# My journey through pain: My Story so far



## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi all,

I am not as comfortable piggy backing off of busy threads so thought this may be the best way to post my story and questions.
I have recently been diagnosed with Low Fertility(AMH 8.26) and despite being single would very much like to be a mother before I lose the chance.  I've been on my own for 6 years after a damaging marriage and though I've dated I've never really met the right person.  
In my 20's I was concentrating on my career and was not responsible enough to have children.  Now with tons of work on myself and emotionally preparation I am ready for my future.  
About 9 months ago a close friend mentioned that I should get my fertility checked out as I was approaching 36.  I naively thought I had YEARS and had planned on having a family at 40.  Still waiting for Mr Right I guess.  
I finally consented to tests in the beginning of November and have found although I have healthy folicles my AMH levels are very low.  During the ultrasound the specialist found issues with my endometrium and this past weekend I had a hysteroscopy.  The surgery was done outpatient with no anesthetic to begin with and was excruciating.  I have a very small cervix @ 3mm and the hystercope was 5mm.  Finally after local anesthetic he was able to see that my endometrium was fine.  I had ectropian(missing cells at cervix which causes an area of scar tissue) and he burnt it off (nothing more disconcerting than smoke coming out of your lady bits I tell you!).  

The advice given after the surgery was due to the extreme pain I may have blocked fallopian tubes.  I obviously was devastated. This could be disease related as I had contracted Clyamida from a partner in the past though had it treated right away.  I've been celibate for a good many years but it doesn't negate my past behaviour.  God the shame in saying that but would imagine I am not alone.

So I am off soon for MORE investigations as they need to inject dye into me and see if they are blocked.  I am not a candidate for NHS funding (PCT is stopping funding for IVF in November this year and my BMI is over 29 (whose isn't!) so I have to privately fund any further treatment.  

Ok that's the story so far.  So onto my questions:
1. The Doctor mentioned that if my tubes are blocked I will have to consider IVF if not stimulated IUI.  What is people's opinions on getting a second opinion?  Can anyone recommend a good fertility specialist in and around London?
2. I've looked into cost and have been flabbergasted at how expensive all this is.  Does anyone know if there are IVF/IUI packages that are all inclusive?  The drugs and scans all seem to be separate!!! 
3. How do people afford all the tests that you need?  Can I use my local GUM clinic (free) for all the STD tests I need prior to IUI etc?
4. How do people afford blood tests/drugs etc? (are there other legal ways to get the drugs/tests etc that we need rather than through the clinic.
5. What is people's experience with Sperm Banks in the USA?  What were the shipping costs for donor semen?  (Being American by birth I'm thinking of using ESB USA rather than ESB in Copenhagen)
6. How many cycles should I be thinking of funding for IUI? IVF? (this will help me) Some clinics offer 3 cycles in a year for a "package deal" should I go for this
7. Do people recommend embryo freezing during IVF for the future? I would like 2 children who are bio siblings.  I don't like the idea of frozen embryos but see the good in donating them if it helped someone else.
8. I've been recommended against traveling abroad for IVF as the specialist said that the costs mount up here anyway due to scans etc.  Have people found this to be true?  What's the ratio of difference?  I was quoted £1000 for IUI including all scans in london and £2500-5000 per cycle for IVF.

I thinks that's all for now.  God this stuff is terrifying!  Breathing in and out.

Dawn  W


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hello Dawn,

Firstly welcome to FF and to the singles board  
And secondly   for your recent experiences - I think there are many of us here who will empathise - I started this ttc journey at 37yrs old naively thinking all I lacked was sperm....3 years and a lot of heartache later I am finally pregnant, but it certainly didn't happen as easily or quickly as I thought it would

Below my attempts at answering your questions, I'm sure others will be along to add their views too...hope this helps somewhat. Feel free to send me a message if you want more info on anything I've said below
best of luck!
Suitcase
x

1. The Doctor mentioned that if my tubes are blocked I will have to consider IVF if not stimulated IUI. What is people's opinions on getting a second opinion? Can anyone recommend a good fertility specialist in and around London?
I think if your tubes are blocked you will have no choice but to go for IVF. If you have the test which pushes the dye through the tubes (Hysterosalpingogram - HSG) you will know this for sure one way or another and then you can plan your next steps. Most clinics advise the test anyway before starting IUI to ensure tubes are OK - otherwise IUI would be wasted money. Think I paid ca £400 for my HSG a couple of years ago at London Womens Clinic. As a single woman you will not get any fertility tx on the NHS so you will need to self fund everything I'm afraid. It's unfair but sadly that's how it is for the moment....
So I'm not sure you would need a second opinion as such, rather you would need to get the HSG done and then get opinions on what is the right course of treatment for you
There are many different clinics and consultants in London/the London area. As mentioned I used LWC, but there are lots of others - hard to make recommendations but you can have a look at the HFEA website to get some ideas of relative success rates etc

