# Starting ICSI Finally



## Missrri

hello everyone, 

what a wonderful site and so reassuring to see so many other going through the same thing.
Im 36, have a beautiful daughter of 7 years (natural) and have been trying 7 years for a 2nd.  Was told along time ago I may need IVF for a second but didnt beleive it.  Then 1 year ago, after finally doing a sperm test it was confirmed that this may be a problem and that we would need ICSI.

I have put it off for a year, not knowing what to do, beleiving that I will fall pregant.  But finally we have decided to go for it as this is our last chance now and haviing spoken to friends who didnt do it, they regretted not trying.

So here I am,  with a few questions and worries that hopefully you guys will be able to help with.

MissRRI x


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## Lou F ❁

*WELCOME TO FF*

*Wanted to say Hello and welcome you to FF, my role here of FF as a volunteer is to make sure you find your way as easy as possible, hopefully this message will do that  Am so glad that you have found us, hopefully you will meet like minded people that will help and support you through what can be a very hard stressful journey. There are many members here on FF with a true understanding of what you are going through at all stages that infertility throws at you  FF has brought so many people together and helps form many new friendships that may last many years, I certainly have and my life is richer for it. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what the IF journey entails and the emotions that go with it, That's where FF comes in to play. *
*I hope that you will find the links i have left you helpful and direct you where you need to be until you find your feet, which won't be long i can assure you. If there is anything that you still need to find give me or any MOD a shout and we will be happy to help you  *
*Links to follow..........................................*

*What Every New Member Needs to Know*
CLICK HERE

*Fertility Guides *
CLICK HERE
*Secondary Infertility ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. 
The *Cycle Buddies* threads are just for that.
Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment

*Cycle buddies *
CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board *
CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:
You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here. 
CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck    and  
Keep in touch
Lou


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## jom1000

Hi Missrri !! I have got 2 beautiful girls from my first marriage and have been trying for the past couple of years for another baby with my second husband without any luck, and have started ivf on the 26th feb ( self funded ) and am having the nasal spray which is making me tired and yukky!! I think this site is brilliant and its so important to be able to chat with other ladies in the same boat!! We have only been given a ten per cent chance of success but as you say i dont want to regret not trying the ivf route . After i had two children who were concieved naturally i didnt even think that it would be a problem trying for another baby but here i am !!! Have you got a date for starting or have you just decided to go for it? x x


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## Missrri

Hi Jom1000

Nice to hear from you.  I havent done any of the nasal spray stuff. I cant seem to find anyone with a protocol like mine...be niceif I could.  Its all happening so quick.  Im in Spain so maybe they do it slightly differently.

I had my fsh level done feb 27th.....then we got another sperm test done...just in case.  Got the prescription about 2 week ago with protocol.  Procrin (i think lupron) start day 1 of period and continue until told no more.  Then Puregon day 2 3 and 4.  Then I have another injection 3 days before egg collection.

I came on this morning and literally just injected myself tonight....been very calm all day then all of a sudden it was time.  Hand shook like absolute mad, but it went in and I didnt even feel it.  Tomorrow is 2 injections using the purgeon pen.

Its weird...im scared of the unknown...side effects etc.  Just before putting the needle in, I was saying to my husband...do we really want to start all over again...are we doing the right thing?  

But I did it, I have to, Ive put it off for too long and dont want to regret not taking the chance.  Havent told any family, I did mention to friends that we may have to do ivf but have pulled out of conversation....realised if its all negative I will choose who to talk too.  

I also started acupuncture this week as I heard it helps, well it certainly got rid of my fear of needles!

I guess my egg collection will be anything from 9 to 12 days time...ahhhh  What about you?


All very scary, hope to stay in touch

Missrri


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## quelle

Hi Missrri,
I know the feeling - apart from the shaking hand, as I am not brave enough to jab myself.   My protocol is not the same, but from the sound of yours seemed like short protocol! I am long  protocol and having TX in Turkey 
Still if you need me just PM.
Best of Luck!  
Love Q


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## Missrri

Well I started my injections Sunday Night or Procrin.  Done day 2, 3 & 4 of puregon.  Today I go for my first scan....little worried that nothing has happened as I actually havent felt so good!!!  Injections (for a scardy cat like me) were fine.  

Last week from Wednesday I felt lousy, had terrible throat and cough and really thought I may have to put it off another month.  Ive started acupuncture and think that may have helped....was suffering really bad allergy.

But I expected to start feeling something from the first injection.....maybe I have it all to come.  Lets see what the gyni says today.  My tummy is a little swolen....but it always is...I wish I had a pound for everytime someone has asked if Im pregnant...id be very rich.

Anyway will let you know what he says..


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## quelle

Hey Missrri,
Don't you worry! I am sure your follies are behaving   Good Luck with the docs appointment today!    

