# Struggling to Stay Positive



## gaia71 (Feb 16, 2013)

I'm really struggling at the moment and could do with a bit of reassurance/coping strategies, because I'm not feeling very positive at the moment.... Long story short... I can't afford more advanced treatment until 2017 earliest (DE), which will take me to my mid-late forties. I'm no longer in a relationship and am feeling very glum about my situation... I seem to have lost my joie de vive (think that's spelt correctly lol) and am distancing myself from old friends for obvious reasons... so not only am I childless I'm also heading towards being friendless - not a nice place to be   Fortunately I have a good job (and fantastic colleagues) which keeps me sane  .... I want to get on with treatment, but can't. I feel trapped my my limited resources. This is resulting in me feeling very frustrated, scared and lonely... This is not how I'd planned my life to be... I don't know anybody else in my situation, nobody.... I need to stay positive for what lies ahead. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully my time will come... but it's not coming fast enough and every day is a struggle at the moment. Not sure how I can help myself at the moment....


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## sunshine and clouds (Sep 28, 2014)

Big hugs gaia 

It sounds like you could use someone to talk things over with maybe an infertility counsellor?  There is a lot on your mind maybe it would be good to air that with someone neutral and work out some coping strategies and where you go from here xx 

Try not to push your friends away they may help you regain your joi de vivre! 

Just a few thoughts I'm not qualified to give advice or anything but didn't want to read and run. Sending positive thoughts your way hope some exciting times are coming your way xx


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## Hopefulshell (Mar 14, 2013)

Gaia 

It's a tough journey this but you aren't 
alone on it petal. I think many of us are
guilty of distancing ourselves from old
friends but the sad fact is that as old mates
have children their lives inevitably go in a 
different direction and the things you once 
had in common may no longer be enough 
However good friends can be a great source 
of support and it's during the rubbish times 
when your true mates will be there for you.

Does your clinic or region have an IF support
group? This can be a great way to meet new 
friends with people who understand exactly 
how you feel. Or maybe consider doing a night
school class or similar to just meet new and
different people who can take your mind off IF
and give you something else to focus on? I know
it's so hard to motivate yourself to make the effort
when you're feeling so low but if you can take a 
step like doing a class or taking up a new hobby
this little thing can soon give you an outlet outside
all-consuming IF. 

Rather than seeing the time until next tx as being a
negative thing, perhaps try turning it on its head
and using it as an opportunity to do something new
or something you've always wanted to do. Eg before
next tx I will do xyz - setting some goals that will help
build your confidence, meet new people and give you 
back the joy you've lost at the mo. All achievements,
however small, can make a big difference to your self
confidence and general well being. It's great you love
your job. Channel that zest for work into another venture.
By the time tx comes round hopefully the positivity
you've built up in yourself during the wait will stand you
in good stead for the future 


X


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