# Spaykay's wait for her Ethiopian baby.



## Spaykay

I live in Spain and will be adopting internationally as the adoptoin lists in Spain are SHUT!

We have been to our info meeting where they told us about what adoption entails and gave us all the paper work. Hopefully we'll get the paper work done within the next week (I hope  ) and can hand it in. Then we await a 4 week course (1 a week) in about 4 months!

That's about all for the moment folks!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Oops - been a bit of a quiet diary so far.

Well, we're now 1 week after our info talk and I've managed to scrape together all the paperwork we need (I think) and now just need our medical check...but we're fighting fit so should be fine. Then I can hand the papers in! YAY! We've been looking into adopting in Poland and Ethiopia but I've I've just read that adoption in Poland has been closed to Spain   so it's Ethiopia we'll look into...I'm very happy about that.

At the moment I am very excited but have some concerns about bringing an African child into a white home (well, DH is Spanish and permanently tanned the lucky thing!)...I hope they don't ever feel sad about being different to us...although I see it that we're all different and should celebrate our differences, I hope I can make them feel the same. I work in an International school which has kids from China, India, many African countires, Spain, England, Russia etc. etc. so I would send our chlid there meaning they would have the opportunity to mix with kids of all different shapes, sizes, skin tones and languages!

Hope you're all doing well!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

This diary is really going to take time to write as everything takes time! I'm just awaiting my medical check forms now so I can hand in all the paper work...hope it doesn't take too long tick tock tick tock!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Well, got my medical certificates back nice and quick and dod has said about my hole in heart (did I mention that?  ) as it's my only worry...even though it is very normal and does not affect anything!!! But I worry about anything   Will photocopy it tomorrow and hand in the papers on Tuesday!   How exciting!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Okay - so got my papers handed in which ended up taking about 3 hours!!!!    The actual paper handing over took 10 mins but the 2 hour wait to get in the parking coz DH was gonna miss his train and I had to go move his car out of paid parking madeit more lengthy!  

So paper work in and now they'll contact us in up to 1 month at the least!   Hope I got it all right and don't have to get any more bits together!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

2 weeks down, how many to go until call? Hope they're looking at the papers thinking....oooo, now thatp's a perfect couple if I ever saw on! 

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

TIck Tock Tick Tock







At work today people were talking about the happiest day of their lives, and the conclusion was the day the gave birth...instead of thinking







that'll never happen to me...I thought







instead of watching the clock, I should be excited knowing that I still have the happiest day of my life to come (which willl be even happier than the many I have to remember) and why do I want to rush it? I don't want it over too quick...so just relax and feel lucky that I have that day to come when I will 1st see the photo and then see my baby/chlild coming towards me to be held in my arms. I think my heart might just explode that day.









Kay xxx


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## Flotsam

Good luck. Am reading your story with baited breath.

Love 
Floss


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## Spaykay

Thanks Floss  ...more updating tomorrow, taking tiny tiptoes instead of giant footsteps...but they're all in the right direction!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Well - got a phone call from the adoption people  so excitement set in!   then they said that there was a problem so panic set in   but then they said that the only problem with the paper work was that they need a translation of my birth certificate which is easy peasy  . So I'm guessing that all the other bits are fine, they're not worried about the hole in my heart and that when they get my certificate tomorrow   I'll get a call to tell us when our courses are, I''m hoping in June and not September.

Kay xxx


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## carole

Woohoo !

It is great to see everything moving for you.


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## Shabba

Fantastic news K   
The ball is well and truely rolling now


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## Spaykay

Hello sparkly friends, thanks for popping in!

Well, faxed the birth certificate today







so I hope they got it okay! Now it's time to wait again!

Kay xxx


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## Han72

Hewo!

Just wanted to poke my nose in and say good luck!

Re the hole in your heart - could you not tell them that you need a LO to fill it and then it will definitely not be a problem 

Re adopting a black child - honey I see this all the time over here and you know what? It doesn't matter.  You are going to love that child with all of your heart and s/he will feel that and know that.  When s/he asks, why does s/he look different, the answer will simply be that s/he has special skin given to her as a gift from whichever diety you wish to name so that she is protected from the sun.  But....

Promise me you'll take him/her to a hairdresser that knows how to do black hair, it needs different care to caucasians' hair and you can always tell when the parents can't cope! Believe me, I always looked like a little black haystack cos my mum (who is my real mum and Jamaican, by the way!) couldn't do my hair properly - it was a source of much childhood angst for me!  Especially when she gave up and cropped it all off in an afro just after they'd gone out of fashion, I was mortified!  

Seriously though hon, you are an angel for doing what you are doing and I salute you and all prospective adoptive parents, regardless of where they or their children come from!

Love and  and  that it all goes beautifully smoothly for you!

