# I feel like it's all over for me



## thespouses (Jan 5, 2006)

Last month I had a miscarriage at 5+1 and I was pretty sure I was due my period yesterday or today.  We had gotten pregnant naturally after a D&C and after starting to consider adoption.  I was really hopeful this month as I felt very similar to last month - very sore nipples, short sharp cramps...

But this morning my period came with a vengeance.  I will be 40 in just under 9 months and now I will not be a mother before I'm 40.  I will be the oldest first time mother in my family, if I ever get to be a mother. My mother and aunts were all really young mothers, apart from one aunt who had her first when she was 39; my female cousins are all mothers already (apart from one who's 17! and one who's 32, my brother has two daughters and my sister-in-law is younger than me, one of my male cousins who's my age is married with kids.  Only one male cousin who's my age doesn't have children...

I'm feeling really low today...

K


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## CC1 (Mar 18, 2006)

Sorry you're feeling so low today,  . It's hard when all around you seem to have children without any problems. I have three sisters who have 8 children between them and none of them had any issues conceiving. I have lots of friends who have had children too, and in my darker days I have felt just the same way, but then I have good days and I pick myself up again.

There are no logical explanations as to why some of us have such a hard journey in our quest to become mummy's, but we have to keep believing that it will happen for us one day. I'm 44 and I still believe. I really hope you start to feel better soon.

Take care of yourself, Cheryl  xxxxxx


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## Alison Jane (Apr 3, 2003)

Hello Katiea

I'm so sorry that you are going through a horrible time - but I felt I wanted to write a message to give you hope.  I too suffered an early miscarriage when I was 38 - almost 39 and was completely devastated and convinced that was my only chance of ever being pregnant.  I had set myself a 'goal' of wanting to have a baby before I was 40 too which looking back just put me under more pressure.  At 39 we tried again and amazingly got pregnant again and this time it worked out.  I was 40 last November and gave birth to my little girl in February.  Please don't beat yourself up about age - there is always hope and my consultant told me when pregnant at 39 that I was young and he saw loads of women older than me with first pregnancies!  I am the oldest mum amongst my friends who managed to have their children years ago with seemingly no problems so again I understand how this feels.

Allow yourself time to grieve after your miscarriage, take time to look after yourself and never give up hope.  I wish you lots of love and luck.

Alison xxx


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## superal (May 27, 2005)

Dear Kaitea

Sorry you are feeling so down at this moment in time, I just want to send you a hug and you know where to find me if you want to "talk"

Love
Andrea
xx


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