lot on contact arrangements, security, issues sibs have faced and how they envisage letterbox working. 

There is often info in the CPR that is vague but SWs can often give more anecdotal info based in what they have  in the file and how long they have known birth family.

HTH x


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## scoobydooby (Nov 5, 2013)

Daddyboo (Paul) said:


> ROUTINE
> Can they dress / undress themselves?
> What boundaries have been set - reward systems / time out / naughty step?
> What is their daily routine? Can you write it out for us?
> ...


Good god lol! How long was your meeting with the FC?! 

Any FC worth their weight will have the answers to all the important questions already written down in a 'all about me' book. Obvious questions are sleep routines, favourite foods, toys etc. It all depends on the age of the child though to be honest.


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Daisy, just another thought. You need to work with the holds SW for a good few months so developing a good working relationship is good at this stage too. So Qs like the expectations for post placement contact and support. 
X


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## daisy0609 (Oct 29, 2012)

Thanks guys that's more than a lot to think about!and ask!LO will be just over 18 months when placed with us, feeling rather anxious, nervous, excited and scared about it all x


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

I'd be astonished if most SWs would know 4/5ths of Paul's list tbh. I'd save most of those Qs for the FC


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