# September/October 2021 Cycle Buddies



## Sharry

A thread for everybody cycling in September and October 2021.

Sharry xx


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## sparkler2020

Starting ICSI at the beginning of September in Czech Republic. 
First time to have fertility treatment, we have a male factor fertility issue. 
Praying for happy news at the end.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hi ladies!

This is my first time posting and first time doing ICSI due to male factor. Sounds like we are similar Sparkler2020! I've actually already started treatment as began end of August. I'm currently stimming. Had a really bad start as wasn't responding well to the meds - I have a borderline low AMH so they had to up the dosage. Gave us a stressful couple of days but on the second scan we suddenly saw lots of follicles and all progressing well!  I'm potentially doing egg collection Wednesday. How is everyone?


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## sparkler2020

Hello

Yes similar situation. Today was day one for me of Gonal, strange feeling starting this for real after so long talking about best steps to take, am much more relaxed now the first day is done.
Will be having my scan on day 8, hope all will be well.
Amazing not long until your egg retrieval. U must be anxious and excited x


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## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler2020- It feels surreal actually starting doesn't it?! I also felt far more relaxed after the first day. Good luck for your first scan! How are you feeling? I was on Benfola - don't know Gonal - I only really realised there are lots of different ones once I started reading up on it. I found stimming not too bad at first but the last few days my ovaries have been so painful. I had my last scan today. All looking good - there are some follies they want to give a chance to grow a bit more so egg collection will actually be Thursday now.

Yep I'm both anxious and excited! Mostly just want to get those eggs out my ovaries so I can be done with the pain.

It has all happened so fast though! I really thought it would take longer to do a cycle but I am doing a short one. I'm at ABC doing mild/natural IVF.


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## sparkler2020

Tryingformyfirst

Today was day 2 of injections I am on 250 units Gonal. I am not familiar with your med! 
I feel fine so far and quite normal, not looking forward to pain if it’s coming my way. 

I am now feeling anxious about the scan, I wish I was not, it is the not knowing what will be. I guess I feel this is on hold up until that moment as
we are travelling abroad for ICSI. 

After trying for over two years, lockdown did not help kick start the process. We would take one step forward and many more back. Finally to be here and the long wait for Saturday. 
Once we get the results we will get confirmation of what our next step is, but for us this will mean to book flights and the hotel. 

I have been prescribed Cetrotide and Ovitrelle as well, not started yet. 

We have male factor fertility issues and I pray ICSI works for us. I noted this is the same for you too, will you be having ICSI? 

It’s one more day longer for you, do you know how many follicles you have?

Is your clinic in Harley Street? 

Glad I have someone to talk to on here. Seem like it is just you and me x


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## Tryingformyfirst

sparkler2020

Yes I'm surprised this thread is so quiet! It was very active last month. I also have Cetrotide and Ovitrelle so that bits the same. 

We are also doing ICSI. And also trying for 2 years. It is depressing that lockdown didn't help! I thought that as we'd have extra time to focus on it that our chances were better - sadly not the case. We spent a lot of time and energy trying to improve my husbands sperm. We have seen some improvement but it's not enough. He had a varricocele embolisation which defo showed good results 3 months on (we are on month 5 of that now) but it takes up to a year for full results and the doctor says even then it might be an improvement but not enough for natural.

For us doing IVF was quite sudden as all our focus was on trying naturally and improving my husbands sperm. It was only in the last couple of months we agreed to pursue IVF so we rushed through all the tests as when I went to the clinic even they said to not leave it 6 months as then it will be harder to get eggs. Maybe they are wrong but I don't want to take the risk and have this be a much more complicated situation.

So I actually have more follicles than expected - 17!! So I'm pretty thrilled as at a baseline scan it has ranged from 8 to 13 at best. Although due to our bad start a lot of these follicles are small... so I'm guessing they won't collect them. But then I don't know how it works. The clinic said they think they can get 6 good quality eggs based on my last scan and how many have grown. I know this clinic focusses more on quality than quantity. 

My clinic is in Oxford although I will do egg collection in London at St Pauls with their sister clinic Create. 

Fingers crossed for your scan! Glad you are not feeling unwell so far. I was also very anxious - it's best to keep busy I think and don't overthink things too much. I also tried to eat lots of protein - milk, nuts and keep my stomach and back warm (wearing a jumper) - no idea if this helps but makes me feel like I'm doing something.


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## sparkler2020

Tryingformyfirst

Reading your response really makes me think we are clearly in a similar situation. Thank god I found you on here it is nice and comforting to know we can speak about it. 

My husband has exactly the same issue, we did try supplements etc but they only work so much and we knew this from the offset, we were told we would need assistance and ICSI being the way. 
Lockdown did delay us too otherwise this would of started a year and half ago, I am sure it has ruined plans for so many people., but keeping positive here we are doing it now woohoo! 

That is amazing news 6 eggies is great… so much pressure but it only takes ☝🏼 😉 

I am back to work so that will keep me busy, my husband keeps telling me I need to take it easy as I’m not switching off and sitting down until bedtime. 
I must learn to relax a little more! 

Haha I am sure the keeping warm has been sweaty the last couple of days, with the beautiful weather. 

On what day did you start getting pain? 
Are you having just the one embryo implanted?


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## Tryingformyfirst

I started with pain on the 4th day I think. Everyone feels different though Im sure so dont worry if u feel fine. Yes I will be just transferring 1 as my clinic try to avoid multiple births. Are u transferring just 1 also? 

Oh yes keeping warm has been sweaty haha. And I just read u should stay warm up until transfer then no heat after that. I really need to stop obsessively googling all this...

Im also keeping busy with work. I work from home which has made it a bit easier getting to appointments. I take my trigger shot tonight. Final injection!


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## sparkler2020

Today was day 3 for me and am def feeling more pain, the body has to do what it does I guess. 

We are hoping on transferring two all being well 🤲 I know their is a small percentage risk of multiples but I’m hoping it will give us more of a chance of at least one sticking. 

You are right google is lethal but can’t be helped in this situation. 

How exciting last one for you, good luck. Two more sleeps for you now…
All being well our big day will be next Thursday 🤞🏽


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## sparkler2020

Tryingformyfirst

Hoping today was successful for you x


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hi Sparkler 2020! Thanks for the wishes. All went well. They got 6 eggs as predicted which I find reassuring as shows my clinic was right. Im very happy with that after our bad start. We are now waiting a call in the next 48 hours to see if we have any embryos. My husband also gave a better than usual sample. His motility is usually super low but it was 16% today with 1 million per ml so great for ICSI as there should be plenty to choose from.

Oh im sorry to hear about the pain... I guess it shows something is happening. It is horrible though... I ended up using a hot water bottle and taking paracetamol the last few days.


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## sparkler2020

Fantastic a better outcome than you expected regarding your husband, praying and fingers crossed for your six embryos.

How did you find the procedure it self? 
My pain is really mild which is a relief, I am mainly bloated and have a lack of appetite. Just waiting for Saturday and hope we have a good amount of follicles.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hey Sparkler

So this has been rough! Out of the 6 eggs 1 wasnt mature and then only 1 fertilised! We must have some kind of extra issue as fertilisation should be 80% After some research we have decided next round we will try ICSI with AOA. It's looking like DH's sperm dont have enough of the chemical to fertilise or maybe too many have round heads. We will get some tests done.

On a more positive note that 1 embryo has survived! We will be going ahead with transfer at 12 tomorrow.

I actually found egg collection easy as I was sedated and fortunately fell straight asleep. Woke up after it was all done. How was your first scan?


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## sparkler2020

Tryingformyfirst

So happy to hear you have your transfer day tomorrow, how exciting. 

Day 8 today had the scan and have 12 follicles in total, the predicted time line has now changed to two days earlier. I am now having retrieval done on Tuesday morning, can’t believe I am in this journey and am here already. 
My implantation day will be Sunday hoping and praying.


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## Tryingformyfirst

12 follicles is great! And wow tuesday is fast. Not long now! Stimming must be going really well.

I had the transfer today. All went smoothly and was told it's grade 1 10 cells... which is best case scenario seen as we only have 1! Im hopeful.


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## sparkler2020

Yes not far now at all, I seem to have got my head around it better today. 

That is brilliant news and I am rooting for you, keep me posted. 
I will let you know how Tuesday goes


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## Tryingformyfirst

Good luck tomorrow Sparkler!


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## JoeyC

Hi ladies, hope it’s ok that I join in on this thread.
I am a little bit behind you two, I’ve got my down reg scan tomorrow having been on buserelin.
This is our first round of ivf for our second child and have been trying for nearly 3 years now.
Our little boy was conceived naturally but again took over 2 years.
We have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility both times as all tests were ok 🤷‍♀️
Trying,I really hope your transfer is successful, and your egg collection goes well today Sparkler.
I’m already bricking it for my scan tomorrow so I can only imagine the nerves for collection and transfer!


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## sparkler2020

Hello

Welcome JoeyC! Nice to have you join was beginning to feel like just myself and Tryingformyfirst. 
Good luck with your scan and you can only keep positive and hope for the best. 

Thank you Tryingformyfirst for your message of luck.
Out of my twelve follicles they only managed to retrieve one fertilised egg. The rest of the follicles were either slightly smaller or empty. I am so disappointed and upset, I don’t know why this is the result! It seems so unfair, am healthy so why. I just need to get my head around this morning. I know it can happen, but I am gutted. 
I am going to be positive about this one egg and hope we get to transfer day, please god! 

This process is not easy and what you imagine or think as a possible chance may not even be that, judging by my day.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Welcome JoeyC! Good Luck with tomorrow's scan! I hope is goes well.

Oh no Sparkler I'm so sorry! I totally agree it's not as easy and straight forward as you imagine  I've read that you should think of the 1st round as a 'trial' but it's frustrating! Do the doctors have any idea what happened? Good luck and I really hope your one egg fertilises and you can have a transfer!!


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## JoeyC

So sorry to hear this,keep your chin up though.
You could still get lucky with the one though right as long as it matures enough for transfer?
So many obstacles to get to transfer day isn’t there.
I think I am most worried about not getting a single egg but it seems even if you get loads there’s still the embryo phase to get through.
I think this whole process I’m just going to expect the unexpected as it seems things never ever pan out as you think they will.
It’s hard as you want to remain positive but then it’s a harder pill to swallow if you aren’t successful.
A trial is defo a good way of looking at the first cycle though, and will get you through a second if you need it.
I really wouldn’t beat yourself up sparkler about why because I think it really is just a game of luck which is totally out of anyone’s hands.
I really don’t think we are going to have the money to continue for another round so I feel like the pressure is on with this one.
Maybe we can push to FET but that all depends on whether or not you have any eggs to freeze 🤷‍♀️ Soo many ifs and buts, I don’t like it at all.
Scan went ok, so it’s bang on the stims for me tomorrow.
I am on Menapur and Ovaleap, plus I have to keep taking Buserelin but only a half dose.
Was quite looking forward to ditching that but oh well.
Can just tell I’m going to get in a muddle with it all, Thank god for hubby is all I can say.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF

We are praying this one we have makes it to Implantation day, it was graded as a M2. 
Really hoping we get this chance of success. 

