# Woman of 42 suing trust as forced 2 use donor eggs



## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Did anyone see 2days daily mail bout the 42 year old woman who is suing her trust that she was waiting 6 yrs 4 ivf treatment and had 2 then use de.she said she felt like a incubator in this pregnancy thru de and really wanted her own genetia child.it quite sad as feel she should hav had counsellin 2 come 2 terms with donor treatment as i am doing.how will the child feel in future if it finds out it considered 2nd best.berniex


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

here is the story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1049522/IVF-wife-sues-delays-use-donor-eggs.html

/links


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## muminthemaking (Jan 10, 2008)

I don't know what to say, I want to get angry, laugh, cry, and console, all at once! 
The real tragedy here is this baby who if ever gets to find out about this article will no doubt feel second best to babies that 'might' have been. I understand Mrs Mason was disappointed when she found out her eggs were no longer of a good enough quality to use in IVf and that is why when undertaing such procedures there is counselling services, she needed time to grieve for the babies that weren't meant to be before moving onto DE. 
However we live in such a blame culture today where anything that doesn't fit in with our requirements leads to seeking compensation that I just want to give her a good shake and say "hello, you need to start taking some responsibility yourself lady, you owed it to yourself to be aware of your fertility and to be aware of tests that could/should have been being done"
I know its easy to do as the consultant says, you sit there waiting for your turn to reach the top of the list, the doc is the expert right.... well yes but still how many of the people on ff will find out as much information as they possibly can and do what they can do increase their chances.... I don't know I guess I'm the one whose disappointed, I desperately would love to be in her position, expecting a baby that belongs to me and my husband, I just don't get some people.
And to top it off this article has given ammunition to all those people who believe that infertility treatment should be self-funded anyway, especially if they have any success in court and more money is deprived from the nhs


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Agree with u kerry and she giving birth next week.this is the 2nd article in a few weeks givin a 2nd rate opinion of donor treatment.why didnt she pay 4 treatment earlier if she was so concerned bout having her genetic child berniex


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## Nicola-Kate (Apr 22, 2008)

Hi girls,

I have no sympathy for this woman ATM. 
Yes its sad that she couldn't use her own eggs, however she is now expecting I feel that she is very lucky, having spoken to some on this site they cant have children at all there only option is adoption etc.
I'm sure the lady knew when donor eggs where used this genetically was not going to be her child and i am pretty sure the clinic she has used would have explained things to her.
For this article to be written about her i think it is a big kick in the teeth for all us ladies who are trying to have children. 
To be honest for me yes i would like to carry my own child, but if god has not chosen that road for me or a  i am unable to use my own eggs I will adopt and that child will be loved no differently.
This has wound me up so much i feel like she is so ungrateful yet she has got the best gift in the whole world.


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Daily Mail again is it? Good old Daily Mail - you can rely on them to inflict their own anti-IVF bias on everything. 



Be Lucky said:


> Agree with u kerry and she giving birth next week.this is the 2nd article in a few weeks givin a 2nd rate opinion of donor treatment.why didnt she pay 4 treatment earlier if she was so concerned bout having her genetic child berniex


You could argue, why should she have had to pay for treatment when both NICE guidelines state she should have been entitiled to it funded and she did, actually, qualify. 
Not all of us have the luxury of hindsight or have the tools at our disposal to "do our homework" on our own fertilty so to speak. Face it, there's virtually no education out there waking women up to the timebomb that, no we don't have forever to start familes actually so why should she have known it would be an issue. Although, patience of a saint to wait that long if you ask me! It's only when you start having difficulties that you - if you are lucky enouh to find a place like FF - find out that you don't have forever. In my view her consultants etc. who are responsibel and _do_ have the expertise on fertility should have been aware, should have monitored it and should have raised the alarm bells before it was too late.

You know I think a part of me is "Go girl!" becuase it is ridiculous that some NHS funding criteria actually makes you wait until you are past what is widely regarded as the peak of your fertility before they will even put you on a waiting list and even more ridiculous that someone shoudl spend so long faffing around waiting that it causes them to miss their oportunity for her to have her own genetic child. It would be interesting to see this go to court and to see if she wins because, if she does then I think it might just make a lot of NHS trusts rethink either their waiting lists or their selection criteria, although that might not necessarily be to the benefit of patients. 
However it is sad that she has not been able to feel the joy she should during her pregnancy because of the resentment that she was forced down this route when she could and should have had her own genetic child. I agree that she doesn't seem to have been adequately counselled to come to terms with the donor issue but then, I can also see where her anger comes from and, perhaps to her, this court case is a way of closing the book on that so she can move on.

