# IVF with DP's egg's



## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Does anyone have any experience with this? Its something me and DP have talked about alot but were put off because of cost... however cost is not really a issue now.

Also with IVF is EC on a set date or is it all a bit drop of hat ish  ? I dont really know much about IVF as i've only really reseached IUI as we thought that was all we could afford etc so anything you can share with me would be greatly appreciated  

Thanks 

Em


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

i havent done it but would be interested in other people's experience too!

gabs and i thought lots of hassle and then we thought maybe for no 2 but i guess would really depend on the quality of her eggs (she is 41 this year) and whether we can BOTH come over to england for TX .... and IVF much more time is needed.

i think twinmummy used her dp's eggs and ummmm Terri maybe (off the top of my head) .....

ax


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

HI Aimee,

Thanks for your reply.... IVF seems so much more long winded and scary but if we are honest in a ideal world it is what we have always wanted to do but didnt think we could actually ever afford it but also the success rates are so much higher with IVF as opposed to IUI... its all so confusing and like a mindfield! 

Em xx


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

i don't know anything about ivf with DP eggs. i did offer once, hypothetically but we couldn't see the point. unless there is an actual issue there like DP wants a pregnancy but can't use her own eggs or one of you is desperate for a bio-child but not a pregnancy. not that we think people who do choose this route are wasting their money, we just thought it would be a waste of _our_ money. there are some people on the boards who have done this though. i'm sure they can be more helpful.

when you start ivf you will only have a rough idea of when EC and transfer are going to be. it all depends on how you go with the drugs. you could ask your clinic to have a look at one of their ivf protocols. that will explain what happens on roughly what day. might make it a bit clearer for you..

did you win the lottery?


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## Pinktink (Dec 17, 2008)

Hi 

Here's some information about IVF http://www.lwclinic.co.uk/download/IVF%20Info%2001.12.07.pdf - it's pretty in-depth, goes through all the treatment stages and the drugs used. It's from the LWC website, if you have a look on there, there is loads of information about success rates etc, which might be of interest to you. Me and my partner are going to be doing IVF with egg-sharing, because the success rates are higher than that of IUI. We've done loads of research, so let me know if you have any questions 

Good luck xxx

/links


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

not won the lottery but DP's mother really wants a bio grandchild and DP would like me to have her egg... i dont mind who's egg is it the important bit to me is carrying it and giving birth... DP's parents are helping with costs of IVF if we decide to do that.


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

how does that feel to you that they want a bio grand child so much?

i wonder if gabs reason for thinking about it is because she feels a bit of pressure from her parents.

the other day when gabs was away her mum mentioned to me that her dad had asked why gaby wasnt going to 'have' a baby too.  he had heard of a lesbian couple (the neice of a friend) where both partners carried and gave birth to a baby.  gaby hasnt ever tried to explain to them that its not important/she doesnt want to do that.  and she has always been concerned that they wouldnt feel like our child wasnt their grandchild if it wasnt bio related ... as her parents have been over the moon in their reaction i had just felt pleased everything was going to be accepted as ok.


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## mintyfaglady (Aug 25, 2007)

Hi Em,

We didn't go that route either, so no direct experience, but as Rosy said, egg collection happens when it needs to happen and is not on a fixed day, though they'll be able to give you a pretty good idea of when it's likely to be (within a day or so either side, and getting more accurate as they see from your monitoring leading up to collection how quickly or not the follicles are growing.

One more thing worth mentioning is that I've heard that IVF with donated eggs is circumstances like yours (i.e. to have your partner's bio-child, not because you have ovarian failure or are old and have low quality/quantity eggs, or there is something wrong with your eggs) is not quite as successful as IVF with your own eggs, and can have higher miscarriage rates. Something to do with the body sometimes rejecting "foreign" DNA? Weirdly, you're apparently at more risk of pre-eclampsia too, according to this article:- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4114006.stm

As with all things fertility-related though, there are lots of interwoven factors, lots of pros and cons and the choices each of us make are personal to our own unique circumstances, so if, on balance, this is the right thing for you guys to do, then good luck to you!