Doctors have said one ovary did not respond to stimulation, due to age and reserve levels. The other ovary had a cyst and prevented the flow of fluid, which is a random response to stimulation. 

It is so upsetting and gets you down. Can’t help but reverting to googling it all which is not brilliant. 
Have tried to remain positive and will continue to 🙏🏽

How are you feeling?


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC 

Glad your scan went well, hope the next phase goes well for you. Keep positive and know your doing your best and good luck with the medications. 

Yes it only takes one so we are praying for that one to make it. 
This process is not easy and hormones don’t help for sure, but we are doing it for the bigger picture to become a parent. 

Stay positive what is the next step for you?


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## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler - I really hope your egg develops into an embryo for you and yes it only takes one 🤞

Did they mention earlier in your cycle that you were not responding well? I'm surprised there was nothing they could do sooner. My doctor told me on the first scan that I wasn't responding properly and then they upped my dose. I get the impression it's about finding the right dose of medication that works the best for you. I don't know much about cysts, maybe you can get that treated for the future?

Joey C - Glad your scan went well! I also felt overwhelmed with all the different medication and when to take it. It is a lot! Particularly as mine kept changing a bit. I think I got more used to it as it went on though but was happy to be done when I reached the end.

I'm tired of the 2 week wait now... I'm nearly at the half way point. I'm just trying to distract myself and not symptom spot... easier said than done.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF
During my ultrasound internal and external the cyst looks like a follicle and can not be detected. It has only developed from the stimulating. Not something I had before as I had a ultrasound before starting stimulating and starting this process. 

I do keep questing what went wrong… wish I knew more. I think they will talk to me about doing mini ivf the next time. Obv again googled it before I see them face to face. 
Did you do a mini ivf cycle? 

Keep praying for my one lol eggy to make it for me… come on 💗


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## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler

Come on eggy!

I did natural/mild IVF which might be similar to mini - it proved too mild for me as during my first scan it just looked like a normal baseline scan mostly. So next round I need to do something stronger from the start. But I know everyone is different. Try get as much advice from various doctors as you can.

Ah that sucks that the medication made you develop a cyst. Also an option is just completely switching meds. I will probably do that next time. We are going to go with a different clinic anyway due to my husbands sperm fertilisation problem so will be completely changing what we did.


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## JoeyC

Sparkler,
Really hoping your eggy comes along this week.
Do they give you an update after a few days?
I have been chatting to someone who is now pregnant with only a few one egg making it to transfer day! She still can’t believe it but goes to show it does happen.
Cysts are quite common when you have been doing down reg but you didn’t do that did you?
I was praying there weren’t any at my scan as I’ve had one before but it was clear.
Small ones usually go away on their own but it’s a waiting game that you don’t want when you want to crack straight on with the next cycle.
Tfmf, 2ww is never good but I know when you have done ivf it must be so hard not to convince yourself you are pregnant.
Have you done any tests yet?
I know they would be practically pointless at this stage but I have no self control when it comes to testing! Id of probably done 3 tests by half way!! 
I found out a week before I was due on when I was pregnant before so this won’t help me frantically peeing on sticks in a few weeks time!


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC - oh no don't encourage me 😂 I thought I was bad for testing but I normally don't test until after the first week. I was waiting until the weekend. Now you mentioned you found out a week before it's super tempting! I'm not sure if I would know that early though as I think my sister didn't get a positive until way after her missed period. I don't have any tests right now so will have to go to town. My blood test is next friday so I thought if I test Saturday onwards that'd cover it. Even without doing IVF I'm always rubbish at waiting during the 2 weeks... always convince myself I could be pregnant!


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## sparkler2020

Hey ladies 

Sadly it is the end for us, our eggy did not make it. As you can imagine I am very sad but it totally out of my hands. 
However we will try again as soon as we can, we are seeing the doctor tomorrow and hopefully that will be informative for us. 

I will keep checking back to see how you are getting on. Wishing you both lots of luck and TFMF hope you get that big fat positive on test x


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## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler - I am so sorry to hear this! That is so hard. I am so gutted for you. Take care of yourself and I hope the doctor's can come up with a better plan for round 2 x


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## sparkler2020

Tryingformyfirst said:


> Sparkler - I am so sorry to hear this! That is so hard. I am so gutted for you. Take care of yourself and I hope the doctor's can come up with a better plan for round 2 x


Yes I hope so. I am hopeful it will happen x


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## JoeyC

Oh really sorry to read this, gutted for you.
Hope you stay strong and focus on the next go.
Hopefully they can alter how they do things next time and learn from it.
just got to look at the first cycle as the warm up,pick yourself up and try again.
I can only imagine how hard that is, but a small part of me if preparing for it as know it’s always possible in this game.
Tfmf - get testing girl! first response, treat yourself for the weekend🤣
I’ve still got my positive pregnancy test from 6 years ago..it’s in my baby box and it was such a magical moment I can’t bear to part with it!
Bit gross i know!! I had to keep it as a memento after the 100s of negative tests.


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC My clinic said that I shouldn't test too early as the trigger shot you get given contains HCG so if you test too early you can get a false positive. I'm pretty confused now and not sure whether to do it anyway and just keep in mind it might be false. I would totally keep it as a momento! Having not seen a positive pregnancy test ever I can imagine it would feel amazing.


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## JoeyC

Ah yeah I was told that as I did a trigger shot when I did an IUI in April.
That still didn’t stop me testing though I am a serious addict!!
The trigger was gone 5 days after for me,i waited until then to test (which nearly killed me!)
I had hoped to have a positive and then test it out until it disappeared but that didn’t happen.
Just why I wanted to torture myself I’m not sure!!
I just can’t stand the not knowing,I’m soo impatient.
I know that it’s different for everyone though and depends how quick your body breaks it down.
You won’t believe it when it happens,I had to go and get two other tests to make sure.
Will never forget hubby’s face when I told him,it was so good.
Do let me know when you test.I love a success story but am realising now that they don’t always happen first time.
I really thought our IUI would work first time and was cross with myself after for being so sure.
I refuse to be so sure with the ivf and am trying to be open minded as to what can happen.
I think the biggest worry for me is how we are going to continue financially if we have to do another cycle.
Decided we will cross that bridge when we come to it but it is a worry.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Ahhh that is interesting that you only had it in your system for 5 days. I mean I hardly believe it will have worked. I just don't feel any different to usual. But then again the women in my family don't get pregnancy symptoms throughout their whole pregnancy. I tried asking my sister what to look for and she said she had no way of knowing. I really hope that it can happen! I am also very impatient... now I feel like I will test at the weekend after all. I like your idea that you test right at the start and wait for it to fade. Maybe something for next time (if there has to be one!) Yeah it's hard to stay grounded with ICSI - I move between thinking it will work to it won't work. It's probably best to just focus on one cycle at a time. Don't worry about the finances for the next just yet!


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## JoeyC

5 days is very soon for the tigger to be gone I think. I was fully expecting a positive still when I tested and of course I was even more gutted when it wasn’t there.
The clinic told us to wait for two weeks to test to be sure it had gone but I knew right away I wasn’t having that!The only thing I remember having before I tested when I was pregnant before was sore boobs!
That was literally the only symptom I had throughout the whole early pregnancy.
This is why i convince myself I’m pregnant most months because I tend to get it right before my period anyway.
If you test and it’s negative you know there’s always a chance your trigger has gone but your hcg levels haven’t gone up enough to be picked up on the test.
I guess it’s best to just wait until they say but it’s not easy not knowing is it.
Yes I’m sure we will sort something with the money side of it.
Someone said to me that the best advice for ivf is expect the unexpected and to take one day at a time and I think that’s pretty wise advice.
It’s stil hard to follow at times 🤦‍♀️


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## Tryingformyfirst

So I tested... but I dunno what to think to be honest. I have a faint 2nd line. My husband denied it existed but now says he can see it but still doesn't think it means anything. It could be that HCG is still in my system so I guess I just keep testing for the next few days. Just read online 10 days after trigger (where I'm at) can be a good time to test though... so fingers crossed. I'm kinda scared that tomorrow there is no 2nd line now.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Where are you at in your cycle JoeyC? How is it going?


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## JoeyC

A faint line is definitely better than no line at all. I literally had not a sniff of a line at 5 days past trigger so I knew the game was up.
Did you use a first response test?
no way of knowing if that’s the trigger hcg, all you can do is hope that if you test again in a couple of days it will be darker and not gone.
10 days past trigger is quite late for it still to be showing though so I’d defo take it as a good sign and your defo not out yet.
So I am 3 days into my stim phase now and it’s going ok.
I’ve had pretty bad headaches at times and I’ve had a period for over a week now.
Mine usually last about 3-4 days and it went away but came right back when I started stims.
I’m going to check with the clinic on Monday that that’s ok.
Im so tempted to google it but I know that I will freak myself out as I always do so I'm resisting the urge.
Finding doing the jabs ok tbh, just plodding away and getting on with it.
Bit concerned I seem to be on quite high doses,not sure why that is.
I took clomid for IUI and second cycle was cancelled due to too many follicles so im hoping that doesn’t happen again.
Our new clinic do know about this so I trust they have taken it into consideration.
Bit weird they have kept me on buserelin which I thought was only for down reg, going to ask why that is too.
I don’t like to keep asking as seems like I don’t trust them but I’m such a worrier at times.
Im really trying to relax but finding it hard.
I miss my wine, coffee and chocolate.
I gave so much up to lose a stone for ivf..been really trying to eat healthy and exercise every day.
Feel like if I do everything I can and we don’t get lucky I will feel like I’ve done everything I can to help.


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## Tryingformyfirst

I used a boots test as I heard those are quite sensitive. Yep will just test again in a couple of days. I guess at least I will know for next time when I can test from. Obv holding out hope it isn't from the trigger! 

Yes defo don't google anything - best to just check with the clinic. Everyone is an individual so what applies to one person might not apply to you anyway. I wouldn't worry about asking your clinic lots of questions! I think it's important to know why they have chosen to do certain things - plus ivf is expensive - you deserve to know! It's all a lot of pressure isn't it to get it right? I had a hard time during stims also as I was worrying a lot. But yeah just take it a day at a time and focus on what you need to do. I had my sister over for a few days to distract me which helped. So anything you can do to distract yourself for a bit!

