# Feeling deflated



## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

Hi All,
So we had our first disappointment in the world of linking today, first loss in a competitive linking process. We think that the process is all competitive in our area. Ho hum, wait continues, just a bit gutted cause this was our first possibility that our sw put us forward for since approval 3.5 mths ago.  Just wondering how many times people lost out before they were successfully linked?

TillyT


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

.  
We were matched with the one and only child we got info for after nearly 11 months waiting.  Our la only give you details of a child once the sw think it is a good match so by the time we got to hear about lo, her sw had agreed we were the right match.  It is swings and roundabouts because it meant certainty for us once we got a link, but the 11 months we waited were extremely hard because we didn't get information about any children during that time other than sparse details to see if it was something we would consider.  The waiting game is so hard, but it is so worth the wait when you find the perfect match for you.  Good luck


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi Tilly


So sorry to hear that you didn't get a match. Competative matching is so hard.  
We lost out on a competative match (sibling group) before we were linked with our son.  
To be honest even now I still wonder how they are   .  We asked for feedback to why their sw went with the other couple, but all we got was she had a feeling the other couple were a better match.


Our son was a competitive match too. It was us and two other couples. Just so thankful it went our way that time. It's was weird the 2nd time as I knew what the other couples would feel like not getting  chosen and did feel guilty for a few days.


Good luck, your little one is out there somewhere just waiting for you xx


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## TillyT (Dec 5, 2011)

We don't know anything about the baby/child/sibling group that we've missed out on, to be honest that's probably not a bad thing. We don't know how many people we were up against either- asked for feedback not that sure we'll get any that will help, at the end of the day I suppose the other PAR just met the needs better.

Trying to keep strong and keep the faith!   

Thanks for all the thoughts guys xx


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## Marley49 (Mar 4, 2013)

Hey!

We lost out on a competitive match straight after our panel, we then got two days before a linking panel and that also fell through. After nearly a year we are matched again but it's hard not to feel as though it's all going to go wrong.

Stay strong, it's a horrible feeling. X


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## Nicola30 (Jun 13, 2011)

So sorry to hear this Tilly, we are currently in a competitive match with 2 other couples for a baby blue. I can only imagine how you must be feeling, every day I look at mines photo and wonder what he is up to, I think of him as mine already 😕


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## dandlebean (Feb 24, 2013)

Our first link fell through, which was really hard, as his family finder made out we were the only ones and that she was really excited about finding us. We'd had all his info and really felt he was the one for us. FF was meant to be coming with SW and they called just 30 mins before the meeting to say they'd found another family. 

Our next link for a sibling group was also competitive and this time I refused to get my hopes up, even convinced myself at one point that I didn't want the kids because I was so scared of feeling disappointed/hurt again! But we were chosen and my two lovely children are currently napping upstairs   It was really upsetting to lose out on the first LO but I'm so, so glad it all turned out as it did. I can't imagine life without my two little beans now! x


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

We are at the early stages of a possible match too and we know there is another couple being considered - its a mixture of emotions.  We want LO so much but also know that one of us will be disappointed


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