# 43 and about to try ivf again - advice really welcome!!



## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi
I was hoping to be able to talk to a few of you that are of a similar age and attempting ivf.  I have a few years back done 4 cycles of ivf of which 3 were bfn and one was a success but I had a m/c.  Well I have tried to move on over the years but my dh and I have no finally decided to give it another go but I'm pretty scared as I am now 43. 

Is there anyone out there in a similar situation, or anyone that can tell me I am not wasting my time?   

thanks
Stardie


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## astra (Jan 20, 2008)

Hi Stardie

I am just about to begin my final IVF. I'm 43 and have had 3 fresh cycles and 2 frozen - 3 cycles BFN, one BFP but m/c and one successful pregnancy. I am willing to try one more time because there have been changes made to my protocol which may make all the difference, I hope. 
Statistically the odds seem to be against us but it only takes one good egg and I'm hoping it's there somewhere for both of us.
Have you looked into Reproductive Immunology and CGH? 

Best wishes 
astra x


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi there, havent looked into immunology yet but a friend has given me a lot of advice on it and has resulted in a bfp which is great.  I do think the odds are stacked up against me but we are prepared to give it everything...as long as my fsh is ok - havent been tested yet!!!
Very best of luck with your cycle!


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## Andante (Jan 26, 2009)

Stardie,

I too am the same age and am trying to move on from IVF but am finding the decision making process to be tortorious. I have had 3 cycles of ICSI and one FET all BFN but only one fresh cycle (long story) and have managed also to get to blasts. I live in Ireland and went to the ARGC in Feb and did really well and had 3 blasts transferred and IVIG etc., eventhough we weren't successful they said we should consider going again!!!! They advised us to do DNA fragmentation and I was hoping that it would be very abnormal but it's not......so it looks like it's my old eggs (sob, sob) I never felt old before.........

The possibility of this working is 5 %, I know it only takes one but it's a long shot. I don't want to have any regrets but when does one decide that enough is enough, as I have never understood an urge like this. I've read every book in an effort to move on, looked at everything rationally but still the pain remains. I now feel that this is quite similar to the grieving process but I feel I may prolong the agony by going again. We are also in the early stages of the adoption process and am speaking to lots of people that have adopted too, they all still say that eventhough they have their lovely children any of them who did IVF still say that it is so so difficult to reconcile not having your own genetic child.

Maybe it's one of those things that one has to learn to live with as with any grief. We have had no life for three years and we are only married four years!!!!! I am so tempted to go again but would only do it in the ARGC as I had very bad experiences with our clinic in Ireland. If we had a good result again this time and got another BFN would we still not be able to close the door. I met someone recently who has done 10 cycles.......and has a BFP.......now I think that I haven't tried hard enough.

Today I am travelling down to a mass for my friend who died last year at 42 and I think that life is for living. The thing about the IVF journey is that I have forgotten to acknowledge all that I do have in my life there is one thing that I don't have and it is colouring everything else. 

I hope I don't sound too negative!!!!! I am  normally a very positive and will always go the extra mile to get an answer.....but in this case you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I wish you all the very very best with your journey and if you decide to go again I hope that it is successful. 

Mozart


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi Mozart

I really wish you luck - it sounds like you've had a terrible time of it!  We did go down the adoption route but pulled out finally - it wasnt for us and there was quite a lot of drama along the way (long story). I am sending my application form off to the ARGC today so fingers crossed I still have a chance - bit worried I am going to be told there is no point - but then I would rather hear it from them than have to decide myself!!  Whole thing is a nightmare isnt it!!!

Stardie xx


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## K-M (Jun 8, 2010)

Sardie: have you considered donor eggs? There are a few threads on here which may be worth you reading?

Take care, K-M


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi K-M,

I hadnt considered donor eggs until very recently.  I need to see what the ARGC says next month really but will research in the meantime.  

Can you use donor eggs in the UK?  I dont know much about it at all.

Stardie


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## Rusty06 (Oct 25, 2007)

Hi Stardie

Just wanted to say that after lots of deliberating I opted for donor eggs and had 2 cycles here in the uk and as you can see from my signature I had success with my second cycle and I'm now pregnant.

Lots of people also travel abroad for donor egg treatment as the waiting lists in the UK for a donor can be quite long. It wasn't an option for us as I did not want an anomynous donor which is the only option in most countrys abroad. In the Uk all donors are registered and can be traced by the child when they are 18 years old. 

I had treatment at CRM in London where the wait is currently about 9 months. Theres loads of info on the donor boards if you want more info.  

