# hi everyone!



## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hi everyone, 

After going through a year from hell with three miscarriages, I'm now in need of some fun support for the next step! I have just started stims and will undergo ICSI next week. I have also found out half way through the cycle thats its most likely useless as we now know our only major problem are very overactive NK cells ( I get pregnant very easily but always miscarry. We thought male factor was an issue but doctors are now saying that it didn't affect me). Anyway, I'm still going to do the cycle along with intralipids, perdisolone and Lovenox so hopefully the protocol will still get us our very desired little one.

I also feel like a toxic pin cushion lately! I am on God only knows what, I'm bloated, emotional and exhausted. I know that I may be pregnant again in a few days and I don't know whether I should be terrified or excited. I feel like I may go mad going through my fourth pregnancy in 13 months. I also feel like I can focus on nothing else but this. 

Does everyone feel like the world stops when dealing with infertility? Anyway I'm feeling very isolated so it would be great to have some other ladies to chat to. I'm finding IVF stressful as my follicles are growing very fast and with the amount I have I'm in pain. I'm not complaining, its great to have a lot, but I'm worried about hyperovulation as on day 5 I have more than 25 almost mature follicles. 

Anyway to conclude I feel like a chicken that is getting poked and prodded and feel like having some other ladies to laugh about this whole process with!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Hi natty, 

I've just started injecting for my 3rd cycle of ICSI so I'm not quite at the pin cushion stage you are but not far behind you! Thought I'd say hello. 

My first cycle failed, second cycle gave me my beautiful daughter whose now 3 and I'm on with my 3rd cycle praying for a miracle sibling? We have male issues with no chance of ever conceiving naturally. 

Life does seem to stop whilst tx is taking place, although I'm finding it a little easier this time round as since having my daughter my life has changed anyway, not as many boozy nights out to avoid and fibbing to friends why I'm not drinking! However I'm far more nervous this time than last....I'm worried at almost 33 my fertility will have dropped, I was 27 on my first cycle and 28 on my second so pretty confident it was going to work eventually. 

When is your EC date? Xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hi Rebel400! 
Don't worry you are still under the 35 mark so you should be fine! I just turned 30 so am wanting to really get going with things so that I get my two kids before more problems turn up! Have your hormone levels changed much? My husby also has severe male infertility 2 % strict but for some reason we never had a problem getting pregnant. I guess I'm super fertile, minus my killer uterus. 

It's great you have a little girl, It must feel like the biggest victory after the struggle.  I think I'm having the EC on monday (thats when they go in for the eggs right? ). I guess I would be ready earlier but everything shuts down saturday/ Sunday in France so I'm guessing they will block ovulation and make me wait. I'll find out for sure tomorrow!  

Its funny what you said about the alcohol as my friends are completely lost with me. I stopped drinking about a year ago with the first pregnancy and may have had one or two after each miscarriage but apart from that nothing. Everyone thinks I have just gone a little nuts and aren't saying anything anymore. I think its funny now and am no longer even making excuses.


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Hi natty, 

Yes my daughter is a miracle to me, after years of thinking I'd never manage it. I swore I'd never go through the whole process again once she was born but I have the tug of broodiness and here I am again! 

My fertility has dropped a little from my initial tests/scans which is maybe the reason I'm anxious. Plus I'm having a dilemma of how many embryos to put back as having a toddler I wouldn't want twins this time round but don't want to lower my changes by only putting one back.

I didn't realise you were in France (I ignorantly thought this was a UK site!) is treatment much different for you? Like waiting lists and funding etc. we have paid for each cycle privately as didn't meet criteria to be funded. Another reason I'm banking on this one working!!

Our clinic closes on a weekend too, I don't have my egg collection date booked yet as having got onto the stimms yet.  Did you do anything through yours to try increase chances, I've started reflexology this week and I've heard about drinking protein shakes etc but not sure how much of it is myth!

