# hello *



## momofone (Sep 1, 2007)

Hi there.  My first time posting here, I'm not in the UK (in Canada), but this board comes up most in searches for forums and looks like an active and supportive community...hope that's okay?

Anyway, I'm 27, my hubby just turned 30.  We've been ttc for 2 years and 7 months.  Just started testing and treatment for infertility in the last few months.  My hubby had a semen analysis, which was normal.  I had a blood test to check if I was ovulating - I am.  I had a histasalpinctogram (I probably spelt that wrong - they shoved die up my you-know-what and did an x-ray to see if all was clear).  It came back with some causes for concern.  One of my fallopian tubes had a delay on filling, and both had a delay on emptying/spilling.  So, then was the referal to the fertility doc.

I had a scope done the first week of August.  It showed that I've got a bicornate uterus, with the septum dividing it almost completely.  My uterus is also full of polyps.  I can't get pregnant without surgery, and even then, we don't know what the prognosis will be  

I'm booked for surgery at the end of October.  He's going to resection my uterus, remove the polyps, and also do a laparoscopy to remove any adhesions from endometriosis.  6-9 weeks after that, he'll scope me again, and then decide on a course of action...

I know I'm lucky to at least have a shot at conceiving.  However, I can't help but wish I hadn't wasted so much time trying to let things happen on their own.  Friends and family have all been saying "just quit trying, and it will happen", or "you can't stress about these things".  The thing is, I have RA, and went off of most of my meds to try and conceive.  I've been med-free, other than taking prescription NSAIDs as needed for almost a year now.  I'm terrified I'm going to go out of remission and have a flare, and will have to go back on the heavy meds, at which point my baby-making-window will slam shut.

I've never been pregnant and desperately want a baby.  I have an adopted son, who's 10 (we adopted him when he was 6 1/2) and has special needs (autism and everything else under the sun), and two special needs foster kiddos, aged 12 and 18.  But I want a wee one!  I'd adopt, but the adoption process with our guy was so traumatic (it was not the typical process) that my hubby's been really put off.

Anyway, glad to have found this board!


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## Julie-Anne (Mar 2, 2006)

Hi Momofone,

Welcome to ff  Gosh it certainly sounds like you have a very busy life caring for your son and foster children. I completely understand your want for a baby of your own.I hope you will find ff the supportive,informative and friendly place I have while you are TTC. There is a thread for others based in Canada under the overseas locations board which might interest you. Here is the link:
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=392.0

Good luck

Juliex


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## Zulu (Apr 25, 2007)

Hi Momofone,

Just wanted to welcome you to FF.  You will find so much advice, support and best of all an opportunity to meet peolpe who can understand how you feel and wont say *just relax it will happen*.

Good-luck for you operation in October. 

Take Care
Bev


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## blondieh (Dec 15, 2005)

Welcome to FF i do hope you get what you dream for and just remember don't give in xxxxxxxxxx


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## wishing upon a star (Aug 14, 2007)

welcome to the group you really have had a tough time. sending love and best wishes to you and hope everything goes well for you
love 
Leanne


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello momofone, welcome to Fertility Friends. 

Although we are a UK based board, we have loads of overseas members and everyone is welcome!
Well done on you for adopting and fostering! I have a lot of respect for anyone who takes on children with special needs as you have done.
Please try not to second guess the time you spent waiting for it to happen naturally; you have done the right thing seeking help now and I hope that the surgery will give you a fighting chance. Family and friends mean well but don't understand the medical basis behind most infertility and most stil think that old "relax and it will happen" is true.

I have left you a few links which I hope you will find useful and informative:

*Meanings ~ *CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY INFO GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Investigations & Immunology ~ *CLICK HERE

*Endo ~ *CLICK HERE

You can "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the location boards. This is especially useful to find people from the same clinic as you.  CLICK HERE FOR CANADA BOARDS[/b]

We also have a newbie night in the chat room every Friday (times vary), where you can meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.
[url=http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=85409.0] CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

Good luck with your surgery in October. I am sure we will "chat" again before then.

C~x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi Momofone,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *momofone* and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try out.

I wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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## momofone (Sep 1, 2007)

thanks for all the welcomes!

It's interesting, I've been reading a bit in the immunology section, and can't help but wonder if my RA will play a factor in my trying to conceive.  My rheumy never mentioned it, nor did my GP, or the new fertility doc.  However, I'm not certain the latter has even read my file for a medical hx?  I have a lot of immune issues, including a lot of allergies...I guess time will tell.


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

hello and welcome

hope everthing works out for you you should meet people on this site same as you and you get the support you need

good luck xx


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## momofone (Sep 1, 2007)

I introduced myself a few months back, but haven't posted since, as there'd been no change.  I've been ttc for almost 3 years, and found out this summer that the reason I wasn't getting pregnant was I have a bicornate/septate uterus, tons of uterine polyps, and likely endometriosis.

Yesterday, I had a surgery to correct this.  I had a hysteroscopic uterine resection, dye, and laparoscopy.

Here's the thing - my surgeon hasn't talked to me.  Am I being unreasonable in finding that unnacceptable?

It started with when he scheduled the procedure - he did my scope, told me I'd need a surgery, and left.  No info on what to expect, what exactly he'd be doing, etc. - I had to get that from the nurses at the hospital at my preadmission appointment.

Then, when I was in recovery yesterday, I asked if the doctor was going to tell me how it went.  The nurse said he wouldn't talk to me in recovery, because I wasn't likely to remember it since I'd be woozy from the meds, but that he'd stop by my room in a couple hours when I was more awake, and talk to me then.  So, as I finished coming around in my room, the nurses started getting me ready to go, and I said that the doctor hadn't been to see/talk to me yet.  They said they couldn't keep me there all day waiting for him, and to call him the next day.

I called him today, and his receptionist said yesterday was very busy, which is why he didn't talk to me.  He'd left no information for me.  I have a follow up appointment for November 19th, and can ask him how my procedure went then.  Meanwhile, I have stitches to come out, and I can either have my GP take them out or take them out myself.

WHAAAAT?

So, I've got to wait almost 3 weeks to find out what the outcome of my surgery was?  If there was any scarring or adhesions, if he was able to get all the polyps, if he was able to remove the septum, if there was anything unexpected?

On top of it all, the breathing tube tore my uvula at the back of my throat nearly completely off, and I've got some minor (hopefully temporary) nerve damage to my lips and chin area.  Nobody noticed.  I kept trying to tell the nurses in recovery that something was wrong, and instead of looking, they just said it felt funny because my mouth was dry.  However, now, when I look in the mirror, I can see that the uvula is hanging funny, and cut nearly clean off.

This surgeon comes highly recommended, and is my aunts gyno also, and she LOVES him.  From what I can tell, he did a nice job - I'm not in any pain really, and the incisions are tiny and neat - I doubt I'll have a scar.  However, I really don't like the lack of bedside manner, and not being kept "in the loop" of my own health


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Oh hun I'm sorry youve had such an experience,
If this was an NHS clinic/consultant you could speak to PALs otherwise I would be tempted to write a letter. 
The consultant normally writes to your GP so it may be worth asking them in about a week.

Sorry I am unable to help more, maybe others have some advice 
~Dizzi~


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## *Scooby* (Sep 16, 2006)

Momofone

Welcome to FF    I am sure you will find this site of such valuable support.

Wishing you all the best

x x x


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

OH momofone! 

I am sorry you have had such a negative experience with your cons and your surgery. I can't blame you for being unhappy and upset by it. That they damaged your throat and ignored your attempts to point it out is frankly shocking! I know a lot of very good cons are not known for their bedside manner but I would ahve thought the leats he should have done was tell you what you would be going through and give you some idea of whether it was successful or not. 

I would defnintely do as Dizzi says and contact your PALs about this.

Good luck. I hope you get your point across to them.

C~x


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## momofone (Sep 1, 2007)

thanks for the support.  Over the last few days, I've gone from upset and frustrated to downright furious!