Minty
xxx

/links


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

that is very intresting Minty and does make total sense!


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## Misspie (Feb 1, 2009)

Funny isn't it with the inlaws...

Mine for the first time asked us directly, why Kate wasn't going to have the child, and how do we perseve them to take on a role within the family as they weren't going to be the bio grandparents.

We stated that first of all, it wasn't becasue Kate didn't want to get pregnant. She doens't feel ready quite yet, though is ready to have her own family, and that I was slightly older and we don't know how long it will take.

And on the grandparents role, we explained it would be no different as to my parents and only if thats what they wanted, and that we want them to be involved as we would if it was their own grandchild. 

We explained that as far as we were concerned it would be no different if kates brother had fertility problems and him and his g/f needed an egg/sperm donor or adopt they would want them to treat the child as if it was theirs.

This seemed to make them happy that they knew kate would eventually have a child as well, as she does want to experience the whole being pregnant. Plus that as this would officially be their first first grandchild, they want to be part of it as much as they can and hoped that they would too be classed as nan and granddad etc

But this is a big break through for us with her parents.....so fingers crossed we can continue as her mum is very interested in the whole process!



In-laws huh?!


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

TeriWW has done this on  this thread I am sure that they will share their experience
L x


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Aimee- to be honest im not to fussed that tehy want a bio grandchild as i think i've always known that... DNA is far more important to DP and her family than it is to me as apart from my mum that is pretty much all the family i have so i feel it would be really nice for our child to be able to relate to lots of other people... DP's family are scottish and all very close knit they have there own tartan and everything!!! DP has no desire what so ever to carry a baby where as i do really badly... i could carry anyones egg and it would be mine as it wouldnt have existed without me for 9 months... but i dont think i could bond with the child if DP carryed it... 
DP  says if we do it this way she will also feel more part of it she said she was beginning to feel a little like a spare part!! everyones different arnt they i guess.

Minty- thanks that is a good artical i'll show DP she'll be interested.

DP's mother in very interested in the whole process to she says she'll love a child that is biologically not DP's and i truely believe she would but when we mentioned this to her you should have heard her, her mouth went into overtime chatting about it and i could see a sparkle in her eye... im much closer to DP's mother than i am my own and i talk to her far more about these things with her than i do my own mother (me and my mother well frankly have a very poor relationship) she has always been supportive and is happy with whatever we choose but i know DNA is far more important to them all than it is to me or my mother.

Em x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

thats very interesting Em, thanks for sharing!

i totally see where you two are coming from on this way of doing things.  so nice you get on well with DPs ma.  lovely!

axxx


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## Misspie (Feb 1, 2009)

Ohh Em thats a shame you don't get on with your mum as well as DP's.

Though is fantastic of the support and can understand now your thoughts on eggs etc and it all makes sense from you end.

I think as long as your happy both of you and that you are aware of the procuders you shoulnd't let anyone stop you doing it!!

)


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Thanks guys the only thing that puts me off is if i was to get a BFP then M/C because my body rejects the embryo as its different DNA....


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## Misspie (Feb 1, 2009)

Thats understandable Em.

I worry about that now if I ver got a BFP with my own!!

xx


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

yeah i guess so either way theres always a worry isnt there! 

This ttc business is such a emotional minefield and we've not even started tx yet!!!


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## nina874 (Apr 13, 2007)

I wouldn't worry about that study, many of the clinics in the US have a much higher success rate on the cycles with donor eggs, some have a live birth rate per cycle of 80%!! That is an awesome figure which flies in the face of that study, and is significantly higher than the cycles where people use their own eggs.

I would also factor in that some recurrent miscarriages caused by the male and female DNA being too alike, which seems to create an embryo which isn't different enough, causing the body to attack it.

I think it is a lovely thing to carry your partners child, it will truly make that baby a little bit if both of you!!

