# La says no



## Diane71 (Mar 9, 2013)

Hi 

Just wondering if anyone has been told no with la then another one says yes. 

We have been told no by 2 la the first one we done prep then didn't take our enq any further, now the second one has contacted the first one and says no as well !!! 

Do we leave it maybe 6 months and try a diff la ? 
And in the mean time I was thinking bout doing some volunteer work with children up to age 5/6 through the children first company to get some experience ? 

I'm getting thd feeling that once u apply with one la then it's going to be no if applying with another la or va ?


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## DRocks (Sep 13, 2013)

why are they saying no?


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## Nearly There (May 20, 2014)

Yes, why are they saying no? They should let you know so that you can work on any issues/ reasons they have disclosed. 

When I was first looking for a LA/VA  and making enquiries I received a no because they had 'closed' their books due to high demand. However I notice that you have reached pretty far in the process so they should offer an explanation for not taking you further.  Unfortunately when you go to any other LA they will check with your original LA and if the situation is the same you will likely receive further no's. 

Getting further child care experience is always an excellent idea and will also help pass time whilst you figured out the reason for the no's you are receiving. 

Best of luck.


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Hi Diane,
With the second agency did you tell them at the time of applying what had happened with the first agency and why they wouldn't proceed or did you just apply to them?


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

my understanding is that when applying to a LA, they always ask if you have applied before elsewhere, they then contact them. It all depends why they are saying no, I would say don't give up, but its hard to give advice when we don't know the facts

Its also national adoption week so lots of campaigns taking place at the moment, can you contact a few other VA / LA and ask what their criteria is? also look on line as some LA have a very wide catchment area


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## Diane71 (Mar 9, 2013)

Hi ladies 
Thankyou for all ur comments! 

Ok basically my partner forgot that he got s fine 19 years ago for having a hammer shaft on his car, he got stopped by police for a random check, it came back on his disclosure 

I had a shoplifting fine 2011 it was a silly thing to do and I have never done anything like in my life before I was going through IVF and I explained all that 
So they feel that we have withheld information from them !! 

They also felt that we had to take time out from IVF/adoption and spend time together !! Our last IVF was 2012 

But we want a child aged 0-5 I'm 43 just now my partner is 45 so it has to be now 

We told the second la everything up front as we know they r big on honesty but they spoke with the first la and have said no for simular reasons !! 

So we have nowhere to go from here


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Hi Diane   sorry to hear that.

Can you try a VA? Maybe they might be more understanding. Especially when you are so upfront about it. 
Maybe the LAs have enough adopters so aren't interested if there are even any slightest issues.

I hope you are given a chance again 
Wishing you very best of luck
GG xxxxx


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## Diane71 (Mar 9, 2013)

I tried barnardos they did give us some hope 

But again came back as no !! 

It fells they say no and then ur left to pick up the pieces


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## GERTIE179 (Apr 20, 2005)

Hi Diane,

I don't wish to offend but from reading your posts I'd be inclined to ask for the notes that the SWs had from your prep days (think you can request under freedom of information act).

Yes you made a mistake re withholding info, but you've been upfront with 2 other agencies who are going back to the first and then saying No. I think you need to get facts on what the first LA hold about you (including their opinions and observations). It may be tough reading and not fully truthful as it will be someone's perspective rather than fact but it will allow you to know how to proceed and have a plan.

Take each thing they note as a negative and turn it around. The 0-3 and even 0-5 age groups are the most popular so agencies can be selective if they think there's others that will be "easier" to get to panel. Each thing you've said doesn't seem a deal breaker but your stumbling block is what the first LA are telling other agencies who get in touch and if you do take a year out to "grieve" then that's not going to change much?

As said, I really don't wish to offend but I really feel you're getting a bit of an run around and if your willing to work on the stumbling blocks then you should still be able to get on the adoption path. What about joining your local AUK group or meet up with adopters you know - there you will find many folks who've had rocky paths to get onto adoption too but have been successful. Ps the 45yrs is still a guideline but I can understand why this would be a concern until you feel you have started the adoption journey.

Good luck x


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## becs40 (Apr 9, 2013)

Gertie gives good advice Diane about asking original authority for the information they hold on you. 
I would also be inclined to try other va's  and try to give us much detail to them about your previous rejections as early as possible to try and get them to commit to you early on.
Persistence pays so don't give up, these knocks only seek to make us stronger in the end which can ultimately only be a good thing.
Good luck
X


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## Diane71 (Mar 9, 2013)

Thankyou ladies for the great advice 

I'm going to email them and ask what info and reasons they have given la and va as to why they didn't continue with our enquiry to adopt 

Esp as we told the second la and va everything upfront


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## GoofyGirl (Apr 1, 2013)

Good luck Diane


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## Sun Flower (Jul 14, 2008)

Hope you get some answers and find a way forward 
Good luck


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## Diane71 (Mar 9, 2013)

Hi 

I have emailed the first la to ask for any notes they have on us when we attended prep and also what info they have given the second la as what there reasons were in detail as to why they didn't proceed 

As the second la we told them everything upfront !! 

Got an email back asking exactly what was I looking for !!!


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