Ah yes I also miss wine and still do! I was pretty good up until egg collection avoiding sugar but more recently caved and had a bit of chocolate and cake post transfer. I know I really shouldn't as my family has a history of diabetes during pregnancy and I know you need to try keep your blood sugar levels stable. I'm just a sugar addict. Well done on loosing a stone! That's really good and yes should up your chances 🤞


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC 

Well done very being so determined and giving up all your yummies 🤤 , I really hope you get a successful result this time. 
When is your next scan?


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC 

Why did you have a cancelled cycle?


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## sparkler2020

TFMF 

How exciting… you must be feeling so overwhelmed wanting to know! 
When will you get you recheck? 

We are going to try again a mild ivf cycle in a couple of cycles times. Hopefully we will have more success. So I can stay on this thread 😂


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## JoeyC

TFMF
Boots tests are my second fave after Frers,I’ve already got a box of 2 for a few weeks time 😂
I definitely feel a lot more pressure now stims have started.
I think it’s because I know collection is a major hurdle and it’s approaching fast.
That is typical me, worrying about the next thing as well as the task in hand 🤦‍♀️
I think ivf is such a stressful thing to do through for us all a bit of cake or a coffee here and there won’t hurt.
Shame about the wine as think that’s defo a no go sadly!

Sparkler
Good to see you back on here and of course you should still stay.
I do miss my goodies but I felt I needed to lose the weight I put on when I did the IUI in April.
Clomid is the devil and I’m so relieved these stims haven’t made me feel like I did then because I was such a ***** I’m not even joking!! 
The mood swings were unreal, how my hubby put up with me I don’t know.
So the first IUI failed and I started a second one, only to be told I was overstimulated and they needed to cancel.
Apparantly I had too many follicles over the line to proceed as they wouldn’t risk multiples.
The clinic were supposed to contact me to tell me what dose to switch to for the next cycle but I didn’t hear from them again!!
Can you believe they let a trainee do my IUI procedure and I didn’t even get asked if that was ok?
We didn’t think they were good at all so we binned them off and found another clinic to proceed with the ivf.
Such a lot of time and money wasted there but hey ho!
New clinic are bang on with everything,just how it should be.
Whereabouts do you ladies live?


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## Blodyn76

Crikey, this is a quiet month... I'm just signed up for my FET of the final own egg embryo next month, 3 months down regulation prior to transfer with no period, pelvic MRI in a fortnight and then good to go so long as nothing worse than the last one comes up. Secondary infertility Male and female factor these days compounded with being geriatric... 5 full stim cycles of IVF 2 septic miscarriages from these 5 rounds (8 miscarriages in total).


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## sparkler2020

Hi ladies

JoeyC
What are your meds they have you on? Are you saying your cycle was stopped because the risk of multiples.
As for the trainee scenario, did you pursue it with the clinic. 

The last few days for me have been a blur & very difficult, nothing prepares you for this. Maybe I was naive or trying to keep upbeat and positive as it should be.
This was my first cycle and I in myself am fine healthy just turned 38, our fertility issue is male. No problem we have ICSI woohoo! I have a regular cycle, don’t drink or smoke etc, this is going to be straightforward I thought.

Scans on nhs and multiple private in Uk revealed I have a fibroid but nothing of concern.
I went for a scan pre stims, stated the meds GonalF 250 then Cetrotide & Ovitrelle.
As you know I had 12 follicles which I was happy with, seems retrieval day was moved two days sooner as eggies are ready.
I know some follicles are smaller and no good but from the good ones only one egg retrieved. This was crushing as I read up and watched other people’s stories and knew more eggs more chance.

I was told the rest of my follicles had fluid and were empty, turns out I have low egg reserve in one ovary and the other from stimulation produced cysts in my ovaries which affected the condition of other follicles. Additionally my fibroid is a cluster of fibroids that are pushing my uterus to be misshaped.
My one egg was a M2, described as excellent so I kept hope knowing and thinking it takes just one. Sadly on day 2 the egg did not make it, i felt devastated. All this sadness came over me, it’s very hard to process the loss of your egg and suddenly in the clinic abroad them telling you the actual true state of my fertility.
I was still in bed recovering from retrieval day which needed bed rest but I was in discomfort. On top of that, on the day of egg retrieval that evening I started medication called utrogestan to be taken twice a day. The medication, day by day has worsened my level of symptoms, my doctor told me this affects some women in this way.
It has wiped me out, made me weak and unstable on my feet, bloated, worse of all causing disorientation with slurred and stuttering speech. I have to continue these for a few more days then my period will start.

My husband and I had a meeting with the doctor and he rescanned me to make sure I was cysts free and discuss what is going on and the next steps. My egg quality is a factor, plus my uterus could mean a unsuccessful pregnancy leading in miscarriage. He advised we try a mild ivf cycle which would produce fewer follicle (upto 6) but more eggs retrieved.
Other things such as still needing ICSI but the Geri incubator which is alien to me… any advice on this anyone?

I have repurchased my medicines for next time cheaper abroad and gives me a new focus, and have also decided to have a normal cycle before starting stims again.
I pray we are blessed with a healthy baby one I can carry and bring into this world.

If this does not work, the doctor suggested our options then maybe be donor egg and surrogacy. Which is just too overwhelming to process.


----------



## sparkler2020

Blodyn76 said:


> Crikey, this is a quiet month... I'm just signed up for my FET of the final own egg embryo next month, 3 months down regulation prior to transfer with no period, pelvic MRI in a fortnight and then good to go so long as nothing worse than the last one comes up. Secondary infertility Male and female factor these days compounded with being geriatric... 5 full stim cycles of IVF 2 septic miscarriages from these 5 rounds (8 miscarriages in total).



Your journey has been very difficult and a long one. I pray you have success this time around and get the baby you so want. X


----------



## JoeyC

Sparkler
I am on Buserelin (half dose since down reg scan) Ovaleap 225 and Menopur 75.
Ovritrelle trigger followed by Lubion and utrogestan.
First stim scan this Wed.
When my IUI was cancelled before I was on clomid but I had too many follicles that they classed as mature.
They told us it was their policy not to proceed as if all of those follies contained an egg we may end up with multiples.
We went home and tried ourselves anyway, not that we got lucky.
They were a terrible clinic all up,so much misinformation and miscommunication between staff.
They were supposed to contact me to go over how much to reduce the dose by for the next cycle and to this day we have never heard from them again!
As for the trainee thing, it was very hard to say no at the time when your right in position for the procedure.
Very unfair to tell me at that point I thought.
I never bothered to tell them it was out of order after as we had already decided that we didn’t want to proceed with them for IVF.
I am in Essex 😁
It must be hard for you to stay upbeat right now.
There’s such a fine line with being positive and then fully expecting it to happen isn’t there.
I’m really trying not to get my hopes up too much at the moment.
I remember being told I had loads of follicles before but who knows if any of them have an egg inside right?
I’m bracing myself for that potential outcome already. Won’t stop me feeling terrible if it does I know.
I’m gutted to hear you had one good egg and it didn’t make it,its so frustrating as you are healthy and doing all of the right things.
The symptoms on the utrogestan sound awful, I will be taking that.
They are pessaries right?
I had cyclogest before and they were pretty grim.
I have put all my future meds away until I need them so haven’t really looked. I didn’t want to think about it all at once.
I didn’t realise you could purchase meds abroad?
Our clinic just ordered it all from stork for us, it cost £1800 which I thought was way over the top!!
I think you are wise having bit of a break in between to give your body a rest.
I’m sure you will get there in the end, I’m praying you get what you want.
I honestly never thought it would happen for us but it did, and hopefully will again as our little boy is desperate for a sibling.
(A girl isn’t acceptable apparantly!) 🤦‍♀️
I’m not fussy at all, just want a result after the time, effort & money put into it.
I wouldn’t try to think about the donor/surrogate thing yet until your over this cycle a bit more.
I wanted to donate my eggs so badly to help someone else but they wouldn’t let me as said I was too old! (I’m 36, and they said their policy was that you had to be under 35)
Such a shame.
Is you AMH low or is the issue just the egg quality?
Mine was 16, they said that was pretty good but again does that mean I could still have lots of follicles that don’t contain eggs?
I’m not really sure how it all works tbh.
Best to just focus on getting better at the moment and picking yourself up for the next go.
Hopefully you can talk to your partner how you are feeling?
Keep your chin up xx


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## JoeyC

Blodyn
You sound like you have had some journey there and must be an expert in it all by now.
So sorry for your losses, I can’t imagine how hard that must be to keep picking yourself up time and time again.
Really hope you get there with your last egg, wishing you luck.
How long have you been ttc?


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## sparkler2020

You have to have a positive outlook, everyone’s experience is different, the side effects and experience.

Yes tough not knowing if you have the mature egg in the follicle but you must keep positive and and hope and I am sure you will have the success you so want. We just have to keep strong and be determined and have hope. 

I ordered my initial meds from fertility2u they were great and cheaper than most places.
I went abroad for my ivf and purchased meds for second cycle as cheaper. I got the prescription from the clinic so made sense as I know I want to try again soon. Ordering from abroad whilst here is expensive due to packaging of refrigerated meds. 
The NHS in my area don’t offer me any cycles annoyingly but did my initial tests, but ended doing private ones too as the clinic needed those post lockdown. 
Financially it made sense to go abroad for us plus they seem to have been so much more thorough and I hoped for a two embryo transfer to up my chances of one sticking atleast. 

Egg quality lower because of age and AMH 8.4 I think. It’s crazy to think donor eggs are only accepted from women of the age of 22-24 max at the clinic, I now get it. 
Wish I was wiser when younger and knew more back then, I just feel at that age your so young finding your feet in life.

The Utrogestan i am taking 400mg morning and 400mg evening, taken with water on empty stomach. I think I am a unlucky person who has the severe side affects.

Thank you for your kind wishes, I hope you get your healthy baby and your son I am sure will adapt and be happy in the end.
Your bad experience is behind you and now you seem content and on this exciting new journey once again. 

Yes I need a break and hubby has been brilliant, it’s a us journey and we will with love, prays, support and continue keeping hope get through this to our end goal of having our own little creation of baby to love and adore. 

I send baby dust to you all for 2022 babies yay!!! X


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## sparkler2020

TFMF how are you feeling? How is daily life going waiting in anticipation. What date do you get a confirmation. 
Praying for you x


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## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler - I'm so sorry you've had such a bad reaction to the meds and such a bad time of it overall! I feel for you and really wish I had advice to give. I think you are right in saying that once you are feeling better and have a clearer head you will be able to focus on next steps and the new cycle. Don't think about donor eggs just yet. I think doctors are often very fast to suggest that. It's certainly worth trying another cycle and a different approach as you may respond totally differently. 