Nix
xxx


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## Spaykay

Nix awwwww thanks so much for your message, you set a few tears flowing  . Ireally appreciate your advice and support. I'd already thought about the hair issue as I can't even look after my own hair! I've been on the internet looking at advice and they even show you little videos!   I think the hairdressers will be my best option though, although if we adopt a boy I guess it will be easier to care for their hair, until they see the cool hair dos that they can wear and then it'll be a trip to the hairdressers. I guess I'll need different types of shampoos too.   at the image of poor you going to school with an afro (sorry  )

As for their skin, they'll be at a real advantage (living in a country where it gets really sunny and hot) as I'm as white as a ghost and need a high factor cream and go brown so slowly that I never manage to get a tan, DH is already naturaly tanned and changes as soon as he sees the sun so daddy and DD/DS can have a good old laugh at mummy. I'm guessing they'll still need a high child factor cream in the sun, don't want to be one of those mummys who is guilty of burning their child in the sun  

I want to start ringing agencies just to find out about countries and ages and specifics, but DH says it's too early and have other things on his mind   oh well. He's prpbably right.

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

I only just saw this Kay


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## Spaykay

hi there lovely people...still no news (taps toes and twiddles thumbs)  

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

Hang on in there...........

Fab idea having this diary just especially for you and your exciting news


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## carole




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## Spaykay

you guys are making my diary far more interesting! 

kay xxx


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## Damelottie

​


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## Spaykay

Will write more when I can type but am currently screaming and crying with joy as have adoption courses in June! Just got call...can't believe it!

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

​


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## Spaykay

That's meeeee EM but I think I looked a bit more of a looney running around alone crying and shouting and trying to text messages (not like the little girl squeezing out fart hearts!) What will I be like when baby is put in my arms'?? (Hope I don't drop him/her!)

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Okay - I think I've calmed down a bit now although am totally excited and in 'can't believe it ' world...was so worried they weren't going to ring or accept us!

Okay...so phone rings







and I'm on the metro!







so obviously don't receive the call! Then at home (when I was on here!) my mobile bleeps a message. Loh and behold...it's a message from the adoption people telling is that we have our adoption courses on each Friday in June from 7 to 9 pm.







. I can't beleive that we only have 3 weeks until we start the courses (as the 1st is 6th June)...so I'm off to find myself a ticker now!

Not sure what will be covered on the courses...I'm hoping they give some info on the different countries available for adoption, coz although we're settled on Ethiopia, there may be another country that we haven't considered yet.

Now a short wait...hardly time to twiddle my thumbs.









Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

So exciting. We want full reports


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## Han72

Go for it hon, we're all rooting for you!

xxx


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## Spaykay

awwwww shucks   thanks

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Awwwwwww...I love you all! Thanks

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Hadn't thought about the coloured pens   Do you think it would make them consider me more for adoption   After the courses we will have to contact a private physcologist to do our studies (it costs more but is faster than the physcologists provided). We do not have LO over here in Spain, it's done through agencies etc. Not sure how long that will take, not too long I don't think. The time consuming part here is being allocated a child, that can take around 2 years after being accepted!

Kay xxx


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## carole

Yippee at good news kay


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## Spaykay

Am in bed with fever of 38   Got letter from the adoption place today but don't understand a word of it so just pressuming it's the legalities concerned with us starting the courses.

Kay xxx


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## Shabba

get well soon Kay   
Ask Emma, she might know what the letters about


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## Spaykay

I'm gonna start dating this diary...

29th May 2008

I called an agency yesterday just to find out if they were woking in Madrid. If they do then I have a choice of 3 that deal with Ethiopia. After my courses we have to decide upon a country in order for our social worker and phsycologist to interview us accordingly. What I don't know is if we need to know which agency we are going to go with by then. Anyhoooo....I have contacted 1 and they've called saying I'm on the list for an induction meeting on Monday at 2! I don't even know if it's too soon for that, but I'd like to go...think DH won't though. I guess only 1 will need to get the info...want to save any time off for when we really need it. I'll call them tomorrow to find out what it's about and if I need to go or if I can go to another soon...depending onm how often they do them. It's a new agency opening in Madrid so I guess it'll be good to get in there quick!

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

Ooooooooooooooooooooh


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## Shabba

Sounds like that ball is well and truely rolling now Kay   
Great news xx


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## ♥sparklequeen♥

*  Kay - only just seen this  Sorry babes 

Im so pleased everything is moving along nicely for you - i cant wait for you to be a mummy 

Lots and lots of love as always

Sparkles xx*


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## Spaykay

31st May 2008

I rang the agency and it is a chat to help couples decide on the county they are going to adopt from, and DH is going to come too 

It'll give us a clear idea of what we will expect through adopting in Ethipia so I'm excited about it!

Kay xxx


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## carole

Yay


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## Damelottie

And a YAY   from me too.

I can't find the farty heart thing


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## Shabba

And Me 3


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## Spaykay

2nd June 2008

Well, today we attended an information meeting at 1 of the 3 agencies that we will use if accepted for adoption. They basically just informed us of what we were to expect from adopting a child in Ethiopia. The only part I get stuck on is when they ask the question "Why Ethiopia?" Because my real answer is just because it feels right, no reason...but that's not really a very good answer.

