# Muslim Posters - part 4



## Wraakgodin

Hello ladies!

Welcome to your new home!!!

Happy chatting!!!

Sue


----------



## isobel snow drop

Thank you Wraakgodin   xx


----------



## diya80

Bookmarking.....new thread aftet a looooong time.


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum.
Anyone tried cupping?


----------



## positive4eva

Sadya I had cupping done at Madina after my hajj! I had it done for infertility! 
My hubby has it every year as a sunnah!


----------



## Calmbaby

I have thought about trying cupping but wasn't sure. Does it hurt??


----------



## positive4eva

Not really! It looks worse den it is but it's really minor! I would def recommend! It heals really well aswell!


----------



## Calmbaby

Thank you. I think i will book a session.


----------



## SingleMuslim

positive4eva said:


> Not really! It looks worse den it is but it's really minor! I would def recommend! It heals really well aswell!


Please be careful with cupping - if there is ANY chance that you COULD be pregnant.


----------



## positive4eva

Calmbaby Ur welcome! x every sunnah has a benefit!


----------



## diya80

Zainab where exactly in madina..?im from dubai so...cupping is available very easily...want to try...inshAllah doing istikhara.our Prophet( SAW )did sooo many times in his life.so i also will try.


----------



## positive4eva

It was in a clinic near masjid Nabi! My sister got it done from London aswell! I would def recommend it! Let me kno how u get on!
X


----------



## zest42day

Thank you sue.  Can I ask where wraakgodin comes from? I'm intrigued..

As for cupping, my dh tried due to sunnah and found that it relieved his constant headaches.  I didn't know about it being harmful to a pregnancy singlemuslim.  something to bear in mind.


----------



## Wraakgodin

zest42day said:


> Thank you sue. Can I ask where wraakgodin comes from? I'm intrigued..


Ooooh, it is one of those things when you need to think of a forum name, and panic!!! 

It is Dutch, I live in The Netherlands with my Dutch husband (I am originally from Cambridge). I am a big fan of Agatha Christie and I was reading (or trying to!) her book "Nemesis" in Dutch to help me learn the language, the name of the book in Dutch is "Wraakgodin".

I joined FF when I was going through a difficult phase with accepting that we needed treatment and wondered if God was punishing me somehow for something I had done, I wasn´t sure what, but wanted to find some sort of reason why we were going through this. And the name Nemesis, the Greek goddess of retribution/vengance seemed appropriate at the time, I just used the Dutch version.

Seems silly now, but that is the story!!!

Sue


----------



## SingleMuslim

zest42day said:


> I didn't know about it being harmful to a pregnancy singlemuslim. something to bear in mind.


As I understand it, there is anecodtal evidence of cupping maybe assisting pregnancy, but if pregnant (or any chance of), cupping should be avoided on the stomach and lower back.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum, 

I have had cupping done once a month for about 8 months, alhumduillah its ok, not much pain - just small pricks which arent too painful.  I have mine done in east london, i have found two major benefits 1. no more migraines which I suffered from quite badly, 2. return of periods - I have had 6 regular periods.  Previously i would only have one every 2 years.  Cupping works differently for each person.  I have had it done both on my back and stomach.

Hope that helps.


----------



## zest42day

sue, wow.  what a story.  I always wonder how people come up with their names.  mines is very boring in comparison!  It's good to have you on here after your success.

Sophie, it's really interesting that you say cupping helped your periods.  I know it has many benefits.


----------



## babywant321

As-Salamu-Alakum Sisters

I am messaging from my husbands profile. 

May Allah reward you all with children and me.

I really need some motivation as to going through. My husband has severe Olgizzospermia. 

I am 26 and he is 28

I have had 2 ICSI failed cycles last year May, and last year December!.....we have 2 embryos FET most likely to be transferred this month

Thereafter, we are thinking of doing regular minimal stimulation ICSI since it is cheaper

But i feel like time is ticking and my wife responds slowly to the drugs first cycle 10 eggs second cycle more meds 5 eggs!

I feel like LOSING HOPE since all are having and i feel lonely

Any advice/experiences to boost my morale!


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alkium sister babywant321 
Welcome on this thread...we all r here for support inshAllah 
I can understand ur feelings..but our sufferings r nothing if we compare with others.so say always alhumdullilah.
when a child ask for something ..sometimes mother doesn't give that thing to her child.but when the proper time comes mother gives the same thing even without the demand.so keep one thing in  ur mind that Allah loves us more than 70mothers.subhanAllah.

Dont lose hope...do u know the story of hazrat Ibrahim and hazrat Zakria.?(may Allah be pleased with them)
They never lose hope so just the follow the sunnah of these great men...do lots of dua...lots of sadqa and lots of istaghfar...
Allah will bless us all inshAllah.

I know a lady...she had 3 failed icsi in india and she was ready to adopt a baby...they were waiting mean while they decided to just give an other try of icsi which they did in kuwait...and u know what?.. Allah blessed her with twins boys mashAllah.

Do few things...
1-dont miss any namaz.
2-do istaghfar as much as u can.
3-go for cupping if u can.
4-soak 4,5 figs in zamzam keep them over night and give them to ur hubby before breakfast.
5-add black seeds in ur diet.and olive.
Figs and olives.....u know the surah Ateen?Allah subhan wa talla swear upon these  two things...

And be positive..i know sometimes its hard to be....but we should be.

I will pray for u and u too pray for me and all the sisters.
May Allah forgive us all.
Take care.
Sadya.


----------



## babywant321

Jzk Allah so much Sr

When you mean stay positive, shall i think "it will work" or "it can happen" - sometimes i worry about getting hopes high and then it comes crashing!!

My problem is i fear and expect the worse! Our experience in India was horrible..we want to try europe

Its difficult dealing with negativity - plus when you read too much into tests etc you get confused

eg sperm defragmentation test, some say good test some say its waste of money so consultant can even be a factor when we deal with

We want to try reprofit and gennet in czech its cheaper and mini ivf looks easy

We have 2 embryos due this month - Allah wills - pls make dua' sometimes i wonder does this really work

JzkAllah for your reply


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam all
Welcome Babywant321
Plz dnt lose hope! Allah can do anything like Sadya jus pointed out! I jus want to add if u can try read Tahajud Salaah if u dnt already!
We will all remember u in our prayers as we can understand wot u r goin thru! Allah knows best! For sumthing to work u need to have faith dat it will work IA! Which at times is very hard I kno bcoz I was the same! 

Good luck
Take care 
X


----------



## diya80

positive4eva said:


> Salaam all
> Welcome Babywant321
> Plz dnt lose hope! Allah can do anything like Sadya jus pointed out! I jus want to add if u can try read Tahajud Salaah if u dnt already!
> We will all remember u in our prayers as we can understand wot u r goin thru! Allah knows best! For sumthing to work u need to have faith dat it will work IA! Which at times is very hard I kno bcoz I was the same!
> 
> Good luck
> Take care
> X


Exactly.


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum...
Sofi how r u dear...long time no chit chat..i always pray for u...i hope that u will be fine.


----------



## zest42day

Salaams Mrs babywant,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so disheartened.  I know it is so difficult, but try to look at the positive things in your life.  You are married.  I hope you are very happy.  You problems are diagnosed, so in some ways easier to deal with.  Your age is also on your side.  Please don't lose hope.

There are always people around us who seem to have it easy, but try not to say why me?  Becasue there will always be people, many on this very forum, who have it harder than us.  We have to say Alhamdulillah for all that Allah has given us.  And sometimes ( on my good days), I feel blessed, that Allah has chosen to test us in this way.

And you have heard it so many times before, but I will say it again,  God will not burden us with more than we can bear.  So know and believe  that you do have the strength in you to deal with this.  Take Gods tests with open arms. I once heard that  Syedna Umar is reported to have said 'I pray not that Allah eases my burden, but that He increases my strength'

And so we should pray to God to make us more patient and give us all the strength to bear his tests with a smile!

Praying that your dreams come true one day soon,
Zest


----------



## diya80

Zest u have quoted beautiful words...


----------



## Guest

Wa alaykum sisters...very true and kind words from you both.Alhumduillah I'm doing ok..I have only started taking meds today as I've have cold and cough and took painkiller s which I cant can't with provera.  How's everyone doing


----------



## zest42day

Salaams to all and thank you.  
Sophie, glad to see you have started your meds.  Four months must seem like such a long time.
Sadya, I'm liking the addition to your profile, a lovely words.


----------



## zest42day

I'm due to have my pretreatment scan on Tuesday and then if all goes well, will start Downregging 2 weeks after that.  No eggs fertilised last time, so if I get a BFN, even if I make it to egg transfer, Alhumdullilah.  It will give me more hope for the future.  Of course I hope and pray for a BFP! but what will be will be.

I hope everyone is doing well.


----------



## diya80

Thanx zest...i also love yhis whenever i read my own profile.... best of luck for ur treatment....
Sofi...dont worty my dear..inshAllan everything will be PERFECT by the grace of Allah.

Im planning to start again...inshAllah very soon..put on 6 kgs have to lose weight   any tips?...


----------



## zest42day

.i also love yhis whenever i read my own profile.... 

Lol!

Tips for weightloss?  I'm not the greatest inspiration at the moment, although my fitness pal has helped me in the past, as well as taking part in some kind of class, like zumba which motivates me.  But its certainly not working at the moment!


----------



## Strings

Assalam o Alaikum,

I wanna join muslim sisters in this forum.I m new on this forum....ttc for 2 years.I have one blocked tube.we haven't tried any treatment yet but planning for ivf,inshaaAllah.

may Allah bless you all.ameen.


----------



## diya80

Wasalam,
Wekcome strings on this thread.and best of luck for ur treatment.


----------



## zest42day

Ws Strings and welcome.

Interesting username!

Zest


----------



## Strings

jazakAllah sadya and zest  

anyone out there trying to lose some weight....lets share.


----------



## zest42day

Ha ha.  Aren't we all!  I for one am trying, or should I say was trying to lose weight.  Struggling a bit at the moment.  But I've lost about 20lbs.


----------



## positive4eva

Welcome strings!
Weight loss! Story of my life!  
Zest well done in losing 20 lbs! Any tips plz?


----------



## dreamer86

As'salaam alaikum wa rahmatulah

I don't know if any of you remember me but I did ICSI last year.I have been so busy but today as I had a minute I thought i should pop by and say Hello and let you all know that you are in my duas.

Sisters don't loose hope Allah swt is the best of planners keep making dua and try to stay positive insha Allah. Keep within the bounds of Islam and remember that nothing is possible with out the will of Allah swt.

Love you all Fisabililah

Your sis in Islam


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam dreamer
Thanx for popin in! Hope u and babies r well! Glad to hear u been keepin busy!
Lov to kids xxx


----------



## diya80

Aoa,
Nice to see u dreamer..how r ur boys?
Well...im also trying to lose weight..
Zest how do u lost 20lbs masAllah?tell me i ve to lose 1.5 stones.... 
How r u zainab?


----------



## babywant321

Salams sisters

Need some advice please - 

1. I got married in 2009, moved with hubby 2010 - year later

In 2011 went for checks and 2012 - done two icsi cycles - one in uk next in india which i wasnt convinced was a proper cycle

Here i am 2013 already march doing ET this month, feel like time is running im 27 in september

How many icsi cycles have ladies done max in a year, anyone sone mini ivf ?

2. My mother in law is 57 getting sad if she will ever see grandkuds - anyways to cheer her up

Jzk sisters may Allah reward you


----------



## diya80

Dear babywant321..dont get upset...u r young...ur agevis ur pluse point.we almost all sisters crossed 30s 

We dont know what Allah has decided for us....ur own health is much more important than anything else..stress is bad for u.try to do istikhara and make dua that whenever it is good for u may Allah make up ur mind.i do pray that may Allah bless u without any treatment and give u healthy babies ameen.
Relax dear.


----------



## Samar

Salaamu aliakum sisters,hope everyone is doing fine and keeping strong and pls sisters do not lose hope  for allah`s mercy.
This hard time will not be forever insha allah allah will hear our prayers and allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.
Allah made me a mummy after 12 yr alhamdulilah.

Wraak I thought your name was Dutch.


Dua and a lot of love ur sister .


----------



## dreamer86

Alhamdulilah sisters they are both well masha Allah they are going to be 1 years old on 24th of March gone so quick!

Alhamdulilah

for those who don't know, some duas we did while trying

You may pray the du'aa' of Zakariya (peace be upon him), who said:

"Rabbi laa tadharni fardan wa anta khayr ul-waaritheen (O my Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors)." This is a beautiful du'aa' which is very appropriate in this case. Also suitable is another prayer of Zakariya: "Rabbi hab li min ladunka dhurriyyatan tayyibatan innaka samee' al-du'aa' (O my Lord! Grant me from You a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation)."

(from islam q&a source) Thinking about the story of Zakariya (peace be upon him) is very beneficial for anyone who is infertile. One may also ponder the story of Ibraaheem and his wife Saarah, whom Allaah rewarded for their patience with Ishaaq when Ibraaheem was very old. He was also given another son, Ismaa'eel. Allaah tells us that His khaleel (friend) said (interpretation of the meaning):

"All praises and thanks be to Allaah, Who has given me in old age Ismaa'eel and Ishaaq. Verily! My Lord is indeed the All-Hearer of invocations."[Ibraaheem 14:39]

and also sisters dua dua dua

The Prophet saas said:

"Nothing can change the divine decree except dua"

(Narrated by Ahmed, 5/677, Ibn Majah, 90 al Tirmidhi, 139. classed as hasan)

I pray that Allah swt blesses you all with children ameen.

Love you all fisabililah


----------



## diya80

Nice to see old members...we really need ur support.
zainab,dreamer,and samar thanx for being here


----------



## Samar

Sadya u welcome hun 

Dreamer i love the story of prophet Zakariya ,Ibrahim  and the mother of Maryma(Hana).


----------



## Amoon

Salaam all sisters, 
this is my first post and i am glad to join you..we all need this support. may Allah reward us for our patience...Ameen
If any of you live in west london (e.g ...Hounslow, Feltham, ect)...i would be happy to meet


----------



## positive4eva

Sadya thank u for always being der for us!  
Areej welcome! Ameen!
Hope every1 else is gud
Xxx


----------



## zest42day

Salaams to all.  Welcome Areej, Samar, dreamer.  Babywant, don't give up hope.  you have a lot on your side.  Positiveforever, thanks.  It's hard to give tips without knowing what youwhat you struggle with.  I've found 'my fitness pal' to be useful asi can note down my calories.


----------



## Amoon

Salaam Sisters and thanks for welcoming me to the group. we will definitely never give up hope insha Allah. At this stage i am still living the pain of not having my own childrenso keeping my self busy at work (which is full of pregnant women and newborn babies!!), . However, despite of what  Dr's told us, i am still positive and will be forever insha Allah. As you can see from my story in the signature, my husband's case is very difficult and according to Drs it is impossible to treat at present and we were advised to wait for the stem cells research to advance and be available to help with sperm  production in humans!! (maybe in 5 years) .....Therefore, we decided to go with egg freezing  and think of adopting a child may be next year inshaallah after performing Hajj....
So, Has any of you sisters know or heard of  good centres to save my "young eggs". I have never been through IVF or Other fertility treatments so this will be the first time and i feel very stressed, nervous and emotional because i will be going through IVF cycle knowing that my eggs will not and  might not be fertilized at all .  
any informations will be appreciated. J.A.K


----------



## babywant321

Salams All

Hi All

Just got some devastating news today, feel like crying ........

I had  AMH done after 2 years into fertility tests ALL her other results were fine, yet her AMH today was 9.22 pmo/L - which is classed as low fertility - she is only 26!!

Do we honestly have hope with ICSI since i have a low sperm count?

Just feel like giving up this test should have been done few years back why now!?

Any hope......


----------



## babywant321

Areej: you can freeze your eggs in the czech republic might be worth


----------



## Guest

Is egg freezing allowed in Islam?.. Not trying be to difficult.. But would be good to know a definite answer


----------



## positive4eva

Babywant plz dnt giv up inshAllah it will happen for u and ur wife! Jus continue treatment and do lots of dua at the right time it will happen IA!


----------



## isobel snow drop

Hi 9.22 is low reserve for your wives age but if you have tx now she should still get a good number of eggs. 4 yrs ago mine was 12. something and I got 13 or 14 eggs (can't re exactly) and 6 months later I got 12 eggs so you should still be looking at a decent number   stay strong xxx


----------



## babywant321

Thanks Isobel - in the first cycle 10 eggs were found second cycle 5 eggs with a different protocol, if ET doesnt work then mini


----------



## babywant321

Dear All

This is such a nice link, Subhan'Allah please read, and share....a recent scholar gave advice on infertility:

https://www.********.com/muftimuhammadofficial

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum,
Ladies...im right now taking pegnacare and metformin...should i start vitamin e 400mg...daily?planning to start the treatment.

And my 2nd question is regarding cupping...i called the dr and she said that u can do cupping any time during  the month if there is need..but i read that 17th 19th and 2st r the recommended dates...but the dr said that for the fertility i should do cupping from day 10 to 15 (in between these days)is it ok?

Take care everyone...have a great weekend..plz plz remember me in ur duas..i really need ur prayers...

Sadya.


----------



## diya80

How can start a new thread?


----------



## diya80

Hello....no reply?


----------



## Wraakgodin

sadya said:


> How can start a new thread?


Starting a new thread is easy. If you go to the board you want, you will see at the top right - *NEW TOPIC*, NEW POLL,UNNOTIFY, MARK READ.

Sue


----------



## zest42day

Salaams Sadia, 

Looks like wraakgodin has pointed you in the right direction.  Glad to see you are looking to start treatment Again.  With regards to cupping, you are right the sunnah days are the 17th, 19th and 21st of the Islamic month.  However, there is problem with doing it on any day, so if the cupping doctor has advised different days for you then that should be fine.

I am also taking pregnacare but wouldn't be able to advise on anything else.  There is a page on here which I am sure you are aware of that gives detailed info about what supplements to take.  I can try to post the link if you can't find it.

When do you plan to start treatment? I'm starting my DR injections on Tuesday.

Wishing you luck

Zest


----------



## zest42day

Sorry Sadia, that was meant to ay 'there is no problem' with doing it on other days.


----------



## ShahShah

Salam all, I have not posted in here for a long time and there seems to be a lot of new people.  Just wanted to say to keep positive for those of you that aretrying and for those of you that have come to the end of the road, it is in Allah's will when things happen.  I have a cousin who could not have children and then after 18 years she was blessed with a child naturally.  She never gave up hope and her imaan carried her through.  

I hope you are all doing well and those going through treatment like myself inshallah our prayers will be answered.

Take care 

Love ShahShah


----------



## zest42day

Ws shah shah, really pleased that you have had success.  Wishing y all the best for your next cycle and thanks for popping on to say hi.
Zest


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum,
How r u everyone?
Done hijama(cupping)last week alhumdulilah by an Egyptian lady Dr.but she just put 8 cups only at the back..but i saw on the youtube they put on diff parts of body...what would u say....?
She also gave me a herb..like seeds called habba tul hammra...with dates...i hope and pray that may Allah give me shifa..and its my request to u all..plz plz make dua for me....
Jizakillah khair.
Sadya.


----------



## zest42day

Inshallah, we pray that Allah blesses you with a healthy, pious child and makes all your dreams come true.  You have been through a lot, I pray Allah makes it easy for you.

Zest


----------



## diya80

I wish the same for u zest...jizakillah khair


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum,
How r u everyone?where r u all bz...no new post...this thread is not only to share ur news ..we can have some chit chat..
How is the weather in the UK.?im coming to Uk  by the end of this month.
Anyone needs anything from Dubai? 
Love you all..just for the sake of Allah.
Sadya.


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam sadia
How r u? 
Sorry I've jus been so busy! Wot u been upto? Can u plz bring hot weather from Dubai plz! 
I miss it soo much! Dubai is my favourite holiday spot! I jus took ayaan der in late November! Wer in uk u cumin? 
I jus read back to ur post about ur treatment inshallah dis time it's ur turn! U hav been so patient may Allah reward u wid lovely children!

Salaam to all the odas! 
Xxxxx
Take care


----------



## baby maryam

As salamo alaykum, it has been a long time since I have been here on the forum or posted anything.

My little Hanna is 6 mts old alhamdulillah, so she made me kinda get away from this forum, but I always keep you in my du'a, hoping that all our dreams come true, some day- one way or another. 
Is it possible to post photos here? 

Many kisses and salams from Tripoli, Libya.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Wa alaikum Salam baby M, sooooo lovely to hear from you, I've missed you but happy to hear how your life has moved on Alhamdulliah. Inshallah all is well with you all your family xx
Love
Isobel xxx


----------



## baby maryam

Yes, alhamdulillah the family is well. Oh, and there are good news on other fronts, my dear mother made shahadah few mts ago. She still has not learned praying, but inshallah, with help, she will get there. 
With my youngest sister, that makes 3 out of 5 family members are muslim in our 5 member family... so 3 down, 2 to go inshallah! 

How have you and ur kids and hubby been? How are my other sisters on this thread? Miss this place...


----------



## isobel snow drop

Mashallah what wonderful news Baby M. So happy for you and your new little family unit. We are all well Alhamdulliah, kids are 16 now which brings its own issues but that's life ;-) xx


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisters 
nice to hear from everyone again  
Sadya - London is still very cold for this time of the year, definitely bring the sun... i think we all fed up of the cold and snow!! 
baby maryam - I am very glad to hear the good news regarding your mother mashaAllah.  How is baby Hanna? I guess she is keeping you very busy! 
isobel snow drop - how are things with you? the kids are no longer kids eh!! 
positive4eva - hope you are doing well? How old is ayaan now?
Zest - hope you are well to ?

InshaAllah you are all in the best health and imaan and enjoying life with your family, keep us in your duas pls,

I do come on here and read, but feel i dont really have anything to add. No treatment at the moment and waiting for more tests before I can start my final cycle.

Other news my sister is due very soon, please keep her your duas


----------



## baby maryam

Little Hanna is doing well alhamdulillah, she had her 1st tooth come out some 15 days ago, she is already 6mts and 9 days old... yes she keeps me busy, it is the best type of busy and something I was preparing myself for all these yrs.  

We have some frozen embryos from the last cycle in april 2012, but no desire to use them yet... maybe in a few mts, when i do not have to carry Hanna around so much or if we get some house help with her. I could take her to her bio mom, but really do not want to create a problem of the attachment, so better not.
In all honesty- I lost my desire 4 treatment... Will give it a final go inshalah with the frozen ones, and that is it for me. 6 cycles of IVF/ICSI and 2 lost pregnancies have taken all my enthusiasm away...   

After all, I need to enjoy life a bit, and alhamdulillah, there is so much to enjoy...   

Don't want to depress any of you, I truly wish every1 all the success... love you all and many salams and kisses from Hanna and I. 


BarakAllah feeky for asking, good luck with your treatment.


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum everyone.
Nice to see u all..after a long time...
Baby maryam...very very brilliant news from Ur mum side..may Allah give her the best guidance and taqwa.and help Ur other family members ameen.lots of prayers for and Ur girl.
Sofia and zainab..i wish i could bring sun for u...here summer is coming..and we r sad that winter has gone..... 
So i think i should bring my winter clothes..right?
How r u sister Isobel? 

Lots of love and prayer for u all...may Allah forgive us and bless us all.ameen.please do pray for me.
Sadya.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum,
Sadya - I would definitely suggest you bring some weather clothes, it hasnt been more than 6/7 degrees in London, inshaAllah by the time you come the weather might improve, but you never know!  When are you hoping to start treatment, how was cupping session by the way? How often are you going?

baby maryam, i think hanna is truely a blessing in your life mashaAllah.  I completely understand the lost of desire to go for treatment, I am still in 2 minds about my final ivf treatment. Partly because Ive convinced myself its might not work and the thought of what me and hubby will do - pay for more treatment/adopt/or just be content with a childless marriage.  i hope whatever happens,  Allah (SWT) makes it easy for us both


----------



## diya80

Was,
Sofia,cupping was good..Alhumdullilah.i will try again after 3 months inshAllah.she just covered my back and she put 8 cups on my back..i hope Allah will accept it from me.


----------



## Guest

Sadya Insha'Allah it will go well. Good news from me ...My sister gave birth to a little boy this morning masha'Allah!


----------



## zest42day

Salaams all,

Sophie congratulations on the birth of your sisters baby.  you must be really happy for her.
Baby mariam, great news on about your mother and so glad you have a little bundle of joy to keep you busy.
Sadya, glad the cupping went well.
Isobel, wow, I didn't realise your twins would be that age, EC though I read your profile! the joys of the teenage years hey.
positive4eva, hope ur doing well

Keep me in your duas and I hope Allah blesses us all with our legitimate desires or gives us the strength to accept what is written for us.

Zest


----------



## baby maryam

Salam alaykum,
I realy wish all the best to all of you who are undergoing any type of treatment, pls don't give up, maybe ur success is just around that corner, you never know.

Sadya, barakAllah feeky, u r so strong and I know mashallah always kept me in ur du'as, I am sure Allah will answer ur deepest desires one way or the other. Sophie- don't give up, and if faith says different from our desires- then we just re-adjust our plans. There are so many yetama in this world and waiting for our love to be given to them... Zest, good luck sister, Allah maaky!

May Allah make it easy for all of you, I have not mentioned every1, but all of u are in my thoughts and prayers and heart. Inshallah some day, we shall meet, if not in Dunya, then in Akhira inshallah!

I will be popping from time to time to see what is going on- and inshallah when i decide to go for my final ET. 

Do u know how is Sister C?

Salamat to all.


----------



## Sara786

salam to all sisters, i have not been on here in along long time.

just update went abroad for traetment developed ohss and was very ill because of my pcos. then had sum embies frozen and AND fet still did not work and doc was very hopeful with the quality of embryo but it was not Allahs will. So i have now developed a fibroid? which i did not have before, will this effect my fertilty? i have no problems from it yet, and im going to see doc any advice?

jazakallah


----------



## zest42day

Ws Sara,

sorry to hear things have not gone well for you.  there is a lady on the march/April thread who had a fibroid and is going through IVF, so I'm guessing it is still possible to conceive.  maybe you could post in the IVF section and someone with more experience could help?

hope all goes well with you.

Zest


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum all

sara - sorry your treatment did not go well, I would definitley have the fibroid issue checked by out by a consultant before you start another treatment. Things like fibroids/polyps/cysts can impact on fertility treatment..  I have had both cysts and polyps and had them removed before I started my treatment.  It would be good if you had your medical notes from private treatment too, that would help the doctor.

I hope everyone else is doing well insha'Allah.  Nothing new happening with at the moment, I have another month of progestone tablets to take and waiting for hospital to book appointment for op..I am hoping insha'Allah this will all be done by ramandan.  I probably start treatment at the end of the year if they dont find anything else wrong insha'Allah.

Please can you all keep in your dua's, greatley appreicated


----------



## zest42day

Salaams all,

hope you are all dong well.
Sophie good luck for your op and subsequent treatment.

*afm*, I was going through my 2nd IVF and just had EC today, please pray that we get good fertilisation and all goes smoothly.

Zest


----------



## Guest

Zest..I pray that ET goes well insha'Allah. 

AFM won't be doing anything for a long time yet.long waiting list at hospital :-(


----------



## diya80

Dear zest...i do pray that may evetything go smooth and easy for u...and u will tell us about ur BFP  inshAllah...  
U too give sadqa and do lots of dua in sajood.
Keep us informing about the up dates.
Take care.
Sadya


----------



## zest42day

Thank you for your duas Sophie and Sadya.  Fertilisation went really well and we have ET on thurs.  
Zest


----------



## Rania82

Salams Ladies,

I pray that someone can cool my heart I am so so upset and I am even struggling to pray. Just over a week ago my 4th fresh IVF/ICSI Failed, I am just a total wreck and so so angry! I am angry at everything and the worse is that I am angry at Allah!  We have been married for 5.5 years, we go every year and perform Umrah and pray so so hard there and still nothing! never used any form of contraception and never been pregnant or even maybe!

Alhamduillah we use to have such an amazing marriage and now were just going through the motions. We have paid for ALL our treatments and NO FAMILY or friends knows the poop were going through! no one at all! and i am EXHAUSTED and im sick to death of hearing friends and family who only got married in the last few years and are ALL pregnant and expecting! they make it look so easy! I cringe when i go to a friends wedding as i know the next time i talk to her she will be pregnant! and its usually the case! (i must sound like such a harsh cow and mean infertility has destroyed my once easy going personality!) i swear to god this journey has ripped my heart time and time again!! i am FED UP! praying so so hard! reading surahs thats suppose to help with pregnancy!! crying so so hard on my  prayer mat begging Allah swt to give me a shot at motherhood and i swear the child will be very pious and loved! YET NOTHING. Ok were Muslims we know Allah swt has a plan and we can not argue with our destiny and what is written. I am fed up ladies and i HATE living like this day in day out! people are moving forward having children their on their 2nd and 3rd! and like a donkey I am running from one clinic to the next! my body is black and blue with all the shots and drugs going through me! I mean its not fair theres women 44+ and obese walking into the clinic and walking out with a positive WHY NOT ME? i am slim very healthy what was suppose to be my husbands v v  low count after 4IVFS something its just not right!! its like the lottery the more you try the better your chances??! oh reallY?

I am sick and tired to the bone, my body can not cry no more, I just want to adopt and call it a day! BUT my husband is not there yet and wants to keep going and do a 5th IVF 6th or 7th! I was like that at the start we 'will do as many as we need to get OUR BIOLOGICAL baby' but after the 4th one i am a zombie!! its sucked the life out of me! i am just skin and bones, i hate who i see in the mirror! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!

The same bull poop questions of family and friends 'when will you try for a baby? any news yet?' i hate seeing people get this gift so so easy while we have to suffer so so much. I love my husband so much he is such a blessing, i am losing my mind after this 4th cycle its like 'what the hell do we do now?' got married at 25 thought i would have a few kids by 30 i am 31 and 10000 step backwards!! Than we get into crazy rows and he says if you want you can leave me as i know you want a baby so much.. I mean after all this crap and pain we have been through I am NOT going to walk away!! i love him wayyyy to much, I just wish that Allah gives me a break. I just want 1 baby and im done!! NO WAY will i do IVF again I cant i just cant!! 

I am on my period now I have a headache i just dont know what we do and where we go from here, I was so hoping for a dec baby! what a way to end 2013! sometimes i feel no one else is going through this journey or gets it. Angry, sad, upset, frustrated, we have so much love to give and my home is crying out for a small baby, NOTHING! even if i had a chemical or something happened? SUBAHANLLAH NOTHING in 5.5 years and with 4IVFS Not even 1% of pregnancy??! I am so scared that I will be that women that IVF does not work for?? than you hear the crazy stories 'a women was trying for 15years and now shes a mom' I dont want to be a old mom i dont want this issue to be consuming my prime years. ALL my married friends have babies and i do not enjoy going or seeing any of them, I try and say my nephew said this my niece did that, ITS JUST NOT THE SAME. I would call myself a recluse i dont want to go out to see anyone.. Than my husband will say 'i miss the women i married your not that women any more' of course i am not! I have been poked and prodded my hayaat and dignity has gone through the window, i feel so violated and what for?? BFN

My faith has slipped and i need to get back on track. I want this so so bad! and I wish i can easily say 'Allahs plans are better for me than i think' I want to be a mom so so bad. It will complete me.

I know everyone in here has their own personal story and pain. I am hurting so so bad and some mornings i dont want to wake up.. i honestly cant keep living like this. Sometimes i am shocked that were doing IVF to have kids! our life is on hold, like a PAUSE EVERYONE has moved forward and myself and my husband is just stuck and financially were in a very bad place! we save and save and save we have spent over £60,000 going private and with ALL the intense testings etc etc and NOTHING, what people get for free and take for granted were suffering so so much.

I dont know if im making sense or where this message is going, i just want it to be ok and i want to be a mom


----------



## diya80

Rania...dear I'm in tears...  
Read my signature....i can understand ur feeling..u r still young...think about others...i also do pray alot...
I'm the only daughter of my patents..having 3 elder bothers mashAllah..and at the same time I'm the only daughter in law.
Tomorrow on 24th of April...will be my 8th anniversary mashAllah..and I'm still on the rollercoaster of treatments...
Everyone is facing different issues..we can just try and pray..
Few pages back there is a sister..zainab...Allah blessed her twins boy and a girl after 7th ivf at the age of mid 30s...mashAllah.
We feel that our pain and our suffering are more than the others but Allah knows best.when i was pregnant first time at the same time my husband's sister and my sister in law(my brother's wife)were pregnant...i lost my pregnancy and mashAllah they both have baby..whenever i see them i feel a sharp pinch on my heart...
Tests are a way to purify us. The Prophet ﷺ said, No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that,"

Rania..u said u do pray alot..so dear just keep one thing in your mind that Allah listens to everyone..whenever we make dua..it come back in 3 ways...according to hadith.

1. Allah will answer it
2. He will ward off an evil thing from coming to you
3. He will answer it on yawmul qiyaamah and then you will wish none of your du'a in this world were answered.

U said u go to perform umrah mashAllah...may be this is the compansation of Ur pain?
I know now a days u r in stressed its natural....its easy to say that relax but dear u have to...think about Ur blessing..
Our Prophet(saw)'s beloved wife hazrat Ayesha may Allah be please with her..she doesn't have kids...she was also a women..

Allah loves us more than 70 mothers..subhanAllah.
InshAllah our time will come.if u wanna cry...so do cry in sajood and ask for Allah's forgiveness.

"And of the people is he who worships Allah on an edge. If he is touched by good, he is reassured by it; but if he is struck by trial, he turns on his face [to the other direction]. He has lost [this] world and the Hereafter. That is what is the manifest loss." [Qur'an, 22:11]

The Prophet ﷺ said, when Allah loves a servant, He tests him," [Tirmidhi].

In a hadith qudsi (a hadith relating the words of Allah [swt]), Allah (swt) tells Jibreel to delay the response to the du`a' of a servant because Allah (swt) loves hearing his voice [Tabarani]. 
Sometimes the answer to a test is that need for Allah (swt), those long hours spent in the night, and the tears of sincerity.

May Allah (swt) make us of those who constantly turn to Him, in hardship and ease.

Be strong my dear.inshAllah Allan will bless us all with healthy and pious kids.try to do istaghfar as much as u can..
And do remember me also in Ur duas..i also really really need of ur prayers.you will be in my prayers too.
May Allah bless u without any treatment..and i know He can do this anytime...inshAllah.
Take very good care of ur self...take a good break but dont give up...hope should be always there. 

Love you..just for the sake of Allah.
Sadya.


----------



## zest42day

Rania  

I'm so so sorry to hear everything you have been through.  I can only echo Sadyas words. This journey to motherhood is such a difficult one.  Whenever I pray, I ask Allah to fulfill my desires, but that if that is not the best thing for me, or the path for me at tis time, then I pray 'Ya Allah, please make me stronger' so that I can face all your trials and not question your plan for me.

What helps me is listening to other people's stories and knowing that there will always be so eone out there that has more struggles than me, and then I am just grateful for all the blessings in my life.  You clearly love your husband and are very close.  Tha is such a huge blessing.  Many people don't have that.  We have to look at the little things in life and take strength from that.

You don't like socialising anymore, but do you work? perhaps that would take your mind off things, although it always there in the back of your mind.  I think you need to give your body a rest for a few months.  Try to enjoy your time with your husband and then discuss your next steps.

I pray Allah swt fulfills your dreams.  Inshallah you will be a mum to a beautiful baby, who will be all the more precious after your struggle of getting there.


----------



## Rania82

Thank you ladies for your kind words.

I know the grass is not always greener on the other side and we should say ALhamduillah for what we have and Inshallah for what we want.

As Humans its very hard to be so optimistic. You hear muslim girls leaving babies at mosque doors, you hear about mothers beating up their children to death, you see women with 5 6 kids at the supermarket and they all look neglected and just need some LOVE. Thats when i get lost in deep thoughts and think going through IVF is this not showing Allah that we are going to be amazing parents? than i think was it because i was rude to my mom as a teenager? was it because i shouted at a little boy in the cinemas who was kicking my chair? was it because i told my friends child not to jump on my white sofa? Did i do or say something wrong that does not make me worthy as being a mom?? i am bursting with so much love and care to give my baby yet nothing at all.

I work at a school but i am off now till i can get myself sorted i tried working 3 days since the failed cycle and I am struggling so Inshallah when im myself i will return. In regards to socialising i mean dinners, lunches seeing friends or even bringing them to my home. I use to love getting dressed up and dolled up and having a laugh with my friends. I find it a struggle to put a little mascara on, i just dont have the strength to do much. i am praying that i get a doctors view on what we do next and what he thinks went wrong? i am a planner and i love to know what to do next.

Out of curiosity do your families know you are going through IVF? I am scared in case someone may say 'get the hint from ALLAH your not fit to be parents' or the word adoption gets thrown around so easily? i have done a little reading and it seems so intense and so many questions!   my husband is such a private man and last thing he wants is us sitting there with a stranger trying to sell to them we will make good parents! looking at our home and our income, our childhood experiences past relationships, i mean come on!! if some one has had a few failed IVFS get the hint that we want a baby let us sign the papers and move forward! it can take up to 5 years in some places!  

When I am down and confused i do look into adoption in Pakistan and again you have to stay there for 3 months and they monitor you how you feed and change the baby! i certainly do not want no old pakistani women telling me I am holding the baby wrong or i put too much powder on the bottom! she can get lost!! We have been through so much hell and i dont want no busy body telling me or scrutinising  my every move. I will probably be out there alone far away from my husband i do not speak a word of urdu or punjabi, it will be very very hard, than at the end of it they can still deny you a baby!? who ever said its easier to adopt in Pakistan is wrong it sounds very complicated. I know mentally i will just probably ruin my chances right now as I am a ticking bomb and everyone and everything gets me into a mess! I want to be a mom so so badly but i will not be extra nice or sweet to people to get there.. normal women do not get questions have practical tests in being a mom one learns as you go along, i just cant justify any of it.

What ever happens in the next few weeks or months i pray ALLAH helps us out a little. Living a childless life is not an option for me and never will be. I love children way too much and tooooo much love to give. Inshallah it happens sooner rather than later


----------



## Wraakgodin

I am not a Muslim, just the moderator on this section, but I couldn't read without giving Rania a huge cyberhug, your post touched a nerve with me because I have been through a lot of the thoughts that you have had.  It is hard to find a meaning or see the bigger picture when you hear about children abused, neglected, or worse.  I wish I knew what the answer was.  

Good luck on your journey.  I hope however it happens, you will eventually become a mother.  

Sue


----------



## diya80

Hi ladies,
Do u guys use coq10? Before the treatment or during the treatment..??
Is there any side effects?is it good for weight loss too?
Sadya.


----------



## Rania82

Thank you sue xx Its been a long and tough journey, and the road seems still very long ahead of me. God willing my blessing well come very soon. i can see in your siggy that your A Mom xx God bless and a huge congratulations! I pray i get to have a BFP in my siggy very soon IA  

Sadya- I have used COQ10 for a while and i stop it on the day of egg collection same with my Royal jelly. Than I have been taking Vit B6 and prenatal for like years, With this combination Alhamduillah my hormones have been at its best. 

In regards to weight loss I am sorry to say that there is just no "magic pill' out there, Cut out the junk and move your body thats the only solution. There can be many shortcuts in life but with losing and maintaining weight there just isnt. Try the Green phased diet for one whole week NO carbs just lots of salads and veggies with a piece of protein chicken and fish. Also unlimited soups (avoid the creamy ones) than slowly add some carbs back into your diet. AVOID crisps choclates sweets fizzy drinks cakes greasy asian sweets, fried spring rolls samosas etc etc just look at it and think "do i want that in my body?" stick a picture on your fridge of someones figure that you will die for and you see it every day to motivate you.

I have helped many friends to lose weight and honestly when they tell me what they eat and wonder why there not a size 8-10?? I mean come on guys it is  your body! InshAllah will be with you for the rest of your lives. It is just lack of education we see our elders in there 50s and 60s and with all their health issues can make anyone cry   as they eat anything they want and whats their response 'Allah knows my kismet bitta I will die when its written'   , I have seen with my own eyes women eating a full cake to themselves eating a full packet of biscuit! Than we see none muslims in their 70s and 80s MA that are running around like spring chickens! Why? its because they are aware of what they eat! they read packages they ask whats in it They go for walks in wind rain and snow! etc etc INSHALLAH when i soon become a mom my baby will only eat fresh foods.

You mentioned you live in Dubai the culture is crazy in the middle east! restaurants do not start getting full till after 9pm, every social gathering is around food, the weather is too hot to even do a 5min walk BUT one has to be proactive Join the gym? just blast some music and dance till your hearts content, go swimming (which is my favourite way to stay fit) Pills, juices will not work. We have to move and shake out what we ate.

I am lucky as i hate all kinds of sweets chocolates and cakes! even on my birthday i blow out the candle and thats it i just cant seem to stomach it!make your own lolly ices blend lots of berries, blend a mango and freeze it! its just LUSH if its a sweet treat your after. Freeze grapes and suck on them during the day! try not too eat past 7Pm if you have to give your body 4 hours to digest before you sleep. Use steps instead of lifts, small things lead to great results!

Good luck hun! you can lose weight and you will! x


----------



## zest42day

Hi agian wraakgodin! hope you are doing well.

Thats lots of good advice rania.  i hope you get through this period of struggles in your life and are blessed with a beautiful baby inshallah.


----------



## diya80

Salam.
how r u all?now a days i am in England..really enjoying rain and cold weather..although i know  you guys missing sunny days.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sadya, hope you are having a nice time in London, the weather is not too bad at the moment thankfully. hopefully see more sunny days


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam all
Hope ur all well
Thank fully Sadya looks like the sun has followed u to the uk! 
Hope ur holiday is goin great!
Rania may Allah keep u strong and bless u wid a child! Life is not easy! Wen I went thru ivf only my siblings knew and my parents knew! No one has the right to tell u to get the hint! Dnt giv up! Next time will b ur turn! I kno ders nothing I or anyone can say to help but u r in our prayers as all of us hav been thru this pain! 
Allah knows best! 
Sophie and zest hope u both r gud

Lots of love
Take care
Xx


----------



## zest42day

ladies, Salaams to all,

I hope everyone is ok.  I have my OTD next Friday 10th.  Please make dua for me.  thinking of you all in your journeys.

Shahshah, last I heard , you had a BFP.  congratulations and hope it is all going well?


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum all.
I hope you are all well inshaAllah.
Zest42day..I hope you get the long awaited BFP you have been waiting for.
Postive4ever..how are you and thr like one...he must be changing everyday
Sadya- hope you are doing well and enjoying your holiday..

I hope everyone else doing well and have a lovely long weekend xx


----------



## zest42day

thanks Sophie.  hope you are well.


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum,
How r u all my lovely girls....?
Came back from holidays.had a great time i  london and scotland mashAllah....Allah made this earth sooo beautiful.....so how much the heaven would be...inshAllah
Girls..i need a suggestion...i was thinking to start my treatment this month...but weight is still there...should i delay one more month and try to lose some weight?or should i give a try......?really really worried and confuse...my weight is 66kg last time when i did ivf weight was 62kg......
Need ur tips and suggestions and more than that ur prayers....please do pray for me......
Zest inshAllah u will get positive result..just be strong.
Sadya.


----------



## zest42day

Salaams Sadya,

GOod to hear you are considering treatment again.  generally if your BMI is below 30 then you should be ok, although having your body at its healthiest is definitely a good plan.  if you feel you need to lose the weight, then maybe you could also use the extra month to get your body ready in other ways, supplements etc.  Having said that, I know he hard it is to wait when you just want to get going , so to be honest, I don't know what I would do!  that probably wasn't much help, but good luck!

Thanks for your message.  Af arrived today in pretty much full flow, so not feeling too positive about result on Friday.  planning to do an early test tomorrow.  please please pray that it an still turn into a positive.  my dh was really upset when I told him, so now I'm trying to convince him that it can still be a positive!

Hope envy one else is doing well.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum all,

zest42day  - I am sorry to hear about the bleeding, some women do have bleeding and are still pregnant. 
Sadya - like zest42day  it does depend on your BMI, in the UK it has to be under 30.  Your Dr would tell if you were too overweight for treatment.  Are you looking to do the treatment before ramandhan, if so that I would suggest seriously controlling your diet and exercise as much as possible and monitoring your food intake.  I dont think diet pills etc are a good idea. 
Hope everyone else is doing ok, im not sure if anyone is doing any treatment at the moment?? All the best if you are!


----------



## diya80

Well...my bmi is 26  should be 24.9..inshAllah..please do pray for me...


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam ladies
Sadya ur bmi is fine! I personally dnt think it matters in the end! Main thing is try to b relaxed! During my treatment I did no diet and no exercise as diet makes me stressed!  
If u watch wot u eat and eat a balanced diet it is gud for u but u Shud not stress ova it! If u think u r ready for it u Shud go for it! InshAllah u will get a bfp resulting in a healthy baby IA!  

zest sorry to hear about ur bleed hope everything is ok wid u and u get a bfp IA! U r in my duas!  

Sophie hope u r gud! 

Hope everybody else is gud
Lots of luv
Take care
Xxx


----------



## diya80

JizakAllah khair zainab....just need lots of prayers..doing istikhara...now it will happen when it should be..inshAllah...


----------



## zest42day

*salaam ladies,

**sadya* I agree with positive4eva, BMI of 26 doesn't sound too bad. it's only just into the overweight range, I wouldn't worry too much. just try to eat healthy and relax.

*afm* Sadly it wasn't meant to be. Got my confirmed BFN this morning. I'm feeling ok now as I had been expecting it. Alhumdullilah, we have much to be grateful for and I'm starting to looking forward to using our frosties in a few months time.

hope everyone is doing ok.


----------



## Strings

Assalam o Alaikum dear sisters,

This is my second post in this thread.....I was completely out of touch with this forum for sum time cuz I went to my home country,busy with family n after that Alhamdulillah we have come back after performing umrah.

I read few previous posts....best of luck n lots of duas for all of u.

zest..mashAllah you are so strong at heart....may Allah bless u with healthy pious kids...inshaAllah.   

