# I'm new and really, really need a friend!



## miawallace (Sep 29, 2008)

Hi there-I'm new to this site, and my main reason for coming on here is to make a friend or two (even better if you live in Northern Ireland, but anywhere will do-I'm not fussy!).
I've actually been re-directed here-I made the mistake of posting in the UK section of the forum-it gets confusing around here!
My partner and I have been trying for our first baby for 7 years, and we were all set to start IUI in July when we heard the hospital's waiting lists are at least 6 months behind.
I know another 6 months is nothing compared with 7 years, but having geared myself up for it, it tipped the scale and I have become very depressed again.
It hasn't helped that there have been three new babies in my boyfriend's immediate family in the last week!
I shan't go into too many details now, but I feel so guilty at feeling really jealous and not wanting to go and see them.
It's one of the reasons I've become so down recently-it tears me in two to be so mean to my boyfriend, as he's extremely close to his family, and is so happy at becoming an uncle again.
But I just can't face new babies until I know whats happening with our situation-the thought of being childless is the thing that scares me the most.
Anyway, enough about me for now!
I have so many things I want to chat about to people. that one post can't possibly contain it all!
Thanks for listening, and I really hope I can find a couple of people to chat nonsense to, in order to have someone else that understands all the things I feel.


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## lia.g (Aug 3, 2008)

Hi Miawallace, welcome to FF 

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low at the moment   

You've certainly come to the right place if you're looking for support with your treatment journey.  Why not come over to the NI GIRLS thread.  There's a great bunch of girls posting on it at the moment, all at different stages with their treatment and all with different experiences.  You'll get lots of support and even a wee laugh along the way.  It can be quiet at weekends but picks up through the week.

Lia xo


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## glitter girl (Jun 24, 2007)

Hi Miawallace,

Just wanted to welcome you to F.F and as Lia said why dont you join the rest of us girls over on the NI thread, You are not alone in having them feelings, think we have all been there at some stage or another. Look forward to chatting to you


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## emak (Jan 21, 2008)

Hi Mia
Welcome to FF ,this is a great place for help,support and a wee bit of craic thrown in for good measure .Sorry to hear your feeling so low at the moment IF sucks!!! I also have 2 sister in laws pg one due at Christmas and the other in Feburary and i do find it difficult sometimes espically the pg announments.As Glitter and Lia have both said come over to the main NI thread there is quite a few of us having different tx etc AND loads of us just waiting for tx like yourself(never ending waiting lists).
Chat soon 
Emma


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## Cate1976 (Oct 29, 2007)

Mia: Weocome to FF. I can understand you finding the births in your BF's (boyfriend's) family so hard. My cousin got married 2 weeks after DH and I, he and his wife have 2 kids, my sister has 2 LO's as well. Loads of mine and DH's friends at church have had babies since we started ttc. We got married April 04 and since Feb 05 (earliest we could have had a LO born), there's been 15 babies born to church family although some of the families have moved elsewhere. IF does get you down very easily, I've been in tears to one of my really good friends from church a couple of times. I've said to all the parents that I'm pleased for them but wish I could be among them and I know that makes me sound jealous but I'm sorry. They've all said it's not being jealous but understandable. As for waiting lists I can understand your frustration there, I should have got my letter of offer back in July, got it 9 days ago due to combination of Western Board reducing number of cycles from 7 a month down to 3/4 month and lack of embryologists at RFC (Regional Fertility Centre). If you come to the NI girls part 4 thread, you'll find a really supportive group of people and we do have some serious craic as well. My good freind gave me 2 pieces of advice alst year after the IF hit me, the first was to find something positive to focus on, took me a couple of days but I came up with a few. The second was that I needed to find a way through it. He was right on both. For me the way through the tough times has been laying down with worship music on. I sometimes write poems/prayers about my thoughts/feelings, all the ones I've written are online, click on the 'globe' under my profile pic. The ones about feelings to do with IF are Infertility one year on and When Tears Fall.


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## miawallace (Sep 29, 2008)

Thanks everyone! I had a bit of a mental breakdown last night  , after coming back and seeing the new twins at hospital (boyfriend's sister's)-and finally told my gorgeous partner how I felt.
I hadn't really talked to him about the jealousy thing before, becuase it sounds so mean not being happy for his own fammily-like I have something against them or something.
We had a good chat about it, and I feel surprisingly good again today.
He also told me that I need to find something positive to look foward to, as getting stressed will affect our chances of conceiving.
I just had it stuck in my mind that IUI wasn't going to be a success, and if we only get the one chance at IVF (as we won't be able to afford to go privately), the chances of us having a baby are very small.
I suppose I have to force my brain to think that it will definitely happen for us.
I am going to Aberdeen on Thursday to watch The Hoosiers (my favourite band) at a gig, and then going to visit my mum in England for ten days-and another Hoosiers' gig at Brixton!
My boyfriend and I are also going to Munich when I get back for a few days, which will be a good break for us both.
It's Christmas that I always find hardest-people without children always seem redundant at this time of the year!
Thanks again, and I shall go on over to NI girls too-maybe I'll even find someone locally to meet up with for coffee at some point!
(I'm in Dungannon, by the way).


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## happyness (Oct 12, 2008)

hi im new just found out i ave pcos, im so soz to c ur feelin low if u need a friend to chat to im hear 4 u im from n ireland sending u  and love xxx


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## holly01 (Feb 10, 2007)

hi happiness.come on over to n ireland thread


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## happyness (Oct 12, 2008)

hi how do u get to it? xxx


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## betty-77 (Mar 13, 2008)

Hi girls nice to meet you both 

Link to main NI board below - if i've done it right ?? 

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=156640.0

Chat soon

Betty xx


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## happyness (Oct 12, 2008)

hey thanks ive sent a msg in already hehe its bit confusin tring to get used to usin this computer   xxx


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## betty-77 (Mar 13, 2008)

hi miawallace and anyone else interested,

i love the idea of a coffee meet but dungannon nowhere near me (wouldn't even know how to get there   )  would Lisburn / Belfast / Antrim be of interest to you??

Betty xx


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## miawallace (Sep 29, 2008)

Meeting up sounds great-I'm going to be pretty busy for a while, though, so may have to wait until the next coffee meeting!
I used to work for a very short while at TACT, by they way Betty-I believe you wouldn't be far from it.
I'm a bit of an animal nut!


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## betty-77 (Mar 13, 2008)

Hi Miawallace,

Yes i live very near to TACT - have been there once when we rescued a wee bird with a broken wing!!  

Betty xx


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