Anyhow, they warned us that the children will be starving, in poor health (due to hunger) and will need close care from us...this I was expecting and will inform myself of before hand so that we can give them the care they need. They also warned that even when we have the photo, the courts can still give the child back to family so don't get excited until the courts have said YES! This I expected. Then they said that all children will have had a test for HIV/Aids and will be negative, but that a test on a child below the age of 18 months is not accurate, a negative can be positive. This I did not know. DH didn't seem worried which is great but I really need to infprm myself more about this as 1. I don't know what percentage of negatives are actually positive and 2. What support we could give a child who at 18 mjonths we then found to be positive and 3. What life expectancy etc. there is. This is obviously a very sensitive subject and something DH and I will have to look into deeply.

Apart from that, we now have 2 more agencies to talk to and the course on Friday.

Kay xxx


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## carole

Wow kay - the HIV thing is difficult - I wasn't aware that there could be "false" negative in a young child like that. I thought babies were often born HIV+ . Re why Ethiopia - couldn't you say that it is because it is one of the countries whose difficulties have been made public by media coverage, and you would like to adopt a child from there particularly because you know something of the political background, and you want to provide good healthcare and all the things that child was unable to have in his or her birth home .....as well as being brought up in a loving, stable, family.

Getting excited for you


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## Spaykay

One specific thing they do say on our courses is that we are not adopting to help the child as there are many many families who want to adopt but because we want a family which is tye truth and reason in our situation. Any reason towards political reasons etc. would go against us, but thanks hun

Kay xxx


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## carole

Oh well - when they say why Ethiopia, I would just say "Why not?"


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## Spaykay

Okay - I have googled arounf and the only info I can find on HIV in children is that up until 18 months they might get a false positive. This is because they still have their mothers antibodies in them which would show up on a test if their mother were HIV positive...but I've read nothing on false negatives so I wonder if the agency just got their information muddled?  

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Yeh, if I can find one I can trust and who knows there stuff.


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## Shabba

Kay, you sound like you already know your stuff hun cause I would have said what Carole said.
Surely if it feels right to adopt from Ethiopia and you want to have a family of your own, what other reason could they need 

I'm behind you all the way, you so deserve this and I am humbled by anyone who has the biggest heart to adopt, your an amazing woman  

S xx


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## Damelottie

Hi Kay

Have a look on internet for one of the hiv/aids charities and then 'e' mail them for some information. I'm wracking my anatomy and physiology brain here but I think it works like this...

When somebody contacts HIV, their body automatically produces antibodies. Its finding the antibodies that proves the HIV. So I think you're right - you could get a false postive but not a false negative.

I remember that BS well. You can't possibly say anything as horrifying as that you want to give a home to a child that needs it  . Good heavens no!!!   . Its beyond me really why saying 'because it feels right' isn't good enough because thats reality. Some things\people etc just DO feel right or wrong. You best play the game though - can you say you had a teacher from there or something? Or a family friend?

The HIV question can be quite difficult if you aren't really sure. It was one of the questions I had on my home study - would I consider a child with a potential life threatening illness. I suppose HIV could be classed as that couldn't it? I had some soul searching and then said no. Initially I thought 'but if it was my birth child I'd cope' and of course I would have done. But I felt that was different to entering into a situation where I _knew_ my child would die . I just didn't want to put myself or my family through that. But I thank god  that there are people who adopt under those circumstances. I just wasnt one of them.

I hope that hasn't offended you or sounded harsh. Its just my experience of it  and I wasn't sure how else to word it . I'll delete this post immediately if it has offended you

But...........

Its incredibly positive that you had the meeting     . Its the start........................

Big big   

Emma xx


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## kooks1

kay - i have only just seen this - sorry  

i am so pleased things are moving for you, but i dont have any advice re the HIV stuff - only you can decide what to do. whatever you decide we are all here to support you hun  

as for why ethiopia? i think your reason 'because it feels right' should be good enough hun - if it feels right then surely thats enough?  

good luck


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## Spaykay

3rd June 2008

Well, today I remembered that one of the mums at our school is a doctor and often works in Ethiopia, so, I've written her a letter asking if I can meet with her to discuss any worries I have. Hopefully, she'll make things clearer for us 

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

7th June 2008

Was too tired to write in here after the meeting yesterday. We had our 1st day of the course and I found it very interesting and helpful. It was just so lovely to be in a room full of people from whom you have nothing to hide and can speak freely infront of! I was a bit of a chatterbox because they asked for questions about fears that we may have that they can include on the course. Because noone was asking I decided to add mine....which actually aren't all really fears I have but I thought it would be interesting for them to tak about. So, I asked How do we handle a situation in the future when they're teenagers, angry and shout at us "You're not my real parents anyway, a situation that I think I'd be okay with but just thought it would be interesting to hear they're ideas. I asked about coping with illness and how to make the process of them knowing that they're adopted natural and easy. Even though it will be obvious that our child is adopted, we have always thought it important that they know fom the word go.

