# books worth reading



## Lou W

Hello everyone!

Following on from our conversations previously about good children's books to read to them....

I thought I would start this thread and keep all the recommendations in one place that's easy to find.

Also I went to a miniIQ party and ordered some books. I just got them today and I have to say they are fabulous!!!!

There is:

Our Twitchy by Kes Gray and Mary McQuillan
This is brilliant and so perfect for us all! Its about a little bunnie who never realised his mummy and daddy weren't also bunnies. It explains that although they're not his bunnymummy and bunnydaddy he is still theirs because they love him and care for him.

Ed's day out by Bonnie Timmons
This is about a bird called ed who wants to make new friends but feels different to everyone else. He then finds his own special talent and learns its what on the inside that counts.

the other two i got are part of a series... there is

All kinds of homes by Emma Damon 
which talks about different kinds of homes around the world etc which I thought was good as a lot of our children-to-be may have moved around. 
and 
All kinds of bodies by Emma Brownjohn 
Talks about different body types, fat/thin/long/short etc and ends by saying that every body is beautiful - I thought this would be a great confidence booster.

There are more I will get along the way, but these really are very good. I especially reccomend the 'Our Twitchy' book, I couldn't believe how perfect it was.

I hope that others will add to this thread and we can build up a really good list of useful reading - for adults too if you want!

Love,
Lou W xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Suzie

thanks lou! Great idea 

xx


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## superal

What a brilliant idea, I wish I knew about these books when our 2 were a little bit younger, although DD is still young, I might invest in Our Twitchy.

Thanks
Love
Andrea
xx


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## Lou W

andrea hunnie,
i think from your signature your littlest is about 4/5? i would be more than happy to read this book to a child of that age - in fact id say its perfect. I thought how nice it was for them to have a book that was so relevant to their life.
Lou xxxxxxxxxxx


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## superal

Hi Lou

Thanks for your message, DS is now 13 & DD is 5 years 6 months! (where has my baby gone?)

It's on my to get list when I go shopping!!

Love
Andrea
xx


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## Suzie

lou this is great thread as i work in our main city library and i looked at the section about children in care and adoption fostering etc and they werent many books and the ones we had were quite old! 
so i found out which librarian is responsible for that classification number and luckily its someone i know quite well, i spoke to him and he said if i can write a list of up to about 50 books , he has the budget and will purchase them!  
which is fantastic 

so any suggestions gratefully recieved 

x


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## Lou W

Thats brilliant Suzie - I have a few more to recommend so will add them later!

Come on others we know you've got some good suggestions!!

Lou xxx


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## Lou W

Right here we are found it...

when we first started to look into adoption we ordered this one from the BAAF website and it was brilliant. A real informative book.

It is Adopting a child by Jenifer Lord, a guide for people interested in adoption

Can't recommend it enough!

Lou xxx

PS now we all need to get round to Suzie's work and read up!!


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## Suzie

or you can all do an ILL (inter library loan ) at your local library and get them sent to you for a couple of quid 

my sw gave me one of her books to read its called :

A childs journey through placement by Vera Fahlberg BAAF 1994
Its really informative , a heavy read but lots of info in it 

x


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## KarenM

These are my recommendations:

The Adoption Experience by Ann Morris

Talking about adoption to your adopted Child - BAAF Book by Marjorie Morrison
http://www.baaf.org.uk/res/pubs/books/book_talkaboutadopt.shtml

Nutmeg gets Adopted - BAAF Book by Judith Foxon
http://www.baaf.org.uk/res/pubs/books/book_nutmegadopt.shtml

Happy reading book worms!!

Karen x


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## Boomerang girl

I couldn't find the paper copy but my sw just emailed me their recommended list- I'm sure they won't mind me pasting it in here!!


