# Abroadies hoping for another miracle - Part One



## Sasha B

Hi Everyone,

Izzy & I were chatting and we thought it would be great to start up this thread simply because the whole process can be very different for those of us who already have children. It also means that we can continue to be sensitive to those those who do not yet have any children on the main Abroadies thread by sharing & discussing thing things amongst each other.

Happy chatting ladies   & lots of   to us all!!!

Sasha xxx


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## bluebell

Hello Izzy, Sasha and everyone else !
Just to say that it might be worth having a vote about this. When I suggested Bumps and Babies we had a poll on it, organised by the mod.  
I have real mixed feelings about a hoping for another miracle thread, as although I can relate to all the reasons for doing it (and have thought about it myself too), it worries me a little about dividing up us abroadies having treatment.  What does everyone else think ? 
My compromise thought is that we keep 'hoping for another miracle' just for matters that relate only to trying again for anotehr babe and the particular feelings that brings, but stick to general abroadies for everything else ?
Also, might be worth discussing the new thread Iif it is to happen) with mods / Tony and Mel etc anyway.
Sorry to complicate things, and don't mean to tread on any toes !!
Bluebell xxx


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## Bel

Hiya girls,

I understand how you are feeling, and appreciate that you are thinking of us girlies that are yet to have a child, but I for one would welcome you guys on the abroadies thread as when you want a child it is a shared "wanting". When Bluebelle (my special buddy) was going through her last treatment, I never thought for a second that it was any different from the first time round. You girlies are an inspiration to me and I love hearing all about your babies and life. I may be a minority (I'm not sure), but i really think it would be lovely for us all to be on the same thread....just my opinion, but i promise that I won't be offended if the majority decide on another thead.

Lots of love,
bel,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Grumpygirl

Hi ladies,
I agree with Bel, if you want to have your own separate thread that's fine with me. I just think it would be a shame really as you're v.welcome on the abroadies thread and she's right, you're our inspiration!

Also, for me, since the new clinic threads have started and my clinic only has little old me going there, there aren't so many of us around and if there was a separate thread for second timers as well as all the other clinics there might only be me chatting to myself on abroadies!!   Obviously I'd have a brilliant time conversing with myself as I'm such good company but still...  

There is a separate thread for those going for tx for a sibling on the main board as well I think. 

I would hope there's nothing you couldn't discuss with us abroadies still trying for our first bfps, the process is after all the same and you wouldn't offend me personally. Plenty of ladies on abroadies are ttc number 2 (Jules, Debs, Bluebell etc). I'd really miss you all if they defected cos you lot had more to talk about. It would be a shame to lose some of the regulars we've all become fond of.

There's my 4 pennorth anyway!

Lots of love and luck for everyone who needs it, ttc number 1,2, 3, 4, or 10!
Giggly
xx


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## Sasha B

Thanks girls, Izzy & I didn't want to separate ourselves (or offend anyone for that matter) from the rest of the Abroadies gang because we really do values & love you girls so much. Our only concern was that we didn't want to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable about reading or posting on the Abroadies thread because of our presence. 

If the consensus is that we'd all rather stay together then great, just as along as everyone is ok with that. I'll put it to Em because she would be a good person to ask.

Sasha xxx


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## bluebell

What lovely posts from everyone !  I can't believe I've known so many of you now for 3 years ! Yes, let's stay together if that suits everyone, but maybe Em would think we should have a poll just to check for the majority view ? 
Love and snogs from Bluebell XXXXX


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## crusoe

I agree with Bel and GG.

I would hate to see you move from the main thread. What I find difficult sometimes is the pregnancy chat from ladies with their BFP's - but that is separate on the bumps and babies thread so I can avoid it if I am feeling vulnerable. (Sorry if that seems mean - but I'm only being honest.)
The trying for a second baby doesn't bother me nearly so much and as Bel says we do understand that the longing for a 2nd baby can be as bad (worse even) than a 1st.
So thanks for your sensitivity Sasha and Izzy etc - but please don't go!
I hope you all get your BFP's soon

Love and luck
Crusoe
xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Good evening,

Sasha and Izzy, I am quite happy to chat to you on here, but I really have never felt awkward about already being blessed with DD and trying for "another miracle". Many of the stalwarts of the Abroadies thread such as Bonnie, Bluebell and RSMUM already have a child.  I

do find that have DD does make the logistics of booking last minute flights harder though, especially as she will soon be starting school. 

My only other problem is I find it hard to keep up if I post on too many threads!  

Bel, Crusoe and Giggly - awww, thanks for being so understanding!

Love and luck to us all, 1st timers, 2nd timers and old timers!!

Jules
xxx


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## bluebell

You lot are such stars I want to jump up and down for joy !  In fact I will ... hang on .....there, I did !
Feelings about all this can be so complex.  Even though I have Ria it can still be hard seeing pg women, especially as I am still going through what would have been my pregnancy if I hadn't had the miscarriage.  I feel embarrassed saying that when I feel that I should just be grateful to have R. However, I even find myself envying myself when I was pg !  How silly is that ?!   I came across various bits of paperwork the other day, including pics of me pg, and didn't really like to look at them.  Hmmm ! I think we are all just to charged with emotion about this, and we bury it much of the time, but it is lurking under the surface not far away, so it is so easy to trigger pain. I cried buckets the other day when Hayley from the Archers announced she was pg.  It was tears of joy for her as she was about to go through IVF ! ...and that's just a tacky soap.  I do have the excuse that I am on drug cocktail for FET tho !
What I do know is that I get inspiration and courage from you lot and love being there for you all too, so as long as we all feel we can be honest.  
Roll on the next Abroadies meet when some of us can meet up again !
Big snogs to you all !

Bluebell xxx


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## Izzy x

Hello you lovely lot! 
Thank you so much for all of your responses. I was feeling a little confused about where to post because I am planning to start some more treatment soon. So many of you are so good at typing messages, you seem to be able to gets your points across in such a lovely way. I sometimes feel like I have a keyboard stammer........i am not always good at writing what i mean to say. 

Thank you to the abraodies who have made me feel welcome to continue posting on the abroadies thread, i think that its great to know that we support each other through every stage. 

I think that this thread has been perfectly named by Sasha. I feel so blessed with one child and wonder if another miracle would be too much to hope for. I think that it would be a good place to post about some issues that are quite specific to having another go and maybe not so specific about the actual treatment because it would be good to stay with the abroadies for that as they have made me feel so reassured about it. 

One thing that has taken me by suprise was my desire to try to use the same donor again and have a child that was directly linked to my first baby. This is why  i decided to go back for my frosties 6 months after the birth. I thought that it would give me a better chance of having the same donor again if the frosties failed. Unfortunately, the frosties did not survive their thaw which was upsetting because they were theoretically the twin of our baby. I felt sad for E (baby boy). Shortly after this, we learnt that the donor was unable to donate again, I hope that this is because all her dreams have come true because she has already given us such a fantastic gift and she must be a wonderful woman, and good looking too (I'm biased!). 

So, we are on the waiting lists again and hoping for treatment in the early part of next year. At Mums and Tots groups, i am constantly asked when i am going to have another child. I generally smile and say that i'll wait until E's at school. Do they really want a full answer! Let me see "I'm currently waiting for a donor and then and then................" ! How funny it would be to see their faces! 

Anyway, lots of    to you all for your lovely messages. 

Bluebell, hope your cocktail is doing its job. Mmmmm, delicious!   i have very similar feelings to you and i guess i'm going to find it quite hard when my fellow mum's and tots friends start announcing their next pregnancies. So many of them tell all about the conception "oh, my husband and  i just had sex for a week and then, hey presto!". i must admit, i now have my own conception story...completely false of course but centred around hanging from chandeliers! 


Sasha, thanks for starting this thread after my email to you. I tried to think of a name but couldn't come up with one. I think you cracked it! 

Best wishes
Izzy x


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## Martha Moo

Hiya ladies

Thanks to sasha for her IM pointing me here

I have just moved house so have been offline as had a fault on the phone line argh

Just logged on now and seen this

The general concensus (sp?) is that you ladies trying for another miracle are welcome upon the the abroadie thread 

However, if you would like me to add a poll so everyone can vote upon this then feel free to shout and i will set one up for you either tonight or tomorrow afternoon/evening

Em


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## bluebell

I think a poll would be a good idea !  We could announce that the poll is going ahead on Abroadies and on Bumps and Babies (and maybe even on the seperate clinic boards ?).

