# Newbie



## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi all, I'm 28 me and my dh hav been trying for 2 yrs this xmas,after many visits to doc (AND BEING IGNORED) I went to private clinic in London for Fertility MOT in April 10 they said I had large cyst on ovary and felt I may have endometriosis, I was gutted but relieved that I was right because I knew there was something wrong, after arguing with G.P got referral to endometriosis specialist in N,ireland who diagnosed severe endometriosis (June 10), I had to have laporoscopy surgery and wld have had to wait 6 months on NHS and thankfully due to great family was able to have private surgery in July. My surgeon was lovely and told me and dh to recover and start trying but he wld refer me to specialist still waiting for appointment 4 months later getting so frustrated and depressed, everyone around me is pregnant and my sis has just told me she is 8 wks preg and her other baby isn't even 1, trying to act delighted but think I just look like a jealous idiot


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## dahliadoc (Nov 7, 2010)

we all suffer the same jealousy feeling when we hear others are pregnant.....i have a 4year old which i got after losing a baby at 18weeks and had to do a surgery and bedrest for 5months and everyone around me were very happy and enjoying their pregnancy whereas i was stuck on my couch.....anyway i think feeling partly jealous is normal but u will be happy for your sister in your own way.........i couldnt get near babies after my first loss for a while until i was pregnant again 6months later........all i want to say is your still young and eventually will get all the BFPs u need......i am turning 39 in a few weeks so feeling dreadful already...........
dooz


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## LadyKtcuddles (Nov 6, 2010)

Hi cazza, I'm a newbie too, I know what you mean about the jealousy, I had a bad day yesterday feeling lonely, angry, and jealous, lots and lots of crying!  Im 37 and we have been ttc for 2 & a half years, very frustrating! We are starting our first icsi at the beginning of December. As wonderful as my family and friends are, it's not the same as talking to someone who is going through the same thing. Ktcuddles. X


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## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

Yeah I had one of those days on Friday and evrything I looked at or watched had something to do with preg ladies or babies it just follows me everywhere I go, there is nothing any1 can say or do to help I think you just need ur own space for a while. Good luck with icsi x


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## LadyKtcuddles (Nov 6, 2010)

It's reassuring to know I'm not just being dramatic, have just got off the phone to one of my friends who said something that made me feel so much better, so am passing it on in the hope that it helps, he said...' you shouldn't feel bad about feeling ****' so true!


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## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

I must remember that, it's bad enough going through stress and emotions of not being able to get preg but then feeling bad for being so grumpy with others just adds to the stress.


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## LadyKtcuddles (Nov 6, 2010)

Exactly! I've just managed to pluck up the courage to tell me sister that we are having ivf, she's half way through her second pregnancy, like you i found it difficult to be happy that she was having another 1, she's older than me so I've found it really difficult, was worried how she would feel about us having ivf,  but realised I need to save my energy for mine and my husbands emotions, was so busy worrying about how everyone else would feel! X


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## ruby1 (Sep 2, 2010)

hey, i am new too ! yes i know the feeling, 28 and TTC for three years while everyone else around me gets pregnant !! I have had lap & dye thankfully no issues, apart from a slight subseptate uterus, but the docs rectified that while i was under for the lap & dye. we are now being treated for unexplained fertility now, being put forward for IUI i have an appointment with the IUI nurse this week to talk about the treatment, nervous and excited !! it has taken almost a year to go through the system. I was first referred by GP this time last year... very frustrating !!!!!! xxx


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## LadyKtcuddles (Nov 6, 2010)

Hi ruby1, it's taken us nearly a year to get to this stage too, and nothing wrong with either of us so also being treated as unexplained fertility. all the waiting for things to happen takes it's toll. Good luck with the iui. X


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## ruby1 (Sep 2, 2010)

