# Looking to Start or Going Through Adoption 2005 Part 3



## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

New home girls. I have found it dififcult to keep up to speed (particularly those on prep course/home study) so I have done what I can from memory, so please let me know if i've missed anything/anyone and I will update from now on.

Good luck to everyone

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04 

*Bex *(Bex32): Approved at panel in April. X moved in on 8/11/04 

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005.

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005.


* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Caroline W*: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at Panel on 17th Feb 2005, now awaiting a suitable match


 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

*Mandy* (MSW): Panel 3/3/2005


* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Ruth*: Currently doing home assessment. Assigned a new SW now moved house. Panel may 2005?

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

*Nat* (Crazy): Currently doing home assessment.

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW. prep course Jan/Feb 05.

*Homer & Marge*: Prep course September.

*Nicola *(NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

*Shannis*: Prep course starts 2/9/04

*Morgana*: Allocated SW, Prep course May 2005

*Donnalee*: Home assessment starts 18/1/05

* LB *: Prep course starts in Jan 2005

* Georgia * Prep course starts 2/2/05

*Tracey H*: Allocated SW and attending prep course in Feb 2005.

* JenniferF* Awaiting vist from Sw to start prep course

*Pam (saphy75) * Prep course in the Spring of 2005

* Paddy * *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04

* Val 12 * Prep course starts Feb 2005

* Jude2 * Prep course starts April 2005



* Initial Stages *

*Nerys (lochness)* Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

* HelenB * Information Day with LA 17th December

* Nic (Hopingforbaby) * Currently considering the adoption option

* Magenta * Made initial contact with the agencies

* Natasha * Intro evening 11th Jan 2005



* Oh where oh where can they be! *

*Carol *(allineedisamircale): Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting?  )

*Jo *(jolene): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting?  )


Karen x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Karen - thanks for doing the list.  Can you update me please as I am going on the March 05 preparation course which starts 7/3/05.  Many thanks.

Jenny


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Good Morning everyone....
I cant believe it took me so long to catch up on everything!

Jenny- Great news on the date for the prep groups..I knwo you have waited a while but I found once we started them that the time just flew by!

MSW- Oohhh how exciting and nervewracking at the same time...you are so near to being promoted to the next "mummy" step. I hope things goes smoothly for you and dh..make sure you try and get as many ZZZZzzzz's during your last 10 sleeps!!  
Re weight watchers!....I joined 2 weeks ago and am feeling really goo, I have 3 stone to lose too and managed a massive 3lb in my first week. Back again tomorrow for another weigh in but I havent gone hungry at all..

Ever- Fab news.............many congratulations and dont forget to keep us posted...

Hi to everyone else....Im sorry I wasnt good enough to make notes today.....more personals next time....

Anyway 4 weeks today and we go to panel. We got our F1 form back last week and will see the SW sometime this week to go over anything we are not happy with. Its actually quite odd reading stuff about yourself and how other people see you!...Im glad to say that she put some wonderful stuff in their and makes me realise how strong and happy we are!..
The day after panel we are going camping with our 3 nephews and niece to the New Forest....I really hope that it warms up a bit..but just incase I have bought some thermals at the weekend!

Karen - Can you change my details to waiting for panel....we have already been told that we should expect a wait of around 18 months to be matched so its stilla long journey but are half way there!.


Ok back to work for me!

Take care everyone..

Natsxxx


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## donnalee (May 21, 2003)

Hi Karen. and everyone else.
About half way thru homestudy. been given a date of July7th for panel.

Jen- good luck for the prep course.

Donnalee xx


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## Danielle1 (Sep 8, 2004)

Hi Karen,

Can you add me to the list.  We have had the initial visit and are now awaiting prep course, hopefully will be invited on in April 2005.  I feel we are at the beginning of a very long road which is hard when we feel so ready to become a family.  Still following your story makes us feel that there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks 
Danielle.


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Hi,

Karen, please can you update me on the list as we had our initial visit today and have been invited to join a prep course later this year. [insert very excited but awe-struck icon here]

SW is trying to get us a 'last minute' place on the August course (there is only one place left which is being allocated on Wednesday) but, if course is full, then we are definately booked into the November course.

magenta x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Nat's,

WOW only 4 weeks to panel for you as well buddy    and then we can both join the expectant mummys club. I have joined the WW on line which is for the next 3 months. Day one so far and feeling good. I really want to be a slim(er) mummy especially for all the family snap shots   . good luck with this weeks weigh in.

My dad has been round tonight to look at what decorating we need to do and he is going to start it in a couple of weeks. It's amazing how many unfinished jobs we are getting under our belt.

Poor DH is really poorly with a flu like illness so we both hardly got anysleep last night, so i am really whacked, goodness know what i will be like with Little's being up in the night. 

Been round to one of my Friends today for a coffee in my lunch break, her son is 14 months old (IVF) and he was sooooooooooooooooo cute, and I kept thinking I could have one (or 2 eeeeeeeeeeek) just like you in a few months time, fingers crossed.

TTFN Mandyxxxxxxxxxxx


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Just heard back from social Worker and we are booked in for the August prep course (yippppeeeeeee!)

Hoping to join a local support group in the next month to get extra support and information whilst we wait.

A friend said something wonderful to me when she heard it would be 5 months until our course  " don't count the days - make the days count".

magenta x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi magenta

What a lovely saying  I must try to remember it.

Great news on your prep course date. August will be here before you know it. Mine was last July and in someways I don't know where the time 'has' gone? 

Mandyxx


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi Karen

thanks for the list can you update me - we completed course and are now doing home study 

thanks
LB


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi all,

am back to normal non-stressed self again!

The nurse sent a BP monitor home with me cos she thought I was just stressing cos of being in the doctors, and I've been testing it for the last few days.....all fine and normal! I'm just glad I got it all sorted out now rather than having waited till my medical was done to notice I was suffering from a touch of "white-coat syndrome"    which is a bit mental really as i wear a white coat (lab coat) at work every day!

Anyway who said brains were locigal eh!

I've got my 1-2-1 with SW next.......not sure what to expect, but know that we shouldn't go into details here! 

XXRuth.


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

We have got the dates for our March preparation course.  It is for 6 days, 3 days each week for 2 weeks, so have had to call my parents and parents in law in to look after our son.  We also have to drive an hour each way to the venue but it will be worth it I am sure.

LB - sounds like things are moving along  

Magenta - good news that you will be on the August preparation course.  

Nats/msw - won't be long now    Fantastic news that the end is in sight.

Donnalee - half way through your home study    That is brilliant news.  Once you got going it seems to have sped by  

Ruth - well done on having a normal bp.  Must be a relief  

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Mandy- I am starting to get a tad nervous about our panel date, I guess we have been building up to it for so long (17 months so far).....How are you coping   .
I am hoping that you are not being as silly as me!
Good luck on the WW. I went to my weigh in and lost another 2.5lb this week, only 1.5lb left till my first half a stone, and already I am feeling much better and positive about things.
I hope dh is on the road to recovery and will be fighting fit for panel!. Have they given you a rough time for matching??....I know we have a long wait!   Never mind!

Magenta- I found the waiting a bit tedious at the start but we just decided that thin gs would happen in there own time and I can honestly say that its flown by for us overall...

LB- Hope you are having fun on the home study..

Ruth- Glad to hear the BP is just fine, sometimes they make you worry about worrying and it makes it worse!..if you get my meaning.
Good luck on the 1-2-1. I found mine very easy didnt discuss half the things that I had thought up in the prior week! 

