# Why is everyone pregnant!



## NiaJS

Hi Everyone

Is anyone like me and constantly having people around them getting pregnant?  I know 6 pregnant women at the moment!! I'm so happy for the all but must admit when my friend told me she was pregnant last week I really couldn't help but think why not me...us?!?!  I wish I didn't feel like this but I can't help it. What was even harder was the look of 'ahhh poor you' and all the 'patronising (but caring) advice of 'why don't you go on holiday, have a bottle of wine and relax...it will happen' urmm hello? why are people so insensitive?  

What's worse is there are several pregnant women at work who just can't stop talking about it....it's driving me mad! I so wish I could hide somewhere......if anyone out there feels the same please let me know, I'm not a freak am I? Xx


----------



## Julesa2

I feel the same  and I'm starting to get paranoid now every time I am out with friends that already have one baby when they order a soft drink! I'm just waiting for the minute they announce they are pregnant again. The last friend that told me could barely tell me for crying as she felt so bad and then I felt so bad for her! I have also just heard from another friend that our other friend wants to start trying but is worried it happens for her before me!! I HATE this!!!!! So yes I feel like you, i feel all I ever do is buy baby cards and gifts.  . it doesn't mean we are not happy for others its just so hard x


----------



## Kllkkl2006

I feel ya girls totally
It's the hardest thing when people closest to u get pregnant 
I've gone for the keep my problem to myself theory so no one knows 
Which on one hand is better as I don't want pitty
But on the other hand I hate the usual question of when u gonna have one
Or about time u have one
My usual answer is who knows when as I think that's very apt as its true
"who knows when"
I find it harder as my sis in law has just and a semi unwanted baby boy after 3 previous terminations
And the first reason she gave for keeping this child
Was that she used all her NHS abortions I felt physically sick and cried for days
Her brother my dp knows nothing of the abortions so he wonders why I hold such a grudge to her! X


----------



## lexiecat

Yup me too...

2 friends recently got preggers first month of trying. I actually felt sick when I found out (and I know that sounds awful!).

Of course I'm happy for them, but I sort of feel we would have deserved it more! 

One girl i work with.. i love her to bits but she keeps trying to help but makes it worse e.g." i know someone that was on waiting list for ivf when it happened after 4 years of trying", i've had 2 years of trying and not sure how i'll cope with 2 more! then she started saying oh pregnancy isn't all is cracked up to be! SHUT UP!!!! i'd like to find out for myself thanks!! arrrgh.

Klkl2006, I really don't know how you can keep your cool with your sis in law, that's dreadful. I hope that little boy gets the love he deserves

keep going girls, we'll get there

x


----------



## Kllkkl2006

Hi Lexiecat

Yep I know what you mean the thought of waiting any more makes my stomach turn
I'm scared te stress of waiting for treatment and the fact they will tell me to
Lose weight so I will be Mardy and hungry will take its toll on my relationship
I find it sooooo hard to keep my cool my tongue has been bitten many times! 

2 years is plenty enough to not have a result
But we can do it girls
I'm scared of slipping into depression as I already suffer anxiety 
Lots of hope and baby dust to u all

Love trini


----------



## Abbey82003

I'm with you on this. I feel like everyone is pregnant at the moment. One of my best friends told me the other day she is pregnant after trying for two months!!! We,ve been trying for over two years and are about to start ivf. I cant stand people saying " arrrr it will happen you just need to relax"  or " you just need to put it to the back of your mind and it will happen".  HOW EXACTLY!!!!!!!!    I hate that I'm not happy for my friends and that I can't be a friend and support them properly but it's just so painful at times.


----------



## Dinosaur2061

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in having such thoughts ... Seems every time I turn around theres a big happy pregnant person in my face. I am delighted for others, as we all are but it is tough when some seem to get pregnant in their sleep whilst others require test after test, waiting week after week. Fingers crossed and best of luck to us all.


----------



## TataZ

Hi girls, I am the same, having the same thoughts and actually catching myself counting how many women I know are pregnant at the moment. Also recently I noticed that I do some kind of 'scanning' of every woman on the street with my eyes to see if they are too pregnant...

Can you talk to your partners about these feelings? I did it once or twice but he said ' you cannot get fixated on those thoughts, other women will be getting pregnant around you, you should just try to be cool with it and not get upset..." Now I keep all such thoughts to myself but it's so hard...


----------



## Playdoh

Hi,  I actually walked out of a perfectly good job because I couldn't stand working with a girl who had 'accidentally' fallen pregnant and didn't stop talking about it. I ended up really depressed and often had to 'go and make us all a cuppa' so I could go and have a secret cry!  

My MIL is always coming out with a very well meaning but hurtful comment of "I wouldn't have traded motherhood for the world" - ouch!!  I know she means well (I think!) but comments like that are SO hurtful and everytime she says it I feel like she's punched me in the stomach.

