# Fed up and frustrated



## lexiecat (Jun 13, 2011)

Hi girls

This is going to be a bit of a rant, i'm sorry. I'm so fed up. We've been ttc for almost 2 years now and i'm so low. I just can't stay positive. All tests so far absolutely fine. Was reffered for a laparoscopy to check for endo in December, still haven't even had the appointment letter. I'm just so desperate to get on the treatment list!

It sounds completey bonkers and i really don't mean to offend anyone but the fact that nothing appears to be wrong is making it worse! I'm 100% blaming myself on being totally stressed/anxious all round ovulation time and after doing the deed, that somehow i'm stopping myself getting pregant. I've tried accupuncutre and counselling  but nothing helps. My doc has even put me on an antidepressent, and that dosen't help either.

i honestly wish sometimes i didn't even want kids. This is just ruining my life.

I'm so sorry to rant, i just wanted this off my chest.  My hubbie is supportive but i don't think he really understand how truly wound up and anxious I get.

pouring a big glass of pinot now 

Why is life so unfair?
x


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## the_tempress89 (Oct 19, 2011)

hello lexiecat,

i didnt want to read and run, i know exactly how you feel,. im currently waiting for an appointment to get my tests done and as every day goes by it seems to get steadily worse, sometimes there are good days but it seems to be few and far between. your not alone in how you feel so many if not all the women on here have some idea of what ur going through, i havent really found a way to deal with the stress yet but i have found that every now and again for one cycle my dp and i dont try it leaves us refreshed and ready to start trying again. try not too think on it too much, keep yourself and your mind busy with other things and dont loose the fun of the bd. loosing enjoyment in it is a big factor in all the stress.

i hope you get some answers soon and maybe even that bfp!!

love and babydust xxx


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## button butterfly (Feb 9, 2009)

Lexicat


You are so right when you say life is cruel!!!  It hurts so much when people speak about how easy they fell pregnant etc oh and offer their advice on getting pregnant.  No one can understand how you are feeling even though you can try and explain it in such detail.  I remember being at your stage and still do at times.  What you are going through is normal.  The anger and frustration is so hard to get over (infact if I can be honest I didnt really swear that much until I started trying then i quite easily use the F words within sentences - my excuse is Anger   ) I am not trying to in anyway to make you feel any better cause I know that what you have written is exactly how and I still do feel.  The unexplained diagnosis is a horrid bracket to be in and so I have always blamed myself.  Stress has alot to answer to and as for the ovulation kits it totally takes away the romantic way of so called conceiving.  I really do hope you get your laparoscopy date in soon so that you know that there is the next step on its way.  Big hugs to you and feel free to rant on here again cause I will read and post as will others 


          


Button


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## hilly35 (Feb 14, 2012)

Lexicat, I completely get where you are coming from. Me and dh are completely unexplained too - no issues found and I know how mental this sounds but I genuinely wanted there to be a diagnosis as I felt there is something that can be focused on and "treated" - rather than all this unknown business. But I am a little ahead of you and we are now in treatment and it will come round for you too. But the frustration of waiting is just so hard. Feel free to rant whenever you need - the fab thing about this place is everyone gets you! Hope 
Your appt comes through soon. Thinking of you x


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## lexiecat (Jun 13, 2011)

Hi Girls

apologies for late reply. Thank you so so much for your responses. Some of the sentences you have written.. i could have written myself! I guess it proves we are all in the same boat.

I just feel so sad as we were so excited when we first started trying for a baby.. and it's just turned into a total nightmare for us. I think your idea of a little break is def what we need the_temptress. I have 2 more rounds of clomid to go so don't want to take a break just yet, but i don't want to be put on any more. I've had 5 rounds of it so far and all it's done is given me a massive appetite.. and made me put on weight, which is def the last thing I need!

Hugs and best wishes for that day when we'll all get our BFP's and it's all been worth it 

xx


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