Em, hope the house move went smoothly.  Are you sitting on boxes drinking wine ?

Bluebell xx


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## Martha Moo

Bluebell

fab idea 

I will pop a poll up

No wine no boxes!

well a few in the cellar

No wine cos of tx lots of water and milk  

Hope you and ria are well
Em


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## Sasha B

Em, all the best with the move. Hope it all goes smoothly. Yes, I also think a poll would be great a great idea.

Bluebell, keep   (of the medicinal kind only  ).

Sasha xxx

p.s. We've just had 2 second pregnancies announced as well and one due in December (talk about not wasting time)!


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## Martha Moo

Hi ladies

just to let you know

I have added the poll  

Em


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## Ms Minerva

Em, thanks for the poll, can we have an option for both new thread and Abroadies main thread?

I am more than happy to chat on this thread, but like to keep up with all my friends on the main thread too!!

Jules


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## Martha Moo

sorry i cant amend

if you would like to vote for more thn one option if you IM me the 2nd option i will add in at the end

Em


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## Ms Minerva

OK hun!

Jules
xxx


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## Izzy x

Good idea to have a poll,

I haven't voted on one before, where do you find them? 

Izzy x


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## Martha Moo

Hi izzy

its at the top of this post hun

Em


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## Grumpygirl

Izzy-

DUR!

(Don't worry, was looking for it too!)


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## Izzy x

Ouch! 

What an  

Thats the third thing today! 

Izzy x


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## Martha Moo

Just to clarify

if we decide to go with the two seperate threads ladies trying for another miracle can and am sure will post on the main abroadies thread also 

Em


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## Grumpygirl

If that's the third thing, Izzy, it should be the end of it...


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## Sasha B

I agree with Bluebell, I'd kind of like a place to post about those issues that affects those with existing children in the run up to tx and in the 2ww. Examples of this include the logistics of traveling with a toddler or young child, lifting & carrying during the 2ww etc. This the main reason why I thought a separate thread would be good. It won't stop me (and I hope it won't stop anyone else) from posting on the Abroadies thread as well.

Sasha xxx


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## roze

I am also going to be trying again next year and feel it might be insensitive to discuss issues such as Sasha has raised (and these are very pertinent issues) on the abroadies thread as it might upset some of our wonderful FF's ,or prospective FF's. Prior to having Ella I would probably have been sensitive to this to be honest, as I was prior to the Bumps and Babes thread being established, however I appreciate that others on the other hand may find it insensitive to have a separate thread, which may make some feel excluded. 

Perhaps we could just get this separate thread going on the basis of it being a specific topic/issue rather than a specific group of people, and see how it goes for a few months. If it really isn't working and dliutes the discussion too thinly then  we can disband it. 

Wotcha think?

roze


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## bluebell

I agree.  If I am honest I have held back on being open with some of my feelings for fear of upsetting people, e.g. the pain of my miscarriage (I did talk about it quite a bit at the time, and got loads fo lovely support, but not as much as I would have done maybe, and don't mention it anymore even tho it still upsets me as I travel through the 9 months that would have been and dread the 11th November due date), and the separation I feel from antenatal groups that I meet up with when they announce their second pregnancies.  I remember before I had Ria a friend of mine saying how upsetting it was when antenatal chums go for No 2.  She had IVF at the same time as me, and got pg with her own eggs on the 1st attempt just as I got another BFN for the 4th time with my own eggs, and I remember (although of course I hate having to admit this) feeling really envious of her but also found it difficult to relate to her pain when I had this (I know now disillusioned) vision that once you have one you must be competetly content.  
I think it is great that we are thrashing this out and being honest, as I think it is important that FF is somewhere where we can offload, and not have to hold back, as for many of us this is the only place we can truly express our feelings (and also of course know that there will be people there feeling the same too !).  
However, the last thing I would want to do would be to offend any abroadies by the setting up of a new thread.  I am so fond of everyone that nothing is worth that !
Love Bluebell xxxxxxx


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## RSMUM

HI! See there's a new thread! Ooops - that's MORE time on FF for me I think!


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## Ms Minerva

Bluebell - just wanted to say that I know what you mean about friends have 2nd babies, it hurts sooooo much!!!! It is very difficult to explain, it isn't anything nasty or negative like envy or jealousy, just a feeling that their family is complete, whilst mine is not (yet!) and that is hard.

I am an only child, and I hate that, always have, always will and losing my lovely Dad has only made me more aware of how lonely it can be to go through life without a sibling, so in some ways I am more desperate for a sibling than I was to conceive DD, if that makes any sense to anyone at all.... 

When I have had my BFNs, I have always felt terrible that I have let down DD, so I do agree that there are issues with trying for another miracle.

Having said that, I have always felt understood and supported on the main Abroadies thread!

Jules
xxx

PS RSMUM, welcome home, have posted to you on the main Abroadies thread!


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## Sasha B

Bluebell, I totally agree with you. We all need somewhere that we can come to and offload. I can identify with the whole being completed & fulfilled with just one child. Although some people are, and that's great, I know I'm not one of them. We'll be here for you on the 11th of November hun (as well as any other time) and you can be totally honest about how you're feeling. 


Deb, welcome back!!! Yes, yet more opportunity to do what we do best, CHAT!!!!

Sasha xxx
Sasha xxx


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## ladyblue

Hi All,

I don't know if anyone remembers me, I am an old Abroadie - IM was my clinic.
Embarrassingly I haven't posted since I had Ellie 11 months ago, but I have been lurking in the shadows and keeping an eye on everyone.

I thought I would post on this thread, as I am also hoping to have a FET in September, using my 3 remaining frosties.
Spookily Sasha set this thread up just as I embarked on my first medicated cycle - I have to have 2 full medicated cycles before starting on my 3rd which will be my FET cycle.

I suppose one of the reasons I haven't posted for a while is because I didn't want to upset people by discussing the fact that I wanted to try again - after all, I know I am soooo lucky to have Ellie.

Good luck to everyone hoping for another miracle!

Debs
  x


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## RSMUM

Hi Debs!  Remember me??How are you doing? How come you have to have so many medicated cycles before your FET? What a pain!Sorry if I'm being too nosy..

God I feel bad now about my ramblings on about my DD on the abroadies - hope I didn't offend anyone..

Good luck in September hun and nice to see you back..

Deb X


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## ladyblue

Hi Deb, yes of course I remember you.  How are you?
I'm fine and Ellie is my little ray of sunshine!

I have to have a couple of medicated cycles to get my periods up and running...they are almost non existent nowadays (menopause) and I'm taking pentoxyfiline again to improve blood flow around uterus.
It worked for me last time so fingers crossed.

And you don't ramble on about your DD, it's always lovely to hear about success stories. (well that's what I thought when I was still trying.)

Take care,

Debs
  x


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## Sasha B

Ladyblue,

Fantastic to hear from you. Can you believe our girls are about to turn 1!!! The year has just flown by. I love this age, they are into everything and its wonderful watching them discovering the world around them for the first time. All the best for your FET. Please keep in touch.

Sasha xxx


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## RSMUM

Just bumping this thread up and wondering how you all are...finding this 2ww a LOT tougher now DD is fully aware of what's going on..and has started behaving like she's 13 even though she's only 6!  .

Not sure if I can help any of you at all now you're trying again..think my DD was 2 when we did IVF4 - seems so long ago now... remember all the angst about lifting her, having to get the other mums at the playgroups to help a lot etc...etc....but it's since to just have a forum to chat on I guess..

all the best to you all  

D X


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## Martha Moo

Hiya ladies

just popping in to say a quick 

and tosend RSMUM some       and 

Will IM you tonight being nagged to jump in shower as we are off to the coast with willow at 1130 

love to all
Emxx


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## Ms Minerva

RSMUM - yes, I find it hard to keep my tx secret from friends and family and I am terrified that DD will announce that mummy went to the hospital while we where on "holiday" in Spain and give the game away! For various reasons, we are no longer telling friends that I am still having tx and certainly not family!

But all the "secret squirre" stuff just gets harder the older DD gets....

Jules
xxx


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## bluebell

My DD knows the ACU at out local hospital really well now.  She heads straight for the toybox.  They were short staffed today so nobody could mind her, so she had to watch my scan... very strange look on her face .. I wonder what mummy is having done !?!
Bluebell xxxxxxx


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## RSMUM

Jules - I've been trying to think of how you can get around your problem....trying to come upwith a creative idea.. who is coming with you when you go? How old is your dd? Mine heard us getting the call from Ruth in Marbella and immediately started announcing to the waiters etc " mummy's got 4 eggs! " sigh!

