# 44 - too old?



## hickson (May 1, 2006)

Hi 

I am 44 soon, and thinking about doing ivf again with my own eggs. 

Any stories/advice of hope at this age either naturally of IVF ?

H X


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi H,

Just to say, people do fall pregnant at 44, 45 even older,  but, as my OB gynea pointed out, its very rare. I was 44 going on 45, and I was immediately given the 'donor eggs' advice. She was lovely, but said that cause of the age of our eggs, they tend not to fertilize. and she pointed out she'd been in the business for 15 years!!  When I asked what the chances were of getting pregnant through IVF with my own eggs, she told me 1-2 %. So, as you can imagine, my husband and I felt completely deflated. I tried for a year to conceive, and didn't, so as I really wanted a baby, decided to go down the DE route. I'm currently having medication and preparing to go over to Spain for the transfer. Really hope things work out for you if you decide to carry on trying naturally, but they didn't work out that way for us, so after a lot of soul searching, and grieving that I couldnt use my own eggs,  we decided to go down the DE route.
We couldn't wait any longer, time was running out, and we now feel really positive about it having spoke to people who've done the same and haven't looked back.  If you need to know any more please ask. We're going with CREA, in Valencia, who are excellent, and their success rates for double transfer are 65 %!
Good luck, Ali xx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hiya


I desperately wanted to get pregnant with my own eggs at 43/44....and after having kids naturally when I was younger... I was horrified when all the docs said it was a no go..... I insisted they were wrong and had 2 rounds of IVF with my own eggs, it was money down the drain..... it does happen...but not very often...egg quality at 43/44 is really poor... so its such a slim chance... its worth pursing if you have lots of cash... Im sure I would have conceived with my own eggs eventually....but we ran low on cash...so we've had to move onto DE
sorry to not be more positive but the stats speak for themselves  
LilY x


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## Courgette (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi

I know what the stats and the doctors say ... we had all that too .... but sometimes, they get it wrong, thankfully!


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## hickson (May 1, 2006)

Hi..

Wow own eggs at 47?  .. Thats great.. How did your recent scan go. Did you find what you are having?.. did you do anything different..take anything? 
H x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

..yes, it is fantastic but I think Meeps conceived naturally right?

am pretty sure I read somewhere that your chances of conceiving in your 40s are higher naturally than with IVF....not entirely sure why this would be but you do seem to get more success stories with natural conception at that age rather than with IVF

good luck!
Suitcase
x


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi, 
Think Meeps was extremely lucky to conceive, at 47!! but good luck to her.  The chances are so, so slim. We were told by our Ob Gynae that the chances of us conceiving through IVF (me at 44) with our own eggs were 1-2%, so naturally we couldn't even contemplate it. It was such a long shot, and we did try for over a year, and then felt we had no option but to go  down the DE route which was recommended to us. and the odds are extremely good now at 65%!!  So fingers crossed... and  we're due to fly out to CREA in  Valencia for the transfer next week-end. It's been a pain having to take all the med, including a horrible nasal spray, but hopefully it'll all be worth it. good luck to all us girls in the same boat!! Ali xx


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## Courgette (Oct 13, 2009)

Wishing you all the best Ali   

Yes, I was extremely lucky and yes, Suitcase, I did conceive naturally. After our very poor test results and all the negative responses from the doctors & consultants, we did look seriously into the DE route but for various reasons, decided against it, but it was mainly because of my age

Hickson, no I didn't do anything in particular! I am fit, healthy, eat well, don't drink, smoke and religiously took folic acid for 3 years ... I must admit to thinking I was menopausal when I was actually pregnant because I really had given up hope
Whatever route you take, I wish you the best of luck   

xx


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hiya, 
That's great Meeps. Are they watching you closely? What was the reaction of family/friends? Do feel quite self-conscious being older and, as you prob know there are more risks with us older ladies! pre-eclampsia, diabetes. the horror stories are endless! and the press is full of all the negative stuff. but I'm feeling quite positive. If we're not successful when we go for transfer, we'll go again with frozen embies.. will do all we can. Good luck for yr pregnancy   keep us posted.
Ali xx


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## Oceana (Aug 31, 2010)

I would have to agree with suitcase I think your chances of conceiving naturally are probably higher (or if not at least the same) when you are in your mid 40's. Also as the eggs are older there is a greater chance of m/c. After 4 IVF cycles from age 40 -42 with no success (2 m/c's from natural conceptions during that time) I am now looking excitedly forward to DE and wish I had looked into that option more, sooner.