I'd love to say it gets easier with time, but for me, with each 'happy announcement' comes a bucket load of tears combined with my wailing 'why can't it be our turn' !!

Grrrr!!

Playdoh. xx


----------



## Norma12

Hi, i feel the same too, was kind of glad the girl sitting next to me at work breaks up for maternity leave this week so I don't have to keep seeing the bump everyday, only to be told by another colleague she's pregnant with her second! Arrgghh. Comments from my mum upset me recently " having children isnt everything its cracked up to be you know, its hard work! Your friends dont tell you the difficult times too. " She seems to think we only want children because our friends have them, what about the fact we're desperate to have children & become parents, isnt that enough!  I guess they don't know what to say for the best .......


----------



## jojo30

It does seem that way doesnt it? That everyone around you seems to be sporting bumps? 
Makes everything we have to go through to make it happen seem so unfair. I mean, even though I'm basically trying to think of all our treatment as 'purely medical' its still a nightmare and a daily stuggle when pregnant people at work are whining on that they're tired, that everything is so hard, they are so uncomfortable, not to just tell them to 'suck it up and get on with it!' I know thats irrational but still!

Now, last week i found out my twin sister is pregnant - now 10 weeks. Dont get me wrong, I'm totally over the moon for her and her hubby but its unbelievably hard to jump around all excited. Obviously I am and well chuffed that I'll be an aunty but it's hard. I feel like the meanest sister in the world cos she was desparate for it to happen & had been trying about 6 months and was getting worried that it would never happen for them. I'm not good at expressing how I feel, even to my hubby (as I know he feels bad that we're having to do this and would feel even worse if he knew, plus I dont want him to think I'm a total cow!) & I definitely cant say any of this to my sister as I dont want to spoil her happiness! I'm sure it'll pass soon and I'll be able to jump around like a loony with her!


----------



## Magicbaby

thank u for this thread - im not the only 1 who thinks why is everyone pg!!!!

i too have started lookin for bumps an can usually say to my dh she pg even before that person has annonced it or even got to the 12wk point my dh thinks im a freak cuz of it - i do too infact - ive become obsessed and its not healthy

there is only me left in the office now who has not had a baby (well another girl but shes getting married early 2013 and i no will still be pg b4 me) all the other girls are now onto their 3rd an each time i feel why can they have 3 and i cant have 1 wot have i done thats so wrong  

the questions bug me too - ur married a rite few yrs no babies yet? u not gonna make me a granda soon (family dont no) do u feel ur being left behind as all ur friends have children? but thats not the reason i want one just becuz friends have them - me and my dh have so much love to give to a baby and so many other reasons but not becuz its the latest craze  

Awhhhhhhhhhh sorry for the moan - its nice to get it out tho and no im not alone

Magic x


----------



## westie2012

Am so glad after reading these posts that it's not just me who feels like this - after 8 babies born to friends in the past 6 months, and another 8 still due this year - that's 15 friends who will have had babies by the end of 2012 (one had twins). Of course I'm delighted for them all, but it's so hard not to feel sad and sorry for myself after yet another announcement... I am actually really very thrilled for a couple of friends who I know have been trying for ages, but the hardest one was from a really close friend whose pregnancy was totally unplanned. I couldn't help wondering, how on earth does this happen by accident? I had no idea until we started trying how slim a chance there actually was of getting pregnant each month!

We're going to a wedding in a couple of weeks and I'm dreading already all the well-meaning "so, do we hear the patter of tiny feet" or "you better get a move on" comments as everyone else rubs their bumps... joy!  It's always me who shuffles and looks awkward at these questions as ironically enough, I don't want to hurt their feelings. 

But must keep thinking positive - baby dust to all!

x


----------



## Lisafoxey33

Ladies I know we're you are coming from!! In our office we have mostly women & thd past year 9 women have fallen pregnant each time I smile & congratulate them!! I then hear the comments from others - about time you move on your not getting younger! Then comments from the blokes are if your hubby is a Jaffa I can give you soon!!  I just tell them to do one & laugh it off as in most offices if people see/ hear your upset you then become the talk of the office!! People can be harsh & nasty at times x


----------



## Billybeans

I am with you all on this one, I think we get to that milestone in life when we are in our most fertile (supposedly) yrs and all our friends are having babies. I feel like I am being left behind,loosing more and more friends as the months go on because they have more in common with their other friends as they meet up with their children of similar ages. 
I think alot of people are so inconsiderate and don't stop to think what may be going on in other peoples lives.
A couple of years ago a few of my colleagues were gathered round havin a chat and one of them said to me "So when are you having kids then?" Bearing in mind this was infront of about 6 other people, I was fuming so I give an equally sarcastic comment back saying "when I am 9 months pg" I was so cross, like we can just pick and choose when we want them. I felt like saying "it's not that easy love for people like me" but I bit my tongue on that one.
So sorry for the rant, makes me feel better tho (for a second or two)


----------



## surfgirl82

Hey ladies, hope you dont mind me replying, I've been asking myself this same question! Usually inbetween howling tears! We started ttc last year and since then everyone around us has got pregnant. One friend is due any day now, another has just been for a scan, my cousin is having her 20wk scan next week and my sister inlaw is currently trying. Like you, I feel happy for them and I dont begrudge anyone anything. I just wish it was our turn. The more I see others do it the more I think it will never happen for us. I really hope it will though.

