# New and in shock ~



## Ali88 (Oct 15, 2007)

Hi - I am new to this as we just found out that my hubby has low sperm motility. We have been trying to conceive for a year and a half so at least we now know why we haven't managed. Don't know why i am writing this but i just feel so awful and low and i can't seem to find a way around it all at the moment and it helps to know there are people out there who understand. It is all so painful and I can't seem to concentrate on or think about anything else - it is as if my whole world has just fallen apart around my ears - guessing that if you are reading this you have been there and know what i am talking about. 
We are both really confused about why this is happening and what to do etc and our GP isn't the most helpful. He told us that because my husband has 2 kids already from a previous marriage (and yes to add to all, coming to terms with having 2 step children who I love dearly hasn't been the easiest of emotional journeys (!) - but I had always dreamed of having kids of our own) -anyhow because of this we aren't entitled to fertility treatment on the NHS, not even an initial consultation. I am aware that we aren't entitled to treatment on the NHS because of this, but I thought everyone was entitled to one consultation on the NHS regardless - I am wondering if my GP got that right or just fobbed us off by telling us to go to a private clinic. Does anyone know about this? Would be grateful for any advice.
Meanwhile we have booked to have an initial consultation at a local private fertility clinic to see what our options are - feeling nervous and unsure. 
That's about all for now - just wanted to introduce myself and express how I am feeling. Thanks for 'listening'!
Ali


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## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

& Welcome to FF  Ali  
 I am glad youve been able to post here on FF and share your sadness,it is a terrible shock when your first diagnosed as needing fertility treatment to concieve I am sure there is much we can do here to help you in your journey to becoming a parent in your own right 
I'm not sure on the NHS consult but I am sure if you look up your home town/nearest hospital/clinic you should find some answers, meanwhile 
I am going to leave you some direct links to boards here on FF - that you may or may not have found,
I encourage you to post in these areas to build friendships and support from members who really do have an understanding of your situation,

Starting out & Diagnosis ~
CLICK HERE

Meanings ~
CLICK HERE

FAQ ~
CLICK HERE

*Dealing with Step children & TTC ~*
CLICK HERE
*
Male factors ~*
CLICK HERE

G&B  Community board
CLICK HERE

To make the site easier to navigate click on the index tab at the top of any page - pink hearts mean there is something new within the board you have not read/looked at and if you scroll right down you will see the last ten posts from all over FF all are clickable  if you refresh this page (f5) it will update the last ten posts as well as the boards/threads and who's online!!!
take some time to look at the *help tab* too 

Check out the *Locations boards* for your home town & a site search for your *clinic* 

Wishing you Friendship  &    


If you need any help just ask!
~Dizzi~


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## Ali88 (Oct 15, 2007)

Thanks Dizzi - really appreciate your understanding and help.

Take care,
Ali


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## bib (Apr 17, 2007)

Hi Ali  

Aww hun, it is such a shock when you get someone who confirms what you think deep down but don't want to hear    I can totally understand where you are coming from on that front and I would imagine everyone here will too.

The one thing yo can be sure of is that you will get loads of support and information here.  You will never feel alone or misunderstood hun.

IK am not too sure on entitlements under the NHS etc, but i'm sure that someone will pop up with an idea.  Dizzi has left you some great links to have a try at and i'm sure they'll be a great help.

Just wanted to say hello and welcome....we are all or have all been in the same boat lovely, so post away and we will help where we can.

Love

Bib xxxxx


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## kimmie (Nov 30, 2006)

JUst wanted to say hi and let you know you are not alone, My dh too was diagnosed with low spream count and lucky the other tests we needed were covered under our private medical plan, we currently in limbo as I need to lose weight before we can start IVF, I know that my area do not fund any cycles so we know we will have to pay, I know it seems unfair and I would certainely think about changing your dr or asking to see another at the same practice, even if you do need to fund your own treatment you still need an understanding GP.  Sorfry I could'nt be of any more help but stay strong and take-care

Love Kimmie


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## Livelife (Aug 28, 2007)

Hi ali

I went thru exactly the emotions you described when I learned we needed tx as vas reversal had failed. I found it so hard to deal with as know 'I'm normal'. I can totally identify with your feelings about your DPs children. it's so hard when you want to have children together and you know that he has had that wonderful experience, trouble free with someone else.
We have had to fund our whole tx including initial consultation. GP has paid for drugs which is a big help. I'm now on my 2ww and hopefully on Thu will find that dreams come true.

Good luck

Christine x


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## ally449 (Jun 6, 2007)

Hi Ali
my dh and i were'nt entitled to any nhs funding for ivf as dh has a child to a previous marraige although we had all our consultations and test done on the nhs it was just the actual treatment we were to pay for.
Good luck with everything

Ally


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

hi ali sorry about your news, here in scotland you only dont get it on the NHS if you have a lining child who lives with you ,if the child lives else where then you can get on the list?? but not sure about england every county is different.
good luck on what ever you do
kim xxx


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## Ali88 (Oct 15, 2007)

Thanks so much everyone for your support - it helps so much to know that there are others out there who understand this horrible situation - it really does! Makes me feel stronger to go on and have our first appointment at the clinc and to pluck up the courage to tell my family.

Wishing you girls all the very best of luck and hope all your dreams for little ones come true.

Thanks again,
Ali
x


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## ♥keepinghope♥ (Nov 28, 2006)

hello and welcome

im not sure how the nhs system works with who is entitiled to what just wanted to say hello and wish you luck on your journey.

keepinghope xxx


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## lilacbunnykins (Mar 15, 2005)

just to let you know,im from essex and my hubby has 3 boys from a previouse marriage,but as they live with there mum we are allowed 1free ivf(along with fitting there other criteria)so worth writing to your primary care trust and see what they say,good luck


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello



Just wanted to say welcome to Fertility Friends and to wish you all the luck in th world on your journey. 

C~x


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi *ali* and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic site full of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try out.

I wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx​


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## Ali88 (Oct 15, 2007)

Hi and thanks so much to everyone who replied to my last post - really appreciated the support. Just thought I'd let you know what happened when we went to fertility clinic. Turns out that our GP is ridiculously bad and contrary to what he had told us my husband's sperm motility is not in fact abnormal at all, just a bit low!!!!!! To top it all the GP had told us we weren't even entitled to an initial consultation with a fertility specialist on the NHS cos of hubby's previous kids hence the appointment at the clinic - turns out that was incorrect and we were entitled to it after all! Naturally, aside from being really angry with the GP for his insensitivity and incompetence, we are both really relieved that our chances of conceiving are much much higher than we thought. Although of course we have been trying for a year and a half with no success and I am not exactly very young at 37. I now have to have a load more tests - to check for blocked tubes, egg reserves etc and the specialist told us that depending on the results we might want to try IUI after Xmas. So hopefully things will be ok with the tests and we can go ahead with it. Get the feeling this is going to be a long long process! Anyhow thanks to all again and wishing everyone all the best of luck.  
Ali
x


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## *Scooby* (Sep 16, 2006)

Ali

I am not surpised your angry it sounds like your GP has got quite a bit wrong in your case.  It sounds like your appointment went well and  you are going to be making some progress  

I wish you all the luck in the world.

x x x


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## lindz-lou (Jun 5, 2007)

Hi Ali ,

you have come to the right place there is always lots of good advice on hand when needed and some great friends to be made too!! good luck x

Lindsey


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