# New girl's story...



## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum,  don't  really know where to start really... Having read some of your stories over the last couple of hours, i've realised that i am no longer alone in my so far disheartening quest for pregnancy.
I'll attempt to tell my story so far without going on too long! I came off the pill about 2ish years ago as I had menstrual problems. We weren't actively trying to get pregnant straight away but I assumed it would happen naturally fairly soon. As the months went by and my menstrual problems continued, I started to get concerned about my lack of pregnancy. As I had had gynae/menstrual problems for years and some other minor health issues, i assumed the fertility problems were mine. 
I was referred to a Gynae who prescribed drugs for my menstrual problems, said it sounded like i had endometriosis and referred me for an ultra-sound to check for PCOS. I also mentioned that i had come to see her because not only were my periods becoming increasingly debilitating but also because i seemed unable to get pregnant and i assumed the 2 were related. In fairness to the gynae consultant she was very efficient and referred my partner for semen analysis, (to his horror!) sent me for day 21 blood tests to confirm whether i was ovulating or not and she also put me on the waiting list for a laparoscopic dye test to check the patency of my fallopian tubes and detect any endometrosis/or unterine scarring. I had the ultra-sound fairly quickly and was told that everything with my ovaries looked normal and healthy   I had to wait 6 months for the date for the laparoscopy to come through (apparently that is the max time they are allowed to make you wait) During those 6 months, we continued to try to conceive naturally with no result and my husband sent a sample in for semen analysis. We also got married in that time in July 2011   I had the laparoscopic test days after i returned from honeymoon (nothing like returning to earth with a bump!) I saw the Dr briefly before the procedure and mentioned that we hadn't as yet had the results of husbands semen analysis, although it had been performed months before. The Dr said she would look into it for us. Straight after the procedure, a Dr came round to tell me that my fallopian tubes were fine, no blockages or scarring. They had detected old endometriosis but it was no longer big enough to laser and would not to be a problem. They had, however, checked my blood test and confirmed that i wasn't ovulating. They assured me that i could take drugs to correct this and that it wasn't necessarily a problem. I was all for starting the drugs then and there but they wanted me to wait to see the gynae consultant in clinic to discuss first (when i wasn't groggy after an anaesthetic). I felt relieved that they had found the problem and it seemed to be fixable but a bit frustrated that i had to wait for the medication. The Dr also said that they couldn't find a record of my husbands semen analysis so they would look into it and write to us. I was not concerned as in my mind, they had found the problem and could now start trying to fix it. My husband was very laid back about the whole thing and basically told me to be patient. I had an appointment through about 7weeks later. 
During the time between the laparoscopy and our next appointment we recieved a letter stating that they had detected a 'slight abnormality' in my husbands semen analysis and they wanted to do a 'wash & swim' test for further analysis. I don't remember being particularly concerned at this point as we didn't think it sounded too serious. I also remember my husband trying to reassure me by saying that they had probably lost his first sample and just didn't want to admit it!   Like a compliant husband anyway, he produced another sample and this time i phoned the department for the results, only to be told that we had to wait to discuss the results with the Dr in clinic. 
I arrived on Sept 26th last year to see my consultant and was told that her registrar would be taking the out patients clinic that afternoon. I had no problem with this as i had received excellent care so far. The registrar didn't seem to have read my notes for a start, when he did start to read them in front of me, I had to tell him what tests i had had done so far and when he couldn't find a record of my ultra-sound scan, i had to tell him the results!! Then we asked about my husbands wash and swim results to which he looked blank! He then had to send a nurse out to try and find the results so we were kept waiting, sitting opposite him in silence. When the nurse finally came back with the print out, the Dr merely glanced at it and said that everything was fine. My husband was thrilled (i think he wanted to punch the air and shout YESSS!) I however did not understand why the first test had been abnormal and this one was not. I asked the Dr to explain this and he started talking about concentrates and things i did not understand. I asked him to explain again as i didn't understand to which he seemed far too busy and important to do and merely repeated exactly the same spiel. I felt really frustrated as he made me feel stupid which is not the case. Like all of you have, i imagine, I have done a lot of research on Infertility and so felt that i had some basic understanding so there was no reason i shouldn't be able to understand the results of the semen analysis. The Dr did not seem interested in helping me to understand anyway. He prescribed 3 months of Clomid to help me ovulate and told me to come back for 2 months of day 21 blood tests which they would review and see me again in the gynae clinic in approx 3 months. Coming out of the hospital that day I was pretty annoyed at the registrar for making me feel stupid but tried to put it out of my mind and be positive that i now had the ovulation drugs so nothing could stop us conceiving (or so i thought...) 
I remember wondering briefly why we weren't being referred to the fertility services but thought maybe they viewed it as a gynae problem so didn't worry about it. I was desperate for my period to start (first time in my life) so i could begin taking Clomid. After i had come on and taken the drugs accordingly i worked out when i was likely to ovulate, i remember my husband being very involved at this point and even suggesting we make a chart. I bought ovulation prediction strips and early pregnancy test strips from Ebay so we were well prepared I. even put a reminder in both of our Blackberry's to mark my ovulation week (like i would forget!!) Day 14 came and the Ovulation predictor told me i would ovulate in the next 12-24 hours, the joy i felt was amazing. I had confirmation that the drugs had worked and thought, this is it, i am going to get pregnant this month! When it came down to actually having sex that first time on day 14, it was unbelievably awkward. My husband made some remark beforehand that it was time to go upstairs and make a baby. It just felt so prescribed and I felt really nervous and awkward. I thought maybe it was just me who was feeling this way so tried to just get on with it. My husband was obviously feeling the same and said he couldn't go through with it, it felt too weird. Although i felt the same, i couldn't help but be disappointed and worried that we'd lost our window. I think we'd both been suffering with nerves but thankfully we managed to overcome them .  My husband suggested that next time i not tell him that i'm ovulating so it felt more natural then. Coming on after the first month on Clomid was really distressing, I had been sure it would work. Subsequent months brought more negative pregnancy tests and 2 more periods before i had run out of Clomid.

