# I am being ridiculous but...



## munkeynuts (May 22, 2014)

Hello

So very briefly my sister in law has just announced her pregnancy to my in-laws and of course they are over the moon as the very rightly should be. However I have just left their house in tears following a family bbq where my mil has spent the whole afternoon talking over me to ask my sil  about her pregnancy then did a whole big celebratory toast. Of course their pregnancy should be celebrated I am just so hurt at the insensitivity and now irrationally angry at my mil. Sigh. Moan over. 

Will this ever get easier?


----------



## Londonkitty (Feb 26, 2014)

Have a hug. I wish I could say it will get easier but I can't guarantee it will. I described it to my DH once that whilst I will always wish happiness for somebody who is pregnant, some days, for no reason I can put my finger on, my initial reaction won't be happiness. I hate feeling that way but it happens and I've learnt that on other days I can keep my feelings in check. I'm lucky in that there are no family members likely to fall pregnant but it is the girls from my old job who all got married in the same year or after me who I find particularly difficult to hear about. 
Vent in here all you like-we've all been there xx


----------



## zozo_lou (Feb 11, 2014)

Hey Hun,

We can all relate to how u feel, don't beat yourself up about being angry about any of this, we all stress ourselves out enough with the worry of what's going to happen with the treatment that any other stress is just unnecessary. 

Perhaps take your mil to one side & explain how u feel, we had problems with my mil telling other family members about us & making comments about us having a baby etc & since talking to her it seems that she understands why we were angry at her but she genuinely didn't believe she was doing anything wrong, didn't even cross her mind so ur mil may be the same? 

It doesn't get easier straight away but over time it gets a bit easier to manage your feelings & if ur anything like me you'll work it in ur favour to stop yourself being in situations where ppl are taking baby talk! I alienate myself slightly but that's how I manage this whole roller coaster that is IVF!! 

Xx


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi lovely monkeynuts, 
That sounds hard and yes pretty insensitive. No wonder you were upset. I know exactly how you feel. 
What stage are you at? X


----------



## munkeynuts (May 22, 2014)

Thanks ladies

Never in my wildest dreams would I have known how hard this is, everything seems to open up a minefield of new emotions. Prob doesn't help just now that af is due tomorrow. 

I cant stand being this bitter angry person I just want that to go away. 

I would live to able to talk to my mil however she's one of those people who just looks at how a bad situation affects het. On the day we told her about our struggle to have a baby she phoned my parents in tears to talk to them about how she had no one to talk to about it all!!

Sigh, where is the wine? 
Xx


----------



## munkeynuts (May 22, 2014)

Thanks perla

We're on the waiting list for icsi in edinburgh, waiting list is currently 12 months so hopefully we'll be starting February 2015.

How are you getting on with your treatment? 

Xx


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hello, I hope you get to start soon! I love edingburgh! We stayed at tigerlilly! Anyway... Been ttc for 3 years, have pco but not the syndrome, had 7 months of clomid... No joy so first ivf in mat which failed. On nhs you have to wait 6 months between cycles so we start in October and egg collection will be November. I am starting to find this all very hard.


----------



## munkeynuts (May 22, 2014)

Lol yeah it's a great place to live apart from the 12 month waiting list!! 

Im so sorry your first shot failed, I dont know how you begin to cope with that. But you will get there. Do ypu find that you say that to other people and truly believe it but struggle to  believe it when you tell it to yourself.

I think this is the hardest thing that any couple may go through  however on the flip side we are all superwomen/men for striving on and getting on with life. Well that's where I am on this journey at the moment...if that makes sense ha! 

Xx


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Hi Monkey nuts,
Yes I guess so, that wait is very long, have you had lots of tests up until  now? have you been on any drugs? 
I dont say much to others really, to be honest I have always just know that I would not get pregnant easily, I have always said it to friends and family and friends used to say they felt the same ( difference is they now have 1,2 or 3 children) 
If i am honest I found the ivf ok, all of the injections I did myself, had scans at the clinic along with a blood test everyother day which was all time consuming and not the most pleasant thing but ok but from egg collection and for the next couple of weeks I felt pretty rough and found the 2ww torture!! I just wanted to know, I tested early and it was negative so that made it easier for me as I thought the worst and If it changed a few days later on otd I would have been very surprised.
I held it all together up until now and I have to say it has got to me now. I am not like a mad woman looking at babies but i just want to know one way or another, we have said we could have a lovely and happy life still without children.
Anyway lovely, let me know If you want any advice xx


----------



## munkeynuts (May 22, 2014)

Thanks perla

No we haven't really had much of anything happen yet, we didn't need a lot of tests prior to being added to the list, they did my oh's sperm analysis and pretty much added us to the list straight away, which is good in a way. I've had my hysterosalpingogram thingy which was all fine and waiting to hear about more tests etc. 

That's my biggest problem, the waiting and not having a clue when or what is going to happen. I'm seeing an nhs counsellor who has been amazing and is finding me out information. Our consultant is less than useless at our last appointment (which we waited 3 months for) all we were told was that we were still in the list and to relax!!!!!!! I just about leapt across the desk at that point. 

I know what you mean about the not knowing, if someone could just say 'look this will happen but in 6 months' or 'im sorry but no' so you can just know for definite and get on with life.  I definitely am the mad woman looking at babies lol. 

I hope you're doing ok...I'm always game for a moan if it's all getting on top of you so feel free. I'm sure I'll be asking for loads of advice closer to the time...if it ever comes. For now I just kind of try and think it's not happening. Lol. Denial is a wonderful place! 

Xx


----------



## Perla (Feb 20, 2013)

Thanks for your lovely reply. Message me when you need to so I don't lose your contact on here, it does get confusing! 
Yes I feel the same, just to know would be so nice x


----------

