# Pregnancy and Parenting After Infertility - Donor recipients - Part 19



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Fresh start ladies.

Happy Chatting!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Please post any additions/changes and I will edit the page.......

Name DS/DE/Both EDD or Birthday Flavour/Name/Weight

ceci.bee DS ICSI EDD 11/04/11 Joshua 6lbs 4oz

juju81 DS IUI born 17/03/10 Noah Alfie 6lb 0.5oz

HellyS DS IVF born 28/10/08 Emily 4lb 8oz

Ju2006 DS IVF born 29/09/07 Girl 8lbs 2.5oz
born 07/08/10 Girl 9lb 8.5oz

teresal DS IVF born 06/08/10 Meredith Emma 6lb

Mighty Mini DS IVF born 05/07/10 Lucas Edward 6lb 7oz

pinkcat DS IVF born 03/07/10 Joshua 8lb 5oz

Fizzypop DS FET EDD 29/08/11 

carrie lou DS IUI EDD 26/05/11 Zachary Stephen 7lb 7oz

pippilongstockings DS IUI born 09/10/07 Luke 7lb 11oz
born 30/04/10 Zachary 7lb 10oz

ALF DS FET born May 08 Girl 9lb 5.5oz

margesimpson DS IUI born June 2010 Boy 8lb 2oz

snoopygirl79 DS ICSI born 05/05/09 Maisie 5lb 8oz and
Chloe 4lb 13oz

Hopeful Hazel DS ICSI EDD 28/06/11









Chrispx DS IUI born 21/01/11 Girl 5lb 10oz

Northernmonkey DS IUI born 28/04/07 Girl 7lb 14oz
born 19/04/10 Girl 8 lb 140z

Paws 18 DS IUI born 17/03/10 Boy 7lbs.

Suze DS ICSI born 19/12/09 Libby Pauline 6lb

Speeder DS IUI born Sep 09 Little Speeder - Girl

JanaH DS IVF born 25/05/11 Joseph 8lbs 2oz

Sweetdreams73 DIVF EDD 6th Oct ID twin


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## *ALF*

Nothing much to say just wanted to be the first on a new thread!


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## Fizzypop

Hi Hazel, my edd has changed to 29th august and it's a girl!


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## teresal

PC -- thats the fun beginning now, he will be into everything if hes anything like meredith    shes just started to pull herself up onto everything and walk around the furniture, more bumps and scrapes me thinks   

hi everyone else 

xx


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## juju81

Fizzy, I didn't realise u knew ur were having a pink bundle


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## carrie lou

Hello Hazel,My little man is Zachary Stephen, born 26th May weighing 7lb 7oz  

Pink cat - ooh that must be fun, crawling! We will also have to think about babyproofing as our house is very baby un-friendly at present!  But I reckon we have a good few months until we reach that stage.


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## snoopygirl79

Just bookmarking for now!!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I am sort of dreading the day when everything in the house has to be out of reach, plugged off or barricaded in   

When I have had my friends children here, the little key to the patio doors, the cd collection, ornaments - nothing is safe


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## Fizzypop

We have already had good practice with the baby proofing what with having the dog! Haven't had dvd's/ornaments/magazines etc at dog height for two years now. Even having cushions on the sofa is a bit dodgy haha! However when friends have brought their 18 month olds round have shown that I need to do something with the glass coffee tables, get rid of the glass coasters (which somehow seemed to gravitate towards the patio window (!) and put the sky box in a cupboard so they can't change the channels!!!


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## juju81

Noah ruined my wooden coffee table with a glass toaster  

We havent done much baby proofing, he's not interested THAT much altho we did unplug the DVD player because we quite often ended up with a blue screen!!!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Our dog chewed things when we first had him (including eating DH's glasses when he was in the shower  ) but now all he does is empty the waste paper basket in the lounge, so our vigilance has dropped off again!


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## Fizzypop

Yup, our one likes the bin/tissues. Haven't had a bin in the lounge for 2 years either!!!

Juju - I am defo getting rid of the glass coasters now!


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## snoopygirl79

It was a complete nightmare when my 2 could start reaching up to things!! I had to put away all my ornaments and all my photos in frames had to moved either out or up very high!! We moved the coffee table into the bay window but even now they think it's fun to climb onto it or behind it and start playing with the things we have on the window sill!!

And now they can open doors as they can reach the door handles!! I had a wrapped birthday present for one of their friends in our study which they're not meant to go in but they opened the door and unwrapped the present and started playing withe the toy!!  

They're little monkeys!!!! But still adorable!!


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## daisy70

Hi Everyone,
We haven't done much about baby proofing yet, still on the to-do list!  I think everything else is ready now though, but I'm sure once the babies come we'll realise we need lots of other things.
We have been booked in for an induction of our twins on 22 June (38 weeks) if they don't make an appearance of their own accord by then......
Daisy xx


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## margesimpson

Hiya all,


Thanks so much for all your lovely message for the munchkin's birthday!    I was really blown away when I came on and saw them all!   We got totally carried away of course with balloons, cake, animal cutouts for the walls and silly animal shaped food for him and some of his baby friends!    Basically though, we just made it feel as special as we could - not that he noticed of course, but we wanted to express just how loved and precious he is to us. Next stop - terrible twos!    


We've only just baby proofed, but seem to find more things to clear out of his way every day - mostly fluff from the carpet!    Humpf Ikea!    Mounting the TV on the wall - good idea or avoidable expense? 


Ceci - switching sides can wake up the munchkin if he's BFing, or cooling him down a bit, but DS also cluster fed in the evenings. 


Teresa - go Meredith! Clever girl! Our boy's standing, but likes things to be handed to him while he's there!   


Pinkcat - DS still isn't crawling, but hops along on his bottom - it works efficiently enough, but it can't be very comfy on his poor wee ankles! Any tips for encouraging him forward?


Fizzy - I can't remember your old date - is that sooner or later? Do you think she'll be a pink/girly girl or more of a tomboy?


Hugs to everyone   
Mx


P.S. AF arrived on Sat, with a full house and no privacy, so didn't call clinic until the pm and then the clinic was closed.  Hopefully will be able to get a baseline scan tomorrow if I call first thing?!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Marge - I was a shuffler rather than crawl. Some babies just do that. It must be so wonderful seeing your LO develop new strategies. I can't wait to find these things out about my LO!


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## speeder

Hi all - new thread already!

Marge - happy happy birthday to DS.  Hope you had a lovely celebration - such a special day   

Don't think you need to mount the tv unless he could pull it over on himself?  The only stuff I've mounted is the 5 foot tall cd rack as I was worried about that.    And we put up a stair gate.  And moved glass stuff that was baby height. and that was it!  Oh - and the locks for the nasty stuff in the kitchen cupboard. 

We didn't do any babyproofing until DD was about 8 months - there's not really a need as they're so immobile. 

DD is a wee monkey right now for all these things - I think we're rapidly heading to the terrible-twos as she has decided she no longer hears me saying "no".  Last week she bit our dog - on his ear (and bless him he just cried and didn't growl).  She's generally an angel though. 

xx


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## ceci.bee

Hi Hazel - baby boy, Joshua (2nd for this thread!) 11/4/11 wt 6lb 4oz

hi everyone else - hope you are all ok - we have just been to the travel clinic - off back to Africa in 2 weeks and the logistics of getting his jabs organised is doing my head in !

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## Hope297

Hi all,

Do you mind if I but in with a question please? I'm 29 weeks with a donor conceived baby (singleton) and 42 yo (will be 43 when DS is born. My hospital tells me there are increased risks of still born births after the age of 40 as a result of placenta failure and are therefore talking about induction from 38 weeks. I'm not keen and would prefer to go to term (unless he comes early). For those of you over 40, did you get the same pressure or did your hospital not even mention it?

Thanks
Hope


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## juju81

Hi hope,

I'm not the sane age but I have heard that to. Personally tho if I was told I had a risk of still birth and given the option to have baby 2 wks early then I'd do that. The baby will be term so no health risks.  Can I ask, what's stopping you?


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## juju81

Hi hope,

I'm not the sane age but I have heard that to. Personally tho if I was told I had a risk of still birth and given the option to have baby 2 wks early then I'd do that. The baby will be term so no health risks.  Can I ask, what's stopping you?


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## daisy70

Hi Karen,
I am 44 and no-one has mentioned anything about increased risk of still birth or placenta failure because of being over 40.
I am having twins so am being induced at 38 weeks if they don't come before, but they said that this is what they recommend for all twins and is not to do with my age.  I have been to hospital about 18 times during the pregnancy for various appointments and monitoring and no-one has mentioned the risk you have been told about.
Personally I tend to follow the hospital advice, but I would definitely ask what the alternative is - if you do not get induced at 38 weeks would they do some extra monitoring to make sure the baby is still thriving?  I asked about this and they said if I didn't get induced at 38 weeks they would see me at 39 weeks for monitoring to check the babies were still growing, heartbeats ok, blood flows ok etc.
Daisy70 xx


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## teresal

Hi Hope

I was 41 when i had DD, nobody mentioned to me about placenta failure or still birth, i went full term and was induced at 40 +2 and had her at 40 +4. i would however go with what your hospital recommends, 38 weeks will be fine. good luck


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## carrie lou

Hello Hope,
I'm not over 40 but have never heard of the risks you mentioned. Is there anything particular about your situation (apart from your age I mean) that they are concerned about? What is it about induction at 38 weeks that most worries you? Is there the possibility of a compromise - I know if you refuse induction for being overdue, they would have you in for monitoring twice a week for the rest of the pregnancy. Could they do this for you once you get to 38 weeks? 

My personal feeling is that you should have a discussion with your consultant about exactly why they are recommending this given that so many other women over 40 are allowed to go into labour in their own time. However, as others have said, I would be inclined to go with their advice if they really think it is the safest thing. Good luck


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I am 40 on Thursday and I have been advised to have an elective caesarian section at 39 weeks for the exact same reason you describe. It is booked for next Tuesday.

I was given the choice to think about it from 16 weeks and given a growth scan at 34 weeks.

Consultant still thought it was my best option last week when I went to make my final decision.
He said women over 40 have a much higher risk of long labours, babies in distress, emergency c-sections and worse  

He said an emergency section is much more difficult to recover from and as I had already lost one very much loved baby in the second trimester, experienced 11 years of TTC, IVF and (least importantly) spent £14K on treatment, he would recommend a planned safe delivery in daylight hours.

I thought long and hard about it, talked to lots of people (I work in an intensive care unit with many senior anaesthetic registrars and consultants so got all their takes on it) and friends who had been through different options, and decided that I would regret it forever if I went against the consultant's advice and it all went wrong. Plus my baby is big - he is on the 95th centile at the 34 week scan.

You have to make your own choices, and this one is my personal choice.


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## speeder

Hi - I hadn't heard this about the age thing either - I wonder if it's one of these things that hospitals have different views on?  

Personally, I wouldn't have minded going earlier with DD (although I'm not the same age as you).  She was overdue and I became extremely nervous about it as I felt they weren't offering enough monitoring and it was only when I demanded a scan due to reduced movement that it was discovered the amniotic fluid was on the low side.  I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn't moaned.  I know that it's "normal" to go over your due date but equally, whatever your age it increases the risk the longer little one goes over the date, even it's meant to be a "small" risk.  

If I were you, I'd take the consultant's advice every time - it's just too precious to risk    To be honest, induction was absolutely fine for me.


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## teresal

Carrie -- loving the photo, he is beautiful


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## juju81

Carrie he is adorable and so suits the name zachery x


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## *ALF*

Carrie - he's absolutely scrumptious, lovely photo

Hope - I have heard about the risks you mentioned, not sure where from but have heard them.  TBH, although not over 40, I was terrified of somthing going wrong in the last few weeks so was relieved when they agreed to induce me at term rather than waiting another couple of weeks.  If I'd been advised to have an earlier induction then I'm certain I would have gone along with it to lower as many risks as possible.


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## JanaH

Carrie - love the profile pic


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## margesimpson

Carrie - ditto - lovely profile pic. Just scrolled through and thought how adorable our little bundles of joy are. I'd love to add a photo of the munchkin, but DH won't let me post anything identifiable    Will need to look and see if there's one which isn't too recognisable?! Otherwise Teresa will have to vouch for him - he IS cute, honestly!


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## amandaloo

hi ladies

Hope- Ive personally never heard of it however Im not 40 or over so thats most prob why. I am however 38 weeks and if someone gave me option to start now id jump at the chance as Im now considered full term anyway so there are no health risks.

Juju- Have a nice holiday     

Fizzy- Not long until glasto     

Carrie- adorable photo    

Does anybody know if it's 14 days after edd or 10 for  induction? And can ivf ladies try and insist having one earlier ( more on the 10 day side) ? 

Hazel- not long now until elective C wow bet you are so excited  

Amanda x


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## juju81

Amanda, different hospitals use different policys. Ours was 12 days overdue. That had changed tho as used to be 14 days. Ivf dint factor at all but again different hospitals do.  I had Noah at 39+1 so u never know, good luck

I'm sure I'll enjoy my holiday   hopefully when I come back there'll be baby news from a couple if you


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## Fizzypop

Carrie that picture is sooooooooooo cute. Can't believe I will have a piccie to post on just over 11 weeks! (might need some help working out how to do it tho!!)

Amanda - yes not long now. DH has brought walkie talkies so hopefully we cam stay in touch easier, I've got a lightweight chair to carry around and hopefully they are going to let me use the disabled toilets so no queuing! Just waiting for confirmation. Am very excited just pray for no rain! On the going overdue bit, the lady covering my mat leave is an acupuncturist by trade (slightly random cos I work in HR and she said that there is acupuncture you can get done if you go overdue, basically they hit all the pressure points you are supposed to avoid during pregnancy! If I reach my due date, she is going to come over and do it to me. I know someone else that had it done and it worked for them too.

Juju - when are you off on hols? Has Noah been to the beach before?


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## carrie lou

Thanks everyone  We certainly do have a very good looking bunch of babies!

Amanda - in my area they offer a sweep at 41 weeks and induction at 42 weeks, but it varies across the country. I'm sure it would be worth asking for an earlier induction though. Chat to your midwife about it. But with any luck, baby will come well before that anyway!

Juju - have a fab holiday   Where are you going?

AFM - DH is back to work on Monday so I will have to get my act together! Been really lucky to have him at home for 3 weeks. Though Zac has actually been very good the last few days. My mum bought him a little rocking chair that vibrates and has a little mobile above it, and he loves it, keeps him occupied for a little while so I can get things done!


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## juju81

Fizzy, I live on the southcoast. Blue flag beach is a 10min walk so needless to say we've been loads! I fly tommorrow afternoon at 3.20! We've booked ourselves into the airport lounge   just gives Noah somewhere to be free without getting in peoples way!

Carrie, I liked it when nick went back to work. I got myself into a nice little routine and found when he had time off  he just got in my way! It's nicer now tho because noahs older and urm....harder work


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## Lindz

Don't say that Ju, don't they get easier??! Xx


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## carrie lou

That's what I thought - people keep telling me it will get easier!


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## juju81

maybe some do lindz but Noah isn't! He's started the terrible twos already  

It gets easier from early baby stage then they hit about 15months and the tantrums start


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## spooks

it gets easier, then they lull you into thinking you've got it all sussed, then they get much more difficult. I actually think about how easy it was to go shopping for the day with baby spooks contained in a  pram rather than taking a 2 year old (going on 22)  shopping!   I'm sure I look back on those days with rose tinted specs though.
Well the discussion with baby spooks about how she was made seems to  have ceased at the moment. I know a few of you were wondering about it and please don't think I'm claiming to have cracked it and know what to do, but this is my experience so far.  (and I was so dreading it but actually it's been fine   )
I read the telling and talking book  (from the dcn) a few times to babyspooks  from the ages of about 12- 18months (when she couldn't talk) which was quite easy to do as she was oblivious to it all . I changed some of the words though because I personally didn't feel a baby needed to hear the word sperm etc. 
Then just before she was 2 I read it to her and she was very interested in the pictues of the nude woman (very hairy mary    ) then she started talking about the clinic as we'd all been there to make little spooklet. at this point I was very upset as it was just after my miscarriage so couldn't bring myself to read the book again. I was planning to make my own version for her, which I will do but haven't got round to it yet. but in the meantime she'd had her birthday and kept asking who'd bought all her presents. Then she just asked who bought mummy and daddy so I said granny and grandad made us.  then she said 'and mummy and daddy made me' I said 'mummy made you and daddy tried to make you but couldn't, we were very sad, so we went to the clinic and they gave us someone's elses seeds to put in my tummy and it made you'. she repeated it all to me (she's a bit like a parrot). and for a while after that she would tell the story when it was bath and bedtime usually. I told dh about the conversation and he was worried about how he would react if she said it in public. 
She told him the story (in exactly my words) and he was okay with it. then she told my father and he was bit fazed and started talking about something else. She hasn't said much about it recently so I'll bring it up again in conversation starting with 'who made mummy'. 
I'll have to have a word with my parents about how to deal with it if she tells them  as they tend to bury their head a bit. Like the time I asked my mother how some eggs have chicks in them and others you can eat, my mother said - 'you know how' and walked off         I was very confused  as I was only about 5 and had no idea how      
anyway,  I know we have a long way to go but think we've made a good start as she seems to know that daddy couldn't make her. she's a bit confused though as she's been to the clinic recently but obviously doesn't know we were trying for another baby - she thinks we were making her when we all went. 
So all we need now is for me to get pregnant again so we can clear that up!     (i've been advised to have ivf lite as I respond too well to iui - I'm sort of okay with the idea and it does make sense in some ways but there's nothing lite about the price and that's what's puttng me off)   bit confused at the moment. 
sorry for no personals, 
take care all, love spoooks    

ps karen, i was induced just before 38 weeks due to pre eclampsia and the birth was a lovely, positive and very quick experience. although baby spooks was a bit skinny


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## carrie lou

Hey ladies,Just thought I would share my delight with you quickly ... I've just got back from the children's centre where Zac was weighed and to my joy, he has gained 14oz in the last 10 days!  He's now 8lb 2oz and bang on the 25th centile which is where he was at birth. I'm so thrilled especially as MIL has started nagging me to top him up with formula, which I have been refusing to do because BFing has been going so well, I didn't want to do anything that might interfere with it. Now I can tell her there is no need!

Really proud of myself and Zac


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## olivia m

Well done Spooks for successfully starting 'telling'.  It only gets easier!
And very well done Carrie with the BF.  Zac is gorgeous and it's so special when you know they are thriving because of your milk.  Not that I am an evangelical BF advocate any longer.  Sometimes it just doesn't work out and it's important to move on without guilt to formula, but when it does work - and it sometimes needs a bit of persistence - it is wonderful.  I can miss it still, even after 25 years!
Olivia


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## carrie lou

Well put Olivia. I know I'm one of the lucky ones, that I've managed to BF with very few problems. I know it doesn't go so well for everyone and in those circumstances formula may be the better option. Have to admit though, it gave me a warm glow to see that he'd gained nearly a pound because of my efforts!


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## teresal

Just really quick one to confirm what Marge said about DS, he is absolutely beautiful, mmmm very scrummy could have kept him as well cos he is so placid   

will hopefully get a chance later to have a proper read and post


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## JanaH

carrie glad his gained weight.

Just a quick one Joseph started taking the breast again. We tried him on Sunday and since then his having 2 feeds of breast milk a day. yipeeeee


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## carrie lou

Jana that's great news   You must be so pleased!


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## speeder

Hi Jana - such great news   

Spooks    hello   - hope it's not my fault you are reconsidering the ivf lite....  I sometimes wish we could see into the future when making these decisions (why can't we?).  I guess the thing at the back of my mind re you is that you seem to respond really well to the iui drugs.  So is ivf, even ivf lite, perhaps using the old sledgehammer to try to crack a nut?  I seem to recall that with spooklet and last year the IUI worked really quickly for you and the m/c (   ) shouldn't change that.  I know that we're all advancing in years but sometimes I think what is more important is how we respond to drugs and the actual success rate to convert to the magical BFP.  Do you know your AMH?  After my second BFN at the end of last year my clinic were muttering about me trying ivf so we checked my AMH which is 22.6 which is pretty good for my age (mid 30s) and so they agreed that the IUI was still a good way to go. I guess if funding is no option then ivf lite makes sense - but it sounds like you are like the rest of us and there ain't that bottomless pit of gold.  I'm definitely not trying to make things harder for you    I just mull things over and ruminate, including others' problems and this is what I was thinking.  My clinic doesn't like clomid as it can cause thinner linings and sometimes post luteal cysts although I know other clinics swear by it.  Mine uses letrozole (which is a breast cancer drug, weirdly).    Finally, my clinic also said (bluntly, but oh so true!) it comes down to the "cost per baby" and I suppose 4 cycles of IUI probably equates to one of IVF.  If you have responded within 4 cycles of IUI each time before then doesn't that maybe answer the question? BUT - if you do IVF lite - does that mean you get more than one chance of transfer if you get a good enough crop?

OK - sorry if this makes things worse - I kind of thought about your problem as though it was mine and this is the ramble I came up with.

Carrie - what an absolutely gorgeous little boy you have....!  I could just pick him up and cuddle him off my pc!! xx

happy weekend ladies speeder x


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## spooks

thanks so much speeder, you really are helping me through this  i really appreciate it. 
i've sort of worked out the issue I have with ivf lite and it's this 
if I do an iui and it fails I can manage more tx's as and when i please (pretty much) and that means I still have hope, but if I do ivf lite and it doesn't work then it seems more final. it'll take a long while for funds to build up, would i want to do ivf again or would it seem a backward step to try iui again (although i know this worked for hanuka  ) and would i think it was the end of the road? 
The clinic and various staff there say ivf lite is the best option because
 I get lots of follies with iui which get discarded during FR so may aswell put them to good use 
 it's got the most chance of working
 i could possibly have frosties (i mentionned I'd like to maybe try for 2 more babies before I'm 40  )
 I'm very concerned about the possibility of a multiple pregnancy, and a single transfer would *reduce* that risk - although I'm aware this isn't alway the case  )
on balance the ivf lite looks my best option and i think i want to do it but in truth I'm scared of it not working  and all hope going in 1 attempt. 
the 'new donor' issue has paled into insignifigance now  especially when i see all the lovely baby photos on here and can honestly say 'yes I'd be more than happy with having all of them'  
okay gott go, love to everyone and all the bouncing babies  
ps- should point out that the nude lady in the dcn book is a drawing not photograph and i've just checked the piccie and she's not as hairy as I remembered


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## Fizzypop

Spooks - have you considered donor embryo? I know it's not for everyone but my clinic offers either free or reduced rate ivf (I can't remember which) if you go down that route.


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## amandaloo

what on earth is IVF lite ive never heard of it?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Normally in IVF they try to stimulate you to get more than 8 eggs - sometimes over 20 if you have a high antral follicle count - this puts people at risk of hyperstimulation syndrome, and a lot of those eggs might not be good quality and a lot of embryos will be discarded anyway.

IVF lite is where they give you low doses of stims to get a very few great quality eggs. It greatly reduces the risks in over responders and reduces the costs - as often you get the cycle and the drugs included in the price where otherwise it would cost and IVF cycle and loads of drugs on top.

Natural IVF is where they take out the one or two naturally mature eggs in a natural cycle, so there is no risk of the stim drugs and would suit people who have good ovulatory cycles but blocked tubes and don't want to take drugs.


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## olivia m

Just to clarify about the naked lady in the DCN book.  It's a child's drawing (all the illustrations are by donor conceived children) - more like a stick person than anything else, so totally tasteful!


On second thoughts, the stick people appear in the egg donation book.  In My Story, the one for children conceived by sperm donation, the drawing of a pregnant naked mum is in profile and, I think, also very tasteful (I personally think pregnant women look beautiful).
Olivia


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## amandaloo

Hazel- thanks for that. I got 7 eggs on 225 menopur did I have ivf lite then ? Hmmmm just reread and modified post maybe i didnt as they would have been aiming for 8. How much cheaper is it to have ivf lite? Ps not long off Tuesday now bet you are very excited


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

No I was on 225 of gonal -f - that is a pretty standard dose for a standard patient - it just depends on how you respond.

IVF lite would be for people who are likely to produce lots of (possibly poorer quality) eggs and like the advantages of a less risky and less costly stimulation.

They might get given a combination of clomid for a few days and just a few very low doses of stims. They might only be trying to get 4 high quality eggs on minimal doses.

They obviously have to have pristine lab procedures when they only have a few precious eggs.

It was described somewhere that conventional IVF is like chopping down an apple tree to harvest the crop, sorting through the unripe ones, over ripe ones and damaged ones to find the good apples. or with IVF lite, gently shaking the lower branches and seeing which apples are ready to drop and eating a couple of perfect ones.


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## Vix 1

Hello girls, does anyone remember me? Say you do?     
Feel like a right butter-in if that makes sense.    But despite the lazy lurking I really have read every single post and want to send big congrats to everyone who is battling through the early days of baba's arrivals so well and all the little milestones that mean so much (the putting on weight, the nearly crawling etc etc) which I am absorbing for not to future reference!

Prompted to write this time about the induction chats. No one had mentioned it to me either until my 34 week scan this week. I had heard about it but been keeping quiet but new consultant asked what my "plan was and what my midwife has arranged." I was taken aback and confused as the room was full of people I realised later must be trainees. So I asked my midwife yesterday what we "had arranged." She snorted. ( I don't think midwives and trainee consultants who haven't read your notes, get on very well. All he wanted to talk about at my appt. was when I got my donor eggs and what my conception dates were - I just kept pointing to the section in my notes where it was all written down! Honestly!)
She said it was up to me. Well it is a dilemma.

On the one hand: I would love for the baby to appear in four weeks. I am really suffering now with every single niggling aggravating symptom and also getting very cross and stressed!   BUT it seems logically that it has to be better for baby to come in his own time.   Course it is better. We just know that deep inside. Obviously its not good weeks after the due date, but I am convinced baby would be happier if he had got himself into the right position, sorted himself out and all the other things your body does to get itself ready were in place.

Does anyone know the stats on older mums having stillbirths? No, this is not a great subject, sos if i have upset anyone!

And wooh sorry for rambling post after being awol so long! Obviously needed to get that out of my system! LOVE TO ALL.   (Any news on Jejo or am I getting my threads confused?)


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

The risk is tripled in women over 40 compared to women in their mid 20s, but of course it is not ''common'' in the first place (less than 10 per 1000). 10 babies are born still every day though, some hospitals with double the risk of others, and it is not well understood why.
The baby should be monitored carefully after 38 weeks, and I am not sure how often that actually happens, and personally I could not go through weeks more of agonising analysis of fetal movement - it has been bad enough for me already being on the constant look out all day and night. I want my baby out next week and am glad I am booked for a section.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6347239.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7388285.stm

/links


----------



## spooks

Sorry, hope i didn't put anyone off the dcn book - the pic's are completely inoffensive. 
It's well worth buying even if you just read it youself to prepare you for telling your child using your own words and pics. 
amandaloo - if i do ivf lite i'll still only be on 75 gonal f a day (as last time i produced 4 lead follies on 37.5 daily) 
in retrospect I should've just converted to ivf rather than have a follicle reduction but hindsght is useless 
and the cost isn't that lite I'm afraid    - about twice the price of iui 
fizzypop - don't know what donor embryo is exactly - but I know I can't donate as I'm tooooo old.

oooh I've just had a thought, what if i do IUI and if I over stim convert to ivf?     
I'm going crazy with all this        I just think too much   

hi vix of course we remember you, hope you're okay 
I'm butting in here too, the thread doesn't hear from me for weeks and then I come on all high maintenance


----------



## *ALF*

Spooks - I've been thinking about your situation and what I'd do if it was me - so for what it's worth here's my thoughts.
I think I would stick with DIUI for a few more attempts, probably another three. It has worked for you before, two times out of five (is that right) so a success rate of 40%, which is pretty good! DIUI is less stressful than IVF and as it's worked before there's no reason to say it wouldn't again.  I think my issue would be with what type of IUI, as in medicated or not and this would depend on why you were doing medicated now; if it's because you don't have regular cycles then I would want to proceed with a different drug (maybe clomid) or less of the same drug (37.5 every other day); if you have regular cycles and it's just that your clinic prefer medicated then I would push for a natural cycle with monitoring. 
Anyway, that's my thoughts - I don't really understand why they a pushing for IVF (even though it is lite) when IUI has worked twice and reducing/changing/no drugs could sort the overstimulating out.
Sorry if that hasn't helped at all.

Hazel - all the best for Tuesday


----------



## spooks

thanks alf   
still none the wiser though      
think I need another appointment! Hope all is well with you   
and hope everyone's having a good weekend


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## speeder

Hello all - can't damn well sleep AT all right now hummmmm   

Spooks - you certainly didn't offend me re the DCN book - you made me laugh (your posts always make me laugh, even when about serious subjects - you should write a column) I think you were just bringing in some lighthearted relief!  I totally "get" what you are saying about feeling like IVF is more final - I've often thought that way too.  You think you are on a road, and IUI feels like the start of that road and "more safe".  But I guess IVF is just a part of that road too, depending on finances and I guess that is what is key.  If one IVF life doesn't work could you afford more? If not, you might be putting too many eggs into one basket.  It's basically always held me back from IVF - we would not have the funds for multiple shots of it.  I also think your idea of converting IUI to IVF if you over stim is a good one - I'm sure someone on this board did that once.  Also, I think ALF's advice is good - does your clinic only offer gonal-F for IUI?  Even if they won't use other meds (and why?) they would surely do completely natural cycle too?  Honey - there is so much advice out there - hope some of it's helped -    - maybe another appointment would help?  Thinking of you x

Hi Vix - I think if there is an increased risk then, no matter how low that risk is, I would go with the earlier induction - your baby is too precious to take that risk   

I've not posted about me for a while.  I'm 15 weeks tomorrow - (is that all??) still pretty sick bla bla and have been feeling the baby move which is AMAZING - just as amazing as last time. (I know it's early to feel movements, but I felt them early with DD too and I know exactly what it is this time and when not wind). But it's different.  I have an anterior placenta this time so the movements are way less and he (I think it's a little boy this time) has quieter moments than DD who was a gymnast the entire way through (and still is!)  So that is a good way to keep me worried.  I had a reassurance scan last week - paid for it privately without telling DH (eek, I know) - and it was amazing - she checked the major organs etc and it was v reassuring.  So I'm just keeping going - trying to enjoy this pregnancy as I really hope it will be my last!!  (DH said last night that if I even thought about trying for a third baby he'd pack his bags - I think he was joking but who knows!)  Ironically DH and I both find pregnancy as trying as tx - only because I'm so incredibly sick at the start, plus I have a moderately stressful job as does he (as does everyone, I know) so I really really just want little baby in my arms safely as soon as possible.  I think some women love pregnancy in itself and some just want their babies here and I'm definitely in the second camp!!  Hope everyone is well xx


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## amandaloo

Hello ladies

Vix- of course we remember you  ,  I also remember you from Leeds thread too. I think at 37 or 38 weeks you are considered full term anyway so in that respect if they want to start you early id go with that especially if you are suffering. I havent found my pg that easy to be honest I feel like ive only had a few good weeks but I do enjoy the days when I have a good day if you know what I mean. 

Speeder- Like Ive just said to Vix I havent found pg that easy either, I would love to say Ive enjoyed every minute of it    dont get me wrong on the good days I do enjoy it. Yesterday was paticularly bad felt nausea's and had headache a lot couldnt shift it ended up going to ned about 745 just to try lying down and having quiet time. Woke up at 4 lol cant win!!! Hope the sickness eases soon for you   

Hazel-         for tuesday       


AFM- just waiting now getting more anxious I think just because its the worry of the unknown I think?


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## speeder

Thanks Amanda   when is your due date? You might go late so prepare yourself for that! I hadn't and was v impatient! Increasing anxiety is totally normal, you are gearing up for labour but trust your body - it has got you this far so well honey xx enjoy the last precious days and take some bump pics as it goes so quickly xxxxxxx


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## carrie lou

Vix   Yes I remember you! Are they suggesting induction at 38 weeks? If so, baby will be considered full term so there shouldn't be any additional risks to him/her. Don't know much about the risks of stillbirth etc. but if they are suggesting induction, I think I would go with it rather than risk anything happening to baby. I was induced for being overdue and it went a lot better than I expected    

Amanda - oh yes, I remember the impatience and anxiety of those last few days of pregnancy! Bizarrely though, now my boy is here, as much as I love him and love being a mummy, I actually sometimes find myself missing all the excitement of pregnancy    Silly isn't it! But honey just try to enjoy these last couple of weeks, baby will come when he's ready and everything will be fine.     



Speeder - wow, feeling movements already, that's wonderful! I was also very sick in pregnancy so can sympathise  but when you have your baby in your arms, it will all seem worth it   

Hazel - best of luck, can't wait to hear your news     

Hello everyone else   

AFM - Zac and I are waiting for DH to get home from church, then going to cook him a special breakfast for his first father's day


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## Vix 1

Ah ladies - I do still belong! 

*Hazel:* Thanks for facts and figs - I depend on them far too much. May I ask why you are having a section though? I thought induction was bad enough!

*Hi Spooks* - yes I tend to avoid opportunities to come and offer comfort or help to other people on here and just pop on to rant about ME ME ME! Might try a bit harder to be better!