I had been due to have my next appointment with gynae 3 months after the last one but hadn't heard anything from them and as i had now run out of Clomid, I saw this as time wasted! I had an appointment through which was then cancelled and basically then we received 6 appointments through the post and 5 cancellations. The last appointment they sent was for June 2012 which would have been nearly 9 months after I had last been seen and only given 3 months worth of Clomid. I phoned the hospital booking clerk and complained and thankfully she took pity on me and managed to get me an appointment for 26th March (which was Monday) 
I assumed that the appointment would be fairly routine and they would just give me another prescription for Clomid. How wrong could i be?! Thankfully the consultant herself was taking the clinic, not her registrar. The first thing she said was to apologise because apparently i shouldn't have been sent back to her. She said I didn't need to see her again as they had ruled out a gynae problem. She said i should've been referred to fertility instead. I then found out that the fertility clinic has a 6 month waiting list just for an initial appointment and so i had not only waited 6 months for an unnecessary gynae appointment but would now have to wait a further 6 months to see the fertility specialists. All down to the ineptitude of her disinterested registrar. Unfortunately we do not have the funds to pay for treatment privately so we are at the mercy of the NHS.
Then she proceeded to talk about my husbands poor sperm results. I told her that the reg had told us in clinic last time in no uncertain terms that there were no problems with my husbands sperm at all, it was completely normal. The gynae Dr looked uncomfortable and said this wasn't the case and that although his count was above average, he only had 8% normality.   She said that this wasn't her domain and she was by no means an expert on fertility but she felt that the kind of result would mean being referred for IUI. The look on her face and the fact that she kept asking my husband if he was ok made me think, hang on a minute, this is serious! I couldn't believe it. We had been so happy when we were told that his sperm was ok, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I then asked if she would prescribe me more Clomid for the meantime as we probably wouldn't see the fertilty Drs for quite sometime. She reviewed my previous blood tests and confirmed that i had ovulated but my progesterone levels were extremely high in December which could indicate that i'd had an early miscarriage or some other probs so she didn't want to prescribe anymore drugs until the fertility team had seen us and done some follicle tracking. I couldn't believe it, in one breath the Dr had told us that not only were we unlikely ever to get pregnant naturally but that i may have already been pregnant without knowing and miscarried. I came out of the appointment on Monday mainly feeling angry at the registrar for giving us false hope and ultimately delaying us by 6 months. I think in some ways, both my husband and myself needed someone to be angry at as it meant that we could project all of our negative thoughts/feelings onto that. Other than express anger, we didn't talk about our situation and have just kept ourselves busy. 

