# New and over 40



## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

Hi everyone,
Myself (41)and my partner have been trying naturally for a baby for over a year now with no luck.
We had seen a specialist at that time and were told there was nothing wrong with either of us.
I have now given up hope of conceiving naturally and we have started the talk of IVF. 
I am just wondering if anyone here is/was in the same boat and what kind of treatment they have decided to go with or have had. I have heard that at my age it is better to go with a donor. If this is your experience how did you find it. Did you try with your own eggs first? Where did you start? Any recommended clinics? I am living in ireland and I know costs are huge here, if you went abroad how did you find it? How much selection of donors are there realistically? (I would like to have a similar appearance as in eye/hair colour and height.
Apologies for all the questions but this seems like a mountain to me. I doubt we will afford many shots at this and I am just trying to start with a clinic with a good/successful reputation.

thanks for any help you can give


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## Frosty2022 (10 mo ago)

Lmurphy said:


> Hi everyone,
> Myself (41)and my partner have been trying naturally for a baby for over a year now with no luck.
> We had seen a specialist at that time and were told there was nothing wrong with either of us.
> I have now given up hope of conceiving naturally and we have started the talk of IVF.
> ...


Hi there, I am 41, my hubby 51, we did our stim cycle, I had 14 follicles, but only 5 eggs received. And only 1 blastocyst was frozen, but unfortunately chromosomal abnormal. So - you know your chances are low. But I would try to stimulate you ovaries at least for 1 time. My friend 39, had 16 follicles, 9 eggs, till day 5- only 1 embryo survived. Not tested for chromosomal abnormalities, see what happens…
That is our reallity. 
Other story - my friend of age 45 used donor egg and her husband sperm, pregnant from 1st transfer, and now 14 weeks ! 
Had 10ivf cycles in her 5 years of trying! 
So good luck!


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Lmurphy said:


> Hi everyone,
> Myself (41)and my partner have been trying naturally for a baby for over a year now with no luck.
> We had seen a specialist at that time and were told there was nothing wrong with either of us.
> I have now given up hope of conceiving naturally and we have started the talk of IVF.
> ...


I would say if you had tests done and told all is okay I would absolutely get on with ivf using own eggs. At our ages mild / natural ivf I believe is the way forward after countless hours of research .
I am doing three back to back cycles with create fertility and banking what I get . I have a few issues and partner has very low scores . I’m nearly 44 and I have just finished round one and have a grade 1 embryo in the freezer already . Try not to read too much negativity . I saw on the tv , on this morning with holly and Phil , a 52 year old doing ivf and got quads . My best advice and what a lovely lady’s advice I got when I first started reaching out on here was to have a budget you can afford and be prepared to spend it . For me I also took into account donor egg cost incase this doesn’t work . I then got the money and put it in a separate account so it didn’t stress me about the costs as I already made that financial commitment to it. Wishing you so much luck and you will find lots of helpful posts ok here to get you up to speed with ivf .
I wouldn’t waste any time due to your age as your chances are a lot higher than at my age with your own egg.
I would get new tests done at the doctors for free and a new semen analysis and get booked in with a clinic as soon as . Hope that helps x


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

Frosty2022 said:


> Hi there, I am 41, my hubby 51, we did our stim cycle, I had 14 follicles, but only 5 eggs received. And only 1 blastocyst was frozen, but unfortunately chromosomal abnormal. So - you know your chances are low. But I would try to stimulate you ovaries at least for 1 time. My friend 39, had 16 follicles, 9 eggs, till day 5- only 1 embryo survived. Not tested for chromosomal abnormalities, see what happens…
> That is our reallity.
> Other story - my friend of age 45 used donor egg and her husband sperm, pregnant from 1st transfer, and now 14 weeks !
> Had 10ivf cycles in her 5 years of trying!
> So good luck!


It really does sound like donor egg is the way to go, as much as I would love my own, I have to be realistic, and this child would still be my own. 
Did your friend go abroad? 
I am sorry to hear you weren’t successful, will you try again?