*Speeder:* No one has actually said I need to be induced - i wish they would. The consultant has left it to the midwife, the midwife has sort of left it up to me....so clearly no one thinks it essential. I'm with Hazel though, would far rather it was all over with sooner rather than later. *An Speeder - and Hi Amandaloo*, yes thought it was you! - what a relief to find other people who aren't sailing through pregnancy in hand-made gingham frocks , sewing baby blankets and smiling beatifically all day long. Its a b  r if you ask me. They may take that word out in which case: it was a rude word that rhymed with rugger. 

Right now I am having trouble typing because my wrists and fingers are so weak and tingly. My tummy is stretched and bloated because I had a bit too much breakfast and wind is making the poor little un wriggle around deep in my hip bone and right in my lady bits. Back aches and I look like my 86 old yr neighbour when I try to get out of a chair and have resorted to grunting to try to encourage myself upright.  
And don't start me on bleeding from unexpected places and the state of my legs cos I can't get down to shave them....etc etc moan moan moan.

THIS I discover, is the minus side of post 40s pregnancy! 

P.S Carrie Lou - yes they are just talking about induction because they would say it to all over 40s mums I think. My nurse friend who has just spent a week doing c sections and births at the rate of 3 a day !!!! - says if blood pressure is fine (mine is very good) and scans and checks show all is normal, I probably should sit it out. If I am honest, I am only pushing the idea because another 4 weeks instead of another 6 weeks plus sounds really nice!  

Yes -thought I better remove word! HH


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Vix - if you think the immobility is bad now, try 39 weeks! It is a killer!. I feel like my pelvis is going to disintegrate and getting up - I could do with a hoist!

Walking even around the block is a real struggle - poor dog! I went to groom my horse this morning and it felt like I ran the marathon.

Not moaning of course - I just don't know how the morbidly obese survive!

Reasons for my section.....
I lost my first IVF baby at 17 weeks. This time I went to see the consultant at 16 weeks and was in tears thinking they might not be able to find a heart beat again the same as last time - and he put anxious +++ in my notes.
We discussed all the options for delivery, my friend's experiences and my professional experience seeing the worst of the worst complications working in intensive care for the last 10 years.

He told me to put all those experiences aside, but looking at my case as an individual ....
11 years infertility, 3 cycles of treatment, one baby dead at 17 weeks, 14K on treatment, previous pelvic injury, over 40 at delivery (risk of long labour, fetal distress and worse), BMI raised.....
He thought I should consider a section and gave me the info and consent to read. Told me I did not have to make up mind until 36 weeks and he wanted a growth scan at 34 weeks. If it was to be a big baby he would recommend it even more.

So I read, I talked to consultants at work, I talked to friends, other mums, weighed up pros and cons, went for my growth scan. Despite being really careful what I ate all pregnancy and only putting on 14lbs since booking appointment, my baby was 2.7Kg (6lbs) already at 34 weeks and on the 95th centile - that kind of sealed it for me.

My worst fear is going through a long labour and ending up with an emergency, or even worse a crash c-section at 4 in the morning and taking home a brain damaged or dead baby.

This plan of action takes all the worry, anxiety, uncertainty and real potential risk of the bad things happening away. I know there are other risks, and I hope I don't regret it, but I certainly would regret going against my consultant's advice and it all going wrong at the last hurdle after spending over a quarter of my life on this quest.


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## Vix 1

H H - yes I can absolutely see why you would want to go for the section. As much as anything else its about control and maximising safety so you dont go into mental meltdown - am I right?  I think that smiley may be inappropriate but its meant to mean: I understand!

And hey - am with you already on the wanting a hoist and walking small distances like marathons. I also have thought exactly the same about the truly fat (am just watching embarrassing fat bodies as i write!). Total exhausting horrible nightmare! My friend and her 4 yr old had to haul me up in the garden this aft. Had been making daisy chains with little one sitting on the grass and honestly, told them just to leave me there all night - much easier option than trying to get up! (no they didn't leave me there all night!)

P.S Try not to imagine all the worst scenarios pet. I always remeber that the chances of still birth and all the other horrors we can allow our imaginations to run to, are very very low. Honest! The chances you are going to be totally fine way outweigh the chances that you will not be. xxx  ​


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## Fizzypop

Hello ladies, 

Hazel - just wanted to wish you good luck for Tuesday as I won't be online until next Tuesday now. 

To everyone else - have a good week. Think of me at Glastonbury and keep praying for no rain!!!


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## margesimpson

Hazel - you've given it a all a lot of thought and you're doing the best you can for bubs. All the best of luck for Tues - will be thinking of you! I hope you've got DH primed to get on here and post your announcement!?


Fizzy - total respect for doing Glasto while pregnant - I saw these things today for when you "get caught short" when you're out and about in the car, but hopefully they'll let you use the disabled toilets, or else take their lives in their hands and face an angry pregnant lady!


Vix - the great thing is, once you have the baby, you'll lose that out of breath feeling so quickly and the heartburn disappeared overnight! Yippee!


Carrie - hope you've been enjoying your day together and enjoying motherhood.


Speeder - or should I say 'sneaky speeder'? There's no shame in wanting the reassurance from a scan, I think it was Mini that had a few extra! I kept telling myself that the worse I felt, the stronger the baby was growing, so long as I could keep fluids etc up.


Spooks - I don't know much about IVF at all, but I hope the decision gets a little clearer for you.


Mx


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## speeder

Hi all, slightly worried tonight and can anyone help? I have an anterior placenta this time and movements are so different. I had felt reasonably regular movement last week but nothing all weekend. I am only 15 weeks so realistically baby has prob just shifted position and added to the placenta being at the front I can't feel movement just now. But still worried! Anyone else have this early on? Love crazy speeder x


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## Fizzypop

Speeder - early movements are no where near constant. You've got nothing to worry about. Even now I get loads of movement some days and only a few x


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

At 15.5 weeks I had little flutters like a fish hitting the sides or an elastic band twanging gently, but it was not consistent.

After a day of feeling something I had 2-3 days of little movements, but it got stronger towards 18 weeks.

Even now I get days where I have constant movements that make me feel peculiar with my whole belly moving around and being hit constantly in my cervix and heart. Being able to press on body parts that move in response to my touch. Then other days where I still get at least a dozen wiggles, but much less strong and palpable/visible than the day before. I get worried and am constantly looking out for movements.
I also have an anterior placenta.

I also noticed a pattern of feeling movements during the week when sitting at my desk or sitting on the ward, but very little at weekends. Very odd!


----------



## speeder

Thanks fizzy and Hazel   how weird, I have the same pattern too of noticing way more movement sitting at my desk at work and then on days off and weekends virtually nothing! Maybe the ant placenta means we only feel it lower which is more noticeable?  So so diff to dd as when I lay down with her she kicked constantly! I guess all pg are different but this is a great way to send me crackers mmmm . Fizzy - have a brill time lucky person, hope no mud! Anyone else watching the golf?? X


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## amandaloo

Speeder- I didnt feel anything until a lot later on think it was around 20 weeks ish just been trying to look back but cant find when exactly. If you are going to be really worried about it id give the midwife a quick call at GP surgery. I knwo I once did that for another reason and it stopped me from worrying x

will write more personals later x


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## margesimpson

Speeder - the placenta was at the front with DS and I didn't feel much movement for ages. People kept asking and I wasn't sure as it was so subtle and for me, there wasn't really a pattern. Someone suggested taking a warm, but not hot bath and the baby will move more then, although that didn't work for me. However, if in any doubt, call the midwife, they'll be able to reassure you.


AFM - Scan today showed a few follies - 1x12, 1x13 and 1x16 plus some wee ones. Lining only 6.4 but their minimum is 6mm. Will need to wait for the bloods to know where we go from here, but could be a further scan, looking to do the insemination on Friday!     


Hazel -    thinking about you today - hoping that he was just being an   , trying to make you jealous or something and everything has been worked out now?!   I just can't believe he could do the alternative at this time!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

speeder - Ds would go over drive sitting at my desk and then when we went to places he hadn't been to before he would go silent and then i'd have to drink a cold glass of water to get him moving again!!    I didn't feel him until 16 weeks.


----------



## *ALF*

Speeder - I also had an anterior placenta and started feeling DD at 14 weeks.  I did feel her daily from then BUT I think alot of that was because I wasn't working and was virtually sofa bound untill 20 weeks with horrendous migraines.  I think because I was sitting still for alot of the time I was feeling her more.  You're probably noticing it more when you're sitting still at your desk rather than at home when you're probably more active with your DD. My DD used to wake up when I was out in the car.  What I found bizarre was several times when having a scan or the midwifee palpating my bump they would say about seeing/feeling her move, but I hadn't felt a thing - felt a bit stupid at the time! Also rather bizarrely DD was often quieter on a Monday and then active the rest of the week - I reckoned Mondays were growth spurt days!!!!!

Hazel - was lying in bed worrying about you and your DH (been reading other thead).  Do you have family and friends close by who could be around to help over the next few weeks just incase your DH isn't very helpful? I really hope it's just the anxiety and worry that he's penting up making him behave inappropriately and once he sees his son tomorrow he will be fine   

Marge - all sounding good. You've got loads of time for the lining to thicken up there.  Keep us informed.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hazel - Hope you get it sorted.    DH made my life hell a few weeks before baby was born. He went all 'weird' on me and was chatting to lots of women from work on ** which sent me    with all the hormones and feeling fat etc it really didn't help. He actually said he didn't know what was wrong, he just felt disconected. I have never cried so much in my life and felt the happiness of the exciting time was shattered. I was so scared he wouldn't be there for the birth or would be there but was there cos he had to be. 
I even thought about leaving before baby came because then i would know where i was with everything. Eventually we talked loads, he even had a bit of counselling, he was feeling like he had to do everything everyone else wanted and he never got a say in anything and he wasn't able to say what he wanted. Then of course that sent me realing cos i thought he had gone along with the baby and did he really want to be with me, was our marriage a big fat fake one    Hormones again    anyway none of it had anything to do with me, i think with the baby it just brought up a few deep rooted fears. 
men are funny creatures. Its not fair he is doing this to you. I still haven;t forgotten how i was feeling when we went through out tough time. 
Get your friends in the picture for support.


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## speeder

Thanks girls.  I have to say I'm absolutely worried sick now.  I've felt no movement since Saturday and before that I had felt daily movement.  I can't help but think the worst.  I don't think there's much point calling the midwife as I know exactly what they will say - it's common not to  feel movement every day this early on, but it that won't reassure me as I've felt it so consistently for the last two weeks.


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## speeder

Thanks girls.  I have to say I'm absolutely worried sick now.  I've felt no movement since Saturday and before that I had felt daily movement.  I can't help but think the worst.  I don't think there's much point calling the midwife as I know exactly what they will say - it's common not to  feel movement every day this early on, but it that won't reassure me as I've felt it so consistently for the last two weeks.


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## olivia m

Hi Speeder
I can imagine how anxious you are.  Just the same thing happened for my daughter in law (baby due in August).  She did ring her midwife and they had her in for a scan very quickly.  All was well.  You need to know.
Best of luck
Olivia


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## carrie lou

Speeder     just a quick one to say I first felt movements about 17 weeks, but they were nowhere near consistent until well after 20 weeks. I don't think it's anything to worry about at this stage honey. Hope you feel better soon


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## speeder

Thanks Olivia and Carrie... your posts help.

I think I might have felt slight movement just now (I'm really looking for it so hard to tell) so I'm trying to relax.

I am trying so hard for this pregnancy to be more relaxed than my last one (which I just didn't enjoy, I was worried the whole way through).  To top it all off, DH and I just had a row (which we don't often do, definitely something in the water that our men are drinking) as whenever I really worry about something I just go into "shut down" mode and DH is about as supportive as a wet dish towel in these times and becomes frustrated with me saying I'm always worrying, whereas I feel I have to worry for the two of us as he never becomes concerned about anything.  I just feel when I'm really up against it, I'm on my own. So he's stormed out leaving me crying like a right mess. Just as well DD is at nursery this afternoon so I can pull myself together.


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## H&amp;P

Speeder - just sneaking in after reading your posts about movement, as I also have anterior placenta and have been told not to expect to feel movements until I am 20-22 weeks pregnant, I am 19 weeks today and haven't felt a thing yet (I know you said you felt things a few weeks ago but think that might have been the exception as everything I have read says it is very unusual to feel movement with anterior placenta) Had my scan today and baby was in there wriggling and kicking and punching and it is amazing how I can't feel anything at all.


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## speeder

Thanks H & P (and congratulations!)

Why don't the books say more about anterior placenta I wonder?  I just can't believe the difference between my two pregnancies so presumably it does totally change things.  I know it's wierd I've felt movement so soon but it was unmistakable but unlike with DD I felt it very low down only (I guess as the placenta is in the way)

Still worried but trying not to freak out.....


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## H&amp;P

Speeder - no worries glad to be able to give some reassurance, my midwife spent ages trying to find the heartbeat using a doppler at my 14 week appointment and had to give up, she said not to worry (as if   ) it is common not to be able to find them until much later with an anterior placenta. If you google it there are loads of pages on there with ladies not feeling any movement until well into the 20+ weeks.


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## H&amp;P

Speeder - no worries glad to be able to give some reassurance, my midwife spent ages trying to find the heartbeat using a doppler at my 14 week appointment and had to give up, she said not to worry (as if   ) it is common not to be able to find them until much later with an anterior placenta. If you google it there are loads of pages on there with ladies not feeling any movement until well into the 20+ weeks.


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## carrie lou

Speeder - should have said, I also had an anterior placenta and was told not to expect movement until later than average because of it. I think you must be very unusual in feeling movement so early (meant in the kindest possible way!  )  and remember it's very uncommon for things to go wrong once you pass the 12 week point. Please try not to worry


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## Vix 1

Speeder - just get down the surgery and get the midwife to do the heartbeat thing to reassure you. Mine will do it any time I ask. Way better than fretting, surely? You have been told!  

P.S I didn't feel a thing until 24 weeks! Also, reason for baby getting up and grooving when we are resting is because moving about soothes them to sleep. Top tip for getting baba to move is an ice cold drink - think someone else mentioned this. I have had al the worries you have you see!


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## Vix 1

P.S S Hi H and P! Am i right in thinking you used to have the same name as someone connected with cars?


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## teresal

speeder -- just to chuck my twopence worth in, have a drink of ice water and lay on left side, always got M moving when she became quiet. am sure all is fine but if you are worried DO call or drop in and speak to MW thats what they are there for      

mini --     where have you been hiding lately, hows DS doing    

hi to everyone else, i have just noticed the time and haven't even got dinner on for DH coming in mmmmm what excuse can i make


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## speeder

Thanks again all, felt some movement tonight, phew! Carrie - yes I guess I am a bit unusual ha ha in many ways, before all this tx I think I used to be a normal sane woman    most of my friends know nothing about our tx issues and can't understand why I worry so  

Hazel - already posted on other thread to you - huge day for you tomorrow and I will be thinking of you and precious baby xx

Marge - sounds like things progressing nicely, clinic v relaxed about lining - mine a bit thin since dd but they never worried! X


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## margesimpson

speeder - thank goodness! Sane? You? I don't believe it!    I really hope you can relax and bit now and get a good nights sleep. I've just been searching through my diary to see exactly when I start feeling movement - it was 19/20 wks ish, I didn't seem very sure whether it was movements or not for while. I haven't told most of my friends about our fertility issues/treatment either and it does grate on my nerves when older friends roll their eyes and say "oh you, you're such a worrier!" or the classic "well we managed to have babies without all this worry/cutting out this and that/generally making such a fuss of things! Hmmm...  


Yeah, the clinic do seem fairly relaxed about the lining and the follies. Oddly the thing I'm most worried about at the moment is how to get the time of work for the insemination without them knowing?! Any ideas most welcome. I only work part time so dentist appt etc is out and baby/nursery emergency is pretty much out too as they know my parents would be round at the drop of a hat. I'd rather not lie at all, but if I ask for the time off at short notice and they say 'no' what would I do?


Hazel - will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that it all goes super smoothly! This time tomorrow, you could be posting to say you're a mummy already! No pressure, but we do expect an immediate update!   


H&P - congratulations! 19wks? So a little bump? 


Has anybody tried those home-doppler thingys?


Mx


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## carrie lou

Marge - could you just say it's for a "women's problem"?  This generally doesn't invite too many further questions!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Call in sick with a womens' problem?

Or can you rearrange your working hours - say you will work the hours at another time as you have a really important appointment to attend and you would rather not discuss it as it is personal.

I told my work I was having fertility treatment and they were very supportive and allowed me all my appointments off. I did not take the micky though and worked late or booked early/late appointments.

I was allowed whole days off when actually having the EC and ET and booked annual leave for 2ww.


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## amandaloo

Hazel- thinking of you can't wait to hear  your a mummy x


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## Vix 1

Hazel - whay you doing posting today? Surely you should be feet up with fluffy slippers on being fed grapes in preparation for your big event?     GOODEST LOADEST OF LUCKS!


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## Lindz

Speeder- just to say I had one of each placenta and there was a HUGE difference in the movements I felt for eaxh baby. I was always worried about DS but he was always moving on the scans, I just couldn't feel him as much as his sis. I'm afraid I was at least as much of a worrier as you and relied on my home doppler to let me know they were both still ok. It also let me know which one was where as for a long time all 4 feet were in the same corner. Not sure I'd recommend a doppler though. I used mine right up to the end and probably far too much, used to sneak off so DH wouldn't think I was mad. 

Good luck Hazel!!!!!!! X


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## speeder

Thanks Lindz.  I've been humming and hawing about getting a doppler to be honest but is it not quite hard to find the hearbeat?  I bet I'm MORE of a worrier than you (honestly I could win an olympic gold medal in it) and what if I couldn't find the heartbeat one day?!?!?!?  Isn't it harder to use a doppler with an anterior placenta anyway? But then it would be reassuring on the days that I was worried about movement. 

Marge - oooh, time off, it's such a hard one.  I have to say that for my first two cycles I didn't tell work and I actually found the early morning blood tests harder to justify if I couldn't get the early appointments.  I had lots of "doctor" appointments.  For the actual IUI it was easier for me as I could say DD wasn't well and so I would take it as a holiday anyway and not feel guilty..... Then for the third IUI, I was fed up with all the shenanigans of making excuses and told my boss who was actually amazing about it all and said he'd totally cover for me with colleagues re last minute days off etc.  And I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I think anything that relieves stress has got to be good!  Would you not consider telling your boss (you don't have to mention the donor aspect, my boss has two kids and kind of knew about IUI and I wasn't embarrassed about telling him as he already told me they had had male factor issues themselves!!) 

I still took the days off for IUI as holidays though - can't win them all!

speeder x


----------



## Lindz

I don't want to be responsible for encouraging you Speeder but I could find both heartbeats from 14 weeks most of the time without too much trouble. There were a couple of times though when I couldn't find one properly or couldn't tell if they were separate or he same bub (you won't have this prob!) and I waited 10 mins, shifted position and had a drink and then found them straight away. It just depends if having one will make you more or less stressed out. I used to rush home from work on days when I had t had much movement to have a sneaky listen but as I said, I am mad! Poor DH, I used to promise that after each scan I'd stop worrying, I haven't as yet... X


----------



## margesimpson

Hiya all - quicky me, me, me post:


Basting tomorrow!    It'll need to be a sicky from work as only found out this afternoon! Feel pretty guilty   
Is it a full or an empty bladder for basting?
Otherwise what else do I need to remember?
Feeling pretty anxious about everything - like I'm going to forget something vital and make it all go wrong!   


Big hugs, Mx


Speeder- feeling any better? More movements or any more relaxed about it?


----------



## speeder

Good luck tomorrow marge! Can't remember re bladder, dont think it matters, just remember yourself........ Fingers crossed! 

Ps can't sleep but I am fine.....


----------



## carrie lou

GOOD LUCK MARGE!!!     I think it's empty bladder from what I remember but better check first as I'm not 100% sure.


----------



## Lindz

Good luck Marge xx


----------



## margesimpson

Thanks - it feels rather surreal, but I'm PUPO!


Is it too early to start symptom spotting?    


Speeder - Can't you sleep because you're worrying? You should definitely try a doppler then - and just try not to panic if you can't find the heartbeat straight away.


Mx


----------



## teresal

Marge -- wwhhhhoooooo congratulations on being PUPO, when is otd


----------



## speeder

Yay marge, Glad it went well! Were clinic good to you? Here's to a hopeful 2 ww xx ps honey I just don't sleep when pg, not sure why!


----------



## amandaloo

> Is it too early to start symptom spotting?


 lol love it Marge congrats on being PUPO. Think i started that night!!

Vix- Read back your post from a few days ago you really make me laugh  you must be very witty. Ps I totally agree with everything you said re pg symptoms. I groan everytime I have to get up off settee now  my hubby thinks I need a crane. And I think H and P is the person you are thinking about!

Hazel- Hope you and the LO are recovering well   

Speeder- Are you going to get a Doppler then? I decided against it in case I got over obsessed with it or soemthing or I couldnt find the heartbeat. Glad you started feeling movements again 

Hi to everyone 

AFM- well had a few niggles but nothing significant really. Going to see the midwife today see what she has to say. Ive worked out that he will be here in at least 2 and a half weeks even if I get induced so not that much longer now eh!


----------



## Vix 1

Wooh Amanda - could be any second. Thrillsville! Yes I am sometimes witty aren't I! (?!) A crane would be wonderful!  

Totally with you on the doppler thing - like the super expensive baby monitor that squeals every time the baby moves or summat. I would become super obsessed I reckon. The doppler a deffo no no as its not always easy to find h b and the baby monitors I am still leaning towards like you lean towards the extra large pot of Ben and Jerrys in the shop but know it would be better all round if you went for the little one - or none at all!!!  

Just back from seeing friends new baby and off to see friends baby twins soon. It is lovely to be able to do this without feeling sad  - which was the case for the last 3 yrs! Also I am learning LOADS and always make them let me hold the baby if it starts crying so I can practice what to do. See, up to about 4 months ago I had never really even held a baby!    Learned about swaddling today.. as in just lightly putting blanket round them. Also learned no point being snobby about dummies - this friend is super Mum and she always uses them....  

Feeling chirpy today for first time in AGES. Hope it lasts and not linked to VERY RARE treat I should like to point out, of glass of diet coke which affects me like drugs. (makes me happy).

Better stop whittering and go an rescue baby mouse which cat is torturing on the lawn. Nice! LOVE TO ALL - especially Hazel (any news anyone? ) and Marge on the dreaded 2 WW.


----------



## juju81

I'm back  

Need to read back really but just wanted to say I didn't have a Doppler, think it causes more worry and stress personally and I don't own baby monitors. None. Our house is quite open plan so we can hear him anyway! Those sensor ones just worry the life out of u too I reckon! 

Just my thoughts tho, I know people who swear by them!


----------



## margesimpson

Hiya Juju - welcome back! How was the holiday?


Vix - we didn't buy a monitor at first as figured we'd be able to hear DS when he needed us. Then we bought the BT 150 on impulse as we were staying at the grandparents house and DS LOVED the music, so that was it. Now DS goes to bed at 7pm with his tunes and that's him till morning. We have to have put the monitor on mute initially though, 'cos the tunes have become so annoying!   


As for dummies, they are beloved, wonderful things!   


Amanda - it feels all the more real when you realise you're next from here! Hopefully things'll start happening soon though. Have you got a gym/birth ball to bounce on - I tried that, but don't know if it helped. Aquanatal is supposed to really help too, if you've got a class nearby?


AFM - Thanks for all your good wishes   Feel like this is going to be a long 2 wks though!   
Mx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

we used a monitor to begin with but we don't use it now unless we are in the garden, we got one with a video, its fab! as for dummys they are the work of the devil!!!         DS used to wake up, up to 10 times in the night looking for it, we had to train him to get himself to sleep in the end   

Good luck |Marge


----------



## speeder

Ha ha vix your post did make me chuckle. I ain't an earth mother either!

Have to say that we had a movement monitor - angel care and I loved it, for when I woke at 3 am worrying if she ok! And dummies do rock but they are a sod to wean them off! But I am not getting a Doppler!!

Well got new mat bras today, ladies I am a 34gg!!!! Last time I was an f cup so what is going on? Fortunately I am tall but I might rename myself dolly.

Welcome back juju and hello teresal and everyone else. 

Xx


----------



## carrie lou

Morning ladies  

Fantastic news re. Hazel! Can't wait to hear more  


Hope everyone is well, the reason I've been quiet this week is because my DH is in hospital following a road traffic accident on Monday. Long story short, he's been behaving like a bit of a prat, discharging himself against medical advice because he didn't like the ward he was moved to, then getting re-admitted 12 hours later via A&E ... but he is going to be fine. Hoping to have him home in the next day or so. In the meantime I've had MIL from hell staying with me for the last FIVE HELLISH DAYS, getting in the way, critiquing my parenting skills and generally being a pain in the   . No help at all around the house. Actually had to call my mum in to get some groceries for me and look after Zac while I had a bath! Fortunately there is talk of MIL finally going home today so with any luck I should get my house and my sanity back soon!


Also, Zac has been really unsettled the last few days, often fidgeting and crying during feeds. Not sure if it's colic or trapped wind or what. Seems a bit of a coincidence that it all started very suddenly the day after DH went into hospital - I wonder if he can somehow pick up on my stress? Which makes me feel very guilty.  Anyway have decided to take him to be weighed and talk to the health visitor next week even if only for reassurance. Pretty sure he is still gaining weight as he has outgrown some of his "tiny baby" clothes!


----------



## juju81

Oh carrie Hun, how awful, was he badly injured? Tell ur mil to do one!!

Speeder I went from FF to GG then stayed at G after my preg etc  

Hazel, congratulation hun


----------



## Vix 1

You must be a very patient person Carrie. "Do one" is what you need to say to a MIL like that.


----------



## Vix 1

Should have underlined IS so I doesn't look like I am just repeating JuJu.!


----------



## margesimpson

Hazel - congratulations!    Look forward to hearing from you when you have the time and energy!   


Carrie - If she doesn't go home, you may need to embrace your bossy side. I'd present her with a list of things that would be really "helpful" for her to do round the house. She might be less annoying if she had her time occupied with practical things - like cooking some nice meals for the freezer, dishes, hoovering, washing, shopping, weeding the garden, mowing the lawn, painting the spare room. What you have to go home soon? Shame!     As for DS, he probably is picking up vibes from you, but it's only 'cos you're so important to him. Hope DH is on the mend - he's going to be in a real strop, knowing he should be there helping you at this moment in time. 


As for the mummy boobs - did you know they make nursing bras in size L?    It's a bit like wearing portable scaffolding!


----------



## carrie lou

Juju he rode his bicycle into the back of a lorry  and his chest took most of the impact. He smashed his sternum (breastbone), broke a rib and has some minor damage to his liver. He was in a lot of pain (now controlled). Hoping he will be home tomorrow, he is just waiting for the result of a scan to see how his liver is healing.  He says he is really missing us.


MIL has gone home!    Zac and I spent the afternoon visiting daddy in hospital, then came home and had a bath together. First time I've done that (we've always bathed him in the baby bath until now) but he really seemed to enjoy it and so did I. Now we are cuddling on the sofa and watching the tennis. Bliss to have the house back to ourselves!


Mummy boobs - I was always B cup before, but longed for bigger (.)(.) - so was delighted to get to a 36C! Nothing like as impressive as GG though


----------



## northernmonkey

Right you lot stop bragging about your big boobs, some of us can only dream of G cups (or even C for that matter...)   

Carrie - hope your hubby is feeling better and gets home soon.  My dh cycled into the back of a car a few months ago but got off lightly compared to yours - he just ended up with a few stitches in his hand.  I think they forget how fast they're going on their damn bikes or think they're invinsible.  Sounds like you've had some lovely mummy and baby time this afternoon - make the most of bath time with him before he starts pooing in there (a favourite of my lovely daughter's at the moment - another sieve ended up in the bin just this evening having been used to remove the offending object   )  Sounds like your mil has done a complete u-turn by the way!

Hazel - congratulations on becoming a mummy!  Hope you and baby are doing well, looking forward to hearing all about it. 

Juju - how was the holiday?

Marge - congrats on being pupo again!!  Good luck!!  I have a good feeling about you...   

Teresa -    How's you and your lovely little girl?

Hello everyone else, hope you all enjoy the sunshine tomorrow after all the bloomin rain we've had!


----------



## juju81

Cripes carrie that sounds awful! Ur bath time and evening sound lovely. I wish I'd enjoyed those early days more to be honest instead of worrying about everything and wishing him older! He wont cuddle me, would rather climb on the sofa!

Nm, Noah has never poo'd in the bath thank god! We know when he's going to go anyway! Holiday was fab. Very hot. Noah dealt with it fine tho, bless him! Just trying to decide what to do next year


----------



## speeder

Carrie - so glad MIL has left - oh my goodness what exactly was the purposee of her visit?  How is DH doing?  I sometimes think men and bikes are a bad mix - blokes don't seem to have any fear factor on a bike (my DH refuses to wear a helmet which does my nut in, and may do his in....literally)  Anyway, hope DH gets out soon? 

Ladies - I have the most horrendous headache, have a GP appointment this avo but have called in sick to work and MIL is looking after DD (I'm lucky that my MIL is a bit of an angel). It started last night and my head is pounding at the front, boom boom boom and it's so much worse when I move or bend down.  Does this sound like a migraine?  It's on both  sides and no visual disturbances or anything.  Anyone any tips?  I've never really suffered headaches before so I'm a bit at a loss about what to do...

thanks


----------



## amandaloo

Speeder- lie down in a dark room and rest obviously paracetomol if you will take them x


----------



## margesimpson

Speeder - poor you! That's sounds awful. Thank goodness MIL can help out. I don't get migraines, but did get terrible headaches at the front/around the eyes when I had high blood pressure. Sure that's the first thing they'll check out at the GP, but just thought I'd mention it.


Mx


----------



## *ALF*

Speeder - trying lying down with something cold across your head.  Try across your forehead or even in the nape of your neck (I know that's not where the pain is but trust me it does help).  I have two large cold compress things tht live in my freezer which are great cos are big nough to cover whole of forehead.  If you don't have anything like this then try soaking a tea towel incold water.

(Yes I suffer from migraines.....every month   )


----------



## carrie lou

Speeder you poor thing  I occasionally get migraines but it's typically just one side of my head. I second all the advice already given! Paracetamol, dark room and cold compress on your forehead. Hope you feel better soon  


As for MIL - the purpose of her visit was to spend time with DH and also to "help" me - she stayed at the hospital every night until they kicked her out, and when she was in the house she just got in the way and interfered  One morning at 3am when I was changing and feeding Zac she actually got out of bed to "help"! Can I not even have some space at 3 in the morning! Oh and she reckoned Zac is spoiled  How can a 4 week old baby be spoiled?  


Anyhow DH is home now but pretty helpless. It's almost like having 2 children to look after  


Hope everyone is well


----------



## speeder

Carrie am gobsmacked that mil said a baby could be spoiled, shame on her! You can never give a baby too much love - what kind of mum was she??! Glad dh home and stay sane with your two babies  

Thanks for advice - migraines must be awful. Doc says it's sinusitis as I feel fluey now so on antibiotics. Feel a bit pathetic actually, sinusitis doesn't sound enough to justify how awful I feel!! I actually cried this morning and my wee darling dd said "mummy crying" and looked upset. 

Off to bed, xx


----------



## snoopygirl79

speeder - I had sinusitis when the girls were younger and I felt awful with it so you have my sympathies. Make sure you look after yourself and rest when you can.


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie- your MIL sounds unbearable   how awful she was supposed to be helping not getting in tge way thank goodness she has gone . I'd be very upset if my Mil said my newborn was spoilt just ignore her your doing brilliant  

Sweetdreams - are you still around wondered how you were? 

Juju- glad you enjoyed the holiday  

Speeder- sorry your not feeling well hope you recover quickly 

Hello to other ladies

Afm- seen the midwife last fri , I'm booked in for sweep this Friday. Midwife said it could be 14 days before induction after edd . Hope I don't go that long


----------



## margesimpson

Carrie - that's  really old fashioned view!   I don't think you CAN spoil a baby with love!      


Speeder - I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this!    


Amanda - with any luck things'll start happening after the sweep. How about the old favourite?  



NM - I do hope your "good feeling" is right. I'm trying to be rational without getting told off by DH for being pessimistic, but I know what the odds are for it working. It's a bit like flipping a coin and then waiting 15 days to find out what it is!    I doesn't care how much we want it to be heads or tails or whether we're good people or not and doesn't even remember whether it's been flipped before. See! 2WW madness already!   


Hi and hugs to everyone else,
Mx


----------



## Vix 1

Hello darlings

Rough time some of you are having so loads of 

*Marge*: Rememer you are PUPO Mrs...so keep some healthy sceptism somewhere but allow yourself to believe it has worked too!

*Amandaloo:* You are a totally amazing person to still be cheerful - frankly, to even be able to sit and type on here! You must be so uncomfortable now. I thought I would die in the heat yesterday. HATED having to get the bus (only stopped cycling to work this week and I really miss it) and sit there with sweat pouring down my face!

*Speeder:* You have to look after yourself even more now so hope your head has cleared up xx

*Carrie Lou:* I was sad I have no inlaws (or even parents but that is another story) "to share the joy" etc (And wash my floor!) but now I am not so sure. Your patience is brill though. I would have lost my temper..oooh within a minute of her arrival.

*Northen Monkey:* You have ruined my image of bathtime with new baby - for good!!! 

