# IVF after adoption



## wannabetp (Aug 30, 2008)

hi

im new to site just introduced myself on intros.  Hubby and I already have a son who we adopted nearly 2 years ago and love dearly. 
We have enquired about adopting agian and ss have said great they can start our assesment when next space available if we are ready.

The problem is I still want a baby I want to feel the whole pregnanacy thing I want a bump to admire and I want to breat feed all those things that birth mums do.

Hubby has said we can look at IVF again we didn't do it last time as the need for a child was greater then the need to be pregnant but I really want to give it ago. 

My fears are the effect it could have on son we love him so much and that will never change in fact I can't imagine loving anyone more but in later years could this rock his boat.

Has anyone else had fertiltity treatment after adopting?
I would really like to hear from you if u have 

thanks 

wannabe


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## Guest (Aug 31, 2008)

If you have regrets about not completing your fertility journey, then I would be inclined give it a go.  

What are your concerns about the impact on your LO?  A couple of thoughts that might help..
There are several instances of adoptive parents conceiving naturally and having later birth children and if you were successful, what would be so different?
The treatment is fairly intrusive, but manageable and again many people who do IVF already have children.  
If its not successful you could always adopt a second at a later date.  

We considered forgoing IVF and moving to adopt our three sooner - in the end we did one cycle and when before moving to adopt as we felt we needed to close that door first.  

I hope you can make the right decision for you and your family

Bop


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

Really difficult to say. I think that your LO would probably be excited about having a brother or sister, and at 2 they won't yet understand about where babies come from etc. As they grow older it will just be a fact that they are your children and brother/sister but had a different journey into the world and the family. So long as they are treated the same, which they would be, there should be no problem. My friend was adopted at 6 weeks and her mum soon became pregnant naturally. My friend never talked about regret, jealously or feeling different from her sister. The only thing she ever said was that her grandma treated her sister as a grandchild and ignored my friend. This must be very rare though.

Good luck.

Kay xxx


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## daisyboo (Apr 5, 2005)

Hi there i have thought this too  like you our need for a child is greatert than a pregnancy but we did have ICSI as i felt i needed to exhaust all possibilities i couldn't face ICSI again,but not to say we wouldn't in a few years so we are adopting,
When i was on my prep course we had a a man who had adopted a child of 5 they were childless not through IF just choice, then after the adoption his wife fell pregnant i asked how did the child take the news as that could be a situation we may face in the future, he said that they were facing the dilema of having to tell him about the baby but one night he got out of bed and walked into his parents bedroom and found daddy talking to mummys belly and asked daddy what he was doing, so they totally embraced the situation and involed him from that day talking to mummys tummy at the breakfast table/cuddles/bedtime etc what i got from this (i'm waffling) is as long as they are stable and you involve them as much as possible everything will be fine 
Good Luck
Love Daisy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Spaykay (Nov 29, 2006)

I guess kids are kids and any child will have good and bad reactions to a pregnancy. Treating the situation as a natural process as you would with a birth child of your own. 

Kay xxx


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## wannabetp (Aug 30, 2008)

Thanks all for your suport it's difficult decision to make so not going to rush in to anything. DS is desperate for a brother and sister so I don't think he will mind what route we choose as long as we still love himand we always will.

Good luck on your own journeys. Adoption isn't easy but when the match is right it's worth it and you forget about the waiting for a child it feels as though they belong and have alwats been part of you.


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