Jenny- Great news on the prep groups...you are well on your way now, this is when we found the time flew by!

Karen- Hope you are well, I guess you are a busy bee now with your girls.   

Hi to everyone else.....

We are just getting ready for Crufts.....I dont show but the company I work for has a stand there so 4 days of standing on my feet isnt what I call great fun, but the overtime wont go a miss.....maybe this will be my last one!...heres hoping anyway.

Byzeee bye

Natsxx


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## flymypretties (Feb 15, 2005)

We decided to take the plunge.  I contacted a local agency last week and we were sent some really helpful information.  My husband and I talked and talked...and talked some more.  An initial visit has been set up for next month.  I also spoke to a sw about a few of my concerns and she was so nice...she really set my mind at ease.  We're both nervous and excited at the same time. 

Good luck and lots of best wishes to everyone going through the process....it'll be worth it in the end


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Girls

Ruth - glad to hear the Bp has gone back to normal.  Don't worry about the 1-2-1 its great to talk things through without feeling that you and dh will talk over one another or one of you does all the talking.

Nats - good luck with panel date and congrats on the weight loss.

MSW - hope dh is better, not long to wait now!

Magenta - great news on the course dates

Jennifer - you will thoroughly enjoy the course, worth the drive.

Ever - Any news on any Form E's?

Our final review went well on Tuesday they've commented on what a good match it is.  We have a new SW although our old one is staying in touch as she wants to see it through.  The girls also have a new SW as their previous one is on long term sick and doesn't look like she'll return.  They've recommended we wait beyond the 16 weeks to apply to court for the final papers as once these are through all support from Social Services stop.  They want to make sure I cope with future changes such as returning to work!

Not much else going on here.  Going for only my second night out since having the girls tonight so looking forward to that.

Hope everyone else is well.
Bye for now
Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hope I've managed to capture all the updates people have given. Welcome to Flymypretties too,

* Post matching *

*Karen *: Approved at panel on 22nd April. First little girl moved in on 8/11/04, second little girl moved in on 9/12/04

*Bex *(Bex32): Approved at panel in April. X moved in on 8/11/04

*Ann*: Approved at panel on 4th November 2004. Matched to two girls, who moved in in January 2005.

*Cindy*: Approved at panel on 27th October 2004. Matched to a little boy who moved in Feb 2005.



* Post Panel/Awaiting Match *

*Caroline W*: Approved at panel in September, now awaiting a suitable match.

*Everhopeful*: Approved at Panel on 17th Feb 2005, now awaiting a suitable match


 * Waiting for Panel Date/Panel Result *

*Mandy* (MSW): Panel 3/3/2005

*Nat* (Crazy): Home assessment finished, waiting for panel date



* Home Study/Prep Course *

*Ruth*: Currently doing home assessment. Assigned a new SW now moved house. Panel may 2005?

*Ang* (Molly 2003): Course completed awaiting allocation of SW

*Kylie* (Boomerang Girl): Allocated SW. prep course Jan/Feb 05.

*Homer & Marge*: Prep course September.

*Nicola *(NickyDuncanFinn): Prep course Feb 2005

*Nicky*: Currently doing assessment

*Shannis*: Prep course starts 2/9/04

*Morgana*: Allocated SW, Prep course May 2005

*Donnalee*: Home assessment started. Panel date of 7/7/05 given

* LB *: Prep course starts in Jan 2005

* Georgia * Prep course starts 2/2/05

*Tracey H*: Allocated SW and attending prep course in Feb 2005.

* JenniferF* prep course starts 7/3/05

*Pam (saphy75) * Prep course in the Spring of 2005

* Paddy * *Adopting from RUSSIA * SW visit completed and course starts 3/12/04

* Val 12 * Prep course starts Feb 2005

* Jude2 * Prep course starts April 2005

* Danielle * Initial visit done, waiting for prep course dates

* Magenta * initial visit 21/2/05, prep course August 2005


* Initial Stages *

*Nerys (lochness)* Attending Foster Care Open evening on 27/01/05

* HelenB * Information Day with LA 17th December

* Nic (Hopingforbaby) * Currently considering the adoption option

* Flymypretties * Initial visit March 2005

* Natasha * Intro evening 11th Jan 2005



* Oh where oh where can they be! *

*Carol *(allineedisamircale): Currently doing home assessment (not sure if Carol is still posting?  )

*Jo *(jolene): Course completed, awaiting allocation of SW (not sure if Jolene is still posting?  )


Karen x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hi ladies

WARNING MOAN COMING ON   

I still haven't heard anything about my prep course  we were told it would be in march, surely they have the dates sorted out by now   
I know i should phone them and see whats going on but for some reason i just can't seem to bring myself to do it, i think i'm worried they are going to tell me i'm not on the course for some reason and my LA only run 2 courses a year so if i miss this one i have to wait until the autumn oh well better stop being a baby and give them a ring on monday, thanks for reading

MOAN OVER  

great to read you are all progressing well with your adoptions

pam xx


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## Val 12 (Oct 26, 2004)

Hi girls,
am on day 2 of our prep course and it's been great. The SW's are lovely and seem really approachable. Also all of the other couples are really nice and normal and down to earth. I think I was expecting some 'earth mother' types who would make me feel inadequate or who I couldn't relate to but they are lovely. Everyone else seems to have the same fears and concerns as dh and me so we're all supporting each other.

It's also really interesting, dh has enjoyed it much more than he thought and the guest speakers we've had have been wonderful as well as emotionally draining. The SW's have encouraged a few debates and the men in the group especially dh have a right old rant   I had to prod him in the ribs to shut him up at one point.

Anyway better go and take the dog out, hope everyone is ok and have a good weekend,

Val x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

yeah DHs are funny creatures when it comes to these things arent they!

mine was absolutely dreading ours last May, but then loved it so much he started proclaiming that everyone should go on one! Definately and all or nopthing tyoe of chap! gotta love him.....well, I do anyway! 

Pam....I'd definately get on the phone to them! 

have a nice weekend everyone!

XXRuth.


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## TraceyH (Apr 14, 2004)

Pam,  

I definitely agree that you should contact them.  We were supposed to be on our Preparation Course in September last year.  When I called them they said that we were reserves for that course and would be definitely be on the February one.  As it is we are on the March one and start our first 2 days next week and another 2 days the week after.  I ended up e-mailing our Social Worker and found that I got a quicker reply rather than going through the admin staff.

Today we have received the Itinerary for the course and it all looks very exciting, we can't wait to get started.  

Good Luck.

Tracey


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## Twinmummie (Jun 7, 2003)

Hi all

Glad everyone's getting on fine

Pam hope you get a good response on Monday and that your course will be in March  

Well we finished our prep course on Wednesday and am now waiting for our appt on the 15th March for assessment.Course was very interesting but boy very draining everytime I came home I was knackered.
Well goodluck to you all whatever stages you are at


Love Georgia
xxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Georgia - looking at your snugglepie ticker we are at very similar stages    We go on our preparation course on 7th March so glad to hear you enjoyed yours.  Good luck with starting the home study  

All the best

Jenny


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Girls,

XXXXX is down for his nap so I thought I would just pop on-line and catch up.

Karen, so pleased the final review went well although I never had doubts that it would.  When do you go back to work?

Pam it's a sad fact that you have to chase up SWs as they never come to you.  I know it's irritating and frustrating but you're always better off phoning up them than waiting for them to call.

