# Am I being selfish?



## mrs.kiwi (Mar 20, 2011)

So after 9 years of trying,one vasectomy reversal one iu and two icsi's, we decided enough was enough and our remaining sperm should be destroyed. 
Then a year later we had an email from the clinic saying there was a mix up with the forms and our samples were not destroyed!
I have taken it as a sign a chance for one last go!
We can only afford iui so I want to go for it in September. 
The problem is that my dh is 50 this year and feels he is too old to be having a child now.
He will go along with it for my sake but am I being totally selfish letting him do that?
I am very confused, any advice?  Xx


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## millymolly8 (Feb 21, 2010)

Kia Ora Mrs Kiwi!

No words of wisdom, but just a couple of thoughts.

I would be that person who would think that it is a sign to try again....

But, my thoughts would be.
What did it feel like when you had given the go ahead to have the sperm destroyed 12 months ago, had you accepted that you would not have any children, or have you always been thinking of alternative ways to have a baby?

Whilst you say your partner/husband isn't that keen but will go along with what you decide, what do you think would be the hardest for both of you to accept and live with in the future- the sperm being destroyed and never knowing, or going ahead and hopefully getting pregnant.

Would you be able to sit down with a counsellor and discuss this together so you both understand what both of your feelings would be if either the sperm was destroyed or whether you went ahead with a cycle?

Hope that makes sense.  Good luck with what you decide.

Mandi


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## mrs.kiwi (Mar 20, 2011)

Hi Mandi 
Thanks for your reply, 
when we decided to have the sperm destroyed it was purely because we didn't have any money for another tx let alone the storage!
I had accepted it to a certain extent but always felt incomplete and kinda angry about life not being fair!
But my dh is against adoption so I just had to move on.
so when we were told there was another chance, albeit iui this time due to lack of funds, I feel we would be stupid not to take this one last chance.
I think my dh thought our 9 year journey was finally over and was relieved, he now thinks im obsessed and will never stop but I know after these samples are used that really is it xx 
beca x


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