# IUI WITH VAGINISMUS PART 11



## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

To you all!

H xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Thanks for the new thread Holly, the link on part 10 takes us to IVF thread though.

Annie, how was your day yesterday?

Emma, How are you today? any AF developments?

We had BMS last night which was again fantastic everytime just seems to be getting better and better. I managed to orgasam with DH inside me and it felt fantastic so intense to be coming at the same time! (sorry tmi) Hardly anything leaked out!

I have a question though..... The day after 's' I have a lot of discharge some is clear some isn't is this normal?
The discharge makes it hard for me to pin point ovulation when we're not using OPK. I have a feeling it was Day 15 this cycle (friday) and we didn't have bms that day  we had bms on sat, sun, wed, sat, sun
We may be otu of the running if I did ovulate when I think I did 

Catch ya later off to work this afternoon 

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Very quiet on here 

Spent 4 hours at work today, it was worth it though the pre-school room is transformed and actually looks like a nursery room rather than a junk room.
Doubt my efforts will be appriciated

Hope everyone is ok

Donna xx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hi Donna

Thanks for letting me know about the link.  I've corrected it now.

H xx

PS - the discharge you have the day after sounds like it is most probably semen.  Don't worry - the good guys will be where they need to be.  The semen helps transport it.  Hopefully you caught the egg oon Saturday after ovulating on Friday... OPK's are good but they do get expensive.  Good luck on your natural 2ww!!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

I had such a lovely weekend. The Spa day was glorious. As the weather was so great we all sat on sun loungers in their perfectly manicured gardens, chatting, drinking, eating. It felt like I was on a girlie holiday. Absolute bliss.

Yesterday I spent the day with my brother and his girlfriend. We went to see my grandmother together, which totally made her day! and generally chilled out.

Donna - Sounds like you enjoyed your 4 hours at work. If you're anything like me organising things isn't work, it's pleasure! I agree with Holly. I think there's every chance you would have caught the egg on Saturday. I have also heard from friends that often after "S" they experience more discharge. Sometimes it's because all that activity moves the juices (sorry) up there around and sends them down, and part of it will be DH's wigglies.
I posted on here last week I think that when I stood up after "bms" it felt like I had niagra falls run out (sorry again). I wasn't convinced that DH was in and reckon most of it was me. Although it really was alot so not sure if DH got anything up there actually?!?! - Jury's still out on that one.

Emma - Any news?!?! I'm sure it's driving you insane, but I'm starting to get butterflies!!!!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi - me again.

Guess what I just went and did?!?!?! - phoned the hospital to arrange the dreaded tube test - aaaahhh!!!!

The nurse I spoke to said they didn't have a note of the Dr agreeing to let me do IUI, but probably the nurse I spoke to didn't write it on tehre as I was meant to get back to her about booking it and as you know I've been putting it off for months! 

She's just going to double check with him and then refer me to the scan dept. They will then write to me and we have to somehow co ordinate a date with my period. I told them good luck with that as I have no idea when the next one is coming!

Anyway i've done it and now I feel sick with nerves. I am utterley petrified. Conversely though I am beyond excited as IUI could start as early as October if all goes well with the test!

OH MY GOD!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hellooooo - anybody out there? Uh oh - have I scared you all away


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Honestly - I'm starting to get a complex  

Emma - Maybe you are holding back on BFP news for us?

Donna - Maybe you & DH are tangled up after oodles of bms and currently unable to get out of the giant knot?!?!

Maybe you have all signed on somwehere else and decided to outcast me? Maybe you've all gone to the Maldives with Polly? Maybe Polly didn't go to the Maldives after all and you're all together in some secret location. Maybe you've all been pregnant for months, didn't want to tell me and are currently all off giving birth somewhere?

In the absence of any news you see I have to make some up! 

Somebody pleeeeeaaase sign on and tell me your news. This is worse than being cut off in Zante!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello

Sorry Annie, No not in the maldives or secrestly pregnant I am affriad. Went to the gym after work and was shattered by the time I got home yesterday.

Your weekend sounded fab I am so jealous. I am off work next week but doubt I'll be doing anything exciting. The way things are going I'll probably be having job interviews! work is getting me down but as I have only been there 5 months doens't look very good on my CV if I leave.

Re: Jucies after bms

I got some run out of me when I stand up after bms to! if you don't mind me asking which position do you use? I am always on top which I don't think helsp with the leakage of wriggles or ttc!
Holly thanks for putting my mind at rest about the discharge  

Emma I hope your are ok? I know you were having internet problems so I am assuming this is why you have been absent? I hope your alright.
You may even have a BFP..................... ARRRGGGGHHH I need to know 

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - Not knowing how Emma is doing is driving me crazy too! What are you thinking - BFP? I hope so.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Annie

Emma I hope you are ok I am getting a little worried now.

Annie I am so sorry I forgot to put in my last post Well doen for booking tube test! When is it?? IUI as soon as OCT wow its all go for you now you must be so excited and nervous I know I was. I f I can help in any way with regards IUI just ask.

It is really quiet on here with out emma, I hope so much she has a BFP, I am hoping that it wasn't a negative and she is too upset to come on here 

Come back Emma

Take care Annie

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I am starting to get a bit worried about Emma now. I seriously hope everything is alright  

No news about the tube test yet. They said I have to wait for a letter from the scan department and we have to co-ordinate dates with my periods. So we'll start there and take it 1 step at a time.

Thanks so much Donna for offering your support. I was hoping you'd be happy to help me through the 1st cycle and answer the questions I will no doubt have!

How are you feeling today?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Annie,

Emma I hope you will logging on this weekend, we miss you.

Annie of course I'd be more than happy to support you and help in anyway I can, you don't even need to ask hun. Although I don't think I know that much not really.

I am now on hoilday for a week!!!!!!!!!!!! yipppeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Not going anywhere or doing anything special just realxing and spending time with DH. we will probably drive each other mad though. I am hoping for nice weather and a BFP at the end of next week   

I hope you are well, any plans for this weekend?

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Donna

I'm in work at the moment. Got some time to make up. It's a bit weird being in here on my own! I've walked round and made sure no one is lurking under their desk! 

I'm going to a 70's party tonight. I've borrowed an authentic dress from the era from a friend. Thought I'd try going blonde tonight and bought a wig - it looked bloomin awful. Made my face look really chunky! Abandoned that idea. I'm sat here trying to figure out how to jazz it all up a bit  

Hope you and DH have a lovely week off. If you get a chance during the day come and log on here and save me from boredom or from chatting to myself!

Hopefully Emma will come back to us this week with a BFP!

Take care hun, talk to you later xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I'm back! I have missed you guys sooooooooo much this week. I had router problems (sounds painful) and haven't been able to use the internet for a week. I was going crazy. My lovely new router arrived today and I just had to rush to the spare room and get it connected.

Well, I have news..........

            

I just can't believe it! I only took the test this morning (at 4.30 am when I couldn't sleep and couldn't stand not knowing any longer  ). Af was about 5 days late but I was too scared to test earlier. OMG. I can't stop trembling as I write this. I'm absolutely delighted and shocked (sort of) and, most of all, petrified of something going wrong.

I could never have got here without you all.    

I so hope that you won't be upset. If one of us can do it then so can we all! I can still talk to you, can't I?!!

Back later,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## struthie (Sep 28, 2004)

Sorry to gatecrash Emma,but wanted to say congrats to you,well done!


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

oh WOW Emma - thats fab news   and what an inspiration for the all the rest of you 

kj x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

KJ, Struthie - thank you so much!

Donna, Annie - where are you? Have you all run off to the Maldives?

I'll try and come back here later or tomorrow, but might not be able to. I have MIL staying this weekend. Her and dh have gone to watch rugby today - rather them than me. I have SIL and her 3 little ones coming round tomorrow - can't wait. Definately not telling them anything at all until I have been checked out and know that all is well. MIL was puzzled as to why i wasn't drinking last night; I managed to fob her off with a story about how I might need to drive later in the evening. Not sure that excuse will work tonight too.

Annie - will there be pictures of your 70s outfit?!
Donna - how wonderful that you are off work next week. I'll be sending lots and lots of  and   your way.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

OMG Emma That is fantastic I am over the moon for you and DH!

I am in complete shock though! wow its fantastic, well done I am so pleased I don't know what to say.

Hopefully I 'll follow your lead on friday!

You must tell us when did you ovulate, what days did you have bms? I want to know all so I can do as you have done next month.

Emma, you must be thrilled you have overcome so much and now you have a BFP, Of course you can still talk to us we will be with you every step of the way.

1 down 3 to go, polly will be so gutted she missed this

wow emma talk to you soon

Donna xx

p.s sorry Annie didn't mean to leave you out just so excited. enjoy your party tonight


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna,

I really hope it happens for you on Friday.

I can't remember offhand on which days we had bms. I'm pretty sure it was only 3 times and I ovulated on day 13 (one of the times was definately on the same day as ovulation). I'll have to check my diary and get back to you. I wonder if it was helped by the fact that I really took things easy in the week after ovulation (leading up to implantation). I seem to remember that the weather was bad and I spent more time than normal lounging on the sofa reading and watching DVDs. Dunno if that made a difference. 
I certainly drank more wine than in the other months   and perhaps worried about it less (until af was overdue and I was a nervous wreck) than normal because of all the moving worried.

The thing is - just a nagging doubt - did I get pg then, or could it even have been the previous month when af was 8 days early and very light? I'll try to see my GP next week and perhaps I'll know more then. I have nausea and no appetite (I even couldn't eat a piece of chocolate cake earlier today) and I think it is too early for that. Perhaps it is all in the mind......

Anyway, now we have to get bfps for everyone else.

Take care Donna, and rest up!
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - just saw your PM. Yes, I did wake dh up and then neither of us could go back to sleep. And we couldn't get up or move around too much because MIL is staying and sleeps with her bedroom door open.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

Very funny about MIL staying, I have an imige of you and DH jumping all over the bed and trying to be quiet!   

I am still overwelmed by your news and I would imagine you are to! It is possible that you are 8-9 wks preg instead of 4 maybe they will book you in for an earlier scan so they can check? let us know when your off to see GP, you know we love to know every detail (we are nosey but in a nice way)

sorry if this is rude but can I ask what postion you use/used when having sex? my reason for asking is that I am always on top (still can't cope with being underneath) and fear this is no good for ttc

I will def follow your advice and rest lots next week, you rest up to xx

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Annie hurry up and sign on your missing all the news!

Emma how are you?

DH is working today so have spent the morning pottering about and tidying the house, as I am going to be in my house more next week I thought I would tidy up a little, amazing what a little dusting and hoovering can do to a place!

Think I may lay in the garden and paint my nails or something now before I have to pick DH up a 6

Feel very chilldd out today but thats probably because I don't have work tommorrow, wish I could take a few months off to concentrat in TTC, but whos to say that would help.
I think AF is on her way for me  but know I feel guilty about going to gym last week, I am just fed up with putting life on hold, never planning to far ahead because I might be pregnant and stopping my normal life in the 2ww, just thought I should carry on as normal but now I wish I hadn't.

Its probably asking to much to have 2 BFP anyway maybe next month eh

enjoy the sun

Donna


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna

I really hope af isn't on the way. Like you say, you can't put your life on hold - you'd go crazy.

Your day sounds lovely and very chilled.

I have had a lovely day, but very tiring. SIL and her 3 children (5, 3 and 1 years) came for lunch, then this afternoon MIL and I took them to the local splash park for water-based fun. The middle one had the tantrum from hell because we wouldn't let her wear her shoes on the wrong feet.  I'm just going to relax and enjoy the rest of the day.

As for positions, it was a classic missionary one each time, I'm afraid. I find that so much easier (but I think that is unusual for vag sufferers), and it seems to allow much deeper penetration. Mind you, I think it is more fun being on top! I did rest for 30 minutes afterwards with my legs in the air each time (mind you, i did that the other months with no luck).

Annie - where are you? Having too much fun somewhere?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Maybe I Should go back to laying down afterwards, I used to do that but have stopped recently as it felt like we were only have 's' for a baby.

As you said who's to say anything makes a diffrence you have done the same for months so maybe it just happens when it happens regardless of what you do or don't do

I am hoping to follow your lead very very soon ttc is driving me mad

Your day at the water park sounds great I love things like that.
I am very chilled today its great, going to my aunts in Bexhill on thursday and will be back on Sunday (I can log on down there) I though that when AF arrives on friday it would be good to be somewhere else

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!!!


OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!!! Congratulations Emma!!!!! I just knew it would be a BFP for you this time. I can't believe one us of has done it. I am so happy for you. This is such an achievement. To think that only a few short months ago we all thought getting a BFP was a dream. You had better stick with us Emma Daffodil! I want daily updates! I want to know about the sickness, tiredness, first move, first kick, braxton hicks, labour... all of it. Are you going to find out what sex the baby is. When is your due date. What names are you thinking of?


I wish I could join you but a natural BFP just isn't going to happen for me. My cycles are too irratic. It's clear that IUI/IVF is the only way for me. Fingers crossed it shouldn't be too long before I get started. Think AF is coming today or tomorrow. The twinges are certainly there. So if my letter arrives from the hospital this week I can schedule my scan in and hopefully get cracking. I'm really scared that I'm going to have blocked tubes now. I guess we'll see  

Donna - Fingers crossed for you on Friday. 2 BFP's would be wonderful.

Polly - such a shame you've missed this. Hurry back!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning,

It was driving me mad Annie that your wasn't online over the weekend, I am still in shock over Emma's news. Its amazing one of us has done it I guess deep down I never thought it possible.
It has given me hope
Although sadly I don't think there will be 2 BFP this month. I am still hoping that I will be celebrating by christmas, so could you be if IUI starts in Oct.

Emma, how are you doing updates please? whens yout appointment with GP - its so exciting. H ave you and DH left cloud 9 yet 
Did MIL suspect anyting?

DH has let for his Driving test! its at 10:44 and I really hope he passes.

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

DH is on his driving test eeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkk I am so nervous


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Let me know how DH gets on Donna!

A BFP could very well hapen for you too ya know. Stay positive!

I'm still in shock about Emma's news. I can't beleive we've had a breakthrough. Hope it starts a chain reaction of BFP's!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I know I still can't believe it, where is she today? I need daily updates!

Yes I am hoping its a sign and by christmas we'll all have BFP.

My friends is coming round today and she iss 33 weeks pregant I know I'll feel crap after seeing her

So happy i'm not working today! DH's test is over now but have to wait for him to get home for verdict

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm having a feel sorry for myself today. Another friend had a BFP this weekend- or I think she has. Waiting for it to be announced officially.

Was feeling that "it'll never happen for me"  thing today


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

Donna - hope dh did OK. Is it his first one? I can't wait to hear.
What a great idea to go away for the end of the 2ww; it might help take your mind off things.
I was thinking about what I said yesterday about positions. I guess it wasn't really a 'classic' missionary position but a variation - I had my legs wrapped tight around dh's back so my bottom was perhaps more elevated, if that makes any sense at all.

Annie - even if you find out that your tubes are blocked, it might not be such a bad thing. At least they'd know what the problem was and can fix it.
How was the 70s bash?

Well I saw my GP this morning. She said that if I'd done 2 tests (Clearblue digital) then there was little doubt, so she didn't need to do a test herself. She is fairly sure that I'm only at 5 weeks not 9 (I'd have horrible brown nipples by now, apparently, if that was the case). Due date will be 11th May, just after my birthday! He or she is bound to be early though as dh and I are early for everything! I feel a bit in limbo now though. My health authority doesn't do any scans or blood tests before 12 weeks at the earliest, apparently. Unless something goes wrong in the intervening period I have to go back and see her in 2 weeks just to check everything is progressing OK.
Annie - to answer some of your questions: I have to go to the bathroom _all _ the time, which is fine in the day but is disrupting my sleep at night. I also have had nausea in the mornings and evenings for the last few days and I have no appetite at all (very odd for a greedy chocolate-loving person like me). Sex, names etc - it is far too early to think about that; I'm so scared of tempting fate. It just cannot go wrong......
I don't even know what braxton hicks is - is it anything like branston pickle?

I don't know anything about being pg at all; I never allowed myself to look that far ahead for fear of getting hurt.

Anyway, that is more than enough about me.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie - our posts overlapped - so sorry. I am being completely insensitive.

It _will_ happen to you one day, even if not 'naturally'. I hope you can get cracking on tx soon.

Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Dh failed! he is booking another now.

Annie sorry you are feeling down hun, it will be you next I am sure xx

Emma, lol at branston pickle! 5 wks that is fantastic I undersatnd you are still anxious but I am sure all will be fine, there is no reason for it not to be. But I know I would be worried to.
Did you have any signs in 2ww?

Sorry to hear that sickness has stared, it hadn' last time you posted. I hope it doesn't worsen or last to long.
However sickness stops if something is wrong with baby so my friend said so although its not nice it is a sign that all is ok.
Please don't freak out htough if it stops!

I'm not weeing anymore so maybe not BFP fpr me.

Keep us informed at all times we want and need to now every deatil right up to first dirty nappy.

Take care

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna - sorry about dh's test. Was it his first one? I didn't pass my driving test until I was 30. I seem to be a bit of a late developer with everything......
Actually, I did have the nausea etc last time I posted, I just didn't mention it (I didn't want to drive you all mad with baby talk). I've had it since Thursday. At the time I thought I might have food poisoning. 
Donna, I had no signs at all in the 2ww. From the day af was due I just kind of felt that I might be pg because there were absolutely no signs that af was coming (sore boobs, cramps, CM, increased clumsiness etc), even though I was trying to stop myself thinking that. But everyone is different and will react in different ways. 

Hope you can find a way to cheer dh up.

Annie - are you OK my dear?

Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Yes it was is First test, he seems ok about it and has booked another so fingers crossed for tehn.

I def have signs of af, increased discharge being the main one, its so hard going through this each month 
Knowing that you have done has given me hope that it CAN happen.

Had a lovely day today went for a walk round a fishing lake near maidstone, DH and friend and her DH all fish but I just went fot the ride. very relaxed and chilled out day.

spent whole day talkign to friend about babies, child birth etc becuase of my nursery nurse qualification and the fact I work with babies she was keen to ask me a few things. Great talking about it but always feel a little down after.

Ordered chinese (that we can't afford - but bank kindly gave me overdraft! ) so will soon forget all about.
Stupid really sorted all my credit card and loan debt out just to accept an overdraft  

Hope you all well, Polly hurry home your missing everything

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Some genius has managed to lock my PC at work. Think it's some chappie playing a joke on me, but one is not amused!!!

I'm feeling a bit better this morning. Had a good talk to myself last night about how there's nothing I can do, I have no choice but to go through IUI or even IVF. Suck it up and get on with it! you know me I don't stay down for long.

Donna - sorry DH failed his driving test. I often wonder how I passed mine. Either the examiner fancied me or he felt sorry for me as I was suffering bad from hayfever that day! 
Sorry to be nosey, but naughty you for getting an overdraft!!! Step away from the borrowing Mrs!

Emma - How is the house hunting going? Any luck selling yours yet?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Annie - I'm glad you're feeling a bit happier today.  No luck with the house yet, I'm afraid.
Have you started writing your book yet?

Donna - any exciting plans for today?
Your dh has done the right thing by booking another test straight away - bound to pass next time. Do you take him out to practice in your car?

Nothing much happening here.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Still toying with a few ideas at the mo Emma! I think I might get a nice journal and just brainstorm for now! - see where it leads me

No letter from the hospital either . Typical - now I'm up for it!!!

Are you & DH still floating on cloud 9 Emma? - I'm still buzzing from your news. I was thinking that if you have a girl, your Fertility Friends should get a shout out! Possibly a Polly Donna-Marie or Donna - Marie Polly - what do you think?

How many months did it take you in the end? 4/5?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Emma how are you? you need to change your ticker now  

Feeling a bit crampy today so AF is on her way which will more than likely spoil my few days away.

No plans for do just chilling.

Annie I do try to stop borrowing but its hard when you have no money. Its not like I go shopping every week or DH and I go out all the time. We hardly ever do anything becuase of lack of £ but when we do its no usually our money  Overdraft doesn't feel like real money as I wont pay interest if I clear it by the end of the month, I'll always be living off overdraft now though wont I  

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Feeling like it is never going to work.

Decided that we will carry on as we are until xmas then use OPK till june - this will mean we have been trying naturally for 1 year! we will then go for more tests and treatment, something that I fear we will need


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Donna - I know how you feel. Look at Emma though. She's shown us it can and will happen. We just need to keep going. 4 goes at trying to conceive naturally really is early days. 

Chin up Donna. We'll get all 4 of us over the finishing line, no matter how long it takes


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello again

Donna - I'm too scared of tempting fate to change my ticker; I'll add a new one at 12 weeks if all is well.

I can't remember if I've asked this before, but did your dh get his sperm checked out when you started ttc?

Annie - I _am_ excited, especially when talking with dh (we talk of nothing else at the moment), and so amazed that it has happened, but at the same time I am so aware of all that can go wrong. You only have to see how many people on FF have had eptopics and miscarriages to realise that things can and do go wrong all the time. I am a terrible worrier at the best of times.
As for names, we'll see! MIL keeps telling me that if dh (or his brother) produce a child it has to be named after his father (Robin) who died 3 years ago; SIL has 3 children (one of whom has it as a second name) but they don't count because the surname is different! The thing is I don't really like the name but she has been so good to me that perhaps I'll feel obliged to run it. She doesn't know about any of this yet and won't for many weeks yet.

I love buying notebooks and journals, Annie. I always think that if they are really beautiful then I'll write something fabulous inside! 

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

emma - I wonder what Dr Sex would make of your BFP!!! Are you going to tell your parents?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie that is a very good point, Emma I owuld have to phone Dr Sex and tell her  

Emma I see what you mean about not wanting to change your ticker, may as well delete your old one though as you no longer ttc 

Both DH and myself have ahd everything checked out and all seems fien, I am only concerned because on the IUI thread they talk about sperm counts for IUI being 29 million and I am sure DH never gave a sample that was that high  you also hear loads of people that get teats done on teh NHS (like I did) only to have them repeated privately to find there is something wrong. maybe private clincs just find thinghs wrong to make more money though eh?
I'm just having a bad day because I felt very AF like this morning, no more cramps but do feel very bloated.

But as Annie said you are prove that it can happen and I hope it is only a matter of time for Annie, Polly and me. your BFP is an inspiration  

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

I've deleted my ticker Donna. It was looking untidey.

I _will_ tell Dr Sex (I told her at our last session that I'd let her know when/if it ever happened), but I'll wait until things are definately officially OK. Maybe she'll get a performance related bonus!

Donna - I don't know about NHS sperm tests either. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but dh had his done twice at the local hospital. The first one had such poor motility (4%) that they made him do another a month later in case there was a mistake. The second one was even lower (he was so upset he wouldn't even tell me how much lower). But when I went to see the gynae at L&DH, who had a copy of the results, he said that the local hospital was so useless at that kind of thing that the results weren't worth the paper they were written on. I didn't know what to think at the time.
You could be right about private clinics having to justify their existence though by finding things wrong.

I think you can have a post-coital test done to see if your body is welcoming dh's sperm or not, or something like that.

I have been soooooo lazy this afternoon. I went to bed for a nap and was asleep for hours! i stil feel really groggy.

Let's hope it is a good sign that your af feelings have gone away. 
Annie - has yours arrived yet? I hope your letter comes tomorrow.

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Your body is making a baby emma you are bound to feel tired make the most of it hun. is DH making a fuss of you?
I think we will try for another 8 months which take us up to 1 yr of ttc naturally before we think of any more tests or treatment. don't think I could face it at the moment, but who knows could feel different next month.
Dh had his first test done at st thomas's but guys wasn't happy with it so he had it done again at guys everything was in normal limits so think I am worrying over nothing.
The fact you are pregnant emma must mean they were wrong with DH results.

I cant wait to se you new ticker when the time is right  

No more AF pains yet, but feel like the size of a house which is usual for AF. hope it comes a bit early rather than arriving when we are away.

Dh and I have been talking about relocating somewhere, maybe bexhill we have always talked about since we ment but it has never felt the right time. Not sure now is the right time either but thinking about it some more.

Hope your appointment arrives Annie

Take care

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna - relocation sounds interesting. Do you have family and friends in Bexhill? I know I've been there when I lived in south London but I can't remember anything about it.  Would you change jobs if you moved? Did you decide finally on whether or not to redecorate where you are now? I wish I could hurry up and move........

Annie - did your letter come?

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Still no chuffin hospital letter   I bet it'll take bloomin weeks now!!! 

Still no AF either and like you Donna I feel the size of a house. It must be coming soon though. I'm well grumpy and don't like DH being near me. I always seem to get personal space issues when AF is coming. Freak or what!

I was awake at 3am again this morning thinking all sorts until I almost went in to a panic attack. I haven't done that since my Dad was poorly. I was thinking about what I have to go through, how it might not work - EVER! and how unfair that this is happening to me, about how much I've been through already and what a rotten couple of years I've had.

Then I rolled over, went back to sleep and woke up thinking how depressing I must be for you guys!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - are you OK now? I am worried about you. You are not depressing at all, in fact you seem a very chirpy person. But even chirpy people are allowed off days, especially if af is coming.  It is better that you come on here and vent your feelings rather than bottling things up or pretending everything is fine.
Could you phone the hospital to get them to speed things up (sometimes hospital admin need a kick up the backside)?

It is unfair that it is happening to you, and you have been through an awful lot, but it will happen one day, I'm sure.
I wish I could say something to make everything better, but I know that I can't. 

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Just being here for me is more than I could ever ask for Emma. I hope you stay with us even when baby Daffodil arrives. You've been/are such a good friend, I'd hate to loose you. 

I'm going to be fine, don't worry. I usually am a very upbeat person and it takes a hell of a lot to keep me down. I know I'll have days like this and I know it's alright to feel this way sometimes - I'll bounce back in a few days fighting.

I haven't come this far to crumble just as we might be actually doing something  - finally.

I think I'll leave it til Monday and then call the hospital to ask what's happening. It has only been a week since I called to say "get me the hell in there"!!!

I am a bit worried IUI won't work and that I'll have to wait for IVF and then go through the hell of that treatment. In fact it scares me senseless. One step at a time though I guess.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Woke early with AF pains but they have gone now so hopefully I am free to enjoy the rest of the day, Annie I am the opposite to you and get emotional and cuddly when AF is going to arrive.
don't feel so big today but I'm not dressed yet 
Nipples are so sore though feel like they are being attacked with razor blades! sure they have never hurt this much before!

Annie sorry you are feeling rotten I know it gets to us all sometimes, please don't think that IUI wont work I know that for some people it doesn't and they move on to IVF but for plenty it works first time! that could be you! don't give up IUI is something new for and it gives new hope, you will be a mum.