I'm alright thanks! Just nervously awaiting my blood test. It's on Friday so a few more days to go. It really feels like the longest time. Thank you for thinking of me. I have done another test since and the 2nd line does appear to be getting darker so 🤞 🤞🤞 I keep being told by everyone to not get my hopes up though... 

*Blodyn76 *Welcome! Thanks for making it less quiet. Good luck starting down regs and your FET. It sounds like it has been a long journey for you - you are very strong and resilient to keep going - it must have been so hard! I hope this time you will get your baby.

Baby dust to all ✨


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## gamrguk77

Hi ladies. I had my donor egg transfered yesterday at day6. Another 6 had been frozen today. Fingers crossed as my cycle been cancelled twice already, doing this since April. Gotta test next Friday. Good luck to you all!


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## Tryingformyfirst

Good luck gamrguk77! Also 6 frozen is very good going!


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## sparkler2020

TFMF
thinking of you for your big day tomorrow xxx


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## gamrguk77

Tryingformyfirst said:


> Good luck gamrguk77! Also 6 frozen is very good going!


Oh, thank you! I purchased 6, then when they called me on thawing day, the embryologist said I've got 8! She said sometimes they can't separate them when selling. I would've been happy with 3 make it to the freezer but 6 really surprised me. I would love to know the age of the donor, but I only have the basic information about her....


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hey all - I'm afraid it's not great news. I am pregnant but my HCG levels are low. I'm going in for another blood test on Wednesday but it's not look too promising 😩 It's a milestone that I'm pregnant just very bitter sweet as it doesn't look like it will end well.


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## gamrguk77

Bitter sweet news.
Can they give you something to improve your HCG level?!


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## Tryingformyfirst

Not that I'm aware to. I don't know much about HCG levels at all. I did read something about immune meds but I have no immune problems as far as I'm aware. It's more likely that there is a problem with the embryo and that's why the HCG is slow to build. As far as I understand it if my levels rise too slowly it's an indicator that something isn't quite right with the pregnancy. They suggested maybe there was a chance the implantation was late although I'm not sure about that as I tested positive a week ago unless that was the HCG from the trigger. I guess there could have been overlap.


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## gamrguk77

You've said you'll have another blood test on Wednesday. So, could rise until? Don't give up just yet girl!
I don't know much about HCG level either. All I know is that the embryo release a hormon and it should start to rise drastically from the implantation day like hundreds to thousands within a day or two.
Let us know on Wednesday. 🙏❤🤞


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## sparkler2020

TFMF thinking of you and sending best wishes for Wednesday x


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## Tryingformyfirst

Thanks Gamrguk77 and Sparkler2020. I think my HCG is rising just a lot slower than expected but maybe that's normal for me... I don't know having never been pregnant before. My sister also had issues in early pregnancy at week 4/5 also (she was actually told she miscarried when she hadn't) so maybe I can just hope that in my family the pregnancy starts off a bit different to usual but everything is actually okay. I'm going to try hang in there and not give up hope.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF keep us posted 

How is everyone else getting on? 

I am finally feeling like myself again after the medication. Not looking forward to starting this over again but I will very soon.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hi all - so to my surprise I just got my blood test back and my HCG levels have risen normally!! They doubled twice in the last 5 days. So now my clinic are saying it was late implantation and not slow rising HCG. The confusing part for me was getting a positive test result a week before but maybe that was the trigger shot. The only way this makes sense is there was an overlap between the trigger and the pregnancy. I did have light spotting a couple of days before my HCG levels were taken - I remember thinking it weird as I thought I was already pregnant and that far too late for implantation bleeding. So I'm going to try and ignore all the strangeness of how this started and can finally be officially pregnant. They are not going to run anymore tests and I will just have an early scan. So I'm going to try take a week off worrying now and just hope for the best!

I'm glad you are feeling more yourself now Sparkler! Best of luck for when you start your next cycle.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF amazing so happy to hear your wonderful news confirmed.
Huge congratulations you are so lucky your first time to have success… enjoy your pregnancy and do keep in touch letting us know how you are getting on esp after your early scan. 

I am starting over again on my next cycle this time on different meds.
I thought it was important to have a normal period in between especially after the side affects of Utrogestan I was really bad with it. Just as well as my period was heavier this time.

Excited to start again, and even more nervous this time. Will keep you updated. X


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC how are you? 

How is everyone else getting on?


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## gamrguk77

TFMF,

That's great news, I am so happy for you!
Try to relax now and practice some self care, mindfulness or yoga.
When is your test? 6-7weeks?

Sparkler,

It was a wise decision. I waited 45 days for my period to come after the second cancellation to start this cycle. It was hard, but hope will worth it at the end.

I had no implantation spotting. Since Monday I feel tiny pains, pulling stretching and yesterday had a strong headache. Very thirsty all the time aka weeing a lot ( sorry TMI).

My OTD is tomorrow morning. I'm not eager to do one today. More like wanna delay it. Don't know why I'm feeling this way. Please 🙏 for me guys. X


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## Tryingformyfirst

Thanks Sparkler and gamrguk - I can hardly believe it! It's going to take time to sink in. And I know we were so lucky on the first round! I was so prepared for it to not work after only one egg fertilised... we'd picked out our next clinic. I think mindfulness or yoga is such a great suggestion.

Sparkler - I think having a period in-between is a great idea to makesure your body is in the best shape possible for going again. Also it would be so hard mentally to do another cycle straight away. I have no idea how other people manage it!

Good luck tomorrow Gamrguk I am crossing my fingers for you and you are in my thoughts!!


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## JoeyC

Hey everyone.
Huge congrats TFMF, it’s lovely to catch up on see your good news! 
Gamrguk I’m crossing my fingers fo another piece of good news today 🤞
Sparkler Good luck with your next cycle, so glad your having a break.
We are going to wait until new year if this cycle fails and we are lucky enough to get some embryos frozen.
So egg collection went well this week.
We had 8 eggs collected and 7 fertilised.
(1 wasn’t mature)
Just playing the waiting game until Saturday when they call us for an update.
Transfer should be Monday all being well.
Trying not to be too confident as realise anything can happen before transfer day.
Was pleased about how collection went though,I had great fun with the sedation 😂


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## gamrguk77

Thank ladies for your wishes. But it's negative here....


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## Tryingformyfirst

Im so sorry gamrguk - I can't imagine how you must be feeling. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions. This process is so unfair. Take care of yourself over the next few days.


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## sparkler2020

Gamruk I’m sorry about your news, I can only imagine how you must be feeling…
This is such a tough thing to go through, but I hope in days to come you will get your self together and go to forward planning your next steps. 
Sending you love x

TFMF 
When is your scan? 
Amazing news again you are truly lucky. 

JoeyC 
Wow that’s fab you had 7 fertilised eggs, did they predict how many you would have? 
Good luck for your call tomorrow, sending you happy positive vibes incl for Monday for a positive. 
Are you having a single embryo transfer? 

Btw one of you asked where about we live… no one answered 😂 (Hampshire here)


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## sparkler2020

Thank you all for the support about me waiting. Fortunately I am regular every 25-26 days, roll on cycle 2 soon. 

Praying it will be my turn and I can start my journey to be a mummy x


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## gamrguk77

JoeyC said:


> Hey everyone.
> Huge congrats TFMF, it’s lovely to catch up on see your good news!
> Gamrguk I’m crossing my fingers fo another piece of good news today 🤞
> Sparkler Good luck with your next cycle, so glad your having a break.
> We are going to wait until new year if this cycle fails and we are lucky enough to get some embryos frozen.
> So egg collection went well this week.
> We had 8 eggs collected and 7 fertilised.
> (1 wasn’t mature)
> Just playing the waiting game until Saturday when they call us for an update.
> Transfer should be Monday all being well.
> Trying not to be too confident as realise anything can happen before transfer day.
> Was pleased about how collection went though,I had great fun with the sedation 😂


JoeyC,

That's amazing news! 
Praying for you to get a good news today.
My donor eggs were fertilised on Wednesday, had 8, 7 started to develope. They called me on Saturday.
Said 3 are a bit slow but all doing well. Then they transferred the best looking one on Monday two weeks ago. The other 6 went to the freezer, 3 day4 and 3 day5 blastocysts. 

Unfortunately my test day was yesterday and it's negative. But I can't wait to the next FET day.

Wishing you good luck!


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC those are some great numbers of fertilised eggs! I hope your embryos are thriving. Have my fingers crossed for you!

Sparkler my scan is on the 18th so 2 weeks away! I'm just going to keep busy until then. Thank you I really can't believe we got that lucky!


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## JoeyC

Hey everyone, thought I would give you an update.
So out of our 8 eggs, 7 fertilised and 4 made it to day 5.
We used a grade A for transfer and managed to freeze a B and 2 Cs.
Got my first positive test 5dp5dt and again at 10 days.
Managed to keep it to myself until hubby’s birthday which was yesterday.
Was the best present ever for him and it was quite emotional as I wrapped up the test along with a little baby grow.
Now just waiting for scan which is 1st November and I’ll be 6w 3days.
Still very nervous and definately not fully relaxing just yet.
When I told the clinic they asked if I wanted to order all of the meds up until 10 weeks or just until the scan in case something is wrong!!
I didn’t have any idea I even had to stay on meds this long so a £650 bill and the thought of something happening definately took the jam out of my donut!!
Anyways great result, but as always there’s always a different concern isn’t there.
I just want to get off the meds and enjoy it but it seems like ages away at the moment.
TFMF, good luck on Monday for your scan.
I’m sure it will be fine, positive thinking!
I told the clinic I’ll have all the meds as I’m an optimist!! Also stork charge £52 simply for delivery each time so there was that as well.
Gameguk, so sorry you got a negative but it’s good that your focusing on moving forward with a FET, what stage are you at now?
Sparkler, how much of a break are you having before you start another cycle?


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC congratulations amazing news! So special how you told your husband to for his birthday… 
Ouch that is a sting but you do what you have to, what medication are you having to take? 

That is great news you have eggs frozen too, a very successful and positive cycle 👏🏽 😀 

I am starting my meds again this week, as you will see from my time stamp that I am wide awake in overdrive thinking and the nerves are kicking in. 
This will be a milder ivf cycle so praying for this to work this time. Different medications too so am nervous how my body will react after the last unexpected way it went. 

TFMF you must be so excited. Please keep us posted about your scan.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Congratulations JoeyC - that's fantastic! What a great IVF round! Aww and that sounds like a really amazing way to reveal the news. 

