# **The Baby Thing**



## Abzstar2013 (Jan 14, 2013)

' Oh it's the baby thing!!', don't know how many times I've said this, must be millions, literally.

It's when: You're at work, dragged yourself out of bed, because the minute you woke up you thought 'And here we are again, another No baby day'. Aware you're walking through the doors with a blank look on your face. You're quiet, and completely uninterested. You want to go home, put your jammies on, eat chocolate, watch cheesy films, bra off, all comfy........'You OK Abz?'........look up with half a forced smile on your face and say 'Yeah, I'm OK, IT'S JUST THE BABY THING' 

It's when: You're with family, you know, they know in fact everyone knows the heart ache we're going through, you try to smile, you try to be happy and thats all you can do is try. But they ALL know you too well or the situation too well, and say 'You OK Abz, no not really?'........'No I'm not, you know, I'TS JUST THE BABY THING' 

Orrrrrr: With the love of your life. The person you soooooooooo want to have this experience with, and have every faith in to be the other parent to your baby. Been one of those particularly bad times in this whole experience....not spoken properly for days, they can't say or do anything right. You're sat watching the T'V together....all's quiet. You're yet again in a mess, in tears. 'I know you're not OK Abz'.....'No, IT'S THE BABY THING' 

This BABY THING is a complete part of life now 

Anyone else for the BABY THING!!  

xxxxxxxxxx


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## Snowy81 (Jun 18, 2012)

Abzstar

I am so with you on this, although I generally only say "No I'm not fine, its just the baby thing" in my head, or occasionally to hubby.

Sending lots of hugs

xx


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

totally get ya abz,

love the bra off comment btw, that did make me smile


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## Carrots12 (Oct 26, 2011)

Hi Abz  

Yep, I totally get you, although with me it's "I'm fine".  Fine is never a good answer.

You want me to order flowers for someone that's just had a baby..... "Sure, I'm fine to do that".

You've just told me your preggers with your 2nd baby after trying for a month, am I okay.... "Absolutely, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?".

Sending lots of hugs your way.

xxx


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## Maisyz (Dec 15, 2010)

Yep, it completely takes over your life sadly.


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## Abzstar2013 (Jan 14, 2013)

Hey girls! So good to hear from us all   

You can but try and smile at it all, and take comfort in any support. Thanku for your comments, lovely to hear from u xxx


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## hopepaige (Aug 13, 2011)

Im with you ladies on this one it definately takes ova your life in every way.
my sil announced the other day she is preggies after stopping the pill for 1 mth i tell you 1 mth.
i burst into tears, got in my car and drove, i dont no where to i just drove. 
she is family, i should be happy but im just so so sad, angry, confused, like why me why why why
it does seem everywhere you turn 'baby' talk happens somewhere along the line


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## Abzstar2013 (Jan 14, 2013)

Yes hopepaige, I've recently gone through the exact same situation. I've not been to see the baby, I simply will not put myself through any more crap!!! 

I've also gotten over the feeling guilty thing now too, and I've turned it round in fact. We haven't exactly had the understanding we thought we would from said sil and bil, and if anything, they should be feeling a little guilt not seeing where we are coming from, I say a little I mean a lot!! 

Anywho, bitterness is not good for the soul, and it's not worth it in the long run. It is now that we should be seriously putting ourselves and our own mind at rest and first in front of everything. It's being selfish in a perfectly acceptable way 

Love in bundles x x x x


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

_Anywho, bitterness is not good for the soul, and it's not worth it in the long run. It is now that we should be seriously putting ourselves and our own mind at rest and first in front of everything. It's being selfish in a perfectly acceptable way

Well said abz  

X
Ducky_


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## elli78 (May 22, 2011)

yep know exactly what you mean. except for me v few people know what we are going through. sometimes i think of telling peoplebut i cant bear feeling like a failure as a woman. love n hugs xx


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## Abzstar2013 (Jan 14, 2013)

Thanks Ducky and Ellie 
The failure thing is also crap. That was and has been the bite in my backside for a long time now. In my deep rage at the world I used to say that women are here to reproduce, it's up to us carry on with the human race. I know obviously it couldn't be done without those lickle tadpoles... but still!! Obviously for those that can't then they are equally entitled to happiness somehow. For some, we ever so sadly do not have the choice.

It's been the topic of many a hurtful rant at the bf. I've said tones of times that he should go find someone else if I can't give him children. I wouldn't want that guilt on me. I would want him to be happy and father children......oh it can be so painful 

Keep going my friends. There MUST be light at the end of all our tunnels. If not I will personally provide each and everyone of us with a torch until it happens!!!


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## Mooncat (Oct 26, 2012)

Oh my goodness, I am so with you Abz... no matter where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, the baby thing is NEVER far from the front of my mind  And I've also told my husband countless times that he should find someone else who can give him children, feel so guilty that my body is taking away his chance of being a dad  I hate how it's cast a shadow over my life, changed how I feel about my fertile friends and family, made me not want to be around babies or baby talk or any of that... 

But like you say, we can't let it take over our lives or destroy our relationships. Gotta find the strength to keep going and keep hoping and keep smiling  One way or another we'll find our way through, and be all the stronger for it  xxx


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## Abzstar2013 (Jan 14, 2013)

Hey Mooncat

It's always good to hear when I've struck a cord with people on here, reminds me I'm not orf me rocker!!! 

I do actually feel like I'm ever so slightly crazy though, 'it's' bound to I guess, laugh or cry 

Lovely to hear from you, thank you all once again for your responce

xxx


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## Nosilab (Jun 29, 2011)

Hiya

Yes I totally get the "oh, it's just the baby thing, y'know".  Very well written  

xx


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## Abzstar2013 (Jan 14, 2013)

Hey Nosilab 

Your personal notes about your history is sad to read  I'm sorry that you haven't had a good time.

Life can be sooooo godamn hard, and it never seems to give you a break. I sometimes cannot understand the actual reason I am here, what purpose is there to it all....

It's certainly good to hear from people on here, it helps.

Fingers up to 'The baby thing'!!! keep the smiles alive if we can  xxxx


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## Nosilab (Jun 29, 2011)

Abz

Totally agree that life can seem so hard and unfair    Definitely fingers up to 'The Baby Thing"!!  

xxx


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