Bloob - how funny! well, not funny but you know what I mean..I can just picture her face!

xx


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## ladyblue

Hi,

Sasha, great to hear from you - wow, is it really over a year since we met up with Eggsey in that lovely hotel?
Time flies when you're having fun!!!!!!!!!
Have you heard from Eggsey? She had a little boy didn't she? I wonder if she is trying again.
I take it from your signature that you are trying again in the New Year? Oooh, good luck to you too. Maybe if we are both successful we could meet up again and show off our lovely bumps and our beautiful daughters.
Ellie is so adorable, always smiling and laughing out loud at nothing in particular. Such a happy little girl...such a happy little Mummy and Daddy!

Debs, I didn't realise you were in your 2ww, bags of fairy dust coming your way! Fingers crossed for you, hope this is the one.      
Oh and the idea of your DD telling all and sundry that you have 4 eggs made me laugh out loud - maybe the waiters just thought you were upping your protein intake!  

Jules, we are also not telling friends and in-laws this time - although my family know (I've never been able to keep a secret from my mum!) The only reason we're not telling my MIL is that she got so stressed last time (in a nice way - she was very concerned for my health, bless her) we thought it would be better to keep it from her this time. And as far as work is concerned I feel a bit guilty, as I've only been back for a couple of months. So mum's the word for now!  

Bluebell, let's hope your DD doesn't start to play Doctors and Nurses and mimicks the scan being done!  

Debs
  x


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## ladyblue

Just wanted to wish beautiful Bella a wonderful 1st birthday - hope you all had a wonderful day!     

Debs

x


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## Sasha B

Thanks Debs, I can't believe she is one whole year! Amazing. Ellie is not far behind. We had a great day. Went to a children's farm in the morning and then in the afternoon we had a little party at home with her cousins and a few friends. 

Have you got any dates for going back to Spain yet?

Sasha xxx


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## RSMUM

I bet you two are just so amazed with your little ones and so much in love with them, I remember so well little R turning one, I couldn't stop thinking how amazingly lucky I was and what a year it had been, can't belive she's 6 now ( going on 16! )..

lol

D X


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## three_stars

Bluebell- I have always had to have DD at most scans as they were often late in the day.  When she was smaller I parked her in her poussette.  As she got older she would look at the screen and when she say round eggs in her mind it reminded her of the Nemo when he was in the egg!  We have a book on animal development for her age and it shows how frogs and fish and such lay eggs and grow from there.  She has been also to most all of my blood tests and wants to help me take my meds and injections even!  As she herself has had so many xrays, scans and so forth she is well oin her way to being a DR and loves to Doctor her mom with her play kit. 

When we recently went to a xray / scan center for her kidney/ bladder problem we were in the waiting room and she say an ultrasound machine in an adjacent room and immediately said " mommy that's the machine the Dr used to put the baby seeds in your tummy!"  

I have had one horrible radiologist ( president of the Paris association even!) who did not want her in the room and I made it very clear that I would not leave my child alone in a room of strangers.  He later printed up a page that he distributed in the waiting room of why it is not good to have children in the scan rooms.  I let the center n=know that I found him very rude and his comments unacceptable when you are a single woman and have no choice. 
I refuse to have him do my scans now.  Not surprisingly he was also very curt and not very thorough.
I supppose though he did have a point on some issues.  If there would be an anomaly or bad news it could be a bad scene and would not be nice to expose her to that.  Usually I have her at first come round the side and hold my hand and she does not always see the screen or not right away.
Love,
Bonnie


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## ladyblue

I just love this age too, Ellie is so inquisitive and wants to engage with everyone and everything around her.
She is such a mimic too, constantly babbling....maybe she get's that from having such a talkative Mum!  

I've been trying to buy her 1st pair of Clarkes shoes, unfortunately a busy time of year combined with her having the widest fitting has meant I can't get hold of a pair yet. Mind you, I don't think she cares, she hates having anything on her feet, even socks.    Let's hope the weather stays warm for a little longer.

If AF appears when I expect it to, then I think we should be heading out to IM around the 20th Sept. Getting closer.  

RSMUM, I hope you are taking it easy now, after such fabulous news!!! I am so chuffed for you.   

Debs
  x


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## bluebell

Hello .... just off to Spain tomorrow so just a quickie before I go.

This thread has been on my mind a bit and thought I would just drop a note before I go. I am just conscious that we are posting on here when actually the majority vote so far in the poll is that we don't have this thread.  I did suggest that Tony maybe gets involved to offer his advice.  Maybe we should just hang fire a bit until it is all decided.  Sorry to be a spoil sport. I just don't want to offend those who voted against and then the thread is carrying on anyway. 

I also think that if we do end up using this thread we should make sure we keep it just for specific issues resulting to trying again for another one when we have already got one/two (e.g. lifting baby during 2WW etc).  General bumps and babes talks I think is best staying on the bumps and babes thread.

Em, any news on what is happening to this thread ?

Love to everyone,
Bluebell xxx


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## Martha Moo

The thread is staying

I had several ims from ladies requesting the thread stay and it was a dead 50/50 split

If you would like me to close this one and restart a new part 1 


Let me know 

Em


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## RSMUM

Bloob..what advice have you been given re: lifting? I always found that the hardest thing. It's hard for me to think back to when I first started trying again - I remember that I wanted to try in the States but they required a mammogram ( as well as colonoscopy and various cancer scans  as well as a billion other tests! ) ..so I would have had to stop breastfeeding..I was lucky as I was here and my mum helped a lot, I remember working out some kind of system for getting her out of the bath ( R not my mum! ) so as to put as little strain on the stomach area as possible. And I just used to get someone else to push her on the swings, in playgroups etc..

When I did my first DE in Manchester, Mr. P "poo-poo'ed " my concerns re lifting a toddler and said " you could have played basketball it wouldn't have made a difference! ".

Of course, my concerns are different now, as she is already telling the whole world about the DE treatment and due back to school tomorrow ( did I tell you all about the "whole class cheering me on"?!   ) I'm now treading a careful tightrope, she knows we've had good news but I don't want her to understand exactly what has happened, so I'm hoping I can just stall with " we won't know if there's  a baby in there for AGES yet"..

I think the hardest thing has been watching other mums over the years come to the storytime sessions etc. with their growing bumps and then their new ones and just the absolute envy mixed in with an anger and absolute fervent desire for every one of my FF mates to get their longer for babies. I also think I am different with R than the other mums sometimes....maybe too soft, I don't know..I think I just fought SO long to get her that I am always aware of it..oh I don't know..maybe I'm just gabbling..

anyway, just wanted to add a bit as I know you are going through a lot of angst at the mo..just hope I can be of some help hun..

thinking of you while you're in sunny Spain.   .and saying a big  to everyone else on this thread..

D X


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## Ms Minerva

RSMUM - I know just what you mean about watching other Mums with their bumps and new babies!

Warning! This maybe be a bit of a rant, it is certainly a "feeling sorry for myself" post.

I hope that this is the right thread to post it on!

It is DDs first day back at school today, new teacher, new classroom, me trying to put on a brave face for her, you get the picture.

The I come across two Mum's of children in DDs class proudly displaying their new babies, born during the school holidays, so DD pipes up with "Mummy, why can't I have a baby brother or sister?! 

Ouch!!

Now at the school gates was neither the time or the place to explain to my 4 year old daughter about my age being a factor plus her Daddy's abysmal  quality  

And she may yet get a brother or sister....

But painful nevertheless... 

Sorry, just had to get it off my chest... 

Jules
xxx


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## Ms Minerva

RSMUM - regarding lifting, as I have yet to get a BFP since conceiving DD, I don't know about during pregnancy, but ARGC always said not to lift during the 2ww, not even any hoovering! 

DH had taken time off during 2ww so that I wouldn't have to lift DD, though it made no difference to the outcome, it is good to know that you haven't risked or inadvertently caused anything.

DH used to come with me to carry the shopping when I was pregnant and I did avoid heavy lifting, I think that the first 12 weeks are the most crucial, whilst the embryos are bedding down.

I must admit that last year when I had tx in Spain I had no choice but to lift my suitcase on and off the carousel, but I am sure that had no effect on the outcome of the treatment, as many Abroadies must carry heavy suitcases during the 2ww!

