# Disillusioned



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I am about at my wits end and not quite sure what I am doing.

I was initially diagnosed as having damaged tubes. After 6 m/c I was informed that my problem was blood clotting disorders. Then an expensive test highlighted a raised killer cell count. After a recent failed IVF (in which I managed 6 eggs, 3 embies, twin 'excellent' embies put back but bfn and I was considered a poor responder) I did the AMH test and, on Monday, my Dr gave me the glad tidings that I came out at 'low fertility' but nearly bordering on 'no fertility'. As he put it....my ovaries are not in a good shape.

I admit that i cried and cried. Not because of my ovaries necessarily but because I am not sure how much more bad news I can come to terms with. The last 7 years have been a relentless assault on my heart, mind and body and I just do not know what to do next.

I know that this is a real 'woe is me' post and I should count my blessings, (something I do without fail every time I get kicked in the teeth because I feel bad for feeling bad), but this whole thing is just so hard and I can see no end in sight.

Sorry for bleeting, but any words of wisdom would help so much right now.

Katey


----------



## collymags (Jan 3, 2006)

Kateyl

So sorry things are so bad for you, my god lass have you been through the mill or what?? i had 3 years of being let down either naturally or through treatment and i was a wreck, so god knows how you keep it all together. have you at any stage said lets just take a break from all this babymaking??.  just so you can get everything else back in synch as such.  having said that being disillusioned is certainly acceptable for what you've been through, though painful. i bet those around you would bend over backwards to take away all this pain and anguish you've been through.  it sounds like you need some you, and us time without any pressure do you think that would be possible??.  you are in my thoughts lass, i do hope things get easier,        xx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
From reading your post, I think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! Why should you feel bad for feeling bad - it's normal to feel so down and heartbroken after such events that you've had. Why should you apologise for bleeting? If you can't 'talk' to us what are we here for? I 'admit' too, to crying and crying when more bad news comes along, whether it's another negative, or news of waiting lists/delayed tests that help one progress, or too many sperm antibodies to handle.

I am surprised though that the dr has said you've low/no fertility, considering you just got 6 eggs, 3 embryos and twin excellent embies put back in. What are the realistic facts, ie, is the dr saying you've low reserve? What's your FSH? Your IVF response, although negative, sounds pretty good. What did he suggest?

Keep in touch and pamper yourself, whilst you sort out the best thing to do next.

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Collymags and Lily

Thank you both for your lovely words. It really does help to hear from you because everyone in my 'normal' life has no idea what I am feeling and, as a result, I get all the usual crass one liners that make me feel worse - my favourite being...well, you can always adopt - (something I want to do whatever happens). My father sent me a wedding ann card and told me to get a move on as my time is running out!!!!! To which I replied, 'thanks for letting me know that! If I had known earlier then I wouldn't have m/c the last 6....silly me!' 

Collymags - congrats on the bfp!!! That must have been quite a shock!!!!! Fantastic!

Lily - in answer to your question....I saw the dr today and asked him what my chances of a baby are. He said he thought about 15-20%. That made me feel pants! Like you I said that a 50% fertilisation rate with good resulting embryos must be good. He said that they were good at day 2 but not necessarily good overall. Pants again!
My fsh is normal but my egg production with stims is, he says, not great, (this time my hormone levels are doubling or trebling during stims but there are only 4 decent follies and they are gowing slowly). I am set for retrieval next wednesday.

He said that he will be giving me a new drug (DHEA) if I get a bfn which I would have to take for 4-5 months and then try again. It apparently stores eggs that are due to ovulate and prevent them so that when I do stims they all pop back up again (that is the lay person's explanation). I think only 1 or 2 clinics do this so I must look into it further. Who knows.

It just frustrates me that something that most humans and animals can do is so out of my grasp. Why is my body behaving this way??

See....give me a blank space and I moan manically!

So, Lily, when are you due to start IVF? I too hope for you with all my heart.

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Katey my lovely,
My heart is breaking for you, I have so been in your spot (actually I still am just trying to forget it!!), when I got my low inhibin b i felt my world wa ending and thats not an exageration!  Noone in the whole world (not my cyber word of course) could understand all the offers from well meaning friend 'i'll have a baby for you' 'you can adopt' etc are no bloody help!!  You want your baby in your belly and why bloody should you not have that?  
I really think you can have too much information, you are producing eggs and were good quality ones last time?
You are in the middle of IVF which must be playing havoc with your hormones too.  (not that I'm taking anything away from you having a carppy day/ week/ few years.
I'll check in later to check in on you. XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura

I do love you! (hormonal, you are right!)

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Love you too!!!!!!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

P.s how was your scan today?


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

4 follies plus some smaller ones. Not growing as fast as last cycle but hormone levels are doubling (??)

Uterus is still there I can confirm!

Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
Good to hear from you. Maybe it's a good sign that they're growing slowly, I had in my head (from somewhere?) that it maybe improves the quality if they don't grow too fast - put me right anyone if I'm wrong.  

You asked about my IVF. I'm now on day 7 of downregging with 14 days before first scan and then hopefully stims will begin. I'm ok with the injections as we've just been through them 6 times (without the downreg bit), only difference is we had sex at the end of each stimming session, once two good size follicles were seen. We obviously need a helping hand! I was expecting more side effects with the buserulin but it's ok so far.

Just to let you know, I'm not good with the 'normal' people's conversation either. If anyone else asks me why don't I adopt, I'm going to scream so loud they'll wish they hadn't asked. I must admit to being a tad surprised by your father's card, but then I don't discuss my 'problem' with my family at all - it's just forever in the untalked background. He's obviously going to be a very excited grandad to be. Had my hair done today as a rare treat and booked in with a new girl: not only did she ask me if I had any kids/did I want any etc (what do you say to an 18 year old you've just met, who's about to go on her holiday with her first boyfriend for the first time?) but she then handed me a magazine with celebs babies on the frontcover and details of how desperate Posh is to have a girl, Madonna wanting another, Britney etc etc. THEN, on the way back to the car, I was handed a leaflet on free karate sessions for your child - help them with their confidence and concentration - if only. I just smiled.... and walked away, no doubt with my head hung low. Another day childless, scared stiff the childless days will never end.

Anyway, enough of our cyber IF talk. Look forward to hearing from you.
Love Lily.
PS, I can moan quite nicely myself, as you can see, given a blank space.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

Yes...you are so right! People just take it for granted that children are in our lives and never give a thought to the possibility that this might not be the case. I put on a lot of weight after the 1st IVF and subsequent m/c and, I must say, comfort eating - (I am on the way to getting rid of the excess pounds as we speak). But the number of people who either told me how fat i'd got or asked me when the baby was due was unbelievable! I would never dream of being so personal!

I own a children's day nursery (yes I am a self torturing mad person) and several parents have asked me how come I do my job when I do not have children! Why? Does having children mean that you are better equipped to play and nurture?? Why did they have children if previously they were not parents Do they have a special gift That's like saying to a prison officer that they cannot do their job until they have been a criminal. Go figure.

I saw the magazine you speak of at the train station today and I ran in the opposite direction!!!!

I like your theory about slow growers. I think I prefer it to my dr's theories. I will embrace that thought and get through this cycle.

Is Buserelin the sniffer It made my nose tingle like hell. I opted for the needle (mad again!). Was the menopur a month on month basis? You ovulated each time?? sorry quesions questions.

Here's to your down regging and my slow growers!

Katey


----------



## Wendy K (Sep 26, 2005)

Hi Katey,

I just wanted to send you some hugs     and to say docs do NOT know  everything!  Good luck and lots and lots of babydust coming your way for your house to shimmer so the stork knows which house to deliver to 

                       

Take care

Wendy K

xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Wendy K

Wow...that is a lot of babydust and very very much appreciated.
I am sending lots and lots your way too, (must confess at this point that I have no idea how to do the visual bit but the wish is still real). 

Have you started the september cycle yet Finger and toes crossed for you.xxx


----------



## Johanne (Aug 31, 2006)

I cannot believe that with 6 eggs, 3 embryo's and excellent transfers that you can be told you have not responded well. I was told I responded OK and I produced 6 got 2 embryo's and only 1 grade 2 was replaced. I have had 2 cycles 1 IVF and 1 ICSI and have just been told about an hour ago that if I respond similiarly during my next cycle I should consider egg donation, this was a bolt out of the blue and I havent stopped crying yet. I have been so so strong for 3 years of treatment and feel a bit like you but you should do it again and remain positive you had a great response, dont let them tell you otherwise.  I am lucky I have a sister that will donate but its not the result I was hoping for. Keep going and keep positive.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

How are you feeling today honey?   
When are you scanning next? When will Ec be?  Next week sometime?

I've still not bloody heard owt from the hospital  Grrrr!
XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Johanne....I know just what you are feeling and it is just horrid. I do not have any female siblings/cousins etc but my mum is on a one woman mission to become the oldest surrogate ever (66)!!!!! My dr is sick of her asking!!!!
I, like you, think that 6 eggs and 2 to 3 enbryos is a result! A natural pregnancy only has 1 egg normally and how many pregnancies (natural) go on to m/c in the very early stages because of embryo quality So I have decided that, with the exception of God, nobody can say what our real chances are. I am, after all, the girl they told would NEVER get pg naturally and I did 6 times - although I m/c - to their astonishment. So keep the faith and stay focused and positive if you can.  Hugs to you xxx

Laura...ooh that hospital! Have you badgered them sufficiently? When were you expecting to hear back?? I hope it's tomorrow.

I am back down to London tomorrow for my next onslaught of negativity. I hope the scan shows that the follies are growing. I do have really obvious af type aching - never had this before - so I am at a loss to understand why there are so few eggs appearing as I feel like I have a house brick in my lower tummy. 

Here's hoping.....! (for us all)

Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

hay love
I'm not a happy bunny.  Got my bloods back and my FSH has now gone up to 10, they are calling me back monday to let me know if I can continue this month or have to wait and test again next month. I feel as low as a low thing!  Was near to tears all day. Everytime I get even close to a little bit of positive thought it all comes crashing down. Feel like jacking it all in and fed up. 
Hope you are feeling better and them follies are growing nicely for you.
God life can be crap.  I have poor ovarian resevre and now crap quality too??  Whats the point.  Probably had too much wine!
I'll speak to you tom.
Hope your looking after yourself. XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Ok...well the whole fsh thing is confusing to me. Is it s'posed to be low Why is 10 bad?? (please excuse the ignorance).
What drugs have you taken to now
I know about wanting to jack it in but, as the whole world seems to be telling me - and so now I am inflicting the same annoying advice on you -, nothing good ever came too easily and when your bundle arrives it will be worth every bit of pain, (you see how you'd want to punch someone who says that to you!!!!! I can get away with it though as I am in the same boat!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My scab yesterday saw the same 4 follies and they had grown well. He has upped my dose to 600 iui of stims and I have to go to London tomorrow (sunday) to get another scan and test results. I may be getting my trigger shot on sunday night ready for er on Tuesday. It has gone so fast this time. I LOVE short protocol.
I am not positive or negative....I am just, err, reflective - whatever the hell that means.

I'm here if you feel down and want to rant....well, I am here whatever.
Katey


----------



## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

kateyl said:


> Ok...well the whole fsh thing is confusing to me. Is it s'posed to be low Why is 10 bad?? (please excuse the ignorance).
> 
> Katey


Hi Katey...here's some information on FSH (& LH)...

FSH & LH "normal" range tested between cd2-5...you need to be aware that different clinics may use varying measurements & ranges but these figures show measurement in iu/l

(follicular stage) LH - range 1.9 - 12.5 iu/l
(follicular stage) FSH - range 2.5 - 10.2 iu/l

FSH levels to indicate ovarian reserve:
under 6 = Excellent 
6 - 9 = good 
9 - 10 = fair
10 - 13 = diminished
13+ = hard to stimulate

I also found these ranges which someone else was given, so as you can see, the different labs have used slightly different ranges but gives you a rough idea...

Follicular: FSH 2.8 - 14.4 LH 1.1 - 11.6
Midcycle: FSH 5.8 - 21 LH 17 - 77
Luteal: FSH 1.2 - 9.0 LH 0 - 14.7

There's more info on this website...

http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/hormonelevels.html#female

Hope that helps...
Good luck
Natasha

_This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites_


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi katey,
Yes Fsh is nmeant to be low as Natsha showed you, but mine is hgh!!  10 for my age is really crap should be about 5-6 which it was 2 months ago so dunno why it is being naughty this month. But oupled with my low Inhibin B result I' guessing it all means i'm an infertile murtle, baron sharon or whatever you want to call it!!!
 positive laura!!! Come on you can do it!!!!  It could be worse could have been 17 (yes it was that high in Jan but I was hoping that was as I'd just had surgery). Oh dear.

Anyway on to you!!  Wow great... I thought you were in London anyway?  My clininc is shut on sundays?! EC is Tuesday??  Does your clinic knock you out for EC?  mine doesn't and I'm really scared (although at this rate I won't even get that far!!).

Anyway we are painting the kitchen... just having a tea break... best get back to the chores!!!

Hope your resting and eating lots of protein!  Apparently very good for the wee eggs!

And good attitude to have... realistic thinking... wish everyone would stop telling me I'll be preg for xmas... cos realistically there is a damn site more chance of me NOT being preg for xmas!!!

   - Grrrrrrr!!! So fustrated with my bloody crap body!!!! 

Come on Katey's eggs grow grow grow!!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura & Natasha

OK I have to admit I am being really dense. I looked over the numbers at least 1 million and 68 times and I still don't get it. Maybe I am too hormoned up to understand.
I have been told that my fsh is normal but my amh was bordering on low to no fertility..which is s'posed to be a contradiction in terms...oui??

I am bewildered by it all. In 7 years I had 3 cycles of IVF: (1 egg = 1 embryo, 6 eggs - 3 mature - 3 embryos and I will let you know about this cycle on Tuesday) and 6 pg (all m/c) which were achieved naturally within 2 months of trying. So how can I have low to no fertility Surely that must mean my eggs are ok

Which is why, lovely laura, I do not want you to pay any heed to these results of yours because, in my very humble and inexperienced opinion, they are contradictory. The proof of the pudding is in the eating (ok call the sayings police!) and I think we should see what occurs and only then can we put the pieces of the puzzle together (that's what my dr says!!). Plus your fsh has gone all around the houses so it has not been consistently pants.

What d'ya say to that?

Yes I was in London today (my dr seems to work every second of the week) and I had a scan and bloods. All 4 big follies over 2 cm and there are smaller ones which he never seems to mention (mmm). So I am having trigger at 10 pm and ec on tuesday at 8 am. I am sedated and it knocked me right out last time...loved it! Felt zip. Best doze I had in weeks. Don't panic about ec, you'll be ok. I know a lady who did ivf 20 times (2 children) and she chose to do ec drug unaided so that her husband could be there and she said it was fine.

How's the kitchen going??

K


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well my little hormone encrusted buddy.... FSH shoudl be low..... Inhibin should be high!!!!  Grrr!!! maybe they just accidently mucked up my results and got them the wrong way round!!!!  

Anyway I'm feeling a bit better, other girls on the barts thread think 10 will be ok, its not great but one lady is 35 weeks pg and started with a FSH of 11!  So still hope!  Just!!!  And tim has super sperm of course!

Oh EC tue!  How exciting!!!  Please please please let it work!!!! Please!!! I need some inspiration!!!

Don't even ask about the kitchen, we have been BnQ about 4 times have changed the colour scheme 3 times and it curently is a mess!! We are both covered in paint and place is a bloody mess!!  Tea making facilities are in the lounge and everywhere is covered in bits of wet peeling wallpeper!!  We are just settling down to some wine! Got late start tom so will have a good scrub in the morning... gonna sleep dirty?!!  I'm feeling lazy... and cracker is about to start!

And for the EC is sedated complety out of it?  As mine says sedated but not general anespetic??  I'm scared, I have a phobis of having things up me girls bits since my ep... even a smear test!!  I cried after my internal scan too??  I'm a bit mental!  Get all upst by it and cant have an awake EC as I'll have a hysterical hissy fit!!

Oh no its Monday nearly!!  Bugger...still I have a few coushy days planned and not back in the office til Thursday!! 

Good luck Tue if I don't speak to you tom. XXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

cracker was pants! good job prime suspect is on soon, (oct 15th..I emailed ITV!!!)!

sedation is asleep...well i was out for the count!

Do not fear girly bits probing...it is all in a good cause and, when you have the baby, you will have no choice! (but how exciting).
Imagine my horror when, at the last ET, my embryos are delivered by an embryologist who is so handsome I think I may die of shame - seeing as he met my crown jewels before he met my face! It was so awful that I can cope with anything now!!!! (the only problem is, if we are successful and get embies this time, (please God), he is there again! ouch!).

So when do you hear next
K


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Your so bloody right cracker was such a let down we turned off in the middle and watched the 100 best cartoons!!  Its without a trace tonight - I love that and yes the reurn of prime suspect wonderful!!

The flat looks even worse in the light of day than it did last night.. ops!!

Well they are calling today if they are going to reschedule my IVF, i hate that, if they don't call I'll be worring that they just forgot!

OH EC tomorrow!!  did you jab last night?  Did you do it yourself?? ouch!  I'm such a woose!

Oh handsome embryologist!!  Just make sure you have a wee trim up and don't leave a bit of toilet paper stuck to ya girls bits now that would be embarrasing!!  he he!!

I'll try to get on later to wish you luck for tom!!!!  Ohhhhhh!!! Exciting!!!!!
XXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
My you and Laura have been busy. I just returned from a short break ths am (went Thursday) and had a chuckle at you two.... Just wondered was the ET so bad because of Mr Hunky or not nice anyway?? I'm a tad worried about it.

You asked about my treatment - yes I'm on buserulin injections (not spray) - I'm like you and would rather do the needle bit and yes I did ovulate eveytime with the 6 goes of Menopur, one month after the next. I was so excited the first 3 to 4 times as I always showed a couple of good size follies, high progesterone and high oestradiol (however, reading back maybe I shouldn't confuse the conversation with talk of more hormone levels!?). Anyway, by the 5th and 6th sex sessions I was ready for a helping hand - we did our bit with enthusiasm but it wasn't quite so 'OMG this could be it', so here we are.... Day 12 of downregging. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and give it our best shot. Will go through it again if it's negative, but pray so much we will be lucky as everyone. (Statistically, a few of us should hit the jackpot).

Glad to hear your follies are growing and look forward to the next few days news. I have such lovely feelings for you that it's going well and wish you all the luck in the world  

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Lily - hope the d/r is going well and you'll soon be on to the stimming?  How are you feeling?  I'm due to start my first IVF in 12days!  Bit nervous.  Hope I don't go mad with the hormones can't get too much off work.  Hope I don't start shouting and crying etc in the office!!

Katey - I assume your having a night away from the comp... hope your having a nice soak in the bath and pruning your bits ready for the dishy sex god tomorrow!  Do hope it goes ok honey.  Is DP all tensed up and ready to perform his duties... it always makes me chuckle that bit!  Tim says in the cubicle they have the funniest selection of porn... all sorts... fat lady porn, old lady porn, asian babes, you name it they had it!! I did comment he managed to have a good look through them all considering he was only in there about 3 minutes!!  Bless!

Anyway ladies sending you all babydust! XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura & Lily

I am not taking a comp sabbatical, I have spent a long day getting work sorted and a train to the big smoke as I have to legs erect at 8 am. And never you fear, I have brought my Philips mange tout trimmer with me and A LOT of moist toilet tissue to keep it all fresh as a daisy.  My biggest fear is having windy pops when I am out cold what with all the air circulating and them pushing stuff in and out (ok too graphic maybe but a real fear al the same).

Lily - so 12 days of down regging .... any idea when stims will start Did you get any side effects from the buserelin I did not down reg this time but last time - long protocol - I got such hot flushes!!! I was 'glowing' all over!

ET was only bad because I was awake whilst 101 people gawped at my bits (including the adonis) and that felt a bit 'exposed' but wholly necessary. Also I had to drink water to raise my  bladder for easy access to the uterus...but I went a bit mad and it wasn't really going through so I upped my intake and after 45 minutes on the table I thought I may pee onto the dr's unsuspecting glasses. I have never felt pain like it.
The ET itself was easy peasy. EC too. I was scared about EC for obvious reasons but it was ok because I was, as I said, out cold.

Laura - Your dh was lucky! Robin got a 1970's swimwear annual!!!! Not at all 'useful'!
Don't panic about the jabs - they really are ok once you get over the fact that you are stabbing yourself. No pain at all really. The hormones are fine too. In fact it flies by. I know you'll be good. Is the 12 day to a start definite Oooooh how ecxiting!!!

Anyway...wish me luck and pray I get a few eggies (good ones, of course)!

Hugs etc...Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh its all over and done with now!!!  You must be chuffed!  let us know how you got on as I'm very nosey and like to be kept informed of everything!

I'm working from home today aka, painting the kitchen again! Joy!

Anyway hope your taking it easy and the little men and mixing with your eggs as we speak!

XXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
How did it go - hope you're ok? It seems like Laura and I are as nosey as each other and can't wait to hear how you got on....

Re the buserulin: it's ok, I'm not having any side effects really - I am generally very warm but no sudden hot flushes. Don't worry about the hormonal side effects either Laura - if anything I'm much calmer and relaxed than before (perhaps it's the happiness I'm finally on the IVF cycle).

BFN, Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hello girls

well...I am home!!! Long story long.....(!)
Got to hospital at 8 am and glad the ec was early as I was nil by mouth and more than a little in need of some tea.
Completed all the forms etc and then I was whisked into the loo to change into fetching theatre garments. After a quick sit on the loo I wiped copiously with moist toilet paper (remembering Laura's advice!!!) which was daft seeing as i'd just stepped out of long shower!!! Then onto the theatre bed where the anaesthetist (sp) put the needle into my hand and gave me a pre-med that sent my eyes rolling....BUT NOT BEFORE I CLAPPED EYES ON THE EMBRYOLOGIST!!!! Shame!!!
Then I got anaesthetic and it was goodnight and good luck!
Awoke in the recovery room and discovered, from dh, that we got 6 eggs!!! 4 good and 2 smallish.
I then ate a grotty biscuit and made my way to Liberty's where I shopped for Great Britain and, because I had endured so much (!!!!!), dh refused me nothing. Good day!
I have to cal at noon tomorrow to find out if we have any embies and I am nervous as hell. This bit is so hard. Are there any eggs? Did I ov already?? Did they fertilise?? Did they make it to day 2 Rollercoaster!!! 

That's the news!

How's you 2

Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Woooo hoooo!!!! Thats fab!  6 little eggies!!  Thats more than you thought a?  You thought 4 right?  ^ is good well done you.

I'm impressed with you ability to shop same day as having an op (albeit a little one!!)  There was me worrying thinking of you curled up on the sofa in too much pain to get to the laptop and you where out bloody shopping!!!!! 

Great news.... I'm so chuffed for you!!

I'm in Brighton tom with work then meeting up with my friend so won't be home til late and then Thurs going brick lane after work for a curry with my mate from Hastings!  So not going to be about too much but I will do my best to pop in and catch up with your wee beany babes!!

When will ET be? Friday?  Then the dreaded 2ww!

Laura XXXX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh update on me....

I've finished the painting... very productive working from home day 

Now just to lay the flooring but that will be at the weekend busy few days ahead.

I've been to the gym this eve too... very productive day for me!!

Take care honey pie and will speak to you soon!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

ET will be on Thursday (day 2). Can't believe you won't be around!!! I'll post what I know in case you get a chance to peek.

As for the shopping....I am disgusted with myself really. I should have taken things easy but I am useless at sitting around. When in London....shop! That's my motto.

I feel a bit jaded this evening though and have af pains but not that bad at all really.

Any news from your hospital

K


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

oops posted before I saw your #2.

You have been busy!!!! How was the gym? I joined 2-3 weeks ago. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Walls looking good?


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

well it looks a bit cleaner, only cheap and cheerful we are hoping to rent this place out next year and move... no room for the twins in a one bed flat!!

