# 39 and want to try naturally - no IVF



## namastesam (Jun 26, 2014)

Hi guys, 

Tricky one.

I'm 39 and hubby is just 41. I've never been pregnant naturally. Tests tell me there's no obvious explanation though I have polycistic ovaries one side. This shouldn't prevent pregnancy, apparently. 

The problem is that I'd love for it to happen naturally (you don't say) and, as I'm due to start IVF I've realised this even more. IVF has some horrid long term effects and this worries me greatly. Hubby thinks its our only way but I want to know if there's hope? Has anyone else never fallen pregnant naturally until their 40's? 

I really want to cancel this IVF as I'm dreading it with every inch of my being


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Hi, I'm sorry to read of your difficulties so far.  It must be particularly hard when there is no obvious reason  

I had to reply because I did    We went through 3 failed IVF cycles, which I started when I was 39.  It didn't work for us, we had to start moving on due to finances and the emotional turmoil and then fell naturally pregnant for the first time ever   .  I'm 41!

I worked really hard on finding the right supplements for us both but I also think that maybe IVF wasn't for us.  Due to our circumstances, the process was particularly stressful for us and I'm just not sure whether my body coped with the invasive nature of it.  There must have been a million reasons for our final success but I do wonder whether we could have managed naturally and saved ourselves the emotional and financial heartbreak (although I have to say that I didn't think it possible at the time and I realise just how lucky we are).

I'd hate to advise you either way but if you've had your AMH and FSH tested and they don't look like it's impossible and there's no obvious hormonal or fertility issue then maybe there are natural options.    IVF isn't always the only way forward but sometimes it is the easiest and most successful in a shorter space of time.

Wishing you loads of luck in your decision xxx


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## namastesam (Jun 26, 2014)

Molly, that is just the sort of response I needed. I'd love to know more about the supplements you took. 

Thank you for your advice. I think I'd find it extremely hard work doing it the chemical way. I'd just prefer to have a natural occurence as it'd take the decision out of my hands. It's so hard when you're not craving it...


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## Victoria38 (Apr 17, 2015)

Hi mamastesam,

Just read your post and thought I would reply. I totally understand your fears of going threw ivf as I was in the same position myself and I always liked things the natural way. 

I didn't have a good experience when I tired ivf, after I took all the drugs they cancelled it due to poor response and I now know I have very low egg reserves. There would be no point in me trying ivf again after what happened.

I started ttc at the age of 39 and I manage to fall pg naturally but I sadly miscarried, heartbeat stopped at 8 weeks. I struggled to fall pg again so I went threw all the tests and I was offered ivf, if I'm being honest I was terrified but I did it anyway. I thought it was a horrid experience. I never made it to egg collection as they cancelled and reverted to iui which then failed. In a way I don't regret it because I know the situation with my ovaries and perhaps I might have to look into ED but I have fallen pg naturally 3 times but sadly I keep having mc at early stages.

I have read a lot about ivf in older women and its not always the best option as they put you on high strength drugs and its not always kind to older eggs, having said that there is a smaller percentage of ladies that do have success, its just a big gamble. 

I really don't know what to advice you for the best but if you have a good supply of eggs left it might be worth considering it, you really don't know until you try it but if not I would recommend you try acupuncture and there's a lot of helpful threads on supplements and nutrition. I take a range of stuff : Chinese herbs, Agnus Castus, Wheatgrass shots, COQ10, Omega fish oils DHEA & vitamins.

Good luck with whatever you decide if only we have a crystal ball Xx


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## namastesam (Jun 26, 2014)

Oh Victoria, thank you so much for the reply. I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you still trying now? 

I've pretty much decided it isn't for me. I'm so happy with our life at the moment (for the first time in years) and I don't want IVF to get in the way of that. I don't want it enough to put myself through that. Plus, I suffer with anxiety so I think I'd have a really rough time. 

What would you have acupuncture for? Relaxation? Less stress? xx


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## Victoria38 (Apr 17, 2015)

Hi mamastesam,

I'm not trying again just now as I'm just going threw my 3rd mc now, I'm waiting to see if it will happen naturally if not I will have to go into hospital so I'm back are fore to the toilet checking! 

I am going to have recurrent mc tests done after I pass this pg sac and take things from there. I will say its a lot of stress having all this ups & downs and it does cause a strain on relationships. I go about feeling sad most of the time and try to put on a face when my DP comes home from work, its not easy.

I've really enjoyed having acupuncture and as soon as I'm passed this I will go for more treatments. I had it for stress & fertility. I get needles in my feet, legs, lower tummy and random needle in my arm, I would strongly recommend you try it especially is you suffer anxiety. Are you just going to see if it happens naturally? 

