# Getting Scared the closer it gets



## karen2 (Apr 22, 2003)

Hiya

I am ready and waiting for my donor eggs and am getting scared and stressed now.
The lovely lady is an altrustic unknown donor (what a lady!), and the nurses have commented at the beginning of treatment that she is a good'en! (I think she has had 2 children via IVF and donated once already which resulted in a BFP (reading between the lines). I had my lining scan on Friday which is 13mm - really happy with that - things have gone great so far for me - ie Down Regged fine, and lining is thickened ready - so hence I think that something is going to go wrong. I am recipient no. 2 also, which means if the lady produces 13 eggs I get 6, the other lady gets 7. There has to be a min of 8 in total - so 4 each. Worry no.1 - I am fretting that she may - not produce enough to share between two - also, what if we only get 4 (ec is on Fri please god) - it will be a 3dt - So Monday for me - and I am thinking the worse that if we only get 4 eggs, and say 2 fert - will they make it thru till Monday..... I always think the worse. She may on the other hand produce 20 eggs - who knows? 

The only thing that is making me think to the contrary is that when I went for lining scan on Fri the nurse said my lady had been in that morning on day 6 of her stimms scan (so only 5 injections) and she had "some" follies - she will be scanned again Monday. I then had a phone call today to say they "think" EC is Friday.  I Suppose I wanted to hear the words " your lady has lots and lots of follies "  - prob they arent allowed to say...arrrhhhh

I am waffling now, and as usual over analysing EVERYTHING. 

Also totalling fed up of these drugs - never felt this bad before on them.

Good luck to everyone.

Anyone else got any positive stories to lift my spiritis?

Kazx


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## HelenJ (Jun 8, 2007)

Hi Kaz

Have just come across your thread as I search the website to keep my mind off my tww!  I had et last week from a donor in Spain;  she produced 8 eggs and 4 fertilzed into top class embies, so we were really pleased as it meant we could pop 2 in and also have a couple of frosties which makes us feel better in case the first treatment fails.

The thing is with all of this treatment, it is a series of hurdles, and you manage to jump one and then there is another one right in front of you;  but every hurdle is important at the time.  Even when you get the BFP it is not going to be plain sailing but it surely must be at least character building!!!

Anyway, what I am trying to say (even though I am checking my knickers for AF every 5 minutes), try not to stress, as you will find yourself stressing for 9 months (hopefully)  ;  it will be fine with your donor, remember it only takes one embryo!

let me know when your ET is and how you get on.

Helenx

PS sorry if I haven't lifted your spirits but it does help to talk to someone who knows what you are going through!


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## karen2 (Apr 22, 2003)

Arrrh. many thanks for taking the time to reply to me Helen. I hoping you get your deserving BFP.
I called the clinic today and tried to squeeze some info from the nurse - my donor is still stimming at the mo. EC is Monday now (not tomorrow) so ET (Please god!!) is weds next week. I asked whether the extra stimming days was due to the size or quantity of follies and she said size!!! Phew! They just need plumping up a little bit more ! So i am feeling a lot happier now. (ie not worrying about the 3dt and whether there will be enough for two to share). Cant wait till Monday. You are right tho, need to take a chill pill !!!! Todays fretting is.... what will the baby look like?!??!?!?!? I need to stay off these sites - feeds me with too much information haaaa

GOOD LUCK HELEN
Catch up laters
Karenx


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## HelenJ (Jun 8, 2007)

Hi Kaz

I think you are right, sometimes these sites may feed the frenzy;  I was on one today where a girl got BFP and although I was really pleased for her my heart sank in a way as I just don't feel like it is going to happen to me.  I have no pregnancy symptoms and it is driving me mad!  I know that is selfish, but I would just like a bit of good news at the moment, having had several problems over the last couple of years, could do with some good luck.  

But taking a chill pill is a good idea;  going to see some family this weekend who don't know about it, so will have to forget about the whole thing for a day or two!  good luck for Monday!

Hx


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## barbaramary (Jan 30, 2006)

Hi Kaz

I'm with you here I'm waiting for the call from Barcelona - we only get 24-48 hours notice of egg collection. Hope everything goes well for you on Monday. I think somehow this wait is as bad as the 2ww as apart from the lining you have no control at all over what happens or any knowledge how your donor is doing. One thing I was told though is that they try not to overstimulate so the eggs are better quality - that's why they only guarantee you 4. Have you read this thread about epigenetics and how your genes also determine what the baby will look like?

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=79093.0

Keep the faith and let us know how you get on 

Helen - good luck on your 2ww  I'm a baddy on mine and test early virtually daily!!


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## karen2 (Apr 22, 2003)

Hiya Helen

Just to keep you upto date my cycle was abandoned today - my donors eggs/follies had got smaller and her lining thinner so something was going wrong - I am really upset (kept balling at work today) but more upset for that lovely lady.(altruistic)

Dont know whether I can go thru this again - the drugs really affected me this time (side effects from superfract) - I know its not much to go thru if we get a little bundle at the end - probably I will feel better in a couple months or so. I am still at the top of the list - so who knows. Booking a holiday to majorca now.

GOOD LUCK to you - I hope you are successfull.. Keep me informed.

Karenxx


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## HelenJ (Jun 8, 2007)

Hi Karen

Very sorry to hear your news;  do you still have to pay even though you have no eggs from the Donor?  I don't know whether you have thought of this but maybe you should consider going abroad, they are very good where I went in Barcelona and discuss all issues with drugs etc, so if you are having problems with particular treatments I'm sure they could help you, and it would be much quicker finding another donor;  at Barcelona they have a back up donor in case just this sort of thing happens and they guarantee the number of eggs you will get.  Of course I have no idea of the cost of the treatment in the UK so going abroad maybe prohibitive for you.

Please don't give up though as there are loads of different drugs out there that could be tried 

Helenx


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## shellspain (Oct 29, 2007)

Karen,
I just wanted to send you a great big  

I know it seems impossible right now but try and stay as positive as you can. Hope you booked yourself a nice holiday to look forward to and to give you time to switch off from the nightmare of TTC/IVF etc.

You will get your dream one day


xxxx


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## karen2 (Apr 22, 2003)

Thanks girls.

I am at a Care clinic and no I dont get charged a penny for this mis-hap.
(cycle with ICSI cost £5,500 incl drugs ...ouch).

I asked the donor coordinator would it be about 3 months till next matched and she said no, sooner than that!!!!!  Suppose once the horrid drugs are out of my system i will be starting on em again!!!

Feeling a lot better today - although woke up with conjunctivitis ! red as you like and stinging/itchy/gunky doh! So probably best that it got cancelled as the antiboitics cant be taken if trying to get pregnant!!!!!! 

PMA alert PMA alert : Did anyone see today's SUN - Status Quo blokey now father of IVF twins - his wife is 47. Go girl..!


GOOD LUCK
Karen


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