# Feeling so lonely!!!!!



## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Im feeling so lonely today. We have been ttc for about 8 years and had IUIs and 1IVF all resulting in BFN   .  I am just so fed up today and feeling very sorry for myself.  I am also really scared that this is going to be my life now and I will never have that little bundle of joy that we so desperately want.  

I think I am feeling worse because it my birthday next week and its just another reminder of yet another year gone and still nothing. I really dont know how much i can take of this my DH is a massive support and an amazing person but I dont like to keeping whinging to him as I know that he will just worry even more and I dont think he realises just how one second I can be ok and then bang it hits me like a tons of bricks again.  

Also I am really annoyed as we choose not to tell everyone about tx and just told a few close family members.  A few weeks ago we were in a family party and one of DH cousin's (who I dont really know that well) came up to me and was asking about tx and how she was so sorry to hear about it and how she is sure it will work soon etc.  I was absolutely gobsmacked and felt like a freak as up to that point I was really enjoying myself pretending my life was perfect and i was in complete control of my life and all the time everyone knew even people I dont really know that well.  I was so upset and shocked and felt that everyone was looking at me and feeling pity for me etc.  The worse thing is they have probably all known for ages and that was the only control i had left was who knew and even thanks to some of DH family members now I havent even got that!!! 

Sorry if I have bored u to tears but thank you for listening to me I think it helps to get it off my chest.  

Emma xxxx
P.S.  Hoping tomorrow I might have a better day!!!


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## carrieanne32 (Jan 4, 2011)

Hi Emma ,
                                                                  I am so sorry you have had a bad day. I hate days like that when no matter what you do you just cant stop crying and feel so low. Just know that whenever you feel that you have everyone here to turn too. I think that is so bad that your DH husband cousin knew. I know what you mean about that being the only control you have. Even though they where probably asking because they care , in a way I hate that though because I feel it singles us out or if someone is pregnant everyone pussy foots it around me i know its because they care but it rally annoys me. Hope you are feeling better soon honey , you know where to find me if you need a chat.
                              Carrie-Anne x


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## bron11 (Jul 16, 2008)

Just wanted to send you some hugs - free feel to off load at anytime to any of us, we have all been there and felt like you.  Not a lot I can say regarding treatment, but hope your dream comes true soon.  Glad your DH is supportive - bron


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## Katie4 (Oct 21, 2007)

I am so sorry you are feeling so lonely, I found TTC a very lonely experience, even with all the lovely ladies on here. And I totally understand your distress at people you barely know knowing. I was neurotic about hiding the fact we were TTC let alone having treatment because I couldn't cope with the thought of people wondering if I was pregnant when I was giving myself a hard enough time. 


However, tomorrow is another day and hopefully you will feel a little brighter and fingers crossed for good news for you soon


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## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

thank you girls for being so kind and supportive!  I just find Im up one minute and down the next.  I do feel a bit more postive today.  thank you once again for ur messages.  I think i would probably go crazy if it wasnt for u lovely ladies on here   xxxxxxx


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## bron11 (Jul 16, 2008)

just popping in to wish you happy birthday and hope your more emotionally stronger bron


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## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

Thank u Bron.  I do feel a lot better hun after my rant lol.  I always feel better after a good moan....typical woman   !!

Thank u for ur very kind birthday wishes t is very kind of u    xxx


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## Katie4 (Oct 21, 2007)

Oh, I missed it was your birthday  


          


(even if it is a bit late). Did you have a nice day. 


(And, glad you feel better for getting it down in black and white.   )


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## EmmaLily (Sep 8, 2009)

lol thank u hun.  Its not my birthday until sunday hun but thank u so much xxx


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## bron11 (Jul 16, 2008)

your welcome, have a great birthday tomorrow, hope you get spoilt rotten...


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