# Book for Single Women TTC in the UK??



## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Hi all,

I just finished reading 'Knock Yourself Up' and although it was a good read, I found myself wishing that there was something similar for us single girls in the UK. Of course many of the 'emotional' experiences we go through are the same, but there are also some big differences in the US, particularly from the more practical perspective. 

So I got to thinking that perhaps I'd have a go at writing something - both a practical 'how to' guide, combined with the personal experiences and anecdotes of single women in the UK trying to have a baby. I've no idea how to go about getting something published or even whether there would be a market for it. And I wouldn't be doing it to make any money, but rather to help others thinking about becoming a single mother by choice here in the UK.

For now I'm just going to start taking notes, and keeping a record of my experiences and see where it takes me. If it becomes more than just a vague idea, then it would be great to 'interview' some of you to learn from your experiences too. 
And if there's anyone out there who is a bit of a writer (I make no claim to be that....my background is more in research than writing) then perhaps we could even collaborate?

What do you think? Crazy idea or worth pursuing? 

Laura
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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

that is sppoky Laura as I just posted and suggested that there was a book in all this.

There are some UK based books written by Lisa Saffron- have you researched the Gay Press this where I found out all my info when starting on this journey over 3 years ago.  Lisa is connected with the D'Arcy Laine Foundation and they have guides etc, I joined for the info and newsletters etc.  She also ran donor conception/AI workshops around the country- I signed up for one but my Dad died that weekend in 2005.  It may be worth consulting with Nat Gamble FF Lawyer for advice.

What about asking Tony on FF about publishing something via FF's or the infertility network.  If you do need subjects I have several women single mother, gay/straight who have adopted/IVF'd/IUI'd etc who I am sure wouldn't mind being interviewed and donors (maybe if you anonymised as most books do!), might also be worth asking the girls on the gay thread as again we are down the same routes of TTC without a male partner/needing sperm etc

Good Luck
L x


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## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

Great idea Laura.  I know what you mean about the US slant of Knock Yourself Up and there's definitely a book in all this.  As JJ1 says I bet most people would be happy talking anonymously and it would be interesting having the experiences of single straight women too as there's the whole trickiness of dating to contend with which possibly gives things a slightly different slant to a gay woman's experience.
They say pregnant women get a spurt of creativity!  

Felix xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

That's what I was thinking Felix - there are UK books aimed very specifically at gay women, and US books aimed at single women in general. But nothing specifically for single straight women in the UK. Although I guess for single gay women the dating issue is there too....anyway, I wouldn't be excluding anyone, but perhaps just taking the single straight woman perspective as the primary focus area since that is where there seems to be a gap in the current market

JJ1 - thanks for the suggestions. Will check out the Lisa Saffron books, I had not heard of them. Anyone interviewed would definitely be anonymised (unless they didn't want to be)....but I don't think I'm anywhere near the interview stage yet. Just a vague idea at this point. Think I will start to keep/take notes and see what develops. Feels like quite an ambitious project at the moment, but if I at least start gathering some thoughts together, perhaps it will just somehow turn into something worth taking further....

Laura
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## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

Yes, I agree the dating issue is there for gay women too but it's less of a personal affront to a gay partner that you are choosing to have someone else's child while dating them...?

Good luck with the project!

Felix xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Yes, I guess that's true....although perhaps we'd have to ask the gay women how they feel about it since we're not in that position  

I can't imagine how I would even bring up the topic with someone I was dating. All of my male friends have been cool about it, if slightly embarrassed when I go into too much detail for them    But it's quite different when it's someone you are dating....

Think this could turn out to be quite a project! Oh well, even if it doesn't end up going anywhere it will keep me busy during the 2WW's...

Laura
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## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

Agree that it'd be no less complicated being on this journey as a gay woman...

Keeping busy during the 2WW seems to be the trick! 

I recently bought an IVF hypnotism CD that has a separate section for the 2WW which apparently as well as visualising the embies settling in nicely gets you to focus on other things besides the 2WW!  Very sensible advice.

F xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

my friend is a lesbian in a long term realtionship and then brought up the subject of wanting a baby and her partner couldn't cope with it- needless to say the partner parted, they sold their home, and she pursued her dream, started dating whilst having IVF at LWC and is still with her partner 2 pregnancies later.

May people also make their own blogs or 2ww diaries (Lou) did as a way to keep notes.
L x


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