# Starting ICSI soon.....



## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hi, I'm new to fertility friends. I signed up in April when it became clear that assisted fertility would be our only chance of having a baby but didn't post anything as was a bit overwhelmed. We had IUI in July but it failed and since then I have found out that that was probably due to me having natural killer cells. We are starting ICSI in a week or so and decided to go private even though we have one NHS shot at it in January. We chose to go private first as felt we were running out of time. I have low AMH and my hubby has low sperm count. Don't know how to feel about all of this. Have been feeling very low for months now but over last few days have had moments of excitement. Not sure if this is setting myself up for disappointment...Anyone else starting ivf or icsi soon? Hope to chat soon and good luck to all those of you already on your journey


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## Daisy32 (Aug 5, 2013)

Dear Tone, 
It's normal to feel overwhelmed, the other day when my protocol was finalised I could hardly remember my own name! That's great news that you are starting soon. I'm starting my ICSI late October also privately funded. I'm also feeling quite excited. Reading the posts here, a lot of people feel the same way and I think it's good to try and remain positive. Hope all goes well for your up coming cycle.
Take care, Daisy xxx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Tone!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

Most people who have treatment refer to the rollercoaster of emotions, and that is exactly what it is like, one day you are up and all positive, and the next you are negative. You just have to try to hold onto your sanity as best you can! I found keeping busy on hobbies helped, stopped me dwelling on everything.

Here are a few links that I think might help you.

Investigations & Immunology ~ CLICK HERE That section deals with killer cells.

ICSI chat ~ CLICK HERE

Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE

Cycle Buddies (undergoing treatment at the same time) - CLICK HERE

Male factors ~ CLICK HERE

Coping With Infertility ~ CLICK HERE

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Chat Zone section which will give you info on upcoming chats in the chat room: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck!            

Sue


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## hopeful76 (Sep 11, 2013)

Hi there, let's keep in touch - I'm starting ICSI in a week - privately as well.


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Oh wow I'm feeling a bit stupid as have only just found theses replies duh! Not even sure if I'm replying correctly even now lol! Thank you all so much for your replies and I'm so sorry I took so long....
How is everyone doing? I started clexane and menopur jabs on Weds and prednisolone and asprin tabs. I felt ok at first - bit wired from the steroids but no mega tiredness. Then yesterday I had a mini melt down when I thought I'd been injecting the clexane wrong! I feel rubbish today - bunged up, bloated, hungry but don't want to eat....supposed to be going out for dinner and bought a new slim line dress to make me feel nice but now not sure if I can squeeze my stomach into it! Anyone else had these symptoms? Hope you are all well and look forward to hearing from you


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Sue, will start ploughing my way through all that great info you sent me - am touched you took the time and effort - thank you so much!
Daisy, thanks for your well wishes!
Hopeful 76, look forward to buddying up over the next month - it's lovely to have people that know exactly what you are going through


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## hopeful76 (Sep 11, 2013)

I know what you mean Tone, it's not very easy to find messages / answers to your posts on this site. I think top right section 'Show replies to your new posts' is a good place to start... That's where I find mine at least.

I'm going to join up to a section of cycle buddies in the same time as me too - when I can figure out where that is! ah confusing! Will let you know if I can find it. 

Sounds like you're on the right track - I'm going to be doing the aspirin thing too - my Doctor called it the Colorado protocol. Are you doing a long or short course? I'm on the short and will be starting any day now... Am looking forward to getting on with it but yeah, not looking forward to the effects the hormones have on me - mainly uber tiredness. 

Cool, keep in touch with how you're doing,


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Hopeful, I left a link to the cycle buddies in my post, just select the right time frame, and start chatting!  If anyone needs help navigating FF, they just need to ask!

