# Right at the beginning ^



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Hello everybody, i'm very glad that i've found you all!

My partner and I are pretty much at the beginning of our journey through IVF, although it's taken us two years to get this far. We had our third appointment at the hospital yesterday to review all of our test results and we've been given the go ahead for IVF. We're now on the waiting list for my partner to have a MESA. The waiting list for treatment is a year long and i know i should be patient, but i want to scream at the frustration of it all!

I'm 31 and my partner is 54 (although he doesn't look it or behave like it either!). He had a vascectomy 20 years ago after his two kids were born. He had a reversal two years ago. At the time the doctor told us that there was no reason to have the sperm extracted and stored as the was an excellent chance that the reversal would be sucessful. . It wasn't, although we didn't find that out for a while as our GP neglected to inform us of the semen analysis result until we chased them. (The result being negative in most tests is usually good news, so they didn't think it was worth telling us! ). We went back to the GP and told him that we wanted to be referred for treatment. He said fine. That letter sat on his desk for a further three weeks before being sent off, but only after i had rung them to find out why we hadn't heard a squeak from anybody.

Finally our hospital appointments arrived. There we were informed of all of the procedures that we could have and told that we were not going to be given any NHS funding. Oh, what a surprise! Obviously having got two grown up children means that my partner has fulfilled his reproductive quota as far as the NHS is concerned! Anyway after that blow we decided to go ahead anyway. I have a small inheritance from my grandmother that will help to fund a couple of cycles of IVF and we'll go from there. 

All of our test results have come back fine, although i was told that i have polycystic ovaries. I don't know whether this will have any bearing on the treatment we need. So now we have to wait for our Mesa appointment and in the meantime we'll have to plod on as normally as possible and save up our pennies too. 

This site is so wonderfully comprehensive and supportive that I feel that i've found a new friend. Thank you.


----------



## clucky chick (Mar 24, 2006)

nattybean!

Welcome to FF.  There is so much suppport on this site and I, like you, am so glad I found it.  

We have a lot of similarities in our stories - I am 34 - partner 49, he had vas 20 years ago after 3 children. I have had blood tests and have no problems that I know of.  We have just been referred (if it's not still sat on dr's desk!!!  ) and are awaiting out first appt with the hospital.

Where are you being treated?  The waiting list seems to be very long considering you are paying for treatment yourselves.  I am not surprised you are so frustrated.

Anyway, sending loads of    your way and fingers crossed that you get a cancellation 

xx


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you Clucky and the best of luck to you too. 
Our Doctor seems to be suffering from a real state of apathy with this whole business and we've had yet another case of ineptitude today to do with a letter that they sent us a week ago saying that we needed to book an appointment with them. The reason for this was because they had received a letter. Who from and what about we have no idea as it doesn't seem to have been logged in our records.   doh! As usual we have had to chase around and have no clearer idea what the heck is going on. We've made an appointment anyway so hopefully by next Thursday they'll have found the said letter and we won't be wasting our time.

We were referred to "Jimmys" hospital in Leeds, although we live nearer York. The thought had crossed my mind that the wait was rather long considering we are paying for treatment. 

Anyway, I'm still a bit shell shocked about the wait. 

Glad all of you results are back and things are looking good. Sending lots of hugs and best wishes your way!


----------



## Veitchy (Dec 28, 2006)

Hello Nattybean,

I am also in a very similar postion to you.  Me 30, no problems, dh 42, had a vasectomy 15 years ago after having 2 children.  We were advised that a reversal would probably not be successful after 15 years so we decided to go straight for IVF with ICSI.  My dh had his PESA in January and they found some swimmers.  I am now 6 days away from starting my down regging jabs.

Like you we are having to go privately as we are not entitled to treatment on NHS, which is very frustrating    We are having treatment at the Wessex in Southampton?

Like you I have been amazed at our GP's attitude to everything, she did not even know IVF with ICSI was an option for us, I had to tell her, at which point she was very interested as she was in the same situation as her husband had had a vasectomy!!!

