# IVF for a needlephobic !! Part 2



## Rachel (Mar 10, 2004)

New home. 

Lots of love and luck to you all     

Rachel xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

The weekend must have been really tough. Really not the best time for you to find out that the rest of your family is dropping them like no-ones business!! Sending you a big cyber hug    I hope the consultant had good news for you at your review appt. The fact you got pregnant on your first attempt must be a good sign so just hang on in there and you'll be catching up with the rest of your sprog dropping family in no time  

My nephew was staying with us last week so we got to do trips out to the wildlife park, pictures to see Surfs Up (which was good by the way) and other fun things 7 year olds like! DH is going through his second childhood and had recently bought a wii which my nephew loved   

CG xxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

sorry i havent been about much, job is now in final stages of administration and all of my pals have now gone    mind you we have had a pub lunch for 3 hours every friday since it happened so not all bad !!!  redundancy and people leaving has happened in waves so we have to have proper send off dont we !! 

We are all going out for one final blat next week so i reckon it might be messy, of course i will be a good girl, this temple of a body couldnt possibly be seen drinking 

A Wii hey - is it good fun ??  we have everything but not that - i wont buy one because we have psp's, x boxes, xbox 360, playstations, nintendos etc etc etc and they all lay about unused until one day we might have a 2 hour session and then it gets retired again !!  the only thing we use to full capacity is the buzz jungle on playstation 2, very funny and addictive - it is for age 3 children   thats why we can play it !!!

We had a dinner party round our friends last week, there are 6 of us who regularly get together for food and games - took the buzz as they asked, only trouble was i drank way too much far too quickly and fell asleep on their kitchen floor at 9pm - waking at 1am as they were all going to bed !! was very embarassing - but at least i wasnt !!  maybe the snoring but hey they are my buddies who cares !!  I am suprised i didnt wake up with my eyebrows shaved or a marker pen beard !!

We are having a quiet weekend this one as next week i have my works leaving party, then on saturday my family get together which is fancy dress - still havent sorted that out yet - i think we are going as grotbags and emu !

anyway - hope you lovely ladies are all doing well

love always

me
xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hey everyone

just enjoying a little glass of vino with my sunday roast.  Died my hair this morning, it was how my work mates used to know me - as annie with the different hairdo's fortnightly  so as we are all going out on friday for one last blast i thought i had better give em something to talk about !!  only trouble is that i got mahogany - but it isnt really sure if it wants to be red or purple - so my head looks a bit like a squashed blackberry at the moment !!!

I had my protocol arrive yesterday - so all very real now again.  6 weeks to D-day !!  I really do need to lose some weight so will drink this weekend and next weekend as i have a mental one planned and then must try to lose as much as i can in the following weeks  

Hope you are all having a great weekend

love always

me (blackberry head !)
xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Morning ladies

I need some advice.  I have great news in that i have been asked to attend an interview for a new job.  I really want the job too as it is within a school office so would mean i had holidays etc off.  The million dollar question is that should i be honest about my upcoming treatment ?

If i tell them and the truth is out there it may not look good as they will just believe i am going to work for 6 months and then be off for maternity.  That isnt my plan though - as i earn more than craig it has always been our intention for him to stay home and bring up the children.  I also dont believe in being dishonest and after what my current boss has just done to me after 16 years would like to start new employment under complete honesty.

However, on the other hand - if i dont start until November then i wouldnt need to announce it, a normal person trying for a baby wouldnt go into interview and say - by the way i am having sex tonight and i might get pregnant would they ?  If i am offered the job and accept it - I suppose i could then be honest before i started and tell them that i am pregnant (hopefully!) as there is always the possibility that treatment wont work and i wont get pregnant anyway.  

It is such a dilemma i really dont know what to do for the best - would be great if you could all offer your opinion.

Lots of love always

ann
xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

where are you all ??  need my mad buddies - stories to swap !!

Really embarassed myslef on friday night.  Two of my work colleagues had a disagreement and it was very much handbags at dawn - my young collegue was so het up that i thought i could make him laugh by giving his head a shake across my new found cleavage , sadly he didnt flinch or calm down and now i have to face them all tomorrow with such shame !!!   Mind you i was very proud of my new found boobs !!  had a brand new ultimo bra on - boosted my teeny A cup to at least an A & a half  

I had such a hangover i couldnt manage breakfast and needed to lay down all day yesterday, sadly i had to perform at my yearly family get together as i am the nutty member of the family !!  After an evening on the magners - i didnt let them down !!   My dancing skills get very elaborate once oiled !!

Have promised myself just one more weekend on the beer and then i will behave again ready for treatment.

Hope you all having a great weekend

Love always

me
xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Blackberry Head!

Sorry for being awol, I've just been really tired in the evenings so not logged on much this past week. We were away at the weekend too, with friends so despite having started my cycle I must admit to a glass of vino or 2   Well it would have been rude not too given it was one of our friends birthdays!

The weather couldn't have been better so we had a lovely afternoon on the beach yesterday. DH made an impressive sandcastle for his god-daughter. Unfortunately the tide was out so we didn't get to see the sea! 

Sorry to hear that the company you worked for has gone under. It's such a horrible position to be in - it's happened to my DH twice. I don't think there's any connection   

Re. your dilemma - I'd say try to resist the temptation for honesty. As you say no-one else would dream of telling them they were having baby making sex so why should you tell them you're trying for a baby - I'm afraid it's a risk any employer takes taking on ladies of child bearing age! If you get offered the job before you know the results of this next cycle you've nothing to tell them anyway so don't feel bad about it. Keep stum and if you get the job and get pregnant you don't need to tell them it was as a result of IVF or at least not til some time down the line. 

Not sure what to suggest about your embarrassing night out - how do you do it?!   Perhaps you could say the dye had gone to your head....or just wear that ultimo bra into work on Monday and be proud of those big (.) (.) ..... 

CG xxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Cg

good to hear from you.  Hoping this cycle goes well for you x

It was very embarassing today !!  the young lad still hadnt calmed down and still wasnt amused at having his head stuffed down some middle age drunken birds chest !!  Not to worry - gave us all a much deserved giggle !!

We are going to go out on the beer next week when we finish too so will wear the same bra and see if a repeat performance shocks him !!!  ha ha 

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Guess he might be giving you and your bra a wide berth next time you're out on the beer   Then again if he doens't it could be because he's hoping for a repeat performance but too embarrassed to say he's fallen for an old bird  

Wonder which one it is.....

CG xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

So did you lead your colleague astray again this week - you and your wonder bra?  

I went for my scan today and all being well and my little frosties survive the thaw we're in for ET on Monday. 

Joey - hope you are ok hun and just recharging you batteries at the moment. Let us know how you're getting on when you're up to it.

Have a great weekend, love, CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

no repeat performance this week, one of my longest standig buddies (also my ex boyfriend - 17 yrs ago) was made redundant yesterday - it felt like my left arm had been cut off as me, him and richard the yard manager are a superb team - and now it is broken.  Very sad day !  so i cried instead - ad everyone found that even worse !!  i think they truly believe i am possessed now !

We  are all meeting up for a bender when us final 12 get the push - lots of afternoon drinking and many boob flashes me thinks, maybe a mooney too  

I will have everything crossed for you on monday - PUPO hey - enjoy it and i want notes every day 

love always

ann
xxxxxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Cg

will be thinking about you - hope all goes well today

sending you loads of hugs, kisses and every positive vibe i can muster

lots of love always

ann
xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Thanks Ann those vibes did the trick! Both frosties survived the thaw and are now on board.  

I was really stressed by the time we got to the clinic as I'd bled over the weekend and thought it was a sure sign things were going to go wrong. Thankfully the spotting stopped yesterday though and the news on my 2 embies was good! Feel very lucky to have got this far just hope they are little fighters 

Still feel a bit numb from it all at the moment - guess it's the relief. I'll be carrying my embies with pride tomorrow  

Sorry works so rubbish at the moment. Any more news about that job at the school you mentioned a few posts ago?

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Flower

excellent news - am soooooo happy         PUPO my girl !!!  am sending more and more sticky sticky vibes for you !!

How was the transfer ? I always hate that bit.

Job interview is in morning - am pooping it - just been researching interview techniques as last one i attended was 16 years ago !!

make sure you resting up properly and do as doctors tell you !! I want reports every day

Love always

ann
xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

am so excited i had to share !!!  I got my Job !!!!!

I will be starting on the 1st december - so have time to do the treatment and hopefully become preggars before starting !!

I totally fluffed the interview and thought i had no chance of job, I was asked a question i had no idea how to answer - so i started rambling on and then somewhere in the middle realised i had no idea where i was going with the subject or how to answer the question !!  I confessed and put it down to nerves, he rephrased the question and i did a repeat performance !!  so was completely convinced all was lost - then had to take a test - was to create a publication - that was no problem and i reckon i earnt brownie points by surfing the net and finding their logo to attach to mine (know the others didnt !! - so was round 2 to me !!)

They called me a short while ago to offer me the position - its so far away from what i know its a complete career change - i feel so alive its great !!  crap money compared to what i am on - but hey who cares - can only be seen as a positive turn in luck !!

hope everyone else is doing well

lots of love always

me
xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

That's great news Ann - congratulations on the new job   I hate interviews and considering it was your first in 16 years you've done incredibly well! They must have been impressed to ring you today. 

 you're pregnant by the time you start. Here's to a fresh start and a change of luck     Of course now you're working at a school you'll have to behave yourself - hangovers and rubbing the teachers head in your boobies will only result in detention  

The transfer was the best so far thanks. Shame I can't say the same about the cyclogest   Whoever invented it had a weird sense of humour  

Have found it difficult to take it easy this time - keep thinking of all the things I ought to be doing on my week off and lazing about isn't one of them! Ventured out today as thought my embies might be going stir crazy like me!   Tho not sure how impressed they were with Waitrose, the post office & the building society ...

DH and were at my brother and sister in laws on Sunday. My nephew is 6 months old and gorgeous. Just kept wondering if we'd ever get to be that contented family picture.  

CG xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

hey you

I will have no talk like that !!  of course you will be that family picture !!  this is it - we have seen each other through the bad times and now here we are taking a turn at the good times !!  you will have twins - hopefully boys - when you arent up to the job - i have some gel they rest their heads on !! 

Make sure you take it easy - waitrose shopping is probably far too exciting for a lady in your condition !!!

I am just having a celebratory bevvy for myself !!

My drugs are being delivered on Friday - so all go then - just got to pary my period comes on time now !!  is due friday so keep everything crossed

xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi flower

how are you and those bubbas 

I had my drugs delivered today, so now have a whole fridge full of wine & gonal F pens !!  what a combination hey !!

