# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption Part 11 2005



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

New home girls.

Will update the list as soon as I get chance.  Back to work full time this week and I always distrurb the kids on the computer at night.  Dh has some time off so going to get him to move it downstairs so I can get my FF fix, I really will miss being at home and/or part time.

Good luck to everyone

Love
Karen x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hope the full time job thing goes well for you Karen, you really are Super Mum and all that now arent you!  

Love Lou xxxx


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi everyone,

Lou - Will be holding your hand all the way, but then you know that eh?  So pleased we are on this journey together x  

Karen - Hope it goes well for you at work.

Hi to everyone else.

Went to see the sw with our crb forms and proof of id yesterday.  Looks like we will hear back in about 4-6 weeks.  Just waiting to hear about our prep course dates...

Laine x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi ladies

Our adoption review went well last week and we've submitted our application to the courts to legally adopt our angel. Hoping to get a hearing date through soon.

She's starting playgroup next week, just to get her used to mixing with other children, and being away from me. I return back to work end of November, only part time but it'll be a wrench leaving her. But it has to be done!

Hope work goes okay for you Karen, hasn't the time flown since you first became a mum?! I can't believe my 6 month leave is nearly over!

Just need to find out where to get name tags from to label our DD's clothing/shoes etc for playgroup? Any ideas?

Good luck to everyone
xx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ever

Just had my Studio Cards catalogue through for Xmas and they do them in there.  Mothercare do a pen that does not wash off.

Hope she settles well.  

Love
Karen x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi everyone,

Ever - I got my sew on labels through Asda - £3 for 48.  Get the sew on ones as the iron on ones lift off at the corners and pucker in my experience.  As a back up I got an indelible pen from Adams to mark ds's shirts with his name.  The name doesn't wash off unless I have to boil wash the shirts but then I just use the pen again.  You can order the labels online, in store or over the telephone from Asda and they arrived within a week so I would recommend them.

Karen - good luck with going back to work full time.

No news here.  STILL waiting for dh's crb check to come back.  It has been 5 weeks now since mine came back and I was waiting 8 weeks for mine to come through.  It has been 13 weeks now that we have been waiting for dh's crb check.  Nothing to be done but wait but it is VERY frustrating as we cannot progress on to the home study until it comes back.

All the best to everyone at all our different stages

Jenny


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Just off to the the doctors now, to have a chat about our adoption wish. Also want to chat about coming off my tablets although I have got myself down to a really low dose but want to make sure I am doing the right thing. Also think it would be helpful for them to know what our intentions are and what they think. Basically get the doc on my side if I can!!  

Speak later

Love Lou xxxx


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Lou - Love the new ticker...and fab idea about seeing the DR.

Karen - Well done you.....you wont have any time to sleep will you!. Good luck anyway!

Ever - Well done, with yet more paperwork!!...hope you get a date really soon!

Laine - It all seems so long ago since we went and took all our ID in!.....hopefully they wont keep you holding on to long to get back to you with more dates......

Jennifer - 13 weeks is really long isnt it, im sure you must be getting quite frustrated about it now. Especailly as yours came back a while ago...... hope you get it back soon so you are ready to move on to the next level!

As for us, we are still waiting for our review, a week today. It will be nice to catch up with our SW again although we did briefly bump into her when we was at SS a few weeks ago and she was amazed at how much weight  I had lost. 
Apart from that, life is busy but fun...

Natsxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hello all

Nats - well done on the weight loss, thats brilliant, its certainly not easy I'm sure. I went on a diet this year (not fat but just felt uncomfy from all the IVF) I really enjoyed doing it and have stuck to my eating habit changes. Feel a lot better for it too. Well done  

Jennifer -  hope you get these wretched checks back soon. Must be very frustrating for you  

Ever - hope the return to work goes well. I called Adam in the other day to read your post. What struck us is how when reading what you had written you would never have guessed your little one had been adopted. You spoke no differently to other Mums who are lucky enough to give birth to their own. We found it really encouraging.   Its lovely that things have worked out so well for you and you are so happy. Enjoy....................xx

Karen- hope your day at work is going well. How are the girls finding nursery now full time? Did you find SS cave you any trouble about intending to return to work? Although do I remember reading sometime that Rich is at home a fair bit? Its great that things have worked out so well for you too. xx

Laine- hope you don't have to wait too long for the prep dates. We will be waiting together wont we, although you are a fair bit ahead of me. I am just beginning!!! Just hope the LA dont make us wait the 12 months although the social worker I spoke to said there is no fixed rule. Thanks for the loan of the hand. xx


Well been to the docs, all fine and doc was really helpfull. She said she thought it was 'marvellous' that we had made the step and will support us all the way though, phew.... she said the dose of tablets I am on now probably aren't actually doing too much anyway so I can just continue, slowly with what I feel happy with. She said that she would hope any social worker would be able to understand how I became unwell with what we have been through and it shouldn't stand in our way, we will see........ hmmmm...........

Also finally had my smear test done, I am so out of date and have been really naughty with all the IVF.  

Just having a potter in the garden now, am planting up some winter baskets and tubs for both the practices I work in. I do try and make the front doors look nice, even if the doggies pee all over them, grrr... 

So thats it for now, by the way, have you all read The Perfect Match? Such a fab read. Its the follow on from The Baby Trail. I loved them both and laughed my pants off. They are so well written and it was as though I could have written them myself. Lovely ending too, had a few tears on the last chapter. Laine if you have not read it you must!

Love to everyone

Lou xxx


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## Fee (May 8, 2003)

Lou - love your ticker hun - so exciting  I'm so pleased for you and Adam
Fee xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

aww thanks Fee, have IM'd you  

Just been for a nice walk up the golf course with Harry in my new red hunter boots (they are so cool, have been waiting ages for them ) it felt really quite autumy kicking the leaves. Winter is on its way            
Its rainy here so gonna get in my jim jams early tonight  

Lovely.......................................


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Hi all
just an update on us our 1st visit is booked for the 13th October presume this is 1st home visit. We have been send criminal forms etc. to fill before. Cant believe its 2 weeks tomorrow!!!!! The nerves are starting to get in and mad dreams about it all.
What amazes me is every LA seems to do things differently - eg. prep courses before home study or not!!!
Anyway hello to everyone whatever stage you are at.

Love Gill


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi everyone,

Ever - Hope you get a date soon.

Jenny - I can't believe you are having to wait so long for your dh's check to come back.  It is ridiculous.  

Nats - Well done with the weight loss.  Hope your review goes well.

Gilly - Not long until your first visit.  

Lou - So pleased that your GP was supportive.  Well done you on cutting down your a.d's too.  I am sure everything will be ok with the sw.  BTW I was chuffed to see your ticker too.  Thanks for the book recommendation.  Sounds like you have been busy in the garden.

Hi to everyone else.

Nothing to report here.  I have been busy in the garden this morning.  Doing lots of autumn/winter preparation.  Does anyone watch Lost on Channel 4?

Laine x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Just a quick one I promise I will catch up later.

Jenny - I work for the police and we are getting delays with getting the checks back on our recruits.  The reason for the delay is the aftermath of July 7th and 21st.  Hold tight they shouldn't be long.

Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Lou

Thanks for your message, really sweet. Seems funny to hear someone say that because to me I am my angel's mum and we feel like we've never been without her! Can't really remember what life was like before May!

To be honest though, before we had her placed with us and became a family, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that it would feel so natural and so "normal". I thought it'd feel strange and awkward for quite a while but I think we've been incredibly lucky and things just fell into place almost immediately. We genuinly forget that we're adopting her, and when people say she looks like me (we don't see it!) it melts my heart and I just think "if only you knew" !!

If I had the chance to re-run my life again over the past 5 years, I wouldn't hesitate to go through it again. Even all the heartache and ups and downs of IVF. I've no regrets, because I know if things hadn't panned out as they did, we wouldn't have our daughter now. 
It truly is well worth everything you go through to get here. It's amazing!

Best of luck to you and your husband, and your future.
Keep us informed!!!


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Girls

LB, sorry to hear your news but you have to do what is best for you and your DH.  This is a life changing decision and you're right not to take care over it.  Hopefully you and the girls will both find the right matches.

Karen, hope things are going OK being a busy working Mum.

Laine, fingers crossed you don't have to wait too long for a prep course.

Ever, 6 months already Time flies.  How often is your DD going to go to playgroup.  I started our DS off on just 1 morning at nursery in order to help him socialise but he found it hard to break away from me.  Since I've increased to 2 mornings things have been better.  I still haven't got the labels thing sorted out yet, I've been using the iron on labels but Jenny is right they curl.  Must get one of those pens that Karen mentioned as I don't do needlework, much to my Mum's disgust as she is the original arts and crafts woman     I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to change a thing (well apart from the early mornings and the pooey nappies   ).  We've ended up with a bright, gourgeous little boy who's so much better than I could ever have imagined.  I will always feel sad about losing the baby that I carried but I don't regret the way things have turned out.  As my DS has the same name that I'd chosen for the baby and is only 3 weeks older than the baby would have been I often think that this is the way things were meant to be.

Jenny, this wait must be so frustrating, it must help that Karen's got a possible reason for the delay.  It's strange to think that those events have caused so many different ripples in people's lives.  Hope you don't have to wait too much longer.

Lou, it's so nice to hear that you are getting such support from your doctor.  I think she is right any SW should understand what you've been through and take into consideration that you've faced these if demons and successfuly come out the other side.  Sounds like you're keeping busy whilst all this process is progressing.  Make the most of the book reading.  I used to read avidly, at least a book a week, but since our son arrived I'm lucky if I can read a paragraph a week   

Gill, I think you're right things really do seem to vary from LA to LA, good luck for the 13th (which I don't think is an unlucky date as my birthday is on the 13th  ).