Good luck for tomorrow And hope you get a date set, feels far more real when you know there coming out to be fertilised! Have they given you anything to try avoid miscarriage. A friend of mine suffered about 4 miscarriages in past year or so (natural, not ivf) and this last pregnancy they gave her some injections which she has to do daily throughout it, she's got to 22 weeks now which is far more than any other and it's all looking fine for her. Xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

and welcome to Fertility Friends   

FF is a lifeline for everyone and anyone, seeking support, information and lasting friendship whilst going through fertility issues. FF members are fantastic listeners when family, friends and sometimes even partners just don't "get" what you're going through and feeling.

I've included some forum boards that may help answer some of your questions   

*Cycle Buddies ~ *Click Here

*Immune Issues ~ *Click Here

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

Have a look round the site and if you get a little stuck with the navigation side of things - please ask and we'll do our best to guide you.

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. CLICK HERE

All the best - our paths may cross again in other areas of the site.

Good luck,

  

Tis xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

I think the site is primarily english but as I am not French I feel better chatting here! In regards to implanting more than one they told me that if there aren't a lot of follicules left on day three they would implant 2 otherwise only 1 on day 5. Supposedly they believe even if it takes a extra frozen cycle its worth not risking multiples. So I guess for you hope they push for day 5 blasts and only implant 1. No I haven't done anything to increase my chances except try to relax as much as possible by walking and doing Sophrology. Oh and drinking lots and lots of water. I have felt that sophrology has been a life saver throughout this whole process.  I wish I could have twins as having both at once would be so much easier! I also think twins are super cute. I'm not pushing for this at all though as its supposed to be much safer to have one.

As for my meds I'm on every medicine under the sun for the next pregnancy including the injections of lovenox I'm guessing your friend took. I'm taking intralipid drips, 1200 progesterone, lovenox, Perdisolone 25, high dose folic acid, high dose omega 3 and then all the usual preg vitamins. All my other pregnancies were natural but as the immune therapy didn't work last time they are adding ICSI just incase we are missing something. Ironically the doctor thinks I may be so fertile that my body is accepting anything and then miscarrying later on. I mean can you imagine that I'm literally getting pregnant every month my DH at 2 %.  

How is your man dealing with all this stress? Mine is so keen to have a kid that he is very supportive. I'm very lucky with that. Friends on the other hand just don't get it. They keep telling me to relax and it will happen and not to worry some women have 15 miscarriages. I want to throw stuff at them when they say this. I know they mean well but someone who hasn't gone through this can't understand! Do you have any friends that can relate?


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

I didn't think you could be French, your English is way too good! How come your live over there? 

I would have loved twins first time round, get it done with on one hit! Hubby kept joking about having BOGOF babies! However with a toddler in the house I couldn't image twins as well. I have a friend who had twin boys (naturally) at 38 and they already had a 21 month old boy....they are 18 months and 3 1/2 years now and it looks like hell! I'd rather enjoy just one!

The clinic said they'd talk it through at the time about one or two, they will look at the quality etc and advise me what they think, they are aware I don't want a multiple birth but then it's a lot of money to think it may not work. Over 2 cycles I had 4 replaced and only one successful implantation so that's not great odds! 

Don't want to sound stupid but what's sophrology? It is like yoga? I'm intrigued!

Jeeeez that's some meds your on....no wonder your a rattling pin cushion!! Let's hope it works for you and your baby sticks this time, apparently with my friend it was something to do with her bleeding too much so she was just bleeding them away every time around 10/12 weeks. The daily jabs helped to thicken the blood and resulted in it sticking. 
I'm just on folic acid really, plus trying to eat healthy, rest, relax, the usual....don't drink much these days anyway and quit smoking few years back so hopefully it's all good. I'm going to do a weekly reflexology too, will lay off the gym I think but will carry on swimming few times a week. 

My hubby is fab, in fact much better than I ever thought he would be, he calms me down, stays positive, he does my jabs coz I can't. Found friends can be difficult tho, I think unless you have experienced infertility and what goes with it they don't really understand. One friend said if you can't have them naturally why don't you just not bother.....not the brightest comment she's ever made! I've heard all those comments of relax and it'll happen blah blah...could slap them! 

