# Why can't I get pregnant?! Clomid user....



## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

hello ladies,
i am new to this site and very much in need of some girlie support, from women that can understand exactly what i am going thru...
i am 33 years old, me and my husband have been trying for a baby for just over 3 years.. we had all the tests done and apparantly there is nothing wrong with either of us! 
they started me on clomid 4 months ago, but no joy so far  
this month they gave me the HCG injection also, am due on this Friday and can feel it coming already! (sorry, i just cant seem to get positive - literally!) 
i am at my wits end, the clomid is making me so depressed, i have to come home from work every month as i cannot stop crying, i feel so so sad inside and just cannot understand why it is not happening for us?!
to make matters worse, my older sister is pregnant and due in 3 weeks (which i am OK with as she has 2 kids already and i knew she was trying for another) but recently found out my younger sister is also pregnant!!!!! she didn't even want a baby, and simply "forgot" to take her pill for 2 months! she is now 4 months pregnant and i am finding that very very hard to deal with... all of my friends have babies or are pregnant and although i think "why can't i be too?" i am genuinely happy for them all, but my younger sister's pregnancy has cut me like a knife, i feel even more pressure now.. both my sisters can get pregnant at the drop of a hat, why can't i? why, why, why... all i want to do is be a Mummy   
any advise, support or success stories on clomid would be most most welcome!
good luck to all you girlies out there trying for your little miracles x


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## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

Carly     Infertility, especially "unexplained" is so hard isn't it?  And even harder when it seems like other people close to you can fall pregnant at the drop of a hat!

We're in a different situation to you but I'm sure you will find lots of support and success stories on the clomid threads and on the cycle buddies threads (think they are in the 2ww section?).  For what it's worth, clomid helped me to concieve my gorgeous little boy who is now nearly two so it really can work  

Best of luck for this cycle - it's not over until it's over  
Pippi xx


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Carly and welcome to Fertility Friends 

I'd echo what Pippi has said  It doesnt seem fair at all, and it is so upsetting every month  Dont give up hope yet though hunny    We'll give you loads of support, encouragement and hugs when you need them x

Please have a look around and start posting around the boards and making friends. FF is a wonderfully supportive community and you can only get the best out of it if you start posting and joining in so, please do so. Here are some links you might find helpful at the moment&#8230;.

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Unexplained ~*CLICK HERE

*Clomid ~ *CLICK HERE

While undergoing treatment, you might find it useful to join other ladies having treatment at the same time. The Cycle Buddies threads are just for that. You will fnd a thread, usually with a funny/inspiring name for this year's buddies. Just pop along to the appropriate month and say "Hi" when you are ready to start treatment.

*Cycle buddies ~ *CLICK HERE

*2WW, Ladies in Waiting ~ *CLICK HERE

Some ladies find it useful to keep a diary, how treatment is going and offload their emotions etc, have a peek, maybe start your own? *Keep a diary of your treatment ~ * 
CLICK HERE

Its not all just serious stuff here, you can also have a bit of fun or just gossip while you are on FF too so check out the general chit chat / jokes / hobbies area:

*Girl & Boy talk - Community & Fun Board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our excellent chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area. It's a small world!

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

thank you for your kind words and support..  am looking forward to finding my way around the forum and finding hope and inspiration from you... its so nice to talk to women that understand   thank you x


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## Anj (Apr 26, 2009)

Welcome Carly,

I'm sorry to hear that your going through such an awful time, I'm at the same stage as you, 4th month clomid and nothing. My mood is so irratic i have a love hate relationship with those tablets. A work mate of mine told me that she is pregnant today, she told my seperatly as she knows what i'm going through which was nice of her, but oh my god am so jealous, plus my younger brother and his girlfriend are expecting. Like you i'm pleased for people, but end up thinking why cant it be me.
I try and keep up with success stories on clomid thread to keep me going (helps sometimes!)

