# Going crazy!!!!



## carrie lou (May 16, 2006)

Hi. I'm not sure what I'm looking for here except to get all this off my chest!!!


I'm incredibly lucky and blessed to have two beautiful children, 5 and 2. But I really really want one more. There seem to be so many reasons why this is a crazy idea. My eldest (although a lovely little boy) is something of a handful and most days I am exhausted just dealing with him, let alone adding yet another baby into the mix. Then I'm worried about the effect on my youngest, he already seems to get so much less of my attention that ds1 and obviously if he was no longer the baby of the family this would be even worse.... plus I really don't "do" pregnancy very well, I spend about 8 months with my head in the toilet, how on earth would I cope with 2 young children while feeling like that. And of course the expense and emotional trauma involved in just getting pregnant in the first place - we have no chance of conceiving naturally so it would mean a fresh ivf cycle. 


And yet..... I have this yearning that just won't go away. I see other people with larger families and think, that's what I want. That's what I've always wanted. And I don't want to give up on that. It would feel as if I was letting infertility win. Does that sound crazy? I keep thinking, all the potential problems and issues are temporary, whereas the child  (if we are lucky again) will be forever. I'm 36 in January so I don't want to wait too much longer. But I'm really scared


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## VicksterM (Jun 12, 2016)

Just had similar feelings but with having a second, so I do understand where you're coming from. I also don't have straightforward pregnancies!

Is it worth getting someone to talk to, like an integrative psychotherapist/counsellor? They can maybe help you unpick your emotions and motivations and get a clear plan together?

I guess you'll never know the impact on the other 2 until it actually happens but it sounds like you need to be prepared to face having your hands very full at least in the short term. 

I'm sure you'll make the right decision. Good luck : )


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## Penelope Pitstop (Oct 24, 2010)

I am in a very similar situation as you. I have two gorgeous boys both from ivf and have this urge to have another and it won't go away!!? I too need ivf to conceive and we have never been lucky enough to get any eggs/embryos to freeze so we would need to have a fresh cycle. I have a year in you as I'm 37 in Feb and I can feel my biological clock ticking very loudly!!! I'm hoping we can have a cycle next year but at the back of my mind I'm worried that we are just throwing money away as there is no guarantee it will work and my age is against me. 

Hope you can reach a decision about what to do. I guess it's better to try than regret not trying in a few years time when it's too late

Xx


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