Surprisingly, i didn't cry until the next day. I saw my GP on Tues about something unrelated and mentioned our situation and the poor conduct of the registrar. I just wanted her opinion as to whether i should make a formal complaint. I hadn't realised how much i'd been holding my feelings in until then and broke down. Thankfully, i have a lovely GP who was very sympathetic and encouraged me to let it all out.  She agreed that we had been treated poorly and if anything, she encouraged the complaint. She also promised to write to the fertility clinic explaining the situation. She couldn't promise that it would definitely speed up the referral but she said it definitely wouldnt hurt. My GP managed to restore my faith in the NHS somewhat.
  
Over the last couple of days my husband and i have just kept ourselves busy and not actually talked about any of it. I feel so alone, i don't know how to talk to him about this because i'm worried he won't understand how i'm feeling.  I know how selfish this sounds and of course I care about how he is feeling too. The best way to describe it is it feels like i'm grieving. Grieving for what might have been a miscarriage and grieving for the loss of a chance at natural conception and worst case, possibly never having children. Does anyone else feel like that?
I just don't know how i am going to cope, waiting for our fertility appointment. It seems that everywhere i look, there are babies or pregnant women. My sister is heavily pregnant with her 3rd child and she has PCOS!! I am ashamed to say that i am jealous and resentful of natural ability to conceive with ease. I just keep thinking, why me? Have i done something wrong? 

I grew up believing not only would i have children, but lots of them. I come from a large family and imagined i would carry on the trend. Having fallen in love with and married a man 11 years my senior, who does definitely want children but not a big family due to his age, i have had to come to terms with the fact that i will probably never have the big family i would so dearly love. This alone has been really hard to deal with but now I fear I will have to come to terms with never having children at all and I just don't think I can do that. 

I would really appreciate hearing other people's stories,  i'm sure i can't be the only one feeling this way. I’ve joined this forum for support really during this really trying time in my life. I would also appreciate some info from anyone who’s had similar problems or who’s undergone IUI. Thanks for reading my story so far, sorry for going on a bit! I
Lyndsey xx


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Hello Lindsey
I am really sorry to hear about your problems.      Unfortunately, I don't think it's unusual to wait about lots for the NHS to get into gear, but you seem to have had a particularly bad experience. It is natural to be upset about the thought that you won't have a natural conception (I was devastated when we had to face up to having IVF) but you don't know that you will need treatment for definite, and even if it does turn out to be the case that you need it, I promise you that you won't care how your baby was conceived when you hold it in your arms.    

The positive thing about your story is that you have already had quite a few tests, so that should help move things along more quickly when you get your fertility specialist appointment.  

But mainly I just wanted to say that it is far too early to give up hope.  There are lots of options open to you, and there are also things which you and your DH can do (diet, supplements, lifestyle, complementary therapies etc) to try and maximise your chances either when ttc naturally or if you go on to have treatment- and this site is a mine of information.  While you are waiting for your next appointment, it is a good chance to get yourselves into the best possible physical shape. It can take at least 3-4 months for changes to have an effect. I found that taking action myself by sorting out our diet and taking supplements etc helped me feel more in control as, when you are at the beck and call of clinic appointments, it is very easy to feel that everything is totally out of your control, and that is very hard to deal with.

Good luck, and hang on in there.    

Ellie


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## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Thanks for finding some positives to my story, Ellie. That has given me some hope! I will try to use the waiting time productively although i think the emotions are a bit too raw right now to be thinking rationally. I am overweight and unfit, that is something i know i need to get sorted to give us the best chance. 
Just writing my story down has helped a bit, i feel slightly less like i'm about to explode with emotion! I guess i've just been feeling that getting pregnant now seemed impossible but seeing that you now have 2 children after fertility treatment has made me feel more positive  So glad to have joined this site. Thanks again for the support. 

Lynz x


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Lyndsey26!!! Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

Sorry that you had a bad experience with the registrar and the administration of the clinic in general. Stories like this make my blood boil. How could they have got it so wrong? I am glad you have got an understanding GP and I hope your complaint gets investigated properly and no one else will have to go through what you went through.