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

PDream1980 said:


> I would say if you had tests done and told all is okay I would absolutely get on with ivf using own eggs. At our ages mild / natural ivf I believe is the way forward after countless hours of research .
> I am doing three back to back cycles with create fertility and banking what I get . I have a few issues and partner has very low scores . I’m nearly 44 and I have just finished round one and have a grade 1 embryo in the freezer already . Try not to read too much negativity . I saw on the tv , on this morning with holly and Phil , a 52 year old doing ivf and got quads . My best advice and what a lovely lady’s advice I got when I first started reaching out on here was to have a budget you can afford and be prepared to spend it . For me I also took into account donor egg cost incase this doesn’t work . I then got the money and put it in a separate account so it didn’t stress me about the costs as I already made that financial commitment to it. Wishing you so much luck and you will find lots of helpful posts ok here to get you up to speed with ivf .
> I wouldn’t waste any time due to your age as your chances are a lot higher than at my age with your own egg.
> I would get new tests done at the doctors for free and a new semen analysis and get booked in with a clinic as soon as . Hope that helps x


Hi, 

thanks for coming back to me, excuse my ignorance but when you say 3 back to back are you basically trying for as many embryos as possible and implanting at the same time? 
when I seen my specialist in sims in ireland he didn’t give much information other then get it done now. 
I wasn’t really happy with the consult to be honest. 
I actually want to check I had my AMH tested. Thishas been mentioned to me and as it was such an important test Iassumed it was done but I can’t see anything on my tests.
Did you go abroad for treatment?


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## Frosty2022 (10 mo ago)

Lmurphy said:


> It really does sound like donor egg is the way to go, as much as I would love my own, I have to be realistic, and this child would still be my own.
> Did your friend go abroad?
> I am sorry to hear you weren’t successful, will you try again?


Defo abroad, I found a clinic who can do a guarantee package with 70% money back up to sge of 50, also gave to be used in 2 years time.
Looking into it …


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Lmurphy said:


> Hi,
> 
> thanks for coming back to me, excuse my ignorance but when you say 3 back to back are you basically trying for as many embryos as possible and implanting at the same time?
> when I seen my specialist in sims in ireland he didn’t give much information other then get it done now.
> ...


Hi … yes in essence I am seeing what quality my eggs are by fertilising them and then if they grow then freeze them . As it’s very mild drugs you only get roughly two eggs out a time. However since it’s mild you can do it every month rather than the breaks you have to take when on stronger medication . Plus at our age stronger drugs have no benefit of you have a low amh . Mine was 0.5 last year so I imagine even lower now. That result shows very low egg reserve . However not all go off amh .the clinic I am in goes off the follicle count so in theory the follicles Carry an egg . If you have a good number you are able to produce more eggs. You could have a really good amh and therefore might suit a few more drugs to get more eggs out as it can be a bit of a numbers game . Once I’ve had my three goes I will then have a transfer done , I’m just deciding now whether to have a fresh transfer on my third go or wait a month and have a frozen embryo transfer. If you are struggling finding a clinic in Ireland and you are near an airport I would
Strongly recommend serum in Athens . I didn’t go there in the end due to work and no easy access to an airport . In the end I decided to pay more money and do it here for convenience . For three v mild cycles I’ve paid 15k . Then on top have to budget for donor egg which if I get to that point I will 100 percent be going abroad for . I know it’s not an easy process and it took me half a year to process things but I wouldn’t waste time as age is more on your side than me x I hope that helps


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

Frosty2022 said:


> Defo abroad, I found a clinic who can do a guarantee package with 70% money back up to sge of 50, also gave to be used in 2 years time.
> Looking into it …


Oh wow, what’s the name of it or are you allowed mention on here?


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## LizN (8 mo ago)

Lmurphy said:


> Hi everyone,
> Myself (41)and my partner have been trying naturally for a baby for over a year now with no luck.
> We had seen a specialist at that time and were told there was nothing wrong with either of us.
> I have now given up hope of conceiving naturally and we have started the talk of IVF.
> ...


Hello! Just had a chat with another lady from here. I'm also searching for treatment abroad and soon having a consultation with Vida Fertility in Spain. They seem to know what they are doing and have quiet large donors pool. 
I hope you will find your perfect clinic 💜Any information I'll receive I can share.