I also get asked if there is a baby in there, a lot! I even received congrats messages via ** and comments to some of the pics of mine that were uploaded. You can imagine the embarrassment of the sender(s) when I commented back "not a baby, just a belly"   Not feeling good about my body for the time being, but it is something I can change when I put my mind at it! Currently just focusing on the job at hand, 2nd TX,  and taking care not to eat junk food so the belly & bum does not progress any further.
Love Q


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## Missrri

Back from the Docs after my first scan day 5...Personally I dont know how many follicles Im supposed to have but...

He was very happy...said I had 10 follicles  good sizes and a couple of little ones....dont know if little ones included in 10....But the doctor was very happy and said Ive been responding well the medication.  Took blood etc.  I thought I had finished with Puregon but I have to buy more and continue with it.  Going back on Saturday and if all ok, Egg Collection next thursday.  I know this feeling can change any minute but considering I was really ill last week, I feel the best Ive felt in ages.  My doc also liked the fact that was doing acupuncture.

I just had to rush back to post it up as theres noone I can really call who will understand..


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## quelle

That is great news!!! I am so happy that you are feeling better


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## jom1000

Hi there missrri and quelle !! Sorry i havent posted for a while but have been feeling lousy for the past few days  am on long protocol  so i start with down regulating my system but the nasal spray had not been working so i am now on injections of buserelin which i hope are working are working and will find out on monday at my next scan ..... feel like i am in limbo i have been doing this for five weeks and just want to go onto next stage ....... we havent told a lot of people that we are going through ivf and its so hard at times to not let it slip so its nice to be able to come on here and talk about how its going.......pleased things seem to be going ok with you ladies   ... and one of you in spain and one in turkey? ......would think its better to be going through tx there rather than cold old britain!!!! My parents live in spain and wish i had gone there for tx!!! Where abouts you at missrri ? So at the minute am tired and have headaches from hell which i just hope shows the injections are working....so keep your fingers crossed for my scan monday!!!!!     Best wishes to you both ..... Jo xxx


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## Missrri

Hi Jom1000

If Im honest with you I dont really know much about protocols...down regulating etc.  I think maybe because of my age, or because theres no clear problems with myself (although im not so sure) that im on "short" protocol".

I went for my first scan on Thursday.  He told me to continue with Puregon and Procrin and said all is good.  Today I went back and he was very pleased.  Ive got 14 follicles good size.  Took blood again and so far so good.  I was told to continue with the Procrin and reduce the puregon a little for next 2 nights.  I have to go back on Monday for scan.  Tuesday having another Acupuncture Session.  If im honest....I cant beleive how lucky I  have been.  I have a little bit of uncomfort in lower tummy sometimes but nothing unnormal to what I go through anyway.  

I am very very weak normally with medications...I get all sorts of side effects but with this ive been ok.  One funny thing though is the first night I did injections I was nervous but it was easy and I didnt feel it.  2nd and 3rd night...was fine.  Then al of a sudden Ived started feeling anxious again.  Today Ive had 3 needles in me!

Thursday we think is egg collection.  I live here in Spain in the South.

Chin up!


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## Missrri

Ahhh I thought I was doing so well.  Been doing injections since Sunday A week ago.  Been fine, on really really good form...actually feeling better than ever.

Yesterday went for another scan.  Lots of follicles not quite big enough....had to do injections last night and back again today.  Tonight is the biggy as egg collection on thursday.

But last night I felt dreadful...I think ive read too many bad reactions after egg collection.  My heart was racing away, I felt really anxioius, sick, bad tummy and couldnt sleep.  Im really panicking now and physically feel really sick and emotional.  This morning was the first morning Ive wanted to cry. 

Gong for acupuncture this morning again and then another scan at 1230, hopefullly that will calm me down...but as Im sitting here I can just feel my heart racing away, I feel all tight and dreadful.


Someone give me some good news about egg collection...afterwards


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## jom1000

Ah poor you.......  have heard that egg collection is not a problem .....actually very nice to be sedated and have lovely dreams apparently!!!!!!.........think sometimes the reality of what you are going thru just gets to you and panic sets in!!!!...........have had a couple of days when i have cried and felt its all got on top of me then am ok the next day......sure the accupuncture will do the power of good.......sending you big hugs......hope your scan goes well.....Jo x x


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## quelle

Hi Missri and Jom,
I was very nervous the first time around for egg collection. After reading consent form I was so scared I went so far to tell DH that if anything ever happened to my ovaries I will have his balls for lunch!     Loco, right? Poor DH sunk in to the sofa for the rest of the night, I must have been really scary  
My egg collection last time was easy... I shook off the sedation really fast and just felt a dull ache at the right ovary when I woke up, which subsided as hours go by.  Missri I am sure you will be allright. The nasty side effects are usually for people who have more than 20 eggs collected  
I really hope accupuncture helps you and you feel much calmer  
Good luck with the EC on Thursday!!! Big      
Love Q


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## jom1000

Hi Quelle ....Just been reading your diary .....how you getting on ??  Totally understood such a lot of things you said in your diary.....so comforting to know that we arent the only couple who get stressed with each other under this pressure of ttc.......   ......Jo x


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## Missrri

Thanks all
What a state I was today.  Burst into tears at the acupuncturist then again at the clinic.
I just couldn't control myself.  My heart was racing away .