Nina x


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

thanks Nina for your post.

if we do have our child this way its the closest we will probably ever get to having a child that is in some way biologically both ours... i know they are currently doing trials on making a child biologically both female parents with no sperm but they have been trialling this for years and years and i honestly cant see them getting anywhere near to this within our fertile lifetime!


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## nina874 (Apr 13, 2007)

I dont know that I would want to be the guinea pig for the first trials of it either 

I know that there have been studies done that prove even when donor eggs are used that the host body plays a part in which particular genetic characteristics are turned on and which are switched off, so I think what you are doing is the nearest you will get at the moment to a mix of the two of you! Good luck on your journey.

Nina x


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Nina thats really interesting thanks


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## mintyfaglady (Aug 25, 2007)

I reckon even if they do pull that off in a lab, they'd never licence it for use!

Using your partner's eggs is a lovely way for you both to be connected to your child in ways that might feel very important to you both. There's risks in every possible means of getting pregnant and no guarantees anything will work and yet, amazingly, the human race still keeps churning out those little darlings!

If you have the means of affording it and you both know what it involves for you and that's what you want, then why not, I reckon! From what you've said about you and your partner's feelings on the matter, and her family's views too, I think it sounds like a pretty sensible option for you.


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

thanks Minty i reckon your right plus i think explaining to a child "actually you know what they teach you at school about everyone coming from the egg and the sperm well thats not the case with you!" will be much harder for a child to understand when to be honest i dont even understand it myself  .

I think we'll definatly look at this approach and see what the clinic says if they think its a bad idea and is far more risky than it needs to be then we'll review it... but DP actually seems so much more interested in ttc now this may be a option for us!


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## cazinge (Apr 11, 2008)

Just for info, from what I've read they take the DNA out of a sperm cell (as the outside bit head/tail is only like a casing it's the bit inside that carries all the DNA) & then grow the same type of cell using bone marrow from a woman (retrieved just like a bone marrow donation) & then inject it into the empty sperm cell case et voila! 1 female sperm (sort of!)


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## Misspie (Feb 1, 2009)

Ohhh interesting - if only life was that sinple!!!


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Caz thats really interesting thanks... how modern medicine has come of leaps my MIL would say


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

nina874 said:


> I dont know that I would want to be the guinea pig for the first trials of it either
> 
> I know that there have been studies done that prove even when donor eggs are used that the host body plays a part in which particular genetic characteristics are turned on and which are switched off, so I think what you are doing is the nearest you will get at the moment to a mix of the two of you! Good luck on your journey.
> 
> Nina x


that maybe how one of twinmummy's boys looks like her even though they were both from her DP's eggs .... interesting isnt it? the MW apparantly said you dont know whats carried through from the placenta but that sounds like a much more 'scientific' idea.



nina874 said:


> I would also factor in that some recurrent miscarriages caused by the male and female DNA being too alike, which seems to create an embryo which isn't different enough, causing the body to attack it.
> 
> I think it is a lovely thing to carry your partners child, it will truly make that baby a little bit if both of you!!
> 
> Nina x


i always wondered about that when choosing a sperm donor ... we chose diff ones for each IUI ... just had a feeling that maybe some wouldnt be a match on some level.


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## sallylouise (Jan 30, 2009)

Hi Ladies,

DP and I had our appointment at LWC on Monday. All our blood tests came back fine today which is a relief...especially since I fainted, how embarrassing!!  I am going to use DP's eggs because mine are no longer viable (very high FSH) and she is 7 years younger than me. I know we've still got a long way to go but I feel really positive that things are moving in the right direction.

it is a minefield though. I'm already feeling stressed so have started to have hand and foot massage. It worked well today! I floated home in the car!


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

congratulations sallylouise!


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## Texas Rose (Aug 15, 2008)

I don't think I've posted here before, but right now DP and I are planning for me to carry his eggs (DP is trans but still has fully functioning ovaries/uterus/etc). We're both planning to donate eggs, freeze the 1/2 of mine that aren't donated, and use them next time around. We both feel pretty strongly about donating eggs and he feels strongly about me carrying one of his the first go around. We'll be using LWC and are just waiting on bloods to come back and for DP's consult. Mine's already through. 

