# Disillusioned Part 2



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

New home for you lovely ladies 

Happy chatting....................


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls

Well what can I say we have made to a new thread!!!

Well what can I say... my firework party turned out to be a surprise 30th for me!!  It was amazing so many people came and from all over the country too.

I'll tell you about it later MIL just turned up and Im in my PJ's!

Back later Xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Oooh how lovely Laura, a surprise party!








HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY!!! 









Love
Tracy
xx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

WELCOME TO OUR NEW HOME KT AND LAURA.  

Happy 30th Laura - lovely surprise!      Glad you're relaxing in your pj's still into the afternoon.

How ya doin KT - fantastic news there's no more brown stuff. The pains must be beany growing eh? Yes, I am going mad and that's official - I'm just sooooo desperate for it to work and sooooo scared it hasn't. Into the 2nd half of my 2ww tomorrow.

Went to the seaside today. Walked along the dunes and took in lots of fresh air - should sleep well tonight!

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hay Girls,

KT - where are you?  everything ok?

Tracy - Thank you!!  I'm getting old a! 

Lily - yeah only a week to go !!  Its going to be a tough week my dear but I feeling positive about your end result. XX

Well I just thought I'd let you know I'm not about for the next day or so, off work as we are going to go somewhere nice, not sure of the plan but I won't be at home on the lap top!

I'll text you both how I get on at the hospital though.

I'm watching planet earth... wow!  Its great I love penguins!!

Night girlies! XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Let us know how you get on tomorrow KT. Good luck for your scan too Laura (in case you don't log on again). Glad you're feeling positive about me - I hope with all my might that your intuition is right   Hope you enjoy your break away (yummy I used to like them  ).

Bye for now, Lily. Not really in the real world anymore as she enters her 2nd week. Can't concentrate on anything much to DH's frustration. I apparently keep saying yes and then asking what he asked?!? OK going to forget now, all about the fact I might be pregnant


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

Sorry that I have not been around all day. Parents over for lunch and then after they left I became so so so tired and napped. Then dh got a dvd (pretty persuasion or something) which was pants x 100 and now is the first time I have powered up the little grey box. Forgiven??

Laura - now wasn't that a lovely surprise!!!!! You had no idea Only 1 problem....where was mine and Lily's invite (lol). Was it a great night?? Bet it was! Do you have any idea where you will be off to this week?? So jealous, would love a couple of days away. Please please remember to text. when is the scan How do your ovaries feel Any cm (you don't have to answer the last one!!!).

Lily - your walk sounds fantastic and, although it is nippy, it is really fresh out so perfect wether for ambling. How are you feeling besides mad This is so tough for you but it will be worth it and I have good vibes also. Can you believe you are in week 2!!! I was saying to my mother tonight that the weeks are going by so slowly it is pathetic but your first week has flown by for me. How wierd is that!!??!!

All has been well today. No more brown but as I am having the probe again tomorrow expect frantic on tuesday and then remind me please!!! I am really excited to see pip tomorrow but hate the thought of more ivig. However it is academic to me now...I have to do what I have to do...end of. Pip has been giving me a face like an acne prone teenager so tonight we had words and I asked him/her to spread the symptoms out a bit and maybe throw me nausea or bb pain rather than gigantic facial craters! We'll see!

Thanks to Tracy for our new thread....cannot believe we have graduated to thread 2!!!! Do we chat or do we chat!!! Thanks again Tracy - and good luck with your matching!!

Oh well - time to sign off - 

hugs, Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Of course you're forgiven KT - how can we be cross with Capt'n?

Acne sounds good news - hormones all over the place - things are progressing well. I'm glad my 1st wk has gone fast for you! I am going crazy. I think it's made worse by the fact I'm only having a urine test at the clinic and so the wait is so long (19 days post EC - another 9 days!!!!).

I'm very fed up but looking forward to news of your two's scans.

Lots of love Lily. xx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi you two. How are you both doing? Thanks for the text messages. Lovely to hear from you. It takes me ages to write them   I was soooo amazed with the speed of your reply KT!

I'm still fed up. Bowels are overactive - pessary trouble as I always had such a well behaved GIT before now. Acid too (could be too much pickle at lunch  ). Plus a pain that hurts even more when I press on right of womb area (not ovary). Hope it's good news. Started today 7 days post ET.

Love Lily. Feeling totally brainless now.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well well Lily....uterine pains eh!!! This is implantation time so try not to press too much and don't jiggle!!! The acid is  good sign....one of the first I got during the 2ww was heartburn (althoug progesterone does relax the stomach and bowel). I hate the pessaries also....I have been using the confounded things for 5 weeks now and my poor GIT is shot to pieces. I suffered from IBS before and this is not helping....but what pip wants.....

Laura - I know you may not be checking in as you might be away but, just in case curiosity gets the better of you, HI!!!
I hope that you are feeling a little better after your bad morning. I know how that must have been and I wish you had better news. I tried to drop you into the conversation with my Dr to see what his thoughts were but he is really hard to get going conversationally. There were mumbles however from the nurse that your doses need to be upped a fair bit and I think that could be the answer. Did your clinic call you with higher levels Did they do bloods today

Well you both know my news so I won't bore you again. In short, Dr said that staying pg would be my hardest task and that I will most likely have a prem baby but that he will treat me with plasma upto 30ish weeks (maybe every 2 weeks). I will just take every day as it comes and hope that God shines favourably on us this time. So far we have hit 7 weeks and each day is like 100 hours so to get to 30 weeks will be forever!!! Help!!!!!

Catch up tomorrow

Katey xxx (& pip)


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Evening Katey and Laura if you're out there!

Roll on more acid and uterine pains - KT has made me smile for the first time today!!!   

Your dr sounds very pragmatic. Seems to be looking after you and pip well. I was just wondering, did you say it's £1200 each shot and you've got to have them every 2 weeks for the next 24? Blimey girl, I've gone a bit hot round the collar. Perhaps I'm wrong - I do hope so for your sake.

BFN Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

You are wrong...it's £1500 every 2 weeks and £600 more to do a blood test to find out if it is working! 

As for hot under the collar.......

Glad I got you to smile!! Made my day!

KT xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

I just fainted....

Why £600 for a blood test Do they send it to Japan? Is your gp helping?

Just watched Magdalene Sisters - blimey what went on in the Madalene laundry convents in the 60's - so awfully sad. Girls in there for even looking at boys or for being raped. What about the boys involved? - went to the pub I suppose . What with that and then watching 'the pianist' the other night - I could do with a bit more of a lighthearted adventure. 'The pianist' made me jump so much I thought the embryos were going to fly across the room.

BFN, Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Sorry not posted, I didn't go away I've been too upset.  I have had my meds upped to 375.. not much difference.  No pains or Cm.  I know it will be no different tom when I go.  I have to get straight back to work for an adult protection meeting I realy can't not turn up.  Not sure how I will manage.  I guess I just will have to.

So the nurse called and my bloods came back sayin not much is happening.  I have the option tom if nothing has changed to stop and start again but pay for my drugs.  What do you think?

I'm not sure if I can buy the drugs and carry on stimming for another week?  I will ask.  But its looking like it won't be  a hatrick for us... well not this year anyway.

Love miserable laura. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh Laura, Laura  . They won't want to up the dose in too huge a stage as they won't want lots of follies growing too fast. Considering the problems you've had though, ie thinking you didn't take in enough etc, it might be worth restarting. Is this an NHS go? How many do you get? You could wait until tomorrow and reassess if there still aren't any follies. Don't worry about your bloods, mine weren't high until just before EC as it's the follies that pump the hormone out. Don't worry about the cm either, not everyone gets it and I didn't until a couple of days before EC and I never got any pains. Shame about the meeting - you need some serious ME time.

How are you KT? Hope you feel ok after yesterday. Are you busy working?

I've been busy outside, then came in to do some paperwork (as you can see   - not worried as I often do some in evenings when I seem to be able to concentrate better).

Felt ravenous at lunch today, made a big salad, but as soon as I took the first mouthful I couldn't eat it. I've put it in fridge for tomorrow. However, I'm now all swollen and can't do my trousers up! I know it's the pessaries causing hassle. Blooming things. Keep going from +ve to -ve. Very confused and scared.

Lots of love, Lily.


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Lily

I watched magdelane sistera a few years back... great film if I remember.

Just read back the posts  - you fainted??  thats a good sign I think??  Although quite early days.. sure you eating enough??  You maybe eating for 3 remember!

Katey - are you a millionaire??  You have to pay 2k everyother week??  Theres me moaning about the price of IVF!

Anyway Tim wants to go do birthday things so trying to be positive and cheery... bloody hard!

Tim is dead upset too, he never really knows what to do in these situations.

XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

No Laura I didn't really faint   : it was to show how stunned I was at the price KT said she was paying. I still can't get my head round it. Where are you KT - we're missing you?

Glad Tim is taking you out. Also, don't worry about the hatrick thing as a) I haven't got there yet and b) even if you restart in the new year, KT and I'll still be here supporting you.

DH is cooking dinner b4 we go out. For the first time I couldn't face it. I don't exactly feel nauseous, but like I've just got off the waltzers (I don't like them much). Anyway, hope I can eat what he cooks .

Worried now as my auntie just visited and I laughed so much for about one hour that I'm worried about the embies. It was DH's first comment when she left and I'm in a panic now. Do you think I could laugh so much (I was in tears) that I could ruin my chances? My womb aches now and I've got some cm appearing. AF would be due tomorrow if I wasn't on the pessaries.

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I think laughing is the best thing for embies... they will be settling into their nice relaxed womb as we speak.  Hope you keep your dinner down.

Oh glad yu didn't faint... I know what you mean Katey must be a millionaire (not for long though!!).

XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey girls

Laura - the jury is still out for me regarding what I think you should do. On one hand you need to give each treatment the very best you can to increase success but after all that sniffing etc it seems a real shame to me that you need to start again.
Plus - and excuse me if I start to rant here - i'm a bit peeved that they have suggested payment for drugs when it is clear to me that they did not do the best for you. IMO (humble as it is) they have thrown a generic dose at you without taking into consideration your ovary test result and then ignored you for 1 whole week before scanning or doing bloods and now that their generic approach has not been successful (yet) they are chucking it in and offering you more cycles. Further, they have upped your dose to 375 and there has been no word of monitoring you to see if you need more or less. I'm just not happy about it. I think you should kick ass tomorrow.

Sorry about that but it makes me so mad.

Plus we will have our hat trick and we will all be mums. it may take a bit longer that we all hoped but as long as we get it does that matter?? Lovely Laura, you will be a wonderful mum and all this cr** will be behind you. 

Lily - I have to say that you are sounding more and more like how I felt!!! I am not going to say too much just in case but it definitely looks good honey!!! Any headaches? Dizziness

As for the blood test....it is going to Chicago to be tested. I think it is a rip as well but they have you over a barrel - I want this baby and they know it. That said, my dr is a business man but he is also a fantastic dr so I guess I have to find the cash (can either of you accompany me on the guitar when I sing in Oxford St outside the tube).

I spotted again today - only the size of a penny and brown and it has since ceased. But I am nervous wreck over it. I did have the probe yesterday so maybe that was it. Who knows.

BUT I did get a degree of nausea today and then a need for meat and rhubarb crumble (not together!!). And I slept all afternoon because Robin is fretting about the spotting and so he makes me lie down all the time. That will stress me more but he is not listening!

I also researched the whole embryo measuring crown to rump thing and discovered that the measurments from the tv scan can be +/- 3 to 5 days so I am stressing less about that too.

Have I bored you enough yet

Hugs & more hugs

Katey & Pip xxx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

oh and I forgot to say and official ff's:

   HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh katey  - If only you wee in London tomorrow I could drag you to the appointment, yeah I feel they just prescribed me whatever and not really looked into things properly.  But in my contract is does say an abandoned cycle (no matter who's fault) is a cycle and I'm not entitled to another so don't want to **** them off and then not even get another cycle.

Anyway we are off out for some grub.  I've not even taken my PNV for last 2 days and I had some wine yesterday.. I've given up.  

XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Don't give up - never give up!! 

It will work out, I promise.

KT

ps where's lily


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

LILY - where are you??

KT - take care sure the spotting was just from the probe but I agree you should rest up anyway. XX

I'll text you both tom . XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies - we're back. We went to a folk concert - it was lovely and soul restoring: a lady from New York. Awful journey, only about 40 mins, but I got so hot and then felt sick and then asked DH what on earth the smell was (it was like a really cheap car air freshener and it was doing my head in). DH reckoned he couldn't smell anything  but it made my head feel like it was going to burst. I just wanted to cry and go to sleep. Anyway felt better after the concert (nice lady behind bar gave me 2 x pints of water), then on journey home I couldn't smell a thing. I did feel better after dinner, but now feel like I've been on the waltzers again. I think I'm going completely mad!!

Katey - as for your brown blotch - you know it's the probe! Good news about the nausea and crown/rump measurement. Let us know when you want to busk: I'm really good on the tambourine! I agree with what you said about Laura's drugs - I hadn't thought about that clearly enough.

Laura - maybe you could speak to your gp about the drugs and explain what went wrong. The first time is such an experiment.

Night night. Love Lily. xx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Ladies,
Laura how'd it go?

I'm worried. I woke up in night at 5am and had bad pains all over tummy. I was sure there was going to be blood, but there wasn't - obviously the pessaries are keeping it in, otherwise it'd be there (AF due today). Pain got better. Today I just popped to shops and had to strip off in queue as I got so hot, then pains started again, it's like I'm gonna get diarrhoea, but my bowels are empty.  

Also I read that it seems common for people with a bfp to get a really firm tummy feeling, one lady said it was like waking up after a night of doing sit ups. Did you feel this Katey? I'm just hurting, it's far from feeling like a washer board and the aches come in waves. I had to undo my trousers last night as I was so swollen. I'm worried now. Can't test for ages yet! It's 9 days post transfer (12 post EC).

Sorry for the me post. I'm really sad and scared and want to know if it's bad news: I was so hopeful.
Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily - you have to sit tight i'm afraid as pain can be good (i got loads of it) and not so good. Nothing but the test will let you know. Not sure wht you have to wait so many days for a urine test. I got a pos urine at 12dpt. I know that urine takes longer but 16 dpt??
I never got the sit up thing or a tight stomach (havn't had that for years!!!) I got pinching that went from middle and sometines out as far as my hip bones and an af like ache. It was like I was carrying a lobster!!!
I also got headaches and dizziness - oh the dizziness!
We are all different.

I am off for a snooze now as I feel exhausted today.

Hugs

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

OK KT   

I've just had a sleep - but phone woke me. Thanks for writing. I'll try and sleep some more. I'm tired and sad.

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily - Why sad You could be going through implantation as we speak!!! Keep the faith!!

Laura - you feeling any better after today

I have a question....is it possible to feel sick as hell - I like Lily's comparrison toa waltzer as it is perfect - and still want to eat?? How odd is that

KT


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT,
Not sure why I'm sad. I think I'm exhausted from worry. One min I think it's worked, the next I don't. I really need it to work. I said to DH this am, I think blood is coming (I felt damp) and he said it'd better bl**dy not!

Yes 'sick as hell' is an acceptable term. Are you able to eat easily? I'm waltzering, then feeling hungry but when the food is in front of me I can't swallow it. My tummy feels so full and I'm not eating much. Managed some soup for lunch and I even had to force that down. I'm whirlingly tired and fed up.

How's Laura? Maybe she can perk us up?
Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

Laura had a pants day - i'll let her explain. Where is she now I wonder?

I know that you want it to work - you'd be strange if you did not - and that kind of worry is enough to drive you mad (I know). But what can we achieve from stress except a horrid environment for an embryo I do think that stress can cause all sorts of problems so we must try to be positive (trust me I hate spouting that rubbish because I am tired of hearing it from other people but unfortunately it is right). So enjoy being pg right here right now and if things do not go well then we can stress and try again.

Anyway you sound like you are moving in the right direction (big smiley face)

Hugs
Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Hay Lily -      come on my lovely think positive!!  Please don't be sad!!  When is test day... I must admit your 2ww seems to be lasting for years!!!  Did you get my text today?? X

Katey - all quiet on the katey front... we don't need any news from you KT til your next scan, when will that be?

Got it in a nutshell Katey - pants day.

Not only did I have all the palarva at the hospital but i then went on to a meeting where I wa shouted at for a good hour and a half... kept getting if you were a mother you'd understand!  like I needed that.  And the hospital called Tim and told him to continue with my current dose of injections and go back on fri for another scan??  When he told me there was no point carrying on or even tryong for another cycle?  I feel like I'm being slowly tortured, I can't face going back and seeing that man again.  Apparently he made one of the nurses cry too.

I'm so tired and I have a terrible belly ache.

KT think me and Lily need some of your positive thinking vibes....  think w take it in turns. XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - well that was just hat you needed...not!

Maybe you are continuing because the other consultant said so and not your crappy dr. I say go for it and see on Friday - at least they are monitoring you now.

I'm ok but stil seeing brown every now and then which I DO NOT WANT! Please brown go away!

KT xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

BROWN GO AWAY!!!!!!! AND DONT COME BACK!!!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

No Laura, I got no text   I was expecting you to be drunk by now.   Explain?

This is for the brown KT's seeing      and if you don't you'll get this   from me and this   from Laura.

Feeling a bit better after I ate some tea, although very swollen and heavy. I'm not used to testing at all (AF has always arrived before now), but I have decided to test sometime this weekend. The injected hcg has definately gone so we'll see. I feel better for deciding.

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oooh what day this w/e? You will be 12dpt on Sat I am feeling a tad excited but you must do what you think is right for you.

Can't sit still now!!

Glad to say that both your threats to 'The Brown' have worked so far. Thank you. Scared me!!!

Catch you later...KT xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

If I'm feeling brave enough - maybe Saturday, but the last thing I need right now is a false -ve. However, I figure if the symptoms I'm getting are hcg related then there should be enough to show. Otherwise I'll know it's all down to the cyclogest. Depends how much water I drink and whether I have to get up in the night. I'm a real scaredy cat when it comes down to these tests. Fingers crossed with all your mights!

Hope you're both ok.
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls.

I been a bit naughty, I just emailed my boss and told him I'm taking leave tomorrow.. I was in the office with him at the time, had my stuff packed and legged it!!  Very naughty, I just couldn't face talking to him to be honest.. coward I know, he knows I'm going through this and just said I have appointment tom were they are cancelling my cycle and can't face coming in.. sure he'll be fine (if I'm sacked I don't care o be honest).

I'm now not back to work til tuesday, sad I am meant to be off all next week recovering from EC but looks like that won't happen now. 

Feeling rubbish and crappy, so tired too.  Not feeling owt going on in my tum and no more cm.. sorry tmi.  I know its over and I'm more nervous of seeing that dr again than of the results. Why is this happening to me?  I'm a nice person honest?  Tim is coming with me tomorrow thank god.

Lily - oh saturday is the day a!!  So excited for you  I'm feeling really positive vibes.  I did text you, not ure why it didn't come through to you?  I got your text this am, not replied as been non-stop at work today.

Katey - Glad been no more brown, any major symptoms at the moment?  My Sister got terrible ache with her son and not her daughter... so maybe its a boy?

Anyway love to you both... I am at least going to be a cyber aunty if nothing else next yr! XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Laura! Good on you for taking leave! Strangely the text came through today, not yesterday. Really sorry to hear the news, but at least you know that next time, with the proper dose from the start you can achieve some follies. Regarding your dr, can't you change clinic for the next try and take the info you've learned with you, ie dose rates that you need. Does your gp/pct have a list of clinics they are happy for you to choose from?

Evenin' KT - Hope you're ok, and feeling sickly  .

I feel a bit different today - not quite so bad, so I'm worried this is bad news. Couldn't eat tea though (not sure if it was me, or what we had). DH cooked it so I think I upset him a bit (baked cod with an onion topping, which was a bit too slippery to swallow and steamed veg that went cold quick and I just couldn't get down. Managed some yoghurt). I think I'm more off food from insurmountable worry! I'm so scared and know there's nothing anyone can say to help. You know I'm really not going to cope well if this hasn't worked!   I'm hoping the pessaries are making me particularly down  .

Lots of love and hugs, Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura you will be a mummy too, it will happen. Trust me...I am a living example of good things come eventually. If we have this baby then I am convinced that everyone has a good shot. I am still in disbelief. Your boss will be ok especially if you are not taking leave next week. Tim should put that smarmy Dr back in his box - take no *hi*!!! After what hospitals have put you through they should be grovelling at your feet not giving you attitude.

Lily - a false -ive would be a bummer. Is there nowhere you can go for  blood test? Like a local bupa Ooh or those medicare places in London train stations. That would be the best. How do you feel today

I have finally met 'morning sickness'. It is actually all day, but especially evening, sickness and I cannot find a thing to eat that is good for me. All I want are boiled cherry drops. I am happy to suffer this if it means that Pea is alright but, oh, it is pants!! It is just like Lily said - waltzers!!!

I'm off for another cherry drop now. Catch you later. Laura is it tomorrow you go I think it is. Text please!!
Lily you cannot believe how much everything is crossed for you - cramp r' us, but you are so worth it!!

Hugs - KT xxx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oh lovely Lily - how I wish I could make you feel better. I know what you are feeling and so I also know that I cannot make you feel better with sentiments.

Let's hope for now and jump off the other bridge if we have to.

Cyber hug on its way...KT


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Yes KT tomorrow is d day for me.  I'm just happy i hvae the day off, I left my desk in a right old mess and just legged it.  O well.

Lily - you can buy preg tests that are extra sensitive, think they are clear blue and can pick up a positive 4 days before your AF is due so maybe go get one.. tesco sell them i think.

I just feeling tired and exhausted, being lazy on the sofa and tim is cooking my dinner.  I am so tired its unreal.  Sure its all the stres of the last week.  In fact i'm quite looking forward not thinking about IF for a few months, nice holiday, drunk for xmas.

KT - I'm not convinced I will be a mum to be honest, its not looking good and we don't have the £ to have lots of IVF and to be honest I don't think I could take it emotionally either, we will have another go but I think that would be it.  

