# Newbie: Childless stepmum - IVF/ICSI - severe male infertility (go figure...!) *



## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

This is me these days


Hello there everyone on FF: I've been an avid reader of this site for several months now; thought it was time to introduce myself:

*Me: 38 * (turning 39 this month - yikes!)
*DH: 43 * & loving and incredibly capable father of 2 sweet little girls of 8 and 5. We have joint custody, which works out in practice as every weekend + 1 set of weeknights per month + all the school holidays, a handful when you work fulltime as we do.
Infertility: testing shows I'm completely fine but DH suffers from *severe male infertility * (less than 400,000 sperm, less than 10% of which motile, 0 normal, ho-hum!). After fathering children naturally. Go figure. Something drastic must have happened between daughter 5 and now, but he has no idea what.
*ICSI/IVF* our only option to conceive (chances of conceiving naturally less than 1%)

We've just undergone a first ICSI/IVF cycle (ET 7 Dec 2007). Left ovary matured follicles much faster than other so they let left-side follicles go and went with those on right. 6 egg-whatsits (sorry I've been following IVF treatment outside UK so don't have all the English terminology at hand) collected (1 was empty), of which 4-5 fertilised resulting in 4 embryos graded 6 on a scale on which 1 is excellent and 10 is useless. Chances of viability calculated at 10-15% and indeed my pregnancy test was negative.

Will start next cycle in Feb 2007.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you all better, and beg you to blow clouds of babydust our way, because if my DH can't give me children despite being able to do so for his ex-wife, whose children demand such a huge part of my emotional and physical energies, not to mention material resources and time, I don't know how I'm going to cope...  Well, I will, of course (we all do) but it won't always be fun.

P.S. I'm also on Childless Stepmums (a lifesaver of a site) under the same name


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## dakota (Feb 6, 2007)

Hi Celeste,  

Welcome to Fertility Friends, this site is fantastic for support, information and friendship  

Good luck for your tx in feb    

Huggles
Nikki


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## Strawberries (Apr 6, 2005)

Hi Celeste,

Just like to say hello and welcome to fertility friends  

   with your treatment  



                          Strawberries x


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## marie#1 (Nov 20, 2007)

Hi Celeste,
I can relate to your story. My DH also has extremely low count/mobility. I've just reached week 2 of my ICSI treatment. Went for my suppressed scan today, all was well, will start FSH injections tonight. While we were at the hosp my husband got his results of his last test and there was only 1 sperm with no mobility. This was very very sad news as we now hope and pray that his frozen sample will be helpful or that a miracle happens on the day and he produces something that moves
It's such an emotional rollercoaster but you just have to stay positive and know that it will happen for us!!
I can't imagine having 2 step children being a constant reminder of what you want, but your own.
I'm sending you good vibes that things will work out.


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## emsy25 (Mar 18, 2005)

Hi,

Just wanted to say hello and welcome.

Emma
x x x x


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

Hello again friends and thanks for the warm welcome.

Marie1: we all have our different infertility crosses to bear but this step-parenting thing can is indeed be a bitter pill to swallow and I do genuinely believe it would be easier if we were both childless: despite DH's love and support I fear that I'm alone in facing up to possible childlessness (as indeed I am, as he is and always will be a father).  I'm struggling a little with feelings of resentment that the man who may not be able to give me children is the one who's given me... his ex-wife's children to look after 50% of the time (with him, of course - he's an incredible, hands-on, capable father).  There are, of course, many positive aspects to being a stepmother, so I just have to focus on the good and fight back the bad feelings.  Good luck with your cycle: keep us posted!


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## Caz (Jul 21, 2002)

Hello Celeste, welcome to Fertlity Friends. 

