# IUI With Vaginismus Part 17



## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

New Home Peeps!

  

H xx


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

We've had an offer accepted on the house we wanted. We had to offer the full asking price in the end, but at least we got it. Actually, it is below our budget so it leaves some scope for refitting one bathroom and some internal renovation work (it has very child-unfriendly stairs), as well as re-decoration. I fell in love with it when I went back this morning, and I just love the surounding area.     I am trying not to get too excited in case the sale of our house falls through. We should be exchanging contracts this week, but I'm starting to get worried that it will all go wrong. As you know, worrying is what I do best.
Claire, Polly - it is the one in the village you both know (even though I think you both suggested it might be lacking in amenities). 

Hope you are all OK.

Emma, xxxx


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Well done, Emma! I bet that's a load off your mind.

Is it too early to know when you might move in, and are you going to move in and renovate, or renovate and then move in?

Everything seems to be going really well for you at the moment, so NO MORE middle of the night moments!  

Had another exhausting day at work. If this cycle works for us it will be a b&*$%y miracle!

Annie, if you are planning to have a go at yahoo, I'll leave mine on, but the sound is a bit wonky, so I'll keep checking in case I don't hear you.

Love

Polly

Take care all.


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

I shouldn't be here - should be sorting out paperwork. Annie, Polly - I might pop onto yahoo later too if dh is working late and doesn't need feeding.

Polly - we'll move in then renovate. It really isn't that bad. The stairs will have to be replaced; we've got a year or so to do (I'm imagining baby daffodil will be very advanced with his/her walking) that but it is better to get on with these things right away. I don't know how long it takes to remove and rebuild stairs. perhaps I'll need to stay with MIL for that. I don't really fancy having to climb up a ladder to get to bed. There are 2 bathrooms. the family bathroom (to use estate agent speak) is fine as it is. The ensuite one is rather dated (very 1970s with a lot of swirly brown patterns going on) and would need to be redone. To think that earlier in the year I swore that I'd never refit a bathroom again. The kitchen units are not to my taste, but I think we'll live with that for a while before deciding what form our ideal kitchen should take. We rushed into refitting the kitchen in our present house, and I sometimes wished we'd waited a while and thought more about how we use it.

We heard late today that all is on schedule for moving out of here next Thursday. We're aiming to move into the new house by the end of December.
Sorry, I'll stop boring you to death with house talk.

Polly - although people say stress is bad for ttc, I reckon having distractions helps. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Really must go and do things now


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - I am so so pleased for you! To think just a few short weeks ago you never thought you'd find a home. I cant believe you could be in by the new year!

Well I just cannot get into Yahoo. I've tried everything I can think of -admitedly not alot as my p.c knowledge is not extensive. 

I am destined never to chat to you guys in the evenings ever again


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, tell me what you are doing and how far you get...

Polly


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

OK, so when I press the sign in button it just goes back to saying Sign In

I've tried uninstalling and reinstalling. That then said something about my firewall and proxies?


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello all,

Sorry I haven't been around much had so much going on! doesn't seem like you have missed me though so much has been happening here too! Annie you sound so much more relaxed and excited about being pregnant, guess it is sinking in more. Its nice to hear you so happy though.
Emma well done on getting your dream house! was it the cottage? it will be all go for you then in the next couple of months and beyond! please remember to take care of yourself too.

Polly don't give up as Emma said a distraction is good, this could still be THE month for you and george.

Right....................... Had a rubbish day at work today, left fuming and nearly in tears I was so wound up! all the children were terrors today and just got under my skin, which rearly happens usually I have the patiants of a saint! Think I was/am tired so couldn't cope as well as I normally do plus all the staff just seemed to be so lazy today and I couldn't say anything because I was in such a mood I would have screamed at them and flew off the handle so decided to struggle on alone.
Manager turns up at well about 5pm which annoys me I know its her business but she comes in at looks round for fault all the time and critasizes everything, I just think well get your bum in here and do it your blomming self then - but end up biting my tounge!
Then at 6pm (home time) she wants to chat to us all or has 1 more thing she would like us to do quickly! its alright for her she hasn't been there since 8!
Anyway moan over aaaaarrrghhhhh!

On a lighter note, DH and I have decided to look more into adoption after receiving teh infomations pack. I know you don't agree with it but I hope you will understand why I have to atleast look into it? we contacted a social worker today and will attend an infomation meeting on the 7th December! eeekkk exciting.

We haven't decided if this is for us 100% yet and if we do go ahead it doesn't mean we will never have our own children (unless we cant of course) we will put it on hold then come back to it in a few years when we hopefully feel ready to deal with it again and may even feel we can have more treatment then too, because at the moment we have ruled that out completly I cant go through it right now!
I am always being told I have time on myside I think I may use that time to put ttc on hold but that doesn't mean I have to put being a mummy on hold. does that make sense?

I hope you can understand my decision and can support us if we do decide to go ahead.

Donna xx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Forgto to mention in my moan, that a child was sick today, EVERYWHERE! but all the staff ran saying ewh ewh I can't deal with sick! the poor child obviously wasn't well she should come first! so annoying! then when I ment to call parents, we have no records for that child! the place is so badly organised! so the poor girl had to stay put!

My tutor called to as I didn't go on saturday he had to fill me in! I stupidly (thinking I would get it all done by next months study day!) said I ve finished all teh work, so he wants me to post it to him! HELP what am I going to do! think I will have to leave the course is too much


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hey Donna!

Good to have you back, don't be mistaken into thinking we haven't missed you. I sure have and I've been worried about you.  

Of course I'll support you in whatever road you feel is best for you. I don't think any of us wouldn't support you hun. 

So, just to make sure I understand and don't put my foot in it!!! Am I right in thinking that what you are saying is that you're going to look more into adopting. In the meantime stop ttc, so stop having unprotected sex? Or are you saying you're thinking of carrying on with sex and if it happens it happens whilst you look into adoption?


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie, I have sent a message about yahoo to your email address.

Polly


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie to answer your question we are still ttc while looking into adoption and if it happens the thats great! If and when we decided adoption is the right move for us we will then give adoption our 100% and stop ttc so stop having unprotected sex.

Donna xx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Thanks Donna, I see what you're saying now. 

So what is the meeting on the 7th all about? Is it going to explain the process etc?


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Donna, you sound much happier now you are formulating a plan! You'll make a great mum, and even more so to a child who already needs one.

Sounds like your day was as bad as mine, although thank goodness no-one was sick over me today! 

Love

Polly


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Donna - you poor thing. What an awful day.  Is today a full moon, or something. Do you get your half day tomorrow? that'll give you chance to catch up with colege work.
Of course we missed you, by the way.   

I don't disagree with adoption at all. Any child would be so lucky to have such a wonderful mother as you. You sound happier for having a cunning plan. 

Got to go, it is way past my bedtime. Night, night everyone.
Emma, xxxxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

How is everyone today?


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

I've been out and about this morning (dentists, solicitors etc). Now I'm back and enjoying a fruit bun with lots of strawberry jam. Not sure the dentist would approve.

Hope you are all OK. 

Emma, xxxx


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

I'm cold, nauseous (don't read anything in to it, third month running!) and got a headache. What more do you want to know? 

Polly


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Wow, Emma, that's great news, congrats on the house purchase!    Please talk away about it, I love talking house!  We're still wanting to move to a village but still have the issue of our respective parents.  I badly want my parents to move, not least because for the 3rd time in the last 5 years a car has driven into a house within spitting distance of theirs (3 different houses) as it's on a bend and people drive too fast - most recent one was Monday night!  We also want a bigger house to get a 2nd cat.

My work is pretty awful too.  Our manager knows we're all over-worked so she piles on more things, then acts surprised when it doesn't get done!  Not to mention fluctuating between micromanaging and not giving a damn!  But, on the bright side, she's never sick on me!

No dilators this week, my period arrived Monday (early, was going to do Monday night!) and I've got such a bad headache that all I want to do when I get home is sleep.  Bf has some late night outings this week which isn't helping my sleep time!

Am hoping the weekend will be better, going for a pub meal friday night, Woburn Safari park saturday and seeing my parents sunday.  Will start on the dilators again then, still doing #2 and #3 in one evening (usually 5 mins on #2 and 10 mins on #3).  Bf keeps asking to help but I can't face that at the moment.

Claire


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Claire

Do you work for me??  

Just curious, do you live with BF now? It didn't sound like you did at first, but now it does a bit.