Anyway nearly time for eastenders.. don't think I've seen it all week! Shock horror!!

XXX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Der der der der der der, der der, der der (Eastenders tune  ).

Yippee KT's feeling sick ALL day and Laura's having her dinner cooked.

About the testing - trouble is: I'm so wanting this to be real, I'm scared to be told otherwise. I'm currently hiding from the truth - head in sand and all that. If it's not +ve, I don't want to know. I'm happy pretending and I'm not missing anything apart from my sanity.

Love Lily.


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

lily - is your test day wednesday?  According to your tcker it is?  You shouldn't test sat, don't test til monday at least. XX  I know it ill be a huge disappointment if its not positive, but theres a great chance that it will be.  Senidng you big squishy hugs. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thought you were watching Eastenders Laura? Glad you came back. My clinic want me to test Wednesday (16 days post transfer), I presume because they don't want any false -ve's. But KT has pointed out she got a +ve 12 days post transfer after a day 2 embryo. So I figured, maybe I could as mine was a day 3. Saturday is day 12 for me too. I might not test yet, but would prefer to do one this weekend, when I'm not having to face staff.

Decisions, decisions, I can't cope and DH is leaving it up to me - GREAT!

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oh Lily you make me smile. I too wanted to know but the thought of testing filled me with fear because it had such finality. It was a case of f'rustrated ignorance is bliss'!!! 

I only did the hpt because we were having the blood test that day and I wanted to take the control back. I am not sure what I expected to happen. I remember sitting on the loo with a stick in one hand and a pot of wee in the other and I flinched and procrastinated and then just took a deep breath and dipped! It musy have looked quite comical! My bhcg was 90 something that day so it was bound to show but it may not have been. 

That girl I told you about at work got a bfn with a test that measured 50 iu hcg and her blood test showed over 100. So either she messed up the test (quite possible) or we have to be wary of them.

You'll do what is right for you.

Laura - I hope you take some time out and chill over the next few days. How long do you think you will leave ttc for?? Can you, like Lily suggested, seek a new dr?? or clinic The money thing is a nightmare - I know!!! - we have had to re mortgage and that scares me to death. The things we do!!!

If he gives you any hassle tomorrow get Tim to give him what for!!!

Eastenders is getting worse and worse. I am not sure why I am so angry with Honey but she is driving me mad....but not as much as Ruby does!

Well off to nod land for me and Pea.

Nighty night....KT xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT - how's the sickness? Your ticker's moving along nicely mummy!

Hope Tim's sorted that consultant out!

I was happy this morning when I woke up as my boobs were as big as they were last night - unusual for me. Probably means just the progesterone from the pessaries, but it's made me happier today and hopefully better to live with....

DH is building a rockery - I'd better go make him some lunch so he can come in and get warm. I had a walk across the fields earlier - nippy but nice.

Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

I'm a bit of a mess.    Not sure what I am going to do about things.  We had a different consultant and he was very nice, he took alot of time talking to us and gave us the option of continuing until Monday and having another scan or starting again.  I had 3 follies but although they had grown they were still small and there was no guarentee that they would grow or have an egg in them.  We decided to call it a day. I'm so exhausted but I can't sleep.  I had a cup of proper coffee and now have a banging head to add to the rest of my problems.

Anyway enough of me...

Lily - you def testing tom? XX
Katey - hopw your feeling sick! XX

Love to you both. XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi girls

Laura - I am sorry your day was rubbish....or maybe it wasn't because now you and your consultants understand the Laura uterus so much better than before and next time mistakes can be avoided. I know that you were building yourself up and it is such a lt down when the roller coaster ends early but look on the bright side:
1) You can drink coffee, banging head or not
2) You can drink alcohol - and trust me, even from a non drinker like me, that makes for a better xmas
3) You can eat chocolate and nuts - as above
4) You can enjoy rumpy pumpy without fear of quads and it will be a pleasure not a task
5) You can get your body and mind ready for the next cycle because now you know what to expect and what demads it makes of you emotionally and physically
6) You are an injection free zone
7) you can step away from the madness and all encompassing nightmare that is ttc or staying pg for a few weeks

I could go on and on!!!!! Somebody stop me!!!

Have they decided on a poa for next time

Lily - Hope you are not walking too much!!!! How are the boobs tonight? Are you still on for tomorrow or waiting until Monday Or unsure and waiting to see when the mood takes you?

I'm ok. Nothing much to report. Had a lazy day in terry towelling joggers which, although very unbecoming from a fashion perspective, was just what I needed. Nausea teetering on the edge right now. Hope it holds off until after my roast chicken and carrot/swede mash...mmmm....not sure it will!!!

I have a management training day tomorrow nd I would rather eat my feet. Blah!

Hugs, Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I know, it not the now that is terrible its thinking of the future that is making me so sad.  I spoke to the nurse this afternoon and she will take my case to the clinical meeting on monday and get back to me as to what they want me to do.  She said they may want to do more tests or they may decide a plan and just send me the px and I just call when I'm ready to start, or they may have me in for a consultation if there are a choice of options.  

My head still hurts, tim wants to go to the flicks to see borat?  I don't think I can face it although maybe it will be a good distraction.  

Just to add insult to injury I have tons of CM!! 

Head is still banging 

Love to you both. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Well done KT for sorting out the pros for Laura. This cycle really hasn't gone right for you Laura, especially with the problem you had with the injector pen. However, it has been a good cycle to show the clinic what you need in order to respond. Although I can understand you are absolutely gutted, I think it's the best thing and with the next cycle not only will they be forearmed with info, but you will be too. Main thing is now, to have some serious chill out, reminding yourself that you've progressed a lot in the last few weeks, albeit taken a side step for a while. If you imagine you're on a train, and your destination is Edinburgh, you've just stopped off for a while to look round York. Just hassle them if you don't hear from them soon, then you can get back on your train to Edinburgh   in no time.

OOH KT - Terry towelling joggers, they sound snug! Just what I could do with on this cold winter night. Hope you enjoyed the grub. I didn't walk too far. I just can't stay inside for more than 3 hours at a time (something I've learned on this crazy 2ww).

Off for my grub now. Had a lot of pains this afternoon which spooked me out. I'm hurting a lot when I need a wee. Sometimes I find it hard to walk to the loo. I'm drinking lots and lots so I don't think I've an infection. Maybe the walking's irritated my womb after the poking about?

Bye for now, lots of love, Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - what is it about the future that is scaring you - exactly 

Lily - I know what you mean .... I go stir crazy in my house but robin is strapping me to the sofa!!! My dinner did not go well...unfortunately the nausea got to me before the plate. It is really wierd though - you feel sea sick but have no problem eating, let's say, chicken, but put a potato into the equation and it's NO WAY JOSE!! Funny.

I feel pants tonight - partly physically and partly for Laura. 
New day tomorrow

KT


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

We went to the flicks and saw Borat... not very funny and the place was full of teenagers! grr!  

My sister has been on phone offering her eggs!  Bless her.  What I hate most is only having bad news to tell people.  I hate making other people so sad.  My aunty is in hospital having tests as well at the moment, she has lumps come up everywhere and has just had her lymph (?) nodes removed, everyone is thinking cancer, and it looks like it has spread.  My mum is devastated over it and it not been long since her brother died, which she hasn't come to terms with either.

The ladies on the barts thread are emailig me so stuff about poor responders and different drugs that they can take etc.  So starting to prepare already for round two!  Us ladies are pretty amazing how we get knocked down and pretty much instantly pick ourselves back up!  

Lily - ladies on the barts were saying today day 3 transfers have the same success rates as blasts!    Are we testing tom?

Katey - what I'm scared of is NEVER having a baby... which seems very possible at the moment.  I don't think adoption is an option for me and I don't think my body is playing ball and it can't be fixed.  Please don't be sad for me Katey... I've had caffeine, alcohol and chocolate. XXX


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily - any news honey? XXX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks for asking Laura.
I'm not sure exactly what to say as I'm really nervous.

I woke up last night at 3:30am and wanted to test, then the rational part of my brain kicked in and said don't be silly, you've been asleep 3.5hrs and drank 3 pints of water between evening meal and bed. Probably because of that I knew I had a good excuse if it went pear shaped.

Did the test the clinic gave me pipetting 3 drops etc, and control line came up. Despite no ther line, I felt ok for the above reasons. Washed hands and went to ask DH not to be upset if there's nothing as it's only 12dpt and may be dilute, he said "But I was so sure it would show up". Went back to the test and there was a very faint pink line. I was very shocked. I've never seen one before and to be honest had to hold it up to the light and squint. The kit said if there's low amounts of hcg it may appear a little later. I got DH's specs, put on his reading light and showed him and amazingly he saw it too (I hadn't gone completely mad).

You may be wondering why I'm not ecstatic. Well:
a) I'm worried it's still remnants of the hcg I injected.
b) It didn't show immediately.
c) I keep getting lots of keeling over pains which I'm worried about.
d) Clinic wanted me to wait another 5 days, so maybe it's not real.
e) It's so faint it's hardly there.

I'm going to test again tomorrow and Monday.

Thanks ever so much for asking, Laura, especially after what you've been through the last few weeks and days. I so can't wait to be asking you the same thing.  

Hi KT  
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Fab news Lily, I think a faint line still counts as a line honey!!

                   

Congratualtions!! Early days I know but sounding promising!!

he he made me laugh with drinking all the water etc!!

Relax and enjoy it honey.

Hi KT 

XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thank you Laura, you really are smashing! Especially as this is only going to add to your sadness at the moment. However, I've always felt with other close FF pals, more upset when they've suddenly stopped pm'ing after getting a +ve, rather than sharing it. I really am looking forward to your next IVF go, as I really have faith that with what's been learned this go, that you'll get there and you're going to make such a wonderful mummy! For the last 2 years, I've regularly seen a counsellor as I've been in some very dark places, absolutely petrified nothing was ever going to work, but if it has worked after 5 horrendous years of setbacks (the absolute worst time in my life), then I will be eternally grateful. DH has 98% antibodies (we found out a few weeks ago), so basically all our trying for the last 5 years, even when on Menopur was a waste of time, as we still had to have sex once I ovulated and we now know his sperm would never make it. His count's real low too, but thankfully we only needed 4 for ICSI.

When will you hear from the clinic as to the next step?

Hi again KT!
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Honey,

I only feel happyness for you and KT thats the honest truth.  Yes I'm in the bottom of a dark hole at the moment but surrounding myself with rays of sunshime will only help me see my way quicker.

I use the Ectopic message boards too, but it can be such a depresing place sometimes, I think eps reduce your chances as they cause so much damage.. so its nice to see sometimes it does work.

I have decided to lower my expectations even further for my next cycle... to get to the appointment without getting hit by a truck!  At least then I won't be so disappointed!

I think both you and KT have well and truly earned your BFPs.  We have never even 'tried' to get preg.. 1st month got preg and then lost both tubes!  

Take care Lovely Lily


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh how exciting Lily!!!! I said it sounded good, I did, i did!!!! And Laura is right, a faint line is a line and false positives are like rocking horse poo!!!! Hurrah hurrah. Test with a first response if you can get your mits on one tomorrow. Stop worrying about pain - trust me you will have pain OFTEN when pg. 

I camnot believe I was not here until now....why did you not text me!!!!!!!! I was at a management training day - BORING!

3 cheers for Lily!!!

Lovely Laura - I know that fear, I do. Every time I got pg and m/c I used to say to my mum that it would never happen for me, I just felt it kind of. In fact, even though I am pg I still think it will all go wrong (ask Robin he is sick of me being pessimistic). The truth is some people will  not be successful with IVF but with time and patience and a good Dr  so much is achievable now - look at that 60 something yr old who reversed the menopause and had a baby recently.
I think you need to decide if your clinic is giving you the best treatment possible What drugs/treatments are available to you (for example I was having some drug, name escapes me, for 6 months if this cycle did not work because it is shown to get eggs ready for stims - i'll find out the name and info for you). Seeing as IVF is not something you'll want to do indefinately it pays to get it right if you can....I moved consultant 4 times before I felt good to go. Financially it is a drain also and it has left Robin and I financially on the edge so I am glad that, should this work, I got the right dr early on otherwise I would be forced to move into a tent.

Add all that to the trauma of your past experience and it is no wonder that you feel so low. It is a travesty that you were treated so badly and robbed of your tubes. It makes me so angry. I promise that we will all get through this together.

I am there for you 2 and I hope that you 2 will stay here with me....in fact I have deliberately not gone to another board because we made a pact to have a baby birthday party for our babies and we must see that through!! All for one and one for all. If it takes me to come to Barts and kick ass I will - & I know that Lily will be there too!!!

I'm rambling, I know...sorry. I just want to get you in a positive and fighting mood so that we can get you pg!

Shall I shut up now? Think so.

Lily - so pleased for you again!!!!!

Love, Kateyxxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

KT!

I knew you was on a course and was thinking of texting you LIly's news but thought that was too naughty!  Its Lily's news!

I won't pretend I'm not down at the moment, but I will be trying again after xmas, I guess then i will have to rethink everything.  But I'm gathering info on other med and I've written today to the head consultant about the confilicting advice/ info I have been given by consultants at BArts within the same week.  Aparently they are happy for you to be quite involved in choosing your drugs once you are paying for them so trying to get as much info as I can.

But for now I don't want to think about it.  I have been on the net looking for holidays.  Norway in December with Tim (his birthday) and then somewhere hot with my mate in jan, I am seeing her tonight to discuss.

So what if I don't have babies?  I can have endless holidays and eat out twice a week!  And I'm sure KT jnr and Lily jnr can come visit me in my old folks home when I smell of wee??!!

Take care my little pregnant friends.

P.s your welcome to head to the preg board... I post on the preg board on EPT as some buddies over there have been 'promoted', so don't worry I will continue to stalk you both no matter whre you post!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

At last Katey's back  ! And Laura - we're not going anywhere - unless you want to have a rest from us?

I didn't text KT, as I'm so nervous it's not real yet - it really was so faint! I'm not sure what I've got to announce yet, but couldn't fib to you two lovely cyber sisters about doing a test! So eventually after going for a walk with DH decided I better write about it.

Here's to the three of us and our babies! Roll on Laura's next stimming session. Have your lovely holidays - and then when you're feeling ready, get really sorted for your next go and investigate what other options you have. You really have such good chances with the right dr, especially with Tim's super sperm  .

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Anyway Ladies i'm off to my friends now armed with a bottle of wine and a dvd.. in need of some TLC.  Tim has gone away to his friends as he needs some 'space' he is not good when I am sad, and I enjoyed my day at home today.  Played with the bunny's and had lots of cuddles with the cat, surfed the net for holidays etc.

You ladies take care.
XXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I'm with Lily - not going anywhere! Sorry Laura!!

A holiday sounds like just the job! Where hot? I am scared to fly so we never go anywhere now. That is mad!!! I know that I am being a wuss but I just cannot do it anymore. I would love to go to NY xmas shopping and maybe to a xmas market  in Austria but too scared (and broke!!!).

Off for dinner. KT xxx

ps have a lovely night Laura and Lily, relax!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey KT, I was wondering how long you've had the flying fear? Mine started last year as IVF was imminent and I was soo scared I would crash just before I'd had chance to reach my dream. The fear's also not helped by all the havoc at the airports and terrorist warnings. We went to Loire Valley in August and it was such a palaver, I wondered if it was worth it, plus I was so petrified on take off and landing and kept thinking about the baby I still had to go for. Holiday was great, but went to Scotland on our last trip, so we could go by train. I've been looking in to the Christmas Markets too (Germany) but think if my current situation is going to continue, then I'm staying in England for a while. Have been considering the Eurostar - that's really good and your feet don't go above the clouds  ! To be honest, if we go anywhere in the next none months it will be because DH gets restless as I'd be happy here! If this IS for real, then I want for nothing anymore!

Hope you manage to take in the grub.... I really struggled just now and literally force fed myself (the plate only had half what it normally would have as it is). I'm finding raw leek the only thing I can take easily.

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

RAW LEEK?? Now I have heard it all! That is so funny!!

I started the fear at 34000 feet on the way back from mauritius (sp?) as I looked out of the wondow and realised I was in a tin can high up at the mercy of some bloke i'd never met and he was relying on technology that is not infallible.

The fear was cemented on 11/09 and not because of terrorism per se but the images that we watched over and over. It was such a powerful thing to watch 2 planes meet their demise right in front of your eyes...you could almost count down to the ends of lives. That was so terrible that it messed badly with my head.

Like you I would def not fly now! We have used Eurostar and cruising because that's all I have now. 

As for the raw leek...well....what can I say!!!!!!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh I forgot raw leek and beetroot. Anything else I am really struggling with! Meat is ok but only to a limit and then I just can't take anymore. DH is loving it, all these 2nd helpings - thinks it's really funny  .

I was wondering, do you find your gastro symptoms worse by evening/night. My tummy (womb feels ok) feels raw and when I lean forward my chest hurts. Feel swollen tonight and windy  . If it's not +ve tomorrow, then these pessaries have got a blooming lot to answer for!

Goodnight. Hope your dvd was good Laura - what was it? After all the deep and meaningful ones we've been watching this 2ww, I hired Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - only managed to keep DH in the room without tying him to the sofa (nice thought) by the sudden occurence of unexpected characters eg Barabra Windsor and Benny Hill.

See you tomorrow.
Love Lily. xx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Ladies, ladies
We did another test and the BFP came up immediately with clearblue  . It's taken 5.5 years and a lot of sorrow and thinking it would NEVER happen, so I'm going to be very nervous until the scan and then until they're in their cots. Thank you for everything both of you. You've helped everything move along so much better than it would have done without you! We're a real good team. Next is Laura after her holidays!

Speak to you later, love Lily. xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Just crashing ladies to say.................................

CONGRATULATIONS LILY​
Fantastic news honey      

Love
Tracy
xx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks Tracy. You are welcome to crash anytime. Here have a seat, the others will be here soon  .

Love Lily. xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Thanks Lily honey









You must be feeling so excited and nervous at the same time Lily, it really is fantastic news

xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Lily - congratulations.. again!!

Film was cold mountain, was long but had jude law in so that kept me happy.  Was nice to relax and try not to think about stuff too much.

I'm feeling a bit strange today like I need to go and do something exciting rather than sit about and wait for stuff to happen.  But feel so exhausted i just want to curl up in my bed and cry.  To be honest I'm feeling a bit mental today.  

Gonna email my boss too apologise for legging it on Thursday.

Anyway I have to go the take the dvd back etc so will catch you ladies later... Hello Tracy too!!

XXxxx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

HI there! Oh lily I am so pleased!!!! I bet that clearblue made today the best ever!!! What happens now?? Do you go to the clinic immediately 6 weeks When? What? Where? How

I hate beetroot and I had no idea that Barbara Windsor was in Chitty Chitty!!! Must get my copy out and have a peek. I get really scared when the child catcher comes on - so does Robin, he told me!!!!

Laura - Jude Law is a cutie but a bit skinny I would like to bring him home and feed him!!
I think your boss will understand if you explain - can you explain? Anyway, seeing as you work so hard all of the time I think he/she can forgive one very slight misdemeanor (sp??). Have you decided on that holiday in Jan

I have to go to London tomorrow for a blood test and I am trying to get my Dr to do another scan - may have to beg and throw myself at his mercy. There are no depths to which i'd sink for a scan!!!!

Got to go and wash my hair now as I look like hell and then dh will get out the ghd's and get to work on it (he is good with my hair).

KT xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily - I'm guessing your scan won't be for 2 more weeks?
KT - your dr sounds lovely, I'm sure he'll understand you need to see your baby.  Where is it you 

Yeah i'm more a russel crowe girl I must admit but Jude was pleasant enough. ALthogh I do actually quite like the athletic men... my fave is Johnny Depp.  I would leave tim I think for him!!  Actually maybe i wouldn't a few yers aso I was hypmotised (?) and they made me do rude things with a blow up doll I believed to be Johnny and i gave him a knock back!!  Tim was so chuffed, it was the first girly holiday I'd been on after we got togther and I have it on video and he watched it!!

I don't like flying either but do short flights, I get claustrophbic, it not the crashing that bothers me funny enough!  I also don't like the environmental affects either.. we have not flown this yr.

We just had a take away - i know I know I'm being a complete pig! -  fortune cookie said prosperity will come in January??  Not that I believe them but maybe all this is meant to be.. I've had a crap year and so maybe its best treatment will be next year... (i know clutching at straws!!).

Anyway I emailed my boss, he'll prob email me back tom, I'll let you know what he says.

Clinic are calling tom to let me know what is happening next.

We just watched a dvd (another) and am drinking a lovely bottle of sparking pinot noir which i got for my birthday.  

Life could be alot worse, you just have to watch the news, so I'm trying to be grateful for what we have.

Love to you both XXX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
I'm puzzled what's the ghd's KT? I feel rather thick for asking as Laura's passed it by. Never mind I was always the question asker in class.

So none of us like flying - interesting. We like dvd's and we love food. However, I'm afraid we differ on men: I'm not keen on Russell, Jude or Johnny. In fact I can't think of a filmstar I really do swoon for. I'm more of a reality man, eg lecturer from Uni (I just could not concentrate on his classes).

Let us know what the clinic say Laura and where the hols are going to be.

And Katey, let us know how the blood test and scan go - I know you'll get your own way! 

Lots of love, Lilyxx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

You know, Laura, you could be right...new year, new baby. Last 2 years were bad for me and I hope that things would look up...so far so good. Things definitely happen for a reason and timing is all important - although I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why this worked now and not, let's say, 2 years ago. Maybe all will be revealed in due course.

I do have a theory....it is a bit mad but I like it!!! My theory is based on 1, 9 & 11 being lucky numbers for me. I was born 9/1 and dh was the 11th. He proposed 18/9 (1+8=9) and we got married 11/9/99 (bad date now but good at the time). Anyway, we started treatment in september (9th month) and it was embryo number 9 (& 10, but i'm going with 9 being the 'one') that implanted.

I'm sure there's loads more to it, such as divine intervention, but it was fun figuring it out!!