What a shock to discover you had male factor problems after your DH has had children previously. Sorry to hear of your negative cycle; even when you except a negative result, it is still heartbreaking.  
My DH also have male factor issues, although quite mild, yet has two sons conceived naturally. For me I was always able to account for that by the time between them and our attempts (his youngest is 25) and the fact he doesn't live a healthy lifestyle (eats all wrong, smokes, drinks from time to time...) and the fact that my own fertiltiy was so rubbish, all things considered that he probably could have conceived naturally again fairly quickly with a more fertile partner.
Of course it is entirely possible that nothing has happened to affect your DH's fertility at all and it has always been poor but he fluked a couple of pregnancies with his ex (especially if she is extremely fertile, as some women are). I have seen plenty of examples of couples on FF get a surprise natural pregnancy with very severe male factore issues so I am inclined to believe anything is possible!

There are also things you can look at doing to help improve both sperm and egg quality which might be useful to you. A lot of FFers take (or have their partners take) special vitamin formulations to help. Also some swear by complimentary procedures such as reiki and acupuncture. I will leave you some links below to places you can learn more about these things.

*Male factors ~ *CLICK HERE

*What can improve egg quality and quantity ~ * 
CLICK HERE

*Complimentary Therapies ~ *CLICK HERE 

You might also like to join the Cycle buddies, where you can share your treatment journey with other ladies going through the same. It can feel wonderfully supportive to know you are not alone.

*Leap year Loonies - Feb/Mar cycle buddies ~*CLICK HERE

We also have a thread for discussions around stepchildren when ttc:

*Stepchildren & Infertility ~* CLICK HERE

And here's some general links that will help you learn the "lingo", find out more about your tx and make friends:

*Meanings ~ *CLICK HERE

*ICSI ~ *CLICK HERE

*ICSI Follow up Questions ~ *CLICK HERE

*Girl & Boy talk - Community board ~ *CLICK HERE

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck with your tx. 

C~x


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## Fidget (Jan 27, 2005)

Hey Celeste

Nice to see you found it sweetie   

Happy surfing Hon and I hope it helps  

Debs
xxxxxxxxx


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

Caz: thanks for all this useful info!  
Fidget: hi Debs!  Yes, here I am   Oh no I'm becoming addicted; can't keep off the two forums!

Caz: you're right to point out that couples can and do conceive against all odds: hubby's ex, far from being very fertile, was diagnosed with some fertility issues, as was he, 10 years ago when they were unable to conceive.  They were actually about to embark on IVF when they got pregnant with first child!  But still went on to have 2!  DH's fertility was low 10 years ago (around 7 million) but has now plummeted to 400,000 despite a healthy diet, being a non-smoker for the last 20 years, not drinking much alcohol and keeping physically fit.  We'll see.


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## eclaire (Jan 11, 2007)

Hi Celeste  

A big welcome to FF and a huge hug for all you're going through   I can only imagine how difficult your situation must feel   My Dp's SA seem to have deteriorated since we started investigations and treatment too, and that's despite some improvements in his lifestyle including stopping smoking, barely drinking alcohol, and eating a mainly healthy organic diet and taking supplements  

I wish you all the luck in the world for your treatment   and hopefully by the end of 2008 we'll both have lovely babies of our own          

Best wishes,
Elaine


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## Kamac80 (Nov 24, 2005)

Hi and welcome to the site 

You have come to a fantastic place full of advice and support and i wish you loads of luck with everything.

Kate xx[/center​


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## Celeste (Nov 15, 2007)

Hi again everyone!

*Elaine* (eclaire): perhaps your DP's SA's are being negatively affected by stress? It wouldn't be surprising, would it, given your sad experiences in 2007? I'm crossing my fingers for a better result. The "best" (although I suppose I should actually call it "least catastrophically bad"  sperm sample my DH had was the one he gave on EC day, when we'd abstained from sexual relations for 6 days, rather than the 3 that my clinic recommended. Even at the time he said he thought it looked better than the others. We hadn't planned to hold out that long, but EC was delayed when they decided to let the follicles from one ovary go while waiting on the second, so it just worked out that way. Perhaps you could do the same?

Good luck to you all!


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## eclaire (Jan 11, 2007)

Thanks Celeste   I appreciate your kind words   I'll be keeping my fingers crossed  for you too    

Best wishes,
Elaine


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## ♥Saila♥ (Mar 27, 2006)

Hi Celeste!

Welcome to FF!!

Hoping to see you with a BFP soon

xxxx


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