# Upset by silly comment



## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hi ladies 

Well i have gone and got myself all worked up over a silly comment made my my mom today even tho i know it was only said as fun .
Well anyways it was basically when i was a kid only about 9! I always said i never wanted children etc etc and i was adamant about it (i wish i knew what i knew now) and today i was talking to my mom sayint that if i could just have one child I'm not sure i would go through with all the Fertility treatment to have a second i would be contented at one as i feel very emotionally drained and she said don't say thing like that this is happening now because of what you said when you was young its judgement on you for saying you didn't want any and then she   and i know it was meant as a joke but i already feel like its my fault as DH has no problems   I know I'm being silly perhaps I'm being over sensitive i just wishpeople could be a bit more tactful 

Rant over ha ha thanks for listening "reading anyways   " 
Julie xx


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## Beathag (Jul 27, 2005)

Hi Julie,   for you. I know exactly how you're feeling. I said EXACTLY the same thing up until the age of 21 when I met my hubby. I always said I never wanted to have children (mostly to avoid the pain of childbirth!  ) Then when I reached 21 I changed my mind. Started trying in 2002 after we married and that's where the problems began! We have since had our ds but now I'm desparate for another and still having difficulties in ttc.
I have thought more than once perhaps this is karma for me not "wanting" them when I was younger. MANY MANY children say this when they are young and then "Grow Up" and realise they really do want a family of their own.

This is NOT your fault and please try not to take your mum's insensitive comment to heart. She probably didn't think before she spoke! If need be mention it offhand to her that the comment hurt your feelings and you would be happy if she didn't say things like that to you no matter how much she didn't mean to.

Take Care and try not to worry, Bxx


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hi B 

Thanks for you lovely words of suuport i know its daft to think it would because of a comment i made when i was young i too said it as the pain of child birth   i would kill for the pain now    im sure she did not mean it nasty but i think i will mention it anyways as i totally stressed out as having my results of my HSG tommorrow and vey nervous! just could of done without things like that being said . 
I hope you get your second BFP soon hun   keeping my fingers crossed for you 

Julie xx


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## Rosie P (Nov 10, 2005)

Hi Julie. I always wanted kids even when I was a kids myself, and when I found out we had IF problems I blamed myself for thinking I was always going to be a mum - I thought I'd jinxed myself. If we think about things hard enough we can always find something to be superstitious about that we've said or done, but if we do we'd send ourselves  .

I can totally understand why what your mum said upset you because we tend to blame ourselves anyway, so when someone says something like that even in jest it's bound hurt. What you said as a kid means nothing and I'm sure your mum didn't mean to hurt you, it's just that most people don't understand the pain of longing to have a child. You WILL get your turn to be a mum when the time is right.

Good luck hun and stay  

Rosie. xxx


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Thanks Rosie 
your right i would send my self   if i thought about everything have 2 black cats for a start   , congratulation on your BFP its good to see that it can happen even ater a while i hope it nice and sticky for you hun and you get your well deserved baby   

Julie xx


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## Lilyflower (Nov 16, 2005)

Hi julie mate 

Don't get upset by something u said when u were younger hunny. U wanna know what? I said the exact same thing 2 my parents when I was younger "huh, don't expect grandkids off me mind!!" is what i used 2 say all the time, but then i met DH and everything changed    I do so much want kids but it never even crossed my mind that it was because of how i used 2 feel about havin kids that i'm havin bother now.  U musn't think like that. We are not 2 blame 4 our struggle 2 get pg, it's just life.   

So, try not 2 get upset, I'm sure your mam didn't mean it, and I'm sure if she knew it'd upset u ,she wouldn't have said it in the 1st place.

Chin up sugar

LOL Lilyflower xxx


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

Hiya lily 

Thanks for the reply have also pmed you i hope this month is going well for you . 
i have decided not to let that comment get me down if i didnt have problems with IF i dont think i would hav taken it in a bad way just a touchy subject so got to be   for tommorrow thaks for everyones replies!!!!

Julie xxx


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## Rosie P (Nov 10, 2005)

julie0203 said:


> Thanks Rosie
> your right i would send my self  if i thought about everything have 2 black cats for a start  , congratulation on your BFP its good to see that it can happen even ater a while i hope it nice and sticky for you hun and you get your well deserved baby
> 
> Julie xx


Hi. I'm like that about magpies and there are loads around here so I send myself  

Thanks for your congratulations. I had really given up hope of the Clomid working for me when I got my BFP too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worrying myself stupid at the moment as I'm at the same stage I lost my last one, but I've booked in for a private reassurance scan on Tuesday, so I'm hoping that things will still be ok when we go for that. 

Thanks again hun and good luck - I hope the Clomid works for you. 

Rosie. xxx


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

hi rosie that post made me laught me and DH have a thing about magpies aswell   sill really when ya think about it    
gd luck for you scan on tuesday i hope it can put your mind at rest at least a little   
Julie xx


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

It is funny how we get paranoid about everything we have said or done and think that it has an effect on us ttc .. I am sure it has no effect at all and want to wish you all lots of          
for getting that magical BPF 
Cat x


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## SarahPooh (Nov 7, 2006)

Hi Julie

Just wanted to send you a  and say I sympathise, unfortunately people do make a lot of insensitive comments without meaning to or realising how much their words can hurt us... like the other girls have said I'm sure your mum wouldn't have said it if she had realised how much it would affect you, I'm also sure she didn't mean it.  And don't beat yourself up hun, I think to some extent we all blame ourselves for our IF and we really shouldn't, we should be kind to ourselves.  I worried for years that I wouldn't be able to have children, I have always wanted them but the idea of being pregnant or having a baby seemed too good to be true and now it turns out I was "right" but rationally I know I wasn't, it's just coincidence and plenty of women "know" they won't have children but they do!  And we will be 2 more of them!  

Keep that chin up girl and stay positive    

love Sarah x

PS Rosie very best of luck to you for your scan which I presume is tomorrow, really hope everything is perfect for you.  Lots of love and luck to you as well        

Sorry for hijacking your thread Julie


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## julie0203 (Oct 23, 2006)

hi cat and sarah 

thanks for the lovely messages i know your right that i have to keep my chin up , im currently waiting for an appointment at a new hospital for my OI injections so have to look forward to that (hopefully wont be to long)  
My dh said not to take the comment to heart he said unless you have experienced IF then people just wont understand which is right thats why i love this site  

Rosie- Good luck for you scan you deserve a happy and healthy pregnancy hun  

Hope everyone is well oping to see some more BFP soon  

Julie


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## wouldloveababycat (Mar 21, 2004)

Yes it is like a breath of fresh air coming on here isn't it .. you feel you can be honest and you won't be judged ..and we can all be   together  

Even when people say to me ..well can't you adopt ..it drives me mad as I think yes I would love to adopt but I would also love to have my own biological child .. its almost like as soon as you are diagnosed with 'infertility' that you should be grateful with anything offered (which of course we are) but sometimes you think ..just put yourself in my shoes for once .. often the people saying these things already have a brood of kids ! and it is not even like adoption is an easy route .. there are allsorts of hoops to jump through before being approved .. 

Ok that is my rant over with lol
Cat x


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