*AFM:* Feeeling rather down but that is partly due to stupid unfeeling uncaring "senior management team" (where the word management is a rather generous description) at work who have not told me and five others whether we are being made redundant or not (its been hanging over us for five months) as they "haven't got round to making the decision and anyway, one of them has been on holiday. " I think you can imagine the pressure that puts me under - am starting Mat leave tomorow with no idea when or if I will become a single mum on benefits.....  
And no chance to fight my corner or make sure they put me forward for another job (which they are supposed to do) as I will not be there. 

Could use this like a hole in the head so am fighting to focus on what is really important. I see baba's wild grooving (a LOT of wriggling going on down there at the mo) as his way of reminding me that they can all go to hell and that nothing else matters but him.  Hard though eh!

Love to everyone, we all have worries and fears don't we! xxxxx


----------



## Fizzypop

Hi everyone, I'm back and I survived the mud and heat. Just about the worst glasto combination for a pg lady! You lot have been busy while I've been away so am trying to read back whilst getting all my jobs done


----------



## speeder

Hi Amanda - hanging on in there?  

Vix - sometimes it feels like employers are doing us a favour when deciding on redundancies. Imagine us interrupting their holidays?? Then they wonder why staff morale is so low even when we keep our jobs grrr. Hope you ok  

afm, well finally on the mend after an awful few days. Not had a fever like it since a kid, changed my pyjamas every half hour in the night as drenched in sweat. Morning sickness back as not eating but at least headache lifting. Jings!!!! At least I can now lie on the couch and watch tv instead of lying like a zombie in bed.......


----------



## margesimpson

Jingle - OMG poor you! A high fever is pretty scary, but being pregnant you couldn't even take much to control the temperature i suppose? I can't remember - is ibuprofen ok when you're pregnant?


Vix - I know, thanks babe. I'm feeling more positive today - it's a real rollercoaster this though - just need to cling on for another 9 days! BTW I'm no expert but I don't think they can make you redundant when you're on maternity leave and not pay you your full mat leave entitlement. You may even be better off if they give you a decent redundancy package and then you've a while to think of what you want to do next and apply for jobs etc.


Fizzy - we were watching it on TV and it looked FAB! I hope I'm not getting too old as I'd love to go at least once in my life! Perhaps not next year either though as we might have a tiny baby to take care of!?        


Amanda - good luck for the sweep on Fri


Carrie - how are both your babies? Running you ragged?


Mx


----------



## teresal

Marge -- this 2ww must be driving you mad 


margesimpson said:


> Jingle - OMG poor you! A high fever is pretty scary, but being pregnant you couldn't even take much to control the temperature i suppose? I can't remember - is ibuprofen ok when you're pregnant?


----------



## Vix 1

Hi Ladies

*Speeder* you poor poor mite. Bet its just your bod dealing with some lurking nasties to make sure all is ready and safe for your little one.

*Marge:* You are being very disciplined - i would have cheated by now! Keep strong.

As for redundancy - sadly , as I work for a charity my redundancy pay doesn't even hit a months pay. And yes they will stick to my 6 weeks mat pay - that again is barely worth having so it s a bit bleak in Vix Town but on the plus, baba is CATERPAULTING about all the time so I take that as a very good sign. And I have a lovely friend staying who has been talking and hugging my bump which has made me feel really positive.


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Vix- Im so sorry to read that about your works what a pain that is so near to you finishing on mat leave   . Just out of interest what would you have done once babs was born would you have gone back to work soon with only getting that much mat leave entitlement? Have they said who they are making redundant yet? Hows the pg symptoms? Whoever bloomin said going for a long walk will help bring them on wants shooting bloomin long walks in the heat I was knackered on Monday after attempting a 20 m in walk with the dog 

Speeder- Yes im hanging on in here! or he is! Sorry to hear you ahve been so poorly hope its not going to linger for you 

Marge-        

Fizzypop- You managed to get all the mud out! Ive been looking at how much children tickets are to Glasto as my DH is keen to go in 2013 and they are free up until 12 years. MY DH sulked the entire weekend about not going this year drove me a bit mad really!

Teresa- Hows you?

Juju- Have you decided on next years holiday yet? 

has anyone heard off sweetdreams?

Hi to everyone hope you are all ok

AFM- well EDD has come and gone   . My DH keeps saying have a word with bump will you. To be honest think hes a bit peed off as I told him at weekend I wanted him to cut down on the old booze as I wanted him to drive me to hospital (previously he was thinking a taxi would be fine) I was envisaging driving myself at one point. Men eh hes been sulking this week limiting himself to one can... Cant figure out if Im being mean or not but im not asking for much and he hasn't given up booze like i have done. Told him to stop sulking this morning he said he was on tenderhooks and the booze was nothing to do with it hmmmmmm im dubious!! Sweep tomorrow


----------



## Vix 1

Hi Amandaloo - looks live we are both internet junkies this morn! Oh hold on - back in a mo, friend coming down for brekkie xxxx


----------



## Fizzypop

Amanda - have you thought of trying acupuncture? Apparently it does the job. 

We'll be taking bubba to glasto in 2 years. Better not be muddy!

Got to dash as at work.


----------



## northernmonkey

hiya ladies, 

just a quickie from me, waiting for dd to wake up then going to collect my big girl who is at her first settling in session at school.  She went in fine but I blubbed all the way home.    Can't believe my baby is all grown up.  

Amanda - I went to the gym the day before dd1 was born - lots of squats and lunges seemed to get her moving....  and I was even more desperate to get the second one out that I ran round the common chasing the older one for ages - 5 hours later things were progressing nicely...  Not everyone's first choice of things to try but depends how desperate you are....

Marge - glastonbury's not on next year so it'll be perfect timing for your two little ones the following year     

Vix - don't worry, newborns are fine - they poo as soon as they eat (or was that just mine??) so you know when it's safe to get in the bath with them.  My one year old seems to wait until she gets in the bath now then just lets go before we have time to get her out.  Minger.  

Oh there she is now, better go and get her up, sorry for lack of personals but hope everyone's well.

Speak soon.
x


----------



## carrie lou

Grrrrr just lost a long post! That's what you get for trying to type with one hand!  

Amanda - tell your man with any luck he can soon have a few drinks to celebrate baby's arrival! I know how frustrating it is, not sure anything worked to move things along for me but hopefully your sweep will do the trick.

NM can't believe your little one is starting school! Think I will blub too when that day comes  

Hazel - hope you are enjoying your little one  

Speeder hope you're feeling better  

Vix sorry about your work situation  but try to concentrate on baby now.

Fizzy glad you survived, it did look really muddy!  

 everyone else  

AFM - have been for a chat with health visitor this morning, she confirmed my suspicion that Zac seems to have developed colic  Any tips on coping gratefully received! On the plus side he is gaining weight well and now 9lb 11oz at 5 weeks, just above 25th centile. He is well and happy in between the bouts of colic so I'm trying to make the most of the happy times. He is smiling lots now which is wonderful. DH is a bit grumpy, on lots of painkillers still but getting a bit better each day. He's been told not to lift anything heavier than 5lb so can't really help me with Zac at all. Lousy timing.


----------



## juju81

Amanda, nick stopped drinking beg march, I was due 23rd!

Get on with a bit of rumpy pumpy and walking!

Looking at Portugal now  

Carrie lou, can't help I'm afraid, mini might be able to

Sorry wick post as at work!


----------



## speeder

Amanda I think they come when they want no matter what.... I tried blinking well everything - I walked so fast I wad practically jogging, multiple curries but nope. But I didn't try acupuncture and it's amazing for most things so worth a shot? My dh was grumpy about giving up drink too till I told him I would have to walk if he was drunk and that would be embarrassing for him! 

Carrie - colic - a the curse! A dummy got us through it. There is something called colief from boots which can help. Also sometimes watching your own diet can help  - e.g. Try limiting caffeine then dairy for a few days. Doctors pooh pooh it but helped us. Also there is a fine line between colic and reflux so if it becomes all day or lots of milk is coming up then get more help. I Will not bore you with my story but I have a lot of info on it.....! Xx

Nm - I would sob too - what a big day for your precious girl x

Vix - hugs and glad bubba so active. X

On the mend now. Ended up seeing midwife - begging them to see me - hadn't felt baby move since my fever had gone. Lovely midwife found it straight away. Gonna get a Doppler though - reduced to begging phone calls is rubbish! Any tips for a good make? 

Marge. - you sound so calm you are amazing. 9 days to go xx

Hi to everyone else x it's so good to feel nearly better!!!!! Xx


----------



## Fizzypop

Carrie - I've got no idea what colic is (hope I don't get to find out, lol!) but at the baby show I got given a free bottle by a company called mam and it is an "anti colic self sterilising bottle". I've got a magazine which will send you one for free - let me know if you want me to dig out the article.

My advice probably is of no use but I wanted to mention anyway!!! 

My boss is being awful to me at the moment, dh says it's cos she's in a flap about me going off but still makes me feel like a piece of [email protected] Plucking up courage to have it out with her tomorrow! Plus my blood pressure is up so midwife is sending me to hospital tomorrow afternoon for another check and possible blood tests. Probably no wonder because I was stressing about an email I sent to my boss when I went to my midwife appointment on tues!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

carrie there is colic drops you can get from the GP. They are expensive so i would get it from them. If you bottle feed you can get doctor Browns bottles, they are fab. Or try baby massage, rotate his legs like a bicycle after a feed. 

Amanda - DH told me i could take a taxi if he was over the limit    you can bet what i told him after that    I was a week over due.


----------



## Lindz

Oh no Carrie  . Don't get me started on colic. DS (and I) had an awful time and he still has bad days now even though it is supposed to go by 17 weeks. I'm sure Zac won't be as bad as DS. Not much helped us really and we honestly did try everything in the world. Try infacol 10 mins before a feed, keep him upright as much as possible after a feed and, as mini said, baby massage can help. Remember above all that it is nothing you are doing wrong and, even if you don't find a cure or anything that helps it wil pass eventually on its own. I could go on forever but on my phone and don't want to bore everyone so pm me if there's anything I can help with. Also, can't remember who said but watch for reflux and silent reflux (without sick) as there are meds which can help if it's that. Xx


----------



## Lindz

Hello everyone. Can't believe my monsters are 6 months today. How did that happen?! To be honest though I'm enjoying them much more now and think I'm finally getting the hang of this twin Mummy business! X


----------



## margesimpson

Carrie  - oh crumbs, you must be shattered. Colic can be really hard work. We used infacol on a friends recommendation. DS never seemed to be that bad, but their DS was terrible for a while and she swore by it. It seems to take a while to build up to being effective though. Gina Ford (Contented little baby) said that colic can be helped by doing everything possible to ensure bigger and well spaced out feeds. Not sure how you'd persuade Zac about this though - unless he's also read the book?! Hope your DH is on the mend and hope he's doing any little jobs that he can.


DH had been really good and then, but because I was feeling nothing on my due date, he went on a work's night out! Cue contractions to start about midnight!    I also know someone who really did walk to the hospital as DH doesn't "like" to drive   


NM - how exciting starting school - is she already acting older? 2013? How cool would that be? We could stay in the family area and take bubbas to watch the music with little ear protectors on!


Speeder - thank goodness everything is ok, but I think i'd be getting a doppler too after having to grovel for an appt - I think you may have just found a new hobby?


Vix - I never felt huge movements and they all seemed cushioned by the anterior placenta - but it is an amazing feeling. I think the uncertainty about work must make it even worse!    Have a lovely weekend with your lovely friend.


Fizzy - I know you could really do without the horrible boss troubles at this point - but you've got to put you and baby's well being first and try to let it flow off you like water off a ducks back. Perhaps next nasty comment, you could mutter loudly "Water off a ducks back", brushing the air off you, and then give a serene smile. That'll freak them out and they might leave the scary hormonal lady alone!     Seriously though, i know I'd have been terrible in a confrontation and would have started crying or something and then I'd have felt that I'd lost control, been "bested" and it would hang over me in the future that I might have been labelled "unprofessional". 


Amanda - good luck for tomorrow - just think - you could become a mummy this weekend!


Juju - so rumpy to get baby moving and you were back on form 6wks later I seem to remember!    I better not tell DH that - he didn't get much for ages!    

Lindz - 6 mths?! How wonderful - a 1/2 birthday!   Are they interacting with each other lots?

Teresa - YES, YES IT IS!!!!               I know it's far too early but I'm afraid I've started symptom spotting   : Ovulation type twinges, really tired and TMI....noticeable fertile type mucus Or am i just about to ovulate?   


Mx


----------



## juju81

Lindz, I liked Noah hitting 6months too......a year is even better  

Marge     I did wait until I was 8weeks preg tho becaise I was so paranoid.....that was hard!  And it was 3 weeks not 6       I had some crazy hormones running round my body and for some reason was like a dog on heat     

I was a symptom spotter too!  How many dpiui are you?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## Fizzypop

My dh will be so jealous. Haven't let him anywhere near me for months lol!!! Trying to get him to move into spare room so I can have more room in the bed


----------



## northernmonkey

Juju - I don't know how you were at it after 3 weeks!!  Even now I only have one thing on my mind when I get into bed and that's just big fat zzzzz's! 

Marge - I'm pretending to be excited for dd's sake but in reality I'm not ready to let go   .  I'm quite happy with her going to nursery but I just think 4 is too early for school.  Other European countries don't start them until age 6 so I don't know why we have to be different.  I really wanted to keep her in nursery until January or Easter (as long as they start school in the year they turn 5 you can defer their place) but she's going to a tiny village school and all the other kids join in September so I didn't want her to be the only one to go later.  Peer pressure already!!  I was so proud of her though - she can be quite quiet so I wasn't sure how it would go but she walked straight in, and in her words to daddy 'I wasn't even shy!  Just walked in, sat down, got on with it.'  Anyway, it'll give me chance to give dd2 more quality time because I do feel guilty that she misses out.  Part and parcel of having 2 apparently which you will soon find out...

Speeder - glad you're on the mend.  Sinusitus is horrible, I had it after the flu at Christmas and it's sooo painful.  Don't know much about the dopplers I'm afraid but do whatever you need to to put your mind at ease.

Pinkcat - have a great day on Sunday, hope the sun is shining for your little boy's big day.  What's he getting for his first birthday?

Got to dash again, dh has just brought me a cuppa and some choccie and we haven't sat down together properly in days so better give him some attention    

Hi to everyone else, anyone heard from Pippi lately by the way?  I did pm her to ask if all is ok with her and the boys but haven't heard back.  Hope she's ok. 

Fizzy - our posts just crossed.  Glad I'm not the only one


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks everyone for the tips. We have been trying Infacol for a few days, probably too soon to tell if it's helping but I'll keep at it. I think it's probably quite mild colic as he doesn't seem as bad as some people's experiences that I've read about. I've discovered he likes to be carried around the garden for some reason - the light, or fresh air? Something seems to calm him out there anyway  Also he seems more comfy on his tummy so I carry him around the garden face down with his tummy sort of lying along my forearm. Don't know what the neighbours must think of me! But anything that works, right? I'm BFing so the special bottles wouldn't be any use to me I'm afraid, but then BF babies aren't supposed to get colic as badly, but Zac did, so not sure bottles would make any difference  

Oh, just to add to our woes, one of our cats is sick so we have to take him to the vet at 9.30 tomorrow morning. How we are going to get all of us including cat in basket and baby in car seat out of the house and into the vet's by that time of the morning is beyond me, especially as only one of us can actually carry anything!

Lindz - happy half birthday to your twinnies!  

Marge - no, Zac has not read that book I'm afraid!  At 5 weeks he STILL seems to want to feed every 2 hours! I this normal Glad you are coping well with the 2ww  

Pinkcat - happy birthday to your little man  Hope you have a really special day  

Juju - 3 weeks?!  Zac's 5 weeks old and we haven't attempted it since before he was born (tried it as a means of induction but didn't work  )I felt too awful after he was born to even think about it, and now DH is incapacitated, so think it will be a good while yet...


----------



## teresal

Marge -- all sound promising, i wish OTD would hurry up tho, i am getting impatient   

as for the sex thing, oh my god thats the last thing on my mind these days, bed is definately for sleeping and boy does DH know it, good job we have a kingsize bed so i can get away from him    that sounds awful i know    but hey i do give in now and then (but must admit that sometimes i am wishing it over so can get to sleep and know he won't be like a dog on heat for a while    )

mini -- is DS ready for his big day on tues, bless him 1 already 

hope everyone is ok, have a nice weekend


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Tezza  

We are at take that


----------



## carrie lou

Mini didn't realize your little one's birthday was coming up too! Have a lovely day


----------



## margesimpson

Happy Birthday Mini Mini!
Mx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

its not til tues!   

we are doing a tea party for him tomorrrow, but he has a cold and is feeling poo    he stayed at MILs over night for the first time, he did ok but woke at 5am, but i think it was his cold waking him up


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

BTW my waters broke a year today!!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Well - I'm back. Got lots to catch up on. Sorry for no personals.

I have been back in hospital with a very poorly Charley.

All the discussions on breast feeding before I had him - well I have had my punishment for listening to the professionals.......I feel sick with what might have happened......here is a link to our story if you want to read......   

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=251816.msg4528615#msg4528615


----------



## juju81

Hazel   I have 2 friends that happened too. Must be heartbreaking but he's better now and uve got the feeding sorted.

There policy is disgusting. Our hospital was very pro bf but didn't mind u asking for a bottle. The other other we could have gone to is VERY pro bf and that's where my two friends went!

Take care hub

P.s charley is a lovely name xx


----------



## carrie lou

Hazel     It's terrible what you and Charley have been through. BFing can be wonderful when it goes well, but when it doesn't, you should be able to move on to plan B without guilt and with the right information and advice. Glad he is OK now though and I hope you can get on and enjoy these special first weeks with him.


----------



## teresal

Happy Birthday Joshua, hope everyone spoiled you rotten wee man xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

hazel - oh hun what a crock of sh*t    thats disgusting not to listen to you. I really hope they change their policy. Hope you and charley are ok.    The main thing is that charley gets fed no matter how.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pinkcat - DS had his party today too!    He was ill and was in a grump


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat, can't believe Josh is 1 already!

I too can highly recommend M&S cakes. We got Noah the noahs ark one for £45 but lasted ages!!


----------



## speeder

Hazel

Just wanted to say what a wonderful mum you already are. You have pushed a multitude of so called professionals because of your maternal instinct and protected your  little boy. Babies are extremely resilient little things - he will be fine - because of your actions you have taken.  

I am raging on your behalf that you have had to go through this.   

I went through something similar with DD when she was first born - a completely different health issue which I won't bore you with just now - and was told by health visitors, NHS 24, out of hours doctors I was just an "anxious new mum" or "was I becoming post natally depressed because I was worrying too much".  Like you, I was fobbed off for days and like you, I trusted my instincts and although DD wound up in high dependency at the hospital for a week it was soon enough that no damage was done.  I have never forgotten that first early lesson in parenting - never ever be fobbed off by anyone, and especially a patronising professional.  Sometimes common sense counts for more than any number of years at medical school. 

I'm so sorry you've had to go through this.  It makes me so flipping angry every time I read about the zealous breast feeding brigade and the damage they do (and I did breast feed, but wouldn't have minded if I didn't IFYKWIM and chose to use formula after some months and it's amazing stuff too.)

Your little boy is lucky to have you and whatever happens with feeding it sounds like you have more than enough instinct and common sense to make sure he gets the right amount of whatever he receives. 

xx


----------



## teresal

Hazel -- thats absolutely disgusting honey, a mothers instinct is always right. am glad Charlie is on the mend and it really doesn't matter how he gets fed as long as he is gaining weight  

just need to do this now cos probably won't get on here tomorrow, by the time i get Meredith to bed and ready for work i have runout of time so.....

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO ANOTHER SPECIAL WEE BOY, LUCAS EDWARD WILL BE 1 TOMORROW (where has the last year gone) hope he has a great day and gets spoiled rotten            

I can remember sitting thinking this time last year oh my god it's me next  

   to all xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Thanks Tezza    Can;t belive my baby is going to be a toddler    This time last yr i was in hospital waiting to be induced, i was having contractions but no flipping pain relief cos i was on a maternity ward    DH was sent home and told to come back tomorrow    anyway it all turned out ok!

Tezza you are next   

Forgot to say Happy birthday Josh


----------



## teresal

not again   

our babies are growing up so fast its scary


----------



## juju81

Happy 1st birthday Lord    

Tezza, change ur ticker to months and weeks, ur confuses me  

There's news on amanda!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

U can't leave us in suspenders now


----------



## Fizzypop

Happy birthday little mini!

Ooooh can't wait for Amanda to pop back on....


----------



## carrie lou

On tenterhooks for Amanda's news!!!  how exciting


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## juju81

Look on ********  

I'm not sure if she's got someone else announcing her news??

Phoebs??


----------



## northernmonkey

Someone tell me about Amanda, I'm not on ******** so can't find out!!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

And me - don't really know how to use ********


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

you won't be able to see if you aren't on ** or her friend


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## juju81

She had a little boy 4th July! She doesn't want to announce name on here. That's actually all the info there is. Not sure on time/type of birth or weight but she was being kept in hospital until today so hopefully she'll be on soon to update us with the birth details/weight etc!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

congrats amanda   

Pinkcat - Its funny how different they all are! There will be no stopping him now! Have you lowered the mattress?


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies sorry I only got out of hospital yesterday . Had a bit of a time with it lol !! Had induction due to preeclampsia , ended up in theatre for a forscep delivery and hand removal of placenta . Then infection after birth so been in hospital 6 days in total ..... Oh and been cut and stitched 
The best thing is my announcement that our precious little boy was born 4th July 2011 at 6:11am. He is beautiful  fit and healthy. Managing to breastfeed with some formula top ups when I need them 
feeding that from a cup. Weight 7 13
We are a very proud mummy and daddy to Noah x


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## Vix 1

LOADS OF CONGRATS AMANDA XXXXXX         Even if he is an old man of three days old already!

Sorry you had such a traumatic time of it - have been getting a little scared reading you all lately. Especially as I am learning some seriously eye opening things from my NCT ante natal classes - about our rights mainly and all the myths from the medics...but for now I will leave that to one side to say once again..WELL DONE AMANDA AND BELATED WELL DONE TO HAZEL!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


----------



## amandaloo

It's worth everything vix don't worry . I had epidural at around 6cm I'd highly recommend especially after induction most midwifes on preblabour ward recommended it after induction. Every birth different try not to worry yours will be fine I'm sure x


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda      Enjoy every minute with your precious little man!


Vix don't worry about it, things rarely go exactly to plan but it doesn't matter, just trust your own instincts and the doctors and midwives. On the day all you will really care about is the safe delivery of your baby. And I agree, epidurals are the best!


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## teresal

Congratulations Amanda and DH      well done honey, love the name and he was a good weight   

xx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Have an epidural Vix!


----------



## *ALF*

Amandaloo & DH - 
        HUGE CONGRATULATIONS ON THE SAFE ARRIVAL OF NOAH       

Enjoy every moment with your precious bundle   

VIX - I'm another lover of the epidural!!!!!!


----------



## Vix 1

You bad girls! No epidurals. I shall simply imagine forests and mountains and my baby shall magically appear in the hospital birth pool (which is of course, available exactly when needed) after I have taken one or two deep breaths. He will latch on perfectly and all the midwives will applaud and doves and bluebirds will fly round my head. Of course.


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## Fizzypop

Vix - that is how my birth is going to go too   

I'm scared


----------



## carrie lou

Vix     If only!


----------



## Vix 1

F Pop - don't be scared darlin. Firstly you don't know what there is to be scared of - only the unknown. Also Trillion billions of women have done it so we can certainly do it ok! xx


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## Vix 1

P/S Just been to see my friend. She's loved seeing my bump so thought she would give it a go and come off the pill. It has taken her...wait for it... the grand total of 4 weeks to conceive. Yes of course I am delighted for her but oh how easy some get it eh?!


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## carrie lou

Vix I know the feeling, when I was about 18 weeks pregnant my best friend of many years decided she wanted one too, and conceived in the 2nd month of trying! After it took us 2 years! I was thrilled for her but really ... I was very glad I was already pregnant otherwise I would have been gutted.   But her baby is due in September and now I'm looking forward to us doing "baby" things together and our little ones playing together  


Fizzy don't be scared honey, after all loads of us have been through it and survived to tell the tale! And remember whatever happens you'll be coming home with a wonderful little bundle in your arms


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## juju81

Fizzy, now, I'm going to be honest here. It hurts like hell. There's no denying it. U can't begin to imagine the pain BUT it is so so worth it when you get to see this human being you have grown to perfection. Take the drugs if offered, why put yourself through it when it can be relatively pain free (my epidural didn't work but I'm an extreme case and couldn't have full amount due to morphine intolerance) and people go on to have more, it can't be that bad       

Are u next on the hit list


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## Lindz

Congratulations Amanda! Glad you have your precious boy home safe and sound. 

To everyone else- what your birth wasn't exactly how Vix describes?? Oh, ok then, another epidural fan here too. Looking back though I can't actually remember it being that bad. Unlike the first night in hospital with 2 babies, no support and being unable to move which I still have nightmares about but that's another story! 

Seriously, try not to worry about it. It is hard but not constantly and you can have drugs if you need them and it does end and then you have your baby and forget about it xxxx


----------



## Vix 1

I think I may be next?   Also, joking aside, am sure its rare, but i have known a couple of ladies at least who have had very chilled out and not very painful births - with no drugs of any kind.  Interestingly they were home births, wih doulas and they had trained in breathing etc 

I've seen the videos so it wasn't just rose-tinted after the birth report xxx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Don't you just decide to have a baby one evening then, and the next morning there is a moses basket containing a present from the stork under the gooseberry bush?

I must have got it all wrong !    

It does seem through that some people have it that easy.

Big congratulations to Amanda     

On the note of bottles vs cup vs breast, after our awful blip and stay on SCBU due to the breast feeding difficulties, I can truthfully say that the baby does not get confused - my baby is starting to take to the breast feeding now he is feeling well and suckled beautifully from me for 45 minutes one side and 30 minutes the other this evening. He can also take from a bottle very well. The SCBU nurses say the babies do not get confused, even the premature ones later on in their stay after they have spent many weeks on intravenous feeding and nasogastric tube feeding. It is quite hard work to cup feed and the baby has to be fully awake. You have to decide what is right for you, but my baby seems to be doing well on what I am doing now. We are now back up to birth weight and he has put on 100grams in 2 days.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

how do you feed with a cup then? !!


----------



## pinkcat

I tried cup feeding for about 1 day! I found it a complete faff and the milk kept spilling everywhere. It's a tiny little cup that you put to the baby's lips and they kind of lap the milk out of it...reminded me of a kitten! It's supposed to help when you want to continue breastfeeding so you don't need to introduce a bottle and get them confused. I wish I had known that some babies will take bottle and breast like Hazel's and I might have tried breastfeeding a bit longer    I was led to believe it had to be one or other.


----------



## Fizzypop

When I went to the baby show the "bf expert" that mil dragged me along to see said that she doesn't believe in nipple/teat confusion, but I'm not so sure I'd want to take chance. I think I'll give it two weeks before I try the bottle - if I can of course! I've seen one of my friends get sucked into breast is best and ended up in hospital for 10 days because they wouldn't discharge her until she was feeding baby. I'm taking some formula in my hospital bag just in case (DH not happy about that).

On another note, I finish work end of this month. Yay!

We had NCT bf session the other day and the ice breaker was "what do you want your baby to inherit from your partner". Hmmmm...DH wasn't there but I made up something about personality!


----------



## margesimpson

!!!


----------



## Lindz

Marge-   !!!!! Xx


----------



## Fizzypop

No way marge- you can't keep us in suspense!!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Omg marge!!!!!!!!!     

Fizzy just remind dh that it's not him thatsos having his nipples chewed on and sucked to death!!   plus not all women can bf so baby needs feeding somehow!   if I were u fizzy learn how to wash sterilise and make up bottles just in case or else u could end up like me and have to try and read the instructions at 5am on babys first night home!!!  

Re bottles I don't believe they get confused either. My friend used both after 3 weeks and everything was fine,


----------



## carrie lou

Fizzy I think you're wise to be prepared. I wouldn't have known how to make up a bottle if I'd needed to, I was very fortunate that BFing went so well for me. It's better to be prepared than have to send DH out for formula in the middle of the night and have to learn how to make it up with a screaming baby in the background.  


Re confusion - we've just given Zac his first bottle of expressed breast milk today, he took a few goes learning how to drink from the bottle but he still latches on to the breast perfectly - so no confusion here either. I did wait until he was 6 weeks though.


Marge -


----------



## *ALF*

Marge - have replied on the other thread   

On the nipple confusion thing - I'm also a believer that they don't get confused, I gave J a  dummy at 5 days old and a bottle at 5 days and it never caused her a problem, unfortuntely my lack of supply did!! My friend mixed fed all 4 of hers from day one and none ever had a problem!!

I would second what Mini says about reading up on preparing a bottle before the birth, just incase!


----------



## speeder

Hey ladies haven't you heard of the wonderful invention of ready made aptamil in the little blue cartons?! You just open it and stick it in the sterilised bottle and hey presto! It's more expensive than powder but great for emergencies! Also just buy a microwave steriliser bag at the start - it's all you need for a few bottles.

I totally agree about teat confusion being a myth - dd took to a dummy and teat and breast feeding with no problems. I think it's a myth made up by the breast feeding brigade!! 

Vix honey are you next?! Xx


----------



## Fizzypop

Speeder- my friend (same friend as above) her DH went out and bought a while tray from the supermarket of them. Bless him!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Fizzy - We used the cartons for a few days until i sorted myself out, i also used the ready sterilised bottles from the hospital (i didn;t take any food or bottles in as i was going to breast feed    ) i 'borrowed'    some bottles from the hosptial to get me started at home as we didn't get home til 930 at night after  me discharging myself!    )

Spooks - its bound to play on your mind hun    all the best for the next tx


----------



## spooks




----------



## Fizzypop

Our PCT have changed their policy and don't provide any milk - there is a big sign up at the clinics...get the logic - they pay for 3 cycles of IVF but not formula!!!

Spooks - good luck with the next cycle. You do it when you are ready. If it means waiting a month or two it doesn't matter.     

Damn dog woke me up at 6 am cos he needed the loo, then he started whining when I locked him back in the kitchen. Now we are sitting on the sofa together. Ahhh, all good practice!! 

I signed up for pregnancy yoga yesterday so after reading Spooks post am feeling very positive     They also get you to go on a yoga in labour class so will definitely give that a go now. 

Off to a wedding today. Hope the swelling on the legs doesn't get too bad cos I've got a knee length dress and 2.5" heels to wear (oh and bought a naughty underwired bra to "prop" everything up...got well dodgy looks in M&S but I figured it'll be alright just for the day!!!


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Can I just apologise I was in a rush when i was writing about the birth etc . All I want to say is that throughout all the birth I was told I was cool as a cucumber and midwife said they wish everyone was like me! Yes it may sound a bit traumatic but in reality I just got on with it. When I said I had a bit of a do with it I just meant being in hospital for 6 days didn't get any sleep before or after the birth so was exhausted . Hope that clears it up . I feel awful ppl being scared as it really wasn't as bad as it sounds written down ...


----------



## Fizzypop

Amanda - didn't read it like that! Hope all is going well x


----------



## Vix 1

Loving reading all the birth tales and tips ladies - thanks for sharing those.   
Am feeling very radical and empowered after VERY interesting "Mothers rights" angle of my NCt classes. Have just read brill book they gave me called "Am I allowed" which blows lots of these medical myths and things they want you to do to make life easier for the staff in hospital right out of the water! If I'm not careful I will start a riot instead of givng birth!

My top things i learned are to make sure they do not cut the cord until i say and I also am going to say no to Vit K. This book also warns you of the top excuses they might give as to why you cant use the birthing pool and the government position on some of the thing s they might want you to do that you dont have to (like getting them to check baby while he is in your arms not take him away and weigh him and all that when he needs to bond).

Ladies this is all a sensitive subject and i am aware I might not be able to get all these things I want and I am not saying it is the right way either. But crikey it has been an eye opener and by the sounds of it, some of you didn't get things the way you wouldl have liked them either! Brill book was from the Assoc of ..oops I forgot. But initials are AIMS.

P.S For sure Yoga is the way forward I think. I got overheated and had to stop my classes  but what I did learn is really going to help I think. 

Ps S Yes I think I am next. Bloody hope so!


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Vix, just wanted to say if you make all those things clear in your birth plan and make sure the midwife looking after you knows what you want, it shouldn't be a problem. In particular, I  also wanted skin to skin contact with Zac when he was born rather than having him taken away for checking etc. In the end he did get checked almost straight away by a paediatrician because he'd been showing signs of distress - an example of how things don't always go according to the birth plan! - but once she'd said he was OK, he came straight back to me for skin to skin. I was cuddling him for well over an hour before they took him to be weighed, measured etc. In fact I think they actively encourage this because it is supposed to help establish breastfeeding. And whether or not to have Vit K I think would be entirely your choice.


Not long to go for you - very exciting!


