# Foster to adopt a sibling



## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Hi everyone, wondered if anyone here has been placed with a child and then been approached about foster to adopt a sibling?
I've not been on here for months since we were placed with our beautiful son in Aug 14 who is now 22 months old.  I've been absent due to time restraints but also because the placement has gone so smoothly I've not needed any of the wonderful support and advice you ladies have.  

All of the adoption paperwork has been filed with the court and we had our second review the other day.  Everyone is so pleased with how the placement has gone and we feel so blessed to have our son with us.  At the review we were informed that birth mum is pregnant again and asked to think about if we could consider this.  They mentioned that they would most likely use the foster to adopt route and would speak to us first because our son is so settled.

We are still in a bit of shock at the news and we know we are a long way from any decisions being made but I wondered if anyone else has gone through this?  I'm trying to research 'foster to adopt' for information but would be interested to hear of anyone's experience of going through this scenario and what it entailed.

Thanks   x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

I'm pretty sure it was littlepoppy that did f2a with a sibling but was not straight from birth if I remember correctly.
We've done f2a but as a singleton and again not from birth so not sure,y experiences would be valid for you.


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

We tried to f2a sibling but baby born too close to placement of first child (2m after)

We waited for the placement order and then had panel straight after so baby moved in at 6m which was 7m after eldest moved in. 

We didn't lodge for eldest as we knew if we did apparently we'd need to be reapproved which is why f2a would be good for you as you can get reapproved whilst fostering if I'm right? 

I was also still on original adoption leave and was super lucky to get it again from scratch with new baby! Feel free to PM me xx


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Thanks for your replies Becs and littlepoppy, I will send you a PM.  

We have spent the day researching f2a and trying to recall everything the reviewing officer and what our SW said after the meeting.  

I’m sure they inferred that if we were to f2a a sibling our initial approval would just require an update covering the new circumstances and letters of support from our SW and our son’s SW detailing how well and settled our son is. They made it sound like it wouldn't be a big deal, though our SW admitted our agency had little experience of f2a.

I’m really struggling to switch off and can't sleep tonight thinking about all the ‘what if’s?’  

x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Think you need to way up all the pro's and cons. As it would be fostering till they got a placement order, what would their plans be for contact with BP as this would be very likely, how strong is their case for placement order as that's such a big thing at the moment and not that many are being given by the courts. 
I would think about the impact it will have on you all if after who knows how long courts side with BF.
I don't have any experience at all with F2A, they are just things I would be thinking about.


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## dreamingofabettertime (Jun 12, 2012)

Yes we were placed with our 6.5 month old (not F2A route) and then birth mum fell pregnant again, we were offered F2A as no circumstances changed so were approved as foster carers and our baby was born who we had home at 3 days old! We then went through various stages to gain adoption and haven't looked back since. It was very stressful but very worth it as our little baby adores us and we him!

Ask me anything, as I am sure you have lots of questions!

Guidance to read: http://www.baaf.org.uk/webfm_send/3217

Brief summary of stages to go through:

1. Foster to Adopt Panel
2. Emergency Order (if there is immediate to risk to child...this is the hardest bit to get, often child goes to mother and baby placement)
3. Interim Order
4. Placement Order
5. Matching panel 
6. Adoption Order

XX

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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## mafergal (Jul 31, 2013)

Thanks so much for your reply DOBT! I also read your reply on the 'F2A horror stories' and thought you made some good points, clarified my understanding as did your link.

Since I wrote the original post there haven't been any updates or correspondence.  I'm sort of thinking there won't be any for at least a month or so.  There are obviously details I don't want to write on the main board but I will PM you.  So far we have just a few questions because we have very little information.

A question I will post here as it may help others, is regards the F2A panel.  Did you go straight to a panel/update your PAR or did you have to almost get re-approved? I've read some suggestions (similar to what our SW said) that the original PAR just gets an update because we are approved adopters already.  I've read other suggestions that you have to go through the whole process again and get re-approved.

Congratulations on your little family, it's great reading positive stories.  I imagine you are super busy, I know I am with my little man.  I feel our story is a very positive one but we are so busy enjoying our time that I don't get chance to share on here so much


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Our f2a was different in that he was our first so we were approved under our original par. I think it's something that would vary between agencies, I would also imagine that it would be dependent on how long between original par and f2a placement.
Going back to another point made earlier about contact with bp's, when our lo came he was having 3 visits a week but his previous fc and ourselves used agency transport. So we never met bp's as agency came and collected him, took him to session and then brought him home. So just because there may be and almost certainly will be contact for baby doesn't mean you have to have contact if you gad any concerns. If there had been no risk with ours I think I would have liked the opportunity to get to know bm though through the sessions and to try and give her a little peace of mind.


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## dreamingofabettertime (Jun 12, 2012)

Glad to help and excited for you!

Regarding the process you will be asked to update your PAR (be ahead of the game and start thinking about it now as if Birth Mum goes into labour early (as ours did they need to move swiftly with an emergency plan). Updating the PAR meant for us adding information about our son we had adopted, toddler groups we had attended, how settled we were and how adding a sibling would benefit the family unit etc. That was enough for the panel as we had done everything else fairly recently. The official guidance states that their should be no reason to go into great depth here (if you have recently adopted) as a 'light touch' approach should be used to make the process have no delay. Question SW if yours chooses a different approach.

Our referees were interviewed again (over the phone this time) and they asked questions like .....how would the family cope with stress/risk, how would having another have an impact on everything already established, what happens if things goes wrong & how would the family cope, how would they support us.

Our parents and our older children were interviewed (parents together & children separately) with the same type of questions as above, they were asked if they had any questions about the process; we had sent them the guidance notes (attached below) for carers ahead of time so they were well researched in what it meant for us:
http://www.coram.org.uk/sites/default/files/resource_files/47%20Fostering%20for%20Adoption%20leaflet%20%28carers%29_2013.pdf

The rest was a waiting game as we had to wait for all the paperwork to be done SW end so there was much more hanging around and limited communication as we were treated as 'foster carer's' in that we had to drop everything to respond to urgent requests. There is a lot of uncertainty with this process (unlike the straight forward adoption route) as you must become foster carers first and then adopted parents. Ultimately worth it but you will require patience as you are relying on SW's for information which often they don't have as it is still a relatively new process and not all areas have done them so they are naturally cautious. Good practice is firstly to ask them if they have done it before in the county and if not where they are getting their guidance from.

Further guidance found here: http://www.coram.org.uk/sites/default/files/resource_files/46%20Fostering%20for%20Adoption%20Guidance_2013.pdf

Hope that helps on that one, look forward in receiving any other questions as happy to help xx

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that FertilityFriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


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