Sadia,I think your BMI is fine as long as you are eating right n are relaxed(sorry,thats already being suggested,I agree) .best wishes n duas for you.

well,I don't know why but for the last few months I don't wanna think about the treatment.just trying to lose weight ,eating healthy n praying n hoping.


----------



## zest42day

ws strings.  good to hear from you again.  thank you for your msg.  we just have to be thankful for everything Allah swt has bestowed upon us.  I pray the same for you and hope that you are doing well.  I pray that one day you prayers are answered.

oh, and I love asking this question- can I ask how you came up with your username? I have visions of 'strings' of our heart being pulled by the quest for motherhood, quite fitting!


----------



## Strings

JazakAllah zest.may Allah bless all of us soon inshAllah.

Ahh,n about this username....you have guessed almost right. Actually I think that after being through this infertility journey......strings of my soul are pulled towards Allah more than ever before.n I know u all will agree that we have spent so much time in praying n asking forgiveness from Allah....this has led us to believe more in Allah n that we must be thankful to Allah no matter what we get.

May Allah bless us.


----------



## diya80

Strings...welcome back..umrah mubarik...plz do pray for me...
Zest for the past few days i was thinking to send u a pm...for now...lots of   and prayers.i know u r a brave girl 

Thanx everyone..u all are my lovely friends.


----------



## zest42day

thanks Sadya.  that made me smile . hope you are doing well.  let us know what you decide about treatment.

strings, wow, your explanation is even deeper.  so true.


----------



## diya80

Asalamualikum..how r u my lovely ladies....
What do u eat while preparing for the treatment?im so much nervous this time even much more as compare to my first ivf....i dint know why... 

Just praying and praying alot....and u too all plz pray for me.


----------



## amina001

Hi ladies so glad I'm back on tis forum after a long time  
We finally decided to go ahead with ivf, but got told my dh has problems too, so going for icsi instead, its been a week since ive been taking gonal f. Really nervous and scared.  so any sort of advice and reassures will b good


----------



## zest42day

Salaam ladies,

Sadia, I would just try to eat a healthy balanced diet.  I was also taking pregnacare for extra vitamins, folic acid etc.  when do you start?

Amina, welcome.  good luck with your treatment, pretty close to egg collection then?  time to be excited, no need to worry.  wishing you lots of luck and making dua that all goes well.  have you been through IVF before?

oh, just read your profile.  so lovely that you have a child.  don't worry too much.  I found this time quite exciting leading up to the egg collection, wondering how many eggs would be collected etc.  you will have some form of sedation, so won't feel anything, so really there is nothing to worry about.


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam ladies
Hope ur all well

Sadia gud luck sweety! Agree wid zest make sure to take pregnacare! IA all will go well! Praying u get ur much awaited child!   

Amina gud luck wid ur treatment! It's not as scary as it looks! IA it will b successful for u and hard work pays off IA! Xx 

Zest it's really sweet of u to b on here helping sisters thru dis tough tym! May Allah reward u! Allah bless u wid a healthy child IA! sorry ur treatment wasn't successful but IA Allah has better planned and ur patience will b rewarded! X

Sophie hope ur gud

Afm time is goin soo fast! Ayaan will b 1 soon IA! He's nine months and already walkin MA! I'm thinking Shud I try for another baby but jus dnt want the pressure! We struggled 12 years of our life! Dnt kno if I can do it again! But I dnt want Ayaan to b lonely! Allah knows best! 

I really do dua may Allah bless all the ladies who r trying for a baby as we kno how hard it is! Only thing dat keeps us going is patience is rewarded! Xxxx

Take care 
Xxxx


----------



## amina001

Thanks ladies plz carry on praying for me, i had my egg collection today, they manage to retrieve 10 eggs going to fine out tomorrow if they fertilized or not, positive4ever my lil boys name is ayaan too


----------



## amina001

Hi zest4u thx for ur duas no tis is my first time and last time dont think we can afford another one if tis isnt successful


----------



## zest42day

Amina, wow 10 eggs.  that's great.   that they all fertilise and then you can have some frosties too for the future!  will have a look tomorrow to see what happens.  Maybe you should consider joining the may/June thread, you will find a lot more support on there, which you might need, especially as you (inshallah) go into your two week wait after embryo transfer.  

positive4eva, aw thanks.  we are all in the same boat really, looking to each other for support.  Glad to hear your little boy is well.  As for trying again, if you don't feel ready now, you could always wait a little while as you are not that old and then you may not feel so stressed as your baby will be a bit older. but definitely give it a another go if you can! a little playmate for Ayaan


----------



## amina001

Got the call! Out of the 10, they injected 8, but only 4 fertilised. Is that good? They going to ring me again tomorrow and let me know the grade and how they doin.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum amina.
masha'Allah four is a very good number, usually the clinic has there own rating system on how got the embies are, maybe you can ask them what it is and what your four are.
Im not sure how many they will let you put back in but you may have 3 you can freeze which is very good too.
Insha'Allah all will be okay


----------



## mimi13

Salaam Ladies,

I'm new to this forum. Am about to begin my 2nd attempt at ICSI, here's hoping this is the one!
Just thought I'd introduce myself - hope you're all well.

Amina -   it all goes well for you.


----------



## amina001

Welcome mimi13, thx keep me in ur prays! And thx sophie,  They going to put 2 back in, cuz im over 35.


----------



## zest42day

Amina, that's great.  two embies inside you and two you can freeze.   it works out for you.

Miami, welcome and good luck with your 2nd cycle.


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam ladies 
Amina I had 10 eggs collected and 4 fertilised too! One of which is MA my ayaan!   u can giv ur ayaan playmates very soon! IA all will go well and u will get gud news soon! 

Zest thanx for the advice!   All is in Allah's hand! Dnt want to think of another go at ivf jus yet! 

Miami welcome! Hope u get a bfp very soon resulting in a healthy baby IA! 

Lots of luv 
X


----------



## amina001

Thank you positive4eve! They rang me today and told me the embryos r doing well. Might have the transfer tomorrow, but they will ring me tomorrow morning to confirm that. So excited hope everything goes well, plz keep me in ur duaas


----------



## diya80

Best of luck amina...i will pray for u...inshAllah everything will be soo smooth and easy and inshAllah successful.


----------



## zest42day

Sorry *mimi*, autocorrect changed your name to Miami!

*Amina*, good luck with egg transfer. hope it all goes well. And in case you are worried, egg transfer is nothing compared to egg collection. most people are quite comfortable and don't feel much pain.

*positiv4eva*, only you will know when and if you will be ready.

*Sadya*, when r you starting?

*Sophie*, hope you are doing well


----------



## diya80

Asalamualikum,
Zest i will start soon inshAllah...need lots of duas...
Sadya.


----------



## amina001

Salaam ladies back from my egg transfer, i  had four embryos one with 12 cells and one with 8 cells, they transfered these two,  
But they said the other two werent good enough for freezing! Really sad about that, but even if we get one baby from this it will complete our family so plz make lots of dua for me thx to u all for making dua for me and ur advice


----------



## diya80

Amina you are already in my dua.u too pray in sajood .try to give sadqa and offer tahajud.Allah will bless u and will bless us all inshAllah.   
Sadya.


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum amins..good news of the 2 good embryos ... InshaAllah both will stick and complete your family. 
All the best xxxx


----------



## amina001

Thank you ladies, i have gave sadaka, hoping to give more when inshallah i have my baby in my arms, I'm always doing duaa for every ladies who desires to come a mother! I know 2 are good, but its tis wait thats really getting me depressed! Dont u think its a good idea if i ask my doctor if i can go on baby aspirin, heard that can pervent miscarriages


----------



## positive4eva

Amina usually after et dey giv u progesterone pessaries to use in 2ww! R u using dem? I've heard dey are also used to prevent miscarriages! If u feel u Shud ders no harm in talking to ur doc about it! IA All go well for u! X


----------



## zest42day

Amina, I don't know too much about it, but as positive said, I'm sure here is no harm in discussing with your doctor if you are concerned.

the ladies that were interested in weight loss, we have started a 'weekly weigh in' over in weight management if it would help anyone.    

it was interesting reding about the 5:2 diet, where you eat a normally for 5 days and 'fast' for two days, e.g monday and thursday.  As my dh just reminded, this was also a practice our prophet (pbuh), who used to fast every Monday and Thursday  but not on the remaining days, so there must be good in it.


----------



## diya80

Im interested zest.....really wanna lose 6lbs...   in 2 weeks 

amina my dr gave me asprine when we did iui..but after ivf they gave progesterone.even after ec...and i took 2months during my first pregnancy...it really helps.i do pray for u after every namaz..inshAllah Allah will bless u..

Fasting on mon and thr...its really great...but here in dubai..its really hot..and during fast i ve to face very bad headache..but will try inshAllah.


----------



## zest42day

Sadya, the 5:2 diet doesn't require you to fast as we do, just to restrict your calories to 500 a day.

if you would like me to add you, go to the thread in weight management called 'clunky chicks weekly weigh in'

wishing you all the best


----------



## amina001

Thank you ladies! Yeh i am on  progesterone tablets, but i need to get my bfp first, i think thats i great idea ill love to join once inshallah ive had a baby, ive gain quite a bit of weight cuz of the gonal f injection., just pray for me thx


----------



## amina001

One more question ladies, how long did u wait after ur et before u did ur pregnancy test?


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum amina.hope u are doing ok Insha'Allah, I wouldn't recommend testing yet as it too early. Try and until your official test date for a more accurate reading. You're body still has different drugs that may affect the testy


----------



## amina001

i know! Just finding these 2 weeks really hard, trying to think positive but my mind keeps on going onto the negative things. I think I'm just gonna crazy by next Tuesday


----------



## Guest

I know how hard it is, my first advice would be to take off fertility web sites, you end up looking at other peoples signs and try and guess if you are pregnant or not. I dont know if you work, if not, spend time reading books that you havent, read more quran, make plenty of dua, go for walks just to clear youre head of negativity. I think the more you think about it and research it, the more negative you feel...

Insha'Allah all will be ok...you are all in my duas


----------



## zest42day

Amina, I agree with Sophie, try to focus on other things.  When I was on my 2ww, I tried to plan things to do with family and friends to take my mind off the wait.  It still felt like sooo long though!  Once I got past the half way mark, it got easier for me, so maybe it will be for you too.  the wait is tough, but worth it if you get a BFP at the end of it.

Hope everyone is ok


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

It has been a long while since I logged on here.

Alhamdililah, I'm divorced from my first husband and re-married with 6 step-children. I have also made hijrah.

Masha Allah - there is such a difference in my life. Alhamdililah I am so happy with my husband of 7 months. We had what looked like a BFP on a HP test but a few hours later my period began. I'm 45 now and taking Clomid.

Alhamdililah Allah blessed me with beautiful step-children who I love as if I had given birth to them. I feel Allah has answered every du'a I made in my life - he has given me everything I wanted. So what am I doing back here?

I miss having a safe place to talk about things. I miss having MUSLIMS to talk to.

I found my husband crying after that false BFP and I have started to think about trying again.  I suppose I never really stopped because the month I got married I went back on the Clomid with my current husband's encouragement. 

When I logged on and saw Isobel Snow Drop - I was delighted to see an old friend- but then I read your signature Isobel and my heart goes out to you.

At the moment I am in bed with the most painful infection I've ever had in my life. I was with the doctor last week and am due back tonight. I am afraid if I do a pregnancy test now that the results can not be relied upon. I've also seen some very depressing statistics related to my age and infertility.  Seemingly I have some kind of a fungal infection. Not Candida - something else but I was scared it was Herpes that I might have gotten from my new husband because his previous wives had more than just one sexual partner (of course in Islam that should be their husband). I am on cycle day 31. I normally have a 35 day cycle and the 3 weeks wait is hard to deal with. Also last month my period came after only 21 days. So it looks like my hormones are playing up - only to be expected at my age.

One of the reasons I had given up trying is that the Consultant told me that at my age there was only a 20% probability of assisted conception which is the same statistic as for my age in general. The other was the ending of my difficult marriage.

So for anyone else who is still hoping that like Ibrahim we may all be granted children - you too are not alone. One thing that gives me hope is that Khadija (ra) had 5 (?) children - and she was in her 40's when she married Rasoolulah. I don't feel the same desperation I felt before I disappeared because now I have my step children and alhamdilialh, masha Allah a good marriage.

I will be changing my signature ASAP. Looking foward to reading the back up of posts and catching up with old friends and meeting new ones.
Sister C


----------



## diya80

Sister C 
Nice to see u again...sister baby maryam was asking about..
Its really good that u are mashAllah happy and trying again.may Allah bless u.where are u right now...
Plz be in touch.i will pray for you.
Sadya


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam all

Sisterc welcome back! I'm so happy for u that u found happiness and managed to break free from ur troubled marriage! I read a lot of ur post back sumtym ago and really hoped u cud hav it easy! May Allah reward u for all ur struggles! 

Amina 2 ww is a killer plz jus do sabr! Hoping tym flies for u and u get ur bfp!

Hope every1 is gud

Take care
X


----------



## amina001

Salaam u lovely ladies! Thank you ladies for ur encouragement! I 
I am trying! I'm on school holidays at the moment, so back to work on Monday. U know me wanting another child seems nothing compared to what some of u ladies have been through! My heart goes out to all of u! May allah bless u all with a child! And sisterc don't worry age is just a number! I remember once my mum told me that my dadi had one of her daughters at the age of 45, so if they could have kids at that age then, then what's the difference now! Never lose hope inshallah one day it will come true!


----------



## zest42day

Ws sisterC, sorry to hear of all your troubles, but glad that you are in a happy marriage with beautiful kids.  I wish you all the best and pray you get your longed for BFP.

Amina, like you, I feel very blessed with my life when I look around and see how much other ladies have gone throu.  Alhumdullilah for everything we have.  hope your 2ww is going well.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters


Still on my 3ww - If I base this cycle on my longest cycle of 37 days then I should not test until next Wednesday. Today is only day 33 but I've been feeling nauseous for the last 3 days but not today.


I don't know WHY I am back here. I have my step children. I've got very frightened now - thinking about how even if I do manage to conceive that I won't be able to carry a baby full term. I'm scared of Diabetes, miscarraige etc. Shaytain is busy with his Wis Was! I know everything has been  ordained by  Allah.




I wanted to ask  what is a "missed miscarraige"?


----------



## amina001

A missed miscarriage is when u don't bleed! I only found out my baby didn't have a heart beat, when they did the 12 weeks scan. They can see the baby but no heart beat, they said the baby had stop growing at 7 weeks. It's a really sad moment in someone's life not knowing that ur baby has left u for weeks.


----------



## amina001

Hi ladies! I've just seen sum blood! My periods were suppose to start tomorrow, so does that mean icsi hasn't worked for us?


----------



## Guest

As salam alaykum Amina . pls wait and until test..some women do have some implantation bleeding.  I guess you knwk you're body best..stay calm until u know for certain


----------



## amina001

Thx Sophie82 it's def my periods! Today was the date they were suppose to start! I remember them being late once with clomid! But even the ivf drugs didn't delay them tis time! Been crying all day cuz we can't afford another ivf! My lil boys been abit upset today, like he knows what's going on! He's always wanted a sibling, makes me sad that I can't give him one!


----------



## positive4eva

Amina   dnt giv up IA u never kno u myt concieve naturally! Allah can make anything happen! Plz do not cry and try to b happy for ur sons sake!


----------



## zest42day

Amina, I'm so sorry that you think it's all over, but hang in there until you do your test.  It's really tough when you have your hopes up especially if you feel this will be your last chance.  if it is meant to be, then money will not be an obstacle, somehow, it will be possible, maybe even naturally.  we just have to have faith in God.  be strong.



SisterC, praying you get a BFP to make your dreams come true, or rather make your dreams complete as you already dote on your step kids.


----------



## SisterC

Thanks Zest.
Amina - whatever Allah decees to be will be - He is the Best of PLanners.
I am too old to adopt - and my ex would not hear of it, and we couldn't afford assisted reproduction. I couldn't foster as I have Bipolar and OCD and you have to be off the meds for 2 years before they will even consider you.

Never in my wildest dreams did I even hope that I might be blessed with a new husband who is my Prince Charming, a beautiful home and no less than 6 lovely kids.

I spoke with Dh about Shaytains WisWas and the doubts and fears I am having and his answer was simple - just leave it all up to Allah - He knows Best - Simple but we need to remember the bottom line and I needed to be reminded - Verily the reminder benefits the believer. We are only on this earth to Worship Allah - and life in the Dunya is just one of the 4 stages of life which will be over in a flash.

Please remind me when I start worrying to Firstly - Do whatever I do for the sake of Allah and Secondly - never forget I am here to worship Allah - and that means establishing the prayer, fasting, zakat, Hajj, after Tawheed. If I could remember this constantly and act on it I'd be a far better muslim.

Insha Allah you all are finding it OK today. Anything is possible with Allah - look at Isa and Adam - no fathers either of them - and Adam had no mother either. Whenever He decrees a thing He says "BE" and it IS.


----------



## amina001

Thank you ladies!


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

CD35 - normal enough for me. Have been known to go do CD37. Should I wait to test? If I become pregnant I have to make changes in my meds to protect the baby.


----------



## baby maryam

As- salamo alaykum sisters,
I can see some new names- welcome every1. 

Sister C, I have been asking about you, I am so glad to hear your good news and read about your new marriage and 6 children, mashallah, tabaraqAllah... so glad, so happy for you!
And congrats on losing so much weight, mashallah... 
I know you haven't been on for a while- my news is that we have adopted a little girl, she is alhamdulillah 8 mts old now. She is his sister;s daughter- and she offered her to us while she was still in the tummy, so the "adoption" was easy- just have to make papers that we are her legal guardians. 

I wish happiness and success to everyone. Salams.


----------



## amina001

What is cd35?


----------



## SisterC

Salams sisters

Maryam - that is wonderful about the adoption! Mabrook! I must say that my step-kids feel like my own. I love them as if I had given birth to them. I find myself acting like my mother! I finished my degree too. Contemplating doing a Masters next. Had some study planned for April - Oct but dh prefers I am not subject to any stress at all. Since I married dh  I have not had single outbreak of ecezma on my face - in my last marriage right from one month after the Nikkah I regularly had ecezma attacks - all induced by stress - and my ex was a major contributor to that stress. Alhamdililah we parted amicably in the end - but 11 years "wasted" regarding having my own baby. Once I re-married and got my step-kids my biological clock calmed down. There is a lot of adoption in my family. I have and adopted sister and a natural sister and an adopted brother and 2 natural brothers - the only time when there is any distinction made between them is when it comes to Mahram - non-mahram issues e.g. wearing hijab in front of my brother and his sons. I had looked into adoption - my ex refused to consider it. I looked into fostering - but my medical situation rules that out. Then subhan Allah - out of the blue I have made hijrah, met and married my soul-mate and gained 6 kids all at once. Masha Allah - so I get to enjoy different stages of parenting as if I had conceived when I first prayed to 20-odd years ago. The kids age from 23 down to 4. 3 boys and 3 girls. I changed my kunya to Um Adam when I got divorced and when I think about it - Adam (ra) had no father or mother - Allah made him already complete - and that's how I feel about my family - Allah made the family already formed into shapes and sizes and personalities and he gave the 6 of them to me ready made - just like Adam.

Amina - CD35 means Cycle Day 35 with CD1 being the day Aunt Flo last arrived. So for me today is CD36. I have an unreliable cycle, am 45 and am taking Clomid. I'm hoping I'm pregnant and terrified I might be too - It's a long time since I started on this TTC road.

When I first came on here - 5 or more years ago I wanted a baby desperately. So desperately that I put up with any crap to keep my ex - "my sperm donor". I couldn't be logical and rational - I didn't want a divorce because I didn't want to miss out on 3 months of ttc during my iddah and then during the time it would take to find a new husband. Having a baby was more important than anything. Any pain, any blood tests, all the scans and the heartbreak every month when I would mourn the loss of an egg as if I had lost my baby. Recently I've realized that while that time was passing my hair was getting greyer and my eggs were getting older. It's 4 years now since I was told IVF was my only solution. But alhamdilialh I am GLAD I did not have a baby with ex dh now. I knew my marriage was difficult and to a certain extent abusive but I never realized just how bad it was until I married my current dh masha Allaah.

And now, when we are not trying desperately, hope has crept back in. Dh has been putting off buying me a HPT 'cos he was so upset the time we got a false positive which I am sure was an invalid test - but we both wanted it so much - there were 2 lines and it was the first time I ever got 2 lines. The longest my cycle has been is 37 days. Today is CD36 - I tried to take a urine sample this morning to test when dh gets the HPT but I haven't been able to pee at all. I've been back on babycentre.com following where I MIGHT be. Hoping...thinking "if I am pregnant, the baby is now the size of a sesame seed". Then worrying about the lining of my womb being too thin due to the Clomid. Worrying about the effects my age, my meds etc would have on a baby. Considering Down's Syndrome and how wonderful it would be to have a baby who is a "duine le Dia" (a person/child of God - in terms of never being capable of committing a sin - and going straight to paradise). It would be difficult but a blessing I would gladly accept.

To have our own baby would be the icing on the cake! So I have now made it through my 3ww. Since I'm living in Africa now the only tests I can get are the ones where you collect a sample of morning urine and put 3 drops into the well on the test. No peeing on sticks here. (Actually no TAMPONS here either). 

I've been in bed for over a week now with a serious fungal infection - it is extremely painful but could be a blessing in disguise. Sorry for rambling on...Insha Allah I'll get back to you when I've done a test.

May Allah make everything easy for all of us, Amin.


----------



## baby maryam

We are on the same continent sister C... I am in Tripoli, Libya   

I must say, you sound and write so different from before, your happiness and your well-being radiate from your posts. I am so happy for you... keep being positive and things will happen inshallah. 


Good luck to everyone undergoing treatment, tests or whichever form of TTC. It is a true roller-coaster... We have the 4 frosties- which we have decided to keep frozen until late fall or even winter time.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Yes Baby Maryam - I am so happy alhamdililah. Masha Allah my new dh loves and accepts me just the way I am masha Allah. He never criticizes and I'm learning to get used to NOT being shouted at. Subhan Allah - I don't know how or why but even my MIL approves of me. She reckons I'm the first proper wife dh has ever had! Masha Allah I love the kids and they love me. We're like a real family - the first dh and the kids have ever had. He's been a single father for years or working abroad away from the wife and kids. It's very complicated but he is 51 and he never had a girlfriend which means I have more than one ex-wife to contend with. Life has gone from being just me and the cats to me and him and the kids and all their mothers! We are NOT in a polygamous marriage. 

When I got married my family all wanted to know what had happened to dh's wife and why was it he has custody of the kids etc etc. I still haven't given them the full details because they are looking things from a non-muslim Irish Catholic point  of view. One sister knows dh has been divorced twice and she says it is a disgrace - so I'm not giving them any information about dh and the kids. The rest of my family are happy so long as I am happy. Alhamdililah.

I finally got to collect a urine sample a few hours ago. Now I'm just waiting for the heat to die down so dh can go and buy a HPT. It's agony not knowing. Make du'a for me please.
SisterC


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum.
sisterc - i hope everything goes ok with the test, just remember if its is not the result you are hoping for Allah (swt) is the best of Planners and there may be something better yet to come insha'Allah. I hope you are feeling better from your infection

Baby Maryam - its nice to hear things are going well with you and your little one.

Amina - how are you sister? I know your otd is tomorrow, did you test yet?

sisters pls can you keep in your duas, i am back in hospital for an op on Friday. Its just a minor one, but the results will effect if I can do IVF again.

I hope everyone else is well


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Sophie I wish you all the best of whatever Allah has decreed for you. As for me - dh has just gone to the village. I haven't pee-ed again since this morning and don't know whether to dump the sample I have and collect another one for later when dh gets back with the hpt.

Had a comforting bowl of hot sweet cornflakes after lunch. 

Ice pack and natural yoghurt for the fungal infection - it's either that or brufen which is the only pain-killer that is effective with this infection. I don't know the effects of Brufen in pregnancy so I'm scared to take it. Just please make du'a for me - my head is going round in circles - viscious circles....


----------



## amina001

Sister may Allah make all ur wishes come true! 
Hi Sophie! My periods started on Friday! So there's no use going for the blood test! Tis was our first icsi, and I found it really hard! Can't imagine how people feel when they have to go through so many! 
I've just given up now, don't think my lil boy is ever going to have a sibling! 


Congrats to Maryam on your adoption! We tried to foster but we got rejected because I was on depression tablets since my last miscarriage. Had a very bad year so far! 2013 has def been unlucky for us. 

.


----------



## SisterC

Sorry to hear your news Amina. What age are you?

Dh has arrived home with the hpt but it is so long since I took the sample maybe a fresher one would be better? I haven't urinated since morning? don't know what to do for the best. Test now with morning urine. Test now with Fresh Urine. Wait until 2moro morning and test 2moro's urine Decisons decisions decisions.

SisterC


----------



## zest42day

Salaams all,

*sisterC* really happy for you. I pray and look forward to hearing about your result.

*Amina* I hope you are doing ok. I think the first cycle is probably really hard because your expectations are so high. I found I coped much better second time round!

*sophie* inshallah, hope everything goes well with your op.

*baby maryam* hope you are ok.

I have my pre treatment scan for my FET on Friday, so back on the roller coaster again!


----------



## amina001

I'm 37 sisterc. But I've got under active throiyd and one of my tubes is blocked, been trying since 2009, and just got pregnant once, which ended in a miscarriage, but I'm sure the doctor at the hospital said I'm going through early menopause. Something to do with fsh! dont really get what that means! even financially this was our last hope! The only think I can think of is taking clomid that I've got left! Hospital won't give me anymore, but I'm really confused about my tube cuz I don't know which side the egg will release, the month we trying. Plus I think my husband has had enough!


----------



## baby maryam

Amina,
did not want to read and run. 

Our situation is different, my husband wants to keep on trying, but I am the one who had enough. At the end of the day, you have your lovely boy alhamdulillah, and this is more than what most people TTC have. So hopefully- and you never know- maybe you will have another chance at trying IVF/ICSI- but, if you should decide to give up trying, pray to Allah to make you happy with the things you do have and don't grieve over those you do not. 

Miscarriages are tough, I know, I have had my fair share of them (twice). And I do feel for you...


----------



## amina001

I am ever so grateful to Allah, but it breaks my heart when my little boy mentions his cousins and says how come they've got brothers and sisters and I haven't! Just breaks my heart! Plus when u hear about all these people having twins never mind one child, u just think why can't u especially when you've gone out of the way and spent so much money! Don't know if u heard in the news about that women who had her 3rd set of twins at the age of 41! Just makes u think why can't the doctors do anything for us, I remember asking my gyno doc about unblocking my tube because they blocked it in the first place when they did my caesarean, and he just came out with it that we saved ur baby's life! I thought hang on u didnt my Allah did! So I'm quite bitter towards these fertility docs!


----------



## Guest

Amina001 I also have blocked tubes and low egg reserve ..meaning my body has hardly eggs left. The NHS won't operate on blocked tubes because the risks outweigh the benefits and the tubes may get blocked again. I have this fear that I will never be able to conceive and that I will be bitter and childless.. I do feel why not me..but its not in my hands, I've done all I can medically and I don't know how much more of this I take..but Allah has given me the strength to go through this IF for the last 5 years. I'm grateful for certain members of family and my close friends.


----------



## amina001

Mashallah! U've got a lovely family! My grandfather gave his daughter to his sister before she was born and she loves her more than her own mother. She is my khala.  That's really nice of them may Allah bless them! Inshallah same here all I can do is Duaas for u too and it's nice just to talk to each other about what we going through! 2 people in my family went through ive and its been sucessful for them, my husband Didnt want me to tell anyone a out it, so its nice to chat to u ladies! Hopefully whatever the reason we can't have anymore children may Allah help us pass that, I'm sure we'll make great mothers because that's what Allah wants us to b! and up there Allah has got so much to give us and I've always heard Allah wants us to ask for things!


----------



## baby maryam

I feel that whatever is decreed to happen to us- we cannot escape it- and whatever is not decreed to happen- no matter how much we keep thinking why me or why not me- it will not happen.

We just have to make peace with what Allah has given (or taken from) us and go on... 

We have to be thankful for our health, for our loved ones, for the kids (biological, adopted or whatever), and even if there is no kids- we still have our dear husbands- which is a lot more than what some sisters might have.

When at a bad place- always look at those who have less than you. 

Assalamo alaykum.


----------



## amina001

Hi Sophie one thing I don't understand why there are so many ladies on here who have got the tube unblocked?


----------



## Guest

As salam alaykum Amina. I have heard that when some women have laporoscopy and dye test, that helps clear the tubes.  Have you had this procedure?  I know my sister had this after trying for 5 years and the masha'Allah she got pregnant and has had 2 more children since. Me personally, I have had every possible procedure under the sun - HSG twice (didnt work both times), laporoscopy (had ovarian drilling, no liquid went through tubes), 1st hysterscopy - polyps removed, 2nd  hysterscopy clear, 3rd  hysterscopy (to dilate cervix, found abnormal cells in womb) and I will be having my 4th  hysterscopy on Friday insha'Alalh. Like I said there is only so much we can do, be healthy, pray/make dua - everything else is in Allah (SWT) hands.  This journey has lots of ups and downs, the constant feeling of running into walls and planning everything around IVF, appointments etc, this is such a big test, we are all tested differently.  One thing i think we all find difficult is acceptance...
I am sure with time things we will see why it wasnt meant to be, but we have so much else to be greatful for although we might not see yet


----------



## amina001

Hmmm I don't think I've had a laporsocopy, I remember a dye test to see which tube is blocked! I understand what u saying, just because u want something in our life doesn't mean we don't appreciate what we have!!  Plus I always believe when something bad happens in ur life, it's not Allah doing! Also I don't think Allah doesn't help those people who just sit there and feel sorry for themselves! We should take charge and change our life and look at all the possibilities! I know when something happens, people say "oh well this wasn't meant to be" and two years down the line if u do have a child the say the same thing " it was meant to b" so what r we suppose to think! And when people say "this is a sign u weren't meant to have kids, it was upto Allah"so people always blame things on allah! thats its allahs marzi' allah loves his ummah more than 70 mothers, so he cant harm them in anyway! tis is how I think, I think we should all think positive and look for ways out of tis!


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Well I eventually was able to pee and did my hpt this morning. BFN. And would you believe the dominant feeling I had was one of relief?

I had been worried this time about things I never really thought or worried about before - particularly complications etc caused by THC medication. I am being treated for a severe fungal infection - the most painful condition I ever had other than whip-lash which was treated with shots of pethadine. It's going on more than a week and the only things that kill the pain are ibprofen, yougurt and ice. I have steroid and other cream the doc prescribed plus some kind of antiseptic wash but I am starting to go mad - chained to the bedroom for a week or more. 

It's different now - I'm a lot older since I was at the fertility clinic last. I have a new husband and step-kids. My husband can't understand how this can be CD37, no period and a negative pregnancy test. 2 of his earlier wives got pregnant in the first month. We have never discussed IVF. I've told him that I believe that the reason I did not pregnant in my first marriage was down to just not enough BMS plus how long it took to discover that there MIGHT be a problem. I'm taking Clomid - my GP gives it to me but I feel I should go back home and have my tubes and things tested again - as it is many years now since they were last checked. But I can't leave the kids here - they need me.  And so does dh. I was home alone once for a month since we married and he said he was never going to accept such a long parting again.

Amina - I can feel your pain - Mufti Menk advises us when we have no shoes to look at those without FEET and be thankful for what we have. Always there are persons more blessed and less blessed and Allah is the Giver and the Sustainer. He knows what is best for all of us. So Who better to put our trust in? May Allah make it easy for you.


----------



## zest42day

Sister C,

So glad to see you are so positive, but sorry to hear of your bfn.  as you say you have so much going for you in your life now, so hope it gives you the peace and happiness you need and I wish you all the best if you decide to go for further treatment.

Salaams


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters


Am on CD4 now. Had decided I wasn't going to continue with Clomid after this final let down but hubby spoke in the nick of time that he wants us to try for a baby so I should take the Clomid - this was at midnight on CD2 when I am supposed to start the Clomid. Literally in the nick of time. 'cos if he had left it to next day it would have been too late.


So back on the merry go round. Just hoping that the most awful infection I've ever had goes away before CD10 - at the moment I am way too sore for sex. I couldn't even use tampons for most of this period but *TMI alert* alhamdililah there was a lot of blood - so insha Allah I will have a good enough lining of the womb to facilitate implantation should fertilization occur this month.


It made me very happy to have dh say he wants to try for a baby. I really haven't been "Trying" - I've just taken the clomid and alhamdililah never had to worry about bms every 2nd day because alhamdilialh it comes naturally with us not like in my previous marriage where my ex refused to "perform"  especially on days 10 to 20 when I was fertile.


So - I'm happily looking forward to this month. Insha Allah I will also decide this month if I am going to stay on Clomid or not - and make Istikara insha Allah.


May Allah bless us all. Give us Serenity to accept what we can't change, Courage to change what we can and Wisdom - to know the difference. amin


----------



## diya80

asalamualikum all..
sister c why dint u try ivf?clomid is very basic treatment.....


how are u sofi?
good luck zest...praying for both of u...


----------



## amina001

Salaam ladies, how did Sophie operation go?


----------



## Guest

Wa alaykum salaam sorry ladies just been so tired since op. They found another polyp which they have removed and there are still some abnormal cells.  I have to wait about 10 days for results of biopsy.  I have read up about abnormal cells etc and it doesn't sound good.. I'm hoping there's nothing too serious otherwise i think my ivf journey is over.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Salam alaikum sisters,

Just a quick message to Sister C as we've only been back from Iraq a couple of days so I'm still busy with washing and the house work etc.

Sister C. Alhamdulliah that you are in a new marriage, I don't think I'm alone when I say I prayed you would get rid of that loser and parasite that was your ex. Onwards and upwards for you now and if In Sha Allah you do get pregnant well that's fantastic but if not then you have been blessed with a lovely husband and step children. You sound like a completely different person now in your posts and I'm sooooo happy for you. Stay in touch.... Isobel xxxxx


----------



## diya80

praying for u sofia..inshAllah everything will be ok..


----------



## Babydreaming

Salaam girls
It is so nice to see other muslim girls on here! We all know how its so difficult to talk about these things in our culture...or maybe I just find it hard to talk about how difficult this journey is.


Both Myself and Dh 37
TTC 2 years
DH fine ..me low AMH 
Ist IVF Dec 2012 at Coventry-  

2nd cycle  - currently Day 4 of stims....Ya Allah let it be


----------



## amina001

Welcome babydreamer! Yeh it's nice to chat to people when u going through something like ivf! Hope Allah makes your dream come true tis time! 

Hi Sophie
I'm praying for you! Hope everything is ok!


----------



## Babydreaming

Hi ladies
Thank you for your good wishes! I had my 1st day 8 scan today. I have 5 lovely follicles growing and at a good size, I know it's not a lot but its 2 more than my last ivf so alhamdulillah I am grateful for everything.  
Am just going to try and relax and eat well...was all going to plan before my cousin announced her shotgun wedding this Sunday!!! I am going to put a bandage on and pretend I've done my ankle in otherwise ill be running around like a headless chicken!

Hope all is going well for u ladies xxx


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum ladies. Thanks for msgs. Slowly getting better Alhumduillah.
Baby dreaming - wrap your arm in sling lol that would do the job! Good news on the number of eggs. Its all about the quality not quantity, so don't worry to much. Insha'Allah this journey is made easy for you xxx


----------



## Babydreaming

Good idea Sophie I may just do that! Spent a 
a lovely evening with my beautiful nephew
...and then he did a really smelly vomit. 
Ew, there r some perks to being able to give them 
back


----------



## amina001

Hope everything is going well for u Sophie and babydreamer! 
Have u had ur ec yet?


----------



## Guest

As salam alaykum ladies Alhumduillah! Results are back hospital want to see me next week to discuss. I'm very frightened and nervous.. Insha'Allah it will be ok..but I'm such a big worrier!! How's everyone else doing ..is anyone doing treatment apart from baby dreamer..good to hear how things are going with you gals..


----------



## Babydreaming

Salaam ladies
Have done trigger tonight, egg collection 
booked in for Monday morning... Show time!


----------



## amina001

Good luck babydreamer


----------



## zest42day

Sophie, babydreaming, good luck.


----------



## Guest

All the best for tomorrow Babydreamer


----------



## amina001

Hi ladies! I've just ordered sum progestrone cream, when is it the best time to use it and where?


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum all

amina, i think there instructions usually on the pack. but some say on 3 of cycle and to put on stomach?


Well I had my follow appointment on Wednesday, I saw another consultant who was actually quite helpful (apart from the fact she couldnt get the computer working, hubby told her plug was out lol). I got my results from the op, basically the cells in the uterus still have some abnormalities.  The consultant has now referred my case to the gynae onology team, therefore I wont be starting any treatment this year.  I will be having the merina coil put in, this is the best of getting progesterone into the body.  I will also be having a MRI scan to check for any other issues. Barts are currently taking part in a medical study which checks for thyroid antibodies, so I have also given a blood sample for that. At the moment theres not much I can do, I am currently on Provera and will stop once i have the coil put in. I will also try and lose some weight, bmi is 26, average is 24.


----------



## amina001

Thanks sophie! Hope everything works out for u, inshallah everything will b fine! 

Hi babydreamer hope everything went well for u!


----------



## Guest

Thank you amina xx


----------



## Guest

Ramandhan Mubarak All, May you all have a rewarding and sucessful Ramandhan.  Please keep us and the ummah in your duas


----------



## positive4eva

Ramadhan Mubarak! Hope everybody has a great month! Plz remember me in ur prayers!
Xxx


----------



## Babydreaming

Hi Guys
Well it was all a bit of a rollercoater past few weeks. Started spotting 1 week after transfer..was told to stay positive that it could be implantation bleeding...1 week later got a BFP..was so happy and in so much shock! Bleeding gradually got worse over the next week...no one is willing to get anything checked for you..not the GP, not the Early Pregnancy Unit, not my fertility clinic. Was told to wait and see. Finally I went to a private clinic and paid to have my bHCG checked. It was low for the stage of pregnancy I was at. Will need to go again tomorrow to have it rechecked so they can compare. I have stopped the progesterone of my own accord as I am convinced it is delaying the miscarriage from happening totally...just lingering!

Its so heartbreaking...BUT life goes on..we are now in the blessed month of Ramadhan and I just want to get on and look to the future.
I'll always have that brief moment of pure happiness when I saw 2 lines for the first time ever. I just pray to Allah that he guides us and doesnt leave us childless.

Anyway ladies, I hope you all have a wonderful Ramadan and be strong, stay positive and keep trying...for what else is there to do xx


----------



## isobel snow drop

Salams Babydreaming, just didn't want to leave you without a response. I'm so sorry for what you're going through    I've been there too and I understand what it's like. How awful for you to have had to do all the chasing around yourself, I would be so angry   Go easy on yourself and keep in touch. Xx


----------



## Guest

As salaam alay Babydreamer,
So sorry you have gone through this, its such a shame that GPs/clinics leave you on you're own at the vital time. I think there is one positive out of this, you got BFP which means there is a good chance you could fall pregnant again, there may be tests you can do to find out why might (im hoping/praying you arent MC) miscarry.

Take this time to really rest your body and mind and take care of yourself.

Sofia


----------



## mamali

Assalamualaikum. Am really happy to find this group. Am 16 weeks 3 days pregnant, and am fasting right now. I fasted yesterday and I am fasting today. I just wanted to find out if anyone is pregnant and fasting too. My infertility history is in my signature. 

Babydreaming am so sorry for what you are going through, may Allah give you the fortitude to bear it.

Ramadan Mubarak everyone.


----------



## Guest

Wa alaykum salaam Mamali - Congratulations on being pregnant, May Allah swt make the pregnancy and fasting easy for you!!  I know a lot of women who don't fast just because they are pregnant - well done for trying. I believe if you seek medical advice and they advice you not to fast as it will cause harm to the baby it is allowed to forgo fasting and make up at a later date.


----------



## Sidd

Ramzaan Mubarak to every one!!! And good luck x x


----------



## zest42day

Salaams all,

Babydreamer, so sorry to hear of what you are going through, but good to see you are looking to the future.

mamali, congratulations.

Ramadhan Mubarak to everyone.  I pray we are all able yoga in from this blessed month and take strength from it whatever our situation.


----------



## Strings

Assalam o Alaikum,

Ramadan Mubarak to all of u.May Allah bless us in this holy month.Ameen/

Babydreaming I am so sorry to know about what u r going through.May Allah grant u strength n bless u soon.inshaAllah. 

Congrats Mamali, Best of luck n prayers for u n ur baby.


----------



## amina001

Ramadan Mubarak to all! Babydreamer so sorry to read what has happened! May Allah give u strength and may Allah make your wishes come true! Ameen


----------



## Babydreaming

Thank you ladies...life goes on, the world keeps turning.


----------



## Rania82

Ramadan Kareem everyone xx

Baby dreaming- sorry to hear your painful journey just before Ramadan.

All we can do is what we do every ramadan is pray so so hard for a miracle.

First 2 days were very hard for me, I would cry when I wake I would cry when I broke my fast I truly am broken in every way possible. Every Ramadan I would say to my husband " next Ramadan we will have our baby with us during iftaar, or I I'll be cooking with a huge bump"   6 Ramadans have come and gone and it is just me and my husband quietly breaking our fasts alone   I see the pain deep in his eyes while we quietly chew our dates   v v quiet household while by now I was expecting noise or life of a baby  :'

I am a Muslim and I will continue my prayers my Duas, how many more ramadans will pass us by? They say Allah swt never denys your duas just before one breaks their fast? I have made the same dua over 200 times before I sip water I I'll ask Allah to bless me please with a healthy baby! But still nothing at all? I need to embrace ramadan and not to get too upset, I find ramadans and eids the hardest   I want to be a mom so badly and put a smile on my husbands face! Feel like such a failure even though its a male issue! Still feel it's 
me!

Everyone falls pregnant way too easily! Yet our battle is blinding.
Inshallah we will get our dreams. I guess I am hurting so much and this will not get me a positive. I could  not even swallow my food the other night as I was holding back my tears   is this what my husband wants to see during iftaar? His wife hysterical at the table?? I just had to let it all out and move forward.

Mamali- congratulations! Are you in the uk? If so I would not fast, the days are far too long and after the 
journey you went through to get pregnant would you want to put your baby at risk? Give zakat or repeat after the babies born. The baby needs nutrients and If you are fasting 18 hrs a day thats asking for trouble! Again thats my personal opinion. I would most likely pay zakaat and Allah knows whats in my heart. Islam is v v simple and the old the sick people on a journey etc are exempt do not complicate Islam and push your body to the limits. Look after  your growing miracle In your womb x

Sophie inshallah your well x  you said I "know a lot of people who don't fast just because they are pregnant" being pregnant is the miracle of all miracles maybe if some women have 3 4 5 kids they just fast and go with the flow. Having never been pregnant in my life 4 failed ivfs I will do everything I can to protect  and feed whats growing in me, I would not fast and I know my husband would not allow me. Fasting without a baby is already difficult imagine a baby sucking your energy and nutrients.

Especially going through ivf and fasting in my eyes is a no. Allah knows best at the end of the day but we can never judge a pregnant women who is not fasting that she is weak or less religious. A friend of mine tried for a few days was so so weak boarder line fainting! Allah didn't say this or wants this.

Going off the topic, lets keep each other in our duas and pray for miracles by the end of the year xx


----------



## positive4eva

Rania   ders nothing I or any1 can say to make the pain go away! The only thing I can say is plz jus b strong Allah is the best planner and he will reward u for ur struggles IA! 
I can understand as every year I used to say the same thing, next Ramadan will b different etc etc but wen time was right it happened after 11 years of ttc!   jus b der for each other! It will happen on the chosen time! I will def remember u in my duas! May Allah bless u very soon!

Baby dreaming so sorry! IA Allah bless u soon!   

Sophie, zest, Amina, sadya, sister c and all the sisters hope ur all well and Ramadan is goin well! Xxx

This is a very rewarding month may Allah accept all out duas and ibadaat! May Allah end everyone's wait and struggles! May dis month bring luck to all sisters ttc! 
IA I will remember u all in my duas and plz sisters remember me in urs
Xxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters. Ramadan Mubarak.

to answer a question - I did not go for IVF because I don't and didn't live in the UK. We could not afford the treatment. and Given my age the statistics on conceiving naturally are the same as with IVF - about 20% success rate.

This month - I am on CD42 have had 2 BFNs but no AF yet. I don't want to believe the HPTs. 

I am not fasting because I need to take my meds.

Thank you to the sisters who prayed for me in the past. May Allah reward you well.

Baby Maryam - delighted to hear about your little girl - also noticed that you were ready to give up TTC - This was my last round of Clomid. I'm scared to keep taking it without being under medical supervision (I get my meds sent over to me from Ireland every month). It is having my step kids that has enabled me to be ready to step off the TTC roundabout BUT I hope and pray I am pregnant even though I have no idea at all how I would cope. I find the heat here intolerable.

I know that sounds mixed up and illogical - but that's how I feel.


----------



## Rania82

Thank you for your kind words postive and mashallah I can see you got a positive and a baby x mashallah not many women get pregnant on their first ivf  so you are v blessed, 11 years passed you did one ivf and mashallah your a mom.

I have done 4 ivfs 6 yrs almost past and it's v hard to have hope sometimes it really is... After 3 failed ivfs your chances of success takes a nose dive   inshallah we are saving for a 5 th one and Allah knows best.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum

apoliogises for offending anyone with my comment regarding fasting whilst pregnant.


----------



## mamali

Assalamualaikum everyone, and ramadan mubarak. Thank you all for the congratulations and i hope and pray all of you will get their bfp soon In Shaa Allah.

Rania I live in Nigeria, we finish sahur around 5am, and Iftar is around 7pm. I am still fasting, am not finding it difficult and i don't feel any different. So I guess it is ok for me to fast. I have asked some scholars and was told if you are pregnant, and ok i.e you are not sick or anything and fasting dosn't make you sick or weak, then it is not allowed for you to drop fasting just because you are pregnant. Allah knows best. I pray that Allah grants you your heart desire, it is not easy going through infertility. We tried for four years (even though not ivf), but were succesful this year, and its due to male factor infertility, so I know what you are going through. You blame yourself even though you know it is not your fault. I'll pay for you and everyone else everyday i break my fast In Shaa Allah  .


