# ANOTHER MIRACLE cycle buddies no. 6



## suzy

Hi everyone, new thread 

CYCLING

Succotash - FET 

Scruffyted - IVF - hoping for blast transfer 

2WW

Imogen- test day 2/4/06 

Spangle - ICSI 

Suzy - natural FET 

INBETWEENIES

CJ
Tracey72
Cuthbert
Hun
MrsG
Elly
Emma73
Helenab
Suzy
Sunfish
Ali
Helena
Emma70
Lindsay1
Pixiecat
Owennicki
TraceyW
Lisac
Emerald

PREGNANT

Bev FET EDD -

Dee - natural conception - EDD - 2/4/6

Karen - IVF - EDD -

Clare_S - natural conception - EDD - 13/7/06

Cookies - natural conception

Dixie - IUI

Betty M -

Baby Whisper - natural conception

Dopey Dinah - medicated FET

Hi everyone,

If I've forgotton anyone, or any details need changing, please IM me or just let me know on a post. Apologies in advance . I've also taken a couple of people off, nothing personal, just the ones who haven't posted on this thread for some time - let me know if you want putting back on.

Suzy


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## suzy

Hi everyone,

Just a quick one from me. Will do some personals later today.

I've started spotting on Thursday night, 10 days after ovulation. It was a lot less than a period - couple of spots of light red blood and the rest has been just very small amounts of brownish or pink blood. This afternoon, its been a bit heavier and dark red. 

I've done a test and OMG, against all odds, my one little frostie blastocyst,  made it to implantation,  its a bfp, faint but very defo positive.  I'm really worried that its a chemical pg, and have been fretting and frantically knicker checking 

Suzy


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## Clare_S

Suzy

Keep your chin up and be positive.  Sending lots and lots of sticky vibes your way.  I had a very faint pos with Alex and it just got stronger so definately hope there.

Clare


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## emma73

OMG - I havent been on here for a bit - and I come back and you have a BFP - HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm posting a "quick reply" and cant see any of those emoticon thingys - but OMG - comgrats Suzy!

Good luck to everyone else in the 2ww - there is a trend starting me thinks!!!!

I must come on later when I have more time for proper personals and catch up.

Emma XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## Hun

​Well done Suzy!!!!!!​Another HFAM BFP!​    ​
We are absolutely delighted for you - fingers crossed its all implantation bleeding and it subsides soon.....
Love
Hun and henry xxx


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## Hun

And as an update to your list... Dees tootie2 is here- a baby girl!!!


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## Succotash

Suzy,  

That's great news!  Well done.  I know you're worried about the bleeding but please try to remain positive as it doesn't mean it's something bad.  

Hope you have a peaceful, happy and enjoyable weekend.

  

Love Succotash


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## scruffyted

Suzy

That's wonderful news!! I really hope that everything is ok and that it is just implantation bleeding.  

   

love
Scruffyted xxxx


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## Cuthbert

Ooh Suzy, it sounds as if you've done it - CONGRATULATIONS! Fingers crossed that that little embie continues to thrive and keeps making that BFP stronger and stronger.

Jules


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## suzy

No no no, sorry but bleeding has turned into a period overnight,  with a few clots and just did another test and the line is barely visible.
Definately a chemical pregnancy 
Somehow, I don't feel too bad about it - must be because I'm not so full of hormones like in a normal cycle.
Just think its the bodies way of getting rid of an abnormal fetus, and much easier to cope with,  than a late miscarriage.

Feel like I've let my cheering squad down  - you're all so wonderful!

Dh and I now have to go to a friends house for lunch, and the two women there will both be pregnant. Hmmmmm, hate that.

Will start another stim cycle in three weeks, so something to look forward to (and we're moving a week on Tuesday)


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## Dopey-Dinah

Hi girls,

Suzy, sorry to hear your news, hope you got through lunch OK.  Take care. XXX

Sorry, haven't been around much lately.  Combination of holiday and feeling a bit anxious.    I've been spotting ever so slightly.  A bit last week and then again 2 days ago.  Hardly anything at all but enough to make me worried.  It's brown not red and although I know it's likely to be nothing of importance, I can't help thinking the worst.  Put this together with the fact that I haven't got any symptoms to speak of, apart from falling asleep at any given opportunity.  I feel like I'm going loopy.    Also, I'm not due to go for my scan until 18th April which seems ages away and I'm terrified that when we get there, there won't be anything to see.  OMG, I sound pathetic.

Can't do any other personals just now or I'll lose all that I've typed (been there before).  Love to everyone else, hope you're all OK.

Debbie XXX


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## Hun

OH Suzy, I am so sorry to hear that you little blast didn't stay put. 
And sorry if the cheering squad upset you....I guess we just like good news... 

You sound in remarkably good shape considering, I am sorry again that it wasn't to be...

Dinah - sorry to hear about the spotting. It really is so common but I am sure that doesn't stop the worrying. One day at a time sweetie.....

Hun xx


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## scruffyted

Oh no Suzy, I am so so sorry   I really hoped it was implantation bleeding and that it was good news  

I am so sorry if we upset you with our messages as Hun said we were all just so so pleased for you.  

You really are sounding very strong and for that I   to you.

I really hope that when you move into your new home-lots and lots of luck moves in with you   


Love 
Scruffyted xx


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## scruffyted

Hi Dinah

As Hun says spotting really is more common than we know in pregnancy. Have you had a chat with your midwife or Dr?

Really hope everything is all ok and please take care.

Love 
Scruffyted xx


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## Succotash

Suzy - oh my goodness.  Ditto what everyone else has said really.  So sorry that this was not the time.  I actually found my chemical quite consoling in a way as it followed 2 bfns.  It gave me hope that it could work again.  Great though that you've got a plan and will be cycling soon.  

Debbie - The worry just never ends does it.  Everyone else has already said it.  My GP said that 40% of all women get some kind of bleeding during pg.  Is there an early pregnancy unit within easy travelling distance?  It may be worthwhile going to your GP to get referred there, to put your mind at rest.  Will be thinking of you.  

Scruffyted - Buckets of good luck to you for tomorrow.  Hope you have a smooth transfer and look forward to hearing how it went.  

Love Succotash


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## Imogen

Hi everyone,

Suzy - I am so so sorry your bfp turned into a chemical pg.  I have had that happen too and it is very hard to be so 'high' and so 'low' in such a short space of time.  I hope that the lunch was bearable.  Sounds like you've got a busy few weeks ahead, which in some ways helps, I guess.  Good luck for the moving and for beginning the next cycle.   

Debbie - I know what you mean about being scared re the bleeding.  It is very common apparantly, but knowing that doesn't help when you're scared stiff, does it? I bled quite a lot twice with Rupert but he hung on in there.  Stay calm, take one day at a time, we're all gunning for you  

Scruffyted - so hope tomorrow goes brilliantly for you.  Looking forward to hearing how you get on. Good Luck!    

Imogen.x.


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## Imogen

Sad to say that we had a BFN today.  

Seems my 'tiny clanger' wasn't enough of a gladiator to hang on in there.

Feeling very very sad.    

Need to find the energy to make a formal complaint to the clinic as I do strongly feel that Dh's severe virus during tx was the reason for his devastating sample (which made my 16 lovely eggs pointless) but finding it hard.  Dh says 'never again' to  tx at the moment and he is being so distant and cold with me that I wonder if I could face it with him either.  I know he is trying to cope with a horrible situation too, but I could do with a bit of love and support (or even some basic friendliness) at the moment and it just isn't there.  

I will try to speak to the clinic to get something back so we have a chance to try again but I must say I'd rather just crawl under the duvet and go to sleep for a week.  Not an option with Rupert to look after.

Thank God for my scrummy wee boy, that's all I can say.

Sorry for such a downer.

love to all,
Imogen.x.


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## Hun

Imogen

I am really sorry sweetie. Sending you a massive hug. 

Hun xx


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## Hun

Scruffyted
GOOD LUCK FOR TOMMORROW!!!!     
Hun xx


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## Cuthbert

Imogen, I'm so sorry to hear your news. You're bound to feel very sad after all that you've been through and I hope that your DH is able to share your sadness with you sooner rather than later. It's all been a bit of a nightmare and I wish you luck with your complaint.

Thinking of you.

Jules


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## Cuthbert

Suzy, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Good luck with the move and with your next cycle.

Jules


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## Cuthbert

Scruffyted, good luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you.

Debbie, as the girls have said, lots of people have bleeding during pregnancy. Hopefully this is nothing to worry about but you are bound to worry. I hope that everything's OK.

Hi to everyone else.

Jules


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## suzy

Imogen,

I'm really sorry your little embie didn't stick. You must be feeling awful and especially with what your dh's going through.

I can fully understand how you must feel short changed with your lovely eggs and dh's sperm - and why you want to complain. It would be fab if they would give you another go.

 to you,

Love,

Suzy


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## suzy

Hi everyone,

Scruffyted - how are you doing. I'm really interested how you went with your blasts. Hope ET goes well today. My ds was a blast transfer. Funny how you feel negative about blasts - for me, I almost think that a mature expanded blastocyst is a short cut directly to pregnancy - if I saw one of those under the microscope, I'd almost be booking in at the midwifes clinic thinking I was pg already 

Debbie - Lots of women get bleeding in pregnancy, but I'd be feeling the same as you if it was me. Is there any way you could bring your scan forward? Do they know about your bleeding? Could you have a private scan (not sure how it works in the UK)

Hun - no the cheering squad didn't upset me , nice of you to mention it though - you're always so thoughtful. How's Henry - hope he's over his illnesses.

Succotash - poor you being ill - SO glad it was't glandular fever as that would have really stuffed things up - great that the antibiotics worked. Good luck for your transfer - how many are you thawing?

Dixie - fantastic news, congrats!

Spangle - how you feeling on your 2ww. Great about your frosties and your embies sound really good quality too. And that's fantastic about dh's sperm too



Well I've been a bit down since my bfn. But its amazing how easier it is to cope than a bfn after stimulated cycles - they seem to go on for ever, so it feels like you have more invested in it and youre also pumped full of hormones - I never really thought they affected me that much, but obviously they do if my current mental state is anything to go by. 

I've had to put up with two social occasions with my pregnant friends, and last night had to listen to them going on about their back pain and insomnia etc etc, whilst I just sat there feeling excluded and thinking I can't believe you are doing this (especially as one of them knows about our treatment). The thing is, they are normally very sensitive about other peoples difficulties so it just re-inforces my opinion that very few people know what you're going through unless they've been through it themselves. Its not that they are bad people, just that they don't get it.

I also have a friend who had a FET the same time as me. She had two eggs, both fertilized, from her IVF#1, one was transferred and she got a ds, the other was transferred the day before my FET, and I'm sure she's now pg. She hasn't had a period and had a little pink bleeding last week. I'll just HATE it if she's pg - I'm really dreading the news. Its like all those friends who were my support when Jake was little, have now become a threat. Find it difficult to cope, and keep repeating Hun's mantra of its irrelevant to me.


Anyway, must go, weather is lovely here at the moment - sunny days, balmy 23 degrees - not to make anyone jealous or anything 

Hi to everyone else,

Suzy


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## Hun

Scruffyted
are you OK ?  
Hun


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## Hun

Spangle
When do you test?
Hun xx


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## suzy

Just had to tell you all this.

I'm so upset by another pregnancy annoncement. My friend got pregnant round about the time I did with IVF. She had to eggs, two embies, one transferred and one frozen. She just had a FET the same time as me and got a bfp yesterday. How neat is that!! Its not so bad really as she didn't just look at her nusband and get pg - oooops, like the others did.

These pg women are all in my mothers group that meets every week. I'm surrounded by them . Keep using that word of Hun's - Irrelevant!

Love,

Suzy


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## helenab

HI everyone, sorry i've been awol for a few weeks but been manic with work, been away for a few days, busy with Sienna DH, and buying a house!  Not much then  .  

Suzy, I was gutted to see your news - such a rollercoaster.  You're so right about it being irrelevant, keep saying that.  Sending you big big hugs.  

Hun, how are you sweetie?  Not seeing so much of you on Eastie thread so guessing you're v busy with work and sickness bugs etc!  how is Henry?

Debbie, sorry to hear about the bleeding.  Hope everything is okay.  

Spangle, you must be tesintg soon so sending you a big  

Scruffyted, hope yoiu're okay.  sending you lots of positive vibes.  Sienna was a blas transfer and we willl defin try and go for one again.

Jules, how are you?

Hi to everyone else.  

