# Scared to leave treatment alone



## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

Hi everyone.

I had a BFN this time last week, after 2 ICSI cycles in 5 months (the first was cancelled due to poor stimming). I desparately need a rest from the treatment physically and emotionally, plus we need to save up, so originally we didn't plan to try again for maybe even a year. 

I started Uni this week as a "mature" student and its all been overwhlming.  I can't get my head round the BFN, and I need a rest and want to do well at uni, but I so badly want a baby I'm scared to move on from the BFN as I feel like it is the only link I have with trying to conceive.  I can't believe after a year of hospital appointments and planning it is all gone.

How long do other people leave it? Anyone got any advice?

Thank you


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## Flopsy (Sep 18, 2003)

Dear Ermey,

So sorry to hear about the negative cycles. Very painful and unfair process this IVF business.

The only thing I found useful after my negatives was a holiday in new surroundings. Different people need different things and the holiday took my mind off treatment and gave me a break.

I tried new projects but found that my mind would not settle and it took time to "grieve".

As you have just started uni and need to save up I realise that this is not an option for you.

Hopefully others will be able to share their experiences and suggest other ideas. I could do with them as well!

With love from,


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## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

Hi Ermey 

I so sympathise with you sweetheart.

I am having a terrible time with this cycle and have said that I dont know whether I can do any more after this one. However, I feel that when nothing is happening and I'm in between time is ticking away fast. I have done 3 cycles this year and now feel that maybe I should have had a longer gap in between to rest mentally as well as physically.

I think you have to decide when you're ready. You're consultant will advise too. 

I wish you lots of love and luck for the future 

Rachel xx


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## sas jane v (Aug 7, 2003)

Hi Ermey- I found I couldnt face more than 2 cycles per year as took me sometime to get over each one and like Flopsy the only thing that really helped a bit were the holidays away where I would start to feel normal again
I wish you luck with your course it may help once you get into it

    Best of luck and look after yourself

  Sarah xx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hi ermey,
so sorry about your bfn 

i too have had 2 failed cycles in the space of a few months (first ivf in jan/feb second ivf may/june), my dh has insisted i have no more tx this year 

to begin with i was gutted and didn't want to wait but he held firm, now i am glad he did i feel like me again and i am not worrying about my next tx and although i'm not giving up i'm not expecting to fall pg naturally, i feel like a weight has been lifted (one that i have been carrying for 6 years) and i now feel my chances of the next tx working are greatly improved as by next may when i intend to do a fet cycle i will be more relaxed about it, well thats the therory  

i hope this makes some sense to you, what i'm trying to say is its still very early days after your bfn hun you will start to feel better soon and don't rush into any decisions. you never know in a couple of months you might be pleased to have a break and be yourself for a bit

good luck with uni and whatever you decide to do

luv pam xxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

P.s. i meant to also add, feel free to join us all on the chitter chatters they are a great bunch of ladies and you'll get tons of support whatever you decide

luv pam xxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

rachel sorry you are having a terrible time hun  , i truely hope this works for you this time you really deserve it as you offered so much support to all of us darling buddies, everything crossed its 3rd time lucky hun

luv pam xxx


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## Ermey (Aug 17, 2004)

hi everyone,

thanks so much for all your kind replies.  Its so helpful and supportive to talk to others going through this.  Uni has been a good distratcion but finding time to grieve has been hard. DH seems to be coping better than me for the first time and yet is the one who adamant about having a rest from the treatment.  

It sounds like you all feel/have felt exactly the same. I do feel like time is ticking away and it feels so strange not to be doing anything pro-active towards TTC.  i can;'t believe how tired i am so really I know should leave it some time and then be properly refreshed and ready ,...so I guess that resting is pro-active too. 

I do desparately need a holiday so will have to start saving...if the worst comes to the worst will have to get our little 2-man tent out, even if I do have to take my uni books with me!

Anyway, sorry to ramble on and hope to come back again soon.

Thanks ever so much


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