# trying for number two



## coucou2009 (Sep 12, 2012)

Hello,
I have secondary infertility. It sounds so official. I am 38. We have one daughter who is four and we have been trying for a long while. We are in the midst of fertility treatments right now. I have done the clomid, I have done the 6 iui`s and I just had my first egg collection and tomorrow I will have the transfer. I am tired and it is hard to remember a time when I was not on some sort of hormone. We live in Belgium so thankfully, the treatments are  covered by the insurance. 

We did all the testing. My husband passed with flying colors. I also passed. Other than age, the Dr has not found anything that would indicate a problem. That is the most frustrating part. It is just dumb luck. My numbers are good and that Dr is not worried about time being a factor. 

Here I am tonight before the transfer nervous and tired. It is weird but in this world if infertility, the rejection stings each time when yo uget the call back that you are a BFN. I love my daughter and would love for her to have a sibling. I am also lucky to have the one. 

It is funny but when you get married people ask when are you going to have kids and then when you have one they always ask when are you going to have another. People just take it for granted that you have one that you would want and can have another one. That is not always the case. 
Sorry for rambling but this board has been my savior over the past few days. It gets really lonely in this world.....


----------



## Boggler (Jun 28, 2011)

Hiya cou cou,

I hope ur transfer went ok and ur nicely pupo!

My ds1 is 5 and my ds 2 is 1 on Saturday . Ds2 was a long time coming - and not a pleasant time. Sometimes I wish I had the time back as I spent too much time obsessing over not getting pregnant and wasted time that I could have spent being  happy with my son being sad that I couldn't have another . Its hard not to get stuck in a rut especially when all their little friends have siblings , all ur friends are pregnant at a drop of a hat and you get stuck with ur so selfish comments for not giving ur child a playmate!!

Well that was me anyway - it's hard not to obsess because the whole thing is linked to physical aspects as well - cramping , expecting period etc.  I was secondary unexplained as well. Then I got tested for immunes and well it worked. 

It's good to rant and get it out there!! My brother went through ivf the year before me - everybody was sympathetic and rallied around and offered cash etc to help out - we all went thru it with them blow by blow ( their first. ) when it came to me nobody quite believed it , told me to relax, give up work and it will happen blah blah blah.!!! I have a diary in the Fet section full of rants if that helps at all. Also since I came out of the infertility closet at least 3 other friends  have confided their own secondary issues to me and are currently working through treatment . Ur never as alone as you may think!!  I was actually able to give some good advice as well - more of a what not to do!!

I probably have made you worse but I know where your coming from - I could go on and on!! 
Not telling anyone 3rd time . Hee hee


----------



## coucou2009 (Sep 12, 2012)

Dear Boggler,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. 
My transfer went well. The Dr put two very good embryos back in. Now it is the waiting game. I know that the take home lesson for me is to tell my daughter to not take her fertility for granted. I think before we have kids we take it for granted and I think especially after you have one, you assume that you can have another at the drop of a hat. I remember telling one mother at my kid`s school and she was sympathetic but whenever I see her I can not help but feel that she has pity for me. It is a battle that we all fight everyday with tests, injections, waiting, ultrasounds. And we do it because we believe the end will be happy.

It is good to vent because we are fighting a war in some ways.

Thanks for listening! Everyone on this board has been so supportive. We might be in cyberspace but we all are linked 
.


----------