We are getting ready to cycle again - will got on the pill for a month at the end of this month and I guess EC will be sometime in early June.  Just when we are due to complete on our house!  

Love HelenaXXX


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## Hun

Hi Girls
Just got home after a long day in Brussels doing environmental legislation with the Europeans        

Suzy - keep the faith hunny - Chant that mantra!!!!   Sorry to hear your feeling down about another of your circle....but remember the magic word.  Sending you hugs.

Helena - are you at liberty to sat where your new pad is......looking forward to you practically being my neighbour!

Hi to everyone else. Getting worried that scruffyted hasn't posted - I just hope tf happened and was ok for her on Monday....if you are reading ST let us know youre ok! Spangle are you there too

Hun xxx


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## emma73

hello all - sorry i have been awol too - but I'm still around! Suzy was so sorry to read of your negative, I cant imagine how hard it must be being surrounded by pegnant ladies, I dont know anyone who is pregnant thank god!!

Hello to everyone else - I have to read all the posts properly before I can do personals - I just wanted to check in before Suzy erased me from the list. 

Love to All xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Sorry I went awol, our computer crashed Monday eve, all fixed now thank goodness!

Imogen-I am so so sorry to read your news-sending you lots of hugs. I really hope you get somewhere with your complaint at your clinic.

Suzy-Thank you for your positive thoughts on blasts, did make me feel a little better about them, especially that your DS was a blast.  I'm so sorry to hear you are down, totally understandable though-why is it we don't seem to be having much luck on this thread lately   must be very hard that your friend has got a BFP from the same batch and at the same time as yours should have been   sending you huge hugs, it is so hard when we are surrounded by it all in our everyday lives as we have a wonderful miracle and everyone else seems to have their siblings.

Hun-Thank you for thinking of me sweetie   I am trying hard to repeat your mantra "it has happened once it will happen again"   

Helena-It's lovely to see that blasts do work, I didn't know your DD was from a blasts, gives me a bit more hope   Lovely that you are going to be cycling again soon.  

Succotash-Hope E/T went ok yesterday or if not they are turning into lovely blasts for transfer tomorrow.   Hope you are feeling much much better. Had to rush DS to emergency doctor Sunday as his rash got much worse, luckily it is an allergy and we think it is from some soap my mum used! So he has some cream now and antibiotics as it became infected! Never easy is it!

Spangle-How you doing sweetheart? Been thinking of you, when is test day?    

Hi to everyone else.

E/T went ahead on Monday and we had 2 lovely blasts put back and to our suprise 2 frozen!! So so hope that we don't have to use the frosties though.    Test day is Thursday the 13th, really hope it is a lucky number for us and that we go on to have a wonderful Easter.    I have no symptoms at all so feeling negative especially as today I have AF type pains and I'm sure when i was pregnant with DS I had very veiny (.) (.) which are not hurting at all.  It is so hard as we look for every symptom! 

Much love
Scruffyted xxxx


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## Succotash

Scruffyted - Wow, 2 blasts on board and 2 frozen - that is terrific. Pg rates are sooooo much higher with blasts and much more physiologic.   So glad that you've posted ..... was a bit worried, so phew. Sorry to hear about your DS. Was it carbolic soap, you know what grannies are like!?  Test on the 13th, well that's only 6 days away! Are you an early tester or can you hold out? Will be thinking of you.

Imogen - So sorry to hear of your result and the ensuing fall-out. It never rains but it pours. Hope you and your DH are doing OK. It can be terribly difficult when you are both feeling needy at the same time. 

Suzy - When I read your note I thought crikey not another one. Just keep repeating Hun's mantra. 

Helena - Goodness you've been busy. Not long till you start tx now.

Emma - Hi

Spangle - Hope you are holding out. Thinking of you. 

Well, has been a bit of a white knuckle ride in the Succotash household. Haven't had transfer.... yet. All 3 embryos survived the thaw with all cells in tact so we decided to culture them further.  Has been very nail-biting. <and hair standing on end>

One hasn't done anything but the other 2 are starting to compact. Just praying that they keep going and don't arrest. Day 4 is Danger Day, isn't it? Terrified that they will just arrest. Back-up plan is to thaw our frozen blast tomorrow. Transfer scheduled for tomorrow am with acupuncture before and after. Have been indulging in lots of displacement activity to keep me occupied. Have scrubbed carpet with 1001. 

Hi to everyone else,

Love Succotash


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## suzy

Hi everyone,

How is everyone? Its our move day tomorrow, so we've been busy packing. Also been ill, with nausea and vomiting (just like morning sickness without the baby 

Succotash, scruffyted and Spangle, how are you doing?

Suzy


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## Imogen

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been a bit awol.

Things not been good here.  Dh is very very depressed after 'no sperm' sample and tx failing.  He had a few days off last week and we had a talk.  He thinks he should leave us as 'we would be better off without him' and he feels he can't cope at the moment.  He's been looking for somewhere else to live (!) so it feels quite a real possibility. I feel very upset.  Sensibly he went to the GP who gave him antidepressants - I really hope they help.  Must say I feel quite shakey too. Against my better instincts I watched the 3rd episode of that stupid 'Family Man' prog.  Instead of histrionics about bombing clinics and digging up dead children (how bad was that?) why couldn't they have shown a story like our recent one?  There is plenty of 'drama' in the 'ordinary' effects of tx without their stupid storylines.  Felt very upset (easier to feel upset with BBC than Dh!) and if I had the energy I'd write and complain.  Aargh.

The more I think about our recent cycle the more I feel that the clinic did not act in our best interests.  I wrote to the HFEA but they say it is a 'medical matter' and they therefore 'can't comment'!  I've written to the clinic and given them 14 days to respond to me.  Dh not involved in any of this, it's up to me. 

Sorry not much in the way of personals.

Succotash, scruffy and spangle - hope you are doing good  
    all best wishes to you    

Suzy - so so so sorry to see your news and sorry to hear you are feeling down.  It IS hard, isn't it? I have 3 friends who have all recently had 2nd babies and sometimes it's hard.  1 of them spends all her time patronising me anyway so I'm avoiding her but the other 2 are really really nice (and so are their babies) and I don't want to miss out on seeing them and I'm truely happy for them so I see them often which is lovely but sometimes I have a wee sob in the car on the way home.  I wish I could have a bit of babydust too (and for you too!)...  
Sorry to hear about the bug and hope the move goes well.  

What's the 'irrelevant' thingie of Hun's all about then?  

Okay, that's my 20 mins and Rupert's awake again!!!   He seems to be on sleep strike during the day at the moment!!!

Speak soon.
Love to all, Imogen.x.


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## CJ

Hi all this is just a very quick hello, I can't believe we have finally got back on line yippee!!, never knew how much I loved it (and used it). Haven't had access to the net since the 16th of march feels like for ever.

I will tried to catch up tonight on how everyone is.
Tracy I will reply to your PM tonight too but just wanted to say I wasn't ignoring your question Hun just haven't had internet.

Lots of love to you all, amazed at how much I missed everyone (how sad am I)

Love CJ xx


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## owennicki

Imogen - so sorry to hear all that is going on in your life at the moment, as if a failed cycle is not enough. I am sorry you DH is taking it as such a personal hit, i think it is part of a man us women will never understand, just heartbreaking.  My DH often feels them same that it's all his fault and we would be better off without him, so he's not alone, but big hugs to you both.   Just keep talking!

Suzy - so sorry about your news and now to have a bug is just a kick in the teeth, best of luck with the move.

Succotash - you know how to keep us on the edge of our seats, your very brave i think i would rather have them tucked in and wait, but i admire your strength at trying to sort the strongest ones out!     keep going little embies!

Scruffyted - excellent test day is thursday, not long now keep the positive thought's going and we will be awaiting the news!   

Hi - to everyont else i have missed

I have been looking into treatment here more seriously and i was pleasntly suprised to find the costs of iui is quite reasonable, then i went on to look into transfering DH's frozen sperm out and they want it carry it out as it's pre-chemo (irreplacable) so i have to pay for someones airfare and the courier to bring it out! they say around 896 GBP depending on flight price!!  we can't afford for me to fly home as it is let  alone pay for someone else!!  next step is to look into me flying home to collect it, but it puts the cost of our treatment up dramatically, we could only just about afford it anyway, so feeling a little sad at the moment, why is nothing ever straight forward when it comes to IF??  

had better go call Birming Womens before it gets too late.

love Nicki x x


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## scruffyted

Hi Girls

CJ-     your back on line hooray, we have missed you!!  how did the move go? Hope you are settling into to your new home ok, have the boys excepted their new home?

Succotash-Really hope E/T went ahead and they are snuggling down now    I'm not an early tester, I have always waited for the phone call from the clinic-which is very stressful, I may do a test on Thursday morning this time though, not sure I am strong enough to take another neg phone call. When is your test day??   

Spangle-Hope you are ok, I'm sure you are due to test around about now, really hope it is good news for you.   

Suzy-Hope the move goes well and that lots and lots of luck moves on in with you.    Sorry to hear you have been poorly, it always happens when you are busy eh! Hope the packing up wasn't too stressful.

Hun-Hope you are well and you are all over the lergies!!

Nicki-I didn't realise you now lived in America-where abouts are you? Do you like living there? Why is nothing ever easy, have you any family that are planning to come and see you that could bring it over for you? Hope you can sort something out.

Imogen-So sorry to hear that your DH is taking it so badly, men rarely talk about how they are feeling. I really hope the antidepressants work and that you get some answers from your clinic-big hugs to you.  

Hi to everyone else.

Well 2 days to go and not feeling very positive at all, the nearer the day gets the more I think it hasn't worked   I have no symptoms so to speak-only AF pains again today (day 14 tomorrow)   no sore or veiny (.)(.) just have a swollen tummy but i do get that before AF   It is quite swollen but i have no other symptoms of OHSS so can't be that and also didn't get a huge amount of eggs-so not sure what that is all about!

Much love
Scruffyted xxxx


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## owennicki

Hey Scruffyted  -  whats all this negative talk? now chin up and positive vibes please!       
I had NO symptoms with my 2nd BFP, not all pg's are the same, and now you have one you have something to compare to, not like last time!

keep positive 
Love Nicola x


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## spangle

Hello everyone,

Spent ages last night logged on before sight was down for repair and then lost the whole message. 

Sorry to say had bfn on saturday day 12 and then re-tested on Monday had negative and af began her arrival . Saw consultant which made us both feel better and he said basically don't give up and last batch of 5 frosties he has high hopes for. asked about natural fet he said my cycles are too irregular. What a treacherous journey we are travelling. Still feel a bit narked about another negative but is so out of my hands. It has been such a stressfull time in out household, at last we have some breathing space. I did the lot- pieapple juice, nuts, 2litres water, week off work and no hoovering !!!!

Scruffyted- So hope you will get the bfp, got everything crossed for you.

Hun, Suzy- thank you so much for your kind thoughts it has meant a lot. Suzy- hope you are feeling better.

Imogen- Sending you hugs and so sorry to read your news.It is so hard at times when it seems everyone around us has 2 children and we so want another. I cry my tears inside sometimes and have to pretend I am in no rush for another ! what a load of rubbish, it has now been nearly 3 and a bit years we have been on the rollercoaster for number 2.

Succotash- So hope things have gone well for you.

CJ- glad to see you are back on line.

Take care everyone,

love

Spangle

PS St.Jude's support group is going really well had our first meeting last week. I have made some close friends thanks to my last clinic through the support group, as well as this site it is such a support and at times it is great to know people are there to chat to who understand. Thank you girls for your support while I have been a reader during the tough 2 ww.Thank you.


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## Hun

Hi girls

Just a quickie from me....on holiday this week and boy do I need it. Going to try and take Henry to the zoo tommorow if it stops raining...

Spangle- So sorry to hear of your BFN sweetie. I had high hopes for you this time, and really thought/hoped that this was the one. However you have a great batch of frosties there.

Scruffyted -  think positive - if its happened once it can happen again   . Chant at least 50 times and have lots of implantation  visualisation. So hoping that it works for you, I am keeping all crossed. We need a change of luck on this thread - and its up to you - no pressure there then  

Imogen - I am so sad for you, and that things between you and Dh are so difficult. All of 
this is hard enough, without relationship worries too. Things will pass eventually and I am sure there will be the same light at the end of your respective tunnels. Try and keep talking, and being honest with each other about the way you are feeling...Why is this all so difficult? 
Sending you massive hugs.

Succotash - hope you are ok and the wait is a    one.

