# Egg Share worry.....



## Marielou (Oct 18, 2003)

Girls, I feel so guilty, and I hope you can understand......... 

I'm so thrilled that the results came back negative, and that everything is ok for us to start egg-share ICSI. 
But......I am so worried about the egg sharing now. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I'm going to help another couple, but what if, say, I got 20 eggs, and they were split, 10 for me, 10 for my recipetant, and only 12 of them were good quality- and by some fluke, the recipetant got 10 good eggs, and I got 2 good eggs, 8 bad? They split the eggs before testing the quality, that way its 'fair' but its doing my head in!!! 
What if I only get 10 eggs, then i have to make a decision to give her all the eggs, and get free IVF for me next time, or take all my eggs myself, letting the other woman down, and having to pay full price for any other IVF I might need. 
Its awful, and I'm so stressed. I think I might bring this up at my appointment on Tuesday. I'm so worried at all the uncertainty- worrying about the eggs not fertilising, then not implanting - I think for the first time, its hit me that this is happening, and this is HUGE. 
I feel awful for feeling this way. I am early twenties, slim build, healthy, so there is no reason why I shouldnt produce lots of lovely eggs. Right? 
So why am I so worried?!! 
I know this is a lot of 'what if's' but because my treatment has been held up a lot, I don't think i evere thought I'd actually be doing ICSI!!! 
Thanks for letting me vent 
Marie xx


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## Nicky (Apr 23, 2003)

Hi Marie-Lou – fantastic news on your results. I hope I can help with your other concerns. Firstly, it is a wonderful and very special thing you are doing – as an egg recipient I know that your gift you will mean the world to your couple. 

It’s worth mentioning when you next visit if you are really concerned – I understand because once you start it really is a rollercoaster.

I can assure you though that your recipient will be feeling exactly the same regarding numbers/quality etc. but you won’t know anything about the recipient and likewise. Please try not to waste precious energy and time thinking about “the what if’s and but’s”.

I’m not sure whether the clinic (we are at the same place) have changed their rules re: 10 eggs, but we were allocated 5 eggs in our first cycle, 2 of which were immature and only 1 fertilised. Please remember though - you only need one golden egg to achieve that much wanted pregnancy.

Hope this helps!
Much love, Nicky xxxx


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## Marielou (Oct 18, 2003)

Thank you so much Nicky- 
When we talked to the egg share co-ordinator, she said that they like to see at least 12 eggs for egg share, or it comes down to the decison to keep the eggs, or give them all away. 
I can't believe the stress of today, compared to the high of yesterday- its finally dawned on me i think that this is going to happen, and that It won't just be me depending on my eggs, there will be another couple as well, which adds to my worry!! 
I suppose I shouldnt worry until there is a time I need to worry, otherwise I'll be insane come egg collection time!!
Are you on the waiting list, or are you having treatment?
Best of luck, and thanksa so much for your understanding. 
Marie xx


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## Nicky (Apr 23, 2003)

You are more than welcome Marielou - our 2nd cycle failed in Jan and we now await our third donor. 

They must have changed the regulations, as we were told if 6 eggs were collected our donor would make a decision.

It's nice that you think about your recipient, but just keep the worrying to you and yours for now - I can assure you the recipient will be exactly the same.

Good luck hun and keep us all informed.

Love Nicky xxx


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## Squeak (May 19, 2004)

Marie,
please don't worry. 
You are helping somebody like me whose eggs are useless and who is desparate to have a child with the man she loves. 

I am about to start egg sharing too except I am receiving eggs from an ICSI patient. 
A donor has been found - I've only been waiting since January so I am very, very lucky. 
I will be receiving eggs probably within the next 2-3 weeks -just waiting for my menstrual cycle to begin. 

Now if I remember correctly earlier this year there was a govenment / Human Fertility Authority ruling on the number of eggs a woman can receive. 
In general most clinics were already working to best practice guidelines but there was no formal policy. 
I understand the ruling now states that for women under 35 they return 2-3 embryo's and for older women it is about 3-4.

An ICSI patient I met produced 16 eggs from her egg collection. She was trying for a second child by ICSI. 

My colleague had IVF and she advised that once the eggs are collected they are graded by quality and only best quality eggs produced are returned to you. 

So if you produce 20 eggs, you will only receive back 2-3 embryo's back. The lady you egg share with will receive another 2-3. 

As for the remainder - don't know what the clinic does with these.

Regards,
Deb


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## Nicky (Apr 23, 2003)

…..I may be able to help (again). It really is a numbers game and yes, HFEA guidelines are 2/3 eggs. However, they may not all be suitable for ICSI. They may not all fertilise and after fertilisation, they may not continue to divide (of course, there is every chance that they could) As an example, our last cycle was:
21 allocated
17 suitable for ICSI
10 fertilised
2 replaced
3 frozen, but the other 5 were not suitable to freeze (only the best are able to survive the thaw) – see what I mean about numbers 

Anyway, what you need is lots of luck – you have a few hurdles yet, but it will all be worth it to get the result you want.  - sending lots of babydust your way !!

