# After some opinions



## wibble-wobble (Apr 16, 2011)

Hi

Today I received 2 pen portraits of donors I've been matched to. The basic looks eye/hair colour etc which is at the top of the page.

Then further down they get different this is how they are

Choice 1

occupation
interests
skills
reasons for donating
about me

Choice 2

interests
reasons for donating
goodwill message

I know that donors are all anonymous and that it is their choice what info they share about themselves. I just wondered why 1 has left an about me and the other a goodwill message. Does the fact that 1 has left a goodwill message say that basically he is not really interested in the child finding him when they reach 18? I wouldn't want a child of mine to maybe go and seek a man that will turn him/her away


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## deirdre11 (Sep 22, 2010)

Hi w-w,

Can't be sure but sometimes agencies change their forms and then don't ask existing donors to put in answers to the new questions, only the newer donors do? Worth asking the agency?

Good luck!

D


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## goldbunny (Mar 26, 2012)

wibble you can't prevent that anyway people's circumstances change - a young man might be willing to have contact but feel differently later in life when he is married or has his own family. deirdre makes a good point about agency information they may just have had different questions asked. best wishes for your choice.


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## LittleMissM (Jul 23, 2010)

Having actually donated from an egg point of view, I have to say that in my experience I wasnt given any guidance and the forms were basic. I was told to put what I wanted but having never done it before was really unsure what to put.


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## Rachfins (Jun 18, 2010)

Donors have to through counselling before they can donate. They will be well aware of what they are doing and could be contacted at 18.

Rach x


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## Mistletoe (Holly) (Jan 1, 2007)

I don't think you can go on what they have put on a pen sketch and start reading in between the lines.
I have had the same donor twice and got similar but different snippets of information both times. The first time around it was put that my donor liked on line gaming. That really put me off as I thought he was a gambler, despite everything else in the profile being great. The next time it was something like computers put instead.

I rang the donor bank and had a chat with them as I did not feel i had enough to go on to choose the father of my baby the first time. The staff in the donor bank get to know them really well as they come in 3 times a week for months. I wanted to know if my donor was reasonably physically attractive and whether he had a nice personality.
The donor staff can't give any identifying information, but they were willing to tell me that in their eyes my donor was good looking and that he had a really nice chatty, outgoing in a nice way, personality. I found that much more reassuring than looking at a bit of paper with a few words that had me analysing.

Perhaps the donors are asked different questions. One may have been donating for 3 years and another for 1 year, and the forms may have been updated. I don't think a good will message means that they wouldn't want to be traced. Without seeing what they wrote it is difficult to say. Perhaps it is their feeling that writing something to the child to have while they are young is more important.

Perhaps the first donor feels that his occupation is unique and may lead to you identifying him.

Just a point, my clinic only give you the pen sketch information after you have a live baby. I am applying for what he has written to my child or about himself now. I have no idea what he has left for my 10 month old son. All I had was basic physical, occupational, interests and qualifications to go on before treatment.

Try not to get too hung up on it and just go with gut feeling and chat to the donor bank staff for a better feel.


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