Hi to suzy, Nikki, tracey and CJ and everyone else

Hun xx


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## suzy

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't been around much - we moved yesterday and are still getting used to our new place. We are so happy with it - its a great place to relax. There are possums running around on the roof, kangaroos in the driveway and wild bush turkeys in the garden!!!! And its only half an hour from the centre of Sydney. And its got a pool .

Imogen - I am so sorry to hear about your Dh, but stick with it and keep trying to help him communicate. I've been reading a fabulous book called "Conquering infertility", by Alice Domar and found it immensely useful. Its American, but its still very relevant to me and all the way through the book I"m finding bits that feel like I could have written them. Its main theme is how to cope with if and all aspects of it. I'd recommend it to anyone (the counsellor in our clinic recommended it to me. The irrelevant thing was written in a post Hun wrote a while ago about how to cope with other peoples pregnancies. She was suggesting ways to be self protective and said we should think that other peoples pregnancies are ultimately irrelevant to us,  as they don't change our situations at all (I hope I quoted her correctly), and it really helps me to use that word in my head when I'm feeling down about it.

CJ - HIYA - glad you're back and the move went well.

Scruffyted - I',, be thinking of you when you test. I got 24 eggs when I was pg with Jake and was almost willing myself to get symptoms of OHSS (perverse I know!), because they told me I was more likely to get it if I was pg. Well, I was pg, and didn't get any symptoms, so it means nothing. 

Spangle - so disappointing about your bfn - I'm so sorry it was. I'm interested in hearing about your support group. I thought I might start one up here. I worry about confidentiality though (I'm a GP), and would not be comfortable about my patients knowing.

Hun - Yeay - on holiday - fantastic - have a fab time.

Tracey - I'm at the stage of buying ds his first shoes. I know what you mean about feeling sad about them growing up. Its delighful to watch, but you feel a yearning for the baby stage and know its gone for ever.

Succotash - how you doing?? Hope your OK. The waiting is so hard. 

Owennicki - hi again.

Hello to everyone else, 

Love,

Suzy


----------



## Succotash

Hi all,

Spangle - I am so sorry to hear of your result.  It's just horrible the amount of effort we put in.  Your consultant sounds lovely - very much like mine.  Your support group sounds terrific, that's a real achievement.  I would really value a RL support group.  

Imogen - Oh my goodness, poor you.  I really hope you can work things through.  IF treatment can put such a huge strain on relationships at the best of times.  

CJ - Glad to see you back online and trust you are happy in your new home.

Suzy - Taking of homes, yours sounds just fabulous.  And a pool too, you lucky thing - am deeply envious!

Nicki - Hi to you.  Hope you can get the finances together to get the sperm shipped over.

Tracy - I found that now DS is 2, his rate of change has slowed down so it doesn't seem like he's growing up too fast anymore.  Seems like he has been a toddler forever!  First shoes are so very special.

Hun - Hope the holiday's going well and you made it to the zoo.

Scruffyted - You must be on pins right now.  You are so brave not to hpt.  I'm so impatient I find it impossible to wait.  Will be thinking about you tomorrow and wishing you a really big fat positive.  The symptoms thing is weird isn't it, as it can mean so many things.   


Well, we did have transfer on Saturday and of our 3 frosties one made it to blast and one to cavitating morula stage (I believe just before blast), the other just didn't progress.  Now just waiting, though I have to say I feel pretty despondent about the whole thing and think it's all been a bit pointless.  I have the most awful PMS and am under a terrible black cloud.  I'm on daily gestone injections so I'm putting it all down to them.  I have no symptoms happening - no sore bbs or anything.  With my previous +ves I've always had an inkling that something was different.  Ho hum.  Thinking about the next fresh cycle.

Love Succotash


----------



## CJ

Hi girls, boys are asleep so thought I'd pop on see how everyone is.So much seems to have happened.

Hi Scruffyted, great news about your embies getting on board and two for the freezer, they sound like good strong ones . You know I wish you all the luck in the world and have everything crossed for you. I can't believe I've been away so long as you hadn't start stimms when I was on here last. Good luck for tomorrow  and   I'll be wishing it's your time sweetie. 
Move when as well as it could with DH being in control , it took DH, his Dad and 2 removal men to fold up our baby Dan playpen..need I say more 
i took the boys to music class and then for a walk to keep out the way but I think Daddy will take the boys next time. House is nice, a few more things need doing than we first thought so tx is on hold until we can get some money (isn't it always the same though)

Hi Suzy, wow sounds like your living in a zoo  how amazing to see all these animals around your house. A pool too..fancy a house swap 

Hi Hun hope you got to the Zoo? enjoy your hols

Spangle so sorry to hear about your negative  I wish you all the best with your frosties, as you know I'm a huge fan of them so I hope they work for you. I did all the things I did last time and was gutted when it didn't work I just thought doing all the extra little things would help us again, it's good that your consultant has high hopes for your remaining snow babies though, thats a good sign  ((Hugs))

Hi Tracey, wow first shoes, definitely a milestone, we are always saying how fast the boys are growing up, they are both up and walking now too so we will be getting their first big shoes soon, might have to stop calling them my babies then 
I'll send you a reply to that PM  

Hi Succotash, thats really good news about your 2 frosties, I know what you mean about having feelings it's not going to work, it's so hard when you want something so much and go through so much to try and get it  I'll cross my fingers and toes for you, hang in there.


Hi Imogen,   so sorry to read things are very differcult at home, your poor DH, he must be feeling so low to say those things I hope that it doesn't come to any of that and that the antidepressants do help him. IF is such a hard thing to go through, I know my DH and me had a few weeks of talking and arguments when we first found out about his MF because he wanted to me find someone else, we weren't married then and I really think he thought it was for the best (in his head). I really hope you can work it out, would he talk to anyone? my hubby is very private and goes into himself rather than talks so I know men are very reluctant to talk about there real feelings. Thinking of you 

Hi to all I have missed  

Love CJ xx


----------



## Hun

Just wanted to say:

GOOD LUCK FOR TOMMOROW SCRUFFYTED!!!!

I'll be thinking of you all day, waiting, hoping and finger crossing, so try and put me out of my misery as soon as you can....

lots of love Hun xxx


----------



## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Spangle-Have sent you a pm, I am so so sorry to read your news, like the others I really hoped this one would be the one for you. I think it is great that you have a support group and also really good that you saw your cons so quickly. I wish you so much success with your frosties    Take care  

Hun-Thank you for the good luck messages, so lovely to read them, but not feeling positive at all, have had AF pains on and off all day today.   Hope you had a lovely time at the Zoo today.

CJ-Really pleased you have settled into your new home, have you completely unpacked yet? Have you found your cheese slicer yet?  Thank you for your good luck messages  

Tracey-Thank you so much for the positive vibes and baby dust, please please let them work    Bless Max, first shoes, wonderful proud mummy moment but like you say growing up! I remember when I bought DS first shoes (many moons ago now ) and it was so funny to watch him try and walk in them   I guess to him they where so heavy!! It's great fun when they start walking! 

Succotash-Been thinking of you lots, I also have no symptoms at all, i so so hope it is a good sign for us both  , wonderful that you have 2 strong one's on board. I don't know much about gestone injections but I can guess they must have some affect on how you are feeling. I'm not so brave, I have always held off testing as have wanted to carry on the dream that i am pregnant for as long as I can! 

Nicki-Thank you for your positive vibes, you are right it is hard not to compare symptoms but I know I felt very different to this time  

Suzy-wow your house sounds fab, bet your DS will love the pool when he is older, how wonderful to be that close to all those animals, your ds is going to love living there. I know what you mean about ohss, I think possably it's all the water i have been drinking and my body has retained it-so so hope it's a good sign though!  

Hi to everyone else.

Will let you know the outcome tomorrow, really not feeling positive at all-AF pains are getting worse as I sit here  

lots of love
Scruffyted xxxx


----------



## Betty M

Hello girls

Its been ages since I have posted but I have been reading and trying to keep up!

Spangle - I am so very sorry that it didn't work this time. Glad your consultant was positive about keeping going too. Impressed with your support group. Not sure one would work where I am as people are coming from all over so very few are "local" in any sense.

Scruffyted - Hope today goes well  . AF signs are as you know no guide. I was convinced AF was on the way this time but as you know it didn't happen. Will be thinking of you and having my fingers crossed.

CJ- Congratulations on moving house. I am hoping to do the same in a couple of months - we are at the surveys stage and will definitely take your option of disappearing for the day with DD!

Succotash - congrats on your ET - it sounds very promising that 2 made it to blast and morula. I think that the progesterone sends us crazy so I'd ignore it. In case it helps my first 2 positive cycles I "felt" something had happened but this last one nothing at all. I think our bodies just do this to confuse us. Sending bags of   .

Suzy - Really sorry that this cycle did not work for you.  I am sure it will soon. Also sorry about the PG friends. It is hard to listen too. I have felt bad telling two of my NCT group about my PG as mine is having secondary infertility and the other who needs a surrogate as she had ovarian cancer has been trying with a new surrogate for a year. I have tried to be sensitive about it as I know how it feels o be in that position and I am going to try really hard with the PG chat too. I am so unbelievably jealous of your new home. When I was little we lived in a warm country and had a pool so it has always been a dream of mine that my kids would have that too. There is nothing like coming home from school and diving into a pool. Its all a bit difficult in North London though! 

Hun - Hope the zoo was fun. DD loves the giraffes best. Apparently the giraffe house at London zoo has just had a makeover with periscopes to see the faces better so we will need to go again soon. You don't work for Defra do you? I know a couple of people in legal there and have come across some of their environmental legal team too.

Tracey - first shoes is a lovely time. Beware though my DD has turned into Imelda Marcos and become really fussy about which of the incerasing no of shoes/sandals/boots/wellies etc she will agree to wear on any given day. Although maybe boys don't have that shoe gene!

Nicki - Any chance someone coming out to visit you could bring the sperm - it would need to be someone trusted but if they were coming anyway then that would help with the cost?

Imogen - really sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time and that you had such a sad result.  I hope you and your DH find some space to talk - sometimes it is so difficult with a little one about to do just that. In some ways I think the men find it harder - they just do their one thing and thats it - there are no drugs, clinic visits, bloods etc etc to keep them occupied so when they feel it is their bit that hasn't worked they feel like they have failed. Of course they haven't this as isn't about failure or fault at all but sometimes it is hard to make them see that. I hope your clinic take your complaint seriously.

Emma - hi!

Helena - house buying is becoming a bit of a theme on this board! Have you gone for something like Suzy's complete with wildlife and pools or something more like mine - standard Edwardian terrace?

Jules - hello!

Debbie - how are you doing? Hope everything is going OK.

 to anyone I might have missed.

Here is a little bit about me  Warning PG related so you can avoid if you want I don't mind  .Well I went for my "really nervous haven't had a scan for 3 weeks" scan on Tuesday at the Fetal Medicine Centre. The receptionist had told me it was too early for a nuchal scan but got in there and the doc said no so he did it. The Babba was looking fine and dandy - he has brought forward the due date to 27 October (day before DD's b'day!). There was one issue he was a tad concerned with (a physiological exomphalos - a small piece of the bowel outside the abdomen). This can be perfectly normal at this stage (11w2d or 4 as he insisted) but can be a sign of truly horrid things. BUT having done the bloods (which would have shown up as seriously abnormal) and scanned the baby very, very thoroughly and failing to find any of the markers for the horrid things (which should be there by now) he thinks it won't be a problem. I am back next week just to check it has gone away which he thinks is likely. I am so glad I went there and did not wait for my NHS nuchal after Easter as if they spotted this thing it would have been weeks until the bloods were back and weeks and weeks of worry. Oh and my Downs risk was down to that of a 15 year old which is not bad for someone of 39! So I have started to tell people which is a huge milestone. I might even get a ticker....

We have also sold our house and had an offer accepted on another in the space of a weekend! The London property market is entirely nuts at present but that meant we got an excellent price. Hopefully we will move in June.

Doubt I will get a chance to come back on until after Easter so have a lovely break everyone.
Love
Betty x


----------



## scruffyted

Hi Girls

I can't believe it, it's a wonderful   thank you thank you thank you.....
I was so sure it hadn't worked, had terrible AF pains last night!! I am crying tears of happiness, my levels are 321!!!! So so so happy!!
I know we have a long way to go yet and many more hurdles but I wanted to thank you all so so very much for all your support, positive vibes and baby dust     

They think my bloated tummy is due to hyperstimulating and have taken lots of blood to test and will phone me later with the results-as long as my embie(s) are safe I don't mind. Will have to avoid people though as look about 6 months pregnant!!!