I'm trying to get DH to talk about the HIV question at the moment as his attitude is that it's very unlikely or that if I'm worried then we ask for a child older than 18 months or adopt from another country. However, I have explained to him that I want to discuss ideas, feelings and opinions instead of just saying yes or no...he seemed to understand that but I still haven't managed to sit and discuss with him, he's not much of a talker. Anyhow, I wonder how hard it is for a child of 18 months and above to adapt to a new country, culture and language? I don't think I'd mind an older child, but we haven't come to that decision yet.

Maybe I should just stop worrying about everything so much? It's giving me a headache and driving me around the bend!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

19th June 2008

After a dissappointing meeting last Friday (they focused on feelings of not having "natural" children and how adopting is not the same etc. etc.) I went to a 2 our long info meeting with my 2nd adoption agency. Although this agency was very serious and (as does everyone over here) reminded us that we are adopting because a child needs parents and it is purely this, not because they need help etc. and certainly NOT because we want children and all the problems that can occur etc. I found them very professional and they answered all my questions 1. I can move house when I want 2. DH can change jobs if he wants 3. My hole in th heart is not a problem and 4. The kids will have HIV tests Elisa (?) and PCR (? must google it!) and these tests are repeated.

They also got me thinking about adopting brothers/sisters. We could put down 0-4 (I need to ask about 0-3) and thge wait would be 9 months  aounds so short for the norm over here!!! And a kid 0-3 would be a 18 month to 2 year wait. I don't want time to affect my decision but I do want 2 and perhaps going through the process again when I could adopt a blood relative of the same race would help them settle. It's something DH and I will now discuss.

Kay xxx


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## carole

That's great news kay


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## Damelottie

Ooooh - exciting update Kay


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## ♥sparklequeen♥

*Ooooh, thats great news Kay - its not going to be long bfore you're a mummy 

Im just SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for you 

All my love as always

Sparkles xx*


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## Shabba

So glad you are getting great feedback from the meetings.
It must be a very emotional but exciting journey.

With you all the way babes

S xxx


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## Spaykay

5th July 2008

I wrote this yesterday and thgen lost it all  So here goes again!

Okay, well, we did our last course last week and got a lovely card certificate to show we'd attended, luckily they didn't have to give us a report or else I'm sure I would have got Good effort but talks too much 

The 1st day I could I rang to get our appointments with the social workers and psychologists. We could do it with the community of Madrid for free but the wait is about 12 months 







So we've gone privately which costs about 1000 euros in total but takes about 1 and a half months......so they said!







I call them up on the phone and they say " Well, you could start the day after tomorrow"







Then came the morning sickness (the adoption equivelant!)







I wasn't expecting to be able to start so fast







Anyhooooo...we have already booked our hols so can't do it this month anyway. DH is going to drop off the paper work a week on Tuesday and choose the SW and pyschologists, we hope to start 18th August when DH goes back to work. I'll still be on my hols so will be able to get the flat ready etc. Not that I can do much to it as it's so small. I feel more relaxed knowing we have a bit of time to just enjoy the sun







and then we can get down to business in a month. I'm sure the sickness will then come back.

Until then (well, I'll update when DH has got the dates set)









Kay xxx

P.S. I hope you like the smilies coz I'm trying to make my diary more interesting


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## carole




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## Damelottie

​


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## kooks1

[fly]*Fantastic News Kay!!!  * [/fly] 
PS i like your smilies


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## Shabba

I like the smilies too


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## ♥sparklequeen♥

* Sooo pleased for you hun  * ​


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## Spaykay

Tuesday 15th July 2008

What an eventful day...I met my Sparkly thread fertility friends today and had a lovely time  Also, this morning DH went to the physcologists and social workers this morning, chose 2 names and so we are awaiting our call in August for the interviews!







Better add that to my tockers at the bottom (oops, I mean tickers!)

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

Thursday 17th July

Well, after being tod at the end of June (27th to be accurate) that it would take 1 and a half months to get our appointments for the physco-social interviews, our 1st interview is..............a week today!







How did that happen so quickly? I'm pooping myself now!!! At the end of August they will come to visit the flat cause we're on holiday between then...by the time I go back to work it'll all be over!

Kay xxx


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## carole

Wow Kay that's great news !


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## kooks1

fab news hun


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## Damelottie

*Go Kayay Go Kayay  *


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## Shabba

Fan - bl00dy - tastic


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## ♥sparklequeen♥

*Fantastic news hun, dont panic - it'll be fine 

SO pleased its all moving along for you hun  xxxx*


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## Spaykay

Friday 18th July

Okay...1st physcologists interview is August 6th!  OMG!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

25th July 2008

Off to Menorca today...but with homework to do!!! Our SW interview went well yesterday (I think) and she will visit the flat on 19th August. Only problem she saw was that I had 'hole in my heart' on my medical form...my own fault as when she asked why the doctor had put it down if it's not a problem and I said that it was because I asked him too...she said that I should get another form done with what the doctor thinks needs to go on...but he's on holiday now so have to find another one before 7th Aug  with the physco (we changed the date by one day...hope that's okay  She thought that all would be okay but that they may not understand when translated for Ethiopia that it's not a problem and may send me for medical checks etc. which will cause delays...and I'd hate to be rejected for something that should never have gone on there in the 1st place...I'm so stupid 

Kay xxx


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## Shabba

You're not stupid hun    just wanted to make sure they had all the info, theres nothing worse than them coming back to you if you havent added all the relevant info. Now you know it doesnt need to be on there, then it can be removed.