I've found I have cut myself off from everyone as I can't deal with it. What do you guys to get through it? x


----------



## SLW1710

You are so right - it does seem that everywhere you look there are pregnant people.  And it's so easy to assume their journey has been an easy one compared to ours.  With people I don't know, I do find it easier as I don't know what journey they've been on to get pregnant so I try and reserve my sadness in those instances.  Kids with kids and pregnant teenagers send me over the edge a bit though.  surfgirl82, I'm not sure it gets any easier and I don't know what you can do to stop the feelings sadly.  Nothing can take away the pain of watching other people get what you want so badly however good a friend they are    It doesn't mean you're not happy for them or begrudge them, infact I almost feel happier for them knowing how hard it can be to get there.  But I am getting to the point where I don't want to be around pregnant people as it can make me sad.  I was at a wedding at the weekend where I got to spend the whole day with my beautiful God Daughter who is so adorable (she's 4).  I was watching her spin round on the dance floor in her little flower girl dress and I had to go and have a little cry in the loos as it hit me I might never get to see what a child of my own might look and be like    It's times like those that make this journey so difficult.  It is good to read that we're not alone though and the miracles of medicine are at our disposable.  Just got to keep everything crossed we get the positive outcomes we all deserve


----------



## lou-lou12

Hi ladies,

Sorry to impose but i too know exactly how you all feel... 

A girl in work with me got pregnant with her boyfriend of 3 weeks after having 2 abortions to 2 different men previously. Throughout her pregnancy she smoked around 30 cigarettes a day and gave birth to a healthy baby boy the day before i was taken in hospital to give birth to my 2 angels who had sadly passed away... 

and to top it all off another girl who lives close by who is, in her own words, a recreational drug user has just got pregnant after 4 months off the pill...... Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh

RANT OVER


----------



## SLW1710

I am so sorry to hear your sad news, lou-lou12    That must be so difficult to cope with without everythng else going on around you.  Sending you


----------



## Playdoh

So sorry to hear your sad news lou-lou12   x


----------



## lisann

Hi ladies,
So sorry Lou-lou12, I can't imagine how you feel.
It feels kind of nice to know lots of you feel like I do and I'm not going mad. I feel like I'm constantly looking at a pregnant belly!!! I've ended up having to end friendship over this because my friend, who is the same age, got pregnant and then phoned me up (I'd been trying for 2 years by this point) and said she was going to have an abortion because she felt she had "a few more things to do for herself first"!!! And that if it's this easy she'll just do it again when she's good and ready. I managed to get out before I said anything but I can't speak to her anymore!!!!
Although my favourite moment which I can now look back on and laugh at the sheer weirdness of it was on the tube back from a take that concert where I kid you not out of about 30 women in my carriage 20 of them were pregnant!!! They just kept coming!!! I even got told to get up to allow one to sit down ( which is fine clearly) but oh my god it was like a bloody comedy sketch - how many pregnant women can you fit in a train carriage!!!!!! At the time, if I could have I would have jumped our the train!!!
Hold in there ladies, our time will come, and then they'll be sorry!!!
Hugs and baby dust to you all.


----------



## lou-lou12

Lisann...

I too would have ended that friendship pronto!!! how inconsiderate??

Me and DH went on hols to turkey after it happened to try and have some alone time and whilst there we overheard a girl and her boyfriend telling some girls they knew that they had had an "accident" and it had caused arguments with their families as they had only been together a short while and they had to make the "agonising" decision of whether to have an abortion....... needless to say i got quite upset and my DH dragged me away from there asap...... really not what i wanted to hear after what we had just been through  

But you are quite right our time will come..... and sooner the better i say  

playdoh and slw1710 - thanks for the hugs.... they are both welcome and needed at the moment xx   
big hugs hun xxx


----------



## surfgirl82

Lou-lou I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, I can't imagine how you must feel. Sending you hugs too    
It's so hard to over hear conversations like that but I hope we all get our time soon xx


----------



## DippyHippy

Lou-lou I'm sorry to read of your devastating loss, am so sorry... sending hugs too   xxxxx


----------



## lou-lou12

thank you for all your kind words


----------



## BiddyBaby

Oh my goodness ladies it's like seeing every thought that has ever popped into my head written infront of me! I scan ladies in the street and on the train too! I get super paranoid and suspicious of friends, colleagues of child bearing age. 

