# Feeling low at the thought of having no more children



## Louise29 (Mar 24, 2007)

Hi

As you can see from my signature, I have been told not to attempt another pregnancy. I think it has just hit me that Im never going to be pg again, never going to be able to give my DH a child of his own and the feeling of being a proud father to a new born. Some days I cover up my feelings and say oh well think of the money we'll save and the holidays we can have in a few years, but you know what, I would give that all up for another baby. Just 1 more baby. Am I being greedy, should I not feel like this. I do have 2 wonderful children but the feelings wont stop. Ive had people say Im young and things may be different in 10 years but I dont want a baby in 10 years I want one now. I know deep down I could never guarantee falling pg, but least I could be trying and the possiblity be there. Im sorry for sounding moody but I really dont know how to get through this. 

Thanks for listening

Louise xx


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## cinders35 (Feb 23, 2007)

Hi Louise,
Welcome to the secondary board. Don't think we've 'met' before.  
So sorry you are feeling so down, understandably so hun  . Don't know what to say really. It must be so hard when the decision to have another child is taken away from you  . Don't think you should be too hard on yourself though, think you should allow yourself time to feel sad about this, and in time perhaps you will be able to come to terms with it.
You will find plenty of support on the daily messages thread if ever you fancy popping over for a chat  .

If you are sure you won't be 'allowed' to have another baby, maybe you could take a look at the 'moving on, for those with children' board. I'm sure you would find some support there too. But perhaps is a bit soon for that?

Take good care, and go easy on yourself  

Love Cindersxxx


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## Louise29 (Mar 24, 2007)

Thanks for your reply cinders. 

My head is saying to move on but my heart is not quite ready. I want to give myself time to understand everything, I dont want to look back in years to come and regret sweeping under the carpet so to speak. Im going to have a look at the other boards, but may not post just yet. I still meet up with the girls on my location bb but I dont feel like I should be there now, I feel like Im intruding. Maybe this feeling will go in time I dont want to lose the friendships I have built up during my time on here.

Take care

Louise xxx


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## malteeza (Mar 23, 2005)

Hi Louise

I don't know the exact ins and outs of your situation but I would like to say this...Drs and nurses (no offence to anyone, I am a nurse!)  are way too free and easy with throw away remarks that are flippant to them but devastating to us.  I wonder if the 'sentence' you have been given is really accurate?  

To cut a long story short, I have wasted TTC time and  been given rubbish information (or worse, NO information) over the years by Drs and nurses.  My husband was once told he 'would never play sport again' due to a knee injury - not true -, I've been told I had an ectopic - not true - I've also been told I had miscarried - not true - passed the baby 2 weeks later.  What I'm trying to say is, I have learned not to take at face value ANYTHING a Dr/nurse says.  Do your research, ask around and you may be surprised that the 'sentence' given to you is NOT TRUE.

Wishing you lots of luck - 2ndary infertility sucks.

Malteeza xx


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## Louise29 (Mar 24, 2007)

Hi malteeza

A quick insight to my situation. I keep getting kidney stones, at least 1 every 3 months. Had many ops for it so my kidneys are now badly scared and damaged. I have 1 that is going to be with me for life, that plays up now and again. I am on meds to try and prevent them but not holding much hope to be honest. If I was to fall pg I have higher chance of getting a stone and then needing another op, I would also need to stop taking the meds which again would put me at a higher risk. I wish it wasnt true, but with the high odds I have already the chance of forming a stone while pg is near enough guaranteed. I was also told not to go to any third world countries for more than necessary has it could be fatal if I get another stone blocked and not removed quickly. I always said I wouldnt let it rule my life so I get on as well as I can. 

Sorry I thought it was going to be a quick insight. 

Louise xx


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## malteeza (Mar 23, 2005)

Hi again Louise

Thanks for your insight - I'm so sorry - that is a tough situation.  I was hoping it was one of those 'throw away remarks' about never having any more children.  I'm really very sorry.  Life is so unfair.

Love Malteeza


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## Louise29 (Mar 24, 2007)

Thats ok, too be honest Ive started to come to terms with it in my head, will take alot longer in my heart mind. The thing that really annoys me is the the remark my mil made about being lucky my previous ivfs failed. She reakons someone was obviously looking out for me. Funnily I dont see it like that.


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