Well had scan think he said will take about 14 good size follies

Just done trigger shot and will be at clinic Thurs  morning 10am.

No food or drink since midnight before.... I love my tea 

Going to sleep or try... I feel wrecked after last night.

Thank you x


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## quelle

Hey Jom and Missri,

Jom, I am doing OK  DH is behaving himself for the time being. Thanks for asking   How are things with you?
Missri, enjoy your drug free day   Hope you will have 14 lovely eggs that will realize your dreams. Don't fret about the EC, I am sure it will be all fine...    
Love Q


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## jom1000

Evening ladies......had the green light from the clinic today to start stimms 2moro!!!! Woo Hoo !!!   I am so excited!!!!......at last!!!!!! Missrri good luck for 2moro am sure it will be fine. Will be thinking of you in the morning......And quelle am pleased to hear your dh is behaving himself .....men can be so insensitive cant they? My dh is hoping that my stimms will make my moods go away and my sex drive return!!!!! ............Keep telling him its not a miracle cure!!!! Lol !!!!!................well bang goes my healthy eating regime that i started this week .....just had chocolate    was fab !!!!!........................Jo x x


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## quelle

Aww Jom, you had me       there.... What with the sex drive and chocolate!     I am sorry to report that stimms are doing nothing for me in terms of libido but I sure have vivid dreams for the past 3 nights   2 were nightmares and the last one was "fun" involving sex... Stimms make me feel so tired the one thing I want most is to sleep, so good luck with your DH if you happen to have the same symptoms as I do! Loads of positive growing vibes to go with your stimms tomorrow.
Missri, thinking of you for tomorrow @ EC! Good Luck once again   
DH had a big argument before leaving the hospital (he is a doctor himself) as the guy who was supposed to come an take over the shift decided to show up really late, and he made himself a ball of nerves, fretting about the time of my injections. He is the one doing them to me as I am useless with needles   I am trying to relax him and not to be under his feet, so as to avoid drawing his vengeance my way. If you ask me he was within his right to stick out for himself but he tends to drag on issues so if he goes back tomorrow and raises more arguments I won't be surprised. This will hurt his career but no use trying to tell him that! So I just lay low and see how things turn out!


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## Missrri

Hello!!!!
Thanks for thinking of me...well went in this morning for egg collection!

Sedation was great, best sleep in ages .  They coulnt wake me up.

20 eggs collected...feel ok. Thinking  painkillers wearing off....bit nervous how bad the pain may get but so far so good.

They will call me tomorrow with news of fertilizaron .....i guess i leave the decisions up to them now

Xxx


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## quelle

Keeping my fingers cross for good fertilization Missrri!!!       What a good number of eggs you got. Way to go!!!


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## Missrri

Hi,
thanks queelle
Thought i would just post that I feel 100 times better than i  thought i would.  I came home and rested all day on the sofa.  I took an ibuprofen at 12 at the clinic but didnt take another until bedtime...even then i didnt really need but my husband didn't want me to wake up wiith pain and wanted me to have a good night sleep.  The pain is bloating and bad period paiins...but i suffer with this anyway.

The doctor gave me this progesterone things to put up, 2 in tthe morning 2 in the evening.

A hot water bottle reallly helped me last night too, made my tummy more comfotable.

Today is the day they call me tto let me know whats happened.....hopefully good news!


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## Missrri

Just got the call from the doctor.... 20 eggs were collected and 14 fertilised today. Mhe said they will check them again on Sunday and transfer will be Monday or Tuesday.......I don't want to get my hopes too high but guess this is good so far?

Doc asked if I had been to the loo.....realised I had only done pees that did feel a little different.  Not been number 2 yet.....anyone know if maybe you are constipated afterwards...could this cause any problems?


