# 1 natural conception ended in mc, 1st IVF round failed (long ramble sorry)



## cherries (Jan 14, 2014)

Hi Ladies, 

I feel so devastated and just needed somewhere to let it out... just over 3 years ago, my DH and I conceived naturally but we were really confused over the dates. I felt a little light headed whilst shopping with a friend in December 2010 so bought a CB POAS. However, by the time I got back to her place, AF had arrived and there was no need for the test. I'd only been off the pill since the July. Anyway I got AF, was disappointed but carried on as normal. In January, I had to take a week off work as I felt exhausted and my glands were really swollen. I was even tested for glandular fever but nothing was found so the GP put it down to a virus that just wiped me out. Later on in the month, DH and I did some BD, but assumed it didn't work as AF arrived that month too. But then lo and behold, about a week later after feeling really emotional at the stupidest of things, tender boobs, metallic taste etc, I decided to POAS anyway with that CB conception indicator that I'd bought in Dec. It was positive with 1-2 weeks!! I couldn't believe my eyes and started wondering if AF was really a proper AF. It was a bit lighter than normal. Anyway DH couldn't believe it (neither could I as it didnt seem to fit with BD efforts) so 2 weeks later I did another POAS, same kind of test and got the same result, positive with 1-2 weeks.......... by this time I could feel that things were happening down below (stretching etc) and I also felt exhausted by around 7pm most nights... was concerned over the 1-2 weeks status though as had expected it to move.

We went to see the GP and he was just as confused over the dates but didn't dispute the fact that we had 2 bfp's so told us that we'd need to wait until we were 8 weeks before a booking in appointment with a midwife (we obviously discounted the Jan AF that I had)...... But then by the time it came to AF being due again (day before booking in appt), I actually got it! My stomach felt like it tightened (and some friends/family said that what I described was like a contraction) and I was bleeding; very worried   We didn't go to the appointment but called the out of hours who advised that it sounded like a mc was inevitable and they made us an appt with the early pregnancy unit for a scan. When we got there (on Sunday), I was asked to give a water sample and they tested it, resulting in bfn. Utter devastation  

My sister was pregnant at the time, and I found it very hard to be around her and also concerned that I wouldn't be able to cope when my nephew came along. But she ended up losing him too as he was stillborn    After that, our baby making efforts went on hold for a long time, I developed mental health issues (anxiety and depression, low self esteem etc) and we struggled to conceive again. My sis was brave enough to go through it all again (not least because she was carrying the burden of grief for her daughters who missed their chance to meet their baby brother) and last year she gave birth to a healthy baby boy  

Anyway 12 months after starting to take care of myself and my own mental health, my DH and I decided to try IVF. We'd been for all the investigative tests, results were within normal range except for progesterone which looked a little on the low side. But we were told unexplained infertility and that our best chances now would be IVF. But sadly this hasn't worked for us either. We had 7 out of 8 eggs that were not viable for pregnancy (1 not mature enough, 1 died, 4 over fertilised, 1 fertilised but didn't develop, 1 fertilised and developed to 4-cell embryo before being transferred back in on day 2), which aren't great odds really. Now we feel utterly disappointed/devastated all over again and need to pick ourselves back up again before deciding what to do next.

Sorry for the long post, but I needed to let it out and I wonder if there are others out there who have been in the same situation and gone on to have further tests, and actually found a reason for infertility rather than this unexplained crap?!


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## Cloudy (Jan 26, 2012)

Hugs honey, sadly these journeys we seem to find ourselves on are flipping hard and seem to make no sense. 

Sorry about your m/c experiences, it is very hard to go through. There is a m/c board that you may find useful. I'm sorry I'm still in training and haven't got a clue how to put the link in my post for you, but if you go on the main page it's on there. There are also some stickys (highlighted at the top of the threads) with some useful information.

You can have different types of tests done. You could look at immunes, but there is a cost to these: up to a few hundred for level 1s, but sometimes you can get these done via your GP, and over £1000 for level 2s. Some people massively support these, others say they are worthless - even within the medical community there isn't much consensus so do your research.

There is also a board for Unexplained Infertility so you could pop on there and should find some useful posts.

Sorry I haven't been able to help very practically, but hope you get my virtual hugs      

In my experience (failed fresh and failed FET) I have been told they wouldn't consider further tests until someone has had 3 failed cycles. It's hard to hear, but I know a lot of ladies do have further tests earlier than that, but just remember that each cycle is different and definitely talk through everything with your Drs xxx


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