We decided to decorate house but thats as far is it got don't seem to have th etime or money at the money at the moment.
My anut and uncle live in bexhill its a nice area but I'm still not sure about moving out of london, i've alwats said I wanted to one day but its easy to say. all my friends and family are in london, DH and I always talk about it so have decided to think about it a little more seriously may look at some properties while we are there on friday.

Just had a lovely bath and face pack, I have to get ready now and meet a friend for lunch then DH and I are going for a jaccuzzi and steam room then over to my mums for BBQ and watch the footy.

Wont be round much today

Emma how are you feling?

Take care all

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - your day sounds lovely. You do like your baths don't you; hope they're not too hot. Looks like you'll have a nice day for the BBQ. I have to say I have no interest in football or cricket at all. I used to pretend to when I first started going out with dh but now I just can't be bothered.
There's no harm in looking at properties in Bexhill; it might help you to make up your mind one way or the other.

Annie - of course I'm staying here. You can't get rid of me that easily! I'm just very conscious of the fact that other people getting a bfp has been upsetting for you and Donna and I don't want to make you feel even worse.
Personally, I wouldn't wait a week to call the hospital. You've nothing to lose by calling sooner and I reckon it'll make you feel heaps better if you know that something might be happening for you soon. You know that Polly would tell you to call ASAP!

I have been cleaning all morning. No viewings in the pipeline though. I am limbo at the moment. I am waiting for some work from a Japanese chappie. I don't want to do anything much in my allotment to be on the safe side, and I don't want to cook because I have no appetite. Guess I'll just have to slob out on the sofa and watch DVDs. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Alright for some Emma! I have to wait for the weekend to relax and enjoy watching DVD's. 

Sorry the house sale isn't progressing at the moment. Maybe fate is waiting until you get a big bump that'll make moving all the more interesting!

Other people getting a BFP has been a bit upsetting in the past - but they haven't been through anything near what you have and haven't waited years for a BFP. I could never possibly be upset with your BFP Emma. Not after what we've all been through together and I'd like to think we'll go through your BFP together. Being friends is all about the bad and the bloody fantastic!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

O.K - I have to have a rant about something afteroon and any offers of advice or opinion would be much appreciated!

Once again it is a friend issue. So the story goes - 

I have a friend that joined my team at work a short while ago. She's a lovely bubbly person, but can sometimes talk a heck of alot and alot about herself. Regardless she's one of my closest friends and I love her dearly. This "chatty" side of her personality is certainly not all of her.

Anyhoo. I started inviting her to join me and some other work friends for lunch as she seemed to be alone most days. I always though the existing friends we're a jolly good bunch of peeps and would welcome new friend to the fold. New people come along all the time. Heck - how would we have all become friends if not for change?!?!

After one such lunch I was quietly spoken to and informed that new friend was not so welcome to lunch (can't believe how pathetic this sounds) as her personality was a little irritating to the group. Fair enough on one hand. Why should you be subjected to someone who annoys you on your lunch break. Maybe I shouldn't have assumed it was alright to ask someone to join us?

Anyway it all eventually blew over - until today. A girls night out was being arranged and I invited new friend along, completely forgetting there would be 1 other person there who does not like her. I was blatantly told today not to invite this person, to which I replied "too late".

I just cannot believe that women can be so darn mean!!! I've been out with other friends before and someone has been invited along that I didn't fall head over heels for - but I never said anything. I'd never dream of it.  I'd never want to make my friend feel bad for bringing this person along - and why shouldn't she. 

It's absolutely crazy. I'm not saying they have to like this girl but who do they think they are! I feel like I'm asking them to let my friend join the most exclusive club in town and they're looking down their noses at her application. What *****es!

I'm upset that a friend of mine is thought of like that and I'm upset that I'm not their favourite person for bringing her along to events. 

Sorry - I know I'm in the wrong on some aspects of this and believe me lessons have been learnt. It's just making me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I'm not sure i want to spend time with horrible people like that.

Sorry again -rant over.  Thanks for listening as always!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - your life gets so complicated sometimes! I don't think you can win on this one. Is it just one person from the original group who doesn't like your other friend? It all sounds a bit childish - not you, I hasten to add -  but the ones who don't want her to come along. Women can be such b*****s, can't they. Who are they to say that someone in the team is or isn't 'allowed' to come along.
Perhaps they are jealous that someone else could be your friend - maybe they want you all to themselves.

Don't be intimidated and make sure she does come along on the night out. You never know, perhaps after a few drinks they'll warm to her and it will all blow over. It does put a lot of pressure on you though to make sure that the night runs smoothly.

Does they friend have any idea about how the gang feel about her? That would be so awful for her.....

I didn't watch any DVDs in the end, just fell asleep. 

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks Emma - you're right my life is so complicated sometimes and over the most crazy things like this. Noww I've calmed down I'm feeling alot more "whatever" about it. I've got real problems to be dealing with!!!!

Are you feeling quite sleepy at the mo Emma? Good sign that baby is taking all the good stuff out of you! I have a friend who was so tired in the first few weeks that she was going to bed at 5pm!!!!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Day was very enjoyable and very relaxed, I have no interest in footy either just came for food 

Emma your day souned nice to, my firend who is pregant said that at th ebeginning she would get home form work and go to bed, and that some days she didn't even remember going to bed, her legs just must have taken her. Hav egot a pregnancy books yet or are you waiting to hit 12 weeks? I am not sure I  would be able to.

Yes I do love my baths I think it is because the first flat DH and I moved to didn't have a bath (just a shower) so I had nearly to years of no baths so think I am making up for it now. I do lik emy baths quite warm though how hot is to hot??  

Annie women are terrible when they all get together I find that the worst part of being a nursery nurse it is always all women together. You friend should def go on the night out who are they to discriminate they sound so pathetic, it slike playground stuff but sadly thats what some women are like in an all women environment. I think Emma may be right that after th enight out they might realise they like her.

Estate agent hasn't got back to us yet so not sure if we will be seeing any properties, I guess it doesn't matter that mush we are in no hurry but would have been nice.

Brother and DP and ther 20wk scan today and are havong a boy! I am very happy for them but they are calling it Jake, this is a name that DH and I have talked about so bit peed off bout it. silly I know as we probably wouldn't use the name and Brother didn't know so its not like he stole it. Ignore me I'm just being silly. Bbay is due 15th JAN.

No more AF pains seem to be only in early morning, keep expecting AF to be there every time I go to the loo but not yet  Seem very dry doen there to so not sure what all that is about

Take care Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh Donna - It might be a BFP yet!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I do haev that nagging at the back of my mind but I am not that hopefull, I know it has to happen sometimes but I can never see that day if that makes sense


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh Donna - can't you test now! The suspense is too much!!!!

COME ON DONNA!!!!! BFP, BFP, BFP, BFP,BFP, BFP


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna  - I am getting soooooooo nervous for you now. Being dry is a very good sign, surely; do you normally get CM the day or so before? Please, please, please let it work for you this time.   

In terms of baths, I read that if you have to edge in slowly and come out looking like a lobster then it is too hot, but pleasantly warm is just fine. I had a few baths last week before testing so it can't have done too much harm.

Donna - I thought about holding off with baby books until I'd had a scan or reached 12 weeks, but I just can't. I need to know more. I have one but it is so full of information about m/c that it freaks me out and makes me wonder how the human race ever continues. I have ordered some from Amazon which should come today.

Annie - how are things today? Did your letter come?

Dh and I went out for a lovely Thai meal last night. I don't think there'll be too many more meals out in the near future (especially if he is living at the other end of the country to me ). Expensive times lie ahead.

Back later,
Emma, xxxxxx
p.s Donna - keep us posted!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma - Sorry, you probably don't want to hear me moaning yet again but I seem to be going through a rough patch. I'm feeling a bit low about all of this at the moment  

I know how depressing miserable people can be so I shall do my very best to keep my pecker up - especially now we have some things to be really happy about!!!

How are you feeling today? Thai meal sounds lovely. 

Still no letter.Still no AF


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning oops Afternonn everyone,

Thank you Jilly for the good luck but I haev more pain today so not holding out much hope still dry though and I do usually get CM  Every month there seems to be soemthing that gives me hope but never a BFP.

Annie sorry you are feeling down it gets to us all, the waiting for the letter must be getting you doen understandably I would ring the hospital tomorrow otherwise you will be thinking about it all weekend hun.
I am sure once you get you appointment you will feel much better, its always the not knowing and waiting around that drives me mad.
Dont forget that we are all here for you through this though xx

Emma, There is a good book by KAZ Cookie I think her name is definatly KAZ something it is very informative but written in a light hearted non fiction way it is very good. The family I nannied for had it and a few years back when we first started TTC I read it cover to cover, I have a copy but only becuase I got one for a friends but she went out and got the same book. I owuld reccomend it.
I wouldn't be able to wait till 12 weeks to get books either. 

Off to Bexhill soon and I hope the weather is as nice there as it is here, I am also hoping it will take our minds off AF but I doubt it.
DH wants to go to beach int he morning and watch sunrise  sounds nice but not sure I can get up that early.

I will log on when I can, Is Polly back at the weekend?

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Have a fabulous time in Bexhill Donna. I'm hoping the magic will happen for you whilst you're away. Got everything crossed for you and thanks for everything xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - you moan away! Sorry you're feeling so down at the moment. Perhaps af is on the way and making everything seem 100 times worse. When did you last have af by the way - was it before your holiday? 
You _will_ feel better once all the IUI stuff gets going - it helps to feel that you're doing something practical, I reckon. 
How were/are things at work today - what about the lunch arrangements?!

Donna - hope you are having a lovely time in Bexhill and that af is staying away. Your dh sounds ever so romantic. 
I'll have a hunt around for that book you mentioned.

I am feeling really tired again. I'm fine in the morning but my legs teurn to lead weights in the afternoons. Going to go and lie down for a bit. I have had twinges on and off for the past week, on both sides, but today and yesterday they are only on one side, so now I've convinced myself that I am having an eptopic pregnancy and everything is about to go horribly wrong.  Probably just being stupid.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi

Arrived safe and sound it was nice because DH did most of the driving so I could relax. I only had to drive on M25 and we wasn't on there long.

Having a few AF twinges so we will see how things go  

Emma, don't get yourself into a state the pains you are feeling are probably your uterus expanding. Don't forget that there are a lot of things happening and growing inside you so you are bound to feel a few pains. Really I am sure you have nothing to worry about 

Take care 

Donna xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Thanks Donna - I'm sure you are right. As you know, I'm a natural worrier.  I looked up eptopics on the internet - very bad idea - and convinced myself that I was having one. Mind you, I'd probably think I had malaria, lung disease, broken leg, or anything else, if I looked up those. 

Lets hope your twinges don't lead to af. I'm keeping my fingers, legs and toes crossed.  

Good on you for letting dh drive. You must be a very easy-going person to be able to relax with a learner in the car! Mind you, its probably a reflection on his wonderful driving skills. I hope his next test is soon.

Annie - hope you have a nice evening. Get dh to take you out somewhere nice to cheer you up (although not if you still don't want him anywhere near you). 

Take care, both of you
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Donna - Hoping the twinges aren't AF coming and something else! Glad you got to Bexhill safe and sound

Emma - I think every friend of mine that has been pg (and you know that's alot!) have all reported pains in specific areas in the first few weeks. Seems it's the baby bedding in nice and snug. I don't think you have anything to worry about - all sounds normal!

My last AF was before my holiday, infact I think it was literally the week I went away as I was still having the last drops (sorry) the day we got there. So I reckon I must be on day 40 or there abouts. Wish AF would hurry up and come now. I feel 'orrible! Boobs are feelin big, belly is bloated, loads of trapped wind (sorry again!) and just generally not feeling very pretty right now!

I think you're right Emma that I'm probably feeling alot worse because AF is on it's way. Probably why I ranted about the "lunch" thing which I am terribly embarassed about now. I am still cross about it all because I find it all so juvenile and *****y but I guess on another day I would have let it go over my head and dealt wih it. Sorry about that one.

I've booked to see my accupunturist tomorrow to see if she can cheer me up. She's amazing at making you feel better about things and I feel I can really pour my heart out to her. She never simply tells me everything will be alright (just a litle bit). She has a way of making me look at things more rationally!!! So anyway I'm really looking forward to seeing her and seeing if she can work some magic!

Oh - and if that doesn't work I'm booking a trip to Las Vegas today! We go in Feb for my best friends 30th birthday. DH & I are so excited. We went there on our honeymoon and loved it

Wishing you both a lovely day. Speak to you later xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Got up at 5am   and sat on beach and watched the sun rise. It was very nice and peacefull, bloody tired now.

Had some pinkish discharge last night and expected AF to be in full flow this morning, but so far nothing! body probably in shock after getting up so early.
Feel like AF is definatly on her way.

Going to look at a few esate agents in a bit then into hastings go go to the best fish and chip shop in hastings for a fish and chip lunch on the beach.

Annie please don't worry about the other day or how you are feeling we all know exactly where you are comming from you never need to apologise to us.

Emma please try and relax otherwise you will be a nerbous reck by the end of the next nine months. 6wks now aren't you? half way now then you may relax a little more but I am sure you will never relax (I know I wont) Till you are holding you presious baby 

Take care both of you and I hope you can enjoy teh sunshine.

Donna xx

p.s found out yesterday that we have anew manager at work and she is a right Bi**h by all accounts. Great really want to go back to work now


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna - the suspense is killing me.    
How romantic your morning has been, and what a beautiful day for it. I can't remember the last time I ate fish and chips; can you believe there isn't a single fish and chip shop anywhere near where I live. 
Try not to worry too much about going back to work - its not good for you, and you can't do anything about it. Are you still undecided as to whether to stay there?

Annie - Las Vagas, wow! How exciting! Did you make (or lose) a fortune last time you were there? 
I didn't think you were being juvenile the other day, although I thought your work coleagues were. When is the infamous night out?

I'm trying to be less neurotic today. I have sore boobs and was nearly sick this morning, and that has made my day!  I'm just slightly concerned as to why the cramps are more one side than the other. Dh pointed out stuff on the web showing that an eptopic usually involves throbbing pain (rather than niggling cramps) and bleeding, so perhaps I don't have that. Maybe it is something to do with this retoverted uetrus that I have, perhaps it lies more to one side than the other? I also reckon that perhaps spicy food isn't agreeing with me at the moment. The 2 occasions when the cramps were worst came after eating spicy stuff.

Anyway, enough about me. have a nice day everyone. I'm off to do food shopping - lots of healthy and bland food for me!
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - pains on one side still sounds normal to me. That's what most of my friends have reported in the past. Congratulations on the morning sickness!!!!!! Get yourself some ginger biscuits!

Donna - Come on!!!!! I can't wait any longer. Have we got another BFP?!?!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I hope you're right. Sorry to obsess about this.   Part of the problem, for me, is that I never did biology and I don't think I'm terribly clued up on which bits of the body are where. I just assumed that the embryo would be central and then any pains also central.
I hate ginger biscuits (or anything ginger) but perhaps they'll grow on me! I did buy some Marmite this morning though. 

Donna - I am getting sooooooo nervous waiting for your news (although not as nervous as you, I bet).    

Annie - what exciting things are you doing this wekend? You always fit so much into your free time.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Marmite?!?! I love the stuff but never heard of it being a cure for morning sickness. If it does get bad you could also pick up those wristbands people use for travel sickness. Apparently they press on a pressure point on your wrist that stops you feeling queezy. My accupuncturist said that's where she places needles for Mum's 2 Be with this symtpom.

Trust me Emma. Although I may not have experienced a pregnancy myself I have observed approx 15 of them with friends. All had pain on one side in the early weeks. Doesn't the baby latch onto the side of the womb? Maybe from the tube side it popped out of?!?! Don't know that much, but honestly Emma, all sounds good to me. I consider myself a bit of an expert in these matters after all these BFP's! Ask me anything - bet I know! And I also bet that when it comes to my turn (if) I'll forget everything I know and worry! Totally natural.

I actually have not alot planned this weekend. DH is home for the 1st time in like... forever!!! As he's worked til 9pm everday this week he agreed to stay home with me Saturday & Sunday and not play golf at all. No idea what to do now I have him all to myself. 

I'm off to see my accupuncturist for some cheering up in the morning and that's about it.

Anything nice for you guys? Possibly a BFP for Donna of course!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I really appreciate your expertise in these things. I don't know anything at all about being pg, and haven't really got any close friends who are/have been pg. My SIL has had 3 but she is the kind of person who breezes through life without any concerns or worries. I remember her saying she never had m/s and she seemed to have little time for any one who did! I love her to bits, honestly! Your explanation of the biology of it all sounds good to me though! Most reassuring.  
Marmite isn't for m/s as such, I just only seem to like non-spicy savoury things at the moment, and I can't live on cheese and crisps.

Annie - you don't play golf yourself, do you?!
I hope you and dh have a lovely weekend together.

Donna - where are you? How are you?

I'm off to test out the Marmite. It has been years since I last tried some, and I wasn't too keen then. I'll report back.
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Anytime Emma! Glad to be of some use actually!

I don't play golf myself and I did promise I would take some lessons this year that I somehow haven't got around to. It's not really on the top of my to do list. I would like to learn eventually though, for when we're old and can go off on golf holidays!

Mmmm - My mate marmite. I like it best on really thick doorstop bread that has been toasted slightly, lashings of butter that soaks through and then a thin sliver of marmite. Oooohh yes!

Donna - Where the eck are you! We need to know!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello all,

No AF to report yet! I have had some pick discharge on and off though so think or should I say I know that its AF trying to break through! AF might not actually be due till tommorrow as not sure when I ovulated 

Emma I agree 110% with Annie from what I know about pregnancy it all sounds normal. and great morning sickness, have to say I don't envvy that part! I hope it doesn't last long. Eating little but often is ment to help.

Annie I hope you enjoy you rested weekend and seeing your accupuncturist (sorry spelling) keep fancying seeing one myself but have never got around to it.
Might try these foot pads that somebody reccomended on the therapy thread, you out them on your feet at night and they drew out your toxins sound really good and ff's get a discount  I'm up for a bargin.

Must fly now as off to eat fish and chips on beach and everyone is getting inpatient.
Had a lovely afternoon nap earlier after getting up so early 

Talk later xx

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Well I'm not too sure about Marmite, to put it politely. Perhaps it is one of those things you have to get used to, like alcohol. I didn't have any butter, so maybe that was where I went wrong. 

Donna - have you ever had pink discharge before af in other months? I don't remember you saying so.   
How long will you wait before testing? Did you take a test with you to Bexhill?

I want fish and chips! Actually, I'm having fish for dinner, but roasted cod isn't quite the same.

Annie - I wouldn't have the patience for golf, and I have no hand-eye coordination at all.

I am seriously losing the plot this afternoon. I had a cup of tea, but didn't drink it all. I went into the kitchen to tip the rest down the sink, and poured it all over the worksurface by the kettle instead - opposite side of the kitchen all together.   Nutter......

Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening,

Sorry Emma but I laughed out loud at your tea story, Prehnancy does funny things to the brain.

Yeah I am sure I have had a little pink discharge before.
Thing is this month I am much much more bloated and boobs are so sore and large!

But I know in my heart of hearts AF is on her way but you still hang on don't you right till it comes, and sometimes even then we kid ourselves.

Havn't got test with me and have none at home, I'll but one if needed but don't think taht will be the case.

Fish and chips on the beach was lovely 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - how are things? I hope af hasn't made an appearance.    

Annie - hello! Hope acupuncture has made you feel mellow and relaxed.

Polly - perhaps you're back soon?

Take care,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly are you back today?

Annie how are you today? have you made any plans with DH?

Emma, how is morning sickness? is it just in the morning or evening to?

NO AF yet   

But feel very much like its on its way

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I'm getting _very_ excited now.

Perhaps Polly will bring back some news too!

No m/s so far today. In fact I feel just normal - the first time in about 10 days. Not sure if that is a good thing though. Nausea is supposed to be a good sign. 

I've just spent a very dull 2 hours ironing.  off to have some food now.

Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Emma, Please don't worry yourself silly, I wish I hadn't told you about morning sickness being a good sign I didn't want to worry you. If it has stopped it doesn't mean that something has gone wrong.
Please don't worry hun, I feel guilty now I shouldn't have mentioned it.

Still no AF but I wouldn't get to excited, I really don't think its happened just body messing about as it likes to do sometimes!
Felt quite grogggy earlier but not to bad now, bit of brownish discharge but gone now.

Annie how are you?

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Just a quickie to check in and say hello. 

Accupuncture was.. I dunno   It raised alot of things I haven't thought about in a long time and opened some new cans of worms. Certainly gave me alot to think about. Feeling a bit like I just need to go away and sort things out in my head for a bit  

Donna- Sending lots of positive vibes your way today. It's all sounding good. Best of luck hun  

Emma  -  I'm sure everythings going really well. Definitely need butter with your marmite  

Polly - If you're back I hope you had a fantastic time.

Love you all and I'll be back real soon xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - hope you're OK. Anything you want to talk about? It might help clarify things in your mind.

Donna - how long will you leave it before testing?

I am ravenous today. I can't bring myself to have another go with Marmite just yet though. Dh and I managed some S again this morning - the first time in ages. It was very nice  but the leakage is driving me crazy! I keep rushing to the bathroom convinced that I've started bleeding.

I'm off to eat more food and watch dh drink his wine.

Take care everyone, and stay positive Donna  
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I had my first proper m/s last night. Sorry if TMI, but I was sick 4 times in the night, and have honestly never felt so unwell in my life (well, perhaps my first hangover was close). But I was pleased at the same time as it made everything seem more real. I feel fine now, if a bit tired. I've been out this morning to buy ginger biscuits. I can eat them, but they definately wouldn't be my first choice biscuit. I couldn't bring myself to buy ginger tea though. Yuk!

Hope you are all OK.
Donna - any news?  

Annie - are things any clearer?

Polly - if you are back today I hope you had a _wonderful_ holiday. Perhaps you have some news for us?!  

We've got someone coming to look round the house tomorrow, so I reckon I'll have tospend today cleaning and tidying. Dh makes such a mess when he is here at the weekends!

Bye for now,
Emma,xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I hope everyone is OK. I have to stop talking to myself..........

Emma, xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Afternnon all,

Sorry wasn't online yesterday I was ill, still wasn't feeling right this morning so took teh day off sick, which I am sure went down very well with new manager!

Af started Sunday morning, wasn't light wasn't heavy just kinda normal! I had headache saturday night so hadn't slept much then when I wike I had really bad stomache cramps, My auntie gave me a heat thing and I relaxed in bed reading papers and craps eased off. still felt a littel off clolur but put that down to not having much sleep. We then all ment down to my aunts and uncles friends for a bit, the men went out to deliver a sofa and was left with aunt and her friend. I had a cup of tea but started to feel sick, didn't think anything of it as I sometimes feel a bit queasy when AF starts, but this wasn't queasy this was sickness that came and went in waves getting worse each time, till eventually I as sick 
felt better after just felt really drianed. DH drove all the way home as I wasn't up to driving. when we got home I didn't feel sick but the thought of food mad me feel sick! DH wanted dinner so ordered chinese, I forced down some soup as I hadn't eaten anything or drunk much since saturday.
Feeking a bit woosy I went to bed at 7pm! thinking I was probably over tired and a goods nights sleep would help.
Woke up this morning and felt sick! it was coming and going in waves just like before so didn't want to risk going into work incase I was sick. went back to bed and had a good sleep and feel much better now just feel a little tired. Had 1 funny turn this morning tough I laying in bed with the fan on but woke up sweating, my pj's were soacked! as I said feeling better now so not sure what caused it all, I hate being ill.

went to the toilet when I got up and AF is no longer red its brown like I am finnishing?

Emma, how are you today any more m/s 4 times it must have been awfull  

Annie, are you ok hun we are here if you want to talk.

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - you poor thing! What you have sounds _horrible_. Are you sure af was actually af - could it be spotting?  
Take care, and don't rush back to work until you are fully recovered.

No more m/s for me.

Annie - are you OK?

Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I am not sure Emma, AF seemed to be normal but has stopped today meaning I have only been on for 24 hours??

There is brown discharge when I wipe, but nothing on towl inbetween so thinking it has finished which is strange.

I am not sure what to think now, had headache on and off to so probably a bug rather than m/s

Pleased you have had no more m/s  

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Everyone

Just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling a bit better. Still thinking over a few things, but starting to feel a bit more positive again. 

Donna - Please do a hpt. An AF that only lasted that long might not have been an AF at all and that might not be a bug you've got there.

Emma - Sorry if I've upset you by staying away. Please don't take it personally - I'm just having a tough time at the mo. I'd hate to offend you xxx  Any luck with the people who came to see the house?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you haven't offended me or upset me at all by staying away, and I haven't taken it personally at all.  I was just worried about you and wanting to help if I could. 
I also thought there was a fair chance that you actually were having a busy weekend and busy day at work so had better things to do than log on here.
I _was _ feeling a bit disappointed/angry on your behalf at the weekend because you seemed to be really looking forward to acupuncture after a c**ppy week and thinking that it would make you feel better and it seemed to make things worse.
Plus I thought you might feel bad about feeling down, and not wanting to seem negative, as though there was unwritten obligation to be happy all the time (there isn't). You kept apologising last week for being down, but there really was no need.
If there is anything you want to talk (is this talking?) and don't want the world to read over you can always send a PM. I quite understand if there are things you need to sort out in your own mind.

Donna - hope you feel a bit better soon. If af doesn't make any further appearance in the next couple of days I would test. If you do it now, and it is negative, you might not believe it, so wait a couple of days until the hcg levels would be higher. That's only my opinion though, and I don't want to raise your hopes unduly.

Don't know if people, liked the house yet.  I hope someone does soon.

I'm going to make some ratatouille now (my top culinary tip for the day is to make it ahead of when you want to eat it, let it cool and reheat it - the flavours are much enhanced).
Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxx
p.s. Polly - we need you back with all your wonderful words of wisdom!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

don'tknow what to do?

feeling rotten but it comes and goes, I would have thought if ti was a bug I would feel better? but on teh other hand m/s can't be like this don't think I would cope.

Felt better at lunch tiem and was all set to go back to work but not so sure now  problem is I don't get paid for being off and I've lost money already, so will probably have to grin and bare it. hopefulyl I will feel better in the morning. I no longer feel sick but cant face eating anything and the thought of it makes me feel physically sick can't find anything I want but know I should eat.

maybe you are right emma I should wait a couple of days AF is likely to start up again anyway.

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I don't want to get your hopes up at all, and we are all different, but the week when my af was overdue (2 weeks ago, but feels like a lifetime) I thought I had a weird bug thing - a mixture of a cold and food poisoning, but not really quite like either. It was Chinese food that made me feel sick too.

On the other hand - and I really hope it isn't the case - can having a bug delay or disrupt af? Dunno.

Why does nature have to be so complicated?!

Take care,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Right that's it. Am I so over the depressing stage. It's soooo boring!!!!

