# hate feeling like this



## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hi All , 

I'm really struggling today ladies and I'm sick of feeling so down all the time , it is now only 3 weeks until my SIL gives birth and everyone is getting excited and thats all that is being spoke about and i feel so resentfull that they didn't even have to try and i know its so selfish but i feel like no one understands , my brother and his girlfriend are pregnant as well 9 weeks along they are very very UN ready for a baby no where to live (both with parent) been together only 5 months loads of dept etc etc me and DH have worked so hard got married brought a house stable income and nothing whats the point of having all that if no children to share it with   I find myself keep buying baby clothes for  both the babies due and it makes me even more upset but i feel like i have to have a brave face on things all the time and its starting to crack    I don't know how to deal with this anymore i love my family more than anything but now both sides of the family have the first grandchildren on the way people don't seem to care how i feel . I sound so selfish why cant i just be happy for them  
How do u ladies cope with these things 
sorry about the long and moaning post i just feel like I'm at my wits end now  
Julie x


----------



## penang (Jan 10, 2007)

Hi Julie 

Dont get yourself worked up about it.

You havent said if your familys know what you are going through?

Some people it helps to buy for other peoples babys but for some it dosent - if its not helping you dont buy anything where you have to go into a shop, shop online. (whenever i go into a baby store i think someone is going to tap me on the shoulder and say i have to leave as im not having a baby)

One of my best friends is pregnant but she has been very understanding and always saying sorry.

When your special person comes along it will be more special than the other babys in the family - especially if the rest of the family know what you going through.

Keep us advised on how you are feeling and dont forget to stay positive.

love 

ali


----------



## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

thanks ali , yeah my family know what im going though but they think im handling it as im always such a strong person but this it really getting e down i know i need to stay positive  just hard sometimes 
Thanks again for the reply 

Julie xx


----------



## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi Julie

Just read your thread, after the pressed thing  

I know exactly how you feel flower   I get the same way. all my mates have little ones , my brother and his wofe are due 2 ave their 4th child in 2 wks!! He thinks that we aren't 'doing it right!'. he hasn't got a clue  

He pops them out like toast!! (or rather the wife does!!) I'm also godmother too 4 kids, which is an honour but, I WANT MY OWN!!!   

I always try 2 be   when i hear of my mates   but i'm always a little   2.

But, you've got 2 try and chill about it, i've come 2 terms with it cos i knew from early on that i'd have a struggle 2 get there, but 1 thing i have learnt is that the more you stress, the worse everything seems. Try you very best 2 stay     , and you'll get there in the end pet.

LOL Lily xxx


----------



## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi me again  

Gawd, few spelling errors on that lst 1!!!    Ha

XXX


----------



## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Julie .. I know it might not feel like it but you have time on your side hun and it will happen for you .. you need to believe that ..it is difficult for people to understand what you are going through ..as all they can see is that you have plenty of time ahead of you .. but we all know how difficult it is....and if you ever need support you will get it here ..but you have to try and be strong and relax..the more relaxed you are the more likely it is to happen.

I know what it is like buying baby clothes.. When I first found out that I had PCOS ..they more or less told me it was over as far as having kids was concerned .. It really hit me hard (and of course things have moved on now and there is so much more that can be done when you have pcos) I went through a period of buying baby clothes..it started off because a friend was expecting but then I would keep them ..and each time I would get home with them and would look at them and cry and then hide them away .. I must have had £100's worth of baby stuff .. but when I worked through the pain with my DP we got rid of it together ..to another very lucky friend who was expecting. 

We deal with stress/grief in different ways ..when going through treatment you need to try and keep your stress levels down ..treat yourself as a Queen and pamper yourself ..when the babies arrive treasure them ..they are all a wonderful gifts and all special no matter how much it might hurt us that they are not ours..you will be a wonderful Aunt because of the love that you have inside you..it will be you one day...there is so much now that can be done and with your age on your side you have really really good chances of getting your dream.. 

Sending you lots of   and         to help you stay positive and some      
Cat x


----------



## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Julie

Gonna pop off 2 bed now, DH needs a  

So I'll say goodnite and have a fab wkend, enjoy yourself, and stay   and think stress free, stress free!!!      
If ya need anything, I'm here flower

Lilyflower xxx


----------



## susamwalker2002 (Nov 27, 2006)

Julie,

   

Take Care,

Susan xxx


----------



## vicster (Dec 16, 2006)

Hi Julie,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down.   

