# Feeling overwhelmed



## greatexpectations (Jun 16, 2013)

Hi ladies, 
We have a 2 yr old daughter from previous IVF in 2015. We have 4 embrios in the freezer. I think they are graded at 3AA, 4BB,4B-B- and 6BB. Our DD was a 5 day blast 4AA. Unexplained fertility. I am 37.

we have recently been discussing trying for another and agreed we would give it a bash naturally for 6 months before deciding what to do. I hold no hope in falling preganant naturally and find myself thinking about a FET more and more. 

When I start to think about it I start to get nervous and anxious and all the feelings of TTC for 4 years previously come flooding back. I'm feeling very overwhelmed at the thought of going back into treatment when our lives are just the best since we had our DD.

I had my treatment at Barts and although I cant fault the treatment itself the admin there was awful. I don't even know how I would go about switching clinics, or if I should or not. 

I just don't know where to start. I have no idea what FET actually entails.....

Any imput would be very helpful.


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## aissha (Nov 3, 2009)

Congratulations on your DD  

It can be totally overwhelming and I have been worried about getting sucked back in to the world of ttc,, where it occupies your every waking moment... and it has... so sorry, I can't say it is a breeze...

But what I can say is how much less traumatic and invasive FET is compared to fresh cycles. You can even do natural FET, which I haven't as I don't have a natural cycle, but if you do, then it could be a possibility for you...
I don't have to DR as I am permanently DR'ed!! So that might add to the length of your treatment...

For my medicated cycles, I have been on progynova (in varying doses) and patches (every 3 days) and then lutinus for the second half. Once you get AF then you should not need to have any appointments until a lining scan around Day 13 (maybe they might do an earlier one if you have had lining issues in the past). 

Then they would schedule your ET a few days later and just the pessaries normally until OTD.

So in terms of appointments and injections, it can be absolutely minimal.

If you have a look on the FET Cycle buddy boards,  there are lots of ladies who are doing variations on the same concept for their FET, so you might get some more ideas...

Also, maybe the admin has changed in the last couple of years since you were there, so it might be easy peasy now  
best of luck and feel free to ask more questions, there is always someone to answer


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## OHradicals (Jul 13, 2012)

Your situation sounds so familiar. I am 37 and have 3yr old son from fresh IVF, unexplained infertility, and we decided to do FET last year and did another (last) one this year. Both failed but I am glad we did them and the experience was mainly positive.

The cycle itself is quicker and less taxing than a fresh one. Mine involved a total of about 4 appointments 1) Down-Regulation injection, 2) scan and collect oestrogen tablets, 3) Scan and start progesterone pessaries, 4) embryo transfer. It took just over a month from 1-4. Although our visits to the clinic were always a positive experience, it is still physically exhausting (I had horrible headaches and hot flushes) and emotionally draining. The thing that has made the whole process more bearable, however, is having our son and knowing that we have a happy family even if he can never have siblings. We did one FET and then decided that the next would be our last because we wanted to move on and give our time and energy to our son.

It is really, really important that you talk to your partner about how you are feeling before you start. Get all the niggles out in the open and get counselling if you need help with the decision-making process. There are lots of ethical things to think about when deciding what to do with your frozen embryos. Remember too that it is OK to stop trying.

If you're not happy with your clinic, change it - I've no idea how, but lots of people do.

Good luck


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## LuluLimon (Jan 17, 2014)

Hi there
Just wanted to reply as you are very similar to us. We also had our fresh cycle at Bart's which gave us DS.
We had our first FET there also- the consultant was great but admin wasnt and I wasnt that happy with the overall service -we still had to wait a while. We changed clinics and feel better although just had a bfn. This was only as I'd been seeing a gynae at Portland hospital who charges about the same for FET. Bart's were fine about moving embryos and that all worked but we just didn't feel it as private patients.
It has brought up a lot of the hurt that this journey throws you, despite having a child. FET is easier although I was naive to think it might just work again like that but DS keeps me grounded in this. However we deeply want a sibling and will keep going for a while yet. 
Good luck whatever you decide x


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## greatexpectations (Jun 16, 2013)

Thank you for your responses. I got overwhelmed by even starting to think about it so had to take a break. 
I think we will make some enquiries at Barts and actually a little waiting time isn't such a  bad thing in the situation we are in right now. 
I was a bit naive about being able to get online to this roller coaster again and take it all in my stride, but I think having my DD will help and give the the strength I need. 
I also trying to keep realistic about the outcome. I know own how lucky I am to have a child already and we'll aware that lightning might not strike twice. 
I'll keep you posted on my journey. 
Xx to 7


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## IzzyQ (Jul 12, 2016)

Hello greatexpectations,

I completely get the feeling overwhelmed thing, it is a big step but there are ways you can stop it overwhelming you. I found acupuncture to be absolutely brilliant, it would melt my anxieties away. 

I highly recommend my doctor to you, Mr Adrian Lower. Having personal contact with a knowledgeable, honest and kind consultant who has listened to what I wanted (i.e initially a natural cycle) has made all the difference. I went to him because I didn't want to go to a clinic that might persuade me into all sorts of expensive treatment I didn't want. He's a Gynaecologist so he does work other than fertility work. He's recently moved to a brand new London clinic called IVI just off Harley Street and is going to have IVI run all the scans and tests but you would still see him for consultations.

I'm on my 3rd cycle now and we're throwing everything at it...I'm currently 6wks pregnant and regretting I didn't do this before! If I end up doing a 4th FET I would do the works, I'd rather do that than go through more loss.

I wish you well in your journey! There's lots on this forum about different clinics if you do decide to change.


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