Emma - Thanks for your support over the last couple of days. Don't get me wrong accupuncture was fantastic as always. She just concentrates on the whole picture and we got chatting about alot of things that I haven't wanted to think about for a long time. It'll take me years to get my head around alot of it. I'm sure you felt the same way after some session with Dr Sex?

Thanks anyway Emma x

Donna - Thinking of you and sending lots of lucky positive vibes down the M4 to you!

Update: No letter again today. Can't decide wether to call them or not? No need to rush as such as still no af. Hmmm - not sure


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hi all,

Felt tough then felt better then felt rough again.

Dh is heating me up some soup and got me some luccozade so hopefully I will feel better. Chemist was closed so no HPT yet.

Its funyn you say that cause I have a very half hearted cough and though the prehaps I was getting a cold or flu or something.

Just hope I feel better by morning as off to work - have no choice and got 6 babies!  

Annie glad you are feeling better xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I think I'm going mad I just read my last post and I really don't remember typing "Thanks anyway Emma". I would never say anything like that. I've always hated that phrase. I know I wrote something else.

Looks like I'm finally cracking up. The fertility thing has actually driven me crazy. Clearly there's no hope for me!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

think it gets to us all in the end Annie  

Feel a litle better but don't want to get hopes up as will probabl;y be knocked for six in a min.

Last time I went to the loo I had nothing when I wiped or in the panty linner! I will see how I feel tommorrow and that happens AF wise then think about a HPT.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Posted before I had finished  

Night night everyone

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - hope you are feeling a bit better today (and haven't gone to work if you're not). It is outrageous that they don't pay you if you are off sick. Do they prefer you all to spread disease to all the children? Any more af?

Annie - how are you today? Don't worry about the phrase - I'm not going to read anything into it, and read your disclaimer first anyway! I think you should phone the hospital and hassle them for the letter because I reckon you'll feel much better when you have something concrete happening.
Yes, sessions with Dr Sex used to raise all sorts of surprising issues and knock me for six for a few days.

I've got a slightly nerve-wracking day today. One of my dogs is at the vets having his balls chopped off. He's had anaesthetic once before, and was fine, but it is still a bit of a worry. The other one is looking very sad and lonely. 
Looks like I won't be going too far in the near future. I have very little petrol in my car and all the petrol stations here have run out of fuel. In theory I think we have public transport round here (hourly bus, hourly train) but I'd rather stay at home!

Bye for now,
Emmaxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Emma - I hope your doggy does well at the vet today. I get in a right mess when I have to take my bunny rabbit in! I'm sure he'll be fine though.
DH is at home this morning and I have him on post watch. If the letter doesn't arrive this morning then I shall just give them a quick call. It'll put my mind at rest as I've started to think they might have changed their mind about letting me do IUI   I think you're right Emma and that I'll feel so much better once I'm doing something. Providing the tube test all goes well I could be up and running fairly quickly. You never know there might be a miracle BFP and I wouldn't be far behind you. That'd would be lovely obviously, but I'm too scared of dreaming it could actually happen  

Donna - I assume you've gone to work today and might be feeling a bit better. Emma & I are clearly going to have to wait til you get home tonight to update us!!!!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Wow! - I've just been reading back over the very first Vag posts. We have all come such a long way.

Emma - reading your first posts even having sex seemed so far away and now look where you are!

Donna - Same goes for you. 

It's made me have a bit of a weep as I've realised we've done so amazingly well. I know I've been moaning about far I have to go, but I've reliased today how far I've come already.

Wow! - we're all truly amazing!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you're right, we _are_ all amazing!!!!!!!!   

Sex seems to have petered out of late though - once on Saturday (the first time in ages) and none since. I think dh is worried about doing some damage, even though he says not and the GP said it was fine unless there was any bleeding. Perhaps I'll pounce on him tonight!

You've never mentioned a bunny before? Just the one? Male or female? Does it live inside your house?

My dog is fine. I have to go and collect him from the vets in a minute.

Do you mean that you could actually be pg now, when you talk about a miracle baby?

Donna - hope you are OK and work wasn't too awful today.

Polly - where are you? Perhaps you decided to stay in the Maldives (or was it Mauritius)?

Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Sorry Emma, I meant I might get a BFP on IUI and that would be a miracle!

I _cannot_ believe I have never mentioned my bunny before. Shame on me. She is my baby girl. She's 5 years old and was bought on Good Friday, so she was an Easter Bunny. She was so tiny when we got her, the smallest one at the shop. I called her Duchess (she's a dutch rabbit!). I house trained her so that when I get home she's allowed to wander round the house. She has a litter tray like cats use and she does all her bits in there. She's incredibly tame and jumps up on my lap for a cuddle and raises her nose for a kiss. Even my vet commented on how soft she is!!!

Spoke to the hospital and they said it might be another week or two before I get my letter. Seems they have got a bit of a queue after all. I was a bit disappointed at first, but as AF hasn't arrived yet it's not such a big deal. It might turn out then when the letter arrives the timing will be alright for me to go straight in and not have to wait another 50 odd days for the next AF!!! Maybe I should be grateful for small mercies We'll have to wait and see. I so desperately want to get started on it. Although I'm really scared it's not going to work


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - your bunny sounds _lovely_.  I don't think I've ever touched a real live bunny. I'd better not tell you what my dogs do with rabbits...........

My dog is home and looking very sorry for himself indeed. And he isn't alowed to go out for walks for 10 days. He will be loopy (and driving me loopy) before the week is out.

IUI might not work, but on the other hand it might. It sounds like the odds of it working are better for you than the odds of getting a bfp without any medical intervention, given that your cycle is all over the place. I don't know how you stay sane with that kind of stress.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hello all,

Went to work today although felt like crap this morning. Woke up an dfelt really sick like previous days and still no AF, as morning progressed felt a little better but couldn't face food at lunch time but forced down a bowl of soup as didn't want to flake out at work. Still no AF.
Mid afternoon AF appeard but very light and it is very unusual to stop for a day then come back on and be light. decided enough was enough and after not really thinking it was an option yesterday started thinking or should I say dreaming that maybe all teh signs were pointing to me being pregnant.

Got home and did a test and guess what, BIG FAT NEGATIVE as usuall   can't believe I actually thought it was possible.

Life is so cruel that it is playing around with my body, why does it have to do that  

So turns out I am just ill, cough is turning a bit chesty and have a sore throat so guess I have more to come.

Annie glad you phoned hospital   I need to know where you hiding those 10 children though  

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Right that is it. Someone is definitely messing with my messages. This is really starting to freak me out 
I *did not* say my rabbit is "a sex mad ball of fluff". I said she was a real "Easter Bunny". I was really starting to think it was me imagining it. I think it is happening when I post from work. Not doing that anymore. How bloody cruel.

Donna - I am so so sorry that it was a BFN. Our bodies can be incredibly cruel sometimes and it's so unfair. We're here for you hun xxx

Emma - I am not sane  - ever! I am a 1st class looney tune! Glad all went well with your doggy. Good luck keeping him happy over the next 10 days!!!


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

It's done it again!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - I am so, so sorry that it was a bfn.  Life is so unfair.

Annie - I am very confused by your posts? What has been changed?

Got to go - in the middle of cooking.

Bye, xxxxx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Good luck ladies


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

^spin

OMG!!!!!! EMMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!!!!!! This is SO good!!!

Just got back late last night. Had a  great hols, v weepy for a couple of days when AF arrived, but could do that anywhere. Had a lazy day today and back to work tomorrow and see what sort of mess they have made in our absence!!!

I've caught up with all the news girls, and I'll post more tomorrow (unless I have to stay late at work sorting everything out!).

EMMA!!!!! WOW!!!

Love 
Polly


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home this way peeps http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=36894.new#new

Great news Emma xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - It's changing some of the words/phrases I'm typing. Can you not see them your end?

Polly - WELCOME BACK!!!! Great to hear from you my lovely. You've very much been missed. Can you believe Emma's news!


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Annie - just to put you out of your misery the words that are changing are just a funny thing tony put on the site for amusement a while back to tease everyone - when you type 'e a s t e r  b u n n y' (without the gaps)  it always comes out as easter bunny in your post... there are some other rude words that have substitutes too to stop people using foul language on the site, sh*t being one of them - comes out as poop i believe....

so panic not, its nothing sinister 
kj x


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

oh Emma bless, just read Kims post so looked back to see what you wrote, I can fully undersatnd you being freaked, I didn't even know that Kim, thank you xx

oh ****


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

All is clear now! Annie, I thought that what you posted was slightly odd, but didn't think much of it. I did wonder how you'd know that a rabbit was sex mad if there was only the one of them.  

Polly - welcome back!   I missed you! I'm glad you had a lovely holiday. What a shame about af arriving in the middle. Are you back at the bms phase of the month yet?
I hope all is well at Polly Enterprises. Are DN and the lad still together?
Thank you for your kind wishes. i still don't really believe it myself and keep expecting something to go wrong. 

Donna - hope you're feeling a bit better today.

Have a lovely day people,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Lordie! - I am so embarassed now   Thanks Candy, thanks Kim. I seriously thought someone was messing with my messages!!!! I have an overactice imagination as you can see!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I am very restless today - I can't settle to anything. Don't know why.

Maybe it is the weather........


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

how about settling down and watching a nice movie. I often do that if I'm restless or I clean out my wardrobe!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Emma

I see you are still logged on. 

Nothing too bad has happened at work, only a major event we are planning has gone wrong, but I sort of thought it would, and had half convinced myself that we would have to postpone it anyway. The invitations were to go out two weeks ago, and they only went out yesterday. Unfortunately, they are awful, and if only they hadn't been determined to send them out before I got back, I could have rearranged and none would be the wiser. 

What fun about the mysterious changing words!! I too wondered how Annie would know that about her rabbit if there is only one, but knowing little about rabbits, I thought maybe there was something that everyone else knew about rabbits born at a certain time of year!! 

Haven't found out about DN and the Lad - I have made it a policy not to ask him, so I will phone my sis tonight and get the gossip! He looks happy enough, and has coped well with the increased workload while we were away, so that all seems good.

I am flagging this afternoon, must be some kind of jetlag, felt the same yesterday at the same time. Got to get on the blower now and see how the other branches are doing....

I'll check back if you are still feeling restless, you could pop up to Bedfordshire and do the mountain of ironing, if you are feeling bored!!

Or maybe you should just put your feet up!

Love
Polly


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Sorry i meant annie not emma xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No problem Candy - I know you meant me! No other nutters on FF!

Polly - I felt tired in the afternoons when we got back from the Maldives. Good excuse to out your feet up and have a power nap! How did you like the Maldives? What did you get up to?

Emma - Feeling any better? Did you find something to do?


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Polly - I cannot imagine ever being so bored that I would want to do ironing! Didn't you once say that your dh actually enjoys ironing?  
Hope you sort out your event problems soon. Is the situation salvageable?
You should try and take things easy for a day or too.

Annie - funny you should say that, my wardrobe is in a shocking state (I tend to throw things in and shut the door very quickly before it all falls out again) and full of things I'm never going to wear again. I'm having a fat/ugly/bad hair day today, but I'm going to have my hair cut tomorrow so hopefully I'll feel better then.

I am waiting for some work to arrive, and want to get on with that and with moving, and I'm just a bit fed up of waiting for things to happen. I wouldn't go so far as to say I have m/s, but I have a persistent queesy feeling today, which isn't helping.  I have started so many things today and then got bored and goven up half way through.
I think I'll go and lie down for a while and read a book or watch a film.  

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

There is nothing better than a haircut Emma. I'm having mine done on Tuesday and I am counting the minutes. I have got some serious root issues right now and they're driving me wild! I'm almost back to my natural hazelnut brown instead of hint of holiday/wannabe Marilyn blonde. Why not go the whole hog and get a manicure too! Live on the wild side while you still have a chance.

So with my bad hair and bloated gut I'm right there with you on the whole fat/ugly/bad hair day front. Please hurry up AF and return me to normal! - well just my usual mad self anyway


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I like it when my hair is done, but I hate actually having it done. I think it is almost as bad as going to the dentists. I normally have no problem making polite chit-chat with people, but I really struggle with hairdressers (sorry, 'stylists'). They usually give up trying after a while. I realised today that it has been ages since I had it cut. I've just been tying it back every day and forgetting about it.
Don't know about a manicure  . Mind you, I'm not doing much gardening at the moment so it wouldn't get wrecked in minutes. I've never actually had one.  

Ended up falling asleep this afternoon. 

Hope you are all OK. 
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly welcome back you have been missed, sorry about AF

Emma, lucky you having an afternoon nap, spoil yourself have a manicure you deserve it.

Annie, hope you are ok, don't hurry AF along to much as you want to have appointment first.

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oooh Emma - If I could come and pick you up and whisk you away for a day of pampering, I would. Every lady deserves nay, has a God given right to know what a manicure is and spend a day being exfoliated, buffed and shined to within an inch of perfection. We should arrange to all meet at a Spa for the day when we all get brave enough to do it!!!!

How can you compare going to a Salon with going to a Dentist. I run into Salon's with excitement. I can also talk to anyone for England!!!! I'm a bit luckier these days, I have a friend who is a "stylist" and I pop to her house of an evening so we can relax and chat at length without shouting over an army of hairdryers. Also having a friend do my hair has meant I've become a bit more experimental over the years. I've had some ideas that haven't panned out, but it was great fun trying.

Donna - How are you feeling matey? Has the cold/flu/bug gone altogether now? How are you feeling about AF?

Polly - Come and tell us all about your holiday!

Cia for now Bella's


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I am most intrigued by your experimental hair. What can it involve?!  I know we saw the picture of you in your schoolgirl outfit, but it was hard to get an idea of your hair from that. I don't think I've ever had experimental hair (apart from having it straightened a few years ago, which was fabulous). Mine is a curly mess with a life of its own.

Donna - are you feeling any better? How is work this week?

Polly - hope you are getting over the jetlag and managing to get Polly Enterprises back on track.

Got to dash,
Have a great day, and don't get too wet,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I wish I had a had the luxury of a chance to get wet today. I enter an airconditioned shoe box of an office every day that makes Outer Mongolia appear as bright and cheerful as California. I won't see daylight again now til around 5pm this evening, unless I escape to the golf club down the road or a pub for a spot of lunch with the girls! No luxury of a window anywhere near where I sit - that's for the VIP's!!!!

Maybe I exaggerated a bit with the experimental hair. I tend to mess around with colours more than styles. Remember when everyone was dyeing their hair dark shades? - I had a go at that one. I looked like something out of night of the living dead. I did that one around the time my Dad was nearing the end of his illness. I think that period sent friends and family into a panic as I looked a bit morbid. 

I then warmed up the dark and had a gorgeous chocolate brown with golden shades running through the top. That was a good one. Then I decided I wanted to lighten up and have been getting blonder ever since! Fancy trying red out this winter.

I've tried short, long, fringe, swooping over from the side, -all sorts . 

I live for the search of gorgeous hair and the perfrct style! During the week though I just put it back in a ponytail. I can't work with my hair in my face and I can never be bothered to make an effort in the mornings just to sit in a dark office all day. I'd rather have an extra half hour in bed!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - maybe one day you too will be a VIP with a window seat! Do you have one of those Dilbert-style cubicles? 
Actually, your hair does sound quite experimental, even if you don't have purple spikes or a shaved head, or any of the other things I was imagining. Red is a fabulous idea for autumn/winter. You can match the trees (even if you won't actually see them).

I now have much less hair and feel a hundred times better for it. I know it will look ropey as anything again tomorrow morning, but at least I can look fabulous for a day. I wasn't barve enough to have a manicure or facial, or anything, but I am going to pamper myself this afternoon, unless I fall asleep again.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

It's not quite a Dilbert cubicle Emma, but I'm in the darkest corner of an entire office. It's a sort of U shape or more square like a staple. If you can imagine that one side of the U has all the windows and I'm right around on the other side. I think we have a picture of our building on our website somewhere. I'll have a mooch and send it to you if I can. The building itself is rather nice. Like a giant greenhouse! 

Glad you had a good time at The Salon. Sleep if you need to. Do as your body says!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

It doesn't sound at all healthy to be deprived of windows. Do your eyes hurt when you emerge into daylight at the end of the day? Perhaps you don't even see daylight at all during winter..... 

Do you have competitive fruit eating and water drinking in your office? When I lived in Germany for a year (about 5 years ago) I worked in a huge open plan office, and the women got _so_ competitive about this kind of thing. As time went on they would bring in more and more fruit, of ever-wider varieties, and ever bigger water bottles, and arrange them ostentatiously on their desks. I shouldn't mock - I was just as bad as the rest of them.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - you have me sussed!   Yes I do squint some what when I leave work for the day and no, I don't see any daylight in winter!

Well, as for fruit and water it is somewhat true. All but 1 of the females has a 2 litre bottle on their desk every morning. I wouldn't say we're competitive. We're a fairly nice team and we all encourage each other. When I did that 90 day detox everyone was offering me recepie's and ideas and were really supportive.

For the record I brought in an apple and punnet of strawberries today (all organic)


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - strawberries (and raspberries) are supposed to be very good for ttc.

I've just eaten lots of plums.

Oh no, I'm resorting to competitive fruit eating again 

I'm intrigued by the lady who _doesn't_ have a water bottle. Is she the old had who gave you a hard time a while back?

Donna - how is your cold? Are you feeling any better


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Polly - hadn't forgotten you, but the phone rang. Hope all is well. Is the event back on track?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

No Emma, not the same lady but a bit of a hag all the same  

I am feeling proper rotten tonight. I am so sick of being bloated and suffering with trapped wind   For the first time in my life I genuinely mean it when I say come on AF. I know I'm not pg so I just want it to come and I can hopefully deflate. Don't mind the Pamela Andersons so much. It's nice for me to feel like I actually have breasts for a change. I don't even mind the fact they feel heavy - like cricket balls.

My skin feel like I've steamed it with chip fat, hair's greasy and feeling pretty yuk!

Anyhoo - off for a proper bath with lots of bubbles, candles and music

G,night!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - you paint a beautiful picture of yourself! I'm sure you don't look that bad, even if you feel it!

I'm off to the vets now for a check-up (for the dog, not me). I hope he gets the all clear for walks because he is going crazy. I came downstairs this morning to find things (shoes, cushions, books etc )scattered everywhere. 

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma,xxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Just read my post Emma - I do sound gorgeous don't I   Feeling a smidge bit nicer today, but still no AF   
Can I ask us all to do a AF dance this weekend to help bring it on!!!!

Best of luck at the vets today (the dog, not you!)

Donna - Is everything alright hun? 

Polly - I guess you're a bit snowed under catching up with work at the mo.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - don't you want af to hold off until you get the letter? What day are you on now - 50-something?!

Dog is healing well but isn't allowed walks for another week. Arrrrrrrrrgh! He is full of beans and will have destroyed my house by then.

I have to go and clean things now. Soooooo dull.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

To be honest Emma I feel so rotten I don't care about the timing for the test so much! If 50 days + is going to be the norm for me then mid cycle won't be for another 3/4 weeks. By which time I should have had my letter and they might have been able to get me in straight away?

So get your dancing shoes on girl and start chanting - "Come on Annie's AF"

Glad your doggy is recovering well. Fingers crossed he doesn't trash your house!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Will that do?

I know I say this every month, but isn't there just a small chance that you could be pg? Was there lots of bms on your holiday?!

Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hello,

sorry haven't felt very chatty and ahven't wanted post feel really down.

really thought I was pregnant and I really dont feel I can keep going through this I line myself up month after month for a kick in the teeth.
Still not feeling well, have chesty cough and sore throat, hardly any voice.
Work is getting me down was in tears at work this morning and I don't even know why. New manager is ok just lots of little things all mounting up at work and I hate the place. I also think I am finding ti harder than I thought to work in the baby room day after day but can't do anything about that.

Basically all of the above I can not change and that is the depressing thing I am stuck feel rubbish ttc with a crap job!

Sorry I am not much company at the moment but wanted you to know I was alive.

I have my first day at college tommorro which I guess i am kinda looking forward to.

I will do an AF dance for you Annie

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi everybody

Sorry I've been quiet, I've just got really sleepy in the afternoons and evenings this week, and I don't think I would have made any sense if I had posted.

I got home from work at 4 (So much for I don't work Fridays!!) and had a nap til 6, so feel a bit more human!  

We had a great hols, the weather wasn't quite what we expected, quite stormy and overcast most of the time, with a lot of sudden downpours  . It meant that I didn't dive - I went out on a dive boat once, but was so seasick by the time we got to the site that I didn't want to, and just spent the next hour on the boat throwing up. I would have gone again if I had been sure that it was calmer, but I had no reason to think so! But we did do lots of snorkelling and that was great.

We had a lovely bungalow with a deck and steps into the sea, an upgrade from what we had booked, so we were happy about that. And so we just slobbed about, reading, snorkelling and eating - and sunbathing and dashing in from the showers! The thing that I loved the most was the peace and quiet, the space (we were very us-ish, and didn't bother with other people very much) and all the different kinds of flora, fauna and fish.

The food was great, and most days I could find something to eat on my restricted diet, but missed not indulging in the many and scrummy looking puds. That was SO hard! DH indulged like a man who had never seen a pud before in his life, and I could see his waistline expanding before my eyes! I did get my reward when I got home and had put no weight on!!  (almost 4 kilos lost since stopping eating "allergic" things)

There was a great spa and I used the excuse of rain to have lots of treatments, and was very self-indulgent. All female staff, Annie!!! It was really was a holiday of a lifetime, and I doubt that we will ever be able to go back, but we feel thoroughly spoilt for other holidays now!

I did have a few really weepy days when I realised that af was on way, but when I finally let go and had a good bawl, I felt better. Poor old DH found it a bit strange wandering round Paradise with someone on the verge of tears for four days, but hey, can't be helped sometimes.

I think I had really pinned my hopes on this cycle - recovered from surgery, brilliant bms frequency and timing, so it hit me hard, especially with having turned 44 just before going away. That tipping over from early 40s to mid 40s seems really bad news.  

So we are into another cycle now, and planning to go back to the clinic at some point this cycle to talk about our options. I am not sure about it, as I am not that sure that they have a positive attitude to my age, but that might have been more a puzzlement about how to deal with the septum issue. So we will see what they say. 

Donna - how are you and work and everything - you've been as quiet as me this week! Hope you are OK. Even if you are not, we want to hear from you!

Annie - how do you KNOW that you are not pg? 

Emma - hope you are taking it easy - any house viewers recently?

Love 

Polly
xxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, sorry to hear that you are still so down. Have you been back to the docs with that cold/cough? That can't be helping anything. Maybe you should have a week off sick now that DH is back at work? Would that help? I know you have just had a week's hols.

I wish I could cheer you up, if I could think of a way, I would. Would a   help? Does DH know that you are feeling so down? 

I don't know what to suggest, except I really hope that your BFP isn't too far away now.

Take care

Polly
xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning, 

Donna - sorry you are feeling so low. I wish I could say something that would make everything better, but I know nothing will.  
I hope college goes well.

Polly - your holiday sounds wonderful (apart from weather and af).

Annie - has af arrived? Why not go out wearing tight white jeans - that might bring it on.

Got to dash,  have a lovely saturday,
Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - where are you getting those new smilies from?

Donna - any better today? It's rotten the way life plays tricks on us. You have come so far and done so well these last months, just this last thing would put the icing on the cake.

Annie - tight white jeans must be the answer!

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Tight white jeans!!!! Have you all lost leave of your senses   I'll excuse you Emma, pregnacy brain must have kicked in   I'm sorry but not even me feeling like poop would cause me to create a fashion hell no!!! How about I go out for the day without tampax - that often does it for me. Stranded miles away from a shop and no hope of getting to one any time in the near future. I've been caught out so many times  

Polly - I knew you'd have a fabulous time and I'm so pleased for you that you did. After all the surgery and recovery you went through, you thoroughly deserved it. So sorry that AF arrived while you were away    On the slightly positive side of it, at least you were in Paradise, miles away from nosey office people to have a good old cry and a decent cuddle from DH. Don't worry about what the clinic will say to you. They have to treat everyone fairly and with respect. Remember the 60 year old lady in the press last year that had IVF?  Bet they told her she had bob hope of getting pregnant. If she can prove them wrong, you definitely can. Let your age simply be a number - not a restriction. 

Emma - Thanks for the AF dance. I think you have some pretty good moves there lady. AF pains have started and the mucky stuff looks like it's trying hard to come through. Keep it up my lovely - without doing any damage to baby "Annie-Polly Donna" obviously   Are we nearly at 12 weeks yet? 
P.S - where are you getting these fabulous smilies from?

Donna -   I felt the exact same way last week, you know I did. You will get through this dark moment. Come on lovely, don't worry about what might have been last cycle  - start looking at what might this time! You can do this. It might take a bit longer but it will be so worth it when it does. It will happen for you.


Well ladies if my excructiating abdominal pains are anything to go by, this could be it. We could be about to start the IUI journey. By the way - I'm taking you all with me for the ride. Hold on to your pants it could get hairy


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Sorry to be so brief earlier; dh was agitating for me to hurry up so we could go out and buy fruit at the market. As usual he got a bit carried away and bought 3 times his own body weight in fruit. Just what am I supposed to do with 13 bananas? ^bananabash^

Annie - I didn't really think that you would own a pair of tight white jeans (although you probably have the legs for it), and I certainly don't. I did have a pair in the early 90s but I'm not sure they did me any favours. I'm showing my age now, but back in the early/mid 80s I remember having those really skintight jeans that were near impossible to get on or off.
Nowhere near 12 weeks yet - only 6.5. I've been very queasy for the last couple of days though. 

Polly - I hope that your clinic will be sympathetic to your age. If not, change clinics. At least one of the benefits of being near London is that there should be more options open to you. You definately want a clinic that is on your side. Fabulous news about the weight loss - 4 kilos is a lot.  
Have a good old rest this weekend.

Donna - do things feel any better today? Has af finished now? Such a b****r that you feel rotten and have work stress to deal with as well as ttc. You really deserve a change of luck soon.  

No more viewings recently. It is all getting a bit worrying. I'm going to end up a single mother at this rate. We've thought about renting this place out, but I think the property market will only get worse in the next few months and the rental value wouldn't come close to paying the mortgage. 

Glad you like the new smilies - special secret smilies for special people! A while back when FF was appealing for donations for a new server I gave some money and that is how I became a charter member; the new smilies are for charter members.

I love this one most of all 

Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Still feeling pants, Annie I know you are right and I should look forward to what next cycle might bring but it feels like month after month AF arrives but you brush yourself down and carry on hoping that next cycle is the one only to have to pick yourself up again and try again in next cycle and so on and so on.
Wish more people knew at work all teh talk at the moment is babies, when am I having I one as I am so good with the babies, so and so is having one, think I may try bla bla bla cant handly it all I want to do is slap everyone and get them to shut up, I am feeling like during the next baby conversation I might actually explode!
I only had 1 day of AF this month but have been and still am spotting since monday on and off so have no idea where I am cycle wise anyway.

