# IUI With Vaginismus Part 42



## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

New home ladies


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks struthie  

Evening all

We have a walker    
Ryan has been toddling about all day, when we went shopping earlier he didn't want to be in the buggy and he walked about teh shopping centre holding my hand. So while we were out I got him some reins and he loved walking about with them, he was shouting and giggling   he loved it.
I think he will want to be out of the buggy all the time now although after a few minutes he did want to get back in the buggy for a rest.
DH and I looked at a tandum buggy today, I didn't really want to get another buggy but I am thinking it will be easier to push one handed so Ryan can have a little walk when we go out   as Callum looks more than settled in the buggy  

We went swimming today and got the boys some arm bands which Ryan loved but Callum was happy to be in his seat thing. As Ryan is more mobile he can hold is body better I guess so he was fine with the arm bands, we got him a little rubber ring to just so he had something to hold on to and he loved it he was swimming all over teh place. He really has been a star today
Both in bed now so hope the will sleep well after all the exercise.

When Ryan started walking today I was crying Ryan looked really concerned so I tried to explain that I was happy.
And last night it was so cute, Ryan goves great big wet kisses and gives me and DH one before bed but last night he kissed Callum to  

Anyway I have waffled long enough

I hope you all had good rested weekends

Donna x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening!

Lovely weekend had here. DH & I had a lovely dinner last night, although we stuffed our faces and I had a bit of red wine - which resulted in us being home by 8.45pm and in bed fast asleep by 10pm   And wouldn't you know it - Hannah isn't here and we're both wide awake at 7.15 - un-bloody-believable. Got an absolute stink load of house work done this morning with her out from under my feet though  

And get this, she only went and slept through til 7.30 at my Mum's last night and then sat chatting to herself til gone 8. I was open jawed and bug eyed when my Mum told me that. Hasn't done that here for a long time! Little Madam  


Then lunch with the Out Laws where Hannah was an absolute star. Playing peek a boo with some older ladies, then waving and shouting goodbye to the entire restaurant   Diva in the making I swear to you all. Watch out for my girl in years to come  

Took her to see my Nan this afternoon as it's my Dad's anniversary today   She was pleased to see us. 

So, few more hours and then it's monday again   Off to watch Dancing On Ice

night x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie sorry I didn't realise it was your dad's anniversary   hope you are ok


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thank-You Donna   I was absolutely fine yesterday. It's gotten alot easier over the last 4 years. Still miss him though  

I'm a wee bit on the tired side this morning. Having a power struggle with Hannah at the mo. Trying to teach her that 5am is not an acceptable time to be screaming for milk! 

How is everybody else on this dreary January morning?!?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie we hed a 5am start to - well DH did  
Thing is the boys were both knackered so spent the morning grizzling till they went back down to sleep at 7.30 - why of why get up so early then    

I have to go to teh bank this morning not sure if I will let Ryan walk a litle of the way   I want him to but it will be hard the the buggy. I might walk round the side roads so its quieter

Anyway better get my bum in gear as I have a few things to get done befroe playgroup this afternoon

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - sorry I missed the anniversary. My thoughts are with you.  Your weekend with dh sounds lovely.

Donna - wow! Ryan has really taken to walking, hasn't he. 

How is everyone else?

Busy but dull sort of weekend here. Went into town yesterday for a few things and the walk nearly finished me off (and it really wasn't a long walk at all ). Spent the afternoon unblocking a drain and cleaning the bathroom - thrilling stuff. By the evening I couldn't move at all though, and was feeling rather sorry for myself.  I have some mobility back today though.  
No real plans today, apart from walking the dog as and when the rain ever stops.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, make sure you rest today don't go over doing it when you and lowerd your BP   

Went out this morning let Ryan walk a littel bit but it started raining so I had to pu thim back in the buggy which he didn't like  
He is so small and people look at me like I am forcing him to walk, he is only 19lb 11 bless him, then there is Callum who is 23lb 2 and he is quite happy in the buggy but looks bigger and as if he should be walking.

Annie I kept meaning to say, I am reading P.S i LOVE YOU after you mentioned it the other day as I needed a new book - its really good.
I would love DH to do that - not that I wish him dead   god that sounded awfull

right better see whats for lunch

Donna x  x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Hope you enjoy the book as much as I did. My friend read it at the same time and I remember calling her one evening and we were blubbing down the phone to each other "did you get to the bit where he" It has some really sad parts, but also parts that made me wet myself laughing  

So sorry - forgot to say WELL DONE RYAN! Such a big milestone and one of the loveliest aswell. Is Callum showing any signs of copying his brother?


Emma - I am really cross with you   What on earth are you thinking of walking round town, cleaning and un blocking drains?!?! SIT DOWN!!!!!  and seriously - get yourself a dog walker! Or send him back to your SIL until you've had the baby and are mobile again. I log on most days and wonder what you're going to have been up to next


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I think I'll have to find a dog walker. I took him out for a very short walk and now can't move again.  I think it is the pushing of the pushchair, rather than the walking as such, that is the problem. He can't go to SIL's because her husband, who was working away last week, is there and he hates dogs (particularly bouncy dogs like mine) and won't allow it. Dh helped out last week by taking him out early in the morning, but seems to have forgotten about that this week.  

But at the same time it is not good for Will to be cooped up indoors all the time.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh Emma rest up this afternoon and have a word with DH tonigth about the dog walking.
Don't worry about Will you only have a few weeks to go he wont suffer, can't he play in the garden so he gets a bit od fresh air and can let off steam?

Went to play group which was ok its not the best playgroup but I think thats me being judgemental  
Ryan walked a little bit on the way to play group nad is amazed by every leaf, tree, stone puddle etc it is os funny  
He is doing really well and seems to be able to cope with uneven outside ground without many stumbles - sorry guys prud mummy moment

claire tell me more about the GI diet? what is GI and what foods is it in?

Donna x x


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hello

Emma, really, it is time to sit down!!  Get a dog walker pronto!  I’d offer but I’m terrified of dogs!

Annie, so sorry to miss your dad’s anniversary.  I hope you’re ok.

Afternoon Polly, afternoon Deedee, afternoon Marie.

Donna, the low GI diet means not eating refined carbs (go for complex ones, so ditch the white bread, white rice, white pasta and have wholegrain – not wholemeal, wholegrain – versions instead), no chocolate bars, no ready meals, no takeaways, and your overall meal should start to change in proportion so that you have increasing amounts of vegetables and protein (chicken, cheese, fish, nuts) and decreasing amounts of carbs (rice, pasta, etc).  So for breakfast, you could have a boiled egg and slice of wholegrain bread and half a grapefruit, or muesli (watch the sugar levels in these and avoid puffed grains) with skimmed milk, or lean bacon with grilled tomatoes and beans, or live yoghurt with fresh fruit.  Snacks are allowed between meals, but should be fruit (and some are higher GI than others, so watermelon is out, but apples are great for example), nuts (unsalted), seeds, yoghurt, celery with cottage cheese, etc.  Lunch could be chicken or feta cheese salad, or mackerel fillet with salad, or homemade salad sandwiches, etc.  Dinner should include oily fish twice a week, no potatoes or chips at all (if you must, you can have sweet potatoes which are ok as wedges), lots of protein so grilled chicken or similar, cut down on rice so you could have quinoa instead (which is better with a stock cube added, I nearly threw up eating this stuff plain).  All with vegetables.  You can add spices and herbs, but no dressings or anything ‘manufactured’.  There are also loads of web sites with info on with meal ideas, or I can pm you some recipes if you want, although some are quite revolting!  We’re making a list of ones we really like and ones we can tolerate.  I’m following it religiously and checking I have the right proportions of everything and have gone as organic as I can, because I’m so desperate for a baby but I dare say you don’t need to be quite so fastidious as me.

I’m quite excited to say that today I’ve booked a little cottage for DH and I to stay in for our wedding anniversary in May.  It looks really nice and cosy and quaint, and veeerrrryyyy romantic.  It’s only for three nights but I’m excited already.  I also booked a B&B in Wales for July, we’re going away for almost a week but spending the first three nights staying with my uncle in south Wales, then a few nights up near Snowdonia.  I just need to get our non-UK holidays sorted now.  The Egypt holiday price is coming down, I don’t know how much longer I dare leave it as want to go third week in Feb … I need some milestones to get me through the year, I think.  

Anyway I’ve rambled on quite enough now.  

x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Claire,

That all sounds good, I have already started making sure I have veg or salad with everymeal which then means I have less, potatoe, pasta rice etc on my plate if that makes sense?
one of the big things I need to do is eat breakfast lunch and dinner. 
I do find it hard to fit in three meals and often don't get a chnace for breakfast.
I will def get wholegrain from now on as I didn't know that was different to wholemeal   so thansk for that tip
I think I will find it very hard to cut out potato so I wll start off by cutting down - will that be ok? I love roast sweet potato so when we have roast I will make sure I don't have any normal potato and just sweet potato.
Some recipe ideas would be great if you get a chance  
I think it is a great idea to have things to look forward to throughout the year   and you have uk holiday;s planned for later in the year which is a good idea as you could well be pregnant    
Think we should slot a meet up somewhere in your diary too  

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

Claire - your holiday plans sound wonderful, especially the romantic cottage for your anniversary. I hope it helps to have them to look forward to.
That diet sounds tough. I'd find it hard to ditch potatoes and white pasta. Do you feel energised by following it though? Aren't complex carbs the ones that make people feel really sluggish? May well join you with it in a few weeks time. 

Donna - breakfast is the most important meal of the day.    

My mother has really P****ed me off this evening. Although we have generally got on better since Will was born, it was like going back to our conversations of old today, where I come of the phone shaking with rage and being upset. She had a go at me for ignoring her messages on my answerphone (erm, I hadn't had any, but couldn't be bothered to argue as she didn't believe me). Then she said they wanted to come and stay. I said that it might be best if they waited until after the baby was born now. I've got 3 and a bit weeks to go (perhaps less), and my father is busy working (even though he is retired) for the next 2 weeks. I didn't argue, just said it calmly. This didn't go down well with my mother, who accused me of shutting her out of my life and keeping her away from her flesh and blood (Will). Then she went on about how I needed her to come and clean my house before the mw visit, because the state of it would upset the mw (charming!). My reply that if the mw was upset by it, that was more her problem than mine, didn't go down well. 
They came to stay just after Will was to help, supposedly, and it was awful. They did nothing helpful and expected me to wait on them all the time. My mother were rude to the mw who then - bless her - tried to tell them that they had perhpas outstayed their welcome and were not makig it easy for me to recover from the birth. 

Sorry to rant. After having such a horrible time when Will was born, I'd really like to be able to enjoy some bits of it this time, and dont want them taking that away from me.


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Emma- Poor you! I can (sort of) understand where you are coming from. My relationship with my mum can be strained at times- when we get on, we get on well but when we disagree or cross swords- watch out everyone! 

This is sooo not what you need at this time and i really cant believe she doesnt see that too 
You seem to be able to manage her very well by keeping calm and not reacting although it still must be very upsetting. How far away does your mum live?

Annie/Donna- Gosh I feel really bad now saying that 'PS I Love You' was cheesy, I must sound like a heartless old wench given that the husband dies . I really didnt read that much before giving up on it. I still have it so might give it another go sometime.

Way to go Ryan- Woohooo!!  Now the fun begins....

Claire- I have total respect for you doing that diet, you must have to be very disciplined. Im really feeling very sluggish at the mo because of all the crap food Ive been eating. I really must start to eat a bit more healthily. Booking holidays is the perfect pick-me-up, you are just right. The cottage sounds lovely, where is it?

Well I have had my first IKEA experience today. We went to the new Belfast store today as we thought Monday would be the quietest day of the week (apparantly weekends are horrendous!)
Now I see what all the fuss is about-Its fab! Ill definately be back there.

Been feeling a bit  lately. Think its just the weather and typical January blues. When does Spring begin


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I am in a blind panic this morning as there is bad weather warnings everywhere. I have been awake since 5.45am, watching the road outside my house like a crazy person. I am petrified of flooding again. It's soooo good to be home and it looks so pretty. I think I'd have a complete meltdown if it happened again. 
I've come to work in jeans and boots this morning in case I have to wade through water. A skirt and kitten heels wouldn't be as ideal. 
I even contemplated putting all my furniture upstairs or on work surfaces before leaving for work - even though DH is home this morning.
What a way to live hey! Everytime it rains I almost vomit  


Anyhoo - 


Deedee -   what have you been feeling down about hun? Work, home, baby, all of the above? Spring cannot come quick enough. I am sick of driving Hannah to nursery in pitch black!
Of course I don't think you're a heartless wench. I am the biggest sofite going is all. I used to cry at the advert where they sing "You are my sunshine". Can't remember what it was for now - but that's an example of how easy I blub.

Emma - Deep breaths and remain calm. Stick to your guns on this one. If having your parents around after Master Daff 2 arrives is going to be more detrimental than helpful, just say no. You have to think about yourself this time. Any bridges that are damaged as a result can always be fixed at a later date. Don't try and convince yourself that it might be different this time either. Probably best to say no and remove any chance of it. 
Are you going to call her back today?

Claire - Wow, that diet is pretty hardcore. Similar to what I did a few years ago, but I only managed it for 90 days -  before going to the Maldives and falling completely off the wagon. I did feel alot less bloated when I was doing it. Had a lot more energy, periods were more regular and oh - lost over a stone! I keep promising I'll get back on it, but I'm full of excuses. 


Donna - Ryan is doing so well. Good man. 

Polly- Morning x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I was thinking of you when I saw all the flood warnings this morning. Fingers (and everything else) crossed that it comes to nothing where you are. Did you say that the drainage problem that caused the floods last time had been solved, or did I imagine that.

Deedee - sorry you're feeling a bit down. This time of year doesn't help at all. Have you got any holidays on the horizon to look forward to?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - hope the water is staying down. No mention of your part if the world on the lunchtime news. Hope that is a good sign.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I just walked into a wall - I kid you not! And I really hurt my forehead! Hope i don't get a big bruise  

"Water Watch" - so far we're OK. The rain stopped just before 12, so i'm hoping this pause is giving the drains a chance to clear away.
I had to go and pick Hannah up from Nursery. They closed early as the roads were getting rather water logged. It's just around the corner from me and along the road is a culvert. That was really flooded when I drove past   There was 2 guys from the environment agency doing something with large poles - hopefully they were wands and they were performing some magic  

Please do a sunshine dance for us! Although weather reports are not looking favourable  


Emma - I had heard that someone had done something to the local brook/stream thing - but nothing about the drains

Sat here planning what I would save this time, should it happen (please no, please no, please no)


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

God Annie I hope evrything is ok with you, you can't flood again surely?     you are dry

Emma stick to your grounds you don't need the stress after as you will have enough on your plate with 2 children. Do what suits you  

Deedee sorry you are feeling down, I usually have a slump this time of year but think I must have had it early this year as feel fine at the moment  
Why don't you book a nice holiday for you all - or maybe just you  

Polly, all ok hun?

Claire I feel I was a bit insensitive about the diet yesterday moaning that I couldn't give up potatoes when you are following it to the letter and giving up everything   so sorry    to you

Ryan fell over at playgroup today   I was cuddling him then when he looked up at me there was blood everywhere   I knew it was from his mouth but couldn't see where and he was so upset   turns out he bit his lip and somehow cut his gum round his top front teeth and teh bit of skin that connects your lip to your gum. poor man it looks really sore, don't know how he did it as he fell backwards 
He has been moany and clinging all day as a result.
Gave him calpol and bonjella to try and sooth him  

Just waiting for DH to collect us from SIL, which reminds me did I tell you that SIL will actually be my SIL in october as they have set a date for the wedding

Donna x x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi

Annie, I was thinking about you today and thinking that you must be feeling a bit vulnerable. I can imagine what it feels like, as I was burgled twice a long time ago, both times while I was on holiday, and even now I sit in the car coming back from the airport or wherever I dread it having happened again - even to the point of making plans to deal with whatever I have to do, call the police, locksmiths etc. But it was a freak thing that happened to you, and I doubt it is likely to happen again. I'm sure that doesn't help the anxiety though  What are you about, walking into walls??!!

Donna, I hope Ryan is ok, poor mite.

Emma, you must do what you want - like Annie says, you need to look after you and your little family first, and you can build bridges later. Let me know if you still want me to recommend the B&Bs. Sorry I didn't do it before.

Deedee, hope you feel more   soon.

Hi Claire, & Marie if you are still with us.

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Big bruise on my forehead as predicted, but not had to swim my way out of the house this morning   I had a really rotten nights sleep and am feeling pretty 'orrible. When I did sleep I dreamt of rivers running down my street and DH saying "told you the sandbags wouldn't work"  

Looking at the weather reports (alot) yesterday and this morning and to quote them "the next 48 hours are crucial" I truly believed back in the summer that it was a freak thing, but all these flood warnings are knocking my confidence. A friend of mine who lives in the same street said she saw people from the local council inspecting the drains yesterday. Hoping that's a good sign  

Guess we're going to have to wait and see. DH is home the next few days so at least my posessions can be resuced if necessary  

As for walking into walls - well, I came jumping down the stairs a bit like bambi and literally smacked my head on the wall where I usually have to duck ever so slightly - what an idiot. Ooodles of my best foundation and concealer on the black/blue bruise I now have right in the middle of my forehead  


Hope everyone else is alot less bruised and wet!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie I was think of you all last night, I hope you stay dry       Try to stay away from walls today   sorry I did have to laugh

Emma how are you? any plans for today? lots of rest I hope, when are you next seeing the midwife?

Polly nice to hear from you  

Claire how are you? try and post when you can we are all behind you 100%  

Hello Deedee

Feeling very lazy today just have no get up and go   We have music later this mornign so hopefully once I have seen they boys enjoy that I will feel better.
I have so much washing to do, I am not sure where it has all come from    

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon,

Annie it is summy here so I hope you have some sunshine to    

We had a good time at music but boy the boys are getting a handfull now, espcially Ryan who is full of new found assertivness    

hope everyone is having a nice day

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon all,

Annie - glad your house stayed dry overnight. Long may that continue.   Hope you haven't walked into any more walls today. 

Donna - how was music?

Polly - yes, B&B ideas would be great (and nothing too near me ). I've been asking locally and have only heard reports of bad ones (they're all in and next to my village). If my parents insist on coming they can stay elsewhere.
The alternative is one of the airport hotels, but they might be a bit grim. 

Claire, Deedee, Marie  

I've been at a friend's house this morning, which was very nice. Her little girl is the same age as Will and they'd probably go to school together. Was supposed to go swimming this afternoon, but I'm feeling too lazy.
I have the spot from hell today. I've tried toothpaste, blemish away, and lots of cover up but it still looks and feels awful.


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Afternoon

Annie, I was so relieved to see your post just now.  On GMTV this morning they were doing a piece on the flooding and had a picture of floods in your county... I'd been sending dry thoughts your way all morning.

Donna, not insensitive at all, I didn't even notice the comment.  I'll try and send you some of the better recipes when I get a chance, probably won't be until the weekend though.  Remind me if I don't do it, it means I've forgotten!

Emma, no idea on B&Bs in the area, but think you're right in putting your parents in one, and at a distance, you must do what is best for you.

Afternoon Polly, hope you're doing ok.

Hi Marie, hope things are ok over with you.

Deedee, hope you're feeling a little brighter.  I think booking a holiday is a great idea, I've been doing that and it's made me feel a little better.

Not much to update here.  I went to acupuncture last night, and my kidney energy through my pulses has improved, although it's still not as good as it should be.  When I go next week she's going to try and bring on my af, but I don't fancy her chances as I don't think I ov'd (no signs whatsoever) so not sure if/how that affects that.  The bms continues apace on the off chance.

xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Everyone ok?

Annie how are thing with you?

I feel really yuk this morning thanks to AF   it has really drained me today and have horrible cramps could really do with a long bath and a duvet day but ha like the boys will have that never mind  

By chance I have started talking to a lady on here who lives 10 mins from me (right near my parents although she is moving) she is my age and has twins a few months younger than Callum and Ryan   so we have started chatting and we hopefully meet up as be great to meet another twin mummy. I was looking on the for sale thread (trying to fond a buggy) and saw her by chance

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - how are things. Have you excaped flooding?

Donna - small world with the local FF twin mummy. Hope you do meet up. Remind me again why you need a new buggy? What are you going for? I still don't have my double one yet (left it a bit late to order one).

Claire - you're not  going to lose too much weight. That's not good for ttc either is it? 

Off to mother and toddler group soon. Was panicking that I'd gone into labour last night, but it seems not. 
Emma, xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

Take it easy today then if you had a false alarm last night - Hoep you enjoy playgroup, I sWill ok at them now?

I am looking into getting a tadem buggy as it will be easier to push one handed now that Ryan is walking ( Callum is very happy in the buggy and shows no signs of walking yet) I am thinking of getting one second hand as I wont be using it much and usually people who have had a tandem pushchair have used it for an older child and a baby so haven't used it long as older child is soon out of it.
Found some nice ones on Ebay but they are collection only and none are local  

Do you know what buggy you want?

