# Single Women in the news... what have I let myself in for?



## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Just thought I'd post here (will be posting elsewhere as well, and have already noted one article in the newspapers section)...

I featured in the (Scottish) Daily Record today, with my lovely little boy:
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/life/women/2011/07/05/he-s-all-mine-the-amazing-story-of-how-one-woman-overcame-heartache-to-conceive-her-baby-86908-23248952/

I had hoped the article would look at donor issues (and lack of donors in the UK, especially Scotland), but they seem keener to focus on the single mum and age/fertility stuff. I was put in touch with a reported through the clinic - they asked if I would be willing to speak to the media and I agreed. Th reporter seemed nice, and it was all pretty straightforward. But you don't get to choose what the focus is, and also the reporter has been back in touch to say 'the Daily Mail (scottish edition) are interested in it'. Oh dear... they will be running an article tomorrow, but much more clearly focusing on the single mother issue. I am worried what their angle will be, since the Daily Mail is not known for its progressive views on such issues.

And then they said Radio Scotland were doing a feature... so I agreed to that - (a) they seemed really nice and entirely sympathetic on the phone and (b) it will be live radio, so less chance for them to 'edit' or select what I say....

At least my little one is too small to be aware of it all.

I hope it will do something towards raising awareness of donor conception, and UK shortages. The clinic said most people don't want anything to do with publicity, some because they are in the 'not telling' camp; which I feel is absolutely their right to choose, but it does mean that the general public continue to either not know of donor issues (especially shortage) and also have unrealistic ideas about IVF success with own eggs etc - because they know people who have had IVF in their 40s, say, but they haven't told them it was DE.

Anyway, if anyone is listening in Scotland, it's on Radio Scotland just before 9am tomorrow. Wish me luck!
best wishes
Elinor x

/links


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## upsydaisy (May 9, 2009)

Good for you Elinor !  .  It seems a really good balanced article. The more people that are open and in the media the easier it will be for our children as they grow up. Your LO is gorgeous.
Upsyxxx


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

Well done for doing this Elinor - really good article, I agree with Upsy the more open we are the easier for our LO's growing up.


Your son is very cute   


xxx


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## Fertilitychallenged (Jun 16, 2010)

It's a beautiful story - even regarding it was not what you hoped for. And as one fighting in a country where neither sperm donation for single women nor embryo donation for anyone is allowed - I sincerely love the story. As I did embryo donation to concieve the child I lost it of course hits even closer to home. Stories like this, as well as Susan Golomoks's studies, is what will make my government fall for pressure in the end. Thank you soo much! I'll share this with my fellow SMBC's over here


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## Bambiboo (Oct 23, 2009)

I think that its a lovely positive piece - and your little boy is gorgeous!!!! x


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## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Thanks for your comments everyone!

we also featured in the Scottish Daily Mail today - managed to get to paragraph two before they mention 'at tax-payers expense'  - I paid for every IUI and every IVF myself, the donor insemination I had to pay for sperm only, but they didn't do scans or offer any medication (eg progesterone supplementation, which I need) so it was a bit of a waste... Couldn't find it online... but the interview with Radio Scotland/ phone-in was better, here's the link if anyone is interested:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01299lp/Call_Kaye_06_07_2011/
It is the first part of the programme (ie not the education minister interview!), and they did a bit of my story, then a phone in and had a couple of studio 'experts', one to say 'single women want to have it all and having a baby is not a human right' (did I say it was?!), a phoner-in who thought families need a mother (female) and father (male) and anything else is no good ('research and history and the whole world knows that'). I stood my ground and tried to argue that having a baby is a responsibility, not a right, and that different forms of family can all work as long as the child has love, support and nurture from parent(s), wider family/ supports and community. 
I did get to mention donor issues, and some of the callers were sympathetic and had interesting points (half of a lesbian couple, who have children - she didn't agree with the view of who should get funding of one of the callers).
Anyway, no more stories for a while - it was strangely exhausting, but I feel I did my best.
Thanks for the comments on J - I think he is beautiful, but am willing to admit I may be biased!
Love
Elinor xx

/links


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## GIAToo (Nov 8, 2009)

Hi Elinor
Well done you on those articles.  Is the use of donor egg and sperm really as rare as they state?  I guess when you are in the FF world, it doesn't feel that rare.  As for the comment about  "families need a mother (female) and father (male) and anything else is no good ('research and history and the whole world knows that')!" - that makes me so cross!  What about the 2 world wars we've had and the amount of babies conceived and without fathers during those (and not just because men died, but because men did runners!)?  All those babies seem to have done alright.  The only way we are different to millions of single mothers around the world is because of the way our babies were actually conceived!  Sorry, it makes me angry   

Anyway, you should be proud of yourself and your little boy is gorgeous   
GIA Tooxx


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## ElsieF (Nov 26, 2009)

Elinor,
thanks for this. You were very brave to give yourself up to the Daily Record    - but it turned out great in the end    A very balanced article. The BBC say they are not permitting online listening to your show though.   

Hi Gia!      I think that the numbers may well reflect only UK donors ? It would make sense that they egg donation is so high (because of the shared programmes) compared to the sperm donor figures that are very low. When I signed up with my new GP I told her I was going abroad for treatment, and I was a bit surprised when she asked if I was going to Spain. She said that 'several' of her patients had had egg donation treatment in Spain and it was lovely to see them in the surgery with their babies and toddlers. So if one tiny little GP practice of 4 doctors can have 'several' then I reckon the numbers have to be Much higher. It was so nice of her to tell me, I had to hold back the tears (which I presume were a mixture of hope for the future    and relief that she didn't think I was a freek   )


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## Miss Scarlett (Aug 9, 2011)

Elinor, I just read your story in a magazine the other day and just seen you are on here!! I just wanted to say I was inspired by your story, I am so pleased the end result was little Jacob!

MS x


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