# Recently approved and waiting for a match 2014



## DRocks

As requested here is the 2014 newly approved and waiting board


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## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> As requested here is the 2014 newly approved and waiting board


Can't wait to hopefully join you soon!


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## DRocks

Can't wait till your all over here


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## Hunibunni

I'm here! You're not Billy no mates anymore  x


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## choccywoccydoodah

Hi all! Would you mind if I joined in? We were approved on 18th March and currently awaiting ratification then hopefully full steam ahead!


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## Dawn7

I'm hoping to join u, Hunnibunni and Choccy on here too, 3 weeks and counting


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## babas

4 weeks and counting for us to join you : )


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## do dreams come true

hi  all hoping to join you all to 2 weeks and counting


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## AdoptionDreams

6 weeks and I will hopefully be here 😊😊 xx


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## DRocks

Well hello peeps x
Choccy of course your welcome here, congrats x x


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## choccywoccydoodah

Thanks for the welcome! It's such an exciting time for us all isn't it  Having been incredibly patient throughout the whole process so far, I am now chomping at the bit and checking and rechecking my emails and phone every 2 minutes!!!  Mad fool 

Lots of luck to everyone who will be going to panel soon, its not as bad as it seems, honestly!!


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## DRocks

Do you think 15 profiles in one day us to much?  
I think this is going to be moving quickly lol


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## twinkletoes13

Hi guys,

Can I join in here please? We were approved last week (I love writing that!).

We've not seen any profiles since being approved, but we saw a few beforehand, nothing that grabbed us so far, but I hope it's not too long - I am not the most patient of people!  

15 profiles is quite some haul, Disney! Are there any that stand out for you?

Anyway - congratulations to everyone who's here! We made it!


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## flickJ

Hi Everyone, 

Mind if I join you? We were approved on February 12th, and have been waiting patiently (impatiently)   since then.

A week later, we were linked with a 3yo pink, but a few days before the final meeting - it was discovered Birth Dad was moving down our street  , no-one predicted that and everyone was devastated.

Since then, our SW has gone into overdrive, and we have seen basically one profile a day, and from that three CPR's, which we rejected.

We attended an Adoption Exchange day recently, which resulted in another dozen profiles which we whittled down to five possibles and we are hoping to see their CPR's next week  

Bet you all think we're too picky, but we just want to get it right  

Good luck Disney - hope you find your LO


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## choccywoccydoodah

Just the 15 Disney??  I'd say that's slacking a bit   !!

We haven't seen any profiles yet apart from the ones that we look at on BMP.  Has your decision been ratified Disney?  We are still waiting for that and our SW doesn't seem to want to show us anything until then.  She has also said that its very quiet with children at the moment-not sure that I believe her!!!!

Hope you've all had a good Saturday, the weather has been good and I've been cleaning- lucky me!


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## choccywoccydoodah

Sorry, forgot to say hi to flick and twinkle   It's great saying those words isn't it?


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## Waiting_patiently

Yay I can now join this club


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## DRocks

Welcome WP  
It's nice to have another join us.

Update from us......We are waiting for the CPR of a 9 month pink that we enquired about in Dec but was matched and it fell through. Not pinning our hopes as there is some question marks that need to be looked into.

Had a lovely meeting with our new social worker on Tuesday, she is lovely and said the family finding manager who was our initial visit social worker is very excited about us. This was further confirmed by a email today from one of the family finding team saying she is looking forward to finding us a link! It's a nice feeling they feel that they feel confident about us.


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## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> Welcome WP
> It's nice to have another join us.
> 
> Update from us......We are waiting for the CPR of a 9 month pink that we enquired about in Dec but was matched and it fell through. Not pinning our hopes as there is some question marks that need to be looked into.
> 
> Had a lovely meeting with our new social worker on Tuesday, she is lovely and said the family finding manager who was our initial visit social worker is very excited about us. This was further confirmed by a email today from one of the family finding team saying she is looking forward to finding us a link! It's a nice feeling they feel that they feel confident about us.


Ooh sounds very promising Disney, we have to wait for formalities before we will see profiles but she did say get things done as you could be back here at matching panel in 3 mths so need to get our fingers out now as we've done nothing! xx


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## DRocks

Incase anyone is interested in a sample CPR, I found this online earlier which was interesting to see how it's set out and the amount of content.
http://llrchildcare.proceduresonline.com/pdfs/sample_cpr.pdf


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## DRocks

Most exciting day today, we are decorating!
Looks like a candy shop explosion lol


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## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> Most exciting day today, we are decorating!
> Looks like a candy shop explosion lol


Wow I bet it all feels so real now eh, thats our next task!

I'm itching to get shopping for buggie, car seat, etc etc but know I need to keep my sensible head on first and wait till at least linked and see what a lo might have already, even though I want to buy my own regardless..  Obviously will keep all of lo's stuff even if its put away for memories, but if young enough I want to be able to give it our gifts etc as well as them keep their special things close to them already x

What have you all bought so far?


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## DRocks

Well as childminders we have tons of tuff anyway, but we have got a new cot, car seat and pushchair. Lots of toiletries and a huge stash of cloth nappies


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## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> Well as childminders we have tons of tuff anyway, but we have got a new cot, car seat and pushchair. Lots of toiletries and a huge stash of cloth nappies


Oh yeh I remember you showing me your cot, Im still undecided as thinking with a lo probably being 12mths upwards and possibly a blue one she has mentioned then I want to keep an open mind and not have it too babyish, totally not usually my thing but if a boy then I've been looking at the Ikea ranges with all the storage options so can have books etc on display and some toys, along with lots of drawers / hanging, our rooms not that big so need to utilise space well, pushchair n car seat I think Im decided on, typical me has fallen in love with the pricey ones, probably won't get my moneys worth in use but I think stuff it, we've waited this long so who cares if we want it its our choice eh, just scared to make the actual purchase incase, but I don't know incase of what ha ha! I've not bought toiletries either, thought about it but then have been too sensible and thought you never know regards allergies etc so probably wise to ask FC when matched,... god I hate my sensible head keep getting in my way...lol, have bought lots of books and a couple of toys like duplo unisex etc so not denied myself completely!

What pushchair, car seat etc did you go for? is your partner a childminder too, du both work at home? xx


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## DRocks

We have brought the maxi cosi new loola as it's quite spacious but fits in our small car and can be forward facing as well.
We have the maxi cosi Axiss car seat which one of our clients gave us. It was a second seat for them and still new in the box. It swivels to the sides to get the child in and out which is a back saver.
Re toiletries, we only use natural products so if they don't work for the child we can use them ourselves.
We are both childminders and work from home every day, previously we were both nannies for 17 years and this is how we met.
The room has not been done in baby colours as we don't want to have to decorate again in a couple years. You can't really go wrong with ikea


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## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> We have brought the maxi cosi new loola as it's quite spacious but fits in our small car and can be forward facing as well.
> We have the maxi cosi Axiss car seat which one of our clients gave us. It was a second seat for them and still new in the box. It swivels to the sides to get the child in and out which is a back saver.
> Re toiletries, we only use natural products so if they don't work for the child we can use them ourselves.
> We are both childminders and work from home every day, previously we were both nannies for 17 years and this is how we met.
> The room has not been done in baby colours as we don't want to have to decorate again in a couple years. You can't really go wrong with ikea


Ah the Axiss is one of my choices, although swinging towards the 2way pearl at the moment, choices choices! Thats cool that your both able to be at home with the lo, Im presuming you may have to stop childminding for a short time will you or have they been ok for to continue? I used to be a nannie too many years ago, only stopped it when I married first time around and moved away, prior to that did lots of nursery work, special needs care etc. Your right re decoration, plus I can't abide pastel colours, other than say a soft pink for a girl, but for a boy would want bright primary colours rich blues etc rather than soft, like you say don't want to be doing it again in a year or so when turn into more of a little person eh, I might go and take another browse in Ikea today! Back to work tomorrow after a weeks holiday.... boo!


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## DRocks

OMG, I'm driving myself batty email watching  
I need to calm down and find ways to fill my head space whilst waiting for profiles lol.


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## do dreams come true

omg i can finally come over onto this side and finally say im going to be a mammy eekkkkkkkk.
We have decorated our bedrooms pink and cream as we have been approved for a pink 0-3 as young as possible.
We have wardrobes and draws two tone pink and white.
Also i've been buying clothes every now and then off ebay there all brand new from Next and cost me hardly anything.
Feels strange now to be able to buy and not say if but when


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## DRocks

Were you only approved for a girl for as specific reason dreams?

Well just had a huge blow out on Amazon as one a £400 spend in a raffle today, got all sorts coming including the folding wooden highchair we wanted and a nursing chair and stool. Also the footmuff to match our pushchair and some other semi expensive items we probably don't need lol. It's been a good day, the nursery is finished and new carpet being fitted tomorrow.


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## do dreams come true

wow you have been busy  
we asked for a little girl because there are no girls in our family all boys. We just felt more of a click for a girl if that makes sense.


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## DRocks

Same as us, we are only looking for a girl under 1, it will make it a longer wait but we put a lot of thought into it.
Also being a all female household we feel we have more to offer a girl first time around. My partner also makes childrens clothes that she sells and would be gutted if we had no little girl to make dresses for lol.


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## do dreams come true

ah i bet lol
we said the same 14 years already so whats another few if thats what it takes for it to be right.


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## somedaysoon

Do you mind if I join you? Approved today and awaiting a match so think this is my place!


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## DRocks

Congrats somedaysoon   glad to see you over here x x


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## Hunibunni

Wow there's so many of us on here now.  Welcome Someday soon! 

Still waiting...still checking emails...ho hum! 

I have a meeting with sw next week so praying there may be progress but she ain't giving anything away!  

How is your waiting going?

xx


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## do dreams come true

congrats someday    

our sw is on hol till 22nd but has also technically left and our new sw start 1 June, but has said if anything comes up in between will be there for us. We should get out letter of ratification next week and will then be put on the National Adoption register. We did have a possible link but as of yet not heard back from childs sw, but once our sw is back things may progress


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## DRocks

Well our social worker is slightly rubbish I fear.
I've sent three emails in the past week and a half and not one has been answered


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## Jacks girl

Can I join you please lovely ladies? Xx


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## Waiting_patiently

Jacks girl said:


> Can I join you please lovely ladies? Xx


Yay.. welcome, Our Sw has given us a breather since panel on the 4th and said she will be in touch after easter with some profiles she has in mind....emptying the bedroom this weekend to get things moving eeeek soo exicted, still undecided on furniture and not bought anything more yet!


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## Jacks girl

Thank you Waiting Patiently  enjoy your spare room sorting  soon to be LO room  fx xxx


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## DRocks

Congrats Jacks Girl x x x


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## Jacks girl

Thanks Disney huni   x


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## Waiting_patiently

Hi Mummys to be   and any Daddys to be too of course   ... I've not posted much since panel, just passing time until sw gets in touch, she said after Easter, we're a day past and already I'm chewing my nails off waiting ha ha

We've emptied the 'nursery to be' this weekend, tonight I've polyfilla'd a few picture holes in the wall, will do some more touching up this week then dh can put a fresh coat of neutral paint on at the weekend, then a new carpet to go in and furniture can be ordered, thats all I'm allowing us to do for now until we know if we will be matched with pink or blue as I know I'll want to redo everything otherwise  

How's everyone else doing with the waiting? anyone got a time machine we can borrow to fast forward a few months...lol!


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## DRocks

This waiting just sucks, I'm hoping I will get bored and forget I'm adopting lol and then be all surprised when a link comes up lol.


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## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> This waiting just sucks, I'm hoping I will get bored and forget I'm adopting lol and then be all surprised when a link comes up lol.


  somehow Disney I dont see you getting bored and forgetting, fingers crossed we'll all hear some updates soon enough!


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## EveyBee

Waiting patiently- can I join you in your time machine?!!!!  Friend came round yesterday with her 3 girls, 2 of which are 18mth twins, I was in my element having a cuddle, they were still playing when D/H came home and he said later he loved coming home and seeing me with a little one on my hip!!  Bc keeps asking where little/baby sister is, then the other morning took 'special' teddy into 'baby sisters' room and said "I give her this".  Keep checking BMP and CWW but no joy.


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## MummyPhinie

I know I have ratification but I want to join you!!! Got to wait to hear outcome on our sidling group after they have a matching meeting. Been working very hard on our 3 rd bedroom my arms are like steel from the amount of painting I've been doing!!


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## weemoofrazz

We were approved today and would like to join you all!


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## Waiting_patiently

Welcome Weemoofrazz and  

Phinie good luck with the matching meeting, hope its not too longa wait for you, I think I'll leave the painting to dh


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## babas

Hope I can join tomorrow!


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## Waiting_patiently

babas said:


> Hope I can join tomorrow!


I'm sure you will babas.. we'll be waiting! Good luck xx


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## Jacks girl

Hey all how r u doing? 
We have been away on holiday. Back in UK today. Posting from Palma airport lol waiting for a ridiculously early flight with DS and DH. Badly need my bed or coffee but making do with an Agua! 
It's great to see more approvals over on the other thread and more lovely ladies joining us here! 
Had a thank you email off my thank you email I sent our SW for approval panel. Hoping ratification is at home in post or that it comes next week. Always a wait for that! Starting spare room next weekend. So I will be joining you painters. Got a few DIY projects to keep me a busy bee plus work, writing biz and examining season coming up. 
How r u all doing? 

Xxx


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## do dreams come true

hi ladies so nice to see more of you over here  
well i've had a busy day putting up our lo blind and curtains, just carpet to go down now and it will all be ready. Then just need lo and our paths to meet so we can finally be a family of three


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## mafergal

Hi everyone, very VERY happy to be joining this board today!    Our details are being added to the national register today and we finally feel confident to start doing some shopping, just essentials that we will definitely need.  Exciting times! Hope you are all well and things are moving forward x


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## Jacks girl

Woooo hooooo congratulations Mafergal that is immense! Well done!

Girls how long does ratification usually take? We were approved at panel on the Maundy Thursday but have not received it through the post yet. I know they won't have looked at it until after the Easter bank hols but its been over a week now from the Tuesday after the bank hols. 

Do you think I am being impatient or that it should have been here by now? 

Advice welcomed. xx


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## Waiting_patiently

Jacks girl said:


> Woooo hooooo congratulations Mafergal that is immense! Well done!
> 
> Girls how long does ratification usually take? We were approved at panel on the Maundy Thursday but have not received it through the post yet. I know they won't have looked at it until after the Easter bank hols but its been over a week now from the Tuesday after the bank hols.
> 
> Do you think I am being impatient or that it should have been here by now?
> 
> Advice welcomed. xx


We were approved on the Friday, the following Thursday our SW called verbally to confirm it had been ratified and the letter would be coming out that day but we didn't get it until the following Wednesday! Hang tight its just a formality xx

Congrats Mafergal its a great feeling being able to shop, however I thought I would want to run out and shop till I drop but now I can I actually want us to wait for pink or blue lol! Even beakers and bowls etc are soooooo gender specific, we've bought a few bits, mainly books as you can't go wrong and will want lots while on intros for bonding time etc, but once linked / matched believe me I'll be out there, there will be no stopping me ha ha!


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## pyjamas

Cant wait to be able to shop with a specific child in mind. Not knowing the age or sex of the child is so limiting! We have the room all decorated and furnished apart from the last few bits like duvet covers and curtains which we would like to buy according to whether we get a boy or girl. Come on little one, where are you? Waiting is damn hard! x


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## Hunibunni

Sorry for being AWOL but i do have news...we've got a match!! 11 month old blue  

I'm still in shock but wanted to let you guys know as soon as it was official so plan is matching panel end of May and intros beginning of June so I'm gonna be a busy bee 

Xx


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## Waiting_patiently

Hunibunni said:


> Sorry for being AWOL but i do have news...we've got a match!! 11 month old blue
> 
> I'm still in shock but wanted to let you guys know as soon as it was official so plan is matching panel end of May and intros beginning of June so I'm gonna be a busy bee
> 
> Xx


Omg  lucky you! That didn't take long!


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## babas

Congrats hunnibunni! X


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## babas

Finally feel ready to join you guys! Just awaiting ratification.


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## Waiting_patiently

babas said:


> Finally feel ready to join you guys! Just awaiting ratification.


Welcome Babas to the sunny side


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## DRocks

Sorry not been on for a while, just wanted to say welcome to the boring waiting board lol.
Congrats on your big fat yeses


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## mafergal

Thank you Jacks Girl, can't tell you how relieved we were.  We got sent a profile today but unfortunately it didn't feel right for us.  We are still waiting for the SW to short-list for a profile we saw a few weeks ago and waiting for admin to clear us on the National Register. I can't answer your ratification question, all I know is our told us we should receive it in about 10 days.

Thank you Waiting Patiently. I know what you and Pyjamas mean, we are set on a blue but looking at 0-3 and despite my first thoughts when posting we haven't actually bought anything yet.  First purchase is going to be bedroom furniture as we know what we want and the age doesn't matter - we will just hold off on the cot/bed.  It's nice to be window/on-line window-shopping now though knowing that we are approved and that there will be a LO at some point 

Hunibunni I left you a message on a previous post but will say congratulations again 

Hi Disney, how are things going with you?

Hope you are all well, have a good weekend x


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## Barbados Girl

Mafergal I hear you re the window shopping! We don't really want to buy things until matched. I have bought some little bits.

We got our big fat yes on Wednesday!  

How are you all finding matching? What has it been like for y'all. We are a bit overwhelmed already.


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## DRocks

We have been told there will not be any profiles that natch our criteria until June, so may is going to be a long month (
I'm trying to pull myself away from planet adoption as im finding the waiting really difficult tbh.


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## Jacks girl

mafergal said:


> Thank you Jacks Girl, can't tell you how relieved we were. We got sent a profile today but unfortunately it didn't feel right for us. We are still waiting for the SW to short-list for a profile we saw a few weeks ago and waiting for admin to clear us on the National Register. I can't answer your ratification question, all I know is our told us we should receive it in about 10 days.