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## quelle

Missrri some anhestetics do make you constipated, but more so progestrone intake!!! They start you on progestrone right after EC. I am not sure if it poses a problem though


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## jom1000

Wow Missrri thats brilliant news!!!! Way to go !!!!! Am so pleased things going so well .......Its so exciting !!!!........and how you doing quelle?......whats everyone got planned for the weekend? Am continuing  my healthy eating regime with a huge pizza in the oven right now!!!!    ........Jo x x x


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## Missrri

Hi jom1000 and quelle

Well it's sat had egg collection on Thursday.  Been feeling ok but taken it easy.  Went out today and got pains in lower back and front so home again resting.  I know I should be pleased with 20 eggs and 14 fertilised yesterday....but now I feel like I have no power at all...it's suddenly hit me that 14 (well was) embryos are sitting in the clinic.  I've also had time on my hands to read the pro and cons of blastocyst....the Internet is not always great .....you get information overload.  They said they will call me tomorrow with an update.... But why not today?  Read so many things that waiting till day 5 you could loose them.

Quell. ...I read your diary...I also blamed my other half since we found out....I didn't tell him but finally one day it came out and I felt so much better.  He said that we are so lucky to have the opportunity of ICsi and ivf being around....unlike our parents time who would have no choice.  but part of me thinks there must be a little problem with me too.

This is such a weird feeling that out little embryos are out there and hopefully if we get to et this journey is nearly over.

I hope I will beabletohave some frozen as I don't think I will go through all this again if it fails.  I also read that normally they onlyput1 blastocyst back in...I wonder how much choice have over this.

Hope you are both ok

Missrri


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## shortbutsosweet

quelle
your diary is amazing! i have had crazy issues with my partner, and what a shame i didnt read your diary as i went through some of them!  I wish you all the best


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## quelle

Hi Ladies,
Shortbutsosweet thanks for your comments on the diary  It is strange that so many of us go thru the same problems   It really helps to keep a diary... How are you doing so far? Finding any other sites helpful? I also wish you all the best, chin up SBSS   If you need to rant or just to share you know where to find me  

Missrri I think I made peace with the idea that no matter who's fault this is this is the way we all have to go thru... I have been thinking a lot today on how much we cannot control and how our expectations build on on top of the other. With every hurdle left behind our hopes gets stronger... I never had enough embies to go and try for blasts. Today doc said if all is well they may try this time. Like you I am undecided, the risks are too high... The distance to fall is too high too. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Whatever you decide blast or 3 days I am sure it is the best choice for you. Keep us posted        
Hi there Jom! Thumbs up to your healthy eating regime   I hope your weekend is going on nicely!!!

I am doing OK, my EC is planned for Wednesday and I am a bit anxious. This time I have 9 follies so hoping for 9 mature eggs.. I am really deep in thoughts today, suddenly all is too real again  
I do hope  that you are all doing well... 
Love Q


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## jom1000

Hello ladies have just typed mega long post and it dissapeared!!!Arghhhhh   So here goes again!!!!! Missrri i think the internet can be a curse at times!!!!! There is so much info but not all of it correct!!!! Asked the nurse at my clinic about some stuff i had read online and she said it was rubbish!!!!!Know its hard but try not to overthink as your clinic as proffessionals and will do whatever is best for you.......hope you feel better 2moro....we all have moments when the reality of ivf sinks in and i start to panic ....wondering how i will feel if it doesnt work ....and how will we cope .....but then other times i think i am coping ok......i think it must be natural to have highs and lows .....i guess ivf is reallly a rollercoaster as people say!!!!sending hugs  ....Quelle.....good thoughts about next week i hope they get boatloads of eggs!!    .......will be keeping everything crossed for you!!!!!Healthy eating right out the window as just had a curry .....its shocking i have lost the plot since starting tx!!!! But will be exercising on monday now i am feeling more energetic....but will avoid walking along the beach in case they think a whale has beached!!!!!   .........just sent hubby for choc now .....must kickstart on mondays with a salad!!!!! .....Jo x x x


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## Missrri

Hi All,

Well, Im still waiting for the phonecall....they said they would phone me on sunday I know its not even midday but cant help feeling that in this case that the saying "no news is good news" dont apply here.

I wanted to share with you 2 stories about people that I know...they dont know each other.  A friend of mine was told they needed IVF, both partners had problems.  They did 1 round of ivf and got pregnant but m/c at 7 weeks.  They were told to get on with intercourse as if you are pregnant...it means you are fertile.  Very difficultly they did the following month and yes...they fell pregnant naturally.

Then someone else I know was doing ivf...sadly m/c.  I told them the story.  They did it (intercourse the following month) and got BFN on the tests yet when they went for a scan to start IVF...they had a BFP.  Speaking a midwife who is also a friend, she said this is very very common.


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## Missrri

Ahhh just got the call.  Out of 14 fertised on Friday, Today there are 12 left.  Im to be ready on Tuesday for ET or maybe wednesday.  He said if they look good on Tuesday we do it then.

I told the doctor to do his best at keeping some frozen incase it doesnt work, as we probably wont do another whole cycle.  He says they will put back 2 blastocysts....my husband I think is a secretly a little excited about the thought of twins....me Im trying to play it cool....expect nothing and anything is a bonus.


