# I know it's stupid but ....



## HJG (Jan 23, 2006)

..... I am one of life's realists.  I am rarely disappointed or taken by surprise but getting pregnant with my two beautiful daughters on our first ICSI treatment, having a dream pregnancy and model children (most of the time!) has kind of raised the bar.

Our only known issue is MF, never got past an ovulation test for me everything seemed OK.  We've been trying to conceive no 3 (or no4 if you include DSS) for 12 months now without success.  DH doesn't want any more treatment but I am happy to do what I can to boost our chances.  This coupled with the fact I've been getting some nasty mid-cycle symptoms led me to go to my GP to ask for tests. 

Bloods for PCOS and ovulation are fine, swabs and GP exam showed nothing untoward.  I have an internal and external scan tomorrow and I regurn to BCRM for a dye and x-ray on 22 September (actually being seen at Infertility Clinic but I've told them we won't be having any more treatment).

My problem is - I am excited.  I was excited when had bloods and swabs down (what a saddo!) and dissappointed when they didn't find anything wrong.  Tomorrow I am hoping they say "Well Mrs Gallimore it is very obvious why you aren't pregnant .....this is what we can do to fix it."  Most of all I am excited to be returning to BCRM where all our dreams came true the first time around.  

The MF had got better by EC (we had some frozen in case of further decline but were able to use fresh as it was better quality) but we have to assume it is still a problem.

I just feel like if they could find something wrong with me - I would undergo any procedure or drugs if I thought it would help - we would get pregnant.  I have to keep reminding myself about the MF and trying to prepare myself for the possibility that I am completely healthy!

Do I sound insane or does anyone understand where I am coming from?

Yours - confused.

HJG


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## Snorkmaiden (Mar 22, 2005)

Personally, I'd feel like the tests you're having are kind of redundant. 

My story is similar to yours - I have twins from ICSI and our problem is male factor infertility, no issues with me. We were told when DH got his diagnosis that our chances of conceiving on our own were practically nil. We were very lucky that our first ICSI cycle worked and it couldn't have gone any better.

We tried naturally for another baby from when our twins were 6 months old even though we knew it was probably a waste of time, but you do hear stories of 'miracle' conceptions from infertile couples, shortly after they've had a baby via ART...Well it's been three years now and we've just started another ICSI cycle cos it's obvious we're not going to get pg on our own. 

As soon as we got the referral back to our clinic I got excited, and walking in there again, to the place where my dream came true, was like coming home. So, I can totally relate to what you're saying and why you're getting excited again.

However, I still don't really see why you are having investigations when the root of your fertility problem has been found. If your tests come back A-ok it still doesn't mean that you are going to fall pregnant without assistance (sorry to be the bearer of bad news) and I think that you will most likely need another go at IVF/ICSI. Is your DH deadset against it? If he's happy for you to undergo investigations then he's clearly into the idea of having another baby, so I don't see why another round of treatment is not an option.

I would sit down and talk to your DH again. Maybe discuss the possibility of more treatment in a couple of years time if you've had no success?

Good luck with TTC a sibling for your bonny lassies!

Janine


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## HJG (Jan 23, 2006)

The tests are to rule out any other factors which when added to the MF may further reduce our chances of getting pregnant.  Like I said I never had any tests first time around other than a ovulation test so nothing was ever ruled out - GP said if they had discovered anything via my reactions to drugs, tx failure or scans they would have told me but I wanted to double check.  Plus there is always the chance the MF has continued to improve so if there is anything wrong with me it could well be hindering.

DH doesn't want any more tx (although he would have used frosties if we hadn't tradgically let them go) as apart from the financial aspect I have to work and look after two 3 year olds (he is way alot and I have no family or friends close by) and I may not be as lucky this time around in terms of no side affects or success.  I like to think I would be better equipped to deal with failure as I have my gorgeous girls to make me feel better but maybe he is right.

He definitely wants another baby - he is devestated that he talked me into letting frosties go and is as interested as me to find out the results of the investigations.

Update from this morning's scans is that everything looks fine.  Have to ring GP to co-ordinate test results to go to BCRM and then just have the x-ray to go and then presumably it is back to putting our faith in mother nature.  Did learn one thing that I didn't know though that I have a backward tilting uterus! She also told me that I had ovulated within the last 12 hours (which I knew as I had pain in bed last night) so DH better not have a headache this evening. 

Good luck with your cycle.  Will keep everything crossed for you.

HJG


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