# Advice please



## A123 (May 27, 2011)

Hello,
I have been a member of this forum for some years after finding it hard to conceive my children naturally. I was wondering if you might be able to help me with somthing. 
I have a friend who I have know for sometime, she has a child. At a gathering an old friend of hers mentioned to me that her child was adopted. I didn't react and haven't said anything since to my friend as I want it to be her decision to tell me as and when she wishes. My frie d has asked to speak with me, I think it is to tell me that jer child is adopted. Adoption is a beautiful journey, but I don't know what to say to my friend. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I want to say the right thing. I love my friend and I adore her child.

Please can you advise me on anything I should or shouldn't say? How I can support her in telling me this? Anything I can do to support her going forward?

Thanks all, A123 x


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

I think you should stick  to the fact that you love your friend and adore her child....
I guess your friend adopted a while ago if you didn't know about it?


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## A123 (May 27, 2011)

Hi, thank you so much for your ur reply. Yes I have known the family for 9 months ish, I obviously don't know the date of adoption.

I am cautious, because I know the pain of people asking insensitive questions whilst experiencing infertility and I really want to make sure I don't make any insensitive comments when I am totally unaware of even how hard this will be for my friend to say. Any advice other than being honest and saying how much we adore their family? Thank you for your openness


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## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Ok, so insensitive questions would be things like 'where/ who are the 'real parent's '
Questions about the child s history....
Try not to treat them any differently than you would anyone else.

I think 'congratulations ' is a great place to start!


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