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## jom1000

Wow Missrri twins would be fabulous lets hope for that!!!!!   Everything is going great for you bet you cant wait till next week for et........xx


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## Missrri

Fingers Crossed  

At the moment though...whilst I dont feel ill I am in a little discomfort.

Yesterday and pains either side low down (ovaries)  i had some acupuncture...thats a bit better today.

But today all day Ive had like shooting pains through my tummy.  Its not unbearable but it is happening.  Anyone else remember feeling the pains?  I just want to feel well for ET...if anyone has any tips, let me know.  I just want to be fit and well for it on Tues or Wed.  ALso could the progesterone thingys im putting up cause thrush?  I feel a bit uncomforatble down below.  

Quelle will be thinking of you for EC on Wed...I maybe doing the et...


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## quelle

That is so good news Missrri!!! The wait for the phone call is dreadful but you really are in for a good chance for frosties  I do like your philosophy for taking one step at a time. But it would be great to have twins       Good luck with ET next week!


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## Missrri

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
When I woke from egg collection the nurse gave me ibuprofen.  I've been taking it not every day but 300g here n there.

Now I read it's a no no.

Waiting to speak to doc. Et tomorrow!

How dangerous is it?


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## quelle

Missrri,
I belive if you didn't have ET there is no real danger. The only thing ibuprufen is doing is to inhibit the permability of the blood vessels as it is an anti-inflamtory. And my hubby (medical doctor) said it also makes your blood thinner... He also said in 24 hours it clears your system. Not sure about the affect on endometrium but I would say don't worry! 
Hope this helps. Love Q


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## Missrri

Thanks quelle

I'll try to chill.  1 pm tomorrow 2 little ones are going back in.


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## Missrri

Hi ladies

Well today I have 2 embryo in my belly.  Et was nothing and over with really quickly.  Was emotional seeing them on screen.  After what seemed like loads I was extremely upset that none were frozen.  Just yesterday I had 8 blastocyst now relying on these 2 to work.

I had acupuncture with a couple of hours.

Now resting at home and got that2ww.

Quelle hope ec went ok.  Day 6 today and first day no pain so maybe a good sign for them to be put in today.

Jonut..hope u r ok too


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## jom1000

Hey Missrri  .....am hoping those embies are settling in and making themselves comfortable!!!! Pleased the egg transfer went well and didnt take long.....now you have gotta try and relax and chill!!!!!Am on day 7 of my stimms and feeling bit bloated and got a scan 2moro so we will see how the land lies then!!!!.......Quelle hope you doing ok .......Its been a bit of a couple of days but now am sitting waiting for Masterchef and munching on choc!!!!!  ...............bliss!!!!!...........Jo xx


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## jom1000

er just reread post !!! should be its been a busy couple of days!!!!!!


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## quelle

Hi Ladies,
Jom goodluck with tomorrows scan! Hope all is progressing well in there  
Missrri hope your embies are holding on thight in there  
I just got the call from the lab and only 2 of my 5 mature eggs are fertilized. A bit gutted and scared. If they continue to grow then we can have da day 3 transfer. If not then... I dont even want to think about it! All for nothing     
Love Q


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## Missrri

I got everything crossed for you Quelle.  Whata gamble this whole procedure is xxxx


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## jom1000

Quelle am praying that those little eggs are growing strong ........Missrri hope you ok.............I have just got back from scan and not great.......only got 3 follicles on right ovary and nothing except a cyst on left ovary ..........feel pretty fed up .........my body just seems to have not responded very well to this ivf from day one!!!! Maybe its mother nature trying to tell us something  ..............Jo xxx


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## quelle

Jo, do not despair!!! If you are right mother nature is being a total "b*tch" as I am only 35 with eggs god knows how old!       Not suprised though I am capricorn and it is said that we are born "old"       I got 7 eggs and only 2 embies, if they last till ET... So follies are not "that" important, right?
If they get 3 eggs, sometimes 1 follie can even deliver 2 eggs just read that on March/April cycle buddies thread, and all fertilize you will be in good shape. Sendin you loads of


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## Missrri

Hi all,
well im waiting and waiting, had a few pains but tummy finally getting less bloated which is nice, but have put weight on everywhere.  Dont feel stressed but its hard not to think whether its a yes or no.

Feeling little upset as we only told a hand full of people (not family) , now they seem to have told people, and im getting emails from people saying, good luck....now wish i never told anyone.  

But I guess worse things could happen.


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## Clare_M

Hi,

Please don't get down. I only had 3 follicles on my first cycle, and one good embryo in the end. I had a beautiful baby girl, so stay positive, sending you lots of luck. All you need is one good one, I promise.