And i've been itching to tell you - but kept on forgetting - that they have brought out after 8 sweets now! every time I see the ad I think of you!!!

Lily - GHD's are hair straighteners. And do I need them!!!
I have to say that few film stars ring my bell but I could be tempted by George Clooney. He is ageing a wee bit but I would def not kick him out of bed!!

Anyway...off to bed. Night night my lovely ladies....Hugs, Katey xxx

ps will text if I get a scan


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I used to love george in ER.. he was heaven but if you watched it I was always a Carter girl.  I seem to be into older men these days, I have a bit of a thing for a man in the commissioning dept who I have been working with with, he must be 50!! What is wrong with me??

Me and tim have been looking on the net tonight for kittens, I have been thinking Norwegien Forest cat -  but can't find if they are an indoor or outdoor cat??  Prob won't get one but fun looking.

Anyway I've had bit too much to drink and should go to bed... no work tom though  

Good luck with the scan KT -  hope beany is pulsating away as she should be and grown a few more millimeters.

Lily - enjoy being pregnant - its new and exciting, cherish every moment honey. XX

Night Girls XX


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily - Oh nice ticker!!!  

Kt - hope all went well today

My boss emailed was short and sweet 'your sacked' only kidding!!  He said 'please Laura do not waste a moments thought on it' though that was pretty lovely.

Anyway I'm off to the shops. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hey Laura  I'm rather partial to the older man myself - always have been! Have the hospital contacted you yet? Sounds like you've a good boss.

Looking forward to your news KT!

You'll be surprised when I say I'm fed up but I am. I rang the clinic this morning to a) Let them know I've done a test, b) Find out if I still need to take them a urine sample in and c)To discuss whether the trouble I'm having is mild OHSS. Well I wish I hadn't rang. I was reminded it was an early test, but I could be cautiously optimistic that it's a correct +ve but that the only thing it shows is that the hcg is rising and I'm not pregnant until the scan confirms so. OK so I know there may not be a heartbeat! but what about well done for getting this far, so far so good. DH is down now as he doesn't think I'm pregnant now and that for some reason they're worrying me as they know something I don't or are surprised if I get any further. I feel like they are trying to break me in gently for a no heartbeat show. So much for trying to keep positive until it's confirmed - I was trying to! Feel like a pair of smelly socks now. I'm not pregnant afterall. Presumably more people than not don't see anything at the first scan?

Hope you have better news girls.
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! 

The reason they have been a bit 'moody' with you is you have been naughty and broken the rules!! Tut tut!! I would do the same!

There is a 75% chance that eveything is going to be fine... just  a 25% chance of miscarriage as in any pregnancy but just focus on the 75%!!  Remember there was only a 35% of getting preg with IVf and you've managed that! thats the biggest hurdle my love.

Oh feeling moody and emotional??  that sounds like pregnant to me!!!

Grrrrrrr!!  I'm so annoyed at them... where was your cheery 'oh congratulations'??

CONGRATULATIONS!!!  THE STICK SAYS YOUR PREGNANT!!!!!!! - I TRUST THE STICK!!!!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

P.S yes they called appointment is next tue at 2pm.  Think its with the senior consultant and she is meant to be very good!


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - glad that you are getting to see a better dr. What is it with you and kittens there will be no room for a baby!!! Are you going to watch Celebrity tonight? I am about wetting myself with excitement! Apparantly David Gest has already 'bedded' the footballers wives actress and mylene Klass is 'drawn' to him...freak! He is horrible!!!!!

ok sorry, got carried away there

Lily - I have never heard such tosh in all my life! So does that mean that in 'naturally conceived' pg women do not get excited until 12 weeks?? Of course they do. Don't you listen to them honey, you are pregnant, well and truly! There is always a risk of no h/b at 6 weeks, and 8 weeks and 12 weeks ........ but there is a higher chance that there will be one. I had a bfp and I was happy and then at 6 weeks I was happier and then at 8 weeks (well today) happier still but I will never be 100% relaxed - not ever!

So you rub your tum and speak to the baby and let it know that you love him/her because he/she is there and making your hcg rise! Tell the clinic to sod off!

I am hungry and between sea sickness so running for dinner now.

catch you later

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

You two are stars and make me laugh  . You certainly know how to paint a brighter picture and drag me off the floor.

Glad you've got your appointment Laura - soon through and with a more helpful person too.

KT - I presumed from your post you must have sent a text (sorry I didn't check it) - have just looked and really pleased with the news. Don't know why but I was waiting for your news when you came on here. Think my head's gone to pot.

Thanks for giving me some confidence back... 
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi

Lily - you feeling better now?

KT - No I doubt I'll be watching celebrity, I don't like them eating frogs and stuff makes me feel sick.. I will prob get all the gossip from Bev who I work with who is a addict to reality tv!

I have to go to work tom.   

I know I am an animal freak, I would have a farm if i could but remember I reisted the tempation when I was going through IVF to get a friend for my lonely cat.. now thats out the window cat get the cat.  I think I have picked one I'll see if I can post the link on here so you can have a nose.

Do you ladies love animals?  Got lots of lovely pets??

Anyway... eastenders!

XX


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

http://www.sylvamaine.catlovers.co.uk/kittens.htm

Ok... see if this works.. I like the little girl in the left hand bottom corner and tim likes the older boy in the right bottom corner.


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

I'm with you Laura, bottom left. Our dog died 3 years ago and we decided not to get another. It's not ideal here for animals, even though it's rural. Our business means we're open for access to lorries and vans and I don't like tying animals up. Many cats have been run over outside the house too as the vehicles go so fast.

Yes, I'm ok. I'd feel better if I was REALLY nauseous and weeing every 3 secs. I could say it's the confidence that's been knocked out of me, but I'm sure I'd want symptom confirmation anyway. Thankfully DH is happier too - it upset him a lot having the fragility of the situation discussed like that, when we both know deep down the possible problems that may occur.

Hope you enjoyed the tv KT - not sure what it's about? Don't forget Robert Winston tomorrow night.

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - I like Cleo!!! What a face, pretty as a pretty picture! I can see why you are hooked.

We have 2 dogs and 2 cats (so hardly any right to question you Laura!!). Lili is our Golden retriever, Whisper a choc lab, Freud & Figaro are our 2 cats. I cannot move for pets! I love them sooooooo much!

Lily - I'm not sure how you'll go regarding symptoms but my nausea did not kick in until 7 weeks and now it really really has! I do not wee any more than before. I get tired - but not to the point where I am falling asleep in the fridge whilst choosing dinner. We're al different but it may take a while before they hit home! (unless it's twins and then it is apparently worse!).
Please have faith in your little one(s).

Cannot believe neither of you watch Celebrity...gutted. Laura I was relying on you. Oh well.

Sorry I did not post my news on here I just did not want to bore you both a 2nd time. Quick re-cap: all ok, baby growing and heart beating. Please God I will say the same at my 12 week scan!

Off to take my million and one fertility drugs before bed....night....Katey (& Bean) xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well Tim is against the kitten, he thinks it will be too much with our IVf aswell, but I kind of think we can't stop everything for the IVF.  Tim is so confident, he said not sure 2 cats in the flat with the baby would be a good idea what bloody baby!!!

I was thinking about our hatrick earlier... maybe it is katey jnr and Lilies Twins!!!!  Maybe I'll have to work on my own hatrick next year?!

I don't know what to do about the kitten, maybe tim is right and I should focus on us not kittens... but I want one!!

I love chocolate labs! My friend has one called zorro.. he's lovely!

Anyway I'm off to bed now.. dreading work tom.  

Night girls X


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

No Laura! The hatrick is KT, me and YOU! regardless of how many's inside me (oh please let there be at least one in the right place). How long does it take to train a kitten? If you got one now, would it be toliet trained before you restart IVF after your hols?

Off to clinic tomorrow, for the nurse to tell me if I've got a +ve result (urine test only) and then instruct me when my scan will be. Have booked to see my Gp too, I'm hoping maybe she'll at least smile and take away a bit of medical gloom.

Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

The kitten will be litter trained when we can pick her up.. shes ready on the 3rd Dec.  But there are always accidents.. must admit girls are better than boys with accidents!  Men alway miss the bowl a!!   Tim still on on board with the kitten.. but we are literally passing then on Sunday as we visiting Tims sister so after he ahs seen her sure he'll be hooked too!

Oh exciting.. official stamp of pregnancy!!  And scan date!  Risk of ep will be so small.. it normally just those with dodgy pipes!!  Nothing wrong with yours so even if s/he/they floated up they would have floated back down to the right place I'm sure. XX

Mr Winston on tonight remember.. I'm still at work  

Speak soon. XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Ooh Lily's off to the baby hospital to book her scan!!! yippee!!! Hurrah!!! Yee hah!!! How excited must you be or are you like me......numb How are you feeling physically

I really must tell my GP.

Laura, will you stop with the hat trick malarky! As Lily says it is a 3 woman hat trick, not a baby hat trick (that would never have worked unless we all got singletons or all got twins - which would be a double hat trick and the odds are mad!!) so you have to get pg for us to qualify i'm afraid!

How was work today?? Boss ok

As for the kitten, I think that you are feeling maternal and hence the need for small paws. I know this because how else do you think we ended up with all of ours!!! The choc lab was the result of a m/c!!! So I get you completely.

The only problem really is a financial one in terms of insurance, vets, food, kennels etc - all double what you have now - but if that's not an issue then I say get that kitten and cuddle it! It will not interfere with the IVF and it may bring you comfort throughout the process. However...once pg, young lady, you are NOT to handle the litter tray!!!!

Can you believe that tonight Winston, Celebrity & Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares are all on at 9pm! What kind of TV trickery is that!!??!! Not a happy woman! Maybe I should take up knitting or reading...I seem to watch too much TV!

I feel a bit peaky now so i'm off for 40 winks.

Catch you later....Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

KT - Your at 8 weeks!!!!!!  I have to say that is a huge mile stone... well done you must now be feeling a tinsy winsy bit more confident?

I'm still at work and then got to visit my mate who has broke her hand.. not sure how she has done it but I'm going to open jars etc for her!!  So hope I will be home in time for TV!  

Boss was fine, he emailed me to say 'don't waste a moments though on it' yesterday and today has not mentioned it.. more becuase in the past he has spoken to me about things and I have burst into tears.. he is lovely but not good with tears!

ANyway I'm off home now.. well to my friends.. catch you al later.

Still not sure kitten is good idea... really want it but i know it won't be practicaljust before we go away.. although will keep Oscar company??  Oh I don't know, I have til sunday to decide!

Oh KT... you'll have to record something!! I'm so clever!


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

Hi Girls

Hope you dont mind me jumping in to say congratultions to Lily, i have been reading some of the threads as about to start my 1st ICSI soon, and i have been following Lilys diary.

Well done Lily also well done Katey, hope everything goes well for you both  

Laura, sorry to read that things did not go so well for you, fingerscrossed for 2007 for you, take care  

Luv to all
Myra


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Off to the land of nod now. Happy to say all programmes were recorded on sky + - thank heavens for technology.
What did you think of the Winston thing

Myra - Hi and thank you so much for your lovely words. I wish you the very best of luck also.

Night night amigas

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Myra - thanks for your kind words, they were lovely. Join us anytime! Really good luck with your ICSI.

Good news: KT's feeling peaky! Hope you're not a channel flicker and managed to concentrate on just one of the progs?

I think you should get the kitten Laura - if not I might myself!  

Off to bed now. Presume you watched Profs prog? I cried so much even from the beginning, when they were shouting the no of eggs they were getting. DH was not sure whether it was good timing or not.

Fingers crossed I've a +ve in the morning otherwise DH can take the sample himself.
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls

I thought I got through work really well today and then just checked my phone and someone from work and someone from an organisation that I work with both had texted asking if i wass ok and that I seemed really sad at work today!  Bugger!  So much for hiding my feelings.  Also went to see my friend and ended up blubbing at her as well.

Roll on weekend!!

KT - glad all your programmes got taped!
Lily - good luck tom... don't let anyone bring you down remember!
Myra - good luck with your cycle. 

As for the IVF prog wa a bit disappointed, that women wanting a girl! What must her boys feel like??

Anyway i'm off to bed too. Night night XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily - let us know what happens as soon as...ok??!!!

Hi Laura - Good morning!!! Hope you're doing good today. No shame in blubbing - do what feels right!

Hugs, Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Feeling rubbish.  I have had a rubbish day bunked off work early. Home now going to go to bed for a bit... feeling pits of depression setting in.... rescue me girls!!  Say some thing positive!

XXXXXXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

mmmm....something positive.....mmmm....we love ya!! (and, although patience is needed, I just KNOW that it will work for you...trust me, I am a nursery nurse!).

Lily - where are you

Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

for Laura - I love ya too!  

Sorry ladies, did another KT and went shopping  . Bought most of the Christmas presents I need.

Back to business:
Woke up at 5am with annoyance as I needed a wee and so did sample for nurse. Was worried that it was too dilute (it was very pale) and dipped my own test stick in before closing the lid! Thankfully a +ve and it showed before the control line too, so I was chuffed. Travelled an hr to hand it in, then she rang back and said it was +ve. However, get this girls, I'm having to work a bit harder before I get any rewards. Their policy is for another sample 3 days later (day 19 - or Saturday for me) . Thankfully they're allowing me to test and ring with results. However, another 3 days of wondering if something's going to go pear shaped, before I get a scan date . I asked her how many don't see a +ve 3 days later and she said it was very rare. I also asked out of say 10 ladies, how many don't see a heartbeat at the first scan. Her reply was that if there was no blood or other probs being reported 9.5 out of 10. Not sure why I've been frightened out of my wits the last 3 days then.

Must go, need some dinner. Back later. Hope your day was good KT. Really sorry yours has been pants Laura. I'm so looking forward to your clinic appointment - not long now!

Lots of love, Lily. xx


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## Myra (Feb 18, 2005)

Well done Lily,i am sure everything will go well for you  

Sorry you are feeling down Laura, hope that you feel better soon  

Hi, Katey, hope all is well with you


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks Myra,
KT and LAURA WHERE ARE YOU? I've been abandoned  . Was tv so good last night? 

Hope you're both ok. Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

Sorry Lily...I did not mean to be MIA but I have not been feeling great and so I just took some time out.

I have to say that your clinic is now officially driving me up the wall with their excessive use of pee sticks - have they bought into the pee stick industry on the side? If you don't bleed then why can they just not scan you at 6 weeks...are they short for electricity? I needed to get that off my chest.

I am glad, however, that they have put your mind at ease.....can I have their phone number??!! 

How are you feeling in yourself

Hi Laura - good day?

I have beenfeeling odd pains for 2 days now and it is freaking me out. It is like a toothache type pain in my bladder area with ocassional sharp twinges. And this morning I got a little brown but clear since. So now I am convinced it is all about to go wrong. I am back to London for more plasma tomorrow - although I am happy to report that my CD 56 KC has gone from 16 (should be no more than 12) to 4!!!! Hurrah!!! I have asked for another scan because I am anxious about the pains etc. I love seeing bean...wonder how much it would be to buy one of those things!!! What if I am right and he's gone I am so frightened again! Sorry.

Off for a hot ribena...Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

sorry had a long day at work... throwing myself in to keep myself sane.

KT - feet up and relax... we don't want anymore brown!  Maybe you have a water infection? I'll see if I can get you a little portable scan for chrimbo??XX

Lily - hope your not still peeing on sticks! I don't understand it, even if you had (which I'm sure you haven't) m/c then a pee stick would stay positive for 7-14 days anyway so whats the point  hink KT right, they must have shares in pee sticks!!

XXX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh Katey, Katey - you can come on here anytime you like and say how bad you're feeling - I really missed you    .

I appreciate how you must be sooo worried as it's impossible to know what the sharp twinges, toothache pain or brown is. All I know is, it's normal to have aches and twinges and brown's not a problem, just a lot of red. You have had some really good news about your CD 56 KC - that really is something to celebrate. All your effort is working. You must be so tired though, what with the pregnancy anyway plus all the trips you're having to make. You deserve some time out even if you were missed.

I reckon buying the scan's an excellent idea. In fact they should hire them out - maybe that's a good idea for a new business eh!? Imagine the bank loan for the initial investment!

I've been worrying about sharp stabbing pains myself, where I have to stop what I'm doing and then suddenly it's gone. DH has a look of sheer panic one minute, then thinks I've put it all on when I suddenly become normal again. To be honest I reckon it's bowels for me. Never had any trouble before, but put it down to cyclogest interference.

Any news from Laura? (UPDATED: HI LAURA - you posted same time).

Write soon. I'm so pleased you're off for a scan tomorrow - that'll really help.

Lots of love, Lily.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey!

Laura, you are right, even if the worst happened (& it won't) Lily's pee stick will still be Positive in 3 days!! Go figure...they're nuts!

And Laura...all work and no play makes Laura a tired & stressed girlie!!! What are your plans for the w/e Doing anything for Children in Need  We are have a stripes and spots day at nursery but i'll miss it being in london...(sad face). It will be utter madness!

Lily - Your poor dh!!! he must be like mine - permanently on edge??!!?? I had lots of those sharp pains that suddenly go - it was like I was pg with a lobster! They started before my bfp and still go on now. They can be right in the middle or go out to my hip bones (which I have not seen for so many years it was nice to get some recognition back!!!). I think that they are stretching pains as your uterus grows immediately despite the fact that it doesn't really need to yet. 
I am hoping that the pain I am having now is an extension of that or a bladder infection....who knows?

No more brown as yet. I am a basket case.

I will text you both tomorrow if all is well. I am seeing DR at around 1pm.

Now about that scanner for xmas............


Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi again, 

I'm not wanting to post as I feel I am bringing you ladies down and don't want to do that.  So I'm staying away from boards for a bit, nothing personal but babies, pregnancy and all that jazz really need to be far from my thoughts at the moment.  Sure you understand.  I of course will check in on you ladies and you have my number if you need me.

I just need a few days to myself, yes I'm a work-aholic I know but it keeps my mind off how crap life can be.

Weekend will be helping my mate pack for her move to devon on the 30th of the month (another reason I am down) and then to tim's sisters on sunday for dinner and a trip to check out the kitten.  So will be busy.

Tim can't get tue off work and so I need to rearrange my appointment or go on my own, that too makes me sad.

At the moment I don't want to think about things, its all too painful for me.

I will of course be checking in to find out if i'm a cyber aunty to one or two babies from lily and KT let me know how your scan goes tom.

Love you both lots, take good care of yourselves.
Will be back soon. 
XX


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## sandee2002 (Jun 24, 2003)

kately

i have been told my amh test was less than 1.......what was yours....do you put store in this test?
i dont know what to do......also where did you have your treatment....?

regards
sandy


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey: How is everything? Hope you're ok and ready for a relaxing weekend. We'll be missing Laura for a few days  . Hope she brings the kitten back with her. I'm looking forward to Tuesday's news too.

Sorry Sandy, I can't help with the test result, but I'm sure Katey will.

Lots of love, Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

Laura - I understand and we are waiting here for you to come back whenever you want, (make it soon). Love ya!

Sandy - I have sent you an email....hope it helps......I am at the Fertility Academy in London with Mr Gorgy - who I think is fantastic! (but we don't tell him that!!!)

Lily pops - how you doing? How you feeling What news - your post was short!!!

I am back from the big smoke and cream crackered! ivig really drains me. I got my KC results in writing and strangely the high one has plummeted but the low ones have gone up....what's that all about??
The scan was fab - I am sure we saw arms and legs which was a thrill. I am still having pain and the Dr said to have my water checked! Have to wit 'till monday for that but if I do have an infection it will not help my KC count!!!

Make up now needs to be scraped off so i'll catch you later

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh I'm so pleased you've such good news KT - 8 weeks and 4 days: truly wonderful. I was soo worried when you didn't text from the hospital.

My dr did a beta hcg blood test: it was ~1850 16 dp3dt - hope that's good. I know it doesn't mean much without another result to see if it's going up. I did my obligatory urine test this am (bought a Wilko's one this time) and rang the nurse to give my +ve result. I've a scan booked for Monday 4th Dec: 16 days time. How am I going to wait until then? I'll be 5+2 weeks then. She said any earlier might not show anything and would add to any worry. I don't think I could be MORE worried!

Otherwise I'm ok. Boobs same, although nipples hurt more after showering last night - ouch! Also, I'm having trouble eating again. I fancy it and then sit down and just can't eat  .

Bye for now. Hope you're having a great lazy Saturday. DH is going mad with the strimmer - I daren't look. We discussed what could be strimmed first thing - but we'll see... Went for a walk and left him to it (maybe a bad idea  ).

Lots of love, Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Sorry about yesterday. I did text you a pic of the scan but it appears I did a bad job....I wondered why no-one replied.

Your beta results are good. In fact, that number is quite high (I think) so could there be more than 1? ooohhhhh!!!!

The symptoms will come and then they go and then they come.....I find it all a bit wierd. It's a blessing not to get bad nausea etc even though having it is reasssurance. We're just mad!

What has dh strimmed Any greenery left?

Think I may start my xmas card list today. Yippee.

KT xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

He's strimmed EVERYTHING  . I did have a lovely euphorbia from a friend a few hrs ago, not now! Trouble is he really enjoyed himself and I normally have got so upset, but with worrying so much about this scan, I'm really ok and just can't think of anything else but the scan. He's got off with it!   Mind you he's chopped a tree down too that I rather liked . Thankfully he left the eucalyptus until I got back.

Yes, I agree, when I do start feeling weird, I think Oh no, then when I feel better I wish I felt worse  .

I love writing Christmas cards - well I enjoy enjoying which to send to whom the most. Trouble is DH has such a large family, perhaps we should start soon too.

I was wondering - did your tummy show anything straight away? I'm not sure if it's from mild OHSS but I've got a little fluidy mound already which honestly wasn't there before IVF . Mind you it's worse by evening. DH is worried people are going to guess earlier than I expect, especially if the wind doth blow into my top half!

Bye for now, Lily. xx
PS I'm sad I never saw the pic of the scan. However, I have an archaic phone (no camera, special ringtones or pics possible) - I'm looking into a new one, but have no idea what to buy.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

That made me laugh! The whole symptoms thing because that is just how I am. Mourning their absence and lamenting their presence! What are we like.

