# Articles in papers and magazines on single women ttc



## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

Well, I just got my subscription copy of Red (April's edition delivered on the 1st March!!  I guess they can keep selling copies for 2 months that way without it's looking out of date!).  It's got an article about single women conceiving by donor sperm and from a quick skip through looks very positive.  The first lady that is featured got lucky first time on an unmedicated IUI at nearly 39 (keep the faith Laura and Dottie!!).

Felix xx


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## dottiep (Nov 20, 2007)

Oooh...thank Felix.  I'll have a look for that in the hairdressers tomorrow...

Dx


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Thankx Felix

I'll get it later x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Thanks Felix I went to the shop but Red but it was March!!! anyway I like the magazine will have to get the April Ed next week
L x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I also got Eve (April) and there is a bit in there about sperm donors and the website.
L x


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## kylecat (Oct 18, 2007)

Hi girls - thought I'd have a relaxing afternoon so just bought two papers - the times and the mirror (for the gossip!). Funnily enough The Daily Mirror has a very interesting article about a 34 year old single woman who conceived her son after her second attempt at donor IUI at the LWC. (pages 30/31)

It is a very positive and interesting article - thought some of you might fancy reading it!

Love katiexxx


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## tillie (Apr 9, 2005)

If I do go down the IVF/IUI using a donor then thats what I will tell people.  Some people wont approve I guess but I'd be proud and to me it shows just how much the child is wanted


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Me too Tillie...I've spent a lot of time thinking this through, it's not a rash decision, and although I know some people will be critical, it's not really their business. I try not to judge anyone else's choices and decisions, and I would hope that they would return the courtesy. When it comes to colleagues, close ones I will tell when I announce the pregnancy (see the positive thinking there with the 'when'!) - they all know I am single and I'd rather they knew it was a carefully planned decision rather than an accident/one night stand. More distant colleagues/people at work, I won't volunteer the information, but if they ask, I'll be completely honest with them. 

I have a feeling I'm going to need a pretty thick skin at times, but at the end of the day it's my life not theirs, and I have the right to make my own decisions....hope that doesn't come across as too militant (I'm quite nice really  ) but I do feel really strongly about this....

Ju - when they said they thought you were mad, was that mainly re bringing up two children on your own? Or mad because of the way you are planning to conceive? Either way people should think before they speak, but I guess sometimes people have their own motives for these sorts of comments - eg perhaps they only have one child and are jealous you are planning a second, or they have two and find it hard to cope, so want you to find it hard too....you know what I mean... My sister is pregnant with her third, happily married and coping very well with 2 little ones, but people still think they can tell her she's crazy to have planned to end up with 3 kids under 5...like it has anything to do with them. I think you just have to stay strong, not react to people's thoughtless comments, and remember at the end of the day it's your choice and your happiness that matters. 

I've already decided that if I encounter any really negative reactions from friends, I'll start to withdraw from those people - I don't need the negativity. Fortunately I've been really lucky so far and everyone has been super supportive....

Katie - will see if that Mirror article is on the website - too cold and wet to go and buy a paper now!

Have a good evening all...
Laura
x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Katie - just read the Mirror article. If I had a criticism it's that she made it all sound a bit too easy. She was very lucky to get pregnant on 2nd IUI (perhaps because she is only 34...) - and only spend £2,500 of her savings... I think if we calculated the stats just on this single womens board, there would be a pretty slim chance of it working 2nd time round - most of us have had several IUIs and are headed for IVF.....

But maybe I'm just bitter and twisted because it didn't work 1st or 2nd time for me 

Laura
x


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

I've read two articles about single women ttc this weekend - one of which made my blood boil ! 

The first article was in 'Healthy' magazine May/June issue (only sold in Holland and Barrett shops).  It was the first in a series of articles written by a woman who has a donor conceived daughter.  The first article was about her first treatment(IUI)/clinic experience.