Fx on the one you expressed interest on hun. Its got to be the right match for you. We got the ratification letter today finally phew xxx


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## Jacks girl

DisneyrocksH said:


> We have been told there will not be any profiles that natch our criteria until June, so may is going to be a long month (
> I'm trying to pull myself away from planet adoption as im finding the waiting really difficult tbh.


   Hang in their hun. Is there anything you could do whilst waiting jobs wise around the home or in the garden that you won't get time to do when a LO comes or is there any little projects you could do to take your mind off things. I have started 'finding' myself projects too xxx


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## Jacks girl

Barbados Girl said:


> Mafergal I hear you re the window shopping! We don't really want to buy things until matched. I have bought some little bits.
> 
> We got our big fat yes on Wednesday!
> 
> How are you all finding matching? What has it been like for y'all. We are a bit overwhelmed already.


Nothing as yet been put our way hun. We are just trundling along filling time with jobs. Congratulations on your BFY  xxx


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## Jacks girl

Waiting_patiently said:


> babas said:
> 
> 
> 
> Finally feel ready to join you guys! Just awaiting ratification.
> 
> 
> 
> Welcome Babas to the sunny side
Click to expand...

Hooray Babas welcome    xx


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## babas

Our social worker won't even look until we are ratified so we have no idea how long it's going to take. Also she's saying she thinks it will take a really long time and if there's nothing on her initial look she'll only look once a month from there.


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## do dreams come true

hi all well this waiting lark is a killer   starting to get me down now. We haven't seen any profiles from sw, the one we did have interest in was one we saw ourselves on BMP  .
All these adoption adverts are annoying, as family and friends keep saying well why aren't matched yet, them adverts say there are loads of children waiting for their forever families.   Hell don't they realise we are wanting this more than ever   
Our sw did say all along we could have a long wait, even upto a year as there aren't many children up for adoption in our criteria   
I don't know if this is stupid or anyone of one feels the same, but every time i see a little girl, my heart aches thinking will out little girl be like her or look like her


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## MummyPhinie

Dreams I know how you feel completely,

I am all over the place, still waiting on ratification, still waiting for a meeting to take place for the family finder of a group that may be a link to decide if it's us or someone else. And all I'm doing is worrying that these aren't right for us, should we see more profiles? We were presented them at start of HS and told that they may be seperated so said we would consider, we got to see them and another couple spent time with them so that issue is irradiated, I really don't know what to do. There is no massive pull, another group are playing on my mind and i just don't know what my little brood are going to look like, it's hard this stage! Are they out there and we hadn't found them yet!


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## Barbados Girl

Not stupid at all, dreams. I have become almost obsessed with what mixed race babies and children look like, and what our children will look like.  I spend ages wondering whether they will be light like me or dark like my husband, whether their hair will be very curly or looser.

My husband nudges me when we are out and says things like "that could be our daughter, son etc." He is going to get us in trouble!

Have you tried Adoption Link?


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## pyjamas

We are still waiting. SW is coming today with new profile. went out for walk at park yesterday. lots of parents with children but not us  x


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## DRocks

Waiting has been the worst part so far, harder than when we were deferred  
I've tried to take my mind off it but it's so hard when every night we walk past the nursery to be door and wonder what life will be like when we can peek in to see our sleeping baby.

I spoke to the social worker to see if we are limiting our options with the age and sex we have chosen. But she wants us to stick to what our heart tells us, which I guess is reassuring.

I'm resisting the urge to email today but not sure if I can hold out.


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## Hunibunni

Hi guys

I was told I'd have a long wait and to not worry. So as you can imagine when I got the LO's profile I was totally gobsmacked! In fact I've been in a spin ever since!

Just hang in there girls. Your LO is there and is just waiting for the stork to bring them to you.

Xx


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## mafergal

Agree with you all the waiting is a killer... getting really sick of checking emails so going to limit myself to once one morning noon and afternoon.  We got an email today to say our approval has been ratified and the letter is in the post so that's some good news I suppose  

I'm just trying to keep busy, yesterday and today have been spent re-pointing the patio.  It's a job that will take weeks to complete so at least I have a distraction.

Hunibunni your news is great.  If only all SW's and LA's were that switched on and it happened this way for everyone.  A couple on our prep got linked in Feb and they have matching panel in July.  I hate all this wasted time that happens.  

Hope everyone is well - apart from the waiting x


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## babas

I think what's so annoying is that even basic things vary from agency to agency! We still have no ratification despite being approved on the 25 April yet others have. Some agency's are looking for matches pre panel and others won't look until ratification is received!


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## Barbados Girl

Disney- what is your age range? My husband says he feels angry when he sees our empty spare room!

Hunnibunni- lots of congrats!


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## babas

We're 0-2 (imposed by SW) boy or girl!

Barbados girl it's annoying its it! We have two good size empty rooms, a people carrier and a large garden all waiting for a little one..... Such a waste!


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## do dreams come true

hi well another day over  
we received our letter 10 days after panel which we didn't expect so soon.
we have two rooms almost ready waiting for our little girl  
me and dh have started arguing over daft things lately must be the stress of waiting and the un known.

Hunnibunni your news is fab  

Barbados girl what is Adoption link ? i'm already on BMP x


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## babas

Do dreams come true did you pay to join be my parent?


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## do dreams come true

yeah i paid the for the online subscription our sw recommended it x


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## babas

Ah okay. I'm thinking of it...


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## mafergal

We are registered with adoption link. You don't have to pay & SW's can also contact you as you have a profile. There is a fee to upgrade your membership where you can contact SW's direct. I think it's similar to bmp.


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## do dreams come true

its ok but there seems to be more older children and ones with a lot of problems physically and mentally, which is so sad to read about.


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## do dreams come true

ah right thanks mafergal will take a look xx


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## babas

Our SW has said that our LA won't be using it but is it bad that I don't believe her?


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## do dreams come true

no of course not 
just signed up to adoption link how long does it take to get verified ?


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## Barbados Girl

I think you are right to be a bit suspicious, Babas because of the way the system works, your LA is incentivised into placing one of their children with you. LAs usually wait three months to put you on the National Register, no? Well, Adoption Link is putting yourself out there early. Plus, if LAs have harder to place children are you telling me they are not going to use every available resource? I guess you need to do what is right for you and perhaps taking matters into your own hands will help you?

Dreams- I think BMP tends to feature harder to place children. I have not signed up to Adoption Link yet as am awaiting ratification.

Disney- we were approved for 0-12 months but as we are dual heritage there are (sadly) a wide pool of children and a smaller pool of adopters. So actually we have seen a few profiles already and I am very torn about we to progress an interest we have had about a baby who would probably be 10-12 months on placement or hang on for a baby that is 5-8 months (we have been told about a few). Then I worry I am being too particular about age! I suppose it is just I would love to get as much of that "baby" stage if I could.


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## DRocks

We are approved for boy/girl upto 18 months, the social worker is only looking a girls under one. This is partly because we want this and partly because it's what they want for us. It's a decision we are happy with.

Adoption link was set up by the guy who runs New Family Social, it's the LGBT adoption forum that I also use.
I was the first to join as it was a perk of being a forum member, but does indeed seem to be the "harder to place" children. We wish we were able to offer a forever home to one of them, but 20 years in childcare has shown us they we are not equipped to parent children with vastly extensive additional needs. There are extra special soon to be parents for these extra special children.


----------



## mafergal

do dreams come true said:


> no of course not
> just signed up to adoption link how long does it take to get verified ?


Took just a day for us. I think your SW has to verify you are approved. Babas, your LA may not use it for their children but I can't see why that would stop you signing up unless they are really unprofessional and wont verify you!

Like I said before and as Disney says, I think it is similar to BMP as the children's profiles do seem to have additional needs and would probably come under the harder to place category. But I think it's good to have your hand in and it can help to feel like you are doing something whilst you await profiles to come through.


----------



## Jacks girl

Hey all, we don't feel that there is much going on our end either but that could be because of the age/gender specifics also which we and SW have had to insist on due to DS. My best friend said yesterday they think whenever you are waiting to hear something life changing like a link; once a fortnight at least your SW should drop you a quick email to say what they have been doing to family find for you even if it's a "I've looked but no link as yet". I have looked at adoption link but the letter was so stern about them finding a placement in our county that I am going to wait it out to 3 months. 

Luckily work is manic at the mo so it's keeping me busy and my line manager has been fab about looking creatively at his I can afford to be off longer than 18 weeks! Hubby is going to look at what time he can get and I am going to do a graduated return to work for the rest of my adoption leave entitlement. 12 months off is just not feasible. But my flexi time has been granted plus they have said they will grant parental leave should I need it as well without probs. my union has said I get my leave sub free so that's one less bill! 

All this pushing adoption in the press at government level and for all the blood, sweat and tears you put in still the support you get for becoming an adoptive parent has a long way to go before you feel equal to those taking maternity leave! 
Slight rant there. Sorry! 

Huge hugs to you all lovely ladies  Xxxx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Word, Jack's Girl. Wait until you hear about the angry email exchange I had with Hackney Council over the re useable nappy scheme. Will post more when I get the chance.


----------



## Dawn7

Hi Girls,

Sorry to hear everything's moving so slow for u all, hoping ur sw's link u all very soon and fx I can join u all on here tomorrow  

xx


----------



## babas

Good luck Dawn!

Feeling really low today. Still no ratification. Due to go to the last of the training Saturday so can't go if no ratification comes before then. 

No matches looked for. If/when we do get ratified then SW has said one look if nothing it's a monthly look and email to say nothing. That's what I have to look forward to!

Managed to find a placement for the extra experience panel wanted. All during the week so now as well as using holiday for my SW meetings I have to do voluntary work out of my holiday as well so can't take a break as life is on hold until we get a match!

I went through one of the largest LA's in the country so how am I being told there will be no children.


----------



## do dreams come true

Hi all

nearly the weekend again  
well not much to report just wanted to say hi


----------



## Jacks girl

Barbados girl that will be interesting to hear   Sorry you are feeling so low Babas   if that's the message I was getting from SS I would feel same. We are just totally in the dark our end. Feel like nothing is happening but distracting self with students, exams and the endless admin/marking. DAWN GOOD LUCK FOR TOMORROW  XXX


----------



## babas

Thank Barbados girl. Hubby has left her an email. I think it's worse as I'm taking a career break so my life is literally stagnant! I'm sure it will all be a distant memory at some point but for now it's torture! 

Come on babies......your mummies/daddies are ready for you!


----------



## sass30

Hi ladies
We were approved in Jan amd STILL waiting for a match. Seen no profiles from our LA . We attended an adoption activity day and got a link but sadly we were not the right family. Getting sick of fhe "any news" . Never thought i would feel like this. I sound desperate some days . We asked for under 2 boy\girl . nursery is all set which i think makes it harder as i go in and it feels all warm yet empty.
  hoping for a link soon as im losig faith slowly.


----------



## GERTIE179

Hi All,

I'm not waiting but thought I would drop by as I remember how torturous this stage was (and I did all the suggested things to pass the time).  For me once we were linked it felt a good bit better even though we had uncertainty.  Now that my LO has been home for 18months, it really doesn't feel as bad - until I read these posts and I recall the feeling of wanting to potentially pull out from the process after 9months of waiting - it was that hard. We found our little guy a few weeks after this feeling.

Nothing I say will make your feelings any less, but for those of you doubting if you can last this waiting period etc then please hang on as it is so so worth it in the end and you will know you just had to wait until you and LO's path lined up at the same time.

hugs x x


----------



## Groovychick04

Hi,

we were approved in March and although its not long since I just feel a bit disheatened by it all. We were not told (but it was suggested) there were a lot of children in our LA looking for a home - we moved LA's during the process. 

We had a student SW and she left so we now have a new SW in our ex LA. Our friend was thinking of adopting and got in told with the LA, she got through to our SW who didnt know who we are! I just feel a bit lost at the moment, I had to make contact with the LA, who has now said we should meet up more formally as the time goes by.


----------



## Macgyver

As Gertie has said, I know what you are going through and do feel for you. We waited 10 weeks for our match. In that time did not receive any profiles. We ended up going to two coffee mornings and found our lo on the 2nd morning. I was checking my email every few mins, if my phone beeped I felt sick in my stomach hoping it was a link. I looked at find a family and be my parent every day without fail.

I ended up making lists of things to do, nursery, buy nappies, baby wipes, bedding etc
Paint walls, make announcement cards, get a record book started etc.

I think I also baked for England those weeks, but as I sold them to work colleges the money helped buy little bits and pieces. I also opened a bank account in my name and started putting a pound away a week. This way lo has a little start up fund that we can carry on with. We will put it in his name once the ao is finalised.

Hang in there guys your littleones are out there just waiting for you.

       

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## MummyPhinie

Hi peeps!

In extreme emotion here, been anxiously waiting for more response from my sw after Tuesday text, so dh chased her, our ratification was done last week and sent Friday, so rushed home and there it was! One of the most anticlimactic letters ever read! Just states they agree with panel and our sw will be in touch, I thought it might say WHAT we have been approved for as cannot believe they agreed with our sw and said sibling group of 2-3! They have also paid for a year of adoption uk which will kick in within a month!

On the flip side confirmation of a matching meeting next week for our potential link which we have known about since February!    
We are in competition which is very unexpected, but there sw likes us so we may have a chance! It's freaking me out a touch that our family can more than double in a matter of months and I finally get to be a mummy!   
I have always been reserved with this group, even when we saw them, as dh has kept me grounded but now they are becoming more of a reality, I am not going to be able to do a thing on that day!


----------



## babas

Still no ratification here! Two weeks tomorrow since we went to panel!


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## MummyPhinie

Has your sw looked for you babas? We were 2 weeks yesterday, but obviously we have just had a bh weekend


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## babas

No I don't think she has Phinie she told us it could take days or weeks! Time is now going by. SW only works the later half of the week so that means we stop again until next Wednesday.


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## Dawn7

So happy I can come over to this board, if that's ok 

We had a nice time and a laugh at panel, it was all over in about half an hour and everyone in the room was lovely.

Like u all a cloud has been lifted, just more waiting now, but at least I know we'll be parents and will be worth it xx


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## babas

Welcome Dawn! Little bit jealous of your panel experiences.

Welcome to the waiting game.


----------



## MummyPhinie

Congratulations dawn! Sounds like you were lucky and had a panel like mine, although we were asked a lot of questions, welcome to the waiting game it's horrendous !


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## mafergal

Welcome to the waiting room Dawn    I did some painting yesterday as it was awful weather so LO's room is now a blank canvas (with a double bed to be moved next week). Now Stuck in work so am making my lists of more things to do.

We expressed an interest in another LO on Tue but our SW is since off for a week so it's been strange not checking my emails like a maniac. The waiting for profiles is bad but the waiting for a response when you ask for more info/wait to see if you are short listed I think is 100 times worse.

Hope you have a good weekend x


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## Barbados Girl

Hey ladies. We got our formal approval today and we are attending an exchange day on  Tues.  All a bit exciting and last minute.

I am finding it hard to concentrate on anything else. I thought after panel it would be better but after panel you essentially have no deadline. It is a bit like "how long is a piece of string?"  There is no definite deadline!


----------



## babas

I'm no longer a mummy to be. Good luck everyone and I hope you find your beautiful children.


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## Barbados Girl

Oh my goodness, Babas, what happened? What's wrong?


----------



## babas

We weren't ratified. We are beyond devastated.


----------



## babas

We weren't ratified. We are beyond devastated.


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## Barbados Girl

So sorry. My heart aches for you.

If you decide you want to look into options there is a great thread on AUK about someone who successfully used the IRM mechanism.


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## Waiting_patiently

babas said:


> We weren't ratified. We are beyond devastated.


What the hell? get over to Adoption UK and get some advice re IRM system theres lots on there that have successfully fought and won, that's outrageous Babas, so feel for you, you'll get this sorted don't you worry!


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## babas

I'm not sure we can appeal as he wants to review in 6 months but the things they want us to do aren't feasible...nor would they be expected if we are 10 years older as our SW pointed out!

So effectively unless she can change the decision makers mind we have to sit for 6 months for them to say no you didn't meet the conditions and then appeal.


----------



## Waiting_patiently

babas said:


> I'm not sure we can appeal as he wants to review in 6 months but the things they want us to do aren't feasible...nor would they be expected if we are 10 years older as our SW pointed out!
> 
> So effectively unless she can change the decision makers mind we have to sit for 6 months for them to say no you didn't meet the conditions and then appeal.


Well why on earth did they entertain you in the first place and put you through all of this, its not your fault if the PAR wasn't up to scratch etc (read on another post) its theirs, if the stuff is unrealistic then I don't know why they've wasted yours and theirs time and your sanity all along honestly its still worth seeking proper advise from the official team on AUK, they will obviously know more than we can all advise, don't give up without your fight you deserve this with everything you've had to go throughout moreso than any of us


----------



## babas

We will do waiting patiently. We've decided to have a day out tomorrow just having some fun. 

Some of the things we have been asked to do we have already done. They weren't in the report and as we weren't asked at panel so we didn't mention them. Also SW feels the questions we were asked were so vague it's almost like they were purposely trying to say no! So we have been asked to put a letter of complaint in.


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## Barbados Girl

We are all outraged on your behalf, which may not help right now, but if you need to summon any strength/courage then please remember that x


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## Hunibunni

Babas I am shocked as to how you've been treated. I hope you manage to get it sorted. Have you tried ringing BAAF directly? I rang them for advice on a problem I had and they were really helpful.  Sending big hugs to you xxx


----------



## oliver222

Babas sorry to hear your news. Hope things work out for you


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## DRocks

Babas I've sent you a pm hun x x x


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## mafergal

Hi everyone, hope you had a good weekend!

