# 2nd IVF failure. What are we doing wrong?



## Shell80 (Oct 6, 2012)

Hi  

I'm not used to posting on these forums but am feeling very low at the moment and I'm in real  need of advice and support from others in the same boat as us.

I'll start with a brief rundown of our story so far.... My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 5 years now. I'm 33 and have been diagnosed with low AMH, poor ovarian reserve and my husband 32 has a very low sperm count with low morphology. We was referred for ICSI and underwent our first round in January this year. I was put on high stims with a short protocol as they didn't think my response would be good. I responded better than expected and 5 eggs were collected and fertilized. We was over the moon. 1x grade 1 (4 cell) and 1x grade 1/2 (4 cell) embryo was transferred on day 2, the other 3 embryo's didn't progress past the 2 cell stage so unfortunately we had none to freeze. That cycle was unsuccessful   

As we had responded well the first time round our consultant decided to start round 2 using exactly the same protocol as last time, alongside treatment this time I was having reflexology and acupuncture to help. The treatment seemed to be a lot easier and less stressful second time around and we had 6 eggs collected (5 mature 1 immature) all 5 fertilized and we had 2x grade 1 (4 cell) embryo's transferred on day 2 and this time they managed to freeze a grade 1 (4 cell) and a grade 1/2 (4 cell) embryo for a further go. Again we was very happy with our result, until yesterday, we got another negative result  

I am very upset and my husband is very frustrated and confused by it all, we cant seem to understand when 4 perfect embryo's have been transferred, why do they not want to stick? We follow all the advice given, no alcohol, no strenuous exercise, no stress, healthy foods, lots of water and this time I was also trying alternative therapies to help to. 

We have an appt with our consultant to discuss our frozen embryo's on the 5th July but cant help but feel very negative about it all, why is this 3rd round going to be any different? every time we have been upbeat and positive and every time we get knocked back.

I know we will probably never get answers to our question as to why? as  I guess that is just mother natures way, but I'm hoping to chat to someone who understands how we are feeling and maybe offer us some support or positive stories to help lift our spirits.

They say "All things in life happen for a reason" but we are struggling really hard at the moment trying to work out exactly what " that reason" is meant to be??


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## Claire86 (Jan 23, 2013)

Hi Shell, 
I felt so sad ready your post. I wanted to respond. 
I am in a similar position although a couple of years younger and neither my husband or I have any fertility issues. We have had 2 failed cycles of IVF, both with 5 day transfers. We have 2 frozen blasts and are seeing the consultant on the 4th July. I too have tried both acupuncture and reflexology so I think we are on a similar page. 
I really want for you not too feel down, I know its terribly hard and I bet all you see are pregnant women and all your friends are pregnant. 
All you can do at this moment, is keep yourself strong and healthy, and make a note of all the questions and queries you have for your DR when you see him in July. 
So many of us dont have "a reason" as to why our bodies dont accept an embryo, but I always hear more happy endings then sad ones. Some of us just have a harder and longer road to go down then others. 
It's so frustrating, but enjoy your husband and plan your future without children. Think of a holiday you would like to do or something you have always wanted to do. I think having goals outside of this horrible nightmare really helps focus you on something else.
I feel for you, really do and I know exactly how you feel.
XXXXX


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## Shell80 (Oct 6, 2012)

Hi Claire,

Thank you so much for your reply. I can't tell you how nice it is to hear from someone who knows exactly how we are feeling.

Today is a better day for us than yesterday. We had our failure, it was very sad but we are going to put that behind us now and we are trying to move on. The Dr never expected us to get good enough quality embryo's to freeze, but on the second round we managed to do just that, maybe that happened for a reason, maybe just maybe this will be OUR third time lucky, Hopefully for you too  

If anything good has come out of this journey it's that its strengthened my relationship with my husband. I hope you have a very strong support network around you too as we've found that so important.  

I will keep everything crossed for you,  

"What doesn't break us, make us stronger" Well if that's the case then we are obviously very tough incredible women. xxxxxxxx


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## rory2011 (May 31, 2011)

HI Shelle

Have a look at shellebelle's hints and qu's to ask after a failure, it's at the top of the this section. It may help, sadly lots of us do not get a bfp after several cycles, and it maybe worthwhile asking some questions at your review.

Hopefully your next cycle will end in a bfp, good luck xx


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## Claire86 (Jan 23, 2013)

I'm glad you are feeling happier today. Time is a great healer isn't it.
If we can take something positive from every experience, we will be fine. I wish you the very best of luck. XX


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