# Just need a shoulder to cry on



## Mrs__G (Oct 8, 2013)

Ok where to start we gave been trying to conceive for 2 years. Hubby is not the must supportive of people he has a child from a previous relationship who lives with us TV's majority of the time apart from going back to his Mums every other weekend. Everybody around (I mean everyone close friend next door neighbour, person across the road, someone at work) are all pregnant and I'm losing the will to live . I love my stepson more then anything but so desperately want a baby of my own, someone to call me mummy. We have had tests done one of my tubes was blocked which had been unblocked and hubby has slightly below average morphology and motility. I also have low egg reserves for my age (31). Not many people know about my infertility issues as I feel a bit like a failure. I ve waited until I had the right circumstances to have a baby and now I feel like I'm being punished for it. I don't know what I want to get from this forum other then a miracle to get me pregnant. I just feel like I'm at the end of the road. We've looked at IVF obviously we would have to self fund but I feel so guilty taking that kind of money away from my step son when he wants to go to Disney world so much. His mum is so selfish (who also is pregnant again) and doesn't do anything with him, he means so much to me and I want him to be happy.


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## yogabunny (Sep 12, 2012)

Hello mrs g
I didn't want to read and not reply.   everyone here is really supportive and friendly and it helped me as I didn't tell many people for a long time. It really helps me to have somewhere to vent, where everyone totally gets it. 
It's not everyone's thing, but there are lots of supplements and eating advice posts on here, and success stories... Hubby might find some maca and vitamen make the difference.... I find that these things give me some things I can do to take back control of the situation.
Are your tubes clear now? If they are, you may not need Ivf, perhaps IuI which is not as expensive. This forum is full of people who can help or just listen when you're fed up.
You sound like a very caring person... Don't forget to take care of you too. 
Xxx


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## Mrs__G (Oct 8, 2013)

Thank you for your reply, can't believe someone has replied. Yes both tubes are unlocked. Left tube has been five all along, right tube was blocked when I went for a HSG, I then went for a op to clear the right tube and they put the dye through and apprantley it came through slowly. Don't really know what that means. My hubby us 43 and I feel that time really isn't on my side. You mentioned my hubby taking some supplements? He takes the well man supplements now are they different to what you are taking about? Thank u again for your reply x x


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Hi Mrs_G, sending you lots of hugs.

Having step children and going through fertility treatment is harder than anyone can ever imagine.  We have a stepchildren & infertility support thread under 'coping with infertility', if you feel up to it then I can guarantee that we'll know how you feel.  It's not that we don't love our stepchildren (if we're lucky) it's that we have to deal with all of this and our partners perhaps not be so involved as they already have a child, the ex factor, extra money challenges ...... I adore my stepchildren, it's just that the whole situation is very, very hard xxx

I can relate to so much of what you said.  I waited until the right time to have a baby, I was responsible and didn't have a child in a terrible relationship, I finally found an amazing one and he had two children and a vasectomy and now my time has run out.  Sometimes it feels like fate, that I was never meant to have children  

Although my DH's situation is different, as his vasectomy has caused the damage, he has pretty much all abnormal sperm, very low motility and terrible morphology.  We did see an enormous improvement using Vitamen, Maca, Lycopene, Flaxseed and 1000mg Vitamin C.  Depending on how involved & excited your DH is about TTC, it can be a big challenge to get them to take so many tablets though  

xxx


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Mrs G 
I know you mentioned that your reserves are low for a lady of your age.... but could egg share be something that you can consider if you need to? As another lovely lady has mentioned.... IUI may be beneficial - my husband was diagnosed with a zero sperm count and after 9 months on wellman multivitamins he had over a million swimmers.

I take it, that if you hubby isn't keen on talking about the subject, donor sperm hasn't been brought up.

There are a number of avenues you could look into, but you need to be on-board together. Does your hubby know how badly you would like a biological child of your own, together? Maybe a good talk is a good starting point - then you can glean what you would both be happy to consider.

Wishing you all the luck in the world - but as Yogabunny has already said, FF is here to support you.

As an interim, it may well be worth checking out the thread Molly mentioned : http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=554.0

If there is anything we can help you with - please shout - hugs
Sheila


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## yogabunny (Sep 12, 2012)

Wellman is exactly what I was thinking, I'm sure that is already starting to work.  Other supplements are on a big list on the alternative therapies topics...

Nothing came through my tubes when I had that op. The right hand side had a drip , when he squeezed it! So yours sound good and able to pass eggs down !!

Lots of luck xxx


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## Mrs__G (Oct 8, 2013)

Thank you so much for the replies. 

We've been taking the well man and well woman supplements for about 2 years, but not tried the other supplements so I will have a look into those. Can you take too many supplements or doesn't it matter.

Hubby knows how important this is to me but it is always a difficult subject to bring up. 

We've also both been having reflexology since the middle of feb.

Hubby has a lot of sperm, his count was quite high but the mortility and morpogy were low. 

I'm really close to my step son and it is a really good distraction as I always put on a brave face, love him to bits.

Will have a look at some of the other threads and hoping to get a lot of support from this site has taken me a while to pluck up the courage to post something on here as I am so used to keeping it to myself. I have only told one of my very close friends who has been a rock to me throughout it all x


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## yogabunny (Sep 12, 2012)

Here's a full on list! I think read through and see what you think might help you. Maca is the one I am looking at for me and DH: 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=294994.0

Glad you have a rock   those friends are amazing. I have one or two who I told first, love them so much, so accepting, I know if I told them I was going to adopt a baby rhino to be able to be a mother they would back me all the way. We have to remember to treasure those brilliant mates, not always who you think either!


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## sweetgirl (Jun 8, 2014)

Hi Mrs_G, i am totally understand what you feel. I am so jealous to hear that my friend, 26 years old pregnant again after having one baby already.  my husband and I have to work harder to get pregnant which some can easily get. This is our IVF for second time. 5 eggs but only two got fertilization. My husband got sterilized when he was 20 something, so i have to go through IVF to become a mom. I am filled with remorse and guilty for abortion i had when i was 22  years old. I already suffer from the torture and pain to see others children run on the ground play games.  What you experience is painful but you are so positive about your stepson.  Life is fair,  everyone has his day! Keep head up and be spirited. Keep in touch ! 

Best regards,

Sweetgirl


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## Mrs__G (Oct 8, 2013)

Thank you for your replies, sorry it takes 
Me so long to reply sometimes I can't bring myself to log on to this site which is silly I know.

The doner sperm is something hubby is not keen on at all, and tbh his last SA showed that he had a good sperm count bug low mortility and morphology which I'm hoping it will happen with IVF and ICSI. 

Found out today that someone else is pregnant at work, I just feel the world can get pregnant and I can't. I know this is not true.

Thank u again everyone your support means the world to me 

Xxx


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