Sue


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hopeful 76, thanks for the advice! Think I 'm getting the hang of it now  I'm on short protocol as I'm 39 and have low AMH. Just went to the clinic now and found out not responding too well to the drugs. Only one follicle is growing and too much so they have put me on more meds to stop early ovulation. So fed up. Just want this to be over now really so I can start thinking about adopting if needs be. At least that's a certainty -  you'd hope! 
Don't worry about the drugs as I was really concerned about tiredness but have felt quite the opposite! I am also taking steroids though so that may be why I feel a bit wired and cant sleep lol. But my friend who did IVF twice said she had no side effects from the drugs. I think they just tell you worst case scenario so you don't panic if you happen to feel crappy.
Wish you all the luck for the start of your treatment


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hey Tone!
We have very very similar problems. I have very active NK cells (45 %), Dh has 2 % normal morphology and I am just starting ICIS this week!I don't know about yourself but I have also suffered repeated miscarriages (3 this year :-(  . Have you been put on an immune therapy with the ICSI? Its essential to have a successful pregnancy for us ladies with a uterus that thinks it's the terminator. Whats your protocol? I would love to have someone going through the same thing as me to chat with!


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hey Tone!
We have very very similar problems. I have very active NK cells (45 %), Dh has 2 % normal morphology and I am just starting ICIS this week!I don't know about yourself but I have also suffered repeated miscarriages (3 this year :-( . Have you been put on an immune therapy with the ICSI? Its essential to have a successful pregnancy for us ladies with a uterus that thinks it's the terminator. Whats your protocol? I would love to have someone going through the same thing as me to chat with!

Read more: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=312288.0#ixzz2gVfud1Sy

Hi Natty83! Yes we are similar! My dh has low sperm count and mobility. He is producing antibodies too so we are both killing everything off lol. I have been receiving intravenous intralipids weekly for a month - last one tomorrow yay! They recommended 2 2 weeks before treatment and 2 during. I am 8 days into treatment now. They also put me on prednisolone steroids for the NKcells.

Am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages (((
I have never been pregnant and am getting very nervous that I'll never be able to but only 3 weeks or so to go until I find out if all these drugs I'm being pumped full of will work....
I'm on a short protocol - started off with 412mg of menopur daily but yesterday they upped it to 450. Also taking celexa to thin my blood as apparently I have some clots which can cause miscarriages. Also started on a drug to suppress ovulation yesterday due to my only responding follicle which has gone a bit mad and growing too fast! Next scan tomorrow - really nervous....
Is this the first time you've tried icsi? When do you start your cycle or have you already started? Have you had intralipids/steroids etc? I went private as apparently they don't test for nkcells on the nhs. Good luck and keep in touch 
ps I'll let you know more about actual treatment next time if you want but didn't want to bore you in case you've done icsi before in which case you will be more of a pro!!


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Sorry just realised that I forgot to delete your original message I had copied into my reply to remind me of what you had written lol my head is all over the place!!!


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hi Tone! 
We are pretty much on the same day of ICSI as well, I have done 7 days and two days of ovulation suppression! I have finally got my date now for the procedure (monday) so I'm excited to feel like I don't have lemons in my ovaries! THey have had to push down my treatment to 75 gonal as I'm producing so many follicules and they are scared of hyper ovulation syndrome. I really hope I don't get it! 

I also just had my first intralipid infusion. Was so funny I was reading about it online and saw that it was 200,000 calories. I became a little concerned before realizing that the post was wrong and that it was 200. I don't really care about all that but still was a little scared at the number   I have been on the steroids for a while now and apart from a little insomnia I'm fine! During my last pregnancy I actually lost weight on them instead of getting the famous moon face  . How are you handling them?

I'm also on blood thinning injections even though I have no problem. It went through hell with that though as the dr. tested me and I came out with severe protein s deficiency. Luckily I found out three months later that it was a lab error.... Anyway they are still keeping me on lovenox ( same as yours but a different name I think) because its still supposed to help. I'm fine with them now its winter as having to show off my bruised stomach during the summer wasn't any fun. People kept looking at me like... oh poor girl who is hurting you! So happy to not have that anymore! Do you bruise with them? Also are you having a hard time finding places on your stomach for all three daily injections? I'm also injecting in my thigh but can't for everything. 

