# It's over for us - can't believe it



## Dell Boy (Aug 6, 2008)

Hi All,

I know a lot of you have followed my journey so far so i think its only fair i tell you we lost the pregnancy Monday afternoon, d/w had gone to the clinic for what we thought were routine blood tests but sadly they showed that the progesterone level had dropped from 52.5 to 15 between last Wednesday and Monday, if you recall we had a bleed 24 hours after being told we had the pregnancy confirmed then we went for a blood test a week ago today which confirmed we were pregnant but there was some concern for this hormone level which is why they called us back, cant believe how much i cried on the way home, d/w was all on her own, really thought this was the one for us, considering these were donor eggs and we had two very good ones put back in i thought this was it, why did it fail, not sure really, doctor thinks the embryo transfer could have been at fault but as we all know its almost unidentifiable to say it happened because of this, i know it sounds cocky but i even when onto the pregnant board since i was so proud to actually be there, it was like, oh, here i am, I'm going to be a dad,
misplaced though it was, well where to go from here, d/w wants to have another go which i must admit I'm pleased about albeit i don't like being in the last chance saloon as i don't like that feeling however i have told her that we can keep trying naturally, a very long shot but one i think we should at least do, I'm very pragmatic about it, so i think lets read all the books, only eat the things that help, get to bed early and plenty of imtimancy to conceive naturally and meanwhile pursue the donor route once more, d/w is very sore emotionally as you would imagine and has taken this very badly and just needs time to lick her wounds, don't like seeing her up set like that, what i think is hard here is that most of the people here with close friends know you are having treatment so you tell them when it has worked but when it fails you then have to tell everyone the bad news unlike a lot of natural pregnancies where you may not say anything until the first scan shows all OK, if anyone reading this and been in this situation before please let me know how you dealt with it and what you did next and what you think should be the way forward, just looking for some encouragement really and guidance.

Thanks for everyones support on this attempt,

Dell Boy


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## purplejr (May 20, 2009)

Didn't want to read and run as I've been following your dramas. Sorry for your loss.

Sending lots of       .

Take care of each other

xx


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## Ruth (Aug 6, 2004)

So, so sorry to hear your news as have been following developments.

Hugs to you both at this time,

Ruth


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Oh DB 

I am so sorry to read this....you & your DW have been through so much  

I have no words of wisdom but just wanted to say take time to grieve, because that's exactly what it's like....the varying emotions of heartache, disbelief, anger and frustration....but you will get through this.  You may not believe it right now and it is an age old cliche but time really is a great healer and you'll eventually be able to dust yourselves down, pick yourselves up and move forwards.

Enjoy Christmas and New Year without feeling guilty for having a few drinks and indulgences and then start the new year afresh.....and ttc naturally after treatment can produce some miracles....we'd not conceived naturally since 2005, had clomid to boost, the IVFs/FETs (although both FETs were early mcs too  ) and then low and behold we managed to conceive again this summer....ok, not the greatest result as it was another early mc but but it gave us (and our consultant) that glimmer of hope that we can do it...which has also given us renewed positivity for our current IVF....there are also several natural miracles on my clinic thread, following IVF/ICSI/FET....in fact just in the ladies who are pg at the moment, 3 conceived naturally after long journeys of mc's and treatment !!   So you just never know.....I'll keep fingers and toes crossed for you that you get that natural miracle and if sadly it doesn't happen the way nature intended, then I wish you all the luck in the world for your next treatment cycle    

Take care of yourselves....and you know you'll always find support here  
Natasha xx


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## nicnacnoo (Jul 29, 2009)

Oh Delboy,

I am so so sorry.  Sitting here with tears in my eyes, I wish I had the words to make it somehow better for you and your DW.

Be strong for each other, give yourself time to get tour head round it.  I send you lots of love and hugs, and best wishes for the future.

Thinknig of you xxx


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## Izzybear (Aug 4, 2009)

Dellboy

Have been reading your posts and was willing you both on, so sorry to hear your news.

