# Did termination make me infertile?



## fallen angel (Dec 6, 2006)

Firstly I would like to apologise to anybody reading this who might find it offensive as i talk about my experience.Well here goes....

In March 2001 I discovered that my then partner was a Schedule One offender, aka a paedophile. I subsequently ended this relationship as I had a 2 year old ds at the time (from previous relationship) but then in the may I discovered I was pregnant . I was in alot of turmoil at this time as i am strongly against abortion but obviously I did not want to have a child with a paedophile for its father. Therefore with alot of persuasion, some could call it bullying, from my family and social services, I decided to have a termination, this was when I was 9 weeks pregnant.

I was told after the procedure that all had gone well and I physically recovered within a couple of days.

In September 2002 I got back together with my ds father ( NOT the paedophile) and we decided to try for another baby, however after 2 years of ttc nothing happened, although I was not really too concerned about it at that time as our relationship was going downhill, and not long after we seperated, in August 2004.

I met my current dh in february 2005 and we decided to start ttc in June 2005, and to date I have still not conceived. The point to my story is that i am now beginning to wonder if the termination I had in 2001 has affected my fertility as I have never been able to conceive since that time, and I was very fertile before this time ( 2 m/c 1 live birth).
Alot of people I have voiced this concern to, including a counsellor all think that these beliefs are related to feelings of guilt surrounding the termination, but although I do have alot of regrets and feelings of guilt, my biggest fear at the moment is that I may have lost all hope of ever having another child because I had that termination. I would be grateful to hear your opinions on this subject, as I just dont know what to think at the moment, my head is all over the place. Also has anyone else gone through the same thing as I have?
Thankyou for taking the time to trawl through this essay, and my apologies once again if my story has upset anybody, it is extremely unintentional, thankyou again, regards Caroline x x x


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## x shye x (Jan 24, 2006)

Hi caroline,

Sorry your feeling so low hunny it must be awful having to stress and worry and even blame yourself for your infertility.  I don't think your ever really get the answer your looking for and that don't help cause we all want answers but sometimes its not possible or its best left alone.

U did wat was best for u and your boy at that time and u should never blame or punish yourself for that and i think your very brave to go through that on your own. Sorry i cant really be loads of help but i would suggest to u that u don't think about the past and live for the future and the baby u want.

Would u really want to know if the termination was the reason, it would only make u feel 10 times worse and so try and put that to the back and see it as something u had to do at that time in your life.

Good luck and stay strong      

Love shyexxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi caroline 

I'm am so sorry to hear all you've been through but it appears to me that you must be one strong lady so you need to be very proud of yourself  

Please please don't blame yourself hun.  I seriously don't believe that a termination has caused your problems with conceiving.  Obviously I don't know your complete medical history and I'm not medically qualified...but I have had a termination so can empathise with some of what you're feeling.  I won't go into the full details but I was 21 & it was a complete shock as been told at 19 I'd never conceive as my endometriosis & adhesions was so bad.  It wasnt a good time for me for various reasons and despite it being the right decision at the time, it was also probably one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make.  Anyway, I didn't start ttc until I was 34 and we've conceived at least twice naturally but sadly ended in early mc...and also had 1 chemical pg with first FET and a possible chemical pg with our 2nd FET...so although not managed to sustain a pg we have conceived irrespective of having a termination 16 years ago.  I actually have other problems effecting implantation (endo, bicornuate uterus, blood clotting and immune problems).

I can understand why you feel the way you do...and dont get me wrong, I do have many times where I beat myself up and feel guilty about the termination...and wonder was it my only chance...BUT then when I'm thinking realistically, I know this isn't the cause of my fertility problems and I also know, deep down, that it wasnt my only chance and we will have a baby.  Remember there are 1000's of women who have had a termination, some more than 1, and have gone on to conceive again successfully...I have at least 3 friends who have had a termination and all have happy and healthy children now.

You've been through so much hun and stress can have a major influence on fertility - stress actually raises our prolatin levels.  Prolactin stimulates milk production when pregnant and suppresses ovulation (eg when breastfeeding you don't ovulate)...so if Prolactin is raised through stress then this can cause problems with ovulation.

Also, it can take a perfectly healthy couple a year, sometimes up to 2 years, to conceive...there is only a 20% chance each month.

Have you had any tests done by your GP or been referred to a fertility consultant ?  If not, then perhaps see if you can get a progesterone blood test done to check you're ovulating - usually done cycle day 21 but ideally should be tested 7 days past ovulation.  Also get FSH & LH tested - these check ovarian reserve and any possibility of PCOS - tested between cd2-5.  Other blood tests are oestradiol (oestrogen), thyroid and prolactin.

Wishing you lots of luck...  
Take care

Natasha


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## fallen angel (Dec 6, 2006)

Hi and thanks for your responses, 
My word, minxy you really have been through the mill havent you, I hope things eventually work out for you, and thankyou so much for your words of support, it means alot to me, I've had cd 21 and cd2 -5 tests done but i am not sure what they came back as, as I havent been told but I think it must have been normal if I wasn't told otherwise. We have our first appointment with consultant on 9 th January so I'm psyching myself up for that, hopefully it will be good news, but I will keep you posted with my progress, thanks once again, lots of   and     to you, take care hun love Caroline x x x


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