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning

Still ok here at the moment. About to register my details with the Floodline at the Environment Agency. They will text me if my area is put on high alert. SIL called them last night and at this time we are not at risk. We shall see if that changes after the rain today!

Emma - Mothercare can be quite quick at getting buggies in. Someone I know enquired on delivery times recently and they said it was taking about a week at the moment. If you get online today, you can have one here fairly soon! 

Donna - That's lovely that you might have a fellow twin mummy for meetings and support!

Claire/Polly/Deedee - Hope all is well with you ladies.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie, glad you are online I was worried.

Do you have rain at the moment? its dry here so far so hoep you will be ok

I think I woul dhave to move I couldn't handle the flood risk


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

oh why is it possible for my children to turn into nightmare children in the space of 30sec  

We have had a lovely morning of playing and reading etc, I have been able to get on with bits in the kitchen inbetween playing with them and they have played nicely togther and its been a lovely morning.
Ryan wanted to sleep before lunch so I gave Callum his lunch and I was able to focus on him 1:1 which was nice so I tried to encourage him to feed himself which is harder when I am feeding them both. Lunch time was nice and I put Callum down to sleep and began to give Ryan is lunch again trying to get him to feed himself (as I have been a bit lazy with it  ) In the back ground Callum was crying and wouldn't go to sleep   After lunch Ryan did nothing but winge and moan so I put him back into his cot to and now they are both in there moaning     

And I am here moaning becasue I am really fed up  

I know that I will have them screaming round the supermarket later which I hate casue then everyone stares and looks sorry for you and I end up getting really stressed with the boys  

aarrgghh
Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I hope they both go to sleep in a minute and give you some peace.  Sounds like they are both tired.

Annie - glad you are not high risk at the moment.

Sorry, worded my post very badly earlier. I have ordered a pushchair (Phil and Ted), but haven't received it yet. 

M&T was nice. Yes, Will is fine at them now. He has been ok ever since he learnt to walk properly and could use all the ride on toys. Perhaps he was just frustrated before.

More car problems, and expensive ones too I think.  My car is a money pit.
Emma, xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh Emma what is up with car? would it be worth you getting a new car

Is that the pushchair where the baby goes underneath? they are very popular

No they didn't sleep but have calmed down  well untill Ryan climbed on the walker and went flying over the top of it   he never learns

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Brake pads. We had them replaced about a year ago too (big ££). It is difficult with the car. We've spent a fortune on it - do we keep throwing money at it? I think we'll keep it until we're past the double pushchair stage, then dwonsize.


Yes, Phil&Ted is the one where the baby goes underneath. I'm not actually that keen on it, but it was the only practical option. It had to be a tandem because of narrow paths round here and shop doorways etc, and it is the only one suitable for offroad use.

Have the boys gone to sleep? Hope they wake up in good spirits.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

My afternoon went rapidly down hill

Emma you jinxed me

The boys didn't sleep so I decided to go food shopping on the way there something was wrong with the car so I took a detour to see DH at work where they all looked at it and decided that an air pipe or something had split whcih explained the loss of power but more worryingly some of the engine brackets had gone   DH told ,e to leave it there as driving could casue the engine to fall out as it wasn't in securly. plus there was someone coming into DH's work tommorrw who may be able to fix it so seemed silly to risk driving it home to drive it back again tomorrow
So poor Callum who had just fallen asleep in the car was taken ut and put in the buggy followed by Ryan and we walked home, Callum didn't go back to sleep   and is now clinging on to my arm
I am just hoping car can be fixed and that it isn't to expensive it needs taxing at the end of the month to and we are really skint      

Goin to have to take a bus to sing and sign tomorrow which wont be easy with a double buggy and I have to be home by 12 as I have a delivery coming in the afternoon so I only have an hour to get back which is enough time but you can never tell with buses can you

I have a splitting headache now to 

Donna


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, sorry I jinxed everything.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Still ok here   just tomorrow to get through now  


Been swimming with Hannah this arvo. All went well until the FiFi costume had to come off - then we had a meltdown of epic proportions!

Donna - Sorry you've had a naff afternoon. 

Emma - I love the Phil & Teds! Did you go for the red one or a funky colour? I like the green personally  


Off for a hot shower. It's freezing out there today and I stink of chlorine!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hello everyone,

DH has spoken to a few people to try and get a price to fix the car and it depends on which bracket has gone as the further in to the car it is the more it will cost - we have no idea so hopefully someone will look at it tomorrow. But I know it will be the furthest one in and the most expensive, it always is 

Decided to get a train tomorrow instead of the bus problem is I am going to have to trvale in rush hour so who knows if I will get on the train plus will have to leave here at 8.30/9am to get the train. I know a car is a luxury but it takes so much longer to get anywhere by public transport and I am going to have to rush around like a mad women to get back for the delivery and probably not enjoy the sing and sign anyway as I will be to stressed 

Sounds awfull but I can't wait fot eh boys to be in bed I just need half an hour alone, I feel so tense I think I will snap soon. I need a long hot bath as every bone in my body aches and I have tummy ache to  Today was not a good day and it all started with AF arriving.

Boys are just laying drinking there milk watching an in the night garden dvd its so cute to watch them

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - hope you got that long hot soak in the bath. You need it after today. Would it be worth skipping singing and signing tomorrow if it is going to be so stressful? 

Annie - green is good but I think the colour would clash with the car and my lovely new coat (both green but different shades).    Went for sand colour. Everyone round here has red or black.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

It did cross my mind to miss it but I have already paid for ti and would loose the money plus the boys have just started to get inot it so I don't want to miss one as it might unsettle them again


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Well I am getting the bus as I have realised that the train station as stairs to and from platform with no other access so can't get the train  .
I am leaving here at 8.45 with the aim of getting a bus about 9am which I am hoping by then everyone will be at work and school so I will be able to get on the bus but we will see  
My brother is also kindly coming to sit in my flat for me so I am not in a rush abotu getting back at 12 for the delivery. I know the delivery wont come till 6pm and this will have all been for nothing but if he's not there it will come bang on 12  

DH managed to get the boys down for there nap this morning a little earier (they went down at 7am  - when most children are getting up   ) but I will wake them at 8.30 to get ready to leave so atleast they have had sleep so shouldn't be to grumpy for the journey, well heres hoping
Oh and just to add to it all its raining to  

Kj told me about freecycle I had heard of it but never been on the site I have joined now as I am looking for a tandem buggy but the stuff people give away on there is amazing  

Annie I hope you are dry? do you have rain today?

Hello everyone I hope you are have a better morning planned then me   no no it might be ok the bus might be empty   

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - I hope your journey goes OK. At least you don't have to rush back now.

Annie - hope there is a flood status update from you.  It is pouring here.  

Off to mw this morning, yet again. I hope she gives me a few more days of grace as I have things to do. The car has to be sorted out tomorrow (2 person operation) and dh is due to go away next week. 

Back later,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Are you serious about DH going away? When you could have the baby anytime? Maybe it would be best if she did admit you to hospital today? DH can sort the car out another day or with the assistance of a family member.

Donna - Hope you got to toddler group alright this morning.

Weather Watch: It's been raining on and off all morning. I'm no where near a window,but I don't think it's been too heavy...yet! I shall of course keep you updated. If you get a text you know it's not good!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - glad you are still dry!

Mw visit was ok. No change. She said she'd be amazed if the baby came out of its own free will in the next week, so it is fine for dh to go away. It is only for 3 days, and it might well be my last few evenings to myself for _ages_, so I'm quite looking forward to it. He'll only be in Dublin, so can get back quickly in an emergency (he was in South Africa last time, so this seems fine in comparison).

The car _has_ to be sorted out tomorrow as it is the only free day to do so, and I'm not happy driving round in a car with dodgy brakes. It goes to a garage about 25 miles away and in the middle of nowhere, so we have to travel in 2 cars, and then go and kill some time somewhere whilst it is being fixed. All I have to do is drive and then sit in a cafe and have breakfast - even I can manage that!

Anyway, mw reckons they might induce in 10 days or so (same stage as with Will). And apparently I have sciatica, which is why I am struggling to walk. She advises minimal walking, no pushing of pushchairs, and no hoovering. Goodness knows what I am going to do to fill the days.

Hope Donna made it there (and back) OK.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone,

Well today actually went really well. although I got soaked walking to the bus stop this morning the boys were very well behaved and didn't object to the rain cover  The bus came early and we arrived an hour before the class so I was able to have a lok round the shops and return a few bits, oh and I picked up some bargins to 
The boys loved sing and sign and I think I iwll have to buy Callum his own Jessie Cat - the sing and sign mascot. He just loves it and didn't want to share it  

Bus journey home was fine even though there was another pushchair on the bus we got on with little problems and the boys were little stars 
We were home by 11.50 so no need for my brother to be here but hay if he wasn't here there would have been.
No delivery yet 

SIL is heere with her boys so they are all playing fighting with each other

Donna x x

P.s DH can't possible go away - can he


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma, glad that you are still ok with the mw, although poor you with the sciatica. Are you in pain with it, or is it just making it hard to get about.

Annie - hope you are all ok and dry. The rain here isn't as bad as it was earlier.

Donna, glad that your journey was ok this morning. 

I got some news about my DN yesterday - she has apparantly got engaged to her bf and planning to leave home and live with him in about six months (she will be 19 then). Of course that is really quite young, and she doesn't have a very realistic view of how it will all work, but then, she is only 19, so how would she.  But I think there are worse things in life than getting married young (eh, Donna?!). For instance, getting married late and not having children.....

Had a really odd dream about us last night - I just described it, but deleted it because written down it looked a bit depressing, whereas it was actually quite funny in the dream!

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, our posts crossed.

Glad all is ok with M/w 10 DAYS     How exciting I cant wait. I hope you are not to uncomfortable
I guess DH going away isn't that bad as he isn't far and can get back quickly.

Polly what a muddle  
All I would say is who knows if she is making a mistake or not? I was married at 21 as you know and although yes DH and I have our porblems but whos to say we wouldn't have had them anyway if we had waited? nobody knows do they and I think you have to do you feel is right for you at the time. I certainly don't regret being with DH since I was 17 and being married at 21 but there probably are plenty of poeple who would regret it - does that make any sense?
I hope your sister doesn't cut her out completely becasue as you said DN needs a way back in if she finds she has done the wrong thing.

I hope it all works out   are you going to send her a card? 

Just got through all the new stuff I ordered for my ann summers kit, oh its fab   just need to pay for it now  

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon all,

Polly - I am most intrigued by your dream....

I think you have to let people make their own mistakes, and it might not be a mistake after all. Is DN the kind of person who is more likely to act impulsively (run away, elope etc) if people make it clear that they disapprove of the engagement. Far better to send a card and please DN, I think, and run the risk of upsetting her mother. This should be about DN, not your sister, in my opinion. 
If it does go wrong the last thing she needs is people saying 'I told you so', etc. 

Chances are that living with bf may put a dampener on things anyway. Seeing people at their worst and having to clear up their socks can take the gloss off romance.

Do you like bf?

Sciatica only hurts if I move, and I'm not doing much of that. I am hobbling around like an old lady though.


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Afternoon,

Emma how exciting for you!  As for what you can do to pass the time, probably sitting down would be a good start!  You must have books / dvds you want to get into?!  I'd love to have to give up hoovering, walking, etc for 10 days!

Polly, oh dear!  Are you going to send a card?  I expect it would be gratefully received?!  As for making a mistake, who knows.  If I'd married my boyfriend when I was 19 I'd have been divorced by 20! 

Annie, pleased to get a dry update.  Rain has eased off here too, so fingers crossed the danger has passed.

Deedee, are you feeling any cheerier?

Donna, more ann summers stuff, ooh, what does that include?

Marie, hi if you're still reading.

Very excitedly, I have booked our Egypt holiday today .  We go in four weeks' time, and it's a cruise for a week.  We go to all the main sites, Petra, Cairo, pyramids, Sphinx, Temple of Luxor, Valley of the Kings.  I can't wait!  Plus it will take my mind off the impending operation, which will be a few weeks after we get back.

I've also reached my target weight of 8 stone 7lb today.  I just need to stay here now and not go significantly up or down.  I'm going to check my BMI in a bit and make sure I'm still in the healthy range but I think it will be ok.  

I've just got back from lunchtime yoga so I'm feeling very serene at the moment... 

xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

I have just found that this engagement happened 18 days ago....


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Polly, Why wouldn't have DN told you? is it becasue of her mum? if so the poor girl seems very controlled by her mum and seems like the whole family just keeps the peice as not to upset her (sorry maybe shouldn't have said that  )
Or had DN not told you as she is scared of your reaction, would she think you would disapprove?
Will you support her dission? if you will then Why not ring her and suggest having a drink or something with her and bf that way no one else has to be involved - just a thought sorry if I am barking up the wrong tree  

Emma I hope you are reasting although it sounds like you have no choice, Master Daff 2 is giving you some touble already - hopefully getting it out of the way now   Look after yourslef  

Annie no text  yet so I am assuming you are dry   is the risk over now?

Claire how are you? anythign nice planned for the weekend?
Have you booked your Egypt holiday yet?

Deedee hope all is well with you

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

sorry Claire I missed your post,

Congratulations on weight loss, I know you have worked hard for it but you must be very pleased  

I love the sound of your holiday, can't wait to see the pictures you lucky girl.

I hope the holidays keep your mind of things and perk you up a bit you deserve some pamapering and tlc and I am sure the cruise is just what you need then you will be back full of fight and ready to go 

As for ann summers stuff the new catalogue as quite a few new ranges so I have got some new bras, briefs, chemise sets things like that plus a new maids outfit which is called oooh la laa and it certainly is  I also got a coupel of new vibrators - one of which I like the look of so I migth be buying another for my kit  

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

I gave DH a lay in today so i was up at 5.30 with the boys   they are so cute first thing though and were very happy and content  so we have a happy mummy. They are back asleep now so I am enjoying a cuppa

Did I tell you I have really got into drinking Green tea its quite nice, I am aassuming it is healthier than other tea becasue I have it without milk or sugar. I am also thinking it might count towards my water intake not sure if that is correct though  

DH is getting the car fixed today - what a waste of his day off   hopefully if it doesn't rain we will take the boys over the park, give Ryan a litle run (he's like a dog  ) Callum still shows no interest in walking at all   But he seems to be babbling/talking more so just shows they excel in differetn areas which is nice  

Hope everyone is well

Donna x x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna Taylor said:


> Polly, Why wouldn't have DN told you? is it becasue of her mum? if so the poor girl seems very controlled by her mum and seems like the whole family just keeps the peice as not to upset her (sorry maybe shouldn't have said that )


That is exactly it, Donna. In fact I think that there are a million things that I think would be more appropriate and interesting for her to do at this stage in her life, but that is beside the point, what is more important is that she gets the right reaction to her important news, and some confidence in her decisions. She might be doing exactly the right thing for her, who can tell. But I don't think it is the worst thing in the world if she is making a mistake. She'll make it, learn from it and move on. I just want to make sure there will be someone who doens't say I told you so if that should happen.

What a dark and miserable day it is! I am off out to buy a new swimsuit. I have been doing aqua exercise classes most days for the last two weeks, and swimming 20-30 minutes, but I only have one suit to my name at the moment.

Love to everybody!

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Still here! there was a suspicious looking puddle in the road this morning, but nothing more than that - just a puddle. I'm becoming obsessed!

So much news to catch up on. I'm just going to take Hannah to my Mum's and then I shall be abck for a proper chat.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Go Polly  

I love what happened at christmas that is fantastic. Luke's aunt is very much like how you describe DS. Its her birthday on teh same day as Lukes and everyone alwasy has to go and see her so noone sees luke which is a big deal now his older but when he was younger - a child even it really upset him with good reason I thnk  

I think thats a lovely idea about the card atleast she will know you and DH are there for her at this stage of her life. I am sure she will get intouch 

Callum and Ryan wont share anything today and keeping fightung with each other - hair pulling, biting, pushing etc so its all good fun here today 
Ryan has started throwing toys when he his having a tantrum   terrible 2's at 14 months 

Dh should be back with the car soon he can take over for a while and I can clean the bedrooms, I have a mountin of clothes to put away

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hello Again.

Tackled Sainsbury's, unpacked it all, eaten a huge bowl of pasta and now ready for a chat  


Where to start  


Claire - An enormous Well Done to you first I feel. What an amazing achievement. Where many women would have run to the nearest chocolate muffin (namely me!) - you went and took on this new challenge head first. Not only that, but you're doing a grand job of beating it. That weight loss is phenomenal and you should be really proud of yourself. I am certainly really proud of you and your achievement  

The Egypt trip sounds fantastic. I think it's a brilliant idea that you take it just before your operation. I hope it will take your mind off it for a short time and that you feel relaxed and ready to take on the world when you get back. 


Polly - I have images of a young Hyacinth Bucket when I imagine your Sister   and I only mean that in a loving way. Bless her. I can see her rolling her eyes at DN and telling her not to be ridiculous when she announced her news. Lucky for DN that she has you in her corner. I think either sending her a card with a little message saying she can call on you anytime or even calling her for a chat. She might feel the whole world is against her and could do with letting it all out to someone like yourself.

I'm sure she drives you nuts at times, but I bet she's a loveable character too. You would'nt have her any other way  

Donna - Hope all goes well with the car repairs today. 

Emma - Hope your Madwife is right and Master Daff 2 stays put until his Dad gets back from Dublin! Are you getting excited about meeting your new boy? 

Deedee - How are you doing hun  



Well, I'm off to enjoy the last hour of peace before I have to collect Madam. We're both off to church tomorrow for a special service that will mention DH's Uncle. Lucky us! We are going to lunch after so there is some incentive  

Funeral is on Tuesday. I'll be in Richmond Donna & Polly if either of you want to come and rescue me  


TTFN x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

The boys are in bed   they have been high maintainece today but cless them wouldn't change them

Annie - Richmond   now I have heard of the plave but have no idea how far it is form me   
I hope the service is ok tomorrow, enjoy lunch  

DH (and maybe me) are about to build a new computer hide-away station ooh I can already see the rows  

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Have fun Donna  

I don't think my Yahoo is working? I didn't see you come online. In fact, I haven't noticed you for days..hmmm


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

so far no arguments, but the thing is rediculous as it came in some many little pieces when it could have come in bigger pieces if that makes sense.

Oh sometimes I cancel the sign in to Yahoo, I turn my computer on in the morning and leave it on all day so I cancel the sign in in the morning casue I know you are all at work then unless I know someone is online I forget to sign in at night - sorry


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

I've finally updated my signature with our decision. It feels a sad day. 

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Polly - that really does make it a very sad day for the team. I'm so sorry


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Polly   its is a sad day  
But trying to be positive this is a really big step for you and I am so proud of you   Deep down you made the decision to stop a while ago but you are now moving on to accepting it and I am enourmusly (sp) proud of you - I don't mean to sound patranising in anyway or belittle how you feel so I hope I am not coming across this way 

I don't feel its right to post any of my usual nonsense.............

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - thinking of you.  

Emma, xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oh please do post your usual nonsense, Donna  . It is sad, but not unexpected - like you say, the decision was made a while ago, it is just the writing it down today. I felt it was time I owned up to it. I wish it weren't the case, but it is. Now I want to concentrate on losing weight and enjoying other aspects of life - there must be some  

Thanks for your kind words, but please don't let this stop people posting what else is going on! Annie, are you still dry?  

Love
Polly


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Hi all,

Im just popping on to let you know I havent gone awol. Feeling a wee bit better thanks and am definately looking into booking a nice holiday. Sorry no personals. im trying to keep up with all the goss- you lot can talk, that's for sure!! 

XXOO


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Polly-  Yep, we're still dry. No puddles in the road, the stream is at a low level and the culvert is no longer flooded - I have been checking all three like a posessed woman!   So far we seem to have got away with it this time  
Have you spoken to DN yet?

Deedee - Good to hear from you. Glad you're feeling a bit brighter  

Donna/Emma/Claire - how are you all this morning? xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly I think as a treat for 'writing it down' you should book that holiday - where was it to Iceland or somewhere equally as cold?  

Annie so glad you are dry, sorry I didn't ask last night  

Emma how are you? is DH away yet?

Deedee nice to hear from you  

Claire thansk you for the pm that must have taken you some time   thanks you. the recipes sound yummy I am going to get DH to have read then we can decide what to try.
I am alos going to cut down or aviod all together the foods you mentiond.

Right well time for my nonsense     ........................
We have a new computer desk that took 5 hours to build and was very fiddli as it has retracting doors so had to build all the parts for that. It does look nice even if I did hate ti at first  
It hasn't kept boys away from teh computer though as they are now intriged by the new cupboard  

Ryan's walking is really coming on he goes quite fast for someone who is new to walking and can walk quite far so of course DH has already started saying that maybe we could start ttc earlier than planned becasue he will be out of the buggy by 2 if he carrie on like this      
We have been trying to encourage Callum to walk as he is getting frustrated now and I think jealous of Ryan and the attention he gets, but we are beign carefull not to force him. He can walk with DH and I hlding his hands but only for a short distance he just needs more confidence bless him.

right need to check my bank account then pay my ann summers accnout so I can order some more  

Donna x x x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Lol Donna, colder! Antarctica!! I was watching a sci-fi film set in Antarctica last night, and shouting at the screen, as you just can't run round the place with a mere t-shirt on!! No matter how hot you might look in the t-shirt. But for this year, we are planning on the Caribbean around June - not sure if we can afford it yet, but that is the plan.

