# Surrogacy - Apparently we are an "old couple".....



## Miranda79 (Jul 30, 2013)

Hi Ladies

I have been told today by brillian beginnings that I (35) and my DH (52) would be considered an "old couple"; I am told this would make it unrealistic that we would be chosen by a surrogate over a younger couple.

I am literally devestated.

My mother was 37 when she had my brother and I have many friends who have their first child in their late 30's - so when did 35 become old?

52 for a man is no age now either with loads of men starting new families and having their first child in their 50's ... 

Is it all not hard enough without those in a position to help imposing more hardship on us that long for a child?


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## DaisyMaisy (Jan 9, 2011)

We have twins born through surrogacy and I was 31 when they were born. No one told us that we were getting on a bit, in fact the clinic told us that we were young! They are used to dealing with people in their late 40's/early 50's.

Good luck on your journey. 

Xx


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## Happy Mummy (Sep 22, 2006)

Hi Miranda,
I am so sorry you got such an answer. The person who said it is insensitive and a stupid idiot   

I am 48 and my husband is 51, we are doing surrogacy in the states . There are plenty our age I can assure you.  I am sure you will find a lovely surrogate eventually. Whoever has said this to you, has no idea, and trying to hide the fact they haven't got a large list of surrogates. My surrogate wanted to be with us because she said  we had gone through so much, she wanted to help both of us. And she is a wonderful woman, we have been very well matched. Can you change agency? Sending lots of   your way.


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## EJJB (Mar 18, 2005)

Our daughter was born through Surrogacy when I was 38.
My husband was 32. We were with SUK and we were considered to be one of the younger couples. Most people were in their 40-s to 50's.
I'd try somewhere else, where you might feel a bit more welcome.
Love 
EJJB
x


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## Susieque44 (Jun 14, 2011)

That's a really silly thing for BB to say, most surro babies are born to older couples once they have exhausted every other avenue. My surro twins have just been born l am 36 my hubbie is 41 - don't give up hope. Xx


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## Anny1970 (Mar 6, 2015)

Ladies, I can`t believe my eyes!!! Who dare to say that you are an old couple I`m 44 and my husband is 46. Our surrogate is on the 12th week of pregnancy. Now we are preparing to become parents))) So don`t pay attention to these words. You are even young))) Wish you all the best)))


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## NatGamble (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi everyone (and particularly Miranda)


I've just seen this and hope it's ok to comment with my BB hat on (although I don't usually post here in that capacity).  


Let me be absolutely clear: at 35 and 52 you are not an 'older couple' as far as Brilliant Beginnings is concerned and I am completely puzzled as to what has happened here.  We are working with many IPs in their 40s and more (which is to be expected given that for most parents surrogacy comes at the end of a long journey).  I can only think there has been some kind of misunderstanding with whoever you spoke to, but if you were given wrong information I apologise, and also for making you feel so disheartened - we care deeply about being positive and supportive, knowing how sensitive the issues we deal with are.


Natalie


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