# Fertility Envy Story



## Bubblicious (Jul 8, 2010)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2214264/Fertility-envy-Pregnancy-ruined-friendships-Ateh-Jewel.html

/links


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## NatalieP (Mar 5, 2011)

It's interesting to see a pregnant woman's perspective on what she goes through with infertile friends. I remember when my best friend told me she was pregnant I was so so sad I hung up the phone after choking out congratulations then I sat down and cried my heart out. 

I know when she was pregnant she felt very alone, afraid and just wanted me to be there for her and it was hard so hard but she needed someone and when I was having a bad day she understood. I was jealous of her, very jealous and angry that she had this accidental pregnancy while I was trying so hard to get pregnant and wasn't succeeding. This wasn't her fault and I couldn't take it out on her, not been able to conceive shouldn't impact on her pregnancy. 

I cried a lot when I saw her growing bump, when I felt the baby move and once she had given birth and I meet Jacob for the first time I just held him and sobbed and she left me too it knowing this was something I needed to get out of my system. And the days she was feeling the baby blues I let her sob it hurt it really did but it wasn't and isn't her fault I can't conceive naturally. 

And I know it's hard but we have to try and remember that when our friends and relatives are pregnant it's scary for them especially the first time. We should try and support them and it's ok that we are sad and jealous, talk to them tell them that I did and it helped our friendship so much to be honest. I know have a beautiful Godson and I love him so much. I still feel jealous and sad but I am bless with a gorgeous Godson and one hell of a best friend.  

xxx


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Its such a hard thing!! I feel sorry for the ladies friend more then anything. 

Being that I have been through 11 years of trying for a baby, I remember what it was like to get that news from friends and family. I got a call from a cousin to tell me she was 12 weeks pregnant and I just cried while on the phone for her, its a horrible feeling getting that news. I felt guilty and an awful person. 

I do think a that if you have suffered any form of infertility that being with a pregnant friend is hard, you want to be happy but there is always a feeling of jealousy and unfairness. 
I have a group of friends we all have had fertility problems infact all of us have had IVF, and last year every single one of them had a baby or were pregnant dont get me wrong I was happy that were happy but I just couldnt bring myself to go to a meet up with them all. Because I knew that it would be baby/pregnancy chat and I just couldnt bring myself to go because it hurt to much, I know they knew why I wasnt there. I had had 5 cycles of IVF, 2 mc's and was going no where in relation trying again.      

I am now pregnant through some miracle, I feel so lucky and happy.... But a women at Uni annoyed her pregnancy yesterday and I felt a little prang in my heart? I didnt think it would still be there, but it is. 

In the end as has been said by NatalieP, we can help if our friends are fertile and we have a hard time with IVF and things. 

If I had never had infertility I wouldnt feel like this, I would be like my cousin who annoyed her pregnancy to me the day we got a BFN on our second IVF after I had told her so! Not a care in the world.  

N xxx


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## sweetcupcake (Jul 29, 2012)

Great read & thanks for the honest stories ladies. It's nice to know that theres nothing wrong with me lol
I recently found out that a close friend is preg (by accident) through social network site. I was very upset for a while, but after the initial shock and strange feelings of jealousy/anger and depression. I came around to be happy for her.
When I saw her a few days later I was excited for her & happy to talk about her pregnancy and actually told her about our fertility journey which she was unaware of, so we had alot to talk about and it was nice to share. I saw her the week before and she said that she wanted to tell me then that she was preg (in person) but was waiting for the scan as she had been bleeding.
I am so glad really that she didn't tell me in person, I'm unsure as to how I would have reacted.

I think pregnancy is a scary thing and if i ever do become pregnant (fingers crossed) I think I will be scared too. So I feel its nice for her to beable to talk to me about it as we are both going through scary and life changing times, be it, being pregnant or infertile.
It's nice to see that other felt the same as me though


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