The second (blood boiling) article was in the Sunday Times Style magazine (you can read it online if you're interested - it's called 'Settle for less in love').  It is written by Lori Gottlieb a 40 year old single mother of a donor conceived baby boy.  In the article she encourages single women in their 30s who want a family to forget about love and romance and just settle for someone and marry them.  She says that it is better to feel alone in a marriage than to actually be alone!!!  I don't know why she thinks she is an expert on the benefits of a loveless marriage.  She even says if the marriage doesn't work out at least you have someone to contribute child maintenance and take the child off you hands while you enjoy your social life.  Grrr!!

Some1

xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

some1 - I read that Lori G article too - just what we don't need...

Not strictly paper/magazine related but I've just been watching an episode of the Baby Race on Sky 3 - I know lots of you saw this when it originally aired but I didn't and just happened to catch it this eve. Have ended up quite depressed as the only women of the 4 featured tonight to end up with a baby was the one who met someone and got pregnant really quickly afterwards....why doesn't that happen to me? (other than the obvious fact that I never go out/date!)

Does anyone know if the rest of the series was more positive and uplifting? Otherwise I might give it a miss....not helping in my already stressed out 2WW state...!!

Laura
x


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## winky77 (Nov 27, 2007)

Hi Laura....just spotted you're on line so whizzing a BIG HELLO....Congrats on IVF milestone ....and answer to Baby Race ??.......phew! 

I have all 3 or 4 progs on vid from when originally aired...the one you've watched is the most depressing .....the others are mixed......UK adoption story v depressing.....but China adoption uplifting....and some positive IUI/IVF of older,more diverse individual scenarios.....including disabled gay woman who every professional discouraged.  I still watch it every so often to inspire me......reckon the current FF SMC group could be a good set of case studies for an update programme....maybe we should contact Channel 4......now there's a topic for the weekend!! 
look 4ward to seeing you!! xx Di


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

ooh, I'm glad some of the other episodes were more positive - I just felt it was kind of a shame that a program about single women having babies ends up with the only one actually getting a baby being the one who 'met someone'....

still, we have our very own Lou and Kimberley (and Suzie soon...) to give us hope that it can happen - just got to keep positive....

Looking forward to catching up at the weekend!
Laura
x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

Damn, missed it again. I like 'Waking the Dead' on BBC1 so I tend to watch that.....had forgotten Baby Race was on. Did anyone record it? 
Did any of them actually get babies at the end of it Rose? I found it a bit depressing last week because the only one to get pregnant did it the traditional way with her new found partner...

Laura
x


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Oooh - thanks Rose. I'll have a look for that xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

Just surfing the net at my parents house while I wait for my little angel to wake up from her nap (can't believe she is actually napping! why doesn't she do this at home!) and spotted an article in the Daily Mail that might be interesting reading :

'Irresponsible, selfish, or the best decision of my life? One woman explains her decision to have a baby by artificial insemination

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1250627/Playwright-Zoe-Lewis-explains-decision-baby-artificial-insemination.html#ixzz0fQUjNT54

It is a shame that the writer suggests her situation is down to her being too career focussed to have a baby with Mr Right. Especially when she goes on to say that she found Mr Right and was planning to start a family with him when he suddenly left her for another woman.

I have had a read of the comments at the bottom of the article and there seems to be quite a bit of support for women in this situation (along with a sprinkling of condemnation too!)

Some1
xx

/links


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

thanks for that someone, was interesting.
xx


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## Mifi (Sep 27, 2008)

Thanks for that Some1   It was an interesting read  


A comment I do have is yet again luckily for this lady it was a relatively easy ride (why doesn't the media ever cover the harder journeys most women experience   ) This lady hasn't had to experience anything like the heartache many of us have had, not to mention the shear stamina and endless money pit that most of us have had to find    Maybe I just have pangs of jelousy    but so far I am yet to read an article where the lady has been through hell and back to get her dream - it just doesn't seem real to me  

Not sure what other people think   anyway I will     it now

Big    to all

Love FM XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

totally agree FM...apart from it happening the 1st time, I thought the article was good!

if only it was that easy!

xx


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## sweet1 (Oct 5, 2008)

Thanks Some 1, that was very interesting indeed.

