# My surrogate is pregnant - does anyone out there know what I'm goin thru?



## pookchop

Hi This is my first post.  I am not very good at these sort of things!!
We have been through a long journey to get to this point but after many years, many failed IVF with my own and donor eggs and a very rare type of ectopic which left me unable to carry we have good news.  However, I feel so anxious and worried when I should be really excited!  Does anyone know what I mean?


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## BikerGirl

Sending you masses of hugs. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling!
There is an area related to surrogacy on this forum which you should be able to find here
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=57.0

Best of luck and hoping it all goes well.
XXX


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## apricot

Hi there - I know jsut what you are going through!!!! Its so hard isnt it? We didnt get excited until after 24 weeks to be honest as that was when I lost the last one but I think everyone is different and it will gradually creep up on you!

Massive congratulations though!!!!! How many weeks is your surrogate? Good luck with everything - hope it all goes really well - its such a huge and life changing experience, much more so than I normal pregnancy I think!! Keep us posted    xxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## nostalgicsam

know exactly what you mean, I think tho for me I became less and less worried as the weeks went by and as it was twins had lots of scans, however it didn't actually sink in that I was 'expecting' until they were here and even then I don't think it was until we got home a week later that it actually hit me, being a surrogate pregnancy doesn't stop you worrying after all that IP's have gone through before they arrive at surrogacy, sending you some HUGS, you will be excited when it feels right for you xx


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## pookchop

Thank you.            It is so good to know that there are people out there that understand so thank you so much for responding to me.    I guess I've got to hang on in there.  1st scan at 9 weeks all looks good , (just the one though!!!!), and have another one at week 12 coming up.  I find myself really worrying about my surrogate who is lovely of course but can't help feeling a bit out of control!!! I am not a control freek you understand!    just keep reading loads about diet for pregnancy and really can't tell her what to eat. afterall she has done it before and I just need to let her get on with it don't I!!!!!!  Did you feel like this or am I nuts  NUTS I hear you say!!!


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## nostalgicsam

LOL you're not NUTS all understandable and all things I felt myself, but yes you really need to let them get on with it as it were, unless you specified in your agreement any diet changes etc then am sure your surro will as with her own pregnancies eat well and she will know where saldy we never will how she feels and what's right and not right for her, we had scans at 7 wks, 12, wks 20 wks then more as it was twins, but if ayt any time you want an extra scan and are happy to pay for it and sure your surro will obligue 

Don't worry it's one massive sense on no control when you're an IP, I know exactly what you mean and how you feel,hang in there and feel free to post and ask when you want to and do pm me if you'd like
Sam
xx
xxx


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## pookchop

Thank you its good to know you are here and wise words... your 2 little ones look so cute by the way!  I'll keep you posted.   xx


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## nostalgicsam

aww thanks, glad I'm a lil help   

yes my lil ones are cute, just don't be fooled by the packaging though


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## sars3dd

i just wanted to say a huge congratulations to you xx


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## pookchop

Thank you   good luck with your journey too xxx


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## IfOnlyYouKnew

Yes, I do.  Our surrogate just got pregnant as well.  I can't believe the mass of emotions that this has released.  I should be really happy but instead I'm sitting around crying about our stillborn daughter and the four other babies we miscarried.  (I do have a lovely eight year old son.  I mention that so I don't feel like Mrs Tragedy, as I have done for the last six years).  Anyway, suddenly all that is back.  And it's such a shock.  Because I'm meant to be happy now.  And I am.  I'm thrilled.  But instead I'm just crying all the time.  I'd love to be in touch with you because although I've already been on some roller coasters this one is the most spectacular yet.  Alice


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## pookchop

Hi Alice

What a difficult time you have had and now it looks like there is a light at the end of the tunnel doesn't it.  Where there is a will there is a way - and this is certainly true of you.  Congratulations.  I think it is completely normal to have such mixed emotions - afterall  the hope you we have been given is exciting but we are all too aware that something may go wrong.  My feelings change every moment.  I read an awful story in the Daily Mail on Sat and it has made me really sad and worried again - but last week I felt really posiitive.  I am really trying to just take each day as it comes (easier said than done!).  I am quite lucky as our surrogate lives 1.5 hours drive away.. we are seeing the midwife together tomorrow.  I always come away with mixed emotions though I guess I am lucky to have her near.....keep me posted. how pregnant is she?

x


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## pookchop

I saw my gynae consultant yesterday and he was really pleased for us when I told him the news!  He is starting a charity up with some very clever doctors looking at "uterine transplants".  This would mean that women could have a donor uterus for a few years - with the intention of carrying a baby and then removing the uterus again afterwards.  Fascinating!   Just wondered what you guys thought of this?  There is still much research to be done on it and it hasn't been done in humans yet......wow!!!


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## ♥JJ1♥

wow which consultant/clincs are doing this?

I read that there had been one uterus transplant in Saudi Arabia on a lady but it was removed after complicataions http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2014-first-human-uterus-transplant-a-partial-success.html

interesting if it were avaialble I would like to explore it.

L x


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## pookchop

they haven't started it yet.  I guess when they do it would be either in the USA or in Queen Charlotte's,London where my guy is based.  Apparently there is some opposition from an ethical point of view (I don't see the problem myself!).  I will keep you posted if I hear any news.  I have offered to help with the charity (I am a nurse) so if they ask me to help I will be able to give you  front line info.

PC xx


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## ♥JJ1♥

I have my surgeries on my uterus via 92 Harley St and Hammersmith Hosp (Mr Trew).  I don't see a problem either and have worked (also a nurse)  in the field of organ and BMT transplants before myself.

Do keep us informed Porkchop.
How did your mw appt go?  Hope all is going well with the pregnancy
Lx


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## pookchop

Mr Trew will know Richard Smith - my consultant then!  did you work at Hammersmith?  I worked at CXH and HH!  I was an oncology nurse.  I will def keep you informed - you will understand it much better than me with your background.  One thing I didn't ask him about was the effect of immunosupressants on the growing baby??

My appt with MW went well.  Our surrogate bought along 3 of her kids so it was chaos!! But they are so gorgeous.  THe MW is quite good in that she tries to involve me in the conversation.  The best response I had was from the nurse in the scan room who asked me and my DH how WE were and what a journey we must have been on!  That was the first time a HCP had asked us!!!  13 week scan coming up week on Tuesday....

What are your next plans?  How are you feeling about things?

PC


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## Bel

Congratulations!!

It is a very worrying time and I know so well the feeling of being out of control. My best friend carried our baby girl for us. It was a worry from start to finish for me, but as soon as our baby girl was given to me it was all worthwhile. If ever you need to chat about it, please let me know I will be happy to listen!

Bel,x


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## Bel

Hi Specialmum,

Please PM me anytime. I would be happy to talk. Oh and congratulations!!!!

Bel,x


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## nostalgicsam

Hi Specialmum,
congrats, I have twins via surrogacy, the journey can be hard going am also happy to talk if you need to 
x


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## Grumpygirl

Congrats, and happy days ahead for you  xx


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