2. I've looked into cost and have been flabbergasted at how expensive all this is. Does anyone know if there are IVF/IUI packages that are all inclusive? The drugs and scans all seem to be seperate!!! 
I think most clinics include the scans in the costs, but the drugs will always be costed out separately. This is because the dose/type of drugs needed will vary from person to person (plus you have the option to get a script from the clinic and source your own drugs which is inevitably cheaper - although more hassle) I am not aware of any UK clinics which include drugs in the price of IVF/IUI. You also need to be careful of other additonal costs - for eg the cost of sperm will not be included, nor the HFEA registration fee (ca £100), nor ICSI if you need that etc. Unfortunately it's simply a case of scrutinising the price lists very carefully and then when you get to the point of committing to a clinic/course of treatment, being very clear up front about what is/is not included...

3. How do people afford all the tests that you need? Can I use my local GUM clinic (free) for all the STD tests I need prior to IUI etc?
Yes, your local GUM clinic can do the majority of tests you need. Some GPs are also quite helpful here, but it does depend (you may need to tell some white lies to get your GP to do the tests)
Off the top of my head, I think the only one GUM can't do is CMV...

4. How do people afford blood tests/drugs etc? (are there other legal ways to get the drugs/tests etc that we need rather than through the clinic.
Hmm, how do we afford it? We sacrifice other things, use our credit cards, take out loans etc!! As above, you can get many of the initial blood tests done free at GUM clinic or through GP. re medications, there are pharmacies which charge less than clinics - so as long as your clinic is happy to give you a prescription, you can ring round and get quotes. There is a thread here on FF for this which has details of the best places to call (it's called 'where to get cheap drugs' I think)

5. What is people's experience with Sperm Banks in the USA? What were the shipping costs for donor semen? (Being American by birth I'm thinking of using ESB USA rather than ESB in Copenhagen)
I have not used a US sperm bank (I did use ESB once but to ship to Czech not UK) so can't help with this but I'm sure if you went to the websites of the US sites you'd get costs for shipping. Do note that you will first need to check that your clinic (once you've chosen it) is happy for you to import sperm. Not all clinics have the necessary paperwork in place to receive donor sperm from abroad and can charge you ridiculous amounts to process this. Also note that any sperm you import has to comply with HFEA regulations - which means ID release donor and no more than 10 births per donor. Some sperm banks (ESB in Copenhagen is one) charge significantly more to comply with these regulations - on top of sperm and shipping costs they charge a £1000 'pregnancy slot' fee for the UK (so they can ensure the criteria are met)

6. How many cycles should I be thinking of funding for IUI? IVF? (this will help me) Some clinics offer 3 cycles in a year for a "package deal" should I go for this
How long is a piece of string?! Sorry, not meaning to be flippant but this is the question we'd all like answered and to which there is no answer. The 'standard' approach with clinics is to try 3-6 IUI (perhaps 3 unmedicated and 3 medicated) and then to move to IVF. If IVF is going to work for you, it will usually work within 3 attempts. For some people it simply doesn't work (I am one...) and they have to explore other options - eg donor eggs
The packages represent a saving if it takes you 3 cycles to get pregnant, you make a loss if you get pregnant on the 1st one. Do read the small print carefully though - they have quite strict criteria for who is eligible for these packages (naturally the clinic wants to make sure they don't lose money!)
If your AMH is low, this suggests you may not respond well to IVF as it suggests you have low ovarian reserve (not many eggs left). Now I'm not an expert on AMH but there is the risk that you get very few eggs/embryos per cycle and hence it may take you longer to find the one 'good egg' you need...so you may need to take this into consideration. You won't know this until you actually try a cycle of IVF though, to see how you respond

7. Do people recommend embryo freezing during IVF for the future? I would like 2 children who are bio siblings. I don't like the idea of frozen embryos but see the good in donating them if it helped someone else.
Not so much a question of whether it's recommended, more a question of whether you get any embryos which are good enough to freeze. Sorry to be doom and gloom here but not all cycles produce enough embryos which are good enough quality to freeze. If you are lucky enough to get some, def freeze them - this leaves you options for the future - you can use them to try again if the fresh cycle fails, you can use them for a sibling, you can donate them to someone else, you can choose to have them destroyed etc The choice is always up to you so if you can freeze some, you have nothing to lose by doing so