----------



## northernmonkey

Fizzy - Have you thought about hypnobirthing?  You're just at the right stage of pregnancy to start it - I did a course when preggars with dd2 and it made a huge difference to my labour.  I was terrified of giving birth the first time round and that labour took forever - I was 2cm dilated for hours and hours and am convinced that it was because I just couldn't let go.  Second time around I felt really confident from the hypnobirthing that I could just leave it all to my body and the baby, and although I was still nervous when things got going, I was able to just let go.  DD2 was born after just 4 hours and was delivered at home by my dh because we hadn't realised that labour was so advanced.  It really was an amazing experience and I really believe that it wouldn't have gone anywhere near as smoothly without the hypnobirthing.  I'm no earth mother but am the biggest wuss so yes it does hurt, but I really think that the important thing is not being scared, and honestly, for me the hypnobirthing solved that.


----------



## speeder

Northern monkey - that's a really interesting one as I have been thinking about hypnobirthing this time round. With dd I had a rapid very painful labour and third degree tear - large baby - and no pain relief ouch. Was sure I wanted pain relief next time but now I am not so sure as I like to keep control over progress. Did hypnobirthing relieve pain at all? Any recommendations? 

Vix - good on you being so prepared. I think they are way better at letting you get in the pool now. My only slight cautionary tale is you are more likely to tear with a water birth but it does massively relax you. X

Speeder x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Vix are you letting the baby have vit k drops? 

My ds. Needed scbu for breathing difficulties and anti biotics cos my waters broke before labour. I was  to Ill to  have him anyway. I got him back 10 hrs later and we bonded fine. U just need do what's right at the time and if being away from me saved his life then I'd do it again


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Vix - Why would you not want vitamin K if it could prevent your baby having a stroke?

It is worth thinking abut carefully - the situation I ended up in with the baby in severe dehydration - the risks to the fragile blood vessels in his brain bleeding and causing him long term brain damage would have been much increased if he had not had the vitamin K.

Also cutting the cord - yes you could argue that you want it to stop pulsating and all the cord blood to go back to the baby, but there may be an increased risk of severe jaundice from the extra blood the immature liver has to process. My baby was born with very high haemaglobin levels anyway and was very pink - he ended up with severe jaundice - it could have been even worse and he might have needed a complete blood exchange had he had the cord blood too.


----------



## northernmonkey

Speeder - I had an epidural with dd1 and don't know how I would have managed without it.  The pain can't have been as bad with dd2 otherwise I would have demanded to be taken to hospital for another epidural! I think it was less painful because the hypnobirthing gave me so much confidence that  I didn't have the fear I had the first time round so was physically more relaxed.  I did have some gas and air because the paramedics had some with them (they were here incase I needed to be transferred to hospital before the midwife arrived,) but it was just to take the edge off the pain really. DD2 was almost 9lb and I didn't need a single stitch - I delivered her on hands and knees which apparently prevents tearing but again, I think the hypnobirthing also helped because I just let her make her own way out rather than pushing (probably wouldn't have happened if the midwife had arrived on time so am really glad she was late!!)  I'm sure there will be ladies out there who say hypnobirthing did nothing for them, but for me it was fantastic and I can be a bit of a sceptic with these things....


----------



## Vix 1

Hi everyone - lovely to hear all this further info and thoughts on achieving natural birth etc. Please can I re iterate again that I know it is different for everyone and that some of us have every reason to be very grateful for the system when things go wrong - i may well end up having every drug under the sun myself!

BUT I have really looked into this and certain things, for me I just don't like. Vit K is very controversial and I may have the drops after the birth itself (though they are a higher dosage than the jab at birth) but it is all weighing up odds and calculating risk. The type of internal bleeding which is what the Vit K is thought to prevent, is very rare and some experts believe the baby is slightly low in these levels at birth for a sound physiological reason. What swung it for me is that my very conventional midwife said she wouldn't have the jab for her own childdren and hates injecting babies as soon as they appear. She thinks (and i do) that it is an unecessary trauma and a strain on a newly developing immune system for very little gain.

The cord cutting is what has me most interested though. Best of all, I believe, is to leave baby attached for as long as mum wants. Lots of research to show the beneifts of this - such as it helps the placenta to be delivered effectively, continues to supply oxygen, calms baby in those crucial first minutes and passes on lots of useful hormoney stuff to mum. Apparently, if they cut it and you have asked them not to, it comes under assult legally!

*h Hazel,* you seem a bit upset with what I said. Please don't be. Sounds like you had an exceptionally unwell baby you poor thing and a very traumatic time so my talk of all this is probably very annoying - its just that i have heard these things from a lot of people and it is the best way for me.

*N Monkey:* what you have written about your experience mirrors those we have been learning about with the NCT and is everything i hope for with my birth. Breathing down the back of the baby! Hold for four!

*M Mini* - like I say, I am no birth expert, that is you Mums who have already been through it and I am sure you will bond fine after a gap. I guess the main thing in my mind i have learned is that the majority of births can be natural and it is only the unfortunate few who run into difficulties. I think we are taught that it is the other way round in this society so there is a lot of unecessary fear.

*Carrie Lou* - yes i will make those things clear although they have told me they "don't bother with birth plans any more!!"

*Speeder:* If anyone will get that pool it will be me! Have been practicing nice but firm!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Vix I am quite concerned u are not giving the vit k? The babies don't know about it. Ds was on antibiotics with blood tests which made him scream but without them he may not be here. Why avoid something that could save a life? 

He hates the Calpol but I'm sure he'd rather  a second of meds to hours of pain


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## Vix 1

Hia Mini

As you know, vit K has also been linked to some rather nasty things. Its all about calculated risk and being informed as far as i can see. xxx


----------



## Vix 1

P.S Many believe you can easily get sufficient Vit k into the baby by making sure you take it during pregnancy and also while breastfeeding (via food or supplements).


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

I am not upset - I am a hospital pharmacist and wanted you to consider the flip side of the coin during the process of your informed consent, with a real life example of what can happen in a healthy newborn in the week after birth from a simple thing like lactation failure/feeding difficulties. I have looked after babies on SCBU in the past who have had cerebral haemorrhages after birth.

If you are talking about the possible association with leukaemia from the 1980s, this has been disproven by many, many follow up studies in many countries.

http://www.womens-health.co.uk/vitk.asp

It is rather like the paper that, now struck off, doctor wrote about autism and mmr. He has caused epidemics of measles that can cause severe brain damage, blindness and deafness. People forget how dangerous the flip side of the coin is and just how many have been put at risk. You have to look at relative risks and compare that way, and look at all the papers, not just scaremongerers or individuals with an opinion. The health advisers to the government look at all the evidence properly, they are not deliberately out to get you!

I think the mother would have to take very high doses of vitamin k for some time to make a difference. With our ladies on anti-epileptics, I believe we get them to take 10mg daily for a month, I could be wrong as I have not worked in outpatients dispensary for a while.

/links


----------



## Vix 1

Have sent you a P M Hazel as keen to avoid any altercations!


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## juju81

Vix, I find this thread somewhat alarming.

It's all very well taking calculated risks but why even take a risk when it comes to your precious newborn baby  . I'm actually shocked you've been given this advise by a professional.  What i was advised to do I did.  Also don't assume ur be able to give him it via bm as u may not be able to

My baby also had very severe jaundice and spent 5 days I'm hospital, it's not a pretty thing to see as some of the others have been through too.

I wish you well vix and I really hope ur decisions don't come back to bite u on the bum


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## Vix 1

Certainly don't want to alarm anyone so suggest we end this ! All I will say is that I do not think that everything the hospitals do is necessarily putting the mother and baby first. 
Ok, subject closed? ! xx


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## *ALF*

Vix - I don't think it's fair to end the discussion without explaining more fully your opposition to the vit K - you say about 'vit K has been linked to some very nasty things' but don't explain what or how strong that link is; you also say 'some experts believe the baby is slightly low in these levels at birth for a sound physiological reason', but don't explain what this reason is.  I think it would be helpful to elaborate on these points  - if only to allow other pregnant ladies reading this to make the calculated decision you talk about.
Just want to make clear here that I am not judging you or your decision, just feel it may help the situation if some further explanation is given.


----------



## Vix 1

Hi Alf

This info is out there and easy to find, and I would prefer others to look into it only if they are interested rather than risk alarming or upsetting people on here. There are always risks attached with interventions and there is no wrong or right way - it is down to personal feelings and choice, of course. This is the last I am going to say on it if thats ok. ! xxx


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## speeder

Vit k injections were loosely linked to leukaemia but, as Hazel said, later studies have shown there to be no link. You can also request vit k fir your baby orally but it's a faff and needs a follow up dose. I am a real worrier and after looking into it decided dd would have it. I think the risks of not are small but I don't believe the nhs offers anything that costs it money for fun! 

I attended nct classes and found them very one sided. I am a bit of a hippy at heart but even for me the nct seemed very anti nhs, medicines, the lot. If I had followed the nct's advice and had a home birth I would likely have not lived to tell the tale! I also dislike their breast feeding stance, even tho I breast fed, for being ridiculously inflexible and not appreciating the realities. 

So from this hippy tree hugger, all going well I plan to have my baby in a well equipped hospital, and thank my lucky stars I can do so! 

Its all so personal and life is all about risk. Just wanted to add my tuppence worth from someone who was very pro nct and is now less so!


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## speeder

Vix - if you do have a water birth it does take time for them to get to the cord anyway so it's left longer... Do research the whole tearing thing a bit honey, the nct didn't tell me that bit about water births and it wasn't nice but it certainly doesn't always happen x


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## Fizzypop

NM - would like to try the hypno birthing but not sure DH "believes" in it all that much. Maybe I get him to do the course with me not with the intention of using it instead of pain relief etc, but as an etra string to our bow so to speak! Will google search some courses! Mind you, my friend used hypo birthing so could just ask her. 

Hazel - you mentioned something about natural birth of the placenta and extra blood - do you know where I can get some more info? NCT were waxing lyrical about the benefits but did not go thru disadvantages so it's interesting. 

Not sure who said that they found NCT a bit too one sided but completely agree. DH as a nurse sits thru classes muttering under his breath!! 

Got talking to a few pg/just had babies at the wedding yesterday and was useful to hear about hospital choice so more decisions to make. Oh and mum is coming round in a few minutes so we can work out whether the car seat will fit in my mini, lol! Keep your fingers crossed everyone!!!


----------



## margesimpson

Hiya all!


My, you've been having some good debates!    


I loved the NCT classes because I made some great friends who i've stayed in touch with and because we were told we could have a glass of wine every now and then even if we were breast feeding!   I think it depends a lot on your teacher though. As for pain control - I found the TENS machine really good for the first few hours - never really got a chance to test it during the latter stages though due to the old pre-eclampsia/section stuff. You can't use it in the birthing pool though of course! Our classes didn't show us many options for re-useable nappies and I remember thinking I don't think so! In hindsight though, I wish I'd looked into reuseable nappies more - there are some really good ones out there now and goodness, we have produced a lot of dirty nappies! 


Pippi - are you still running your site?


NM - I'm in total awe of a natural birth at home. I'd love to try, but know I'd need to be in hospital after last time. I would like to start of labouring and try to avoid a 2nd C-section if at all possible.  


Speeder - how strange to think we may have passed each other in the street and never know!    Which hospital do you think you'll go for? ERI or St.J?


Happy hugs   
Mx


----------



## carrie lou

I too have heard the argument that newborns may be vit K deficient for a sound reason BUT as far as I know, no one seems to know exactly what this reason is.   I chose for my baby to have the vit K injection as I preferred him to have it all in one dose, it might have prevented a serious illness, and as far as I could see it was relatively harmless - barring a moment of discomfort which I don't believe did him any long term harm.


Regarding leaving the cord attached - yes this is feasible if everything is OK, but my baby had to be whisked off to be checked by a paediatrician almost as soon as he was delivered, so they had to cut the cord immediately. I had no strong feelings about this but would far rather they cut it and do what they need to do in order to make sure he was OK. He came back to me for skin to skin as soon as the doctor was happy with him, and I don't believe our bonding suffered in any way from this brief separation. 


It's absolutely fine to have a firm idea of what you would like to happen in an ideal situation, just be prepared that things often have to change for very good reason i.e. the wellbeing of you or baby   


Marge - we are using reusable nappies  I love them - they honestly are just as easy to use as disposables, I wash them every other day and it gives me a warm glow to see how many I've saved from landfill  Also a big money saver compared to disposables and Z does look cute with cotton on his bum


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

To be honest I think it's foolish and totally irresponsible to put u and your baby at risk for the sake of some fandangled idea. And as for the midwife saying that, she should be reported. 

Like someone said, the nhs would not waste money on such treatment if it wasn't necessary. Everyone has their own opinion but I do find this alarming and really unnerving to think people would risk the life of a baby, and also pg woman are reading this  and someone who is not as clued up to research it could end up with a seriously ill baby.   sorry but I can't read this anymore


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## Fizzypop

Carrie - which reusuable's are you using? I was always dead against them but MIL dragged me round all the shows at the baby show and I was quite taken by them!


----------



## hopingagain

Hi ladies I think its about time I joined this thread as I am 21 weeks pregnant from using ds. 

We found out last week that we are having a baby girl. We are so excited as already got a 6 year old son from ds also. 

I hope to get to chat to you all xx

Hope you dont mind me joining xx


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## speeder

Hi hoping again congratulations - a little girl ! Hope you are keeping well? 

I guess on the old vit k we all just have to live and let live. Parenthood seems to me to be about making decisions and weighing up risks everyday and everyone has their own way and different thresholds. Way more stressful than vit k is the whole vaccination debate - definitely one for another day! 

My dh is the most laid back man on the planet about all these things and lets me make the decisions which isn't great either! 

Anyway hope all can move on from the vit k debate.... Many times I wish google hadn't been invented. 

Marge - I just go for the new royal - although other family members swear by st johns. Where are you thinking of? If I pass anyone that looks like marge Simpson in the street with a one year old I shall wink surreptitiously. Unless of course that is your real name ..... 

Nite, speeder x


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## northernmonkey

Fizzy - my dh wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the hypnobirthing, not least because we had to pay for it!!  We actually paid for a private course so the lady came to our house - purely because we couldn't make the times of local group sessions but dh was happier with that anyway as he's not really into anything that might involve an audience!  

Marge - I still can't actually believe that I had a home birth cos I worry so much about things going wrong, but the hospital were so short staffed when I had dd#1 that I decided I would feel better looked after having 2 midwives (which is the legal requirement) at home.  Obviously dh ended up as midwife anyway so best laid plans and all.... Still, better that he delivered baby at home than in the car which probably would have happened had we tried to reach hospital!  I tested positive for group B strep after having dd#2 so if we do have another baby it could end up being another hospital birth but that's fine, whatever is best for baby.  

Hoping again - hello and welcome!  A little girl, how lovely!  I love having girls, they're fab.  

speeder - my dh leaves all the decision making to me too - I chose dd's primary school without him visiting it so heaven help him if he ever finds fault with it...

Had a very exciting day today - my big girl learned to ride her pedal bike!! She's had a balance bike for about a year and a half (they are fantastic - i highly recommend them) and we bought her a second hand pedal bike last week, took her out on it this morning and within 10 minutes she was away!  Totally bypassed the stabiliser stage, I'm soooo proud of her!!  Can't believe my baby is so grown up...


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Fizzy - I was asking the midwife at the antenatal classes about donating cord blood and whether it was possible at the hospital. It wasn't unless I wanted to keep it myself for our family use and pay a company to come in and do it. I asked if the baby suffered any damage from not having the cord blood back and about asking for the cord to stop pulsating/choosing when it was cut in a c-section if I did not donate the cord blood.
She said that they usually cut it straight away so that they can get the baby breathing and checked over ASAP. 
She then said that in poorer countries where iron levels and general nutrition are very poor, the cord blood is important to the baby. In this country, where women are well cared for, well nourished and have higher haemaglobin levels, the babies receiving all the cord blood tend to be more jaundiced as they have more fetal blood to process with the immature liver.

My baby was severely jaundiced as it was anyway on double photo therapy. If the levels had been any higher he might have had to have a complete blood exchange and might have suffered long term brain damage, so I am glad he did not have even more to deal with.

Here is a wikipedia article which supports the jaundice information.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_cord_clamping#Clamping_and_cutting

/links


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## carrie lou

Hoping - lovely to see you over here honey   


Fizzy - we are using Little Lambs nappies  I found the choice of brands totally overwhelming and baffling but discovered little lambs website (google them) which seemed to simplify the whole process. One type of nappy in a choice 3 fabrics. I love them, the only disadvantage I've found is that they can take rather a long time to dry (I have the cotton and bamboo ones). So if you don't have a tumble dryer I would recommend the microfibre ones which dry quicker.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

We donated our cord blood. Our hospital are one of the few that do it.


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## pinkcat

I am not going add anything to the vit k debate    there are obviously strong opinions on both sides  

I'm surprised more hospitals don't take donated cord blood, we'd have donated if it had been an option.   

Hi hopingagain,   , a girl, how lovely.     

To those using reusable nappies    . I researched it while pg but chickened out, as got so confused by all the different types and worried about how I'd manage to wash them. I still feel mega guilt at the bag fulls of disposables I put out each week.  

NM -well done your big girl riding her bike!    ...is a balance bike the one without any pedals on it?



pinkcat x


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## teresal

hi girls

hope everyone is ok   

can i just pick your expert brains   

I am working with a lady who is 21 weeks pg (edd 23rd nov), she has put in for her 4 weeks holiday in sept then to stat her mat leave straight after that, my work have told her shes not entitled to 4 weeks holiday and that she can take 1 and that shes not entitled to may pay cos shes on a relief contract. she works the same 2 nights every week and has done for months and has always had holidays and holiday pay in the past (there is another lady who is relief and she doesn't get holiday pay when shes off), shse obviously upset and now worried as she doesn't know what they are going to do if they don't pay her mat pay, i don't know if my manager is just being awkward with her or not as she is from the Philippines and doesn't always understand what shes being told, she now asked me to help her find out what her rights are.
my manager has also told her NOT to talk to anyone about this but just to go to her    i know when i was pg i was on a 0 hours contract and i still got all my holidays (which i took at the start of my mat leave) and got the full 39 weeks mat pay. any info from you would be good cos i don't know where to start

will try and get on later to do personals, am shattered at the moment, but hey whats new on that one


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## Fizzypop

T - what's a relief contract?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

usually with relief work you don't get holiday pay or mat pay but i thought a new law came in that they got some holiday entitlement? what have they been doing in the past with Annual leave? I would be aurprised if they get Mat pay. she needs to find out from HR. 

Fizzy relief work is work when needed, bit like agency work.


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## pinkcat

if she can't get maternity pay then she should at least be able to claim maternity allowance.


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## margesimpson

Teresa - have you asked the lawyer? In the NHS I _think_ that even a 0hrs contract is a _contract_ and would entitle you to mat leave. Bank/agency/relief doesn't necessarily - it'll be pretty clear in her terms and conditions, however she may be able to contest this and should def look into it.

Mx


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## Fizzypop

There is a new law due to come in that agency workers get same rights as employees, normally agencies pay holiday pay as a % on top of hourly rate. 

Who is she employed by, who pays her and when did she start work with them? The holiday pay that she has received in the past, how was this paid?

Also, does she pay national insurance?


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## northernmonkey

Teresa - Citizens Advice may also be able to help??  I have absolutely no idea as to rights to pay/leave sorry!

Ladies, I also need some advice.  Our eldest daughter starts school in September and unfortunately we couldn't get her into the school we really loved as it was over subscribed.  She was allocated the same school as 4 of her friends from nursery and although it is a nice little school, it didn't really compare to our first choice.  DD had her two settling in mornings earlier this month and loved it, the teacher is lovely and of course the bonus is that she knows half of the class already.  So I was finally happy with the way things had turned out and overjoyed that DD seems so excited about going full time in September.  then the curveball .... the admissions team of our local council have just rang to say a space has become available at our first choice!!!! (we were 6th on the waiting list so I didn't really expect to get a place.) What should we do?!!!!  I've spoken to DH and he says accept the place.  I feel we should, the school is perfect - they are big into music and drama which DD is good at, it has an outstanding ofsted rating and all the parents I know whose kids go there just love it - but I feel really guilty at the thought of confusing her when she has already been to the other school.... how do I tell her that she can't go there with her friends anymore?  I'm in tears at the thought of it, I know kids are adaptable and I shouldn't base her first 7 years education on a relatively small bit of upheavel now but I'm just so worried about how she'll take it....  Advice please!!!


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## margesimpson

Tricky, but for me, I'd go with your first choice school. She will be ok. Otherwise any issues with the school and you'll always be thinking, if only!

Mx


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## Fizzypop

NM - what is it about the other school that you didn't like as much? What are it's ofsted ratings?

It's a really difficult one because she may find it difficult to settle in the new school? Or are there other kids from the nursery there too?

What about comparing the exam results (is it says they do?) What is local perception of both schools? Failing that - good ol google


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## teresal

thanks ladies

fizzy, shes employed by the care home and gets paid all money from them, she pays national insurance, she started work there june 2010

we don't have an HR dept, everything is delt with by the home manager cos its a small care home (and shes a control freak), there isn't anything in any of our contracts about mat leave/pay. its just a minefield at the moment, am going with her next week to get some advice from the law centre or CAB

NM -- aww honey, can't she go into the new school for a morning and see how she likes it then make a decision, but then again if the new scholl is better then i am sure that after the first day of term she won't even remember the other school. good luck with making that decision, thankfully we only have the 1 school so no choice but for meredith to go into the small village one


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## pinkcat

NM - If I were you I would send her to the first choice school. At that age she is bound to make new friends quickly. She will still be starting at the beginning of a new school year, not half way through a term.


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## juju81

Ahh that's a tough one NM. I'd be inclined to send her to the first choice BUT is it because the school supposedly has a better reputation/selfish reasons (I don't mean that in a nasty way) alot of parents round my way rave about a certain school and move areas just to get there kids in and slate the other schools however, the schools my sisters kids go to hbw just got kids SATS levels of 3 so it can't be that bad! 

On the other hand your'd want ur child o be happy and if she's happy and excited now will it nit muddy th waters?? 

Oh, I don't know now what I would do. Bugger.

Sorry, not much help


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Teresal - if you like I can get you access to the work issues board? Let me know.

NM - has she got any little friends going to first choice school, or are they all going to the other. If she has, then why not ask her if she would like to go to school with them. Could you take her to meet the teacher/see the first choice school? I don't think you remember early days at school unless something traumatic happens.
I had no friends in my class when I first started as I was in reception from Easter and everyone else had been there from September or Christmas. They were all friends already and school was a horrid, scary place as far as I was concerned. A teacher told me off for not playing one day (I was shy and scared, wondering who I could play with as everyone was in their friendship groups and I did not know them) and dragged me across the classroom. It affected my ability to function at school for around 4 years, I absolutely dreaded going and my mother was told I would never pass an exam when I was 7. I ended up with post graduate degrees, so that was a load of rubbish, but you can see how my early days at school were affected by the trauma. I shudder when I think of infant school. I was also bullied there.

Being happy, having good friendly teachers, and having friends at school is sometimes more important than super duper facilities. It helps children to learn and flourish and enjoy going to school. If these criteria can be met at the new school then she will be fine. Otherwise, I would be inclined to stick with the option she is so happy about.


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## juju81

Wise words hazel! Ur last paragraph is what I meant but I went around the houses trying to explain myself!!!


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## Fizzypop

Ok, what do you ladies make of this: one of my colleagues at work leans over the desk and says to me quietly "did you go to a fertility centre for your pregnancy", I was shocked (it's not public knowledge), and said no. She said oh, it's because one of my friends is considering going it alone and doesn't know where to start. My boss is the only one who knows our situation.

DH was trying to be diplomatic and said maybe I'm being paranoid, but I pointed out what do single women who want to get pg use 

I'm not ashamed, just don't want it to be public knowledge at this point, particularly when our parents don't know and I would want the baby to know first rather than everyone else knowing iykwim.


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## carrie lou

NM that is tricky. Personally I would be inclined to go for your first choice, but only if you think she will be as happy there - which she probably will, children are as you say very adaptable. If other children from her nursery are going there it will help her settle in. I think it's a good idea to try and organise some settling in sessions at your first choice school, then you can compare the two and see which she would prefer. Good luck, I'm not looking forward to having to cross this particular bridge with Zac!   


Fizzy that is bizarre, I would certainly be shocked if someone asked me that. It is such a personal and sensitive issue and of course you don't want everyone to know all the details. Are you worried your boss has blabbed? If so I would be very cross but it might just be a coincidence. Perhaps you could have a quiet word with your boss and get some reassurance?


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## juju81

Fizzy thats bizarre,  do you think your boss might have said something?

Can I just ask, tell me to **** off if you want but how come your parents dont know?


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i found out people knew about me after the event


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## Fizzypop

I think she told one of the other managers who blabbed   . I just hate the fact that people talk about me behind my back - at least day it to my face!!

Ju - we just never got round to it! Dh mum and dad don't live round here so we dont see them much and we got the diagnosis 2 months after my dad died so wasn't right time to tell my mum, plus we had our own emotions to deal with. In the end I told dh I wanted to wait till we have had our kids, then tell those that need to know.


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## juju81

Fizzy, that's so out of order that she should talk. Espe ially in her capacity!

Fair enough about ur parents. Did u noticed they changed my word for wee! U can guess what I put


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## margesimpson

Fizzy - That's really shocking! Completely unprofessional and disrespectful!    It made me feel sick to read it! I'm sure she has breached some ethics or confidentiality agreement. Imagine if someone blabbed about a different health issue. Seriously out of order!    I don't know how angry you are about it and don't want to make you feel worse, but you could speak to her yourself and at least threaten to take further action unless further gossip is stopped dead in in tracks? Or would that just add fuel to the flame? Personally, I don't think it would be going too far to have a word with HR about this - or am I completely wrong?


Anyway - we're all completely on your side and angry on your behalf!   


Mx


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## margesimpson

Grrrrrrr - still seething about it!


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## Fizzypop

Marge - irony is....I am HR!!!! 

Spoke to DH about it and we are just gonna leave it. On the off chance that I have misinterpreted it, we don't want to stir things up about. He said he doesn't care who knows, he doesn't have a problem with it. Am just going to use this as a lesson learned and keep things to myself!!! 

Anyway, on the flip side, if I am right, now you can imagine my colleague thinking about us with a turkey baster and god knows where she thinks I got the ds from. Hahahha


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

On another note, I know it is horrible having things talked about if you want it private, but that might not necessarily have been what happened. The person might genuinely be seeing if there is someone in their situation and looking for help. Some people might just ask you on the off chance if they desperately need help or advice themselves (they might even say it is a friend if they are the ones actually and too embarrassed to say)  Perhaps she really doesn't know where to turn to. It might just be toes testing the water to see if they can find someone to help.

I have had quite a few people come to me at work and ask about where to start or about treatment/clinics/law/investigations etc. I make no secret of any aspect of my treatment, as I feel that being open is better for me as you get fewer stupid comments. Also it is my aim to make discussing fertility and infertility no longer a tabboo subject and one that people should be able to openly discuss and get the help and support they need.  There is so much secrecy, that people with infertility are made to feel like they are the only ones suffering and no one understands. 

She might not have been asking about donor sperm either - she may have just been asking about clinics or treatment in general. You can say you had fertility treatment, but no one has to know who's gametes were involved if that is very much a private matter.


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## carrie lou

Cupcake, nice to see you here. How are things going?


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## ceci.bee

yay cupcake really lovely to see you posting here welcome!!

Hazel congrats on the birth of Charlie, lovely name, but for some reason could not see the pic you said you posted - am I being   or is it silly african internet connection........

Fizzy   to your manager that is totally out of order!

Marge not sure if I had said congrats on your BFP but its fab well done   

Carrie how is Zach and how is the feeding going sweetie?? HOpe you are getting some sleep now.....

HI to everyone else hope you are all ok   

AFM joshi is just a dream baby ( I don't think I have anything to do with it!) and has started sleeping through spontaneously at 3 months and has taken the move to Malawi totally in his stride and now has everyone here in love with him - he is at the cooing and grinning at everything stage which is just wonderful   

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## carrie lou

Hiya Ceci, good to hear from you! Zac is lovely apart from the odd bit of colic   , he smiles a lot and makes gorgeous little cooing baby talk noises which I love! Feeding is still going really well thanks, Zac is still feeding every 2 hours during the day (4 hours ish at night) but HV said this can be normal at his age. Hard work though! Sleep is improving since I started a proper bedtime routine a few weeks ago. He goes to bed around 8-8.30, wakes up twice in the night, and sleeps until 7am. The problem is he hardly sleeps in the day, just 10 minute catnaps here and there which I don't think is enough for a baby of his age! And sometimes he gets really grumpy and I think it's because he's over-tired but he just won't switch off and sleep  He's so alert and interested in what's going on around him. However, DH is finally back to work tomorrow after a loooong spell of sick leave, so once I'm left to my own devices during the day I'm going to try to introduce a lunchtime nap routine too. Fingers crossed...


Joshi sounds lovely and you are so lucky he's sleeping through already! I love hearing about him because Zac is just a few weeks behind him...


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

carrie he will evntually fall into a sleep patten during the day. I used to watch what time he generally napped during the day and started putting him into his cot in the day for naps. we soon got into a pattern. 

9am-10am (i used to wake him after an hr)

12- whenever he woke

4-5pm (wake after 5pm)

Ceci - wow 3 months!    where has the time gone! 

Cupcake congrats hun!   

Hazel - i didn;t see the photo either!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

If you can't see it on ''show posts'' under my profile - I think it is now on page 3 of my posts here is a link to the original message - it is on page 34 of that board 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=263206.396

Ceci - good to hear from you. Hope it was OK travelling.

Carrie - glad DH has recovered from his accident and is back to work.  Hope being alone in the day is OK for you. You can do your own thing more, but it is very hard work having no one to even hold the baby for a bit while you do something like go to the loo! Mine wants cuddling all the time. I've got Dad here at the moment, which is great in one way as he loves cuddling Charley, but a bit difficult in other ways because I have to stay awake and in the room to supervise when he is cuddling him as he falls asleep too, and I don't feel I can just breast feed or express in front of him, so it inhibits me slightly.


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Mini, the trouble is he doesn't really have any pattern during the day, just gets more and more tired  But he does often nod off at the end of a feed, just for a few minutes then he's wide awake again. So my plan today is to give him his lunchtime feed in the bedroom with curtains closed like I do at bedtime, then when he's finished I can pop him in his crib and hopefully he'll have a nice long nap...


Hazel I felt the same when MIL was staying here while DH was in hospital. She could at least hold Zac for 5 minutes while I did something else but it's stressful accommodating another person  with a baby in the house. I don't think she "approves" of my BFing (she kept dropping hints) so I didn't really feel comfortable feeding in front of her either. It's lovely that your dad is getting on well with Charley though.


----------



## ceci.bee

Thanks hazel charley is gorgeous!!!
For both you and Carrie don't worry about the weight and BF yet - you need 500 extra calories to make enough milk for your baby per day, so cake is ok and you won't go up. I am now at the 3 month mark and the weight is really starting to come off now, esp as I am making loads of milk and Joshi is growing like a bean, so my milk must have fertiliser in it  I think..........
I know what you mean about having relatives around - we lived with my parents and then my inlaws for 12 weeks before moving back here to Malawi and it was lovely having the help especially at the start, but also hard when you need the privacy for expressing etc, but it will do your baby so much good to have other people around. Hazel how is DH bonding with Charley?? I hope he is loving it and you can put some of hiis issues behind you both  
AFM all fine here in Malawi - have posted some pics on our blog of our place and Joshi who has grown so much you can see them at www.gavemandjoshi.blogspot.com
lots of love
Ceci 

/links


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hazel Lovely pic   

Ceci - what a lovely life Josh is going to have!


----------



## speeder

Hazel - what a gorgeous baby Charley is   

Carrie - I think they take a while to settle into any kind of daytime routine.  Have you tried popping him in his pram for a walk when he really needs a nap?  That often does the trick.  My DD also loved the Babybjorn carrier too after a feed - I could get in with things in the house, whilst still cuddling her and she always dropped off....    It definitely takes time though - I think babies are set to "fight" sleep from the moment they arrive!

Hello Cupcake    How are you feeling?  

Fizzy - I have to say i would be furious if my boss had blabbed too.  I think it's appalling to be honest.  I have been a boss and wouldn't have dreamt of passing on such confidential information.  And if they are in HR too, it seems even worse.    She shouldn't have told the other manager either - that in itself is out of order.  To be honest, I suspect you don't want to take it further but if you did isn't that kind of breach of confidentialy a disciplinary matter?

NM- did you make a decision about the school?  Sorry I didn't post!  Sounds you like had great advice.  You are very lucky I guess to have two such great sounding schools to choose from - your DD sounds like she'll be happy to matter what?

AFM - well I'm fine.  Has anyone else had any pelvic pain in pregnancy?  Had none first time round but I was way fitter then, still not post pilates/birth stretched like I am now!  But I've had some lower back pain and now, bizarrely, some very odd pain between my legs - like it's bruised?!!  Sore when I walk but then eases off, fine when I lie down. Midwife says it's just as everything is a bit laxer now (gee thanks!) but I don't really like it much hurrumph. Feeling a bit more movement now - this anterior placenta lark makes things so so different with this pregnancy.  At 19 weeks with DD I had a little gymnast in there - whereas this time I just get the odd little thump. Mmmmmm.

Hope everyone had a lovely week speeder x


----------



## carrie lou

Ceci - love the blog, especially the photo of Joshi in his chair looking out at the garden, so cute! Your house looks fantastic too.  

