# Donor Experiences



## Millie25 (Jun 8, 2010)

Hi there,

I am very interested in hearing others experience of being a donor recipient. If you have been through the process and can answer any of my questions I would really appreciate it.

I have been diagnosed with POF, my husband is fine, and have been told our only chance of a child is with donor eggs.  I am finding it difficult to get my head round the whole situation but would love to hear others experiences.

Thanks!

1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm?

2. Did you go private or NHS?

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic?

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process?

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)?

6. How did you feel about the experience?

7. How did you partner feel?

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc?


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## gemmy_gemgems (Feb 15, 2008)

I have crohns disease, permanant ileostomy and stage 4 endomitriosis...  using an egg donor was my only option of conceiving.  We had 3 fertilised eggs... first round using 1 egg failed and we have 2 embies left.  Currently down regging.
We've decided once these 2 embies are used this will be the end of the TTC journey for us as we don't want to spend years TTC.  I've been sick for the last 6 years and just want to be healthy again..


1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm?  We have 2 frozen babies, using egg donor and Dh sperm.

2. Did you go private or NHS?  We went down the NHS route, only waited 4 months for a donor.

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic?  Aberdeen Fertility Clinic, they have been fantastic

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process?  I'm the process of DR for FET in July.

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)?  We are still deciding, i feel we should, but DH isn't so sure...its something we will decide when the time comes.

6. How did you feel about the experience?  I've coped better than i thought i would.

7. How did you partner feel? mmm... he doesn't say too much the whole donor thing terrified him to begin with and he didn't want to do it but its our only option.

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc?  N/A


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm?  donor
eggs and  known donor (friend) sperm

2. Did you go private or NHS? Private single women not entitled to any NHS funding

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic? first I went to IVI Barcelona and then to CRM London, I preferred CRM as more convenient for appts, and the English speaking as opposed to going through a translator all the time.  Both clinics v clean and professional

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process? I did 4 cycles with own eggs first (2 clinics Bridge ans ARGC) I have womb lining problems as well as my age, I always produced at least 4 eggs.  
Then we moved to DE's and went abroad to Spain due to shorter waiting lists, attempted 3 cycles there unsuccessfully then moved to CRM in London. Currently on 2ww with my first cycle there. I did go to counselling after my miscarriage (1st OE cycle) and coming to terms with DE's.

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)? yes

6. How did you feel about the experience? I feel that I have been given a chance to try and become a mother that I couldn't if I was using my own old eggs

7. How did you partner feel?
supportive but he is my sperm donor and a dear friend.

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc? NA

Good Luck


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## Millie25 (Jun 8, 2010)

Thanks for replies!

Really wish you best of Luck with those embies Gem. My husband is in the same kind of position not talking about it that much, but I really want to do everything I can to make him a dad, just need to get my head round it all.

How did you find the clinic in Spain in JJ? That is one of the options I have looked at, did you save alot by going there? The prices I have found aren't that different, by the time I add on flights etc.

Thanks again xx


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm? Eggs

2. Did you go private or NHS? Private

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic? SEFC Tunbridge Wells, very happy

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process? Fresh cycle = BFN, 1st FET = BFP twins 2nd FET (eset) = BFP x 1

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)? Yes, have also told family, friends, wexisting children of me and my donor (who is a close friend)

6. How did you feel about the experience? I had never done IVF with my own eggs, so I didn't have the feeling of being "left out" some women describe, OTOH I was v. closely involved (at EC for eg) and it was quite gruelling .. very sad when fresh cycle didn't work. Over the moon when the FET did.. in fact we were so happy we decided to have another go... and I'm pg again

7. How did you partner feel? He seemed to take it in his stride, we have all approached it with a sense of humour...sometimes he forgets the twins are not mine genetically (I forget too sometimes)

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc?  No. Interesting to note how similar the twins are both to my donor, her children, and my and DP's DS1. At different times both twins have looked the spitting image of DS1, at others, our DE DD looks just like donor's DD (and even same voice and mannerisms) 

DE DS  has very distinctive curls (actually so did I as a baby and Ds1 had a few) but a few weeks back I asked the donor if anyone in her family had blonde curls and she showed me a picture of her as a baby and it's the spitting image of our DS!!!