I still have another fortnight at least at work so my leaving party is getting pushed further and further away - wont be able to drink and in turn scare the little lads at this rate !!

Hope you are well - taking it easy too !!!

lots of love always

ann
xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi sweetie

how are those embies doing ??  gone mad on the 2ww yet ??

I am being officially made redundant on tuesday - tomorrow will be my last full day at swiftwood - got half day on friday and on monday too - friday getting mop chopped and then off in the van so we will have a boozy weekend !!  then monday off to sign consent forms and collect needles for treatment !!

Egg collection should be middle of november so not long now !!

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

End of one era beginning of a new and better one for you hun    

Now wine and Gonal F would be a good mixture - I take it you'll be through the fridge of wine by the end of this weekend then   

I've stocked up in case I'm back on it, caffeine and chocolate from Monday. Monday is the dreaded test day so I've decided to take the day off. Just can't bear the thought of bursting into tears in work - it'll be difficult enough by Tues! 

Haven't gone   yet but am really irritable and hormonal (some would say no change) so it's been an interesting week at work with me and my hackles rising at every possible opportunity!! My colleagues must wonder why I'm so wound up after a week off  

Heating broke down Saturday which is a real pain. We've got an old rayburn that serves as a boiler so I've been busy this week trying to get people to come out and give us a quote for a replacement. It had to wait til the end of my week off didn't it just to be extra awkward! DH meanwhile is sunning himself in the States "on business". 

Have a great weekend. 

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Petal

will have everything crossed and double crossed for a positive test in the morning - will DH be back to enjoy it with you ??

I am just finishing the magners delivery we had !!  weekend was superb and we had great fun at kelling heath on our bikes - yes i did a little excercise   - falling into ditches whilst under the influence - all very entertaining !!  swishing my chemical toilet behind a group of people too - all the time chuckling at the noise (was very drunk - should not have been in charge of prota potti at this point !   ) mind you after the number of tuts i received they are all lucky not to have worn it !!

will speak tomorrow

love always

ann

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

Afraid it's bad news from me. Got a BFN this morning  

Going to have to go the donor route now. Probably for the best. Can't take any more of this  

Love, 

CG xxxxxxxx


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Just seen your sad news CG.

So sorry hun 

Take care of yourself & DH
Natasha x


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Cg

I am so so sorry honey, sending you all the love in the world - if you need someone to talk to i am always here

love always

ann
xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann, 

I hope you're starting the alcohol detox! Thought I'd pop in and wish you and your DH luck with that all important first injection. I hope you both survive it without any injuries  

How are things with you now that you're footloose and job free?

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

1st one over - both petrified and was terrible, only 43 more to do !!!  must be bloody mad !!

Its weird not being at work but as i am collecting debts for the administrators it doesnt seem like i have finished - they are still asking me hundreds of questions!

Popped in to my new place of employment on monday and it felt like i had always known them - pretty sure i am going to love it although might be in way over my head - will see how it pans out.

Also went to the job centre to sign on as unemployed - they want me to apply for temporary position until new job starts !! I ask you !!1 I have paid into the system for 16 years of my life and now i need a little time out they wont let me !! 

How are you ??  have you investigated donor route ??

xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

well i am definately putting myself up for a bravery award !!!  have done the 5th jab today and already struggling - finding that i have the most unrelenting feelings of dread before the sting - not sure how we are going to cope for next 4 weeks !!  especially when we get up to two a day !!!

We went away for the weekend in teh motorhome - did hunstanton first where i had the most amazing hot flush nearly got down to my knickers on the beach - in the middle of october !!!

Then we went to sandringham estate - sat in woods and made a brew, dunked some jammy dodgers too - waiting for queen - guess she was busy though - no loss ate hers too !!  

hope you are all well

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

5 down already - doesn't time fly by when you're having fun! 

Sounds like your new job will be great if you already feel you've known them for ages - not that you'll be with them for that long   With any luck it'll be 7 months then off on maternity leave   One good thing about hot flushes in the winter is you won't feel the cold   Can't imagine downregging in the height of summer. 

If the job centre finds you a job to go for just turn up unwashed, hormonal and with a bad attitude - they won't want you anyway  

DH and I spotted a motorhome at the weekend and thought of you.... Glad you had a good weekend hob nobbing with royalty or at least nr them!

We're still trying to work out whether to blow some money on a good holiday or be sensible and put the money we'd spend on 2 weeks in the sun towards a new rayburn and the next lot of tx. Decisions, decisions ....

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Cg

6 down and still counting !!!  tomorrow will be half way through stage 1 - what a goal !!!  only trouble is that then makes me half way to blood test !!!  bummer !!!

Motor home is fab - we have had so much fun in it this year it has definately helped through the dark times - only trouble is though that now with huge pay cut and loss of company car we are going to be tight for a while - thank god its winter and we wont be away as much !!   

I got my drugs from the allied health place and have to say we have saved a packet - so if the unthinkable happens and we dont get PG i would consider saving for another tx !!

I must admit there has to be a time when you give up - but holidays can be had anytime - tx is on a timescale isnt it - where did you get your treatment and drugs from ??  perhaps savings to be had and you could get both in !!  

xxxxxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Everyone

1 week in now and cant believe how fast it seems to have gone - I think its cos we managed to get away at the weekend - does make all the difference doesnt it.

I feel tired but have insomnia, feel angry but want to cry all the time, have a headache and generally feel crap with the odd hot flush thrown in - tell me why i am doing thsi ?

xxxxxx


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## charlottesweb (Oct 23, 2006)

Hello ladies

Can I join you? I can't believe there is a thread for needlephobics....I thought I was the only one daft enough to go through this   

I had a bloodtest this morning and am still going through the 'aftershocks' - I keep getting flashbacks and feeling a little faint.    I'd had hypnotherapy and my sister came with me but I still had a terrible time. The worst bit was a stupid woman in the waiting room who gave me the "don't be silly dear...it doesn't hurt!!" speach as I hobbled past her white as a sheet. I nearly clonked her one (only I was too terrified for physical violence  )

I must ask, am I the only one who even finds reading this thread a little uncomfortable (the old thread especially, I had to skim some parts as I felt a little sick even reading the words)?

I'm determined to go through this though. I am having my treatment abroad and, if I get pregnant, will have to inject heparin for 12 weeks. Also I live alone so I'm going to have to inject myself a lot of the time. My friends tell me that I will feel so proud to have conquered my fear. Yeah right...sheer utter relief is what i'll feel! 

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Catherine
x


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Catherine

welcome to my world !!!  I am just as bad as you - and cringe at the thought of it all !!  I am not just needlephobic though - am vein phobic too - my biggest fear is blood taking - Even typing that word let alone saying it causes my veins to turn to lead !!!

I have my first BT on Thursday - am pooping myself - This is my third time through it all and i have no idea how i have done it !!  

The injections are done by my hubby - he sticks me and then runs !!  I could never do it myself - you are so brave - I know that even if my life depended on it that i would not be able to do it - mind you the weird thing is that i know i would be able to do it if somebody elses life depended on it !!  ??

The biggest biggest ultimate fear combined for me is having a local anaesthetic - needle and vein in back of hand are just mental traumas for me - I have had four in the past year and each one has been worse than the other - my last experience with some young nurses leaving me so traumatised i have no idea how i am going to do it this time for egg collection !!!  Even the doctor suggested i seek help after scaring the anaesthetist and trying to break a nurses arm !!

I too have had hypnotherapy and did find that it helped a little - before i had it i would throw such a paddy that they never ever got nearme with a needle - now they get to me and i throw a paddy with the side of my body they are not using !!  very funny to watch i should imagine.  I have no shame though and have huge streamers of snot across my face, act about age 2 and then feint, all very comical - cant believe my hubby keeps coming back for more !!

I dont think i will ever get better but have learnt to deal with it as best i can.  Hopefully i will be able to help you through it too.

Every day i have a jab - i have to hold on tightly to the headboard, cover over every bit of body except the runway area of the leg he is attacking - put a pillow over my head and just hold on for 10 seconds of terror - it hurts like bloody hell - i scream through most of it , then cry, feel bad sick and feint for about half an hour and then try to convince myself its all for the greater good !!!  This is just the first part - on thursday if all is well we start the gonal f pens - the clicking on them sends me into hysteria so i have to use an mp3 player to block out the sound !!

After a blood test i cannot do anything for the rest of the day - have to come home and go to bed as i feel so bad - cant put my arm straight either as my head tells me there is a hole (no not hole - the grand canyon!) is in my arm and if i straighten it i will bleed to death - how strange is that !!!  I am an intelligent woman too - which makes it even more weird !!!

Anyway - I have no shame, dont get humiliated by my phobia and do not suffer in silence   you are definately on the right thread 

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi girls,

Hope you're both well. 

Catherine - welcome you're in good needlephobic company   I'm dead impressed with you if you can overcome your fear of needles to inject yourself. I've been through 3 cycles of IVF and still can't bring myself to look at the needle going into me    DH tried to get me to do it myself once because we thought he might be going away during tx one time and my hand wouldn't stop shaking as soon as I picked up the injection - no matter how I tried the shakes wouldn't stop and I couldn't bring myself to inject myself. Felt really stupid and haven't tried since! I see you're off to Reprofit. We might be heading off there ourselves soon so we may be able to swap notes  

Ann - if you're feeling headachy, tired, hormonal and weepy it sounds like the drugs are working - not long to go before you start stimming   Keep concentrating on the end goal hun.   

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Everyone

1st blood test tomorrow - oh my god cant hold my arms out straight now and feel like i have lead running through my body !!  WHAT FUN THIS IS GOING TO BE !!

I am now at the hating it stage, Craigs jab this morning hurt like hell - every inch of leg is getting bruised now - it also bled like hell this morning.  Cant believe i will be going on to the gonal F pens tomorrow - no idea how we will get through those !!

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

Invest in a tube of arnica cream for those bruised legs hun.   Why not try injecting your stomach? I found it better given the layer of fat I had there!!

Hope the blood test wasn't too traumatic and you didn't hit anyone   

Catherine - how are you getting on? Getting excited or more worried yet?

All ok here, apart from fact I'm being a moody cow   Can't even blame the treatment any more unless the hormones are still working there way out!

Have a good weekend.

CG xxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

well i have been a big brave girlie so far !!  thursdays blood test was 4 refusals and managed it on 5th attempt - today i had 3 refusals and managed it on the 4th go - weird thing was that i didnt feel it today either !!

I have some stinker of bruises on my legs where jabs have been - odd thing is that they are all where jabs that didnt hurt have been !!

