# Waking & wanting bottles through the night - 16 months old



## Anabelle (Nov 6, 2004)

this is night 3 of our little one being home and we're really frustrated by what to do for the best.

First night he woke 3 times for a bottle and last night he only woke once, at 12am and then slept until 6.30am, apart from crying in his sleep every few hours. He is very restless and roams around the cot, sleeping at all different angles/positions - on his knees with bottom in the air is a favourite.  We feel that the bottle thing is looking for comfort, he has never had a dummy.

We tried keeping him up as late as possible tonight, but eventually gave in at 6.15pm as he was absolutely shattered.  He had a bottle and then went to sleep - took 10 mins.  But he woke again at 8.30pm for another half bottle.

At f/c he was very spoilt and just got what he wanted when he demanded it - one night during intros he had 5 bottles through the night and that was after 2 bottles whilst going to sleep.

We're at a loss what to do, we desperatly want to introduce a routine that will help him sleep right through, without the bottles.  Have read some advice which is to let him cry through it, but is this wise so early on?

Help!!!


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## Anabelle (Nov 6, 2004)

Oh no, he''s just woken again


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## Boggy (Dec 13, 2006)

Hi anabelle  

Congrats on your little one!!!  

I don't really have many words of wisdom I'm afraid.  It's early days, so I'd be tempted to "go with the flow" for a couple more days, however i can also understand you wanting to get into a better routine.  Cookie's bedtime routine was shocking when she came to us, and although we did change it from day one, she had no problems adapting.  She used to be propped up in a bed with her bottle then lifted into the cot.  Due to several very sicky episodes on night one, she now has her bottle in my arms and then i put her in her cot sleeping -some people wouldn't agree with me doing this but it's a special time for us.

Does he have a nap during the day?  We were told that cookie would cat-nap several times a day, but very quickly she found her own routine of a 15min-90 min nap late morning, but will still sleep 12-14 hours per night without waking.  FC's don't always know the best routine for a child, the child does!

I guess if you think the bottle is a comfort,  keep it going a couple more days (no more than that) till he is more settled.  Don't go on too long as you also need to set boundaries, but also don't try to change everything at once so if there are other areas with room for improvement then pick your moment.  Being a new mum is exhausting - you need your sleep too!  You could do "controlled crying" (not so much as letting them cry it out, more controlling how long they cry for) but I wouldn't recommend it so early in placement.  Does he use a bottle during the day?

After you stop giving him the milk during the night, be prepared to have a few more sleepless nights.  when he wakes, find a different way of comforting/reassuring him - maybe verbally or a slight touch but don't lift him out the cot or that will become a new tactic for attention from you!  Let him know you are available, but now is the time for sleeping. 

He doesn't need the milk, so don't worry about him being thirsty.  As for the strange sleeping postions, cookie is the same.  She sleeps with her head or body wedged against the cot side.  She must bump her head a dozen times a night!  Toddlers tend to be restless, sleeping is when they consolidate all they have learned during the day so it's not very restful!

Another thought - could he be teething and the sucking action soothing his gums?

Hang on in there - he will get into a better routine!  

Hope you understand my ramblings, I've probably contradicted myself all over!!  

Bx


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## dawny36 (Mar 28, 2007)

Hiya,

I would also advice not making any drastic changes just yet although it is not ideal at all is it? and feel for you as you need your sleep so much to cope with an energetic toddler!

Perhaps look at changing to water instead of milk? and see if it is a thirst thing, would it really be so bad to try a dummy ? if it means he sleeps through its better for all.

Please dont try the controlled crying technique he needs to know you are there to meet his needs and by not going to him could affect the attachment between the two of you some on here may disagree with me on this and obviously you need to research this technique yourself and make your own mind up.

Good luck and how is everthing else going?