Gym was good... i've been a member for years and go sparadically (is that a word?)  feeling really fit at the moment... but i wouldnt say I enjoy it, i go as i get fat easily and as I'm short a little bit of weight makes me look like a weeble!  I lost 2 stone when I was ill at the begining of the year, stone back on but trying to keep the last one from returning!

Cheese and wine and crisps are my down fall!!

Sleep tight honey, keep me posted about those embies. XXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Wow Katey - 4 GOOD embies: that's fantastic. I can understand your worries now until midday tomorrow - it's the time I'm most dreading (obviously not taking the 2ww into consideration). So pleased you went shopping - you're worth it and deserve it!!

mmm Laura - cheese and wine - yummy. Good job we're only online and not having a party as we wouldn't be very good for each other! Enjoy the curry - I love any with lots of spinach in....

Can't wait until tomorrow Katey - do let us know how you get on: I work from home so should get near the pc every now and again after noon.

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Mmmmm.... sag prawn!!  Yes we would be terrible for eachother... we must vow never to meet!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I like sag chicken...it is THE best ever!

Can't make that vow as one day we will have a baby party....and have lots of cheese, wine & crisps (and breast milk).

I am feeling a wee bit odd. I mean, dh and I are discussing this that and the other whilst our potential children are forming in a petri dish 100 miles away! That is so bizarre! Freaks me out a tad. I wish I cold be there watching them non stop. I do hope those eggs become embies. Scared.

Well night night you two. laura have fun on your travels over the next few days and only 11 sleeps left until down regging!
Lily ... have a lovely evening and only a few sleeps left for you until ec!!! (stims fly by).

Hugs, katey xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Afternoon Katey,
It's 12:13 and I'm reporting for further updates.... Looking forward to hearing frorm you and hearing your news. Love Lily. xx Thinking of you.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

Well, new is in. I fertilised 2 an now i need to wait for 24 hrs to see if they divide.

I am happy in one respect....I hate the thought of freezing my embryos and so this takes that problem away. BUT, I am upset that my eggs are not playing the game. Out of 6 eggs, 4 supposedly good, I fertilised 2. BUT I should be happy that I have 2....you see round and round I go!

Anyway I am donning my marigolds and cleaning like mad so I will pop off for now.

Thanks for checking in....it is so lovely to have you both.

Soppy over...ta ta for now....Katey xxx
ps hope you are both good. any news?


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
So glad to hear from you - I think it's good news! I've been told that the norm is 50% fertilisation, so if you had 4 GOOD eggs, then that's 100% normal. I read about a lady a while ago, who only fertilised one, it went on to divide and she gave birth 9 months later to a wonderful bundle of joy. Really looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow. Good idea to be doing something to occupy your mind.... Your babies are in very good hands.

Lots of love, Lily. xx
PS With all that talk of curries, I'm making chicken sag tonight, with extra sag! Will be thinking of you and your little ones, as they keep warm and snuggle down.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

And i'l be thinking of you and that chicken sag! I am so hungry!!!

What you say makes good sense and it has helped no end. Thank you.

Fingers crossed for an ET tomorrow and then, well, who knows!

Hugs Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello ladies,

well can you believe it, I went to brighton and forgot my bloody purse!!  My mate was there though and so she had to pay for everything!!  We went out for nice food ..... I had pumpkin risotto and pear tart for pudding! MMmmm!  Going to brick lane or a nice curry tom... prob gonna have peshwari nan, taka dal, bringal bargi and maybe prawn dansak!!!  MMmmmm I love lentils!!  

Sorry... off on a tangent!

Well 2 little babies growing in a pot!!  I reckon they are a little girl and little boy! Perfect!  Lily is right i've heard 50% fertilising is the norm.  and I agree with you about the freezing thing... I will do it if I have some over but when you think about the poor thaw rate and poor birth rate, is it worth it I did post that once and a lovely lady pointed out her twin girls are frosty babes so it obviously dos work sometimes!

Well transfer all ready to go ahead tom??  Fab

Lily - hope your dinner was lovely!!  Where are you?  where are you having your treatment?  Oh all go for you too soon!!

Anyway I'm off to eat some chocolate I bought in brighton (or my friend did he he!!)

Laura XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

P.s. I was very impressed with your 'check up' post at 12.05!!  very impressive!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I must say that you 2 are not good to be around when a girl is on a diet!!! STOP with the food talk before I climb the walls!!!

I am getting ready for tomorrow and nervous as hell. My mother, the tower of strength that she is, (not), said that she was 'disappointed' with my fertility rate! I explained Lily's theory and she said that it made her feel better. Why the (bleep) should I be making her feel better? My family are something else!

Laura - can you get your purse before tomorrow I have done that so many times ... it is such an awful feeling. Great friend you have though!

Liliy - I too was very impressed with your 12:05 posting! It will take longer for me to get tou you tomorrow as I have to get back from London.

Do you think the train journey will jolt them too much

Stressed!!!

Hugs Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm sure the kids will love the train journey!

I'm home now was just in Eastbourne/ brighton for the day.  Back to London tom and then out for a curry...mmmmm food!!  So am reunited with my purse!  I had to flash my boobs at the man on the dartford toll to let me through without any money!!  (joke!)

And then friday meeting with my pregnant friend from work... he he can go to the pub and drink in front of her!!  she can then drive me home!! He he!!  She is the one who has been TTC for 5 long years, just about to start IVF and bang!  Baby due in Jan!  Lucky moo!

Anyway I have an early start tom so off to bed.  Night Lily, Night, Katey, night little babies in your petri dish!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Nighty night.

Have a great time in London!!!

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I live and work in London!!! I hate it and it is full of sweaty people!!  Give me brighton anyday!!

hope goes well tom. XXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey and Laura,
Just reporting for more news: thinking of you.

Hope the trip was ok. Your mother is obviously very nervous! I haven't told mine about the IVF - I couldn't bear the stress of them knowing every detail and criticising. They very much believe in fate and don't think I should be interfering with nature. But what are medical advances if not to work alongside nature and treat people's misfortunes that they have unfortunately been predisposed to before birth?

Really looking forward to hearing from you.
Lots of love, Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey girls....the cargo is safely on board - at 1:34pm.  I saw them on a screen attached to the microscope....that was the 1st time that ever happened and it was mind blowing! 2 circles (ish) with dark dots in the middle! The embryologist said that the 2 cell was a 3 out of 4, (4 being the best), with less than 10% fragmentation and the 4 cell was a 2-3 out of 4 with less than 25% fragmentation --- apparently that is fine. Phew!

I am so nervous now I dare not even sneeze!

Laura - I used to live in London and I miss it but you are so right, Brighton is way way better! Hope you enjoy that curry!
Lily - I wish I never told anyone because I get so many questions and sympathetic arm squeezes! But i am hopeless at keeping quiet about it!!! What's happening in your cycle now 
Oooh, Laura is 8 days and counting!!! That's only a week of sleeps!!

I am off to vegetate on the sofa now. I just got Sky + installed and I am ready for some satellite r&r!!!

Hopefully catch up later! Hugs from me and the 'circles'...Katey xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Wow Katey, what fantastic news! I'm so pleased. Now you snuggle down and smile a lot - it sends out good hormones even if you don't feel like smiling! I bet you're really chuffed! Must say I didn't realise you were going for ET today, thought it was just 'division' results - you took me way by surprise!

I'm ok, looking forward to the stimming and scans...

Lots of love, Lily. Keep us posted on how you're feeling. xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh that sounds really exciting!!  

Will try to post later... at work... just off for me curry!!!! Mmmmm!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi you 2.

What news Lily how's the stims going?? Laura are you getting ready to rumble

Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
I just read your other post about feeling numb. Although I'm 2.5 weeks behind you, I can imagine how you're feeling. Feeling numb is a great way for your body to protect itself. After all you've been through, you're no doubt (as I am) scared to embrace a pregnant future, where we give birth in 9 months time. However, like Minow said, you've got two embryos inside of you right now, and I think you have a real good reason for being somewhat excited and proud of getting so far. Even if you're secretly happy for the next two weeks, it won't make a negative result hurt any more, as we all know how debilitating those are, whether you've allowed yourself to be excited and hopeful or not. At the end of the day, getting a bit excited can surely only do good - we don't know really if it helps, but it could do.

Time to rub your tummy and say hi to your little ones.....  

Write soon. Thinking of you. (Getting more nervous myself as each day passes - I'm scared whether we'll get any fertilised! This whole journey is such a worry from the minute we start on it).

Lots of love, Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

It is the fear of a bfn that stops me from feeling but I think that I am feeling much more than my 'conscious' self is aware. I cannot fathom how something so easy for dogs and cats is just so bloody hard for me. 

I am already making decisions about whether I should go back for frosty when this fails or start the 4 months of DHEA and then do a new cycle...which sucks for my current 2 embies because it's like they are not there or their fate is already decided. Do you see what I mean

When is ec for you What scans have you had Follies? You will be fine, I promise. Laura too.

Whatever, i'll be here for you (& hopefully in a much better frame of mind!).


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
You're my kinda girl! - always analysing, planning and thinking, not allowing yourself to enjoy the moment. It's another self-preservation technique, wanting to plan ahead for every eventuality, and not wanting to be not in control. It's really good you're thinking these things - you are human afterall and it will help you cope if the worst does happen. Regarding the cats and dogs though, they do live by a much more instinctive basis, without too much reflection and analysis. They don't (as far as I know) undergo too much IVF, and so their bodies are not experiencing the part 'laboratory' process, which our bodies are supposed to go alongwith. The fact that we keep taking the pessaries for so long until our bodies take over, shows us that our bodies take a bit of time to acknowledge, accept and adapt to the new life placed inside. I look forward to being where you are now, as I'm sure, I'll be in the exact same frame of mind, not daring to accept, and planning for the bfn. Your brain and body has not even got used to them being there yet. It doesn't mean it's all over just because you're not feeling peachy cheeked and blooming.

Sorry, if I haven't helped, I think you're being very rational and normal.

Write soon, love Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

Yes...that is exactly what I am doing. I think it comes from hearing 'no' so many times! Even if I got a yes i would assume that a 'no' was around the corner!

By dogs and cats I mean having off spring. It is just so easy peasy for so many and I get really frustrated that I cannot do it. If I think about it for long enough I get an anxious stressful feeling in my chest and tummy. Does that happen to you

My mum keeps ringing and asking for news of symptoms. I explained that they would not have implanted yet so I should not really get symptoms. She was disappointed and said that she wished there was an outward sign by now! Sometimes I just want to scream!!!!!!

Well I am a cheery chappy!!!

You having a good w/e?

Hi Laura if you look in (xxx)

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello my lovely,
So sorry I've not been aroun much last few days... but I'm back now!!

How are you feeling?  

Anyway... bloody kids have pulled my gas pipe out of the wall so i have no gas... which means no hot water, no heatng!!  Grrr!  Council are coming around on Monday I hope so have had to use a precisous day of leave to sit and wait for them.  they have said they have damaged the pipe inside the kitchen and may have to pull out my kitchen cabanets!! I've just bloody decorated!!!

Been to see my nan today in a old folks place she was 80 yesterday bless her and then around to my sisters for a chinese as my nephews 8th birthday... and its my mums 58th birthday tomorrow! Phew!  

Anyway thats my moan for today!  Hope your well!

Hello Lily! Hope your doing well too honey.. you on to the stimms now?

Lots of love to you both. XXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey and Laura,
Katey, how are you? I think you need to remind your mum, that most naturally conceived pregnancies' first sign is a missed period, so as you've only just conceived (equivalent of day 14 ish of cycle), you've still a while before any signs should normally show. Even then the signs maybe pre-menstrual like. Hope she lays of a bit with the pressure! About the feeling of inadequacy of not being able to conceive as easily as some - yes it does upset me and yes I do think about it, especially as it's described as the most natural/beautiful part of human life. However, we can't do more than we're doing and with all the sadness and heartache this infertility journey brings, we don't need to keep beating ourselves with a stick as well. I intend to get off each train as they reach their individual destinations and hop onto the next one, with the odd restroom break in between. I just hope the train doesn't finish by taking me back to square one.

Sorry to hear about the young vandals Laura - as if life isn't hassle and frustrating enough, without having totally unnecessary things happen. No, I'm not yet on stims - I start on Wednesday. I'm just starting to get some side effects from the downregging, eg headaches (I never get them otherwise), very thirsty and a bit emotional - not a hormonal rage, just wanting lots of hugs and reassurance!

Anyway, love to you both. Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura
Cannot believe those little ******** did that to your kitchen after the epic decorating! Have they no soul I would...well it doesn't matter what I would do to them! So what's the news now? Kitchen cabinets to come out

You really have eaten around the globe this week!!!! I am so jealous. Would kill for a Dairy Milk bar. I have lost 16lbs though so i should carry on. It's difficult to diet when 'pregnant'. I am eating really healthily, little and often so they get all that they need. They also want dairy milk, however.

Lily I had it in my head that you were stimming now. Or did I I just don't know!!! Help!!! I got those headaches on downregging too. Annoying little tension blighters! Well I am sending you a big reassuring hug...(desperately looking for the link to those little pics but no go).

I love the analogy about the train. It's true too. 

Did either of you watch Birth Night last night? It was ok but I wanted to see a vaginal birth - not neccesarily live. What I realised is just how much we women folk go through.

Catch you later...K xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
No I didn't know the programme was on - let me know if it's repeated won't ya?

What's these pics you're talking about? If you mean the ticker train etc at the bottom of the profile, you just log on to www.tickerfactory.com and follow the instructions....

Thanks for the reassuring hug - much needed.

How are you doing today? Where's Laura - hopefully not too chilly as it's even colder tonight. Shame you're not on these down reg drugs yet Laura, as they give you a warm glow whether there's heating or not!

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Ladies,

Grrr!! still no gas!! Had people out today but they are coming nack tomorrow... hopefully will be sorted out then... still makes me keep visiting the gym!!  Even if it is only for a shower!

Oh I am off to get my drugs on Wednesday so that is exciting!!  Once I have them I guess it will feel more real!

Oh exciting Lily stimms soon thats good.  Eggs will soon be growing!!!  Is this your first go?  I liked the train journey analogy... although I get travel sick!!

Katey - How are you feeling?  Are you working or just chiling on the sofa....  Whats that I can hear??  I'm sure its 2 little embryos shouting they want some chocolate??!!  Go on have some you deserve a little treat!!  When is your test date?  

Anyway I'm at work so better get back to it!!

XXX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

p.s - I missed the prog on channel 5 too... was it a c-section then?  thats rubbish!

There was a really good prog on channel 4 a few months back about the development of the baby from conception to birth, was very interesting about the mothers viouce being recognised from about 5 months!  That had a birth at the end (I watched from behind a pillow!!) maybe it will be on channel 4 website, it was really lovely (except the birth!!)

Anyway we will all find out for ourselves next summer!! (fingers crossed!!) XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura you are funny! Behind a pillow!!!!! It was a live maternity unit for 2 hours and not 1 baby born vaginally but they did show a C-section live. The baby took ages to pink up and cry and I was fretting no end!

Apparently that Dr with the moustache will be doing and IVF programme this month. REally would like to see that.

I have had back ache all day long and now I am panicking about failure. I know it is most likely to be the cyclogest causing probs but that knowledge is not helping.

As for chocolate, I have just made a sultana tea loaf (very low fat and consists of sultanas, bran flakes, sugar, milk and flour) for later. Would prefer a brownie!

Lily...am not sure what pics I meant either. Will re-read and get back to you. You are right about the heating properties of down reg meds!!!!! I sweated for the UK!

Meds soon Laura. Yee hah!! Is that this wednesday ie 2 days?

Katey


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

Oh, ok I meant the little faces. I use 'quick reply' and there is no link to them.

Although I get them in my posts I never put them there!!!! (strange!!!)

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

No really it made my eyes water... a little head and a hand coming out of your girls bits!! Oh!  It all was stretched and oh I've crossed my legs thinking about it!!  Even tim looked a bit pale!

I get the drugs wed but think i start taking them on Fri.

Sorry Katey your sultana loaf isn't makingmy mouth water but good for you being good!!

The man with the moustache?  He the one that does child of our time prog I like him.  When is it on?

Anyway I've just got in and eaten my microwave meal and now have to go the gym for my shower!! Grr!

Take care ladies!

P.s. whats cyclogest?!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Cyclogest = progesterone suppositories. Mmmmm

The sultana loaf is pants!

K


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hmmmm!  they sound sexy - not!

I've made a consious decision today that I'm gonna be dead healthy through my IVF, was planning to be quite laid back but the girls on the Barts thread are talks about diet and how it efects your hormones... what are you doing?

I'm down to one cup of tea a day now... think I should give up completely?  I'm thinking if I do everything perfect if it doesn't workI can't beat myself up.  And sticking to a diet did bring my FSH down last time.  Oh but I love a glass of wine??!!  And my cups of tea!!!

Tim is a bit upset he's had a few cans of beer, he has been off today cos of the workman and a lady wa screaming outside this morning about 10am and he went out to help her and she was ****** about 6 months preg and saying her husband has just beaten her.   He tried to call an ambulance and she got up and staggered off.  Such a precious little cargo she has on board... what we would do for that luxury... and there is us denying ourselves a cup of tea and a choclate biscuit!  Ridiculous isn't it.   I'm getting all moody now... and not even on the hormones yet!  What am I like!!

Anyway, nice herbal tea and then bed... if only I have some sultana loaf to make my life complete!!!!

XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

you should pass on the loaf...trust me!

I drink tea...but decaf PG Tips which tastes exactly the same. I think that is ok. I have no caffeine as such...not even chocolate as it has caffeine. Got really bad headaches when I stopped (as I drank over 10-15 coffees a day at one time) but no sign of those now. Even when not ivf'ing I have decaf tea.

As for diet I need to lose a whole lot (at least 3 more stone - I have lost 16lbs to date). I tried loads of things but in the end the only real succss came with 'sense'. I have shredded wheat for breakfast (+ a slice of bread to make the steroids more palatable!!!), ham sandwich or soup etc for lunch and chicken/fish with veg or wholewheat pasta with tom sauce. In between I have found that apples kept in the fridge are delicious (Royal Gala especially) and the perfect snack.

It's not that exciting but it's working. Luckily I never really drink. Just never liked the taste so that is not a problem for me...(I am not a freak, I promise!!).

BUT I do miss chocolate & nachos!!!

Anyway...off to the land of nod now. 

Katey

ps I know just what you mean when you get upset about a pregnant lady abusing herself. We are looking into adoption and it breaks my heart (& makes me real mad) to see so many babies with foetal alcohol syndrome, drug addictions etc etc. Unfortunately life is so so unfair.


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey and Laura,
Hope you're ok Katey and feeling as   as possible. You two make me hungry, perhaps not for sultana loaf though. 

I must look at this Bart's thread and their discussions on diet and effects on hormones - unless you can summarise Laura.

I feel c**p today. I keep bursting into tears and my head hurts so much. I keep drinking the water, but don't feel like eating. I'm hoping I feel better after the scan tomorrow and my first day of stimming, as long as the scan 'says' so.

Look forward to hearing your news. Love Lily. xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay you two

Oh Lily sorry your feeling crappy, hope you feel better when you start the stimms tomorrow.. it will fly by once you are on them!

Katey - How are you feeling??  I've asked a couple of times and you've not replied!!  Are you ok?!  Oh and when is your test day or would you rather we didn't know? I underatnd that as not sure who I will tell about my test date... big day!

I thought that them decaf was bad for you as was full of chemicals? If its not I'll give it a go and try... I love my tea! 

Exciting day tomorrow I'm at the hospital signing the forms and getting my drugs!  

Good luck tom Lily!!

I'm off to see what I can russle up for my dinner in the cold gas less kitchen!!  May have to send out for a take out!

See ya later ladies XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily
I know that the drugs can make you feel so down. The stims bit is better, I promise. I say spoil yourself and have a bubble bath, (I never have one on the 2ww and I miss them terribly...I am not a shower kind of girl), grab a glass of something and veg out! What time is the scan Will they tell you straight away?

Laura pops. How are you? tomorrow is drug day is it not Hurrah.

Well I had a bad bad bad day. I was stuck at home all day waiting for ADT to put our alarm system in and it went sooooo slooowly. Like pulling teeth. Then one of my nursery nurses called and asked if I could go up to work and see her (I have a nursery in case you were unaware) when she told me that she thinks she is...yes you guessed i'm sure....pregnant. Apparently forgot to take her pill on holiday - left it at home somewhere - but did the do anyway and lo and behold 10 days late. Complete lies. She is a control freak so I know that she would never have forgotten her pill. She bought a house with boyfriend recently and now wants the whole package so did what she had to do. He has no idea. So I go and get her a test (why I ask myself) and we did it and yes, bfp.

Practically hysterical at the thought of having to tell her boyfriend tonight. I said you are a woman with a child now, a mother, so get a grip and be the adult you so wanted to be. 

Why tell me first? Why tell me at all right now My girls know that we are waiting so why why why
This is just like last time. My brother announced his girlfriend's pg the day before our results. I cannot believe this has happened again.

I am not in a good mood...you may be able to tell (!!!)

I know that you 2 will understand, nobody else gets it.

Katey xxx

ps sorry i'm whining

pps that sultana loaf is coming to you both for Christmas!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Sorry Laura...did not realise I did not answer...my head is a whirl.

Well, put it this way...I have so many symptoms (headache, watery cm, vivid red nips, back ache, twinges, dizziness, af cramps) but I know that the probability is the progesterone supplements as they mimic pregnancy.

So who knows??

My test date is a week today. no secret...i will definitely let you both know...we are ivf buddies now.

I hope you tell us too (pleeeeaaaaase)

K


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh Katey  that is sounding good!!!  I'm so excited,..... another week! Blooming heck!!  Are you off work until test day?

I didn't know you had a nursery... hmmmm thats handy to know!  You offer a discount for twins??!

Hmmm your work mate.... Grrrr!!  Thats bloody annoying how dare she barge in and steal your thunder!! I had one of my social workers come to my when we out for a pub earlier in the year same thing... but she was negtive, was awful she wanted to get rid if it if she was preg (only a young girl and was mid way round her world travels!) Was awful talikng to her about it and being supportive... when really i wanted to dive down there and nip it out to pop in my tum!!!  But she was negative and i ended up telling her all about me blah blah!  Think she pretty mean if she knows your situation.

Sorry your having a very boring day!!  I've been at work all day and did nothing.. you know them days when you just stare into space all the time!!

Still not got any gas! Grrr! XXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

No gas Not Grrrr, but bbbbrrrrrrrrr!

Of course you can have mates rates at nursery! Only if there is room though seeing as my two will be in there also! You and Lily are in London though? That would be 90 miles to travel to Leicester every morning and night!!! MMM I see a flaw in the plan!

K


----------



## sugary (Feb 17, 2006)

Hi Girls 
Dont know if you're still reading this post but just wanted to send you all a big hug!!!! Just had an inhibin test today and terrified of result. Like you guys i was gutted to hear of my FSH result (initially 15, but has fallen now thank god, it feels like the end of the world....).
xxxx.


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Sugary and welcome to our FF party. Just to introduce ourselves:
I'm Lily and feeling like sultana loaf.
Katey, who started this thread is the wisest of us all, with a preg test in one week    
Laura, our bud, starts down regging on Friday, when she will at last get some warmth in her 'gas cut off' house, when she hormonally glows. Don't be terrified of the result - we're here to help and create a plan of action... Keep in touch.  

Hey, Katey, I'm so sorry about your v. bad day. I remember when I first found out we needed IVF and I received all the paperwork to peruse for the first time. We went on our hols to SIL, immediately the post came so I took it all with us. Only to find out when we arrived that other brother's girlfriend (of less than 1 year) was unexpectedly pregnant. I cried as I read through the clinic details - they'd been together less time than we'd been trying. And guess what, we've been trying so long, she's gone and had another one, pregnant (oh so surprisingly apparently) 4 months after the first. If I sound bitter and twisted - I am! Not a nice trait I know, but it's so hard. Sending you a big hug. I hope your symptoms are good news.   

I've still got the headache. Still feel like pants. But it'll be worth it - I hope....