6 follies showing themselves today - but only day 5 so not much to report yet.  I did feel much better today when we went though as we had been away to sandringham in the motor home for the weekend - was very tired last night and so the trauma of blood test had evaded my mind and i had good sound sleep - reckon that helped with my calmness today.

everyone enjoy some fireworks over weekend ?

xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hello all

3rd blood test tomorrow !!  scooting on through them now !!  

Gonal F Pens disappearing nicely now as well !!  will be gald to reach the end i can tell you - although dreading the anaesthetic !

We have just had bill - poor old boy has only charged £220 - he will wish he had boosted that after meeting with me !!  

xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

3rd test done !!  12 follies now ranging from 0.6 to 1.3mm - so moving along ok although i now feel like utter poop !!  my overies hurt and each time i plonk my lardy bum down i can feel them.  I look like crap too !!  I am just about at the stage where i have had enough and want the whole thing over !!  only a week to go i think.  This time next week i should be half way to nottingham for an egg collection if all is well.

Mind you then i have the dreaded anaesthetic to deal with !!!  god help him, i have emla cream to hand !!  but after last episode with anaesthetic and inexperienced nurses at local hospital i have to say that my fear is at an all time high !!! 

How are you all doing ?

xxx


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## charlottesweb (Oct 23, 2006)

Hello ladies

Thanks for your warm words of welcome. I love reading your posts....full of terror but you all sound so feisty and determined. Makes me think that if you can all go through this then so can I!!!!!

ACBICCY: Love the way you count through the bloodtests....you are so brave!!! I went for a lap and dye in Jan this year and had a local anaesthetic (first one in MANY MANY years). It would have been a lot better if the anaesthetist had been nicer - she must be an overworked NHS person but there's no need for "look, I haven't got time for this, so if you don't want to do this??". Fortunately, a lovely nurse took pity on me and held my hand whilst telling me about her holiday.

CG: I'm actually quite excited but I am only going for ET so I'm not expecting too many spikey things! Weird, when I think of my treatment, I think of it it terms of bloodtests and needles. I try *never* to think of the antenatal tests 

Well I have just booked in my next set of bloodtests - next Monday. Agggghhh. I'm taking my mum this time.....and I'm 42  It's really weird, I seem to be ok with normal needles and I've even had a couple of tattoos but I fall to pieces when faced with a bloodtest. I even feel squeemish about my armpits and am always clutching them.

Good luck with all your drug-taking 

Catherine
x


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

disastrous effort today i am afraid - vampires didnt get me !!  had a go but think they have drained me dry and it wasnt flowing for them today - couldnt let them have another go.

The bruise on my arm is worse now and i have to do another one on monday - craig thinks i should switch arms - i almost bashed him - i dont think he understands that now i have found a way to enter the zone then everything has to be identical to suceed - just the smallest littel thing like switching bloody arms will affect my mental state!!!  especially when everyone tells me my right arm is best !!

We are at the point of killing each other now - he is mr angry man and everytime i pick him up on it he blames my hormones - very frustrating - if i wasnt trying for a baby with him i might have buried him in the garden this morning !!! 

hope you are all hanging in there 

xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

well he came back after 4 hours yesterday calm as a cucumber.  Decided that he needed a heart to heart about how stressed he was !!!  wants to be in my situation !!  he hates doing the gonal-f pens, finds them very hard to inject me with and dreads them each day so now starting to take its toll !!  I ask you - give them one simple little task!!! 

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

Glad to hear you haven't buried Craig yet - remember you need the poor chap for those injections you love   To be honest I'm not surprised he dreads coming towards you with a needle - many  a nurse does so he must find it doubly stressful, bless him  

Keep counting them down, can't be that many to go now   

Are you enjoying being a lady of leisure or have you started your new job?  

Catherine - how on earth did you manage to have tattoos? I'm bad enough with blood tests, no way could I have a tattoo....

Take care both,

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

well been to hospital again today for another failed blood test !   not to worry though - I think that was my last one, 22 follies with 3 over 1.8mm so looks like tonight might be the last jab - the big one though HCG !!

then all i have to contend with is the small matter of anaesthetic !!  emla cream to the ready !!!

i am still a lasy of lesiure at the moment - start new job on the 3rd december so had plenty of time to get through the treatment, mind you not sure how the govt expect me to survive with no wage coming in !!!  

anyway - hope you are all well

lots of love always

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Ann - 22 follies - WOW - well done you  

Good luck, will be keeping everything crossed for a bumper crop of eggs and only a few more injections.   

   

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

Egg collection is done - yippeee, was dreadful though.  Sobbed my little heart out, had a bit of a stress attack and was happily hyperventilating and then someone stuck a mask over my face!!  as if i didnt have enough to deal with    Last thing i remember was trying to get the mask off my face !!  Its my fault though because i didnt tell them i dont like gas either - bet they thought i was a right weirdo !!

I have the biggest plaster across my hand you could possibly get !!  poor craig swapped the cotton wool and tape for a clear plaster yesterday - what a dingbat !!  1- it wasnt big enough to cover the huge hole i have in my hand and 2 -A  clear plaster !!  i could see the wound !!!    made him swap if immediately for something more suitable !!  will take me a week to peel it off  

20 eggs were collected and boy do i know it !!  my insides feel like they have been in a car crash - cant believe i went to work after last one !!  I am in so much discomfort its unreal - cant believe i will heading back tomorrow to have something else stuck up there !!!

We will find out in the next few hours if any of them have survived/fertilised.  We have opted for 10 icsi and 10 ivf to see if they could do their thing on their own, but also have the back up of some icsi if they cant.  Its quite nerve racking waiting for that call - i wasnt bothered first time aorund but after having them explode in straws i know they are very precious now and nothing can be taken for granted.  

whilst we were waiting for operation we were discussing how on earth i would cope if i had to do injections after egg transfer - I am lucky and use cyclogest at the moment (well if you can call the lovely white guueey mess lucky ! )  not sure i would be able to cope with continuing injections.  I think i would have to reconsider very carefully !
I really hope this is 3rd time lucky but also know that there is a huge possibility that it might not work, i do know though that i have given it my best shot !!

hope all you lovely ladies are well - will post again once i have results

xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

I have heard from the embryologist

10 icsi eggs - 6 are mature and have fertilised

10 ivf eggs - 7 are mature and fertilised.

we are made up - at least we know now that his little swimmers can do the job without assistance !!  fingers crossed next 24 hours will see them all divide and of good grades.  transfer is 11am tomorrow.

xx


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## charlottesweb (Oct 23, 2006)

Oooooh ACBICCY......it makes it all seem worth it doesn't it. What great results, hope they are all still doing well tomorrow. 

Will be thinking of you at 11am tomorrow.



Catherine
x


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hey everyone

well i am now officially PUPO - yippeee !!  last visit was today so now just sitting back to relax and enjoy !!

of the 13 fertilised eggs they all survived and continued to divide.

We have had 1 grade 1 icsi, ad 1 grade 1-2 ivf embryo popped back in - apparently they dont like to do it but can do a small percentage within the HFEA guidelines - so we have been lucky.  Also got another grade 1-2 icsi and 3 grade 1-2 ivf embryos to freeze.  The rest were 3/4 and below so not freezeable at our clinic.

I am really excited this time - i actually saw them go in, all the other times i never really got the catheter or embryos but they were like huge shining white stars today.

Now safely tucked up in bed and on the 2WW, it feels great knowing its all over for now !!


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Ann,

That's fantastic news honey.   Sending you loads of  .

Glad you got some for the freeze too. This must make all those injections worth while.  

Take it easy over the next few days. Hope those little embies are snuggling in for the winter.

   

CG xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

You've been everso quiet lately I hope all is going ok   

Just wanted to wish you well for test day honey. I will be thinking of you and keeping absolutely everything crossed for a BFP for you.

      

   

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

sad news i am afraid - I was naughty and tested early as no symptoms - both tests were negatives, but last night i got my periods and this morning they are in full swing so guess this cycle is over for me.

Not to worry - cried last night and this morning got up determined to carry on and next go will be in 3 months after 3 cycles required by clinic.  I have 4 frosties so hoping for a better result than last time !!

How are you doing ?

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Ann - I'm so very sorry sweetie. I don't know what to say, I really thought and prayed that this time would be the one for you.    

Have you contacted your clinic to let them know what's happened? You did test very early and some people do bleed when they are pregnant. I really hope this is the case.

Thinking of you and your DH at this very difficult time. Lots of love, CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Everyone

how are you all ??

I am now in full christmas swing, not being pregnant will be utilised for full maximum drinking potential over the next week !!  I am so excited already.  Even at 34 I still get up at the crack of dawn because i am too excited to sleep  

hope you are all well

love always

ann
xx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Anne

Yes I'm looking forward to santa's visit too and not having a few drinks over Christmas this year  

We're well stocked with food, wine & chocolate   and all the presents are wrapped and under the tree (well the ones I've bought). My DH will be packing his (for me  ) tomorrow evening no doubt!

Have a very *merry* Christmas.

         

Love, CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

hope you had a wonderful christmas.  Mine was great, very sad on xmas day that we werent clebrating our 1st christmas with baby, but there is nothing we can do about it so tried not to let it upset me.  We had a little toast for all absent friends & family and then got plastered !! 

I got a wii for christmas and was thrashing out my frustrations on the boxing game - have hardly been able to move for past two days, have found every muscle i own in my arms and back    mind you it seemed a good idea at the time whilst fuelled with magners !!  

I have had fab 5 days so far - hope everyone else has - gearing up to see this crappy year out in style !!!

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

Glad you've had a fab Christmas. Next year will be a fresh start for us all - I've a feeling 2008 will be our year  

The Wii is brilliant isn't it?! I can't believe I'm saying that about a games console! I love 10 pin bowling - probably because it's the one thing I'm ok at   I'm as bad at tennis on the Wii as on the tennis court so it's remarkably realistic   My DH says you should buy Wii Play if you haven't already - you get a set of family type games which includes a really funny racing cow game + an extra control. My nephew loves it and can thrash both of us! 

If your muscles are aching you must have had a good work out - so an added bonus  

We ended up playing guitar heroes III on my brother-in-laws Xbox360 on boxing day - despite my scepticism before I had a go it was brill and very addictive   We might get it for the Wii if it comes down in price. 

We found out our tx had failed over Christmas last year so we too are trying to make the most of it and put the last year behind us. I found it a bit difficult at my brother-in-laws as it was my 9 month old nephew's first Christmas - couldn't help wondering if we'd ever be celebrating Christmas with a little one of our own. Hopefully by next Christmas we and loads of others on here will be preggers or nursing our new borns. Where there's a will there's a way.     

Have a wonderful/drunken new year hun cos  next year you won't be drinking!

Lots of love, CG xxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

how are you ??  happy new year to you - hope you had a good one.