Thank you Ktcuddles... Apparently I am actually very lucky that i was only made to wait for three months after lap & dye, as I was told we would have been classed as back to 'day one' of TTC after the issue with my subspetate uterus was sorted.  someone else i know had to go through the whole 18 months wait again after surgery to fix a subseptate !! I have a really nice doctor who is very understanding. I have had two miscarriages before i was married (both got preg totally unaware while on the pill, and I was always very careful) so I think the doctors may have taken this into consideration... I also had a very weak negative last year may but 6 days after BFP i had massive pains in back, i literally could not walk. went to local A&E and they said test negative and just to go home as i will just have a late period, i was referred after this and the clinic told me that was still a pregnancy as I had a positive. very emotional time !! This whole year has been such a long battle.  very irregular periods and just emotional stress from having a lap & dye operation and tests and dissapointment every month. I don't think any of us actually realise that the operation in its self is a stress on the body and the mind, I mean we are being opened up and poked at !! i have just almost given up now. but past 6 months i have seen a friend IVF fail and another work. So I have just to stay positive ?? It nice to have people on here to talk to now, everyone just keeps saying, oh don't worry it will happen, you will make a great mum, blah blah. Just sometimes want to hit someone !! and if another person asks me if i am pregnant and why don't i want kids I will scream !! got a two week holiday booked in December so that might be very good for me and my DH just to relax from work as well as this TTC pressure.

I will let you know how the appointment goes when i get back from hospital ! xxx


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## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi Ruby, I know how you feel abt people asking I've started to dread any family/friend gatherings as I just know the "oh you's will be next" or "when you's going to start having kids" question is going to come I've laughed it off so far but as time goes on it's getting more and more difficult. I had surgery in July and it does take a lot out of you. Good luck with ur appointment


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

to FF!	
Firstly I'm sorry for the delay in welcoming you to the site  
Please have a good look around the site and feel free to post in any area, and make yourself at home. There are many who are on their TTC journey, and others who have been fortunate to have little ones with assistance. You will soon discover that our members are very encouraging of one another and offering advice or just simple hugs. There's a vast amount of information here for everyone, so start reading, posting and getting to know others. You will make some great friends too, lots of members often have meet ups locally too, for chats, coffee, shopping or even nights out! You can share conversations with one another freely, simply because we all understand each other. It's hard when family and friends don't fully comprehend what this journey entails and the emotions that go with it. That's where we come in!

Here are some links which you should find really useful at the moment&#8230;&#8230;

*What Every New Member Needs To Know (includes a list of common abbreviations) ~ *   CLICK HERE

*Complimentary, Holistic and Spiritual Approaches ~ *CLICK HERE 

*Endo ~ *CLICK HERE

*A Rough Guide To IVF ~*CLICK HERE

You can also chat live in our chat room. We have a newbie day in the chat room every Wednesday where you can meet one of our mods for support, meet other new members and get technical support with navigating the site and using all the functions available here.  CLICK HERE FOR INFO ON NEWBIE CHAT 

You can also "meet" and chat with people in your local area through the *Location boards*. This is especially useful to find people who may be using the same clinic and or in the same PCT area.

Wishing you lots of luck    and 
Keep in touch
Ceri xx

PS I have also sent you a pm (private message)


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## ruby1 (Sep 2, 2010)

hey all !!

Ok, So my appointment went very well ! My DH came with me, (oh London in the rain and cold and train delays!) anyway we got there 15 Min's early and was seen straight away. The nurse was very nice and understanding, she said we are now under the 'unexplained' bracket basically. So she explained all the procedures and meds and said, that because my due date for next P's was on the Saturday as day 1 i could start then ! i was very happy but we then worked out I will be abroad on my holidays when i should be ovulating so leave it till next month, the ovulation time in December will be around time I am moving and also because i have cycles between 27 - 37 days i could be ovulating in December during Xmas time, so I have decided to go for IUI in my Jan cycle... but she also said if i change if i change my mind then i just need to call her number on my first day of P's !

I feel very happy about the whole thing, I will be put on 5 days clomid and i have been given the injection (that is sat in the fridge) just in case, and i only paid 14:40 for three months worth of clomid and three injections, maybe because i am on NHS ?

I feel a whole lot more relaxed now, knowing that i have a holiday and a move to a new house and in the new year starting the treatment, new year new start and all that !


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## mumford (Nov 8, 2010)

Hi there
just wanted to say there are lots of ladies out there that feel the same.I too have been trying for 4 years and have had one eptopic.I am awaiting ivf in december.I just wanted to say i used to feel upset when i saw people with babies or when i found out people i knew where pregnant.It does get easier though as you continue your journey, and you start to realise that some of those pregnant women might have been through similar things to u as well.Hope this helps x


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## Misty98 (Nov 16, 2010)

Hi,
I hope it does get easier, it seems as though everyone I know is pregnant, (our first cycle has just failed, next cycle in the new year), my brothers wife, my cousin's wife and 2 of the girls who work for me, so it is an absolute nightmare going to work every day    Just seem to feel so emotional all the time x


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## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi Misty 
Don't you wish you could control your emotions I sometimes have good days and then the smallest thing can set me off and having to congratulate everyone and listen to their stories is so stressful then feeling guilty cos its not their fault. It seems to follow me whereever I go it actually makes me laugh sometimes!!


