# Failed IUI - more devastated than ever



## Sally2 (Nov 24, 2006)

I just really wanted to introduce myself here, though I'm doing so with bad news. (I already posted a message last night which is already out of date as you shall see in a minute.) I'm forty-two years old and just did my third IUI, this one in the states. I did an IUI with injectibles and produced five follices. On Wednesday I had a blood test which showed positive with lowish HcG levels - 12.5 - but today I've had a negative urine test and my period has started, which I think means either a chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage. According to my doctor in the states, I was definitely pregnant - he even emailed me saying 'congratulations' etc, though told me to keep checking my blood to see if the level doubled. So I definitely was pregnant and now I'm definitely  not.

This is the most devastating one of all. Has anyone had a similar experience? I also need to decide now whether to go onto IVF or not. I am forty-two but fairly fertile it seems (FSH only 4.7) but clearly not enough. I can't stop crying now. Any advice or support much needed.


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## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

Hi Sally,

I'm so sorry to hear your news.  I understand what you are going through - I went through something very similar before Xmas.  It is devastating to think that you have finally done it just to have it taken away  

What I will say is that although I haven't forgotten what happened or completely recovered from it emotionally, I do now feel ready to move on and I'm sure given time, you will too.

I don't know if this has helped but if you want to get in contact please PM me.

Look after yourself and give yourself time to get over your loss.

Pippi xxxx


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Sally im so sorry to read this news.

Give yourself a bit of time to grieve and then decide if u want to go ahead with IVF.

Good luck

Kate xx


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## pip7 (May 5, 2006)

Hi Sally

I don't want to raise your hopes at all unnecessarily.  It's just that I've heard of lots of women bleeding early in pregnancy who then continue on to have a normal pregnancy.

Lots of HPTs wouldn't pick up an HCG of 12.5.  Is it worth getting another quantitative HCG done, or at the very least a scan, just to be certain?  I feel I have to say this to you, just in case.

If you are absolutely certain, then I'm so sorry - it is devastating as I know from my own experience.  I think the others are right, you have to give yourself at least a little time and space.  

I had 3 IUIs before moving on to IVF.  I've now come back to IUI, and although the IVFs were negative, they were really useful in terms of finding out more about myself.  I always wished I had gone straight to IVF first, as I was 40 when I had my IVFs, and inevitably wondered if I might have been successful if I had been younger when I tried.  I guess I'm saying that if I were you I would go straight to IVF now if it's an option that's open to you.

I hope that helps, and if you want more info about my own circumstances let me know.

Take care of yourself.

Pip x


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## Sally2 (Nov 24, 2006)

Thank you, Pip!

But yes, I'm sure - as my urine tests show. And I had some heavier than usual bleeding this morning which looked a little like clotting - miscarriage blood.

I am, as you suggest, moving directly onto IVF. Either that, or I'm considering free sperm donors from the internet; I know there are some horror stories in that area but this website seems quite reputable and I'll be sure to vet them. I've been in email contact with a few already and they certainly seem to know what they're talking about and have anonymously fathered a number of children.

So - pretty despairing, but not giving up hope! And I wish you luck too! So you've primariy gone onto IUI again because of the costs?


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## Sally2 (Nov 24, 2006)

And thank you too, Kate!

I am moving onto IVF I think, but regarding time, I'm forty-two; (though my FSH levels are 4.7 and I did produce five follices during the last IUI.)  Do I HAVE time?


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Sally, I guessing you can only try the IVf if they don't think you have responded well enough they can always convert back to IUI, I think that some ladies don't down reg either so the cycle is shorter, I know that I was younger, but after 3 failed IUI's, IVF worked for me and it was also good to learn more about if my eggs could be fertilised etc.

With regards to the comment on sperm, if you haven't already posted on the sperm and donor section, I would see what the girls there say, heres a link to one of the discussions, but feel free to start a new one;

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=79924.210

Cx


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## pip7 (May 5, 2006)

Sally, I guess it's hard to advise about the sperm thing without knowing more about your circumstances.

I didn't go back to IUI because of the costs.  I don't produce many eggs when I'm stimmed for IVF.  On full doses of meds, both times I produced 6 eggs.  I know from the first IVF that they seem to fertilise OK - 4 of them fertilised by normal IVF and I had 3 embryos put back.  (The second time we wanted to do PGD and for this you have to have ICSI - though in the end we only had 3 embryos so just put them all back without doing PGD).

I just think IVF is a really good investigation, but for us it's perhaps not the right treatment.  As I've had 4 natural pregnancies which all miscarried early, we've now turned our attention to what might be going on inside me which prevents embryos from implanting.

However, if you know that your problem is a male factor issue, then perhaps the donor sperm route is the right way to go.

Best of luck

Pip x


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## Sally2 (Nov 24, 2006)

As far as anyone knows, my fertilty is pretty good. For very painful personal reasons I underwent a termination only a year ago, at six weeks of healthy pregnancy. (Sounds ironic, I know.) My FSH is very low and in both clinics, doctors have commented that I seem to have the fertility of a woman who is several years younger. 

Of course, this is not something I can assume or be complacent about, and fertilty is declining all the time at this age. But I am feeling s dehumanized and beaten by failed IUI attempts (and the whole clinic system) not to mention poor after all these costs - at least the personal donors give me a way of controlling the situation. I met one today and he seemed very nice and he was also very nice looking. I'm meeting another tonight. Both appear to be doing this for purely altruistic reasons. Perhaps I'm being naive...?


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## jess p (Sep 25, 2004)

Hi,

Have you had a hysteroscopy?  My clinic have just mentioned to me that I should have had one as I have an implantation problem! Only been undergoing treatment for 4 years!!! Would have been nice if it was mentioned earlier!

Basically, after a termination or m/c, apparently scar tissue may form in the uterus & by having this v minor procedure they can see if this is an issue.

Don't beat yourself up about the termination - I had one many years ago & so did plenty of other people on this site- it was the right decision at that time.

Good luck!  
Love Jess x


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## Sally2 (Nov 24, 2006)

Thank you, Jess! I'm not beating myself up about the termination exactly - while it feels sad and tragic, I don't actually regret it; for one thing, I know how difficult it would have been for me to have the father of that child in my life in any capacity at all. 

But if I don't have success soon, I may consider this procedure you're talking about...do you know what it costs?

S


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## petdowe (Mar 17, 2006)

,
I am really sorry hun that your 3rd iui did not work i am sending you a few  cause thats what you truely deserve right now take care love nicky.
Ps I know it wont make you feel a 100% but i just thought me sending you a  would make you feel alittle better.


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