I would like to say that I am very pleased with myself! I have made all my xmas cards and now they are ready for scrawling on, (I love making cards but i'm not terribly artisitic). Now I have three ckes to make and my mincemeat for pies. What a busy girl I am.

I sent you the scan pic. Let me know what you think. I am not sure but to me it looks like grape is staring at us!!!

I must confess that my stomach was never so small that a pouch would become noticable. I've looked in the early stages for years now!!!!My boobs are different but not too much bigger so maybe you will be spared for a while (but with a bata like that, who knows!!!).

My eucalyptus is looking a bit tall and gangly....is there anything I should do? Oh, and how far back should I cut my lavender plants now An I too late
KT xxx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Oh - and HI!!!!! Laura if you are looking in.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

KT - I've checked my e-mail and had to leave the scan pic to open - it's taking a bit of time: maybe by the time I've written this ....

You MAKE the cards - blimey! Do you have special card making kits, or are they those 3D type (can't be that would take ages) or just lots of glue and glitter?  

Re the lavender - yes it is too late. It's not cold that often kills lavender but winter wet and cutting now will definately cause them a lot of stress. If they look pretty rubbish (have suffered die-back already) don't cut them back until there's definate new growth appearing at the base in spring. Large lavender can be cut about one third and dwarf about 2 inches (or back to new growth). After that, best time to keep a good shape is to prune just after flowering has finished.   Lavender lecture over. The eucalyptus can be pruned quite a lot - they get HUGE otherwise. We cut ours each year otherwise it shades a greenhouse too much. DH had his ladder balanced on it today and took its top out, then a bit more and some lower side branches as the plants growing underneath are struggling. I was a bit worried until he'd got plenty of soft eucalyptus leaves cropped that he could fall on should the worst have happened  . He'd only have layed there laughing  .

Back to scan pic: I think it's only about a quarter opened, so i can't see much yet  . I'll keep looking and get back to you once I've seen beany.

Love Lily. HI LAURA - Hope the weekend's going well.


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

It came through! and then thankfully reduced in size automatically so it all fitted on the screen. Before it did that, I was wishing for my consultant to come over and explain what was what to me  . It really is so beautiful and so emotionally lovely. It's amazing to see all that at less than nine weeks. Plus your womb is such a lovely shape: I told DH so too - sorry but I hope you don't mind him look at your personal bits!  . He's not seen a scan photo before.

Hi Laura!
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

Couldn't keep away for long a!

Still in my PJ's and not up for much, tim tried to make me go to the gym  got as far as getting my bits out and then went back to bed.  Meant to be going to inlaws tom... not sure I can cope with it though.

KT- great the scan went well... I didn't get text either so it must be you not sending it properly not our phones!!  

Lily - I have 3 small green plants in my bathroom on a shelf, I haven't watered them for about 2 month and the leaves have all fallen off and gone brown... any advice!!    I also have aleo vera that has grown so big it is falling out over the side of the pot and all wonky?!  I'm not very green fingered!

My cat is so cute, I keep cuddling him, tim doesn't want us to look at the kitten tom.  

Anyway believe it or not I'm tired!  So am going to head back to bed for a snooze. 

Anyway love to you both, I'll check on you both again soon. XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Aaaahhhh...so you like the grape's pic Me too and, yes, it is amazing to see so much so early. It really looks to me like 2 eyes looking straight at me!

I'm not sure about the uterus shape. The balck bit is the gestational sack and that looks like a kidney bean and it moves around. The grey bit, my uterus, looks like a hurricane on a weather map!

I have no problem you showing my bits to whom ever you choose.

Soon you too will be sporting lots of little black and white snapshots. Laura too.

Speaking of whom.......Hi there trouble!!! You cannot stay away from us can you!!!! You sound like you have had a lovely restful day. So there is a chance or not that the kitten will be viewed tomorrow?

I will leave the lavender plants be but I do have 1 more question for you lily......my house plants appear to have lots of little flies in the soil that will  not go away. what is this all about?

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi there ladies - how's your Sunday?   We just got back from the seaside. Had a good walk - wrapped up in woolly hat and scarf!

Great to hear from you Laura - did you meet up with the in-laws? What about kitty? About your plants - I suggest replacing them with 3 artificial versions - cyclamen can look quite realistic! Alternatively get some cacti.   The aloe sounds like it would love a bigger pot for Christmas....

Katey - sounds like you've a case of the scarid fly   - sorry sweetness! but often a case of a little too much water, or not enough too often and probably from the top? Their other name is fungus gnat   and as it suggests they like to feed on decaying organic matter - ie decomposing roots or leaves. If you scrub into the soil a bit, you may see tiny white maggots  . You could either catch them with sticky yellow traps or replace the compost with some sterile stuff, removing as much of your own as poss, then spraying an insecticide from the garden centre. Bio provado is good. Then water less often and preferably from the bottom. Hope that helps.

Bye for now - by the way how do you make your cards KT?
Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond, but I have had a real hard time getting on here tonight.

Lily - You are just a wealth of gardening knowledge. I was going to repot with new compost (is that sterile??) and I will water from the bottom. These critters have completely wiped out my banana plant. Thanks for the help.

I tend to make most of my cards using stamps and embossing/chalking/watercolours.

With my xmas cards, I stamped an image of 3 trees and  'happy Christmas' onto a white card and then I used 3 different embossing powders (gold, silver and bronze) which sticks to the stamp pad residue and then I heat embossed which makes the image set and raised. It is so so easy. I love making cards.

Your trip to the seaside sounds very nice. What an active lady you are!!!! It is a shame that you cannot have dogs as they would be the happiest pooches around!! Remember to take it eay though.

Hi Laura - hope you had a good day. Any news on the kitty? How you doing

I'm off to bed as i feel so tired and horrid. I will get to the garden centre tomorrow.

Hugs etc

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
KT your cards sound sooo artistic and clever  . Good news you're feeling horrid - hcg and all that.

Laura - Did you get kitty then and survive the in-laws?

I'm not very happy today as I think we overdid it yesterday. We walked along the cliffs a long way, as were looking for a pub for lunch. My legs ached a lot at the end of it and last night in bed I woke up needing a wee and my tummy hurt. I had bad dreams too. I'm worried I did too much and caused them harm. Is that possible with walking?  

Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

Just to let you know  survived the in laws, they didn' mention anything actually, was fine.  We picked a tabby kitten she not ready to come home til xmas eve, which may be nice as got a week off.

KT - you put me to shame, I buy my cards, although I do normally put a silver santa stamp on the envelope!

Lily - sure bean(s) enjoyed the walk, just dont do too much.

Got my consult tom so feeling bit nervous, espec as on my own.  

Bloody IVF on eastenders now! Grr!

BFN XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey you 2

Sorry so late but working all day (boo hoo) and feel like pants tonight and could not drag myself off the sofa and go to the computer. I am bed bound now!

Lily - I think you are fine BUT remember my Dr said max 20 mins walking/day after I got my bfp. Now he may be talking out of his stethoscope (I have no idea) but I am following his advice anyway. So please take it easy my lovely. 

Laura - the kitten is sooooooo cute!
I could not believe that IVF was on enders! Then again, I am surprised it has taken this long to penetrate soap land. Did any other soap have IVF yet

Roll on Christmas and time off!!!! Hurrah!!!

Please do not exault my cards too much - really a 5 yr old could do it. The same 5 yr old, however, may not have as much success with my christmas cake!! Mine was so well brandy fed last year (1 month of post cooking feeding) that you coud get the fumes 2 streets away! It was fantastic! (and I don't drink!!!). 

It makes me a little sad though as I baked the cake last year when I was pg with the bad ectopic (did not know that it was ectopic at the time) and I remember chatting away to the baby but crying as I had a feeling it would be going pear shaped. So I am a bit scared this year to make the blasted cake just in case - what kind of logic is that??!!
Well sorry to bring that up but it was on my mind and I am permanently fearful.

On a more cheery note I am off to the garden centre tomorrow so that I can rid myself of those flies and maggots!! I told dh and when I mentioned maggots he went pure white!!! Too funny for words! 

Well it is a shower and sleep for me.....

Hugs - Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Laura - how did the appointment go: hope your consultant was helpful? Did you see the lovely lady? Can I see the kitten?   Glad you got one - perfect timing too.

KT - hope you got the maggot exterminator  . I can understand completely about the cake, although rationally it's obviously not going to affect beany, this IF journey doesn't allow for 'possible associations'. How's the sickness?

Went to the GP with various questions including the walking issue - I fell to the floor when you mentioned max 20 mins KT! She said it was ok for me to continue walking in early pregnancy and later I just wouldn't want to walk as far (ie as many miles). Well I'm going to be careful and walk less than I would pre-IVF, but it feels so lovely to walk with DH by the sea etc.

It's weird today as the pain I had after ET has returned. It's under the right rib in particular and hurts more on breathing and bending, so I'm resting now  . I'm sooooo scared about the scan, another 12 days .... I just need to see a heartbeat and feel a bit nutty waiting. The info sheet that came in the post from the clinic, repeated what the nurse said, ie scan on week 7 when a heartbeat should be visible and the clinic can confirm everything looks fine, but unfortnately this is not always the case  . Oh great! Remind me AGAIN! Just to make the days pass even easier, NOT! 

Well I've so many sad faces in this post I better smile  . I think my problem is that for the last 5.5 years I've waited everyday for a BFP, that it kind of felt inside that everything would be hunky dory after that - this isn't quite the blissful - let's relax now state I expected!

Sorry for my drivel. I hope you two have some good news  .

Lots of love, Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily - you really do have a lot of un-smiley faces today!!! It is true that getting the bfp is just one hurdle in a long and stressful race.

I used to get cross with myself for feeling down because I had finally got what I wanted and yet I felt miserable. Now I am putting that down to hormones and fear. It gets harder as you go!

I am not sure what this pain under your rib is. I asked dh (training to be an osteopath but, as I said training not qualified) and he wanted to know:
1) What kind of pain?
2) Is it under the bottom rib or the lower ribs?
3) Breathing in or out
4) How's the toilet activity at the moment??

He says that, depending on your answers, it may be a muscular thing as you are growing and moving internally - however that would not explain et. mmm, curious,

We got some insecticide and compost and I will carry out 'Operation maggot' tomorrow!!! I had to rest today as a bit of hoovering resulted in that brown stuff again. I am thinking, howvever, that I have had brown since week 6 and the scan was fine so it must be ok ().

You watching Prof Winston tonight

I'm off to text Laura - not heard from her and worrying now.

Hugs, Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi KT,
Have you heard from Laura?
Thanks for asking DH about my pain. I don't care if he's not qualified yet, he is still replying with knowledge.

1. It's an ache. A little like a slow stab with a knife?
2. What's the difference between bottom and lower rib? It's nearly as far as one can go on RHS. After ET, it was as far left and right as poss.
3. Breathing in. Makes me scared to breath in fully.
4. Toileting fine. Not constipated.

It got better after I had a lie down, got warm and drank water. It lasted for a few hrs. I remember someone saying that after ET it can be due to mild OHSS and something to do with the diaphragm and fluid collecting. It got worse mid-way through 2ww, improved maybe a week ago and has restarted.

You must take it easy too KT - we don't want anymore brown stuff!   - light duties for you my dear for the next 7 months.

Yes, I did watch Prof Winston. I think my hormones are a bit messy as I just cried at everything, particularly the +ve points, eg embryos surviving the frost, eggs fertilising. It just brought it all back. Did you watch it?

Hope to hear news of Laura soon.
Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Morning

OK dh said that what he meant by ribs is: is the pain under and behind the bottom ribs or below them??
He said that you have muscle groups there, of which the diaphragm is one, and you use these for breathing - he had already guessed it would be breathing in. He said that it could be due to muscular changes in your pelvic region or some kind of strain that will depend on the type of work you may have done, which way you slept and any compensations you are making to alleviate the pain. Basically it could be anything. I'm sure that helps!!!! NOT

I have heard from Laura but I do not know what has happened only that it was not a good meeting and she was distraught. I am hoping to hear from her later. If you do, let me know.

Brown has stopped for now. praying.

Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

HI KT, I'm sure my ticker's going a lot slower than yours!!!! Lovely to see you're over 9 weeks now - yippee!

I'm very sad to hear Laura was distraught - I was so expecting good news from the nice lady consultant. Hope you're ok Laura?  

Love Lily. xx

PS Thank your DH for his help KT   at either being bothered to process it through his mind! Just to confirm, it's attached to the bottom rib on far right hand side. It restarted when I lay in bed on my front last night, was gone in morning and restarted about 1hr ago today again. It's ok he can give up if he likes. My DH is hoping it just goes away and has got Christmas on his mind. We spent morning and early afternoon tagging Christmas trees up the field. Told GP about it and she got me to lay down, then pressed on me a bit and said she couldn't feel anything wrong. Ho hum.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Dh said that if it was due to OHSS then would it have gone away and reappeared this amount of time after??


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

HI KT - I just don't know! I know that rising hcg makes it worse, which is why if it restarts mid way through 2ww, it is a good sign, but I'm not sure why it could have restarted again now as I presume it's been consistently rising (I hope with all my heart).

Where's lovely Laura?  

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well that would make sense.

Laura is home in bed nursing a hangover

I feel pants !!

Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

well I have got home from work and had a snooze feeling better now... was so ill all day, had hardly any sleep and had far too much to drink last night.

We went to covent garden after the appointment and neither of us had had brekkie or lunch and had 2 bottles of wine and I kept nipping out to look at the shops and buy some pressies.  We then went to brick lane and had a lovely curry  - I had tandorri king prawn dansak and brinjal bhagi... MMMM! and another bottle of wine.  We got home about 11 and we got in and I started hysterically crying (bad news and alcohol not good combo) and me and tim had a fight then i got to sleep (passed out!) and woke at 4am and felt sick and bad and couldn't go back to sleep.  Tim then started throwing up about 5am and didn't make it to work!  He insists tht he has food poisoning and I just had to go to the shops to buy him liver salts and get him some riveta!  Then the kitchen bulb just exploded and I can't see to clean it up!

Anyway consultant was not the nice lady it was the same horrible man, but think he is german and comes across very abrubt.  He said the same, everything suggests I am entering menopause and won't produce eggs next time.  Egg donor would be my best bet... not sure I'm ready for that.  He has put me on short protocal, on menapur I think 450 but will have to check again.  Got to take pill for a month first.  have to wait 3 periods so will start end of Jan if I come on soon which i should.    So sad I can't tell you.  Tim can't seem to understand that for me its a NEVER and for him its not, I know he can't have a baby with my but if we use donor it will be his child, or if he leaves me he could meet someone else, for me it is so final.

People keep calling and I can't talk to anyone and tim is also refusing to talk to people as he is 'sick' so getting anxious about all his family and my family that are worrying about me, but I can't face telling 10 people that I'm infertile.  Wish people would leave me alone!!

Sorry thats a right rant!

Lily - hope your pain goes soon, sure its just your body changing and making room for bean.  I only have picture of kitty on my phone and so you need to update your phone!  Has DH got a photo phone?  I can text him?  If not you will have to wait til xmas when I take some with my camera.

KT  - don't be working too hard! XX

Sorry for a moan post but things are pretty bad for me at the moment.

Love a very sad Laura XXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura

Well I am glad you posted. I have been a tad worried about you.

First off you are sooooooooo right when you say that it is different for you and Tim. Don't get me wrong, the person without the 'problem' has a really hard time because staying with their partner may mean childlessness and that is tough. Also watching a loved one go through treatment etc must be agonising because it is out of his control. BUT at the end of the day, like it or not, if they walk they can go elsewhere. We cannot.

I tried to explain this to Robin so many times and he gets it but not really. I know that with another woman he could have a family whereas with me it may not be possible. That is an insecure and scary feeling. I feel guilty but also jealous. Hell, it stinks.

That said I must urge you not to decide on 1 consultation and a 1/2 arsed IVF cycle that you are now infertile. If I had done that 7 years ago then I would never be here now. The truth is you have to put up a bit of a fight otherwise it'll never happen. They told me I would never conceive naturally - I did 6 times! They said that I woud not get eggs - well I got 4 and I am pg. What you need is a proper thought out cycle that is monitored continually so that your drugs can be adapted. 1 egg is all you need...just 1! Even if you have to do IVF more than once and get 1 egg a time it may be THE one. For heaven's sake, they got a 60 yr old pg by reversing menopause!! I am sure that they could sort you.

It may be that it will not happen and I can never say to you that it is a certainty BUT neither can that bloody nitwit. One thing I have learned for sure is that science can do only so much and scientists know only a little - there is a huge degree of luck and destiny involved in treatment. It is not an exact science - far from it.

you were right to cry - I say scream the place down - but then come out fighting and, most importantly, NEVER accept the opinion of 1 dr because he is not God and make it your mission to put him back in his box. All through the last 7 years for me Dr's have given me bad news or a poor prognosis and I have listened to what they had to say...but then I researched and, armed to the hilt with info, I went into baby getting battle.

I'm not saying you should turn into a one woman warrior - it's not for everyone and you must remember your sanity - but if you intemnd to go forward with IVF then you must try.

I feel like a right lecture giver. That was not my intention. I am sorry. I just want the stars for you (Lily too).

If it takes me to come down there with you to that place, I will - no fear of that.

Have a good sleep - catch up later

Hugs, KT

ps Hi Lily!!!! How's that pain tonight


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Well my pain's a bit insignificant when Laura's got so much to deal with. Blimey girl - you're having a tough time, but Katey's said some good points. I don't blame you for getting drunk, crying your heart out, avoiding people, arguing with DH and feeling like you're never going to have his baby, but that is all absolutely expected. I would have been surprised if you'd said any other.

I don't like this guy you saw. Is he basing his opinion on your last cycle (which did not go well, from the start), or have you had other tests? I am so angry he's discussed donor eggs with you without even getting you through a properly planned and monitored IVF first. So many women on here produce 2 or even 1 egg, but they've still got pregnant and given birth. Donor eggs isn't something he should have mentioned lightly, especially at this stage and with his abrupt manner    .

I know we've mentioned other clinics before, but have you considered going to an open day/evening somewhere else, where you can have a little chat afterwards with the consultant present and see what you think to their opinions. That's what I did. Obviously you'd need to go armed with a summary of your key blood results and treatment to poke under their nose. I went to 3 clinics (Lister, Bourn Hall, Care Notts), whilst undergoing all the clomid, OI etc before I chose and went where I was happiest. I believe having faith in your clinic and therefore inner strength is very important. They're there to provide you a service. Do you know where else your PCT will fund you to go? If you don't want to go anywhere else, sorry for the rant, I just want your next go to receive all the best possible input/knowledge/support possible, so that you know you're getting out of your body it's potential.

You look after yourself Laura - you deserve some serious pampering.  Here's a little  for you lovely! Surprise!    

Bye for now, love Lily. xx Hi Katey: you said you're feeling pants - hope you're ok?


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

HI there

How's the pain today Lily...you didn't say. What clinic do you attend (I can never remember) ?? I went to both Care Notts for a chat and Bourn Hall (in fact my 1st ivf in 1999 was partly with Bourn Hall) and I liked them both.

Poor Laura - we have inundated you with our rants - can't help it though, agree with Lily too. 
Thinking of you xxx

I am still feeling pants (which is good). Dh and I had words last night and I got so stressed that it may have hurt the grape. Note to self: do not argue!!!!

Off for a clipper and a rich tea biscuit!!

Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Thanks for my rants I liked them both!

Well I'm feeling vaguely more positive tonight.  I have got a couple of books through the post that I ordered last week that I'm going to read (Natural solutions to infertility and Infertility survival handbook) as well as a book called stork club... have you read it?  About a lady having IVF treatment at the Lister, its funny and I can so relate to everything in it, its quite funny but sad too, read half of it today.... she has killer cells and has to have the IVIg stuff!!  

I have talked to Tim and we are not going to tell anyone about the next IVF, and I mean NOONE!  We will say we are doing it again next year but no specify.  We are both going to do a liver detox jan and I'm looking into acupuncture as well.  We will be on a health kick after chrimbo and if i still don't produce any eggs at least I will know I've tried my best.

I can't move clinics as its the only one my PCT use but I have been looking else where for the future.  However the plus side to my clininc is its only 4 tube stops from work and everyone has been really lovely except that one consultant.  

I am interested in the Lister as it 'specialises' in high fsh, but also bourn hall offer sperm sharing and that would be good as we are not exactly rolling in it.  So that would be worth a look.

I plan to focus now on xmas, then after xmas i will make myself a baby making machine (or try my best) and if that fails I will have to rethink things, not much I can do until after that.

Anyway... whats happening with you two??

I feel lost with your news??

Lily - when is your scan?  Hows the pain?
KT - still feeling yukey?

Love me XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

So Laura....what happened to the lady with killer cells in the book? Please tell me it worked out!!!!!

I'm glad that you are feeling more positive and fired up. A liver detox?? Just what we all need after xmas!!!! The amount of meat I am consuming at the moment (all I feel like eating) will require quite a severe detox. Let me know how it's done!

Lily....where are you Let us know you are ok.

KT xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh I don't know!!  I'm only half way through... we ave just finshed her 2nd failed IVF.. but from the title I think she gets a bubba at the end (stork club... frontline of infertility to mother hood) or something, I'll prob finish i over the weekend, can pop in the post to you if interested??

Hmmm... was reading my IF books last night, seems I may have POF (premature ovarian failure) wondered what that meant!  According to that book means my chances are down to 5%!!!  Hoping I've not got it fully yet??!!  

Well all I can do is give it another go I guess and see what happens. 

Grrrrrrrrrr!!!! Crap body!!!!  Ahhh!!! Oh must stop thinking about it!! Focus Laura on nice things! Kittens and Christmas!!

