# Can my sister-in-law be our surrogate?



## LHR72

Hi! 

My sister in law has offered to be a surrogate for us if we needed it, which is an amazing offer. I'd really like some advice on the legality of this. I've had a search on here and on the internet, but can't see any UK cases (plenty in USA but i understand that their laws are more relaxed). Is it possible to do this? would we then be able to adopt the child? would there be any biological issues to consider? Also, she is gay, so does this cause any more complications legally?

Any advice gratefully received!!

LHR


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## Guest

I'm sure that this is not a problem. With regards to the legalities of you becoming the legal parents, have a look on Surrogacy UK as it is really clear on there. You have a pretty great SIL xx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

LHR - what a lovely thing to offer!  Look on this thread and you will see its fine. Its a lovely story. 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=157859.0


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## LHR72

i know, she is amazing!! 

it would be a host surrogacy not a straight ... as i produced lots of good eggs in the ivf cycle, the issue for me is implantation and maintaining early pregnancy. glad to hear that it can be done!   

god this site is brilliant isn't it


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## NatGamble

Hi LHR72

Yes it can definitely be done and in fact is not that uncommon.  

To answer your question about how it works legally, if your sister-in-law is in a civil partnership, then she and her partner will be the legal parents at birth.  If she is 'unmarried', then she will be the mother and your partner will be the father (or possibly you could be the second parent instead).

You and your partner then need to apply to the court for what's known as a 'parental order' within six months of your child's birth.  This shifts parenthood from your sister in law to you both, and you then get a new birth certificate naming you as the parents.

It's wise to get some legal advice to confirm you will meet all the criteria for a parental order and so you set things up in such a way to make the process as smooth and easy as possible.  In straightforward situations, most couples represent themselves in the process, so it should be easy and inexpensive.

There's a ton of information about the law and how it works in more detail on our surrogacy area at www.gambleandghevaert.com (click on surrogacy at the top) which you might find helpful.  If you'd find it reassuring to have some legal advice on your particular circumstances, we would be happy to help.

Best of luck on your journey.

Natalie
[email protected]


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## LHR72

Thanks v much for the advice Natalie. 
Just one question at this stage, upon birth I assume it is legal for myself and my husband to take the child into our home and raise it regardless of the fact that my SIL is the legal mother? 

LHR72


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## Jo

We had out SIL be our surrogate and it was fantastic 

The parental order was very easy, and straight forward 

Wishing you lots of luck 

Love Jo
x x x


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## babymithel

Good luck with it!!!  

Dawn xx


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## NatGamble

Hi again

The legal position at birth is a bit of an oddity.  Although it's totally normal in practice for the child to be handed over to you immediately at birth (and indeed you having care is one of the conditions for getting a parental order), the underlying legal position is in fact quite complex.

If your surrogate is in a civil partnership (and so she and her partner are the parents, excluding both of you initially) then neither you nor your husband will have any 'parental responsibility' (which means the authority to make decisions about your child's care).  Although it's not illegal for you to assume care in these circumstances, you may need your surrogate's input into any official decisions e.g. giving consent to medical treatment and immunisations.  If you do not promptly submit your application for a parental order, the law also requires you to notify social services about the situation, although in practice this is pretty rare.

If your sister-in-law is not in a civil partnership, your husband will be your child's legal father and, if named on the birth certificate, will have parental responsibility.  In that situation, he at least has legal authority to make decisions and there is no obligation at all for you to involve social services whatever happens.


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## CarolynB

Here's to your fab SIL.  

My sister carried our embies as host surro.  She and her dh are the legal parents of Sam at the moment (parental order just taking a long time as we are in a very busy part of London and the teams are under resourced).

What my sister and her dh did was write us an open signed letter which relinquished all decision making about Sam to us on discharge from hospital.  It was not essential (think Natalie Gamble - top lawyer in this area - suggested to us) but it has certainly made things easier for us with things like midwives, drs, immunisations whilst we wait for the Parental Order.  Just an idea - know it is a way down the track - but helpful to get all the pieces in place.

Good Luck on this next stage of your journey.  It can be a wonderful shared journey for you & your SIL.  Sticky vibes to your special SIL.

Carolyn x


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