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## Efi78 (Jun 26, 2017)

Hi LMurphy,

i think I would give it a go with own eggs for at least one cycle and then move to donor eggs.
As you can see from my signature I had 4 OE failed cycles and now moved to DE. Never looked back.
My clinic is New Life at Thessaloniki. To be honest I don’t think there is a better clinic for DE. The low cost, the care you receive, good bedside manner, young donors, perfect english. Not to mention holiday at Thessaloniki/Chalkidiki.
Of course I haven’t got my BFP yet but fingers crossed, I have 3 good quality blastos in the freezer.
Good luck whatever you choose


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

PDream1980 said:


> Hi … yes in essence I am seeing what quality my eggs are by fertilising them and then if they grow then freeze them . As it’s very mild drugs you only get roughly two eggs out a time. However since it’s mild you can do it every month rather than the breaks you have to take when on stronger medication . Plus at our age stronger drugs have no benefit of you have a low amh . Mine was 0.5 last year so I imagine even lower now. That result shows very low egg reserve . However not all go off amh .the clinic I am in goes off the follicle count so in theory the follicles Carry an egg . If you have a good number you are able to produce more eggs. You could have a really good amh and therefore might suit a few more drugs to get more eggs out as it can be a bit of a numbers game . Once I’ve had my three goes I will then have a transfer done , I’m just deciding now whether to have a fresh transfer on my third go or wait a month and have a frozen embryo transfer. If you are struggling finding a clinic in Ireland and you are near an airport I would
> Strongly recommend serum in Athens . I didn’t go there in the end due to work and no easy access to an airport . In the end I decided to pay more money and do it here for convenience . For three v mild cycles I’ve paid 15k . Then on top have to budget for donor egg which if I get to that point I will 100 percent be going abroad for . I know it’s not an easy process and it took me half a year to process things but I wouldn’t waste time as age is more on your side than me x I hope that helps


Thanks so much, I've never heard of a mild IVF. Do you mind me asking who you have gone with in Ireland? Did the 15k include everything and then is it much for the actual implant part? I got on to my hospital today as they had done all my tests while I was attending over a cyst. They did actually do an AMH so I've to call them back Friday, this was Nov 20;so I will see what that is like and maybe get a new one done and make a decision re donor on the results I think that might point me in a better direction. It's so hard with all the different clinics and seems to be good reviews on the clinics in Spain. I will look up the one you mentioned. Thanks so much for all the info, there's so much to get your head around. I definitely don't want to waste anymore time and for money reasons we decided to try naturally for awhile too long really just living in hope! Plus this is also the reason I want to go for the best option first and not waste money so I'm trying to get my head round it all. I really hope you get the results you want. Have you come across any specific clinics for our age group with good success?


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

Efi78 said:


> Hi LMurphy,
> 
> i think I would give it a go with own eggs for at least one cycle and then move to donor eggs.
> As you can see from my signature I had 4 OE failed cycles and now moved to DE. Never looked back.
> ...


Thanks for the response, I will look these up also, how many donor cycles have you done? Do you mind me asking how old you are?


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

Efi78 said:


> Hi LMurphy,
> 
> i think I would give it a go with own eggs for at least one cycle and then move to donor eggs.
> As you can see from my signature I had 4 OE failed cycles and now moved to DE. Never looked back.
> ...


Sorry I see your signature now! Just getting used to the layout of everything, best of luck to you on your journey x


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

LizN said:


> Hello! Just had a chat with another lady from here. I'm also searching for treatment abroad and soon having a consultation with Vida Fertility in Spain. They seem to know what they are doing and have quiet large donors pool.
> I hope you will find your perfect clinic 💜Any information I'll receive I can share.





LizN said:


> Hello! Just had a chat with another lady from here. I'm also searching for treatment abroad and soon having a consultation with Vida Fertility in Spain. They seem to know what they are doing and have quiet large donors pool.
> I hope you will find your perfect clinic 💜Any information I'll receive I can share.


Best of luck with it, yes please do share, it's like a minefield of information, I hope it goes well for you. Yea I I'm dark hair dark eyes I really hope I could find a good donor match. Did you read much on burnebeo or ivf Spain, tambre Madrid or institute marques?