Good luck with your treatment.

Love Rusty


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## mfmcmoo (Jul 16, 2010)

You also may want to check out things like acupuncture and DHEA to improve your chances. Good Luck!


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

to be honest time isnt really on my side so not sure I would want to wait for donor eggs...obviously will wait and see what the consultant says.

I have tried acupuncture before - was successful with a pg the second time but m/c at 9-10 weeks.  Also did acupuncture for 3 and 4 but not successful so not sure I want to go that route again.

thanks everyone for your help

stardie


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## Vaudelin (Jul 5, 2009)

Just wanted to say that the Bridge has a waiting list of only 6 months for donor eggs but I don't have any experience of them - my gynae works there (she is the Director as well) and it came up in conversation last week when I had a consultation with her.  I think she said the cost was £8,000 (yikes). 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

xxxx


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

my previous cycles were with the Bridge and I dont really want to go back there to be honest!  Ho hum it's all soo expensive!  Thanks though

Stardie


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## Vaudelin (Jul 5, 2009)

Have you considered the ARGC for one last go with your own eggs?  They do immunes as well.  Not cheap but are considered one of the best.  We could only afford one try at ICSI so threw everything at it!  I think a cycle there with immune treatment would probably set you back about £10-12,000.  They monitor you very closely (sometimes bloods twice a day when stimming) and that is why they get such good results. 

xxxx


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi there, yes I actually have an appointment with the ARCG in a week  - figured it would be the best place for my last attempt and we are prepared to throw everything at it!  Just hope they are honest enough with me if I am wasting my time....!  A good friend of mine has just had a successful cycle there too which has boosted me!!

Just noticed you have thyroid issues too...me too!  I have an underractive thryroid which doesnt help anything!!

What stage are you at now?  Are you going to try again?


stardie
x


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## Vaudelin (Jul 5, 2009)

Hi Stardie

The ARGC will be very honest with you.  I did not respond very well (only two eggs) so at my follow up they said our chance of success if we tried again was only 3%.  So really there isn't much point in us having ICSI again and we have been told we have a better chance conceiving naturally!

Yes I am borderline underactive thyroid just to throw something else into the mix!  Have you had yours checked recently?  I have been told it is important that your TSH is between 1-2 if you are trying to conceive.  I have only very recently been put on a low dose of Thyroxine (apart from when I was stimming) so I am hoping this will help things as well.  Are you on medication?  The ARGC will look at absolutely everything that is going on with you and are very thorough.  It does seem quite a chaotic clinic at first because they are so busy but I found them to be excellent during my treatment.  The nurses and all the staff are really nice.  I do wish you the very best of luck - you are in good hands.

xx


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi there vaudelin

I am on lifetime thyroxine but have just had it all changed as I only took t4 now I take t4 and t3 so feeling much much better.  Good to hear they are so honest because I think if they tell me my chances are so low, I will have to finally give up and accept it but I need someone to tell me - pretty much why we are going to try for one last time.  

Unfortunately, in past cycles, I havent responded greatly to menopur and was on a massive dose....

Good luck with ttc naturally!!!

stardie x


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## Vaudelin (Jul 5, 2009)

Hi Stardie

What do you consider a "massive dose"?  I was on 450 Fostimon or Merinol (sp?).  I think the ARGC prefers these two drugs and it varies between the two.  I was unfortunate because the month of my treatment only one ovary decided to respond but I have since found out that both ovaries do work so I guess it was just bad luck and that is why I only had 3 follicles and 2 eggs.  It will be interesting to see what they say - please keep us posted.  

Thanks for the good wishes. 

xxxx


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi, I cant actually remember (it was 3 years ago yikes) but I think it was about 900 a day - hideous - very swollen ovies!!!  I will keep you posted though, thanks.

stardie xx


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## reb363 (Mar 1, 2009)

Hi Stardie
I don't think you're wasting your time.  I'm 41, soon to be 42, and I've had 7 tx and 1 mmc.  I only got one follicle on my last round after being pumped with every drug under the sun.  I was given a tiny % of success and the consultant felt he had to make it really clear as he never wanted me to think he was just taking my money - equally he said he'd go for it if I wanted to.  I did and today I'm 8 weeks pregnant.
Good luck 
Reb x


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Oh wow Reb363 - that's fantastic news congratulations!!!  Really good to hear and it's spurred me on no end!!

Stardie xx


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## reb363 (Mar 1, 2009)

Go for it      - I've got everything crossed for you.