Love
Polly


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi Polly

We both had houses when we met and we still own both of them (about a 4 minute walk between them at most), but mostly he lives at mine (it's nicer), and we've been discussing for some time selling them both and buying one together in a village.  They're both 2 bed houses so neither is big enough for two mad cats and us.

So, no, we don't formally live together but we may as well!  Would save on the 2 mortgages for one thing.  But I still like the occasional evening to myself, comes from living alone for 4 years I think, so the fact that he's having late night outings and coming to mine after when he could go elsewhere when all I want to do is sleep is starting to annoy me!  (I'm a bit intolerant like that...)  

Claire


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Greetings Again!

Claire - Our Bosses must be related! Mine is a task master/slave driver too. Just as I get near to empyting my In Box she fills it right back up again. Not to worry though, we have a team meeting tomorrow and I think workload is top of the agenda along with Secret Santa and the Xmas Do!!!

Polly - You sound on top of the world!

Emma - That fruit bun sounds rather nice. I'm just about to head off for lunch and see what yummies the restaurant is serving up today!


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello all,

Yippe home early, I SHOULD do college work but had already planned to see my friend and baby freya   I will have to get cracking at the weekend.

Polly, you sound awful   Hope you are feeling better) can you throw a sicky when its your own company?

Claire, I live in a 2 bed house with my DH plus 2 cats and a kitten! we hope to cram a baby in too! it can be done!

Annie, find anything yummy for lunch? secret santa I love that! don't think the moany old cows at my place will be up for that! don't even have xmas do! not that I mind as wouldn't really want one.

Emma, how are you?

Everyday I think I have made up my mind about ttc, treatment and adoption only to wake up the next morning and think something completely different. Dont really know enough about adopting yet - although I have done research! thats what the meeting on the 7th will be for, to find out everything!
Thought the meeting would be attended by loads of people but socail worker thinks it may just be us and another couple! makes it more scary! I am excited about it, but also very scared when I think if we do go ahead in theory we could be matched with a child in 9 months (although it could take longer) but I guess you have those feelings to when you are pregnant? don't you? or should I take it as a sign that its not right for us

Do feel better I have a plan! you know me and being in control!

Donna xx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Dear Lord- Donna I feel as though I'm speaking to a different person today. You sound so much happier and it's really lovely to hear.

I am sure that once you attend the meeting on 7th you'll have a much better idea if adoption is definitely what you & DH want to explore and answer alot of the questions and concerns you might have. How exciting!

I love Secret Santa too, well I love Christmas full stop. Last year I stayed away from alot of festivities as it was the first one without my dear Dad who was also a huge Crimbo fan.  So this year I shall be going nuts for it all to make up for it. Our Xmas do is going to be a bit different this year. My team has decided to ditch the department gig and go off on our own one. I've arranged for us to go to a party night at one of the big hotels in town. We'll still all get suited, booted and party frocked, but we won't have to mix with any of the less dseirable and miserable people we work with occassionally!


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - you poor thing. I hope you're taking care of yourself. I bet dh is looking after you well.

Claire - do cats take up that much space?! I'm sure you could squeeze another one or two in somewhere.

Donna - good to hear you sounding so much more positive. No harm will come from attending the meeting in December. It will probably help you to decide one way or the other if adoption is right for you.

Annie - hope you managed to find something yummy for lunch.

I'm having an infuriating day. I'm trying to finalise a date for moving and we keep hearing different things from different people. I can't confirm thimgs with the removal people until we get a definite date. Arrrrgggggghhhhhhh!


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Moving dates - takes me back to the stress of it all!  I'm dreading having to sell two houses to buy one, it sounds so complicated and a logistical nightmare!

Cats - 2 would be ok I think but sometimes we have his parents cat and 3 belting around the house would be just unimaginable!  Might change our minds though... would love to have a little kitten to play with... 

I'm waiting to find out any day who I've got for Secret Santa.  Am hoping for a girl as they're so much easier to buy for!

Claire x


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

All Hail Queen Polly    

Thanks to her absolute genius I am back on Yahoo!!!!!

Bless you Polly xxxx


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)




----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I'm serious Polly. I was miserable at work all day because I thought I'd have to spend yet another night without Messeger!

More fabulous news this evening. TAKE THAT DOCUMENTARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was the biggest TT fan in my teenage years. Donna, are you wtih me on this or were you too young?


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Annie, I have just noticed you haven't put that you are pregnant in your signature! it still says you are ttc.

Come on throw in a ticker as well xx

Just read your post, I am completely with you on take that, saw them twice once at wembely and the other at earls court!


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Oh dear, Annie and Donna, I feel sooooo old reading your posts.   I was a Wham girl.....

Annie - you must get a ticker now you've had the all clear. 

Poly - hope you're feeling a bit better.


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Take That program was soooooo good! re-living my younger days  

Night night

Donna xx


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

I was a Bros girl myself, so feeling a bit old too!

Claire x


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Claire - I wasn't too impressed with Bros, musically, although I loved those things they had on their shoes (was it Grolsch bottle tops, or have I imagined that ). All the girls at my school tried to attach them to their shoes, but I was too rule-abiding for such things. 

Have a great day everyone,
Emma, xxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Goooooooooooood Morning!!!!!


Wow, how fabulous was it seeing Take That together again. Dream come true! And to top the week off we are only 30 hours away from my viewing of Harry Potter. If anyone knows any magic ways of making time go a bit faster, please help me out!!!

Soooo, to prevent anymore nagging - how do I get a ticker?


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

I'm so envious you're so close to seeing Harry Potter!  

I'm not going until 25th, I need a time turner that goes forwards instead of back... 

Claire


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Annie - to get a ticker, click on my ticker. You don't have to have one the same, of course, but it takes you to the ticker website. There you'll find plenty to choose from. When you've created it you highlight the strange code bit in a box (there are 3 boxes to choose from and I can't remember which you need, but try them all until it works - I think it is the 2nd one) and select 'copy'. Then go into your FF profile and press 'paste' to put it into your signature.

That might all make more sense when you try it. If not, come back to me. As Polly will testify, I am useless with things like that, so if I can manage it then I am sure you can!

I think it will be a while until I see Harry Potter.  There is a cinema where MIL lives, but is a really old one with very uncomfortable seats and heated like a sauna. I reckon I'll have to wait until January.

I'm off to shout at BT now.   

Emma, xxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Greetings Once Again!

I will have a go at putting a ticker on tonight if I get a chance to log on. 

24 hours left til Harry!!!! I'd be envious too Claire   hee hee hee!!!!


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

I'm having one of those days. I'm waiting for people to phone, visit, etc, but nobody seems capable of doing things at the time they say they will. I know I'm a control freak  but if I say I'll do something at a certain time I jolly well do it.
Rant over.

I should be packing really, but it is so boring. Plus I'm waiting for more packing stuff to be delivered. Still don't have an official date for moving and the unofficial date is only a week away. All good fun really.

Dh is hiring a van and taking things up to MIL at the weekend. He wants to take the PC up then.  I'm trying to persuade him that I can fit it in the car on Thursday instead, but I know it makes sense.

Hope you are all OK. Annie, Claire you sound so excited about Harry P. 
Polly - hope you're feeling a bit better today, and work is less stressful.
Donna - how are you. Are you trying BMS this month, or is that all on hold now? Is it BMS time now?

Emma, xxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - How long will you be incomunicado if the pc goes on Thursday? Must be a house moving theme today. DH is currently helping our friends move to one of their parents houses today. They sold their house but haven't found one they like to purchase, so off to his Mothers until they do!

Polly - Are you feeling o.k today?

Donna - Are you giving bms a go?


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie - if the PC goes on Saturday I'll be incommunicado for about a week. If it goes on the following Thursday (a week today - arrrrgggggghhhhh) it'll just be for a day or so.
I've spent all afternoon packing, and nothing looks any different.


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi all,

Polly I hope you are ok as haven't heard from you today? how are you feeling?

I had an absoluely awful day today, ended up in tears but was feeling tearful today anyway!
The child who was sick on tuesday came into nursery yesterday (which she shouldn't have done) and she had the runs so I sent her home and told them to keep her away for 24 hours! They brought her in today! had a row with parent as I was standing my ground that nursery policy is they are excluded for 24 hours but he was having none of it. In the end all the staff told me to leave it! so I ended up looking like I was they one with the attitude and being awkward but I was in the right! Got soooooo ****** off and didn't talk to anyone for the rest of the day, what is the point in me being there if the staff or parents don't respect me as the deputy manager! plus the manager is never there so I'm the bloody manager most of the time!

