# Worried about not being able to give semen sample



## avjmh (Apr 19, 2009)

hello,
my DH is totally convinced that he's not going to be able to "perform" when required.   We haven't even chosen a clinic yet, but he's already saying that I will have to go in with him to the "mens room" and give him a helping hand...! I have read in various books that this is not normally aloud, so what to do? He rarely masturbates and didn't even when he was a teenager so has anyone got any tips? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated as it's now really worrying me!
Thanks in advance.


----------



## still smiling (Jan 15, 2009)

Hi,

I really feel for the guys on this one.In the grand scheme of things it would appear to be the easier contribution but i'd rather jab 365 days a year than have to do that.
My DH had issues with this too and so he never did the sample at the clinic but just dropped it off within an hour max(sooner the better and they'll tell you how to transport it).
I never asked at the time what 'means' he used but turns out his laptop and a few rude clips came into it.

I don't know about your clinic but mine will allow you both into the room because,to quote the nurse,"we just need it by whatever means".
The last option is a special condom that would allow you to have sex and then empty the contents.It's not the preferable option as it could mean losing some but most clinics have to account for people of the faiths that prohibit masturbation.We were offered that route due to my DH's faith
That obviously would'nt be an option on egg collection day though,just routine SA samples.

The last option is your DH getting his head around the fact that actually NO-ONE cares but him.My DH imagined them all having a good giggle about it and constantly made jokes etc to the nurses and consultants on the defense until he realized he was actually irritating them!They just don't care.

Actually that is'nt the last option!...He could also freeze a sample(given at a time to suit)so that he's not under pressure on the big day.Fresh sperm is better but frozen is better than none if he really can't manage it.

Lots of luck


----------



## CraigS (Apr 15, 2009)

If you'll pardon the expression I'm an "old hand" at this now.  I was worried too - you wouldn't believe the things that go through our heads - stuff like "how will I get it in that wee tub", "what if nothing happens", "should there not be more than that?".... it's all going through your head.

First few times (for tests prior to starting cycles "proper") I did it at home - you soon work out a method that works.  Mine involved Lorraine Kelly.  Joking.  To be honest the first time was a bit of a struggle, especially as DW was next door, but you just tell yourself it's for the greater good.  And FWIW we were told it had to be a "solo effort".  Bear in mind that if your hubby does it at home he'll maybe have to drive like a bat out of hell to reach the clinic in time, and you have to factor in "clean up" time within the hour you have to get to the clinic.  

And make sure he knows where he's going as first time I had to take in a sample I went to the Assisted Contraception Clinic when I should have been taking it to the Assisted Contraception Suite.  So I had to run like a bat out of hell to make it within the hour.  God knows what they must have though when I showed up clutching the wee bag with the tub in it, all out of breath and sweating like a pig  

So now I use the facilities in the suite.  I tend to take some candles, put on some chill out music... 

Seroiusly - it is easier if your hubby does it on site.  They'll provide magazines (one of which at my clinic was "Women In Uniform - Nurses Special" - which was abit weird) for your hubby to use.  He'll be able to peform on the day no problem.  Just need to keep reminding yourself it's for the greater good.


----------



## Gem78 (Apr 10, 2009)

Hi, 

Me and dh have had a few chuckles about this recently..

At our hospital the old disabled toilet functions as the sample room..  

He was told there are some 'reading materials' and this turned out to be a well thumbed 1980's edition of razzle with reader wifes on the front cover   .  Added to that there was building work outside the window, and the coffee trolley lady talking outside the door to a nurse about her upcomming holiday... He's convienced its the reason for recent low sample!

Now my oh isnt a big ******   but ive told him he needs to up his game for the big day, ive actually suggested i buy him a better class of mag and he trials a few before treatment so on the day he knows what is going to work best! (Believe me, not something i would EVER suggest under normal circumstances)  It isnt romantic and not how i envisaged us making a baby, but needs must, this crazy IVF road makes you learn lots about yourself and what your prepared to do!

Hope it all goes swimmingly for you both    (sorry!)


----------



## nomadcelt (Nov 21, 2007)

I have to admit....I was worried at first but once you've managed it once (in hospital loos!) you have no problem.....once you've given your 2/3/4 sample you just become a bit blase about the whole thing too! I'm sure that's not a good thing but you no longer worry about it.


----------



## maybe-if (Aug 1, 2007)

My DH has a PSP which is small, portable and can play video clips on it. He'd also stuck some err.. *cough* photographs of me on there as well which helped apparently... Some of the magazines in our clinic were a bit odd, not to say well used!   So it's definitely a good idea to take your own stuff.


----------



## samy1981 (Feb 17, 2009)

It's not a nice thing to do but it does depend on the hospital/clinic. Also the worry of actually giving the sample and the thought of how much will i produce isn't nice, especially when you hand the pot over afterwards and it's in a clear bag for all to see!! 

1st sample given was at a clinic where they had proper rooms, a TV with smut on it (not that i used it) and they let my wife come in with me (definatly helped). they also used brown envelopes for you to put the sample pot in and a drop off window where no one was standing (you just rang the bell).

2nd sample, was at a hospital. We were told that if we couldn't get there in 1 hour we'd have to produce the sample on site. So i booked the room (as requested) only to find out when i got there it was the disabled toilet!! Wife didn't come in with me this time and it was a little traumatic, but for the greater cause I closed my eyes and eventually got the job done. They used clear plastic bags to put the sample pot in and you had to walk the emtire lenght of the hospital and up 5 floors where you hand it over to a lady in a small room. Not the nicest of experiences but i'm sure i'll have worse in the years to come.

Hope your DH gets somewhere remotely nice to produce his sample.


----------



## Downbut hopefully (Jun 1, 2009)

Well, it is very embarrassing I know. With me I was gone a long time when giving my test sample....

The sample room in our cliic was fine although being introduced to the three female nurses on the way to the sample room and being told to give them your sample on the way back was a bit traumatic. Until you realise they see it several times a day, everyday.

Second time around I went with a few ummm naughty photos of my DP - worked for me


----------



## Loki (Jun 21, 2007)

Was quite horrible when I had to give my sample: well-thumbed magazines in a small, pokey room seems to be the norm.

I wasn't looking forwards to having to do it a 2nd time so I took charge: Loaded up the video iPod with some filth and it was a far better experience. 

I guess the lesson to learn is - make yourself as comfortable as you can in your surroundings, the staff are sympathetic so don't get worked up.


----------