Have a lovely time in Menorca


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## Spaykay

29th July 2008

Got another doc to do me a new medical form, phew! SW said there will be no prob...I love that she emails vack so quickly...I think she's got the idea from somewhere that I'm a bit of a panicker 

Kay xxx


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## Han72

Nice one Kay, glad you got that one sorted out!  

xxx


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## Damelottie

Good news Kay  .

I was worried about you - you disappeared


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## Spaykay

1st August 2008...pinch punch 1st day of the month!

I went to Menorca Em  Back now and monthly spendings sent off to the SW. Hope we don't spend too much!  She says that with 30 euros left over a month you can't have a child...we have a bit more than that. But we did say that I would give up my job if we have a child...and that would leave us with 0 euros a month ...we'll work that one out when it comes!

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

HUn - we'll be destitute together. I've worked out if I have to work part-time my bank account will go overdrawn by approx £600 each month. Thats a comforting thought


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## Spaykay

7th August 2008

YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 1st phsycologist interview over and she said we were lovely and would only need to do the basic interviews and that unless something REEEEEEEEAAALY bad pops out then she will be recommening us!

[fly]            [/fly]

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie




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## carole

Hooray   Well done Kay and DH


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## Shabba

Fantastic news      (always looking for an excuse to use the monkey    )


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## BESTY

Kay - Fantastic news. We cycled together last November and I am so pleased to read your news. Will be following your story. Hugs Bestyxxxxxxx


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## Spaykay

Monday 18th August

Phew







phscyo interviews done and dusted!







Now just the SW visit tomorrow. They hope to get us approved by mid Sept, I can wait until then as I originally thought that's when we'd be starting the interviews! WAHEY!









Kay xxx


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## Damelottie




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## Shabba

look at the dancing animals  
They are dancing just like me, great news Kay xx


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## Spaykay

Tuesday 19th August

SW visit over...she thought the flat was lovely and I held back from pointing out any dangers that I would mention if I were a SW  Anyhoo, we have a visitors book for people who come to the flat and DH got her to sign it  (he's a very confident man!) I was panicking a bit incase she didn't like us (even though I was sure she did!)....and here is what she wrote:

Ha sido un placer conoceros. En este momento tan especial en vuestras vidas. Ya se que en menos de 20 dias esteis "embarazados ideoneamente". Felicidades por vuestra próxima paternidad/maternidad adoptiva. Con Cariño......

What do you reckon to that then!  Ok, in English it more or less means:

It's been a pleasure to meet you. In this special moment of your lives. I now know that in less than 20 days you will be "idealistically (for adoption) pregnant". Congratulatiohns for you upcoming adoptive parenthood. With love.....

YAHOOOOOOOOOOEYYYYYYY! No time for dances coz have to go tell everyone!  Gonna convince DH to open that 6 year old bottle of champagne that's been waiting for a special moment!

Kay xxx


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## carole

Congratulations kay and Senor kay


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## crusoe

Fantastic news Kay     

What a lovely comment!!! and what is more amazing even with my terrible Spanish I could work out some of it!

Really pleased for you.

Besos  

Crusoe
xxx


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## Shabba

Wooooooooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooooo
What a visit, you both must be on cloud 9 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantastic, although I knew they'd love you   

Love the new title


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## kitten1

Woohoo!!

Go Kay!!


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## Damelottie

Soooo happy for you Kay.

That made me   . What a lovely thing to write in the book.


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## noodlez

Made up for you hun. You really deserve it


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## Tina xx

Kay & Mr Kay

​
I'm so happy for you both       

Tina xx


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## wishing4miracle

yay well done lovey.been waiting for your news    

hayley


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## kooks1

yipeee - fab news hun i am dead excited for you


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## Spaykay

I love you
Although I've never met you,
You mean more to me than anything
Yet I still don't know your face.
I would die for you
However, you may not yet be born.
You're all I've hoped and dreamed for, 
Child of mine.


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## carole

and


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## noodlez

Oh Kay     that was lovely!


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## ebonie

Im sorry i am late saying it but have only now read ur update



I have been reading ur diary silently  thats fab news lots of love emma xxx

And i love that poem so true


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## Spaykay

30th August 2008

Thank you for your lovely messages!  Our sw and physc met on Thurs and I'm not sure if they send the papers or what. I thought they might call yesterday but they didn't.  Not worried though as I know they've both said yes. Just want to get my name on the waiting list. I wonder if my baby has been born yet. I'm starting an album of thoughts, photos etc. so that we can share our journey with them and let them know what we were doing when they were born.

