# Mixed-race couple - adoption possible?? enquiries



## Iman (Oct 11, 2007)

Dear all.

I am hoping someone could help me with a couple of questions I have. My DH has arrested sperm maturation - he is currently on some pills, that are our only chance of fixing the problem and us having child of our own. We will find out in June - if it doesnt work  (chances are low) we will be looking into adoption.

In preparation for that I've got a couple of questions....Im hoping the answers to these won't vary too much from LA to LA..

1. we are a mixed-race couple - He is Asian Pakistani and I am White British. I have heard that mixed-race couples will have problems being matched with children - is this true?

2. when you adopt a child - do they have  to take your surname? or could they keep their own ( if known) if thats what you would prefer for them?

3. We are muslim - would we only be matched with a muslim child? does religion factor into it?

I should stress that we dont mind the race or religion of any child we were fortunate enough to adopt.

If anyone can help answer these questions I would be really gratful.

Thank you!

xx


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## sundog (Jun 21, 2007)

Hi Iman, I can't answer all your questions fully but will help as best I can.

Firstly, my understanding is that mixed race couples are very valuable to LAs as there are far more non-white and mixed race children needing adoptive placements than there are similar couples wishing to adopt. So I would say you are potentially in a very favourable position. You would be considered for a child matching either your or your DH's cultural/racial background, or indeed the combination of you both, opening up quite a few possibilities.

I am afraid I cannot answer your second question with any real knowledge, but I would expect that a part of the child being fully accepted and recognised as a member of your family would involve him/her taking your surname. There may also be some issues relating to anonimity that would make it inappropriate for them to keep their birth surname. If this was something that you felt strongly about it, your reasons would certainly be explored in some detail.

As far as religion is concerned, my understanding is that it all comes down to what religious values you are able/prepared to promote. I suspect as practicing muslims there is a strong likelihood that you would not be matched with a child of a different religion, but may be considered for a child of no specified religion. This is something that may be explored in some detail. My DH is from a Jewish family although I am not, and we do not practice Judaism. However, this was a bit of a sticking block for a while as the SW took some convincing that we were not specifically looking for a Jewish child (of which there are virtually none in the area we live in!). Our birth child would not have been raised in the Jewish faith although of course they would have been brought up with a understanding of this and other religions.

Culture and identity certainly form a significant part of the home study and the child's sense of identity is of key concern, so expect your points to be covered in some detail (again and again! - these are the sort of things that tend to come up at the second opinion visit and at approval and matching panels). BUT, don't let that concern you - your combined rich experiences of race, culture and diversity can be some of your biggest strengths.

Good luck with whichever outcome comes through for you. Adoption is a wonderful thing and you will never feel that you have made a second choice.

sundog
x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi, Sundog has given you excellent advice. I am no expert but looking at the Children Who Wait and Be My Parent magazines, as a mixed race couple you would be snapped up straightaway by any local authority you approached as there is a definite lack of potential parents of mixed race. Also Muslim is an advantage as some children featured are Muslim. You would not be able to adopt a child of another Religion, as in our area at least, they are strict on this. Don't know about the surname bit. Why not ring up your Local Authority and have a chat over the phone and ask your questions. There is no obligation to proceed so it would just be a fact finding chat. Here is a link from BAAF that shows all the adoption agencies nationwide - just cut and paste

http://www.baaf.org.uk/agency_db/noflash_textonly/frameset_noflash.htm

Best wishes

/links


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## Iman (Oct 11, 2007)

Thank you so much both....really useful information and you have helped put my mind at ease a bit too!

Im sure if we do go down this route we have so much more to learn still....I think I might ask for some information from the local authority, see if they can send me something.

Thank you xx


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## fiona1 (Feb 2, 2005)

Haven't got time for a proper post, just wanted to add that i am sure there was a lady on here not too long ago from London who was White and they wouldn't assess her as they didn't have any white babies, so on that basis you should hopfully be ok.

Good Luck

Fiona


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Iman

Firstly welcome to the adoption boards

I think the other ladies have covered this well, i just wanted to add that i think for where you live(london as a whole) you will snapped up- i know our LA had for EG a child in CWW mag who was under 1 however he was white british/Iranian Kurdistan and they HAD to look for a match that reflected his ethnic back ground 

I would contact your local LA's and VA's (you can go upto 50mile radius) and see what they have to say . (i know a VA where i live specialises in "harder to place children" which is sibling groups or mixed race.

in reguards to religion i think they would match you to a child of either no religion or muslim (however i could be wrong) we put down we are non practising C of E and the children we have been matched too are of "no set faith" 

hope this helps you

xxx


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## ChrisA (May 12, 2005)

I am in a similar situation, Chinese-English, is there a very non-pc search engine that would locate suitable authorities for us to apply to?


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

ChrisA said:


> I am in a similar situation, Chinese-English, is there a very non-pc search engine that would locate suitable authorities for us to apply to?


Hi

not sure how to word this so please dont be offended (i am very tired due to intros at the mo)

LA's have there own "stock" of children as such however the VA's dont have there own direct "stock" and some tend to specialise in "dual/mixed race" couples/individuals

I would ring around and see what the local LA's/VA's say as they may all be chomping at the bit to get you to go with them!

xxx


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## ChrisA (May 12, 2005)

Don't worry I'm not offended, but then maybe you meant other ppl.

I spoke to my local LA, chomping at the bit did not spring to mind


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi Chris, 
Please don't be discouraged, you can apply (normally) to any LA withing approx a 50 mile radius and as MJ said there are also Voluntary agencies. We got hold of a list of all those local to us through adoption UK (BAAF may also have a similar list) and contacted them all, we were very glad we did as the LA we ended up going with was a perfect match for us and we know have our 2 wonderful children!
All the best.
Viva
X


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## ♥ M J ♥ (Apr 17, 2004)

Hi Chris- i just didnt want to offend any one! inc you x

Viva yes you can get a list of LA/VA off the baaf website and itsa normally 50miles from your home to the town the va/la is in

good luck all

xxx


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