Everything I do or try and do she says she'll do it! but things I don't do she moans that its my job to do! I don't know where I stand or what is expected of me! I have tried to talk to her to get things clearer but end up more confussed.

Stared job trying to be 'one of them' who when needed would wear deputy hat - does that make sense?
But as from tomorrow I will wear my deputy hat all teh time, so no more mrs nice deputy! they want a manager there get one! but believe me they wont like it  

are feel better now thanks xx

Donna xx

ps on cycle day 10 at present still planning to give bms ago this month, but hopefully with less pressure.
DH seems to be wavering a little about adoption, it is a big dicission


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Donna,

Sorry you had such an awful day at work again. You show them who is boss.  It might be harder to be the boss rather than 'one of them' at first, but it will make your life easier in the long run. Perhaps you could talk to the manager (when she is there ) to clarify your respective roles?

Perhaps dh will be clearer about adoption, one way or the other, after the meeting in December. It is a huge decision and commitment (but so is ttc), so it isn't surprising that he might have a few wobbles.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. If nothing else, it is Friday.

Take care,
Emma, xxx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi thanks Emma,


I hope day is a better day to, well it cant be much worse! we are short staffed tommorrow though  but your right it is friday 

I will try to talk to manager again, when she is in which is only about 1 hour a day and there seems to be so much to talk to her about in that time.
I have tried a few times already to try a clearify my role and what is expected of me but it still never seems to be any clearer. will have to plod on I guess, I have no choice.

Night night

Donna xx


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Donna, I've been in a work situation where it's not quite the same but the principle was the same.  I went from being 'one of the team' to managing two of the others.  It was really hard at first as I didn't know how to pitch it and I was trying to be one of them still.  In the end I decided to revert 100% to the management role and although it was hard (and one of them didn't speak to me for a week because I stood my ground on an issue) I got the respect from them that I wouldn't ever have got if I'd tried to be everyone's friend.  It was horrible in the short-term but in the long run it worked out really well.  In fact, the one who didn't speak to me for a week now says I was the best manager she's ever had! (which is praise indeed from this particular individual...!)

Bros - don't think I liked the music that much, just the bottletops on the shoes and trying to look cool!

Claire x


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello people,

Hope you're all having a lovely day. Donna - I hope you have a better day at work today. Polly - I hope you managed to get your Friday off.

I'm waiting for the solicitor to phone and say that contracts have been exchanged.  Supposedly/hopefully by 3pm today. the we'll finally be able to get moving properly underway.

Are you all doing exciting things at the weekend (apart from Harry Potter, Annie    )? 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxx


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

I'm going for a pub meal tonight in a local village pub, then tomorrow we're trailing around garden centres and looking at new bathrooms for bf's house to make it more saleable.  Currently the suite is grey (what you can see through the mould) and the walls, door, skirting board and cupboard are all illumnious yellow.  

Also doing dilators Sat and Sun...

Claire x


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hay Oop!

Emma - Hope everything goes through alright this afternoon. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Claire - Best of luck with the dilators at the weekend. You're doing so well at the moment I am very confident all will be fine. Won't be surprised if #4 comes out the weekend!

Polly- Hope you're feeling better

Donna - Sorry work has been a bit naff lately. I'm sure you'll rise to the challenge amd whip them all into shape!

So as you know I am off to the cinema shortly. I am then going to a race night with the girls tonight. 
Having my nails done in the morning and then going with my friend to collect her wedding dress from the dry cleaners. Hopefully then home for an afternoon kippy snooze before getting ready for the party. 

I shall log on as and when I can over the weekend, but wishing you all a pleasant break until I get back xxxx


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello!

What an afternoon. We've exchanged contracts, and should be completing on Friday. I never want to move house again, or not for a good few years, anyway. I've finally managed to book a removal firm. All the local ones were booked up, and I was beginning to panic, but a nice man from Hemel has come to my aid.

You're weekends sound so lovely, Claire and Annie. Can I swap? Dh has to work (great timing), but from home, so I'm now taking stuff up to MILs on Saturday evening, coming back Sunday. He's going to have to find time to go to the dump and collect boxes from the removal people. Then we can get packing.  

Claire  - your bf's bathroom sounds lovely! No wonder he stays at your house.  Good luck with the dilators, but don't put too much pressure on yourself.

Donna - hope today went better?
Polly - how are you?

Emma, xxx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Annie you always have such lovely weekends planned 

Claire, hope bathroom shopping oesn't cause any arguments between you 

Emma, so glad things are sorted, so do you have a moving date? (sorry if you said and I missed it )

Polly, are you ok? I am conserned now  

Work was better today, manager actually did a full day   so I was able to talk to her about a few things and staffs behaviour towards me.
she said any changes/improvments I need to make to things I should do and I'll have her full support, if staff don't like it then tough!
I'm still not sure though as I need to correct staff on the way the are with the children and how they carry out activities, I know they wont like it! 
but hay got to be done, and as she said I'd be rubbish at my job if i didn't make the adjustments needed! so will have to see if she does all she says she will to support me!

will try bms over weeked - really not feeling like it though, probably not helped by the fact DH has been in the mood a lot this week, which alwasy annoys me 

Looks like I'll be lonely over they weekend  your all so busy.

I have to finish ALL my college work on sunday  

Donna xx


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

I'm having another night of not sleeping. I keep thinking about all the things I have to do, and dh is snoring, and it is freezing cold. I don't remember it being so cold last year?

Donna - sounds like your chat with the manager went really well. I hope she lives up to her promises.
If you don't feel like bms then don't do it, my dear. Feel free to ignore this very nosey question, but are you having 'S' in the non-bms period? If not, perhaps it becomes such a huge deal for both of you that you can't really relax and enjoy it? 

Donna - we're moving on Thursday...probably.  We actually complete the sale on Friday, but removal firms at short notice are rather hard to come by. We've got one coming at lunchtime Thursday, after they finish another job nearby, who will aim to get it all done on the same day, but if not will finish up 1st thing on Friday. I'm off to MILs today to take a carload of stuff that we'll need in the interim. 3.5 hours drive each way on my own; I'll have to sing to myself as I drive to avoid boredom.

Annie - how was HP?
I am getting very excited about the Narnia film too. It looks and sounds fabulous.

Emma, xxxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Greetings, Greetings!

HP was absolutely bloomin marvellous. At first I was feeling they had cut out quite alot but at the end I was glad they had justified earlier parts of the book for the ending as they did it really well. Hopefully seeing it again next week.

Race night was really good too. I won on the first two races and then not another penny after! It was a lovely evening.

Just got back from having my nails done (tapping as we speak!) and collecting my friends dress. About to curl up on the sofa and watch some Dawsons, hopefully snooze and then try and make myself look a little bit alright for thr party!

Emma - After listening about my friends move this week I do not envy you! Hope it all goes well. You're a silly sausage for staying awake worrying about it all. I was taught a good technique in the relaxation classes I attended. They taught you how to push those thoughts to one side until the morning. Takes a bit of practice but just keep telling yourself it's not important right now and you'll think about it tomorrow!

Donna - The chat with your Boss sounds like progress. Do what you feel you need to do to make things better there. They'll thank you in the long run.

Polly - Is everything alright?

Claire- Hope you're having fun!

Ciao for now everyone. Speak to you tomorrow.


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

hello,

Been so busy today but haven't really done anything if that makes sense!

WOW emma didn't realise you were moving so soon, thats reallyquick isn't it? at least it will be all done and dusted by xmas.

Annie glad you enjoyed harry potter, have fun at the party tonight, whats the party for?

Polly I hope you are ok, spoke to DH on yahoo last night and he explained you have been very busy at work - hope your not over working yourself.

Do feel better after talk with boss.

To anwser your question Emma, lately we have been only having 's' at bms time   not what either of us want but its kinda happened.
I am sure we will do something it next few days because I feel more relaxed about it since looking into adoption.

Told our parents about adoption today, neither really said that much but they weren't unsupportive either.

DH is going to see 1 of his sisters tommorrow to try and sort things out with her, we haven't spoken to his sisters for over a year wont bore you with detatils but a serious talk is long over due!

Hopefully he will get things sorted with her, as for his other sister its down to her, DH as already tried so ball is in her court!

