# A "no" or deferred at panel



## pix70 (Jan 23, 2015)

Hi,

I'm new to this forum but have been reading a lot and learnt a lot through reading posts - very grateful to all of you for your willingness to share.

I was wondering if anyone has had a "no" at approval panel or been deferred.  Our panel is on Thursday (29th) and I've got myself into a right state  .  I've convinced myself that we're going to be turned down/deferred despite everyone else saying different.  We want to adopt siblings and our SW has said that she has no worries with our ability etc.  However, her manager has added a footnote on our PAR along the lines of she has no doubt we'd make suitable adopters for 1 child.  However, we would be 1st time parents, must realise that adopting 2 "looked after" children is different to 2 birth children and that careful matching would have to be considered.

Now, all I can do is pessimistically focus on that sentence and the one stating that all our child care experience is through friends and family (feel like they are pointing out that we didn't volunteer anywhere and that might go against us).

Pix


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

If your SW has done her job properly, there should be absolutely no reason to get a no or deferral. When you are approved it's just a recommendation on age, number of children. We wanted to be approved for up to 3 children 1st time, panel recommended 1 or 2 children, as we wanted aged 5+ we were inundated with profiles for 3 siblings, as it was we ended up with just 1 anyway, and then another 4 yrs later.


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

We were deferred, as were two other couples we know. And another got an outright No and is going through the IRM.
So it does happen, nothing is certain so best to be prepared for anything.
Just make sure you have solid plans and answers for the weeknesses in your PAR.

I'm Sure you will be fine x x x x


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## snapdragon (Jun 27, 2011)

My la have only ever had one no. The decision maker changed it to a deferral and I know they were later matched with a baby. Try not to worry. I know that's easier said than done.


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## alig1972 (May 12, 2011)

Hi 

Our LA wouldn't support our application for a few reasons and so we had a choice of going to panel and appealing or withdrawing our application and taking 6 months out and trying again either with the same LA or any other agency. Even if we went to panel and appealed, the final decision is with the LA and so we couldn't take the risk of a final No as then we couldn't try again. Our PAR was a complete mess and we were not given enough time to put things right, so we took the option of taking a break. 
Here we are 6 months later trying again having done all the things we were advised to do! 

I would say if they are taking you to panel then the majority of cases it is always a yes and it costs a lot to get you there and they wouldn't unless they were certain you would be approved. 

As for adopting siblings that is just a note which they will consider and you might only be approved for one or as it states they might look at this at matching stage....

Try not to worry and good luck! 

Ali x


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## Darcy2012 (Jul 16, 2014)

Hiya
I am also new to this forum and due to go to panel end of Feb!
I have the same worries about being approved but just trying to
keep thinking if my social worker has done her job well we will
be approved as any issues should have come up beforehand!

All along our authority have said they wouldn't take us to panel
If they didnt think it would be a yes so just keep telling myself that
although I know it does occasionally happen. Regarding child care experience 
we only have experience with friends and family children and 
volunteering has never been mentioned.

Good luck hope it all goes well for you x


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## HannahLou (May 22, 2011)

Its a perfectly normal thought but a the other ladiea have said it is highly unlikely and your SW wounldnt take you to panel if she thought you would get a no. You will be fine, good luck x


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## pix70 (Jan 23, 2015)

Thanks for all your kind replies. They have made me feel a lot better.  I keep telling myself to be more positive and that this time next week the approval panel will be all over....phew! 

My husband keeps saying "If it didn't mean that much to us, we wouldn't be getting anxious about it, so it's a good thing"


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## MummyElf (Apr 11, 2013)

We wanted siblings but our SW said she wanted us to go for one, which we did. When we found our daughter, BM was also pregnant with our son so we went back to panel to be approved for a second child; our daughter came home in the July and our son in the November meaning it all happened quite fast. I guess my point is you can have siblings and loads of us do on here, but not necessarily both at once, so going for one child initially doesn't mean you won't end up with two or three. Our SW knew we wanted siblings and the only other profile we viewed was again of a toddler with BM pregnant again. If it really concerns you speak to your SW before Thursday about options of going for one but her looking for a match where BM is likely to be pregnant again soon or is already pregnant once you've been approved. There are plenty out there who are almost 'sure things' for having numerous babies!


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## pix70 (Jan 23, 2015)

Wow MummyElf....we never even thought of that. Gives us something to think about, thanks


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

We didn't volunteer anywhere either and our 'experience' of looking after friends children was exaggerated at best (at worst some outright falsehoods   ) is and we were approved. Albeit we were told we'd only be approved for one child not siblings, but with the benefit of hindsight this has worked out best for us. For me personally two at once would have been just that bit more difficult than I could  have coped with tbh.

I'm a bit sad that it's unlikely we will adopt again and our boy wont have siblings , but there are worse things than being an only child  

Plus that sentence doesn't read as an outright no to me, just they'll have to consider matches carefully


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

We too were approved for a singly but within 4 months of him being placed with us we were asked to adopt his little sister who was born 2 weeks after his 1st birthday.  sadly circumstances from our side prevented it but it does happen and I think ss will have a good idea if it is likely or possible! 


Our sw put on our par that she felt we would struggle with a child with attachment difficulties and that she would need to consider matches carefully, preferably a lo as young as possible.  (I know theres no guarantee) At a later meeting i asked why she had put it and she said that we and another couple were being considered for our wee man who was only 5 months. she felt we were the better couple but weren't approved at that point,they were, she added that because she felt we were right for him and the other couple were more suited to an older lo who was about to get a placement order. 
In the world of ss you never know why things are said and I certainly don't think that's a no. 

Good luck x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

We went for approval for siblings and were approved for only one because they felt our support network wasn't strong enough for siblings.

They were 100% correct!  And if we had been approved for siblings, we probably wouldn't have Bug, who.... well, who is perfect for us, us for him, and who we love more than I ever thought possible.

Stay strong!  All will be well.


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## pix70 (Jan 23, 2015)

Well, after all my worrying we got a unanimous yes at panel yesterday  

We had about 9 or 10 questions. Our SW said that was more than normal and we were a bit daunted and dazed by the end as the questions just kept coming but we're not bothered about that now...... it doesn't matter how many questions we had because we got the result we we hoping for.

It's just sinking in today. We've both got a day off today so we are chilling out and having a chance to finally relax for a while


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