# Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!



## jassy (Aug 30, 2006)

Hi Girls,

I am a new poster here and also new to the idea of surrogacy and wondered if I could ask you a few questions.

After many years of infertility, and numerous failures with donor eggs we are now thinking about using a surrogate (straight). However, I am a little confused as to all the legalities. We are fortunate in having found a wonderful person who is willing to be a surrogate for us and I wanted to know what the procedure was if we do not use an agency. Is it similar to adoption where you have to be approved before starting and have to have home studies etc. I have read the info on surrogacyuk website and COTS but they don't exactly give much information away unless you join. They mention a parental order which needs to be completed once the baby is born but I cannot believe that this is all that is required. Is it necessary to involve a solicitor?, do medicals need to be done etc. etc?

I hope you don't mind me asking you these questions and thank you for any advice given.


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## leo (Mar 7, 2005)

Hello Jassy.
I will try and help if i can. Firstly you do not need to go through a  agency, but they are good in that they can help and support you all the way, emotionally and legally, there are solicitors who are in the know about the Law's of surrogacy, ie the parental order.
You have to be married to receive a parental order. There are no  home studies to be done  up front and no need for social workers to be involved. You just need to be certain this is the route you want to go down and be prepared for it not to work first time. If you want to go ahead then go for it. When your friend is pregnant and i hope she does for you, just make sure the hospital no about the arrangement, if she is not married when you go to register the birth then your husband can go on the certificate, don't worry if she is married it means his name goes on the certificate. When the baby is 6 weeks old you can go to your local court and apply for a parental order, filling in forms, the court will then appoint a legal guardian who has the best interset of the baby. She is the one who will vist you ,your husband and baby to see how you are getting on and why you went through surrogacy to have a child how you went about the arrangement if any money passed hands for expensive as this is OK.
They then vist the surrogate mother to see if she is happy about the parental order sometimes the courts may ask for a DNA of the baby just to make sure that one of you are Genetically linked to the child,    as this is required for the order. This may take a few months together all the info, then if you are all happy you go before the court and the judge will decide weather to grant you the order if he does and i have never heard of them not doing so unless things are not right within the arrangement, they will then give you both the legal rights of mother and father and take all the legal rights away from the birth mother and you can then get a new birth  certificate showing you as the parents.
This is very basic and i hope some else can put things in better order and explain better than me.
All the best with your Journey and do come back and ask Questions again if you need more help, I have probably confused you even more. Take Care Lynne.xx


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## Jaq (Sep 23, 2003)

Hi Jassy
I think Lynne has covered the legalities pretty well there. I would just like to add that it is a good idea for you all to have some tests done before you start (HIV, hepatitis B&C, syphilis, gonorrhoea, chlamydia and maybe cystic fibrosis) just to give you all peace of mind. 
Also you should draw up a written agreement - this is not legally binding but it is good to discuss things such as how many attempts are you happy with, how much contact between yourselves you would like, who should attend scans and midwife appointments, what the plan is at the birth (ie who will be in the room with your friend, baby should be handed directly to you but your friend may want a little private time with baby a bit later on), what your views are on testing for Downs, etc. and what you would choose to do if the tests reveal a high risk of abnormality, and expenses payable,how much, when and how. If (as I hope it does for you   ) all runs smoothly, you will manage fine without the help of an organisation, but if things don't go according to plan, it is good to have someone else you can turn to for support and advice and to mediate if necessary.
Finally you will need to update (or make!) wills to cover your new child and ensure your surrogate gets any expenses due should anything happen to you, name guardians, etc.. And take out life insurance for her if she does not already have sufficient.

Good luck, and hope you will soon be on your way to holding your precious little one in your arms 

Love Jaq


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## jassy (Aug 30, 2006)

Lynne and Jaq,

Thank you both so much for you replies, it has certainly helped enormously. I am actually quite surprised and delighted that using a surrogate is not so difficult as adoption. My husband and I have also looked into adoption but there seems to be so much involved before you can be accepted, the social workers, home studies etc. I was told we were looking at 2-3 years to complete everything, which to us seems like an eternity, we desperately want a baby as soon as possible. As I said in my post I have a wonderful friend who has offered to be a straight surrogate for us and we know her extremely well which is why we are thinking of going this alone. We will obviously instruct a solicitor to get us through the legalities, but is there anything that the courts insist on, that you know of,  from either party whilst doing the parental order e.g. police checks, medical checks etc. I know it is obviously in our best interests to have this done anyway, but as she is a life long friend I am sure that this will not be a problem for us. I just want to make sure I have an idea of what we need to cover.

Again thanks for your help and a huge congratulations to Jaq for your forthcoming bundle of joy at Xmas.


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## leo (Mar 7, 2005)

I think it is best to get the police checks done on yourselfs, as this show's the courts that you have nothing to hide. They may do them any way but not sure. As for medical i think the checks on STD's is enough.
All the best and go for it.
Take Care Lynne.xx


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## crownmum (Jul 18, 2004)

Hi Jassy

How wonderful that your friend has offered to be your surrogate.