Bonnie/b123 - DD has been present during scans, doesn't seem to have bothered her or indeed the doctor in the slightest!

Bluebell - if you are reading this in the dodgy internet cafe with a Moroccan looking over your shoulder - Good luck hun! 

Jules
xxx


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## RSMUM

Oh Jules - I didn't realise it was your DD's first day back at school - it's traumatic enough as it is....is it her frist year full time?...I know, there are always so many mums there with new borns or little ones dying to follow their big brother/sisters in etc. It's SO hard to know what to say and how to deal with all you emotions too..I hope you have been able to calm down a bit and have a nice cuppa.

How sweet that your DH did your shopping etc. I think it's mad that the clinics all give us different advice - it's so hard to know what to do for the best. When we thought we were going to be moving to HK duirng my 2ww and then DH messed up the flights as we'd've been going separately he just said to me " well, what do you think porters are for?!" You can imagine my reaction! Going to Spain is a little different than moving halfway across the world for a year don't you think?!    I don't think it had occured to him all the billions of times you lift things during the day - like you say even hoovering...My house at the moment is a wreck as I daren't even do bathroom cleaning stuff - scared of the chemicals...  luckily my mum's due over to do some stuff just to stop it geting too yuk! Ands I've developed a kind of technique for packing the shopping in lots of light bags etc. same with the recycling - I used to hoik HUGE bin bags on the stuff around now I've trained myself to do it in teeny, tiny nags full! Mad I know !  

anwyay, just wanted to send you a cyber hug as I know how upsetting it can be when these things happen...

take care hun

D X


----------



## Ms Minerva

Awww Debs, thanks hun! 

Funnily enough, I did make myself a lovely pot of (decaff) tea and I have drunk it all to myself.

DD is only part-time until January, when she goes full-time, whic I am totally dreading. So many Mums seem so pleased to "get rid" of their children into school, whereas I want my "baby" with me!

Still, January is a long time, and who knows I may have managed my BFP by then! It will then be my turn at the school gates!  

Jules
xxx

PS What about "green" cleaners like Ecover? Though getting someone else to do it is even better!


----------



## RSMUM

Glad you're feeling better - actually you've got a point - I use all that Ecover stuff anyway!  

I SOOO hope you are there in January stroking your bump and looking smug!

DX


----------



## roze

Dear all,

I have to say I am glad that this thread is here as I would not feel happy being candid on the abroadies thread in case it appeared insensitive.  Although I have the lovely Ella,there is an instinctive drive within me to give her a sibling that is itself very overpowering and has taken me by surprise. If I hadn,t had the frosties I would probably not try again with  a fresh cycle, but I am fortunate enough to have 4 so want to give this my best shot.

Ideally I would wait until she is two, however I don't have the luxury of time due to my age. The other side of the coin is that I want to get the second ( and definitely last) try over with as soon as possible so that if it doesn;t work then I can really move on.

Spoke to my NHS consultant today and he is happy to write the necessary letter to ISIDA to get the ball rolling re the second try with frosties as soon as possible. ISIDA stipulated waiting a year after the birth as I had a c section unless they had this letter and they also wanted further confirmation that it was OK due to my age. My doctor here thought it was no problem to try again as early as Dec 07 ( he said we could try now!)  and I will receive the letter any day now. 

It looks likely that I/we will be going over there either at Xmas or half term in Feb 08. I don;t want to leave it any longer than that really as I would prefer to have the early stages of pg, scans, anxiety, etc, when I am still off on maternity leave, and not trying to combine another cycle with work, commuting, stress, and sorting out childcare. I will have Ella of course but I think even the most demanding toddler would be less stress than some of my colleagues, bosses and clients!

The issues that are on my mind include the following , and I would appreciate your comments and advice;
1) Whether we should all go to Kiev or I go alone for what will be 4/5 nights.  Ella will be over 7 months then however I will still worry about her and DP being left alone in the UK and if she became ill I couldn't get home quickly. Parting from her would be dreadful .However it will be very cold in Kiev and there will be issues re her food and the mains water in Kiev which is not drinkable. Is it therefore better to leave her in her own home with her daddy or for both of them to come with me? Or is it unfair to drag them all the way over there.

2) Giving up breastfeeding. Ella is fed both by breast and bottle ( most of her nutrition comes from the formula ) and if I go over for tx in early January I would have to give up completely by the end of November in order to down reg and then take the hormones to build up my lining. Is this fair to her or should I be leaving it a little later?

3) Medication.  I have read on FF that Prostrap is very successful  and has fewer side effects than other meds -  is this better than Synarel for downregging?  Synarel has caused cysts before I don;t want to take the chance of this happening again.

4) Periods.  I haven;t had one yet however did bleed for 9 weeks after the c section. I am b/fing which I know will delay periods but I didnt think it would stop them altogether, especially as I am not providing Ellas whole nutrition. When should I expect these to start again, and does it matter for donor tx?

I would really appreciate advice on these points, sorry to waffle on,

love to all, and thanks,


roze  xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Roze - just a quickie - one point - I know that Prostrap works REALLY well, well, it has for me, one time I had a blood test and there was NO Estrogen in my body   - kind of freaked me out! I certainly was VERY down-regged! 

Will have a think about the other stuff and get back to you if I have any ideas that might help

D X


----------



## ladyblue

Roze, I understand completely where you are coming from, I have had similar questions going around in my head.  
We are hoping to go out to Spain on the 21 Sept for our last 3 frosties - it would be so great to have a full blood sibling for Ellie. If it fails then we probably won't go for another cycle, we'll just count our blessings.

We are thinking of going to Spain without Ellie, not sure if it's wise to drag her away from her routine, especially around eating and sleeping etc. On the other hand I'd love to show the staff at the clinic our little bundle of joy! 
Also, she is quite clingy at the moment and although she knows her Grandma (who will be looking after her) I worry that she will fret for us.  
But I don't want to go on my own - I like the idea that my DH will be there at conception   
So, the bottom line is that we are going alone and intend to treat it like an adult weekend away  

Re the breastfeeding, I personally feel that it won't make a difference to Ella if you stop. I stopped at 8 months, just before I returned to work and fretted about it then, but Ellie made the switch to bottle/formula without any problem at all.

And re periods, I also didn't have a period until I stopped b/f altogether. However my periods are very erratic and I haven't had one since. I am now on a medicated cycle to induce a period - hopefully arriving on Saturday.
I suppose what I am saying is that it may be some time before your periods get back to normal, but it shouldn't affect tx as you can always do a medicated cycle to induce one. 

Sorry, don't know about Prostrap.

Hope this is helpful, wishing you loads of luck with your next tx.    

Debs
  x


----------



## bluebell

Hello everyone from dodgy Spanish cafe.  

Just wanted to say thanks FF for keeping this thread open. 

Roze, I will IM you when I get home as so many of your questions were those that we asked ourselves.  Perhaps it will be easier to chat on the phone about it.

Jules, really feel for you with your school experiences.  I know exactly what you mean.  beofre we had children we could avoid babies and children a bit, but now we have one we can´t, can we ? Every time I meet my antenatal cronies another one announces they are pg, and I know that every single one of them plans for a second.  It is so painful.  Big hugs to you and hope you are feeling a bit better.

Just reeling from my bad news today about my frosties.  Can´t believe that 10 good quality ones can vanish into just one !  Such a shock, and this reallly is my last chance.

Loadsa love from a Bloooooo Bñuebellxx (nice Spanish typo !)


----------



## Ms Minerva

Bñuebellxx - love you new name!

Thank you for thinking of me when you have had such disappointing news today. Enjoy your peach juice! I had to smile at your other thread - being quizzed by an architect!

I sometimes get the urge to lie outrageously to strangers when I am abroad and to make up a dazzling and exciting life!!

But then I sometimes think that the truth would be even wilder - " I am out here, having the embryos created from the eggs of a wonderful, generous, unknown donor implanted in me, which were created by being fertilised by my husband's frozen sperm! 

Man! If that Morrocan is reading over your shoulder, he will be in for a shock!  

Big cyber hugs to you and     for your embie,

Jules
xxx


----------



## roze

Bluebell,

I am so sorry to hear about the frosties.  However this embie may be the one and one is all it takes.

I will keep everything crossed for you, and hope you are not feeling too down about it for now.

Lots of love, and good luck for the ET.


roze  xxx


----------



## roze

PS,  Thanks for all the advice. Unfortunately I can't leave Ella with anyone as we have no immediate family in the country so its either all of us or just me, and I am selfish enough not to want to leave her so far away!

