# New to FF starting egg share soon advice needed!



## fififofum (Sep 28, 2011)

Hi there! I've just recently joined FF. My partner and I have been together for 7 years and have been wanting to start a family for some time. We both feel like now is the right time to start trying. I'm 28 and my partner is 31. We have had our first consultation at LWC Darlington and are planning to do egg sharing. The plan was for my partner to share her eggs with me and a recipient.. Can anyone share any advice about this When we had the scan I had 7-8  antral follicles on each ovary and my partner had 5 on each. The consultant was more in favour of me being the egg donor and carrier and my partner was very upset by this as she wants me to carry her biological child so it is part of both of us... Can anyone offer any advice? I'm new to all this x


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## Candy76 (Feb 19, 2011)

Welcome Fififofum!
I don't think anybody can advise and hindsight is a great thing.
From our experience I would say there are two factors: What is medically most likely to succeed and what is it you want the most. - How many kids do you want, how much money have you got, do you both want to have a genetic connection / be pregnant ...?

We had all sorts of theories when we started out. And things have not at all panned out the way we would have wanted it to happen. We wanted at least 3 kids. However, 5 year on and we would be over the moon to have one.
The longer it drags on the more DW feels she wants a genetic connection. (No-one will ever know how she would feel now had I fallen pregnant with triplets.) So we go with her for now as time is running out for her, even though DW's chances are not that high. If it doesn't work, I am the backup. I am not that fussed about the whole birth thing (my gran nearly died giving birth). But there we go.

We try to talk things through and decide on the basis of what is possible and what is most important to us/ each of us. In your case: If you go with you now and in 3 years time your partner wants to have a go, her egg reserve will be even less than it is now (statistically less chance, higher costs). How would your partner feel about this?
Of course your clinic would recommend to go with whoever seems to have more eggs, but if it doesn't feel right for you two, don't go along with it, if you have a choice. I feel, afterwards you need to be able to say that whatever you did was what you thought was best at the time.

Anyway, hope your ttc journey will be a short one with a happy ending!


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## fififofum (Sep 28, 2011)

Hello Candy76 and thank you so much for taking the time in replying to me I really appreciate your advice. I know we really need to talk about things its just nice to have this place to tell others how you're feeling.. kind of like reassurance! Thanks! I think the best thing to do is just see what happens, we have been told to wait 3 months and we are making another appointment in January to hopefully begin our treatment etc.. So we will see what happens at the time. My DW definitely does not want to give birth but I would love that (say this now lol) 

Good luck to you both as well  x


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