# OTD ON SEPT 11TH AND TODAY BROWN BLOOD



## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi Ladies


I hope you are all a bit more sane than me on your 2ww.



I have my blood test on Tuesday and this morning there was some brown blood (gross sorry to be so vile) I also have period pains. Should I just put myself out of my misery and test I have never done this early before? As this is my last go I think I just want to know, feeling like an emotional wreck.


I have been really good until the last few days but now the enormity of yet another negative result is on me and seems inevitable I am in a heap. 


Love Cxx


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

hi C

Don't know what to advise you but wanted to respond. I am due to test on Monday so am at similar stage to you.

They do say that bleeds can be for any kind of reason and that they don't necessarily mean AF but I know that during this 2ww it is sooooo hard that I can understand how you feel.  I think I would still leave it til the Tuesday.  Perhaps do a pee stick on Tuesday (unless blood results are instantaneous).  If you do test now, you still won't really know if it's accurate so it's just going to give you that uncertainty still.

Can you find something to distract yourself? (silly question i know).  But i mean really try to find a treat or something you like to do and just go and spoil yourself with it.  

Ohh it is so hard, my thoughts are with you and I'm sending you     to get through this and to get where you want to be

Roxy xx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Clogs

I'm also due to test Monday, have been having brown spotting since Tues, convinced myself its all over, waited for full flow, which so far   hasn't materialised.
This is also my last go, and both previous times I have bled 5 days before OTD - its so hard to believe this could be anything other than AF, but I am clinging desperately to the hope that it could work.
Save yourself the misery, DO NOT test early, all you will do is work yourself up into a mess, try to hang on til Tues, and I   for us all its a good result
XXX


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi Roxy and Doddy


Thanks so much at least you have pulled me out of the morose mood. I have resisted testing and bought myself some make up instead. I am wishing you both the best for Monday. It is bloody torture the lasts few days. To be honest I feel like a massive glass of wine and a cigarette both impossible I know.
Doddy I will be thinking of you too and hope that we both get a result on our last go. I really hope so.


Love Cxxx


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

well done C!

I know how it is... sometimes feels all over, other times OK and managing..... dunno where we would be without ff to fall back on.

So hope the weekend passes quickly and calmly for you and same for Doddy -   for you both

Roxy xx


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi 


You too Roxy definitely think AF is around I have even cried tonight. Wishing you all the best let me know how you get on on Monday Cxx


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## Mimi Von Trapp (Sep 2, 2012)

Hi all
Wishing you all the best for next week. I don't test til friday but will be thinking of you all. Hang in there-not long now!


Mimi


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Mine turned red not long after I posted, clinic have insisted I continue progesterone and test Monday


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## Mimi Von Trapp (Sep 2, 2012)

Doddyclaire- so sorry to hear that! Everyone is different and you hear stories of women blooding and going on to get Bfp. My last cycle ended in brown and that night I had major cramping pains. My husband tried to reassure me that I was not losing our embryos but I just new! The pain was so bad and then full flow. I had to continue with pessaries and test on the date (we had 2 embryos transferred). I think in some ways its easier if the symptoms are so bad that you are left in no doubt what has happened. Ther is always a little peice of hope somewhere in there. Really feel for you! Take each day as it comes.


Mimi


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

aah Clogs and Doddy, I am still   for you both.
Sending  you both big   and yeah, will let you know monday.

mimi - hi and good luck on the lovely 2ww  

Roxy xx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Thanks girls, not had any cramps but full on bleed kind of guarantees the outcome, I know there's a very small chance which is why I didn't crawl into the wine bottle last night, but I don't hold much hope!  Xx


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Dear Doddy

So sorry it is such a desperate feeling. I think I am following on behind you. Life really sucks sometimes, I am with you though that a bleed this early pretty much means it just hasn't workeD. What are your next steps?  Big hugs Cx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Clogs - sorry you are in the same boat   next steps are to get pished after Monday and then move on. That was our last attempt, so we will be forever childless


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi Doddy


My last go too, but I am older than you at 40 can you just not face another go? It is just so hard to come to terms with I know. I am so sorry and hope that it isn't the end. Cxxxxx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

To be brutally honest, no I cant face ging through it all again, my body does not respond well, and I have low egg reserves, and the heartbreak at each failure just gets worse, not easier.
I dont want my relationship to suffer any more than it has already for this, I woudl rather have the rest of my life wit the love of my life than keep chasing empty dreams - if that makes sense?!