----------



## SisterC

Rania HUGS


----------



## SisterC

I am on CD43. I took Clomid as prescribed. Had 2 HPTs last week which were negative. I'm getting worried as no sign of AF. What other reasons could there be for her not showing than pregnancy? I'm worried about having something wrong with me 'cos this doesn't make sense.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Salams Sister C, firstly I have to say how lovely it is to see you on here again regularly and secondly how incredibly different you sound from when you were with your ex Alhamdulliah.... It's amazing what the love of a good man can do!!!  Now don't be offended by this but regarding your lack of periods have you considered you could be peri menapausal? I know this isn't what you want to hear but I have a friend your age and she is the same ( she missed 4 months of periods recently
). Have you had your bloods done lately at your doctors? I'm thinking of getting my hormones checked as even though I'm only just 40 I've been feeling so hormonal and weepy lately that I think something's going on!!

Take care sister xx


----------



## SisterC

'cos I'm in Africa now I don't know what doctor to go to or what blood tests to ask for. The longer the delay the more I believe I am in fact pregnant.  But of course that's what I want to believe. What tests should I ask to get done? A blood  pregnancy test is one but what else?


----------



## isobel snow drop

Definitely ask for a pregnancy one first, if that comes back negative ask for a hormone blood test. I don't know if they will do an amh test over there but they will be able to do some tests, unfortunately one of them is a 3 day test which needs to be done 3 days after the start of your period   I would say get a test to check for any hcg in your blood stream first. How do you feel? Do you feel pregnant/ any different? Xx


----------



## SisterC

Salam alaikom sisters

Isobel - I don't feel any different NOW but I slept all day yesterday - Dh was very annoyed by that. Every day I have just been feeling exhausted but I am not used to the heat or the climate here at all. This is my first year to experience it. I feel like continually checking for AF. The last few days I thought she was coming but when I check there is no blood, alhamdililah. 

Today is CD44.

I am taking a lot of meds for OCD and Bipolar as well as the Clomid. That makes me wonder if the hpts were wrong. It's over a week since I did them. I've told Dh that I feel something is wrong with me. I don't know what it is but I have a feeling something is not right around where my left ovary and fallopian tube are. I also have a lot of pain in my left breast but that is not particularly unusual. (I have inappropriate lactation as a side-effect of my meds).

I went on a forum for step parents and there were people on there who were very horrible and made me doubt my marriage and my husband etc. Probably my own fault for mixing with ******* instead of muslims. I was really upset and I have been feeling very insecure because of what those women said and dh is watching a lot of TV. I have no one here to talk to and my arabic is not good yet. The kids are all away and it is just myself and dh now. I haven't been fasting due to my meds but I was a bit unwell the first week of Ramadan.

So I don't know how I feel. Scared I suppose.


----------



## SisterC

how long does it take to get the results of a pregnancy blood test?


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum Sister C, sorry to hear you are not feeling great. Does your medication cause tiredness or is this something new that has happened?  I would definitely recommend a blood test, usually you can get the results back on the same day. Im not the time frame would be for your local clinic, if you can, I would recommend you see a doctor as well to make sure there isnt any other underlying issues.

May Allah SWT make this issue easy for you and your husband


----------



## SisterC

Wa alaikom salam sophie

My meds can cause tiredness but this is new to me. However if I stay all the time in an air-conditioned room I'm ok. I think it is just the heat though I hope it is not. Similarly I'm not eating properly even though I'm not fasting and I'm getting dizzy getting up from sitting on the floor or doing sujood in the salah - again I think it's my blood sugar but I hope it's not.


----------



## SisterC

My husband thinks it is just likely the end of my periods - but I thought there was more to menopause than missing AF?


----------



## isobel snow drop

Sister C one of the first signs of the perimenapause is irregular periods, missing them for months at a time. I know how difficult it is to be in a strange country where you don't know the language but get your husband to take you to see a female doctor so you can get to the bottom of it. Regarding people dissing your husband... Why would you even care what these people think? As long as you love each other and your arrangement is working for you then stuff strangers who don't know you!  Xxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters.
What day or month does the angel breathe the soul into the baby?


----------



## amina001

I think it's 12 weeks.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Is it 40 days after conception ??


----------



## SisterC

When do you have your first ultra sound scan? What are they scanning for? What does it cost?


----------



## isobel snow drop

Salam alaikum sister C, do you mean in general when you're pregnant? If you have a scan around 7 weeks pregnant, (that's 3 weeks after missed period) you normally see the sac with baby and heart beat. Around 5-5.5 weeks you can sometimes see a sac and often a yolk sac and fetal pole and then anytime onwards you start to see the heartbeat but as I say it's best to be 7 weeks to see the heartbeat. Scans in this country privately cost anything from around £70 to £200. How are you feeling? Xxx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

I don't know where I am. Had a BFN on CD35 but now on CD50 and no AF.

Insha Allah I will have a blood test done tomorrow. A friend told me I need to know if AF arrives whether she is a late period or a miscarriage. I wasn't worried until I spoke to my friend - but she has 8 live kids and one miscarriage so she knows what she's talking about. She had 2 BFN's from Urine test including one in a hospital but has a 14 year old daughter who was definitely there despite the BFN. Truly only Allah knows what is in the wombs.

The "doctor for women and babies" wants me to wait another week before attending for a consultation - he wants me to wait 8 weeks to be on the safe side. Insha Allah I will get a scan done next week either to confirm pregnancy or to check my ovaries etc are all right - I haven't been scanned in years and I've been back on Clomid for 9 months. I am a bit worried about possible side effects and "unsafe medicine" as the Consultant in the hospital told me - but that was before I moved to the Middle East, before I divorced from my last husband. Actually I had decided that this was the last round of Clomid I would take and prayed Istikara about it, (I think). So just wait, wait and wait. Tied up my camel - now time to put my trust in Allah.

Please remember me when you break your fast. Only du'a can help me now.

Thanks for the support sisters.


----------



## meridian99

Assalamalikum ladies, what a pleasant surprise to find this group! May Allah swt make what is best for everyone -easy for them iA. 

I'm new to this forum. I've recently been told IVF is my only chance at having a child and even then only 10%. I am praying to Allah to make this easy for me as my patience is tested daily.

I am considering IVF treatments privately at ARGC - just waiting on the NHS testing (blood work, u/s, DH SA etc) to come through first. 

Just wanted to say hello and let you know that you will be in my prayers tonight iA xx


----------



## isobel snow drop

Wa alaikum Salam 
Welcome meridian, it's a scary feeling entering the world of ivf so in'Sha'Allah you'll get some support from the sisters on here. Feel free to ask any questions you may have, however silly you may feel they are.


----------



## SisterC

Wa alaikum Salam 
Welcome meridian!!!

I have to say that this is a lovely group of sisters who have helped me stay sane. They have been there for me in a way that no one else could be especially in Real Life. 

I didn't go for the blood test today - woke up to find dh had left to go to Cairo by train to collect my medicine. Still no AF alhamdililah. Insha Allah I will get the blood test done 2moro.

Please keep me in your du'as


----------



## isobel snow drop

Oh my Sister C are you living in Egypt? I love Egypt and have been many times although Cairo is a little crazy!! Xx


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum sisters hope you are well and ramandan has gone well for you so far Insha'Allah.

Welcome meridian. Hope your are well? I hope all the tests come back ok and then you able to start your treatment.

Sister C - I hope Allah swt makes this journey easy for you, did you have a chance to do any more tests?

I havent been on for while,  i had a mri a few weeks which came  out clear alhumdillah. I wont be having another ivf until next year probably. Please keep me in your duas I am trying naturally too as I don't want to go through another cycle


----------



## SisterC

ASalam alaikom sisters

Had a blood test done today CD51- BFN

I am finding it hard to believe the test is true. My ankles are swollen, my boobs are tender, I feel sick a lot of the time, I have gained weight and still no AF and I was on Clomid. So will have to undergo further investigation until I find out what IS wrong. I put everything down to just being pregnant. Now I'm worried about what damage the Clomid might have done.

Alhamdililah I was sleeping when dh came to tell me the test results (he got them over the fone) and when I left the bedroom to come into this room Ayat al Kursi was playing on my computer! Qadr Allah wa ma sha fa'al. Alhamdililah I have 6 step-kids and a wonderful husband masha Allah which is a million times better than what I had before. I can't complain - I am truly blessed - even if not in the obvious way. Insha Allah I will have a child in Jennah. Meanwhile there are 6 here to give stability to.

Am so glad I could turn to you all.
Love
SisterC


----------



## isobel snow drop

Wa alaikum Salam, Awww sis, it's hard when you really feel pregnant isn't it? There's no way I can get pregnant yet last yr I think it was I was late and really felt pregnant and even though technically I can't get pregnant ( no tubes) we never know what Allah swt has it store for us so even I went and bought a test and even though I really knew it wouldn't be + I must admit I was tinged with sadness to see the -. We have so much to be grateful in this life and yes your family may not be conventional sister but it is your family and they will all respect you when they're older. Take care xxxx


----------



## amina001

Sorry to hear that sisterc! I was praying that Allah give us good news at least for one sister on tis forum! Chalo as Allah wills!


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters.


CD52 and still no AF. In Ireland they messed up my blood tests - so I'm not 100% confident that they got it right in Egypt. I think I need to see the scan on Tuesday to believe the BFN. I keep thinking of the verse in Qur'an where it says only Allah knows what is in the wombs. When I remember that an Australian woman who had a hysterectomy had a baby (it grew attached to the large intestine) and I remember Abraham and Zachariah- - seeing is believing. And Khadija (ra) was  about my age when she had Fatima (Ra). 


Insha Allah I'll be in touch on Tuesday. I hope the scan is not too costly. I'm worried about PCOS and Fibroids etc. etc.


Thanks for all your support . May Allah give us all the Serenity to accept the things we cannot change, Courage to change the things we can and Wisdom to know the difference. May he grant us all Sakinah, Sabr and strong Iman and the submission to bow to his decree. Amin


----------



## mamali

Ameen SisterC, am so sorry you are going through all this  .

Ramadan Mubarak and Jummu'at Kareem everyone, May The Almighty Allah accept our acts of Ibada, and grant us our heart desires, Ameen.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Well tomorrow is CD56 and still no AF. Supposed to be going for a scan to find out what the story is - but might not have the money to do it. There has been a family emergency and I haven't seen Dh since morning and I didn't see him last night at all. So i don't know if there is enough money left.

I am starting to accept the BFN but still want to go for the scan to see what exactly IS going on.

On another note - I found this forum so helpful that when I ended up  with 6 stepkids I went on a step-parenting forum. Once they knew I was muslim it was very clear that I was not welcome. Really alhamdililah I have never seen such bad behaviour before. It was a real eye-opener as to how the kuffar think and some of the attitudes showed why there will never be peace in my lifetime. I had never come across this before and in fact I was cyber-bullied off the forum. They called me a liar and applied American legal reasoning to the way things should be instead of accepting and dealing with the way things actually ARE! They accused me of being a drama queen and much more. They went so far as to say that I was planning on sexually abusing my step-son and was preparing my defence online in advance! Audhu billah min hada. 

Does anyone know where there is a GOOD forum for step-parents? I have to learn so much.Alhamdililah

Insha Allah will be in touch

SisterC


----------



## Wraakgodin

SisterC, I found your experience quite disturbing.  I am so sorry to hear that you have come up against such prejudice.  There are some nasty people on forums (thankfully we see very few on FF), they are nothing but cowards hiding behind the anonymity of a computer screen.  They should be pitied for having such hate in their hearts.  

Not all non-Muslims are like that.  I don't care what nationality or religion someone is, I care about the character of someone and whether they are friendly.  Hopefully important decisions in the future will be made by those without prejudice and there will be peace.  

Sue


----------



## SisterC

Salams all


Don't get me wrong Sue there were some nice people. Some straight talking people and I corresponded privately with some lovely people. But the bottom line remains I wasn't wanted because I was muslim end of story. Same thing happened on the BBC  fertility forum and when a sister on there told me about here I was delighted. I don't think I could have survived the last couple of years without the sisters on here.

Does anyone know what happened to Snowbelle and Ren? They disappeared. Insha Allah it's 'cos they don't need us anymore and not for any other reason.

AS for me today is CD 57 and I should have gone for a scan yesterday but my sister-in-law had a bad accident and my husband was not free to take me. I know the Urine and the Blood tests said No! but dh is telling me to easy on one of my meds in particular which I was told to come off if I got pregnant. I think he is secretly hoping the tests were wrong and so am I and it is true that only Allah knows and miracles do happen.

Trying not to think about it until I have the scan and see what exactly IS going on inside me.

May Allah accept all your deeds this holy month and may he answer your dua's and mine. Amin.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Sister C, I'm at my sister in laws seeing their new baby so don't have a lot of time so I'll wait until I'm home to comment on the awful women you encountered on the step children forum. Just wanted to say that as far as I know Ren had her baby a few yrs ago but Snowbelle is still trying, she has been on to tell us about her tx etc but doesn't get on a lot nowadays. Sometimes it's hard to come on here and see people getting pregnant etc isn't it when nothing seems to move on for you? Im sure Snowbelle knows we all care for her though and one day in'Sha'Allah she'll be on giving us good news   xx


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum all, 

i hope you are all insha'allah! Cant believe ramandan is ending soon, just a reminder how quick life is passing by us!
Sister C - I am sorry you have had bad experiences on other forum, I was so happy when I found this forum as I did not tell anyone about my first IVF and the ladies on this forum really helped me get through it.
I hope everything is okay with your sister in law? 

I have made lots of dua for all of us going through infertility, may Allah (SWT)  grant us pious and healthy offspring ameen!

I am so desperate to fall pregnant naturally or by my last IVF. We decided that we will not be going through any treatment after the next funded NHS one and husband does not want to adopt either. 

Please  keep me in your duas ladies

xxxxx


----------



## SisterC

INsha Allah Sophie


----------



## Rania82

Salams Sophia 

In a blink of an eye our beautiful Ramadan has come and almost gone   I have prayed very hard also that all us ladies that have not been blessed yet get our 'break through' and inshAllah have a baby or pregnancy very soon  
It is very hard living in limbo, and waiting for something that might never have meant to be   The stress it puts on our mental health and our relationships it is a killer. I am so tired of putting our live on HOLD "In case" I am pregnant. I have started buying clothes that fit me! as for the last few years i have been buying baggy clothes thinking i will be pregnant and the top will not fit me   also I have been treating myself to high heels as for the last 5 years been getting flats thinking will be suitable for pregnancy   I am exhausted of waiting and waiting. My husband said to me with every passing month I do not believe it will happen. I find it hard to believe any one else will be sitting with us on this dining table   I said to him not to think like that! i do not know how or when but i do promise that our home will be full of love and children's laughter! he looked at me and smiled and said "you promise me?" i said YES! InshAllah! Than i said in my heart "ya rab please help us out on this one!" 


Were definitely at a crossroad   Do we save for a 5th IVF? or do we call it a day and start finding other ways to be 'parents' and is DNA very important to us? (i love my husband so much and i just want to make a baby that is a product of our love) I want the baby to look like us, have our personality I would love all of that! BUT maybe Allah has better plans for us?? Maybe a pregnancy will kill me or my unborn? Maybe my child will have abnormalities that Allah SWT knows that I can not mentally cope with? My child might bring me too much pain and misery? Allah Hu Alam why 6 years have almost passed and NEVER a 1% of pregnancy? I trust Allah and what will be will be. I have cried, screamed my heart out and none the wiser why it always fails  

This is the worse thing a childless women in a loving marriage can experience. It is the hand we have been given   my dream was like 3 or 4 children. I pray so hard to Allah swt that give me one and i am forever blessed and thankful. If I get given twins, that will be a taste of the hereafter for me I will be floating with happiness till my final breath   LAILATUL QADAR is where duas are answered and it is better than a 1000 nights, lets pray so hard on these precious days x

Lets continue our prays for each others. I wish everyone all the best in your personal journeys xx

This thread definitely needs more BFP! 

xx


----------



## Guest

As salsa alaykum Rania
I know exactly how you feel about life being on hold, everything has been about hospital appointments and treatments for the last 5 years. I haven't been able to go away for 3 years, planned everything around ivf. 

This will be a difficult eid for me, I'm the only childless person in the family, it will be the first eid with my new nephew. I feel so rubbish I don't want to go home for eid, just a constant reminder of what things would/should have been for us. 

I am having the mirena coil out in Monday as part of my treatment, so that's 6 months of not being able to fall pregnant. I have to wait until December and if all is okay then I can start my final ivf. I really can't believe this is it for me, I was soooo hopeful when I first started now it makes so upset thinking about it all. 

The next year will be a difficult test, please make dua that Allah makes this easy for me whatever happens


----------



## SisterC

Salams all

Rania you brought tears to my eyes. Sophie may Allah reward your patience. He always answers du'as though not always the way we want him too.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters.
I am just home from seeing a Gynae and having a 8week plus scan. No fibroids, no baby and PolyCystic Right ovary. Was given progesterone to bring my period on. Then told to take MORE clomid for longer. 50mg 3 times a day from CD3. I'm to be injected again on CD14 and CD16. I was told AGAIN to lose weight. I'm 105kg and a size 18. I used to be a size 24-26. I prayed Istikara recently about giving up taking clomid 'cos I was afraid of the side effects - and believe the PCOS that has developed is due to it as a side-effect. I'm so used to the disappointments but dh is not. He seems keen to try it for "one more month". I just feel like giving up. I'm tired and I'm getting too old to have a baby on top of my stepkids. I knew both the HPT and the Blood tests were negative but I believed in the ayah that "only Allah knows what is in the wombs" so I wasn't convinced until the scan. Even now I'm not sure how I feel. I also have a very severe fungal infection in my ear and am on anti-biotics because there is a co-existent bacterial infection. But we saw the ear doc before the Gynae and he wanted to put me on really strong anti-biotics but I didn't want them until after  had the scan just to be sure to be sure - like the Irish woman who took the 2 pills. 

Dua's would be appreciated.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam aalaikom sisters

Dh gave me my progesterone shot so insha Allah AF will show up in a week or so. Can anyone tell me about PCOS please. I now have this in my right ovary.

C


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisterC
PCOS has many different syptoms, such as irregular periods, development of cysts, hormone imbalance, hair growth, weight gain.  I had a cysts on my ovarywhich i had drilled.  I have irregular periods which makes it diificult for me to know when or if im ovulating.  There are many ways of treating PCOS is the pill or metformin, the doctor will also recommend diet/exercise as well as medication. 

Hope that helps.

sophie


----------



## meridian99

Rania, may Allah swt reward your patience through this trial - I can imagine what you're going thru. I'm only starting out down this road and feel uneasy. But I believe in the power of the Almighty and that anything is possible if He wills it. 

Stay strong x


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

I'm trying to decide whether to give up or not. I thought I had already - 'cos I wasn't planning on taking any more Clomid but I have 40 tablets left and 21 are needed if I follow this doctor's instructions. Funny - I'm inclined to believe that in Egypt they know more about babies and pregnancy than they do in the West. Probably doesn't make any sense but then the West doesn't make any sense of life at all.

Dh and I discussed it and he told me of his fears
1. There would be something wrong with the baby because of my age
2. that my medication would damage the baby
3. That babies take all the mother's attention so she doesn't have time for her husband any more.

It's the first time we've REALLY talked about it. And I would like to talk a lot more before I start taking pills and injections. Dh is 51 and I'm 45 - that's old to be just starting. Alhamdililah our marriage is great but he has 6 kids already and they take up a lot of time, attention, emotion, money etc. None of them are married yet. The eldest is 23 and the youngest is 4. 

I have never before used the endearment "baby" but that's what I feel my dh is - I feel like he is my baby and he needs all my attention. He likes just to have me close even when he's taking a nap. Just BEING THERE for him takes time when I can't do anything else. Now don't get me wrong - I am far from complaining about that but I can see what he means about objection number 3. He IS like a baby and I treat him like one 'cos that's what he likes but a real baby would be competition for him. 

Will be doing a lot of thinking.

I can't believe I'm thinking like this when for the last 25 years the thing I wanted most was to be a mother. Maybe Allah just wanted me to be a step-mother. Masha Allah - this family NEEDS a centre that is home to them all.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Eid Mubarak ladies, In'Sha'Allah you are all having a lovely day 😘


----------



## positive4eva

Eid Mubarak!! Hope everyone had a great day! 😄


----------



## amina001

Eid Mubarak ladies! Hope u all have a great day! 🎉🎈🎊


----------



## Sidd

Eid Mubarak ladies 😊hope you all had a fab day x


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters.

Eid Mubarak! Takabal Allah mina wa minkum


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters.

I'm back. Again.

So AF arrived in response to the progesterone injection and we talked again. Dh said he would love to have a baby with me, and maybe Allah would grant us a pious child. But he doesn't want me to feel guilty or to go to extremes to have a baby. So we agreed to go ahead this month with the injections and the Clomid and to leave it at that. He is worried about having an abnormal child and who would care for it after we died. I said that I wasn't looking that far ahead - I just want one to live long enough to have a soul - so I can have a child in Jennah. 

I'm worried about a lot of things and I don't know who to talk to.

I think I need to go home to set my mind at rest about a lot of things.

Actually I wrote that about an hour ago. Now having taken my medication I feel better - I want to sleep.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisters, a very late Eid Mubarak! Sorry I have been meaning to come online ages!

Sister C - I think it was a good idea to have direct and open discussion with hubby. I completely understand you both have a fear of the unknown.  One thing you must remember, please do not put you're own health at risk in progress, I found the whole infertility very difficult physically and mentally - I still think about asking my husband for khula so that he can move on with his life.  I am in the process of trying to find a 2nd wife too
....Make istikhara and give it one more chance. Atleast you know you have try every option possible and leave the everything else to Allah (swt)


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Sophie thank you. Your dh is still very young. Men who have a lot more life experience find polygyny difficult to say the least. Are you sure he is ready for the responsiblity? Does HE want a 2nd wife? If so why isn't HE looking - you can not choose his wife - and the deeper involved you are in the process the more likely you are to get hurt. Why are you pushing your husband away and into the arms of someone who might ALSO have fertility problems. A second wife is not the solution. 

A khula is not something I would advise on until you have finishing the grieving that goes along with infertility.

You still have a treatment ahead. Sister please don't regard yourself as disposable or "damaged goods" just because there is an infertility problem. I'm a lot older than you, so please forgive the unsolicited advice.

Be kind to yourself as well as your husband. Please.

C


----------



## isobel snow drop

Well said Sister C, very wise words to Sophie. Xxx


----------



## Guest

Sister C thanks for the advice.

We have been talking for this for a while- the second marriage thing.  I spoke to both our parents, noone seems to support this - which is so unfortunate as it is allowed and especially in our situation. I wont be looking for him, i made that clear. I told he needs to go the mosque and ask about.

I have found the whole experience very hard, it has question alot and affected my imaan. I want to be rid of this situation which i feel is causing me more harm (emotionally and physically). I am not the happy person i use to be and feel that I am not happy...worst of all - I still get upsest when i hear about ppl getting pregnant ( i cant believe how low i have come)!.

We have one last IVF cycle which I dont know if I want to do yet, its not until Dec/Jan - so I have enough time to make a decision.  I havent discuss the khula thing with hubby yet, im not sure how he will react.  We dont really have the perfect marriage, and I feel that I am really holding him back in life.


----------



## cookies81

Alslamu aliekum sisters and eid Mubark I haven't been posting for a while but I've been reading I needed a break from ttc Ivf and anything I wanted happy stories with happy endings and I found my answer in adoption alhamdulilah I've never felt happier excited and optimistic web my family members who were against the idea noticed tr change and r now fully on board 
Sister c welcome back very happy to hear about ur marriage and ur hubby seems wonderful mashAllah
Sophie what your going through sounds so familiar to my mind set last year my husband got really mad when I mentioned a second wife and said we r in it for good or bad and thid had helped me alot I echo sister c advice don't push him away ur hurt now and can't think clearly my advice would be to put tx behind u and focus on getting your marriage back on track take care of u and get interested in what makes u happy being a woman is not about the ability to bear a child but the ability to nurture and beautify everything around us may Allah give u peace of mind 
Isobel, Sadya, baby Maryam , and all the other sisters I hope u r well and happy inshAllah


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum,

my husband is not against having a second wife, but he doesnt want to wait forever - my last IVF might not work either.  He doesnt want to go for a private cycle either, so we do not have any other options available. Hes expressed he does not want to adopt either as he wants his own children (alhumduillah there is nothing wrong with him) so I can see his point of view. He said he wouldnt divorce me, but I dont want him to stay with me out of pity or family reasons.  I think maybe we need to sit down and speak an imam or someone.


----------



## cookies81

Pray istkhara dear Sophie and inshAllah Allah will point you to the right direction   and if u want to talk I know what your feeling I've been there and my health is effected by the Ivf


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Sophie - that's great advice about praying Istikara. Also the best piece of advice I got in my life was "whatever you do do, do it solely for the sake of Allah"


----------



## meridian99

Asalamalikum everyone, new here so just getting caught up. 

Sophie, I pray and hope that the best happens for you, whatever it may be. You are in a difficult place and I pray Allah make it easy for you.

I'm just starting to face what I feel like is the inevitable, I don't have much hope but I also know that Allah is the best of planners. May Allah give us all peace and patience thru this, Ameen. 

mx


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisters, thank you for you're advice and dua's.

May Allah (swt) make this test for for us! 

meridian99  - are you able to have anymore treatment?


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam sisters
Hope ur all gud
Just curious has anyone got contact wid snowbelle? She hasn't cum on for along time! 
Good luck to all ladies
Xx
Remember me in ur duas


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams all
Thought I would drop by and say hi, inshallah I hope you guys are all doing well and your dreams are coming true.


Nothing has really changed with us except I don't believe that it will happen for us anymore. So i am just trying to focus on what I have in my life and enjoy the opportunities that appear.


Love and duas for you all


Love


Snowbelle


----------



## isobel snow drop

Salams Snowbelle, it's lovely to hear from you... Lots of people have been asking after you! I'm sorry to hear that things have not progressed but good to hear that you are focussing on the future.  I do hope you will be blessed one day soon In Sha Allah but if Allah swt has not willed this for you I'm sure there will be other things in store for you. How is Mr Snow? I hope this journey has brought you closer together 😘.
I think about you often and wonder how you are so please don't leave it so long next time to get in touch!
Lots of love
Isobel xx


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom. Where is everybody?


----------



## Guest

wa alaykum salaam sisterC
I hope you are doing well and you're health is approving inshaa'Allah.  I hope everyone else is doing well. 
I am waiting for an emergency appointment to have the mirena coil to be put in under GA, unfortunatley my appointment at the clinic did go well :-(
I was told that the coil we make me blood for about 2/3 months non -stop, I am assuming that I can still pray as this is not a period. Does anyone know?


----------



## positive4eva

Hey
Hope u all r gud
Sophie yes u can still pray! As period is a maximum of 10 days in which u dnt hav to pray! 
During the month of Ramadan I bled film the end so after ten days I had to pray and fast

Hope all goes well for you
Xx


----------



## Me Myself and I

sophie82 said:


> wa alaykum salaam sisterC
> I hope you are doing well and you're health is approving inshaa'Allah. I hope everyone else is doing well.
> I am waiting for an emergency appointment to have the mirena coil to be put in under GA, unfortunatley my appointment at the clinic did go well :-(
> I was told that the coil we make me blood for about 2/3 months non -stop, I am assuming that I can still pray as this is not a period. Does anyone know?


I have not known anyone to have the Mirena fitted and bleed for three months. Depending on the need of the GA - I assume not solely for the Mirena - you may bleed after the op, in my experience this has lasted a maximum of ten days even with the Mirena fitted during surgery.

Try not to fret.


----------



## Guest

Thanks for the messages, the Dr who originally was going to put the coil in advised me to expect alot of bleeding. I am having the coil to thin the lining in the womb. 
Unfortunately the Dr couldnt insert the coil due issues with cervix, so now I am having it under GA to reducde the pain and relax the muslce


----------



## Me Myself and I

sophie82 said:


> Thanks for the messages, the Dr who originally was going to put the coil in advised me to expect alot of bleeding. I am having the coil to thin the lining in the womb.
> Unfortunately the Dr couldnt insert the coil due issues with cervix, so now I am having it under GA to reducde the pain and relax the muslce


Before opting for a GA have you tried contacting a local clinic that specialise in Mirena insertions/removals? Thy tend to be very good at what they are doing as it is their bread and butter, where as docs tend to not be quite so 'skilled' if you get my drift. 
If that's not an option, have you enquired about possibly just having a sedative. A GA for the coil seems like using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, so to speak....


----------



## Guest

I really dont want to have GA either, I wanted mild sedation. The sexual health clinic is the only place near me that does it but doesnt offer any sediation and the Dr there was unable to do it. I think the big problem is that (sorry for TMI) my cervix is too tight, we had the same problem at both my ET where the consultant found it difficult to do the implantation. I did have it dilated for my next ivf (that was last year)  but due to all the other problems with lining we never got to start another cycle.


----------



## Me Myself and I

sophie82 said:


> I really dont want to have GA either, I wanted mild sedation. The sexual health clinic is the only place near me that does it but doesnt offer any sediation and the Dr there was unable to do it. I think the big problem is that (sorry for TMI) my cervix is too tight, we had the same problem at both my ET where the consultant found it difficult to do the implantation. I did have it dilated for my next ivf (that was last year) but due to all the other problems with lining we never got to start another cycle.


Sorry to hear that.

Not knowing where you are, you would consider going perhaps to a major clinic like the one held in Guys etc and see if they have anymore success whilst you are awaiting the appointment, which is likely to be three+ months with the usual delays etc.


----------



## Guest

Im in London, you are the second person that as recommended Guys in the last couple of days.  I havent really done any proper research on Guys yet, I have been quite happy with the treatment at Barts eventhough I got BFN.
I have been put on an emergency list for the procedure so im hoping that the appointment is not too far away


----------



## Me Myself and I

sophie82 said:


> Im in London, you are the second person that as recommended Guys in the last couple of days. I havent really done any proper research on Guys yet, I have been quite happy with the treatment at Barts eventhough I got BFN.
> I have been put on an emergency list for the procedure so im hoping that the appointment is not too far away


I would phone and speak to the sexual health clinic - explain everything and they may be able to advise further. It has to be worth a go. Incidentally, I had the same issue when having it removed and was going to have to go under a GA, but the clinic successfully sorted it for me.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters. 

I am happy to be able to say I haven't the faintest idea which cycle day I am on! It is only when Allah frees you from the torture of the biological timebomb that you realize how much stress you were under and how much ttc controlled your whole life. Well that was my experience anyway. 

I had my injections on day 14 and on day 16. I took the Clomid as best as I remembered and I took the hormone replacement pills too as best I could - sometimes I got confused and either took too many or skipped some. I don't even think it is a good idea to do a hpt because those injections were hcg and they could give a false positive.

Alhamdililah I feel great. I am only worried about my husband - he is not used to the ttc roller coaster at all, and I know he really wants a baby - even more than I do I think.

Please make du'a for us.

Insha Allah some of us will have some good news soon.


----------



## SisterC

Salaams

Since i wrote my last post I have been extremely sick. Dh thinks it's morning sickness - I wish it was but I think it is a tummy bug.

I feel like death warmed up.

C


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

I feel much better today alhamdililah. It wasn't morning sickness 

Allah is the Best of Planners


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisterC - i am glad to hear that you are feeling much better masha'Allah.

I hope everyone is doing ok? Havent heard from sister sadya in a very long time - hope all is ok with you


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

I was so upset today that when I called my husband he knew there was something wrong and came home. He found me crying in the bedroom. My eldest step-daughter (20) had upset me a lot. 

Alhamdililah it turned out it's not just me who is upset by her behaviour, her aunt and her grandmother have both complained of her behaviour. Alhamdililah my husband said he will speak with her. He even went so far as to say that if she can't be a part of the family (the new blended family with me as the mother-figure) then she can stay in her room! I must say I am relieved my husband saw my point. He went on to say that in a couple of years insha Allah it will just be the 2 of us and grandchildren which we can hand back! He also said there is a huge cultural gap between Egyptians and the Irish which he thinks is a contributing factor.

As you know I have a 35 day cycle so now I am into the 3rd week of my 3ww.

Please make du'a for me
C


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom

Tick Tock Tick tock.....

Insha Allah if AF does not arrive 2moro I will do a hpt on Saturday.


----------



## isobel snow drop

Wa Alaikum Salam Sister C, inshallah you get good news on your hpt!!!
Regarding your step daughter, don't even rise to her! She sounds very immature for a 20 year old young woman. It's good your husband supported you, just remember she won't be around forever 😘 xx


----------



## Guest

as salam alaykum all 

sisterC all the best for tomorrow, family can be very hard to deal with, insha'alllah i hope things are made easier for you

I have a very quick question and I hope that i do not offend anyone. ..

Did anyone tell their prospective husbands/in laws if they had medical conditions that would affect pregnancy? I was diagnosed with PCOS at 18 - did I/my parents make a mistake not telling anyone?


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam ladies
Hope u all r well
Sophie I didn't tell dem I had pcos! I kno 2 people who have pcos and der in laws hav now said to dem after years of marriage dat dey wer cheated and should b told before! I dnt personaly believe you should tell as it's not a life threatening condition! A lot of ladies wid pcos have no fertility problem at all! My sister also has pcos but wen we look for suitable partner for her it will not b up for discussion as having a child is in the hand of Allah and not any human! My brothers wife also has jus been diagnosed with pcos after 3 years of marriage and 2 miscarriages! We dnt hold it against her or her family instead we are der for her as she is the main person who is suffering! U made no mistake! Xxx

Afm off to Dubai for 10 days IA! The dua of a traveller is IA accepted so will def do dua for all the sisters hoping to hav a beautiful blessing soon! Plz remember me in ur duas aswell! 

Take care
Xxc


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom
Sophie I disagree with positive4eva. I think ALL medical conditions should be disclosed once a decision to marry has been taken. It's not fair to the prospective partner. I have 2 mental health problems but from the very get go - before my I even met my husband I had put in my ad that I have health problems which are controlled by medication. He has made it clear that the fact I made it clear from the beginning means he knew what he was taking on and masha Allah - he is very sensitive - he sometimes knows I'm not well before I know it myself. However, if I had not disclosed it he would have felt tricked as he has been tricked by a previous marriage partner. Alhamdililah I am very happy with my current husband masha Allah.

As for the hpt - did it yesterday - BFN and today AF arrived. I wanted to try again because I didn't realize I still wanted a baby since I have my step-kids - I was quite confused about it. The fact that I have mental health problems, that I'm 45 and not young and fit were all cons - but the night before the hpt I couldn't sleep and I was thinking The baby will be due at such and such a time which would be perfect 'cos the kids would be on holidays and dh could come to Ireland with me and the baby could be born there etc etc etc

But dh says let's just leave it for a few months - that it is all in Allah's hands anyway - that my hair is falling out and my eyesight is deteriorating from all the fertility treatment.

I will have a BIG job ahead of me - trying to mesh 6 kids from 4 different mothers into one family. There is a forum for step parents called steptalk.org but I was bullied off it for being a muslim. So I don't know where to go for help with being a step parent. 

I have now developed pcos in my right ovary - probably as a result of the clomid.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisters 
thanks for your replies and I can totally understand both views.  
are there any sisters who have had 'unexplained fertilty' and deal with husband/in laws blaming either spouse?

Please can you keep me in your duas as I am going through very difficult time at the moment : - (


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters

Sophie - may Allah make things easy for you.

C


----------



## Rania82

Salams ladies,

I often ponder would I have married my husband if he told me he had no sperms? If he told me it would be impossible to have babies the natural way?? Absolutely yes! I love Him with all my heart and soul and I try my best to focus on what we have.
The shaytaans whispers can be a mind f*ck! Your prime years are slowly passing from 24-31 and not even a positive! 4 failed IVFs and I'm going through all that pain and theres nothing wrong me!!! All my friends my brothers wives... Everyone pregnant within 3 months of marriage!! Why the hell did I end up in this mess!!?? Why is this the hands I have been dealt with!!?
I love my husband with my heart and soul and never i regret the marriage! What kills me daily is the thing that means so much to us is so hard to get  
When i see his smile, his kind gestures it takes me away from all this suffering. Weaker marriages would have broken by now, we have been to hell and back! Just gutted were in this mess.
If one doesn't love someone o guess its easier to walk away, but when you love someone with everything, I pray Allah will reward us..

Hang in their ladies


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum,  
Rania, i completely understand you're pain, sometimes I think if only i told him about the PCOS from the beginning then I wouldnt be where I am now. Why didnt i try harder to lose the weight and look after myself more. Aswell as Shaytans waswasa, there are also other people involved in this. 
There are a few people in my family (both aunts) who have been married for over 10 years and still have not had any kids, i know they have issues and they are still with their husbands.  My sister only got pregnant through IVF last year after 9 years of marriage. Some people are willing to be patient and stay with their spouse through the good and bad times, and there are some people who unfortunatley cant cope with the wait. And I dont begrudge anyone for not wanting to wait, I guess if you feel that you will always hold some resentment against your spouse because of infertility - then maybe it is better to move on instead of two people being miserable. I guess everyone has a different way of coping with the tests sent by Allah swt


----------



## SisterC

Salam alaikom

Sophie please don't beat yourself up - infertility beats and tortures us more than enough. Be gentle and kind to yourself just as you would be to any sister here.

Among other things infertility ripped my previous marriage apart yet held it together at the same time. We were locked in misery. Alhamdililah for my divorce! Alhamdililah for my current husband and alhamdililah for my step-kids.


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam ladies
Hope ur all gud
It's gone very quiet in here 
Hope all sisters r doin well
And looking forward to eid!


----------



## Guest

wa alaykum salaam,
it has become very quiet on here! i hope everyone is doing well insha'Allah
I had my op yesterday, it went alhumduillah. Just resting up today and back to work and life tomorrow.
I hope everyone is doing well, Eid is just round the corner, cant believe it has come round so soon


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum
hope everyone ok on here??


----------



## Sidd

W/Salaams ladies hope everyone is doing well

Praying for us all to have our dreams come true x
Ameen


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters


I just wanted to share the following: Spent an interesting time with my ex-husband and his new wife and step-son. It was nice to hear him being called "Baba" and insha Allah on Thursday night I'll be home and hear my skids call me "Mama". Subhan Allah I always knew my ex needed an Arab wife and alhamdililah I have my 6 skids and the love of a lifetime masha Allah AND I've made Hijrah. 


Funny how Allah answered our du'as - we both love children and we both have been blessed with some even though we didn't get them from each other.


Having my skids has completely halted my biological time bomb. Now if only my hair would grow back after the Clomid!


So after 11 years of hell we are both fulfilled and happy, alhamdililah. Allah always answers our prayers even if it is in the most unexpected way!


C


----------



## Guest

Sister C - your story is inspirational! Sometimes we think that we will never be happy, but Allah shows us the pure beauty of this religion, with the hard times come with good times


----------



## Hijabi

Salam all,

I'm new to this site. Not really talking to family and friends about our situation as there is already so much pressure. My in laws keep pestering me about why don't i go to the doctors and get checked out etc. I don't want them to know as it will soon spread everywhere.
We have been married for 18 months and Been TTC for 7 months. I went to the GP last month to have a blood test, as my Iron levels and Thyroid levels are low. I mentioned to the GP that we are TTC and asked if she could check if I am ovulating. She was reluctant as said we need to try for 1 year before any tests, but agreed.

Sadly, on Eid day she rang to say my Progesterone is at 13 when it should be 30.
Very disappointed and GP advised to do another blood test which is next week.
Feel so low and down. Inshallah hoping that the levels will go up, but I have a bad feeling...

I have been feeling really low, but trying to be brave for my Husband who is Mashallah very supportive. I have Faith in Allah swt and need to stay strong in my belief, but just feel lost and out of control atm...

Please rmbr me in your duas.x


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum Hijabi
Welcome to the thread. I think we all understand the pressure of TTC, no matter how long you have been trying for it is difficult.. we are all here to support each us aa best as possible. Hopefully your blood tests will improve, did they recommend vitamins or medication for you to take to help with iron and thyroid? 
Your GP is right, they won't refer you to a specialist unless you have been trying for a year at least. While you wait you can startttaking folic acid and manage diet and exercise. For men, there's zinc and selenium vitamins (not sure of spelling) and also he smokes - t
He will need to stop...I think that's all u can recommend at the mo.

Pls let us know if have any more questions... Pls keep me in your duas...waiting for my biopsy results and then maybe I can start my final.treatment in 2014!! Insha'Allah


----------



## Hijabi

W'salam sophie and thank you for your reply.
I am already taking Thyroxine and Ferous Sulphate for low iron and throid issues- so will continue these.
I started off taking vitamins etc, but just fed up with taking all these pills so I have stopped. 
I am seeing GP next Wednesday, if my progestrone levels are still low, and I need to be referred, I will ask her to refer me now, as there is an 18 week wait here. So by the time I get a hospital appointment we will have been trying over a year.

Inshallah I hope your biopsy results are as you expect and that you can start your treatment. May Allah swt give us all sabr in this difficult time.  Have you been TTC for a long time. Are your husband and family supportive?

I know they say Allah tests those he loves, but as humans it's hard to keep smiling when you are hurting inside. I feel worse for my husband and in laws who are so good to me, and I feel like I am letting them down by not being able to have a child. I understanfd its not in my control, but seem to have bad days when it really gets to me. Also, social events just feel like suicide as the constant nagging from others about why arn't we having kids really gets to me. 

I'm trying to keep focused on the deen and concentrate on all the blessings Allah swt has bestowed upon us, and it gives me hope. Inshallah if and when Allah wills it, we will be blessed. xxx


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum hijabi
Hopefully the test results will be ok insha'Allah. Hopefully the GP will refer you too, thats quite a long waiting time!
I have been trying for about 5 years, married 6 years mashaAllah. I referred to local the gynae first then was referred to fertility specialist in 2011.  I have already had 2 IVF's which were unsucessful - and now waiting for my final go. 

Infertility is hard, people always seem to ask - when when when!! All my friends and family have 2/3 children, being the only childless person in the family is a lonely place to be. Truely these people do not understand the pain and pressure this test brings, and then some  people will upset you with insentive comments. I just pray that Allah gives me sabr and stop me going into despair - because you get in that place its difficult to come back


----------



## Rania82

Salams

I pray your journey Hijabi is a quick fix and it will not drag out too long. I know it is hard taking the vitamins just keep on them and InshAllah your journey does not drag out for years. Eid events it is very hard.  My siblings have babies and new borns and I feel so broken sat with them all. My sister got married in summer and i was SHOCKED the amount of people young and old who told me 'You better hurry up and have a baby or your sister will beat you"   WHEN was it a race? We have been trying for almost 6 years 4 Failed IVFS that we paid for and a v v broken heart   EVERYWHERE WE GO.. My brothers wife just had a baby and she said "next time i see you have a surprise for us" it is just not that easy!! I have been to the best doctors! spent over £55,000 in our savings!! some times i just want to STOP this fighting it is tiring and it kills me on a daily basis! than when i see babies around me i just want to keep going.. but it is a very very lonely 6 years and the tears just dont stop streaming   

Sophie- Hope you get the break you need also   there has to be a reason is has not happened just yet.
Inshallah Allah blesses us sooon..


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam,

I'm vin the same boat. Married for 4 years and ttc for 4 since we knew about the male factor. Along the way, after a mc and 2 chemicals,  we learnt that we have hla matches. Im now in 2ww that ends on nov 11. I transferred 2 cgh normal embryos and I'm being treated with neupogen,  but I dont have a lot of hope since hpt difnt show strong line as of today. Digital hpt showed+ but I rhink it is another chemical on the way.
And just as others, among all the family members,  we are the only ones without the kids.the husband was very supportive,  but it is becoming more and more difficult for him. I don't have to mention  jow much pressure it puts on me esp because where all these failures could lead us.


----------



## flower88

Asalamwalaykum sisters
how r u all?  hope ur doing well 
i came across this thread and thought i should reply and tell you abit about myself.
i am 24 been married for 5 years masha Allah. we have managed to conceive 3 times naturally but they were all
miscarriages obviously i was devastated but we believe Allah knows whats best for us and if we are meant to have 
kids it will happen for us one day. 
after going to the docs and doing various tests at the hospital we were referred to a reproductive centre for ivf. it was official test day on 28th oct and i got a positive alhamdulilah . i am now 6 weeks and 4 days praying to Allah swt to protect me and my baby in sha Allah 
and prevent me from having a miscarriage. 
i have my seven wk scan on weds to make sure all is going well so praying that it is and i know how it is to have pressure from family and people around you seem to fall pregnant without any worry . but we must remember Allah knows what is best for us and when . maybe he has something better in store for us down the line and Allah tests us all in different ways.

may Allah SWT bless us all with beautiful and healthy and pious children ameen x


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

@flower88
What was your diagnosis and treatment?  
Congratulations and inshallah the rest will go uneventful.


----------



## Hijabi

Salam all,

Mashallah, even though it is sad so many of us sisters are in this state, it is good to know you are not alone. Allhumdulliah may Allay swt give us all sabr and grant us with the blessing of children.

Flower 88 thank you for sharing your story with us. Congratulations, inshallah your pregnancy with be healthy. It is really nice to hear some happy endings as sometimes forums like these do end up becoming negative as only the sad stories get here.

Cosmo, sorry to hear about your situation. I do dua that it's not a chemical and that Allah swt grants you with a healthy child. Mashallah it is good our husbands are supportive. My worry is always about his mother or the rest of the family adding pressure to him. Thankfully it's usually the women who gets the comments and remarks, (well thats the case for me anyway) where as the man doesn't, so it's easier for them to deal with it i guess. 

Rania thanks for your message and kind words. They really do help. It's good to have sisters on here to talk to. As I have not mentioned my situation to anyone as yet. Don't feel like telling hubby how i feel as he worries too then. Inshallah I have had 21 day bloods today, so will see what the GP has to say on Wednesday. Please do dua for me. I know what you mean about pressure. Plus I think when girls younger, or newly married start to have kids, you end up putting pressure on yourself! But your right with the vitamins, I will restart taking them. Thank you...this is exactly the prompt I needed.

