# New member - Hi everyone!



## PaulB (Aug 26, 2006)

Hi all...

My name is Paul and I'm living in SW London. Myself and my wife (both 34) have been trying for a baby for about 9 months now without success and we are getting increasingly worried. I'm hoping that people here will be able to offer us some support and advice as the tears are starting to flow regularly now.

My wife has had an initial blood test - ok, and I've had a sperm analysis which said that count was ok, wigglyness was ok, but sperm abnormality level was 98%. I imagine this is not helping us.

So we are waiting for our initial IVF meeting at the local hospital and wondering what the hell it is all going to be like. It is helping us a lot to read about peoples stories and advice here, I hope to keep you all up to date with our adventures. We are desperate for support, having not told anyone about our problems yet, although I dont want to moan too much as some of the stories I read about here make our troubles look very small.

But we are sad, very sad. We've been together for 11 years and looked forward to this so much. If anyone can let us know what we can expect and what we can do to make things easier then that would be great.

We look forward to getting to know as many of you as possible.
Best wishes & good luck,
Paul


----------



## Julie-Anne (Mar 2, 2006)

Hi Paul & DW,

Welcome to FF. I'm sure you will find a lot of support and information on here. I hope you get your meeting at your local hospital soon and on track to starting your family. It is an emotional rollercoaster and even harder if you are relying only on each other for support if you have not told other. This site has been a godsend for me and I'm sure many others. Good luck and sending you lots of     

Best wishes

Julie


----------



## LizzyB (Mar 25, 2003)

Hi Paul ~ welcome to FF 

I'm glad that you have found the site....it can be so hard to come to terms with the prospect of fertility problems and treatment. You've definately found a fab place for support and friendship though 

We do have a mens room if you want to chat to other guys about things....here's the link for you:

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=89.0

You're also very welcome to post around the rest of the boards too 

Loads of luck to you both,

Take care, Lizzy xxx


----------



## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

Hi Paul,

Welcome to FF. 

Sorry to hear that you and DW are stuggling with ttc and the emotions that it throws up. As Lizzy has said there are lots of boards and threads here that you can read and post on to help you with your journey and to share experiences with others in the same position. As you can tell from all the signatures the FFs on the site are at various stages through the journey of trying to acheive their dream. The fantastic thing about the site is all the love and support that you both give and receive. Everyone can empathise with your position as we all undertstand the difficulties associated with wanting a family of our own but it not quite going to plan.

Wishing you and DW the very best and hoping you achieve your dream.

Maz x


----------



## Alley (Aug 13, 2006)

Hi Paul

You will certainly find support on here.  Just to give you some idea, the initial consultation usually involves your DW having a scan (a look at the womb and ovaries) and you will probably have to have another SA. Most places want to do this again, even if you've had it done before.  You may also have some blood tests for hormone levels.

I think your SA (low morphology alone) is not so bad, but probably mmeans you will have ICSI (where they pick out the good looking ones and inject them into the eggs). 

My advice is read as much as you can, take a list of questions any get as many answers as you can.  Also be prepared for the waiting game - there is a lot of this in tx and beforehand. DH and I are in our first cycle and we are learning as we go, despite all the info that is around, still seem to have so many questions.

Good luck and let us know how you get on

Alley


----------



## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Hi Paul

Welcome to FF!  I'm sorry to hear you and your dw are having such a hard time.  Initial Consultations vary from hospital to hospital.  At our Initial Consult it was just a chat really, then I was referred back to my local hospital for all the scans etc.  DH hasn't really had any real investigations as his SA is so poor it's beyond repair!   I know this is all very overwhelming, but this site provides you with the support and knowledge you need to regain control of your situation. I imagine they will re-do your SA and it may be better next time, guys sperm counts/analysis can be affected by so many things such as having a cold, a knock or trauma to the affected area etc.. In our case dh had an op for undescended testicles as a little lad and that's ruined it for him, so not much they can do about that!  

Take care and I hope we'll see you and your dw around here so that you don't need to shed quite so many  

Amanda xx


----------



## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi paul and welcome to the site 

I hope this site can offer u some support and advice about the treatment you and your wife will have to go through.

Same as u - my husband has 100% abnormal sperm so ICSI is our only option. Have u been taking any vitamins or anything to help?

Good luck

Kate xx​


----------



## PaulB (Aug 26, 2006)

wow thats quite a response - hi everyone!

Ive been taking all the vits I can manage, and gave up alcohol and caffeine totally a month ago (man I need a cuppa!) as I was drinking loads of both, and I'm prob gonna go for another test in a month to see if it has made any difference. Has anyone out there seen change in abnormality level after dietary changes??

One thing I'm massively paranoid about with IVF etc is the fact that mistakes have been made, with the wrong embryos being implanted on some occasion. I used to work in a lab so I know how these places operate and am TERRIFIED that they'll mess it up if we end up going down that route. To make it worse, the hospital we are to go to was implicated in one of the cock ups a few years ago.

