# Hello I'm new



## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Hi just wanted to introduce myself.  I'm 31, but very soon 32    DH & I have been ttc for nearly 1.5 years, I am currently on my 17th cycle.  No luck as of yet, not even a chemical pregnancy.  We've had a few tests me: blood tests which show I ovulated, DH had a semen analysis all very good there, but slightly low morphology (doctor didn't seemed concerned as his count & volume was very high).  I also went to a private clinic and had a pelvic ultrasound and they couldn't see any problems there either.  So am I now waiting for my appointment with an NHS gynaecologist.  Hopefully they'll be able to check my tubes and lets hope there's no problems there.

The last few months this has got me very down, but have started to be a little more positive about this.  Yes it's still hard to be around my pregnant friends or those with babies but I am learning to deal with it.

We have made a lot of changes; I now hardly drink, I have switched to organic foods where possible, I am drink grapefruit juice and taking evening primrose oil until ovulation to improve EWCM. 

I've done the charting, using OPKs, fertility monitors etc.  I'm done with those! I think they just add to the stress and my cycle is almost like clock work, so I pretty much know when things happen.

What I am worried about is our incompatibility to conceive?  Perhaps my egg and DH's sperm are just incompatibile?  Who knows?


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Griffo and welcome to Fertility Friends 

Well all the tests sound good so far, and if you learn that your tubes are ok too, then i guess you'll fall into the 'Unexplained' catagory. Which for a lot of women, they find this frustrating as there is nothing wrong that cant be put right  But there are many successes still with IVF and other treatments 
Please have a good look around the boards, feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. Fertility Friends is such a huge support. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too (add them to your buddy list in your profile!), lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE

*FERTILITY GUIDES ~ *CLICK HERE

*Investigations & Immunology ~ *CLICK HERE

*Starting out & Diagnosis ~ *CLICK HERE

*Unexplained ~*CLICK HERE

When you get referred to a fertility consultant, then here are some Q's you could ask them 
*Questions for your first cycle consultation ~ (use the ones that apply) *CLICK HERE

I'm sure that in the mean time you are still having a good go at TTC naturally, so here's a thread you could join in with ... 
Click here

You may not have to go down this route but may b worth a quick read 
*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*   CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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## Velma (Feb 3, 2010)

Hi Griffo78,

I know its hard, but people on here can definately help and clue you up on information.

i think it is good that you are making some changes for yourself, also i would think it good to find something that helps you relax. I am the same as you in that i haven't even had so much as a sniff of the BFP and have been TTC for nearly 2 years. My body has played alot of tricks on me with so much pregnancy symptoms for so long that you don't know what way is up. I have had investigations some of which lead to diagnosis others which have been put on hold because i was advised to prioritise getting preganant. But i still haven't been given answers in the form of medication or solutions and i know that can be hard. Sometimes you have to concentrate on improving how you feel and life in general. I have started accupuncture at the start of Jan and although not for everyone, for me this has been a god send. I feel i am starting to get my life back, it is helping me relax reducing my symptoms and i have even noticed changes in my cycle etc. I am hoping that it will help get me a BFP am starting ICSI in April.

Dealing with all these things can really lead you into depressive states and i have been there. Please feel free to share, sometimes you feel unreasonable and are very hard on yourself when you see others manage pregancy so easily. There will always be pregnancies around you when you are going through this. Hopefully your time will come soon! I read a post earlier about someone who got a BFP naturally after she had 5 failed ICSI's so there is hope!

I think if you can but energy into improving how you feel it will help in the long run.

Wishing you every luck with the rest of your tests.

Velma x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Thank you for the warm welcome  

Velma like you say it is important on improving how you feel.  I am out of work at the moment (due to redundancy) it doesn't help matters as I have more time to think & drive myself nuts!  I am applying for lots of jobs, but no luck as of yet, a bit like this whole ttc thing!  I'm looking to do some voluntary work, as it will be something positive, give me some experience and take my mind off things.  I also see a counsellor, who has really helped, my last session is next week.

You mention acupucture.  I have been reading about it and reflexology.  I am seriously considering reflexology, but only after I have had a test to check my tubes.  And if all is well, then I will probably be going ahead with it, even if it doesn't help with ttc, it will certainly help me to relax.

My cycle is 27-30 days.  Sometimes when it gets past 29 days I feel a little hopeful, but then AF arrives.  So I know now never to even consider testing unless it's way part 32 days, which has never happened.

Good luck with ICSI, not long to wait now, although I am sure April seems very far away to you.