Sophie, any news on your biopsy? Inshallah I hope it came back ok.

xxx


----------



## Guest

No news yet I have to wait for my follow up in December Insha'Allah, no news is goods hopefully!!


----------



## -FaithInGod-

salams 

I dont post much, and log in rarely.... most of time when im feeling down 
I echo all your feelings... im also going crazy facing everyones question as to why hubby n i dont have kids yet. I just dont get it, why do they make it look like its our fault ?!?! or like its in our control.... having babies is not like going shopping and coming back with a baby !!! This so called friend of mine had the guts to tell me its my fault , and that i ave not planned my life well ? I hate the way these people just assume things and give out their opinions. 
Ive tried many approaches on answering their questions..  "please pray for us" , " "we are not ready yet" " financial issues" "health issues" and this one i feel relly bad about... " we dont want a child"  All this stress and scrutiny tests after tests..... i end up trying to convince myself its better we dont have kids    Am i losing it ??  My friends go on about how difficult and busy their day has been running after their kids and all.... and i end up thinking "wish i was that busy" and other times " atleast i dont have to bear with screaming kids" 
Is it wrong to be thinking like this  As long as i can remember i have always wanted kids.........but as time passes its getting harder and harder.


----------



## Roygbiv

As salami Alaikum Sisters. 

I have been on fertility friends for a while. But haven't used it in some months. 
Just thought I'd get back to it. 

Inshallah you are all well. 
Just thought it would be nice to have some women going through the same thing as me (complete wrong wording; it certainly isn't nice, and I make dua all of us aren't in this position for much longer, but hopefully you got what I meant). Particularly Muslim ones, as this is a big factor in the whole thing.


----------



## mamali

FaithinGod don't let judgemental people like that bring you down. Its non of their business why you still don't have kids, I know what you are going through cos i've been there too. Have faith in Allah that He will provide for you when He deems fit. Am so sorry you are going through this, infertility can make you think of so many things, just try to remember that Allah knows whats best for you.


----------



## Rania82

I find my Muslim friends to be the most blunt and ignorant about the whole issue!   Sometimes i question where they are coming from?? I tend to let the older peoples comment slip and try not to let it get to me, As in 6 years of marriage they would have had 6 babies by now! so they think i am on the pill and get into a lecture about how bad it is for me. (NEVER IN 6 YEARS HAVE I USED ANY FORM OF CONTRACEPTION NEVER WILL I TELL THEM) 


i have also been told "marriage is not just about you two it is about having a family and not living a selfish life " I KNOW IT IS!! BUT THE NATURAL WAY ISNT EASY AS THE MUSLIM COMMUNITY MAKE OUT, AND INFERTILITY IS SUCH A TABOO, AND LIKE ONE OF YOU MENTIONED IT IS THE WOMEN THAT GETS THE BLAME!    I am sick to death of women who fall pregnant within the first 3 months of marriage and with a smug start asking about other issues? I dont want someone telling me when to sleep with my husband! which position! what nuts and honey i should be consuming.. MANY OF US HAVE REAL ISSUES and If everything was ok i would have had many babies by now!! but we have a MEDICAL issue and I will not tell anyone else that. I get so so angry when "have you been to the doctors? maybe you need to gain some weight?" AGAIN ALHAMDUILLAH I AM PERFECTLY FINE, HUSBAND HAS SEVERE LOW COUNT FIRST FEW WAS ZERO SPERMS       It kills me inside,, SOMETIMES I WISH IT WAS ME THAT HAD THE ISSUE AND NOT HIM!! Its broken his spirit so badly. I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH and if it means no babies so be it.. WHAT CAN I DO? 4 FAILED IVFS I DONT WANT A 5TH ONE i cant put myself through all that again.. increases ovary cancer breast cancer and for what??! THERES NO GUARANTEE  

One friend had a baby not long ago I congratulated her via wats app and in passing I asked her Who does he look like yourself or your husband? her response "Sorry I would rather not send you a picture as theres alot of weird things out there" I DELETED HER IN AN INSTANT!! Why do people assume that if someone does not have a baby they will harm a baby by looking at a pic?? jinx a baby?? I mean again it is just the in the muslim culture!! I always say Mshallah when a new baby is born! when i hold a new baby NO MATTER HOW MESSED UP IN MY HEAD I AM ABOUT THIS MESS! NEVER WILL I WISH BAD ABOUT A BABY... Women must think "ohh shes not been blessed with a baby better keep her away from mine..."

I have heard "maybe Allah is not happy with the marriage thats why people dont have kids" ALHAMDUILAH i can not be happier in my marriage!! I am sick to death of peoples comments. I feel like that try and squeeze it out of me some kind of information!!

I tend to use the same reasons as I can be a stubborn and it is NO ONES business to know were struggling like nothing else the world! and it haunts me hour by hour!   I tend to say "Babies! I have all my life to be a mom enjoying the single life" "I can hardly look after myself! InshAllah next few years but not now" I try my best to laugh it off and show strength but deep down i am breaking! Even when anyone asks me how long have i been married for? I say 3 years now as when i say 6 years YOU CAN IMAGINE  

What scares me to death is i dont have a back up plan NOTHING   I suffer from severe panic attacks  since my first IVF, and when i step foot into any hospital i start hyperventilating, ALL THE BLOOD TESTS, INJECTIONS, SCANS, THE LET DOWN, FRUSTRATION, THE WHOLE SMELL OF THE CLINICS TAKES ME TOO A VERY DARK PLACE, the FALSE HOPE THEY GAVE AND WHEN IT IS A NO THEY HAPPILY TAKE THE £10K+++ AND NOT ONE FOLLOW UP CALL!! WHEN I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING FOR DAYS AFTER THE NEGATIVE NOTHING AT ALL!!?? NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT ANYONES JOURNEY, IN TEH DOCTORS EYES WERE JUST A FILE NUMBER! SEEN A FEW PROFESSIONAL ONES AND ALL THE SAME!! IT IS A MONEY MAKING WORLD   WE EVEN HAD PGD DONE they took a cell out of my potential baby, put back in the PREFECT BABY IN THE PERFECT WOMB AND STILL NOTHING AT ALL        SUBHANALAH theres nothing else the doctors can do!! so it is ALLAHS WILL.

Sorry ladies for the rant!       my period came this afternoon i am having severe cramps and just feeling so so depressed about it all.   

I really lost all hope of me being pregnant... i just wish i can be that miracle story.. time is passing by way toooo fast that scares me the most


----------



## flower88

SALAAM SISTERS,
hope ur all well 
cosmo - our diagnosis was male factor and the treatment used was icsi
alhamdulilah it worked for us first time its been a long five years of trying for a baby and i had three
miscarriages. but Allah knows what is best for us and when. 

i pray to the almighty Allah for all u sisters that Allah grant u all pious children ameen 
and another thing is to block out comments made by ppl be it family/ friends they reduce u to tears and make u feel 
bad and at fault when this is all decided by Allah SWT and he tests his creation in different ways. make dua and insha Allah it will be answered .


----------



## flower88

-If the wife does not give birth to a child within reasonable time both the husband and wife should recite surah al Fajr (chapter 89) 3 or 7 times a day

-Recite surah al Muzzammil (chapter 73) 11 times and every time blow breath through the palm of the right hand on some white sugar and give it to the wife to eat, if there is no birth of a child within reasonable time, and it is feared that she is incapable of producing children OR The wife should fast and at the time of breaking the fast should drink a glass of milk on which surah al Muzzammil ahs been recited 77 times as described above.

DU-A'A 221 If there is no birth of a child within reasonable time recite the following portion of verse 89 of Sura Anbiya 3 times after every obligatory salat.

O my Lord, do not leave me alone (childless), though You are the best of inheritors.

RABBI LAA TAD'ARNEE FARDAW WA ANTA KHAYRUL WAARITHEEN
  

DU-A'A 222  If there is no both of a child for a very long period recite the following portion of verse 38 of Ali Imran as many times as possible.

O Lord, bestow on me a goodly offspring from You; verily, You are the hearer of prayer.

RABBI HAB LEE MIL LADUNKA D'URRIYYATAN T'AYYIBAH INNAKA SAMEE-U'D DU-A'AA
  

DU-A'A 223  If there is no birth of a child for a very long time the husband should pray a 2 rakat salat after Jummu-ah prayers and in rukus and sajdahs (of both the rakats) recite the following prayer.

O my Allah, I beseech You in the name of that which Zakariyyaa referred to: O Lord, do not leave me alone (childless), though You are the best of inheritors. O my Allah, bestow on me a goodly offspring from You; verily, You are the hearer of prayers. O my Allah, in Your name I have lawfully taken her (as my wife) and I have appropriated and treated her (as) Your bounty entrusted to me, so if You decide to put a child in her womb, please make (this child) submissive, blessed, intelligent and do not let Shaytan be one of the two therein and let him not plant (himself with the child).



ALLAAHUMMA INNEE AS-ALUKA BIMAA SA-ALAKA BIHEE ZAKARIYYAA RABBI LAA TAD'ARNEE FARDAW WA ANTA KHAYRUL WAARITHEEN ALLAAHUMMA HAB LEE MIL LADUNKA D'URRIYYATAN T'AYYIBAH INNAKA SAMEE - U'D DU-A'AA ALLAAHUMMA BISMIKA ISTAH'LALTUHAA WA FEE AMAANATIKA AKHAD'TUHAA FA-IN QAZ'AYTA FEE RAH'IMIHAA WALADAN FAJ-A'LHOO GHULAAMAN MUBAKARAN D'AKIYAAN WA LAA TAJ-A'L LISH SHAYT'AANI FEEHI SHIRKAN WA LAA NAS'EEBAA
  

DU-A'A 224 Carry out the following a'mal taught by Imam Muhammad bin Ali al Baqir to have a child.

Glory be to Allah. (70 times)

I seek forgiveness from Allah. (10 times)

Glory be to Allah. (9 times)

SUBH'AANALLAAH

ASTAGHFIRULLAAH

SUBH'AANALLAAH
  



Seek forgiveness of your Lord. Verily He is ever most forgiving.

He will send you abundant rain from the heaven.

And will help you with wealth and sons, and will make for you gardens, and will make for you rivers.

ASTAGHFIROO RABBAKUM INNAHOO KAANA GHAFFAARAA

YURSILIS SAMAAA - A A'LAYKUM MIDRAARAA

WA YUMDIDKUM BI-AMWAALIW WA BANEENA WA YAJ-A'L LAKUM JANNATIW WA YAJ-A'L LAKUM ANHAARAA
  

DU-A'A 225  If there is no birth of a child for a long time take two boiled eggs (chicken) take off the cover and write with saffron verse 47 of adh Dhariyat on one egg and give to the wife to eat; then write with saffron verse 48 of ad Dhariyat on the other egg and give it to the husband to eat. Do this for 40 consecutive days.

We built the heavens with might, and verily We are the Lord of power and expanse.

We spread the earth (like a carpet) – an excellent spreader (We are).

WA SAMAAA-A BAYNANAAHA BI-AYDIW WA INNAA LAMOOSI-O'ON

WAL ARZ'A FARSHNAAHA FANI-MAL MAAHIDOON
  

DU-A'A 226  If it appears that the wife is incapable of producing a child write the following verses (Al Muminun: 12, 13, 14) on 7 leaves of sweet basil (an aromatic labiate plant) separately, and give one leaf a day to the wife to eat with a glass of cow's milk each time.

Verily We created man from an extract of clay. Then We made him of a sperm, in a firm resting place; Then We made the sperm into a clot, then We made the clot into a lump of flesh, then We made in the lump of flesh bones, then We clothed the bones with flesh; thereafter We caused it to grow into another creation; so blessed be Allah, the best of creators.

WA LAQAD KHALAQNAL INSAANA MIN SULAALATIM MIN T'EEN THUMMA JA-A'LNAAHU NUT'FATAN FEE QARAARIM MAKEEN THUMMA KHALAQNAN NUT'FATA A'LAQATAN FAKHALAQNAL A'LAQATA MUZ'GHATAN FAKHALAQNAL MUZ'GHATA I'ZAAMAN FAKASAWNAL I'Z'AAMA LAH'MAA THUMMA ANSHAANAAHU KHALQAN AAKHAR FATABAARAKALLAAHU AH'SANUL KHAALIQEEN
  

DU-A'A 227  If it appears that the wife is incapable of producing a child, write the following portion of verse 31 of ar Rad with saffron and rose water on the hide of a deer, and the wife should wear it as a ta'wid around her neck.

And if there were a Quran with which the mountains were moved, or the earth cloven asunder, or the dead were made to speak (the disputants would not believe). Nay, but truly the command belongs to Allah altogether.

WA LAW ANNA QURAANAN SUYYIRAT BIHAL JIBAALU AW QUT'TI - A'T BIHIL ARZ'U AW KULLIMA BIHIL MAWTAA BAL LILLAAHIL AMRU JAMEE - A'A
  

DU-A'A 228  It it appears that the wife is incapable of producing child, recite the following dua'a on 11 almonds separately and give them to the wife to eat one a day for 11 consecutive days.

O my Allah, You witness and I am observed. So who takes care of the observed save He who witnesses, O Lord?

ALLAAHUMMA ANTASH SHAHEEDU WA ANAL MASHHOODU FAMAN YAD-U'L MASHHOODU ILLASH SHAHEEDU YAA RABB
  

DU-A'A 229 If there is no birth of a child within reasonable time, pray a two rakat salat and after that write the following verses (Ali Imran: 38 and Furqan: 74) with saffron on two separate sheets of paper and tie one of them as ta'wid on the right arm of the wife and tie other on the right arm of the husband.

O Lord, bestow on me a goodly offspring from You; verily, You are the hearer of prayer.

And those who say: O Our Lord, grant us out of our wives and our offspring that which cheers our eyes, and make us Imams of those who safeguard themselves against evil.

(i) Ali Imran : 38 - RABBI HAB LEE MIL LADUNKA D'URRIYYATAN T'AAIBAH INNKA SAMEE-U'D DU-A'AA

(ii) Furqan : 74 - WALLAD'EENA YAQOOLOONA RABBANAA HAB LANAA MIN AZWAAJINAA WA D'URRIYAATINAA QURRAATA A'YUNIW WAJ-A;LNAA LIL MUTTAQEENA IMAAMAA
  

DU-A'A 230  If there is no birth of a child within a reasonable time, fast for there three consecutive days and recite verse 74 of Furqan (see du-a'a 229(ii) 21 times before going to sleep.

DU-A'A 231 If it appears that the wife is incapable of producing a child write the following (Arabic text) as directed on a sheet of paper and bind it as a tawid on the right arm of the wife.

HUWA - 9 times,

ALLAAHU - 9 times,

H'AYY - 9 times,

QAYYOOM - 9 times

Send blessings on Muhammad and on the children of Muhammad.

WA S'ALLALLAAHU A'LAA MUHAMMADIN WA AALI MUH'AMMAD


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salam ladies, 

I'm dedicating this post to all of you,  esp Rania. 

If you tried all, icsi, pgd and still nothing, I recommend you to do the immune issue panel that involces hla matches. Also insuline resistance check-up. There is an excellent American Dr Jeffrey Braverman.  Find him through the goohle. You can have a consultation over the skype.  Plus he does work with the UK doctors. I'm sure he could discover what's behind those failures. I know many successful cases with him.
Regarding the spiritual side, I am sure you know, but no harm to repeat:
1. Du'a 40 times while on sajdah (I do it in one sajdah):ربي لا تذرني فردا و أنت خير الوارثين
I had a video by Saudi sheikh about this. I will try to find it and post it.
2. Sadaqah with niyyah to conceive and deliver: even if it is a box of candies  for a child or the simpliest possible thing. Dont lose it. Have niyyah
3. Read surah al baqarah evety day. Then blow 3 times over the bottle of water. Both of you drink from it.
4. Whenever and whatever you do, even while walking to the supermarket or cooking, keep making du'a edp at times when du'a is accepted. 
5. Istighfar-all the time! It increases rizq.

Inshallah khayr.

And if those people tell you that children do not come because the marriage is not good, mention them Aisha r.a. and in surah al kahf a verse that sons and money are decorations of dunyah but what comes after is better. You will shut their mouth with this. Wa subhanallah...what is with God, it's not far away.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Rania82

Jasak Allah Khayer Ladies for your kind words and advice  

Cosmo- Thank you for that link x I have been reading that Dua in Sajood I was told 3 times ? Also Myriam after Magrib but before Isha. I have gallons of zam Zam that I pray on. We have spoken to an imam (Who says Allahs will and keep asking). Alhamduillah we have performed Umrah every year since marriage and prayed so hard at Kabas walls  . My husband MA is helping many charities worldwide ( I do not want to go into depth, as your left hand should not know what the right hand is giving. Alhamduilah he is very generous and gives on behalf of us).

I guess my faith is slipping after so much disappointment after doing everything islamically, and my husband taking and doing every doctors tell him, NOTHING at all to show   I was told by a women in Makkah to grind blackseeds, mustard seed, cloves, black pepper, wal nuts, almonds, pistachio, a few other stuff mix it all and take it with honey. We tried this and the taste was not very pleasant but still nothing   we have done and read EVERYTHING that people tell us to do, and we have prayed so so hard  yet not even a whiff.

Cosmo we did the HLA Typing test for any similarities they sent that to Chicago, there really is not a stone left unturned with ALL the blood tests we have had. (that is where a lot of our money has gone and some of the tests cost us over £2000) Also a Biopsy of my Utreus so see if i have Natural Killer cells? Alhamduilah nothing there... I had scraping done of the Uterus while i was awake! SUBHANALAH that one made me cry (they said it makes it stickier for the embryo) There is a clinic in Colorado Dr Schoolcraft is suppose to me very good we worked out the maths it will cost us over £30,000 as they want to repeat all the blood tests and biopsy and i will need to spend a moth out there, It is alot to take in. What ever doctors tell us we agree. I feel my body has been so abused internally and just nothing to show for it. Everywhere i look people get to be pregnant without spending £1 without stressing, it just happens. It is the hand we have been given and we just need to get on with it.. December next month and another year has passed  

Roy- sorry about your journey. I must admit 6 years ago when my friends were married i use to say "hurry up and give us a cute baby to spoil" and MA I never met anyone who had issues.. I was so dumb i use to think it was so easy to fall pregnant EVERYONE has a baby!   in Biology an egg drops theres millions of sperms and it HAS TO HAPPEN.. Than when it was a issue ok theres something CALLED IVF that works for everyone, than when that let me down four times It took my breath away     I went to the drs when i was 25 "dont worry your young many years ahead of you will be ok!" I am 31 now and 10000 steps backwards.

I try and not think about it and hopefully it will just happen   Deep down who am i fooling! i should be out there asking for a 5th IVF and so on and so forth. I go on the IVF forums and see women a day after a failed IVF booked in for the next running to one clinic to the next. i feel guilty that should be me more active. At the moment I am exhausted and in 2010 & 2011 i was so strong even 10 IVFS! i will be a mom!! I hate say it but sometimes i think infertility has won, I do not have that passion to call doctors and its the same drill.. Maybe 2014 i will think about seeing another doctor.

It is damaging to the heart and soul.. and when i see everyone in my family at the weekend one pregnant, two with small babies than theres me sat there   or when i hold a baby "aww you will make a great mom hurry up so they all go school together" 

sometimes i wish my family knew our journey... they are so clueless and think it is me not wanting them yet... i promised my husband it is our problem and i dont think anyone really cares about anyones life no more. This world has turned into a selfish place.

Thank you ladies inshAllah want to get closer to Allah again and hope for the best.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Should be 40 times on sajdah.
I would advise you to contact dr. Braverman.  Read abot him and decide. You can ask him questions on his website. Pray istikhara.


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum

completely understand how you all feel, for me I feel that my heart has harden due to the stress of the treatment and life in general - infertility is always there in the back on your mind, niggling away at you! 

Ive got one last cycle left and to be honest I already think its not going to work . im just preparing for another failure


----------



## Rania82

Thank you Cosmo I read up about him. I feel with all clinics they look super shiney on their websites, they all seem to know what they are talking about. My last ICSI we were the 2nd couple trying this new method and OF COURSE the first ones were successful.. The way the Dr spoke to us as this was the winner EVERYTHING was 100% ready for the Embryo was connected to a drip for hours while they pumped me with Soya. Deep down I thought this is going to end well.. than a -3HCG knocked me for 6. No explanation nothing "its a luck game come on your next cycle"

I am the only one that has the biggest migraine ever when i start googling IVF? Miracle pregnancy? I feel it is such a depressing place to be. Also my relationship with my husband is none existent i am NEVER EVER in the mood, the thought of intimacy i start to cry. Irony is thats the only way to have a "chance" of pregnancy. I have zero drive. Alhamduilah my husband is so sweet no means no and he will happily carry on and NEVER make me feel guilty. 

I have googled also what i can do to "get me in the mood" and theres nothing really. I also feel maybe because it can NOT just happen naturally we need the PreSeed gel. Through out our 6 years of marriage We have NEVER been intimate without using gel   Physically it is impossible. I get so frustrated at times it is just hitting a brick wall Sometimes it is so dry i start to bleed slightly   I had my estrogen tested and there is no issue there. I guess it is a mental block. I often wonder am i the only one in the world that has to "prepare" before we actually do anything??! i think not having that spontaneity ruins the mood for everyone. Again i guess infertility does mess up the mind and body. I feel my body has let me down in so many ways   Doing something "natural" is so frustrating and painful! failing many IVFS! I have seen therapists "have a glass of wine" I guess no one gets it  

Spoke to my neighbour this morning, MA she told me she got pregnant on her wedding night 4 years back and is struggling to fall pregnant again. I had zero sympathy for her, I told her be grateful she has a healthy girl. There she is getting herself worked up about trying to expand her family and here I am thinking of ways to start my family   EVERY ONE feels their problems are worse than others I guess.

Have you ladies told your families that you are having issues as such? my dad is old and bless him will say "look at your siblings look at you, next time i see you have a baby for me to play with" breaks my heart as i do not know what to say        

I need to shake of this thick black cloud its suffocating me  

sophie try and be positive ia xx this is the one xx


----------



## Rania82

Thank you Roy for your lovely message x My husband also made a similar comment 

"Look at the people around us who have babies they are divorced, very unhappy or the child is not looked after very well as they have many"

Than theres women like ourselves that have so much love to give, in great marriages very stable and READY to be called "mom" Oh how i will die for a child to call me mommy   My friend is my age we studied together and MashAllah she has 5 Children and she is so fertile one will be born, the child is NOT even a few months and she is smiling at me saying she is expecting again and again. Having said that when i do visit her it is a mad house 5 children under 6 lots of noise and chaos. I secretly sit there and think "Allah i wish you blessed me with just the one" yet my friend who told me she fell pregnant by doing it just the once and thought she was "safe" I guess life can be confusing indeed. This was the friend that told me "wash your hair after your period and sleep with him" you will definitely be pregnant   REALLY?! some people will never get it. Hence I do not see her much these days. As the way she talks to me as if i do not want a baby? I want to keep my size 8 waist? i want to keep my white sofas? she talks to me like I am too selfish to be a mom   Better to walk away from people like that I guess.

Roy you mentioned it was not nice that I did not have sympathy for a neighbour that was telling me she is "upset stressed that baby 2 is taking a while to make" I still do not have sympathy. The whole process has destroyed my heart and soul and killed my heart along the way. I have not had a child for almost 6 years yet here she is telling me how sad it is not to have another child for her to play with? that people keep asking her number 2? If she was not ignorant she would not have gone on and on   as the lady she is telling all this information was NOT blessed to be a mom on the wedding night, may never be blessed to be a mom   The ONLY women i have sympathy in this moment of time are the ones that DO NOT have a baby, who have not been blessed to be a "mom" who has never experienced a bump.. husband making a fuss about her.. She should be saying ALHAMDUILAH i did get all this and theres millions of women who have not and never will   My dream was 4 Babies 2 boys 2 girls Subhanallah that was MY DREAM   NOW Alhamduillah what ever i get I am done be it one boy or one girl. That is the best GIFT from Allah and I will savour it and enjoy. I CAN NOT let myself go through all this crap again! i am literally skin and bones the stress has killed me while i am still living... after everything i have been through no matter how enticing it maybe be i will forever thankful to be in the "mommy category". 

The reason we did 4 medicated IVFS was not too have lots of babies, it was trying to make ONE baby anything more would have been beautiful. We did it to increase our chances of making more embryos and weeding out the weaker ones. I do feel it is a little rude and ignorant of you saying "if you just want one child use a natural IVF as one egg is used" BUT what are the chances of success using just one egg? Imagine that egg did not fertilise? ALL that pain and money for what? What MOST women do is try and stimulate as many as they can hoping to get 5-10 eggs and thats when the doctors can see which is the best to put back in?? SubhaAllah I have had 12 Embryos put back in me, that is 12 Potential babies and not even a slight vapour of pregnancy nothing    If my IVF worked in April my due date would be in 2 weeks how different it could have all bee     



Anyway this is my view and i am sure many women who never have been blessed to be a mom find it very very hard to sympathise with someone who is struggling to have the 2nd 3rd or 4th!. You even mentioned a women with no babies or 10 children infertility is the same and "wanting to be a mom" is still there   Again very strange to say that?  ( One lady on a islamic website has a son a daughter MA and the 3rd one is taking time and is thinking of way to donate her eggs to get a discounted IVF   she is also a muslim, I thought to myself MA a boy and girl she should be floating with happiness!! and the fact she will go through an IVF and give her eggs which we all know is forbidden! EVERY MOMS NEED to know they are blessed)

Roy if you do not mind me asking are you already a mother? is this secondary infertility you are battling with? the reason I ask is that a women that has a child and a women that does NOT have a child, NO ONE can even place us in the same category. A women who has had a baby has used the womb Allah swt blessed a women with created a baby, felt the kicks, enjoyed the scans! had birthday parties! she is a mom! when anyone ask her if she has children she can smile and look straight in their eyes and say yes! "Alhamduila i have"  (Not like me where i feel sweaty dizzy and just broken  ) The women that NEVER experienced pregnancy feels worthless! less of a women! angry! wasted periods! I can go on and on. We can agree to disagree thats my view on that. I am sure women on here that have NEVER been a mom yet can relate to what I am saying.

I guess regarding to sleeping with my husband you are correct it is a mental block. I have always linked sex and baby making together. I guess knowing theres no sperms are there it makes me think what is the point of all this?? its tiring, its messy and mentally i am do not want to be doing it. Maybe I am suffering from mild depression I do not know  . My husband Ma will always book us for meals,  lavish holidays surprise me with beautiful gifts, MashAllah i can cry on how amazing and kind my husband is to me. I guess all this is moment of happiness. We go away try to enjoy it the best i can, this issue is ALWAYS there. He does his very best to take to me a "happier" place i think i am a nightmare to live with   I love him so much and breaks my heart when he says : if you were married to someone else you would be fulfilled by now and be a mom" I say to him i would rather be with him and childless than with an awful husband with 5 kids. Wish we can just have it both.

Sorry about your MC Roy inshallah your period comes fast and a less painful one.

I guess knowing that i should have had a baby before the year end hurts like crazy   cant believe how fast this year went. Inshallah heres hoping for a better 2014. I pray you get a great surprise Sophie this thread definitely needs some more bfps!! x


----------



## cookies81

Rania   we have spoke before I truly understand your pain I've been there but please please trust me when I say it will work out for the best we can't understand it now but we will , your hurting now your broken and you feel let down but ad long as you can still breathe there is hope one day hopefully in the near future your pain will be a memory and you'll have what is best for you inshAllah. I won't say relax try to forget or or or cause I know you can't I just want you to know when your crying in your pillow , under the shower in the car that there is hope there will always be hope   I've had a mc it's worst than the 5 yrs of IF to have the dream snatched from me after 3 ivfs was unbearable and I went on to have 2 more , I'm yet to experience carying a child I'm a mom now via adoption as u know and for me I understand why I had to wait it could only be my daughter I had to wait for cause she belongs with me. I'm not saying your path is adoption what I'm saying you will be rewarded for you patience in the best way inshAllah


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salam,

Rania, low count alone is not is not a big problem.  Did your husband do dna fragmentation?  Please do hla matching panel, cytokines, insuline resistance.  Have you ever done laporoscopy? Also cgh of your blastocysts should be done. 
لا يكلف الله نفساً الا وسعها


----------



## akhy

Salaam, 

This is the first time I've been on Muslim posters and Rania I can so relate to what you are saying.  I have been trying to have a baby for 8 years, had two icsi treatments through the NHS - last one was in April 2012.  Both times embryos didn't implant.  I have pcos and my husband has a low sperm count.  We've been told we could conceive naturally and this is all we have our hopes pinned on as we are not in a position to self fund treatment.  

I go through times where I feel ok but recently I've been so low.  I try to have faith but it is so hard when everyone seems to be having babies round you constantly.  My husband is also great and has always been positive and has said to have faith and hope and inshallah we will be blessed but it is a struggle.  I spend a lot of time in tears as I feel so alone with no one around me who understands.  My friend thinks struggling for 6 months till she had her daughter puts her in the same category and she made a flippant comment the other day saying if I really wanted a baby I would do anything to have one.  She doesn't realise how soul destroying it is to try and have a child for 8 years with no success. 

If anyone has any advice on what I should read to give me sabaar and keep positive then please let me know.  Anything to reduce the helplessness I'm feeling. 

Thanks


----------



## Hijabi

Salam all,

I haven't been on for a while. Went to the GP last month and she told me my progesterone is normal at 54, so perhaps last month we tested before day 21, so hence it was low. She has prescribed higher dose of Thyroxine, as she said that was a bit low. She advised me to come back if no pregnancy by Feb (it will be a yr of trying then)

I have avoided the site, as I have told myself the next 3 months I am going to have faith in Allah swt and be more positive about the whole process of getting pregnant. Inshallah, will take vitamins, eat healthy and use ovulation kits etc.

I wanted to thank the sisters for supporting me at a time when I felt so low and thought GP was going to say i cant have kids. However, I have read the recent posts, and mashallah a few positive thought came to me. Firstly Mashallah, how good are our husbands! alllhumdulliah we might be going through a hard time getting pregnant, but at least we have the best partners that one could ask for. If they weren't supportive then it would be so much harder! Second thing, and more important, the faith that us sisters have- subhanallah, if nothing else then the whole process of TTC is making us increase our imman and thaqwa. Mashallah!

Akhy, I know it's hard for you, I can't even comprehend....but do you have any one to talk to outside the forum? It's good to ave someone to offload onto every now and again. also, try and do zikr, read quran, increase islamic knowledge, for me, that increases my faith and sabr at testing times.

Inshallah you are all in my duas, may Allah swt give you sabr. Please rmbr me in your duas.


----------



## DreamTeam

Salams All,
Its been ages since I've been on here. I've been ok, throwing myself manically into oter things and really trying to distract myself from the elephant in the room. All of a sudden I feel so overwhelmed and broken. I don't know if this is what acceptance feels like but all I know is that I am no closer to suceeding at having our child. I feel so much pain at the moment and my attempts to compartmentalise are failing.   


I just don't know how to make myself feel better. I feel so stuck like I will never move on from where I am right now.


Snowbelle


----------



## Guest

wa alaykum salaam snowbelle
its nice to hear from you! Sister you are not alone in this, I think we are all still grieving everyday, living with infertility it is extremely hard!! There are times we distract ourselves as much as we can, but there are days when its there..that pain in your heart, the yearning for something more. 
Acceptance is hard - its not going to happen overnight, believe me - Ive tried to forget and move on. I cant!  I dont have any great advice. Ive just thrown myself  into work and household duties-sad I know!  
Pm me if you want to talk more


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

http://safeshare.tv/w/wZEmEMiqmP

This is another video by one of the shoyookh on how to get pregnant. Listen carefully.

This post contains an unconfirmed link/information and readers are reminded that 
fertilityfriends.co.uk or its owners are not responsible for the content of external internet sites


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum hope everyone is ok insha'Allah
had my appointment this week and there are no more abnormal cells in my womb alhumduillah.


----------



## ayah

As-salam al-akoum sisters
I am completly new to this site, or any network site!  Reading your messages is  heart renching,  comforting and fills me with humility.  I can feel a failour in faith when i grieve for not being able, so far inshallah, to give my son a sibling he wants so so much.  He once asked if Allah does not like us as he had not given us a baby.   
It can be hard to balance hope in the mercey of Allah, and that He does listen to and answer our dua, with contentment in His will if He has chosen not to bless us with children of our own.  I find it hard to make the decision to move on or have more tx.


----------



## Rania82

Salams Ladies,

Thats great news Sophia that you have no abnormal cells Inshallah upwards and onwards x

Ayah you have been blessed "if he has chosen not to bless us with children of our own" you have a beautiful son and say alhamduilah for what you have. Most of the muslimahs on here have not tasted motherhood and i find it very hard to relate to anyone who is feeling sorry for themselves that they cant have a 2nd or 3rd or 4th.. YOU ARE A MOM Mashallah!

you have felt pregnancy made a child through the love of your marriage, why dont you adopt? you have a child your son can "play" with. Trust me your in a beautiful and blessed place.

By the will of Allah I would love to have a biological baby feel that bump growing in me than after i will adopt 2 inshallah. my husband and I have spoken alot about it. We would just love the one we creating and after that i will forever be thankful to Allah and adopt. There are SO many muslim kids out there that need love. At least you can look at your children and know you have had the best of both worlds. I am 31 very healthy and I am not there just yet but as I mentioned once I have been blessed with the ONE i am so done with this world of infertility.. Adopt and be at peace..

Cosmo- We have done ALL the things you mentioned HLA and sperm analysis etc, Sister You mentioned "low sperm isnt really a big thing" I do not think this is something you say to someone thats husband has literally nothing on each sample! and we have had 4 full failed cycles! that low sperm isnt a big thing, to US IT IS A VERY BIG THING! would you ever say to a women with no tubes, thats not a big thing? NO AS YOU KNOW IT WILL HURT! a lot of ignorant people think that if its a male issue its not a big thing?? IT IS as some women have bad or not many eggs! same with men very poor sperms and very low! i am sure if any muslim brothers are reading this will find your comment an insult! Dangerously LOW SPERM IS A VERY BIG THING, Once you have walked a mile in my shoes you will not make that comment again..

I wish everyone a successful journey, and i pray the people around you are supportive thats what we need.


----------



## Guest

Dear Sisters please can you remember me in your duas. Going through an extremely difficult time and can't explain at the moment xxxxx thank you all for your continuous support and duas ...xx


----------



## Rania82

I think the mothers on this board should be a little more understanding and sympathetic to the ones that are NOT mothers. I am sure on the "secondary" infertility boards there will be more understanding for people like yourself Roygbiv!

How dare you say that my lack of empathy is causing me a problem?! Another "backward" comment from yourself! and I am sure thats the kind of crap our society says! "if you pray for others>> if your a better muslim>>If you fast two days a week etc etc" who knows god will bless you??! 

it is from Allah alone! and no one can judge anyone why they are not parents yet! The same way I will never judge you why it has not happened second time round??! You dont know how hard I have prayed for others!or  Me as a person. Why does it bother you so much when I say that you are so blessed or any other Muslimah whos already a mom!!? I am saying it as others would say it MASHALLAH YOU ARE BLESSED TO ALREADY BE A MOM!! You only emphasise with people who are struggling second time round! I mentioned once that my neighbour knows I do not have children and was moaning and moaning to me its taken a few months longer to conceive, and as I WAS NOT SYMPATHETIC you were the first one to comment that what i said was not nice??!! (of course i did not say it to her face, theres fertility boards where you can chat to people and they "understand" NOT to judge and say that I am a bad and a nasty person!!)


I pray so so hard for women who are going through infertility and before i make dua for myself i say bless the muslim ummah who are struggling to become a MOM! My lips are moist with duas with every prayer i make! I am entitled for my opinion and maybe i can help someone who is in pain in agony in despair to think 

"you know what Alhamduilah I am blessed to be a mom and anything from this day forward is a bonus" you sometimes need to see it through the eyes on a childless women!! 

You are the one who should have empathy before you start making childish comments!   gosh some people I will never understand! you have the "real" world making snide comments than you have online? SubhanAllah! I pray your journey takes you to baby number 2 InshAllah. YOU just need to understand you are in a very good place, i guess with anything in life everyones problems and issues seems bigger and more painful than anyone else's! This is the world were living in.. One women said to me which i can NEVER forget "I have two boys i will die if its a 3rd boy, how my life would be perfect if i had a girl" I thought is she really having this conversation with me!? and YES she knows i had 4 failed IVFS it just shows the world we live is getting more selfish! more greedy! and more of a me me me culture! always know what you have is something that billions worldwide are praying for!!

Sophie stay strong and inshallah update us with some good news. i have been praying for you as i know you mentioned this will be your last go. IVF is not nice at all but surly worth it when its a positive!


----------



## Roygbiv

Yeah I said your lack of empathy may be causing you a problem. And I'll say it again. None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself. It seems you would not love for me, or Ayah, to fall pregnant as much as you would love it for yourself. So yes, that's a valid point. There's nothing backward about it. Countless ahadeeth make the point of being able to want for someone else, genuinely, non-begrudgingly, and it coming back to you. 

It doesn't bother me that you say I am blessed. I KNOW I am blessed. Al Hamdulilah. Mashallah. Your saying it is a bit annoying because it comes across as though you think I don't know that. I've never disputed that. And know I am. 
And I have MORE sympathy and empathy for those who don't have a child. I think it's incredibly sad that you don't have the love or experiences, etc that you spoke about (the bump growing, etc). So you completely misunderstood me. All I have ever said is that those with children don't automatically not deserve sympathy. 
I specifically didn't call you a bad person. Was just hoping to open your eyes to the fact that someone having a child doesn't stop them from hurting every period, every miscarriage, every whatever means they're not pregnant having a baby. 

Again you say it as though you are educating us that we should be grateful for our children. Are you serious?! All you know is that we want another (or some their 3rd, 6th, 10th). That has nothing to do with gratitude for the first. Seriously. You sound as though you think you are showing us to be grateful and appreciate our children. You actually think we don't?! I waited 6 years, loads of heartache, tonnes of work, things I didn't even know existed until I had to do them, for my daughter. You don't think I appreciate her?! 

I have been a childless woman. I have thought the things you have thought. Which is why I have never, ever said you're evil or bad. You just don't know. I'm sorry but you don't. You may think I don't know. But as I said I was married. Never used contraception from day one. And it didn't happen. I'd see people together a day and it happened. Then they're second. Third. On and on. People who didn't even want kids. So I've felt things you're feeling. I'm just saying, now, looking from the other side - finally - it's no easier once you have one. The ovulation watching, injections, whatever is all the same pain, anxiety, disappointment when it doesn't work. 
Yes, you look at your child, and you're filled with wonder and excitement and joy and everything positive you could imagine. Of course! 

I AM in a good place. A great place even. Al Hamdulilah. Stop thinking I don't know what I have. I know what I have. I thank Allah for it everyday day. But He is the most able. So He has no problems with me asking for more. He has the provisions and ability to fulfil it if He wishes. And if He doesn't wish then so be it.

And I am serious when I say I sympathise more with women who have no children. I think every woman "deserves" to have the experience of pregnancy. Inshallah. 
You've only been on your side. I've been both. I'm not saying women with fifty kids deserve sympathy like someone with none. I'm saying her infertility is infertility, you should feel for her with that. 
Also, maybe you should think once you have one, and have been through it you truly know the greatness that it is. So maybe it makes you want one even more. Until you know how deeply, unconditionally you can love someone you don't know. That's not necessarily what I think. But it's a consideration. 

As for Ayah, she clearly stated it was her first time on a forum. Posting. And you probably made her feel bad. When, she probably came here, seeing it was going to be sisters, thinking she'd get support. Instead she didn't.


----------



## Guest

Dear sisters please do not argue. We each have different trials, whether its getting pregnant or trying for a second. This is such a difficult situation for all of us to be in..We are human, we feel and we hurt, we fight for what we want on a daily basis. Noone understands us better...we should support each other us much as possible. Say Alhumduillah both of you that your spouses have stayed strong and supported you. 
I can't disclose much but I have no good news, maybe be single again is what was written for me.


----------



## ayah

Rania 82, your reply was like i'd been kicked hard in the gut.  I'm finding it heard to reply through mytears.  My grief at your comments to me are profond.  And your reply to a sister who offered me understanding, and you insite to another view, fill me with immense saddness.  I came to this feed as it was a muslim feed, but i cant say your comment supprissed me.  Having converted 16 years ago i continually find more good will from non muslims. I do not mean insult, it is just my sad expiernce.  I've been told i'm selfish for only having one.  That converts dont understand the importance of siblings.  That educated women put work before having children.  All by muslims, never non muslims.

In trying to find my place on this web site i have posted in several places.  Some where women have not yet been blessed, and they still have shown me  compassion.

I do not have secondary infertility.  I lost my first hub as i could not have children with him.  Then took years to have my son.  Have many tx.  During this time my over wellmng urg to have children as i had so longed for since childhood, was sofen with a deep set ease, of what ever Allah wills, when and if He wiils.  If i had not deeply wanted children i would not have put my self through the suffering of tx that i cope extremely badly with, and my husbabd gives me NO support for.  When i,m tired he calls me lazy,  says i.m putting it all on.

I feel so very very alone.  I had not expected to feel this way.  I was so blessed with my son, like uou  would not believe.  But it is not about me.  I am an adult.  If i v
Cannot have more, i have to accept and be greatful for each blessing i have.  But my son askes most days for a baby.  He keeps pictures of toys he wants to give it,.  He started to tell me he wanted to be a girl.  I was scared for him.  I asked why.  He told me  that then he could have a baby.!  Remembering this hurts me so so much.  It is not what i cant have.  It is what i cant give my son.  Itis the fear, that it is effecting how he sees Allah.  He thinks Allah hates him! How should i explain to him that He does not, but he does not give all what we ask for?

SOphie.  I too my be alone too.  We are close to divorce.  I am staying to try for a child and as my husband has told me he WILL take your son!  I pray that Allah gives you and all of us strength,  and patients to bear what he has decree for us.

Thank you Roygbiv for sticking up fpr me.  I feel so alone. I havre felt the pain  of childlessness, but did not expdct this pain.

Sisters, it is shaytan who divdes us.  Let it not be that i find m8re comfort in non-muslims.  This is not why i converted or why i came to my sisters for help.  Dont think i'll be coming back


----------



## ayah

Sisters, sorry but through my hurt at what had been said, i forgot to ask for gorgiveness for caursing hurt.  It was never my intension.  We ask Allah for forgiveness for what we did with intension and what we did without intension. For what we do knowing and what we have done and still know not what we have done wrong.  I ask that from all you to.  Islam is the most deautiful religion, but it only beautifys those who allow it to.  A sister told me there are 7 atributes that muslims must ask for, but that in doing so we will be greatly tested. Patients, compassion, humility are three and my tired mind cannot remember the others.

Oh and i do not feel sorry for myself.  R82, please for you consider what you said.  i feel that you think i do not believe that you have prayed hard enough or done enough.  When i was first trying, i took real joy in the  blessing of others. Even if i did not have a child, at least i could take comfort that others, had good husbands and children.  It was more than i had and so so much more than others, who had not even food or safety.  But it made me so happy to witness the joy of others.

I still do, but i feel weak in faith that i feel bad for noti being able to see my sons joy.  I  sincerly ask Allah that you  r82 may you be blessed with at least two healthy children, so you never feel what i do.  That your husband supports you, as mine does not.  Then i can take joy in your  joy.

As salam al akoum sisters, my Allah grant what is best for us, and make us content with it.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam,

Rania, you can't say or judge about my experience because I haven't disclosed it here. I will just tell you that I have been through 6 ivf, 14 retrievals within 4 years. My husband has a very low side of everything and most of the time,  I ended up with abnormal embryos. I still say that as long as a man has some good sperm, still there's hope and all those Muslim men out there should find this consoling and not insulting. Actually,  my husband didn't see it as a big issue because we knew ivf was a matter of repetition.  However,  when we discovered hla matches and he became aware of their effect, the problem started. I can't tell you how much I have suffered from this issue for the past 5 months. Thank God,  your husband seems to be a different type.for us, adoption is not even an option.  He would rather remarry. For him it's more important to have a child.
Knowing that everything comes from God,  I tried to take things peacefully.  I spent Ramadan in lots of prayer...I did things I haven't done before or in years. Then I went to that dr I keep telling you about and thank God, so far, so good. I'm taking it week by week and inshallah, God will fulfill our duas.
Therefore,  don't get angry when someone says something. Nobody walked in anyone's shoes. Justkeep your prayers, duas and sadaqah. And again go to dr. B and put yyour trust in God! I have seen other Arabs going to him. He isn't only a dr; he is a scientist as well and knows his job. But God before anything,  of course!


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam sisters
A lot of sisters on here but unfortunately not a lot of support! As a muslim I used to cum here a lot and I had a lot of help and support during my hard time! It's a page for Muslim sisters to offer support to each other not only for ladies with no children! 
Sadly our life experiences can turn us in to very bitter person but we must a still try to remember everyone has had or are having der share of own suffering! No ones suffering is less den the others! How many tears one has shed no one knows!
Plz everyone be considerate! If and one I cum on here I would expect to giv and get support from muslim sisters like before!
Ayah May Allah help u through ur hard time and bless u wid a sibling for ur child! It doesn't get easier especially wid added pressure from ur son! Hope u and ur husband can get through this difficult time together iA! Plz dnt feel u hav to go away from this page! Us Muslim sisters should stand together in dis hard time of our life's! 

Rania unfortunately life has made u very bitter! I can understand wer ur cumin from but trust me wen I say turn to Allah bcoz only he can help u! I pray Allah blesses u wid a healthy child soon! 

Cosmo May Allah  make it easy for u and listen to ur prayers soon! IA x

Roygbiv  MashAllah u hav been blessed  as u already are aware off and  May Allah bless u soon again wid siblings for ur child! 

May Allah make it easy for everyone and end der suffering

Sophie May Allah help u through dis difficult time. 

Lot of love and duas for everyone

Good luck  to all sisters

Xxx


----------



## Stalyvegas

Good afternoon Ladies

I am just popping on as your usual moderator is on holiday, and it has been picked up on that there has been a recent flurry of posts. It saddens me to see arguing within any thread, as someone has already posted - you don't know what its like to live someone else's life or walk in their shoes.