It is our 2nd anniversary tommorrow   so that will be nice (not that I am in the loved up mood but I will try) DH is cooking me a meal but I don't know what.
A few years ago he cooked me a meal which consisted Octopus! don't think he'll be doing that again though.

College was good course is going to be very hard and intense and keep me very busy, not sure I need teh extra pressure at the moment but I am signed up now, maybe it will act as a distraction or tip me over teh edge we will see.
One thing I did realise while at college today is my nursery is the most badly run unproffessional place ever and I am leaving! I am now seeking employment so I can tell them where they can stick it.
The is a job on the paper for a creche co-ordinator but the pay is over double what I am on now (not that I am on loads now probably get more in tesco!) so not hopefully that I will get it but think I'll apply anyway.
There is also a deputy job in a small nursery not far from me, as it is a small nursery be ideal for a first time deputy so I'll ring them on monday.

Polly good to have you back, sorry about AF and Emma is right it hospital aren't sympathetic to your needs then find 1 who is after all you are paying.

Annie, as AF arrived can I stop dancing nieboughs are wondering what I am up to  I hope you hear from hospital soon.

Emma, hope you are feeling ok and m/s isn't getting you down. Could you maybe rent you house on a short term basis while you are looking for a buyer?

Seems like chesty cough thing I had before is back! which is strange as I only had antibiotics a few weeks ago.
not feeling sick anymore but still having headaches, well not exactly headaches. I have a pain in the top of my head sometimes feels like a knife beign stuck in my head.

oh and still arguing with insurance company about DH's acciednt I though it would all be straight forward and over by now, how wrong I was.

Hope you are all having a nice weekend

Donna xx

p.s isn't it really cold all of a sudden think I need to buy a new coat....... now wheres that catalogue


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna

I know this might make it all worse for you, but if af was only 1 day, have you tested? I'm still not convinced that Emma wasn't pg last month with her funny af... 

It sounds as though you have at least come to some decisions about work, and I really think you should go for those jobs - interview experience is always good, and you are so dedicated and determined, you will stand out a mile anyway!

Take care

polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

AF hasn't started after all. Looks like I got a bit hopeful after 1 cramp! I have got Mount Etna on my chin though!!! - that's always a good sign aswell as wanting to jump DH! How cruel is the female body - just as you start to feel a bit amorous - AF arrives  

Emma - Without sounding a bit mean I'm pleased to hear you're a bit queasy! Reassuring to hear that everything is going perfectly normal for you so far hun xxx

Polly - Have you managed to catch up on some sleep?

Donna - Feeling any better today? I'm with Polly - how about testing again? It might have been a bit early last week.
I definitley think you should pursue those job adverts. They both sound ideal for you. A change to a happier more professional environment might make life so much easier for you.
We're still having problems with our insurance company too. They paid out of the cash when that idiot drove into the side of DH, but held back our excess. When  I called to chase it they said the other driver is disputing that it was his fault. I was livid. Still all going through and it could still take months and we could end up im court arguing it over - happy days!

Well DH is home today. He's popped off to Sainsbury's to do the shopping and I was meant to be cleaning!!!! Best get to it quick smart. We're then off to the Out Laws for lunch and my Mother is joining us all (great!) Then I'm hoping DH is going to take me shopping. God knows what I wore last winter cause when I looked for something to wear yesterday I couldn't see anything suitable. Plus we have our annual trip to CenterParcs in a few weeks time - I need something nice and warm to wear down there

Ciao for now all. Have a pleasant Sunday xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Donna  - I'm so pleased that your college course went well. It will be no bad thing for you to have a distraction, of sorts, from ttc. It must be so hard being surrounded by babies and small children all day long. Your plans to leave your current job sound good. Other places should snap you up if they've got any sense!
Have you ever thought of telling your colleagues that you are ttc or that talk of babies is getting to you?

I cannot imagine what your dh can cook that will top octopus!   I watched a programme on TV this week where a man visited Japan and ate live octopus and other strange items. 

It would be great if we could rent a house, but it isn't really feasible. For one thing it is near impossible to find somewhere to rent that allows dogs (especially my dogs ), and it will be too expensive. Dh will rent a small flat (studio/1 bed) in central Manchester and come home each weekend (hopefully). Its not ideal, but we just have to make the best of it. This time last year he was living in Paris and only able to come home alternate weekends, so I shouldn't complain. I can always drive up and see him mid-week if need be.

Polly - are you feeling more like 'you' yet? I hope you're taking things easy.

Annie - has af arrived properly yet? 

I'm going to pack away all my summer clothes today and dig out the winter ones. It is soooooooo cold! I can't believe it - I saw Christmas cards on sale yesterday! 

Have a lovely day people!
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hi all,

Annie I know what you mean I had nothing to wear today ended up wearing an old track suit, felt really sexy....not!

DH cooked a lovely chicken dish in oyster sauce and yes oyster sauce does work   

Polly, I tested on tuesday last week and it was negative, have thought about testing again but have no real signs of pregnancy apart from strange lack of AF but thats probably down to stress.

Emma, how about renting out your current house so you could move with DH into your new house? could rent it out till you find a buyer?

Still feeling down although a bit better today did take me 2 hours to get out of bed though just didn't want to face the world this morning.

My friend who is 36wks pregnant it having major probs with her husband, although I don't really need her probs at the moment thats the person I am I'll always drop things for her even if thats not recipricated.
Nade me realise that things I am going through my not be that bad, atleast I haev a DH that loves me very much. Even though she is pregnant she can't say the same! so guess there's not much to be jealous of is there.

Take care

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - is that one of your cats in the avatar picture? How is the kitten getting on? I'm glad you enjoyed the oyster sauce!  
Its not really financially feasible to rent our house out. We looked into it this week. The rental market round here is so weak. We'd be able to get about £650/month if we rented out, and our mortgage is over £1100/month, plus the mortgage on the new place will be much more again. We definately don't want to be getting into bridging loans. I don't think the property market is likely to pick up in the near future. A year from now we'd probably find it even harder to sell. It is so frustrating because the place is in beautiful condition, great kitchen and bathroom, with neutral decor and 'period features', but the buyers just don't seem to be out there. I'm sure it will happen, just as we are at desperation point.
I feel so sorry for your friend. Just what she doesn't need at 36 weeks.

Annie - I hope you got lots of lovely new clothes. What will a stylish Annie-about-town be wearing this season?
I cleared out my wardrobe today and dug out winter clothes and found I too have nothing to wear. Last winter I lived in my wonderful Starsky & Hutch cardigan, and I don't seem to own anything else. In the newspaper today it was reported that this is going to be one of the coldest, snowiest winters for many a year! 

Polly - hope you have had a lovely relaxing weekend. When does the bms start again!? have you reached any decisions about clinics yet?

I'm off to the GPs for a checkup tomorrow. I have to take a urine sample, and I'm so worried that she'll say it was all a mistake and there's nothing in there.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Uugh - can't believe it's Monday again. Boy do I need a year on mat leave! Still no AF, although yesterday DH & I   and I bled a little bit afterwards. I thought at the time it must have been AF coming but once again there's been nothing since. Maybe we just got a bit carried away? I've never had that happen to me before   I am on day 50 today! Looking back over previous cycles I've had 46 days, 37, 60 so it could be anytime now - who knows!?!?! I'm tempted to open a book on this one. Any guesses?

Lunch at the Outlaws was rather nice. Had a little bit of wine at lunch and ended up back in bed when we got home. Woke up 2 hours later not knowing who I was or where I was   As a result I couldn't then sleep last night and I feel like a bag of poop this morning - and looking it with Mount Etna and friends.

We did manage a small amount of shopping. DH did well and came home with a bag of goodies. I cam back with 1 pair of jeans that I wasn't overly keen on. I'll try again on a day when I haven't had a few glasses of wine!

Emma - Have fun at the Doc's this morning. I am quite sure that you have not imagined your BFP

Donna - Must give oyster sauce a go myself!!!!

Polly - hope you had a good weekend


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - glad you had a nice weekend. Are you feeling a bit more human now? Any more bleeding? Do you have any pain 'down there'? I can't begin to guess what that is all about.
Is there a prize for guessing how long this cycle will be?! 

Donna - hope you're feeling a bit better today. Have you taken things any further with the job applications?

Polly - hello! Hope all is well with you and at Polly Enterprises.

I went to see the GP this morning. She didn't want my urine sample (and I'd spent all night fretting that she'd test it and say I wasn't pg after all  ). I asked her about the aches and pains. She poked me a bit and said it was probably a bowel thing/constipation and wasn't an eptopic, and I should eat more fruit and veg. I already have 5 portions a day, but I guess I'll have to eat even more. I have to take a calcium supplement too because I don't drink milk. And that was that. Not worth worrying about at all, although I'm really none the wiser as to whether everything is OK. I might have a scan done at a private clinic soon just for peace of mind.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I feel like I need putting down today. I must be coming down with something. I feel so incredibly tired and generally run down. It is a real effort to stay awake at my desk today. I'm trying to find little jobs to do that don't require much effort - oh and I took my phone off the hook!

No bleeding, to report no pain, no nothing. Please just put me out of my misery  

I shall have to think of a nice prize for the winner.... mmm got my thinking cap on.

If you do go for an early scan, you will have to post a copy of it to us. I can't wait to see Baby Daffodil.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I know what you'll say, but I am going to ask anyway, isn't it just possible that you are pg? Why not do a test? Even if you're not, doing the test is bound to make af arrive and put you out of your misery?      

Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

You make a valid point Emma and I was actually considering doing a test at the weekend. I'll leave it just 1 more day as I think there is some mucky coloured stuff that I often get in the beginning. If nothing shows by end of tomorrow I will go and buy a test - promise x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

OMG - I didn't expect that reply! I am going to be soooooooo nervous now! I'm keeping everything crossed for you, and won't do any more bringing-on-af dancing.


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Sorry Annie, but now you have decided to test, you can't go through tomorrow without testing - you know it doesn't work like that. You'll spend all tomorrow thinking about it. Better to get a test on the way home tonight and do it in the morning. 

You know it makes sense! 

Love
Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

ooops. Being bossy again! Sorry!

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

OMG!!

I've been so bossy you've all run off to another group and left me alone. SORRY!!!!

Polly (very sorry and lonely  )


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hi all,

Annie, I am with Polly you shoudl test in the morning it is probably to late for you to get a test now. I'll have everything crossed for you  

Emma, glad everything went well with GP, and I second you posting a piccy of scan picture.

Polly, when will treatment get underway?

Phoned about deputy job but it had already gone, I will apply online for the other one, to tired tonight though really need sleep feel like poo.

DH and I have decided to take a month off ttc, Think I will go out with the girls on sat and drink far to much!
Last month hit me really bad and I don't think I am over it yet so makes sense to take a step back for a month, I am sure there will still be bms around ' the time' but we are not focussing on it so much.
we'll see if we stick to that though when I am ovulating.

love to all

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna - dunno where the others went. I expect they exhaust themselves posting all day long!  

Good for you about making the decision to take a month off - at least it is something that you can be in control of, and I think you might need that as much as anything at the moment. It might be difficult to really kick back and take it easy, but do it as much as you can. The night out with the girls sounds good. 

I'm off on my travels again on Wednesday, DH and I have a business meeting in Italy til Friday. For some reason we are not coming back til Sunday, so we will have to amuse ourselves somehow on Saturday. We might hire a car and drive up into the Alps.

I must try and remember to make an appointment at the clinic for when we get back and see what happens next. I feel a bit more "to the point" about it all, and will ask them point blank if they would rather I went somewhere else for treatment - put them on the spot!

Anyway, must go and drag DH off for an "early night". Got funny temperatures this month, I think because I brought a bit of an ear infection back from holiday with me, so I daresay my chart will say no ovulation this month. But what does it know....

Take care 

(I wonder if Annie will test...)

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Annie - any news? Have you tested? The suspense is killing me!       

Polly - I am so jealous of you going to Italy. I love Italy - especially the food! Ooops - sorry if that is tactless. I guess you're off pasta and cheese with your allergies? Mind you, there are plenty of other delights to be had. Whereabouts are you going?
Hope you got your early night!

Donna - sorry you missed out on one job. At least there is still another one to apply for.  It is a good idea to let your hair down and try not to think about ttc for a month or two. I bet you'll still know when it is ovulation time though! Don't worry too much about having a few drinks. The month I got my bfp was the one where I started drinking again. I'm not advocating binge-drinking, obviously, but the odd glass or two now and again isn't going to matter.

I've just worked out how to listen to the radio on my PC so I'm bopping away as I type!    

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Sorry, sorry, sorry I didn't come online last night. I felt a bit sick so cuddled on the sofa with my blanket and watched Finding Neverland - lovely film by the way.

Definitely thought AF was going to come this morning. Had lower back pain all last night.Even had a few twinges this morning. There is some mucky coloured something there so it might get going by lunch time? Don't get your hopes up guys. I really don't think a natural pg is the way it's going to happen for me. It's not unusual for my cycles to be so long and slow in getting going. I stayed home from work today. I thought that either way the last place I'd want to be is in the office. I'd rather be at home if I have raging period pain and at home if I have to do that thing I swore I'd never do again unless I had good reason to - test!

Bonus is there's a Robbie Williams day on VH1 - re living my youth as we speak. Aaah, to think that back then having a baby ws the last thing I wanted. How times change 

I'll keep you all posted today xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - what must you be going through! Are you dashing to the bathroom every few minutes to check for any sign (or not) of af?
A natural pg _could _ happen for you, although it must be near impossible for you to guess when you might ovulate. But if you happened to have S on or around the day you happened to ovulate it is perfectly possible.

Hope you're enjoying quality time with Robbie.

I'll be back,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - hope you're OK.

Off for a snooze now. Back later.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Annie, how are you any news? did you have a relaxing day off?

Polly its great news you have a plan re clinics could have littel polly's running round by summer then.

Emma, how are you? hows dog can he go out yet?

Feel like I am on a tight rope waiting to fall off at the moment. Tried talking to a few people at work about ttc but they were all like 'it will happen when the time is right' ' when you least expect it' bla bla bla how and get this ' do you know when the best time to conceive is?' er yeah inside out and back to front!
Cant do this at the moment, can't bothered at work and people are beggining to notice that I can't be bothered. Think me and the manager will come to blows by firday she is so demanding and really winding me up!
Just want to sit on an island soemwhere by myself!
I sometimes think I wish I had never met DH and wanted children then I would be carefree and not goin through this now, I am 23 and should be doing what other 23 yesr olds do whatever that is! I know I am not making much sense but I want it all to stop.
Nobody understands, I have my brother all excited waving baby bits under ym nose every 5 mins, my closest friends is about to give birth - and I've taken time off work to help her when new born arrives, why oh why didn't I be selfish for once and say NO!

I am so mirarable at work and really don't want to go in but cant afford to go sick even though I am sick and can't seem to shake off this cough!

Sorry to drag down the mood and come on hear and be all me me me! maybe I should leave for a while

Sorry again take care

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Donna, your poor thing.   Don't even think of keeping your head down. It is far better to come on here and let it all out than to bottle it up. We may not be able to help, but we'll certainly try. 

I kind of know what you mean about wanting to be carefree and being a 'normal' (whatever that is) 23 year old. I went through something like that - although it was more to do with career disillusionment than ttc  - a few years ago (I guess I was 27/28 years old, but then I'm always late doing everything  ). I went through a huge emotional crisis and wondered if I hadn't met dh at the age of 21 and settled down would it all have been different. I then did all the stuff 'normal' people do in their teens - going out every night, drinking too much, smoking (only for 1 week), etc - and really neglecting dh's needs/wishes. It was a horrible time, and didn't make me happy, but I had to go through it to realise for sure just how much I actually loved my normal calm boring life and just how much I loved dh etc. Sorry, not trying to be all me, me, me, but I do empathise. 

You and dh have been through so much stress this year, and not just with ttc. It is no wonder you feel like this. I wish I could say something helpful, but I'm probably making it ten times worse. I know this sounds like a platitude, but you are such a strong, fiesty, determined person that you will get through this somehow.

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning.

Annie - are you OK? Any news? Still feeling ropey? I wonder if you are at work today.....

Polly - have a _wonderful _ time in Italy. Can you fit me in your suitcase?

Donna - how are you feeling today?

Until later,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Well... I'm sorry - I just can't do it. I cannot take a test. I'm too scared and I guess I feel a bit silly. I swore I'd never take one again because it's always a negative and then I feel a complete plonker for even believing it could have been a BFP. No AF yey but I just know it will come.

Off work again today. Felt a bit queezy last night, as I went to my friends to get my hair done!!! She cooked me a lovely dinner, but as I was putting the food in my mouth I thought I was going to be sick. Felt a bit ick again this morning. I think I might have caught what Donna had last week. 

I'm actually a bit bored today!!!! When I'm at work I dream of being at home and once I'm here I get bored.

Oh Emma - I'm watching The Jeremy Kyle Show for the first time today - IT'S GREAT!!! Jerry Springer has returned!!! Do you ever watch snippets of it. I may have to stay home more often to watch it and laugh my butt off!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - I quite understand. You test as and when you feel ready. I bet you'll get to a point in the next few days where you just can't stand the uncertainty any longer and test. I know it was easier in my case because I had a fair idea that af was long overdue. i don't know how you cope with such irregular cycles. Does dh know that you are so overdue and are considering testing? It is not silly to be scared at all. When I have done them I have been petrified and unable to stop shaking.

Sorry to hear you are still feeling sick. Yes, you could have caught something, but it might well be m/s. I really hope so!

Is your hair looking fabulous again? 

I have never heard of the Jeremy Kyle show, I'm afraid. Is it American? I don't watch much daytime TV - honestly - apart from Neighbours . I just can't break that habit. I always walk the dogs after it finishes and the tragic thing is that they recognise the theme tune and jump up and start wagging when they hear it!

I am so tired today. I couldn't sleep last night for worrying about moving (or not). Like that is going to help.

Take care,
Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi everyone,

Feel rubbish today so off work not that I can afford it but couldn't face going in.
Started looking at new jobs but can't seem to face apllying for them either, stupid I know but can't seem to face anything. Was up all night coughing so had no sleep and throat is really sore just couldn't face work or even getting out og bed.

Annie, you are not silly at all for not wanting to test, I felt/feel so stupid for testing last week and actually believing that it could be positive. As Emma said there may come a time when you want to put an end to wondering so will test but if you don't then thats fine to.
You may have caught my bug, but it could be m/s. You do have the signs but then we all know that haiving the signs doesn't always mean a BFP. I really hope for you it is m/s and I guess time will tell.
How are you feeling otherwise.

Polly, have a fantastic time in Italy, you are such a jet setter.

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna - sorry you are still feeling so yucky. You sound in a bad way. Have you been to the doctors? Could it be a recurrence of the thing you had a while back?
You've done the right thing taking the day off.

If you still have a few days left before the deadline to apply for the new jobs I'd leave it until you feel a bit better. You want to give it your best shot.

Have you been watching daytime TV? 

Annie - I stumbled across the Jeremy Kyle show today, but only saw about 2 minutes of it. I'm not sure it is for me. Are these people for real?! 
Are you feeling any better and/or less bored?

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Emma,

I haven't been to the doctors as not sure what they can do, I seem to be ill all the time at the moment which is probably because I am stressed and run down.
Having day off today will make it harder to go in tommorrow I am sure.

The chesty cough is the same as what I had about a month ago so thinking it is the same thing. I had antibiotics last time but as its come back they obviously didn't work so I'll stick with over teh counter stuff for now.
Feel generally yuk, feel very stuffy today and sneezing alot so assume I have a cold/flu thing.

Watched a little tv didn't get up till 12 and I am still wondering why I bothered?

How are you doing? try not to worry yourself about moving, easier said than doen though I am sure.

Annie how are you?

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

I'm so clever! I am wirelessly connected to my laptop in the hotel lobby!!

Gotta run back to the meeting, but just wanted to send hugs to Donna, i wrote you a long post last night, just before I went to bed, but my battery cut me out just before posting, which always makes me lose the connection, so I lost it. But I was thinking of you. 
Take care

Love 
Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I can't sleep, yet again. I've had a cup of tea, done the sudoku in yesterday's paper, now what?

Polly - you are clever! Hope you are having a successful trip.

Donna - I wonder if you'll go into work today. I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Annie - you are very quiet lately (obviously you are quiet at the moment because it is the middle of the night). I hope you are OK. 

No great significance in the glowing, just passing the time.

Back tomorrow at a more civilised time. 
Emma, xxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Morning again everyone

I'm doing it again (being wireless) I am wireless at home, but I've never connected to anyone else's network before. Much more exciting than the meetings I am supposed to be in. Had to sneak out to sort out a problem back at base, which involved connecting remotely back to the server. I knew that it was possible, and that other people did it, but I've never done it (a bit like getting pg!!)

Anyway, I took a leaf out of your book Emma, and had  a glass of wine last night. First one for 1.5 years! Then went back to hotel and did bms. Maybe it will work. (Probably not  )

Take care all.

Love 

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Polly,

I wish I had just a fraction of your computer skills.

I really hope the wine-induced bms does work.    
You'll have to follow the example of Posh Spice( Brooklyn) and name Polly junior 'Turin', 'Milan,' 'Rome', or wherever it is you are! There aren't enough Bolognas around to my mind.........
You could be in Florence. That's actually quite a nice name, although perhaps not for a boy.

Hope your meetings are going well, and you have more time for bms and sightseeing too.

Annie, Donna - hope you are both OK.

I started reading War and Peace yesterday. I carried it with me to Australia, and countless times to and from Germany, several years back, and never read a page. I read about 10 pages (out of 1315) last night then fell asleep. I have to finish it though to prove something to dh who is convinced I'll never read it. I've read too much trash lately so it is about time I used my brain.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx 
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All 

Apologies for the quietness, was just trying to get back to the road of recovery - and failed! Was feeling a bit better yesterday so told a friend to come over with her little one. Had a queezy moment at breakfast but not all bad. Decided I was doing alright so went out with them all afternoon. By 3pm I was feeling so so tired and sick again. Have no idea how but I managed to stay awake til the evening and keep a promise to go to the cinema and watch Pride & Prejudice. I would have cancelled but friend & I don't get much chance to do things without her little ones. Sure I've told you about her before - hubbie died suddenly 2 years ago at 36. I spend a heck of a lot of time with them all. My extended family! 

Anyhoo wanted putting down last night. Collapsed into bed at 11pm and slept til 9.30 this morning. Still don't feel full of the joys of spring. Scaring myself now that I might have something really nasty  

Still no proper AF. Spotted a bit yeserday and then nothing again. I'm really sure I had a period like this before ,some time ago. I spotted on and off for a week and then off it went into full flow. No wonder I feel so darn rough!

Emma - That show is not my cup of tea either, it just amused me for a few minutes. Please stop worrying about the move. It will happen. You need to keep your strength up until it does! I cannot believe you are reading War & Peace - ugh! I bought a Phillip Pullman book the other day and I'm finding it so dull. Really dissapointed after reading fab reviews.

Polly - Check you out!!!! Wireless connection - I've only seen that type of expertise in Mission Impossible films and John Grisham books! Hope you're having a fabulous time in Italy. Make sure you have some time to enjoy the shopping out there.

Donna - I wish there was something I could say to turn things around for you. I hate hearing you sound so down about everything. I've been there before and I bet you feel like you'll never be happy again - but you will. You have to want to pull yourself out of this depression. You're making positive steps by looking into changing your job. If this is what you really want  - go out there and get it! Start doing more of the things that make you happy aswell. Go out with your friends, spend time with your family and DH. What made you happy before TTC came along? Having a baby cannot complete you or make everything go away. You have to be happy before baby Taylor comes along. 
You know that we are all here to help you get back to happy bubbly Donna and I for one can't wait to see you like that again.

Here - I'll start you off with a joke. Tell me if it put even a small smile on your face O.K?

O.K - Q. How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

How rude, I hadn't finished!

A. - Phone them up and tell them you can't come!!!!!!    

How did I do? Scale of 1-10?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

hey, you made me laugh right out in the meeting! (so boring!)

i love SOME of PP's books, which one are you reading?

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I laughed!    

Annie - I don't know what to think. If it weren't for the spotting I'd say you sounded very pg. Are you going to assume you're not and see if something emerges in 7/8 months time? Do you think you'll be tempted to test if there isn't any more spotting?
I hope you feel better soon, whatever it is.

How was P&P? I can't decide whether to go or not. I loved the original TV version (especially Colin Firth, of course) that I can only imagine it would disappoint.

I tried reading Northern Lights, but didn't get on with it. I have a real mental problem with books that are set in other worlds and/or where the characters have funny names. Stupid, I know. Give me Jane Austen any day. I don't know why I'm going to read War and Peace either, except to prove a point. I read - and loved - Anna Karenin years ago, and since then have talked about reading W&P. It has been sitting on my bookcase taunting me for far too long now. I have read (and enjoyed) umpteen trashy novels lately, including all those Shopaholic ones (fab!), but I can feel my brain dribbling out of my ears. Plus I thought if I told you guys that I was doing it it would make me stick with it - a bit like sex!  

Polly - are your meetings in English or Italian? I imagine you are fluent in all European languages as well as a computer genius!

Enough rambling,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I need you to describe m/s to me. I felt absolutely fine this morning but come 1:30 I had this awful wave of nausea. It's a really odd nausea too. I feel hungover without having gotten drunk? I went and made myself a jacket potato and managed a few mouthfuls. Felt a bit better for a while and now it's back again but my tummy is rumbling.

There's got to be an explanation for this. I can't be pg. I am freaking myself out right now. There's no way we've done it, just no way.

P.S - Glad my joke worked xxx

ooh Polly. I'm trying to read Northern Lights. I think I'm with Emma and can't get into the whole other world thing. Really gutted about it. Back to chick lit for me I think.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - OK, here's my experience of m/s. 
There was the one night where I was sick 4 times (proper, gut-spewing stuff, sorry TMI), but that was a one off. I have this nagging, wierd queasy/nauseous feeling a lot of the time. It starts in the morning, not the moment I wake up, but by the time I've been to the bathroom and staggered downstairs to make breakfast it is there. It pretty much stays with me all morning. It seems to go in the afternoon, but comes back in the evening. I'd liken it to travel sickness, if you've ever had that. You know when you are in a car and someone else is driving (my MIL is the worst for this with her-stop-start style of driving ), and you start to feel slightly queasy, but aren't actually going to be sick. 
When I have this feeling and get a scent of anything (eg dh's porridge this morning, any fried or fatty or spicy food, alcohol) I start heaving, like I'm going to be sick, but I'm not actually sick. It makes cooking quite difficult!
Eating doesn't seem to make the m/s any better or worse, although I have no appetite for any fried or fatty foods. The thought of a bacon sandwich or a fried egg makes me feel quite unwell, but I used to have a real weakness for them. Maybe its my body's way of ensuring I only eat the stuff that is good for me. I've also lost any desire to eat sweet things, although the thought of them doesn't make me feel sick. The strange thing is that I can feel ravenously hungry and nauseous at the same time - i had that in a big way this morning.

