# I'm new too! ~



## jilsy (Mar 9, 2006)

Hi i just came across this site a few days ago when i was feeling very low  and looking for some info and people who are going through similar experiences. I feel quite isolated as i don't feel able to discuss my situation with friends and family. My mum had been great until last week when my younger sister announced that she is pregnant and now she says that she feels torn and doesn't know how to deal with me! My sister's life is chaotic and she can hardly look after herself let alone a tiny helpless baby. I feel awful for feeling like this but it just seems so unfair and i feel like someone is having a laugh at me 

Sorry for ranting there, it feels a little better though 
I would love to hear from anyone out there who understands!

Jilsy x


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## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Hello Jilsy,  and a big welcome to FF

You've come to just the right place hun, you'll find lots of supportive and friendly people here to help.

It's really natural to feel the way you do about your sister's pregnancy. I think we all find it hard sometimes, and no matter how happy we are for other people often the jealousy creeps in. 
It really does seem unfair hun, but hopefully you will get to know lots of good people on FF who will help you through those hard days, and things will start to seem more bearable.

I wish you lots of luck and joy on the rest of your fertility journey, 

Lou W xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Jilsy

First here is a cyber cuddle to make you smile


There are many of us on here who can empathise with how your feeling with regard to your sister, you are certainaly not alone.
Your mum is going to feel torn as I am sure up until last week she saw her plans of being a nan, washed away, then suddenly its ok cause her other daughter is making her a nan, I dont believe she loves you any less - nor will not continue to support you, its just made it harder for everyone.

I hope that by finding this site , you can make new friends and recieve support to help you on your IF journey,

I myself have been TTC for 15 years and have watched all our friends and siblings have their familys I have been at the birth of my nephew and we are Godparents to about 4 of them! IF is a hard journey to be on - but you are not alone.

I hope you find some strengh in my reply, just give your mum time and yourself, your feeling cheated right now, and hurt, you will feel better.

When you feel ready tell us more about your journey so far. 
wishing you   & 

~Dizzi~


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Lou we were posting at the same time!

See jilsy 2 replies at once - we are like bus's.........


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## jilsy (Mar 9, 2006)

Thanks, it makes such a difference to know that there are others out there who know what it is like. I feel like a total wreck at the mo! I'm know that i'm very lucky as i have a lovely partner and my life is good, i just forget sometimes. I do feel as though things are going to change between me and my mum. I really feel like i can't get invloved in my sisters pregnancy. The whole situation is a nightmare due to problems that my sis has and i feel so angry with her. I know that i have to find a way of coping and moving on and i'm so glad that i found this site.



Jilsy x


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## Lou W (Nov 1, 2005)

Dizzi squirrel said:


> See jilsy 2 replies at once - we are like bus's.........


<turns round and looks at bottom in the mirror......>

How did Dizzi know I'm like a bus? She's never seen my bottom


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi jilsy and welcome to ff

U have found the perfect place for finding out info and getting support - its hard when your friends and family dont understand

Take care

Kate


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## helma (Mar 15, 2006)

Hi I'm new to all this too.I  have one daughter aged 5 yrs old and we have been trying nearly three years for another child.We have had all the tests done and now our consultant has referred us to Bourn Hall Clinic for IVF with ICSI.We attend our first consultation next Wednesday.We are hopeful for success.I'm glad a friend at work told me about this site being able to chat to people who are going through the same thing as ourselves.
helma(36)dh(34)


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## PoPs. (Mar 16, 2005)

Hi Jilsy xx

Just wanted to say welcome to FF

You have come to the right place to find new frients and support.

Sorry to hear you re having a rough time. My sis got pg in a very short relationship, she is a bit of a globe trotter and I thought it was unfair. But me and my sis are very close, anyhow the preg ended at 12 weeks with an ectopic...............i felt so sorry for her and gutted at the same time. As much as you hate the situation you will be fine because you wouldn't anything to happen to them.

