# Having a whingey, down day & just don't "see" this working *sigh*



## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Well, I just am in the mood for a whinge I think. I feel like staying in my jim jams and hibernating for a bit. 

I have been having so many different symptoms which seem to point towards a little natural miracle this month and have been feeling "yes, this is my month I FEEL pregnant" but last night I had a little bit of peachy coloured cm when I wiped and dull AF pains since. 
I'm 15DPO and have another few days to go (due Saturday - long LP!)
I just want to say Grrrrrrr to my body for fooling me into a teeny bit of hope

I've had windy-pops (pleasant!), bloating, heartburn, nausea, craving minty aero (!), spots, larger & darker nips, veiny bbs and more! At about 8DPO I woke having an OG in my sleep, at 10DPO I had a dream I was pregnant. Then a distant relative that I never see dreamt I had a little boy. All of it making me super positive that this was it. 

Today I feel like an idiot and am just waiting for the next few days for the witch to visit me properly. 

How do we do it girls? How do we dust ourselves down time and time again?


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey it not over till it over as you may have late implanation  as if you have been having all the signs and still having those signs then it still sound very promising  come on be postives.
Becky7 xx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Thanks for the reply Becky. I'm just beating myself up today. If time wasn't ticking by I think I'd have a break from all of this.

I'll take some positivity from the fact that I've made some changes lately and they seem to be making improvements in my chances. Onward and upward!


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi Clarissa,
Good luck, it does sound really promising.  
I'm just at the start of my 2ww, trying to keep positive this time & visualise myself getting that positive result. Possibly setting myself up for an even bigger fall, but it might just make a difference. 

If I had a few days to go then I would probably have done a test by now, so I love your restraint. I have so far spent a small fortune on pregnancy tests.  

I'll keep everything crossed for you, let us know how you get on.  
Scotgirl.xx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Thank you Scotgirl,

I must say I felt like it was promising right up to last night and today and now I feel like a fool - I'm dreading Saturday because the witch is due and also because I have a lot of heavy equipment to lift for my job that day (and up two lots of stairs too)

I'm putting off testing for as long as I can and I have no tests in the house so I won't crumble!!

Good luck with your 2WW - keep up the positive thinking, it's definately the nicest way to go about it all


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

You're not a fool, you've still got hope and thats amazing.   Well I hope you can get some help with the heavy lifting. Bring on Saturday.  
xxx


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Hey clarissa,
I could have written your post! I was convinced I was pg last month, as with yourself I had all the symptoms, was convinced I had implantation bleeding etc etc.. I think it's just that we want it sooo much that we convince ourselves the occasional windy pops as you put it ( ) is an early sign, and that twinges are stretching uterus signs blah blah blah. But you know what, it might just be, and even if it's not it's no bad thing learning to listen to your body, I spent years floating along not paying any attention to my cycle and how it actually feels.. and the more I pay attention the more I learn for the next month. Nothing is wasted energy, you're just listening and learning. Hope the witch is a no show and sure if she does make an appearance give her a kick up the ar*e from me. You're no fool just hopeful and that's not to be knocked.
X
D


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## Hoppity (Mar 19, 2012)

Clarissa, completely understand. As the other girls have said already you're not foolish!

My 2ww is nearly over. My AF is due tmw, I did have symptoms last week but nothing now. I got dizzy, faint, nauseas. 

We have to be hopeful every month, one day it might just be us  

Take it easy if you can 

Jules x


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## Mrs B (was Mrs B to be) (Dec 4, 2009)

Look after yourself. Keeping everything crossed for you xx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Thank you ladies!
I feel much brighter today (back to my old self) but still convinced "I'm out" - I don't know why this month felt any different to each month of the past 3 years but it did. 

JulesNotts - any sign of AF yet? Fingers crossed for you

I'll post when my AF comes so you all know I'm not going mad


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Sending huge hugs, I think we've all been there Clarissa - having had a successful fertility treatment, I would say that your symptoms seem to be all pregnancy related  (but some of those symptoms wouldn't actually occur until later in a pregnancy) - but saying that, I had very similar symptoms quite a few times over the years when I literally ached for a baby - maybe it's the mind playing tricks on us and our hormones and emotions.  Infertility is all engulfing, it doesn't just affect the body, but your waking moments - I'm soooo hoping its good news for you hun - as well as all you lovely ladies who are still waiting for magic and miracles to happen - believe me, I know that they do    
Sheila


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Well, I was right.