Much love to you all
Scruffyted xxxx


----------



## Succotash

Dearest Scruffyted,

  

I can't tell you how pleased I am for you!  You know, I had a really good feeling about this cycle for you as everything seemed to go so well.  Just had a hunch.    How fantastic after all the stress and worry you've gone through.  And what fantastic levels too.  I can imagine how you are feeling right now - it's a wonderful feeling. 

What a great Easter present.  Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.   

Lots of love, Succotash

PS - Did you do anything different this time, protein powder or anything like that?


----------



## Imogen

Ah, Scruffyted,

What wonderful wonderful news!!!  Congratulations  

Have a lovely Easter celebrating your very special news. 


   

love, Imogen.x.


----------



## spangle

Scruffyted

Congratulations         what a lovely surprise and easter gift, enjoy.  

love

Spangle


----------



## Hun

​Well done Scruffyted!!!!!!​A HFAM BFP - I knew you could do it!​    ​
Love
Hun and henry xxx


----------



## Hun

PS Sounds like it could be    to me!!!!
hun xx


----------



## Marielou

Sorry to gatecrash, but had to pop in to say 'congrats' to Scruffyted!


    
Congratulations
on your BFP!!
    
So thrilled for you!

Marie xx ​


----------



## Dixie

Scruffyted, Congratulations!!!!    Have a lovely Easter celebrating your pregnancy!!!   

Hi to everyone else and have a great Easter!!!  Much love and babydust  to everyone! Love, Dixie


----------



## Cuthbert

Scruffyted,   congratulations on your BFP! It's been one heck of a cycle but the outcome's been exactly what you deserved. Here's to a happy and healthy nine months!

Spangle, I'm so sorry about your result. Your consultant sounds really helpful and very positive for the future. And your support group sounds great. Look after yourself, hun.

Imogen, life sounds tough at the moment and you're having to cope with a huge amount of pain. I hope that the clinic respond to your complaint and you get an apology from them. Make sure that you're getting some time to yourself and I hope that your DH sorts himself out soon.

Hi to everyone else.

Jules


----------



## CJ

OMG Scruffyted!! a  thats the best news I had in yonks, I can't believe it. I'm so happy and excited for you, Dh and DS , 
I think it could be twins too as thats a great level.
Still have everything crossed that you have a fab PG  Please stay here with us and keep us informed on everything, oh I'm so excited for you all 

Have sent you a PM to remind you of something a wise lady told you a few months ago (thats me BTW )

Love CJ x


----------



## owennicki

SCRUFFYTED - 
CONGRATULATIONS
Yippee, see we all knew you could do it, now what did we tell you about positive thinking!
We needed some good news on here and you were the one to do it! like CJ said stay with us! 

Much happiness Nicki x x


----------



## ~ Chux ~

Sorry to gatecrash girls but I just had to say.................

      

 *C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S S C R U F F Y T E D ! ! ! * 

      ​
I was really chuffed to read of your   and here's to a happy and healthy pregnancy.

Chux xx


----------



## Clare_S

Scruffyted  fab news on your BFP

Here's to a very happy and healthy pregnancy

clare


----------



## baby whisper

Scruffyted,

What wonderful  news!!! hun a big Congratulations to you 

love baby whisper xxxx


----------



## Dopey-Dinah

Scruffyted  "CONGRATULATIONS"  

Keep positive and look after yourself and your precious cargo.

Debbie
XXX


----------



## Dopey-Dinah

Hope everyone is well and looking forward to the Easter break.  

I have my first scan on Tuesday and can't wait.  I'm so nervous this time because of the bleeding and what have you.  Can't help but worry that it's all gone pear shaped and when we go on Tuesday there won't be anything to see on the scan.  In my more sane moments, I tell myself I'm being ridiculous but then loopiness takes over again and the worries return  

Does anyone know if Cyclogest or Estradiol Valerate tablets could be causing the bleeding?  I've got to keep taking both until 12 weeks.  Bleeding is not heavy and is only ever brown or pinkish (never fresh).  Sorry tmi    On a more positive note, I'm still feeling sick so I think this is good   see I told you, totally doolally.

Keep your fingers crossed for us on Tuesday that everything is OK.

Love Debbie
XXX


----------



## suzy

Scruffyted - brill news, good for you!!!


----------



## Betty M

CONGRATULATIONS Scruffyted!!!!!       

Debbie - fingers crossed for the scan. I am sure it will be fine. I reckon the nightmares are all normal I had them every night until the night before my last scan when for a change I had a good scan dream. Cant help on teh cyclogest though.

Love to everyone. Have a good break. Talk to you all when I get back on Monday.
Love
Betty x


----------



## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Thank you all so so much for your lovely messages.  Reality has kicked in today and I am so so worried something is going to go wrong!

I hope you all don't mind but I'd like to still post here, feel too scared to post anywhere else.

Much love
Scruffyted xxxx


----------



## encore

Hi ladies,
can i butt in? i had a baby girl last year and will be cycling again in about 6-8 weeks.  pleased to see the recent good news.  can't believe i'm going to do this all over again....


----------



## Bev xxx

Hi everyone

not been on for ages and ages.  but what great news congrats to you scruffyted...hope you are ok and not still in shock.

I am going to spend the next week catching up on whats been happening.

Bev
xxxx


----------



## suzy

Scruffyted - you HAVE to keep posting here cos we all want to know whether its 1 or 2!!!!!!

Encore - welcome to the thread, congrats on your baby girl - here's   to no.2

I'm sure we're on a roll now


----------



## emma73

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I have just come back from a weeks break and this is great news to log on to. Wishing you a very happy nine monthsXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Emma XXXXXXXXXXXXxx


----------



## fragile

hi ya can i join you?  i started dregging today - yipeeeeeee!  my ds is 2 had a cycle last yr but ended in mc so third & last time for us.  i have posted on the main cycle buddies board but feel a bit of a fraud there as i have already been lucky once & many of them haven't yet had their little miracles.  i know when i had my first cycle of icsi when ever i went to the hospital & there was a couple their with a young child i felt very resentful as in why are they here they have their baby.  now its me & there have been a couple of times when i have had to take my ds to the hospital with me & i feel so uncomfortable being there with him.  it makes me feel so greedy wanting another baby so much when some people haven't had their chance yet but i guess all you on here know exactly how i feel.

anyhow the good new on this board gives me hope, glad to have found this thread!

mo x


----------



## suzy

Hi Fragile,

Welcome to the thread, nice to meet you 

I know what you mean about feeling awkward about having our baby with us when going to the clinic or the hospital - we take ours with us everytime as we have no relatives who live near us. But I always tell myself that at least they know that our babies were hard won. That we didn't get pg by accident or just because our husband looked our way. 

And don't feel greedy either, I think we have a right as much as anyone without IF to want as many children as we wish (doesn't mean we'll get them though )

Good luck with your cycle - I should be d/r from Friday so will only be a few days behind you,

Love,

SUzy


----------



## helenab

Sorry, been away for  Easter break!  

OMG!  Scruffyted - I am thrilled for you.  Best news in ages!    

lots of love
Helena
XXX

will catch up on all the posts later today but got to get ready to go out for family lunch day  !


----------



## fragile

hello everyone

thanks suzy i just know how gutted i felt when i saw people with a child at the clinic when we were having a cycle. yes your right our babes are hard won.  hoping most of my scans will be on work days so ds will be in nursery though as he is in the terrible twos stage so hard to keep him under control whilst having a scan!!!  bet you cant wait to start on Friday.

I'm on day 3 of dregging now & seem to be getting a lot of sharp twinges in my ovaries, started about an hr after 3rd jab.  i don't remember getting these the last times or is my memory playing tricks on me?  not overly worried unless anyone post a reply that says i should be - ha! ha!

hope every one has had a good easter, have had lovely weather until today, looks like its going to chuck it down so not sure what I'm going to do with ds, will be avoiding any play centres thats for sure, always bedlam at half term!!

lol 
mo x


----------



## pixiecat

Hi everyone
Hope I can join you, I have 2 year old twins and have just started stims for my 6th and final cycle. 

Fragile 
Looks as if we will be going through this virtually at the same time, it will be great to have a cycle buddy.
I know what you mean about the main boards, everyone is so nice and supportive but I feel so guilty especially going for no 3 when they are desparate for no 1.

Suzy
hope you can join us on friday the more the merrier!

So far I have a bad headache but that is about it, I am on a short protocal so have done 1 day down regging and 1 day injections so very early days.
My 2 are not in nursery so dh has to take time off to babysit as I am a  clinic in london and can no way manage to get them there on the train or keep them still for a scan!

Pixie xx


----------



## Hun

Hi to all the newbies and welcome!

Succotash did you test?

Hun xxx


----------



## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Welcome to Encore, fragile and pixiecat-really hope you are all successful in your upcoming cycles.   

Suzy-Didn't realise you where starting d/r this Friday!! So so hope this is the one for you.    

Debbie-How did your scan go today?   

Succotash-Can't stop thinking about you-when is test day or have you already tested early!!   Really hope it's a BFP for you   

Hun-Did you have a lovely week off? Bet it was hard going back today  

Spangle-Hope you are okay sweetheart-  thinking of you.

CJ-   Thank you so much, I will reply very soon. You are such a wonderful thoughtful person - 

Tracey72-Thank you for your lovely txt message , you may regret it as I may just take you up on that!!   You are so thoughtful -  

Hi to everyone else.

I have my scan booked for the 3rd May which seems so far away!! I am so scared that something is going to go wrong   I have no symptoms apart from tiredness which I am taking as a blessing. 

Much love
Scruffyted xxxx


----------



## CJ

Hi Scruffyted, just popped on to say hello, hadn't seen you posting for a couple of days and I was worried but great to hear your tired thats a very good sign  Your scan does seem a while away but it will give your little one/s a good amount of time to grow and get their heartsbeating away  
I found this time between pg test and scan like going through the 2ww all over again (but 100 times worse) have everything still crossed for you. It's a nervous wait but were all here for you Hun   

CJ xx

p.s found the cheese grater!


----------



## suzy

Hi Scruffyted,

I agree with CJ - if you were stressed in the 2ww, it is a thousand times worse in the first trimester - tired is a good sign.
How would you feel about twins? 

Succotash - where are you? Are you testing soon or have you tested already? It looked very promising for you this cycle.

Fragile - know what you mean about having to have scans with your ds there. I have to give mine to the receptionists. Last time I was at the clinic though, my friend, who was having her FET the same time as I, and has a son the same age as ds, was there at the same time for a scan as I was there for my blood test - just co-incidentally.  We ended up looking after each others baby, as each of us went in for our appts. I also felt awkward about that. In a way, I was never really subjected to feeling awful about babies in the clinic as I got a bfp on my first IVF, so never really went through that bad a time - I do remember being very curious about other women's babies though, once in hospital when I was having EC particularly. I've found it much more difficult since having him as I've had three bfn's and now have more of an idea of how difficult that can be.

Pixiecat - hi and welcome to the board. Looks like the three of us will be cycling together,

Hi to everyone else - spangle  

Love,

Suzy


----------



## emma73

Hi  - welocme aboard Encore,  Fragile and Pickie cat - good luck in your comming cycles. 

Suzy  - I really hope that this cycle gives you your BFP. Fingers and toes crossed for you hun. 

Hope you are keeping well Scruftyted, time will hopefully fly by for your scan. 

Hello  to everyone else - I am notoriously bad at personals - but now I am about to embark finally on some tx myslef I promise to try and get better  

I have to call the clinic with my May period - or I may be able to chance it if my next one arrives late April. I apparently have a cancellation slot for August - which is good as we were down for starting in October whcih is when my last IVF cycle  started and I got the negative result on the 22rd of December - dont want a repeat of that. Only problem is that I dont have the cash - I almost have it for the FET but not for the full cycle if I need it. Oh well - I guess I will worry about that at the time!

Lots of love and gallons of baby dust to everyone

Emma xxxxx


----------



## Dixie

Hi everyone!  Welcome to Encore,  Fragile and Pickie cat - good luck in your up-coming cycles.  

Suzy hope this cycle is the one for you! 

Emma all the best for your upcoming cycle! 

Succotash, When is test day?  Really hope it's a BFP for you!!!  

Debbie, hope your scan gave you good news!

Hun, CJ, Tracey72, and anyone else I forgot, I hope you are all doing well!!!

Scruffyted, Congratulations again and all the best for your upcoming scan on May 3rd !  I am sure all will be fine just hang in there. I do know how you feel though, my next appointment is for my 1st trimester/nuchal translucency screen is on May 2nd and I am terrified.  My last appointment was at 9 weeks on April 7th and although the OB did a quicky scan and we saw the heartbeat, I keep thinking about all the things that can go wrong between appointments so I am renting a doppler so I can hear the heartbeat in between visits.  My husband has already written me off as a nutter !