Had a good time in Cornwall, we managed to explore quite a bit and it's a shame to come back to the daily grind.  Weather was so good on Sunday XXXXX ended up splashing around in the sea   .  The downside of the weekend is that we have discovered that our DS has a new party trick, he can climb out of his travel cot.  Fell out the first night and burst into tears.  He was unsettled being in a new place and we couldn't get him back to sleep.  I ended up putting him in the car in his pyjamas, wrapping him in a blanket and taking him for a drive until he fell asleep   .  Fortunately that technique worked and at least I got to see more of Cornwall.  We now have to work out a strategy for when we next go away with him.  We also had bad news on the house front as the valuation survey on the property we want to buy has shown movement and the building society won't give us a mortgage without a full structural survey.  We're not sure we want to go down this route so we've got some serious thinking to do.

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi all,

sounds like your trip was fun Cindy, even with the acrobatics. We have our niece stayover night with us sometimes and if she wakes in her travelcot during the night the only way that she'll go back to sleep is in bed with us. Shes 2 and has a mighty kick and left hook when she's asleep, so we end up battered, bruised and tired after she stays over.....but we really enjoy it none the less.

nothing else to report. still have not heard from our SW if our details are going to be sent out. it feels like they're delaying things in the hopes that the childrens SW finds them another family....but I'm probably just being paranoid. What do you guys think.....should we have to wait 3 weeks just to find this out?

XRuth.


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Hi everybody!!

I am quite new at this so it will take me a while to get to know everybody.
I did post on here a few months ago, and was waiting for our la info evening.
In between that we had a review with our IVF cons and she persuaded us to use our frozen embies which we did and we did get pg only to msc.

So we have finally decided to put that all behind us and we went to our la info evening last night. It was really informative and we are really pleased with the way things went, they left no one under any elusions.
They mentioned a thing called dual registration has anyone here heard of it? It means that you can be on the foster registrar and the adoption one as well.
So they can give you a child waiting for freeing. I just wondered if anyone had done this as we are really considering it.
Also when you picked your referees did you find it difficult?

Sorry with all the questions but as you can imagine my mind is buzzing today with all the info we were given last night. 

Thanks everybody I have been lurking here for the last week or so and it has been really helpful and I hope to get to know everybody a bit better now that I know I am really on my way.

LOL Keli


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Hi keli
I'm sure i'll be joining you with all the questions soon cos we have our LA info evening in just under 2 weeks- am chomping at the bit now...
we had our official letter about the info evening yesterday and i had to ring and confirm we were going, which i have just done. the letter says in addition to the info talk you have a 1/2 hr interview with a social worker where you discuss the initial form we filled in. at the end of the evening - a 'selection' of people will be invited to proceed, and the prep courses start in nov. theres 3 days in nov and 2 in dec. i feel like we are really going to be under pressure to 'sell ourselves' on that night so that we are able to proceed quickly  I know we have alot to offer so i'm not too worried but i can get tongue tied on the spot so am worried am going to blow it! it doesnt say how many they can take...

Lou, am glad your doc is behind you all the way, thats really good news 

cindy - i did chuckle when reading about your ds/escape artist! what a monkey. have you thought about a different style travel cot that  might be harder fro him to escape from? maybe you could do a swap with a friend/or sell/buy on ebay?

jennifer - i'd be climbing the walls by now if i'd had to wait that long  perhaps karens explanation helps a bit...

love to everyone else

kj x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

KJ- can I ask which authority have you applied to? I am I the only one who's LA dont hold an information evening   Im sure you will do just fine, good luck  

Back later

Love Lou xxx


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

Just a quick one.
Dh & myself went to information meeting last week & all was well until our discussion with the sw, & we told her about dh's medicial condition  She told us not to even bother with filling in any forms as we were not the type of parents that they were looking for. To cut a long story short we have decided to go ahead & have returned the forms. Has anyone else every been told that they are not suitable & have gone on to be successful?


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

bun bun, sorry to be nosey but what is your dh's condition? dont answer if you dont want to...

kj x


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## BunBun (Apr 25, 2004)

KJ,
I will send you a pm.


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi BunBun,

was it because of the medical condition that she told you not to apply? Cos I don't think that makes you a "type" of parent does it? At least not both of you. I think you're right to forge ahead.....never take one persons opinion of you as gospel!

When we first enquired we were told not to apply because at the time we were only considering pre-school children, but then we changed our minds and have now been approved for one or two children between 0 and 6 years old. Are you being tight/firm on age the age of children you're willing to consider?

good luck,
XRuth.


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## momo (Apr 12, 2005)

Hi Everyone, 

Hope you don't mind me joining you on this thread?  I've been a non participating observer for some time and enjoyed reading your heartwarming stories.

After 2 Ivf attempts(one failed & one resulted in a miscarriage at 8 weeks), my dh and i decided to down the adoption route. We were initially going to adopt from Russia but after looking into all the aspects-particularly the agency costs- we decided to adopt from the UK instead.

We are nearing the end of our home study now and looking likely to go to panel in November and getting quite anxious now about whether we will be approved- although our SW see's no reason why we shouldn't be.

We are now in the process of doing our family album (gathered loads of photo's together) and would welcome any advice on what we should put in it!

looking forward to getting to know you all!


Momo.


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hello

Just a quick one from me, feeling very tired and frazzled and relieved it is Friday (even if I do have to do the branch surgery in the morning!).

Not much to report from here, had very busy week as always and had to deal with some very emotional owners this morning who had had there dog euthanased, which made me emotional.........  any way.......... worked till 2 today, done Sainsburys shop and then walked the dog so all in all feeling a little worn out now. Off for a couple of drinks with some friends tonight so no doubt I will liven up!  

Had a letter from LA this week to acknowledge out application, said we will hear from a social worker within the next 8 weeks. So we will see.

Hey just one thing, anyone heard of Venture portraits? Adam and I are going to have them done ( I fear it could be very pricey) and are taking Harry (dog) and Hector (Maine ****) with us. So should be interesting. I will have to make sure Adam is in charge of the credit cards that night. 

Speak soon and have a nice weekend all

Sorry no personals today

Love Lou xxxx


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Lou- thanks for the thanks! about the weight loss. I have struggled with weight since I got my underactive thyroid...and I alsgo gave up smoking so gained lot then....its been hard work but its been so worth it...I have managed to get into another pair of trousers today!!..looks like I might be getting a new wardrobe soon!
Sad to hear about that dog, I know I couldnt do anything like that...it makes me sad to think about how im going to cope when my little man goes to pastures new..

Laine - dh and I are hooked on Lost...its sort of odd isnt it but you cant help but to watch...however I cant wait for desperate housewives to begin...I just loved that!

Everhopeful - Its so lovely what you put in your post about being normal....I hope that you have lots of happy times together!

Cindy - glad you had a great time in Cornwall...its lovely down there isnt it...

Ruthibabe- I hope you get to hear something soon...dont get too down hearted just yet, we all know they can take a while on these things...but wishing you all the luck anyway. xx

Hi Keli - welcome to the group.....if you have any questions...ask away.....!!

BunBun - im sorry to hear about your problems, im not sure what the problem is but its a shame that they have told you not to begin. Good luck.

Momo- welcome to you too....good luck at panel, its really quite easy although nerve racking. It was a big high at the end of the day!!....

Hi to KJ and anyone else I have missed...

nothing else going on......am off out with some friends who we have stayed freidns with from the prep groups tomorrow night...well its thier turn to cook for us so looking forward to that.

Take care and enjoy your weekends.

Natsxx


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## TraceyH (Apr 14, 2004)

Hi Momo

Welcome.  As you will see we are all at various stages of the adoption process.  You are not too far behind us.  We have just finished our Home Study and have a panel date towards the end of November.  We are a bit anxious but it is not everyday that a panel of people ask you personal questions, but I am sure everything will be fine.

We are also in the process of doing our Life Story Book.  I am really enjoying it.  We have laminated our pages so that they are easier to get in and out of the file.  I have cut out characters from CBeebies and stuck them in and jazzed it up with a bit of glitter.  We have put a little explanation about who or what the picture is about and put them in a bright file.  It is ideal at the moment as stationery in most shops is half price as the children have just gone back to school.  There is a thread further down about the Life Story Book with some good ideas.

Tracey


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

Hi all,
Bon bon I'm so sorry why don't you try ringing a couple of agencies to see what they say?

Karen what did SS/Panel say originally about your return to work after adoption? We have to show how we can survive as long as possible without returning to work,   and then they say it should only be part time until the children are in full time school.  I can see their point and would def not want to go back full time as I want to enjoy the children I will have waited so long to be a Mum to, but my income is a significant part of our overall income so it will be very very hard.

On the issue of money, did anyone get a settling in grant? Our SW has hinted at it, but we don't really understand the hows and whys of it.

We are supposedly full steam ahead for November Panel (end of November) although our CRBs are  both still to come back. Makes more sense now after what Karen has posted. (ours went off end on July).  I am still waiting for my latest work one to come back too, which was done mid july, although our work ones are done online, so the admin secretary said she will check where it is up to.

I will be gutted if the CRBS are the only thing that stops us getting to November panel.  


I guess soon it will be time to start on our book too.


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi All

Momo and Keli welcome to the thread.

No real news to report this week. Seems like everyone is overtaking me now 
Can't believe only a couple of months ago I was all set up to go to panel and now everything is still on hold.

On the plus side I have managed to lose some more weight with DH being away  and yesterday managed to fit into an outfit that had been lurking in the back of my wardrobe for some time.  I'm not exactly huge but did put on a bit when I had tx and got OHSS and it has been very slow coming back off. Managing to lose a pound a week on average so hopefully it will stay off.

Nats I hear you girl on the weight lose....here's to new wardrobes!!

Bunbun hope you get some positive news soon  

Loulou great to hear you are now in the system officially  

Ruthibabe...sending you positive vibes  

Hi to all the rest of you  

Morgana x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Everyone

Well today we have managed to move the computer downstairs so I now get to annoy DH and not wake the girls up!!

Lou - My LA did not do an intro evening, they send an SW round to do a one-to-one chat.

Cindy - Sorry to hear about the house, hope things come to a good conclusion. LOL about getting X off to sleep. We've been having a few nights with the youngest getting clingy now I am back full time so instead of waking up and singing herself back off to sleep as normal she is wailing for me. I've been using the gradual withdrawel technique but can see how easy it is for parents to give in and have them in their own bed!