Nats, congratulations on the weight loss, you've reminded me that I need to get my fitness levels up, it's hard work chasing after an energetic toddler  .  Hope your panel date comes through quickly.

Georgia and LB pleased to hear you enjoyed your courses, Jenny and Tracey, hope yours goes well.

Magenta, that's a lovely saying, hope you can make the days count between now and August.

Apologies to those I've missed as there are so many of us now but hope everything is going well.

XXXXX's met most of the family now and he charmed the pants off them.  Particularly hit it off well with my Dad, which is not surprising as my Dad often behaves like a big kid   

He's been so good and has slept through every night apart from Wednesday when he was suffering with a cold.  I had to take him out to buy him new shoes as he outgrew the ones he came with (word of warning to those who don't already know, kiddie's shoes are v. v. expensive!!).  The ladies in the shop thought he was lovely (especially his unusually long eyelashes) and made me feel so proud.

More showing off this afternoon as I'm taking him to visit an old work colleague and tomorrow we have a meet up with his foster family so that they can see that he's settled nicely with us.

Better go as the little boss man will be waking up wanting his lunch.

love
Cindy


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hey all,
wow jennifer, I can't believe how quickly your process is going. looks like its a bit of apost code lottery with adoption as much as fertility tx- it took three months for us to even get to an info evening because of staff shortages.

But, finally, here we are due to start our prep course on friday. Can't wait, but feeling a bit apprehensive about what will come about, how dh will respond, how emotionally draining the process will be etc. 

Did everyone else get the pack/booklet that is the prep course "curriculum" written by the BAAF?  We got that and also had to do a child observation each. Problem is I think I wrote too much- child development is something I'm paid to know about.

Cindy its lovely to hear how it is going with the little one.  Karen what is the normal time for the adoption hearing then? I read somewhere recently some places recommend a year now. Can't remember where though.


I really hope there are no role plays on this course or group bonding games. I'll have to tie DH to his seat to make him stay and I'm not keen either. 

We had my two nieces round last night- 2 and 5- they were having a whale of the time- lemonade went everywhere, there was lots of squealing and fun had, and the place was a bomb site after- I think DH found it a bit daunting actually!!

anyone else have moments of uncertainty from partners?

kylie
xx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi there ladies

Hope everyone is well. No news on my front so far. I think because our SW had "sort of" linked us with 3 possibly 4 children before panel, I'd had this idea that we'd be inundated with form e's after panel! WRONG!! So far we've heard nothing... but then it's only been 10 days so I shouldn't be so impatient! I think because my best friend has given birth to her new baby in this last week, it's left me yearning for mine even more than normal! He is an absolute beauty though - we met him this morning and I could've easily brought him home with us!!
In the meantime I am busily organising last minute items for the nursery - bought a cot bumper (from ebay, brand new) - just incase we get a wee one! (And if not if may come in handy for the next!!). Our biggest struggle so far is locating a quilt or even just a quilt cover - for a cot bed (+ pillowcase of course!). We've seen loads in varying baby shops but all themed and none of which match our colour scheme. Our room is pastelly colours - lemon, orange, green etc etc, made up with accessories from Mamas and Papas Sunshine Safari (v.v.v.v. expensive and not willing to pay £54 for their quilt set!) and Jenny Giraffe (now discontinued and cannot get anywhere!!) So we are stuck! Not necessarily wanting one of these matching schemes, just the colours to co-ordinate! Can't find a shop in the land that sells plain quilt covers for a cot-bed size.... Anyone have any clues? Would like a plain lemon or similar... anyone seen one somewhere? Anywhere?!!! 
They seem to sell actual cot beds virtually everywhere but not the bedding... oh yes I can find blankets and sheets but no quilt covers! 

Anyway, I'll let you know if I manage to locate one - a quilt that is, also if we locate our child!!

*Mandy* - not long to go now... hope your nerves coping ok. You will be fine - it's really not half as bad as you think, and it'll fly by (we were only in 10 mins max)!
Speak to you before Thursday though.

Take care

xx


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## Sara M (Aug 4, 2003)

Hi everyone

I do keep up to date with what is going on and love hearing all your stories.

Everhopeful - Have you looked on E-bay?  There are Jenny Girraffe sets on there going for between £20 - 30 which is more reasonable.
Also do you have  MAKRO near you? they also have some Mamas and Papas stuff in at reduced prices

Hope this helps

Sara


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Folks

Just been printing off some phot's for my frames from the piccy's Mum and Dad took when my nieces were over.  I've had great fun creating some wonderful black and white phot's of the girls.

Pam - ring them.  Hope you get the dates you are after.

Georgia - Congrats on finishing the course and good luck for the assessment.

Cindy - its so lovely to hear that your little one is geting settled and meeting all his new family.  Hope the visits with the FP's goes well.  were off to see the youngests one's soon and she now has care of a 5 week old baby.

Kylie - good luck for Friday.  Don't worry about DH, me and mine are the same, but everyone is in the same boat and equally nervous.  Our ice breaker was something to with our name, to try and emphasise the importance of birth names to an adoptive child.  Was interesting as a guy on our course was adopted and in those days to was more acceptable to change their names, so it gave a good perspective.

Jenny - good luck for your course too.

Ever - we had the same issue too.  Could get cot quilts but not cot bed one's.  Have you tried the zorbit website?  They seem to do most of the bedding for high street stores, so may do some plain things to go with the sheets?

Nothing else to report here, just checking the board and making sure I'm up to speed.

Love
Karen x


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Buddies

Well this is the week we have been working toward for the past 8 months, panel is on Thursday,    . I am both excited and nervous  only 3 sleeps to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Some friends of ours who we met at the training went to panel 3 weeks ago and they have already got a possible match, a baby boy 11 months old. I am sooooooooooooo happy for them.  

I would be over the moon to be matched quickly but will try to keep level headed as I know the wait could be a lot longer.  

Plans to keep my busy for the next few weeks, DIY, shopping, reading, loosing weight. Joined WW on line last week and I have lost 3lb in my first week. I am so pleased because I really want to be a slim mummy on our family picture.

Ever, thanks for thinking of me. I know I am going to be counting the days following panel, this is going to be much worse than the . We too are decorating the nursery. We have been given some new curtains and a quilt cover form mother care, but wanted a cot bed quilt to match, looked on the mother care web site and its £34.00 which seems a bit expensive. I love ebay and am always looking for a bargin. I hope you get some form e's soon.

TTFN Mandyxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

Mandy.....OMG I am getting so nervous for you too, we have 3 weeks left and the time is flying by. Hopefully ti wont go too slow this week. Is your panel in the am or pm?. As far as I am aware ours will be mid morning.....I have everything crossed for you!.
Great news on your friends possible match and so quick too...its mad seeing as we have been told around 18 months wait!...maybe we will get some luck and it will happen sooner than that?!..I hope seo because you medicals run out the end of this year, which means going back and having them done again!..bummer!
Forgot to say...well done on the weight loss!

Karen-Glad that motherhood is everything you ever dreamed of...and they are keeping you busy to..its so lovely to hear how happy you all are as a family.  

Ever- Hoping that you hear something soon....the waiting never seems to get easier does it?!

Kylie- I think what youa re feeling is normal. I guess for the men they tend to be quieter, although my dh amused everyone at the prep groups and it went down well, hes always life and soul.....even out F1 form says that he has a great sense of humour etc etc.  

Cindy- Its lovely to hear how xxx has settled in so welll and making his mummy proud already!..and that you dad bonded so well with him. I hope the visit to the foster family went well too. 