I started to bleed yesterday (early) and I seem to be having an 'odd' AF. It's different to my usual ones but maybe because I'm so Grrrrrrr-y about it.

Back on the ball next week


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## Sheilaweb (Mar 21, 2006)

Oh no Clarissa - sending huge hugs my luv - our bodies can be soo cruel xxx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Aww thats sad news Clarissa.   Really hope you can pick yourself up and start again, as heartbreaking as it is. Big hugs.  

I'm testing in a few days and don't feel any different from every other month.   Trying so hard to stay positive but I'm realistic - period is due on Saturday.  

Take care,
Scotgirl.xx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Thank you ladies

Scotgirl - good luck for your test. Pop back in and let us know how you get on.

The sunshine has certainly taken the edge of another unlucky month - except now there is a lot more work to be done to make myself bed-worthy now it's lighter at night


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Heehee, bedworthy!  
Good luck with that. Yes I will let you know. 
xxx


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## Hoppity (Mar 19, 2012)

hehe I know that feeling!

Clarissa I was so sorry to read about your disappointment. Huge hugs   

We have to keep believing, and this wonderful sunshine is certainly lifting the spirit and helping with the positive vibes!

Lots of love to you,

Jules x


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Tested today 10dpo & got BFN.   Maybe just tested too early - I'll try again in a few days.

*sigh!  

Scotgirl.xx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Oh Scotgirl, that IS too early 

Get a little bit of sunshine on your shoulders and test again in a day or so


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Yeah hope so, just couldn't hold off any longer. Still got no symptoms, but trying to stay positive.

Didn't get the job I interviewed for on Monday, just got the bad news today.   That would be fine if I got my BFP in a few days.     Just found out one of my close friends is ttc now, not trying as such just not preventing! Oh to be that casual about it all!  

Hope everyone else is ok,

Scotgirl.xx


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## lily1980 (Feb 2, 2012)

Scotgirl is it so rubbish when everyone else is so casual about it.  My best friend told me that she fell pregnant the 1st month of trying...followed up with 'clearly its not just teenage girls who are highly fertile'!!!  Arrrggghhh...in all fairness to her she doesn't know we were TTC so I really shouldn't complain about it!xxx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Yup, even the expression 'FELL pregnant' - oh if only it was that easy!   

xx


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## Hoppity (Mar 19, 2012)

And now Robbie Williams is all over the news today because he tweeted "we had sex! It works!" about conceiving his first baby.  

Thanks for letting us know how easy you found it Mr Williams, and I'm glad that for you, conceiving a baby was pleasurable and didn't involve legs in stirrups.

Actually, saying that, you never know with wild young Robbie eh?


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Hi everyone

Scotgirl - how are you doing? Have you tested again yet? Wishing you so much good luck xx

How is everyone else? 
I'm just gearing up for my next appointment with the consultant on Tuesday to hear what's next (if anything!!)


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## lily1980 (Feb 2, 2012)

JulesNott you so read my mind.  I heard the Robbie Daddy news late last night and I text my husband who was out working to vent my frstration that someone who has openly admitted to not leading a healthly lifestyle just becomes a parent so easily.  I must regain perspective  

Clarissa I hope your appointment goes well with your consultant  

I'm at the gynae clinic on Wednesday hopefully to get the green light for the fibroid eviction.  I have all my questison at the ready thanks to the various threads and advice on FF.  Normally my DH would go with me but he has a work thing that he raelly can't get out off so will need to keep my head clear and make sure I get answers!!! xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Hi Clarissa, 
Yeah i got another BFN yesterday using CB test.  so yesterday was tough. Period is due today so just waiting for that final confirmation bfore I hit the vino. No babies for me this year.  

Best wishes to everyone.
Kirsty.xxox


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## Hoppity (Mar 19, 2012)

I'm so sorry Kirsty. 

We all deserve our miracles it's so hard when they don't happen..

Stay strong

love Jules x


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Oh Kirsty - so sorry that it's a BFN. There is still a chance that the witch won't come to visit tomorrow but if she does, you know we are all here for you to give you a virtual squeeze.
I'll be thinking about you x


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks guys,
your support is so much appreciated.  