Kay xxx


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## Shabba

What a lovely idea Kay   they'll know they're wanted from the very start   
What a magical thing to be given when you're older, that baby will be so lucky to have you as a mum


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## Damelottie

Hiya Kay

                   

Is that is then? No more assessments/meetings?


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## Tina xx

Awwww Kay, they is such a lovely thing to do hun     You are going to be a great mum    Hope you hear something soon


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## Spaykay

Yup Em, that's it!   We just wait for the papers and choose an adoption agency and then wait.....and wait......and wait......

Kay xxx

......and wait.


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## Damelottie

Kay - that is just BRILLIANT compared to our ridiculous drawn out process       

OMG - You might not be waiting that long, you never know


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## Spaykay

1st September 2008 - pinch punch 1st day of the month again.

Well, got a call from Luisa the psychologist. We go on Friday 12th September at 3.15 p.m. to collect our approval papers YAY!  BUT we then have to take it to Madrid council/town hall place to get it stamped, which I think takes about 1 month BOO!  I guess after that we then contact the adoption agency. I have a horrid feeling that the stamping and getting it to the agency takes about 6 months, but I hope I'm just imagining that...must ask my mate... 

Kay xxx


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## Tina xx

Kay, that's fantastic news hun, hope you don't have to wait that long


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## Damelottie




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## Han72

Kay honey

that is just such a fantastic fab idea so that the little one will know how much s/he is wanted!  I hope the stamping process doesn't really take that long hon - fingers crossed!      

xxx


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## Spaykay

YAWWWWWN! 12th Sept 2008

Went to pick up the paperwork today...we have to give it to the community of Madrid to analyse and then THEY approve us (after about 1 and a half months) BUT there are mistakes on both sets of paperwork like my date of birth  and the fact that my brother is older than me not younger  and that I had a Catholic wedding  far from it, we married in Gibraltor town hall  Oh well. We have been told that we're super mega suitable (in those words but in Spanish! )

Kay xxx


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## Milly40

*Kay-* *just found your thread....I loved your poem    it made me cry......with happiness for you and your DH..... 

good luck.....

love and hugs Milly xxx*


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## mayve

Hi Kay! 

I'm sure you and your DH are way above and beyond just "super mega suitable"       


Rooting for you!!!!!!!!!


big hug-
mayve


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## NuttyJo

kay ive only just seen this - its been ages since we 'spoke' on the adoption virgins thread but im so excited to see your news!

​
love jo xxx

p.s.. hope the waits not too long xxx


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## Damelottie

WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE COMMUNITY OF MADRID?

PLease explain quickly because at the moment I have visions of them posting your report on a lampost for people to read and then approve or not


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## Spaykay

yup, that's it Em! Nah, it's like the town hall I suppose, the important people who make decisions in Madrid? NOt sure really, it's a building with important people.

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

PHEW!! Very pleased to hear it hun. As long as its not some free for all


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## Spaykay

16th September 2008

Okay...the sw will have our corrections done and on the table by Thursday and we hope the physc will have them too soon! not heard off her at all but DH seems confident we will!  (I wish they had a tearing your hair out symbol on here!). Anyhow, hopefully by Monday we'll be handing the papers over, waiting 1 and a half months for our stamp of aproval and on the list for adoption (apparantley 1 year to 1 and a half, but I'm gonna think 2 years just to be safe!)

Ta ta for now

Kay xxx


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## carole

Here you go Kay


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## Spaykay

thanks Carole!

Kay xxx


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## Spaykay

20th September 2008

Well, we've got all the paper work together at last  so DH will take it all into the correct place on Monday. Then we should hear back to say if we've been approved by November I guess. Had to photocopy everything twice and the lady at the photocopy shop was rubbish!  All done now though, I hope!

Kay xxx


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## carole




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## Damelottie

​


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## kitten1

Getting there, slowly but surely huni!!

You'll make a fabby forever mummy!! I've seen you with C and his exploding nappy.................................


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## LoisLane

Fab news Kay, seems to be coming along nicely hon woo hoo!

Louj


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## Tina xx

That's fab news hun


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## Spaykay

Wednesday 8th October

Well  to all that jumoping for joy. They've rung us to say that because I'm British they need a paper saying that Britain has an agreement with Ethiopia for adoption. They were very nice about it but noone else I've spoken to has had to have that and I don't even know if it exhists! Well, I'll fins out tomorrow as off to the British consutlate. Opens at 8.30 am so hopefully they'll be able to help!!! 

Kay xxx


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## Han72

Hi Kay

I just did a quick google on this but it's not v helpful is it cos it all seems to relate to US citizens, not UK. However I get the distinct impression that it is certain agencies that are referenced as opposed to entire countries. Have a look at this: (from http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/country/country_380.html)

THE HAGUE CONVENTION ON INTERCOUNTRY ADOPTION:

Ethiopia is not a party to the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption (the Convention).