I think most of us can relate to how you are feeling about all the pregnancies around you, I know I can. I remember leaving Ikea in tears because it seemed that everyone in there was pregnant. I have lost a few friends because they didn't understand why I couldn´t see them as much while they were pregnant. I think it is hard for people without fertility issues to understand. There is a Coping With Infertility section that you might find useful ~ CLICK HERE

Here are a few general links that I think might help you.

IUI chat ~CLICK HERE

Male factors ~ CLICK HERE

The Mens Room ~ CLICK HERE If you hubby gets to the stage where he wants to talk to other men about what he is going through. It might also be useful for you to read.

Regional boards - CLICK HERE There you can talk to others undergoing treatment in your area.

What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~   CLICK HERE

Our live chat room has a new member chat at 8pm on Wednesday. Here is our Chat Zone section which will give you info on other chats: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows of treatment together.

Good luck!         

Sue


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## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi Wraakgodin, thanks for the welcome and support. I only joined last night but have already got so much out of this site. I think the main thing is not feeling so alone in my problems now. 
With regard to the conduct of the registrar, i am trying to distance myself from the anger at him i feel. My GP made a good point about how holding onto so much anger would make me ill and instead, i should look at the complaint in a positive light, ie as an educational exercise for the Registrar and to stop mistakes happening in the future. I haven't managed to let go of  the anger yet but i am trying! I look forward to getting to know everyone  

Lynz xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi Lynz,

Sorry to read about your experiences, it sounds terrible. Big hugs.   Where are you based? Can't believe you have to wait so long. We went to the GP a few weeks ago & have our first appointment at the Ninewells (Dundee) infertility clinic at the end of May. Thank goodness - every month that goes by is another month that I feel I should be pregnant. Yes it does seem like everyone else is pregnant!   So not fair!

I understand about your hubby. Men deal with things differently to us, they don't want to talk about it and share their feelings like we do. But theres more pressure on them because its so private that he's one of the only people you can talk to about it! We have used the OPKs as well and found it to be too much pressure for him. My hubby said "I wish you hadn't told me you were ovulating!" and he struggled to get the job done. Poor men! And my hubby hasn't even had to give any samples yet. He's also got a massive needle phobia, which I think he might struggle with when we begin treatment. I got him to come in with me when I got my bloods taken, & even though he couldn't see what was going on, he said he felt sick.   Yes men are complicated creatures. But they are just as upset and disappointed as us, just trying to be strong for us maybe.

Really hope you get your appointment sooner. Maybe we could be treatment buddies! I'm also starting acupuncture at the end of May - anything to help the cause! 

Take care,
Kirsty.xx


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## Lisafoxey33 (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi good luck hun.. It's a waiting game we have been told we must be patience!!we have been trying for 2 yrs & my hubby had twosperm tests this year do far,to hiß horror he has low mortality means they don't swim very far!! Very slow in moving, my turn for investigation now basic blood test tomorrow then on the list to see another person this can take up to 16 weeks or so.i know each month it's awful when check in the toilets & discover you have come on.we have purchased an ovulation monitor been using it for a year I can't see that it makes any difference to be honest.it does annoy me when you see folks getting pregnant at work saying they only tried for a couple weeks!!but some hsve more luck than others.we shall see keep your chin up it will happen when the time is right its mother nature as well!! X


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## frogspawn (Nov 18, 2011)

HI Lyndsey
i read your story and was nodding all the way through as i spent a year waiting for appointments and results. After trying to have a HSG for 3 months in a row and being told that they only do it on 2 days a week neither of which worked within the 10 day window of my period i was under so much stress that i went to the gp and started crying at which point she promised to get me a Lap & Dye sorted quickly. My husband had to do about 6 samples in 6 months due to different reasons ( he was told that the second had followed on too close to the first, then the next one was apparently spoiled, then they moved the testing centre to another hospital without telling him and there wasn't enough time to get it to the new site, and finally the last one disappeared completely)!! We laugh about it all now but we were completely stressed out about it all at the time. When we finally got referred to a fertility clinic we had some blood tests done and then sat about for 4 months awaiting the results only to be told when I finally rang up that we needn't wait as 'they just go in the file..'  Recently i have had to wait 4 months for an appointment to see an nhs consultant again after asking to be referred for a hysteroscopy as advised by my private fertility clinic. The first appointment was cancelled and then when i eventually got to the gynae clinic the consultant was away and my gp's secretary had not attached the letter from the clinic to the gp so the consultant had not seen it and noone could refer me!! after waiting another 4 weeks i finally got a date through and had the procedure on Wednesday and am not waiting for the results!! Luckily I have asked to have all communication between the hospital and the gp copied to me so that some gp secretary can't just file it away without informing anyone!!

