# A chance for a fresh start - but how?



## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Kia Ora me old mates! Yes we made it to New Zealand in spite of everything the British weather could throw at us! (I tell you we could have really done without a tonne of snow landing on us just as our last-minute preparations reached fever pitch). Anyway, we got here, have shaken off the jet-lag and are now settling in to our new home.

The Kiwis are friendly and warm and they want to know all about us (naturally).  And of course they ask us about children. In the UK I used to use the useful standby of 'Sadly no'. But I feel a bit awkward about saying that. But at the same time if I just say 'No' then people might think I detest children and have chosen not to have them... But on the other hand I don't want to have to go into some long story to explain myself - you just don't do that with strangers (unless you want them to back away slowly then run like mad!!!!) Well, you know. I want to be open but part of this move was to draw a line. Trouble is that people of our age (just like in the UK) have children around their feet or are putting them through college (that makes me feel old!) I have to say that both of us feel much stronger with the whole thing than we did, say, a year ago. So I guess we'll handle it better. We even had no trouble talking to a friend's wife who told us her birth story (hmmmm... tmi?) while at te same time being extremely over excited about her daughter's pregnancy and impending birth.

Gosh - we have come so far - and not just geographically!

Bernie xxx


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## jq (Nov 14, 2006)

Hi Bernie,

So good to hear from you. It sounds like you are doing really well on your NZ adventure. 

I have also responded to your reply to my recent post, so please have a read of that.

I am going to be in NZ for about a week in late May - winter then I guess? On my way to my little brother's wedding in Fiji. He has just settled in NZ for good, so I have a whole new set of people to meet out there.

So much to share with you, but for now I have to go to bed!

Lots of love,

Jq xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

So glad you're there safe and sound and getting settled!  

The only alternative to 'sadly no' I've found is 'no, how about you' ... obviously only works if the answer isn't obvious (ie they are running round their feet   ) but it does have the advantage of giving off 'I do like children' vibes

Tbh I'm not sure even getting older is going to help - people will always ask, and then they start off with the whole grandchildren thing ...  A lady in my choir was complaining the other day that she was probably going to spend christmas just with her husband next year as her children are travelling and how odd it was because 'christmas is all about children' ... I think she was a bit taken aback at being told by a much younger woman to look on the bright side of things and that christmas is about so much more than that, and that you can't base all your happiness around children as the whole point is they grow up and fly the nest, and how lovely it is to celebrate one's relationship with one's partner by really spending time together etc etc   (ok, I did feel a bit bad afterwards   )

But hopefully once people have got to know you and got passed the basic questions you'll move on to a more meaningful friendship where it doesn't have to be an issue any more!

I am sooo jealous of you when I look out of the window at the weather today ...  

Jx
Jx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

Thanks jq and Pol. You are right, as people get to know me they will see more sides to me. I guess these questions about children are early right-off-the-bat type ones, which people prob think are safe cos, let's face it, most people my age have kids. No, I'm not going into one (lol)! Just facing facts. I am determined to draw a line - but stay open to every kind of person. 

On the subject of drawing a line - I think my body has, too. My last period was 2nd Feb and still no sign of it. This is very unusual for me since I have been pretty regular 28 days (early if anything). Maybe it's the change in hemisphere (!!!) It's unusual too because I'm not worrying about whether I'm preggers. For once I'm being sane and rational - it's just late and I'm NOT buying any preggo tests. So there. All the same it would be good to know when it's coming (as I wouldn't want to flood anywhere public - excuse my bluntness!)

Oh the things we have to deal with!!!
Bernie xxx


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

So, what's it like?  How is your new home and have you got chickens yet    Are you renting for the time being of fully settled now?  

Jx


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## Myownangel (Aug 24, 2005)

We are renting to start with - and this place isn't ideal. It is smaller than our house, but the rent is low and it is convenient for hubby's work. We are in the city and so we can fully explore Christchurch. The chickns will come later - we hope to get what they call a 'lifestyle plot' - a house and a few acres of land on the outskirts. Somewhere between Christchurch and the mountains! There is some stunning countryside just minutes away - but we need to get ourselves settle in befor we think of buying. Also - much of the old stock housing is quite basic in terms of efficiency, ecofriendliness etc. We want solar heating, underfloor heating and double glazing, so my take a little while to find the right property.

It really is a beautiful place - loads of parks with mature trees - I really can't get over the trees they are enormous. They have redwoods, next to mature copper beech, next to palm trees (!) next to gigantic limeflower trees and mighty elms, yews - oh the list goes on... It is a tree-lover's paradise (!) A river runs through the city and is very scenic. Lots going on too in terms of culture - just been to a latin danc festival and there's a jazz festival coming up. There is theatre, gigs and crafting workshops - I am in my element! So much to find out about and so much to do! So far it has been the tonic we needed - I could get used to this lifestyle - especially the hot thermal pool resort just an hour and a half away in the mountains!

Bernie


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## Pol (Mar 9, 2007)

Wow that sounds fabulous!  I'm a real 'tree person' so I think I'd just be in heaven!!  Great that there is so much to do too!  Sometimes you see those relocation programmes and it just looks so difficult in terms of how people actually get to meet new people etc, but with all these things going on it sounds perfect.

With the new house - are you thinking of renovating or looking for the perfect house all done and finished?  We renovated when we moved to Derbyshire - we were lucky enough to be able to rent at the same time - and it was so much easier than I thought!  We did the easy work ourselves, and I project managed the various tradespeople, and it was a really fab experience in terms of really making a home we love, but also so much of it was really fun!

Hope things are continuing well

Jx


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