Speeder - I had similar pelvic pain to what you describe, but only much later in pregnancy, from about 36 weeks onwards. I put it down to the baby's head starting to engage. Could it be something like SPD?  Not sure if that can present at your stage? I also had lots of back pain from about 20 weeks onwards. Re the movements, if my experience is anything to go by, it sounds pretty normal for anterior placenta. I only started feeling strong consistent movements after the 20 week point.

Well I managed to get Zac to sleep for a whole hour this afternoon! I had to stay with him and rock him most of the time but we can work on that - the important thing is he actually slept! And he seems so much better for it, he's all smiles now and no (or very little!) crying! We're going to BFing group tomorrow morning and I'm planning to walk there with the pram (if not raining too heavily  ) so we will see if that helps him drop off - though half the time he is too interested in looking at the world going by! Last week he was awake all the way there and back and slept while we were there so didn't get to meet any of the other babies


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Joshi is gorgeous too - we do have some gorgeous babies on this thread!


----------



## juju81

Just a quick post....Speeder, i suffered terribly with spd, and im afraid to say it gets worse.  Get on your local hospitals list for physio, they give you ideas about how to help yourself but basically dont do anything that involves spreading your legs and if you do do things ie, getting in the car, keep your legs together.  I was even told to stop doing washing because the bending down to get stuff in didnt help.  Unfortunately I still suffer quite bad every now and then.  It apparently gets worse with each preg, another reason no more for me!!!

Ceci, nice to hear from you, will look at the blog later!

Carrie, dont worry too much at the moment about a routine, its still quite early but you could start getting him into the habit of sleeping in bed.  Noah was a day time cat napper and it took him months to get something I would call a routine together.  Depends what kind of person you are, if your happy to go with the flow then just follow his lead, if not read Gina Ford!


----------



## margesimpson

Ceci - love the blog and what a darling little boy! I see the nets - are the mosquitos a constant worry?


Carrie - Well done - it makes such a difference to you both! pushing him in the pram is great, but you could try covering it with a swaddling cloth or something to help him get to sleep. It made me laugh, 'cos it's just like you do with a bird, but it seems to work! 


Juju - have you looked at Gina Ford's toddler book? I've been thinking about getting it as DS sort of fell into the baby routine.


Cupcake - welcome sweetie - hope you're enjoying your pregnancy a little more. I remember feeling like it was a massive psychological leap starting to post here, so huge welcome!


Fizzy - I hope everything has settled down and it hasn't made you too suspicious of telling if that's what you were planning on doing later on.


AFM - we told our parents yesterday and although they were totally shocked, it was lovely to have an afternoon enjoying our news. I know it's sooo early to be telling anyone other than you guys, especially with the scan not until 8th Aug, but I want to make the most of this time as long as I can!     


Mx


----------



## juju81

Marge, ahh I remember phoning my parents at 6am the day I got my BFP    I cried   

No, I dont read Gina Ford     I'm more a go with the flow kinda person, dont get me wrong, he does have sleeps/routine but i'm not rigid.  I'm happy for him to sleep out and about, my days off I tend to stay in whilst he has a morning sleep but thats usually just so I can sit on my bum and catch up with Sky+.  If i've got plans then he will sleep on the go, just means there not as long as if we were at home!

He's just lovely at the mo.  He's a monkey but he's doing so much and he makes us laugh every day (inbetween the telling off and pulling my hair out)  Am looking into xmas pressies already.  Have seen a lovely wooden kitchen from Hamleys !


----------



## carrie lou

I'm not a Gina Ford person either  I had a brief look at her book but felt it just wasn't for me. I don't want a rigid set-in-stone routine, just for Zac to have a decent sleep in the middle of the day so we can both be in a better mood in the afternoons! He doesn't seem able to switch off himself so he obviously needs a bit of help from me. It seems to be working what I did today, so I will continue.   


When I got my BFP, after telling DH, I immediately texted my mum, just with the words "you're going to be a granny!" She rang me back straight away


----------



## nvb

Hi girls....I got my BFP last week after my 2nd cycle with DE. We used DS this time as well due to a MMC on my last DE cycle being attributed to my DP's TESE sperm quality. 
I am really nervous due to previous experience and still can't quite get my head round things.
I also have NO symptoms which is driving me slowly insane. Last time I was riddled with them before I even tested positive. This time nowt! Nada! Zilch! I'm trying not to worry that it's not developing    
Can anyone calm my fears?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hi NVB   

Congrats hun. I had no symptoms either! At my 6 week scan i suddenly started feeling sick!   

Carrie - I used GF for the feed times and then the sleep times, but he was doing the sleep times anyway without me trying!


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

GF made me feel really nervous and inadequate in the first week in hospital when I was trying to read it and make sense of it.

Perhaps I should try and look at it again now things are calmer?


----------



## Fizzypop

I think GF is far too restrictive. You've got to go by what is right for you and your lifestyle...I like the principle of what she was saying in the first part of the book (stocking up on cupboard items, how to establish milk supply, feeding more often during the day to get longer at night between feeds) but turned off as soon as I read on the timetable bit - 10am, have a glass of water! Have other things to fit in to my day, like walking the dog!

AFM - might have a stress fracture in my foot but they won't do anything atm cos they don't like xray'ing pg women. Think I am downplaying the pain a bit cos am comparing it to childbirth lol!


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## carrie lou

Know what you mean about GF, I don't think one size fits all when it comes to being a mum, you have to work things around your own family etc. I started reading her book when Zac was about 2 weeks old and just felt like I was doing all the wrong things according to her  felt completely inadequate so stopped reading.

NVB - congratulations! I didn't have any real symptoms until about 6 weeks, when the sickness started and didn't stop until the day he was born  

Fizzy - sorry about your foot, hope it heals soon.


----------



## ceci.bee

YAY NVB am soooooooooooo pleased for you and seeing you here!!!!!! cant do major smilies due to crap internet access but am dancing banans around for you!!! it is so hard but try to put your previous experiences behind you and feel positive about this pg - and seeing the early scan should reassure you a bit - my DH nearly vomited in the bin at our 6 week scan with Joshi and now we are proud and doting parents.......I so hope this pg works out for you

I didn't even read GF as the concept of being told when to put on the dishwasher annoyed me, and also she doens't have any kids....but Joshi loves a basic routine and has fallen into it himself - I don't seem to do much, he just gets on with it! Ultimately you and your baby will work out what is best for you both and you will just get on with things - books help with support and knowedlge but only you two know what is right for you........

lots of love to all 
CEci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

If u just read the important bits and leave out the waffle about dishwashers and water then her routine for feeding and sleeps are quite good. The sleep times really made sense as it fitted in with the feeds do they sleep longer cos they are full. Also fitting in 5 feeds and 3 naps between  7-7pm made sense. She explains sleep for babies and etc which made me understand how he sleeps and when. 

He was in a routine from a week old!


----------



## LV.

Hi ladies, mind if I join you? My signature says it all I think. Finally got our BFP using DIUI, but had a failed DE cycle under our belt by then. I notice that there are a lot of you that are pg and have had your babies using DS and hoping for some reassurance. I'm still carrying around sadness about using DS, although was completely at ease with DE (had had a long time being told my eggs were fried and was totally in the right head space for DE) Our DS cycle was really quickly decided upon and to be honest I had almost zero hope of it working and was more of a time filler so I felt like we were doing *something* whilst on a forced wait gearing up for our next DE cycle. Of course I'm completely thrilled to be pregnant and still can't quite believe it, in some ways I actually wish it was DE and not DS, does that make any sense to anybody?! I think I'm still grieving for my hubby's loss of genetics. I love him so much, he's such an amazing man and I'm really sad that I'm not carrying a part of him. I even felt like I'd been unfaithful after I'd had the IUI! I'm sure it's going to fade (it is already) as it did for DE, but it's quite alarming none the less considering I'm 22w already. Hubby is completely cool and happy with our situation and thinks I'm a bit nuts and is positive that once baby gets here it'll be a distant memory, I'm guessing he's on the money with that one.


I was wondering how you ladies felt about DS initially and if this sounded familiar to anyone?


Have been lurking for a bit but still have some homework getting to know you all so I'll attempt personals at some point soon
Thanks
LV xx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

congrsts hun   

Yesi totally understand where you are coming from. I was at ease with DE but not DS, think its cos with DE you carry it and its both of yours, but DS there is that missing genetic piece of the puzzle. But once the baby is here and you see its beauful face  and you and DH are finally a family, all your worries will fade away. You will be too knackered to even think anyway!


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## juju81

To be honest I never read GF as she got my back up before I even fell preg but I did find The Baby Whisperer excellant.  After I read this I did find things alot easier with Noah (he wasnt the easiest of babies in hindsight) as I kind of 'understood' him abit more.

Some babies need a bit of coaxing some just will naturally fall into some routine and it definately depends on how chilled out you are.  I wasnt chilled out at all to start with, i was suffering from shock for a while, my midwife wouldnt sign me over to the HV but after a month or so I ended up just going with the flow.  Noah cat napped all day but realised that after an hr of him being awake he needed sleep again, oh and realising at 3 weeks he prefereed to sleep on his tummy was a major turning point too    

Seems like a lifetime ago now


----------



## carrie lou

Cupcake great news hun  HCG levels are supposed to double every 48 hours from what I remember. If they aren't repeating them I would take that as a reassuring sign  


Lady verte congratulations  To be honest I was pretty much Ok with using donor sperm from the outset. When we found out DH had azoospermia it just seemed like the logical next step. What mattered to me was that I would grow the baby inside me and carry it and bond with it from the very beginning. Whose genes it had was not that important to me. Having said that, I do understand where you are coming from - you have to grieve for the genetic child that you can't have. But once your baby arrives none of this will matter so much anymore. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well


----------



## ceci.bee

Yay ladyverte and welcome - lovely to see you here and congrats on your BFP and 22w!!! great gestation
I had loads of issues about using DS and felt the same about my DH not passing on all his lovely qualities. But as I am typing this DH is reading Joshi a book and they are both loving it, and Joshi may not have DH's nose but is picking up all his lovely qualities and learning from them - it does get easier I promise and when you look at your baby and DH with your baby all you will feel is gratitude towards your donor I promi  se!!! 

love to all
C


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i read BW but she was a bit vague, i think i need concrete things to follow!


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## juju81

Mini ur just weird    JOKING


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## speeder

Hi ladyverte - congratulations! I think any number of feelings about the donor issue are normal. Being honest, I was always fine with it - in fact I was so grateful we had that option as dh has absolutely zero sperm. But you have come round to this the other way so you are bound to have all sorts of mixed emotions. But like the others have said I guarantee you will fall head over heels in love with your perfect unique baby and you stop thinking about genetics. X

Afm, had the anomaly scan today and all well. Beautiful little wriggler and we are sticking with not knowing the sex as the surprise will help me with labour. I love this little baby already, I so hope all will be well. 

Nite x


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## carrie lou

Great news Speeder


----------



## amandaloo

Hi ladies

Speeder- thats great news glad scan went well

Ladyverte- congrats on your bfp think the otters have summed up what I would say so won't add to it . Hope your ok  

Re the chat about books I haven't read any of the ones yOu have mentioned . Think it would stress me out if I read them and I wasn't doing what they said !!! 

Hello to everyone sorry I haven't posted much . Noah is doing well just started giving him infacol before feeds as he did nothing but cry after feeds no matter what I tried . It's worked so far so good he's not as unsettled now which really helped last night . Cant believe I'm finally a mummy it's wonderful and we feel so blessed and extremely lucky


----------



## carrie lou

Amanda we are giving Zac infacol too! Sometimes in the late afternoons / evenings he won't latch on to feed, just wriggles and screams, it was breaking my heart as he really seemed to be in pain  and nothing I could do would settle him.  But since starting the infacol it is a lot better. It's good stuff  Glad you are getting on well


----------



## pinkcat

Hi ladyverte!    

Great news speeder


----------



## amandaloo

Carrie - Zac sounds similar to Noah . It def is good stuff he screamed for ages after his feed sometimes I hadn't settled him and his next feed was due  . I'm still breastfeeding too but to be honest majority of the time I express and give it him in a bottle . It hasn't effected him latching on what so ever use the tommee tippee bottles. I found it too hard constantly breastfeeding so this way it's better for me and still good for him too. It's nice to breastfeed properly every now and again though  . Hope you are well. I am still really tired wondering when I'll ever feel different !


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## ceci.bee

speeder hun great news about your scan that is brillo - we didn't find out the sex either and loved the suprise   

amanda - a mate of DH's described the first six weeks with a new baby as a tunnel of no sleeping, endless feeding and worrying about breathing/crying/rash/nappies/everything! but actually it doesn't last too long I promise and after six weeks or so things do start to get a bit easier and it all fades into a mushy memory   

hello all sorry for short post but am typing this by my wind up lantern as the power is out again and we had to cancel my birthday weekend away due to riots and lack of fuel in Malawi so am feeling a bit sorry for myself but this is living in africa - everyone enjoy your hot showers, reliable power and the ability to fill up your car when you want!!!
am off to bath joshi in his bucket with the hot water from the kettle earlier.....
lots of love
CEci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## carrie lou

Oh my goodness Ceci! Still, all part of the African experience I suppose! Just goes to show how much we take for granted in the UK. What a shame about your birthday weekend.  

Cupcake - I know it's scary but try not to worry hun. I had full on bleeding at about your stage of pregnancy, clinic said it was probably nothing and just to wait for my scan at 6.5 weeks. And sure enough everything was fine, little heartbeat going nicely! Also your HCG was very reassuring. Bet you can't wait for your scan.  

Amanda  - I have only expressed a few times, but Zac is very reluctant to drink from a bottle - he certainly won't take it from me! Think he's just too fond of mummy's (.)(.)   DH has a little more success. It's quite useful in situations when I can't be available to feed him, like last weekend I went to get my hair done and Z got hungry so DH could give him the bottle while they were waiting for me. It's good that Noah will still latch on well. Don't worry, things do get better! Zac is 8 weeks now and I am finally beginning to see a bit of a routine emerging (partly driven by him, partly by me!) though he still wants to feed an awful lot. I've noticed though that at some of his feeds he's not really eating, just sucking for comfort. So I am going to see if I can maybe cut out one feed per day. His weight gain has been good so I don't think it will be a problem. 


AFM - have a terrible cold at the moment  I took my temperature this afternoon because I was feeling all feverish and horrible - 37.9  so no wonder I felt yucky. Feeling a bit better now but hoping I don't pass it on to Zac - he is far too young for such a nasty bug.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Cupcake - I had some spots of blood at 8 weeks. I went to A&E          they must of thought i was completly mad! anyway she checked my cervix and it was closed. (obviosuly!!) then i had no more. i found out your body tries to have an AF but then realies it can't    i kept taking the tissue paper down to DH for him to see the spots/Dots    

then at 14 weeks i had blood when i wiped./proper blood. well you can imagine what i was like, plus it was new yrs eve. i went to A&E again and at the stroke of midnight I was having an internal    anyway nothing to be found, the next day i felt really sore down below and in the end had to get DH to have a look    he said there was a skin tag that was red raw    i didn't even know i had a skin tag there! So this was the bleeding    what annoyed me was that the doc hadn't seen it    I found out that skin tags were a pg side effecct    that no one tells you about


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## Fizzypop

Ceci - your life in Africa sounds lovely and your house looks lovely. I would not be good at living without my modcons tho! 

Cupcake - I had early bleeding too, pretty much on and off between 5-8 weeks, then a big bright red bleed at 8 weeks like you I analysed each time went to try loo and like mini DH often got presented with bits of tissue (and most of the time he told me to stop being stupid!)

Speeder - good news on the scan, are you going to get a ticker?

Mini - I've got a skintag on my (.)(.)!!! Hope it goes away afterwards!!!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

mine is still there but has shrunk a bit. My friend had them all over. Yes DH did tell me to stop being silly


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## carrie lou

Yes you will feel better Cupcake when you see that little heartbeat  and better still when you get to your 12 week scan and realize it's all really happening! I'll be honest though, the worry never goes away completely. There always seems to be something to stress about  Even now when I put Zac down to sleep I find myself checking on him every 5 minutes just to make sure he's still breathing etc  Just can't switch off!!!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Nope the worry never stops. After my history I guess it is understandable. I could not relax very often in my pregnancy after losing one in the second trimester. I spent most of the pregnancy looking for movements and if I did not have one for a while getting really nervous. I drank my way through a freezer full of ice cubes trying to wake Charley up when he was in the womb so he would move - poor little lamb! You jump one hurdle, have 5 mins of elation and joy, then the worry starts up again!

I now have the situation of worrying when Charley is crying and worrying when he is quiet.     
I put him on a cushion to sleep after a feed this am and did the hoovering. He was asleep with the white noise of the hoover and then I checked on him and he looked pale and still. So silly me rubbed his chest and got a startle reflex from him and then he was awake again! Why can't I let sleeping babies lie hey?

I am also more worried now after our blip in SCBU at the beginning. Even though he is gaining weight on my combination feeding regime (10oz last week) I can't help but worry about him - if brain damage was done with the dehydration and jaundice? The extra stress is not needed. We had to take him for an ultrasound scan of his brain on Thursday and thankfully there is no evidence of a bleed.  
He seems fine, he seems quite advanced for his age - already trying to reach things and starting to make a little noise and trying to smile. He clearly looks at things now and is listening/hearing, but the potential damage from the jaundice will not necessarily be apparent for years. I just hope it was caught in time

Ladyverte - Congratualtions and welcome!

Cupcake - all will be well - I really hope your scan is great and you get the much needed reassurance, your HCG was very reassuring.

Ceci - I can't imagine looking after a baby without hot running water, light and a kettle. I guess you have to be very adaptable.

Carrie - you will pass antibodies for the cold to Zac in your milk.


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## nvb

Cupcake....with my last DE BFP I had a bit of bleeding at exactly 5 weeks. It was just a dot on my sanitary towel and when I wiped but nothing else. I rang the clinic and they said that it was probably implantation bleeding. 

Ceci...I travel to Mombassa and India with work and the power cuts etc..are frequent there so I can't imagine how you cope having a newborn and dealing with things as well. 

AFM...totally lost my only symptom of tender, swollen (.)(.) They have deflated and are no longer sore. I have also had diarrhea (sp) Both these things tie in with my last MMC so I am not feeling too optimistic. I tried to discuss it with DP saying not to get too expectant about the scan next week but he just shouted at me    Everywhere I read, it says that strong symptoms tie in with good strong HcG levels. I am fearing the worst


----------



## pinkcat

nvb-    I expect your dp is feeling the strain too, I can only imagine how hard it is for you after what you have been through, I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you that the scan goes well next week   

Also for  cupcake and marge for your early scans


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## ceci.bee

nvb hun          with joshi I had strong HCG and NO symptoms until about 6-7 weeks when the nausea kicked in, not even very sore boobs - every pg is different so please don't read too much in to your symptoms and have everything crossed and    that your scan is good - when is it?? am sure DP is also so so worried and stressed out, it will pass soon I hope and you can start to think about trying to enjoy your pg!

Cupcake and marge       even th slightest discharge is worrying I know, but also hope the wait for your scans not too long and you get reassurance
Cupcake can you go for a pg massage or something to help you relax? I also found acu helpful in early pg, as it was time out of my day when I had to lie down in a quiet place, and found it v relaxing and got my blood pressure down nicely   

power on tonight and am about to cook while DH gives JOshi his bottle of expressed milk - he has never worried where his food comes from as long as it gets into his gob - he has gone from the 2nd centile at birth to the 75th and wil glug endlessly if I let him!

lots of love
Ceci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nvb I had no symptoms til 6 weeks either


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hazel try not to worry, babies are made if strong stuff. Like u say he's doing advanced things   Ds didn't grab at things at his stage.


----------



## carrie lou

Hazel great news on the ultrasound. I know it's hard not to worry but just try to enjoy every day with Charley, after all you have waited so very long for this.  My mum said the same thing about the antibodies in my milk (she's a microbiologist  ) so hopefully Zac will be fine. He has been a bit snotty this afternoon but I took his temp and it's normal.  Zac also started smiling very young, no one would believe me though because he only did it for me at first! But now he smiles at everyone.  


NVB I didn't have proper pregnancy symptoms until 6 weeks, and even when they did start they could come and go. So try not to analyse it too much, I know it's difficult though! I think men don't understand what it's like to be pregnant and pondering every little twinge, hopefully he didn't mean to shout at you.     for your scan    


   to all


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

carrie - DS smiled at a week old    i thought it was wind but the HV said they smile from birth. 

Re: colds. don;t worry if he gets one, they have to eventually. DS got constant colds but didn't get a temp until he was about 10 mths old. Just give him calpol incase hes achey. I always see colds as a way to increase their immunity.


----------



## juju81

Hazel,   hun, u can spend ur whole life worrying about your baby. Charley is fine, good news with scan. Noah gad severe jaundice, was under Billiblanket for 48hrs and looked like David Dickinson and I can tell you there is certainly nothing wrong with his development. Sometimes I think too much knowledge is worse than no knowledge iykwim    

Cupcake, are u having a babybond scan?? I had my gender scan at 16wks through babybond! Where are u going for it?

Been to London zoo with Noah. He loved the giraffes, its lovely to go to these places now with him at the age he is


----------



## speeder

Nvb - my boobs are sore off and on in pregnancy - I have always convinced myself it's all over due to disappearing symptoms, only for them to come back again a few days later. The theory is that your body gets used to the increasing levels of hcg.  I know how hard it is but try not to panic. X 

Cupcake - a little bleeding is so common and now it's stopped that's so reassuring. Could even have come from your cervix. If you are really worried if you explain to the epu that you needed fertility treatment and are so worried you cant sleep they should scan you. Honey, from one worrier to another - it never goes, it just gets worse! Once they are born you are happy for - ooh- 5 minutes- then it starts again. Mum tells me she is only ever as happy as her unhappiest child! The only thing that helps me is yoga, meditation or relaxation CDs etc - you have to keep your stress levels down x

Hazel - charley sounds such a smart little baby. Dd's paediatrician told me the most reassuring sign for them is normal development so that is the best sign you need that all is well? 

Carrie - ds will receive antibodies for this cold through your milk so he won't get it as badly. X

Ceci - crivens - Malawi sounds amazing and totally chaotic! Are you staying there long term?

Happy Saturday nite all - it's been a lovely day here x


----------



## nvb

Cupcake....my scan is on Friday. I will be 5+6 so it's quite early for a scan. If there is no heartbeat I will ask them to do bloods as I've hear sometimes you can't see anything at that point anyway. Last cycle, my scan was at 6+3 and there was a heartbeat. 
I read too that sometimes diarrhea is instead of MS and as I'm not a really sicky person anyway, I'm    that this is the case for me. Are you on pessaries? Apparently too much progesterone can upset your stomach as well so this might be a side effect as our bodies will be making progesterone as well. 
Good luck for your scan. How far will you be? xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i came off the progesterone at 4 weeks. Your body produces it naturally at that stage. It will only prolong a no viable pg otherwise. 
I had a scan at 6+1 and got a heartbeat. 

Hang in there Cupcake


----------



## juju81

Cupcake, yeah there is one in chi I think. I had mine booked there but then decided to bring it forward so went to crawley! Ha ha

Ur HCG was superb, doesn't help I know but try and relax. Ur not cramping are u? Pregnancy does allsorts to your insides, ur bowels will change continuously throughout it!

You sound just like me tho, I found the first 12wks hell, stay strong


----------



## carrie lou

Hang in there Cupcake, I'm sure it will all be fine and it's not long till your scan now.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hun that's exactly what I had! Pin head blood!   and dhs reaction was the same too!! The pains u are having are really good   everything is stretching nicely! You'll soon be putting on a few stone in weight!!


----------



## speeder

Cupcake - big hug I know it's stressful to see any blood x I have bled every pregnancy and when I had the m/c it was not spots of bright red blood. Have you had sex - no need to answer that!! - but that can also cause cervical erosion. How many weeks will you be at the scan? You don't want to go too early as you can't see much! And yes for me symptoms definitely came and went - really sore bbs for s few days and then nothing! Not sure about the diarrohea - prob unconnected to preg? Xx

Lovely day in Scotland today - it's been a rubbish summer so lovely to have a nice weekend for once and watch dd help daddy in the garden. So sweet xx


----------



## margesimpson

Hi all,


Cupcake/nvb - it's true - the wait for the scan is almost worse than the wait for OTD!


Cupcake - have you seen this table re: HCG levels? 5000 is brilliant, so sure the clinic felt there was no reason to re-test. If results are lower, they like to test because its the increase which shows it's a healthy pregnancy. But if you're already at 5000, that's already a great sign!   


NVB - that's brilliant you can get a scan on Friday. We have to wait until Aug 8th!    I'm just trying not to think about things too much and take some reassurance from the exhaustion I'm feeling. I've no other symptoms at all. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to avoid the crippling MS of last time, but it's hard not to worry that I'm not being sick yet!   


Hazel - of course you're going to worry - you're a mummy!   I don't want to minimise your worry in any way, but you probably know a bit about neuro development too and so keep reminding yourself that even if there was any damage (and it IS unlikely) that the brain is so plastic at this early age, that it would be highly unlikely to ever impact on Charlie's development in any way. 


Speeder - your mum's wise words will stick with me now - only ever as happy as your unhappiest child!   


Thanks all for the well wishes for the scan. Poor DH and DS have been poorly (D&V) and I want to sleep all day, so the last few days have been going pretty fast. Especially when I still spend half my time knicker checking!   


Mx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Thanks guys for the reassurance - of course you are all right - but you can't help but read stuff and go over it in your head again and again! It is only natural and I think as Charley does more it will get better.


----------



## wolla

Hope you don't mind me butting in here (not posted on this thread for about 4 years after DS1 was born)

Just had to say a HUGE congratulation to Cupcake - I've not been keeping up with the IUI thread, and missed your BFP.  I'm over the moon for you hun x x x  As for the diarrhoea - I'm coming up 18 weeks and i've had it since just before BFP - it's only just easing up now.  I've seen it as a welcome alternative to morning sickness - although now the diarrhoea is easing, the MS is starting now!!  Also - with DS I had spotting at 6 weeks and 10 weeks, and I had some at 10 weeks with this PG too, so please try not to worry (easier said than done I know).  Wishing you all the best with the rest of your PG x x x x x 

Hi to everyone else - I do read this thread from time to time but as I say, haven't posted in a long long time.

Wolla
x


----------



## amandaloo

Cupcake that's great news so happy all is well x


----------



## carrie lou

Cupcake that's lovely honey, so glad everything was OK.    Do you feel better now?


----------



## speeder

Yay cupcake, that's great! Delighted all is well and hopefully you can relax a little bit now xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Fab news Cupcake.    It is magical!

Soon you will be doing the same as me - baby on one knee with bottle in left hand, lap top on other knee typing with right hand and watching tv (watching panorama about maternity services - eeek!). Multi tasking! Wonderful!


----------



## ceci.bee

yay cupcake fabbbbbb news so pleased for you that is a really magic moment


----------



## juju81

Whoo hoo cupcake, that's fabby news! It's amazing isn't it! I saw a huge difference even between my 6 wk scan and my 8 wk scan! Now get yourself a lovely ticker xxx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Enjoy it Cupcake!


----------



## margesimpson

Cupcake - wonderful news! It'll be great to share it with DH on Thurs too! 


Wolla - congratulations to you too. The MS is kicking in now? Did you suffer through most of your last pregnancy?


Hi to everyone else,


Mx


----------



## Fizzypop

Cupcake - fab news Hun, shame DH couldnt be there but am sure he is just happier now he has a happier DW!

Its my last week of work this week. Eek!

Hazel - what area did they base the panarama programme on?


----------



## juju81

Fizzy, it was a various units around the uk!

Cupcake, bless you, you should enjoy it tho, it goes so quickly and before u know it there 16month old pickles!!!!


----------



## speeder

Crivens, glad I didn't see the programme.  Panorama generally doesn't cheer me up! I have an appointment with the consultant in a few weeks to discuss my birth this time as last time was a bit of a disaster (well actually DD arrived safe and well so it was perfect but I was in some state, and haemorraged and didn't feel well looked after).  I would rather not have a c-section only because I think they are slightly harder to get over and I've got a toddler but equally I sure as heck don't want another haemorrage either.

Anyway, bit of advice.....and yes, before you read on, I do have a tendency to be a bit nuts!    I'm normally a bit of a minger when  not pregnant - pretty untidy etc - but usually up my game when pregnant and clean stuff etc and what for out of date foods etc.  But old habits die hard and this morning when cutting cheese for DD's lunch - I store it all in a big tupperware container - I noticed that at the bottom there was some super minging old cheese. It wasn't even green mouldy - more all wet and smelly and smelt v off - like off milk. EEK!!!!  Neither DD or I have eaten the off cheese but have eaten the cheese above it - which has always seemed fine.  But I guess some of the yuk stuff could have contaminated it.  I am guessing it will be fine - but I always worry about listeria in pregnancy which I know is RARE but I'd rather not have it.  Do you reckon I'm worrying for nothing?  I've normally got a stomach of steel (I guess because I'm usually so relaxed about best before dates when not pregnant!   ) but I'm really worried I've put unborn baby (or DD for that matter) at risk   

speeder x


----------



## wolla

Cupcake - yay, that's fab news.  Seeing that little heartbeat flickering away is amazing.  xx

MargeSimpson - no, I didn't suffer at all with my last PG - no sickness, nausea - nothing.  In fact I felt fantastic for the majority of it - so this time the nausea and tiredness are hitting me hard.  Still loving every minute of it though.

Hazel - I saw the piece about maternity units on the news, and decided not to watch panorama cos didn't want to scare myself.  However, our local news also reported that for once the North East is ahead of the rest of the country with this, and the report showed that we get pretty good care here, so that's a bonus.

Wolla
x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

It was basically about cost cutting and staffing levels. In England the birth rate has gone up but the midwife levels have dropped and there are huge vacancies and midwives in training being expected to do more. They are supposed to supervise 28 births (not sure in what period) and the average is 33 at the moment, leading to neglect in SOME cases.

I have to say they were busy when I was there, but I was not neglected, although I had a final year student midwife doing my whole c-section attendance rather than a qualified MW. She did miss a few bits out, but she had people to ask and I was relatively low risk. It was her first c-section!

Speeder - I had a 1litre post partum haemhorrage after my planned c-section and was anaemic - there are no guarantees. My uterus did not contract down properly and I had to have an oxytocin drip to stem the bleed and iron tablets. The recovery from the c-section other than that was very easy though. Hardly any pain after a couple of days.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Also - about the cheese - it is a worry. I ate some coleslaw in pregnancy that I later discovered to be out of date and then worse, discovered that I should NEVER have eaten because it is a chopped prepared salad and can have listeria. I worried for weeks as Listeria can take 90 days to appear. You have to try and put it out of your mind, but if super worried or get flu symptoms/ upset stomach with fever see a doctor immediately.


----------



## juju81

I ate coleslaw, mr whippy icecreams and McDonald milkshake whilst preg


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

You would


----------



## speeder

Oh crivens - no coleslaw?!  I eat that all the time!!!  Only the shop bought stuff that I store in my fridge.  I thought shop bought salad stuff was OK (I eat hummus too) and it was just deli counter stuff we should avoid.  Oh man - what else should I avoid  I feel like I've been very careless!!!! 

My haemorrage was honestly the scariest thing in my whole life.  I lost a whole load in the pool from the tear and then, like you, my uterus didn't contract down but it was all very sudden and scary and I needed 4 transfusions as I lost so much. I honestly don't think I can go through that again.  When I m/c last year (very early) I asked to have it in hospital as I was worried about bleeding heavily again and they laughed and said I would be fine for such an early m/c - but I wasn't - it was horrendous for how early I was - and needed fluids to stabilise my blood pressure as it went so low.  They tested my blood for clotting factors and said it was all "normal" but I wonder if it's a genetic weirdness as similar stuff happened to my mum.  I know they are going to say "oh it won't happen again" but I really am beginning to doubt that! 

It's not been a good day to be honest.  I've had weird fluid on my knickers today that is definitely NOT urine.  I think it's just loads of discharge but it's never been this watery before so of course I'm worried it's amniotic fluid.  Called triage who said if there's no more in 2 hours it's probably fine.  I'm 1 hour in and no more has appeared so hopefully that's right.  I'm sure I didn't have this kind of discharge with DD though - anyone else had it??  

worried speeder who isn't very speedy today x


----------



## amandaloo

Speeder- who's crivens I'm confused saying that dosent take much maybe i haven't read back far enough lol ! I ate coleslaw as long as it wasn't made with home made mayo . I ate heinZ mayo and ice cream and think I had a milkshake from mcd's too like juju! Only things I avoided were peanuts and deli meat . Hope your ok and not panicking too much have you had any more discharge ( what a question that is )


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

The coleslaw thing is not about salmonella from the eggs in home made mayo, although that is also a concern, it is the listeria in the chopped vegetables. Even bagged salads should be washed. I have to say I did not rewash ''washed ready to eat'' watercress until the end of pregnancy when I found out I should have.

Having said that, the risk is extremely low from what I understand especially in supermarket, refrigerated, in date pots. We were fine, despite my worry.

I have only seen 2 actual cases of listeriosis in my career over 20 years and one of those was a woman who had been to France and eaten cheese, the other, a man, worked in a blue cheese factory and neither were pregnant, especially not the man


----------



## carrie lou

I ate bagged salads all the time when I was pregnant and never washed them  Very naughty, but Zac appears to be fine!   

