# Questions for birth parents



## rikschick (Aug 29, 2007)

Hi there, we are 2 days into intros and are meeting birth mum and dad on day 5. Can anyone suggest good questions to ask? I want to be able to answer questions my little ones might want to know later. Also, we are not sure what to expect from them and what questions they might ask us. Any advice most welcome!


We are taking our camera but feel very nervous about it!


Thank you x


----------



## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Hello there  

I was very nervous too but it is over so quickly  

One 'tip' is that when you get home, you write up exactly what happened and what was said when it is fresh in your mind.  Our SW did not take any notes (I am not sure they ever do at these type of meetings?), but you will quickly forget exactly what was said etc.  I am really pleased that I documented the meeting when I could still remember what happened ....

The questions you ask are a very personal thing and the questions we asked might not be appropriate for your situation so just have a think about what your children might wish to know when they are old enough to ask .....

Good luck.  Congratulations on your match  
X


----------



## Ruthiebabe (Dec 15, 2003)

Ask if littlie has had chickenpox.... It's not recorded in red book.


----------



## Guest (Mar 11, 2012)

Hi

First of all congratulations on your match!! I can remember when we went to groups that some of the best questions to ask were, what made you name the child, how was the labour , ie natural or c-section as this could be important to the child wanting to know in later life how they came in to the world, some other important ones were any family history of illnesses, siblings etc. Some of these questions SW might alreay know,  but you have the opportunity to get first hand knowledge.

Good luck, xxx


----------



## julesF (Apr 7, 2009)

hi we met our BP 7mnths after LOs moved home
we aSKED about childhooh illnesses, how she chose their names, time born etc as none of this was in their CPR


----------



## Mrs Dibbles (Aug 19, 2007)

We asked about what they liked doing when they were children, how they chose childs name. a little bit about family history and that was it. Its nice to have pictures for the future too. We found it very emotional but well worth doing. Good luck.


----------



## Anjelissa (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi,

Congratulations on being matched with your lo   

As others have said it will largely depend on your lo's history, circumstances and the info' you have already I suppose.

We didn't get the option to meet with our lo's birth parents but as he was with his fc's straight from leaving hospital our questions would have been centred around his birth parents & family history rather than info about our lo (as we know more about that than they do in our case).
They might sound like silly things but a year and a half in (and as we already know quite a lot) some of the additional things we would like to know for him are whether his bm/bd are left or right handed, a bit more about their various likes, dislikes & hobbies (now and as children), plus quite a lot of other 'random' questions that we know lo's often like to know and ask about their parents as they grow up.
As well as any medical and general history that is useful to know for various reasons I think you also have to put yourself into the head of a small child and try to remember what you were curious about as you grew up. I can remember asking my Mum what her favourite colour was when I was really little, not an important bit of information but I remember being really curious and wanting to know   
Just 'random' bits and pieces like that are nice for your lo to know, along with all the important historical/medical facts that are of course important to know. 

Lots of luck with intros and your meeting with your lo's birth family.

Anj x


----------



## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

definitely second DE's suggestion of documenting it straight away..i just looked up what i wrote back then..it was a couple of years ago but i'd forgotten all of it..so pleased i wrote it down!
i made sure that i wrote it in a certain way... personally i took alot of what BD said with a pinch of salt and i didnt want to have it written down in a way that presented it as 'fact'..ie i wrote 'X *says* he is now working for *whoever* and says he is not taking *whatever*...so its clear it was what he 'said' not necessarily the truth  i dont want any misconceptions later on...also if you ever met BP's seperately or say a Birth granny you might get a whole different set of info that doesnt tally up very well..so i felt it very important to make certain who said what!
hope that makes sense

kj x


----------



## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

I know there are lists on the boards somewhere but can't find them?!


----------



## mummy2blossom (Feb 21, 2013)

Hi thought I'd let u know what we asked!  Meeting was only about 10-15 mins. 

We asked why her name, anything she wants us to tell blossom in the future, asked few questions about bm particular interest. She asked us about blossoms room and couple other thing but I can't remember! We had very brief chat about blossom. 

Sorry probably not much use!


----------



## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Hi Spaniel  
I did a search and couldn't find much for you but did find the thread above which I have merged.

I hope it is of some help.
DE x


----------



## crazyspaniel (Sep 12, 2012)

Thanks mummy and DE!
Very helpful, trying to make a list and keep getting stuck...
This is our second attempt at meeting bm, didn't keep list I made previously  

Cs x


----------



## Dame Edna (May 17, 2007)

Good luck with it Spaniel.  It's not an easy thing to do but is well worth doing if you get the opportunity


----------



## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

We would have liked to meet bp, here are the questions I had incase we had the opportunity

1/ why did you choose lo name?
2/ do either of you have any hobbies?
3/ do you like music?
4/ are you early or late risers?
5/ is there anything you would like us to tell lo when he gets older?
6/ did you visit him in hospital after he was born?
7/ did you hold him and spend time with him in hospital?
They might help xx


----------



## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

We asked very similar questions:


How did you & BD meet
Did you have any cravings in pregnancy
How was the labour & birth
Do you have any favourite foods
What are you hopes for LO's future


Goodluck, I found the whole thing very nerve wracking & surreal x


----------

