# new to this, had cancer and am now infertile



## needhope (Jan 11, 2012)

hey, im sara. im 21 and new to this sort of thing.
today i was told i am infertile due to scar tissue surrounding my ovaries, after 3 major surgeries for cancer aged 16. me and my partner had been trying for a baby naturally, for over a yr. 
as well as scar tissue i also have an ovarian cyst on my right ovary...6.9cm in size and suspected of being cancerous.

i am struggling to accept the news, and joined this site in the hope that ppl wud reply and advise me or give me their opinion, or recommend ideas??

my partner has a lovely child from a previous relationship and although i love him to bits, i long for a child. 

any support wud b appreciated, sorry for going on and on bout myself

thanks xx


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## Jelly.B (Sep 27, 2011)

needhope - just wanted to say hi... you have certainly been thru alot hun   I dont think I can give you much advice but always here for a chat. Sure you will meet plenty of ppl here to talk to and who might be going thru the same thing or has been there.

Never say sorry for *going on* that is what this site is for  

Did the doc tell you what might be the next step for you going forward? 

xxx


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## kelle28uk (Jan 8, 2012)

big big hugs to u huni sounds like u have been thru a horrific ordeal already and then to be told ur infertile and possibly have more cancer is a huge blow! i cant give advice as i cant imagine what ur going thru but we are all on this site together going thru various things and im sure u will make some great friends!
never ever apologise for going on as this is what u joined for!! we are all on here to have a moan and make new friends and get advice!
im a good listener 
xxx


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## needhope (Jan 11, 2012)

thanks kelle28uk n jellyburchnall for ur replies  

i was put on a waitin list for emergency surgery last sept...still havent had it...and got a letter today telling me bout being infertile. now they're reluctant to do the surgery as its high risk and am likely to end with a permanant colostomy bag  

in a way i dont want the surgery as i dont want to have a bag, and am at a high risk of a blood clot...as my mum died as a result of a blood clot a few years ago.
i also have no faith in the hospital as my local hospital said there was nothin wrong with me as i attended a&e after bleeding constantly for a month and passing out. they simply said its ur period so go home. no test at all. felt like a fool.

its taken over 2 yrs  to be diagnosed with this cyst  and as no treatment has yet been sorted im desperate and the whole situation is puttin a strain on our relationship.

thanks again for replyin....i dont feel like im a whimp for not handlin it very well anymore and feel i have a bit more support, so thanks alot   

iv not even had a chance to read ur status/posts on ur pages. shall do tmz xxxxx


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## jo2004uk (Jan 6, 2012)

AWWWWW Needhope you really have been through so much & I cant begin to imagine what it must be like for you.

We are always here for a moan, its good to air your problems and tell people how you feel.

Same as the other Girls I cant offer any advice as I have never been through the same as you but am more than willing to listen.  

You take care & stay positive xx


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## pinkcat (Dec 3, 2008)

Welcome to FF needhope  I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

Here are a couple of links you might want to look at

coping with infertility
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=554.0

fertility through cancer
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=115.0

We have a live chat room where you can meet other members, take part in themed chat events and gain a wealth of information from people who are or have been dealing with infertility. New member chat is at 8pm on Wednesday, where we can introduce you to other members, show you around the chat room and help with any queries you may have both in the chat room and on the boards. Please take a look at the calendar and of course our Chat Zone: click here
Chat room: click here

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support and information.

Good luck 

Pinkcat


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## coweyes (Sep 4, 2008)

Needhope


Hi there, for me finding out about the fact that we were infertile was actually the worst part of it.  Yes i am now in the situation that there is a big chance that we will not have our own bio child.  But the shock of finding out was the worst part.  what i am trying to say is hang in there, life becomes very very intense for a while but things do get better.  It does put a huge strain on your relationship, but try to except that you will not always meet in the middle and except it for what it is, two very much in love people trying to deal with some very difficult news.  Finding out very difficult news knocks you off your feet and for a while you have no idea of what direction you are taking, let alown the fact that there is two of you trying to meet in the middle and continue with a for filling relationship.


Your no whimp, and if you are that makes us all whimps!!!   I am the whimpest of the whimpest, if i could spell it that is!!!!!!


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## Stubborn (Jul 1, 2011)

Good grief your have had some awful times honey  

I can't believe after your medical history you were sent away from A & E with bleeding, that is disgusting  
Whereabouts in the country are you?  Is there a better hospital you can get to?
If you are likely to need more surgery then maybe you could do what I did and undergo IVF and get embryos frozen before your ovaries get cooked by radiotherapy or removed.  
We have one shot at surrogacy, so maybe you could consider that in the future?  It's not ideal, and I would love to have been 'properly' pregnant, but life sometimes stinks and we have to consider whether or not to follow a different path.

If you have a suspect growth on an ovary, and a history of cancer, you should NOT be on a waiting list. Is your GP any good?  Could you go to them to see if they can speed things up?  Have you a phone number for the Macmillan Nurse from your previous treatment?  Someone should be able to advise/help you.  You should not be left like this.

Oh, and you are not a wimp!  You are coping with an awful situation, so the odd wobble is perfectly normal.

I really hope you can get some helpful advice and treatment very soon.  We are always here if you want us  

S


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Dear Needhope,

I'm sorry to hear that things have been so difficult for you untill now .

I'm afraid I have no real advice as personally not experienced infertility through cancer but please explore the links Pinkcat provided (if you haven't already). It's very easy for us to say the hospital should have seen you long before now, but I would deffinately advise following them up urgently as they will be able to advise best the next steps availiable to you, if communication with the hospital has broken down your GP I'm sure would be willing to make an urgent refferal to a different consultant or neighbouring hospital.

