# Newbie looking for a bit of support



## Wishing4#35 (Sep 5, 2015)

Hello, I'm hoping to find some lovely ladies who might have a feeling of what I'm going through  
Currently me and dh have been Ttc #3 for four years. We have two sons conceived both by accident aged 8 and almost 5. Since having my youngest my husband has undergone bariatric surgery (gastric bypass) which has affected his absorption of sperm providing vitamins and hormones and this has left him with low sperm count, (less than a million) during the fertility investigation it was discovered I have only one ovary. This has put huge pressure on our marriage, as my husband blames himself and we even seperated temporarily. We assumed as we had got pregnant at the drop of a hat there would be no issue. But we shouldn't have been complacent. I'm 35 now, so times not on our side. We have both agreed ivf is not for us, and we couldn't afford it if we did. My husband suffers with depression so I find it difficult to talk about this with him, and every time I see a bfn I could really use somewhere to vent. I made a pact with myself to stop actively trying as everyone says as soon as you stop trying it will happen. I try not to track my cycle but the second I get an ov twinge I'm back to square 1 and symptom spotting for the rest of the cycle. I'm really ****** off inside every time someone casually drops into conversation they are pregnant. I stare at bumps all the time. Everyone keeps saying I should be greatful for my two and I so am greatfull my boys are my world! But as a woman I just can't switch off the baby beacon that's beeping at me 24/7 😕


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