A Child’s Journey Through Placement
A theoretical and practical guide to understanding the issues in adoption placement 
Vera Fahlberg
BAAF 1994

Adopting A Child
A guide for people interested in adoption
Jennifer Lord
BAAF 2002 (6th edition)
ISBN 1 903699 06 1

Adopted Children Speaking
Caroline Thomas and Verna Beckford with Nigel Lowe and Mervyn Murch
BAAF1999
ISBN 1 873868 78 2

The Adoption Experience – Families who give children a second chance
Ann Morris
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
JKP 1999
Available from BAAF
ISBN 1-85302-783-9

The Adopter’s Handbook: Information, Resources and Services for Adoptive Parents
Amy Neil Slater revised by Jenny Lord
BAAF 2004

Adopting the Hurt Child
Greg Keck and Regina Kupecky
1995 Pinon Press; Colorado Springs (CO)

Adopters on Adoption – Reflections on parenthood and children
David Howe
BAAF 1996
ISBN 1-873868-32-4

The Adoption Papers (Poetry collection)
Jackie Kay
Bloodaxe Books 1991

The Adoption Reader
Edited By S Wadia-Ellis
Birth Mothers, Adoptive Mothers And Adopted Daughters Tell Their Stories
Seal Press
ISBN 1-878067-65-6

Adoption, Search and Reunion – the long term experience of adopted adults
David Howe and Julia Feast
BAAF 2004


Adoption with Contact
Joan Fratter
BAAF 1996
ISBN1 873868 37 5

Approaching Fatherhood: A guide for adoptive dads and others
Paul May
BAAF 2005

Attachment Theory, Child Maltreatment And Family Support
David Howe, Marian Brandon, Diana Hinings And Gillian Scholfield
Palgrave 
0-333-74978-2

Attachment, Trauma and Resilience
Kate Cairns
BAAF 2002
ISBN 1 903699 10 X

Blue Eyed Son: the Story of an Adoption
Nicky Campbell
Macmillan 2004 (due out in paperback in 2005).

Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening love in deeply troubled children
Daniel Hughes
Rowman and Littlefield 1999

Children exposed to parental substance misuse
Edited by Rena Phillips
BAAF 2004
ISBN 1 903699 27 4

Contact in adoption and permanent foster care
Edited by Elspeth Neil and David Howe
BAAF 2004
ISBN 1 903699 60 6









First steps in Parenting the Child who Hurts
Caroline Archer
Jessica Kingsley Publishers for Adoption UK
JKP 1999
Available from BAAF
ISBN 1 85302 801 0

Half A Million Women – mothers who lose their children by adoption
Howe, Hinings And Sawbridge
Penguin 1992
Available from Post Adoption Centre
020 7284 0555
ISBN 0-436-19155-5

Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss
Claudia Jewett
Batsford / BAAF 1995 (2nd edition)

How to Talk so that Kids Will Listen and Listen so that Kids Will Talk
Faber & Mazlish
Piccadilly Press (UK) 1999

Lesbian and Gay Fostering and Adoption
Edited by Hicks and McDermott
Jessica Kingsley Publishers
JKP 1998
Available from BAAF
ISBN 1 85302 600 X

Letter to Louise
Pauline Collins
Harper Collins 1992

Life Story Work
Tony Ryan and Rodger Walker
BAAF 1999 (2nd edition)
ISBN 1 873868 10 3




Love Child – a Memoir of Adoption and Reunion
Sue Elliott
Vermilion 2005
ISBN 0091 901 790

The Long Awaited Stork – A guide to parenting after infertility
Ellen Sarashon Glazer
Lexington Books
ISBN 0-02-911814-X

Loving and Living with Traumatised Children
Megan Hirst
BAAF 2005
ISBN 1 903699 67 3

Making Sense of Adoption – A Parents Guide
Louis Ruskai Melina
ISBN 0-06-096319-0

Next Steps in Parenting the Child who Hurts – Tykes And Teens
Caroline Archer
Published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers for Adoption UK
JKP 1999
Available from BAAF
ISBN 1 85302 802 9

Nobody Ever Told Us School Mattered
Sonia Jackson 
(BAAF) 2001
ISBN 1 873868 98 7

Parenting the Hurt Child, Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
Greg Keck and Regina Kupecky
Navpress (UK) 2002 

Parenting with Love and Logic
F.W. Cline
Navpress



Patterns Of Adoption
David Howe
Blackwell

The Primal Wound – Understanding the Adopted Child
Nancy Newton-Verrier
ISBN 0-963364-80-1 Gateway