Babas, hope you have answers or something today!  

Waiting, I read your other post but don't have time to reply now so will do so later.

How are things with you Jacks girl? Good I hope x

As for us we got our ratification letter on Sat   Our SW was back in a day so back today & let us know we are now on the national register & she is pursuing a potential link. All very early days though.

Hope you are all well x


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## Dawn7

FX Mafergal , I know its early days but a link at this point is fab!

We spent all weekend decorating our nursery, still pinching myself and walking into a newly painted blue and beige room is making everything seem very real. Awaiting ratification too 

Cant wait to buy beds and bedding and decorate the walls and have LO's at home one day  

Has anyone done a theme like space, dinosaurs, cartoons without being linked/matched? DH thinks it'll be best to be matched first and then we can decorate to suit what they like. Although we've bought blackout curtains, my sister who has 2 children said they're essential lol

We're leaving the safety things like cupboard locks, until we get to intro's 

What else is everyone buying?

Hope ur all ok xxx


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## mafergal

Hi Dawn, bet you enjoyed all the decorating. I finished ours off a few days ago, have ordered the wardrobe, drawers & bedside but am holding off on the bed until matched. I'm going to remove the double bed that's in there in the next day or so ready for the furniture.

I really want to do a nautical/pirate theme but I will hold off until matched because I don't know what size bedding (maybe won't need any if using a gro bag etc) & I don't think DW is sold on it (yet)   

x


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## Waiting_patiently

Hiya, Exciting to read you doing all your painting and buying! 

Like you I'm desperate too but know full well I'll change my mind once matched as will want to get what we feel matches our lo so just doing neutral walls and have ordered nursery furniture which is coming early June to give us time to finish the room and replace the carpet, as I know we want young enough to be in a cot even if 12mths upwards so that won't change, everything else I keep dreaming and watching the money pile up in the savings ready but not going to buy until we are linked, it will be so much more exciting then and I can shop for Englad so not worried it won't take me long as DH keeps reminding me ha ha! xx


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## babas

We have bright coloured stuff and white furniture. We will need to sell it all now though thought i can return some of if as I kept the reciepts.


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## Waiting_patiently

babas said:


> We have bright coloured stuff and white furniture. We will need to sell it all now though thought i can return some of if as I kept the reciepts.


Oh Babas


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## babas

I packed the bits I had away ready to get rid of. My heart is breaking.


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## Jacks girl

Babas I don't know what to say   Xx


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## Jacks girl

Hey Mafergal all ok here just quiet on the Western Front links wise nothing seems to be happening. Our SW only has one meeting a month to look at links. I know they want us to wait out three months before national register and local consortium but I am keen to get us signed up on adoption link. Going to give it another month then going to ask her about signing up to it. I am marking again for Summer exams do that will keep me busy soon. Plus I am writing for the media company and building a website for another company so that's keeping me preoccupied outside the day job. Other than that prepping for when am off ie saving, budgeting cleaning and non perishables now so that's all going in our spare shed soon. Trying to keep bust. Spare room painted just got glossing to do. I hope I don't run out of time fillers haha! How's ur sanity and DWS holding up lol


----------



## Jacks girl

Busy even sorry tired and posting from phone lol


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## katie c

Babas, I'm really really sorry to read what's happened? Is there no way forward at all?


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## DRocks

I sent our SW a email today asking a few questions about national adoption register and consortiums. Think it was the wrong thing to do as now we have been asked to go to a meeting in a couple of weeks to discuss our matching criteria with her and her manager. Can only think the worst as maybe we shouldn't have been emailing once a week, although I did ask if this was ok and told yes.
We are bricking it now as have to wait three weeks to find out what we have done wrong


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Hope ur all ok 

Hunnibunni, Mafergal and Phinie how are ur links progressing?

Only asking because we've been potentially linked too   we've seen their profiles and CPR's and even a DVD. Trying not to get too excited but hoping to meet their sw(s) in a few weeks (which I think is the next step). Our sw is currently on holiday, so will have more info in a week or 2 hopefully.

Mafergal - I really enjoyed decorating, took all day Saturday and I missed the Eurovision song contest to get most of it done (did listen to it on my ipad though lol). We already had white wardrobes and chest of drawers, just need to buy beds and bedding but obviously cant do until we know what LO's sleep in. We have ordered blue blackout curtains though and then will buy themed duvets to match the room. 

Waiting Patiently - Wow new furniture, I bet that was nice picking it all out  If and when we're matched i'll be doing the same as you, shopping for England and I can't wait! Although DH is itching to go to toys r us, so happy to let him go and we'll probably go at weekend haha We're yet to buy stair gates so will look to get them this weekend 

Also went out with my family last night to celebrate and mum and dad bought champagne for a toast, mum said a lovely speech and we got a few cards and pressies and the question "any news" came up quite abit lol but best get used to that.

Anyway look forward to hearing how ur all getting on xxx


----------



## do dreams come true

hi all 
haven't been in here for a while 

babas  i'm so sorry to hear whats happened massive hugss  

how is everyone progressing ?

we have seen a few profiles this we and met our new sw who seems lovely.
We have request further info on two of the profiles we have seen yesterday and waiting to hear back. 
We have fallen in love with one of the lo's already and haven't even seen CPR yet, sw said they think there will be a lot of interest and it will be though.

it's so hard


----------



## MummyPhinie

I'm In a bit of shock and my whole life comes down to a meeting early next week as our potential link may turn to reality  
There was meant to be a matching meeting this week but got rearranged so they can delve deeper into some risks with us, cant go into detail, but it had me on edge all weekend.  So last minute meeting arranged at our house early this morning with our sw and the childrens and it went......well! Their sw was really lovely. 

They have time frames roughly mapped out and if we are successful and everything goes to plan we could be a proper family in 2 months!! And the profiles I have had in my house since fen could be a reality! Scheduled a meeting with my bosses tomorrow to plan a my leave etc in readiness and work I need to get done!


----------



## Jacks girl

So glad to hear of some links happening as nowt happening this end. Congrats guys      xx

We think our social worker has gone into hiding. We are supposed to have a follow up meeting with her soon according to the folder we were given by panel and so far nada by email.

I think it unlikely we will hear of a link in our own county from what she has said prior so for practical reasons waiting out the time till we can sign ourselves up to adoption link or go on our local consortium list seems ages but I have found in this waiting process, you have good waiting days and bad ones. Today is a frustrated day but it will pass lol and I know its only because I watched 'Wanted' a short while ago on ITV. 

However my house, garage, gardens and storage are going to be immensely well organised by the time LO comes home hahahahahaha.

Hugs to all xxxxx


----------



## Hoppie

Hi everyone, hope you don't mind me joining you.  Me and DH were approved last month and since then I have become a completely obsessive email checker who no longer looks forward to weekends because then there is no chance at all of hearing any information!

Great news that there's some potential links in the pipeline for some of you - really hope things work out.  For the rest of us, I hope we find our children soon.  

We're waiting for more information on 2 lil ones after their family finder contacted our SW asking about us. I really hope we hear something more this week.    Got a feeling their family finder works only 2 or 3 days a week though so nothing will happen very quickly!


----------



## Jacks girl

Welcome to limbo land Hoppie  

well girls I have caved and sent a vague but prodding for info email to our SW....probably won't effect anything profile wise as we have quite a specific criteria so it is tricky for her. 

Problems with throat at the moment - think its due to acid reflux and stress so off to the docs Friday - oh the joys.

Hugs to all xxx


----------



## Caroline S

Hi!

Feel ready now to join you all on here!

Scary but exciting to read that some of you have links.

We are attending a course in 2 weeks time for families who have a birth child, so looking forward to that.  Our SW has monthly meetings for links and so she will be looking for us at the next meeting on 2nd June!


----------



## MummyPhinie

Had our match confirmed today  a sibling group, so waiting on mp details and meetings etc, got a lot to do, so glad to be able to finally get things brought!!!


----------



## Hoppie

Congratulations Phinie, that's fantastic news.  Now go shop and enjoy every penny you spend!


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone, welcome over here Caroline and   to Hoppie.  I know exactly what you mean about no weekend emails as I feel exactly the same.

Lovely to hear about your confirmed match Phinie! Such exciting times for you!

Hope you get some contact from your SW Jacks Girl!  Have you approached about adoption link yet?

I hope everyone has at least had some contact from their SW's! We have spoken to ours at least twice a week since approval and I'm finding it quite hard so Goodness knows how you guys are finding it with no contact!

No real update from our side.  Still have two profiles we are very interested in, one is held up for reasons we understand and the other is short listing families over the next couple of weeks.  Our SW is hoping to get some profiles from our consortium later this week too.

I am now off to tackle fitting a new blackout roman blind and smoke alarm in LO's bedroom.

x


----------



## do dreams come true

hi ladies,
Jacks Girl you must feel so frustrated having no contacted with sw fingers crossed you do soon.

Phinie  brill news about your match 

I hope everyone else is managing to occupy themselves whilst waiting 

we met our family finder last week and have seen 4 profiles 2 of which we are really interested in and have requested further information.

The children's family finders don't seem to rush them selves in getting back in touch. although I know they must be busy


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Hope ur all ok 

Do dreams come true - Good news about ur potential links, hope things speed up and everything goes ur way.

Hoppie - Congrats on approval, any news from Family finder?

Caroline S - 2nd June isn't too far away and at least u know roughly every month when they'll be contact, shame its only once a month, hope ur sw finds a match on the 2nd June.

Mafergal - Glad ur sw is constantly in touch with u  Also that ur still working on ur home, like us.

Phinie - Congrats on ur match how exciting! Was ur meeting with LO's sw, ur sw and family finder. Could I ask u what happened and what they asked and did they expect u to have loads of questions?

Only as our sw has said the LO's we're linked to wants to meet up in a couple of weeks and me and DH are sooo excited!

xx


----------



## MummyPhinie

Thanks everyone!
Dawn- Our meeting last week was with child's sw and ours to discuss some risk issues and talk through what we can offer a bit more so she was as fully informed as possible. The meeting Monday was with all sw involved and family finder and ?their FC's. It was to look at the links ( was competitive match) and decide, so we weren't actually there. We have other meetings coming up as arrangements could be complicated. I need to meet with FC's soon as I need some answers so I can prepare rooms etc.


----------



## weemoofrazz

Hi to all and an apology for being MIA! We were approved on April 24th but only just ratified on May 16th. We were asked to consider a sibling group of 2 with risk of developing Huntington's straight after panel! For various reasons we said no   . Our SW called on 16th to say the 2 boys whom we had been linked with pre-approval have been recommended as a match. There is an 'official' meeting on 26th that SW has to get out of the way then he's bringing to boys Form E's  

We know nothing about the boys yet other than our SW considers us a 'fantastic' match for the boys and their SW/family finder is excited about us. We do know that the youngest is just under 3 and the older boy is at school (approved for 2 yrs 8 months-7 yrs).

I haven't been on at all lately as we have had a run of stressful events including serious illness with a family member, DH's mum was in a car accident and although lucky to be alive is left with permanent neurological deficits and the plaster/painter we hired to finish off our loft conversion and re-decorate downstairs made the worst job in the world ever and now after weeks of trying to get another painter we have finally found one! Between driving over 100 miles every round trip to the hospital(s) we're just trying to cope and keep going! 

SW was concerned about all that has happened in the last few weeks but understands that this is just life and we just get on with it, we don't want to delay the process and we have amazing support from family and friends. 

Babas, I am so sorry you weren't ratified, I hope you can appeal!  

To everyone else those still waiting and those linked I wish you well and good luck. If after the 27th we will be proceeding with the boys I'll let you know


----------



## Jacks girl

Hunnibunni, Phinie and Weemoofrazz good luck with matching and introductions.

Mafergal - hi hun hope you and DW are well? Hi to you too DDCT - fingers crossed you get somewhere soon with possible links and profiles. Heard last night after my post that there was a meeting today to discuss links in the adoption team. Our SW away for a bit soon so probably won't hear till after my week off. Looking forward to time off there are some projects I want to get done anyway before LO comes and I want to get ahead on some work paperwork and exam board papers before I hit examiner season. Plus feeling meh! So I guess in a way a little delay doesn't hurt but I do catch myself having 'it will never happen' moments. I am just going to enjoy my week off and try not to dwell.

Hi to all of you other lovely ladies in limbo land xxx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Hi to you lovely ladies. Congrats to those who have been linked and a big "I hear ya" to those in limbo land. Have a potential link, waiting to hear if sw wants to proceed with us.


----------



## Caroline S

Phinie - so excited for you!


Weemeefrazz - wow seems like you have alot on your plate at the moment, hope the matching goes well for you.


Lovely to hear all the news from you all. 


We have now arranged an appointment for our SW to have a session with both sets of parents, so thats another thing in the diary which will be good to get our of the way.  Yesterday we went shopping and got a folder ready for doing our book to introduce us to the child, so making some small plans. Might try an get some work done in the spare room at the weekend around my shifts, but it needs a good clear out before we even think about decorating it!


Hope you are all enjoying the sun!


----------



## Hoppie

Caroline - glad you're making limbo land a constructive time with preparations.  Hope something comes out of the profiles you've expressed an interest in.

Weemoofrazz - great news on your potential match - exciting!  Hope it's a good distraction and some good news amongst all else you have going on.

Barbados girl & Dawn - potential links for both of you, well done.  Fingers crossed!

Do Dreams Come True - hope you hear back soon from the family finders.  I'm in the same position - just waiting for more information!

The FF of the two we were contacted about has just this morning emailed our SW to say she'll get back to him as soon as she hears from the children's SW.  I guess the SW will look at our PAR and decide if there is a potential link with us.  (Our SW is great at keeping us up to date with details of emails he sends and receives).

Our SW also emailed us yesterday because he'd be contacted by another FF who wanted us to look at a sibling group of 3 that she has.  Can I just ask if anyone else was bonkers enough to be approved for up to 3?  We always started out wanting 2, but SW talked us into going for approval for 3 in case of the outside chance that we took 2 and then birth mum had another that needed to be placed.  But going from no children to 3 at once sounds slightly (okay, a lot) mad to me!  What's ever madder is that DH hasn't baulked at the idea!  Need to have a good think/soul-search about my feelings on this I reckon!


----------



## Nearly There

Hello Everyone

I hope I can join you all. I'm new and this is my first post. 

I'm a single adopter and yesterday I got an unanimous yes from the panel.  The panel were great. They said some really nice things that made me feel really confident in what I am undertaking.  I'm so excited and can't wait to meet my LO  

I'm black Caribbean and have been approved for a girl or boy aged 0-3. My heart is set on a pink as young as possible so that I can enjoy some of her firsts. 

I've been told that everything should be ratified by 3 June but that I should start looking from now.  May the search begin

Xx


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Hi everyone,

Can I please join? We were approved on Monday 😊😊 xx


----------



## Nearly There

Congratulation Adoption Dreams. It's exciting isn't it  

Did they say when the decision would be ratified?  What lo's were you approved for?


----------



## AdoptionDreams

So exciting. It's been a long 6 years.

They have said we will receive our letter in two weeks. It can't come fast enough. We are approved for a LO under 4 but they're aiming under 2 years. What about you? X


----------



## Hoppie

Hi Nearly There and Adoptiondreams - huge congratulations to you both on approval. Exciting times ahead!


----------



## Nearly There

AdoptionDreams said:


> So exciting. It's been a long 6 years.
> 
> They have said we will receive our letter in two weeks. It can't come fast enough. We are approved for a LO under 4 but they're aiming under 2 years. What about you? X


A LO 0-3


----------



## Nearly There

Thanks Hoppie.  How's your search going?


----------



## waiting for a pink

Hello people, we have been approved and were ratified last week! We are waiting...patiently...for a wee pink. I can't help but get excited each time I check my emails or answer an 'unknown' number on my phone in case it's _that_ call!

This is going to be a looooong wait I think

Good luck to all to my fellow people in waiting!

Cat x


----------



## Hoppie

Nearly There - we've just read the reports of two little ones and have gone back to say we're still interested.  No idea what the very next step will be but I know the next week, and longer, will be torture as nobody is working again in our agency until next Wednesday.  Hope your search is going well.

Waiting for a pink - congratulations on your Approval.  I'm with you on the email issue.  I wonder if my constant checking will subside?  Hope you find your pink soon, but enjoy looking!

Hope everyone else is doing ok. Have a good weekend all. X


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Hope ur all well, its so nice to hear about potential links and even matching panels that are now going ahead.

Those waiting, big hugs   but again it could be any day when u get that call 

Phinie - Thanks for getting back to me, bet u cant wait to meet FC's and know more and be able to shop abit more  

Weemoofrazz - Congrats on ur link, any idea when you'll be meeting childs sw and FF? Hope its soon haha
Also sorry to hear about ur MIL, that's really sad and I bet ur distraught, I hope she's back on the mend very soon.
Glad you've found a new decorator and hope he doesn't let u down x FX foe the 27th 

Barbados girl - Hope ur link turns into a match - how exciting!

Hoppie - Wowzers double whammy lol 2 potential links and a set of 3, hope that at least one of the links are for u  Looking forward to hearing more lol

Nearly there and waiting for a pink - congrats on approval and hope u both find ur LO's very soon.

Exciting news for me and DH, we're meeting the LB's sw and FF this week, so hoping they like us and feel we're right for these 2 adorable little boys, as in our minds we've moved them in haha

XX


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone, hope you are having a nice bank hol weekend (and not working like me). I'm finding this one frustrating as it's another day that we definitely won't be getting an email/update on info so glad I'm at work in that respect. 

Hi Cat (waiting for a pink) & Nearly there. Big congrats on your approval & welcome to this group! ☺  

Also congrats Adoption dreams! Lovely seeing people from the old group coming over! Hopefully there will be a lot of links and matching in June! Fingers crossed!

Dawn, such exciting news for you! Hope it works out for you both!

