# Still can't make mind up what to do next



## mandymoo12 (May 13, 2013)

Hello ladies,
I've had two failed IVF's. The first was last March and the second was in December. Despite the fact that we have to pay we have decided that we will go again. I have two issues. It probably still won't be for a few months as I seem to have so much planned in the next few months and would really like a relatively quiet six weeks so not sure when I'm going to go.  Plus my other issue is because it costs I really can't make my mind up whether to do one more cycle with my own eggs or go straight into donor eggs. I know the chances will be higher with donor eggs, but my AMH is not that low, but there again it isn't really that great (9.7) I almost wish it was lower so my decision would be made.
We don't have endless supplies of money so I don't want to do one cycle after another.
Advice?
xx


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## Turia (Feb 2, 2013)

Hi Mandymoo
I've just noticed your post and realised that you have not had any replies.  It may also be worth reposting under Donor Eggs...

The decision to move onto Donor Eggs is one that only you and your partner can make.  I cannot advise but can give you my experience which may or may not be useful    We have had to self-fund all treatments and it is sad but reality that too often decisions can also come down to financial restrictions.

We tried own egg IVF twice despite being advised with round two that we would only have a 3% success rate.  With our first round we had 3 eggs and 3 fertilised and 3 transferred but it didn't work.  Our second round failed at collection, despite having a few follicles they couldn't get anything.  In some ways this made our decision to go to donor eggs easier.  We couldn't afford to keep throwing money (never mind the heartache) if the chances were so low.    

However donor eggs are also not the automatic success that they are often made out to be.  As you will see from my signature we have used donor eggs 6 times, only had 2 BFPs one of which didn't last and I am hoping and  every day that all is ok with this wee one.  I must admit that my poor success rate with donor eggs is unusual - most would expect success within 2-3 goes.  However I think what I am trying to say, is that if financial and emotional health are issues, you may need to budget for more than one go.  Obviously donor eggs are easier physically as you are not stimming, but after egg transfer the drug/physical implications are the same so it is also not that easier!

Only you know what you can afford in terms of cycling, however in terms of your other issue I would actually support having a few months out before trying again.  Donor or own eggs will be exhausting physically and emotionally so it is best to be in a 'good' place before trying again.

I should add that using donor eggs was never really as issue for me.  I was quite aware of epigenetics so knew that my dna would still influence any future baby despite it being a donor egg.  Obviously I would also be carrying it and be able to bond that way.  Even before transfer, I considered the eggs as being 'ours' rather than the donor's!

Sorry for the rambling but good luck in whatever you decide.
Turia x


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## Becia (Jul 2, 2011)

Hi Mandymoo

I'm in the same position, my AMH was last tested in June last year and it was very good but it still didn't work and we have always had a low fertilisation rate. After the miscarriage I was told that it was probably the egg quality that was the problem but that it wasn't yet time to move to donor eggs (because we were able to get two embryos each time).

Our last cycle was pretty bad with only three mature eggs and I am now thinking of moving to donor eggs but to be honest I feel really lost. I know donor eggs don't give any guarantee either but the success rates are better.

It's so hard isn't it..


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Sorry you are struggling honey  

I cant help with the DE vs OE thing I'm afraid, but just wondered if you had thought of mild IVF? It's often quite a bit cheaper and easier on the body, and quite good for ladies with a lower amh. There is quite a good chat thread on the IVF section about it, it's not all easy going, and lots of options of treatment style, but maybe worth looking into whilst you do your research.

Good luck whatever you decide xxx


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

Hi Cloudy, 
I was in your position too. It took me a long while to get to my first IVF cycle with my own eggs after losing an ovary and then having to have more surgery for cysts and to clip my Fallopian tube. My AMH was high but by the time I had IVF last May I was 42. I got three eggs if which two fertilised and were transferred. I got a BFP and then mc both embies a few weeks apart. 
Because of my poor response -loads of follies, most empty- my clinic began to glisten the idea of DE. They did suggest one more cycle with my eggs first. For me it cane down to statistics. I knew there was a very slim chance of success with OE, I'd already miscarried and so I decided to go with DE. I'm due to go yo Spain in July with a 70% chance of success. Ive looked into epigenetics sbd feel excited and convinced this will be my baby. I know it's a personal choice. I guess you have to decide whether you can take the physical and emotional stresses off an OE cycle with a slim chance if success vs less physical stress and a much better chance with DE. 
That said, maybe I'll regret it in the future but I think once I have my baby in my arms how they go there will be irrelevant. 
Good luck, Lisa


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

Sorry Mandy. Posting when tired. That port was for you, not cloudy! X


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## Blondie71 (Oct 26, 2011)

Mandy are you thinking of abroad or UK? If abroad my clinic (Serum, Athens) do a 2 cycle package for 4000 euro and you could try one cycle with your own eggs and if bfn convert the remaining cycle to a DE cycle as lots of the ladies do that at our clinic, an option to consider anyway x


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## mandymoo12 (May 13, 2013)

Hi girls.
Thanks all so much for your replies. They are all really helpful.
I had decided that I am almost certainly going to go abroad if I end up doing donor. I was thinking of Spain or Croatia. I think there are more options etc.
But if I do one more of my own cycle couldn't see the point of going abroad. 
But Blondie, I think I will definitely research Serum because that sounds like a great option.
I had pretty much decided that I will do one more OE and then if I fail one DE. Then stop.
I've told a couple of friends and they convinced me that if I was agonising over the decision so much I should definitely have one more go.
Now I'm going to research Serum. I've read loads about Penny on here!!

Thanks again. It's so nice sharing
Ljp. You are right, once that baby is in your arms it won't matter. I have three stepchildren and a dog and I love them and none hVe my DNA!!
Cloudy, I will phone the mild IVF clinic up too, because I keep getting adverts for them on my **!!
Beccia, hope you come to a decision soon 
Turia. Great advice hun 

Xxxx


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