Pam- I agree, its always best to call them if you want to know anything. If you havent already I hope they have good news for you!.

Hi to everyone else I have missed...

Love Natsxx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

hi girls

thanks for your replies, i called the ss a couple of mins ago  still none the wiser as the lady who sets up the prep groups is not in until this afternoon  but they are leaving a message for her to call me later. so i guess i'm going to be stuck in all day waiting next to the phone    it's snowy outside anyway so i don't think i would of gone far today anyway  

mandy i bet you are soooo excited, i know i would be    i'm sure you go through panel with flying colours, and very well done on your weight loss  

nats hope the time keeps flying hun, you are getting so close to being a mummy now  

karen i love reading about all the things you get up too with your girls, bet it was great having your nieces over to play with your little girls, you must of felt so proud  

huge hello to everyone else, loved that line a read on here the otherday about not counting days but making everyday count. i am trying to make that my motto   

pam xx


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

yeh I love that quote about not counting the days but making everyday count too!
I've got it in my sig now on the other website.

kylie

xx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

morning girls

i'm in a great mood today, we have our dates     

was getting quite worried especially as yesterday afternoon the lady that called me back had never heard of me and i wasn't on her list   luckily wires had been crossed and i was talking to the lady who runs fostering courses  

my social worker (well not mine but i've spoken to her a few times) called a few min ago to give me the course dates they are in april (not march) on the 12th, 16th, 23rd and the 26th. only 6 weeks away   not that i'm counting days  

pam xx

P.s. can you tell i'm a little bit excited  goodness knows what i'll be like  when we start properly


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Pam - congratulations on getting a date for the April preparation course.    We start ours on Monday  

Hi to everyone else.

Jenny


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## Nats (Aug 22, 2003)

I just want to wish MANDY all the very best for tomorrow......
I will be thinking of you!... I know you will sail through..

      

Love Natsxxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Mandy

Good luck for tomorrow, I am sure you will be fine.  Can't wait for your post to say you are officially expecting!!

Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Karen and Bex - can i pick your brains please about form e's?

We've been picked out by a child's sw as a possible match! Heellllppppp! Initially was very excited when my sw described this little person over the phone to me this morning. Full of jelly all afternoon but when i saw the form e - well the christian names of the child, that excitement faded. Definate put-off. Reading rest of the form and the child's profile especially they sound gorgeous but couldn't get the name out of my head. I know it sounds daft. Me and dh have mulled it over and agree it sounds great if we can choose another name to use, but now I'm thinking should I dismiss it all together because of these feelings? My thoughts behind this are that our sw said that "we'll know" when we get the right one and that if we're not 100% happy with the form e that we should say no. I don't know how to know (if you understand), this is the first positive form e we've seen and although we feel excited, is that just because it's our first? Did you both know instantly? Or would it be right to mull over the weekend and really think about it? Im sort of thinking that if we need to think if over that much, then it can't be "the one". See what I mean?!

 Or possibly speaking with the child's sw and seeing a photo might just swing it?!! Don't know how we should feel cos we've never done this before!


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Thinking of you tomorrow Mandy - you will be fine, it'll whizz past and all the hard work will be worth it!

Best of luck (you won't need it)

Can't wait to read your next post....


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Thanks for you good wishes buddies.

Will post asap to let you all know the outcome.

Thanks Mandyx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

GOOD LUCK TODAY MANDY ​
i'll be thinking of you today, although i'm sure everything will go great 

pam xx


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

are u off to panel mandy?  good luck!!! x x x

well, I have a very bad feeling this snow in kent will mean our course gets cancelled tomorrow- everywhere is closed today nd the roads are thick with ice! prob is, if they re schedule for early next week, dh prob won't be able to get the time off at such short notice because things are so hectic in his dept and he manages it.  Worst case scenario I can see us having to wait for the next course and that could be up to six months knowing this social services- this is unbearable!!


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Mandy - hope all went well for you today - I'm sure it did and you are now expectant parents  

Boomerang girl - I hope that your course doesn't get cancelled tomorrow because of the weather.  I hadn't thought of that.  Our course starts on Monday so I hope the snow stays away.

All the best to everyone 

Jenny


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Thought I would share these with you:-

Legacy of an adopted Child

Once there were two women who never knew each other.
One you do not remember, the other you call mother.
Two different lives shaped to make you one.
one became your guiding star, the other became your 
sun.
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you 
to live it.
The first gave you a need for love, the second was 
there to give it.
One gave you nationality, the other gave you a name.
One gave you a talent, the other gave you an aim.
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears.
one saw your first sweet smile, the other dried your 
tears.
One sought for you a home that she could not provide,
The other prayed for a child and her hope was not 
denied.
And now you ask me through your tears
The age-old question, unanswered through the years.
Heredity or environment, which are you a product of?
Neither, my darling, Neither - just two different kinds 
of love.

Author unknown.

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ADOPTED

Primary school children were discussing a picture of a family.  One little boy in the picture had a different colour hair than the other family members.  One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, "I know all about 
adoptions because I am adopted."  What does it mean to be adopted" asked another child.  "It means" said the first child, "that you grew in your mother's heart instead of her tummy".


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Jennifer, that is a lovely poem, makes me feel so good about being an adoptive mother.

Mandy, good luck for today, although I'm sure you won't need it.

Ever, you can change the name, and it's such a small thing if everything else is right.  We were lucky as XXXXX's name was one that I'd already chosen for a boy if my pg had lasted so I'm more than happy to keep it but we are changing one of his middle names to one that we had picked out for any possible birth sons.  To me a photo is more important and we insisted that we wanted to see a photo as well as the Form E.  Bear in mind that there is no legal binding from a Form E, you are just expressing an interest.  Part of the purpose of the introduction meetings is to make sure that you are right for the child but also that the child is right for you but as it is an emotional thing to go through it's best to try and be as sure as possible before you reach that point.

Kylie, hope your course wasn't cancelled. 

Pam, congratulations on your date coming through.

Karen, it sounds like you've been like us, taking loads of photos  

We had a positive meeting with the foster family at a Wacky Warehouse pub, his foster Mum said that she had been unsure whether to go ahead with it as some other Foster Mums had said it can be difficult and it's better to have a clean break.  However she said she was glad she had because he was obviously very settled and happy.  Although he was happy enough to see them and cuddle them he didn't try to go to them instead of us.  There was one moment where he fell over, although he was not hurt he burst into tears from the shock.  When I carried him back to our table I admit I was afraid that he would turn to her for comfort but he didn't even look at her and was happy for me to cuddle/distract him.  Made Lee and I feel so good.  We've said that we would send Xmas cards but we will not be seeing them again.

Yesterday was the first visit from the Health Visitor and everything is well.  He completely charmed her and her parting shot was "If you don't want him, I'll have him.

Lee and I are back to work next week, 2 days for me and 3 days for him so both of us can share in the babycare.  So a whole new routine to get used to.

Hope everyone else is well.

love
Cindy


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## bex32 (Sep 18, 2004)

Hi Everhopeful... Don't make a decision on the childs name.  We had our inital information about our son for a while before we knew his name and it really didn't come in to it.  We respect his birth name and because he was 17 months when we got him we felt a bit late to change it.  However, i don't think he would of been confused if we changed it... I normally call him baby bird!! to which he smiles and laughs... I have a friend who calls her adopted son "bean", it just thought of stuck and that is what all his friends and family have called him for years.... So DO NOT be influenced by a name, even if it is a football team!!  It can be changed/altered.  Go with the flow for now untill you have met his SW and know alot more about him and his situation.  Hope this helps  Bex


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## Wizz (Nov 6, 2002)

Hi Gang
I hope you don't mind me butting in - I love this thread and we're seriously consdering the adoption ourselves. Have just asked for information packs from three local LAs. We still have a Tx review booked in April and might give ICSI a final go but in the meantime didn't think it would hurt to assess our options on the local adoption front!

