# Pregnant friends



## Scubachick (Jul 1, 2008)

Dear all,

Just spoken to one of my closest friends who was obviously really anxious about telling me that she's 9 weeks pregnant. Glad that she told me over the phone though rather than face to face, much easier to deal with.

Feel pleased for her but really sad for myself and my green eyed monster.....

Why do all my friends seem to fall so easily, I feel like I've got their share of bad luck!

Grrrrrrr! 

D
x


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## nbr1968 (Feb 25, 2008)

Hi Scubachick

What you are feeling is sooooo familiar - I know it doesn't help a great deal but sending you a   and hope you feel better soon.

I must admit that I tended to avoid pg friends and just found it easier to deal with that way - not the best for everyone but helped me! Sometimes you just have to protect yourself and not feel guilty about your true feelings - the green eyed monster as you put it!

I wish you all the best of luck - 
Nxx


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi Scubachick,

Its totally normal to feel Angry, upset when friends and family fall pg around you   You need to find away of coping wether thats avoiding them at all costs all follwing them through there pgy, you have to do whats right for you.

When i first started ttc 2 of my friends feel pg, and while i was upset and disapointed in myself i was happy for them, then 12 months later another friend announced there pgy and i can still remember DP coming home telling me and i just burst into tears   had a good cry picked myself up and carried on. I was so happy for them, just so sad for myself Then my brother had a little girl and his gf was only 17 and it was exactly the same, had a good cry andpicked myself back up. For me thre wasnt an option of cutting everyone out my life for a period of time and yes it was so hard at times, but also enjoyable I was always invited to birthday parties and i always went and enjoyed myself. and now i have my little boy even though they are a few years older I know join in with them regarding all the groups they go to  

Once again Just do what 'you' need to do    

Nikki xx


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## PoDdy (Jun 27, 2008)

Hi,
I'm fairly lucky, in that a lot of my friends haven't got children....yet, but this year it really kicked off.  Three of my friends are pregnant and due at around the same time.  I feel totally excluded.  They don't know we're trying (without luck) and I wont tell them.  Then today my boss announced his wife was pregnant.  It seems like everyone is!

However, you want your baby, not theirs, so it's not really jealousy you're feeling, it's disappointment and impatience.  No need to beat yourself up, just focuss on relaxing.


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## Scubachick (Jul 1, 2008)

Dear N...Nikki and PoDdy,

Thanks for your replies....I don't feel quite so guilty for my green monster feelings now. I'd considered avoiding PG friends, but as you've already said, some people are unavoidable, and she is definetly one of the unavoidables.....I thought about my friend all evening and realised how hard she must have found it to tell me, and I really am happy for her, she's had a tough time herself as she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2001, this will be her 2nd child so for her to have another baby is scary, but I know she really wants this and she is really lovely and is a great Mum. 

I've got my fingers crossed that it'll work for me next month so that we can be PG together, that would be the best.

By the way, Lewis is a cutie, had a look at your gallery, lovely pic of the 4 of you....could those smiles get any bigger 

Thanks again to all of you for making me feel better

Deb
xxx


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## AMC1 (Jun 25, 2008)

Hi Deb,

I've just read your entry. I just wanted to tell you that your feelings are completely normal. I know what you're experiencing too well. I'm 35 and dh is 38. We have been trying to conceive for nearly 20 months now. I so wish that I hadn't told any of my friends that we were trying to conceive. There are about 6 of us in total - 4 friends and my sister who is 2 years older than me. We pretty much all started TTC at the same time. They all have babies now! My sister had always said she didn't want children so imagine my shock when 5 months after I first told her we had just started to "try", she phoned me up (she doesn't live nearby) and said "guess what, I'm 12 weeks pregnant!" I was happy for her but so envious too. Inwardly, I still find it quite upsetting to talk to her, especially considering the fact that she never wanted them. I think that kind of makes it worse. 

I hope that one day it will happen for us both. In the meantime, you will find so much support on this web site. You're never alone, there's always someone to talk too.  

Take care,

AM x


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## manxie (Jun 26, 2008)

Hi Everyone  
I just wanted to say that  i know exactly how your feeling.  There are arouind 10 people (friends and colleagues) who are expecting at the mo and i totaly empathise with how your feeling.  Everytime i hear about someone else i feel guilty when mr green eye monster pops up.  I think the worst thing of all is when others know your trying and utter the infamous "it will be you next" if they only knew just how much that can cut...but i hope its true for us all soon. 
Ruth x


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## Hayleigh (Apr 29, 2008)

Hiya Ladies xx

Seems we are all feeling the same, its completely normal for us to feel like this   my SIL had her first baby 4weeks ago and I was sooooo pleased for her really was, wouldnt want anybody to go through IF Lark but on the other it brings me back down with a bang   and makes me again realise what I havent got and what I so desperately want xx lets just hope and   we all get our much deserved BFPs    to you all xx never feel guilty for those feelings we are only human at the end of the day   

BABY DUST    

Hayleigh xxxx


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## AMC1 (Jun 25, 2008)

Hi Hayleigh!

Couldn't agree more! How's you hun? xx


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## Hayleigh (Apr 29, 2008)

Hiya Am xx have PM'd you hun x


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## AMC1 (Jun 25, 2008)

I've just PM you too. Did you get it? Not sure if it worked! AM x


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## Hayleigh (Apr 29, 2008)

Am xx yep! got it chic x


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## AMC1 (Jun 25, 2008)

Getting better at this hun! x


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## AMC1 (Jun 25, 2008)

Thanks for that. if only they knew eh?! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for us all.     AM xx


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## scrobble (Jul 3, 2008)

Like lots of others have said already, it's really hard when friends fall pregnant. I find that it's especially hard when it's people who either haven't been 'trying' or got married after me...silly, I know, but it's almost as if they're queue-jumping!

I've been TTC since Feb 05 and during that time so many of my friends and colleagues have got pregnant. What's hit me badly recently is that two people I know, one who started TTC 5 months after us, is now 21 weeks pregnant with her 2nd child, and one who started TTC at the same time as us who will have her 2nd child's 1st birthday in September.

I usually feel really bad about it for a couple of days and then force myself to pick myself up and carry on...only a couple of people at work know I'm TTC, but all the talk in the office with two pregnant colleagues out of 8 is about babies and pregnancy - it's a nightmare!


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## PoDdy (Jun 27, 2008)

Hi r4k, 
You are soooo right, I'm so much stronger as a person as a result this journey.  I hardly recognise the person I used to be.  I used to get really strung out by AF, but now I take every day as it comes and just try to appreciate my nephews and nieces and friends children.  I have found out so much about myself and I know there is still a lot to learn.

Good luck everyone, try to find some inner peace.


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