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Oceana,
Really sorry to hear bout yourr miscarriages. Yes the eggs tend not to fertilize, don't quite know why, its just an age thing   Best of luck for the DE. a lot of us 40 somethings  going down that route. DH and I are  off to Valencia next wk-end for our first (and hopefully last!) transfer. Scary!. Will try to keep you all posted!
Ali xx


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## Courgette (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi Ali & all

So far my pregnancy has been plain sailing ... I am really well (blooming as they say) and the midwives & sonographers I have seen have all commented initially on my age and the big surprise that I have conceived naturally, but have also said that my only risk factor seems to be my age. Our nuchal scan results at 12 weeks could not have been better so we opted not to go for further (diagnostic) tests and keep our fingers crossed that baby would be fine. I feel that it was initially a miracle that I even conceived, then I was hugely fortunate not to have miscarried, and to be here now, still pregnant makes me think that this baby deserves to be here, whatever   
I see a consultant for the first time at 20 weeks and I am wondering if they may insist on monitoring me more closely and possibly not allowing me to go over 40 weeks, but if he is like everyone else, they'll just leave me to it! 
I am not at all worried or anxious however, I still feel 27 never mind 47 and people are generally very surprised at how old I am!
Without exception, everyone has taken our news really well, even my 'grown up' children who might have thought I should know better!!! If anything, everyone seems more excited because it is such a massive surprise!

Ali, I wish you all the luck in the world for next week and will be thinking about you   

x


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## Oceana (Aug 31, 2010)

Hi,
Ali - Best wishes for Valencia, let us know how it goes and your impressions of treatment there. DH and I are looking at Serum since there is so much positive feedback here for Serum.
Meeks - great to hear how you are going and your positive and not worried, I think our own instincts are often your greatest asset to rely on. Keep us all posted.


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## Courgette (Oct 13, 2009)

Thanks Oceana, how soon are you looking at starting DE treatment? I guess it can't happen soon enough    x


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## Oceana (Aug 31, 2010)

Hi Meeks,
We are loking at February, and yes, already counting down


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi,

Meeps- Thanks. Good to hear your pregnancy is going well. There's has been such a hugh rise in over 40 pregnancies, natural and assisted, these days, that I don't think people are really that shocked, but it is still more unusual that yours was natural. Good the midwives and Dr's are keeping an eye on you, 'spose it's cause of potential problems like high blood pressure and greater risk of gestational diabetes, but it sounds like you're doing fine, and it's great your 12 week scan was ok. Best of luck for seeing the Consultant. I don't think there's any real reason for older ladies to be more anxious. Most pregnancies are plain sailing for over 40's I've read. so we don't need to believe the hype!

Oceana- Best of luck for Serum in February. where are they located? I haven't heard of them but sure they're great. Keep us posted. 
The only real headache for us has been the medication- feel like I'm rattling at the moment! and the discrepancies between Spanish and English brands, and clarifying dosages. apart from that I'm looking forward to going out there. Will def keep you all posted.
Ali xx


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## Oceana (Aug 31, 2010)

Hi Ali,
Serum is in Athens Greece
If you go to the Greece section of this forum you will find a lot of happy people raving about their treatment there. Ruth, a fertility nurse from England (I think she is in Spain now) is helping organize it all (her service is no additional charge and she can also arrange for an English nurse Sharon to be there for your treatment also I have read) Ruth is coordinating things with my specialst here in Australia for all the tests, prep and drugs. Etc.
My specialist who is going through the forms with me has said that the tests etc they have requested are very thorough so I am very positive about this.


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Oceana,
Yes I had heard of Serum. Great that the tests are thorough (they were for us too) and especially if you can get an English speaking nurse. that will be a huge help. I would say that the only problems have been with some of the interpretation (mostly the meds)  Didn't realise you were in Australia. Wow!
Keep me posted. Best of luck.
Ali xx


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2010)

I know two women who have conceived naturally this year at 46 and 48.  One lives in the gambia and other is in the UK.  neither were trying so were not stressing about getting pregnant and the UK lady did not want any more kids.


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Shad,
Blimey there's hope for us oldies yet!! I'm just 47 but it's taken a year what with all the different blood tests, and I had to have a hysteroscopy so they could sort out my lining. considered too thick. We were told by our  Ob Gynae that DE was the best route.  . Where are you on the DE route? Going abroad or here? Best of luck to you !!   Ali xx


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## barbara1 (Aug 3, 2010)

Hi Meeps,

Congratulations and wishing you the very best through the 9 months journey.

