# Another friend/relative preg



## MIMI4

Hi all

Just needed someone who understands and thats you lot. Just found out someone else is BFP. DH said 'Aren't you pleased?' (his relative) I said that yes of course I was pleased for them it's just another reminder that we aren't and someone else had either had an 'accident' or planned their preg. It all seems to fall into place for some people yet we have been trying for 2nd for 5 years ( m/c 2 yrs ago). I'm going in for treatment on endo and will find out what our chances are this time. Sometimes I wish I could hide away from everyone elses bfp's but thats life and it will always be there. I am happy for them but feel sad for us too.....is that selfish? 

Thanks for listening, no one understands like FF.

MIMI4


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## missyb

awww MIM

you're not being selfish at all. sometimes it's so hard when other people seem to achieve what we have been struggling to and with ease... like you said what makes it harder is when it's unplanned or an 'accident'. one of my friends got pg twice in the time we were trying and although she was fab about it and we were happy for her we were sad 4 ourselves.  the one thing i have learnt from being on this site is that miracles do happen.. so dont give up even if things seem dire.


amanda xx


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## Piriam




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## honeypinkblonde

hi i feel the same.my oh wouldnt ask me because he would know the answer no i'm not happy for them!we've had loads of babies through his side of the family and i've felt so jealous.i just wish it was me.i feel so jealous as even though i have 2children i had preeclampsia both times and now have traumatic stress following my sons birth 6yrs ago when i nearly died he was a 32wker.i cant even look at babies and go out my way to avoid them.last night i dreamed of a baby it wasnt mine but i let myself hold it and take in the baby smell which i'd never do in real life!to top it all off i'm due on just after christmas and i feel like hiding away from it all.all xmas i'll have to see the baby which arrived just in time for last christmas and which my mil will keep saying to me isnt she gorgeus.they dont know we are ttc.i will think no shes not gorgeus shes got a big head!although i risk sounding like a cow i wanted to be honest so you know we all feel like this at times or most of the time.we must not let it beat us!i hope the future will be bright for all of us.tc


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## isobel snow drop

I think we all understand and empathise with you, its so damned hard to be pleased for other people when your heart is breaking  Ive been through this a lot over the last few weeks with family members and friends etc and it just hits me like a ton of bricks each time.
take care honey xxx


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## guccimama

Hi folks...
it is so hard...I should be 29 weeks pregnant and lost my baby in september. My sister is now 39 weeks pg with her 3rd child...I am happy for her but want my own baby so badly. We have had 5 lots of treatment so far and spent a stupid amount of money and emotion...and cant get what we want...everyone around me is pg or just delivered...and yet people say ooh you are not trying again are you...when are you going to stop?
  
best wishes to everyone
guccimama


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## honeypinkblonde

hi you need to let your feelings out,it must be hard seeing your sister its normal to feel like that.it hurts so much when someone else has what we want so very much.especially at this time of the year it seems worse.just wanted to say i hope you feel better soon.dont give up i really hope its your year in 2010.take care of yourself and stay strong


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## Victoria-Helen

My mum is pregnant, total accident and she hardly even seem happy about it. My cousin has jut had her 3rd baby, she doesnt even enjoy the first 2 she had. 

I feel like god is laughing at me.

Every year since we started trying my mum has bought me clothes two sizes too big and keeps saying that will be great for when your pregnant. Now its her not me. 

Well, rant over, dont ever feel guilty or selfish or anything like that, we all know when you want something so much that it hurts us, and its very hard for people not in the situation to see it.


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## honeypinkblonde

i really feel for you.it must be awful with your mum like that.you poor thing!i've bought pregnancy clothes,planned what pram i'm getting i just never thought after 2yrs there wouldnt even be a hint of a baby.i get you with the god thing to its hard to still have faith.i dont understand what i've done so wrong.you've been pregnant once try to focus on the fact you can conceive i really hope it happens for you all this year.


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## guccimama

Hi ladies...well christmas is done...I did not think I could get through it...but I did. My darling sister had her baby..I was so privallaged to be able to be with her and her partner to see my little nephew lincoln arrive. It was hard afterwards when I came home but I have decided that I have to embrace him..I held him again today and he looked deep into my eyes and I swear to god he knows how much I want a baby...I know he will keep me going this year, our final year of TX if we dont get PG before next christmas we will stop. My sis is being wonderful...I am lucky as she does understand how much we want this..
I hope you girls find some strength to get through another year...of tx or not. I am having a go from another angle. We are looking into immune issues and trying to get some different meds this next time round..will let you know how i get on..
Keep the faith ladies...chins up...
Gucci


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## isobel snow drop

Big   to you Gucci, stay strong xxxx


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## MIMI4

Hi everyone

It's been a little while and I was feeling just the same as before so thought I would look around and stumbled across my own message! And between then and now it feels like I'm completely smothered by other bumps and babies. It's never benn this busy in my family/friends. So as you can guess I'm not feeling great again, seeing cons tomorrow to discuss endo surgery again. The sad thing is that I always feel like I'm being the awkward or difficult one when I can't face certain situations, which isn't very often. I'm actually quite good and grinning and bearing, then crumble when I get home. Saying that I've got a good feeling about this year.......fingers crossed!   