Please can we all take a step back and think about what posts are made - they MUST be of a supportive, not critical or argumentative in nature, as this is the purpose of Fertility Friends. Its is a community where support is the currency, no matter how down, angry or frustrated you are feeling, someone will reach out to you and be there - please bear this in mind, and as the old saying goes if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all....

If there continues to be arguments then I may be forced to close the thread which will benefit no-one. Therefore can we please draw a line under this, and move on with the usual supportive conversations.

If you have any comments please with PM myself or the Admin team directly and we will reply.
Thank you
Staly
x


----------



## isobel snow drop

Salams, it saddens me to read such terrible posts by fellow Muslims but I'm sadly not surprised. I've been in this site for almost 5 years and the only place I  ever seen arguing and nasty bitterness is on this thread.... I will now refrain from reading this thread as it just disappoints me to see such negativity and jealousy.


----------



## Rania82

Ayah I would like to personally apologise, because my intentions were never to kick you in the gut or make you feel terrible or anything like that    I re-read what I wrote to you, and maybe for you and some others it may have  come across mean, from the bottom of my heart I had no intentions to belittle your pain or anything like that. The first thing that I saw was that you mentioned you had a beautiful boy (my dream is always to have a boy Inshallah one day)  and I guess the first thing i thought MA your mom and I got a little excited and carried away with what I thought    It is clear my words had the opposite effect instead of supporting and I came across a nasty person   (Which is NEVER my intentions as i am NOT a mean person. I have a very big heart and love with everything I have, and i guess I can get a little too passionate at times. Again i personally apologise to you Ayah).

Cosmo- I honestly did NOT know your journey as theres no signature or anything, and when I read your post all I read "low sperm is not a big issue" and  for me Thats the reason we have been in this mess for 6 years    and when I read that i did not mean to have pop at you. As you never mentioned what you have gone through i just thought heres someone saying something which they just dont understand? It breaks my heart to know you have been through this terrible experience in the quest for motherhood and it seems like our husbands are both in the same situation   again i personally apologise if i came across nasty.

I am not a bully or a nasty bitter jealous person I am far from it   I always care about others more than my own needs. what i want for myself is of course what i want for every women struggling in this page and world wide. It seems like i came across angry and jealous which I am not. I Will be over the moon if anyone on here fell pregnant, why should I not be? EVERY WOMEN deserves to have a baby, and to hear that I do not want for others what I want for myself is so far from the truth   

I was trying to explain one thing and it seems like everything got blown out of perspective  

Maybe there should be two Muslim pages one for women struggling to become first time mothers? and another page for women struggling to expand their family? I am sure that way there would be less misunderstanding.This page is way too open and it is inevitable that people will agree to disagree.

Even though were muslims we still have a heart were still humans and feel the exact emotions as none muslims. I  guess some topics on here are very very painful for others   and some including myself at this stage of my life can not relate to or even understand other situations, Hence everything turning "ugly" when on another page I guess that would never have come up.  From now on I will definitely stick to other pages and the other sites I use. On the fertility site that I have used in the past , is people like myself that have never been a mom after countless cycles. I have never really spoken to anyone in the situations that some of you sisters are in and it is better for me to get support where I am "comfortable" in. I am sorry to admit this is not a good place for me to be in. 

Also i find it a little patronising when the word "pray" comes into it all the time. I have prayed like a mad women, i have cried my soul out before the crack of dawn.. i have prayed so many times at the Kaba walls i have prayed so hard. I know people mean well but it comes across when the word "pray" keeping being mentioned that I am not into my religion and i never pray.. and i do pray alot. Thats the only thing keeping me alive is my religion!   In the other sites I never felt anyone patronising  me and saying pray pray constantly. Than to hear my lack of empathy might be the reason i am in this mess? I would never hear any other lady say that in any other site ever  

As one mentioned it is a Muslim page where anyone can write what they are going through and for others it might sting a little more. Having said that this place is massive and theres a page for everyone where no one will judge. Maybe the forums I have been in the past was more comforting than this one, everyone understood, everyone was more supportive and can RELATE to the issues. There are some forums in this site i will never dare to go in as it is not a situation that I am going through and will never understand.

I was a little naive when I came on here as i have used many support places over the years I saw "MuSLIM" Got happy and excited and thought this place will be like chatting to "one of the girls" and a very understanding place it is far from it   Yes as everyone said the non muslim women MA have the right words to say never judge and its soothing. As a Muslim myself it saddens me to say this.

Never in my life have i felt this way from a support group   I guess where ever we go in the world theres always people that try and make someone a person they are not.

positive- Your right this place is about support and maybe I gave advice along the way that some did not like ( I have said sorry for hurting Ayah and i hope she knows it did not come from a nasty place) Maybe I am in a dark place, My husband wants us to go ahead with a 5th cycle, I am so afraid of a no as it hurts too much. Constantly my family ask me hurry and give them a child,  my younger siblings are parents my close friends are on their 3rd and 4th. Everyone seems to have moved forward with their life but me   Sitting with family and friends is torture and my husband says to me ignore what they say but when it is on your mind 24/7 it kills to the core.

I do not know if i have made sense or babbled through this post   I do not want to be portrayed as a monster or a bully because I am not.

I wish all the women on this page happiness. I can not think of a worse situation praying and praying to become a mom and than having the added stress of people turning things into something they are not   This place is not good for my well being. 

Sorry for the misunderstanding.


----------



## cookies81

Dear sisters, we all have been through a lot and have tasted the bitterness of infertility and some of us react differently but we can all relate I sincerely believe Rania meant no harm she is a sister in pain and her words just came across in a wrong way , we are here for you Rania sisters don't quit each other after a misunderstanding   Ayah please keep posting we r here to support you and inshAllah you will be blessed soon, Cosmo   your journey to motherhood just shows what a great mom you r and inshAllh you'll be blessed again soon , isobel your one of the first to support me you and sayda please don't leave the forum you r a strong piller here , I don't post a lot but Am here to offer support if needed


----------



## cookies81

Roygbiv   even if you had 10 children and struggling to have the 11th it's still painful   and i guess once you taste the sweet taste of motherhood you want more and more


----------



## Guest

As salaam alaykum I hope everyone is well Insha'Allah. I hope sisters will come with soon xx


----------



## positive4eva

Salaam 
Hope alls well
Sophie hope ur well! 
Hope everyone has a blessed year


----------



## Guest

as salaam alaykum sisters, 
I have decided to leave FF for good as I will no longer be doing any fertililty treatment, 
thank you all for your duas and advice during my journey. 

I pray the Allah (SWT) blesses you healthy, pioius children.  Please inbox me if you would like my 
contact details.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Sophie, may God give you what's good for you and remove what's bad.when one door closes, another opens. And never forget that what we hate, could be good for us. He doesn't burden the soul beyond its abilities.  May Allah protect you!


----------



## Shaz12345

Assalam o Alaikum everyone,

After long time found this page and happy to chat with you.

I am been trying myself for last 12 years and found these forums to find answers to my questions. I hope all of us find success in the end InshaAllah.


----------



## SoSoft

STORY OF HOPE


I had to write my story , when I read all the various emotions going through everyone on this site! 


I hope my journey gives you hope and the strength to carry and fight , as nothing comes with ease. DONT give UP!! Only once you have exhausted all means and have reached the end financially, physically and emotionally then call it a day. 
I've had 8 rounds of IVF , taken 6 yrs to have my first baby and spent over £40,000 


I got married at 33 and had my first baby at 38 and now I'm 42


I started to try the day I got married after a year I was concerned nothing was happening did the ovulation kit everything ok and was having normal periods. Then one day a year later discovered my husband was producing no sperm , I sent him to the GP and was told he has retrograde ejaculation,  sperm was going back in and not coming out, so we went to a place called manchester fertility services (awful place) the consultant advised us to do a PESA and have a urologist check to see we're blockage was


Huge mistake we made having surgery on my husband , the urologist couldn't find anything and took out 12 straws of sperm. The surgery damaged my husbands testicles forever , we can never have a child naturally , only discovered in November 2013 when we went to America to see a specialist who told us that the urologist should not have done surgery on such a delicate area as there was just a cyst  that could have been drained using a tiny needle . So mad when we discovered this 


So going back to my first ivf with Icsi cycle I was so excited that it was going to be a positive my world crashed soon , by the way the clinic messed my first cycle by putting me on the wrong mess and ended up producing 40 useless low quality eggs as I got ovarian hyperstimulation 


2nd cycle was a failure 
Switched clinics to CARE manchester so did 3rd cycle with them , another negative
4th cycle negative this is were I hit rock bottom 


Couldn't take it no more , the witch came , green eyed monster , cruella......
I stopped socialising became insular and was losing all faith in Allah 
I prayed night and day , had all my family praying but couldn't understand this torture and it was torture 
Every man and his dog was pregnant but ME, oh and the pressure from family friends and society 
People stopped inviting us to party's , I became filled with jealousy when I would hear of someone's pregnancy . I remember getting so mad when I heard Celine dion was pregnant , I know Celine dion,,,, I remember constantly crying , had no one to turn to 


I became a nervous wreck was filled with soooo much hate anger bitterness
I stopped praying because I thought my Lord was not listening to me , and it was not my time !!! 


I'm fortunate enough to say that my husband has the funds to continue with IVF , as we were able to keep having treatment . If we did not have the money then think my choices would have been limited , but I was still not ready that this is was my destiny 


On my fifth go my husband and I looked at adoption, what a long journey that would be ... all that red tape , especially overseas adoption . So that was not gonna happen


I knew that my life would be empty without a child , and emotionally I was falling apart but couldn't understand what IVF was not working 


So it was time to get super healthy , start reading , and googling everything baby related my journey began again as I mustered up the energy to try again 
So before we had another go , I was introduced to a lady who's husband is a friend of my husbands who shared her journey , she had 10 goes and on the 11th she was pregnant with a girl , she told me she went on umrah and came back had ivf and it worked 


So my husband and I decided it was our time to go to umrah , my main reason to go was also to try to help me come to terms with the fact that I maybe childless and this journey will help me accept this path 
We went April 2010 it was the most beautiful journey I have ever been on , filled me with calm removed all my ills, worries and troubles and helped me to understand why I was going through this , everything became crystal clear !!! 


We came back and decided to have our last go , but we researched and wanted to see the best doctor who had good results so we saw George ndukwe @ care Nottingham 
His protocol was completely different to everyone else's 
Had cycle in July and in august found out I was pregnant 
During that cycle I changed my diet Life style eating habits , supplements etc 


I couldn't believe it, Allah accepted And listened to my prayers !!! 
I now know the pain and why I had to endure this journey 
In 2011 , 2012 And 2013 we had 3 more goes but to no avail I accept I have 1 beautiful daughter and have experienced the joy she has filled me up with 


No more IVF.... 


So my advice in a nutshell 


1- try to make the trip to Mecca
2- get healthy lose weight exercise do what you have to do
3 prep your body with supplements 3 months before  
4- highly recommend protein powder during and after the cycle , helps create good embryos 
5- don't accept anything less than a blastocyst 
6- see immunogist experts if you have miscarriage more than 2x ie dr Taranissi  , George ndukwe at zita west , dr gorgy ,,, 
7- detox your body before ivf to rid all the bad rubbish and toxins , colon cleanse 
8-look into DHEA to make good embryos 
9- lots of prayers  and stay away for negative people 
10- hijama on sunnah days , to clean blood must be done on sunnah days only way before ivf cycle begins 


Society is cruel I remember 
when I was single they would say when are you gonna marry 
When I was married when are you gonna have a child 
When I had a child when are you gonna have Second 
If you have 2 boys when are you gonna have a girl 
If you have 2 girls when are you gonna have a boy 


March on ladies until you get your baby !!! You are in my duas 
If you know of anyone going to umrah ask them to pray for you


----------



## baby maryam

Salam alaykum, long time have not been here, how is everyone doing?

I see that unfortunatelly some sisters have left the forum, they will be missed. They r in my du'as and I hope life brings them good things, ameen.

I am thinking of going back to treatment, we have 4 sleeping embryos (frozen since april 2012) and thinking of using them before I turn 40. This also might be my last trial.
Hanna (my adopted daughter) is soon to be 18 mts old and she is precious. Alhamdulilah for her, she has cured me from the loneliness and emptiness I felt inside me when thinking of children. 

I wish everyone all the best... salam alaykum


----------



## sophiekh

as saalam alaykum sisters

im still here, reading about journeys is giving me hope.

I hope that Allah swt blesses you with children and makes the journey easy for you.

I'm in a strange place at the moment, but Allah is the best of planners so maybe this is meant to be.

Have faith in Allah and make dua for your fellow muslims


----------



## Maxi2

Salam
Would like to join this thread. There's so much I can relate to on here particularly the views and comments we get from society.  I have been married 13 years, however only started on our icsi journey this year (we only just found our about it as we were told as dh is azoospermic we have no hope of biological child). I hope we have not missed the boat and Allah blesses us with children.  
As someone has said everyone else seems to be moving on win their lives, having a purpose, busy etc etc.  as I have said to my dh not too long ago even babies are having babies, referring to women who were children in at my wedding now have babies bouncing in their laps. I'd do feel so down sometimes and even resentful.  
Sometimes it feels that all I'm looking for at big family events is the bellies of recently married women, and more often than not there it is, the bump.  One after the other after the other. I think I am going to go crazy. Oh and if it's not me noticing bumps everywhere my sisters in law are quick enough to point out to me who has the latest good news.  Great.  Never mind the fact that it is their brother who has the issue.  I know I'm being a cow, but come on have some sensitivity.

Sorry about the rant. Just feel I've had enough of everyone and everything


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Infertility is difficult with no known outcome, children - wise and health.

I've been in that boat for a bit over than 4 years.  Infertility rarely comes alone. Either you discover other problems along the way,  or your spouse's kid a and his ex tries to make problems for you and your family or he wants a certain gender and his sperm is mostly the opposite. ..I had it all. You reach the stage that you don't know what direction to take. If you leave,  you know those issues will disappear,  but then, life is never without the problems. When you hit the wall, the door opens. I did go to um rah,  I prayed and many people prayed for me. However,  until I reached the stage that I cried every day because my husband could not bare another baby (all the boys!) In the family, I didnt succeed. I had an excellent Dr,  but he was taking step by step with us. we had the embryos, but the FET took 5 weeks. I used to wake up at 2 am,  read Al baqarah till 4 and then pray salaat Al haajah.  The husband was still depressed, talking openly he would remarry and there was I, taking 4 injections per day and pills. Noone in my family knew about the happenings in my house. One of his sisters knew and she was not happy with his behaviour.
anyhow,  finally we transferred the embryos. We had to travel abroad for it. I stayed there some time to be monitored by my Dr.  The husband had to go back to our country. After 2 months he came back and we went to the UK.  I'm now in my 2nd trimester. Hopefully all will end well. 
This is a short version of the events.i believe many women would have left if they were in my shoes,but I had faith in God. every day I pray to have everything ending up well and a healthy child who would be the way God has ordered us to be. 
Just keep praying, make du'a and istighfar all the time, give sadaqah.  Inshallah,  the door will open.


----------



## Maxi2

Thank u cosmopolitan. Who knows what would hav happened if the shoe was on the other foot and the issue was with me, it is most likely that he would not hav stuck around for me.  Terrible thing to know that. Oh well. It's just one of the things I hav to live with


----------



## baby maryam

As salam alaykum.... Sophie I m glad u r here... I trully am. Thank u 4 the wellwishing, may Allah give you what ur heart desires most, ameen.


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum

Maxi - I completely understand how you feel, a lot of people do not have any sense when they ask people about the infertility issues. Insha'Allah you will get the necessary medical help for your husband's issue and the treatment will be a success. Loads of prayers and duas coming your way, you have already been patient for so long masha'Allah. Also look at doing detox and cupping (both of you)

cosmopolitan - it is true, turning to Allah in this time is important. 

Well - things have been hard over the past few months, my husband told me wanted to second wife and I have been living with my parents, its been a difficult time, he is now thinking of divorcing me ...(I have pleaded with him but having children is important to him).  Strangely I had booked in to see a private hospital today regarding having my tubes unblocked and alternative (halal) treatment. Im still going...I am one deluded sister!!  

I dont know what Im hoping from this appointment, maybe someone else to say Im not completely damaged goods I guess


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Some  men, esp Arabs, think they would rely on their kids once they grow old. I wouldn't disagree,  it should be so; however,  they forget that rizq is from God. First of all, are they going to be alive once their kids are adults; second, would those kids care about them; third, maybe the kids' spouses won't care or perhaps would be bad and turn the kids against the parents. All of these are possibilities along with a possibility to have good ones. But,  the wife/husband if they are good should be put on a first place.  
I know the couples who couldn't have the kids, but they stayed  together, without causing problems to each other. 
Our men keep forgetting what's written in the Qur'an where it can said that children, I.e. sons and money are decorations of this world, but what is better and stays are good  remainings (Al baaqiyat as salihaat,  sura Al kahf) Also, in this world, the best thing is to have a righteous wife. As a matter of fact, the highest right over him has his wife, after his mother.  
Our men lack religious practice (some of them knowledge,too) and that's the main problem.


----------



## baby maryam

Sophie, it is hard to give any advice.... I've been there.... husband said back few yrs ago he might think of 2nd wife if we did not bare kids 2gather. I cried many days and then realized, what is meant to be will be. 

After adopting Hanna he has not mentioned it, but I have also calmed down. So what? 2nd wife might give him kids, but will never be able to give him or have with him all that we went through. I might stay or leave, but I made it clear that Hanna stays with me. And I will not accept shared household either. She (the 2nd one) is getting used goods, we had them when they were at best age  

I still hope my hubby will not opt for this, but even if he does, I have to survive... have to!!! 

Take care and be very strong... u r in my dua!!! Salamz


P.S. I so understand u!!! May Allh never test us with things we cannot endure!!!


----------



## Maxi2

Sophie hope ur ok. It's difficult to keep going thru such a difficult time.  Keep strong.  Have u gone thru any ivf treatments yet?


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

What will be will be...true, but make du'a daily especially at times when it's accepted.after all, God is on the side of the wronged ones (madhlomeen).


----------



## sophiekh

Alhumduillah I am ok, the last 3 months have been hard for both me and my husband.  (6.5 yrs together and 2 failed IVFs) He is  looking to go down the divorce route instead as having two wives is not easy, so I am just waiting for him to decide what to do.  

I decided to still go and see the private consultant at Guys. I had a scan and it showed I am ovulating Alhumduillah (this was an issue).  He will be performing a full lap, hys, dye test again so that he can investigate whether my tubes can be unblocked. It was sad just sitting there on my own, even the Dr saw that I was down about it. So its put me on his waiting list and will decide when I get the date what to do.  I have no idea how things are going turn out.

I feel so happy when I read my sisters here have been sucessful, been patient and finally masha'Allah it has happened for them.

Anyway, i pray that Allah swt makes this easy for you new couples starting, key things, communicate, support each other and be patient.


----------



## Maxi2

Sophie please try to stay positive. Maybe think about these ivf investigations as something that u are doing for ur self rather than for your husband. It's something that u need to find out for ur future anyway. These men infuriate me. I know it's their right but I guess I am talking from the other point of view.  For me it is my dh who has the issue and I have stuck by him for 13 years. Why can't they do the same? 
I know if it was the other was round he would have had kids by now   
My motto is do things for ur self, if he wants to cut and run let him.  His loss.  U find out the fertility issues for ur self and at least u'll know. Vi know it is so much easier to say this than do it.  
Xxx


----------



## sophiekh

thanks maxi - i have decided to carry on with the investigations. inshaa Allah there might some good come out of it.

I just need to keep my stress levels down and work on my weight loss.


----------



## SisterC

Asalam alaikom sisters


Thank you all for your help & support over the years. 

You deserve an update.

I struggled with infertility issues for years.

Then I got divorced & married to a single father with 6 kids. 

I didn't know it but Allah was answering my prayers & my babies, born from my heart, were being born from the wombs of other women half a world away - just waiting until Allah joined us together in one family. 

Alhamdililah! Allah is the Knower & He knows what He is doing. Don't lose hope. Just trust Allah. Allahu akbar


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam

Thank you for your update Sister C. I'm glad that things worked out for you and happy masha'Allah

I have got my operation for final laparoscopy and hysteroscopy in 3 weeks at Guys hospital with Dr Khalaf. Even though my husband will probably be divorcing me soon, I want to do this one last time...then I can close the chapter on my marriage and infertility.

I keep you all in my duas xx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

May God give you what is best for you.


----------



## NadSi001

Sophiekh - your experience has devastated me  

I pray from the bottom of my heart that Allah SWT grants you sabr and peace ameen


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum all
Nadia insha'Allah you get a positive result,  not long until your test date.

A very quick update from me. Had my operation on Tuesday.  They were not able to do the lap be a of previous scar tissue from my ops. I'm going to have my tubes tested again separately.  I was kept in due to low blood pressure,  feeling much better now alhumduillah. 

Please keep me your duas ..may Allah swt give us good health and sabre.


----------



## NadSi001

Sophie, if Allah has taken from you that which you could've never imagined losing, he will give you that which you could've never imagined owning insha'Allah xx stay strong xx You are in my prayers xx


----------



## NadSi001

Also I've been told by a couple of ladies who speak from first hand experience that if you read surah Maryam daily with the intention that you will keep reading it until you conceive insha'Allah by the barakah of the surah and the will of Allah you will conceive xxx


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum 
Hope all the sisters are well insha'Allah. 

May Allah swt make this journey easy for us all


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

Its been 14 months since we have been TTC, and nothing.
I keep asking hubby that we should go and get tested, but he does not want to. When I bring it up we just argue and then he days I am being disobedient to him, so I give up.

I am trying to be positive and do dua that Allah swt blesses us when it's the right time.
However, this month I feel so low and deflated. My MIL has been away a while but is back now and I have been avoiding seeing her too much as she keeps making comments etc. She has noticed that I don't see her as much, but I haven't said anything, hubby knows why. It annoys me that she only has a go at me and tells me to get tested, but not her son.

Feel so helpless and alone.  Do dua for me sisters that whatever Allah wills for me that I have sabr to deal with it.

You're all in my duas. x


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Hijabi,  sometimes you need to be direct and sharp. Tell your mil that to get a child takes 2 and both of you should get tested. Also, make clear to your husband that the child Is very important to you and that you don't have an intention to live without one. I don't think he is not into kids, but maybe at this point he isn't thinking maturely. I guess both of you are young. However, for you, time is passing, but also, regardless that he can have child even in 50s and even later, still the child needs to be brought up properly and while the parents acrestill able, physically  and mentally. 
May God help you. Continue with the duas and sadaqat,  pray istikharah.  However,  keep in mind that you might be forced to take some more serious decisions.


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum
Hijabi im sorry to hear about your situation, do you know why he doesnt want to do any tests? Some men dont like the thought of having to provide a sample..Although its us women who have to go throught invasion investigations! 
Hopefully the advice  cosmopolitan4112008 will help insha'Allah


----------



## Hijabi

Salam,

Thanks for your replies sophie and cosmopolitan. I am trying to be patient and have sabr. I keep doing dua that Allah swt blesses us and that we do not need tests.
I think hubby wants to wait a while before we get tests, he thinks that we need to give it a bit longer. 

But i agree, he probably doesn't want to give a sample, or have the Drs doing their invasive procedures on me. He doesn't cope well if I have a cold, so having any procedure will panic him. It's sweet, but now I am ready to get tested, but feel I have to wait until he is too. He is aware of how important having a child is, and I think he wants it more then me, but just doesn't show it as much. 

Mil is really insensitive and nosy sadly. She told me it took her and her hubby a few years to have kids, but she still asks me about it when ever she sees me. I told her this week that if she thinks I need to go to the drs, then she needs to tell her son. That did shut hr up, so I'm going to tell her this from now on. Hubby knows and is also fed up of her harassing me.

May Allah wt give us strength to deal with this. Without Allah swts love and fear, i'm not sure how I would have coped!

Hope all sisters are ok. Love and duas x


----------



## sophiekh

Good to hear from you Hijabi, have you tried using ovulation kits, cupping, acupunture, herbal remedies or improving your diet/exercising.
I know how hard it is to keep getting pestered about having babies, it seems like some people assume that is that easy for every one.
If you get harassed again, just say "Allah is the Best of Planners and make dua for us"

Cant believe ramandan is so near 1


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sophie,

Yes, I have tried OPK, I use them every month. We dtd every other day but no joy so far during this period.
I started off taking folic acid etc, but now that we are 14 months in, I have stopped this tbh.
I did have my bloods checked by GP, and she confirmed I am ovulating and that I have low thyroid, for which I am on meds, and this is ok atm s had it checked last month.

I drink a lot of tea, but cutting back to 2 cups a day atm. Plus this will be good ramadan prep as i wont feel it when i am only having 1 cup.

Not tried cupping as I don't know anyone in my area who does it. Would you reccomend this?

Someone told me about a lady who rubs your tummy and puts your womb back in place.  Its an asian lady in the local area. Apperantly everyone who has been to her has gotten pregnant. But I am unsure of this, as I believe if allah wills it, it will happen.

Have any of the sisters tried anything like this ?


----------



## Maxi2

Hi hijabi. Ur post has reminded me of my own situation. Hubby v reluctant to investigate fully. Thankfully we are on the right track now but I wish we had done this 10 years ago.  The single biggest factor in successful treatment is a woman's age.  Please don't leave it too late and be in the horrible position of him thinking he may be better off with a younger version  . I'm sorry to be so blunt but push for it now. As Sophie knows u never can predict what may happen in the future.

Xxx


----------



## sophiekh

Hijabi - I sent you a PM with some details.
Maxi is right - do not leave it too late. Its makes things much harder.


----------



## Hijabi

Salam Maxi,

Thanks for your advice. I feel really torn. Mashallah me and hubby rarely argue. But I think your right maybe i need to push him, which may lead to an argument, but inshallah it will be worth it in the long run. I will wait till after ramadan now, as it will be a few more months later. 

Mashallah my hubby is supportive and great believer is Allah swt, so I do not think he would consider re-marriage, but your right things can change and others can influence.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Hijabi,  use the blessing of Ramadan to the maximum.  Finish reading the Qur'an,  a lots of sadaqah and supplications, also last third of the night and on each sajdah,  make du'a. Don't forget taraweeh,  even 8 rakaat at your home.  I did all of this last Ramadan and thank God, this Ramadan, I'm going to deliver inshallah.


----------



## Maxi2

Hijabi - it's good to hear ur marriage is strong alhamdullilah. I just hope Allah blesses u with what we all desire so much. I was listening to a talk by mufti Ismail Menk, I don't know if I've heard of him, but he was talking about as well as having faith in Allah, we must also seek medical treatment as these are the tools of Allah. He was saying that it's not right just to put ur faith in Allah without physically seeking out help that he has provided.  I found this eye opening especially as I went thru years of thinking 'oh well if Allah doesn't will it to be, it's not for me' 
In sha Allah our duas will be accepted.

Xxx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Maxi2,  I was treated medically,  but when i did more what i should do as a Muslim,  my treatment was successful.


----------



## ayah

Salam Sr,

Thought that I would not be coming back here, but as it flags new messages  from this forum I TEND TO READ THEM.  ANYWAY THE LAST COUPLE CAUGHT MY EYE.  OOH  sorry not sure how I cap lacked that.  Was not shouting honest lol.

Anyway Srs it is not an either or with regrads to medical tx verses "Islamic" worship.  Indeed it could be argued that seeking medical attention in order to tx for illness or health issues generally, is a form of worship when done with the intention of seeking Allahs murcey through His resoureces that He has blessed All mankind with.

There is aheadith.  Not to do with health or having children, but very relavent and explains the piont well.  A man was sitting with the Prophet SWTA and the prophet asked if the man had tied his camal?  The man said no he had left it in the care of Allah.  If Allah willed it would not wonder off .  The Prophet replied, No you must tie the camel, do what you can do to keep it from wondering, THEN leave it to Allah.

Clearly we are instructed to do what we can in this life and only then can we say, if this or that does/doesnt happen it was Allahs will and I accept that.  Allah has given use free will, intellect, logic, common sence, compassion, hearing, sight ect.  Then he has given use knowledge of all the sciences, plants animals, minerals, land, rain, sun, night day etc.  He has blessed us with resorces do we refuss to use them?  His blessings to us we reject?

Soon after I conveted A brother told me how he fasted even when traveling long distances, as if this made him more pious.  Then a few years ago, I met a sister who fasted despite nusring a baby.  The baby was ill and refussed anything but her mothers milk, but the mother had little milk due to her fasting.  In both cases they rejected Allah gift of murcey for the traveller and the nursing mother.  Would we reject a gift ftom our parent.  Say no you keep it?  Yet we do this with the mercey that Allah offers us.

But like I said it is not an either or.  We must seek out true authrntic Islamic knowlegde of dua to read, suras to read etc.  This includes when, where, how and even why, if it has been revealed.  When we read we must understand what we are saying and what it means.  Our worship must not be blind

Then we must be good, kind compassionate, generous, patient, etc, with each other and creation.  If our prayer does not make use better people we have not benifited from it.

I feel in love with Islam as it is complete.  It is not just spiritual, like some religions, it is not just about being nice, like humanism, it is not just about appricating nature, or this world, or science.  To be a good muslim we have to do it all, in balance in accordance to Allahs guidance..  We cannot say one is more important than another, unless Allah has revealied it as so.  It is all from Allah.

We do not say if Allah will I will eat, but then just wait for a food patcel to appear at the door.  We go shopping.  But that does not mean that we do not worship Allah, say Bismillah, before food, AlhumduAllah, after.  We dont leave dua to ask for sustanace because we went shopping.  No we do both.  And we should do more better muslim stuff when we have, toshow we are greatful and when we dont have, to ask of Allahs murcey.

Srs may Allah bless us all with what is best for us and make us content with it.  May He make our trials easy to bear.  May He grant us good nature, true knowledge and understanding.  May He forhive us and have murcey on us and our weaknesses.  May He let us not live or die accept as Muslims.  AND may He forgive mefor the wrong or misleading in what I say, and may He  guide me and those who hear me to the right way.

Salams Srs
Ayah xxx


----------



## Maxi2

Yes ayah. That is in essence what I was saying. 
Xxx


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

Mashallah all good advice. I hear what you are saying about treatment, its just a case of convincing hubby now. But i think deep down we are both scared in case drs say there is something wrong. I think it will be a vry emotional journey, and we both need to be ready for it. May Allah swt give us sabr.

Inshallah im hoping to get the benefit of ramadan, cosmo your story is heart lifting. It's lovely to hear some positive news. May Allah bless you and your child.

I'm at work, so better get going, will rember you all in my duas. May allah swt grant us what our hearts desire and if we don't get it, to be content with what we have been blessed with. x


----------



## ayah

Maxi, yes I thought so.  And I am sure cosmopolitan  meant that too.  I believe most of us know that, but sometimes we can see them as distint different things.  Being nice is not part of being a good muslim, cos that is praying and making dua and cooking dinner.  Being nice is enogh alone as long as you pray too, but more is extreme.  Etc.  Not implying this is what anyone here thinks.  I have just heard it too often in life outside ff.

We can never know truely why Allah has blessed us or why He has not, in regard to children or ant other matter.  We just have to work hard at it all.  We will be tested one why or another, even through our blessings.  And our hardest tests my prove to be the best thing to happen to us.  May we only be tested with what we can bear.

Thank you for all that I have learnt from you srs.  May you be blesses in yhis life and the next.  
Take care 
Salams 
Ayah xxx


----------



## Rania82

Salams Sisters,

I have not been in here for a while. I just had my 5th failed IVF yesterday. It is been a crazy 6 years and we have given it 100% we have tried so so hard to have a baby but I guess Allahs plans are a little different to mine  

Reading a few of your latest comments, I was just like that 6 years ago contemplating an appointment? afraid they will find something? seems such a long time ago. I was 26 when i started this journey thinking it will be "easy" now I am 32 and so confused and frustrated with everything. We performed Umrah a few months ago thinking spiritually we will be strong for the 5th and "final" try.

We have paid for all 5 IVFS and not sure what we will do now? maybe a 6th one after Ramadan? maybe call it a day I honestly do not know. SubHAnAllah they keep saying "perfect this and perfect that" but obviously something is not perfect   I thought its my husband that has the issue so IVF will be a breeze   much much harder than i thought it will ever be. Our marriage has been through the toughest of tests, and im sure many could not tolerate  this hardship  

6 years of trying, people have stopped asking us about kids ,as i get so angry and will reply when will you have your 5th or 6th kid?? it is not easy at all just feeling empty and praying that ALllah blesses us one day. I have had 14 Embryos put back in me "14 potential babies" and not even 1 ended up a forever baby  

It is such a painful painful chapter in my life that I would love to put a closure to


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Rani a,  saying sorry to you probably wouldn't mean anything and I understand because I was in the same boat.  I started at 29, but thank God, got pregnant at 33. Inshallah within 2 months, the baby will be here.
I am not kind of a person who likes to repeat herself esp if I made my points and arguments clear, but I told you, almost 6 months ago where to turn. Your diagnosis is not complete and this is why you are not succeeding.  I really doubt it's only a male factor involved because it was how we started and then we discovered other things.

wish you better days to come!


----------



## Rania82

Cosmo- MA only 2 months to go, May it inshAllah go super fast for you.

I have done ALL the immune tests you have mentioned and if not more, the clinic I went to in Dubai is the best in the Gulf and they told me they can NOT physically give me any other drugs regarding "immune issues" I was on EVERYTHING Intraplids 2 weeks before transfer, intraplids on the day of transfer, Estrofem, Asprin, Steroids, Clexane injections, Progesterone injections, Crinone gel, Cycologest.. If theres anything you think I did not take please tell me? as the director of the clinic and two other doctors made the comment that "i am on everything physically possible"

Flying to America was NOT something i can do at this moment of time? and im sure its not something many can do in a blink of eye. MA that clinic worked for you and i am sure you have nothing but sweet words for that particular DR and clinic. I know I am not in a cheap clinic, i know that they are doing their best and just as frustrated as me. They have the latest technology and some fantastic success rates. Unfortunately I guess it is just not my time. After 5 years of tests, hormones, scans, AlhAmduilah NOTHING really has come back with alarming results again unknown. There is no real diagnose as i have had very good doctors say unknown and within time.

I find it a little deflating when you make out I have not been "active" in my case ALLAH knows the calls i have made, the research I have done, I would have NEVER done a 5th IVF if i thought something might have been left untouched? I know you mean well BUT it does not come across nice when i just had a failed cycle yesterday to read what you put.

I guess only Allah my husband and myself know the real journey that I have taken.

InshAllah every women gets there BFP very soon.

Thank you for your encouraging words after ALL these failed IVFS that we have been paying out of our own pocket, I know we have done all the required test, hence my body full with every immune suppressing drug out there.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Rania,  I hope you have my messages from before. I told you about neupogen,  about my whole treatment.  I didn't get pregnant by accident.  My Dr is very, very thorough. I was under the preparation for 5 weeks before my FET. You don't have to go to America. He can order tests for you from the UK.  Just contact him.
I was treated in the ME in one of the best and most reputed clinics. No use. They are much behind. One of the doctors from the clinic you just came from is in contact with my Dr.  She is trying to learn from my Dr because even doctors in your clinic realised that reproductive immunologist with 20 + years of experience and very high success rate in cases everyone gave up on, shouldn't be ignored but used to learn from. 
My friend has been trying for 9 years and nothing. I was speaking and speaking, but in vain. Finally, she listened and now on Friday she will.have a Skype talk to him. He grants 10 min conference for free. Contact him and do the same. You won't lose anything! 

Sorry if i was harsh, but I wish somebody had guided me before. So, when the door opens, go through it. This is the only way to know what is on the other side.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

By the way, I had 5 ivfs before this one. Noone ever discovered anything except things related to myhhusband.  All my embryos were genetically tested. With this Dr,  I succeeded from the first ivf.


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum all

Rania - im so sorry to hear about your result, i know no words will make you feelng any better.  I hope in time that things will get better and you have the strength to try again insha'Allah.  If you are able to afford to and have energy to try again then maybe the Dr that the sister above mentioned might help insha'Allah.  
I always believe its all in Allah swt hands, no matter how good the Dr or clinic may be, only Allah knows what the future hold. 
Alhumduillah you sisters are very fortunate to have partners who are patient and able to support you through this long journey.


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykums sisters, i need some advice - well as you know i am in my iddah period as my husband asked for divorce because of my fertilty issues - Ive been trying to get a second opinion in the hope that I still may have a chance of having a baby. Today I had another HSG to check the tubes to confirm they are blocked.  My other tests show that Im ovulating and I am waiting for my blood tests results. I really dont know what to do anymore....Should i give up and be content that motherhood wasnt meant for me.  I know that my marriage is over and i dont want see myself marrying ever again either.

I just needed to get my thoughts out because i feel like im going to explode


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

First of all, if you are in iddah,  it means he already divorced you. So, if you are not doing all those tests to see your general fertility condition in order to remarry some day, what's the point of doing them? I mean, do you think two of you are getting back together?


----------



## sophiekh

Well these were all arranged before hes said we wanted to divorce, in the iddah period there is a chance that a couple may/could get back together.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

How long has it been since you are in iddah?


----------



## Maxi2

Hey Sophie how u doing? Xx


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum, im not doing that great , i know everyone will tell me that i need to get over him but its harder than i ever imagined, just keep in your duas


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Sure it's difficult.  We are not stones. But if he was able to move on, so are you! And you will, but some time is needed.


----------



## Maxi2

Sophie I know how hard it must be, I've been through separation and everyone telling me how I need to be string and get over it. But it's so hard.  Have u heard of Yasmin Mogahed, I found her talks and book 'reclaim your heart' ever so comforting and it awoke me spirituality when I was feeling despair and loneliness.

Xxx


----------



## Phatty

Asalaamu aleykum dear sisters,

I've been reading this thread on and off for 5yrs as we've been going through treatment and I always found it comforting with such sisterhood alhamdulilah. First time posting though as I've been a bit shy!

 to all you lovely ladies going through so much. I pray Allah swt puts barakah in your trials and give us all patience and ease after. Aameen 
In'sha'Allah we all make it through Ramadan and utilize its blessings to the max

I'm currently on day 11 after a zift transfer. This will be my 7th cycle and as much as I   It's worked this time, I know only if it's what's best for me and dh in our dunya and aakhira will it happen. 

Sisters lets all be more compassionate,forgiving and understanding of one another. We all have such a special bond that no other 'religion'/way of life does  
And please all keep posting! I miss this thread being so active xx


----------



## Phatty

And huge congrats Maxi2!!! Just noticed your siggy
Praying you have a healthy and easy 9 months xx

And any other ladies I've missed, wish you all the best xx


----------



## Maxi2

Thanks so much phatty, it's been a hard road but alhamdullilah Allah has answered my duas. For years we were told there's no way we can have kids, subhanAllah He is the best if planners. I pray in sha Allah everything goes well. 
How u doing, I'm not sure what a zift transfer is I've never heard if it?


----------



## Phatty

Your story really warms my heart. He swt really is best of all planners!

A zift cycle is where they transfer 1 day old embryos directly into your tubes via a laproscopy. Everything else upto the transfer is just like a normal ivf/icsi cycle. They usually recommend doing this with multiple ivf failures and if your tubes are clear
The success rates are supposedly quite high, just a more costly and complicated procedure which is why I guess the clinics don't offer it too often


----------



## Maxi2

Wow, I honestly thought I knew everything there was to know about this ivf lark! In sha Allah u will be given success, so r u gona test 14dpt or a bit longer seeing as they were early embies?


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum sisters

welcome to the thread sr phatty, insha'Allah your treatment will be sucessful. I think I might read up on zift treatment.  Ive never heard of it.

Maxi - congratulations on your pregnancy, May Allah swt make the next 9 months easy for you and that you are blessed with pious & healthy offspring.

I hope the other sisters are doing well, where ever you are in the your journey.  Please keep me in your duas


----------



## Phatty

Maxi2 there's always something new isn't there?! My Dr wanted me to test from 8dpt but I waited till 11dpt yesterday and did a blood test which was negative. I kind of was prepared because I'd had some light bleeding from the previous day

Sophiekh thank you for the welcome sis. Please do read up about zift. It's good to know all the options that are available. May Allah swt bring you peace and happiness on this difficult journey you're on. The book by the sister mentioned by maxi sounds really interesting, I'm going to try to get my hands on it


----------



## Maxi2

Phatty so sorry.  I'm not sure how long uve been on this ivf roller coaster but don't lose heart. Hope u have the strength to try again in sha Allah 

Xxxxx


----------



## sonia123

Asalaamu alaykum sisters,

I am new to forums in general but thought it's about time to start chatting since I am going through such an emotional rollar-coaster and don't really know anyone going through the same challenge. Feels like everyones having babies at the moment so easily and they don't understand. Obviously, I know Allah has a plan beyond our knowledge.

I had an early miscarriage last year, which was really tough to go through but alhamdulillah. Been TTC for 2 and a half years now. Just been told I have a very low egg reserve for my age (25) and from the HyCosy, I am unsure what is going on with my right side, but not wanting to go through a laparoscopy. Thankfully the dye drained out of my left tube, so somethings working. My husbands tests results haven't been good either. 

Been told we need to go for ICSI.

I am not so terrified of the injections, even if it will get frustrating. I am more worried about OHSS but I understand whatever happens is Allahs will.

My info app is on 30th July and they've said that is when I will get all the injections etc.

Anyone else going through similar situations? Just looking for sisters to chat to who are in the same boat I guess.


----------



## Maxi2

Vsalam sonia
Welcome. It's so hard seeing babies everywhere isn't it. I had now got to the point of looking at the bellies of recently married women at family functions and knowing that they'll soon be expanding. Hated attending any family does, just felt a resentment towards everyone. Alhamdullilah we do find the strength tho.  
Al of us on here will know exactly what ur going thru and how u feel.  I remember when I first joined I finally didn't feel so alone anymore, no one else can understand what this does to u unless they are going thru it.  
Sounds like things have for underway for u now tho, u'll find gnat once u start treatment things will move fast in sha Allah.  
Xxx


----------



## sonia123

Insha'Allah sister maxi2.

I always feel awkward around babies now. Like the parents are looking at me thinking something, as they know I've been trying for so long. I hate being the one that they feel sorry for.

I've only got one friend that's said to me she's done research to see what I'm going to be going through, to understand it better. Even my family haven't bothered with that. People seem to think it's all so easy to go through, when it's the biggest challenge of my life.

My mum always goes on at me if I don't attend her friends gatherings but my husbands told me to be selfish and if I don't want to go, don't. I went to one counselling session and they even said if I don't feel up to it then I shouldn't force myself to do something I don't want to. She said all I'm feeling is normal and it's okay not to do certain things. Obviously family gatherings are different cause we kind of have to. I just hate it when there's a baby and everyone looks to you and starts making dua. I'm just thinking, I appreciate your prayers but you don't need to do it just cause I'm looking at  the baby. I won't give the baby evil eye when I'm genuinely happy for someone. They just make me feel more frustrated cause when I'm happy for them they choose to give me another reminder. 

I often feel more pressure from the Muslim community as they aren't so open minded regarding fertility. They don't understand how common it is and try to fault stupid things. I also feel so awkward cause the first thing someone will ask is do you have kids and why not if you don't.. Stop being so nosy. I just tell them to make dua for me as Allah hasn't willed it yet or if I want them to feel as awkward as they have made me feel I tell them I've had a miscarriage so they feel bad for being nosy lol!


----------



## sonia123

Wa alaykum asalaam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatu jazakAllah khair for your advice sister.

I keep reading as much as I can and watching videos about peoples journeys. I find it helps and it makes me happier cause I'm not the only one going through these difficulties.

My husband keeps saying I shouldn't think negatively that bad symptoms could happen etc, but I'd rather be prepared mentally and if I think the worse then maybe it won't be as bad as I thought.. I hope lol. 

I'm prepared for feeling like a pin cushion, I'm okay with needles, but I'm more worried about ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome cause I already have discomfort in my lower abdomen quite often. 

From all this I've learnt to put myself first and if people don't understand, it's their problem.

My mum keeps telling me to do salat al ikstahara. What are your thoughts on this for this situation? I said to her I don't feel the need cause obviously in Islam it's encouraged to have children and we can only try and the rest is Allahs will. If He wills for it to be successful it will be, if He doesnt, He has a reason beyond our knowledge.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam, 

istikhara can never harm, on the contrary. 
As for ohss,  you can freeze your embryos and have a transfer later on,  when you feel better.however, some doctors give medications to prevent ohss, but I don't know which ones since it was not my case. 

I'm not open about our case except on the forum. My immediate family members know and 2 friends because they were dealing with it.


----------



## sonia123

I just want it over and done with now. I'm rubbish with waiting. So yes excited but nervous too. It seems many people say the first cycles hardest cause you don't know what to expect.

My mum keeps telling me to not tell anyone but I hate keeping these things a secret cause why should we feel ashamed. It's beyond our control. I've told my non Muslim friends cause they seem more understanding. Some of my Muslim friends know but I try to keep it away from the chatterbox communities lol. 

I guess Ramadhan is falling at a great time really, couldn't be any better timed alhamdulillah.

If you don't mind me asking, what's your story with IVF etc?

Wa alaykum asalaam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatu  cosmopolitan do you by any chance know if they freeze it during nhs treatment? If not, I may call and ask about it cause it's definitely something I want to do if given the option to save me having to go through everything again if unsuccessful.


----------



## Maxi2

Sonia
I had a fresh cycle in February, it was a negative but we were able to freeze one embryo. They did this on the nhs and I'm currently 6 weeks + 1 day pregnant with that frozen embie alhamdullilah. I think once ur granted funding they detail what the funding covers. For us it was one fresh cycle and one frozen. If I had any more frozen embies I would have to pay for those cycles. The cost of FET is a lot less then a fresh cycle tho xxx


----------



## Maxi2

Salam roygbiv. I'm ok alhamdullilah, it's still very early for me. My first scan is on the 4th July I'll be 7+5 by then in sha Allah. I'm feeling bit run down today. So shattered!
How r u?  How fat along in ur pregnancy are u?


----------



## Maxi2

Sorry far not fat!!


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

The ladies have already explained about freezing and nhs policy.