Raising Adopted Children – Practical advice for every adoptive parent
Louis Ruskai Melina
ISBN 0-06-095717-4

Real Parents, Real Children
Holly Van Gulden & Lisa Bartels-Rabb
Crossroads publishing co. (USA) 1995
Available from BAAF
ISBN 08245-1514-5

Related by adoption; A handbook for grandparents and other relatives
Heidi Argent
BAAF 2004
ISBN 1 903699 39 8

Safe Contact
Catherine Macaskill
Russell House Publishing 2002
Available from BAAF
ISBN 1 903855 09 8

Staying Connected: Managing contact in adoption
Edited by Heidi Argent
BAAF 2002
ISBN 1 903699 12 6

Talking About Adoption to your Adopted Child
Marjorie Morrison
BAAF 2004


When Love is not Enough – a guide to parenting children with reactive attachment disorder
Nancy Thomas
Families by Design 1997
Available from Post Adoption Centre
020 7284 0555

Where to Find Adoption Records: a guide for counsellors
Compiled by Georgina Stafford
BAAF 2001


Books for Children

Adoption Is For Always
Linda Walvoord Girard (Us)
ISBN 0-8075-0187-5 
(Suitable for school age children)

Big Panda, Little Panda
Joan Stimson
ISBN 0-590-55423-9 (Suitable When Adopting A Younger Sibling Into The Family)

Bye Bye Baby
Janet And Allan Ahlberg
(About a baby looking for a mum and dad)
ISBN 0-7497-0624-4

Chester And Daisy Move On
A story about two bear cubs who are adopted
Angela Lidster
BAAF
ISBN 1-873868-19-7

Horace
Holly Keller
(About a leopard adopted by tiger parents)
ISBN 0-688-11844-5


How I Was Adopted
Joanna Cole
Mulberry Books
ISBN 0-688-17055-2

Lets Talk About It: Adoption
Fred Rogers
ISBN 0-698-11625-9 
(Suitable For School Age Children)

Nutmeg Gets Adopted
Judith Foxon
Explores The Reasons Why Children Are Adopted
BAAF 2001
ISBN 1-873868-99-5

Nutmeg Gets a Letter
Judith Foxon
BAAF 2003
ISBN 1 903699 44 4

When the Teddy Bears Came
A new baby arrives in the family
Martin Waddell
Walker Books Ltd 1996

Why Was I Adopted?
Carole Livingstone
Angus And Roberts
ISBN 0-207-14404-4


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## saphy75

OMG !!!! I can't believe how many books are on that list   i have 2 of them that i bought direct from baaf as my bookstore hasn't got a single book on adoption  

pam xx


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## Boomerang girl

yes and as a good prospective adopter I have read them all cover to cover!!!  not. 

I have read five, and my swis kindly bringing me somemore to borrow next week. I thought this might be helpful for your library purchase olive


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## Jo

Great thread 
I have just brought 5 of the books off that list off amazon 

Looking forward to getting them now

love Jo
x x x


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## Mummyof2

The books I have personally read and thoroughly recommend are:-

Love Child a Memoir of adoption, Reunion, Loss and Love by Sue Elliott 
and  
Blue-Eyed Son by NICKY CAMPBELL
and 
Relative Strangers: A History of Adoption and a Tale of Triplets by
Hunter Davies

All an excellent read and gives a personal insight into adoption from the adoptees point of view.

I also read The Adoption Experience – Families who give children a second chance by
Ann Morris but I found it depressing, although informative.

I also read all the Dave Pelser books about child abuse/neglect - A Child Called "IT",  The Lost Boy, A Man Named Dave,  Help Yourself, The Privilege of Youth and Help Yourself for Teens.  I would recommend them - riveting stuff and gives you the perspective of the person who was abused and tells you how this person managed to move on in his life, eventually.

All the best

Jennifer


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## Boomerang girl

I'm really getting stuck into "Achild's journey through placement" from the top of the list- my SW has leant me her copy. Its supposed to be more of a textbook for sw's, but to be honest its probably one of the most factual and "ideas based" books I have read.