But I guess it is different for everyone. I still worry that it has all been a dream and there is nothing in there, but time will tell. I definately had that 'hungover' feeling the night when I was sick 4 times; I remember saying exactly that to dh.

I hope that helps, but feel free to ask any more questions. I just didn't want to mention baby stuff too much in posts in case it upset anyone. Your description of the tiredness you feel sounds eerily familiar too!

It is entirely possible that you could be pg, but I understand why you wouldn't want to get your hopes up.

Emma, xxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Just a thought, Annie. Are you having to go to the bathroom all the time, including throughout the night?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

I am feeling better today in both senses. still feel run down but better and feel a little brighter. even thinking about bms later whcih I would have thought was a no go this month the way I have been feeling.

Annie you spoke a lot of sense earlier ( sorry that sounds like I am surprised which I'm not) what you said made sense and helped heaps.
wasn't feeling like going out on saturday but friend and DH are forcing me to go if I didn't know better I would think DH had a bit on teh side the way he is pushing me out the door but I know why he is doing it.
I don't know what to do about work, there has been a bit of a shift around while I was away yesterday  and a member of my staff has been swapped for someone else. The person coming in my room from monday  I am more friendly with so thinking it will improve things at work as I'll enjoy it more, Other girl was very nice but I just didn't connect with her. So hoping I'll have more of a laugh at work.
Some things at my work will never change, ie everyone getting treated different so I wont be staying there long term but would be better for me in the long run to stay a while longer, I haev only been there 6 months so it doesn't look good on my cv plus it would be easier to stay and finnish my course but that is 15 months long so we'll see if I can stick it that long!
I will still apply for any better jobs that I see but I wont be so eager to jump ship to another job that is the same, if that makes sense.

Thank you all for being so supportive, I really would be lost without you.

Annie, I know you don't want to get your hopes up and I feel guilty as I type incase your not pg but it does sound increasing likely.
At first I thought you probably had what I had or a bug similar but its gone on to long to be a bug now I think.
Maybe you should test, but its completly up to you hun I am not pressuring you.

Polly, there really is no end to your talents! thank you for thinking off me the last few days to, thats kind with everything else you have going on.

Emma, are you 7 or 8 weeks now? have got a date for your scan yet? It will be hard sometimes to read or talk abotu baby stuff but I know you'll understand that, the same as we understand you excitment and need to talk about it so please feel free to talk to us we want to share in your happiness.

My friend is probably going to give birth in the next couple of weeks me thinks, although this is very very exciting it is also very very hard.

Take care 

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening

Had to go and lay down this afternoon for a while to let the nausea pass. More convinced now that I've got some sort of bug. No reason in particular for this, I just can't be pg.

Sorry I must be boring you all to tears with this again! Only one way to know for sure and put us all out of our misery. Tomorrow is the day. If AF doesn't arrive overnight I'm definitely going to do one.

Donna - So pleased you're feeling a bit better today

Emma - Thank - You so much for sharing your m/s experiences with me. If not relevent now it'll come in handy in the near future

Sorry someone asked what Pride & Prejudice was like. It was FANTASTIC!!! I was always a Colin Firth supporter when it came to Mr Darcy and couldn't imagine anyone topping him. New chap was very very good though and  not at all hard on the eyes.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna - you sound a lot happier today, and a lot more positive about the way forward. That is great. I was getting very worried about you. in terms of jobs, it must take the pressure off a bit to know that you don't have to leave this instant for your own mental well-being. You can apply for another job if it takes your fancy, but don't have to spend every minute of your spare time hunting and applying for jobs. perhaps you could carry on with the college course with a new employer?

I reckon a night out will do you the world of good. 

To answer your questions, I am 7+2 weeks. My GP has written (hopefully) to the hospital and they will send me an appointment time at about 12 weeks, but they don't do any scans until 16 weeks. My health authority doesn't offer the nuchal scan (11-13 weeks) which tests for likelihood of Down's Syndrome, but there are a few local private clinics where I can get this done. I've decided on the same hospital where I saw the gynaecologist for the vag, because it is a good hosiptal and everyone there seems very efficient and friendly. My local hospital is squalid, has a poor reputation, and, most crucially, has a shortage of parking.

Got to go and cook now. 
Annie - hope you are OK and taking things easy.

Emma, xxxxxxxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie  - just saw your post. I want to wish you all the luck in the world for that awful/crucial test tomorrow. You need to know now, one way or the other, for your sanity.

You've convinced me about P&P! Not sure I can get dh to come with me, mind!

Emma, xxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

sorry just a quick post,

Annie I wish lots of luck tommorrow    I'm gonna be wondering all day. Have everythign crossed for you.

Emma I can complete course with new employer but need to hold a senior postion so it is better for me to gain ecperience where I am and then move on.
Cant believe you don't get a scan till 16 wks I thought 12 was the norm, think I'd def get one doen private if I could afford it.

Must get back to the bill - its live!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Just had to log on to hear the latest in the Annie-saga!

Fingers crossed for testing tomorrow...

oooh! it's soooo exciting !!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie - I'm thinking of you. Fingers crossed. 

Got to dash to the vets now.

Emma, xxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - my nerves are shot to pieces here! Hope you're OK............

Donna - hope you're feeling better. Bet you're glad its the weekend. Is tomorrow your big night out?

Polly - hope you are stil enjoying Italy.

Sorry to be brief - I'm in the middle of cooking. 

Back tomorrow afternoon, if not before. I'm taking my youngest pest to dog training in the morning - walking to heel (definately not one of  his strong points).

Bye, emma, xxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Evening All

I am so sorry I've mad you wait all day. I totally talked myself out of foing one this morning because I had a small amount of blood.

However a friend persuaded me to do one for my own piece of mind and.......




I am in absolute shock. I ran down the stairs with my jeans round my ankles and burst into tears. I'm shaking as i type this so apologies for any spelling errors.

Guess I didn't have flu after all. DH is soooo shocked he can't speak.

BUT - don't get too excited for me just yet. There is still the fact that I have had spotting this week and as you know that could be something normal or not. I have an appointment with the fertility clinic on Monday for a blood pregnancy test.

Can't believe I am typing these words. Never thought I would. Just hope he/she stays there now  

Thank-You so much for your continual nagging to do a test!!!! 

I await your shock replies!!!


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

OMG OMG OMG    

Congratulations Annie xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

YEAH!!!!!!

WELL DONE!!!!! (I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!)

I've run the batttery down on my pda logging in every 30 mins to see what happened!!

great news!!!!!

POLLY


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

THANKS!!!!

I literally did not sleep last night. I have so much running through my mind right now -specifically when and how?!?!?

I didnt even think DH was "in"

I didn't do myself any favours by not sleeping last night. I feel sick as a dog this morning - but happy!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie - that is just wonderful news! I knew it would be a BFP!

              

I am delighted for you and dh! 
I wonder how far gone you are - probably quite a few weeks!

Take care,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks Emma. I have a sneaky feeling I might be a day or two either side of your due date, but to be honest I have no flipping idea. It either happened when we were on holiday or a few days after we got back. We didn't do it for ages after that  

I guess I'll find out soon if everything keeps going alright. I think I'm going to have to go and get another test. Just to make sure I wasn't dreaming it.

Somebody pinch me cause this cannot be real


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie - hope you're OK. It is just the weirdest feeling isn't it. 
You have seen so many times on here, you can't get a false positive. What kind of test did you use? Did the result come quickly and strongly? I heartily recommend the clearblue digital ones, even though they are much more expensive. I had to do the second test just be sure, and for dh's peace of mind too. I reckon you could be further on than me.
I was thinking about you today and, although I'm no doctor  (obviously  ) you might be well advised not to have any more sex until you've been checked out. I only say that because my GP said sex was absolutely fine unless there was any bleeding, and you mentioned a strange experience with that a few days ago. (Mind you, as the GP said to me, if all you had to do to miscarry was have sex the teenage abortion rate wouldn't be what it was).

Are you still feeling sick? I hope you get some sleep tonight. I wish I could. I had yet another sleepless night  - a combination of my neighbours having a major fight (things thrown at walls, screaming etc), bladder issues and worrying about not moving.

Donna - hope you are OK. Have a lovely night out tonight. Bet we won't be hearing from you until quite late tomorrow.
Polly - I was in your neck of the woods today, enjoying traffic chaos (major accident outside Hitchin). Hope you get/got back from Italy OK (and with a souvenir to boot).

I have to go and buy shoes tomorrow. Not my favourite activity. The flip-flop season is definitely coming to an end.......

Take care everyone,
Emma xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

How's the head this morning Donna?!?! I hope you had a fabulous evening out with your girlie friends and had a few shots of something that'll keep you in bed all morning! Come and tell us all about it! I can't wait to hear about it.

Polly - Are you home now? Sorry I ran your battery down  

Emma - I felt a bit sick yesterday morning and had to run back upstairs when DH started making toast. The smell made me gag. Once I'd forced the toast in I felt much better. Am permanantley hungry but don't fancy anything. When I do start eating something I can only get a small amount in. My bb's felt a bit more tender yesteday but not sore as such and I have got raging acid indigestion. I slept rather well last night, got up at 8 this morning but went back to bed for another 2 hours. Still feel like I could sleep some more though.

I went until last night without anymore spotting, well I call it spotting but that doesn't feel the right thing to say. It's not spots of blood (tmi coming be warned) - it's like when you're finishing an AF and you have a slight dark brown stain?/snail trail!!! Does that make sense? Either way I was convinced last night that I'm going to miscarry. I have never been more scared my entire life. I also had some twinges last night and I thought I'd wake up to AF this morning. I've waited so long for this and now I'm scared out of my mind.

I did do another test yesterday. I've used the Clearblue digital ones on both occassions. The result came up reasonably quickly and when I pulled the stick out there is clearly 2 blue lines.

I've got my blood test at the hospital tomorrow so I guess we go from there really. I've got no choice but to sit and wait and see what happens. I don't dare move and I don't dare go anywhere which is crazy I know.

Hoping you're all going to be here to get me through this. I need you all now more than ever


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

I had a fantastic night last night drank far far to much especially when me got on the shambuka! but that helped block everything out.

Sorry and I am not being selfish or maybe I am and I am sorry if that is the case but I don't feel I can post at the moment. I will still be reading all posts though.

I am sorry but feel i can't post as I don't want to dampen the mood or take anything away Emma and Annies extreame and understandable happiness.

Sorry 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello all,

Donna - I'm glad you had a good night last night.

I totally understand where you are coming from re posting. I'm so sorry if I have been insensitive; I know that I would have found it really tough if other people had got bfps before me. You are not being selfish at all, just honest, and that is _always_ a good thing. If you can't be honest here, where nobody is going to judge you, where can you? If it helps you not to post, then go with that. But I for one don't mind at all if you want to rant and rave here about things, including how much I might have p****d you off. I'd love to be able to help you get though this and get your own bfp. There is no obligation to be happy and cheerful if you feel wretched. Even if you decide not to post, you certainly won't be forgotten. I could not have got to this position without all your help and support over the past months. i can't even begin to tell you how much it means to me. Take care Donna, and I am always here for you. 

Annie - hope you are OK. Is the blood test to make sure everything is OK because of the spotting, or would you have had one anyway (I know that is near impossible to answer because you weren't really expecting this)? I will be keeping  for you. I know just what you mean about not daring to move. For the first few days I was going to the bathroom every 2 minutes to check that there wasn't any bleeding, and I am still scared each time I go. I guess the worrying will never stop. My understanding is that brown stuff is nothing to worry about, just your body getting rid of old blood. I'm pleased (and jealous) that you got a good night's sleep.

I had a big panic last night when I got a stabbing pain in one side, then realised that I hadn't actually eaten so much fruit and veg yesterday (when I described having these type of pains to my GP last week she said it was my bowel reacting to not enough roughage). I promptly ate 3 nectarines and a bunch of grapes and all is well again. I think dh was even more worried than me; he will be just devastated if anything goes wrong.

I had decided to go for a private scan just to check everything was OK (the one you can have from 6 weeks). But I phoned the clinic yesterday and found out it is the kind where they stick the ultrasound wand up inside you, and I just panicked and said I'd changed my mind. I don't think I can manage that or face the stress of it.

Polly - hello! Hope you'll be back with us soon.

I actually bought some boots this morning. I'm embarrassed to admit that they are almost exactly the same as the ones that are worn out. My work from Japan has arrived today. It'll be good to do something that keeps me busy and distracts me. There are major roadworks starting near here tomorrow and it will be near impossible to get anywhere, so I'm going to stay put and but all my food by internet. We've also decided to reduce the price of our house to see if that prompts a quick sale. 

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thank you Emma for what you said, I had tears in my eyes but then I am very emotional at the moment.
I just feel that it is unfair of me to come on here feeling so down and rant about not being pregnant as it will sound like I am having a dig at you and Annie - which I would never do I am so happy for you both and you both deserve it so so much but at the same time it hurts alot to.
I was/am feeling very up and down at the moment as you know and I think Annie's BFP was just the last straw, as I write this I know that sounds like I am having a go at you Annie but really I am not and I don't want you to feel guilty about it thats why I think it is better for you both if I don't post untill I feel more on top of things if I ever do.

Annie I hope all is well with you blood test, is it to measure your HCG levels? will you get the reult same day? I will log on to see how it goes.

I hope reducing teh price of your house gives you a quick sale Emma that would make everything perfect for you  

Hi Polly

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

I'm back! I haven't planned another trip in the near future, but maybe I should arrange something, as someone always seems to get bfp!

So where do you want to send me so that Donna can get a +?

It wasn't overall a good trip, mostly quite boring and irritating, but I had to go. Yesterday we hired a car and went to the coast, very posh part and had lunch. Not a brilliant lunch overall, not even any wine, just a starter followed by grilled fish and boiled potatoes. DH had a chocolate mousse. It came to 96 euros!!!!! won't go there again!  

We passed other villages along the coast on the way back that were not as posh, but probably looked as nice, so I thought it was a bit of a shame that I had decided on that particular destination. Never mind, we live and learn as the man said.

The weather was nice, but we spent too much time driving.

I managed to keep to my not eating gluten, eggs and dairy, it was really hard, and a couple of days I felt awful in the afternoon, due to not having any carbs to eat at lunch time. So after a year and a half of not drinking alcohol, we had wine each night, just a half bottle between us. I was feeling SO deprived not being able to have any pizza, pasta, pastries, puddings, bread etc, that I had to do something. I felt a bit bad, though, because I'm always worried that something I do will be the one thing that stops me getting pg. But then, you gotta live, innit?

Donna, hope you got my pm ok, do keep reading, you might feel more like posting in a while, but for the meantime, take care. It'll be your turn soon!

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I owe you a huge apology. I have been incredibly insensitive and utterly selfish the last few days. I am so so sorry. I know exactly how you are feeling right now and I know that the last thing you want to hear is me raving on. I feel such an awful friend right now. I hope you can forgive me 

Donna, I consider you one of my good friends and I want you to know that I understand and I'm here for you whenever you're ready for a chat. You mean alot to me which makes me feel even more of a b***h. I'm so sorry  

Polly -Welcome back! Sounds like you had a fabulous time and well done on sticking to the diet!

Emma - Hopefully the drop in asking price for your house will see a new influx of potential buyers. I know it's hard, but it will sell. Houses down this way or is it up this way? anyway they're all a bit slow on the selling front at the mo. MIL has had her late Father's bungalow on the market since March time. However that place needs a heck of alot of work doing to it!!!!


G,night everyone x


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie you havem't been at all selfish in anyway so please dont think that, I dont want you or Emma to feel bad or keep your excitment and anxtity to yourself because of me.

Its hard becasue the 3 people who knew better than anyone what I am going through, 2 of them are preg and are no longer going through it which is fantastic and does give me hope but at the moment I can't see it happening to me, I know you are all going to tell me that it will but right now I can't believe you.

I guess what makes it harde is I thought that I might be first as I am youngest and have no other problems but it seems that isn't the case so why cant I get pregnant.

Definatly wont be happening this month only had bms once!

I am ready to stop right now, maybe I'll never have children feels like I am fighting a loosing battle where I get knocjed back month after month, who would keep putting themselve through this torture for what? another AF.

Sorry was only ment to post so you didn't feel bad none of this is in anyway your fault and I don't want you to feel bad, guilty or selfish.
Sorry kinda went into one.

Good luck for blood test

night night xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Donna - if you see this,  . I hope everything goes alright for you at work. Wasn't it this week that you start working alongside the person you get on well with? That could make such a difference.

Polly - welcome back! Perhaps you should have that weekend at Champneys soon, for Donna's sake. I can't imagine that a few glasses of wine will make one bit of difference. It must be so hard working out what to eat so that you get all the right vitamins and nutrients. Do you have to take supplements?

Annie -  for some good news today, to put your mind at rest. 

The estate agent promises me that we'll have lots more people coming to view this week, once we reduce the price. Lets hope so. If not we have to decide whether to change agents or to go with multiple agents. Any views? 
Dh has decided that he'll live with his grandmother in Chester during the week so we don't have to pay to rent somewhere else. They'll drive each other nuts but it is the sensible option.

Have a lovely day everyone,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Everyone

Just a quickie to let you know that the blood test went fine this morning. Get the results tomorrow

Have a good day xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon,

Glad the blood test went OK Annie. How mean of them to make you wait until tomorrow.

No phonecalls from estate agents yet. Hmmmmmm. 

I'm supposed to be working today, but I keep finding other things to do. It is like having/avoiding homework all over again.   I have just made and drunk the most fabulous banana and peach smoothie. Yum yum.

I've given up on War and Peace, after only getting 14 pages in. I decided that life was too short to waste reading something that I felt I ought to read rather than something I actually wanted to read. I need to find a good book now.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Have you read The Time Traveller's Wife? My fave-rave book this year.

or have you found this site: www.lovereading.co.uk ?

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Thanks Polly - that is _just _ the type of book I am after. 
I started it earlier in the year but got distracted by something else. I'll dig it out, start again, and let you know how I get on.

I'll check out that site too.....

Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Wow - thanks Polly. I love reading. Can't keep going back over my Harry Potter books forever!

Have either of you read My Sisters Keeper by Jodi Picoult? That's one of my top reads for this year


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I'll put that one next on my list, Annie.  

I dug out my copy of the Time Traveller's Wife, sat down to read it and promptly fell asleep.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

If you fancy a easy piece of chick lit that warms the cockles of your heart check out Where Rainbows End by Cecilia Ahern or P.S I Love You. I read each of those books in 2 days. Be warned you will need a box of Maltesers and Andrex!

Donna - How was work today?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Evening

How is everyone?

back at work today, it was ok, but very bitty, didn't get  a lot of "my" work done, as I was in demand for chats about this and that. Nothing too serious, just bitty.

Annie, hope that the results put your mind at ease - what happens when you get them? Will you go and see your GP then?

Emma, you must get some potential buyers soon. But you must stop worrying about it, not good for you or Baby Daffodil.

Donna, how was work today?

I've got an appointment with the clinic on Friday. Make or break day for that clinic, so I hope that I hold it together while I talk to them.  

Love 

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie hope blood test results are good tommorrow, may indicate how pregnant you are?
I'll look in and see

Emma estate agent doesn't sound very good I would def look at changing I think but I'm by far no expert when it comes to house selling

Take care

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly - I have no doubt that you'll hold it together. Will be dh be there with you for moral support? I'm glad you have a plan of action for tx. If they're not the clinic for you do you have some potential alternatives waiting in the wings? If they are the clinic for you does this mean you''ll be able to get started with tx on your next cycle? Are you going for IUI or IVF? Who knows, there might be a bfp waiting to happen before then.  

Donna - hope you are OK. I think we will change agents. The dilemma is this - if we drop them and change to another one we have to give 2 weeks notice, which effectively means 2 weeks when noone will look round. On the plus side, the fees will be lower if we change to another single agent. If we go with multiple agencies the fees are much higher, but we can get another one on board right away. Then I can't help wondering whether the particular agent is so relevent when most people are finding properties on the internet through websites such as rightmove. Another house has gone on sale in our road. The asking price is £5000 less but it is smaller, uglier, and very dated inside (owned by a sweet little old lady). Perhaps if we changed to the same agent as them we'd get all the people looking round our house as well as hers? We just don't know what to do for the best, and I am losing far too much sleep over it.

Annie - hello. I hope the results go well today. 

I picked up the TTW book again last night and felll asleep again.   It will take me months to read it at this rate!

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone!

I'm back at work today lying through my teeth. Willing the clock to spin round to 11:30 so I can call the hospital. It is simply to check the amount of hormone in my system and to give a rough indication of how far along we are. I'll let you know straight away.

Polly - I'm sure you will hold it together on Friday. I find you an all together person myself! In the past I have found that they sometimes try and encourage you down a road that you don't necessarily feel comfortable with. My only piece of advice is to really understand why they are recommending something and why they believe it's the best thing for you.

Donna - Good to hear from you my lovely x

Emma - That is quite a dilemma you have there my friend. What does DH think?


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi - just called the hospital. They told me that the hcg levels were huge and I'm certainly more than a few weeks along. Probably nearer the 7-8 weeks as we thought. They're going to book me in for an early scan to confirm as my cycles have a recent history of being long and irratic + I told them i'm really scared about the darker discharge.  Should be in the next week or two. The Midwife I spoke to today was the one who was getting me ready for IUI. She laughed and said " I knew you were scared about that tube test!"

Anyway, just wanted to let you all know. Speak to you all later x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - it must be a huge relief to know you are definately very pg! 

Take care,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home ladies


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## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New home this way >>>>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=37986.0

Fantastic news Annie!!

H xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Evening all,

Hope you all had a lovely Tuesday. 

Donna - is work better this week? 

Polly - hope you had a less bitty day at work. Is your big event back on track?

Annie - hope you are OK.

No excitements to report from round these parts. Dh is watching football - too dull for words.

Night, night,
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hi all,

Annie that is fantastic news hope it has pu tyour mind at rest a little.

Work was absoulte hell for the hour I was there
New manager has been there 2 weeks and is rude to everyone, she was giving out warnigns today, mine was complete rubbish I didn't agree with any off it, I don't look after the babies properly and there was a whole list of things I hadn't doen or improved which she had asked me to do thing was I had done all of them! I was so angry that I just left work! stupid and impulsive I know!

goign to speak to owner tommorrow but as I am white I can't see me getting very far and quite frankly don't think I wasnt the job anyway!

Looks like I am job hunting!

its always one thing after another don't think I can take much more!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

Wow!!! Gosh!!! How do you feel now? Relieved or horrified? That should tell you how much you want this job back!

Good Luck with talking to the owner tomorrow. I hope whatever the outcome you feel you did the right thing.

Annie - well done on the results.

Emma - I have decided to postpone the event, it's all gone horribly wrong, and the best thing is to cancel it "for reasons beyond our control" and do it later when I can do it properly. I shouldn't have left other people to do it.  

Anyway, this seems to be the longest tww in the world. AF due Thursday after this one, and probably will arrive. But the slower the time seems to pass, the more time I have to get false hopes up.  

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

Goodness Donna, you poor thing. It seems to be one crisis after another for you at work. Did you argue your case? Are deliberately they trying to p**s you off to get you to resign (idiots)? Why don't they appreciate all the hard work you put in?
As Polly says, you need to go with your gut instinct on this. Try and ignore the money element (I know that is easier to say than do) and think about whether or not you really want to work there. What does dh think you should do?
I am sure you could get another job pretty quickly. All this stress is not good for you, especially not when TTC.

Good luck talking to the owner today. I hope you get the outcome that you want. I'll be thinking of you.

Polly - easier said than done, but the only way to get through the 2ww is to be distracted with something else. I guess that will be particularly difficult for you if you are talking to clinics about ttc at the same time. On the plus side, at least you'll have a plan B in case you don't get a bfp this month (although I really hope you do).
Sounds like you've made the right decision about the big event. 
I finally made some progress with The TTW book last night.  

Annie - good luck at work today. Do you have a scan date yet?

Bye for now,
Emma, xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Donna - I have to say, fair play to you for walking out. You have put up with more than enough from these people. Who does this woman think she is?!?! 2 weeks in the job and she's handing out warnings - I've never heard anything so ridiculous.I agree with you Donna and you need to speak to the owner. Worse case scenario you can always temp somwhere for a while to keep some money rolling in and look for a more *professional* establishment.We're right behind you matey - GO FOR IT!

Polly - So sorry to hear you had to cancel your event. I believe you & I have have a very similar tendency to want to be in control!!!! I would have cancelled it too and re scheduled so I could do the job "properly" 

Emma - Hospital has just called. Scan is on Friday at 9:40. They called me at the office so I didn't get a chance to ask if it will be internal or not 

Have a good day everyone x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - good that the scan is so soon. Far better than having to stew and fret for days on end.

Emma, xxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - you haven't posted on here during the day (I've been looking out). Does that mean you stuck it out at work today? Did you have things out with the owner?
Donna - you are too good for these people and deserve better!

Polly, Annie - hello!

I'm having some new estate agents round tomorrow to sound them out about changing agents. I've spent all day polishing and cleaning so as to make a good impression. I am bored out of my mind! Hope you've all had a more entertaining day.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone!

Polly, Donna - are you both alright?  

Emma - Good luck with the estate agents!

Went to see Colin Fry (TV medium) last night. Nobody came through with a message for me, but I had a fab time all the same. 

Plans for the extension arrived yesterday. Not quite what I want so good job they're only preliminary ideas. Architect put in another bedroom right where I would like my new big bathroom! Think we need to give him a call.

Wishing you all a pleasant day.


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - glad you had a good evening. How many bedrooms/bathrooms will Annie Mansions have in the end? Do you have to apply for planning permission all over again?

Donna, Polly - hope you are OK.   too.

I have potential new estate agents round this lunchtime. i have to spend the morning removing all traces of dog hair. I love my dogs to bits, but at times like this they are a nuisance. The agent we're with at the moment has given us a huge half page picture in their advert in today's local paper (instead of the usual tiny picture). Perhaps that will make a difference. I think they know that we may be about to ditch them.

Although I'm still keen on the perfect house in Chester, another one came on the market yesterday which looks interesting. It is a few miles outside and needs a lot of internal renovation but it comes with 1.5 acres. I could keep chickens and grow lots of vegetables! 

got to dash now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Are you kidding me Emma? 1.5 acres?, chickens and a veggie patch? and you're saying Annie Mansions  

Mine will still be a shoebox compared to that.

