# Matching panel for a baby



## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

I know it's been asked dozens of times before about questions at matching panel but one of the questions and probably the most important I'm struggling with. I've seen they always ask "why this child?".
We have a 6 month baby placed on f2a with us at the moment and we're going to matching panel in February and I genuinely don't know how to answer this. For us now he's with us I can not imagine life without him and he's already so much a part of the family but I'm not sure we can answer the question from the point of view of us already having him? I'm very confused and hoping someone can help!
With older children you can say about interests and personality matches or any special needs that you feel you can make a difference to etc but with a baby I'm not sure what can be said in that respect as he is an easy to place baby with no concerns?


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi Becs

Well how about what you said here, I.e. "we can't imagine life without him, he's already part of the family"? 

Our siblings are too young to have interests as such. One of them seems to like dolls and the other likes shouting. Not particularly interests shared by me n DH.  
We just said we had a good feeling about them and couldn't explain it but that we felt they were right for us. There was no mention of shared interests. 
We also said that none of the possible uncertainties on the CPR worried us as we felt we could deal with them if they occurred.

They might not ask that in this situation I don't know. 

HTH x


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## AoC (Oct 28, 2008)

Exactly what GG said.    Don't agonise it, just say what you feel.  They want to hear the heartfelt, anyway.

Although Bug was an older child (2 when placed) when they asked us that we said we didn't know, he just felt like OUR BOY from the first moment we read about him.  I teared up as I said it, and it was met by beaming smiles all around the table.

I think say what you've said above, and that will be wonderful.


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Hey Becs. I agree with others. Don't worry to much about it. I think I answered something similar to already been said.... 'Just felt right, a really good match, where we live was good and what we could offer her'. We didn't give a really indepth answer as like you say it's difficult when they are a baby and it's one of first profiles you've seen. They were more than happy with our answers. 

Xx


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Thanks everyone it's so hard! I think it's because he's already here I'm stressing over what I should be saying! He's gone to his final contact today so nice to get that out of the way then it's panel 4 weeks on Monday! My brother and family will be down from Scotland then as its half term so will be nice to be able to celebrate as a family!


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Hi becs40

No advice but wanted to say Hi as my husband and I have a 5 month old baby boy on f2a. He also just had his final contact and we have matching panel in a few weeks time. Not sure how long your baby has been with you but ours just a few weeks and I was thinking about whether we can take baby to matching panel as its such early days to be leaving him with someone but I don't know if that's an option. Our experience of f2a has all been amazing so far and so glad we went down this route


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Hi watakerfuffle,
Our little man came home on 19th dec so 3 weeks ago today. MP is 9th feb and we will definitely be taking little man as too soon to leave him. Our sw said another f2a they'd done did the same and it was actually really nice for MP to see them as very unusual and they all found it a really nice experience.
I'm so glad we've done it as to have them so young is amazing but I am glad that he wasn't placed until after po was issued to lessen that risk. I thought we would have been able to handle it if things didn't work out but now he's here I'm not so sure.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

How funny becs40, our little man moved in the same day! Also had PO, we started doing intros with uncertainty but by time he moved in court proceedings had taken place. It's unusual for f2a to be like his though I believe, we are just incredibly lucky and blessed   So in love with our little man and also realising that had things being different I am not sure if I really could have coped with lo going back


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Wow that's spooky! Pretty tricky move date wasn't it! So close to xmas and we have parents nearby on their own so had xmas lunch with them but other than that kept it very low key.
Because we only got the go ahead on the 15th at mid day and intros started next morning we were struggling to get bits we needed. Not because shops weren't open -we were thankful it was xmas and they were all open late, but because we had a spare hour here or something when he was at contact but it just took so long to get anywhere because of the traffic. 
We knew about lo in August and had prepared for him coming so thankful we had as it meant his room was ready, we had all the big stuff so there wasn't any major panic.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Slightly different for us as only got told about a possible little one needing a f2a placement a week before intros started! All happened very fast but we had been preparing since we were approved in October for a lo and he is our second so we had alot of stuff already from no 1! That must have been a nightmare for you getting the things you needed. Don't know about you but our baby didn't come with much at all but did come straight from a mother and baby placement.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Not a massive amount no. His bottles, a box of toys and a big bag of all his clothes including outgrown ones. 
We'd cecorated his room and bought cot, change table, car seats and buggy. We borrowed a highchair from my mum until after xmas. So it was things like gedding I needed to get and wash and using reusable nappies so had to get them all washed before he came. Needed to buy some more clothes and vests egc but that wasn't too bad and ordered formula and food etc on normal ocado order.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Yeah our lo had outgrown most of his clothes, mind you he is growing fast. Looking forward to first health visitor visit this week and seeing what his weight is now


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

It's taking ages for ours to properly get him registered so no idea when we'll get a visit. I am taking him to a weigh in clinic this afternoon though but my god he's a big boy so am expecting some comments on his weight! 
I had a call from the health visitor last week who after asking if we'd had any other children stated " must be very hard for you first time and especially with someone else's baby!" 😱 I'm sure she didn't mean it like that but my god is that ever a case  of think before you speak!


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Crikey Becs! That is very unprofessional! Cross for you about that comment!
Our health visitor has been brilliant I have to say. Got in touch straight away, been round 3 times to do weight and general chat to see how all doing. Think we've been lucky x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Well we registered him 3 weeks ago and got a call last week saying it takes "longer than they'd like to get us on the system before they can do home visit". I know it wasn't an ill intentioned comment, quite the opposite just a very unfortunate choice of words. She did say to take him to the drop in clinic in the meantime fir weigh and get to meet them so we'll do that later.


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## watakerfuffle (Jan 26, 2011)

Wow what a comment for her to make, obviously just wasn't thinking! We registered with docs straight away but heard nothing from health visitor, I called them in fact! Our little man is a bit of a chunky monkey to, well actually he has previously struggled to put weight on for various reasons but doing well now. I think he just looks big as he is rather short and has chubby cheeks


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

Becs - how did you get on at weigh in? X


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