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Griffo ...Have a look at this link too hun  *Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE


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## Velma (Feb 3, 2010)

Hi Griffo78,

You poor thing - i was made redundant in the past and was out of my line of work for a year, it was hard but i didn't have this to contend with at the time. So my heart does go out to you, it is hard to deal with it all but it is extremely positive that you are going to couselling. It definately helps to share some of your fears and worries and to rationalise things. It's only natural that you are feeling low you are dealing with alot.

Sounds like it would do you the world of good to do some voluntary work and will hopefully get you out about, socialising and a feel good factor. Something to take your mind of all these things is definately worth doing!

It's worth trying to reflexology, if you dont like it move on but if you find something that helps go for it thats my view!

It is devastating when you think you are coming up near the time of AF but you think you could be pregnant - but i think everyones mind plays tricks and it probably adds to a delay just to tease us! Just remember you are not alone or abnormal and this is not your fault. It's just a path some have to travel and hopefully the destination will work out in the end!
Thanks, i know i will be nervous for now i am trying to look on positive side thinking that the accupuncture will have me in a better condition by then. 

Velma x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Thank you Ceri I will look at that.

I didn't have a very good afternoon yesterday.  I went into town (something I hate doing now) to buying a christening gift (I am the Godmother this Sunday  ).  I was going to buy this beatrix potter first dinner set, went to the till and ask if they do gift wrap and they pointed me to a till that does.  I started to walk over there and the dinner set box opened and everything smashed on the floor!  I just looked at the mess in shock and then started picking the pieces up.  A lovely assistant came up and helped.  And all I kept muttering was "I'm sorry, I'll pay for it" over & over.  Then I just started crying and I couldn't look up and I knew there were other customers about as I could hear laughter.  Luckily the assistant was so lovely and said i"t's ok I'll clear it up and don't worry we'll put it through as an accident, why don't you go and get another one?"  Well I was still mortified and quite upset, all I could do was walk out the shop.

But on a good note, I arranged to volunteer at a lunch club for OAPs, I'll start next Wednesday.  I also have a meeting today with a recruitment agency, so we'll see what happens.


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Griffo, sorry your afternoon didnt go to plan hun   
Ah good on you for volunteering at the lunch club, i'm sure you'll brighten up their day   and best of luck with your meeting too. Hope it goes really well, call back and let us know how it goes will you?


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## Velma (Feb 3, 2010)

Hi Griffo78,

Aw, sounds like something was just waiting to go! Just think it doesn't matter - it was lovely that the girl was nice to you. You obviously just needed a release maybe you have been trying to be stronger than you are and we all need to break down every now and then. Ok so it wasn't an ideal situation - but who cares - most of these people you will probably never see again! We can't put a smile on everyday and pretend all is well, maybe you will find it has taken some of the pressure off. I'm sure it is hard thinking you are god mother on sat when you are desperately trying for your own!

All of this shows you are human, you need to give in to your own needs a bit more, cry if you need to cry. Bottling it up will only be harder in the end!

I am deligted about the volunteering - think it will be good for you! And i will be keeping my fingers crossed with the recruitment agency. If you ever want a chat feel free to PM me!! My heart goes out to you - you have hit a hard time and can't seem to move past it, i think these things happen us all and we do recover from them so allow yourself time to be down but it's good that you are still looking for things to do and help yourself!

Take care,

Velma x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Thanks Ceri & Velma.  I did think my depression was going, but looking back at yesterday I know I'm not fully recovered & still need some time.

Very nervous about this christening on Sunday as they'll be lots of babies there & I always get worried if people will ask "when you having kids"/ "isn't about time you got a move on" etc.  I'm not sure I'll know what to say this time.  Hopefully I'll be able to distract myself with my camera so I don't have to speak to too many people.

The mother of the child (one of my best friends)  knows what I am going through and did say I didnt have to go if I didn't feel up to it.  But I think I will regret it in the future if I didn't attend my God Daughters christening.


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## Velma (Feb 3, 2010)

Griffo78 ,

Well its good that you can see that. There are many on here that can identify with you so you are not alone!

As for the Christening it would be good for you to go - but if you want to leave early do!!

I do think it is a bit rude people asking when you are gonna have one etc! It's like asking 'how is your sex life' and maybe you should start asking that in response and if they look at you strange at you - well sure they were asking about yours  

I hope it all goes well. Let me know!

Velma x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

They probably won't ask, but I always feel on edge now at gatherings, especially when people when we got married, how long have you been married etc.  I just wait for the next question.  

