# Taking the First Steps .........



## Lillianna (Apr 10, 2002)

Hi Everyone

We have just taken the first steps towards adoption
and are feeling excited and positive about the future  

We have written to several Local Authorities in our area (Gloucestershire) and hope to attend a couple of adoption evenings soon and find an agency most suitable for us  

I know through our adoption journey we will be faced with many different hurdles which we will need to overcome but, hopefully we will get through them together. 

I have read about adoption and know there arent many babies who need adopting anymore but any advice you could give us would be wonderful. 

Ideally, we would love to adopt a baby, toddler and maybe a young child. I am 30 and Darryl is 31. I work as a childminder and provide cover at a local nursery. We are close to our families and have a lovely group of friends who are all supportive. 

I would love some adoption Buddies 

Any advice would be welcomed 

Has anyone joind Adoption-UK or BAAF ??

love

Lily x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Lily

I am on the journey too. You can follow my progress on the starting the journey part 2 thread.

I had my first social worker visit in February, we had all our references and security checks back in march and we start our course next week. It is a long process but no doubt it will be rewarding in the end.

My local authority (wolverhampton) have said otherwise about babies, apparently they have quite alot (it sounds awful, but at least I can think of one of them being a very happy baby with me and Rich). Rich and I are going for 2 together (instant family) for 2 reasons really. We have always wanted 2 children and there is no telling what the adoption situation would be in a couple of years time, but equally we wanted the children to have a bond so we are going for a sibling group, with both children under the age of 3 .

It will be very difficult for me to talk publicly about what is going on as the system you go through has to be protected. A useful book I brought was The Adoption Experience by Ann Morris (published by the Telegraph). You can order it via FF on Amazon. it shows both the highs and the lows of adoption and experiences from all parties involved.

Good luck, and don't forget you can find my on the other thread updating as much as I can as I go along the journey.....

Love Karen x


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## Bev H (Nov 4, 2002)

Hi Lily
Just wanted to say good luck to you, we are still undecided about adoption. I too read the book recommended by Karen,(v.good) and we went to an "Open Day" which was very informative and gives you an outline to how the system works.
GOOD LUCK love Bev H xxx

HI KAREN XXX


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## Lillianna (Apr 10, 2002)

Thanks for replying and thank you for your support Karen  

Gosh you are very lucky in Wolverhampton with lots of babies available. 

I have just spoken to a lady from PACT in Oxford (A voluntary agency) who was lovely and very helpful but she said the Local Authorities tend to have more babies than the voluntary agencies. Gloucester have said at the moment they do not have any children under the age of 5 so try again in October. 

Do you think Wolverhampton would accept us or do we live too far away? 

This evening we are going to a friend of a friedns who have adopted a little biy so it will be nice to chat to someone who has been through the adoption process. 

I will follow your story with interest

love

Lily x


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## Lillianna (Apr 10, 2002)

Thanks Bev I have actually read the 'Adoption Experience' from my local library and thought it was excellent. I am glad you enjoyed it also

Good luck with whatever you decide 

love

Lily x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Lilly

I am not sure if adoption is like treatment and you can choose anywhere in the country to go? Try giving them a ring and telling them about the situation with your own authority. I know that when I first applied via Shropshire, before they delayed things, that they said once you have been approved by panel, then they have access to children from neighbouring authorities.

I am actually doing my course with a neighbouring authority as they don't run courses often enough.

Here's the link http//:www.fosteringinwolverhampton.org/adoption/

Hope that works.

Hi Bev - hope you are well. Keep in touch

Love
Karen x


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## Hope 2 B (Mar 26, 2003)

Hi Karen 

I hope you don't mind me asking , but have they said roughly how long the whole process takes ?? 


GOOD LUCK ! , you WILL make a lovley mommy ! 

Love Gail X


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## Nicky (Apr 23, 2003)

Hi all

We are about to put on hold our application for adoption. During our initial meeting we were told the process would take 2 years and that we would attend prep. courses (we assumed throughout the 2 years). 

We had our initial social worker visit and were waiting to be allocated on the next programme. The invite arrived yesterday!

We are actually on holiday for the first two sessions (9 in all), but then I was gobsmacked that in a 3 WEEK PERIOD, we would need 4 days off work (plus 2 evenings and 1 Saturday). We allocated our leave earlier in the year and we don't have any leave left. Also, I am just about to take on a new role (so that would go down well wouldn't it??)

Can I ask how others in this situation have managed this??

Nicky xxx


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## Lillianna (Apr 10, 2002)

Hi yaaaaaaaaaaaa

Thank you for the warm welcome I am feeling excited about our adoption journey 

Last night we got together with my MIL's friends who adopted a little boy aged 10 months about 3 years ago. It was great being able to talk to another couple who have been through the the adoption process. 

