# Meeting birth parent



## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

I know somewhere on here there was a thread on this but can't find it!

Things haven't been arranged but it's a strong possibility we will be meeting with bm and want to be prepared with questions, I've got a few but don't want uncomfortable silences so thought more would be useful. Dh & I have expressed our willingness to meet with bm but just waiting to hear. (I like to be prepared & don't want to rush our questions!)

Thanks for your help


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

I'm planning on asking
How she chose names? 
What she enjoyed at school / did she have hobbies- something along those lines it's good to know if she was sporty or artistic anything a child might inherit
One of my children has a fairly unusual feature which makes her very beautiful ( obviously don't want to give details ) so I want to ask if she's any idea who passed that down. 
That's about it really.  I presume sws will keep the conversation going and have encouraged her to prepare questions for us so I'm not going to ask too much as it might feel intimidating x


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Thanks Diva,

I'll have a think about main few I want to ask as don't want to offend bm. Very nervous about it but also looking forward to finding out more so we can help blossom in the future when she starts asking questions. Just got to hope bm agrees to the meeting. Will your meeting happen b4 you bring your lo's home?


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Yeah and I'm glad about that I know its not for everyone but it suits me.  X x


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## Ally Wally (Mar 1, 2011)

Hi Trinjac, 

The sw will lead the meeting making sure there are no awkward silences. Our bm was very prepared..she had more questions than we did. She even asked us what sort of 'discipline technique' we would use. That threw me! We took her a hand-print of our man which she loved and showed her some photos on my phone.  I asked her how her pregnancy was, why she chose his name, if she really liked music (as our little man loves it!) It was quite awkward talking about him as I was so proud of him and I felt strangely guilty talking about him. The meeting lasted about 30 min and although we were all very nervous, I am so glad we did it. She was really lovely and it cleared any misconceptions we had of her. We had a photo of us together which will go in his life story book. Hope this helps.


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

We asked birth mum how she had chosen the name, cravings in pregnancy, about the birth and who was with her, how little pink's siblings were currently doing and what they're like (they are currently fostered so have contact) hobbies and interests and what she would like us to include in our annual letters. If you would like to read about our meeting it's all on page 90 of my journal


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## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Thank you everyone, you've really helped  
Emotions are all over the place at the mo as we're beginning intros tomorrow and then have bm meeting planned for Thurs   we feel ok with this as then it's out of the way and we can just get on with being a family!  However not sure if bm will turn up but at least we'll be prepared if she does. 

But thank you to all who have posted their experiences & ideas it has really helped


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## Zargus (Jan 9, 2012)

Very interesting post.  Our LOs bm expressed interest in meeting us and we have said we will.  We may even meet with maternal grandmother but not sure if she will want to.  Not sure when meeting with bm will happen at the moment and even just thinking about it now makes me feel very nervous.


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

We are due to meet BM as soon as we can leave LO with grandparents, it's really difficult when all your support group are working so the meet will have to be in school holidays (my mum works in a school).


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

I saw a Q about this on netmums, and a poster who was an adopted child said she wanted to know the time they were born. That would have never occurred to me to ask.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Hoppefully the time/weight of birth is contained within the CPR, if not then it's definately something to ask BM...And the SW too if meeting the BM isnt appropriate x


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