Feeling quite nervous about this whole weekend.  My parents are coming today, just for the night.  They know I have been feeling down but don't know why.  I think they think it's because I am out of work.  We didn't tell my parents we were ttc, because I didn't want the "any news?" every so often from my mum.  We're not very close anyway.  My mother has bipolar and with that she has lost a lot of tact and social skills (has a habit of saying the wrong thing).  She does go on a lot about how when she was my age she had 2 children, she wants grandchildren, and that she has to treat my dog as a "granddog" because she has no grandchildren.  When I was visiting them last summer she did ask me outright do you want children?  All I could say was eventually yes, because I didn't want to tell her we were ttc.  She probably thinks we're just taking our time.  I don't really know if I can tell her this weekend about all of this.  Again with the bipolar she has to take a lot of medication to stabilise her moods, which means she doesn't feel much emotion or doesn't really react to things like other people would.

I happened to also bump into a friend at the hairdresser, complete coincidence that we had our appointments at the same time.  She had a baby a couple of months ago (which I have seen once) which she bought into the hairdresser.  We couldn't talk that much coz of all the noise from hairdryers etc.  Then afterwards she text me saying "how have you been, haven't seen you in ages, we must catch up etc."  I was just honest with her and said not brilliant actually, I have had depression and haven't seen that many people for a while.  I didn't tell her the reason though.  But what made it worse is that she said I'm here for you if you need to chat.  Which is lovely, but I am finding it hard to speak to my friends with babies.  As I don't want them to feel awkward around me nor do I want to spoil their joyous time with my problems.


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## Lollypop72 (Oct 16, 2009)

Hi Griffo,

I'm just responding to your first post. My DH and I had been TTC for 3 years after an ectopic pg. It put a lot of pressure on our sexlife and we ended up just having sex when I was supposed to be ovulating because it became a bit of a chore. 

My consultant said the other day "chuck away your charts and ovulation predictors and have sex twice a week and then you will have live sperm inside you all the time that way you are most likely to get pg naturally". I know it sounds difficult but he is right...thinking too much about it will almost guarantee that it doesn't happen. 

Also you are entitled to 2 free cycles of IVF/fertiliy treatment on the NHS you just need your GP to refer you to you local Fertility Hospital and they will take over all the necessary investigations as part of your treatment. You go to your GP and say you have been trying to conceive unsuccessfully for over a year...please refer me for fertility treatment.

Good luck

Px


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## Velma (Feb 3, 2010)

Hi Griffo78,

Considering everything you have said maybe it is best not to go in to much detail with your mum, but there is no harm in telling her you haven't been feeling too well and are finding things hard. Maybe you will find it easier to say something like this rather than nothing. Your friend sounds nice and to be honest we all need someone, i know you dont want to affect her experience of parenthood etc but you may find it good to talk it out with someone and she might then have more understanding when you are not in touch so much. If the roles were reversed would you feel that you were there to support her if you had a child?

I think you are trying to avoid affecting others so much that you seem to be hurting yourself in the process. I also try not to take others down with me and it has gotten me so low in the past but none of us are an Island and sooner or later it is best to have some outlets! Maybe not this weekend but think about letting someone share your pain as i think it helps. This friend of yours may be in struggling in other ways - i'm sure its daunting for her to be a new mum and whilst that is hard as that is what you are striving for you may find for both of you being able to meet and chat may be a godsend.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow, my advice would be get something new or put on something that makes you feel good - try and give your confidence a wee boost before hand and try and look at the positives of it - you were asked to be a godmother - an honour as they obvliously think highly of you!  Also remember although people may be there with kids that is not to say that they are not struggling to have another or that they did not struggle the 1st time. Noone has a fantastic life everyone has a burden to carry at some stage in life.

I will be hoping it is a bettre day than you expect.

Good luck,

Velma x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Well the weekend was a disaster!  My parents arrived on Saturday lunch time and just waltzed in and didn't ask how I was.  My dad then left to go to the rugby match (I am based in Cardiff).  My mother didn't do anything apart from go on about the dog & other peoples lived.  DH was out at the rugby himself on a corporate event.

My dad returned from the rugby and I had cooked for them.  Again no mention of how I am doing or if there is anything they can do.  It made me very angry how I cann't rely on my family for any support.  So after the meal I just went upstairs to my room (yes I know childish) but I did have things to prepare for the christening.  In the morning I got up early & went for a run.  DH had breakfast with them and was also shocked at their lack of concern.  Once they left I just let off about how angry I was with them and how I might as well have no family because they can't even show they care.