Thoughts?

Cheers
Paul


----------



## AliR (Nov 13, 2005)

Hi Paul

Welcome to FF.

It's good that you've given up the alcohol and caffeine... although i know its hard, sometimes harder in the first year when you have no understanding as to why you can't get pregnant. It does get a little easier to come to terms with and deal with. My DH also had very poor sperm, but just having finished our 1st ICSI i have recently posted that i am Pregnant, so don't give up hope.

There is no denying that it is a hard path and there will be huge emotional stresses but hopefully you will get all the encouragement and support you need from the fab people on this website. There are never any questions considered stupid or inappropriate so dont be afraid to ask.

As for the worry of the wrong embryos being implanted- there are enough stresses to go through with the treatment without this extra concern. If anything i'm sure that it is a good thing that your hospital was involved in this problem before as it will mean they are under very close watch and are probably double checking everything.

I hope your journey through fertility bringd you a happy ending and wish u all the luck in the world

 

Ali
xx


----------



## Tcardy (Nov 4, 2005)

Hi paul

welcome to FF, as the other ladies have said you and your dw will find lots of support and understanding on here. i wish you both the very best of luck on your ivf journey.

myself and my dh are just starting the ivf journey (well next month) what hospital will you be going to?

good luck and keep in touch

Tracey


----------



## icky (Oct 6, 2005)

Welcome Paul and DW

You have found a godsend!  this site has been my lifeline at times and I have made some fantastice friends.  One thing you don't need to worry about is asking questions, however silly you may think they are, we've all asked them at some time or other. One piece of advice I would offer is keep talking to your wife, IF is stressful enough always remember you are both going through it.
My DH had abnormal and a few changes in his lifestyle has helped, but everyone is different.
good luck on your journey and heres hoping and wishing for a happy ending.

Icky

xxx


----------



## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Hi Paul

Just want to say welcome to you and your DH.  As everyone has already said, this site is a fantastic source of help, support and understanding.  I really don't know how I would cope without it at times.

Good luck for you appointment.  My DH had 6% normal forms in April and for three months he has not had any coffee or alcohol.  He has been taking Zita West Vitaman supplements, drinking at least 2 litres of water a day, eating Brazil nuts, and only organic meat and dairy products, only wearing loose fitting underwear, and no hot baths and his last SA, earlier this week was much improved, volume has doubled and he now has 12% normal forms.  I am convinced all of the changes have made a difference.

I think it is diffrent for everyone one, but you are certainly doing the right things giving up the alcohol.

Wishing you the very best of luck on your journey.

Jane xx


----------



## PaulB (Aug 26, 2006)

Thanks Janie (et al),

How are the brazil nuts supposed to be of benefit? I can understand the rest I think. Also what are the supplements you are refering to? I have been taking a multi-vitamin supplement.

Is there anything else anyone recommends to boost the number of "normals"? 

Cheers
Paul


----------



## AmandaB1971 (Feb 19, 2006)

Hi Paul

It's funny you should mention being paranoid about getting the wrong embies back, I didn't know there had been previous scandals, but it is something I'm worried about myself!!  (Haven't mentioned it to dh cos I think he's got enough to worry about at the mo!)

I'm sure it's natural to have this worry (even without having worked in a lab) but I'm not sure we can do anything to reassure ourselves!

TTFN

Amanda x


----------



## janie77 (Jun 3, 2006)

Paul, I read somewhere on here about the Brazil nuts, they are supposed to be a good source of selenium and vitamin E (I think).  Anyhow I read on here that they are supposed to be good for swimmers, so my hubby gave it ago.  Luckily he likes Brazil nuts and he has only been eating a few each day.  The supplements he takes are from www.zitawest.com and they are called Vitaman.  Zita West has a clinic in London and specialises in fertility issues and I have read a few of her books. I am certainly no expert in relation to supplements but as I had read her books I thought I'd give her stuff a try. The supplements are quite expensive, and to be honest they probably only contain the same as any other multi-vitamin, plus perhaps a few extra things which are supposed be good for sperm production. If you go onto the website I think it lists what is in them.  If you do decide to take them - be warned they make your wee go bright yellow!  Sorry if thats tmi!

Good luck Jane


----------



## mazv (Jul 31, 2006)

OMG Janie!

I made my DH start taking a fertility mulitvit prep last month (figured we'd give it a go as it's cheaper than another round of IVF). He was complaining it made his wee 'nuclear' and it glowed in the dark. I told him he was making it up       Should probably apologise now  

Paul, hope you're finding the help and support useful for you and DW. I've read quite a lot of posts about SA improving after healthier living and taking specific vitamin supplements. It's worth a try. Hope you and DW are doing ok and keeping     

Regards
Maz


----------



## Debbie1234 (Aug 1, 2006)

Hi Paul,

My DH has a large % of Abnormal forms.