I have had a busy year so far.  Review appointment, consultant suggested i might want to take the tests for clotting and immunity tests.  I opted out of that as it involved a lot of blood.

However, after a few bottles of wine last weekend it kept popping into my mind that it might well be blood clotting as i have always had clotty periods.  I wrote to my GP and asked if i could have tests here and the nurse contacted me on monday to book in.  Did that and then crapped myself all day yesterday, got home and the nurse had left a message on phone that it was cancelled as the tests were scans on day 13 !!   

Didnt sleep last night as i knew they werent and wires must be crossed.  I then had to ring up the unit this morning and ask for a list of the bloods that were needed.  As she read out each one i pooped myself a little more, god knows how i was going to do it.  i felt physically sick and wanted to blah - anyway at work so couldnt, spent the whole day in a total daze and then 5 minutes before i was due to leave work they called me to say they werent standard bloods and they didnt have the correct bottles !!

They have now rescheduled to next monday morning !!  I have positively no idea how i am going to do it.  I have never been able to give more than one vile - now they want a whole vat full !!  might as well be bleedingme dry - I am sure i dont have enough for 6 viles !!

Sounds like i will be needing lots of wine this weekend !!

Hope you are all well 

xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Everyone

well i have had a very traumatic day.  Decided to do the clotting and immune blood tests - nutter that i am !!

Craig also had to have the carrier test done and was with me.  I decided to go first, I knew there would be a lot to give and got myself into a panic before i even sat down !!!  Craig explained my phonia and asked her to use one syringe and distribute between viles, but guess what - she didnt !!  

She started to play touchy feely with my veins and i wanted to kill her - stress levels were elevating and she told me veins were collapsing - so i temporarily managed to destress by fanatising over the bacon roll i had eaten - daft i know but it worked !!  she got needle in and i was ok until the snap off of the first vile - then panic started to set it, i got agitated and mega angry - had craigs hand and was visualising breaking every little pinky on it !!

I started to cry and scream and cry and scream getting louder and louder and by vile 5 i had enough and asked them to stop - but she didnt and just kept going - I started to kick my legs and scream even louder - by now having major panic attack but they both decided to keep going !!  was so angry - nearly snapped, both lucky that i didnt punch their lights out.  Took me ages to settle down, had panic attac, sobbed my heart out and probably made a complete isiot of myself but who cares !!!

I dont even feel a sense of achievement - I feel so angry that when i wanted then to stop they continued.  The nurse thought that while i kept the arm still it ws sagfe to get it and she wanted to make sure i didnt have to do it again.  Criag thought he would encourage her to finish so it was done and dusted, me i just feel violated - I wanted to stop, I had enough, hurt like hell.  I havent been able to speak to him - in fact i might just spit in his tea later  

I have never felt so tramatised in all my life - my arm hurts like hell and i feel very sorry for myself!!  but on the brightside they might reveal some reason why the embryos arent sticking 

hope everyone else is well

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann and a belated Happy New Year to you too!! 

Sorry to hear about your recent traumatic experience. At least you've got those awful tests out of the way and will know one way or the other if there's more they can do to help you next time you have treatment.   

When are they going to have the results for you? It's truly a horrible feeling when they take those old viles off and put another one onto fill up   but it was probably for the best that they ignored you and carried on - you'd have hated yourself the next day if you'd been through all of that only to find they didn't have enough blood to run the tests! Hope you're drinking lots of red wine to get those old red blood cells back to normal  

How's the new job going?

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

good to hear from you.  Test results will take anywhere between 4-6 weeks so ages to wait.

Job is going well, only trouble is that i have been told i must go to belgium in april to meet the CEO and other IT chaps from the group.  It is going to fall smack bang during treatment, which means i will have to postpone probably - I am gutted.  It all now rests on wether i get my period on time on monday and wether they choose the 3/4th or 10/11th april.  If they choose 10/11th transfer should be the week before so i might get away with it but will need to see if i am allowed to fly.

I have a huge bruise where they took the blood and it hurts when i bend my arm !  hope its worth it !!  mind you i should have told her to write on the labels - "Use sparingly - you wont get no more !"  

I drank a large amount of stella artois last night and have evil headache and hangover from hell today !!  weight loss for the week out of window again !!

how are you ??

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi there, 

Do you know when you're starting tx next? Hope you don't have to delay because of your work trip. A trip to Belgium would be good tho - it's not as boring as they say   Afterall they do fantastic chocolate, beer and mussels and chips   Fancy heading over there myself now... 

How's the camper van going? Been off anywhere fun lately? 

Well I've started downregging - so I'm back on the injections again  I still can't look when DH does them and get very nervous when he starts preparing them!! Thought the nerves would be better now that I'm an old timer at it but not so far. DH has applied for a job that would mean 40-50% travel so not sure what we'll do if we need another shot at tx. Wish I knew my neighbour better   I know I won't be able to bring myself to inject myself without passing out!

Enjoying a nice glass of red wine to mark the end of a busy week.

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Cg

start first jab of buserelin on march 8th so not far behind you.  My belgium trip is going to be the 10/11th april - so we will hopefully transfer on the 7th and then i will be off just after - will be flying by seat of pants though - doesnt give me any allowance for overunning on the treatment does it !!

Camper van is earning its money at the moment - our heating and hot water system broke at the weekend so i am having to shower in the motorhome every morning - neighbours will be doing me for indecent exposure soon !!

When are you expected to have transfer ? is it a long or short protocol ??

There is no way in the world i would ever be brave enough to jab myself !!  I dont think anybody else apart from craig could either - think i would scare them too much  

I am dreading next blood test - the last nurse didnt listen to my screams and took 10 viles - the bruising has only just gone almost 3 weeks later !!  cow 

lets hope this tx is the last one we both need !!  I am not sure my poor old body can handle much more are you ??  weight gain has been horrific and i just cant seem to shift it no matter how hard i try.

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

All being well transfer will be w/c 31 March - probably April 1st knowing my luck!! In some ways I wouldn't mind it too much as it's my DH's birthday on the 1st - perhaps it's fate!  

Gosh you will be cutting it fine. ^fingesrcrossed^ you have your transfer on the 7th so have time to put your feet off before jetting off to Belgium. On the positive side your trip will take your mind off the 2ww.  Mind you it does mean you can't indulge in the Belgian beers - bummer! You'll just have to stick to the chocolate  

Tell me about the weight - I really can't find the incentive to try and shift it. Foods my indulgence and I turn to it when I'm down or stressed so IVF and weight loss really don't go hand in hand. Must admit I'm starting to wonder if I've got the emotional resilience for any more after this cycle. Each BFN has taken it out of me and the latest ones have been really difficult to get over - in fact I don't think I have really - have felt really down for the past few weeks and it's not a pleasant place to be. At some stage soon I think I'm going to have to call it a day - I just don't have the strength to keep bouncing back not knowing if it will ever work.  

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

HI CG

I will be right on your tail then - mine is all planned for tranfser on 7th if all goes to plan, 1st jab is saturday - have just been to pick up my needles and sign consent forms !!! 

scared now !!

You musnt feel down honey, craig was like that at the weekend, he wanted me to call this one quits - but i pointed out that my first cycle buddy didnt give up and got twins on her fifth attempt !!  

It is stressful though, drugs make you feel crap, then spending all that money and nothing to show for it makes you feel quite gutted too doesnt it.  It cost us about 10k for the last go as i had three months off work to give it the best chance - what a muppet, didnt work !!

anything i can do to help lift spirits ??  just imagine how daft i look every morning trekking across the drive in my dressing gown for a shower in the motorhome - came back with my sock on today, had cold feet - must have looked right daft - dressing gown to knees and socks pulled up !!!  

On saturday i got myself undressed, hopped in, and switched on only to find i had forgotten to switch on water heater - very chilly !!

sending all my love to you 


xxxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

well 1 down 26 to go !!  I actually didnt feel a thing, our hospital give us 26G needles but my local doctors surgery didnt have any of those so they gave me 25G - craig reckons they are bigger but i didnt feel a thing so was a very good jab !!

we are doing them at night so i dont have to wake him in the mornings - I couldnt see the point of the added stress of sleep deprevation for him.  Mind you i am pretty sure that morning is best time - but never mind.  last 3 have been mornings and not preggars so will see !!

How are you feeling ??

love always 

ann

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann,

Glad you've got your first jab done! It's such a relief when they don't hurt isn't it?! For some reason they hurt me on one side of my tummy but not the other. I'm already 10 days into my injections so the bruises are starting to form - need to dig out my arnica cream   Must be a sucker for punishment as I had acupuncture too yesterday so even more needles to contend with!!

Thanks for the image of you in your socks trekking back and forth to the shower - it made me smile   Certainly never a dull moment in your household! Has your shower been fixed now or are you still making an early morning dash across the drive? 

I'm trying to stay positive or at least neutral about this treatment but it is hard. Like you say feel crap on the drugs and about all the money we've spent with nothing to show for it....all of which seems so much harder when you can't see the end in sight. Had a good heart to heart with DH the other night and he's said we'll move to adoption if this or the next cycle doesn't work. So at least we have a backup plan...

Anyway off for some retail therapy shortly with a friend  

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

yes i am still trekking across drive.  The plumbers havent even been round yet !!  still dont know what boiler to get or anything !!  We have bought some oil filled radiators etc and keeping warm that way but hot water still only available in the shower block on the drive  

This is my 4th attempt.  Craig wasnt too happy - he feels like something always goes wrong just before treatment and that its fate and telling us not to do it.  Last time i lost my job !!  this time we have no heating or hot water.  I have now been forced to remortage and consolidate all debts.  Then yesterday we got the bill for embryo freezing last november !!  and car tax - so always something.

He thought we should perhaps quit after this one - but my first cycle buddy dint quit and on her 5th go got twins - so if she had thrown in the towel at 4 she would never have succeeded.  I know you have to draw the line though - I think i will go as many times as i can this year but call it quits at the end - could be a potential 7 trys - then i think i will give up.  Body doesnt handle the drugs well and getting bigger each time then unable to shift weight ( mind you - I dare say the consolidatory wine testing doesnt help ! )

anyway - have fun shopping - I am studying at the moment so online doing my essay !!

llotsa love

ann

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann, I see your 5 jabs down now (woohoo) Not many more to go!

Had my down reg blood test today so hoping my hormoes have dropped enough! I feel rubbish so would be very surprised if they haven't!
As usual the nurse had trouble finding a vein but we got there in the end    Another reason I don't want to have to down reg for another week. 

Sorry to hear you've got problems with your boiler. Hopefully the plumber will be able to fix it rather than replace it. We had a new one installed in January so know you could do without this sort of bill at the same time as tx. 

 your luck changes real soon.

