# The Single Girls Negative Thread Part 3



## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Welcome to your new home


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## Fraggles (Jul 3, 2009)

Hi

So are you all ready for a corker.

I am sitting having a very rare tea break at work and talking to a girl I get on very well with but was talking about Amanda Holden's very sad m/c. From this she started talking about how wrong it is for these old women in their 30's and 40's leaving it to have children, why put their bodies through that and that is why there are all these problems. I said some people have medical issues, some hope to meet the right person but it is not her place to judge. She is a single mum got pregnant in her 20's and had the child and works hard but think she just didn't think. I was no impressed.

Another woman at work is 46 and is pregnant naturally after several miscarriages. We were talking about this and she told me that 2 people we work with had gone up to her and told her that they are disgusted she is pregnant.     How rude.

I am saddened that I work with people like this but also respect we all have different opinions.


Only few people know I am having tx but imagine their faces when they have another old woman who hopefully has her bfp.

xxx


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## beachgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

Fraggles, you really can't believe some people can you..46 is no age, as long as you're fit and healthy then that's the main thing.


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## Fertilitychallenged (Jun 16, 2010)

And suddenly I was bumped back here again... when I was so close I could almost smell the new life, the baby - who had earlier danced around in my womb - was discovered dead in week 15. Was permitted to hospital to induce abortion and 17 hours later a birdlike boy arrived in my hand. Unfortunately the placenta was not looking good so I had to do emergency erpc (?) during the night anyway. Here a fetus after 12 weeks has to "be taken care of with dignity" so there's just a lot of confusing decisions to make... I really would much rather continue to make arrangements for the birth of my son than try to decide how to plan his burial...

After 16 treatments it seems so hopeless that all I got was a fetus that looked small in the palm of my hand. I got a memorial service, not a birthday... And is it really going to happen again after all this? Is it really going to go better in any new pregnancy?


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## wizard (Nov 6, 2008)

FC I am so so so sorry to read your news.    You must be devastated beyond believe.  Take time for yourself and be as kind as you can to yourself.  I know the loss must feel unbearable and I really feel for you.    

In terms of any future pregnancy it is so soon after the birth of your boy to know what to do next,  but I can say that no 2 pregnancies are ever the same, regardless of 'happy endings'.  Will you have a post mortem or do they already know why your little one died?  I am thinking of you at this terrible time.

Wizard x


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## Fertilitychallenged (Jun 16, 2010)

Thank you, it's really nightmarish. And not a week ago all was right with the world... So confusing.

They will do a post mortem, but as the placenta looked bad it already seems to lean towards something being wrong there. My doctor (from maternity) wanted to scan for rare coagulation problems already before termination, and I guess this is really interesting in regards both to early miscarriage before and that I stopped (on schedule) taking aspirin 7 days from when he probably died - especially with the state the placenta was in... 

Since it is still illegal to do fertilitytreatments as a single woman in Sweden I anticipated problems with really doing any investigations now. But I mainly got a little conspiratorial smile from my doctor as she explained that she was allowed to investigate why a pregnancy ended in late miscarriage if she suspected disease and in case of coagulation problems I would start with aspirin as before but not start with shots until after pregnancy was determined anyway - and she would once again be allowed to help me with an ongoing pregnancy. 

With this pregnancy I had a referral from "normal" maternitycare to specialist maternity care, and with regards to this pregnancy I would not need referral next time but call specialist maternity care as soon as I had a positive hpt and start off there with 7 week scan and starting shots for coagulation problems

But I have to get pregnant first, and that hasn't proved to be the easiest task in the world...


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