I try to stop getting too depressed about the waiting game by getting on with other things in my life and enjoying spending time with my family. It is hard to watch other people being pregnant but when it comes to family it is not worth getting too upset about as it is not their fault! I have a wonderful 3 1/2 year old neice who I love seeing whenever i can and look forward to seeing how much she has grown up and though i occasionally get a tear in my eye i do not allow it to spoil my relationship with any of them! 

Good luck and I hope you get everything you wish for soon!

Jess x


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## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi Scotgirl, i'm based in South Wales. Do you mind me asking if you are paying privately for your treatment or NHS? Unfortunately we are at the mercy of the NHS and so the waiting game is part of it! I have been told that the waiting list for fertility services here is 6months :-( I am hoping though that as we already have had a lot of tests, once we have the initial appointment out of the way, the actual treatment can begin soon after. Maybe that's wishful thinking?   I'm glad that myself and my DH aren't the only ones who've struggled with the idea of the OPK and sex on demand   Needless to say, i don't mention dates anymore. With regard to the men and giving of samples, it was surprisingly painless for him (or so he said) I thought it would be more traumatic and he may suffer from performance anxiety but we just made a joke of the whole thing! It was pretty hilarious actually because the sample has to be delivered within an hour of producing it and I had to get 2 buses to the hospital to deliver it so it was a case of my DH upstairs 'producing' the sample and me downstairs waiting with my coat on ready to run out of the door with it. They also say you should keep it at body temperature so i had to put it my bra. Further hillarity! This is what you and your DH have to look forward to   Your DH will be pleased to know that the most invasive tests are done on the woman and his main job will be producing samples. V little to do with needles (this is our experience so far anyway) Acupuncture sounds interesting! Is this available on the NHS or are you paying privately? Would love to be treatment buddies   I really appreciate the support on here. I find it hard to talk about this with anyone, including my DH to a degree. Need to sit down and have a big chat i think. Good luck to you too!

Hi LisaFoxey, it's not a nice feeling finding out your partner doesn't have perfect sperm, is it!? My partner and i only found out 6 days ago about his and i am still coming to terms with it. To be honest, i'm not sure of the true extent of his feelings on the matter but plan to initiate a conversation about it tonight   Some would say at least it's a diagnosis and once the Drs know what's what, they can then start to help. Good luck with the beginning of the tests on you, I can say that all the tests i've had have been pretty painless. Yes, the waiting game is the worst part in some ways! I just want things to happen TODAY! I feel like all these months waiting around are months i could be pregnant! Ho hum. I'm trying to use the time productively by trying to get my body in good shape (everything helps) so am starting a diet/get fit plan tomorrow as i am overwieght. Good luck with the bloods tomorrow and i hope your next appointment comes around soon!

Hi Frogspawn
Sounds like you've had a similar nightmare experience with the NHS as i have! It amazes me that they manage to get away with these things! Well done for keeping strong though. I too am trying to get by by keeping busy. I find most days in work i am ok as i have a lot to get on with but i find the evenings at home the hardest as i can't stop thinking about it all and i get plagued by the what if i never get pregnant thoughts.   I have 2 nieces (6 and 2) and a nephew on the on the way. I love spending time with them but also know what you mean about the occasional tear in your eye. When i'm with them i just have to keep telling myself that this will happen to me someday and maybe LisaFoxey is right, mother nature will make it happen when the time's right?! Goodluck to you too and thank you for sharing your story xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi Lynz,

So far we're going through the NHS, but theres always the chance we might run into waiting lists for some of the investigations/ treatments. Hopefully we will find out more at our appointment on the 31st May. We've got the GP on the 16th of April to find out about my blood samples. I've heard its very expensive to pay privately for ICSI so hopefully we will not have to do that, yes I would probably prefer to wait 6 months and have money to spend on the new baby, if it came down to it. Just as long as it is going to happen sooner or later, hopefully sooner! I'm going for acupuncture privately, it costs around £40 for a 2-hour session. I'll let everyone know how it goes and if it helps in any way.

