# Considering donor IVF???



## Debbieon (Jan 15, 2008)

I'm in a real dilema!!!

I've gone through tests and planned on having IVF with my husband but as the reality of IVF has approached, he's suddenly announced that he feels very 'unsettled' about it and is leaving me!!

All sorts of thoughts are going through my mind at the moment and I can't understand why he's leaving when we've been so happy for so many years. He can't seem to understand why he's feeling this way and I'm desperate to make him see that he could be making a huge mistake!

In the meantime however, I'm considering my future and the big question is would I consider donor IVF

I'm 38 and am torn! Maybe my husband will see sense but maybe he won't and the way I feel at the moment, I'm not entirely sure that I'll meet someone new in the next couple of years or so in which case, a donor may be my only option.

Has anyone faced the same dilema??


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## podbean (Jan 16, 2008)

Gosh Debbie, I'm not sure what to say. 
Has your DH settled down yet?  I think IVF can magnify "issues" in relationships and cause people to say stuff in the heat of the moment.  And men often commit, run away, re-commit, run away - well according to Mars and Venus!  
I think you need to look at what you want in the first place.  Are you happy to raise a child alone?  There's a lady called Daizy on another board who had a child at 47 and is single and loving it.  She may be able to give you an insight into going it alone, if that's what happens, which sounds unlikely if you've been together for years and very happy.  
I am sorry that you going through this turmoil on top of the treatment. 
If it were me I like to think that I'd look at what I could be responsible for and control and look at what opened up from there.  Whether I would do that however, in practise, is another topic entirely.
Podbean
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