# Confussed about how to start off the process



## sheena 1M (Oct 4, 2006)

Ladies

Thanks for allyour help so far.  Im getting confussed.  If it's illegal to advertise for surrogate mother angel, even on the Surrogacy UK site for example, then how do I get to find out who is available?  None of my relatons is suitable - one is too young (17!) or older than 40  or already hard coping with 4 kids (lucky sister).

Am I missing something basic?

Sheena xx


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## **Tashja** (Jan 13, 2005)

Hi hun 

There are a couple of ways of getting started and each way depends on whether you are thinking about joining COTS or SUK. 

With COTS you join them and pay your fees, fill in the paperwork, etc and then they keep your reords on file.  These are then sent out to any sutable surrogates and it is then down to the surrogate whether or not they want to work with you or another couple.  When I chose my first COTS couple I was sent 3 sets of details and picked a couple from these sets.

Very rarly would you get to meet the couple or speak to the couple before you have chosen them - you might have seen them around on the COTS boards.  

With SUK things are differant in the sense that you attend get togethers and meet lots and lots of couples and you get to know people - once you have got to know people surrogates and IPs can make a decision based on their experiences of the other party.  

I attended a SUK get together and met a wonderful couple there - we met tere for the first time and after that we eamiled, chatted on MSN and telephoned regularly and even though I knew I really wanted to help this couple I held off asking them until I knew they were the "ones".  Unfortunately the couple I picked have realised surrogacy isn't for them and have sadly split-up in the process but a friendship was built and I still speak to them both. 

I do not think you need to be a member of SUK to go to the get togethers so it might be worth registering for their message board and having a look at attending a get together in your area.  If anything it will give you a good in-sight to what surrogacy involves as they have some excellent workshops at the get togethers and you will be able to meet people in a similer situation to yourselves. 

I hope this helps.  Please feel free to PM me or post here with any further questions.

T xx


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## sheena 1M (Oct 4, 2006)

ah thanks T and ive seen your other post too so you'll know I just got a BFP today - but very very earlydays.  Your surrogacy post gave me so much hope.

Sheena xx


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