8. I've been recommended against travelling abroad for IVF as the specialst said that the costs mount up here anyway due to scans etc. Have people found this to be true? What's the ratio of difference? I was quoted £1000 for IUI including all scans in london and £2500-5000 per cycle for IVF.
It depends on where abroad. Spain, US, Russia are as expensive if not more so than UK. Places like Czech Republic, Ukraine are cheaper. Turkey, Cyprus, Greece may also be lower cost options.
IUI is only a couple of hundred pounds in Czech Republic, plus cheap flights and a few nights accommodation. 
IVF with your own eggs is ca £1800-2000 at Reprofit so again significantly cheaper even with travel costs 
One thing to consider though is the logistical challenges - both in travel/time off work terms and in terms of communication. You have to work much harder with an overseas clinic, take more responsibility for your treatment, be more involved and engaged and proactive. You also have to be prepared to book flights and time off at short notice and be able to deal with the potential stress this causes
Only you know if you are the sort of person who takes all this in their stride, or whether it would just be so stressful that you'd be better off in the UK...


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

suitcase of dreams said:


> Said Loads of great stuff!


Thanks so much. I will read and digest!

Dawn


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## caramac (Mar 21, 2010)

Dawn - I haven't got a lot to add to what Suitcase has said above (particularly as I never got to IVF) but just wanted to say that I have a low AMH level of 6.6 but got pregnant on my third attempt at medicated IUI. I also had a test that indicated I'd had a past infection of chlamydia at some stage in my life (which must have been years ago as I've been single for 7 years!) and had planned to have a HSG tube check after my third IUI (which ended up being successful so I didn't have to!).

I very quickly made the decision to move to having treatment abroad rather than in the UK mainly for the reason of cost. IUI is 100 euros plus another 100 euros if you use their anonymous sperm. It was just a no brainer really. Even with flights for around £100 and a few nights accomm/meals/parking at the airport/etc it's much cheaper than the UK. Yes, I did get some scans done here in the UK at the cost of around £100 each (using a BUPA/Spire clinic) but even with those it was a fraction of the cost at the London clinics. I did briefly look into importing sperm from abroad but the costs were so high, compared to the 100 euros cost, that again it was clearly not the more sensible option. I wanted to conserve as much cash as possible in case it took me many times of trying.

I hope you're able to work through all of your questions and come to a way forward that works for you!


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## upsydaisy (May 9, 2009)

Hi Dawn and welcome to our world   !


(Wow Suity   what will all the single girls do without your amazing advice and support!  You really should write a book and quickly ! before your bundles of joy get here!   )


All I can add Dawn is that with a bit of foot stamping you can get many tests and drugs on the NHS.  I had all my tests done under an NHS consultant and all my drugs were on prescription.  My AMH was lower than yours (5 I think) and my FSH was 15 (too high to be considered for IVF at some clinics).
Good luck and keep breathing in and out    
Upsyxxx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Hi Dawn

Suity has given you such a comprehensive answer already as have the other ladies.  firstly your AMH is low but not as low as it can be, check out the other threads on FF, I have an AMH of 0.7 and re embarking on my own eggs using mild/natural IVF at Create, so using your monthly cycle and no drugs as such.  I am surprised that they did you hysteroscopy under local (brave you) 

1. The Doctor mentioned that if my tubes are blocked I will have to consider IVF if not stimulated IUI.  What is people's opinions on getting a second opinion?  Can anyone recommend a good fertility specialist in and around London?

I had my hysteroscopy and HSG privately via Mr Trew at 92 Harley St- I would recommend them I had good care, paid about £500 for HSG with Prof Hemmingway at the Princess Grace Hospital referrend by Mr Trew.

IUI is not an option for us due to sperm issues (using known donor)

2. I've looked into cost and have been flabbergasted at how expensive all this is.  Does anyone know if there are IVF/IUI packages that are all inclusive?  The drugs and scans all seem to be seperate!!!

Some place include the bloods and scans others don't and so on the whole they appear cheaper! I have paid from £8500- nearly 16K per cycle, it all depends where you go, and the dose of drugs you need.

I am not sure if London Women's clinic still does a 3 cycle package, Create does and abroad clinic in the US do, IM Barcelona used to.  You can also ask your clinic to give you a prescription and shop around for cheaper drugs as clinics do mark up considerably sometimes- check out the Where to get cheap IVF thread on IVF/ICSI thread.

3. How do people afford all the tests that you need?  Can I use my local GUM clinic (free) for all the STD tests I need prior to IUI etc?

