# Mental Health Issues & adoption



## Greeneyed (Apr 12, 2006)

Hi everyone, 

I hope you do not mind me butting in and asking a quick question on your thread. We are ttc and  not considering adoption at this time however it is something me may consider in the future. 

I suffer from a mild anxiety disorder and OCD. It is manageable, I do not take any medication, have had no time off work etc, it is just uncomfortable in that I worry excessively and I am plagued by unwanted obsessive thoughts (I do not have the compulsions, i.e. handwashing, excessive cleaning etc). Whilst mostly I have learned to manage this on my own okay and just accepted it for part of me, I have twice sort help from the NHS by way of therapy and I am currently in that process. I am concerned that should we go down the adoption route in the future this may affect our chances. 

It is possible I could seek private counciling and not use the NHS and therefore not disclose the status of my condition to doctors. 

Reading this it sounds awful, I would not want to actively decieve anyone and I know that the welfare of the child is paramount, however I do not believe my condition would prevent me from being a good parent (my condition is not apparent to family and friends and does not outwardly affect my behaviour) There are thousands of others out there with menatal health issues, past or present. does anyone know the take on mental health issues such as anxiety and depression and adoption. 

Many thanks Greeneyed xx


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## sjm78 (May 22, 2007)

I dont think you have anything to worry about lots of people applying aplying to adopt have had times of anxiety.The best thing to do is be completly honest and the fact that you have had help is a good thing and a positive step.You could just ask for an early medical to put your mind at rest.


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

it is best to be completely honest throughout the adoption process..it may feel like its something that you could get away with hiding  but honestly its best to be open from the start. its very difficult at times believe me, but you have to try and see Social Services as your ally not the enemy.
from what you've just written i cant see that this is a huge problem..if YOU think you can be a good adoptive parent then your challenge is to prove that to SS..the fact you have sought help before will be seen as positive, as SS will see that you arent afraid to ask for help at times of need, something which is very important when placed with a child.
as wigantwo says, you can suggest that you have an early medical...
good luck and try not to worry 
kj x


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## Greeneyed (Apr 12, 2006)

Hi Ladies, 

Thank you for thoughts and reassurance. 

Many thanks 

Greeneyed xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi greeneyed

Don't worry. It probably would be better to be open than worrying constantly that they might find out.

I suffered from OCD for a number of years, and also depression. The first time we adopted, I hid those facts from our social worker. They didn't find out, but the guilt of hiding the facts, screwed me up over that time.

Since adopting our DD, I had a brief period of depression. I had medication and counselling. We're just going through the process for the 2nd time, and I decided to be honest. I thought it'd be better for me to have recognised the problem, and sought help to overcome it, than ignore the problem and hoped it would go away. Social services agreed with me. It's now down as done and dusted. Although I'm fully aware, it may well return at some point.

Having anxiety issues doesn't necessarily slow down the process, and certainly 100% doesn't stop us from becoming brilliant mums! (Even if I do say so, myself!!).

Don't worry!!


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## Mable (Apr 9, 2005)

I cannot agree more. There is nobody more nurturing than someone who has struggled with something in life and has compassion for others. I'm afraid I can't give you an experience of going through the adoption process with a mental health issue,  but I just wanted to put my quick view normalising what is a very stigmatising problem.

I am a mental health nurse. We all have mental health issues, we all suffer from some sort of anxiety in life, it protects us from danger. In terms of severity, the key is the extent to which your mental health effects your life, your ability to have a relationship, hold down a job, communicate with others, live in the world. Sounds like you have your anxiety under control, you recognise that at times it runs away with itself with obsessive thoughts and you have sought treatment for this. This is to be commended, you are taking responsibility for yourself, learning ways to manage your thoughts, and this would make you an excellent parent to an adopted child who might have anxieties about all sorts of things in life.

I think that whilst you are likely to have questions about your mental health during the getting to know you assessment process, you can put yourself forward confidently, outlining the lack of impact your anxiety problems have on your life, your commitment to learning ways to manage your anxiety and the compassion and self awareness that this process has given you. You should speak about your mental health experiences with pride, not feel embarrassed and needing to hide them. I understand why you do, having treatment is still stigmatised in our culture. You'll have to be a bit of a pioneer on this one.

Hope this doesn't sound idealistic. After all, the adoption panel are all people who have all experienced anxiety in some form or other. 

Wishing you much luck in all this,
Mable


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## Diz74 (Jan 1, 2007)

Hi Greeneyed

I'm pleased you asked this question as we are having one last go at IVF before starting the adoption process.  I was diagnosed as suffereing from anxiety earlier in the year and have had a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a Mental Health Nurse.  I still feel I've got a long way to go at times as I'm no way near 'cured' and can feel ok for a few days / weeks and then really on edge and stressed for a while.  At the end of my course of CBT I asked the nurse if it would go against me if we applied for adoption and she said it wouldn't.

I expect there are a lot of people out there with mental health disorders, in fact I think it's 1 in 4, it's just that people don't talk about it.  I think the ladies who have replied have reassured me and I do believe honesty is the best policy,  Trying to hide it would certainly cause me a lot of stress, I get a rash on my chest and neck when I'm very nervous and so it can be hard to hide.  Plus, if you tried to hide it and were found out they may wonder what else you're hiding.

Loads of luck with ttc and good luck with your anxiety / ocd.

Love Diz x


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## Greeneyed (Apr 12, 2006)

Thanks Ladies for your reassurances. 

It is good to hear that this hopefully would not be a barrier should we decide to pursue adoption. Good luck everyone with your dreams of parenthood and with managing anxiety for those who also suffer. 

Thanks again Greeneyed xx


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Hope you don't mind me butting in here - although I have not been through the adoption process I have chatted to SWs about it & mentioned my own one off bout of depression where I had 3 months off work & anti ds.

Basically IF is enough to cause the most stable of people to have anxiety!  I am sure that the SWs will be used to dealing with potential parents with varying degrees of issues & that you'll be treated with care & support - after all, there are still many children in need of a loving home.

I am adopted (since the age of 6weeks) & i have never met anyone who hoovered as much as my mum - she certainly has OCD!! The only outcome of that has been that I am quite untidy which has driven her to distraction at times!! We just laugh about it now!

Good luck!!
Love Jess xxx


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## Cheshire Cheese (Apr 19, 2005)

Hi ya, 
Thought i would add to this to.

I have suffered with depression and anxiety in the past i have been totally open an honest with our SW and have laid all the cards on the table.
To be fair i thought the SW was very good and supportive and gave us some great advice whilst my DW is recovering from a major Op in April.
I have a lot of respect for the people who do this job and i think they respect you more for being open and honest, we have all had our ups and downs in life and lets face it going through IVF treatment goes hand in hand with depression and anxiety.

Good luck and take care Cheese!!


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