# Separation Anxiety



## jrhh (Feb 6, 2006)

Hi Ladies,


I need some advice.....


We have had ds2 now since Aug last year and he has been doing really well. Still some settling with dh but slowly getting there. We all went away for a few wks hol and since we have got back he seems to have changed character. He is disruptive, refusing affection from dh and ds1 and is showing separation anxiety with me. I left him earlier in the wk with my parents (normally fine) and he was hysterical, trying to get out of the door, screaming, refusing comfort, food or reassurance and he even did it at home when I popped out for 10 mins and left him with dh. I start work again next month so am worrying how he will cope. I have tried reassurance and lots of cuddles and talks to reward charts and nothing is working. He is frantic when I leave and stands at the door screaming till I get back.
Is this just a normal phase for a two and a half year old as I know they can be very "mummy attached"  and I'm overanalysing it? has the hols and change of routine upset him more than we realised or do we have a problem?
Any advice or experience of this would be most grateful. I got my parents to come here today for a quick visit and he made no eye contact etc with them and cried when I asked him to say goodbye to them.   


Thanks for reading


Jacks x


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## jitterbug (Nov 22, 2006)

Hi Jacks 
My little girl came home at a similar time as your son and she is just 3. 
She started pre-school in Feb and was absolutely fine and took to it like a duck to water. However on Tuesday the teacher told me she'd been super-clingy, not playing with her friends and said she was missing mummy. She's been really clingy with me too - I am already back at work and she's been alternately clingy and blanking me.
I blame the change in routine (Easter hols are a long time when you're just a toddler) and I think it's a typical developmental stage (according to my SIL and friends at work). However, I think there may be the doubts in their minds that oh no what's happening now... I thought I was safe in my routine and now it's changed, what does this mean...? And they can't verbalise it and don't understand that that's what they're thinking even, so they play up.
I think lots of reassurance and cuddles and low key activities you can do together when you get back, reading, watching a dvd, doing a puzzle. I also found that I sprayed my perfume on a little scarf of mine and gave it to my daughter to "look after" while I was out and she felt so proud of her 'job' and that she had something of mummy'sand it really helped her.
I am sure someone else will be along with more suggestions but hope that helps a little.
xx


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

My DD has been clingy since she turned 1 and screamed whenever I left the room and will still scream if left with Dh and won't accept him in the night etc. yet...she went and goes to 'school' fine and loves it. Just wanted to say that he may not necessarily find 'school' hard. I hope this is the case, but realise that his attachment issues come under very different circumstances to my DD. I hope it is temporary hun ((())) It's so hard when you can't even nip to the loo without someone clinging to your leg ((()))

Kay xxx


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## jrhh (Feb 6, 2006)

Thanks ladies for the advice. Will def try the suggestions and try to relax myself and not worry. Fingers crossed it settles as quickly as it started


xx


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