# Questions about foster to adopt (for second adopted child)



## kizzi79

Hi all. 
I have one beautiful little boy of 26 months. He is well settled and i am now starting to think about the possibility of having a second child after he turns 3 (he has been home since he was 10 months old). My local authority are pushing foster to adopt for younger children. I was wondering if others had done this when adopting for a second time? Also what the arrangements are around finances (as i assume you cannot take adoption leave from work) - sounds a terrible question, but as a single mum i have to think about financial security for my boy and any potential child.
Thanks, Kiz  x


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## morganna

If you foster and then adopt.......you should negotiate an adoption allowance. La's are not always forthcoming in giving you this info! But persevere.
I fostered and adopted .....twice. And each time received an adoption allowance.
Please feel free to pm.
Morgana.


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## kizzi79

Thanks Morganna (and congratulations on your upcoming arrival)  C  x


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## watakerfuffle

At approval panel this week for number 2 and looking at the foster to adopt route. I am self employed so doesn't apply to me anyway but like you say I don't think you would be able to take adoption leave. We have been told that we would receive a fostering allowance which is £130 pw and that doesn't affect tax credits if receiving them. Don't have much info to give but will be interested as well if others do


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## kizzi79

Thanks Watakerfuffle (and good luck at panel) - hope you are matched nice and quick.

Kiz  x


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## Sun Flower

Hi Kizzi 
Foster to adopt for number 2 is something we are really interested in for next year, our SW said there is a new law in 2015 which means employers hav to allow leave (not sure of pay) for foster to adopt and then convert into adoption leave (with pay) once placement order is granted. I don't know all the ins and outs yet, but I'm hoping to check out the government website when I get a spare minute! 

Watakerrfuffle (love the name!) good luck at panel 

X


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## kizzi79

Mummy sunflower - that sounds really promising (would be really helpful if it comes in before i apply). Good luck too, kiz  xx


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## Ally Wally

Hey Kizzi....don't know much but I will be following this thread as all sounds very interesting. Something you know we too will be interested in.  Xx


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## kizzi79

Yes may be we will be going through about the same time Allywally.

C was very funny today, went to a local cafe with friends and he tried to "claim" another customers baby (crying "mine baby" when she had the audacity to leave) - hopefully a good sign  ;-)

Kiz  x


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## Ally Wally

Oh too special. Sounds like he could be ready. I'm having a really grateful and proud sense of achievement moment... Reading back through my blog, just hit home how s**t things actually were and how far we've come. Things are so much better now.


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## Barbados Girl

Ally- just devoured your blog, it is so so good! Are you thinking of being approved for no. 2? X


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## Ally Wally

Aaah thanks so much. So pleased you enjoyed it. It has been such an amazing source of 'therapy' for me. Yes, am thinking about no.2 again but our SW told us there has to be a 3 year age gap between children. Odd...as everyone else I talk to says only 2 years. I can't put anything on my blog about this as my boss occasionally reads it and I really need to tread carefully here!


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## Kaytie

Hi Ally,

Really, 3 years is news to me too. Majority are 2 years, sometimes 1. Would you consider a different LA/VA? Even just a phone call to find out what they do?

Good luck, don't give up xx


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## Sun Flower

I also thought it was a 2 year age gap, 3 seems excessive but I guess it depends on the needs of the Lo's and LA having their own criteria

I do worry about how LO would react to another child, he loves children at groups and is very kind, always offers his toys to others, is very good at sharing and helping. But when he saw me and DH holding a baby a while back he cried   I know they adapt but it does worry me, I wouldn't want to upset his little world and burst our happy family bubble, anyone else feel a bit anxious (But very excited)  about number 2? 
X


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## Ally Wally

I'm tempted to stick with the same LA purely as I hope it would be better than going through it all from the start again. DH concerned me the other night as he said he could be quite happy with just one child. This surprised me (and upset me a little if I'm totally honest) but I think he just needs time to get his head around the idea (just like he did when we were initially considering adoption) I might give the LA a call and ask them to clarify.

Sunflower, I think every kid out there struggles to welcome a sibling into their lives, no matter what their circumstances. I guess they just adapt in time like you say. We had a situation just after LO was placed with us to take on his sister (details on my blog) and we were gutted that SS decided it wasn't in his best interests.  Especially as i keep seeing articles from BAAF about 'keeping siblings together' BM is currently in prison so no chance of another sibling for a while. 

Is the 'foster to adopt' scheme the preferred route with the LA's these days?


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## Sun Flower

Ally Wally, I am looking forward to sitting down with a cuppa and reading your blog for the first time this afternoon   

We too were offered a new born sibling just 3 months into placement, we made the heartbreaking decision to say no at that stage as we felt it really wasn't the right time for our LO. We are now 6 months down the line and considering foster to adopt next year (unless BM gets pregnant again!)