Keli - welcome, glad you enjoyed the open evening and feel free to ask questions. I think what you refer to as dual registering is known as concurrent planning and there is a separate thread on this. 
Here's the link http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=24421.0

KJ - Good luck for your open evening, I am sure you and DH will be fine.

Bun Bun - sorry to hear about your situation. The only time I heard of this was when their were doubts about medical issues. In these cases I have known that they have done the medical first before allowing them to procedd further so as not to waste time on either side. Normally the medical comes a bit later in the process.

Momo - welcome to you. Here's a link to some discussions we've had on here about the family album http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=26151.0 Good luck to you and your dh.

Kylie - Panle waanted to know how we would cope if it did not feel right to return when I had planned. In the end they funded me to stay off for 3 more months as we'd only got sufficient savings for me to be off for 6 months as I am the major wage earner. At this stage (8 months) I went back part time and did this for 10 weeks before going back full time. So the girls have had a gentle ease into going to nursery full time. We did say though that if push came to shove we would have to look at downsizing house and style of living.

Morgana - hope things work out for you with the move.

Well not much to report here. Felt really guilty all week about being back at work full time but have to say it has made the weekends more special. Eldest has been asking all week if she can go to the pub and for a curry!! She heard Daddy saying this earlier in the week about going out with his mates ( not the only thing she's been copying so Rich has had a talking to - she keeps saying Cheeses Swept - Jesus Wept!!!) So we took the girls to the pub for our tea last night so she's dead chuffed!. Like I say we've moved the computer downstairs so I can get on here more often. DH is already moaning about me typing but that's because he's currently swooning over Susannah Hoffs from the Bangles on VH1!!

Hope everyone else is ok.

Love
Karen x


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

Karen, thankyou so much that is really helpful!
I am the main breadwinner (although dh earns okay too) so me stopping for six months is "manageable"- with savings, stat adoption pay, downsizing to one car, cutting all our savings, spending etc to zero except for food, bills and a little for clothes and presents. from then on it will be a HUGE struggle, but they started telling us we could try for an adoption allowance, then the other week they said we need to prove we can survive without it, then in the same sentence how will you manage if you can't return to work?. well it would involve remortgaging basically! so we had a huge panic, then spoke to our sw who said it was all fine, we had planned for every eventuality- ideal= we get adoption allowance and I can stay at home for ages, next best= I do the odd day's supply after six months and dh works some weekend shifts so he can cover the days I work by taking some days off inthe week, and also if the kid(s) are up for it me going back part time (2 days a week) and the children attending the onsite nursery while I work.  

obviously in the interest of the children adoption allowance would mean they could hve a stay at home mum for at least a year, but for lots of children a couple of days a week at nursery is really positive in terms of socialisation, access to a wider range of toys and experience, and adjusting to a structured environment (sorry thats the teacher in me!) soI don't have a problem with nursery, but we can't say what will be right for our children at this early stage. It is so useful to hear that support can be put in to meet the children's needs like they did for you.

glad you enjoyed the family outing to the pub. it must be great to be doing that stuff finally!
kylie
x


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Hi,

Well we have now finished our prep course adn are at the point of filling in more forms before we are allocated a sw for homestudy (which should start in the next few weeks).

our process goes - interest form filling - initial visit - prep course - foral application form filling - homestudy - form F filling - panel - approval - matching.

I am really going to miss prep group and all the friends I made there. it seems odd- before it, I just saw prep course as a 'thing i had to do to get to the next stage' but now I reliase how much I enjoyed it and want to keep getting that support, information and guidance. I really hope we get a good sw who will keep that up for us.

We are also worrying a little bit about money. Current plan is for me to take 6 months adoption leave (using our full annual leave balance next year for sw visits and (hopefuly)panels and introductions). After that DH will give up work to become a full time dad for a year or two. I am the main wage earner (although I am not a *big * earner by any means!) so it makes sense that DH does the SAHP bit. It is also something he really wants to do. I just hope we can make the savings stretch enough to manage. With a bit of 'luck' any child we get will be able to get a priority place at nursery so DH will be able to get some part-time work to help with bills.

I am still petrified about my medical - honestly it is almost becoming an obsession. So i have arranged to see my GP tomorrow for a 'premedical' check. then I will know from the outset if it will only be my weight that will be an issue or if there might be something else which would stop the process. I sooo want to be a mum but I really struggle with losing weight. For every stone I lose I seem to put 2 back on! Just need to convince my body that it needs less food and more exercise - not the other way round.

sw i spoke to at prep course seemed to think it wouldn't be a huge issue as long as there were no other complications - high bp, diabetes etc (both were ok last time they were checked so lets pray they stay that way).

Anyway...great to hear all your news.

Magenta x


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi Guys

Just wanted to say that I hope you had a lovely weekend.....

and for some of us, its another week nearer becoming a family!

Natsxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Magenta

Congrats on completing your prep course and hope you don't have to wait long to allocatted an SW.  Don't worry about the weight thing as you will have seen lots of us have posted about this issue and there are some of us who have gone on to be Mum's and Dad's so its not an altogether no no.  The best thing to do is show them that you live a healthy active lifestyle and that you are active enough to look after a child and are in good health to give that child a stable environment for years to come.

Good luck
Karen x


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Hi all,

Karen thank you very much for the thread it has really helped.

Magenta thanks for replying it is soo much better when you know people who are going through this.

We have sent our forms back to our la, so we are now in for the long wait. Thank goodness for FF.

I hope everybody is OK.

LOL Keli


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## momo (Apr 12, 2005)

Hi all,

Thanks for your replies.

Nats- I imagine it is more very nerve wracking at panel - but looking forward to it(sort of)- well will be glad when it os over anyway!!

Tracey H- We are roughly at the same level of the process aren't we? I think our panel date is going to be around the middle of November  but our S/W has yet to confirm this. We've got one more meeting with him on Friday.  As for our family album- so far we have just gaythered the photos we are going to use of us, family house, friends & pets, and bought lots of various glittery stickers, cartoon characters & some cute little animals with wobbly eyes that we are going to put around the photos- quite nervous of actually starting it though in case we mess it up!!

Morgana- Thanks and well done on your weight loss-think of all those new clothes you can buy!!

Thanks Karen- the link was really useful-  and the 'cheeses swept' really mad me laugh- can't wait to hopefully have similiar experiences.

Hope everyone else is OK.

Momo x


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi

Magenta- Congrats on finishing your prep course. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Like you I saw mine as another step to get through but really enjoyed it and learnt so much. The biggest learning curve for me was all the coping strategies for different issues the children may have. I was also really suprised at how vocal DH was by the end (this was someone who hates talking in groups) and watching him develop through the classes. I was so proud of him and if I had any doubts about his commitment to adopt before the prep classes started they were completely resolved. Best of all at the end of each class DH and I  spoke in depth about what we had got from it and it helped bring us even closer together (if that's possible cause we are really close anyway). End result was that we realised we both had similar thoughts about the cildren we hoped to adopt.

It was really amusing during our home studies. We were set questions by our SW as homework and we had to answer them without our partner helping. After the session our SW said we were so in tune with each other it was scary!!! After she had gone we looked at each others answer and they were so similar. Still it was great to know we had the same views on adoption.

Good idea about going for the pre-medical, hopefully it will put your mind at rest....best of luck that it all goes OK

Morgana x


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

hi guys!

Well...I had a meeting with my gp to today.  

I have a new gp (last one retired) and she was excellent.  She doesn't think my weight should be an issue although she agrees it is well above acceptable levels, but has put me on some medication to help with the weight loss and booked me onto a GP approved healthy lifestyle clinic/course which will also help.  She says she will use it as proof of my willingness to take steps to address the issue.  She herself is adopted and I get the feeling she will do everything she can to get me through the medical.

thanks for all your supportive posts.

so....what is everyone else up to?  Anyone else about to start homestudy too?

magenta x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hi magenta
great news about your docs appt. what a difference it makes to have some support from GP's 

we are going to our LA open evening a week today eeek! I'm sooooooooo hoping we are 'selected' to go forward cos we will have all the prep course done and dusted by mid december which means a nice contentded feeling of finishing the year with a big part under our belt. if we arent 'selected' this time i wonder how long we would have to wait.....

we have been thinking of getting a puppy, but have the plan on hold till we ask next week - anyone know if this works against you at all? 

love to everyone 

kj x


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Magenta

Hurray....sounds like you are onto a winner with your new GP, what a difference it makes to have someone working with you to over come issues. Hopefully you will now breeze through your proper medical and what a good idea from the GP to put you into clinic because lets face it most things can be overcome with the adoption panel if you show you are actively trying to overcome an issue.

Here's hoping for a smooth run from now on for you

Love Morgana x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi Magenta,

that's great about your GP. Mine was good too, suggested shedding some weight but didn't think it would be an issue. Having said that I've put on a couple of pounds since then....holidays and building work are my excuses! It's hard to eat healthly when you've no kitchen. What's the medication you're one? 

Did anyone ever lose weight with metformin? I was on it for a little while and did lose some weight, but that was before we realised that DH's counts were low. I came off it then as there didn't seem to be much point, but maybe if it'd help me lose weight then it'd be worth going back on. What do you think? DH suggested eating less chocolate, but speaking as a scientist I can't believe that that is a sensible approach.....not to go cold turkey straight away!   

xxruth.


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Everyone

It's so nice to read we have some new members who are joining us on the route to adoption, welcome to you all.

Even nicer to read is that everyone seems to be more upbeat about the whole process, remember you will get there & you will all make wonderful parents.

No news really from here, DD is loving school & I'm still working on DH to think about having another one!! - I'm not giving up just yet -  

Joined a gym 2 weeks ago & am beginning to feel the benefits of it, I have much more energy & have lost 2lbs in the last week, so all in all it must be doing me good!

Hope everyone is OK & look forward to reading your news soon.

Love Andrea 
xx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi everyone,  no news here.  We are STILL waiting for dh's police check and it is 14 weeks now - grrr.

Karen - thanks for the info on why the police are dragging their heels.  We have been told that dh's wait is due to our local police station -  .