BFN, buds, Lily. xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi All

Sugary - My FSH was 17!!!  Can you believe it!! Then it went down to 7.5 and 5.9 now just about to start treatment and its gone up to 10??  God knows whats happening in there!  I had my Inhibin B done and it came back 45 which is borderline perimenopause... but hay they are only numbers... wouldn't surprise me if they just make them up!  

Hay Lily - Sorry your feeling crappy, hopefully tom you can get rid of the d/regs and conetrate on growing thm babies!!  I liked your summary of the last 5 pages of the thread!!

Katey - Hmmm... I see the floor in my plan... may be difficult with all the twins there as they will all be born within a month of eachother... and the travelling!!  Maybe me and Lily can move to leciester and you can take on a couple of new staff to accomodate all the wee babes??!!

Anyway we have just had a row!  He went to tesco as he says we can't afford a take away and brought me back a microwave meal I don't like.. which transpired into a fight... so I'm hungary and cold now!  Anywy I' going to hang the washing out and then climb into bed with my snotty nose, got to be up early (again) tomorrow.  Shattered.

Goodluck tom Lily.  Hope day flys by for you Katey.  Sugar.... don't worry about the FSH... its all just numbers. XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi Sugary

Welcome!!! I agree with Laura and Lily...it's all just numbers sent to confuse us and mess with our heads. My amh test came out a low to no fertility but I got 6 eggs, 4 mature and 2 embies. I have decided that this was a pretty normal result as I watch the IVF programme on Discovery Home & Health and women on there are getting 3689 follicles (ok slight e'gg'ageration ...lol I 'crack' myself up!!!) and they then get 5 eggs and 3 fertilise...go figure. In my opinion natural pregnancies arise out of 1 egg/month - usually - so the fact that we get any more than that is a billy bonus!

welcome again, and I do hope you stay with us (even when you are expecting!).

Lily - I laughed out loud at your synopsis of our thread - loved it! I was in floods of tears about 1 minute before (i'd love to say another pg symptom but I feel it was just the stress of the day) and it was just what I needed. Thank you thank you.
You are not bitter or twisted. I am with you 100%. The thing that bugged me the most about today was that she would be telling a man who would rather eat his own socks (or my sultana loaf) than be a father right now. It is so unfair.

Laura - what meal just interested.
My baby room can take 9....so, if we all had twins that would be 8 with extra play space! Yeah! Get house hunting!

Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
I'm back from the scan. The consultant couldn't see anything - yippee!!  

Just have to wait for a phone call this pm and I can start stimming tonight!

One thing, I was surprised about is, we're not supposed to have sex from now apparently   She said that due to the risks already of a multiple birth, they don't want any extra babies. But I thought the down regging drug held the eggs back (more or less). I know there's a possiblity I could ovulate anyway, but I figure we have a few 'leisure' days as the consultant saw no activity whatsoever. Were you told this Katey?

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

No I was not told this. I guess they are covering their bases. Once you get stimming it's best to avoid in case. Our Dr didn't even discuss dh's tactical evac 3-4 days before..I had to ask. Useless!

Glad the scan was good!!! Here you go on the next stage of the train journey !!!

Hugs, Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello my lovelies!!

Well its been a busy day a!  Lily and your scan.. oh on to stimms now thats very exciting!!!!!

I've collected mt drugs!! Yeah!!! and I start tomorrow!

Katey what you been doing?  You not working still?  Lucky thing i'm knackered can't wait for the weekend for a lay in bed!

Sugar - hows you doing??

No sex  Why not!!  I reckon the dr was jealous as hes not getting any!   I can't see why not?  What about me.. I'm tube less so no chance o getting preg?  There must be another reason if you can'y?  Maybe rough nooky can knock the follicles off!!

The meal was a prawn masala ..... I've just ate it and it was quite nice actually... I think i was just in a mood as I'd asked for something chinesey!

Anyway... I'm off to gym for my shower... this is tirng me out!!

Love to you all and I'll pop back later. XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I have to admit to a fall from diet grace....dh could not stomach another chicken breast and vegetable combo so he bought M&S chinese takeaway and i've eaten some. I feel soooooo bad now. It has taken me 34 years (give or take 30) to get into the 'zone' and so now I feel bad if I sniff saturated fat let alone eat it! oh well, to hell with it...back to good tomorrow.

Laura when is the heating going to be fixed? It's been ages.

K


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well its all been done now I am calling them in the morning and hoping they will be able to come and connect up the gas again.  Fingers crossed!

I love chinese food... I have cravings for sweet and sour prawn balls!!  How bad for you are they!!!

Don't beat yourself up my lovely... you deserve a little treat and you have been being so very good.  Don't feel bad.... moderation!! A little treat now and again is absolutey fine. And you may well me eating for 2/3!!!  If I was you I'd eat what you want over the next few weeks... them little beans need a happy mummy to live in and it will do them no harm Im very sure!!!

XX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Don't worry about the chinese Katey - it's not what you do now and again that matters, it's what you do regularly everday and your diet sheet the other day was perfect .... so forget about it and next time, enjoy it guiltlessly.

I was reading the Bart's posts (well a little) to find out more about the food/hormones discussion you mentioned, Laura and came across your love of tea. Have you tried Redbush - it's available in most supermarkets and HandB, and it's naturally caffeine free. I love it and can't actually tolerate 'normal' tea anymore. You may not like it the first time, but it's fairly normal: just add milk. It just takes a bit longer to brew.

Well, I've taken the first of the stimmers - wow this feels scarey now. Due for scan in one week and we'll see if I've exploded into OHSS (big worry for me as I had mild each time I stimmed before and that was just to get 2 follicles so we could bonk whilst they burst   ). Anyway, headache has already improved - blimey these drugs are amazing!

How ya feeling Katey? I have my two lucky fingers crossed for you      

Love to you both. Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well I am ok today. Dh took me on a date (a decaf latte at M&S) and bought me new pj's to slumber in (ooh I love him lots today!!!). 

the girl i mentioned yesterday called me to say that her dp went off the deep end and she is now seeing her Dr on Friday to arrange a termination. I have asked if dp will talk to me but apparently he wants none of it. I will persevere.

my (.)(.) have stopped hurting which is worrying me senseless and I keep squeezing and prodding to see what happens!!!

And I am a lucky girl....my ex parish priest who I know quite well has summoned up the collective praying power of nuns, priests and an order of special nuns who are locked away, (not for me, just generally). I try to pray but I just cannot seem to do it...my head just whirls.

Anyway, i'm seeing him for a blessing (courtesy of my very catholic mother) on Thursday or Friday and, if you would like, I will give him your names to pray for also. ()

Oh, and I put on 2lbs! In an hour!!!

Hugs and night night....Katey

ps I would like to now more about this tea Lily. Does it have that wierd not normal tea taste?

xxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily 

Forgot to say...I didn't know that you got slight OHSS. Can that happen with 2 follies?? I know so little about it. Will they monitor you closely now?

Good luck and long live non-headaches!

Laura....hurrah for tomorrow. You are well on the way now. Keep us up to date with how it goes.

K


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
The tea's lovely (imho). It's from the south African Rooibos tree - a red bush, naturally caffeine free, low in tannin, contains antioxidants and a sweet flavour - although carbohydrate free. I think it tastes like normal tea but without the harsh tannin taste. I miss it when I don't have it, as I find it soothing. I don't like fruit teas and the only other tea I drink is peppermint if I've got a poorly tummy, or filled with air from a laparoscopy. It will be interesting to know your initial perception as I've been taking it for a long time now, so I'm used to it. I hope you don't spit it out! Just make it like normal tea, with milk if that's what you normally add.

I can't believe your childcare assistant. Do you think it really was an accident, or was she hoping he would be excited. If so poor girl. Shame you can't have a talk with him, but then again, it would perhaps not do your soul much good.

Don't worry about your boobs stopping hurting. I remember last year mine did and I posted about that and got plenty of responses by others who were also worried about it but went on to a bfp. I didn't but I found there's absolutely no way of telling until test day. It's mindblowingly hard I know, but lots of people have been convinced that they're not, screaming at their DH that they know their bodies, only to be proven wrong by the tester.    

Hope Laura's well. Soon be warmer   for you.
Love Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay girls..

I have gas!!!!!! The man has just gone and I need to dash to work now... all go today!! Sniifing and gas?!

The sniffing was ok but I'm a bit snotty at the moment so not sure it went in - how long time you feel any effects from it?

Oh Lily Stimms how exciting??  I didn't know about the OHSS either... you poor thing... they will keep a close eye on you this time. XX

Roobush tea... I have had it before, it tastes horrible for the first few cups then its ok, I think its the fact that it looks like tea that is so appealing!!!  I actually think I have some in the cupboard, if not I'll get some today... good thinking bat girl!!

Oh that girl needs to decide if SHE wants the baby, if she wants that baby (which sounds like she does) then she will regret it forever.  I'm very sure of that.  I didn't know your a catholic girl Katey - I'm not religous to be honest I thnk more spiritual, if she and her partner do not want this baby I would not condemn them for terminating, there is enough unwanted babies in the world, but in this case I think she wanted the baby and there for a really inappropriate and cruel way to 'test the waters' about children with her DH.  If he is 'making' her hoose between him and the baby then he is a pig and she is better off without him it was 'there' mistake and they should deal with it together.  You should never be pressured into heaving a termination, she really will hate herself forever... especially if she 'planned' it.  How old are they?

Oh I love the idea of a group of nuns praying for me!! Although I'm not religious positive thinking is great and some religious groups I can tolerate and think are beatuiful and would love to be a part of... nuns being one of them... some religious groups make me so angry and oppress their believers and Grrrr!!  Sorry I'm not going to start!! I need to go to work... lets just say I have some bad experiences of religion!!

Anyway love to all and talk later!  Have a good day!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura....when you get gas you are s'posed to keep it to yourself!!!!!! (lol)

In the case of the baby/no baby assistant: she decided she wanted it and hoped that he would buy in. He hasn't so now she has to back down. What bugs me is that a life that I would kill for was used as a part of a 'i want committment' game and now, because it backfired, will be terminated. There's got to be something wrong with that

I will get those nuns on the case Laura!!!!! I'm not a big fan of nuns myself (past experience) but I feel like we are doing something constructive. During meds you are involved and then in the 2ww it's like out of your control...this way I am taking back some control (in a round about way). Does that make sense

I will also seek out the tea you speak of. Not sure, after the sultana loaf, whether rooibos is a step too far!!!! Oh, and btw, I did not gain chinese takeaway weight. Phew!

Laura - don't worry about the sniffing....just don't blow your nose or sneeze too soon. It will absorb.
I can't remember when I started to feel different. Not that long. The 'glow' kind of crept up on me!!!

How's stims Lily?

Sorry my post is haphazard today...shows a confused mind!

Hugs, Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Katey, forgot to say, yes please pass on my name to your friend - it can only help and make me feel more positive. I spent some time with some monks in Tibet a few years ago and felt so much more spiritual inside. Did me good. I agree with Laura, if 'the girl' wants the baby, she should think carefully as she could so regret it for the rest of her life.

Congratulations on the gas Laura and yippee you've started down regging. I don't know much about the sniffing as I took injections instead. Took me about one week to feel unusually warm and then the headaches started from day 15. When's your scan?

I'm ok. Took my first stim injection last night and surprisingly felt twinges in my ovary region already today. Bit of a worry. Katey, you asked how I could get mild OHSS with only 2 follies? Well, with the pcos we can be stimulated too much, too quickly, as I'm sure you know, as there's all those undeveloped follies waiting to happen. Each time I took the menopur before, we always got two large follies that DH's sperm were supposed to aim for! but always had others in the background. For example, one month there was 1x21mm, 1 x18.5mm, 2x12mm, 2x10mm plus other smaller ones. As long as there weren't more than 2 over 18mm, we could go ahead and have sex. One month, there must have quite a few <18mm, as the pain was so bad I had to ask DH to be more careful - it was absolute bl**dy agony and I just wanted to cry but obviously had to carry on - talk about grin and bear it: I had to do my utmost not to put him off! We were told to have sex the night of the scan, next am, next pm, and same day after. That was for 6 months! I always ended up for the week after the trigger shot not being able to walk standing straight up, and even walking sent too much of a thud through my abdomen. Put us off sex for a week or so too. Then of course the blood came and tears - oh blimey I'm getting myself into a bit of a pickle remembering the good ole times! So, to conclude, this stimming session should be interesting - roll on next Wednesday when I go for my scan. You wait - I bet there'll be one tiny follicle and I'll feel like a fraud!!

Love to you both, Lily. An explosion waiting to happen....


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I've been ridiculously warm and grumpy today!! Sure its just coincidence can't be the drugs already??

I've just got in from work and have a conference in Nottingham tom so up at 6! Grrr!

So im heading off to bed in my nice warm house.

Sorry not much fun tonight


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura...Well when you are driving past leicester pop in for tea (& sultana loaf!!!!!).

Lily - that sounds awful and it would make af even more of an insult i'm sure! So they are keeping a close eye on you now? At least you do not have to suffer the same pain during sex but things can get a little twingy, heavy and crampy with stims. Let's hope that the explosion you speak of never comes to pass and beautiful follies present themselves instead!

G'night both...Katey xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

How are you Katey? When's the official test date? My fingers are stuck like super glue, crossed for you.
Lve Lily.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey there!

Test on Tuesday. Train tickets booked for London already!!! Not holding breath. Thanks for finger crossing...don't get cramp!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura & Lily

Your news today

Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
Hopefully we'll hear from Laura tonight after her meeting in Nott - unless you see her first if she pops in for a cuppa of course. Surely that loaf's gone green by now, or have the bugs turned their noses up as well   ?

I feel ok. Happy the headache has gone. Had two stimming injections now, and still the burserelin of course. No major twinges today. Yesterday must have been coincidence. Looking forward to the scan next Wednesday.

Here's to Tuesday - you so deserve a positive result this time. Oh I do hope so....
Lots of love, Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

No sign of Laura!!! Good job I got dh to eat that loaf! (which he did in fact, days ago. wierd guy).

I am so confused. I hate fertility drugs because they mask real symptoms. I knew with all my natural pg's but things i'm feeling now could be anything! Got so light headed today and then bam! major headache and then it went quite quickly and left fuzzy head. 

Dreading and wanting Tuesday all at once!

Glad the stims have helped with the side effects! Which one are you taking and what amount??

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello!!

Sorry didn't really post must yest was shattered, this week has been a bit tough lots of early mornings and vsits to the gym every night.

Katey - I came up on the train - I waved though when we stopped in Leciester though.. did you see me?  I didn't realise how close to Notts you are... we are up alot as that is where Tim is from, we are hoping to move to Notts next year (with the twins!) as we can't afford a house roundd here.  I've prob already told you that... I'm be delerious(?) through lack of sleep!
Oh not long to test day!!  I so think this is it.. you have the symptoms and I know the drugs can do funny things but I'm sensing the circles have grown?? Had any implantation bleeding?

Lily - You poor thing... bloody cysts!! I have cysts sometimes and they bloody hurt, I have a big one at the moment and it hurts after we lay hide the sausage too!!  I'm hoping it will go before my scna otherwise they won't let it go ahead?  Is that right?  I wonder if I will have the same problem as you when I start injections?

Hmmmmmm

Anyway I'm having a nice glass of wine (oh dear good intentions have gone out the window!!) But only a glass!! 

I haven't been hot and irritable today so yesterday must have just been a stressful day!!

Anyway hope to chat to you ladies later. XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lovely Laura... where were you I had the kettle on, biscuits out!!!!!

You sound like you need to chill this w/e. Leading up to ec you must be calm and relaxed (I know you are down regging but it will pass real quick and ec will bite you on the bum before you know it). I say enjoy the wine!!!

Lovely Lily...how are you ce soir (a bit of Fench for you there because I am feeling flighty!!!!)

I think that HFEA should bring out a new 'no prodding or manhandling of (.)(.) allowed during the 2ww' law before I pummel mine into oblivion! Why will they not hurt??!!!

Off for a shower and then it's my favourite time of day.....progesterone suppository extravaganza!

Hugs, Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Ha!!  I was thinking the other day that I have drugs to stuck up my nose, my leg and my lady parts!!  Its funny really isn't it..things we go through.

I've just had the one glass of wine! Not the normal bottle and am gonna go watch the lovely jonathon in bed... will probably nodd of so will speak to you ladies tomorrow.

I ridicullously always think I'm pregnant (even though its impossible) and i start poking my boobs and I poke them so much my boobs hurt!!!  But I'm never pregnant... well not til next month i hope.  weird feeling... that I may be having a baby soon?!  mustn't get my hopes up though a.  

Anyway hope you have popped your pellet my lovely?!

Night night ladies. XXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Morning ladies,
I'm not feeling anything this morning. Hope those follies are not going to play hard to get. Feel a bit too normal if you ask me with no signs of the two more injections I took last night. Is this normal Katey??

In for a chilling w/e wh Laura? I decided to make myself slow down during down regging. Found myself a romantic novel I had had on my bookcase for many years and not touched. I'm now on my third! One's from the 18th century and other two during the war. Hence, they're providing me with plenty of baby names to consider that I haven't heard of before. Just shows, even though the novels are good, I can't escape from the IF world!

Love to you both. As for the wine Laura, my nurse said no problem to have it during down regging, just not when stimming. So enjoy if you fancy one - not sure what she'd say about the whole bottle though!

Thinking of you Katey. Did the nun's do their thing??

Love Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Morning!

Lily - From memory, I had more effects from the down reg drugs than the stims. I did find that after a week or so on stims I started to feel aches/heavyness...which was surprising as I only had 4 ok follies! I find the stims bit the easiest. Don't panic...you'll be ok.

So, what names do you like/dislike the most from your books?

Laura pops - how are you this morning 

I am in a really grumpy mood. Have no idea why (af must be coming!) and I keep biting dh's head off. I think it's because yesterday I 'felt' pg but today nothing so I am now convinced I have a bfn on the way. I think I may be like this until Tuesday...sorry girls if I am a pain.

Plus I have to go to dinner tonight with my brother and his pg girlfriend. I am happy for them but it makes me wistful. What can I say!

Hugs etc....Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello ladies,

no rest for the wicked I'm afraid.  I'm doing the kitchen floor already lunged tons of floor tiles out of B and Q all prepared, just about to start laying them.  

Katey sorry your feeling crappy, we are always bloody waiting for something, but I'm guess the 2ww is the longest and hardest of them all.  You can be a pain its no problem, we can handle it.  I was grumpy few days ago, stress can make you grumpy as well as AF and you are going to be stressing at the moment no matter how hard your tring not to.

I had just the one glass of wine last night so don't feel too guilty, back on the herbal tea now!

Have you ladies ben drinking pomegrante juice?  Its very good for providing the nutrients for preparing your womd for preganancy!  You can buy all sorts of types but the best is pomegrante 100 which is made from pure not concentrate, you can get it in tesco in the fridge section where you buy the prepacked sarnies! Its 3.50 for 750mls, bit expensive but not as expensive as another round of IVF!!!  Sure its not make or break but I guess the more little things you can do to increase your chance the better.

I've not got any symptoms yet... takes a week or so.. just hoping I'm sniffing enough as still got a cold.

Anyway that kitchen floor won't tile its self!

Love to you both.
XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura...do you ever stop?!!!!!!
Thanks for the pomegranate info. I love the dtuff but never found one not made from concentrate so now i'm a bit excited.

Hurrah.

Off to Nottinghm tonight. Yee hah (not).

Tomorrow....Katey

ps either one of you know what kind of cm to expect in early pg? You'd think i'd know!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Evenin'

Let's start with the most interesting - Katey and cm in early pregnancy? - I remember reading that it increases and can be creamy/light brown in colour especially with the embyryos attaching and growing. Not sure how early it changes. Hope you've got good news Katey and I so hope it's not the cyclogest.

As for Laura - suppose it's a good idea to get on with these tasks you're undertaking before the 2ww arrives. No doubt it's helping to take your mind off things too.  Just read your post on decaf drinks - I was of course impressed with the replies! Perhaps it's time to buy some shares in the redbush company....

I'm fine and feel better now you've pointed out Katey that I probably won't feel a thing until 7 days. I've just had jab no 4. Trying not to think about EC - when I do, I keep telling myself, I am willing to go through anything to have a baby, so whatever they have to do - tough! (But I do hope it's not too bad).

Love to you both, Lily. xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Morning ladies,

Katey - did you know that you should be drinking a glass of pineapple juice and 5 brazil nuts through the 2 ww  I tell you this is so bloody confusing   Everyone else just has a roll in the hay and hay presto and i'm now realising i need to be eating and drinking all this weird stuff!!  Well not weird but you know, everyone is tellingme different stuff and a bit of me is thinking oh just stuff it and another part is thinking I should try to do everything to make this work if only so I cant feel bad if I get a BFN.  I'm having a very ngative day today. 

I had weird dreams all night and I couldn't sleep.  I dreamt my mum had cancer and there was nothing they could do and she wasn't ill in hospital but was at home and was writing a book to give to me about all the things about her I don't know (we haven't really seen eye to eye for a few years).  Then tim gave my rabbit away to someone who killed it?!  But they all were so real and even when I was awake i was crying and upset. I dunno whats wrong with me.

Anyway enough about me.

CM - sorry Katey no idea, the time I was preg I didn' find out until I was 6 weeks and it wasnt planned so I wasn't looking owt for anything.

Lily - I've been really stressing about the EC, do your hospital put you to sleep or just sedate?  Mine just sedate me.. I'm sure that we will be fine... Katey went shopping after hers!! AT least yours will be over with sooner than mine!!

Lots of talk of the decaf tea thread - Katey you must post your brand!!

Anyway I'm off to the gym and then back to the kitchen! Grrrrr!!

Me XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh  also I have really sire boobies?  Is that normal on d/regging? XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hello girls

Really do not stress about ec. With sedation, of any kind, you will be ga ga and have no idea...I promise. I cannot comment on a local anaesthetic because i've never had it but I guess it's ok. A friend of mine did it a gazillion times with a local and sais she was fine.

As for brazil nuts etc etc i'm sure there are 100 superfoods but remember that natural pg's do not come about due to lots of eating fads. I do think that sometimes we are in danger of driving ourselves mad! Just be healthy, relaxed and as positive (mmmm) as you can be. Your embies need a nice calm place and not necessarily a uterus nurtured on pineapples!

Laura - the wierd dreams could be due to the drugs....could be making this up but i'm sure I read that dreams etc can happen. 

Lily - How are those jabs going? When is your 1st scan (sorry memory like a sieve)

Well....only 2 sleeps left for me before I am put out of my misery. I have been so tempted to do a hpt but I resisted because I cannot take the misery yet and would prefer to live in a make believe reality for a bit longer...(what was that about positivity Katey).

My (.)(.) are feelingless so I am convinced it is a bfn. Oh well....

Hugs Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Katey - you are such a good girl not testing.... you do know they sell those early preg tsts that can show really low preg hornes!!!  No really you shouldn't they give you a test date for a reason!! Ignore me I have no patience!

With your other cycles had your period come by now?  Its only really a day away now... today is practically over.

Lily!!!  Where are you!!

Anyway tim was out cycling all morning, came back about 2 and then had lunch and said he was just nipping to pick up hay (which takes 20 mins) and has not come back!!  Bloody lazy men bet he's skiving somewhere... Grrrr!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
What a day! We went into the countryside for a walk - ended up following a trail that lasted 12 miles. Fortunately we came across some yummy sunday pub lunch en route. After a lazy wake up, it took me by surprise. DH thought it would do the follies good - oh I do hope so. Anyway, back now and reporting for duty.

I am impressed you've resisted the hpts Katey, although I'm not into them either. After the first two years, I've avoided them as I find seeing the single blue line so depressing and when I've ovulated the blood has always arrived day 14, so didn't leave me wondering long. The hospital I'm at, say I'm to go there for the test, 16 days after EC, so I'm planning on not doing one either. You asked what names I've come across in my books, well I haven't found one I'd like to make use of yet, but some unusual ones for girls have been Adelina, Sienna and Saffron. Then for the boys Jupiter, Alizarin and Zac. Perhaps I should keep reading a bit more, as I can see you're not impressed  

Sorry, to hear you're having a negative day Laura. Amazing dreams you've had too. I have had them in the past, where I've woken up crying, but not on the downregging drugs. Hormone changes do affect every woman differently though. Hope you sleep soundly tonight.... As for the food and drink issue - I asked my nurse about the pint of milk a day and pineapple juice. She said that if it was as easy or as important as that, then every clinic would be recommending it. She said to just eat healthily and to relax as much as possible. By the way did you find any redbush in the back of your cupboard or have you decided to avoid it? I've got a lovely mug of it in front of me now - mmmm, so calming!!  