I'm afraid it's not great news from me. We had the scan today and the embryo is measuring a week behind. Which would be okay but the gestational sac is too small. When looking into it online it states an 80% chance of miscarriage if the sac is not more than 5mm bigger than the embryo (ours is only 2mm bigger). I've been asked to come do another scan in a week but been told to not be optimistic. To be honest there was something not quite right with the pregnancy from the start with the HCG levels so in a way I was partly expecting this. The only reason I'd felt lured into a false sense of security was the lack of bleeding or pain. I'm struggling to be positive on this one as you can tell! It's hard to be positive when I keep being told not to be by the doctors.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF 
I don’t know what to say, I can’t even comprehend how you must be feeling. 

Praying for the best for you and I praise your strength.


----------



## JoeyC

Oh I’m so gutted for you I really am.
I don’t know what to say either apart from I’m really sorry to hear this and you find the strength to get through it.
It’s a harsh reminder that things are never guaranteed in this game and there’s a reason why I’m still very nervous about it all.
I remember you saying about the hcg before, have you had issues with it before which was why it was checked?
They haven’t checked mine at all.
Its going to be awful wait for you until that next scan now without a doubt but hopefully they can give you some answers.
Such a shame the docs have told you to expect the worst but i guess that’s so you have time to process it all in advance.
I’m bracing myself even more for my scan now,it was already in my mind thanks to the clinic but now it seems so real 😢


----------



## Tryingformyfirst

Thank you Sparkler2020 and JoeyC for your replies and thoughts. I'm just seeing this as another step in the journey. I guess I have to accept this may not be the one but hopefully we are still getting closer. I have never been pregnant before so haven't had my hcg ever checked before. I think it's an initial test some clinics do to see that your hcg is at the right level and doubling every 2 days as it should. From what I'm gathering it's a good indicator as to if there is something not right with the pregnancy. When you did pregnancy tests JoeyC did it look like your hcg was doubling (the line getting twice as dark) every 2 days? I noticed mine looked a bit off in my first week. They were quite light and were getting darker but not as quickly as they should have. The blood test is basically a more advanced version of that. You could do a few tests yourself over the next few days to check yours. Also you can buy tests that say how many weeks you are. If they seem to be looking correct each week then you are good. 

I was told at my appointment that I'm dehydrated and that I haven't recovered from the IVF so I'm not sure if this has all something to do with it. But I will drink loads of water from now on and just hope that in a week the sac has grown. That's all I can do.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF 
You have done everything you could of to have a successful round at this. I hope your sac grows too, it’s just a horrible scenario to face.

This process is so much harder than when I undertook it, I’m sure you would agree. 
I’m not surprised, the nurses confirmation of recovery from ivf, it’s been so gruelling on my body I still don’t feel back to myself. 
I should be starting meds in next couple of days, Letrozol x3 a day and Pergoveris 75IU. 

I am feeling beyond anxious now 😞


----------



## sparkler2020

It’s all part of journey… we will get the outcome in the end ladies xxx


----------



## Tryingformyfirst

Good luck with starting your new cycle Sparkler! I hope this is the one for you 💗 But you are right this is all part of the journey! We will get there.


----------



## sparkler2020

TFMF How are you? Have you had your scan yet?


----------



## Tryingformyfirst

I'm alright thanks Sparkler. Been doing okay despite the circumstances. Scan is Wednesday. I think I've just about fixed my dehydration problem so I'm really hoping that makes a difference. I discovered that my potassium levels are very low and there is a link with that and how fluids are dealt with in your body. I was only getting 1000mg a day versus 4000mg. So I've also upped that and do feel a lot better. It may be too late but I'm hopeful. 🤞 🤞 🤞

As you can tell I'm an obsessive researcher and my only way of dealing with this is trying to figure out the route of the problem 😂 My mum had gestational diabetes with every pregnancy... so it's probably that. But low potassium can cause it so I just hope I fixed it.


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## Tryingformyfirst

An update. Sadly the embryos heart had stopped when we went for this scan. So likely it was chromosome abnormalities rather than dehydration. Just wasn't our time. I feel sad but I mostly expected this due to the early blood tests and previous scan. We want to get the embryo sent for testing - I'm seeing if this possible as it'd be good to confirm what went wrong. Not sure if we can though as need a doctor referral. I've messaged our clinic. 

I'm not planning to cycle again until next year now. I think they normally recommend a 3 month break after miscarriage to get back to normal. I'm also still dealing with waiting for this to pass naturally over the next few weeks or I will get a DLC possibly. I think I'm definitely in need of a break though so will try to focus on some none related ttc stuff for a while!


----------



## sparkler2020

TFMF
I am so sad to hear this news. I was rooting for you and thought you had come so far! I’m so sorry, your message comes across as you are very strong as a person. 
I am sure inside you must be feeling such great loss and sadness. I hope your doing better than when you initially sent your message telling us and I hope that you are taking care of of yourself as you go through this.
You are wise to give yourself a break, the body needs to adjust back I firmly believe this. 

Sorry I have seen your message so much later. I just have not been on.

I am have egg retrieval on Wednesday, very nervous! Scan showed 10 follicles and 6 good size ones, hoping I have more joy with eggs this time. Just can’t guarantee anything, 🤞🏽This is our cycle of success.


----------



## JoeyC

Hi,
I’m really sorry for your loss TFMF.
I am not doing too well myself.
We had our scan on Monday and I was measuring 6w and 6w3d and despite there being a fetal pole and sac there was no heartbeat.
They have us booked in for a rescan on 11th but we have decided we can’t wait until then so having a private scan this Saturday.
We are both feeling pretty gutted and think we are already dealing with the worst happening.
It feels the cruelest thing, I think I’d of simply had the cycle fail than become pregnant and have this happen.
Sparkler good luck with your new cycle, we defo need a bit of good news on this thread soon!


----------



## Tryingformyfirst

Thank you both. Yes it does feel like I got so far! I can only appreciate that I'd have never gotten pregnant without IVF so in a sense it's still promising and maybe it can go better next time. I am doing better now I've had time to process it all - I'm booked in for surgical management on Monday. Hopefully it will all go smoothly and I can get my body back to normal. I am actually looking forward to just having a break at this point.

I hope your egg retrieval went well Sparkler! I have my fingers crossed for you.

JoeyC - oh no! I'm sorry to hear you are not doing well. Could it not be just too early for a heartbeat? Hang in there - I don't think you are out just yet. I really hope you see a heartbeat on Saturday.


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC agree with TFMF I am hoping you have a little heartbeat, please let us know. The waiting period must feel like such a long time, I can’t even imagine. Really hope it will joy for you. 

TFMF I hope Monday goes smoothly no doubt will be a horrible experience.
It just was not your time, but it will be I am a strong believer in that.

I had my egg collection yesterday morning, I was very emotional and nervous knowing that despite having mature follicles nothing is guaranteed until they extract the eggs. 
Results were same as in my first cycle, one egg from 5 mature follicles. Seems my body will only give me one egg despite the stimulating. It is absolutely crushing!

I am staying positive and praying with everything, that I get at least one blessing that is my biological child.
I can’t quite believe we entered this with male factor fertility and it ends up that my reserve is low. I am healthy and have no medical conditions yet here I am. It is awful tbh I question all sorts in my mind can’t quite help it, but really trying to move away from those thoughts.

However I am remaining positive, today is day 1 we have our fertilised egg I pray we make implantation on Monday. Doctor has said to remain positive as my protein levels need to be good for implantation. 
I am really trying I know it only takes one.

This is where I am at for now…. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽


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## Tryingformyfirst

Oh no Sparkler! I'm sorry you only got one egg again  It is all so unfair. I really hope your egg makes it so you can have a transfer. It's good you are staying positive - best way to be. And yes it certainly only takes one! 🤞🤞🤞


----------



## gamrguk77

Hi guys,
I'm so sorry TFMF, I know how to u feel. The worst is knowing baby is not alive but still in your belly. Had the same, MCd at 8 weeks and found out the heart beat stopped at a private scan. Was heartbroken 😢
I hated myself after, my body kept reminding me of I was pregnant. Took some weeks off works then and slowly picked myself up as life had to go on. 
You'll be fine and feel better everyday. Take as much time you need, there's no rush. Some may find it easier to go back to work straight away, takes the mind off. 
Sparkler2020-my fingers and toes are crossed for you for Monday. One good egg is better than five not so good one. And you only need one to be pregnant!😊 So keep positive. 
JoeyC-I would have done the same thing, go for a private one. Hope there's a heartbeat tomorrow 🤞🤞🤞 maybe baby just too small or few days behind counting. Let us know. 
It is nice that we're all here for eachother, whatever happens. These are those things you can't talk about deeply with others unless they went through it or experience it now. 
I'm a bit sad because it's national infertility awareness week and it has brought back some memories. But also find it easier to talk about it as it's getting more and more media attention and support, and hopefully one day everyone's work place will also accept that being infertile is not a choice, doing IVF it's the only hope to have a family for some and also will give us the right to have time off when in need for appointments, or the transfer itself and don't have to hide behind sick calls. Because right now, I do. Don't know how you do ladies.
So, I had my period day scan Wednesday, lining is back to 1.2mm. It was nice to take time off from the drugs and having my body back lol. I believe all those supplements I am taking (exactly 12) are helping me to start building a nice, new thick lining and of course the courtesy of the new meds as well. 
Hoping for a good news on the 15th at my first monitoring appointment. 🤞


----------



## sparkler2020

Joey C 
How did you get on at the scan? 

TFMF 
How are you doing? 

Gamrguk77
🤞🏽 For the 15th for you


I had my last update on day3 and we had a 8 cell embryo which is great. Tomorrow is implantation day and hopefully the best news we could hope for praying and anxious tomorrow will happen. 
It is a tough rollercoaster of emotions.


----------



## JoeyC

Sooooo not the worst news but not the best either.
Still measuring at 6weeks (CRL 5mm) there was a heartbeat but it was slow..she said it might be because it’s only just started.
It’s touch and go basically but we are still not holding out much hope.
The lady who did the scan was a true professional who worked in a hospital and could not have been more thorough and understanding which we definately needed.
Saw so much more and the equipment was so much better.
Our clinic have been very unhelpful to us and considering just going back to have another scan privately in a week rather than going to them on Thursday.
I asked all week for the CRL measurement and a copy of the scan as I wanted them for Saturdays scan to compare.
The clinic came back on Friday and said that they didn’t have that info to give me,just said that the consultant noted the pregnancy measured 6w.
I watched the consultant take the measurements and print the scan so I know they have them..just being awkward I think.
Would have been useful to have that measurement so that we could see if there was growth..a 6w pregnancy can be 4or5mm so hard to tell what I was on Monday without them confirming.
We could definately see the embryo looked a lot bigger and could see the heart flickering so I guess now it’s just a waiting game.
I’m just going to add on another utrogestan,drink lots of water and pray 🙏


----------



## sparkler2020

JoeyC 
Praying for you that this has the ending of happiness.