Lou - dh, ds and I had our portrait done at Venture a couple of years ago.  We only had the offer photo as any others were very expensive.  My friend works for them locally.  Hope you enjoyed yourselves and the pic was good

Laine - I watch Lost.  Don't know why sometimes as it is a bit odd in places but lovely scenery.

Cindy - good to hear you enjoyed your holiday in Cornwall. I well remember when my little son got out of his travel cot for the first time.  Means your baby is growing into a big boy  

Boomerang - isn't this wait for crb ridiculous.  At least your LA is processing you.  Ours is making us wait until we get dh's crb back.  

kj - re pets - we have a dog, 2 canaries and 3 cats and were told on our preparation course that it was a very good thing to have pets as if the child cannot relate straightaway to you, it will be able to relate to your pets.  Of course, some children are asthmatic so it might stop you adopting a child if it turned out the child was asthmatic.  We were told that if we had a dog that was classed as a dangerous dog under the dangerous dog act then we would need to get a vet's report which we would have to pay for.  Our dog is a border collie so that bit wasn't relevant to us.

Bye for now

Jenny


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Hi everyone

Just a quickie before I have some lunch.

Our 6 month review went well, she has put our mind at rest over several issues we had and we have left things as they stand, i.e same age group and tick boxes.

On a better note, about 3 months ago a young baby come into the system and we were chosend and matched, unlucky for us the court case came around and decided the baby be placed back......although I was sad to hear this, I pleased as we are being looked at and picked, and at the end of the day the welfare of the child is always paramount and iy was obviously the best thing.

So we just sit tight now and wait a bit longer....we are planning a camping trip at  half term and will take our nephews and niece with us, then theres always Xmas....but I ddont want to mention that word too much!!.

Anyway onwards and upwards!

Natsxx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi Nats,

I'm really glad your meeting went well,and hopefully not too long a wait for you now. 

We are STILL waiting to hear if our details are going to be sent out, and the childrens SW has been on the phone to me asking what the delay is. I can't get in touch with anyone, and noone has replied to my email.....very frustrating. The children are not in this months BMP, so we have a few weeks to get our details to them, but they'll be in next months if they don't find a family for them, so I'm anxious to see if they'd be interested in us as potential parents before they get a flood of new applicants.    

IIn the meantime I get on woth the decorating.....our extension is nearly finished, so I've lots to fill my time!

XXRuth.


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hi all.
Jenny, our sw only sent off the crb checks half way through the home assessment, so I gues if they are not backin time we will have to wait another month and will miss november panel.
saying that, DH's arrived yesterday in the post, but mine has not. Idid move over here from australia ten years ago, but had a check done there, so I am not sure if they are checking again or not. Iwould be soooooo peeved if we had to wait months and months extra because of it- I know howimportant it is, but I am a teacher who has passed several of theold style ones, so surely they could still let us go to panel, and approve us "pending" the arrival of my clean crb! at least that would stop two or three months being wasted! the worst thing is not knowing how ling- it could be tomorrow, it could be three months. it is doing my head in. Still as we keep reminding each other, each additional month is more money in the bank.

thanks for the support on the money stuff girls, and the pms.
kylie
x


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## Val 12 (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi everyone,

haven't posted for ages as nothing much has happened really. My sw is coming to see us soon to hopefully finalise form F and for us to go to panel in November. We've been through everything else, police checks, references, home studies etc and it was nowhere near as bad as we thought it would be, our sw has been a star. Just trying not to get too excited really   . Our kitchen extension starts next week so needless to say that'll keep my mind off things and give me stresses of a different kind (so I understand what you are going through Ruth).

Just want to say well done to Magenta for getting such a lovely GP, it really does help. My GP himself adopted 2 little boys so was more than willing to get me through the medical and to offer any help. Needless to say I passed my medical even though I have had some health problems in the past. 

Anyway glad to see things ticking along nicely for everyone,

Val xxxxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Everyone

Magenta - well done on getting a positive response from your GP, sounds fab.

Nat - glad your review went well.  Hope you hear more soon and at least you know its not all been idle for the last 6 months.

Ruth - Hope your SS pull their finger out and get your details off.

Kylie - Hope you get something back soon and don't have to wait too long.

Andrea - Hope the gym is going well.  

Val - good luck for signing off your form F and good luck for panel, what date?

Well nothing much to report here other than the papers are being filed by the LA at court tomorrow so only a matter of weeks before we can officially call the girls ours, seems a long time coming.  Hope everyone else is doing well.

Love
Karen x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

hi

sorry to butt in on this thread but just have a question if thats ok?
We had our initial home visit for fostering on tuesday this week and the sw mentioned form f and said that it can have several questions in it and i see that someone mentioned form f on here and just wondered if anyone could tell me what sort of things are on it?

many thanks
suzie xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi, just a quickie, I've had a telephone call from my mate so I've been neglecting my DH all night.

Suzie, the Form F usually has a description of you and your family, where you live, what you do, your interests, how many siblings you have, etc.  It also will give your answers to questions on what type of children you would be prepared to foster, the questions will be on what ages you would accept, how many children, whether you would consider any disabilities/illnesses, stuff like that.  

Karen, good news on the court date finally being set, posted to you on the other thread.

Jenny, 14 weeks, I think GRRRR is the right response.

Sorry haven't got time for personals to everyone else but will keep looking to see how you're getting on.

love
Cindy


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hiy,
Olive I guess the form f for fostering is similar to adoption- with us we were asked lots of questions to answer and our sw is "summing it all up" in our form f. but I do have work friends who foster, as well as some of the childrenI have taught have long term foster parents, so I will see what I can find out.

karen. I am so pleased you are close to that court date. your girls are yours now completely. although we all appreciate the sw input it must have got to the point where you just "wanna get on with being a family", and wish everyone would let you do it. you have been  brilliant support to everyone on here. I moderate on another site so I know how taxing it can be with a busy life- and I'm not yet a parent like you!!!

hope you have the bottle of champers ready for the night of the court date.

have you got any plans?
I guess you would want to "family" celebrate as well as have a few quiet moments together as a couple?


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Kylie

Sadly plans for a full on immediate celebration are on hold with my Dad starting his chemo on Monday and Rich's Dad having his op as this will coincide with the court date.  What we plan to do is rather than have a big party (which would be for everyone elses benefit) we want to do something the girls will enjoy.  As they are both in to trains we are going to hire a coach on the Severn Valley railway and take immediate family.  Will have to wait until the spring though as after his chemo Dad will be having a big op and will be incapacitated for about 4 months and Rich's dad for 3 months after his.

Karen x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi Karen

Sorry to read all the news about your Dad & Father in law, hope they will both recover soon.

I think it's a lovely idea to wait until the spring & go on a train, taking the immediate family with you.

When we adopted our DS he wanted to go to a pub for lunch & the fair at night time, he also said he wanted a tellytubby & it had to be tinky winky!

This was around the time that you couldn't get telly tubbies for love nor money & we thought oh heck! what are we going to do.  A good friend came to the rescue, her sister worked for Ragdoll, the company that produces the Telly tubbies.  Her sister explained to her boss that we were adopting a little boy & that his one wish to celebrate his special day was to have Tinky Winky!

The following day a Tinky Winky arrived on our doorstep with a little note, an annual & lots of stationery! (FREE of charge!!!)  It made our sons day, altough he cringes at the thought of it now!

When we went to court to adopt our DD, we went as just the 4 of us, had a meal close by to the court & then went to see the lights at Blackpool, this was Ds idea as DD was only 16 months old.  We bought her a teddy as reminder of her/our special day.

Just a thought that you might like to get the girls something as a special reminder, I'm sure you've thought of it.

Not a lot to say here apart from the Gym is doing me some good, been 3 times this week, I'm not sure what I'm going to do once I've got a "proper" job!

Hope everyone is well, look after yourselves & have a nice week end.

Love from
Andrea
xx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Karen - just wanted to say hope all goes well for your dad on Monday.  It is a very tough time for you all.  Thanks for taking the time to keep this board on track with all that is going on in your life.  We went on the Severn Valley Railway last month and had a great time.

Superal - thanks for sharing your experiences/memories with us.  You sound a perfect little family, right from the start. 

All the best

Jenny


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

thanks for taking the time to reply ladies  xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi ladies

Sorry no personal shouts tonight, just a quick update before I hit the sack!
Hope everyone is doing well at their individual stages!

Our "baby" girl started play group last week and thoroughly enjoyed it. Left me feeling like a spare part but pleased she seems to have settled so quickly.
She's back there again tomorrow and all of a sudden I'm on the very quick moving road to no-return - well actually part-time return - to work! Only 8 weeks of leave left and feeling like I've not done much with the last 4 months!

We've had word from our SW that a date has been set for the court hearing - week before Christmas! How perfect! We haven't had a letter ourselves confirming that so don't want to set it in stone yet, but it'd make our year!
Can't plan ahead too far at the moment because both my mum and dad are ill at the moment, although we won't find out what exactly is wrong with Mum until she gets her results this week. So things a bit tricky, but keeping our chins up. Found very quickly that you have to plod on as normal, because children (even as young as 25months) pick up on the slightest thing!

Hopefully will end this year on a high. Time has flown so quickly this year I can hardly believe it's almost _that_ time again! Must get myself organised!! Now she's in playgroup I've no excuse not to start the shopping!!

Will be in touch again when I've got a set date!

Nighty night x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hi guys 

jennifer thanks for the info re dogs - it set my mind at rest a bit. since i posted my aunts dog has had a litter of puppies (lab/collie cross) and we are really tempted......

karen, sorry to hear of your poorly dads, sending you and  them strength to get thru the difficult days ahead...

Lou - did you have your venture portraits done? be interested to hear how they come out. am sure your pockets will feel very empty afterwards!!

we have our LA open evening tonight, and dh has come down with some throat bug and is ill in bed - great timing NOT! think he will be ok, but he wont be on top form. I'm starting to get nervous, I know i am going to be so gutted if we are asked to defer for a few months, we are so ready to get a move on now. I'm trying hard not to get my hopes up but its all buzzing around in my head....

love to all

kj x


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Hi all
Karen so sorry to hear things are tough at moment. You really must have your hands full. Take care of your family and yourself.
KJ good luck tonight bet you cant wait.
Jennifer still waiting?
To everyone else you are in my thoughts. Its hard to keep track.