I can imagine that Callum is really frustrated at not walking, it must be tough to be a twin sometimes, but also really sweet. 

Emma, hope all is ok with Daff2.
Deedee, good to hear from you.
Annie, glad the fear of flood has receded.
Claire - I am very envious of your weight loss - I need to get my GI books out and remind myself. Although I can't stand wholemeal pasta, and love the other kind. Everything else is ok. However I counted up yesterday how much I had gone swimming, done aqua-mitt and yoga and I have been to the spa 12 times in 16 days. I think a gold star is in order!

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Blimey Polly that is alot       couldn't fidna gold star  

Oh Caribbean sounds lovely DH and I looked at going there a few years back but I was worried about the flight I know its only 9 hours but I don't fly well and have the furthest I have been is greece


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Polly- That was a big thing for you to do  

love and hugs
DD xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon all,

Polly  - a Caribbean holiday sounds fabulous. You definitey deserve a whole collection of gold stars. What is aqua-mitt, by the way.

Claire - forgot to say the other day that Egypt sounds wonderful too. 

I am very jealous of all these planned holidays to hot and distant lands. We are considering .... Norfolk. In April.  

Donna - I'm sure Callum will be walking in next to no time. It must be very frustrating for him, poor love. 

Annie - glad the puddle vanished, and the water has stayed away. 
Hope the funeral goes ok tomorrow. 

Deedee - glad you are OK.

All is fine here. Dh is off tomorrow afternoon, but back on Thursday. SIL is coming over on Weds to walk the dog. I've been at her house this morning. Will got to play with lots of little boys who were visiting, which was nice. All the children his age round here are girls.

Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi just a quick note as DB is hovering to use my computer  

I think Polly meant aqua fit not aqua mitt  

Emma I am going to norfolk in september with DB and SIL we are sharing a cottage - should be nice 

Donna x x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Noooo, I meant Aqua Mitt!!   They do Aquafit as well, which seems similar - the difference being the Mitt!! It is kind of a wetsuit glove but with webs between the fingers and you do various exercises using the resistance of the glove and the water. Two mornings a week, they do Fit instead of Mitt, and it seems that we do the same exercises but without the mitt, apart from five minutes or so that we use polystyrene "weights". So I am somewhat mystified why they don't just do one session with mitts and weights, which are perfectly usable while still wearing mitts.  

Bet you wished you hadn't asked!  

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

you learn something new every day. Can I come and watch.  I have this vision now of a swimming pool full of adults in duck suits waggling around.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Oh sorry Polly   I shouldn't have butted in   I have done aquafit and used the mits for some of the class I didn't realise there was a class where you used the mit for the whole class

I have a yummy dinner and I am sorry Claire but it goes against everything you have taught me   
we have chicken in a pri pri sauce with chicken, ham and cherizo paella. I have a desert to a toffee cream mouse thing, plus my mum came round with dounuts earlier so DH and I have them to eat to be a same to waste thme   PLUS sil brough me a cream slice round before we went playgroup. so after changing my ticker this morning even though I have only lost 1lb i think I have put it back on  

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Glad the diet is going so well Donna.  Sounds yummy, by the way.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternonn all,

You are all very quiet today        

Its manic here I'm at SIL to be and its all wedding plans - there is so much to do  

Found out today that a friend from playgroup is pregnant its ealry days and I knew she was trying. I am so happy for her but I still got that sinking, I wish it was me feeling - I wasn't expecting that

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Sorry was meant to say, Annie I hope its all gone well today


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

I'm here.

Donna - I'm sure you're time will come before you know it, especially with all that monopoly etc. 

Went to mother and toddler group this morning, and just taken dh to the airport. My tv isn't working again.  We've had no signal for a week, then it magically came back again this morning, but has gone again.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Emma, no tv   I don't think I could cope with that  

I know my time will come and its not like we are even trying I just wasn't expecting to have that feeling   I stupidly feel a bit down about it.
I would start trying sooner than palnned be we are going away in september so I don't want to be due then or be heavily pregnant

DH is out watching football tonight so I am home alone, I'm on Yahoo if anyone wants a chat

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - sorry I didn't see your post earlier or I would have tried to yahoo too. I caught up with some dvd watching and have been sitting here giving the non-working tv black looks.

Off to bed with a good book in a few minutes. Just need to find a book to read first..


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

How is everyone today?

The funeral went really well yesterday. The church was absolutely packed with people and a friend read an amazing eulogy. We then all went to his local pub where people were desperate to come and convey their condolences and tell us all sorts of tales about him - I learnt so much about the man. I never knew all these things  


Emma - Any luck with the T.V? I lost the sound on mine this morning   when are you seeing the Madwife next?

Polly - Aqua Mitt or Aqua fit  - it all sounds a bit energetic for my liking! Are you still in the cycle club? Still taking along M&S cakes?!?!

Donna - Are you or the boys playing a part in SIL wedding? Bridesmaid and paige boys?

Claire - How are things with you hun?

Deedee - How are you and Hannah?


Off for brekkie, back soon x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie glad he had a good turn put yesterday. how is MIL

Hello everyone

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - glad the funeral went well. It sounds really nice (as these things go).

Got SIL coming over for lunch, then have to go into town this afternoon (defying mw's instructions not to walk  ) as Will has broken my glasses. 

Back later,
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - MIL is doing o.k. I think meeting and chatting to alot of his friends and colleagues made a real difference. Hearing all these lovely stories about him -  it was quite up-lifting


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Boys are so miserable today not sure if its teething or if they are coming down with something  
They were clingy and cried during parts of music which isn't like them so giving them lunch now and some medicine in the hope they will sleep and feel better - I don't need this today Iam not in the best of moods and feel less able to cope today


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

aaah, what's up today Donna?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Just life really.

I thought things were good with DH but know I am not so sure. I don't actually know if he is up to anything but things don't add up and even if he isn't doing anything I still think he is so the trust has gone.
I don't know if there is anythign else left?
I don't know if its having the boys or whether it would have happened anyway, or maybe we spent so long trying for teh boys that now we have them we kind of feel thats it - I don't know but I can't go on like this but I don't know that I can go on alone either


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oh Donna, so sorry you are feeling   again. I am away for a couple of nights (without laptop ppwer cable, so have to ration my online time) but can talk to you at the end of the week. 

Annie, it sounds as though today went as well as it could - good to hear that there were lots of people there, and that he was so fondly remembered.

Emma, hope the journey into town went ok today - couldn't you have got them to post them out?? If I had been about, you could have asked me to do it for you  . Please take care of your self.



Better go before my battery runs out!!

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly -   cute story.  I had one of my friends little girls be bridesmaid for me. She was so full of herself for months and inisted on having a dress just like mine! She chatted non stop about the event for what seemed like forever leading up to it. Then on the day she absolutely froze in panic at seeing 150 people staring at her in the curch and as the music started she point blank refused to move! My older bridesmaid practically had to drag her down the aisle   

Where are you hiding out at the moment then Polly? Have you done a bunk with a Mr Darcy type and shacked up in some country bolthole?!? If you are then I'm most jealous


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly very mysterious as always lol

Emma I hope your not suffering after yesterday?

Claire I hope you are ok and post soon, how many weeks till you go away?

Deedee and Annie hello

Well DH explained and it does make sense what he is saying but I don't no I just have this real sinking feling

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - sorry you are feeling   and unhappy with dh. Would it help to talk about it? How are the boys today?

Polly - hope your trip is going well. It was really sweet of you to offer to sort out my glasses, but they needed my head there too to fit them properly (otherwise I'd have left them for dh to deal with). Will bent one of the arms. A bit embarrassing as this was the 4th time it has happened. You think I'd learn to leave them out of his reach. 
I did regret it though. I couldn't walk by the evening. Seems mw knows what she is talking about and I should heed her advice.

Dh is back today, thank goodness. I woke in the night and panicked that I was in labour (I wasn't of course , think I'd eaten something that disagreed with me). 

Hope everyone else is OK.

Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma I hope you are taking it easy today  

Boys are still a little out of sorts but much btter than yesterday so far.
Ryan went to sleep at 5pm last night and that was it for the night   I went in to him at 7 and got him in his pjs and gave him soem milk and he hardly woke up  

Both sleeping now but Ryan is coughing so I am sure he will wake soon

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

OMG! - I'm sorry, but I'm bursting with excitement......

I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yeeha - just booked it all and I feel sick with nerves and excitement.

I have so much to plan!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie - how exciting! I am so jealous! When are you going? How long for? who with? Details, details.....


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I know!!!

I'm going on Thursday 28th February for 3 nights. Back late on Sunday 2nd March. I'm going with one of my dearest friends (the one who lost her hubbie)

Our hotel is on the corner of 5th and Madison - like I know what that means  

We've got sooo much to plan and think about. I don't when I'll get the time, but who cares! I'm sure we'll figure it all out. 

I feel like a teenager again


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie did you sleep at all last night lol 
Your trip sounds fab, can't wait for you to go - I mean that in the nicest possible way as I want to hear all about it

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I slept like a log last night. I was absolutely knackered. Maybe from all the excitement!   at you wanting me to go away! 

How are you today?

How is everyone for that matter. Anyone doing something exciting this weekend?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

I'm here but have no interesting news. Saw mw this morning and things are better, so perhaps resting does do some good. This one may be coming out normally after all.
No plans for the weekend. I'm hoping dh has plans to do something fun with Will so that I can veg out on the sofa with a dvd. 

Hope everyone else is OK.
Emma, xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening!

Emma - Hope you get some much deserved rest this weekend. 

Hope everyone has a pleasant couple of days  

TTFN x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Still feeling pretty             i think that covers it but I'll come through teh other side i always do

Boys are changing so much Callum is really trying to talk and natters away all teh time his little voice is so cute  Ryan has had a bad few days and has teeth coming I think he is really suffering and spent yesterday afternoon in tears and looked like he was begging me to help him     He has been going to bed early but as a result has been getting up at 4am  

I worked last night and again tonight so pretty shattered

I hope everyone enjoys the weekend

Emma I hope DH has will and you get some rest and TLC

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - big cyber  to you. Can you pin down what is making you feel so   ? Is it the lack of sleep? Worries about dh? Can dh take the boys out later to give you a break?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna - not to belittle your feelings, but I just wanted to ask if you have an injection due? That doesn't mean to say that you don't feel what you feel, but maybe if you need some more B vits, that might make it feel harder to cope. I am on line this afternoon, so IM me if you come online. If I am off, it will only be for a moment while I change log-ins.  

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

I'm sat in bed typing this morning. Suffering with man flu again and feeling a bit sorry for myself   My Mum had Hannah for me last night so I could lay in bed with the shakes and sweats - good ol Mum   


Donna - I'll try and get online tonight. Give me a shout and we can have a chat   Hope you made big bucks last night!

Emma - Have you had your feet up the last couple of days?

Polly - How was your trip?

Claire -  

Deedee - Hi! How are things on the Emerald Isle?


Right - going to lay here for another hour and pray for a miraculous recovery!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Lukes DS had the boys over night and we went to a friends house which was nce got back around 3am so very tired now.
It did help things but today I feel just as down and stressed and I don't know why.

Good suggestion and the injction polly but unfortunatly I had one in December so not due till march  

On a better note the party last night had high sales so thast good, but no furture bookings which is always a let down 

Its DN 2nd birthday today and I'm not looking forward to going because I know it will be badly organised it will be kaos as the food is being done in a different part of the building so they didn't have to pay for the function room. I am hoping it all runs smoothly for DN, DB and SIL though.
Just tried to get boys dressed in some nice shirts I brought them and they were to big so I had a strop as I dodn't want them going to teh party in something they have worn before - I know irrational so DH as gone to get them something

Ryan has been a lot happier over the weeked so I hope he is getting better now, I think I felt a corner of a tooth so that confirms my suspicions

Annie I hope you feel better soon

Emma I Hope you are having lots of rest

Polly sorry I wasn't online yesterday

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Party was ok. Boys went asleep for half of it which I thought would happen

I am feeling very tired tonight and a bit low and emotional which probably isn't helped by the tirdness.
Thank you for all the offers for a chat I really want to but don't feel up to it tonight I need to crash with a dvd.

I am thinking maybe I need to see gp - but not sure

I hope everyone has had a nice weekemd, Annie I hope you are feling better and that DH is taking care of you

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - it wouldn't harm to see the GP, talk to him and see what he suggests. Is he an approachable sort of man? I'm sure the lack of sleep makes everything 100 times worse too. 

Annie - sorry to hear you are poorly. Hope you feel better soon.

How is everyone else?

Vaguely restful weekend here. Dh took Will to London yesterday. I did rest a bit, but it was also a great opportunity to tidy and clean the house, which is too much like hard work with a Will underfoot. This morning I plodded around the farmers market, and spent the afternoon sitting in the garden watching dh do things. Got a very quiet week ahead though.

Better go, dinner is nearly ready.
Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Guys

Still feeling absolutely awful. Been in bed as much as poss. 

Donna - Sorry you're feeling a bit low at the moment. January is a horrible month! Might be worth a trip to the GP for a chat. Can't hurt. Here if and when you do feel like talking x


Emma - I would have taken the chance for a good clean aswell. Really don't blame you there! All organised right before the big day.


hi everyone else. I'm off to night nights - xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Claire I have emailed you  

Annie as you haven't posted yet I am thinking you might be off sick - so I hope you feel better soon 

Ryan is driving me nuts and I have no paitence today I hate feeling like this, I am worried I might be depressed again? I am having some of the same felings and that worrys me  

Claire hit it right on teh head in an email she sent me and I think I do have 'mummy blues' and I feel so stupid writing that when I love being a mummy and I know how lucky I am to have my children  
I just under valued by everyone I feel my friends only notice me when they want something, if I disapeared nobody would notice until they wanted me for something (don't worry I am not going to do anythign silly I don't feel that bad and wouldn't do that to my boys)

Iant to go out more but have no one to go with or any money so i feel trapped.

Every day i feel different, so when i think i know what is going on in my head it all changes 
i'm so tired

Donna x x


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## caro226 (Nov 28, 2007)

Hi,

Since I spotted the IUI with vaginismus thread, I thought I'd post a request for some advice!  Been ttc for 2 years, just completed 6 months clomid with no joy and my consultant is now talking about assisted conception, which we would need to have privately since no NHS funding where we live.  

I'm not sure whether I have vaginismus - sex usually happens OK, but I've never managed to use tampons and the one smear test I had was pretty painful, probably due to tensing up.  I really have a big fear of internal examinations!  Because of this, my consultant thought we might be better off going for ICSI rather than IUI, but I've had feedback on the clomid board that IUI is much cheaper and usually what would be recommended before IVF.  

So...since it sounds like there are ladies out there with vaginismus who have survived IUI and conceived, I wonder if you have any advice for me, suggestions on how you got through this etc. etc.  

Thanks so much,
C xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi 

I am one of the vaginismus ladies 
Reading you post it doesn't sound to me like you have vag as sex is fine although you could have a mild form as you said you can't use tampons and find internals painfull.

Can I ask when you had your smear what size spectulum did the use? if they didn't use small (child size) then I would ask them to use this next time as it does help a great deal.

I had IUI to have my boys and that was because I was unable to have sex at that time due to the vag it was just to painfull so we needed assisted conception as had no way of getting teh sperm in teh right place otherwise  
The IUI was painful and exactly like a smea althought it took a few monutes longer, somehow I managed it as the want fof children was so great. I also think it was the IUI that helped cure my vag although I still have som,e work to go.

Maybe you could have IUI somewhere that is understanding about vag? my hospital were understanding and I think that hlped alot

I hope this has helped, any questions ask away

Donna x x


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## caro226 (Nov 28, 2007)

Hi Donna,
Thanks for replying!  

I *think* the GP used a child's speculum for the smear - she did try to put my mind at rest by saying that they had small ones they could use...still uncomfortable though!  Can they also do the IUI with the small speculum?

The problem for me is wondering if it's something we're not doing right   that means we've not managed to get pregnant, i.e. the same as for you, the sperm just ain't getting in the right place!

Did you go private for the IUI?  If so, what's the approx costs?  have you had any other sort of help in overcoming vag?  I think I would be referred to a hospital in Middlesbrough, not sure how understanding they are, but it can't hurt to ask...

C xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - thinking of you.  Going to come back later and post properly (W is waking up). Could someone take the boys off your hands for a couple of days/nights to give you a break and a chance to catch up on sleep? If I wasn't about to burst I'd happily drive down and help you with them myself (very happy to in a few weeks time though).
Have you phoned the GP?

Back later, Emma, xxx
p.s hope everyone else is OK. I guess Annie must still be poorly.


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Donna, hang in there.  I’ve pm’d you.

Emma, not long to go now.  Hopefully you’re sitting with your feet up.

Polly, how are you doing??

Annie, I’m guessing you’re off sick today.  Hope you feel better soon.

Deedee, how are things with you?  Feeling brighter?

I’m not doing so good this week.  No sign of af and I don’t think I ov’d.  I have done loads of reading on success stories and what they did – acupuncture, low GI diet, exercise, metformin, supplements, 10% weight loss and I have done all of them at the same time and nothing.  So I feel like I’m really racking up the failures here, what with clomid not working either.

My gp wrote to my cons and asked him if he’d see me as an NHS patient, and lo and behold I have an appointment tomorrow with the cons as an NHS patient.  No idea what it’s for.  I feel very nervous, I don’t want that dildo cam thing near me.

Gotta go, boss lurking.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi 

Yep, still poorly. I have no voice today (happy DH  ) and a really sore throat. Stayed in bed til late and then decided a trip outside might do me good - or not so it seemed. Ended up back in bed and asleep for 2 hours! This flu is horrible   I've had DH at home today, but home alone til late tomororw evening. In need of a 24 hour recovery  

Donna - I'm wondering if maybe you need to have a chat with someone eho can help you work through all these feelings you have. Might be worth getting your GP to put you in touch with someone? The worst thing you can do it bottle these feelings up or try and cope with them alone. See what he/she can recommend.

Emma - How are you feeling hun?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma,

Thank you for you kind offer, but you have enough on your plate right now without my stupid worries. I don't even kow why I feel like this and that is really pi$$ing me off.

I haven't rang the dr yet as I want to see if thing improve or get worse etc as I really don't want anti d's or to rush into anything.
I felt fine until last week when a friend told me she was pregant so I am wondering if that has sparked something but I don't know what.

SIL did have boys over night on saturday and it was lovely DH and I went out saw friends and had a lovely time but then today I still feel the same

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Claire - we crossed.

Brilliant news that he consultant is willing to see you as an NHS patient. Perfect timing too if you ask me. Sit down tonight and write a list of all of the things you want to ask him and do not leave until he's answered them all. Ask him about all the things you have been doing and how they make a difference, success rates, how IVF works for a PCOS patient (not that we will need it, but i know we were wondering about the stimulant drugs etc) - ask EVERYTHING!

Don't leave until you feel happy with the plan of action and all the "what next's" and "what if's"

... and then log on here and tell me everything. I think this appointment might help put to bed a few concerns and apprehensions.

Sending lots of


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Caro

I'm another Vag Team Member  

Your story sounds very similar to mine. I was managing "S" most of the time, but had issues with smears, tampons or anything internal. I got through it with the encouragment of the team, some relaxation classes and self treatment really - in so much that I got myself a speculum and would practice inserting it, using the techniques from the relaxation classes. I then progressed to wearing tampons.I was about to start IUI when I got my BFP

Wether you go for ICSI or IUI it is going to involve the use of a speculum  

If you want any help and support with any of this, come and join us on the main Vaginismus thread. We've got 6 of us on there at the moment who have all had great successes overcoming the vag. Plenty of experiences there to help you


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Still in bed suffering with the worst flu i've had since being a teenager   Got 2 hours to get better as Hannah does need collecting from nursery and there is no one around to help today    Think I've gotten through a rainforest full of tissues in 24hrs - ewww!

Claire - Wishing you the very best of luck at the Dr's today  

Donna - How are things with you today?

Emma - Still with us?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

Yes, still here, but bloomin' uncomfortable. 

Annie - its no fun being ill with a little one to take care of, is it. I prescribe an afternoon on the sofa with cbeebies and OK magazine.

Donna - how are things today?

Claire - what is happening at the doctors today? Sending lots of    to you for whatever it is.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Need to go and hunt down the tv remote control. Will has hidden it somewhere.  TV _still_ isn't working properly, but I need it for dvds.