However, to answer your question. It could be 4 bedrooms, but I'm tempted to leave it as 3 and have 1 large master bedroom and a jumbo bathroom that can fit cupboards and both a shower cubicle and a bath tub. I always dreamed of having those as big rooms that I could prance around in and not bang into chest of drawers or bathtub after 2 steps.

Hopefully our arhcitect will come and see us soon and advise us til we get to the final design


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Annie - the other house (the one we'd originally set our hearts on) is small. Standard-sized 3 bed semi with a normal sized garden. The merit of that one, apart from the fact it is beautiful inside (original features, working fireplaces/woodburners, fab kitchen) is its location - in one of the best roads in Chester and walking distance of the city centre, but also close to the river with many dog-walking possibilities.
What will be, will be........

Tough call on the extension. If you're planning to stay there for a while go for the bathroom of your dreams, but if you think you might want to sell a few years down the line you'll get a far better price if you have 4 bedrooms rather than 3. It all depends upon how many Annie juniors you might produce! 
I have this picture in my head now of you constantly dancing and twirling around your house!

I am really tired now. I'm going to go and prepare a casserole for later and then put my feet up 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

This will definitely be it. I won't be able to afford to move after this    This extension has the potential to cause a few problems in the near future if things look like they're going to happen. Can we get planning permission through in time to find a builder who can get it all going fairly quickly? Move out over Xmas which I wasn't keen on but things might have changed so tough luck and pray that we're back in the house in time for any pending arrival? Can we then afford this if I'm not going to be earning anything for some time? Many questions possibly. Something I shouldn't be thinking about right now when things aren't definite. 

Guess we'll see.


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Emma good lcuk with estae agents.

Polly good luck for tommrorrow, I 'll be thinking of you.

Annie good luck for scan you must be so excited can't wait to here.

well........... went for chat on wednesday and was sacked for walking out! but after I put my points across and my god there was a few the owner said come back monday and we can talk some more. I gave back my uniform and keys and he said I 'll leave them here for you on monday because although I have given you your p45 I can still re employ you ? 

I am 100% not going back unless new manager had gone, I can not work with her!
But don't think I'll be going back its to much hassel there and don't think I can be doing with it.

Joined and agency that does permanent and temp work They got me an interview that was ment to be today in a fantastc nursery that sounds just what I am looking for, unfortunatley they had to postpone the interviewn today as the Manager had to cover in 1 of the rooms so will rearrange tommorrow.

Found myself another interview on wednesday at 2:30 and posted my cv to 2 other places that had vacancies so hopefully 1 of them will pull off if not I'll do temp work.

Problem is I have already lost 1wks money and will probably loose next weeks so that is half my rent short this month already which could be more if I don't get work soon. so not sure what we will do -  well I do it will ahve to come out of the overdraft which is not ideal.

On the up side if there is one? I haven't had time or the space in my brain to be down abotu ttc! saw brotheres girlfriend today though and her bump has grown did feel sad 

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi girls

Donna, well done on getting the interviews, I really hope that it goes well. You know me, I don't like to tell people what to do  (), but it in no way sounds like you should even think about going back. You weren't happy, and are they really going to make life easier for you if you go back? I think not. The money gap is worrying, sure, but you are on a path now to find a new job, so keep going. You may not find one that makes you happier, but you couldn't be unhappier than you have been!

Emma, hope all the house stuff goes well, the other house sounds good....

Good luck for tomorrow Annie - you sounded unsure about something, was it about being "really" pg? Are you still having spotting, or has it stopped?

I am off for my appt tomorrow afternoon, so hopefully it will go well. I've felt a bit icky today, and really tired, but then I had good reasons to be tired, work was manic, talk about herding cats!!! There's been a bug thing going round work, so I hope I'm not coming down with it, especially as DH is away all next week.   (no-one to look after me!)

Anyway, I'll let you know how I get on, 

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - good for you for walking out and sticking to your guns! They have treated you so badly, and you deserve so much better. At least it sounds like there are a lot of possible jobs out there. Someone is bound to snap you up soon. Of course the money must be a huge worry, but you couldn't go on working somewhere that made you so unhappy. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for your interview tomorrow. 

Polly - I wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow too. I hope you and the clinic are on the same wavelength so that you can get started with it all right away.   

Annie - good luck with the scan tomorrow.   

Gosh, I'm the only one who doesn't have a big event tomorrow. I feel quite left out! 

We're are going to go with joint agents to try and sell the house. They are so keen to have our business that the fees are only going to be slightly higher than with a single agency. I am so sick of the stress of it all. The magic house with lots of land (mentioned earlier today) is no longer for sale; it was only on the market for one day but the vendor changed their mind. Sorry, I must stop going on about house stuff. Dh and I have agreed not to talk about it in the evenings because we are both having nightmares and losing sleep over it.  

Take care everyone, and good luck tomorrow,

Emma, xxxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Afternoon everyone,

I hope you are all getting on OK today. I'm thinking of you all.  

I've just phoned a local clinic and booked myself in for a dating/vialbility scan tomorrow morning. I am petrified!

Back later to ctach up on all your news.

Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi All! - wow what a lot of news!

Donna - I am so proud of you. That cannot have been easy and I think you did so well to remain in the same room as that owner and tell him exactly how his Nursery is being run. Clearly he was trying to back pedal by suggesting you might still have a position there. Hope you told him to shove it! I think it's great that you already have a few possibilities lined up - one of them is sure to pan out. Is there any chance of them getting you a few days work somewhere/anywhere else, just to ease the rent situation a little? Perhaps a weekend picking/packing or something like that?  Do you feel any way relieved in having left that place? A little bit of weight off your shoulders?

Polly - Thinking of you and hoping all goes exactly as you want it to today, if not better!

Emma - Best of luck tomorrow morning! Make sure you come on here and tell us how it goes

Well... scan seemed to go well today. I filled my bladder so much because I was scared of having to have "dildocam". The nurse was visibly shocked when she saw it on screen and said "isn't that hurting" Hell yeah it was but I would have done anything to make sure it stayed external. Anway, saw the baby or should I say dot and a clear flutter of a heartbeat. They think I'm about 7 weeks maybe a day or 2 more. They're goign to call me back in between weeks 12 & 16 to have another look and give me a definite due date. We're going to work with 8th May in the meantime.

Will be back later to hear all your news xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - that is fantastic news. I am so relieved for you! You and dh must be on  

Polly, Donna - hope you got on OK today 

Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

RATS RATS

I just wrote a long post and pressed the wrong button and lost it all. Can't do it again tonight, I'll try again tomorrow.

Well done on the scan, Annie

Good luck for tomorrow, Emma

How are you, Donna?


Lots of love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Annie that is fantastic do you belive there is a baby in there now? well done hun

Emma, how ws scan? can't wait to hear

Polly, how was clinic you post didn't give much away hope it all went well.

Didn't have interview in teh end yesterday they haven't rearranged yet so will hopefully be next week. I have interwiew on wednesday as I mentioned before the job is for a room leader so would be good if I got it as I could still carry on with my college course and I wouldn't be taking a step back to nursery nurse - not that I really mind that either as plenty of time to climb back up the ladder.
Got interview on tuesday in Waterloo, which realistically is to far I think for me to travel everyday but at this stage I can't afford to turn away interviews and if teh money was right then I would consider travelling.

Annie to anwser your question I do feel liberated! and like a hudge weight has been lifted just need to get a job quickly so I don't get into more debt especially when we have been working so hard to get back on track - something always happens its one thing after another.

Its made 2ww wizz by though I haven't thought about it although only had bms once so its not that likely which is a good thing this month.

Going to the docs on monday, as still have this chesty cough thing and terrible lower back pain.

Hope you are all well

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

where is everybody??

I want to hear all your news.............

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello everyone,

Donna - what a shame your interview was postponed, but at least you've got a few lined up for next week. Someone is bound to snap you up!
You are right to go to the doctors about your cough etc; it shouldn't have gone on for so long. Perhaps being so stressed has made it last longer than it ought.

Polly - how did you get on yesterday?

Annie - hope you are OK.

What exciting things are you al up to this weekend?

Well I had the scan and all is well, thank goodness. I was _so_ scared you wouldn't believe. Far worse even than doing the hpt. I am 8+2 weeks, and the heartbeat is just as it should be. It was supposed to be external, but I got a bit carried away and drank too much water, so when they tried that all they could see was my very full bladder. They made me empty my bladder and then have the internal dildocam, but I could manage it just fine; I amazed myself with that, as it was a real no-no this time last year. They gave me 2 pictures of the blob to take away. 

Take care everyone,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Thats fantastic Emma, so you and Annie are 1 week aparts thats nice too. I have never heard of teh scan being done internally so learnt something today.

Polly how are you how did it go yesterday??


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi, I'll have another go at posting. Hopefull I'll succeed this time!

Annie & Emma, well done on the scans. But surely, Emma,  the dates mean that when you had that last "one day" af, it was implantation? (Are you listening, Donna?)

Anyway, yesterday's appointment at the clinic went as well as possible. I prepared what I wanted to say on little cards, and the c/s listened all the way through and I didn't lose it! DH and I have made a decision that we want to make every effort with the clinic between now and end Feb, and then stop. We also said that we wanted to know what the plan was, and if we changed it, why.

The upshot is that we are having IUI every month til then. We thought that with Christmas, that might mean 4 months actual IUI, but a quick look at the dates this morning suggests that unless my cycles change, we might get another one in JUST before going to Tenerife for Christmas, and be back in time to do the next one. So we might be able to do five.

We discussed ICSI as well, but obviously the vast difference in price would mean one or at most two goes at that, and he reckons that in my age group, the stats are as good (bad) for one as the other, so best to go for the one that we can afford more of. I have clomid to take days 2-6, to improve quality of ovulation.

I may have said this before, but this c/s did come out and say that without the surgery I had no chance of getting pg. The surgeon also said this, and so I now REALLY know that it is the case. Having the two idependently say it so categorically makes me realise it absolutely. I know it is now all sorted and over, but it makes me feel SO sad that I have got to this age, having seen gynaes since the age of 11, and no one stopped to think about the fact that I might have the need/desire/right to have children at any point. Going through it with DH yesterday, I even realised that if we had started straight away when we got married, it wouldn't have made any difference, as we would have been young enough to be eligible under the NHS, and would have seen the same gynae as I saw a few years ago anyway, and the outcome would have been the same. 

It's not about sueing or anything, but I really feel owed an out and out apology and explanation and recognition that this has really hurt my life - potentially irrevocably. But I know that that is not possible, the only recourse is to sue, and I DON'T want that. The fact that this has happened to me really makes me cross, sad and upset  . I know there are people much worse off in the world, but I don't think this needs to have happened.

We've been out and done the shopping, and I'm having a lazy day today, I don't feel like doing anything major, maybe watching a film or finishing my book. I've lit the fire, and think it's time for a cup of tea and a chocolate rice cake.

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Polly,

I think thats is fantastic news about IUI, but you don't seem so sure? If you couldn't get pregnant without teh operation and everything is great on that front now IUI has every likelyhood of succeeding    I understand your concerns about age but with clomid to help I really really think you stand a good chance, see we all have a high chance of being pregnant before or just after christmas.

Are you starting IUI this month? AF is next week isn't it so will you start the clomid then?
with IUI and bms you DO realy stand a chance so stay positive hun, this is a hudge step for you?
I can't remember but did you have iui before?

I think you should conplain to the trust where you saw the gynea I know it wont change anything but getting it all down on paper may make you feel better and you may even get the apology you deserve. I think its worth doing you have nothing to loose.

I am not sure but I think that when Emma went to the doc the GP said that her last AF although it was early and light was still an AF, is that right Emma? 
I truelly think my last AF was correct I should think myself lucky it was so short and it was probably stress of ttc and everything else that made it last 1 day! well see next weekend I guess wont we.

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Guys

Just a quickie. Had a bit of blood/spotting this afternoon and I am in a huge panic. I know it could be "normal" but it also might not be. I know I have no choice but to wait and see what happens. I'm just putting my feet up the rest of today and driving myself wild with my own thoughts.

Emma - I am so so happy for you. I knew everything would be alright. Fantastic news!

Polly - I have so much I want to say to you, but for now all I will mention is that Clomid has some very off side effects! I used to have mega hot flushes - but at least you knew it was doing something!

Donna - I've got everything crossed for your interviews

I'm off for now to go away and worry myself sick. Will check in again soon xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Donna

My goodness, but you do sound SO much more chipper than you have for a while!!! I'm sure you are still not on top of the world, but you sound better.

I am very excited and optimistic about the treatment    , and am really happy with the plan we have. Yes, af is due next Thursday, so I start with the clomid on Friday. I've just read somewhere that the earlier in the cycle that you take clomid, the more successful it is. It was an American site, so it might be that we always do itearly in this country, but it was very reassuring! 

I chose to have IUI just before the op, but we were not convinced if we got into my cervix, as the nurse couldn't see it. Now we have a nice clear view! 

But as happy as I am about having a plan to go forward, we have to be realistic about our chances (5%), allthough that is 5% more than up to now!

If I sounded ambivalent, it's just the sadness about the wasted years  . I probably won't decide to do anything about complaining, as four or five hospitals/gynaes have been involved in this through my life, and they have all been as bad as each other, although I didn't have a clue about that at the time. If it was a simple thing, I would probably decide to do it, but it's more a collection of errors, and very possibly each subsequent doc thought I understood more than I did, just because I'd been there before. Does that make sense? The most important thing is to concentrate on getting pg, to wipe the bad stuff out. Much as I feel all kinds of deep emotions about the situation, I'm not sure that there is an easy way to resolve it, and maybe it is better overall to let it go. (and if I have a girl, make sure that it isn't an inherited trait or if it is, make sure she doesn't go through what I did.)

So we are facing the future with hope and excitement, although given DH's sperm count, we probably won't supplement treatment with bms too much, but make sure that we don't stop having fun!

Good luck for next weekend. Wouldn't it fantastic if (despite everything) we both got a bfp this month  ?

Lots of love

Polly


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie

Just put your feet up, rest your hands on your tum and think warm calm thoughts. It's got to be better than worrying.

I'm sure you will be fine, did they say anything about spotting at the clinic that might help?

I am a little apprehensive about turning into the b*$#ch from hell with clomid, but maybe no-one will notice  , and it's all in a good cause. Be good to hear your experiences though!

Come back and talk when you and Annie-cino are calmer!  

Love

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello again,

Oh Annie - you must be going out of your mind.  You must have *total * rest for a few days, and speak to your GP on Monday, if not before. Can you call the early pregnancy unit at the hosipital? Was there any red stuff? In one of the books I have (Best Friends Guide to Pregnancy) the author says she had red spotting before each of her 4 children.

Polly - I can quite see why you must feel so frustrated at the wasted time and opportunities. Personally, I think it is far better to concentrate on betting that bfp. You don't need the added stress of dealing with what could have been in the past. On the other hand it would be worth making a fuss if it prevented the same msitakes being made again. 
It is so exciting that you are about to start Clomid and IUI. Who knows, you might not even need it. Are there any signs of af yet?
I hope you're enjoying your lazy day - sounds perfect!

Donna - yes you are right about my af. It seems that the one that was 8 days early and was a real non-event (started 4th Aug) was an af after all (probably light because I am convined that I didn't ovulate the month before), and my GP's dating was based on this af, now confirmed by the scan (well 2 days out).
I hope you are managing to rest and relax this weekend, despite all the worry about jobs and ttc. You need to be back in peak health asap.

I have been having a lazy afternoon myself - lying on the sofa reading. Dh is cooking a cuury - smells lovely!

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Still not sure what is happening. No bleeding over night, but when I went to the loo this morning and wiped (sorry) there was some brown colour there. I am constantly knicker checking and have never been more scared my entire life.

I don't feel pregnant today either. Got up this morning and am happily tucking into toast for the first time in a week without feeling sick or struggling to swallow.

Went back to bed yesterday and slept for a while. Will stay home again today with my feet up.

I don't think this pregnancy is going to pan out


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie

  
I can't begin to think how you feel, but you must try to relax, even by being asleep. Is there anyone that you can phone for reassurance?

You are pregnant, and I'm sure that Annie-cino has inherited her mum's positive outlook and determination, and that has got to help.

It's not that uncommon for bleeding in pregnancy, although everyone would feel better if it didn't happen, so you can't assume that it's bad news, especially brown.

take care

I'm taking DH to Heathrow now, but I'll check back with you when I get back.

Take care

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Annie - what a scary nightmare for you. If it is 'just' brown stuff, there shouldn't be any problem, but I know I would be petrified in your shoes. Did you say your MIL was a midwife  - have you asked her advice? Do you have any pain or cramping?
The best thing you can do is lie down with your feet up all day. Total bed rest. 
Annie junior is a fighter, I'm sure of it.  

I'll check back later,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks for your support guys. You have no idea how valuable it is right now  

Last 20 second pants check was all clear. I spoke to my friend earlier who had a baby 4 months ago. She recalls having some brown stuff when she went to the loo and she laughed when I said I didn't feel sick today. Apparently there are good days  

I'm so sorry if I'm being a drama queen. I guess It's just that I don't know what's normal and I've freaked myself out with miscarriage stories and statistics.

I'm still going to stay home today and relax with my feet up, just in case. Bed rest is a new experience for me. I'm used to running round like a looney.

OK, enough about me. 

Polly - Clomid didn't really have much of a PMT effect on me. All that really stands out are these incredible hot flashes. My skin used to turn red/flushed and I'd feel like I was on fire. It lasted no more than about 10/15 seconds and no more than once or twice a day. Used to make my colleague laugh.She'd fan me down with a pad of paper! Top tip that someone gave me was to take the tablets late evening so that you had the hot flashes while you were asleep. Totally worked!
I am so excited for you Polly. So if you start taking it on Friday do you have to go to the clinic for scans etc and prepare for basting?
I understand what you're feeling about the Dr's & Gynae's that treated you over the years. I felt very let down by the medical world when my Father was poorly and instinct was to nail someone down and make them apologise. Give it time my lovely and you'll move past that feeling of being ...cheated I guess is the word. You have the right attitude Polly. Keep focusing on what's about to happen and how fabulous it will be. I think women on here will all agree that once you've reached the goal the journey it took to get there is all forgotten.
If you need anyone to talk to about Clomid symptoms - you know where to come mi amigo xxxx

Emma - What are you & DH up to today? Did you manage to try any of his curry last night? My brother and his girlfriend came over last night. They're home from up North this weekend. They all ordered a chinese last night. I actually managed some rice and once I got used to it, the smell wasn't that bad.

Donna - Hey! - how are you doing? Up to much this weekend?

Check in again later xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - I'm so relieved to hear that there has been no more brown stuff. I read somewhere today that 40% of pg women get some brown or red stuff at some point, and almost all are absolutely fine.
You keep resting, my dear. perhaps you did a bit too much in the week?

When it came to dinner time, last night, I didn't fancy curry at all, but I forced myself to eat it because he'd gone to so much trouble. Once I started it was really nice, but I didn't eat much. Afterwards I came over all bloated, and felt like I was going to explode. I had to change out of my jeans into PJs I was so uncomfortable. I seem to be back to a normalish size today.

We went for a lovely walk in some National Trust woods over near Tring today - beautiful. I'd love to live in Tring, if only because the name is so funny! 
I'm very tired now though. I really should be tidying up the garden, but I haven't the energy. 

Donna, Polly - hope you are OK.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

went to a friends house last might and had to much to drink but feel fien today, had such a laugh! not good for ttc but being less stressed is so weighing it up at the moment I am not bothered bout going out 2 weeks in a row!

Polly, I am so excitied for you, its all starting next week - unless you have a BFP of course!   
As you have had IUI before you a spared my boring stories of my experiences as it would be like teaching you to suck eggs!  

Annie, you poor thing I hope you are ok. is it just brown spotting you have had? if so then I think that is less alarming. and as you haven't memtioned it I assume you have had no pain which is also a good sign.
If you are still worried go to gp tommorrow or a&e before if its really really worring you.

Emma, poor DH but I am sure he understood, hope you are haging a nice rest now after your walk.

Donna xx

ps I have given letters to a friend at work to give to all the parents of the children in my room so they know my side of what happened, i wouldn't want them to think bad of me or like everything I said to them was rubbish and I didn't really care about their children after all!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, glad that you sound calmer!
Thanks for the info about clomid. I also posted on the clomid chicks board (got to find new friends for when Donna gets her BFP!!!! ) and they also said to take it at night. (Sounds good, then if I need to work out my bad temper on DH I can claim no memory of it in the morning!!).

The whole process is fairly easy, as we are going to go for the basting no matter what, so there is no need for a baseline scan, and the only reason to stop the process is if we get too many follies. I need a day 8 scan to see about whether the ovulation can occur naturally or with a trigger, and that's it.Apart from the basting itself of course!

Donna, I might be a little apprehensive about the basting itself, as I said, there is a possibility that the cathether didn't actually get to my cervix last time, she got it through the septum, but there was another 3 cm of vagina behind that before the actual cervix, at which she was aiming quite blind. SHe said it went in the amount that she would expect, but who knows what it was doing, going through, curving back whatever (sorry, is that too gross?) So I'm not sure if I know the sensation of it going in or not. But I cant imagine that it is too bad really. Anyway, I'm glad that you had a good night out, and that you laughed! It's gotta help. I was talking to my mum about everything last night, and she recommended comedy films.    . Perhaps she's right. Everyone has an opinion about what would get you pg, and sex always seems quite far down the list  .

Emma, indian food always makes me feel huge as well, is this a new thing since Emma-cino appeared? I'm rather hoping that when I finish this very boring "diet" that I might tolerate it better, cos I do like it, and we have an Indian restuarant in the village. Very handy.

Well, I took DH to the airport this morning, and sent him off for 5 days, back on Friday. So the house will be a tip, and I'll be late for work every day. I'm so useless!!

So I'm going to have another lazy afternoon, and another chocolate rice cake (yum (yawn)) I do know how to live!

Love

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Afternoon All

God I am so bored. Currently watching a documentary on Young Royals. DH will be home from work in an hour - hoorah!

Pant Check Update - no more brown gunk/blood. Feet in the air must be working.

Polly - That does all sound relatively simple and with minimal intrusion. Gosh, how exciting. Please keep us posted won't you. Daily updates!

Donna - What a lovely idea to write a letter to the parents. I said a big aaahhh when I read that. I bet they'll really appreciate that as children do get attached to their carers. My Godchildren are/were in full time nursery and all they rave about is their "key workers". 
Your evening out last night sounds great. I find a bloody good laugh one of the best tonics when you've been feeling a bit down. Remind me again when you have interviews this week?

Emma - I would love a bit of fresh air right now. A walk in the woods sounds idyllic. Bet you are pooped now. I've done nothing all day and have been fighting the z's all afternoon. Keep thinking about doing the washing up, but it might not be good for me right? DH should do it when he gets home wouldn't you agree?  

Great to chat to you all. Bless you from saving me from complete boredom!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie - just done some research for you and all the evidence points to washing-up being Very Dangerous during the first nine months of pregnancy. Just tell DH that there's no need for him to waste his precious time checking because I did it for him!      . It looks as though it is the same advice for the first 18 years of child-rearing, but obviously I didn't want to get to far into that at this stage in my journey, but if I were you, I'd look into it as you get closer to the end of your pg... .

My lazy afternoon involves watching Friends on E4. Run right out of choc rice cakes, so I'm having a cup of tea with neat Green & Black dark choc. How daring am I?

Love 

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hello,

you are all so funny   had me laughing out loud.

I have interviews on tuesday at waterloo (but think that is too far to travel) and 1 10 mins away on wednesday. also still trying to arrange the other one that was postponed.

Going into work or should I say ex work tommrow to collect p45 and days money owed, when I spoke to owner last week he hinted he would offer me my job back but the manager is still there and I can't work with her, and its rumered that he has emplyed people since me and another girl walked out on tuesday.

Old manager is back from her hols tommorrow I have of course phoned her to fill her in on everything especially the fact she has been demoted while on holiday   

Polly, your day sounds fantastic cant say I haev done much myself, I've had a littel sleep and can't even blame that on being pregnant. you dodn't need to find us you will always have us  

with regards IUI both times I had it as it went through my cervix and into my womb I felt light cramps like period pain. for my 2nd IUI they gave me an ultrasound so I could see it going in, it was amazing all I saw was a flash but feeling teh cramps at the same time it made it feel so much more real. Maybe they would give you an ultrasound at the same time it makes sense and its not like thay don't have the equiptment!

Annie I am glad you are clamer, I had a thought that mayber as the blood is brown (indicating old blood) that maybe some was disturbed during the scan?? I really don't think you have anything to worry about though, will you be seeing gp to put your mind at rest? or maybe phone nhs direct just thought of that.

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Oh, you have all made me laugh!   Why didn't I think of that with the washing up, ironing, vacuuming etc. 

OOh, dinner is ready. Got to go.

Emma, xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I'm back. 

Donna - whatever you do don't let your old employer talk you into going back! You are way too good for that place and don't need the stress.
Waterloo Station freaks me out - all those people in suits scurrying at high speed. It has to be my least favourite of all the London stations.
I'm glad you had another good night out. Once a week won't do any harm at all, and might even do you good. 

Polly - I have a major weakness for Green & Black chocolate too. I prefer milk myself, but dark will do in an emergency (and it is practically health food too). I hide mine behind flour at the back of the kitchen cupboards so dh won't find it. 
You sound very excited and positive about the IUI - good for you! I'm still hoping you won't need it after all. 
Has dh gone somewhere exciting? What an international jetsetter! Does that mean he'll still be away on Thursday (that is the day af is due, isn't it)?
You could be right about Indian food, although it never used to happen. I feel a little bloated tonight after eating a sort of Irish stew, but nothing like as bad as yesterday.

Annie - no walks for you yet, my dear. What you need are some more Dawson's Creek DVDs. I'm working my way through the West Wing series 5 at the moment, and there is the complete series 6 box set to come yet. Are you going to see a GP tomorrow?

Take care everyone, and sweet dreams,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh God I am in a jumbo state of panic. Feel a bit wet down there today and there is discharge and it is a brownish colour again. 

I don't feel particularly pregnant today either. Don't know what I am thinking being sat here at work. Think I'm going to have to confess to the Deputy, go home and wait to see my GP or call the Early Pregnancy Unit and see if they'll take another look at me.

I am so so scared


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Annie 

_Please_ tell your boss and then call the EPU. I'm sure it will turn out to be fine, but you need be checked out. You'll go crazy otherwise.

It could be that you feel less pg because you've been resting over the wekend, and because your body is adjusting to the shock now.

My heart really goes out to you this morning. Please, please, please go now.

Emma, xxxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I am hoping you wont read this because you have already left Annie. If not then please please leave work and go to gp or hospital to put your mind at rest. All this worrying will not do you or the baby any good, sorry I am not having a go at you but worry yourself silly wont help hun. please go and get yourself checked out so you can relax and enjoy you pregnancy again.
I can't imagine how you must be feeling   

Polly and Emma how are you?

arranged another interview for tommorrow so have 2 tommorrow now. 2nd one is for a deputy job which would be fantastic so we'll see.

