# 2nd IVf unsuccessful :(



## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

I feel so low. Tired and broken emotionally as well as financially. The first IVF was in Jan-Feb. on NHS. day2 transfer and BFN. And now I am on my second one I need to do my test officially on Wednesday but tested today and it was negative 12 after a 5dtf. I was so hopeful. I wish we could go on holiday but we are saving every penny for the ivf.        Luckily, I have 3 frozen embryos from this cycle... how is every one else managing to cope emotionally and financially?


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Oh Purple Apple I feel your pain flower.. It's so darn hard and my heart breaks every time I hear a BFP or see a baby photo on ********. As you'll see I'm 5 down and no matter what anyone says it doesn't get any better, it doesn't solve the pain but one thing that does make you feel better is time.. As the weeks pass the pain gets easier but it'll never go away. 

Just keep your head up, deal with everyday as it comes and don't push yourself to be happy just give yourself time flower.. Take care xxx


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Purple Apple  

So sorry to hear this, so sad.  I agree with hbkmorris, it never gets easier getting a BFN, I think iv hurt more and more with each one to be honest but time does make you see things more clearly and as time goes on, it gets easier to deal with.

Let yourself be heartbroken for as long as you need to and as soon as you are ready to, you will draw the strength and energy and be able to move on and focus on your next one which hopefully will be third time lucky!

Iv had four BFNs so far and they completely suck!  

Take Care x


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Daisy chain.. I'm with you on the multiple BFN's I'm 5 down and there's nothing really wrong with me!! Well according to all tests anyhow though I had all immunes drugs last time thinking that was the problem but oh no same outcome.. It's just not fair and now money is becoming a very big issue x


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Hbkmorris - I'm the same, four down and no problems with me, last cycle I also had extra meds, aspirin clexane, something else and something else  

I'm starting to find it all a bit tedious but not giving up, no way! 

Your right, it's not fair!  

Really hope you get a break soon and that happy ending that everyone else seems to get!  Lots of luck   x


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Daisy chain I wish for the same for you, we need to be one of those lucky ladies now after all our heartache filled with negatives.

Bless you, when are you trying again? What will you do different? 

I've got 8 frozen eggs from last year which I'm going to try to fertilise in September/October and if they don't do any good I'll try my last two frozen embies from my last cycle if that fails I'm going to look into egg donor as there has to be something wrong with the quality of my eggs, something there not picking up (although two clinics have said there perfect) 

Xx


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Hi hbkmorris and Daisy-Chain

Thank so much for trying to cheer me up. 

There are 3 frozen embryos so they are our chances for this year. Most probably we will not have enough money for another cycle this year . I am going to be 39 in October so I do not even know if I have any changes left.  When do you think it is wiser to give up? Can I ask which clinic you have used? I have been with Chelsea and Westminster and I have heard a lot of good things about ARGC but I have also heard how expensive they are so scared to try them. Do you know about them ?


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Your welcome purple, no one can tell you to give up flower as it has to come from you and as you can see what I've been through I'm still going to give up so poush in and keep saving for next year.. I'm going to give myself this last go with my own eggs and then if that fails again I'll cycle when I'm 40-41 with donor.. Just keep trying you've not had enough to say 'Game over' 

I've a friend who went to ARGC and yes very expensive indeed.. Her cycle wasn't very good there so went to Lister and low and behold the best cycle ever and she's now pregs with due date being end if June! I'm in the midlands so don't really know the other clinics very well so I wouldn't like to comment. 

Fingers & toes crossed you won't need to think that far ahead xx


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Purple - iv never used ARGC either, have read lots about it but its quite a long way from me.  They have very good stats though but I hear its very expensive also.

Again, I agree with hbkmorris, only you can decide when it's enough.  Some people set a number out in their minds and think ok once I get to three, no more and they stick to it.  I always said at the start I would have maximum 3 cycles and then move on but iv now had four and in the process of 5 and I have no intention of stopping until I get my baby!