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## Misty98 (Nov 16, 2010)

Hi Cazza,
Totally agree. It's when they are telling you everything they are going through, baby names, scans etc etc. It's very hard and I have to remember they have no idea what I'm going through ( I wouldn't want them to as they would probably treat me differently and watch what they say in case it upsets me!!) xx


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## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi Misty
Yeah only my family and couple of close friends know as I'm the same as you don't want people treating me differently or stopping conversations when I'm around them as that hurts more, my sister and 1 of my closest friends is pregnant and it is so difficult feel sorry for my poor husband some days


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## stelle (Oct 9, 2007)

Hi ladies 

I know how you all feel im 37 soon and me and dh were checked out 4 years ago and we were told we got to have icsi . we thought we were on waiting list for nhs treatment but found out 3 wks ago the doc didnt referre us for nhs treatment. I have since filled out a form to get nhs treatment and ive got to go see doc tmoro with this letter. I would never have asked my gp bout this if it wasnt for the girls on here . I am surrounded by newborn babys all my friends and family are having them and it is hard to face them . We have to stay positive and    that one day we will get our turn x   to everyone and next year will be our year


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## ruby1 (Sep 2, 2010)

hello all.... are we all still on ? how is everyone going ? 
xxx


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## cazza26 (Nov 7, 2010)

Hi Ruby
Yeah hav appointment coming up in feb with fertility doctor had surgery in July for endo so hoping he can help us fingers crossed


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## ruby1 (Sep 2, 2010)

Hey all ... I am 10 DPIUI !!! How is everyone ? Xxx


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## Misty98 (Nov 16, 2010)

Hey Everyone,
Hope you are all good?
Good luck Ruby1  

We are currently going through our 2nd attempt at ICSI.
On Buserelin, hospital tomorrow to see if we're ready to start Menopaur.

     that this is our year!

Misty98


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## Algem (Feb 21, 2011)

Hi Cazza26, just wanted to say hi really as i'm new on here too! 
I understand about the jealousy and envy - my younger sister has had her first last July and i was soooo jealous it hurt then they asked me to be godmother which was lovely but hard still. And like you at all family gatherings all you get is when are you going to have yours then - your sister's already had her first etc etc... like you i laugh it off and say i'm too busy for all of that but now i avoid the subject and pretty much change the subject or walk off. i think maybe i should tell my family but then on the other  hand i dont think i could cope with all their questions i'm finding it hard enough as it is.
Well, at least we have both found a place to share our highs and lows, take care.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## babydreams282 (Oct 14, 2010)

Hey ladies

I hope you dont mind if i join.  Me and DH haven been TTC for 2.5 years, DH has low count and have been referrred for ICSI, that was May 2010.  The waiting list is 12 months long, so ive been waiting patiently (NOT) since.  I am due to start my tx in May/June this year and really cant wait - obviously im apprehensive but i just want to get the ball rolling, after such a long wait.

During out time ttc i have numerous amount people announcing they were pregnant and it dosent get any easier.  Its a crazy feeling when someone tells you, i go all red around the face and then try to over compensate for my reaction by over reacting.  Even though most people dont know about us, i sometimes feel like all eyes are on me at this stage to see how im gonna react - paranoid...lol  

Hope all you lovely ladies are well and its nice to hear your stories, FF has been whats kept me going over the last few months, just hope i get my letter of offer soon


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## Ceri. (Sep 6, 2004)

Hello ladies 

I hope you are all well and finding your way around the site  
As this is the Introductions area, we try to discourage chat threads from starting, as there is a high turnover of newbies joining who need our help to search the site for advice and support. Once the mods have left relevant links, we like to encourage you to pop into other areas and make new friends in similar situations to yourselves 

It's nice that you all want to keep in touch, so please have a look in the chit chat areas, join in so you can stay in contact or if you are having treatment in the near future then look in the cycle buddies boards 

Chit chat is here ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=393.0
and cycle buddies here ... http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=68.0

Dont forget that you can send pm's to each other by clicking on their name on the left hand side 

Take care and I wish you all louck and babydust xx


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