Some other users of this site recommended Pycnogenol. Apparently this is particularly good for improving morphology as it thins the blood so helps stop those little   overheating - hence less abnormal forms!

I managed to get these for my DH on the internet but I have also seen them in Holland & Barrett. He also takes Wellman.  Make sure you drink loads of water when you take these as they were dehydrating my DH and giving him kidney pains. Drinking lots of water solved the problem

Great that you are taking this so seriously and have chosen to cut out caffeine and alcohol - I am trying to convince my DH on the alcohol front but not having much luck at the moment!

Best of luck with everything,

Debbiex


----------



## PaulB (Aug 26, 2006)

Thanks Janie & Maz,

I'm now on everything I can get my hands on. Lycopene, vits, selenium etc and no caffeine and alcohol.

To be honest its easy to cut out the beer and tea, cos everytime I think that I want a Guinness I just think about how much I want a baby and theres only one result in my mind.

So I'll do anything I can to help. I'm planning on another test in a couple of months and I'm hoping there will be some improvement.


Cheers
Paul


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

and welcome to FF paul
What a lot of replies already!

you asked whether any one had seen an improvment in their DH SA results - I just thought I would let you know we have - we have been under investigations and TX' for 15 yrs and from the start ICSI was mentioned as DH had poor mobility
Any hoo He didnt give up caffine or his precious Guiness (which is a great source of IRON by the way  ) he tends to drink mainly tea and alchol on occasion I digress, I put him on Selinium and Zinc with high strengh vit C and just recently onto the well man tablets (instead) and we have changed clincs the test they have done has come back as icsi not required! 
So hes a very happy man and is still taking his vitamins!

Wishing you and your DW all the best

~Dizzi~


PS if your DW wants to join FF she can register a seperate name to you,
so long as she can get on the PC you can both enjoy all FF has to offer


----------



## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hello its me again!

Paul - i just wanted to now add that me and hubby got our second lot of SA results back and there was a huge improvement from the first one that he done - i have had my hubby on zinc and he has cut right down on the alcohol - he has only just given up smoking so we will see if that helps - good news is that because of the improvement on his sperm test we dont need ICSI either!! They mite beable to treat me with Clomid!!

So definitly worth a try!!

Kate xxx​


----------



## PaulB (Aug 26, 2006)

Cheers all.

Nice to hear a couple of improved SA's after the vits. Ive been on vits and off alc/caff for almost 2 months now. I'll prob go for a re-test in another month or so as I know the cycle of spermatogenesis takes about 3 months. I'm gonna add Pycnogenol to the list of daily pills as well.

I'm finding it really hard to keep positive though and keep breaking down. DW is calmer but my lack of strength is making it hard for her. I just dont know how to pick myself up.

Paul


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Oh Paul 

Its OK to feel down. 
Is it more than just the IF getting you down work family finances 
I am no expert but is it possible you a depressed ? 
is there other stuff going on in your lives right now or is it just the IF ?

I think most people find having a plan for Appointments TX and time out helps them remain positive
Glad your DW is calmer as you will balance each other out.

Sorry I cant be of more help, WIshing you lots of      

~Dizzi~


----------



## PaulB (Aug 26, 2006)

Hi Dizzi

Well theres lots of other stuff going on but nothing more than everyone else has.

The baby (or lack of) thing has really hit me hard. We are waiting for our first appointment on NHS and we are also going to try private as soon as we choose a clinic (prob Hammersmith). 

Its just all the waiting and waiting. I might feel different when we are making progress with our treatment. At least this site has allowed me to find out lots of info, so I *think* that we will be steered towards ICSI.

I've been waiting to be a dad since I was small, its been the one thing that I've always known would always be fine, would always be ok. I just cant believe that we've got problems. I cant believe it and its hit me so hard.

It's nice to have to support of all you guys. There are a lot of success stories here and I hope that myself and DW can join that list.

Px


----------



## *Scooby* (Sep 16, 2006)

Hi Paul

I am a new member and found this website by sheer fluke, its just what we have been looking for.

It sounds like we have already been through what you and your wife are going through.  We had all the tests at the beginning of the year.  Everything was fine with me, but my husband has low count, poor mobility and the abnormality level is also 98%!!  You can imagine how we felt with this news  .  However, we had our initial IVF meeting and decided that we couldn't wait 18-24 months on the NHS so have decided to pay for our treatment under the NHS.  We have now started our treatment, I had to do 2 weeks with a nasal spray and we have now started our daily injections.

The only advice I will give is don't build up your hopes too much for this meeting at the hospital, we found ourselves thinking that would be the answer to our prayers but it was just more tests and those results took 8 weeks and so they booked a further appointment for 12 weeks later (they obviously don't realise our urgency!!).  Good luck with everything.

Linda xx


----------



## hellibump (Sep 21, 2006)

Thinking of you both fingers crossed you hear something soon


----------