Here we have 2 more sleeps to our 1st home study visit and my tummy is starting to feel it abit.
References she wants in the area we live if possible so will have to discuss that!!!! I am from Belfast and we have only moved to our area. I feel so unsure I dont like not knowing what to except.

I will email after visit.
Gill


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Gill - yes I am still waiting.  Having spoken to the crb and sent numerous e-mails I am assured that the crb will be ringing the police and chasing them for the final police check and they will be doing this on a daily basis so hopefully it won't take much longer.     I too moved to this area.  We moved here 5 years ago so my referees are out of the area.  I can get someone local if pressed but I have put down people who have known me for 11 years and 20 years but the local person has only known me 3 1/2 years.  So far, no one has mentioned getting a local person as a referee.  Good luck with your first home study visit.  I am sure I will get butterflies about it as well as you do not know what to expect and it is so important that it goes well.  Good luck to you both.

kj - aaah little puppies - how cute.  Mind you the piddling/pooing everywhere is not so cute nor is the chewing or whining in the middle of the night   I cannot see that a puppy would create problems re the adoption, except that having a puppy is rather like having a child as they need constant attention and love so you would possibly have to convince sw that you had enough attention and love to go around.  Only a guess though, it might be that sw don't bat an eyelid about your pup.  Perhaps it would be an idea to ring and ask them?  If the pup comes from your aunt, perhaps she would have the pup back if it turns out that sw say it is best not to have a dog?  Just a thought.  I know that it would be a wrench to have to give up your pup when you had grown to love it but hopefully it won't come to that.  Lab/collie cross would be a nice natured dog and medium sized so not too much of a worry to sw I would have thought.

Karen - hope all went well with your dad.  Thinking of you.

Ever - good to hear that your little one is enjoying playgroup.  I know what you mean about feeling a bit redundant.  My ds barely has time to kiss me goodbye before he rushes off into primary school to be with his friends.  He is 4 1/2 now and the time has flown by.  We have our first parent evening tonight so I hope it goes well.  Sorry to learn that both your parents are ill.  What a worry for you.  Hope it all turns out ok.

All the best to everyone as always.

Jenny


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## MummytoLottieandLily (Jul 7, 2005)

Hello 

I hope you dont mind me gatecrashing but Lou said it would be ok if I join you lovely ladies.

We are truly blessed as five months ago we adopted two little girls  

Our daughters were aged 2 years and 4 months and almost 12 months when they first came to live with us.  They are absolutely adorable and are bright, happy, cute, lovable, beautiful little girls.  They have settled extremely well and we still can't stop smiling.  Being a Mummy is Magical.....  

I look forward to getting to know you all and sharing our journeys together.

byeee


Lilianna x x x


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Karen - I hope everything is ok and that both your dad and FIL make fast and full recoveries, the big party sounds like a great ideA!

KJ - Hope dh managed to get up out of bed and make it to the LA meeting.....let us know all about it when you can!!

Jenny - i thought I would log on and see that you had got them back..im sure you must be so frustrated especially when you have already had them done a few months ago...I have my fingers crossed that the come through soon so you can fly through to the home study and panel!

Lilianna - What a lovely post, its always nice to have new families join us, especially the ones that are waiting like me, when some days seem quite tough...but you show us that its all worth while!

Superal - Thanks for the message, sorry I havent been around but a few bits and pieces going on. I promise i will tomorrow though!

Hi to all the other ladies I have missed.......

no news here, but doubt anything will happen before Xmas anyway...we have a few days away with our nephews and niece during half term so that will be great fun!

Take care

Natsxx


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Horray lily has joined us        

Will post properly tomorrow but so pleased you have joined us, we are all thrilled to bits for all 4 of you.

Welcome Lilliana, Darryl Charlotte and Lily     

Lots of love

Lou xxxxx


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## MummytoLottieandLily (Jul 7, 2005)

Thank you for the warm welcome Lou and Nat

Nat, I hope your dream comes true for you soon.

love

Lilianna x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Lily,

I have just seen you message also on Care but was not sure if it was 'you' or not. I am soooooooooo happy for you and daryl. Do you remember me? We met at the manchester meet.

I have often thought about you and wondered what had happened to you? I  can't belive you news.

I to am now a mummy, we adopted our son 4 months ago age 9 months and he is now a strapping 13 month old who is into everything. he is the light of our life.

Are you still child minding? i have a meeting with one on Friday and i am soooooooooo nervious.

Keep in touch.

Love Mandyxx


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## MummytoLottieandLily (Jul 7, 2005)

Hello Ladies

Hope you are all well?.

Mandy, Hello Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.  I am so happy to read your news and have been following your story whenever I had time.  Its wonderful that you now have your precious little boy and are now a very proud Mummy.  Like us, you were very fortunate to adopt your little one very quickly. :0  I am thrilled for you.  Please tell me all about your journey and your little one.  

I am tired at the mo as we have just been dancing to the Boogie Babies on CBeebies with my little ones  

I wish everyone lots of luck with their adoption journeys.  

love

Lilianna x x x


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Hi girls,
How great to hear all these wonderful stories it really does give me a lift. We have had great news this morning   our sw rang and is coming out to see us on Friday morning and she is putting us on the prep course in November the one that they said were to late to go on at our info evening, and she said she is going to try to speed us along. I can't wait I am soo excited.  

We cannot believe it, our luck has changed at last!!!!

LOL Keli


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## yonny (Mar 5, 2005)

Hi Girlies!!

havent been on for a while but have been keeping an eye on everyone coming and going!!

You may remember that DH and I went to an open evening in Sept to start the ball rolling on adoption?
I enjoyed it and  we were both full steam ahead to start the process.
We got chatting to a sw at the evening and she made a point of saying that anyone undergoing fertility tx would need to be at least a year over tx and fully aware that adoption was how they wanted to go.

We had discussed this and were thinking that we would go straight for adoption but in the last few weeks DH has had an op on the variocele and our GP has suggested we try one cycle of ICSI in Jan!!

Now Im confused again.
I know there is a child out there I can give a warm loving home to whether or not I conceive one of my own
Do I fib and continue the adoption process as far as I can (I guess Im bound to get found out though!)
I feel it makes me look a bit flighty if one minute I was so set on adoption (believe me I still am) but the next we're jumping on the emotional rollercoaster of ICSI simply cos Doc says it might work!
Help!!!
Very confused!! 
Yonny x


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## helenb (Oct 30, 2004)

Hi Ladies!

Sorry, haven't been on the boards for a while as have been busy with house renovation.  Sounds like everyone is moving along nicely..

We went to panel yesterday and have been approved for up to 3 children between 0-6!!       

Am so excited!!  I hope we don't have to wait too long for our special gift.

Best wishes to you all.

Helen
x


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi everyone,

Karen - Been thinking of you.  Hope your dad and FIL recover soon.  I am sure you will have a fab time oif you go for a big party.

KJ - So did you go to the meeting?  How was it for you?

Jenny - I would be so frustrated now.  Do you have to wait for them before beginning home study?

Lilianna - Welcome and thanks for your lovely post.  It was lovely to read about your two little girls. 

Yonny - I think you need to follow your heart.  Only you and your dh know what is going to be best for you. 

Helen - Congrats to you both on being approved.  Hope you don't have to wait too long to be matched.

Ever - Playgroup already, where has time gone?

Andrea - How you doing at the Gym?  I'm considering doing some Yoga.

Magenta - Glad your GP is being supportive.

Lou - Hi there! 

Val - When is your form F being signed off?

Kylie - Hope you don't have to wait to hear for long.

Gill - Let us know how HS goes.  Good luck.

Keli - Hope everything goes well Friday.  Good news on the prep course.

Hi to everyone else.

I have chased the SW for our prep course dates.  She told me November is fully booked and that we may get on the December one, so everything crossed for that.

Waiting for our CBR checks to come back too but only been a couple of weeks.

Laine x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hello

Helenb- congratulations of your approval, 3 kiddies wow!!!! Hope your wait for your match isnt too long   

Lilianna- once again welcome. I love reading your posts, it gives all of us new ones hope of what might be for us if we are lucky! Your girls sound wonderful and you sound like you are just as much a wonderful Mummy too. 

KarenM- Hope the girls are well, how are you finding work now? 


Yonny- Sorry to hear about your dilema, only you know the answer for both of you. Hope you reach a decision that your happy with soon.  

Laine- How are you? Any more news of a prep course date?

Mandy- lovely to hear about your little boy, he sounds like the apple of your eye  

Jenny- You must be getting really peed off now, I do hope you get these checks back soon.  

Everyone else hello to you all.

No news from here yet. Really miserable grey rainy day here today, 2 friends and I took ourselves off into town for a posh lunch today. Had yummy salads, garlic bread and glass of wine, whilst it rained outside. Great way to cheer the day up. Hey to all the Mummys here that have ickel girlies, you must go in Monsoon, they most gorgous little girls clothes are to be had. I would be very dangerous in here I feel!!     Mind you some very cute little boys clothes too.   Work is still as busy as ever, just starting on my teams appraisals so very time consuming and un-animally! 
Well its footie tonight on the TV so about to get myself into my jim jams and have bought OK mag for a very boring evening. 

No more news from me

Love Lou xxxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Just wanted to add my congratulations to Helenb.

3 children under the age of 6 - WOW!!

I hope you don't have to long of a wait & hope all your dreams will come true.

Laine- the gym is going really well, I didn't think I would take to it as I have but I'm really enjoying it, even if I do ache a little bit today!

Hi to everyone else - will try & catch up with all your news soon!