Lily..... where are you

XXX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Sorry I didn't make it last night - I was unbelievably pooped yesterday, like I'd been shopping in London the whole day. However, I only went for my habitual walk but by 2pm I couldn't even sit anymore. I had worked outside am and paperwork after lunch, then amazingly I laid down - never been known before (in the daytime). I had actually been worried, as I'd read people say how tired they've been in early pregnancy and I haven't been, and so was actually happy I was so pooped. DH came in for a cuppa at 3:30pm and was so shocked at me curled on the sofa - I didn't even have the energy to read my novel. He made a cuppa for us both and then I just said - Oh, I do hope we get good news at the scan and I am REALLY pregnant afterall - it's all I keep thinking about. He said, well if you're not, you've obviously turned into a lazy moo! Cheers DH - love you too. Anyway he made up for his strange words of support by cooking an omlette.

Like you KT - I can cope with protein, but anything else is a struggle (beforehand I could eat the veg easier than the meat?). I was so tired I didn't even want my dinner and just dreamt all the time of lying down again - amazing. Don't worry about the 'words' between DH and yourself. DH and me did too on Wednesday night about his family (they're typically great, but someone upset him), and I too was worried it coud affect whatever's inside of me. Anyway we resolved it and I too have told myself not to let myself get upset again and am concentrating on keeping calm - I suppose pregnancy hormones will be having some affect on us too - and not helping our arguing skills? That's what I told DH anyway and asked him to help me get a balance again: normally he goes silent  .

Really pleased you've got a plan sorted Laura - sounds perfect: live it up for Christmas and really chill out, then detox and put everything into the New Year cycle. Sorry, but I don't know much about POF. I am sure though that there are varying degrees of it, so you're better concentrating for now on putting everything into this cycle and then reanalysing if necessary.

You asked about my scan - it's 04 Dec ! Ages yet, I'm sooo nervous. I'm at Care Notts - I've been so impressed with their profesionalism and yet friendliness. I really had such fantastic faith in them - I reckon they have an amazingly skilled team. No doubt other clinics do too, but I would go there again.

As for the pain, well it wasn't so bad last night, just niggly. To be honest, I've been worrying about it, cos when I had my previous cycle, I went to the GP about the pain afterwards - same when I breathed in, like a slow stab and I remember her checking my legs etc for signs of a blood clot. There wasn't and the pain got better. But I obviously thought about it again and it's a bit scarey wondering how bad to leave it before seeing her again. Trouble is the pain's at night when surgery is closed and it's gone in the morning.

Other than that I'm ok, except totally depserate for this scan.

Lots of love, Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Lily..

Yes 4th Dec seems ages away... feel like you've been preg for ages!  I need to know how many booties i am knitting!

The pain sounds to me like wind, especially as you get at night, not when you are up and about in the day.

I've heard lots of good things about car Notts actually.. it only 10 mins from my MIL.  My friend on the Barts board moved to Notts and got a BFP this morning!!

Anyway I need to get dressed and to my meeting... only got to go Brighton today for one meeting.. bit lazy should have arranged something for the morning but figured I could do with a lazy day.

Glad your feeling tired!

XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey

Sorry I have not been on. I am feeling blah! Fine all day and then I get hit with the waltzers at 6pm. I can do nothing when it hits. I am happy but hate it at the same time!!! (never pleased)

Dec 4th....mmm week on Monday That does seem like ages! I have been having scan withdrawal this week as my Dr is in Egypt treating patients there. 
The tiredness is good and is your body's way of saying 'sleep lily'. Enjoy it whilst it lasts I say.

I also think Care Notts is good. I met Dr Fischel 7 years ago for a chat and he was fantastic. My Dr in Leicester works through them also so, had I stayed with him, I would have been at Notts too. They are - with the exception of their pee stick fascination - great.

Laura - kittens and christmas...could not have said it better my self. What a combo!
Please reserve judgmet about your ovaries until they have been put through their paces...we'll know more then.
Can you knit?? 

I'm off to bed...sorry cannot type more - just cannot.

Hugs, Katey xxx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Morning!!! Happy Week End!!!

How are you both What news
I feel like poop again - which pleases me in a wierd kind of way!

Off into the garden for some air and to boss dh about...ha!!

Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Ok was doing well and then had text about mate just finding out she preg and then phone call from other mate's sister telling they are going to try after xmas (my mate not her sis), got upset, tim shouted at me for being upset 'pull myself together' stuff and now am blubbing under duvet again!!

2 girls on the barts board have posted are preg, you two are preg 

Is there a conspiracy

Sorry happy for you all but how can I move on with other stuff if everyone is preg!!!!  Constant reminders!!  

Was doing so well when i woke up!!

Sorry for moan.

Love to you both as always. XXXXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

My lovely Laura

Don't fret about the others. They may be pg now and that is good for them, but your time will come, (I promise -and I don't say that lightly), and you will forget all of this disappointment. I remember getting so hacked off because the everyone was having children and not me. My very best friend in the whole world got pg and felt so bad around me that she caused an argument and now we never speak. My brother announced his arrival on the last day of my failed 2ww (July). Ladies at nursery are having babies like it's shelling peas. BUT that's just the way it is and yes it sucks but we cannot change it. 

Then just when you least expect it that bfp will come and you'll have a whole new set of challenges to face!!! You can move on because everyone else's pgs are not important - yours is and that's the only pg to concern yourself with.

Everything you feel is normal (Tim is a bloke he doesn't get it sometimes like all men) and never let anyone tell you different. My mum used to tell me to pull myself together and leave IVF if I couldn't because clearly I was a wimp. I told her to get knotted because unless you walk our road you have no idea how it feels.

Now....remember the plan.....a bloody good xmas with all the trimmings, a post xmas detox and fitness regime and then try again. Focus on that plan and forget everyone else. Oh and let's not forget the arrival of Kitty (Charlie).

The plan!!!!!!!!

Katey xxx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi it's me again - butting in as usual!!!! 

Laura honey just wanted to say that we have POF board on here too, don't know if you've seen it? Anyway, it is under the Starting Out and Diagnosis section (as you can see it's what I suffer from). I am not saying you have it, and I think the probability is that you havent!! But if you are interested you could pop over and have a read of some of the other girls posts on there?

Love to you three lovely chatterboxes!

Tracy
xx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Sorry for absence - lazy day, although sorted and threw out loads of papers/mag/old newspapers which left me pooped.

Laura - at the moment hearing other people are pregnant or even ttc and therefore may get there before you, is the most frightening and depressing news you'll get! Although, having said, from experience, it's actually when the woman you've really started to dislike when she's pregnant the first time and wish you'd never come across, goes and gets pregnant a second time and before you know, she's got 2 bouncing babes that everyone adores and are the centre of attention at every occasion. Sorry - don't want to depress you further, but unfortunately it will happen and it can eat away at you. I coped by avoiding them (they were family) and DH didn't understand either, especially as I wanted to avoid his family's get-togethers. He even accused me 4 years ago, when it first happened that I was jealous of the person anyway (she was quite sexy) and I obviously flipped. It took a long time, but he eventually realised, after others (not so attractive) made me feel the same way, that I was suffering an IF induced depression, sparked by outsiders and he went to counselling with me. He then got to hear some right truths and we both ended up crying with the counsellor, which in fact helped and we felt stronger together afterwards.

So, lovely Laura, chin up - it will be bl**dy hard, but at the end of the day it's only your +ve that matters and when it happens, you aren't going to give a monkeys about anyone elses.  

Glad you're feeling pooped Katey . I had a bad dinner tonight. I really tried hard to choose ingredients I thought I could eat, DH and I made it, put it in front of me and what do you reckon, it may as well have been sheep's brains! Even looking at plates of food in magazines makes me have the waltzer feeling again. Of course I'm very happy about it, although a little nervous if it gets a LOT worse. I've been wondering why nature does it and doesn't want us to eat lots of healthy things - it's the healthy things I'm really off and I don't buy non-healthy, so in trouble really. The only thing to go so far ok is porridge  .

Hope you're both ok, love Lily. xx

PS Congratulations on getting the funds Tracy.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Me too!!! Nothing healthy will do...only cr**

I am wanting white bread, rich T biscuits, red meat.....

I am off veg and wholegrains

AND I am getting fatter and not because of junior...because I am eating rubbish!

Phew! Thank goodness I am not alone.

Night to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Hope you're both well - what's happened to lovely Laura?  

Went to a Christmas Crafts show today - it was fun, until Dh wanted to dawdle in the food marquee, and taste everything from salamis to slow gin and garlic olives. Crikey did I begin to feel real poorly! (Happily but much to DH's annoyance as I couldn't get excited about buying any of it).

Bye for now, Love lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

a christmas crafts fair - how lovely. that's just the way to spend a sunday afternoon.

i always have my family here so we have no time to play.

glad to hear you felt sick - hurrah for nausea!!!

the lovely laura is probably snoozing the day away in between stroking her lovely cat and drinking a good red (now that sounds like a very good sunday too!)

My dr is back this week which means the T.V scanner and I can become acquainted again - yes!!!!!!!

What excitement will your weeks bring?

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

You have your family EVERY Sunday? I'm envious. I won't be seeing my mum for 4 months  .

As for this week - it's a countdown for the scan .... I'm very nervous.

Tried disguising vegetables in a cheese sauce tonight with a crusty topping, but I still couldn't get them down: very weird  . I'm going to try stuffed aubergines tomorrow night - surely nature wants me to eat some veggies? Mind you a lot of anything is impossible. I now only serve myself about 2/3 what I used to have and leave 1/3.

Did you see Planet Earth? I didn't realise seals went for penguins! I enjoyed watching how they filmed too in the diary section - it reminded me of us round the Orkneys earlier this year, when I tried to catch porpoises on film, but they are so quick, that no longer do you press film, they're gone - it sent me dizzy.

Love to you both, Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Sorry had a bit of a crap weekend, me and DP arguing etc.  Went xmas shopping and it was soooo busy I had to come home again!

And I've obviously been hanging about you two too long... I'm off work!  Keep thinking I'm gonna be sick and problems down the other end (tmi)!  Poor me. 

So if either of you are about the comp today you can keep me company.

Terrible cramps in my belly. Oh I hate being ill!

XXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

What's caused that then? Food? Bug??

Poor Laura pops!

ps loved the rabbit!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

I want a new phone! I've missed out on the rabbit too!  

Sorry to hear you're poorly Laura! Hope I haven't passed on any cyber-sickness... You sound a bit down too  . Have you got a bug, or eaten something dodgey?

Love, Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Am poorly!  Tim had a bug last week so maybe its that, can't see it being anyhtin I've eaten.  Am cold and hot and been in bed asleep all day.  Am thinking it may just be AF, got sore back and belly too so maybe its gonna be a nasty one (not had one since IVF).

Lily - You can see pics of my bunnies as I have proper pics of them so can email you them and grumpy oscar the cat!!

Dizzy sitting up... best lay don again!

Hope you too are ok.. ticking along nicely!

XXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well that sounds like a bug to me, maybe coupled with post IVF af - oh my sweet that sucks big time!

Are you still hot and cold Don't go back to work like that....promise!

Lily - how you feeling today The more I hear from you the more I think twins. Obviously don't know for sure but.....got a gut instinct. Who knows.

I have had a good day today - like and hate those all at the same time - with the exception of dizziness at B&Q, which was not much fun.

Having my dogs groomed (yes at 10pm) and they are hating every minute of it!! The choc is as close to dog tears as I have ever seen her!!! It's my ex-sister in laws business and she never turns up until the middle of the night!! Ridiculous. Oh well at least they will smell sweet tonight!

Off to make the troops tea.....hugs, Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
KT - your house is always so busy! and Laura - drink lots of water lovely!

Well, I've decided it's a complete and utter waste of time preparing anything healthy now. I made my absolute favourite - slaved away for ages, on stuffed aubergines and even treated myself to a topping of gruyere shavings, rather than cheddar. Guess what - still couldn't eat it! 1/3 eaten and it may as well have been sheep's brains again. I give up and just want to sleep.

Rang my surgery today as advised, to make a midwife booking. I was offered tomorrow! but I explained it's too early and they said go anyway - so I agreed. Think I've medical profession withdrawals. I am looking forward to talking to someone in person though about it as absolutely not one person knows about what's happening and it's driving me crazy. I had two aunties ring up today and my mum on Saturday, all saying are you ok, and I just had to say, Oh yeah, I'm fine, weather's surprisingly warm for the time of year  . Oh I do hope the scan's ok. Six days to go. I like your theory of twins KT, but after all this time waiting and trying, I will obviously be crying at any good news. I'm praying with all my very might for a heartbeat and hoping the fact that I'm sitting here with my trousers undone at the moment isn't just pessary blow-up.

Hope you feel better tomorrow Laura  .

Bye for now, Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Well I'm back and feeling a wee bit better, did get up to go to work but was feeling dizzy so just had a bubble bath and got back into bed.  Can actually sit up and type today so that must be an improvement!
Can't believe how much time I've had off work this year, 2 months for my ep 2 days in august and 2 days now... plus of course all my IVF appointment (although they were all A?L) still noonw thinks any better of of you if you struggle in so why bother a!

Lily - I seem to remember your numbers were high, very similar to one of the barts girls who is being told by all the 'twinies' is a twin number so who knows!  I think you are very patient, I would have been down to the EPU ages ago making up something in order to get my scan I must admit.   Good luck with your midwife appointment today.  I was thinking about your other post yesterday about everyone having a couple of babes before I get round to even having one... I was thinking some of my friends are prob gonns be grannies before I'm a mum!  Honest, a couple of my friends have teenage children!  Blimey what a thought a!  Mmmmm Aubergines are my favouite veg... oh and sweet potatoe.. Mmmmmm.

KT - do labs need grooming?  Do you not just do it yourself??  I love brushing oscar, very theraputic.

Anyway I'm going to see what I can find in the cupboard to have some breakfast.. didn't eat a thing yest.

Wow KT you are 10 weeks now!! When are you going back to the docs have you got to have one of those IVIg things?

Speak soon. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Glad you're feeling better Laura  and you're right, people don't think any better of you. You rest 'til you're better. We need a fighting fit Laura for New Year.

As for KT:

    10 WEEKS TODAY - HOORAY!    

Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm impressed Lily with your use of moving writing!!  I did try to do it once but it didn't work!
XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

Yes 10 weeks today - can you believe it!!! Double figures!!!! Still complacency has not set in and I am as terrified now as I was before. Probably a bit more as I am building up to another scan this week and I get very nervous before.

Glad to hear that you are improving Mademoiselle Laura. Have you eaten yet...know you were planning on cupboard raiding but has it gone down ok Have you made up with Tim How is grumpy Oscar and the cute bunny They must keep you company...what a pair!

I do groom the pooches but every now and then I have their nails clipped, anal glands squeezed (yeuch), the goldie has a hair cut and they both have a bloody good blow dry with the turbo dryer to get rid of all that loose fur. They hate it but they both look like extras from the Wizard of Oz this morning!!!!

Lily - you are being patient. How was the midwife i can't see mine until 12 weeks - typical!
So not 1 person knows that you are pg?? That's mad! I would have popped by now!!!

Off to make xmas cakes

Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

We know your preg Lily!!!  I can't believe it either that you haven't told a sole... If you managed it so far I would wait til xmas and break the news then... how wonderful!!

I have 2 bunnies actally but chaz (of chaz and dave) isn't so frendly and doesn't very often come in.  I'm email you some pics of my little family!  Dave was naughty and we had to give him away!

Yes me and tim have made up, his mother has booked us into a fancy hotel on saturday night.. just looked on the net cheapest room is £250 per night!!  Really looking forward to it!

I had 2 veggie sausages for breakfast (we have no bread for toast) seems to have gone down ok... actually feeling hungry again!

Anal glands squeezed??  I'm glad I'm not your dog!


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

oh yes...the anal glands...minky job let me tell you!!

I think I am a little jealous of this hotel rendez-vous - I could just do with a night in a plush pad followed by breakfast in bed. Oh yes, the loveliness of it.

I agree with you....Lily should break the news at Christmas. That will be fantastic. How exciting. What do you think Lily?

KT


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Yeah lily!!  Do it at xmas!!

I've just made you both my FF buddies in the profile section... I don't know what that actaully means but hay thought it won't hurt!!

I'm gonna email you now katey some photos... Lily you will have to get a better phone or let me have your email... or even better pop in for a cuppa to meet the fluffies in person!

XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

ah!!!! put the kettle on!!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi all,

Katey, just being nosey (sure you won't mind) whya did you have IVF in 1999 and then try nat for years?  Was you told you couldn't get preg nat prior to that IVF?  Sorry was just reading your signiture and was wondering. Nosey I know!

Lily- what have you been up to today?

Hmmm.. have to go back to work tom i guess.  wish i was rich!

Oh and there is alway tea in so if ever your passing!!

XXx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi you two,
The midwife was lovely and reassured me about how I'm feeling - pooped, waltzery, full and bloated at night, oh yeah plus the secretions! It was good to chat with someone. I've to make an appointment after my scan, where she'll (or one of the team) will come to the house and ask lots of questions and give advice: about an hr's worth apparently. So, although I felt a bit of a plonker next to women (well teenagers actually with their bellies showing over low jeans), eight months pregnant, it was still worth going and I appreciated the contact.

Em, Christmas - well I am expecting to tell people once the first one notices. I'm already looking pregnant (in my eyes) if I wear fitted clothing and as soon as I start turning down drinks, I feel the question may be asked. I can't really be on antibiotics all winter, can I? I was hoping to send my mother a scan photo as a way of letting her know (she's not back in the UK 'til March), however, I am feeling a little silly, as it's all dreaming as I haven't even had the scan to confirm it all yet, which I'm actually terrified about!

KT - you're like an earth mother! Making your own Christmas cards and cakes! Think you should take some over to Laura's and we'll have a cuppa with them.

Laura, I'll e-mail my e-mail, so you can send the photos. I didn't realise I hadn't sent it!

Lots of love, Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey you 2...earth mother here (although you wouldn't think so if you saw my recent attempt at pastry today!!!).

Did you see the IVF programme? Well....I had my treatment at the one where the guy in the wheel chair went to. And the embryologist - Costas - was my guy - dishy eh!!!!!! Well it brought it all back to me...lying on that bed....legs akimbo whilst 1000 people looked on!!!!

In answer to your ? laura.....I was told at around 24 ish that I would not get pg due to damaged tubes. I met Robin when I was 25 and we got married in 1999. We decided to go straight for it and it failed badly. I got 1 egg! It fertilised but no cigar. I then hurt so much that I could not bear to do it again and so we said we would take time out. In the following 6 years we got pg 6 times naturally (well from 2003 onwards really) and I decided I never wanted to do IVF again - for many reasons. But dh persuaded me to try as he didn't object to adoption (what I wanted) but said that he would like to have a child with his dna if possible. So I agreed - because I felt that it would be so hard on him if I said no. It was tough. I had some ground rules such as not freezing or wasting embryos and he found me a Dr who agreed to freeze any 'spare' fertilised eggs at the 2PN stage, (basically when the sperm has entered the egg and after 18 hrs or so 2 nuclei appear but they have not yet fused). It really reduced my chances as I could not let my 3 fertilised eggs develop and take the best 2 but I had to do what I had to do. Everyone thinks i'm mad (I am) but I cannot help it!!!!

So there you have it!

And the whole way through i've heard nothing but negativity and doubt from Dr's. I just chose to ignore them and believe in a power greater than theirs! So far so good. But you have to develop a hide like a rhino at times.

Sorry to bore you.

Lily - You have the willpower of ...well I cannot think what to compare it to. I would literally burst if I hadn't told people - I can keep other's secrets but not my own!! How strong you are!

The midwife apt sounded great. So nice that they come to you and you can relax and chat in your own environment. I'm glad you mentioned bloating at night...mine is so bad I feel like my upper tummy is tight and rotund. Sometimes it is hard to breathe. Did she say why? I just thought it was my IBS kicking in.

6 days until the scan!!!!

Night - Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Bet it was emotional watching your dishy embryologist KT! I cried again at all the +ve points (weird, but I cry at the happy bits, but not the sad bits). Dh keeps getting upset when the ladies get their +ves and are congratulated as it's not even suggested that they should wait for the scan to have it confirmed at 7 weeks as a heartbeat may not be seen. Nobody tells them to be hesitant until the scan. It's all celebrations. He's waiting until the scan before we feel we can celebrate, even together and after what happened doesn't feel we can be happy yet, maybe we can't. I'm just confused and still not sure what to think. Blimey I'm desperate for this scan.

The MW didn't say why things were happening exactly, just kept reassuring me they were normal. I kept saying I thought it was a bit early to be feeling so sick, swollen at night etc, and the trainee MW with her, pointed out that it may seem early but there's an incredible lot happening inside and our bodies start preparing early. She also referred to how many I may have inside and I had to say I didn't know yet. Apparently they can start hearing the heartbeat with their 'thingy' at approx. 13 weeks sometimes. Seems an age away to me.

Thanks for sharing for fertility journey with us. Well done Robin for persuading you to have another go!

Hope you're feeling better Laura.

Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

No haven't watched the last 2 IVF progs, tim won't let me watch them, sayd its too close to home, he is upset enough at the moment without me adding to it.  I may watch the one on the 12th which is about donor eggs.

Sorry for prying KT!  Its inspiration for me knowing your preg now and only got 1 egg on first go.  I truly believe I could have a baby with the right dr    You know what I mean girls!  But to be honest is the £.  I need to think of ways to raise a few thousand to help us along.  I guess we are lucky that at the moment we live in a tiny flat with hardly any morgage,annoys me that I'm the only one that does any saving though!  

Lily - I think you are having double trouble!!  Twins produce twice amount of hormones and so twice the amount of sickness!  Blimey, you may have toped Kt... does this mean I have to get triplets next year  

Anyway, I've had a relapse, must have been grub last night set it all off again so am home today feeling worse than any other day.  Feeling dizzy too.. thinking its prob lack of food.    I've now had 10 weeks off sick leave this year!

Oh I'm not well   

My buddy moves to devon tomorrow and I was meant to be helping her... I'm not even gonna be able to say goodbye to her now.  

Oh and Lily - sod your hospital!   There is absolutely NO indication at ALL that ANYTHING IS WRONG!!!! Enjoy!