I know there are good reasons why we are advised to avoid all these things in pregnancy, but I do wonder how people survived many years ago before these things were known about e.g. drinking unpasteurised milk... But why are you not supposed to have McD milkshakes?  

Speeder hope you are OK hun. It could well be discharge, I had that later on in pregnancy.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

mac D milkshake is absolutely fine


----------



## pinkcat

juju81 said:


> I ate coleslaw, mr whippy icecreams and McDonald milkshake whilst preg


was I not supposed to have mr whippy ice cream when pg?!


----------



## LV.

Hello again ladies,


Firstly thank you soooo much for the welcome and for sharing your experiences, I did shed a tear or two at some of your responses (goddamn pregnancy hormones!) I've been reading but am going through a completely knackered stage and it's enough to get myself to bed most evenings, let alone be able to post anything with coherence. 


I must say, and I know this is not a view shared by everyone, that I do take some of the food warnings with a pinch of salt. I just can't see how France would procreate if the dangers were that bad    I did go to a dinner party with an obstetrician a few weeks back who said the only things to really worry about are liver and cheeses that are soft at room temperature, the rest of the no-no list he considered incredibly cautious and pretty optional. 


Have enjoyed the GF et al chatter, must say she's not for me. I liked the beginning with lists of what to buy but as I ficked through and saw "9.57am: put on the dishwasher" and the like I stopped reading, that's just not the way I operate. I found "The Baby Whisperer" in a charity shop really early on and got a lot from that, she recommends a routine but it seems to be more following a sequence of events (EASY - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You time)  without being so rigid with timings which I think I'll be able to achieve. 


Sorry for pants personals, will get down with the programme soon, promise! This does seem like a lovely chatty thread, glad I found you all
LV xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I did the EASY routine too!    mixed in with old Gina


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

The activity after a feed really worked and we made sure we never put him down when he was alseep after a feed.


----------



## LV.

Can you actually mix in ol' Gina?! It seemed so inflexible! She scared me, not quite sure how to achieve wiggle room (although did stop reading, perhaps I should give her more of a chance)


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

all i did was copy the feed times and the bedtme routine, from a few days old he was going to bed at 7pm     then i followed the sleep times after a about 2 months. But they fitted in with the feed times anyway. Then i just followed the EASY routine, basically eat then change nappy (actitiy) then sleep, then YOU (wash bottles    ) I just took bits out of GF, i never followed her stuff about dishwasher, pull curtain, wipe your bum   But her feed times did make sense, especially the give half bottle at 530pm and the rest at bedtime. Some of it i adapted to suit him as he alweays fell asleep at 6pm which was one of her feed times, so i gave it at 530pm, also he was alwasy a week in front of her plan    
The 10pm feed was really useful too, i stuck to that and swore by it.


----------



## juju81

I read u weren't meant to have the milkshakes and icecreams from the machines as the tubes they come through may hold bacteria   

I didn't listen (story of my life) and Noah is perfect (not his behaviour mind)

I agree with ladyverte and ceci tho! How did our elders cope! There's probably a reason somewhere that states u can't eat anything for one reason or another


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

i ate most things, i had lots of Mr Whippy    i ate strawberrys and bananas every day, and apparently you shouldn't eat too much of them cos of alllerrgys and too much potassium.    I'll eat what i like thank you very much    shell fish is fine if you know where it came from and how it wss cooked and stored.


----------



## Fizzypop

Speeder - have you thought of giving hypnobirthing a go? I had always thought it was a load of mumbo jumbo (my friend tried it at a home birth but once she ended up in hospital it didn't work for her), then I think it was NM on here who recommended it to be so I thought why not! They teach you a lot of the science behind stuff and I'm finding it really useful. 

LV - me too stopped reading gina at the timetable stage bit think I will give it another go. Although mini's advice sounds great - might just copy that down lol!

On the food thing - it is way too easy to get carried away with what you read. Supermarket bought coleslaw is fine (part of my staple diet!), as well as smoked salmon and shellfish just as mini says. All the soft cheeses and cured meats are fine too if you cook them first and have them hot. I ended up going directly to the government website if I wasn't sure as all the baby sites/books will have you eating nothing but bland stuff for the entire pregnancy!!!!


----------



## amandaloo

Mightymini- you know the easy routine what activity do you do at night is it just a case of changing nappy ?


----------



## JanaH

Hi Ladies,

I'm still here    

Hope all the new mums are doing well with there bundles of joy.

We still have family with us, it's now 10 weeks non stop, they only leave next Tuesday. I'm getting really fed up with it. Joseph is an absolute dream, he got himself in a routine. He started sleeping through from 4 weeks, he goes to bed at 9 at night and don't wake until 6 in the morning. He love sleeping LOL just like his mum    His a bad drinker though, he only drinks 4 bottles a day, and then don't even finish it all. He still gaining weight, his going to be a tall boy.

He had his first jabs last week, bless him he didn't even cry just slept through it all. We are planning a camping trip with him when he is 3 months old on the Isle of Wight. He starts his first swimming lessons in Sept, we are looking forward to it as he loves water. I'm doing well, love being a mum

Fizzy not long until you have your bundle   

Have to run....


----------



## carrie lou

Mini I ate tons of strawberries and bananas! Had no idea you weren't supposed to, I thought fruit was a good thing!  But surely that is being over cautious - if you listened to every piece of advice you would starve to death during pregnancy  


Jana  nice to hear from you  My baby is the opposite, always eating and never wants to sleep!  Though he is only waking twice most nights now so this is progress. Don't know how you have coped with so many visitors, I bet you will be glad to have your house back to yourselves again.


----------



## juju81

Quick one for amanda, we didn't do the activity part at bed! We didn't want to stimulate him but early evening we did a bath routine which was his 'activity'

x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

amanda - yes at first we were changing his nappy at night, then as he got a bit older we didn;t bother as he was awake when feeding and i just made sure i roused him before putting him down if he was alseep.


----------



## ceci.bee

amanda we are in a routine now of doing bath time at 6.30 followed by baby massage and a feed after which he goes down, and then I wake him gently for a dream feed at 11 and he usually sleeps through then until 6-7am - but he has only managed this after about 10 weeks. I have found the baby massage really helpful as it gets him really calm and ready for the feed, which then conks him out. whatever we do in the day we stick to this and it really helps get him down. Good luck!

Hi jana lovely to hear from you - as long as your boy is gaining then it doesn't matter too much how much he eats - and it will change all the time I promise!
lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## speeder

I read gina and realised it wasn't for disorganised people like me - I felt I would never have left the house! I found dd fell into her own routine - I personally couldn't leave her crying but lots of people do and gina seems to really work. 

Had a crazy day. Had more weird fluid so ended up at triage where the staff were amazing. Did a speculum exam, all fine, and a scan to check amount of fluid and cervical length - all fine too and I got to see my little one again.   very impressed with nhs today. Doctor lovely and said did right thing and always to fone if similar thing happens or less movement. Anyway it's been put down to copious discharge - sorry if tmi! Absolutely nackered now as quite stressful. 

There is so much conflicting advice on what to eat. It does my head in! I love salad but don't have it when I eat out now - mmmm x


----------



## juju81

Speeder, glad everything is ok   I suppose with any of the preg/motherhood info, do u what you feel more comfortable doing!

Carrie, yeah Noah was sleeping through from about 16wks altho his dream feed carried on until about 7 months and now (altho not for a while) we have been known to give him a bottle to get him bck off if he wakes in the night....generally found it was the early teething stages!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ho hum....................... got some news


----------



## speeder

Exciting news I hope!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

some how DHs boys managed to make to to my crabby eggs and make me preggers         I'm nearly 6 weeks, shocked and stunned. But there is a risk i could M/C with his balenced paracentric inversion    so we'll see what happens. The GP has referred us for a scan


----------



## OZNOB

Mini, hope you don't mind me popping on here but just come across your news and wanted to say Congratulations! Hope all goes well for you, so happy for you xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Thanks ozzy! I was going to tell the maybies once I'd had the scan


----------



## OZNOB

Sorry, I couldn't help myself...had to say something! Lots and lots of luck sweetie x will be checking on here to see how you're getting on.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

You Need to change your ticker


----------



## JanaH

WOWOWOWOWOW Mini congrats on your exciting news


----------



## OZNOB

What's wrong with me ticker?


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

your flipping ticker Ozzy is out of date!    You know i have ticker OCD!

Cupcake - Yes we have DS from donor sperm    DH has chromosomal problem. we found out from karyotype test we did, cos we had 2 chem pg from our first 2 ICSIs.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Mighty - congrats - so hoping for you that it all works out!

On the subject of food - I had an absolute craving for strawberries and all things strawberry containing and ate them by the bucket load if I could in pregnancy! Your kidneys pee out the potassium if you are healthy with no renal failure - and I think it would be pretty hard to eat enough to be toxic.
Bit like the pineapple thing - in order to induce contractions you would have to eat 4 whole ones, not a slice.

Cupcake - you will be fine! Mozzarella is fine made with pasturised milk and if it is cooked on a pizza then doubly fine. It is soft and mould ripened cheese that is dangerous.
I used to also have a craving for mozzarella toasties for lunch from the hospital coffee shop. YUM!

An update from me.
We went to the tongue tie clinic today up in London. Charley was formally diagnosed with a very significant posterior tongue tie limiting vertical, horizontal and lateral movements of his tongue. Basically he could hardly move it compared to how it should be! Plus he has a significant upper lip tie, but they are not treated.

This explains everything - that terrible first week leading to SCBU admission, the flailing arms, head banging, constant trying to unsuccessfully feed, constant crying, low milk supply due to lack of effective milking of the breast leading to low oral intake, the slow meconium passage, dehydration, jaundice, severe weight loss, ketosis, etc.... All of it.

Once we had to introduce formula, things calmed down because he was not so ill and getting food and fluid and I was better rested and less stressed out. But he was still feeding for an hour a breast and not coming off himself.

The tie was cut, not nice, but over with. Horrid getting a baby returned to you with a mouth full of blood - another reason for me to feel like a wicked mummy and yet more trauma for him in his short life so far, but it only took a minute, and then he fed beautifully straight after and came off himself looking really satisfied. I now have to feed at least every 3 hours on the breast for the next 5 days to prevent adhesions, and try and get my milk supply up now he can properly suckle and ''milk'' me.

So far, I have already seen a difference. He can poke his tongue out now and when opening his mouth to latch, his tongue is visible and coming forward to cup the nipple as it goes in. He then seems to have a rhythmical undulation of the jaw as he suckles rather than chomping.

I hope this is going to work!


----------



## amandaloo

Hazel- that's great news glad he has had it sorted out . Fingers crossed for you   

Mightymini- wow congratulations and the very best of luck for your scan   

It's a bit late so won't attempt to do Any more personals lol but thanks for the advice I'm going with the easy routine  sounds sensible x


----------



## Fizzypop

Mini - great news, am keeping everything crossed for you x

Hazel - great also that you have now got a dx and hopefully things will start to improve!

It's my last day at work tomorrow - exciting but scary at the same time! Although the number of lunch dates/jobs I have will keep me going until due date and beyond am sure!


----------



## pinkcat

Mini    wow, good luck for your scan


----------



## carrie lou

Mini - wow, that's amazing, congratulations! Good luck for your scan   


Fizzy - yay for maternity leave! Enjoy it honey  


Hazel - great that you got the tongue tie sorted and Charley is feeding so much better. Though I can imagine it was quite traumatic.  


Zac has his vaccinations this afternoon


----------



## juju81

Mini I bought u were waiting for ur scan?? Ha ha ha


----------



## OZNOB

Mini


----------



## speeder

Mini - just wanted to say wow   on your bfp. Is it not a great sign that you are 6 weeks - that a great swimmer must have made it? 

Hazel - good they got the Tongue tie. Why didn't they pick up on in hosp? They normally check for it with a baby not latching on. Our midwife noticed it with dd and the op makes a huge difference. The only thing is their little tongues protrude for a bit longer as it's like they are too long! Even now if dd is tired her little Tongue pokes out - so cute  

Hazel - you are a mine of info so hope you don't mind me asking. Would you know if you had caught listeria in pregnancy? Dr google is very varied on this point! I have felt rubbish all week - but very non specific, basically just exhausted and mild nausea, but no fever or aches etc. I am thinking just a virus, as I am v run down what with dd at nursery, my stressful job and dh who isnt hugely supportive.  Then I start thinking about my old favourite worry of cmv as I have not had that. And then I think no wonder I am tired - I am a stress head!  

Fizzy yay for mat leave - enjoy every minute with your bump! 

Anyone heard from vix? 

X


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

http://www.babycenter.com/0_listeriosis-during-pregnancy_9528.bc

Speeder, if you are properly concerned you need a blood test to rule it out.

/links


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju  

Speeder hopefully I am still about 6 weeks but have no idea if it's progressing. I have no symptoms at all. Boobs are normal.   I have a scan on Sunday. Going private as nhs are a load of poo


----------



## speeder

Mini - good luck for Sunday. I don't really have symptoms the first few weeks - did you last time? So hard to get scans on nhs, I sympathise! X

Thanks Hazel. Seeing doc tomorrow anyway. Will be amazed if they agree to test me - I don't even have listeria symptoms and haven't even eaten anything very worrisome. Did you ask your doc when you gad your coleslaw incident? Apparently article in today's paper about effect of stress on fetus - maybe I should have a glass of wine and chill! X


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I Agree  chill hun. I'm sure it's fine. 

My boobs were sore and there's nothing this time


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## carrie lou

Speeder definitely try to chill honey. It's so easy to get worried about every little thing when pregnant, but you just need to relax sometimes.  

Mini     for your scan  


Zac was very brave with his jabs, only cried a little bit, but he is now being quite clingy. We are going away for a night this weekend to celebrate our anniversary. First time we have been away with Zac


----------



## teresal

mini --- oh my god that is fantastic news     will have everything crossed for you on sunday honey, can't stop smiling      Take That must have been good    

there you go ladies, you just never know, i laughed at my HV when she started talking about contraception after having meredith, but she did convince me that it would be a good idea to use something just in case. mind you not doing it is a good contraception in my house   

am reading ladies but just never get the time to post much now, meredith has 2 teeth now and the bottom 2 are just ready to come through so she has been a bit grumpy at night time. we are starting to get organised for her birthday now, yet again she is going to be spoiled rotten   

better run, need to get ready for work


----------



## Lindz

Wow, wow, wow Mini, oh my god, bet that was a bit of a surprise!! Everything crossed for you for Sunday xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Speeder - when I had my coleslaw incident I told the midwife and she said that I was not ill enough to have listeria, but if I got a fever and aches to go and see GP. She said if is was shop bought and in date not to worry - I did not tell her that it was in fact out of date   , I just watched for symptoms.

It is very rare. I am sure I would have seen more cases professionally if it were a real problem.

In America with all those people there are only 2500 cases a year according to one article and I think they said only a third of those in pregnant women.

Carrie - well done to brave Zac and brave mummy.   Hope he feels OK later on when they start to take effect. Have you got some paracetamol syrup ready? DH had to go to ASDA at midnight last night to get some and I have given Charley a teeny dose for post op pain twice so far - only 40mg as he is under 8 weeks and only weighs 4Kg. It is only 10mg/kg at this age. He also spat some of it out.  

Another traumatic thing Charley has to look forward to! I always seem to be doing something horrid to him - I bet he wants to go back in the womb where it was safe!


----------



## juju81

Hazel, my cousins little boy Lucas had Tongue tie but nothing compared to Charley!

I just used to give Noah the dose the box says! He has 240mg now but certainly isn't 24lb  . He seems ok


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

DS has 10mls  for each dose now and same for neurofen   

Thanks Tezza and lindz.    My Gp tried to tell me to take the pill    i told her i didn't need it


----------



## ceci.bee

wow mini what a suprise!             for your scan. Don't worry too much about your boobs - I think with different pg there are different symptoms and wiht a natural conception you have a much less accurate timing of everything IYKWIM

Hazel I am so pleased Charley is sorted out - it is horrible doing painful things to babies, but he is going to do so much better now and it was the right thing to do - and as my mum says he is not going to remember it when he is 18!!!  seriously feeding him now must be so much better and you sound happier which is great.
cupcake don't worry too much about listeria - it is really really rare and the cases that cause foetal loss are classically from pate/or cold meats and really smelly french cheese - mozarella is fine raw and all cheese are fine cooked as the listeria dies abouve about 50 deg I think.

Hi to everyone else hope you are all fine - NVB thinking of of you for your scan         let us know how you get on

llots of love
E
xx
ps have put more pics of Joshi on our blog www.gavemandjoshi.blogspot.com


----------



## carrie lou

Hazel yes we have some Calpol in the house just in case, I wanted to be prepared  although the nurse said only to give it as a last resort, apparently the advice has changed  Don't worry about the jabs though, seriously it was much less traumatic than I was expecting. I thought he would scream the surgery down and be inconsolable like he was when the GP examined him at our 6 week check  In fact he only cried for probably less than 30 seconds, as soon as the needles were out of him and I'd given him a cuddle he seemed to forget all about it. I imagine a tongue tie operation is a hundred times worse so if you could cope with that, Charley's vaccinations will be a piece of cake   

Teresa - happy birthday to Meredith, can't believe she is nearly 1 already!   

Well having said Zac was fine he actually cried for an hour when I was trying to put him to bed  which isn't like him at all. I'm assuming it's an effect of the jabs, the nurse did say it could make him more irritable than usual. He is finally asleep now so I am going to join him. Night night everyone.


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

In terms of paracetamol dosing - it is fine to dose as on the box for older children, although the dosing is about to be changed to much less for younger children and more for older in the age 1-12 age group. See the new dosing tables in this press release. They are not removing existing packets in circulation, but it is changing on all paediatric licensing soon.

http://www.mhra.gov.uk/NewsCentre/Pressreleases/CON120251

For an infant below 8 weeks they metabolise the drug very differently to older children as they do not have the same pathways available in the immature liver.

For under 8 weeks the dose is very low, and generally this is recommended for young children.

Older children can have up to 15mg per kilo four times a day if necessary to control severe fever, but you still have to be careful.

/links


----------



## speeder

Thanks girls. Feel better - did have tiny bit of wine, never drink in pregnancy but figured a couple if sips couldn't harm. Apparently listeria is everywhere - the last few cases in uk have been from butter and lettuce but so rare so I think i am going to stop worrying  

Mini - when I had my m/c I had bleeding on and off for days and bizarrely had sore boobs and sickness. I know there are extra worries for you so I can imagine it's nerve wracking but no symptoms is so normal for early on  

Carrie - dd always had a temp the nite of her vaccinations. It's a bit scary the first few times but you know their immune systems are working hard. There is a tonne of conflicting advice about whether to give calpol.  Often just removing clothes takes it down a notch. It honestly gets easier each time x

Hi teresal, can't believe Meredith nearly one! Nice to hear from you x


----------



## H&amp;P

Vix - if you are still reading on here your inbox is full, I know you haven't been on line for a few days so wondering if your LO has arrived.    Sending love and cuddles through cyber space for you, had phone stolen so not got your number anymore.


----------



## pinkcat

Hazel - Glad you got the tongue tie sorted. The info on paracetamol dosing is really useful, I'm going to make a note of that. 

carrie- hope zac has settled down now.

We've been really lucky that Josh has got to 1 year old and not needed any medicine at all so far (touch wood he has been a very healthy baby). They said to only give it after jabs if he got a fever...and he didn't, and he was not grumpy or anything so the bottle has just remained in the cupboard since then! 

I just got the appointment through for Joshua's MMR and booster jabs    Not looking forward to that. He is so much more aware now, I don't think he will be as good about it as he was with the other ones!

ceci- lovely pics   

speeder- glad you are going to stop worrying, like you say it's really rare.

Hi teresa, enjoy Meredith's birthday!


----------



## juju81

Pinkcat ur very lucky, noahs generally healthy but suffered with some of his teeth and I figured why let him be in pain when he doesn't have to be!!

He was fine after his mmr! Its the pre-school ones I'm more worried about because he will know then whats happening! Noah didn't have a clue with his mmr! Just gve him chocolate


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I agree to give drugs before jabs. Dose em up!


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## JanaH

Ladies I need help...

I've noticed since Monday that our LO doesn't want to drink, he will take anything from 30 - 90 mls per feed. If we take out the bottle he refuse to take it again, he pushes the teat out of his mouth with his tongue. I took him to the GP this morning, she can't find anything wrong with him, and said to come back on Monday if his not drinking over the weekend and then she will refer us to paeds.

I went to Mothercare today to buy new bottles to see if that will make any difference. He did drink about 160mls but it took over an hour to feed him. Changed his bottles from Tommee Tippee anti colic plus to NUK.

Any advice on how to get him to drink more....

Mini hope everything goes well on Sunday.

Have a lovely weekend ladies


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

jana - this happend to DS when he was about 3 months. He would only drink 2ozs and that would take about an hour to give. It was really stressful.    The docs thought it was a reflux (he did have a bit) i gave him gaviscon and changed to doctor browns bottles, eventaully he started drinking again after about 2 weeks. I was soooooo stressed by it tho. so i know how you are feeling.    it could be lots of wind or a slight relux or not feeling well?


----------



## juju81

Jana, Noah used to only drink about 2-3 oz max all the time. How much was he taking?  Is it a big difference? I cant really giv any advice really because as I say that's all Noah drank! He didn't drink enough to keep a fly alive  

Try not to stress tho as he will pick up on it, easier said than done and I should maybe listen to my own advice sometimes!


----------



## *ALF*

Jana - DD did a similar thing at about 12 weeks, turned out to be the start of teething - well, putting some teething gell on her gums before a feed sorted it out, so I assume it was teething related.  Dentinox teething gel can be used from birth, so it might be worth giving it a try even if just to rule it out.  And yes, I didn't think teething could start that early but apparently it can.....

Mini - all the best for Sunday


----------



## JanaH

Thanks for the replies, I will try anything at the moment.

Juju - he use to drink between 180 - 200mls four times a day. How many times did you feed Noah?


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

Charley will only ever take an absolute maximum of 90mls per feed and we often have to stop half way and burp him. I have to breast feed him first at each feed -was just for milk supply reasons, but now it is to stop the tongue tie re-adhering.

Feeding used to take so long, but since the tongue tie removal, he seems to be quicker at bottles too.

I also find that Charley will put his tongue in front of the teat if I am not careful, and suck for ages, but no liquid goes. He gets fed up and tired and pushes the bottle out eventually, just to be hungry again after a rest.

I leaned that I had to wait for his mouth to open and put the teat rapidly into the roof of his mouth above his tongue.

Charley will feed 3-4 hourly - breast and EBM/formula top us. In the evening between 7pm and 1am he cluster feeds and may have lots of feeds hour after hour until he finally sleeps at 1am.


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## carrie lou

Jana is he still having plenty of wet nappies? If so that's a sign that he is getting enough fluids at least. Not sure what else to suggest except keep offering it to him and keep a close eye on how many wet and dirty nappies. Hope things go OK over the weekend.


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## juju81

Jana, he fed every 3ish hours! He only started drinking more about 7months!!!!


----------



## Fizzypop

what cheese is in the cheese soufle? 

I think goats cheese is okay if its cooked, i.e. served hot to kill off any potential lurgy...


----------



## hopingagain

Hi girls sorry I havent been posting much but between dh and ds both wanting the laptop I dont get much chance and its a nightmare to try and do on my phone. My laptop is past it now so I reckon a new one is in order for christmas haha!!

Anyway am gonna try and keep up with posts as much as I can know I have 6 weeks holiday from work and then only 7 weeks left to work this year yippee haha!

Carrie how is Zac after his jabs now? I remember ds being very clingly asfter them. 

Cupcake wonderful news on your scan I hope you can beleive it now xx

Sorry for no other personals, hope everyone and thier lo's are well. 

AFM had my 24 week check up last week although I was only 23 weeks and I am measuring 2 weeks ahead. If this continues at my 28 week check up then they will send me for a scan and decide whats best...maybe an early delivery! I have also been diagnosed with SPD, anyone else have this? I am waiting to hear from physio now to be fitted with a belt etc. 

I have a 4D scan booked for 17th August so cant wait for that and see our little princess again. xxxx


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## juju81

HOping again, yes I had Spd, if u read back a few pages I was giving speeder tips! Unfortuntely I still get pain now and my labour was horrendous as all my pain was in my pelvis! I chose not to have th belt because I was advised u can't wear it for sitting and considering 95% of mine time was spent sitting t work or driving I decided it was too much hassle! You might think different tho! I do feel for u though   

Ooh cupcake, I had to pick nick up from outside the vestry the other week at 130am with Noah! He piled down the car on the way home   

Hoping gain - I measured different all the time, one time I was wks ahead then I was behind....at least there'll keeep an eye in u!


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## amandaloo

Hopeful Hazel - just to let you know your describing exactly what I experience re feeding times cluster feeding etc and I do same as you ebm, breastfeed, formula . I spoke to h/v about him being hungry again sometimes after an hour and half especially if I've given him bf or ebm . She said it's cause they metabolise it quicker and was normal  Told her there's no way I could keep up or wanted to keep up when he's like that especially if he is on me over an hour at a time as when I've tried just bfeeding he can sometimes feed up to 11 times a day if I ebm and formula and bf it's much less times approx 8 . She then said he shudnt be on me for that long hes using me as a dummy ! h/v said usually they only feed 5- 30 mins of one boob then swap. So I've been keeping my eye on that . It's hard to 
know though especially when not satisfied after feeds from breastfeeding . Anyway persevering with it will have done a month on Monday which is much more than I thought I'd do . Ps I bought a double expresser a medela one . Very quick I must say . Got it off eBay for half the price. 

Hope you ladies are all well 

Amanda x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Scan dated me at 5.5 wks. Sack and yolk there but no pole or heartbeat yet cos too early. She said shape and size are perfect. Will rescan in 10 days


----------



## Fizzypop

ooh mini, that is fab news. keeping everything crossed for you - now you start the (nearly) 2ww, lol!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Thought us managed to bypass that


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I was never sick until 13 wks   then the sickness went completely.   it's to do with your sugar levels so keep snacking and youllbe fine.


----------



## hopingagain

Mini good luck for the next scan fingers crossed your little beanie will continue to grow strong and big xx

Cupcake I went off all food at the beginning and lived on rich tea biscuits but then I did have the sickness from 5 weeks to! I still can't eat the same foods and still off most of the foods I used to eat! However my apetite did come back at about 23 weeks when the sickness stopped! Baby will still get everything they need from you though xx

Hi to everyone else xx


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## teresal

mini -- thats great news honey, pray all is well at 10 weeks then (bet you have another before then), how many scans did you have with ds before 12 weeks


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## carrie lou

Mini great news  Good luck for next scan   

Cupcake sorry you're feeling sick honey, just eat whatever you fancy at this stage, baby will still grow fine. I was so sick I lived on hardly anything for the first few weeks   

Hoping Zac is fine thanks, he didn't get a temp or anything after the jabs. Colic has been quite bad the last couple of days but think that's just a coincidence.

Ladies quick question for those of you with older kiddies - for the last day or so Zac has been dribbling more than usual, sick more than usual and sucking his fist all the time even when I've just fed him - wondering if he could be teething already? I've had a really good look in his mouth but can't see any imminent teeth


----------



## *ALF*

Carrie - certainly sounds as though it could be the start of teething.  DD started at 12 weeks.  Be warned though, from my experience with DD it doesn't necissarily mean any teeth are imminent - DD had classic teething symptoms on and off from 12 weeks but didn't actually cut her first tooth until 2 weeks before her first birthday. Having said that a friends DD cut her first tooth at 3 months......

Mini - all sounding good


----------



## margesimpson

OH MY GOD!!!! Mini - that it amazing news!     I thought for a minute you'd done a sneaky wee cycle, but low and behold a natural BFP! That's wonderful news!!!     Will be keeping everything crossed that the next scan goes well!     


Carrie - I'd say teething too - it's the teeth moving that seemed to cause DS the most bother. The actual crowning seemed less painful. Some babies are born with teeth apparently!?


Cupcake - I know the feeling honey - just keep up the mantra "It'll all be so worth it!" It's the only thing that makes me feel i can cope with the constant nausea.


Mx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Carrie- it's totally normal at his age to dribble and put his fist in his mouth. It is the start of teething, but like alf said there probably won't be any teeth yet. Ds got his first when he was about 6 mths. He's only got 4 now! 

Marge no cycle for us. We couldnt afford it plus my age is against us and we didn't want anymore    whoops all that seems to have gone by the by! But not out of the woods yet. Still got to get that heartbeat, 

Tezza I have another s an in 10 DAYS  not wks!!! Get with it woman do u honestly think I'd wait 10 wks    I had 4 scan before the 12 wk one


----------



## teresal

mini


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥




----------



## juju81

Carrie, u sure he's not still hungry??  

Mini, is ur next scan private too?

Noahs poorly! He's got croup. He's just sat and cuddled us all day in-between sleeping and coughing


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ahh poor Noah   

Ju - No i hope to get one from NHS    i was referred for one from GP but the Biatch at the EPU said they will only do them after 8 weeks.    so once they get the referral through, and then phone me, i will tell them i;m having pains and need a flipping scan


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## nvb

OMIGOD Mini...just read your news    Congratulations on that lovely surprise. Wowser....bet you were shocked!!! 

AFM...got a shock of my own on Friday at my 6 week scan....see my siggy below      DP having a nervous breakdown     xx


----------



## JanaH

Mini great news about your scan.       for your next scan in 10 days. 

NVB congrats on the twins    look after yourselve and your cargo.

Juju - poor Noah, hope he feels better soon

AFM - Joseph had about 420mls through the whole day yesterday, and so far today he has had 640mls so his intake has increase. He throw up a bit today and it was quite mucusy and yellow, don't know if I should take him back to the GP tomorrow. I can only get him weight on Tuesday, would really like to see if he has gained weight in the last two weeks.

Have a good week ladies


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Nvb I saw your news yesterday   congrats Hun!  

Jana he might have a cold coming and feel eating


----------



## speeder

Gosh lots going on!

Nvb wow twins!!! That is brilliant - are you doubly sick or not too bad? 

Mini - so glad the scan spot on - 10 day countdown. You are funny and make me laugh  

Carrie - def teething. A little soft bib stops you having to change their top ten times a day. Bless them, they drool for weeks before the teeth arrive. Have you heard of Sophie the giraffe? It's a French natural rubber teething toy babies seem to love to chew on - and it squeaks! 

Juju - hope Noah ok - croup is nasty x

Jana - sounds like Joseph is a hungry boy. Hope the sickness settles x

Had a lovely day - poor dd getting a cold though so can hear the little soul snoring - so cute x


----------



## pinkcat

Congrats on the twinnies nvb!!

Congrats mini, hope you get to hear the heartbeat at the next scan   

cupcake, I sympathise with the sickness, I had it for nearly 6 months    it was a weird kind of sick though, I would be eating happily then suddenly have to go to the loo to throw up   then come back and carry on eating    Also, I only wanted to eat unhealthy stuff like crisps and sweets but the gp said it was fine as baby takes what it needs from stores in your body.

Juju, poor Noah, hope he recovers soon.

Janah, don't know about the milk intake but it's always worth checking with the professionals if you are worried.

Carrie, yes I agree that teething behaviour can start much earlier than the teeth actually coming through.


----------



## Lindz

Just off to baby group but wanted to say-
Mini- great news, hope the next 9 days go quickly for you x

Ju- poor Noah, I have enough trouble when mine only have a cold so really feel for you 

Jana- glad he did a bit better with his milky yesterday. I've had problems with DS's milk intake since he was 6 weeks so I know how frustrating and worrying it is. On the positive side, he's sometimes had very little but never dropped off his weight line and always been happy. He's still little now but he uses it to his advantage and is already crawling and standing and runs rings round poor DD. What does Joseph do if he doesn't want his milk? Does he cry? Turn away? Try and drink and then pull off? I found when DS was really difficult that he was better if I left him a bit between feeds so he was properly hungry and just keep trying. When I was properly worried he hadn't had enough I'd do an Ezra dream feed as he fed better asleep! Hopefully for you it was just an odd couple of days thing and he'll be back to normal this week x

NVB- congrats on your double trouble! I'm trying to re-home some of my earl twin stuff (feeding pillow, books etc) so give me a shout in a few weeks when DH has settled down if I can help with anything!

SD-how are you doing? Can you offer any of my twin bits and bobs a good home??

Hiya everyone, argh, going to be late...


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Thanks lindz, I've just realised reading your post that i have sold my frigging feeding pillow


----------



## ceci.bee

NVB soooooooo excited for you and chuffed you had a good scan and twins!!! when is your next scan?

Carrie I know what you mean - Joshi is also drooling loads and have assumed it is pre-teething. We have a sophie giraffe (were given 3!) but so far he is not even interested in chewing anything except his fist
Sweetdreams how are things? when  is your scan this week?? thinking of you
Janah you can always try weighing your boy by weighing yourself then yourself carrying him to see if he is gaining - it is not as accurate as the doc but pretty good guide. am sure he will be fine I think intake varies loads depending on if they are growth spurting or not....

Mini fab news on your scan, and hope you hear a lovely HB on the next one......       
lots of love 
Ceci


----------



## carrie lou

Cupcake I think normal - I had similar in the first trimester, then it settled down, then in the last few weeks of pregnancy came back again!  It's all to do with hormones. Just keep an eye out that it doesn't start smelling offensive  It's horrible being sick at work isn't it, I was constantly running to the loo for the first 3 months  

NVB congratulations, how exciting! DH always said he would love it if we had twins - now we have one, he has changed his mind  Don't mean to put you off, I'm sure it will be wonderful!  