Hope you ok and this month is your month
Anj x


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

thank you Anj x it definately helps to know i am not alone! 
will have a look at the clomid thread - still trying to find my way around!!
am not great today, have all the signs my period is on it's way.... but still dreading the day it actually comes!

love and luck to you all x


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## Anj (Apr 26, 2009)

Hello Carly,

yeah it helps to know people are going through the same, sometimes when i read peoples entries i'm always agreeing with em saying 'yes thats me!!'
I'm due at weekend and i have symptoms of period, like you say you know its on its way, but when it does come its awful, but lets be positive (oh dear have just used that word that people keep saying to me and i nearly scream at em!!)

Good luck for this month
Anj x


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hi Carly and welcome to FF 

I wish you loads and loads of luck with clomid, and I hope that you'll be one of the lucky ones on it. But I also wanted to say that when I took it for four cycles a couple of years ago it had me in tears constantly, and my emotions up and down the entire time. I logged on to FF back then, at my wits end, feeling awful because my sister was PG at the time, expecting the first grandchild, and I was just wanting to give up... the ladies on here were wonderful and I have come out the other end since then (although I still have my down days).  Both dh and I honestly believe those clomid cycles were worse than anything we've done since, including IUIs and IVFs, and the pressure to do-the-deed at the right times, so to speak, meant we were both stressed out and unhappy. 

Anyway, best of luck and I hope this is your lucky month - it really is a rotten ole drug, imo, and although it works for many women (lucky things!) there are other avenues you can try if it doesn't work for you.


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

thank you so much for your replies girls, really appreciate your support..
i got my period last week which is why i dissappeared for a few days!! am feeling OK now i guess, just got to get on with it really!

i spoke to my younger sister the other day too, and although it was very very hard for me to be all "how's you? how's bump?!" i done it, and i'm proud of myself for doing it... as much as she has hurt me it's not good for me to carry this hate around so i'm trying my best to be pleased for her now... i should have mentioned before, me and my younger sister have a strange relationship, my husband thinks she is jealous of me as she is always trying to spoil things for me (she turned up late for my wedding and missed all of the photos) lots of other things have happened which i wont bore you with, but that is why i found this even harder to deal with as i can't help but think she has gotten pregnant on purpose, just to spite me.. but anyway, like i said for my own sake (and sanity!) i need to let it go because it is what it is!! 

on a positive note, i'm trying reflexology tonight and am looking forward to it! if nothing else, just to ease some of the stress! 

will include you all in my prayers, and hope that the man upstairs answers them very soon!!!! x x x x x x x x x


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## Anj (Apr 26, 2009)

Hello carly,
Glad your thinking more positive, your sister sounds  ! A colleague at work has told me she's pregnant, why is everyone getting pregnant? next time someone tells me their preg i want to say 'like i care'!! just read that back and it makes me sound like a cow. Am like you trying to be all up beat and ask em about how they are and the bump. I have period pains at the mo so not long now til she shows up then its round 5 of clomid. Oh am in a whinging mood today, sorry.
Enjoy reflexology, let me know how it goes as i've been considering having a go


Anj xx


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

Hi Anj,
hope you are feeling a bit better today.. i am seriously up and down!! had the reflexology last night and it was great (highly recommend it to release some of the stress!) i've had accuppunture for the last 2 months and hated it! i found the needles really painful and was so anxious before each appointment, so i've decided to leave that alone for the time being a stick with reflexology! i really enjoyed it..
anyway, i came out of there all relaxed and my younger sister had phoned me, so i ended up popping round there for a cuppa... BAD MOVE! when i got home i was in absolute pieces, my husband didn't know what to do with me! i was sobbing my heart out.. 
i just find it so so hard when i look at her and think "it should have been me" her bump is getting bigger by the minute and i just can't deal with it! think i need to take a back seat again, as it all proved a little too much and i feel terrible today..
God this rolller coaster of emotions!!!!!!! i just want to get off now!
but there is no going back, just got to keep going forward.. as positively as we can!
love and luck to you all x x x