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

Lily 'normal' people celebrate before the scan so you must enjoy this wonderful time even if only a weeny bit (I hate the use of the tern normal but you know what I mean). There is no way you would feel this pants and not have something to show for it. I had very few symptoms before my 6 week scan. It really all kicked in at 8 weeks and even now I can hardy call it bad - I wish I had your symptoms. Speaking of which, how are the twins today

I am being scanned tomorrow and I get nervous the night before. I won't settle until I now all is ok (for now).

It was odd seeing my clinic etc on TV. I kept on looking at the embryologists hands (freak I know) and thinking that they were the same hands that made my baby. That is a really weird emotion. It was actually quite overwhelming.

Laura I am so sorry that you have had a setback honey! How you feeling now What did you eat last night
I am glad that my story helped you - no you were not prying. I thought that it would never work etc etc but, like I said, I think it is down to luck and divine intervention not egg numbers. I have heard of women getting 20 plus eggs and getting 1 embryo! In fact there is a lady at my clinic that gets masses of eggs and has NEVER had one fertilise. Well we know from your ep that you can fertilise and the fact that you got pg, albeit ectopic, shows that you have a good chance. So fret not my lovely!!!

The money thing is a bind though. We have got ourselves into such hot water and have had to re-mortgage but, at 35 (in Jan), I did not have time to save up and the IVIg is another real financial headache.

I wish Robin had talked me into it 5 years ago!!!

Oh, Lily, you can buy one of the heartbeat things (doppler) on the net and pick up the beat from 8 weeks (although I think 12 weeks would be better). I may get one to put my mind at rest. what do you think

Laura - you can have mine when you get pg next year.

Off for a rich tea finger I think....Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Evenin' all  ,
You two are good for a girl's soul. DH is as nervous as me about Monday, so I daren't say much too him about my worries, as I don't want to get him more worried (having said that I probably mention it every hr!).

I think the doppler's a good idea KT - good for the men to listen to, although I told DH what you said and he rolled up a sheet of newspaper and said here you are I've made you one! He does like to save where he can....

Sorry you're feeling pants again Laura. Are you eating little and often, with some tasty treats?

I'm ok although had a bad bout of nausea pre-evening meal. A friend came round for a cuppa and I haven't told her yet, and all of a sudden it came uopn me. I'm sure I must have gone green. Anyway she fortunately got up and went (I sound unsociable I know, but we had had a good chat), and I dived for the sofa, turned off the lights and wrapped up. I did find that eating a small chunk of a roll made me feel better and I was able to eat some fish for tea. Thank goodness as DH prepared it. However, one piece of cauliflower and I almost had to make a run for it. I got stuck with everything but the fish in fact. It's a bit of a worry, 'cos if this gets any worse I'll be on water only. I'm not complaining for 'me sake' just I worry I'm not providing enough nutrients and just hoping I've enough reserves! Roll on Monday, as I'm going crazy wondering what's going on....

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Am feeling a bit better now but have been poorly today, just ate 2 slices of toast so will see how I go on that!

Glad your feeling sick Lily.    I'm definately thinking twins!

KT I'm not convinced the doppler will be a good idea...I imagine you wearing it to all your business meetings over the next 7 months, constantly strapped to you!

I'm so tired going to go for a lay down.  

I'm thinking of doing a preg test tom, daft I know but feeling dizzy, ab pain and sick and worrying over an ectopic.. I do have one tube but its all messed up.  And whenever I do a preg test I come on about an hour afterwards anyway!  I'm sure its just the drugs but no point worrying when I can waste £10 and out my mind at ease.

I so hope things go better next year... I want to join the bump club too!!

Anyway back later XX


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Sorry to butt in again girls! But just wanted to say to Lily that Mel has one of those Dopplers for sale on the "For Sale/Wanted" thread on FF - it sounds like a really good one!

here's the link in case you are interested

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=73165.0

Love
Tracy
x


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks Tracy - and you're not butting in - please drop by anytime! I better offer it to Katey first as she'll be able to make use of it before me. Plus I'm scared to get anything until I've at least had Monday's scan. If we've good news, I'm off straight to get some useful trousers, as mine are already uncomfortable - and that's with eating less than I've eaten in my life. I was thinking about it last night, not only am I eating less, I'm also consuming no wine, no chocolate and no peanuts (3 pre-IVF weaknesses) - so my trousers should be falling off me! I'm a tad worried I'm going to get bigger than I should, although as long as everything is healthy at the end of it, I don't care what happens!

So KT - are you going to try it out?

Laura - did you do the pregnancy test?

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi girls

Well I had a scan today and lo and behold the little poppet was waving, kicking and wiggling. I could not believe my eyes as I was not expecting it at all. Plus he/she is now measuring 10 weeks 1 day which is practically spot on so we are chuffed. Still petrified however!

Don't worry about the weight gain Lily it cannot be a bad as mine. I have put on 7lbs which is shocking. I am putting it down to water retention and steroids!!! At this rate I will be the size of a small country by 9 months!
I don't eat nuts usually but I really really fancy peanuts - which is a bind as I cannot have them. Are any nuts allowed

Laura - How you feeling today Did you do the test?? Off work today

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

That's fantastic Katey and must have been sooo amazing! It's really good news that the date is so spot on too. Hope you're celebrating! What do you reckon to the doppler Mel has for sale - are you tempted?

I read that it's peanuts that are the potential problem and that other nuts should be ok. I've had a few pecans, but don't fancy much else. I'm pooped tonight. Just had to decline a meal invitation next Friday night (DH's family) as I'm really worried I won't be able to eat. I'm managing ok'ish in morning and worse at lunch and then it goes to pot after that. It's disappointing, but at this rate, turning down wine (they're big drinkers), and pushing around food and going green, wearing a loose top and saying no to coffee (they love filtered extra strong) is sure going to give the game away and I'm not ready for anyone to guess yet).

Where's Laura?

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

That sounds like some dinner party!!! Will they invite me?

Where is Laura??

KT


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

The lady of the house is also a trained cook of very good reputation! - but DH is being very understanding - probably as he has to watch me every night and say, "Just try a little bit more!" Then he won't let me throw it away, so I'm getting a few leftovers in the fridge that I'll have to sneak to the birds when he's not looking. Interesting, 'cos by the next day, he's forgotten all about what should be in the fridge.

Where IS Laura?

Night. Love Lily. xx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

sorry to hijack your thread but was just reading through and its so nice to read happy news, some of yous girls have been through the mill. i am hoping it will be me soon. i am going back to Istanbul for ivf on the 26th Jan. this is ivf number 5. i had a BFP in may and m/c in June then went of to Istanbul in July for a TX. i was half way around the world and on my base scan on the first day i was cancelled huge hydros.........the Dr's there could not believe their eyes they said they were sure this was why i had not had a pregnancy. i came hope fizzing went to the hospital i had Had my TX at and low and behold they said i never had hydros. and basically writ me off. but i was none of it. i am a surgical nurse so sweet talked one of my consultants to get me a scan and ref me to a gyny. and guess what the wee girl who scanned me said straight away oh you have 2 huge hydros. also the gyn was an amazing guy and said he would get me a cancellation and i got rid of the bloody tubes on the 26th, they were a mess. 3 1/2 of surgery to remove them. but i am not bitter i feel well i did spend thousands and i did travel half way round the world but hopefully it found my reasons of why i had been failing, please let this be my time.
sorry for going on but am kind of in limbo just now don't know what thread i belong in. i go onto the hydro chicks thread great bunch of girls. but all in the same limbo state as me, waiting either to get them out or to start next TX.
by the way i dint usually yap as much. but it would be nice to join yous
Kim


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Kim

Hi and welcome! of course you are welcome to join us and I hope that we can help you get through this oh so fun IVF experience!!

Well it seems that you have been through the mill also. Was your initial diagnosis blocked tubes Did they not notice the hydro issue then?? I have heard that there is a link between hydros and failed ivf so you did well to beat the system and get them out.

Do you not feel comfortable having IVF in the UK now or do you prefer Isanbul (sorry for all the ?'s but I am a nosey parker!!!).

Where are you Lily and Laura Laura was hijacked yesterday and now Lily too.....I am getting worried...maybe you have run away and left me? No!!!

Hope to hear your news soon....Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls (welcome kim!)

Sorry was first day back to work yest and so worked really late.  Today had to go to Dover to assess someone and then stopped off at blue water for xmas shopping and just got in.  Thought I better post as you would be worrying about me!!  

Picked up some nice bubbly for tonight and tom (glass in bed in our fancy hotel in the afternoon I was thinking  ).

Just off to my friends for dinner now.  Not really eaten much today so hope I manage the dinner,  I was in chare of pudding (lemon torte! Mmmm!) bought of course!

Anyway best get off or I'll miss eastenders!  Oh until that line I was portraying a really sophisticaed life!

KT - great news about jnr waving... good social skills already!
Lily - try to eat some dinner honey just for me!  Just few bites!   sound like your mum!

Love to you all!!

Oh no didn't test.. stupid idea.. I'm INFERTILE!! Dur!  Still no sign hoping will not come the weekend now though  

L X


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies!
Welcome Kim - I'm looking forward to following your treatment. We're here for everything you want to talk about.

Glad you're ok Laura and bet you're looking forward to your weekend. Do you go in the morning.

Here's to you and Tim on your sexy weekend         xx

How ya doin' Katey?

DH and I went shopping this evening (we'd had quite a busy day with Christmas tree orders) and I looked everywhere for a skirt/trousers that will suit my next little while as I'm embarrasingly now working with my trousers undone  . DH is more than a little concerned about what is happening so soon, as I am going to be the size of a house before long! And that's with struggling to eat! Anyway, he has now decided that if the scan is good news, that I've got no chance of diguising the truth till New Year. He said people aren't that stupid. Cheers! Admittedly, I'm not only going to be turning down drinks (I was known to be partial to good red wine, of which his family are pros at), but my boobs are now unrecognisable in everything (already look like something that should be on a milking cow) and I'm struggling to hide my tummy, plus I've now developed a rash on my face - NICE! But I really don't want anyone to know until after 12 weeks as I'm so scared of problems, so I've got some thinking to do and some slimming down clothes to buy - wish you two lived nearby and could help! As I've not told anyone yet, I'm relying on DH's opinion, who just keeps laughing at me and shaking his head . Either that or he's busy assessing the lighting system.  .

Lots of love, Lily.xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Wow Lily - what is going on with you!!! I mean I am getting like a whale but to be fair I was whale like prior to the bfp. But you are moving along so quickly...so I am now convinced my twin theory is right. If you do not want to tell people you will have to go with black or chocolate colour clothes and say you have IBS which is making you swell and refuse alcohol. 

I am sure I live near to you so you can call on me whenever you need to. Personally I do my shopping now in a camping shop!!!

Laura - hey you're ok!!! Thank goodness. How was the day at work?? I would love to go to Bluewater...never have. I hope you have a splonditious night tomorrow - jealous is an understatement!!!!!!

Off for my shower...it's pessary time. Yippee!!

KT


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

hi katey no i went through 4 ivfs here and they never mentioned the hydros, then when they were found in istanbul they still denide they could see them, i was so mad. so got another scan and they were seen straight away and they were big. I went to istanbul in july as they do more personalised treatment i felt like i was just a number on a conveyor belt here. the dr i went to has published about 70 papers on medline etc. they also do embryo glueing and assisted hatching as per protocol at no extra cost. also your blood are checked daily and your drug dose is given according to the levels. i just felt they were more updated than my clinic here, and after the hydro i dont trust them anymore, all those tx for bugger all as they were never going to work. my diagnosis was when i was 23 i treated my self(being the good nurse that i am haha) for what i thought was cyctitis for about a month, then became really ill got taken into hospital where they discovered my coil was sitting in wrong place and keeping cervics open, i was septic and had pelvic inflammatory disease. i was then rushed to a hospital 50 miles away in glasgow where i had a laparotomy to try and save tubes and get cleaned out, but tubes were deformed and wasted. i actually thought they had been removed then, so when istanbul said about the hydros it was a bit of a shock. well thats my story. hope yous are all well.
kim


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Kim

well it certainly sounds like they are very thorough in Turkey! What does embryo glueing involve Does it increase the chances of a bfp?? I agree that daily blood checking is a good way to go. My Dr does that too and I am sure - being a poor responder - that it helped my chances. It's a bit of a hassle, especially as I am 100 miles from London and it costs a fortune to get there but it was worth it (I sound like a shampoo ad!!).

Where are my other 2 muskateers today Shopping Oh yes, I forgot, Laura is being romanced! Hope you're having fun.
Lily - hope you (and the twins) are ok.

Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

KIm - I have been told I have alot of fluid over my right side after my ectopic in Jan (from the surgery), but they have never suggested any treatment for it??  Sorry you've been through 4 IVFs!!  Istanbul sounds good monitoring you everyday.  My hospital are not even going to look ta me until day 9 of stimming.. desperately trying to get them to see me earlier but they won't.  I think I need to go somewhere else next time that is going to give me that more individual service.  (If I need another time.. fingers crossed I don't).

Lily - Where do you live?  Hmmmm... don't tell people until you are ready, maybe just tell a few near and dear people... I actually read in my books that all this belly size at this stage is just your bowels and wind etc not the actual baby yet.  Black is always good... long wooly jumpers are good too.. You are lucky it is not summer!!  So you excited about scan monday seeing the kiddies!!  It has to be twins.. no doubt in my mind. XXX  Lily - by the time I got your email I'd already emailed KT.. I will email you my babies in the week.. I've not forgotton!

KT  - Do you have scan pic of jnr waving?  Did you get email of the fluffies?  Had to send from Tims account as my acount was so slow at attachting photos.

Anyway I'm off shortly.. Have good weekend. XXX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hiya!  
No not shopping KT - I've had enough of that - it's too depressing. I have decided to await the scan (2 more sleeps away - phew!) and if I need them, I'm off to M and S for a better bra: I seem to be gaining boob tissue above and my old things are useless, then I'll see what trousers they've got - I do hope they save the day.

So, Laura's snuggling down with Tim now, with that posh bubbly - sounds lovely  . I haven't logged on as DH and I had a tough time going through old stuff, sorting it out into boxes for charity shop and bags for recycling box. I hate going through stuff. We gave up after a bit and wrote Christmas cards. Then after roast chicken, I've cut DH's hair. He made me cross though at one point and I accidentally took a chunk out - round the back though, so he can't see it!  

How's your day? Been making Christmas decorations, or printing your own wrapping paper?!    

Kim, I'm not tot clued up on hydros I'm afraid, but I'm pleased you've found yourself a good clinic now. The only way is up and +ve.

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

hi girls embryo glueing is a hormone that they attache to the embryo and it helps the womb accept it better and also helps it to adhere. So i am giving it a ago i will try anything to make them stick super glue if necessary. 
I will be taking my laptop to istanbul and the hotel we are staying in has wirless broadband in all the rooms so i will be able to let yous know whats happening. Just worried that it goes ahead, because of me getting cancelled the last time. but fingers crossed i will get it done.
hope yous are all well
kim


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Katey - what ya up to? Hope you haven't worn yourself out cooking a big roast? No doubt with earth mother, it'll be with all the trimmings, made from raw ingredients  .
Laura - hope you had a great room!
Kim - We shall look forward to your news.

As for me, I'm so scared about tomorrow! All being well, I'll be in touch 8:30am. Hope you aren't otherwise engaged! It's amazing to think tomorrow will be either the happiest or saddest day of DH and I's lives. I'm beginning to wonder if it's too big a risk to take and maybe I should just cancel and carry on pretending and dreaming....

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey

Lily - It will be fine. Why else would you be getting out of control bb's?? That definitely correlates to pg!!! I am so excited to hear that I think I may burst! My mobile will be next to me and I will be staring at it until you let me know. Please God all will be well with you and the twins. I am not worried in the slightest...just excited!!!!!! Good luck and I hope that you and dh have a morning of dreams coming true xxx

Kim - I have this image of you sitting on a bed holding a tube of bostik for the Dr!!!!!! (which is no mean feat as I have no idea what you or the Dr look like!!). It  was a vision that made me chuckle!! When are you off there

Laura - Do you have a mile wide grin on your face today How was it?? I bet just what the Dr ordered. Tell all (well, you can censor some bits). Miss ya!

I'm ok. Tired after the staff xmas party last night. I cannot believe that I was ever that young - and drunk/loud! They were shocking! I must be turning into my mother!!!!

Hugs, Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

KT about your Christmas Party - you're just tiring more easily right now, as well as having more important priorities!

Write soon Laura - we're very excited to hear ALL about it  .

Night. Love Lily. xx

PS I'll let you know asap - I hope I don't let you down!


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey Lily - tell us EVERYTHING!
Want to hear how it was etc. How you are feeling.

Hi Laura, Hi Kim

KT xxx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

hi girls hope yous are all well today. i am lapping up the last few days till i return to work, have been off 5 weeks. but looking forward to going back as the time till Istanbul will pass quicker. 
made an appointment with GP for the 18th DEC to get private prescription for my superfact and need a medical certificate to take drugs and syringes on plane. 
but i am bad i am still on the **** will need to get patches again, managed to stop last TX but when i was cancelled in Istanbul i was







. smoking is not my friend i know, but i will do it.
take care Kim


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Kim

Just try your best and each time you will be one step closer to quitting for good. I used to smoke 30 (ish) a day and just over 2 years ago I said NO MORE and have not smoked since. I must have 'quit' a 100 times before though. What helped me was getting the Allen Carr (RIP) video and watching it iver and over until I 'got it'. The book didn't work and neither did his clinic, but the video just got it right for me. Good luck!

When are you off to Istanbul??

Lily & Laura...where are you both??

KT xxx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

yes i have read the book twice, sounds great but was puffing away while reading. I star the pill on newyears day then down reg drugs commence on the 10th jan then off to istanbul from the 26th jan till the 17th feb. so not long now. time will pass quicker once i am working again. just get xmas and newyear by and we will be off. how are you keeping? where did you have your tx?
kim


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Thanks for asking for further info Katey. We're back after a good shop - new bra, trousers and top  .

So, Thumper measured 9mm, apparently correct for 7wk + 2 and I'm 7wk + 3, so I'm happy with that. DH actually got more emotional than me during the scan! The consultant initially said everything looked good and I didn't know if he meant there was 1 or 2, so I asked. As you know there's one strong heartbeat which was amazing to see thumping away. I'm still finding it hard to take in, that our 8 cell embryo has made a beating HEART as well as everything else. So, I'm putting down the surprising symptoms I'm getting to be cyclogest, either that or a mini elephant developing inside. Although it sounds very greedy, I did cry this afternoon for the missing one, but after a good chat with DH, he has reassured me that the other was not meant to be and in actual fact he was pretty worried about coping with two straight away. Now he tells me! I'm now feeling really relieved and extremely happy about the beating heart inside my tummy. Feels even more precious than I expected and really scarey. Next stop 12 weeks....

I've been referred to my local hospital and they want to scan me themselves next Monday! Yippee. So another chance to look at Thumper! We're hoping for 17mm by then.

Laura - where are you honey?!

Lots of love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

I'm Back!!

Lily - fantastic news!  Lovel big strong heart beat.  I understand feeling sad at the other little one..  we have all cried when AF arrives for the loss of that little egg we wanted so much.  But if I'm honest I would love to have 1 baby,twins yes I would love in a way but given the choice  I would be happier with the one.  Twins - you'd prob have a ceasarian, 1 in 13 twins is born disabled (not that I'm suggesting disabled people shouldn't be born), often born early, often problems during the pregnancy.  I want a nice easy, as worry free pregnancy as possible and hopefully you will have that now my dear.  Also how do you take twins swimming??!   

KT- hello... so have you handmade all your wrapping paper yet?!  

Kim - Hello!

Well AF still not here?? Hmmm... I want it to arrive so I can work out my IVF dates!!

Ok.... well I had a lovely weekend.  Hotel was extremely posh! We had champers in our room and had a bit of a cuddle   then went to the fancy bar and had 2 more bottles of champers with Tims mum and step dad!   Then went out to a bar in Covent garden and had another bottle of champers!    Then went out for a lovely meal...more wine and then to a bar for more wine!!  Was lovely evening lots of laughing which was great.  Then we got up for breakfast at 10am and it was very posh brekkie too!! And guess who was there!!??..... Guess then?  ...... Russell Crowe! Yes I had breakfast with Russell Crowe!  How mad was that!!  Then we went back to the room for a shower and a cuddle   and then went to Harrods for shopping and then to covent garden for dinner and more shopping!   Got home last night at about 9 and watched Planet Earth and then fell asleep without a care in the world.  I did have horrid dreams about my rabbit being snatched by a fox and i was chasing it but couldn't catch it. 

Anyway was on training today about violence at work... not very cheery... did you know more social workers get killed at work than police men?  What a nice thought!

Anyway I'm off to find myself some grub... starving!

XXXXXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - when you say, "...we went back to the room for a shower and a cuddle..." are you referring to you and Tim or you and Russell Did you speak to love muscle russell. He was beautiful in Gladiator...not so much elsewhere. What did you buy how much champers can you take One glass removes me mentally and physically from everyone else!!
Glad you had fun. It was just what you needed.

Lily - I'm with Laura regarding the twins vs singleton thing (although I would have happily taken the risks if it had happened that way). I must admit to being gobsmacked when you said one as, symptom and hcg speaking, I thought we were on target for double trouble. 
I am a bit ashamed that I did not get too upset at losing number 2. I did think about him/her but the excitement of that heartbeat overshadowed my grief. Is that bad of me do you think

How is dh tonight?? Still shocked and emotional Oh...in the Daily Mail there was an article about reducing the rate of m/c. Apparently fruit/veg every day, vitamins, white meat and....get this...chocolate have been shown to cut the chance of m/c quite significantly. Ok then - get out the tin of Roses!!!

Kim - I found the book repetitive and annoying...he never got to the point and it wound me up. I was waiting for the unveiling of the big secret and it never came. In the video he just talks and it makes more sense.
Just under 2 months until Turkey - seeing as we have xmas etc in between that will fly by! You must be getting excited now.

