# What do they come with....



## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

OK - strange questions coming up!    

When you get your match do they children come with clothes and toys....obviously don't want that to sound like extras on a car sale!!! But...suddenly worrying that along with kitting out rooms etc. we need to buy loads of toys and clothes for them too!!!!!


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

From what I've read on here it very much differs from FC to FC. Some come with car loads including cot mattresses, toys clothes etc our wee man brought hardly anything. He had the outfit he was wearing and 2 others. Toys wise he brought a few toys his BF had bought him (but they werent really played with just in a special box) and a few FC had bought him but it was a few e.g his favourite teddy, a book and a ball - that was it! 

I know opinion is divided on this but when ever wee man saw his toys from FC he became extremely agitated and upset - they certainly didnt provide with with familiarity and comfort. He would smell them, throw them and bang his head on the floor. We tried to work through this but in the end we put them away and things were much better - so I'm glad he didn't come with tonnes! 

Advice is not to over power them with too many new unfamiliar toys as it can be too much for them. Perhaps start with one or two and buy as and when your LO becomes board - they'll soon let you know


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

Varies hugely. Ours came with loads of clothes and toys. We asked people who wanted to buy presents to buy clothes in the next size up. The fc is the one to speak to.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

It will vary enormously. Children used to come with car seat buggy etc but not so much these days as foster carers don't get paid set up costs each time now. It will really depend on how much fc has bought as to what will come with. Our lo had a holdall of clothes most of which he was only just able to get into as fc held off buying next size knowing we would probably want to. He also had a box of assorted toys then got a big bag of more toys from bm at xmas a lot of which weren't suitable so they gave just been put in the loft and he has the ones that were.


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## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

Thanks guys  - we are only at pre-link (meeting next Tuesday) so just starting to think of loads of stuff....overthinking some of it as you can tell from this post!!! 

x


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## chadwick13 (Jun 30, 2010)

We have 2 little girls moving in in a few weeks and we still don't know what they have! Whenever we've asked fc, she just says you know, books, toys, 'bits and bobs'. She is incredibly unhelpful! We've bought loads, but will probably pack some away for a later date if once we get into the fc house we realise we've over done it. 

How can: 'You know, bits and bobs' ever be helpful!


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## kimmieb (May 9, 2013)

It can't haha! The lo's have been with the same fc for 1 yr 2 months so far so I can imagine them to have quite a bit...but you just never know! 

Is it something we could ask at pre-link or will the sw and ff not know this kind of thing?


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

We were the same as Chadwick, we asked and she just said "not much". There was a very large holdall of clothes but as I say most very nearly or already outgrown.
Because hs was placed just before xmas we got a few toys and Sleepsuits but not a lot else as knew he would get presents from friends and family.


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Loretta came with a couple of sleep suits, a cuddly toy, her favourite play toy and some bottles and toothbrush. That was about it. It really does vary as people say. In our case I think our FC likes to keep hold of stuff for the next baby she fosters, which is fair enough. 

You will probably find any clothes they do come with they will be outgrowing and it's nice to buy new clothes anyway. 

We spent loads on toys as in the first few weeks when we were funnelling and not seeing anyone it became apparent we didn't have nearly enough!

I think we got given a list of things she was coming with the first day of intros and not before, so quite last minute. Didn't feel like could push it much with FC, although I did try xxx


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

every FC will play it differently, some send them with a bag or 2 of clothes and bedding, others (like ours) filled our house with bouncy chairs, toys, clothes and so on….. I also know a couple that adopted a little girl and she came with nothing, the FC kept everything for future foster children! so it does vary.

My advice would be speak to FC and child's SW. They will give you a much clearer idea

congrats on your link, exciting times ahead


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## chadwick13 (Jun 30, 2010)

Yes, hopefully you'll get a better answer than the one we've had! Ours have been with the same fc for a year, but tbh, I'm not expecting them to come with a huge amount. We've been asking for a list since December, but I can't see it ever materialising...


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## weemoofrazz (Sep 6, 2013)

Our 2 boys came from different FCs. Older boy came with more toys, books and clothes than we thought possible for a 6 year old to own! In stark contrast his brother came to us with a small amount of clothes, 6 toys and about 3 books! 

One thing I can say is definitely find out what they will come with to avoid unnecessary purchases. As others have said, although it's hard try not to buy much at all initially as it really does overwhelm them, the worst culprits for this we found were our family and friends, especially at Xmas


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Ŵ had loads....

Enough clothes to see him another 2/3months, fave food/formula milk, bottled, dummies, toys, Xmas gifts, money box. 

LO wS only 11m at placement too x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Three car loads (2x Fiesta and 1X MPV).  I kid you not.

Bug was two, though, and his FC had been really wonderful with him.  She said to us that she never wanted anyone to be able to spot he was in care because of his clothes, and he had some lovely things, including things that had obviously been bought for intros, and clothes for him to grow into.  She had lovely taste.  

He came with tons of toys, which when we turned up for intros we thought were generic, foster home toys, but it turned out were all his - gifts from birth family, from extended foster family, from almost anyone who knew him - everyone loved him!  He'd just had his second birthday when he was matched, and he came with all his Christmas presents from birth/foster family, too.  

We didn't get the cot mattress, but he was going into a cot bed anyway.  

Tons of books (yay!) crayons, some formula and bottles, some bed linen.  Outdoor toys like a slide and ride ons....  Some of his stuff which he hadn't used much lately just went away in loft or cellar.

We didn't have a list in advance, and generous as it was it was a bit of a stress managing it all, and we'd never wanted our child to have too many 'things' (books being the exception!  *g*) so that took some getting used to.  To this day, he regularly plays with about 10% of his toys, but HATES the idea of storing or getting rid of any.  

I still love FC for the clothes, though.


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## Brummig (Jan 14, 2011)

Our LO had been with FCs for 14 months.  Like others we were desperate to find out what she would be coming with, but struggled to get answers before intros.  In fairness to FCs LOs SW had just changed (we didn't know it then) so had no idea, and she was at a stage where things were changing so fast, it was hard to say what she would still have/ need.  We got about 2 bags of toys, one bag of which was mainly gifts that had come from bf at birth and her first Christmas so were more keepsake items and we have put these somewhere safe.  She had a couple of special teddies (including the one we'd sent), and a few toys. There weren't many clothes (about 6 outfits, and sleepsuits), but FC washed every day so didn't need more, but our house is much more chaotic and washing gets done whenever (!) so we have many more. 
We had a great network of friends who offered loans and second hand stuff if we needed more, so we had a list.  As we got into introductions and started to see what she had and needed we started calling in favours, eg we hadn't realised she would still be in a cot, and we didn't think she would be for long so we didn't  want to buy one, so borrowed one for a couple of months.  LO only took her first independent steps the day before intros, and she couldn't reach doors, so there was only one gate in FCs house, but as the week went on she was starting to get about and get curious, so we had to quickly get gates, cupboard locks, and move a lot of stuff!
We were given a lot of toys and books by friends too for her age, and older.  This was a great help as lots to help distract over the first few weeks, and we could start to learn what she liked.


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