My throat has gotten so bad - on Friday night, part of my uvula (hangy-ball-thingy) fell off.  Saturday I couldn't eat or drink anything, and went to the walk in clinic, worried I'd wound up with strep throat.  The doc there had a look, and says no, the problem is all from just general throat trauma from the surgery.  I KNOW that this is a risk of surgery, and I probably wouldn't be so angry about it, if there were any sort of follow up care...

Brings me to my next point:

There's been zero follow-up care, and a total inconsistency of care.  I was told I would have two incisions.  In the recovery room, the nurse showed me two dressings, and peeled back one.  She stated I had no sutures, just glue, and "showed" me this.  On Thursday, two days after my surgery, I went to have a shower, and found a third incision.  This incision is below my pubic hairline, was NOT shaved or dressed.  It's a small incision, just like the one on my lower abdomen, and has a single stitch in it.  There's hair right in the incision, but nothing I can do about that.  I've shaved around it as best I can and am trying to keep it clean.  Looks okay so far, only a little red.  I had a really close look in the shower today, and all three of my incisions have stitches, NOT glue.  Which is fine, except that the nurse said glue - ugh.

Then, today, I started bleeding, like a period.  Now, when I had my preadmission appointment, the nurse said that if I started bleeding like a period, that was an emergency.  I told her my period was due a few days after surgery anyway, and she said it was unlikely I'd get it, since there wouldn't be much lining left to shed after the surgeon was done, but that even if I did, that I should be able to tell the difference between menstrual blood and fresh blood.  Well, my periods have always been bright red blood - maybe that's unusual?

Anyway, so I started bleeding today.  I called the doc's office, even though it was closed, thinking there'd be an after-hours number on the message.  The message says, "if this is an emergency, please call the doctor's pager #", but doesn't give the number.  So then I called the hospital.  Explained I had surgery Tuesday, that I'm bleeding, I called the office, it said to call the pager, but there's no number, who can I call?  They say they cannot give out a doctor's number to the public.  I say I understand this, but who is on call for the doctor?  I had SURGERY last week, and need to ask about this bleeding.  They restate they can't give out that info.  I ask if I can leave my contact info and if they can page the doc and have him call me - they say no.  The only thing they'll do is give me the nurse's hotline from public health!  They say I can do that, or come into emergency.  Yeah right, like I'm going to go sit six hours in the ER because I'm not sure if I'm bleeding because of my surgery or my period.

So, the nurse's hotline was actually quite helpful.  She was really nice, listened to how much I'm bleeding, read up, had me take my temp, etc., and said I should be fine until tomorrow when the doc's office opens.  She encouraged me to get a new doctor, she thought it was very poor after care I was describing.

Really, my dogs get better follow up care from their veterinarian for crying out loud.

And I probably wouldn't be quite so upset, and would just be angry, if I hadn't heard of this doctor, and known others who'd seen him.  But the thing is, my aunt, who's the same age as me, sees the same fellow, and he's WONDERFUL to her.  Follows up, calls at home to see how she's doing.  She gets her appointments and surgery dates much faster.  So I can't help but be a bit hurt too.  I know it's silly, what should I care if some doctor likes me or not?  But it does feel like a personal slight, and geez, I'm not a hard-to-like person!  I'm friendly and polite, and get along with pretty much everybody, so having a doctor treat me like dog dirt, and then treat my relative like a princess stings 

And it doesn't help that I can't eat anything because of my darned throat.  I'm only able to get fluids down, and that only after spraying my throat with some antiseptic/numbing spray.

At least my incisions are healing pretty well, and I'm not having any real pain that way - just the throat that hurts.

You can bet the doctor will be getting a piece of my mind tomorrow - I'm FED UP!


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

I am so appalled at your situation, Get to the Dr's and get a complaint in too.

I would also speak to your aunt and tell her how badly youve been treated and that your lodging a complaint!

Your Consultant should have sent your normal doctor a follow up letter explaining what you had done and what after care you needed ie when to have the stiches taken out.
I'm not sure how the medical profession works out there so prehaps ask the ladies on the Canada threads too 
Wishing you a speedy recovary free from further trauma 

~Dizzi~


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