I don’t understand why the clinic add extra stress to a patients in these circumstances by being difficult, I am glad the private scanperson was thorough and it makes all the difference.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽


----------



## JoeyC

Thanks for your kind words.
I really hope it all goes well for you tomorrow.
do keep us posted x


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## gamrguk77

Hey JoeyC,

Hold on to that little 🌟 of yours! Fingers and toes are crossed for you.
I did ask for my clinic which is private, to give me a copy of my results taken from a blood test and they wanted to charge extra for that. Isn't it cheeky?! I payed over £10K already for the treatment and the rest and they still want to get more skin off me 😟 I think we have the right to get and scan or blood test results for free tbh.

To Sparkler 2020,

Good luck to you darling for today 🤞🙏 take it easy for the rest of the day and drink a lot! Are you taking some supplements? X


----------



## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler - I really hope you made it to transfer and now have an embryo on board 🤞 🤞

JoeyC -  it's so awful being stuck in limbo like this. It sounds like you've had some good development in the week if the embryo looks much bigger! You are doing all you can do - you've made it this far. Just try to stay positive and hang in there (I know it's hard). Focus on some self care and try to keep your mind off it by staying busy or relaxing - whatever works for you. I will also be thinking of you and crossing my fingers.

I had surgical management yesterday. All went smoothly and I'm feeling well. Now and again I have shed a few tears but mostly I'm doing a lot better than when I first was warned of miscarriage right at the beginning of the pregnancy. In a sense I feel like I've gained strength from all of this and I'm still hopeful that one day we will get our take home baby. Before IVF I was falling into depression thinking it would never be possible. I think I have come a long way since then mentally. 

I'm planning to do IVF again beginning of next year so we have plenty of time for further investigations (my husband has gone to see Dr Ramsay to see if we can improve his sperm quality - normally it is better in the early Spring anyway as heat is an issue for him so maybe we just freeze a load in the Spring when he has better results). I also need to choose our next clinic as we probably need a more specialised treatment for our case.


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## sparkler2020

Hello everyone 
We made it yayyyyy!!! I can not express in words the emotions when the doctor told us. 
The build up to Monday was so worrying it’s like my heart was clenched tight and I could not breathe.
It is strange because those milestones are so stressful day 1, day 3 and the day 5 of embryo development. I am grateful my embryo made it, I honestly never thought it would happen with the one egg. 
I had my mindset ready to think I am done, I can not go through this again. I was ready to look a egg donation and thought it’s my only way of having the child I long for. 
The implantation did not go as we expected and it was extremely painful as my cervix decided to have no opening to allow the implantation.
I had no idea this was even a thing and don’t know why. But I was in pure fear as the doctor told me this news, I was thinking omg this transfer won’t happen. It did however with me taken to theatre and anesthetised.
I am now recovering from pain with a swollen belly, I don’t know how they do it but I have my embryo in me and I could not be more thankful.
I pray we get the happy news we want 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
The clinic was amazing and the doctor was amazing, I went into this with male infertility and have learnt so much from them that infact I myself have issues that is an obstacle. 

TFMF I pray you get your happy news in the new year. Hopefully it will take away some of this pain your are going through. I truly believe your time will happen.
I know how it feels to have the male infertility problems involved, I hope Dr Ramsay can help, I have read up on him in the past he seems to be the best person to help.
I don’t know how old you are, but don’t waste to much time waiting for sperm quality to improve.
Our clinic gave us results of my husbands sperm sample and ivf would be the only way for us. His morphology is not brill in sample test was 0% however has fluctuated in past to 3% at best (with supplements etc).

JoeyC how are you feeling? Is your scan Thursday if I am correct. 
Are you choosing yourself to up your dose of utrogestan?
I am on the same 400mg twice a day. 

gamruk77
Hope the meds are helping your lining. 
You are right it is nice we all have one another to speak too. 
It would be amazing for fertility appointments to be supported by employers, I have literally been taking holiday leave which is annoying but what other choice do I have. As you know I went abroad for my treatment. 
I know you wanted information drop me pm and let me know what you would like to know… don’t want to bore everyone with my experience of abroad clinic. If I am correct everyone is having treatment here, wish it was more of a option for me but they just did not offer what I was getting from abroad.

Sending baby dust to everyone, it will be everyone’s time incl mine when it is meant to be. 
Please keep me in your prays xxx


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## Tryingformyfirst

Sparkler - that's great news!!! Sorry you had such a difficult transfer! You must be so relieved to have your embryo on board. 

Yes I certainly don't want to waste time waiting for sperm to improve - I'm 33 but have a low AMH for my age. We tried supplements and diet and waited the 3 months but that made no difference for us. My husband had a varicocele embolisation about 6 months ago and I was way too impatient to wait for that (it takes up to a year for full improvement). We have seen improvement as this time last year we had virtually 0 sperm so IVF may have not even been an option! Where as now he averages 5 million. Sperm is weird - in my husband's case I think it's a heat problem. During the summer his numbers drop a lot and then in the spring it picks up again. The main concern for me is the miscarriage as I was told during our ICSI that my husband's sperm was just too bad quality. So I worry now that there is a lot of damage that can't result in a healthy embryo. I do have hope though as I know my husband's sperm is generally just way better in the spring so we will have to freeze a load then. We will see if Ramsay can discover anything else to help us improve the quality. My husband saw Ramsay a week ago and had all the tests so now we will go back in 3 weeks and find out if there is any possible extra treatment.


----------



## JoeyC

Hi all, thanks for all your kind messages of luck but sadly we got told there was very little growth and no heartbeat yesterday 😢
It was weird as the clinic told us there as just an empty sac and no embryo,yet when we went to then hospital later that day they found the embryo no problem.
I just don’t think their scan equipment is very good which is a bit of a worry!
So I’ve got to go back to the hospital in a week for another scan before they will give me any kind of medical management.
Think this is to give my body time to get rid of all the progesterone.
They really tried to talk me out of surgical management which I had already decided I wanted just because it would be quick.
They said this didn’t the case at the moment due to Covid wait times and also having to isolate 4 days before/covid tests etc.
I really didn’t want to have to see anything but looks like that’s the way it’s going.
We are heartbroken but trying really hard to keep things normal for our little boy,it was his birthday this week.
I know we will get there in the end, we have three embryos frozen so that’s positive.
To be honest I am looking forward to a rest from all of this.
I am in awe of people that have been doing it for multi cycles and have experienced so much loss and still have the strength to get back up and try again.
It’s been exhausting both mentally and physically, and once this really **** part is done with I hope to just enjoy all the little things again that IVF has taken away…
Namely No anxiety, sex and wine!!


----------



## sparkler2020

TFMF 
I hope that the results come back with positivity and you get a new direction to move forward with.

JoeyC
I am so sorry, you must be devastated understandably.
Plus this week wait period to add, I hope your finding strength through your little boy. 
It really is a blessing you have frozen embryos, hopefully the new year will bring good starts and you can try again. 
I know I tried after failing on my second cycle, soon yes but I just had wasted so much time previously.


I am 5DPT today I am so anxious keep thinking will I feel anything. It’s so hard to tell as I am still in some pain from the invasiveness during sedation. 
I have been reading up on other people’s stories and it is so confusing what I should maybe feeling or experiencing right now. 
Plus when should I try a pregnancy test. This wait period is just … well you all know! X


----------



## JoeyC

Thanks for replying.
Yes it is the worst feeling in the world I think.
Like gamrguk said it feels awful knowing it’s still there and out of sight really is out of mind.
I feel a bit like a ticking time bomb right now and just want it all gone.
Sparkler I tested 5dpt and got a positive, I say test.
You have nothing to lose. (Apart from possibly your mind if it’s negative and you have to wait longer which could be the case!)
I had pretty much no symptoms when I tested apart from really sore boobs..which I thought was the progesterone anyway.
TFMF
It’s good to read you will be trying again in the new year, do you have frozen embryos I can’t remember?
Did you send off the tissue for testing in the end,how do you go about that?
Trying to increase the sperm count sounds a good idea, have they said that was a possibility it had something to do with what went on?
I think if we do a frozen transfer we will consider the genetic testing just to make sure.It seems to be very expensive though 🙄
I’m not sure we could take having the same thing happen again.We had a grade A embryo transferred and it’s so hard to see what went wrong at the moment.
I don’t think we will ever know it’s just one of those things isn’t it.
im not convinced the grading means much if they aren’t tested because I know two people that had a grade A fail and succeeded with grade C frozens.
Only little comfort i can take at the moment is that this didn’t happen further along the line as the pain felt for that must be even worse.
Gamrguk
Good luck for your scan on the 15th,I admire your determination after so much bad news.
Did you ever have any testing done after your losses?


----------



## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC

I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I know exactly how you feel and it really is the worst. It was the same for me that feeling of being a ticking time bomb and not being able to get the closure I needed. It really is cruel knowing your embryo is still inside you. I feel we both got incredibly unlucky - next time must be our time. I totally got what you mean by it's hard to imagine doing back to back cycles... I think going from ivf to pregnant to miscarriage is incredibly draining. It's good to take a break to recover both physically and mentally. You have a really great chance with those frozen embryos but take all the time you need. 

I can't believe the hospital tried to put you off surgical management! It is the best choice out of a bunch of crappy options. Just don't let them give you those tablets.. I've heard terrible stories about them and people say they wouldn't wish them on their worst enemy. Do stand your ground on the surgical management - I've felt better since having it and have had minimal pain and bleeding. Also what nonsense about having to isolate before the covid test and long wait times. None of this applied to me. It was all very fast. I had my covid test on a saturday, isolated the weekend and had the surgical management on the Monday.

I don't have frozen embryos. We had a fertilisation problem during our round (it was a pretty disastrous round despite me getting pregnant!). Only 1 out of 6 of our eggs fertilised due to the sperm being bad quality. It's possible my husband doesn't have the chemical to fertilise the eggs. It means we need AOA where they add the chemical in. This is why I'm trying to choose a new clinic. Fortunately AOA is only £200 more - it's just the best clinic for this is UZ Gent (Belgium) and they have a bit of a wait list. We have a consultation booked with them in March and apparently after that it will go quite fast. I'm debating looking at London Care as I think they also do AOA just they have 50% fertilisation rates where as UZ Gent has more like 80%.