Ever - i know exactly what you mean but i agree with the others that if everything else is right then why not ask to see a photo? I don't know if any of you saw it but there was a documentary about adoption on TV some years ago. In it the couple were adopting a couple of slightly older girls and for them changing names wasn't really an option, however the couple involved weren't at all keen on one of the girls names. The way they took it forward was to introduce a nick name that they were happy with that was derived from the original name. As far as i remember the adoption proceeded successfully.  

Look forward to seeing a post from mandy!

Wizz


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi buddies

Panel went really well this morning and we have been approved          

I am going to be a mummy   

Off for some of the fizzy stuff, so will check in later.

TTFN Mandyxxxx


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

*WELL DONE MANDY*

 Congratulations! Brilliant news, one giant step to becoming a mummy and daddy!

Ever xx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

FANTASTIC NEWS MANDY​
hopefully you will be matched very soon

pam xx


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## bex32 (Sep 18, 2004)

Hi Mandy  Congratulations on being approved.  The hard bit over with, now just sit tight knowing that out there some where is your baby boy or girl.  It will happen thats for sure, just enjoy your time together whilst waiting.  When we were approved our little boy was in the system waiting for a new mummy and daddy and fate brought us together... the rest is history, he is more of us every day and it is every thing we all hope it to be!!  Enjoy your fizzy, you deserve it!!  Love Becky x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Mandy

Congratulations to you and your dh.  Hope you don't have long to wait for a match.

Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ever

Like Bex we didn't know the girls names or see photos for a few weeks but given the information we had we knew the pieces were right, just needed to put faces and names to it.  Although we dislike one of the girls middle names, we haven't changed any of them, we are happy with their christian names and that's what they get called by.

If the circumstances feel right and SS are happy for a name change, request to see photo's and maybe meet the FP's to get more info (something we did before deciding to progress).

Good luck

Could be having a family summer holiday........

Karen x


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Congratulatiosn Mandy......hope you enjoyed the bubbles yesterday!

XXXRuth.


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Great news Mandy -      have you come down off   yet  

All the best

Jenny


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi ladies - thanks for all your thoughts. They are very much appreciated!

We have a meeting arranged with the child's sw in a couple of weeks. Feeling so much more positive about it. Starting to "see" the little person behind the big name! She (yes it's a little girl!) sounds beautiful, and everything else feels so right at the moment. We've been told that we'll see a photo (hopefully) when her sw comes. Our Form F was sent along with 2 or 3 other couples  before we'd even been approved! And her sw has chosen us as top couple! (Amazed me, can't think why!) Anyway our only concern now is that the sw will like us as much as she did from our form and confirm us as a match for little xxxx. We also are hoping that seeing the photo will confirm how we feel already about her, and not the opposite. That's my biggest dread, that we have 2+ weeks to get excited and dreaming of her as ours, and then   and  .
This is the toughest time of all right now, but we are so excited and already are planning things for her (and we don't even know her yet) !!!

Anyway, I'll keep you posted and keep your fingers crossed for me that the meeting with xxxx's sw goes the way we're praying for!

Bye for now
Ever xx


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

ever i'm soooo excited for you, keeping everything crossed that this little girl will soon be your little girl       

pam xx


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Ever,

keeping you in my prayers and hoping that this little girl is either destined to be yours (and a name change/nickname - however subtle - is possible) or that your little one is waiting round the corner should this one not be suitable for whatever reason.

Ever  - the wait might be longer than a 2ww but it will be 100 times worth it when you and your child are matched.

much love

magenta xx


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

CONGRATULATIONS MANDY!!

Knew you'd do it, hope you enjoyed your bottle of fizz and you're soon matched up and having to post late at night like the rest of us Mums.

Ever, the next two weeks may seem like the longest time (for us as well waiting for your next news) but they will fly by and be over before you know. We'll keep our fingers crossed for your meeting with the little girl's SW.

Wizz, welcome to the board. I know you've been through the mill a few times and if you decide to go for ICSI again I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Not much to report here, normal routine - changing smelly nappies, heating up milk, cleaning up yoghurt and getting bashed round the head with toy cars. You girls sure you want to join in?    Only joking, can't recommend motherhood more highly and can't wait until everybody else gets their own little bundles of joy.

Have a great weekend.
love
Cindy


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

congratulations mandy!
hope you enjoyed the bubbly and you don't have a sore head this morning.

our first day of prep course went well. one question though- and I know the politically correct answer is "anyone can adopt- we even have couples who are unemployed" but in reality, how much dosh does everyone have (I don't need specifics, just an idea). dh commented to me yesterday that all the other couples appeared quite well off, driving their mercs, oozing a comfotable life etc, and dh said he thought, other than perhaps one or two couples, we would be stretching ourselves a lot more financially. I think part of the situation that he is referring to is that our income would drop  lot- my salary makes up just over half our 60 grand a year income, so dropping back to 100 a week, then nothing after six months, will have a huge impact. we are trying to put extra aside now, and if our car loans are still running when we adopt, we well chuck them in with the mortgage (its one of those offset thingies). I know eventually I will be able to work again, but for the year or two I don't, does anyone have any advice or inspirational stories?


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Boomerang girl,

I haven't been in the process long enough to know the norms but our SW seemed delighted to have us joining a prep course later this year and we don't earn anywhere near £60K between us.  We have a very small 3 bed semi and only have my company car - but I am hoping that we'll manage.  

I see young families in our area living on benefits who manage to feed their kids healthy meals and enjoy activities together so...if they can do it...well I guess we can too. I don't suppose it costs any more to raise an adopted child, does it?

I think it is what you put into being a mum that is important  - not what you can afford to spend.  

not sure this is helpful but didn't want to read and run.

magenta x


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

morning ladies

i have recieved written confirmation of the prep course dates this morning    just need to send the forms back to say we can attend all 4 days 

also the letter advises we apply for the CRB check and has enclosed instructions how to complete this   the nice surprise is - it's free, i was expecting to have to pay for it, i thought we might have to put it on our credit card so we could start the checks straight away. but it would appear our LA is picking up the bill   

 @ cindy being bashed up by toy cars, i must remember when i get matched to only buy soft toys  

mandy i think we will be streched finacially too (only my dh works and doesn't earn half what you 2 earn) but we will manage and so will you 

have a great weekend everyone

pam xx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Evening buddies

Thanks for all your good wishes. We should get the approval in writting by the end of  next week and then it will be all systems go for a match, fingers crossed  Ring phone, ring      

Ever, wow it sound like you are well on the way to being matched with your little girl, this is just fantastic news  . i am sure the next 2 weeks will feel like forever but i am sure the wait will be worth it. can't wait to here the next instalment.  

Cindy lol !! how are the lumps for the cars? Motherhood sounds just great.  

Boomerange, don't worry about the money, we are all in the same boat but we will cope, and i am sure you will too. SS are more concerned with your support networks etc than how much you earn, so try not to worry to much.

Karen, Bex, Cindy and all the other new mummys have a great Mothers day tomorrow. 


