# NEW!just wanted to say hi in hope there is someone feeling the same??



## carly120 (Aug 3, 2010)

hi there, I am brand new to this site so no idea if i am doing this right lol.  just thought i would say hi!!!! if i tell you all a little about me..... if there is anyone out there in a similar position could you please get in touch? 

my partner and I have been TTC for 2.5 years now....i have never had a pregnancy before....came off the pill to TTC and basically didn't ever have a period....after what feels like millions of blood tests, transvaginal scans, a hysterosalpingogram (flush the fallopian tubes with die under scan) and reaccurent sperm counts the docs have diagnosed annovulation probably caused by my low BMI.- My whole family has a very low BMI and all concieved no problem- I have however managed to gain a stone (a lot harder than people would think honest!) but it is still slightly low (18...needs to be 18.5). I continue to try to increase this. 

I feel like I have tried every complementary therapy going!!!  I have had accupuncture for about 8 months.....have now stopped.....for me it made no difference to my cycles but I did find it helped for relaxation.....it is hard to say whether this is a psychological or physical response tho! I have tried several of the yoga for fertility DVD's, I have tried brewing herbal tea from a herbalist (£150 per month and 2 hours a day of preperation time) i have tried aromatherapy specificaly for conception as some are safe (must seek professional advice) reflexology....the list goes on and im now starting to question where to draw the line!!!!!

I am now taking clomid....on my second month.  I am considering starting accupuncture again but its just the cost....by the time you pay for the clomid, buy ovulation tests, pregnancy tests (as I am always convinced this is the month lol), pregnacare, evening primrose, pre seed lub....the list goes on ....where do you draw the line?  but then I keep thinking i am now on clomid so are things gonna happen and if so keep going with itahhhh, if only i had a crystal ball! any advice ladies??


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

Hi Carly,

Even though I don't relate fully to your story I wanted to reply and give you some  .
One of the mods will be around soon and will give you some advice and links to other areas that you may find useful.
Personally I found just looking around all the boards helpful and I then fell onto some great threads with supportive people.
I understand what you mean about ££££ we have exhausted our savings and I too have tried everything I can, I found accu helped me relax and nothing else, whereas others rave about it.
All I can suggest at this time is give the clomid a try, it should help you ovulate, but they will blood test you to find out, some scan but my clinic didn't. If you havent asked ask when they will see if you ovulate on clomid, as mine made me wait 3 months on it, which I thought was too long.
Do what you feel comfortable with, but if the cost is stressing you out then perhaps compromise and cut some things out to ease the stress, the less stress you have the better!
Personally - although I am having ICSI - I am cutting out a lot of the 'extras' this time, and will be having tx, taking my supplements, eating healthy, no alcohol and seeing where that gets us. This time I am going to be little miss calm and collected and hope this does the trick.

take care and lots of   your way

Love
Sue


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## carly120 (Aug 3, 2010)

Thanks sue, your message is lovely! i am so glad I have found this site! I am a midwife so constantly surrounded by pregnant women and every1 i no seems to be pregnant or have just given birth, so happy for them but get that "pang" in the bottom of my stomach sometimes.  I really hope all goes well for you with ICSI!!!! How long have you been trying if you dont mind me asking? do you have any children already? 
I am trying to relax about it but I find i go through stages where im chilled and then when its all I can think about! i seem to buy thousands of books in hope that there is something tiny I have not herd of yet that might make the difference when in reality I know that it will only happen when it happens.  I have found some biographys useful rather than info books just to know other people have felt or do feel the same, this website is great for that.  xxx


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

Carly,

That's what were all here for is to support each other. Who knows better what its like than someone going through the same thing.
I don't envy you your job, it was something I actively looked to do, but with IF thought it would rip my heart out but its a noble profession, and just thing it wont be long before your the one yelling for drugs  

I don't have any children, dh has a 22 year old from a previous relationship, but we have none ourselves. I have only been pg once and lost that at 6 weeks as a chem pg. We have been ttc I would say for 9 years now, we started a year before we wed, hoping we might have a honeymoon baby, and that the pill would take its time to get out my system. Oh the dreaded pill  

I know what you mean, everyone I know is pg, 4 people all due within 4 weeks of each other so that should be fun - NOT!   I am happy for people, just want my time you know!