Remember it is totally normal to feel like you do -  as well as feeling happy and excited, we're bound to feel jealous  when people have babies so easily when it is so difficult for us - it's a human reaction which some people like to deny and cover up.  

I've tried to be really open with my friends so that they understand what it is like for me but unfortunately some people can't be bothered to understand and are tactless. I don't know what it's like to have siblings pop babies out, but I do have a very close friend who I've known since I was 2, get pregnant around the same time as me last year (she after a couple of months, me after 1.5 years), and then I miscarried so it was very painful.  One of the real downers to having baby making problems is that you also can't enjoy others pregnanices as much as you'd like.  Anyway, I've been open with her about how painful it is for me and things haven't been too bad because I love her heaps.  It has been difficult for her too and we've coped by being open about our feelings and not putting pressure on myself to see her loads which she has been fine about.

Anyway, hope you are feeling a bit better.  You sound like a really strong person who has lots of support around her, so you'll get through this I'm sure!!!

Sending you lots of    and


----------



## Viking Girl (Aug 20, 2006)

Julie,

I totally know how you feel as both my sisters in law have had babies in the last 6 months meaning that both my parents and parents in law have just had their first grandchildren. Me and DH are the eldest children in our respective families and I really feel that it should have been us producing the first grandkids.

All the way through DH's sisters preganacy, I felt terrible as they only live a few miles away, as do DH parents, so I felt it was rammed down my throat with no thought for my feelings and it broke my heart to see my DH holding the new baby in the hospital when he was born, but the feeling does go away. I find it is harder to deal with pregnant ladies than babies....

All I can say is try and be happy for them and think positive - you WILL get through it and come out the other side stronger. I never thought I would, but I did and am stronger for it.

Here for you anytime you want to chat... just drop me a PM.

Karen x


----------



## rizzo (Dec 7, 2006)

Chin up, Julie!

We all know how crap it feels and no-one can help or make us feel any better because most people don't understand. They think they do, but they don't. People who tell you to relax and stop worrying (like my dad-duh!) or people who think they can empathise with you because they've been trying for a few months. You feel like it's always everyone else's turn but never yours. I actually have a list of friends who I expect to get pregnant before me - I wrote it last weekend and this week I've had to cross two off the list already!!!!

We really hope it will happen for us but the trouble is, you just don't know and that's what maks it hard. You can't put it to bed. 

Hope you're feeling better today and a bit more positive. Sending you


----------



## scousemouse (Feb 15, 2007)

We all feel the same way at some stage hun.

Since we started ttc I've had to watch my sis have 2 (was even at the birth of the first), my bro have 2, and my cousins have 8 between 3 of them!  

I console myself with the fact that I have children in my life even if they are not my own!  I get to do all the great stuff with them with none of the hardwork!  

It doesn't get any easier but over the years I've managed to get by one day at a time.

be kind to yourself, you have a right to feel the way you do.

Really hope your feeling better soon!
scousemosue
x


----------



## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hi All 

Thnaks for the lovely replies!!!!   i know your all right and i need to stay positve   and your also right about enjoying the children when they are born aswel. 
just need to kepp hoping that on day it will be my day aswell  and of course all of yours too. Have told DH i need a holiday lol so going to go shopping for one asap yay !! any excuse for a holiday i say 

Hope you have all had a good weekend
Thanks again 

Julie xxx


----------



## sarahstewart (Aug 4, 2005)

Julie - just wanted to send you a hug  stay strong hun.....


----------



## Lolly2 (Oct 5, 2006)

hi julie, i know exactly how u feel and u are not selfish u are just human like the rest of us. my dp's mate's girlfriends just had her second baby and she is 19, it is all he has talked about for weeks and i had to tell him to shut up in the end. i also found out the other day that she is not sure for definate whether dp's mate is the father of the first child and I actually had to stop myself broadcasting this to dp. i would have felt better at the time (she is a little slapper) but i could have ruined peoples lives . we just have to remember that this stuff makes us emotionally stronger than most people, which means when we evntually have our own bubs then we all make perfect parents 

Just need to add that the opinions expressed on this thread are personal opinions and not ff opinions 
sorry boring i know but just have to say it


----------



## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Julie .. have a great holiday .. a lot of people conceive on holiday as they are relaxed ..so have a great time ! 
Cat x


----------

