# Advice needed, when did you start mat leave?



## Battenberry (Mar 18, 2009)

Hi lovely ladies,

Sorry I've not posted for a while, but been following the boards to see how everyone is getting on    I've searched but can't seem to find a thread (so apologise if I've missed a similar discussion before), but I just wondered if you'd be able to give me some advice on when you started mat leave? My job involves quite a lot of driving (an hour commute either way, plus visits to people's homes), I work on my own quite a lot which can be stressful, and to top it off I'm still being sick, which is interfering quite a lot and I've had to have a few days off work (personally I think I've done well just to have a few days off but I think work think differently!) I had planned to work as long as possible so I can have plenty of time off with the LO afterwards, but wondering now if this is going to be too difficult.  When I googled "when to start mat leave" I found quite a few reports of women working up until their due date..   Now I can readily admit that the thought of doing that makes me want to cry! 
I know it's impossible to predict what I'll feel like later on in the pregnancy, but thought you lovely ladies may be able to give me some idea how you got on, and whether you thought you left work at around the right time? I'd be really grateful for any advice, as I'm getting my knickers in a twist about it now and have to make a decision by next week really.
Thanks, B x x


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## Guest (Oct 7, 2009)

Hi Battenberry, 

Like you, and most first timers, I wanted to work for as long as possible to have more time off when LO arrives. Also like you I had terrible sickness and just got on with work really. I am a nurse and at that point had a busy ward job and by the end I was totally knackered and couldn't bend down to empty catheter bags anymore   sorry TMI! I ended up taking a week off sick before my mat leave was due to start and i'm glad I finished earlier as DS was 9 days early so I would have had very few 'me' days before he was born. I think it is a good idea not to finish too early otherwise you drive yourself potty waiting fo the baby to come as the last month is very frustrating as you are so excited about meeting your LO. The other problem is that you just don't know how you are going to feel physically at that point. I imagine all that driving you do may start to be a bit uncomfortable. I know a lot of people, including myself would have finished earlier in hindsight. I would say add another week on to what you CURRENTLY think is a sensible idea


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## leoaimee (Jun 3, 2008)

hay battenbury -

i was very lucky and had a great pergnancy no sickness, some crazy hormonal emotional outbursts in the first tri and ate like a pig but generally was very well.  i went part time, halving my hours for about four weeks before i went on mat leave.  and my actual day of leaving was about 3 weeks before my due date, but waters broke at 38 weeks so in fact i had popped into work the week before!  it suited me fine.  but everyone is different.

are you still in first tri?  sorry i cant remember.  you may start to have more energy in second.  but probably will be really tired by 3rd.

it is a balance between having a rest at the end, and not going bonkers waiting!

but i would say four weeks before your edd ... and if you can ask your work for some flexibility or cutting down hours or less driving for about 6 weeks before that maybe that would be ideal ... is that poss?

love aimeex


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Well I'l be no use here really because I was so ill and on sick leave for the last 4 months of my pg - and quite a lot even before that  . But I'd agree with moo2275 - don't go to extremes either way and probably a week earlier than you think.

Good luck


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## PootleFlump (Jan 9, 2009)

Hi Battenbury,

When I was pregnant with number one I worked until 2 weeks before my due date - and, in retrospect, that was too late.  It was a high pressure job, with a big team to manage, and I had an hour commute each way and was getting to work for 7:45/8 in the morning and getting home at 7ish at night.  The drive was too much at that point - I was physically and emotionally exhausted (not helped by a boss who got every last thing out of me he could before I went off) - and my DP had to intervene and ask my Dad to drive me into to work on the last 3-4 days.  Prior to that I had reached the point of sobbing on my way in as I was so uncomfortable (not like me at all, 'cos I can usually just get on with it). In my experience the last trimester at work is really odd because you hit a point where you are so disinterested at work (hormones are mad things!!), but you have to keep on delivering.  But some of the hardest stuff was the discomfort of a long drive.  

With number two I left 3 weeks before due date, which was better in terms of managing the physical tiredness - but he was two weeks 'late' which meant I was crawling the walls at home!!  I had changed job and the pressure was less ( they were more supportive) but was driving 2.5 hours each way a couple of days a week until about 6 weeks before the due date, and my normal commute was an hour each way.  In the last 6 weeks, my employers were really good about me working from home more often until I went off, and it made a massive difference. 

My advice is to start Mat leave at least 3 weeks prior to due date (especially with a first baby - because your life changes so much, and the tiredness, for me, was harder to get used to with the first, so the rest in advance is more needed).  A week or so extra at the end of Mat leave doesn't make as much difference as being knackered before the brth!!!  If you have scope to do more time from home in the last 6-8 weeks then plan that in wth your employer ... it reallly makes a difference ( and is in their interests 'cos it can mean you don't end up on sick leave and absent before they and you anticipate).  It made a massive difference to me second time around.