Jana - how is Joseph doing? Yep definitely get him weighed,     he has gained weight.

Juju poor Noah  Hope he feels better soon

Thanks ladies for all your thoughts re. teething. He seems less dribbly today but fist still permanently in mouth. I asked my mum about it, she said I started teething at 12 weeks and cut my first tooth at 4 and a half months, so maybe early teething is genetic


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Cupcake the stuff that comes out of there gets worse   and just wait til u have the baby   get a supply of tenna lady in!   I had shares in them!!


----------



## speeder

Cupcake - totally normal - mine is there all the way through - lots, yuk! It's obvious if it's an infection so don't worry 

Dd had some dried blood in her ear tonight - maybe she has been scratching in it. She does get ear infections so hope another isn't brewing! Prob off to docs tomorrow x


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Cupcake - normal if it is non itchy, non smelly and creamy/clear. If it is irritating then it could be thrush or bacterial vaginosis - but what you describe is normal - all the hormones.

Yes - just wait for the urinary incontinence at about 30 weeks! I had a problem where I would wee and think it was all finished and then stand up and it would all start again. Quite embarrassing especially at work if I did not catch it. TMI but I had to roll up a load of paper and when standing up place it strategically to prevent accidents. I think I should have got some tena lady too!
Instantly resolved once baby's head no longer on my bladder!

I laugh when my Dad says Charley's head is so heavy it is hurting his arm - I tell him that at least it is not on his bladder 24/7!

NVB - I nearly missed your news ........    what will it be? pink or blue or mixture? Congrats - keeping my fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy.


----------



## juju81

HH I'm glad urs stopped once baby was out because mine actually started Afterwards! I didn't have any problem with it whilst preg but they say a forceps delivery makes it worse afterwards!  I was walking to the loo the day after I had him and couldn't control it, it ran down my legs   I cried to the nurse   I can laugh bout it now but at the time I was distraught and thought it would never be the same again! It's not but it's nothing like it was 

I do my pelvic floors but only when I remember    or ive had a cold and wet myself numourous occasions!!


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I'm the same ju. If I have this 2nd one I can see bladder reconstruction coming my way!!!


----------



## sweetdreams73

hello ladies - sorry for my absence, lost the thread for a while and havent been posting much on FF... hope all you lovely ladies and bumps and babes are all doing great     x

hopeful hazel - know where your coming from with weak bladder, so embrassing  , I have both twins head down now with T1 right low down and I keep rushing to the loo to find I can only pee a tiny amount and then 10 mins back again.... oh what fun!!! DH cant believe how often I have to go!!! he thinks its     

Lindz - oh.... twin stuff... pls send me a PM with what you are wanting to get rid of and where you live.... I have actaully just bought most stuff now... but are in need of very small baby clothes for boys as not bought any yet as I dont know whether we are going to need Tiny Baby or Early Baby all depends on when they want to deliver them.... so if you are you know of anyone that has any pls let me know. thanks      hope all great with you and your little ones xx   

juju - hope noah is feeling better really soon, lots of hugs to him and you     
NVB - Ahh wow fantastic news, huge congratulations on expecting twins    ... how lovely and welcome to the club... once you get over the shock its just wonderful and very special having the two growing inside you.... I will miss my double bump when the boys come out...

cupcake - Sorry about the sickness hope that soon passes     I get a lot of discharge with my pregnancy and was told thats all normal, just be aware if it smells or changes from normal and is greenish or dark brownish.... I have had thrush twice with this pregnancy as well but you will know if its thrush... if your worried or if you have trouble peeing and it burns... get your M/W or dr to do a swab to check for urine infection... I am sure everything is all ok and its just increase discharge that most of us get with pregnancy..   x

Speeder - hope your DD is ok and all goes great at the drs apt x   

Jana - hope joseph's feedings get better and his weight gain is all normal, sorry to hear about him being sick hope that stops    x

Carrie - hope the teething settles big    

Mini - OMG - huge huge congratulations    thats amazing news a natural BFP!!! OMG!! so very happy for you both you must be so very excited!!      all great at your nxt scan

AFM - We have to go and have an extra scan tomorrow (normally every other week) to check whether the twins shared placenta is functioning as it should and whether Twin 2's growth has actually increased now as at last scan last week it had decreased... we are hoping and      the placenta is working as it should and the twins wont have to be taken out now at nearly 31 weeks and will be able to stay inside me for another 5 weeks until planned csection at 36 weeks....   . Will keep you updated on what they say!

Love 
sweetdreamsxxxx


----------



## carrie lou

Good luck SD   Grow Twin 2, grow!


----------



## speeder

Good luck sd - keep growing little one


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

SD - I'm praying eveything is ok. A friend of mine had her baby at 33 weeks, because of PE and the placenta not working properly. He was absolutly fine, he didn't even need oxygen when he was born.    He just needed fattening up!    and now hes a bright little 1 yr old. I know you will still worry and of course want the babies to stay where they are. but whatever happens they will be well looked after.


----------



## ceci.bee

sweetdreams good luck                     thinking of you.....


----------



## pinkcat

sweetdreams - best of luck for you scan tomorrow


----------



## Fizzypop

SD - hope all is well at scan tomorrow xxx 

After seeing your posts I am sitting here doing my pelvic floor exercises lol!

I am officially on maternity leave now but still working (no logic there!) so will be able to keep up properly soon x


----------



## juju81

Yes fizzy do them. And stop working    

SD good luck Hun, I know its not ideal but if the little men will be safer on the outside then that's what's meant to be...you have done tremendously up until now


----------



## paws18

Hi everyone not been on for ages.

Hope all good with you all.

paws18 x


----------



## ceci.bee

cupcake sorry to hear you have had more tinged discharge - it is always worrying and nearly always normal, particularlly as your pg gets futher along - book that private scan to give you the reassurance - bubs will benefit from you being more relaxed and it is worth the dosh - I had 4 scans before 12 weeks with Joshi and don't regret a single one......
once you have got to 12 weeks and all is good then you can get a ticker - they are really cool to watch esp with the number of days left to go as they go down very fast!!!

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## northernmonkey

Mini - wow!!!! what fab news - congrats!!! I hadn't read the thread for a while and just saw your signature - it took me a few minutes to realise that it was a completely natural bfp and not a natural IUI!!  Good luck for the next 8 months    

speeder - Alan Rickman - can't decide whether or not that is worse than my guilty crush that is Trevor Eve...

SD - hope your scan went ok today and that baby has had a growth spurt.   

Paws - how are you?  

hope everyone else ok, just a quickie from me to say hello.  dh is out tonight so I'm on a mission to get some cleaning done while I have a couple of hours peace.


----------



## sweetdreams73

Thanks girls for all your sweet messages, so much appreciated  

cupcake - sure everything is all ok hun and its just a bit of spotting that some girls get   , I know its really hard but try not to worry and think positive   x

AFM - Well we had our scan today and I am so so very relieved to say that everything is now ok... the twins shared placenta is now functioning normally and Twin 2 is getting the normal amount of blood flow and he also has normal amount of fluid around him so Dr happy for twins to stay inside me and that for now placenta doing its job, I am back again next wednesday to have another scan and monitoring to check that things are still ok and placenta still doing ok... I am officially 31 weeks tomorrow so feel very grateful and appreciative of every single week the twins are ok and I am able to keep them safely inside me, we are very blessed and lucky indeed!!...









lots of love
sweetdreams xxxx


----------



## carrie lou

Excellent news SD, so pleased for you! Every day the twins stay inside, they are growing bigger and stronger and it won't be long before they are ready to meet their mummy and daddy!


----------



## northernmonkey

great news SD, you must be so relieved.


----------



## Fizzypop

SD - was just logging on for your news so pleased everything is okay. Will be keeping everything crossed that you hang onto them for as long as poss - but still 5 weeks until the planned delivery really is not long! Are you all sorted for everything?

Have they given you their weights yet? 

Mini - how are you holding up??

Hope everyone else well. Hopefully my nursery furniture is coming today so I'll have somewhere to start putting stuff, plus I have my friends and 4 kids coming over for lunch!


----------



## *ALF*

SD - excellent news keep those little chaps cooking for as long as possible, you've done really well to get to this stage before any growth concerns were mentioned, every day cooking is a bonus!!


----------



## LV.

Well I said hello and then promptly bu*gered off, slappa my wrist


Firstly can I say a mahoosive congrats to Mini on your BFP, what a piece of news that must be to swallow (in a good way of course). Wonderful all's looking good so far, good luck for your next scan, can't be long now


Cupcake - I completely went off food too, but seemed to always manage a biccie or a piece of cake. I also had a penchant for tinned rice pudding, can't say that it's subsided, although now I can manage normal food too    How is the nausea doing now? I hope it eases up for you soon


NVB - congrats on twins!!! Must be quite a thing to get your head around, how are you doing? Feet touched the floor yet?


Hazel - read with horror about urinary incontinence, I think mine is already starting. Oh the glamour. 


Sweetdreams - fab news on your scan, must be such a relief. Yay way to go baby Sweet and Baby Dreams!


Fizzy - enjoy sorting your nursery, that's going to be so much fun


I'm just plodding along cooking with gas. Saw the MW yesterday and everything was fine. Was totally amazed that my bump isn't measuring ahead considering how big my food flab was before - how is that?! The body is a clever thing. She reassured me that the lumps I can feel and have been pondering over are just my internal organs all being squished and pushed up, made me feel quite icky!!


Hope everyone's well
LV xxx


----------



## margesimpson

Just a quick hello...


Juju - I had terrible bouts of croup when i was younger and so has DS. I'm sure you've been told this already, but if you notice Noah sounding wheezy towards bedtime, put a chair in the bathroom and go to bed early to get some zeds in. Then when you hear the barking cough starting in the night, take him into the bathroom, put the shower on its hottest and let the steam build up. It'll help open the airways. When I was rushed to hospital with croup when I was a baby, my dad says the nurses took me straight into the kitchen and held me near the boiling kettle while they were "getting things ready".


SD - great news - keep those buns in the oven!


NVB - oh my goodness! After everything you've been through, it must seem like all your dreams come true! Plus a big pinch of stunned! 


Hi to everyone else,


Mx


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Cupcake, I too was really worried about MMC but remember honey they are rare. You will see all sorts of scary stuff but once you've seen a heartbeat the chances are everything will be fine.   Good luck for your scan.  


Re the midwife - I don't think she will know about the donor unless you choose to tell her. Mine didn't but at my booking appointment she did ask if my pg was the result of fertility treatment so I told her. As you know they go into quite a lot of detail about family history so it may be a good idea to tell, but you don't have to, it's totally up to you. At my 12 week scan though, the lady doing it said she needed to know exactly what kind of treatment i'd had (no idea why  ) so I told her too.


----------



## juju81

Aww cupcake, don't blame u for having loads of scans, I'd had 5 by 20wks! Doesn't o any harm else they wouldn't so them!

I can't believe u weigh they much, ur ** photos ur tiny!!!

We told our midwife, we've been open with nearly everyone tho, some people do some don't! On my booking in appoint it asks a load of genetic questions and t the bottom it said something like unknown - donor! So I just ticked that! I dint even think they picked up on it, my mw in labour certainly didn't know!!

I had my booking in appoint at 10 wks xxx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Cupcake u don't have to tell. We didn't. But did at this booking in yesterday because if the chromosomal problem I had to tell everything   I know the mw personally anyway so was fine with it. With the 12 week scan they need to know if it's done egg because if calculating the risk of downs  so if you are 40and your donor was 21   the risk goes down. With donor sperm it doesn't make any difference, 

I'm tempted to have another scan myself seeing as the nhs won't do One   but don't want to pay £100


----------



## juju81

Mini could u not find one a bit furtherbout if its cheaper? We drove to crawley, about 45mins away


----------



## hakunamatata

Hi girls thought I would be brave and join the board now im 12 weeks. I think I know everyone from the other board i have been stalking for a iccle while.

cupcake 11 6 is tiny, how tall are you? only reason i ask is my bmi is 31 and im 13 5. i was booked in at 9 weeks and asked weight, luckily i havent increased since. trying to be good, but it is hard as you fancy all the wrong food and eat to stem the nausea. enjoy today cupcake 50 pounds reassurance is worth it xx

so fab to hear about mini good luck for your scan hun x 

hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, we're looking after a wippet puppy. im waiting for my ruby's maternal instinct to kick in, but not happened yet lol, tho she is sharing her toys which is good. xx


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I'm in herts. There's somewhere else that does it for £75. Not worth going much further cos u only spend it on petrol. 

Hak welcome to the mad house! 

I'm home alone


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Happy 1st Birthday Meredith 
​
 Lots of love Mini and Monster Mini! xx​


----------



## juju81

Cupcake don't worry about ur weight, i only put on 1.5 stone! 

Yeah ww, only on my second week, but lost 4lb te first week! I have just over 3 stone to lose and near to what hakuna weighs! If I'm honest I couldn't give a damn what I weighed as long as I was a size 12/14! At the mo I wear anything from a 16-20  

If I lost what they say I shud I'd end up a lollipop head and I dot think that's a good look   

I just love food.......takeaways and crisps....there's no other reason for my weight! I can't even blame it on preg etc cos I weighed less last summer than I do now, I went back to work and my weight crept on   

Good luck anyway, let us know


----------



## juju81

Hakuna, welcome hunny, cant believe ur 12 wks already! Only seems like yesterday I was pm'ing u on ** about symptoms or lack of   will u find out sex? I'm obsessed on it ha ha!

Cupcake will u?

Mini will u?
 

Happy 1st birthday little Meredith


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

yes ju i will this time!    can i say you are NOT a 16-20           

i'm still blubbing


----------



## juju81

I swear to god mini!! My work trousers are an 18! Nick has no idea what I weigh and I cut all the size tags off cos I'm so embarrassed incase he sees them

Yippee! Will u have an early gender scan   

I also like names please. Many thanks


----------



## pinkcat

Hi hakunamatata    .

Happy Birthday Meredith!


----------



## carrie lou

to Meredith! Hope you are having a lovely day  

Hakuna welcome  and congrats on reaching 12 weeks!  Have you had 12 week scan yet?

Cupcake you're very welcome hun, glad I could help  

I also put on about 1.5 stone in pregnancy and was told this is a normal sort of weight gain - though I felt enormous! And still have over half a stone to lose to get back to what I weighed before. I've gone up a dress size  and it's hard to lose weight cause I'm so hungry all the time (I'm BFing which uses loads of calories) and don't have time to do any exercise! I tried to go to aqua aerobics class last week but had to bring Zac with me and he didn't enjoy sitting at the side of the pool in his car seat for 40 minutes!


----------



## ceci.bee

so pleased to see you here Hakuna - well done on getting to 12 weeks - and good luck for your NHS scan and am looking forward to seeing your ticker.....

Meredith happy birthday!!! what a milestone hope you are enjoying the day

Carrie am so there with you trying to do exercise - I am trying to take Joshi out for a walk around our neighbourhood in the baby bjorn most days and when he is in his play gym I try to do sit ups - but the Africans think I am mad walking with him on my front and they laugh at me openlyin the street which is a bit off putting! am well impressed you tried to go to aqua aerobics - do they have a mother and baby one so zac can come in the pool??

am also there with you with the weight - i delivered at 36 weeks and was in hospital so didn't gain too much at th end, but gained loads inthe first trimester when I ate to get rid of the nausea - mostly salt and vinegar crisps! but I figured whatever stopped me feeling sick was worth it........

lots of love to all
Ceci


----------



## pinkcat

Carrie - if you like aqua aerobics then I highly reccommend that you try baby swimming lessons...I have been taking Josh for the last few months and it's fantastic. The babies actually start learning to swim and as a bonus the mums get a real work out too... with all the lifting baby up and down and walking round the pool with them. I come out the water more exhausted than Josh does! but unlike him I don't  get to have a nice afternoon nap


----------



## hopingagain

Just a quick one as on my phone...

Hakuna congratulations on getting to the 12 week Mark it's great when you meet those little milestones xx

Mini and cupcake it's lovely having reassurance scans and we love hearing all about them. Xx

Hope everyone is keeping well and all the lo's are happy and smiling.

Happy birthday Meredith hope your having a lovely day xx

AFM bubba is kicking me lots and letting me know she is there haha! Coping ok with the SPD thankfully as still
Not heard from physio! Going away next week which will be nice and then got my 4d scan the week after which we are really looking forward to xx


----------



## LV.

Cupcake - I did tell the MW we used DS, we plan on being quite open about it. Like the others have said there is a form about family origins where you list the heritage of mother and father and there's boxes for donors too. As our donor is Greek she ordered an entra blood test for us as there's some condition that people of Mediterranean origin get (can't remember what it was called) to double check I didn't have it so they could be sure baby didn't have it. This form goes into your pink notes but nobody has ever opened the sheet of paper to look at it! All the MW's I've seen have been really lovely about the donor aspect and I even feel I get a bit of special treatment as i think they feel we've been through so much to get here. 


Hanuka - Congrats! 12 weeks is such a milestone. Hope you're feeling ok


   I can't hear you talking about weight gain! I daren't get on the scales and MW hasn't asked me to yet


----------



## hakunamatata

gosh im going to have to be so careful with my weight, im hoping the swimming will help soon too. i hate the way i look already, my i wish i had lost more before. but ah well.
12 week scan is quite late on the 17th aug which is why we had one last sunday, was amazing.
need cupcakes report now xx
happy birthday merredith      . hard to believe its been a year xx
we will find out the sex, im convinced its a boy xx
ju well done on the diet


----------



## carrie lou

Pinkcat  I do love swimming and am really keen to take Zac to baby swimming! But apparently they need to have their first course of vaccinations first so 2 more months to go for us.  


Cupcake great news on the scan  And mother's day - what a special day to have a baby!  

Best wishes to all pregnant ladies and don't worry too much about the weight gain.  Yes you might end up a bit bigger than before but it's so worth it to have your little bundle of fun. I'd do it all again tomorrow - but then I might just be a bit


----------



## hakunamatata

yay cupcake glad it was all well honey. when are you seeing your midwife?

apparently the rosie are just really busy so we've had to hang on. tried changing it but not possible. guess it means less wait to the 20 week scan tho i will probably have another private too. we have told some people but we're telling my dad and his side of the family at a wedding next weekend. i feel a ** announcement coming after the 17th!!


----------



## hopingagain

Cupcake wonderful news on your scan I hope you can start believing it soon xx


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Meredith

Don't worry girls about weight gain. You gain in treatment and 1st trimester, then it plateaus out for a while.
I have put on since breast feeding as I was told to eat more. I need to control it a bit now as I don't want to gain more. Breast feeding uses calories, but you also spend quite a lot of time sitting doing it.

We are going to get out more walking with the dog now I am 6 weeks post section, and we will get to Rosemary Conley again when it starts again in September - they all want to see baby and said I can take him, I hope he will stay quiet for 40 mins while I exercise! Also booked in for baby swimming taster in September. I have got my 6 week check next week, so hope to get approval for more exercise.

Also I have told all my care givers about donor. It is so common now no one bats an eyelid. It came up during antenatal checks, but more since Charley was born - I have been asked about family history of neonatal jaundice cos we had that, and tongue tie cos we had that too.

For standard tests they ask you about history of clicky hips and hearing loss in the family. There are loads of things in the red book too, but I forget.

You can't answer for any of it.

It was a bit difficult when the hv came as she knows my mil in personal life and I had to remind her about confidentiality, just in case - of course I know about NHS confidentiality in my job, but just in case anything slips I thought I would just be sure. Although I am open, I am not sure how dh's family feel, and don't want to embarrass them.

There was a funny incident on scbu - one of the nurses commented on how much Charley looks like mummy and then she said ''but we haven't seen daddy yet, so we don't know whether he looks like daddy''. I teased her and said '' I haven't seen daddy either!'' I did then put her shocked face out of misery by telling her he is donor conceived. I think she wanted to run away!


----------



## juju81

Cupcake yippee, it's the day after noahs birthday! My due date was 23rd! March babies rock! U get the whole of spring and summer off   what hospital you going to? Will u be on one born every minute    or one in gosport (if there is one, I don't know!!!)

Hazel/pinkcat - noahs been doing swim lessons since January, he loves it, such a special time and totally agree, it kills my legs and arms!


----------



## juju81

Yeah true, don't wanna get caught short in the car park! I had Noah in Worthing hospital, could have chosen that or chi but I've always had ops etc at Worthing and I think its slightly nearer and easier to get to in rush hour.....plus chi are really pro breast     

Also the unit at Worthing is nicer but they have now made chi a birthing centre with labour suite attached and its meant to be really nice there now....I know decor's not everything but it make a difference to me ha ha


----------



## carrie lou

Ju my mum used to work at Worthing hospital! I worked there too for a very short time before we moved west.


Cupcake yes I would love more babies ... but know it's by no means guaranteed, plus we wouldn't get any more NHS funding so it would cost us. Sad that it all comes down to luck and money when other people seem able to have as many kids as they want without even thinking about it! We  have our fingers firmly crossed for the future and just have to hope we will be lucky again


----------



## juju81

Carrie, where did u used to live then!? Where are u now?? If u don't mind me asking?!


----------



## carrie lou

We used to live in Haslemere on the Surrey/Hampshire borders (my mum had a bit of a commute!) We moved because of work/study and now live in Somerset. My in-laws live in Hampshire though so we're still in touch with that part of the world


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ladyverte was it thassalanaemia? (sorry spelling crap!    )

My parents live in dorset where i'm from, but they are moving up to be near us, again! They moved back before my tx with DS!   

cupcake good news on the scan!   

Feeling so tired today its crippling


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Hazel - I met some neighbours the other day, trhey hadn't seen DS for a while and both were saying how much he looks like his dad


----------



## hakunamatata

mini tiredness is good, that what i keep telling myself. it is hard to describe how overwhelming it is xx

cupcake i had relatives in haslemere. we're near cambridge in come from suffolk x


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

BTW i put on about 2st    but when DS was about 3 months i went to slimming world and lost 2 st! I'm now a stone lighter than i was before i got pg! I'm NOT putting on that wegight again, i;m going to carry on goign to SW.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

BTW (again!) i'm in Herts now


----------



## hakunamatata

well done mini, slimming world never really suited me. wish ww let pg women attend x


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## juju81

Oooh I stayed in the Lythe hill hotel for my birthday, it was lush!!

I love the west country, it's beautiful!!

Mini, those early days of tiredness are the pits! I remember just crying with pure exhaustion! It must be soooo hard with Lucas


----------



## juju81

Hakuna I agree, I did lose weight with sw but have a quicker loss with ww! I struggle to maintain it! I noticed the other day they don't let preg woman in they say it because there not qualified or something like that to give health/weight/food advice for preg woman! Probably just covering their backs!


----------



## hakunamatata

real shame hey.x xx


----------



## LV.

Mini - yep that sounds familiar, I remember it being a blood condition and anything with "anemia" in the title has got to be that, eh? Do you know much about it?


Cupcake - I'm not sure it's a standard thing tbh, The midwife was Greek and I mentioned we had a Greek donor (which pleased her immensely!) and she said we'd better test for whatsamathingie, although I think both parents have to be carriers so would be pretty unlikely (suppose I might have some med heritage way back, but pretty cautious)


xxx


----------



## juju81

I thought that was more black people (sorry if that's not politically correct) not Europeans??! Iykwim


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

no thats sickle cell, Thalassemia is in the med, africa, malaysia and other countries where malaria is. I don't know much about it, only that one of my clients has it. His mother was italian. Hes fine. just has bloods done now and again. I did read that it makes you tired    not much help


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ju since when were you ever PC


----------



## juju81

Well you never know who u might offend these days


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## carrie lou

Evening ladies, just wondering if anyone has read No Cry Sleep Solution? And if so, what did you think? I'm starting to feel the need for a little guidance in this area...


----------



## juju81

Mini got some good advice for sleeping!

I woud just leave Noah, then every so often go in and pat his back! I NEVER got him up but some people swear by the pick up put down, mini did, so u just need to try a few things really and see what works for you! For me, picking Noah up and then putting him down prolonged the crying, I suppose I did the controlled crying more!!

Sorry if I've not helped


----------



## teresal

thanks everyone for the birthday wishes for meredith    she has been soilt rotten (no change there then). we have had a lovely day, weather was rubbish so we rearranged furniture and put her bouncy castle in the living room, she loved it, surprised she hasn't broken anything cos she was just thowing herself about on it and even coming off head first   , anyway lets hope the next 12 months slows down a bit cos this year has gone so fast.

am shattered so bed it is for me, 2 partys this week (think i am to old for partying nowadays   )


----------



## JanaH

Teresal - happy birthday Meredith.


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Glad u had a good day Tezza  

Carrie I did the pick up put down with 10 mins of crying. It works   pippi did the no cry sleep solution, it takes longer but works too. Have a look on the sleeping thread in parents bit


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## teresal

Ju -- have changed ticker just for you


----------



## carrie lou

Thanks Mini and Juju for the sleep advice. Personally I think Zac is still a bit young for controlled crying, I would not feel comfortable doing that until he's old enough to understand a bit more. And he gets himself into such a state, it's awful to see and hear.   What is pick up put down? I've ordered the No Cry book off Amazon, at £6 I felt it was worth a go ... so we shall see! I don't mind if it takes a bit longer.


Teresa so glad Meredith had a nice birthday


----------



## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

pick up put down is the same as no cry but with a bit of crying, hes too big for it now but certainly worked when he was 4 mths. Now i have to leave him to cry if i know hes tired and wants to sleep but is fighting it.     I had to do it last night and he only cried for 1 min


----------



## speeder

Hi Carrie - just a quick one.  when is DS crying?  Is it at night or is it before every sleep?  If it's at night then I think it might still be colic and I think the books aren't very good on that because you can't leave a colicky baby to cry.  But if it's in general and he's otherwise v happy then I wouldn't recommend any particular book but I picked up a tip in the What to Expect in the First Year book which was that you can leave them to cry for a little bit of time.  It was hard the first time round but it worked v quickly - in a few sleeps DD would get herself down no problem - I would only leave her up to 10 minutes and then go in and settle her, pat her back, speak quietly etc, then leave the room again.  Sometimes it takes a few goes.  And, as I said, I think if they are in pain then it isn't the best idea.  DD is a little champion sleeper at night now - sings herself off but even for her afternoon nap will sometimes fight it but I just leave her for 10 minutes to have a little moan and she's off no problems. Hope this helps.  xx


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Speeder, the problem is not crying as such, he's generally a happy baby (except when he has colic). The problem is that we have developed a routine in which he can't settle to sleep without a feed immediately before, and then lots of rocking and cuddles. He is a light sleeper and frequently wakes up in the night and then I can't get him back to sleep unless I feed him, even when I know he's not hungry cause he's just had a feed  So I'm looking for a way to settle him without feeding first and try to get him to sleep better at night. Colic is one reason why I'm not happy to just let him cry at this stage. Also he is so young that he wouldn't understand why I was just leaving him and might think I was just being mean  but I can see how it would work better with an older baby. I know he is still very young and possibly these sorts of problems are to be expected at his stage. But I wouldn't like it to continue indefinitely so am starting to look for ways to break the link between feed and sleep! Thanks for the advice


----------



## juju81

Carrie, I didn't start Noah for a fair few months, I didn't start straight away lol!

Zac wont know think ur being cruel Hun, he has no feelings or understanding of that  iykwim!

I know dummies aren't for everyone but could u maybe try one for sleep? Noah only has his for sleeping, but was a godsend in the early days. Or u could just try patting his back and ssshing him. Thing is you either have to ignore him for a bit or keep doing what your doing


----------



## carrie lou

Hi Juju, I didn't mean to suggest that you'd been cruel!  Just that I personally feel controlled crying is more suited to slightly older babies and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it just yet.

I have tried giving Zac a dummy but it doesn't help much unfortunately, he just spits it out and carries on crying!   In a way I wish he was more keen on it because I do think it would help settle him - perhaps I should keep trying...

The No Cry book has apparently been written specifically for babies like Zac who need to feed to sleep, and claims to be a middle ground between letting him cry it out, and doing what I'm doing now. Which is why I'm so interested to read it.   Though last night was pretty good, he slept from 8.30 - 12, then 12.30 - 3, then 3.30 - 6. Hoping for another good night now.


----------



## *ALF*

Carrie - just a couple of thoughts - on the dummy front I found with DD that we had to hold it in her mouth for the first few times, it took her a while to learn that it was a good thing and how to hold it in her mouth.
Has DH tried settling him at night - if you're holding him he will be able to smell you and your milk which may unsettle him. It may be worth DH persiting with the dummy for a few nights though..
Last nights sleep sounds very good though


----------



## juju81

Ahh carrie I didnt think u thought I was being cruel   

Noah was alot older than zac was. Even now, we only leave him for a few mins! Just seems longer at the time! He settled pretty well after feeds for nick and he slept quite well it as he's got older he fights it more!

Noah would never take an orthodontic dummy, a cherry teat had the better results! Not sure if that's what u have? Tommee tippee do cherry teats.  It's hard isn't it trying to sort things out......another reason I couldn't go back to newborn stage  


Noahs nearly 17 months   I bl00dy love him at the stage he is, he's walking and starting to say loads....mummy, Debbie, nanny, more, car, milk, toast, dirty, ball, cat......! I saw him running around the garden earlier and it made me go all warm inside because that's what I always dreamed about...him in the garden helping his daddy


----------



## carrie lou

Alf - DH seems to sleep through EVERYTHING!! Worth a try though, thanks. And we have tried holding the dummy in Zac's mouth but as soon as we let it go, out it comes  

Oh and we have tried 3 different kinds of dummy, cherry, orthodontic, the lot!

Noah sounds gorgeous Ju, must be a lovely age when they start talking!


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## amandaloo

Carrie- it's hard isn't it  . Well I've tried swaddling that really helped you have to keep one arm out though health visitor said ! Also another thing that helped was putting an item of my clothing in his Moses basket usually my top I'd worn that day . I just put it so it was tucked in the sides . That helped too . Noah always seems to cluster feed before bed in the evening. I also let him cry for 5 mins sometimes bit lOnger . He's slOwly started to settle himself ( not every time mind ) but he's getting better at it. Also play lullaby while I'm feeding him his last feed upstairs. You've mOst prob tried all this but thought I'd mention it . Xx

Ps what's wrong with the tickers it's wrong Noah is 5 weeks old today


----------



## juju81

carrie 

Amandaloo, those pics on ** are gorgeous


----------



## JanaH

Carrie - have you tried white noise. We've got the fan on in our bedroom, he started sleeping through from 4 weeks. I remember when he had a bit of colic, night times was the worst as he would cry non stop from 2-5 and DH would sleep through all of it. When I put Joseph down for his daytime naps I play a cd softly in his room.

Amanda how are you and Noah doing?

Juju its amazing how quickly they grow up, I can remember when you did treatment and now his almost 17 months old.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

AFM: finally all the family is gone and we can have some normality in our lives. Joseph is doing better then the week before, got him weight last week and he gained 300grams which is good considering he wasn't drinking. I'm still struggling to get him to drink a whole bottle per feed. I've started doing Slimming World, I need to lose at least 2stone, was overweight when we started treatment.


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

amanda the tickers always go like that after 4 weeks. They go into months and weeks. Why did the HV say leave 1 arm out    I never did! If you leave an arm out they soon learn to get out of it   

carrie - I reckon its the milk he can smell. put one of DHs tshirts on and like Ju said shush him and stroke head.


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## pinkcat

sorry I can't offer any advise on sleeping, I used to let Josh sleep in my arms all evening and then put him to bed when we went    we didn't develop a proper bedtime routine til he was 6/7 months and moved into the big cot in the nursery    He also would not take any type of dummy as much as I tried   

Took him for his MMR and boosters yesterday, omg it was awful, had a job keeping him still and he screamed and screamed   
He was very grumpy and restless last night and cried in the bath which is just not like him as he loves bathtime. I cracked open the calpol and gave him a dose and put him to bed. He was out like a light as soon as his head hit the mattress. He slept late this morning and I took his temp whick was a bit raised so gave him more calpol took his temp an hour later and was still slightly raised   .  He is supposed to have swimming lesson this afternoon but guess we better miss it today as he is just not himself   
He is still causing mischief and giving me cheeky grins though so can't be too bad


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## ceci.bee

Pinkcat just wanted to say temperature after vaccine is actually a good thing as it is his body making good antibodies for the infection against which he has been vaccinated. So unless he is cross he should be good to go with your outing today.
And your nurse/health visitor should have told you that calpol is good if they are grumpy/upset/in pain or have a very high fever, but it has been shown to reduce the antibodies that babies make when they are vaccinated- a message that is taking a long time to trickle down to mums!

Carrie I find Josh doesn't sleep with me unless he is full of food as he can smell milk on me and will try it on most of the time, although with DH he is much calmer and will only cry for food at night when he is actually hungry - he is much better at this now tho and I think that with time (I know it is hard when you have a crying baby you need to get to sleep) they do get much better. We use classic FM baby sleep time music in the evenings and it really helps him nod off............