While I, personally, don't think the source of the genetic material used to create a child matters in any way to whether you are its parent or not I acknowledge that, for some, it's an insurmountable issue. In this case she has come to terms with it but I can fully appreciate why she feels the need to find out why such an inadequate system let her down and forced her down a route she would otherwise have not needed to go.

C~x


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

I said that i feel sorry 4 her.i am in a similar position 2 her as i had 7 years of treatment and never got anything from nhs.long waiting list and nothin provided  over 40.de treatment is not a sure thing either.hav known women not get pregnant with it either.but u hav 2 think of the baby2.am actually jus on way 2 lister 4 followup after spendin over 16k and prob will b told my only option is de.it wld not b my 1st option but with counsellin it shouldnt b a lesser .good luck 2 everyone wherever they r on journey berniex


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## armi (Sep 1, 2007)

Be Lucky said:


> Agree with u kerry and she giving birth next week.this is the 2nd article in a few weeks givin a 2nd rate opinion of donor treatment.why didnt she pay 4 treatment earlier if she was so concerned bout having her genetic child berniex


ditto


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## Nicola-Kate (Apr 22, 2008)

Everyone is entitled to there opinion agreed Kated, but why sue the nhs.
Ive been on the waiting list for 5 years now i also didn't see my consultant for 2 years but that don't mean I'm going to sue them. 
By this woman doing this she is taking away vital funding from other areas and then more people will jump on the band wagon and everyone will try to sue then people like you and me might also have to pay. 
If she wants let her make a complaint to her pct but don't sue them she is one very lucky lady in my opinion and more fortunate than some on here. 
If i cant use my eggs as i have said i would use DE and i would also egg share if my eggs don't work for me they might some1 else who wants there chance so badly. I have read some of the comments on the mail web page and i have also left a comment myself perhaps we should be like some of the American ladies say and everyone pay.
If this lady did not want to be judged or criticized she should have sued out of the lime light seems to me she seems quite pleased to get in the paper and i am told by a journalist friend she also would have been paid for her story so i don't think she is getting a raw deal at all.
She should be proud of having a baby its not just about the birth just because its not genetically hers as she says. In my opinion being a parent is for the rest of the child's life that is more important than giving birth to her genetically linked child.


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Asu will hav read i was jus coming out of my appointment and  am feel v upset.l  havent got a computor at home-i use my mobile 2 post.if u read my story i have been thru a lotand wish i hadnt posted it as feelin v vunerable and wont respondin 2 any more posts.berniex


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## muminthemaking (Jan 10, 2008)

I do feel sorry for this woman, it is tragic that she was on the waiting list for so long that her own fertility declined, she (and alot of other women I'm sure) have been let down by this system, but sueing the trust and taking away what obviously are vital funds, isn't, in my opinion, the way to go about it. Her case does need to be reviewed and an apology made, I know this won't change anything for this couple but for future couples maybe something good can come out of this.


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## loobylou713 (May 8, 2005)

You don't get paid that much for your story. I for one can tell you they print it in a way they want to. My story was with the same paper and i cringed at some things they wrote but it was too late they printed it over 2 pages as well. Not only that i looked awful on my pic lol.

linda


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

> By this woman doing this she is taking away vital funding from other areas and then more people will jump on the band wagon and everyone will try to sue then people like you and me might also have to pay.


There are a lot of people out there who would argue that any kind of NHS funded fertility treatment takes funds away from more vital areas so it should not be free at all. 



> People use the NHS for such stupid reason and put a drain on the NHS without suing anyone or having even a slight wait - people go to the doctors because they have colds. This puts a bigger strain on the NHS than someone like this woman...


Huge swathes of the NHS need absolutely no help from the patients to waste money, trust me! What do you expect when you turn healthcare into a profit making venture - blimey even my GP's surgery has now had to be tendered out to a private company because it was a "conflict of interest" having it run by the PCT that control it...huh? How is that a conflict of interest? And how does it benefit me anyway? 