PLEASE NOTE: There are several U.S.-based adoption agencies authorized by the Government of Ethiopia to provide adoption services, and several others pending accreditation.

Ethiopia requires post placement reports on Ethiopian orphans at 3 months, 6 months, and one year after the adoption. Yearly reports until the child turns 18 are also required. Please review the Documentary Requirements below for more information.

_* ADOPTION AUTHORITY IN ETHIOPIA : The government office responsible for adoptions in Ethiopia is the Adoption Team in the Children and Youth Affairs Office (CYAO), which is under the Ministry of Women's Affairs (MOWA). The head of the Adoption Team can be reached at (251)-11-416-6354 or Fax: 251 11 416 6362 to request information about approved orphanages caring for children in need of permanent family placements through international adoption. * _

ELIGIBILITY TO ADOPT: The Ethiopian government prefers to place children with married couples who have been married for at least five years. In general, single persons under age 25 may not adopt, nor may openly gay or lesbian individuals or couples. However, the Ethiopian government has occasionally approved cases involving persons in all of these categories.

There is no statutory maximum age limit on the adoptive parent. However, Ethiopian practice is to limit the age of the parent to no more than 40 years greater than that of the adopted child.

RESIDENCY REQUIREMENTS: There are no residency requirements for prospective adoptive parents.

TIME FRAME: Adoption agencies will advise adoptive parents approximately how long an adoption can take. Recent adoptions have taken between 6 and 24 months.

Once the Ethiopian adoption process has been completed, it normally takes about an hour to apply for an immigrant visa for an adopted child for families working through approved adoption agencies. Approved visas are typically picked up by the agencies the following morning. It may take months for private adopters, depending on the completeness of the application and the need for follow-up investigations.

ADOPTION AGENCIES AND ATTORNEYS: The U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa confirms that there are several American adoption agencies known to have bona fide licenses to facilitate international adoptions from Ethiopia to the United States . The Department of State is aware that there are American and foreign adoption agencies and individuals, located in both countries, who claim they can assist with adoptions in Ethiopia . Few orphanages are licensed to care for children in need of a permanent family placement through international adoption.

_*MOWA has a list of adoption agencies authorized to provide adoption services.*_
Prospective adoptive parents are advised to fully research any adoption agency or facilitator they plan to use for adoption services. For U.S.-based agencies, it is suggested that prospective adoptive parents contact the Better Business Bureau and/or the licensing authority in the U.S. state where the agency is located or licensed. Please also see Important Notice Regarding Adoption Agents and Facilitators at the Department of State, Bureau of Consular Affairs web site travel.state.gov.

Hope this helps hon!

xxx


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## Spaykay

Awww thanks for that!   i too noticed that it is mainly about US and I too thought it was to do with agencies. Oh well, I'll see tomorrow, if not I'll just have to fight it out with them  

Kay xxx


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## Han72

YEAH!  Go Kay, give 'em what for!!!  Seems ridiculous them asking you for this anyway, I mean you're a Spanish resident now aren't you?  And shouldn't it be the same across all EU member states?  I'd chuck that one at them if I were you, just act like you're some hot-shot European law expert and scare them into sorting it out!  and  to ya babes
xxx


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## Spaykay

9th October 2008

There's no agreement between Britain and Ethiopia so they can't give me the necessary certificate  However, there's a paper (that's out of date) explaining that no agreement is needed coz I live in Spain...so the nice lady at the consulate is going to email London and see if this still stands and get an updated one for meeee  Trying not to panic, but hard. I feel like I did when I had the miscarriage, that my baby is being taken away before my very eyes...but with this there's no flowers, time of for being sad or sympathy from anyone, I just have to get on with it. 

Oh yeh, and Madonna's hubby is British and he adopted from Ethiopia, so you must be able to get around this no?

A sad feeling Kay

xxx


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## BESTY

kay- keeping everything crossed for you. You are so strong and determined, I am sure you will find a way to make this work. Hugs       and lots and lots of        Bestyxxx


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## Camly

hiya kay

dont have any advice unfortunately but just wanted to send you a massive  

keep us posted.

lots of love camly  x x x x x


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## carole

Sorry about the mad pic 

If Guy Ritchie can do it, Spaykay can do it


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## Tina xx

I agree with Carole,    Good luck hun       I've got everything crossed that you get some good news really soon      

XXXXXXX


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## Han72

Kay honey

this is just typical European Union  covering! They are b*ggers for paperwork! It will be absolutely fine hon, I am 1000% convinced of it.  Stay     and your Ethiopian baba will be with you before you know it!    
xxx


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## Shabba

I KNOW this will all be ok, cause you're meant to be a mummy.
   hang in there babes


S xx


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## Spaykay

Monday 13th October

Received a phone call from the British consulate today so I got all excited...but...it was just someone more official to repeat the same stuff. They cannot understand why Spain are asking for this certificate as it DOES NOT EXHIST and IS NOT NECESSARY. Because I'm married to a Spaniard and the child would this qualify for Spanish nationality...it's not needed! The only think that exhists is for single British women or British couples.  So, she's sent me that and I'm getting DH on the case. If they need me to do that then I have to declare myself a non UK resident infront of a lawyer over here to get that paper, this is absolutely rediculous! I'M MARRIED TO A SPANIARD! Just shouting incase they can hear me! 