All tommorrow holds for me is the dreaded college work 

Donna xx


----------



## laurensia (Nov 19, 2005)

Hello, all woman in this IUI with vaginismus forum, 
Sorry if my post is too long.

I wanna share my true story about vaginimus .

2 months ago is my fisrt anniversary wedding, but I still can not have intercourse with my husband. I try to go to 2 diferent gynea but not help at all for me.They said nothing wrong with me.

I'm not satisfied with my condition and try to serch by google.Finally I found the name of my condition "VAGINISMUS (WHEN INTERCOURSE IS PAIN OR IMPOSSIBLE)" and also I found very good website like:

http://www.vaginismus.com 
From this website you can read and more detail to understand about vaginismus,

This is some expalanation that I 've got from www.vaginismus.com

What is Vaginismus? 
What is wrong with my body? 
Vaginismus is an involuntary contraction of the muscles surrounding the entrance to the vagina, making penetration impossible and/or painful. The primary muscle group involved is called the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group.

(..........so sorry this email can't show the picture, but if you want to see the picture you can go to the website)

On the left, you can see in vaginismus how the PC muscle group spasms, tightly closing the vaginal entrance. On the right, the PC muscle group is not in spasm - the vaginal opening potentially accommodates a man's penis.

The involuntary vaginal reflex can be triggered by attempts at intercourse with the entry or approach of a penis to the vagina and/or by the approach of other objects such as a tampon, a doctor's finger, or even your own fingers. The spasms constrict the vaginal opening making it virtually impossible to have entry. When tightened, attempts to insert anything into the vagina are painful and uncomfortable. There can also be related spasms in other body muscle groups and even halted breathing. Generally, when the attempt to put something in the vagina has ended, the muscles relax and return to normal.

The severity of vaginismus varies from woman to woman. Some are able to insert a tampon and complete a gynecological exam but are unable to insert a penis. Others are unable to insert anything into their vagina.

Vaginismus is NOT due to a physical abnormality of the genitals. Some women wonder if their vagina is too small to fit a penis in or perhaps they have no vaginal hole at all and that is why sex is so difficult. This is understandable especially when the vaginal muscles are in spasm as they can give the appearance that the opening is non-existent. These concerns, however, are erroneous as the genital area is completely normal.

In addition to vaginismus, there are a number of other disorders (e.g. vulvar vestibulitis, pelvic inflammatory disease, etc.) that can result in sexual pain. It is important that a reliable diagnosis is obtained so that the appropriate treatment can be recommended.

.................................ext (you can see more on the website)

I bought a vaginismus treatment kit,just received it at the end of sept. Now I'm still on exercise to insert dilator size 3(diametre 30mm ), I have been sucsess for inserting q.tip, tampon, and first dilator, and second silator.Finally now I know that I have hole in my vagina,and I found the reason why I suffer from vaginismus, so I can reduce my fear of pain when something go inside my vagina.I still must exercise till I can insert dilator number 4(35mm-40mm diametre), then I hope I will be able to have pain free intercourse.

The other good website is : 
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/vaginismus/ 
in this group, I found that I'm not alone in this world with vaginismus. There's so many woman all over the world, like USA , Australia,europe, and asia.
This group, really encouraging and support and help each other, to our goal : OVERCOME VAGINISMUS

ok ,I hope my long letter can help the other who can not consume their married, or still have pain when doing intercourse. And Hopefully by overcome our vaginismus problem we can TTC by natural way,beside TTC by IUI.

My pray for all of you, who have the same Vaginismus problem like me. And for all of you who TTC by IUI.

GBU

Love

Laurensia

(email address removed by Admin)


----------



## laurensia (Nov 19, 2005)

Hello all of woman here,

Hello I'm new here, Ijust wanna introduce  my self.I'm vandarina.
You can read my story above.I'm 27.

Btw may I know how many woman here (who have vaginismus) problem , are now conceived by IUI?
How many are still exercising with dilator??with dilator number?
How many have same vaginismus treatment kit like I have

Please let me know, cause we can encourage each other who hv same vaginismus problem,while trying TTC by IUI.

GBU

Vandarina laurensia


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning Everyone!

Donna - Assume you've got your head firmly in your college work - good lass!  Either that or you & DH are tucked up in bed    

The party last night was my best friends wedding reception. The one who went off to Las Vegas to get hitched recently, did I tell you about that one? Anyhoo it was a great evening. My Mum was invited and she had a whale of a time catching up with all my schoolfriends parents. Bless her, she never gets out anymore so it was nice to see. The dress I bought last weekend to wear went down a storm, with ladies even asking if they could borrow it!!!!
Got back from the hotel about 2 hours ago after making full use of the breakfast facilities! Now catching up on last nights X Factor. 

Emma - Did you manage any sleep last night? Are you bust packing and cleaning right now?

Polly - Hope you're having a day of rest

Claire- How did the bathroom shopping go?

Right I'm going to finish watching X Factor - it's Chico time right now   then I'm going to brave the mysterious world of Toys R Us to get all the kids Xmas pressies. Provided I don't get lost, trampled on or mauled by a huge gaggle of little people, I'll be back this arvo!!!


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello everyone,

Hope you're all OK. I'm so exhausted you wouldn't believe. Forgive me if I make no sense. I drove to MIL's yesterday with stuff we'll need, and back today. Both journeys were *horrible* because there was dense freezing fog all around Oxford, Gloucester, Ross-on-Wye. I've never driven in fog before. Somehow I got there and back in one piece. Dh and I have sent all afternoon packing, but now we've had enough.

Annie - your weekend sounds wonderful and ever so glamorous. Glad you had such a great time.

Donna - hope you got all your college work done, and found some time to relax too. Don't worry too much about your parents' reaction (or lack of reaction) to your news about adoption. You've probably caught them out with it and they'll need time to take the idea on board.

Polly - hope you're OK, my dear. 

Claire - hope you had a lovely weekend with your bathroom and dilators. 

Laurensia - hello and welcome. We're at different stages with the vag. Three or four of us have broadly got over it, and one is making great progress with the dilators. You'll find our stories by looking at old posts. Sorry I don't have much time to go into my story at the moment. I'll come back to you once my house-moving is under control.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Yeah I have finally finished college work, well I am still not upto date but have completed what I need to post to my tutor  

It really helped having my friend over as althoughwe are doing a different course we were able to help each other and I got far more done than I do on my own.

Emma, I order you lots of rest for tommorrow, I iknow you probably have loads to do but you must look after yourself, we don't want you ill over christmas.

Annie, your weekend sounded lovely, DH and I are just thinking about xmas shopping today need to sort out what I am buying who as like to be organised when I hit the shops

Claire, how was your weekend? how did dilators go?

Polly, big big   for you and DH I know you both need them. hows job hunting?

so pleased I have made a little head way with college work only have 3 weeks till next study day so still have loads to do, but I think that will be the case for the next year, I will never finish work because as I hand 1 lot in I will receive another load.

DH is just cooking dinner then I think we will watch a film before bed. hoping for soem bms tonight but not forcing myself, there is no pressure this month  

DH sorted things with his sister too so we will see what happens form here.

Hope you all have a lovely eveing

Donna xx


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

Emma, your journey sounded horrendous!  I hate driving long distances on my own.  

I only have to go to Birmingham on Thursday (weather allowing...) and I really don't want to even do that!  Dilators - did #2 and #3 again and #2 is definitely now easy and #3 is definitely not as bad as it was.  Not ready for #4 though, definitely, the sight of it is freaking me out still.  Bf is still being patient but has his own ejac problems now probably through the stress of my dilators!  

Bathroom - he really has got poor taste at times   but I've managed to avert the particularly awful decisions which I'm convinced he got from his mother    Anyway, it's not ordered yet but I seem to have changed his mind on the suite, the floor, the tiles and the paint colour... !!!!!!!!!  Now, if I can just keep him away from his mother before he orders it...  

Donna, glad the college work is going ok.  I recently finished studying part-time and I know how difficult it can be to motivate yourself and even keep up when life gets in the way.  Hang in there!  It will be worth it in the end!!

Annie - glad HP was good, I am sooooo excited about seeing it next weekend.  Hope my friend got our tickets this weekend, going to mail her in a minute to ask.  

Polly, hope all's ok with you?