Take care

Clare
xx


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## quelle

Hi Ladies,
Just wanted to update you! Our 2 made it. I am now PUPO with 2 embies, both grade 2, one is 9 cell and the other is 6 cell.   More yet today we had 4 embies to choose from.   It seems last pair decided to devide a little later. Unfortunatly their relaxed sprits means they will not be able to qualify for freezing...
So me and DH was worried sick for the past 48 hours, not knowing what awaits us on the day of the ET... Not much left to wait until the OTD.
I hope all of you are doing fine my     thoughts are with you.
Love Q


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## Missrri

weve all been a bit quiet here!!!

Im still waiting but cant say I feel positive.  I know the symptons are the same but really feel like got pmt coming, splitting headache...in fact I feel like Im back to my old self.    

Sunday 11 days after egg collection my tummy finally started going back to normal size.    It funny, since I took the injections hormones, id never felt better....Id never been felt so calm and relaxed...even my husband couldnt beleive it was me.  Even my friends said I was different.  

Anyway hope you guys are all ok, I know I need to stay positive, but its hard.  It so hard not to think..yes, no yes no, am i arent i?


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## jom1000

morning ladies! ...How are you doing today ? Hope the wait is not driving you both nuts!!!Went for scan yesterday and have 6 follies !!!! Yeah !!!!So got ec 2moro and am keeping realistic and know that they might find no eggs or ones that are dried up !!   ......but after the problems d/regging and the lack of follies at first scan then i am happy to have come this far!!!!!..........lots of love .........Jo xx


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## quelle

Jom, 
Goodluck with EC tomorrow! 2ww is not easy but as we cannot stop the time, it passes by... A little too slow for my liking if you know what I mean  
Love Q


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## jom1000

Hey ladies just back from clinic!!! Got four eggs!!!!!!!!!!..........Have been told that its icsi and the clinic will ring back in the morning to see if they have fertilised!!!!!!!!!!..........so fingers crossed...........actually enjoyed egg collection !!! The sedative was great and felt so so relaxed and felt nothing..........wish i could have some of that stuff to bring home !! Wow !!!  ........feel a bit sore now so relaxing in bed reading papers !!!!!!!!!!Am going to milk this as much i can just for the rest of the day !!!!!!!!!  ...poor dh!!!.............anyway enough about me how you ladies doing?...........x


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## quelle

Jom great news on 4 eggies  Lets hope they have a wild time tonight in the lab with DH's 
I am halfway in to my 2ww... Not too many symptoms atm... But eating loads of nuts and pineapple!
Keep us posted on the fertilization news!!!
Love Q


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## Missrri

all sounds good for you guys so far....hubby just gone out to get pregnancy test for tomorrow...personally i wasnt going to bother....rather just wait and see what happens...period due sunday...going to doctor monday for blood test.  Im feeling quite calm at the moment.

But...ive had this really weird sensation like little contractions almost in my vagina, ive never had anything like that before.  Its so weird that I have no idea if I am pregnant or not...i thought i would know...but i dont.  Ive also had a terrible headache since Sunday, had acupuncture yesterday and that really helped.  One thing that has come out of this is I think I will definately carry on with acupuncture.  Since doing it, my allergy Hayfever as practically been non existent...its been amazing.  Even my dh has just tried it.

Tomorrow is only day 9 after embryo transfer.  I had transfer last wednesday on day 6 transfer....so will tomorrows pregnancy test be accurate?


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## Missrri

Did test a very clear bfn


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## quelle

Missri, the only way to know for certain is the blood test.... How sensitive is your HPT?? It might be that HCG is still under its treshold and that can well happen. Hang in there, got 3 days left till Monday!

Check the betabase chart at the link.

http://www.betabase.info/showBasicChart.php?type=Single&start_age=18&end_age=50

Love Q


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## Missrri

Ok, now i understand......on the hpt it says 25mlu?  I dont really understand any of this!!!  But it was a clear quick 1 single negative line.

I have today got what I guess is spotting....just a little but something of a darker colour.

I wish I never did!  Well have to wait, af due sunday, blood test monday.  Is spotting a good sign?

I think I worked out its 18 days since the trigger shot before e/c.


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## quelle

You never know with the spotting, sure thing is I does not always mean AF!   Don't get too hang up on that... This is a waiting game hun! Not much to do but wait till the blood results are back.


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## jom1000

Hi Missrri .....am hoping that monday blood test reveals a bfp and am  for you......quelle hope you doing ok .......just got word that i had 3 good eggs and 2 have fertilised so going in on sunday for et.......dont think i have ever been so nervous waiting for a phone call in all my life!!x


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## Missrri

My journey is over.  Felt terribly last night and af arrived this morning.  Gutted absolutely gutted.  Thought with 2 strong emby on board I'd get at least one.  Everything went so according to plan... I had loads of eggs, they fertilised, I was never in any pain, in fact never felt better... But obviously it's not meant to be.  