Love CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

no hope on the boiler i am afraid, we always knew when something went wrong it would be condemned.  It no longer complies with british safety. !!

Have bought some oil filled electric radiators and a gas one - so sort of keeping warm, trekking across to motorhome for showers - was a bit hairy in the gales the other morning !!!

I have been poorly this week with flu and so jabs feel even worse.  6th day today, almost a week done !! woop woop.  also got bill for £350 embryo storage from november and car tax due - but we have just started a remortgage to get this all seen too at once.

Such a crappy time isnt it.  makes it worse knowing it might all be for nothing as well.  mind you i feel very hormonal already, almost cried at work yesterday because 2 people were arguing !!

I am suffering with insmonia as well - not sure if its drugs or cold.

xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Sorry you're feeling rough sweetie. The good news is that the  prob mean you've down-regged! Hang on in there it'll get better when you start stimming.

Lots of love, CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

How are you ?? are you getting on ok with drugs ??

I am feeling really pants again this time.  Mind you i am taking it that its a good sign, I felt crap the first time round and suffered with insomnia.

I saw a stork yesterday, first one ever that wasnt in a zoo - so i am taking that as a good sign !!  

I have first scan on 25th and then should start taking progynova - its FET this time, hoping my frosties survive at a better rate than last attempt !!

I managed to submit my college assignment yesterday so that was good, how about you - done anything nice ??

xxxxxxxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi,

Just lost a long post to you - computers eh  So as I was saying ....

Wow really good news that you saw a stork - that must be a good sign  I hope Craig spotted it too - I expect he's been looking for you! 

I've been feeling rough too - had some really bad headaches and felt really bad on day of blood test (really achy neck and generally exhausted). I had the day off work thankfully so did very little for the day which helped. I've felt a little better since then though apart from if I watch anything remotely sad - I keep bursting into tears, very embarrassing  

Had some retail therapy and enjoyed seeing Wales win the rugby so not a bad weekend really thanks - despite all the  .

It must be a relief to have got your college assignment off - have you got many more to do?

CG xxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)




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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi there deb, thanks for all the fairy dust

Hi CG, i too am struggling now, drugs kicked in and suffering with severe headaches - its also quite strange as having to keep from work colleagues whereas at my last place every knew and i could slope off for quiet minute.

Its getting so that i want to cry every night before he injects me - just hormones, its always about now that i start to dread them.  Got periods today as well so that hasnt helped.

Serious constipation, piles, sore neck, headaches, period pains all sounds familiar - oh woe is us that would be women  

chin up though hey - only 2 1/2 more weeks to go and it will all be over and i will be moaning about 2ww !!

are your dates going to plan ??

xxxxxxxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Debs - thanks for the fairy dust and good luck with your tx   Lets hope it's BFPs all round 

Emps - hope you're feeling a little better today. It's great being a female isn't it   Funnily enough I've been really achy this time - with me it's my shoulder and lower back. The prognova seems to have stopped the headaches but my shoulder is really sore instead   Just think we've got the joys of cyclogest to look forward to too - we must be    Yes roll on the 2ww! So far everything going to plan this end so I'll be a week/few days ahead of you. Are you still off to Belgium?

Well we've had a sprinking of snow here this morning and the wind is howling down the chimney. I might just have to stay in and eat Easter eggs  

Happy Easter everyone, Love CG xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Sorry to stick me nose in but how long did it take for side effects to kick in? I've had my 4th buserelin jab today. had a few headaches. 1 really bad one, get lot of headaches anyways though. also had palpitations and twitchy legs. just wonderin if these r possibly side effects or coincidence. I was terrified my first jab, was shakin but managed to get through it. was no way as bad as I thought it would be. They aint pleasant but nothin to get ya knickers in a twist about


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Morning Cg

I too have stiff shoulder, it starts at my neck on the left hand side, i think i have slept wrong, been like it for 2 days now.

I have first scan and bloods on tuesday then should start progynova if all well.  I am skinning this cycle by seat of pants !!  Belgium trip will be leaving on 9th (going by train) so not leaving myself any chance for overrun.

weather wasnt too bad this morning but coming over dark now.  I think i will have lazy day too, going in to work tomorrow though and then have family over on sunday for dinner.

love to all and happy easter

xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Morning deb

yes that about how long it takes for my side effects, bad heads, irratability etc.  I have done it 4 times now and always about 4th/5th day.

I still hate the jabs even after 4 goes !!  I am now at the stage where i dread him coming near me with that little sting machine !!  I dont think i will ever get used to them.  First one is always nightmare, then i am ok for a few days but as i start to feel crappier and crappier i dread them even more !

God help the blood nurse on tuesday !!!  

You need to make sure you drink at least 2 ltrs of fluid a day - that will help with the headaches, not tea or coffee but squash or water.

if you do feel really bad though - just check with your unit, these drugs can have some bad side effects, best not to take any risks !!

xxxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi Biccy   what about decaf? Is that ok, does that count? Find it hard to drink a lot as I'm only little and 1cup of decaf coffee at breakfast has me runnin to th loo 4 or 5 times in a row. Thanks for the advice, i'll do me best to drink some more. Anything else ya know many help? through the whole thing? I've heard about milk bein good? Is that right? tried to up my calcium intake but just can't bring myself to drink milk. You must be really brave to be able to go through this so many times


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Deb

I know its hard to drink- I never used to drink a thing - if i dont have the 2ltrs i get steaming headaches and terrible constipation - if you go for full ivf my unit expects you to drink 3-4 ltrs, i too go to the loo a lot, now i have trained myself to fill up squash bottles at the start of the day and then sip them through 12 hours still wee a lot but all in a good cause !!

not sure how we have made it through but grit and determination is something i am good at !!

what sort of treatment are you having ?  full ivf ??

xx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Reckon ya must need that determination! Its a good idea to fill up ya bottles, ya know ya had ya quota of water then eh.My clinic didn't even tell me I needed to drink more water. I've found out more from this site than the clinic. I'm having icsi. I started my DR 4 days ago. Got my first scan 2nd april, suppose i'll start my stims then, I hope!


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Debster - it is really hard to drink as much water as they say you need to but it really does help if you can drink 2 litres - just make sure you're near a loo   

Milk and protein are supposed to be really beneficial too for getting a good crop of quality eggs. So try and boost your intake of these over the coming weeks. Like you I wasn't that keen on milk but found I got to like it during IVF - probably because it was a change from water!! Brazil nuts are supposed to be good too so if you like nuts you've got an excuse to be tucking into them for the next few weeks!

I usually downreg with burselin injections and always get headaches from about 4 or 5 days. I haven't had the other symptoms though so you might want to mention these to the clinic or up your water intake a bit and see if that helps.    The good news is that even though the headaches are bad they don't last forever and once your AF arrives they'll start to disappear. 

Ann - my shoulder feels worse in the morning like I've slept awkward and it's the left one - weird eh that we've both got the same thing this time around, I don't remember having it in previous cycles. Anyway enough moaning from me. It'll all be worth it in the end.  everthing goes to plan for you hun. Do you need a little AF dance? If so let me know.

DH and I've just been out for a wander to blow the cobwebs away between the showers. 

Love, CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

how you feeling ??

I feel like crap, i hope that tomorrow i can start progynova.  I have scan at 7.30am and bloods (oh god!!) so we have a 5am start.  Hoping that it wont be cold  .

The snow is killing me - we havent had heating or hot water for 4 weeks now and looks like another 4-6 weeks for all the building works to get started - am gutted and so cold !!

we are using superser gas heater and oil filled radiators but they just not cutting it - still freezing !!  We have been chuckling about how namby pamby we all are now though.  In childhood we didnt have central heating did we!!  There was always frost on the inside of my windows as the council house had tin strips down windows and they didnt exactly seal well did they !!  We used to get dressed under the covers before getting out of bed and argue over who was fetching coal in from bunker outside !!

We were also laughing about bathtime too - after having bath you would leg it through the house to stand in front of the fire where steam would pour off you as mum towel dried you really vigorously.  Then she would rip most of my hair out whilst drying it !!  very funny now though, mind you when we argued wasnt good - naked after bath, used to have sone rotten red hand marks!!!  never learnt either - my little brother always started a fight and i always got a slap !!    those were teh days  

hope you all having good easter.  I have been eating chocolate this morning at about 7ish - and i dont even like chocolate - comfort eating gone mad i tell you !!  

xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi all

had a nightmare today, when they were trying for blood i pulled my arm away - WHILE THE NEEDLE WAS IN IT !!  I have never done that before - normally i throw the rest of my body about but not the arm in question!!  

worst thing was is that i had to offer the arm again - no question - had to give blood today !!! did it in the end but been in bed for rest of day !! 

Mind you they called to say their machine was broken and they wouldnt have results until tomorrow which has peeved me off a little as i am on a tight schedule and cant accomodate too many delays ebcause of this belgium trip.  I am gutted, but where there is a will there is a way hey !!

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann - that could only happen to you   Hope you've recovered from the stress of it all today and they get back to you early tomorrow to say you're still on track. 

If you're feeling crap it's prob a good sign so hang on in there! 

I've still got a really sore shoulder - thought it had gone but it woke me with a start this morning when I tried to lie on it   Hoping it will shift soon as it's really painful. Starting to think it could be a cold as I've felt really flu'y too and now have a sore throat to go with it.   

 that you've downregged.

Debster - hope you're doing ok and the hedaches have eased.

CG xxxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi every1  

CG - still gettin the headaches but ta for askin, been told by few ppl on ere not to take anythin but i,ve needed to take paracetamol and ibuprofen. Hows the shoulder?

Does any1 know what the ice cream cone shaped thing with a plunger in, that arrives with ya meds is for? I'm kinda hopin its not a pessary applicator   No one else seems to have 1!

Been jabbin for 9 days now. knocks ya around a bit, Least i'm 9 days closer


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

disaster has now officially struck.  Hospital dont want me to start progynova until tomorrow and then next appointment has been postponed until monday - god i am annoyed !!

I dont know where we go from here - I am off to belgium on the 9th now and that would be ET date - so there is no way i can do that.  I will have to contact hospital tomorrow to see what other options are available - see if i can transfer on return perhaps but then that leaves me with huge problem of buserelin injections - never gonna be able to do them myself - might have to get a spray for a ocuple of days.

I tell you i am really beginning to think some higher power is telling me not to do it !!!

hope you are all well

xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Biccy sorry things aint goin too good at the moment. I hope ya can sort something out with the hospital


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Ann,

Sorry things aren't going well at the moment hun. Really hope the hospital can sort things out for you.      Don't suppose Craig can go to Belgium with you? If not there must be a way of keeping things ticking over without the need for injections. 