I'd love to read some of those studies about donor eggs/sperm and host bodies triggering different things to be less/more prevalent. Any more info? Titles, authors?


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## TerriWW (Mar 8, 2007)

Hi Em

Been off work and not on the site for a week or so, so only just seen your thread.

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with my DPs baby. So it's definitely doable!

Our reasons for doing this are different to yours but the process is the same. Me and my DP always planned to carry one baby each. I had our son in 2005 and then we spent 3 years trying for Ju to get pregnant. She had various fertility issues it turns out (all down to a fibroid which was embolised and broke down and we think affected her lining. The bottom line is that after 6 iuis, 2ivfs and a FET, the clinic suggested she had a very low chance of success. We suggested surrogacy by me and they thought that was the ideal solution especially since I'd already had a child, it put our chances of success very high.

Our main issues were cost. We had already spent about 20K on fertility treatment (including that for our son) and it was 6K for the full process of me having her embryos. A standard ivf was 3K and a medicated IUI around 1K. If we reverted back to me doing the treatement with my eggs, we could have just dont the medicated IUI for 1k. But it was such a big thing to give ju this chance of a bio child that we agreed we'd give it one shot - luckily for us it worked!

what actually happens is that you both downregulate as you would in a standard IVF (these drugs knock out your own hormone system). Then, Ju took the stimulating drugs to grown follicles and I took drugs to thicken my lining. They have to do it this way to get both your cycles in synch so that the recipients uterus is ready to receive the embryos at the right time. Ju had her eggs removed and fertilised as per a normal IVF and then 2 of the fertilised embryos were put back in me 4 days later.

It's the same time scales as an IVF cycle. Seems ridiculously more expensive though!

The only thing I would say to you is that I don't think our clinic will do the procedure just because one DP doesn't want to carry. They would only do it for a medical reason ie ju had a fertility issue. From what I've seen though other clinics will do this just as a choice thing so it may just be a case of finding the right clinic.

As for worrying about miscarrying - I would let that put you off. You will worry about that whether you're using your eggs or your DPS eggs! It's how this whole thing goes. You worry about getting pregnant. Then you worry that the pregnancy will stick and the baby will be fine. Then the baby is born and you spend the rest of you life worrying that they are ok! 

Best of luck with it all. From what you've said it does sound like the perfect option for you. If you have any more questions just shout

Terri


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Hi Terri

thanks for your reply its good to here from someone who's done this... we've found 2 clinics that would do it and its about £6k each but we're now in limbo as the more we think about it the more we think it seems so invasive and such alot of money (not that we'd be paying for it but thats not really the point!) so i think we're gonna revert back to our original plan and do IUI first with my own eggs and take it from there and who knows if we fall on first IUI we'll have a stack of cash left to go shopping (my fave pastime) and buy baby things  

How is your pregnancy going so far?

Em x


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

HI texas rose just spotted your post sorry i wasnt being rude  

I havent got any of the links for that info but im sure some of the other girlies will pop along in a bit.

Welcome to FF!!


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## TerriWW (Mar 8, 2007)

HI Em

WEll I had really awful morning sickness until about 20 weeks but fine now and just counting the weeks down  

It might be a good plan to take the simple route first. ie IUI with you. I'd definitely do it with meds though not natural. You could always consider carrying your DPs embryos for number 2! 

Best of luck with whichever route you decide on.

Terri


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

Do you know if your having a girl or a boy yet Terri?

What meds do they give you then on a medicated IUI cycle? what do they do? Im guessing they thicken your lining or is it something else?

Em x


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## TerriWW (Mar 8, 2007)

Hi - We're having a girl this time - already got a 3.5 year old boy, Angus  

What they give you is a low dose of FSH. This is the hormone that stimulates your ovaries to produce follicles (which have the mature eggs in). It is the same drug used for ivf to give you lots of eggs but at a lower dose it is meant to give you 2 ish instead of the usual 1 and this obviously increases your chances of success (2 targets for the sperm instead of one!)