I think foster to adopt is the preferred route for some LA's, it certainly seems popular now and is proving successful, although I think as a new scheme, some LA's were cautious to begin with.


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## Kaytie

When we adopted our first child, it was on a foster to adopt basis. Our LA are quite proactive. Never really gave it a thought 're adoption leave issues mentioned above. Officially we were adopting.
We were approved for our second child in July, and have been waiting since. No possible match yet, nada. Again, it's likely to be on a f2a basis, very common now.
We also had worries about bursting our lovely family bubble, there will be challenges, but we're ready to take them on. Very normal to worry Mummy Sunflower, it's the unknown parts/bits that mess with us.

Xx


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## Sun Flower

Hi Kaytie and Ally Wally (and everyone else   )

I just wanted to bump this thread again, as I was reading through my book marked threads, and I found this from last year. We have now made the call to our SW and are awaiting a first visit / meeting to discuss number 2 and foster to adopt. Our LO is 2yrs 2months now (will be nearer 3yrs by the time we get to matching panel I imagine) 

I was just wondering how you guys were doing? any news / updates and anyone else using the Foster to adopt route for number 2?

Ive only just gone back to work but we really want another child and this time I will be giving up work (however I remember on my adoption leave forms there was a section to fill in with an option of 'not returning to work' ) this meant that you get some stat adoption pay but not the additional adoption pay from employer, so when I hand in my notice this time, I wonder if I will I still get some adoption pay from the government for a few months?  

Would love to read your updates X


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## Bluebell261

Hi all, 

We ar considering f2a, any updates from anyone?

Thanks 😀


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## mafergal

Hi everyone, we are going through foster to adopt for our second now, although slightly different because this is for our son's bio sibling who is not yet born. As things stand we are looking at AP in August where we will be ratified as temp foster carers on the same day. I've been updating the thread below 'birth mum is pregnant again...' with how things are going. 

Our son is now 2 years 2 months & sibling is due this month. We are at the moment awaiting the results of a battle between our VA and the placing LA about who will assess us. It's been stressing me out for about 2 weeks now & feels very messy but it should be resolved this week. We've filled in several forms & answered a mini booklet to update our PAR with info about us and our son etc.

I returned to work from 9 months of adoption leave last month. I saw adoption leave & pay mentioned in this thread. I've confirmed I will receive the same pay & leave for foster to adopt which is a big relief.

Mummysunflower, you would get stat adoption pay for 26 weeks.

x
x


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## monkeymooo

Hi All, just come across this thread and was interested to hear any updates.

We have 4 year old adopted son and we're going to panel in November for number 2.  We are currently considering whether F2A is for us.  My heart says yes, but I worry about the impact on our LO when it comes to contact with BPs.  I wondered if anyone could share how contact worked for them - can i request that this is during school hours for example or do we have to accommodate what the BPs request?  It's mainly the contact which worries me. I imagine it could be really hard to have to meet with Bps potentially every weekday for 6 months?  It must be exhausting for everyone involved.

I'd love to hear any experiences people have had, good or bad!


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## Thepinklady

My DH and I are just coming to the end of a concurrent placement which sadly has not ended in adoption for us. The LO who had been with us for 9 months from she was weeks old will return home next week. As you can imagine as things had went well for mum our contact was quite high and was four days a week for the last 4-5 months. This can be exhausting. I tried to look at the positive in that it gave me time to do jobs that I would not normally get to do if I had a baby full time. I always planned a nice treat for myself once a week. The aspect that was most difficult was that there was no breaks in this contact so right throughout the summer contact continued as normal giving no opportunity for even a short break away somewhere local. This LO was our first so we did not have to think about the needs of another LO as well but it might be  more difficult co-ordinating around a LO although not impossible.

We were lucky and have built up a good relationship with mum and there really was no hostility going in and out of contact each day but I have spoken to others who had very difficult parents to contend with and dreaded contact. I did not dread it I just wished that there was slightly less of it. I could not really take part in the normal mums and tots activities due to contact schedule which means you are slightly more isolated. I was fortunate that my best friend was off on maternity leave at the same time. 

I know that as things stand we will not be adopting LO but had we been I do feel that I had got a good knowledge of mum which I could pass on as when appropriate. Also ongoing direct face to face contact was going to be likely if adoption went through and due to the relationship we had built up I think I would not have felt so threatened by this.

Contact has positives and negatives and you have to make the best of it. For us even though it has not worked out we know that we will do it all again via concurrency as we could really see the benefits in it for the LO.


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## becs40

We did fta but only after po was granted so a bit unusual. Contact was still in place for a few weeks so it carried on the same as it had been with original FC. 
Our lo had 3 sessions a week all weekday afternoons. LA collected lo and took him to the sessions and returned him so we never met bp's. I think there were a couple of occasions earlier on that FC did take lo themselves but majority was collection and return to and from the house. He used to be collected about 1.30 and would be dropped back about 4.00pm.


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