Hi Jacks girl, how are you? Will it be a relaxing half term or busy one? DW is working most of it catching up on work so bit of a waste me booking off the rest of the week as leave but I will find things to do... on a whim yesterday I decided to redecorate the downstairs loo! So that will keep me busy over the next few days.

Barbadosgirl, any news from the SW? Totally understand how you feel! We are waiting to hear back from two & it's really hard, trying desperately to stop thinking about one in particular because I can't get him out of my head & I really don't want to get attached/ fixated.

Hi Hoppie, hope you get linked to the two you are interested in.We've been waiting about 3 weeks to hear back from one SW and about 2 weeks for the second. Here' hoping we both hear something by the end of this week!

Good luck weemoofrazz, hope today's meeting went ahead. Also sorry to hear about your mil.

Hope everyone else is well, sorry to anyone I may have missed out. I'm on my phone & can't track back so this is all from memory x


----------



## sass30

Hi everyone, well DW and i have a new social worker as our other worker was in an accident. We know this sw and get on really well. Still gutted we arnt getting profiles or links. Comig up 5 months. Our sw is now on leave until june so not going to hear anything until she gets back. Its been really tough especially as im in the whats wrong with us phase. Busy week ahead at work so that will keep my mind busy. How is everyone spending there waiting time?


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi Sass hope you hear of some links soon. Fingers crossed this new one will come good for you.

Hi Mafergal hope you are ok. Know what you mean about being frustrated but keeping busy seems to be the key! I am spending half term doing none related jobs haha mostly around the house. We are redeccing in the front room and doing the glosswork in the house. I have cleared out my shed in readiness for stockpiling for when I am on leave, as I will take a significant pay cut 6 weeks in to being off. Fingers crossed you and DW hear of some links. Hope she gets some time to put her feet up before we are into the last summer term run - its a long one!

Weemoofrazz sorry to hear about your MIL. Hope your meeting went well?

All those with links and upcoming MP fingers crossed and hope all goes well. Good luck xx

All those lovelies of you also stuck in limbo land   our time will come soon and hello to the newbies on the thread and welcome  

Well the 'room' to be is painted and glossed, we are getting through the house and DIY jobs including redecorating our front room. DH insisted we redo it. I think its his way of staying sane lol!This week I am having a big sort out and doing the obligatory declutter/charity and skip runs. While I am a bit of declutterer, my DH is a clutter bee! Plus in my job for some reason during term time stuff particularly paper work piles up in various files and boxes until I unleash the mad shredder woman! So in a bid to stay sane whilst waiting I have sorted out my shed and now have a car full for the local tip and in the process of decluttering found a load of brand new decorating tools which can now be used in the front room. So feeling quite happy in that respect. The paper shredder has been out all day and I am gradually getting through the paper work (have to give it a rest every half hour so it doesn't over heat!

Anymore ideas for staying sane and keeping busy while waiting much appreciated.

Huge hugs to allxxx


----------



## Hoppie

Hi all

Dawn7 – good luck for your meeting with the SW and FF this week.  I know what you mean about moving them in already in your mind.  I’m like that and I’m nowhere near the meeting the SW stage yet!  DH warns me about getting too attached at such an early stage and while I can see the point in a bit of emotional distance, I can’t quite achieve it yet.  I know it would hurt for it not to progress but that’s something I’d just have to get over when the time comes.  The excitement of a ‘potential link’ is not something I’m prepared to miss out on to be honest.

Weemoofrazz – hope you’ve received more information now about your two blues and have a better idea about whether the link/match will go ahead.

Mafergirl – hope the downstairs loo redecoration is going well.  You’ve been waiting ages for some news of your enquiries so I really hope you start to get replies soon.

Jacks girl – well done on your glossing and painting – puts me to shame.  We have unglossed woodwork all around our house.  It’s one of those jobs that we both detest and have kept putting off.  I think we’d have to send our malty Labrador on a long weekend holiday to his grandparents before we even attempt to gloss anything!  We’ve been quite ruthless with unnecessary furniture and have been quite active on ebay to get rid.  It’s quite addictive to get a bit of money for something that we might have either given away or tipped/recycled, and have the buyer come and pick it up!

Hope all the other links/matches are progressing well and that others find potential links soon.   

xxx


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Hope everyone's ok  

We have had our meeting with children's sw and FF and they were really lovely and the meeting was really positive. We  have been told that both children will be introduced at different times, we'd get the eldest first and then the younger one would follow and timescales depend on the eldest LO, how quickly he adjusts. We're ok with this especially as its best for them. So we now look forward to planning meetings and ahead to matching panel. 

Mafergal - Glad ur keeping busy, hope ur loo's looking good haha

Sass00 - Glad ur new sw is lovely, getting on with ur sw is a huge factor I think   hope she's on it like a car bonnet when she's back too, not long till June now.

Hoppie - We were told by sw not to get too excited lol cant help it as everything feels right x

Sorry if ive missed anything or anyone xxx


----------



## Nearly There

Hi all

I hope you are all well  

Yesterday I received confirmation from the agencies decision maker, so it's all official now, yippee!!

During the week I registered for adoption link, the new online family finding service. They contact your social worker to verify you and I thought oh no more delays. But she must of responded straight away because I was made active the very next day.  Anyway I've made enquiries on a couple of LO's. One of which the SW has already responded and asked for my SW's details. I'll just have to wait and see.  

I know it's still early days but I think this bit is worse than the HS. At least I had a bit of control over what was happening. This just feels never ending


----------



## Caroline S

Nearly there - I agree that this is the worst part, I don't like not knowing when our SW may show us any profiles let alone have a potential link, I feel sick at the thought of it all.....if only I had a crystal ball


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone, hope you are all well!

Dawn, the loo will be finished on Thu (work has got in the way)   Have you had any planning meetings yet or got any dates?

Hoppie, we are still waiting. I am actually going nutty now. One potential link we are very interested in, we have known about a month now. I must have checked my emails every hour yesterday. I know why this one is taking so long due to court proceedings but we know that there should have been an outcome on Fri. Another the SW just doesn't respond to our SW's emails, another doesn't email CPRs so we are waiting for our SW to receive it to then send it on to us. As much as I try not to I know today will be the same, me email watching.

Nearly there & Caroline, the stress is literally making my head burst. In a way I hate being all consumed by the waiting and not knowing. Nearly there, I hope your potential pinks come to something. Good luck!

Hi Jacks girl, have you heard from your SW? Hope you get some profiles soon! DW actually had the weekend as work free days so we went out for lunch & enjoyed the sun in the garden (well she enjoyed it, I carried on re-pointing the patio  

Hope everyone else is well & that the profiles/links start coming through! Take care everyone x


----------



## Dawn7

Hi Mafergal - Exciting news about ur link, shame about the delays with court, fx I hope u hear back pretty soon.

We have a date at the end of June to meet medical advisor and FC's im not sure if anything will be discussed about planning MP and intros, but I am hoping we do lol

Sorry for no more personals, I have to get back to work but hope everything's moving forward for everyone  xxx


----------



## Hoppie

Hi everyone

No updates from my side.  I consider myself a very patient and calm person and this is really testing those qualities!  

Dawn 7 - so glad the meeting went well.  Congrats on being officially linked.  Hope the matching progesses quickly and smoothly!

Nearly there - very exciting that you've made enquires, and heard back on one - an achievement in itself!  Fingers crossed that one turns into a link.

Mafergirl - hope you find the outcome of the court proceedings soon - must be frustrating to know that someone somewhere knows what happened but it just hasn't filtered your way yet.  Keep up the good work in the house and garden.  We need to work on our patio too - need to re-lay the slabs as whoever put them down did a really crap job.  Would love a completely new patio but it's too big an expense and we're obviously saving our pennies.  

I see from your pic that you have a gorgeous chocolate lab.  We have one too and I spent the weekend with a few good-hearted friends and family coming round, ringing the doorbell and then being very patient while I open and shut the door on them.  Sounds odd I know, but even though he's generally very calm, he turns into a complete lunatic when we have visitors.  In 8 years I've never been able to get him to greet people calmly and after a very embarrasing/interesting encouter with our SW at our home visit, I'm determined to sort it out once and for all so we don't have a repeat when a child's SW comes to visit in the future.  I am making progress, I think it just depends who is more determined, me or the dog and in this instance it is definitely me!  

Hope everyone else is managing to keep busy in between the constant email checking.  

Take care


----------



## Nearly There

Hi all

The two enquiries I made have not borne fruit so it's back to the drawing board. My SW confirmed that I'm on the National Register and she will be circulating my profile to LA's. I asked to be put forward for an exchange day in September but it is anticipated that I'll have a link by then. My LO is out there waiting for me and I hope I find her soon  

Hoppie & Caroline S - I match your sentiments. This is a challenging time!!

Dawn 7 - Great news on your date to meet ma & fc, have loads of questions ready  

Mafergirl - I feel your frustration, I hope things improve. 

Xx


----------



## GERTIE179

Sorry to jump in
Hoppie - does your dog have a Kong toy? A good trick is to fill a king with sweets or peanut butter and let him get used to it a few mins at a time. Once he's loving it then you can keep it handy (and filled) but out of reach of the dog so when someone comes to the door you give his kong. If dog is food led then this will eventually train him to think different when guests come in.
X


----------



## DRocks

I'm on a downer tonight and starting to think I'm never going to be a mummy 
Excuse my pity party for one!
Not had one profile since approval, next week we are going to a profile event in our LA, but my thinking is if no profiles have been suitable for us this far then I doubt next week will be fruitful.

Best wishes sent to everyone x
We have booked a small cruise to maybe tempt fate lol.


----------



## Barbados Girl

Sorry to hear you are on a downer. Can you go to the next National Exchange Day, we found our potential links there and have had lots of referrals from the National Register/Adoption Link?


----------



## Macgyver

DisneyrocksH


Chin up girlie, a profile event is where we found our son.


If it's your first one you may find it overwhelming, we did. 


If it was like the one we attended


You are given stickers to wear with your names on and everyone there has one too, this is to give you help when you are looking for a particular sw.


In the middle there were large books full,of profiles. It was heart breaking seeing so many Los looking for a forever family.


Around the edge were tables with more profiles and sw. Some also had DVD players showing DVDs of the Los.


There was another room for tea and coffee and if you found a profile you were interested in you can chat with the sw over a cuppa. We also got to see a DVD of our son which his sw is giving us when she comes for her goodbye visit.


You can take the profiles away, fill in a form of which profiles you are interested in and they will pass that along to your sw. (I would recommend you let your sw know yourselves just incase)


Take your time, don't worry if you see other people with the same profiles that you have picked up too.  I walked around and kept noticing people with our sons profile and got upset thinking what ifs......


Good luck


----------



## Hoppie

Hi Gertie179 - he does have a kong and loves it.  He is a typical lab that loves his food but he also looooves people.  We’ve tried distraction with food before and he either still has his crazy few minutes and then goes off to eat his treat, or he’ll deal with his treat first and then go nuts (even if it’s 10 minutes later!).  He just seems to need to ‘get it out his system’ and thinks everyone loves and is pleased to see him.  What I want and need is for him to greet more calmly, all the time, as a matter of course and not just because we’ve managed to distract him.  It’s doable and we can already see improvement – just about repetition now I think.

Disneyrocks – the last few months must have been incredibly tough to not have any profiles coming through.  You have this day coming up soon and that means you will definitely now get to look at profiles.  There is every chance that your SW has overlooked something.  I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you.  Also loving the fact you've booked a cruise - that'll get things moving for sure!    

Nearly there – that’s a real shame, but it’s an exciting (and yes, frustrating) time and I’m sure you’ll find other pinks you like soon, and eventually one of them will be ‘the one’.  

xxx


----------



## DRocks

Thanks ladies.
We have been to the coffee morning pre approval so thankfully know what to expect 
In three weeks we can also go on the national register so hopefully things will start moving then.

I've picked myself up from my funk and had fun with the childminding kiddies in the park today, although felt a little guilty that I would prefer to be pushing my own little one in a swing lol.


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi to all.

Sorry only few personals tonight.

Disney hang in there hun    hopefully something comes of the coffee morning and going on the national register.

Mafergal - got a meeting with SW in a few weeks but its part of the LA's routine post panel visit. Doubt she will have anything for us, as she suggested next week or week after. As we suspect nothing will come of the meeting we put her off to the last week especially with the decorating we are doing. Have decided to spend some money on the house and garden, whilst waiting for LO. Plus Iam off to London Saturday for my examiner course and the mad marking begins for another year so looking on the bright side that all this will be out the way before an LO beckons. I also have an eye cyst that needs removing so I guess its all fate yadayadayada. Other that or am finding ways to manage my pessimism hahaha! Glad you and DW had some well earned time together. How is the toilet project coming on?

JG x


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone, hope you are all well & had a good weekend.

Disney, good luck with the event this week! x

Thanks Dawn, fingers crossed as we are really hopeful for this potential link. Good luck for your meeting at the end of June!

Nearly there, sorry your enquiries came to nothing, here's hoping you get some more potential links soon. I totally understand how you feel.

Barbados girl, how are you getting on? I think last I heard you had several potential links. Hope things are moving for you.

Hi Jacks girl, the loo is all finished. Nice & sparkly new with storage & all new fittings. I understand where you're coming from, all I've been doing is keeping busy, decorating, fixing, replacing, gardening. Anything to stop me thinking about links but I also want everything done by the time we are linked so we can purely focus on matching. We had the bedroom furniture arrive at the weekend, it's adorable & looks so good in the bedroom. BUT I made a mistake, it was all ready made solid wood & there is no way the wardrobe is getting up our staircase! So I've had to order another one. Hmmph expensive mistake 

Hi Hoppie, the description of your dog matches our boy to a T! He loves people & thinks everyone loves him. He charges at them tail wagging his body, all unnecessary, then flops on his back for belly rubs, then he'sup again. He works himself up into such a state. Treats aren't much use as he prefers people over food, or he will wolf down/demolish a kong for a few mins & then he wants to be with people. Our boy is crate trained, we tire him out & pop him in there in his own room down stairs when visitors come. He then gets used to their voices as we talk & then IF we let him out later with them he is a bit calmer. When it's just us he is the soppiest most obedient dog in the world. Luckily our SW could see this (after he licked her to death).

Hope everyone else is moving forward x


----------



## Barbados Girl

Disney- we made three potential links through an Exchange Day which I assume is similar to a profile day. This could be really good for you. Seeing all those profiles is heartbreaking though.

I am afraid I can contribute little to the dog convo, am allergic!

Good news for Dawn. Mafergal, we are meeting the sws Mon, Tues and Wed! Eek!


----------



## DRocks

Thanks ladies.
I think an exchange day is where your local adoption agencies all get together.
The one we are going to Wednesday is just an in house coffee morning and will have our LA's profiles, so part of me is hoping that our social worker has been pulling a fast one on us and there are actual profile's that are suitable for us.


----------



## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> I'm on a downer tonight and starting to think I'm never going to be a mummy
> Excuse my pity party for one!
> Not had one profile since approval, next week we are going to a profile event in our LA, but my thinking is if no profiles have been suitable for us this far then I doubt next week will be fruitful.
> 
> Best wishes sent to everyone x
> We have booked a small cruise to maybe tempt fate lol.


Same here Disney, we've not even had a phone call since approval even though she said she'd come for a catch up after easter to explain where we go from here, really peed off a the lack of communication, called her once to be told she'll be in touch! Im actually not even expecting a match this soon but to be kept up to date yes! Grrr


----------



## Barbados Girl

I know it must be frustrating to do your three month LA wait but as soon as that is up I would recommend going on the National Register and going on Exchange Days. The nest day is in July. If your three months is up then can you tee up to at least be on the guest list now? Our sw is still getting lots of enquiries via the register although we are now exploring three links. Something else we did was when we had our profile made up we sent it to Local Authorities- we targeted LAs with fairly high black populations as we are looking for a dual heritage child.

Also, can you go on Adoption Link now? I think your sw just has to confirm who you are and that you are approved. We have had three enquiries via Adoption Link, I think it is really taking off.

If none of this is a possibility for you guys yet, it will be in the not too distant future and if you think your sws are not doing much to family find, there is lots you can do yourselves. I am sure this must feel awful but you can only be slowed down for three months and then you can go on a mission yourselves! Xxx


----------



## chorlton

It's actually a fallacy that approving agencies are allowed to 'hold on' to you for 3 months, and the guidance for agencies is being firmed up I think. They are required to refer you to the adoption register *as soon as possible* after approval if there are no other matches being pursued, and *no later than 3 months*. It doesn't specify about CWW, BMP or AL, but would think that in the spirit of the guidance you should be able to use these too. Your agency has no right blocking you from what could be very good matches.


----------



## Barbados Girl

Today officially linked with a six month blue. Out of our minds with happiness!


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Woo hoo that's fantastic news!! Congratulations xx


----------



## sass30

Congratulations barbados girl


----------



## Hoppie

Brilliant news! So excited for you. X


----------



## chorlton

Yay - congratulations! How did you find this match in the end?

And what's a blue??


----------



## Barbados Girl

Found his profile at an Exchange day about a month ago. There was a bit of delay with meeting sws as I think they were still exploring another link which is a shame as we have missed June MP but there we are. The sws want us to meet the health visitor and have a link meeting to ensure we have thought carefully about how we will meet his needs. As with most babies "in the system" there are uncertainties in his future.

A blue=a boy!


----------



## Caroline S

Sorry but a me post coming up, just need to off load this somewhere......


