# reached a new low



## charden79 (Dec 28, 2013)

after a lot  of pleading from my partner i finally spent a day with him and his two kids yesterday after not seeing them for a long time very long story. now i just feel really low again seeing him play daddy has made me realise even more that it probably wont ever be to our own children too. i thought i had started to feel a bit better and a bit stronger i hadnt even cried about my fertility problems for a while but of course now my tears wont stop. i feel useless and alone and not sure what the fututre even holds for me anymore.


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## Little Rie (Jun 27, 2014)

Huge hugs to you, try not to beat yourself up. I didn't want to read & run, just wanted to give you some reassuring hugs


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## Mrsball (May 10, 2013)

I can't imagine how hard it musts be to cope with IF and step children. 
As the other post days. Don't be too had on yourself. This is a really difficult thing! 
Hope you're ok 
X


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## Molly99 (Apr 16, 2012)

Oh Charden, I was wondering how you were getting on.  Sending you the biggest  

Yes, some days the pain of it can feel unbearable.  Sometimes I feel that I am doing so well, we have the most amazing day and I feel happy and secure, and then DH gives one of them a cuddle, or they call for him at night and it makes me feel the most soul crushing need to have a child with him too.  I know now that I never will, it's difficult to know how to process that or make any sense out of the emotions that it fires up at all.

I don't know what to say lovely, it is the hardest thing in the world to take on too.  Don't forget about the step family thread in the coping with infertility section.  We need special support and hugs sometimes xxx


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## charden79 (Dec 28, 2013)

thanks everyone yes it is really hard and sometimes i just dont know what to do with myself.
molly yes i finally took the plunge and met up with them everything went well but it just kind of left me feeling like this is it its never going to be our kids. and is this want for the rest of my life.


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## charden79 (Dec 28, 2013)

thanks everyone yes it is really hard and sometimes i just dont know what to do with myself.
molly yes i finally took the plunge and met up with them everything went well but it just kind of left me feeling like this is it its never going to be our kids. and is this want for the rest of my life.


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