# Hello Im a newbie looking for friend's who understand.



## Saraxxxx (Mar 16, 2015)

Hey everyone 

Nice to meet you and find others feeling the pain of Infertility, I just wish this forum didn't have to exist but thankfully it does.
This is such a surreal feeling I really don't know where to start. 
I was due to have both fallopian tubes removed last Thursday due to Hydro on both sides scar tissue etc.
It was cancelled yet they didn't bother telling me until I rang them.(rant) 
Obviously this puts everything else back and the waiting game strengthens.
Ive been seeing a fertility Dr who recommended I have both removed to increase my chances with IVF.
This is such a lonely feeling as you all will know. Im quite surprised I haven't cracked yet actually but there is still plenty of time for that. 
I just want this op to be done and over so I can move on with the IVF. 
So many feelings so many questions today is a down day.
I hope you all are having a better day and your BFP is also just around this corner.
Sending love and hugs thanks for having me.
xx


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## mrs.kiwi (Mar 20, 2011)

Welcome saraxxxx
If you have any questions or worries this is the place to be 
everybody is really helpfull and there is so much information and support 
Good luck with everything, its a stressful and confusing time, but we're all in the same boat 
Beca x


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## Ljp64 (Nov 23, 2013)

Hi Sara, 
I had an ovary and tube removed two years ago and have had my remaining tube clipped. I was able to start IVFS three months later at an NHS clinic. Hang on in there and insist on a scan as soon as you feel well enough to get the ball rolling. 
You will get lots is support on here and find lots of positivity. Remember that it's the deliver y system that doesn't work not the eggs so you have a good chance of success with IVFS
Lisa xx


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## nikk (Dec 19, 2012)

Hi Sara, 

I too have had both my Fallopian tubes removed, I can completely understand how your feeling!! I had one done 2 years ago and the other in June last year, and I'm booked for my baseline test this Friday!!

It is a long process which in times you feel like your not getting anywhere, but I guess as the saying goes good things come to those who wait!! 

Xx


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## GuthrieC (Jan 25, 2015)

Hey, I am so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. That sounds awful. My journey is different from yours but I do understand how it feels to not be in control of the appointments and the communication and well, the biggest thing in your life. This is a tough game but it looks like you've already found out that you're stronger than you thought you were. There are a lot of people here who will try their best to make it less lonely for you. Won't make the pain go away but it is good to be able to rant with people who understand. Have they given you any idea of when you will get the op?
Big hug. Rubbish journey but you've got to keep your eye on the prize and like Lisa said you have a good chance of success. x


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

Hello

So sorry to hear that about your op must of been tough when you got yourself psyched up for it, I had a tube out due to hydro before. I definitely agree on it really increasing your chance of success 

You will find some great support on here the ladies on the tubal threads are lovely 

If you need anything shout 

L xx


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## Saraxxxx (Mar 16, 2015)

Ohh thankyou all so much for taking your time to reply to me I am welling up here!!
Its a very long road we all want to run down we will get there in the end.
Its been a nightmare regarding Sunderland hospital they made me wait 7 weeks after my laparoscopy for the results.
I had to go and get the letter myself in the end. They forgot to test me before the lap and did it all in the anaesthetic room instead which was bewildering. It scares me what may go wrong with them as well as all this heart ache.
I am now due to have it done on the 21st of April I am terrified.
I wonder how long after I will start the process, god you wonder so much don't you.
Anyone else have the same pain where your friends are scared to tell you they are pregnant. I got a txt off my best friend saying she didn't want to tell me on the phone incase I got upset!!! Aww this is the worst It makes you feel so alien doesn't it. 
Wishing you all success on your journeys thank from the bottom of my heart for letting me rant at you!!
Im a great listener too promise!!  xxx


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## nikk (Dec 19, 2012)

Yes I'm in the same boat with the friends situation! It's awful on both parts, but I can't help but feel a pang of jealousy 😔 although I'm happy for them. I'm surrounded by pregnant women at work there's 4 at the moment and all I here is baby talk, it's enough to send me under! But like I said earlier good things come to those who wait!! 