Feel drained tonight, wonder if the drugs are just starting to hit my system...I'm 5 days in now.


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

So sophrologie ( French sp) begun in France but is now becoming international. Its a mix between breathing techniques and guided meditation. Pretty much you have a person lead you ( or a group) until you are dreaming but still awake. Its difficult to describe but at this point you hear the person, are still in control, but are visualizing a very relaxed happy memory. When you come out of the session you are 100 percent relaxed. The great thing about Sophrologie is that you can learn to do it on your own. I can now mentally get myself into the dream like state and relax myself completely. Its used in France for women when they are giving birth and also for athletes. Its also been proven to help with fertility! I love it as I'm a very anxious person and feel that this has been the only thing that has been able to help me relax! 

If you are on day 5 I'm two days a head of you! I have been told that I'm going in on monday and that they will have to reduce my meds as I already have 17 mature follicules. I wish they could trigger me now but they wont do the procedure on Saturday! I know they need the weekend off but I'm so uncomfortable I'm not able to do anything! The ultrasound lady looked at my ovaries and said ouch... Anyway I'm just praying I don't get hyperovulation as the tech seemed to be a little worried. Anyway my clinic is one of the best so I hope reducing my meds again and monitoring me on saturday will be enough. Fingers crossed! Also I forgot to tell you last time but a great thing about france is that IVF/ ICSI is free. You get four attempts per child  It really takes the pressure off taking your time! 

Its so good that your husband is supportive I think that without that kind of support the whole process would not be possible!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Hi natty, 

How's it's going? I've started my stimms now...2 days in...feel ok still at the moment tbh.

Have you had EC yet? How are you feeling?

Can't believe ivf is free in France! That's amazing! We've spent about £11k to date. 

Xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hi! 
Just got a very very faint bfp at 5dp5dt! So very excited but still need to get to three months!! How you feeling simming? Its intense isn't it. I found the trigger the worst. Let me know how it goes! Your turn for a bfp!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Omg congratulations!! That's is amazing news, fingers crossed for the coming weeks then!

I've been to clinic today, after only 7 days of stimms and they want me to do trigger tonight and be in first thing Friday morning for EC. All seems to have happened so fast as they were talking about next Monday or even Wednesday. I'm just hoping they haven't 'grown' me too big too fast and need to get me in. 

This time I've felt s**t on them! never felt Ill on them before but have felt really sickly this time, I'm on a higher dose tho so maybe that's why. 

I'm so pleased for you, please keep me updated! Let hope this ones the one! Xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hey. 
Well things are more complicated at the moment. I have OHSS and am back and forth to hospital. On top of that my second beta wasn' t amazing and so now I'm in the waiting game to see if I will once again miscarry ( next beta tomorrow). Trying to have a baby is such an unbelievable roller coaster.  I'm sure you are going to do great! Make sure you drink lots of liquids as thats what I failed to do once I thought I had passed the danger point! Hoping for a BFP for you!!!!!!!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Any more news? How are you feeling?

Not great news here either, got 9 eggs on Friday, however some weren't mature and others didn't fertilise correctly and by the time they rang me on Saturday I only had one left. It's managed to survive till today and they have said it's currently grade 1-2 and 4 cell, having it transferred tomorrow. Pretty gutted tho as I was sure we'd be left with more than one! 

I also had a bad egg collection. My last two cycles I was fine after EC but this time I was in agony afterwards, no idea why but only just got back on my feet really today, 2 days later. 

Anyway, nothing else I can do now but have it returned tomorrow no let nature decide its fate! 