I get really obsessed really quickly - can you tell on my day off I am online here all day  , but I try and have some things that take my mind off it. I am trying to stay as fit as I can, so I am exercising, I have lost about 3 stone so am determined to keep it off, plus I am getting books to read in my 'down time' and generally trying to stay positive. So find yourself an outlet but when you feel that pull, jump on here, surf away and find out what you can. A buddy is helpful too.

Wishing you a lot of luck, post how you get on and I will keep an eye out for your progress.

Love and  

Sue
xx


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## emlou74 (Jul 28, 2010)

Hi Carly

I'm new to this site too and reading your message has encouraged me to pen my first message. 

What to say? My husband and I have been TTC (assume that is trying to concieve  not up with the lingo yet) for 7 years. Like you I have tried all the recommended holistic therapies, diets, relaxation and found them relaxing but no success. You are right it's all so expensive. I got the relaxation CD from ZITA WEST which I think is great and sends me into a relaxing sleep without the huge bill! I've started to listen to this every night now in the hope that it calms me down.

I have had one pregnancy but miscarriged at 8 weeks, that was 4 years ago, although we were heartbroken we were positve afterwards because we concieved but nothing has happened since. I have regular 29 day cycles, every month and diagnosis is unexplained infertility - very frustrating as I interpret this to mean they don't know what is wrong!!

We have just finished the Na Pro programme but have decided to call it a day after 18 months and are due to start IVF in September. I wish we had of considered this earlier as I'm now 36 and falling into the next 'age bracket' were odds reduce, but for us this was always a last resort. 

I am the opposite to you and trying to loose some weight hoping that it gives me some advantage but my consultant is concerned about my FSH levels. He didn't really explain what good levels were just that 'he would know' but it was concnering, so if anyone knows this I would appreciate your advice.  

I really hope the clomid works for you and you are looking forward to a little bundle of joy soon!! Good luck


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

Emlou - We fall in the same category as well, and it is so frustrating I know! I also had 1 pg that m/c at 6 weeks, and it concerns me a lot. What were your results? Do you know? You could try caling and asking and I can give you more of an idea. Your FSH gives an indication of your follicle reserve.

Saying that I was 3 stone over weight on my last IVF - maybe not that much but there abouts - and my FSH levels were a 'concern', but I have since lost 3 1/2 stone on the cambridge diet and my FSH and all other bloods are perfect. The consultant last month praised the weight loss and said it definitley had a direct impact on my levels.

TTC does mean trying to conceive  

Good Luck
Sue


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## carly120 (Aug 3, 2010)

hi emlou, 

I am so gonna try that CD....I have looked at loads of reviews of relaxing CD's but most of them are for meditating and while I am sure that is beneficial I just cant imagine doing it....mind you I never thought i would be brewing herbs either lol.  I have been looking for a good relaxing one like the ones you get when you go to beauty clinics for massages and stuff but the 2 I have from therapy room are not that good to be honest....I will try ZITA WEST as I really liked her book as well. 

Are you doing any therapys now or have you given up on them like I have lol? Sue sounds like she no's her stuff with the FSH levels....I am no good with all that I am afraid I have read loads but just can't retain any of the info.  Have you read the book Trying To Conceive by Michaela Ryan? I read that and it really helped me....It is just about 10 real life stories of people TTC and the ups and downs they go through....its nice as they all fall pregnant in the end (I am a sucker for a happy ending) but helped me to keep my spirits up when I was low.  I am reading Inconcievable at the moment by Julia Indichova....Just started it but its good! can you recommend any?I go through phases where I read loads and then can't bare to even pick up a book.


