# OE adult child having issues with DE plans - help!



## TizzyDub (Feb 2, 2018)

I have a 21 year old daughter with whom I am very close as I was a single mother for most of her life. I found my husband late in life, 5 years ago, my daughter is also close to him, and we want to now have a child together to complete our family of 4. We tried OE ivf and it failed due to egg quality since I'm 45, so we want to move on to DE. My daughter is adamantly against it all, for various reasons, and it is really painful and stressful to think that the one thing I want the most in this later part of my life is something that she gets extreme anxiety over and disagrees with.
Does anyone have any experience with helping their older child come to grips with the DE process? P.S. She wasn't good with us trying for an OE child either. 
Thanks for your help!


----------



## Mandamae (Oct 17, 2007)

Hi Tizzy, didn't want to read and run.


Personally I think it's up to you. You say she wasn't happy with your OE idea/attempt so I think it's just about you having another baby regardless of OE or DE.


I wish you peace and will pray your OE adult daughter will one day understand you. Maybe you could sit her down and ask her why she is against OE and DE?


Go for it, it's your life xx


----------



## Tincancat (Mar 19, 2012)

I'd agree with Mandamae
Sounds more like it's you having another baby at all.  You need to sit down with her and find out exactly the reasons why. Some teenagers are horrified at the thought of parents having a love life.... is it similar for her. 
TCCx


----------



## Tinseltown (Jan 8, 2016)

Some kids find it hard to have a sibling come into their lives. Of course, little toddlers can't really have opinions about mommy being pregnant, as they don't really know what's happening. But older kids do. There's that fear of losing a parent's attention, etc. You'd think that at 21 though... she would be more mature than that.


----------



## Spanglyboo (May 18, 2014)

Ooh this is tricky ! 

Your daughter is coming across a being quite selfish and almost a bit of a ‘brat’ but I think this is probably a really scary thing for her. She has been a only child for a long time so I think she needs time to accept that you have dreams and hopefully she will realise that it will work out fine!

Maybe sit her down kind of tell her that you have dreams just like she has dreams of how life will go and that you may not agree with some other choices just like now she doesn’t agree with you dreams

If it feels right for you then don’t left her put you off and live your life for you!


----------



## TizzyDub (Feb 2, 2018)

Thank you all for your replies! It's not something that I read very much about, so your insights are really valuable to me!


----------