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## Anj (Apr 26, 2009)

Hi Carly,
Reflexology sounds great, i'm going to try and give it a go. 
Hope your feeling better today after seeing your sister, it is awful cos you want to be pleased for your sister, but then again you think why cant it be me, you do right taking time away from your sis, she should understand why.
I started back on clomid today round 5, Was an emotional wreck yesterday after i started my period, have already had to open the windows in the office as i'm already having hot flushes! Its so tiring having to pick yourself up every month and start all over again. Am sick of being negative and a miserable cow!!
Hope today is good for you
Love and good luck to you too

Anj xx


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## Kat A (Aug 27, 2009)

Hi Carly.

Lots and lots of luck to you. I hope the clomid works. 

Reading your message, your story sounds very similar to mine and lots of others that I have also read. Unexplained fertility is like being in limbo isn't it as there doesn't beem to be any reason why you aren't PG.

This site really is a fantastic network. You aren't alone and there are many hundreds of us in exactly the same position. Keep posting and stay positive as you will get there.

Kat
Xx


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

hi girls,
sorry if i am a bit all over the show on here, still getting used to it!
Anj, i've started having hot flushes too!! i didn't realise it was the clomid! the side effects are definately getting worse as time goes on, i've been having what i can only describe as "panic attacks" lately too.. i can't breathe, my heart starts flickering and i just want to run away... i wonder if that is all part of it too (or am i just stark raving mad?!!!!) 
i too am sick of being a negative miserable cow! such an awful place to be..

it has definately helped me having you girls to talk to, people that really understand.. 
i hate the "it will happen, just relax" b*llocks you get from those that don't!!!

Kat, thank you for your kind words and support, yes - i sometimes feel that "unexplained" is even more frustrating, but then that may be just because it is happening to me! how's things for you? 

love and luck to you all my little angels! x


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## Nursegladisemanual (Sep 19, 2009)

Hi there my name is Lisa,
i am new to this site and this is my first post. am not sure if i am in the right place or not ( same in private live too). I have been trying for 18 months now and i am too feeling sick of myself moaning and being sad. I have only just begun the journey i feel as i only had my appointment at the fertility clinic on the 7th sept. The stage where i am at now is waiting for a HSG , have had my trans vaginal scan but not sure what the results mean. other bloods and sperm analysis have come back normal. i feel stupid hoping they find a problem as this i can feel i can cope with better than not knowing the reason for my in ability to conceive.
If anyone knows about the normal sizes my ovaries and endometrium should be when i am coming up to ovulation please HELP. The scan did show no polyps or cysts which is good news i suppose ( am i twisted to wish they had found something  )but was told my measurements were not quite right, this was a nurse who read the results my next appointment not till February to see my consultant.


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## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

i'm new to this site, so only just reading up on things....but omg i've finally found other people who feel the way i have lately, and i was seriously starting to think i'd lost the plot.

5th month of clomid - & been contantly feeling bloated, with horrible hot flushes, & feeling sick & dizzy.  knowing i could feel my period a week before it came & crying at the drop of a hat. Everyone i see seems to have a bump or some "great news" to tell me. i've missed out social events as i feel so swollen, ill & depressed, i feel like fertility is the only thing on my mind & i hate that, i never thought i'd get obsessed like this.

it's definitely got worse with each cycle & it's started really upset my partner who thinks i should go to councelling or something, i've agreed i'll take councelling when we move to IVF in Nov (but hopefully i'll be pregnant by then).  Also got myself in a panic that i'm psycolgically stopping myself from getting pregnant by being so stressed, which in turn makes me more stressed, then i try and visualise being pregnant and then get upset because i just seem to have a feeling inside me telling me i never will be..........oh my god what is wrong with me, my moaning is even annoying me!

shelly 
x


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

Shelly,
you are so not alone babe.. i am in exactly the same place as you... (5th month of clomid and going ever so slightly insane!!!) 

