# In need of support



## Tomo (Feb 29, 2008)

Hello,

I've looked at this site over the years but never taken part, start down regging on Sunday and would love to talk to people who understand what this painful journey is like.
My story so far:
TTC since 2006.  Me:39 DH:36
6months on clomid and another trail drug
Male factor identified
Feb 2008 #1 ICSI short protocol, (Lister) 1 blast, BFN
May 2008 #2 ICSI short protocol, (Lister) 2 embees, BFN
Mar 2009 #3 ICSI Natural cycle, (Create) 1 embee, BFN
June 2009 #4 ICSI mild cycle, (Create) 2 embees, BFN
Completed Allan Beer Tests, high natural killer cells, out of range TH1&2 and the otherone which requires LIT.  Decided against the hard drugs that the clinic recommended (I was too scared).  The doctor that rec Allan Beer tests put me on a type of Mushroom and herbs, my natural killer cells and TH1&2 are now normal, which i am over the moon about.  I am awaiting one further check up test re need for LIT.
Apr 10 #5 (CRGH) I start downregging on Sunday, long protocol, steroids, PGS. maybe egg hatching and blood thinning drugs.  Basically they are trying everything for me.
I am up and down like a yo-yo....i know i must be positive.  So many of my friends are falling pregnant so easily (many had or are on No. 3) and however pleased i am for them that they don't have to go through what we are going through i just cry and cry when they tell me.

Does anyone know of a good therapist who can sort my head out??  near SW london?

Thanks for reading xxxx


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## Momito (Nov 16, 2009)

Hi Tomo

Reading your post, you´ve been through so much, so much disappointment and anxiety, your response to your friends´success is totally understandable.    Although I always feel happy for friends and family who get pregnant without any difficulty (wouldn´t wish this journey on anyone) you can´t help but wish it was you announcing the news.  It is a bit like "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" but with babies.  And it hurts to feel it will never happen for you.

Unfortuantely I no longer live in the UK and so can´t recommend any therapists...but I see that you are at the CRGH.  I was a patient there last year when it was known as the ACU.  They do have recommended therapists if you feel you need to talk to someone, but from what I rememember they were North London based...but it may be worth asking them again to see if they have any good contacts in your area?  I believe the councillors also do sessions on the ´phone.

Wishing you all the best for your next tx...hope this one will be the one for you!

Momito
xxxxx


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## Sarah061 (May 27, 2008)

Hello,

So sorry to see that you have been through so much already, i wish there was something i could say to take the pain away.  Would have liked someone to do that for me!  I remember crying all the time when we were trying, it was as if everyone i knew was getting pregnant!!! I wish you all the luck in the world for your next attempt.
  

Sarah x x


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## Fluffywithteeth (Sep 25, 2006)

Hi Tomo
I can't recommend someone I'm afraid - when I had a failed cycle at the Bridge I saw a counsellor and he just made my skin crawl!! I really hope you do find someone. Could you GP recommend someone?

You've done so much to create a child - I really do hoep this will be the one for you. Try not to beat yourself up about having a Positive Mental Attitude - if it were as simple as that we'd all have had babies with our first shag!! I was convinced my last tx had failed - I was the least positive I had ever been... and that was the one that worked! Take good care of yourself. It's natural to feel up and down - go with it. Remember how mcuh you will love your child - that's all the positive vibe your embies will need

big hugs fxx


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## fairywings (Feb 19, 2009)

and welcome to Fertility Friends Tomo 

I'm sure you will be familiar by now with the boards, but I will leave you some useful links. Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

This may interest you.....
*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. The London board may have some ideas for you regarding the therapists?It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 

Keep in touch

Fairywings xx


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## Rachelxxx (Jun 20, 2009)

Hi Tomo

There's a fantastic hypnotherapist, Dr John Butler, in London, who I can not recommend more highly.  He's not a fertility specialist, just a people specialist.  I'm sure he'll be able to help you feel much better.  He's very easy to find if you google him.

Best wishes

x


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## TaraAbel (Mar 9, 2010)

Hi did not want to read and run, I know it is hard to keep positive but we have to try   

Wishing you lots of luck and baby dust 

Tara x x x


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## liggsy (Feb 9, 2010)

Hi Tomo, just wanted to say hello and welcome you to the boards. So sorry to see all you have been through, so much for 1 person! you must be a very strong lady and i wish you all the luck in the world for your forthcoming cycle. Really hope this will be THE one for you     xx


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## cljudith (Apr 26, 2010)

Hi there,
If I can be of any help, I had recently done LIT with Clinicheck and they managed to raise my anti-paternal antibodies from 15% to 41% (which is excellent). I am now trying to conceive naturally and if this doesn't work will go for IVF.
Nevertheless the treatment lasts for 3-6 months. They can be contacted on 0845 6100670 and they are based in central London. 3 weeks ago their waiting times were 4 weeks-need to check this again with them.
Best wishes
Judith


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## bearhug (Jun 19, 2009)

Hi tomo.  I know exactly how you feel, I posted something about the subject of friends pregancies and got some great responses from people, I'll see if I can dig out one that I got from someone that hit the nail on the head. I'll have a look tomorrow night as I'm off to do my injections in a minute and then to bed, i just didn't want to read and not reply. Take care of yourself. I don't know of any therapists but what's helped me is taking to everyone on this website and seeing that I'm not alone in having those sorts of feelings


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