GUM clinics are able to assist with HIV, HEP B and C, STI screen but that is all. You GP may help by giving you a blod form, to be honest the majority of bloods are the major costs (If you enter into the realms of Natural Killer cells etc then the blood test prices rocket).


4. How do people afford blood tests/drugs etc? (are there other legal ways to get the drugs/tests etc that we need rather than through the clinic.

Suity has explained- some people save ++, downsize, remortgage, ask family for assistance, ma credit cards out etc

5. What is people's experience with Sperm Banks in the USA?  What were the shipping costs for donor semen?  (Being American by birth I'm thinking of using ESB USA rather than ESB in Copenhagen)

6. How many cycles should I be thinking of funding for IUI? IVF? (this will help me) Some clinics offer 3 cycles in a year for a "package deal" should I go for this

The 3 for 2 cycle packages are a bit like gambling and you have to be eligible by age ie under 38, and have normal anatomy so some clinic may exclude you (like me for endometrium issues) , sometimes you win some you loose out, my friend did the LWC package and said that it gave her a bit more of piece of mind knowing that the finances were taken care of, she had her son on her 2nd cycle.

7. Do people recommend embryo freezing during IVF for the future? I would like 2 children who are bio siblings.  I don't like the idea of frozen embryos but see the good in donating them if it helped someone else.

I would freeze them if you have them and want a sibling- I have never had any to freeze from any of my cycles as they need to be good quality- you can always donate them at a later day for other.  

8. I've been recommended against travelling abroad for IVF as the specialst said that the costs mount up here anyway due to scans etc.  Have people found this to be true?  What's the ratio of difference?  I was quoted £1000 for IUI including all scans in london and £2500-5000 per cycle for IVF.

I travelled abroad for Donor eggs to Spain and in fact this was for shorter waiting lists and not cost, as it cost double what a UK cycle ended up costing me. Going abroad also brings differ criteria to consider ie: in some countries ie Spain the sperm and eggs used and are no ID release unlike the UK.
Good Luck


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

♥JJ1♥ said:


> I am surprised that they did you hysteroscopy under local (brave you)


Thanks I didn't feel very brave I was swearing like you wouldn't believe and cracking jokes so I would not cry. ((If anyone goes to London BMI in Stepney Green I recommend Ashley as your surgical assistant. The poor man almost left with a broken hand! ))

Hmmm I am scheduled for an HSG does anyone know if the pain is comparable or worse? My hysteroscopy was done with NO anesthetic until the pain got too bad. I was told it was comparable to a pap smear. (He lied) The consultant was very surprised at the level of pain I had and said it was very suggestive of blocked fallopian tubes.

I've decided to pay for a second opinion at Create in London. It's £175 well spent if it prevents mefrom freaking out any further.

The bravery of the women on here amazes me. I am so young in my journey.

Thanks for everything! I will chill till I get the results of the biopsy and my follow up consultation.

Dawn


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hi Dawn,

when I had the HSG I didn't have any pain as such, just felt a bit odd, like mild period cramps. Took a couple of ibuprofen before and after and was fine....but I think if your tubes are blocked it may well be more painful - I do hope not (on both counts..)
Hope it goes well...

And good idea re Create and 2nd opinion - this whole area of fertility tx can be so confusing with so many different clinics/consultants all having their own views and very little definitive evidence one way or another on the 'best' course of tx for you
Very wise to gather a few views and opinions and then see what you think feels right for you

Best of luck with both the HSG and the consult at Create, do keep in touch and let us know how you get on
Suitcase
x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I worked in gynae and they only did hysteroscopies on women who wanted then as an out pt and were assessed to see if they would tolerate the pain!!

I am terrified of anything awake, but I can honestly say that the HSG was fine, I was told to take paracetamol and brufen before hand, I also take a bit of Valium before procedures as I also have a small cervix etc and find problems when they do ET's etc- but it was fine honestly the Prof doing it was so lovely and there were 3 others in the room and the nurse/hca was so kind.

good luck


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

*sigh* HSG Scheduled for Monday.  I have to pay for it myself but thankfully it's under £500.00.  Followup with both Hysteroscopy and HSG paid for by Private Health Insurance though so semi-result.  God please let my tubes not be blocked! 

I've contacted  Xytex and a foreign clinic t and the costs are far less than london.  

Dawn


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

HI dawn


I think Suity and everyone else has answered most thing. I just wanted to add that I had a hycosy (tube test) which was unbearable and my tubes spasm'd so they thought they were blocked.  They weren't! I had a HSG on the NHS, which was painful but bearable...deep breathing required...but showed all was ok.  I suppose I'm saying that one test where they suggest your tubes are blocked might not be the whole truth, I wish I had gone for a second opinion at that point instead of switching to IVF!


