# Feeling Sorry for Myself Today



## cosmicgirl (Oct 2, 2009)

I know it's something nearly all of us have to deal with but...that darn ********   

Today my old uni housemate posted that he's become a dad again and last month another old male friend of mine from school became a dad for the first time.  We don't really chat that much and they don't know about my IF and being typical men the fact their wives were pregnant were never mentioned until the births so both came out of the blue.

Bizarrely it's hit me far harder than when any of my female friends have babies, not sure if it's because seeing the once immature 'boys' I used to hang round with growing up and becoming dads just highlights how much my life has become stuck because of IF.  It also makes me so sad for my DH that he might never feel that joy they are currently feeling especially as I know he wants nothing in the world more than a child   

Sorry I'm such a misery today, doesn't help that AF has appeared and even though I know it's soooo unlikely you can't help having that small small ***** of hope each month.......oh well only 1 more AF to go now before I phone the clinic and get all my dates for my 2nd tx so that's good


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## sammij (Nov 9, 2005)

hey hun

am with you all the way - on my ** last night dh cousin announced expecting their 5th (!!) baby in the spring.

of course we're pleased (ish) for them - but its just so damn hard.  i posted y/day regarding my friends and their children - its seems to be getting harder to see them all each year.

and funnily enough -looked up an old college friend of mine on ** -he was such a geek (a loveable one) and now has 2 children - and your comment bout the boys now growing up and becoming dads does seem to be harder??

i have been a complete misery since my bfn last week - its all i can manage to get myself through the day at work - cannot think beyond each day to be honest.

roll on xmas - 45 sleeps.................

sxx


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## baby maryam (May 2, 2010)

Oh hun... I totally feel for you.
 
I am surrounded with babies and pregnancies wherever I turn. My sister in law who got married a year after my husband and I- is now pregnant with her third. 
I am happy for her, and happy for everyone else who has kids and I always pray to God to keep their kids happy and healthy- but at the same time- I wish to share some of that joy too...

To make things worse, today in the evening I am supposed to go to a baby shower for a lady who got married just 13 short months ago. And my 7th anniversary is fast approaching, and still... there is no bump.  

I believe in faith... I believe that God has decreed this for us. I just hope it doesn't last too long, because it is too painful and too hard to take in... may we be parents soon, ameen.


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## tribble (May 11, 2010)

LAdies, I won't even go onto ******** or register because of this problem - I feel like ** is just other people's fertility staring back at me!
It's bad enough coping with friends and colleagues being preg and having their families without going looking for more 
xxx


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## baby maryam (May 2, 2010)

I find the hardest part is when people ask me, immediately after how are you and your hubby- is there any babies yet?

Well... if there is, I would most certainly tell. Right?! Or what... some ppl are so ignorant to how they hurt you... 

It is like asking a cancer patient- how long are you gonna live and has the cancer reached stage 4 yet? I mean- I know I am struggling with IF, you don't need to constantly remind me of it when I sometimes just want to forget it and have a few happy moments in my life!!!


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## cosmicgirl (Oct 2, 2009)

baby maryam said:


> I find the hardest part is when people ask me, immediately after how are you and your hubby- is there any babies yet?


Not many people know about our IF so maybe I should give them a break but that gets me too, DH's aunt even told me that I'm not getting younger...yeah thanks for that 

When our friend announced she was expecting most of our little group knew about our IF but one didn't and naturally(?) asked us when we were going to have some babies - cue embarrassed looks from the other friends and me rolling out the usual rubbish about not being ready yet....they weren't particularly close friends and I don't want everyone knowing my business.

Actually we've just got home from seeing our friend's new baby girl, she is soooo adorable and hubby enjoyed a long cuddle with her and looks such a natural. Our friend had been TTC for 3 years and had suffered a number of miscarriages so I am so happy for her and her hubby they really deserve their happiness and their beautiful baby.....strange how I feel like this about their baby but get so cut up reading about others on ** 

I've avoided ** over the xmas period as it hurts too much reading about everyone's happy Christmas with their kids....really praying our Christmas won't be so empty next year


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## baby maryam (May 2, 2010)

Cosmic girl
I pray your wishes come true and that your next cycle is a success!!!

Don't give up hope, it is still early days, you have only had one treatment. And you are still young!!!

A good friend of mine just had her baby after 7 trials of IVF. She had 2 or 3 ectopic pregnancies due to which she had lost both of her tubes. All of the pgs were result of IVF. And this time- she managed to keep the baby and carry it almost full term. The baby girl was delivered through c-section. I am supposed to go see her friday eve, and I simply can't wait! I am so, so happy for her and for her hubby, they trully deserve this after all this struggle they have been through. She is 39, and he is 45. 

There is always hope and the light at the end of the tunnel. We just have to be    and keep on trying and hoping that SOON it will happen for us. And- it will, Godwilling. 

Take care and wish you a happy holiday season. Baby M.


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