# BFN - what do we do now!!!



## smeghead (Jul 2, 2007)

started yesterday 2 days before test date on our first IVF cycle. As you can imagine we are both absolutely devastated and heartbroken  I can't stop crying.  Thinking I'm alright then start crying again, don't know what to do now, just don't know how to pick myself up (DH has been such a support and is such a star I know he is hurting too) and go through another emotional rollercoaster journey of another IVF cycle. Just can't stop thinking why did this have to happen to us.  Life is so unfair.  Lets hope time will heal the pain, and we can make a rational decision in a couple of weeks, because at the moment I am totally irrational about everything.

Love Louise x


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

So sorry you are going through this.  Sadly too many people on here know exactly how you feel.  You may just need some time away from ttc for you and your DH, to regroup and see how you feel later.  For now you will feel very raw and very emotional and thats not just the situation but also the drugs.  It WILL get better xx

Use FF for support from people who have been there, ask anything, scream, rant, whatever you need to do but maybe take up the opportunity to see the counsellor which should be attached to your clinic to talk things through on a one to one?


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## saphy75 (Mar 15, 2004)

Louise, i'm so sorry hun  give it time and you will begin to pick yourself up   in the mean time try to pamper yourself and do lots of crying if you need to. as EBW1969 has said go and see the counsellor if you think it will help you and feel free to rant and rave here as much as you like

pam xx


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Dear Louise

I also found out yesterday that our first cycle didn't work. It's horrible, painful stuff. My friend gave me some very good advice which is to try and break your days down into morning, afternoon and evening, that way you get through it in chunks.

To be honest though, it's rubbish. My tears just keep leaking out of me.

Wishing you all the best.

Mrs S xxx


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## smeghead (Jul 2, 2007)

Mrs S

  So sorry to hear you also got a BFN, it's heartbreaking isn't it.  My thoughts are with you sending you lots of  , I know exactly how you feel.

Yeh it is rubbish, though trying to keep yourself busy does keep your mind off it.

Love Louise x


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Hi Louise

Sending you some back. . I say bring on the weekend. Wine and chocolate helps too xx


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## bexie (Jul 26, 2007)

Dear Louise and Mrs S,

I too had my first BFN a month ago and at the time, felt so upset but had to behave as if nothing had happened as hardly any of my friends or family knew about the tx  Now I'm glad I didn't let it all out as I think it can undermine your core stability in dealing with the next cycle. 

The hard truth is that the first cycle is often a cruel and expensive 'road test' for the next; and at least the fert team now have far more information about what can be achieved and how to adjust the protocol during the next cycle 

So keep in touch with FF.   I've learnt so much and it's kept me really positive during 7 months of waiting and applying huge amounts of time to ttc. I can only believe that we'll all end up in that not so exclusive club that eludes us very soon 

Bx


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## Mrs S (Aug 10, 2007)

Dear Louise

I just wanted to let you know that things have changed dramatically for me in the last 72 hours. Having been told to test on day 14, then followed the two worst days of my life. Anyway, I tested again on day 16, and I am actually pregnant - which is amazing for me, but for you, I feel for you lots as only yesterday I was in that world of pain. And your posts really helped me.

I just wanted to send you a massive hug and say hang on in there. Make sure you do lots of really nice things over the next few weeks (my Mum said I should treat myself like I was my best friend) and I'm sending you lots of baby luck.

Such early days for me I know but what a rollercoaster this whole thing is.


Love Mrs S x


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