# reactions of others ??



## stevie3 (Apr 13, 2007)

Hi there 


I know Im old enough now that it shouldnt matter!.... but how are the over 40's and particularly over 50's finding the opinions of others?  Im worried that Im too old now to try for number 2 .... although number 1 is desperate for a sibling.  I got a lot of grief fm family when I had my daughter at 40 .... and it made me wonder whether everyone around was just too polite to say what they really thought??  I know it shouldnt matter.... but Id hate to put a child through needless playground comments if I am really too old??


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## Poppy41London (Apr 8, 2015)

Do you feel like you really want a second child or are you mainly considering doing it for the child you already have? People will have their views but that's all they are, views. It's your life and you need to live it  in the way that is right for you. Personally I wouldn't go ahead unless it's something you really and truly want. If you are satisfied with one child, which in itself is something you are very lucky to have, then I would stick with that and your child will learn to accept it over time. But if you truly desire a second child and you are healthy and don't feel old, then I would go for it. Trust your own instincts and do what feels right.


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## fififi (Mar 16, 2011)

Due to years of treatment & MC my first DD was born when I was 38 and second didn't arrive until I was 45. I certainly don't feel as old as I sound. Majority of mummy friends much younger but it really doesn't effect things as all we talk about are our babies anyway.
No one said or given me the impression they think I'm too old. Only slight thing is people of similar age who are coo-ing over my baby then saying things like "if only I was 10 years younger I'd have another". But in no way do they make me feel like I'm too old I only sense they feel THEY couldn't cope.
Things definitely tougher this time compared with when I was 38 but that may be normal for anyone having a second child and changing family dynamic.

I would love to have had 3/4 children and it's been a huge part of me for as long as I can remember. Guess even if everyone around me thought I was "too old" I'd have done it anyway and right now I'm so pleased I did. Just little sad that this time really is the ending.


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## Moragob (Apr 1, 2012)

My first daughter was born when I was 46 & I was ridiculously self conscious about my age, not helped by a few (& only a few) people asking me if she was my granddaughter    they were more embarrassed than me when I said no.  It soon passed though & I really don't think twice about it now.  I also have an 11 week old daughter born when I was 49 & the age subject just hasn't been raised. 

It is tougher with a baby this time but it's probably a combination of 2 children & old age    I'm feeling the sleep deprivation more but that's because my 3yo wakes at 5.30/6 am so I am actually getting  essential sleep this time.  

I live in a small town & feel really well supported - so many other mums (many of whom I'm only on nodding/smiling terms with at the park) have gone out of their way to congratulate me and ask about my 2nd so I really don't think it will be an issue for us.  When my firm was born I did make a big effort to go to local baby groups & become acquainted with as many mums as possible to avoid being the object of gossip & it seems to gave worked.  I also regularly invite other children to play at our house so we have formed a good group of friends.

Good luck.


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