# Waiting list length just hit me like a ton of bricks...



## thedreadpersephone (Oct 10, 2012)

Hi everyone,

I've just been looking at the boards for treatment in my area and I'm furious, upset, baffled, you name it.  I had no idea the waiting times were so long just to get a first appointment.  Be warned, this is probably going to go on a bit...  Feel free to hit the back button now!  

A wee bit of background: I am a lesbian and my partner is a trans guy.  We have been together for nearly 10 years and have always talked about having kids but put it off for various reasons, including my partner's job instability and his surgery.  TBH I probably would have gone ahead with things earlier but my partner wasn't convinced it was practical.  My partner has now had his surgery (chest reconstruction and hysterectomy) and we are settled in Glasgow (near my parents) for the next couple of years so it seemed like a good time to get the ball rolling.  About 6 months ago we went to the GP and requested a referral to a fertility clinic.  The GP already knew my partner was trans so it was easy from that point of view.  She explained that she would have to refer me to a gynaecology clinic first and they would refer me on to the fertility clinic.  She told me I would have to have a blood test to see if I was ovulating and a smear test as well, which I'd always avoided.  Cue long rant to my partner about why the hell they wanted me to have a smear test.  I went for the blood test and the smear test.  I then got a letter to say I had to come back for another blood test to see if I had rubella antibodies, I had this test and my antibodies are all present and correct.  My blood test showed I was ovulating.  My smear test showed some irregularities so they advised a re-test in 6 months.  This threw me into a big panic that the GP wouldn't refer me until I had a clear result on the smear test.  I went to see the GP and she reassured me that she didn't see this as a problem and had sent the referral.  

Some time after that I had my appointment at the gynaecology clinic.  I was already feeling negative about the whole thing because I knew they couldn't do anything for us and it was just a hoop-jumping exercise.  The gynaecologist was completely clueless, which didn't help.  He said to my partner, 'so you've had some sort of surgery?'  My partner replied, 'yes, I've had a hysterectomy.'  The gynaecologist then said, 'I see.  So no sperm then?'    Clearly this guy had no idea about trans people.  Nevertheless, he agreed to do the referral.  I asked him how long it would take and he just said he didn't know.  Now I was thinking this meant a couple of months maybe.  What a naive fool I was!  

I received a letter saying that I was on the waiting list and obviously have been waiting impatiently ever since.  But what brought it to the front of my mind again was that I went for the repeat smear test, meaning it has been over 6 months since we started this whole thing and it seems like absolutely nothing has happened.  Looking at the boards for Glasgow it seems that I could easily be waiting another year or longer to even see someone at the clinic.  I'm totally crushed by this news.  I just don't understand how it can possibly take that long just to see someone and find out what's what.  I think I mentioned elsewhere that my partner works in the NHS so maybe I should have been a bit more prepared for this.  But I wasn't.  And I feel like the idiot gynaecologist should at least have given some warning that this was the case.  Or the letter saying I was on the waiting list could perhaps have mentioned what that actually meant.    I just feel like I've been duped into thinking that things were going to happen sometime soon when they probably aren't.  I also feel like a bit of an idiot that I didn't realise this sooner.  I'm frustrated that there doesn't seem to be any way of finding out what's really happening.  Everything that I read seems to be about IVF which hopefully won't be necessary for us.  

Well, I think that's me exhausted for now.  Thanks for reading, if your eyeballs haven't dropped off with boredom


----------



## thedreadpersephone (Oct 10, 2012)

Hmm, just been reading more and maybe in my confusion I got it back to front.  When people talk about waiting lists they mean they have been put on a waiting list for treatment.  I'm only waiting for a first appointment just now so that part shouldn't really be all that long.  Still, the waiting lists for treatment are also much longer than I thought so it's still bad.


----------



## Chopio (Dec 15, 2011)

Hiya,

I hope you manage to get started soon! The waiting and too-ing and fro-ing at the start is so frustrating. I don't know if things work differently in Scotland but here in London I got lots of my preliminary tests done directly through my GP. Things like blood tests for FSH and AMH can be done through the GP and they may help give you a picture of ovarian reserve to guide your plans - i.e.  is it time to beg/steal/borrow the money to do stuff privately or can you safely wait it out in the NHS without your fertility declining quickly?

Your GP should be able to refer your directly for an HSG to check tube patency which would be good to know if you wanted to do home inseminations through a friend/meet a donor online.

It sucks that they are keeping you waiting around so long! My only advice would be to chase and chase and chase them and don't worry about coming across as 'that annoying lady who keeps pestering' because it might speed things up. Also try to do lots of your communication through email so that you have a documented timeline. Is it possible to email your PCT to find out where you stand?


----------