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## wynnster

I've just seen on Ebay someone is selling 3 of the Nutmeg books.
Nutmeg gets adopted / Nutmeg gets cross and Nutmeg gets a letter.

Just thought i'd post it here incase anyone was interested


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## Lou W

During our fostering preparation course we were given the following reccomended reading list:

Fostering Placements, Why They Succeed and They Fail
Ian Sinclair et al (2005)

Adoption and Fostering
Caroline Thomas and Nigel Thomas (2005)

Growing up in Foster Care
Gillian Schofield et al (2000)

Promoting Resilience
Robbie Gilligan (2001)

Black Children in the Public Care System
R Barn (1993)

A Life More Ordinary: What Children Want From Foster Placements
I Sinclair (2001)

Variations in Behavioural Ratings of Children who have been in Care
J Lambert et al (1977)

Providing a Secure Base in Long Term Foster Care
M Beek and G Schofield (2004)

Going Home: The Return of Children Separated from Their Families
R Bullock et al (1993)

Sexually Abused and Abusing Children in Substitute Care
E Farmer and S Pollock (199

Growing up in Care
J Hunt (2001)

Lou xxxxxxxxx


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## Boomerang girl

not quite an adoption or fostering book, but I realised I will be a bit out of the loop on exactly where strawberry is up to, and also I wanted to get a book on potty training, and toddler tantrums, the list goes on... I found a book that has it all- What to expect- the toddler years. by the people who do what to expect when you are expecting (and I did sit in ottakers and have a good read of the gina ford potty training book too!!)


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## keemjay

I've just finished reading Love Child by Sue Elliott, and just wanted to recommend it. its part biography (her experience of being adopted and her reunion with her mother) and part adoption history, charting the way adoption has changed over the last 100 years or so. its easy to read and really interesting and really gives you a sense of the issues surrounding adoption from an adopteees viewpoint

kj x

anyone else feel like doing a sort of book 'review' of any good books they've read?

ps I've been getting most of my reading from the library rather than buying  if your local library dont have them they can often order them in for a small fee (80p i think it was!)


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## Boomerang girl

there is a new book out called adoption diary- a journey from fertility to parenthood? i think thats it- by Maira James. I am reviewing it for my LA newsletter at the mo, will let you know how it is. (its a BAAF publication)


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## keemjay

I've just read 'blue eyed son' about nicky campbells adoption story. Its a fab read..really goes into the details of what its like meeting birth parents and the feelings it brings up...loyalty to the adoptive family yet desperation to find somebody who shares your genes..how it feels to meet someone who has facial features like you or to find pictures of the wider birth family and see family resemblances...also how it feels when they dont feel any connection and the guilt that brings....
its written really well, I really felt like i understood more of what issues lie waaaaay in the future for my adopted child/children. these days children will know alot more info alot earlier on but i think the feelings/issues will be very much the same..
I couldnt put it down. Dh is really enjoying it now too 
highly recommend it
kj x


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## casey

jUST READ THE PRIMAL WOUND -  feel totally depressed     I know adoption is not an easy option but is it really going to be such an ordeal


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## GuitarAngel1979

Hi Ladies,

I do not have any books on adoption just yet. But thought I would ask if there is anyone out there willing to lend adoption books to those repsonsible enough to return them?  (before I spend a fortune on books. Our library doesn't have a great deal that was interested in) I would like to read Blue Eyed Son....perhaps I shall check ebay! ooh ebay..I love ebay







UPDATE: And, just like that, I won it on ebay for £2.20  hehe

PM if you are willing!


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## saphy75

Hi Guitar angel, i have got a copy of blue eyed son that i am reading but you are welcome to borrow it when i have finished (should be done by the end of next week at the most)  send me a pm with your address if you are interested  

pam xx


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## GuitarAngel1979

saphy75 said:


> Hi Guitar angel, i have got a copy of blue eyed son that i am reading but you are welcome to borrow it when i have finished (should be done by the end of next week at the most) send me a pm with your address if you are interested
> 
> pam xx


sent you a PM pam


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## thespouses

Does anyone have any recommendations of audio books that are relevant? Husband really is not a reader but has a long train journey and he does tend to listen to things on his phone.