So you're in Wales? England's NHS is SO different from Scotland. I've got family in Liverpool and my sister didn't get her first smear test until she was 25. She had abnormal cells and needed a procedure to laser them off! Its terrible, we seem to have it a bit better in Scotland. I don't know what Wales is like though. But my GP says that Ninewells is one of the best infertility clinic, so thats quite reassuring. Even though I HATED the sound of being referred to the INfertility clinic! Fertility clinic would've done fine.  

Haha, thats funny that you had to take the sample on the bus!   I've heard that it stays nice and warm tucked in the armpit.   I believe that my hubby will have to produce his sample at the clinic, so he is probably quite nervous about it. Thats good that he doesn't have anything to do with needles. 

Well I really hope your treatment begins soon after you next appointment. I'm joining the diet club on FF so I can get my weight down for my clinic appointment. I read on here that you don't get free treatment on the NHS if you're not within a healthy BMI range. My BMI is under 30 but I could work on getting it within 20-25, about a stone to lose. It might even help us to concieve naturally. 

I'm a bit worried about the invasive tests. I'm very private and don't even like getting changed in from of my sisters! I suppose I'll just have to get over it.   

Good luck ttc naturally.   Everyone says "Enjoy it!" but its so difficult to enjoy when you know theres certain better positions and you want to put your legs up after for half an hour and try not to laugh or cough!   Omg - we will all laugh about this one day, I hope!

Kirsty.xx


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## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi Kirsty,

Yeah, i think it's A LOT of money to go privately cos you have to pay for each Drs appointment, each blood test and procedure, any drugs they prescribe etc. We just don't have that sort of spare money unfortunately. My worry is that you can only have so much treatment on the NHS before you've had your allowance. I'm trying not to think too negatively though. 

Can i ask what blood tests your GP has done? Think i'm going to book an appointment to see mine and get whatever bloods need doing done before I get to see the fertility gods. £40 for 2 hours is pretty reasonable i think, how often do they reccomend you go to see an effect? 

I grew up in England but moved to Wales about 6years ago so i have experience with NHS in both although only fertility services in Wales. The age for smear tests in Wales is 20 which is great, i've heard too many horror stories from people in England having to wait til they're 25 and finding abnormalities. Also, we get free prescriptions here which is brill. I don't know much about Wales and there policy on ICS/IVF allowances but i will let you know when we see a specialist. 

Don't worry too much about the tests, the ones i've had done so far haven't been that bad. I had a basic vaginal examinaton (not pleasant but not painful and over v quickly) A pelvic ultra-sound to check for PCOS, fibroids, abnormalities etc (happy to report all fine) You didn't have to show too much either, from what i can remember they just lift your top up to under your boobs and lower your trousers down but they don't actually see anything. A lap and dye test where they put you to sleep and go in key hole surgery so just a little incision through your belly button and one small one just above your pubic area. Basicially they just check everything out and put some dye through your fallopian tubes to check they're not blocked or scarred or anything. They also checked me for endometriosis cos of the symptoms i'd had. (All fine again) This procedure was probably the most invasive as you have to be put to sleep but it was all fine, very groggy and had some stomach pain/bloating for a couple of days after but they gave me good pain killers! Def have this done if they suggest it, best way of checking everything out! 
Apart from that i've just just had numerous blood tests to check my general health and whether i'm ovulating (which i wasn't) and then a couple of day 21 blood tests to check whether i was ovulating after taking Clomid (which i was) 

So far alls my husband has had to do is produce 2 samples for S/A. Lucky him! I feel sorry for your husband having to produce his at the clinic, that might add a bit of pressure. I believe that they have 'props' in most clincs though to help  

I am very overweight, it's no excuse but i'm an emotional eater so all this stress doesn't help. I bought a special 'body analyser' weighing scale today, tells you your weight, BMI, Fat % content and water % content. It's made me go, WOAH! I need to lose weight! I thought my BMI was 34 but found out today it's is 35.5 so need to get it down a lot before i can have treatment. I'm going to use the 6 months waiting time to lose weight and get fit. I will also join the FF group! All this will help conception as well should I be lucky enough for it to happen naturally.

