# Am I too old???



## Princessmoo (Nov 26, 2011)

Hi my name is Nicky and I'm new to this site............. Here's a little info about me, I married the most fabulous man in July of this year, I'm 40 and he's 32  this is my second marriage following quite a difficult first one. I am lucky enough to have a son and 2 daughters age 19,16 & 15 but would dearly love to have a baby with my husband. Unfortunately I have just turned 40 and my man has a complex medical history.........we have been actively trying to fall pregnant since march but sadly no luck. I have been doing ovulation tests which show I am ovulating, we went to see our g.p and I've had 2lots of blood taken and my husband a sperm test and we are going back Monday for the results. I know we have only been trying 8 months but age isn't on my side. I am really anxious about what's ahead and have convinced myself I'm too old for any more babies  is there any advice anyone can give me? 

P.s I have been reading lots on here and everyone seems so supportive

Nicky xx


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## lisa_A (Feb 4, 2010)

Hi Nicky, ur in almost the same boat as I was. I am now 40, have 2 kids from ex ages 22 and 18. I met a younger man then me, he has no kids. We went through ivf etc and on our 5th go finally had twins. 

I love them dearly but the age gap is showing in our relationship, he s 33. If you do have a baby good luck I hope it works out well for you.

Xxxx


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## Princessmoo (Nov 26, 2011)

Hi Lisa thanks for your reply  I'm sorry to hear that you aren't having a great time at the moment but I am very sure i want to start again, although my husband is 8 years younger I often joke he is an old man in a young mans body   we have had many conversations and it is something we both want and each month when af arrives I am so disappointed so we are hoping that when we get our results next week we can then look forward to the next step

Keep smiling I am sure things will get better for you

Xxx


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## No1 rainbow princess (Aug 12, 2004)

Hi nicky n welcome to Ff, 
There are lots of people in similar situations and lotsa helpful advice on here, keeps me sane!
Good luck for your results, there are lots of ladies over 40 that are having babies... I hope u become one of them!
Have u had an amh test? The ovarian reserve one? Mines only 6 and I'm early 30's so age isn't always a clear indication, I get your concern though on time, with a low amh I just want to get on with it.
Anyhow, I think there's a thread for everything on here so if u have a look around u may find one that matches your situation n find those in a very similar situation.

Lisa a, your post sounds very sad! Hugs You've been through lots of tx to get your miracles n its sad your not enjoying them as much as you thought. Sorry if the support is not there for you, hopefully you will be in a brighter place soon. X


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## Princessmoo (Nov 26, 2011)

Hi Summer thanks for your reply.......
My age does worry me but on top of that my husband is on steroids and anti-rejection drugs following a kidney transplant and heart surgery so one of the downfalls of the medication is infertility  so just waiting on the results Monday to know what we do next. I just want a precious little bundle to hold and nurture and to give my husband the greatest gift you can give  

Nicky xxxxx


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## Wraakgodin (Jun 17, 2006)

to FF, Nicky!!! This is a great website for support, information, laughter and friendship, it has kept me (relatively!) sane though all my treatment. Have a good look round the site, post in whatever section you want and make yourself at home. There are so many sections here with a huge amount of information, so whatever you are going through there will be someone here to help you.

No, you aren't too old! We have a section for ladies trying to conceive over 40 CLICK HERE. One of the first posts is full of success stories to inspire us "oldies" (I am 40 as well).

I hope everything goes well today. Once you have the results of all the tests I can give you more links to parts of FF that can help you. But in the meantime here are a few general links you might be interested in.

Preparing for treatment/pregnancy (incorporating sub boards of complimentary, holistic & spiritual approaches and supplements & fertility friendly foods) ~ CLICK HERE 

The What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) thread will give you some info on how to navigate the site ~   CLICK HERE

We have a live chat room where you can meet other members, take part in themed chat events and gain a wealth of information from people who are or have been dealing with infertilty. New member chat is at 8pm on Wednesday, where we can introduce you to other members, show you around the chat room and help with any queries you may have both in the chat room and on the boards. Please take a look at the calendar and of course our Chat Zone: CLICK HERE

Please feel free to ask more questions here, or on any other part of the site, there will be wonderful helpful people there to give you lots of support, information and cyber hugs if you need it. We go through all the highs and lows together.

Sue


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## shepherdsocks (Nov 28, 2011)

Hi Nicky

I'm 40 next April and have been TTC for 2 and a half years since miscarrying our first child in March 2009 (concieved naturally after 7 months of trying but sadly, no heartbeat at 12 week scan).  I'd never tried to get pregnant before, so was already 'older' on my first attempts (but was sure there would be no problem).  

Having been through all the checks we were refered for fertility treatment on the NHS around 18 months ago.  I've just had my first cycle of IVF and I'm in the difficult TWW.