Laurensia, I am the one who is working to overcome the vag.  I've been on here for a couple of months and in that time I've progressed from #1 (which I found easy at the start from trying dilators before) to #3 (if I use #2 first).  Finding #4 a bit alarming to look at at the moment, but I felt that way about #3 until about a fortnight ago.


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning All

God, I am tired today. All my own fault of course for doing too much this weekend. Hopefully off for a massage tonight. I got given a voucher for my birthday and am trying to get an appointment or a full body hot stone therapy massage. Sounds good doesn't it!

Having a really odd day today. I have had three pieces of bad news from friends. A lady I work with lost her Father at the weekend which has brought back horrendous memories for me. I know this lady very well and her son is DH's best friend (incestuous sounding I know!) so quite sad today. Also I have heard from a good friend and it looks like she might be having yet another miscarriage. Very sad goings on here today.

However- Xmas is coming, I've started shopping, it might snow at the weekend and I'm off up North on Saturday to visit my friend. So all is not bad

Wishing you all a lovely Monday


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Annie - I'm sorry to hear you are having such a day of sad news.  Why do these things always happen at the same time? How far along is/was your friend?

I would love your massage right now.

Claire - you are doing so well with the dilators. Don't worry about bf - I think that's quite normal for partners of people in our situation. My dh had problems the first few times we were finally able to have sex. He's probably so stressed and worried about it all, and desperate not to hurt you.
Good for you on the bathroom - men know nothing about these things!

Donna, Polly - hope you're OK.

I'm off to do more packing. Annie - I tried, and failed, to take your advice about not sleeping. I woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. I got up properly at 5.30 as I was so fed up. I'm knackered now though. I hope I'll be able to sleep properly once this moving hell is over.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well Emma, I did say it took practice! Early night for you tonight.

Couldn't get a massage booked so going Xmas shoping instead!


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

I wish I could start my early night right now. I'm dead on my feet, but there is so much to do. Dh went to work at 5.30 this morning so that he could come home at a reasonable time to help. I'm not sure he'll be good for much either.

Enjoy Christmas shopping, Annie, and treat yourself to something lovely too.


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well if you insist Emma. It would be rude not to!

It's looking a bit foggy out there though, so drive down will be interesting!


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Not much to report from me today (makes a change eh )

Very tiring day at work and parents were late too  but these things happen.

Annie hope you enjoyed shopping and treated youself, sorry to hear about all the bad news.

Emma, please make sure you get some rest  

Claire, you are coming on so fast, you go girl! don't worry about BF My DH had same problem and if its it been a littel while he still does now, so quite common. I think its becuase the focus is in us for so long when it turns to them the feel very nervous about hurting us or undoing all the good we have done does that make sense?

Polly, how are you doing hun? been thinking about you

DH are going to have a BIG talk tonight   nothing serious, well it is but its nothing bad. we just need to talk about ttc, adoption etc. DH has been doing is usual of saying nothing so tonight I will drag it ou tof him  

Donna xx


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Thanks for all your supportive messages, it's really helping.  I had a night off the dilators last night, but am going to do #2 and #3 again tonight, am going to try #3 without alcohol for the first time, will follow previous advice and make sure I have a relaxing bath first.  I'm definitely not ready for #4 yet I don't think.  

Bf - yes, maybe that's it, it's the stress of my situation.  Obviously we haven't tried to have sex yet but it's worrying that he's now having problems.  My gp does like to remind me about fertility rates dropping from the age of 30 which is always heartwarming to hear   (not!).  

Donna, hope your big talk goes ok tonight.

Annie, Polly, hope you're ok.

Emma, hope you slept ok last night!

Got to get down to some work, I have some really stressful meetings today...

Claire x


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Morning!

Bit later than usual for me, but I had to pop to Court quickly this morning. The drive home from shopping last night was a bit hairy to say the least. I had to go down to 40 miles an hour as the fog was so bad. Had a lovely time with two of my friends shopping, chatting and laughing though so it was all worth it. Got another 2 pressies bought so we're getting there!

Donna - How was chat with DH? Are things any clearer now?

Polly - Big hug to you

Emma - How are you doing today?

Claire - Well done you. You're doing brilliantly. Have you tried using the dilators in the bath? I used to use my speculum in the tub when I first started out and I found it very successful. Give it a go.

Right, down to some work now. I'll be back later xxx


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

Hope you're all fighting fit today. I slept right through last night - hoorah! - but I'm still rather tired. Never mind, it'll all be over soon. I've been packing since 7.30 this morning and have stopped for a banana sandwich. Much more packing still to do, and I have to paint a wall behind some bookcases.

Donna - how did the big chat go?

Claire - you are doing so well. I reckon 'proper' sex is easier than #4, so you're nearly there.
Good luck with your meetings.

Annie - you sound ever so chirpy today. Are you feeling normal again now? You _still _ don't have a ticker. 

Polly - I'm thinking of you and dh. Hope you're doing OK.

Back to the boxes......


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

I was hoping no one would notice that I haven't put a ticker up yet. I have a confession - I'm too scared! I'm not feeling very pregnant right now. No sickness, No bump, nothing! I feel my usual old self and I'm still in my normal clothes. I'm having that panic again where I don't believe it's happening or something's gone wrong.

Anyway I'm exactly 1 week behind Emma so if you ever wanted to know you can check there and knock a week off for me!

OK, I'm ready for it - let the telling off commence!


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hi Annie,

I won't mention the ticker again (or at least not until you say you definitely have a huge kicking bump). I quite understand, my dear. If it is any consolation, I don't feel pg any more either, just normal me again. I've been like that for the past week or two. I don't really have a bump either. I can see one in the evening, but never earlier in the day. I certainly don't think anyone who didn't know would guess I was pg. I have filled out though, and don't have any waist at all. I can't fit into any of my old clothes. I just look like I've eaten to much junk food (which I probably have ) Maybe because I'm so short the growth is concentrated in a smaller area so it is more immediately obvious? Could be that I put on so much weight early on because I felt yucky and couldn't do all the exercise I used to? Don't worry too much Annie. You're going to be like one of those gorgeous celebrities who stay stay tall and thin but with a tiny neat bump.


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Mmh, the banana sandwich sounded nice!!  I had a healthy chicken and lettuce sandwich and cherry tomatoes but now I'm just finishing off a pack of custard creams  ... comfort food as I have one meeting left today and it's with some really awful people...

Back to my Christmas shopping online... amazing what you can snap up on ebay.


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Emma - Thanks for that. I feel a little bit more "normal" although I sent a message to my Midwife friend asking her to pop in with her doppler tonight!!!! I just look like I've spent a few weeks eating junk food. My belly is a little bit pot, but nothing substantial. I know I am probably crazy and worrying over nothing, but these are scary times my friends!!!

Claire - I cannot believe you are Xmas shoping on EBay!!!! Do you not enjoy wondering around the shops listening to Christmas songs, carol singers and the Salvation Army band??


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello again,

I would do all my shopping on the internet if I could. It is so much easier. I do like going into town and soaking up the festive atmosphere, but I just end up buying things for me. 

Claire - I can't remember when I last ate some custard creams. I am going through a major jaffa cake phase at the moment.

More boxing now....


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

And there was me worrying I would have missed out on oodles of chat last night! Where are you all?

Well, Madwife friend came over last night and we heard the heartbeat. Uterus is about the right size for 14 + weeks so it is a case that I'm just not showing yet. 

Once she'd left I felt so much more relaxed and promptly went to bed at 8:30. Slept for Britain!

Hope everyone is alright?


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Polly


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Jaffa cakes - mmh, don't give me ideas!!  I will 'look' pregnant if I continue to eat the way I am!

Dilators - did #3 only last night, without doing #2 first which I'm interpreting as progress.  Took a few mins to get in and was a bit uncomfortable at times but no actual pain as such - also moved it in and out and all about a bit which is a first for #3.  I also practised clenching my muscles which was quite a noticeable difference (and that did hurt) so I'm assuming my muscles were mostly relaxed in the first place?  #4 still looks too scary, think I'll stay with #3 for a while.  Thanks Emma for saying that sex is easier than #4, that helped a lot!!!

Ebay - but there are bargains on there!!  To reassure, I am doing proper Christmas shopping too.  Going to Lakeside with a friend on Sunday for the day (yippee!) and also going to Milton Keynes on 3rd Dec, to finish off the present buying.  But, yes, usually end up buying things for myself mostly.

Bf and I are now thinking about keeping one of our 2-bed houses for renting out and buying a 3rd bed to live in.  Anyone have any experience of renting out a house?