Mandyxx


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## magenta (Nov 2, 2004)

Happy Mothers Day to all.  whether you are a mummy, a mummy-to-be or whether you are still journeying through the adoption process.


Magenta x


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## Boomerang girl (Jan 24, 2004)

hi thanks you two,
reassuring to know it is not just us on a normal income! by the way it is me kylie, not mandy, asking the money questions!
I guess it is dh's general psyche- feeling inadequate- picture it- zero sperm, 10 grand a year less than dw, less qualifications, feels he is overweight (trust me, I never ever mention this stuff it is him- he is the one who brings up bmis- I prefer him bigger because we are the same height, but he is actually tall and slim in my books!!!-and as for the sperm factor, I judge a good dad on someone who is able to listen to, support, love and laugh with their child, not have to provide the sperm for the conception........

and how do you ever switch the money factor when both have progressed to the same amount career wise, but one started with a degree salary? it will always go higher?
what I have done, is fish out about the adoption leave pay- the 103 pounds a week- even though i  am a teacher my school can't pay any more- and i have also looked into the child benefit and child tax thingy. which makes up just over 1/4 of my salary. so i will just start to save more and more!!!

it is a challenge though. I agree with you guys. there is no way that money makes a good adoptive couple, but its more about how to survive financially after adopting, when it means losing half your income for a year, which is what it will be after allowances etc if I take the full year off (after that I intend to go back part time)


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Hi Boomerang girl.  My dh earns £26K a year, I don't work (not done for 5 years), we don't get any benefits as dh earns too much and we have one child already but we manage fine so don't worry about it.  You will find that you just have to cut back but you will still have a reasonable amount of money to live on.  My brother has 3 children and a wife, does get benefit and he earns £20K a year, his wife works part time in the evenings and he has a lovely house and car and goes abroad on holiday every other year so it can be done 

All the best

Jenny


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Girls

Ever - good luck with the meet hope its not long before you will be posting that she'll be moving in, all being well of course.

Mandy - hope you hear soon.

Kylie - money is a help, but its the love that you will be giving the child that is more important.  SS will want to see that you've thought about how adopting will affect you financially not just taking time off but in the longer term.  Hope you enjoy the course.

Pam - we didn't pay for our CRB checks either.  I don't know of anyone who has.

Cindy - you wait 'til he gets a drum brought for him!!!  We had some nosiy toys brought for the kids at Xmas by SIL/BIl and the kindly gave us the ear plugs to go with them.  Eldest is really good at playing it when i'm on the phone!!  In reply to your question a while ago.  i don't go back to work until 11th July (not that I'm counting!)

Hope everyone else is ok.

Well I can't believe where time has gone, today our eldest has been with us for 4 months and tomorrow youngest will have been here 3 months.  Hard to believe I've been off work for so long too.

Bye for now
Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi there ladies, I'll just warn you I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself!......

After a week of feeling very excited over possible match, today we've had meeting with our own SW to chat over the form E and about what to expect when we meet the child's sw next week etc... Don't get me wrong, nothing's changed or bad has happened, just the sparkle taken away slightly.
We have no quarms over the little girl's profile at all, infact we've very nearly fallen in love with her (which I'm finding could be very dangerous). Our SW has really hilighted the process again - you know, all the little things that could go wrong. Upto now we've concentrated our thoughts on excitement over getting a child and imagining allsorts. And then like a smack in the face you remember you're in the middle of the adoption process, and we still have to be matched by the child's sw etc etc etc. Please don't mind me while I wallow a bit!
Do you know what I mean?! 
Our sw is going to visit the foster family to test the waters, ask questions and see xxxx for herself. I know this is good, because she will report back to us anything she finds out - but that's the problem, I don't want her to find any problems. Silly, I know 

I know it's just anxiety and what will be, will be... but I'm wanting to hide myself away and come back out when it's all sorted! Next week we'll know for sure.
Just wait the big wait now!

I'll be in touch. Thanks for listening!


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever

So sorry you are feeling a little low at the moment, but I am sure all thatwhat you are feeling is totally natural. We learn to sheild ourselves from hurt but when we are in the middle of a process such as this, we can feel very vulnerable. I am sure that in the end everything will be just fine. Hang in there buddy, sending you a big cyber hug.(((((((())))))))))))

Mandyxxx


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## bex32 (Sep 18, 2004)

Hi Ever
I was the same as you whilst i waited for the matching process to progress.  Deep down you feel confident but on the outside you put up a few barriers to protect yourself.  I think oweing to the years of uncertainty we become use to erring on the side of caution.  What will be will be, and when things start to move, boy they move fast! so hold on...

Whats new our end... well xxxx has really settled in, he has been a real pickle the last week.  Started due to being sick for a few days, after we went to a mother and toddlar group.  He was really clingy and quiet. Now he is the opposite!! Tantrum after tantrum! Blimey where do they come from?? NO mummy. no mummy is his favorite phrase at the mo and then runs in the opposite direction.  I have gone from feeling like i had some control of him to none in a couple of days! We had to go into town today to get a few bits but he played up so much i came home with nothing. Kids and shopping don't mix, i'll go at the week end... I guess i find no harder than the next person but i do wonder if we had had him from birth would we of also learned better coping stratagies? who knows.  I have always loved kids and my neice and nephew stayed alot and where no problem, but your own kids are a different kettle of fish!! They push you to the limit, it is really stressful at times!! NOt wanting to put you all off, but any tips in dealing with the terrible twos would come in handy...(xxxx is 21 months now).
Great news is that his sister now has a care order so we are proceeding with our adoption and matching panel on the 30th!! and i am stressed now!! Testing times ahead, but character building none the less... We would never of dreamed that 16 months from starting our adoption journey we would have a son and a daughter!! we really are blessed...(easy to say now xxxx is asleep!) Will keep you postedxxx I am going to restart my adoption leave from work just as xxxx was due to finish, so i would of had a year off with them by the time i return!! I have been sooo lucky to have had this time with them, and then be paid again for the second, who said the NHS was a poor service!  best wishes to all Becky xxxx 's frazzled mum, but a happy one!! xxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Bex

I know the feelings all too well, you wake up one morning with a completely different child.  Our eldest has just decided to scream if she doesn't get her way and today she has hit me and pulled my hair.  The 'naughty' chair works wonders in our house and we have an excalation process.  If it doesn't work (rare occasions) its bed, shut the door and wait for them to calm down (usually two mins, they say 1 min per year of life).

I've now started to avoid going shopping with them unless I really have to as eldest ends up trying to push youngest out of the trolley.  MIL has them this afternoon so I can do the food shopping in peace (she does it each week for me and its a godsend).  I get paranoid that peoplethink ill of me if I have badly behaved children.  All she is doing is testing me and trying to push me over the edge.

The best thing we find is the time out, naughty chair or if out, sat quietly on one of our laps.  Hope you find something that works for you.

Ever - I think Bex is right we go into protection mode so we can preserve our sanity.  Just remember there is alot at stake for all concerned if it is not right, but the rewards are plentiful afterwards (even with the terrible two's!!!)

Karen x


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## LB (Sep 24, 2003)

Hi

Congratulations Mandy on being approved - hope the fizzy stuff was tasty!

LB


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi LB 

Yes thanks it was good.  

Well girls one week down how many more to go  Not got the official letter of approval yet. 

No other news from a chilly north west  

Plans for the weekend, go to our cottage in the lakes. Parents have been away for 2 weeks and are back on Sunday so will have a mini celerbration with them  as they missed our approval last week, plus they were away for mothers day and my mums birthday aswell. 

