# Saying goodbye to peanut number 2 on Monday...



## Vespertine (Oct 25, 2008)

Hi

This is my first time having just registered, so be gentle with me!

My DH and I have been TTC for a couple of years, due to my PCOS and completely absent ovulation. Discovered I have bi-cornurate uterus which complicates matters further, but thankfully my DH has solid-gold little swimmers, so we still have hopes.

Have been on the clomid trail since Jan 08 (bleh!), only three cycles due to two pregnancies, which both ended in m/c at 8 wks and nearly 19 wks. 100mg seems to work for me, as I have conceived twice, but I don't seem to be able to hold on to my little angels.

I am now in the aftermath of my second m/c, I gave birth four weeks ago to my little sprite who was only 18w and 5d. Never have I felt so utterly torn; firstly from being bereft at losing her and at the same time so privileged to have been about to give birth to her, no matter how tiny and still she was. 

We said our goodbye to her properly at the scan when her little fluttering heat-beat stopped and we say our goodbye to her birthday suit on Monday, at her cremation.

The second m/c made the first so much harder to cope with and the thought of a further pregnancy and the roller-coaster that will inevitably bring, makes it all the harder.

I know that couples on here will have been through so much worse - many more miscarriages and IVF to boot. I know I have been lucky to conceive at all, but right now, after losing my little tic-tacs, I am struggling to count my blessings.

I shall end with the lyrics of a James Morrison song the chorus of which sums it up better than I ever could&#8230;sending you all baby-dust and prayers. Please god x

http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858612758

/links


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## larkles (Jun 29, 2005)

Hi Sweetheart

Just wanted to say welcome to FF

Sorry that you have had to go through all this pain, sending heaps of love for you tomorrow-my heart goes out to you    

Larkles
xxx


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## thumbelina (Sep 2, 2008)

Hi hun

Welcome to ff. Im so sorry to hear what you have gone through    .

I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Lots of love Thumbelina xxx


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## bubbles06 (Mar 28, 2007)

hi,iam so sorry to hear of your loss,my deepest sympathy to you and dh,hope tommorow goes well,take care,    ,
welcome to ff.


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## Shaz Dreams (Sep 19, 2008)

Hi I knw words won't be much of a comfort to you, but feel I need to let you knw my heart goes out to you and your DH. 
Take care of each other xx


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Verspatine, welcome to Fertility Friends.

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.  Wishing you strength and love to get through tomorrow.

We have a part of this board dedicated to the memories of angel babies and children. Many ladies here find it comforting to have a place to talk to / about their lost loved ones.

*Forget me not ~ *CLICK HERE

Adn we also have a pregnancy loss section which you might find supportive at the moment:

*Pregnancy loss ~ *CLICK HERE

Here are some more links you might find helpful. Please do have a look around and explore and start posting around the boards and making friends. FF is a wonderfully supportive community and you can only get the best out of it if you start posting and joining in so, please do so.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*PCOS ~ *CLICK HERE

*Clomid ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie night in the chat room every week (*Wednesday at 8pm*), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

C~x


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## Vespertine (Oct 25, 2008)

Thanks so much for all your messages of support.

It makes it easier communicating with people who are going through the roller coaster of infertility or subfertility.

I have appt to see fertility consultant who has been overseeing my clomid cycles, and hope to start round 3 in early 2009.

So, my DH is looking forward to me turning into crazy woman again! Clomid + Me = Crying Monster!


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## pip34 (Nov 19, 2006)

hi sweetie

welcome to ff hunny so sorry for yr losses , i have answered yr post on the pregnancy loss thread but i just wanted to welcome u and to say u have certainly come to right place for info and support,  without them i think i would have gone    after my losses and treatment if it wasnt for all the fab girls on here.  if u need to chat hun u can pm me anytime xxxx
take care sweetie
love pip xxxx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  That was a really touching and emotional post.  I can't even imagine what you are going through.  

Sending you lots of strenth and hugs for today.  I will be thinking of you

Sue


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## larkles (Jun 29, 2005)

Thinking of you today, hope you manage to get through it  

Larkles
xx


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## coughsweet (Nov 21, 2006)

Hello Vespertine

just wanted to add my   and   for you and your DP today. I pray that you will find strength to get through this day and send you love and hope for the future  

love coughsweet x


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## Vespertine (Oct 25, 2008)

Hi Ladies

Thanks again for all you wonderful words of support. 

Just wanted to let you know that our baby's cremation was beautiful today - its was bright sunshine and although it broke our hearts, I feel better now she has left the hospital and will rest in peace in the beautiful gardens of remembrance. The autumn leaves were falling and I felt so calm today  

Sending you all showers of baby-dust from me, my dh and my two resting little little peanuts, Baby & Georgie.

V
x


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## london65 (Feb 8, 2008)

Dear V - my heart goes out to you. What a sadness this must have been for you. I hope you will find support and friendship to help you both through.
Kate


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