# Changing child's middle name



## Moni17 (Aug 16, 2011)

Wondering if anyone has any advice with regards to changing a child's middle name. Our daughter (12 months) joined us a month ago. She has a distinctive and unusual middle name for a girl and so we are thinking of changing it. Her social worker confirmed we can give her a middle name of our choice but indicated that we should also keep the middle name given by her birth mother.

Her middle name is linked to her birth father's name but he has never seen her or wanted anything to do with her. The reason we are thinking of changing the name is because 1) we don't want her named after someone who wanted nothing to do with her, 2) because the name is unusual it will lead to questions from others which she may find difficult/awkward to answer. We are however concerned as to whether it is 'right' for us to seek to change the middle name she was given by her birth mother and would welcome views from others on this point!


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## Mouseycat (Oct 25, 2011)

Hi

We changed our LO middle name completely, we kept his first name though.
Hope that helps


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## -x-Lolly-x- (Feb 3, 2012)

Little pink had a few middle names, we dropped them all and chose our own. It was never questioned. I think your reasons are very valid. Go with your gut. Congratulations on being a mummy xxx


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

We too dropped the middle name and replaced it with our choice.
As lolly said - go with your gut xx


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

We changed middle names both have middle names after our grandparents a family middle name with a nice story about our relationships with those people for them same as any child.  I thought changing middle names was totally standard I don't know anyone asked to keep it. Your family do what you think is best the sw can give it to their child as a name if she's so attached to it. Xxx


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## Forgetmenot (Jun 22, 2010)

We are losing middle names and giving our own x fairly normal I think x


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## Mummy DIY Diva (Feb 18, 2012)

Sorry if I sound arsy not being aimed at you just get annoyed with SW's upsetting loving parents with ridiculous things hugs xx


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## Gertie5050 (Nov 25, 2011)

like lolly our little man had quite a few middle names, so didn't go with any of them and give him a new one, do what is best for you and your family xxx


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

We changed our sons middle name as with our last name we thought he would get the Micky taken out of him, (Would sound rude) also I wanted him to have my dads name. They were fine when I asked to change it.


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## Moni17 (Aug 16, 2011)

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It has been really helpful to hear that is seems to be standard to change the middle name. I now feel more confident in raising this issue with her social worker! Thanks x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

We actually changed our lo's first and middle names against our sw's opinion or advice! However we did foster to adopt so we went to matching panel knowing this was what we wanted to do and our good reasons behind it. Our sw made a point of putting it in the matching panel report so as to try and rock the boat, unfortunately it backfired spectacularly for her when the entire panel agreed it wasn't just sensible but entirely necessary to do so! She looked pretty stupid that day!


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

We changed Pixie's first name, kept his middle name and kept his birth name as his second middle name. All with panel and sw blessing. The only thing they asked was if we would keep his birth name somewhere which we did. I think his sw thought there were bigger things to get het up about!


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

Our boy had two middle names, we were going to drop both and just give him my husbands name as a middle one. As it happened we kept his third/middle name, as it's a) nice and b) the same name as a very famous baby who he shares a birthday with, so we thought it was quite cute!


No one even asked why we'd done this, it was a complete non issue.


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

Our daughter had a double barrel forename which we dropped to the former part only. We then added a middle name of our choice.

We had been home for about 10 weeks when it was suggested to us about completely changing forename - we didn't as we didn't feel it was necessary, it's a pretty name, it's her name, and we knew her as that, our family knew her as that and she identified herself as that. We were quite shocked when it was brought up as it had never been mentioned before that?!?


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## Flash123 (Jan 29, 2006)

Nicola we had the same. It was suggested months into placement!


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

Our LO didn't come with any middle names and we always planned to change his name by putting in a middle name, then just calling him by that instead. However, by the time we met him, we were so used to calling him by his birth name and he really suited it.
In the end we call him my his birth name and added in two middle names -one with a good meaning and one which is a family name on both sides.


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## Lorella (Jan 10, 2013)

We kept LO middle name because we like it and already the name if a family member. I really wanted to add in my middle name but my DH felt strongly that he wanted to keep LO name the same as what's on her original birth certificate (apart from surname of course). I went with it but part of me regrets not changing middle name now x


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## Kate71 (Nov 3, 2011)

When we first found out about our LO we were told he didn't have a middle name so we chose 2 middle names for him that were significant to our family. When he was actually placed with us and we received his birth certificate we were surprised to see that he did actually already have middle names - can you believe it - the exact 2 middle names we had chosen for him and in the same order! Hairs on the back of the neck time and just emphasised just how he was meant for us!


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## littlepoppy86 (Feb 14, 2014)

Same as becs we was advised not to...

Court paper work came an I just thought I'd write what I wanted to expecting SW to say no and all went through fine...

SW doesn't even know we changed it! As soon as the order was granted she dropped off the face of the earth! X


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

I changed my son's middle name. SS even gave me the option of changing his 1st name (as it's similar to someone else in my family). I think sometimes it depends on the social workers involved...
Good luck, Kiz  x


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## marmalade999 (Mar 9, 2015)

Hi ladies

we have been matched today with a lo who is 18months old. he has the same forename as my DH's son!! SW is insistent that we keep his name but we are thinking of swapping middle name to forename?? having 2 boys in the house with the same name is ridiculous!!

shall we be open about our intention??


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## Arrows (Nov 9, 2008)

That makes sense.
I think it's more that the child will be used to their name and answer to it at this point. It's going to be confusing for them when you call out the name of your DH's son too though. 
there's no reason you can't keep his name as is and just start using the middle name I suppose? Or perhaps there's a name that uses the same nickname? I.E. Ben can be used for Benjamin or Benedict.
Although SW's have an impact, particularly on placement, they don't actually get a say on the name when you apply for the adoption order.
Your decision!


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

Sws can be ridic. I would be minded to say nothing until you put in the application for the AO.


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## marmalade999 (Mar 9, 2015)

Thanks for the reply  
Just don't want to be deceitful but it's not fair on either of them they haven't considered the impact on the birth child either. There are no abbreviations eg birth son is dave or David.  They are saying the match is David and NOT abbreviated!!! We will have to do it. Imagine poor kid explaining to everyone he has a brother with the same name and us as parents doing the same! Oh it's coz he's adopted. .....I don't think so!


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## MummyPhinie (Oct 27, 2013)

We changed our children's middle names. 2 of them were a bit ridiculous. They have all unique first names and we were concerned about how identifiable they were. We discussed with out sw s and they were fully onboard, Our middle child I really was concerned about, however he and his older sibling were very much attached to these and had a number of items with name on. However he was known as his initials most of the time so we nipped it it the bud! We gave them all family names, all 4 grandparents are now represented across the family, so their names retain their bf identity but also ours. My middle childs middle name is lovely and not too dissimilar to his first name and he can change it when he is older (we also call it him sometimes!)


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