Claire x


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Claire

Well done again with the dilators. That is definite progress if you went straight to number 3. I still think you could be ready to give number 4 a go you know, but ignore me because you're doing fantastically and I'd hate to push you!!! I promise it is just encouragement and not nagging!

I loved the shopping at Lakeside. Not made it down that far for some time now, but it was a good day out last time I visited.

Can't say I've ever rented a house, but my friend is currently and she did it in the past too. The first time was when she went to Oz and she used an Agent to oversee it all. That worked well and everything went to plan. This time she's renting it privately to a collague and so far so good there too. 
Remember you need to get permission to rent from your mortgage lender and make sure your house insurance is up to date if you go ahead. If you have any questions you'd like me to ask her I'd be happy to x


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi

Thanks Annie  .  I do have a question actually, which is whether the landlord has to pay for the water bills.  When I was a uni student I think I remember that our landlord was legally obligated to pay the water bills??  We were thinking (and it is v tentative at this stage) that we would oversee it as I'd be loathe to pay someone else when we'd live so close by anyway.  (and I meant 3 bed not 3rd bed...)

I'm not sure about #4 but will give it some thought tomorrow when I do #3 again.  Depends on how I feel I suppose at the time.  Haven't managed #3 without alcohol yet but maybe I don't need to.

Lakeside - I love it too.  Very excited.  Also, have Harry Potter tickets for Friday night, just hoping it doesn't snow/blizzard so hard we can't go!!  I think I'd walk the 6 miles if need be!

Claire x


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

hello people,

Hope you're all well. I've had removal people here this morning taking away most of our furniture etc. They've left the PC, sofa, TV and bed - what more do I need. I could grow to like minimalism.
Now I have the mammoth task of cleaning and tidying in the aftermath - the dirt/dust created is incredible.
They'll be back tomorrow morning now for the last few bits and bobs, and then I'm off to MIL's. The end of an era.......

Annie - glad you got reassurance from the madwife. I'm seeing one on Friday (MIL arranged it) and I'm both scared and excited. i think I'll have to have my blood tests repeated. The hospital here lost one of them (iron levels).
Once I'm at MILs I'll have plenty of time to chat in the evenings, Annie.

Claire - no experience of renting out a house, I'm afraid. We looked into it recently, as an alternative to selling, but our mortgage lender wasn't keen. Don't know the ins and outs as dh spoke to them.
You're doing so well with the dilators. What I meant to add yesterday is that #4 is probably close in size to bf (it was to my dh anyway), but when it comes to sex you'll probably be more excited and the juices will start flowing, so that all helps. I personally found the dilators a very clinical and non-erotic experience.

Polly - hope you're OK. Isn't tomorrow testing day for you?    

Donna - hope you're OK.

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Claire - I shall ask my friend about the water bills for you and let you know. Also guess where I'm off to tonight - seeing Harry Potter again!!! I'm going with a friend who couldn't make it last week and I felt bad going without her. Maybe I'll notice more second time around!

Emma - How sad that you're almost ready to leave your home... but off to bigger, better and new exciting things. So are you not going to be online from tomorrow?, sorry I can't remember what you told me.

Donna - Is everything alright your end?

Polly -   right back at you. Hope you & DH are doing alright xxx


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Still not having a good time - as you can imagine. Evn worse at the mo, cos I just had vegetable cupasoup and some maltesers - do NOT go together!

Have applied for some jobs, and have some others to apply for. 

Could test tomorrow, but believe it or not, it has been such a mad week, I could easily leave it to the weekend (NOOOOO! I hear you cry!). I'm not sure if I want to be pg this month, or maybe I just don't beleive I could be after all the stress! However, no phantom pg symptoms, and maybe a little bit of af-on-way feeling.

Annie - enjoy HP again!
Emma - must be a funny feeling in your house today. Hope you are ok.
Donna - how did the Big Talk go?
Clare - well done! Keep up the good work (Going to measure my DH up against a 4 tonight to compare him with Emma's!  )
Laurensia - Hi! Is that your first or family name, I wasn't sure.

Love
Polly


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hiya,

Just passing through. Still soooooo much to do, but the end is in sight.

Polly - good to have you back. I would say _don't test_ yet - leave it until about Sunday (I waited for 4 days after af was due). Then if af hasn't turned up  you're more likely to get a bfp (although if you didn't it would be even more disappointing, admittedly). Waiit until you ca't bear not knowing any longer (3.30 on a Saturday morning for me ).

Annie - I will be offline tomorrow, although I just may set it up tomorrow evening. If not it wil be Monday. I can't bear to pack up the PC, so I'm doing it last thing tonight before bed.
I've also managed to break the home phone and I've lost my mobile, so I'm feeling a bit cut off from the outside world today. 

I need a cup of tea and a chocolate digestive or 3 now.


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly - Nice dinner concoction you had there   Keeping my fingers crossed for the job hunt and for a BFP. These things often happen at a time when things are all up in the air!

Emma - Best of luck with the move tomorrow!!!

Ciao for tonight everyone. Speak to you all in the morning xxx


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello,

Yet another night of not sleeping.   Hopefully that wil pass soon.

Annie - you have a ticker (I guess you know that though). 

Hope I can be back with you all soon.

Emma, xxxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Well, might be chatting to myself today with Emma not around in the sunlight hours  

Hope everyone is doing well today xxx


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

I'll talk to you Annie!

I can't believe that I said yesterday that I didn't want to be pg this month!!!!  

I do! I do! I do! I think I was just worried about getting a new job knowing that I was pg, but I'm over it this morning. Time to look after number one, I think!

Emma - thinking about you, hope you are back on line soon!

Donna - where are you? 

Love
Polly


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Emma - the not sleeping... have you tried this, it usually works for me eventually...

While you lie there, concentrate on your breathing. If DH is asleep and you can hear him breathe, try to match your breathing to his. You will probably need to slow your breathing down a lot.

Whether you can do this or not, then have something in your head that you say in your head as you breathe in and out. It could be on the in breath: _I am going to sleep_, and on the out breath: _my body is completely relaxed_. Or it could be: _I am breathing in; I am breathing out_. If you say it in your head slowly, you match your breathing to the length of the phrase. It does 2 things: slows your breathing, and uses up your brain so you can't think about other stuff. You might well drift off into worrying, but when you realise this, go right back to the "mantra".

I like saying _My body is completely relaxed _ on the out breath, as I think about it while I say it, and conciously relax a bit each breath - tense face is the worst thing to keep me awake. It might take 5 or 6 breaths before my face feels relaxed, then I think about shoulders or tum. If you tense up again, you'll catch it on another breath.

Let me know if it helps!

Love
Polly


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Polly! Thanks for keeping me company today. I didn't think you meant what you said yesterday. Any signs or symptoms of things going either way yet? Are you going to test tomorrow or hold off for a few days?

Fantastic advice you gave Emma for sleeping. That's one of the techniques I was taught but was hard to convey over e-mail. You did it beautifully.

Donna - Where are you indeed? Is everything alright? I'm getting a bit worried about you.


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again people,

I've sneaked onto MIL's PC whilst she is out. We moved out of our house and I made it here in one piece. I am shattered now. 
Polly - thank you so much for the sleeping advice. I will try it out tonight, if I need it. 
I used to talk to bits of my body  , saying (not out loud, I hasten to add) 'go to sleep toes', 'go to sleep feet' etc and work upwards. It hasn't worked recently as I tend to get distracted worrying about something or other.
I have tried matching my breathing to dh, but he seems to breathe far too rapidly. I don't know if that is a bad thing in terms of his health. He also is snoring far more of late (or perhaps I'm noticing it more because I'm awake).
I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow.

I hope af hasn't arrived for you. Have you decided to hold off with the testing? Is dh a nervous wreck?

Annie, Donna, Claire - hello.

I'll be back tomorrow. MIL wants me to cook for her tomorrow evening - a terrifying prospect. 

Take care every one,
Emma, xxxxxxx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello everyone,

SO much to catch up on its only been a few days.

Annie I love you ticker!

Emma, so sorry I missed your move how does it feel know youve done it?

Polly, good luck for testing if you do    this may be the perfect time you never know.

Claire you are bloody amazing the way you are speeding through the dilators well done 

Talk with DH was really good and really needed! 
as you know we have decided on adoption but had decided to carry on ttc fr a month or so well thats changed now.

