# Need some help, so stuck :(



## Carls305 (Aug 30, 2012)

Hi ladies  

I'm really struggling at the moment and i'm finding it hard to cope. I need to get my BMI down to 30 to be allowed to have fertility drugs and at the moment it's 34.

I had been doing really well, I did a detox and lost 13lbs in 9 days! Which was incredible, I was so pleased! I did daily exercise and carried on with a follow on plan and was doing really well! But since then I've become ill. I've always suffered with random stomach pains, doctors put it down to IBS after failing to find anything on any tests I had, but recently the pains have got a lot worse, so worse that I couldn't physically move. It's been so painful that I couldn't eat and I couldn't exercise. It affected my work life and my personal life so much and the baby making is really off the table at the moment    

The doctor has given me strong codeine and paracetamol to ease the pain which helps but only if I take them regularly with Buscopan, 8 Zapain and 8 Buscopan a day. The tablets help the stomach pain but sometimes give me headaches and foul moods and make me incredibly tired and lethargic. 

I'm scared to exercise because I don't want to stretch my stomach and hurt it more until I find out what's casuing the pain and what I can do about it (i'm currently undergoing tests) My partner and I haven't had sex since God knows when and it's really getting me down as the weight is going back on again! I keep eating cra*p aswell. I can't help myself which is really bad but then I've always been a comfort eater   

It's so hard for me. Everytime I get on track and I do really well, something always goes wrong! I was doing amazing, losing weight healthily and exercising daily and took myself off of my anti-depressants but now everything is sh*t again and i'm so upset. I can't do anything until I find out what's causing my stomach pain and I can't stop eating because it's making me depressed again.

I want a baby so much and it's killing me   My partner keeps going on at me about losing weight because he want's a baby so much too, we've already chosen names and keep imagining what she/he will be like but it seems more like a fantasy than reality at the moment. I've let my partner down   it's all my fault that we can't have children and I feel so guilty, i'm always horrible to him because I want him to leave me because he deserves better, he deserves a family and he deserves to be happy! If you love them, let them go right? But he won't leave me. I'm glad of this of course because I couldn't live without him but I just feel so guilty  

Please help me,

A very upset,
Carls xxx


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## kandykane (Nov 17, 2008)

Oh Carls! I don't know how to make things better for you but didn't want to read and run    It sounds like you need to sort out your stomach pain before you can do anything else. I truly understand the desperate longing for a child though, the way it tears you up inside, I know how it hurts    I know I've been blessed with my DS now but I still remember that awful pain of having empty arms   
Look at it this way, you know you *can* lose weight as you've done it before. So once you have got your tummy pain sorted out you can go back to your diet/exercise which you know works. In the meantime you could try to minimize the comfort eating damage, maybe have a hot chocolate instead of a bar of chocolate? Or dried fruit instead of sweets?


Good luck honey


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## Michimoo (Oct 13, 2011)

First of all Carl's I wanted send you a big virtual  
This whole process is very hard & it can be difficult to see the woods for the trees sometimes.

I too am struggling to lose weight and have tried fad diets but then I just eat junk afterwards! 

13lbs in 9 days is amazing. How did you do that?

If you are in pain there is no point causing more by not eating. You need to get well first.

I had a stomach issue 3 years ago which lasted months. I couldn't stop being sick & no one could diagnose me. It got so bad that we missed our flight to visit my parents that Christmas as I couldn't leave the house as I was continually throwing up. 
Things slowly returned to normal naturally in the end but at the time it was terrible.

One thing I can suggest is just replacing a couple of nights carbs for salad. So, for example have meat & salad one night instead of meat & chips. Also when you are thirsty replace the fizzy drink for a glass of water.
This is what I did & it really made a difference.

Hey maybe we could diet together for a couple of weeks virtually? I could try your 9 day diet?  

M
Xxx


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## MissT (formally MissTurneriffic) (Mar 10, 2012)

Oh Carls you sound exactly like I did a few years back. 

My BMI was 34 and I had just come off anti depressants as had been on them for 4 yrs. my doc wouldn't refer me for fertility testing until my BMI was 30 or under. I had just been diagnosed with pcos ( which makes it easy to put on weight and harder to lose it) and all I desperately wanted was to be a mummy. I knew I needed to lay off carbs with pcos so I went on the Atkins diet and lost over a stone in two weeks but then went away for a few days with my fiancé and put it all back on again in 4 days. I hated myself.

I started going to WW. I needed help and support and couldn't do it alone. WW really helped me and once I had lost almost two stone I started jogging (something I had always hated) and lost another 2 stone. My doc referred me for fertility treatment and it turned out that with the losing weight I started ovulating on my own and got pregnant naturally. I did lose the baby but it showed me I could finally get pregnant. Something I had been trying for years to do without success. I won't say it was easy and quick as it wasn't. It took almost a year to lose 4 stone and I got my BMI to 27.

I hope you sort out your tummy pain soon and then I would recommend that you see your doc again. Did you wean yourself off the antidepressants slowly or go cold turkey? It may be that you needed to come off them more gradually than you did and it may help to go back on a much smaller dosage than you were on and just see if they help. Also take up a form of excersise as this is a great natural anti depressant and I always felt great after a run even though I felt my life was crap and i felt like I'd never get there.

I hope it's just a short lived low moment you are having and you go back to your more positive outlook soon.

Take care of yourself and good luck. You will get your dream xxxxx


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## Carls305 (Aug 30, 2012)

Wow ladies you've made me feel so much better 

Kandykane - thank you for the bit you said that I can lose weight, made me feel not so hopeless  , I'm trying to cut down on my food but when I feel like this I usually eat or do something silly :-/ I had got myself in a great routine and now the pain has just ruined it! Xx

Hi Michimoo - how awful your problem made you miss your flights! I'm missing a lot too because of this I stay home most of the time. Only just making it through work with the painkillers but I hate relying on them. As for the weight loss, I recently joined a health & beauty company for extra money and they do a weight loss programme so thought it was worth a go and I lost 13lbs! Was so happy but it feels like I've ruined it all now  I'm a veggie so I tend to eat quite healthy meals but my work routine has thrown me out of balance with food so I keep snacking when I shouldn't  xx

MissTurneriffic - wow, your weight loss is incredible! So happy it worked out for you  I couldn't face weight watchers, I'm not a great fan of people! Haha I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to everyone about my exercise and eating habits tbh. I did wean myself off the anti-depressants slowly. I wasn't on them long so it wasn't too bad. I hate taking tablets and now I'm relying on paracetamol and codeine it's doing my head in! As for the exercise, I don't want to risk upsetting my stomach further until I get a diagnosis but I do go swimming once a week so at least that's something I suppose xx


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