I agree with your mum about not telling people not because you are ashamed, but people never stop asking and being curious, no matter what their intentions are. I got so much tired from a single friend who kept asking and asking that I started hiding when I was doing my cycles.also, if something happens like bnf or mc,  God forbid, you have to explain.  Therefore,  until the pregnancy is established nicely, I would also advise to keep silent. Who loves you, won't get angry.if you need support,  you have your mum (who sounds to me as a wise woman) and us here at the forum.


----------



## Maxi2

Aaah I'd love to be that fat!!!
Yes really looking forward to the scan but so anxious as well. Keep feeling I'm nog really pregnant till I see that hbeat in sha Allah. Thanks for the reassurance about feeling tired!  
Not long for u in sha Allah. Wish u the very best


----------



## sonia123

Awww mabrook! That's wonderful masha'Allah. Insha'Allah Allah yatammem bikhair. May Allah allow your pregnancy to carry on successfully and you give birth to a healthy baby that will grow up to be a pious Muslim ameen. That goes to both of you ladies who are pregnant bismillah masha'Allah.

When do they tell you what they will cover, is it in the info app with the nurses cause no ones specified exactly yet? 

jazakAllah khair for the advice. I agree, I've not told anyone who isn't close to me. They are just people I'd generally want around me during the process. It just annoys me that these issues aren't talked about so seem uncommon but they are actually so common. Many women feel like outcasts when it's something so many people silently suffer with.

SubhanAllah everyone has their own battles and Allah tests in unique ways. It's great to read other people's journeys, it just makes me feel so much better to know I am not the only one going through such a tough battle. 

I think from what I understand it's just one free cycle for me. I've already looked into the costing regarding a second go. If there are left over embryos I would ideally like to freeze them as I don't want to go through another full course if I don't have to. I'll speak to them and see exactly where I stand insha'Allah. I guess it all depends on how many they manage to get. I'll just have to start saving just in case in the meantime.


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum

Great this thread has finally picked up masha'Allah.

Maxi - I hope and pray that scan goes well insha'Allah - i think the worry is never ending but i hope the next 8 months are made easy for you insha'Allah.

Roygbiv - Not long to go now. Insha'Allah you will be holding your precious cargo soon.

Sonia - I would agree with everyone, not everyone needs to know your business. Its hard - people will always ask. I found it difficult to explain my situation to people. Just continue ask for dua etc. 
Where are based? It all depends on where you live - in my area - I had 3 free cycles, but my sister only had one free cycle. The cost of IVF varies across the clinics. One of the lovely consultants I met suggested that I look at taking part of clinical trial - where the cost of the IVF is covered in some. I would definitely recommend looking into a variety clincs on the HFEA site and ask questions on this forum. Insha'Allah your treatment will be a success and you wont need to look at self funding.

Heres the link anyway
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/IVF/Pages/clinical-trial.aspx


----------



## sonia123

Wa alaykum asalaam wa rahmat Allah wa barakatu jazakAllah khair I'll check it out later insha'Allah.

I'm pretty sure it's only one cycle that I am funded for. Even then, I'm only just on the edge weight wise, need to try lose a couple of kg just in case.

Insha'Allah that's what I hope obviously as we all do.


----------



## sophiekh

I think that BMI has to be under 30 to be eligible. Im sure that they will let you know at first appointment.


----------



## sonia123

Sophie, I think I was 30 but the nurse said I am just right but if I put any weight on I won't qualify.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Ladies, is Ramadan tomorrow or after tomorrow?


----------



## Maxi2

I think first fast is Sunday as far as I've heard xx


----------



## ayah

Salam Al-akoum Sisters.  

May be a bit busy tomorrow, so just wanted to wish you all  Ramadan kareem.  May your fasting and worship of Allah be accepted.  May He forgive us our sins and make our trials easy to bear.  

Forall of the sisters still tcc I pray that Allah will bless you very soon but that He gives you strength during the difficult times of TCC.  May you be rewarded for your patients in such hard times.  May you be surounded by supportive family, friends and husbands.  

For those who are expecting may your pregnacey be easy to bear.  Remember Allahs murcey that he has granted us a great gift in not complelling us to fast but may will still seek reward in this holy month through our worship and gratfulness for what he conceled inside us and how He offers them protection my allowing us to eat and drink.

For those with children may it be a blessed month for you too.  May you find these long days easy to fast.  SubhanAllah I have heard that in the UK it may be a cooler week blessed with rain inshAllah.

May we all be blessed with children of good charecter and eman.  A blessing and a murcey from Allah.  May we be good parents who start our children off in life with a true undefstanding and foundation and love of Allah and Islam.  My our children not have to tread this path of IF but if so may we offer the support they need.  May our hardship make us better musljms, friends, sr, daughters, wives.  

May we all be blessed with eman, love compassion, for each other, patients, generosity, and all types of good character.

I pray for those who find themselves in exceptionally difficult situations here and around the world.  May Allah bring you ease.

I pray for forgivness from anyone here I have upset or offended.  Never have i meant harm or hurt.  Please forgive my weakness.  

Salams

Ayah xxx


----------



## Sidd

Ramzaan Mubarak to you all x


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Allay yobarek alayna wa alaykom! 
Especially during these holy days, do not forget du'a whenever on sajdah or even while doing other things: rabbi la tadharni fardan wa anta khayrul waritheen. 
ربي لا تذرني فردا و أنت خير الوراثي!


----------



## scribbles

Hi ladies!

I'm the new trainee volunteer/moderator for the religion and infertility board and just wanted to pop in to say Ramadan Mubarak. For those who are fasting, the best of wishes! As a Catholic, I struggle giving up my weaknesses over Lent so have the upmost admiration for those who fast! From living in Oman, I remember watching my friends fast in mid summer and had the greatest respect for their devotion and resilience, but the Eid parties were amazing!

God Bless

Scribbles


----------



## sophiekh

Thank you for your lovely message scribbles!

Ramandan Mabaruk All, may all our sins be forgiven and prayers be answered.

Let us all most use of this month and rewards and blessings insha'Allah

I pray that Allah swt makes this journey easy for all those who are starting on this rollacoaster.

For my sisters who are expecting, may Allah swt bless you with healthy and pious offspring who are the coolness in your eyes

Insha'Allah


----------



## scribbles

Hi ladies,

I just wanted to wish you all a blessed Eid Mubarak and hope you are all rewarded for your hard work, dedication and devotion during Ramadan, I am in awe of you all. 

God bless

Scribbles


----------



## Sidd

Hi scribbles that is a lovely message 😊 Happy Eid to you and your family too x


----------



## ayah

Thank you scribbles,

Eid mobarek srs.  InshAllah you fasting and worship has been accepted.

Ayah xxx


----------



## sophiekh

Eid Mubarak all..


----------



## sophiekh

Eid Mubarak all..


----------



## positive4eva

Eid Mubarak ladies 😊😊😊


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

I hope you all had a productive and joyful Eid.

I am writng today as I've been feeling a bit flat this week. i'm trying so hard to ramin positive and not let the fact we have no children get me down, but it still does.

I wrote a few months back and was planning to speaking to my hubby after ramadan(who doesn't want to go to the drs) about getting tested.

However, since then a close friend of mine who i used to speak to a lot about this has told me she is pregnant and another close friedn has had her baby. It feels to me like it will be prob better for us to go for tests once this close friend has had her baby. As i want to be there for her, but also I don't want to be going through the emotional rollercoaster of fertility treatments when she is planning her babies arrival. 

Plus, I honeslty don't feel emotionally my hubby and i are ready for tests. We've been trying for 1.5 yrs and both in early 30's, so I am just praying Allah swt blesses us soon.

I think deep down i just havent got the energy to argue with my hubby over getting the tests as i know he will find it tough.

I'm trying really hard to be 'nice', and what i mean by this is, my close friends who are pregnant and just delivered, say things like, ''oh preg is so hard, i never have time for myself''. I feel that they are so ungrateful. I feel like i'm becoming bitter with women who have kids, because I feel they are ungrateful and have it so easy. I know its not as simple as that, but when they make flippant comments, it makes me feel like life is unfair. But i know allhumdulliah allah only tests us with what we can bear, and this is my test and i need to show sabr.

I am praying hard that Allah gives me sabr and takes away these horrible thoughts as thinking in this way is not in my character.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, but i needed to let it out....!


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam

Sis Hijabi - sorry to hear that you are feeling down. 
This stuff does make you feel very down at times. You need to do what feels right for you and your husband.  
I would say that pushing your my selves when you are not ready may harm your relationship.  Try talking to him again when you feel you are ready to start the treatment.


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sis sophie,

Thanks for your reply. I was having a really bad day that day. 
I have since had a long and hard think. I have also spoken to hubby.
We have agreed that when my friend has had her baby, if we are still not successful, we would go to the GP and start the process of getting tested.
So I'm being positive and we now have agreed a date to work towards. I have also decided to stop talking to people and telling them things. I still get people asking me why I'm not pregnant and if I have been tested or not, but I am not responding, just politely refusing to answer. Inshallah if Allah wills then it will happen for us.

How are you sister, I'm sorry to read that your hubby divorced you. How are you coping? Allhumdulillah I hope your well. If you need to talk, we are all here for you.x


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam 
Sis Hijabi that's good Masha'Allah.  Give yourselves the time you need before going through all. I would recommend taking a break away somewhere as well,  it's all appointments once you start properly. 

I really don't think it's anyone else business regarding fertility. .people like to make it their business for some reason. 

Well divorce ..it feels strange,  I'm not happy but I have to move on. I thought he'd change his mind but there's nothing you can  do when having children us more important. 

I hope every one else is doing well insha'Allah  ...


I'm not sure actually what I'm still doing here though lol xx


----------



## Orion

Salaam everyone

Me and my wife have been trying for a baby for several years and even though she is fine and my count is 18mil we have struggled to conceive. we are thinking of going down the IVF route but as we can't afford it my wife suggested we egg share. As far as I can read this is not allowed in our religion but I wanted to know if anyone here has done it or knows anyone.

I've come around to the idea and she is happy to give another person the chance of brining a baby to the world but we needed to know if there are others like us?


----------



## mimiuk

salam alikoum,
bro Orion you know it's haram to do eggs sharing in both sides (if you and your wife use someone's else eggs, or if someone else uses your wife eggs) in the first case the child will not be your wife but yours from another woman and the second case it will be your wife child with another man, it's like ZENA and if you give the child from this sharing eggs your name that's another HARAM, as you are not the dad it's haram to adopt the child but allowed to do KAFALA of the orphan, and if you get the child from this egg sharing and it's a girl, in few years it will be HARAM on you to stay alone with her alone as you are not her DAD and her MAHREM. (this works as well for the kafala and if the child is a boy your wife can't be alone with him as he is not her child).
So think about it is it worth it to build your family on HARAM knowing that Allah forbade us to do it.
I don't mean to tell you what to do,  I'm not judging your choices 
might Allah forgive us


----------



## Tryingtobstrong2015

Salam everyone,

I am new here. Although I have known since April 2014 that I have to go through IVF-PGD due to 50/50 chance of a genetic condition being passed on from DH. We were referred in April after his diagnosis, prior to which we had been trying to 1.5 years. We did not have any tests done before this, got tested last week and found out I was okay but  DH had zero sperm count. I am devastated. We are advised to get another SA done which I am praying so hard will come back positive. I am really scared. May Allah help us out!! 
If SA remains the same then we will have to get more investigations done but meanwhile my IVF has been postponed and so has my dream to become a mother..


----------



## Maxi2

Hi tryingtobestrong
Just wanted to let u know u r not alone. My dh also consistently produced zero sperm, but there is still hope for u. Unfortunately we went thru 13 years of being told our only option was donor sperm (which of course isn't an option). Finally we found out about surgical sperm retrieval. Alhamdullilah I am currently 19 weeks pregnant.  They found 'a few motile sperm' from the testes and we were told the chances for a pregnancy were small, but alhamdullilah. We got married in 2001 and all these years have been so incredibly hard, but keep ur faith and in sha Allah ur duas will be answered. 
Xxx


----------



## Tryingtobstrong2015

Hi Maxi2,

Thank you so much for your message. It has given me a lot of hope. I am constantly praying to Allah to provide me with a healthy baby, ameen. 

Congratulations, may Allah bless you with a healthy pregnancy and baby.

xxx


----------



## chocoholic17

salaam all..i just found this thread and wanted to say hello.im currently stimming for my forts ivf...inshaAllah it will work out..


----------



## NadSi001

Salaam All 

Its been a while since my last post on this thread. This journey is not easy! My husband and I seem to have a problem in the communication aspect of the sperm and egg resulting in not being able to make viable embryos and if on the off chance we do make an embryo the killer cells in my womb automatically 'abort' the embryo. Our chances of conceiving naturally therefore are nil per cent. 

This is our third and final attempt at ICSI, I am in my 2 week wait which is possibly the hardest part of the whole process. Please pray for me, keep me in your duas as you will be in mine, Insha'Allah it will work out for all of us. Ameen.


----------



## NadSi001

Maxi 2 - your story has brought tears to my eyes, good news is so important and always happy to receive it ! It lifts our spirits. Duas of pregnant women are answered that much more quickly, please pray for us to be in the same position as you insha'Allah xxx   

Good luck with the birth of your child xx


----------



## Maxi2

Salam Nadsi001
I dearly pray that u are blessed.  I believe us ladies who struggle so hard for it can only appreciate it like no one else can. I still now have moments where I have a sudden panic that this is not real and that I am dreaming and will wake up.  If I can advise anything I would say do as much research in ur issues as u can, as and dh took all the doctors word for it that there was no chance for us.  My sister was the 'tool' that led us to find out about the procedures available to us.  GPs are absolutely useless when isn't comes to infertility.  
Xxx


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum 

Maxi congratulations on your pregnancy. .May Allah swt bless you healthy and pious offspring. 

Nads  Insha'Allah your treatment works..I know how hard it it waiting. .

Hope everyone else is well insha'Allah


----------



## Maxi2

Thank u Sophie. I think about u often, I hope u are well xxx


----------



## sophiekh

I am doing ok alhumdullah thanks for asking xx


----------



## NadSi001

Salaam all 

Unfortunately, it was not good news for me on Friday, another BFN. I prayed to Allah for strength before I did the test if it the result was not what I had been praying for and Alhumdolillah I have to say that is one dua that was answered. 

My husband has been the best and I know I am incredibly lucky to be married to him, Allah will reward him for the love and support he has given me and how he has picked me up and stood me up to fight another day. 

DH doesn't want to put me through any more of this heart break so we decided that was our last try and he has stood firm on that. Maybe there is some betterment in this for us that we are not seeing right now but will see in hindsight. 

Now we are looking at adoption. The social worker is due to arrive in 2 weeks to talk us through the process and what it entails but we will be taking it slow. We have also done niyat to go for Hajj next year Insha'Allah and when we come back hopefully we will be all approved as adoptive parents and by this time next year Allah will have blessed us with a child through another means. 

I wish you all luck in your pursuit for a family, Sophie you are in my thoughts always and I draw a lot of strength from how strong you are and the trials you have been through. Maxi2 I pray that your child is a source of true pride and happiness for you always. Ameen. 

Please keep me in your duas. 

Nads


----------



## sophiekh

wa alaykum salaam

Nads sorry to hear it was another BFN.  Its brilliant that your husband is here to support and comfort you Masha'Allah.
It sounds like you have the right attitude and making plans for the future.  

Insha Allah the meeting goes well with the SW.

Please sisters can you keep me your duas too

xxxx


----------



## Maxi2

Nads so sorry to hear ur news.  Like Sophie has said u r blessed to have such a lovely husband, I know u take comfort in that.  I know it's hard right now and I really can understand what ur going through having spent years years 'accepting' our infertility.  We too went down the adoption route a few years ago (when we were told the was no treatment available for us). Unfortunately this was another door slammed shut as my dh has a criminal record (10 years ago, and has since not got into any trouble and runs his own business etc). I felt at a total loss, it was the lowest point in my life.  Now I can see it was not meant to be.  
In sha Allah ur journey will be a more positive one.  When we were considering adoption we thought about how the prophet pbuh was an orphan and how we may be given the opportunity to gain so much reward through providing a loving home to a child in need.  We humans are limited in seeing the reasons for our suffering, I remember a Hadith I heard it was about a man who constantly did dua throughout his life in regards to a certain thing, however it was never answered.  When he died Allah showed him his rewards, he asked what the reward was for as he felt he didn't do such good deeds to attain such massive rewards.  Allah answered that this reward was the answer to his 'unanswered' dua.  In reply to this the man said oh Allah if that was the case I wish u didn't answer any of my earthly duas.  
I wish u continued strength on ur journey nads, we truly don't know how much we can bear until we have to bear it.  Xxxx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam,

I have to repeat what others said about your husband - indeed a great man! Not only once I have seen couples adopt a child and then God gives them their own. Inshallah,  it will be the case with you as well. 
Lucky is a child whom you will adopt. It would be nice to get a baby since they need a lit of attention which is rarely given in orphanages. I realized that when I become a mother.  Babies need full dedication and most of the time such places don't have enough staff or those people can't give all what the babies need.  I was so sad when I started reading about those things. 
So, all the best and may Allah give to you and all the ladies on this board righteous offsprings.  Amin!


----------



## NadSi001

Thank you so much for your kind words ladies, I can't tell you how much it means to talk to other muslim women who are going through the same thing. You all make such valid points Islamically and I draw a comfort from that too. 

It doesn't change the fact that I may never have a child but it does lift my spirits that we can be here for each other and support each other through.

As my dad says, if duas didn't have the power to make a difference and change things then Allah would never decreed us to make duas to Him.

Stay strong my friends xx


----------



## Zara03d

Salaams all,

I have been on this forum for some time and today I find this post. I am grateful to Allah when I am at my lowest that I am shown a positive and supportive way to help me right now inshallah.  The ability to talk about this with others who understand your pain makes such a difference to me. It is sad to see how this journey affects so many women but I am so happy to find this forum where others share the same pain.

I am currently 34 years old living in UK having missed miscarried my first natural pregnancy in February 2013. 2 ERPC's later to remove baby which was buried after first ERPC at which I was given older anaestethic, severe reaction and trouble reviving me and was kept in hospital whilst my baby's buried was that day. 4 weeks later had 2nd ERPC as some baby tissue left behind. Now have severe Asherman Syndrome having privately had 2 hysteroscopies in August 2013 and October 2013 to be told at second hysteroscopy my journey to every carry my own baby was over as scarring regrowth was aggressive. I have been told that gestational surrogate is only way me and my husband will ever have our own biological baby.

In November 2013, I did test which showed for my age my AMH was slightly lower at 8.58.  Also that blood tests showed that I in fact have blood clotting issue and that is why my gorgeous baby lost its heartbeat.  Have been told if I ever fell pregnant then need to take prescription aspirin and some other blood thinning meds to keep my blood flowing. My husband was right it is bitter sweet having this information now rather than before falling pregnant.

I continued my planned trip to Umrah with my husband in April 2013 which was organised in 2012 prior to finding out was pregnant. I have also recently completed 21 days of Ruqayah.

Went to India in April 2014 with heavy heart to start gestational surrogate journey. No woman ever wants to do this and I questioned myself like my husband and our parents whether this was even accepted in Islam but we have no choice according to doctors.  We put our faith in Allah and took that step based on what was presented to us and from some research we had done and received.

We had first IVF cycle in India and only 4 eggs retreived of which 3 fertilised and on day 3 were all grade A. Birth control pill 21 days before flying and then Gonal F dose 225 so antagonist protocol. We did transfer of 2 embryos and BFN. Back in UK we asked for our 1 frozen embryo to be thawed and it went to 5 day blastocyst with grade 4AB which resulted in chemical pregnancy. No other frozen embryos remaining in India.

Last week completed NHS IVF cycle which was offered to me to freeze some embryos given the Asherman Syndrome caused to me at 2 ERPCs. Also India clinic told me to get my vitamin D level checked and also to start taking Co Q 10 100mg twice a day.

So IVF result from last week based on 4 being highest and this is from 8 eggs collected (double number eggs collected compared to earlier in India) with 4 having fertilised:-

1) 5 day blastocyst grade 4BB - now frozen

2) 5 day blastocyst grade 3BB - now frozen

3) 5 day blastocyst grade 3BC - now frozen

4) 6 day blastocyst grade 3DC - NOT frozen due to bad quality for inner mass of D and the C

Clinic told me not to be disheartened as I was worried about quality of eggs when only 4 of the 8 eggs fertilised and she said at blastocyst stage statistics are 30-50% become blastocysts. She said fact all 4 of mine became blastocysts I should not be worried about quality of embryo at this stage and that above is a positive outcome for IVF cycle for 34 year old woman.

Clinic also said had I had no blastocysts or only 1 on day 5 then they would have frozen the day 6 blastocyst grade 3DC but not necessary when 2 good quality and 1 borderline one frozen.

So putting this out to all you lovely ladies what do you make of my blastocyst results?

I'm glad this second ivf cycle completed I can now focus on looking at my lining again for next 3 months before deciding to hold on to blastocysts for me to carry in future or to ship to India for gestational surrogate. During my NHS IVF cycle I was on antagonist protocol and on day 2 of cycle took Gonal F dose 300 and on day 5 added Lueris 75 and Orgultran. Furthermore, NHS told me that my lining had reached 5mm with a uniform triple stripe. As lining did not increase any further in cycle NHS decided not to consider transfer as a miracle and back to option of freezing only in future use of gestational surrogate. I am trying not to feel completely useless and at a standstill so am going to consider my lining again and then see what happens.

I have also started to take 1 teaspoon of blackseed oil everyday. In my heart I desperately want a miracle where I can carry my own baby one day inshallah. I pray and make the same dua each time. Since February 2013 this has consumed me I am not the same person and I keep going each day as I try to keep my faith that things will work out for me and my husband one day inshallah.  I try to stay strong for my husband but there are times when things just get on top.  We are both emotionally, physically and financially drained.

On important dates like what would have been my baby’s due date, 1st anniversary of burial, first Eid etc I have been to the Muslim cemetery and simply sat in my car in the car park each time.  It must sound so sad but first time and each time after gave me some peace just like when pray.  Before going to India I went to the cemetery for last time and sat in car and when drove out made a dua that one day Allah would bless with a living baby so I did not have to come to visit the one I buried as being the only baby I ever had.

I have good days and bad days. Bad days when I think I am in this situation because a doctor has ruined my uterus and to point I become very emotional and have panic. I too sometimes just daydream and then reality hits this is actually happening.

The doctor who did this to me does not know what I am going through. My husband and I no longer have anger towards her but we are saddened that she and other doctors can perform ERPCs on women without consequences yet our path has changed completely.

I think I have waffled on quite and abit and if you got as far as the end I am so grateful for you taking the time to read my post.  May Allah bless us all with children and give strength to parents who have lost a child/children inshallah. Whatever our circumstances I pray Allah keeps our faith strong inshallah. Ameen.

Zara xx


----------



## NadSi001

Salaams Zara

There is so much sadness in you which comes through your post. I am so so sorry for what you have been through. It sounds absolutely harrowing. Allah tests those whom he loves the most. 

Blastocysts are good right? They have a higher chance of sticking than embies apparently - I was praying for blastocysts but didn't get any. The quality of my embies wasn't great and they didn't stick. You're one step ahead of me! 

My only sticking point is, and forgive me, I tell you because we are Muslims on this post and you mentioned you weren't sure, but I understood that Islam abhorrs surrogacy and that its not allowed. Essentially as the Imam explained to us my husband's sperm has no right to be in any other woman's body other than mine even if the embryo has been created - 'rent a womb' is not allowed. We also thought about it, we were desperate to try anything because I have killer cells (28% - highest ever recorded is 31%) so I essentially abort my own babies. Its quite horrific and devasting.

My husband and I were firm about one thing, if we were ever going to be parents it was going to be within the remits of Islam or not at all. I find I am at peace with my decision not to go down the surrogacy route, although I won't lie - I know how alluring it can be. Have you sought some Islamic advice on that? 

I am devastated that you couldn't be there for your baby's janaza. How utterly utterly heart wrenching. But all babies are janati, and perhaps that child was too good for this world? So Allah made his presence known and then took him back. He never does anything thats not for the betterment for us. They say on judgement day, its those young ones that we have lost that plead for our forgiveness and take us with them to Jannah as they refuse to go without their parents with whom they couldn't be in this world, and so Allah forgives the parents their sins and lets those children have their way - they take their parents to jannah. You have one such person waiting for you. Please take comfort from that and know that when Allah takes away from you that which you never imagined losing, he gives to you that which you never imagined owning. 

I hope nothing I have said has upset you further, I do wish you all the success in the world Zara. You are still young, there is still time. Who knows what will happen? Doctors don't know it all. 

Be strong, look forwards and please don't let this overcome you - your husband is by your side and Allah has you in His sights, you can do it xxx


----------



## positive4eva

Eid Mubarak ladies! Allah bless everyone with happiness and good children!

Xxx


----------



## chocoholic17

Khair mubarak  and ameen


----------



## sophiekh

Eid Mubarak to all.

May Allah swt bless you all and continue  to give you strength and patience during your journey to motherhood


----------



## chocoholic17

salaams all
I hope and pray you are all well..i know we are all on different stages of our journey and may Allah make it easy for us ..I just wanted to ask if anyone knew any duas that may be useful.i have just tested positive alhumdullilah btu I know ist a start of a journey


----------



## Maxi2

Vsalam
I recited certain names of Allah.  Also the manzil supplications are for warding off the evil eye.  I was also advised to recite surah muzamil, Rahmaan and Yasin.
Xxx


----------



## Maxi2

Oh and congrats


----------



## chocoholic17

jazakallah and congratulations to you too.


----------



## Tryingtobstrong2015

Congrats mrs Tq
Thanks Maxi  I try to read surah muzammil n yaseen regularly.  
But will try to read the others too x


----------



## chocoholic17

thanks trying to be strong2015


----------



## Hijabi

Salam all,

Sister Sophie, thanks for your reply. I have been busy and not had a chance to reply, since the last time i was on. You are welcome on here all the time, and your responses and experiences do really help us, so please keep coming on here for as long as you wish. You are in my duas. x

So lovley to hear that sister Mrs TQ and Maxi have babies on the way. Mayy allah swt grant you a happy healthy pregnancy and the child to bring you blessings in abandunce. Please do dua for us who are yet to concieve, as Allah swt readily accept duas from pregnant sisters.

Sister Nads, sorry to hear about what you have been through. Rmbr allah swt only burdens us with what we can bear, and allhumdullial this is your test. May allah grant you sabr and make your test easier to bear. Allhumdulillah your hubby sounds great, may he continue to be this way. You are planning to go to hajj! sounds amazing, may allah grant us all the abiity to go one day inshallah. Hopefully this will help you both, and inshallah I do dua your path for adoption is easier if it's right for you. 

Sister Zara, I hope your well? 

To all that wished Eid Mubarak, belated mubarak to you all.

Dear sisters, it's jumma today, and i do dua that allah swt grants us all pious children who may be the noor of our eyes, and if allah swt has not desitined this for us, then may he give us taqwa and sabr to deal with our destiny and make this test easy for us all. x


----------



## chocoholic17

hijabi thanks for your duas and amen will remember you all in my duas today.


----------



## In sha Allah

Salaamz all I was wondering if I could join this thread


----------



## sophiekh

wa alaykum salam  In sha Allah 

hope you are ok? hopefully others will be back on this thread
Im more than happy to offer (v limited  knowledge) help


----------



## In sha Allah

Hey sophiekh ..... Reading your signature so sorry about the marriage hope your pulling through my thoughts and prayers are with you sister


----------



## Hijabi

Salam All,

In Sha Allah, how are you sister? Welcome to the group. I come on every now and then when i'm low. Communicating on here helps.

May allah swt make the journey easy for you.

Sister Sophie, how are you? x


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum 

Hijabi and In sha Allah thanks for your message.. Im ok i guess alhumduillah.  Not quite used to being alone i guess. 

Is anyone having any treatment at the moment?


----------



## In sha Allah

My duas are with you all


----------



## Phatty

asalaamu aleykum sisters,

welcome In sha Allah. I'm not a regular poster but the ladies here are wonderful. I'm not sure what to do atm after a failed cycle in the summer. 
Hijabi that duaa you made was beautiful. That's what I keep trying to remind myself of. Maybe this is not what's destined for us. Allah has something bigger than us in store for us


----------



## In sha Allah

Salaamz phatty 
All we can do is have faith in our creator and just accept whatever lies in iur path 
But as we go along we also have to help our slfs a little ie the treatment we go through 

Was it your first cycle you had in the summer 
I had a failed cycle around about Easter time , we are just about to start our second and last treatment next week x in sha Allah


----------



## Phatty

In sha Allah that's true we should definately do all we can. For me though, there comes a point where I must take stock. This wasn't my first rodeo or even my second. Alhamdulillah I've gone through 7 cycles,the last few with different protocols,  a hysteroscopy, laproscopy, hijaamah, healthy eating etc. I feel I've already done so much to my body, is it worth it?


----------



## Phatty

I pray that everything goes well for you this cycle and that the best outcome for you in your dunya and aakhira happens


----------



## In sha Allah

Phatty I really feel for you 
Thus is all a test please don't give up it will defiantly be worth it 
Maybe give your body a rest for a while then think of restarting in sha Allah it will happen 
I will keep you in my prayers x


----------



## sophiekh

Phatty.  I can understand how difficult it is. This is a test for us. May Allah swt give us strength and sabr. 
I would have recommended healthy eating and cupping but seen you have tried that.
Have you been to umrah or  hajj yet.
Don't give up sister. Insha'Allah it will happen
How does your husband feel..are you able to speak to him about how you feel?

And I hope everyone else is doing well to insha'Allah


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam,

Phat type,  check the immune issued,  blood flow to uterus, insulin resistance,  thyroid.


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

Sophie, i can understand its hard for you. May allah swt help you in this time of transition.
Have you decided what you are going to do going ahead? Getting married again etc?

Phatty, I feel for you. I have not yet had any treatment, inshallah if no success by April will be going to the Drs.
I can appreciate how hard it is for you having undergone 7 cycles and no child.

I have a few close to me who are pregnant with ease, I know Allah swt tests us in different ways, so trying to remain strong and be grateful for Allahs blessings on me.


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salam
Thank you for duas
As for my next steps..I'm quite lost.  Don't know what to do.  
I don't think I'm ready for marriage and heart ache . If it's meant to be ...


----------



## Phatty

Thank you sisters...it's nice to know there are others who understand. Looking back on my posts I sound like a miserable cow! I promise I'm not. jzk Allahu khayran   

In sha Allah thanks for the encouragement. Maybe I will think about one last try

sophiekh alhamdulillah I have been to Hajj but would like to again soon insha Allah or for umrah. My husband has been good about this but men are different and deal with things differently. I try not to bring it up too much.
I wish the best for you in your next chapter sis, may Allah make things clear for you and bring you to a place of peace and happiness

cosmopolitan4112008 I've done a lot of tests before my last few treatments but they haven't found anything. I think even the doctors are confused lol

Hijabi a lot of things can change between now and april. And if you do need to go to the drs, insha Allah everything will go smoothly for you and you'll get some answers


----------



## sophiekh

Phatty -  I think we go a phase of being down and come across a being miserable. Its does become hard to see the positives, insha'Allah it will get easier in time. 

Alhumduillah its good to know that you have a supportive husband, that really helps in these types of situation.

May Allah swt make this easy for all of you, and bless you with healthy and pious and healthy offspring


----------



## In sha Allah

Hey ladies if anyone is local would be nice to meet up xx


----------



## sophiekh

In sha Allah sounds good, i tried to organise one yrs ago but for some reason it never happened..


----------



## Tryingtobstrong2015

Where are you girls from?


----------



## In sha Allah

If everyone's from birmingham then we could easily meet city centre of that's convenient for everyone


----------



## Phatty

I don't live in the UK but a meet up sounds really nice


----------



## In sha Allah

How about anyone else where do you live ?
I had my scratch yesterday and it wasn't as bad as I expected I did take 2 codeine though before I went lol 
Had teach appointment today hopefully start injections on Sunday and then off to Malaga on Monday 
Hope everyone else Is ok xx


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

I'm up north, so not sure if anyone else is at this end of the Uk?

It is hard to remain positive. 

Phatty, your right, and I have mostly good days atm, but really do feel the clock is ticking. I have agreed with hubby that we will go for tests etc in april if no joy. By which time we will have TTC for 2 years, but tbh, I'm scared. Scared of what we may find, and scared of the physical tests, as I know they are very invasive, an as a practising muslim, this will be difficult.

Sophie, its probably sensible for you to spend time on yourself. I hope your doing things for fun? Sometimes, we forget to be kind to ourselves. Inshallah Allah is the best planner, and his plan for you will be better.

In sha Allah, whats a scratch? it's stuff like this im dreading...glad to hear its not been too bad.


----------



## In sha Allah

Salaamz hijab I
A scratch is a endometrium scratch where they go in and damage the lining if your womb so it then has to go through a healing process
They say this healing process helps implantation in sha Allah 
The procedure it self is very quick and short but painful 
They use the procedure like when u gave a smear test where they open the neck of your womb then go in through a spectrum then poke u and scratch the lining of your womb for about a minute 
Please make dua for me


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam

Hope u ladies are well insha'Allah 
All the best the treatment girls.
Alhumduillah doing ok. Have my good and bad days. 
It would be nice to met up but I'm too far from you ladies ..You should definitely arrange something. Talking to people who know what you are going really helps. Unfortunately sisters/friends who have had it easy don't quite grasp the emotional and physical hardships we go through


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

I hope you are all well. 

Sophie, I know what you mean about good and bad days.  I feel like atm. Last few months I have been fine, but the last 2 weeks, I have felt quite low. I think I am about to start my period. Its strange, but since TTC I am now so in tune with body, that I can actually tell when I am about to start, without any physical signs.

Your right Sophie, it would be good to have a meet up. TTC is such a lonely experience.  But I think we all live in different sides of the world. 

Inshallah, thanks for explaining. How are you doing atm? I see you've been trying for 6 years. May Allah swt continue to give you sabr. We have been TTC for just under 2, and it is really hard. We have both decided to go for tests in April, but I keep doing dua that I fall pregnant. But nothing as yet. All my friends and loved ones either have children or are going to give birth this year. I am trying hard to not let my own sadness stop me from spending time with them, but recently I am finding it hard.  I hate feeling so low and down, as it's not in my character to be like this.

Last night I went to visit my in laws, and my sis in law was their with her baby. Everyone was running around after him. Mashallah it was nice. I came home feeling very empty and that in some way I am letting my in laws down. My mil has been better recently and for some reason has stopped making her comments, but i still know what she is thinking 'that i wish she gave me a gran kid'. I don't think it's just that, it's the feeling of emptiness that I can't get rid of atm. It's not good. I have started to be lazy with salah and even when i pray i don't feel anything. Do any of you ever get like that?

Feeling sorry for my self... Hijabi.


----------



## In sha Allah

Salaam all

Hijabi..... It's ok to have down days but only salaah can keep you positive and zilkhr I know how u feel but remember this is a test allah tests those who heibes most and you must stay strong within your prayer 
It will slowly get better x In sha allah 

I had a scan a few days ago and lining is at 2.3mmm so now on menopour scan now own Wednesday then maybe ec Friday in sha Allah


----------



## Sehar Khan

Asalam o alikum ladies,
Hope you won't mind me bothering you.. I came across religious forum while browsing this website, never saw it before. Anyways, just want to say you guys keep your heads up, say prayer and specially 2 hajat nafal everyday, and hazrat zikerya dua, as well as hazrat Ibraheem dua and Surah Mariam.. 
It does happen, just a bit of time and patience, I know its easy said then done. I am alhamdulilah pregnant even though I lost all hope when my last IVF failed. 
Good luck to all you lovely ladies, I will keep an eye on this forum as well if you guys don't mind.


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam

I was wondering if any sisters are able to help. I need to advice to decide whether I should continue ttc if I do get married in the future.
I have recently got a copy of all my medical notes from gps/hospital so I can see if it's worth seeing a natural doctor or another consultant.
So I know that my tubes are blocked. That's definite. I've had 2 tests to confirm this.  Now the PCOS is a difficult one..I have looked through my records and there has always been some confusion regarding this. At one point it was misdiagnosed. Then it wasn't. Now there are no signs of it according my recent scan and bloods.
I've lost about 1.5. Stones and should probably lose another 1 stone (if I want to remarry). I'm now worry mainly about my age and the chances of conceiving are low as I get older (and the fact I have issues)
I know my weight and diet change are the most important but is there anything else I should look into before giving up completely


----------



## Maxi2

Salaam Sophie 
I really do hope u don't give up on ttc. I know that uve had a very hard journey but alhamdullilah u are coming out the other side now.  It's nice to hear u talking about remarriage, maybe this is what Allah planned for u.  I know it's easy to say but everything does happen for a reason, we can plan all we like but Allah is the best of planners. Remember that our duas are responded to in three ways; accepted, not accepted but given something better or u are rewarded in the next life.  Maybe Allah didn't plan for u to have children with ur previous husband and that u'll find someone immensely better.  You know most of ur medical details now so u'll be able to commence treatment straight away and with someone who is deserving of u. 
I sometimes think why did it take me and my hubby 13 years to have a child but now looking back we had so many problems and issues, it is only now that we are strong maybe Allah delayed it for us for thin reason.  At the time though I didn't care I just wanted a baby, I guess we're only human and can only see our  immediate needs and desires.  
We were told several times that it  is impossible for us to have biological children, even the hospital that treated us had previously told us we could not have children. That there was no way, that my hubby had 0 sperm. Look how Allah made a way subhanAllah. 
Keep strong Sophie xxx


----------



## RUBY123

Salam
I like to join the thread , it's the first time I notice this forum, I live in Jordan , but my last cycle was at ARGC, as I lost hope after many failed cycles with no good reason , so I went to UK to seek explanation but I still I got no where !


----------



## shayv

Hi ruby welcome and sorry to hear about ur long journey. Inshallah there is light at the end of the tunnel. As hard as it is to see right know. Who know perhaps ur snow babies are waiting for u. 
Wish you the best of luck and when r u planning to cycle again?


----------



## RUBY123

Thank you , next month inshallah , I'm waiting for my immune test results, if everything is ok , I will go for it , last cycle I stayed in London for a whole month , it was the first time I leave my country for such a long time , staying in hotel is not that fun after one week.


----------



## shayv

Thats true its tough living it out at hotel. Ur patience will be rewarded.let me know when u are bak in london we could meet up.


----------



## RUBY123

I will inshallah  It will be wonderful if you meet.i got really bored last time , at the beginning it was fun sight seeing but later I felt like I'm in prison . Thank you for your support


----------



## shayv

Ur welcome  anytime my gorgeous! Keep well


----------



## sophiekh

As salam alaykum 
Ruby. .insha'Allah you will get some answers from the immunity tests. It's hard when you have no answers as such. There are a few sisters here who are based in London. Insha'Allah they can meet you whilst you are here.


----------



## RUBY123

Thanx Sophie , well I got the results of immune test today, and everything is perfectly fine , like every cycle since I started ivf, great quality embryos, always a blast, great lining , everything is text book ,this time I'm going to try PGS , I honestly wish they find something wrong. Just to have some kind of peace of mind.


----------



## sophiekh

Masha'Allah thats good news - i know it must be difficult not knowing the exact reason - because you dont know how to fix or resolve the issue.  

I hope that that the next treatment will be a sucessfull one insha'Allah


----------



## sadCat

Assalamu alaykum everyone!

Hope you're all doing well. I'm new to FF so please bear with me..

Ruby, I'm considering fertility tx with ARGC but have read mixed reviews about the place. How did you find them so far?

I've done tests with my NHS GP and all the results were normal. Waiting for my husband's SA results now.

Ughh childlessness can be so stressful.. May Allah make it easy for all of us. xx


----------



## RUBY123

Salam sad cat, even though I had a failed cycle with them but I think they done there best , I'm kind of hopeless case, they monitor you very well , they change the dose of medicin each day, overall I think they are the best , you are talking to someone who tried all best clinics in Jordan and Jerusalem .


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Ruby, Jordan is an old school.  Some drs are trying now to get to know more, but financially are restricted because even the patient's wouldn't be able to pay costs of some very expensive tests.in difficult cases,  an experienced reproductive immunologist is needed.


----------



## sadCat

Sorry to hear that Ruby. I pray that you won't lose hope. Hmm I don't know much about Jordan but I don't fancy going to Jerusalem for obvious reasons lol.


----------



## RUBY123

I'm going to try PGS on the frozen embryos,maybe there is problem in the embryos that they can't see unless they test it, I'm open to any test in the world. Inshallah if this cycle doesn't work at least I'll have some answers.


----------



## sophiekh

RUBY123 - PGS sounds like a good idea, I think the issue is that with any treatment iVF/IUI..The doctors do not know how your body will react to the drugs, how many eggs you will get or the quality, and without monitoring closely and the additional testing its hard to know what the next steps.

Insha'Allah the next round of treatment will be sucessful. Sisters never give up hope


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

If your embryos were not at a stage of blastocysts,  the testing might be misleading because they wouldn't have enough cells to test.


----------



## RUBY123

Salam Cosmo,
They are all a blast. I'm going to test half of them about seven, I already discussed it with embryologist , to be honest it was my idea to do PGS! They don't think there is reason to do it. But I'm just looking for any test to do, the thing is that I can afford it , so if they ask me to test my brain I will go for it lol


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

You are clever to test them. Even if both of you are young and no family history,  it is a fact that all those medications and hormones affect the eggs. So, well done. Wish you success this time!  Salaam


----------



## honeyz

Hi all. I got pregnant naturally at the age of 43,gave birth one month shy of 44 and delivered a healthy baby girl.The only other time I got pregnant was a year before but I miscarried at 7 weeks that time.Prior to that I had done multiple iuis and 5 ivfs . Including immunes at argc. Non of them worked.I hope this gives some one hope it can happen. I cant believe im writing this as iv searched and searched success stories for years and never ever imagined I would be writing one.I took vit d3 . pure fish oils. multi vit.Also green smoothies every day.I cut out wheat on and off. (its hard)I pray Allah give you all healthy babies AMEEN.


----------



## honeyz

For some reason my post is not coming up.
Iv written my success story in over 40s success stories.
I just wanted to give some one hope. 
I pray Allah gives you all success Ameen


----------



## Haydan

Hi Honeyz, i have corrected your previous message so that it now shows - i think there was an issue with the font size coding.


----------



## Maxi2

Salam ladies
I just wanted to announce the birth of my beautiful daughter, born last week, 11 days overdue weighing 8.3lbs. She is a true miracle and I still can't believe she's here alhamdullilah.  We've had such a long hard journey, had given up hope of our own children, even got turned down for adoption. There have been such dark times.  I just wanted to say keep the faith sisters, our prayers are indeed answered one way or the other. 
Thank u for all the advice and support on this thread xxxx


----------



## honeyz

Many Many  congrats maxi2.  
Enjoy your baby. 
You deserve it


----------



## sophiekh

Dear Sister Maxi

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter, insha'Allah you are both doing well


----------



## tulip11

Salam sisters
We are trying since 2011 but no success . When we both did tests so my husband sperm count came out zero. That was in 2013 indeed we were heart broken but anyway the journey started and every test came out normal except high fsh which was 13.2 before now it get reduced to 11. Then we are referred to sheffield and done up with TESA so no sperm found and recently last week we got the lab report that my husband has sertoli cell only syndrome. So dr is saying that we will carry out micro tese and out of 300 + men with this syndrome so in 46 % they found sperm. We both are totally devastated as you know everyone keep asking why dont you have babies etc etc. We both love babies so much. I am on this forum since long time but today I found out this thread sisters. 

Congratulations to all those who have babies now after this hard journey and my duaas are with all of you who are still struggling.  Anyone here whose husband had sertoli cell syndrome and found sperm. JazakaAllah khair in advance.


----------



## sophiekh

As Salam alaykum 
Tulip sorry to hear about the issues you and your husband are a facing. May Allah swt make it easy for you both. I don't really know much about male inferility issues...hopefully someone on here may able to help you. Don't give up. ..This journey is tough but Insha'Allah you will get there one way or another 

I hope others are doing well Insha'Allah


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters, 

I pray you are all well. Mubarak to all the sisters on the joyous news of their babies. Allhumdulillah it gives me hope that Allah swt has blessed you after such a long time. Allah swt is the best of planners, and we must remember our patience will be rewarded.

Tulip, I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have been rying for 2 years and no luck. we have just started going to GP and so far all fine for me, my husband now needs to provide a sperm sample. So after that we will know more.

We are in Sheffield. Are you local sister?

Have sabr sister, our people ask lots of questions, I just say to people to do dua for me and that allah knows best. I really believe that and then they have nothing else to say. I think most of them want me to tell them what is wrong with us, but that is none of their business. I have not told any of my family about us going for tests as our families can not keep anything secret, so even tho i feel isolated, this is the best way.

Sister, may allah swt give you and all of us strength to pass this difficult test. Remember me in your duas please. x


----------



## tulip11

Hijabi said:


> Salam sisters,
> 
> I pray you are all well. Mubarak to all the sisters on the joyous news of their babies. Allhumdulillah it gives me hope that Allah swt has blessed you after such a long time. Allah swt is the best of planners, and we must remember our patience will be rewarded.
> 
> Tulip, I am sorry to hear about your situation. I have been rying for 2 years and no luck. we have just started going to GP and so far all fine for me, my husband now needs to provide a sperm sample. So after that we will know more.
> 
> We are in Sheffield. Are you local sister?
> 
> Have sabr sister, our people ask lots of questions, I just say to people to do dua for me and that allah knows best. I really believe that and then they have nothing else to say. I think most of them want me to tell them what is wrong with us, but that is none of their business. I have not told any of my family about us going for tests as our families can not keep anything secret, so even tho i feel isolated, this is the best way.
> 
> Sister, may allah swt give you and all of us strength to pass this difficult test. Remember me in your duas please. x


wasalam

No I lives in Bradford but we got appointments in Sheffield . Ameen JazakAllah khair sister.


----------



## tulip11

sophiekh said:


> As Salam alaykum
> Tulip sorry to hear about the issues you and your husband are a facing. May Allah swt make it easy for you both. I don't really know much about male inferility issues...hopefully someone on here may able to help you. Don't give up. ..This journey is tough but Insha'Allah you will get there one way or another
> 
> I hope others are doing well Insha'Allah


wasalam sister
JazakAllah khair sister  stay blessed


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

How is everyone doing?