Take care of each other. Wishing you all the best.

Izzybear
x


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## Dell Boy (Aug 6, 2008)

Thanks all for your heart felt best wishes, it all makes sense, 

Thanks Natasha - i think we are pretty much in tune with each other in our approach and thoughts with all of this, good luck with your own journey,d/w is phoning clinic to book an appointment with the doctor this morning so thats good stuff.

Is it worth reading the Zelda Meads book?

db


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## Skybreeze (Apr 25, 2007)

Oh Dell Boy     Its so heartbreaking to read you news.. I am very very sorry for your and your wifes loss. When we lost our baby in June it was horrible telling people the news of our scan. Like you said it wasnt a natural pregnancy so most friends and family knew.

It will get easier in time, you and DW will feel better and stronger. Take time to grieve for this cycle, and I wish you all the best in the new year. 
I have everything crossed for you
Lots of Love Natalie xxx


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## sparklez (Jan 12, 2009)

Dellboy and DW = 
I'm so very sorry for you loss - I have been following your posts recently and I'm totally gutted for you this morning to read this news.    
There are no words - but please know that we are all thinking of you both and sending you all lots of love and luck for what your future brings you both...x x x   x x x


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## ☼♥ Minxy ♥☼ © (Jan 13, 2005)

Dell Boy said:


> Thanks all for your heart felt best wishes, it all makes sense,
> 
> Thanks Natasha - i think we are pretty much in tune with each other in our approach and thoughts with all of this, good luck with your own journey,d/w is phoning clinic to book an appointment with the doctor this morning so thats good stuff.
> 
> ...


You sound like you're a very strong couple and that you're both already looking forwards  

I don't know the Zelda Meads book but here's a few I've found really helpful....

"Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?: Unexplained Infertility, Miscarriage and IVF Failure" by Dr Alan E Beer

"Natural Solutions to Infertility: How to Increase Your Chances of Conceiving and Preventing Miscarriage" by Marilyn Glenville

"Fit for Fertility" by Michael Dooley

"Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know" by Lesley Regan

Good luck & take care
Natasha xx


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## daisy-may (Oct 11, 2007)

no words ... just  

daisy xx


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## TwiceBlessed (Nov 8, 2006)

Oh Dell Boy and DW I am so very sorry to hear this.  Losing a pregnancy is devastating and you need to take the time to grieve.  I lost my first pregnancy finding out at 9.5w, at this time of year.  I found it so heartbreaking but was determined to try again.

Take some time to look after yourselves and decide when it is best for you to try again.

I know it may be small comfort but my consultant informed me that once your body has become pregnant (even if only briefly) it does make it more likely that you will become pregnant again.

Thinking of you at this time xxx


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## lollipops (Oct 17, 2009)

Dell Boy- Sorry to hear that bad news-this cant be an easy time for you- But thankyou for keeping us all informed-very kind of you given what your going through.

As a strong couple-you'll get through this-just support eachother the way you are doing- all the very best for you future. xxx


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## strawbs (May 16, 2005)

dell boy and dw..... so sorry to hear your sad news, it is heartbreaking to have to go through this.

I conceived immediately after an ivf bfn my son is 18m, and am currently 21 wks preg after a 2nd m/c in june-fell pg immediately after my m/c.  don't give up hope it can happen!!

I found the m/c association very helpful after my 1st I was so so angry, after struggling to conceive, the hopes and dreams were cruelly snatched away.

take one day at a time and be kind to each other
   
strawbs xx


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## Stretch (Jul 8, 2008)

Dell Boy

No words of wisdom but i really wanted to send you and your lovely DW a massive   and lots of strength for the future xxxxx


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## isobel snow drop (Feb 2, 2009)

So sorry to have heard your sad news.I have lost 4 babies now and all I can say is that time is a healer and your wife will get stronger. It wont seem like it at first but day by day i notice that Im feeling better, I still have lapses the last time was yesterday but I do feel stronger in myself.