MIMI4


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## isobel snow drop

Good luck for the appointment today MIMI4. Thinking of you  xxxx


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## guccimama

Well hello again ladies....I cant sleep...I am on my 2ww and really feel like i have been kicked in the teeth...my sister (older) has 5 boys all over 18, the eldest has just announced they are 6 weeks pg with there 3rd child in 3 years...the next one has a baby due in 4 weeks, the next has announced his girlfriend he has known for 10 weeks is 7 weeks pg, the next one has a 4 month old that we look after everyweekend as they cant cope with her has also told me she is 6 weeks pg and does not want it but cant "get rid" as she puts it....I am soooo very devastated...to top it off the last son has a 15 year old gilrfriend who has announced her period is a week late...no positive test yet though...

My little one was due on saturday and so that was hard enough but it really does feel like someone is taking the micky....dont get me wrong i am happy for my nephew whos baby is due soon as it was planned and is very much wanted but as for the others they were not planned and except for my oldest nephew not particularly wanted. 
I sound awful don't i...  It is soooo unfair, I really dont know where you ladies get the strenght from that dont have children, I know I have them already but it hurts like hell.

I really hope this tx gets us a bfp cause I am not sure what we do if it does not....I was never supposed to have an issue getting pregnant, just keeping pregnant...now I cant seem to do either...
Not sure if I will have the strength for tx number 7 = hopefully we wont need it..
Lots of love to those going through a rought time right now..
Guccimama


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## isobel snow drop

Gucci  

I know how you feel, as you have children people don't think that it affects you do they  My cousins girlfriend is due on the day I was due in May, my best friend is almost 6 months pregnant and my sil 5 months pregnant- it just feels as though everyone is except me 
When I was having tx yrs ago before having my twins every time I had tx someone in the family got pregnant which always meant I spent my full 2ww in floods of tears.
Stay strong honey and wishing you lots of   

Isobel
xxxxx


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## honeypinkblonde

i'm still feeling the same.my dd was 12 yesturday which bought back all the memories,we were in hospital for a month and i was only 16 and not treated to nicely by the nurses!so yesturday we have little party for dd and my in laws turn up with my ohs brothers baby.we dont get on they have 4children.in laws dont know we're ttc at all but it hurt.i felt so upset and awkward in my own home it was horrid and i just got drunk,i know in laws didnt mean to upset me or know they did.but my oh is the best hes so great for putting up with me.i always feel so sad when i see babies but my lastest thought i'm trying out is maybe all the babies i see are a sign for me showing me what i want so much and telling me not to give up.trying to think this way!oh booked to hair appointment the other day a baby had to sit behind me,it was very tiny.sometimes you just gotta laugh!stay strong everyone. babydust to everyone


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## Mazza1971

*Guccimama* - I have just read your post and have no idea how you have managed to stay sane and so strong!   . Infertility has got to be one of the hardest things to go through and it really bugs me that people don't think it causes you pain when they announce their fantastic news as you already have a child/children! I constantly have people telling me that at least you have one (as if I shouldn't be greedy) and really can't understand why I would put myself through IVF. Don't they think I know how lucky I am but does that mean that I should not want another! Even I feel guilty when there are people who are undergoing IVF whom don't have children - but really if you are putting yourself through it does that mean that your need/want is any less than others? Thinking of you and    that this is your time and that you get that  .

Sending you lots of  

mary xx


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## honeypinkblonde

hoping everyones ok,just feeling a bit down.a friend of mine is due any day,someone else to avoid,another friend is expecting.just really want it to be me to.i want to talk about babies,push a pram,get stretchmarks.i just want to join in.its really getting me down.i feel old tired,fat and really sad.glad i can vent here,noone else understands


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## MIMI4

Hi honeypinkblonde,

Just saw your post. I hope everything was ok for you when your friends baby arrived. I know we say we're happy for others but it doesn't stop our pain. I'm finding people are avoiding me which hurts, some people just can't cope with the awkwardness I suppose. We are lucky to have found this site, it certainly helps me when I'm feeling low. Thinking of you.

