# Where's my Daddy?



## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

DS1 is going through the 'overly interested in death' stage at the moment  . We had friends to stay this weekend and DS1 told them that his Daddy was dead. DS2 spent the whole weekend calling my male friend 'Dad' which I find they both often do when they hear the other kids calling them Dad. I then overheard DS1 tell DS2 that he was not their dad as their Daddy was dead! We have had a bit of a chat re nice man in hospital helped us have babies etc etc but would love to hear other's experiences or thoughts as I guess my son is getting older and will soon have more and more questions


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## welshginge (Jul 12, 2009)

Sorry I can't help but I'll be interested to read the replies! X


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I can't help with 'death' bit unless he sees it as someone who is not there perhaps like grandparents etc. Quite often children go through phases of calling people Dad etc- my friend was very embarassed when she brought her little boy to work to meet everyone he was about 2 ish and he was calling the men in the room Dad, but she said every man is 'Dad'- he did have a father at home as well! 
L x


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## Starz (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi, your DS is a little bit younger than our first one. I am pregnant again and that has caused us quite a few questions about how the seed got into mummys' tummy etc. We have used a couple of books, one was from the donor conception network and is about a lion cub and his mum who doesn't have a daddy and is quite nice. Also Molly's family is nice (from amazon), that one is about a girl who has two mums and was born through a fertility clinic.
We've never had the 'dead' conversation. We have always just told her that she doesn't have a daddy but is really lucky because she has two mummies. We have discussed about the need for a seed from a man to give to the woman and she seems to get the concept that the doctors did that bit for us.  
Our DD also went through a faze of calling other people's daddy 'daddy', but she also calls her uncle papa, as that's what her cousin calls him. She seems to have stopped doing that recently.
She's recently started school and i was expecting lots more difficult questions, but they haven't happened yet...........i think we'll try to be as honest but in simple terms as possible.
HTH


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## single.mummy (Mar 12, 2009)

Hi
I have to say that I do not have any experience yet - DD is nearly 3 1/2 and as yet has not mentioned it. She mentions that her cousin has a daddy and I then say that she has 2 mummies.
I am not sure on the death front.  DD mentioned it for the first time last week and I was shocked to hear her say it. I did not know where she has got that language from? I am putting it down to nursery - though not sure.
I am sure as long as we are honest with them we will get there. It is hard though.
J


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## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

Thanks girls
I am not too worried about the whole death thing as my niece started becoming aware of death at around age 4 too. As an adult though it just sounded really horrid hearing him say his Daddy was dead, but he was so matter of fact about it! JJ I think you are right that he is relating death to someone just not being there.


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## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

DP and I have just been away overnight and the boys stayed with Nanny and Grandad. DS1 obviously listened to our attempt at explaining about the nice man at the hospital etc, as he informed Nanny that his Daddy is "very busy in the office all day in Oxford, helping lots of ladies have babies".


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## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

This really made me laugh, brilliant!


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