# Problem with HV, don't know where to post



## peabirdtrio (Aug 1, 2007)

Hello there

So sorry for posting this rant/complaint/upset here, but I just don't know where elso to put it. I am so so upset with my HV I just don't know what else to do.  I've always found her rather officious, opinionated and brusque  - almost nosey at times, but haven't really allowed this to cloud my judgement or affect the way I would like to interact with her (or any HV), indeed I have always been very honest with her - something I am beginning to regret now as her comments over the last few days have left me feeling like she's abused my trust completely.

As a very brief background I have a history of depression which is largely fertility related, and am thrilled to say that since I fell pg the medication I take has halved (I was on a massive dose) and since my LO was born I have never felt better.  Indeed my CPN and GP have commented on my great mood and the turn around, suggesting I could reduce my dose further and at this point I only see my CPN because I want to, not because I need to - if you know what I mean.....

Anyway, back to the HV.........(she doesn't visit, but runs a clinic twice a month or is contactable by phone)  I've only had need to contact her twice since LO arrived, on both occaisions it took her 4 days to return my call, both times I've had to seek alternative advice because she took so long.  Anyhow, on the second time she promised to call me back 2 days later to see how I was getting on.  8 days later, still not a call.  So when I visited the baby clinic to have LO weighed etc I mentioned to the nurse who helps the HV run the clinic that I wasn[t very happy she hadn't called me back.  Later that day she did call me at home having been told by the nurse I wan't very happy...........

what a horrid phone call - no apology, and a hurried insistence she did call and left a message - I was also  told that the HV service wasn't an 'emergency service'  - (to which I did ask her not to be so patronising and rude )- indeed if I did have an emergency I do know what I would do and she is the last person I'd call............  anyway, by this point I was quite upset with her and just wanted the call to end, when she asked 'are you alone in the house with B?'...........  I asked her why she wanted to know to which she replied 'I don't think you should be alone just now, you're obviously upset, feeling low and need to have someone with you for support'.  NEVER have I been so upset.  How dare she insinuate that I am not coping, how dare she use knowledge about me to knock my confidence and belief that I am a good mother.  I can't tell you how damaged I feel by her comment.

I did call my GP to explain what had happened and how I felt (GP is fabulously supportive of me).  The upshot of it is they hope I  continue to use the service - but I feel so hurt by this incidence, I have no confidence in the woman, and feel that my trust has been abused.  The thing is I do want to use the service, but I feel that I cannot have a relationship with this HV as I will always be guarded as to what I say etc.  Unfortunately I live in a very rural area and there is no other HV available in the area.

What on earth shoudl i do - I don't want to deprive my son of a professional service that should be available to him and me, but without prejudice. 

Any ideas?

Thanks for listening.................  

love 

Pea xxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hiya pea

Thankyou for posting.

I will reply to you over the weekend, as there are a few suggestions I can make which I hope will help.

I just need to get molly to bed...so if I dont get bsck to you tonight...I promise I will before monday.

 

Jxxxx


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## jeanette (May 3, 2003)

Hiya Pea

Im going to divide your posts up..so if I miss anything out just nudge me! 

HV lack of return telephone calls- Im shocked that your HV rarely returns your calls. Does she work part time? Im wondering if her workload is that big that she cant return phone calls? (bear with me  )

You feel unable to have a relationship with this HV

Unhelpful telephone call from this HV- I believe that you need to take this further. The effects of this phone call upon you will last far longer than the actual length time of the call.

What you can do:
-nothing and just continue with seeing this HV as and when
-write a letter of complaint to her manager (HV Manager who is normally based in the PCT head quarters). Base your complaint around what you have said on here, plus any other information which you feel is important.
-Request in writing a different HV- go through the manager and outline your reasons for this request.
-go to a different baby clinic in a different area
-Find out who you can contact from the PALS (patient advisory liason services). This person will help, advice and support you. I would strongly recommend that you get incontact with this person (they are normally based in the same office as the HV manager).

So, contact the HV manager and PALS and let them sort this out for you. If the HV workload is so great then her manager can take this up with the HV and review her current workload. But its no excuse for not making a quick phone call.

Try and see your cpn soon so that you can have support from them as well whilst a HV is arranged for you.

I hope that this has helped hun and I really sorry that this has affected you so much.   

Let me know how you get on.

Jeanettex


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## peabirdtrio (Aug 1, 2007)

Jeanette

Thank you so much for your reply.  I need to carefully consider what the next step is and make sure most of all that my son has the services he needs.  I'll talk through your reply with my DP and see what he says - and yes, I will get in touch with my cpn too.

Many many thanks - you're a treasure!

love

Pea x


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## peabirdtrio (Aug 1, 2007)

Jeanette

I just wanted to say thank you very much for your help on this one (and a big thank you to the lovely friends who PM'd me too).  It's been a while since this all blew up, but I wanted to let you know that after much thought and discussion over the last few weeks I have now changed HV - and feel so much happier about it too!  (even though the clinic is 40 mins away!)

Thank you again

Love

Pea xx


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