Much Love and   to everyone, Dixie


----------



## fragile

just wanted to say thanks for the warm welcome, still trying to figure out whose who & whose doing what!! off for my lovely protein packed tea so will have to pop back later.

mo x


----------



## CJ

Hi Dixie, just wanted to say   on your  (a little late I know ) I didn't know you had gone for TX recently, what great news, hope your scan is wonderful and reassuring Hun 

Hi Emma great news about staring again   good luck were all here to help you through Hun 

A big   to Encore,  Fragile and Pickie cat  , hope your all settling here 

 to all everyone else hope your all well.

Love CJ x


----------



## Dopey-Dinah

Hi Everybody  ,

Went for our scan yesterday and everything is fine.  1 babba with twinkly heartbeat.  You could almost feel the relief in the scanning room when we saw our wee grain of rice on the monitor.  I was really scared that there wasn't going to be any babies there and hubby was scared there was going to be 2.  Anyway, we're both delighted and very relieved.   

Scruffyted, I know exactly what you mean about the waiting for the scan, I felt like the date was never going to get here... much worse than the 2ww.  how many weeks will you be by the time you get scanned.  I was 9 weeks.  Glasgow Royal don't do first scans before 8weeks unless there is something worrying them.    The reason is I believe, that by 8weeks, the chances of heartbeat not being detected as too early, will have passed and this cuts down the amount of stress caused to some patients who would be told to come back for another scan in a week or two.  How anxious would we have been then, OMG I would have been round the twist.   

Don't worry about not having much in the way of symptoms, I didn't either..... only tiredness to start with but now nausea has kicked in big style so work is a constant battle not to look like I'm about to throw up on the desk (noone knows at work yet).  Last time, I had every pregnancy symptom known to man - sore (.)(.), sickness, tiredness.    This time (up till now) not a jot.  

Hope everyone else is well.

Love Debbie
xxx


----------



## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Suzy-Good luck for starting d/r tomorrow. If i am having twins then that is what is meant to be and it will be a blessing as would much rather twins than none! Just a little concerned about premature labour and how DS will feel having two.   Our 3rd bedroom is very small as well but rather a squeeze than none!  If it is two I will be after CJ and Jules phone numbers for tips!!    Just so worried we won't see anything at our scan!

Debbie-So pleased the scan went well. My scan is done on day 35 so I think i will be 7 weeks by then ( please god) I really can't remember when the sickness etc kicked in with DS but i know I found it very reassuring!   Wish i had something now!

Succotash-I hope everything is ok, thinking of you. So hope it is good news.   

Dixie-It's hard waiting for the scans isn't it-I wish i had a glass tummy so i could see in there.  

CJ-So glad you have found your cheese grater    -haven't forgotten you, will get round to it.  

Hi to everyone else.

I am so worried something is going to go wrong-I keep reading about people going to their scans and not seeing any heartbeats.   Can i really be this lucky and have another miracle/s? (please god) 

love Scruffyted xxxx


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## Betty M

Scruffyted - please try not to worry - easier said than done I know. I worried endlessly up to 12 weeks and as it transpires for no reason.  There is no reason why you can't be blessed twice. Sometimes that is a bad thing about the boards you read far more stories of loss and heartache than you ever would hear about in "normal" world and it increases the worry ten fold and the risk of it happening to you are very small indeed.  I had never heard of anyone with a missed miscarriage until I came on FF - so an additional worry I had never contemplated before. I was so relieved when at my last scan the doc sent me off with an order to "now go and enjoy your pregnancy" . We owe it to ourselves to try and enjoy every minute.  I'm sure you and the bubba(s) will be fine on scan day. 
Love Betty x


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## suzy

Me post coming up.

The following has no bearing on those of us who are pg on this thread. Somehow, your pregnancies inspire me, not the opposite, I know so well how you have struggled to get pg,  and I am so happy and excited for all of you. 

In Australia, there is this thing called a mothers group - a group of women with babies the same age, that meet for company and support. Mine was formed when ds was a month old, a group of us met every Wednesday under a tree in the park. We graduated to peoples houses in the winter and have even been out to dinner without babies. We know each others family and husbands. Only two of them know about my IVF. They all have been my support and friends for the first year of Ds's life.

My problem is that most of them are now pg, and it seems every week, I learn that another is pg. It feels like they now have less in common with me and more in common with each other. I know they are aware that I am ttc, so they don't talk much about it near me, but talk in hushed voices away from me. I feel like an outcast and different, and as if they feel sorry for me.  One of them has her first baby from IVF and is now pg with the second. She went through a FET with me just recently. She is in the unusual and fortunate situation of getting  only 2 eggs from her first stim cycle, one transferred and a ds, and the other frozen and recently transferred and pg. How neat is that?

Things came to a head today, when I arrived home in tears after finding out another one is 15 weeks pg. I feel like I am in a war zone and being hit with missiles.  Dh and I had a long talk - he feels like I shouldn't go anymore as it is no longer supportive and just upsets me, and in turn upsets him. I don't know what to do. He's right, in one way, its not supportive and I hate it, don't look forward to it like I used to - its now something I endure.

In another way, I feel like I should stick it out as they are my friends (and not one of them has any bad intent, by the way - they are all generally pretty thoughtful, but as everyone on this board knows, no-one really understands unless they have been through it). If I stop going, I'll get more isolated as I have no family here. I do have friends without children, and plan to see more of them, but there's nothing like sharing the first year of your babies life together to feel close to someone.

Anyway, just had to get it all down, feel better now,

Suzy


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## Betty M

Suzy

I feel for you. I hope that my similar story helps a little. I have had much the same sort of feelings with my NCT group (which are the same sort of thing I expect you meet at "natural childbirth classes" and then continue meeting after the birth). Our babies will be 3 this Autumn. There are 9 of us in all and about 5-6 of us meet every 1 to 2 weeks - we even all went as families away for a weekend and 3 of us have a little business together - they are now close friends. None of them know my situation other than DD was a long time coming. In turn various of them have decided to have another and lo they do - one is even on her 3rd.  I had been cagey about siblings for DD but hey I am now 39 its not like I could pretend I could leave it indefinitely. I told them about my m/c last year and since then I have basically had to lie about what we are doing as they expected me to conceive again quickly just like they did. Eventually they learnt to stop asking except to ask if everything was OK. The only thing which is a marginal consolation for me (and boy has it made me feel guilty) is 2 of the group have been hit by secondary infertility. I found my feelings about the group varied depending on where in treatment I was - for my miscarriage and unsuccessful cycle (I told them it was another early m/c which in a way I suppose it was - we had embies in there they just didnt make it) I felt very down talking about babies and down about the group but during and between a cycle it was much better.  Also I have found that as our babies get older frankly we are lucky to get any chat at all as they are busy destroying the house, asking for food and generally demanding attention as only toddlers do and this makes it easier to avoid the issue. Maybe its just too early since your last cycle for you to make any irrevocable decisions about your friends? You were all there for each other at the most amazing and challenging time and it would be good if you can face it to keep that friendship going even through the tough times.

Love
Betty x


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## Hun

Hi Suzy

I had to respond -not that I have any answers - but my situation with my NCT group is very similar.

Out of my group (seven of us, all had our firstborns in the space of 6 weeks), three are now pg again. The first told me personally over the phone while I was having IVF. The second (doesn't come to meets often) told me the day after we found out our IVF in Nov failed   (at a big childrens birthday party gathering in front of everyone - I blubbed    - v embarrassing) , and the third didn't tell anyone (or so I believe) until she was about 16 weeks, and I heard about it secondhand, through one of the other girls.

Each one of these announcements was different, each caught me in a slightly different place in my head and on my journey. And I know that the other three are intending to have more babies. They all know about our IF, our failed cycle in Nov and that we are saving up for the next go. And they are all quite sensitive (well apart from  ). After the   incident I felt like I didn't want to see any of them ever again. And I did take a couple of weeks out of meet ups - as it was just after our failed cycle, around christmas etc and I just felt too emotionally charged to deal with it all.

But although the painful feelings come and go, I know that this could be my only chance to do the mummy thing. If I cannot cope with my own feeling about others pgs I miss out on this chance to do the mumything which is what I yearned for for so long before I had him, and my son misses out on the chance to play with the other kiddies (even more important to keep this up given that he could potentially be an only child). So I make myself go - even though sometimes I don't feel like it - and I find it hard watching bumps grow and hearing about scans and stuff. When it all gets too much I have to emotionally switch off, and that where the irrelevant thing comes in for me - I focus on me and Henry and DH - that our lives are good and that other peoples lives are ultimately irrelevant to my happiness. And it does help me as a coping strategy. 

I know I keep going on about it - but for me I know I don't want to lose my friends, and I know its always going to be an issue, so coping stategies are the only answer. And the only thing that really helps me is  instead of trying and wanting to be be in someone elses position, to take stock of my own and try and hold it in a very positive light.

I am sorry you are finding it so difficult. I so understand. And this is a safe place to unload it all. All our pg H4AM buddies know how it feels too.

Sending big hugs to   you all.

Hun xx


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## fragile

Suzy, Hun & Betty, wow.  well we all know how hard it is to learn of & deal with someone else's easily gained pregnancy when ours are so hard to achieve but i have to say i feel a little envious that you have a group of friends with children you can actually meet up with.  i moved when my ds was maybe 7 months old & although  i regularly attend (with sufferance) a playgroup there are no people there my age as most of the children go with their grandmothers who look after them while their mums work.  i only go to the weekly session so my D's actually gets to mix with others although most of them are either younger or a little older than him.  the close friends i did have do not have children & all have lovely houses & i dont feel comfortable taking ds there as i am constantly on edge in their pristine houses & they dont come round to mine so despite the thoughts of how lovely it would be to have a child, him have playmates & me gain some friends i have ended up isolated instead.  

that said i fully understand how it feels as i do work & have some work friends, we just dont socialise outside work.  it feels like a kick in the teeth to hear their announcement & watch with envy while their bump grows.  when i returned to work after a miscarriage the first person i saw was a pregnant work colleague complaining that her maternity trousers were a Little baggy but no doubt she would soon fill them.

when i conceived DS he started off as a twin & week after we lost one baby my sil announced she was expecting then 1 year later she was expecting her second one.  i fully expect when she finds out about my treatment for her to announce her third pregnancy.  wouldn't mind but she went on & on about how she was infertile!

anyhow SUZY i know it is so hard for you to go especially as they talk in secret about it.  do you think it would be, although upsetting, easier if they spoke openly about it?  it may make you feel less of an outcast but instead of feeling resentful & hurt you may be upset but supported.  I'm sure if they all knew your position they, as your friends, would be devastated to think that you feel meeting them is an endurance & upsetting for you.  maybe if you missed a couple of weeks meetings & took time out to think it over?  i just wish i had friends with children to meet up with so dont rush into making a decision to stop seeing them altogether.  

take care

mo x


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## suzy

Hi Hun, Betty and Fragile,

Thank you so much for being so thoughtful.

Betty - I know that I need to face it. I really do not want to lose them.  And I agree with you that its a timing thing. My friend in the group has just fallen pg from her FET, and I had a chemical and she was there on Friday and when I asked her if anyone else was pg she said one was, 15 weeks. I'd also been to the clinic that morning for my blood test and was due to start d/r that evening. And another girlfriend of mine texted me to say she'd just had her baby. And I know what you mean about it getting busier as they get older - it certainly has with our babies. How you doing anyway. Please don't think I feel bad about your pregnancy - quite the opposite really.

Hun - its interesting that they all know about your IVF. I wonder if I could tell them all about mine. One of them who is now 19 weeks, knows about it, and there doesn't see to be a problem. I said something to her like - "don't think you can't talk to me about your pregnancy, if I feel bad, I'll let you know or just won't be there", and now she treats me as normal and I ask her about her pregnancy and things are OK. Its just if I told the others about my ivf, I wouldn't want them to feel more awkward (the other one who knows about it, well its badly affected our friendship, and I still feel hurt and angry that she is avoiding me, and our friendship hasn't been the same since). 
I've always loved your coping mechanisms. You are like a self help book sometimes. "taking stock of my own situation and holding it in a positive light". Well really, if I did that, I couldn't have a better situation and I am blessed. I'm reminded about this every time I go to work - only this morning I saw a woman my age, and had to tell her she had breast cancer. So it really helps to put my problems into perspective. I just have to keep them in perspective.