Just remembered you asked a while ago Katey about what I'm stimming with - well it's menopur x 2 bottles a day. What did you use? Thanks for the support re EC, can you calm me on the ET as well as I've heard that's worse? How was the meal last night with your brother and the lucky lady?

Hope Tim's back Laura and hope he's made up for going AWOL.

Love to you both. Fingers crossed for Katey. The boobs don't mean anything - I've read that plenty of times with a +ve result. Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Have I missed something Where did Tim go I feel like my head is in a cloud!

Laura - mmmm liking Jupiter...not!! I recommend you get to the library before any further damage is done!
As for ET...well, easy peasy pie. It is like a smear. They put the expanding metal thing in (sorry tech name escapes me) and then pass a catheter through your cervix (it didn't hurt at all, promise) and then via u;trasound guide the embies into place. It takes my Dr about 45 minutes but he is quite exceptional (!!!) most places I believe take anywhere between 5 minutes and 20 minutes (from what various people have told me).  I was not prepared, however, for the spotlight aimed directly at the crown jewels! Yuck! But once the embies came in all the lights were dimmed and it was a really magical moment. Also my Dr told me not to wear any perfume or body spray and he makes sure he doesn't either (he keeps a bottle in his desk for after!!!!).

Think that's about it. The hardest part was the full bladder whilst a Dr is fiddling...he nearly got it!

Has that helped or confused

I am getting so nervous now. I must remember that a bfn is not the end of the world but I want it so much. 7 years and 6 m/c and 3 lost ivf embies is quite enough! 

Anyway....someone please let me know Tim is where he is s'posed to be.

I'm off for tea now (and some sneaky shortbread that I made for dh but seems to keep gravitating towards me!!).

Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Have the shortbread!!!  

Tim went awol for hours yest on a trip to pick up some hay for the rabbits, he came back 4 hours later as he had locked hiself out of the car!!  And forgot the hay!  Men!!  So for the last 2 days tim has skived and I have been decorating!!

With ET I am worried as i had such a bad time with my HSG, have you have one Katey?  Do they use the same thing to stick up your cervix??  In the end they had to go and get a childrens tube to put the dye in with!!  Was painful and embarrasing!  One lady on here had to have a whole made in ther uterus wall so they could put the embies back!!  She was a right ole state and I don't blame her... that can't be good for the embies can it!!

Katey i can't believe you test tomorrow!!!  I' getting good cyber vibes!!  Oh I so hope it works for you this time.... please please please!!!!!  You have been so dedicated and deserve this so much.  Fustrating there is nothing I can do but I will log in before I go to work to see if you've posted.  What time will you test?
You def not going to do it today?!!!

Anyway I need to get to Brighton got a meeting at 1130.  Will remember my purse today!!  Am meeting a lady from the ectopic preg trust board who i have been chatting with for a while... be my first time I've met with a cyber friend!!  Bit scared, hope we have enough to talk about!  Sure we will!!  She's very much ******** to all the fads it either will work or it won't type of girl which I think I need a bit of at the moment.

Anyway have a good day... this Katey is your last day of wondering!! 

Have a good day lovely Lily too!!!! Well done on all that excersize.... bet the follies had a lovely time!!  Is you scan this week??

XXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi 
I will be travelling to London for a blood test and won't know the result until 5 ish. So I cannot post until I get back which will be 9:30 pm ish. Sorry!!!

I agree with your ectopic board friend...fads are just that - fads. If an embie is going to stick it will whether you dose up on brazils or not. I agree with Zita West that food is powerful but I don't think it will be the difference between a bfn or a bfp. Where it does help, imo, is by building up a woman's confidence and positivity as she is doing something that may benefit and so that improves her state of mind.

Poor rabbits!

I have had an hsg and, i must admit, i had no probs there either. Is there a reason your cervix didn't want to play the game? Talk to your dr about what happened and ask for a mock et so that any concerns can be ironed out before the day. 

Have a good day in Brighton!!
Hi Lily!!!

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I can't wait until 9.30pm to find out!!!  All the way to london for  blood test?  Can you not go to the local hosp for it?  will you hang around at the hospital for the result to come back or do they call you? DH going with you I hope?  

How are you feeling? Boob? pains? tiredness? amount of wee's you've done today? 

So many questions sorry!!

I'm so excited I can't wait til tomorrow!!

On boring TV question - did you watch prime suspect last night?  when is the next part on it is not normally monday eve?

Brighton was nice, busy time not much time for shopping though.

Anyway tim made me dinner as he didn't know I was eating out so I'm just about to have my 2nd dinner!!  

XXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey you! Where is the lovely Lily tonight

I am having only 2 things that are different. The first are sharp pinching twinges in and around the uterine area and occasionally they zip out towards my hip bones. The other is dizziness and a low grade headache. However as I suffer from tension headaches and vertigo I am not reading too much into that.

no sore boobs and no more wees than normal.

Convinced now it will be a bfn. gutted because I was enjoying being pupo (pg until proven otherwise) and do not yearn for cold reality.

Prime Suspect is on next sunday...and NOT to be missed!

Enjoy dinner #2!!!! any down reg side effects yet

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

No just feeling tired, thats about it.  Had a couple of headaches but nothing bad.  Bit grouchy but not sure if that is the d/regging or just me!

Am due af on Thursday will i still get it? Thats prob why i'm a bit grouchy.

gonna go have my bath before without a trace comes on.

I'm so sleepy.... long day.

My cat is being so naughty too... may have to get him a friend soon I think.  Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight.

LILY!!!!! where are you?  Bet she gone walking again and got lost!!

Anyway, I may be back in a bit but if not you take good care and poat me some good news tomorrow... uterus twinges sound good?! XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Katey, Katey, Katey,
Not sure what time you're leaving - had a meeting till late last night, but wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Really, really hope this is the one to work. Will log on >21:30 to see how you are.
Much love, Lily.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I know I'm early but I am here ready and waiting.
XX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Me too. Lots of hugs coming along the line, whatever the result....      
Lots of love, Lily. xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello lovely lily.  Hows your day been?  When is your next scan?  The follies behaving thennselves?

I'm so nervous ....  anyone would think it is my pregnancy test!!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Laura,
I know what you mean: I feel like her mother! Thanks for asking about my follies: I've been getting twinges since yesterday on both sides, so obviously something's happening. At the moment I'm worried they'll be too many poor quality. Will see tomorrow - I will have had 7 lots of stimms then.

Katey, where are you honey? Laura and I are missing you!
Much love, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi girls
Just back

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hcg 93.2!!!!!!!!!

about wetting myself!!

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

hopefully she is just held up on the train?   

Big day for you tomorrow then? I'm bored with d/ regging its a bit boring!!  got another 2 weeks to go yet!!

XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I'm here!!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

OMG!!!! I just wet myself too!!!!  Oh go and get some cotton woll and wrap yourself up in it!!  Thats an order!!  Oh I'm so excited.... gonna buy some wool tomorrow and start knitting!!!  You must have a grin from ear to ear!!!!!!!!

Wooooooooooooooooo Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!  Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee  Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

thank you thank you.

cannot believe it. BUT have been here before....watch this space!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Send me your recipe for sultana loaf!!  It must work!!!!

Oh I can't stop typing I'm so exited.  Bet DH is over the moon!!

I'm over the moon not just for you but for me too... I needed some inspiration and you are it!!!!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily!!! we are having a party here!!  Where have you gone?? XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I think I may cry!!! 

I am happy because I never got pg with IVF before - all m/c natural pg - and the numbers look good.

My Dr wants me to do IVIG on thursday and that is a big decision for me as I do not trust 1000 other people's blood products. But what's a small blip today??!!!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

they do look good numbers?  Maybe twins!

Whats an IVIG?


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Crikey Oh Riley!
What kept you Katey? Laura and I've been having kittens!!
Absolutely fantassssssssssstic!!!!!!!!            

You must be on  

Cor, bet your mum's on   too.

Many, many   to you and DH - you both deserve it!  

              

Lots of love, Lily. xxxx

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

not twins he doesn't think. hey, i'm happy with one! (although I will miss #2)

IVIG is intravenous immunoglobulin to dampen down by killer cells because he fears without it I may m/c again. no-one knows. but they cannot screen against CJD or other viruses that they have not identified yet which is scary.

Lily...I am somewhere...not sure what cloud it is. It's so bad that I wandered around selfridges and didn't buy a thing. couldn't even see what was around me!!!!UNHEARD OF!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Blimey, no purchases - I'm sure you'll recover. Next do some great bibs, eg 'Mine's a pint!' and 'Probably the most beautiful baby in the world'....

Hey Laura - I need the sultana loaf recipe first - my eggs are half grown already - oh flip.

Hold on I'm sure there's some sultana's in the cupboard - ok supper here I come!! Lily. xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

You do like your shopping!!

Hmmmm!  Well I've tried to give blood before and they are very fussy who thy take!!  We are open to viruses all the time.  I don't know all the facts but your dr does seem to know what he is doing of.

For now i'd just enjoy your lovely belly, maybe celebrate with some shortbread!!  Worry abut all that tomorrow.

I'm so chuffed for you, fingers crossed for the next hurdle.... roll on 8 weeks please!!!

XXXX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily - I reckon we should get Katey to make us both a special food hamper.... she can send yours first no prob!! I've got a couple of weeks to go before I'm growing stuff!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

You don't really want that recipe!!!! I think it was the shortbread that tipped the balance. Will get both to you asap.

It is wierd because my symptoms are so unlike any other time. No bb pain at all. Lots of dizziness and headaches and pinching like mad.

Could this be it??


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

It is like i am carrying a lobster!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I blooming well hope so my lovely.  

Come on Katey jnr.... hang in there and we'll see you in 8 months please!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I'm still in shock.

OK...you 2....can we make it a hat trick?

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

That would be pretty cool wouldn't it.  can't get hopes up yet not even at the stimming stage yet!!  We need to focus on LIly next... I bet by the time its my go you two will be off discussing baby names on the preg board!!!  

Hopefully I won't be too far behind. XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I've got to go my lovely chums!  

Night Lily, Night katey and bumpy!!  

We should all try to go on MSN together or the chat room easier to chat then.  

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey, what's all this pressure you two are putting on me? I feel like it's penalty shoot out and it's my go next. Katey went first and scored - knocked the goal keeper flying....

Ok girls, here we go. First step, scan tomorrow. Better go, DH is calling me to bed - shame the nurse remembered to tell us no nookie during stimming eh! Have to be up early, scanning b4 8am and we've a bit of a drive....

See you both tomorrow. Love Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

yes...msn would be better.

btw....lily and I are not going anywhere!!! we will see this through until each one of us has a buggy with a bouncing baby bundle in it. Deal?

KT xxx

ps Lily good luck with the scan. let us know. what time


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey Katey, has it sunk in yet? Don't worry if you can't reply - as hopefully you're taking Laura's advice and I'm imagining you mommiefied in cotton wool!

Back from scan - at the moment there's 19, but as explained earlier they probably won't all grow to maturity (cos of the PCOS). They range between 5 and 10mm. I'm back on Friday for more info to see how many are headed for the finish line and how many dawdlers there are.

Hi Laura! Yes the down regging isn't too exciting - bit of a private affair - but don't worry the stimming makes up for it.

Love, Lily.     and one for luck


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

19! Where are you getting all that surface area from? lol. so friday....that's 2 days....yes the pushy ones should have developed nicely by then. Oh how exciting!

Laura - stims soon and then it all kicks off!!! How you today What happened when you met that lady from the ectopic board? Was is good What you expected We should all meet one day too.

No it has not sunk in at all and I am still chasing my tail trying to find out about the ivig stuff before tomorrow. I am in a state of complete fear and I think that may continue for a while. I never got passed 6-8 weeks so this is a danger time for me. Scared.

Hugs

Me & Little me xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I just typed a massive post and then it disappeared! Grrrr

Lily - blimey how many ovaries have you got!!!  You be in egg collection for hours with all them!!

Katey - Its gonna be a slow and tough few weeks ahead ....  roll on 2nd trimester!!  I am a very high risk of another ectopic and i know if I get preg it will be a nihtmare over the first few weeks.  Just keep cool!!  TRY to relax and carry on dong what you hav been doing.  I know it must be scary but we are here to keep you company.

I'm very tired, had a long day, did the tesco shop and then cooked dinner.  Shattered.

I'll PM you both my MSN.  

Yes one day we will meet up, was nice seeing alison from the other board she is just about to join the IVF fertility train... consultation tom.  Her daughter was very funny.

Yes one day we will all meet up that would be nice. XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Yes it would!

Got your email. will figure the msn thing out and then maybe I can email you back!!!

KT

ps high Lily. You ok


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I cannot believe I just typed 'high lily' not 'Hi lily'

what is happening to my brain

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I've heard pregnancy makes your brain go spongy!!!


----------



## sugary (Feb 17, 2006)

Katey
Hi just read your post and I really feel for you sweetheart, I am petrifed waiting for an inhibin test result after some dodgey FSH results....try to remain positive i know its hard, I produced 6 eggs for icsi in July and they were less than pleased with my result, there are plenty of us out there so don't feel alone....
Take care
Sugary
xxxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi again Sugary,
Good to hear from you again. I was reading about the inhbin test you said you had and was pleased to read that even if you do have low Inhibin B levels, this does not automatically mean that you will not become pregnant. Treatment seems to talk about prednisone and dexamethasone, in order to induce ovulation. So, whatever the result, there's always a next step to be taken in the right direction. When do you get the result?

Higher Katey, sorry meant hiya!!   
I've been reading about your IVIg dilemma - didn't know that it can be used to help women with unexplained repeat pregnancy loss. Presumably you won't need to take it past the first trimester, as you pointed out your problems before were at 6-8wks. Have you and DH been able to decide what to do? Who needs character building activities with work eh, when we've got IF to challenge our minds and souls?

Lovely Laura, Hope the headaches haven't arrived yet? Will check out your e-mail. Haven't used MSN before   but I'll give it a go.

Lots of love, Lily. xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Suggary

Nice to hear from you again. Make sure you let us know what the inhibin result is. Also I would like to say that I had the amh test (also ovarian reserve) that said I was bordering on little to no fertility. BUT I get pg, or fertilise eggs, every time I try and IVF has worked on the 2nd attempt (so far). Therefore, I would say to you not to fret and go with the flow. I got 4 eggs after high (600 iu) dose stims, 2 embies and a bfp so who is to say that these hormone tests are to be relied upon.

Lily - I tested higher than is good for cd56 naural killer cells. I think I got 16.1 and Dr Beer's cut off is 12. So that is why I am on prednisolone now and Dr wants me to do IVIg. I'm miffed (like that word!!) because I rang the plasma company today to equire what processes they use to purify the plasma and, as they take and test 2 samples from each person before they can become a donor, how long between these 2 tests Long enough for HIV to show They said that they would not tell me!!!! Dr tried to get hold of them but zip. Anyway I had heated (ish) words with the DR wo does ivig on Tuesday and Thursday. He wanted me in London for 9 am tomorrow - meaning a pg woman must get up at 6 am to catch the commuter train - and be ready to go. I said no way, not until I have my answers. I aso wanted a hcg test before I forked out £1200 just in case the numbers are not rising (heaven forbid). We got cut off (he ws travellling) and I thought that was it. I'll get up and go but ..... Anyway, he called me at 10:30 tonight and said that I should go tomorrow for  hcg test and he will schedule IVIg for me on Friday if I am happy to go ahead. So I now love my dr (and I told him so) and I cannot believe I doubted him for a minute. 

Anyway...i'm staying over in London tomorrow night and I will try to post my new hcg readings if I get near a computer.

Have I bored you all rigid yet

I am like a dog with a bone until I get what I need. Poor Dr!!!!!

Hugs

Katey

ps...Lily if I do not get to post tomorrow lots and lots of luck with the scan on Friday. Hope you are like a ripe orchard!!!

Laura - keep sniffing till I get back!!!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Well done you Katey! You've obviously done a lot of research and know what you're talking about. As for your dr - I love him too - for sorting that out and ringing you so late!

Looking forward to hearing your hcg result - things are looking good. It's true what they say, every experience is another step forward, and this pregnancy is obviously going to benefit from what has happened in the past and has so much better chances! I'm feeling very positive for you.

Hey Sniffer, where are you?  

Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hope so!!

Good luck again tomorrow and sniffer come back!!

Feel bad going to London as I have had to put my 2 dogs in a Kennel called 'Buena Vista' and not happy about it!!

Later...Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm here!!!!

Sorry am working hard as usual!!!

I will post properly when I finally get home.  I've been sniffing a week today... only 12 more days to go ... groan!

XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

This is going to be quick because this hotel inernet keeps kicking me off.....

bhcg was 205!!!! so really happy.

still not made ivig decision. am just terrified.

hope you 2 are good??long post tomorrow. gl Lily! Hi Laura!!

Hugs, Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT and the hard working Laura,
Good news KT - 205! Isn't there a nurse perhaps or anyone else, you can discuss all your concerns with? I agree you shouldn't just do it, but then again if it's the modern medicine you need to maintain pregnancy, then...? I do so hope you get the answers you need to make a decision. If you have the IVIg, how many times do you have to have it?

12 days and counting Laura ....

As for me, I'm having 2nd scan tomorrow - after 9 lots of stims. Hope their behaving themselves and not running away without remembering to pack their bags full of the best quality genetic material....

Love to you both, Lily. xxxx Keep posting Katey - let us know what's happening.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there!

Laura...have you emmigrated Come back! How you feeling? 

Lily - Well?? How did it go?? I was thinking about your scan today and hoping that you get the news you want. Let me know!!!

Me....had IVIg. Hated every moment but, like Lily said, what choice did I really have I was in a no win situation but the baby won - of course.

Really tired now - it does knock you out a bit. Have crampy pains which I hate to get so off to put my trotters up.

Check in on you guys later.

Hugs, Katey xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Good to hear from you Katey! How many times do you have to have the IVIg? Pamper yourself tonight won't you - you thoroughly deserve it.

Had scan. Well there's 8 front runners (size 10.5 to 12.5mm) and 20 dawdlers, that I hope start taking up chess as I'm feeling ok at the moment.

Where's that Laura?

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well those look good to me! When is the next scan?? DH was over my shoulder and saw that you had 28 and he was gobsmacked to say the least!!! He only ever saw 4 on me!! You have really shown me up!!!

Are you happy with the scan Did they discuss it with you What did they say

LAURA!!!!!!!!!!

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT,
The 20 were counted but it's hoped they don't grow, else there could be trouble (OHSS). They were between 5 and 7mm and hopefully will just twiddle their thumbs, leaving the strongest to go forward. The dr was happy with the growth so far. I thought they hadn't grown much since last time, but he assured me everything was looking good. Don't say I've shown you up! On the contrary, it's not good to have sooo many follies - also just remember - you're the one with the BFP! Next scan is on Monday, as bloods still fairly low and they're letting them grow on a bit. That's ok with me, as I'm feeling quite well at the moment. Bit confused though as when nurse said not to have sex, she also said that I probably wouldn't feel like it anyway. Trouble is, I've never felt more like it in my life   Thinking about it, I would have thought it was expected as one apprently feels more like it during natural ovulation, and this is a rather superovulation that's being created. Perhaps I'm supposed to have reacted more to the burserelin? Hope it's working....

LAURA - surely not too busy for your bestest pals!!?

Love, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay my lovely buddies!!

Sorry only just got in from work! Grrr!

Katey - Great news about your levels... rising nicely!  I really need to look up this IVIg thing,  reallydon't know what I'm commenting on!!!

Lily - Wow!!!  You'll be able to populate the whole of London with them follies!!  But 8 big ones sounds great.

Me - Feeling ok, tim is drinking alot at the moment which worrys me, he even hide a bottle of wine on the balcony so I wouldn't know he'd drunk 2 bottles last night.  I'm so worried about him, he drinks when he is stressed.  Not sure what to do about it.  Don't get me wrong his not a drunk but he is prone to drinking under stress.  Should I ignore it?  If I ask him about it he will say I'm moaning and there will prob be a argument?
I'm ok otherwise, working hard... but its the weekend!! Yeah!! Its just one more work week until I hopefully start stimms.  Weekends always fly by.  I have a cold sore and my hair is greasy and my AF is late - but guess all symtoms of d/regging?

Anyway love to you both. XXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

Laura - I had the very same problem with Robin. I found beer cans behind the shed, in the hedges.........Anyway, I rabbited on and on about it until it became a real issue and we just argued as he denied they were his and dug his heels in. Finally I thought i needed a different approach so i said, "I know those cans are yours and I am not prepared to ask any more. When you feel like being honest then I will listen". He confessed and I said ok, let's leave it there. He appreciated me not blah blah blahing and stopped hiding the beer. So, long story short my advice is not to go on about it. keep a watchful eye and if it gets too bad then you may need to have a quiet word. He is probably stressing what with work, life in London, IVF etc etc and men are no good at talking it through like us.

Lily - It's good that they are monitoring you so closely. I thought the sizes were really good for 9 days. I think mine got to 2cm (or is it mm) after 14 or so days but it wasn't hard as they had lots of room to spread out being only 2/ovary! I am so looking forward to your ec and et!!!!!!!!!!

I have to wait for 2 weeks now and then have a scan. This will be worse than the 2ww. It's a never ending head **** !!

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Glad to have you back Laura. You're working late! Difficult one about the wine. Is he having a particularly stressful time at work, or a combination of stresses? I also had to keep stressing about the alcohol (not to mention the hot baths, cycling at the gym, coffee, etc). Said he may as well have been a fish cos all he was allowed it seemed was water and more water. We discussed many times (amazing what men forget  ) about the 10 weeks it takes sperm to grow and if he wanted to have some really indulgent time, then go ahead, and then I'd restart treatment 10 weeks later. Anyway, everytime he realised he could have all the above things, he suddenly didn't want them again, and so we always restarted treatment (perhaps encouraged by my really deep down sadness at another AF arriving). Says he'd rather wait till I get pregnant and then really enjoy the splurge. To be honest, I'm not sure how I would've reacted finding the bottles/cans etc. Hope you manage to have a chat with him, even if it's to get him to offlay some stress.

Katey, your scan in 2 weeks, is that to do with the IVIg or general progress? With your stims how often were you scanned? Are you still taking the cyclogest? I was reading another post, where some women stop after the BFP, and some women continue for 12 weeks - amazing....

Love to you both. I'm trying to distract myself from thinking about EC/ET. Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Morning girls,

I spoke to my friend about it who knows Tim well, she said to mention it but not nag, so I told him Iknew he was hiding the wine from me and he said he was stupid and knew it was a silly thing to do and we have agreed to say no more about it.  Tim cycles for about 12 hours a week but as he has 'super sperm' I can't really moan about that I guess, or the drinking as his sperm is great, although I may mention the 10 week thing to him anyway, be nice if he supported me on the healthy living thing, so hard trying to do it on your own with him next to you drinking wine and eating a chinese takeaway!!!

How are you ladies today?

Lily - have they given you a date for Ec yet?  I know what you mean about being scared about it but will be worth it when they harvest all them eggs!!  Do your hospital sedate you or put you to sleep?  Where are you having your treatment?  Im sure you must have already told me!!

Katey - wow - next visit to the hospital - you will see the heart beat!!  I've had so many scans over the last year and everytime I've had one there has been nothing except a big black hole.... I can't even let myself think how wonderful seeing a little bean in there would be.... I'm getting all teary now.... hormones must be kicking in!!

Anyway love to you both.... what lovely weather.... not right for this time of year though!!

XXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

The scan is tp detect a heartbeat....although not sure all 6 week pg have them yet. If there is one (please God) then I have to have a blood test to see what my killer cell levels are and then maybe more plasma. Mmmmm, yummy!!! 