Regards


roze  xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

Hello Hun and welcome!

I am in a similar situation, I have DD conceived from my own eggs and have been trying for a sibling.

Look forward to chatting to  you,

Jules
xxx


----------



## Mandellen

Hello everyone

I posted a few days ago - the first time in a couple of years!! However, I posted onto other threads (Abroadies & over on the Reprofit site in International). After posting I began to worry that my post may have been seen as insensitive as I mentioned that DH & I already had a little boy (via DE IVF in 2005) and that we had decided to go for another miracle at Reprofit in Czech Republic in December. When we went through treatment last time (and the time before that when I m/c at 6 weeks) this board was my daily life line - even more so during the long long 2ww!!!! I met some truly wonderful ladies and the friendliness and support was fantastic. However, since posting I've not even had a hello from anyone which is why I've convinced myself that I've offended people. I have been in the position of desperately wanting a baby and going through hell and back to get there and now I find that I am on that roller coaster of emotions again - only this time I do have my little miracle, but the decision to try for a second has not been taken lightly or for granted. I feel selfish for wanting to try for a second when some are still trying for their first - but the desire to try for a sibling is too strong to ignore. I hope it works for us again and I'm trying to be positive but I on the other hand I can still remember the pain of our m/c.

Anyway I hope that I have not upset anyone and that I will be able to make some more friends on this journey!

Take care and sorry for the rambling!

Mandellen x


----------



## Ms Minerva

Mandellen - big welcome to you too!

I think that the general consensus is that people are more than welcome on the main Abroadies thread, but that we have this thread as a "safe haven" to discuss child related issues that may upset others who have yet to have a child.

Perhaps your post was just over looked? Apologies from me for not saying "hello"!

Jules
xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Yeah, you are very welcome!!   

Sorry, I'd thought I'd said Hi too! 

Seems like we've all been going a little crazy of late - lots of stuff going on..

NO-one was upset by your post at all, I'm sure...everyone is oo happy fro our successes -it just gets too much sometimes.. as we all know...

It's a bloody tough road we're on..

hope we can be here to help you as much as poss hun!  

D X


----------



## Mandellen

Hi ladies

Thank you for your hellos! There really isn't any need to apologise - I wasn't trying to make anyone feel guilty! I'm just pleased (and relieved!!!) that someone wants to talk to me!!!

I hope to chat to you again soon.

Take care ladies and thanks for the reassurance!

Mandellen x


----------



## ladyblue

Bluebell, soooo sorry to hear the news about your frosties, but I just wanted to say that the one that survived must be a heck of a fighter - so hopefully he/she is burrowing in nicely by now.      
Fingers crossed for you.

Mandellen, welcome to the thread - I'm always ready for a chat....you won't be able to shut me up!  
Good luck for your upcoming tx - are you feeling excited/nervous?
I'm feeling excited at the moment, it feels good that we've actually started on this well trodden road again. However I know that I'll be nervous as we get nearer to tx. Too many what ifs.

One step at a time, I suppose.

Debs
  x


----------



## Sasha B

Hi Everyone,

I am so glad that this thread is staying as like Roze I could not feel like I could be completely honest otherwise. 

Deb, your daughter is just fab!!! DE is a wonderful normality for her. Good on her . You'll have the whole school celebrating when you eventually share the news of your BFP! I want Bella to be exactly the same although I can understand your hesitancy at her sharing it with her classmates.

Jules, huge hugs to you. I hope your DD settles in well. If I didn't have the necessity of having to work I wouldn't do it either. It really hurts to not see Bella for an entire day.

Roze, I can appreciate the difficulty of the decisions you have to make. I am having to make the same decision about taking / leaving Bella in January. At the moment I think its best to leave her here with her grandparents as it would be such a huge upheaval for her & I couldn't live post ET anyway so my poot MIL would be left to carry Bella & all out stuff! I will miss her like crazy but I think for me it is the better of the two options. As for the BF, it is such a personal thing that I think only you can know when it is the right time to stop. It doesn't help to have the added pressure of tx either. Finally, I think the time when your periods re-starts can vary but even so its no a huge problem. I have POF and am on HRT to stimulate my monthly cycle so there is always that option if your GP or Isida think it appropriate.

Hi Hun, Welcome!!! I recognise you from the Reprofit thread. Hi too to Mandellen. You haven't offended anyone. Happy to have you join us.

Bluebell, really sorry to hear that this trip has not gone as well as you'd hoped. I remember you mentioning to me that you & dh agreed that this would be the last go. Really hope that this will be your last go because your fighter embie has snuggled in.

Ladyblue, it must feel good but strange to be on the tx roller coaster again. It is very different with a little one although amazingly, and I don't say this often, the desire to go on and have a second baby is just as strong as the initial desire to have the first. I never thought this would be the case.

Re lifting. This is my personal philosophy. If you have young children you can't avoid lifting. How many thousands of woman lift their toddlers every day not even knowing that they are pregnant. I think if you can lift correctly ie. get down on your knees. Get the child to stand up  and / or stand on something before you lift them then you can do so with minimum strain. Being by myself I would have no choice in the matter anyway. Where I will seek assistance however is in lifting in & out of the bath and even whilst they are in the bath because it takes a lot of muscular strength to bend over the side of the bath. I think its the bending and the lifting combined which can be harmful.

Must go to bed as I am up early tomorrow again. Just can't keep away from all my FF buddies .

Sasha xxx


----------



## tsup

Hello Ladies
I wonder if I can join you.  must admit I have been a lurker for ages so feel like I know many of you.
I have a 19months old boy from DE at IM and have had an unsuccessful FET with our three remaining embies on July. It has affected me more than I would like to admit, but have felt that I couldn't be honest about my feelings on the other threads because I understand that other people could be offended. Anyway, I am now wondering if I should have a look on my POF condition before getting on with things and waiting to see if our donor can change her mind about donating for us again. 
Good luck to Bluebel on her 2ww!
Take care
Tsup


----------



## RSMUM

Just a quickone to say WELCOME and I just LOVE your name!


----------



## Martha Moo

Hiya ladies 

Just popping in quickly

Bluebell i am thinking of you and your precious embie and sending lots of                         

Welcome to hun

and also to say

Happy 1st birthday for ladyblues Ellie tomorrow
Have a wonderful day together

Love to all
Em


----------



## Sasha B

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY ELLIE!!!     

Lots of love,

Sasha & Bella xxx


----------



## ladyblue

Thanks for the birthday wishes (on Ellie's behalf)

Just a quick note to say we had a fab day and Ellie's favourite pressie was a badge on one of her cards!!!!!
Closely followed by balloons which had her in fits of laughter all day!!!  

Debs
  x


----------



## Mandellen

Hi Ladies

Just wanted to say hi and hope that evryone is ok.

I am sitting here with just over 11 weeks to go until DH & I (& our little boy and my Parents!!) fly out to Reprofit!

Despite having been through it all before I am starting to get that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach -its an odd feeling this time as we have had a m/c with our first attempt at DE IVF and that felt as if my whole world had collapsed and then we were so lucky to have had success last time with the safe arrival of our gorgeous little boy (we will be eternally grateful to Care Manchester). So this time round I have so many emotions swimming around my head going through all the possible outcomes. Part of me feels as if we shouldn't be allowed to be blessed a second time when so many women have had so many failed attampts to have a precious bundle and we already have one. The need a second time is almost as strong as the first time. It's so hard to hear of friends almost timing when they will have their children when DH & I just can't do that  - ours (like so many of you other ladies) is a hard journey that takes months of planning, tablets, check ups and lots of money that we are not fortunate enough to have just sitting in the bank!! It's hard to believe that we have been going through all of this for 5 years now - we found out just after we got married that I would need donor eggs & it was our 5th wedding anniversary on the 7th September - where have the years gone?!!!

Anyway,  feeling sorry for myself as the reality of treatment again is looming! My little boys has just given me his tractor so it looks as if we are playing now!!! He will always make me smile!

Take care and sorry for the whinge!

Thinking of you all and can't wait to hear about some BFP's!!