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Hola,

Thank goodness I havent missed the arrival of Master Daff #2. Emma how are you keeping? are they still keeping an eye on your BP? Are you 'nesting' or does that only happen with number 1?
Enjoy these last few days of 'putting your feet up' 

Annie-  for the flu but  for NYC!!! We went there last May for a few days (first time away from H) Start saving now because you will be doing a LOT of shopping and eating.
Hope you shake off that flu soon- lots of fluids, heat and bed rest prescribed as you dont want to relapse in the Big Apple!! Can your mum/DH help with Hannah?

Donna- How u feeling pet? Have you talked to anyone besides DH? 

Claire- Hope all goes well with cons. Let us know asap.  

Polly- What an awful situation with your sis/DN etc. Your DN is really lucky to have  such a caring Auntie. Is your sis here in NI or England? I forgot what you told me at the meet.

Feeling bit better here. Have started to look into hols for the three of us in May/June so that is really exciting. Days are getting longer (have u all noticed?) which means spring is on its way-yeehah! Ive been filling the house with daffodils already. Also,to top it all off the new series of LOST starts this Sunday- I'm counting down the days, hours, minutes......

Gotta go prepare something to teach tonight,

DDx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Everyone

MIL came and got H for me this arvo. Went along to the Dr's who confirmed it's viral and I just have to wait it out with painkillers and honey/lemon drinks. Sat in bed with a hot mug of the stuff now. Pleeeease let it pass soon!

Deedee = Great to hear from you   I cannot believe I did not notice that LOST starts again on Sunday   Making a mental note to put it on Sky + in the morning!
But did notice the days are getting longer. Doesn't get dark here until around 5.15pm now - keep going!

Emma - Not surprised you're feeling uncomfortable now. Not long to go. Don't forget to text us!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I was hoping for news from Claire   I hope it went well

Had a bad day today, back to see gp and I'm back on teh anti d's    with strict instructions to take them for aleast 6 months this time 

Donna x x


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Emma, how exciting for you, not long now until you meet Master Daff 2!

Annie, I hope you’re feeling better now, can’t be much fun!

Hi Polly.

Donna, sorry to read your post but also pleased that you made progress, even if it’s not really the outcome you’d hoped for.  I hope you start feeling better really really soon.

Deedee, pleased you’re feeling brighter.

The appointment went fine.  He just wanted a chat about how I was doing, how I felt about the LOD, etc.  Obviously very perceptive, he told me being anxious would not be helping, but well I can’t just turn it off can I!  We talked about the LOD and my concerns and he’s alleviated any that I had.  He said he thought the LOD would work.  I asked what if it didn’t and he said he’d refer me for IVF and the LOD would improve my chances no end for IVF too, but he didn’t want a discussion about IVF as he said it’s not likely to get that far.  So we will see.  He also said if I start my af in the next few days I should take the other 50mg clomid (again with follicle tracking) but I don’t think that’s going to happen as my body shows no signs of it approaching.  I have acupuncture tomorrow so will see if that helps any.  He also said that the acupuncture was a good idea but I think his faith is in western medicine!

Came in this morning to an email from a so called ‘friend’ who has had a baby recently and knows about my problems, gushing about how great it is to be a Mum – like several paragraphs full of descriptions of her baby smiling etc and how it’s all worth it, how happy she is, etc.  I had been determined to be more light hearted about things but after reading that and feeling how I now do I’m not sure that’s possible.

We also seem to have come to the end of the road with MIL.  We went to see FIL on Thursday night at the pub where he works as it was his birthday Friday.  We gave him his card and present etc and he was really pleased to see us.  But then on Friday when I got home from work I found a carrier bag outside the front door with his presents in it, the birthday card (torn, and looked like it had been stamped on), the Christmas presents we got MIL and FIL, and the photo frame we bought them after the wedding as a thank you gift.  DH has been very upset about it, we went to see his uncle, and his cousin came round on Monday night to discuss it, but they are at a loss too.  They agree she’s vindictive but don’t know what to do to help.  His uncle is in very bad health and 77 and not up to a confrontation, and his cousin has already tried and got nowhere except on her bad side.  DH is now accepting that this may be the end of his relationship with his parents.  I’m so angry with her.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Claire - what a very nasty, spiteful way for your MIL to behave. I'm continually shocked at what she does next. That woman needs help and a serious wake up call, I'm afraid. Must be awful for your poor FIL, who no doubt wants to keep seeing you and dh. Perhaps you should hang out in his pub all the time (or does MIL go there too?).
Must be heart-breaking for dh.

Glad the appointment went well. Sounds very positive, and good that the consultant has a plan of action for you.   You _will_ get there. 

Annie - are you feeling any better?

Donna - gladyou went to the GPs. Sounds like that might be the best course of action at the moment. It has to better than feeling  all the time. 

Deedee - a girl after my own heart. I fill the house with daffodils at this time of year to convince myself that spring is round the corner (hence the ff name - I was looking at them when I joined and had to come up with a name). Where are you thinking of for your holiday?

Polly - hope you are OK?

Got SIL coming round this morning with her youngest two. Will loves playing with his older cousin (but can take or leave the baby). My tv problem is going to be resolved next week, thank goodness, as we are admitting defeat and getting sky. Unfortunately this involves a major rearranging of the furniture.  Dh assures me that he will do everything, but I wait to be convinced. I think he has the nesting thing going on.

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Goodness Emma these final weeks are dragging fro me as god knows how you are feeling.
I hope SIL does all teh running around today

Claire your appointment sounds really positive, I cant wait for you to have the op now     I hope AF arrives soon    
MIL what can I say.................   she is unbelievable

Deedee I love daffadils to they are my favourite  

Annie how are you feeling?

Hello Polly hope your ok?

Feeling very low and   today I have taken my first tablet but there are no majical cures. I fel that no one understands how I feel or what I am going through.
Just unloading the washing machine and re loading it this mornign had me in tears as it seemed an endless task and I couldn't cope with it.
Also Callum was happy playing when I got up this morning and it took me over half an hour to go in and see him as I couldn't face him 

Meant to be going to music today but they are both asleep, I'm not sure whether to wake them or not  
I can't face music but I know I wont feel anybetter being in all day and I also don't want them to suffer
but they do have colds so don't want to wake them and then have them grumpy through music.
Ryan should wake up anytime as he as been asleep since 8am but Callum only went down at 9.40 aftern beinf up since 5

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I hope you can make it to music. It will probably do you good to get out of the house for a while. Don't feel bad about letting Callum play happily on his own for half an hour - it is good for them to be able to do that. Its not like you were ignoring him and he was unhappy. 
Thinking of you.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning

No need to tell you where I am - yes, in bed still feeling absolutely rotten. Had a bit of a blub this morning when a friend called to ask how I was and I could barely croak out "o.k". It feels like I'll never be my old self ever again. I am so sick of being sick! MIL is having Hannah for me yet again this afternoon. I haven't seen my baby for days now and I am seriously missing her 

Anyhoo, enough of my boring snot tales.

Claire - I was absolutely thrilled to bits reading your post this morning   The Consultant sounds so positive about the LOD and I tend to think he must know a thing or two after treating this condition day in and day out -so lets believe in you like he seems to and look forward to this treatment that sounds like it's going to do the trick   Roll on March!

Not so thrilled to hear about MIL. I feel so terrible for your DH. They are his parents regardless and making the decision to finally cut them out of his life and having his own Mother treat him and his wife so despicably must be really awful for him. I hope he can maintain some sort of relationship with his Dad, Unlcle and Cousin. Even if it is a sly pint in the pub every now and again. Although I have a feeling this isn't the last you'll hear from her!


Donna - You did the right thing going to see your GP and getting back on the anti-d's. Did he mention speaking to someone? Give them time to kick in and in the meantime try not to be so hard on yourself. It's ok to feel like you do  


Emma - Once you've had Sky installed you'll wonder why you didn't do it ages ago   DH & I missed that more than anything when we were out after the flood! You can regularly catch one of us saying "I love my Sky"   Hope DH is going to do all of the furniture moving. Make sure he whips the hoover round at the same time  


Well, that's exhausted me. I need another lie down now. Back later x


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Annie, you've been poorly for so long now that the end must be in sight!!  Just hold on a day or two more!

Donna, sorry you're still feeling lousy.  Take it one task at a time, you're doing great.

Emma, I do hope DH will be moving all the furniture, while you sit and direct!

Well the cons was equally positive about the clomid, so I suppose I have a hard job taking on board what he says as I don't want to be disappointed again.  The thought of facing IVF is truly terrifying me, and I'm not sure that I could do it, so really everything rests on the LOD.  It's obvious my silly efforts in diet and so on are getting me nowhere.

As for MIL and FIL, well FIL is too soft and will probably start to refuse to see DH and I if it drags on, as this happened before, he said DH should go round and make up with MIL and he couldn't speak to us.  And as he's lived with it his whole life, can't seem to see that DH won't accept a life of being shouted at and apologising to keep the peace on a monthly basis.  DH is worried that MIL will have hit FIL again when he went home with the presents and card, and I must admit the thought had crossed my mind.  He's probably been banned from seeing us and knowing him, he'll go along with it.  He's a lovely bloke but nice to the point of frustrating.  He lost the rest of his family thanks to MIL and I can't believe he'll stand by and lose his son too but I suspect that is what will happen.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Claire you are telling me to do one task at a time well teh same applys to you hun. Don't stress over IVF when ypur not going to need it. The consultant was very positive about it not coming to that. I can imagine it is very hard to feel positive right now as you feel all your efforts are in vein but there not they will all help ypu loads during and after the op so don't give up. An april/may BFP is on the way try to relax - I know that is impossible though but do try. we are all behind you 100% and you are doing great x x 

Annie sorry you are still poorly, try taking paracetamol and ibuprofen every 4 hours but 2 hours apart - does that makes sense?

I only just about held it together at music today they boys were being little monkeys and climbing on everything. They are the eldest in the class now so all teh other babies don't really move so I felt they were all looking at me thinking 'god can't she control them' and I really felt like I couldn't.
Even the teacher said I seemed strssed today and it wasn't a problem that they were climbing. I just couldn't wait to get out of there.
Now have a long afternoon ahead of me

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I bet the other mothers weren't thinking that at all. They were probably jealous that you've got 2 beautiful active little boys who do things. Babies don't do much and can be very dull indeed. 

Hope the boys have a nap to give you a break.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I echo what Emma said. It's more likely that the other Mum's were wishing theirs did or didn't do something. How was your afternoon?

Claire - I felt like I was coming through the other end earlier this afternoon and then got the shakes again at tea time. I've been in bed since 5.45pm! DH has been bringing me food and water -  a real knight in shining armour!
Umm, excuse me also Madam!  - your diet efforts and all the other changes you have made have not been useless. Sometimes these things take time to have a visible impact and the worst thing you could do is give up on it or lose faith! Persevere!
So, how are you feeling about the MIL/FIL siuation? Happy to wave Bon Voyage to them or wanting to have one last try?

OK, I have to find yet more tissues. I wish you could see my room right now. My bedside unit is covered in paracetemol, cough syrup, vapour rub, olbas oil and vitamins. The floor is covered in snotty tissues -ewww!!! I am so minging right now and the worst part?!? - i stopped caring


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Grrrr, I planned to give up drinking during the week to help with losing weight, but so   with work that I have had a couple of large whiskies and a couple of glasses of wine. I have more idiocy tomorrow and friday, but not at all in the mood to indulge. Watch out....might do some sacking! (not really, got a great team right now).

Donna,   depression sucks, so sorry that you are feeling so  . You have a lot to take care of, so you must take care of you. I know it seems like an eternity just to get through the day, but soon the ads will kick in, and you will start to feel better. Stay with us, hun, and tell us how you feel. Don't worry about the housework, the boys can cope with untidy and a little bit of not sparkling clean all the time, and if they are happily being independent and playing, let them get on with it. After all, they do have each other, and that is a bonus for you. Even if it is an effort, when you can, get out of the house for an hour or two - it will make the day pass. 

Emma - are you going to have this baby before I go away (just going to Spain for 4 days)? I am happy to be point of contact as before, but only if  Daff2 comes before 11th, otherwise someone else needs to do it 

Claire: I think that - at least the way you put it - that the cons sounds reassuring and gets good results without resorting to IVF. Cross bridges when you come to them - you won't have to think about other possibilities when you get that BFP before the summer 

Deedee - hi, good to hear from you. Yep daffodils are great, I love having flowers around, quite partial to lilies, as you can get them all year, but daffs have a special something. I always have flowers in the office 

Annie - keep well, and take lots of care of yourself.

Love
Polly


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Hi all,

         
I think that the vag team need a bit of cheering so I order you all to go out and get as many daffodils as you can and put them in your kitchens, living rooms and bedrooms (Annie-DH can get them for you). Its hard not to feel a bit brighter when you see their little yellow smiley faces.

Claire- Your cons sounds really positive about this procedure. I think if he wasnt particularly hopeful about it he would tell you and you would sense it. I don't think IVF will even be a consideration for you.

Your MILs behaviour actually leaves me speechless- I have never heard of such childish, petty, spiteful behaviour from a grown woman especially towards HER OWN FAMILY!!!  Has she got worse recently or has she always been this bad? Do you think there is anything that has triggered her behaviour ?
Poor, poor DH. It is good that he has the support of other family members who know what she is like.
BTW, Im getting really concerned about the hitting and am starting to realise that this is isnt a petty thing. Domestic abuse is a serious offence and can be non-physical too- poor man!

Donna- First of all THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH TAKING TABS. If they help to give you a little push then go for it. There are more people on them than you think. It may be hard to see your way out of this when you are in it but YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. 

mobile is ringing back later

DD


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

morning all

Thank you for all your comments and support

Annie how are you feeling today hun?

Emma you have my number so I am happy to pass on good news if Polly is away. How are you today?

Morning Claire Deedee and Polly

I thougth I felt better when I was in bed this morning depiste having a really bads night sleep but now just feel really rubbish and stressed.
Ryan is driving me nuts, he wont play with anything and is generally being a winge.

Nothing planned for today and I'm not dressed yet. Its dark, windy and looks like rain outside so doubt I'll be going anywhere today

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - feling any better this morning? Glad your dh is performing the Florence Nightingale role so well - what a star!

Donna - perhaps it takes a few days for the ads to kick in. You know my theory about wind making children (and dogs) grumpy. Very windy here too (no chance of me blowing over though ). I took dh to the station eralier and found it a bit scary driving.

Polly - a few drinks here or there isn't the end of the world. Have you got anyone left to sack now?! I hope daff2 will come before the 11th, but who knows? I'll be sure to let someone know. I made a list of phone numbers for dh last night and put everyone on it.

Claire, Deedee  

The baby is not coming today, thats for sure. Dh has his work Christmas party, and it would take him ages to get back; it is the last night he is allowed to drink anything until daff2 emerges. SIL has kindly offered to let Will stay with her soon, so that is one less thing to worry about.

Back later,
Emma, xxxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Deedee, I will buy my daffodil quota at the weekend!  Hope you’re ok over there, I see bad weather is predicted…

Donna, how are you doing today?  Chin up, things will soon seem much better.  I know, why I don’t follow my own advice I’ll never know.

Emma, hope you’re still resting…

Annie, how are things?  Can you see carpet amongst the snot rags yet?!  Always a sure sign things are on the mend!

Morning Polly.  Yes the cons did make it all seem rosy, his description of the op was that he had a look inside and popped the cysts, complete with ‘popping balloons’ actions, and he thought it would work for me and I should stop delaying and get on with it.  But then he was so positive about the clomid too, so it’s hard to take at face value as I came away from that appointment full of elation and hope.  Pleased to hear there will be no firing today!

I agree on the MIL / FIL front, I’ve long thought this amounted to domestic abuse.  She will stop FIL from seeing us, and unfortunately it is not a matter of going up the pub to see him as he works out the back so we have to ask for him and he pops out.  He’s 76 and working 25 hours a week washing dishes and clearing up to pay for her expensive tastes – he should be enjoying his retirement!  

I believe that she is either a despicable individual or mentally ill.  Yes she’s always been like this, in fact DH told me the other night that when he was little she used to hit him, twist his arm, drag him across the carpet to give him carpet burns, and he used to hide under his bed to avoid another round.  I am appalled, when he told me all this it made my cry, I had no idea.  I knew she’d abused him mentally, telling him he was rubbish, etc. - in fact, she’s tried this on me too.  When I first knew her she was all sweetness and light, and I wouldn’t have imagined what was really going on.  He asked me how long I thought it would be until she has another stroke, how awful it must be for him to be thinking this way.  He wants his dad to be free of her and enjoy the last few years of his life.  It probably all sounds very dramatic, but unfortunately it is the reality.  She is a horrible, horrible woman, it makes me so so angry.  Deep down I hope DH makes the decision that this is it and cuts all ties but I know he misses his dad.

xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I was really hoping to come on here today and say I was feeling 100% better - but I'm not   Still got a chesty cough, still getting through boxes of tissues and I'm plain old exhausted! I got up, had a bowl of cereal and then had to go to sleep for 2 hours?!? This really is a nasty one. Well, that turning the corner can't be far away now surely   It'll be a week on Saturday that this started.

What is everyone's tips for getting rid of the flu and specifically decongesting the nasal passages!?!


Deedee - Thank-You for the cyber daffs. As soon as I can make it to the outside world I shall go and purchase some. It'll be my new goal on life!

Emma - Hope you haven't jinxed things by saying Master Daff isn't coming today. You know how these things have a tendency to happen when it'd be better if they didn't   Hold On!

Polly - Probably best you had the whiskey and kept the stress levels down in my opinion  

Claire - What have your parents said about this situation? Just wondered what their advice was? 25 hrs a week at 76 is an awful lot. Although it must be some sort of respite for him at times. Poor chap - I want to come and rescue him   I guess you could get heavy handed and threaten to report her to the police for domestic violence if she doesn't allow FIL to see DH - but FIL would need to back you up and life might get tougher for him. Ridiculous that she can get away with it though.
You must have felt sick when DH told you about how she used treat him. Makes my stomach churn. DH must have felt he won the lottery when he met you and your family. 

Did the Consultants positivity tempt you to bring the LOD forward?


Donna - Deep breaths hun. It's almost the weekend and DH will be around to help out.Can you meet up with SIL today? I always find that company can snap me out of the foulest moods with Hannah. If not as the weather is pretty damn awful - stick Iggle Piggle on and indulge in something yummy  

Right - I am determined to not go back to bed again today. I can beat this


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello again,

I have just read through the posts but I can't remeber it all so sorry if I miss something - I'm just really not with it

Claire I agree with what the other shave said about MIL. I really feel for yoru poor DH I can't belive any mother could do this to there own child it makes me so angry

Polly a drink here and there does no harm hun, relax and enjoy yourself. did you sack anyone?

Emma I did laugh about you not being able to be blown over  Enjoy the rest while SIL has Will

Annie if you need your bed then you must take to it, rest will make you better. They only tip I have is taking painkillers every 2 hours
As you can mix paracetamol and ibuprofen 2 hours apart

Still not dressed   and its wet and windy out

Right better get boys lunch sorted

Donna x x


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hello again,

Annie sorry you're not better yet.  The end must be in sight!  Unless your body has turned into a snot factory, there can only be a limit to how much more you can churn out!

Donna, hope you've decided to settle down with a nice indoors day, have you got any treats in the cupboard?  I know it goes against everything I said diet-wise but sometimes it's necessary!

FIL wouldn't back us up so there's no point.  My parents have the outline details but I'm playing it down as my dad would find this sort of thing unbearable and end up going round to see MIL, and with his high blood pressure and the state he would get into, it would make him very ill.  They think she's awful though, that's for sure.  

Had some cramps last night and incredibly sore (.)(.).  I would be delighted if it was af but I was here last week thinking the same thing with similar feelings.  And before anyone suggests it, I did a test this morning and it was unsurprisingly BFN.  They don't get any easier.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Claire I hope af arrives soon   our bodies are terrible the tircks they playwith us especially when ttc


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Oh, and no Annie I won't be bringing the LOD forward.  We go on hols 3 weeks today for a week, and when we get back it's less than 2 weeks to the op anyway.  In fact, 6 weeks today I'll be on the sofa recovering.  Gulp!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Claire it will be here in no time     then its a BFP coming your way    
I know what your saying about clomid but the consultant was so positive about the op working for you and he knows your case and the procedure so must know what he is talking about.

I think right now you just don't want to get your hopes up and I totally understand that hun after all you have been through the last few months but this really will happen for you


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

I'd love to think so Donna but everything I've read says that the best and most likely chance is clomid + metformin.  I can't explain how I feel.  The fear of infertility was bad, the diagnosis was very bad, but not responding to the thing that I thought would work and seems to work for so many others, was devastating.  I've never felt so low as I did after that follicle scan, and I know my chances are much reduced now that that has happened and makes me a low responder.  I've been in loads of pcos chat rooms, and almost everyone responds to the clomid and most get pg and talk about how hard it was etc. to go through it to get their bfp, but how I now feel is a million times worse than that and I feel so jealous of these people and so angry that this just gets harder and harder for me while I should have ovulated like so many others.

I've also read people saying they can't be bothered to lose weight, do a special diet, put up with the side effects of the metformin, and I'm doing EVERYTHING I can think of, and it all just seems so unfair after overcoming the vag and all.

