# Other People's Attitudes - The Brighter Side



## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Sometimes we get more than our fair share of people being prying, insensitive and downright rude about our children.  Sometimes we're let down by family and friends clearly not thinking of our babies as truly and legitimately part of our family.

But sometimes people come up trumps and are truly wonderful beyond our expectations.  And just so folks considering adoption aren't put off by thinking everyone's mean, and just to give us a chance to celebrate it, here is a place to share when people have been wonderful!

Here are some of mine:-

1)  The mind-blowing generosity of the teams I worked with in my day job, who whole-heartedly threw themselves into celebrating my leaving to become a Mum.  The core of Bug's bedtime library and half his toys are still from these wonderful gifts!
2)  The foster carer who bought us a 'first tooth' and 'first curl' ornament because she knew how many firsts we'd missed.
3)  The complete stranger (who is now a best friend) and mum at a mum's and toddlers group who bought me a gift simply because she thought I was amazing for adopting, and doing a great job as a new mum.
4)  The parish councillor and distant neighbour who heard on the grapevine (we live in a small village!) we'd adopted, and brought us a gift of clothes.
5)  The old couple in the village who saw Bug on the brink of a meltdown on a walk back from the play area and started talking to him about the Mr Men on his t-shirt, diverting him completely so that we had a lovely walk home.
6)  The Health Visitor who made extra home visits, offered to put me in touch with other adopters, and every time she called said, "it's obvious he's doing fine, I just want to make sure you're ok.  You're doing an amazing job!"
7)  The doctors who bent over backwards to NOT use Bug's birth name.
  The doc who'd held my hand through a protracted chem preg, and then gleefully did our adoption medicals, waiving half the fee.
9)  Both sides of the family, who've been incredibly generous, and always happy to tell the world how marvellous THEIR grandson is.
10)  The new team I joined when I returned to work, buying us flowers for celebration day.
11)  The village mum who swerved across the road the first time she saw me with a buggy, gushed over my becoming a mum, cheered that we'd adopted, and promptly invited me to a play date.
12)  The childminder who took everything in her stride and amended her practise to make sure Bug felt safe.
13)  The school who been so caring, helpful and friendly, and who's Head is an expert in Attachment Disorder.
14)  The sister in law, who in spite of my brother being unable to attend, took herself and her son out of school to go to travel 200 miles to our Celebration Day.
15)  The village folk who've been happy for us, happy to chat to Bug, welcoming and never pryed or been insensitive.
16)  The ex-boss who insisted I treat prep and home study as antenatal appointments.  (I took some leave for them, anyway.   )
17)  The 'aunty' who takes her aunting duties so seriously, she approaches them by basically behaving like a three-year-old with him, which he (and we!) think is fantastic!
1  The foster carer at church, who invited me to speak to the entire congregation (100+?) about what adoption has meant to us.
19)  The entire congregation, who never tut, frown or shake their heads when Bug misbehaves and is a complete mischief monkey at church.  Instead they grin, distract, laugh and dispense hugs and support.
20)  The best friend who had a hard journey to her little boy, who drove hundreds of miles with her car filled to the brim to pass on to us our toddler bed, car seat, changing bag, and a whole load of other goodies.  

What's on your list?


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Wow AoC you really covered a lot of great ones (do we share the same HV lol)

Ours has been so many health profs & education who we've spoke to who highly rate little mans attachment/bond with us and how attuned we are to his needs and how we know him so well we can tell them what works & how accommodating they are to doing said ideas.

Our lovely neighbour and friends who are in teaching special needs and have signposted us to early learns & how it maps & warning things to be aware of in local area for nursery settings. And lovely neighbour who walked our dog & entertained him with ball in early months when we had sleep deprivation and dog & ill man together was becoming a nightmare being at home together.
X


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## Laws1612 (Dec 12, 2011)

Aoc......well done for such a lovely thread.....we aren't placed yet but I can echo the positivity......
1 the lovely social worker who can't do enough to get us through  this process as quickly and easier and stressful as possible 
2 our best friends who have helped us with flat pack furinate and painting baby bedroom
3 girlfriends wanting to throw me a baby shower
4 work mates asking how I'm getting on in the process and not just for the sake of ward gossip....because they care
5 family And friends buying things ready for little one coming along
6 the big boss giving me free rein for time off and work hours....

Theses are just a few but What a great positive time in my life and this is before the baby is here.....not one day have I had negatives or self doubting this is gonna happen and these people above are gonna help make it extra special.


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

1. The children in our village who excitedly say are these x y and z cousins they talk about them all the time.  The little girl  from this group who told me she has a half sister she's never met and she wishes she could pkay with her like my two do. 

2. The Friends who have invited our girls to their children's birthday parties even though they haven't met but have also said they understand if we don't come. 

3. My parents eho have done anything and everything they possibly could. 

4. The check out lady in the supermarket who told me I must feel blessed to have two such beautiful children.  She doesn't know they're adopted but it's my first complement from a stranger.  

5. My nephews who have taken the girls on with more love than I could have ever imagined. 

6. My friend who didn't batvan eyelid when my eldest had a screaming kicking tantrum today. 

7. My siblings and siblings in law who have been blown away by how much they adored our girls before they even met them. 

8. My next door neighbours daughter who's offered to come to any mum and toddler groups in the area to support me even though we'd never spoken before the girls were placed xxx


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

LOVE this thread. Thanks for starting it AoC. 

We've just been approved and already have had cards, flowers, and I've seen two male colleagues (close colleagues) actually crying when I told them we have been approved. 

People have said they think it's amazing. And nearly all have mentioned the C4 programmes and how it's made them think about adoption so positively. 
It makes me feel so proud and privileged.


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

BEST thread! My nomination goes to my lovely, lovely boss who is quie insistent she wants to buy the buggy and my friends all of whom have been excited for me as our friends who have given birth- I have a baby shower organised, free books, free clothes and offers of play dates already.


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Loving this.    Thanks for posting, everyone.  *sniff*


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

The health visitor who simply said 'I think you're marvelous'.

The doctors and nurses in the Nicu unit where baby blue is who are enthralled by our story and always make a big fuss when little pink visits her baby brother

The neighbours who cooked us dinner and brought round hot cakes when little pink came home

The friend I met online on another forum who immediately sent a cake and card through the post when birth mother contested just because she understood

The doctor who asked whether little pink was fostered because something had come up on the system, and when I explained replied with 'well then she's all yours, it makes no difference' and removed the looked after status alert from the screen

The parents who drove 400 miles to be here on the day we found out whether birth mum had been granted leave to appeal

The work colleague who told me she was more excited for me than any other pregnancy announcement ever!

The best friend who broke down when she found out we were going to be parents to our little pink

The complete strangers who just gasp at my daughters beautiful self!

The family who all treat her as a very precious grandchild, niece, cousin and love her unconditionally

Everyone for the cards and presents for the celebration day that never was!

The friends I've made on here who have supported us no matter what

The end


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