# A thought to end all thoughts for the over 40's



## Dell Boy (Aug 6, 2008)

Hi All,

I hope that this thread will be one of the defining threads on this board for the over 40's.

Background

We got married in July 1993 and d/w was on the pill until 2001, had a miscarriage in September 2002, carried on trying naturally until summer of 2008 and then seeked treatment at LFC in London, first attempt was a BFN but did manage 4 eggs two of which were used, tried unsuccessfully again at beginning of January 2009 but wife was not responding to treatment so that cycle was cancelled, tried again in March 2009 and only managed one follicle and when removed was found to be empty, at this point we had moved to CRM in London, after this attempt Doctor recommended D/E, we had a BFPin November this year with d/e but sadly d/w started a bleed day after we got positive result although we had to Wait two weeks to discover for sure we had lost the baby.

The Future

We had a meeting with doctor on Tuesday about new round of d/e treatment but i felt that doctor had run out of ideas and albeit he had been the same one we had seen at both clinics i was not impressed with this meeting, i felt that he had to keep referring back to his notes about us where as before he had been on the ball, if anything he sounded distracted.

My own view is that we carry on with the d/e route which will take about 3-6 months to happen but we also try naturally, and try a little bit more clinically, i have looked up the dates when she is ovulating and try and be a bit more intimate if you know what i mean... but also i think she needs a complete overall, i hope this does not sound bad but what i mean is that she should stop smoking and drinking and eat the right things, plenty of sleep and moderate amount of exercise, i say this because we are almost in the last chance saloon, i was also planning a couple of days away over Christmas when that little window of opportunity could be with us once more.

D/W just turned 43 this week and I'm 47 although i do have very good set of numbers, i have to be optimistic and try everything, 

Is there anything that i have over looked and does anyone have any advice and experience of this dilemma, we are about to run out of money and spend the next five years paying this lot off, i reckon we must have spend about £30,000 so far, crazy i know. What is also compounding the problem for me is that out of a small company of just five people two have announced they are both three months pregnant and I'm having to listen to their baby talk all the time, obviously happy for them of course but only compounds my sadness, so help and guidance needed please,

Cheers

Dell Boy


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Dell Boy

I am so sorry to read about the hard time you and your DW have been having.  I haven't been down the d/e route as I was really lucky and managed to get a BFP with my own eggs on my third IVF attempt at the age of 43 (after 9.5 years ttc).  I do agree with you that it is worth trying everything you can - by our third attempt, we had thrown everything we could at it - I had lost weight, had been on the Foresight prenatal programme (supplements and diet). cut out alcohol, cut out caffeine, was eating organic and following the type of supplements and diet approach promoted by Marilyn Glenville and Zita West (as was DH).  I also had acupuncture for the third cycle, including the "German protocol" on ET day.  Neither of us smoke, but, difficult though I'm sure it is to give up, it is well worth doing - to increase the chances of IVF success, to reduce the chance of miscarriage, and to help grow a healthy baby.

I'm not saying for definite that any of this was actually what made a difference for us as I do think there is a certain degree of luck involved too.  However, none of it did any harm -  I definitely felt better as a result, and my pregnancy was fine (until pre-eclampsia set in leading to an early delivery, which I think was pretty much outwith our control).  Our wee girl, despite being premature, is also thriving, which I put down in part to the regime I was on when ttc.

I know you are going down the d/e route but getting into as good shape as possible still makes sense to me.  I found the following books very interesting - "Natural Solutions to Infertility" (Marion Glenville) and "Fertility and Conception" (Zita West) and would really recommend them if you haven't read them already.

I'm sure other people will have suggestions  too.  I know how tough it is, especially when you feel that you are getting to the end of the road.  However, we always felt it was important to feel that we had given ttc "our best shot" , so I woukld definitely recommend ticking all the boxes you can for your next attempt.  Good luck.    


Ellie


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry about your recent loss.

xx


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