# How to keep faith after BFN



## GD (Jul 13, 2013)

Hi ladies,

i hope you all dont mind a man posting on here, 

Me and my Beautiful girlfriend have been through a long year(as have weall) we have just finished our first cycle of icsi, although its me with the fertility issues i sort of think iv been able to come to termd with it maybe not working.

never the less like i say just compketed our first cycle, we got 5 eggs collected, injected but only 2 fertilized and ET day 3.

we are now 10dp3dt and although advised not to do it we have done a HPT or 2 and all come back BFN not even a feint line. we are in for our beta tomorrow and i dont know what to think, my girlfriend is putting on a brave face, i know her better then she thinks and i know when she feels beaten. im trying to stay up beat BUT i dont want to just incase we dont get the result we want. i know that may sound daft but we, like most have felt the big fall when we get bad news i dont want her to hurt any more.


hope you all get results you want and im sorry if iv put any of you on a downer.


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## kk79 (Nov 11, 2013)

Good morning GD and welcome. This site is for all of us on this journey, not just us girls.

Its a real toughie this, having 2 fails and looking like our third is ending in another another bfn, i know how hard the bad news feels. From my experience a brave face will only hold out so long. Give your girl a massive hug and let her get a dam good cry out - she will need it, you both might.

Also, although it sounds obvious, make sure you have copious amounts of wine and chocolate to hand. never underestimate the healing power of excess calories. 

i also try to remember when the chips are down, about all the things i am thankful for. ie the good health of my nearest and dearest, and how no matter what the outcome of this journey we are all ok. A good friend of mine is battling cancer at the moment and i know everyones pain is different, that really puts my problems in perspective. If IVF doesnt work, i will still have a lovely time with my husband full of fun love and laughs. Yes, i'll always feel like i missed out on a massive chunk of life experience and its painful to think i'll never be a mum but the world keeps turning and you have to turn with it.

IVF is very personal and everyone is different so i dont know if any of that helps. But all the very best with the blood test and i hope things work out for you both. x


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## kk79 (Nov 11, 2013)

oh, and BTW most of us test early even though were not supposed to! x


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## GD (Jul 13, 2013)

kk,

thanks for the reply and the understanding.

in on way a negative today is still not a deffinate no YET.  its not over till the fat lady signs so to speak. 

we have both took the day off after the beta and have our weekend free to just switch off from the world wst ever the result.

really sorry to hear about you and your BFNs but we have to stay upbeat.

xx


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

http://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test/dpo-chart.php?dpo=13

good luck.

/links


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## GD (Jul 13, 2013)

Gold bunny,

thank you very much, still got a little hope there for us yet.  when we had our ET we were told they were a little slow in developing now we can look at the 2 ways no.

1- they were slow at implanting-hatching-releasing-Hcg and there for tomorrow could give us a decent beta reading (this is what we want to think)

2-the little fighters just stopped developing

we have trawled the internet and looked at others experiances when on the 2ww and looked at symptoms etc and every last person who has  had to do it is different. so we have to keep up the smiles for now. 

sorry peeps if i seem to just be typing just nice to be able to put it out there to ppl who understand.

THANK YOU


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