# BFN number 6 - positive stories please!



## LucyD (Apr 28, 2005)

We have just have another BFN! this was our 6th attempt (which included 3 IVF and 3 FET). I am gutted and heartbroken and can't beleive this is happening to me. Friends are having babies all around me on a constant basis and its like rubbing salt in a very sore wound. (there are currently 3 new babies and 2 heavily pregnant in close circle of DH friends).

Im very very emotional and swinging hourly from being very angry to very sad. I am finding it very difficult to think positive thoughts at the moment and cannot see how it is going to end.

I dont think I am ready to give up yet, although I must admit I dont think i have got much more left in me. Hubby and I are very close and he is very supportive (although I know he is feeling very helpless at the moment due to not being able to help me out of this state of dispair). I just feel very guilty that I am stopping him from being a dad (my thoughts not his!).

I have had to have extra drugs to combat immune issues on the last 2 attempts and have found the whole expecience very exhausting phsically and emotionally. I used to believe it was just a matter of trying and trying until it worked, but I am now starting to see that it not working at all is a possible outcome.

Do you think we are mad to try again for the 7th time? I do try to keep positive as I know negative thoughts breed negative outcomes, but its very difficult when there is complete lack of any glimmer of hope. Has anyone got any positive stories to tell of multiple failures followed by a BFP?


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## bodia (Apr 27, 2005)

Hi Lucy,

Firstly wanted to give you a big   You have certainly been through the mill.

I personally have had lots of IUI's, but only had 1 IVF so far. Have you been with the same clinic throughout? Is it worth getting another opinion?

Otherwise, my only advice is I read an excellent book called "Surviving Infertility" (I think) by Alice Domar. It's not about how to get pg, more about how to cope with IF when the world around you is going on. It's so hard when others are pg; 3 of my best friends are due in the next 2 months. 

Really thinking of you. Most importantly never feel alone, there are plenty of people on this website who have gone on to have BFP's after years of ttc.

Lots of love and strength,

xxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Hi Lucy

i am really in no position to give advice as i only managed 2 ivf cycles and couldn't take any more but i did want to send you a big   and to say if you feel you can do more tx and it's right for you then go for it, if not then no one can ever say you didn't give it your all and maybe you could start to look at other options  

pam xx


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## Eliza41 (Mar 17, 2007)

Hi Lucy

Having been through 4 negative cycles myself, I know how you must be feeling right now.

I do however, have a good friend who fell pregnant with twins on her 7th attempt.  So it can still happen !  She did change clinics a number of times and was finally successful at the Lister.

Eliza x


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## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hi there, 

We've been through 3 negative cycles so to some extent I can empathise with you.  We are considering whether our next attempt should be the last (for financial reasons, alongside the physical and emotional).  We are kept going by two success stories following a number of failed attempts.  Firstly, a friend of my mums had 7 failed attempts then was successful on the 8th.  She now has a baby girl.  Secondly, DH is a primary teacher and there are twin boys in his class.  They were conceived on the 7th attempt.  

If those people can do it, so can we!

PM me if you feel like a chat.  

Tracy xx

p.s. thanks to Bodia for the book recommendation.  I'm ordering it from Amazon now!


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## Guest (Jun 25, 2007)

Dear Lucy,

I have no words of wisdom to offer you, I just wanted to give you a big hug  

I think from what you have said a break is definately required, I realise this is easier said than done, but sometimes we all need time to reflect and weigh up our options.

Only you will know if another cycle is the right thing, but sadly you are right in the fact we all face the possibility that it may NEVER happen for us, no matter what we do.

All I can say is we only have one life, have a break from tx and think about what other things make you happy. With all those drugs and hormones floating through your system I think you just need to be kind to yourself for a bit  

PM me anytime you may need a chat, vent cry!

Love Jode x


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## LucyD (Apr 28, 2005)

Hi girls - 

I'm sorry i've not replied sooner, i've not logged on for a while as I think I just needed to escape from all things IVF/fertility related for a while!

Thankyou so much for replying, it really helps to know that there are people out there who understand what i am going through and I really appreciate the hugs and kind thoughts. Its a very lonely place sometimes, and I probably make it worse for myself as I don't discuss it with familly or friends.

Thanks for sharing the positive stories, its good to see that people do succceed on their 7th/8th attempt. I think you are right about having a break, to give my poor old body a rest from mad crazy hormones and hubby abreak from mad crazy hormonal wife if nothing else! 
I feel like I am getting to that scarey point where I'm like a gambler who is getting further and further into debt, but can't give up as they think the next bet might be the one that wins all of their money back!

Anyway - I'm going to try and find that book and also try to enjoy the summer and focus on positive things (ha ha - wishful thinking!)

thanks again -

xx


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## shaz72 (Oct 4, 2006)

Hi LucyD  

Just thought I would post and say I could have written the exact post you did and everything you wrote sends shivers down my spine.We have just had our 6th attempt 2 IVF and 4 FET and where do we go from here?Sadly like you 1 MC and all the rest are BFFailures   Sadly we use a ED and all options have run out at this stage so our IVF journey has come to a end,I wish you well in your long journey and sorry mine is not a positive post but I hope it helps to have someone going through everything you are  .

Shaz xx


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