AF came again this month. Feeling down. The fact we are now going through tests is making this more real and painful.
Hubby due to go for SA. I didn't think he would, but he is being brave about it all. May allah stw reward him.
I feel frustrated with the process of being referred to the hospital. We have to wait for hubbys results before we can be referred, and even then it's an 18 week wait! I'm concerned about the actual tests on me, as i know it will be painful. emotionally and physically.

MIL has restarted her nagging and questioning. I told her that in islam you shouldn't ask personal questions and that we are not children and will do what we need to. She doesn't get it, and I'm sure her nagging is going to get worse. May allah swt give me sabr to deal with her.

Hope all the other sisters are well and being strong.


----------



## sophiekh

wa alaykum salaam Hijabi

Insha'Allah i hope that your husbands test go ok.  I think its a step in the right direction, I am a firm believer that there is cure for these fertility issues, we just need to get past all these hurdles first. 
I know the process seems long and somewhat tiring, patience patience patience. I think thats one thing learnt from the whole process!

MIL - i think you have replied with the correct response, thats all you can say. Dont let it get to you!

Keep us updated, if you need to talk we are all here for you insha'Allah


----------



## Hijabi

Jazakhallah khair for the reply Sophie. your right the lesson here is most certainly about patience. alllah does test us in different ways. This forum really helps me cope when i feel down. Inshallah I do dua hubbys test come back ok. but i understand that this is just the start, the tests alone can take a year. my job is very busy and helps me to not dwell on things too much, but there are days when i do get low. It makes it really hard becasue i have no one that I can talk to or that I trust. 

Sophie, I often think about you. I hope you are well and looking after yourself.

I hope all the other sisters are well, may allah swt grant us all with pious childrne and give us sabr whilst we are going through this test. x


----------



## sophiekh

Thanks Hijabi. I'm alot better now...I still have low days but I guess that's life. 
I've been looking into possibly going Pakistan to get unblocked Or adopt.


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sophie,

I'm pleased to hear your doing well. Sounds like you are optimisitc about the future which is good allhumdulillah. 
As long as you are having more high days then low days then thats got to be a good thing.
Adoption sounds good. would you do that alone? How would your family be with that? Mashallah your so brave. May allah swt bless you.
If you need us, we are here.

Allhumdulillah this forum helps me so much.


----------



## sophiekh

wa alaykum salaam
I am looking to all options to be honest, I know people think I am naive - but i still want to be mother - I would look into all halal ways of doing so.
If i have to do it alone, then Qadr Allah. Being divorced and infertile in our culture doesnt really help, I think some think I should marry someone older and forget about children or be a second wife.

Adoption whether from here or aboard is very hard - its a long process and I need to have alot in place (accommadation and savings). Also with alot of the forms (for pakistan) it was asking for husband details...So i really need to investigate properly

I dont want to give up,


----------



## daisy17

Salaam ladies

I haven't been on here in a long time! Alhumdillah Allah blessed us with a daughter in 2012, and I haven't been on here since. 

I just want to say pls don't give up! Keep praying and have belief and trust in Allah. We tried and tried for many years... Then finally we had our miracle. 

I've now just gone through fet again and will get the results soon inshallah. 
The problem with us, is that I have endometriosis and pcos my husband has low sperm count and low mortality rate! So with both combined u can imagine how long we've tried! Alhumdillah it worked out and we are waiting for results next week to test again! 

So please don't give up stay strong!


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum daisy congratulations on daughter. .
Insha'Allah I hope that the fet is successful !!
Thanks for the lovely reminder.  .I hope all our duas are answered


----------



## daisy17

What's everyone doing on this long weekend? Hope u all find time to relax and enjoy ur selves!


----------



## sophiekh

the long weekend was too long! 
How was your is current treatment going daisy?


----------



## Sehar Khan

Asalam o alikum all..
I opened this website after 3 months, as my baby is 3 months old and settled alhamdulilah..
Congratulations daisy..
yes long weekend became very long with guests, cooking and cleaning.
how are you all?


----------



## sophiekh

wa alaukum salaam
sehar congratugaltions on the birth of your daughter mashaAllah


----------



## daisy17

Sehar congratulations!! 

My treatment is going ok... It's fet and I test on Friday, just the usual sore boobs and cramps worried af might show up on Sat I just have a feeling it hasn't worked this time, 😕 but it's all up to ALlah swt so u never know! 

How is everyone else with their treatment or where r u all up to?


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters. Jumma Mubarak to you all.

Daisy and Sehar, congratualations on your happy news. Jazakhallah khair for sharing, gives me hope hearing your stories. Allah tests us all in different ways.

Sophie, I can appreciate where you are coming from. Our people are harsh and unless they have been through this, they do not truly understand. May allah swt give you sabr and guide you to the best things that is good for in this life and the next. Adoption is not easy, emotionally and then physically with all the documents and finanical info you need to present.  Keep us posted on how you are doing.

As for me, things are going slowly. Huby been for SA, just waiting on results. He was told it will take upto 3 weeks. Once we get these then can be referred to GP. It is taking so long. I am finidng myself feeling frustrated and emotional, but trying to stay strong for hubby. Inshallah looking fwd to ramadan, doing lots of dua and hope allah swt forgives me and accepts my duas.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

As salaam alaykom, 

Although I haven't had any personal experience, but I can see that many ladies are praising Serum clinic in Greece.  Even price wise they are acceptable. After my dr, isee them to vbe most thorough ones in this field.
This was just a thought for those of you who are still struggling and don't have a clear direction or answers.

wish you success and end of journey soon, inshallah.


----------



## daisy17

Salaam ladies

Inshallah u are all well, I've been ok, I've had very bad cramps and sore boobs these past couple of days and past 2-3 days very nuaseu, I did a hpt this morning Alhumdillah it came up positive I also had an appt they did a blood test to confirm so Alhumdillah all good news from me! 😊


----------



## sophiekh

As saalaam alaykum

Hijabi - I hope you get some good news at your next appointment insha'Allah. Whatever the outcome, you will be able to find out what the next stops.

cosmopolitan4112008 -  I hope you are doing well, I hav e previously spoken to Penny at Serum and she is pretty good at responding to questions.

Daisy - Masha'Allah the results and symptoms sound positive, keep us posted insha'Allah

I hope everyone is ok?


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam Alaykum
Ramadan Kareem to all my wonderful sisters, I pray that Allah swt eases our hardships and sorrows.. May we be blessed with countless blessings.
You are all in by duas..Always


----------



## Hijabi

w'salam sister sophie, ramadan mubarak to u all too. sister sophie, how r u doing?
hows everyones fastig going? allhmdulilh mine has been ok so far, im now off from work for 2 weeks.
I have finally got my first appoinment at the hospital, not sure what they will do. i have head theyjust ask questions and book you in for further tests. feels lke it all takes so long. i am not looking forwsard to the questnos from family over eid abot why we have not got children. never know what to say

i look atothers around me and having children has been so easy for them. please rmember me in your duas, may allah swtmake this test easy for all ofus.


----------



## baby maryam

As salamo alaykum dear sisters.
I haven't been on here forever. I was reading through the last few pages ... 
Hoping Ramadan is going well for everyone here. It's the 27th day so mashallah it's almost over 


We have gotten out of Libya in August 2014 due to some clashes in Tripoli and have been in Belgrade since. My husband found work and we found a decent appartment too. Still hoping that some day things in Libya will get better- in the meantime we are staying close to my family.
Hanna is now 2 yrs and 10 mts old. She is quite a character mashallah. Keeps us going. 
I am thinking to try another round of IVF. We were supposed to do FET in August last year in Tripoli but the war surprised us and we had to quit on that. So here we are thinking to do our blood tests all over and try fresh with a totally new clinic. 


How is everyone else doing? Congratulations on the new babies on board mashallah...


Love you all. Your sister Baby Maryam


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam Alaykum

Baby Maryam - it is so good to hear from you masha'Allah. Im sorry you have had to move from home, but you sound happy and safe now alhumduillah. Insha'Allah I hope the next cycle is sucessfull. 

Hijabi - Hope you are doing well sis? Tomorrow be eid insha'Allah. Fasting is goinhg ok Alhumduillah. I am working tomorrow. which I dont mind. I prefer to be on my own, the last 2 eids have emtionally difficult.
Insha'Allah all your tests go ok


----------



## Hijabi

Salam all,
Eid mubarak to everyone when ever you are celebrating it.

Baby Maryam - good to hear from you, glad to hear you and little one are doing well. It seems a different world where you are, bless you, having to deal with wars and moving houses etc. May allah swt make it easy for you and protect you. Hope the new clinic goes well.

Sister Sophie, alhumdulillah im ok, AF arrived today, so no joy again this month but at least we have the hospital appointment next month to get us started. I don't even bother with OPK or HPTs as i am so in tune with my body i know when its due to arre.  If it's in our rizq then allah swt will bless us. Just need to remember to have patience and be grateful for what we have. Inshallah i hope your Eid goes better this year, even if you are working. 

Hope everyone else is ok.x
Love and duas.


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum sister

Hope you had a nice eid. I would say you do need lots sabr and a good support network. 
I think most of the sisters have had childrens, but site used to be my only support network
Never stop making dua, never stop having hope.


----------



## daisy17

Salaam sisters hope you are all well inshallah, hope Ramadan went well and Allah set accepts all your Duas.

As for me you all know that I posted a couple months back and result was positive, unfortunately a had a miscarriage. It was a very long and difficult process as it took 1 1/2 weeks for it all the happen. I had a bleed and sharp pains went o hospital, the couldn't see for sure if it was ectopic or miscarriage or if everything was ok, so I had to go every other day for regular bloods and monitoring... Hcg was slowly going down by then end of the week. In the end they said it miscarriage but didn't all come out until couple days later! 

Sorry if too much info! 

Anyway it's taken me time to get past it... And inshallah we are going for our last embryos left! I'm currently waiting for af which never comes, been given pro era to bring it on but so far nothing!

So I will keep you all posted!


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum Daisy
Hope you are ok? Sorry to hear about your loss.
I hope and pray that the next cycle is successful 
Hope all the other sisters are doing well to
This thread has become too quiet


----------



## tulip11

Salam sisters

Hope and pray that you all would be doing well insha Allah 

Me and my hubby are passing through a very difficult phase of our lives. As hubby has been diagnosed with sertoli cell syndrome only .
Everything is in Allah hands we cant do anything, we can just pray for hope for the best


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam sister Tulip, i am sorry to hear about the diagnosis, i dont know much about this..is it something that can be treated?
I hope that you find ease in your hardship insha'Allah, keep on praying and always hope for the best in whatever the situation may be.
Yes it is very quiet on here. I hope the others to come back again.

Keep in touch sis


----------



## daisy17

Salaam ladies

Tulip I'm very sorry to hear about ur husband diagnosis, I haven't heard of this is it uncommon and is it treatable? I'm praying for u inshallah something can come about. 
Sophia how is everything with yourself? 

It is very quiet on here, I have to admit that sometimes I forgot about this and I feel I need to talk to someone, it does help me. 
I have been having problems with my marriage... It's very difficult to explain, we both love each other very much but there are times and situations that are very tough for us. We have started our next treatment for fer inshallah it'll work this time. This is also part of the strain on us financially as we are in process of buying and moving house. My husbands work is stressing him out too so he doesn't spend much time with me the time he is free he gets called out by his friends! 
Anyway inshallah I'm hoping with time things should get better and this cycle to work inshallah Allah swt will bless us with a child. Otherwise I have decided to leave it for a couple of years or not even to go for ivf again. I have explained to my husband that if Allah wills it will happen. But if Allah has just blessed us with 1 child then I'm happy with that! 
At the end we can only pray and whatever is in our kismat will happen we shall accept it


----------



## sophiekh

As Salaam Alaykum

Eid Mubarak All
I hope and pray Allah eases our pains and blesses us one day with pious and healthy off spring!! AMEEN


Hope everyone is doing ok? Although Im still not married (yet) - I have seen the Drs again in the hope that there might some other treatment i can look at.  My periods are back - but no as regular, ive lost about 2 stones and apparently i dont have PCOS ! So my vit d and folic acid is so low - so i need to take meds. And I am waiting to have scan to check everything else


----------



## mrs darcy

Aoa sisters. I haven't posted here for months, maybe years! I found it a source of comfort once and wanted to pop by, say hello, catch up and offload my thoughts. 

Just to summarise.. I've been married (and ttc) for 10 years, my daughters 3 years old. Done IVF and IUI various times, lost track of the number, each time I get worn down (emotionally and physically) a little bit more. 

I realise I am very fortunate and blessed to have my little girl. But would dearly love a sibling for my girl. Husband and family are keen too ... no pressure then...  

We have to pay for ICSI now, money is tight, life is tough with work and home routine ... on top of that I feel like I am a terrible person      Various friends and family members have had children easily, they decide to get pregnant and 1-2 months later, achieve their goal. I say the right things, but I don't feel truly happy for them?? At my end I have to struggle and agonise over the cost, finances, work, TTC, injections, endless Dr appointments and questioning from everyone about when I'm going to have another. Why am I becoming so bitter and ungrateful? Why cant I just be happy for others?? Please Allah give me patience. Recently my SIL breezily announced her fifth pregnancy mashallah. Why did this news kill me on the inside? Why cant I be happy for her? I try to stop comparing myself to those that are better off... just can't help it.  Recently her 5th pregnancy is all I can think about.. like i'm fixated by it. 

I have no-one to talk to about my fertility struggle and innermost thoughts.. was hoping you guys would be a kind ear... sorry for self indulgent post and hope you guys are ok.


----------



## daisy17

Salaam ladies

Mrs Darcy I know how u feel, even though I have been blessed with a daughter I had a long time feeling resentful and jealous in a way that ppl could get pregnant so easily and be popping out kids... This is even before I knew I had to have ivf! Once ivf procedure started I became hopeful and we were blessed.. 
I'm now in that same position again desperately wanting a sibling for my child. Having had 2 miscarriages and now on my final batch of embryos on my 2ww now, I still don't see much hope! 
Ppl are always asking why are u not having a 2nd child y the wait don't h want more kids... It breaks my heart every time someone says that to me.. I've even been told I'm selfish for not giving my child a sibling!!   

It's all in allahs hands I can only hope and pray!


----------



## sophiekh

Thinking of you Sisters. I can't imagine how difficult it is. May Allah swt give us all ease. These trials can be hard :-(


----------



## mrs darcy

salaams all. 

thanks so much for replying. I feel better already. glad to have people to talk to. 

sophiek - thank you for your kind words and dua.

daisy17 - I really hope you get to give your little girl a sibling very soon! im so so sorry about the miscarriages. the 2ww is awful isn't it? I go through the usual routine, smiling and acting normal, all the while in turmoil and agony on the inside and praying that its not bad news again. 

only my husband and mum know about the fertility treatment. I haven't shared with anyone else at all. I feel like I cannot talk to anyone about it, really. husband and mum would worry and stress too much. I feel protective about husband as he has low sperm count and I don't want him to feel responsible for my sadness or feel inadequate at all so I don't give anyone at all any inkling that there is a fertility problem. (I just told my mum its unexplained infertility). 

i hate the person ive become. so bitter and jealous. i smile and say all the right things, i pretend to be a nice person & i go through the motions but im not. im so fixated on my SIL. she doesn't have to worry about fertility, money, work, injections or anything and she is able to have a 5th kid - cos she wanted to. not an accident, not a surprise, not difficult to get pregnant, very much a wanted and planned baby (mashallah). really, why am i being so ridiculous? how does her situation affect me?! why cant I get over myself? sorry im just here to offload. i feel very alone. 

at least i have my little girl. i am not ungrateful to have a healthy funny bubbly daughter. i felt the pain & embarassment of being childless  for so so many years, that I cant forget it, and I wont stop being grateful to Allah SWT for this blessing.

hugs love and dua to all here.


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum Mrs Darcy

The last paragraph regarding the feelings and bitterness really resonates with me, I have felt every feeling you felt and was fortunate then to have my husband to talk to about it. I would be fixated about others ease of failing pregnant and having the "perfect family". I remember when my sister fell pregnant after one IVF I felt so adequate as I had two failed cycles. Alhumduillah you have been blessed with beautiful and healthy daughter, and I completely understanding still wanting more - to make your family complete. 

Sometimes I vent - ALOT- and I keep forgetting I need to be patient and be grateful.  The worse thing is- this is advise others to do all the time and somehow cant take my own advice.  

I still hold sadness in my heart over the ivf and my ex husband. I just pray that we both get what our heart desires one day


----------



## mrs darcy

Sophiekh

So sorry to hear about your circumstances and history (I really hope that does not come across as patronising). Why did your husband leave (you don't have to answer this). Are you hoping to get married again or taking a break? I'm sorry I feel selfish & ungrateful for whingeing when I have my little girl. I'll make lots of dua that you have righteous children and a supportive husband.

I come here to vent. I feel sensitive/protective about my husband. Yes I do talk to him, but not freely, as I don't want to hurt his feelings or remind him about our issues when there is no need. Also we are trying to work out other 'issues' between us so I have to pick and choose the most important things! Hope that makes sense. 

Feel so lost and inadequate sometimes. Literally everyone in my family is v fertile! (mashallah) They all have lots of kids within years of being married. I'm so fed up of putting on a smile/brave face when they ask about me having another (some even tell me I have to have a boy?!). I feel angry sometimes. I just want to shout out - WE HAVE FERTILITY PROBLEMS LEAVE ME ALONE. I can't. There would just be 100 more questions lol. 

Anyway. I feel better now. Lol. My next apt is next week to discuss the next IVF/ISCI options. So so tired of the internal exams and appointments and injections and all. I would like to take a break from it all, but ill be 36 next year and it took 7 years to have my daughter!!

lots of love to all X


----------



## sophiekh

Mrs Darcy



Husband left because of the infertility - he couldn't cope. Towards the end we were not both coping. I dont know if I would get married again soon, you never know what Allah swt has planned. My hearts is still in pieces over the divorce to be honest.


I think we are similar in way, I would talk to my husband about it - but not too much. I knew work and family life would often stress him out. I would do as much as I could alone so that not to stress him out. I was also too scared and ashamed to tell family, everyone we knew who married after us had atleast one child. 

I do think we to tend to feel sentiive and guarded more about our issues. Venting to people who have experienced the same always help. Because they understand how tiring it can all be. 

Insha'Allah I hope the next appointment goes well.  Keep us posted


----------



## mrs darcy

Sophiek - thanks for replying. May Allah SWT make things easy for you.

I’d like to keep posting here, for hand-holding, support, etc. Starting my IVF journey next week. Im scared and excited in equal measure. But sad that I cant talk about it to anyone so Ill post here. Got my nurses appointment re injections next week. Dr has recommended ICSI. We have very little money, so everything is riding on this. I’ll be so gutted if  its unsuccessful. So sick of seeing other people get pregnant, have babies etc. Its such a terrible thought I know. I cant help it.

Im on a diet now, would like to lose a stone or half a stone. Eating a bit better too. On top of everything, the financial side is stressing me out terribly. Please make dua for me sisters. XXX

PS - Can anyone tell me what to do about frozen embryos? Are we allowed to use/discard embryos like this? I heard there was some guidance/discussion about muslims views on fertilised embryos?


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum 

Mrs Darcy - insha'Allah this cycle is a success.  Try not to stress too much at the moment, focus on doing what is best for you and your husband right now to make this a sucessfull cycle.  I know how hard it is to go through this when you have noone to speak, this is a good opportunity to turn to Allah swt.  Sit and talk to him - ask him for patience and for good whatever the outcome.  It is good that you are on diet and eating better, that will also help as-well.

Im not sure about whether you are allowed to discard unused embryos, how long do they keep them for? I know you have to pay for storage?  Insha'Allah one of the other sisters can come back and answer. I never had any to freeze

Will be keeping you all in my duas. Please remember me too as some days I find life difficult and feel my emaan faltering


----------



## Dee55

Salam Alikom Mrs Darcy,

In regards to your question about frozen embryos, a Sheikh from the Azhar mosque in Egypt said frozen embryos can be used by you or disguarded but can not be donated to another person to use. 

Good luck with your treatment/journey. Inshallah Allah will bless you.

Stay strong Sophiekh x


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum sis.
Please  can you keep me in your duas as um being referred to a cancer specialist


----------



## mrs darcy

Salaams all. Sorry for my absence was really busy these last few days. 

sophiekh - I'm so so sorry to hear this sis. What has happened? Yes of course I will keep you in my duas. Your words have given me so much comfort over the last few weeks. Please keep me posted. Cancer treatment is so advanced and successful these days please keep strong and positive (I know this is easier said than done). Thank you for your personal message - yes of course I will be in touch - at work at the moment. 

Dee55 - Thank you so so much for this information. I will research it some more so I can discuss with my husband. Yes we would not donate to another person or give up the embryos for research. (Does anyone else feel a bit guilty about this? I always say "no" to research or students - but I'm aware that I am benefitting (inshallah) from this treatment as other people have consented to take part in research and given up their own eggs/embryos for research purposes... maybe I'm overthinking it)

Gosh this is really a heart wrenching website/thread. Everyone is going through such a hard time and I have only empty words to say to you all. Please keep posting - at least we can be there for each other. X


----------



## Maxi2

Salaam
Sophie so sorry to hear this.  U have been so strong over the last few years and I've always admired ur strength. I know how hard it can be to continue to put a brave face on things and just to keep going at times. Be sure that ur sabr will be rewarded. U are in my prayers xxx


----------



## sophiekh

Thank u for your lovely messages. I'm not sure what I'm still doing here. I guessed I had hoped certain things would have changed.

After my last IVF they found abnormal cells on my womb and in had to defer the treatment for a yr whilst it was being treated with provera and subquentently the coil. After a hysterscopy  3 time in one year I was given the all clear. 
I think my body is producing to much estrogen, although I've been having periods and my last smear test was fine. It's only recently decided to look into marriage and thought getting a health check would be a good idea.  Alhumduillah before this I was told I was ovulating and hormones were ok (tubes are still blocked).  I am hoping the treatment will be the same again and it's not serious. But I feel worried as in my family we had alot of death due to female cancer.

It feels like deja  vu but this time I'm on my own


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

Sophiekh, i'm pleased to hear that your results have come back ok. Alhumdulillah. 
May allah swt grant you good health and all that your heart desires. I can imagine that things must be very difficult for you.
Allhumdulillah you are a very strong lady, and inshallah you will meet a brother who is decent and loyal, and may allah grant you a happy marriage and blessed children.

Hope all the sisters are doing well.
The TTC journey is very long adn tough. In all the time i have been married, a number of close family/friends have had 1, 2, 3 babies, and sadly we are no where near... we have finally managed to see consultant and it seems hubby has low spermy count...so it's mild amle factor. They have recommended we go for IVF.
Inshallah treatment will start in the new year. Tbh, i am still in shock that we will have to go through all this...I'm not sure if i'm ready for all the drugs and painful procedures. Even though it's male factor, the woman has to go through all the drugs and invasive procedures. 
Sisters, please do dua for me and my hubby that Allah swt blesses us with a child. 

Love and duas for each and everyone of you. xxx


----------



## RUBY123

Salam 
I only posted a couple of times here , but I like to share my good news here it give some hope fo all the sisters struggling , so after 11 failed ivf . I can finally say I'm pregnant from a natural frozen embryo , so far it's going good , al hamudullah on everything I never thought that day will ever come  , I guess that God has a plan for everyone and that's my time to get pregnant for some reason, alhamdullah i.


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum sisters

Ruby123 Congratulations on your pregnancy,  Masha'Allah that is very good news. Gives us hope!  May Allah bless you healthy and pious offspring

Hijabi - Insha'Allah your husbands issue can improve, please look into cupping, diet and taking vits for men (if you have a look on this forum there are lots of advice given). If it is mild, it can still be treated I believe.  Sis, remain strong, insha'Allah you will blessed soon, the journey seems daunting, but it will be worth it in the end.

Love and Duas to you all xxx


----------



## Hijabi

Jazakhalla sophie. We have been to the see the consultant again this week, and they have told us we can go for SIUI before IVF. We get 3 NHS funded go's at the SUIU.
so inshallah just waiting for my next period in January. Then we will start.
Please do dua that it all goes well and if meant to be, then Allah swt blesses us with a child.
I am feeling positive, cutting back on tea - am actually considering moving to decaf!
Both are taking vitamins and feeling positive, so inshallah will see what happens. It's taken us about a year to get to this phase. 
how are things with you Sophie? How is your health?
Ruby, jazakhalla khair for sharing your story, and mubarak. Really pleased for you and your family. 11 IVFs, must have taken its toll emotionally and physically.


----------



## sophiekh

As Salam  alaykum
Hope you are well sis. Alhumduillah I'm ok. Finally getting used to have a monthly cycle after so long. Waiting for biopsy results and then I'm not sure what I'm doing. I was going to find out if it's allowed to freeze eggs, because I want kids and there's not many men who would consider marrying me and I'm aware that I am getting older too etc etc.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Sophie, don't restrict yourself to your nationality only, but at the same time, don't let any man take advantage of you because of your circumstances. I don't see why you wouldn't be able to freeze your eggs.


----------



## Hijabi

Salam all.
Good to know you are getting AF. when i hear sisters who don't get them, my heart goes out to them, and i appreciate them....even the pain that comes with them. Inshallah let us know how you get on with the biopsy.

I think sister Cosmo is right, i know a few sisters who have married into diff nationalities and they are really happy allhumdulillah. You need to marry someone who is decent and able to support you. Are your family helping you, or are you searching online etc?


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum sisters
I checked up freezing eggs, I think the majority views are no.  Embarrassingly I tried online - noone was interested lol. I dont think I am ready for marriage at the moment that's why I was considering freezing online


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

What do you mean "majority views are no"?
It's your right to do that, unless the therapy would endanger your health.  Also, logically thinking,  I would be surprised if religion would be against it. It's your eggs.


----------



## Inaaya

Agree with cosmopolitan - it's your right lovely to meet evryone here x


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

I pray you are well and in good health.

This forum seems to have gone a bit quite, so i thought id say hello and let you know i often think about you all, and do dua that allah swt blesses us all soon with a child, and if not, then to give us sabr so that we can deal with this in the best way any Muslimah should. Ameen

We are finally on track for treatment, and have just started our first cycle of SIUI. So far i have had an initial scan which went well and i have started the injections, which are easy to do and no side effects. I'm due a scan on friday to see how things have progressed. Please do dua that all is well and we can proceed.

Love and dua to all of you, where ever you may be.


----------



## sophiekh

Hijabi - I hope the scans goes well for you insha'Allah


----------



## Diya29

Asalam o alikum.
How are you all?
Its me sadya .old members know me.. 
I logged in with new id (forgot my old one 😡)
How r you sofi..cookies..praying..khawla..baby maryam sister c?
Hope u all will be fine and happy..
Sadya.


----------



## sophiekh

Wa alaykum salaam Sadya
Nice to hear from you, how are you are your little one.
hope everyone else is doing ok


----------



## mrs darcy

hi ladies

sorry for the brief update. I just wanted to share with you all that i'm pregnant. it's really hard to be excited and enjoy the pregnancy, as we have had such a difficult time getting to this point, that I feel I will jinx myself if I let myself be happy. anyway please make dua for me that I have a good pregnancy and deliver a healthy child inshallah.  it has already been 'spoiled' by two 'loved ones' who told me they hope I have a boy (it's a girl and I am keeping that knowledge to myself lol). I don't know what to say. I do love these people now im dreading their disappointment when they find out shes a girl. 

anyway im making dua for all you girls. im sorry that we all have long and awful journeys to take sometimes. allah swt knows best. sorry if I haven't made sense here. best of luck to all. I will post from time to time about pregnancy etc if people don't mind. I need somewhere to moan about the whingers in my life lol.  x


----------



## mrs darcy

and now ive updated my sig!


----------



## fazeela

Salams

hope everyone is well. its so nice to hear lovely stories and efforts in relation to their babies.

I am trying myself, however I have just been tested for FSH which is high and low AMH.  i have no babies.. and have been trying.  I only got married last year, but i am 39 so i am getting really scared in case I am unable to conceive.  I got pregnant straight away following marriage, but it ended with an assisted miscarriage because baby was extremely unwell and not correctly formed.

I am doing everything i can, acupuncture, cupping, diet.. Inshallah will be going Umrah at the end of the month... i just feel like it may not happen...

I am looking for any recommendations regarding IVF.. i just dont know where to start.  I am waiting for referral from the GP, but that all takes too long and i was considering going private.  there are so many clinics.

fazeela


----------



## mrs darcy

salaam fazeela

39 is young!! mashallah as long as you keep fit and have a balanced diet you have many years of childbearing-ness ahead of you  

im so sorry to hear about your miscarriage may allah give you lots of reward for your patience and what you have suffered. 

are you in in London? I recommend Homerton. Look around, do your research. My opinion is NOT to pay for private until you have no other choice. We don't know what lies ahead, and you may need all your financial resources in the future.  Most NHS trusts give you free treatment for the first child, and you have to pay for subsequent treatments yourself, so save your money (unless you are blessed with loads of money in which case id go private!!).  One round of treatment at HUH cost us £5,500 as we already had one child so were not entitled for ivf on the NHS (fair enough). We also spent about £1000 on failed IUIs. Plus £500 or so for drugs and extra private scans etc. 

why is the GP referral taking so long? No aspect of the treatment should take long, or be delayed, save for perhaps the very first apt with the consultant, u might have to wait 4-6 weeks but in that time get in the best health and track your cycle. 

best of luck to you and hubby. make dua for us all on umra please. inshallah if all goes well I will have my second daughter by the end of this year (inshallah) which I could not imagine saying 5 years ago when I had no kids and was undergoing treatment and getting stressed out. now I am only p*ssed off cos people think it would be better if it was a boy!!!    madness  

get husband on wellman or similar (if not already)

luck and love to all xx


----------



## mimiuk

Salam Alikoum 
for the ladies who are just staring may Allah bless you with healthy babies. 
I'm 38 and have balanced translocation, I'm the infertile in our couple, today we were told that our last treatment did not work, it's so depressing But elHamdoulilAllah on what happened to us, i want so bad to have kids, I love my husband and want him to have the joy of being a dad, I offered him to get another wife but he refused, but I’m not sure he will not change his mind if pushed by his family.
H e refused adoption because of the complication of it and when the kids grow up they will be not mahrem to me if it’s a boy, and if it’s girl, my husband can’t be alone with her. So it’s no for adoption.
I’m so stressed and depressed I asked if he will do a Fatiha with someone who will donate her eggs to me, so he will be counted as her husband when she gives me her eggs, after that he can divorce her. My mental state is that I’m upset with our Imams for not doing a fatwa to help with this problem, as the baby will be my husband’s because we are using his sample, the baby will be mine after I give birth to him and breastfeed him. He is not going to have his origins mixed with any of others of my family as I will be his mom by breastfeeding him, and he is going to have my husband’s name on the paper and not mine.
People, please don’t judge it hurts already, needed someone to support, not to put me down as I’m already down, I wanted to go for Omraa but with no money left we will have to wait till we save. 
Make duaa for me please, it’s a dark place to be in, InchAllah will help relieve this darkness and open his door for me and for all Umat Mohamed (s.a.a.w).


----------



## Tryingtobstrong2015

Mimiuk, I am not judging you as I feel your pain. No one should judge you except Allah. I pray this journey gets easier for you ameen X


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam

Mimi,  we're your embryos blastocysts when they were tested? 

May God open doors for you!


----------



## mimiuk

Salam Alikoum
Tryingtobstrong2015 thank you for the support and duaa, ameen.
cosmopolitan4112008, yes they were all 6 days embryos when tested, my clinic does only 6 days tests. they were all very good quality eggs (all my cycles the IVFs and PGS) but good quality does not mean normal embryos, my embryos have abnormal genes but now it's worse because of my age, so no hope for me.
might Allah give me sabre with all Umat Mohamed (s.a.a.w)
thanks again for Duaa.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

True, good quality or outside appearance might mislead. 
38 is not such high age. If you have means, try with your eggs 2 more times.in the meantime, adjust your diet and take important supplements. Keep taking them regularly 2-3 months and go for the retrieval. Also, make du'a between adhan and iqamah; before salaat al maghrib,  in the last third of the night.  There is du'a "rabbi la tadhorni fardan  wa anta  khayr -ul-waritheen ". Read aura al baqara daily. If you can read it completely daily, better.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=342924.0


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum 

hope everyone is well insha'Allah


----------



## mrs darcy

Aoa sisters. 

I hope you are all well inshallah.

I'm not sure if I should be here. If anyone is uncomfortable with me posting on this thread, please say so as I don't want anyone to feel bad. 

I have a 4 year old girl and I'm expecting baby no.2 also a girl mashallah. I'm from Pakistani background. There are quite a few disappointed people in my family after I told them it was a girl. After struggling with infertility issues for 9 years, IVF treatment and the stress of paying for it, I didn't see this coming? I am so disheartened - I can't explain it. I love my family and husband, even though they are being stupid and backwards about not having a boy, I wish I was having a boy so everyone would be happy (May Allah forgive me to saying that and thinking that when he has blessed me with a female baby). 

I know it is up to Allah, but I doubt we will have any more children. We cannot afford more treatment, age is against us, and we will not actively try to have any more children (Assuming our infertility issues suddenly evaporate one day!). This has cast such a shadow over my life. Please could you girls make dua for me and my family, that they appreciate and love my little girl when she arrives inshallah and stop talking about me not having a boy. 

Sorry this is such a stupid problem to have. I remember the bitter sadness when my sister in law became quickly pregnant after marriage and I was viewed as the barren old sister in law - at that time I was so desperate for any healthy child, male or female. 

Sorry I don't know why I Am posting this. Just to offload.  I Feel like crying. 

Mimiuk - Will make dua for you sister. No one will judge you here. Share whatever you are feeling if you feel better about it. X x x


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum  mrs darcy

congratulations on 2nd pregnancy.  I guess culturally its hard, being Pakistani as well i know how much pressure there is to have a boy. I think people forget how difficult it is sometime to get pregnant and being able to have healthy child is more important than the gender. I think you should try to ignore those comments regarding not having a boy,I think its mentally draining on you. Its important that you concentrate on your pregnancy.  I know some women who never bonded well with their daughters because they or their family wanted a boy. Its never in our hands. Allah swt has blessed you with a beautiful daughter, that should be enough for them


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters,

Sister Darcy, I'm glad you have come on here. We are not here to judge.
I can understand the pressure on you to have a son. But sister, remember our people are always critical, no matter what you do. I see people go to a wedding, and the famlies end up debt to give the best of everything, and our people will be critical of something or the other.

You must try and ignore them. I know it's hard to do so, but do it for your own sanity. You have already been through so much, and remember the days when you prayed to allah swt to grant you a child. Allsh is accepting your dua! Subhanallah. 

Your sibling will be blessed with a sister, and inshallah the two will be there for one another. What a blessing. Having a sister is such  a good powerful relationship.  Don't let the family bring you down. You're your own person, and be strong and overcome their silly comments. you will have enough love to raise this child inshallah.

AFM, we hae had 3 goes at IUI but no success. We are now waiting to see the consultant again end of this month, who will refer us for IVF which will be in May. If that doesn't work, then we will need to fund the treatment ourselves. Trying hard not to worry, and doing my best to ignore everyone's comments, but Im getting better at it.

Remember me in your duas. May allah swt bless us all and take away our worries.


----------



## mrs darcy

Thank you so so much for your kind words sis Hijabi and sis sophiek. 

I Feel like such a waste of space posting my problems, which aren't real problems at all! nevertheless I feel so much better now, so im glad I did post. inshallah I will have two healthy girls (whereas I couldn't imagine being a mum at all 5 years ago). and I don't want to sound ungrateful. this has made me more determined to raise my daughters well, and ensure the backward-thinking of my community dies out with the next generation.

I had such a different response from my (non-muslim)colleagues which was such an eye-opener for me. The first thing they asked is if the baby was healthy (I had the anomaly scan) and measuring well. They were all so pleased and congratulated me. The gender was just an 'aside' to discuss and get excited about a girl or a boy. what a strange thing for me to be embarrassed by the reaction of my muslim 'loved-ones' .

anyway I hope its just a stupid disappointment thing for them like getting chocolate cake when you wanted carrot cake (lol). 

I hope you guys are ok. 

sis Hijabi I also had three goes at IUI. Each time I had very very high hopes.  I eventually had my daughter with IUI but the Dr admitted I was very lucky as the chances of success were very slim. I hope IVF is successful for you inshallah. Try to be positive. the rates of success with IVF are much much higher than IUI. Which hospital are you with? AT homerton I was told that if the first cycle was not successful (£5,500 cost) the subsequent ones would cost £1,000 (provided the attempts were close together so all the same test results etc could be used).  Yes its very expensive and stressful. Try not to dwell on the cost. Just tell yourself that you will save where you can, and once you have the baby you will live frugally   as you wont need any little luxuries to make you happy you will have the baby inshallah.

I know its so so hard to ignore the stupid comments, but what else can we do? If Im miserable it affects my husband and my daughter  which is unfair on her as shes innocent.  The hurtful words still sting though. Can you believe my own mother, who is a good woman, I love dearly, confide in, and count as a best friend, told me that Allah rewards women by giving them male babies :/  what a bizarre thing to say to your own daughter?! it was so wrong and confusing on so many levels that I just try to excuse her ignorance cos shes not educated and grew up in Pakistan (where the mistake a lot of cultural things for islam and people don't know any better -- like they consider a parent to be very lucky if they have only boys, and unlucky if they have only girls!). 

Gosh I felt better getting that all out. Sorry for the epic post. 

sis Sophiek. How are you doing? Your posts have given me a lot of comfort in the past, whether u realised it or not!  do you feel ready yet to consider marriage? im sure you are fed up of hearing 'stories' like this but my lovely friend got married at 42 and had twin boys at 44. she had fertility issues also but Alhamdulillah is now the mum to two gorgeous boys

much love and duas to all X X X


----------



## sophiekh

as salaam alaykum

Hijabi - Insha'Allah I hope the next treatment work.  I know its disheartening sometimes, but never give up !

mrs darcy - im glad you are feeling better. its so important to take care of yourself  emotionally and physically during the pregnancy - these unwanted comments always hurt. You know how it is when you are trying and the world is popping them out every second and people have nothing better to do but ask insensitive questions. Been there done that! Our community makes everything hard, getting married, kids, etc. I was told that my life is ruined and that I must have bad luck, yes to my face. 


Little do most people know I\We went through to try to have a family. Atm-im not looking , i'm still not over any of this- the failed IVFs and the breakup.  Strangely I was so much more hopeful when I was married and trying - now i feel lost. Everyone around me has moved on - most of my friends are married and have kids, I dont have much in common with anyone. I went to a henna party a few weeks ago, and all the women had kids and were talking about kids and husband and I sat in silence for almost 2 hours. I think its the little things like that which break my heart.


----------



## tulip11

Salam everyone
Me and my hubby first ICSI treatment will get a start from next week as I will start my injections. I have a question as ramadhan is about to start so does these injections will break my fast or not ? Am sort of confused about it. Looking for the answers.


----------



## sophiekh

wa alaykum salaam sis tulip

From my understanding, the injections will not break your fast - but it is best to check with an imam or scholar.  The only issue I would worry about is the blood tests, im not sure with ICSI how often you can have but with IVF I know I was having them quite regularly and that may be the only thing that will make you unwell.

Insha Allah I hope this treatment will be successful for you


----------



## mrs darcy

Aoa everyone. Hope you are all well (or as well as can be) inshallah.

Sis sophiek I have read, and re-read your message so many times (the henna party one) as it struck a chord with me. But I just had nothing to say or to offer. I am so so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. It seems you are being tested, and we are told you will not be burdened beyond what you can bear. I wish I could say or do something to make you feel better sis. I have been in the same place as you, cried myself to sleep, and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. May Allah SWT make things easy for you very soon.

As for me, 27 weeks pregnant, my 3.5 year old is really pushing her boundaries and I'm very stressed with work and family life  but Alhamdulillah  Allah answered my duas so I cannot/will not complain! I am really looking forward to meeting my new daughter (and going on maternity leave as Im so fed up with work!) and I really truly wish all of you ladies were in the same boat as me. Inshallah inshallah it will happen soon for everyone. XXXX


----------



## sophiekh

Thanks Mrs Darcy - im guessing you dont have long now. How does your daughter feel about having a new sister? 

I think because I feel  alone, no husband no kids, alot of things just seem to get me. I am trying my best to overcome the feelings of sadness and heartache. I understand life goes on regardless. I just to keep trying


----------



## Phatty

Asalaamu aleykum my beautiful strong sisters,

Just popped on to say Ramadan mubarak to everyone. It's been quiet on here, I hope you've all been well. 
We are all just as deserving of love and respect as the next woman whether we're married or not and whether we've got any kids or not. You're all in my prayers xx


----------



## sophiekh

As salaam alaykum All

Ramadan Mubarak. I hope and pray you are all in good health insha'Allah

May Allah swt bless you all with pious and health offspring..Ameen

xxxx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Allahumme amin.
May God give you a good husband and a family sooner than later. In these night,dont forget duua:
Rabbi, la tadhorni fardan wa anta khayrul waritheen. Amin!


----------



## Phatty

Eid mubarak everyone xxx 

Quick update from me, alhamdulillah nothing has changed. Its been a long road but I pray that Allah swt make it easy for us to accept our situations and be truly grateful and to accept from us our deeds while continuing to shower us with His immense blessings. Aameen


----------



## sophiekh

A very late Eid Muburak from me 

Thinking of you all xxx


----------



## Phatty

sophiekh how are you doing hun? Insha Allah you're feeling better and better with each day. Unfortunately people can be really insensitive even though its unintentional most times. Doesn't make it any easier though. Oftentimes I cover things up with humour or am quite open about things to make a point that there's no shame in my situation. Everyone just needs to concentrate on their own lives and be a little more thoughtful! enough there

How's the pregnancy going mrs darcy? Have you gone on mat leave yet. I read emma so many times btw, love it   We are 4 girls in the family, can you imagine what the community was like...when my brother came last, I think they were all thinking "at laaaaast..". They don't understand the reward involved with bringing up girls, and all the blessings associated. I pray that with our subsequent generations a lot of ignorance will die out

tulip11 how have you been finding ICSI? Insha Allah all has been going well. We also went down that route. If you have any questions I'll try my best to help out...its been 2 yrs since we've had treatment so I'm a bit rusty

There's a new documentary called inconceivable based in nz that's come out which has been interesting, following the journeys of 8 couples going through fertility treatment. It's about time something like this is given some attention

Hope you all enjoyed Eid. I was alone working on my dissertation while dh was out the country attending to family matters. Oh well, that's life sometimes

    for everyone


----------



## diya80

Asalam o alikum..
How are u my lovely sisters...
Old member knows me..i ve special connection with this group.i always remember u all in my prayers. 
I moved to Melbourne from dubai early this year.
Trying for 2nd baby..im already 36 years old..
But here medical system is very  different and expensive as compare to dubai...
Anyone here from Australia. Melbourne  .
One more thing..
Anyone taking coq 10?
Sadya.


----------



## Inaaya

Salaam all, just to let u know I had my beautiful baby daughter last week im so blessed, wishing u all become mummy's very soon xx


----------



## sophiekh

Wa Alaykum Salaam

Inaaya - Congratulations on  the birth of your daughter, Masha'Allah its excellent news. Hope you are both doing well.

Diya - Hope you are blessed again, I have heard of coq 10 - but never took it when I was trying.  

Wanttobeamom - Sis - i hope you are okay. Insha Allah I hope that the operation went  well for your husband. I know how painful it can be to wait,  i think adoption process is quite daunting in most countries.  

I always think of you sisters. I will keep you in my duas, I hope you are blessed soon xxxxx


----------



## Fsh77

Assalam alaykum sisters with lods and lods of courage i am writing here with seeing people suffering soo much for having children and trying for ivf, i feel very sad and bad for me for being so un thank ful to Allah, i have a beautifUo daughter who is 3, and i had really bad time pre and post delivery had anal fossures and prolonged labour and what not, so im really really scared of trying again, i really wanted a boy the first tile but Alhamdullilah i m very happy with what Allah decided for us and blessed us with his blessings , but please dont judge me for it , its very hard for me to say it , i really really want a healthy son to complete my family as i do t think i will be able to have anymore children after this one, so i am reading about gender selection ivf, there are some places who do it , not sure where im searching that, but is it permissible in islam, ?? Although if Allah doesnt want it will never happen, and also if we dont succeed we ll take it as Allah will, but can any1 help me here please? I cannot go through the heart ache again it was very evey hard for me as my hubby is only som in family, so you can definetly understand how much pressure that puts


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam, it isnot haraam whatvyou want, but there they dont do gender selection in the UK unless if it is for medical reasons. Clinics in the Middle East(Jordan) do allow.


----------



## Fsh77

Thank you soo much for ur reply, i m very glad to know its not haraam? But what happens with un used eggs? Is it classed as abortion? Or they arent classed till they are implanted in womb?


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Logically, it's not an abortion because the implantation didnt happen. But when you dont go for such embryos, you might be cutting off on your rizq. This was an opinion of one islamic judge. Im just conveying it, but it makes sense to me.


----------



## Fsh77

Thank u soo much for ur reply,  un used embryos will be frozen amd we will insha allah use it in future, but jazak Allah, thank u sooo much for ur replies, i did istekhara , and for past three nights i got positive replies, so im bery hopeful now and made up my mind, may b Allah has decided for this baby to come throigh this route,


----------



## daisy17

Salaam sisters how are you all? 

I haven't been on here for over 1 year. I think we still have some of the ladies that I know and a couple of new people too! Everyone's stuggle is different and everyone copes differently. I have known ladies that have so many children they pop them out left right and center lol and ladies who haven't been able to conceive in over 15 years! 

My own struggle hasn't been so bad alhumdillah I have been blessed with a daughter, however I found it worse after having her and trying for another child. People constantly asking when is the best one, why am I leaving a gap, I'm being selfish for leaving her as an only child, if only they knew the pain they cause every time! 

I had 2 fet with leading to miscarriages, we didn't tell anyone about any of our treatments or even the fact that my daughter is an ivf baby.