Anyway wishing you lots of luck on your journey and keep in touch.

Tracey XXX


----------



## clucky chick (Mar 24, 2006)

Nattybean

interested to hear you live near York as I am actually in York! We were going to get referred to Care in either Sheffield or Nottingham, as they seem to have good results.  However, the distance put me off as think that it will be hard enough trying to get time off work for appts as it is.  A long journey on top of that just seems like a whole load of extra stress.  Good luck x

Tracey

Nice to hear that PESA has been successful.  We didn't go for a vas rev as we went to see consultant and he told us that we had a less than 5% chance of success.  Decided to hedge our bets and put money straight towards ICSI.  Good luck with your tx and sending you lots of   and     x


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Still so angry that the surgeon that did the reversal was so dismissive of sperm retrieval. If i met him on the street i'd kick im right in the ... Since then we've had no end of trouble! BUPA  
We live nearer York than Leeds, but as we went through our doctor we were referred to Jimmys on the NHS. When we got there and the Doctor went through everything that we needed to have done she presented us with a price list. The shock of not being eligable for NHS funding erased everything that we had previously been told. So the talk of PESA and MESA was totally lost. We were shooed out of the room, bewildered about what the heck was going to happen and still reeling with pound signs for treatment of this and that, and then some more circling our heads!

We got a letter about three weeks later for our appointments. Both were addressed in my dp's name. I rang the hospital to find out exactly what the appointments were for. The first appointment was for a pelvic scan (remember, in my partners name, who is a male!)went for this everything, i was told was fine and dandy!  The second was a follow up appointment to discuss the blood test results, hormone levels, rubella etc.

The pelvic scans are still in my partners name, apparently he still has ovaries! And they may be a bit polycystic! Now i'm in banging my head against a brick wall mode!! HELLLP!
So we sit and wait for the next problem to arise!

If we had the pennies and a reliable doctor to go to i'd go private again, to be honest it might cost us less!


----------



## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Hi there *nattybean* and a huge welcome to FF 

Wow, you have had some awful experiences there hun with the hospitals and GP's!  Gawd Damn NHS! My partner and I had a cyle of IVF at the LGI in Leeds as "fee paying" patients, and I wont go into details, but we swore we would never go back there!! We are now private patients at the Cromwell hospital in Darlington. We have had a full IVF cycle at the LGI and a full cycle at the Cromwell, and the price difference was about £1k more privately, however, the treatment we received there, the surroundings, the way we were treated by the staff, the cleanliness etc of the private hospital was worth the extra money!!

Anyway, I will leave you a few links here to some of our boards that you like to have a look at. Feel free to post wherever you like on FF nattybean - you will always be made very welcome 

For IVF General Chitchat *CLICK HERE**

For PCOS (polycyistic ovaries) CLICK HERE

For Male factors in Infertility CLICK HERE

Wel also have an excellent chatroom nattybean - every Friday night is NEWBIE NIGHT, and Dizzi Squirrel and I will be there from 8pm - 9pm to show new members the various functions and have a general chat, and answer any questions you may have. You dont however have to wait until Friday to join in  If you need some help just send myself or Dizzi Squirrel a personal message and one of us can meet you in there for a short one2one session to show you the ropes 

*********

Wishing you lots of        for the journey ahead nattybean

Love and 
Tracy
xx*


----------



## Pickle_99_uk (Dec 12, 2005)

Hiya,

Part of our story are similar as well.  I'm 27 and DH is 46. Hes got 2 daughters from a previous marriage and has had a vasectomy.  We tried to have the vasectomy reversed but it didnt work and we've since had 3 ICSI attempts (using DHs sperm through sperm retreival).  Waiting from one appointment to the next is incredibly frustrating.  You'll find lots of help and support on here!  Fingers crossed for you, 

Tracy xx


----------



## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

hi nattybean and welcome to the site 

Sorry to hear of your problems in trying for a baby. You have come to a fantastic site that offers loads of advice and support and you have been left some great links to try.

