# 2nd failed cycle feeling very lost



## minkey114 (Nov 10, 2010)

Hi Ladies,

We have just done out second ICSI, the cycle went really smoothly and had 1 blast and 1 morula put back.  I was feeling very positive but sadly have today started bleeding 1 day before OTD (although tested early yesterday and it was negative).  The blood is fresh and red and increasing every time I go to the loo.

Our first cycle was a chemical pregnancy.  I know it has only just happened but I feel so lost and numb.  I had my hopes up this time, I can't believe we now have 2 failed cycles......I'm so so upset.  I'm so scared that this is never going to work for us, and also at the moment don't know if I'm strong enough to go through it all again...............


----------



## hellibump (Sep 21, 2006)

Hi I've just had a second failed icsi feeling awful can't stop crying we have a snow baby but 
Terrified that wouldn't work either I had 1 grade 1 and1 grade 2 put back
Went round mothercare just touching the clothes . You aren't on your own
We don't have money for a fresh cycle .
Take care of yourself


----------



## minkey114 (Nov 10, 2010)

Hi Hellibump,

So sorry for you too   this really does hurt doesn't it.  Like you I have just sat there crying today and feeling very numb, have to do the injustice of POAS tomorrow to satisfy the clinic even though AF is in full flow now.

I guess all we can do is let it all out       and take each day at a time.


----------



## Itgetsbetter (Apr 13, 2011)

Hi ladies,

I'm in the same situation. My otd is on sat but Ive got loads of reddish brown stuff coming out (just like last time) so i know its over. Between the tears i feel really angry. Is that normal?. Angry at myself for believing this could work, and angry that people like us have to go through this.
Ivf has ruined my life this year. Ive lost my job cos of sick time i had to take off and Ive completely lost my confidence and drive so doesn't look likely ill be able to get a job in the near future.
I do have 2 snow babies but i dont see the point in going through the pain again if i cant get pregnant with 2 blasts, theres not much chance with less quality ones.
This whole process has left me emotional and physically fragile and drained.
This is also all our nhs funding used up and as I'm not working its highly unlikely that we could afford another cycle anyway.
How do we move on


----------



## waitingpatiently (Jan 5, 2009)

Ladies

I'm also in the same situation, we got our second BFN last Friday, was doing quite well until one of the ladies at work e-mailed me today to let me know she is pregnant, I felt as if my heart had been ripped out and the damn tears came back again.  We are now saving for another attempt next year, I will never, ever allow myself to think it has worked ever again as it hurts so much, however we are strong ladies just to go through IVF in the first place, and I hope there is something I can do to fulfil my dream.  At the moment though I feel like a complete failure, but I know I will pick myself up and brush myself off to put myself through it all over again xxxx


----------



## Jo1980 (Jan 30, 2011)

Hi

I've just had my 2nd failed cycle (my 1st was also chemical pregnancy).  My AF showed up full flow today, 2 days before OTD. I honestly thought it would work this time as the embryos were better quality. 

What have we done to deserve this?!


----------



## Here&#039;s Hoping1 (Jun 5, 2011)

Hello Ladies,

I couldn't not post after reading all of your posts. It looks as though you are all in the same bloody awful boat with recent BFN's.
The sadness, anger and all the other emotions are bound to feel very, very raw at the moment.
It is going to take some time to get for you through this period of grief - and that is not too strong a word.
I think the thing is to take each day at a time, know you are not alone ( you always have us on here!), and give yourselves some tlc. 
You will all be in my   for the strength to get through - I know you all will. As the weeks go by, it does get easier and it becomes possible to look again to the future.

xx xx


----------