So now after 1year on I really feel that maybe I could try again, the only thing that has now pushed me and said to my husband if the fact that my dad has said to try again, after all we are Muslim if it is Allah swt will it will happen, I'm
Very close to my dad and he has even suggested to pay for the treatment! 

So the only thing left to get started is to loose some weight and to eat healthy exercise a bit more and inshallah if it is allahs will it will happen!!


----------



## Riley12

Hello ladies,

Just wanted to introduce myself, I'm the new moderator for the Religion & Infertility Boards. 

I wish you all the very best with your journeys. 

Riley xx


----------



## cookies81

Sadya! How are you dear? I remembered you today and logged in after 3 years to check up on all of my fertility buddies... in glad to hear you have became a mother and planning for the second. Alhamduliah I am now a mother of two through adoption and life is perfect


----------



## sophiekh

Cookies - Masha Allah that is good news. I hope everyone else is doing well insha allah


----------



## Hijabi

Salam sisters. I haven't posted on here in a long tine. We ended up having 3 goes with iui which didnt work. Then had our 1 free go with ivf...doctor said better tonow go with icsi. Allhumdulillah it worked and I am now 34 weeks pregnant. It has been a long journey and painful emotionally and physically at times. I just wanted to share with u...please dont give up hope my dear sisters. May allahallah swt bless each and every one of u with pious children and if thats not in your rizk then to give you sabr to deal with his decree. Be kind to yourselves. Fertility is such a personal and difficult journey. X


----------



## baby maryam

Salam alaykum everyone... haven't been here for a while, though I do kindly remember many of the old members of this thread and have made dua's for them. I just found out our dear Sadya is a mum, I am so happy for you dear sister... alhamdulillah ya Rabb.


We have stopped trying ... actually we were supposed to have another go at IVF in 2014, however, the situation in Libya wasn't so rosy and instead of having FET in August, we ended leaving Libya altogether (and thus lost my 4 embryos too). 


In the meantime, I have found out that my tumours are back (I have fibroid tumours on the outter side of my uterus) and though the dr suggested surgery, I opted to go the non- surgical way. I am taking something called qist hindi - indian costus- and I get it from one kind sister from Kuwait. I take it mixed with honey in the morning, on empty stomach. It is believed to be a healing drug against many diseases... and it has been helping me so far as I no longer feel pain from the tumour. 
I am a coward to go for surgery again. I hated being in post-op recovery- not afraid of the pain or bleeding or anything like that- but knowing that surgery doesn't really solve the problem, I opted for a life style change. I am changing my diet (slowly and gradually), I am taking alternative medicine and I still need to incorporate exercise into my daily routine... alhamdulillah...


My adopted daughter Hanna is 4 yrs 5 mts old mashallah, she has been a true blessing and life would be so incomplete had I not taken her. I thank Allah SWT for this beautiful human being... 


May Allah swt bless all of you, my dear sisters- those whom I know and those whom I didn;t know, and may He, SWT, give you what your heart most desires, ameen.
Last but not least... may Allah swt make you pleased with what He has decreed for you, ameen. 


Love you for the sake of Allah swt, salam alaykum


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam ladies, 

I am new to this forum and unfortunately it looks like this thread pretty much died down. It's a shame as as I was hoping to get some support as I am due to have isci soon at st Mary's. 
I have been looking online and I cannot find any support network for muslimahs.. aaah the struggle :/

Maybe we could get this thread up and running again x


----------



## chocoholic17

Bubbly29 said:


> Salaam ladies,
> 
> I am new to this forum and unfortunately it looks like this thread pretty much died down. It's a shame as as I was hoping to get some support as I am due to have isci soon at st Mary's.
> I have been looking online and I cannot find any support network for muslimahs.. aaah the struggle :/
> 
> Maybe we could get this thread up and running again x


Salaams happy to start it up again

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


----------



## Roxy29

Salaam bubbly29, 
Hope your well, I have had ivf Icsi last month but unfortunately it didn't work for us,I have unexplained infertility, what's the reason for your ivf sis? X


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam Roxy29
Im really sory to hear that ivf icsi didnt work for you. Was it your first treatment and how long have you been ttc?
The cause of infertility for me is the male factor. 
Im on the long cycle of ivf and im currently down regulating. Its so overwhelming. 
How did you feel when you found out the treatment didnt work for you? As much as i want my treatment to be successful i know it can go either way and im just trying to keep my head clear so i dont get myself into a state if its not successful.


----------



## alba17

Salam alaikum,

Hi every one  really happy to found this thread!


----------



## Bubbly29

alba17 said:


> Salam alaikum,
> 
> Hi every one  really happy to found this thread!


Salaam Alba17, how are you?


----------



## Roxy29

Salaam bubbly
It was my first treatment and i felt devasted when it didn't work,I started my period before I could even test, I had a good cry and got my myself back up,I been ttc for 10 years with two different partners,I swapped clinics and the new clinic has diagnosed me with high prolactin levels so my body thinks it's already pregnant!! I even have milky discharge from my breasts, sickens me that my previous clinic Dissmissed that prob! How they play with our feelings is beyond my understanding, in sha Allah Hun all will be well for you, what clinic are you with and how you feeling on injections? 

Salaam alba how are you?


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy29 said:


> Salaam bubbly
> It was my first treatment and i felt devasted when it didn't work,I started my period before I could even test, I had a good cry and got my myself back up,I been ttc for 10 years with two different partners,I swapped clinics and the new clinic has diagnosed me with high prolactin levels so my body thinks it's already pregnant!! I even have milky discharge from my breasts, sickens me that my previous clinic Dissmissed that prob! How they play with our feelings is beyond my understanding, in sha Allah Hun all will be well for you, what clinic are you with and how you feeling on injections?
> 
> Salaam alba how are you?


Do you think you will try again with the treatment now you have been diagnosed?

Im with manchester st marys. So far the staff have been lovely and everything has been explained to me. The injections are a pain and the days seem to go by alot slower.. Maybe im over thinking it all. I was ok the first week but of injections and I'm nearing the end of the second week now, im feeling quite down and pretty tired now.


----------



## Roxy29

Bubbly 
Awww bless you I was only on a short protocol for 10 days so mine went quite quick, in sha Allah all this will pay off for you, I don't know if I'll have to try again as prolactin plays a big part in fertility,it doesn't let your eggs mature to get fertilised, so I'm praying to Allah that these medication sort the problem and I conceive naturally, if I don't conceive by August September time I then will consider it, how much more time have you left to do infections? Xx


----------



## Bubbly29

InshaAllah the meds will work and you wont need any treatment. How are you finding them?

I was told i would be on short protocol at my consultation but when i went for my teach i got a surprise when the nurse said I was on the long one. Im just trying to keep myself busy. Im not working at the moment so im trying to find things to do to make the time go by quicker! I really need to take my mind off this, im constantly thinking about it.


----------



## Roxy29

I take half a tablet twice a week as it's a fast working strong drug,I do get minor side effects like tiredness and nausea but it's bareable, I can imagine killing time is so hard on ivf, me and hubby went away in our 2ww to Scotland for 5 days and then London for another 3 so it did really help, why don't you try some classes for ladies like baking or cooking etc, is this your first time and do you have any children before?


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy
Wow it must be a very strong drug if you only take half the tablet. Atleast it's not a lot of drugs you have to take everyday. I still have a few weeks of injections left. I should be starting my stimulation injections this week coming. It's my first round of ivf and I haven't got any children. I've been married for Three years  and really pushed my GPto investigate why I wasn't conceiving and he referred me to st Mary's. 
I guess I could join classes etc. I've not got much of a social circle where I am currently living. I was thinking of doing some volunteer work to keep myself busy. 
How long did it take for your body to settle down after the treatment? I know you were on the short cycle and probably had less injections etc. I feel so bloated and self conscience and Im only half way through 😔


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly, 
My body settled down pretty fast a week or two, I was very bloated to thats normal, I'm surprised they put you on long protocol if you have good follicles and no issues, don't worry in sha Allah the time will fly for you, you can always meet up with me for a coffee, I'm from dewsbury xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 

Coffee would be lovely  

Well today I have found out I have a extra week of injections before I can start the stimulation meds because of Easter. It's not really a set back but I was hoping to have the treatment finish soon as possible.
Anyhoo havevyou got any plans for Easter ?


----------



## Inaaya

Salaam roxy, bubbly and alba 

Nice to meet u all, im hoping to cycle  again later on this year hopr treatment is going ok for all of u xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly
Awww Hun it won't set you back but it is annoying when the plan gets changed and you was expecting to finish on time,in sha Allah it will be something positive for you,Allah is the best of planners, i don't have much planned for Easter Hun, just prep for ramadhan xx

Walikum salaam innaya
How are you Hun? Looking at your previous fertility journey you have been through quite a bit bless you,
So happy to hear you have two beautiful children, are you from uk and having treatment abroad? X


----------



## Inaaya

WS roxy I live in bucks in the U.K near london but yes 
Cycled abroad as it's cheaper and more donors available c


----------



## Roxy29

Inaaya
Yes I guess it is deffo Cheaper, what are you using donor for? As a Muslim you know you can't use donor eggs or sperm Xx


----------



## Inaaya

Using for?? X


----------



## Roxy29

Don't understand what your asking sis, (using for)? X


----------



## Roxy29

You said more donors abroad so I asked what are you using donor for? As it's not allowed in Islam x


----------



## Inaaya

I have no eggs as I went through early menopause so no chance at all of being pregnant with my own non existent eggs so used donor egg and husband sperm, my babies are 100 percent mine. Good luck with your journeys c


----------



## Roxy29

So sorry to hear that, and thanks just hoping for some miracle xx


----------



## Inaaya

Inshallah it will work u have only had once cycle yet what are your or your hubby issues? 

I originally spoke to our local imam/Molvi and he said donor sperm is haram but not donor egg, but I think it's down to the individual really as in to me my need for a child was to great so I didn't mind using donor egg regardless of whether it's allowed or not x


----------



## Roxy29

We both have no issues Hun alhamdolillah, just recently my new clinic has told me my prolactin levels are very high so I'm getting treated for that,yes it's only been one cycle but sucks when nothing is really wrong with the both of us and it's not happening,I'm taking lots of vitamins now to help xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam Roxy.. haven't been on here in  a few days. I can't believe Ramadan is already around the corner. I will be starting Ramadan preps soon too. I wanted to stay over at my mums for Easter but she doesn't know about my treatment so I don't know if I can hide the drugs from her as I need to refrigerate some. I probably will pop down for a day visit but I've been so homesick lately. 
I start my stimulation drugs on Friday, I actually can't wait to start them. 

Salaam inaya
How are you? MashAllah you have two gems, and good luck for your upcoming treatment.


----------



## Roxy29

Bubbly 
Aww bless atleast time is getting nearer for you,making lots of dua for you, yes ramdhan is round the corner can't wait in sha Allah, and yes it will hard for you to stay over at your mums because hiding the drugs will be impossible, I only told my mum sister and husband, they were very supportive, I gave a blood test in yesterday so praying and hoping my prolactin levels have dropped in sha Allah, what injections you starting on Friday? I was on menopur and cetrotide xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy,
How long do you have to wait to get your results? I hope they come back showing improvement. If the prolactin levels have dropped to a normal level will you continue with the medication?
My mother in law knows about my treatment because I am living with her, she's been brilliant. I didn't want to worry my mum so I haven't told her.
I will continue taking the bureselin and I will start menopur. I hope menopur doesn't give me any side effects. So far with the bureselin I have been getting cramps and hot flushes. Did you get any side effects with the menopur?


----------



## Roxy29

Depends on the level if my clinic are happy with it they will make me stop,most cases they make you take it till you fall pregnant as when levels drop you have a high chance of natural conception in sha Allah,let's see what the results bring,I will ring on Friday to see if they have arrived if not then following Monday they should be back in sha Allah, that's good that your mother in law is supportive, you need lots of support through the whole process, only side effect I got on menopur was bloating nothing else, so don't worry all will be fine plus even if you get any side effects  you know you will get a positive result at the end in sha Allah, are they putting you to sleep for egg retrieval? Xx


----------



## Bubbly29

InshaAllah all goes well for you, keeping you in my duas.
For egg retrieval I will be sedated but not fully asleep and they will discharge me after a few hours. I'm really nervous about that. I asked if it would be a male or female that would be carrying out the procedure and they said I can't choose so I will get whoever is in on that day. Praying it's a female! If it's not I would be so embarrassed don't know what I would do   
Did you get put to sleep for egg retrieval and were you sore afterwards ? How long were you on the menopur for? I will start it tomorrow for 8 days and I will be going in Easter Friday for a scan. Hopefully it will be just a few scans before I'm ready for egg collection. Sorry about all the questions lol xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly
I wasn't put to sleep only sedated and my dr was a male who was my consultant to, I didn't feel embarrassed at all as they cover you fully and only see through a endoscope, my husband was besides me all the way through it,I was sore on the day and slept all day, after that I was ok just little discomfort when using loo but nothing that I couldn't bare,also at the time your happy because your acheiveing something from it, I was told every time they got a egg,I was very excited through it all lol, I got my blood results today and my prolactin has dropped from nearly a 1000 to 15 alhamdolillah so I'm super happy!! Will try naturally now,in sha Allah I'll get some good news soon xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Wow mashaAllah that is excellent news! So you will stop taking the medication? Will look forward to some good news from you so keep me informed  
I feel more relaxed about the egg collection now after hearing your experience. I probably will find out a rough estimated date for my egg collection at my next scan. Going to keep myself busy this week and hopefully time will fly x


----------



## Roxy29

Bubbly 
I'm glad I have put you to ease,also they give you painkillers etc so you don't fee anything really,any questions you need to know feel free to ask I don't mind at all, keep yourself busy do zikr and in sha Allah you will be fine,how does your husband feel about all this? 

And yes akhamdollh I responded really well to the prolactin medication, will track my cycle now for few months,yes today was my last dose of medication,I will email my new clinic my results and see what they want me to do xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 
My husband has been really supportive about it all. He wants to be there for all the appointments even if it's a blood test. He's planning some time away for us during the two week wait so I am looking forward to that.
I am starting menopur in the morning the dose is 150. It seems like a lot compared to the 0.25 of bureselin I am taking. 

I am really happy for you. I hope you get your good news soon. X


----------



## Roxy29

Bubbly
Ma sha Allah that's really good that he is supportive, aww it will be a nice break to get away in your two week wait,I was on 150 menopur to it isn't bad at all,my hubby was fab with the injections I never felt a thing,it seems a lot but isn't really, 
And Thankyou I'm also praying and hoping I get some good news soon in sha Allah, 
How's your day been today? Xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 
I had a day thanks. I thought preparing the menopur would be tricky but it was quite straight forward. The leaflet said to inject at 90 degree angle but the booklet my clinic gave said 45 degree. I stuck to the 45degree as the menopur needle seemed a tad bigger than the bureselin one. 

Reading the instructions for the menopur it said once I have mixed it I should use it within 28days and keep it under 25 degrees. I was thinking if I mix a extra bottle before hand I could take it to my mums as I want to stay for a few days. This way I won't have to worry about putting anything in the fridge. I'm not sure if it will affect the medicine.
The weather is supposed to be fab this weekend. Have you got any plans ? Xx


----------



## Roxy29

I pre made mine but kept them in fridge,I'm not sure what it'll be like not stored in fridge,ask your clinic? 
Yes I'm going to the Beach today and tomorrow spending the day with my Neices shopping lol,
Have you got anything planned??


----------



## diya80

Aoa...how are you everyone?


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam diya80, how are you ? 

Salaam roxy. How are you, hope you had a good weekend. I have had a busy week and I can't believe it's the weekend again already! I had my scan today and my follicles are growing. My menopur dose has been increased a little and I am going back in on sunday for another scan.  I'm starting to feel really crampy and tired now but I haven't got long left now till I will be ready for egg collection. How many scans did you have before egg collection? X


----------



## Roxy29

Salaam diya welcome on board xx

Hey bubbly
Yes had a fab weekend alhamdolillah,how's you been?  I was wondering where you gone lol, aww ma sha Allah that's good everything is going smoothly for you,don't worry the cramping and bloating is normal,I had three scans before egg collection,mom-weds-Friday and then egg collection was three days later after last scan on Monday,so that means your very close yaaay,are you taking any supplements etc?? Xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy, 
I've been well apart from achey bones and I don't feel like doing anything lately. I am really hoping Sunday will be my final scan Insha Allah. I'm feeling quite sore from the injections now, its been 29 days of injecting today and I can't wait for it to be over. 
I am taking pregnacare multi vits which the nurse recommended to me. At first I kept forgetting to take them but I've gotten used to them now. 
When you went for your final scan on the Friday did you stop taking the injections?  X


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
That's good your taking some supplement,Friday was my last scan then on Saturday I took the hcg pregnyl and that was it,no more injections,so I'm thinking if your last scan is Sunday,you'll inject hcg pregnyl on Monday and that will be the end of it In sha Allah, I was very sore around my ovaries,alhamdolillah no soreness from injections as I only injected 10 days, keeping you in my duas xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy, 
I'm hoping tomorrw is the last scan but to be honest I feel I will have to take injections for another few days because on Fridays scan the follicles wer still quite small. My hubby has been going to the appointments with me as he had been off work for Easter, if I have more scans lined up I will have to go alone and the thought of it seems a little daunting as theres a lot of waiting around.
How was the hcg pregnyl injection? I've been reading it's quite painful but I guess everyone is different when it comes to needles. X


----------



## Roxy29

Bubbly 
Awww bless you i hope it is your last scan tomorrow,waiting at care wasn't long at all maybe 5-10 mins,
The hcg was not painful at all,I had it in my thighs that's where I injected all my injections,the Needle was tiny I felt no pain at all xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Hi roxy 
How are you ? 
I had my scan today and my follicles are growing and slowly getting there. I am going back on Tuesday for another scan, I've responded really well to the medication and I have 9 follicles on one side and 7 on the other, the nurse said for egg collection they would go for the largest ones. I've been injecting on my stomach and it's extremely sore now. I'm really hoping I go in for egg collection before Friday as the clinic doesn't carry out the procedure on weekends. Really hoping I am ready by then x


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Ma sha Allah that's good news,in sha Allah all will work out for you, just hang on in there,you've come all this way the extra  few more days will be worth it,it's deffo not easy but in sha Allah it'll be worth it,yes they Only retrieve the large follicles,you've got a good number there,I injected in my thighs and wasn't sore at all and never had any bruising alhamdolillah, how many scans have you had? And what measurants are your follicles? Xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 
I've had 2scans so far, Friday and Sunday. Tomorrow will be my third one. The nurse never told me how big the follicles were but she did say they are different sizes. She showed me a chart instead and told me the measurements had to be in the blue area and I was a few boxes away from it. I will ask for measurements tomorrow if I'm still not ready. I was reading they do around 2/3 scans  before your ready for egg collection. I can feel more cramping on my sides today, it's just a little uncomfortable when I am moving around. Please keep me in your duas xxx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
I'm guessing tomorrow will be your last scan if your follicles reach the desired size,follicles grow 1-3 cm a day so from Sunday your follicles would have defiantly grown in sha Allah,let me know how your scan goes tommorow, have they told you how thick your lining is? If not ask about that to, I know what the pain is like it's not very nice and very uncomfortable,but you need to remember that your ovary on a natural cycle only produces one follicle and with ivf theirs many follicles so the discomfort is normal, make sure your drinking lots of water especially after transfer xxx


----------



## Bubbly29

Hi Roxy
I had my scan today and afterwards I spoke to the nurse, she told me I had five follicles that had reached a good size however I got the impression that she wasn't satisfied with the number. She booked me in for another scan on Thursday and she said the doctor would review my notes and if there any changes they would let me know. I got a call in the afternoon and the nurse said I am to take the menopur and buserelin as normal tomorrow morning and in the afternoon I should get a call giving me instructions about the trigger injection as I am booked in the egg collection on Friday!
I am really happy. I had a feeling they would fit me in for Friday as the nurse said for icsi treatment they try not to stimm for more than ten days and I couldn't see myself carrying on with the injections over the weekend. I can't believe it will be my final injections tomorrow, I won't miss them that's for sure. Oh and the nurse said my lining was nice and thick, so that's looking good too. I'm just praying I have quality eggs now. 
How were you the day after you took the hcg trigger injection? I have a day out planned on Thursday so I hope I have no side effects xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Wow ma sha Allah that's good news,finally your getting there yaaay, I know it's been a long journey for you but your near the end now,great to hear your lining is nice and thick,all looks positive Hun,I had no side effects with the hcg I went to work and was absolutely fine,in sha Allah you'll be fine Hun,your eggs will be of good quality in sha Allah,making lots of dua for you,keep me updated to what they say tomorrow, so you'll be looking for transfer day sometime next week then eeeek,it's getting close now,I'm excited for you, where you going on Thursday? Hope you have a fab day and it's good your having some quality time of your own xxx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy, 
I'm trying not to think too much about that hcg, I think I remember how to prepare it and I am unsure if i inject the full dose but I have all my questions ready for the nurse when she calls tomorrow. Il deffo keep you updated with everything. 
Yup transfer should be sometime next week, that's supposed to be pretty straight forward from the information I've been given. What time was your transfer and how long did it take ? 
On Thursday I will be going visiting friends, they don't know about my treatment so the last thing I want is awful side effects from the injection. Xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Ya ask your nurse all the questions about things your unsure about,hcg is fine it's no different to any other injection,the transfer is straight forward and is over and done with in about 20 mins that's with all prep,the actual procedure is about 5-10 mins,I had no side effects with the hcg so I'm sure you'll be fine xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Hi Roxy, 
How are you? 
My trigger injection went well on Wednesday night  and I had my egg collection this morning. 14 eggs were collected and I'm hoping they were of good quality. I should be getting a call in the morning to let me know how many have fertilised. The procedure itself was so quick. I remember the the nurses talking to me and after that I can't remember anything and I woke up in the recovery room. 
The hard bit is over with now and I'm just praying I get good results with the fertilisation x


----------



## Roxy29

Hi bubbly 
I'm good alhamdolillah,
That's great news,14 wow ma sha Allah, told you that you will be just fine,in sha Allah you will have a good amount that will fertilise,what time will you get a call? And how are you feeling? You can put your feet up now xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy, 
I am feeling very sore. I got a call yesterday saying out of the 14 eggs they tried to inject the sperm into 10 but my eggs were rejecting the sperm and they don't know why. They said it could be because they wernt good eggs. They told me only two eggs fertilised and I would have to go back in Sunday for transfer. I just got a call saying both eggs had developed nicely and I will need to go in for the transfer today. I would have liked a better result but  atleast I got the 2 alhamdulilah.
I've been given pesseries to use to support my womb lining and last night I used one and I got the worst stabbing pain which lasted a few hours. I will be asking the nurse why that happened, I'm feeling a lot better this morning. I'm scared it could be a OHSS symptom and I'm dreading the transfer as I feel I am very sore and I've only had a day to recover.


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam, keep drinking a lot of water. Ifyou developed ohss, water will help. In any case, water will do you good. Good luck!


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Don't be disheartened alhamdolillah you have two,did they tell what grade they are? And will be having both transferred,don't worry the transfer isn't painful at all so you will be fine, drink plenty of water just like the sister has reccomended xxx


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam cosmopolitan 
Thanks and il try and drink as much water as I can x

Salaam Roxy 
I've had two embryos transferred. The doctor decided two day transfer was the best option for me as I only had the two eggs fertilised.  The embryologist said Both embryos were  of very good quality and one was 4 cell and other was three which is the normal rate they should be growing. She didn't say anything about what grade they were  because they grade them from day three onwards and mine were only on day two.
I saw the moment the embryos were transferred on the screen as I was having a scan at the same time. 
Now the wait begins and I have been told to test on 6th may. 
I am really praying it works for me. 
Are you feeling any different since you have stopped the medication for the prolactin levels ? Xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
In sha Allah all will be wel for you just eat well and take rest xx
I'm still on the meds I only take half a tablet twice a week so it's fine,I have to take them till I don't fall pregnant or till I dont go for a cycle with my clinic, I have no side effects anymore, my hair has gone thicker again,my skin has gone clear lots of good and positive things,my boobs don't hurt when I'm due on my period,so something is going right for me alhamdolillah,in sha Allah I have faith I will conceive naturally,I've been taking ubiquinol for egg quality it's a miracle supplements everyone says, I have been taking that for 7 weeks and will continue till I don't conceive, also I'm taking iron and vitamin d as they play a big part in fertility, all reccomended by my clinic xx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

How much of ubiquinol do you take daily?


----------



## Roxy29

Hi cosmo 
I take 400 mg a day and then every Sunday I take 600mg x


----------



## Bubbly29

Hi Roxy 
Sorry I thought you stopped taking the medication when your blood test showed your levels had dropped. You seem to have really good signs so inshaAllah you will get some good news soon. 
Keep on taking the supplements and I've not heard of ubiquinol but it sounds very good. I shall look it up. 
I am making lots of dua for you xx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Thank you for your reply. Why sucha high dose?
I am positive your efforts will pay off. Never forget a supplication on daily basis plus istighfar


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
No I thought I had to stop it but my clinic said keep taking it until I get a positive pregnancy test,because once your pregnant your body will naturally take over the prolactin hormone so o won't need the medication,I have another 5 months supply so I'm going to keep taking it,Thankyou Hun your also in my duas may Allah swt give us some good news soon in sha Allah xx and yea look up on it is has fab reviews xx

Hey cosmo 
They sound high doses  but compared to what your body needs they are not high, the more I take the better and faster the results, it's a natural enzyme so it doesn't give me any side effects apart from positive ones, I got the most darkest positive ovulation test this month then I I ever have before, so the whole combo of supplements are working by the will of Allah, indeed I pray my prayers and make lots of istighfar, remember me in your duas x


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy ,
I forgot to ask how many embryos you had transferred? I've been cramping since yesterday, it feels like period pains. I'm not sure if that is supposed to happen. I've also been quite bloated, I'm feeling so self conscious as my belly is sticking out and it gets worse after I've eaten. I don't want to go out anywhere looking like this. I hope the bloating goes down soon.


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
How you doing Hun? The bloating is from the pessaries don't worry ,I had two embryos transferred , I was bloated myself and the bloating will go down , just focus on yourself and eat healthy , I had cramps to but obviously my result was negative but cramping is normal  as the little embryos are trying to get comfy xxx


----------



## Inaaya

Salaam bubbly congrats on being pupo!! Cramping is normal don't worry 

Inshallah u will get good news soon xx


----------



## Roxy29

Salaam bubbly hope your ok Hun xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam Roxy, 

How are you? 
I am ok, I'm due to test this weekend but I'm getting a little worried now. I am 9dpt and I had some cramping this morning along with some pains and when I went to the bathroom I noticed a browny colour when i wiped. (Sorry tmi) I'm pretty sure AF is on her way because I usually get the browny cm before I am due to start.  I've also had a lower back ache for a few days which seems to be getting more frequent. Last week was ok, but this week I'm getting more anxious and I feel really emotional, which is another thing that happens before AF.. I'm tempted to test early but I don't know if it's a good idea.


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Them symtoms could also be a good sign so don't lose hope,only way you'd know for deffinate is if you test but then again it might be a little early? I tested early because at that time I felt it was the right thing to do,sometimes browny discharge can be a good sign so I wouldn't worry to much Hun, try and hold from testing if you can it can just be implantation, stay positive xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 
I was really tempted to test but I'm holding off for now. I haven't had any more discharge since the morning so it could have been from implantation, but I am still having cramps now and then. I hate the waiting, I am soo impatient. I am trying to stay relaxed but I can't stop thinking lol


----------



## Roxy29

I was impatient to that's why I tested and I tested everyday from 6dpt until I started bleeding,it kept me going when I tested coz if I didn't test I was going mental thinking about it,I got the cheapie tests so wasn't a lot to spend, see how you feel in next few days,if bleeding has stopped then it can be implantation in sha Allah xx


----------



## Bubbly29

I actually haven't got any tests at home, ive been putting myself from buying them until I'm more closer to the test date. If I had tests at home I know I would give in and check. My test date is Saturday morning and I was thinking of testing on Thursday at the earliest. Xx


----------



## Roxy29

Yea Hun best way not to have the tests at home, test tomorrow and see Hun, you will be 11dpt wound you on Thursday? I am positive for you Hun xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy, 

This morning Ive had more discharge, it's still brown it colour but it's more than yesterday, I'm trying to keep my hopes up because if it was my period, I'm sure it would have gone into full flow by now. I just hope its old blood, or blood from Implantation. I'm still having cramping here and there and when I do get cramps, I'm so sure af is going to arrive any min. This wait is horrible. Yes it will be 11dpt tomorrow, I'm wondering if it's still too early to test as I had a 2day transfer ? I'm not sure what test to go for either. I read Superdrug pregnancy tests are the most sensitive to test early but the reviews on the website aren't good. I'm not sure which one I should buy, especially for testing early xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Don't worry to me it sounds implantation bleeding, like you said you know your body and by now it would have been full flow, first response tests are sensitive to you can try them, in sha Allah all will be just fine for you don't worry Hun xx


----------



## Inaaya

Hey def sounds like implantation bleed I had exactly the same on both my bfp cycles!! Sounds very promising xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Inayaa
Did the implantation bleed last a few days for you too? X

Roxy 
I was going to buy the  clear blue today and I was in the line ready to pay but I changed my mind and I'm still holding off From testing early. I'm going to wait till Saturday but even then I'm scared it may turn out to be negative and I may just have a very delayed period. I really want to be positive but I don't want to get my hopes up, I will be devasted if this hasn't worked. X


----------



## Inaaya

Yes was from day 9 days past to 13 days past, I tested the day after the brown blood and got bfp both times, on my negatives cycles I had no blood so knew it hadn't worked xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
If you can hold it out then do so atleast testing on Saturday will be a correct reading,like innaya said it seems positive Hun,please don't lose hope,all your symtoms seem positive xxx


----------



## Inaaya

Bubbly any news? 
Roxy how's it going with u?


----------



## Roxy29

Hey innaya how are you Hun? 
I'm on my medication been 7 weeks now, my periods have regulated,my hair has stopped falling out, I don't pms anymore before my period, my skin has gone clear, I have my energy back alhamdolillah , so the meds have definatly shown some positive symtoms, my hormones seem to be behaving now, my high prolactin from 1000 has dropped to 15 which is perfect, I'm trying naturally,no luck this month in sha Allah next month, I feel as though I'm going the right direction now xx

Hey bubbly 
Have you tested? Xx


----------



## Inaaya

Roxy do u use ovulation tests ? X


----------



## Bubbly29

Hey Innaya and Roxy 

How are you both? 
I gave in yesterday evening and I tested, I got a faint positive! I have had lots of cramping today and it's been very painful, I got cramping in the morning which woke me up and this evening I had some more. I know cramping is normal but I don't know if it should hurt this much. My legs have been aching for the past week and they feel so weak. 
This official test date is tomorrw and I will be testing again in the morning and I will see if the the line has gotten any darker. I should get a call from the clinic tomorrow as well so I will tell them my concerns. 

Roxy I am making lots and lots of dua for you, you will get good news soon InshaAllah xxx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey innaya 
I used them last month I'll be using them again this month in sha Allah,I tested in the evening where as I should have tested mid morning, so this month I'll test mid Morning for a better result,

Hey bubbly 
Sounds very promising if you got a faint positive in sha Allah tomorrow you will get a definite positive,hopefully your cramping won't be any concern but for your own peace of mind speak to your clinic when they ring you tomorrow, don't forget to tell me your results tomorrow I'll be waiting for the news, Thankyou for remembering me in your duas, may Allah swt give us all the news we are waiting for xxxx


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam Roxy 

I did a test this morning and the line is still faint, in fact it's slightly fainter than than thursdays test. I missed the call from the clinic and I've tried ringing them back but I can't seem to get through to them. 
I am slightly worried now, I was hoping for a darker line and last night I had some more uncomfortable cramping again. I am thinking what if the embryo decided not to stick . I have all  sorts going through my head right now. Hubby offered to go get another pregnancy test so we could try a different brand, I told him I would wait and speak to the nurse.
Oh and i am worried more, because when I inserted the pessarie I felt it come down so I feel like my cervix is quite low down. I don't know if that matters but isn't it supposed to be high? I just need to get through to the clinic. The automated message when I call them keeps saying it's closed but they are open on weekends


----------



## Roxy29

Walikum salaam bubbly 
Did you do the test with first morning urine? And I would say try a different brand Hun,your clinic must have given you a test to? You can't really go on cervix Hun everyone is different, my sisters cervix would only rise after she was 8-10 weeks pregnant so the cervix position means nothing really, that's funny how you can't get through to your clinic if they are open,is their a main number to the hospital you can ring that they can then  put you through to the clinic? Or is your clinic seperate from a hospital, cramping Hun at this particular time can mean anything so don't think to much, I would say try a different brand pregnancy test and keep your urine held for a few hours xxxx your in my duas xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 
Yes it was first morning urine I tested with and the clinic didn't give me a test to use. I used the first response test. 
I have tried a few numbers but I think they must have a staff meeting or something because I know they are deffo open on weekends and I can't get through on three different numbers. I've tried. I will try again later. I will probably try a different pregnancy test for my piece of mind. I will let you know what the clinic say when I get through to them.

Yes your right about cervix position and everyone is different too. Il try not to over think it x


----------



## Bubbly29

Roxy 

The nurse phoned me and I told her my result. She said as long as there's two lines it means positive. I told her about the painful cramps and legs aches and she has told me to phone the emergency line if it happens again. 
She's booked me in for a viability scan at the end of May and she said I can let my GP know. 
The painful cramps are really worrying me, but for now I will try and take it easy and I will let my GP know. Hopefully they will do a blood test. I will be doing another test as well and see if the reading is any different xx


----------



## Inaaya

Congrats bubbly! Is it worth getting a hcg test done especially as your positive is quite faint? Or u can do progression tests on a first response I did that with my daughter I can send u pics if u give me your email address or pm me xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Congrats Hun so happy for you, don't be disheartened in sha Allah the cramps can be positive, atleast your booked in for a scan soon all will be well, do the cramps get worse during any particular time of the day? Also where  are your cramps?, for now enjoy being pregnant Hun, did your clinic say why you could be getting these cramps? Xxx


----------



## Bubbly29

Thank you Innaya and Roxy 
i have mild cramps throughout the day but I get quite painful dull aches which i worry about. They aren't on a particular side, they are just like period pains but worse. I've not had one since last night though. The nurse didn't say why I could be getting the cramps, she said everyone is different but to ring the emergency number if the Painful cramping continues. She wasn't much help on the phone but I will be going in to pick up some more pessaries as I have to continue taking them and I will speak to a nurse then, 

I did another test, this time clear blue and the reading came out fine, it was quite dark so I'm feeling relieved. I will stop testing now and try to relax. Xx


----------



## Inaaya

Massive congrats bubbly so happy to hear your next test came out darker!! Good luck for scan!! Keep us posted xxxx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Alhamdolillah so happy to hear that,don't worry now just relax and look after yourself, in sha Allah the cramping will ease off, your in my duas may Allah swt protect you and give you health, just take it easy as to much worrying isn't good, all is in Allahs hands so make dua to Allah and all will be fine in sha Allah, xxx


----------



## Bubbly29

Thank you for the duas! And thank you both for the advice and listening to me rant on. It still hasn't sunk in yet, Im just eagerly awaiting the scan just so I know everything is ok. I will keep you updated on everything, please keep me in your duas xx


----------



## Roxy29

Hey bubbly 
Your welcome Hun, stay happy and take plenty of rest, let me know how you get on, don't stress enjoy your journey xx


----------



## Inaaya

Bubbly when is your scan? Good luck keep us posted xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam inayaa

So far everything is going good alhamdulilah. I've got my scan on Tuesday, feeling a little bit nervous now, hope it shows everything is ok xx


----------



## alba17

Hi, does anyone have any info regarding down reg (nasal spray) and fasting? I've found different opinions from scholar (online) wether the nasal spray break/not break the fast. Does anyone ever on the same boat? what about the effectiveness of the med during fast?  I might start down reg 2nd week of June, or I might postpone it for another month.

Ramadan Mubarak for everyone :*


----------



## alba17

Bubbly29 said:


> alba17 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Salam alaikum,
> 
> Hi every one  really happy to found this thread!
> 
> 
> 
> Salaam Alba17, how are you?
Click to expand...

ooh Bubbly29! I am so sorry forgot to check this thread again after my post, only focusing on my icsi diaries doesn't even look to other thread. And congratulation for your pregnancy. Hug.


----------



## Inaaya

Bubkybhow was the scan? X


----------



## Roxy29

Salaam bubbly 
Hope your ok Hun, how was your scan? Xx


----------



## Bubbly29

Salaam ladies, really sorry I haven't been able to post sooner. My scan went well alhamdulilah and it confirmed I am pregnant! Ive been feeling terrible and sick lately and the morning sickness has started. Please keep me in your duas xxx


----------



## Riley12

Eid Mubarak!!

Riley xx


----------



## Cinnamon18

Salam all

Any Duas we can read x


----------



## Phatty

Eid Mubarak lovely strong sisters. Praying for the best for all of you xx

Wasalaam Cinnamon18, here are 2 duaa: “Rabbi laa tadharni fardan wa anta khayr ul-waaritheen (O my Lord! Leave me not single (childless), though You are the Best of the inheritors).” This is a beautiful du’aa’ which is very appropriate in this case. Also suitable is another prayer of Zakariya: “Rabbi hab li min ladunka dhurriyyatan tayyibatan innaka samee’ al-du’aa’ (O my Lord! Grant me from You a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of invocation).” Ameen


----------



## Roxy29

Salaam sisters how you all doing? 
I'm looking to start my cycle of ivf in less then two weeks,this is my second ivf,first one failed,please remember me in your duas xx


----------



## Daisy16

Salaam how are you all?
I haven’t posted in a very long time.. probably 2 years at least! Myself and my husband are going to try again inshallah and have our first appt this week! We’re trying again with icsi inshallah. 
I see there’s a lot of new ppl here! Inshallah please keep me in your duas.


----------



## Inaaya

Salaam daisy
Good luck how are u getting on unfortunately this thread isn't very active which is a shame xx


----------



## Hoping+praying

Assalamu alaikum every1

I just came across this thread. Pray every1 well in sha Allah.im currently  through the 1st half of my 2ww.i pray Allah has his mercy on us all and grants us pious healthy children aameen 

Please pray for me.
Wasalam


----------



## Inaaya

Hoping and praying did you test? Inshallah u got your bfp xx


----------



## Hoping+praying

Alhamdulillah yes I got my BFP..can't thank Allah enough.HE has been sooo merciful.


----------



## Inaaya

Alhumdullilah so pleased for u!! When are u due? Roxy from this thread is due June and I'm due August xx


----------



## Hoping+praying

In sha Allah due end of October. Long way away yet.Allah humma barik.being monitored by argc and dr gorgy. May Allah protect us all and grant us pious healthy children aameen


----------



## february

Salam does anyone have any advise.  I have had 6 failed ICSI cycles with very low fertilisation rates.  I have had ransfers but all were BFN.  Doctor said it may be down to the egg quality.  What should I do?  I also suffer from spotting and discharge between cycles.  Jzk


----------



## Inaaya

February sorry u find yourself in this situation, do u have blastocysts transferred? Egg quality usually kicks in after day 3 of embryo development


----------



## Inaaya

Sporting  and discharge between cycles usually means you are low on progesterone maybe for next cycle you neee progesterone injections or up your pessary dosage 
What's your age - egg quality usually declines after 35-40 xx


----------



## february

I am 37.  With my second cycle I did get pregnant in 2008.  But with my clinic at the time they only used to ask us to take progesterone pessaries until the OTD.  When I got my OTD I stopped my progrsestetonr pessaries and I started bleeding the day after.  My HCG did rise over the next few days and later went down to 75.  I don’t know if it was because of the low progesterone I had the loss.  I know this had changed now till the 12th week.  My last two cycles were with a different clinic and I was taking cyclogest pessaries 3 times a day 600 mg total.  At my last clinic it was two lots of progesterone total 800 mg.  I have never had blasts transferred.  My last cycle I had a 10 cell day 3 embryo transferred.  It was sadly BFN.  I started spotting 2 day before my OTD.  How can they check my progesterone levels?  Is this the reason why I don’t get pregnant naturally.  Thanks


----------



## Hoping+praying

AS sisters
February I think You definitely need more progesterone support. I have always been on cyclogest pessaries x3 a day for 24 weeks plus injections till 12 weeks.have you tested for immunes issues?

Afm sad times ahead.im miscarrying. ALLAH have mercy on us all. HE gave me beautiful news for 2 weeks.everything belongs to HIM!!!.Alhamdulillah Obama grateful.  HE is the best of planners. Obviously the pain is immense but In sha Allah time will heal. Please remember me in your duas xx


----------



## Hoping+praying

Obama...😮
I meant I am so grateful.


----------



## mrsenem

Hi ladies,

please can i join this group? 

I am 29 years old, and have been married for nearly 5 years. I had the shock of my life when aged 27 i was told I was peri-menopausal and that my chances of having my own genetic child were less than 5% even with IVF! Luckily, my consultant thought age was on my side, so therefor gave me the go ahead for IVF. Our first round was successful and resulted in a gorgeous baby boy born Nov 17. Alhamdulillah  My baby is only 4 months old, but I am already thinking about baby number two. Ideally I would want to wait another year, but us IF ladies don't have that kinda luxury right! We have one emby on ice, so we're unsure whether we should try transferring that first or whether we should just do a fresh IVF cycle to try and get more embies. In our firs round, I only produced 3 eggs, of which 2 were mature.. so who knows what'll happen next time


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam, get more embryos since age is on your side. Dont go for high dosages of meds because they compromise egg quality. Gl!


----------



## Diya29

Salam..
Is this page is active anymore?


----------



## Inaaya

Hey it’s a shame but not many ppl post on it much 

How are you?? Xx


----------



## Diya29

Im good alhumdulilah..
Took first gonal.F last night..
Need prayers..


----------



## Mumsy35

Assalamulaikum ladies. Ive been through ivf and had bfp and currently 9 weeks mashaAllah.

If you have any questions please ask away! Ive been through it and feel like an expert to share my experience. There are lots of women in this forum that are more knowledgable than me!

All the best and making dua you get your bfp soon!


----------



## Diya29

Jizakilllah khair munsy35.
May Allah give u  healthy child and make everything easy for you and me too...


----------



## Inaaya

Mummy Alhumdulilah that’s wonderful news! How are you feelin? First few months are very tiring !  Where did u cycle? Diya how’s it going did u take the gonal g?
Inshsllsh all will work out for u!

I’m currently pregnant with twins and am due October but will probably have them September 

It’s Nice to see this thread becoming active again x


----------



## Mumsy35

Diya ameen jazakillah khair sis. May Allah swt provide all the sisters in this group many more children inshaAllah. I pray Allah provides for you too. Im sorry i havent read far enough to know everyones journeys so not sure what stage you are at. 

Innaya twins mashaAllah thats amazing may Allah swt make it easy for you! Im feeling very tired and nausea majority of the time. Awaiting 12 week scan now inshaAllah.

My background we were diagnosed secondary infertility and trying for #2 for 8 years before we gave ivf a chance. I had one miscarriage at 11 weeks and have failed to become pregnant since. Alhumd with ivf we responded well and have, 5 frozen embryos. We did a selective FET and it was a bfp. We are so fortunate to have a DD(9)alhumdullilah which we concieved naturally. We have kept everything secret till our 12 week scan just making dua this one sticks inshaAllah.

Its nice to share with you both i hope this forum becomes busier so we can all share in this beautiful journey to motherhood together. 

Best duas to you ladies xxx


----------



## Inaaya

I’m 43 and Alhumdulilah have 3 beautiful children (5 in August, 3 in August and 1 in August) all ivf children 

I had premature ovarian failure which became menopause and my husband has low motility and morphology 

Alhumdulilah sre are so blessed though xx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Salaam ladies,

Congrats to all the pregnant ones! MAy God give you safe and quick delivery!

Inaaya, why did you switch from Serum to another clinic, if you don't mind me asking? Also, I can see that your last 2 pregnancies took place when you were already in your 40s - did you have any special protocol or procedure that made them successful?

Thnk you in advance!


----------



## Inaaya

WS

Cosmopolitan - I had to bfns with serum and slo was losing  trust in them - Penny would say some things which weren’t true and also transferred when I had fluid in my uterus and had only a 6mm lining 

I went to newlife and had a bfp pretty much straight after 

Protocol - I was steroids (20mg) letrozole (days 1-5 as I have thin lining issues) clexane injections 
Prognova which went up to 12mg again for the lining issues 

Being pregnant at 40 plus I have had no issues at all and had them naturally I was under consultant care for all 3 pregnancies and now am again with my twin pregnancy but that’s because I’m ivf and over 40 xx


----------



## cosmopolitan4112008

Thank you for the reply Inaaya. Have you ever had any issues regarding polyps or similar?


----------



## Mumsy35

Innaya mashaAllah thats lovely to hear about your 3 children and that ivf worked for you too! We really want to use the remaining frosties for future children inshaAllah. I am 36 and hubs 42 so age is on our side! Taking it one stage at a time. We really are truely blessed! Duas to you all hope everyone in this group is well inshaAllah


----------



## Diya29

Salam ladies .
Taking gonal F and from today also started  Orgalutran.
Im 39 years old..trying for 2nd baby from the last 5 years.
Tomorrow is my first scan..and will see how im doing with these medications...do pray for me plz...


----------



## Mumsy35

Ws Diya
Making dua all goes well for you inshaAllah. Just a step closer for you inshaAllah. Sending you lots of love and duas


----------



## Diya29

Asalamoalikum,
How are you everyone?
Had Et (one blastocyst)last week alhumdulilah.
Plz pray for me.


----------



## Inaaya

Diya exciting! When do u test? Any symptoms? 

Cosmo - no no polyps I have blocked tubes and had fluid in uterus a few times and thin lining but no polyps xx


----------



## Mumsy35

Ws Diya! Making dua all goes well in the next few days for you! Xxxx


----------



## Mumsy35

InshaAllah inshaAllah xxxx


----------



## sophiekh

Salaam All

I hope everyone who is going through treatment has a positive outcome Insha Allah xxxx


----------



## Zara03d

Salaams all,

I was wondering if anyone has used medina leaves whilst doing IVF, in particular drinking leaves as tea in the week leading up to say frozen transfer in sha allah please? xx


----------

