# Just started the donor process



## DapperDan

Hello Folks

I read in our local paper a few weeks ago that there's an acute shortage of sperm donors.  Much to the astonishment of my wife, who says I don't have an altruistic bone in my body  , I applied.

The initial information pack they send out includes a booklet explaining the process and what's involved as well as the legal implications etc.  There was also a few associated websites - including this one. 

I've been for my initial chat, counselling session, two freeze-thaw tests and my first check at t'clinic to check for any nasties.  Waiting for the all clear in order to start donating.  From what I gather, it's a couple of visits a week for the next three months or so, followed by a three month wait and then a final check at the clinic.  I'm not surprised donors are in short supply, it's a lengthy process and if you're not close to the hospital, a big commitment time wise.  Also, the fees they pay are low and wouldn't cover loss of earnings.

I find reading posts on this site is the biggest incentive to donate and I'm in awe at what some of you go through.

All the best.

DD


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## HellyS

Hi there DD,
Just wanted to say a massive "thank you" because if it wasnt for people like you; giving up their time, effort and everything else then we wouldn't even be in the position to _try_ for a baby. What you are doing is extremely selfless and I really admire the way in which you are helping people like us.
Thank you once again.
x


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## Bronte

DD, Thankyou so much for donating. We are in desperate need for sperm donors in the UK and many of us are at our wits end now.

Bronte xx


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## Spangley

Thanks DD and tell all your friends!


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## alex28

Thanks DD!!!

and yes tell all your friends!!!!!! We are now going down the adoption route but at  many times i wanted to scream at mu husbands friends to tell them to donate but as they did not know about hubbys shortage in that area did not say anything to them.

its a very very selfless thing you are doing and yes its bloody inconvenient but you are going to bring so much joy to lots of couples in this country esp if you look like the photo!!! Ha Ha!!! 

The HFEA are looking into changing things with regards to payments to donors as i took part in a survey last year about this.  Lets hope this does not take too long. 

Thanks again you wonderful man!!


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## Alison0702

Thank you so much for helping so many couples!

You should be very proud of yourself


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## RachandSue

thank you sooooo much dd tell all your friends how rewarding the experiance is and please carry on helping couples like us even if it is a bit of a carry on procedure!!!!

we all love you loads for it


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## *Suze*

DD

THANKYOU!!!!! from the bottom of our hearts!

you truly are wonderful and without men like you we wouldn't be able to have our longed for babies 
       

and as the others have said 'tell you friends'!!

lots of love
Suzi xx


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## belladonna

Hi DD,

I would just like to echo what my fellow ff's have said.... thank you so much, it is such a stressful journey and without guys like you life would be alot harder, thanks again.      . ..and tell your friends  

donna x x x


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## ♥JJ1♥

Thanks so  much to you and men like you -you are truly a generous, and make dreams come true.
L xx


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## aweeze

Top Man DD!  

Thank you so much - it means alot and I hope that there are more special guys out there that may have acted on what they are reading in the press about the acute lack of sperm donors. 

Lou
X


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## DapperDan

Blimey, please stop, it'll go to my head  

I must say that it is a fantastic feeling to have the chance of helping others.  I'm not too sure about telling friends though (sorry), I think I'll be the only donor in my county, so it may be best if I keep it to myself for now.

Regards

DD


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## Ceri.

DD, just want to echo what the other girls have said, we are having our last attempt at ivf with donor sperm this month, if it wasnt for people like you, we wouldnt have been able to  come this far. We were matched with one donor (took ages to find) we could either accept or go to denmark or other countries they suggested. Of course we accepted. 
I can understand your reasons for keeping what you are doing to yourself, but if you did decide to tell friends .... what is there to be ashamed of? its a male pride thing to be told you havent got any swimmers, but you are on the opposite side of the coin. you were blessed, be proud! Dont want to sound pushy though! Its your decision to tell whomever you wish. 
DD THANKYOU again. People like us are eternaly grateful to people like you. 
Ceri


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## Wicklow

dd, 
Yes a huge thankyou, without people like you we wouldnt have our son. We got a donor before the new laws came in when donors were easier to come by! Thankyou
Ruth


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## sam mn

thanks dd,

everytime we get a chance at treatment, with all the feelings of hope and excitment to what may happen, i want to thank the donors that we have been using, i know i cant do that. but i want to take this chance and saying thank you to all sperm donors without you me and my dh would not have any hope of having a family.

thanks again dd people like you are truely amazing.

sam mn
xxxx


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## DapperDan

I haven't had this much praise/encouragement since I was a newborn 



*ceri* said:


> .... what is there to be ashamed of? its a male pride thing to be told you havent got any swimmers, but you are on the opposite side of the coin.


