# Desperate over 40 single.



## Zeybani (Mar 11, 2008)

I have been here for couple of weeks now reading and replied in some threads. I can ony sat i am very desperate dont know what to do. Having gone through most threads there are very few old ladies out here and evenfewer single. It has been difficult to find people to share my feelings. I am sure there out there in different threads. Being single and old my emotions and worries are somehow different than single young or old married. I need to discuss with people who can connect with my desperation. I am now at a point where i am scared to go for another IVF as was told this will be the last with own eggs. The statistics are against me but DE with donor sperm is very difficult to comprehend. Pleease anybody there who can share with me. I am at breaking point.


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  zelly  
 
Just because there are not many members your age or in your situation does not mean you are alone, 
I am sorry to read your feeling so Low, the emotions we experience on this journey are fragile and unpredictable.
I'm not sure what threads youve read or made replies in ( Ive not looked) 
but I hope that you continue to post and find a way to do another cycle with your eggs 
based on Infomation, support and knowledge from with FF.
I too have had empty follicles, and so know how devestating that feels, 
What are your hormone levels  FSH, LH and AMD if youve had it done ?
I am going to leave you some direct links to boards here on FF - that you may or may not have found, 
I would like to encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support 
from members who really do have an understanding of your situation,

Poor responders - subject to new threads
CLICK HERE

Negative cycle - 
CLICK HERE

TTC over 40 - 
CLICK HERE

Single women (subject to new threads)
CLICK HERE

Investigations & Immunology
CLICK HERE

And don't forget to have a bit of fun while you are on FF and check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area
G&B  Community Fun board
CLICK HERE

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for where you live & a site search for your *clinic* 

Wishing you Friendship  &    
 Dont forget to let us know how you get on!

If you need any help just ask! 
~Dizzi~


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## Zeybani (Mar 11, 2008)

Dizzi
Thank you, i will go through those threads and see. What i realised there is alo of information here. I know is just my feeling hopeless and helpless. I have just done my hormones profile so as to plan another cycle. When i get the results i will put them across to you. i can only remeber my FSH being high aroud 16 and came down to 4 prior to the IVF cycle. Though i cant remember the rest of hormones, everybody said they were good. I have to keep tab next time. Thank you for the encouragement.


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

This is your thread and you can update it as and when you want - I will be reading so anyquestions just yell,

Take one day at a time, and believe your turn will come, somehow, someday 

~Dizzi~
PS Tommorow night we have a special Chat hour for new members to learn the ropes in there so to speak.
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0


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## kaypea (Nov 15, 2007)

Hi Zelly
Just wanted to say   you are not alone. 
Although I may not have the exact experience of your situation, I can empathise with how you are feeling.
Sometimes IVF can seem like a medical procedure to capture a dream.
Wishing you lots of love and luck
KPxx


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## Zeybani (Mar 11, 2008)

Hi 
Dizzi- thank you again for the support i now look foward to log in. It is just hard. I dont know whether it is good to talk to other people or not. When i mentioned my intentions to some of my friends they just dismiss as somothing trivial. Why cant I just accept life the way it is. I felt very lonely and did not talk to anybody during the IVF. I dont want to mention my treatment at work as they may be prejudiced against me. At least here, i have found people who can differentiate fertility treatment and liposuction.
I have to build up enough strength to move foward. 
Kp- it is a relief to know there is somebody somewhere understanding what i am going through.


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## Saffie (Apr 22, 2008)

Hi Zelly

Decided to join FF after reading your message.

I too am over 40 and desperate.  Partner and I have been TTC for 2 years.  Went for private appointment with consultant yesterday to discuss IVF and cried all the way home!

Been told that I have a raised FSH level this is to be tested again but if still raised then IVF will not be possible.  Also having scan to check for PCOS.

Not sure what to do at this point.


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Zelly and Saffie

Zelly - just wanted to say that there are girls on the Over-40s board who are single and undergoing IVF and that some of them are using/contemplating using donor eggs (and some also with donor sperm).  Why not post on that board?  I am sure you will get alot of support and useful advice as well.  

Saffie - I remember crying all the way home from our first IVF consultation too (and it was a three- hour journey!).  It is all very daunting but as someone who finally had a baby at the age of 42 on her third IVF attempt after 9.5 long years ttc, I can say from personal experience that there is hope.  Incidentally, some clinics are fussier than others about raised FSH levels so I think it is perhaps a bit sweeping for your clinic to say that IVF would be out of the question with raised levels.  FSH is merely an indicator of how you might respond to the IVF drugs and not the be-all and end-all. FSH measurements can also vary naturally from month to month.  Also, if you look on the complementary therapies board, you will find that some people have found things like acupuncture or wheatgrass very helpful in getting their FSH down.  Again, why not come and join us on the over-40s boards?