Hope it goes ok.
xxxx


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

All,

I've just been to my GP and she gave me a blood test form for me to go for blood tests for a non fertility related issue.  She left some bits blank and said that IF I wanted to get additional tests done on the NHS to help me with my fertility quest to feel free to add them to the list!! (Angel!!!)
To this end do any of you know of the additional blood tests I should consider?  I'm thinking of waiting till next cycle and doing a day 3 FSH/estrodial test to add to the information I have from the AMH test.    I am also going to go to the GUM clinic for the rest of the STD tests I need.
I am going to sit on this form till I have more information.  Any advice welcome. 

Dawn


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Dawn      its all confusing isn't it!!  My AMH is low too - was 0.0 and now is 2.0!!  I'm thinking about donor eggs as age is not on my side...

Ref HSG - now not all find this painful - but I did and went into a vasovagal shock and in your case would recommend someone goes with you if you can.  

All the best x x x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

basic fertility tests LH, FSH, oestrodial, prolactin on day 1-3 (some clinics go to up to day 5), 
day 21 progesterone to see if you are ovulating
HIV, CMV, Hep B+C, chlamdyia, syphillis etc (should be done by GUM)
I've also been asked for rubella, varicella, toxoplasmosis, blood group, CMV, measles in the past by Spain.
I think if you scour the FF maybe in the IVF or ICSI thread there is a list somewhere!
Good Luck

I had my AMH done by the LIster- never had it done before, as some clinics use your past experiences of IVF as an indicator and it came back as 0.7 but I am still reverting back to own eggs ICSI at Create- have you considered mild/natural IVF- much cheaper due to no drugs or v mild drugs- also have you considered IVM.

L x


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## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

You may as well add TSH + testosterone although not sure you'll be able to use same form for day 3 of cycle tests and day 21 progesterone.

What a great GP.


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi all,

Had my second opinion yesterday.  Create said "You are doing all the right things." *giggle* I think sometimes I go to Dr's knowing more than I should as there were very few things the poor man could answer due to the sage wisdom I've gathered on FF.  
He did fill in my form for me with most of the tests mentioned above though so the money was well spent.  I need to see if I can do the blood tests tomorrow as next months cycle falls over the Christmas holidays and they have to be taken between day 3-5.  (tomorrow is day 5)
It seems like if my tubes are open it's 3 rounds of diui with Clomid.  Then onto IVF if unsuccessful.  (need to look into IVM. Does reprofit offer this as create does?).
The tube strike on Monday means I have to drive at some ridiculous hour in the morning to east London.  (my HSG is at 9:00 and have to be there for 8:00 for antibiotics.)  
I am.... dreading this HSG.  I have got to let it go though as they now know I need a small catheter.  I have co-codomal and going to invest in nurofen plus.  Unfortunately Monday's are bad days for my friends so it's going to be on my own.  (p*ss poor planning I know)  Perhaps I'll run into the cute surgical assistant again to cheer me up  

Off we go... will definately check in Monday after the HSG.


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hope it goes well Monday Dawn - I'm sure it will be better/easier than you think   
Let us know how you get on
Suitcase
x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

YIPEEEE!!! I am the proud owner of a CD of my fallopian tubes saying they are BLOODY CLEAR!!! *HAPPY DANCE*  

I want to recommend Dr Blakney at BMI London Independent Hospital there was NO pain.  MY HSG was done in seconds and nothing like the horror stories I read all over the net.  It cost £394 and every pound was worth it.  He was a very posh, very professional and very gentle doctor.  I am chuffed to bits.

Now onto Thursday to meet with my fertility consultant to look at next steps.  

More shall be revealed.

Dawn

P.S As an aside: I had a weird spirtual experience at an advent church service last night and am considering asking friend to be a known donor/co-parent.  I think I am going to cross post on the GBLT thread as he is gay.  Loads to think about.


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

great news Dawn, so pleased it went better than expected   

all sounds very promising and interesting....keep us posted!

Suitcase
x


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## Bethany915 (Aug 1, 2010)

Hi Dawn

That's great that your tubes are clear and that the HSG was not painful!  Also, keep us updated about your possible co-parenting plan - of course, if you go down that route it could be much cheaper as you could do it at home with AI.  (This would mean that your friend has parental responsibility, which would not be the case if you registered him as a known donor at your clinic - so depends what you are looking for.)  Let me know if you need more details ...