Laura - I too have never had a scan with anything in it so to see a dot would be mind blowing. Not sure if I could ever recover from that!

Lily - I was scanned/had blood tests every other day whislt stimming and my drug amounts changed each time the results were in. Basically I was not responding so Dr wanted to see how much stimming I could take and if it made a difference. I think that Mr G always scans every 2 days as he used to work with Mr T at the ARGC and they do that. Cost me a bloody fortune and i'm not sure it was necessary that often. 

Please do not worry about ec/et. It's the best bit as finally all your efforts start to become tangible. I am the biggest baby when it comes to stuff like that and I promise promise promise it was ok. Laura is right, all those eggies will be worth it!

I am still on the cyclogest...I read that post too. Mr Dr hasn't mentioned it. I will stay on if I can. My progesterone levels were 130 - which is high!!! Happy to keep them there! I think if there is no risk then carry on. Did your Dr mention anything about this to you

I am on prednisolone, heparin & aspirin too - I rattle when I walk!!! Not sure how long they are for either...maybe I should have asked.

Laura - what are you up to this w/e? Which room is getting some Laura DIY Going anywhere nice Glad that you and Tim sorted it out. Men just don't know they are born sometimes. My DH still smokes and I said that it was selfish to put me through IVF and not quit smoking. Didn't work. Now we are pg it will be interesting to see if he carries on. Maybe a 6 week heartbeat will clinch it

I'm off to clean the bath...joy!

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Today - 

I have to paint the windo frames in the kitchen and put gooey stuff around the edge of the work tops and clean inside all the cupboards and put the clock back on the wall!!

Rabbits need cleans, litter box needs cleaning, hamster needs cleaning.

Washing needs doing, floors need sweeping ad mopping, washing up needs doing from last night, bed sheets need changing, need to go tescos to buy food for dinner.

Friend is ove at 7 for dinner which tim will cook while I sit on sofa and chat to my frined.

My nephews 1st birthday next weekdn so shopping for a pressie for him tom and gym (wel will try).

Dull life I lead.... I want to just spend a day in bed!!!!!!

XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I am exhausted reading about your day!

I'm off to sleep!

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh nice, afternoon nap, I guess your allowed to have those when you are busy growing a baby!!

I'm not always this busy!!  Just seem to be trying to keep busy to stop my brain from thinking too much and of course doing DIY is a good excuse not to go and drink with my friends, only one of whom knows about the IVF.

Also where did you get your clipper tea from, I've got rooibush but doesn't taste like proper tea, Tim went to the big tesco fo r me and they don't sell it, the organic shop across from my work don't sell it either?  Hmmmm!!!!

Anyway I'm just on a boring herbal tea break!!  So will catch you later.

Oh you never updated us on your friend at work?  Whats she decided to do?

XXXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
I've just got in from the garden - been pruning fruit trees, roses and planting up autumn containers. Wanted to get some heavier jobs out of the way before EC/ET next week.

I too was wondering what had happened to the lady from work, KT? Glad you spoke with Tim, Laura. He's (and you are) very lucky he maintains such 'super sperm'. Perhaps DH's variable results were incentive enough to help his willpower. You asked about my EC - well it will be sometime next week - I'm rescanned on Monday am, and from the way things feel, I should think it will be mid week. TMI but I'm secreting so much fluid - nurse said it was normal, so I'm accepting it, feels weird though.

Hey KT, it is so exciting about your scan. Shame you have to have a blood test re the killer cells - I'm praying they're ok, and no need for more plasma.  

I'm not sure about the cyclogest yet, although I'm hoping I'll be kept on them for 12 weeks. Before I started treatment, my progesterone levels were always 2, whether day 21 or not, which I know just shows I hadn't ovulated, but still worries me as that's my norm.

Hope you've both had a great day. Time to wake up for KT and time to slow down for Laura! Enjoy the meal....

Love Lily.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Ah, the girl at work.....well, she is, we think, m/c at the moment. This is a good thing in that at least she does not have to make the decision to abort (next Thursday) and I think that she will get over this better. She is still going to have the pre-abortion scan next week just in case but she is bleeding heavily at the mo. 

My boobs have stopped hurting this evening. is that bad I'm sure it is. I'm nearly in tears.

Lily - do not worry about the 'secretions' this is good. I got loads this time and it worked so keep secreting!!

Laura - how come you have kept the IVF quiet I get the Clipper tea from Waitrose (or Ocado)

Night...KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT,
Interesting update on the girl at work. I feel sad for her, but hope she can recover better too.

Load of ladies say their boobs hurt one minute, then not the next. They continued to have a healthy baby! So rest happily. It'll soon be your scan and then it will seem all the more real!  

Are you saying , you didn't get so much secretion on the other occasions? I do hope I am following in your footsteps  

As for Laura keeping the IVF quiet - I have too. Only DH knows - and that's cos I had little choice in telling him! I couldn't bear the stress of people wondering why we weren't pregnant, everytime they saw us. Prefer them just to wonder....

Night KT, Night Laura xxxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Morning girls,

Katey - please please please don't stress yourself...I've also heard lots of ladies saying that one minute they have sore boobs then not - is there a pregnancy board on this site? I'm sure there is...why not post on there and ask sure the ladies will put your mind at ease... positives...your numbers are rising nicely so wee one is growing as s/he should.    

I'm 'glad' your friend is m/carring if you know what i mean, very sad but if she was going to have an abortion a miscarriage is easier on the mind.  

Lily - oh where do you live?? fruit trees in the garden...souds lovely!!!  Oh I so want a house and a garden!!  I'm so fedup living in a tiny flat!!!  As for your CF I guess we all have a little more at ovulation, so with all them growing I guess your going to have a bit morethan usual. 

As for me AF has no appeared yet and I'm worrying as not had any signs at all yet.  I have to have a bleed before I can start stimming and so worrying that its not going to arrive on time...I only have a 9 days til my scan... when did you ladies get AF when d/regging??  I know you didn'y d/r this cycle Katey but you did on the ones before?

Anyway I'm off to the shops to get my nephew a 1st birthday present... A trip to mothercare superstore just what i need!   

Speak later XXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - My af was late when down regging. Can't remember by how much but definitely a few days.

Lily - I secreted more this time and not much at all last time. I think that showed better quality eggs but that's just my opinion. I bet there are loads of bfps when secretions were at a minimum. If I have learnt anything by IVF it is that nothing is standard.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Grrrr!!just typed a post and it said that I'd already posted it and wouldn't let me post!!!

Quick re write!!!

My head  hurts and Im in bed.... I have my clipper tea Yeah!!

Katey hows your boobs?
Lily exciting week ahead you all set to go?

XXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey Laura - how come you're typing form your bed? Oh suppose you're on a laptop. You don't need a big garden for a fruit tree, eg conference pears and Victoria plums are both self fertile, so you only need one tree of each etc. No, I'm not quite set to go this week. Trying not to think about what's happening and concentrating on the end of the 2ww. As for AF, I didn't have one. After 3 weeks of d/r, they saw my womb lining and bloods were correct and so started on stims immeditely. The d/r was started day of AF. Obviously a different protocol.

How ya doin' KT? It must be hard, not being able to see inside your womb. The scan for the heartbeat is going to be so precious - wish I could rush it along.  

Went for another country ramble. Well more of a stroll - only 6 miles today and a sunday pub lunch which was rather good. Didn't want to exert my ovaries too much. Trying to keep the 20 small follies hovering around their starting blocks. Just hope the larger 8 enjoyed themselves.

Love to you both, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

6 miles is not a stroll...it is a near KT marathon. You do know that this level of walking is out after et My Dr told me that there was a study in which IVFers were 30% less successful if they exercised after et. I said that I had stopped (boo hoo - not!) after ec. He said a 20 min walk a day is all that he would allow me and he prefers me to have showers. Which sucks - especially seeing as I have backache to end all backache (scared even more now) and I cannot wallow in hot water! 

Pleased to announce that boobs have taken a slightly active role again today. Nips have turned bright red...I look sunburned!!! weird twinges left and right and occasionally af like pains. Wish they would go go go. Lily, I too wish that you could hurry the scan along.

You will both see (soon I hope) that this bit is worse than the 2ww....endless sitting around querying every pain and ache and hoping that all is ok. 

Laura - why the headache? Down reg drugs? Do you feel warm yet? Cleavage dampness...oh yes I remember it well!!! What do you think of the clipper tea It's a bit like wee but not too bad!

Lily - I know that I know this but I have mislaid the memory.....what clinic are you at Is it the same one as the clomid cycles or a new one??

Prime Suspect tonight...hurrah hurrah. Love it! And leftover trifle from lunch!! mmm!!!

(Are my posts erratic do you think?)!!!!!!!

Hugs, KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

well Af has arrived!  I tell you I'm sure as soon as i got the preg test out of the cupboard and wasted it (another £10 down the drain) she decides to show.    Still another hurdle over and done with!!

A garden with even one tree in would be wonderful... I have a window box!!

You are good with your walks!! I've pretty much been home all weekend spent most of today under me duvet!!  Yes gota laptop but its no wireless so have to have a long phone lead dragging across the floor!!

I think I just had my first hot flush too!!!  

Yeah for all of us lets all hope the next few weeks fly by without a hitch!!  In fact lets hope the next year goes by without a hitch!!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hurrah!!!! 1st hot flush!!! May they continue for the next 10 months (yes, they do!).

Wrap up well!!

Katey


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Katey - glad your boobs are back!!  If you know what I mean!  I think those cramps etc is prob your womb stretching and moving about!!  Growing all big for katey jnr to stretch her legs.... I've decided its a girl!!!

Lily - yeah try not to think, thats what I'm doing anyway.  It'll soon be over and you'll be on the dreaded 2ww and then the dreaded wait for first scan, then the dreaded wait for 12 week scan then worrying about the birth, then worrying about innoculations...........  worrying about them geeting in with the wrong crowd... blah blah!!!!!!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Are you meant to go cold after your flush??  I've got headache, af pains, hot and cold flushes and feel SOOO tired... its working!!  9 days to go!!  How do you hid a hot flush from work people??

How much time off work have/ will you two have off work, i need to plan it in my diary as I get booked up with stuff pretty fast.

Clipper tea is nice!! Although I also bought some after eights as I feel down so that kinda defeats the object really!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Yes boobs are back!!! and one is pointing down, the other up!!!! so funny!!

Just watched family Brat Camp....oh they really are needing to be locked in a convent!!!

I am lucky with regard to work as I have no set schedule and can come and go. This week I have pay reviews and performance appraisals to do and other things pop up. But I can take time if I want it. That is the ONLY benefit of owning a business but it's worth it.

I would probably try to get a few days after et as anywhere between day 6 to day 10 (after ec) is the implanting time roughly speaking. So that would be day 4 to day 8 after et. I took it quite easy until then. How much time are you allowed

I love After 8's.....mmm, wanting some now but not having caffeine. Boo hoo. Would love some maltesers or munchies..mmm oh yes, a dairy milk bar! STOP!

Laura...are you sure you do not have a chill? I don't remember cold flushes but the rest of it sounds about right!!! The menopause stinks!

KT xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hiya ladies.
KT - love the photo - it's a pleasure to meet with you and your DH. Looks like a posh do. Welcome back boobs!!!! Thanks for letting me know about the exercise advice you received. Whilst I was told not to do any aerobic exercise, I was thinking walking a couple of hours or so would be ok. I hate sitting still for too long. Will have to rethink.... 

Laura, AF - yippee - all go from here then. How truly exciting! By the end of the d/r you feel awful. It takes a bit to kick in, but once it does, it's headache and complete exhaustion. I felt soooo tired, but couldn't sleep  . Recovery is quick once on the stimms though. I did get the flush/chill factor too, so don't worry. With regards to work, I'm currently having early am scans (before 8am) so no bother, but plan to take it easy from ET. We are also self-employed, so I plan on doing whatever I can or feel able to do the week after. Have you booked the week off? Made me laugh about the clipper tea and after 8's - bit like puting flora light on your jacket potato, then having a cream cake....  

Lots of love, Lily. Feeling surprisingly normal   , except u know what (see backnotes).


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Thank you for your photo compliment. It was a xmas dinner in 2003. It is the only photo of me I have as I am not a big fan of my pics. I have a bright red ring of sunburn which makes me look daft (Xmas on holiday).

I am feeling deprived now...how come I did not get the chill factor? (imagine, if you will, excessive lip pouting at this time)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, lily, you too are self employed. what do you do 

What do you do Laura?

How nosey am I!!!! Inquisitive, i'm afraid.

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I know I'm a bit naughty a!!!  Promise I'll be good when I'm stimming!!

headache gone!!!

Prime suspect was great,I got a bit choked up when the dad said thanks.  I should have been a detective!!  I love it!!

Work is difficult as I'm taking it as a/l so don't want to use up my whole years leave on this (espec as may be doing it again in feb!!).  Hospital said they can sign you off for 2 weeks afer ec but I have 2 months off begining of year already and worry abut my sick record.  I plan my own work so can try to have 'light' days.  I've got some study days I can take too as doing a course at work at the moment.  Hmmmm.  Need to get my diary out and plan properly after my baseline scan.  I wish I worked for myself!!

Anyway off to bed now.

I'll catch up wth you ladies tom... good luck with the scan tom Lily. XXX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

did you have the hot flushes in the summer??  I think the chills come from me stripping off during the heat wave and then realising its bloody cold!!

I'm a senior social worker in a learning disability team, i just work with teenagers... so I manage social workers and I get all the difficult cases, lots of abuse and horrible families who shout at me all the time!!!  Not exactly a job condusive for relaxing and reducing anxiety!!  

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

That is really quite stressful! No, not at all relaxing. BUT how interesting! Does it ever make you question 'why?' That's something I do a lot of since ttc started. Do you enjoy it

I down regged in, mmm let me think, June. Was it hot then? I am realy glad I didn't have to this time. Fanbloodytastic! I did take the down reg drugs with the stims this time but they had no effect as I was stimming. I was like a pin cushion! I have a sharps box and honestly no idea about how to dispose of the contents...Dr not interested. What do you guys do/intend to do with yours

Must must go to bed. strangely not that tired (fretting again now) but i'm sure i'll drop off (if I lie on the edge of the bed!!!!!! The old ones are the best!!!).

Catch up tomorrow. Sweet dreams both.

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm tired this morning.  

Its not that stressful to be honest... or I'm just used to it??  Not sure!  But I love my job most of the time, it is very interesting but I do have to do long hours!

I've not gone in this morning, I have a meeting in Kent this afternoon and decided I'd not go into the office first but pop into somone else in the same area.  So having a rest this morning!!

XXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Mornin' ladies  

Well, I'm a bit worried I've been holding back some of my follies. I was soooo worried, I'd get OHSS, but now those on one side have stopped growing   - there's just squillions of small ones <7mm. On the other side, they're between 15 and 12mm, approx 7 (2 seem to have caught up with the others). I'm hoping these 7 keep going with no setbacks. Do you think we can have a follie growing dance girls?? I'm on a bit of a downer as it was a bit sad to be told some had stopped growing, although I know I should be grateful for those that are growing and for not increasing my chances of OHSS.

I bet your job is really interesting, Laura. No doubt emotional too. Glad to hear you can organise your workload accordingly after ET - so it's like being self-employed. As for us, we have a plant nursery. I spend as much time as possible outside, where I prefer it. Will take lighter duties next week and catch up on paperwork (VAT etc).

What about you KT? What's the business? Sounds like you employ a few more staff if you're busy with pay reviews and performance appraisals. As for the photo, I hadn't noticed the sunburn! It will probably be a million years before I add one as I don't like them of myself either. Ahhh the beauty of the digital camera - one click and they're all gone (well of me anyway!).

Love to you both, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Lily -  don't fret... I'd be over the moon with 7!!!!!!  but I will do a little dance anyway!!  

Wow what a lovely job... I ove being outdoors, I used to have an allotment but all the old blokes got on my nerves!!  I can't wait to move the country and have a garden to sit out in!!  So do I get mates rates in your nursery!!!  Katey said we can have mates rates in her nursery (children not plants!) when we all have our babies!!!!  

I want my own business!!  Maybe you ladies can give me some advice on how to start up!! I'll have to have some kind of nursery too??!!

anyway I should do some paperwork I guess!!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Of course you can have mates rates - come and take as many as you like! Ironically, I don't seem to have too many problems propagating plants! Anyway, thought I'd have a little dance with you, to boost the spirits. 

Love Lily. xx Where's Kittikat KT?


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

You ladies are too nice!!  All this mates rates stuff I'm getting!!Not sure what I can offer in return  Maybe take your children into care!!!  LOL Only kidding!!

Katey it prob laying in bed being brought clipper tea and sultana loaf in bed by her lovely Robin!!!

She may make it to the lounge to check in on us once she has had her breakfast!!!!

XXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I'll have you know there was no lounging for me today!!! I have done 3 appraisals already and i'm revving myself up for 3 this afternoon (I have 22 to do in total) and a telling off for my deputy who has been telling porky pies!

OK Lily - Firstly DON'T PANIC! IVF is a series of ups and downs and there's no getting away from it. I thinl like Laura, that you should be happy with the 7 because if all the goodness goes into those ones then they will be strong and feisty! I'm a big believer in quality over quantity, (I developed this mantra after it became clear that egg quantity would never work in my favour, so it was a self protection mechanism). So now we must all focus on developing the 7...sort of hone in on them and give them 'the power'. What you need is a couple of real pearls and then Bam! we'll get a bfp!  (my dance)
Also now that I know you have plant knowledge i'm going to drive you nuts with ?'s. Hurrah!!!
Please pop a pic on....I am sure you are ravishing and it woud be nice to see both your smiley faces!

Laura - I think the missing link we have, nursery wise, is food. Lily has plants, I have childcare so what we could do with is some form of organic, decafinated supply chain (lily can give you the veg etc and you can supply day nurseries and households). And, as the organic food industry is rising by 60% I think it is a killer business to start.

Also I have another really really good idea to do with infertility but we can discuss that when we all meet.

This time next year we will be millionaires (and mothers!).

Still hot and head achey?

Today my boobs are still bruised feeling and we have dizziness back. Backache has subsided but there are aches in the stomach area...mind you that could be IBS as I suffer from that.
I want to be sick but no cigar!

Got to get back to work

Later....Katey xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks for the pep talk KT - I needed it. I'm feeling a bit calmer now as I can see the bigger picture again. It's just all the worry of the unknown - how many eggs are they going to get from the follies? How many eggs are going to fertilise? How many are going to divide? Think I better stop before I send myself into a hole again. Thanks for the dance too - hope you were wearing an orange dress?!

Also sorry for my stupidity! Fortunately I have the hormones as an excuse - my mind is definately clouding over as I get to day 14 of stimms. Of course I know you have a childrens nursery - doh  So, do you have 22 people working for you at just one nursery? As for the sharps bin - I used to be able to hand it in at the gp surgery, but last time I went, they said something about the council have to take them now. Anyway, a nice nurse heard the conversation and took it from me. So you could try there....

What do you think about the new business venture Laura? Do they do young businesswomen of the year or just woman - cos I reckon the three of us are definate contenders!! and based around food too - remember oh so long ago now, when we realised our shared love of spinachey curry - yum! Can't wait to hear your really good idea to do with infertility KT - can't you pm us it? Perhaps I should start a list of all the things I'm going to buy - hope it's not just more IVF treatment - Oh dear I'm off on a doom and gloomer again...

Hope you had a good meeting in Kent Laura and have managed to stay awake!

By the way KT whats with the:



kateyl said:


> I want to be sick but no cigar!


Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I mean I want to get nausea but it's not happening!!! Soon I hope...that way I know Teenie is still with us.

I know just how you feel re: eggs. I was the same way. But, as I said before, I would rather 1 or 2 supersonic ones that 10 ok ones....although both works. Just my preference. I think it is born out of the fact that I get pg realy easily yet they say that I have a poor response and a low ovarian reserve. I actually think that I have few, but powerful! Hey ho, we'll see if I am right! (1st time for everything).

I'm off to eat now....so hungry it's mad! 

KT xxx (back later)


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

So what's for dinner KT? We had a roast and beings the oven was on, I did my favourite roast veggies too with extra shallots and garlic (good job there's no scan tomorrow! ).

Feeling hot and grumpy. Been ok till today. Don't think it can be just the scan result - really do feel unusually grumpy? Did you by the end of stimming KT?

Lovely Laura - where are u?

 Lily


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Dinner is grilled chicken and veg. Boring. But I have got through 3 slices of malt loaf since I got home!!!!

I got very down at end of stims because Dr said my chances of pg were 15-20% due to low ovarian reserve and poor response. Ha! Showed him!!! That's why I say to you that 1 egg or 101 eggs the resut could be the same. My embryo quality was not as good this time either.

I think that the only advice I can give you is that there is no set of defined rules and the only way to get through is to tackle each step as it comes.

If my pg works (ie live birth) then I will wonder what I did differently but I am sure there is nothing. It was my time to get a bfp but it may not go all the way and, if not, my next bfp might. who knows? That's just how it is.

No amount of Brazil nuts will make the difference!! You are just anxious because it means so much. That is sooooo normal. Chomp on that garlic I say!

Does that make sense


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Yes it does   Can I call you KT Guru??

I do worry that I'm not concentrating enough on pineapple juice and whey powder etc, but I think I could easily end up being taken away in a straight jacket by the time the 2ww is here as it is. I am trying my first attempt (and I pray it does work) with a fairly relaxed approach and hope that works. Obviously avoiding the obvious (caffeine/alcohol) and eating plenty of natural stuff. Trouble is my relaxed approach goes out of the window, when things don't go as I'm expecting. Hey ho, that's life. This IF journey has opened my eyes to alot since it started 5.5 years ago, no doubt there's room for some more learning about myself yet....  

By the way, you didn't say, are all 22 people working at your place? Must be al ot of children you're taking care of.

Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Yes all 22! We have up to 73 children at any one time.

And yes again, call me guru anytime!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think, given the circumstances we are all in, all 3 of us are doing a fantastic job. You are handling it so well and IT WILL work for all of us...or else!

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Girls!!

Well I had a terrible afternoon.  I had a review in Kent with a lovely foster family but this other social worker was there and kept going on and on about whata she sis at the weekend and what clothes she bought on ebay and even got the argos catalogue out in the review to discuss xmas presents she was mad!!!!  So the review lasted 3 hours and that meant I got stuff in 2 hours of traffic!!!  Grrrr!!

Then I popped in to lakeside and bought myself some lovely new work trousers and a blouse and tim some nice shoes!!!

Got a curry on the way home (I had tarka dal, brinjal bargi, mushroom rice and peeshwari nan... mmmm)  now I'm on sofa watching wife swap... nearly tom and then it a week til my scan!!!!

Yeah I'm up for being a millionaire for next year!!  I'dlove to run my own business, I've looked into some courses,I have some work related ideas but they all need some capital.

And a mum for next year!!!!

No to photos.... hate photos of me (and mirrors!!)

XXXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Glad you're back Laura - but you've ruined my poem! Perhaps I should get a life   Think I better return to finding DH a new watch (his broke yesterday).

Laura, Laura, where are you?
Perhaps you're lost in Kent.
It's getting late 
and we miss you here,
Oh where art thou,
Our Laura, our dear?  

Lily.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

wow!!!  another possible source of income there LilY!!!!  Poetry!!

My headache has gone, is that a good thing?? Worrying now its not working as I feel fine again!!

Roll on friday!! XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Girls I'm off to bed.Got a long day tom so I don't know if i will get on so I will catch up with you on Wed, although mate just called and offered me and my niece and nephew free tickets for Lion King this week and my only free eve will be wed - is it miserabl of me not to want to take them??  I'm so tired, I'll have to come all the way from london to pick them up and then go all the way back into London with them.  

I'm a miserable aunty!! 

Night ladies XXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Laura, that's the 2nd time tonight - you beat me to the post. I'm off to bed too. No I don't think you're a miserable auntie, by the end of d/regging, I was unbelievably tired, and not feeling very sociable. Would be fun though ... Hope you feel more like it tomorrow.

In answer to your penultimate post:
Have you actually started the stimming (sorry I'm a bit confused), if so that stops the headaches? Otherwise, maybe you're just enjoying Wife swap - I found my headaches worse when I was a) thirsty and b) concentrating too much. Never seen the programme - sounds em interesting.

