# Has anyone used this place for a donor?



## tillie (Apr 9, 2005)

Hi, Im all over the place at the moment in what I should do.

I am a straight single 40 year old woman who is desperate to be a mum. My partner left me in August and we were half way through treatment at my local NHS fertility clinic. In May they found I had 4 lots of Endo and blasted it away and gave us 6 months to conceive naturally. They said if this didnt happen they would consider fertility drugs and poss IVF. I am devastated that he has left me and devasted at losing this chance with the hospital but have been carrying on with my appointments at the hospital. I had follicle tracking last month but didnt ovulate, I feel I didnt due to all of the stress since him leaving. Being single I know they will not carry on treating me so I have to look at other options. Funds are tight so DIVF and DICI even going abroad arnt really an option. I have been looking on the net for sperm donors and have come across this site http://www.sperm-donors-worldwide.com/
I wish I knew someone I could trust but I dont so feel this maybe my only option. Have any of you used this site or do you know of any other donor sites? I know going through a clinic would be more ideal but just wondered on this option.

Any advice greatly appreciated.


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## Twinmummy (Jul 17, 2008)

Hi Tillie,

Sorry to hear about your split with your Parnter, it must be a sad time for you considering all your were going through. I have never heard of this website before but would be quite cautious and do your research before you use it. I would be concernced about the screening of the sperm (ie if atal) what information you would get and if its correct. 

I dont know how you feel about egg sharing, but If funds are a problem you could consider doing IVF with egg share and you wouldnt have to pay for the IVF. You would still have to pay for donor sperm etc but the cost would be knowhere near what it would have been. We used the London womens clinic in harley street and really think highly of them. Very professional and i believe they accept single women.


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## tillie (Apr 9, 2005)

You are just given the list of donors and you arrange between you screening etc.  Basically they just give info of guys that are willing to be donors.

Egg sharing?  I have never heard of that....thanks I will look into it, do you have any links I can check info on please?


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

does your clinic have a website you could check? we were with CARE, you could look on there to get a general idea...

_click here_

they have a cut-off age of 36 for their egg share program. i think most clinics do but it might be worth looking at...


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## snagglepat (Sep 13, 2004)

Hi Tillie,

We didn't use that site for a sperm donor but I know several couples who did and at least one of them posts on here sometimes. I've yet to hear a negative story from experiences of people there - but as you say, all the site does is provide the initial introduction. The rest is up to you.

We used a different site, the parenting forum on rainbow network and I think we got very lucky to have just chanced upon one of the few decent guys who used that site. Our donor was fantastic. He already had some kids of his own and had donated to a couple of others who were by then pregnant so we knew he was fertile, and he had all the STI tests every three months and showed us the results. He stuck with us for over two years of trying, always getting to us on the appropriate day even if he had to come after a late shift at work and didn't get to us until nearly midnight (he lived two hours drive away and volunteered to do all the driving). He didn't even accept money for his petrol. Since we had Ember we've been in email contact every couple of months, as we agreed, and we've met up for lunch twice. This is the level of contact we agreed and he's stuck to it absolutely. He'll donate to us for a sibling in the future if we want to as well. 

I do feel we got lucky to get such a decent donor because there are horror stories out there. I've yet to meet anyone in person who has had a bad experience of using a known donor though.

If you've any further questions do feel free to ask away. With luck some of the other known donor users will pop up to chat to you as well.

Best wishes,

Gina. x


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## tillie (Apr 9, 2005)

Hi, thankyou so much for yo replys.  Its very difficult to decide at the moment as as I said in my post my partner only left me 8 weeks ago and we were half way through ferility treatment,so Im a bitof an emotional wreck at the moment..  Part of me is saying hold on just incase he comes back but on the other hand he has made it pretty clear this wont be happening.  I havent told the fertilty unit where we are that he has left and had tracking last month to make sure I was ovulating which I wasnt.  I am putting this down to the stress and upset of him leaving as I was fine before he left.  As Im 40 and have endo which has been removed for now I feel I really have to get a wriggle on and accept the fact that maybe this wont happen with anyone as a couple and I will have to go it alone. Its a really scary thought but Im worried if I dont take this chance when my fertility ends I will regret it.  

Gina You have been so lucky to find such a lovely donor and Im so worried that I may not be as lucky.  I dont know which way to turn at the moment, whether to use a donor site or maybe ask friends if they know of anyone.  Also I fear that being single with no family/friends to help me out if I would manage. Being single a part of me would love to have a donor that takes an active role but another part of me would prefer very little contact, maybe like you have...emails and the odd meet.  Could you let me know the site you went through as I cant seem to find it.  Did you draw up an agreement with your donor Gina.

Many thanks.


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## snagglepat (Sep 13, 2004)

Hi Tillia,

I just sent you a PM then I saw this.  Here's the forum I mentioned: http://www.rainbownetwork.com/UserPortal/Forum/TopicList.aspx?BoardID=202

We did have a contract with our donor - he provided it. It was one he'd used with a previous couple who'd had a lawyer draw it up. I no longer have the original I'm afraid. However, NatGamble on this forum would be able to help you draw up an agreement with a donor I'm sure - she's the legal whiz. 

Best wishes,

Gina. x


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## lucky2010 (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi,

We used that site and have been very successful. I have nothing negative to say about it, but as Gina says it is only the initial information provided, we did the rest ourselves. The site moderator Emma is lovely too.

Good luck x x x


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## Danni68 (Nov 20, 2008)

Hi
Before our Dr referred us to the London Women's Clinic due to my fertility issues we were inseminating at home and found our donor thru sperm donors worldwide site.  my advice would be to set up a hotmail account and buy yourself a cheap pay and you go sim so as no to give out any personal contact details until you are absolutely sure.  we had a few odd balls and such but did find a good number of guys who were quite genuine about wanting to help.  the guy we settled on is in west Sussex but travel to surrey for us and only wanted traveling expenses.  we felt comfortable with him coming to the house so did it this way. in the past we have used a hotel so as not to have them know where we lived.  the site is a good intro but make sure you do some research on the guys.

Also the London Womens clinic offers both a discounted 3 cycle package for IVF and an egg sharing program.

Good Luck
Danni


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