Anyway, the main reason for posting was just to say - don't let anyone tell you that 8.26 is a low AMH!!  My consultant does not consider it low until you are below 5 - and even then, all is not lost.  When I started trying for my son three years ago, I had an AMH of 2.7 and conceived twice in four attempts.  (Now I am trying for a sibling and my AMH is down to 0.4 - haven't given up hope yet, but I would LOVE to have an AMH like yours   ).

Good luck with your next steps.

B xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Son pleased that your HSG went smoothly
and all is well
L x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Thanks for the lovely words all.  Due to the fact that most clinics close down over Christmas I've got a month to think about quite a lot of things.  I am so grateful for this site.  Thanks for listening and looking forward to meeting some of you on the 5th December and beyond!

Dawn


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

Glad to hear it was ok Dawn, phew! Onto next steps now   
xx


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi all,

Final results are in.  My consultant confirmed my hysteroscopy results are normal.  My tubes are normal.  I'm normal *laugh* with the exception of a Low AMH relative to my age.  I asked him what he suggests now.  He said progress immediately to 3 cycles of self insemination (if I get a yes from my co-parent/known donor friend), 3 cycles of IUI and then IVF if no baby.  I said "When?" He said, "Now".    He recommended that I concieve in the next year and do not delay. Do not pass go.  Do not collect £100.  

So I now have to type a letter to gather my thoughts for my (co-parent/kd) friend and schedule some time with him in the next week.  I'm seeing my therapist on sunday and looking forward to her counsel.  

This stuff moves really fast.    I'm so looking forward to meeting a few of you this weekend at the pre-Christmas meet up in london.

God help me... 

Dawn


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Often after a hsg/hycosy the servix has been stretched and so just by having the procedure it can help TTC!
If you search back through this and LGBT threads there have been many discissions of KD chats/ agreements

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=123942.msg1802547#msg1802547

There was a single lady called Zoopy and she was going through the same dihlemas as having the KD chat and what to ask so have a read through the threads for some more ideas. Also if you conceive through AI at home (anywhere except via a clinic as a KD) then legally this effects his position and he is responsible for the child, so you may want to ask Natalie Gamble for her advice as well.

Good Luck
L x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

WOW that's a fantastic thread JJ1!  Thank you so much!


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Meeting with a potential KD/Co-parent today for dinner.  Wish me luck this has gotta be the scariest conversation I've ever had.  Give me pain any day over freaking out for a week about asking a friend to be Baby Daddy.  Argh!

Dawn


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## Bethany915 (Aug 1, 2010)

Good luck, Dawn!    Does your friend have any idea of what you are going to ask him?  If not, he might need some time to think about it - so don't be too disappointed if he does not say "yes" straight away!

B xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Dawn I really hope that dinner goes well- do let us know.  Even if he doesn't want to at least you have bitten the bullet and had the chat.- nothing ventured nothing gained!!! I hope it goes well
L x


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## greatgazza (May 27, 2010)

Good luck dawn  


Deep breaths....
GGx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

good luck Dawn - as others have said, nothing ventured, nothing gained   
Hope it all works out for you
Suitcase
x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Thanks so much everyone for your support.  P and I talked last night for about 2-3 hours.  He did have an "idea" that I was going to ask him so this didn't come as a complete surprise.  He has said that his initial reaction would be no but he wants to go away and think about it as his initial reaction may be one of fear.  We then proceeded to have a very adult and responsible conversation about how it would all work.  We talked about everything from co-habiting to education.  He's such a great guy I can't think of anyone more suitable as a father.  *smile* Even if it doesn't work out with him the support I have from all my friends has been amazing.
He asked when I need to know by and I said there is no time scale he has time to think.  He said he would get back to me after Christmas.  

I feel grateful as no matter what he decides our friendship is deeper due to the conversation we had.

Now I have to be patient and hope it's the right thing for both of us.

Dawn


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

My friend came back with no.  I am dissapointed but going to move on with next steps now.  *phew* Relieved and sad but determined to begin and hopefully suceed with a pregnancy in 2011.  God willing!

Dawn


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

So sorry to hear that honey.  I know what you mean - I had offers from a couple of friends - never came to anything and now in a funny way  I'm glad it didn't.  I do so wish that I had 2 lovely friends like JJ - they are so supportive in every way.  But I do have female friends who can support me.


So what's your next step then?  I've just received an email from Xytec with their latest prices if you need it.


Big hugs and here's to a new way forward for 2011.


      Mini x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Thank so much for the support.  I'm pursuing two avenues: I've signed up for co-parent match for 30 days and am investigating sperm donors via Cryos and European Sperm bank.  I've found a few that work but need to look into them in depth at home tonight. (google search on the word sperm at work raises eyebrows in IT   )

I still feel a known donor or co-parent would be the right thing for me but I need to be realistic.  I can't wait 6-10 cycles waiting.  I need to take action now.