Shad,

Extremely right on your opinion. I believe stress free situation can actually helps a lot, and i will send my best regards to all those that nature did offered them this last miracle.


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## AngelaR (Jul 22, 2010)

Hi - I've just been for our first visit at the Fertility Clinic .... to basically be told that at 42 almost 43 that my chances are virtually zero.  Well roughly 1%, which is as good as zero.  The doctor told me that really without DE and DS we would be wasting our money.  Money that we don't really have.  I think if we had money we would give it a bash and see how it went with my own eggs and DS, but when he told us the statistics .... that in his experience of working at the Hospital for 25 years, he has not seen one live birth in anyone my age.  That's a huge statistic.  Of course, who is to say that I would have been his first .... but then again, the odds are stacked well against me.  We have decided now to give up this dream and move forward ..... adoption is our next route and I have to say I'm quite excited about it.

I hope I don't fill any of you hopeful ladies with too much disappointment.  But I had built up my hopes prior to my appointment at the clinic and it felt like a hammer blow when the Doctor spelled out the stark facts for me.  I wished I'd been a bit more prepared.  I just hadn't expected the chances to be so slim.


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## Courgette (Oct 13, 2009)

Hi Angela

Good luck with your adoption journey but I just had to say that you shouldn't give up entirely!

..... your story is exactly identical to ours ..... we were given the same 1-2% odds by the consultant and he made us feel very stupid, like we were wasting his time! DP also had low sperm count and motility - I was ovulating but was told that the quality of my eggs meant that a viable pregnancy was virtually impossible.
We looked into our options and I began trawling this site for inspiration and we seriously considered  donor eggs and ISCI but as I am quite a few years older than you, I was struggling with it .......
We put thoughts of pregnancy to the back of our minds and tried to move on with our lives and then it happened, naturally!
I don't want to give you false hope, I know my case is pretty miraculous and I am so lucky but I don't think you can ever say never


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## AngelaR (Jul 22, 2010)

Hi meeps - no you are absolutely right.  I have been told that I am producing eggs but because of my age, the quality of them would be very poor and it would be all the rubbish eggs left as all the good ones are used up first (that was the Doctor's laymans terms to spell it out to me).  But you are the proof that these things can happen so you are absolutely right who knows.  I'd love for it to happen but have accepted that adoption may be my best hopes.  But wow, it's so good to hear such an encouraging and happy story ... especially with our circumstances being so similar    xx


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## barbara1 (Aug 3, 2010)

Hi Angela,

Adoption is a good idea too, but Meeps situation has proven otherwise, and so with many others. I know of a particular friend that got naturally pregnant at 50 with twins, though she delivered them prematured at 7 months. Both babies and mother are in excellent condition. Some times i find it difficult to believe in most consultants prediction. I also believe that when one takes away her mind from it completely, then some suprises can happen. Don,t close all doors, consider all options, Greece, Ukraine, Russia and CZ are all in the region of Euro 3500 - 4500 for DE.

Wishing you the very best in this delicate journey of ours

Barbara1


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Angela R -sorry to hear your news. Best of luck for Adoption.  Yes we went for IVFDE and it worked for us- I'm currently 41/2 wks pregnant. at 47!!  We didn't bother doing IVF own eggs, as were told by our OB Gynae that it would be a waste of time, due to poor egg quality. So we took her advice to go for DE and haven't looked back. but its been a long, stressful journery. Our next step would have been adoption. 

Meeps- hope you're doing ok . how did your 20 wk scan go? thinking of you and wishing you all the best 
Ali xx


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## Lirac (Sep 18, 2008)

Hi Ladies,
Sorry for crashing into the thread! Just wanted to share my experience - I had fertility tests prior to my second marriage three years ago to check the position (male factor problems in first marriage and repeated failed ICSI). I wasn't menopausal but was advised that the chance of natural conception was very slim and even if I did get pg, the likelihood of miscarriage was high.
My grandmother had twins at 46 (natural!) so wasn't really thinking I was too old and was thrilled to be pg at 45 only to miscarry at 11 weeks.
Personally, I felt that I couldn't repeatedly deal with miscarriages and realised that DE might be the best route - had been recommended at initial consultation. Conceived at second attempt and now have a wonderful son.
I think natural pg is more likely to go full term when you have been pg previously - might explain Meeps?
I have never regretted the DE route and would recommend it to anyone, although full of admiration for anyone who stays with the natural route!
Lirac x