So panel was about a month ago and we still haven't seen any childrens profiles  SW came today to have a session with the grandparents and last week she said that she had given our PAR to another SW and she would tell us more today, she now can't tell us more and has said that the child isn't ready for adoption yet.  I have an awful feeling that she is matching us with a boy when really we want a girl, but they have asked us to be open minded to a boy, at the end of the day, does this really matter?  Probably not, but when they ask the question of what do you want, and we say a girl, then maybe they shouldn't ask that question in the first place rather then reply with, well, there are less girls for adoption then boys.  Just feeling really down at the moment, she said she would ring next week, but it would be just to say hello, so feel there will be no real news for another month   Sorry, but just so fed up!  Going to get a bar of chocolate now 


By the way, I'm so pleased and excited for all of you who have links, etc.... so great to hear because I do know that this time next year I'll look back and think, why was I so down when I knew there would eventually be a happy ending!


Love to you all and sorry for my moan and lack of personals! 
xxxx


----------



## Jacks girl

Hey everyone

Barbados girl - fabulous news. Hope everything goes swimmingly now!  

xxxx


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Hope ur all ok 

Barbados girl - That's great news, so pleased for u x

Caroline S - I can see ur trying to be positive, it is a shame that they know u have ur heart set on a girl and then u get told to be open minded and maybe about to be given details of a little boy. I've read so many adopters wanting a particular gender only to go with the opposite lol Kinda like getting ur wedding dress, you have ur mind set on a particular style of  dress and boom u end up with something completely different/opposite. But if u want a little girl I would say, would save u heart ache to see a gorgeous little boy and then have to turn him down, if that makes sense 

We have an update to, we have a meeting next week to meet MA and FC's and then the following week a meeting to look at planning intros as we have potential matching in Mid Aug. Soooo excited! xx

Hoping ur all keeping busy awaiting news, links and matching panels

xxx


----------



## Nearly There

Hello Everyone

Barbados Girl - Congratulation. I must say it does give me hope  

Dawn7 - Great news. I'm so pleased for you. 

Caroline S - I feel your frustration. I'm in the same boat. My preference is also for a girl but recently I have opened up to the concept of a boy. There are definitely more boys waiting than girls, so the competition for girls is fierce. 

I've realised that I'm starting to get adoption obsessed   So I'm going to take a bit of a back seat, finish decoration my house, fix up the garden and be good to me


----------



## mafergal

Hi all, congrats Barbados Girl! That's brilliant news!

Caroline, vent away.  The match has to be right for you, so if the match they are setting up is a boy or is not right then it's just that. Fingers crossed you get some good news soon! 

Hey Dawn, so happy things are moving for you.  Exciting times ahead, good luck for your meetings  

We have a mini update - we have a meeting with a LO's FF & our SW on Fri. We're trying to keep a lid on it because we have no idea if we are the only couple/prospective adopter they are speaking to. Also the child's SW is on leave, so really don't know if we'll be any the wiser after the meeting. This was the first profile we saw pre-approval & the one we've not been able to stop thinking about, our SW has been amazing chasing & keeping up to date with the ff so hopefully this has paid off     Can't wait for Fri, hope I will have some good news to report    

x


----------



## Hoppie

Mafergirl - so happy things have moved on - and so quickly too! Better than waiting weeks for that FF visit! Fingers crossed that Friday goes well and the FF can tell the SW how wonderful you both are. 

Dawn7 - good luck for all your meetings coming up. Must be fantastic to have things in the diary and feel like you're getting somewhere.

Hang in there everyone else that is struggling with lack of profiles. You _will_ get a happy ending and it will all be worth it.

I had a breakthrough this morning in that for the first 10 minutes after waking up, adoption didn't cross my mind once. Must be getting used to the 'waiting for news'. Our SW did actually prise some further info out of the Local Authority last week - there's a hold up due to some staff leaving in the adoption team and, also, there's another couple being considered at the moment. That could increase though the longer the delay goes on.


----------



## mafergal

Thanks Hoppie    and well done on the 10 mins   I've been trying my best not to think about it at all or I think I would go crazy.  Since we found out about the ff visit I've just been throwing myself into a cleaning and tidying mission and tidying up outside - pressure washing our very long block paving driveway took up a good 6 hours of my time.  I know it probably won't make any difference but it's all I can do to stop my mind from wondering.  I hope your delay doesn't go on too long, must be so annoying that external things like staff turn over are delaying things for you.  Fingers crossed for you  

Good luck today Disney, hope it's positive for you x


----------



## Hoppie

Well, being productive obviously makes a difference to how you feel about everything, so go for it I say!

Oh yes, Disney - good luck for the coffee morning!  

XXX


----------



## Dawn7

Thanks Girls  I'm back on the excited but nervous roller coaster lol

Mafergal - Really pleased for u too, fx for u on Friday x

Hoppie - Shame that ur LA has staff changes, so frustrating! I think we all feel the same as u, we all have adoption on the brain  Hope u get some good news soon x

Disney - I'm the same, hope it went well for u today x


----------



## DRocks

Hiya.

Thanks for the good wishes, coffee morning wasn't fruitful but we were not really expecting it to be.
Had a catch up with our lovely social worker and did some networking with the family finders.
Only 40 children up for adoption in our LA and non in our age bracket. But it will be our turn soon I'm sure, seems our area are having troubles in the courts and children are being released back to family or birth parents even when social services know this isn't the right thing.

We have decided to wait it out in our LA/consortium and not go national just yet.


----------



## Jacks girl

Disney - sorry to hear the coffee morning didn't prove as fruitful as you hoped. FX you hear of a link one day soon. 

Mafergal - fx for you and DW with news on Friday.    

Dawn - good to hear all is going well for you  You have managed to find your LO quite quickly!

Hoppie - sorry to hear of delays with regards to your LA

Nearly there - I am the same at the mo while its exciting to hear about everyone's links I also have been taking some time out off the boards and planet adoption for house/garden and my SEN career development - I am currently on my Autism Practitioners course to finally get my accreditation for all my years of working with Autistic children. Really enjoying it. Between that and decorating/gardening and marking exams and work I am keeping myself busy and trying not to get too down about not having heard much. 

Caroline I totally understand how you are feeling almost 8 weeks from panel and not even a 'nothing in the LA' message. We have a meeting next week with SW as a post panel formality but believe its just a discussion as she has not said anything about profiles/links. I know she has been to two LA meetings since the approval and we didn't hear of anything off her after either so doubt she will have any news. 

Well I am off to shove my head in some marking or writing work to distract myself. 

JG x


----------



## waiting for a pink

We also haven't heard anything from our socail worker since we were approved a month ago. We don't want to bug her as we know how much work she has, but a quick phone call update every couple of weeks would be nice. We found an adoption activity day coming up soon, so asked our social to get us in. I thought it strange that she hadn't invited us along herself. Anyway, we are going, and we are really excited.

So pleased to hear about matches and links being made, it gives us hope.


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone, hope you are all well!

We had our meeting on Friday with our potential link's family finder and.... we no longer have a potential link, it is official    We are linked to a 13 month old blue    We really cannot believe it! As we have gone through a VA I felt it inevitable that any links would mean a competitive match.  I nearly fell of the chair when she said we were the only family being considered   I think I had the cheesiest grin on my face after that as she spoke about him.

She was lovely, said that the LO's SW and new SW agreed that we would be a great match and it was down to us whether we wanted to proceed.  We saw an up to date medical and CPR and were given some up to date photos that we were allowed to keep.  She asked us a couple of questions, thanked our SW for such a comprehensive PAR meaning she really didn't have much to ask at all.  All my cleaning, DIY and gardening paid off because she had a good look around and really loved our home. I think I'm still in shock, can't believe we are linked.

Hi Jacks Girl, hope the marking is going well.  When is your meeting this week? I don't see why you shouldn't ask if you can be put on the national register or sign up to adoption link for the sake of a few weeks (before the 3 month mark). I hope you get some good news!

WFaP, think I commented on your other thread.  Fingers crossed for your link!

Dawn, hope things are still moving along at a nice pace.  How did your meeting go?  And do you have a confirmed MP date?

Nearly there and Hoppie, any updates? I hope you all start getting profiles!

x


----------



## Dawn7

Wow! Mafergal, that's amazing! Congrats on ur official link, its such a good feeling.

Our 1st meeting is this Friday and we get to meet the boys MA and FC's, me and DH just cant wait to hear more about these LO'S.

We have been given 11/8 as a potential MP date, which is 8 weeks away eek! We feel so connected to these LO's and that they'd fit into our family nicely. The eldest is nearly 3 and youngest is 2 

Then next week we have our planning meeting, so everything is moving forward nicely and im looking forward to making a story book for each of them, just awaiting to be told when we can start haha

Me and DH have been speaking to family, as everyone wants to get us presents which is really kind, parents want to purchase the big items such as beds, buggy and car seats, but after our SW saying not to get too excited we'll wait a little longer 

We have purchased storage cupboards, toys and books though 

Have u or anyone else on here started purchasing larger items?

As Mafergal has said, hope ur all receiving profiles and hear something soon xx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Yay, Dawn and Mafegal! So fab! My crazy lovely boss told me today she wants to buy us our buggy!


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi Mafergal thanks hope we do too. I am certainly going to be asking lots of proactive questions when she comes around! Congratulations on your blue  that's fantastic news     so happy for you.

Marking going ok I hit the target for this week, just got to hit 40 per cent by next weekend, which is achievable. 

Barbados excellent news once again on your LO xxx


----------



## Caroline S

Mafergal - that great news, really pleased for you.

Thanks everyone, nice to know we are not the only ones still waiting.  I'm feeling abit better this week, still no news from SW, but had a chat with a friends of ours who is a SW and she hinted that we have had our details passed on to 2 specific children, so hopefully we will hear some news soon.  We have been told to get our book and moveable item ready, but hard to do when we don't have a child in mind. We have written a list of what we want to do, so at least its a start.  Also finally started painting the bedroom, going to try and finish it on Thursday, need a deadline to get me going, so have booked my handyman for the beginning of July so have to get the decorating done before he comes.

Keep smiling girls! xxx


----------



## DRocks

We were contacted yesterday about a 4 month old blue that needs a very swift placement (about three weeks) with view to placement before matching panel.
After a heart wrenching night we had to decide he was not the one for us


----------



## Marley49

Hope you don't mind me joining this thread? We were approved in Jan and have been matched twice but each time it's "fallen through" we are finding it really tough waiting  hopefully we will get "the call" soon xx


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Barbados girl - Thx hun - How are u getting on with ur link? Plus what a nice boss u have, that's very sweet 

Disney - Aww such a shame it wasn't a little pink, but good on u for doing what u both want and fx it wont be long until u get a little pink x

Marley - I don't know how you've coped with 2 links falling through, the thought of our link falling through gives me chills. But I think my sw is trying to keep my excitement in check lol fx  for u too x

We're still plodding on 

xx


----------



## Dawn7

P.S 

Caroline - That's not fair! Having a sw as a friend whose giving u inside info lol That's so good 

Hope u hear something soon, all sounds promising x


----------



## Barbados Girl

Marley, you poor thing! You were actually linked twice and then it fell through? I think that would break my heart. I feel so invested in our bub already.

Disney, it is tough saying no. We had to say no to two children and it still lives with me a bit. You can only go for the child that feels right for you, though.

Dawn- everything crossed this goes well for us!


----------



## DRocks

We would have taken him in a heartbeat, perfectly healthy baby, able to choose a name etc but birth family posed to much of a risk for us.
He will get the right parents, and will have a fabulous life I'm sure.


----------



## Hoppie

That's amazing news Mafergirl, so happy for you and DW. Let the planning begin! 

Great to hear other recent links are progressing well - Dawn7 and Barbados Girl.  

Hang in there Disney, Marley, Jacks Girl, Caroline, waiting for a pink and anyone else in limbo. It really is only a matter of time before you find your LOs. It has to be right. 

We heard today that the SW for our potential link does want to come and see us. No date given yet but I hope it won't take too long to find a diary gap that's good for everyone.  So happy, as I know we're not the only couple being considered, but at least we've made the visit shortlist. 

XXX


----------



## waiting for a pink

Just a quick update from us. We have had a mad few days! We went to a baaf activity day on Saturday and really really liked a pink that we enquired about. Her social worker really liked us and was happy to proceed,  but we felt that her health issues were too much for us to cope with when we already have a young son. We had to make the difficult  and sad decision to say no.   
We also met a social worker who gave us a "tip off" about a little one about to be given a placement order. Our social worker has contacted her and is getting back to us soon. We're very excited about this...could this be our little pink!?
While all this is going on, we have also had a potential link from a pink we found on adoption link! Crazy! Its like what they say about buses.... 

We're so happy reading about other people's links, it's mad to think we could be nearly there too, but I dare not think like that, it's too exciting!


----------



## Marley49

Our first link got about half way through and our second link got to three days before panel and the foster carers decided they wanted to adopt him. So with our next link I'm going to make sure I keep my feelings in check till the last minute.. It's taken a month to be able to think about moving on but we are ready now, and I can't wait to be linked again. We have a profile event on Saturday so I'm hoping we manage to find our LO there!  Xx


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi all

Brief update we are no further forward with links but at least today we find out how it operates with our LA. They won't send us profiles by email or CPRs - these will come out in person. We have been looked at by other SWs but the children were not suitable for us and we were told about one but it wasn't right for us. So we have been told we will only hear from our SW when she has found an LO she wants to come and see us about. Next month we go onto the wider registers. The general consensus was that there will be suitable LOs coming through soon so to give it a month or two before looking further afield. 

When she went I asked DH about going on adoption link and he said he wants to wait until the Summer holidays to go on it. The stats on there are still quite low LO profile wise anyhow (I am sure that will change as it gather momentum with agencies). I am going to check in with National Register that we are on there from end of July. Our SW is highly experienced so I am quite confident leaving the family finding in her hands as she has been quite proactive behind the scenes from the sound of things.

We overspent this month on the house and ourselves so going to reign selves in again and get saving! So going to channel my energies there. 

As for getting an LO placed with us in the foreseeable future not going to get hopes up about being off work in the Autumn. 

Any hoo am still waiting for eye cyst removal operation date and I have this school year to rap up, next year's curriculum, exam marking, Year 11's Prom and school trip and my new tutor group to do transition with so plenty to keep me busy for the next four weeks and then its over to Europe somewhere for a hols while we wait. 

Hope everyone else ok.

Welcome Marley was sorry to hear about your previous experience with links falling through. Fingers crossed for your Saturday event.

Waiting for a pink - glad to hear there are some LOs around of that colour! We have specified gender due to have DS. 

Hoppie congrats on your news about meeting. Fingers crossed! 

Disney hang in there hun xxxx


----------



## Nearly There

Dear all

Quick update - I read my first report this week and felt devastated at the tragedy contained.  Alas I had to decline as I didn't feel equipped to deal with the issues. This was a LO that I found through Adoption Link.  I felt bad saying no but I know it's the right thing to do. 

My SW will now circulate my profile and hopefully this will raise some interest. I've decided to take a back seat and leave the family finding to my SW. She has vast experience and knows me well.  She will read the reports and only pass on the ones she feels I can meet their needs. 

I never knew this part would be so difficult


----------



## Barbados Girl

It is heartbreaking. I still lose sleep over the ones we said no to. Particularly the ones where we read CPRs and met the sws.


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone.  Thanks to everyone who wished us well and congratulated us on our link.  It's finally sinking in and we had a lovely day at the weekend really looking at things we want to buy and we made a few purchases including ordering the cot bed.  The family finder has been in touch with our SW all this week and they have arranged the date and schedule for the life appreciation day.  It's great they are so organised but the slight down side on it all is that this is in the beginning of Aug with a proposed MP at the end of Aug.  So long to wait, purely down to a backlog.  It's made a little worse knowing that DW has a whole 6 weeks off through Jul and all Aug that would be perfect for bonding time.  But there is nothing we can do about it and I'm trying to make DW see that she can have 6 weeks of 'lasts for a while'.

Dawn, good luck for your meeting tomorrow! (Today now as I've just gone past midnight.) We purchased a wardrobe, side drawers and chest of drawers about 2 months ago because they were made to order and we wanted to make sure we had them.  Other than that before the link all I had bought was plug socket covers   We've now ordered a cot bed and a wall mounted book case and some furnishings.  We are going to have the room ready before we go to the life appreciation day.

Barbados girl... what a lovely boss!  I can't see mine offering that  

Caroline, fingers crossed for you!  Must say I'd find it difficult to make a book under those circumstances, like you said. We bought a book a while ago that we will use but haven't taken any photos yet or purchased a toy.  Again with our current time line we will do it after the life appreciation day and after we have spoken to the foster carer.

Disney that's a shame, but you will meet your LO soon!

Hi Marley, welcome to this little group   How awful about the links, especially the foster carer situation.  Good luck for your event at the weekend! Fingers crossed for you x

Hoppie, good news!  I hope you hear something soon and get a confirmed date for a visit!

Waiting for a Pink, any news yet?  I am running out of spare fingers but got a couple crossed for you too  

Nearly there, I know how you feel.  I don't think anything prepares you for seeing and reading a profile and then a few days later getting that CPR - none are nice but some just really stick in your head and pull on your heart.  

Jacks girl, sounds like a positive meeting with your LA.  Maybe a little shame that they didn't have this one or another sooner after panel just so you knew where you stood.  I think everyone just hates the not knowing and no contact.  But at least you have answers now and it is so good that you have such trust in your SW.  You can join my DW with a lazy summer hols... or not    1 month to go, bet you can't wait!

Hope everyone else is well x


----------



## Hoppie

Mafergirl - very happy you've got an idea about dates now, even if it's not as soon as you'd hope to take advantage of DW being off for a few weeks (very frustrating). Good to put the positive spin on it though to do things that you might not get chance to again for a while when LO arrives. Exciting for you both to finally be buying things with a specific child in mind. My purchases so far have amounted to books, colouring and craft items that are quite generic and even buying those made me feel like an imposter in the world of 'parents'. Hope you continue to relish in the process that will lead you to your LO.