So at different times I have felt all our 3 children look very similar and DP's genetics have won out, other times I realise the twins look so much like the donor and her children. Def something to think about as I have seen women using Spanish donors then struggling a bit that the child turns out quite dark skinned...


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Millie re Spain to be honest it probably cost a few thousand more going to Spain in clinic costs alone, plus flights/accom and scanning in the UK - and I exchanged my Euros when the exchange rate was much more favourable to us than it is now!  Their waiting lists are shorter as their donors are altruistic and so you will probably get more eggs than in the UK where most DE's are egg sharers.

Good Luck
L x


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## MissBabs (Nov 23, 2009)

Hi Millie

1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm?  We had fresh donor embryo.

2. Did you go private or NHS?  Private (not entitled to nhs).

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic?  Serum clinic in Athens - it's fantastic, i'd highly recommend it.

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process?  Sadly we got a BFN on this cycle but it's our first & we're defo going again later in the year.

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)?  If successful we don't plan on telling.

6. How did you feel about the experience?  Okay, it had it's highs and lows, but as it's our only chance you just put up with the rough to (hopefully) get the smooth.  Thankfully we didn't have to go through dr, stimming or EC so it made the whole process easier for us both, which i'm glad of.

7. How did you partner feel?  He was more comfortable with the idea of donor than i was at first, but when i got the emby's inside me i was completely convinced it's the right option for us.

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc?  N/A

Miss Babs x


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## Cailin (Apr 18, 2008)

Hi Millie,

Here you go...

1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm? DE

2. Did you go private or NHS? Don't live in UK so everything is private.

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic? Serum in Athens, Greece. Cannot say enough good things about it!

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process? Not yet. Have had 1 chem pg & about to do another cycle

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)? Not 100% sure yet

6. How did you feel about the experience? Took me a while to get my head around it and to be honest only felt 100% after we had started the process. I think its normal to always feel a little unsure but I believe those feelings fade as time goes on. Plus I tried OE IVF and couldn't even get to EC so that in itself was heartbreaking. 

7. How did you partner feel? He was fine with it, I think it was harder for me as it was DE not DI. He can be very logical sometimes 

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc?  N/A


Hope that helps,
Cailin xx


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## mierran (Apr 24, 2009)

1. Did you receive donor eggs or sperm? DE fresh IVF tandem cycle  - 1 OE 2 DE embies transfered                                                                                                                          

2. Did you go private or NHS? private - had 2 completed and 1 cancelled OE IVF cycles on IVF

3. Where did you go? How would you rate the clinic? Dogus in cyprus. I thought it was great- much better than uk clinics I'd attended. 

4. Was it a success? Where are you in the process? 20w Pregnant with twins

5. Are you telling the baby (if successful)? yes- tho as mixed transfer going to tell them their story and leave it up to them if they want to find out whose egg they came from. It doesnt matter to me, and I dont want others treating them differently if eg 1 OE 1 DE. 

6. How did you feel about the experience? I wanted a child. I believe everything has to happen for a reason and there had to be a reason why I had a m/c 1st cycle then didnt make it to ET in another 3. I am so happy to be pregnant, and so excited to meet my beautiful babies in a few months time. 

7. How did you partner feel? he did not want to go down the DE route ( putting it mildly   ) . In fact, I had to tell him I was going for a cycle and it was up to him if it was DE with his sperm or embryo adoption before he agreed to it. That was a lot of the reason we went for a tandem cycle rather than straight DE - as a compromise. He is now over the moon, and sees they are our babies - whoevers eggs they came from. 

8. If you have had a child, did you ever have any negative feelings, jealousy over the biological bond with your partner? problems bonding etc? n/a but so far not at all


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