# im shattered



## angel_lass (Sep 10, 2008)

Hi I am looking for some advice please. So our daughter moved in 8 weeks ago and as you can imagine it's been full on since she arrived. She has bonded well with us but more so me as we are together all day when DH is at work. She is three years old and was removed at birth, due to red tape etc its taken this long to allow her to be considered for adoption. We have become really quite close but she has this weird imagination that I cannot get on board with...so here is the problem she was in the bath and I was putting towels away and she said mummy I'm scared of you?! WTF? I cried for about an hour why did she say this and should I tell my sw when he visits on Friday? DH said I've to ignore it but how can I. She moved on quickly after saying it as I never reacted about how there was a cat in the bath and a hair stuck to her leg and other rubbish. Any advice please?


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## panorama (Feb 7, 2005)

Hi, I would probably take as a one off for now, kids say the craziest things. She does not really sound like she is scared of you, believe me my son comes up with things like this too.


If she says it again then perhaps just ask her calmly why she has said it, and see what she says. 


You're doing a great job by the sounds of things and yes parenting is exhausting work, much more than we expect!


Xx


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## MummyPhinie (Oct 27, 2013)

I would see it as a one off for now. My eldest two say the stupidest of things when trying to articulate themselves, agree with panorama about discussing it if mentioned it again. Has bath time been ok before? Are your towels going in a dark cupboard, is there a scary situation that they worry about instead of meaning you? It may also be how they were prepped, if sw and FC used words like feeling  scary, or worried when talking about moving on, may be as a result of that. Mine said to me once she was worrying about me? On further discussion little dot meant worrying about meeting us, then followed immediately with a ' I always wished for a new mummy!
As your LO was removed at birth I doubt you will be dealing with trauma triggers, but often they find something scary but can't get out accurately what they feel. Having said that I can be scary mummy, kids laugh afterwards when I have my "scary face" on, when I'm very cross about something I.e kid running into danger or they being horrible to each other!
Don't worry too much, it feels worse when it's all new and your feeling vulnerable still at this stage. It will only help your relationship if you discuss her feelings, or give her opportunity to if she wants. We developed quite early on talking about if you worried come to mummy to have cuddles and chats.


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