Take care

Mandellen


----------



## bluebell

Mandellen, your little boy look so lovely. 
I wish you all the very best on your trip, and it will be great to have everyone there with you for support !  I can completely relate to all you said, about feeling guilty about thinking you deserve a second, but that the desire for a second is just as strong as the 1st.  Wishing you the very best of luck.
Bluebell xxxx


----------



## tsup

Hello everyone,
Just wanted to wish Bluebell good luck for testing tomorrow! Remember it only takes one...
I have a question for you girls trying for another miracle. We have just used our frozen embies (July FET) and don't know if we are going to be able to get our donor to donate again for us. It seems to be becoming very important for me that she does. Does that make sense to you? Do you mind having another donor? 
Of course I know that further on, if all goes well, I will feel very attached to our second donor too, if there has to be a second one, but right now I have yet to come around it. 
Hope everyone is doing well,
Tsup


----------



## Hun

good luck Bluebell   

hun xx


----------



## bluebell

Thank you lovely ones !!

I'll let you know tomorrow.

Bluebell xxxx
PS  Tsup I will reply to your posts about the donor another time soon when it's a bit less fraught for me.


----------



## ladyblue

GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROW BLUEBELL
I have everything crossed for you       

Tsup, we have 3 frosties left from our last attempt and are booked in for tx this Friday. 
If tx is successful then he/she will be a full blood sibling for Ellie, so I totally understand what you are saying.
However, if unsuccessful, then we have decided not to go for another donor.
I suppose that I want to concentrate on Ellie - I still feel so incredibly blessed to have her - but also age is against me too.
However, I'm sure that you will feel just as close to another donor, remember that your first donor was a stranger too before you started.

Mandellen, I too wish that I didn't have to plot and plan and take numerous pills, patches , pessaries etc just to give myself the possibility of hope for 2 weeks. It's all the more desperate this time as I know that if it is unsuccessful then it is all over for us. 
However, we know that it CAN work and I suppose that is why we put ourselves through all this. For the possibilty of holding another precious bundle in our arms.

Take care,

Debs
x


----------



## Mandellen

Hi ladies

Bluebell - Wishing you lots and lots of luck for your test tomorrow - I've been checking for a few days just to see if you had an early result! I'll be thinking of you x

Tsup - Regarding the donor - when we had our gorgeous little man we didn't have any embryos to freeze so we were very lucky to become pregnant with the 2 embryos that were put back. We are now going to Reprofit to try for a sibling using a different donor (again anonymous). DH & I talked at length about having different donors for our children and we decided that as it was DH's sperm did it really matter that they didn't have the same donor? We are Mummy & Daddy and I carry the baby from day dot. Also, our little boy looks the spitting image of Daddy! Although his characteristics are uncannily mine!! I hope that this helps.

I hope that everyone else is ok.

Take care

Mandellen xx


----------



## roze

Hi Bluebell

Have left a message and tried to IM ; will send IM at a later time - best of luck for tomorrow.


roze


----------



## bluebell

Hello lovely abroadies hoping for another miracle !

Just to let you know that it was a BFN for me today girls.  I am absolutely devastated.  I will have to set up a new thread for 'Abroadies at the end of the fertility journey'.  Not sure how I am going to cope with coming to terms with it. Thank you for all your lovely posts.  There seems to be something wrong with my personal messages system, ie saying my inbox is full when I cleared loads out of it, so might not be able to get PMs if any of you try to send one.

Thanks for all your lovely wishes and big hugs to you all.  

Roze, sorry we didn't get a chance to chat  Please feel free to phone me any time.

Love Bluebell xxxx


----------



## ladyblue

Oh Bluebell, I am so sorry hun.  
Hope you are taking care of yourself, it sounds like you could do with some time to yourself to let all this sink in.
It must be so hard to come to terms with everything.
Sending you cyber hugs,       

Take care,

Debs
  x


----------



## tsup

*Bluebell*,so sorry to read your news. From my recent experience, BFN is not any easier but then again life in itself is so much better when you have a child. It doesn't make any sense, but I think it is just different, allthough just as hard, but maybe instead of desperation it is sadness... Anyway... it is obvious I can't put it in words. Of course I don't know what it feels like to have reached the end of your fertility journey. Take care and try to focus on what you have. That is what I say to myself when I feel sad.
*Debs*, Good luck and everything crossed for you on Friday!
*Mandellen* and *Debs*, thanks for sharing your thought about the donor, I still have got no news.
*Mandellen*, we have similar stories, found out 5 years ago, had a m/c on the first attempt and then a BFN, then a BFP and our boy. I was more stressed when we went back for our frosties and somehow trying to control things, don't really know why. Maybe it was not a good attitude and maybe being more relaxed does help. I wish you the best!
Hope everyone is doing fine!
Tsup


----------



## Sasha B

Debs,

Just popping into say I hope all goes well with your three frosties and that they all survive the thaw nicely. 

Sasha xxx


----------



## RSMUM

Good luck for Friday Debs   

X


----------



## ladyblue

Thanks for your good wishes, it's only just sinking in that tx is imminent.

I feel so stressed at the moment - Ellie is only just recovering from croup, so I have had several sleepless nights and now I have a cold.  
We are leaving Ellie with my parents (who are staying at our house) but I feel so guilty now that she is ill and needs her mum.
Anyway, it is a done deal, so we are leaving early tomorrow.

It all feels so different to the last few times I have done this journey, I don't feel as if I have given it the best chance - I'm really nervous about the thaw aswell, we have never had any problems before so it's sods law that there will be problems now.

Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow, or more importantly on Friday.

Speak soon,

Debs
  x


----------



## RSMUM

Just had a thought -not sure if any of you are interested, but I'm a member of ACEBABES - it's an organisation set up to support people with kids born through assisted conception. We recently did a booklet about telling your kids about IVF etc. 

anyway, just a thought..you can find them at 

www.acebabes.co.uk

DX


/links


----------



## ladyblue

Hi Ladies,

Well I'm back from Barcelona with mixed emotions - only 1 embie survived the thaw (the worst one of the 3 at grade 7, 2 cell) but at least he/she is safely on board now. And I know it only takes one.....  

So on with the dreaded  

And we have decided that whatever the result, we have come to the end of our journey. This is just too hard emotionally and I want to be able to enjoy Ellie to the max.  

Mind you, ask me again in 2 weeks time!  

Love to all,

Debs
  x


----------



## RSMUM

Best of luck!      Will be willing your little embie on over the next 2weeks hun    

Quick news from me as I'm on - saw the midwife on Friday who got me in for a scan on Monday as I'm still spotting, so scared/excited but pleased I'm not waiting until next Friday now. Really freaked me out though as I daren't think further than the next scan and she wanted me to decide which hospital I was going to etc...   I'll post as soon as  get back on Monday.

Feet up Ladyblue and enjoy your weekend all of you

D XXXXXXXXX


----------



## Mandellen

Hi Debs

I know that there is only 1 on board but I bet he/she is a real fighter!! I know how hard this journey is and you go through every emotion - at least twice in a day!!! I know exactly what you mean about your little girl as DH feel the same about our precoius little man.

I will be thinking of you during your 2ww & if you ever need to chat (even about our current little ones!!) I am usually lurking around somewhere!!

You take care of yourself and your precious cargo.

Sending you lots of     &  

Mandellen x


----------



## Ms Minerva

Debs - sending sticky vibes to your little embie!

RSMUM - will be thinking of you on Monday.

Sasha - how are you? How is the job going? I do hope that leaving your beautiful Bella is getting a little easier each day.

Big "hello" to everyone else!

Jules
xxx


----------



## Sasha B

Thanks for asking Jules, yes it  is a bit easier now, although I always have this sinking feeling when I have to leave her at the beginning of the week. Bella has started nursery and she is settling there as well, although she only has the place until January so now the race is on to find her somewhere half way decent (being in childcare myself I suppose I'm very picky where I leave her. 

Hope you are well.

Sasha xxx


----------



## bluebell

Ladyblue-Debs !,  sending you all the stickiest vibes for your little embie. Hang in there little one !  I was impressed by your calm at announcing this would be your last go.  I made such a song and dance about it in comparison !  Hopefull,y this last chance will be successful for you.  Wishing you all the best !

Sasha, glad things working out for you with little Bella and work.  Hope to speak again soon.

RSMUM, already wished you good luck on the abroadies thread, but here's another big dose of it for your scan !

Love to everyone esle,
Bluebell xxxxxx


----------



## RSMUM

Just a quickie to let you know all went well with my scan - so incredibly relieved!!!


----------



## safarigirl

wonderful news RSMUM .... so excited for you


----------



## bluebell

Great news Mrs mummy to beeeeeeee !
Bluebellxxxxx


----------



## Sasha B

Debs, 

Hang in there. Thinking of you & your little embie on your 2ww.