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## BunBun

If anyone wants to borrow Love Child by Sue Elliott I'm more than happy to post it out to you.


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## Jigsaw

I have recently read the Adoption Diary by Maria James.  I found it a great read and as a south east girl myself it was nice to read of the journey that is local.

Also was recommended a good read today by a natural mother but it does help deal with some problems and it is funny (always helps).  Toddler Training by Dr Chris Green. 

Jen


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## ♥ M J ♥

BunBun said:


> If anyone wants to borrow Love Child by Sue Elliott I'm more than happy to post it out to you.


Have Pmed you about this

xx


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## BunBun

M J said:


> BunBun said:
> 
> 
> 
> If anyone wants to borrow Love Child by Sue Elliott I'm more than happy to post it out to you.
> 
> 
> 
> Have Pmed you about this
> 
> Posting for you today.
> 
> xx
Click to expand...


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## islainireland

Has anyone read "Digging to America" by Anne Tyler? I am a huge fan of Anne Tyler's writing and just automatically bought this latest book of hers without reading the blurb on the back. It turns out to be about 2 couples who adopt little girls from Korea. Have only just started reading the book so not sure, yet, which angle the author is taking.


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## ClaryRose

2 books I would recommend are 'The Primal Wound' and 'Journey of the Adopted Self'


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## Chocolate Button

Hi I was just wondering if anyone could suggest any books that I could buy my Mum and my Gran for christmas. We will be starting the adoption process and I would like to help them be more involved. During our if tx we often looked to them for support and as much as they tried it was difficult or them to understand all that was going on. I thought that perhaps getting them some books would be helpful and make them feel part of our journey. I hope that some of you can sugest any books that may be suitable. I don't want to give tham a book of factual info, but maybe a personal story/journey.
Anything you can think of would be helpful.
XXXXX


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## Chedza

Hi
Just wondered  if anyone would mind  either emailing me on this thread , or  PM -ing me  about some books I can order that may help my DH think about adoption as a viable option for us both. As you can see from my signature, this may be somewhere down the line yet , but he is SOOO negative and thinks that all adoptees leave their adoptive  parents..........etc etc........want to convince him that there  are positive stories out there. His other issue is that because a child may not be biologically his , he wont love him/her.......and i  know that he would make a great dad , whatever. We are a mixed race couple.............not sure that that information is relelvant but ANY books would be helpful. Thanks Chedza


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## CAREbear1

I also bought a nice book called 'A Blessing from above' Its about a kangeroo with an empty pouch and a bird from a crowded nest falls in. It may be a bit twee for some, but I really liked it, as I could really identify with the kangeroo who wanted a baby in her pouch!!    
BTW it would be suitable for a young child to help explain


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## Banana Girl

Hi can anyone recommend some good children's books, suitable for a pre-schooler, about adopting a sibling.

I can find books aimed at adopted children, but finding it hard tracking down books for a prospective adoptive sibling.
Especially a book where the adopted child isn't a baby - the only ones I have found are about babies and we are probably going for a similar aged child.

Any help?
x


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## Iman

ooh i like this thread

Have just ordered from Amazon and received:

The Primal Wound - starting reading already, heavy going and demanding but wow....good book
What to Expect When You're Adopting - Dr Ian Palmer

and children's books:

'I wished for you' - which is about a mummy bear and baby bear and she wished and wished and he was her wish come true. Defy you to read that a not get a little tear in your eye!! Also some very positive messages in it

'We are Adopted' - about all diff children, cultures and basic message of everyone is different but its great to be you. Really promotes diversity - especially good I think if you are in mixed-race couple like me.

'My New Family: A first look at adoption' 

BTW money saving tip - apart from the children's books, everything I ever buy off Amazon I buy second-hand with a rating of ' like new' or 'very good'  - you save sooooooo much money! and I have never had a bad condition book turn up, most of them despite being second-hand are absolutely pristine! try it


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