I wish you both all the luck and to anyone else reading this, treasure every single bit of morning sickness and indigestion when you are pregnant as you never know, that may be your only chance.  X


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## quelle

Missrri,
So sorry to hear that AF has arrived    IF is really cruel and all we can do is wait and see, even though as you said all went according to the plan it may still not work    
Words fail me hunny! I know the sinking feeling when this did not work... Hearbreak is so hard to handle. Take time to heal and then try to decide on your next step...
Love Q


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## jom1000

So sorry to hear about your news Missrri .........really dont know what to say as nothing will ease your pain but am thinking of you and sending big hug .............Take care ....Jo xx


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## Missrri

Is it just us or does everyone have a bit of tension between the two of you after a failure?  Im questioning everything whilst dh just happy to accept - but that him all over.  A nice person that happy to accept the "Professional".

My e/c was 10am on a thursday.  My e/t was 1 pm on the Wednesday.  This was very very late more than 6 days actually going into the 7th.  On day of ET I felt like i was on a conveyor belt with loads of people having ET, they couldnt fit me in till 1pm..that was the only time.  Why tell me all the way through i have great embryos then at the last minute they were no good to freeze.

DH saying, well they would have turned out the same (bad or not developing right) even if we froze them at day 3.  I wasnt given any chance to go in a chat between EC & ET is this normal?  Maybe I should have had 1 Blastocyst transferred and freeze the other.

Even after ET doc told me I could take Ibuprofen if I wanted...(i didnt) but everywhere on the internet says...NO!  

Im suppose to go back to the clinic today but part of me doesnt want to...whats the point?  please tell me Im not the only one feeling like this.  Plus I have to pay them another 400€ for a BFN because it went to Blastocyst!

Its funny, through this journey, the people that say...."well you have 1 child already you should be pleased at that" are the people that just fall pregnant so easily and ivf isnt even in their vocabulary.  But it doesnt stop you wanting more or sibling for your only child.

I think that the most upsetting is explaining to my little girl that the seed was a bad one.  She said to me last night, mummy I was looking forward to having a brother or sister, will you try again?


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## jom1000

Hey Missrri .........how did you get on at the clinic today? I know that people expect a failure to concieve not to hurt as much when you already have a child but it so not like that........i have my two girls but it still heartbreaking that we have had no luck giving them another sibling.....xx


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## Missrri

I didnt go!  I had my af, was really really upset and angry at the doctor (even though he is lovely normally)...i thought it best to leave it a few days.  Going tomorrow morning.


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## quelle

Missrri -   Take all the time you need hun!
Jom - hi!!!


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## jom1000

Hope you get on ok at the clinic 2moro Miisrri and get some answers...why dont you write all the stuff down that you need to talk about? I find sometimes that i get totally emotionally and just blurt stuff out and miss out half the stuff i really wanted to say!!!!Let us know how you get on.. .........Quelle is it your otd 2moro?....You not tempted to do a hpt?......Am crossing everything that you get your bfp...........  ...........afm...........feeling totally bloated like i am going to pop and really tired..........am thinking thats the pessaries........and sniffling and have a sore throat aswell!!!! Not feeling a happy bunny!!!!!.......maybe chocolate will help!!!!!! ...........xx


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## quelle

Hi Jom,
Yes it is my OTD 2morrow! I am having bloods so will know for sure...         too scared to poas   

I know the bloating too well thanks to Crinone Gel   Chocolate is good for anything


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## jom1000

Hi Quelle .been thinking about you all day have you had your official test yet....xx..........And Missrri have you been to the clinic yet?............xx


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## Missrri

Hi,
yes we went yesterday.  I got very upset.  He continued to say that they dont freeze any that are not 100% perfect as if it doesnt develop properly then there is a genetic defficiancy.  What i kept saying though was that i was always told they would good quality.    He was sorry for me and genuingly think he was upset too but I do feel there were too many patients as he got very confused thinking this was my second ivf when its my first.

He said that there are new tests being done and that its about the endometrium rejecting the embryo.    I said I felt that 6 days was too long, i wanted the embryos in me.  I asked if I did it again would I be able to choose if i have day 2 or 3 and freeze...basically i think not, he would continue to do what he thinks best which is put back in as perfect embryos as possible....so I doubt I will do this again.

I think i have to move on and accept this is my life....its not exactly bad...infact I have a great life compared to many...but  its not turned out exactly as i wished...but I guess noones does.  I always wanted to have 3 or 4 kids by the time i was 35 in the hope of being a young grandmother....stupid hey!  