Sadly, some people run out of funds and have no option than to stop and move on, I find this heartbreaking for them, others emotionally just cannot continue.  It's just so hard.  Only you will know when you have had enough, don't go by when someone else has had enough, you can only think of yourself  


Hbkmorris -   good luck with your eggs and your embryos, fingers crossed you don't even need to contemplate the egg donor route but its always good to have a plan in place.  I think donors are amazing giving people a further chance!

Well I'm about to have cycle 5 but the thing is, the embryos are always ok, my lining is what they say is fine, I respond well etc, iv had extra progesterone and clexane and things, I just don't know what I can do differently.  The clinic are adamant that there is nothing else other than bad luck for us!


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Daisy your clinic are saying the same as mine and I moved thinking my old clinic didn't have a clue (well some of that is true). So if its not our eggs, nor lining, nor immunes & nor sperm what's the next!! So are you doing everything as before? I'm trying natural fet next (fingers crossed) with immunes support just incase it's the drugs that don't agree with me if that doesn't work then I'm at a loss and that's why I've had to consider donor egg. 

I've read that when ladies have gone to serum they've all had hysto's costing £1500 + and the clinics found adhesions, scar tissue and endom but when I questioned this with my new clinic they said if when they did all my first tests there was problems they'd of said so but still nothing.. It's crazy isn't it.. 

Anyhow good luck for no 5 hope my no 6 works to and fingers crossed for your cycle purple xxx


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Iv had a hysto and everything fine, endometrial biospy and scratch and still no joy!  I do wonder about my lining though, it gets very thick, it worries me every single cycle!  

Hopefully a natural FET might be just what you need!  Probably sounds really bizarre but I'm having a natural IUI next, thawing all of the last of the sperm that we have and using it that way.  I don't want to do another ICSI with it and I don't want to dispose of it either so it's the only thing that makes sense.  The clinic have said success rate for me is really small but not zero, well if I try naturally its zero so its better chance than that! x


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Bless you Daisy and I think that's a great action plan.. As you say it's there to be used and if IUI means they put it right where it needs to be so it may just be the hidden link.. God I truly hope so, when do you start that cycle? 

What thickness is your lining then at transfer stage? Mines between 9-11.. I've had the biopsy, scratch, aqua wash etc.. Bloomin heck we really have been through it. I did an article in Grazia magazine a few weeks back talking about my ivf journey how much it's cost and the emotional strain it's been.. Reading it back makes me realise just how much I've gone through.. Crazy world xx


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

Oh wow, did you contact them to do it?  My clinic asked if I would mind my details being passed to a media department somewhere a while back, I said I didn't mind but haven't heard anything since!

So your lining thickness would fall in the ideal range wouldn't it?  I think that's between 9 and 16mm!  Mine is always around 20mm, sometimes slightly thinner but mainly thicker, once was 22mm if I remember rightly!

Well I say I'm having that IUI next, I actually had it yesterday so I'm on my 2ww!  I'm really trying to block it out but it's so hard haha!  You would think I'd be used to it by now being my fifth 2ww but no, I'm addicted to the Internet and haven't done much else today!


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Omg daisy congrats on being on your 2ww.. Oh my how exciting, I've my everything crossed for you. 

My mate started up a business called mumsclub and she's now an MBE anyhow Jane gets lots of media requests and I've done 3 now in total.. It all adds to the pot of ££ and more importantly to raise awareness of infertility in both women & men. I didn't find out I had probs until later on in life and if I knew earlier I would if tried earlier so I'm trying to build awareness on this basis. 

Xx


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## Daisy-Chain (Aug 12, 2012)

That's brilliant, I admire people who go out of their way to raise awareness, its so important whether ££'s are included or not, so many people are oblivious, live their life and put it to the back of their mind until a later date and sometimes that's just too late!