Just stay close and grieve for your baby. 

Wishing none of us had to go through any of this 
xxxxxx


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## HippyChicky (Aug 3, 2009)

*hugs* for you both, I am so sorry to hear this news from you, you are both strong and will get through this, keeping you both in my thoughts xx


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## Dell Boy (Aug 6, 2008)

Hi All,

That was very nice of everyone to say what has been said, time is a healer indeed but after a couple of days we are slowly getting some form of life back, d/w has contacted her doctor at clinic and he is putting our names forward for donor board since they have a donor meeting today which is good, nice to hear from some about getting pregnant soon after m/c and the fertility increasing around this time and also the fact that if you have been pregnant it is easier to get pregnant again, i like anyone else read all the words and posts here and try and identify with a situation which is close to us and there have been a couple of times i have seen it so never give up, the finance is going to be a struggle but we'll have to find it somewhere hence my enthusiasm for ttc naturally, anyway thanks once more, meant a lot to me that I'm not alone,

DB


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## Rmarps (Jan 13, 2009)

Hi DB
I just had to come on and send you both   You sound like a really close couple.
Fingers crossed for any future atempts.
Rach
x


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥ (Apr 10, 2008)

I've just seen  this and so sorry for your loss   

You wil get back to reality in your own time and it sounds like you are doing it already. I was like that, I had some time off work and by the time i went back i had  a plan of action!! 

Each cycle we have done i have got pg, the first 2 with low HCGs, 1st was low then the 2nd got higher and the 3rd pg  was a good level but didn;t rise much and then this one, so all i'm saying is each pg has gpt better and better!!  (even tho i've got older and older!! ) It will happen hun, you just need to believe


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## ✿Penny✿ (Mar 30, 2006)

Hi Delboy
So sorry for your loss, I am thinking of you both & wish you well to get through this together  
I just found out last week that I had a faint positive on a blood test, I felt pregnant the week before that & started to relax & enjoy the great joy I was feeling, that this was it my chance to be happy my dh & I had finally did it together we created a life & were going to be parents, but unfortunately my levels starting dropping & now I am waiting for a bleed.
I am devastated, so much optimism followed by dissapointment & grief, but despite all this our embryo had implanted something we would never of done on our own, & it was very early days. It gives me hope that we got that far & we will try again in the new year.
It also reminds me that me & my dh can face anything together, that yes this is a hard journey we are on but we have chosen to travel it together. We can decide to stop now but we have two frozen embryos waiting for us to try again.
The love you have for each other will get you through this whatever you decide to do, give yourselves time to grieve. Good luck & best wishes xxx


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## Dell Boy (Aug 6, 2008)

Hi Penny,

Looks as though our stories almost collide, so sorry to hear about what happened to you, nice to hear you are going to give it another go, my secretary has just announced she is three months pregnant although I'm happy for her I'm just a little bit bitter, i was sitting there Friday when she told me how brave she'd been when they took a blood test on her and used a needle to draw the blood and she still had the plaster on her arm, my poor d/w has a needle phobia and has had to inject herself in the stomach every day and have a needle shoved up her backside every other night, her husband is regularly on the drink and smokes heavily, I've not had a drink for about six months and last had a *** four years ago, i stopped to help with this treatment, now tell me thats fair and oh they have only been trying for three months, i had to listen whilst she told me how to get pregnant, oh great, still thats only compounded by someone else in the office who is pregnant also three months, that only leaves me and one bloke of 62, however i believe if you want something you'll get it, thats my rant over, going to give this all I've got this time, not that i have not in the past but i just need to keep trying,

I can never believe this is happening some times but i have to deal with reality, chin up and all that, 

DB


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## MissTC (May 8, 2006)

Dell Boy I am so sorry to read this honey. Just wanted to send lots of hugs to you and your DW


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## awaywiththefaeries (Oct 30, 2009)




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