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Lmurphy said:


> Thanks so much, I've never heard of a mild IVF. Do you mind me asking who you have gone with in Ireland? Did the 15k include everything and then is it much for the actual implant part? I got on to my hospital today as they had done all my tests while I was attending over a cyst. They did actually do an AMH so I've to call them back Friday, this was Nov 20;so I will see what that is like and maybe get a new one done and make a decision re donor on the results I think that might point me in a better direction. It's so hard with all the different clinics and seems to be good reviews on the clinics in Spain. I will look up the one you mentioned. Thanks so much for all the info, there's so much to get your head around. I definitely don't want to waste anymore time and for money reasons we decided to try naturally for awhile too long really just living in hope! Plus this is also the reason I want to go for the best option first and not waste money so I'm trying to get my head round it all. I really hope you get the results you want. Have you come across any specific clinics for our age group with good success?


Gosh lots of success at your age . I’m in England so the place I am using is Called create . They are mild and natural
Ivf specialists for older women . It’s 15k for everything . My partner had a semen analysis done at the doctors and they said it was fine . However when I got a copy of the results they were really really bad. Border on severely low
Sperm Count and 4% morphology etc . I then looked into that and those scores makes natural pregnancy harder . I would get a copy of your partners results . Hence our trying naturally was a bit in vain . Ivf can overcome sperm issues with icsi . Oh yes there’s a lot to learn .

I would get a scan done at a clinic and get all current tests done to make a decision whether you should Try with your own eggs . My thoughts are from being told you’re okay is that you should try first and then move to donor egg if you don’t have success after three rounds with your own eggs . It’s not an easy journey at all , emotionally and financially and I’ve just finished my 1st go . For me it’s a psychological thing to know I have done my best before moving to donor eggs . I’ve spoken to women who have own egg children and donor egg children and the love is just the same and so I wouldnt say donor egg a second option it’s just something I personally have to go through with my own egg .x


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Good luck today rose . I have everything crossed for you for a positive result . You’re the first to get to this point on here


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

PDream1980 said:


> Gosh lots of success at your age . I’m in England so the place I am using is Called create . They are mild and natural
> Ivf specialists for older women . It’s 15k for everything . My partner had a semen analysis done at the doctors and they said it was fine . However when I got a copy of the results they were really really bad. Border on severely low
> Sperm Count and 4% morphology etc . I then looked into that and those scores makes natural pregnancy harder . I would get a copy of your partners results . Hence our trying naturally was a bit in vain . Ivf can overcome sperm issues with icsi . Oh yes there’s a lot to learn .
> 
> I would get a scan done at a clinic and get all current tests done to make a decision whether you should Try with your own eggs . My thoughts are from being told you’re okay is that you should try first and then move to donor egg if you don’t have success after three rounds with your own eggs . It’s not an easy journey at all , emotionally and financially and I’ve just finished my 1st go . For me it’s a psychological thing to know I have done my best before moving to donor eggs . I’ve spoken to women who have own egg children and donor egg children and the love is just the same and so I wouldnt say donor egg a second option it’s just something I personally have to go through with my own egg .x


Absolutely, someone said to me it’s just a cell, your body grows the baby, which I thought really puts things into perspective. Costs in ireland are crazy, I have read up on a clinic in Greece that a lady on here mentioned and costs are like half the price and the reviews seem amazing. I hadn’t thought of Greece so I’m thinking of a consultation with them. 
it would definitely leave it more affordable to try my own egg first. I’m feeling a little more positive 😊
I really hope this goes well for you would be delighted to hear how it goes. Thanks so much for all the info


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

You’re so welcome x


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## LizN (8 mo ago)

Lmurphy said:


> Best of luck with it, yes please do share, it's like a minefield of information, I hope it goes well for you. Yea I I'm dark hair dark eyes I really hope I could find a good donor match. Did you read much on burnebeo or ivf Spain, tambre Madrid or institute marques?


Omg it's exhausting! I just want to start😅 I'm also dark hair but blue eyes and they said no problem with finding a good match.
I was in contact with ivf Spain and bernabeu but didn't have much connection with them...and price wise vida seems better. So fingers crossed! I will definitely post my review after the consultation.