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## carly120 (Aug 3, 2010)

Hi sue, 

Being a midwife is really hard when IF, I try to seperate work from home and try not to relate pregnant women that I see at work with actually being pregnant if you kind of get what I mean??lol that doesn't make much sense actually.  I find it really really hard when friends and family fall pregnant tho as that is personal and really hits home.  My best friend had an unplanned pregnancy 8 months ago, my other friend had unplanned pregnancy and delivered a little girl just yesterday! and I have a friend who had a planned pregnancy but fell instantly and her little one is 2 months.  3 of my cousins are expecting next month ahhhh.  My partner has loads of friends who are pregs as well and they dont no we are struggling TC so they keep asking me to give then antenatal checks....its soooooo hard as I genuinely am happy for them but it just hurts me and I also feel guilty as my partner is so desperate for a baby 2.  

Oh....EMLOU I forgot to ask....what is the Na Pro Programme?


Thanks for keeping my spirits up taking to you lovely ladies ! xxx


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## lollipops (Oct 17, 2009)

Hi Carly,

Just reading these messages and just wanted to say I really admire you for the job you do. It must be heartbreaking sometimes-however I know if I should ever be lucky enough to be pregnant- I would want someone like you to be my midwife. 
I can relate to how you feel- I too work with children and pregnant mums- (although not in the same league as you. )And I know how hard it is. Some days I feel so low-especially when I see these pregnant 15/16 year old girls smoking,swearing and generally living up to their stereotype. If only they knew how badly we want want what they have-maybe they would wake up and pull their socks up! 
I too have to seperate my work life from my personal life but I do strongly believe that because I have to work with children and pregnant ladies daily- it keeps me , In a way....grounded and I keep telling myself that one day it will be my turn, just as one day it will be yours.

Wishing you lots of luck.


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## fairywings (Feb 19, 2009)

and welcome to Fertility Friends Carly 

Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*What can improve egg quality and quantity ~ * CLICK HERE

*Clomid ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 

Keep in touch

Fairywings xx


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## rjmett (Jun 26, 2010)

Hi Carly

Wow just reading your 1st post got me a little excited (in a good way, honest!) as i'm in a similar situation to you and have never come across anyone with similar issues.

I stopped the pill 3 yrs ago to TTC & have not had a period since. I also have a low BMI but have put some weight on as suggested by my doc, i am now BMI 21 & still no period   I'm not naturally slim like you & your family, i lost about 4 stone 5 years ago now. This is another possible explanation for lack of period, struggled with my weight for a little while, was not a happy time  

So when we realised that no period = no baby we went to the docs. We were refered to fertility clinic & i tried 4 months of clomid. It never worked. I had all of the awful side effects & none of the desired effects. Has it made you have a period? It didn't for me. Didn't know when to take it either as i didn't have a 'day 5 - 9' as i didn't have a cycle!

We also had a semen analysis done on my DH which came back not good. So even if they managed to make me ovulate there was no chance of a natural pregnancy. I also have a small uterus, possibly down to the lack of period and weight lost, to complicate things further. So we went on the IVF with ICSI waiting list for 7 months and am about the start my first cycle. I'm all excited & terrified at the same time. I work as a teacher & spend my days surrounded by kids. People ask me why i want a baby of my own, wel duh...   I certainly can sympathise with you about everyone else around you getting pregnant. I swear some of my friends just open their legs & their pregnant. I'm torn between being extra happy for them and totally gutted for myself   but i've developed a thicker skin & am trying to convince myself that sulking is not attractive & will not achieve anything!

I have found FF to be a bit of a lifeline. There's so much support here, i don't think i'd get by without it. I find the board for my local area useful as some ladies on there are being treated in the same clinic as me so can answer all of my questions. I hope you find it useful too.

Becca  

P.S. I seem to be following you around the site don't i Sue!!!


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