Haha, thank you, I think I need all of the   I can get! x


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Wow I have not had half the examination you have had girl. I do not even know the thickness of my womb lining.Daisy-Chain, I really hope you will have some great news soon.


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Purple apple I've tried to pm you back but it won't allow me to for some reason. I think they've take the bubble thing off so I'll have to change my status.. Bless you x 

You'll have more tests the more the cycles produce negatives.. Just be warned if I was you I'd start having some now one privately.. You don't get much on the NHS so I've paid for all of mine xx


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Hbkmorris, 

I do not get anything from NHS anymore.   I only had a cycle paid and the second one sadly is paid by us.  Anyway, my doc did not recommend any further examinations yet so I do not know if I need to and which one. I have a 7.8 AMH and my partner`s sperms have some motility issues I think.  How much time have you left between your cycles? Do you know if FET is with drugs  or they just put the embryos back?


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Bless you, ok let's see if I can help you. 

The extra tests I & Daisy have had aren't on the NHS anyhow so you'd have to pay for them. After my 3rd cycle I decided to get a natural killer uterine biopsy which would tests the nk cells in my uterus this came back normal to high therefore immunes drugs we're prescribed to me. You've already had your AMH test done which is good and if (god to hope it doesn't) but your next cycle fails I'd research into having this done but as I say it's private. Then you can have other blood tests done which check blood clotting issues and Karyotype for gene checking. One thing you could ask for and your clinic could do it (if there open to immunes and additional tx) is a Endo scratch which is done the period cycle before your tx period cycle (if that makes sense) these can also be called implantation cuts (aids implantation although still log worked for me) 

How do your eggs do fertilisation wise? 

As for cycles it's varied I started with 1 every 3 months then the last two ice had 6 months apart and this time it's 9 months due to having to save extra hard. 

As for FET there are two types one is medicated and other Natural. If you have a regular period cycle then I'd opt for natural fet rather than medicated as your best as drug free as possible but you find most clinics like to go with medicated fet so they have more control over you and can gage when your ready for transfer as some clinics don't work weekends or bank holidays. 

Hope that helps you.. If I can help anymore just ask away x


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Thanks for your help and ideas hbkmorris.   
In the last cycle I had 16 eggs and 8 fertilized with ICSI. I got 2 blasto back and 3 in the freezer. I have a regular period.


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Purps, you respond well so that's good.. When you had 16 eggs collected how many we're mature for icsi? As I'm sure not all 16 would of been (gives a better fertilisation rate when you know that) and what grade were the blasts? I'd of thought good if you got to freeze 3. 

Clearly your protocol suits you and depending on mature eggs no fertilisation sounds good. If I was you when you have fet and again I'd suggest natural as medicated is A, long winded 2/3 weeks down reg and 2 weeks on HRT B, you don't know what the drugs are doing to your bod (I don't like buserelin & messes me up terribly). 

I'd ask for the scratch next time the cycle before your tx cycle.. Defo worth a try xx


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Hbkmorris, 

I think I have 18 all together and 16 was used (mature?). I was on short protocol. We are going to see my doc on wed. for a follow up consultation so I will see what he says.


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

That right so you had 18 of which 16 mature and fertilised.. Your a good responder so that's a positive. Do you have a normal period cycle? If so I wonder if your clinic would advise natural FET or medicated.. Natural is supposed to be best as you take no drugs and is as natural as ivf can be.. I've only had medicated but next time I'm hoping for natural. 

Good luck with your apt and keep us upto date x


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Yes regular cycle. Thanks. I will let you know. Good luck to you too.


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

Hi, 
I have had my post treatment consultation finally, and I am going to have a natural frozen cycle with embryo glue. sound good to me


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## Hbkmorris (Apr 7, 2010)

Wicked purple that's great news.. Make sure you keep me informed on the Nat fet as I'll be heading that way end of the year.. Good luck x


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

thanks hbkmorris


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## purple apple (May 27, 2013)

had my natural FET today with 2 blastos ... excitining


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