# I do not know what to do



## MissMB (Nov 2, 2016)

My partner (34) and I (42) have been trying for the last 2 years to get pregnant with no luck. 

After seeking assistance with IVF, its been revealed I have a low AMH egg reserve and with "flare up" drugs treatment the best number of eggs they hope to retrieve is 5 and dependent on the quality, I would still only have a 7% success rate.  
This doesn't include the fact i am higher risk of miscarriage.

My partner and I struggle to discuss this as it make us both so upset.  Me emational, him angry.  Upset that I am upset.
I feel utterly useless as a woman - he could have children with a younger woman.

I feel angry that my life never presented the relationship/opportunity to have a fanily until now.

We have agreed to try at least maybe once - why not?
But I am scared because I have suffered on and off with anxiety and depression most of life.  2 years ago my father passed away and i've struggled greatly with my mental health again.  Trying for a baby, the disappointments, the stress of now, is not helping either.

The drug treatments required in a Flare up protocol are harsh - I am worried how this will affect me?
Again this has  made me feel useless - i am not strong enough, I am weak.

Also the disappointment in his parents, grandparents, my mothers faces when we explained our news - i'm letting everyone down.

I just don't know what to do.


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## morganna (Sep 16, 2008)

Hi Miss MB
I was sorry to read your sad post.
Its neither one of your fault that you have not been able to get pregnant yet.
Will you both consider Donor eggs?
I think it would be very beneficial for you or both of you to have some counselling.
I hope you both get your baby!!


love,


Morganna xx


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## miamiamo (Aug 9, 2015)

Hi, I am sorry to know your story. Have you thought on seeing a therapist, especially one who has experience in emotional aspects of infertility and its treatment. Good luck on yr journey


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## Kaz1980 (Jan 9, 2012)

Hi MissMB 
I'm so sorry for how you're feeling. I completely empathise as I was feeling the same not so long ago. I am only 36 now and after 5 own egg ivf cycles (only ever getting a max of 5 eggs and 1 embryo each cycle) I was told my chance of success was about 1%. I was 33 at the time they said that. I felt a failure too for much the same reasons you describe.

I started seeing a CBT therapist due to my anxiety and I would certainly recommend it.

We made the decision  to move to donor eggs as it was important for us that I carried our baby and for us having a genetic link isn't important. I was also so tired of all the failures with my own eggs. Each one destroyed a little bit more of me. It wasn't an easy decision though and it has to be right for you.

There are options out there so please don't give up hope. You are certainly not a failure. X


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## MissMB (Nov 2, 2016)

Thank you for your replies!

I can tell you the relief just to feel listened too and it no result in an argument.

I think getting some counselling generally will help and i've self referred back to my doctors.

I think also I need to go back to teh clinic who did my screening and discuss the options in more depth.
I just never expected that we would have this problem. 

Thank you everyone. x


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Mild ivf/clomid banking may be better option than medicated ivf, serum & create are good clinics to check results for live birth rates for this x


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