Night Laura and KT. Lily.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily...you need to watch wife swap! It is classy tv (not) but amazes me!

Laura - I think that you should not beat yourself up. You will be exhausted and that does not make you a bad aunt it just makes you a tired mum to be (soon, hurrah). My niece came over on Sunday and I just found myself cutting of because my head couldn't take it. In fact I have been the same in the reviews....trying to look interested whilst finding innovative ways to keep my eyes open!
Once the stims begin you should perk up a wee bit! It's like coming out of hibernation!!!!! Just take it easy now when you can to prep your body for the embies.

Lily - your poetry was inspired! I think that maybe we should have a poem of the day or week....what do you think

How are you feeling in yourself Getting that heavy feeling yet? When is the next scan? Did they suggest when ec may be?? Do you want Laura and I to stand outside the room and sing to you when ec is happening That would be so funny! My voice is pants!

I'm off to a funeral now. hate funerals.

Hugs, Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh I hate funerals lucky not had to go too many... someone close?

Wife swap is great trash tv... i love it!!

I am taking the kids tomorrow night to see lion king.  Sure I'll be fine once I'm there!  I've heard its great and they are dead excited.

Tonight I am going for dinner with a women who just wants to pick my brains about work and although she is nice I don't really want to socialise with her... I'm so polite I really should be more assertive!!  But hopefully won't be too late, was meant to go to an eid party as well but I have not gone.. one of my clietns will be really ****** off at me but hay ho!!

Thursday I'm meetingmy friend for a curry and then friday night I am laying on the sofa and doing nothing!!!  and this will continue for the entire weekend!!  I'm shattered. Under a week to go!!!

So girls whats happening with you?

Lily another scan tom?
katey - whats in store for you??  More appraisals??

Am at work will leave soon and then I'll hopefuly post again.

XXX

XXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey Laura, you really do put some hours in! What with your evenings out too with colleagues/clients and friends I'm wondering when you get some me time?! Suppose Friday will have to do. You seem to be on a different protocol to me, when do you start stimming?

Sorry about the funeral KT - not the best of occasions, although I still find that they are a good way (apart from paying ones respects of course) to meet family and friends not seen for a long time. No doubt it helps that the people I've attended have usually been quite old and it was more a celebration of their life. How are you feeling? Have you told many people yet about your  ?

I'm ok, just feeling tired and dense   Looking forward to the next installment of poetry (you did promise KT!) and yes I really would love you two to sing outside the theatre door - might make me relax a bit! Although I can easily get into an uncontrollable fit of giggles (even without the red wine), so maybe not such a good idea.  

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Bit of confusion and text problems and I was stode up!!  So came home unexpected and found tim on the lap top looking at porn.  I'm so upset, he knows I hate him looking at porn on the pc, I knew he had been doing it as he deletes the history and  we have had arguments about it before but he promised me he wouldn't do it again.  So he is lying to me.... again.... he lied to me about the drinking the other night.

Am i over reacting?

He has stormed off now to the gym... or that is where he says he is going.  I hate being lied too so much, if I can't trust him  I just eaten 4 aftereights.

I'm feeling really let down.  Fed up of always pleasing everyone else, your right i never have any me time,I work long hours and for what??  To support tim as he puts all his money into his bikes??  Sometimes I wonder what on earth I'm doing with him. He is like a child and yes I want to be a mumbut not for a 33 year old.

SOrry girls having a bad night.  

5 after eights now!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

well ladies I'm off to bed, I'm tied, ratty and upset.  I've eaten loads of after eights too.  

I'm going to see lion king tom evening so I'll talk to you ladies either late tom or Thurs.

           Grrrrrrrr!!!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oh dear....looks like the after 8 company could be in for a hit! Send some up here....please!!!!!

This is a tough one. Not sure what is the best advice. I think that if you are secure that he loves you then don't panic too much if he surfs the porn sites because they (men) are a bit wierd when it comes to boobs and flower gardens and they seem to need to look. Who knows why pictures get them so wired. Beyond me. But as sure as night follows day men will always sneak a peak. 

Also ttc tends to make love lives a little clinical and boring. I know that Robin and I went through a really bad patch when I was ttc naturally during ov because it was planned baby making and about as romantic as a stinky sock up your left nostril. In fact, it became harder and harder for robin to get excited. That drove me mad but now, looking back I completely understand why.

I know you need this like a hole in the head but try to, if you can, see it for what it is and brush it off. He is probably missing his Laura and just did a couple of stupid things.

Do you agree Lily??

I am practising 'Club Tropicana' for lily's ec day....you with me laura? Maybe followed by a rendition of 'Chick, chick, chick, chick, chicken....lay a little egg for me'. So looking forward to it!!!!

I am cream crackered. The funeral was sad. The chap in ? was a friend of the family. He took my dad food shopping a week last saturday (dad can't drive any more) and when he brought him home he said that he flt unwell. 30 mins later he had died. Such a shock and I still cannot believe it.

I did 6 reviews this morning, then ran to the funeral, then to 3 banks and Debenhams (ok last stop was for me) and I was nearly on my knees with tiredness. Now I am wide awake! Go figure.

The girl from work just called me to say she thinks she 'passed' the pg last night. It has realy had a bad effect on her seeing that. Another reason that I am glad she did not abort.

I have told a few people about my bfp but I am still in denial myself and I don't believe it will work out until I have a baby in my arms. That's a lot of time to fret and worry.

Hope you feel better soon Laura (sending you hugs and cyber chocolate) and let us know what's happening Lily!!!

KT xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh Laura, Laura, what a time for this to happen. Not that there's a good time, but at the moment you need all your spare strength to concentrate on the IVF. One thing's for sure, with such hormonal influences, it's not a good time to make any big decisions. It's also possible you won't handle any arguments as rationally and as well as the non-IVF Laura could have.

It seems 2 major things here, not just the looking at the porn, which hurts more cos you'd already made an agreement on that, but also that he's lied again. First thing is, don't whatsoever take it personally. There's no need to lose any self respect. He's a bloke that's found a way to release his stress, whether that's though the wine or porn. Both are such an easy thing to get addicted to. I agree with KT, that all men love to look at women (clothed or unclothed), but if they've a partner it should be done with some respect for their feelings. We swim a lot, and it's quite obvious from DH's face when an attractive woman walks in with a bikini on (low and behold, I turn round and there one is)! But he knows the boundarys of what I'll accept. It's not even age related, until men are in their coffins, they'll always love a pretty face (cute bum, etc) - I worked with plenty of older people in their 80's/90's and they're no different.

Thing is, how can you get some control back? I don't think you should just accept what you're not happy about, but having a soul destroying fight, is certainly not what your body or mind needs in preparation for egg growing. One thing's for sure, he shouldn't be deleting the web history. That's taking the control well and truly from you and is the easiest thing for him to agree not to do. Incidentally, you can assure him, that the web history is only one way of seeing what's been looked at, there's also cookies to check. Hopefully this will readdress the control balance.

I also agree with KT, that going through the IF process, really is a challenge to relationships in general and sex lives. Especially those times when we were told to go forth and do the necessaries twice a day for 3 days, was a very interesting experience. I ended up feeling like a prostitute, giving DH a massage first to get him ready, cos at the end of the day, I did just want his sperm inside of me. IF certainly helps strip away the spontaneity and thrill of sex. Is this something DH is  missing? Hope you get to have a good heart to heart with him until you feel comfortable with the situation. It's good to remind yourself why you wanted to go through IVF with him, and why you thought he'd be a good dad. Those points are different to the pure self indulgent activity he's taking part in now.

I've found in past relationships (one of which involved porn and abuse - sexually, physically and mentally) that the thing that seemed to hurt the most was the lying. I'll spare you the details, but one minute I'd be scared for my life, only to find the next minute, my ex crying like a baby, and me wanting to forgive him.   So many promises would be made and I'd try to let my self protection mechanisms go until the next time and it was always to find out he'd lied again that hurt. It's easy to ask 'how could he lie to me', 'why am I so worthless'? But it's not you, it's something he's got to figure for himself. He just needs to know what you're willing to accept.

Sorry if I've rambled. It upset me to read how you upset you were at a time when you dont need it.

How are things today?

I had my (what could be final) scan this morning. It showed 6 follies size 20 to 18 and 1 size 15. Also showed >15 between 6 and 10mm, but they have no purpose. So, I'm awaiting the call to confirm EC, which could be Friday, with ET Monday. Did you have a day 2 or 3 transfer KT?

Feeling ok, trying not to think about it. Maybe I'll write another poem, to take my mind off it. Either that or do the VAT  

Love to you both, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

You see...VAT...reall hacks me off. We, ie nurseries, are charged it but we cannot charge it or claim back. Most unfair but that's another thing!

I had a day 2 transfer: 1 was 2 cells and 1 was 4 cells. The 4 cell had more 'fragmentation' . I was always concerned that day 2 was too soon but the Dr said not and clearly we now know not. 

A monday would make yours day 3? Good too from what I know. So your trigger shot would be wednesday Mine ws 36 ish hrs before ec but I know some clinics are a bit longer/shorter.

I am so excited. Your measurements look really good!! Oooohhhhhhh can't wait.

How you doing today Laura Hope you get time to check in and catch up 'cause we miss ya!

I'm ok. Had 2 reviews this morning but my next 2 will be tough because they are managers and I am not close to happy with their performances. Wish me luck!!!!

Only 1 1/2 weeks until my scan. Scared scared scared

KT xxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

where are you both?? Well, Laura is living it up, I know, but where are you Lily

K


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
Hope your last 2 reviews went smoothly (hope they got the message). Looks like we're both scared scared scared, for different reasons. You are understandably worried about your first scan - it will be amazing though! I'm scared I'm not going to get any embryos. At the moment I'm more worried about that than the actual EC/ET, and considering I'm petrified of those, I'm obviously losing my marbles worrying about whether we'll get any embies.

I've just taken my trigger shot, ready for EC 09:30 Friday. No going back now! I'm officially ready to burst. So my trousers tell me too. I feel like a seal with all this water on board! Anyway DH kindly informs me he can't tell!  

Hope you enjoyed the time out watching the film Laura. Thinking of you. We're missing you loads!

Hey KT, what's happened to the poem?

Lots of love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Friday at 9:30 eh!!! I'm fit to burst!!!!

Actually it's true, I am. I made cup cakes for DH and I am on #6 now!!!

There is nothing I can say to make you feel better about embryo production because I had the same fear myself and nothing helped me either. From now on it's just 1 thing after another but you will get through it - whatever - and live to fight another day. What I will say is you have an excellent chance to get embies so hang onto that and just remember that train journey you told me about.

Off to the land of nod now...excessive wisdom has worn me out!!! 

KT xxx

ps working on a poem but i'm not that great. I'll try.


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh great - I can't wait: I love poems. Don't worry how good it is: I can tell it will be good already and mine was awful (I'm blaming the hormones). Just remember you're taking my mind off my EC. I really laughed at your wit about the cupcakes. I can see the surprise on the drs face next week when they say, oh yes we can see a heartbeat, oh by gum, there's already a little tum too!

Goodnight. Hope to hear from you tomorrow Laura  

Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey there

Just back from an onslaught at Tesco and think I may never recover from the pushing and shoving extravaganza that it grocery shopping.

How are you both today Laura did you have a nice evening Lily, no injections tonight That must feel good. Tomorrow is the day...mmm...I shall go have a cup of tea now and think up a poem especially for you!!!

Check in later

Katey


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

OK...here goes....(drum roll please)

There once was a lady called Lily
Who produced so many eggs it was silly
The only way it could stop
Was to get her follies to pop
Which resulted in Billy & Milly!!

I rock!!!

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
How's the poem developing Katey? I can't wait  

How's lovely Laura? Missing you  

Lots of love, Lily. xx

Update: You posted at the same time! Your poem's lovely!   I like the sound of Billy and Milly too! Thanks KT.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well I wouldn't call it lovely but.....well, let's say Shakespeare stirred and Keats considered reincarnation!

When can you update us tomorrow

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay girls - I'm back

I had a lovely time at the theatre with my little ems watching lion king,I didn't get home tilmidnight though had a long day today and feeling really really shattered!!!!

I'll post more tom  - I have to go to bed now.... shattered.

lily - GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!!!!!!  soon be over with and them little eggs will be doing there stuff with them little swimmers!!!  

I'm home all weekend with nothing planned,I am on training tom so should be home earlyiish too.... can't wait for a lazy weekend and hopefully stimms next week.

Katey - hope your not over doing it?

Love to you both..... moody tired laura. XXXXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Glad you're back!

Lily and I missed our 3rd muskateer!

Night!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

off to bed.

Good luck lily...will be thinking about you.

KT xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Night ladies. Glad to have you back Lovely Laura. Should be able to update sometime after 3pm. Fingers crossed (for stage 1 anyway).
Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I NEED AN UPDATE...somebody be here!!!! Lily, how are you?What happened?

Laura...hello pops, you ok

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT,
Sorry for the delay - did a Katey and went shopping! The embrologist has got 4 fat eggs to inject. I was a little disppointed initially, but have been reminded by the consultant and nurse that with PCOS, it's so easy to go overboard and get 20 poor quality eggs, and so to stimulate slowly and gradually and get 4 mature ones is a success. So I'm happy.

EC was fine. Can't remember a thing - thank heavens! Only have ovary pain now, but that's the least of my worries. Have to phone clinic approx lunch tomorrow to see if any have fertilised. ET currently planned for Monday - please please cross those fingers!!!!

Where's Laura??

BFN, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

OK...I am getting stressed now...which is not good for me at all!!!

Lily come in!!!

KT

OK you posted. I so agree with what you were told. 4 good eggs is a real bonus!

I got 6....only 4 mature one and 2 embies resulted and hey presto!! It's quality all the way!

You did great and I told you it would be ok....I speak the truth heh!!!

Feet up now!!! When can you find out tomorrow I'm not sure I can wait that long!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oh, lunch tomorrow....sorry, I did not read properly.

Ok well lunch it is!!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks KT - you really are a fine bud! I must admit I am nervous. Here's to tomorrow. Kinda out of all our hands at the moment - unless you're able get in touch with those egg/spermatazoa partners and nurture them along!

Please please please. Lily. xx

Off to rest up for a bit. Back later.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls!!!

Lily!!!!! yay you nmut be chufffed Ec is out of the way..4 big fat ones sounds great!!!

Wow both of you went shopping.... i have alot to live up to!!  I hope you 2 are telling me the truth... I hope you are not PMing eachother dicussing how painful EC is!!!!!

Katey - how is you and jnr doing?  Hows the boobs/ sickness/ weeing all doing as they should?? 

I'm feeling better now have had a bad couple of days think I have over done it. Was on reallygood training today and was home by 5 and had a snooze for an hour or so and feel  nice now... nce to know I've just got me to think about over th weekend.  I have some college work to do over the weekend and have to go to see my brother tom... his little sprog is 1 years old tom.  But apart from that just gonna rest.  I think i may write a poem for you ladies tomorrow!!  it will be my mission!!

Anyway I'm around all eve so hopefully I'll hear from you ladies later.

Hope your ovaries are feeling better Lily. XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura pops...you're here!!!

We are not, I swear (ivf lady oath) that we are not telling fibs about ec. You must trust!! And you must write a poem...yeah!!!!

I'm glad that you are having some r&r - you need to prep now ready for IVF.

I think that Jnr is ok (24 days old today!!). I am getting anxious about next Friday already!!! Boobs come and go - wierd - no extra peeing, shocking burps (!), dizzy loads and tired!!! Tonight I got severe right eye tiredness!!! Lol.

No nausea (am praying to be sick sick sick).

Hoping that teeny - soon to be pip - is doing good.

I wonder what Lily's are up to! How wierd is that....you are at home whilst in a lab far far away you are creating an embryo or 4!!! That is just bizarre. I remember thinking that the night of ec when I was in the shower and it just mesmerized me... (how the hell do you spell mesmerized).

I'm off for a Clipper!

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Katey

I have been so naughty today.... I have had about 8 biscuits!!  I was on training and had lots o tea breaks!!  And I've just had a takeaway and a glass of red wine! 

I'll be back on the wagon tomorrow!!  Promise!!

where is Lily? Think she having a lay down?

I feel quite calm tonight, which is good felt really stressedlast couple of days.  Tim gave me a foot massage and back rub so that was luverly!!!

Yes bit of an odd thought with your prospective baby growing in a dish in a lab!!  But they will soon be back home in Lily's tum.

Oh only a week to your scan!!!  How exciting!!

My other mate on the Barts thread tested today but she hasn't posted  Bit worried.

Anyway Jonathon Ross is on now, just watched Blue Murder not seen it before but it was good... I love a bit of crime drama!!!

Lots of love my lovely  XXXXXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
I'm back from a lovely rest on the sofa whilst DH massaged my feet too! Your turn next KT! I'm busy drinking and weeing at the moment to ease any ovary pains. Enjoyed Have I got news for you. I love Ian Hislop and Paul Merton: although I'm a bit worried about Paul - he's looking a bit tired  .

So pleased you're having a much deserved chill out Laura. I have decided that preparing the body pre-IVF is more important than anything else. Plus, no we are not fibbing about the EC. There is absolutely NO PERSON in this world who could be more scared than I was today going for EC. DH had never seen me so nervous - like a frightened mouse! I'm normally so assertive, but I was petrified that I would have to be held down, screaming whilst they performed their job!   I really can't believe though that I ended up in recovery room and it was all over. All I experienced was the needle going in, then feeling like I'd had a couple of red wines really fast (you'll like that bit Laura  ) and then that was it - over and out - slept like a baby. OK so maybe I talked in my sleep (common apparently), or writhed about but I have no recollection at all.

Here's to KT feeling really sick soon!   Plus I can't wait for lovely Laura's poem....  

Lots of love, Lily. xx Off to rest my womb and ovaries (  there'll be something to put into it on Monday).


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

There realy will be something to put into it on monday!!! Not sure if this helps, but after et (and the train home) dh and I lay on the sofa (top to tail) and put on a  movie and just dozed off together. When we awoke it felt that everything was right. I cannot explain it. The tranquility just seemed to help somehow. Does that make any sense??

Laura I say enjoy the blow out and forget the guilt! What can you do now anyway??!!
Lily is right though. You need to start prepping during stims...not anything wierd, just eat well and, this is the most important, relax. Relaxing is the thing I suffer with the most. I am a fliberty jibbet and I cannot stop my head from working overtime but I am trying.

I think TV was rubbish tonight - except for Eastenders (love it and not afraid to admit this vice).

Off to bed now. Catch up tomorrow.

Katey xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Fliberty jibbet is one of my favourite words!!!  I may tyr to get it in the poem later!!!

Just off to my brothers no to see his little spogwho just screamsall the time... dreading in but I'll just stay half an hour and then make my excuses.

Lily -  they called yet?  sorry I know i'm early but off out in a bit!!

Yeah I need to take things easy.  Not good at that.... I can be a bit manic... I can eat well though and stop the booze etc.  

I love eastenders but have missed it all week...... Shaun makes me laugh, i saw a bit in the week where Ruby was crying and he was sitting next to her with the right ump... did make me chuckle!!  

My friend on the barts board got a BFP too....must be something in the water!!!

Anyway I better get on with myjobs!

XXX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Also - Lily did you just have sedation? or was it general?  sorry...I'm having a panic!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Laura - you beat me to it (I had sedation only, not GA).

Katey, Laura, Katey, Laura - where are you?!

All 4 have fertilised! As I write this, I have tears streaming down my face as this was the bit I was really petrified about! I cried as soon as the nurse told me and then wept in DH's arms. What a wimp eh? I know so many things can still go wrong, but I was so scared due to all the antibodies. I've to ring again tomorrow to make sure they're still ok and for grading, then ET on Monday. I suppose it's still possible none will divide? Or is that ultra pessimistic? Idon't know, just feeling immense, immense, IMMENSE relief at getting past stage 2, next stage = division, stage 4 ET (but after such a lovely EC I'm not worried about that now - can't believe I just wrote that!), then all the stages after that. But I have got over my BIGGEST stage, and for that I feel very very lucky. 

Hope you are both having a lovely weekend. I love you both soooo much! How's the poem going Laura? (Bet you've forgotten!).
Love Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Fanbloodytastic news!!!!!!!!  Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Great news and more to add to the poem!!  I'll be working on it this afternoon!!

XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

That is absolutely super duper sonic!! All 4!!! What did I say about quality!!!!! You must have produced 4 real corkers!!! A 100% fertilisation rate is amazing!!! Hurrah for Lily and Dh. To think your little embies have been so busy for you!!

I am so chuffed I think I may cry. What time do we know tomorrow? You are being pessimistic, they will divide!!!

You are not a wimp. I cried after every stage - especially et. It's a big deal!

Laura - I cannot wait to see how you get fliberty jibbet in! AND I hate Sean/Shaun he is such a w****r! Mind you, Ruby does my head in too.

Oh...so excited now.  You soon Laura!!!!

Off for a shower if I can stand still for 5 mins!!

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hmmmm.... Im starting to worry I've builtmy poem up and its not going to be very good!!!  

Lily and Katey - you ladies are like the most super fertile beings I know... Katey you all pregnant and Lily with your big fat eggs and 100% fertilitsation rate...and my mate on the Barts thread who is preg too..... I'm feeling like all the good luckis gonna run out before my go!!  Feelin really pessimistic... just the drugs i guess??

Also ladies a TMI question I had a short AF mon/tue and then stopped and yesterday we played 'hide the sausage  ' and I've started bleeding again straight after and now its stopped again.  Is that normal never had that before? Its stopped again now?

I am sure I have a cyst too feeling a bit stabby on one side and this will put back my stimms.  

Nothing I can do I know!!!  But so fustrating.  

Oh I wanna baby so blooming much.  

Come on girls I need some  !!!!!!!!!!

Me XXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh Laura, I'm so looking forward to your poem! Don't think your luck's not going to be as good. I may have been lucky with 4 eggs fertilised, but I've a heck of a long way to go yet. Plus, as we're giving each other support like we are, it should only help to be   . Katey and I are here for you every step of the way, to discuss any worries and niggles - it can only help! Plus the drugs will be making you feel even more pessimistic.

As for the game you played last night - maybe just helped clear the last bit out? Also, I was told irregular bleeding was possible whilst downregging. I often have found if AF is due, that after sex it comes on. If in doubt check it out. It's better to check it out now in the early stages than later on.

Hi Katey!
Love Lily.


----------



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

*Laurab - just read your last post honey and here's lots and lots of positive vibes for you hun*                                                                                          

*and some *                    

*Love and hugs and lots of luck
Tracy
xxx

PS  @ "hide the sausage"*


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey Laura

now now now...I want no pessimism (sp??) from you young lady!!! I cannot promise you that it will be first time IVF lucky but I do promise that you will be a mother some day soon.  There is an embryo or 2 in heaven with your name on and, when the time is right, they will be put just where they belong!! And, whatever happens, I will be here,and Lily too, for you whenever you need us - and I hope that you'll both be here for me too!!!!!

As for the sausage incident....I agree with Lily. if ever I wanted to get af i'd have a tactical sausage adventure. Plus shortly after af it can 'dislodge' any remnants so no panic!!!

Lily - you still on cloud 9?
I bet

Hi Tracy....that was some display of dust and luck! 

See ya, KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Sorry sorry sorry!!! I had a blip.... a 3 hour sleep and I'm feeling a bit better.... I've written my poem!

Tracy - wow thanks for all that baby dust!!  I can hardlybreath now!! LOL  Oh I love your dancing floater!!! He he!!

Lily ans Katey - you are stars and I know it really has nothing to do with who is getting preg around me... just comes down to my body... but my body is so bloody crap!!!!  Aghhh!!  Sorry little setback there!!

Anyway I'm sure you are waiting for my poem... tim said its crap... I think he don't know his poetry!!

Ha hem,,,,

The Fliberty Jibbets (sorry Katey only managed to get it in the title!!)

Our leader is Katey
The head of our crew
She introduced us to clipper brew

Lily is next with her big fat eggs
Amazed the dr managed to pull them from between her legs!

