# Really need some womanly advice please :-)



## Tilly44 (Mar 12, 2012)

Hello lovely ladies, I'm in a little bit of a dilemma and would love some support and advice!

A quick bit of background info...

I'm 31 and hubby 35, been TTC for nearly 3 years with severe MFI and I have slight PCOS. We had an NHS funded cycle last year which resulted in 2 failed FETs - the 2nd FET was 4 weeks ago (both good embies, survived the thaw, perfect lining, but just didn't grow and stick)...We are now facing what to do next and need to pay for whatever we decide on.

We had our follow up appointment yesterday with the consultant and he'd like us to go again but on a different protocol (to avoid OHSS again) and put hubby on more vits. Our plan was to save for a year to get the money and in the meantime live and hopefully get our health 100% (and TTC naturally, if only miracles will happen to us!  ) but now it's got me thinking to do it now rather than later and get a loan. I have a credit card with 7k available which I only discovered a few days ago when checking my account!) 

Anyhow, our doc said he'd like us to take part in a research study where they monitor the womb before treatment but would need to get on board now rather than later. He's ringing me in a week to see whether we want to take part or not.

I'm feeling 'discombobulated'   (Lol sorry this word tickles me every time!) - do we:

A) Go for treatment now and strike whilst the iron is hot and borrow £6kish and have a chance of getting the womb monitoring done. Was also thinking being part of a research study they may look after you more? Who knows? If I did take part they only randomly select 50% to have the procedure done so nothing is guaranteed

B) We could save really really hard for 3 months or so (I think 3 months is the time to get sperm in ship shape) but get a loan for the other part of the money, this way the debt isn't full on and we are not sacrificing time and getting my eggs whilst still young

C) We just save for a year or maybe less, to get the money, maybe get an extra little job, find ways to get the dosh

Friends and family are guiding me with different things - im one of these people who is quite flexible so im feeling pretty torn here! Getting a big loan makes me nervous as what if it doesn't work, we are stuck with debt. But my brother said it's the same as if you were buying anything materialistic you forget what you got the loan for in the first place, ok not quite but I get where he is coming from, he thinks why should we wait around. I guess Im swaying to option B...

Me and hubby had a mini domestic   after the appointment so haven't been in the right frame of mind to talk our options through just yet but they are swirling around my head and can't think of much else!

Sorry for the long message, hopefully some ladies may have some ideas or input at least? 

Thank you  xxx


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## Fx (Feb 28, 2012)

Hi Tilly
So sorry to hear about your failed cycles.xx
I know there is a temptation to rush straight into another cycle when one fails, just to ease the pain.  This is certainly how I always feel.
I think option b sounds like the best, it is easier to save and be healthy for 3 months as it will go quickly-I promise! I would also be very tempted by the monitoring of a research study, but like you said it is only 50/50 that you will actually be allocated to the monitoring group. Perhaps the debt won't seem so harsh if you have done a little saving up first.
Your hubby is probably stressing about the money (I know mine is) and this way you are at least giving yourselves a chance to save up some of it.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Xxxx


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## twiglet123 (Feb 11, 2012)

Oh, difficult.  I've heard others on here say the only thing worse than a BFN is a BFN with a debt you have to pay back slowly.  Having said that I think its such a positive thing to be part of IVF research that I'd jump at the chance of being involved.  It could help you find out more about your own problems whilst also making you feel good because you are helping others in the future through this research.  My last cycle was monitored by a phd study on the effects of stress in IVF cycles and although still a BFN for me, it was really nice to be monitored, I felt extra supported and relaxed through the cycle and I'm glad I did it.


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