I know I sound really sorry for myself and there are worse things in the world but I can't get away from the feeling that THIS ISN'T FAIR and I've been SO unlucky.  I know I have the LOD next but I just feel so unlucky and I know it doesn't work for everyone and there's no way of knowing in advance who it will work for.  I think my cons just says optimistic things as that's what he thinks is the best way for my state of mind.  Frankly I think this is all too much for me.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh claire i didn't mean to make you feel worse ((hugs)) I was trying to be supportive and lift your spirits


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Where is everyone?

I know why I'm not posting but where is everyone else


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm here  

Feeling alot better today - hoorah!


I'll chat to myself if everyone is wanting to stay away at the moment. Not a problem


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie glad you are feeling better

I don't want to stay away its just to much for me right now - I'm sinking fast


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - don't stay away. Please, please vent on here.   I am worried about you.

I haven't been around much today. Was out this morning, and dh (off work) was using the computer this afternoon.

Annie - glad you're on the mend!


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Donna- PLEASE come back on later. I am worried about you too.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning,

Thank you all fro your concern, I'm hanging on inthere I guess

Emma I hope your doing ok and DH is looking after you  - I am awaiting news 

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - hello! Does dh have much time off this weekend? Can you get a bit of time to yourself? A long soak in the bath and a snooze might help?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning

Still here, just about! Still not feeling too good. Had to call my Mum to come and get Hannah yesterday. She's really poorly with a cold and I felt terrible,so Mum come and took her back to her place for me - until DH got home from work. Poor girl must be wondering what she's done to upset me as I keep taking her to her Granny's  

Well, plenty of time to make it up to her when I'm better  


How is everyone else today?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - hope you are OK. You worry me when you go quiet. 

Annie - you poor thing. Hope you manage to shake it off soon.

The lurgy has hit here too. I've got a stinking cold and sore throat, and Will has it worse. We were really worried about him last night and almost took him to A&E. He was coughing, but not a normal cough, and was screaming hysterically. I was wondering if it was croup or whooping cough, or some such thing. Seems a bit better today, so far.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

oh Annie I thought you were on the mend I hope you get some rest and shake it off 

Emma poor you and Will - sounds scary I hope he improves

Donna x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning 

How is everyone doing today?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

morning all,

Annie are you back at work? how are you feeling?

Emma are you still with us, how is Will?

Donna x x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Donna, hang in there, what can we do?

Emma, still with us?

Annie, hope you are starting to feel better.

Deedee - got loads of daffs for my office at the weekend, cheap at Marksies

Claire - sorry that it all seems so much, but you have lots on your side, including a positive consultant, (unlike mine!) and we are all rooting for you. 

Take care 

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi again,

I am hanging on just......................

This really has crept up on me and knocked me for six.
I have been relying heavily on a friend who has his own probelsm rightnow and I htink he is finding me to much, not sure if I am upset with him or not.

I was very low last week and I am very ashamed to admit and thoguhts about cutting myself as I thought it may help - thankfully I wasn't at such a point as I realised it wouldn't help at all but I just need/want a release and for this to stop.

I am not feeling as low today so maybe the anti d's are doing something apart from making feel drained, sick and have a headache.
Over the weeked I just felt numb like I was in a trance, I necer now whether to act how I feel or put on a front and that in itself is exhausting

sorry bit of a me post

Take care all

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm feeling a better thank-you. Going to try going back to work tomorrow  


Donna - I really do think you need to talk to someone. The anti-'d's are definitely a good start on getting you feeling your usual self, but longer term I think you really need to work through everything you're feeling with someone professional. Would you consider going back to your GP and asking to be put in touch with a Counsellor?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, Annie is right, you seem to be going through a fairly long cycle of being up and then down. Maybe it is time to find a way of breaking through that? About cutting yourself - have you done that before? On another thread there is someone whose work seems to bring her into contact with people who feel the urge to cut, and when it comes up on the thread, she suggests having a rubber band on your wrist, so that you can ping (as hard as you like) when you feel that bad. 

Who do you feel you have to put on a front to? I'm not sure that it is a question of a front or not a front, but who and how much. Starting with family - I'm sure that you have as much front as you can with the twins, which is good, but what about your DH? Do you feel you have to have a front with him? Then work out to others in your family - I'm sure there are some that you don't need to have so much front with as others. Maybe having a little priority list in your mind about who you could lose it with, and who you don't want to will help. And you don't have to put any front on with us! I will try and get on yahoo tonight if you want, but don't worry if you aren't up to it, or doing something else.

I have just had a really wierd experience - I had a business meeting with someone I didn't know - but the subject was internet forums for work purposes and how to make them work. you can imagine that lots of us, including my organisation struggle with this, and I always give the example of my sewing one working, and usually say I have another one too, but this time I said it was to do with infertility, and WOW - we really had something in common. She has now adopted, but we spent all our meeting time talking about the whole sad situation, what you go through, what others think, how you decide when togo on to the next step etc. Totally not what we met about, but it has done me a lot of good today. It is all such a big taboo subject (and has to be when you are going through it, as having loads of people know is not helpful, as we know). Strange that I chose her to tell!

Got to do some real work now. Take care all. Oh, Annie, don't go back to work straight away if you can - give yourself a couple of days to get strong again. 

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon all,

Donna - _please_ go back to your GP asap. You need to talk to someone, and soon. Could it be that the particular ads don't agree with you, and a change might not make you feel so awful? Worth asking the GP, I think. 

Polly - your wierd experience sounds really good (in a wierd way). Funny how these things happen when you're not expecting it.

Annie - glad you're feeling better, but don't rush things.

I'm still here, obviously, but feeling like death warmed up - cold/flu thing. Dh is off work today and has taken Will out to give me a break, even though I don't think Will should go out (he is poorly too ). I stupidly went shopping this morning, just to get out of the house, and it nearly killed me. That is me done with going out anywhere until the bump goes.

Claire, Deedee - hello!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Again,

Emma sorry your are feeling so rough I hope master daff arrives soon, when are you next seeing midwife?

Thanks for you repsoses it took a lot for me to tell you guys, I am seeing dr again on the 14th so we will see how things go till then.
I am hopefully going to my aunts by the sea on sunday for a few days and from sunday ;uke has a week off so that should help.

I haven't cut myself before so it was a new feeling for me that really scared me.
I just found myself sitting there thinking where I would do it (leg/arm) and what it would feel like etc I just wanted a release. BUT I DIDN'T DO IT thankfully 

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I'm relieved that you haven't done anything, but the fact that you have even thought about it scares me.  Have you told dh about these thoughts?
My view, for what it is worth, is that you should make yourself go out somewhere (a walk in the park, your parents' house, _anywhere_) because you won't have the opportunity to do anything at all like that if you are out and about.

Could you go to your aunts a few days early - tomorrow perhaps - and get dh to join you there at the weekend?


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

Sorry just jumping in as just read Donna's post

Donna - Hun I have pm'd you.  I have been/am still where you are at the moment.  Please get in touch with me - want to help you through it - can also give you another forum which has been a fab support to me


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

I don't know what to say really - I feel quite embarresed now
Today has been better but then I have been very occupied it has exhausted me though I must admit

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - no need to be embarassed at all.  Keep posting though if you can, just so we know you are OK (or not)


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Donna- Im so glad you are telling us about your feelings. Does your DH know just how bad you feel? Have you ever spoken to anyone professional about this?

Emma- Any sign of bubs making an appearance? Any twinges? (I was so sick of people asking me that-sorry!) This really IS the home straight 

Annie- That must have been a really nasty bout you had. Are you feeling any more human again?

Polly- How strange that your colleague went through something similar to you! These things are so private and personal that we keep it all to ourselves yet we have no idea that those around us may have gone/ be going through the same thing. How did you feel sharing your story with her- good for you being strong enough to tell her 

Claire- Hi  Hows things with MIL? Dare I ask?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Where is everybody??   

Donna, how are you doing this morning? Thinking of you hun  

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - are you back at work?

Donna - wanted to see how you are feeling today.

Bad night here. Will was awake for much of it with this awful cough thing. I still have it too. Even the dog is unwell and off his food (never happens). It is a laugh a minute here at the moment. 
On the plus side we now have Sky tv, and I think we'll be watching far too much of it in the next few days.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

SOunds like a brilliant plan, Emma

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hello!

I'm here   I've been signed off work for the rest of the week. Chance to make a proper recovery.

Polly - I bet it felt like such a relief to discover someone in a similar situation and have a good chat about it. What a fab thing to happen!

Emma - Hope you have your feet up exploring Sky TV!

Donna - How are you feeling today? Don't you ever ever feel embarassed about telling us your feelings. We want to know so we can help and support you.

Claire - How are things your way hun? Did AF arrive? How was the last accupuncture session?

Deedee - Hi! Have you found the dream holiday yet? How's Hannah?


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Emma- Does Will cough mostly at night or is it all the time? Hannah had  a bad cough before Xmas and we thought it was croup. It sounded like  bark- very raspy and sore as she cried after she coughed. Turns out it was upper resp tract infection.  She has a cough at the moment but is only at night so I think this one is related to teething as she is getting molars through.

Donna- Let us know how u are today 

My daffs are all dead. Time to replenish my supplies


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Annie- we crossed. Glad you have the chance to recover properly- we dont want a relapse in NYC!

Hannah is great apart from the teething (back teeth). BTW how is Hannah 1 when you try to clean her teeth? It is a struggle here.

Re the holiday we are going to book it any day now. Looking at the south of France near Nice. We are checking out private rentals. There seems to be lots to do and we are thinking of mid May so should be lots of


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Deedee - holiday sounds fab! Bet the weather will be just perfect there in May.

Will's cough is only really at night (but he is snotty and out of sorts in the day). It is the most peculiar sound - more like a barking than a normal cough - and it makes him cry. I just hope it passes soon. I just guessed it was croup from googling, but might well be something else.

Annie - glad you have a few days off to get over things.

Wish there was some word from Donna.....


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello I am here,

Not been a good day today but I have been occpied which is one good thing I guess

Emma sorry to hear Will is so poorly

Annie great you are off to recovery properly

Thanks for the PM Deedee


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning everyone,

Emma how are you? any signs yet?

Annie how are you recovering?

Claire hope your ok hun?

Polly thanks for the chat the other night  

Deedee I have flowers but they are lilly's my friend brought me, no daff's yet

So far today is a better day, although I haven't taken the boys to music which I feel guilty about but couldn't face it today.
I have my friend and her 2yr old daughter coming over later so thats probably why I feel a litle better so far today - however she is sending me back to dr if I can get an appointment later

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - glad you're feeling a little bit better. Good idea to go back to the GPs though.

I'm wondering if I do have some signs, or not.  Some twinges and a tiny bit of leakage (sorry if TMI), but I've thought it was all kicking off so many times in the past couple of weeks that I'm sure this is yet another false alarm.
Bit bored today. I still have this annoying cold and can't face going out anywhere. SIL was going to come over but has no car today. Will is loads better and I ought to do something constructive with him, but what? We've been reading endless stories but my voice has given up.

Back later, Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - If you think you've had a bit of leakage you might want to get that checked out. Waters are only allowed to trickle for 24hrs! Don't worry about Will. I'm sure he can manage to entertain himself for a couple of days.

Donna - Hope you can get another appointment  


No I'm not feeling better, I am actually feeling hideous and it's not because of the flu anymore. The truth is - it's morning sickness. 24 hour, relentless, exhausting sickness.I'm sorry, I just can't keep up the pretence anymore   I'm on my second different type of anti- sickness tablets to try and help,with mixed success and am signed off work til the end of the week. The tablets make me drowsy, weepy and give me an upset stomach. DH has been finishing work early and when he can't my Mum comes over as I am completely incapable of looking after Hannah.

I am in a right old mess at the moment, but through all these afflictions I know how incredibly lucky I am to have been blessed again  

I know this news is going to be rather upsetting for some of you, so I shall be keeping my distance for a little while. I'm just too exhausted to try and keep up a facade.

I'm so sorry


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Congratulations Annie.

But you know what, I am not having people staying away because of me.  It’s not the first time it’s happened and it makes me feel even worse than I already do.  

I wish you all the very best in the future.  In particular, Emma I hope you have a smooth and stress-free birth in the coming days/week.  

I’m sorry for what I’ve done.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

OMG Annie!  Have PMed you...

Claire   Please don't stay away.......


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Everyone,

Blimey Annie I wasn't expecting that - congratulations and don't stay away.
How many weeks are you? wow I'm so surprised

Claire don't you stay away either

I have another appoinement at 4.50 not sure what to say though


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - hope the appointment goes OK. Just be honest, and don't not say something (eg about the cutting thoughts) because you are worried what they might think.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

YAY!!!!! Go Annie (well, gently and restfully, as you are not feeling well  ) Great news!

Love
Polly

P.S. hope the ms sorts itself out soon


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Emma/Annie I hope you are both resting

I am now on different med's these ones will make me drowsey so I am to take them at night as hopefully they will help me sleep to.
I will start on them tommorrow

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - hope they help you get a good night's sleep.  Did you have a good chat with the GP? Did he suggest talking to someone too?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

The gp I saw was a bit of a drip really, I am going back in 2 weeks so maybe I will bring it up if things haven't improved

Hows your leakage?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Very minimal leakage.   Think it must be a pelvic floor problem rather than anything else. The indignity of it all.....


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Annie- I have pm'd you. Please don't stay away! The ms is really awful it actually got me quite down at times but IT DOES PASS. So happy for you 

Claire- Please dont stay away either. We need you  

We have to remember what brought us all together in the first place and what type of site this is.

Donna- Have you thought about talking to someone (professional)?

Emma- When my waters broke I thought I had pee'd myself too- be careful!

Have just done session of Tai Fit- don't know where that burst of energy came from!

Holiday is booked- yeehah! South of France for 8 days in May.

Night Night
D


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie how are you hun I hope things improve soon

Emma I am very excited for you - anymore leakage?

I am going to teh farm today, I really really don't want to but I am fighting teh desire to be on my own

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - farm sounds good. Bet the boys will love it. The one near us closes for winter and Will misses it.  Did you sleep OK? Did the tablets make you feel groggy?

I really thought things were kicking off last night - period type pains in back and bump going all tight. It lasted all night, but didn't get any worse, and seems to have gone now. It meant I barely slept though.  I'm going to run the risk of going to mother and toddler group this morning though. I reckon if something does happen one of the best places to be is with lots of other people who have recently been through the same and will help with Will if need be. Besides we're all going stir crazy here after not having left the house for days.

Hope everyone else is OK.
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Having a better day -well had no choice really. MIL usually has Hannah on a Thursday and she called this morning to say she's has an upset tummy. Boy did I panic! DH stayed as late as he could this morning and I just had to get out of bed. I had a shower and felt a bit better, put Hannah in the car and went to my friends house. She cooked me an egg sandwich and I did feel a bit better. Ready for a snooze now  

Had to cancel NYC. Couldn't risk not feeling well enough, so made the decison yesterday. Lost a little bit of money, but one of those things.


Emma - Seriously - should you not get the MW to look you over? Bet it kicks off at M&T  

Donna - hope the new tablets make a difference   Keep us posted  

Deedee - Yeah - South of France! Fabulous! Is it just the three of you going?

Polly - Thank-You

Claire  -


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Annie- Glad you're a bit better. Have you tried Cyclizine? Thats what did the trick for me. You just have to do what you can to get through this yukky bit and if that means living on barley sugar and egg sandwiches, so be it! I remember packing DH off to the shop with a list of rations which included grapefruit, prawn cocktail crisps and pancakes (the crisps worked by the way!).When I was going through the ms I felt that I had to put life 'on hold' and just cope with feeling yuk but I know that's hard when you have a toddler who demands attention. 

Shame about NYC but I totally understand. We had booked our California trip before I found out I was pg and I had the same worry. Luckily the ms passed by the time we were heading off.

We are meeting up with my parents who are staying in Nice so they will be with us for a few days in Antibes. It will be good to have some company and help with Hannah.

Do you know how many weeks you are now?

Donna- The farm sounds like a great idea, Hannah would love that! I must take her to one. Shouldn't be too difficult as we are in the country. Her animal noises are brilliant particularly her cow. We have a field of them across the road so she hears them all the time.

Emma- Sounds like things are kicking off! Good idea to be around people at the moment.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

No babies emerged during the course of the morning.  It was really odd thinking that the next time I see everyone there will be a baby too (all being well). There is no going back. 

Seeing mw tomorrow. She wants to do a sweep on Sunday, but I really don't know whether or not to agree. What if I can't manage it? I really struggled with Will's induction. I'm not used to having strange hands up my bits!

Annie - what a shame about NYC. Could you go a month or two later before you get too big and uncomfortable? I second the crisps thing. Funnily enough, eggs were the thing I couldn't stomach.


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Emma- I dreaded having a sweep too. Luckily Hannah made her appearance before I was to have it done. Hopefully things will start to progress before Sunday.

Where is everyone else today


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone,

OOH Emma things are starting, I will have to make sure I log on while I am at my aunts as I fear I will miss some exciting news otherwise.

Annie glad you have felt better today, are you being sick much now? how many weeks are you?

Farm was nice the boys loved it. There was a field of sheep that you could walk through and Ryan loved running about and touching all the sheep he was shreaking with laughter.
I am absoultley shattered though.

I didn't take the news tablet last night because I had already taken the old one in the morning so I am taking the first one tonight

Deedee south of france is fab and your get a bit of a break if parents are there to

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

aaah, Emma - you let me down! I was so hoping you'd break your waters at M&T   Hopefully you won't get to the sweep. Get her to see if your cervix is "favourable" before she attempts a sweep. No point even trying one if it's not prime to go anyway. 

Deedee - I did try Cyclizine and it didn't do anything for me. I think like you said life just has to go on hold until it passes. Hmm, prawn cocktail crisps. Will give them a go tomorrow! 

Donna - Good luck with the new tablet tonight. Hope they bring you a nice snooze tonight   Sounds like you had a great time at the farm today.

Well, I'm absolutely pooped after a whole day of being on the clock   Just about to out Hannah to bed and crawl into mine.

Night x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

How are we all today?

Donna - did you get a good night's sleep?

Annie - did you try the crisps?

No news here.....


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone,

New tablets completly knocked me out I was in bed at 8pm and out cold till 5am and even then I just stired.
They made me feel very drunk and reactions were slower so not sure I like them, I will try taking them when I am going to bed tonight but I am concerned that the later I take them the more I will still be effected in teh morning.

Emma anymore twunges?

Annie how are you today?

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hello!

Feeling well again today   Was a bit slow getting going this morning, but go there in the end. Took Hannah to a play area this morning and I swear I'm never going again. She's a complete nightmare   She freaks out if any other kid goes on the same aparatus as her or goes within 10 feet of her to be honest. She spends the whole time screaming, crying and whinging. All the other Mums were staring at me and one even said to me "is she always like this?" - how flippin rude!!!!

Donna - Those sound like tranqulisers! Prob a good idea to take them near to bed time. If they are making you a bit slow in the mornings, then you might have to go back to the GP again. How are the boys doing? 

Emma - you've got us all on edge now waiting for news! Hurry up and crack him out  


Deedee - You are a genius! Prawn Cocktail crisps went down a treat this morning!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - try for a couple of nights and see if it gets any better. You can always go back to the GP if not. Perhaps they could give you something just slightly less powerful? Maybe your body needs a few days to get used to them.


Annie - great that you are feeling better today!  Ignore silly rude mothers. I've had people say that to me too about Will. I'd never dream of saying it to someone else (even if I though it). Keep eating the crisps!

Just been to the mw. No sweep until Tuesday. She thinks I may have a UTI.  BP has cme way down though  - all this sitting around doing nothing must be working. It is very boring though.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie glad you are feeling better, teh anti sickness meds and the crisps must be working. How long will you have to take the anti sickness meds for?
When is your scan? have you booked it yet?

Emma any news??

Claire how are you hun? is it 2 weeks till you go away now?

Polly, Deedee hope you are both well

Boys were a complete nightmare at sing and sign this morning they just don't want to sit and sing anymore they much prefer to climb and grab everything- including all teh props for the class all at the wrong times of course. I dispear I really do somethies, they are typical adnventurous toddlers now (even though Callum isn't toddling yet)

Donna x x

ooh Emma just seen your post - no sweep till tues does that mean she thinks something will happen before then?
I bet it happens on sunday and I will be driving down to hastings dying to log on as soon as I arrive


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Party for tomorrow night just cancelled - thank goodness. I'm really nor up to working but couldn't cancel it


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I think she just said Tuesday because she isn't working until then, rather than send a mw that I don't know. I explained that I was a bit anxious about the sweep.
Dh seems really annoyed that she didn't say it was going to happen today.  Its not like I have any say in the timing. 

