# When did you??



## Camly

Hello all you lovely mummy helpers!  

we are hopefully brining our 2 daughters home today forever    

giggler - aged 3 - was attending a nursery at her fc'ers every morning and finished up a week today.  ss have said they think it might be best to wait til after the new year to place in her into a new nursery.  i was just wondering how long you all waited before sending your littlies to nursery?  i know it all depends on how they are as individuals etc but we were just thinking that 6 weeks out of her routine might do worse than better? also thought that it would be a fun time with santa/concerts/nativity etc.  its so hard knowing what to do for the best.  obviously we know that they are going to have massive changes in the next few days with new perm home/new beds/new faces first thing in morning but just wondered what you all thought?  

thank you. x x x x


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## Ruthiebabe

hi,

i would leave it for as long as possible. she'll only get settled then have the christmas break and then have to get settled in again. We had the boys hope at least 3-4 months before sending them to nursery....and even then it was difficult.

have fun, you'll be too busy to get on here much from now on i predict!!

xxruthie


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## Guest

Generally its thought to be a good idea to keep them with you for a while to help them settle, but its not set in stone.  

You might find need the break - another new mum I know intended to keep hers off for a while, but two weeks in has changed her mind as she needs the break to be able to cope with the full on demands of two little ones.  The eldest is going, I think, three afternoons and the youngest two.

Ours arrived on the Saturday and all went to school/nursery on the Monday as we hadn't even considered keeping them off.  They survived and it helped me.  

I'd see how things go - it depends on so many things such as how they settle, how you adjust and how much other support you have. 

Take care
Bop


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## Viva

How exciting that your girls are moving in today, be prepared for it to be an 'interesting' day and not exactly the wonderful day that you may have imagined, it's wonderful (and a bit scary) when they're tucked up in bed for the first time.
We adopted our two when they were 4 and 16months we kept our 4 year old off for a week before we put him back in nursery, it was totally the right thing for him and we didn't have any problems around going to nursery. It was also a life saver for me as I got Lola into the routine of napping then, and it gave me an hour or so to do some house work or put my feet up and have a cuppa leaving me refreshed and ready to cope with their needs in a more patient and therapeutic fashion! You will know what is right for your two when you need to make the decision....
Viva
X


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## Boggy

Hiya

I'd wait as long as possible, though my 2 have never been to nursery so don't miss it if you know what I mean!

Cookie will be starting in May, 2 years after placement, when she's eligible for a free place but I'll only send her 3 sessions a week at first.  Dino can start nursery anytime due to his learning difficulties but I've said I want him home for a year first.

If it's a new nursery she's going too, I'd leave it till after Christmas - December is known as "silly season" in nursery - there's little routine and  all the Christmas activities could be a trigger for her or be a bit unsettling?

Bx


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## keemjay

I'm in the 'keep them at home for a long as possible' camp too..but then i didnt have 2 together to contend with  
maybe it would be better to bond as a family initially and get to know eachother well before starting...if they have a good routine ie little one sleeps at a set time, then you can do some 'nursery' type stuff on a 1 to 1 with her..playdough/sticking etc if she seems to need the stimulation.
I'm with boggy, the manic run up to to xmas at nursery means normal routines go out the window might not be so 'fun' to her with all the change she has had going on already. maybe start going to a local toddler group with them both..there'll be xmasssy sruff going on there to but you'll be there to hold her hand..

have a lovely day today!!

kj x


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## magenta

My DD didn't do nursery until nearly 18months after placement for attachment reasons but we did lots of groups together from about 2 weeks in - one each day in the morning - then quiet time at home all afternoon. I perhaps did too much too early looking back but it was right for us at the time and helped us find a routine that worked. If you have a local toy library I would recommend that, along with small softplay centres (which tend to be quieter on week days in term time so wil allow for lots of 'let's do this together' bonding with both childen without it getting crazy).


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## Camly

thanks folks.  think we are going to do the mother and toddler groups to start with and see how we get on.  

keep u all posted.

p.s the girls are in their new bed sleeping now.......wasnt a very pretty scene to start with! but eventually... x x x


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## Guest

You've done well then - I think it was more like 11pm before ours settled on their first permanent night here.  

Bop


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## Camly

it wasnt easy tho bop. i was breaking my heart    giggler kept shouting mum and it was awful...but then i realised she was at it towards the end......mummmmmmmm i want a (hiccc cry hiccccc) biscuit!!!      not looking forward to 5.45 when they get up tho.....better get myself to sleep toot sweet!  x x  xx


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## Old Timer

Congratulations on having your daughters home and, hopefully, surviving the first night!

DS was used to going to nursery and had his final session in the morning and we met him in the afternoon.  We then waited 16 weeks before he started going to nursery again, a new one, for just one session a week.  He didn't miss it as we were so busy getting to know each other and playing, going to groups etc etc but I definately needed those 3 hours a week to myself by the time he started.

Its so hard hearing them calling for you and you not going to them isn't it!?!  I can remember saying to DH why doesn't he shout for you  almost in tears but knowing DS was fine and that by going to him I'd be making trouble for myself.  It took a while but he did learn that Mummy would come when he really needed me but not when he was just being silly and seeking attention.

Enjoy this special time, the days really do go far too quickly and they grow up so fast.

OT x


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## wynnster

Hi

Ohhh Camly so exciting reading your posts    Hope they slept through ok and you had the best breakfast ever this morning  

I'm with the others in that i'd keep DD out of pre school for sometime.  There is enough going on in her life right now to deal with.  

Ds came home this time last year and we had a very quiet christmas at home, as much as we wanted to go mad and spoil him rotten I didn't want to risk his future christmases being a time of feeling insecure and unsettled.  This year though we're going to town BIG TIME  
So DD missing out on all the christmas fun won't necessarily be such a bad thing.

I do feel that with 2 you will definately need a break though, so instead of sending DD to preschool once a week how about asking a family member/friend to help you once a week?  Maybe start off with them coming round to help you play with them, gradually increase it so you disappeare upstairs for a bath and increase the time they spend with them and eventually they could take them out for a couple of hours - I did this with my mum and DS now goes to hers one day a week, my mum loves that time they spend together, DS is spoilt rotten and loves nanny time and I love the break but hate leaving him  

xxx


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## Viva

Great idea Wynn about having that help once a week, you'd have a possible fall back then too if you were ill or any emergencies cropped up, which I didn't for at least the first year or so...my DH is a teacher and as such has no flexibility with work!
Hope you got some sleep last night.
X


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## Camly

thank you all you lovely ladies - ur fab!!!  

well, i dont mean to jinx things....   but bedtime has actually been like a dream?!?!? they went down last night about 6ish and giggler was shouting on me for a while and then they both woke up at.......6.30!!!!!!!! a long lie so far, even as far as the fc'er said! result!! 

thank you all again.  have a fantastic weekend. x x x


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