I guess ill get over it.  Wishing you both all the luck xxx


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## quelle

Hi Ladies,

Missrri sorry that you were not comforted at your follow up appointment. I always find these appointments a bit disappointing... At the end of the day there is really very little they can tell you about the most crucial question: What went wrong? Frankly I find the IVF medical ecosystem shields themselves via using this "unknown" blanket! Their position is most comfortable as they try to keep you pumped up with positivity hence "your embies look great" "your eggs look good" "you had a chemical that is really positive" and when all goes pear shaped they simply can not tell why... Then thy start talking about "your eggs looked older" "your fertilization rate was not that great" I feel so angry when they do that   Not knowing is bad enough, feeling like being led to believe that this has got a higher chance of working is worse!

Jom, thanks for asking. I got a BFN and that hit us hard. I was away from FF for 3 days and now come back to answer my friends who had been inquiring about me.... We are planning to change clinics and even thinking of having a natural IVF cycle.... 

How are you doing?

Love Q


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## jom1000

Hi ladies......sorry your clinic didnt seem to have more answers Missrri ........i know that life seems really unfair at times ........had that conversation with dh yesterday....what about trying another clinic that will do things how YOU want them to be done?...And Quelle am so sorry to hear its a bfn ....thought as much when you hadnt posted but was hoping not.....isnt this ivf such a bloody nightmare?....i never thought it would be so emotionally draining ....am totally fed up now with the whole thing and feellike i have wasted 2 months of my life pumping myself with hormones and suffering headaches , tiredness and mood swings and no bloody guarantee that  there will be anything to show for it.....have lost all pma......feeling like period could be on its way and did hpt yesterday which was negative so am just thinking that its bad news as dont have any pregnancy symptons .....dh and me are so down and i am so bloated, and have a horrible pmt headache and have sacrificed alcohol, self tan and hair dye for the last 2 months and all for what ??......sorry for rant but as you said Missrri sometimes life just doesnt go how you want it to and that hurts.......Love from a very frustrated Jo !! xx


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## Missrri

Hi Quelle, I'm so sorry.  Haven't stopped thinking of both u guys hoping for a positive.

What's a natural ivf cycle?
If either of you ever decide to try again in the costa del sol let me know ... I could help with accommodation n would be lovely to meet you.

I feel a bit clearer and pretty sure I won't bother again. Although when I read a story of another woman getting twins  At another clinic here on day 2 transfer it's tempting.

Jo... Still fingers crossed!!!


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## quelle

Hi Ladies,

Jo, fingers crossed...   I totally understand your frustration. Yes you are right no guarantee what so ever, on the other hand this gives the best chance on achieving our goal! For us it is close to impossible to have a natrual pregnancy... So, we will push our luck and resources and mental health to its limits. This is different for everyone! With each failure it gets harder to keep the PMA! If you need to rant I am always here for you...

Missrri, what a lovely offer!  I live in Istanbul, Turkey if you ever visit let me know! I will keep trying here for a bit though, if all else fails and we decide on Donor route then going abroad is our only option as Donor is not legal here. Hope you decide on what to do next and find peace  

A natural IVF cycle is a cycle with minimum medication. They keep a close eye on your natural cycle and then extract the single egg your body chose that cycle. They give you an hcg shot to make sure it is matured before EC. Then this single egg is injected with sperm and if all is good it then fertilizes. If it makes to 3 days stage with good credentials then you have your single embie back... This is less distrubtive to your body and mental status. However there is a high risk of not making it to ET or no fertilization.... Since each time they pump me with drugs I produced an average number of eggs and had issues with fertilization, 2 at the last cycle,  we are thinking that only the egg that was to be released in my natural cycle fertilizes. So what is the point of pushing in hormones and irritating my body? We will talk this thru with our new choice of clinic and see what they say. Since less drugs are used it is significantly cheeper as well!


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## jom1000

Well ladies its officially over today with my bfn from clinic .......knew it was gonna be that way so have had a cry and feel better now!!!! especially as i am typing this with a huge glass of vino in my hand!!!! ......Am gonna try and get back to normal and forget about ivf for a while and concentrate on getting myself pulled together and get hair cut and thinking about nothing ivf related as it really has taken over my life the last two months and its being really draining......just want to go out with dh and have fun !!!!.......wont be posting on here for a while but i would like to say thank you to you both for being there and i really dont think i could of got thru this journey without your help and support.......so take care and i wish you all the best for the future......i dont know if i could put myself and my dh thru this again .......certainly not in the near future!!!!......but if i take the plunge again i will be hunting you both out to chat !!!!!!.....Thanks Missrri and Quelle and sending all my best wishes and hoping all your dreams come thru...........love Jo xxxx


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## jom1000

Ps ladies....please pm me for my email address if you ever fancy saying hi !!!!.....xx


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