# How long?



## binny (Apr 1, 2012)

Evening   ive just had failed icsi and know now would not be a good time to contact adoption officials, however how long do we have to wait before applying? Also I keep reading there is no upper age limit but looking at some of the stories on here it seems to take years to get matched and DH is 52. I am 37 so hoping for a young child as ive never been a mum and would really like to watch a child grow up but thinking they will prob want to give us an older child. Does anyone have any experience with this please? Thanks x x


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## Sq9 (Jan 15, 2013)

Hello binny,
Most agencies want you to wait 6 months after your last ivf cycle, but you can make initial enquiries during that time and do some research as to which agency suits you best.
My dh is 50 in november and i am 40 and we have been approved for a child up to 18 months.  As long as you are fit and healthy, most agencies aren't too bothered about your number. The whole process is really speeding up now, certainly for the approval stage, so hopefully waiting years will be a thing of the past.
Good luck with your journey


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## binny (Apr 1, 2012)

Thank you so much SQ9 you've given me hope after a dark week. Thank you and hope your family is complete very soon. Thank you x x


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## Barbados Girl (Jul 7, 2012)

So sorry to hear about your failed ICSI, Binni, that must be so upsetting for you.  

My husband is 46 this year and I am 32 and none of the agencies batted an eyelid when I said we wanted to adopt at the younger end of the spectrum.  I think, being honest, it helps that we are a mixed race couple (black and white) and mixed raced children are disproportionately represented in the system.  Well, actually that is what we have been told!  However, there are lots of people on here who have adopted babies (i.e under 2).

If you adopt you, in the main, tend to get babies who are, at the youngest, perhaps 6-8 months, so you would have to bear that in mind, as well as all the other issues that come with adoption.  There are some fab people on here to answer your questions and lots of great books.  Take your time, it is not necessarily an easy decision xxx


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## binny (Apr 1, 2012)

Thanks Barbados Girl. It is a truly horrible time the ivf made me very ill, mentally and physically I cannot do it again. We discussed adoption before we started the treatment as we would really like togive a child a chance who hasn't had the best of starts. 6-8 monthes is fine, to be honest I know my heart will break with all of the childrens stories so the age factor will disappear. Thank you for your advice, I will get over the upset of the ivf and then start to read what ican on adoption. I hope you are matched with your family very soon, im going to keep reading these pages to see how you all get on and the obstacles faced as im sure its not an easy ride. Thank you and good luck  x x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

On the age front, we have recently been approved, I'm 48 and hubby is 52, we are 2nd time adopters, 1st time we wanted children aged 5+, this time we went slightly younger as it was felt we needed a bigger age gap so we were approved for 2-6 year old, panel actually pushed the age range down to 2 as we had wanted older.


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## binny (Apr 1, 2012)

Oh wow thanks Miny Moo you are a real adopting expert on your second. It must be really rewarding, dont get me wrong im certain it isnt easy but what a lovely thing to do. I saw an article recently that said people who adopt are proven to be happier than people who have given birth to their children. Some people eh they dont realise how lucky they are. Thanks ladies you are all making me feel really positive about this. Before I knew I had fertility issues I always said I would adopt a child so maybe it is fate. Good luck with your new family member Miny x x


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Binny I'm sorry about your failed treatment. We had 3 fresh cycles of ICSI PGD which ended in 3 angel babies - the heartbreak that treatments brings is just to much. It exhausted us and we just couldn't do it anymore. I think we were about 6 months by the time treatment ended to attending the adoption information evening. We also enjoyed a luxury holiday to Mexico to help us recover. I wish you both well in your recovery process xxx


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## binny (Apr 1, 2012)

Hi AdoptionDreams so sorry to hear of your loss. It is an awful cruel process. You should be proud of yourself for surviving three cycles, that is tough. I got very ill so physically, mentally and financially I cant do it again. It literally leaves you heartbroken doesnt it. Pumped full of hormones and failure, not good. Im glad to see you are wading through the adoption process, I really hope you can bring home another member of your family soon. Its a lovely gift to give a child a chance of a nice life and a new start. Hope all goes well for you. Thanks for responding. I think we'll be off on hols too  x x x


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## AdoptionDreams (Feb 10, 2010)

Yes it's the most challenging thing we have ever went through. The constant medical procedures with no guarantee at the end of it. I always ended up in hospital too which was an added nightmare! We eventually realised that being a Mummy and Daddy doesn't fall on genes it's about loving and raising a child as your own. "Family is not defined by our genes, it is built and maintained through love" - I often share this quote with family and friends when we talk about our adoption journey. When we closed the door on treatment we finally felt alive again, the huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders xx


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## binny (Apr 1, 2012)

Hi AdoptionDreams I love that saying it is so true, I really hope that the adoption route can fill our slightly empty hearts. I wouldnt wish IVF on my worse enemy, its ok if you dont get ill but it sounds like you had a rough old journey too. There is something strangely calming about knowing you cant do a cycle again, you are right it is a weight that is lifted. Its sad, very sad but its acceptance. Im going to start doing a bit of research now. Thank you, good luck with finding your little person.....xxx


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## Hunibunni (Jan 18, 2009)

Hi Binny


I've got a very similar story to you as my last IVF cycle I was extremely ill with OHSS.  Although we had discussed perhaps looking into adoption, being so ill made the decision easier and the relief I felt was so freeing! I had to wait 6 months before we could start the process and tbh you do need that time.  I have just finished prep and waiting to be allocated a sw for home study and I must say it's been nothing but a positive experience compared to fertility treatment.  Good luck with your journey and I would definitely recommend doing some reading so at least you know some of the process etc before you start.


Xx


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## Macgyver (Oct 27, 2008)

Hi binny


As people have said you need to wait 6 months from your last treatment. I had two cycles of Ivf which made us 3 angel babies. We talked after the first mc about adoption as I was starting to feel I couldn't do Ivf again and face another loss.  But we did give it another go and I am afraid it was not meant to be.  We waited 6 months and called our la to make the enquiry about adoption. It was the best call I ever did. My little boy is now fast asleep in his cot and I wouldn't change him for the world.  I know the procedure is even faster now so I wish you well in your journey.


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## Jess75 (Nov 4, 2005)

So sorry for the pain you have been through. 6 Ivf and 3 angel babies here it is so hard I know. We contacted the adoption agency 3 months after our last failed cycle and by the time the next prep course came round it was 6 months after the icsi so they were happy to let us proceed. We were told about our lo 17 days after approval panel and he moves in over the next 2 weeks so its not always a long wait. Good luck to you x


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