Stay strong.............and remember you have us now xx

x PoPs x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi helma and welcome to ff as well

Good luck with everything

Kate


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## carrie3479 (Nov 30, 2005)

hi jilsy, 
welcome to the site, hope you find all the help and support you need on this site. i am in a similar situation with a close friend of mine, she is expecting twins in a couple of months and is now "funny" about me looking after her 2 year old daughter, as if im a complete   as "it may be awkward"
take care and i wish you all the best
Corrina


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## ncfcgirlie (Mar 16, 2006)

Hi I'm a newbie too.
I'm sorry to hear about your sister and how you feel. I found it hard when my cousin who is 10 years younger than me got pregnant and although I'm always really pleased for them, when my friends get pregnant or huff and puff when they haven't got pregnant after a few months (and they know what I'm going through) I feel a bit fed up myself.
I found this site a couple of nights ago and I'm already finding it really helpful. Just reading other girlie's postings who are in a similar situation is comforting. I also have a real sense of admiration for you girls who have been trying for years longer. Your perseverance is second to none! Unfortunately I don't have the luxury of being able to try for that long as my biological clock is ticking away at really fast rate!!
It's funny that when you get to the age of 36 and you try to conceive for the very first time in your life, you just have no idea of what the journey ahead is going to be..
I have always been a born worrier and my job is deadline driven so the stress definitely doesn't help. I've been having reiki and/or reflexology which I've found really helpful and heard acupuncture is good. Anybody got any other suggestions??
I'm waiting for Bart's to come back with what ivf process I will be having so I'm in limbo at the mo.


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## steph33 (Mar 11, 2006)

hi jilsy
welcome to FF i understand wot u say wen i found i was pg a wk later my sister inlaw found out she was pg my brother already had 4 kids to is ex and he had taken her little boy on as his own i was over the moon 4 them but then at 6ks pg i had an EP and lost my tube the day i came out of hosp they had gone for an early scan  as she was having pains turned everything was ok but they came home with xtra news it was twins my heart was ripped out i tryed to b happy for them and they are sensative around me but i couldnt help but think how unfair it was i loose my baby and they gain 1 as if they haven got enough already and they have another 1 now who is 10wks old 
but for as hard as it was i had to make myself interested in the babies and ive even had then over nite although i loved haveing them i judge the was they do things and  i just couldnt help but think it is not going to happen for me so i went for a long shower and just stood under the water and cried then  came out as if everything was ok coz i dont show my feelings much,
you have to love your sisters baby even though it hurts that baby will give u so much joy 
baby dust    being sent to u aswell as bubbles for support
take care and good luck
steph


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## steph33 (Mar 11, 2006)

hi helma 
welcome to FF wot a gr8 support this site is ,its good to hear you r staying +iv thats how we all should b there is so much hope wen u read all the sucess stories 
good luck baby dust   &   being sent to u take care
steph


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## KathyS (Mar 18, 2006)

Hi there

I am new too and only registered tonight.

Life is unfair isn't it?  The line of work I am in means I see loads of mums with many (probably unplanned/unwanted) children and it makes me so mad.

I'm sure your mum will still give you her full support.  You have to remember she is going to be excited at the thought of having a grandchild at the moment, but you say she has been fully supportive up until now, so I'm sure that will continue.

Best of luck


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

ncfcgirlie - welcome to ff - u have found the most fantastic site for advice and support and i hope everything works out for u xx

Hi and also welcome to kathys - I also feel like u at times - i sometimes help my mum at her nursery where she does a family group where the kids are deprived at home as the parents would rather spend their money on DVD's, **** etc than buy food for their kids as well as kids there with teenage parents of 16 who dont really want to spend anytime with their kids and it makes me so cross!!

Still i guess when we all eventually concieve and have a baby we will appriciate them so much more than others who have fallen pg naturally and nobody will ever know what we have been through to get there.