Hope this helps again!
Love Nicky xxxx


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## Marielou (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks girls,

I think today was just a blip for me, as I honestly thought I'd spend the rest of my life having tests lol and never actually get to the stage of booking drugs/finding a recipetant.
I know how wonderful it is to recieve a donation, as we did DIUI last year, and I will forever be grateful to my donor for his 'gift' to us. 
That is largely the reason I wanted to egg-share, as I wanted to help someone else, and I hope I do, I really do. 
I think i've just been over-whelmed today by my feelings, I'm off to acupuncture now, and hopefully that'll calm me down. 

Nicky- Best of luck, and I hope you are matched with a donor soon. I imagine the wait is terrible- I really do hope that you're successful soon, thank you for all your help today. 

Deb- Best of luck with your ET in the next few weeks- thinking  for you!! 

Marie xx


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## sas jane v (Aug 7, 2003)

Marie - just wanted to echo what Nicky and Deb have said that as a potential recipient myself please try not to worry about letting others down and give yourself every chance

as a donor recipient yourself Im sure you understand better than most what a great thing youre doing and be kind to yourself about it

Sarahxxx


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## carole (Jul 21, 2003)

Marielou, just wanted to add my  for you. On my first donor cycle I only got 8 eggs, but still shared. On my second I got 13 eggs, and the donee got 7, I had 6. But I was an old bird (35) ! 

Good luck. IM me if you need to.

Carole
xxxx


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## carols (Apr 16, 2002)

Marie,

Don't worry if you have enough eggs for your recipient, she is doing that for you 

Although she will be hoping for as many as possible she will be grateful for any she gets.

My donor produced 33 eggs, I got 16 I was, understandibly, over the moon, however 8 perished befor fertilisation and one didn't grow when fertilised so I ended up with 7 useful eggs. I was so worried that there wouldn't be enough as I was convinced they would all die etc.

2 were implanted and grew to be Phillip and Anne and I have 5 frosties. I won't be using the frosties so I am going to give them away.

You are doing a wonderful thing for someone, they appreciate it.

Good luck Carol


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Marie.

I'm right there with you. I am sharing my eggs...I start Down regging tomorrow...and I'm worrying sick right now that I won't produce enough or that they won't be good enough quality. The stupid thing is I'm not worrying for myself but for this poor couple that have been waiting ages for me to get going on this. I couldn't bear the thought of ending up letting them down!
I'm not even thinking about us right now. Maybe that's a good thing though.


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## Nicky (Apr 23, 2003)

...just wanted to add what another wonderful person you are Caz. Good luck for the future!

Love Nicky xxxx


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## stockportsun (Mar 11, 2004)

hi marie and caz
ive just finished my egg share and had all the same doubts and worries 
just to give you some encouragment i produced 26 eggs 13 each for us
8 of mine fertilised 7 of them 4 cells grade ones!
2 put back in today  the others we are freezing but letting them grow to blasocyst stage first.
it seems like every stage you go through is like an exam and the best advice i could give you is to concentrate on yourselves after all you are doing this for you as well (easier said than done) that was the advice my consultant gave me and it did help me focus. im sure your reciepiant will be doing all the worriying and she would want you both to be as stress free as possible? for the best outcome for you all 
love eloundaxx
      may all our dreams come true


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Thank you Nicky, and thank you elounda for your very encouraging words of support.

That's an absolutely fab outcome. Now you've just got the one last tiny little hurdle and you're home free. I'm keeping everything crossed for you...well maybe not everything .


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## Marielou (Oct 18, 2003)

Thank you elounda,
Wow, 26 eggs!!!! How amazing for you- I hope your 2ww goes by quickly- let us know the outcome, i've been wondering how you were doing!! 


Marie xx


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## cookies (Jul 27, 2004)

Hi there i went through egg sharing i was the donor. It is a very stressful thing but it's so worth it i am now happliy awaiting the arrival of my baby boy. I know it hard not to worry but try not to cause yourself more stress at such an already stressful time wishing you all the luck in the world.


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## thumper3172 (Feb 5, 2004)

Hi marie lou
i understand your worries, i had 2 goes of egg share niether worked for me but thats life. it will happen.
The second attempt i had 5 eggs couldnt believe it...... ^furious^ but i decided to let the other couple have the eggs and try again. when i did i was calmer, and had enough good eggs for myself.
Please dont worry about this it can make u worse, when the time is right it will happen..... i know its an old saying and makes us all feel like ^furious^ but you are helping someone with a smaller chance than us. and they too will be worried.
You will be fine and the hospital will support you and so will we every step of the way 
good luck all the best 
pet


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