It is a very simple process to apply for a Parental Order. It is quite rare for people to use a solicitor as it can be quite costly and is not necessary. If you look on the COTS or Surrogacy UK web-sites you will find links to the applications forms. As you will see the application forms are easy to complete.

Good luck.

Jayne


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## carrie3479 (Nov 30, 2005)

im so glad I have spotted this, I have actually just posted a pretty similar question!!
I have also looked into adoption but the wait seems so long, also (it might sound selfish but it isnt meant to) I would love to have a "newborn" not only due to bonding etc, but my DH is step father to my 2 children and thus has never experienced the "full" baby thing. cant word it very well, sounds awful of me  

I have alos looked into fostering but I honestly couldnt bring myself to "giving back" a child i have grown so attatched to, its bad enough when my god daughter has to go home after a day with me! 

I dod notice on one website that if the surrogate mother is married her husband can write a leter stating that he doesnt want his name onthe certificate etc, but then I suppose as a new one is issued it doesnt really matter. Although does this depend on whether you are straight or host surrogate??

corrina the easily confused!


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## Guest (Oct 10, 2006)

Applying for a Parental Order is simple. A solicitor isn't needed.

To be granted a Parental Order the intended parents must be: 
1. Over 18 
2. Married to one another 
3. Domiciled in the UK 
4. At least one of the applicants must be genetically related to the child 

The intended parents can apply for a Parental Order once the child has reached 6 weeks old, but must apply before the child reaches 6 months of age. 

Under English law the PO form that the intended parents need is called an "Application for Parental Order C51 form" This would be handed in to the Family Proceedings Court. 

Under Scottish law the Parental Order form the intended parents need is under "Child and Maintenance Rule 1997 Form 22" This would be handed in to the Sheriff Court. 

The child must already be living with the couple and consent obtained from the surrogate and the child’s legal father. The surrogacy arrangement must have been implemented. No money or other benefit (other than for expenses reasonably incurred) must be paid to the surrogate unless authorised by the court. 

Once the forms have been handed in to the court a date will be given for the intended parents to appear. This will be to assign a Parental Order Reporter( previously called Guardian Ad Litem) to the case and to ask him or her how long will be required for making the report. The court will be then adjourned till this date. 

The Parental Order Reporter’s job when appointed by the court will be to enquire as to whether the requirements set out in Section 30 of the HFEA 1990 have been complied with and whether there is any reason why a parental order should not be made in light of the welfare of the child principle set out in the Adoption Act, as modified by the Parental Orders Regulations. 

The Parental Order Reporter will visit the intended parents and surrogate mother in their own homes. She will ask many questions regarding the surrogacy to make sure everyone entered into the agreement of their own free will. She will make sure that nothing untoward happened before, during or after the arrangement e.g. any large amounts of money changing hands. She will then ask the surrogate mother and her husband (if he is named on the birth certificate) to sign a form of acknowledgement C52 saying they give consent to the Parental Order . 

On some occasions the court may ask for a DNA test to prove the parentage of the child. Since one of the requirements to gain a Parental Order is for the intended parents to be genetically linked to the child, they are within their rights to request this. Although it doesn't happen very often but you really need to know that this can happen. 

The Parental Order Reporter will then submit her report to the court and it is up to them to decide whether it is granted or not. Their function is to determine what is in the best interest of the child. 

Once the Parental Order has been approved, the intended parents will then under English law receive a new birth certificate, stating the intended parents are the legal mother and father of the child. 

In Scotland the intended parents will receive an extract of the parental order which does look very similar to a birth certificate but has the words Extract of the Parental Order in the top left hand corner. 

The last guardian I had told me that anything up to 12K was seen as reasonable. She will then submit her report and a hearing date will be set whereby, usually the couple and child will attend, the surrogate doesn’t usually have to attend. Once a PO has been granted the child will be issued with a new birth certificate with the IP’s names on as ‘mother & father’. 

My first IM was kind enough to type this up for anyone who is worried about doing a PO. 

To apply for a parental order under section 30 of the Human Fertilisation & Embryo Act, you have to be 
* a married couple and; 

• At least one of the couple must have contributed genetically to the child; and 

• The child must be resident with the couple; and 

• There must be no payment involved except reasonable expenses allowed by the court; and 

• The surrogate mother and her husband (if any) must have agreed unconditionally to the parental order. 

Contact your local magistrates court and ask for the family court, even though our case was heard at **********the ***** family court is actually in ******* so all paperwork had to go through them first. 

You then need to complete form C51(M) which the family court will send you. 

Documents to send to the court: 

• Completed Application for Parental Order form C51(M) 
• Statement of Fact 
• Expenses paid to surrogate 
• Original Marriage Certificate 
• Original Birth Certificate for Baby 

The court will then allocate a court officer/Guardian whose role is to speak on behalf of the child, Her job is to get consent forms signed from both the surrogate and couple and she then writes a report for the court so the magistrates can read the story before hand rather then having to go through it all in court. 

She is primarily there to report that the surrogacy arrangement is in the Childs best interest and she will do local authority checks to make sure there is no history of child abuse.


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