# Selfish Husband



## reggierob (Jul 5, 2008)

I think my DH and friends are being really selfish. I went out with them last night and everyone is having a lovely time getting drunk whilst I'm on the lime and sodas. They wanted to carry on partying when i wanted to go home so they started trying to get me to have a few drinks and get drunk. I think this is incredibly selfish. my friend was meant to be out with me and she just got drunk with everyone and I was forgotten about. My DH should be supportive of me and not get drunk and persuade me to do the same.

I feel like I'm putting in all the effort to try for a baby. I'm on clomid, I have put on weight (i had a low bmi), I have stopped going to aerobics, i generally look after myself, early nights and healthy food etc. 

No one else, especially DH, seems to care about anyone but themselves.

I hate TTC, i feel like my whole life has stopped. I have no idea of what i want for my future and i feel like I'm facing everything on my own. 

does any one else feel like this?


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## cleg (Jun 27, 2006)

reggierob firstly big 's

secondly i think you need to have a word with your Husband, you are not asking that he gives up having fun but he needs to respect that you are both activly trying to concieve + he has to support you, tell him how you are felling, all of it leave nothing out, you are going through this together not alone hun + he needs to know how his actions affect you,

another thing is your friend, i dont think that anyone will truely understand what you are going through unless they have been through it themselves hunny, dont be to harsh on her your friend may not understand the reasons for you not wanting to drink + maybe a quiet word with her to let her know how you are finding things at the mo may help her understand the situation a little

you are not the only one who is TTC who has been left feeling alone + unsupported hun, infertility can be cruel at times  you have FF so you have some sort of support network so be sure you use it 

come join the girls on the chit chat thread heres the link ~ http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=149467.msg2316345#new

the girls are fab so come join them

xxx


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## reggierob (Jul 5, 2008)

thanks cleg, 

I think im probably being a bit hard on him as he does try.. I will try and let him know and I will def come and chat at some point!

xx


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## Rees1978 (Jul 3, 2008)

Hi reggierob.

Oh bless you honey  

It is hard TTC and I think we all get down about it but try to relax and think positive but it is not always that easy is it hun?

My hubby is like that too sometimes and I also feel sometimes that its only me in this game!

Everyone can aenjoy few drinks without getting drunk all the time eh ! xx


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## angeldee (Jul 16, 2008)

Hi Reggie
I know how you feel hun I gave up smoking, 1/1/08  joined a gym have a personal trainer twice a week and try an eat healthly my dh smokes 20/30 cigs a day eats cr*p all the time and binge drinks with his mates a couple of times a month oh and he doesn't do any form of exercise.  So as you can imagine I feel like Im making all the sacrifices and he is just how he always is my advice to you is tell him how you feel I told my DH well rather shouted at him   which I don't recommend lol but he listened apologised and now is trying to make an effort the girls are right no one truely understands until they go through it.  So you just hang in there and talk to us gals on FF we care and we know how you feel big big   to you sweetie

Deexxxxxxx


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## Topkat08 (Jul 23, 2008)

Typical man... 
the other ladies r right tho, u need 2 have it out with him n let him know that he has really upset ya.
The last thing anyone wants when there TTC is 2 feel streesed out n alone because thats going to  put ur  on the back burner which we all know is NOT a gd idea when ttc lol.

have a word with him & ur friend n tell them that u expected more support from them!

   & lots of     for u hun x x


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## M.W. (May 9, 2006)

...and I thought I was the only one with an awkward hubbie!
I know the whole thing is stressful for him as well, but he seems more keen on his sport than me at the moment. We have to go for sperm and blood tests and he has basicaly said he doesn't want to as his last test was ok. I know the doctors won't let us move to the next stage of the IVF unless they test again. Why is he being so bloody awkward?
As if the investigations I have undergone so far have been pleaseant? At least he can do his thing on his own without several people staring at his bits!
Moan over and thanks for being able to vent off at you guys instead of him, again!
M.W.


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## cleg (Jun 27, 2006)

Topcat i agree that you should always talk to your partener if you are finding things dificult, it is always easy to say "typical bloke" but you have to remember they dont see things like we do  

as for friends understanding like i have said again dont be too harsh on them, they may not fully understand what it is like  

M.W try not to have a go at DP, the more you go on the more they will dig their heels in, give him the letter/test sheets + just say gently this is something you have to do, for all you know that his last results were good as you are moving forward with investigations + TX its something that has to be done, it may seem like a simple thing giving a sperm sample but hey it is + can be rather stressful for a male, its not easy perfoming on demand  

xxx


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