Sasha xxx


----------



## Ms Minerva

RSMUM - that is great news, so pleased to hear that it is all going OK!

Jules
xxx


----------



## Mandellen

RSMUM - I'm so pleased all went well!

Take care oif yourself and your precious little passenger.

Mandellen x


----------



## ladyblue

Thanks to everyone who is sending sticky vibes....let's hope they do the trick.  
I'm feeling ok at the mo, fairly buoyant actually, but I know of old that the paranoia soon sets in.  

Debs, I'm so glad your scan went well, it must be such a relief.

Sasha, I know how hard it is to leave our little ones in childcare, I hope you're not suffering too much. I like to think that Ellie benefits from going to Nursery as she mixes with lots of other kids, which as an only child she wouldn't normally do. 

Bluebell, I didn't realise I sounded calm - I suppose we had already made our decision by the time I wrote it, but I certainly had a lot of angst whilst trying to reach a decision. I don't even think I'm 100% sure now, but I guess that I never would be....if that makes any sense?  

Mandellen, thanks for your lovely post, I'm hoping that this embie is a fighter too....just like me!  
If I'm lucky enough to have a BFP I'm going to take a career break for a few years, and if not, then I think I will go part time. I just think these early years are so precious and I don't want to miss more than I have to.

Hope everyone is ok,

Debs
  x


----------



## Sasha B

Sorry girls, but a me post follows (don't mean to wallow really).

Its just that I have my next cycle booked for January and it seems things won't be as straight forward as I thought. MIL who would have taken care of Bella will have to have a pacemaker fitted in the next few weeks and will have to take it easy for up to 6 months afterwards. I really feel for her but don't feel I can put my tx on hold for that long if I don't need to. My only option is to ask my father (who I know will hit the roof when I tell him about trying for no 2) to come with us. I have dreaded doing this & wanted to put it off for as long as possible but now it seems I won't be able too. I know he will get angry and try & change my mind. He'll argue that its financially irresponsible and not in Bella best interests. I so dread this but I am going to have to tell him this weekend as I want to book hotels & flights asap. Its hard enough not having dh around but on top of that, not to have the full emotional support of my dad makes it worse. I would like to think that he won't react this way but I am pretty sure he will based on past experience.

Just looking for some moral support from my FF buddies as a drum up the courage to tell him.

Thanks for listening,

Sasha xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Sasha - Oh dear, what rotten timing for your MIL to be "out of commission" for 6 months!!

My parents where totally against me having any more treatment because they worried about the effect of taking all the drugs and on the impact on my health of being pregnant in my 40's..

Is there anyone else that you could take with you? A close friend for instance, if you Dad isn't going to be supportive, I would try to find someone else who is, difficult to do, I realise.

Big hugs to you,

Jules
xxx


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## bluebell

Sasha, so sorry to hear about your dilemma.  Tx is so stressful anyway without having added worries.  Are you planning to take Bella with you or to leave her at home with the person looking after her ?  As Jules says, is there someone else who could step in ?  I know it must be hard when there aren't that many people who know about your tx.
If there really isn't anyone else, then I think you are still right to go to your dad.  Even if he is funny about it, he is still your dad and he surely must have to help you.  I suppose the best thing would be to tell hom as soon as possible so that he has plenty of time to get used to the idea and to plan how he will look after Bella. He knows how strong you have been in getting yourself a good job and making sure Bella is well looked after, so he knows your capabilities and knows you are a sensible person.
We will be here to help you, and if you want to bounce off us with what you plan to say to him then please do !!
Big, big hugs to you and Bella and thinking of you both. 
Bluebell xxxxxx


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## three_stars

Dear Sasha,

Wanted to say sorry to hear about your MIL needing a pacemaker... hope all will be OK.
If you do not want the added stress of telling your DAD right now, why not just go on your own?  I took DD to almost all of my tx abroad and only had her dad there twice.  I know Bella is younger but actually that should make it easier.  She can stay in her stroller and I am sure there will be staff about to give you a hand if needed.  ALso she likely does not weigh too much yet so lifting her in the days to follow should be fine.  Or see about having hired help through the hotel... would likely cost ess then the extra ticket of someone coming along.  Just an idea.

Love,

Bonnie


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## bluebell

Sasha I have sent you a PM.
Bluebell xxx


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## RSMUM

Sasha- just to let you know I've been thinking of you - I really hope there is someone else you can find to come with you - that would take a lot of the pressure off having to tell your father - but then I understand how difficult it must be if as Bluebell says, not many people know about your tx. I think Bonnie wil be able to really help you with advice if you decide to go for it on your own. At least the flight is short, and you can book the clinics driver who wil be incredibly helpful....in fact everyone at the clinic is lovely..

Anyway, not sure I've been of much help - sorry


Ladyblue - how are you feeling?  

Jules - how are you doing? 

Hope you are all ok 

Rsmum X


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## ladyblue

Sasha, what a horrible position to be in, especially when you need support not criticism.  
Maybe it would help to think of what he may accuse you of and have answers already prepared.
Or tell him 'When you say that it makes me feel ......'  Surely he won't want to hurt your feelings deliberately?
I know I'm not being much help, so I'll be thinking of you over the weekend and sending you my fighting spirit to give you some courage.  

Debs, I'm fine so far. A bit tired today after driving 120 miles to meet my brother for a couple of hours, and then driving 120 miles back home. As my mum said, 'it was a bit far to go for lunch!'  
So not a lot of time to over-analyse things today.
I suppose, being the realist that I am, I don't really think this will work. But I'm also an optimist, so a small part of me keeps on hoping!  

Debs
  x


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## Sasha B

Thanks everyone for all your lovely replies. Yes. there is a lot to think about. I guess I'm just trying to solve the problem all at once instead of taking one step at a time. I have done a budgeting plan that I can show my dad which will prove that I can support two children financially (just) as that will be his one and only concern. That and how Bella may loose out because there will be less material provision for her. She will have the necessities (and then some) but then she will gain so much more by having a sibling. 

Bluebell your IM brought tears to my eyes, I wasn't able to reply as your in box is still showing as full. Huge mega hugs for your very kind offer & for the other thing you mentioned as well.

Debs, wow that was a rather long way to go for a bite to eat. Hope your little embie is snuggling in & that test day comes around quickly for you.

Will keep you updated. I will break the news to my dad next week.

lots of love to all my fab FF buddies,

Sasha xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Sasha - glad to read that you have a plan to win your Dad over! You are so right that having a sibling is more important than having extra money! I am an only child, hated it when I was young, still hate it, in some ways it is worse when you are an adult, as I found out when my Dad died this year..... 

My unhappy experience of being an only child is the one thing that drives me on to have a sibling for DD!!!

Love to all,

Jules
xxx


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## caroline in Geneva

Hi Everyone,
I hope this is the right place to post this but I have my first appt. w/ IM November 23rd for a possible DE cycle and I'm bringing my two year old, as well as DH of course, and am worried he is going to have one of his terrible tantrums while we are in the doctor's office discussing DE!  I know this sounds strange but for some reason its worrying me, we are in the throes of the "terrible two's" with DS at the moment and he has become a screamer, for absolutely nothing at all.  In fact, everything I want him to do makes him scream  .  I have visions of the Doctor wondering what in the world are they doing here  .  Has anyone gone on these visits with a toddler in tow?  I have no one to keep him as both of our families are in other countries.
Thanks for your input.
Caroline


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## Ms Minerva

Caroline - I have gone to all my appointments with a toddler in tow! I have just had to cross my fingers and hope for the best!!

If the worst happens and he does throw a wobbly, then I am sure that DH will be able to take him out for a couple of minutes.

And the "terrible twos" do pass!

Welcome to the thread and good luck with your treatment.

Jules
xxx


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## Mandellen

Hi Caroline

DH & I are heading off to Reprofit in Czech in December  - we will also have our 2 yeard old Son with us! He is an absolute angel but also prone to the 'terrible twos' for no apparent reason! Screaming, throwing himself on the floor you name it! You are not alone!

Wishing you lots of luck - hopefully we can 'chat' again before you go - by the way your appt on 23 Novemeber is my Sons 2nd Birthday!

Take care

Mandellen x


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## RSMUM

Just popping to wish Ladyblue the best of luck- not sure when you are testing hun..   

and, also thinking of you Sasha and wondering how the chat went 

hi to everyone else - best of luck to those going out for tx and hope your littlies behave themselves - all the advice I can think of is loads of treats and hope for the best!!!


