# New here



## greenmermaid68 (Jun 6, 2011)

Hi

I'm new here and hoping to find others who can understand what we are going through and can offer some advice.

I'm 42 (43 in a few months) and my husband is 41. In a couple of weeks I am due to start back on clomid. 

My history in brief -  9 pregnancies, 7 miscarriages, 1 late miscarriage and one baby born prematurely who sadly didn't survive. My pregnancies have been a mixture of natural (only two), clomid and ivf. No reasons were ever found for the miscarriages which have happened at various stages from 4 - 13 weeks, the baby who died as a result of the late miscarriage had a chromosomal condition and our baby born prematurely was born after premature pre-labour rupture of the membranes. No reason was ever found for why my waters went so early.

About three years ago I decided enough was enough and my days of ttc were over. Last October I was shocked to find I was pregnant naturally. I went on to miscarry that baby at about 8 weeks and since then have realised how desperately I want to try again. Nothing has happened naturally so we've decided its time to go back to clomid.

We have decided to try three cycles of clomid and if that doesn't work we are planning on going to a clinic in Barcelona for donor egg ivf. At my age I think the chances of success are too slim with my own eggs.

I know that even if I get the big fat positive the chances of me taking home a baby at the end of a pregnancy aren't great but I'm just not prepared to give up on becoming a mother just yet.

I have a fantastic GP and am under a very understanding consultant. 

I can't talk about this to most of my friends or family as they all think its time I stopped chasing a dream which to date has always ended in heart break. But then again they all have their children at home with them.............................

Thanks for reading.


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## pmc (Nov 15, 2010)

Hello and welcome to the site. I am relitively new to the site too, but there are an awful lot of people on here, who give excellent advice, as we have all been through similar circumstances. So you are in the right place.

I am so sorry to here of your traumatic experiences, I know how you feel of not wanting to give up just yet being a Mummy. I am 41 and recently went to see my consultant after 3 fail IVF attempts. She told me to never give up as there is always hope. So take it from my consultant Greenmermaid, never give up.

Sorry that I cant advise you on anything, but I am sure someone on here will. I wish you all the very best in your plans.
Take care.


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## Cornflower (Jun 5, 2011)

Hi Greenmermaid68, I'm afraid I don't have enough knowledge of fertility issues to advise you but just wanted to say how amazingly brave and determined you are. I'm inspired by your strength.


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## Kuki2010 (Oct 22, 2009)

Hi Greenmermaid68,

It is heartbreaking to listen to your story. I am so very sorry..

Have you ever been tested for immunes? Have a read on 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=52.0

Finding out what's wrong is almost easy but try to fixing it still very unclear..

Wishing you lots and lots of luck.

Love. Kukixx


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## BLJ (Sep 30, 2010)

Hi, 

So sorry to hear about your losses. It's so hard to deal with. I think I understand a bit of what your feeling. We've just lost our gorgeous 1st baby at 23w5d. My waters broke at 21 weeks and I managed to hang on for 2 1/2 weeks until I got an infection that started labour. Our beautiful boy Daniel was born sleeping now 3 1/2 months ago. We had 3 IVFs and are now thinking of starting again soon. 

I'm also very scared of not being a mom to a baby that I can have physically with me I sometimes think - what's the point. Remember though we already are moms but our babies are in heaven. At my follow-up appointment I asked my consultant about my age (I'm 40) and if that had anything to do with what happened. He somewhat reassured me by saying that it had nothing to do with it. He said age is an issue because of decreased quality of eggs and because if your older your more prone to having other health problems. The way I interpret that is that ok maybe it takes longer to get pregnant but once you are and you get past the 12 weeks your chances are just about as good as a younger woman. As you say maybe donor eggs might be the way to go for you.

I'm also thinking maybe adoption. I just know I have too much love to give I need to have a family. 

You're so brave to keep going as you are I really hope you will get to bring a healthy happy baby home soon.

Thinking about you


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## greenmermaid68 (Jun 6, 2011)

BLJ thank you so much for your reply. I am sorry i am only replying now.

Our stories are very similar. I am sorry Daniel is not still here with you. Mine was an ivf pregnancy. My waters also went at 21 weeks and my daughter was born at 23+6 after I too picked up an infection. From what we were told by my consultant almost all pregnancies with prolonged premature rupture of the membranes ends with an ascending infection.

We decided to go down the egg donor route and were due to fly to Spain for our first appointment in a couple of weeks. We only booked the appointment and the flights at the weekend. 

And then surprise surprise I get a positive pregnancy test. I have already been seen by my epu and have a fantastic consultant who is really on the ball. She has started me on progesterone pessaries, is doing weekly swabs, and is seeing me each week.

I am only four weeks now and know its a blooming rocky road but if i get a baby to take home at the end of it it will be worth every day of the stress.


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## Frangipan (Jun 4, 2006)

Greenmermaid
Fantastic news that you have such a supportive consultant. Fingers crossed this is it for you after such tragic losses. All the luck in the world to you, keep us posted.
Big    to all you other ladies on this challenging journey
Angela xxx


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## Helen3 (Dec 2, 2010)

Hi greenmermaid,
I am so sorry to hear about your terrible losses. However, have you ever been checked for immune issues Have you tried to find out why you've had repeated m/cs from more than one consultant? In general, there seems to be a lot of mixed evidence & therefore mixed advice for fertility issues. Would you consider seeing an immune specialist and/or someone who specialises in m/c? There are medicines you can take which might help you to bring a baby to term such as prednisolone (steroid), intralipids, clexane, aspirin etc which are safe to take when you are pregnant. I would take a look at the immune board here (under 'Diagnosis' then 'Investigations & immune issues') & post a question for Agate (she's very knowledgeable). Also look at her faq link which is in her signature - everything you've ever wanted to know & more. I know it is none of my business, & you say you have a v good consultant which is great, but I would get a 2nd opinion & as much info as possible, given your history. Your problem doesn't seem to be getting pregnant but getting a baby to term.

Wishing you all the luck in the world & congratulations on your BFP
x


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## greenmermaid68 (Jun 6, 2011)

Hi 

Thanks for your reply.

We have had tests from many sources. Obviously it started off with our own hospital who drew a blank. We then went to Liverpool Women's for tests including nk cells which showed no issues. We then went to see Prof Regan in St Marys and again had the full series of tests which again gave no definitive answers. Each of my losses have been quite different and at all stages. 

The most likely reason is a problem with egg quality as a result of treatment I have received for cancer some years ago.

However in saying that my daughter was "healthy" when she was born, just born too early so "that" egg was ok. 

I will of course have a look at the thread you are talking about - I am constantly on the quest for any possible reason. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.


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