Debster,

Sorry no idea what the plunger like device is - I've never had one of those thankfully  Have you asked your clinic? 

CG xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Not asked the clinic yet, I'm kinda hopin if I ignore it it'll go away   I'll ring em this week and ask. Hopefully its in there by mistake!


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi girls.

Just wanted to wish you well for Monday Ann, I hope the clinic can do sometihng to get your dates back on track or to delay things so you can get back in time for tx.    

Debs - any news on that plunger yet?   

I've got my date for ET confirmed as 1 April   

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

wow its all go now - 1st april hey !!  will be thinking about you - mine will now be the 12th hopefully 

will you be having 2 transferred ??

xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

CG   not yet. I'm off for my first scan on weds   I'm gonna take it with me then
 for ET


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi girls,

Well I'm back with feet up and 2 embies onboard  

ET quite painful this time due to fibroids   Could have decked the nurse at one point but thought better off it just   

Anyway the 2ww madness begins. 

Good luck with your scan on Wednesday Debster. Ann hope you're ok and got a plan for when you're away.

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

HI CG

wonderful news - will be sending all the positive vibes in the world for a good snuggle in.

my dates could work ok but wont know until tuesday.  have appt and then off to belgium on wednesday - so hoping they will give me a saturday transfer and no jabs will be needed while away.

had to go to work after mondays appt, so was up at 5am - 4hr round trip to give blood then into work until midnight for stock take - only got 2 hrs sleep as then suffered insomnia - was dead beat yesterday.  not feeling much better today but on hols tomorrow so will battle through

xx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi evry1  

CG     with 2ww     

I'm officially down regulated   start my puregon tonight. Scan hurt on 1 side and nearly passed out after. think thats down to the side effects of DR but that should clear up now   so excited now its all moving on  

They didn't know what the plunger isfor! Think it might be for the pessaries but who cares cuz I don't need to use it


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi girls, hope you're both well. 

Debster - well done on downregging.     How are the stimming injections going? Well I hope. 

Ann - hope all on track with you for transfer 1 week today ^fingercrossed^ and that you've had a few long lie-ins. How's the central heating? Hope it's been fixed or about to be   

We came back yesterday from a couple of nights in Bournemouth. Really lucky with the weather so had long walks along the beach, had a ride on the carousel (well I did  ), and saw loads of ponies and donkeys in the New Forest. Came back via the zoo as we had some complementary tickets to use - so very at one with nature for a change   

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

HI all

sounds wonderful CG.  

We have been on hols but to be honest i am so tired i cant be bothered to do anything except laze around !!  God knows how i will cope next week in belgium where i will have to go out in the evening.

Bathroom has been ordered, plumbers called and now just waiting game to get plumber, builder and electrician all available at convenient times !!

Tuesday is next appt so hoping last jab will be tues/weds morn and transfer saturday - fingers crossed !!  have now had enough and want to stop moaning but finding it a physical impossibility !!  God it will be a long 9 months !!

I am having trouble with piles really bad - I did on first attempt as well.  It isnt because i dont eat enough fibre as i am veggie/fruit lover - and i am now drinking 4 ltrs of water too so isnt that - i think its just drugs - but so painful to go to loo making me feel even crappier !!

sorry for moan 

xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi CG, stimmin is goin ok except for bloating and wind, is that a usual side effect? How's you?


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Debster

yes i get wind (more than usual!) when stimming too    

Glad you getting on ok - nearly to the end !!

xx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

great news !!  last jab has been done, last blood and scan too !!  Just had call from hospital and transfer will be on saturday !!

love to you all

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

We're such a lovely group aren't we - windy with piles!!!!

Well to be honest I only get the wind with the pessaries but boy is it bad from about 4 days in for a few days. I want to be downwind of myself   If I'm with DH I can sort of get away with it as most people hopefully think it's him! Not so easy in work though (he he) which reinforces the need to take a few days off after transfer  

Debster - I do feel bloated during tx and am sure my tummy looks a lot larger. Make sure you drink plenty of water to flush any excess hormones out of your system. How many more days of stimming have you got? I'm on a donor cycle so didn't need to stim at all this cycle.

Ann - I hope Belgium isn't too tiring. It might be a welcome distraction. Fantastic news that your transfer will be Saturday. Not long now. I'll be keeping everything crossed for you.  

I've been having spotting since 4 days post transfer and AF pains so hoping this is a good sign but scared it's not too!! I haven't had this before but have been having more spotting than I'd have thought you'd get if it's due to implantation. Any advice anyone?

Worried of Gloucestershire...

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi All

Belgium was ok - very tiring though - got in at 12pm on friday and up for 5am on saturday for transfer.

Of the four frosties we had only 2 survived 

1 was an icsi embryo and had three cells, was graded at a 2, the second was an ivf with 4 cells and grade 1.  So now have 2 on board and feeling quite happy and pleased with myself that we managed to get it all done.

It was hard being away and no bevvies at free bar !!

CG -hoping spots are for implantation - each time i spotted one day and then period came next so if its been going on for a while lets treat it as good sign !!

Not long before you test is it - hoping for number 1 pregnancy, then followed up with a few more !!

love to you all

a very excited ann !!

xxxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann, 

You must very very relieved, tired and happy!!! Congratulations on getting 2 good embies on board. Make sure you have a good rest over the next few days. Will have my  and toes crossed for us both  

I'm still spotting and have had some cramping too on and off since Tuesday - I woke this morning at 5am with really bad period and cramping pain. Just hope it's all a good sign.   

Lots of love, 

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

I am getting excited !!  all this spotting - those little ones really settling in i hope !! when is test date ??
xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

15 April   CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Tomorrow !!  oh my god how time has flown !!

will be thinking of you honey and eagerly awaiting result.

Loadsa love

ann

xxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

CG good luck for tomorrow


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Afraid it's another negative result for me.    Not sure where we go from here as so sure that this might just have worked.

I'll probably be taking some time out from the boards as don't think I can cope with it all at the moment - it's hit us hard   

Good luck Ann & Debster I'll be thinking of you and willing you both on. Hopefully back when I feel stronger. 

Lots of love, CG xxxxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Aww   CG sorry to hear that


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

CG I am truly gutted for you - I too was convinced that it was a good time and all was well in our needlephobic gang.

Take as long as you need honey - but remember we are here for you if you need to let off steam and scream about it.

        all the love n hugs in the world are being sent your way honey xx

Good luck for egg collection debster - will be thinking of you

x


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Just popped in to wish you both well.     for some nice strong positives for you. 

    

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Thanks CG

I am having rotten time of 2ww, I do feel very pregnant, nauseous all of the time, tummy twinges, sea sick feeling, tired but cant sleep, square poops, foul temper, miserable feeling etc etc etc

I know it could just be the drugs and thats the worst bit isnt it - knowing that despite all of these feelings that lift your hopes up - next week it could all be over again.  I am trying not to let it get to me but its very hard isnt it.  

We have already spent a fortune on it and its a worry knowing that you are getting further into debt chasing a dream - but at the same time you cant help it can you.  One of my oldest FF friends had twins on her 5th go, one of my family friends her 7th - when do you actually decide enough is enough ??  Our family friend has had to go to work because they remortgaged to the hilt.

We have always decided that craig would be stay at home dad and i would work, 2 reasons really, 1st is i earn more and 2nd - i love work, I am one of those annoying people who is always happy (except for treatment times ) and actually look forward to working each day.  

I have these huge dreams in my head of getting home from work and watching craig doing tea while the kids are doing homework, loads of lovely banter between them, then sitting down to tea together as a family just as it should be, discussing the day. Maybe they are dreams, maybe they will come true, maybe they wont who is to say.  What worries me is that if it takes too many more attempts we too will be in the same position where we will both have to work as my wage wont cover the debt we have.  Our government really sucks doesnt it !!  We can bring non uk citizens in to britain, house them, clothe them, educate them, treat them, provide full nhs and yet here i am both taxpayers for 17-20 years, no children - claimed no benefits, even operation was bupa and they wont help you.  My local PCT told me they would rather spend their funds on cancer patients !!

Sorry for rant - hormonal i guess   - just test date is week away and now its starting to annoy me that we will need to find approx 6k for another go if needed - piff paff puff hey - thats how paul daniels would do it !!!  magic from thin air !!

anyway - hope you are all well - apart from the bleeding ears now  

love to all

ann

xxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Thanks CG  

Ann I'm strugglin with 2ww and its only been a day!   6k to have another go? Didn't realize it was so much! We've been saving up to buy our own home, gotta big deposit to put down, just waiting for the house prices to fall a bit more. if we need another go and its 6k or more depending on how many go's we need we'll have to choose between a home and a baby - which we may not get anyway! Its enough to drive ya   I'm just   it works this time


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Deb

yes its disgusting isnt it.  Do you have any frosties ??  I had frozen cycle this time and was only 1500.  but for a full cycle its about 3500 for hospital, another 2000 for drugs and then about 500 in travelling as our hospital is a 2-3hr drive for us.

I will try a new unit closer to home though if this doesnt work i think.

I am going mad now too - I really have felt pregnant for last few days but today it doesnt feel as strong.  There really is no way of knowing if its the drugs or a real pregnancy - only 1 more week to torture myslef  

xx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

I had 6 fertilize but apparently only 2 were good enough so they said none could be frozen. Ya sorta have 2 chances when ya get some frozen ones, as it stands we only have this chance. Not sure if I wanna pay out all that money on a 'maybe' but If I was definitely gonna get pregnant I'd give every penny. Reckon I'd only give it one more shot but I'm hoping I don't have to. We only have the 1 clinic down ere that does it so if I went anywhere else I'b be like u having to travel for few hours.

 for your test date. I know how ya feel bout the symptoms, at the moment I know the progesterone is causing some side effects but when it gets to next week I'll be analyzing every sign. Wishful thinking but then maybe not. Enough to drive ya nuts!


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi All

debs - I know what you mean.  Last year was terrible for us, 2500 for a frozen cycle mid year and 6500 for full cycle later in the year.  My company went bust and so we spent all that money, nothing to show for it and was unemployed while we went through it as hospital treatment was a drive away so couldnt start anything - so i also had 2 months with no income.

The money side of thsi is really crap - I would say that with all the travelling, 4 attempts, lost wages etc we have spent about 15000.  (all added to the mortgage now !!)  and we dont have a thing to show for that which is terrible.

If this one doenst work i will do one more full cycle and then whatever frozen remain and then call it quits, so a possible 2 more attempts and then no more.  then i have the rest of my working life to pay it off !!