Hello ceri

Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy and proud about what I'm doing. However, with two youngsters of our own (5y, 11m) and being surprised at the number of friends/locals who are having fertility treatment, I feel it best to keep a low profile. I have no qualms about revealing my identity to any children born as a result of my donation, but feel that the negatives (at the moment) outweigh the positives for letting it be know what I'm doing.

Regards

DD


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## Ella*

Hi DD, same as Sam & the others, *thank you!* I am thrilled to hear it was in your local paper! I was despairing at how they thought a miraculous group of men would up the supplies! 
I can also see as beneficial as it would be to encourage friends I can also see why you'd keep a low profile for quite a few reasons. On that note, I haven't encouraged a single friend because they either don't know our situation or the ones that do know have either had vasectomies!, or other issues etc. Anyway, the fact that it's in your local paper is fantastic. Maybe it will be in mine next week 

Ella


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## DapperDan

Hello Ella

There was a large article in our local paper some months back which said there was only one donor in the county.  Then a few months after that the article was repeated, after which I applied.  When I went for my initial chat I mentioned the article and asked how many people had responded, they said the articles had brought in no additional donors    

To be honest, I don't think I would be doing this if we hadn't had some history on the ttc front.  Unless someone has some personal stake/experience, the effort required would often overcome the good intentions IMO

Regards

DD


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## Ella*

I can't believe it, no additional donors from any advert!  grief!! I am so shocked. I suppose thinking & doing are two different things. & yes the effort, that too. The only upside from your reply is that you mentioned donors coming from ttc history or personal stakes etc, well, with so many fertility issues around now that group has got even bigger ...


Back to brighter things! The fact that you are one more donor is a start!


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## Ceri.

DD, Just wanna say that i understand, and Thankyou again!


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## sweetcaroline

DD, just wanted to echo what the others have said and add my thanks; we wouldn't have our wonderful son if it weren't for people like you.       

I think you're wise not to shout about it; couples with fertility problems - particularly male factor - obviously tend to keep it quiet and it could be awkward if someone you knew was given a donor profile which they felt matched yours.  Or people would be claiming to have spotted your offspring around the country!  We can't help thinking things like 'Urge your friends!' because sometimes we feel like we should be the ones highlighting the problem of donor shortage yet we can't: my DH isn't ashamed of his azoospermia and we talked about being open about it but decided it would be unfair on our child.  We'll tell him the truth one day but it's for him to decide who knows about it.  Sometimes you'd love to say something though... we were with the friends we met at antenatal classes and people were joking that DS looks just like one of the other dads - it was all 'Is there something you haven't told us Caroline?' and jokes about 'mini-me'.  We weren't upset, we've got used to all the 'Who does he look like?' stuff, but you can't help imagining the scenario if you said 'Well actually...'!

Anyway, thanks so much again,
Caroline xxx


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## DapperDan

Hello Vic

Note that I said county, not country, although I hope I'm not the only donor in the country!  I don't know if I'm on the NHS books or not, I assume so as it's a large NHS hospital I'm attending.  

Caroline - Too true re:  'spot the offspring' !  If I was in the same position as your DH I would have the same attitude.  It's a fact, you cannot change it, so let's make the best of it, although I can see how it could affect many men.  It depends on their disposition I suppose.


With the current shortage, are donor matches becoming increasingly less strict?  I can imagine it to be quite a dilemma.

Regards

DD


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## eli..g

Thanks DD

We are just starting on our Male infertility journey and alredy know we are in for a very rough ride!
Just wish there were more like you!

Px


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## DapperDan

Good luck to you pippadee.

I've just had my results back from the STD clinic (!) and the CMV test came back negative, so hopefully that means more possible matches.

It's a lengthy old process:

Initial chat
Counselling session + freeze/thaw test
Another freeze/thaw test
STD Clinic
Chromosome blood test  <-- Now up to here.
Donations * 24+
(3 month wait)
STD Clinic

Still, mustn't grumble, I did volunteer.  