I would also say, if the subject had been of a different sort of malpractice would it also be suggestable they just complain rather than sue? How serious would the situation need to be before it's ok to want a legal acknowledgement of them making a mistake? This woman's life - this family's life - will be irrevoccably changed as a result of this. She will never have her own genetic child. That is a huge thing and, yeah, not life threatening and very sad that she can't feel happy in her pregnancy but we should in no way judge her for the grief she feels for the loss of her own genetic children.

As I say, another example of how the media can blanket the emotional turmoil of their subjects to get to the sensational story beneath. It makes me sad.

Daily Mail? Meh!

C~x


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Back on board sorry was feelin low earlier.jus been told 2day that my best option is de.this is not becaus i left it 2 l8e 2 try 4 a child i hav been tryin 4 7 years and b4 that had a dep ressive illness -now well and was not in a right frame of mind 2 have  a child.nobody is sayin she shouldnt feel anythin bout not havin her genetic child.i feel a loss and think i will continue 2 feel a loss when i wait in the time 4 my de 2 come up abroad.but recoverin from illness u learn that life isnt perfect  and with the encouragement of my dh and close friends i am comin 2 c that while this mite not hav been my 1st choice itis my best choice 2 experience pregnancy.birth and our child.if u wer actually in my position and itis was ur only option how wld u feel.also not really close 2 my genetic family-think that a big caus of my illness so that might affect how i feel.sorry for me post but it might help explain my feelings.it isnt fair and a lot of it comes down 2 money2.posting early as my dh get up 4 work at 5.30!x


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## Nicola-Kate (Apr 22, 2008)

Be Lucky,

I think you have hit the nail on the head for me as well life isn't allways pink and fluffy for everyone. 
My views stem from when i had cancer to be told i couldn't have children of my own  at 26 and DE was the only option for me i got used to the idea and i feel that the child would be mine still. If a baby is growing inside me living from my body that makes it mine. 
The hospital said to me 3 years ago my eggs had not been damaged so could still be used.
When i first got diagnosed i had the treatment got sent home they forgot to send me a follow up app which instead of 6 mths later was 1 year later. When i went back i knew by the look on the Dr face something was wrong that afternoon i had 60% of my cervix removed. I could say this was the hospitals fault and they should have monitored me more but Jesus i was alive thats all that matters.
I have been very lucky with all my Dr's and consultants they look after me so well and they have gone the extra mile to help me get a family if it don't work other options are around for us thats what themost important thing is.
Mrs Mason well her body has created something so special she should be proud and stand tall say yes mistakes have been made but i have my baby and thats what is important.


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## Jane D (Apr 16, 2007)

All I can say is Daily Mail again!!! Aaaaagh, anti IVF and anti DEIVF.  I think we should have  a news boycott of the paper.


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## Teoroy (Oct 1, 2004)

I totally inderstand the lady! well done for being so open about it.


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## Be Lucky (Mar 22, 2008)

Hi all i hope this lady gettin well paid for this!i think this lady definitely needed more counsellin 2 come 2 terms with de.i intend 2 hav this b4 i go forward 2 that choice.i can emphasire with a lot of her feelins but feel she has 2 try and move on for the sake of her beautiful baby.berniex


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## shellspain (Oct 29, 2007)

Being about to start a DE ivf cycle myself I can completely sympathise with how this lady is feeling...BUT these are considerations she should have had before embarking on a donor cycle. I have had to deal with grieving the lack of my own eggs and consider the consequences of using a donor prior to starting treatment.  I really dont think she was either ready to go steaming ahead with donor treatment.

What I really dont understand is how suing the NHS is going to change her situation? Yes, by all means complain about NHS treatment to try and help highlight issues such as the IVF waiting lists but attempting to take money from an already cash starved service is ridiculous. 

She has a beautiful new born baby to love and hold and cherish. Is any money in the world going to change the fact that she was unable to have a genetic child? 


If she succeeds all that will happen is she will be taking money from the NHS which possibly could have been used to help another childless couple achieve their dream.

I agree that some UK press appears to be very Anti IVF etc but with peoples stories like this to keep feeding their 'campaigns' what chance do the rest of us with fertility problems stand in gaining  understanding of our 'plight'! 


x


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