Kay xxx


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## Shabba

Red tape     its all sent to try us hun, get dh onto it while you have a nice soak in the bath xx


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## Han72

Aaaaargh!  I KNEW it!  Idiots   !  Hopefully your DH will  them into submission!  Good luck hon!

xxx


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## Spaykay

Tuesday 14th October

Well  after all that shouting  I do need a certificate after all  Just can't seem to find out which one!  If only I knew, oit would be easy! 

The case is: 5 months ago a Bristish women/Spanish husband went to Ethiopia to pick up their baby and weren't allowed to leave the country  until they had this certificate. It's the woman's nationality that counts as that's the nationality the child takes   Soooooooo.......trying to find out what special paper I need, then pay 34 euros and Bob's my uncle (I do actually have an uncle Bob!) But....I spoke to a single Bristish woman over here who's done it, so although difficult, it IS possible. Ho hum!

Kay xxx


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## BESTY

More trials to get through but you will do it. Looking forward to the day you tell us you are through all this. Hugs and lots and lots of good wishes. Bestyxx


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## Tina xx

Hi Kay, good luck hun   Hope you get the certifcate sorted soon   Like you have said, it is possible


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## Shabba

At least now you know for definate you need it, although it doesnt help when your not getting the right info when you need it  
Can the woman you spoke to point you in the right direction ??
Hope so
Sharon x


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## Han72

Oh FFS! I've never seen a case where the adopted child takes the mother's nationality but trust the Ethiopians to turn it all on it's head!  Amazing that the Brit consulate couldn't tell you this though, surely it's their job to know this stuff? Oh well at least you've got info from someone whos been through it!  So do you know which authority needs to issue this certificate then?  
xxx


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## Spaykay

Wednesday 15th October

Phew...iac have told me which paper I need...just need to contact a lawyer and declare myself non UK resident now!!!

Kay xxx


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## Han72

You're getting there hon, closer to your baba every single day!


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## Cotswold Girl

Kay - hang in there. Although it's another hurdle you will be one step closer. Glad you know it's possible and what paperwork you need.  

CG xxx


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## Spaykay

Wednesday 22nd October

Okay, spoke to a lawyer who said we need a notary to do a sworn affadivit to say I'm a non UK resident, so phoned a notary who said "How do I know you're not a UK resident? What papers do you need to show me to prove this?" SO:

...to get my approval papers I need....A letter of no objection....to get the letter of no objection I need....a sworn affidavit that I'm a non UK resident...to get the sworn affidavit that I'm a non UK resident I need......WHO KNOWS! 

Kay xxx


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## Tina xx

Kay    Sorry they are giving you the run-around. Hope you find someone that can help you


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## carole

Kay - I think you just need to make a sworn statement that you are a non-UK resident, and have this witnessed by the notary  (I am a lawyer, but don't tell anyone  )


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## Han72

Yeah hon I think Carole's right, If you go to the notary with some form of proof of address - Utility bill? Bank statement? And then make the statement and sign it in front of the notary surely that should do it?  

Why is everyone so damn unhelpful?!  I spose it's almost a relief to know it's not just the French who seem to take perverse pleasure in being as obstructive as possible, but bloody hell!!!

xxx


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## Spaykay

Wednesday 22nd October

You are both right. The Bristish consulate will watch me swear  infront of them. But 1st I have to seek a lawyers advice, about what, I'm unsure  I guess they tell me what to write in the letter swearing that I don't live in the UK...but there's a difference between not living or working in the UK to being a non-resident...what that difference is...I don't know!  I'm sure someone will find all this mess in my diary helpful in the future! 

Kay xxx


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## Damelottie

Good lord


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## Spaykay

Friday 24th October

Well, after swearing on the bible (useful as I'm not really a believer!!!) and paying 67 euros and wished luck at the British Consulate, lady then said "OH, that's what you need, oh, no, you need a lawyer for that!"   SOOOOOOOOO after nearly  I spoke to a lady who had originally emailed me the info and she rang a lawyer for me who is English and has an adopted daughter from India. He signed my papers and also knows the head of my secondary school and he gave me his card and said "Whenever you need me". Awwww, and all for 60 euros! Bargain!  He wa also very lovely (as in kind!) Soooo...will hand in form on Wed morning and hopefully get my 'Letter of no objection' to hand into the Madrid people and hopefully then get approved! PHEW!

Kay xxx


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## Han72

WOOHOOOO!!  Aww bless that guy for being so helpful!

xxx


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## Damelottie




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## Spaykay

Hello

Just as I managed to get the lawyers paper, I had an unexpected successful treatment and am now pregnant. THe adoption process is now on hold, but we have every intention of adopting in the future. Thank you all for your support and good luck with your continued journeys.

Kay xxx


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