Also your protocal sounds great so I'm sure things will work out for you! Also you are on the full protocal for miscarriage from NK cell so at least you are covered! Have you had the NK cell assay? If so what meds did they say would work for you? They told me that my body reacted the best to IVIG but that they wanted to wait and try intralipids first. Anyway its great having someone else on the same path ( though I wish for your sake you weren't  
NAtty


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hi Natty! Guess what I am also booked in for Monday for EC!!! What time is yours and I'll say a little prayer for you  I had a hell of a week of ups and downs - It was touch and go whether we would even get one follicle at one point but I've ended up with 4 which although isn't fantastic is better than the one single one! That's great you have loads of follicles! Don't worry about over stimulating as they get you in so often for scans that they know if it's likely to happen and just adjust your doses to ensure it doesn't happen. Make sure you just chill now before the procedure - we really can't do anything else now it's so near apart from just relax. I know what you mean about running out of space for injections! My stomach feels battered and I have loads of bruises and little black dots from where the needle went in! How are you feeling in yourself? I am feeling quite odd today and yesterday - spaced out and really tired but jittery and also like I just can't get in a comfortable position to be able to relax kind of feeling. Never felt like this before....it's a bit odd. Just did the ovitrelle - trigger shot - and was really nervous of messing it up - maybe that was why I was so jittery!

The steroids really wired me out the first week and I felt really jittery and couldn't sleep until 2.30am each night. It's much better now and I haven't put any weight on. Strange that you actually lost weight on them! Just goes to show that obsessing over the side effects has no use whatsoever as the total opposite can sometimes even happen! I was really worried about ballooning as I am in the fitness industry and unfortunately all eyes are on the instructor and what they look like!

Re your protein deficiency - that's really bad that it was an error. How on earth do these things happen? My first AMH test came back as very low - 2.34 - in June and then the one I had done just before treatment came back as over 10 We still haven't got to the bottom of it. Clearly though the first one is right as I haven't, as expected, got many follicles. At this point though I' mnot worried as all I can do is give it my best shot.

Re NK cell assay, they didn't do that for me - wonder why? Suppose every clinic is different! Makes you realise that this clearly is not a precise science and they are constantly having to alter protocols for every individual case.

I really hope all has gone well for you so far since Thursday. Keeping everything crossed for you!  
Best of luck for Monday if I don't hear from you before


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hey tone, 

Its great that you have four follicles now! All you need is one so you will have a good chance at that! I'm still high risk for OHSS they almost didn't give me ovitrelle but at the last minute decided my hormones had dropped enough. I'm now monitoring weight gain to make sure I'm ok. Have already about a kilo of water weight but I'm managing to bring it down through drinking tons of water! I have realized that every time I don't consciously drink a lot of water my weight suddenly goes up. 

How did you test for nk cells? Was it through a uterine biopsy? In France they would only test me that way and then in the Uk they did the nk cell assay along with the normal nk cell tests. They both ended up pinpointing the same problem but the assay showed it was severe while the biopsy said it was mild! Who knows, I just feel we are lucky that we have this info as 10 years ago there was nothing! It's scary to imagine that 10 years ago we would have been considered an unknow fertility problem and would have never been able to have kids. Anyway thank God that's not the case!! 

I have my retrieval at 11 so don't need to be in until 9! I have been having to be at hospital so early for all my ultrasounds so its a treat to be getting up this late! What time is yours? I'll be thinking of you too! 

The steroids have been much better this time around as I only had insomnia for one day! I really feel my body tolerates the stuff very well! Its cool you are in the fitness industry! Are you able to continue if you get a + test? I have been told only walking and swimming to make sure everything goes well! 

Anyway good luck tomorrow! Stay positive and relax ( ill try and do the same!) One more step forward in this fight!  
Natty


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hi Natty! Oh my gawd you sound like you've been through a roller coaster ride but you're nearly there now! Hang on in there. How much weight do you put on from HOSS? I heard you can really puff out - sounds uncomfortable....only 24 hours to go though!