WE are going full steam ahead with adoption! what do you girls think? I value your opioions - be honest.
Dh and I have never had sex for us! its always been about having a baby even when we have had sex when I am not ovulating, its still been practice for when I am- does that make sence?
we will have unprotected sex for a while so if something happens it happens but we are no longer actively ttc - big and scary decision! once we get more into adoption we will use protection then when it feels right to have a second child we will ttc naturally again.

the adoption process will be no picnic and in soem ways harder than ttc, I hope you will all be with us every step of the way. I know not all of you think we are making the right decision but I know you will still be supportive.

Donna xx


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi all

I've just popped online this eve quickly as I've been at an exhibition all day and had to check work emails... off to do dilators in a mo, now I've had the obligatory two glasses of wine   and before I change my mind!  Bf is at football training so have the required peace and quiet.

Emma, glad you've moved out successfully.  Hope it goes ok with MIL.  Yes, I've done a mental comparison of bf to dilator #4 (didn't have the heart to whip #4 out or grab a tape measure...) and I reckon he's about the same size.

Annie, I can't express in words how jealous I am that you've seen HP twice!!!!!  I cannot wait until tomorrow night, and I think my friend is equally excited.  I've already told bf that if it's great, he has to take me for the second viewing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (there was silence, so I'm not sure if that's a yes...)  

Donna, from what I've read, you'll make a terrific mum to someone who very much needs one.  Does it have to be start adoption route OR ttc?  I'm not at that juncture yet so I suppose I don't know the ins and outs of it all.

Polly, I hope things go well for you when you do decide to go for testing.

Hope you all have great weekends.  Won't be on tomorrow as working from home, from my parents house and my dad is *very* nosey .

Claire x


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

How are we all this fine snowy morning?


Emma - Glad the house move went well

Polly - Hello my lovely. Sending you a huge hug today xxx

Claire-  How did you get on with dilators last night?

Donna - I cried when I read your mail this morning. I am sooo happy for you & DH. I think what you are planning to do is amazing. Whichever little person gets to go and live with you is incredibly lucky. It's really exciting!


----------



## goblin1975 (Oct 6, 2005)

Hi Annie

Not great.  Just did #3 again but it hurt going in and for a few minutes (not a huge amount but enough).  After a while it stopped hurting, but I wasn't happy about it at all.  Feel a bit deflated!

Wasn't going to get on here today but my dad's busy doing man stuff with a drill so he's not poking about.

Claire


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Claire - don't worry too much, even sex isn't great each and every time for experts! Don't worry about it, your mood and time of the month etc will affect the experience. Just concentrate on the times when it is easier.

Donna - great news about your decision - you'll make a great mum to someone who really needs it.

My news is bad - did a test this morning, and it was deffo negative. Just waiting for AF to arrive. I'll phone the clinic later, as they were talking about upping my meds this time.

Speak later.

Polly


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Claire - Don't feel deflated, like Polly says we all have off days. Do you use any lube? I always had to use some with the speculum and with DH every now and again. I found it quite helpful on some days when it wasn't playing ball. Might be worth a go?

Polly - I am so sorry HPT said no this morning. I thought I had a feeling this month that it would be the result we all want for you. Let us know what the clinic say. Are you doing anything nice this weekend?


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

Polly so sorry it was negitive this morning   to you and DH, wish there was something more I could say or do  

Claire, don't be disheartened by last night, you have been going great one little blip in the sceame if things isn't so bad hun, although I know how it feels at the time! just think of all the progress you have made and don't feel bad I am sure it was a one off.

Annie, I take it you have snow where you are?

Off work today, again which as its my 2nd day off in 7 weeks guess I may get the sack 
Just couldn't face going in, haven't been sleeping well and was to exhusted to go! there is a tummy bug going round the nursery so I phoned in adn said I had that!

Just keep havind bad dreams, I'm not usually one to dream but can't stop at the moment!
Guess it all means we are making the wrong decision? but I feel its the only choice we have I couldn't go on as we were, but I'm a nervous wreck now anyway so what difference does it make

Donna xx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Afternoon

Donna - How strange that you're having bad dreams now that you and DH have sorted where you want to go with things. Don't read anything into it though matey,all will be fine.

It's been a really slow day at work today. Thanks god I'm finishing at 4pm today. I'll log on when I get home and see if anyone's online x


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hello

didn't really get very far with the clinic, I kept leaving messages, and finally got a call back that went straight to my voice mail saying the nurse was leaving, but would leave a prescription for clomid for me at the pharmacy. Eh? I've still got two months supply left! So I have to call on Monday to see what is next. Not so bothered as AF isn't here yet, so with a bit of luck Monday may be day 2 anyway.

I don't know what day we would start injectables if we are going to do them.

Anyway... got DN staying this weekend, planning to take her to Camden Market tomorrow, if I can prise here away from The Lad.

Love
Polly


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hello,

How is everyone?

Polly, has AF arrived? how was the market did you get anything nice?

not feeling great today just feeling really down, dremas aren't helping either as not sleeping well.
DH and I had 's' today although we didnt  I just didn't want to go that far! we had fun and were both satisfied which I guess is the most important thing but I didn't want to have 's'!
I guess if I am honest I have never wanted to have 's' and only did it for a baby.
I know it may just be a blip and I don't have to have full sex everytime but feel I have taken a huge leap back!

Feels like sex will always be an issue for me, when all I want is to be NORMAL

Donna xx


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello everyone,

Sorry to have been awol for so long - I haven't connected my PC yet and MIL's PC wasn't working properly. I'm trying to read your posts and catch up, but have to keep closing the page when someone walks into the room!

Polly - I am so, so sorry that it was another BFN.   It is so unfair. I really thought it would be your month. Perhaps all the stress was just too much for your body. Next time it just has to work. Good luck with the clinic tomorrow. How is everything else? Have you come up with a grand plan yet?

Donna - I'm so pleased that your big chat went well and you have come to a decision about adoption. You'll make brilliant parents. Nightmares are probably because you have so much stress at the moment. Don't worry too much about 's' - it'll get easier with time as you adapt to having it without the pressure of ttc.

Annie - hello. How are you? What exciting things are you doing this weekend?

Claire - hope you have/had a lovely weekend.

Got to dash. I'll try and pop back with less subterfuge later.

Take care everone, Emma, xxxxxx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

welcome back Emma, nice to have you back

Donna xx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Hi Everyone

We've just got back from visiting some friends in Rochdale. Bit of a trek, but it was worth it. Just scoffed a huge fresh cream scone and once I'm done here I'm going upstairs to sort out our paperwork and shred a mountain of correspondence I've been stock piling for months.

Polly - How are you doing? It might be worth popping on another IUI thread to ask about injectables? I don't think it would hurt to wait until Monday to check with the clinic. I started Clomid on day 5 or 6 once because AF fell over a bank holiday and I couldn't ask anyone.
Hope you've had a chance to spend some time with your Niece 

Emma - How are things going at MIL's?

Claire - Hope you're having a nice weekend with BF

Donna - What's making you feel down do you think? I thought you were really happy about deciding to go down the adoption route? Are you having second thoughts?, worried about the process? or is something else actually playing on your mind at the moment? I really thought that deciding to adopt would give you some peace of mind. I'm sorry to hear that somethings not quite right. Can we help?

I'll try and pop back in a couple of hours and see if anyone's around xxxx


----------



## Donna Taylor (Dec 23, 2004)

Hi Annie,

your weekend sounds lovely as normal

Not really sure what is playing on my mind, think I am down about xmas as are really struggling with money so I can't buy people what I would really like to, plus DH may have to wait and buy for each other in teh new year  hardly the same is it.
I am worried about the adoption process and I go from feeling its 100% the right decision to feeling its not! what if I feel I have missed out on not being pregnant? but then on the other hand who is to say I'd be pregnant anywany? I guess thats what the dreams are about.
1 dream i keep having is that because I haven't given birth to the child I can never remember its birthday!
anyway back to money, things may be all right in the new year as hopefully DH is getting a good pay rise and should recieve a bonus in feb, buts thats the things its all if's and maybes nothing is definate and thats what I can't stand.
Just feel a little out of control right now and coming from a contol freak thats not good.
Hoping this is making sense? I am just typing as it comes to me and in no particular order as want to try and give you some insight as to how I am feeling. I really don't know why I feel like I do.
Don't feel happy at work but again I am really not sure why? Think I am going to give up college course because the workload on top of work really is to much, I cant give teh course 100% so i'd rather not bother, plus if we adopt and get a child qucikly then I'd gice up work before I'd finished the course anyway and I can't do the cource if I'm not working so kinda thinking whats the point of starting it??
I do feel really nervous about the adoption, do you think that is normal?
is the right thing? it wont be easy. what if after we adopt I/we still have a hole? - because I haven't been pregnant. On the other hand adoption might be wondefull which if I am honest I think it will be just keep having nagging doubts! Just want to get to this meeting but its not for over another week, this really is worse than the 2ww!