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC - just realised I never answered all your questions! So in the end I wasn't able to get the embryo tested. It is normally done through the hospital but they will only do it if you have had 3 miscarriages in the past. I also feel like I can't take it all happening again and felt tempted by getting embryos tested in future. Our embryo was also grade 1 (we were told beyond perfect as it was 10 cells) so yes I think the grading can't detect chromosome abnormalities. Yes I think in our case the sperm sample my husband gave on the day was particularly bad... it was during a heat wave and heat always makes his sperm die. So I think we need to steer clear of cycling in the summer/end of the summer in future.

Sparkler - in terms of symptoms I actually had some tingling in my stomach that was maybe implantation. But this isn't a commonly known symptom so might just be me! Other than that I didn't have much of anything. It's just really hard to know I'm afraid. I have my fingers crossed for you.


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## kezzywoo

Hi laides can i please join, i had double embryo transfer on tuesday 9th nov This two week wait seems worse than any i have had before, time is going so slow. I have been naughty and already been testing bfn of course. I did think that i saw a shadow of a line this morning but think it was just an evap line. 
Where is everyone at with their cycles? 
Kez


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## sparkler2020

Welcome Kez

Absolutely your welcome to join!
I had a failed cycle in September and have just had my second cycle. I had my 5day embryo transfer on Monday 8th November, just one day ahead of you. 
I have not tested yet mainly from nerves and not wanting any false positives or the other way around. 
My clinic advised 22nd November, I will be testing before them… it is such a long anxious wait.
Hope your shadow of a line is the happy news your waiting for…🤞🏽 
Oh wow to embryos, amazing I wish we had been in that position. I felt it was doubling the chance if we could of, but praying for this to be it and be our blessing.


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## sparkler2020

TFMF 

It is strange as I have cramping, and as the days are going on my pain has eased off. 
I knew I would have pain from the way my transfer was done, I mean I cried doing my pessaries the next 24hours after implantation. Ouch!

I have had no spotting or sore boobs… it really is the worst wait as you know.

TFMF have you had any clearer thoughts on when you will try again. Will you still go through NHS or private.


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## sparkler2020

Actually I get out breath but that is the progesterone


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## sparkler2020

Joey C 
Thanks I may test tomorrow. 
I wish I had some feeling or sense of knowing a change but it’s hard to determine as my cramping is still present. I get the odd sharp twinges but connect that to my body healing again.

I did not realise AOI was a thing, it’s so much pressure. You must be on overdrive I would imagine, be gentle with yourself.

I really hope we all get our babies we so long for soon….


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## gamrguk77

JoeyC said:


> Thanks for replying.
> Yes it is the worst feeling in the world I think.
> Like gamrguk said it feels awful knowing it’s still there and out of sight really is out of mind.
> I feel a bit like a ticking time bomb right now and just want it all gone.
> Sparkler I tested 5dpt and got a positive, I say test.
> You have nothing to lose. (Apart from possibly your mind if it’s negative and you have to wait longer which could be the case!)
> I had pretty much no symptoms when I tested apart from really sore boobs..which I thought was the progesterone anyway.
> TFMF
> It’s good to read you will be trying again in the new year, do you have frozen embryos I can’t remember?
> Did you send off the tissue for testing in the end,how do you go about that?
> Trying to increase the sperm count sounds a good idea, have they said that was a possibility it had something to do with what went on?
> I think if we do a frozen transfer we will consider the genetic testing just to make sure.It seems to be very expensive though 🙄
> I’m not sure we could take having the same thing happen again.We had a grade A embryo transferred and it’s so hard to see what went wrong at the moment.
> I don’t think we will ever know it’s just one of those things isn’t it.
> im not convinced the grading means much if they aren’t tested because I know two people that had a grade A fail and succeeded with grade C frozens.
> Only little comfort i can take at the moment is that this didn’t happen further along the line as the pain felt for that must be even worse.
> Gamrguk
> Good luck for your scan on the 15th,I admire your determination after so much bad news.
> Did you ever have any testing done after your losses?


Hey JoeyC,

Just to answer your question, yes I did have my second natural pregnancy loss tested. Normally they won't do it, I mean NHS, they only do it after 3 MCs, when they call it reoccurring MC. But my ex husband was so adamant and pushy, somehow achieved to get the baby remains tested. It came back as trisomy I think the chromosome 13, so basically abnormality. But it didn't help back then, I was still devastated. Later on of course, I understood it was for the best and loosing it earlier than later, also.
Get yourself a good rest physically and mentally, talk to someone, a friend or a councillor, it will get easier by time. Sending you hugs and kisses.


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## gamrguk77

kezzywoo said:


> Hi laides can i please join, i had double embryo transfer on tuesday 9th nov This two week wait seems worse than any i have had before, time is going so slow. I have been naughty and already been testing bfn of course. I did think that i saw a shadow of a line this morning but think it was just an evap line.
> Where is everyone at with their cycles?
> Kez


Hiya Kezzywoo 👋
Welcome to the group. 
Double trouble? Good luck, hope you'll get your rainbow baby or babies. May I ask what reason they transferred two embrios for you please? I did ask my private clinic and they didn't suggest it, not even the second time. I'm doing donor egg treatment and I know this time the donor's age is the relevant not mine but still. I'll push them to try two next time if I will need a third transfer- but fingers cross I won't need it.
Also, is your clinic in the UK or abroad?


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## gamrguk77

sparkler2020 said:


> Joey C
> Thanks I may test tomorrow.
> I wish I had some feeling or sense of knowing a change but it’s hard to determine as my cramping is still present. I get the odd sharp twinges but connect that to my body healing again.
> 
> I did not realise AOI was a thing, it’s so much pressure. You must be on overdrive I would imagine, be gentle with yourself.
> 
> I really hope we all get our babies we so long for soon….


Hey Sparkler,

I also had some tiny tingling last time after my transfer for a week. I thought it was a good sign. It was sometimes like a pull and stretch pain as well.
Then on the second week wait, something had changed. My boobs weren't sore that much anymore and there was no tingling...I was afraid to test early and face with the BFN so I did just in the right time. Hope I'll be lucky this time .
Let us know if you brave enough to do an early test 🤞🤞🤞


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## sparkler2020

I tested this morning day 7 of transfer was negative. I really felt and was hoping for a faint line, it’s been on my mind all day. 
yesterday I was feeling cramping etc and just felt different.

I’m hoping and praying it will change.


----------



## JoeyC

Thanks to you all for your kind words and all the info.
I’m finding it really hard to make sense of it all at the moment and just feel so sad.
I guess this will pass after a while, I just need things finalised now as just feel we have been in constant limbo one way or another since transfer day!!
Just need someone to tell me something definite now, not sure how much more uncertainty I can take I can’t wait for a break!
Sparkler..that’s rough you got a negative.
Was really hoping you would get some good news..maybe you still will though as the embryo hasn’t implanted yet.
Early results only come for some people and others really do have to wait the amount of time the clinic advise.
Don’t give up just yet, your defo not out.
Welcome kezzywoo.. have you tested yet?


----------



## JoeyC

Tryingformyfirst said:


> JoeyC
> 
> I am so sorry to hear of your loss! I know exactly how you feel and it really is the worst. It was the same for me that feeling of being a ticking time bomb and not being able to get the closure I needed. It really is cruel knowing your embryo is still inside you. I feel we both got incredibly unlucky - next time must be our time. I totally got what you mean by it's hard to imagine doing back to back cycles... I think going from ivf to pregnant to miscarriage is incredibly draining. It's good to take a break to recover both physically and mentally. You have a really great chance with those frozen embryos but take all the time you need.
> 
> I can't believe the hospital tried to put you off surgical management! It is the best choice out of a bunch of crappy options. Just don't let them give you those tablets.. I've heard terrible stories about them and people say they wouldn't wish them on their worst enemy. Do stand your ground on the surgical management - I've felt better since having it and have had minimal pain and bleeding. Also what nonsense about having to isolate before the covid test and long wait times. None of this applied to me. It was all very fast. I had my covid test on a saturday, isolated the weekend and had the surgical management on the Monday.
> 
> I don't have frozen embryos. We had a fertilisation problem during our round (it was a pretty disastrous round despite me getting pregnant!). Only 1 out of 6 of our eggs fertilised due to the sperm being bad quality. It's possible my husband doesn't have the chemical to fertilise the eggs. It means we need AOA where they add the chemical in. This is why I'm trying to choose a new clinic. Fortunately AOA is only £200 more - it's just the best clinic for this is UZ Gent (Belgium) and they have a bit of a wait list. We have a consultation booked with them in March and apparently after that it will go quite fast. I'm debating looking at London Care as I think they also do AOA just they have 50% fertilisation rates where as UZ Gent has more like 80%.


What are these pills you speak of?
The hospital said that if I go for second scan on Thursday and there’s been no bleeding they can give me a pessary to help speed things up,is this what you mean? 
Ive had someone tell me that they had the pessary and it didn’t work so then had to have the surgery in the finish.
I might just see how long the wait is as I can’t stand it much longer…


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC - I think the tablets are the same as the pessaries. There is an oral option also but both are to bring on the miscarriage quicker. It's supposed to be very painful and sometimes doesn't fully work. When I was deciding what to go with I read online a lot of people saying the tablets were awful so that really put me off. I'd hold out for the surgical management if you can. I guess they haven't given you an idea of when that'd be?

Sparkler - Don't count yourself out just yet! I really hope a second line shows up for you soon.


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## JoeyC

I have spoken to a couple of people who have had the pessary and they both said the same..painful and didn’t work.
They wouldn’t give me any idea before as said I had to wait a week for second scan.
She was really trying to put me off as said slots are limited and have to isolate for 4 days before.
Only thing that’s troubling me is that some happy helper told me that it could leave scarring in the womb that could affect future transfers..this has scared me and is now stuck in my head.
Amongst other things..namely thinking that all my frozen embies are going to have something wrong with them.
Today hasn’t been a good day for me mentally,probably because I know Thursday is coming and I’ve got a feeling im going to get fobbed off.
Sparkler.. when are you testing again? Official test day of before?


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC - I'm afraid there is no good option. Yes I know about the potential scaring too... although the odds are low of that happening. Plus the one person I know of that it happened to actually conceived just fine not long after. Even if you go for natural and decide to wait it out that can be painful and also go very wrong. My sister-in-law was in hospital with haemorrhaging when she had a natural missed miscarriage and it was absolutely awful. Basically the surgery is just the best out of a bad bunch of options.

I really hope they don't fob you off! That seems very unfair... I can't believe how differently you are being treated to how I was.


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## Tryingformyfirst

Also don't worry about your frozen embryos! You've already had one child - that's a sign that this was probably just a one off and one of those frozen is your baby! Miscarriages are sadly super common. 1 in 5. But that still means the odds are in your favour. I know exactly how you are feeling though. I was in the same head space as you a couple of weeks ago. It will get better. I promise you.


