# Newbie overwhelmed



## leedspack (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi 

Not sure where to start so going to jump straight in  

My DH and I had been trying for a baby for about 18 months, when nothing was happening we decided to speak to our GP I was 30 when I met my DH so by the time we married and started trying I was conscious of the ticking clock! The GP asked what seemed like standard questions and sent us for bloods and DH for a sample test.

When the initial results came back with the sample showing LSC it was like having the rug pulled out from under our feet, after reading only a couple of threads I am sure that this will be a feeling well known! 

We were referred to the Specialists, and have had more tests but a whole lot more waiting! During which period I was made redundant and am now on the hunt for a new job, my DDH is working on starting up a business so we are a little torn on what to focus on.on the one hand I don't want to put our dream of a family on hold, but getting a little more settled would reduce stress levels which I'm sure would help. All that said I have no idea how long this process will take or even if it will be successful.

Currently the challenge to reduce my bmi is giving me a target to focus on.DH has taken the news hard and as an already quiet man has been less than keen to talk about things, I'm hoping that will come with time. Immediate family and a handful of friends know what we are facing but that doesn't mean they understand (hope that doesn't sound harsh!).

Apologies for the long babbling post, but I feel FF could be a great help as a place to chat to people who can really understand what we are facing. 

Later this month we will be going to a seminar at the clinic I'm sure I will have lots of questions so after that  

Thanks for reading!!! And good luck on your own journeys xxx


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Hi leedspack, fellow newbie having only joined yesterday.  It's hard to know where to start but thank you for sharing.

I know the feeling of the rug being pulled out from under you well too!  My DH had zero in his SA & shut down at the very point in came out of docs mouth.  What I have discovered along the way is that while he was quiet in early stages he was researching loads online & seems to be much more prepared emotionally for all of this than me!  Hopefully your DH will be the same but maybe the Men's area on this would be an idea for him?

Sorry to hear about the redundancy, hope you find something soon.  I've been running my own business part-time for 3 years with the plan that I could do that & be stay at home mum once it all happened for us!  I've just taken the leap to do it as my sole job now & it will be stressful but partly my decision is based on needing more time for appointments & not wanting others at work to get suspicious!

Like you, we've told close family & friends but it's not harsh to say they don't understand, I think it is quite hard for them to get their heads round it when they've not experienced it themselves but it's helpful to have a support network there too.  

I'm hoping that FF helps me find people going through it to talk to and share more.  Hopefully you find that too.

 with your journey xx


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## sarahsuperdork (Mar 12, 2013)

Hi, just wanted to say welcome from a fellow newbie rather than reading and running! Our situations are different but I hear you on family/friends not quite 'getting it'. My family pester me with questions I don't know the answer to and my friends are so excited for me but don't know how stressful the process is. It's not crazy to say it's as stressful as it is exciting!

Good luck on your journey.


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## leedspack (Mar 14, 2013)

Hi Bibbidi, 

Have you started treatment or are you still at the consultant stage? 

Great to hear your DH has gotten himself prepared mentally that's such an important first step, mine is still at the head burrowing stage  but I was encourage by the men's section on FF it would be good for him to have someone to chat to too, he's taken it as a blow to his manhood and is over compensating with work!

Well done on taking the step with your own business, it makes sense to do that. At this stage financial are driving my need/want to get back into work, really not sure how I will juggle appointments and treatment with a new job when the time comes, but that's a bridge to cross and worry about in the future  

I agree that FF is going to be good for support, although looking forward to understanding the techy medical terms a little more. 

Hi Sarah, it's always going to be difficult with family and friends, I was so sad when my mum just said I should adopt without even trying treatment, I know it was to try and protect me from disappointment if it didn't work but it just made me feel worse! I suppose we just need to keep in mind they have our best interests at heart. Good luck 

 xx


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## Flossy996 (Jan 27, 2012)

Welcome leedspack

FF is a great place to share your woes, sound off ask advice and share fun times too  

I'm sorry to hear the struggle you have been through re the baby stuff and also your redundancy. I hope you manage to sort something out so that you can concentrate on your dream of having a little one. 