Phew... hard work this and I am getting off easy.  The women on this board inspire me!

Dawn


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hey all,

Very excited as meeting two potential co-parents this week.  I feel nervous but grateful as this when I make the decision to go one way or the other.  Yipee!

Also been approached by someone wanting an interview for a PhD and going to meet her this weekend.  She's looking for single women who are pursing donor insemination.  I gave her the board moderator details as not sure how it works with stuff like that on this board and don't want to break any rules on FF.  She's interested in others anonymously of course.    I am grateful to be able to help expand the knowledge on this subject.  I read an amazing article on straight women and gay men having kids and the benefit to both parties.    It was 5 years old and wondering how much more research has been done on that subject.  Guess I don't need to worry about it till I figure out who my donor is. 

So much to think about and none of it relevant till I know.

Dawn


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

So I've made a decision.  I was in the hot tub at a friends house this weekend and figured out that I can't combine the desire for a relationship with the biological drive of wanting a child.  I've been recently triggered into thinking that fantasy is possible by a co-parent I had been speaking to and went a bit potty for a few weeks.  I know, for me, I can compromise what's best for me to make someone be "the one".  This man is not that person for me.  Love is something that grows over time.  Although we have a shared desire to have children we do not have enough in common to form a family in such a short time.  If I had 4 years to get to know him it may have been different but I don't. 

So I am going to go ahead and use my reserved donor sperm from Cryos.  I'm taking the next right step by getting the documentation I need notorised and moving on to get my sperm shipped.  I will post a bit on the country specific boards for information.  I will keep up and let everyone know how it's going.  Hoping for first TX in March.

I feel really relieved and it's definitely the right choice today.  

Thanks for being a part of my journey ladies!

Dawn


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## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

Glad you have come to a decision Dawn, sometimes we have to go through all the emotional stuff to finally get
to the decision that is right for us   

Teela
x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Thanks Teela.  A quick question... did you have to fill in a form for sperm shipment?  Did you leave the partner bit blank?

Dawn


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## Teela (Jun 7, 2009)

No I didnt because I am using there Sperm.. I bought 4 vials but used them all up on TX here, to be be honest
I could not afford to spend another £1000 on a pregnancy slots etc so went for the clinics own  think its 100 euro! It is anon tho so you have to get you head around that bit

Teela
x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Glad that you have made a decision and are moving on
Wishing you luck
L x


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## sweet1 (Oct 5, 2008)

Glad you have come to a decision Dawn, I can certainly sympathise with all you said  

All the best of luck for your upcoming tx.

Oh, and I got the notary form signed and left the partner bit blank which wasn't questionned. I hope they don't start tightening up on this, that would be a worry :s but last time (January for me) it was ok.

Good luck. x


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hey all,

Got my prescriptions sent through and ordered my clomid from Fazell's today.  Still waiting on news about my paperwork fingers crossed.    

Now I am trying to decide on when to go for my first IUI.  Its looking mid march(if I am lucky) or April now. 

I need to go to my clinic abroad for a scan on day 10 or 11 after 5 days of taking 100mg of clomid.  I think once the scan is done I can have the trigger shot and insemination takes place soon after?  Anyone know what the elapsed time is for an IUI can they trigger on the day of the scan? Is this typical? Or will it be a few days after the scan?  I am trying to see how tight I can get my timings if my cycle is variable.

Added later thanks to google:
What is a sample protocol for IUI?
The simplest protocol is Clomiphene 50-100mg 3-7 (or 5-9) of the cycle.{mine is 100mg day 2-6} With the addition of vaginal ultrasound monitoring on the day of the LH surge{Scan day 10-11} or by day 14 if no LH surge, you may be given a HCG injection{pregnyl} and IUI performed 36 hours later.{That means morning day 10/11 and IUI earliest late afternoon/evening day 12}.  Phew  

AF is due in the next 1-3 days.  I vary between 26-30 day cycles depending on which ovary my eggs matured in.  Who knew they had different timings!
I am on holiday from the 21st to the 25th of Feb '11.  (Typical! Day 9-14 are while I am away).  

March '11 I  have a wedding and a weekend away with friends right smack dab in the midst of my next predicted cycle. Unless I cycle mid week. 

Phew its really hard to predict this stuff with variable length periods wish there were drugs that could regulate exact period lengths.  I guess I am going to have to just hope that my next cycle falls in the right time of March or push forward to April. 
It's so hard not to put my life on hold and just tell my friends I can't do anything for the next X months.  Not healthy... I just need to keep clearing space and keep trying and hoping.