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## sparkler2020

Hi 

I honestly am thinking of everyone, it is extremely tough but we are all in this to eventually get the end goal.
The trials and tests mentally and physically are so challenging.

I have not tested again, too nervous and scared to. My test date is the 22nd so will see if I get my period, trying not to look into it too much or stress.

In the meantime I know we are all at such different and difficult stages but i am sending you all support and love, so glad we have one another xxxx


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## sparkler2020

Just wondering if anyone can share their implantation bleeding story please


----------



## JoeyC

Hi Sparkler,
I didn’t have any to speak of both times.
I wish I could be more helpful.
I am really wishing for some bleeding right now
though and nothing is happening 🙄 talk about Sod’s law 🤦‍♀️


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## JoeyC

Tryingformyfirst said:


> Also don't worry about your frozen embryos! You've already had one child - that's a sign that this was probably just a one off and one of those frozen is your baby! Miscarriages are sadly super common. 1 in 5. But that still means the odds are in your favour. I know exactly how you are feeling though. I was in the same head space as you a couple of weeks ago. It will get better. I promise you.


Thanks for this.
I am sure things will get better in a few weeks but right now it’s very hard to imagine as you know.
Just got to give it some time as it really is the best healer.


----------



## sparkler2020

Hi 

I have not been feeling great last few days with on and off nausea, vomiting, as well as some bleeding.
I started with implantation bleeding (brown coloured) then sadly it followed with red blood, it was a heavier flow and I was sure my period started. However it lasted only about 3 hours and then it all went to odd spotting of brown. 
Nausea continues have not tested as my test date is next week, don’t want to be get a false positive. Very nervous and anxious my body is controlling my whole day with headache and lack of appetite and nausea. 
Any advice please


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## JoeyC

Well my advice would be test again in the morning just simply because I’ve always got such an early positive.
I realise this advice isn’t great though..but it’s what I would do.
I realise I’m just not very sensible when it comes to testing.
In my opinion there is no such thing as a false positive..only a false negative at this stage. Is that what you meant?

The nausea sounds very promising though I have to say.. the bleeding not so much.
Could be a implantation bleed though..how many days post transfer are you 10?
Still totally possible for it to be a late implanter hence why negative 3 days ago.
Hang in there x


----------



## sparkler2020

Yes 10 days today. 

I actually did not realise this before, but I was informed by my consultant that I may bleed from progesterone. I was clearly still in a state of coming around from sedation 😟
I feel more relieved I can not express the sense of relief after my day today. 

Testing is so nerve racking after Sunday’s test. But you are right I want to do it with my husband and he is away. May hold on to the weekend.

The nausea is def strong and it’s taking over a fair bit. I keep biting on dry biscuits to help. Any suggestions or advice on this.

Joey C how are you doing? X


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hi Sparkler

Your symptoms do sound promising. I didn't really get implantation bleeding myself so can't help there. I just had a little spotting (only a couple of drops) and that was it. I didn't get nausea until I was 6/7 weeks. Plain biscuits are a good choice. I ended up buying those anti sickness travel bands in the end and that worked for me.

10 days is a good time to test though but I can understand you wanting to wait to do it with your husband. You really do have self-control! I couldn't have helped but have tested loads by now.


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## JoeyC

Hi all,
Well I was right about getting fobbed off.
I insisted I wanted the surgical management at the hospital today and was told it was a 2 week wait for a slot!!
Ended up going for the dreaded pills because I didn’t know what else to do and figured it was better than waiting all that time.
Currently in lots of pain and waiting for the bleeding to start.
Just hoping my cervix behaves itself as it didn’t play ball in labour and took 36 hours to dilate! Pretty close to rock bottom here right now so only way is up 😱
Really hoping for some good news at the weekend sparkler..no pressure!!


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## sparkler2020

Hello

I am sorry it ended with this, that would of been a long wait. If I could hug you I would, I can’t even imagine the despair and pain. 
I would just say feel how you need to with your emotions, it’s important to talk and have a cry. I pray this passes soon for you, know we are here if you would like to have a moan or chat etc

I feel so weird talking about me when you are going through this right now. 
I have had bleeding on and off and nausea is still very present, only thing helping is to keep nibbling a bite here and their of a cracker or biscuit. 
After speaking to my clinic, I have not upped my dose of progesterone and I have a blood test at my gp tomorrow and another on Monday.
The gp was very good and arranged for me to come in immediately considering they have no records of my private treatment. 

I am praying for good news am so nervous as you can imagine. I do feel like I am pregnant let’s hope it is what I am feeling. 
I just hope the nausea does not remain for long.

Sending love to you all


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## JoeyC

Two weeks is such a long time and I just thought we may as well get the ball rolling.
It isn’t what I wanted but like trying said the options are all pretty crappy at the end of the day.
I figured if I’m lucky the pain wouldn’t be too bad and it might be nearly over before I even get a look in at surgery.
Worst case is I’ll still need it anyway but least I felt like I’ve done something today that’s going to help progress towards feeling better.
I think we are going to have some counselling as a couple after this, I am a tough cookie normally and can honestly say I’ve never felt so hurt.
I’ve never seen hubby so upset as he has been either and I don’t want a divorce on top of everything else. So hard to let all these emotions out as got to keep up appearances constantly for our little boy.
Don’t be silly, some good news will make me feel so much better and all you ladies deserve success probably more than I do as we already have a child.
Im so hopeful for you, if you feel pregnant then you likely are.
Sickness is the best sign you can get, your luck is in I think 🍀


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## sparkler2020

I am hoping you get through this stronger on the other side, it is really unfair. I do hope you and your partner manage to get the help you need from seeing a councillor, it’s a rough ride and it will only help. 
It is lovely you have a little boy, I am sure he makes your days brighter and makes you pick yourself up and carry on.

I hope I get good news but I don’t want to overthink it. I know the progesterone medication I am taking can give you these symptoms of nausea? Bloating, headache etc almost like your pregnant. 
Who knows, but the blood test will confirm this for me.
I am so nervous slightly scared too of what will be the outcome.


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## Tryingformyfirst

JoeyC - I'm sorry to hear they wanted you to wait 2 weeks! I don't blame you for taking the tablets - I'd have probably done the same. How are you feeling now? I hope the worst of it has passed.

My husband also took this all really badly. I mostly guarded myself a lot as I knew from the beginning due to the blood tests that it wasn't looking promising where as my husband was always the optimistic one... it meant that he grieved a lot later than me. He is doing better now but we just take it day by day. It is all such a stress on a relationship!


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## JoeyC

Sparkler.. good news please?
I’ve had an awful day.. literally everything came out today. Omg the pain and blood was unreal I had to call the epu to check it was normal and they said it was.
I had previously thought there hadn’t been enough following the meds on Thursday.
I’m now pretty confident it’s all gone and if it hasn’t then I might have a breakdown.


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## sparkler2020

JoeyC
I’m so sorry 😞 it must of been awful. How are you feeling today?
Keep strong x

I did a home pregnancy test on test day and was negative, I have full on period and no more symptoms as I did in previous days.
waiting on blood test, no hope held.


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## sparkler2020

Only part of my blood test is back the progesterone is normal. Still waiting on hcg but what is point I know what it will be.
Such a crappy feeling for now.


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## JoeyC

I’m not too bad,went back to work last night and although I feel really drained it did keep my mind off of things.
I am praying that everything is clear on the scan on the 29th so that I can properly start healing both physically and mentally.
Fresh month, fresh start. That’s the plan anyway.
So sorry you got a negative Sparkler.
Was really hopeful for you..
What does the progesterone blood test mean,it’s normal for not being pregnant?
Is there no chance you can get a positive on a hcg blood but not a home test?
Stranger things have happened?
Keep your chin up..you never know until the dreaded words are spoken x


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## gamrguk77

sparkler2020 said:


> JoeyC
> I’m so sorry 😞 it must of been awful. How are you feeling today?
> Keep strong x
> 
> I did a home pregnancy test on test day and was negative, I have full on period and no more symptoms as I did in previous days.
> waiting on blood test, no hope held.


I'm so sorry Sparkler 🥺. I m thinking of you. 
When I've got my negative in October, I didn't listened to what they said, to keep taking meds and do more tests. I knew it won't change the result, so what's the point to continue?! I was stubborn.
The feeling will pass, just as your period and the pain. It will get better with time and there's no rush. Look after yourself, treat your body as it went through a lot. Sending you hugs. X


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## sparkler2020

Thank you gamrguk77. I officially got the big negative from blood test. 
I don’t know but someone how that makes it so official and the feeling of sadness creeps in more.
I know we will get past this but for now I am upset and just feel crappy.

the next big hurdle is deciding what is the next step…

How are you all doing? Any thoughts on what is next m? 
gamrguk77?
JoeyC? 
TFMF?


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## Tryingformyfirst

Hi all

Sparkler - I'm so sorry your blood tests came back with disappointing news! I'm gutted for you. I hope you are taking some time to heal. Just focus on yourself. It's hard to think clearly when you are going through it all. I actually feel better now I've had some time to reflect and a bit of a break.

JoeyC - Glad you are feeling a bit better - Fresh month, fresh start. That's always the best way to think of it! It's so good you have your frozen embryos as when you are ready you can try those.

Gamrguk77 - How are you doing? Are you planning to try another frozen embryo?

I'm doing well - I feel like this has been an awful experience but I'm stronger for it. I've been trying to decide between clinics and have concluded that I will wait and go to UZ Ghent. I think we really need the specialised treatment there (AOA) for our fertilisation issue and it's just not as effective in any UK clinics. They do have a bit of a wait so we don't have a consultation until the beginning of March but I think it's better to wait and have a better chance at a good cycle. So for now I'm just taking a few months out.


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## gamrguk77

Hi ladies,

Thank you Sparkler to asking about.
I didn't have a really good few weeks. I caught Covid. As I still didn't have the vaccines (was just never a good time due to treatment) I suffered a lot with it. All the flu symptoms, sinus symptoms and covid symptoms came in the same time. The weird thing was that I completely lost my appetite as well. No smell, no taste, fever, weakness, tiredness ( was sleeping 10-12 hours), runny nose, headaches, shaking, muscle pain etc.
And it put my transfer into a possible jeopardy. 
But, I'm happy to say, we went ahead with a new FET after a third "good to go" negative test. So I'm 3 days after transfer. The dreaded 2WW started again.

TFMF- I think it's a good idea to give your body a rest until you can start to R new treatment abroad. They say you need 3 months to be all clear from the hormones. Look after yourself and your temple. 
Xxx


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