# Heartbroken



## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

We have had to make the extremely diffucult and heartbreaking decision not to proceed with the link with our little girl   we were due to go to matching panel mid September as more issues had come to light with lo which requires additional reports and assessments. 
We met the medical adviser and foster carer last week and then yesterday we met with our SW and our sw's manager and made the decision. 
So much has come to light  in last few weeks that means that lo hasn't more high level needs and behaviours than we knew of, some of these were violence towards children and animals and with a dog ourselves and dogs and children in our support network we felt that this in addition to violence towards us and lots of other difficulties for her meant that she was not right for us. 
Feel so heartbroken, we had decorated the bedroom for her although had not bought furniture and had already started to believe that this was going to work out. 
This is the second link for us to fall through, the first lo is still not available for adoption anymore as he requires further support/therapy before they can consider that.
Our SW manager has told us to take a couple of weeks to grieve the loss of this lo and then they will contact us to see if we are ready to consider looking at other profiles but it is a VA and they have already warned us that they don't have any children at present


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Massive  hugs hun it's  so hard  to  deal  with.  But I am  100% sure  that  you  have  made the right  decision  a lot of the things you  mentioned  are real warning  signs such as the  violence  to animals.  Xxx


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

Im really sorry to hear this but you have to make the right decision for you.

Sending lots of love

LIH x


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

Primmer, so so sorry lovely.  It's heartbreaking.  
You have to trust your instincts.  This is for life and it needs to be right for the little ones and yourselves.  You know yourselves best of all.
you will get to the end of this difficult path and start your new journey, hang in their.  You have come through so much x don't beat yourselves up.  Take care of yourselves xx


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

So sorry Primmer. Big hugs xxx


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

xxx


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## ciacox (May 31, 2013)

So sorry to hear this. Sending hugs xxxxx


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## Tw1nk82 (Dec 5, 2012)

So sorry Primmer xxxx


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Oh I'm so sorry, you've been through too much now   I'm so hoping all the heartache finally makes sense when you find your child


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## Lous mummy (Jun 16, 2014)

Hi Primmer,

I am really sorry to hear this, I know exactly how you feel, I am in a very similar situation, my link has fallen through and I was also due to go to matching panel in September, I can't decide wether I am mostly angry or sad, there was some changes that came to light at the beginning of the week and it meant there is now another family that needs to be considered, I am angry because I phoned the SW after thinking I hadn't heard from her in a few days, that was when I was told, they had known for a week and not contacted me to let me know, meanwhile my friends threw me a surprise baby shower.


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## Ozzycat (Mar 18, 2013)

Oh Primer and Lous mummy I'm so sorry xx
Sending you both massive hugs xxx


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## Kylie47 (Mar 28, 2013)

Really sorry to hear that Primmer and Lous Mummy   xx


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## Primmer (May 1, 2012)

Lous Mummy - so sorry for what you are going through, sounds awful for you. 

Thank you for all your messages, it really helps to know others understand. I know it's still early days but I am really struggling, I am not sleeping, keeping bursting into tears, finding it difficult to get the energy to do anything, just getting up and getting to work is a struggle. Just feels so unfair when everyone from our preparation course have had their children months and are discussing meeting up and how they are all getting on and we have had two links fall through, this time so close to matching panel that we really had got our hopes up.


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## Paulapumpkin (Apr 22, 2006)

Just read your post, I'm so sorry. Sending you big hugs xxx


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