 

MIMI4


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## honeypinkblonde

hi i havent heard about the baby yet not exactly sure if its hear yet i'm trying not to see her.i know that sounds really awful but we're friends who've know each other years and go months without seeing each other.i've been doing ok but afs here and i feel like crying.i dont know how much longer to try.whilst i wouldnt wish this on anyone it really helps to know your not alone.i hope your ok.take care x


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## honeypinkblonde

the babys arrived and i wasnt told.another friend pregnant.i'm 28 my eldest is 12 but most of our friends have only just settled down so i just know this is the start.i wish i could be happy for them,but i just feel left out.i really feel i've reached my lowest now i've cried so many tears.
i dont know how to look forward my next step is ivf which i know will be hard.at the end of the day i will look at adoption i have so much love to give,for me i've not done mothering yet.i'm grateful to have time on my side as i'd look into adopting older children but not yet.
hows everyone else feeling?i'm feeling quite positive somehow i'll become a mother again,i'm ready to stop this sadness i always feel thats trying to destroy me and my dear oh.after 13yrs i will not let anything come between us i just feel now i have to keep the sadness inside.
take care everyone xx


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## bubblicous

honeypinkblonde - why didnt anyone tellyou the babyhad arrived thats a bit off i hope you are ok sweetie


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## honeypinkblonde

my best friend was trying to protect me-bless her.feeling a bit better now.yesterday i managed to look at a friends baby,he was gorgeus i looked at him and just thought i'd do anything...
hope this is a good year for us all xxx


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## macavity

WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
I am so angry and looking for an outlet!!!
Having just suffered my 3rd miscarriage last month (Very early, 'only' 5 weeks) I have been wobbling through the last couple of weeks, swinging between resignation and upset and occasional ok- ness. 
But truly, I feel like with each new pregnancy announcement from friend/relative (and there seem to be an amazing amount of announcements lately) it is like being slapped in the face. Hard.
On Friday my s-i-l who has a 4-monthe old baby (!!!) told me she was 5 weeks pregnant. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS! I just wanted to put my fingers in my ears and sing. Apparently they deliberated long and hard over whether to tell me or not (Well it can't have been that long seeing as they've only known their news for 1 week ) and decided it was for the best to metaphorically whack me in the face with their clenched fists.
I know I'm being melodramatic, but it is such a lonely place innit? My parents in law are very much "Yes we know it must be hard for you....but....it's great news isn't it?!"




I feel like being such a b***h and saying, "Errrr- no. I can't see any positives at the moment, sorry.  






I found her last preg really hard to witness as it was directly after my 2nd miscarriage at 9 weeks (D&C etc) and we had to go on hol with them and be smiley etc, but I coped. This is going to be tougher though, not sure how I'm going to get through it without becoming a gibbering loon!!


I would really appreciate any support as I feel like there is, literally, NO-ONE that understands who I can talk to- even my closest friends think I'm being unreasonable- maybe I am.


  xx


Rant over.


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## isobel snow drop

Macavity   Why do they all do- telling us so early on?   I know where your coming from re all the pregnant people about, whats going on there must be a baby boom  as Im sick of hearing about or seeing pregnant women  
My sil is also pregnant (7months) and they told me at 3weeks yes you heard right a week before her period was due    To be fair that was my brothers fault as my sil had told him not to as it was only 4weeks after my m/c. They had been trying for 1 month and I just felt they could have kept it to themselves for another month or so    Now she is 7 months pregnant Im ok with it all and have been out shopping for the baby etc and Im really looking forward to the baby arriving but I know it will be painful when she is actually here especially now Ive just had another m/c. 

 Isobel xxx


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## bubblicous

macavity - first of all so sorry for your loss     and im so sorry about your sil you are right they obviously didnt think to long and hard about telling you seens as how they have only known for a very short time 

life is really not fair most of the time and its so hard when everyone is announcing their fab news when all we want to do is scream and cry 

i have a good few friends pregnant at ther moment and like you everyone feels like another blow another look what i can do and you cant 

we will get there one day though and hopefully not to far in the future

sending you lots of hugs honey xxx


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## honeypinkblonde

i'm sorry for your loss,just want to send you  .i just feel like hiding when a hear of a new baby,then i feel really jealous and wish it was me.it will hurt when the baby arrives but thats still a way in the future and i know how hard it is seeing the bump.i would feel so angry if they kept going on about it knowing how sad you are.your not alone,sadly there are loads of us about and we've all had these feelings.hope you feel better soon and hope our times coming.


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## guccimama

Well folks we post baby number five in April and since then we have had three nephews announce pregnancies my 16 year old niece has now found herself with child and no partner and to top it off I have just been tld I am going to be a nannan! My son and his partner are due in march! Been trying two weeks!!! I am happy to be a nannan but the are not in a stable relationship in fact had split up when she did the test! Grrrrrrrrrrrr timing folks lol
on a brighter note I am off again for another go x not me this rme though my sister will carry the baby for us as my liver is too damaged for ivf now x 
will let you know how we get on xxx


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