# Question for Host Surrogates



## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

After being blessed with our gorgeous little girl thanks to a wonderful surrogate we had all decided that we would like to do a sibling this year. We tried one transfer recently which failed    and very sadly our surros son had just been diagnosed with a really serious illness, which will need a very long recovery. Of course she needs to focus on her own family at a time like this and we wouldnt expect anything else although we will always stay in contact. So my question is - we are desperate to give our little girl a sibling so:

1. As a surrogate would you be offended if we started to look for another surrogate - would hate to hurt her. And how would you prefer to be told.

2. Would you do a second child for a couple or do surrogates prefer to do the first child only?

Thank you to anyone who is able to give me their thoughts - its a tricky time and I don't want to do the wrong thing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## strawberry1 (May 25, 2011)

Hi apricot  

I'm sure your surrogate will understand that your so grateful for all she's done but it is very important for you to not have to worry about personal issues going on with the surrogate and her own family. It can be stressful.

In answer to your second question, I think it depends more on the relationship between your partner, yourself, the surrogate and her family, and it feels right rather than the surrogate mother only wanting to help a couple who are childless.

Have you still got embryos frozen?xxx


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## melapee29 (Apr 19, 2011)

Hi Apricot,
As a surrogate myself i would think your surrogate would understand if you decided to look for another surro. She has alot to deal with her son and i'm sure she would feel happy that you are carrying on with your dream of having a child.

If it was me i would prefere to be told face to face but it does depend on your relationship with her and if yours is a close one then she would proberly feel the same way. 

Good luck with your journey in finding a new surrogate and best wishes to your surrogate and her son.

mel xx


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## apricot (Apr 21, 2008)

Thank you both so very much for your replies - it means a lot to have your opinions   

Strawberry (had to smile at your name - we're a fruit salad between us   ) yes we do have frozen embies still (13 including 4 blasts) at the ARGC but I know I am running out of time so not sure if I could produce any more. I think our surrogate will understand, although I know she will be disappointed not to be able to give us a sibling and may be upset to begin with. I know you are right though as it is important to reduce stress as much as possible doing surrogacy. Its lovely to hear that we would still be considered by another surrogate despite having a child.

Melapee - as you say it would be nicer to tell her face to face and as we are close I think she would appreciate it - I just wasn't sure. Its a bit like ending a relationship, sometimes its so hard to see it from the other persons point of view and I desperately want to do the right thing as the smallest thing can upset someone who is in fragile state. I really want to keep our friendship and to stay in contact so its important to do it as kindly as possible. 

Thank you both so much for your input     xxxxxxxxxx


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