Hope that helps,

Nicky


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## jo36 (Aug 12, 2008)

Some sound advice here I think. I gave up work with DD at 36 weeks and I do remember being so disinterested in my work, just couldn't wait to leave. I hope to do the same this time, as I felt I really needed that time to get 'in the zone' of childbirth and all its preparations. Plus I was waddling around like a fattened duck mostly in pain as I has symphis pubis dysfunction, which I've been told I'm more than likely to get again this time. Oh the joy! But I think 4 weeks is about what you should be aiming for, and if things change, then lets hope your current employers are flexible enough to accommodate new plans. I'd have a word with them if your still at all concerned.


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## snagglepat (Sep 13, 2004)

I'd echo the above. I stopped working at 35 weeks but I had a week of holidays to take before I started my official mat leave so that only kicked in at 36 weeks. At the end of the day though if you're feeling too rough then you may need to change your plans. You've got to find a balance that works for you. 

Best wishes,

Gina. x


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## Battenberry (Mar 18, 2009)

Hi there,

Thanks so much for all your replies, they've been a big help. I was feeling a bit of a wuss by thinking about going earlier than I had previously planned, but now my thinking is changing, and I think every pregnancy is different and everyone is different!

Thanks for all your support. I'm the first in our circle of friends really to be pg so it's great to get some advice from parents who've been there already.

Lots of love,
B x x


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## dyketastic (Nov 21, 2008)

Hi Battenberry

This is something that has been playing on my mind for the last few weeks as i am becoming increasingly demotivated at work.  Although my job isnt physically demanding it can be very emotionally demanding.  Im a Social Worker and have been finding some of the child protection i deal with much more emotionally difficult (im blaming the hormones  ).  Originally i wanted to work until 38 weeks as wanted as much time off as poss once bean arrives but have now decided to go off at 36 weeks, which i'm really excited about as with my saved A/L and that where i work closes over xmas to new year i will finish work on Xmas Eve (33 weeks pg).  Things that i found myself worrying about i now feel much clamer about knowing i have that time to prepare.  I would say do whatever feels right for you, i was feeling that going off early was a bit wimpish but feel so much better knowing that i am.

Dawn

PS Whats your due date?  I think we are about the same, my EDD is 13th Feb


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## Battenberry (Mar 18, 2009)

Hi Dawn,

Thanks for your reply, lovely to hear from someone in the same boat! My EDD is just a few days after yours, 17th Feb! I'll be watching to see how you get on  

I too am finding things at work more difficult and am blaming the hormones for being   at times, and have also had to take some time off due to the sickness continuing so I've been struggling a bit with that too. It's really funny, as I had been reconsidering my plan, and had come up with starting mat leave at 36 weeks, but I have saved up some holiday so can leave between Christmas and New Year. That's unless work try to make me leave earlier because I've had time off with the sickness, but I hope not! It's reassuring to know that's what you're doing too, I feel happier now that plan is a good one!

Thanks for your help! Hope all goes well for you  

B x x


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## nismat (Mar 7, 2005)

You both sound like you have a good plan to me; it's very nice to have a decent amount of time off before the baby arrives (and you can't count on them not arriving early!). Some of my friends worked up until 38 weeks, and I really don't know how they did it. 
I finished pretty early, but it was a bit different for me because of the work I do/did, and the fact that I work freelance rather than for an employer. Basically, the work that I was mostly doing then was food styling for photography, each day of which involved a 2hr drive in to London (ready to start by 9am), then standing/cooking all day, with maybe a 15 min break to sit down for lunch if the photographer agreed to stop for lunch. If we were working with natural light then the day was super-intense as we had to get all the shots done before the light went, so no breaks (although we would be done 3.30pm/4ish, it being autumn/winter then). And then all the clearing up/packing up and drive home again. Really draining physically. So I took the decision to stop at Christmas (2 1/2 months before due date), and only did home-based recipe work from then until about a month before EDD, at which point I stopped completely. It wasn't great financially, but I loved having the time to "get ready" and do some baby sewing projects etc.


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## rosypie (Feb 1, 2007)

i stopped at 36 weeks and found the last week of work really difficult; a commute, a busy period, a handover etc... i was even more knackered the week after i'd stopped. i have no idea how i'd have coped if i'd left it any later. i'd have probably stopped at 35 weeks second time around. if i'd had a job the second time around


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## dyketastic (Nov 21, 2008)

10 weeks and counting everyday   

Battenberry, thats me, you and emnjo that are due within a week.  Winter Rainbow Babies


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## dyketastic (Nov 21, 2008)

and after a day like today like Rosypie said i dont think i could keep going after 36 weeks


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## Battenberry (Mar 18, 2009)

Just filled my forms in for mat leave at work so it's all official (well it just needs signing off by my manager but she didn't voice any concerns during the meeting) and feel some relief at getting that sorted, keep counting down Dyketastic it'll remind me there's not too much longer to go! (but a lot to fit in though  ) Like you and Rosypie I can't imagine going beyond 36 weeks either!

B x x


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