I have no idea what the result will be this time.  I have insomnia which i had with 1st pregnancy, but sickness and sore boobs has gone - so 50/50 i reckon.  Will probably test on friday for an early sneaky peek !! 

xxxxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi Ann. 15k! we've got bout 20k, half of that we've saved ourselves and 10k was a gift from my dad to get on the property ladder, don't think he'd be best pleased if I spent it! especially with nothing to show. Seems like you've had a bit of a hard time of it what with ya company and not being able to work. Seems a bit unfair that someone with a medical problem thats no fault of their own, who's worked and contributed has to pay for treatment that they've probably already paid for in tax! 

Good luck for testing. I have to wait til 16dpt, I don't think I'll make it. I'm only 4dpt, been feeling terrible on the progesterone. Was really sick last night. I'm gettin bad tummy aches too, af-type  and digestion type, my boobs are really sore but I get that every month anyway. My temp is dropping, don't know if that means anything when ya on treatment. The things us girls have to go through eh


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

I have been a naughty girl and done and early test !!!

its a positive, only a feint line - but never the less a good positive line !!!

Real test date is monday - but couldnt wait after getting morning sickness today - couldnt get off the floor - took me 30 mins to pull myself together.  I was so worried that something was wrong had to test (well thats my excuse!)

Mind you also got bad news today - my great aunt has lung cancer and not long to live so that is a real downer.

Nothing is ever easy is it !

xx


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## cleg (Jun 27, 2006)

ACBICCY will be thinking of you come test date + hope that line gets darler + darker   big  's for the news about your greta aunt   bitter sweet but your news looks/is fab  

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Ann - sorry about your aunt but fantastic news about your positive result     it gets stronger and stronger by Monday. It'll be so worth being hock if this one works. Good luck hun.

      

Good luck to you too Debster.     

Love,

CG xxxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi all

its a sefinate pregnancy, getting worse and worse by the minute.  I dont handle it too well i am afraid.  Get very dizzy, feint and sick - feel like my body is being taken over by aliens !!

off to motorhome show today - hoping that will take my mind off things for a while !!  mind you will prabably be depressed that i cnt afford a new one !!  

have a good weekend 


xxxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

I see congratulations are in order - well done Ann   

          

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi everyone

sorry for lack of posts - have had a disaster!

I felt very strange yesterday -like i had th eshakes all day, couldnt put my finger on what was wrong, then at 6.30pm i felt all wet, went to the loo and i had bled all through my knickers and jeans.  Then i pulled out a very large blood clot - then i sobbed my heart out  

I havent bled anymore today yet - but it was a flood of bright red blood with the one large clot so i am pretty sure it was the start of a miscarriage.  I havent felt sick or bad today at all - and right up until yesterday sickness and sore boobs were increasing day by day.

My 7 wk scan is due on 16th may but i dont think we will be getting that far.  I am devastated, i am clinging to the hope that it isnt over because i havent bled today - but also know that the feeling i have are period pains and that the onslaught is only days away !

I am off to cornwall in the morning too - 5 1/2 hours in a car with my boss and 2 other chaps that i work with - great fun !

I am pleased that it happend while craig and i were together though - we had a cry last night and talked things over - at lesat i was with him and not in cornwall with work colleagues - so now if it happens i have sort of dealt with it.

Life is just so unfair isnt it !!

I am hoping that it is just a warning sign to take it more easy - but in my heart i dont believe that.

Sorry for rant

xxxxxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Biccy Soz to hear whats happened. I hope that its not the end for u       

I got bfn yesterday and this old b*tch   showed up good and proper today   So I guess thats it for me and my husband


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## suzyboo (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann

I chatted to you a long time ago, but I keep a check on your posts to see how you're doing (not stalker like I promise!).  I am so so sorry to hear your latest news though.  I had felt so happy for you before.  I really hope that this isn't the end for you, I have everything crossed for you.    

Thinking of you

Suzie xx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi all

wonderful news - 1 bub still on board !!

happy heartbeat and perfect size for 6wk + 1 - I am over the moon.

Mind you i am also aware that it is very early days and as i still have some blood and definate period pains i am just clinging on for dear life right now !!  I was thrilled to see the sac and heartbeat though - was totally convinced that all was lost especially as symptoms have gone compared to last week!

1 possibility is that both implanted and i lost one at weekend - but i guess we will never know.

Thankyou for support all - guess i am still in the running for now !!

love

ann

xx


----------



## suzyboo (Nov 16, 2006)

Thats fantastic news Ann, just take things as easy as you can and hold on in there.  

Good luck, I'm thinking of you

Suzie xx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Ann,

So very pleased all is still well - I feared the worst when I read your earlier post. Take it easy hunni.

Sending you and your bubba lots of     and    


Debster - so sorry hunni to see you've had bad news     Take care   

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Had scan last friday, bubs was 7wk and 1 day.  My heart sank as soon as he popped on screen as i didnt see a thumping heart - just so convinced i am going to have a missed miscarriage again - worry is killing me !!

Heartbeat was there though and was a a right little thumper - baby has played me up all weekend with sickness so thats a good sign.  This week is where i lost the first one though and so now questioning every little feeling to see if its stronger or weaker than yesterday !!  will be in a straight jacket by 12 wk scan !!

hope everyone else is doing ok.

any next attempts ?

xxx


----------



## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi,

I can't imagine how difficult it is must be when you've been through a miscarriage in the past, but god willing this little one is going to stay the distance and make all the struggles worthwhile    

I know it's easy for me to say but try and take each day at a time and try not to read too much into each twinge. Here's to you feeling as sick as a dog if that will help reassure you that all's well  It's hard to believe you're already 7 weeks!!  that the next 30 weeks go as quickly with no more scares.

Not sure where we go next - will probably decide after the review appt in June. It'll either be another donor cycle or adoption depending what the consultant says about the fibroids!!

Take care and keep us up to dat on how you're getting on.

Love, 

CG xxxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

CG, I hope it works out for u whatever u decide to do, I really do  

I don't think we're gonna have another go cuz in my experience ivf don't work. We've found a house we like and we gotta put down a big deposit. So we gotta make a choice. Besides we was supposed to be having icsi cuz my husbands count was crap. But after EC they said it was normal so reckon there's no reason it can't  happen naturally now     

 every1


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Debster - good luck trying au natural - at least trying will be more fun than with IVF   

Ann - I see from your ticker that you're 14 weeks gone already.   I hope all's well and with every week that passes you're able to enjoy your pregnancy. 

Lots of love, CG xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Cg

good to hear from you.  how are you doing ??

yes 14wks gone and it feels like 114 !!!  I am not a very good pregnant person, throw myself around the room in a "dont know what i want to do with myself tizzy" most of the time.  IVF was  a breeze compared to pregnancy and i never thought i would say that !!

i am hoping that sickness, tiredness and generally unwell feeling will subside before i go insane but its not looking hopeful !!

love to you all

xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi all

have had a terrible weekend.  I started to bleed, baby was 21wks and 2 days.

got to hospital, they wanted bloods and a canula fitted.  I am afraid i was a total wimp and said no to both - couldnt see why they needed either, not until they told me what was wrong.  Sadly they are unable to give a definate cause but i have a low laying placenta which may be the issue.

I gave into the bloods and was a real brave girl, but under no circumstances was i having the canula - especially as it was just precautionary.  Obviously if babys life depended on it then i would have done it - but it was because there was a risk that i may start to bleed heavily and need a transfusion, once heavy bleeding had started they may find it hard to insert - i am afraid that is all way too much information for me - and i have to say that i am so thankful i didnt need one !!

Mind you - i have been discharged home to bed rest and to take it easy for the week - i have to have another scan in 6wks to see what is happening.

I have been reading up on it and it could only happen to me   seems i may need a caesarian if it doesnt move, would you believe that - needle and vein phobia going to be tested right to the end hey !!  there will be no getting away from a canula then !!

hope you are all well

xx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi All

I have had disastrous 2 days !!

Went for scan and baby is fine, still big boy measuring 29wks even though he was only 28 !!  placenta is moving so hopefully by due date it will not be a problem.

Then they asked me how i was feeling and if all was well.  I mentioned about the pain and little dizzy spell i had and then all hell broke loose – was admitted into high dependency ward hooked up to ecg etc – the foreign doctor had decided that i had thrombosis and was on death watch !!

Trouble is they needed blood !!  not my forte !!  they also needed a sample of blood taking from my wrist – well that was never going to happen !!!  I did allow myself to have a go – and to be fair i let him get needle in – then i had serious paddywack and have managed to make a right mess of my face with lots of popped blood vessels ! spent the whole day trying to get myself discharged after that but they would not let me go.

Had terrible episode with giving blood – had the hospital half frightened to death of me !!  but they would not let me go unless i agreed to be admitted (reckon they really meant commited !   )
So i had to have this really terrible injection in my belly (clexane) and then go in again for 8am yesterday.

They need to inject radioactive isotopes into my veins and then take scans of lungs etc – well you can imagine how that went !!  I screamed the place down, upset a lady who had been doing the job for 20 years by telling her that anyone who told her she was doing it properly and didn’t hurt was an ****** liar !!  etc.

Eventually managed to get it done though and all is well – there was no clot and i have now been given clean bill of health although the men from the funny farm have jacket ready for me !!

this spud is definately making me work hard for him - have taken every fear head on so far (not conquered any of it though  )

xx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi girls   

Just nipped in to say I'm 9 weeks preg   

Forgot about this post until it showed on new replies 

Hows it goin


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Wow debster - what wonderful news !!  well done you !!

welcome to the world of pregnancy - I am even worse at it than i am at needles !!!

xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hi Bic, hows it been?

Used to faint if I even so much as seen a needle! Got over it after stabbin myself in the guts twice a day though!    Had my first bloods done last weds and I even watched her do it. Gotta have more next week but I aint bothered. Goin   bout the rest of it though

Its amazin, was due for my 2nd IVF the month I got lucky  

At the moment I got sickness all day, insomnia, tiredness and sore (.)(.)   whoohoo!!!


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi deb

god you are so brave, i would never have done it to myself - hell i cant even let others do it without a fight !! 

I had awful first 18 weeks - everyone said it goes at 12wks, load of tosh - it goes when ready, i was sick all the time, tired all the time but couldnt sleep, sore boobs etc.

It hasnt got any better - the bigger i get the harder it gets !!  all good fun though !!

we have a little boy, craig wanted to know so i agreed - he still hasnt stopped smiling, he is due on 2nd jan so getting closer !!

xxx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

I've been counting down the days til i'm 12 weeks and start feeling better!!!   my sickness is goin at 12 weeks no matter what. Its hard to cope wiv stuff when ya feel sick all the time. Can handle the rest of it just want the sickness to go. nearly puked in tesco yesterday  

How soon did u find out it was a little boy? I want to know as soon as poss. I don't mind either way, just wanna know  

You worried about the main event? January aint far away at all!