Keep me updated with your news, fingers crossed for you, it's made it this far, pray it hangs on xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Oh I really hope it goes well! Believe in that one little eggy, positive energy makes the world of a difference. between my first two betas I was scared and negative and they didn't double between the second and third I meditated and tried to be a positive as possible and they just about doubled. Our minds are very powerful as they control our hormones. When you go in tomorrow send all the love and positive energy you can muster up! No negative thoughts! At least you would have known you gave it everything! I feel positive for you! Its going to go great!
As for me I'm figuring out how to control the water retention now so its getting a little easier. I can only drink rehydrate solutions! I am done with betas now as I known its making me crazy and told the doctor I wont do anymore. I'm content now enjoying being pregnant even if I know it may not last. I have been through this so many times I know I can't mentally prepare for a loss and so might as well be super positive and deal with disappointment if and when it happens. Let me know how tomorrow goes!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Your right, was feeling a little disappointed about it all but what the heck, what will be will be and it only takes that one doesn't it. I have nicknamed it spongebob as my little one is obsessed with him so me and spongebob will hopefully get well acquainted over the next two weeks as I'll be chatting to him wherever I go! I had reflexology so was nice a chilled out this morning prior to popping him back in.

Hope it all goes ok for you, how many weeks are you now? It's such a long 12 weeks isn't it, but if it'd meant to be it'll hang on in there xxx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

I love songbob, what a great name! I have called mine the chosen one lol How old is your child? I'm now 5 weeks so a while till I get to the second trimester! My main objective is 10 weeks as after that point NK cells normally don't attack! Had intralipids yesterday so hoping I'm protecting the chosen one against my terminator of a uterus!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

My original IVF miricle is now 3 1/2!! She's a little terror, but so much fun and at such a lovely age. She's already stated that she's asking Santa for a baby, 'but not a dolly mummy....a real baby.' So I'm praying it works this time so I can tell her at christmas! 

5 weeks to go for you then, let's pray the chosen one is a fighter, you should call him Patrick after spongebobs best mate! Haha 

Are you starting to feel sick etc now?


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

How cute asking Santa, it will bring you good luck!! It would be perfect timing for Christmas! I'm getting the very first signs of feeling sick so wondering if its about to start. Last time it has started at 5.5 weeks and was full on by 6. So lets see! I know I will be happy when its full on as i will reassure everything is increasing normally! Aren't we weird wanting to feel sick! How are you feeling?  Im guessing its still too early for implantation? i can feel it every time! I have started yoga, at first fertility yoga and now prenatal and I'm finding it perfect for relaxation. You do anything to keep you calm through all this?


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

I'm 5 days into it now and haven't felt a thing, not a single twinge  preparing for the worst. I felt implantation with my DD so I'm guessing it's not good news. 

I do think I've maybe overdone it a bit, I don't get chance to relax, I run my own very stressful business and have a 3 year old plus 3 dogs. So it's just been a usually chaotic week in my house, wish I'd tried to rest up a little more but just don't get chance. 

I suppose if anything I've felt very tired this last few days and possibly hungrier than normal, but the tiredness may be the whole ivf catching up on me as well as everything else and the hunger may be because I'm usually a gym junkie but obviously I've laid off for now so thinking sod it and eating things I wouldn't normally (sat in bed eating wotsits as I type!)

I suppose what will be will be, I'm just hoping the next 10 days go by and I get to test day, praying for a miracle.

Good news on the sickness!! It's always reassuring knowing you feel pregnant isn't it. How is the OHSS now, do the symptoms subside as the pregnancy goes on?


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

You are 5 days after a 3 day transfer right? Its early days still you don't need to worry! You could be implanting today or in the next two days! Also for me the biggest sign was being tiered so hang in there you might be pregnant! Remember every pregnancy is different and you will feel implantation in some and not in others. I had one with implantation bleeding, two that I felt implantation and one nothing. I also had one non pregnant cycle with 'implantation bleeding' and one with 'implantation cramps!' Our minds our tricky things! Also I'm sure that you haven't over done it, us 'fertility challenged' women are so careful compared to other women. REally I'm sure you did nothing wrong at all! Probably good you have been keeping yourself busy! Keep positive!!!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Thanks for the positive vibes, I need to shake myself and say it's not over until test day. I've been googling (my hubby goes mad when I wind my self up googling things!) but it seems there are lots of women who don't feel a thing for the entire 2 weeks and get a positive. Also been with a friend today who rightly pointed out if this was a natural pregnancy I wouldn't even have a clue at this point and wouldn't suspect a thing until my period was due. 