Xx


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## beattie2 (Dec 30, 2005)

Hi there, sorry to hear of your difficulties. Its a tricky one- I have several friends who have conceived naturally with PCOS- one when she was in her 20's after being told she was likely to need IVF, the other when she was nearly 40. Unfortunately I don't really think even the docs have the answers. Have you tried clomid?  If not that might improve your chances of a natural BFP, often they recommend this for several months and if no success they advise you to move onto IVF. One thing I would suggest to help you make a decision is to ask yourself if you would have any regrets in a few years time you do not try IVF and you do not manage to get pregnant naturally. Although there are no guarantees with IVF either you would have tried everything. If the answer is yes then IVF would probably be the way to go. If it is a no then maybe talk to your doc about clomid and other ways of improving chances of natural conception. Another option might be to try traditional Chinese medicine to aid natural conception.
In terms of theIVF process itself-I have been through it a fair few times and honestly I did not find it too bad .The hardest bit for me was coming to terms with that fact that we needed  to do it and waiting for to start our  first cycle.  
Good luck in your decision making
Bx


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## Poppy41London (Apr 8, 2015)

I don't know if this helps at all, but when my husband and I were speaking to a consultant at the start of this year he said the way he saw it was that we could choose not to have treatment at all and we may well get pregnant naturally, but that given my age etc it would be a gamble and we would need to be happy to make that gamble knowing the risks if it doesn't happen. The way he put it made sense and I knew I want to do everything I can to conceive, so we decided to keep trying naturally but go ahead with treatment later this year if it doesn't happen (I also have weight to lose so couldn't start straight away). I am 41 though so it's maybe not as urgent for you. 

I think you need to trust your own instincts but also ask yourself how badly you want a baby - of course you would prefer to conceive naturally but are your negative feelings about IVF due to that or are they deeper? Maybe you could postpone IVF for the time being and give yourself a period of time to continue trying naturally, but then revisit the idea if not conceived in that time? It does sound like it might not be a good idea to go ahead whilst feeling so negative about it as your emotional and psychological state also will possibly affect the success of treatment anyway. 

If you do put treatment on hold, like I think some others have said, maybe it would be good to focus on doing other things to help with conception. I would suggest maybe seeing a fertility nutritionist who can advise on what you and your hubby should eat to increase your chances as well as advising what supplements you both should take to give yourselves the best chance.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck!!


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## Rabbit100 (Oct 26, 2010)

Namasteam

Like Victoria, I understand where you are coming from and felt the same way, I had a mix of infertility & 4 miscarriages, my journey started a little earlier than yours but there was something in me that just felt IVF wasn't right for me. I did nearly start it a couple of times but got pregnant just before both (one ended in miscarriage one resulted in my LB). My particular issue was immunes but had pretty much every test under the sun to work out what was wrong and tried clomid & iui along the way.

I would really echo what Beattie said before ruling it out altogether work what you feel comfortable with and that you can look back and say I had no regrets I did everything I needed / could do.

In your post you asked if anyone had success naturally up to 40. I got pregnant with my son at 39 & at the age of 41 am pregnant again (this one is still early days so no idea yet if it works out). Guven my immune issues for both pregnancies I have been on a mirad of meds but in order to get pregnant here are some things that I think helped me:

- supplements - there's a great post on one of the boards http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=226042.0
It's quite a long list I didn't want to rattle so took pregancare; cq10; evening primrose oil first half of month only; and royal jelly.

- using clear blue fertility monitor rather than just ovulation sticks ( this tells you your most fertile few days rather than just the day you ovulated, so gives you a wider window of opportunity and marginally less pressure). They aren't cheap but much less expensive than ivf.

- reflexology, I did try acupuncture for a couple of years, it works for lots of people and I can see Its good for Victoria, but just wasn't for me, I don't think I really relaxed with the needles plus never got a bfp with it. So moved on to reflexology after my 2nd miscarriage and found that really helped.

- finally relaxation CDs / downloads I tried a few, this is the one that I used to get pregnant with my son & again for this pregnancy 
http://www.circlebloom.com/get-started/wanting-to-conceive-programs/

Wishing you lots of luck and hope that you work through what the best course of action is for you
Take care
Rx

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## mrswoofy (Aug 5, 2013)

Hi. Just to say I had my first pregnancy at 41 and then again at 42 this time resulting in a healthy baby boy when I was 43. I allowed myself to get really scared when we didn't fall pregnant immediately. We were at the Argc twice when we got pregnant naturally both times. The second time Argc was treating us for immunes and I did fall pregnant after taking humira but to be honest we were trying everything going so there were loads of people who could claim credit. I would suggest looking into Duofertility as it really helps pinpoint the correct time. They gave us a money back guarantee if not pregnant within a year which I found really comforting. There's also a book called Trying to get pregnant and succeeding by Marisa Peer which really helped me and I did get pregnant with DS the month I read it...

Good luck! Remember the pregnancy age stats are based on 18th century France. Women our age are the second most likely group to have unplanned pregnancies so don't let the doom Sayers scare you. Hopefully you will get pregnant the fun way too!


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## Highland (Jun 17, 2013)

Hi, I got pregnant at age 42 following acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine, so it can work. However I'd also echo the person who wrote you have to be comfortable with your decision, if in say 5 years time you've not conceived and by then most UK clinics will in my experience say you need to try donor egg if you want to become pregnant age 45+. There is an acupuncturist called Michael McIntyre ( not the comedian of the same name!) who I didn't use myself ( too far away) but highly respected in his field, you might want to check him out. Best of luck in your journey.


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