Jacks girl - glad you have a better idea now of how things in your LA work and that you're happy your SW is doing her best for you. Also good you have a strategy for the future, lots of work on to keep busy and a lovely holiday to look forward to! I know what you mean about being off in the autumn. Before our April AP I was imagining being off work in the summer if we were linked quickly. When that didn't happen my mind started thinking about autumn instead, and now we're not too far off July without a confirmed link, I am just hanging out for any time before Christmas!

For me, I hoped to hear about a visit date by the end of this week but not heard anything yet. There's still time though I guess!

All the best to everyone else with your family finding and linking! 

XXX


----------



## Hoppie

Someone's ears must have been burning - just heard our selection visit is next Thursday!!!  I didn't even dare think it would be that soon!


----------



## Dawn7

Hi All,

Our Meetings with MA and FCs went really well today, everything seems really positive and we have more of a picture of both LO's personalities and they seem adorable. Also FCs were lovely too, so feeling very lucky. Just hope we get another big fat yes in August.

Hoppie - Exciting news about ur potential link, I have my fx for u  Glad u have a meeting date too, hope all goes well on Thursday x

Waiting for a pink - Hoping you hear something very soon from this tip off and like u said u never know x

Marley49- Good luck with the profile event tomoz, fx u find ur LO x

Jacks Girl - Happy that you've been told how linking works within ur LA, we're doing the same, we've spent some money on a few books and toys and will save more for more of the larger items, looking forward to getting a bed and cot ready 

Nearly There - sorry to hear that you've had to turn down the first CPR that you've read, but its for the best and you've done the right thing

Mafergal - So pleased that things have progressed for u both, shame about the timing but at least ur looking at it positively, So you'll be going to MP just after us in August, its not that long really, well at least im trying to tell myself this too haha As you can see our meeting went well, next meeting is a week today and I think that's to discuss our intros, ours are abit complicated so it'll be a long meeting im guessing. But looking forward to know when things will be happening  Hope ur life appreciation day goes well xx

Sorry if ive missed anyone out, hope ur ok 

xx


----------



## TillyT

Hi! I don't post here often but enjoy reading about everyone's experiences. We've got to the stage where we were approved last Thursday! Yay! For a baby hopefully as young as possible.
Can I join this thread please?! I'm fully anticipating that this stage will be the hardest wait of our journey to date.....

Best wishes
Tilly


----------



## waiting for a pink

Thanks for the crossed fingers everyone, I'm afraid we have nothing to report yet,  so those fingers need to stay crossed for a bit longer! I have really struggled over the weekend knowing I won't get any news. I think it's the not knowing that's the worst. I'm ok when there are no links in the pipeline and we just plod on waiting, but knowing that ther might be something there is so hard to be patient! Bring on office opening hours tomorrow morning... ha!


----------



## MummyPhinie

Hi everyone,

Very quick update as got a long day ahead. Life appreciation and intro planning etc. 
I have now finished work which is both completely delightful and very scary at the same time. Other than odd little jobs and getting new car we are essentially ready.
I watched what to expect when your expecting and completely blarted last night, last time I saw it was just before approval panel and now I'm 1 week away from meeting my gorgeous little ones!
I say hang in there to everyone, your LO are out there for you. 
X x


----------



## Hoppie

Welcome Tilly and congratulations on your approval!  You're right - this stage is tough as you don't have a definite end date.  Hopefully it won't take long to find your LO.  

Phinie - all the very best for today, hope the meetings go well.  You're so close now - what an amazing feeling that must be.  

XXX


----------



## Nearly There

Hi Everyone

It's really exciting hearing about all of your progress. 

Welcome TillyT  

Well for me it seems like waiting for a bus. After hearing nothing, I'm now receiving numerous profiles!! I don't wish to complain but I have no idea how to decide   my preference was always for a girl (although I am open to a boy), However all I'm receiving are boys??  I would live to take them all home but of course I can only choose one. 

For those of you who are matched - how did you decide??


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone! Nearly there I put a response on your other post, hope it helps.  

Phinie, hope your day went well & intros schedule is all sorted! So very excited for you!

Waiting for a pink, I know the wait is excruciating... it only gets worse though sorry to say the more you get to know without any confirmations.  We went about 2 1/2 months knowing about our link before we had a visit.  If I hadn't kept myself so busy I would have gone mad.

Welcome TillyT, here's hoping the wait is not too long  

Hoppie, excellent news! I hope your meeting next Thu goes amazingly well! Will be thinking of you!  

We found out yesterday that we now have a confirmed panel date for 12th Aug with intros to start around the 16th or sooner if possible so we are really pleased, especially as the timing is so much better for DW's school hols.

Dawn, glad your meeting went well! With our MP brought forward it has meant that we've purchased a few more things as the gap between panel and intros could be none existent. So have now purchased a buggy, car seat, most of the bedroom things and then a big trip to Ikea is on the cards for July. I thought we'd have the summer hols to plan our book & buy things as I'm off for 2 weeks but now that 2 weeks is actually matching & intros so I got a little panicky thinking things won't get done as I have no more leave to take. Have you had your MP date confirmed yet? 

Hope everyone else is well x


----------



## Dawn7

Hi Everyone,

Hope ur all well, sounds like there's more going on now, balls are rolling lol which is pleasing to hear.

Phinie - Im so excited for u, its only days before u meet ur LO's, cant wait to hear all about ur intros 

Waiting for a pink - Hope u get some good news soon x

Hoppie - Hope ur meeting goes well next week too 

Nearly There - That's great news  Me and DH were really lucky with our match, we have an amazing sw who did a lot of exercises with us and we described the children we wanted and she came to us. It was the 1st CPR we saw and our sw first told us everything she knew about them, which was fine although there was and still is uncertainty, but something we were aware of and had read about in the early stages of adoption and read up on here and also we felt there were many similarities with BP's, so knew these LO's were the ones for us. Fingers crossed!

Mafergal - I cant believe u have 12/8 as ur panel date, ours is the 11/8 lol We've been out and bought a bed for the eldest (toddler bed), a buggy and buggy board. We're going to have a day out at Kiddicare soon and get car seats and a cot for littlest LO and other bits and pieces.

Looking forward to our next meeting now, roll on Friday. 

xx


----------



## Hoppie

Our visit is tomorrow!  Just sat writing out my questions.  Our SW came to our house last night to talk us through how it'll probably run. Very useful but he was a bit negative that our house is very adult, even though we've actually made lots of play space but just haven't filled it with toys etc yet. He then contradicted himself by saying that we wouldn't have toys out because we don't have children yet!  Let's hope the little ones' SW has more vision!


----------



## mafergal

Sorry Hoppie, good luck for tomorrow! I didn't realise you posted that comment almost a week ago  I wouldn't worry about your SW's comments, I would imagine everyone's house is the same (if you don't already have children) at this stage, I know ours was.

Wow Dawn, panel's within a day of each other   Kiddicare has a great sale on at the mo, it's where we got our car seat and buggy both with 50% off.  I love how organised the ff is, she has booked accommodation for our intros and confirmed they will start on the 16th. All actually starting to get very very real now.

x


----------



## Hoppie

Mafergirl, it's fantastic news that your MP and intros are sooner than you were initially told. Just a few weeks really and I'm sure it'll fly because you'll be so busy preparing!  

Happy shopping to everyone linked and hope the family finding for everyone else is progressing well.

XXX


----------



## Nearly There

Hello Everyone 

Now that I've made the decision to concentrate on finding a little girl I am a lot less stressed!!  I know I'm probably in for a long wait but I'm prepared for that. I've already waited 15 years what's a few more months lol  

Waiting for pink - have you heard anything more? I hope you have good news soon. 

Hoppie - how did you visit go today. Hopefully it went well. 

Mafergal - thanks again for your feedback. Great news that your panel date is brought forward. Not long now. 

Dawn - thanks for your feedback and good luck for Friday. 

Phinie - you must be counting down the days. Enjoy them whilst you can as I'm sure you're going to be rushed off your feet!!

Best wishes everyone else xx


----------



## Hoppie

Nearly There - you've followed your heart and I don't think you can go far wrong in that case.  It'll certainly make things easier for you when looking.

As for us - yippeeeee!  Our selection visit went well yesterday and they confirmed the link with 2 little pinks today.  There really are no words to describe how deliriously happy we are.  Matching panel on 2nd September. 

XXX


----------



## Dawn7

Hi Everyone,

Hope things are going well for u all

Hoppie- I can see things are for u, fantastic news! so pleased and being linked to 2 pink LO's too. 

Mafergal - I know MP's within a day of each other and  I think our intros start the following week, so exciting! I was officially told today, we can go shopping lol We also have to do a dvd argh! hate having my  photo taken let alone see myself on tv lol 

Nearly There - I agree with Hoppie, u have to stick to what u want and then ur not wasting time either, being shown profiles of little boys.

No major updates for us, with LO's potentially coming home at different times, we have a few more meetings to do. But I suppose these will help the weeks past by.

xx


----------



## TillyT

Hi all! Just wanting to vent a bit of frustration. 
So we've been approved a little over a week and although we are very happy I just don't know how I'm supposed to manage the waiting! I've somehow already managed to convince myself it's never going to happen! I'm so confused - I'm happy, yet also feel anxiety all the time! Help! 

Although I know this is all completely irrational as it's only been a week I can't help the way I feel.


----------



## Jacks girl

You are not alone Tilly T - we have been approved since April and are starting to wonder what is wrong with us. Sounds daft but we heard today that someone approved after us had been linked to a little pink in our LA. The thing was it sounded just like the LO we had been told we were being put forward by SW for. Today we said we would sign up to adoption link. We know our social worker might frown on it a little as she wants us to stay local. We have created the profile. In some ways I am nervous about it I don't want our SW to get annoyed with us but on the otherhand, I would rather know if we are of interest to any LO's social workers and aren't getting overlooked because of our birth child and pets xxx


----------



## Nearly There

Tilly and Jacks girl I totally understand how you are feeling. 

For me this is the most stressful part of the whole process - you feel so out of control and useless. During stage 1 & 2 there was forms to complete,  training to attend and home study to participate in. You even got to have your say at panel. 

Now it's all in the hands of the SW's......all we can do it wait!!!


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Can I jump on board. We were approved 6 weeks ago. I must admit that I'm coping OK 'so far' with this wait although I know deep down it's because I'm focusing on LO's bedroom. I know many ppl disapprove about buying and decorating before matching but for me it's gave me another focus and what a positive one it is. We are aiming to adopt a LO under 2 - as young as possible. We don't have a preference about gender. This helped us decide on bedroom colours, we went for Lemon, White and Grey. We have a feature wall with a tree and some monkeys, other animals and lots of leafs. It's very cute. The furniture is built, the carpet is laid, the blind & curtains are up, the shelves are up and we have now started adding to the shelves. I truly believe this is the start of me attaching to LO... I'm doing exactly what I would do if I was 6/7 months pregnant and I am enjoying every minute of it...

Ask me how I am in another 6 weeks!! Lol xx


----------



## do dreams come true

hi everyone
haven't been posting much on here but been lurking in the back ground  
its nice to see some people being matched and on the road to becoming a forever family
  
As for us we have seen a lot of profiles and seen two CPR's we wanted to progress but as of yet 3 weeks later heard nothing back from the LO sw or family finders. It's so frustrating and one hell of a roller coaster ride all over again and for me the hardest thing i've had to do. Far worse than the IVF and infertility!!!

We had a meeting with our sw last week and we are going to a DVD profiling day on the 18th July and an activity day on the 19th July. We are both really looking forward to the activity day due to actually being able to see and meet the children. We think it will make it more real to meet them and hopefully make some sort of connection away from all the reports and profiles.

I must admit i really have been wondering what is wrong with us  

anyway good luck everyone wherever you are on the journey


----------



## Nearly There

Hi AdoptionDreams and do dreams come true

I'm pretty much in the same boat as both of you... Recently approved and searching for my LO. This part is definitely the hardest   . I'm not the most patient when it comes to waiting for things so this is certainly challenging!!! 

I'm using this time to declutter, decorate my bedroom and freshen up the garden.  I  daren't start on the lo's room as I don't want to jinx thing     Adoptiondreams I think it's great the you've already completed Lo's room. The design sounds similar to what I was planning (sunflower yellow walls with a tree and monkey mural). 


We'll be joined with our LO's soon


----------



## pyjamas

We have been approved since July 2013 and are no closer to being new parents. Admittedly we had to delay things a bit while I had and recovered from an hysterectomy, but still! Be prepared  for a long wait before your dreams come true x


----------



## GoofyGirl

Hello everyone 

Sorry to sound like a parrot, but same here!! 

We went in holiday last week and returned to find the ratification letter on our doorstep   
BUT in it there was also a letter saying that now we are approved our SW will contact us every 6-8 weeks to talk about potential links etc 
Every 6-8 weeks!! Hope that doesn't mean that's the only time we will be shown profiles as I'm sure LOs won't be hanging around on the register for 6-8 weeks before being snapped up!!

Also I know that they are keen to keep us in house so don't know whether (or when) they will show us any profiles from outside the LA. 

It doesn't make sense that we are all waiting around. When my relative was approved last year she got sent profiles galore from national register and said there were loads of young siblings available (which is our preferred option) 

Adoption Dreams - think it's a great idea to start decorating etc. only problem for us is that if we go for siblings we have to reconfigure our study into a bedroom which includes removal of built in desk, shelves etc. Not a problem but don't want to do it if we only end up with one as means the computer coming in our bedroom which isn't ideal. So we are truly in limbo! Might decorate first spare room though. 
Have started clearing stuff out to make room for LO (s). 

Trying not to think about things as the thought of waiting a year makes me want to scream like a crazy lady.


----------



## TillyT

Sounds like there are lots of us in limbo land! It's so hard isn't it, other people not involved in adoption don't understand why I'm anxious about it and think I should be on cloud 9!
We are happy and I am grateful for how we come, I have little bursts of being excited, bought some second hand toys today   

We will get there, our lo's just aren't ready for us yet   Xx


----------



## pyjamas

Our room has been ready for our LO since February and there is even a tiny Swansea City football shirt hanging in the wardrobe! My sister is hoarding stuff in her attic that her children have grown out of. If this goes on much longer she will have run out of room x


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi all

I did wonder if those of us waiting should start a thread about songs with the theme of waiting for something to pass the time haha!

Today we got the nod from Adoption Link that we were ok'd to look on there. We didn't have an email from our SW just the website team to say our profile had been given the ok. I don't know if our SW has directly approved it or whether the site staff made contact with the authority. Been on and had a sneak peek (I could not resist!) but will go properly on there and look with DH tonight. 

It seems from the SW preferences on the site like they prefer the children they are placing to be the only ones in the household so I am wondering if that will cause us delay in getting a placement :/

The weeks of the school term are ticking down now so its suffice to say I will be here first week back in September despite our SW's optimism bless her.

How's every one else coping in limbo land. This part is definitely the worst in the waiting game!

HTH xx


----------



## pyjamas

I did wonder if the fact that we already have one child in the family (my husbands son from a previous relationship) made finding a match more difficult and also less appealing to child's SW? x


----------



## Jacks girl

I admit it has crossed my mind but our SW thought it was a good thing given the fact that my son has some learning difficulties and we have managed him well. I am probably just being a pessimist though. Are you on adoption link pyjamas? I must admit it does feel good being able to look for ourselves as well as SW beavering away behind the scenes. 

We will get there soon . Our LOs are out there I am sure of it xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Have not heard of Adoption Link. How do I get on this? x


----------



## Jacks girl

https://www.adoptionlink.co.uk/

Here you go  its free to join your placing authority has to verify your identity. xx


----------



## pyjamas

Thanks for the website address for Adoption Link.  I imagine that SW would prefer to match in their own area. Are many SW prepared to travel out of county? x


----------



## Barbados Girl

Pyjamas, absolutely- otherwise VAs would be out of a job. Our link is out of area.


----------



## Barbados Girl

Pyjamas, absolutely- otherwise VAs would be out of a job. Our link is out of area.


----------



## mafergal

Hi everyone, hope you limbo-landers are not there too long! I find it so frustrating that LA's work the way they do... ours receive loads of profiles weekly for LO's looking for a family and then there are all of you guys sat waiting, not receiving profiles.  It's so very wrong.  Hope you are all well and I really hope you find your LO's soon!

x


----------



## AdoptionDreams

I've not seen our SW since panel which was almost 2 months ago... Think I have a LONG wait ahead x


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi guys does anyone know the date when the adoption register becomes 'live' to adopters? We are due to be at the end of the official three month LA wait at mid-month. We are on Adoption Link and have started looking for ourselves now as we haven't had any links through our LA.

Hope everyone is ok? I think we have a long wait too :? Am booking a holiday tonight - feel like life has been on hold waiting 
xxxx


----------



## pyjamas

We have been approved since July 2013. Had to keep asking our SW to refer us to the adoption register and still was not done last time I emailed them. You can email them and get a self referral form but SW should do it .
We are thinking abut booking a holiday too!


----------



## waiting for a pink

Mafergal...where do you live? We should all move there for the next few months!  We have heard nothing from our social worker since we were approved over 2 months ago, except for us phoning her to ask things. She has made no contact our way, really, and we are beginning to feel out of the loop majorly. Should I call her so she can let us know what happens now? We just want to find out how this part works, we have no idea what she is up to, I know she has lots to do, but it's awfully frustrating not hearing anything at all. Pestering her is the last thing we wishto do, but it has been 2 months, so I would call that pretty patient, wouldn't you?

x


----------



## DRocks

Can anyone explain what it means if you have been short listed for a child? What do you think the timescales are to find out more information.


----------



## Waiting_patiently

AdoptionDreams said:


> I've not seen our SW since panel which was almost 2 months ago... Think I have a LONG wait ahead x


Dont lose faith we were EXACTLY the same then bingo, 3 mths exactly from panel date and were linked, miracles do happen


----------



## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> Can anyone explain what it means if you have been short listed for a child? What do you think the timescales are to find out more information.


