# Be careful: any single ladies in the process of divorce



## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi lovely ladies

I just wanted to highlight this for you in case it applies to anyone here - I seem to have had a run of clients with this problem lately.

If you are conceiving with donor sperm (whether through a sperm bank or a known donor through self insemination), the law says that your husband is the legal father unless you can show he doesn't consent.  That means that if you have separated from your husband but your divorce is not yet finalised, your husband (and not your donor/ co-parent if you have one) will be the legal father.  The biology is irrelevant, and it could leave the wrong person with legal parenthood including all the rights and responsibilities that entails.

If this applies to you, do make sure you get some legal advice on your position before you proceed with trying to conceive, and in the meantime be very careful about what you say to your husband (if he knows about your plans, it will be very difficult for either of you to establish a lack of consent later on).

If any of you need advice, feel free to get in touch.

Natalie
[email protected]


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## bendy (Mar 26, 2008)

Hi there,

Thanks for this post. I was vaguely aware of this, but seeing it in this environment has crystallised the need for me to address this. For my situation, I am concerned that the time to take a divorce to completion might exclude me from treatment  

Are there any freely available standard letters/ contracts that you are aware of that would negate this if it were signed by both parties (assuming my ex would agree to sign one)  

Really appreciate your thoughts.

xxx Sarah B


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Oops - I'd overlooked your post so sorry for the delayed reply.

You can put paperwork in place, but it's not a standard form thing - rather a formal statement of the facts in your own particular circumstances.  I've done a few for clients, and they've all been different.

Also, you absolutely should not get your husband to sign it.  The point of the paperwork is to establish that he doesn't consent to the treatment, and if it is very clear he knows about the treatment and goes along with it, that will actually undermine your position rather than to help it.

Best of luck.  Do let me know if you need my help.

Natalie
[email protected]


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