# Lesbians Using Donor Sperm



## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

Can't find the thread now, but a couple of months ago we discussed an IM I'd had from Mable on the 'Lesbians Using Donor Sperm' thread wherein she'd asked about making the board more 'visible'.  No decision was made as such as to what to do, so I assume it's a no go really to set up another board dedicated to Lesbian use.  I personally don't really feel it's necessary right now - although think on the last thread I may have thought it would be okay as there seemed to be a need for it.  The thread was taking off more then though, so it probably felt more needed. 

Anyway, the discussion is raising it's head now on the Lesbian thread, and if there are no objections, I think I will just post for now saying that we had discussed it, but it was felt that currently things would stay as they are with the Lesbian thread remaining as a solo thread under the Donor Eggs/Sperm board and that no separate board would be created - or something along those lines.  After all, the thread fits perfectly under the donor board as they are using donor sperm and that is used regardless of sexuality, so I personally don't feel there needs to be a new board just because they are lesbian.  Where will it end?  What if we have homosexual males join who want children and are using donor eggs and a surrogate - do we create them a board? 

If I don't post something soon, I will only get IM'd, they will ask me to respond on the thread anyway, and it'll be difficult to know what to say when as a team we've not reached any decision.  So will just put something there now if that's okay with everyone?  Let me know if not.  I will wait until tomorrow to do anything to give you guys a chance to respond if you want to. 

Jayne x


----------



## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

So the options are:...... 

a) Stay where they are - very simple for me to do
b) Create a new board - pink friends? - very simple for me to do
c) Provide a message board system for the lesbian/gay community - very simple for me to do

a) I agree with your thoughts that they fit well in the donor section... but... they are beginning to grow as a group and I feel that it may soon make others(non gay) feel a little like they shouldnt be there.

b) Simple to do - however the board could get overrun as others join from other sites - there are a couple of large msn groups for lesbians and I worry that the message board could be over run and we suffer from the same issue as I raised in point a.

c) While simple to do - I feel it would need them as moderators as  they understand the emotive/psycho social issues. If we did have a second message board for them then it would be completely empty and they would need to start again - also I would look to them in the future to cover costs should it get as big as FF. 


Your thoughts?

Tony,
x


----------



## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

My thoughts are that if anything, then C would be the way to go.  However, I don't feel it's necessary right now.  

If you did want to do C now, then maybe it's worth sussing the girls out - particularly on the paying for it if it becomes too large a community (which I think it will very quickly) - by posting this as a possibility on the thread and see what they say.  

Jayne x


----------



## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

Yeah -  but if you post on the thread then reiterate that your not suggesting this as a form of segregation - and really.... its there call as to what they want.

Although we do have to be careful here - because regular couples may get concerned that charter money is being spent on assisted conception issues rather than infertile support.


----------



## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

So would we say it's their call as to whether they want to stay as the thread they are or have a separate message board? Are we completely omitting the 'pink' board from the main site as an idea altogether? If we are, what explanation do we provide if they ask why they can't just do this? Ultimately, to create a separate message board for them, is segregation (if we don't offer them the option of having a 'pink' board) so I feel we could hit tricky waters if we try to say it isn't.



Tony said:


> Although we do have to be careful here - because regular couples may get concerned that charter money is being spent on assisted conception issues rather than infertile support.


True to an extent. But there are at least 2 ladies on the thread who have PCOS and are taking Metformin/Clomid, and several of the couples are also having IVF or ICSI to ttc, not just doing DI at home or DIUI at a clinic. I imagine that a lot of these ladies come accross this site because they themselves are having problems ttc - yep, they started out the 'lesbian' way, but it hasn't worked and now they realise they have fertility issues, so regardless of if they were with a woman or a man they would need help in ttc. I think that the mamority of these women, if they didn't have IF stuff going on over and above ttc without a partner of the opposite sex, then they would simply be looking for support in gay communities where people are ttc.


----------



## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

hmmm... thinking cap is on


----------



## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

Hmmm, mine too    

I think I'll just put a post on the thread for now to say that we are currently having a think    

Jayne x


----------



## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

The thing is also, if you charter members are concerned about donations going to assisted conception as opposed to infertility support, then what about the single ladies we have on the site who are ttc using a donor.  

We must be careful not to say that sexuality is the issue here.  If we say that all these women need to do is go sleep with a man to become pg, then that's dangerous ground, because ultimately a heterosexual woman who has no fertility problems, but whose partner has azoospermia (with sperm not even retrievable on an SSR) most likely only needs to go have sex at the right time of the month with a male who has a full healthy sperm count to conceive.  So are we saying that those heterosexual women on the site who are using donor sperm are having assisted conception or infertility support?  

It's a complicated issue to be politically correct with.  Possibly one reason why I suggested initially just leaving the thread as it is for now and seeing how it goes    Easy option, but not necessarily the best.  

Obviously needs more thought and not sure there is a perfect answer, but hopefully we can get something that is a happy medium for all.  

Jayne x


----------



## Anthony Reid (Jan 1, 2002)

Any further thoughts on this?

Tony,
x


----------



## Jayne (Jan 26, 2003)

I honestly don't know what to suggest for the best on this one, but I think it is a question we will be asked again soon, and we need to have some sort of answer.  

I don't see the harm in creating a lesbian/gay board.  I don't think it would become over run, but if it did, then it's a separate board anyway, and people can choose not to read it if they don't like it.  

Personally though, I don't think there's a need for this at the moment.  Not really sure why they need to be more visible anyway.  I don't feel their need is any greater than anyone elses, and surely anyone visiting the site who is lesbian and using donor sperm would find the thread now easily enough.  It wasn't so easy to find something a while ago as it wasn't there, but new members will see it now.  

Maybe I could just reply to Mabel's IM and say that we feel the thread is now visible on the donor board and that members will see it when they come to the site as they would naturally be drawn to the donor thread, and for the time being feel that the thread sits well within the donor board so will be leaving things as they are.  (Will word that a bit better though if we decide to go with that).  

Jayne x


----------