Fragile - bless you  - your post really helped to put my issues into perspective. Its not that I'm wonderfully popular or anything (I wish ) we get put into these groups at our early childhood centre. I really feel for you being so isolated and had a chuckle about your ds in your friends expensive houses . I go to a playgroup as well, but its not the same as my mothers group, I feel much closer to them.
It would be much easier if they spoke openly about it I think. Still hard though. But I'm not really speaking openly about me either. No-one, as far as I know, has spoken openly about trying to get pregnant, well not in front of me anyway. Anyway, thanks for making me feel blessed to have them

Love,

Suzy


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## fragile

Suzy  we all have our ups & downs on this emotional rollercoaster.  its so lucky we all have a place like FF to post on.  

just wanted to say you sound a lot brighter & more positive today so hope you are feeling a lot better about it all

lol  mo x


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## scruffyted

Hi Suzy

I am so sorry you are feeling so down, it is so hard when people announce their 2nd pregnancies. As you know (as I've cried about it on this thread) there are 13 of my post natal group who have got together every week since they were 2 months old. I have watched every one of them announce their 2nd (and 3rd!) pregnancy all the time I have been trying for no 2. It has been very hard but i have still gone along to the meet up's as they have become good friends-some of them really great life long friends. i remember in the Autumn we all went to our local farm and they all either had a bump or a push chair with baby no 2 in apart from me and although i felt very sad and the odd one out I am glad I went as DS loves his friends and he had a wonderful time. We also have nights out and the last few years us girls have had a ladies day out at Ascot (they taking turns over the years not drinking as at least one of them has been pregnant) Sadly now they are all nearly 4 and at playschool (mostly different ones) we don't meet weekly now. But we still go out once every 6 weeks in the evening and i see a few of them on a regular basis in the afternoon's at the park, beach etc so the children can play.  I have cried many tears when I have come home after going round with a new baby present and card to them one by one. None of them know DS is from IVF and they did ask if we would have another and I said we have been trying, they all kept asking, in the end I said we were seeing the GP and were having tests! They haven't asked anymore-apart from the odd one who said "maybe you are not meant to have another"!!!   What i am trying to say in a long winded way is I know how you are feeling but please don't stop going to your meet up's. These mums were a lifeline to me when DS was small (and still are when you compare notes that they are playing up and it's not me being a bad mummy!) and it is so lovely to watch DS with his friends that he has grown up with and talks to them on the phone! It is also lovely that he knows all the mums by the names and chats away to them all when we see them. 
I hope this has helped and to say I understand. Also you are starting another cycle which is emotional as it is.
Take care, we are all here for you to rant away- 

love
Scruffyted xxxx

p.s for me personally I think hearing my post natal friends pregnancies harder than most as i am so close to them and don't want that to change and wanted to share the joy's of a 2nd baby with them all. Although my sister's was the hardest.


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## spangle

Hello everybody, 

Hi Fragile, Pixie Cat and Encore,

Well I am still reading all posts and just want to send you all a big hug.  It is so comforting when you talk about your situations to hear you talk of feelings that I have/am experiencing. As dd is nearly 4 I can so relate to feeling the odd one out as other mothers at toddler groups etc have had second babies. My sister has had 2 babies while we have been trying for baby number 2 !There are times when it is soo much harder than others (as you have rightly said )to cope with the fertility rollercoaster 

I must admit it is great to hear the good news of pregnancies on this board because it gives me hope that one day it will be me. At the moment I am picking myself up and fighting negative feelings about treatment never going to work etc. Sometimes I feel like the odd one out as I have had soo many cycles for baby number 2. It is so hard to get my head round it and understand why? You are all so thoughtful and I know you all understand the feelings involved. I am so pleased everything is going well for the bfp ladies-Betty, Debbie, Scruffyted . Please keep posting with your news.

Succotash- I hope you are ok ?

Cuthbert- Hope you have enjoyed your Easter Break. I am back at work on Monday and Wednesday so far this week.

Take care everyone,

have a good weekend,

Love

Spangle


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## suzy

Had to tell you all, we got a kangaroo stuck in our garden yesterday! Dh has been fixing up holes in the fencing so that our dog won't escape. Went out to hang the washing up at about 9pm and I could hear it "bang, thrash, bang thrash". The poor thing hopped around in the bushes for half an hour before taking a giant leap over the fence into next door


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## fragile

well theres something you dont hear of everyday! ha! ha!  all we'd get in a garden over here is a neighbours cat!


& hello to spangle

was just checking in have to make DS some breakfast - back later

mo x


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## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Suzy-How wonderful is that!!! Did make me laugh    What a wonderful place to live. Hope the d/r is going ok. When is baseline?  

Spangle-Nice to see you post, been thinking of you lots. Hope you are ok sweetheart-  When do you think you will start FET?   

Succotash-Thinking of you lots-I so hope you are ok- 

Hi to everyone else.

Love
Scruffyted xxxx


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## Succotash

Sorry girls, bit of a me post I'm afraid.  Have had another ****** chemical.  Only marginally better than an out right BFN.  Not sure what to do next as at the moment I don't want to have any more tx - up to the ****** back teeth with it all.

Will catch up with the thread when I've got my head together a bit.  Right now just don't want to see the letters IVF, ICSI, MF ..... anywhere.

Love Succotash, xxxx


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## Cuthbert

Oh Succotash, I'm so sorry. Life's really not fair; you take all the time you need.

Jules


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## Hun

Succotash

Maybe if youre having time out you won't get to read this, but I really wanted to say how sorry I am that you had a biochemical - its such a cruel thing to happen.

Take a break from all of this hurt - Its not a bad thing to take a step back from the rollercoaster every now and again to work things out in your head and through in your heart. No decision ever has to be final, but  its important it the right one for you at the time.

You know we are here from you whenevre you need to talk.

Hun xx


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## scruffyted

Oh my dear Succotash

I am so so sorry to hear that.   Words are useless at a time like this, i am so devastated for you. I can understand you wanting time out. We are here for you when and if you need us. Please take care of yourself.   

Thinking of you
Much love
Scruffyted xx


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## suzy

Oh Succotash,

This road can be very cruel. So sad that you had a chemical - all that hope comes spiralling down, not a good thing to go through, no wonder you are devestated. I totally understand you wanting to take a break, but please come back when you feel ready we'd miss you if you didn't. 

Love,

Suzy


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## fragile

GRRRRR! just spent ages typing something & now Ive lost it. 

mostly it was sending sympathies to succotash (((((hugs))))) to you hun.

although & i hope this isn't too insensitive (sorry sorry sorry) but i have a question.  is anyone on gonal F?  last time i had pre filled injector pens & i have just had a look to check it is the same this time & its not.  it is a pre filled 2ml syringe & vial of powder that i have to mix (no probs there)  but then i have to draw an amount up each day & i am worried that when pushing the bubbles out of the injecting syringe i will lose little amounts so wont be left with a full dose.  i always have this prob with my buserelin & end up having an extra vial prescribed to me even though I'm really really careful but i figure gonal f is more important as its what makes my follies grow.  any advice? 

Suzy i see you have started a new thread - how do you find the time to do all this??!?!?!?!?  how are you feeling now hun & what did you decide about seeing your friends?

hope everyone else is OK.  I'm now on day 13 dregging where is everyone up to?  having really bad night sweats & very very grumpy!!! means a bad day in work & really trying my best not to shout at everyone 
lol  mo x


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## owennicki

First of all Succoutash, i am so sorry to read about your chemical, i can't imagine what yo are going through, just know you have many cyber hugs coming your direction form all on this thread at least 

OK i have a problem and i know that after i get it off my chest i will feel better...........  My sister, it's really strange as when i very first found FF it was my sister that was bothering me then.  she is 3 years older than me with a 11 year old son and a almost 2 year old daughter, when we started looking into treatment to start our family nearly 3 years ago (we knew upfront about IF due to DH's TX) she was fully aware of it, one day DH was in hossie and i came home on my own a little down and was asked round to my mums house for a cuppa only to be set up for her to happily announce she was pg, 'it was a kind of accident' she said (so was her 1st when she was 20)  OK this time she was living with a guy and serious, but it was almost like - well if you are, then i want one first, i had big issues all through the pg and could never really explain why, guess it was just jealousy, but i said it was about how i was told.  
This time we have talked about wanting to start TX again for a sibling and she has always said, 'no I'm done got my two, boy and girl, thats it for me', so i confidently told her my plans for TX and she has just told me they have changed their minds and are going to try again,   while internally gutted that she has done it again, i was supportive and nice about it and now she keeps going on and on about it, how they need to plan, and how strange it is to plan when it always just been a accident before, and comment's like 'oh the sooner I'm pg the better', 'just wait till i have a baby inside me' etc etc    
But i have been having these horrible thought as has my DH that i almost want her to have problems TTC, not anything serious, but just a bite of the biscuit.    i feel she always has to make sure she has her 'moment' first, then it will be the same as last time when everyone asked me - if her being pg made me want to get pg, now it's going to be 'i thought you wouldn't be far behind her!'  aaaagghhhh    i could just scream and whats more i feel so guilty for having these thoughts, i love her dearly, she is my best friend and i would do anything for her as she would me (other than let me get on with making a baby on my own!!)  i guess the question is - am i being totally silly, and selfish, please be honest i need a good kick up the bum  

Sorry for being a me post, but i keep mulling over it and i know i need to deal with it.

Love Nicki x x


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## scruffyted

Hi Girls

So sorry for the me post but you are all my friends and I am so worried. Last night when I went to the loo and wiped there was brown blood (sorry TMI) it is still there when I wipe today and I have lower abdom pain    My nausea and sore boobs have gone. I rang the clinic and they said to rest. I am so scared it is all going wrong. 

love
Scruffyted xx


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## emma73

First - Succotash - I am SOOOOOOOO Sorry to hear of your chemical - nothing I can say can make it any easier - big huge cuddles to you. 

Nicki - I can totally relate to how you must be feeling - after I had been TTC for a while my dad (who I dont hardly see) called me to tell me that my half sister (who I have never met or spoken to) was pregnant. It was a huge kick in the teeth even though I dont know the girl. THEN -last year I was told she is pregnant with twins - this news after myself expecting twins and going into premature labour at 23 weeks and Zac dying was almost too much to cope with - but I havent ever even spoken to the woman! It must be a zillion times worse when its your sister who you are close to - these feelings are normal - it would dirve me nuts to hear of somebody planning another baby and just assuming it would happen. We dont have that luxury. Hang in there - hopefully you can compare bumps - you never know. 

Scrufty ted - please dont panic hun - I had spotting in my pregnancy - and it was always brown. I remember comming on here absolutely FRANTIC that it was all over - well it wasnt and I spotted ocasionally in my pregnancy - apparently its even more common in twins! I know it must be a hideous worry - how long do you have untill your scan?

Hello to everyone else - Suzy - how are you feeling? I'm sending you a big cuddle just in case you need it. 

A big hello to everyone else - I know I have missed loads of you - sorry!!

Lots of Love Emma xxxxxxxxx


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## CJ

Succotash, I'm so sorry this is happened to you, life can be so unfair sometimes, to give a dream and take it away makes no sense, it sounds like time away is what you need for now but please come back when your ready or sooner just to vent your anger if thats what you need at the time, were all here for you Hun 

Hi Scruffted, Hun the same sort of thing happened to me I was beside myself, it was awful, I have a full on bleed though and I rested for two days (still bleeding like an af) I went for a scan first thing on the Monday am and I was 5 wks 3 days and I found out it was twins and they were both fine. It's too hard not to worry you just do but you have to cling on to the fact that it's brown blood which is old and this is very common (not normal but very common) with twins...(and I know you have twins in there remember )

Sending you all the    and  I have left ..any chance of an early scan??

Love CJ xx


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## Dixie

Hi everyone,

Succotash, I'm so sorry this happened, I hope the time away will help you.  We all miss you and hope you come back soon.

Scruffyted, I had the same brown spotting and cramping with Caroline and also again with this pregnancy, which has stopped and the pregnancy is going good so far.  Also those stupid pregnancy symptoms are notorious for not being there when you want them to be.  Please try not to worry.  Maybe you can get some serial HSG bloodwork and/or an early scan like CJ suggested to ease your mind a bit.  Remember we'll all here rooting for you and sending tons of babydust !

Fragile good luck during you DR!

Nicki, sorry to hear how insensitive your family is being, although it is not intentional it hurts all the same.  No one in my family really understands just how damn hard it is to get pregnant for those of us suffering from infertility.  But even when they are being totally insensitive and daft I know they still love me and don't mean it.  I hope you will get that BFP soon so your can compare bumps with your sister.