Off to work later to collect p45 

Annie I'll check in later to see how you are xx

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello again,

Annie - just popped back to see if there is any news. I too am hoping that you aren't reading this because you're being checked out somewhere or are at home resting. As Donna rightly says, stress and worry are the last things you need. Not good for you or Annie junior.

Donna - big day tomorrow. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. I hope they like you and you like them! I hope it went OK when you went to get your P45 - hope they weren't horrible to you.

I am definitely losing the plot. I just went to the supermarket. I had to take a bit of a detour because of roadworks, but along a route I've used many times before. So why oh why did I find myself on the M25, driving merrily towards Stanstead airport! I don't think I should be allowed out. 

Emma, xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - hope you are OK. I'm getting worried now..........


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Evening all,

Annie I do hope you are ok?? bit concerned we haven't heard from you

Finally saw employer tonight and he brought manager with him! she was again very rude so I apologised and told him I wouldn't be coming back becasue of the attitide he had just witnessed!
Spoke to deputy and apparently he really wanted me back as parents have been complaining, so why didn't he just say that there was no need to bring HER with him! hay ho done now on wards and upwards!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Oh Donna! What an idiot employer!!! You'll be in a better job by the end of the week I'm sure. You never told us what DH said about you leaving, was he supportive?

Annie - what's happening? We need to know, this is getting worrying.

Emma - so I wonder where you thought you were going? Did you have your passport with you?!!! 

I feel like saying this will jinx it, but I have felt constantly nauseous since last Thursday, about 7 days dpo. I'm sure that it is far too early to really be a good sign, and it is counteracted by some spotting, but .... what do y'all think?

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Polly, wow this is so exciting, spotting could also be a   sign! fingers crossed for you ooooh I am so excited keep us posted!

Annie how are you?

Yes polly DH is being supportive as ever, he does wish I hadn't walked out though because of money but fully understands why I did. He knows what I am like and I wouldn't be the person he married if i'd stayed and let them treat me like that its not who I am!

Donna xx

Emma lol at you driving to m25!! prehaps it was your body telling you need a holiday


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh Polly - sounds promising! You've never mentioned nausea before af in other months. I know you can't get your hopes up yet, but....
I definitely had nausea from around the time af was due - I assumed that I had eaten something that disagreed with me or had a bug of some sort - so I don't see why you couldn't have it a few days before. Try standing near a Chinese takeaway/kebab van/someone frying fish and see if the nausea gets worse. If so it could well be m/s.
I am so excited now. Roll on Thursday!         

Donna - thank goodness you are now rid of that place. I too am sure that someone will have snapped you up before the week is out. I hope your interviews go really well tomorrow. Knock 'em dead!   

Annie -    Hope you're OK, wherever you are and whatever you're doing.

Has anyone been watching 'Bodies' - BBC drama about a gynaecology ward? For some reason I find it compulsive viewing (as was the last series) but it _really_ freaks me out.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - think you're right about the holiday. I've just been looking through some brochures for country cottage holidays this evening and daydreaming. Don't think we'll be going anywhere for a long time, if ever again!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - I sometimes have a bit of nausea before af, but not like this. I don't feel like I'm actually going to be sick, although the waves get worse when I am near food, but I'm fine while I eat. I'm a bit picky about what I'm eating though (within the narrow range of things I am eating!). I've also been a bit headachy which is odd, as I rarely have headaches, just straight to migraine. But I don't like the spotting.

However, it's got to be too early for these symptoms to be meaningful. I can't test while DH is away, anyway. 

WHERE IS ANNIE THIS IS GETTING V WORRYING.  

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY!!! I'm so mean to you guys!

Well went to see GP and he made me feel a bit nuerotic. I was welling up and telling him how scared I was and his response was "well, that's normal". But how was I to know that!!!!! He reckons the brown discharge is the result of the new acids down there causing more wetness and sometimes it's a browner colour.

I'm still not feeling particularly relieved by that information. I had a friend who had a miscarriage this year and that started off as brown discharge. 

Guess I'm going to be driving you guys crazy with daily/hourly/minute pant checks and analysis!

Donna - Very best of luck with your interviews today!!!

Emma - M25? What are you like?

Polly - Sounds very promising. Keeping everything crossed for you xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Oh Annie you poor thing I guess you wont every really relax untill your lil one is born but I do up the gp put your mind at rest and you will no relax a little.

Polly sounds promissing but don't want to get your hopes up, we will have to see what hapens if anything on thursday.

I haven't had time to think about it but now that I do I guess I do feel a little crampy but fully expecting af at the weekend so thats obsoultly fine, only had bms once and I know it only takes one but come on I am really not that hopefully or lucky!

Will be out most of teh day dashing from one intervirew to the other, I do hope they go well
I will try to check in later

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - thank goodness you are OK. I was beginning to get very worried. Phew...... It is very easy for these medical people to say that things are normal, but if you've never been pg before how would you know? (How would he know, being a man?).
Did you tell your boss what was going on?

Got to dash. Chappie from new estate agents is coming round this morning to take pictures. I need to make everything perfect.

Back later,
Emma, xxxxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

The Boss is back on Thursday and I think this is the 1st and last time you'll hear me say this, but I can't wait. She may be many things but I have to give her a gold star for situations like this. She was phenomenal when I lost my Dad. 

I'll feel so relieved when she knows and that if anything hapens I can tell her and leave without feeling guilty or making up some weird and wonderful excuse.

My reason for running out the door at 09:20 yesterday was that I had earache. That the Dr said that wax had built up as a result of the "flu" I had. He so say cleaned me up and gave me some drops. 

It's scary how good I am at telling little white lies.

Did I mention I'm going away this weekend? It's my annual weekend away at Centerparcs. I cannot wait!!!!! Although I cannot do any of the things I usually love to indulge in, such as - Water rapids, water slides, jacuzzi, massages in the spa etc. Still, it'll be a great weekend away with my friends.

Emma - Can we see piccies of the house once they're ready?

Donna - Go get em girl!!!! 

Polly - how are you feeling today?


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Phew Annie!!! Glad that everything is ok. I know you can't help worrying, but at least you know that it's a neutral sign.

As for me: temp dropped this morning, feel much less sick, and still spotting. So I think that it was all this stupid body-playing-tricks stuff again. Never mind, I'll drive you all mad with every little symptom during my 4-5 mnths on IUI.

Still keeping my fingers crossed for you Donna, I just thought - what if it's not ME being away that led to the other two BFP, but my DH being away....and spookily enough, as you know, he's away at the mo.

Emma, hope the new pics work.

Love

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh Polly - I'm still keeping things crossed as it ain't over yet and hoping your DH being away does bring on another BFP for the Vag Gang and if IUI does happen I insist you do tell us every symptom/twinge/temp rise etc. I wanna know everything!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again!

Annie - not so much a little white lie, as great whopping fib! I read somewhere (pregnancy website, maybe) that Centerparcs do a special spa package for pg women. Do your friends all know?

Yes, you can see piccies of the house when they're done. I could put a link to the existing agent, but I don't think their pictures are very good or do the house justice (perhaps that is why we haven't sold yet ). Mind you, I think it is bad to have pictures which are too good. I looked round a house that looked fabulous in the pictures, and came as a real disappointment in the flesh (in the brick?).

Donna - hope you got on OK. Can't wait to hear your news.

Polly - don't worry too much about your temp drop. Perhaps it is the cold weather?! It would be lovely to think that your dh was some kind of babydust fairy, bringing magic whenever he travelled. If so you'll have to send him on holiday for Donna's sake too.
I too cannot wait to hear every last detail of your IUI treatment, if you need it at all.

I feel lousy today. I was sick this morning and have felt nauseous and tired all day. I'm sure a lot of it is from never getting a decent night's sleep. I haven't slept through the night properly even once in the past 5 weeks. Poor dh - I really snapped at him this morning for singing in the shower. I'm going to go and lie down on the sofa with a nice cup of tea and a mince pie and watch a girlie film.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma!

Sorry you were sick this morning.That's unusual for you to feel so poorly. Perhaps baby is having a growth spurt right now?
Can't wait to see the piccies. How about links to both the old and new piccies? Then we can compare and contrast!!! Hmmm mince pie! That sounds rather pleasant. What movie are you watching? I did know about the Spa at Centerparcs, but you have to over 12 weeks  

Donna - How did it go?? I'm dying to hear all about it. Did you get offered jobs on the spot?

Polly - how has your day been?


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Annie how are you feeling today?

Polyl don't give up although I know only to well what trickes our bodies can play on us, really hope you don't need IUI. when Annie booked an appointment she fell pregnant so maybe you'll do the same??   
ummmm maybe I should book some IUI for luck    hopefully your DH is throughing baby dust my direction- and your of course.

Emma, maybe if you've been busy today with estate agents that contributed to m/s? so i order you to do NOTHING tommorrow  

Right as for me First interview went really well in waterloo I will here about it tommorrow but she kept saying things like ' when you get the job oh I mean if ' so quite hopefull there.
Second interview was much closer to home and a deputy posistion and ................ they offered me the job there and then!  
Said I would think about it and let them know tommorrow.

Thing is first nursery is a much better nursery but second nursery is offering me a better position but I don't want to go from one rubbish place to another.
Money in first is only 500 mor eper yesr than what I am on now which wont cover travell expenses, second job is offering 2k more a year after 3 months probation.

Basically First is a better nursery but I'll only be a nursery nurse with the possibilty of room leader, money is rubbish when you take into travelling and I'd be travelling for about 1 hour max each way!
Second job is a smaller nursery that looks alittle run down, job is better and money is better hours are also shorter and its bout 20min from my house. I don't get sick pay but get more holiday.

Weighing it up I think I know I am going to take the deputy job the only thing worrying me and please don't get me wrong but I'll be the only white member of staff and when I looked round today no one said hello!

Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you think? someone make the descision for me? and do I go to interview tommorrow

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Donna - well done! I knew they'd want to snap you up!    
That is a tough choice to make. I'd try and put it out of your mind until after tomorrow's interview. You should *definitely* go to that one. They might offer better money, sick pay, promotion prospects, less travelling _and _ lovely colleagues. You have nothing to lose by checking it out.
In the end you have to go with your gut instinct, I reckon.

Annie - the mince pie was very good, and the accompanying Pringles too. What a healthy diet. No wonder I feel the size of a bus.
I ended up watching Four Weddings and a Funeral, for the umpteenth time (and crying, of course). Still feel yucky though.

Tomorrow I am sort of going to do nothing. I am supposed to be editing some articles for a Japanese professor (in English, I hasten to add). I've had the stuff for days, done next to nothing, and the deadline is fast approaching. OK, its not really doing nothing, but all I have to do is sit by the PC all day, so what's new.

Polly - hope you are OK, and still without af. Is the nausea any worse?

Have a lovely evening people,
Emma, xxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi

Well done Donna!   Deffo go for the other interview, could be so perfect that you don't want the other two, or it might help make you decide. Do you think that the one that offered you a job work on the basis that with good and well paid staff the surroundings aren't so important (hence looking a little run down) Or maybe the decorating is due to be done next week? Anyway, as deputy, won't you have some say in how the place should be run? 

2k is enough to make a difference, plus it's the promotion you wanted/deserve, and the travel will be so much easier when you are suffering from fatigue and m/s. As I understand it, no-one offers seat to pg women when they really need it, because it doesn't show. You would need to get promotion fairly quickly in the other place to not resent the less money and further travel!

Listen to me - I'm a bossy cow!

The thing about being the only white worker ... it's hard not to feel a bit out of place when everyone else seems to share something in common and you don't, but if you were the only black worker when everyone was white, it would be the same. If a single black worker coming into a situation where you worked was quiet and kept herself to herself, and didn't make the effort, due to feeling a bit out of place (and even in our multicultural society, that happens more often than your potential situation),  then it could easily be miscontrued as being a bit stand-offish and unfriendly, when it wasn't. After all, we all feel the same emotions whatever our skin colour or ability or whatever. So you might need to make the extra bit of effort to overcome your feeling of being seen as different, but you'll soon make friends and get on with people well. The chances are so much higher that people didn't say hello because you were being interviewed, not because you are white!

Emma, don't link to your house pics on the site here, it'd be like giving everyone your address, and you know that anyone in the world can see what we say here. If you are going to do it, send the links to us, like we did with the pics. What are you like eating mince pies at this time of year??   (I'm only jealous) Do you find Pringles addictive? DH and I think they are, as we can eat boxes of them, and then really go off for a while through having eaten too many. 

Annie, you sound more relaxed today. I had to laugh about your "earache". I am due to go back to my bike club tonight (first step, go back to bike club and drink tea, second step, get on bike and go for cycle! Not necessarily in the same month) as they have all been looking for me. I told them in May that I had a respiratory virus to buy time to have the op and recover, and I have to admit to being over it now. The thing is that I really need to buy a new bike, as someone nearly always has to hammer a bit back on for me when we go out on a club run, but I am reluctant in case I get pg. The c/s said he didn't think that it would make a difference to getting pg, (but then he hasn't seen some of the hills we go up!), and it is always good to get exercise.   On the other hand, if it wasn't my fate to get pg til Feb, it would be worth doing. But you can also understand that I am reluctant to go out on my current bike in case another bit falls off!

I still feel a bit icky, but not as bad, and the spotting has increased, so af might be tomorrow. On the other hand, I bought 2 hpts today. I had reflexology this afternoon, and we both agreed that my feet felt different. Maybe it's the exclusions from my diet.....

Who knows??

Anyway, I'd better go to bike club   and meet my fate. 

Love

Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Polly 2 HPT you go girl I really really hope you will be needing them you deserve a BFP most out of all of us! not that Annie and Emma you don't deserve it but you know what I mean, god I have a habbit of digging my own grave!  

Emma how are you feeling now?

Annie how are you? any more spotting?

Think I have decided to take the deputy job cause even if I don't like the nursery for what ever reason it is still a promotion! and I'd be silly not to take it and go for another job that was a step back.
Plus its more money and thats not to be sneezed at!
The nursery might be really nice when I get in there and the only way to find out is to GO FOR IT! if I don't I know I'll regret it and I'd rather regret tacking the job than not! plus I 'll have deputy on my cv and can move onwards and upwards if needed.

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi

this is a complete me me me me me post

I am feeling so absolutely pants this morning. I managed to get up on time, and was in danger of even getting to work on time, but I think I've blown that now. I've just been sitting here reading everything on th net about ttc, and not getting pg, and I have made myself so miserable.     It makes no sense, there are never going to be any answers and I am not going to get pg any faster or better by surfing, but I almost feel addicted.

No spot this morning when I got up, but I guess I don't want to go and get ready for work in case I find something I don't want to. Feel quite af-ish, so it's inevitable. And my temp chart has decided after all that I didn't o this month. I don't believe it, but it p's me off that it has the nerve....

Better mop off the keyboard and go and put some clothes on....

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

aaahhh Polly. Let me give you a huge cyber hug   Step away from those websites with all that negativity and listen to us. You will get pg. It may take a bit longer than you'd like, but it is going to happen. You need to start believing this and stop searching for answers on sites that are all doom and gloom. It's a wonder anyone manages it when you read them!

Chuck that temp chart away, you don't need that anymore. Clomid is going to make sure you ovulate so no need to rely on any silly chart that only makes you worry more.

If you're feeling really pants, call in sick. I know that to someone such as yourself that may sound a shocking thing to do, but honestly - sit on your sofa with a bar of choccie and talk to me & Emma all day.

It's really going to be alright my lovely xxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Annie

Too late with that suggestion - i'm here now! The next thing is whether I get any work done! Are you off work then? So do you mean that you and Emma chatroom all day? Now that would be worth staying off work for, although I could do it at work as long as I set up a hot key to change the screen when I hear someone coming!

Had a bit of a tearful girlie chat with my one female member of staff who is a bit older than me and going through a tough time at the mo with mp, and she knows what we are doing too. I recommended my reflexologist to her, and she went yesterday too, so we had a catch up with how we both were and had a few tears. At least girls know why other girls cry - boys just don't get it, do they? We also had a bit of a happy cry about another member of staff who made a great leap forward in personal development yesterday, so we have an excuse if we look a bit red-eyed!

Not sure about not temping - I'll have to give that one abit of a thought. I find it theoretically useful in terms of knowing when af is due, but it would have been more useful when I was younger and more erratic.

Anyway, gotta do something useful...

Thanks for the hug!

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly sorry you are feeling down, AF may not arrive you just don't know and I know that is the hardest thing of all.
IF AF arrives and its a big IF think positive that you are moving to IUI, with IUI and clomid you will know for sure that you are ovulating and thats its all happening at the right time.
I have to read ttc websites and DH had now baned me as I tells you do 1 thing or use this position but then another tells you thats the wrong position bla bla and its true nobody really knows and what works to get you preg probably wont work for me and visa versa. All the sites say that women on top is the worst bms postion and some say the chances of getting pregnant that way are slim to none! when I read that I got very upset as its the only position I can do! but spoke to my friend whi is 38wks pregnant and she said that she conceived with her on top 100% cause thats all they do - so what do these sites know eh??

Hope my rambellings made you feel better I can never get things across how I want to say them!
DH will be home soon and I am sure he will give you lots of tlc and he better of got you a present from his travels or don't let him in! 

Annie and Emma how are you feeling?

Well............. called job back and excepted this morning so you are now talking to a deputy manager of a Day nursery! Just hope I am up to the job really scared now! what if after my 3 month trial the tell me to go?
I can still carry on with my NVQ in management so that should help.
Hope none of you thought I was being racist yesterday cause I didn't mean it at all like that just feel a little intimidated.

going for 2 days induction next week (which I am not sure if they are paid or not?) then start week after so means another week with out money! 

Just need to get pregnant now!

Donna xx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I had a sneaky feeling you'd slip through my fingers and go into work! Sounds like it might have been the right thing to do. Do you feel any better for talking to your colleague?

Nope, we don't go in chat room. I can't access it from work. I just meant that generally we're both able to log on a fair few times in the day! I certainly take a break and check every 30-60 minutes for posts!

I'm at work today. Already got through a bag of hula hoops and 3 Jaffa cakes! 

I'll be around all day if you need me xxxx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Oh Polly - have a   from me too. These websites are very bad for your health and do make me wonder how anyone ever manages with ttc or how any baby makes it through the 9 months to birth. I stopped looking at them myself because they were freaking me out and making me tearful. 
I am so sorry that you think it hasn't worked this month, but it isn't over yet. You will get there in the end, even if it takes a few goes at IUI. Donna was quite right - you definitely deserved to have the bfp 1st.
At least dh will be back tomorrow to take care of you and give you a proper  
I read somewhere that the average woman cried 60 times a year, and the average man only 14.

On a totally different subject, I was never going to put the link to house piccies on here. I must have written whatever I did write unclearly  I'll send you a PM as and when they are done. I get paranoid sometimes that everyone who know me reads this site and knows my life story; I'm certainly not going to put a picture of the front of the house to confirm that it is me!

Donna - good luck with your interview today.  I hope you do go. I think you are right to take the Deputy job. An extra 2K, less travelling, and promotion are not to be sniffed at.

Annie - hope you are OK today. No more spotting or brown stuff? 

I had a bit of a scare last night. I was out walking my dogs and another dog came hurtling out of nowhere and knocked me over. I felt really shaken up and was so scared that it would bring on a miscarriage. Sorry, I sound like a real old drama queen. I've been going to the bathroom all the time since to check for any signs of bleeding. I'm sure it will be fine, but I can't help worrying.

I really should go know.
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Donna & CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Well done on becoming Deputy. This is going to be such a great new challenge for you. I am so pleased for you. This is what you've been needing for so long now. I bet you'll feel a different person once you get stuck in.I think you'll find you will get paid for induction work.

Yipee!!!!!!

P.S - I always go on top


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Thanks everyone. DH isn't back til Friday am, I'll have time to go and fetch him and then get back into London for a lunch. I think that I will have to test Fri am, whether af starts or not. I'm a bit paranoid about being one of those people who have an apparant af while pg, and I don't want to start the clomid without a bfn. BTW Donna, where DH has gone, I really don't want a present from!

Am sitting here bursting to go to the loo, but don't want to go, cos it's difficult to avoid a pants check!

Donna - I'm sure you made the right decision, and I really hope that you will be happy there - I _know_ you'll be successful! Congratulations on becoming a Deputy - you will wow them.

If women only cry 60 times a year, I must be due at least ten years with no tears!

Emma, sorry if I was being presumptious and bossy about the house details - I could made my point without making it sound like I thought you really would. Sorry!

Ugh I hate dogs like that! Why do they think they have a right to bounce and drool all over total strangers? I hope that you feel better now, and that no harm has come of it. Nasty shock though!

I'm beginning to realise that I'm a bit exclamation-mark-mad today (maybe always) Maybe I'm trying to overcompensate for feeling so miserable. I really could cry over a dropped smartie today. 

Love
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

see theres proof websites are rubbish! they tell you being on top is useless but 2 people have BFP! Polly step away from the computer 

Following you converstion yesterday about pringles, have you eaten cadbury snaps there the equivalent of pringles but made of chocolate! very addictive!

I have decided not to go to interview this afternoon it will only confuse me and I haev taken the deputy job now anyway.

do you usually get tearfull when af is due polly? cause if not it could be a postive sign? 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello again,

Donna - I think our posts overlapped this morning, so apologies for talking at cross-purposes. Congratulations on taking the deputy job.     I didn't think you were being racist at all, by the way.
I will keep Cadbury's Snaps in mind next time I get a chocolate craving, but I am right off chocolate at the moment after a few too many slices of chocolate cake last week. Today I am very keen on Special K - bizarely healthy, I know. I ate a bowl, expecting to hate it, and then just had to have another one.

Donna - one of my ttc books says that being on top or underneath makes no difference to the likelihood of conceiving, but makes a difference to the sex of the child. Supposedly, having the woman on top is more likely to result in a girl (and the woman underneath in a boy). We will see.....
I am so impressed with you on top people - I really struggle with that. We've managed it once or twice, but more often than not 'it' has come out. 

Polly - you weren't being bossy at all. Well, perhaps slightly, but with the best of intentions!  I for one love your bossy/decisive side.

Annie - did you tell your boss your news today?

Back later,
Emma, xxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Emma - sorry I must have overlapped with you this morning! Sorry to hear about that dog knocking you over. I bet you were petrified! Was there an owner around to shout at  

The Boss is back tomorrow - hooray! I'm going to try and get in early and grab her before she goes off to a meeting or something!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - Owner of said dog was some distance away. I was too shaken up and wanting to go home to hang around to shout at him. I am having a lot of twinges today. I hope that is because baby daffodil is growing away, and nothing more sinister. No major nausea today though. Don't knoww if that is good or bad. 

Just realised I was being dim asking about your boss. Today is Wednesday, not Thursday. Doh!

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm sure it is just stretching pains Emma. If they continue to worry you though, go and get yourself checked over. Just to be safe and to put your mind at rest. 

Well I have another dilemma. "Not again" I hear you say, but alas yes.

In short: Best friend announced her engagement last night. Yipe, fab news. Turns out that they are also eloping to Vegas in 4 weeks and have had it all planned for 6 months. I found out today from a mutual acquaintance who happened to go home at lunch time and find her invite to the after party on her mat. Now then - myself, bride to be and other friend have known each other since the age of 10 and the 2 of us were pretty upset to hear this news from someone else and that she's kept it a secret from us for all this time and she's getting married withput us. How could she, we share everything right? right?

Dilemma  - I'm keeping a secret too aren't I!!!! And was planning to keep it that way til week 12. I've also told other people before my 2 oldest friends. My Boss will even know before them and they know I don't hold her in the highest of regards. 

So do I spill the beans because I am now the worlds biggest hypocrite or do I tell them and rain on Bride 2 Be's parade after she's waited years for this to happen

As always your advice and guidance is much appreciated - Polly - tell me what to do!!!!!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I am soooo bored, waiting for my printer to print pages and pages of stuff. 

Annie - I'm going to consider your dilemma now (I've never known someone face dilemmas on such a regular basis ). I'm sure Polly's advice will be better though  - hee, hee!

Am I right in thinking that you only told people about your situation because circumstances forced your hand e.g. spending an evening with people who would notice that you were being sick every 5 minutes? You're only going to tell your boss so that she'll understand why you might need time off at short notice and why your hours have been a bit erratic. Provided none of the people you have told ever meet the best friends you haven't told, I'd leave it that way. If you feel happier waiting until 12 weeks, go with that. I reckon they'll understand. If there is any danger that they could find out from someone else it might be best to tell them yourself 1st.

Could it be that the friends wedding announcement was something similar. Perhaps she had to tell some people in order to explain why she couldn't attend something or other? Likewise, it may not have been a deliberate policy to 'not tell Annie' but that she is so caught up in the heat of the moment and the excitement of it all that she wasn't thinking clearly or prioritising who she should tell and in which order. 

In the grand scheme of things, will it really matter about who told who, what and when, and will you even remember several months down the line?

Only my thoughts.........

It is hard not to tell anyone about the baby thing. It is amazing how many times it would be really easy to drop it into conversation. I have been emailing a couple of good friends from uni today, and really wanted to tell them, but stopped myself. Too scared of it all going wrong.

I will try not to worry too much about twinges. I'm off to the hospital tomorrow for my 1st midwife appointment. As far as I can tell it is blood tests to check for HIV and syphilis - I'm assuming I'll get the all clear on that score!

Polly - has the day got any better or worse?

Donna - what are you doing with yourself now that the job-hunting is over?

Bye for now,
Emma


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm going to assume you're alright on the syphilis front too Emma     Just mention your knock to the midwife tomorrow so she can examine you.

Thanks for you advice on my latest drama. You are right about the fact that I've only told people who have wtinessed morning sickness and the Boss will know because of any future short notice absences. I'll have a chat with DH tonight about it but I'd still like to hold on another couple of weeks at least before telling them. 

Friends wedding announcement wasn't quite the same. Seems they didn't account for mail arriving at different times of the day and people going home in their lunch hours! They assumed post would all arrive late in the morning when most are at work and that we'd all get them when we got home tonight. Best laid plans gone horrible wrong it seems. I got over it quick enough. It's her day after all!

Off home now. Check back in upon my return!


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Evening

Just as well I had to have a meeting this afternoon, otherwise nothing would have got done. 

Bad news is   is definitely here.   So what WAS all that feeling sick about? So p*ssed off.  .

Can see my niece, mum and SIL on yahoo, but none of them are talking to me. DH still away, but did great business (texting is the best invention) today, so he'll be ringing later all full of himself, and all I want to do is cry and cry and cry. Feel SO sorry for myself. Somebody give me a good bossing please!
 