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi Doddy


I completely understand we put our bodies through so much and the 2ww goes soooo slowly and the disappointment does seem to get worse each time. My Mum always says to me the happiest marriages are often the ones without children and I guess we all have to know when to say enough enough is enough. It is also a very pricey process to come out with nothing to show for it. I sometimes worry I am becoming a bit hard.


My Dad didn't want me to have another go he worries about the effects of pumping so many potent drugs into your body, so I definitely don't want to worry him anymore. My husband also says he has me and I am so messy it is like having a baby. ha ha. There are lots of wonderful things in life I guess, I just always pictured my life with a family. I also feel like a failure because every other bugger seems to find having kids so easy hey.


Well I think you are being very sensible, but if you need a rant you know where I am. Cxxxx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Thanks Clogs - and same to you 

I think you know when you're ready to draw the line, I always pictured my life with kids in it and now I have to re-evaluate that part, but its not the end of the world for us.
I did LOL at what your DH said!!

Big   mate xx


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## Mimi Von Trapp (Sep 2, 2012)

Doddy claire- I'm on my last attempt too. Completely understand where you are coming from about it not wanting to affect your relationship! I'm 40 next year and my husband turned 50 last month so good time to call it quits. If this attempt fails we have ideas for big holidays and I'm having new kitchen! So sorry- let yourself grieve if you find out for sure its failed. Til then hold onto that little bit of hope. Sending you  

Mimi


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Mimi - in the nicest way, I hope you don't get your new kitchen or big holidays  
Best of luck xx


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## rachel petch (Sep 7, 2010)

Hi Doddyclaire 
I cycled with you in Feb, I'm so sorry hunny! I'm in my 2ww and test on Sunday. This is also our last attempt, but hubby and I talked last night in depth about if we are not successful this time, and we ve agreed that you can go on forever, some women do! But we will draw the line next Sunday, or be totally over the moon, that we will be parents. I'm 40 also next year and, we ve also agreed that lots of hols will b had.  Home improvements etc..... Xxx good luck girls, I just cold mt read and run xxxxxx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Rachel - hi, yea I remember you too!!  Wishing you all the best for Sunday, I'm now off to test   xx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Yep, definitely a   for us.  Wish you girls all the best xx


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

So sorry Doddy. Cxxxxxx


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## rachel petch (Sep 7, 2010)

Awww, so sorry Doddyclaire  . It's just the ****s is nt? Wishing you all the very best for the future my love xxx


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

hi you guys
Just thought I'd let you know that mine was negative so yeah, feeling pretty rubbish today.
Sorry to hear yours Doddy.  
C I hope that we get a surprise from you...
Rachel and Mimi - lots of luck with yours
Roxy x


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Dear Roxy


I am gutted for you and Doddy. Have yourself a bucket of wine tonight and then see what you want to do next. Big hug I am so sorry I really feel for you. Love Cxx


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## Mimi Von Trapp (Sep 2, 2012)

Just to let you know I have now tested and its negative. Heart goes out to you all.
Roxy and Doddy, I know how you feel! My plan to have holidays and a new kitchen seems like a cruel consolation prize! Got a lot of grieving to do! My husband and I know that we will have a great life, just the 2 of us but it just doesn't seem fair!
All the best to you all. You are very brave ladies and I admire your determination but for us the dream is over.

All the best for those still on 2ww.
Mimi


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi Mimi


I know it does feel so unfair and people who haven't gone through it can never eve understand. It is particularly hard when you see dreadful parents too. My heart goes out to you and I know that kitchens, holidays, pets are no substitute. Take care of yourself I am so sorry.


Cxx


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## doddyclaire (Oct 4, 2010)

Sorry Mimi & Roxy that today you also have this black cloud 

I feel kind of ok, I guess I did the worst of my grieving last week when I knew in my heart that was it, today feels in some small way a relief that I can put this behind me now, and look forward with my wonderful man, we know we'll have some great times ahead, as we have done in the past.
I hope that time can bring you some comfort girls


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## rachel petch (Sep 7, 2010)

I'm truly thinking of you all girls!!! Xxx


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## artist_mum (Jun 19, 2012)

aaah Mimi... so sorry to hear. So unfair.  Thinking of you.

Doddy and Rachel, thanks for your comments.  Really helps to have some people actually know and say kind things (only have 1 person who knows we are doing this)

C and Rachel :  C'MON..! buck the trend on this string!

Roxy x


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## clogs (Feb 26, 2009)

Roxy that is do kind of you to think of Rachel and I. I am thinking of you all too not that it helps. Cxxxx


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## rachel petch (Sep 7, 2010)

Aww, Roxy, your so sweet, thinking of you all


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