# To pay or not to pay



## dumbwing07 (Feb 4, 2012)

Hi ladies

I have a beautiful little boy through IVF, I got pregnant on my 1st cycle but on the 3rd ET and had no frosties left. That means we would have to self fund if we wanted another baby. I want another one more than anything but I really dont know if its a good idea. We had come to the decision after a long chat that we werent going to have any more babies due to the high cost of IVF but as time goes on, instead of getting over it its getting harder to deal with, maybe because of people close to me having babies, i also still go to baby groups etc with my toddler. I guess i always just imagined a house full of little ones. I also recognise how lucky i am to even have him in the first place. I just dont know what to do xxxxxxxxxx


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## Rio2016 (Aug 24, 2016)

What does your OH think? Have you mentioned that its getting harder for you? 

We've paid for three rounds so i'm firmly in the pay camp! I don't know about your financial situation, but there isn't a massive window to have children so could you prioritise that for now? 

xx


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## dumbwing07 (Feb 4, 2012)

rio - my husband is fine either way, he is blissfully happy in our family bubble as am I but I just cant get over it, No i havent told him this, ive just told him I want another but know we cant.  We both work and are comfortable, im also at college doing maths and english to hopefully go on to social work in september.  This is the other reason we decided not to go again if we wait i will hopefully have a career by then and i wanted to have children before i did anything different with my working life. It needs to be soon or not at all as far as im concerned but he doesnt believe this, when we last had the conversation he said lets wait a year, take out a loan and try then but then ill be doing the course, ds wont be at full time school yet etc etc list goes on. xxxxxxxx


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## Rio2016 (Aug 24, 2016)

Maybe you could make an appointment to speak to an IVF consultant and see what they say about timings? They may think it’s fine to wait or advise delaying the other things. I’ve run out of time on my own eggs so I’m coming to this from that view point.. you might be totally fine and able to wait a few more years x


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## mierran (Apr 24, 2009)

It is difficult. I have 3 children. It took 5 cycles to get my twins and another 3 cycles to get dd2. I try not to think about how much they have cost me. BUT would I change it - good grief no. In fact, I am now looking at giving my two ice babies a chance.

I put ivf in another mental category to other money. I save on everything else - drive an old car, holiday with family, haggle for everything, shop yellow stickers and in the sales ( I started buying Xmas presents in the sales last December). All so I can put another few quid into that ivf fund.

Look at what time you have , what your response was to treatment etc. Even look at a freeze all cycle if you think you want to leave it a couple of years. 

But I'd rather have my old banger and holidays at my step Mums and my kids than a new car and fancy holiday any day.


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## dumbwing07 (Feb 4, 2012)

*mierran *- exactly how i feel as far as being savvy with everything else in my life, i too buy xmas presents throughout the year, drive an older car, go on holiday in the UK etc just so i can have a nice house and my son wants for nothing. I work part time, 26.5 hours but its enough for us to be comfortable and at the end of it, if we have a loan to pay off for a couple of years and we have another baby out of it then couple of years down the line the loans gone and we have another baby, seems like a no brainer. I responded really well to treatment and got pregnant on ET number 3 but used all embies getting to that point. Its such a big thing to go through and I really dont want to sacrifice my ds quality of life but have always imagined him having a brother or sister xxxxxxxxx


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## mierran (Apr 24, 2009)

Hi,
My lot love having each other. And are excited about the idea of another one maybe joining our family. Your son will, I am sure, love being a big brother if all works out. And I think it teaches kids about responsibility, sharing, love, and where to hide things so their little sister/ brother can't get at it.

The thing for me too in life is that I have to know I tried. Like with my icebabies. I have to give them a chance. If it doesn't work I then need to decide what I do about another cycle. But first, my frosties.

So give it a go. Interest rates are very low at the moment. Look at can you do a bit of extra something be it a bit of overtime or cover / bank/ locum /agency work depending on your job. It often pays better and as not regular can be fitted in when someone can babysit. Look at what you can afford. You will already have a lot of the baby stuff so costs will be lower too. And tbh when you have mixed ages things like soft play or the park more fun than expensive classes.

Good luck and fingers crossed.  .


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