Xx


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## Saraxxxx (Mar 16, 2015)

@Nikk Aww bless you I don't know how your coping with that many but your right we are gonna get a special bundle soon enough and yes its totally normal to feel jealous. 
Its really hard 2 friends had babies weeks apart so our coffee mornings tuned into a creche.
They would even talk about their next one whilst bouncing a 3 month old. I had to stop going in the end it got to much all baby talk nothing else.
Then my friend txt me to say she was I was so upset she felt she couldn't scream her joy at me.
Sadly she lost the baby at 5.5 weeks and I can't comfort her as she lives in Ireland.

Have you started any IVF yet NIkk and if you don't mind me asking does it hurt when you have the op done?
Im off to the south of france to recover so there is a positive.
Where are you from and what hospital are you at?  I will be having IVF at Gateshead,  i WONDER HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET TO THAT POINT LOL.  I was told I don't have to wait on a list as Ive been seeing the fertility dr since December.
Hope you all have a lovely day xxxx


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## nikk (Dec 19, 2012)

Hi Sara,

The op itself went fine, when removing my last tube they found a cyst that was the size of an orange so removed that too I was down longer than they said because of that. My stomach was tender for about a week but that was expected. They inflate you with gas which can travel and get trapped, I ended up with it trapped in my shoulder which hurt more than my stomach, it wore off though within a day or two. 

I haven't started treatment yet, I go for the bloods and baseline on Friday but I know what to expect as I've had it before, I know from last time I waited around 12 weeks for the results which resulted in my last op, so now I should be problem free and ready to go! I'm St ST Marys in Manchester and live in Ashton under lyne.

I get the whole friend thing completly! I've distanced myself from a lot of them if I'm honest! A girl at work is 26 weeks with her second and already planning her third! She's so in your face with it sometimes I feel like screaming at her where to go! I think people are so inconsiderate at time. My own sister and her Husband have 7 children between them (none together) and they'll openly sit and tell us he's getting his vesectomy reversed so they can have a baby, they've even named it! It angers me so much I can't be around them, as they obviously know our situation! 

A nice break will do you good once you've had your op, it's good to escape every now and then xx


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## Lilly83 (Jan 19, 2012)

My first lap I was in hospital overnight and went back to work after 3 days, second one though I was in theatre 7 hours and in hospital 3 days, had 7 days at home after that then back to work so recovery was quick, I had a catheter for a few days that time 

L x


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## GuthrieC (Jan 25, 2015)

I am almost relieved that you guys have been so open about how you feel about your pregnant friends. It eats me apart that I am jealous of them and angry at them for not considering my pain. We are sing Donor Sperm and my friend (who knows this) presented me with a picture of her 12 week scan to announce her pregnancy and drew similarities between the 12 week fetus and her husband! The next time I saw her at a meal with other friends she sat beside my husband explaining that nature's fertility test is to make new born babies look more like their fathers. I have to protect myself from her by not seeing her. It's sad to loose a friend like that. Every time I turn round a friend or someone at work is pregnant or just had a baby and it's as if it is them that need all the protection (because apparently they are just so sensitive to any talk of babies and pregnancy) and me who has to be sensitive to their heightened baby emotions. I feel bad for feeling angry and jealous and for avoiding seeing their wee babies but it's just too hard just now when we are getting our heads round donor conception and being told that IUI has a 10% success rate and it will take us about two years to get to IVF. 
Has anyone seen the thread with the infertility nemes? It's funny and if you're feeling a bit sad and angry with your friends it might help! 
Lots of   to you all. x


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## nikk (Dec 19, 2012)

I can't totally get where your coming from! Although it confuses me, is it us that are the bad ones for feeling how we do? Or is it our friends for constantly throwing it in our faces? My husband took me to the Trafford centre last night to treat me to some new clothes, I ended up having a major melt down because I couldn't fit into a pair of bloody jeans!! He said its ok just get the next size up! Trying to explain how I felt was hard work! The minute I walked out of the shop I was surrounded by pregnant woman and baby crys! It felt like I was being tortured! He didn't get why I felt like that until I explained when I got home, I just don't feel cinfudent with myself any more. I've put on a little weight, and the most natural thing in the world I can't even do! Some days I'm fine and others I'm not, yesterday was a day I could have just buried my head in the sand and left alone! As I write this I'm dancing around the living room listening to music giving the house a spring clean, it's a funny thing how your moods can suddenly change! I just hope that one day I'll see those two little blue lines!!xx


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## nikk (Dec 19, 2012)

Sorry that should say can! X


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