# What now?



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

This is our 5th fresh & 1 frozen trying for number 2. My OTD is on Monday, but I did a HPT yesterday and it was a BFN. 
Now I have the horrible wait for my period, knowing it's all over. Again. 
I just don't know what to do. This is the second Dr, the first told us to give up. 
Surely we have to give up. Just can't bear the thought of it.


----------



## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Sienna you may just have tested too early huni. You need to be at least 14 days past egg collection or 9 days past 5 day transfer or 11 days past 3 day transfer to get a definitive result. Also frostiness are notoriously slow at implanting. Keep the faith and stay away from the POAS until Monday huni. Good luck


----------



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

Thank you, but I just feel it's over. All of my AF symptoms. I did another first response this morning, so 3 days before test. Still negative.


----------



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

It's all over again. I feel so lost and completely hopeless.


----------



## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Sienna in so sorry huni. Take time to grieve cry, scream do whatever it takes to get you through. You're a strong woman, only strong people can go through this journey. You will carry on, it will get easier. I'm sending you big hugs x


----------



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

Thank you. The Dr said we can't do anymore, this is the 2nd Dr to tell us this. They just don't think it'll ever work. 
I just don't know how I'll get over never having another baby, or giving my daughter a sibling. 
Of course it makes me feel incredibly thankful for our miracle daughter but I just so wanted her to have a sibling.


----------



## patbaz (May 21, 2010)

Sweetheart you never know. Miracles do happen x


----------



## hogmeister (Jan 14, 2008)

So sorry you are having to go through this rather than the relief and elation a BFP would have given you. Why do the doctors think it isn't working? At 38 you seem relatively young in ivf terms for them to be so negative. Hope this doesn't offend you for me to mention this but if they are sure it is age/egg quality then you could consider egg donation. I moved straight to ED after a mmc rather than even try OE (clinic didn't talk me into it, they thought I would conceive naturally) and have no regrets whatsoever as my motivation was to have another child and for my DS to have a sibling, a genetic link to me was not hugely important. If my husband would have entertained adoption then I would have done that. Apologies if this is no help to you or something you have thought about and ruled out, it wasn't something I even knew about until a friend I very rarely see told me her sister in law had used an egg donor but sometimes it's random conversations that affect your destiny. x


----------



## Pretzell (Oct 7, 2015)

Hi Sienna, I just wanted to drop by to give you a  . I have just had another BFN so I can completely relate to how soul-destroying this journey can be. 

I would echo Hogmeister's comments though, at 38 it seems relatively young to give up on OE. 

Which clinic are you with (if you don't mind me asking)? 

xx


----------



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

So so sorry to hear that Pretzell, such sad and devastating news.  Sending you lots of hugs  

I have severe endo, which has been removed twice, plus I have abnormal killer cells - so they think implantation is a problem for us too, so no guarantee an egg donor would work either. 

My eggs have always been a problem, took 4 cycles for my DD and I only ever had 1 fertilise each time. In 10 cycles, I have had 1 frozen left over, but amazingly this time, I have 2 frozen.  But again, they don't hold any hope and last time it didn't defrost. as the eggs are such bad quality, they don't survive. 

So hence 2 Dr's have now given up on us, they feel 6 cycles for a second child is too many and feel I have to give up. Emotionally, financially we can't go on either. I feel I have to enjoy my miracle DD and try and accept the fact that she won't have a sibling. I am also so sad I won't have another baby, but again appreciate what a complete miracle she really is.

Just so hard accepting and trying to move on.  When do you stop being upset at seeing pregnant women and seeing friends kids playing with their siblings?


----------



## Babygood (Jul 17, 2015)

Ladies - I can totally relate to how you all feel.  Secondary infertility is a hard one to get the head round.  
I had my child in my early 20's - came off the pill one month and pregnant the next, the relationship broke down and a few years later I met my now DH - who is fab and treats my child as his own.  For various reasons we took our time buying a house, wedding etc before trying for a baby (my DH has no biological children), me stupidly taking it all for granted that falling pregnant would be no problem...... How wrong could I be

Long story short & several hundreds of pounds lighter - I have 3 large fibroids and down to only one FT so we are on our first cycle of IVF......

The emotional burden of this is huge as you all know- hearing people say "well think yourself lucky as you have one child already" and I count my blessings every day. But nothing can prepare for feeling that your body has totally let you down- I am lucky as my DH is very supportive. But I would be lying if I said I didn't feel guilty about the whole thing & also that my child won't experience the joy of having a sibling. 
Just trying to stay positive & hope that the very clever doctors & embryologists will help us achieve our dream 😀


----------



## Sienna77 (Jan 6, 2011)

BabyGood, so sorry to hear you have been through such a tough time too.  We were the same, took our time to start trying and didn't appreciate how long it would all take.  We have been trying for a baby pretty much our entire 7 year marriage, except when I was pregnant! 
I am hoping it will happen for you both and IVF will be the answer for you. Wishing you lots and lots of luck with your cycle
xx


----------



## Babygood (Jul 17, 2015)

Thanks Sienna, it's a real lonely journey at times but being able to chat on here makes a difference.  I hope everything works out for you xxx


----------

