# Why is it so easy for some people?



## Emmylou80 (Aug 14, 2014)

I've just been to get my hair cut and my hairdresser (who is in her early twenties) told me she is pregnant. It wasn't planned, it was a total shock, she doesn't even like kids, and hasn't bought anything for the baby because she can't be bothered and what is the point in having all the stuff hanging around the house? She then went on to question me about whether I want kids, if my DH wants kids, when we are going to have kids etc etc. 

I somehow managed to keep it together while I was there and then cried all the way home. Why does it happen so easily for people who don't even want it? It is so unfair.


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## CrazyHorse (May 8, 2014)

When I am in a dark mood, I say that it's because there really is a God, and He loves irony above all things.  

Rationally, I think it's because life is largely a lottery when it comes to health and fertility, and fairness has remarkably little to do with outcomes. 

What I do wish is that people who get pregnant accidentally and/or have kids they don't like or want, would keep their gobs shut about other people's reproductive choices and fertility status. If a long-term couple doesn't have kids, either they don't want any or it's an enormously painful subject due to infertility. Either way, it's incredibly tacky to ask.   Grrr!

I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience.


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## Goldielocks80 (Feb 26, 2013)

Oh EmmyLou I do feel for you!! Must admit I've been in that positions a few times and have learnt to glaze over now. It does feel so wrong doesn't it that someone who doesn't even want kids and isn't even excited about it when there's us who would give anything (and pay so much!!) to even get a chance at it!!

Truly wish that people would not be so insensitive. I hate it when people say "Have you thought about having kids??". How do you answer that?! Yes, actually I think of it constantly and have done for 5yrs!!!

It does hurt such a lot Hun- sending a big   Xxx


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## TreeHugger (Dec 4, 2012)

I know how you feel   

A similar thing happened to me last month when I was at the hairdressers. It wasn't my stylist but another in the salon and she had a loud voice so you could hear her moaning about her pregnancy the whole time, and how it has been an inconvenience to her social life!! Lots of deep breathing and singing songs in my head got me through but it felt like a very long 45 mins!

Some days are easier to ignore people and their insensitive attitudes, but i fear there will always be bad days


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## tinkerbell24 (Apr 18, 2013)

hi can relate to this, I have (had) a friend who I was very close to until she got married and moved away and had 2 children and was always texting me to tell me about her perfect life and perfect family kvetch asked how I was, 2 years later she left her husband and found someone eles and went on to have another baby, I never heard off her again, I'm not on ******** but my mum is and my mum said she updates her status so many times a day saying how hard it is to be a mum of 3 and how her bodies change ect  

Another one is my partners brother whos gf has a child from previous relationship and got pregnant again, they new what we'd been through yet everytine we saw them it was pregnancy this and that, when born it was shoved in my face so many times asking why we don't hold her or speak to her every cold she got we new about it. In the end we stopped seeing them so much as we felt it was purposely rubbed in our face (kind of women she is)

I've bumped into women loads of times complaining about their pregnancy or babies and then when they say how about you? I reply....I've had 4 years off   in the process loosing one and now need to pay brands for a ivf. .the look on their face is priceless I feel like saying now walk in my shoes and complain x


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