Are you over your dilemma Annie? Or do you still want advice?

Emma, glad you are seeing someone tomorrow anyway - tell them about the fall, won't you?

Donna - hope you are enjoying being off now that you have a job to go to

Lov
Polly


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Heelllooo,

Annie is wedding dilema sorted now or do you still need advice?

Emma first midwife appintment how exciting  

Polly I don't want to boss you around cause thats not what you need but I perscribe lots of Chocolate maybe a glass of wine but not sure if you can have it on you diet? and definalty A day off work tommorrow to go shopping! now thats an order! - sorry not very good at being bossy! will have to practice though for new job 

seriously, its understandable that you are feeling tearfull and you have to allow yourself to feel that way so you feel better and you will feel better just look how I was a few weeks ago, you all helped me through that and I hope I can do the same.
You can now start the clomid, and move on to more positive things that will hopefully bring you the BFP you deserve.

I hope you feel better tommorro first day of AF is always the worst whether you are expecting it or not, we are always here for you and you don't always have to be the strong one full of wisdom so you just remember you can lean on us to.

Maybe DH can get you a present from the airport

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Well, I ended up having long chat with SIL and my mum on yahoo and my niece is now on moaning that her mum won't let her come down and see the Lad this weekend.  Shame really, as I am helping him move home, and he could do with the extra set of muscles. (she's probably got more than him anyway).

Donna, thanks for the choccy idea, I did think about the wine, but I make such a fuss about DH not drinking that I shouldn't while he is away. Although he did confess to a beer last night. Truth is, if I opened a bottle, I just might drink it all, and I'm afraid I can't take the day off tomorrow, much as I might want to. (or have to!)

I feel a bit better this evening now, thanks for all your support. 

Hope it goes well tomorrow Emma!

Love
Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone

Thanks for the advice and offers for advice yesterday. I'm getting over it now. Too tired to give a damn today!

Polly - I am so sorry AF arrived. I think Donna had the best cure of chocolate. The body needs the endorphins right now! How are you feeling today. Anything nice planned for the weekend?

Donna - Morning my lovely! How are you doing?

Emma - Best wishes for the midwife today x


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Polly - I am so sorry that af turned up.   Do things feel any better today? Have you started taking the Clomid, or is that tonight? It may not be much consolation, but at least you can start on plan B (IUI) now. Chocolate, and lots of it, is definitely in order. If you can't have a day off work you should have a really indulgent evening - pampering, long bath, chocolate and a good film.

Why are you helping the lad to move? Do you do that for all your employees? What a boss! 
Why won't SIL let DN come down? Is she trying to discourage the relationship?

Annie - glad you feel better about things today. Ready to face the next dilemma that life throws at you!

Donna - hope you have something nice planned for today.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Bound to be another one Emma! My life isn't complete if I'm not having a fortnightly crisis!


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Annie - just spotted you over on 'Bun in the Oven'. I'm still to scared to join in there, although I often read the posts.
I'm off to shave my legs and make myself beautiful for the midwife.


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Oh no Emma, I haven't "joined" that thread. I just wanted to ask a question about m/s. I'm more than happy with the support I'm getting from my good friends here xxxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Are you the girls whose thread I've tracked through to here from your January entries (which I found through an internet search this morning) where you talk about vaginismus?

Looks like I also have this (doc advised yesterday after incredibly painful speculum exam, although I already knew).  Will expand on this if I'm in the right place and you're ok to listen.

Thanks,

Claire


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Claire

can't stay on long as I'm at work, but welcome, glad u found us. Don't know if we're "them", but we are us and a very friendly bunch. I assume that you are ttc at the mo, or hope to be?

Hope to hear more from you.

Polly


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Claire

It sounds like we're just the people you're looking for! We'd absolutely love to help if we can xxx


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

I think you mean trying to conceive by ttc?  No, not at the moment, need to sort out the vag problem first, but yes I am desperate for a baby, have been for a few years (I'm 30).

My story is had sex at 17 once, was ok, but decided to wait for the right person as I was too young.  At 25, met someone I thought was nice, started sexual relations but I developed cervicitis (from bacteria) almost immediately and the sex was very painful with bleeding.  The 'nice' bloke promptly dumped me.  I then had an incredibly painful smear test to investigate the bleeding that had me practically climbing the walls and there was a lot of blood present etc. from the cervicitis.  Since then, I've associated speculums and sex with blood and pain and had been avoiding relationships of more than a few dates by walking away.

I've now met someone really nice (genuinely so, this time!) and realise I need to sort this out.  I bravely booked a speculum exam for yesterday to see if the pain would still occur.  Unfortunately it did with some bleeding as well (but there's nothing wrong inside, and no STIs etc.), and the doc and nurse both said that it was vaginismus and I was too tense/tight hence the pain/bleeding (and that it was probably because of my other sex/speculum experiences).  I was ok with the speculum insertion (it was a normal size one not a small one) but the intense pain started when they opened it and my muscles froze.  I feel the same way about sex, but luckily my boyfriend is happy to take things slow.  (He doesn't know the extent of the problem yet, I'm working up to it).  

I know these things take time so I'm going to try and take steps to sort it out.  I have some vag dilators I bought on the internet a while ago (anticipating this) and can use the 2nd one (of 4, can't remember the sizes but the 4th one is penis size) which I could work with.  The nurse suggested a psychosexual counsellor but I'm not sure how I get referred to one.  My GP knows nothing of this, I went to a GUM clinic to ensure confidentiality i.e. avoid meeting my parents in the waiting room, or telling the doc who's known me since birth!

Following on from that, with this chap or a.n.other if he's not the right one, I am desperate to have a baby (ttc?) or three.  Just at the moment seems impossible.  Been quite tearful and not sleeping over it all, and only have one girlfriend I can confide in (she's being great but doesn't know how I feel).  So no not ttc at the moment but this is the closest I've come to finding people who might understand or could advise me what to do for the best next.

Sorry it's so long, and hope it's not too much detail.  If you can't help, let me know and I'll keep looking.

Claire


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Claire pleased to hear from you please join us we are a very friendly bunch who support each other loads. And we have achieved 2 BFP!

Not up to much went to job centre  today as want to see I f can claim anything to the few weeks I haven't been working - god I hate that place.

I must do some house work tommorrow! went shopping and bought some new work clothes! I have to look smart  really couldn't afford them as already over drawn   got some of the cutest baby clothes for my brother and my friend who are expecting!

Polly hop you are feeling better?

Emma how was midwife?

Annie how are you feeling


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello Claire. Yes, I think we are them! Welcome! You are _definitely_ in the right place. This is so weird - last night I dreamt that someone new would join us on here today. I also dreamt (separate dream) that I had a knitting needle fight (waggling them at each other like swords) with someone, but lets hope that one doesn't come true. I don't own any knitting needles, so I should be safe. Sorry, not trying to scare you off.

We all had vaginismus, to some extent, earlier in the year (although Polly's case is a little bit different) but we have all managed to overcome it largely though the support and encouragement we have been able to give each other. Your experience sounds horrific - poor you. You have done very well to get onto the 2nd dilator. Even if you don't think so at the moment, if you can manage number 2 it is only a matter of time until you manage 3 and 4.

Generally, you do have to get a GP referral to see a psychosexual counsellor. I saw one, and although I had severe doubts about the whole process at the start (and occasionally later on) I'd heartily recommend it. I have faced up to lots of stuff in my past and learnt so much about myself. The only problem was that the waiting lists are horrendous - 10 months from GP referral to 1st appointment for me.

If you really can't see your GP, there are a couple of alternatives. Someone on another vaginismus chat site strongly recommended Relate (relationship counselling people). Apparently they often treat people with vag. You do have to pay, but there are no waiting lists. The only downside is that only do talking, whereas a psychosexual counsellor - who is also a qualified doctor - will do physical examinations and will help you to either insert dilators or fingers there and then (sounds horrific but it is confidence boosting). Alternatively, you can get in touch with the Female Sexual Disfunction Association (I think that is the name, but I'll check). They sent me a list of doctors in my are who treated vag., and some of them allow patients to self-refer (although you may have to pay to see them).

Couldn't the GUM clinic refer you to the counsellor? The one I used to see was based in a GUM at the local hospital.

Hope that helps a bit. I'll be back as and when I think of anything else.  Hope you'll be back soon.

Annie, Polly, Donna - hello to you too!

Seeing the midwife was fine, if rather lengthy (1.5 hours). It mainly involved taking a medical history, a lot of bureaucracy, blood tests, and a urine test. I didn't have to take my clothes off or be poked and prodded at all. I am so shocked at how much weight I have put on in the past few weeks. Don't think I'll ever be small again. I have to go back next week to see the consultant who was treating me for the vag, just routine I think.

Hope you are all OK. Shopping sounds good Donna!

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Claire our posts over lapped earlier, we sound just like the group for you.

My experience with vag was that I met my husband and he was my first sexual partner, my first sexual experience was very painfull but I thought this was normal so just gritted my teath and got on with it thinking it will get better each time which it didn't! I think this is what caused my vag in a nutshell and it took me 5 years to manage to have sex again! I saw a Pyscosexual councellor and was reffered through my family planning clinic who have been a fantastic support and I had no waiting list so I would reccomend that.
The councelling didn't make me overcome vag but it helped me sort thorugh a lot of things and my relationship with Dh was strengthend and deepend.

I decided to ttc and deal with vag later some docs agreed with me some didn't but it was my decision. I had 2 lots of IUI which was like having a smear done which at the time was very very painful as I was still suffering from vag. I think for me it was the IUI that finally made me overcome vag because I was paying privately for the IUI and it was very painful so I thought lets have another attempt at sex, I was coping with vaginal scans so tried to convince myself I could do it plus if it hurt it was only the same pain that I was paying for through IUI if that makes sense and so hear I am able to have sex although it still isn't perfect or comfortable but hoping I'll be swinging from the lamp shades yet  

As for Dilators I couldn't get on with them and prefer vibrators as the are more sexual and DH can be involved but Emma really got on with them so its what ever works best for you. and I hope emma wont mind me saying this earlier this year she started with her dilators and found it hard going and now she is 8 weeks? pregnant so you can do it! Emma is a real inspiration on the dilator front.

Anyway feel I am rambbling now and not making much sense so will stop but welcome claire feel free to join us and anything can be said or asked on here so don't be shy.

Emma glad midwife was ok.

Annie how are you has spotting stopped?

Polly how are you feeling?

Have really itchy legs today which I always get before AF so think she is on her way

Someone else left work today  thats 3 now for the same reason!

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna! Itchy legs? How strange! Hopefully it's not AF .

Emma - don't worry about the weight too much, you have enough to worry about, and I'm sure that you will be able to shift it later (don't look at me for inspiration though!)

Annie you keep not telling us whether you are still spotting or not??

Claire - You are in the right place for great support! As Emma said, my situation is a bit different, but I have to say, these three girls are amazing! If anyone can get you swinging from the chandeliers, they can. They worked amazing magic on each other and all started having sex within weeks of each other. Really inspirational. When I needed support, they were great - and still are!!

I'm feeling much better today, thanks! I took my first clomid tablet - I first found advice that it should be taken at night, so I could turn into a    in my sleep and be over it by the time I woke up, but then others said that it stopped them sleeping. So I split the difference and took it at 6.30. Nothing too scary has happened yet.

Emma - the DN that I talk about is DS's daughter, but SIL lives near her, so is good for gossip, and sometimes I get better info from her than my sis. Actually I do usually end up helping employees  move home, but not if it's a whole houseful! Usually it's from flat to flat or something like that. Maybe if we get on a chat sometime, I'll tell you more about the company, cos it's a bit different.

Glad the midwife's appt went well - Annie, you must be due one soon!

Love

Polly

DH is back in the morning


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi again,

hope we haven't scared claire away??

Annie are you ok?

Poly, your company is a bit different, very very intreaged (sorry can't spell but sure you have noticed) glad you are feeling better, bet knowing DH is home soon makes you feel better. Any effects on clomid yet?

Yes I am very strange and seem to get itchy legs, and only legs around time when AF is due at first I thought it was saop or washing powder or something but couldn't pin point it as it is only my legs that are itchy not whole body. It was DH that realised it always happens when AF is due, weird I know!

I know this is the kiss of death but haven't had any cramps well not really anyway. Obviously hoping AF will not arrive and of course it will be a little gutting when it does but this month was more of a break month anyway so hope I wont take it to bad.

Will use OPK next month I think

Hope everyone is well

Donna xx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Keeping fingers crossed for you Donna! 

Polly


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Good morning,

I woke up stupidly early this morning (and twice in the night) so here I am, enjoying a cup of tea and some ginger biscuits.

Claire - the body I mentioned yesterday is called the Sexual Disfunction Association (what a horrible name). I just found their leaflet (very helpful, incidentally). If you get in touch with them they'll send you information and a list of contacts. It comes in a very anonymous envelope, so no one need know who it is from.
Donna is right - I did find the dilators hard at first, and forced myself to practice each day (or most days), but I grew quite fond of them later on.

Polly - one day I would love to hear more about your business. I am most intrigued, but I'm nosey like that. My guess is it is something quite unusual and innovative, with an ethical dimension. I'll say no more.
Glad dh is back today - you sound so excited!
How is the Clomid, several hours on. Have you turned into a witch yet?!

Donna - you've never mentioned itchy legs before. I obviously hope af doesn't arrive, but I hope you won't take it too badly if it does. Remember, this was your break month and you were unwell.

Annie - hope you are OK. I'm assuming that if you haven't mentioned spotting that there hasn't been any.

I think dh is going to be off sick today. He has a bad cold, but being a man thinks he has the flu and is at death's door. 
We have lots of people coming to view the house tomorrow, from the original agents  . Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Back later,
Emma, xxxxxxx


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## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Morning Emma

I'm up early ready to go and fetch DH. I have missed him SO MUCH!!!

Actually, thinking about it, it's not early, as I would be up at this time anyway - but I'M SO EXCITED!! 

You're about spot on about the business (she said modestly), but we're a big fish in a small pool, and although it wouldn't mean much to most people, anyone who had come across us would recognise me from any details here, and I am aware that all this is here for posterity, so it would have to be a chat room. 


Anyway, time to get dressed and go to H'row! Bet it takes me hours!
Love
Polly


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

You didn't scare me away, no, just not online in the evenings much (tend to do stuff at work when noone's around)!  Thanks for your replies, I really appreciate it.

Sexual Disfunction Association - thanks, will ask for their leaflets.  I don't think I can face my gp at the moment.  The gum clinic I saw is part of Bedford hospital and they said I could try to get an appointment direct or contact my gp.  I was under the impression they couldn't refer me.

Think maybe I should try to progress with the dilators first, and if I don't get anywhere beyond no. 2, then consider the psychosexual counsellor, what do you think?  I think the problem is I don't think something will fit and so I tense up (like when they opened the speculum).  Took me ages to use a tampon but now is easy so I guess there is an answer?

What concerns me most is the bleeding.  They have assured me there is nothing else wrong with me but I don't understand where the blood came from after the speculum on Wednesday (I had a speculum a year ago as well which also hurt like hell but there was no blood).  I know the bleeding from the sex was cervicitis and I am also very tense as my ex boyfriend didn't force me but pushed his way in regardless of my saying it hurt (only the 4 times though!).  I'm 100% sure my boyfriend won't do this but I need to be comfortable first and that might take time.  How long did it take you to get used to the dilators as while I appreciate everyone's different I have no idea what ball park I'm in.

Claire


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

Just want to welcome you to Fertility Friends Claire, will be nice for the girls here to have someone else to talk to, they area  great bunch and very supportive, wishing you lots of luck in whatever paths you take.

Candy x


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## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

Sorry wasn't online last night. Went food shopping for my weekend away!!! Wow- so much to catch up on.

Firstly -apologies to Polly for not updating you all on the spotting front. I guess I've just been putting it to the back of my mind. Well it's no more or less than any other day. I think I'm getting my head around the fact it might be what my GP said - normal discharge just a browner colour. I still squint when I go to the loo and say a little prayer before looking for bright red! A lady I know was talking about her pregnancy the other day and she said she had brown discharge for almost 13 weeks! So I'm still a bit wary with it but relaxing ever so slightly. 

Emma - Glad everything went well with the Midwife. My friends and I call them Madwife's!!! I'm glad you said you've put on a bit of weight. I'm petrified of weighing myself! My jeans & trousers are starting to feel a little bit comfy, yet still I can't stop eating! Best of luck with the viewings you have lined up. Hopefully one of them will put in a jumbo offer!

Donna - Any news yet? Still itching?

Polly - Well done on starting Clomid. Any hot flashes yet?!?! Look forward to them - they're great!

Claire- Welcome again. I think Emma's going to be of most benefit to you at the moment. Her experiences seem closer to yours than myself, Donna & Polly. Although I'm sure we'll all jump on board when we can put in tuppence worth!
I'm more than happy to share my experience with you as I know that when I first realised I had vag the more stories I heard, the less alone I felt.
So - DH & I had been ttc for nearly 3 years and weren't getting anywhere. I've always had really dodgy cycles so that seemed to be the obvious problem. As far as I was concerned we were having sex quite happily and properly. I'd also had a big fear of smear tests or any internals after my first ever smear test was a truly horrible experience. Well long story short I relaised one evening that perhaps DH & I weren't actually connecting completely, freaked out and found Emma & Donna!
With their love and support over just a few months I managed to start having proper sex, used tampons for the first time and even had my very first smear test.
You can overcome this Claire and we will help you every step of the way. I can help you with facing up to speculums & tampons, Polly & Emma can help you with dilators & Donna can give you oodles of advice on all of the above!!! We've got each other through it so we know we can help you too.

Right then my lovely ladies. I'm off down to Longleat now. Polly - let DH come up for air at some point won't you! Behave yourselves and I'll catch up with you on Monday

Love you all xxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Morning,

Annie I know you wont read this but have alovely relaxing time away.

Claire as I said I really couldn't get on with the dilators as found them such a chore and very unsexual and I always find it better if your slightly arrosed, easier to insert things so thats why I decided to try vibrators in stead. When I was usind the dilators I found it much easier and more relaxing to use them in the bath, so thats hot hot tip! hope it helps.
I would also advise that you take your time get really comfortable with no.2 before moving on your know when its right to try no.3 go at your own pace. My councellor also reccomended to me that I f I found the leap between dilator sizes to big then I could find soemthing that was in the middle, use anything, candels, carrots etc just use a condom lots of lube and your away! I would reccomend KY jely or Durex play - Durex play is less sticky and they are also both safe for ttc when the time comes.

Emma, I have everything crossed for you, in fact I am in a big knot!  Hope veiwings go well. Hows DH?

Polly, I hope AF isnt in full flow then you can jump on DH  Hope you enjoy a really nice evening together tonight or day together if you don't have to work.

Just found out I will be starting work on MONDAY! aaaaaaaarrrrrgggggggghhhhhh not mentally prepared. meeting up with manager tommorrow to go through things!
Feel more crampy today but hay its not christmas yet still a couple of trys to go!

Don't think I mentioned it but when I went to GP last week, he had the chart out all ready to work out my dure date bless him! I don't go to the gp that often so guess he assumed that as I was back so soon I must be pregnant. He said he wouldn't hide it in his draw as next time I was in i would def need it bless him

Have a fab friday

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Donna - your GP sounds so sweet! It is nice to have a GP who remembers you as an individual, isn't it? My current one is lovely, but previous ones wouldn't have known me from Adam (which is partly why I never felt able to talk to them about the vag).
How exciting to start on Monday - far better to get on with these things than spend days worrying. And you have all your wonderful new clothes to wear. 

Annie - hope you have a lovely weekend watching everyone else do adventurous things! 

Polly - hope you have a lovely day with dh. 

Claire - hello again. It might be worth trying in water, as Donna suggested. Annie used to do the same with a speculum. My attempts in water were a disaster. I'm quite short and found that I was slipping further and further into the bath, and then was concentrating on not drowning rather than on dilator action. Some people find background music or breathing exercises help, but again I found both a distraction. I am quite contrary at the best of times.  I used loads of lube. KY or Aquagel were best with the dilators, but too sticky for ttc. Have you tried waggling/rocking them from side to side as you push in. It helped me to visualise the dilator going into the hole as I did it.
It did take ages to get used to the dilators. I hated even looking at them at first, and found the sensation of them inside quite uncomfortable, but it got better over time. I think I started using them in January this year, and was able to manage number 4 and then actual proper sex by about May/June. I thought that I was very slow in getting there, but in the grand scheme of things 5/6 months doesn't sound so bad (after all I'd had 11 years with no sex at all).
The bleeding sounds very strange though, and should be checked out. I never had bleeding at all. I wonder if the dilators could do more harm than good if you are bleeding.
You must be in the same part of the world as myself and Polly. I'm in Herts, but saw a gynaecologist at Luton and Dunstable Hospital for the vag.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling.

I'm off to make my house look beautiful for tomorrow. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello again,

Can you tell I am avioding doing my college work, have to go toa study day again saturday week and had planned to do work next week but now I am goin back to work so have to do it today!

Claire, had a thought when trying to insert dilaltors try putting a cushion under you bottom as it helps, better angle I guess. also when I had IUI they always made me cough when they inserted spectulum which helped to.

Can I ask you do you bleed a lot or is it spotting? I have alittle bleed everytime I have had a spectulum inserted and everyone seemed to think it was ok. didn't last more than 1 day and somtimes only a few hours. I was always ok with dilators and vibrators though

Donna xx

Ps Emma just ordered more clothes from DH's freemans catalogue!


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## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Thanks for all your helpful suggestions.  I'm going to start trying with the dilator next weekend (I have an exam next Thursday and don't want to add extra stress for myself in the meantime as I'm supposed to be revising in the evenings - I'm a part time student, work full time) and will apply your ideas, will try all of them if need be 'til I find what works best, cushions, lube, waggling, music, baths!

Bleeding - it was just spotting after the speculum for a few hours after, and a bit of soreness (which has gone as of last night).  The previous speculum didn't result in bleeding nor did using the dilators (#s 1 and 2).  They didn't seem concerned at the clinic when I rang the following morning to ask about it.  They said that there is nothing else wrong with me, no STIs, no abrasions/cuts/inflammations (or there weren't until that blasted speculum!).  The only other bleeding was from the sex with cervicitis 4 years ago due to the inflammation which would be expected and which hurt like hell (from the first sex of four) and bleeding started the second time, then I found out about the bacterial cervicitis and antibiotics cleared it up.  Hence 4 years of disinterest in such things and my problem now.  But it's reassuring to know someone else had the bleeding after a speculum, I was beginning to overreact and think it was just me and there was something wrong with me.

It's great that you've all moved on so much, I'm really pleased for you, and hope I can achieve the same thing.  5/6 months sounds ok to me, I'd be happy with that.

Claire


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Claire,

You have th right attitude and I am sure you will be fine, we will help you anyway we can. Feel free to come on here any time to celebrate acheivements or have a rant if your feeling down. There are also on tabo subjects on here as you may have realised if you have read any previous posts.

Great to have you on borad!

Emma I do feel proud that this thread started with just as in December now look at what we have acheived I am so glad we started this.

Must do some work now

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hum hum hum so bored! guess your off walking the dogs now Emma!   its that time of day.

Done some college work but so much to do, I have done nothing since last study day 3 weeks ago! largely because didn't do anything in the first week as was talking to manager etc bout what I would have to do then last week and this week I haven't been working and didn't know if i'd be continuing with course so now have to do everything today and there ae some things I can't do till I star work next week so will have a lot to do next week!

oh well best crack on and stop talking to myself!

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

God really am talking to myself  

Think I will go food shopping soon, completed 2 pieces of work and think there is only 1 more I can do alone, others I need to have discusions with peole at work etc so can't do those till next week.

They are having a parents meeting at my old nursery tonight, gutted I am going to miss it as sure there will be a riot! I have put spys in place so hope for lots of feed back tonight!

Polly I hope you are having alovely day and not working, but knowing you are busy busy buusy.
Hows things with the clomid? do you have to take it every day?

Emma where are you?

Spoke to DH last night and think we are going to stick with original plan of no OPK untill after christmas even though I realy want to use them. we did agree that we would try 6 months without them whcih was supposed to be more relaxed - yeah right! then 6 months with them before going back to GP

Donna xx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Now come on you guys, I bet when I am back at work I will have pages and pages to catch upon in the evening, but when I am here.......................silence 

well its final I have lost the plot  I left the house at about 320pm but had in my head it was 420! even phoned DH thinking he would be on his tea break, wasn't put off by the fact he didn't answer, I went charging to the bank cause I was thinking it was going to shut, raced in paid did my bits in there then headed to tesco. Still merrily thinking I was an hour ahead it wasn't till I got to the checkout and saw the time that I realised it was 420 not 520 but I still thought there clock had stopped and had to check my phone! crazy! but now feel I haev gained an hour so will do some more college work then have a nice cup of tea and a choclate crape! yummmmyyyyy

Donna xx

please come back I am going crazy on my own


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna - you have been busy talking to yourself all day long.  Sorry I've been so quiet today. I've been rushing around cleaning and tidying the house ready for tomorrow. The first viewing is at 9am, so no lie-in for me. Finally finished, but I bet dh will mess up the kitchen again. You were quite right - I was walking my dogs at 2pm.

I did laugh at you getting confused about the time. 

Good on you for doing your college work. You might feel too tired to do any for a while after starting the new job.

I am absolutely starving now. I'm going to go and eat a fruit bun, or two, with a nice cup of tea.  

Back later,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Yeah glad your back, took up a whole page talking to myself 

Still have lots of college work to do and will be very busy in the evenings, I hope I will start on teh early shift cause then I'll get home by 5pm and have more time to do it before DH gets home.

don't think we will find bms a problem as DH is finding my new authoritive role and new smarter clothes a turn on! If i'd known I would have saved money on the sexy underwear and got a few shirts! 

Donna xx


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## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Won't small children and babies mess up your lovely new smart clothes?

My dh has a thing about me in shirts/suits/smart clothes too, although I can't remember the last time I wore anything like that. Actually, I like seeing him in his suit, although I rarely do (he keeps them at work and changes into scruffy, normal clothes to come home).

One of the people coming to view tomorrow has cancelled.  Still, there are 2 more.

Are you doing anything nice at the weekend? I don't think I've got anything planned at all.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


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## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

I have to agree there is something about a man in a suit doesn't for me everytime 

I am going to work smart/casual as I have to work with the children, nursery takes 2-5 year olds so hopefully wont be so hard, as I was finding working babies difficult at times but then saying that sometimes 2yr olds make me more broody.

Meeting boss tommorrow to discuss things before monday, having dinner at my mum and dads saturday and sunday but nothing much else plannned.

you still have 2 viewings and it only takes 1 - good luck.

Do you think Polly as come up for air?

Donna xx


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## Candy (Mar 8, 2004)

New home this way ladies -->

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=38904.new#new


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