Perhaps sign and sign isn't the right activity for the boys any more. I wouldn't go if neither you nor them are getting anything out of it. Have you paid for a whole term? You could try something more physical maybe - do you have tumbletots near you?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi again,

Feeling very gloomy this afternoon. This is the first time this week that I have been on my own and I don't like being on my own at the moment. I can't get motivated to do anything and feel so crap

Emma I looked into tunble tots as I am sure they boys (espcially Ryan) would love it but you pay by term plus you have to pay annual memebership so a 10 wk term would cost me 152.00 which includes a 10%sibling discount. I can't afford that upfront
I have paid for the term with sing and sign but I think I have started it when the boys are to old so doubt I will be returning next term.

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

£152 is a lot of money.   I didn't realise it was so expensive.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Its 6 pounds per session plus you have to pay 20 pound annual membership


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I see everyone is having a far more exciting and successsful afternoon than mine


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, not sure if my afternoon is successful, and it isn't exciting   But it is busy .   Take care of yourself.

Love
polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

sorry wasn't ahving a go at anyone in my last post just feeling pretty pathetic and worthless


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon not exciting, not sucessful, and not even busy. Mainly consisted of Will having tantrums and causing chaos and me struggling not to shout at him.  Think he is going stir crazy with being under house arrest.

You are _not_ worthless Donna.  I wish I could come down and help in some way.....


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning everyone,

Claire I hope you have a nice weekend

Annie how are you? are things continuing to improve?

Emma any change? we are on tender hooks

Feeling rubbish today I feel really angry but I don't know why and I just want to be myself.
Probably going to give aerobics a miss but going round my parents later as its my dad's birthday today

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - were the tablets any better last night/this morning? Hope you have a nice time at your parents. Do they know that you are having a tough time at the moment, or do you have to put on a bit of a front with them?

Feeling a bit  and  today. Will is going off with SIL and her brood to stay with MIL for half term. It is the sensible option as she is the only person who would take him, day or night, if I went into labour, and she has to go away. In all honesty, I am really starting to struggle to look after him, as he moves so much faster than me and is into everything, but I feel _very_ guilty. He will be there for a week as SIL is getting a lift to MIL's and has no car to get back here. If I give birth early in the week dh will drive up there and bring him back though.

How is everyone else? Hope you all have a lovely weekend.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning Emma,

I don't seem effected by tablets this monring I am just very tired and feel very low.

I can understand you feeling guilty about Will going away but you have no reason to. Will will have a great time with SIL and MIL not to mention playing all day with his cousins and hopefully you can have a few days of rest and 'me' time before the new addition arrives.
Will will be having such a great time I am sure you will miss him far more than he misses you if that is any comfort

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Thanks Donna. I know you're right. He loves playing with them, and is really bored at home with me. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself though (remind me of this in a few weeks time when I'm complaining about never getting a minute to myself ).


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Pack his bags as quick as you can and sit down for 5 minutes! Will is going to have a ball at the Out Laws and this is your very last chance to have some time to yourself. £10 says you go into labour as soon as he goes because you'll be so relaxed  


Donna - Give these tablets a chance. As with a lot of medications, they can take a little while to kick in. Enjoy the next few days at your Aunt's and take advantage of all opportunities to relax and take a breather.


Feeling well again today. Hannah is off to my Mum's for the night and DH is out on a stag do. Home alone  - yeeehaaaa!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - glad you're feeling better.  Have a lovely evening.

Donna - hope you have a lovely time at your aunts. I bet it will do you the world of good.

Will has gone. I cried bucket loads when he went.  Going to try and relax now (if only I wasn't so uncomfortbale).


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, I am sure you were far more upset than will was. Try and enjoy some time to yourself casue in a few days time your life will never be the same again  
Could you please pm me your address I do have it but do you think I can find it   I have some bits for you, Will and of course the new arrival I wanted to send them ages ago and for it to be a surprise but as I said I can't find your address  

I hope your enjoying your first night of relaxation and a lay in tomorrow - you lucky thing

I haven't packed yet   don't have the energy and heart isn't in it

Donna x x


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## jjb (Feb 9, 2008)

Hello

I have been searching and searching for a forum where people understand vaginismus. My husband and I are desperate for a baby but it is not easy when you have this. We have been 'trying' for 6 months now using a syringe and still have not been successful. 

Has anyone on here been successful conceiving with vag? I have never had sex, never ever been able to so would love to hear from someone who has been in the same situation as me and has been able to have a baby.

 jjb (unfortunate initials I know) lol


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning everyone,

Just checking in before we leave to see if there was any news from Emma.

jjb welcome to our thread, I know the others on here will share there stories with you and be a great support to you. we all have slightly different stories with different outcomes.
I am going away fro a few days and although I will be logging on I wont have time to post my story but I will do it when I get back.

I am glad you have found us, this through this thread many of us have overcome vag with the support of each other and gone on to have children and hopefully you will be no expception.

Take care
Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Still here...


Donna - have a lovely time at your aunts. Looks like you'll have great weather too. 

jjb - just seen your post. I'm going to come back this afternoon and tell you my story, if that is OK (just about to go out). We did the syringe thing for a while too. Didn't want you to feel ignored. You are in the right place here.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Awww, that must have been tough seeing Will go off   It really is the best for both of you though   Did you have a nice lie in this morning? Any more twinges?

Donna - Go and have a nice few days with your family. Hope the break does you some good  

JJB - Welcome   Sorry to hear that you are dealing with vaginismus. You've definitely come to the right place. Between all of us we have a lot of experience of dealing with it in different ways. I managed to overcome my anxieties and have bms with the help of the team, relaxtion classes and perseverence! I think Donna and Emma are the syringe experts here, but I'm sure we can all chip in. Have you spoken to your GP about your vag and wanting to conceive?


DH is in bed with a hangover   I've just collected Hannah from my Mum's. Had a monster cleaning session before I went to get her -a sure sign I'm feeling alot better  

Have a lovely day in the sunshine everyone x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - you sound so much better! Fantastic! 

It is so strange being childfree. I have so much time on my hands.  Not worried about Will now. It sounds like he is having a whale of a time on his little holiday  - chasing MIL's animals, playing with his cousins etc. I went to the farmers market with dh this morning and waddled around a bit in the sunshine. It is quite nice to have some time just with dh. 

JJB - hello again.  My story is this. I had vaginimus all my adult life. I think I'd been with dh for about 10 years before I did anything about it. I didn't even realise that it was a condition or that other people had it, and thought I was some sort of freak. When my biological clock started ticking a bit too loudly I knew that I had to see a doctor and seek some advice. 

My GP was fantastic, and gave me lots of information about support groups etc. She also referred me to a psychosexual counsellor (who helped me work through the psychological reasons for the vag - very useful, but very painful too) and to a gynaecologist (worked on the physical side of things). Being the NHS, it took ages to get started though. 

The gynaecologist did a laparoscopy to check for any blockages (there weren't any) and a vaginal stretching operation (done at the same time under general anaesthetic). He then gave me vaginal dilators to help stretch the muscles. He started off with very small ones (seemed huuuuge at the time), and we worked up in size each month. The largest one was the size of the real thing. That took about 6 months and then I was able to attempt 'proper' sex. It took a few goes, but eventually I was able to do it, and some time later even managed to enjoy it.

This group was the key thing in helping me to get where I did, because I was able to talk about the frsutrations and setbacks with people who actually understood. And the wonderful ladies here provided the support and motivation to keep persevering.

I was lucky enough to conceive my little boy after about 4 months of managing to have sex. Before this time we had been trying ttcing with a syringe but had no luck. Anecdotally I've heard of people who do manage to conceive with a syringe, and my GP even suggested it. I think it didn't work for us because dh's   weren't the strongest. Actual sex (or IUI) gets them closer to where they need to go.

The alternative, which we would have done if things hadn't worked out, was IUI (Donna is the expert on this one).

Please feel free to ask any questions at all about anything.


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## jjb (Feb 9, 2008)

Thank you for all making me feel so welcome. I did pluck up the courage to go to my GP a couple of years ago who sent me for councelling. It did help a little bit, i.e I practiced with my finger which made me feel more confident but at the same time I hated doing it - it felt horrible. But I didn't like the way she went on and on about my family etc as to find a reason why I am the way I am. I have not had any bad experiences or anything like that. On the last session she said the next session she would do an internal.... I never went back.   

I feel so embarrassed going to my doctors and feel I should go but I feel sick at the thought. Everytime I go for any other reason he gives me a smear test lecture. I would like to have done what you had done emma that stretching and checking for blockages under general anaesthetic but I don't know how I would go about it without having an internal awake first. I don't know if I would ask my GP for this or if they would do it. Whereabouts in the country are you emma?

A year ago I got some light strength valium to try to have sex that way. I was soooooo relaxed and not tense at all, but my DH just couldn't get it in. 

We are doing the syringe thing and using a 1ml syringe which goes in no problem at all (they are very thin). 

Did everyone here get through it using the dilators and how do I get them?

Thanks for reading my essay - I feel so much better now I have found people that understand. No one knows about this except DH, now I have been married over a year you get the 'when are you having a baby' question from everyne!

You have all done really well to get through this I wish I had your strength. 

jjb


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again jjb,

I got my dilators from the gynaecologist but you can buy them online (I think they send them in discreet packaging). I seem to remember that Polly got hers from a chemists (a long story) near her gynaecologist. I'll have a quick google and see if I can come up with something. I think I might have found it intimidating having the whole set at once; it was easier to work up in stages.

Although I saw the counsellor and gynaecologist, I think everyone else overcame things on their own (Polly's case is a bit different).

I think you are doing really well if you can get the 1ml syringe in. It is a question of building your confidence and working up from there. Have you tried a 2ml one, and then maybe a 5ml? I know that if you're on a 1ml, a 10ml would lok far too big. Do you use lots of lubricant?

I'll PM you with my whereabouts.


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## jjb (Feb 9, 2008)

Hiya

I don't use any lubricant for the 1ml and have not braved any other sizes yet as 1ml is like a pencil but that doesn't bother me at all. I barely feel it, maybe I should get the next size that is a good idea. I have got preseed gel but I think the sperm gets lost in it so I don't bother to use it. 

Period is due in 2 weeks but we are still going for it until next weekend, used a ovulation test thing today and both strips lit up so that is always good?? Does that mean I am ovulating?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Had a busy weekend, with DN's engagement party ( ) and then DSS and DDiL and grandson. He is now almost one, and walking quite happily - at that stage where he thinks he is just SO clever doing it and you can just tell! Can I ask tho', I know all kids are different, but he is amazingly quiet.... loads of eye contact, but no burbling or gurgling or anything whatsoever. He hardly ever whinges or cries, but it happens occasionally, and obviously he makes a noise then, but it is over quite quickly. I would have thought by now, he might be play-talking, but maybe he is going to be the strong silent type? I am sure that he gets the right check-ups, and he does live with his other grandma, so I guess I shouldn't worry, or should I?

Donna, if you get this before you go, have a nice time, and take advantage of the chance of a rest.

Annie, glad you are feeling a bit better

Emma - have that baby already!

Claire - Hi!

JJB - good to have you with us - although my story is a bit different from the others, we can all help. i have been so impressed by how well everyone did once we all got together, so you too can be touched by the vag team magic! I can understand how knowing what was likely to happen at your next appt put you off to that extent, depending on where you are in the country we might be able to help with sympathetic docs. I am a great believer in private docs, because the NHS let me down so badly over 36 years, but others have had good experiences with the NHS - so either way, we can help. Just be patient, as Donna and I are away this week, and Emma has to go and have another baby at some point  . 

Loads of love to all

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

I'm back at work! Can't linger this morning as got alot to catch up on.

Be back this afternoon.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - glad you are back at work. 

Polly - I guess I've missed you now. Hope you have a good trip to wherever it is you are going. I can't remember how much 'happy' noise Will made at that age. I seem to remember he said 'ha' a lot. He did lots of whinging though.  Perhaps he has concentrated all his energies on learning to walk, and speaking will come a bit later; under one is quite early for a boy to be walking confidently (in my limited experience). Can't wait to hear all about DN's engagement party.

Jjb - have sent you a PM about my consultant's details. 

Claire - hope you come back soon. I'm going to get very onely with everyone away and/or busy.

Deedee - hello! Is it beautifully sunny and springlike with you?

I don't quite know what to do with myself today. I'll tidy up the house, but it isn't that messy, and do some dull admin type things. And then what?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

lay on the sofa with something yummy and chocolate covered and watch a DVD - like the good old days!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Not yet gone, going this afternoon. Will someone send me a text when Daff2 arrives? I am so looking forward to this break, as I won't be able to go swimming or anything, and I am SO knackered with keeping it up! My trainer (!) told me that this happens at about three weeks, and it did, but then it has lasted three weeks, and I am still not out the other side! Not even lost any more weight!  

Take care all!

Love
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - I will send you a text (or get dh to) when the baby arrives. I suspect you'll be back before he does arrive though. 
Have a great time. 

Hmmm, perhaps  I could spend all this free time finally learning how to send texts.  

Annie - I don't have (or have lost) your mobile no. I could send you a text too as and when something happens. Perhaps you could pm it to me?

Sofa plus chocolate (I have mini eggs) plus film sounds good. If only I could lie or sit comfortably though....


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

hi all,

Just nipping on hoping that H goes over soon. She is in her cot but it could go either way! 

jjb- Welcome to the thread! You are in the right place. I self- diagnosed myself with vag as penetration was sometimes possible and sometimes not. It was uncomfortable most of the time and just didnt 'feel right'. Like you there is no past traumatic experience that caused it. I found that when I was most relaxed (usually after a few glasses of wine) thing became easier. I didnt try dilators like some of the others but I understand they can help things a lot. Things became a lot harder when we started ttc as there was so much pressure to 'do it' at certain times. We were very lucky to have conceived about 6 months after starting to try. I have never tried the syringe method either so cant advise you on that-sorry.

Emma- It is most definately spring-like here, the sun is streaming through the windows (pity it shows how dirty they are!). Going to take H to the park later to tire her out! You take it easy- Watching TV and eating choc are all you are allowed to do today 

Polly- Have a great time if I havent missed you! I cant remember where you are going either 

Annie- How you feeling hun?

back later x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone,

So pleased I haven't missed anything I have been checking my phone for texts from Emma but I see you are enjoying some rest and relaxation which is great. Could you pm me your address please Emma? I have a nice package to send you, I wanted it to be a surprise but I couldn't find your address anywhere.

Annie so pleased you are feeling better, will you be able to stop taking teh anti sickness drugs? or will that make you sick again? - not sure how these things work

Polly where are you off to now? is it work or pleasure?

JJB I haven't forgotten you I will send you a pm once I have the time as I don't want to rush it. Where abouts in the country are you?

Claire how are you hun? long time no hear

Having a nice time away weather is lovely and its nice having lots of extra hands about to take the pressure off me.
I do feel I have left all the $hit at home but I still can't work out what the $hit is if that makes sense?
Still taking teh meds obviously and they knock me out at night but I am still feeling tired.

Taken the boys swimming today and Ryan was jumping in off the side, he continues to amaze me he isn't scared of anything. Callum is much more timid.
Still no walking from callum - he is far to lazy, he CAN do it just chooses not to.

Deedee my lilly's will probably be dead when I get home so I will replace them with daffodills.

DH has said that for valentines day I can have an afternoon to myself when I get back and treat myself. I am thinking of a facial and massage depending on how much money we have by the end of the week.

Right I have babbled far to much now

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I'll pm my mobile number to you after this post. Hope you're having a relaxing afternoon. I had some mini eggs this morning - good aren't they   When are you seeing the Madwife? Did you say Tuesday? Is this the same Madwife who said there's no way you'd go to your due date    

Donna - Sounds like you are having a lovely time at the sea side. Keep enjoying yourself and letting all those extra hands take the pressure off you.
I wonder if maybe you could do with going back to work? Maybe a few hours or 1 day a week. Just so you have a bit of me time? Something other than being wife and Mum? I know childcare might be an issue, but the government can help out with some costs. Might be worth considering maybe?
What a nice Valentines gift! go for both if you can  

Deedee - Feeling so much better thanks. I think the sickness tablets were making me worse in some ways   I started feeling better when I stopped taking them - weird i know. I haven't had them since last Thursday and am now managing to eat alot more. In fact, I think I'm making up for lost time   I have about 5 small meals a day now  

Polly - I will text you if there's any news. Have a lovely time with DH  

JJB - I echo Polly's comments about having a Dr who understands and who you trust. Your GP sounds like he/she was taking things far too quickly and scared you. I think a mix of professional help and our support would get you to where you want to be


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I can't believe you are overdue Emma after all those scares a few weeks ago I hope things start naturally soon. I would do you a labour dance but I can't get onto the smiles at the mo.

Annie I am with you with the 5 meals a day its one of the side effects of my new meds I am hungry all the time


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - you sound so much more like your old self.  That sea air must be doing you good. Valentine's treat sounds lovely. What a nice dh.

Annie - yes, the same mw who said I wouldn't get to term.   She is coming round tomorrow to check me out and do a sweep.   

Deedee - hope you had a nice time at the park.

I have had the mini-eggs, but they were a little disappointing. They were M&S ones and didn't quite hit the mark in the same was as Cadbury's ones. I still managed to force them down though.  No DVD.  Will has broken our DVD player (stuffed lots of discs in and now the tray won't open). We have a spare one, but I couldn't manage to connect it properly. I'll have to get dh to do it tonight.


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Emma- Shame about the mini-eggs, sometimes only the real thing will do! 

Annie- Glad you are feeling better. I think you are over the worst.

Donna- You sound like you are feeling a bit better. What a lovely Valentine gift- you lucky thing!
Annie has a point, what do you think about going back to work even one or two days? Doesnt have to be what you were doing before but I also think you need to have something that is just for you.

Claire- Where are you? Let us know how things are with you 

Anybody watching LOST? Did you see it last night? Will they EVER get rescued......?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning  

Deedee - Oh thank the Lord that you are watching LOST too. I was having a real moan about it at the office yesterday. What the eck is going on?!?! Flashbacks with old characters, Flashbacks with new people dropping out of the sky - I am utterley confused and couldn't even hazard a guess as to what the long term plot is. Strange how these flashbacks are showing TV footage of them discovering the plane with all passengers on board and deceased?!? What's that all about? Of course - I still feel compelled to keep watching. I need to know now! 
The promotional gumpf for this season promised more answers, so we better get some  


Donna - Hope you're still enjoying the sea side  

Emma - There aren't many things worse than let down chocolate. I can taste your dissapointment   Good Luck with the sweep today. Hope it isn't too unpleasant.


Claire - Hi. Hope you're ok. Looking forward to your holiday?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

I got lost with Lost in the 2nd series, and gave up on it. 

Nothing happening here.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hmmm, Emma - I got some Cadbury's mini eggs! Melting in the mouth as I type. Just had to rub it in


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I'm very jealous. If I wasn't waiting in for the mw and a parcel I'd nip out and get some right away.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Emma I hope the sweep gets things moving this baby needs to be born before Will comes home but at this rate he will still be snug inside.

I wasn't feeling to good this morning and I thought today would be a bad day but so far its not to bad. It does help that I am occupied and have lots of help.

Been on the phone to the bank this morning and it seems my card as been cloned - I was shocked and it has been used serveral times in the phillapines. card as now been blocked and they are sorting out refunding the money for me.

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - What a pain in the backside. Don't worry about it, the bank will refund you in the next day or two. Glad that you managed to turn a gloomy start around. Hope you've got lots of nice things planned for today. I think this little break is really helping   

Emma - I did have a chuckle to myself! I'll post you a box load of the things if it makes life easier! Have you got all your bags packed ready for the off? How long would it take DH to get home and get you to the hospital?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - how annoying. Hope you get the money back very soon.

Yes, bags all packed, and have been for weeks (perhaps that jinxed things). Would take dh about 1-1.5 hours to get home. I'm beginnin to doubt that that there really is a baby inside me.

I am very bored.....


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Have you decided on a name yet, or are you keeping it secret until he's with us?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Erm, still no name.  Going to see what he looks like. Dh did agree to one of my choice of 1st names, but I'm not sure if he meant it.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

mw just been. Got to go into hospital for monitoringc(bp v high again). Might just be for the afternoon though. Eeeeek.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello all,

Emma I hope bp comes down but I think that considering your are over due they will induce you this afternoon - don't know why I am writting that as if that does happen you wont be reading this will you!
I hope things start naturally though as induction is horrible (thankfully for me I cant be induced if there is a next time) 
Did MW still do the sweep?

Had a lovely day today and I am exhuasted.
Spent some time on the beach, Ryan wanted to go in the sea. Spent some time in the arcades- which is a favourite past time of mine
Took the boys to a soft play area which was also excellent!

Once the boys are in bed DH and I are going to go out for a few hours. probably going to have a couple of games of bowling has haven't done that for ages. I can't drink on meds but will enjoy an orange juice.

Go go go Emma....... pussssshhhhh......

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh - I've not heard anything from Emma. Wonder what's happening  

Donna - glad you've had a lovely day   Have a nice time out with DH tonight  


I did have a saga to report, but too excited about Emma now. I'll report back in the morning, unless I hear anything before! 

Go Emma!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I'm back.  