My advice would be, if you can afford it,  to get IVF treatment as soon as you can if possible.  When I first went for the checks (aged 3 my AMH was 23.6 which is a good result.  Six months later (after my 39th birthday) I was told it had dropped to 7, which meant low fertility.  I was very very shocked at this, but was told it's normal for your fertility to drop rapidly at any point over 36 (didn't feel normal to me!!).  Basically, what I'm saying is I spent all that time struggling with whether to go ahead with each stage of the process because I kept feeling as if I should be able to get pregnant naturally (I'm in really good health, young for my age, family for three generations all had babies in 40's etc).  Meanwhile, while I was being administered lots of less effective treatment, my fertility was dropping off a cliff!

After having 3 months of Clomid, 3 failed IUI's  they tested my ovarian reserve, found the dramatic drop, and refered us for IVF as a matter of urgency.  

If I'd had my time over again, I would have gone straight in for IVF at the beginning of the process when my AMH level was 3 times higher.  I feel as if that would have given me a better chance than I have now, with my depleted fertility.  I have other friends who've also been through the long process of checks and tests and treatments and also wish they'd gone private at the beginning.

I think at our age, whether we like it or not, time is against us.  The whole process has made me feel like I'm old all of a sudden, as before this I felt youthful, hopeful and fancy-free!  I think that's been caused by dragging it all out for so long and constantly getting told by doctors that your chances are low and getting lower!  In other words, I just think you should give it the best chance it can get, by not dragging out the process.

Other good things about going straight for IVF - you get a more definite picture, much sooner of what is ACTUALLY happening, not what statistically may or may not.  For example, you will get to know much sooner how many follicles you can produce, how many eggs are collected, how many fertilise etc.  These definite facts keep you going and feeling good, and in some sort of control.  Then its just the two week wait (that I'm in right now).

I'm sorry if this advice sounds harsh, as I'm truly aware of how anxious a time this is, I can only give you the benefit of my experience hopefully. Whatever you circumstances are,  I wish you luck on your journey.  Keep Smiling!

Wish me luck too - 6 days to go before my pregnancy test!! 

April


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## Princessmoo (Nov 26, 2011)

Hi April thank you for taking time out to post a reply, you are so right I wasn't feeling old until theses last few weeks I always thought I was young at heart lol   thank you for the good advice we are back to the gp on Monday and if the results aren't good we will probably forge ahead with ivf

Good luck with your test in 6 days I will keep my fingers crossed for you   
Let me know how it goes and once again thank you

Nicky xxxx


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## ekitten1 (Dec 18, 2009)

Hi princess moo.


I am sorry that your having no joy ttc naturally. You are not too old to be here at all. There are many ladies of similar age here and a LOT of success stories.


It may well be worth you having an AMH test done as others have said. To know know what your ovarian reserve is will save a lot of time and possibly a wasted first IVF attempt if you do go down that route.


I have a low AMH and at 38 years old and 2 failed IVF attempts have been told my eggs are like those of a 42/43 year olds   . We are now going down the donor egg route.


However, you are a long way from that yet and it may just be a case of you needing a little help.


My DP is also on a lot of medication and most clinics don't seem to take that into consideration. So long as a semen analysis comes back showing good results, the assumption is that he is ok. However, medication can cause fragmentation of the DNA in sperm and so before assuming it's an egg problem, it may be a good idea for your DH to go for a Sperm DNA Fragmentation test (they are around £350, which isn't cheap, but if it saves the cost of a failed IVF attempt, it's worth it), Luckily my DP's test came back good which means we can now pursue the donor egg route feeling more confident that we may just get a baby one day.


Good luck and I hope soon you will have your longed for baby xx


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## Princessmoo (Nov 26, 2011)

Hi ekitten1 thank you for your advice it was really helpful, I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rotten time and hope you also get that much wanted bundle of joy   
It's so hard to talk to people around me, with the exception of my dh because we seem to be surrounded by babies. 2 nephews age 18 months and 9 months, a niece age 3 months and our best friends baby girl is 8 weeks and I love them all dearly but it's hard at times  

Once again thanks for your advice we will definitely take it on board

Good luck with your journey
Nicky xxx


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## Suejane2 (Oct 31, 2011)

Hi Princess . . . . . . too old?  "No" is the one word answer . . but Shepherdsocks has articulated it so well. In the interests of keeping my response brief and to the point; get on with it! Don't think too much, don't plan to the nth degree; just start in a direction and let any investigations and results guide you as you go along. It is an imperfect journey but if you are hoping for results, the worst thing I think you can do is just think about it. Do something to start today! In a year, or two, or three, who knows, you could be holding a new bubs . . . . or 2 or 3!!!

Go for it . . . . . .  

Suejane
xxx


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## Princessmoo (Nov 26, 2011)

Hi Suejane
Thank you for your reply, everyone has been really helpful on here  
Congratulations on your expected little angel, enjoy your journey
I will try and push things forward when I go back to my gp on Monday 

Take care
Nicky xxx


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## sleepypenguin (Jan 1, 2009)

Princessmoo Since I had my first child I have met and made friends with several mummies 40+  I am one of the' young' ones (at 32). you really wouldn't know the difference between us all. Good luck.

x


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