I agree with Stubborn; 


Stubborn said:


> If you have a suspect growth on an ovary, and a history of cancer, you should NOT be on a waiting list. Is your GP any good? Could you go to them to see if they can speed things up? Have you a phone number for the Macmillan Nurse from your previous treatment? Someone should be able to advise/help you. You should not be left like this.


Infertility is a very difficult and emotive things to process even when in otherwise good health. The ladies here will always offer amazing support and friendship whatever your journey, but the most important and urgent factor here is to make sure you have the support and treatment needed in regards to the growth they have discovered and making sure there is no futher risk to your physical health.

Have they biopseyed the lump or done any tests in relation to checking if it is dangerous or benign?
I really hope that you get the help from the medical professionals you need to ensure your mind is put at ease very soon. 
You and your partner have alot hanging over you right now be kind to yourselves and eachother

Never apologise for needing support 

XXXX


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## needhope (Jan 11, 2012)

Thanks again guys for ur msgs, altho u haven't been thru the same situation as me the support u offer means alot .

I live in Lincolnshire...and have changed gp surgery as the previous one was shockingly bad. Can't remember if I told u but I also have a enlarged lymph node in my neck and hve been waiting three weeks for fast blood test apt
.
am hopin this new gp will be able to help more!! Have been feelin very down the last dew days, my partners just been signed off work sick for 2 weeks so have to work 50 hrs a week, when am ment to be reducing hrs cos the pains awful at mo  

Everythings gettin to me so much, I just want a family n it seems impossible at moment. sorry for moaning guys. 
Hope ur all ok 
Shall right a better post tmz...am on my break at work at mo.

Thanks again for support. Xxx


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## Sarah1712 (Mar 6, 2011)

Needhope you really have been through the mill and you should be proud that you have coped so well to date. As for GP/hospital i would get into kick butt mode and make them listen and act quickly, id threaten legal action! 
As for having children, are you able to carry a child? If you are then perhaps donor egg might be an option or even perhaps adoption or maybe donor surrogacy. I would perhaps spend a little time when you arent working doing some research into options out there. If you cant have a chikd of your own perhaps long term fostering might be an option.

Xx


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## needhope (Jan 11, 2012)

sarah1712,  hello.

i dont even know if i can carry a child....the only communication ive had with the hospital is the letter i got earlier this week,before that it was sept.
no one is really explaining my options regarding IVF or anything...havent a clue what options are available.

im takin the letter i got this week to the doctors tmz to see what they say, if they can shed any light on the situation and maybe get the hospital to pull their finger out.

im currently under the care of the gnaecologist at peterborough city hospital,i dont know which hosp wud b best for me to possibly get referred to instead.

doesnt seem like peterborough is the best hosp at the moment,

sorry for talkin bout myself again lol xxxxx


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## needhope (Jan 11, 2012)

me again guys, hope ur all well?

still not had time to look at ne1 elses posts/profiles...had a crazy few weeks  

not got any further communication from the hosp tho  my new GP is sending me for a CT, MRI and ultrasound, had a blood test done, get results friday.

radiotherapy was mentioned,  and i am now realising how serious everything is n there is no gettin away from it    the reason we cant have kids is because of me, i have that guilt hanging over me, aswell as the pressure of everythign else, it is insane.    

average life expectancy for me now is 35yrs old    which is devastating and heartbreaking.  there seems no hope at all.  have no motivation at all and feel lost.  jut want to give in. don't think anything will get any better and im sorry for moaning. 

thanks to those that read my post n replied.  the situation im in is awful and i dont know what to do, cant deal with it all 

sorry again guys xxxx


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## pinkcat (Dec 3, 2008)

Hi needhope,
Please no need to apologise, you are going through so much      
I wish I could make things better for you   
I hope your DP is able to give you good support through this, you really need each other. 
Have you been offerered councelling at all? 

pinkcat x


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## Stubborn (Jul 1, 2011)

Needhope you sound so lost and alone  

Is no-one offering support?    You shouldn't just be told these things and then left to stew on them.  Your experience is so different to mine.  It makes me realise how brilliant the Bristol Oncology depts are.  Please phone a Macmillan nurse.  I found them very helpful the few times I have had to get in touch so far.  They should be able to help you get answers, and counselling, especially if you have been told your life expectancy is so reduced.  That is not something you can just cope with on your own. Macmillan may also be able to help with financial advice.  You should not be working a 50 hour week, it is too much to cope with. Radiotherapy is hard, but not as bad as it sounds, honestly.  It does exhaust you though, so your DP will need to be putting the overtime in, not you. 

Oh, and don't apologise for talking about yourself.  This is your thread, for you to vent and rant, or ask questions, but mainly for you to get moral support.   There will always be someone around to listen.

  

Take care honey


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## needhope (Jan 11, 2012)

hello everyone, havent written for ages as been in hospital with a bad heart, have had numerous scans n tests n docs have now decided i dont ovulate but this tablet will make me ovulate so i can conceive. 

does anyone know much more about this, i cant start treatment yet till i have my heart fixed.
i have hope now these tabs shud work...when i actually start them, but also not too hopeful, if and when i do ovulate my opinion will change, until then im feeling low n just want to know one way or the other

any helpful posts wud be appreciated 

thanks xx


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## pinkcat (Dec 3, 2008)

Hi needhope, Sorry to hear you have been been in hospital 

Have a look at the clomid boards http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=34.0 to meet others using this treatment. I hope you get well soon and can start you treatment.

Good luck


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