The first bit of the christening was nice and joyfull and I did enjoy seeing my God daughter, she is so cute & smiley.  The 2nd bit wasn't too good.  It was a small party at my friend's parents.  I made small talk with those I knew.  After a while all the mums tended to gather with their babies & obviously talk baby stuff (not my friend she was busy being a good host).  I might as well have been invisible, so I tried my best to move around so I wouldn't be sat next to these mothers & everyone cooing over these babies.  But it just seemed to follow me.  I could feel myself getting upset not just about the babies but my family.  How I feel I missing out on such a joyous family ocassion (I don't have my own family & the family I come from don't know the meaning of family).  Luckily DH came to find me & I said I need to make an exit now (could feel the tears coming on & didn't want to make a scene).

While I was getting my coat DH had an insensitive comment from my friend's father "isn't about time you two had kids?"  well I'm glad DH said something to him people should think before they speak.

So all in all not a great weekend.


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## Velma (Feb 3, 2010)

Hi Griffo78,

I am so sorry to hear that. I have had times were i have felt so let down by my family also, where i felt that they do not have a clue what i am going through nor do they seem interested or concerned. Only telling me problems, people dying and who's pregnant etc. However i have to say i have found this harder at times when i have been feeling very depressed. I think when you start to feel better this will not annoy you as much. I guess i have reasoned with myself that we cannot carry everyone elses problems, something i am normally guilty of, but i think people concentrate on trivial things because it gets them through. Maybe they think you dont need them or that they have no idea how to help etc. Either way you need to expect less and perhaps you will not let these failures to respond the way you want affect your mood. Easier said than done, perhaps reduce your contact for a bit until you are less emotional.
Your weekend was not a total disaster, you went to the christening, showed your support and enjoyed seeing your god daughter considering how you feel that is a big achievement. People will always say things that will hurt as you are going through this process, but you held it together and you went when you felt that you couldn't face anymore. I know at times i feel like human nature is all crap, but then the support you get on here is great and you see you are not alone. People will not always respond the way you want , so you need to stay close to those who help and start to distance yourself from those that don't. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Velma x


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## Smiffles06 (Feb 14, 2010)

So sorry honey that you are feeling that way 

Sometimes I feel that people do not know what to say so tend to say nothing at all.  Perhaps your parents are scared that they will say the wrong thing and upset you??  I have friends who tend to stay quite and say nothing and sometimes all i want them to do is ask me how I am feeling.  Sometimes I just want to give them a good shake. 

I am new here but have felt very welcomed and comforted with the support that other members have for each other, this site is a real godsend where we can come to vent, cry and tell people how we really feel and they will understand what we are going through as they have experienced or experiencing the same problems.

Keep your chin up honey, sending you lots of love and a big hug.


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## confusedcarly (Dec 7, 2009)

Hi Griffo 

I just wanted to say hello. I was reading some of the things that have happened to you recently and how your feeling about your family. Some of things you have said are quite similar to my experience at the minute.

My father has bipolar and altho he is managing it with medication...my mum finds it hard to cope with and seems to resent her lot in life. I told my mum about us TTC when we first went to our GP after 18 mths of no luck. I got quite upset when i was telling her and i dont really think she knew waht to say. She ended up saying the usual 'just relax' etc etc. Anyway, i told her last Oct that we were prob going to need fertility treatment and she didnt even seem concerned. Since then she hasnt once asked me how  things are going/how im feeling. We live around 70 miles away so only see my parents once/twice a month. Anyway- she hardly ever phones me anymore and any time i phone she always seems like she isnt interested in having a chat. Im feeling really hurt that she hasnt asked me how i am as i sometimes get really down about it. It sometimes seems that my parents are more interested in other peoples lives and trivialities - like you say. 
I have a funny relationship with my mum anyway. It just annoys me that the one person i thought i could talk to ie. my mum, doesnt seem interested.
But thats where sites like this are a godsend because you really do get so much support and everyone seems to be rooting for ya.

Im getting refexology at the minute for general health/relaxation purposes and also to see if it will help us. I have found it to be really good and gives me soemthing to look forward to every week. I feel so relaxed and positive after it.

Anyway i just wanted you to know that i can understand some of things you are saying. All the best.

Carly xx


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## loopylisa73 (Feb 10, 2010)

awww how rude and insensitive of that man to say that to your DH!!!!

I think you did great to go at all and sounds like you held it together brilliantly.