As we are just starting out I have lots of questions and would love to know at which stage of adoption everyone is at and the age and how many children will hopefully be placed. Also, which problems you are willing to help your children with.

Karen, god luck with the class next week. When I start thinking about going on the classes I feel nervous but I think to myself I am doing it for my littles so hopefully I will be fine. 

Nicky, its typical isnt it. I always find as soon as I get on with my life and start making plans everything else happens too. Are work aware you are going through adoption? I am sure they would understand if you needed to take a couple of days off.

I feel as if I am starting to live again  My childminding business is also starting to take off, next week Harry (20 months old) is coming to play yipeeeeeee  

take care

love

Lily x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi All

Gail - they said the process would take about 12 months in all, but in our case, maybe accelerated due to the fact that we are prepared to take a sibling group of 2 children.

Nicky - the course varies depending on your authority and the visits on your social worker. The authority I am with host their own courses and use the services of 2 neighbouring authorities and they all differ. The one we are going through does a 3 straight day course in the week. Another does, 3 days - Thurs, Fri and Sat and the one we are attending with does 4 days but 1 day per week for four weeks. 

I have told my immediate manager what is happening and the rest of the senior management team I'm in know as they will need to plan cover for my job. Also having spoken to a girl at work who adopted, they got the green light that they had been approved to adopt their daughter and within 2 weeks she was living with them. So I have had to warn my boss that things may progress very quickly. I am very lucky because they are all very supportive and equally excited.

We have been told that we will be allocated our social worker at the end of the course and that we will get about 9 home visits all in all, some of these will be made to our referees, they will want to see me and Rich separately and togher, but we don't have dates for this.

Lilly - we are adopting 2 children aged under 3, definitely 1 boy and they will be related. We have not yet decided what circumstances we would be willing to consider yet, I think we will discuss this with the social worker. We want to make sure that we are able to support a child given our lifestyle and working commitments and so don't want to decide until we have got their advice.

Good luck everyone
Love
Karen x


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## Juel (Jan 17, 2003)

Hi Ladies
Hope you dom't mind me joining you...we're at the moment trying to decide whether to start the adoption journey or to go the DE route...adoption is my preference at the moment but have heard that you have to have a cooling off period after tx 6/12 months i've heard...is that true?

Karen...I'd be interested to hear from you especially as we are in thr same area,did you have to wait??
I find this a little upsetting as we know our own minds but i can understand the reasoning behind it i suppose, i'm just so impatient...i want to start the journey NOW!!! 
I hope that you're all getting on ok,you'll all make lovely mummy's
luv & hugs to you all
juelxxxxxxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Juel

We were lucky and didn't have to wait as we never got the opportunity to have a treatment cycle, so in their eyes we hadn't had fertility treatment. You are right though there is a cooling off period, but it doesn't stop you from starting the ball rolling and making the initial enquiries. The reason they have a cooling off period is quite simply because it is a major impact on your lives. With tx there is still that little glimmer of hope of having your own, for us there was no chance and so our hope had gone. It takes a long time to go through the process and so they don't want people to start the process and then decide to have more tx.

We were originally going through Shropshire, having found out our situation in the November we were then due to go to their open day in January, which they cancelled, the next one wasn't until March, but for them you cannot do anything until you have attended an open day. So I rang Wolverhampton, and they do things a little differently. They don't do open days, but instead book a home visit with a social worker (not necessarily the one you will have throughout the adoption process) and they talk you through what happens and they decide if you are suitable to go ahead. 

You then fill out a load of forms and send off for security checks to be done. Once they come back and are ok you are then invited to the course. We were seen by the social worker in Feb, our checks were back clear in March and we were called for the course in April, but it was short notice and we were away when they rang. We start the course next week (through Dudley) and then it all really starts to gain momentum.

Hope this helps. 
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Love
Karen x


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## Lillianna (Apr 10, 2002)

Just popped into say a quick hello  

Karen, fab news about your friend adopting a little girl so quickly - you will be next yipeeeeeeeee  

Juel, I understand why some Authorities ask you to come to terms with your infertility before starting adoption but you are like me - want a little now  If you speak to several Agencies you wil find that alot have different views of when you are ready to start. Everyone has a different story and hopefully if you can chat with them they will be able to givel you a timescale for your own personal journey. 

We have joined Adoption-UK and I contacted the administrator in our area (Gloucestershire) and she was lovely. She said they are meeting up next month so that is something to look forward too  

I am off to the Water Park with my mum later  

have a good weekend 

love

Lily x


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## Juel (Jan 17, 2003)

Thank-you ladies for your advise,my head is still 
Hope you're all well
luv
juelxx


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## CarolineW (Sep 19, 2004)

Hi ya Lily

Thanks for telling me about this site  

Looking forward to chatting to you soon and celebrating as well  

Take care hunnie

Lots of love
Caroline
xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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