Feel I have been thorugh so much over the last few years - more than most and I just want the happy ending.
All I want is to comfortable emotionally and finacially.

Hope my witterings made some sort of sense

Donna xx


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi all

Donna, your dreams about the baby seem perfectly normal to me, I don't think dreams are particularly mystical, they are just about our brains sorting out information, and you have gone through a lot of thought processes recently that need organising. There's as much uncertainty with adoption as ttc, and you are bound to have some fears, plus you know there are going to be different things to be worried about. The actual thing about not remembering the birthday is no big deal, that's just a worry, and maybe a bit of grieving that you won't be there on that special day. But you WILL be there on the special day that you adopt, so your child can have 2 "birthdays" and you will of course remember both!  

I know that you know all this anyway! If dreams were real, I would have a unbearably wise and knowledgable baby - cos my dream babies always look at me as if they know everything and are always sickeningly wise and patronising (no comments please!!  ). A bit scary like that baby in the "4400", if you ever watch that!

So dream away, it's important! Are you having more dreams than normal? I usually find that about three days in to a holiday, I start dreaming for England, and rarely remember dreams otherwise. I "mega-dream" for about three or four nights, and then it settles down. Clearly something to do with stress and relaxation, so maybe if you are having loads of dreams, you have come to a point where you are relaxing because you have made a decision?

My worries at the end of last week about starting another round of treatment were in vain, as AF hasn't started yet, just a little bit of spotting so far. However, I'm not going to get excited, as the first IUI I had in April/May behaved just like this, with AF arriving on 17dpo (which today is). 

Hope you all had a good weekend. I am still sorting out my office and dealing with stuff like that.  

Love Polly


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Morning all,

I have the house to myself so I can visit FF without fear of interruption.  MIL is a local councillor and there's a by-election coming up this week. She has an endless stream of political odd-bods staying here at the moment, which makes the place feel a bit strange. I'll be glad when Friday comes and they've all vanished. They're all perfectly pleasant but a little bit obsessive.

I'm going to go into town shortly for some retail therapy. I desperately need some new clothes. I have three pairs of identical jeans which I've been wearing in rotation and, erm, that's it.

Polly - hope you get on OK with the clinic today. Has af finally got going now?

Annie - glad you enjoyed Rochdale, lass. 

Claire - hope you enjpyed HP

Donna - sorry you're feeling down.  I think/hope you'll feel a bit happier after the meeting next week. 
I don't think you'd feel a if you adopted. I reckon looking after a child, particularly one that was older than a baby (it is very unusual to be able to adopt a baby these days isn't it? I'm sure I read that somewhere when I looked into it), would be so time-consuming that you won't have the time or energy to worry about what-ifs.
Just curious - if you go ahead with the adoption process, and got a bfp before it all went through, would you still carry on with the adoption? 

I have to go now. MIL wants me to prepare bedrooms for the next batch of  political activists. 

Have a lovely day,
Emma, xxxxxxx


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Wow! There's alot to get through here this morning Ladies! I love these days. They make my day at work alot more pleasant. I'd rather use my brain cells on helping you than plodding through my In Tray!

Sooo...

Emma - Exactly how many bedrooms does MIL have? Are you living in a mansion right now? How about purchasing a nice skirt and some black trousers? black trousers go with everything and are most flattering. I must appeal to you not to purchase dungarees no matter how comfy they look!

Polly - Are you going to call the clinic today and check on the level of clomid you're going for this time and about injectables?

Donna - No wonder you're having dreams right now. You've got so much whizzing round your mind. Would you stop ttc naturally once you've adopted? I mean - you & DH can have unprotected S permanantley now and you never know, one day it might just work. Let's not forget that there's no reason that we know of that is stopping it from happening naturally. There's every chance that one day you'll experience being pregnant - if you wanted to? Is there a chance that you're doubting ttc naturally or even giving treatment a go first?

We need to have a proper chat I think and bash it all out. I'll be online tonight and tomorrow. I'll try and catch you and we can go through everything together, only if you want to of course and if it would help?


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie - whoohooo! Start the week with determination and enthusiasm!!!! Glad you are using it for us, and not your employer    . I'm writing 15 references this morning, so I'm full of brilliant adjectives....

I will call the clinic today probably, although until AF actually starts, I don't suppose there is anything to do but find out.

Emma - sounds like you are living in interesting times! Did DH spend the weekend at MIL's too, or did you go on your own? I'd go with Annie and say black trousers, but not so vehement about the dungarees - except of course that in this weather they are not so practical as you have to strip almost naked to have a wee! I remember that from hitch-hiking from Berlin one January when I was younger, and getting stuck for hours near Antwerp not getting a lift one evening. Made trying to have a discreet wee in the undergrowth very difficult and cold! But then, I guess that might not come up for you!

Have you got your PC set up yet? How are the dogs doing? Is there somewhere nice to walk them, or are you having to deal with snowdrifts?

Got to get back to my references, although with all this talk about weeing, I think I need to dash - at my age, you know, it doesn't take much....!  

Love
Polly


----------



## baby maggie (Jul 26, 2005)

Sorry for being stupid but was curious to know what Vaginismus is


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Hi Natalie

Not a stupid question at all, it's just something that isn't talked about much in general. It's bascially an involuntary contraction of the pelvic muscles that means that penetration is difficult, painful or downright impossible. There is a longer description on page 6 of this thread that you could go back to easily. Of course it is a very distressing condition but we "regular" posters on this thread have overcome or are overcoming it with each others' encouragement. Our stories differ a bit from each others', but there are enough similarities to offer support and we have had some great success stories!

Love
Polly


----------



## AnnieR (Nov 22, 2004)

Polly- You are one of the funniest people I know. Just had a few glares across the office as I snorted a bit too loud whilst reading your post!

Hope you made it to the loo in time. I also now have images of you wrestling with a pair of dungarees on a cold night in Berlin  

Good luck with your references! I always refer to the thesaurus in times like this and let the adjectives leap off the screen!


----------



## pollyhoping (Jun 15, 2004)

Annie - you are too kind!  

Yes, I did make it in time   - mind you, the loo here would give a January night beside a Dutch motorway a run for it's money - brrr!

You seem as much in the mood for work as I am, I have too much on my mind, and today there seems to be scope for setting up as a consultant. Just need someone to pay me the big bucks!

Right - I am going to get at least 2 more references done before I check back here again!

Love
Polly


----------



## emmadaffodil (Apr 7, 2004)

Hello again,

Polly - you do make me laugh  
Dungarees are a definite no-no. I have no desire to look like Bob the Builder (although I wouldn't mind his building/fixing skills).

Just got back from shoping and I didn't buy trousers of any description, although I did buy a rather nice top. This is not the best place in the world for buying clothes and it is hopeless for stunted people such as myself. I may have to resort to the old lady section of M&S and get something with an elasticated waist. How sexy that will be.
I did buy lots of very unsexy unwired bras. There has to be an untapped market for lovely maternity stuff. Polly - if you want an alternative career choice perhaps you could set up just such a business.

Being a consultant sounds like a fabulous idea. Isn't it very lucrative? I reckon it would be hard for you to work for someone else after having been your own boss. Is dh looking for a new career too or is that it for him?

Annie  - not a mansion.  There are 6 bedrooms though. 

Still haven't set up my PC. I'm going to do it now and sort out lots of things to do with moving. I actually have some work to do this week, but I keep putting it off. At the weekend I told myself that I was too tired, but today I'm just being lazy, pure and simple.

There is something wrong with the phones/phone sockets here so connections aren't as good as they should be. Although MIL has broadband, as soon as someone phones you lose the internet connection. So annoying. 

Bye for now,
Emma, xxxxxx


----------



## Holly C (Sep 22, 2004)

Hi there all!

Hope you are all well. New home this way >>>

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,42881.msg532001.html#msg532001

H xx


----------