I had 6 natural cycles with no success. I did meds on my 7th and had a strange cycle and strange bleed which the clinic say may be have been an embryo that tried to implant but didn't succeed ie at least sperm met egg. I did meds again on my 8th cycle and it worked. I just think the chances are too low on natural cycles (it's 1 in 6 I think). I do have a friend who has had success with natural iui though.

Terri


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

thanks Terri im certain we are gonna ask for medicated now then!!

Have u thought of any names for your little girl yet? Angus is a nice name


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Welcome to FF Texas-Rose


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Texas Rose said:


> I'd love to read some of those studies about donor eggs/sperm and host bodies triggering different things to be less/more prevalent. Any more info? Titles, authors?


If you look up epigenetics it explain a lot about how the donor/partners embryo differs from being in another body http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=79093.0
there are a few reference to it on FF ut if not google it.
Good luck
L x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hi texas rose!

youve posted before though right?  your name rings a bell....


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## Twinmummy (Jul 17, 2008)

Hey everyone -

terri - you poor thing having sickness til 20 weeks ! totally feel for you ! 

***** mum, - i carried DP's eggs with our boys and it was a great pregnancy ! 2 eggs put in, both took and i carried them all the way to 38 weeks !! even then they wouldnt come out after x3 inducements it was the c-sec for me ! 

docs and so called 'experts' told me to expect me to have them at least by 32 weeks becuase 'my body would reject them as they are not genetically mine ' !!! sorry but what a loads of bullsh*t !!

please dont let it put you off what people tell you ! its a great way to do it . We did it so they could be a part of both of us which was important for us for the first children we had. I am now preg again and this time we used my egg and the same donor !! DP didnt fancy carrying but we have such a strong family bond now it dosent matter who carries/egg etc ! was just important that DP felt a part of it first time !

i have scanned the thread and noticed a comment from Nina874 !?? it makes sense becuase one of our sons really looks like me and my side of the family. Nobody believes us when we say genetically they are dP's !! the midwife at hosp when we had them said nobody knows what crosses the placenta and you carried them for 9 months girl so they are gonna look like you !!

regarding costs we used the LWC as it was the same price roughly last time and this time. Bout 6k but extras included icsi, sperm , embryo freezing etc !!

good luck - would be intrested to hear what you decided ! 

sorry if im rambling ! need me bed ha ha !!


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## lesbo_mum (Dec 22, 2008)

HI twinmummy

thanks for your reply i found it really interesting... we are not sure what we are gonna do now as the clinic we wanted to use (the esperance) say its gonna cost us £6000 ish per cycle and we're now thinking maybe we should just try IUI first..... whatever we decide i'll keep u updated..

Good luck with this pregnancy... does anything feel different this time to last time??

Em x


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

twinmummy - i thought of you and DP when i read what Nina wrote too ... very interesting isnt it!


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

that is very interesting JJ1. thanks for the links.


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

thanks jj1 ... i missed it first time round!  thanks ros for highlighting the link again!


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## pipgirl (Jul 11, 2007)

interesting thread


we are thinking of doing the same for a sibling in the future..we have embies in the freezer (7) and it makes no sense not to use them...dp may carry or if shes not sure at the time i will again...genetically they will be the same combo as this baby and that is more important to me than who carries..ie that our children have a common bio link (wether thats through me with frozen embies or through sperm donor with a fresh cycle for dp)..

Obviously its all very early days and whether dp carries at all will depend on what she sees happen to me during our impending labour!!!! Hee Hee

Best of luck

Pip


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## Texas Rose (Aug 15, 2008)

Been away from the board for a bit - thanks to everyone for the welcome!

We had our second consult at LWC yesterday and I'm definitely going to be carrying DP's eggs. He will be donating half and giving half to me. We're pretty excited! We still have to get some of the blood results back and all....and come up with the cash  . And then we're good to go!


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## Twinmummy (Jul 17, 2008)

Hey how exciting ! good luck , keep us posted !


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