I must say, it was very surprising and refreshing not to have the journalist shot down in flames, seeing as it was a Daily Mail article, I thought it was fairly balanced.


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I read it in the hairdressers and really think it is good that it is raising awareness but they make it all sound so easy and so automatic that you will get pregnant once you have made the decision!
L x


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## Lou-Ann (Apr 20, 2008)

Good article, would be great if we all experienced success after just one round of tx  

Lou-Ann x


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

Yeah, thanks for posting the link Some1. 

It was a good article, but agree that it was all a little too easy. I googled the clinic that she went to and they do clomid for five days followed by gonal f for about three days, then the trigger and basting. They quote 20-25% sucess for IUI with donor sperm which is quite high.

bingbong x


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## Jammy J (Sep 28, 2009)

BB - can you remember the name of the clinic, wouldnt mind a read up on it, manythx JAH x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Dr Maigaard at a clinic in Aarhus in Denamrk, the full article is in Some1's first posting on the thread.
Good Luck
L x


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## Jammy J (Sep 28, 2009)

Hi, was really after the name of the clinic, does anyone have this?
Many thx


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## OneStepAtATime (Sep 14, 2008)

http://www.uk.maigaard.dana14.dk/11_welcome.htm

This looks like her one (see link above)
OS

/links


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## Jammy J (Sep 28, 2009)

Many thx OS! Will have a good read x


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## sweet1 (Oct 5, 2008)

...looks like a really nice clinic actually...!


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## Felix42 (Oct 14, 2007)

Hello there, just to let everyone know that the weekend section of today's Times is a special issue on 'Extreme Motherhood' !
Despite the title it looks quite interesting with articles about single mothers adopting overseas, older mothers, those using sperm donors. Worth a look anyway. 

Love & hugs, Felix xx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Thanks felix will pop to newsagent after hairdressers l x


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

This months Marie Claire magazine has an article about sperm donors (The world's most popular sperm donors).  It has photographs of 2 donors from Cryos (one of whom says he wants to remain anonymous, so not quite sure why he posed for the photo  ) and also covers ESB as well as a UK networking site called co-parentmatch.com which links people up with potential donors.  

Yesterday's Sunday Times headline was about the Bridge Centre, London linking up with a US clinic (Genetics and IVF Institute) for Egg donor IVF (allowing British women to access US donors & having treatment in the US).  They are promoting this by conducting a raffle for one woman to receive £13,000 worth of treatment.  To enter the draw you have to attend a seminar about it.  This seems in pretty poor taste to me, but fantastic for the person who wins so could be worth entering if you are thinking about donor egg treatment 

Some1

xx

/links

xx


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

Some1 I also read about the raffle, there is a seminar at The Bridge on Wednesday and you need to go to that to be in the raffle. Don't know if there are any spaces left. Apparently the egg donors are all young and well educated. If you smoke or are overweight you're out. It would be illegal in the UK to recruit donors with these specifications, one article I read about it said that it was as close to designer baby as you can get. Anyway, if you won the egg I don't suppose you'd care much  

bingbong x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I heard something on LBC about the Bridge raffle - but didn't the Lister have a free IVF cycle recently.

some1- which months MC is it- I get so confused when they print them month ahead of time!!

L x


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

JJ1 - it is the April Edition with Diane Kruger on the cover

some1

xx


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## Want-a-baby (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi Some1,

My name is Adriana, 42 yo, and I've been seriously thinking about using donor sperm from Cryos. So, I couldn't believe it when I read on your post that two of their donors had been photographed ...!!!! As I'm not in the UK, would it be possible for you to post those two pictures (or e-mail, if you prefer)? Thank you so much for that. Wow, I can´t wait to see those pictures...!!! Best xxxx Adriana



some1 said:


> This months Marie Claire magazine has an article about sperm donors (The world's most popular sperm donors). It has photographs of 2 donors from Cryos (one of whom says he wants to remain anonymous, so not quite sure why he posed for the photo ) and also covers ESB as well as a UK networking site called co-parentmatch.com which links people up with potential donors.
> 
> Yesterday's Sunday Times headline was about the Bridge Centre, London linking up with a US clinic (Genetics and IVF Institute) for Egg donor IVF (allowing British women to access US donors & having treatment in the US). They are promoting this by conducting a raffle for one woman to receive £13,000 worth of treatment. To enter the draw you have to attend a seminar about it. This seems in pretty poor taste to me, but fantastic for the person who wins so could be worth entering if you are thinking about donor egg treatment
> 
> ...