Regards

DD


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## AnneD

DD - thank you from the bottom of my heart for deciding to take the plunge and be a donor.  As you can see we've been successful with tx and if it weren't for men like you we'd never ever be in this wonderful position.  I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell your friends but lets hope other men have felt the same as you and are taking the plunge.  It's a lengthy process so I admire you for following it through and helping others achieve their dream.

Thank you, thank you, thank you  

Anne x


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## Ella*

Congrats for reaching the half way mark with the process DD! That is some rigmarol there isn't it... Did the 24+ mean hours or donations.

Just realised who DapperDan was! D'oh! Brill film.... Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, am a man of constant sorrowwwwwwwwww ...


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## DapperDan

EllaW said:


> ... Did the 24+ mean hours or donations.


Pints  It's a guess at the number of donations. I mentioned this to my wife and she said couldn't I just produce more on each visit...... 



EllaW said:


> Just realised who DapperDan was! D'oh! Brill film.... Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, am a man of constant sorrowwwwwwwwww ...


A great film and soundtrack IMO. I'm like the tall dopey one 

Regards

DD


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## candygirl

Just had to add my thanks - it's because of people like you that I might be able to have a baby one day. Let's hope there are more men out there who feel the same way, so that this shortage can be stopped.

THANK YOU!


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## wolla

DD
Just wanted to add my thanks - this is fast becoming the Dapperdan fanclub .

It's because of a wonderful man like yourself that I'm 32 wks pregnant after 4 years of trying, and I really can't thank you enough for giving other couples the chance of starting a family.

You're great you are!!
wolla
x


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## DapperDan

Thanks wolla, candygirl et al, it's my pleasure  

I've just had blood taken for the chromosome test this week and apparently it will take 6-8 weeks to get the results back.  It's up to me whether I wait for the results or plough on.  Not being one for beating about the bush, I'm going to attend twice a week and take the risk of having wasted my time should the results come back unfavourably.

Regards

DD


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## Marielou

DD - 
I just wanted to express my thanks and gratitude as well ... if it wasnt for amazing people such as yourself, I wouldnt be as lucky as I am, and have this little baby who is currently kicking my insides like mad!!    

Best of luck!

Marie xx


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## viviennef

Hi Dan, I think you're getting quite a fan club here. Just wanted to add my thanks and support to you. It's people like you who can change lives, not just of the potential parents but their whole families. Thanks to our donor I now have two wonderful little boys who are the only grandchildren in the family and who have brought us all so much happiness (and sleepless nights!) Good luck with everything.

love Viv xxx


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## blueeyes

Dear Dan
just thought I would add to the fanzine.

[fly]THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CARING (and to your wife for supporting you too)[/fly]
You are giving people so much hope

with respect and gratitude
Blueeyes


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## spooq

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

If only more men had your kind heart and a wonderful wife like yours!


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## DapperDan

It was my pleasure  

All done now, bar the final HIV test in 5 months time and thinking of something worthwhile to write on the information sheet lodged with the HFEA.

Regards

DS


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## stephanie1

Hello DD from Narnia    

I have just found this thread and felt that I needed to say THANK YOU like the rest of my peers.

WELL DONE AND APPRECIATED FOR HELPING ON YOUR FREE WILL AND TIME.

    

Steph


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## Clare H

Hi Guys
I had my consult yesterday after 2nd bfn, consultant told me i have possible egg problem some of my eggs were oval shaped instead of round.1st IVF 9 EGGS COLLECTED, 4 FERTILISED, 2 NO GOOD, 1 3 CELL & 1 4 CELL transfered.2ND IVF 15 EGGS COLLECTED 9 FERTILISED 2 4 CELL TRANSFERED.Rest not good enough to freeze.
Wondering now if egg donor is the next route to take, and unsure how the process works, could someone provide me with a link or am i in the right place?
Clare x x


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## DapperDan

Hello folks

Today I went for the final HIV/Hep blood test after my 6 month quarantine period, submitted my goodwill message/details and bade them farewell.  All in all it's been around 11 months since I read the request for donors and my making the initial call.  I made more visits than absolutely necessary because I wanted to ensure there was enough for any possible siblings.  Being CMV neg may also help.

I plan to give the clinic a call in a few years to see if anything became of my donation.  I'd be interested to see the male/female mix.

I wish you all luck in your endeavours.

Regards

DD


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## eli..g

Good to hear from you again Dapper Dan

Again, Thanks soooooooooo much for giving up your time to help people like us!!

Exx


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