If youve been shortlisted then your a couple they are considering for a child, sounds like there maybe more than one couple, or you may be lucky like us and be the only couple there considering at that stage, we had to wait nearly 3 weeks for the home visit then found out the next day we were successful, so its still not a quick overnight process. Hope its your turn Disney  x


----------



## DRocks

If I've got this correct we have been short listed along with 5 other couples.
We now wait to see if we are chosen to be visited.
We have the room practically ready as we knew we were wanting a baby girl, help! Do we need to take the cot down etc so if the social worker visits they don't think we are freaks.


----------



## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> If I've got this correct we have been short listed along with 5 other couples.
> We now wait to see if we are chosen to be visited.
> We have the room practically ready as we knew we were wanting a baby girl, help! Do we need to take the cot down etc so if the social worker visits they don't think we are freaks.


No, if you have specific matching criteria then no reason why you wouldnt prepare your room, ours isnt done but thats down to a) I didnt want to be desperatly looking in their every five minutes and know I would have been, and b) we had a wider scope on matching and couldn't really do a lot without know the final link.

Nothing wrong with being ready and it will help to melt there hearts when / if they come to see you  I don't envy you though having competition, I struggled with worry when it was just us lol! fingers crossed this is your turn xx


----------



## mafergal

I'm with a VA that covers the West Mids so they receive lots of profiles weekly.  Also being a VA they have time and their focus is us adopters.  Apart from Xmas we've had weekly contact with our SW.  I really feel for all you guys in this situation, all LA's should work like VA's imo.

Jacks Girl we were live on the adoption register within 2 weeks.  Our SW put us on the day after we were approved and then I think it took about 8 days for it to go live.  Once your SW has put you on you can contact them to check you are on and find out when you are live on there.

x


----------



## diamond5474

Hi guys,

Myself and my husband were approved on the 7th of many, can I join you?

I'm finding the waiting really hard, as with so many of you this is only a small part of our journey and we have been through IVF before this too.  

Despite all the advertising for adopters and the national coverage saying that there are lots of children waiting.  This is simply just not true, some local authorities now have a surplus of adopters and no children waiting, which is where we are.  It's heartbreaking, and we weren't prepared for it.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the competitive  nature of searching for a match?

Thanks in advance xxx


----------



## Nearly There

Hi Diamond and welcome

I'm also in LimboLand waiting and searching for my LO   I do feel for you.  I don't so much think that there is a lack of children available more difficulties matching children available to the right parent(s).  I take it that you are with an LA and as such they will want to match you with children under their care. So whilst they may have children these children may not necessarily match the requirements of the approved adopters that they have.  Most LA's will want you to stay with them for at least 3 months. After which you can go on the National Register. 

I went with a VA and was put on the National Register straight away. I have seen a few profiles and even got as far as reading a CPR but unfortunately none were the right match for me. 

I can't give you advice on dealing the competitive nature of searching for a match as I have not directly experienced this, but what I can say is that your LO is out there and when the time is right you will find each other. Meanwhile I would get everything else in order and readiness for LO arrival - home, garden and finances. If all that is in order enjoy this child free time with your husband, family and friends. Things will be hectic and all go when the LO arrives!!


----------



## DRocks

Omg, the wait to find out if we are being selected for a visit from the babies social worker is a killer  
How's everyone else this week?


----------



## pyjamas

We have got a visit from SW this afternoon but have learnt not to get my hopes up! We saw our SW manager last week and she asked when we last saw SW. We told her it was about 8 weeks ago. So I think the SW is only coming because she told her to. I don't expect anything new to have come up. Felt quite optimistic yesterday after I had looked at Adoption Link but husband is still gloomy! so I am gloomy too today! x


----------



## Flutterbye1234

Hi there

I'm after some advice please, I hope you don't mind...

We were recently approved to adopt. We have been offered young siblings both boys from a violent background. We have some reservations about this and wondered what others thoughts were? Is it likely that the birth families will come looking for us? How often do birth families try and cause physical harm to adoptive families? Thank you in advance...


----------



## pyjamas

Hi Flutterbye,
I think we have to be prepared that most children come from a bad situation and tailor our parenting accordingly. There should not be a risk in the family coming looking for you as everything should be done confidentially and you would not be in their local area. Most birth parents probably do not give up their children willingly . Hopefully your SW will be able to advise you further as they are aware of your capabilities and personal circumstances. Good Luck x


----------



## Barbados Girl

Flutterbye, there is currently a thread on the adoption section of mumsnet about this sort of situation. I would not assume all ss are as careful as they should be.


----------



## bulmer

We had two LO's placed with us from a non local LA (if that makes sense) They had to be placed away from home area due to BP strong objections and the suggestion that they would try to find them.  LO's have been home nearly a year without any issue at all.  BP tend to shout about what they will do which is understandable when they are losing children but in my experience that's all they do they don't carry out the threats. We never had any doubts about our LO's.


----------



## Caroline S

Hi girls,

sorry for not posting in ages, but not had much to say really.

So its now been 2 months since panel and we have still not seen any profiles of any LOs, the only hint of anything from our SW was a question of do we really want a girl, I said yes even if it means waiting longer, she said ok then.  So I assume if we wanted a boy things would be different, but we are sticking with what we set out with.  As we haven't seen any profiles, the bedroom still isn't finished being decorated! Our LG asked me the other day if her little sister was really going to come!  

Its nice to hear lots of good news on here, but tonight hearing about those of you who are also still waiting, its helped me as I'm feeling down tonight, so thank you girls!


----------



## pyjamas

SW actually surprised us yesterday and came up with a possible match! It is very early days yet and she didn't want to get our hopes up as the adoption order has not actually been granted. The child's SW has seen our PAR and has suggested to our SW that there is no doubt it will be granted. Court proceedings next week x


----------



## waiting for a pink

That's great news pyjamas! I cannot imagine how excited you must feel. I am so sick of not hearing anything from our social worker...its been 2 months now! I want that call so bad! Luckily the school hols will be here soon, my dh is a teacher, so we can look forward to lots of fun to pass the time. X


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi girls

I am still lurking but no news. On adoption link but no matches for us I am afraid. We are going to see if they have referred us to the national register next week. Booked a holiday as life has felt on hold. Three months next week. 

xxxx


----------



## Caroline S

Waiting for Pink, Jacks girl and anyone else waiting for so long with no news.......do you feel like you want to walk away from it all?  I can't cope with the waiting, and part of me wants to forget about the adoption, we are happy as a family of 3, maybe thats the way we should be.  I'm going to sound crazy now, but the magpies are doing my head in.  There are 6 magpies that keep landing in our garden, either as groups of 3 (1 for sorrow, 2 for joy, 3 for a GIRL!) so I convince myself that the magpies are telling me that our LG is on her way, then I see them as a group of 6 (6 for gold) and think about my saving account and how I could just walk away from the adoption and buy a new kitchen or bathroom......I'm literally loosing my marbles!  DH thinks I've lost the plot and wants me to speak to our SW next week.  AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!  I'm going crazy!!!!


----------



## Barbados Girl

Hi Caroline. Bad times, we all lose our marbles from time to time! How long have you been approved and what is your matching criteria? Xxx


----------



## eagle738

Hi all - hope you'll forgive me for a sneaky question when I don't belong on this board yet but I just wondered if any of you are with a Greater Manchester or Cheshire based agency and had something good or bad to say about how they got you to panel and support you now (please just pm if you prefer). Would be very grateful as having problems with current LA already so wondered about giving up on the tiny bit of progress to date and start again. No point if the new one is just as uncommunicative though Xxx


----------



## waiting for a pink

Caroline,  I just read your signature and noticed your lg has the same birthday as me! I would not say I've felt like giving up, I have the overwhelming feeling that my family isn't complete, we're waiting for our little one to start the rest of our lives with, without her it just feels strange...it's a weird feeling that's difficult to describe. I am getting sick of not hearing from our social worker though! I'm going to chat to my dh and put together a polite email asking her to chat to us and let us know what is happening through this stage.i hope you're able to have a nice weekend and start fresh next week. X


----------



## Caroline S

Waiting for a pink - I know what you mean and at times I think that I'm so lucky for have DD that maybe we should just settle with what we have, we are a happy family after all, but we do also want a bigger family.  I'm sure I'll feel better next week.

Barbados girl - we have been approved since 7th May and are approved for 0-2 years and we want a girl.  I suppose its nice in a way that there are no LGs 0-2 waiting for adoption in our area.  We will be going to the consortium next month.  I hate not knowing whats happening, from our point of view we have seen no profiles, so therefore feel that nothing is happening  I do believe that everything happens for a reason, so believe that the right child will come to us when the time is right.....just wish I had a crystal ball 

Thank you girls! xxx


----------



## watakerfuffle

Caroline s - I can sympathise with you, it's a very difficult time this waiting business! My husband and I are currently in the process for adopting number 2 however so far it's been stop start and stop stop!! So annoying having no contact from a sw and no replys. Anyway I was also at your stage at one time when adopting number 1! I couldn't cope with the waiting at all, it drove me completely mad. Our LA said that there were no lo's suitable for us and then suddenly from know where they did have a lo and then it was all systems go! LO is now our son and all that waiting was nothing in the grand scheme of things. You say you are currently a happy family of 3 so concentrate on that and make the most of quality time together before life gets crazy again!! Good luck


----------



## Caroline S

Thank you watakerfuffle xx


----------



## Barbados Girl

Caroline, even I barely saw any profiles of girls 0-2 and we saw tons of profiles, being with a VA and national from the get go and being in a harder to match category child-wise.

I just think you are going to have to face a longer wait. It is tough when you want something but it is worth the wait.


----------



## DRocks

Caroline hang in there, waiting is just excruciating and I think unless you are there or have been there that people find it really hard to understand.
I think generally there is a real lack of little ones up for adoption and I think it's due to birth families being given second/third chances by the courts. All this is doing is delaying the inevitable which means the children are older when eventually the courts decide enough is enought. At least this is what our LA have been saying.

As for us we are waiting with baited breath and fingers crossed. Our potential matches SW is away on leave and we are not sure when she is returning. I hope we make final selection, in our hearts we feel this may be our daughter (our heads are staying rational though). There is a lot about her "story" which mimics my own start in life and birth family that it's just uncanny.


----------



## GoofyGirl

Hi everyone

Best wishes to those with links. Must feel amazing. 

Well we have been approved for a month and only communication we have had from SW is that he was leaving. He's gone and haven't heard a thing from anyone since.  
Not seen any profiles and we have a reasonably wide matching criteria. Or so our SW said. 

To those who have seen profiles on the national register, are there many profiles of sibling groups aged 0-3? Or single children of same age? Or will we be waiting a long time? We have no gender preference. 
We have to wait with the LA for 3 months (so another 2) before we can go on national register. 

Thanks
GG x


----------



## Barbados Girl

Hi GG, I saw lots of profiles of that age but it tends to depend on your ethnic background x


----------



## GoofyGirl

Thanks BG
We are both white British. Our LA have predominantly white British children (when they have any) but I guess the national register is far more diverse. 
We do get CWW which does have profiles within our criteria but I'm too nervous to pursue anything until we have a new SW. Although haven't seen a profile in CWW that has clicked with us really. 
xx


----------



## chorlton

Hi all - don't forget Adoption Link as another option for seeing profiles.

You can keep your own profile hidden (eg. if your LA is 'holding-on' to you and you don't want to receive enquiries) - this still lets you view all the child profiles, so you know what's out there. You can register here: https://www.adoptionlink.co.uk/register/adopter/start/in_process

You can also see a breakdown of all profiles without even registering, here: https://www.adoptionlink.co.uk/pages/statistics


----------



## Caroline S

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm feeling better this evening.  Today we went to our favourite thinking place, this is the first time we have taken DD, mainly because its our escape place to go on our own and its lots of rocks in the countryside.  Anyway, DH and I were talking, he is 50/50 about walking away from it all.  DD asked us what we were talking about, so we asked her how much she wanted a little sister, would she be happy or sad if we didn't get a little sister for her, etc and basically she said she wanted a little sister, she would be sad if we didn't get her one and she understood that it is taking our SW a long time to find us the right child and that it may still take a long time and it made me realise that we have spent a year preparing her for this, she understands so much about adoption, even though she is still only 3, and it would be cruel to her to now walk away at this stage.  So I'm getting over my sulk, I know it is what we all want at the end of the day, I just need to become more patient!  Thanks again for letting me moan!


----------



## GoofyGirl

Thanks Chorlton I've registered. 
Hoping that when my LA are approached to verify our approval it might give them a little kick!
Glad you're feeling better Caroline. 
I've had ups and downs. Never doubted our decision but do worry about things sometimes. 
xxx


----------



## AdoptionDreams

Hi everyone, hope you are all well!

Our SW got in touch today. She is coming to see us on Thursday afternoon. I'm not sure what to make of it as she said "I don't have a specific child in mind but I will bring a few profiles for us to look over and talk about". I'm trying to stop my mind from racing but it's hard!! Very hard!!! X


----------



## GoofyGirl

Good luck AD hope there's some news after your visit. 

My SW has left but I heard from his manager today. They have a possible match for us but can't tell us anything as they are awaiting the placement order which is apparently imminent. 
Can't wait to see the profile and really hope it is a good match. 
Glad to know we have been thought about behind the scenes. 

It's such a strange place to be isn't it? I'm starting to feel nervous as to what kind of a mother I will be. Whether I'll remember all the parenting reading or whether it will all be forgotten and instinct will kick in. 

Is anyone else feeling like this? Before approval I just felt excitement (and impatience). Now it feels real I'm starting to really wonder how it will be.  
Xxxx


----------



## DRocks

So chuffed that matches are coming through for people 
Hopefully we will all be lucky and they will be our little ones.

We are still waiting to hear if we have made it to final selection


----------



## Beckyboo3

Hello

Haven't really posted much recently as we went to Panel in June and got told about a possible match the day before ! We met SW, FC and Medical Advisor and things were proceeding but unfortunately my DP didn't get the "feeling" when seeing him on the DVD and pictures - I did !! So after much talking we have decided not to continue with the match as we feel it's not fair on the LO and we both got to be 100%.

Informed our SW yesterday and just feel we got a black mark against our name ??!! Nothing been said but just hope they don't hold it against us ?? so feeling a bit fed up now and just hoping to get sent some more Profiles.

Good luck to everyone else with their links and potential matches.

Beckyboo x


----------



## pyjamas

Waiting to hear from SW as to whether the adoption order was granted yesterday for the LO we are interested in. She was going to visit FC and LO today so am hoping to hear from her this afternoon. seems if you aren't waiting for one thing its another! x


----------



## GoofyGirl

Good luck DisneyRocks, hope you're the ones!! 

Beckyboo, hopefully not a black mark as sounds like you did the right thing. Hopefully they will see that. It has to be right for both of you it's the most important decision you will ever make. 

Hi pyjamas, is the adoption order they refer to the same as placement order? 
Sounds like we are in same position. Except we don't know anything about this profile. 

Good luck. 

Me n DH having wobbles this week, feeling very nervous about becoming parents. Also nervous about choosing the right profiles, choosing one or siblings, just so important and so much to think about. So life changing. Still well up for it though.


----------



## Wyxie

GoofyGirl said:


> is the adoption order they refer to the same as placement order?


It will be the Placement Order, not the Adoption Order. The Placement Order is the one in which the Court says the child should be placed for adoption; until they have that, they can't technically look for an adopter, although in practice where the case is clear cut SS sometimes do (and really should imo!) have adopters in mind for young children so they can move forward asap. The Adoption Order is the one you apply for after the child has been home for some months, and which means they are legally your child.

Good luck to all waiting for news at the moment.

Wyxie xx


----------



## Caroline S

Beckyboo - I'm sure they will be fine with your decision, our SW told us about a case where they had their first introduction and the man didn't get the right feeling, so they walked away, they then went on to adopt 3 children.  

Good luck to those waiting for good news!  

As for us, our SW rang Sunday afternoon!!!  to say.....they are still family finding!


----------



## Marley49

Hi everyone.

I'm really struggling with waiting. Our profile has been sent to all local agencies now instead of national register. I had been making enquires on adoption link but can't cope with the whole competition side of it.

I hate weekends at the moment because I know that I can't have any phonecalls! I keep sending my sw random questions just so that I have contact with them. 

Sorry for the moan xx


----------



## DRocks

no match for us


----------



## pyjamas

DisneyrocksH - your little one is out there somewhere. We all understand that this waiting is so damn hard! x


----------



## Dawn7

Hi Girls,

So many updates on here, good and not so good, we are all on such a roller coaster, waiting to get off lol

The ladies who have their children now, keep me going, we'll all get there, eventually.

Disney - sorry to hear ur news hun   xx


----------



## GoofyGirl

Bah sorry to hear that Disney


----------



## Lorella

Hi ladies

Can I join please? We were approved today  
I have been following this thread hoping to join!
We have a potential link but waiting for placement order to go through at the end of the month so fingers crossed. Until then we are gonna relax a bit and look forward to going on holiday. 

Sorry about your news Disney  

Xxx


----------



## Waiting_patiently

DisneyrocksH said:


> no match for us


So sorry to hear that Disney, this game really isn't fun is it


----------



## mafergal

Congratulations Lorella. Sounds like you are in a similar situation to what we were in when we were approved. Fingers crossed for you!

Sorry to hear that Disney


----------



## GoofyGirl

Hi Lorella

Same here, awaiting placement order but haven't seen profile yet. 

Is anyone else considering siblings? Or just single LO?
I always wanted siblings, DH was leaning towards just one. 
Now I'm feeling nerves kicking in and not sure whether 2 is overly ambitious for a first time mummy. I've seen a close family member take on 2 siblings and although they are happy she's told me how hard it is and it worries me. Although all children and mummies are different I fully expect it to be harder than I can imagine. 
SW thinks we'd be fine with 2 and I'm guessing the potential link is for siblings. 
They will both be under 4 years old if so. 
Anyone else wondering about siblings? 

