# Family acceptance



## Happy Couple (Dec 26, 2011)

Hi I'm new here but I've already found lots of useful information from the existing threads. However there's one thing I can't find much advice on so I'm wondering if anyone can help? We have told our families that we are looking into having children and some of them have laughed and been rather sarcastic about it. I don't think they realised that gay couples can go to a clinic and legally have a child! I must admit we're not the closest of families and we don't talk much but I would like to have some kind of acceptance from them, and if we are lucky enough to have a child I would like them to treat him/her the same as their other grandchildren/nephew/neice/cousin etc We have a fear that they will not feel that a child is connected to them if they are not biologically related to her/him. I completely understand that they may feel like this as we have had to come to terms with the issues of using a sperm donor too. 

Is there any literature out there which may help them? Is this issue covered in the counselling that clinics provide?

Any thoughts appreciated. Thanks. x


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## Starz (Aug 24, 2008)

Hi, 

We had a nightmare situation with my partner's mother when i was pregnant with our first child. She said that the child wouldn't be her grandchild etc and was worried that if we split up my partner would have no rights to the child. She didn't understand why we didn't adopt together and then we both had equal rights etc.
She was also really worried about how she would tell people she was going to be a grandmother when her daughter hadn't given birth. She had never told people her daughter was gay.
We put her in touch with FFLAG (friends and families of lesbians and gays) which was really positive for her. 
We also found when the baby arrived, she was absolutely fine (it's very hard not to love a baby)  and has doted on her ever since. When my partner adopted her I think it reassured her that we both had equal rights.
Hope that helps.


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## katenreb (Oct 3, 2010)

I had children before I meet my OH but her Mum is more is more of a grandma to them than my own mum!! she loves them to bits and spoils them all rotten. We would love to have a child together and for my Oh to carry this one but are finding it hard to find a donor and at the moment we cant afford a clinic! I think you'll be surprised how your families will react. I have learent the hard way, family isn't about blood its about love.


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