# Help. where to start



## ric33ely (Sep 27, 2011)

Hi Everyone 

Really dont know where to start with the questions. My partner of 5 years and i have decided that its time to make our family complete. We have looked into fostering and adoption and have started the process but due to my medical issues really dont think we will be accepted. 

We would love to have our own biological child but looking onlibe i really dont know where to start.

My cousin who has seven children of her own has offered to be a host surrogate but would feel umcomfatable using her own eggs. After contacting a clinic in london i have found out some rough costs ( in excess of £9000) and realised this may not be within our reach. 

Does anyone have ideas or advice on where to start and what are the procedures involved. Would it be cheaper to find someone who would be a full surrogate and where would we start looking for this. Are there alternatives abroad that may be within or budget? or do we just enjoy time we spend with or nieces and nephews and 2 goddaughters and resign ourselves to the fact we will never be parents

Any advice is greatly recieved as we feel extremely lost at the moment

Regards
Richard & John


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## katenreb (Oct 3, 2010)

didn't want to run and not answer, seen as it was your first post, we are sort of in the same boat as you as we are just starting out in looking for a donor. we did sort of start late last year but an unplanned hose move made us put things on hold. you might want to take a look at the surrogacy pages on here maybe able to help answer some questions you have. I hope you find what your looking for quickly. I have thought about been a surrogate myself but at the moment we would like to add to our family as my partner would like to carry our baby, as she is 'step mum' if you like to my children from a previous relationship, any way just wanted to say there are people out there willing to help so good luck and dint give up


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## jessica60 (Aug 21, 2011)

Hi, have you considered a coparenting relationship. There are a few websites about, gay couples, lesbian couples, single women etc wanting to share parenthood. You could agree or get a contract signed for 50/50 parenting. There are other options out there. We are ttc at the mo with a a gay guy we met online and have since met up with and got on well. There are def women out there that would be interested.


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## ric33ely (Sep 27, 2011)

hi thanks for the quick response. its nice to know there are people out there who are fulfilling there dreams and gives me hope that we must continue looking. I have never thought of co parenting and guess that would be an option. I suppose location would be play a big part in it being successful. We have both been racking our brains if we know people that we may be able to approach to help but as yet have drawn a blank apart from the idea of my cousin being a host. Fingers crossed things will work out and we will find an angel out there.


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## jessica60 (Aug 21, 2011)

We spent a couple of years racking our brains on who we knew and if we could ask them, I feel like we wasted this time, we went online and spent over another year looking for the right guy/s. We are now ttc and feel like we are waiting forever for it to work and get a bfp. Pm me if you want to know some of the websites we used.


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## katenreb (Oct 3, 2010)

sadly yes location can play a very big part in ttc, we got to know a wounderfull gay couple that were looking for the same thing as us, ( they wanted a baby, we wanted a baby. they were willing to donate, I was willing to be a surrogate) but sadly the lived down south and us in yorkshire made any thought of meeting up at the right times of the month near on impossible. so all though still in touch we all realised it wouldn't work for us. Get straight on the internet and get googling and open as many doors as you can so to speak!


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