# Using my deceased husband's sperm



## Rach_Honey (Oct 2, 2012)

I hope I am posting this in the right section, I did a search of the site but this topic doesn’t seem to be covered. 

My name is Rachel and I’m 26 years old. I was with my husband, Chris, for 5 years. About 2 years ago, he got very poorly with testicular cancer – before he started chemotherapy, we had the option to freeze his sperm in case he had infertility issues at a later stage in life after the chemo. 

So we did this, got 3 samples before they had to start treatment. The last couple of years have been awful, treatment after treatment, raising our hopes then dashing them again. Chris died from the cancer in March this year. 

About 2 months ago, I visited my GP to ask where I go from here – I wanted to get as much information as I could about starting IVF, and hopefully having Chris’ child. A lot of people are saying this is too soon, but I think only I know whether it is or not.

I’ve had all the fertility investigations, and all is normal so far. Chris’ sperm is not great quality, but they did a thaw test on some and it survived, so I will be having ICSI treatment with that. 

I have an appt at the Fertility Clinic in December, to get more info from them and to talk to them about what drugs I will need to take and when, I think they have a view to starting all this next year. 

So… I guess I am a single woman starting my IVF journey!


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## smc81 (Oct 26, 2011)

Hi Rachel
I just wanted to say good luck with everything. I think you must be an incredibly strong person, given that you lost your husband such a short time ago. But I think as long as you feel ready then go for it. Thus journey of trying to conceive alone can be so hard and emotionally draining but the fact that each of us has made this decision means that we are strong enough to do it. This forum can be a godsend so use it as much as you can. I don't think many of us have real life friends who can relate to our situations, so to have ff is a real support.

I wish you all the luck in the world
Sarah xxx


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## silverbird (Aug 8, 2011)

Good luck Rachel!

PM me if you want to talk defintly know the ups and downs of chemo and widowhood!

I hope it all goes smoothly for you, good luck!


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## pollita (Feb 23, 2011)

So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, Rachel, but you are not alone in this journey! You are right that only you know whether this choice is right for you or not - can you imagine ever regretting it? I don't think so!

Good luck on your journey x


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

so very sorry to hear of your loss   
wishing you the best on your journey to motherhood, we're all here to support you through tx so keep in touch,
Suitcase
x


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## lulumead (May 29, 2008)

Hello Rachel     for your loss.
Am already crossing fingers for you    and looking forward to sharing your journey.


Sending you lots of luck,
xx


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## Betty-Boo (Oct 14, 2007)

Rachel      sorry to read of the loss of your beloved husband.  You are totally right - only you will know if the time is right.  
All the best with your journey.


Take care


Tis xxx


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Good luck Rachel.

Fwiw - why wait if you feel ready? There are no set times for these things. What could be more understandable than wanting his baby asap? I would too.

GOOD LUCK xxxxxx


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

Just wanted to wish you lots of luck on your journey x


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## morrigan (Dec 8, 2009)

Welcome Rachel and good luck.  Sorry to hear about your loss but well done you for doing so positive I hope the path to motherhood is a smooth one from here on in


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## Rach_Honey (Oct 2, 2012)

Thankyou all so much for taking the time to reply - brought a tear to my eye! 
I will keep you all updated on what happens in December  

Just after Chris died, i lost a bit of weight naturally (stress and grief), then i got to thinking about using the sperm we had stored. After looking on the net, i discovered i would have to have a BMI of under 30 for them to accept me for treatment. 
So altogether, i have lost 4 and a half stone in the last 6 months - my BMI is finally 30! Now the lady from the IVF clinic has said she would like my BMI to be about 27-28 when she see's me in Dec. I hate dieting lol! But i will do what it takes, only another stone or so i guess xx


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## pollita (Feb 23, 2011)

WOW, you are an inspiration, firstly for dealing with your grief and retaining your focus (such a hard thing to do, I know) but also the sheer determination of losing so much weight! Well done you


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## Marra (Nov 30, 2010)

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband Rachel     

You will get loads of help and advice for your fertility journey here so keep posting and ask anything you like. Good luck with making the first steps along the way.

Marra
xxx


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## greatgazza (May 27, 2010)

So sorry to hear of your loss Rachel   

Sounds like you are one strong and determined lady, so do what is right for you, as you say, only you can know how you feel and when is the right time.

Keep posting on here, let us know how you're doing and lean on us for support.

All the best.

GGxx


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## natclare (May 27, 2011)

Dear Rachel,

So very sad to read all you have been through with Chris. I wish you all the luck in the world in December and, as others have said, the support group here is fantastic so do keep posting!

xxx


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## marie123 (May 2, 2011)

I wish you all the luck in the world and will be watching this post in December! 

lots of babydust


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## Rach_Honey (Oct 2, 2012)

Hi ladies, just to keep you all updated… I had my appointment yesterday at the Fertility Clinic. 

I lost another stone in time for the appointment so they are happy with my weight (I had a KFC to celebrate last night lol  ). 

They said the next step is to ring them on the first day of my next period after Xmas, they will then send out the Gonapeptyl for my down regulation.

Then it’s the usual process – stimulation drugs (Menopur), lots of scans, blood tests etc. I will be having ICSI treatment for definite.

I’m suddenly very nervous… Nervous about telling my boss at work (all of our jobs are redundant and we are having to re-apply for the roles, taking a team of 8 down to 3! So not the best time to be telling her I will be needing time off next year), nervous about the drugs (menopausal symptoms for weeks, then all the injections and pessaries!?!), nervous that it might actually happen and then nervous that it wont work! 

I know it’s natural to be nervous, and I will probably be even more so when it all actually starts! xx


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## Mr &amp; Mrs Bubble (Oct 19, 2011)

Rachel - Quite frankly you sound amazing, what a testiment your strength and focus are to the love you already have for your future baby  All the ladies here so desperately deserve their dream come true but I'm sure all of us will shed extra luck and fairydust for you in our individual ways be it prayers or well wishes and support.

Your post really has me stuck for words (and as a gobby mare thats very unusual   ) 

I know from personal experience this place is a fabulous home of support possitivity and the kind of friends to be made that can be treasured for a life time. 

I wish you every happiness and sucess in creating the life you so deeply desire xxxxx


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## marie123 (May 2, 2011)

All i can say is that i wish you all the luck in the world (again), you deserve this, as for work do they really need to know? you could always just have a "confidential" reason to visit the dr! I hope you have good friends around you


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## Rach_Honey (Oct 2, 2012)

Thankyou for your kind words ladies xx


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## suitcase of dreams (Oct 7, 2007)

wishing you the very best of luck Rachel


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## Damelottie (Jul 26, 2005)

Good luck Rachel xxx


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