Kate xxx


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## steph33 (Mar 11, 2006)

hi kathys 
welcome to FF and good luck on ur nxt cycle 
u      
steph


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## teardrop (Mar 15, 2006)

hi Jilsy,
Welcome hun,you dont have to go thought this alone you are among friends here who can understand what you are going through  
so feel free to post when ever you want there is also a chat room where you can meet people going through the same experiences as your self. 
big big hug
luv
teardrop
xxx


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## jilsy (Mar 9, 2006)

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all of the lovely things that you have all said. It makes such a difference to be able to log on to this site and know that there are others in the same situation and to now that there is support aswell.

Thanks again.

Jilsy x


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## jilsy (Mar 9, 2006)

Hi, I have posted here before but haven't been around for a while as i have been coping fairly well....by burying my head in the sand i think!
My younger sister had a baby in Nov and i have a gorgeous nephew who i just love to bits!(which surprises everyone in my family i think, due to how badly i took the news of my sis's pregnancy)
Today i have had a really bad day and i'm just finding it hard to cope, feel like i will never have a baby of my own and i don't really have anyone to talk to who knows how it feels to be in this situation. Have been on the phone crying  to my mum, who is fab but it's not the same really. 
Hopefully i will feel better now that i have had a moan  lol


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## MIMI4 (Feb 16, 2007)

Hi. I know how you feel. I felt same before my son was conceived (Gyn told me I would never conceive natrually). I did 4 years later! I found out 5 days before appointment to see Fertility Dr. Don't know what your history is but don't give up hope.


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## jilsy (Mar 9, 2006)

Thanks....it's reasurring to hear stories like yours. We have been ttc for 5 years now, i have borderline pcos and have been advised to lose weight which is a real struggle. Have decided to get moving and start taking positve action again!


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## LEIGH1 (Feb 1, 2007)

hia sorry to hear you have been feeling a little down i quite often feel like you and am very new to the site so if you feel like offloading on someone who will understand i'm here to chat anytime

take care huny
leigh xx


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## dhikki (Sep 5, 2005)

Hi and welcome to this fantastic site! There are hundreds of fertility friends on here, men and women who can totally understand how your feeling and offer loads of help and advise and support!!!!!!!!!!

I too have been ttc for 5 years no luck yet!

Enjoy the site lots of love Donna xx


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi Jilsy, I understand totally how you must be feeling. Me and DP have been ttc for 3 years. I have PCOS. My younger brother and his girlfriend announced they were expecting and my gorgeous niece was born in sept 06. Dont get me wrong i adore her too bits. At the time i was so angry and upset I had a big attack of the green eyed monster. I still do sometimes now. it doesnt help with the way that they live, being youngsters and not working. I always think Id be a great mum. I Have morals, i know whats right and wrong and i know whats important when it comes to a baby. When I look at how they live it makes me angry as i Could give soo much love to little one and its just not happening. I've cried myself to sleep many a times, My DP is very supportive but sometimes i dont think he truely understands how im feeling. He always says you have to think positive, but its so hard especially when you have your period every month. Sometimes I think men just dont understand that part. It doesnt help with me that my bestfriend also has a baby (not quite so little now, nearly 2 and my gorgeous goddaughter) and she doesnt look after her properly. I try to be there for her as much as i can, but sometimes it just makes me angry and upset. It doesnt help that only my mum and best friend know what im going through. I always keep everything bottles up and then i mither over things for weeks. I have realised i need some help to deal with my emotional issues and went to see my GP who is fantastic. She has put me forward for counseling. Im waiting for my first app, so cant say wether it will help.
My mum has been great with me, she knows how much I long for a child and she is supporting me through weight loss. Im very close to my mum so when my brother announced they were expecting my first thought was if i have a child it wont be your first....so selfish i know. I realise it now, but I didnt then. It doesnt help that she can read me like a book so one look at my face and she knows im upset.
Sorry to ramble but just reading your message i thought i know how she feels. Im back to hospital in april so I shall go from there.

If you want a chat or want to ask anything give me shout

Huggles 
dakota xx


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