# Having doubts, please help



## *kateag* (Jun 20, 2006)

Hi everyone, well after being so sure of what we were doing yesterday, we are now having doubts, me more than dh.

Its not the sharing that is worrying me, its the possibility of contact and how i will deal with that. I know there is every chance that any child, if any, born from my eggs will not want to contact me, or may not even be told, but can i handle the fact that they might? and how I explain it to my daughter, and any other children we might have??

Has anyone else gone through these worries, and come out the other side happier?

Please, i would be so grateful for any help, as I dont want to keep changing my mind, I want it decided and thats it.

Thank you.

xxxxx


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## tweetie (Feb 5, 2005)

hunni i hope this helps you in some way.
i have done eggshare 5 times now and i never had any doubts in my mind as to what would happen if and i stress if someone came to find me.
i know that i would be very flattered that they might want to just out of curiosity maybe see if they look anything like you or even just to find out something that might help them on their way in the future but never would i feel like i was that childs parent and would always say so to the person.i have always looked at it in the way of i only have one tube so every other month say i throw an egg away so instead of throwing it away i have given it to someone else but like a present you dont give something away and then want it back later do you or think of it as yours so then you detatch yourself from that cause at the end of the day the other lady carries the baby and gives birth and brings the baby up into a young person so how can we be anything other than the previous owner of the egg and only the egg as it was never going to be anything more whilst with us was it?goodluck hunni.lol.xxxx.


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## kellydallard (Nov 25, 2004)

Hiya,

Hunny your bound to have all these thoughts going around in your head. I too went through this as I am sure most of us do.

You have got to look into the actual thing thats happening and reverse the situation,for example if you were the recipient,you would not have any regrets if you had a donor egg and it ended in a bfp.That child is then going to be brought up with some much love and care that if the situation ever rears its head,the child /teenager in question would totally see why their parents did it.

If your recipient gets a bfp in years to come their son/daughter might want to contact you they might not. But I am sure if they do they will have nothing but admiration for you sweetie.And you should be proud of that cos hopefully you will have also extended your family and you will be able to see the result of your fantastic donation.

Kelly x


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## endometriosislass (Apr 10, 2006)

Hiya hun
The other girls have covered it all really theres not much more i can add to there part,I think exactly the same as the other girls the child if born from our donation may or may not want to contact us,if so me and dp says we will deal with it if that time comes,all we are doing is helping another suffering couple a chance to achieve there dream and we are helping by giving them a few eggs,the only part of us we will have is the same dna cos without the males sperm our egg would be useless so i class it as THERE child as like others said they carry the child,they bring it up and feed it etc i honestly wudnt class that child as mine,not only are we helping and wishing the other couple all the best but we are also having the chance to achieve our dream,i hope u have a good think and decide wot u are wanting to do about this situation,let us no how u get on hunnie
love kelly


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## *kateag* (Jun 20, 2006)

Hi girls, thank you so much. its has helped me a lot, and we have decided to go ahead and share if we are accepted. 

I think it was the reaction of a few people who i mentioned it to that put me off, but then they dont know the full ins and outs, and like we already knew, we arent giving away a child, or anything of the sort, its something to be proud of not feel ashamed.

Thank you. Im sure I will have a few more wobbles in the months to come but at least I know that I can come here and you can all steady me again!!!

 thank you!!


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## Mrs_H (Jan 29, 2006)

Hi Kate, 

Just a quick mail as i don't want to repeat yesterdays message and send you asleep , However i just wanted to say as part of the egg sharing scheme you are offered a session of free counselling this is to answer all the questions you have mentioned in your mail,  

Thinking of you, what you are feeling is natural xxx

Sara


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