I cant wait for the day when you can say ' i have a BFP and i didnt come by it easilybut thanks for your comments all the same'

take care xx

loopy


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Just wanted to thank you all for being so understanding & supportive.  Today has been a better day.  Met a friend who I used to work with.  She doesn't know any of my troubles and was thinking of telling her, but instead she mentioned that she had been stressed about something.  It was a nice change to listen & try and help someone else (feels like it's been a while).

I also had a counselling session (couldn't have come at a better time), great to let off steam about the family situation.  But have realised today I have an amazing & supportive husband and do have friends out there (even though I haven't discussed my problems that much with them) who have reached out and offered support.  I guess I have to try & focus on these good things.

Just one more thing not sure if I should carry this thread on, I only meant to introduce myself, should I be posting somewhere else regarding this issue?

Thanks again & good night


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Griffo ... You are welcome to post here as long as you like hun. If you would like to venture out into the other boards then that's great too, the more you post, the more support you will recieve and more friends you will make. All in your own time though. The Peer support boards are great too *Peer Support (for asking fertility and treatment related questions of your fellow FFers) ~ * CLICK HERE but for more chatter then you could try the TTC naturally boards, you'll probably find others who are in a similar situation to yourselves  Click here

I'm so glad you have had a better day today


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## jackono (Feb 15, 2010)

Hi Griffo,

I am new to all this too and only joined yesteday myself and I got in touch with the girls in my area (Yorkshire). Like this board it was so supportive as soon as i posted my 1st help i am new message and was was luckly in time for their meet up tonight to which they invited me! They are all in the same boat as me but are at different stages of tx and ttc. why not try the Cardiff area for the same kind of group?

And i echo evertything you have gone through but it is his family that is the pain tho mine are great and understand as they have gone through all this so know what to ask when and know not to push it and also my Mom understands that the whole world is preggers or have 4 kids.

I have up and down days too - worst was on Sunday at my DH cousins 1st birthday where his other aunt was looking after her 16 year olds unexpected bundle of joy (which she is stuggling with). His Mom announced she cant wait to be a Grandma and I batted off the usual 'are you not preg yet'. I got through the 2 hours of baby questioning hell and then practically flooded the car on the way home - DH did well to console and drive at same time!

if you ever want to down load please get in touch.
Gem x


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## Jodes17 (Feb 16, 2010)

Hi 

I'm also new today and feel completely overwhelmed by the world of IVF.  My DH had 3 failed IVF attempts with ex wife and we have been TTC for 1.5 years and are now going through the mound of tests, but we will need to have ICSI because of sperm morphology, Being treated at CARE in Notts.  
I am worried because of our ages me 41 DH 44.  I am trying to battle my way through the jargon and info overload as I'm a late starter to all this.  If anyone can offer help and advice on keeping perspective I'd appreciate it!.  Thanks

Jodes x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Thanks Gem!  Oh God that sounds awful.  It's so hard to keep some dignity isn't it?  You really want to scream back or cry, but you don't as you don't want to cause a scene.  If we weren't ttc or not wanting children it wouldn't matter one little bit we would just laugh about it.

I have just posted on the South Glamorgan Board to ask a question about GP referrals, seems my GP hasn't referred me yet, as I just rang the hospital and there is no record of me.  How annoying  

Thanks again for your kind message.  And same goes for you, please get in touch if you ever need to let off.


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Hi Jodes, welcome  

It's really hard to keep everything in perspective, I have had a hard time with it.  You become obsessed and can't think of anything else.

For me I'm trying to create something new to focus on.  I have started training for a half marathon.  It's quite far away (October) and I could even have conceived by then, but I was so fed up with putting my life on hold and always thinking "I can't do that just in case I'll get pregnant".  So this training is a great way to get fit and release those endorphins.

Look for something else to focus on which will make you happy.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.


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## jackono (Feb 15, 2010)

I have been chasing my referal for weeks and they said they had never heard of me. The GP Prac man said they had - and.... she checked again.
I have been married well over a year and changed my name with the surgery about a week later - they obviously didn't update it correctly as they had me as my maiden name - I would check with your GP of date of referal and which doc at hosp if they say they have check with the hosp using you NHS number just in case!!!

it is the waiting and numpties that has driven me bonkers  

Grrrr
Gem


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Gem I totally understand!  I don't think these doctors know how important it is to us as we have our clocks ticking away!  I managed to speak to the doctor just then and she seemed to think she had sent out a letter!  Told her I rang the hospital and there was no record of me, so she said she'll do it again, had the fax number & gave it to her.  Should be no excuses now!  I wonder if she forgot to send the letter out?