Always here to chat and share so just give us a shout if you need anything x


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Hi leedspack, we're still at consultant stage.  We have an appointment tomorrow for the screening process for me to do egg sharing programme, a little bit nervous!!  

We've seen the unit counsellor too, which was when I realised how prepared DH was.  We are almost at a year since we got given those results so it just takes time, I'm sure your DH will get there too.  

Don't stress over the appointment juggling just now, as you say cross that bridge when you come to it.  Really hope you find something on the job front soon so that it's one less thing for you to have on your mind  

And here to talk and let off steam if needed!


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## leedspack (Mar 14, 2013)

Thanks Bibbidi for your reply, good luck for tomorrow is the egg sharing something the clinic raised or something you asked for? Hope the appoinent goes how you would like it to ;-) 

Just watching what's cooking and they are chatting about what foods help with fertility, interesting things! Mentioned zita west heard about her before so might be worth looking in to. 

The post has just arrived whilst I was typing and we have our next appointment for 16th April  feels good to have something in the diary although not sure whether its just a chat or to get the ball rolling. 

Hope tomorrow goes well and would be good to hear how you get on  x


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Once we'd been referred we started investigations online and saw egg sharing on the website for the hospital so we enquired.  At that stage there were still so many unanswered questions but we felt that we'd like to help someone else going through something similar.  We've confirmed our interest and our plan as doing this and going ahead with donor sperm for our own treatment and have attended the implications counselling which is required for donors and donor recepients (of which we'll be both!).  From what I've seen over last few weeks while trying to find out about the screening process not every clinic/hospital appears to offer it??

I maybe should go investigating the food side of things now too - every little helps (unless it's chocolate or wine!  )

Great that you have your next appointment.  I've found that one of the hardest parts of all this, not knowing what was coming next and what time frames were involved so it's always good to have a date to aim towards!  Even if it's a chat, it's still the ball rolling in a sense just slowly!


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Leedspack!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

Hope things settle down soon and you can soon concentrate on treatment. I haven't been in the same position (we have been marked down as unexplained), but I can give you a few links that I think might help you, either now or in the future.

Egg Share ~ CLICK HERE

Male factors ~ CLICK HERE

The Mens Room ~ CLICK HERE

IVF General chat ~ CLICK HERE

Keep a diary of your treatment (or read the experiences of others) ~ CLICK HERE

Cycle Buddies (undergoing treatment at the same time) - CLICK HERE

Supplements & Fertility Friendly Foods ~ CLICK HERE

Regional ~ CLICK HERE

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it.

Good luck!              Let us know how you get on tomorrow.

Sue


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Well screening appointment seemed to go OK.  Think my arm has only just regained feeling from the blood samples 

Up to 6 weeks for results but as I can't believe we're at 20th March, I'm sure that'll pass before I know it!


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## leedspack (Mar 14, 2013)

Thanks for the info Sue, found the FF site so useful already! Spoke to DH about it too and he seems open to joining in some of the mens chat which I think will be a great help for him. 

Bibbidi, pleased it went well and I can imagine this whole process will make us feel like pin cushions but it'll be worth it  and your right time does seem to fly by so 6 weeks will be here in no time. 

I got the job which is great, although I do have so many mixed emotions, as I want to concentrate on our family but at the same time I need to earn, I do have a tendency to get ahead of myself so already worrying about whether we should delay starting etc but I keep having to remind myself to take one step at a time! Oh and got my 1 stone off certificate last night, which is great edging ever closer to the elusive sub 30 BMI!!!!

I was a little inspired by you egg donation, this has made me to want to help others when I can so it will definitely be something I'll look in to


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Leeds - that's great news, congratulations on getting the job and losing the stone!  

We definitely become pin cushions through all this, we should by end of it have no problems giving blood and going for smear tests in the future!!


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## Bibbidi (Mar 15, 2013)

Hi leedspack - how are things?  How did you get on today? x


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