I did a blood test for the NK cells. I've heard methods really differ abroad. Are you French or did you just hear about a good clinic in France? You're right about the unknown fertility thing - it really brings it home to me. My hubbie's step dad and his ex wife never had children because ivf didn't exist then. He looked so sad when we told them about us having to go for icsi it broke my heart. We are so lucky we have these opportunities and that we will probably end up having a child of our own with any luck! I went private first - this first go - and I have my one and only NHS go in December so of the two I'm really hoping one will work. And you?

Know what you mean about the early appointments - Ive been backwards and forwards from central London more times in a month than I have in the past 5 years lol. It's probably that that I've found the hardest - trying to carry on with a 'normal' life whilst ducking around for scans and blood tests and drips etc. The injections were a breeze in comparison by the end and to think I used to be really needle phobic!

Good re the steroids - I don't feel them at all anymore now either thank god. It was quite bad at first and I remember one night getting up and googling whether the symptoms were normal. I found a whole blog of rants about them from people with auto immune conditions on massive doses, all with moon face and massive weight gain and loads of far worse side effects. Got really paranoid that night! Are you still taking the steroids now? When have you been advised to stop?

Funny you should mention the fitness thing - I~ have been thinking lately of whether its realistic to carry on doing it if all goes well. I teach yoga and pilates so I could technically not do as much but I'm starting to feel a bit precious already about not using my core muscles too much and not cycling and rushing around too much so i'm not sure how i'll feel if I'm actually pregnant lol!

I wish you all the luck tomorrow. My appointment is at 9.30 eeeek. Am being totally knocked out cos of my awkward u bend cervix lol so am really nervous......
Sending you lots and lots of lucky baby dust as they say on ff!  

Read more: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=312288.10#ixzz2gw1mWTu7


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

I hope they knock me out as well! I completely forgot to ask but after a very painful and traumatizing D&C (post miscarriage) I refuse to go local! I think that you can gain a lot with OHSS   Ahh just a few hours I'm excited! I hope we are both pregnant by next Friday! Crossing everything!!


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Oh I am so sorry to hear about your previous loss, what a horrid experience   This time will be your time I'm sure especially with all the anti miscarriage meds they've been pumping you with! 
I don't know what I will do until next Friday eeeeek! I am excited now but also cautious as there are so many ups and downs in this game....
Good luck!!!!


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hey! how did yesterday go?Mine was painless and successful so I'm happy! They retrieved 17, 16 were mature and 13 have fertilized. Also it looks like I'm not getting OHSS which is a major relief! Now I need to wait until Thursday for updates! They will either transfer on Thursday or Saturday! I'm very excited. Have all four of your eggies done well? Hope all is good! xoxo


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

That's fantastic! Well done!
I got 2 eggs of the four which took a grea deal of flushing to remove. I was happy yesterday as I was worried I wouldn't get any but today I am nervous to hear the result of the fertilisation. It' s a long shot but I guess it only takes one so who knows. I've stop trying to predict based on numbers, levels and statistics etc as it all seems like even the doctors are feeling their way round in the dark! Went to the nhs consultation today and they have said that based on the low follicle numbers I will have a long protocol next time  - if there's a next time.... did you ever do long protocol? I am worried about down regulating as it is supposed to be hell lol.
Am so pleased for you - fingers x this is your time now. Keep willing those little eggies on! Well, embryos I guess by now perhaps?! Good luck!!! xxx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

Tone said:


> I got 2 eggs of the four ........It' s a long shot but I guess it only takes one so who knows.


I had 2 eggs from 4 follicles, only one fertilised and was put back - the result is 4 next month! There is hope, Tone, my daughter is proof.

Sue


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

I will work out Tone! I'm positive!


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

oh and this is my fist round so no I have never tried the long protocol! Stay positive and lots of good energy will come your way! I'm trying to do the same but the hormones are making me very moody today! I think its the very high dose progesterone and estrogen they have me on! I miss being med free! Keep me updated !