Walking with you,

Dawn


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Dawn so pleased you've got a plan and underway.  You'll get used to not being able to make firm plans, cancelling things , never being able to plan ahead of time for social events, holidays until last minute, at work when they discuss schedules thinking in your head- treatment may clash. It will dictate and control your life- but hopefully not for too long!
Wishing you luck


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## caramac (Mar 21, 2010)

Hi Dawn - in my experience of your clinic, they do the IUI 24 hours after the pregnyl trigger shot, not 36 hours. And my trigger shot has never been as early as day 10.

For my three IUI goes the process went:

1) Scan on day 10 (at clinic), trigger shot on morning of day 13, IUI on morning of day 14
2) Scan on day 10 (in UK), second scan on day 12 (at clinic), trigger shot on morning of day 13, IUI on morning of day 14
3) Scan on day 11 (in UK), second scan on day 14 (at clinic) followed by trigger shot, IUI on morning of day 15

But everyone's cycle is different and it's really hard to know what's going to happen when until you've had that baseline scan on day 10. My follicles got progressively slower and slower growing on each subsequent month (hence the second scans and later treatment for my third attempt).

For your first attempt it would be best to allow yourself to be out in country from day 9 (so you can have scan there on day 10) and plan to fly back no sooner than the afternoon of day 14. This should give you the widest window of opportunity. Then as you learn more about how your body responds any subsequent trips can be tweaked, by getting scanned here in the UK and going out later.

Hope this helps and good luck for March/April!


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

caramac said:


> For my three IUI goes the process went:
> 1) Scan on day 10 , trigger shot on morning of day 13, IUI on morning of day 14
> 2) Scan on day 10 (in UK), second scan on day 12), trigger shot on morning of day 13, IUI on morning of day 14
> 3) Scan on day 11 (in UK), second scan on day 14 followed by trigger shot, IUI on morning of day 15
> For your first attempt it would be best to allow yourself to be out from day 9 (so you can have scan there on day 10) and plan to fly back no sooner than the afternoon of day 14.


Wow what fantastic information. I had planned to be at the clinic from 9-14 at the least it will be early morning 10 to late 14.

Now to convince the period fairy to come at the right time!

Dawn


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Quick Update: My clinic has accepted my notarised sperm donor paperwork sans partner information.  YAY!! 

Now to relax and let nature take it's course.  

@JJJ1 - Thank for the support.  I think this will and has taken over my life for the past 5 months.    Thank God I have you all for support.  

Dawn


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Ladies,

I have been so busy on my clinic's forum I have forgotten to update you all: I am heading to CZ on the 26th of Feb for my first TX of Stimulated IUI.  My sperm gets shipped on the 21st.  I go in for my first Scan on the 27th.  I'm there till the 3rd March.

I am so excited.  I start clomid tommorrow.  (Not looking forward to the side effects). I am on vacation the week before so should be plenty relaxed.  Fingers crossed all goes ok and I can have a Christmas baby!

Dawn


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## caramac (Mar 21, 2010)

Great news Dawn! Good luck and I hope your trip is successful. By the way, I never had any side effects from the Clomid. I used to take it at bedtime, figuring I might sleep through any side effects, so don't know whether I did just sleep through them or whether I just didn't have any!


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

Hi all,

Well I tested this am and despite all my NMA (negative mental attitude) over the past week I am PREGNANT!!!    

It was a BFP.  I am crapping myself. I was convinced I was not pregnant and it was the progesterone. I want to test again but my best friend said to wait till sunday as that's the last possible date for my period. 

I don't know how to feel except amazed. I also pray it will stick.    I now have to function at work which is going to be impossible.  Oh and I need to write Stepan and ask how long I need to take these bloody progesterone pessaries for?  Does anyone else know?

Prayers to all the PUPO ladies, to all the ladies who are going to BRNO and those waiting to go!  I am thinking of you all!  Thank you ladies for all your love and support.

God Bless,

Dawn


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## caramac (Mar 21, 2010)

Wow! Congratulations Dawn!!! When I got my BFP Stepan said to keep taking the progesterone until you see a positive heart beat on a scan - he recommended having a scan done in 14 days time - but that is way too early I think. I had a scan done at 7 weeks, but I kept taking the progesterone until the 12 week scan I think.

Morrigan - I have absolutely everything crossed that you complete the hat trick of the Brno girls!!!


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## jenny80 (Apr 8, 2009)

Hi

Congrats again.I was advised byStepan to take all med inc progrestone up to week 12 of pregnancy. 

jenny xx


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