Kirsty.xox


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## duckybun (Feb 14, 2012)

Aww Kirsty you just made me cry... I never thought about it like that before.. 

'no babies for me this year'

Just got my af this morning so I guess we'll both have to wait till next year for our little bundles. I guess I've gotten so bogged down in the 2ww every month (for what seems like forever) that I've almost forgotten about the 9 month wait that follows! 
Stay   it will happen, it has to..

x
d


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Aww sorry D! Yes my PMA has definitely gone out the window towards the end of my 2ww.  

I'm still waiting on A/F - its like a cruel joke. Last few times I used OPK I got AF exactly 13 days after ovulation. Now its 14 days after ovulation & got another BFN this morning (FR). Not funny mother nature! Waiting to see it every time I go to the loo.   Then I can try and move on, start a new cycle, have a little cry!  

Kirsty.x


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Morning Kirsty, how are you doing today?

Our bodies are an absolute nightmare when it comes to things like this - we certainly get used to being 'tested' by ourselves don't we? 

We're all here and will go through our next cycles together whatever happens x


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks Clarissa,

I'm ok. My hubby is being so nice to me, he went out this morning and bought pineapple juice cos I told him yesterday it helps to thicken womb lining or something! Still no sign of AF yet today. Just got off work so in need of some sleep - I'm a residential childcare worker. Spent all night wondering if I might be pg, just hasn't shown up on the peesticks. I know thats highly unlikely and I must be going a bit  .

Yup so glad we're all in it together.   Good luck for your appointment tomorrow.    it all goes well & you figure out what to do next.

Scotgirl.xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Omg I got a   this morning! Did a CB digital test & my hubby was looking at it & it finally said Pregnant 1-2 weeks!! I cried my eyes out, could not believe it.   I'm in total shock.

Its been a tough 2 weeks - I couldn't have got through it without my FF friends. Love &   to all.

Kirsty.xx


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## ClarissaN (Jan 1, 2012)

Oh YAY!!!!!!!!!

That has absolutely made my day - Congratulations and take super-dooper care of yourself. xxxx


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## BECKY7 (Feb 2, 2011)

Hey ladies  hope you don't mind me crashing here with you all as I have been reading all your post and how wonderful for you Kirsty  and hope you will enjoy your pregnant for the next 8 month.

I have been using my CBM and I am 3dpo  already I got mild back pain  have been very tired that I had to have a nap in the last 2 day and now I start to get spasam on my stomach  not sure what tat about  and I am trying not to read too much into it.

Ladies  what day are you.

Becky7 xx


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## Hoppity (Mar 19, 2012)

Kirsty what wonderful news! So very very pleased for you. 

Take it easy,

Jules x


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## lily1980 (Feb 2, 2012)

Kirsty congratulations!!!  xxx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks all, still in shock. Gonna do another test tomorrow morning just to double check, after all the BFNs we got before. Hubby is not totally convinced!   I'm super excited. Don't know how I will get through the next few months keeping this to myself. 

Best wishes to all,

Kirsty.xx


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## Artypants (Jan 6, 2012)

Congratulation Kirsty really pleased for you, I am also in the 2ww but after the last year of tryng I know I am not PG, not even going to bother doing a test this month, I am just hoping our appointment comes round quickly its such a long wait! xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

Thanks Artypants,

Sorry to hear that it hasn't worked this month.   Hope you get your appointment soon. 

Its all waiting this fertility stuff!   Drives you potty!

Kirsty.xx


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## Artypants (Jan 6, 2012)

Thanks Kirsty, I a OK about it, I guess you get used to it every month, I booked myself in for my AMH test so I may get a clearer picture of whats going on/wrong each month, groupon were doing a fertility special today for £85 for an AMH blod test, a doppler scan of your follicles, womab and lady bits, plus a 1 hour consultation so thought I would bite the bullet and do it. DB also gets a sperm test as well. Hopefuly it might explain a few things! 

Hope you are feeling ok xx


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## Scotgirl28 (Mar 2, 2012)

No we never got used to the disappointment every month, it was crushing. I'll never forget the longest year of my life ttc. Wow, groupon do offers for everything!   That sounds excellent, hopefully theres something that can be easily sorted. 

Best of luck, hope you get your appointment soon and find out whats going on.  

Kirsty.xx


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