Then there is me
Cutting down on the after eights
Sure I can do it
With the help of my mates

We're all trying our best
To get babies in our nests
Lets hope next year
We're all wearing maternity gear!

Yay!!!! My Poem!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

I love your poem Laura - it's great! I was thinking about you this afternoon, whilst out in the garden and felt a tad guilty for being excited. I know how hard it is, as I've watched many a FF pal get good news, whilst I've cried until I've run out if tissues.

Here's my ODE TO LAURA

Oh lovely Laura our dear,
Don't fret - for 'tis not long now,
When you'll be seeing those follies and eggs,
And it'll be us saying WOW!

                   

Perhaps you'll have 4 or 20 or more,
But for now be excited,
You've nothing to fear,
And if you've any worries, KT and I are here.

                   

We'll be here for your scans,
Your hcg and EC,
For the fusion frenzy!
And of course your ET.

                   

So, lovely Laura - don't you worry!
You'll soon be feeling sick,
For Katey, Laura and I
Are aiming for a beautiful hatrick!

Love ya lots! Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Wow we should write a book!!!  Poems of IF!!

Oh please don't feel guilty for being excited!!!!!  I am truly over the moon for both of you and really want you to join KT with the BFP!!

I'm just worried I'm never gonna be a mum... thts nothing to do with you ladies though.  I guess I'm just feeling a bit down and need some reassurance... but I'm not silly I know the facts and my chacnes are not good.  There I go again!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to buy lots of healthy food etc that always makes me feel better about my IF jorney.  Sorry girls I'm crying again!!  Can't get away from it today.  I'm sad and I can't get out of that mind set today. 

Hopefully tue I can start the next phase and feel a bit better?

I really am so tired, we were going flick tonight but just changed mind and are gettin a DVD out.  

Please don't feel guilty though, I HONESTLY love being surrounded by you two ladies and love that thiings are going so well.  o be honest I used to go on the Ectopic Board and on there IVF board noone got preg and it was so depressing!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

The poems rock!!! I love them. Rang dh so that I could read them out and he said I needed to pull my finger out and write! But I have reflux and no urge to create this evening.

Lovely lovely laura you are justified in your feelings. I also remember that feeling when things went well for everyone around me and yet my body was just not playing the game. If I am honest I still feel really negative. You many think that i'm nuts and that I should be on top of the world but after losing so many pg I am in a place that fills me with fear. 

Like you I feel that it will never happen for me. So I get you, I really do.  You may have noticed that I do not post much about what week i'm in, symptoms etc and that is because I cannot get excited.

Long story short....if you want to cry and have a blip then I say go for it. It's healthy and real. I do it every day.

Just love you guys and I know that the 3 muskateers will keep going until it bloody well works - one for all.........

OK...more importantly, who is going out on X Factor

I say the MC D Bros.

Hugs, KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I know what you mean.. my friend who got preg just before she started IVF said she couldn't even look at the scan the first few scans she had as she knew she would fall in love and was so scared of being hurt.  She is 6 months now so I hope shes looked at the scan now!!

I have tried so hard to be positive, but so far everytime I have thought things were gong right I've had another set back.  I don't know if I should try to be positive or just neutral, damage limitation.  Also with me even if i do get preg I have a huge chance of it being ep again... even with IVF.

I think wwhat is different with this than any other thing I have had to deal with is the lack of control... with everything else, head down work hard and I can achieve anything, but this is different.  Nothing I can do will help and its all my own fault... all this because of some infection.I feel like I've let tim down, he so wants and baby too.

These drugs are not good for me!!! I've not felt this low for months and months.



Where is Dh Katey - you said you phoned him? Is he away?


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

The drugs play a part but mostly you are gearing yourself up because IVF crunch time is getting close. We all do it, you are not strange.

I got an infection years ago that damaged my tubes and I too had ectopics so I know what you are feeling but you cannot blame yourself - after hearing your story I was disgusted at how badly you were treated and none of that can be laid at your feet. You were both unlucky and shafted. Tim wants a baby, just like Robin does (he vetoed adoption until we gave IVF a chance and I was against IVF...I did it mostly for him, although a good outcome would be mind blowing but I was scared of failure and pain after losing so many pg that I wanted to run away from all treatment), and if they get one that's fantastic but if not then you and I cannot take all that on our shoulders.

Plus there are a million ways to skin a cat.

My Dr said to me at the consultation before ec that I was practically infertile and that we had a 15% chance of conceiving. Well, guess what, he was wrong. Nature has a funny way of getting around problems and, you will have to excuse me as I am religious, God will never let you down...one way or another.

Nothing I say will make you feel better but you are hearing it all from a confirmed lost cause and here I am hopefully still pg. And if next Friday it all goes tits up I will cry and cry but then I will get up and fight on because I must give it my best shot...and you will too.

Wish I could give you a hug and share a box of after 8's (although I am not allowed choc, i'd have  couple for you).

And yes, I have been abandoned by dh. He is training to be an osteopath (year 3 of 5 years) and he goes to college in London at w/e's. I hate it 'cause I get scared on my own. Such a wuss!

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh no all on your own every weekend For another 2 years??  Thats horrid!!

My head is just being naughty today,think I've been subconsciously been keeping so busy I don't ahve to think about things!!

Anyway.... food.... what shoudl I get tom at the shops?  I have some horrid prenatal vits, they are from an organic shop and I have to have 2 of them a day and they are huge and smell of seaweed??!  They must be good for me a!  Have to get more of them.. what vits do you take?

I need lots of protein now... any ideas? I'm veggie too but i do eat fish.Its 60 grams a day isn't it? 

I also only drink soya milk (ethical reasons only) should I swop to organic milk over the next few weeks you think?

I eat lots of organic fruit and veg anyway so I'll just keep that up.

Sultana loaf??!!

Anyway we are just gonna watch a dvd.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX


----------



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Katey, Laura and Lily

I have just realised that you have got from page 2 of this thread to page 17 with just the 3 of you! I wanted to say what a fantastic friendship you 3 have developed (been reading through the thread). You are such a support to each other and prove what we all know - Fertility Friends is a brilliant place for advice, support and friendship!

I am wishing all 3 of you only good things in your lives   

Love
Tracy
xxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Tracy...yes we have done well!!! Chatty little bunch!

Thank you for your lovely words - I wish the same for you too.

Laura - not every w/e but any w/e is bad as far as I am concerned...especially as tonight we have trick or treaters aged 14 upwards banging on the door every 10 minutes. 

I think you have a great diet!!! I know nothing about soya milk or fish amounts but I am guessing that the Zita West book will. Do you have it Know anyone who does

Lily - have you conked out after all the excitement Going walking tomorrow?

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

yes I have my Zita bible.  I shall have a nose through prior to going to the shops tom.  I also have a great book called the nutrician bible which my mate borrowed! Must get that back.

Pomegranete juice, olive oil, fruit and veg, maybe some nice fish?  Sorry just reminding myself what to get at the shops... oh washing powder!

Anyway I'm off to bed now, DVD was good, going to watch halloween in bed... will prob dose off.  Tim has to be up at 7am for  his bike stuff so I'll have the bed to myself in the morning!!

Lily??  You must be resting those sore ovaries... I'll check in to see how your doing tomorrow... sure your babies are doing well but eager to get into their snuggly womb!!

Tracey - yes we do waffle on don't we!!!  he he!!

Night all you lovely ladies. XXXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
No KT, not quite conked out - have been chilling out on the sofa with DH with his new dvd - The Pogues in concert. The musicians are fantastic, but I couldn't understand any of the words (which spoils the point really as they are poignant songs I am told). Anyway, it obviously lead me in to a wordy world of my own - hence poem two of the day. Think I'll have to start knitting, before I drive you both mad! (Just one more ok - then I'm looking forward to yours next!).

Thanks for the comments Tracy. We seem to have bonded well don't we, or as I would like to say in verse:
Without my new pals, time would have gone oh so slow,
But instead, Laura and KT, are helping me through my first IVF go!  

Laura, glad the dvd was good. I think you are suffering from the 'nearly at the stimming stage' blues. Not only are your hormones a mess, but there's no progress to be seen. Before you know it, time will be flying by and you'll be so proud of your follies! Not sure about the soya milk issue. I know that if you weren't having IVF it would be a good idea to switch as there's a compound in soya apparently called genistein that may affect the sperm before it reaches the egg. But as you're having IVF now it's not an issue and I'm not sure how much you'd have to drink/eat for it to be a problem anyway. Zita recommends vegetarians to make sure they have plenty of zinc and essential fatty acids, but as you eat fish that's ok. One thing though - I'm not sure how adventurous you are with your fish, but you may find the following article useful. It points out the low and high mercury fish. I was worried when I saw king mackerel was to be avoided but it says tinned is ok - phew! http://www.babycenter.com/expert/preconception/gettingpregnant/1403568.html
My personal recommendation is water and get nicely hydrated before and during stimming. We are made up of 70% water afterall. Enjoy the middle of the bed in the morning. 

One last poem before I wish you both goodnight 

ODE TO MY FEELINGS

So we are lucky and have been blessed....
Fertilisation has taken place.
I cried to hear our nuclei had fused,
And for today, I can wear a smile on my face.



"But will they grow", I ask DH,
"Of course", he says and strokes my hair.
I would love to be hopeful,
But don't know if I dare.



I know our babes are in the very best of hands,
But I wish I could help them along.
All I can do is drink, drink, drink,
And pray that nothing goes wrong.



One more call and then we'll know more,
And for ET, we can prepare to leave.
Oh please give me the chance to nurture you,
Please, please my little zygotes - cleave, cleave, cleave.

I think my brains missing the red wine! I'll try and stop thinking for both your sakes.

Goodnight sweethearts. One for all and all for one!

Love Lily. xx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Morning ladies,
Hope you've enjoyed your extra lie in.

KT - hope the pranksters didn't cause any trouble. Did you have lots of sweets ready for them - or were they after fivers? When's DH back? Bet he's good at massages!

Laura, Sunshine today and soon to be on stims. Yippee!

Off for a walk. Back later.

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Forgot to say KT -the reflux is good news! You probably know already, but when progesterone increases to relax the uterus in early pregnancy, it also relaxes the stomach and intestines, so you you can get a bit of acid build up. Good sign eh? (Unless you had a vindaloo last night!).

Lots of love, Lily.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Lily - great poem!  How dare you go out when we are all waiting for the next phone call to see how our embryo's are doing!!  Enjoy your walk!

Morning KT - what you up to today?  when is DH home?

I had a nice lay in and just watching some tv before I get on with my jobs!!

Anyway love to you both. XX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Laura,
Nice of you to say 'our' embryos, or did you miss the 'y' off? Went for a walk on the nursery, sowed some seed, now I'm back with some news for my pals:

3 x grade 1, all x 4 cells.
1 x grade 2, 5 cells (apparently growing too fast  ).

So I'm nervously happy for now! Next step ET tomorrow am. Oh thank you for letting me get this far.

Hope you are both well.

Off for a proper walk now and lunch. Back later later....

Love Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

No i meant to say our... I'm guessing due to the level of input we have had in their growth we all have a wee claim on their growth and development... we are all kinda cyber aunties!!

Wow 3 grade 1!!! fab!!  So transfer all going ahead for tom?  Do you have a choice of what day you can go for... is it better to wait longer if you have more to chose from?  Are you going to freeze the other grade one?

Where is that KT this morning??

XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I also worked out my due date today if EC goes ahead on time... 6th August.  How daft am i!!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay... where are you??

I just came home from a nice pub lunch/dinner and thought I'd check in on you two and you've disappeared!!

Hope you both out oing something nice?

XXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi lovelies!
Where's KT - WE MISS YOU!!!!

Glad you had a good trip to the pub, Laura. Us too. Had a bit of a walk afterwards. Got back and did some final housework before EC tomorrow. Then it'll be no lifting laundry baskets or hoovering for a few days.

You asked about the eggs. Well I'll see about freezing any tomorrow, depending what grade/cell number they are then. No, I didn't get a choice of EC day, but I'm happy with day 3. My clinic doesn't do them on Sundays. The embryologist/s and nurse/s obviously went in though.

By 10:10 the embies should be back with me! Already they have two wonderful aunties they don't even know about! Where's Auntie KT gone?? Please come back Katey!

Lots of love, Lily. xx Two days before Laura's scan. Yippee. When's your scan Katey?


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey girls!!!

I am here. Sorry that I have been MIA....my family came over for lunch and then I had to take them home and then I conked out for a while. Cream crackered!

Lily....yee hah!!! Our (yes our) embryos have done good!!!! 3 grade 1's all at 4 cell is fantastic. I am not sure about the growing too fast thing. My embryologist said that he liked 2 to 4 cells on day 2 and that sometimes fast growers were not ideal but I have read on here loads of people who had day 2 at 7 or 5 or whatever cells (odd numbers but heh) and they are pg. So, as with everything else there are no hard and fast rules. Tomorrow should give them a better idea and then they will be snuggled with mummy!!!!!!! It is an amazing moment when they are brought into the room and you feel like you are in the presence of God (cannot explain) and then in a flash they are in you and it is just magic...no other way to describe it really!

I am so excited for you. I'll say a prayer at 10am and then you best get back to us. Do you have far to travel

Laura - I read something about fish oils as well. Is organic ok I wonder Should be. What does Zita say You could always ring her clinic for advice!!! Did you get the pre-stims food shop done Oh so close for you now too!! You will be gald to leave down reg behind - it blows! Did you see any good movies today Doesn't halloween scare the pants off you

I am ok. Not having much of a symptomatic day today. I am hoping the reflux is down the the pg and not the progesterone supplements. Friday is so close now and the closer it gets the more terrified I become. What will I do if there is no heartbeat How do I handle that I must trust.

The Royle Family is on tonight. You guys watch that, (I bet you do Laura!!!)? Dh is on his way home. Will be here in a jiffy. I am so happy when he is back - and no he is NOT good at massages but he did learn some pelvic manipulations for pg women today and his lecture contained some interesting stuff about embryos. Did you know that touch is the first sense that the embryo gets and at about 7 weeks he/she begins to bond with the mother due to sensing her heartbeat??
Fantastic!

Catch you later

KT xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Soooooo glad you're back KT - Phew. I was so worried those pranksters had turned you into a pumpkin    
Don't watch so much tv - mainly the odd dvd and radio. So if you know of that Robert Winston programme starting (Against all Odds) do let me know won't ya?

I thought about the pessaries later today, during our walk and hope it's not them either. Keep thinking   about scan, it's important. My Little Book of Calm says don't worry about such important things until you a) have to or b) can do anything to prevent the situation. And you my dear KT are doing everything you possibly can, with the IVIg you've invested in, the clipper brew, careful diet (said NO to after eights!) - you're doing great my babies' lovely cyber auntie!

So your DH has to practise his pelvic manipulations eh? Have you decided to keep activity ( ) minimal for a while? Tell me to mind my own business if you like. I'm perhaps asking as DH keeps asking how long before we can again Men!  

Hi Laura! Love Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

No tim is watching the italian job so I am missing the royle family.  I am doing some cyber shopping!!  Just subscribed my dad gardeners world for his birthday!!  Bought some gina ford books for my sister in law for xmas and some planet earth/ global warming books for tim for xmas!!

I'm having a hot flush too!!

I really have been lazy this weekend,not done a thing, I've written my shopping list but not made it to the shops yet!!  I'm worrying about mt protein levels, 60gms is quite a lot!

Good luck tom lily with getting the wee ones back on board, I can't wait to get to that stage (fingers crossed!). All the prodding and poking about with done.. lovely!

KT your scan is friday?  It will fly by and I'm feeling good vibes that jnr will be ticking away nicely.  That will be a big hurdle and you will feel a little better then... not out of the woods but the field will be in sight!!

It is my birthday next week... big 30!  Tim has asked if I want another kitten for my birthday?  What do you think?  I said no.  Thought I have too much on and all the clearing up of kitten wee won't be good, but then I think of my little oscar all lonely and think maybe I'm being selfish?  I'd love a kitten just not sure this is the right time.  What do you think?

Xxxxxxxxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well...first things first....kitten or Oscar wee/poo is a big no no in pg so I would hold off for, mmm, let's say 10 months! 
But the big 30!!! That does deserve something a little special. 

As for the 'boudoir' ... my dr said 'NO'! So I have told dh that he may have to wait for a few months. The worst thing is that when you're not allowed you really want to (and usually I couldn't care less). So what with a ban on nookie and no baths and no choc, this pg thing has a real downside or 3!!!

Thanks for saying the scan will be fine. All I can do is hope and pray. 

The Royle family was just awful I cried and cried. Nana died. Not so much a comedy, more a shakespearian tragedy.

Not sure when Robert Winston is on but I will keep an eye out.

KT xxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Ok off to the land of by byes now. 

Laura - have a great, but relaxed Monday

Lily - will be thinking about you all tomorrow until we catch up. You will have a special cargo on board next time we chat!! Good luck and enjoy - it is a phenominal experience.

Hugs etc

Katey


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Waiting to hear!!!!!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Well we're back - all 4 of us! One's 8 cells and the other one is 7 cells, both looking nicely rounded and clear. It was amazing to see them on the screen. Was asked if we had a camera though as we could have taken such a clear photo, but we didn't know and didn't have one   Did you Katey? It feels weird and i might need a bit of help KT as I am unexpectedly feeling strange. I was expecting to feel on top of the world, so proud and excited. But instead I can't even explain how I feel - perhaps numb is right. Suddenly, noone wants to scan me anymore and it's all up to me. I think I'm worried I'm not going to manage it, that they were better off in their petri dish where they obviously enjoyed themselves. I was even scared to wee, then I was scared that holding it in was a bad idea too! I feel a bit  

Please promise one thing, when I start saying my symptoms, just tell me to shut up and that it's the cyclogest or AF coming as in my rational mind now, I know that nothing's gonna tell me until the pregnancy test.

Think I better lie low for a while.

Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily - your comments made me smile because you said just what I felt.  I remember pulling out of London on the train and thinking to myself, "well i'm on my own now" and I felt really alone and vulnerable. Like there were 100 people all flitting around me and the eggs/embryos until now and suddenly it's down to me. Yes I do understand. You get over that initial numbness and fear and it turns into a daily are they/ aren't they debate. 

What happened with the other 2

I did not get a pic and i'm not sure I would have been allowed. They dimmed the lights and it was a quick 'here they are' moment and then they were whipped back into the incubator until my consultant was ready. 

All you can do now is wait and hope. Look after yourself and relax. 
As for symptoms....I am not sure what I think. There were times this cycle when I said to dh that I was sure I was pg...I just knew (and 6 previous pg had given me a bit of insight). But the cynic in me assured my brain that I was mad. The last cycle I knew that I wasn't but there was a bit of me that hoped. I think that, if you have it, intuitionplays a big part. But you will be up and down like a yoyo before the test date.

When is that?

I'll be here.

Laura....hello chicky pie how's you today? Baseline vvvvvvvv soon!!!!!

Feet up Lily....this is the moment it has been all about. 

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls... just a quickie as i'm still working... groan!

Lily - I'm thinking twin with those multiplying cells!!

KT - I know you wouldn't swop your little nuget for all the nooky in the world!!  I can't wait I'm always knacked and am looking for an excuse to give it up for a bit!!

Well I have been sniffing and shock horror this morning I noticed hardly any way coming out so i opened the new bottle and really noticed the difference... I don't think I've been sniffing as much as I should oer the last about 4 days??  Think I should do some extra sniffing today??  Really nervous about tom.. I know nothing I can do and worse thing is I get put back a week.

I went to the health food shop and bought lots of healthy stuff!!  Lots of protein for growing my eggs!!  I hope!

Anyway off home now.. catch yo uladies later!

XXXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT and Laura,
Lovely to hear from you. I did as you told me to KT, put my feet up and DH and I lay on the sofa and watched a dvd. He bought me flowers (nurse said it was obligatory for the next 2 weeks) - orange of course as I told him about it's positive effect. Now he's cooking supper - not sure how long this is going to last, but for now it's lovely.... I still can't get my head around the two bundles of circles. I shall chat to them later and tell them all about their special cyber aunties!

No, Laura, I don't think you should take extra. Wait and see what happens tomorrow and maybe you'll have done enough anyway. Really good luck. Can't wait for your stimming results.

KT- wrt to the other 2, we decided to freeze the other 7 cell as the embryologist told us it was a lovely looker. However, the 4th didn't really look so good - like it had flu and sneezed everywhere! How are you doing?

DH is calling, better go. Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - no do not take more. It will be ok. Don't panic!!! When are you going to get home You need your rest!

Lily - time to change that ticker!!!

I'm good. Not sure if I have had nausea today. I didn't feel 'right' but it wasn't that bad and I was still able to trough! Just an offish sensation. I want ms like you wouldn't believe so I am willing it on....that could be my problem!

Off to trough some more....KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay girls, I'm home now! 

Had my dinner too.  I know silly idea about sniffing more... I'm such a dope I should have checked enough was coming out!

My appointment is at 10.20am and I will try o post from work to update you both.  But its difficult at work I'm in a large open plan office!!

I'm just having a nice cup of clipper tea and then going to have a bath and have a wee trim up in preparation for tomorrow! 

Lily my lovely - your on the 2ww!!  Thats an accomplishment!  Well done you... how are you planning to while away the days?  Whats your test date?  2 weeks today?  X

KT - oh sick is good... its very early on remember... your hormones and all the sicky stuff often comes a bit later... you 5.5 weeks now?  Oh thats dead exciting!!  

XX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Evenin'

KT - Order carried out captain! More news of feeling icky please! Bravo  

Laura - Welcome home. What ya gonna have for your birthday then as I'm with KT on that one?

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

nice ticker Lily!!

Well I would like for my birthday... a baby!!  or a house with a garden!  So not likely to get those!  We were planning on going away for the week but due to my cancellation IVF we are not doing that.  I really don't care to be honest.. once we have my scna dates (if I start stimming) tomorrow we may plan to go away for a night or two.. but is difficult to do much really.

My friend is going to take me to a safari park one day!!  He he!! More like a 3rd than a 30th birthday!!

To be honest I just want to forget it, Tim is panicing as he hasn't got me anything yet but I said maybe we can go away in the new year for some sun... we have had a really crap year and not had a holiday.

Off or me bath now! XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey chickadees

I'm off to bed because I have to drive to Milton Keynes tomorrow and I can barely stay awake over breakfast (also a good sign that I hope is not just in my head). The icky feeling has stayed with me all day but I would rate it as 2/10 so not that bad. In fact, I am 6 weeks tomorrow!!! Oh such a ripe old pg age!!!!

Lily...I hope your feet are elevated!!! Althoough my embryologist said to do a little trotting around to get the blood flowing to the uterus - but not too much!!!

Laura - Please try and post if you can - but not at the expense of getting caught out. I may not be able to reply (in MK remember) but I will log on as soon as I am able. In fact, I will send you my mobile number via your email address so you can text me. Is that ok We should have done that with you Lily too.

Good luck with the scan Laura. REST lily.

Hugs to you both (+ Lily's 2 poppets and my c shaped cutie pie)

Katey xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Laura - how did you get on then - is it stimming from tonight? Oh I do hope so.

Take care in MK, KT. I like the ticker - now that one is special! Plus yippee - KT's feeling icky and so sleepy!

About the legs up, KT: I was told not to raise them as it can increase EP? I've been lying down, sitting, and walking round outside. Not quite sure what to do for the best. By the way, I told the babes about their cyber aunties this am in bed; felt strange but never mind - I'll do anything that might help.

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hope you're not late home Laura - I am trying to wait patiently!

Just to let you both know, that Robert Winston programme I mentioned (A child Against all Odds) is on 14 Nov at 9pm (thanks to 'Victoria' for that piece of imp info).

Back later. Love Lily. Busy drinking water.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey you 2

Laura - wher the dickens are you No text, no mail.....come back!!!

Lily - what is EP. I know PE but not EP!!! By up I mean off the floor in a lazy devil may care way whilst watching old movies and eating protein snacks. How you feeling today?

I have been in MK until now and we have sold our car as part of a cost cutting regime!!! Now minus 4 wheels and that is pants! Must get another soon.

Off for a clipper.

