# What do you do when it gets too much?



## PinkPeacock (Nov 9, 2006)

We are in limbo - had a frostie round a couple of years ago and I now have no ovaries so no more fresh rounds. Going for donor "when I've lost weight" which is for some reason, impossible. Sometimes I wonder if we should go straight for adoption. I just want to be a mum so much. 


I just get so sad and don't know how to handle it. I've had several curses of CBT to deal with various things but it's limited to however many hours the NHS deems suitable, and whilst we've discussed fertility, they'll all basically said that until I am a mum, I'm not going to feel happy which rather took me aback. 


I want to be happy, and have tried the whole fake it to you make it style but all that does is mean I'm acting ok on the outside but feel so sad inside. 


I keep thinking that if I just stick with it I can lose weight and do one more go in Spain, but until then I need a way to function. What's the answer? How do you all keep going?


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## angelica_wales (Oct 10, 2012)

Pinkcarys - I don't have an answer for you as everyone is different.  The overwhelming need to be a mummy is with us all but the emotional pressure can really take it's toll  

We all wear that mask to look happy on the outside but slowly dying inside each time you hear of a friend who is pregnant... 

A break to let yourself lose some weight and get ready for donor eggs  might be just what you need to recharge your batteries.  I don't know if you've had fertility counselling specifically but I found  that it helped me to put things in perspective.  She even suggested adoption instead of DE.  

There's a weight loss board on here which you can request access to - you may find other ladies who are struggling too. Do you need to lose a lot of weight? My clinic in Prague didn't have any criteria - I think most clinics aren't as strict with DE. 

The "limboland" board in here is very supportive - the are ladies there who are at various stages - some are in limbo for different reasons and some have been in limbo and are now pregnant.  

I hope you find the strength to carry on and more importantly to decide what's right for you. 

Take care 

Angelica 
xx


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## Bela (Mar 26, 2014)

Pinkcarys
I'm going through similar thing, faking it: happy on the outside, sad on the in. I'm 35, been trying for 3years now,  had 2failed cycles, 3 miscarriages...I'm not feeling so positive but I will keep going until it happens for me (or till my good health allows). It's tough but what else can we do but try to relax, hope for the best and not forget that we also have a life to live.
Take care and good luck!x


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