# Reactions to wanting another - work / friends



## REDHAY (Apr 12, 2006)

HI there, I have been for some time wanting another baby, (since I was born ) my problem is as I'm only just due to return to work, the impact that a cycle of IVF has on my work.  

Sorry I'm not making sense, last time I took a weeks Annual Leave during EC and ET and 2 weeks sick, as my job involves alot of lifting and is very stressful. At the time my boss was very supportive, but somehow I dont feel I'll get the same response if I say I want to try again.  I feel that people will judge me as being greedy.    It's not like no-one has to know when it happens, I will need to let work know, I could lie but I have got a very open relationship with my male boss.

It's tricky, It's not like 'Guess what so and so's pregnant again', I hate people knowing that I'm trying and hate being judged.

Also MIl has made a few comments, 'oh you dont want to try again yet', 'enjoy this baby 1st'.  Where as if I was able to conceive naturally, no-one would need to know.
Anyone else feel a bit like this?  I would love to try again asap, but dont want to be judged.

Hayley


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## Edna (Mar 19, 2005)

Hi Hayley,

I think its much harder for us, as you say if you could conceive naturally there would be less pressure. I'm reluctant to leave trying for no 2 long as I have no idea how long if ever it will take. You're certainly not greedy.  

It sounds like your boss is a decent bloke and so if you talk to him I'm sure he will be OK. As to how you are judged shouldn't this be down to the work you put in? And I'm sure you'll be doing a good job when you're there. Finally I don't think that 10 days sick leave really is that much. I work with a variety of people and have a couple of colleagues who are always (or seem to be) off sick certainly more than 10 days.

Best of luck.


Edna


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## Minkey (May 22, 2004)

Hello,

You are not greedy, it is perfectly normal to want more than one child.  I would be open with your boss if you feel that you can and try not to worry about being judged.  You (& we!) know what you are doing is right and that is the main thing.

Good luck,
  

Minkey x


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## Ashy (Jul 31, 2004)

We have just started to TTC #3 naturally and my boss has just said "you don't need another baby!".  What does he know!  

I used to let what others thought bother me, but now I've got the "I don't care" attitude towards them.

Do what's best for you and your family.

Good luck

Ashy


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

You have to put yourself and family first - as already said I bet there is people in your workplace who have had far more than 10 days sick!! Go for it!! When you are retired and looking back on your life you wont wish you spent mpre time at work or pleasing your boss - you will wish you had had more children so dont wait hun - you and your family is whats important. 

Do youhave to tell your boss - cant you just do the same again and give another reason for being off sick??


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## ClaireB (Jan 26, 2005)

Hi

I just want to say I know exactly how you feel.  My dd is 20 months and I'm on the 2 ww of a second ICSI cycle to try for a sibling. I have known for ages I wanted to try for a second but just kept putting it off.  Partly just cowardice!  But partly I hate the "public" nature of IVF.  I've tried to keep it pretty private, only a few friends know that we are trying.  I haven't even told family as I can do without their views/expectations/disappointments.  

Don't be put off by what other people think.  I wish I'd got on with this a few months ago, realistically we may need a few cycles of treatment, and I don't want a big age gap.

Claire


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## REDHAY (Apr 12, 2006)

Thank you everyone for all your comments, 

ClaireB - I too have tried to keep the whole ivf thing quiet but had to tell a few at work, and close family and friends.  I hate the negative attitude that people have when trying for a sibling close together.  When you have IF waiting and time is'nt always an option, as it may take a few attemps to gain that precious BFP.  

I will try soon, best get back to work and get a bit settled 1st,    

Good luck, here to siblings for all x x 

Hayley


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