# "Agonising Decision over IVF Embryos"



## olivia m (Jun 24, 2004)

This article appeared in the Sunday Times Style supplement today.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article6462132.ece

Olivia


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## roze (Mar 20, 2004)

Its an experience and dilemma that will affect many people who are fortunate enough to have been able to complete their family with embryos to spare. I don't know what the right answer is but I think this particular family made the right decision. The priority should be the welfare and best interests of their existing family and as I see it their donation to research will do that and also contribute to IVF and embryo research which has the potential to help a great many people in the longer term.

We are likely to be in the same position as they. Further treatments are not possible for us  so I have already thought about donation to another couple however do not think its fair to our DD to effectively give away her siblings. However the alternative of destruction is also not a pleasant option as this is really undeniably what it is-' if we can't have them we don't want anyone else to' sort of thing.

We had in mind a couple in the UK,  non FF friends who we have known for some time and like very much. They are having no success at all and cannot afford to seek tx abroad. We did talk about this but considered that it would be fraught with difficulty especially for DH and DD- or DH he would have children being brought up in another part of the UK that he would not be able to parent. For DD they may look like her and lead to a difficult experience if they meet.  If we had not succeeded and had decided to give up completely I think we would have opted for donation, or if there was no genetic link to DH. Even anonymous donation abroad presents us with the same dilemma.

There is a lot of hypocrisy in all of this I know- people have been so generous to us and donors have trusted us with their own precious genetic material. It has been and continues to be  a real privilege. Perhaps we are not just generous enough and should be more willing to share our 'spare' embryos with others but my view is that it is not essentially difficult to produce viable embryos at least through donation, hence there are indeed other options for people.  As someone who tried for many years to conceive and eventualy did so against all the odds, I wonder what I would think if I was still trying . Probably that to waste the embryos was a great crime. However my priority will always be the interests of our daughter and therefore I think we will also be donating to research, as this has the least potential for harm and the greatest potential for wider public benefit.  There is a lot of selfishness in all of this I know, but personally I feel I can't help it in this case.


roze


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