With regards to ttc naturally, it does take a bit of the fun out of sex sometimes. I try to not let it get in the way though. I decided that i'd feel too stupid and not sexy putting my legs up straight after sex in front of my husband so i've become quite adept at running to the bathroom straight after and doing it there. Who needs cuddles after?   The things we do, eh? Haha.

Lynz xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi Lynz, 

I'm not sure how often I'll be going for acupuncture. I got my bloods taken on day 28 (because I'm about a 35-day cycle) to check my progesterone levels. They took 2 samples but I don't know what the other one was for. The procedures don't sound too bad from what you've described.

Yes I comfort eat as well and its soooo difficult not to when going through all this. I'm glad you're going to join the group as well - we can be diet buddies!   You just have to message a moderator and they will give you access. I'm going to start as soon as I get my period. I'm still on my 2ww, but all the pg tests are coming back negative. So I think my body is playing tricks on me and I should get my period any day now.  

So what do you do for work? I'm a residential childcare worker, I work in a house with kids ages 8, 10 and 14. They are fab and I get to play mummy! 

Take care,
Kirsty.xx


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## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Hi Kirsty, 
I've learnt the hard way that doing PG tests during my 2ww can get a bit obessive and stress me out! So I now don't do a test til I'm officially late (well I try not to!) Not that it makes me feel any better when I do finally come on. I'm due next weekish (unfortunately I'm not that regular without Clomid) 
l'll join the weight loss group tonight after work!  My husband is going to help me with the exercise part and force me to go on long walks with him and the dog, starting tonight! 
I'm a student nurse, I  spend 6 weeks out in practice then 6 weeks in lectures throughout the course. Atm I'm on placement in The Endoscopy Unit which is interesting. Doing a day placement in theatre today. I also work part time in a pub at the w/e, just to make ends meet! I'm glad I'm so busy really, it helps me to stop dwelling on everything! 
Your job sounds really rewarding, I love the idea of working with children! I'd like to train to be a health visitor once I qualify but It really depends on what happens with the fertility treatment, not sure being around all those new borns would be  the best thing for me if I still couldn't get pregnant! Ho hum, positive thinking!  . Lynz xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi Lynz,

Yeah you're right, I've wasted a lot of money on pg tests!    But I suppose I am officially late now so I might try 1 again tomorrow morning.    for a positive!!

Wow, sounds like you're really busy just now. I did placements and teaching blocks when I did my social work and it was so stressful. I've cut back recently - I was working full-time until the new year when I handed in my notice and now I'm just doing relief. It was way too stressful at the house I used to work at - I'm at a much nicer house now.   The kids are fab. So I've got time on my hands to worry about all this stuff!  

Thats great that your hubby is gonna help you get fit. My hubby recently started going to spin class with me, to support my health and fitness. He loves it now and hes lost over a stone!   Hes a strange creature that actually enjoys eating salad, so that probably helps!  

Hmm yeah it would be tough being around newborns if you couldn't get pg, especially if they aren't being properly cared for. But you will get pg eventually. You're young yet, we've got plenty time to do rounds of ivf/ icsi if thats what it comes to, until we get our babies.  

Right I'm gonna try and get some sleep tonight, stop thinking about babies!

Kirsty.xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Omg omg omg I got a   this morning! Did a CB digital test & hubby was holding it for ages then it said Pregnant 1-2 weeks!! I cried my eyes out, omg I never thought I would get a BFP ever! I'm in total shock.   Hubby is not convinced after all the BFNs so we're gonna do another one 2moro.

Can't believe it. 

Kirsty.xox


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

oh Kirsty!!!  What amazing news!!! Congratulations!!!!    

Sue


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## Lyndsey30 (Mar 30, 2012)

Amazing news! So pleased for you and your husband. Congratulations Kirsty!! Exciting times ahead Xxx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thank you both so much. Its soooo early days. Just    everything goes ok.

Kirsty.xx


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