Good luck with everything

Kate xx​


----------



## noodlez (Feb 10, 2007)

Hi nattybean and welcome to FF.

Just wanted to wish you lots of luck with forthcoming tx.
My Dh and I are in a similar situation. He has a son from a previous marriage and had a vas 10 years ago. We decided that we wouldn't have a reversal as success rates not that good. Dh had TESE 2 weeks ago and they managed to get 10 straws (still not sure what this means but 10 is a good number)!!!!
Think i'm ok but not had any tests as such yet. We have decided to have ICSI. I have my 1st appointment on 14th March. Isn't the wait frustrating? Drives you  
Let us now how you get on hun.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Noodlez.xx


----------



## max... (Jan 21, 2007)

hi everyone
we are abit like you all. me 36 my DH 59(but also doesn't look or act it)
he has 2 children from previous marriage.vas reversal 7yr ago that was a waste of time.
but successful mesa in November with Mr Joyce in Leeds-9 straws.
Me now- under Mr Rutherford at LGI-(privately)really nice bloke= infact all the staff are.
i have been downregging for 2 Weeks's- no problem and stimmimg for 2 days -no problem.
Really pleased with everything from start hopefully till successful finish,
injections are no problem,side effects are minimal and Mr Rutherford puts everything across in a pleasant and understanding manner because it is a stressfull time and you need to feel at ease about everything. I had a dummy transfer before any drugs were given and he monitors the progress very carefully with an internal scan every visit.
got my next appointment on Thursday so may be ready for egg collection couple of days after that. 
Good luck to everyone
Max. xx


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

I got it wrong we're not at LGI , but at Jimmys with Mrs Sharma. As you can see i'm totally confused as to where our care is based and who to contact about it! The appointments that we have been to have been equally as confusing as the letters sent to us are always in my partners name, despite the fact that we have told the staff there on several occaisions that he is not a woman and it would be nice if we we're both acknowledged! This is filling me with alot of dread and panic! We are told to turn up for an appointment in Mrs Sharmas clinic and have been made to wait for two hours until we are seen. My partner is self employed and i'm sure alot of you can understand that time is money, especially when it seems to be a waste of time! He took an afternoon off work to accompany me to an appointment only to find out that it was MY pelvic scan and he didn't need to be there! When the results came through they were in his name!
We're seriously looking into totally private clinics in our area, surely the level of patient care will be better (don't get me started about the toilets there!). I'd love to hear good stories about Jimmys, but my patience is waring a bit thin, I feel that it's a bit of a cattle market and i don't want to have to go through the worry and impersonal treatment at the time when you need to be supported most.
Any good clinics in York would be great although, as you can see, we are willing to travel for decent patient friendly treatment! As we are (angrily) ineligable for NHS funding we might as well get the best. 
P.S Can we get the records from Jimmys if we can find a private clinic?


----------



## Clareybob (Mar 4, 2007)

HI Nattybean,
I can't believe what you have been through with all this incompetence.  We have everything addressed to me, not Dh, cos they say that all has to be under the female's name (even DH's SA results etc - though, I hasten to add, they are not actually IN my name, they are just posted to me!).  I did tell them that it would be nice if we were both acknowledged, but they said that it was always done under the woman as it came under gynae stuff, and if I ever get pg, it will follow on nicely (?!?!).

ANYWAY, I dont live up in Leeds/York, but wanted to say that you should be able to get copies of all your records that you can then personally take to a new clinic.  They are obliged to give you copies of everything if you ask (and this includes your GP being obliged to give you copies of all your medical records that she/he has).  They might not sent it all to a new clinic direct, but if you have them yourself to take along, any new clinic will be able to use them/rely on them.  They may nevertheless want to re-do some of them, eg FSH level one, if a lot of time has elapsed since your last one(s).

Good luck with it all!  I reckon you should definitely shop around for a clinic which suits you best.  You don't even have to have a referral from a GP to go to a private clinic.

Lots of    and sympathies

Clarey xxx


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Hi All.