Best wishes to you all,
Love 
Andrea
xx


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## MummytoLottieandLily (Jul 7, 2005)

Hello again

Helen Congratulations on being approved for 3 children 0 - 6 its a great feeling.  I can remember feeling so nervous before we went to panel, all very scarey and formal    

Lou sounds like you had a lovely lunch with your friends -  I love too pig out especially with garlic bread  

Mandy, hello you we are everywhere LOL.  No I am no longer a childminder, I gave up just before we were shortlisted for the girls (our lovely social worker said it would give us the best chance) it was very scarey as I always thought I would continue until we were chosen.  Thankfully for us, it did happen very quickly and when we were chosen as the Mummy and Daddy we were over the moon and we still can't stop smiling.  Please do not worry about meeting the childminder.  Just ensure she is looking after children for the right reasons and not just for the money.  Make sure she shows an interest in your little one and you feel you can be honest, open and comfortable with her.  Are you going back to work?   We are hoping Charlotte will start pre-school soon and we have an appointment next week - we will only enrole her for a couple of mornings.  I think it will be good for her to be able to do more painting, playdoh etc as when I try this at home I always end up being painted myself) and with 2 little ones running around it isnt always easy.   Will you tell the childminder she is adopted?  

Not long until 'Lost' is on yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 

Take care

love

Lilianna x x x x


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Oh No not another LOST fan


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hi guys

well done helenb on getting approved  hope soon your house will be filled with lots of littlies, 3 - eeek!

lou - i agree, evening s are v boring when footie is on  (except for the occasional bout of yelling, which i've just had, presume they've scored )

laine - fingers crossed you can get on that dec course 

well our open evening went well i think. dh wasnt the full ticker but dosed up to the eyballs in aspirin made it thru like a trooper! i re-read the letter just before we left and realised it didnt say we would find out last night,dur read it wrong! so anyway, there was a presentation all about adoption, the type of children that need homes and why etc etc, all stuff we knew cos we've been doing tonnes of reading. then we had a1/2 interview with a sw which went really well, we really clicked with her and had a great chat. the only thing that came up was that i really do like little ones, and they were very clear that most of the children they have are 4 and upwards, and that they are recruiting specifically for those children (tho in reality i'm not sure how this works, considering it will take a year at least to get approved and a lot can happen in a year!?) also there statsistics for placements 2004 - 2005 showed they palced more under 3's than any other age group 
ANYWAY, the other issue is that we are only 6 months post IUI txt but she was impressed that we have sought counselling to deal with our issues of leaving our dream of a natural child behind so hopefully that wont be an issue...

so now its a wait to hear whether we can move forward or not. the first workshop is nov 1st and they have to fit in a home visit before then so hopefully it wont be tooo long. a letter tomorrow morning would be very good lol!! they were v clear that not all couples attending last night would be successful...but if they say no they will tell you why. i feel like i'm on the 2ww all over again, dont want to dare think of either scenario yet. aswell dh has just been made redundant today, so hope that this will not impact anything with the adoption if we are lucky enough to get the go ahead 

love to all
kj x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

HI Girls

Well I have got the keyboard on my lap whilst looking at the football with one eye and looking at the screen with the other!

Ever - thanks for your IM.  We are just waiting to hear back from the courts, and you are right what a way to end the year.  we are hoping that ours will be this side of Xmas too.

KJ - hope you enjoyed the open evening and that DH's throat is better soon.  Just read your post as I was typing this.  Hope you hear back from them soon.  Alot can change in a year, you are right but they may different needs when the time comes for you to go to panel.

Gill - Good luck for your visit I am sure you will be fine. 

Lilliana - Welcome to you.  My two girls were similar ages to your two when they moved in ( eldest turned 2 the week after she moved in and the youngest moved in a month later and was 13 months)  Interestd to know why you have shared their names.  My SW has advised me not too but I would so like to personalise my posts about them.  My girls love Boogie Beebies too.

Nats - hope you enjoy the camping for bonfire night, can't imagine camping at this time of  year, I'm more of a fair weather camper.

Mandy - good luck for meeting the child minder.  You will know if it is right or not.

Keli - good luck for your prep course.

Yonny - you need to be 100% sure that you have got tx out of your system.  It is not fair on you or the potential children who you could be matched with.  Only you and dh can make the decision which road to take.  Good luck with whatever you decide.

Helen - Congratulations on your approval.  Hope you don't have to wait too long for a match.

Laine - Hope they have your name on that list for December.

Lou - Work is fine, I love my job.  The first two weeks of leving the girls was hard for them and me, but they now are alot ore settled by it.  We try to do something they will enjoy at the weekends to give them an incentive and something to look forward to.  It was just something simple this weekend and we made pizza together for our dinner.  This weekend we are off to the lights at the Arboretum.  I really miss doing lunch with my mates now I am back at work.

Cindy - Thanks for the IM hope all is well with you.

Went to visit my Dad last night he's in really high spirits, although bored rigid.  They even bring round a drinks trolley with supper and so he's had a tipple of whisky as a nightcap!!  He's due out on Saturday.  The girls are doing great and are settling better with me now back at work.  I am trying to get the eldest signed up for dance lessons when she turns 3.  Youngest has now moved into her bed (cotbed) and we've found her asleep on the floor the last two mornings with her pillow!!  At least she's not getting trapped in the bars anymore or trying to climb out!!

Hope everyone else is ok.

Love
Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

CONGRATULATIONS HELEN ON YOUR APPROVAL!!

Great news.... hope you're not waiting too long for a match!



--------------------------------------------------------------------

NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU MANDY! 

Seems to have been so long. Hope your little boy is doing well. Hasn't time flown this year since we went to panel?! Have you had date for court yet?

Good luck with the child minder, I think you'll know instantly, I know I did with the playgroup. And for all the fretting and worrying I did before I first left her, she's loving it and doesn't seem to miss me at all!! But I've learnt that being a parent is all about worrying!!

Take care x


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## MummytoLottieandLily (Jul 7, 2005)

Hi Karen

Its lovely that you have also adopted two little girls too and of similar ages    I am thrilled to hear they are doing really well it will be lovely when she starts dance lessons too.

We were able to change their names as their birth names were very unusual and we didn't want the birth parents to be able to trace them (they live quite near too) .  However, we have kept them as middle names as it is part of their past and identity.  

Lou, I love Lost and am tryign not to peek at the spoilers...

Byeeeeeeeeeee

Lilianna x


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## MummytoLottieandLily (Jul 7, 2005)

Everhopeful 

I am over the moon that you have your little one too.  

love

Lilianna x x x


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## Ann (Mar 21, 2002)

Hi

So much to catch up on........we have had a sick household for the past 3 weeks and it does not seem to be getting better!!! both girls have had tonsilitis and not together and now our youngest has hand, foot and mouth which is a virus which gives them blisters on their hands and feet and ulcers in their mouths so she has not been a very happy girl and we have all not had very much sleep - and to think we waited so long to be parents     other than that we are surviving.  The girls adoption certificates arrived yesterday and I was surprised as they are no different to my own birth certificate ( short version ) apparently the long version has all about the adoption on but we have to send off for that one.  For the first time today in the doctors they called out our youngests proper name and on her medicine label it had her proper name who would have thought that something like that could mean so much    The weekend that we adopted the girls we also had some pictures done at venture photography and they came back this week so we now have a wall of art of the scott family!!!!! if anyone gets the chance to have some done they are fantastic and take really natural shots.
Helen - a couple who were on the course with us who we have become really good friends with were also approved for 3 and after a years wait they have finally been linked to 3 little girls who will all be with them before christmas - we are so pleased for them, but we also laugh and think just how much their lives are about to change   they are coming round for dinner on sunday for a last relaxing dinner because after that when we all get together there will be 5 girls 3 and under wanting our attention too.
Karen - I have been meaning to im you but you know what it is like! We will be up at my mum and dads over christmas so maybe we can arrange another meet up - maybe some others could join us too  
We were supposed to be coming up in half term but opted for a cottage in Cornwall instead!
Ever - our eldest starts playschool in Feb and i am not looking forward to it as she is my liitle buddy at home and is great company - but I know she will love it.
Lilliana - I remember you from way back I have been with this site pretty much from the beginning but I just have not been that great at posting - it is lovely to hear about your little ones.
Nat - I am also in Essex and I was wondering which agency you were with.
To everyone else a BIG hello - I have a crying child to take calpol too and a husband that wants beer!!!!!!!!
one day I will keep up with this thread honest xxxxxx

lotsa love Ann xxxxxxxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

HURRAY - got dh's crb this morning        Found the best way was to complain to crb people and then they put their top guys on chasing it daily.  Funny how the crb appeared within a couple of days of that happening    Got to ring LA in a minute to say we have it and now we can move on to be allocated a sw for home visits to start.  They wouldn't let us move on until we had both been crb checked.  Honestly, it took soooooo long as they sent off for the crb checks at the end of June.  Took 8 weeks for me to be crb checked and 15 weeks for dh.  I am a happy chappess at last    

Karen - good to hear that your dad is doing ok.  I have been thinking about you.

Laine - fingers crossed you get on the Dec course.

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

YAY Jenny - great news at last  

kj x


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Hi everyone

Been trying to catch up with all your news, there are so many of us now it's hard to keep track of who is up to what, if you know what I mean!

Jenny - glad your DH crb is back at last, it's about time, another step closer!

Ann - Sorry to read that your little girls have been under the weather, it never rains but it pours as they say, hope they are feeling better soon.  Isn't it a great feeling though being a Mummy & them wanting you!

Helen - Already posted my congratulations but will say it again - CONGRATULATIONS - lets hopeyou here something soon.

Karen - it sounds as though your dad is in good spirits which is good, don't forget to look after yourself!

Laine - Wouldn't it be fantastic to get on the next course would mean another  step closer.

Nats - Hope you are keeping well & not letting things get you down, I'm secretly hoping you hear something very very soon! 

Lou - Sorry but I'm another LOST fan, it's got nothing to do with the very dishy actor who plays Dr Jack, HONEST!!

KJ - glad you enjoyed the open evening, I hope the ball starts to move quickly for you now - good luck.

Lilianna - have replied to your posts but just wanted to say another hello & welcome to this section of the site, we are all lovely people, even if I do say so myself!

Keli - good news about the prep course in November, good luck for tomorrow when your SW calls.

Mandy - Doesn't time fly by, YOUR son is now 13 months old - WOW!  Our DD was the same age as your DS when we adopted her & she is now at school!

Gill - How did your first home study go or am I a day to early - I was never very good at sums!!