Janah fab news Joseph is gaining weight - it is so hard when they are not eating what you think they should, but he is clearly getting enough   

Amanda sounds like you and Noah are doing really well

AFM am trying to do some work from home, so today for the first time had some help looking after Joshi so I could work - it was so hard handing him over to someone else even though I am in the house, but he has to get used to new people and it will be worse when I go back to work, but still it was hard    and along with everyone saying 'when are you weaning him' is making every moment he is a baby go so fast!
ltos of love to all
Ceci


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## speeder

Hey again Carrie - it's a tricky one with the feeding/sleeping link.  I was a bit naughty and did let DD fall asleep whilst feeding at night - it got her back to sleep again and although I knew I shouldn't do it, I didn't see the point of waking her up so she went back to sleep again IFKWIM.  However, that said, if she had just been fed, or I knew she definitely wasn't hungry/thirsty, I did try to resist feeding her to settle her as IMO it does mean they don't "learn" to settle themselves.  For me that did mean sometimes letting her get herself off but I can't remember what age she was - sorry! some babies just don't like dummies and some do - I think they make it clear.  DD was a "sucky" baby so the dummy for us was an easy option to get her off (but we're still stuck with it now at night - mmmm - need to break that one    - although health visitors say they protect against SIDS so I didn't feel too guilty).  xx

Pinkcat - sorry about the MMR - it's a horrible one isn't it?    Ceci - I think Health Visitors don't agree with the don't use Calpol advice - it's strange.  The hospital paediatrician said to me only to use it if necessary (as you say, their immune systems build up better without it) but the Health Visitor looked at me like I was an alien when I mentioned that! and when I once didn't give it when DD's temperature was raised with an ear infection as I wanted her immune system to fight it off the GP was very unimpressed.  sometimes I'm left scratching my head with all the conflicting advice   

Jana - I always think it's amusing that we all want our babies to pile on weight and we're desperate to shift it ourselves    Shame we can't do a weight transfer thing by osmosis.  I put on 2.5 stone in pregnancy which I know is a lot    but I was slim beforehand and I never actually shifted the last half stone - it's still there.  It did go if I stopped eating cakes but that wasn't very easy for me....  I'm sure you'll be more diligent that me! 

Amanda - why do we have to leave an arm out to swaddle?!  Is that a new thing?  I did remember reading they don't recommend swaddling any more - sigh - will they ever make their minds up and I don't even know if that is standard.  I swaddled DD like a little caterpillar - so sweet - but she hated it by a few weeks old    

AFM - back to work today after our hols.  The mice are BACK in our house - I'm FREAKING out about them!  I normally wouldn't mind them and would just lay a few traps but I'm horrified they are in my house at the moment when I have DD and am pregnant.  DH thinks I'm totally overreacting and we are fighting like mad (over tiny furry animals - who would think it   ) and I'm thinking of moving in with my mum for a few weeks (with DD) just to get a break from the stress of the flipping mice everywhere and DH who just tells me to stop moaning.  I've called Rentokil this time - I never kill any animals normally but these little critters have got to go    

speeder x


----------



## carrie lou

Ooh Speeder can't be much fun living with mice.  Do you have a cat? Because I think our little ginger moggy would sort them out in no time!

Jana the weight loss thing is difficult isn't it, especially when with such a tiny baby there just isn't time to do any exercise! I keep telling myself the weight will fall off eventually... Glad Joseph is doing well.  

Pinkcat sorry the MMR was so traumatic.   The advice on calpol is so confusing and conflicting. I was told the current advice is not to give any before jabs, and only give it after if they have a temp that isn't coming down through other means.

Amanda I swaddle Zac as I find it helps him stay asleep, but he usually gets both arms free by himself almost as soon as I put him down! Wonder why they don't recommend swaddling anymore  I thought it was a good thing for very young babies!

Ceci thanks for the reassurance  If Zac wakes within an hour or so of being fed I try to resist feeding him and settle him with other methods instead. Doesn't always work but worth a try  

Last night was pretty good - I put him down at 8, he woke at 9.30, 1 and 4 then slept until 6 again. He wouldn't normally wake at 9.30 but he had colic in the evening which meant he didn't have a big enough feed before I put him down, so woke up hungry an hour and a half later


----------



## northernmonkey

Carrie - have you tried a blankie for Zac?  We gave dd2 hers as soon as she was born and within a couple of months she would settle as soon as we put it in the pram with her.  The advantage with it is that she can't spit it out like a dummy so we never have to go in during the night to find it for her!  

Speeder - I wouldn't like the thought of mice in the house either.  We have rats in the garden at the mo thanks to next door's chickens and I'm bad enough with the thought of them running around outside...  When are Rentokil coming out??

Cupcake - I did ring Southampton and speak to one of the fertility nurses (Jane?? Can't remember her name now) My plan at the moment is to have hormone blood tests in September then go for consultation in November and start treatment early next year...  I feel a bit guilty towards dd2 because she'll finally get me to herself in September when dd1 goes to school and so I'm not sure whether it's selfish to then try for another baby    

Jana - we used to leave the vacuum cleaner on to get dd1 off to sleep.  Wonder whether that's why she freaked whenever it went on when she was older   

Ju - wish dd2 would start talking - she hardly says anything cos dd1 doesn't let her get a word in!!  the only things she says are hiya, gaga (which can mean dog, bird, cat, spider - any insect or animal in fact) mimmy (mummy) and eh!!!!! when demanding whatever she has just decided she wants! 

Right gotta go, dd is sat watching tv and I can't ignore the guilt any more - will have to get her off the sofa....

hi to everyone,


----------



## Mistletoe (Holly)

Swaddling thing - there is a good article on the FSIDS website about it.
It seems that to be protective you have to use thin material, not overheat and do it consistently from birth. Also never put on their front to sleep. The protective effect seems to be from bedding not being able to cover head and not being able to roll over from on back sleeping to more risky on side or front sleeping.

I guess the arm thing is to ensure they can have a bit of heat loss. Also there are thoughts that if you start swaddling after a few weeks, the baby will be less arousable from sleep than a baby that is familiar with swaddling. Which is good if you want to increase infant sleep, but in terms of SIDS it is bad because it is thought that it is an inability to wake up from sleep and deal with a cardiovascular/respiratory challenge that causes SIDS. 3 months is also the peak incidence of deaths, which might be because parents start trying new things to settle the baby, or taking more risks, or other people looking after the baby doing unsafe or new things. The arm thing might be so that they still have a startle reflex that will help to rouse them from sleep if there is a challenge to the system.

http://fsid.org.uk/document.doc?id=145

/links


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I was going to say give him a blankie. We used a muslin when we got rid of the dummy. He loves it now. It took a few weeks to grasp it but settles with it now. I wish I'd used it from birth, 

We swaddled from birth and he loved it. As soon as he seemed to be wriggling out of it we changed to a sleeping bag. We used a merino wool swaddle. It regulates the body temp.


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## carrie lou

I meant to say ladies, thank you ALL for your advice/tips/reassurance on this and lots of other topics   It's one of the reasons I love this thread so much, you are all fab


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## amandaloo

Carrie/ speeder - the health visitor said one arm out so he wouldn't overheat and ventilation Carrie the swaddled I did use was from tesco it has Velcro on and it's a summer one . He couldn't get out of it at all . 

Juju- thanks it must be a Noah thing the good looks I mean lol ! 

Jana- thanks for asking see my afm bit  . Bet you are relieved about family going . I've got 1 and half stone to loose . I researched on net and it says not advisable to diet straight away so haven't done yet !!!

Afm- health visitor came today Noah is now 10'6 he's really been growing and putting on weight he was 8'13 last time he was weighed so pretty chuffed . I'm still feeding him breastmilk usually expressed and formula alternate feeds . Hoping to continue breastfeeding for bit longer yet maybe month or two . I'm keeping busy getting out as much as possible ( depending on tiredness!) trying to get him in routine of 7 pm bedtime it wrks sometimes only took him half hour tonight to settle other nights can be a lot longer but 
Persevering with it as it gives me and dh some us time and hopefully will help him get a bedtime/ sleep
routine . Still struggle in middle of night at times with getting him back down to sleep which is tiring can take up to 2-2 and half hours   sometimes  . Upped his feed today after speaking to h/v so maybe that will help .


----------



## juju81

Ahh amanda, I really struggled getting Noah back off to sleep. Nick used to be able o wrap him up lovely and he'd go off, me? No chance, I spent 3 wks spent on the sofa between 2-5 am! 

At 3 wks he spent about 4 nights screaming in the evening, we swapped his milk to comfort and at that time nick used to rub his back whilst he laid on his lap, he'd nod off and thats when we realised he preferred to sleep on his tummy! Can't say the HV was impressed, would just say "you know what te guidelines are, I'll pretend I haven't seen" my doc said the same but if that's how he was more comfy then so be it. I can't sleep in any position other than my tummy and he still sleeps on his tummy. When he was nb he always turned his head so was never face down, he changed into a much happier baby after we realised this!

NM, thy say dont they that some second children are slower because siblings do it all for them, don't worry Hun, she'll pick up! Good luck with ur appointments xx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

NM how old is DD2? You need to change your ticker!


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## ceci.bee

NM don't worry too much about DD2 not catching up - research recently showed that second sibilings when they are a bit older actually develop faster than their older sibilings as they work hard to keep up with the first child and try to compete with them all the time, and therefore develop better social skills apparently    don't worry also about her if you are going for number 3 - she will manage fine if you have another baby I am sure they are amazingly adaptable   

Mini how are you getting on - when is your next scan?? soon methinks?? really hope it shows all is ok                

NVB how are is your pg?? I hope you are relieved by your scan and starting to enjoy it a little bit?  

Carrie I hope some of our suggestions have been helpful - I am sure Zach will get himself sleeping more in time and that some combo of all the advice helps! We also swaddled Joshi with a cotton swaddle, but he could wriggle out of it by about 6 weeks so we stopped after that - we were also told to leave his arms out for temperature control. He now loves his gro-bags and sleeps really well in them.We also were told to put a rolled up towel under the sheet in a horse shoe shape around his head and arms to give him comfort, and this really helps him feel comfy and secure so he can't thrash around too much without bumping up against it and he has slept well since we started doing that..............

amanda great news on Noah's weight gain - I was also told not to diet while BFing - as you need the food to make good milk, but it is tempting esp when the weight isn't shifting - I have decided to try to eat less cake and go for a walk every day, but otherwise to eat what I want and properly diet when he is weaned  - but it is tough looking in the mirror and seeing that post pg bulge not moving!

hi to everyone hope you are all ok
lotso f love
Ceci


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Well i got palmed off with a registrar     so i told them where to shove it!! I wanrted to see my con who i trust, I toild the registrar that my con will give me a scan , he said he probably won't   anyway i waited for the real con and then saw him. I told him the full story and he said he'd take me for a scan straight away   in the mean time i'd phoned DH and demanded he had to be there with me   then put the phone down on him when he said he couldn't get out of work   then as i was with the con he text to say he was on his way.............!! Whoops!   anyway i went for my scan and saw a lovely heartbeat!! I had to choke back tears   i would of cried if DH was there but didn't want to look like a prat   

I went back to the con and hes transferred me to another con who specialises in pg and detailed scanning. he said he just does suregery really. I'm fine with this as long as i get the con and not the reg and not my old con   he said i will get lots of scans   and a very detailed 20 week scan. He did say tho that the chromosomal thing doesn't look that bad looking at the report we have. And as we now have a   its looking more positive, i'm sure if there was something wrong i would of m/c by now, i know i;m not out of the woods yet but seeing as i m/c really early on twice before with his sperm then this is hopefully one of those strange miracles that you read about in Bella mag!!!   
Next appt is 8th sept!


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## teresal

mini -- yeahhh am so pleased for you honey    i had lots of scans with meredith (cos i was high risk & special baby?) it was lovely to see her grow each time but felt like i was never away from hospital and have become quite relaxed and comfortable in cons company   . try and relax now and enjoy your miracle baby.... wow 2 under 2's       i am predicting a wee girl this time, so lots of pink your way    

well i have just made a total prat of myself, DH got my pram and some other baby stuff down from the loft today cos i am giving them to a friend on sunday and as i was putting it all together i started crying, didn't think i would be like that, mind you i CANNOT give the baby bath away for some reason    

hope all are ok


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Ahhh    I'd be the same    I'd never let anyone use my pram, in fact i would never get rid of it    think i'll keep it forever in my loft! I cried when i sold the baby chair (bouncy chair) and play gym    its the only 2 items i felt funny about. The car seat made me sad too cos i remembered when we brought him home in it and how small he seemed!!


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## Fizzypop

Mini - fab news, you'll be going through all this gain soon enough. Its just meant to be. I keep thinking of that cliche - "it only takes one, lol!" Are you sharing your due date

Have been reading along learning all about routines ways to settle etc. Very useful advice ladies, keep it coming!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

29th March for now


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## sweetdreams73

So very sorry for lack of personals lots of    to you all, thinking of you all lots xxxxxx

AFM - just a quickie to say 32wk scan today not good news, both twins growth rate is decreasing as placenta is not functioning normally, had to have steriod injections in my bum today and back again for more tomorrow... (














the needle is even bigger than the gestone ones didnt think that was possible)...this is to try and mature the twins lungs.... then back again next wed for another scan and then consultant will decide whether he wants them delivered next week by csection or whether they want to try and keep them in for another week and then review it the following week and deliver them then!... feeling really really upset, scared and worried as our precious beanies will have be little fighters and be in "special care baby unit" at UCLH for weeks.... estimated weights are not good as twin 1 is only 3lb 1oz and twin 2 a tiny 2lb 11ozs.....(which are below the 5th percentile) trying to stay positive and



































that God will look after them!














. Consultant did say considering our high risk and complicated pregnancy with the twins having only one shared placenta I have done really well to actually get them to 32 weeks, although I still feel that some how I have failed them







and havent looked after them well enough as not been able to get them further along in weeks and much bigger!....









sweetdreamsxxxx


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

yopu have not failed them at all    you've kept them safe and warm. Big higs to you and DH and the twinnies


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## Fizzypop

SD - you have definitely not failed them. They are good weights and to get to 32 weeks is amazing (my sister in law popped her twins at 29 weeks after her waters broke at 27 weeks). Every single day that goes by makes them stronger and stronger. Keep us posted. As easy as it is for me to say - don't stress, focus on your amazing little miracles that will be here soon xx


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## sweetdreams73

Thanks lovely ladies for your messages your just so sweet, made me cry again now!!   xx


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## *ALF*

SD - repeat after me 'I have not failed my babies, I have not failed my babies, I have given them a safe place to grow and have done a great job to get them this far without any problems' Remember the weights are just estimates and sound quite good to me.  Keeping everything crossed for you and sending you and DH lots of


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## carrie lou

SD sorry your scan wasn't good news  As other ladies said, you haven't failed in any way, you have given your two little boys a warm, safe, healthy place to grow for the last 32 weeks and considering how high risk your pg is you've done amazingly well to get this far. Every day you keep them in there they are growing stronger and the steroid injection will be helping with that too. I know it must be impossible not to worry but I'm sure whatever happens your little ones (and you!) will be in the very best hands. Personally I totally agree with what you said about our journeys not being over, and of course you want to let the girls on the other thread know what's going on. Thinking of you and sending tons of


----------



## Lindz

SD- so sorry you didnt have better news today but you really have done so so well to get this far. I was always told that 32 weeks was a big milestone and they'll have had the benefit of the steroids too and don't forget that early twins do better then early singles. You're little boys will be little but perfect!you never know they might let you go a couple more weeks and then you'll be virtually there. I think you have to believe that you've done the most important bit and now every day is a bonus and getting them a little bit fatter!! P.s, I had the steroid injections too. My 2nd was in my leg and that hurt even more!  . As for posting on the other thread, I'm saying nothing either ...  

Mini- that's such great news. You are one of those amazing stories that I didn't know ever really happend. Enjoy xxx

AFM- still in need of sleep. DS still has a night feed. DD doesn't but is up from 5 and both wake a couple of times in-between seemingly just for fun, arggghhh! Apart from that we're good and had our first swimming lesson today which they both loved. Right, better take the opportunity of some sleep while I can. 
X


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Thanks lindz  

Oh god the night feeds


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

SD you will have your babies safe and well in the next couple of weeks - how exciting! - you have not failed them - there was nothing you could do to change it and you have done amazingly well to get to 32 weeks. At that age the lungs will be almost there, especially with the steroids. They might not need respiratory support for long - here is keeping fingers crossed     

Mighty - fantastic news


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## pinkcat

SD - I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you and your little ones      Like the others have said you have done so well for your boys to keep them in safe this long. Whenever they need to arrive they will get the best care.     

Mini- lovely that you heard the heartbeat


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## ceci.bee

Mini am so excited you got to hear the HB and agree that it is fab news you are so far along already when your previous MC have been so early - can't wait to read the interview in Bella mag with your miracle babies    that is really wonderful news and am so pleased DH could be there too. Sounds like you are in great hands with your team and TOTALLy agree with you about only seeing the cons rather than the trainee - the midwives at St Mary's antenatal always got a bit sniffy with me when I always asked to put my notes on the consultant pile rather than the registrar - but was always the right thing to do    when you have a high risk pg

Sweetdreams hun you are amazing, have been through a horrific journey and are about to meet your babies and become an incredible mum  . you could not have done more to look after your boys to get them to this point, now you just need to rest, eat well (the steroids will help wtih that I promise  ) and get as ready as you can for your next scan, including doing your last min shoppping!

Theresal I will also cry when I  sell/give away any of Joshi's things - I totally understand it being emotional      

AFM all fine here, Joshi is doing well with Patricia who is looking after him in the mornings and is just so cute and smiley  - he looked at himself in the mirror yesterday and was goggling and waving it was so cute  
lots of love to all
Ceci


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## Caz

I'm not going to repeat what I put in the other thread as you can read it here: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=261176.msg4600138#msg4600138

I am going to say that it's very bad manners to drag a disagreement/complaint from one thread into another and affect those who are not involved. Please drop the matter now and move on with supporting each other.

Caz
Site Management


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## juju81

Girls I'm going to go into hibernation for a while, I'll keep up with your gossip via mini!

Take care me heartys

xxxx


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## amandaloo

Don't go into hibernation :-(( 

Sweetdreams big hugs x


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## amandaloo

Cupcake - I had to book in with midwife at surgery they don't contact you ? Sorry could be getting wrong end of stick with your comment lol !


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## juju81

I got a letter with an appointment at 10wks for my booking in! They don't do it earlier here just incase   feeling sick is good  

I thought it best go before I got banned, Amanda can't even send me a pm so not sure if I've been blocked or not


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

Pmsl! You've been blocked


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

I've had my bOoking in but mine was urgent


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

no shes just naughty


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## carrie lou

Ah Ju don't go anywhere, we'll miss you!  

Cupcake feeling sick is horrible  but means little baby is growing nicely! For my booking appointment I had to make it myself, round here they like to do it nice and early so they get you booked in for 12 week scan in plenty of time. I think if you don't hear anything soon, you should maybe give them a call and chase it up.   

SD hope you are OK today  

Love to everyone else  

AFM - still struggling a bit with Z's sleep but working my way through the No Cry book, I guess there are no magic solutions and it's going to take time! Have to be patient


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## juju81

Inbox isn't full   do u think I'll get a detention? The cane?  

Mini ur just a special case. Full stop.  

And thanks girls, it's nice o know I'm wanted


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## speeder

Crivens busy day on the threads!  

Sweetdreams - you have done brilliantly. Remember when you first posted about your worries re the twins - I bet if you had known you would get to at least 32 weeks you would been so relieved. I think you should pat yourself on the back honey for looking after   so well - we girls are too hard on ourselves. I know the first few weeks will be hard  .  I totally agree with your sentiments re pregnancy - we can't relax until our babies are in our arms. It's less simple for us but our babies are so so precious and wanted. It was my first words to dd - "you are so so wanted" as I was overwhelmed with love and relief and gratitude and I still feel like that every day. Maybe all our struggles have an upside too? 

Ju - pls don't go as you make me chuckle and heck I need that! 

Carrie - it will get easier honey - it's exhausting. Could you express enough one night and let dh do the night feeds? I did that a couple of times as it's amazing how one nights sleep can help  

Cupcake - the sickness yuk! Keep eating is my advice, and lots of rest if you can. I still have it a bit at 22 weeks which is why I wonder if this little one is a boy. With dd the sickness was worse but away by 20 weeks? Any hunches as to your flavour? X

Love to everyone else x

Afm well no more mice for now. I am like Tom prowling for jerry every morning looking for the blighters. Feel less tired for the first time in weeks - but I am hardly blooming! Nite x


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## sweetdreams73

hello lovely ladies

Juju - dont you dare go anywhere hun    .... sending you huge huge      .... Cant believe I have caused so much trouble... WTF!!!!      .....Sorry!!!!  keep posting sweetie, love your posts...  !!! xxx

Mini - you are so funny hun     xxxx Thanks for your PM lots of     xxx

Speeder - thanks for you sweet message    ... thats so sweet what you said to your dd.. I believe what challenges we have to go through in life especially those around TX, pregnancy and giving birth etc make us very strong and very amazing mummies to our precious and SO loved babies.... Sure your looking blooming lovely!!!   xx

Carie - hope the feeding gets easier for you and hope you can express to give yourself some time to sleep and get DH to help out!!    

cupcake - ahh sorry about the sickness.... hope it doesnt continue long and you start feeling better really soon.... I had terrible MS up to 13 weeks with our boys and then felt amazing.... and great after that..... I did find that eating... little and often especially, ginger biscuits and drinking ginger ale really helped.... as the more hungry I was the more sick I felt.... I know its hard eating when you feel sick but it does relief it for a while...!!! hope it will be over soon... lots of    Strangely enough... I have just got MS symptoms back again   in the last couple of weeks....(30wks)  I have to get up again in the night (hence why I am sending this at 4.45 in the morning) to eat as feel so sick and then go back to bed again... then get up for breakfast feeling sick again.... think my twinnies are hungry but the flippin placenta is not doing its job   !!.....What we have to go through for our precious babies ahh...take care     

AFM - Thank you so so very much for all your very sweet messages and your support, you girls are the best and I am very sorry for any problems I have caused to anyone on this thread and the "other" one....     I am trying to keep it together   and try and be positive about it all now, I had my second lot of steriod injections yesterday afternoon at the hospital so hoping thats going to help to mature their lungs a bit.... also was allowed a tour of the intensive care and special care baby unit at our hsp UCLH in london... we are so so very lucky to be having our precious boys in this hospital as they are an amazing hsp and have one of the best NIC and SCBU units in the country... so our boys will be in the best place possible to get the best possible care... the staff were lovely and all the questions and worries I had have been resolved and even though it was heartbreaking to see all the "little" tiny tiny babies in icubators and with all those machines and tubes etc...     . I was filled with hope and confidence that the staff know just what they are doing and have great success in what they manage to do its all very humbling as the really do save babies lives and make miracles come true!!!  ..... We are back to hsp on Wed next week for scan so just      our boys are doing ok and that the consultant will make the right decision as to what is best for them about when to deliver them!!...

Lots of love and     

sweetdreamsxxxx


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## carrie lou

SD glad the tour of SCBU reassured you a little. I can imagine it must have been a bit scary but you are right, it's the best place for your twinnies and they will be so well cared for. Every week makes them a bit bigger and stronger so hopefully they won't even need SCBU for very long.     When I had MS I used to keep drinks and biscuits next to my bed so I didn't have to get up in the night. This might explain why I have just had to have a filling but hey I reckon that's the reason dentistry is free during pregnancy and after!  

Speeder I had terrible sickness all through (with only a slight lull in the 2nd trimester  ) and everyone told me I must therefore be having a girl!   Wrong!   Unfortunately Zac doesn't take the bottle well so not sure if expressing would work for night feeds - worth trying though, thanks.  

Cupcake, yes eat little and often, don't ever let your stomach get empty because then it's so much worse  and find things that help YOU - personally ginger never made me feel any better but marmite sandwiches were my saviour  Hope yours doesn't last too long  

Well Zac has just fallen asleep in my arms feeding, I know that's a bit naughty but I'm just so glad he is asleep and I know he is tired so I just let him. Am about to take him out in the pram so hope that keeps him asleep for a while  Last night I got him down by 7 and he slept until 9, DH and I actually sat and watched TV together for the first time since I don't know when! Unfortunately he was then awake from 9 until 11   but I feel we are making progress in baby steps.


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## speeder

Carrie - great you are making progress.  It does take them a time to get used to both the bottle and boob as it were!  There isn't any evidence they get "confused" and start preferring the bottle as long as you don't use a teat that is too fast so they become lazy suckers...    I recall Medela do quite a nice little bottle and teat that is good for espressed milk. (only thing was I could never use the expressing machines, could only ever hand express which took forever and spurted all over the kitchen, dog, DH hee hee) I did persevere with it with DD because I wanted to be able to leave her for a few hours.  Those couple of nights when I got more than 4 hours sleep I think saved my bacon but you have to do what is right for you.  you sound like an amazing mummy   don't feel guilty for letting Zac fall asleep on you - it's such a lovely thing when they do that and their little eyes shut   

SD - how wonderful you are in the best place in the country - very reassuring.  I don't think your placenta has done anything other than a fabulous job - three cheers for SD's placenta...!!!!  xx

Cupcake - ginger made me heave too.  I don't know why but anything tomatoey was OK for me - so tomato soup, spaghetti hoops and tomato with cheddar cheese. and grapefruit.  and bread.  that was it for me.  have you tried accupressure travel bands?  you can get them cheaply in boots xx


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## ceci.bee

sweetdreams am so pleased you are feeling a bit better and more positive - I echo the praise of your placenta - it has done an amazing job as have you!!! UCLH are amazing and they will take such good care of you - it is one of the v few hospitals in London where I would happily be treated   

Cupcake sorry about the MS - I had acupressure beads taped to my ears by my acupuncturist to press when I felt sick, along with sea bands and endless eating of salt and vinegar crisps my saviour (and cause of much weight gain I am sure  ) -the others are right I also found if I got hungry the sickness got worse so endlessly grazed - and mine went around 14 weeks. It is so variable but means you have a nice big HCG and strong pg so it is a good sign although doesn't feel like it   

Ju please don't go anywhere we will all laugh less without you........

Mini fab you are booked in, and on your way! when is your 12 week scan?? will you have another before that??

Carrie  - don't feel bad about letting zach fall asleep on you after feeding - if he is due a sleep then he is tired and milk will nod him off - I agree with you that waking them up after feeding to only then try to get them back to sleep again is   . I hope your walk helps keep him asleep today  

Speeder so pleased the mice have vanished for now - naughty blighters

lots of love to all
Ceci


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## teresal

Hi Ladies

just a quick update from Marge, she text me last night to say the scan went fine, all as it should be, unfortunately shes quite ill again so hasn't had the time or the energy to come on and post 

massive hugs Marge, it won't last forever and all worth it in the end honey, you are one of the unlucky ones that seems to get ill when pg, just remember the end result. give DS a hug from me and we will see you soon


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## carrie lou

Oh poor Marge, I know how yucky that feels.  But at least you know your little beanie is growing well. Rest up and take it easy honey, sending lots of


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## ceci.bee

Marge so pleased your scan was good thanks Teresal for posting! Sorry you are poorly and hope it passes soon


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## Fizzypop

Marge - sooo glad everything is growing nicely. Hoping everything settles down soon for you x


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## amandaloo

Marge- great news on the scan hope the sickness passes soon I know the feeling it's not nice 

Fizzypop- owwww not long for you how you feeling ? 

Sweetdreams-    hope you and your precious cargo are ok I'm keeping everything crossed for your next scan


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## Fizzypop

Amanda - I'm feeling good, I am being threatened with induction next week (going to see consultant tomorrow to confirm what's happening), so am of for acupuncture and reflexology today and tomorrow to try to get things moving! Bad timing in my part - we're supposed to br getting our new car tomorrow!

Other than that, am just tidying, tidying, tidying!!!


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## ♥ Mighty Mini ♥

cupcake - I was like you hun    hence lots of scans    but this time i am more relaxed even tho we know its more ofa risk for m/c than number 1    but i think i learnt to trust my body, my body knows what to do so i'm going with the flow. 
Youshould hear from your mw soon. on my first i think i saw her at 8 weeks, I would phone and tell them how anxious you are or speak to your doc to tell them you need to see a mw NOW!   

Try and relax and let your body grow your little muchkin


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## carrie lou

Cupcake try to relax honey. All the scans you have had have shown a really healthy normal beanie and going over bumps in the car or bending over too fast will not change that I promise. You have got to 9 weeks already and still feeling sick so I would say that is really really positive and reassuring that everything will be fine. I do know what you're going through, you just want to get to that 12 week scan and know that things are OK. No I don't think panic attacks will harm the baby either but for your own sanity, do try to relax and enjoy that holiday!    Hope you get the MW appointment soon.  and before you know it you will be into the 2nd trimester!


Fizzy wow not long at all for you! Hope things get going on their own for you, but if not don't worry, induction is not all that bad really!


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## ceci.bee

cupcake hun I feel your anxiety was there too so badly. But if babies were dislodged by bumps/bending/other basic activities then the human race would not survive! Have you thought about doing some acupuncture or other holistic remedy to help with your anxiety?? or just go for a pg woman massage and every time you feel panicky then take a deep breath and chant in your head 'the most likely outcome from this pregnancy is a healthy bouncing baby' - and visualise your baby. Also have you tried pg hypnotherapy? I used the maggie howell cd and it was fab, I did it twice a day when I was feeling anxious and it helped me sooooo much

good luck and big   
lots of love
Ceci


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## northernmonkey

Cupcake - I experienced the same feelings as you with both pregnancies and it's horrible.  I remember feeling asthough I wouldn't get through the 9 months without seriously losing my mind.  I'm sure every pregnant lady must feel anxious but I wonder whether we feel it more because it's taken so much to achieve our pregnancies that the thought of it being snatched away is unbearable.  I decided to just try to take one day at a time and I think that helped.  Also I kept telling myself that once I'd seen baby's heartbeat there was very little chance of anything going wrong.  I also think it's difficult in the early days because you almost can't believe you are actually carrying a baby - once you start to develop a bump it starts to become more real and you start to relax a little more.  Are there any pregnancy yoga classes in your area?  They teach you relaxation techniques so perhaps that would be helpful.  sorry I can't give you an instant solution to putting an end to the worrying but it will get better, honestly.


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## speeder

Cupcake - hello from your fellow anxious friend    I am not sure who wrote they felt like they were losing their sanity in pregnancy but it's exactly how I feel too.  I swear these last few weeks that I've felt like I'm losing the plot (which isn't a great idea as I have a horribly stressful job and DD to look after and a DH at the end of his tether.  I just sat and cried at the weekend and felt better    I am just so worried about my baby all the time)

Are you naturally anxious to begin with?  I'm a bit of a worrier anyway and I think for our "types" to go through tx just makes us way way worse....  Know that whatever you are feeling, or whatever you are worried about I can   guarantee   you aren't alone.  If you only knew what I have worried about it would at least reassure you there is a fellow crazy chick in the north of the country!!!!!!  

But the others are right - if that little beanie is meant to be then s/he will stick no matter what you do.  Paula Radcliffe ran through her pregnancies remember.  I panicked my way through my first pregnancy and DD is wonderful. Friends of mine have gone skiing, horseriding, you name it. Speed bumps don't even come into the picture. Also, if you have seen a heart beat by 8 weeks then the chance of m/c goes way down.  It's 6 - 8 weeks that is critical (as I know only too well unfortunately).  

I just worry you are going to not enjoy any of your pregnancy and also, it takes a huge toll on your marriage as most DHs don't really "get" the worry.    

All that helps me is (i) talking to someone else other than DH about my worries who you trust (I usually opt for sister or mum) (ii) doing relaxation as often as possible - this really helps (iii) gentle exercise like walking outside really clears your head (iv) sometimes you can get more perspective just by posting on this site - I am always hear to listen and can guarantee I will have worried about something similar!    I have about 5 worries right now and I ain't telling you any of them as you'll only adopt them as your own   

To be honest, it does get a bit better after the first 12 weeks but I ain't gonna lie - you will find other things to worry about - definitely stay off the internet and just stick to a couple of good pregnancy books. As I'm an anxious person by nature I usually run/swim/cycle/yoga/walk a lot and this burns off all my nervous energy (a lot of people who don't know me think I'm a very calm person heee heee that makes me laugh).  When I'm pregnant I don't exercise as much which makes me way worse - BUT I went for a swim on Saturday and I honestly felt more normal than I have in weeks. 

Sorry this is such a long and boring post but I hope somewhere in this I've at least helped a little bit - always here to listen   

speeder the nuttiest xx


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## speeder

Fizzy - huge apologies for not saying GOOD LUCK - can't believe it will be so soon.  Why are they inducing you early if you don't mind me asking?  Hope the accu and reflex does its job!  Get your feet up and sod the cleaning!!!!  It will be the last for a while (although it brings it all back to me - I remember the house never being so clean...)  xx


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## Fizzypop

Speeder - thats the bit I am confused about. They thought I might have Gestational Diabetes but that theory went out the window cos they do not test past 36 weeks, then they said it was because the baby was big, but that theory was disproved when I had my growth scan, turns out I am just fat, lol! (I have put on so much weight being pg it's scary). Then when we went to get the growth scan checked, the misuse came back and said to us in the waiting room "Alls fine, come back at 39 weeks, we'll give you an internal (presume artery and sweep) and book your induction..." we're going to see the consultant tomorrow ourselves to het some clarity as it does not seem to add up!


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

I am going to set up part 20 soon, so watch this space for a link.


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## Mistletoe (Holly)

New home ladies

http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=269585.new#new


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