Dawny
xx


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## keemjay (Jan 19, 2004)

hi Anabelle
i too would say try not to get all tough in these early days despite how much you feel you want to knock it on the head 
when you say he has a bottle do you mean a whole bottle each time he wakes? thats a lot of milk and he certainly shouldnt need that much during the night. i wonder what would happen if you just put say 2oz in and when it was finished put him back down again, or do you think he'd cry for more..might be worth a try as that way you'll find out if its hunger or just comfort. maybe he's settle for a small amount of milk and then pat/shush him gently in the cot? perhaps start watering the milk  down too?

littlie was 19 months when placed and i wasnt overjoyed thast she woke x2 a night for milk but went with the flow..for her it was just habit and comfort, she only slurped at it and went back down. in hindsight i think she lost her dummy at night and would have settled for just the dummy being put in. i started watering it down pretty quickly and about a month in she was poorly and doc said keep her off milk so i offered just water for a couple of nights..and bingo..after that she just used to wake for her lost dummy till i clipped it to her and that stopped all nighttime waking completely!

let us knoiw how you get on..here to help!

kj x


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## everhopeful (Feb 19, 2004)

Hiya
our first dd came at 20mths old and would cry 10-20 times in the night for her dummy. It was pure habit, she didn't need it. 

I would say it's still early days and you don't want to scupper the attachment plan but at his age he doesn't need night feeds anymore. Our newest dd came at 9mths and when I spoke to the health visitor, he said once they're at the weaning stage, they should be able to go through the night without a feed. So it sounds like it might just be a habit, comfort thing.

The other thing of course is you don't want to make a rod for your own back, because they soon learn that if they cry mummy will bring me something, they can cry even more. So it's a tricky one.
I would suggest maybe cutting down his night bottles slowly by 1oz per night until he's down to none, another thing is making his milk up with extra water, so it's watered down milk, once you've replaced all the milk in the bottle with water, he might realise it's not worth waking and crying for.

I'd speak to your HV for some more hints and tips. These are just ones that I learnt when both mine came to me.

Good luck


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## Viva (May 16, 2005)

Hi Annabel, 

Congratulations on the arrival of your son!

Our DD was 16 months when placed and like your littlie didn't have much of a routine, at FC's she would wake at almost anytime and would often be awake for long periods, she was also often given bottles (of diluted squash!) to help her go back to sleep. She was also in the FC's room which I don't think really helped. This is what we did to begin with, and yes I did have a few days of being really tired but she's a brilliant sleeper now so I think it was worth it. 

We had a chair in her room, which we kept dark, where I would give her a bedtime bottle and cuddle, rock and sing to her until she was asleep, which sometimes took up to an hour, I must have sung 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' countless times (it was the first song that she 'sang' spontaneously and almost completely in tune a few months ago!). Once she was properly asleep in put her in her cot, a few times I tried to do this too quickly and had to stay rocking, singing and cuddling for another half an hour or so! If she woke after that I would just go in and try and settle her back to sleep without getting her out the cot if possible, but more frequently I would have to cuddle her on my lap again. We kept a bottle on standby which we only used in desperation, such as when I had been up in the night for going on for 2 hours  . Within 2-3 weeks we found that we were having some nights where she was sleeping and not waking at all and within about 6-8 weeks it was becoming unusual to wake at all during the night. After about 3-4 months we decided to tackle the going to sleep routine and we did controlled crying and within about a week she started to be able to fall asleep easily. Incidentally I had also been rocking her to sleep for her afternoon nap and we started with this nap putting her down without being cuddled to sleep. To be honest I probably would have cuddled her to sleep for longer but she was beginning to get really cheeky and just wanted to play with me without any intention of trying to sleep and it was taking her longer and longer to drop off! 

I hope that this is a little helpful, but of course every child is very different and you will find that you will know instinctively what is the right thing for your child sooner than you think, so don't be swayed by others if you think your gut is telling you what to do! I would be a little cautious about using controlled crying at so early a stage though. 

On a final note my DD who has been ridiculously late teething, (nearly 2 1/2 and only just cutting her canines!) teethed for much of her first 6 months and we often gave her calpol at night to help her settle and sleep and that really seemed to help.

All the best.
Viva
X


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## Anabelle (Nov 6, 2004)

thanks for all the advice  

last night he slept for 12 hours, YES 12 hours, with only a few turnovers where he cried out in his sleep.

He is now teething, so he now screams for half an hour before going to sleep, as the warm milk seems to aggravate the pain, but he wont do without the bottle....gonna do cool milk for next few nights.  Bought a teething ring today, one that you put in the fridge and his little face tonight when dp put it on his gums, he was so relieved by the coolness against his gums.  I feel so helpless  

Gonns try out a few of your suggections

thanks
Anabelle
x


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