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm home!!!!

Sorry I did not pick up your last mail last night, tim hogged the pc after my bath!  The email I gave you both was for MSN not my actual email account!  Sorry!  You both have my mbile number anyway.. sure I pm'ed it to you both.

Well.....  I'm growing my baby!!  Had first injection after my scan this am, start them at home tom evening.

No cysts, lining was 2.5 which is good and my ovaries both quiet! To be honest I've never heard a peek from them anyway!! LOL!

But yes all go from here!

So chuffed had reallyconvinced myself somethin would be wrong!  Yeah I'm stimming!!

KT  - love the ticker!! I so want one of those too!!  And Lily!!

Lily - Hows you diddling? resting up? XX

I love this spooky new FF website!!  Hope noone knocks tonight.. I only have a few after eights in and I don't wanna share!!

Anyway I just got in ... have washing to put in.. dinner to cook!  back later! 

Oh I'm so happy!!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Fab news! You are well on the way now!!! Was the injection ok

I found your 'fs' email address on your profile...is that not right Your mobile seems to be 1 digit short. I have been dying to text you all day to find out!!! How nosey am I??!!!

I have put up a 'sod off all trick & treaters' sign...is that really scrooge like?? I'm just too tired to be bothered with that bull now.

Still have not had my Clipper

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Yippee Laura - Laura's growing her babies. Now drink loads eh and rest as much as poss. This time'll fly by - can't wait until your scan to see how you're doing. When is it?

KT - Your poster made me laugh! We're lucky 'cos we live in the back of beyond and noone would dare walk down our road late at night, especially on halloween   As for EP - I thought it stood for ectopic pregnancy and I thought I got it from reading one of your earlier posts?  

I'm ok. I've sat, walked, lied down and read, walked a bit more, sat and lied down again, snuggled on the sofa under the duvet to keep warm. Went outside for a bit with all my winter clothes on and felt released when I took them all off. DH wouldn't let me out until I'd wrapped up!!

Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily - Ectopic Pregnancy....yes. I was going with pulmonary embolism as we were discussing legs etc. Sorry, mad hormonal head.

Didn't know that fact....put your legs down!!! 

I have had my 1st food aversion - minestrone soup.....not happening. If there is no heartbeat on Friday then I will assume that I have gone mad!!

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh KT - that is good food aversions!!  This is going well if I do say so myself!

Lily- isn't DH a love.. looking after you and keeping you warm! Bless him!

My injection was absolutely fine I honestly didn't feel it a few minute after it was a bit stingy but amazed how fine it was... now when Tim does it tomorrow... that may be a different story!!  I'll let you know!

Now.. next worry.. no follies!  

My next scan is Monday.  I have Monday and Tuesday off work, then working wed-fri but have nothing booked in but some staff supervisions.. so nice and easy, will try to finsh early and on the wed and fri I have to go hosp in the morning so won't be full days, I've then provisionally booked the whole of the following week off, my EC should be the monday, I may book the following mon and tue off as study leave as I have course work to get in on the 27th Nov. So I will have a week off... the week I'm back I've booked some coshy reviews which means I won't have to go to the office much.  Sorry that was a bit of a waffle!

Long and short of it.. I've got some time off work coming up!! yay!

We live in flats so noone can get up to our front door - security system - so we are safe from the trick or treaters!  KT have you really put that poster up!!  He he!! Round here people would stick a brick through your window with that up!!

Lily  - where do you live?  It sounds lovely?  Out in the middle of nowhere!! 

XXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey Katey, before it's too late: did you know about the British Library's website that is asking for people to blog about our experiences on 17 October 2006. It's to promote history and they want any details that people in say 2207 will find interesting, such as drinking clipper tea. I thought you might want to go down in history with your BFP being confirmed that morning. Here's the link http://www.historymatters.org.uk/output/page96.asp They want 100-600 words and the closing day is midnight tonight. Paul Mason has done a very indepth blog about his day, although too many words for the British Library http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/newsnight/2006/10/my_one_day_in_history_06000800.html

Also, KT can you tell me if you ever thought AF was coming? I only had ET yesterday, but tonight feel like it already with dull ache and dampness. I know I said I wouldn't talk about preg symptoms but this is quite the opposite. Fantastic news about the soup - yeehaa!

Laura love, Glad you've got your work/time off organised next couple of weeks. Here's to lots of follies filled to bursting with big fat eggs 

Love Lily. xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.UK or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay girls

I'm off to bed, shattered, was up all night worrying about my scan, so off for an early night.

Take care of yourselves and will catch up tom.

XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Morning girls!

I missed your mail Lily so I did not get to record my bfp! Sad now. Oh well. 

As far as af.....I still feel like she is about to hit. Aches, pains etc. You have had a lot of uterine intervention recently what with ec and et so do not panic...it is normal for your ovaries to take a while to recover and the same goes for your cervix and uterus. Really, do not take any notice. 

It would be very unlikely that these pains are related to my 2 nieces/nephews. They should start to bed in 4-8 days after et (6-10 days after ec) roughly speaking. It is possibly during this and after that symptoms may start but we just never know. Everyone I have spoken to that had a 'regular' non treatment pg said that they were not sure until after af was due so we are just hyper sensitive.

You'll feel every twinge in the book now. BUT only the test will put your mind at ease. What I will say is enjoy this 2 ww as you know that they are there now and you are mummy lily! After Friday I may be told that mine has no heartbeat so I am relishing the time I have until then. It's a mind set.

Laura - how you doing stimming girl? Growing nice follies I hope!

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT-thanks for that. Sorry for making you sad - however, I've just checked the history matters site and you can still click on write your diary. Hope you have time?   

Hi Laura!   

Love Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello Girls,

Not noticed anything yet.. only had the one shot.  What drugs where you girls on?  I'm on 225mg Purogen.  I'm just wondering if thats low or high.. so I can prepare myself for my scan on monday (I won't feel so bad if not got too many follies if dose is low).

Tim is doing my next injection at 10pm.  He is looking forward to it!!  

Anyway I'm gonna try to get on with some college work now.

I'm watching child of our time too!
XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi again... Where are you two??

Another question.. I'm trying to work out my test day so I can make sure I'm off work.  Is it 2 weeks from EC or ET?

So what are you two up to?

KT - anymore food aversions?  Feeling icky still!!  Not long til scan day!  You just going down to London on the frday or you staying over?  Or you having your scan loacl?  You got to have that blood thing done again?

Lily - how you feeling?  Hope DH is looking after you. 

I'm feeling so positive today!  I can't imagine it not working, how can it not?  An embryo is put into my belly why would I not get preg??  But I know its not that simple. And I have to be realistic.  I'm so so so so so worried I'm gonna not be pregnant and then I KNOW i will be depressed, I've been there before and I'm so scared of getting there again.  Or even worse, I get preg and then is ectopic, I don't think I could cope with all that again... Hmmm... not feeling so positive now!! LOL! I don't know how to act.. be positive and risk a huge disappointment?  Or keep trying to drag myself down with the facts?

XXXXXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

101 ways to take yourself from ecstasy to agony!!! That was quite a rollercoaster you took yourself on Laura!!

Just believe that it will work because up until now there's no reason to suspect it won't!! Go on....believe!

I was on up to 600 of puregon but usually 450 and 250 of merional. I was on the max dose as I respond soooooooo badly. That said, I was on a slightly lower dose the 1st time and got the same egg result so who knows??

Thanks for your text! Sorry did not reply but dh was locked on battle with NTL and it took me all my time to calm him down.

Lily - How are you this cold cold evening Feeling positive

Yes my scan is 2 sleeps away and I flit between mass negativity and assurd positivity. Do nbot want Friday to come but I really wish it was over.....if only indecision was a symptom!!
I will go to London for about 1pm and then get back home. I'll either be crying, or crying!!

I do feel a bit icky tonight. DH was playing tennis so dinner was after 8 so I got peckish and had some midget gems (quite a few) and then after 4 mouthfuls of dinner I felt so full I thought I would be sick and couldn't touch another bite. But that is not real sickness is it?? So not sure what I think.

Off to finish watching the TV awards

KT


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I know I'm mad!  Sorry about that rant!

Yes positive will be fine.

We just did our first injection... was very funny I kept getting up and running away!  Told tim to be gentle and he kept pulling his arm right up like he was harpooning a whale!!  All done with now though and it didnt hurt really!  I'm quite brave!  I even got a after eight after... its just like going to the dentist when your a kiddie!!

Can't believe how fast things are flying by.. can't believe its your scan... WHICH WILL BE FINE is in 36 hours ish!!! You have all the sympoms and no bleeding! It is going to be wonderful.. I know it! (i'm psychic you know!)

Lily - where are you?  What you up to??

Also am I allowed to do naughty things?  Noone has told me not to?  But Lily was told not to?  Hmmm!

Anyway, I'm just drinking my hot milk and having my brazil nuts followed by my vitamins... god what a life a!!

Also another question... sorry full of them tonight!  Evening primrose oil?  I take it every day... should I stop now?

Ok talk later. XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Have to be honest...know nothing about evening primrose. Doesn't it balance your hormones (which we don't want right now)  I would ask your clinic. As for rumpy pumpy...no-one said anything to me either but I would avoid soon as your are producing a million eggs and should one escape...............

I'm sure it's ok at this stage but ask to be sure...promise

I hope your psychic ability is real!!

KT

ps where is Lily? Maybe in bye byes now. Night Lily!!
xxx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi girls. Sorry I haven't been around much tonight. Felt a bit weird and spent the evening curled up with dh. For two people that don't normally watch tv, we just did a marathon: nature progs (did you see those baby elephants dying  ), to a dvd (Monsoon wedding - em interesting!) to Newsnight.

KT - I'm praying for Friday, but I reckon you won't need it. Me and Laura will be having kittens again until you get home....

Laura, I can't see naughty things are a problem this early. Enjoy.   It's the only thing I miss right now.

I think the pessaries are kicking in now, as I could only eat a few mouthfuls of my tea too. The prog must be slowing the GIT down already and getting me full quick. Wish it was later on and I could consider it a symptom. Hopefully your sickness is a good sign KT - you are further on - yippee!

Love and goodnights, Lily. xx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey, where are you both tonight?

Hope you're both ok. Hope Tim doesn't tease you much tonight Laura with the injection.

As for you KT, all I can say has been inspired from Frank Sinatra's hit single of 1959:

_"We've got HIGH hopes, we've got HIGH hopes,
We've got HIGH apple pie, in the sky hopes"_

Please get in touch asap tomorrow won't you? How are you feeling tonight?

Lots of love, Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey

Love the song but sadly I am not feeling inspired tonight. Maybe it is the fear of tomorrow but I am on a real negative downer tonight. No symptoms at all even (.)(.)'s are feelingless. So convinced it's all over.

Will let you know when I get back from London.

How are you fairing today Lily Feeling any different?

Laura - tell Tim harpooning is not allowed!!! I would have given anything to be a fly on the wall when you were running around the room away from the needle!!!

Catch you later

Katey

ps please forgive my miserableness.....promise I will be good soon. KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay girls.

Just done a marathon day at work.. just got home and am shattered!!  Not back in the office now until Wednesday!! Yay!  Although I am at work tom but n visits and reviews all day so not as stresful as in the office.

Big day tomorrow KT - What time is your scan?  Text if you can, I'll be wanting to know... but obvisouly you need to deal with all your emotions first.  I honestly think all the signs are there but none of us will know until tomorrow.  Giant hugs and snuggles!  I really think it will be wonderful... but I totally understand your worries.  XXX

Lily - How are you feeling now?  To be hnest I've been so clingy with tim lately, just wanting to be with him and be cuddled.  Enjoy your relaxing time together. XX

XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I'll text...if I can!

(and get as many cuddles as you can!!!)


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I will do!  Although he is out this evening! 

Its cold isn't it? Brrrrrr!!

Good luck tom, you can't change anything, so relax and enjoy your time with jnr...  I'm sure tom you will be all smiles with your little piccy!  Let me know if you can. XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Thanks. Never been so scared. Not like me at all.

Fingers crossed...and yes, it is cold!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm very lucky... tim has just walked in and bought me a nice new hat and scarf!  Wearing it watching tv.

Of course your scared... but there is nothing to say anything will be wrong.  This time tom you'll be worrying about your 12 week scan!  xxx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

ah...Tom is sweet!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

He's a messy sod though!!  But yeah he is pretty sweet to be honest... has lots of faults but he does love me and makes me feel special.  I'm a lucky girl!


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Sorry all soppy.. must be the hormones!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

at you Laura watching tv with your new hat and scarf on  

It's really understandable KT that you're so worried as the symptoms of pregnancy are still so few this early on, plus it's so important to you, plus it's a protective behaviour too. I really do have high hopes for you!    

Nothing to report from me - an odd twinge early evening (probably bowels), pains under my ribs if I bend and breath in (I keep trying it to see if it's still there   and it is) - not sure what that is - hardly the uterus getting too big eh!?   Have eaten as much raw stuff as poss to keep constipation away (salad for lunch with raw onion, carrot, leeks plus the norm and chick peas for good measure).

When were you told to test KT? I'm confused - I've been told 16 days post ET, whereas another girl who had same 3 day transfer, same day but at different clinic has been told 11 days post ET. When could I really test? DH is being patient, but it won't last 13 more days!

Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

We tested 12 days after et - but it was a blood test so accurate. Do you have a private hospital nearby that can do that for you or does your clinic offer it. It's better because if you are you get to see what your HCG levels are doing.

Alternatively I think a good rule of thumb for hpt's is 14 days after et.

I got a bfp on an hpt at 12 days post et and my beta hcg was 93...but it depends on implantation.

Has that helped or confused?

K


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

KT - you tested early and didn't tell us!!!!!!!?

Lily - hello honey!  maybe the pain is wind?  Drink some peppermint tea!

I'm off to bed shattered (again!!).

I'll be over the moon tom... 4 days off work! Yay!

Night... looking forward to hearing some good news tom KT.
XXXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

No I tested on the way to the test because I wanted to tell DH if a bfp, not a DR.

Once it was confirmed I forgot to tell you....sorry!

Night night!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

GOOD LUCK KT - WILL BE THINKING OF YA ALL DAY!    

Lots of love Lily. xx


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Looking forward to hearing from you Katey  . Hi Laura  .

I feel like AF is on its way   DH is having nothing of it and just keeps telling me to be patient  

Love and hugs, Lily xx. Will be back later.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Lily

KT texted me earlier.  I should let her tell you the news... would hate to tread on her toes.  I'm not going to give you any hints either about how it went..

             

You'll just have to wait til she posts  

Laura XXX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there you 2!

Well, Laura already knows because I have harrassed her by text all day (sorry Laura) but Lily.....got a heartbeat!!! I went in convinced that there would be nothing and then there it was, beating so quickly!! Dh noticed it before any of us as it has attached right up against the wall top right (or top left if looking at the screen). So for a horrid moment we could not see anything!!! In fact, I hardly saw anything because I had the dildo machine inserted and I could not lean forward! Gutted!! We got a pic but the baby is so small you can hardly tell it from the uterine wall.

Lily - as for af coming....it would be, I think, too early even for af so please please do not panic. It is a sad fact that bfp's and bfn's are pretty much indistinguishable upto test day (although I had an inkling by about day 10). So do not fret my sweet...it is just your body's way of saying, "Errr, I have been injected, probed, de-egged and had embryos transferred and I am a bit narked that this has been going on!!!! Sort it out!!".

I have af pains right this moment - front and back - and have had all the way through on and off. So maybe it's a good sign for you!!

Laura - how was the meeting Did I get you into strife Hope not. Sorry for my text extravaganza...it was nerves!
How do you feel today?? Any more twinges

I'm off for a well deserved Clipper!

Hugs.....Katey
ps - Laura I see you posted. No hints eh!!!!!


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Fantastic! Really really good news!! You must be over the moon. Now I'm going to pm you both my mobile no straight away for emergencies like this as I've been sooooo fretting all day and couldn't get hold of you! I told you I had high hopes Katey!

           

Love Lily.


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

That would be good...I really wanted to text you as it takes forever and a day to get home from London and onto this machine.

Katey


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh you've got me all emotional now     a) 'cos I've done nothing all day but worry and couldn't concentrate on my (winter) spring sort out and b) I'm so relieved and excited for you. What about the IVIg - do you have to have another lot? When's the next scan?

How's the stimming Laura?

Love Lily.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay girls,

Sorry Katey you could have passed your moby to lily yourself - I did not see you had posted when I texted!

Anyway - Yeee Haaaa!!  I had pretty high hopes myself Lily but it is so hard as the truth is none of knew what KT would find.  But with the soup aversion I thought it would be ok.. thats a huge hurdle Katey... once there is a heart beat thats pretty much an established pregnancy... even when people mc at 7-8 weeks, normally the baby has died before then.  So yeee haaaa again!!

As for the txting was fine... I made my excuses to make a 'work' call during the meeting so I could check my mobile.... was worried when you said was just waiting to go in and then an hour passed!! Phew! 

Lily - I agree i think its too early to notice anythong yet.

Me - well I have af type pains all day?  Not bad just achey.  I'm also constipated (sorry TMI) so been to tehe shops and bought some organic prune juice and some figs and pmegranate juice etc!!  I'm pretty happy at the moment as I have 4 days off work now.  Starting to feel nervous about Monday already.. say ther are no eggs??  I know nothing I can do!

Talk later XX


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

girls - pleas read my last post on the barts thread - having a real panic. XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura are you there?


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

You.......

OK I too took puregon and there was always a load left over at the end. That's normal. So long as you were turned to the right number and pressed until you got to 0 then it was ok. Now you have taken another dose!!!!!!

So...does your clinic operate on Saturdays

If so, call them and explain what happened and they will advise you. It is not catastrophic as I was on 600/day  sometimes but they should record your extra dose.

Text me if you are still anxious.

KT


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Sorry Lily.. forgot to reply to you in my Laura panic!!

I am having another scan on Monday to check for the heart again and, if it is still there, then I am having ivig that afternoon.

Sorry that you got worried (although emotional is a good sign!!!!). That won't happen again now that we can text (so you can let us know your results and Laura can too as soon as you know them!!).

OK - Off to remove my war paint. Laura I am on mobile for at least another 1/2 hr if you are in a blind panic.

KT xxx (and Pip)


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh god so there i always stuff left in the cartridge  Oh god I'm so stupid.

I've overdosed.

There was about half still left in the cartridge??

Oh no!!

Phone is dead and charger is in the car.

You still there?

Oh god what have I done I'm in a huge panic.


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh no the hospital are gonna go mad!  I all a tizz and don't know what to do.  How much used to be left in the cartridge?


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Do not be in a tizz! Call the clinic and explain. There is a fair amount left in the bottom. It really hacked me off because the stuff is so expensive and it was a waste! 

You won't be the first to do this so do not panic. Just let me know you are ok.

Hi Lily!!

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh Laura love - have you rung the clinic? As KT said it's not ideal, but not resolvable. I wasn't on same as you, but there was always a generous measure in the bottle. I got worried too, as thought I'd done it wrong. You must speak to the clinic though.

Looking forward to your text on Monday KT...

I've woken up feeling neither +ve nor -ve. Had weird dreams in night. No implantation bleeding though and not much cramping yet, just same pains under ribs from 4pm to 8pm, same as day before, worse when breathing in or bending?

Write soon Laura and let us know what clinic have said.
Love Lily. xx


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

Have you tried peppermint tea for that pain in case it is trapped wind

KT


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks for that KT! Although I'm on the pessaries, I'm not at all constipated  , it got better after having a lie down and drinking more water. I've just worked out I'm drinking 4 litres a day. The pain's really high up and right on the left and right sides of my ribs, not in the middle at all. It's like I'm just getting a bit weary and ready to sit down anyway, then it happens and doesn't improve till I rest.

Did you have any implantation bleeding KT? I'm 8dp EC and 5 dp ET, so I would have had some by now, if I was going to get some right? It would have helped. All DH keeps saying is be patient!

Where's that Laura, hope she's not burying her head under the duvet covers!  

Love Lily. xx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

I'm so stressed out, daft how a little error in most things I can take in my stride and yet with this I'm a mess, been crying and everything.  Tim has had a go at me for 'letting all this take over my life' and that i need to 'chill'.  Yeah ok Tim, I'm just relax!!!  How do you make yourself bloody relax 

Barts not called back.

So I'm gonna save whats in my cartridge and take it on Monday, wil start a new one and carry on as usual.  I don't think I can be injecting properly on the other days as it stings a little last night and when the nurse did it.. on the other nights it didn't.  So I think I've missed 2 nights of stimming.  

Anyway - 

Lily - after my op in Jan I had wind and I was told to lay on my back with knees bent to make you back really straight and if that didn't help move your hips up and down... it was from a physio hand out.  Also peppermint tea too.  And not everyone has implantation bleeding, my sis didn't with either of hers but I did with my ep?  You will know soon my dear. XX

Katey - bet you slept well last night a?  Your back on Monday too.  Cool.  Are you feeling abit more pregnant now its more real??  

Anyway Tim has told me to go to the gym for a swim to try to 'chill'!!

XX


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey

Well, what a day! I went to the loo at 2 ish and there was a small blob of brown. Freaked out. Wiped again and saw a little more. Burst into floods of tears and went to bed. Nothing since. I am hoping it's trauma from the probe yesterday as I have spotted in the past after a t.v. scan so I am hoping but it has taken me to a whole new level of fear. So no sleep tonight!

Glad everything got sorted Laura. Don't pay any heed to Tim...men don't always understand what these drugs do to our nervous system and they can get a little jealous when your attentions aren't on them 100%. It's tough for you right now because hormonally you are in a bad place and that will make you stressed and crotchety. Hang in there honey...it is worth it all.

Lily - In fact I got spotting 4-5 days after et last time and a bfn. This time nothing (until today - boo hoo) and I got a bfp so I wouldn't place too much importance on it. If I had my way I would never want to see blood even if it is implantation as it unsettles me.

I'm off to see some firworks now and hope there is no more brown.

Catch you later!

KT xxx


----------



## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Girls -

Wow what a rollacoaster day for us all!

Feeling a bit calmer now... me and tim had our little firework party   as suggested - Thanks KT.  Although now I have a dull ache in my belly alot like when I have a cyst on my ovary so think it may be a follie!!  Worried now we shouldn't have done it?  I will ask on Monday.

KT - I too sometime bleed a little after a scan and the blood was brown so sure its nothing. XX

My friend is coming over and we are off to a firework party... I'm driving of course... groan! This better bloody work or I'm gonna be so peeved off!!  

Lily - hows you pains? 

I prob won't b back til tom as friend staying over and a bit rude to get the laptop out!! LOL!

So catch you ladies tom. XXX


----------



## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT - You poor thing! However, brown is not bad news as I'm sure you know. Clinics always say that it's only if it's red and a lot that it needs worrying about. Hope you had a good rest, but like you say, they have probed about in you yesterday. For your own mind's sake, it's good you're back on Monday, although I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. I can only imagine how freaked out you were, but you did see a lovely strong heartbeat only a few hours ago.  

I'm a bit fed up with all this waiting. I find that in the morning I start off feeling fairly normal, then by evening my boobs are heavy and sore and I've AF pains. Keep having weird aches, not exactly in front or back just low and in middle? Can't believe my ticker isn't going faster. Oh well, I suppose I should enjoy being PUPO for a while longer. 

Love Lily.
PS If this 2ww isn't making me mad, it is DH. I was trying to talk to him about how many cells they would be today. His response, "Just sit back and watch the rugby". Oh yeah sure!


----------



## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I am happy to report that there has been no brown or other since 2pm so I am praying that it was probe trauma.

I am having such af pains though - have throughout - and although it is normal I get so fearful.

Lily - you will drive yourself nuts I can promise that and it gets 30000000000 times worse in week 2!!! Sorry that's not what you want to hear but I know you know this already!

Laura - glad you enjoyed your 'display'. Best lay off fireworks soon in case. Good to check with clinic.

We have people over so I am having a hard time getting on to the comp. so i'll catch up tomorrow pm after the folks go home.

Hugs etc

Katey


----------



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

New home for you lovely ladies this way........

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=73141.0


----------