By the time I got to hospital, despite feeling rather anxious, bp had come right down.  Can't help wondering if the mw (a locum) measured it correctly. Protein levels are very high though. They took some blood and are checking that my kidneys are perforimng alright. They wanted to keep me in overnight for monitoring, but not to induce, but I asked if I could go home instead. I think a good night's sleep in my own bed is a better preparation for what is to come in the next few days. A mw will come and check everything tomorrow (hopefully the normal one not the locum), and I have to go back on Thursday for monitoring and to talk about induction with the consultant.
I also have to fill a vat with my urine for 24 hrs and take that back with me - lovely!

It may be that I have some sort of infection rather than pre-eclampsia.

Anyhow, it might all kick off normally in the meantime.  

Annie - I want to hear your saga....

Donna - glad you had a nice day in the end.  Why can't you be induced next time?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

oh Emma I really thought this was it for you. Make the most of the next few days of rest. I really hope things kick off for you naturally tomorrow after a good nights rest. Did MW do sweep?

I don't think I can be induced next time becasue I had a C-section with the boys. I don't think they can risk my womb going into spasm or something because of my scar but maybe I'm wrong ??

Annie what was your saga?

Had a nice few hours out had 3 games of bowling (DH won 2 out 3) I game of air hocky which I won and a game on the dance mat arcade thing which I also won

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Cripes! A bucket full of wee wee - they don't want much do they!?! I'll do a labour dance for you and hope it brings things on naturally. 

Donna - Glad you had a good night out with DH 

OK, so my saga - never that interesting as always, but I was hacked off all the same. 

I had a phone call yesterday afternoon from the letting agent of the property we stayed in when we flooded. The lease is still ours until the middle of March, even though I did tell them the house was empty and we had moved home. The lady in charge of our letting popped in to check on the house yesterday and called me to let me know that it would not pass the final inspection when we hand the keys in as it wasn't clean enough - OH MY GOD! That has to be the single most insulting thing anyone could say to me. My friends call me Monica because I'm so obsessed with cleaning. I was mortified!

Well, I couldn't relax after that. So, packed Hannah off to MIL's and went round there for two solid hours to go back over everything again!  I took my Dyson, a bag full of cleaning products and my lovely mop and bucket and I cleaned for all it was worth. I was exhausted afterwards. 

Admittedly I did miss cleaning the microwave plate - there was a blob of sauce on there the size of a 5p! and she pointed out there were a couple of finger marks on the t.v screen I had missed! Other than that I don't know what else she wants - blood?!?! I hardly left it like a cess pit. 

Oh the shame! I'm going to go back again on Saturday for another last final check. She's made me paranoid now that I'll have missed a speck of dust somewhere!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I am shocked at the silly letting agent woman. How ridiculous of her. I'd have been mortified too (and would probably not have cleaned it half as well as you in the first place). 

The house is so quiet. The dog has been sent away to kennels now, so it really is just me here.  I am determined that this will be my last day with a bump, so I'm going to veg out on the sofa and watch tv and read magazines.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Good plan Emma! Enjoy these last few hours before the chaos begins!

I am still mortified this morning. Really upset actually. I'd hate anyone to think I was scuzzy! Seriously though, how much can one do? I have hoovered and mopped the floors, polished and dusted everything, cleaned all the surfaces in the kitchen, the hob, the fridge, microwave, cleaned all the bathrooms, washed and folded all the towels, floor mats.I could go on and on.

I have spent hours on that house!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Could you get her to have a look again today, agree that it is perfect, and hand the keys over now? Otherwise you'll have to be back every day dusting.

Just had the mw round to do a sweep. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. I couldn't stop shaking though (still can't). Apparently I am 4cm dilated and this one is finally on his way out.  Don't quite know what to do with myself now.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

You're 4cm dilated?!?!?  and you haven't felt more than a twinge?!? How can that be!?! i had the Tens machine on at 4cms and was puffing a fair bit - maybe it really is different with number 2?

Do they not want to see you up the hospital today?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hospital want to see me tomorrow if things haven't got going.

Mw said stay at home until things kick off. Dh is on standby to come home, but there is nothing he can do at the moment. Mw said to call an ambulance if things get fast and furious very quickly, or the local hospital (not the one I'm supposed to go to) can send a mw out to me. 
Nothing can happen for an hour  - all my clean jeans are drying in the  tumble drier.  

I'm sure I was using TENs before 4cm last time too. I feel clueless about all this.

I'm too scared to move or do anything in case it starts hurting.


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Hi all,

Emma- 4 cms  are you not feeling twinges? Mind you my friend was told the same thing with her second and thought things were starting but then realised that after pushing number 1 out she probably had been 4cms ever since!! 

Hate to say this but try to enjoy the vegging as you'll be wondering what that is in  few weeks 

Speaking of poking around 'down there' I have booked a smear for.... TODAY!!!! I still cant believe I've done it. I havent had one since before Hannah Im ashamed to say and keep ignoring the letters. I finally took the bull by the horns and am booked in for 1:30. Why am I being such a child about this? Ive pushed out a 8lb 6 baby for goodness sake!!  I feel sick........

Annie- I think that letting agent woman should take the Monica crown- is she sane? on drugs? She obviously hasn't seen many student houses in her time. She is probably suffering from OCD poor thing.....

Donna- Glad you got the credit card thing sorted. That's happening so much these days I always keep  check using online banking to make sure someone hasnt stolen my details and is living it up at my expense. You and DH sound like you are having a ball- what is air hockey by the way?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Ooh Deedee, you might have a point there.  

Well done on bokig the smear. I keep ignoring the letters too.  Hope it goes OK.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Deedee - Wow! - You go girl! Nothing like seizing the moment. I'm sure it'll go really well. After all the internals needed during labour, this will be a walk in the park  

Emma - You are literally a ticking time bomb! Can you not feel anything at all? not even back ache?


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

You know what? Ive just realised what an idiot I am being. Emma is about to push out a baby and Im moaning about going for a smear


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Deedee - I think a smear is a _far_ scarier prospect. The baby pushing sort of takes care of itself.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Still here, still nothing happening.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I am back home now and far to excited about Emma to say anything.

Just had a very annoying conversation with car insurance company and I will be chnaging companies they are unbelievable 

WO wo GO go Emma

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

_Please_ say something, Donna. I want to take my mind off this 'waiting for something to happen' business.

Just had a conversation with SIL moaning about her car insurance company too. They are taking forever to pay out for her stolen car, and quibbling over every detail.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma any twinges yet?

Car insurance is a boring story really,
My insurance is up for renewal and I just got a letter telling me that becasue I pay by DD they were renewing it automatically but didn't tell me how much it was - That was the first thing that annoyed me!
I rang them to find out how much it was and it had gone up when I told them about other quotes I had they very rudely just said that was the best they could do! so I told them where they could stick it!!!!
I am now going to go with tesco and get a 50 pound voucher to use on shipping by taking up the quote so I am happpy and the quote was half the price. 

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

How annoying.   Normally they cut their price when you threaten to go elsewhere. Glad you found a good alternative though.

No twinges, I don't think. Just had a very long bath. Am hoping nothing happens now until 8.30 when dh gets home (he can get back earlier if need be). I want to eat some dinner and watch Corrie.  

Been googling  and found that some people stay at this stage for days.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hoping you wont be one of the Emma. The sweep may get things moving a little quicker - lets hope x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I've not had any news from Emma, so guessing she's either still with us or very busy pushing right now.

I shall of course log on as soon as I hear anything and send texts to everyone for extra measure  


Deedee - How did the smear go?!?!

Donna - How very rude of that company! Their loss and Tesco's gain. I ddin't know they gave out shopping vouchers. I might have to take a look myself!


Nothing much to report here. I had a lovely evening out with some friends last night. We went to a nice bar in town and caught up with each others news. It was so good to be out of the house


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie you are obviously feeling much better as you went out last night, DH and I are hoping to go out nest week sometime so have been looking aroubnd for a resturant to try.

Emma as there has been no post I am assuming things have got going/or maybe you have gone to the hospital for monitering today(did she still have to go I can't remember)

Deedee Air hockey is a table game where you have a disk and you stand at either end and have to hit to each other trying to score goals - not sure that really explainsa it though

Claire how are you?

Polly are you back yet?

JJB hello are you still with us?

Feeling rubbish today and had to drag myself out of bed, do not feel good today.

Donna x  x


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## ~ S ~ (Oct 27, 2003)

Hi ladies  

Sorry for gate crashing, but when you have news from Emma can you let us know on the April/May 2006 birth thread   I'm sure i'll keep checking on here though throughout the day  

Thinking of you Emma    

S xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Shelley - I shall of course let you know as soon as we hear anything  

Donna - Sorry you're having a down day. Keep focussing on your night out with DH next week and finding somewhere yummy to eat. Have you got anything planned for today?

Emma - PUSH!!!!


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Emma- Im thinking of you, I hope things have started to happen and you are not still waiting 

Donna- Now I know what air hockey is-thanks.I want to try that yahoo messenger thingy and then we can have online chats. Do you how I can get it?

Did anyone receive any Valentine's treats? Im going to cook something yummy for din dins and get some champers in. Is my DH a lucky guy or what

H is going to get her check up and MMR tomorrow


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Deedee - Good job you mentioned the MMR. Hannah has her's booked in next week and I completely forgot about it. I'm feeling a bit anxious about it  

Nope, nothing special for me today. Our reception area has had to obtain two ( ) large tables to stand all the deliveries on - so depressing to watch! I'm going to cook DH his fave dinner tonight - steak with stilton! If I get 5 minutes to get to the shops this afternoon.

Emma must be at the hospital. she would have posted otherwise. Hope we hear something soon


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon all,

Something must be happening for Emma this is so exciting waiting for news.

Dh got me a lovely card, a bear and some choc bless him we don't usually do valentines day so it was a lovely gesture with everything that is going on at the moment. I feel guilty for not getting him anything now, I just think it is all such a waste of money and I would rather DH got me something 2 weeks earlier or later and had actually thought about it rather than feeling forcesd into it which I think Valentines day forces you to do. As you can tell I am hardly a romantic.

We took the boys to the farm again today as the boys loved it so much and DH didn't come last time. We got there though and was having some yummy farm food in the Cafe and Callum was sick EVERYWHERE poor love. He still isn't himself

Deedee to get Yahoo I think you go to yahoo.co.uk or .com and can download the messenger from there. (Polly is the expert here)

I am feeling broody as there are quite a few people I know that are pregnant at the moment or off having babies. DH did say we would start trying in June but with this Stupid PND thing I don't know what to do now

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Popping on for news form Emma, the suspense is killing me.

CALLY71, good luck for your lap and dye hoping you get a BFP this time too. Thanks for the positive words for Claire - I hope she reads this as I know she is feeling very defeated by the whole thing and reading your story may make her feel more positive that she will go on to have a baby.

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Sorry, no news yet. I hate this part  

Hope it's all going well  


Cally - Hoping all goes well for you at the next lap & dye. Lovely words for our Claire  


Donna - It's a tough one. The broody feeling is a strong one, but you do need to consider your health. You know we'll support you in any decisions you make


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## jjb (Feb 9, 2008)

Hi

Donna - yes I am still here checking every day for news on Emma's baby. Its so exciting - a new baby! 

Quick question. Has anyone on here never had sex yet conceived using syringe method? Last month my period was 11 days late - talk about false hope!!! My periods are never ever late - they always bang on every 28 days. But we still trying.

Has everyone had a nice valentines day? My lovely husband cooked me lovely meal and baked a cake in shape of heart he so cute. Just relaxing with a glass of champagne now whilst he watching Tottenham! lol

Hope everyone well.

Jen


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hiya Jen

I am so sorry I haven't posted to you properly I will post you my whole story soon I will try my best to do it tommorrow.

DH is watching tottenham - I AM NOT ha ha

still no news come on Emma PUSH!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope all is ok

Donna x x


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Just popping on to see if there's any news- Oh flippin heck the suspense is killing me!!!!!

Donna- Ill check out the yahoo thing

Annie- Steak with stilton-mmmm must try that one.

The smear wasnt half as bad as I was expecting. All over in 5 minutes. I feel very proud of myself


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Still no news. I wonder what's happening  


Deedee - WELL DONE!!!! Really pelased the smear was traumatic free.  How was your Valentines dinner last night? I didn't manage to cook the steak and stilton in the end. Felt a bit icky last night and ended up going to bed - leaving DH with the footie. I really will have to make it up to him when I'm back on form.


Donna - Morning! What have you got on today?

Jen - What a lovely hubbie you have! I sent mine a text yesterday asking where my flowers were and he replied  - same place as my breakfast in bed! - cheeky!

Right - I'll be back if I hear anything x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Oh I really thought there would be some news by now, poor Emma this seems to be taking ages. Hope she is ok

Off to sing and sign then me and the boys are going to get our hair cut so I wont be back till this afternoon/evening. Hope there will be some news by then

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone,

Still no news

Not having hair done today. After Callum being sick yesterday, Ryan waas sick today so have rebooked me and the boys in to have our hair cuts next thursday now instead

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Nope, still no news. I hope Emma's alright. Her blood pressure did scare me!

Hopefully we'll hear by tea time today


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

oh dear, no news. I thought there would be a new daffodil by the time I got back...hope Emma is ok.

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

I'm back and absolutely fine, if a bit tired and shell-shocked. I stupidly left behind the crucial piece of piece of paper with peoples' phone numbers, so couldn't tell anyone anything. 

Soooooooo. Still no baby and no contractions by Thursday morning. I went into hospital for observation and they decided to admit me and break my waters. Waters broken at 1.30pm yesterday, in labour by 3pm, baby born at 4.15pm. It was very fast and furious and absolute agony (and I pooed in front of dh and the mws  ). The baby (still unnamed) is absolutely fine, looks just like Will at the same stage (perhaps all babies look like that), and was 7lb 7oz, I think (only have it in metric at the moment and may have converted wrong). They kept us in overnight, and we've not long got home. 

I have been - sort of - managing to breast feed, but don't know if that will continue. Baby 2 latches on brilliantly (which Will never did) but it is absolute agony  - brings tears to the eyes. I need to do a bit of research and find out if that is normal. If the pain only lasts a few days I might persevere. 

Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

wow! Well done Emma! So proud of you!

Love Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

yeah Well done Emma.

Kricky that was a quick labour wasn't it no wonder you are shocked.
Glad you are both doing well so proud of you.

As it was so quick I am assuming you did it all without pain relief

Donna x x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma I hope you don't mind but I posted your good news on the birth clubs thread    

We have a very poorly Ryan here, After being sick before lunch he has continued to be sick and hasn't be able to keep down water poor love  
He has had a big sleep and did have a little water before then and has kept it down so far. he must be starving has he hasn't eaten since 7am and what he did have he threw up

Glad to have you back Polly, how was your trip? where did you go?

Donna x x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

EMMA    on the birth of 'nameless daffodil'  

kj x


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

​


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hi Again I Annie and Claire haven't posted yet so I think I will text them with Emmas good news. I am still so excited for her

Ryan seems better and was so hungry when he finally woke up he had the shakes poor mite after eating some toast in 1 bite he had some milk. I didn't really want to give him milk but he went bananas when he saw Callum having his and he doesn't understand so we gave him some. He seems ok and is in the bath now.

I have enjoyed DH being at home but I am still feeling teary and very very tired, I am terriefied of him going back to work and having to be on my own again.
He is helping some friends of ours move tomorrow so I will be on my own for a while and I am not looking forward to it.
I don't want to spoil the vibe we have after Emmas news so I wont go on

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks to Donna who text me the fantastic news!

Congratulations Emma, DH & Will!!! 

That was one heck of a labour once you got in there! Dear Lord! Well done you


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Huge congrats to Emma and dh xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I just thought is Claire in Egypt?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Nothing to report here DH has just left to help friends move and the boys are asleep.
Ryan still isn't himself poor love, he refused breakfast which is a first for him.

Emma how was your first night at home with master Daff 2? how is the BF going?
Has Will met his brother yet?

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

First night was very long.  After being very good for most of the day, Master Daffodil2 decided that he wuld like to be wide awake and screaming from about 10pm-2am. I couldn't work out what was upsetting him, but I think it was hunger. It all came flooding back from last time - me in tears despairing that babies don't come with a manual!

I'm afraid I have admitted defeat and abandoned breastfeeding.  It was causing such pain in my boobs that it was making me cry and scream with each suck. Don't know if it was positioning errors, or quite what, but I couldn't do it. Perhaps i should have been less selfish and carried on anyway, but we are where we are. I want to enjoy these first few weeks of number 2's life, which I didn't with Will, as I'm not planning to do it again; I don't want to spend the time in agony and dreading and resenting every feed.t

Will isn't back until tomorrow afternoon. I _really_ miss him, but it is good to have a day or so to rest and not have to worry about him. MIL tells me that he has lots of new words, so I can't wait to see if that is the case.  The dog is back though, so the house doesn't seem quite so empty.  He didn't even notice the baby until it was pointed out to him.

How is everyone else? What are you up to?

Donna - are you Ok on your own without dh today?
Hope Ryan is better soon.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

Thanks for asking after Ryan he has eaten soem lunch and seems much better so hopefully we are over it now.

Today has been ok without DH but I haven't done very much and the boys have been very very well behaved so far. maybe they don't have the energy to play me up as they are ill.

I think you have made the right decision about BF it is far better that you are both happy rather then coninuing becasue you feel you have to. Happy mummy and Baby are most important.
Hope you have a better night tonight  
Get us much rest as you can before Will comes home and enjoy some quiet tiem with new baby and DH. You could even name him    

Has DH got some time off work?

You siad your not planning on doing this again, is this your family complete now?

Donna x x


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Emma- Im so proud of you- well done! Dont worry about the pooing I did it too but couldnt give a hoot at the time. Also try not to worry about the bf. Do you remember I went through the same thing? I was in absolute agony and dreaded feeding. I do believe that even though the baby is latched on properly and you are doing everything right that it just doesnt work for some people- why oh why do midwives not just admit that this is the case?

Hi to everyone else


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Back again,

I am slowly loosing the plot.
I just put the sofa throws into the machine and turned it onto tumble dry instead of wash. It was going round or an hour before I realised. I am so not with it, DH not back yet and I am feeling very irritable with myself for feeling so down and pathetic. no doubt I will take it out on DH when he gets back or the friends he is helping!
I am a useless mum and Wife. I can'r even cope with my children for  7 hours on my own so what kind of mum does that make me.

Other people cope with more than 2 children or a disabled child even so what do I have to moan about?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - you are NOT useless.  You are tired, and stressed, and out of sorts, but that is something else altogether. I have felt like that many a time with just one child. Yes, other people do cope with 2+ children, disabled children, etc, but they too will have moments of not coping at all, you just don't know about them. In fact, SIL tells me that having 3 or more children of diferent ages is easier than 2 because they distract and entertain each other.

Are the throws OK? I bet no real harm was done in the end. Hope you leave it until tomorrow to wash (and dry!) them now.

Got to go, dinner is ready. Hope your evening isn't as bad as you think.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna

first - big hug.

Now, you are a brill mother, and feeling that you are not is a symptom, not reality. It sucks, but it is what your illness is doing to you, not anything else at all. If you were feeling well, you would be laughing your socks off at making that mistake, and telling everyone becuase it was funny. What you have to moan about is going through this rotten illness, and the way it makes you feel. It really isn't you that feels/acts/behaves this way, it is the illness. Like a broken leg makes you sore and unable to walk. If you broke your leg, you wouldn't blame yourself for not walking and being in pain, you would know it was because of the broken leg. I know it is hard, but try and focus on that - you won't feel better for it, but you might be able to know that it's not your fault. Give the ad's a bit more time. I really wish that I could take your pain and misery away, but as I can't, just know that I understand, and we are all here for you.


Emma, it sounds wise to not struggle on. It sounds rather painful, and if it stresses you, it won't be good for baby anyway. I hope DH has some time off, and isn't dashing off anywhere in the near future. Take care!!

Love to everyone else.

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thanks Emma and Polly,

I am not throwing your support back at you and please don't think that I am I just can't beleive anything your saying right now

I don't even feel like I deserve my children. There are so many people out there, polly included who would gladly swap with me right now and I cant even apprciate that

Donna x x


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, I believe you deserve your kids. They are lucky to have you as a mum. I know that you don't believe me, but that is not you, that is what is happening to you, and soon you will know that. We are here with you until you do. Hugs.

Love 
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Guys

sorry I've been awol. Had a bit of a relapse with the sickness  

First of all  - Donna - Are you flipping kidding me?!?! I have spent many a day sat here thinking "how does Donna do it?" I have had several days sat in floods of tears because it didn't feel like I was coping and you would log on and make it sound so easy and you've got 2!!!! I take my hat off to you and then some Donna.You need to cut yourself a whole lot of slack. You are doing unbelievably well as a Mum - you just can't see it at the moment  
Is Luke home today to give you a hand? 


Emma - I echo Emma's words. Happy Mum = Happy Baby. There is no point you sat there in pain and in tears everytime young man gets hungry. Plus - DH can help with the feeds if you bottle and you can get some sleep before Will comes back.