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Deb

we found out at 18wk scan - craig still hasnt stopped smiling !!

I know how you feel about the sickness - I just felt constantly sick and miserable and actually felt better during treatment than pg !!

I have the main event slotted in the brain as trying to pass a square poo whilst riddled with piles !!  so should be good at that part    My biggest fear is them trying to get a canula in my hand - but woe betide anyone that trys !!

xxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Debster

how are things going ??  ok i hope - am thinking about you  

I am almost there 5 1./2 wks to go !!  omg  

xx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Well the little herbert is still throwing things at me !!

37 wk scan for placenta troubles has revealed he is size of 40wk baby so now waiting for hospital to call regarding testing for diabetes - more needles !!

Consultant also discussing c-section as he wants to take no chances !!, drips, anaesthetics and stitches - great for the worls biggest woosiest needle/vein phobe hey !!


xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi all

well since my last post i have had quite a lot of events.  Only a needlephobe will appreciate the irony here !!

Because the baby was putting on weight quickly in the last scans they took me in for gestational diabetes screening - so spent a whole day being stabbed in the fingers with a nasty sharp object - ouch !!  Needless to say there was no diabetes just a big baby !!

Then the main event !! 

Was petrified of having c-section or being induced as it would involve a canula - which is my biggest fear ! on the 30th december my waters broke - got to hospital and put on to monitors where they told me that i was having contractions - was well chuffed as i couldnt feel them - thought it was going to be a breeze    got admitted to ward at 2am and given a birthing ball - craig went home.  At this point i thought i would get my head down and was so chuffed that i didnt have to be induced as it was all happening on its own.

30 minutes later was a whole different story - contractions hurt like hell and i wanted to kick that bl**dy ball through the window for the help it was - had my tens machine pumped up to max volume and screamed like hell every time i got one.  By god does it hurt !!  nothing in the world will ever prepare you for that pain !!

I was convinced the head must be close as it was so painful - when she checked me i was only 3cm dilated - couldnt see how when it hurt this much !! 

I lasted about another couple of hours before i really couldnt take it no more and went down to labour suite.  Gas and air made me pass out and i got on to bed - i didnt like that but was determined not to have any needles.  1 hour later and i was screaming for anything they could give me !!  had a pethidine shot in the leg which stung like hell but didnt care just wanted it to go away.  I bet i was the noisiest person    

By lunchtime the pain was unbearable and they gave me another shot of pethidine in the other leg.  I cant believe how quickly the time passed and before i knew it the afternoon had arrived.  By now i really couldnt take pain and would have cut it out happily with a blunt knife !!  We all decided that despite my fear i must have the epidural as i was only 6cm dilated.

The anaesthatist arrived and started to slap my hand at which point i had a complete panic attcak - pulled my hand round, attempted to whack him and started screaming that i didnt want anything in my hand ! needless to say he refused to work on me !!  craig managed to get him to reconsider and i sucked on teh gas and air so hard i blacked out - it was the only way through for me - midwife wasnt happy and kept telling me only to inhale if i was having a contraction - i bit that thing so hard and was telling craig if i didnt i would kill them all  

the epidural didnt work - was blocked and so i had to have someone come back and redo it !!  the midwife just kept going on about how i had frightened the anaesthatist and she was generally amused at how someone could do that  

by 9pm they were trying to get me to push - but i didnt have the urge, i wanted to suck up not push !!  at 10.30pm they realised the baby was in distress and stuck and so we went to theatre.

I had to deal with another anaesthatist and lots of new drugs in the canula - very distressing but by now i am so tired and out of it that i couldnt care less what was going on.  Conrad was born at 11.27pm on the 31st december 2008, 24 hours after my waters had broken.

I had romantic ideas that we would have baby on 31st and the 3 of us would see in the new year together and forget all the misery of past treatments etc.  I remember looking into the light above me and thinking that my minnie looked like road kill and seemed to start at my belly button and finish at my knee caps !  took approx 45 mins to stitch me up and i think it was around 12.30am before anyone realised the new year had begun.

I couldnt feel anything becuase my arms were numb (obviously the hand with canula in didnt move in case i felt it  ) 

once i saw baby though - i didnt care about the hell i had just gone through and the pain seemed a distant memory.  I even kept the canula in for 12 hours before needing it out !!  mind you when the nurse removed it i had blood drip down my arm which didnt do anything to keep my fears under control and has possibly made me 10 times worse !!

since then i have suffered with stress incontinence, bad piles and infected stitches and still not doing that great.  But a cuddle with my boy makes facing all these fears head on worth while !!

xxx


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## Cotswold Girl (Nov 16, 2006)

Hi Ann - huge congratulations sweetie so glad you overcame your biggest fears and now have Conrad to show for it   

Debster - a belated congratulations to you too. Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy. 

CG xxxx


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi CG

yes - very traumatic but all worth it - although the constant screaming with colic is a bit of a downer !!

how are you ?  going for adoption i see - how far along are you ?  

annie

xx


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## Tracey and Neil (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi ladies! I just wanted to say how I wish I'd known about this thread before our IVF!! But I think I need your advice more than ever now!!

It seems that I prepared myself for trying to become pregnant, I even prepared myself for the IVF (with help of emla cream, diazepam/rescue remedy and hypnotherapy). But I never, ever prepared myself for being pregnant.

I am now 18 weeks and, due to a very sympathetic Midwife, have managed to avoid any blood tests. But I am very concerned about getting this little miracle into the world without my needle phobia getting out of hand.

I've been needle phobic since I had my pre-school booster injection at 4yrs old. I managed for years to keep it under control mainly by avoiding any needles possible at all cost. That was until we started TTC, and then it became obvious that if I wanted the chance to fulfil a dream and see Neil (DH) holding our child then I couldn't avoid them anymore.

Some of my TTC tests, a trip to the dentist and getting a kidney stone only fuelled my phobia more and resulted in me being completely out of control (and made the dentist cry).

At best I feel like a child, sobbing uncontrollably, begging the nurse not to do it. At worst I feel hostage to an irrational, out of control, adrenaline fueled 'me' that will do *anything* to avoid needles.

I have had some treatment. Counselling, which wasn't very successful. And some hypnotherapy which some helped and some didn't. Has anyone got any advice they can offer to get me through the next 22 weeks and through the birth?


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi TRacey

sounds like a woman after my own heart !!   I am a monster when someone is trying to get near me with a needle - espescially for blood taking as i am also vein phobic (ask the anaesthetist which one is worse )

I am afraid that even though i have now got such a wonderful beautiful miracle child and had that magic moment of seeing craig hold him for first time - I am still more phobic than ever !!

During treatment sometimes i managed blood tests and sometimes i didnt.  I didnt always make it easy for midwifes or doctors throughout pregnancy either !!  but i got there - you just do i promise.

I also told them under no circumstances were they to come near me with needle or canula during birth - trust me that soon changes !!  was in so much pain i had to give in - gas and air and a complete blackout helped !!

will help you as much as i can, will write more later - baby now up for a feed 

xxx


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## Tracey and Neil (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi there!

Thanks for your quick reply, and for making me feel less of a complete freak.  I too am worse with big needles being stuck in veins, in fact despite being anaethetised 5 times (1 for Laparoscopy, 4 for kidney stone), I have only ever been put to sleep by gas.  The only exception to this was for the egg collection in October, where I was very heavily sedated through a cannula in my arm, which I'd rather not repeat, ever.

In order to avoid being out of control, I am debating either going with my heart and having a home water-birth (where there are less Drs to stick stuff in me), or with my head and have an elective cesarean, as I am more in control if I can have my emla cream applied and can mentally prepare.  But my feelings about this change on an hourly basis!!

Just feel a bit uncertain about it all that's all!!


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi Tracey

I made the midwifes get me emla cream while i was in full screaming labour !! they thought i was barmy !   it didnt help either - i still tried to wallop the anaesthetist who then refused to work on me !!

I was a total screaming, age 2 uncontrollable idiot while they tried to put canula in hand - the only way i could let him do it was to get myself wasted on the gas and air and temporarily black out - the midwife was not amused - but it was better than the alternative - she was within reaching distance and was my next target   

I too have had hypnotherapy - i am not sure if it worked or just the fact that i am older and understand sometimes it needs to be done.  I have some horrific stories of the things i have done, always very funny for me afterwards and always finding the need to apologise to staff - but at the time i am like a rabbit caught between headlights !!

Try not to think about it at all and let the next 22 weeks fly by.  I had terrible labour (24hrs) and ended up in theatre - more touching the hand etc and was so traumatic it was unreal - I had an epiosotomy and lots of stitches and am still suffering 5 weeks later.  But when conrad was in special care i met a lady who had her first child normally and opted for caesarian for the little fella who was in special care - she told me that of the two options she would always go for natural - despite the trouble she had as the c-section was very very painful when you try to get up next day.  It also has a long recovery rate etc.

They were going to give me an elective c-section but i didnt think i would be able to cope with having a canula put into my hand whilst being awake and so chose not to go for it and to try natural - just didnt end that way.

My friend had a baby 12 days later and the labour ward still knew who i was - so you can guess just how much of a handful i was - but it is worth it in the end.

We are so alike as i also told everyone that i had spent so long trying to get a baby in there i hadnt actually thought about getting it out !!  I promise you that it is all worth it.

My little humbug has put me through hell - They thought i had blood clots and tried to take blood from my wrist - well that was just a disaster as i am sure you can imagine !!  Then becuase i wouldnt do that i had to have radioactive isotopes injected into veins for a body scan - that was even worse and i managed to upset a lovely lady who had done the job for 20 years !!  If there is a needle going my boy made me have it through pregnancy !!  guess he thought he was helping me with my fear  

we are all nutters together here - I am just glad i had this site and found others like me !!

I promise that it will be hell and i am sure you will be as much of a handful as me but the next 22 weeks will fly by and before you know it there will be sleepless nights, lots of sick, poo and wee and all the jabs, blood test and trauma are forgotten !!

xx


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## debster (Apr 23, 2007)

Hey   cograts Bic   least yours is all over eh   well done x


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

What do you think of your clinic?​
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=174973.msg2798346;topicseen#msg2798346


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## ACBICCY (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi All

Tracey how you doing ??  hanging in there i hope.  Hows the bump coming along ??

As a fellow emla user - have you ever had a reaction to it ??  I have, when i lost the first baby and went in for ERPC we put the cream on at 8am - both hands and with full power patches expecting to be in theatre early.  I didnt go down until 9pm that night and the emla had burnt my hands - took weeks to heal and was very itchy !!  also didnt stop me from scaring the anaesthetist !! 

x


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