Which leads me to the conclusion that what we are actually feeling is entirely rational and perfectly reasonable given our circumstances. I think it's time we stood up for ourselves and began to communicate clearly with the outside world about how it feels to walk in our shoes for a day. We don't have to be antagonistic, or confrontational about it. Perhaps write a set of guidelines or instructions about how to communicate with you in difficult situations e.g. pregnancy announcements or chatter. Nothing strict but just light and easygoing. I have read some self help books on coping with infertility (which I have found very useful). Perhaps photocopy or earmark sections that resonate with you and give them to family, friends, colleagues to read. Just say, 'It can be hard for me to understand and explain how I feel, so it probably is for you too. I would be really grateful if you could have a look at this for me so that we can try and work through this together as smoothly as possible'. 

I wish with my whole heart that none of us were going through this wretched business, but I find some comfort at least just to hear that I am not alone in my thoughts, and what I find really hard. 

Love and best wishes to you all x


----------



## BiddyBaby

Dear Lou-lou12 

I am so sorry for your loss.  

thinking of you and your DH. All the best for the future x


----------



## Nuttytart

I have mixed emotions about this subject. Somedays I think to myself maybe it's just me noticing it more. From reading what everyone's put it's all pieces of how I feel.
Everywhere I go literally there are pregnant people.
I go to work all week & the pregnant people back in the office, parents talking none stop about there children. People asking me constantly when I'm having children. Some women even play the system to get pregnant just to have time off a bad year at work. Some people I would of called great friends now avoid me as just not to be in an awkward situation. I almost feel like maybe it's me avoiding them and their special time. It's not fair, I don't feel jealousy, envy and am glad for them, but it doesn't mean I find it easy.
Then there's all the children that I deal with that have been neglected etc, people having kids just for the sake of it and there unwanted.  It's so hard.
Then I come home to see all my relatives with their children. Friends that are pregnant and then the next generation of my cousins that have just left school text those words.
The pressures and options of others saying it'll be ok, it's not a god given right to have children, - screw you. 
Everytime I mention children dh is like, it's not a competition! Yes I know I'm just taking part in the race and each month I get hurt again.
Typing this had made me realise that I'm not actually dealing to well with this. I'm 27 I should be at my fertile peak, but instead I'm here 3.05am alone, ranting-apologises. Although I do feel better writing this.  Trying to stay positive but it a struggle. Baby dust to everyone. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨


----------



## buggles

We went out for a curry last night with a close couple friends of ours, we go on holiday together, go to the pub a lot. She was not drinking (she normally drinks a lot) and they were very smily and cuddly. I felt sick and drank too much in compensation and didnt have fun and couldn't stop thinking about it. Waiting now for 'the announcement'. Could sob.


----------



## sarevz87

soooo glad I'm not on my own with this one..
am sooooo sick of hearing about people who get pregnant by complete accident (OH younger sister at 16 who gave us a very gorgeous nephew whom we didn't enjoy fully as had 1st misscarriage when he was about 4 weeks old) or friends who really and truly don't deserve the children they've been blessed with because they would rather go out at the weekend and therefore dump their children with whom ever is available...
Add to this the fact people say the most stupid things to you alto have already been mentioned e.g as soon as you stop trying it will happen after 7 years of trying and 4 early stage msc how do you stop trying or relax or all the other rubbish they tell you? 
Hard when so many people in your every day life have no idea what so ever about what we all go through and the effects it has on aspects of daily life


----------



## twinkle81

hello ladies,

im glad ive meet a few others who know and understand how im feeling, past 6 days ive had 4 women tell me they are pregnant, the latest being a close friend a few hours ago, i cried all the way home and for another 30 minutes when i got back.  Poured myself a glass of wine now which i know isnt the answer but i just cant cope with so many pregancy announcements at once.  im feeling really sorry for myself and know this feeling will past but sometimes it just isnt fair xx


----------



## lily1980

It is so reassuring to know that other people feel the same way.  I'm just in from a lovely dinner with my best friend who told me that her sister is pregnant and it was unplanned.  I plastered a big smile on my face but a bit of my heart broke and as soon as I got home I burst into tears.  We can't even start trying again right now as I'm recovering from a gynae op so another 6 weeks but I am still so frightened things won't be better.  I'm not sure how I am going to deal with this as the 3 of us are all good friends and I just want to distance myself.  I was half considering telling my best friend about our problems but don't think I can now as it would feel like I'm raining on their parade at a time when they will want to talk about it.  

My DH is away for the night too so not even got him for a cuddle   although I always find support on this site from hearing other people's stories and successes xxx


----------

