# surrogate looking for some advice



## mum_of_two (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi All,

I'm a mum of two fantastic kids (little monkeys ) myself and my DH have agreed that our family is complete. 

I have decided to become a surrogate, a host surrogate   but possibly straight for the right couple. 
I have a couple of questions for IP's and surrogates out there;

I live in the west of Scotland and would like to know what agency is best suited for a Scottish surrogate? 
I would like the IP's to be their every step of the way and experience everything with me. is this the norm?
What is involved in the parental order? is it a court hearing or an informal hearing? 

I have all the paperwork for both SUK and COTS (I'm in the process of completing.) but is there another which I should be looking into.
Apologies for the many questions, Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks


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## scottsmrs (Apr 30, 2013)

Hi I'm an IM, our friend is our surrogate.  I think surrogacy in Scotland is slightly different from the rest of the UK.  I have no advice for you, I just wanted to say what a wonderful thing it is you and your hubby are doing.
Take care
Marie


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## mum_of_two (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi Marie,
thank you for taking the time to respond, I wish you all the very best for the future. 
I hope i can help to complete a couples family in the future.
L x


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi L,
I saw you joined the SUK message board so just wanted to say Hi.
We had our daughter through SUK nearly 7 years ago so I am obviously waving the flag for them. I know there are several surrogates and couples in Scotland and they would be able to give you advice on how things differ up there. As far as I know it's only the P.O process that is different.
SUK really works on the principle of friendship first so a couple is very likely to want to be as involved as much as  possible and practical.
We went to both our surrogates scans and all her midwife visits and were obviosly there when our daughter was born.
We are still in touch with our surrogate and although we don't see that much of her our daughter knows who she is and what she did for us.
hope this helps and I will say Hi on SUK too.
Love 
EJJB
x


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## Janey waney (Sep 3, 2013)

Hi Hun I'm not in Scotland but I am a surrogate but I'm independent iv been with both of those agency's and I'd say that suk is better I recommended them to a friend who was just starting out altho I don't think u can beat goin it alone and it's a lot cheaper for the Ips.but if u think u wud feel safer with an agency for support ext then suk is for u .
When uv had the baby a person usually a woman comes from caffcas to do the parental order  it's pretty simple as the Ips do most of that I just read thru it and make sure they have all the correct details and sign it 
When u registar the baby u are on the birth certifificate as the birth mother and the if as the father but if ur marrid sumtimes they say ur husband must go down as the father wich is wrong and ov always got round that if u have any more questions feel free to ask me. I won't say I know everything but iv been involved I. Surrogacy for 17 years.and it's the best thing iv ever done gd for u Hun.xxx


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## TeamD (Sep 11, 2011)

Hi L,
I am an IM and have been on this journey for a while. I have had both the experience of a close relationship and a very disconnected one. It's such a tough journey and I much preferred the closer relationship with our surrogate, it just felt right to be working as a team. It can of course bring a little more pressure during the tough times, for instance, our surrogate miscarried at 9 weeks and that time was hard, lots of tears and when you build that relationship it's so hard seeing the other one upset, urgh it was tough  but on the brighter side, sharing the build up and experience is wonderful when there is trust. I cannot imagine how wonderful it would have felt becoming a mother using our wonderful surrogate, I would have loved it to have worked  Such a unique experience, relationship and bond and I have a humongous amount of respect for her and any other surrogates.
I'm afraid I don't know about Scottish surrogacy law sorry.
We had a small agency who I think have now closed but their support was very valuable. We hope to find a GS if our cycle in November is successful and we will definitely seek support from one of the agencies as their advice etc lifts some of the pressure.
Best of luck with your journey, you are truly wonderful!
TeamD xx


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## surrogate013 (Jul 18, 2013)

Not all that sure on the technical side but i am doing it independently and my IPs are my husband's cousins. It's great having a really close relationship and we have a lot of fun. It can be emotionally hard because you can never know one hundred percent what will happen when the baby is born.  My IM and me talk everyday she is close is to my child etc it's going to be quite a loss if we lose touch, but i think doing it for someone you don't have much contact with you would make it a long nine months. Good luck on your journey.


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## mum_of_two (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi all
Thanks for all your responses and advice. 
There are so many things to learn. Currently researching everything. 
So much information out there.  
Thank you
L xx


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi L
On the legal side, Scottish surrogacy law is broadly the same as it is in England (and if you are married then your husband should go on the birth certificate initially and be involved in the parental order process - it is easier to get away with not doing that in Scotland, but it isn't the right approach legally). The process of dealing with the parental order is slightly different, but the law and all the criteria are the same. There is more about surrogacy law here if you want to get a feel for the basics: http://www.nataliegambleassociates.co.uk/knowledge-centre?root_level_topic=surrogacy&topic=all&user_type=all&query=

In terms of agencies, Surrogacy UK and COTS are both very good and experienced. Our team has also just launched a new agency - Brilliant Beginnings - and we would be happy to have a chat with you about how we could support you. We are based in England but happy to work with surrogates and IPs throughout the UK. There's some more information for potential surrogates here: http://www.brilliantbeginnings.co.uk/surrogates

Whatever route you decide to follow, this is a wonderful thing you are thinking of doing. We work with intended parents daily who just can't believe anyone would be selfless enough to help them have a family, and it always restores my faith in humanity to say there really are such people...

Natalie


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## mum_of_two (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi Natalie,
thank you for taking the time to respond. 

I've been intouch with both COTS and SUK, decided to start with SUK prefer the idea of the friendship approach everyone on the boards are great.
I'll have a read through brilliant beginning, plenty of advice and information. 

looking forward to taking the next step in the journey.

L xx


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

That's great L.  Surrogacy UK are a fantastic organisation, particularly if you like the social and friendship side of things.  Loads of luck on your journey - such a brilliant thing to do.


Natalie


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