# Help, I don't know if I should donate my eggs



## EmmaN (Nov 19, 2006)

Hi,
I am about to embark on my first attempt at IVF and am considering donating my eggs.  This would help us financially and I also like the idea of helping other couples who are going through this dreadful ordeal of infertility.    However, I am worried that if things to do not work out for myself that I may become obsessed with wondering if there is a bilogical child of mine out there somewhere.  

Can anyone give me any advice or tell me about there experience of egg sharing and how it made them feel?  
I would be so grateful
Thank you
Emx


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## Caz.s (Jun 27, 2008)

Hi Emma

I can understand how you feel I too went through thinking about donating my eggs in the end i decided to donate partially for financial reasons but mainly for the thought of helping another couple not to feel the devestation of not being able to have a child. Unfortunalty I found out I am a cystic Fibrosis Gene carrier so was unable to in the end.

If you are worried about finding out they will tell you if the doner couple become pregnant. 

Think long and hard its your decision 

Good Luck 

Caroline xx


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## honneybee (Feb 21, 2007)

hi em

I think it is a wonderful thing to do, it is a very tough decision to come to.

I did major soul searching first with myself, I asked all those questions too. but I had always wanted to donate but was never brave enough. I thought about my reasons why and that helped me make my decision.

I dis associated my self from thinking of my genetics. Once I made up my mind, I put all all those thoughts in a box and tried not think of them. Others may see it differently  .

the hardest part for me was filling out the paperwork on what you would like the recip to know about yourself. I had so much to say. but didn't want it to sound so corny.

I was lucky that it worked for me and my recip. she went on to have twins. (I did too for a short while) I sometimes think whether they look like my beautiful flower in a little way, but I never connect them as part of me. as they were only my eggs, but their mummies heart and soul if you know what I mean 

good luck on your decision    

mitch
xxx


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## EmmaN (Nov 19, 2006)

Thank you so much for your responce.  I still have a lot of thinking to do but that has definately helped.
Thank you
Emx


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## Jenny19 (Jul 2, 2008)

Hi Emma - I just thought I would add my bit to help you make up your mind.  I can totally understand what a hard decision this would be but as to your fear that it may not work for you but work for the recipient I just want to flip the coin for you a bit and show it in a different light.  Imagine if you were never able to get pregnant using your own eggs and you did not go for egg sharing and you reached say 43 or older and suddenly time has run out for you and you realise that there are no children that were biologically yours out there somewhere.  How would that make you feel?  Would you look back and wish that perhaps you had donated your eggs.  Also imagine that at this time you were looking for an egg donor because you still wanted to have a child of your own and you couldn't find one.  

I saw a programme last night on 2 women who had put babies up for adoption when they were both very young and they were both trying to trace their sons.  I know it is slightly different in that they carried these children around in them for nine months and also in both cases they had spent some time with their babies before they were adopted so they already had formed a bond but it did make me think about how hard it would be.  Of these two women one of them was single and never had any other children.  Imagine how she must feel.  She must be in her 50's so time has run out for her but it must be quite a comfort to her that at least she had a child even if she didn't raise him.

I hope I haven't confused you further and I hope you make the right decision.

Take care

Jenny


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