Sorry if I have missed anyone, I'll be thinking about you & will try to catch up with you.

On Tuesday we had a very nice lady come to our house to talk to us about adoption - She will be a single Mum who is going down this route.  Hopefully we helped her as much as we could & I think she will be a fantastic Mum.  She may find it a bit hard as she wants to adopt a little boy roughly the same age as our DS was when we adopted him.

Our DS was everything we could have wished for BUT he was hard work at times & I had the support of my lovely DH to help when things got to bad, I just worry that she may not have that support BUT with a good support group sheshould be fine.

My DH actually admitted whilst talking to her that he some times thinks about having another one - this is the man who keeps telling me NO! - I'm not going to let him forget that & am going to keep on working on him - I'm not giving up hope yet of being a Mummy to another little boy/girl - we'll just have to wait & see!

Hope everyone is okay, look after yourselves, love & best wishes to you all,
Andrea


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## Laine (Mar 23, 2002)

Hi everyone,

Jenny - Fantastic news!  At last.

Liliiana & Andrea - I love 'Lost' too!  Keep looking at the trailers to see what's next...can't resist.

KJ - Sounds like you had a good night.  Hope you hear soon.

Ann - Sorry to hear you have all been poorly.

Karen - Glad to hear your dad is doing o.k.

Hi everyone else.

Laine x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Thanks for the congratulations girls    Rang LA who said that they had received their copy of dh's crb check as well so now we are being passed to the woman who allocates sw for home studies.  Should hear something in a couple of weeks.  Why does everything take soooo long.  I want to get on with this.  It has almost been a year since we decided to adopt.  Last night dh said it seems so long ago since we went on our preparation course back in March that he has almost forgotten all about adopting.    Ho hum.

Bye for now

Jenny


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## Frankie B (Mar 29, 2005)

Jenny sorry to butt in, dh opened his heart to me today and told me he didn't know how much more of the ttc journey he can take and has said that he would probably want to only try IVF only once.  He did say that he started to think more and more about adoption hence my research tonight.  I just wondered as you went to St Jude's in Wolves which is also where I go are you from wolves??  It's just if we do proceed with adoption it may be nice to share experiences although it's very early days for us at the mo.  p.s very long wait for crb check I bet you were soooooooo frustrated!! Good luck for the rest of the process.

Everyone else it's been lovely reading your success stories and good luck to everyone else who is waiting.

xx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Some news from us.  We've got a court date of next Friday !!!  Now panicking as it is such short notice and I have a diary chock a block full of commitments (some not so easy to change)

Welcome Frankie.  I'm from Wolves too.  Good luck to you.

Love
Karen x


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Hi everyone

Jenny so pleased to read your news!!!!!!!!!!!Hopefully not long till you get your sw its a massive test of patience!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karen truly brill news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had our 1st visit today!!!!!!!!!!! Yippeee it was mostly paperwork and get to know session. Really liked sw and I always feel 1st impressions count. Also this morning got dates in NOVEMBER for preparation course!!!!!!!! Its all happening we have booked 4 visits before Xmas. We are on a huge high tonight as you can imagine. Its a long road but at least we are on our way!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love to everyone and thanks for being there for me to share my feelings!!!!!!!!!!!

Love Gill


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Karen what excellent news  so pleased for you all!

Gill - glad today went well, it really does help when you get on with your SW, you must feel as though you are finally getting some where.

Love Andrea


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## gillywilly (Apr 18, 2004)

Thanks Andrea
You got it she even said we had been waiting a while but it doesnt seem to matter once you start.
Love Gill


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Hey Karen that is fab news, so pleased for you all xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Frankie - yes I live in Wolves, just round the corner from St Judes.  I can understand re your dh as my dh was the one who called a halt to our fertility treatment as he found it too distressing when it didn't work or I had a miscarriage (I lost 3 babies).  I found it very difficult to accept how he felt especially as he refused to even consider adoption for a while.  I didn't want our ds to be an only child so saw adoption as the only route forward once dh said no more treatment.  Luckily when he saw my friend's lovely little adopted boy he did a complete u-turn and is/was keen to adopt.  He has gone off the boil a bit now though as it takes such a long long time to adopt.  Mind you, we did swap LAs in June as our last LA were useless.  We had to have the crb checks redone, despite only having them done in February 2005 and that held us up by 4 months.  If you decide on adoption, get in touch again and we can swap experiences.  If you want more detailed information IM me.  If you do go down the adoption route I would recommend Wolverhampton LA and I have also heard good things about Walsall and Sandwell LA for adoption.

Karen - congratulations on finally getting another court date - and so soon as well.  Don't panic - as you will be fine.  

Gill - your first home visit sounds great. We really liked the sw we had to do our home visit so hope we get allocated her as our home study sw.  It must really help to get over the intrusion and open up if you like your sw.  Things are really moving along for you now with the preparation course in November.  How long have you been waiting to get to this stage?

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi everyone,

hope everyone is feeling better and all the poorly people are on the mend. It's that time of year for bugs with the damp and change in temperature. having said that it is my favourite month, love tramping through the newly fallen leaves.

Our extension is nearly done and am feeling the nesting urge coming on strong, but as ever we have no news. We'll be seeing our SWs on tuesday, but they are still very reluctant to send our details out even though they have no children for us wuithin the LA. Hopefully like Nats' SW they'll be able to put my mind at ease in that they have been doing stuff but just not able to tell us about it yet.

Jenny: glad your CB forms are back...must be relief to know your DH is not a criminal! 

HelenB: congrats on your approval. we have been approved for 2 between 0-6 but are trying to get our LA to re-approve us for 3! So we may be in the same boat. Where are you based, we're in oxfordshire.

Karen: congrats on getting your court date through....do you get any contact from SWs after that date or is it all down to you from then on? I hope both grandads are doing well too.

hi to everyone else......hope youre all well,
XXXRuth.


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Karen

Brilliant news on your court date. Know you're in a panic now, but it'll be worth it!

Hope you all have a brilliant day, official at long last!

Love ever x


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## helenb (Oct 30, 2004)

Hi All

Congratulations Karen on your court date! 

Ruth - we're based in Wiltshire.  You sound just like us as we're also finishing an extension at the minute.  Only two weeks to go until our kitchen arrives! Am getting a bit fed up of living off a camping stove and microwave so it's going to be great! I hope you get some good news soon.  Do you get BMP or Children Who Wait at all? There are often quite a few sibling groups in there.

Has anyone else experience negative comments from people they don't know that well?  I told an aquaintance about us adopting a couple of days ago only to be met with a complete barrage of "have you really thought all this through?" kind of comments and almost insinuation that we were doing this out of some moral obligation like you'd give money to charity to help the homeless or something.    It made me so cross!!  But was so stunned by this outburst I didn't think of anything good to say back!  Why can't people see that we just want to be parents?!! 

Sorry rant over... 

Helen


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## Frankie B (Mar 29, 2005)

Thank you Jenny I'm in Wednesfield I shall contact you in the future if I start the adoption journey if you don't mind. 

xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Ladies

Wow, DH has gone out for a drink so I thought I'd try and catch up and there's so much to catch up on.  .

Helen, congratulations on the panel, fingers crossed it won't take long to find your new family.  I didn't have any comments from strangers but I must admit my Mum had heard a few horror stories and was a bit concerned that we might be taking too much on.  It's all change now though and she adores her new grandson.

Jenny, hooray, hooray it seems like you've been waiting for those forms forever.  At last you can get moving again.

Karen, great news about the court date, hope you have a great day and don't forget to get the SW's to take loads of piccies.  Glad to hear your Dad is doing well.

Ruth congrats on the extension being nearly finished, we're considering having one done for the new house.  Let's hope you don't have to wait too long to fill the house with your new family.

Ann, nice to hear from you but not so nice to hear your girls are suffering, especially little one.  Would love a meet up if you're coming up again.  It'd be great to see your two cuties, and obviously you as well   .

KJ, sorry to hear about DH's redundancy. It's not a good thing when it happens but sometimes it can be a great catalyst.  My DH was made redundant after 20 years with the post office but it made him rethink his career, he now works in a school and has all those holidays to spend with our DS.  It sounds like you're off to a good start with the process and it won't be long until the workshop.

Gill, it's great that you got on so well with your SW, believe me you'll be seeing a lot of them on this journey.

Nats, I can't believe you go camping at this time of year, are you mad?  On a more serious note it's good that they have been considering matches for you, hopefully it won't be long until they find the right one.

Andrea, considering a third adoption and going to the gym.  There's a a masochistic streak in you isn't there?   

Mandy, hope you got on OK with the childminder.  I think everybody is right you'll know what works for you both.  However be prepared for them to make you feel guilty, I've taken to calling my son a little con artist as he wails when I drop him off at nursery and then as soon as I'm through the door I can look back and he's playing as happy as Larry.  I'm sure he only does it to let me know who's boss (and it sure isn't me   ).

Ever, have you got your Court date?  I'm so behind with the posts I didn't know whether I'd missed it.

Lillianna, I've posted to you on the BM thread but welcome to the group.

Lou, sorry to disappoint you but I'm another Lost fan, give up and join us you know you want to.

Laine, hope you get in for December.

Unfortunately, our DS has yet another cold, must have been at least 3 weeks since the last virus ended   .  The coughing is making him so miserable at night that I must admit I gave in and did something I thought I would never do and took him in the spare bed with me.  I can be quite tough with him when he's acting up but not when he's poorly.  We're still waiting to hear about a move date for the new house but have already started decluttering.  DH took a load of things to the charity shop and tip today.  There's nothing like the thought of carting things to a new house to make you a bit more ruthless with your belongings.

To everyone else, hope you are well.

love
Cindy


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi Cindy, sorry to hear that ds has another cold.  My ds used to get them every other week when he was little as he suffered with bronchiolitus.  We bought a steamer for his room and this helped keep his tubes open and the mucus drain away more easily.  It is a machine that you fill with water and plug in and it boils up and steams away until the water has gone then it switches itself off.  You can only use it with littlies really that are trapped in a cot or similar as older ones might get out of bed and poke it and get burned.  Well done on having such a good sort out.