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hi both! Thanks so much for your good wishes )))

I got some great news that both eggs have fertilised and they are doing the transfer tomorrow!!!! Soooo nervous and excited now eeeeeek! I simply cannot believe my luck (so far) and it has really made me relieved for the thing that I was most worried about - that my eggs would be too old to even fertilise! now I know it's possible even if this cycle doesn't work  it gives me so much more hope for the next. 

Sue that's so amazing from 4 follicles and one fertilised egg you got pregnant - it just goes to show! That gives me great hope....

Natty, have they told you when you are having ET yet? Can't believe you got 16 fertilised - that's so good!
and you're not wrong about the moodiness, god I snapped at someone in morrsions today for not price labelling the shelf clearly enough. Most unlike me....I am also - and sorry for TMI- really bunged up and windy from the preg. pessaries!

Wishing you the best of luck over the next few days if I don't hear from you sooner. Fingers and everything else crossed for us! xxx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

lol tone I'm so happy you said you were bunged up as well ( I feel less alone!) ! ( TMI info alert) my IBS is in full drive after the Hcg injection and I'm so constipated... :-(!
What amazing news that they are transferring two!  Fingers crossed that they both stick ( if you want twins that is ;-) . I know multiples are not supposed to be the aim but twins are so cute! 
As for me I will know tomorrow if I transfer tomorrow or saturday. I'm guessing as I had so many that they will transfer on saturday and push for 5 day blasts. So far its looking like they will only transfer 1 if its a day 5 blast. I really want to push for two but I know if I end up with premature twins I will regret it! So I'm just going to let the dr. decide. I hate giving up control!  I'm dreading the full bladder ultrasound as I have the smallest and weakest bladder ever! Tell me how bad it was if you transfer before me! Also I heard you get to pee in a bedpan afterwards, so awkward! Anyway lets try not to attack any poor bystanders today. Hope you have a great one!


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

At last I found this original post of mine lol I'm so rubbish on this site! 

If you haven't already had the ET, it's honestly fine. I didn't need to use the bed pan lol and was up and out of the clinic in an hour. I felt fine but very delicate, like really protective of my stomach on the way home by train lol.

Who knows what will come of this. I hope and pray it works but I also have to prepare myself for the worst. Have decided to test on Sunday - day before my otd on Monday 21st. At least that way i'll be at home if its bfn.

Why do they only transfer 1 if its a 5 day blast I wonder? 
god I really hope all is well with you. I have joined the 2ww part of the website now and following everyone's wait is so nerve racking lol - in a good way though. It's so nice to have people to chat to.

Keeping everything x for you


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

ps I had ibs for years too and it came back after the hgc shot lol. Those drugs seriously mess with your innards lol. Also I heard that sedation drugs/anaesthetic bungs you up, niiiiice. I am feeling back to normalish now though.


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

So exciting that you have transferred! Just need to wait now. For 5 day transfers there is a higher success rate and also 10 percent chance of identical twins. They really want to avoid multiples and therefore as I'm 30 and fall in the 'young' category want to implant 1. Ill know for sure tomorrow though! I'm getting excited!


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hope all went well with ET! Did you get your 2 embryos in the end? come on over to 2ww now if you want, it's really nice to have other people in the same boat to compare notes with! Getting more and more nervous and twitchy as the days go on here eeeeek. One week left.... xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Nope they only transfered one! Ill come over to the ttw I'm am already being a POS addict!


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## Tone (Apr 16, 2013)

Hi Natty hope you are well and that everything went to plan.....

I was shocked to get a bfp and after a week of on and off shock and elation I am now really worried about mc, god the worrying never ends!

Really hope all is well with you


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

I was thinking about you!!!!! Of I'm so excited two bfp s !!! Don't think about miscarrying. If it happens you will never be prepared. Enjoy being pregnant and send out all the positive energy you have in you!! We are going to have two late june early July babies! Crossing everything everywhere! By the way I got OhSs :-(


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