# Feeling inferior!!



## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hi everyone

I just wanted to post to off load a little......

I'm in a new relationship and finding things a little difficult! The thing is i feel inferior about other women particularly my DPs ex's....i spoke to my counsellor about this and we came to the conclusion that in my head i am insecure about myself mainly due to my diagnosis which makes me infertile   
I feel insanely jealous about my DPs ex partners.....i know this sounds quite irrational. I don't think he is going to go back to them....it's more i worry that I'm not as 'good' as them. It's really getting me down   

Does anyone else ever feel like this? I hope I'm not the only one who feels mad!!!    

Love
Florie xx


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## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

florie, i feel like this all the time. 

With my dh, his first gf became pregnant at 16 and was made to have an abortion. And then another gf of his was pregnant and then had a miscarriage. His ex--wife had 3 children with him and also 2 miscarriages. Quite often I question him abut these and realise I am jealous. Even though 2 of them didn't eventually have his children, he managed to create a life with them, and its not ahppening for us. 

Ian assures me there is a no competition, but i have tried explaining that it always seems I have to compete with them, especially his exwife as he still has contact cos of his 3 children. I never feel good enough, and i always feel second best, even though he assures me this is not the case. 

You are not alone at all florie. xx


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Aww thanks Flow....its nice to know i'm not alone as sometimes infertility is so isolating isn't it?!   

I don't know why we don't listen to our DP's when they tell us we are all they want....i guess the infertility really knocks the stuffing out of us eh??!!

Love
Florie xx


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## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

Tell me about it. Ian gets frustrated sometimes and says 'why won't you believe a word I tell you?'.

I think its just so easy to imagine the worst. xx


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## LAURA H (May 26, 2008)

Hi Girls,

Did want to read and run. I know what you mean about been jealous I was jealous of my partners ex from about 18 years ago. she posed a picture of him and her at her 18th with arms around each other I went bonkers about it then she invited him to her school reunion even though he left 7 years before her. I know i was been silly and he said if i wanted to be with her i would have stayed with her. Our relationship is different to his and hers and i have nothing to worrie about. I know dp has had previous partners but it's still not nice seeing a picture of them. I became all paranoid and he eventually ended up saying to me your pushing me away further and further when you keep going on about something that isn't happening. I know it a bit of a different situation but the feeling insecure part is still the same i found myself lying in bed thinking of them together and allsorts. I was nearly driving myself round the bend. Then my friend told me he is in bed next to me every night and he loves me stop pushing him away, I though she has a point and I got over it. Took a while though.

All the best Laura xx


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## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

Laura, you are so right. 

I think we have to remember that they are coming home to us every day and sleeping next to us every night, and not someone else. xx


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Good point Laura! I don't know why we find it so hard to believe what our DP's say and that they really want us! 

Your message made me smile as you sound just like me!   

I'm going to try and be more rational....wish me luck LOL!

Florie xx


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## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

florie good luck hun. xxxx  

I will be feeling inferior tonight. its my stepdaughters prom, so her mom will be there doing all the mumsie stuff while all I can do is stand and watch.


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## florie (Nov 28, 2006)

Hi Flow

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. I'm sure your step daughter appreciates you being there as much as her mum. It sounds like you get on well. I guess times like that will come and go but I'm sure you will always have an important role to play   I'm sure you'll love to see the photos and hear all about the dress. Perhaps next time there is a big event you could get her something special to go with her dress like a piece of jewellery   

My DP went to a family BBQ last night, i couldn't face going as it was going to be full of children and i felt too tired....but i couldn'thelp thinking that his ex would have gone (she had children from a previous relationship) and taken her kids and they would have been a happy family. We spoke about it the other night again and he's insistant that he doesn't want children and he only wants me!.....and i guess if he wanted the happy family scenario he'd still be with her!

Love
Florie xx


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## Flow13 (Jul 22, 2009)

The prom went well and Ashleigh (my SD) was great. She talked to both her mom and us while we waited for the car at her friends house. She even asked for a photo to be taken with me. it was also nice that it was our house she was coming back to after. 

Hope you are ok Florie. xx


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