Hello to everyone else!

Love and tons of babydust   to everyone, Dixie


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## fragile

hi all

scryffyted - i know its hard but try not to worry & take it easy.  as everyone says it may not mean the worst  fingers crossed for you.     

Nicki  - know exactly how you feel and it is natural for you to feel like that.  when i had first cycle of icsi i was pregnant with twins, 2 days after i lost one my supposedly infertile sister in law announced she was 4 weeks pregnant.  my DH said "well thats ****** on our chips" charming phrase but really it was such a special time for us why did they have to spoil it by getting pg too.  she now has a second & i had mc last time.    

i cant quite decided why people act like that.  it could be your sister has enjoyed feeling special whilst pregnant (as we all do) & cant seem to let you have a little light of your own.  she must know how hard it is for you have you sat her down & asked her why she has decided this now?  you said she would do anything for you & you are great friends so could you not talk about it?  

it could just be that she expects you to get a positive result so would love to be pregnant at the same time to share the experience & to have children to be the same age so they will be close?  i think generally though its just that people who can have babies naturally just have no idea of the pain & heartache i know my family, although they know how hard tx is & how fraught it is, dont fully understand the desperate need for us to get our BFP's.  how could they when they just have it happen naturally when they try or by accident when not even trying?!!!  it is just lack of thought & im sure if you sat down with her & explained how much it hurt she would be horrified that she had been so thoughtless.  

anyway, just to let you know i know how you feel.  hope sharing it on FF made you feel better.  when things bug me i know after ive had a rant on the board i feel loads better for just getting it out of my system!! sorry not implying that your ranting that sounded awful but dont know how else to phrase it!

hope everyone has a lovely sunny bank hol

lol  mo x


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## spangle

Hello,

Did post a long  post on friday but as site was down when I came to post it i lost it !  

Scruffyted- Hope you are ok, so sorry to read your post. Praying everything is ok.

Succotash- So very sorry. Please feel free to pm me if you need a chat.Remember we are all here for you whenever you need us.

fragile-Love your dh's phrase ! My sister has just had her secondbaby. Both children have been concieved while I hae been trying for number 2 !!

Nicki- So sorry about how your sister is being. I think alot of how family are being is because they mean well but have no idea what this rollercoaster ride is like ! I find some family comments can be very insensitive but they mean well it is just down to the fact they really have no idea how raw and painful this business really is.

Dixie- Hello.

Emma 73- How are you doing?


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## spangle

OOPs,

Hadn't finished post and pressed wrong button!! was going to add some extra smileys !   

Hello CJ, Hun, Jules and CJ and anyone else  

Well ,I go to clinic on Tuesday for day 21 prostap injection. Must admit don't feel postive about this next go. How strange I should feel like this after so many failed cycles!  I so need a postive energy boost ! I am doing a fet and know some of you have had successes just worry if it is ever going to work again for me !

Have a good bank holiday,

love

Spangle


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## suzy

Hi everyone,

Owennicki - sorry your sister is being so insensitive. I don't think that you are a bad person with how you are feeling. Most of the time when I hear about someone else's pg, part of me is happy for them, but sometimes I just feel downright resentful and angry. Also I agree with fragile, people who have no idea of infertility seem to be very insensitive and thoughtless at times. The thing I find difficult is that they are often perfectly harmless pleasant people. And for me, its always the ones close to me that hurts the most.

Emma - how you going and when are you starting?

Spangle - what's prostap and what stage are you at in your FET? I so hope this is the one for you.

Fragile - I"ve always had gonal f but its always been in a pen. Try to turn the syringe upright, so that the needle is pointing to the ceiling and then tap or flick the syringe to make the airbubbles go to the top, so that when you expel them slowly, you only lose air and not the drug? When the bubble is at the top, press the plunger very slowly until you see a small drop of liquid appear at the top of the needle, and then slowly pull the plunger back until the liquid has gone back into the needle.

Scruffyted - sorry you have been scared by the bleeding. Brown is good and I once heard that about 50% of IVF pregnancies can be associated with some bleeding.

Hi to Hun, CJ and Succotash and everyone else,

I'm now on day 11 of downregging and going really well. Have been feeling fab actually. I've found a fantastic walk near us and been doing it almost every day with ds in the backpack and dd (dear dog!!!). Still haven't had AF yet, not pregnant though. I did a test, think I'm addicted to them - I keep going back to them and imagining a line where there plainly isn't one. . I've decided to keep going to my mothers group on everyone's advice. This last one wasn't so bad as there was only four of us, one of which is pg. 

Have a good holiday everyone,

Suzy


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## emma73

Hey Suzy - good to hear sound so positive - I had lost track of how many cycles you have done now and had to have a nosey at your old posts - I really have everything crossed that this is the one for you - you bloomin deserve it! 

Scruftyted - have been comming on to check that you are ok - hope no news is good news. 

Spangle - I am about to do a natural FET - and I'm not holidng my breath as I was given rubbish statistics from my clinic - but then a couple of the girls here who got a BFP got it from a FET - didnt they? Any way - best of luck - how many embryos do you have? 

Well - as I said I'm on day one of my cycle and had to call the clinic this morning - nobody was there so left a message- will have to back in in about a week or 10 days (I'm guessing) for something or other - not sure what as havent done this before! For me I'm doing this to get it out of the way before I go for a full cycle -    

gotta go - luke just loves this keyboard - 

hello to all I missed 

Emma xxxx


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## Dixie

Hi everyone,

Tracey, Thank you for the update on Scruffyted.  Hope all is going well for you and that little cutie pie boy of yours!

Scruffyted, sending you tons of hugs and babydust for your scan on Wenesday!    

Suzy, good to hear about your cycle going well so far, here hoping this is the one for you!

Emma73, all the best for your natural FET, hopefully little luke will have a little brother or sister soon!

Spangle,  Chin up and keep on thinking positive thoughts for your FET, it is going to work for you soon!!

Fragile, hope things are going well for your cycle!

Hi to everyone else!

Much love, Dixie


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## Hun

Good Luck tommorow Scruffyted.....

Hi to everyone else!

There is finally light at the end of my long wait tunnel and I will be downregging early June! Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hun xxx


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## suzy

Scruffyted,

Just wishing you lots of luck for today. Hope eveything is well with your one or two embies. I'm thinking of you,

Suzy


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## suzy

OMG, I had a blood test today (day 13 of d/r and still no AF), and it showed a HCG of 6.3.

Its a bfp, it's about as low as it can get, and must be the reason why AF isn't here. 

Dh and I do have bms when I am d/r as the doctors here don't see it to be a problem if you fall pg whilst on synarel (I know from reading others posts that they are often told to use condoms).

My doctor told me that its either a chemical pg, or a very early pg, and I've ovulated late. Its probaly a chemical and I'm kind of resigned to that as I've seen only one or two low HCG's progress to a viable pg in my work. But I do remember I ovulated on day 18 with my FET and dh and I have always had bms aiming for about day 14-16, but this cycle we started the bms later than usual, thinking I"d ovulate on day 18 again, but I had the egg white mucous a lot later. I remember thinking it was weird as my vaginal mucous pattern is quite reliable.  So, maybe I did ovulate later. Also he said my progesterone is now 90 and that's a good sign. But'll I'm 95% sure its a chemical 

In any case, I am now a basket case lunatic mad person. I look like this  .

I can't believe I have had two pregnancies one after the other straight after a laparoscopy (albeit probably both chemical),  and my ds also was the cycle straight after my previous lap and each time mild endo was diathermied. 

Hmmm, might have a lap every two months 

Love,

Suzy


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## CJ

Good luck Scruffyted with your scan, everything crossed here for you   
Hope and pray it's all o.k for you sweetie 

Wow Suzy   thats a natural  , fingerscrossed for you too hun, how amazing to be dr and then get a positive. I really hope it's an early pg for you and with the dates etc it sounds like you did ovulate later, getting ewm is the best sign of when your ovulating. How do you feel now? any signs or things you can pin point as early pg??  praying for you too hun 

Hi to everyone else, sorry no other personals I really only came on for a quick nosey but had to relpy to the latest news  Hope you are all well..hopefully back later  

Love CJ xx


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## emma73

Just a quick pop on from me to check how you are Scruftyted - am thinking of youxx

Suzy - a BFP - I hope its just a very early result - and not a cheimcal - I dont really understand what they are  

Hun - good news you can finally get going - lots of luck!!

I had to pop into hospital this morning for a blood test and when  I was there they told me they wanted to scan me too. I didnt expect this and like to "prepare" for scans - just by havign a shower - so I said they couldnt scasn me untill next time. I HATE being there and nearly broke down in the car park AGAIN- just like last time. Being there makes me have flashbacks - but I'm not goign to get pregnant any other way   so I just have to handle it. 

I'm about to go for a jog - have decided that If I dopnt get pregnant this year then I will run a marathon next year. This June I'm doing the Great Scottish Walk to try and raise funds for Lukes Neonatal Unit - feel free to sponsor me  

Hello to eveyone else 

Emma xxx


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## spangle

Hi all,

Suzy- wow what amazing news,   fingers crossed for you.Prostap is a down regging one off injection that saves having to inject dailyor sniff ! Hey I have done them all !!   Please forgive my lack of knowledge but what exactly is a chemical ? Is it when there is a positive result but no baby? How/why does it happen? Does the positive result last only until estimated af was due ?

Scruffyted- Hoping all is well. 

Hun-Great news about your next cycle.

Emma- I have 5 frosties at St,Jude's and 8 at Shrewsbury my previous clinic. I have to return after af so fingers crossed she arrives on time !! How are you feeling?Oh, just read your post, sending you a big hug, cup of tea and a chat !

Take care everyone   

love

Spangle


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## helenab

hi everyone

sorry been awol but had a nightmare trying to log on for about 2 weeks now.    Lots and lots to catch up on by look for things...!

First, Succotash, sending you and massive hug and lots of support sweetie.

Scruffyted, good luck for today   

Suzy, wow!  A natural BFP - that is fantastic!  Going to keep everything crossed for you.

Hun, hi sweetie.  Great news aboout June - we will be about 3 weeks apart!  Must get together soon.

Nicki - sorry to read about your sister being insensitive - families !!  

Spangle, sorry you're not feeling so positive at the moment.  sending lots of positive vibes your way.  I know how you feel though.  

Hi Emma, CJ, Dixie, Mo and anyone else i've missed.

Not much news here except I am on the third week of hte pill and due to go for a scan next tuesday with a view to downregging next week.  I am in the midst of Sienna teething big time and lots of colds so don't really feel very ready for it all and am quite anxious about jumping back on the trail.  Hopefully this better weather will make me feel more positive.  

We have found a house to move to and exchanged last week.  We are due to complete on the 9th of June - during 2ww or thereabouts....  not such a clever idea!

lots of love
helena
XXXXXX


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## Hun

Hello to all

Suzy - what amazing news! Could be a late implanter....you never know. From someone who has never ever been pg naturally I am really interested that this has happened twice both after laps. The reason being that my mum had if problems, they waited 5 years for me and then theres another 5 year gap between me and my brother. And both times she concieved in the 3 months after a lap. I have mentioned this to various gynaes and no-ones been very interested - I have never had a lap (was only given HSG to rule out tubal dg on NHS), but after hearing your news I almost feel like if the NHS can't offer me anything else (never had or going to have any tx on it)) its the least they can do!!!
Wishing, hoping and praying that maybe just maybe it might hang on in there.

Spangle - GOOD LUCK for this cycle sweetie. And I know you don't feel pos because its a FET but YOU NEVER KNOW!!!! The more I hear in this world of IF the more I feel theres not much science in it, just numbers that may or may not mean anything, good and bad luck, and always the unexpected.

Emma - Gosh you too - its abusy time on the board again all of a sudden. Are you going for a full cycle again?

Hi to Tracey - ages since I've heard from you and hoping you and lovely max are well.

Hope all is OK Scruffyted?

Love to Betty, Dixie and the other bumps - hoping all is well. 

I read on another board that Babywisper  had m/c at 11 weeks - if you ever drop by again Babywisper - I just wanted to say how sorry I am.

Helena - Great to hear that you are on your way again, and I really missed our chats the other weekend. However, seeing as you will be moving around about 12 miles from
me soon (you don't believe in doing it all at once then ) I think a glass of wine to check out your local, or one of the lovely pubs hlaf way between us could be in order soon? I am away on my hols    next week tho, back a week, then away again for a week with work so it might be bit tricky to fix a date. I'll IM you soon!