You must be missing him something rotten right now and depserate for him to come and see his new brother, especially after hearing he's got lots of new skills. I bet it's been nice to have a day or so to settle back home with Nameless Daff

So, are we any closer to deciding on a name or is he to remain "he who cannot be named" for eternity   Come on Emma, it can't be that hard. You've only had 9 months to wrangle it out with DH  


Deedee/Polly - Morning! hope you're having a nice weekend  

Claire - Is it Egypt time already?


Right - I really need to go and clean the bathroom. I made a bit of a mess in there last night


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - how are you this morning? Did you get some sleep? Do you have anything planned for today? You will get through, and past, this, even though you can't see it right now. 

Annie - sorry to hear that the sickness is back. Perhaps you should up the prawn cocktail crisp intake? Are you drinking lots of water?

I am home alone with nameless Daffodil (keep calling him Will by mistake, or 'WillsorrynotWill' ). A name will be announced soon. We're almost agreed, but it is quite unusual and emotive, so we have to be 100% sure before telling the world (was FIL's name). Dh has gone into work to deal with an emergency so that he is back and work-free when Will returns. He is off all next week, and is being really helpful and lovely (and bought me a fabulous watch  ).


love to you all, Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Wow Emma how nice of DH to get you a present. I am glad he is off next week to.
What time is Will back? Even when littlen is named I am sure you will still call him Will and call Will Littlens name. I do it all the time to Callum and Ryan.

I am very intriged (sp) as to littlens name I can't wait to find out

Annie sorry you have been ill again was there anything that triggered it? a certain food or you not eating and blood sugars dropping? I know if I didn't eat regulary I would be sick when I was pregnant

I feel a little brighter today, I have an ann summers meeting later so that has taken my mind off things even though it will be as boring as hell! they usually are.

I felt very very low last night  and I feel very very ashamed. I tried to cut myself (DH doesn't know) All I managed was 2 little scratches and there isn't even a mark today. I fel very embarresed and pathetic that I couldn't even do it but glad in another way.
I was shaking after and couldn't stop crying (DH was alseep)
I think my firend may be pregnant she has been complaining of feeling sick and tired and that is what sparked me to do it

sorry Donna x x


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## moomin05 (Jul 13, 2005)

hi Donna

sorry for jumping in on this thread but just been reading your post about you trying to cut yourself - hun please go back and see your dr this week - preferably tomorrow - you need more help with this illness - remember i have been there, and I still do self harm occasionally, but at least now i have support from a counsellor and also a psychiatrist and also extra meds to help me through the really bad times

please go for the sake of your boys - that is how i started self harming just a scratch that would disappear and now i have some ugly scars on my hand and arm which I have to lie about when i see family and friends

always here for you hun

x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I agree - please, please, please go to your GP tomorrow. I really think you should tell dh about last night too. The more people who know and can support you the better. At the very least, please promise that you will keep telling us when you do this or think about doing this. Noone is judging you. I can't bear to think of what you are going through right now.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Dh does know now.

I am going to Dr again on Thursday so I will talk to them then.
I just feel so pathetic as the attempt to cut myself was all about attention that is so stupid, What a pathetic person I have become.

Emma how are things now Will is home? what did he make of baby bro?

Annie are you feeling any better?

Donna x x


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Donna- My heart just goes out to you at the moment. I cant imagine the anguish you must be feeling to want to physically hurt yourself. I just want to give you a huge hug and tell you it is going to be ok.

Keep talking to us but also to your DH and family that you feel you can confide in.
When negative thinking takes hold it is very powerful and the further down you become the more difficult it is to see a way out. The first thing is to decide that you want to feel better. You are in control of your moods they do not control you. Try saying that over and over to yourself, "I am in control and I want to feel better" (sounds daft but it works)

I know you wont believe me when I tell you that you are a great mum, friend and wife but it is true. Donna you deserve happiness just as much as everyone else on this planet. This will pass I promise. 

Emma- I cant believe you even have time to post! I am intrigued by the unusual name... Dont keep us in suspense. Cant wait to see a picture of Master Daff #2

Annie- Send DH out for prawn cocktail NOW! I really thought you were over the ms. Keep drinking the water and eating little and often. 

Polly- Did you have a nice time? Where were you?

I am feeling   for different reason- totally self inflicted and alcohol induced. Feel like a right slummy mummy today.

Things are not becoming any clearer in LOST


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Please tell your GP when you seem him on Thursday. He needs to know the extent of your feelings so the right help can be sent your way. Keep talking to us and DH. If you ever feel low again in the future where you want to cut yourself - text me! I'll talk to you and try and see if we can avoid things getting to that point. 

You are not pathetic hun. Just going through a very tough time right now. Depression is a very dark place and not somewhere you can come back from in a day. It takes time and support and like Deedee says, you have to feel strong enough to want to get better. Not something that happens over night. I went through depression a year after my Dad passed away and it took me a long time to get through it and a long time to decide I'd had enough and want to get through it. 

You will get there hun. Keep talking to everyone and make sure your GP gets you the help you need/deserve. I honestly think a counsellor is a must  


Emma - Also can't wait for the name announcement! Bet you're looking forward to having Will home today - enjoy  

Deedee -   at the self inflicted illness! Did you have a good night out? Where did you go?


I'm wondering if the sickness at the weekend might have been a tummy bug actually?!? I had a stomach upset too and I don't feel too bad this morning. Who knows?!? I better stay off work today just incase it was a tummy bug. Don't want to give it to the whole office.

Give me a chance to catch up with everything that has been abandoned over the last few weeks after being out of action. 

Back later x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thank you for your kind words.

Do you ever feel like there is someone watching you and they really don't like you!
Well you know my bank card was cloned, I haven't received my new one yet so still have to go into the bank to withdraw money.
I just rushed down there as boys got up later then normal (typical when I want to go out) and I need to get some shopping before meeting a friend to go to playgroup at 11.30ish. So I rushed down there and the bank is shut till further notcie because of a computer problem!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY do all these things happen to me

So now I have hardly any money and hardly any food.
I hope my card comes in todays post

Annie glad you feel better

Emma come on we are all in suspense have you named him? oh and photos please

Donna x x


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Donna-That sucks! Can you borrow some money in the meantime? I once lost my purse and after cancelling ALL my credit, debit and cash cards found it in the car  

Annie- We went to local bistro type place which serves really good food. Then boogied the night away to eighties music in the bar next door. I keep getting flashbacks of my friend on her knees playing air guitar to 'Footloose'. (It was quite a young clientele so we wanted to show them how it's done!)

Emma- Name please!!!!!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh dear Deedee, sounds like a fab night though

Just got back from playgroup, Ryan loved playing out in the garden bit they have and had a massive tantrum when it was time to go home. It is such a shame we don't have a garden becasue he would love it.

Callum is happily palying with his cars now and Ryan is having a lay down. He wants his blanket and dummy and only has them at sleep yime but when he was ill last week we let him have them as a comfort and now he has got used to it so I am trying to get him used to the idea agin that they stay in the cot. So I doubt that he will sleep its just that he wants his dummy and blanket, he will probably start moaning to get up soon then we will have a battle as he will want to bring the blanket with him.

Feeling really tired this afternoon

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna, no wonder you're pooped this afternoon. That was quite a morning you had! I can't believe your branch is shut   Have you called to chase your new card? You really shouldn't be put out like this. Might be worth a complaint e-mail if you have the energy.
Don't worry about Ryan get attached to his blanket and dummy. He'll soon remember the rules! Sounds like you had a great morning at playgroup  


Deedee   and a whole lot of envy at your night out. It's been ages since I got rat arsed and danced like a fool to 80's tunes - far too long indeed! I am going to book all my girlfriends diaries out for October (first chance I have to have a drink!) and I am going to get on down to a bit of Tiffany whilst downing a bottle of something really nasty  

Emma - I guess you're busy with both of your boys today - making a fuss of Master William. Please can we get some piccies of the nameless one?!?! 


Polly/Claire - Hi!


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Ahh Annie a girl after my own heart- the 80's were the best!

Donna- Hannah loves running round the garden too. No wonder after being cooped up all Winter in the house. Roll on Summer so we can get them out in the fresh air more.

H had the MMR on Friday and she has been fine since. We are really chuffed as the HV was ever so impressed with her speech saying she hasnt seen a child so advanced in over a year. I have to say she does a lot of chattering (probably imitating me).


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Just a quickie. I'll send some photos in due course, and a name. Dh and I haven't got round to discussing it yet. Lovely to have Will back, but odd too. He was very upset yesterday, and I felt terrible. We all spent the evening in floods of tears.  He seems much more himself today. I think it was a combination of tiredness, having a wonderful time with his cousins and missing them, and worry that he would be sent away again. I don't think the baby bothers himat all (yet) - seems quite indifferent. What I can't get over is how big he looks next to number 2. 

We all went into town this afternoon. I'd forgotten how long it takes to get ready to go out with a baby, and how much clutter you have to take. I still can't walk properly - hope that passes soon. 

Donna - sorry you had such a frustrating morning.
Don't worry about the blanket and dummy. Do whatever you have to to make life easier for you, and take each day as it comes. You could drive yourself crazy worrying about what might be in the future.

Deedee - night out sounds good!

Annie   - hope you're feeing better. Will you have a ticker soon? 

Hope everyone else is Ok. Has anyone heard from Claire?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma its funny you mention tickers yours need updating


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Deedee - Oh yes, it ain't a party without 80's cheese and without staggering home screeching "I am the One & Only"  
Bet you were very proud Mum with that comment from the HV! Maybe it's a Hannah thing? Mine doesn't stop and even chats in her sleep  

Emma - Aaah, change comes as a big shock to little ones doesn't it. Even coming home after a week away. Give him a day or two and he'll be his usual self I'm sure. Hope the walking gets easier soon. Did you have to have stitches?

I'll hold off from a ticker until I get a scan if that's o.k. Feels like I'm lying until I've seen it   Think I'm just over 8 weeks now. Man, feels like I should be at least half way already with all the puking and queeziness


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Do you have a scan date yet Annie?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No, still not heard anything yet Donna. I did however hear a rumour that our hospital is incredibly busy at the scan department at the moment and some women aren't being seen until they are 15 weeks! If I don't hear anything soon,I shall probably book a private one.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Could be worth chasing them up Annie, I didn't hear anything about mine and MW told me to phone hospiatl and when I did they hadn't got a referal for me so after getting the gp to fax it there and then and phoning the hospital back after much ranting and pleading I got a scan for that week.
I insisted upoon it becasue the Nuchal has to be done at 12 weeks and I was under the understanding it couldn't be done after that

After feeling ok yesterday I don't feel to good at all today

Donna x x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - do you have anything planned for today to get you out of the house?

Annie - are you going to have the nuchal scan? Do you have to pay for it where you are (we do here)? If so, that would kill 2 birds with one stone. I'd still chase them up though.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well, after all that this morning I've had a bit of bleeding. Got an appointment at the Early Pregnancy Unit tomorrow. I'm not too worried at the moment, same as I had with Hannah in the early days, but always best to get looked at. So, I should get a scan tomorrow.

If everything is ok then I will chase up the hospital for my 12 week scan and make sure they've got me on the list! 

We have to pay for Nuchal scans at the private hospital. Was considering paying out for one this time if the NHS has a huge backlog. Wait and see what tomorrow brings I guess.


Donna - Sorry you're having a bad start to the day. Are you meeting up with any friends or family today?

Emma - How is Will today? Settled back home again?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - try not to worry about the bleeding (easier said than done). You had quite a bit last time, didn't you. Do people at work know you are pg? How are you explaining the time off work?

I'm home with Zebedee (temporary name, but it is growing on me ). Dh has taken Will to a children's farm for the morning. He seems much his old self today, thank goodness.

I'm waiting for the mw to visit. Only one tiny tear this time, which didn't need stitches, but I do have some sort of leg problem. One leg won't work properly, and I have shooting pains in the relevant buttock. I think it is where I had an injection, and am wondering if that went into a nerve. Going to ask mw for advice.

Back later, Emma, xxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - No, I'm not too worried this time. I did have a fair amount of bleeding with Hannah so a bit more relaxed about it. Besides, I am feeling sick as a dog today so can't be that bad!
I've only told my Manager and a close friend on the team. If it looks alright tomorrow I might let them know that I haven't just had a run of bad luck with illness lately! 

  at Zebedee! quite like it myself. Maybe you could consider it?

Sounds like you're in quite a bit of pain and discomfort Emma. Ouch! Hope the MW can offer some help with it today


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie sorry you have had some bleeding you sound relaxed about it which is good. I hope everything is ok tomorrow.

Emma you sound very uncomfortable I hope MW  can shed some light on it

I am at SIL today as there is no playgroup due to half term, not sure it if it is helping or not really. She is younger than me and as some frineds over which are also younger - if you get what I mean

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna -Get what you mean entirely. Oh well, still company and a chance to get out of the house for a bit. I'm sure in small doses it's bearable.

Anything going on tomorrow?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Had one of the 'chocolate teapot' locum midwives come round, not my usual one. She had no idea and said I'd be fine in a day or two.   

Annie - hope all goes well tomorrow. Hope you get a scan and a picture.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hope all is well tommorrow Annie, when is your appointment?

Emma how are you 2 little men?

Where is Claire? Eqypt?

Hiya Deedee


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning

Appointment is at 9:20am. I don't think they give out pictures in our Early Pregnancy Unit. They didn't give me one when I went there with Hannah. Still feeling rather green this morning,which is often a good sign. I don't know how Deedee did it - it's the most miserable feeling in the world    Everyday I wake up hoping I'm through it - but alas not today!

Be back as soon as I can.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie hope all goes well I will log on when we get back from music.
I hope the sickness passes soon, Iremember when I was at work having to leave a an activity or circle time to go and be sick - wasn't nice

Emma any closer to a name? How us Will taking to him?

Polly Thanks for talking to my DH last night. I didn't even now he was talking to you 

Feeling tired this morning as always and I can't wait for music to be over. I feel horrible putting that becasue the boys do enjoy it but the are such a handful now and so active it is hard work, especailly at the end of the class when we are getting our shoes and coats on I always have 1 child that is trying to get out of the door with the other parents while I am putting the others shoes on and by the time I have stopped whoever it is getting out of the door the other 1 has gone off somewhere when I get back - nightmare.

I am looking forward to them both going to sleep after lunch so I can have a little lay down to

Morning Claire and Deedee

Donna x x


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Annie- Hope everything goes ok  Sickness is a good sign (ironically!)

Donna- Polly and your DH having a chat?- Im intrigued....

Emma- How are you feeling?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi!

All seems fine  

It wasn't the greatest of scans. All the trapped wind in me was causing my bowel to be in the way, but with some pressure on my tummy we managed to find a sac with a flickering heartbeat in there - just about.

I'm measuring exactly 8 weeks today, so due date is 1st October.

He did also find a rather large cyst on my right ovary. They want to keep an eye on it and if it has grown again by the next scan it might have to be operated on at 16 weeks! - eek!

Then he informed me that I have a tilted womb!!! - that's news to me?!?

Anyway - just got to sit and wait for the next scan date to come through and see what that shows. He's sent a note to them to make sure they check the size of the cyst.

If I get any more bleeding or abdominal pains I have to call them.


Donna - Hope you have a good session at music today.

Emma - Hope all is well with the boys

Deedee - Love to you and Hannah x

Claire/Polly - Hi!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

Annie - glad the scan went well. Don't worry about the tilted womb thing - I have one too. I was told that it doesn't make any difference to anything that matters, but just makes scan pictures more tricky.
Did you have a cyst last time, or did I imagine that?

Donna - how was music?

I feel really, really tired and hormonal today. Think it is all catching up with me. Dh is going to take Will swimming, so I'll try and snooze then.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternoon,

Annie glad all was ok, I hope the cyst sorts itself by next scan.

Emma its quite understandable for you to feel like that rest and look after yourself you and your body have done alot in the last week ((hugs))

Deedee I was crashed out on the soaf attempting to watch tv and DH was on the computer I didn't know what he was doing but he was on there for longer than normal so I asked what he was doing and he said talking to 1 of my friends on Yahoo. He didn't even know who he was talking to at first becasue he gets confussed with who is who. I think it helped him though

Music was manageable so mayne the tablets are working

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I think Polly missed her calling in life! Could have done a bit of counselling/life coaching me thinks!

Emma - These first few weeks are such a rollercoaster. Put your feet up when DH and Will go out and have a little cuddle with Zebedee. Remember - it does get better  

Donna - Yeah! glad music went ok today.


I've managed to get an appointment with my accupuncturist tomorrow afetrnoon. Going to see if she can get the morning sickness under control. God, I hope so.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Yea 100% Polly is so good at it, she always says the right thing even if you don't want to hear it. she makes you admit things to yourself.

Annie I hope the accupuncture works I didn't think of that. Its funny though casue in a strange way I really envy you right now.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Just watched this clip and it made me cry (as it always does) I watched it alot when ttc and sent it to some friends to try and help them understand.

Why I was just watching it I sat there thinking WHY? Why me? Why did I have to go through all that? I know I was one of the lucky ones in that it did work for us in the end but I now realise that maybe I still habe hang ups about needing tx and worry that the boys could be my only children and I am not sure how I would handle not being pregnant again.
Sorry Claire and Polly I know I must sound very insensitive and selfish as I know I am very lucky to have the boys and I know I should feel content with what I have, so why can't I be?

I think I am still bitter about the whole IUI and that no one understands what I went through. sorry I probably waffling now and not making much sense as usual. Just feel I have sepnt yeasr of my life without anyone really understanding what I am going through and I am still in that place


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna - well done, you may have hit the nail on the head there. I don't think you sound insensitive or selfish at all, and I can understand your anxieties. But I think that having identified your feelings about it, it would be a good idea to see if your gp can refer you for counselling. Or if the clinic that you went to - they offer counselling too, don't they? Go back to them PLEASE! 

I'm   at all your compliments - I wasn't sure if I should be talking to Donna's DH, but somehow we did  . He seems so nice!

Emma, I love Zebedee - how did you come up with that as a nickname?? And are we ever going to know the real name. Or is that it, and you are breaking us in gently? How is he? How are you? How is it all going, are we going to see a pic?

Deedee, Annie, Claire, Hi: sorry I can't stop for more, got millions of stuff to do. 

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly, My jaw probably hit the floor when I asked DH what he was doing and he said talking to you. It isn't something he would normally do, he is quite shy really until you get to know him then he is anything but. I think he just needed to talk to someone and I am glad tou were there. Makes us even now after my chats with your DH

I am going to discuss different anti d's and councelling with gp tomorrow - promise

Donna x x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Well done you   Identifying what might be the root cause is a giant step towards feeling better, and not only realising it - but sharing it with us too. Did it make you feel like a bit of weight off your mind for saying it out loud? 
Now you've got this far, I am sure a good Counsellor and/or Polly can help you keep on that train of thought and help you see that you what you went through last year was a big deal and that just because you were blessed with the boys at the end of it, does not mean you can't resent that you had to do IUI to have them.
And I can understand your feelings about the possibility of not being able to experience it again. Do you think there's some element that you need to prove to yourself that you can do it again, that it wasn't just a fluke the first time? -  I think I felt a little bit like that   It was a strange...fear, maybe is the word? I dunno - I'm blabbing now  

Best if lcuk with your GP tomorrow. I really hope he/she understands and gets you in touch with the right people. I think contacting the clinic where you had your treatment is another fab Polly idea!


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## deedee2 (Dec 9, 2005)

Donna- Identifying and understanding WHY you feel the way you do is the first  and hardest step. Well done!!! Many people dont get to work out why they feel low. Now you know why, you can make steps towards changing how you think about it and dealing with those feelings and anxieties so they aren't anything to fear or be ashamed of.

Annie- Omigod a cyst!!! Has it always been there? Is it wise to operate while you are pg?
Bambino and Hannah 2 might share the same birthday, she was born on 8th 

Polly- I think you would make a fab life coach


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

I am not sure that the tx and stuff is the root casue but it is definatly a contributing factor. But irronically I think the depression is casuing depression if that is possible. Becasue I have the whole why me feeling and thinking that after all we went through I am now stuck feeling like this its just one thing after another.
Also I feel anxious about ttc again which is contributing but then because of how I feel we can't ttc so again I am on a viscious circle.

Why can't my life just be simple, I don't think I ask for much just a happy life but all I ever seem to be doing is fighting and I just can't

Donna x x


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## jjb (Feb 9, 2008)

Hello people

Just thought I would pop in and say hello as I have not posted for a while. 

Sorry to hear you not feeling great Donna, its horrible when you feel down its really hard to pick yourself back up again.

Emma I think Zebedee is the cutest name -  keep it! 

Have any of you here conceived using syringe? Got a week left of the 2ww but don't think it has worked again this month. Bought some super long syringes now so that might strengthen our chances for trying next month. If I not pregnant by May then I will go to doctor I think but want to exhaust all avenues first! 

How are everyone else? Getting closer to the weekend now - this week has flown by!

Jen


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## Ajax (Oct 1, 2004)

New home this way---------------->

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=130086.0


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