Off to see my Gran for her 91st b'day (she had 12 children and cannot understand what the hell is my problem!!!). I'l catch up later.

Hugs, Katey

ps I do not make wrapping paper - maybe I should - !!!!!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Russel was with a lady friend, if he hadn't have been who knows what would have happened!!    I'm more a Johnny Depp fan anyway,.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

who ever floats your boat!

I would drop robin like a hot cake if Mr Clooney beckoned!!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Ohhhh Robin don't listen to her  

What a fantastic weekend Laura - although to be honest I'm surprised you remember any of it  ! Thanks for readdressing the twins vs singleton reality. Funny you should mention swimming as DH is a very keen swimmer and he said the same thing. You take care of yourself - what are you carrying around for protection then?

KT - wot you don't make wrapping paper? OK so you wrap your hand made gifts, some of which you've baked from ingredients from your garden in hand printed/embroidered Indian Cotton - I knew it. Yes, DH is still excited. I ordered 2 books from Amazon - Anne Deans' "Your Pregnancy Bible: The Experts' Guide to the Nine Months of Pregnancy and the First Weeks of Parenthood" and Jon Smith's "The Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy" - please don't tell me they're rubbish. DH has just asked me when they should be arriving as he needs to follow what's developing when -  . In terms of getting upset about the other - no I don't think it's bad of you not to, in fact I feel bad for getting upset as I have a beautiful baby still growing inside of me that I am sooooooo grateful for. I just think that all my symptoms, bad nausea, high hcg and YOU TWO - kind of convinced me we were! Then I felt sad having to text you both that we weren't. But deep down I'm ecstatic and unbelievably proud of what we have finally achieved. I'm beginning to feel that it really could be real, although I really think that getting past 30 weeks will convince me.

Kim - evening. Bet you're getting excited about your trip.

Lots of love Lily. xx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

happy christmas everyone


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hey girls

Just popping on to say to Lily that I am sooooo glad the scan went well      

Love
Tracy
xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Thanks Tracy   . 

I've had second thoughts about what will convince me I'm actually going to have a baby (really can't believe I've just written that - I just had to stop a second and ask myself if I was still in my 5 year land of dreams) - think I was wrong saying getting to 30 wks - I reckon getting to 40+ weeks and then changing my first nappy may be necessary.

Sorry Kim, but he doesn't do much for me.

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Kim

He is singularly the sexiest bloke I have ever laid eyes on!!! Ding Dong!

Lily - I want to get to 30 weeks sooooooooo bad and there is still 19 to go. Fret fret fret

Morning girls!

Katey

ps got to go and get me some Indian Cotton (and btw, Lily, the fact that you know about this stuff makes me think you are a closet earth mother also!!!).


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

In my dreams Katey! If only there was enough time to be goddesses in the home.... Closest I came was making DH a stocking with his name on last year - then I felt stupid as I really wanted to be doing it for our baby.

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well....this time next year you will be!! Hurrah!

KT


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

How's everyone's day been?
We've been busy with Christmas trees - albeit a bit chilly, but hey something's got to bring the money in during winter....

Robert Winston tonight: don't forget you were going to watch this one Laura?

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

I have written my cards, tidied my clothes (hate that job), moaned and whined at nursery, sent my xmas packages to the States & France so that they arrive on time, collected my cyclogest prescription (how much!!!) and sought out recipes for watercress soup - what a day!
Thanks for reminding me about TV tonight...I normally only realise at the last minute!!

Will be calling mr Dr - the great G - tomorrow for my killer cell results. Pray they have gone down...please!!!!!

Catch up later

Katey
ps Lily - you amaze me. I would never have lasted outside today...freezing!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

It was the one on the 12th i was planning to watch,  What is the one tonight about?  To be honest I happy in my little bubble worl at the moment pretending there is nothing wrong with me and I can just have a baby when I want one.   Although saying that have my 1st Acupuncture next wed so will have to begin thinkin about IVF at least once a week when I start that.  I've not slept well for several nights, got a banging head too... maybe AF is finally going to put in an appearence?

I need to start writing my xmas cards, got a nice metlic pen and bought some cute stampers for the envelopes.  I so wish I was preg for xmas too.. in my head I'd always been pregnant by this christmas, trying to stay positive but it is so hard, and it I do feel positive I think that i'm settingmyself up to fail.  When did life get so tough?? 1 year ago m life was so different.  I want my old fun life back!!

Anyway... stop moaning!!

KT - Anything exciting happening?  Is jnr kicking yet??!!  11 weeks now... one more until your out of the 1st trimester!!  That must be a lovely feeling!!!

Lily - you still feelin rough and not eating?  Hope your books arrive soon... I have practically a libruary full of preg and conception books!! One day I hope to have a use for them!!  Not heard of those two but sure they will be fine. XX  I hope your not doing to much with all this chrimbo tree activity??

Kim - I'm with Lily... he does nothing for me!

Anyway love to you all. XX


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## Pin (Apr 18, 2006)

Hi Girls, sorry to butt-in but thought i'd let Laura know that next week's 'A Child Against all odds' is on Wednesday 13th next week (not Tuesday 12th), and the week after its on Monday 18th, not the tuesday.  That's according to the BBC website.


Pin x


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

Ok so maybe he needs a shave but cute outfit. I was told its next seasons armani he is wearing all the rage in newyork


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls

Pin- Thanks honey, I'm terrible with the tv guide (or lack of one!) why are they changing it all about to confuss me!!

KIm - snowman is an improvement!!

Well I watched Prof tonight.  I really conected with the 35 yr old who had a donor egg, when her endo wasn't thick enough and she got upset that is exactly how I feel... my body is oh so crap.

Anyway I'm shattered and gonna have an early night.

Night Night lovely girls (and Jnr 1 & 2) XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Sorry Laura, tonight's wasn't as encouraging as I'd hoped. Just remember the ladies involved had been through a number of IVF's before they looked at other options. We haven't even gotten you through one proper one yet. So chuffed you're going for acupuncture. My first appointment really was a turning point for me as before it I had such trouble sitting still and chilling. I was sooo amazed how relaxed acupuncture made me feel and I was still awake. I think I'd ever only felt that before when drifting off to sleep. I'm so excited about your next cycle.

Let us know about your results tomorrow Katey. Fingers crossed they're down. Watercress soup eh - yummy! I made cauliflower soup last week, but too much of it, so ready for a change.

Pin - thanks for info. Very useful.

Kim - Where on earth are you finding them?

Goodnight all, love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Kim - yes, he is the one for me!!! Cannot wait until it snows now!!!!!

Pin - Thanks..that has helped me too

Laura - Chill!!! Didn't I promise!!! What's the latest on Kitty Charlie

Lily - never thought about cauliflower. What's that like Stupid ?, I know, but is it white soup (Just trying to imagine it). 

I'm as tired as a badger who has run the marathon and then found out that it's set is 27 miles away! So off to bed.

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Cauliflower soup: as well as cauli, I add onion and celery, cook and put in blender. Season with black pepper, nutmeg and at this time of year some chill powder. When serve add drizzle (or more if you're feeling indulgent) of cream whirls. Yes it's whitish, but quite tasty and warming with some toast.

Awaiting my granny today who's bringing some of her mince pies for our tree customers (if DH doesn't notice them first).

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Lily

Can you tell your granny that I am having more than my fair share of pastry problems and my mince pies are rubbish....any tips?

Thanks - Katey

ps Morning all!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

My nan says the amount of fat must be exactly half the amount of flour (certainly not less and could be slightly more for a richer taste) and just a small bit of chilled water, apparently people sometimes put in too much. She uses lard (born in 1920's  ), but I'm sure it should work ok with vegetable fat eg Trex. I haven't made any for years as now I'm near home, I've no need - she's the queen of cake making. What do you think you're doing wrong? I like a dab of creme fraiche on top of the mince meat b4 the lid goes on - but that really does increase the fat content. Hey ho, once a year eh?

Yesterday DH bought himself the best cognac laced Christmas pud - all for himself - I'm not too much into sweet things. I usually look forward to the Brussel sprouts - I'm just wondering if I'll be able to tackle them this year. With all the nausea, I'm living off soup, boiled eggs, pasta and porridge. Can't cope with any unusual flavours and the smell of ginger yesterday made me feel really ill. All in a good cause. I'm still amazed my body's so off veggies. Weird. Thank goodness my bowels haven't realised yet  .

How is everyone and their days? I've just come in from the freezing outdoors to do some paperwork, whilst DH helps someone choose a tree in the field, in the dark! Better get back to the paperwork....

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

Thanks for the tips Lily and Lily's gran! I think it may be the water issue for me. I will try better.

Anyway...no time to chat as I have to run to London. Rang my Dr today and he explained that my blood had been taken by customs on the way to chicago and the delay meant that the blood was no good for testing on so no results for me. That has really shocked and upset me...how bad is that! To take medical stuff and hold onto it!
Anyway...it gets worse...he then says that I need to have IVIg just in case and that I have to be at his clinic at 8 in the morning as he has no nurse at present and the agency one is booked for IVIg duty at 8 on thursdays....which means leaving here at 5:30. This from a man who says that I cannot walk for more than 20 mins, have a bath, make love, go to work in case of stress etc etc but what he wants is fine. Well I am fuming! and is he going to hear about it tomorrow!

Then...get this...there is not 1 bloody hotel room in london due to a bank convention and the spanish bank holidays! I have managed - only just - to get 1 cancellation for stupid money so that I can go tonight and get there for 8.

Bad mood Me? YES

Anyway - sorry for the rant - wanted to explain why I will not be writing later.

Hope you are all tickety boo .... KT xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Oh crikey Katey! You let rip my girl. I'm so sorry you're having to travel so early and had such trouble with the hotel room - especially when you're felling so tired at the moment. Bl**dy customs!   What do they want with your precious and none of their business blood? Can't believe they've interfered with such an important cargo, which must be a rather normal shipment for them to see through and they must realise how important it is.

Please get back to us as soon as you can tomorrow and tell all. Will they do another blood test tomorrow to check on things? As if you need all this....

Hi all.

Love Lily. xx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

hi girls hope yous are all doing ok. Well my AF is now 5 days late    i cant believe it, after the operation in oct my period came as usual in november bang on time, it is always on time you could set your watch by it. now this month its late. this is going to muck up my drugs and stuff for istanbul. you see it should ahve came on sun. then would be due again on the 1st jan when i would start birth control pill then on the 10th start down reg injections then off to istanbul on the 26th, please come soon. why does this witch ruin my life so much. when you want  it its doesnt come when you dont want it oh its there. i have worked out with my flights etc that i can give or take 6 days so it must come by sunday at the very latest. sorry to go on. this has never happened before always alway regular.


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Katey - how are you honey? Did you manage to get through it ok and have strong words with the consultant? Blimey, I hope you don't have anything like this happen again. As if you need this kind of trouble on top of everything else.

Hi to all. Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hey there

Well I am back - and cream crackered! I am to repeat the blood test next week (no charge!) and I had IVIg this morning just in case. Got a scan and the baby was waving frantically at us. It had a nose (cute) and it wriggles like mad! I could watch that all day. I managed to get my dh to video it on my mobile whilst Mr G scanned. Now I can watch it anytime (like every 5 minutes!!!). It really is mindblowing to see.

Lily - how you doing How are you feeling I asked my Dr why I have put on so much weight when really not eating that much and apparently it's the steroids....do you get those They're pants! How's the nausea Mine is going now so looks like the worst is over - although I had it really easy. 

Laura - missing your little typing voice...come back soon you absconder you!!!

Kim - now that witch is taking the pi**! so we have 3 days to get af here? Have you tried having some fun under the duvet....works for me every time. I always get af after if it is due. Do you have af symptoms Is there a drug to bring it on that your GP could prescribe What will happen if sunday comes and goes Can you change the tickets How many more ?'s do you think I can ask on 1 post??
I hope that she hurries for you and that she is mild and easy!

Dh and I have decided that we no longer want to live in the UK and so we are planning to move elsewhere in 3 years or so - once he has qualified as an osteopath and can support us all. I am so excited but a bit scared as I am a home body and not that adventurous but england is so cold and dreary (we had a tornado whilst in London today!!!) and there is never any sun - which dh craves (he has that SAD thing). Plus we think that Jnr will like a life of beaches and fresh food. What do you think Will you come and visit if we go?

Katey xxx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Katey, sun, sand, sea, pool............................................................ can I come and visit?


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello my lovies!!

Sorry I've had a busy few days at work, lots of clients all doing things they shouldn't have and as I was off few days last week poorly i have had to make up the time.  But I'm here now and I'm working from home tomorrow!Yay!  I did look in on you last night but didn't feel I had much to contribute to the homemade soup debate!!

Kim - I'm have AF trouble too.. its been a month since stopped IVF injections and still no sign??  I'm still getting CM (sorry TMI) on and off so I'm guessing I'm ovulating on and off with my abandoned follies!! Really wishing now that we continued the treatment, sure I must have had 10 follies sprout up stright after last scan!!  Maybe some kind of AF dance is in order??  I'm wanting to plan my next IVF but without an AF can't plan a thing!!

Katey - Glad Jnr is waving!!  Oh I'm so jealous.   I wonder if I will ever experience that? I think moving abroad is a good plan we have talked about it ourselves.  Where are you looking at?  Exciting plan.. be lovely to have jnr running free up and down the beach.

Lily - how you doing?  Still selling the trees??  I think its sad cutting up a beautiful tree to have for a few weeks... do you sell the ones that you can plant in the garden afterwards?

Anyway speak to you girls soon. XXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - it will happen and you will forget all the nightmare in the lead up to it.  IVF does delay af so don't panic...the miserable wretch will come back to haunt you. I'm glad you are getting keen to plan the next cycle that's what you need to be.
Are you telling me you do not have a soup recipe? (!!!)

Tracy - you and yours wil be welcome any time.

Laura - have you had any ideas on where to live

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Sounds like time for an AF dance
                      

No Katey don't go! You'll be too missed. Unless of course you get a three bed apartment. Where are you thinking of? My DH is 1/4 Spanish, so naturally we've thought of going there - Northern part as we both love the mountains. So glad you got on ok in London - I bet you ARE cream crackered. I just saw the tornado on news at 10 - quite something for our country. It's wonderful you've got the video of junior on video - that's given me an idea if I get as far as you: fingers crossed.

Laura - regarding the trees: I also felt similar to you before DH persuaded me to plant them. We planted about 3000 and it's taken 5 years for them to be ready (sold a few last year). That's 5 years where all kinds of wildlife from robins, partridges, rabbits and pheasants trying to hide from the local shooters live. For each tree that we cut we replant. It's about 1 acre of trees and here's a factoid for you now: "one acre of trees produces the daily oxygen requirement for 18 people"  . I now believe that it's better to grow them, provide a habitat for wildlife, cut them and replant which continues the ecosystem. It's also great when people come with their excited children running round hunting for their tree. I also believe it's better than using a non-renewable resource to make plastic artificial trees that eventually end up in landfill sites for ever and a day. Also, people take them with roots and if they haven't been too hot over Christmas, they can be replanted in the garden. Phew - got that off my chest!   Hope you're still awake.

No Katey, I'm not on steroids, just the cyclogest. I'm finding my tummy a better size in morning and more swollen at night. Sickness is still here and I'm beginning to give up on the evening meal. Feel absolute at my worst from 3pm onwards and then lose complete concentration and appetite. Never mind - I've waited 5 and a half years for this and I always said that whatever came along I wouldn't care one bit as long as everything was progressing well. Next scan Monday so we'll see...

Night for now. Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Thanks for the AF dance!! Hope it woorks!!
Lily - I'm sure your very right about the trees, I don't think I could do it though... it feels like when people pick the fish out of the tank for there dinner at restaurants!!  Its good you replant them all and I'm sure you are full to the brim of lovely oxygen.... maybe we should all o plant a tree??

Katey - Hmm where to go ?? I quite like the idea of canada or New Zealand but the climate isn't hot (yet!!).  Australia is always an option... I know thats where everyone goes but I do think its a lovely country and I would love to go..... anywhere with space and peace would be good.  I love italy, tim's sisters mil has 2 houses in italy and we have been out there a few times, its just in a tiny village not a tourist place and its in the mountains and its lovely and peaceful.  Everyone always so friendly, but I can't speak italian so not much good for work.

Anyway I should do some work... home all day so feel free to chat!! Although should be working!!


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily - forgot to ask about your Acupuncture, I didn't know you'd done it.... spill the beans... will I cry?  Will they start poking me on the first session or is that just talkin?? XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

Well we thought about New Zealand & Canada (especially Canada) but the weather is pants so we decided they were a no go. I'd love France but the language barrier is a problem and they are not mad keen on osteopaths from what i've heard. Spain is an option because Robin could treat ex-pats and learn medical spanish so that he can treat nationals. But it is easier to integrate there. Plus the weather is quite warm all year round - we are looking at the area near the portuguese border which is not as built up as the south and he could work in both countries.

As for the trees - well i'm switzerland in this! I am guilty of buying a real tree but I also hate the thought of choosing fish in fancy restaurants!! My mum has a farm in Ireland and the government grow trees on it (for wood I think) and then they replant them and pay us for the priviledge. Fantastic. There's no getting away from the fact we need wood.

Lily - My stomach is smaller in the morning. My Dr said that the cyclogest is partly to blame so that makes me feel a bit more relieved. I just bought some jeans at M&S because I am too large for anything I own!!! It is worrying as the weight is not baby but blubber. 

I'm tired. Off for a nap.

Hugs Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls,

Well my working from home day has consisted of washing, cleaning and chrismas shopping!

My friend has just txted me to say she has gone into labour 5 weeks early!  Well her waters have broke but no contractions.  I think I'll need to go down there, her other half works on the trains and is in some far away place.... oh I hope she doesn't give birth while I'm there I'll have no idea what to do??!!

Oh I best get together some hot towels or something!!

Speak later XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Good luck - although the towels may not be hot by the time you get there!!! Isn't is hot water and towels??

I have NO idea!!!

Let us know!!!

KT xxx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

well girls still no show. I contacted GP this am, she does not want to suggest anything as she says she is no fertility expert. so i have sent an email to Dr in istanbul. I cant change my fligths as they were cheap flights from easyjet. hope they can suggest something. just typical this.      i think the more i am worrying tis not helping the situation.
hope everything is fine with all of yous
kim


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
How's the friend Laura? Re the acupuncture: at my first appointment my lady went through a thorough medical history etc, then asked if there was anywhere I didnt want pricking - I said tummy. So she never did. She went for the ankles everytime and then various places depending upon what I reported that day. It was such a wonderful experience. I had been so worried beforehand, but it was so relaxing and didn't hurt. Felt like I was walking on air afterwards. DH has had more since I last went, for his neck, shoulders and back as we have physical work and he benefits form the needles. He was very sceptical before we went, and was surprised he got anything out of it. When's your first appointment?

Hi Katey. I got some MandS trousers too, not jeans though. They were for home really this winter: black velvety with a 4inch long very stretchy waistband - perfect for the evenings, and look quite smart with a sweater. I agree that at this stage it's a bit of a worry what's happening to our bodies when there really shouldn't be too much happening. I reckon it's less activity for me as I used to be a lot more physical on the nursery, whereas now, although I still walk a lot, I don't bend and lift like I used to which was probably very good for the tummy muscles.

Have you heard from your consultant Kim?

I'm trying to psyche myself up for an evening at DH's sister's, but I'm so tired and (don't tell him) but I'd rather just sleep!

Love Lily. xx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

dont think i will here till monday now. just keep my finger crossed it appears over weekend. think i might dring 2 blts wine see if i can stop thinking about it and it may come.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Don't drink too much in case it comes and you miss it!!!

Night girls...wonder how Laura and the hot towels are??!!

Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi girls,

Early night Katey?

was a bit scary in the hospital, lots of bumps on monitorers!!  Could hardly hear myself over all the feotal heartbeats!!  She is fine, contractions only 30 minutes apart and she isn't allowed anyone with her until she goes to the labour ward (5 min contractions!) so had to leave her all on her own. 

But Jnr should be here safely and hopefully she won't need special treatment as over 34 weeks its normally fine so all fingers crossed for her please!

I must admit i was very happy NOT to be prenant and jump in my car and leave and now enjoying glass of wine, would have hated to have been her in pain and all alone... Although sure by tomorrow I'll be so jealous of her!!

Anyway back to my wine... enjoys yours too Kim! XX


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Have you all got your fingers crossed so tightly for my friend you can't type??

No news yet?! Gettin worried sure she is either busy pushing still or too busy breast feeding to call... I hope!

Anyway i'm off to London now afor some dinner with my friend and then to a comedy club... I WILL make myself smile somehow!!

Take care ladies, speak tom. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
Hope you're having a great time in London Laura - wrap up warm eh!

Where's Katey and Kim? Hope you're having fab days.

I'm really tired and grouchy. Had a busy day outside and now I'm ready to rest. Everything that comes out of my mouth comes out wrong - think I'd better lie low and sleep for a bit. Have left DH drinking red wine and making roast chicken meal - he's accepted I'm useless with evening meals now as the smell of cooking makes me so nauseous.

Love Lily. xx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

hi girls just in from a dreaded saturday night nightshift, loads of drunken head injuries   . cant wait to get into bed waiting on the blanket heating up   
hope yous are all feeling well. Well still no show from the old witch i just cant believe it. will prob get a  email from istanbul tomorrow they might tell me to start the BCP just now and take it up till the 21st jan. but will just wait and see. Its so strange, this has never ever happened before  typical really.
well good night speak later


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi there

Well Laura...any news Surely the pushing must be over by now I am on the edge of my seat.....Thanks for the email pics....I have never seen so much fluff!!! You were hidden by fluff! Is the first one a hamster I was amazed that the rabbit looked so at home with the cats! It was nice to put a face to your posts too! (Lily & Kim...your turn!).

Lily - Hey there! how you feeling today Did you get through the chicken I am LOVING chicken - in fact, I have gone meat mad.  The trousers sound lovely. I don't recall seeing them anywhere but then M&S is a bit of a round and around maze and I feel so tired I get bored looking....never thought that would ever happen! (must be a boy).

