# Being too impatient?



## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Hi I'm struggling with what feels like an age since my initial visit so am wondering how longs things like this took for others. I appreciate that there is a time span to the whole adoption process that can't be rushed but am right at the start of my journey and feeling frustrated.

I had my initial visit a month ago and was lucky to get on a preparation course straight away. I was told three weeks ago though that my allocated social worker would be in touch that week but have heard nothing. When I manage to speak to someone I was told that my case hasn't been allocated yet so there is nobody tasked to ring me. So it's over a month now since initial visit and I remain without a social worker and with no glimmer of the assessment starting. I know people are really busy but I so want to get going and just want to know if I'm being particularly impatient and whether a month without anyone updating you is usual or acceptable?


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Not acceptable bur probably not unusual....
I would contact them weekly until you get some sort of answer, it's all very frustrating xx


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## pyjamas (Jun 24, 2011)

Unfortunately in my case every stage of the process took forever!  We eventually got gorgeous our little girl over two years after our initial visit x


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## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Thank you both for replying. I feel like I'm being a pain keeping on at them all the time but I work with people myself and don't think it's acceptable to leave people hanging about for so long, unless there's a uniquely valid  reason. Pyjamas somehow I have a feeling my experience may be drawn out like yours. I guess if I'd not had so many years battling with an incompetent (in many ways, not all) NHS IVF service I'd have more energy for this fight. Sometimes you just get tired of fighting though eh!?! Thanks again though. Glad you got there in the end Pyjamas and hope you did too crazyspaniel.xx


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## alig1972 (May 12, 2011)

Hi

As you will see from my signature that we started the process on the old system over 4 years ago, so waiting is my specialty!! 
Are you with a LA or a VA?? Only say that as we found the LA almost impossible to get any answers. 
I would chase them as you need some sort of answer as to what the hold up is and how long they think it will be before you are allocated a SW. 

Good luck x


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## tinkytoes (Aug 27, 2016)

Hi we are super lucky in that it has taken us eight months, we go to panel in a couple of weeks. Keep at them.


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## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

Thanks for your replies girls. I've spoken with the manager who has said that there are two members of staff off and she'll try to allocate as soon as she can. No indication of when that will be though. I'm just kinda fed up of being fobbed off to be honest as it's happening with my house too as got a builder messing me about as well so guess my tolerance level is pretty low at the minute anyway! I know people are busy but it's not good when it's your life the other end of it. I've been looking on line to see if they have any performance indicators set for allocation times but of course could find nothing. Just know that in my jobs if I'd not contacted a family two months in I'd be lynched by my boss and rightly so.  I'm with the LA alig1972; I've been on the phone to the neighbouring authority today to see whether I can use any local authority service or if it has to be the one I'm resident in. I did have an initial visit with a voluntary agency too but opted with LA as their prep course was immediate and I didn't want to wait until March to start things.....the irony! 😕 Good luck with panel tinky toes 😊


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## pyjamas (Jun 24, 2011)

At one point during our long ordeal we discovered our SW had been off on long term sick leave for two months and nobody had taken over us. We had been forgotten!  x


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## jend0906 (Sep 28, 2012)

I was really lucky that it's only been one year since I attended my information evening and my LO has now been home 2 weeks.
I would keep pestering them until they get around to doing it, the more you're on the phone, it just keeps you in the forefront of their minds. Good luck!!


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## MrsD87 (Mar 26, 2016)

pyjamas said:


> At one point during our long ordeal we discovered our SW had been off on long term sick leave for two months and nobody had taken over us. We had been forgotten! x


This happened to us too pyjamas!


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## BethP (Feb 27, 2015)

Hi.

Just to give you a different perspective...

We first went to an open evening at the beginning of Sept 2016, then had an initial home visit mid Sept. After this visit we filled in all the forms and arranged medical checks etc and then received an email inviting us to stage one training at the end of November. We then heard nothing else.

At the training we asked about being allocated a social worker but we're told they were still waiting for our DBS checks to come back. We then heard nothing again until the beginning of January 2017. An email with stage two training dates was quickly followed by a phone call from our allocated social worker (who is really lovely). All of the assessment sessions have been carried out over the last two months and we are heading to panel (feeling really positive) on 20th March.

I think each local authority will work slightly differently. So for us after 3-4 frustrating months of not much happening, we had 2 very busy months. I think 6 months is now the national aim for the process so hopefully however your local authority works you should still hit this target.

Good luck xx


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## MissMayhem (Feb 24, 2013)

It's terrible isn't it! Sorry so many of you had similar experiences. Changes in the law were meant to speed this up so assessment process completed in six months max as children need permanence as soon as possible. I eventually got a social worker, waiting for appointment tomorrow. Fingers crossed!😊


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