Just fed up with being in limbo.  I went to a private clinic last week to have an ultra sound, which checked my womb lining and ovaries no problems there.  Just want my tubes checked and then I can make a decision on what to do then.


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## jasalice08 (Feb 14, 2010)

Hi Griffo 78

I've just read your post and responses. I think you were so cool to go to the christening- good on you. I really feel for you as your mum doesn't sound very helpful.   Sending you a hug- I can just imagine the small gathering and all those mothers consumed by their own lives and their babies! I'm reading a book at the moment called the Baby Void - my quest for motherhood. The lady writing the book was pregnant with twins and lost them at 12 weeks and her husband went out to the pub whilst she was dealing with things. All she wanted from her friends was for people to ask " How are you?" People generally are so useless at asking that basic question. I told my friend who got pregnant on her second month of trying that we were struggling and when I called her the first thing she said was " Are you pregnant yet?" I wish I had the bottle to say, "have you lost weight/got slim yet?"- because it's that personal - why do people think they have the right to ask? And why are peole so tactless. Guess what- I'm one of eight children- i'm starting to think that this is a huge irony that I seem unable to get pregnant.   Sending you positive vibes. gotta go - my in-laws are here. We've got to go to my mum's 60th this weekend x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Hi jasalice08 thanks for your post.  The weeks leading up to the christening I didn't want to go because I was in a really bad way.  DH wasn't keen either.  But because we were God parents we thought if we didn't go we'd regret it in the future.  Our God daughter is such a lovely little girl so smiley    I haven't seen too much of her really because the way that I am feeling.  Her mother (one of my best friends) does understand a bit.

I haven't told all my friends about my situation yet only said I was going through some depression.  I find it hard to talk about and it's not easy if you meet them and they have their baby with them or a bump.

My mother has never been very helpful, I usually let it go due to her bipolar condition.  She finds it hard to deal with emotional or stressful situations.  Most of my life I've had to deal with things myself or with help of friends/partners.  I think on this ocassion I feel very let down by my parents.  My father I think has just given so much over the years to support my mother (believe me having someone bipolar so close to you can be hell) that he can't give anymore or deal with any emotional issues.  Just makes me sad that I don't have any family to rely on or support me.  I'm so lucky at least to have an amazing DH!

It must be hard for you coming from a large family, do your siblings have their own children?  I have a lot of second cousins who come from large families and they seem like a huge baby factory I can't keep up!  Hope your mum's birthday goes well.


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## Donksi (Jan 27, 2010)

Hi there, im 27 , and my hubby and i tried to concieve for 3.5 yrs. I had numerous blood tests which confirmed i was ovulating, my hubby was also tested and they said the problem was with motility. I had a laporoscopy  previous to this to rule out Endometriosis . So in a nutshell we were told we had unexplained infertility. A few years down the line of using ovulation tests and pregnancy tests nearly every month for 3.5 years ( very expensive) still nothing , I got very emotional when we were told nothing could be done, i was screaming like a baby in the fertility specialists room .... so ... he added me on the list for ivf, much to my delight .
  Now im in the middle of my treatment . I had blood tests done which again showed i was ovulating .... then the dreaded scan... where they found i had a cyst the same size as my ovary, AND my ovaries looked polycystic!!! I told the doctor" dont be silly, ive not got pcos , the blood tests rule that out " But much to my amazement , blood tests can be very normal , the fact i had loads of follicles in each ovary, the cyst , and a bit of acne and the random hair growing out my face proved i have pcos!!! So with pcos , if you are told you are ovulating the question i would be asking is , is the follicle that has been released from you ovary empty , as this was the case with me!!! i would never have known i had pcos if i had not have burst into tears in that room . THEN!!!  my husband was tested again , and they explained they done a further test that they dont normally do until you are near enough ready for treatment , only to find that his body is producing an antibody that is killing his sperm before it gets the chance to reach the egg!! i hope this helps. I thought we were incompatable too.Now  we are having icsi treatment,  just you push for answers !!! take care x


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## Griffo78 (Feb 10, 2010)

Everythings seems normal so our tests show.  But as you say the further you go down the line the more you find out.  Just waiting for a date for a lap & dye so many I'll get some more answers by then.  So frustrating, but I'm starting to relax a bit and realising that I might not be able to conceive naturally.  

Donksi, really hope your treatment works out for you.  Good luck!


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