# Don't be fooled and don't be afraid to question.



## daisyboo (Apr 5, 2005)

bx


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Daisyboo I am sorry to hear you are going through this 

once the legal ao is through it is the same rights as if that child was born to you . Why are they telling you that you have to have contact even if you don't want ?

Big hugs

x


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## Suzie (Jan 22, 2004)

Oh dear  I am sorry to hear that. 

I hope it gets resolved quickly for you 

just out of interest does the family member know your details etc ? X


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Daisyboo


It's good to be reminded that things aren't always straight forward, but I'm sorry you have found yourself in this position   


I had heard elsewhere that it was now the case that you could be taken to court for not doing what you said you'd do, it's just not fair - once a child is yours then that should be the end of it.   


Sounds like you have been considerate to the BF in terms of saying they should know where they stand and how you feel.  


I hope it is resolved quickly for you   


Bx


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## Camly (Dec 12, 2006)

hiya daisyboo

im so sorry ur having to go thru all this.  i know only too well about contact.  Im sure i have heard of this before - that BF can go thru courts to try and get contact etc.  its all wrong if u ask me.  

keep positive and hopefully you will get the right outcome.     

lots of love camly x x x x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

so sorry daisyboo that you in this position..how dare SS put you in this sort of position by lying through their teeth   
if you've read/know our story you know that,like you, we didnt over-question the issue that cropped up in our matching procedure, we put our faith in the system and oh how we wished we hadnt trusted them so much  

if you havent already i suggest you make a formal complaint to the head of your adoption team, really stamp your foot as this being lied to is totally unacceptable  

big  

kj x


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

ps are you a member of AUk cos they do have a legal team that offer advice and support..it could be worth contacting them if you have time?


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.  No advice but I wanted to send you some hugs xxx


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## Guest (Jun 9, 2010)

I'm sorry you are in this position and hope things are resolved painlessly soon.  Big ((hugs)).

I am not really aware of your story or why you have chosen not to have direct contact, but in our experience limited direct contact, if managed well, can be a positive experience for all.  If you want to discuss it more, feel free to PM me.  

Bop


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## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

We are adopting from overseas and may be party to a limited legally binding contact agreement BUT we were told firmly on our prep course that for those adopting from the UK contact agreements are NOT legally binding.  It is not like having joint custody or contact with a non-custodial birth parent.

I would be investigating what the law says quite closely if I were you.

We are positive about the idea of contact and as Bop says there are many reasons it might be a positive experience but I have been told clearly the legal situation in the UK is that adoptive parents get to make the decisions.


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Here is what I think is the relevant legislation and notes:

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2006/pdf/ukpga_20060020_en.pdf

http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2006/en/ukpgaen_20060020_en.pdf

and for those in Scotland

http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2003/09/18213/26624

Basically, (although I'm no expert) the courts can place a "contact order" onto an adoption. This IS legally binding. In most adoptions "contact agreements" are made and these ARE NOT legally binding. Contact Orders are only used in "exceptional circumstances" and the BF need the permission of court to apply for one.

Sounds like Daisyboo may have a contact order and hopefully her legal team will be able to advise her and this horrible and stressful situation will be resolved quickly. 

Bx
/links


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## ❣Audrey (Aug 22, 2008)

I was going to say that on our prep course at the weekend we were told that a contact agreement is legally binding for 3 years.

I really do hope this is resolved soon xxx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

Hi Daisyboo..just wondered how things are going..any news?

kj x


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## Old Timer (Jan 23, 2005)

Hi Daisyboo
So sorry you are having to go through this nightmare, hope it all turns out right in the end.

Also Thank you!  We are currently being considered for a child where DC is on the cards with siblings that live with grandparents and my first question was 'will it be a contact agreement or order?'  According to our SW a contact order is granted at the time of placement orders but only in extreme circumstances, its very rare for contact orders to be done in the LA I'm from.

Good luck
OT x


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