# How to handle holiday with pregnant friend



## Summer35 (Apr 28, 2012)

Hi all,

My husband and I have been ttc for over a year. I have endo and we are just now waiting for an appt at the clinic. In two weeks we go on holiday with another couple and I found out last night that my friend is pregnant, and has her first scan the day before we leave. I had been hoping that this holiday would be a good break of all thing pregnancy related, however now I am going to be faced with a pregnant friend every day for a week (we have booked a private villa so there is little escape). I don't want to dampen their enthusiasm at their exciting news, but I am struggling to see the best way to handle it.

Any ideas?


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## EssieJean (Aug 11, 2011)

Hi Summer35,  I'm so sorry to hear of the predicament you are in and really feel for you.  I'm afraid i don't have any pearls of wisdom but i can empathise with you although my situation was a bit different.  My friend and work colleague told me she was pregnant at the same time i found out i couldnt have a child of my own.  I was absolutely devastated as you can imagine.  Not only that but we sit across from each other at work, car share everyday and go for lunch together so i've basically gone through the pregnancy with her.  

The only thing I can say is that despite my news I was so happy for her and channelled the happiness that i KNEW that i was going to feel one day, towards her. I don't know how but it helped me in some weird way to keep positive. Don't get me wrong, it was and still is very difficult at times and there were tears but she is such a good friend she knew how hard it was for me and supported me in my sad times. I don't know if your friend knows of your situation or how close your friendship is but may be having a quiet chat with her beforehand explaining while you don't want to take away the joy of her pregnancy and as happy as you are for her, situations may arise where you might get upset and you don't want there to be any awkwardness.  

I hope you manage to have a relaxing break however you decide to handle it.

All the best and good luck
EssieJean
xx


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## jo2004uk (Jan 6, 2012)

Hi Summer,
I know exactly how you feel!
My best friend annouced that she was pregnant the week after we found out that we couldnt conceive naturally.
I so wanted to be excitewd for her but I just felt horrible, the jealousy took over me and I hate to say but I kept my distance throughout the whole of the pregnancy because some how it made it easier.
HOWEVER I do now regret that as I missed important time with the one person that I should have been there for and can never get that back.
She has a little girl now and I am happy for her and she is very repectful to our situation.

I think to just have a chat with your friend and ask her no calm down the baby talk, just because she is pregnant it doesnt mean she has to talk about it non stop.

Hope you get on ok big   xx


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## Clairabella (Mar 19, 2012)

Hi Summer,

I do know how you feel cos one of my best  friends is due any minute (well she was due last week!)  and I did have a little bubble when she first announced her pregnancy.

I am delighted for her though as I know it is everything she has ever wanted and I can't wait to meet her baby.  I console myself with the fact that one day I WILL (  ) have another child and I know she will be delighted for me and I encourage her to discuss her pregnancy and baby as I think I would feel awful if she had to hide her happiness.  I agree with Essie, keeping positive really does help.

I am at that age where lots of friends are having babies, but tell myself I wouldn't feel any better about our problems conceiving even if  my friends were not popping out babies with seemingly no difficulty (how do they do that) and I wouldn't wish any of them to know the sadness of fertility problems  
I hope you manage to make the most of it, and look on the bright side, you can enjoy the local wine with no guilt, while your friend looks on longingly!!!

take care xx


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## Sunny12 (Apr 30, 2012)

Hello,

Does your friend know what you are going through?  If yes then if they are your real friend I imagine baby chat will be kept to a minimum.  If no then there will be all sorts of comments about "you next" etc etc.  If she does not know I would say tell her for sure.  If she does know trust that your friend will be just that and keep it to minimum but not ignore subject alltogether

We have just been referred for ICSI and it is my hen do this weekend.  There are two newly pregnant people attending and others who have babies.  There are also some people in the same or similar boat to me.  I have been very open about our issues so the majority of people know so I am hoping as well that it will be a break from all things baby and pregnancy related!!

If you talk about it with your friend and explain you need a break from it then I am sure she will be good about it!

xxx


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## Sunny12 (Apr 30, 2012)

P.S anyone feel that it would be much fairer if all your 'non-fertility challenged' friends just paused their lives until you were sorted!!??


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## yola (Aug 18, 2010)

hi

I think the best way to handle this is to think it will be you next .......  I have known a lot of girls to get pregnant in over a yr of trying ...... I know you must feel disappointed as i know i would .....  but you will get there and you will be pregnant too soon ,.....  Indulge in wine and enjoy yourself in the sun ... have a lovely holiday xx


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## jaimex (Sep 7, 2008)

Hello,


I was pregnant and lost my pregnancy , this family friend who I see on nights out is pregnant . We were exactly the same in dates. So I see where I should be which is very hard I also see her smoke, and I want to scream how is this f*****g fair ! I handle it by having a very large red wine and sometimes the bottle lol. But I also handle it by thinking I don't want her baby I want my own and I will continue my quest until I have it. Also  I am very lucky I have my princess who is the light in my day. So chin up if she goes on about her baby talk even thou you have told her your situation. Pour a large glass of your tipple relax by the pool and tell her she's being a baby bore. 


Hope your holiday turns out to be a good one. Xxxx


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