# Horrible encounter



## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Had a run in with a horrible woman this morning who was working at ASDA and when she went to touch my LO I said -please can you not touch him- she got really indignant and replied that he was smiled, there's nothing wrong with him. i ignored her but she went on so I responded -because I'm his mother and I've asked you not to touch him-. She then came back to me a couple of minutes later and said in a really nasty tone -what? Do you think you're better than me?-
It was horrible. I complained and got teary in front of the manager I complained to. The manager was furious and said she was pulling her off work straight away to talk to her. is it bad that I hope she either got fired or a formal warning?? I was so angry and upset (lack of sleep didn't help) I just don't want to have to tell the entire world that he's adopted -all my family, friends and workmates already know. Surely I shouldn't have to explain myself to strangers?!
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[/size]Anyhow, wondered if any of you had encountered similar situations and how you dealt with them?

PS. Our LO was only officially placed with us 3 days ago.


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

aw what a horrible experience for you at this emotional time  you are doing the best for your new LO and being 'mummy bear' to potential 'attackers' .. you have every right to fend people off..without explanation  


many congratulations on being a mummy!


kj x


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## smudgerbabe (Sep 16, 2011)

oh god how awful and what a horrendous woman. All I can say is I am soooo glad you complained because so many people don't and these horrible people get away with it time and again. 

I think you were 100% in the right, people shouldn't just randomly try and touch your children anyway and certainly not get arsy if you've asked them not to!! I think I may have been tempted to not very politely tell her where to go! To then come back and insult you like that is totally inexcusable and in my book is a sacking offence 'gross misconduct' it should come under. er you can't insult your customers!?

I am so annoyed about it because I think these people get away with so much because people are too busy/upset/nervous to do anything about it.

However just try and put it in perspective - in the scheme of things this awful bat is nothing to you and your lovely life now with your LO. You feel emotional in general which just makes it worse. 

I was feeling a bit stressed and emotional the other day and this awful man on a book stall gave me a load of grief for no reason (I didn't buy anything that was probably the reason I was just browsing in my lunch break) and told me to bugger off to the charity shops etc - I remained polite but afterwards I was fuming!! If there had been someone to complain to I would have - how dare people speak to us like that! 

I rang a male friend who put it in perspective and he was like er yeh and who cares what this guy said? who is he in your life? no-one! Now we laugh about it!

Anyway you did exactly the right thing and no you don't have to tell everyone your LO is adopted - your word is final and you don't have to explain it - end of!! 

Good luck with everything!


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

You have every right to tell someone to leave your child alone, whether they are strangers or not, with no explaination!!!  Well done for complaining.

It really bugs me that people think they can just talk to or touch little children.  My DD fell over at a toddler group and this 'granny' picked her up just as I got to her, she hadn't been home long, and I snatched her out of the woman's arms saying something along the lines of  'do you often pick up children you don't know?' and walked off.

We have always told our DS not to talk to strangers and a couple of years ago, he was 4, an old lady started talking to him in the garden centre.  He just stood there and ignored her, doing as he was told for a change    and I had to tell her he wasn't being rude, just following the rules on strangers.  She must have thought I was a loonie but hey ho!  

OT x


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

How rude of her. If your LO had something catching or a poor immune system or something you'd be careful about who touched/got close as well, and your child's medical history is none of the public's business either. So you were completely right and it's none of their business why.


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

In fairness I have to say my mother is one of those people who is always very friendly to littlies she means absolutely no harm and it would not occur to her even with our son being adopted that there are reasons not to talk to them, saying that though this women had absolutely no right to confront you about it, she knows absolutely nothing about your family or your reasons for asking her not to and good for you for complaining.

Our son came to us at 6 years old and spoke to anyone and everyone and was extremely charming with it, I learned to grow a thick skin and take the looks I got off people with a pinch of salt when I would ask him why he was talking to them when he didn't know them.


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## Hearty (Apr 2, 2010)

You did absolutely nothing wrong. That woman had no right to do what she did  Whether the little one is adopted or not is irrelevant, no one should touch other's children.  Our little boy was born in Ethiopia and we adopted him at 6 and a half months.  We live in Ireland which probably sees fewer adopted kiddies, particuarly brown or black children with white parents.  We've had some right humdingers of comments and questions and some lovely ones too.  I tend now to smile and look  at people who ask inappropriate questions (ie "is he yours" whilst looking at me as if i've clearly slept my way around the country or the best one from a nurse: "that child is black") as if they're nuts.  But when things are blatant "that black child pushed my child", my husband lost it completely and went up to the woman who was obviously looking for a black family and got a fright when she saw a white daddy, and told her "that black child" is my son and dont ever refer to him by colour.  Even though our little one is only 2 and a half we talk about Ethiopia and his skin is brown like chocolate and mammy's is white like snow, to pave the way to stuff that'll be thrown at him in school.  But we celebrate that he's adopted, only however to people who mean anything to us.  People can be naturally curious and that's fine but once they step over the line then mother tiger appears in me!!!!


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