# Anyone ever tried CBT- (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) ???



## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Hi girls- has anyone ever tried this and if so did it work for you? 

There are few fertility counsellors in my area so was wondering about this. Every time i got close to going to counselling before I chickened out. After having worked very hard to pull myself out of the sadness i felt when i decided to quit ttc (Aug 2006) I find myself in danger of slipping back.

I posted recently about this and the sadness  is mainly due to the fact that my step daughter (19) who lives with us is pregnant and i am really struggling. She is supposed to be moving out after the baby is born but the other night I couldnt sleep thinking that very soon (she will be 5months mid march) she would be feeling the baby kick - this thought is killing me and I cannot even look at her as I dont want to see her get bigger. As you can imagine it is really crap at home lately. I wrote her a letter without going into much detail about personal issues, but she wrote me a very smug letter back which upset me and there has been no communication since. (she stays with boyfriend fri - sun ,in between work so at least there' s a break for me then)

Would be interested to hear anyone's views on CBT as I need to chat to someone neutral maybe.


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## rosebud_05_99 (Apr 15, 2008)

Hi 

I never tried that therpy because its quite expensive but would love to try it. You are very brave to put up with the pg in the house, I had a silimilar situation years ago with my sis in law who lived in with us, and im afraid I helped her get a flat so I wouldnt have to look at her , she was 19 then too, now she has 3 kids, but im glad i made that decision as it saved my sanity at the time. Its a pity you didnt get a bit more understanding when you wrote the letter but its a area I find that I get very little understanding in this area and those closest sometimes are the cruelest. And by the sounds of things she is moving out anyway after the baby is born so you wont even have the joy of a baby in the house but you have to put up with the pg c.r.a.p now. I hope you are getting lots of support from your dh in this matter.

rosebud


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## LEXEY (May 21, 2008)

HI HUN am so so sorry your struggleing  its not easy is it   
well good new is yep iv had CBT an yep it worked  well am much better      well i think i am   
long long story but if i can help you  am here


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Thanks for the replies so far.

Rosebud- I would love if she moved out off her own bat as it would make things a lot easier but unfortunately she repeated a year in school and has exams to finish so dh wanted her to stay so she can do this. 

He is being supportive in that he isnt making me feel TOO guilty about us not talking, however he thinks i maybe made a mistake in writing the letter as that gave her ammunition to write back. To be honest I can see her still being in our house after the baby is born and i dont see me being able to cope with that either. Sleepless nights and not even my baby!  then i will have to go to work while they sleep. 

My af is due so maybe thats why i am feeling extra down this week. Every time my dh and I seem to  be getting back on track something happens. He is torn again between me and her and all i want is for someone to look after me for a change


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## LEXEY (May 21, 2008)

IRISH EYES i did you a post then seen you quit tx in 2006  
so i removed it and did this 1 instead   
i think calling it a day on tx is so hard  i remember the Dr saying to me its hard work doing ivf and a dam sight harder  knowing when to stop  i think it sounds like you still need a hand to hold   i had counseling but it drove me mad as i wanted answers  that no 1 had    i also reacted badly to certain things but the CBT helped me to  control  things and think about things b4 i done them  there was so many time in the past that i could kick myself even now 4,  but if something happens now i think about it a few days b4 i do anythin.  remember your not alone and speaking to people who understand is a huge help FF as been a life line to me  
i find the hands i hold are always warm  
THINKIN OFF YOU XXX


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## irisheyes (Feb 2, 2005)

Thanx Lexey - i like that bit at the end " I find the hands I hold are always warm". 

I will keep you posted but i suppose no-one ever really understands unless they are in the situation. My sister is very sympathetic but she has not been thru the years with my sdaughter- knows some of the crap she has put us thru but not all and ditto the rest of the family. Who's to say that a counsellor will understand either but maybe if i get some coping strategies that will help a bit. Thanx again.


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## LEXEY (May 21, 2008)

AH IRISH  SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW THE WAY     TRADESMEN DONT LEAVE FOR WORK WITHOUT THERE TOOLS  RIGHT    CBT IS A LIFE TOOL THAT WE WERNT GIVIN  WHEN WE ARRIVED SO GO BACK FOR IT      
YOUR SO RIGHT ABOUT PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTANDING  ITS ALWAYS BEST TO  TALK TO THOSE WHO KNOW HOW YOUR FEEING THEY HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING ALSO  I THINK IT HELPS NOT TELLIN YOUR FAMILY EVERYTHIN  SOME TIMES A BIT CLOSE TO HOME AND THEY TEND TO TELL YOU WOT YOU  WANT TO HEAR  BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU 
KIDS DO PUT A LOT OFF PREASURE ON YOU  EVEN AS THEY GET OLDER 
YOUR DH MUST BE A GOOD GUY  TO STILL BE SUPPORTING YOUR STP D AT 19  MOST MEN WOULD BE AVIN A PARTY AND SAYIN ON YOUR      PROB ON THERE 18 TH BIRTHDAY  AND IF TIMES AV BEEN SO BAD I DONT BLAME THEM  ITS HARD WORK AND STRESFULL STO SUPPORT UNRULEY TEENAGES  MOST PEOPLE WOULD COUNT THE DAYS TILL THEY WERE 18  MY EXH WALKED OUT WHEN MINE REALLY NEEDED THEM THEY BOTH WENT OFF THE RAILS  AND EVEN  NOW MY DD STRUGELS HENCE ME TRYING TO GIVE MORE  THAN SOMETIMES I CAN GIVE  ITS THOUGH FOR BOTH OFF YOU  AT THE MIN  AND YOUR DH MUST BE FINDING IT SO HARD 2 HE LOVES 2 WOMEN AND AT THE MIN THEY BOTH NEED HIM    IF I HAD THE ANSWERS AD BE A MILLIONAIR  I GUESS YOU HAVE TO FIND HAPPIENESS  INYOURSELF  AND THATS A JOB INITSELF  BUT ITS A START  TAKE UP THE OFFER OFF THE CBT  IT CANT MAKE YOU FEEL AND WORST  HERES TO A BETTER DAY HUN  AM HERE IF YOU NEED A CHAT ANY TIME


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