i'm at work at the minute and just about to go into a meeting so have to log off...

i'll reply to you properly tomorrow but i just wanted to say welcome x x  x x


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## Anj (Apr 26, 2009)

Morning,
Shelly, I'm where you are in this clomid stuff, I am feeling exactly the same as you and the other girls on this site, you do right having the councelling, i was offered some at my gp at beginning of the year but i turned it down, think i would know better as i work in mental health! I hope today is a better day for you

Carly, Oh i know what you mean when people say "relax n it'll happen" my god i want to scream at them! just because some women just have to brush past a man and get pregnant!

Lisa, Hello am glad your results are coming back ok, when i had tests i wanted them to find something just so they could treat it and i'd get pregnant, i was innitialy given unexplained, then cons changed her mind this year and said anovulatory. Hope your HSG goes ok, i had one o those, they can be a little uncomfortable! I don't know what size follies are supposed to be i've nver been scanned. Sorry.

Kat: hope your ok today

As for me i went home early yesterday from work, felt crap with the clomid. Back at work today though trying to keep smiling and being positive (i hate that word!!)

Take care
Anj x


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## EverHopefulmum (Sep 23, 2009)

found out today that my boss (a woman) is being made redundant.  We have been working together for 9 years and i had been weighing up whether to tell her about ivf so that i would be less stressed out taking time off for ivf treatment & i knew she would be understanding....I don't believe it there is no chance now - i had a meeting with my new boss (a man) & because of all my emotions with the clomid etc i just burst into tears & couldn't stop crying - he must think i'm insane which is not a good start. 

Now i'm all stressed about work & building a new relationship at the sametime as having to take loads of time off & no longer having the capability to not cry every 10 min..........why oh why

must go, i've made myself feel sick with emotion again.
shelly  
x


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## Anj (Apr 26, 2009)

Hello Shelly,
Am sorry about your boss leaving, thats great timing. plus its typical that it will be a man, though after saying that i hope he's sympathetic to your needs. If i was you i'd tell him and put him in the picture and he should be supportive. Though it is hard to explain to a man the infertility rollercoaster (or a woman with a child)  it might make you feel better that you have got it off your chest.
Hope your ok and you can get yourself off home and relax and rest
Anj x


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## NTB1 (Jul 23, 2009)

Hi 
Just read your post and wanted to let u know that I totally understand (as will most of us on ff) wot it feels like when everyone around u seems to be getting pregnant.

My partner's sister and a friend of mine both gave birth in march, only a month after I discovered my only hope is IVF. I was still really fragile and emotional and trying to come to terms with the bad news so I found it soooo very hard to be happy for them.

I visited them in hospital and put on a brave face because I knew deep down that these were their special moments and I didnt want to let my negativity spoil it for them. But as soon as I left the building I would burst into tears at the unfairness of it all. 

It may not seem like it now but u will find it easier to be around ur sisters/friends babies in time. U just have to try and stay strong. I still hav my moments but its getting a little easier every day as Im sure it will for you. 

Sending u lots of   and big  
xx


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## Carly2810 (Sep 14, 2009)

Thank you NTB1!   :
i'm sure it will get a little easier in time, why does this all have to be so hard??!  

it's great to have all you fantastic girls here thou, it really is such a big help to know i am not alone anymore..

have great weekends, catch up again on Monday x x x


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## NTB1 (Jul 23, 2009)

You have a great wkend too hun and if u ever need a chat just send me a message/PM me.
Am always willing to listen
xx


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## Clomidia (Dec 13, 2007)

Hi Ladies... I had to add to my earlier post as dh reminded me later that he calls clomid "the crazy drug"  

And how he is right!!  

I would guess, based on my own experiences, it is the reason for the tears, the mood swings, the dizziness, the panic, the hot flushes (btw, trying taking tablets at night, it helps avoid h-f during the day!) and everything else... but I really hope and   it works for you 

Good luck to you all


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