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## Want-a-baby (Apr 23, 2010)

some1 said:


> This months Marie Claire magazine has an article about sperm donors (The world's most popular sperm donors). It has photographs of 2 donors from Cryos (one of whom says he wants to remain anonymous, so not quite sure why he posed for the photo ) and also covers ESB as well as a UK networking site called co-parentmatch.com which links people up with potential donors.
> 
> Yesterday's Sunday Times headline was about the Bridge Centre, London linking up with a US clinic (Genetics and IVF Institute) for Egg donor IVF (allowing British women to access US donors & having treatment in the US). They are promoting this by conducting a raffle for one woman to receive £13,000 worth of treatment. To enter the draw you have to attend a seminar about it. This seems in pretty poor taste to me, but fantastic for the person who wins so could be worth entering if you are thinking about donor egg treatment
> 
> ...


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

The Times has an article in the weekend section today with a sperm donor talking about why he donates and the shortage of donors, a single woman who did AI with sperm from a known donor and a same sex couple who used donor sperm through a clinic. There's also a link to this website http://alternativefamilies.co.uk/i/ which seems to be aimed mainly at same sex couples but I haven't had a good look.

bingbong x

/links


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## cocochanel1 (Oct 15, 2009)

BB thanks - I have the times today - which is the 'weekend' section?
xxx


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## bingbong (Dec 9, 2008)

ooops, sorry Coco. I read it today but it was actually in Saturday's weekend section.

bb x


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## cocochanel1 (Oct 15, 2009)

Ok thanks BB xxx


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## some1 (May 13, 2006)

Just reviving this very old thread to flag up the following article from the DM 

It is news to me (and probably most of you!) but apparently 1 in 5 PCTs is now offering IVF to single women on the NHS !?!?!?!

'One in five health authorities is now offering single women free fertility treatment on the NHS while married couples in other areas are made to pay.
Women who are not in a relationship can have a £3,000 course of IVF treatment at 24 out of 135 primary care trusts that responded to a survey.'
Full article here - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2052694/IVF-Single-women-3k-fertility-treatment-free-couples-forced-pay.html

Some1

xx

/links


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Some1, not sure I understand why I always feel the need to read the comments of DM readers under these articles...but I take a vicious delight in voting against the ones who clearly live on another planet.   


A-Mx


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## silverbird (Aug 8, 2011)

Surely when it's offered on the NHS it's only where there is proven fertility problems?


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## Matilda7 (Feb 22, 2011)

I'm pretty sure that's the case, Silverbird.  But why would the Daily Mail let that little fact get in the way of a good story combining some of their favourite issues - IVF, single mothers and "women leaving it too late because of their careers!!!"


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## indekiwi (Dec 23, 2008)

Some random thoughts:

There are plenty of examples on these threads of women who simply didn't know they had fertility problems until they started tx. Many single women start from the basis that it is simply a lack of sperm that's at issue.

Personally, I wouldn't mind quite so much if it was a level playing field - either everyone should be entitled to [one] free cycle of tx, or no one should. There is discrimination against women in couples as well - often there is an age 40 cut off, and there are also the PCTs that will not provide tx to women where either she or her partner have a child from a previous relationship - regardless of who has custody of the child. 

Come to think of it, I wonder if viagra can only be prescribed to married men? 

A-Mx


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## elinor (Jul 4, 2008)

Just goes to show you shouldn't expect too much reason or truth from the Daily Mail - I would take anything printed in it with a big pinch of salt.