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## Vaudelin (Jul 5, 2009)

Fantastic reb363 many congratulations!  Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.  Gives us all hope xxxx


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## rospop (Jan 20, 2006)

Just reading your posts ladies, huge congrats Reb!!!!! 

It's so difficult isn't it to know what to do for the best and it certainly fels as though you're missing out on life to a certain extent whilst you're on the IVF roller coaster.

I'm in the very fortunate position of having a lovely little boy who we conceived on our 3rd round of IVF.

Tried several more times  for a sibling and after our 'last ever' attempt last year decided that was it. However, I can't get it out of my head that I want to go again and find myself coming back to the boards more and more.

I'm not a great responder to the highest dose of Menopur, however the 1 /2 eggs that we do get are always excellent quality - they just don't stick!

Couple of questions, where's the ARGC and in terms of immunology is this something that could potentially help with 'sticking' issues?

Sorry to but in on your board, and for the 'me' post, good luck to all of you.

Bec xxx


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## VEC (May 29, 2007)

Just wanted to jump on quickly to wish luck for you going to the fab argc. They are great.

Hope it won't be necessary for you, but having made the decision to go for donor eggs, I never regretted it and have the most beautiful son.  You may wish to look at a few foreign clinics, for which there are threads on here.  Reprofit in Czecho, IM in Barcelona and serum in Athens are a few starting points.  You pay more, you wait a lot less.  Some don't really have waiting lists.  And they cost less generally than the uk.  

Anyway, hope all this is irrelevant, good luck to all.

Yay reb!

X


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## daisy66 (Jul 12, 2009)

Hi 
hope you don't mind me joining in here. 
Have only had one cycle resulting in a BFN, would love to know exactly what went wrong but don't suppose I ever will. 
I responded well to the stimms, they collected 16 eggs, had 3 embies transferred. I also have underactive thyroid, have been trying to get it down to the recommended level but it suddenly flies up at the wrong time. It was down to 2.8 and went up to 5.6 just as I started tx. Thyroxine takes a while to take effect as well, so maybe that was an issue why my embies did not stay with me. 
I only found out yesterday, so have spent all day today searching the net for the next step. I am thinking that donor eggs may be the answer; the embryologist explained that older eggs may start off well but seem as if they run out of batteries and slow down sometimes. We cannot afford many more attempts, having just spent 11k on one go at the ARGC, who are great btw, but do not deal with donor eggs. I did have immune tx there though, as this may be an issue with sticking, esp when you have thyroid issues.
I know I can't really feel sorry for myself when so many girls have lots of cycles, but i just hoped....
Congratulations Reb - well done you! 
Good luck to everyone 
re the donor egg issue - there are some positive stories on a post 'donor eggs over 45'


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## clotted cream (Jan 8, 2007)

Stardie - I'm just slightly younger than you.  I had  3 x ICSI which were all BFN and then had a few months break, but decided I didn't want to give up on our "dream" and we had 1 more go when I was 42.  The result is fast asleep on my knee at the moment (I gave birth to her after I was 43)  It had been suggested that I could go down the donor egg route, but I really wanted to give my eggs "one last try"

I also responded badly to menopur - only used it on my 2nd cycle, had to take it for a couple more days than planned to get folicules to right size.  Then 8 eggs collected, but 4 didn't fertilise and 4 abnormal fertilisation, so we didn't even get to ET on that cycle.  For me, I responded much better to Gonal F - which I took for 1st, 3rd and 4th cycles.  1st cycle was a bit of trial and error with the doses, but the other cycles using it went exactly as planned.

I also had accupuncture during 2nd and 3rd cycles but didn't feel it was of any benefit, and didn't have it for my final cycle, which was my lucky cycle.


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi clotted cream - thanks for your post.  My appt at the argc is today so hopefully all will go well.  I did have some good news recently that my FSH is a good low level and I am still prodcuing eggs etc .... (was a bit scared I was perimenopausal)!  Will post again later and let you know how I got on. I've only heard good things about the ARGC and that they are very thorough! Good to hear it worked for you!!!
Stardie


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## Stardie (Sep 26, 2006)

Hi Vaudelin

Sorry its taken me so long to reply. Yes I am on medication and have been for about 20 years and will be forever !!  

We finally had our appointment at the ARGC the other week and am just waiting for AF to show her head so that I can start having my cycle monitored.  Funnily enough when we were there I did tell my husband I had been told how chaotic it was...and it certainly was!  

Stardie x


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## Vaudelin (Jul 5, 2009)

Brings back happy memories!  Oh the madness of it all.  Good luck xxxx


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