It's been a while since i signed on to this site and i tried to get into chat tonight, i couldn't even get the page up. Has it stopped or was I too late? Is there a closing down time? 

Been feeling really low as we haven't heard anything at all since our last appointment (In March) except a letter asking us whether we still wanted to be on the waiting list for funded IVF from Jimmys. As you can understand we took this as a bit of an insult ; THEY are asking US whether we still want IVF when we have already told them that we will pay to get it with them after we've been turned for funding by the NHS! We're paying for treatment at an NHS hospital. It really doesn't fill me with any hope about our prospects and we haven't even got anywhere after two years. We have been treated like mushrooms since the beginning (fed crap and been kept in the dark). 

Attempting to look into private hospital options in our area has proved fruitless. I'm going to try and get some kind of information from Darlington again, but they never call back when i leave a message on their answerphone.

News that sperm donors has dropped to two hundred men in the UK since the government in their wisdom ( ) allowed donor children to trace their fathers means that if my DP has no sperm there really doesn't seem to be any hope for us at all.

All in all I'm pretty damn miserable and I need all the support you guys can offer! 

Lots of love to you all and sorry for being such a miserable moobag!

Nats x


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi nats 
Seems Like you could do with a Cyber hug right now 

If your looking into private tx - try the tx abroad threads/clinics lots of FF'ers have found this to be a good way to go.

The Chat room is 24/7 I would have a look on the tech support board,
and try updating your Java and clearing your cache. post there for help too.

daft question, how come your awake and posting at this silly hour anyway 

~Dizzi~


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Hi dizzi

Sorry, i'm an insomniac! Too many worries and alot of lonliness! Tend to find that this is the worst time of the day to think about things, but want to talk about how frustrating life is.


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Hi Nats

 the great thing about FF is its 24/7  someone is always online!
talk away hun, this is your thread. You can even lock it to stop people replying if you wanted to 
I know Miss TC is the mod who replied to you initially but if I can help I will (I'm just going to have a read of your first post )


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you soo much for being awake at this time!


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Your welcome ((hug))
I may log off suddenly tho - cause I am at work (and my break is over)
No wonder your stressed  what a series of monumentle C- ups!
If you have the funds, and are willing to travel - DO!

Do you have the name of the fertility consultant at Darlington,prehaps its worth writing a letter and sending it recoreded 
I would however definatly read/consider going abroad esp if your planning on using Donor sperm.
Check out the relevent threads on FF 
(just do a search)

~Dizzi~


----------



## nattybean (Mar 8, 2007)

Thank you for the hugs,

We have limited funds, my grandmother left me a little money but that seems to be dwindling fast. We probably have one chance at IVF. I'm 31 years old and I have wanted to be a mum since i was 16. I had an abortion (under sufference) when I was 19 after a horrible one night stand. I was married to a bit of a nightmare man when I was 25 and suffered a miscarriage 2 years later. I still grieve for both of those babies and have suffered from depression before and since. The last scan said I had polycystic ovaries, but i have had no symptoms, my periods are as regular as clockwork and i just don't believe them! As far as i'm concerned i'm fine and dandy!

Whilst I love my DP to bits the thought of being childless is still hard to take. If I had found a younger man the odds wouldn't have been stacked against us. It is not a nice place to be in. I constantly look at younger men as doners.

Sorry
Nats


----------



## DizziSquirrel (Feb 15, 2005)

Nats FF is good place to offload 
Your a long way off from being childless hun, theres still much you can do,
I think finding a good clinic is going to be your main issue then everything will fall into place.
and as for your lost babies, we have a very special board here that you may wish to post a message on, called forget me not.
Depression is a difficult thing to beat - but it can be beaten, have you tried councling or alternative therapys 

I am going to leave you a couple more links as I feel it may benifit you to post in a few more areas around FF

*Girl & Boy talk~*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=1.0

*Forget me not~*http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=99.0

*Donor sperm eggs~*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=64.0

*Peer suport ~*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=186.0
*
Realtionships ~*
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=136.0

~Dizzi~


----------