I agreed (clinic asked when my little one was a couple of months old) to be interviewed/ do some publicity - mainly with the aim of raising profile/ issue of need for donors in the UK. A mainly positive article appeared in the Daily Record (I am in Scotland), and the same journo sold one similar to the DM. I was not keen on doing it, but they basically said as I'd done the interview for the Record, the information was in the public domain, so they could do it with or without my cooperation..... Needless to say, the Daily Mail version focused more on the NHS funding for my initial DI cycles (with no scans, just blood monitoring, and no progesterone support, so it was never going to work for me....). I paid for sperm, and paid for all the IVFs and IUIs I later had...  Both articles made a whole lot more of the 'single mother' aspect than the donor eggs and sperm. There had been a recent case of someone taking her PCT to judicial review (or whatever the correct legal process is) and getting a ruling that single women should not be discriminated against as single women (fine to discriminate against everyone equally and say no over 40s, or under 35s etc...). I also did an interview/ phone -in on Radio Scotland the same week. That was odd - I didn't look up the websites for the papers to read comments, since I know what some people would say and I didn't need to hear them say it about me. It was a bit more upsetting than I had expected to have others phoning in and saying they thought my decision to have a baby as a single mum was wrong, but again, the whole focus was on the single mum aspect. (as my niece says: 'SOOO last century!')

Radio Scotland had another phone in last week, talking about donation, following the HFEA increase to egg donor remuneration to £750. They got in touch again, and I took part, but a much smaller part.... And again, there were the folk who know nothing about it ('no clinics should be allowed to do IVF whilst there are any children in care' - great idea, IF those wanting babies would make good parents for the children currently in care, and if that's what they want to do....). Hope it makes a few people think about donation. The person on the show from the National Gamete Donation Trust said that since the HFEA announcement they had had a huge increase in contacts... I don't think many women would actually be motivated by the money (many don't even claim it), and certainly it is a bit more likely to cover women's costs if they have any distance to travel to clinics. Hope it raises the profile a bit - it makes it all a bit more 'normal' for children growing up as donor conceived that there are others out there, that it is talked about openly etc.


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## Rose39 (Dec 9, 2007)

Elinor, thanks so much for posting your experiences. I actually live in one of the PCT areas that is supposed to treat single women, and it may be that the rules have changed recently, but when I asked only for my drugs to be paid for after 3 failed IVF cycles in 2009 (I was paying for the IVF myself) I was given a definite no from my GP who was 100% sure that the PCT wouldn't pay for it because I was/ am single. 

I would love to know what phrase the researcher used when they asked about single women receiving funding for IVF as it could have influenced how the PCTs responded?

I'd also be interested in knowing how many of the posters who commented on the articles either have any experience of infertility at all, or personally know any single women who have become single mums by choice. It's easy to judge people when you've never walked in their shoes....

Rose xx


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## DZWSingleMumma (Nov 18, 2010)

HI all,

I read the articles and like others my PCT definately doesn't treat single women.  I've been self funded on ALL fertility options since the beginning with the exception of a blood test on the NHS.  I do believe it should be either everyone is funded or no one is funded but that is my opinion not based on experience.

I try NOT to read the comments by people on the mail or telegraph site as it just proves to me that the average intelligence of the general public is quite low.   I think that most people just give opinion based on prejudice and not really ever have experienced what infertility is like.

Thank God for places like FF where we can lean on others for support.

Dawn


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## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

inde=my gps opionion was i should be treated the same as everyone else so she referred me to consultant when id been ttc for year or so- they then flattly refused to fund becasue I am single= mind you i also have a friend who is married who has been told they will only fund her for donor eggs as her amh is low despite the fact shes 37 and had a misscarriage earlier in the year. The system is not fair for anyone.


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## silverbird (Aug 8, 2011)

Also depends how they define single.  I recon most single women could actually be women in unmarried couples.


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## kizzi79 (Jan 9, 2009)

Nice story in 'Hello' about Kristin Davis who has recently adopted a baby girl (whilst single) - nice to see a really positive story.

Krissi x


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