Keep scaning e bay for any good baby bargins.   but apart from that all is quiet.

TTFN Mandyxx


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## jude2 (Oct 2, 2004)

HI everybody,

Just wrote a massive long post and then managed to somehow lose it.

You are lucky to have excaped though as it was a ramble and a half.

I can hardly get on here now as I can;t access it at work so have to fit it in in the evenings.  So much to catch up on.  Was supposed to be out tonight at a free champagne restaurant opening with SIL but she cancelled as she is knackered.  So am I and much happier to be sitting here in my pjs in front of tele (though husband is watching football).  Actually now he is reading the huge folder that our sw left for us.  She ticked him off a bit for leaving reading to me.  Some of it is rather academic and wordy so I am not sure how much of it he will get through.  

Mandy:  congratulations on being approved.  let's hope your wait is not too long.

Ever:  sorry you are feeling a bit down but it is good news that you have a potential match.  Everything about IF and adoption seems to be a mass of conflicting emotions and ups and downs.

We met our sw and she is really nice and was very encouraging saying we should have panel by October and then match within a few months.  She also said they have a lot of younger children so not to go too high with ages.  But trying to take it with a pinch of salt.

Prep course is April 14th/15th and 20th (similar to you Pam?).  And we have a meeting with SW every week between now and then.  have done family trees this weeks homework and filled our police form in.

Don;t worry too much about money.  They don't seem to be that bothered,  but easier said than done.  I am actually lucky to earn quite a lot but your lifestyle and mortgage end up matching your income so you still have sort of the same worries, though not really and I know that sounds trite if you do have real worries.  We did in the past and I know what it is like.  But lots of people have children without much money and just cope.

Good luck to everybody:  sorry if there is anybody I have missed out.

I see I have managed to make this post massive as well, but other one was even longer!

Love
Jude
xxx


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

We are halfway through our preparation course which is interesting in the main but lots of role play which I dislike.

Bex - Wonderful that your son is settling in so well.  I found with my natural son that he was dreadful to go shopping with as he got bored very quickly and then had a tantrum soon after, and then another.  What gave me a bit of time whilst shopping was to give my son a packet of crisps to eat in his buggy while we were going round the shops - waited until he began to get fed up and then gave him the crisps which gave me another 35 mins of shopping time so could go shopping for about an hour all in.  The best thing to do re tantrums (if at home) is just to leave the room for a couple of minutes (you can listen outside the door).  Don't give the child any attention and they will soon stop when they don't have an audience, then praise and give lots of cuddles and kisses.

Jude - all sounding good 

Hi to everyone else.

Bye for now

Jenny


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## Natasha (Sep 21, 2004)

Hi Girls,
I haven't posted on here for ages, but i'm really pleased to see everyone is getting on so well.
I've just rang our LA to arrange a home visit and she's not there till monday 
Just a quick question. Is the person that comes to do your home visit your SW?
Do they tell you then when you go on your course or do they come back to you?
I was having a few doubts but now that it has come around again, and they have phoned i'm really looking forward to it. I could be a mummy really soon  
Hope you are all well
Take care
Tasha


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi all,

had my 1-2-1 last night and you were all right....very relaxed and i had a very dry throat afterwards from all the talking. DH's is on monday then the following monday we our final structured session, then all is left is a tying up session.....can't believe it gone so quickly after all the delays in the start!

In relation to terrible twos I think Jenny has hit the nail on the head. I do some voluntary work with kids of families that are going through tough times, and what we're always told is to praise all the time for good positive behaviour and ignore the irritating behaviour (like tantrums). Obviously if the child is going to hurt themselves or anyone else you have to intervene.  It's quite difficult to do, but the results can be seen quite quickly.

A weekend of rugby ahead, but at least this year we (Ireland) might actually have a chance of doing well! Are there any other rugby fans on here? 

XXRuth.


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Ruth

I used to play!!!  I played second row for a few seasons for our local ladies team.  I love rugby (prefer it to footie).  Still have fond memories of watching England win the World Cup on a fried breakfast and pints of Guiness in the local pub at 8.30a.m.!!!

Karen x


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Tasha - I was told that we wouldn't be allocated our sw until after we had been on the preparation course so the sw that came for home visit wouldn't necessarily be the same sw as we would be allocated, although could be.


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## Wizz (Nov 6, 2002)

Karen - I used to play second row as well when i was at university! (long time ago - the points rules were different then!) Re the world cup - we had to turn it off - couldn't stand the tension of watching but needed to know so switched on ceefax and watched the score go up!  

Have made requests for info packs to 3 local LAs. 2 of them won't send them out without screening via telephone first so had a phone conversation with someone from the LA we live in today. Quite interesting in that i got the distinct impression that they were very much trying to put us off. which i do understand. I reitterated a couple of times that I understood that we couldn't proceed until we had made a firm decision to not continue with IF Tx. I got the impression that she was reluctant to even send info because we hadn't made that final decision... but she said she would send a pack. It was interesting that she also said that because the LA is so small all their adopters go straight into the local consortium and onto the national list when it comes to matching rather than having to wait for a local match so that sounded quite good to me. Also got a pack from a neighbouring LA but to be honest it didn't really say anything that i didn't already know. 

anyway really pleased to see that things are progressing for so many of you. this really is my favourite thread!

wizz


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## morgana (Aug 31, 2004)

Hi all,

Sorry I've been quiet for ages but I am back now. Have not had time to catch up on all the news (just dipped my toe into the main threads....my hasn't everyone been busy) looks like 2005 is going to be a busy year for prep courses, panel and mummy's to be.

Good news from our side...it's full steam ahead. Got our SW, done 2 prep days (final 2 in a fortnight) Home Study about to start, already been introduced to our Form F. So we will definitely get to panel this year at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later.

So Karen..can you update me (she says with a big grin on her face)

Will pop in for a proper chat once I've caught up with all the posts so I can actually say intelligent things rather than generalized babble...lol

Morgana x


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## Natasha (Sep 21, 2004)

hi jennifer
thanks for your reply 
i'm really looking forward to the visit now. just need to make one!!!
Thank you for replying hopefully i'll be back on this post soon with some good posts  
Hope you are all well
Take Care
Tasha x x x x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi girls

Hope everyone is well. No news from my end but feeling more optimistic. Let's face it, there's no point worrying about things that may never happen. Might as well crack on with everyday living, until we know otherwise. Although if I'm honest, I do think every now and again, what xxxxx might be upto and how she's feeling! Can't help myself!

*Mandy* - I wouldn't worry about your confirmation letter - we've not had ours yet and it's been nearly a month!!  We've put our SW on the case (we'd been told we'd receive it in 10days)... maybe they've changed their minds!! Sure we'll both hear something soon.


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Hi Ever,

Our friends who we met on prep course with the same LA have been waiting over a month for there letter too, but i think I will phone up if does not come in the post tomorrow 

No other news from me, just waiting   and trying really hard to be patient. DIY coming along nicely, our room looks great, hall stairs and landing 1/2 done and then it will be the nursey, yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Chat soon Mandyxx


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## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Hi,

we have our panel date. It was supposed to be in May, but our SW is away one week and we know someone on one of the panels so we can't go to that one, so we've been booked onto one of the 2nd of June! Looking out my office window at this horrible gray wintery day June and summertime seems like and eternity away! But it'll fly by I'm sure!

