# Feeling angry and frustrated



## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Well I just need to get this off my chest. I'm feeling ridiculously angry at the whole world following my bfn  yesterday. I knew it hadn't worked because of no symptoms, so I thoought I would be able to handle it but I just feel like I want to smash things to pieces and scream and scream and scream.

I'm particularly angry at the nurses at my clinic. When I phoned to tell them of BFN they said I needed to carry on taking the hormones and test again in two days. I've never heard this before?? It's the first time they mentioned it to me!! They said it was because my cycle included HRT and so there's a very small chance that the HRT could disguise a positive result!! It's ridiculous! I know that I'm not pregnant and all I want to do is get drunk and stop taking these horrible pills.

I've been snapping at every unfortunate person who crossed my path. A sales person on the phone, people in work, a stupid person who put an insensitive comment on ******** (nothing even related to fertility or babies!!!)

Insult to blinking injury I walked past the chavviest looking teenager in a pink tracksuit, smoking a *** and heavily pregnant. I felt like wrestling her to the ground. How on this stupid earth is that fair? After that I walked past a bunch of drunks (I work in a rough area!!) and I thought I bet they've all got kids and what are they doing with their lives

I'm just mad, mad, mad, mad, mad. I am so sick of this life of embarrasing, intrusive tests, mood altering hormones, raised hopes and constant disappointment. While all around me people are getting pregnant by just looking at a penis.


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## taylorlisa (Sep 11, 2011)

Hi emma

well said!! i know exactly how you feel and i feel exactly the same. my dh tries to calm me down when i get on a rant like this but sometimes you just need to get it all of your chest. i had my second bfn last thursday (i started bleeding the monday before. when i called the hospital for advice i was told to keep taking the pessaries until thur then call back with my result). i have now been told that my hospital cant fit me in for a review until jan, i wanted to start again in dec and i will have had two bleeds by then. i am now in the process of trying to get my notes from the hospital so i can go private but they are sooooo busy they said this might take a while!! the cheek!

anyway hope it all works next time

lisa


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## Nordickat (Feb 6, 2009)

Emma   I´m so so sorry for you BFN. I think the pain always takes us by surprise even if we now a BFN is coming. Your post did make me smile though and I hope you feel a little better for getting it all out here? Its perfectly OK to be angry and hate the world and all those annoying happy people in it. Know that you are not alone in feeling like this though and I hope tomorrow hurts a little less.
 Katxxx


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## EmmaWaitsPatiently (Dec 4, 2010)

Lisa - it's good to know other people feel the same! sorry for your BFN  . I hope the new clinic brings you luck.

Kat - thanks   . I do feel a bit better today.

I think our next step is to take a long break. I don't know if I can go through another cycle...I certainly don't feel like I could at the moment. 

Good luck to all reading xxxx


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## happy...hippo (Oct 12, 2011)

Hi Emma

I had my BFN 6 days ago and I felt just like you do - I could kill somebody!   I treated myself to a lovely big glass of wine to dinner as well and in the last few days I was rather blunt to people.  

I know how you feel about starting again - I felt sooooo pessimistic that I thought there is no point in spending so much money and stressing for nothing (we are private).  However because I knew this anger would pass I did book a follow up consultation (next week) and counselling which my clinic offers for free. 

Today I am feeling a bit better so I think that the initial anger has started to dissapear.  My counselling is next week, I hope it will help to. 

Do not dispear.  Get angry if you fancy, get it out - but eventually it will get a bit better and you will start again - and this time we will be lucky!  

x


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## parva stella (Mar 26, 2011)

Firstly...big thanks to Emma for starting this little thread....I got my BFN in Nov...and I may well be the angriest person on earth! I thought it may have passed by now...well the anger bit of the whole affair..but it seems to be growing....If one more person tells me to be more upbeat and Christmassy  I may punch them square in the face!...I have seethed all day and evening after a work'mate' who knows my situation informed me I'd have to be more Christmassy if things worked out with my treatment! 

I could rant about it all night...but I wont bore you....BIG THANKS though for the thread!

TaylorLisa, Nordicat and Happy...hippo and of course Emma...group hug   for our bfn's...

Lets get the anger out and start planning for a bfp...

Sorry for my little rant above...babydust and luck to one and all


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