# Settling into nursery



## Norma12 (Jan 23, 2012)

Hi,

Just after some advice, LO is 2 & 4 months & is struggling with settling into nursery. He was ok to start with on the settling in sessions but as they got longer hes realised he's away from mummy. The nursery have done a photo book so we can remind him of pictures/people when at home but he just gets so upset on drop off & before, asking if mummy will come back. Its so hard but I kept getting told its normal & not just for adopted children. Hes doing 2 days but we've only managed 2 mornings so far. The nursery have suggested cganging days to be consecutive to see if that helps......
Any tips?


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## Roxbury1 (Nov 22, 2013)

My daughter isn't adopted but found starting nursery very traumatic nonetheless. She started at 13mths and used to get hysterical at drop off. It was painful to do but we decided to literally almost throw her at her key worker and run away as long goodbyes got her so worked up, probably in part feeding off our nerves! We got a welcome pack with a photo of her key worker in which we stuck on the fridge and used to point to regularly and use her name a lot to familiarise her, and used to signpost nursery the day before by talking about how maybe 'Kelly' would play in the sand pit with her tomorrow / do painting etc so she had positive ideas in advance. It's a horrible process but mine settled within a month doing 2 days a week, fingers crossed yours feels more comfortable there soon xx


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## Tictoc (Aug 20, 2015)

norma - unfortunately this is an age when they are very aware of separation and your little one will have had more than most already. My AD started nursery at 2 after a year at home with us and I think we had about a month of her screaming when we left - honestly I chickened out and got my husband to drop her off as much as I could. I can honestly tell you though it did pass. She did 3 days a week, 2days together and then a separate day.

Have also been through this with my 2 youngest. Luckily they were together and managed it a bit better but it was heartbreaking and I questioned my decisions then too. Unfortunately I need to work so we had no choice. They both now love nursery


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## Norma12 (Jan 23, 2012)

Thanks both.
We seem to be making some progress as he talks alot about it, trying to reassure himself. Saying things like “mummy always comes back”, “i’ll have fun at nursery”, “i’ll have a lovely day”, “i’ll  do a picture for mummy”, “i’ll listen for the doorbell when mummy is here to get me”. 
It really pulls on those heart strings. 
Today we had no tears from either of them on drop off. So i’ll be interested to see how their day has gone later on today. 
Meanwhile, its like having a work-out for me trying to get all the housework & jobs done while they’re out.


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## cosmopolitan4112008 (Oct 18, 2013)

Some tips:
1.Always drop him off and pick him up at the same time.
2. Tell the staff there what makes him calm.perhaps a bit of cuddling while singing nursery rhymes to him.
3.dont let him see you apprehensive when at the nursery, but cheerful because it will reflect on him.
4. Make bye bye greeting short saying you will cometo pick him up later.
5. At home, speak about his friends and teachers from the nursery.

I hope he settles soon!


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