# Fed up with UK clinic even though I have UK donor -going abroad!



## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Dear Ladies

I have already had 2 cycles of DE overseas, BFN & 2nd M/C 
I have been lucky enough to find a UK donor, who has chatted to me on the phone, and is quite friendly. MY donor lives about half an hours drive from my clinic and I live around an hour and  a half from my donor and clinic. When I contacted my clinic to let them know I had  a donor, they were very unfriendly and not very enthusiastic and said i should go elsewhere as my donor didnt live in the area. I was keen to stick with the clinic I have been treated at so I dindt have to go through all the screeining etc again, and I pointed out the my clinic that half an hours drive really wasnt far when I have to drive an hour and  a half!
The donation co ordainator was very unfriendly and tried to put me off by saying that it would take around 3 or 4 months to get my donor screened and then we would have to have councilling which would take further time.. I pointed out that this was a  long amount of time, when I was a paying customer, and that they should try to at least speed things through as I am an older mum and time is not on my side, the co ordinator then got all stroppy and rude, and was not help full at all.
I ignored her surly attitude and sent her an e-amail pointing out that she was aproviding a service and it was her duty to do things to the best of her ability when the customer ( me ) was going to be paying nearly £5000 for DE tretament.
She seemed to get the message and booked my donor for her frist appointment. 
The donor who I dont know, then contacted me and said she couldnt easily get to the clininc and needed a lift. Bearing in mind I live over an hour and  a half from both her and the clinic i agreed to drive to her house and pick her up and drop her off at the clinic, wait for her and take her home. I felt slightly weird about the whole thing as meeting my donor wasnt something i had considered. I was supposed to ring her the day before and get her address and arrange timing etc. When the day came to ring, I could not get hold of her and after waiting until 11pm the night before to try to contact her leaving voice mail messages  about when I was due to pick her up, I gave up and assumed she had changed her mind.
She ring me the next morning saying she had misplaced her phone. and could I pick her up- it was all too late I couldnt get her to the clinic in time and the appointment was missed.
The whole thing has abeen a bit stressfull, and not pleasant. I am saupposaed to be re-booking her appointments, but the clininc now cant fit her in until August, putting everyting back even further- (I found the donor in April.)
The donor still wants me to ferry her around, and the clinic staff are atill slightly surly towards me.
To be honest, I applaud the donor for her giving spirit, but I am totally put off by the whole circumstances,and length of time I have been waiting to start screeining for the donor let alone the actual treatment commencing- its been 4 months alreaady!  and I have booked in to Create in harley st. to have DE in Cyprus, no fuss, not stress no running around no surly staff, and the cost is exsactly the same as my clininc up north, and treatment starts as soon as you have a match which is as litle as 2 weeks- to 1 month!
My clinic is the same one that refused to treat my first donor because I found her on www.conceptiondirect.com even after they had confirmataion that it was ok from ****
Do you thing I am right? to dump my UK donor and clinic and go abraod? I havent burned my bridges with either the clinic or donor yet, if I do what shall i say??

Fed up Karen x


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## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

hiya karen!

Could you find another clinic in the uk?  I can highly recommend my clinic for speed of appointments (if you chivvy them along!).  They don't seem very busy at the moment....... MFS in Manchester, is that anywhere near you?  Also, could you pay for a taxi for your donor in future rather than picking her up?  In the grand scheme of things it's not much money and it might make things a bit easier?

As for the overseas clinic, it really is a decision that only you can make.  The up side is that you can have tx quickly which is great, especially if you are concerned about your age (not being nasty, just remember you mentioning that you were concerned in another post!).  On the downside, your donor will be anonymous and this may be more difficult for the child to deal with in the future.  I guess you need to weigh this up against the extra couple of months that tx in the uk would take?

I can sympathise with the constant waiting - it's by far the worst part of fertility tx as far as I'm concerned!
P xx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hi pippy!

Thanks for the response, yes I know what you are saying......but Ive now made my mind up- Cyprus it is...... the whole situation I was in with the clinic and donor over here made me feel bad, I feel much happier now I have made the decision to go abroad. You can choose the donor you want,and look at the details in Cyprus, Im not 100% if you are allowed to trace the donor, I will find out, but now I have mad ethe decision, I feels much better.
hows things going with you?
Im going to the UK clinic to sort out donor details next week

Karen x


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## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

Oh wow, great news! When do you think you'll ba able to have tx then?  I wish you the best of luck sweetheart xxx

Things are fine with me, still waiting to start again should be good to go in a couple of weeks.

Keep us posted!

P xx


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## Lyzbeth (Feb 7, 2008)

Hi Karen,

I'm really sorry to hear about the problems with your UK clinic, last time we spoke it was all looking so positive, you did so well to find two potential donor and for them to be so negative about everything is just wrong. Anyway I think you have made the right decision in going elsewhere, this is stressfull enough without all the added hassle for your clinic.

Good luck in Cyprus hun

Beth
xxx


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## lily17 (Sep 25, 2008)

Hiya Pippy and beth

Im now all booked in for DE treatment abroad! I feel much better about this treatment, Im going with Create on Harley St, to their partner clinic in Cyprus, the clinic is in Nicosia on the south side of Cyprus. It wont be until Sept/Oct as the clinic is closed for August, but I feel happier about it.

How things with you?

Karen x


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## pippilongstockings (Dec 8, 2005)

September is just round the corner - my cousin is getting married at start of september and it felt like ages away but it's less than 7 weeks!!!

All fine with us, just waiting for AF in a couple of weeks and we can try again.  Fingers crossed it works this time, I'm so sick of this rollercoaster.

Beth - i see you're in the middle of a cycle of ivf?  Best of luck with it, when do you think EC will be?

Pippi xx


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## Lyzbeth (Feb 7, 2008)

Hi Karen, so glad you are feeling positive now you've decided what to do. Will you be staying for a while in Cyprus for your treatment? We are looking to go to Greece for DEIVF in October if this round of IVF isn't successful and I think they have said that we would only need to be there for 3 days!

Hi Pippi, I'm due to have egg collection next Monday or Tuesday, I was scanned this week and have 6 follicles of 7mm or more and a few tiny ones, so they are leaving them a few more days to see if the small ones can catch up before doing the collection.

Take care

Beth
xxx


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