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## roze

Hi, all the best to everyone.  Sorry I haven;t been around much but feeling a little blue these days myself so will be back on the boards when feeling more like myself!

love 

roze  xx


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## Sasha B

Sending Ladyblue huge massive sticky vibes for TEST DAY!!! It can't be long now. Really hope your little one sticks.

Roze, so sorry to hear you are feeling down. Hang in there hun. xxx

Hi to everyone else. RSMUM, hoping to chat to my Dad on Saturday. Thanks for your thoughts. My GP has agreed to do all my screening tests, which I am very relieved about. I feel like I am taking my first tangible step toward this next cycle.

Lots of love,

Sasha xxx


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## ladyblue

Sorry to put a downer on things but I thought I would let you u know that I did a peestick test this morning and it was a BFN.  

Gutted.

Obviously I will keep on with the meds until the official result on Friday, but I know that this is it.
And it's the end of the road for us too. 
No more attempts.  

I know I will get over this - at least I have my DD - but at the moment I can only think about what could have been.

Thanks for listening

Debs
  x


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## Ms Minerva

Oh Debs, so sorry... 

Sending  you and DH big hugs  

Jules
xxx


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## RSMUM

Oh Debs, that is such sad news - how many days post ET will you be on Friday?

Loads of hugs

Deb X


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## Mandellen

Dear Debs

Really sorry to hear your news - big hugs to you & DH.

Take care of yourself

Mandellen xx


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## ladyblue

Hi All,

Well I had my official result today (14dpt) and it was a  

Not that I wasn't expecting it - I had done some peestick tests - but it is still very hard to deal with.     
This is the end of the road for us, no more transfers to look forward to.

Looks like it is just the 3 of us from now.
However I look at my DD and I am overwhelmed with love for her, and I know she will keep me sane.  

So all that remains is to say   to FF and thank you for all your lovely support.  

Debs, I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy.....and an easy birth!!!!!!!!

Sasha, Good luck for your next tx, I really hope your dreams come true.

And to everyone else, I hope you all manage to keep sane on this mad, mad journey and ultimately achieve your dreams.




Debs
  x

PS. I will be popping in every now and then just to keep an eye on you all!


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## Sasha B

So sorry Debs. I was so hopeful it had worked. I am gutted for you. Give your beautiful DD an extra special big hug.

love,

Sasha xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Ladyblue - I am so, so sorry, was so hoping that you may still have had good news today, please keep in touch with us.

Sasha - big hello to your and Bella, how are things going with your plans to chat to your Dad? Thinking of you.

Jules
xxx


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## bluebell

Just checked in from parents' house and seen your sad news Ladyblue.  Be kind to yourselves as I know how tough it is to be in your position.  I am inpsired by your courage !  Big big hugs to you, DH and DD.  Please don't desert abroadies completely ... we'll miss you too much ! 
Loads of love and back from hols,
Bluebell xxxxxxxxxxx


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## Ms Minerva

Bloobs - hope that you are having a lovely and restorative holiday! Big hugs!


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## Mandellen

Hi everyone

Sorry in advance for the me post but I didn't know where else to go....

..I have had a horrible day - our precious little man managed to pull a bowl of hot water all over his arm this morning - DH & I have spent the day in various hospitals, finaling ending up at a Burns hospital about 30 mins from home - James and I were taken by ambulance from the A & E dept that we went to and Daddy followed in the car. James has been such a brave little man all day despite being in a lot of pain - he has had morphine, nurofen - all sorts really. I was in tears and felt so helpless - my poor baby, I could do nothing to help him just give lots of cuddles and kisses. When they called the plastic surgeon down to look at him I thought the worst and couldn't stop crying. Thankfully they don't think that it has done too much damage and after cleaning and dressing it they let him come home. He has been fantastic and is happily playing, despite having his arm and 2 fingers bandaged - he looks such a sorry state. We have to take him back on Thursday to change dressings and then assess the burns again. I feel so sick and numb even now and feel as if I could cry again at anytime. Really sorry to burden you all with this.

James is the most precious thing in our lives and I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.

Hope that you are all ok and have had a good weekend - will try and catch up with you all when I can think straight!

Take care everyone

Mandellen xx


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## Ms Minerva

Mandellen - what a nightmare! Poor little chap! And poor you and DH too!

So sorry that you have all had to go through such a traumatic experience.

I friend of mine's child was scalded this year with hot tea and was treated at a London Hospital burns unit and has made a great recovery - no scarring at all!

I am sure that James will be just fine in no time.

Jules
xxx


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## RSMUM

Madellen - What a an awful thing to happen - your little boy sounds like such a little trooper though and soudns like he had brilliant care at the hospital - I so hope he makes a speedy recovery and you and DH are able to calm down a little this eveing - what an absolute nightmare! Will be thinking of you all on Thursday.

Debs - so sorry to read about you BFN and thank you so much for your kind thoughts - to be honest, I can;t even think furtehr than the nuchal tests and scan now ..the birth just seems a lifetime away!

Jules - how are you doing hun? 

Sash - thinking of you too

Bluebell - lovely to see you back 

Hi to everyone else I haven't mentioned...better get R to bed 

Loads of love to you all

D X


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## Sasha B

Oh Madellen , your poor brave little man. It must have been heartbreaking for you. As he is young & his skin is still very supple it does mean that hopefully there will be no lasting scars. A huge hug to you. 

Bluebell, hope you had a relaxing holiday. I bet Ria had lots of fun.

Hi to Jules, RSMUM, Ladyblue & all the other fab girlies on this thread.

Well, I talk to my Dad tomorrow. I just hate the thought of having to justify to him why I want to have another child. If dh were alive this wouldn't be an issue (it makes me miss him all the more & it is a very lonely place to be). I have discussed it at length with my mum & she has talked about a lot of negative senarios. She is worried that I won't be able to feed, clothe & financially care for 2 children. Things will be tight, assuming it does happen, but I would never do this if I didn't think that I couldn't provide for the entire family. All I want is the emotional support of my parents especially as I am doing this on my own. Am I being unrealistic? I don't have all the answers, but then who does? Don't think I'll get much sleep tonight. Thanks for listening girls. Sorry this has turned into a bit of a 'me' post. 

Sasha xxx


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## three_stars

Dear Madellen-  your story of your little boys accident brought tears to my eyes as it brought back memories of when my DD first feel and hit her head really badly.  Most of the time they are ok but we as parents feel so much guilt... it is so hard.  It sounds like he will be fine or they would not have sent him home.  You can keep him on Paracetamol and alternate it with Advil for kids if the pain sets in before the next dose.  That is what I finally had to do for DD with this recent surgery.  ( Dr. advised it of course)

Ladyblue- I sent you an PM  

Sasha-  courage for tomorrow.  I am wracked with worry nearly every day but I know I will manage.  Kids need more love and time from their parent then things really.  I am sure your parents will adore all your children and at least you have them in your life.  I know they will help you as best they can.  You will be OK.  If you were pg by accident you would not even be having these discussion or worries.. you and your parents would just get on with it, right?

Love to everyone else
b123/  bonnie


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## Sasha B

Thank you Bonnie. Your post encouraged me. The 'chat' went so much better than I was expecting. Dad listened to the reasons why I want to try again and then shared some of his concerns, each of which I was able to address. Having set in out in black and while how I would be able to afford the cost of another child really helped as well. I just can't believe it went so well. At the end of it all my dad said he would support whatever decision I make & then I told him about January. Bluebell, thanks for your very kind offer to help look after Bella. Mum & Dad will have her the four days while I am away. I've booked her into the childminder for two of those days and then her aunt & uncle (on dh's side) will have her for one day as well). So now I can finally book my flight & hotel.

Thanks so much everyone, for just being there. I can't tell you how precious FF is to me and how much you all have helped me over the last few years.

love,

Sasha xxx


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## Ms Minerva

Sasha - that's great news about your chat with your Dad, so pleased for you that it went well!

RSMUM - I am doing OK, DD has settled into new class at school, I am on a losing weight and getting fit kick, gearing up to going again in the new year...I have put DH on vitamins in an attempt to improve his   as we always need ICSI and they are described as "adequate with ICSI" talk about damning with faint praise!

When is your next scan? Has the spotting stopped? 

Madellen - I do hope that you DS is feeling better and that it all goes well on Thursday.

Jules
xxx


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