Henry is cutting his molars a the mo, is a bit of a grouch one minute and then entirely charming the next. I am so looking forward to spending some quality time with my boys next week. And I am excited that I  have my cycle to look forward too. I am hoping to do egg share again, and personally I am very happy with that decision - though I pondered it long and hard. The worse part about the neg in the last cycle was that at the end of it, it felt like there was nothing good out of it. No potential baby, no savings, no frosties. For all that effort it felt like a big waste. However whatever I personally leave this next cycle with, there will be hope that I have made difference to someone elses life. Now as a mother, that means even more to me than it did the first time I egg shared. Hope that makes sense. It also means i prb won't have to do that excruciating blastocyst wait again as there prob won't be enough embies. Which is a huge relief for someone whos scientific mind tells them they should do blasts, and whos gut instinct tells them they shouldn't (henry the result of a day 2 tf). Also have had two interstingly differing opinions from two consultants at the same clinic whether It is right for me.........

Well enough rambling. Time to sit in my garden under the cherry blossom with a glass of wine and DH.

Love to all Hun xxx


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## scruffyted

Hi Girls

Thank you all for your messages, sorry I haven't been on but was told to rest. Am still spotting but no where near as much! Went for our scan today and you were all right it's TWINS!!! In shock to be honest, we knew my HCG level was high but they say you never can tell and what with the spotting! They haven't a clue why I'm spotting, they did say my left overy is still HUGE and it has a cyst on it, but that shouldn't cause any problems or the bleeding. So EDD is 20th Dec but being twins will be earlier. Very worried how DS will be, he has always wanted a baby sis/brother but two, very worried they will leave him out   So many new worries going through my head now!! Where will we put 3 children in our small house..... 

Suzy-oh my goodness what a lovely surprise, what has the clinic said, are you coming of the d/r drugs? Sounds like a late implanter to me!! So so hope it turns out to be and everything is ok.   

Hun-oh how wonderful that you are starting soon, June will be here in no time! So pleased for you.   Bet you can't wait for your holiday, hope you have a lovely time. How did your village fair go?

Tracey-Thank you for posting for me the other night. I hope you are ok, I am here if you need me-keep positive    Take care  

Spangle-Thank you for your lovely message, you are a truely strong person. FET does work and will work for you. DS is FET as is CJ's twins. When do you start? Have you thought about having Accupunture at all?

CJ-You were right hun!! I have so many questions for you and will be PM you very soon!! I'll be after your phone number for tips on twins!!

Baby Wisper-I am so so sorry to read your news via Hun. Why is life so cruel. Thinking of you.   

Emma-You won't be doing the marathon!! When do you start? Keeping everything crossed for you.  

Helena-Wow you do like to do it all in one go!!   Keeping everything crossed for you as well.  

Hi to everyone else.
Thank you all for your wonderful support and friendship these last few months and for keeping me going whilst going through tx. Don't worry not going anywhere just wanted to thank you all.  

Love 
Scruffyted xxxx


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## Hun

Fab news Scruffyted!!! Now rest up, stop stressing   and take it one day at a time!

Hun xxx


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## Dopey-Dinah

Hi Everyone,

Just a quickie to say "CONGRATULATIONS" to Scruffyted.  I'm still having the odd spot of bleeding but have had 2 scans and everything seems to be fine.  "Just one of those things" the Doctor said.    Just get plenty of rest and wait for your lovely pregnancy symptoms to kick in.

sorry no messages for anyone else as "All Day Sickness" has hit with a vengeance and looking at the computer screen is making me seasick.

Lots of love to everyone

Debbie
xxx


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## Cuthbert

WOW! Congratulations Scruffyted and welcome to the twins club! Try not to worry too much about things - you'll be fine. And DS will love having twin brothers/sisters. I'm an older sister to twins and (other than when they got all the attention from my friends at my birthday party), never felt left out at all.

Hun, I hope that you enjoyed your wine; I've just finished a lovely cold bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Your ideas about egg sharing are lovely to read, bless you! Have a lovely holiday.

Helena, you're not doing things by halves, doing treatment and moving house as well. Good luck with the scan and good luck with the move too.

Spangle, good luck with your next appointment. How are things work-wise? I've just finished my reports, yippeeee!

Emma, sending you hugs. It must be really hard going through it all again and you must have so many emotions going through your head. I hope that the scan goes OK next time (and that you're not able to run the marathon, with good reason).

Oh my, Suzy, another BFP. I hope that it's not a chemical but is just a little late in getting going. Thinking of you.

Tracey, don't beat yourself up about thinking that you might have been pregnant - I still have hopes like that even now that we know that it's blooming unlikely to happen naturally. I've been thinking of you loads recently and it's good to see you posting here. 

CJ, how are things in the new house? Thanks for your message on Bumps - I'm feeling a lot happier than I was now that I've decided to change jobs.

We've been waiting for months for an appointment to come through at King's for our next cycle. When DH rang up last week, they'd got no record of a referral.  It must have got lost between Swindon and London, aargh! Luckily they've agreed to backdate our application to its original date in February so hopefully we'll be cycling in August/September as planned.

Hi to everyone else.

Jules


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## spangle

Hello,

Scruffyted- What fab news, congratulations.      

love

Spangle


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## CJ

Hi all sorry was going to do personals but got into the matrix, just to say

Scruffyted, what amazing news, I already knew it of course  ( have sent you a PM)

Ask as many questions as you like, I'm always here to listen, pass on my wisdom (  well you know I don't have any of that but hey I can waffle so thats the same thing)

Another funny thing I did today was find a fab site which had a lovely "just out"double pushchair which you could have two carrycots on, it fits through a standard doorway and they can faceforward when they are in the buggy (hard to find on a door size pushchair) 
Thats what happens when you have too much time on your hands , you look up things on the net that you don't actually need ...see I have twins and too much free time, a huge positive for having twins there 

congratulations


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## owennicki

Just a quickie to say  CONGRATULATIONS to Scruffyted on the twins     although it's no great shock to us here!!

Have no time for personals, DH was rushed into hospital monday night and he is 3 hours away and i have had to come home with Toby, but it's a worry and i think i am driving back tomorrow to see him now i have got Toby looked after and settled, all a bit manic at the moment!

Love Nicki x


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## emma73

Congratulations on the Twins Scruftyted - Fab news!!!!

Emma


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## helenab

OMG Scruffyted - that is the most fantastic news!  I am soo excited for you.  

love Helena
XXX


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## suzy

Scruffyted - what wonderful news . Twinnies !! If it makes things easier for you, I have a couple of patients who both have had twins as well as a toddler and both say without a doubt that the twins were easier to look after than a single baby. They said it was because they were more relaxed, twins will entertain each other, and sometmes, they had no choice but to leave them to cry whereas with one, they thought they would damage him if they did that.

Owennicki - sorry about your dh and hope he's OK,

Love to everyone else,

Suzy


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## fragile

hello all, have just had a really quick scan of the posts blimey i can be on here a couple of days in a row & no new news then all of a sudden 2 new pages!!!!  Suzy, fingers crossed that it isnt a chemical (glad to know im not the only one who doesnt know what that is!!?)  hope its a love late implating BFP  & all goes well for you.  sorry for not doing any personals but i have a problem i would like advice with


i started my stimms today. the hospital just told me to take my gonal F with me for my baseline scan they never said anything about my dregging drug only when ive got home from work & looked at the little tx book i have the registra wrote that i had my gonal F & a lower dose of my dregging drug. BUT I DIDNT! i had my usual dose of dregging because nobody said i should lower it & i feel a fool because looking at my last cycles i did have a lower dose on the day i started stimms but how am i supposed to remember this?

they should have said, someone has said that their clinic dont even lower the dregging drug while they are stimming so it shouldnt be a problem but maybe that depends on what drugs you are doing?  any advice?  cant phone clinic till morning & dont fancy a night of frantic worry, god i would love a glass of wine!!!!
thanks  lol  mo x


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## emma73

Fragile - I really havent got a clue!! Isnt their an out of hours number you could call - their must be somebody you can contact? 

Emma x


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## suzy

Its a chemical   Got to start back on the synarel tonight and have another blood test in 12 days. Is there anything harder than this?

Actually as I wrote that, I kick myself - I've had a real wake up call. A little girl in Sydney called Sophie was asleep in a day care a few years ago and a car was out of control and smashed into the place. It set on fire and she and her friend Molly were really badly burnt. The doctors advised Sophies parents to turn of the life support, but they refused, and she survived. But not without problems. She had amputations (both legs and an arm I think),  her ear was burnt off and most of her body was badly burnt. She needed lots of operations and skin grafts. She was in hospital for months. Everyone was following her story. Recently, she had her first day at school, and her parents were so happy, and so were we. 

Anyway, tonight she was knocked over by a car in her pushchair, whilst crossing a road on a pedestrian crossing. Apparently she is on a life support machine and is critical, with head, chest injuries and more. She is now about 5. I cannot believe how life can be so cruel for this to happen to such a young, life. How can anyone believe in a loving God? 

I guess things like that put other issues into perspective a bit and I gave my ds an extra big hug as I said night night to him tonight.

A chemical pregnancy is just a very early miscarriage. The embryo either doesn't implant properly or its abnormal and the body rejects it, or it doesn't develop properly. Its only called a "chemical"  because the only evidence of the pregnancy is the presence of the chemical (or hormone) hcg - its too early to be diagnosable on a scan.

Hun - I'm a real fan of laps . Isn't it funny - my mum took 6 years to concieve me (you'd think that she would have some kind of empathy for me, but I think she must have forgotton what it was like ). She had her "tubes cleaned out" - I think that must have been an HSG - and straight after concieved me. When I was six months old, my brother was concieved. 

Ds was concieved straight after a lap where mild endo (only one spot) was treated - as you know my first ivf. Then straight after my recent lap where mild endo was treated again, I have two chemicals one after the other. Aparently, there is a high incidence of endo in if patients having a lap. Many, like me, don't have any symptoms. My SIL was offered a lap on the NHS after ttc for a year I think (she was nine months pg when she was at the top of the waiting list and got her appt to go in), so you should be able to have one too. Its not a big deal really, especially when you have been through all we have. I only took one day off work (REALLY STUPID of me, I needed two )

Got to go now, dh wants computer. 

Please pray for Sophie,

Suzy


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## emma73

Its gone all quiet  on here - where is everyone??

Suzy - I'm so sorry you have had another chemical - this must be so so difficult for you. Will you just be able to go ahead with the IVF as planned?  I was so sad to read of Sophies accident - I do hope that she is pulling through. How horrific for her and her family. Life can be so very very cruel. 

Nothing much happening here - I have to go for a scan on Saturday - and am very unsure of if I will be going through another full IVF cycle if this dosent work - for one we dont have the money AT ALL - and secondly I just dont know if I can put myself through it again. I feel like I am on a conveyor belt at the hospital and all the staff are new apart from one - and they dont know my history  - I get so nervous - I think they think I'm a bit weird!

Just been to watch the Great Edinburgh 10K RUn, and am inspired, at the moment I cant run fr more than 2 mins at a time, but next year- if I'm not with child I'll be running. 

I do hope everyone is ok and having a nice weekend. Suzy - if you hear please let us know how Sophie is - I know you will anyway.

Right - gotta go, 

EMma xx


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## fragile

Suzy so sorry hun.  that story of the little girl brought tears to my eyes.  its true there are always people worse of than ourselves & we have a lot to be grateful for and it does put our own problem into perspective hearing tragic things like that but as they say "your next door neighbour may have broken his leg but its your own big toe thats hurting" so dont kick yourself you are entitled to feel as you do & just because others may be suffering tragedy & pain your own pain is very real.  sorry you are back with us on this merry go round. hope you are feeling ok.

Emma, i know what you mean about feeling inspired.  every year at london marathon time i say to myself one day im going to do that.  i only hope that my excuse for not doing it next year is, like you, because of a new baby.


had my scan today 7 follies all 12 ml,  i was hoping for more as ive never had any  to freeze but as she said its quality not quantity.  1st cycle when i had DS they only got 6 eggs, 4 fertilised but on the day of ET we were told only 2 had survived & i got pregnant with twins!!!!! we sadly lost one but are of course very grateful for DS.  keep telling myself it only takes one.

hope everyone is ok,  miserable rainy day here today  so going demented watching thoma the tank engine repeatedly!!!! 

lol  mo x


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## suzy

Hi everyone,

New home this way - http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,57226.msg764538.html#msg764538

Suzy


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