Frankie - yes it will be fine to get in touch with me if you go down the adoption route.  I'm only too willing to help anyone I can as I know that I have needed lots of support myself in the past and it helps a lot to know that people are around to help you.

Helen - I have had a couple of negative comments re adopting.  My friend told me this horror story of this child at her child's school who was adopted and was totally unmanageable aged 6 and had lots of educational needs as he was mentally handicapped and should have been at a special school but his adoptive mother refused to send him to one and insisted he go to mainstream school.  This poor child  had been locked under the stairs with the dog and treated as a dog by his natural mother.  He couldn't even walk upright or speak when rescued by sw aged two and the child barked and walked on all fours like the dog until he was about 4 years old when he managed to walk upright and start to talk.  My friend implied that I would probably be given a child like this as that was all that was available in most cases    Another instance was that my mother was horrified when I said I was adopting and couldn't understand why I would want to do that as she had read lots of horror stories in the newspapers but she has come round since thankfully.  Another instance was when another friend met our mutual friend who had recently adopted a child and later said to me that she treated him "just as though he were her own child".  I pointed out that actually he was her own child    People just don't realise what they say sometimes.

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi all,

helen: yes am getting a bit sick of coming out of the shower nice and clean only to get covered in dust in 3 seconds, and I'm sure my waistline is sufferring from the convenience food. But kitchen is being delievered this week, so should be all done inside very soon....(hopefully!). We get BMP and have been trying to get our SW to send our form F out to one agency from that, but that was 5 weeks ago and they still have not told us if they will or not. Are your LA goong to send your details out straight away or will you have to wait the standard 3 months?

As for stupid thigns people say......i was out last night with my brother and SIL (who pg and is due in jan) and she actually started saying how i shouldn't be too stressed or eager to get my children and should just enjoy being ourselves as adults alone. I have to say I mostly bit my tngue, but couldn't resist mentioning in a slightly sarcastic voice that "yes, so people have been telling me for the past 5 years". I felt a bit mean cos she did blush and went quite quiet, but why are we the only ones who have to be sensitive to everyone elses feelings.

Another "friend" told me that adopted children would be "damaged goods" and had I really thought it through.....nice eh?

Have had a very nice weekend so far, my aunt was visiting so we've been mooching, doing some walking, doing a bit of sightseeing, and cracking a bottle or two in the evenings! Very pleasent.

Anyway better get on and do some DIY now, hope you had a nice weekend,
XXRuth.


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## Hobbs (May 8, 2004)

Hello Ladies

can i join you, my DH and i have decided to adopt.  We are on a fact finding mission at the moment before we contact social services to start the adoption journey.  I assume its social services we approach? Is it?

After our last DIUI we decided that 3 was enough, the emotional stress was awful and not something i wish to go through again (I have been posting on the donor sperm thread).  We have so much love to give a child and feel that we could be fantastic parents if only given the chance.  I don't really know what else to say to you all, except hi.  Any advice you all have would be much appreciated, if someone could give me a heads up on the adoption route and what it entails that would be fab.

Look forward to chatting soon

Hobbs x


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

Hey Hobbs and welcome!! 

mine is a very similar story to you- only difference is we had six cycles then got fed up. but here we are nearly ready to go to panel after years of ttc and then on year and  bit going through the adoption process.

yes it is your local authority- if you ring the county council or borough council they willbe able to give you the number. sometimes if you live very close by another county you could be eligable through them too. Usually they require a wait between tx and starting the adoption process of 6-12 months, but it is certainly worth calling them now to get some information packs and find out their timescales, and if they foresee any probs etc.  there will usually be a duty social worker who can chat to you on the phone for a while then and there.

good luck with it all, keep us up to date on where you are and ask all the questions you want.
x
kylie


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## alex28 (Jul 29, 2004)

Hi Hobbs - its Alex from the donor thread!  How are you,  Great news you have decided to follow the adoption route too and want to wish you heaps of luck, you and DH will make great parents in the not too distant future. xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Hobbs 

Welcome! 
I'd just like to say that once you've made your first call and received an info pack or a social worker visit, it can seem very daunting. There is a lot to take in and it seems like a lengthy process. Do not let this put you off! From what I've read, I don't think you would be anyway!
I think the scary part is the unknown, basically you're coming over the treatment rollercoaster where you'll be so knowledgeable and experienced, into a whole new process. And that's all it is. Just a means to an end. Apart from, _this _ end will hopefully help you realise your dream!

Looking back we can honestly say it has been an easier and less stressful option than IVF. We've been busy with one thing and another (so you always feel like you're getting on) and in between we've been relaxed enough to get on with "normal" living. And shake off the cloud of infertility.
It's well worth the questions and form filling. I certainly would go through the last 5 years of my life again to get what we have now. A beautiful daughter.

Best of luck. Keep us posted. Sure you'll make wonderful parents.

xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Cindy

Yes we've got a pencilled-in date for the court hearing! Our sw has the date and time, but the court haven't confirmed with us, I suppose they wait to get all paperwork in beforehand, as to not disappoint us.

Hoping beyond hope that this date is right though, because it's Christmas week, and what a Christmas we'll have!!

Can't wait!

Ever


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## Mummytoone (Mar 23, 2002)

Ever,

thanks for your post, we all need to read that at the beginning I think. I get the jitters when I think about it too much.  Am reading The Adoption Experience at the mo, jsut got to the bit about adoption when a child has been abused, scarey stuff..............

Love to everyone

Lou xxxxx


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

ever,what a lovely heartfelt and honest post. sometimessimple and straight forward is best!

I have found the adoption journey much easier than the investigations and tx for male factor azoospermia and di iui. long and at times frustrating, but always reassuring and hopefull.

hope your journey is the same.
xx


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Hi ladies

It is really going to take me a while to get to know everybody and what stage everyone is at. Well our visit went really well the sw was nice and friendly, she just asked us a few questions about our background and about things that we filled out on our expression of interest form. We are starting our prep course on the 10th of November it runs for three weeks once a week. As it turns we have been lucky to get on this course as it has people from all over Northern Ireland on it. And they only run the course once a year, so if we hadn't got on this one we would have to wait a whole year to get on the next one.
The sw said she thought we should have the whole process done in 6-8 months. So hopefully this Christmas will be our last as a couple on our own. 

Lou where did you get your book? I have just got the new issue of the AdoptionUK which is quite interesting.

Ever well done on your court date what a fantastic early Christmas pressie.

Hobbs   on the start of your journey.

 to everybody.

LOL Keli


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Just popping into say 'Hello' to Hobbs - wishing you well on your journey.  

Surfing from work so can't post much....

No news here - filing out yet more forms and waiting for references from HR before we can apply to have an sw allocated.  Hoping things will speed up as the week goes on.  

great to hear everyone's news.

magenta xx


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## Hobbs (May 8, 2004)

Hello ladies 
Thankyou all so much for the lovely welcome and hi to those from the donor thread.

I have taken the plunge and have phoned the county council and they are sending me out an adoption pack. Scary stuff!  The women i spoke to was lovely but took 10minutes to tell me about how damaged the children were... i'm not sure if she was trying to put me off or not, she told me that they hardly ever have children under the age of 2 to adopt.  I'm sure if we wait though a younger child will come along.

I'm also in a state of apprehension as i go out on my first placement as a student midwife tonight... 
Its going to be strange going back to being a student again and having to follow my mentor around like a little lost sheep.  I'm a registered nurse and normally have my own students to mentor so its a little bit frightening not being in the driving seat. I'm terrified to be honest.

Will let you know how i get on.

Love Hobbs x


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## alex28 (Jul 29, 2004)

Hobbs - well done on making that first step - i believe they try to put people off.  We were told we would have to wait at least 6 months before they contacted us but here we are 5 weeks after information session being offered an interview!!


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi Hobbs

Well done on making that first step! It's true, they do try their best to put you off at the start! We were told that we'd hear all the worst case scenarios, the idea being to make sure the committed few were interested enough to go further. It's quite normal, so I know it's daunting, but once you've learned more about things, it'll make sense. And yes it's true that there are lesser numbers of babies but that's more down to people not just giving their babies away like they used to. But we know of a couple who got a baby at 4 months, which I know is rare, I think the more common is like ourselves, a toddler - well she was 19months when we heard about her. But there's always a chance. Don't give up and keep your options open.

We always said we wanted as young as possible, but when we were approved, I was willing to take any child of any age, I was so excited!!
As it turned out, we still got to do all the "baby" stuff, except the sleepless nights thankfully! I think we got her at the best age, she's interesting and funny and into everything and learning lots. A newborn baby does little apart from sleep and cry!

Best of luck with your midwifery placements! I've always dreamed of doing that job, funny how I work in an office! I know what I'd rather be doing and you never know what might happen in the future, in between us adopting again!

Let us know how you get on  x


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## naoise (Feb 17, 2005)

Hi Hobbs just wanted to say well done on making the first step. It is really nerve wracking to make that call, but now you have done it you won't look back. I hope you get on OK at work, I just started a new job last week and feel like I haven't got a clue. But I guess we all have to start somewhere.

We are starting our prep course on the 10th of November I am soo excited my head is spinning with everything at the minute. We have also been told that there are very few young children, but then they also say that if as in our case that as we won't two we have a much better chance. 

So we are just keeping an open mind and think that what we get is what is meant to be.

LOL Keli


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Hi all 

welcome to Hobbs and well dne on making that first call - its scary isnt it? I think they always are quite negative initially, but dont let it put you off....

well we've been chewing our hands off for a week now waiting to hear if we are moving forward and onto the prep courses in nov/dec. i finally gave in today and phoned and asked how long it would be till we heard as i was going insane  the answer was somewhat ambiguous - lady went off to find out and came back and said we had we were on the list for a home visit and that someone would be calling us shortly. I said did this mean we will be on the prep course and she said 'well i'd say your information and forms were being progressed' so am now in limbo land - not entirely sure if this means we are through to the next stage or not aaaarrrggghhh! patience is not a virtue i was blessed with....

hi to everyone 
kj


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Kj - hang in there I'm sure you will hear something soon - it sound really promising!


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

New Home this way girls

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=39879.0

Love
Karen x


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