# What should I do???



## Cassie78 (May 26, 2013)

I asked this yesterday then deleted it.  we are in a link due to go to matching panel in January but foster carers are wanting a special guardianship.  Now is it wrong to pursue other children Please understand I wouldn't normally do it his but I'm not confident the link will go forward.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

The child's sw and your sw will look on it very badly I'm afraid. It would say to them that you're not prepared to fight for "your" child and that this child is not "the one" if another one will do.  I would say you need to see this through to a conclusion, what if there's no way a sgo would be granted, there would then be a child back to square one with finding a family.


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

I agree with what Becs said.  Our situation wasn't the same as yours but earlier in the year we were linked with a little pink who later had a potentially life limiting health condition, awaiting confirmation.  We decided to hang on until there was information one way or the other before withdrawing the link even though as time went on it was less and less likely to happen.  It was hard.


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## Cassie78 (May 26, 2013)

Thanks for replying guys.  I know your both right I just find it hard in nowhere land doing nothing. I've being told SW are not supporting the special guardianship. I was so looking forward to decorating his room over xmas but not now.  Since meeting his foster carer who he's being with for nearly 3 years I feel guilty almost as he doesn't want to leave her. 
Living hope - how long did you wait?


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## liveinhope (Jan 8, 2008)

we were linked in January and going to April Panel.  Possible medical problem identified March and we waited 3 months until June when docs said it would need at least another 6 months monitoring before they could decide on a diagnosis.  That was when we withdrew.  we were told we'd have to have a 3 month wait before we could pursue any other links but 3 weeks after we withdrew, they approached us about our now daughter who is perfect!  If we'd not already had our son we might have waited even longer but it wasn't fair to keep him in limbo.


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## Cassie78 (May 26, 2013)

At least it worked out in the end for you.  We've being told as child has being with foster carer nearly 3 years she can legally apply for a SGO which takes three months for an outcome. I don't know if I can go through that when it's likely she would win.


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## Cassie78 (May 26, 2013)

You know what I'm gonna fight for him. I've being crying to my poor DH every day even when he's at work. That I considered applying for other children was a way of protecting myself but I'm gonna be brave


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Fortune favours the brave Vader!  
We had numerous delays after linking with our lo to the point our sw said we SHOULD consider other children but we carried on fighting. He came home just over a year ago now and is more than we could ever ha e dreamed of. Hang on in there because the rewards are unquantifiable!


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## Cassie78 (May 26, 2013)

Becs I do hope so.  Well I've not even cried this morning yet and feel loads more positive today.  I do know we can't get any answers till new year now as SW are all off.
Merry Christmas everyone xxxxx


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