# advice please



## Guest (Aug 20, 2006)

Ive so we cannot afford ivf, ive tried to move on but i can't. so i was checking this egg sharing business out. my hospital does Ive 60% cheaper if you eggshare.
i didn't think i would ever be able to do it, the thought of it failing then loOKing at other babies and thinking 'could that be one of mine' (although i know really any baby born by the use of my eggs wouldn't be 'mine')
but Ive been looking at the pleads of other people asking for donors and it really hit home, if mine didn't work at least i would have tried, and if the other persons worked then i would be so happy of the thought Ive helped then lift the pain of not being able to get pregnant.
it won't be for a while yet as we still need to try and get the money together for our ivf, but i would be really grateful if anyone could tell me about their experiences, mentally and emotionally.

love to you all, maz xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## MrsRedcap (Jan 6, 2006)

I'm only starting to begin my journey. At the moment I'm feeling nervous, anxious, but excited with it. 

Love

Vicki x


----------



## Mrs_H (Jan 29, 2006)

Hi Maz, 

Have you had a look at some of the other clinics that offer IVF as some you only pay for the blood test and and few other things, also if you would like to learn more about the process please feel free to read the egg share basic at the top of the eggshare thread, this will give you an idea what its like, 

Like Vicki i am just starting my eggshare treatment well in 9 days have been waiting since May so it's very exciting, 

Sorry to ask this but you said you had damaged ovaries , most clinics that eggshare like you to have both ovaries working and fully functioning, i'm sure your be ok but wanted to mention this, 

Ps what a lovely photo of you son .... xxx

Sara


----------



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hey Maz sweetheart, hope you are ok!

Just wanted to say, and I don't know if this helps any, but I am an egg recipient. I want to say that without these lovely ladies taking part in egg sharing schemes women like me would never get the chance to hold their own babies. I am so very grateful that I have had the opportunity to try through the kindness of ladies that egg share.

As for any resulting pregnancy - my cousin was a known donor for me on my first attempt (sadly BFN) - but this is what she said to me when I asked her if she would ever view my baby as her own if I got a BFP.

_"Tracy, if you get pregnant the baby will be YOUR baby, not mine. I have a period every month and every month I flush the egg down the toilet. I am in fact giving you a period! Your body will carry the baby, your placenta will feed the baby, it is your body that will feed the baby and keep it safe and warm and nuture it inside your womb. Your body will then give birth to the baby, and without your partner's sperm there would be no baby! There may be a couple of genes in there that are mine, but ultimately the baby is yours and I could never ever think of it as mine when all I am giving you is an egg. Without you there would be no life"_

Just wanted to try to give you an opinion from the other side of the egg sharing business sweetheart. We are so very grateful to ladies that egg share.

Lots of love
Tracy
xx


----------



## Guest (Aug 21, 2006)

thanks to you all, i really want to do this but im worried i'll get turned down, as sara said, they like both ovaries working. im sure one of mine was cleared of adhesions during my operation and it is just one of them that isn't any good, do you think i could do it with one ovary?
love maz xxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## mistyeeyore (Feb 22, 2006)

Maz - Hope you dont mind me putting my two-penny's worth in.  I have done IVF with egg share for the first time, had two lovely Blasts transferred and test on Wednesday (23/08/06).

At the beginning, when I first started to have tests done, the Doctors wrongly diagnosed me as going throught the early menopaus (at 25).  I researched the possibility of receiving donor eggs and found that there was an average waiting list of 3 years and said there and then that if by some miracle the diagnosis was wrong, then one day I would donate some eggs!

Luckily for me the diagnosis was wrong, and we have "unexplained sub-fertility", however after 3 years still did not conceive after trying every possible alternative therapy.

So we decided to do IVF with egg share - I agree that it is strange to think that it may not work for us and yet the person I donate to may continue to have a baby with the egg I donate.  But at least I can try again and again, if necessary.  Also remember that you can only have 2 embies / blasts transferred.  Depending on how many eggs you produce, that means that there are usually eggs going to waste that you can not use, unless you can afford to freeze them all.

Its strangely comforting to know that I may have been able to help another person, regardless of the outcome for us.

Also remember that it is only a cell that you are donating, think of it like donating blood!  The egg does not become an embryo until it is fertilised by the recipient couple's (or a donor's) sperm and is then it is their embryo - it develops inside the recipient's body.  Lots of people donate blood to save anothers life, you would just be donating a cell to help create a life for another couple.

By the way, clinic I'm with only charge the HFEA fee (£103) to egg sharers, but you do have to have at least 8 eggs collected, which is a bit nerve racking.

I hope this is of some help and wish you lots of luck and baby dust.

Love
Angie.


----------



## *kateag* (Jun 20, 2006)

Hi hun, 

Like you, when I first thought about egg share I was worried how I would handle the fact that someone might have "my" baby. But after a bit of thought, I realised it would never be my baby. If I was to go through IVF without egg share, I would produce the same amount of eggs but would only use 2, which would mean that all the others would just be disposed of. 
They arent babies without the partners sperm, and they arent born without the other lady. 

Someone advised me to think of it this way, would I accept a donor egg if I needed one to concieve, and the answer for me would be yes, because I would give birth to that baby, feel its movements, love it with all my heart, so for me, it helped as I know that is how the lady who recieved my eggs will feel. 

It is a hard decision, especially when you are faced with the fact that maybe its the only way you can afford it, but give yourself some time. Think about it and only decide when you are happy to.

Good luck hun.
xxx


----------



## Guest (Aug 21, 2006)

well after talkin to kelly (thanks again kel  ) me n hubby have decided we really want to do egg sharin, so i rang my consultant from the hospital i had all my last treatment to find out if my ovary will be ok for egg share. finally got a call back after 3 hours to tell me, sorry cant find your notes!!!!!, so now i've got to wait til tomorrow for another call back to let me know if my ovary is healthy enough for egg sharing.
grrrrrrrrr im about ready to pull my hair out.
i'll post again when they get in touch with me, thank you everyone for your kind words, and   to you all, love maz xxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------

