# donor egg worry about what genes the child might inherit



## Libby49 (Aug 8, 2012)

Did anyone worry about genetic family illnesses donor might pass on ( ie depression or others)
And consequences for the child inheriting them.  Or am i over analysing?


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## Lil Elvis (Dec 31, 2009)

Hi Libby,

I know my clinic ask questions about the entire family medical history of the donor to try to screen out as many potential issues as possible. I saw a post from one lady who was turned down as a donor because she has an autistic child and another because she had a history of severe depressive illness. I actually wasn't too worried as it impossible to know what genes both biological parents have and what combination might arise - I just concentrated on the fact that our donor was an exceptional lady who was willing to help total strangers, so if our daughter has inherited anything from I hope it is her selflessness and generosity of heart.

You will find a way through!

Good luck.

Caroline


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## mierran (Apr 24, 2009)

I think everyone who undergoes de or ds treatment wonders about - and worries about - what the child will inherit physically in terms of looks, disease predisposition, colouring etc as well as personality.  A good clinic will screen potential donors for inherited diseases and remember that the donor's genetics are only one of several factors influencing likelihood of disease. Your diet etc during pregnancy and the lifestyle of the child with diet exercise etc all play a part in many conditions as does upbringing factor into eg depression.

I think it is normal to worry but at the end of the day nothing in life is guaranteed. Take me. There is no history of endo in my family so where did i get it from. Hopefully using de means its less likely that my daughter will have this horrible disease - or any of the problems my family are predisposed too. 
Children are their own people with their own journeys through life and we are blessed to be part of that journey. All you can do is the best you can by them.

I think the important thing is that a lovely person wanted to help you have a longed for child and especially in the case of egg donation was prepared to put herself out considerably to do so. I think those are traits i want my children to inherit. 

X x x


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## greatgazza (May 27, 2010)

just a quick one as i have to go to bed soon, matchsticks propping up my eyes!

but when i started my ttc journey i discovered i had balanced translocated chromosomes after several miscarriages and this particular translocation would have meant i was likely to carry on miscarrying.  i have 7  brothers and sisters and none of them appeared to have this complication, my mum was one of ten, my dad an only child, but it seems this problem was 'de novo' in me, as in it started with me.  being the youngest of 8 and having 19 nephews and nieces i never dreamt i would have any problems having children, we seemed to be able to knock them out all over the place so it was a bit of a shock and i felt quite upset that i seemed to have got all the fertility problems for the whole family.  so, i used DE and love my little boy so much it makes my heart want to explode. it wasn't an easy decision and i did/sometimes still do have to grieve for my own eggs but the reality is if i'd used my own eggs i would never have known what i was 'passing on' either.. .. it's one of those things that we can never know but even having a medical history doesn't guarantee no issues. 

also, i suffer from depression so i'm hoping my LO won't have that issue but who knows.

it's a leap of faith, but it sure as hell is one worth taking.

GGx


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## Han2275 (Oct 3, 2010)

I don't think you can over analyse this! I think the main thing is that donors are screened for major life changing illnesses and we just have to take the rest by chance. The way I look at it is that I am certainly not carrying a perfect set of genes. My gene pool is full of cardiac problems and I am as stubborn as a mule  . I also find great comfort in the fact that my boys have half the genes of a wonderfully kind, selfless man who has helped us have children. I'm pretty happy for them to carry those genes


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## Pinky Dinky Doo (Apr 4, 2010)

I used donor sperm not donor eggs but the issue is the same.  I didn't worry too much about diseases at the time, but now my son is older and I have to sometimes fill in medical forms that ask about that kind of thing, it does cross my mind that we don't know very much.  What I have enjoyed about the donor aspect is that the child can sometimes surprise you with a talent that no one else in the family might have.  This happened to me in that my son is a hugely talented dancer.  Now, if he had been my and DP's natural child, we would probably have assumed that he'd have no talents in this regard, as we don't.  When he was 3 and appeared to be good at dancing I encouraged it, as I thought, well, maybe the donor was great at dancing!  So the element of unknown can be interesting and surprising and, I think, ultimately to be welcomed.  Because you have no particular expectations ("you must be good at music because I am"," I wonder if you will be great at painting like Uncle John?" "or dyslexic like cousin Fred)?" you really notice your child and what they are like!


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