SW brought around some old Form Es to have a look at and I was pleased to see the examples she took for us were all under 5 even though we said we'd consider up to 8......which we will, but can't help being drawn to the younger ones!

I've a really busy day tomorrow, so in case I don't get a chance to check in Happy St. Patricks Day to you all!  

XXRuth.

PS I haven't been brave enough to actually play rugby yet, but will do sometime before I'm too old, and have a guess where I'll be most likely to be positioned......the second row!!! We must be good strong girls on this board eh?!


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## Mummyof2 (Jul 31, 2003)

Ruth - congratulations on getting a panel date.  It will soon be here  

All the best to everyone

Jenny


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## cindyp (Apr 7, 2003)

Hi Ladies

Haven't been on for a while as I've been experiencing the joys (not) of being a sick mother.  Unfortunately it was supposed to be our first week back at work and I come down with a flu type bug the day before Mothers Day  .  XXXXX couldn't work out why his Mum didn't want to take him for a walk outside and why he had to wait until his Dad came back from work for anything really fun to happen whilst his Mum went back to bed.  Fortunately I'm recovered now although I feel that I've built up a major sleep deficit!

Ruth, congratulations on getting a panel date.

Mandy Ever's right, don't worry about the confirmation letter too much, it's simply normal admin delays.  The main thing is you went to the panel and they approved you.

Ever, know how you feel waiting for news, unfortunately I can only say that the horrible waiting feeling only goes away when the child comes to your home.

Bex, what's this terrible two's business? I'm sure it starts earlier.  XXXXX was having a major tantrum today because I wouldn't give him any more rusk, the problem was that I was on the phone enquiring about a Mummy and Baby music class I want to take him too.  The lady on the other side of the phone must have thought "Oh my God he's going to be one of those children!".  He's pretty good most of the time but he does feel that what he wants he should get.  If you think back to the prep course it's that whole mini selfish teenager phase where they test the boundaries.  I think that ignoring the bad behaviour, praising the good is best.  We normally give a firm "No" and if we're holding him we put him down on the floor, if he's already on the floor we just look away for a minute.  At the moment I'm winning the battles but I hate to think what it will be like in a year's time!!!

On the sporting front I'm afraid I'm more of a footie fan rather than a rugby girl but I don't mind watching.  We're going to try our first overnight stop at our friends on Saturday and the men folk are going to watch the rugby whilst we take the kids to the park.

I hope everyone has a good weekend, my DH has been very good and given me these few minutes to catch up but I better go and get Junior ready for bed.

love
Cindy


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi there

Had meeting with child's sw today... and it went well. They showed us some photos and allowed us to choose one to keep! That, our sw says, is a good sign!

She's is beautiful.  I am stunned. Don't know how to feel really, it's really weird! To have someone show you pictures of "your child", is strange, but lovely.

Hoping to get the nod tomorrow, so won't be able to concentrate at work until I've had the call.

Will report back as soon as we know more

Love from Ever-mummy-hopeful !!!!
xxxxxxx


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mummy to be 

You must be on  cloud nine.

Can't wait for your next update buddy  it really keeps all of us who are waiting in good spirits just to know it can happen. Only been waiting 2 weeks and do feel a bit  at times.

Hugs Mandyxx


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Cindy - great to hear from you and glad that you are now feeling better.

Ever - that's fantastic news, can't wait to see your post saying you've been chosen.  Its a good sign being able to keep the piccy.

Ruth - good news about panel - June will be here before you know it.  I can't quite believe I've been off work for 5 months its flown by.

To everyone else - I hope you are getting on alright.

Karen x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Yes! We've done it!!! We had the important phonecall this morning, and we have been matched with xxxx - we meet her foster mum in 3 weeks time and then panel in May... hoping she'll be coming home with us by end of May! Oh my God!!

Mandy - I know you can feel down at times, but don't despair, yours will come along soon!


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## Pooh bears mummy (Jul 11, 2004)

Sooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you Ever           

Your going to be a mummy.

We have been told about a consortuim open day where all the Sw form the 10 LA's all get together and you are invited along to meet them, this is on April 26 . We also got the call from our SW today to say we are now officially approved and our from F has gone of to the consortuim today   . Also bought 2 nursey rugs today 1 winnie the pooh and one piglet, soooooooooo cute.


Chat soon Mandyxxxx


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## jainey (Mar 4, 2005)

Hi Girls

I have been following some of your journeys although I know I wont remember everyone's names and where they are in their adoption journey but just wanted to wanted to wish us all every happiness and that it won't be too long before we meet our little ones.  

Everhopeful - Many Congratulations and I wish you every happiness.  You must be over the moon and bursting with happiness.  How long have you been waiting?  

MSW, Congratulations on passing panel and hoe you will be matched bery soon.  

Mandy, where are you in your journey

To everyonr else hello.    

We are hoping to go to panel soon

keep smiling

Jainey


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hi all and thanks for your messages!

Just wanted some advice from those of you already with placement... are we getting too excited too soon?
Yesterday we were told that the child's sw was very happy for us to go ahead if we still felt the same way (which we do) and we were given dates to meet foster mum and a panel date, and told how soon xxxx might be coming home etc etc. And obviously we are thrilled to bits. Today after telling our parents, virtually everyone knows and everyone's sending congratulations and we've had flowers and balloons and teddies sent! It's all lovely... but could we be taking it for granted that she will be ours? How likely is it that something between now and panel could change it all again? We've been given a photo of xxxx and I told my sw that I wanted to show everyone... she didn't tell me to be more cautious... infact she said she'd have to get an extra pic so my dh would have one to show off!!

My sw is on holiday for 2 weeks now so I can't double check with her... can we get excited? Are we allowed? They wouldn't set up panel etc if it wasn't almost definate, would they?


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## fiona1 (Feb 2, 2005)

We are just starting to look into adoption and i wonder if anyone can answer my questions.....
How long does the assessment process take?
What are the chances of getting a child under 12 months?
Are LA's supportive of people going abroard to adopt?
Has anyone any experiance of adoption from Russia?
If anyone has any more advise or things they think i should know please let me know. THANKS


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Hi Ever

Congratulations, I bet your over the moon, so soon after panel.  We took things quite cautiously as at the time of the match, the court order had not been granted so we tried to temper everyone's excitement to try and prevent a huge disappointment if something went wrong (self preservation mode again!)

However due to the timescales of everything and delivery times on items such as cot beds etc we had no choice but to start buying for our girls in the hope that the courts would pass things.

Can you tell us anymore about her, i.e how old is she?  I asked my Sw about sharing the names of our two, and she has advised against it so I am sticking with eldest and youngest.

Welcome to the mummies club!

Love
Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Fiona

Welcome.  One thing you wil find from all of our experiences, is that each LA vary in their timescales and there are the odd hiccups along the way.  We took 22 months from start to being placed with our first little girl.  Some of it was our side (i.e on hols when course date was given) and other from LA's side (Sw on lng term sick and an influx of older children to place as a priority).

A few of us have been placed with children under or just over 12 months of age (my youngest was 12 months when placed - 16 old months today!) but there are no guarantees.  We were told that if we opted to take a sibling group, there was more chance of being placed with a younger child (my two are now 28 months and 16 months)

Unfortunately I am not sure of the process of going abroad to adopt, but I have seen that you have posted to Paddi on her thread about adopting from Russia.

Good luck

Karen x


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## KarenM (Jul 30, 2002)

Time for a new home girls.

This way....

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,25632.0.html

Karen x


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