Good luck to both of you, and hope you achieve your dream.   

Ellie


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## Zeybani (Mar 11, 2008)

Ellie- Thank you for the support. I have visited the over 40 thread found some information. The singles also is emotionally helpign for me as that part creates alot of stress. If i had a partner may be i wouldnt even think before going DE path. Being single it has taken me time even to contemplate it. I know that may be the only way but it is not an easy one.

Saffie- You are welcome, i have  shed many tears too. I visited 4 clinics and turned down for my age and being single befor any tests. Finally accepted at Lister. My FSH was raised but when i repeated just before the IVF they were normal as well as all my hormones. They are friendly and welcome older women compared to wher i have been.  When the IVF failed i had a long journey of more than 3 hours crying all the way. Coming to an empty home with no one to share the grief was the most painful of all. I too did not have much information, but now i have been going through everywhere to find how i can improve my chances. I have read about the wheatgrass as well.  I will write in length of some of he information i have come across. At the end of the day one just decides.


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## Lele (Jul 24, 2007)

Hi Zelly,

single and over 40... on my third round on the rollercoaster!!! Where are you based? There are many single goldies in my area (london) and I have met quite a few more via DCNetwork!

Fingers crossed

Lele


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## Zeybani (Mar 11, 2008)

Hi everybody

Lele- thank you for the word. I live in Devon but i actually had my last treatment in London as they dont treat single women over here!!. What stage are you now on your third round.? What is this DC network how can i get into it?
Ellie-Thank you, i have visited the over 40 board and found some old girls there. I finnaly managed to locate the singles board they are very friendly.
Kayp- Hoep you are well, which boad can i find you?
Saffie- How are you 
Dizzi- I havent dared to ask for my results. i have to admit i am so scared of knowing them. i feel if they are abnormal this could be the end of my dreams. I will gather courage and phone my GP. Thank you for the mail.


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Zelly  the fear of the unknown is often the worst 

With the results you can search, and make an informed choice on your next steps, and ask questions to get the best treatment!



Saffie said:


> Hi Zelly
> 
> Decided to join FF after reading your message.
> 
> ...


 Ellie.st was spot on with her advice to you hun, I see youve not posted again, prehaps when your feeling stronger you will 
FF can help all of us, even if its just to ask the right questions and get a balanced opinion! 
Please post again, so we can support you too 

~Dizzi~


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## Lele (Jul 24, 2007)

DCNetwork is a network of people who have been conceived/who have conceived/who are trying to conceive/etc via donation, donor sperm in my case, but also egg donation, embryo donation, or surrogacy, both in the UK and abroad. www.dcnetwork.org is the address, and all contacts are on the website. I found them very useful in a LOT of ways!!!

How often do you come to london? It would be nice to meet... and I agree with Dizzi, fear is worse than knowing. AND should the results be not what you had hoped for, it is not a life sentence, there are a lot of things that you can do to get into a better shape... but you can only do it if you know where you stand, so the sooner the better!!    

All the best

Lele

PS I am on the pill at the mo', long protocol so I will start downreg on Friday, scan on the 20th and hopefully stimming for about 16 days after that... on the road again... 
/links


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## mooer (Nov 28, 2006)

Hi Zelly,

Whereabouts in Devon are you based? I post on the SDS thread (support in south devon) - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=126157.405 - and one of our ladies Jane has just had successful treatment at Reprofit in Czech Republic and has a gorgeous little boy. She is 43 and single. I just thought I would offer you some evidence that is is happening for single over 40's!!

Amanda
x


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## madison (May 6, 2005)

Hi,

I sent you a PM yesterday.. I am on the thread Amanda just gave you & she has mentioned the
same lady I told you about  

Hope you join us 

      Katy. xxxxx


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## Zeybani (Mar 11, 2008)

Hello everybody, i am soo garteful for all the support i am getting .
Katy and Amanda - Thank you , i got your PM but didnt know how to reply you.How do I send PM. I live in Plymouth too. It will be nice to know you. Will join the Devon thread. The one i looked before were for Exeter people, i thought a bit far. I will certainly look into the Reprofit clinic as it has been mentioned in several threads.

Lele- How are you getting on? I hope all goes well, I need to hear good news.

Kaypea, Ellie, Saffie- where are you?

Dizzi- I have booked to see my doctor next week and face the music.


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Zelly  Good on you for making that appointment     
I know how daunting it is and how easy things get put off  

Ame Thaks for the PM help  

~Dizzi~


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