Kim - I cannot believe it. I thought she would rear her ugly head by now! Isn't it always the way!?!? This must have happened before so your people in Turkey should know what to do. DON'T PANIC!

Is it me or is it COLD! I have had the heating on low now for 36 hrs non stop. I'll be broke (well...more broke than I already am). Even my crotchety cat is refusing to go out and he hates the house.

I have just had to prepare lunch for my family - again - and alone as dh is in London. I hate it when he's not here.

So now I am going to curl up on the sofa with a bowl of white cheddar popcorn (my friend sent it from the US for me as I love it and we don't get it) and watch a really easy going film. It'll never happen....either the phone, the dogs or the cats will distract me...but I can dream.

Catch you later

Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey - thank goodness you're back - thought you'd eloped with Laura.

Hope to hear some news from you both soon. I've missed you both - it's been so lonely  . 
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello

Just a quickie-  Jessie, 5lb - Ahh!!  she ended up having a c-section as were complications, not sure of the details, Jessie is in special care at the moment as she has low blood sugar.  I'm not sure what that means??  Maybe Kim you could help with your medical expertise?  But she is very sad as baby in a different ward and she is very sore and can't get to see her much.  

Katey- 2nd trimester here you go!!  Yeah!!

Lily - take it easy sounds like your being very busy!! XX

Kim - I imagine sat nights in A&E are hell!!  Poor you!

XXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Laura - that's fantastic news!!! congrats when you see her!!!

Boo hoo - the 1st trimester ends at 14 weeks apparently....2 more to go.


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh! I'll never make a midwife a!!  Still 12 weeks is still a milestone! Congrts to you XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Congratulations to your friend Laura - hope she gets reunited soon. I've been searching for a photo to e-mail both of you muskateers as I'd so love to see yours with all the fluff! Think my hormones are making me emotional as I've been trying to work out if I've said something wrong  .

Anyway bye for now.
Love Lily. xx Petrified about tomorrow as I'm sure the nausea has disappeared.


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Don't be petrified..my comes and goes like you wouldn't believe! Some days I am so 'non pregnant' others I am. It is wierd.

Good luck!!!

laura - do you have a burning desire to be a midwife (!!!)

Night girls

Katey xxx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

well another nightshift bites the dust thankgod. still no show from AF. going to bed to sleep all day not back on tonight. Hoping to hear back from Dr urman today if not i have his mobile number, but dont like to use it but this is getting to  a emergancy stage now. I did  another pee stick last night i must be really losing it, i should know better, no tubes no pregnancy but jsut cant understand    2 degrees in  nursing and i am doing a pregnancy test with no fallopian tubes, if someone else said they had done this i would think you must be mad, well i must be mad. another thing that is worrying me is when AF came after op i was in total agony i think i mentioned it, i ended up getting DR in and had pethidine it was so bad. so now i am thinking what if all that pain was not just AF but that something was wrong. At the time i was thinking this is bad i began imaging that they had lost blood supply to the ovaries during the op. but the pain settled the next day. oh dear a little knowledge is dangerous.
hope everyone is well and had a lovely weekend


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

A little knowledge is indeed BAD!

That made me laugh - the pee stick/tube thing! But, you know, I would probably have done that too!!! Af will come, it is a certainlty, she just is not playing the game which is far from acceptable! Night shifts could be messing up your karma also...my mum was a night nurse for many years and she was always all over the place hormonally.

Keeping my fingers crossed......did you hear from the Turkish Dr

Hi Lily and Laura - what's been happening today Lily let us know how you got on. Laura are you working with your nose to the grindstone again? 

I am being soooooo lazy. DH is still away and I have decided not to go to nursery this am. instead I am lolloping around in my pj's watching TV and eating yogurt and granola - although I just had the shock of my life.....read the label of the yogurt and saw that it had 10g of saturated fat....I nearly threw it back up!!! Won't be having that brand again (but it was lovely!!!).

Be good!

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey, Your day sounds so snug. When's DH back?

Laura, How's your day? When's the first acupuncture appointment? Have you seen the little one yet?

Kim, Hope your DR got back to you.

Had our scan today. We were relieved to see a heartbeat. DH didn't see it last week so I made sure he did this week. I was surprised as I was expecting a TV scan but she did the normal type with the jelly on the tummy - didn't think she'd be able to see it that way yet. The baby measured 19mm which the nurse said was 8wk3d, so that was reassuring. However, she couldn't reassure us about miscarriage risks when I asked, and politely just said that getting to 12 weeks is a positive step. On we go then. Blimey this whole thing is so much scarier than I expected. I'm just grateful for everyday that passes at the moment.

Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hi Girls!!

Lily - I will email you lots of fluffy stuff in a bit!! It will be from tim's email address not mine as it takes ages for pics to attach!  Oh and don't feel left out.... I emialed that to Katey weeks ago (she obviously not that good at checking her mails!!) Sorry I've not been about, work is very busy at the moment, being pulled from pillar to post and we are packing up the office as we move buildings on Monday.      So looking forwad to the move, really nice building.  And tim has just called to tell me his boss is coming over tomorrow so I'm doing mad cleaning and theen I have 2 mats staying on Thurs as we have a 30th birthday dinner to go to and I haven't got a present for her yet!! Ahhhh!!!  The stress!!

Katey - Mmmmm sofa and fattening yoghurt!!

Kim- No AF for me either!

My friend has been very emotional, keeps telling me how sorry she is that she wasn't there for me when I was in hospital etc.  Not heard from her sice 4.30am??  yes she was texting then!!  I text her a while ago to see how she is but nothing back yet.  Not sure about visiting.. one email said she wants me too, other said she was too emotional for visitors... so not sure!  She knows I'll pop in when she ready for me.

Anyway I'm cooking tonight nice dinner... roast sweet pots, cabbage, stuffing, veggie sausage toad hole and onion gravy!!!  Go on call me earth  mother too!!I'm trying!!

Oh and I have cystitus (?) hate it.    Tim stopping at shop to get me something for it... was hopin got up loads in night as preg... daft I know!!

Wish Af would come.

Me XX

Speak later XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

lily - that's a good result and right on target. unfortunately I too discovered that there are no reasuurances...it's just hold onto your hat time (remember your train journey analogy....well...). BUT the baby is measuring well and its little heart is beating so I would say that you can't ask for more than that right now. 

Oh..and Laura is right....I am shocking at checking my emails! Sorry Laura.

Laura - your friend must be in a real tizzy! BUT not as much as you seem to be..all that running around and stressing...no wonder you have cystitis! You make me tired!!!! I hope that you are planning a fun and RELAXING christmas?? What are your plans

Kim - Any advance on this morning??

I am out of my pjs and I went to work this pm. Up to my neck in paperwork and bills...how can we possibly have so many invoices Where are they all coming from

I have to go to London for a blood test tomorrow which sucks - especially as my mum is going with - and on Thursday I finally get to have a midwife apt. Hurrah. I also have to arrange that nuchal whotsit scan to look for Downs and I am a bit scared to say the least.

Dh is back tonight but then gone again tomorrow. Miss him. miss the company...do NOT miss the snoring!

Katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Katey you are right i'm knackered.  But things keep happenin and I can't just stop. Grrr!  Xmas will be quite relaxing at Tims sisters on the day itself and then picking up little un on the 26th, mates over for dinner on the 27th.  Think thats it.  Not too stressful.  Just not done all my shopping/ writing of the cards and I have tims and my friedns birthday before xmas too!

Ah!

Toad is coming along nicely... you didn't even comment at this moumental occasion... me cooking!!

12 weeks tomorrow... oh that must be a lovely feeling!!  Your not far behind Lily!!


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Actually I did mean to ask you a cookery question oh earth motherly one....

I have always fancied cooking sweet potatoes (yes nearly 35 and have never had them) but I woudn't have a clue what to do with one....any suggestions

KT

ps the Toad sounds yummy


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Oh Katey!!!  Sweet potatoes are my fav!!! Just peel and chop them up and pop them in the oven with some oil on about an 8 (so they go crispy) and then dish them up..... Mmmmmm so much nicer than potatoes and less hassle.  Or you can boil them and mash with butter and milk .....  I love it on top of a shepards pie!!  Oh you must go out now and buy some!!  Go on then!! Oh I feel like jamie oliver now!!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Blimey, before long we'll have the FF cookery book! Hopefully DH won't see this, but I reckon I could eat your meal Laura! To be fair to him though, it's the smell of his cooking that puts me off and my own cooking come to that. I wonder if they do meals on wheels for us?

You really are like a whirlwind Laura. Really don't know where you get your energy from, what with all this partying. Is Tim veggie too? Hope he enjoyed the roast.

Yippee Robin's back! Did he climb up the drainpipe with his box of chocolates?

I've got a headache tonight and I'm really hot. My worst fear is a cold coming. Had to sit with loads of coughing, pregnant women today and their sneezing toddlers. DH wasn't keen either. The waiting room was really hot, no windows and full of bugs. We were waiting for over 2 hours! Hard on DH as he normally holds his breath when he pops into the GP surgery to put the repeat prescription in, just in case he catches anything; you can imagine his turmoil today!

I was reading about the nuchal scan today too KT, as they've booked mine for 08 Dec (12wk3d). I'm petrified it'll suggest an amnio is necessary. The hospital also took 7 vials of blood today for so many things I can't remember, eg my sugars, anaemia, syphilis, etc. The more I get into this, the more I am shocked anyone has a healthy baby! I had thought it was a miracle to see the two lines on the tester but it now feels like it'll be a miracle to ever reach my train destination. Think my problem is I'm so excited to tell some close people (mum, nan, friends etc) but I want to wait until major issues have passed and the nuchal scan is one of them to me - so now it's drawn out even longer as I've just found out the results for that test aren't until 2 weeks after the test. I think people might have worked it out for themselves by then.

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well I am going to see if I can get the nuchal scan privately here in Leicester with my old Dr...a mum at my nursery told me today that's what she did and she said it was really thorough and the results came in same day. I would refuse an amnio - there is no way! 

The hot thing could be progesterone - I am hot all the time. Don't panic.

So basically Laura, a sweet potato is like a normal potato with regard to how it can be cooked?? OK well i'll invest when I shop next. I'm quite excited! Did Tim like the toad

Hugs, Katey


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

My toad is tims favourite dinner!! I don't often cook as I get home later than tim so he does most of it.  You don't need to boil Sweet pots like you do with normal one pre roasting.  They really are so nice!!  Lily do you like sweet pots?  When I buy my house I wil invite you all up for my lovely toad!!

Did you get my email Lily?

I can't help with the scans girls... if my time ever comes goodness I'll practically have my own two OB's with you two a!!

My sis had an amino.  Wasn't nice.  I wouldn't have one I must admit.  Is it just for downs or othe stuff too?  My god daughter has downs ... she is vey cute wouldn't change her for the world.

Tim is veggie by default... but as soon as we go out for dinner he has the biggest bit of steak he can find!!  Poor tim... just easier if we both eat the same.


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

We are all online i think!!!!  How exciting!!


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

You posted at the same time!
Yes I lurve sweet pots. The ultimate is in the oven roasted. If the oven's not on for anything else, I slice in inch chunks and boil, leaving the skins on. At the moment I'm eating lots of thin noodles and cous cous.

Night, love Lily. xx
PS No Laura, no e-mail yet?


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Lily - Hmmmm! its from tims account so have a check its not been blocked as span... def sent it ages ago.  But my comp is a bit poo!!

night night, let me know tom if its not arrived and I'll do it again. XX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hello and top of the morning to you all

I'm off to London (no scan today, just blood tests) so i'll be MIA until later.

Hope you are all good and well....later....Katey xxx


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## buster24 (Jul 11, 2005)

well heres the plan i have to start taking provera BD for 5 days, when bleeing starts i have to commence birth control pil on day three and continue taking it till 3 days before i go to istanbul. 15 days before i go i have to start down reg injections. He said i was to calm down every problem has an answer.
so have requested a private prescription which i can get later this afternoon. so fingers crossed thsi brings it on.
kim


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

There you go Kim, I told you it would be ok.

Lily & Laura - how are you 2 You're both very quiet today!!! Clearly missing me too much!!!

I did get a scan (flashed my pearly whites and he gave in) and my mum (she was with me as Robin is at college) was bowled over by it all. Baby is now approx 5.5 cm and seems to be ok but I was a tad concerned as he/she was not moving as much and measured 2 days behind. The Dr said that his/her chin was too tightly tucked into the chest to get a good measurement and he was happy so I guess I should calm down. But I can't.

Laura...does your cat ever do that thing where he pushes his feet into a cusion continuously like he is walking on the spot Mine is just about doing my head in!

Hugs, katey xxx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Katey - Well yes he does and he has got so much worse!!  He used to just do it to one teddy bear but last few months (maybe since we lsot molly) he does it all night over the duvet on my legs and even if he is not on my legs he keeps me awake as it kind of vibrates the bed!!! Its driving me insane!! and my 2 boy rabbits have started humping eachother??  I have gay incestuous rabbits!!  

Tim is at his work do i am waiting for the call to pick him and his drunk manager up.  

Feel really tired, still no af cystitis has calmed but still stings a bit, only one sachet to drink now??  Please let it go I can't face going to the doctors.

Lily- where are you  

Kim- glad you got some answers. XX


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Wow KT - 12 weeks today - wish I was there! So chuffed you got a scan and so lovely your mum was with you. I should think your little one was just asleep. They're supposed to be asleep 95% of the time. Plus 2 days is still accurate as a few days either side is normal. Do you think you'll ask about the sex when it's time? I desperately want to know.

Laura, cystitis: em isn't that the honeymoon problem - you must have had a good time at your posh hotel  . Either that or you're not drinking enough water! About your rabbits: I was told by a farmer I visited last year that it's quite normal for male members of the animal world (he was discussing cattle) to do that as they're deprived of female company. Not gay, just desperate.

Good news Kim...

Got soaked in the rain today with the trees. Never mind. Went shopping later and then got so tired. Had trouble with evening meal. So I've just had some supper - wait for it: a slice of bread with cheddar and marmite complemented by silverskin pickled onions - amazingly that went down a treat. Now I'm worried as you're supposed to crave marmite if you're electrolytes are imbalanced. Better monitor the situation.... Watched all the foody progs tonight, then Monty Don's growing programme, trying to rehabilitate persistent offenders who are taking drugs. It did my head in! I would have no patience with them at all, especially after the bit where the two year old boy swallowed some heroine he found of his daddy's. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them, especially after they've often started drug taking before even becoming teenagers, but how on earth they are going to change their lives for good when they know no different. I suppose you must come across many similar people in your work Laura - you must have the patience of a saint!

Well better go as it's pessary time.
Love Lily. xx


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## laurab (Apr 17, 2006)

Hello Girls,

Lily - no i don't have patience of a saint I wish i did!!  Hmm the bunnies being desperate!!  He he thats made me laugh! They have had there boys bit removed so i thought we had overcome their love fustration.. obviously not!!

Well I had my Acupuncture today, it went well I only nearly cried!!  Thats good for me.  She was very nice and did quite a full assessment of me... asked me about my poos and everything!!  She said I seem very healthy maybe my cycle could be longer but seemed to think generally i was in good physical health.    She was concerned about my cystitis and said my pluse was very fast due to the infection, she put some pins in my legs, toes and on  my pubic bone!  was fine didn't hurt.  She is going to work on my anxiety and sleep and general 'balance' today she concentrated on my cystitis.  She put needles in my inner wrist to life my mood!

Am shattered today though as tims boss stayed and was up til 3am and then had work today. 

Anyway I need to wrap my mates pressies for tom, its her 30th and we goin out for dinner.

KT-- where are you?
Kim - Hello!!

XXXXX


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Sorry that I have been absent today. I was just in one of those apathetic moods and I could not be bothered to do anything at all...it's really hard to shake a mood ike that! Must be hormonal. Dh is finally back tonight and I am so so relieved. Finally I can sleep properly without fear of burglars or weirdos.

Isn't the whole Ipswich thing awful. I find it fascinating in one way - I studied psychology and criminology - but so sad and depressing overall.

Aren't I a little ray of sunshine tonight!!??!!

Laura - your rampant bunnies made me laugh too!!! My mum's cat had her bits chopped but she still kept on going outside and raising her rear to all the toms. So we took her back to the vet and it transpired that they had not done the job completely and she was still...mmm...earthy! Needless to say she was back in there in a flash!

Hope you had a nice time out this evening and the acupuncture sounds wild!! Do you feel anything at all?

Lily - How you feeling Nearly 9 weeks now!!!! Still hankering after marmite (which, incidentally, is GROSS)! Not much longer to have to deal with those trees...i'll be glad when you are not wrestling them.

I am off for a shower...it's pessary time - yippee. But ony for 4 more days as I am being weened off. Also only 27 more steroids to take. Hurrah!

Catch up later

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Ah ha the disappeared return. I gave up checking on you two at 7pm! Lovely to hear from you.

Laura, glad the acupuncture went well. Did you feel really, I mean REALLY relaxed? You'll probably get even more out of it next time, when you're not so tired (post Tim's boss). I was told to drink extra water after my goes. Did yours mention it? When's the next session?

Hi Katey, so when are they calling you in for help? Perhaps the Suffolk team are waiting till they completely run out of answers before they call in the KT mind.... Now, not to make you feel icky, but I've had marmite all day today (mid morning, lunch and for supper again!) - I think I've got a problem. When you say you're being weaned off the pessaries, are you actually reducing the dose for a while? I've been told that at week 11, I'm to cut the pessaries in half and just have 200mg/d for a week, then stop. Are you still feeling nauseous? Glad Robin the protector is back   .

Put our own tree up today - smells so lovely: strangely of peeled satsumas! Other than that I've done a lot of paperwork that needed doing. Spoke to my auntie, nan and sister, but still I can't tell them . It's driving me a bit mental, but I know I must wait.

Pessary time. Yummy!

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

I too am having a festive day and erecting the tree...it smells more like a dusty garage than peeled satsumas though!

Went to the midwife. My 'long' meeting was 20 mins only and not terribly enlightening. Had some blood taken, answered a few ?'s and that was that. Wow wee not. Nice lady though.

What are you all up to Nice dinner out Laura Marmite Lily (!!)

KT


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi ladies,
KT - why a dusty garage? I thought you bought fresh each year: you're obviously not getting your tree from the right place?!  I've learnt a tip for next year for you. When I was getting the trimmings from their box, on top of them was a bundle of 15cm cinnamon sticks which I'd added clove and orange incense to last year. I placed the bundle in the kitchen and to my surprise all the tinsel smells of it too in the lounge now, so now the tree is really fruity - nice. I know where I'm keeping the bundle again next year.

Laura - Hope you had a great 30th dinner with your friend?

Off for some grub now - scrambled eggs was all I could get excited about tonight. Had the marmite for lunch  .

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Well after scrambled eggs you may be jealous to know that I got chicken fajitas - dh makes them really well. Yummy scrummy. Feel like quite a bloated piglet now though!!

The nursery got my fresh tree this year and we got the pretend one out of the garage. It looks lovely but it's not the same.

Plus I cannot see the nursery one because I have been banned from going there due to a mass outbreak of chickenpox. I got it when I was 32, (thanks to nursery and never had it as a child), but, even so, they do not want me there.

I really like your tip. I will do the same. You put it in the box of trimmings Nice. Maybe could so the same in my bed linen cupboard, towel cupboard, knicker drawer.....mmmm.

Laura - have you run away?? Kim??

Katey xxx


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

OK I admit I'm jealous - more of your well trained DH though! Mine cooks what I leave out for him, but sounds like yours has got a real skill there.

Reckon Laura must be having a super knees up - enjoying herself FAR too much to show up on this thread 'til midnight  .

DH and I had a disagreement tonight about the tree light mode - he prefers just 'on' - whoopy do! I prefer 'random' - one minute fading slowly, the next like a disco. He won in the end as he just couldn't cope!

I'm pleased you're staying away from the nursery. I'm sure Laura will agree that as cyber aunties we most certainly cannot allow our future niece/nephew to go anywhere near the nursery until the last spot has wizened completely!

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Forgive me but....I like the tree lights to stay on too! All that flicking on and off makes me dizzy!

I bet Laura likes the disco mode...she is a party girl!


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

Hi

I feel quite abandoned...where is eveyone (except Laura who will  not be around this w/e)

The baby has put me in such a crabby mood again today! I am hell to be around - especially if I happen upon a bad driver!! I am getting nausea back too - hilarious as I havn't had it for ages....I like it though, puts my mind at rest a bit.

What have you been up to Lily & Kim In fact, where has Kim gone?

Off for a sit down....Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey!
That makes a change   it's usually me feeling abandoned! I hear Laura's entertaining again - I vote her the hostess with the mostess - including oodles of energy and obviously lots of charm. It tires me out just thinking about getting ready to go out!

Sorry to hear you're feeling crabby KT - although I don't know why I'm sorry as it's good news. If it reassures you any - I am too.

I've been to 2 houses this week and been instantly offered wine as we walked through the door. I had my excuses ready, but could I get them out - No! I just asked for some water and looked at their puzzled faces - I just couldn't lie. Anyway, everyone's being polite and not saying anything.... for now.

Hope you're having a restful evening.

Love Lily. xx


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## kateyl (Jun 12, 2005)

9 weeks today...congrats!!!

I have the headache to end all so i'm off to bed. I think I am nervous about the scan tomorrow. Please pray that my little one is ok.

Night

Katey


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Of course I'm praying - do let us know asap! although I'm confident you are fine - crabby, nauseous and all.

Sleep well honey!

Lots of love, Lily. xx
PS If you get chance could you ask him to point the camera over my way and see if mine's still there?


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## LilyAnne (Oct 18, 2003)

Hi Katey,
Was just wondering, with the NT scan today, was it just a normal scan as far as the patient's concerned with jelly on tummy etc, or TV? Glad it all went well.

No doubt you're resting after a day on the high street. I've done quite a bit of shopping online this year - couldn't be doing with all the pushing and shoving. Did you buy anything exciting?

Bye for now, Love Lily. xx


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=78861.0


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