Time will tell! How are you feeling?? xx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

My friend just found out she was pregnant and is already 6 weeks pregnant! She had been chatting with me about all my symptoms for the last two weeks and didn't even notice she was pregnant. Don't worry you may get symptoms a little later!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

How are you doing? Everything going ok? 

I still haven't caved and tested. I'm now 10dpt on my 3dt, so have 5 days left but think I might test on Saturday as it's killing me now. Still don't really feel too different, bit bloated and if anything period symptoms are starting. Very tired too 

Have booked a hair app this aft to cheer me up, although my DD will have to come with me so may not be the relaxation I'm hoping it will be!

X


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Being tiered is always by biggest sign, so you sound great!!!! Everything else is the same as PMS! WHy are they getting you to test so late? My doctors had me tests at 15 days after collection ... i think ... yeah it was 10 days after a 5 day transfer. I was a nervous reck yesterday as I suddenly wasn't feeling sick anymore and my boobs were hurting less.. Of course I was convinced it was over and feeling very sorry for myself. The moment DH started to make me laugh ( after about 8 hours of sulking) my nausea came back and I realized my boobs were very sore. The more **** I go through in this journey the more I realize that our minds are so powerful. I used to always think it was so bs when people spoke about the power of the mind now I'm convinced that we control so much of what happens to our bodies. Today I'm fine and feel as sick as ever which is amazing! ( I love how I want to feel ill!) NExt step is the ultrasound on monday and I'm terrified. Its always the moment they realize that there is a problem with me as two of the three miscarriages were missed ones. I know I need to be positive but its so hard to stay centered! Just a few more days for you! How exciting! Lets hope that the next few days bring us both amazing news! Come on guardian angels its our turn this time!!!


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Caved in and tested today at 12 days past 3dt....POSITIVE! 

Did a test about 6am but I did it wrong and just had error on it, then did a sainsburys digital one at about 9am which said positive then I went out and bought a clear blue digital one which I did about 1pm and that also said positive and 2-3 weeks, so scared it's not true though with me testing early!!


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

AAMMMMMMMAAAAAzzzziiiiiinnnngggg! I told you not to worry! Don't even think about anything negative now. Everything you think is transfered. Your pregnancy is healthy everything is great!!! 

Great news for me too! The ultrasound was perfect! Now just a few more weeks till I'm our of danger! Come on lets have two great pregnancies! When are you due? EArly July right?


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## Rebel400 (Sep 28, 2013)

Thank you!!! And fab news for you too! 2014 is our year! I don't know when I'd be due, going for my scan on 28th November. I presume about end of July. I presume I'd be about 4 weeks now. I've done about 8 pee sticks in total and all are positive so I'm starting to believe it a little now. Plus I am on my knees exhausted and have even stated to feel a little icky now and then, praying good signs! 

So how many weeks are you now? Will you be having another scan at 12 weeks? 

Eeeeeeeek! Xxx


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## natty83 (Oct 1, 2013)

Hi! 
I'm 8 weeks today so this is the week that the placenta is supposed to take over and save me from my Nk cells! REally hoping that everything goes smoothly! I have a ultrasound at 9, 10 and 11 weeks! Supposedly though I can celebrate if all goes well next week. My nausea is absolutely terrible! I'm happy I have it as it relaxes me to think everything is 'ok' but its crippling. On top of that I shouldn't have any as I'm on perdisolone which supposedly stops it! You are already sick at 4 weeks? You will have it bad then as its normally starts a little later! You doing HCG tests? Or have they spared you from that stress!


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