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Lirac,
What a fantastic story. CONGRATULATIONS!!  Yes, I've heard that even though many women do conceive at 44/45, many miscarry, or do not go to full term, sadly. Also heard that it's easier for women who've had children to conceive in later life.
Best of luck. I'm the same age, feeling v nervous. an older mum-to-be.! Had first scan.as had bleeding, they detected 2 sacs, one developing, one empty..everything ok DR said,but have got to wait for the next scan to find out more. but would be grateful for one little angel , let alone two! In fact, don't think I'd have the energy for twins! lol!
Best of luck to all those who are trying in their mid-forties, and if you do decide on the DE route, it's a blessing. 
love Ali xx


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## Lirac (Sep 18, 2008)

Hope all goes well for you Ali -my pregnancy was also intially twins but one failed to develop. This was a blessing in hindsight as had pre-eclampsia and consultant said that, had the twin pg continued, the outcome might have been bleak for me.
Was pleasantly surprised to find that there were quite a few older ladies in hospital (and since) and haven't felt too old or odd at all! Hope to try again in 2011 so would be older still ...
Sending lots of     
Lirac x


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Lirac,
Sounds like it worked out for the best for you then in the end. blimey pre-eclampsia! I know that's supposed to be a risk. You too. hope everything goes well. Good to know I'm not the only oldie mum!!   
lots of love Ali xx


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## Loll (May 2, 2010)

Hi Ladys
Hope you don’t mind me butting in. i am 44 (just) and DH is 32. I have had 3 children from previous marriage and my DH has none, which is why we are ttc. I had a reversal back in feb 2009 but my right tube is damaged and blocked due to endo some yrs ago. We had a natural chempreg in Feb 2010. Started dwn the ivf road with my own eggs end of April 2010 given 8-10% chance. We did the short protocol and had 8eggs collected. One was immature but the other 7 all fertilized and the Doc was very pleased with my response to the treatment and more than pleased that i got 100% fertilization. However they did not stick and the Doc said i should try again as i didn’t have any hurdles to jump i just went straight through them! He said he would give me 20% chance on next go and although he would like to give me a better success rate said due to my age he couldn’t but said i had responded like a woman in her 20’s ( i should be so lucky). Due to monies and buying a house and the fact my Dh said he couldn’t stand another BFN we decided to continue naturally. We had always said that we would try ivf the once and seeing as i had a natural chempreg we felt that they was a chance it could happen for us. Last month i went to see my own GP and discussed contraceptives (should i stop trying but take precaution now that i was approaching 44. He said that it was a load of rubbish about been too old and as long as my health and eggs where still viable we should give it more time!  He agreed that 100% fertilization was fantastic and proved i had good egg quality but with only one good tube then more time was what i needed! Sometimes i feel positive about this but at other times i feel so confused and deflated. My DH is in the forces and comes home on the weekends, and so its not always easy for him to be here when i ov and this also plays a roll. This last weekend i used conceive plus lube to help give the sperm a better chance of been around when i ov. Today is day 12 and i should ov (in the past i used a clear blue monitor and always ov on day 12, When we decided to ttc naturally we stopped using it and thought we would let nature take its course, but i still keep in my mind my most fertile days) So i used the lube on days 8.9 and 10 and hoping it has helped!

Its great to see women 44+ on this thread and fantastic about Meeps natural conception it give us all hope

Hang on in there everyone and lets keep some positive stories going, be it with own eggs or DE we can do this

Much love to all
loll


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## iguazublue (Nov 3, 2010)

hello 

not sure if i am replying to thread or one person sorry - not yet worked my way around the site  - just discovered it and is amazing to read about all your experiences - hope its ok to add something 

I am 43 - no children yet but been trying for 4 years with husband (but i didn't meet him til i was 39) - and had failed ivf with own eggs and now about to go spain for donor eggs.  Am finding the process hard as all by email and lots delays but am excited as just been told i could be called out there any time between 15 dec and 15 jan  (hoping its not nye or something as i will have to go on my own and flights hotels might be fun..)  my husband has two teenagers by first marriage and so only doing this under suffrance for me but he is great and will support me - but ive had to  borrow huge amounts of money to keep doing this and am feeling increasingly old and tired - and wondering if i am crazy for continuing  when maybe someone is trying to tell me something ?

I'd love to hear any success stories of people who have gone through the donor egg route? 

thank you x


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## barbara1 (Aug 3, 2010)

Hi Iguazublue,

Welcome to our mist, you have not done anything strange. Motherhood is natural, tho  with lots of sacrifice at a later age, just like most of us in the forum here. When the gains start rolling in, then you,ll be the most happiest mother in the world. Having said this, i havn,t got alive birth pregnancy yet, but only mc,s in which am still trying to sort that out and i believe that will come to pass soon.