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## PDream1980 (Oct 21, 2021)

Lmurphy said:


> Absolutely, someone said to me it’s just a cell, your body grows the baby, which I thought really puts things into perspective. Costs in ireland are crazy, I have read up on a clinic in Greece that a lady on here mentioned and costs are like half the price and the reviews seem amazing. I hadn’t thought of Greece so I’m thinking of a consultation with them.
> it would definitely leave it more affordable to try my own egg first. I’m feeling a little more positive 😊
> I really hope this goes well for you would be delighted to hear how it goes. Thanks so much for all the info


Yes penny at serum in Athens . Beautiful lady x


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

PDream1980 said:


> Yes penny at serum in Athens . Beautiful lady x


Have you read up on them much, I can only find old threads on here that aren’t very positive


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

LizN said:


> Omg it's exhausting! I just want to start😅 I'm also dark hair but blue eyes and they said no problem with finding a good match.
> I was in contact with ivf Spain and bernabeu but didn't have much connection with them...and price wise vida seems better. So fingers crossed! I will definitely post my review after the consultation.


Yea a lot of the Spanish clinics don’t seem to have prices on their sites. I will look Vida up now thanks a million. Let me know how it goes for you 😊😊


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## Seafoam (Oct 23, 2014)

Lmurphy said:


> Yea a lot of the Spanish clinics don’t seem to have prices on their sites. I will look Vida up now thanks a million. Let me know how it goes for you 😊😊


Hi LMurphy
I’d recommend a consultation with Kent Ayers Fertility in the Beacon - Kent doesn’t do any ivf cycles himself but does satellite monitoring for ladies cycling abroad. He would be able to give you very good advice about clinics abroad based on your circumstances and preferences and also ivf options. I don’t know much about the donor side of things but am sure he could advise. I used him for scans/blood tests when cycling with a clinic in London and found him very knowledgeable and kind. His whole team are lovely to deal with. Best of luck X


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## Lmurphy (10 mo ago)

Seafoam said:


> Hi LMurphy
> I’d recommend a consultation with Kent Ayers Fertility in the Beacon - Kent doesn’t do any ivf cycles himself but does satellite monitoring for ladies cycling abroad. He would be able to give you very good advice about clinics abroad based on your circumstances and preferences and also ivf options. I don’t know much about the donor side of things but am sure he could advise. I used him for scans/blood tests when cycling with a clinic in London and found him very knowledgeable and kind. His whole team are lovely to deal with. Best of luck X


Thanks for the advice, really appreciate it. Best of luck with everything x


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## BabyWanted! (Sep 6, 2019)

Lmurphy said:


> Hi everyone,
> Myself (41)and my partner have been trying naturally for a baby for over a year now with no luck.
> We had seen a specialist at that time and were told there was nothing wrong with either of us.
> I have now given up hope of conceiving naturally and we have started the talk of IVF.
> ...


Hello I recommend the clinic we went to DUNYA IVF in Cyprus. Give them a try - you can send them a message right away EmbryoScope+®️ & RI Witness in Cyprus, exclusively at Dunya IVF Clinic


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## Lola2021 (Dec 25, 2020)

Hi @Lmurphy 
Im also based in Ireland. We tried IUI and IVF/ICSI at a clinic in Ireland but my egg quality & quantity were poor. (Aged 36). So we went abroad to IB Alicante and were lucky enough to be successful on first transfer using donor egg & hubbie’s sperm. Feel free to private message me if you have any questions.


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## BabyWanted! (Sep 6, 2019)

Lmurphy said:


> Hi everyone,
> Myself (41)and my partner have been trying naturally for a baby for over a year now with no luck.
> We had seen a specialist at that time and were told there was nothing wrong with either of us.
> I have now given up hope of conceiving naturally and we have started the talk of IVF.
> ...


Your chances seem really good at using your own eggs. DId you find a clinic already? We had a sperm donation done in Cyprus with own eggs. Only 3 made it to blast out of 11 eggs. We had one transferred and that is now our baby girl  Other 2 are frozen. Don't forget to give us an update?


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