Why don,t you start with less expensive clinics and with countries that can offer you more that 2 embryo transfer. Greece, CZ, Russia, Ukraine, Cyprus, you may look into their thread and their success rates are fantastic too.

Wishing you all the very best in this field
Barbara1


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Iguazublue,
Really hope things work out for you in Spain. Me and dh went with CREA in Valencia for DE IVF after our OB gynae recommended it. Found the people to be really friendly, and professional. the IVF assistant who corresponded with us all the way through, even came to the embryo transfer with me in October! She was great, really dedicated. and our good news is that I'm currently nearly 6 wks pregnant!  
Do hope your clinic is a good one, and that things work out for you. Going for a double embryo transfer up's your chances to about 65%.!
Best of luck,
Ali xx


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## ♥MillyMax♥ (Nov 21, 2005)

Hi all

Just to add my 2 pennith  

We have been TTC for just over 7yrs, 4 IVF's and sadly subsequent miscarriages, we didn't meet till I was 33, DH40 and stated TTC once married @ 36/43, so already falling into problem areas (older Mother issues blah blah  ) this brings us to now, we still have one frozen embie but had thought of going down the Array CGH protocol @ Care Nottingham, where the embryos are chormosome tested b4 being transfered...however as I only produce 7 eggs, 4 fert we decided that too much handling off such a small number of eggs might be too risky with no +'ve result (ie not chromosome effected)...sorry if I'm rabling just trying to give our thought process for deciding on our next path.

We still have one frozen embie with our previous clinic (ARGC), which is a blastocyct embie but not been chromosome tested and as a blasto cannot be (for those unaware blasts are 5/6day old embies once thawed they need transfering immediately to allow for hopeful implantation otherwise they would perish being 7 days old). So we are too worried to go through a FET cycle (plus I have immue issues) so to spend in the region of 7k to maybe not survbive the thaw/or work but result in a chromosome effected pregnancy we felt we couldn't put ourselves through the emotions of the whole process....and so for us we have decided that the time is right for us to embark on the DE route.

We feel very positive about things just like in those early days of our first discussions on IVF, a new start and we have found a fabulous clinic in the US...Shady Grove....we had though about going to Spain, it's closer, cost is less, I'm short 5ft 3in, dark hair, olive skin...easy donor match  but when we enquired further with a couple of Spanish clinics we found they were bound by Spanish law in only being able to give limited information about the donor...ie only a few facts, age, a few characteristic details and blood group. For me I needed more info ie full characteristics, health history, education history, hobbies, work history, own children and characteristics blah blah to assist us in making a choice of donor as well as if we are successful to be able to share with our child. We approached two US clinics and found all that we required in a donor was the norm to expect from a US clinic plus the additional info of the donors parents characteristics, employment, health blah blah and maternal and paternal grandparents. We decided on Shady Grove after 2 meetings with the Team here in the UK, they were here for the Fertiliy Show and a seperate seminar they invited us to at a hotel in London, plus we have had a video conference call with the leading DE consultant Dr Levy to discuss our history further and are due to go to clinic early Jan to see the clinic and sign all the paperwork. It is more expensive than most DE clinics but they offer a refund program...ie 6 cycles inc any FET's for a fixed fee, costs vary dependent on whether you opt for a 1:1 share, 1:2 share or 1:3 share...($57,000 1:1 - $34,000 1:3) if at anytime a patient want to cancel/stop or no live healthy birth after all 6 cycles a full no quibble refund is offered  for us whilst expensive it gives us hope of there hope for patients in this program.

Hope this has given an insight to others having dilemas over treatment paths and wishing each and everyone of you lots of  and hope all our dreams are answered  
Milly Max
 x


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## Lirac (Sep 18, 2008)

Hi Meeps,
Picked you up on another thread this evening and just wanted to send you lots of     
Will be thinking of you tomorrow especially.
Keep strong,
Lirac x


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## AliG63 (Jul 15, 2010)

Hi Lirac,
Just to keep you updated, my recent scan was fine. showed a fetal pole and heartbeat  so thank God everything ok so far.. the other sac was showing empty. but we're just relieved the other one is ok..

Meeps How're you doin? You post that the 20 wk scan is showing concern. Do hope all's ok?? Will keep all fingers (and toes) crossed for you  Sending hugs.  

Ali xx


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