GG xxxxx


----------



## DRocks

It's a rough old game for sure.
Our little one is out there making sure we don't get the wrong child


----------



## Dawn7

Congratulations Lorella! Exciting news about ur link, hope u enjoy ur last hol as a couple 

Goofy girl - We've been linked with siblings, 2 little boys under 3  from the start we always wanted siblings and it helped with having 2 sisters with 2 children each, as whenever we babysat we have always looked after 2 children. So im hoping we'll cope lol
I'm from a large family and if I were to of been adopted I would've wanted to be with my siblings, which is another reason we looked at siblings. I think we'll have it a little easier as if we get approved at MP our children will be coming home at different times.
I have a few friends with 2-3 boys and know they'll support me every way they can, as I know it's not going to be easy, but reading post on here I know it'll be rewarding.

xx


----------



## Jacks girl

Disney huge     so sorry to hear your news   xxx

Lorella well done on being approved and enjoy your holiday.

Well with no news for us and no profiles looking likely on the websites, we are still waiting. Heard nothing from SW. Today is exactly three months from panel so tomorrow our National Register self referral is being sent out. 

Very excited about our holiday so focusing on that. 

Hi to all xxx


----------



## GoofyGirl

Thanks Dawn

Congrats on your link, wonderful.  

Yes I alternate between thinking definitely siblings and then worrying but like you if I were to be adopted I'd really have wanted a sibling with me. 

We've decided to go by the profile that looks best match for us, be it one or siblings. 
If we ever see a profile that is!!! Not forthcoming as yet. 
Xxxx


----------



## Macgyver

Goofy girl


We were approved for siblings and did look at a few profiles but none gave us the 'feeling' but when we saw our sons profile we both knew he was our son and it didn't matter he wasn't a sibling group. We are planning to give him a sibling at some stage through adoption so he will get one someday 
You will know if the child is right for you. People use to say it all the time before we felt it and realised -wow that's what they meant


Good luck to you all xx


----------



## GoofyGirl

Thanks Macgyver

Yes it's hard to imagine seeing "the" LO or LOs for us. 
Must be quite overwhelming. Yes will definitely stick to our plan to go by the profile then. 

Hey Jacks Girl, finally you'll get to see some profiles on the national register then. 
Have a great holiday. 

Xx


----------



## Lorella

Thanks for your congrats ladies 😊x

Goofy girl - we have just been approved for a singleton or siblings. They were happy to accept us for both but did ask us about it. Thing is we are also keen for under two yrs and know that it's hard to find siblings under two. That's why they were happy to approve us for either. Part of me really wants siblings but then another part of me thinks my god it would be hard work! Heart and head!
I am just hoping when see different profiles we will know if right or not 😊. We also would love to keep siblings together xxx


----------



## pyjamas

Still waiting for SW to let us know whether placement order has been granted or not. It is hard having seen profile but not knowing yet if she will be up for adoption or not. It is hard not to get your hopes up but know that it has happened before and we have been disappointed x


----------



## pyjamas

Finally cracked and emailed SW only to receive an out of office auto reply saying she is on annual leave till 28th


----------



## pyjamas

Sometimes you need to make a nuisance of your self to get someone to take notice! I emailed SW boss and explained what we wanted and she emailed back in only a few minutes and said she will find out and let us know......on Monday! oh well, better than nothing! another weekend of waiting and wondering how to pass the time, besides going out and seeing all the mums and dads out having fun in the sun with their children. x


----------



## GoofyGirl

Hi Lorella
Yes we said siblings under 3 but would actually consider 3.5 but do want as young as possible. 
Hoping we will just know when we see the right profile like others have said. 
Congrats on your approval  

Pyjamas hang in there. Hope you get a response today. I'm going to email our SW boss too.


----------



## Lorella

Hi everyone
Phew ... Just had ratification call... So pleased!
We have a meeting tomorrow, with our SW, to look at CPR of potential 5 month old pink! So excited ... Just really hope SW got it right and it's a good match. We have already seen her profile but if course that doesn't tell you much  

Hope everyone is ok xxx


----------



## Dawn7

Lorella - Congrats on ratification and as our sw did, I hope yours has got this right for you too

Exciting times xx


----------



## chorlton

For those struggling with how competitive matching is at the moment, here is a post that mentions a court case from last year that isn't helping:



__ https://www.facebook.com/adoptionlinkuk/posts/265862380268231



...in short, it's harder for LAs to get placement orders at the moment, so there are fewer children. Hopefully this is only temporary.


----------



## Jacks girl

Hi all no word from LA at all. We regularly login to Adoption Link but so far no profiles DH will consider. I think he is holding out for a placement through LA. However, he wants to be on the Adoption Register. We spoke to them and found we weren't on there so are self referring because we expressed interest in the local exchange day in the Autumn. The lady from the register was very proactive and helpful. 
At the moment we are focusing on our holiday as per the advice of the ladies who are now forever Mummies. Like they said it could be our last holiday for a while and it has been nice to focus on something else. I like planning itineraries and brushing up on the local history before I go, as well as all the holiday shopping. I call it HOLMIN!

Hope you fellow ladies for links find them soon.

Hugs, 

xxxxx


----------



## pyjamas

Well we finally had a phone call from SW boss. It turns out that the court hearing for the placement order has been delayed again. First time it was because birth mum did not know who the father was and lots of men were having paternity tests done but SS did not think one would be found. This time it is delayed because they have found the father and he wants either him or his mother to care for child. so we will have to wait for a viability assessment on them to be done. This could take some time! so we are enquiring about some children on Adoption Link although we may not hear back from them very soon either. is it just us or does anybody else feel that nothing ever goes right for them? x


----------



## Miny Moo

Oh pyjamas , I do wish agencies would stop linkinking children with adopters before their placement orders are fully sorted and granted by the courts. I know they want to speed up the process for all concerned but they don't seem to be taking into consideration the heart ache it causes  the potential adopters who have often been through plenty of heart ache to get to the point they are. 

Thinking of you and hope you get your LO home soon, who ever they are the right little one for you will find you x


----------



## mafergal

I totally agree miny moo! I found it quite unsettling to be in a situation where I wanted a placement order issued. I was (somehow) able to detach a bit & stop myself thinking that way & I just hoped & prayed that the correct outcome was achieved for the LO, be that with bf or a placement order. SW's adding their opinion of what they 'think' will happen really isn't helpful either, not in this situation.


----------



## Lorella

Pyjamas - sorry to hear that. We are similar in that we are still waiting for placement order for our link but in the meantime we have already seen CPR and set a meeting date for child's SW to meet us. I just hope that it goes through as expected as will be quite disappointing for us if it doesn't.  

Mafergal - totally know what you mean. I feel bad that I want the placement order to happen as it will ultimately take child away from birth parents. Am trying to remember the outcome will be what's best for LO but I wish they'd get on with it!
Xxx


----------



## pyjamas

We have had some luck with finding children on Adoption Link but now have to wait to see if we hear from any of them! Waiting to hear from SW now she is back from annual leave but its probably best I don't hold my breath x


----------



## Nearly There

Hi Everyone 

I've not been around for a while.  Nothing much has been happening. I'm still looking. I've pursued a couple of enquires and I'm waiting to hear back. 

I'm keeping myself busy, whiling the time away. 

That's it for now. 

All those who are waiting, keep your chin up


----------



## TillyT

Been told today 'no babies' in system/suitable at the mo with our la. It's been just over a month now since approval so in all honesty I'm expecting to have to go on national register in 3 months and who knows if anything will come of that. 

It doesn't really help that only 6 months ago we were told that they had recently had a peak of cases, looks like now in a trough! (If that's the right word!) 
Sorry post holiday blues- kick up the bum and cheer up  

Keep positive everyone waiting, our lo's just aren't ready yet


----------



## pyjamas

Have had a couple of links identified on Adoption Link   and SW has sent them our PAR so we are just now waiting to hear more. What should happen next? x


----------



## Caroline S

Hi girls.


Still no links yet for us,   


They are now going to the consortium and last night we signed up for Adoptionlink.  Tonight we had a look and there isn't really anyone suitable for us, but 1 child is playing on our mind, but is the wrong age, so we have emailed our SW to ask about that.


Although it is tough for us not hearing anything yet, we do know that our LA do not make any links for adoption, until the placement order is sorted, this does save us some heartache.  Still not hearing anything is still frustrating.


We had a meeting this week as our SW is a student, and at the end of her placement, so we are being handed back to our original SW who is coming at the end of August, we don't expect any news by then, so I have told myself that there will be no news until September which is easier to deal with.


----------



## pyjamas

Sent my SW an email this morning and actually got a reply! but still no news to report x


----------



## Beckyboo3

Hi 
Just popping on to say no links for us at the moment ! 

Got a new SW - spoken to her on the phone and planning on meeting after Summer holidays but all seems rather quiet, there seems to be lots of annual leave at the moment ! 

Our son is on school holidays so that is keeping us busy and going to Centre Parcs in a couple of weeks which we love so that's good.

Just hoping turning down that match hasn't put us bottom of the list - sure it hasn't ?!! 

Wishing everyone else well with the waiting x


----------



## dimplesforever

Hi

Can I join you?  I was approved at the start of July and I'm finding the waiting game very tough even though I know it hasn't been long. I have just been allocated a new social worker as my previous sw was a student who's now finished her placement. My new sw seems v nice but I am nervous about having a sw who does not know me very well.  The only good thing is that she only works 2 days a week so my neurotic  checking of my phone and emails has lessened!

Good luck to all


----------



## Nicola30

Hey Dimples,

Me too! We were approved 3 weeks ago and it's been the worst/best but longest three weeks of my life. SW has been on annual leave but came out today to complete our matching agreement and forms for us to be registered on the national register. I was under the impression I/we would have access to the register to search but she said not. She will be hunting for us but has told us we will likely have a considerable wait.

I can deal with waiting, it's the not knowing! If she said bambini will be here in 12 months I would get on with things, but it's the constant checking if emails, jumping when the phone rings. My nerves are done in!!


----------



## Waiting_patiently

Just wanted to say   and hows everyone managing with the horrid waiting game? 

Fortunately were on the linked side now but as you can imagine it doesn't get any easier with the worrying of what if's etc. so we're not all singing and dancing just yet don't worry, looking forward to reading when some more of you get 'that call' or 'that email' it feels like so long in coming but it will, stay sane your lo's will be along soon they just haven't found you yet   xx


----------



## do dreams come true

hi everyone
well we've been approved 5 month now and we are still searching for our little pink the wait seems never ending.
Congrats to all of you have been matched


----------



## waiting for a pink

Hi everyone, 

I haven't posted on here for a while, but have been reading all the posts daily. Last week I emailed our social worker to ask about us going on the register,  and she said she will chat to us when she comes back from annual leave, which is great. Then, just as things always happen, things kick off! We had a call yesterday to say that there was a 12 month old pink whose social worker may be keen on us, but there were a number of couples in consideration.  But today we had a call to say that we have been shortlisted and there are only 2 cojples they are considering,  and we're one of them!!!!!!!!!! We should find out on Tuesday which couple they chose, so its going to be a looooong weekend! I can't let myself think that we might be chosen, I can't imagine getting that call! Eeeekkk!

Roll on Tuesday! 

X


----------



## Macgyver

Wfp


That's great news, good luck and have a great weekend


----------



## pyjamas

Emailed SW on Friday 1st as did not know what was going on with the links on Adoption Link. She emailed back to say she would chase them up. Have heard nothing further from her. The uncertainty and waiting continues.....


----------



## Jacks girl

Good luck watiting for a pink  fingers crossed for you.

We are due to take part in the NR Pilot with our LA and we are on hold for an enquiry on AL (I don't think anything will come of it). 

I have just booked a few days away with a dear friend soon so looking forward to that xxx


----------



## Marley49

Hey everyone,

I have today asked for us to go on the national adoption register.. I can't put up with waiting any more....! 

Has anyone got experience with it? I do really know much about it... Do you still get considered in your own agency?

Xx


----------



## do dreams come true

hi we are too just about to take part in a national pilot with the National Adoption register in September where we have access to the register and can search ourselves.
Really finding it hard these past few days its like searching for a four leaf clover you know its there and the possibilities if ever found.
I work in a school so off for the summer and i thought being off would be great and i'd relax. Totally wrong its given me more time to think and stress over not being matched. Constant email checking on edge when my phone rings i'm like a mad woman   
I really hoped i'd not be going back in September or at least have been matched and waiting for matching panel.
Ah well on wards and upwards   
hope everyone is finding ways to keep occupied


----------



## Jacks girl

Hey DDCT we are too still waiting so holding out for national  pilot. I am off too like you I work in school so I wished for the same but looks like I will be back there soon! My social worker kept saying September and I knew it wouldn't be! Email driving  me mad too lol. In some ways will be glad to get back to routine. xx


----------



## do dreams come true

hi Jacks girl
our sw told us she hopes to have us matched by Christmas, i'm not so sure there seems to to be so many children with a lot of problems who's need we simply cannot meet. I understand that we are not going going to get a child problem free,  just didn't realise how many children there are with life threatening illness.
The weather isn't helping as stuck inside   
I agree at least work bring the routine and takes our minds off things


----------



## pyjamas

Have got an email from our SW (wonders will never cease)! One of our Adoption Link links has been matched with others, another links SW is on holiday. The child we really liked who did not get placement order because birth father wanted to be assessed, Our SW has said the assessment is not going well, but as my husband pointed out, not going well for him or us?! x


----------



## dimplesforever

Well I got a call out of the blue today with a potential link!

I don't have too much info yet.  A lot sounds really positive but there are also a lot of issues to investigate. 

My head is spinning!


----------



## do dreams come true

hi dimplesforever fingers crossed for you    and you hear news soon
i know how you feel
we had a visit from our sw with a profile and DVD of a potential link all positive and have read through CPR tonight. No major problems except 3 month delay but expect they will catch up. The BP have mental health issues and this could be something to watch for in the future.
The PAR is very out of date however as lo is stated not to be sitting up or crawling and this could be a future issue, although in the DVD she is running jumping and a happy thriving child     
Our sw is ringing tomorrow to say we want to proceed further and ask for more updated info as she seems to have progressed so much since CPR was written. But warned us lots of holidays going on at the min   
Soooooooo hard to keep my emotions at bay and my heart


----------



## dimplesforever

Fingers crossed for you too DDCT.

I don't think mine is going to be a match.  The sw said that he is being tested for a rare genetic disorder which she didn't know much about. I've been doing some research into the syndrome and  I don't think it's something I could handle. So I'm crossing my fingers the test is negative for his sake and mine but I don't think it will be. 

On the plus side my family especially my Mum are being pretty wonderful about everything so I'm feeling  lucky in that respect.


----------



## do dreams come true

hi Dimplesforever
that's a shame its scary how many children are out there that have these rare disorders. We have been shown a few profiles of children with life threatening chromosome disorders and its so heart breaking to read.
It really good to have a good support network through all this its emotional and a stressful time.


----------



## Jacks girl

PJs hope that your original link comes up trumps for you     xxx


----------



## waiting for a pink

Hey guys, a lots has been going on with quite a few of us on here recently, it's really nice to read. Alas, our news is not good. We were shortlisted, along with another couple, for a wee pink a few days ago but they were chosen over us. Apparently it was due to the age of our bc. So close, but not for us this time. Soon to be plonked on the national register....fingers crossed. 

Good luck to all and their links so far. X


----------



## do dreams come true

hi Waiting for a pink so sorry to hear this must be so frustrating


----------



## Jacks girl

Sorry to hear about this waiting for a pink. No links for us - the one we had we can't pursue due to lack of bodies to deal with it our end xxx


----------



## mafergal

Sorry to hear that Jacks girl, that is awful and dare I say... shocking x


----------



## Jacks girl

We are kind of used to things not going our way with this journey - it certainly is testing our resolve xx


----------



## DRocks

Had a horrid couple of weeks here.
My mum needed an op and was very ill after but on the mend now.
And then our darling cat was run over and killed which knocked us for six.

We have been on a mini break which we were hoping would be our last as a couple, but at a meeting last week were told it could be upto a year before we find a match  

There was some confusion as the family finding team seem to think that we keep changing our matching criteria, but we have not changed our criteria since before we went to prep group, also that there is confusion about our working situation. It appears our social worker hasn't communicated to the family finding team or infact really listened to us.

We can't help but feel the last four months have been wasted and we have missed out on matches, but can't be bothered to cause a fuss as it won't turn back time.
We are on the adoption register now and have had two potential links come through, our SW is being very proactive about telling us and making enquiries further so we are awaiting one little ones social worker getting back to us. We need some more info before we can decide to proceed.

I'm slightly gutted as I was sure we had already spent our last Xmas together but fear we may have to see another one come around with it being just the two of us.

Hugs to everyone else struggling with the wait x x x


----------



## Jacks girl

Hey Disney was really sorry to hear about the tough time you have been having and was so sorry to hear about your cat  Glad to hear your Mum is now on the mend. We are experiencing 'absences' our end so we feel as time goes on a match is getting further and further away for us. We want an opportunity to discuss with our team where we are and where do we go from here but we will have to wait to see if our rep makes a return soon :/ 


I know what you mean about Christmas Tilly, DH and I have already made plans for Christmas with my brother and my grandmother as we are pretty sure the way things are going we will not have a match this year as anticipated. Next year as my grandmother and I worked out yesterday - DH and I will be into our third year of the adoption waiting game as we started back right back at the beginning of 2013. We have watched people who enquired after us, fly past us to approval and been matched quickly both on adoption discussion sites and in our area. We know its not a race but those simple facts cannot help you feel a bit mis   We have found patience like I don't think DH and I ever knew we had. After everything that has happened in our journey to be parents of a shared sibling for my DS, we just wanted to get there but we still are not there. 

I think we are amazingly strong ladies and I am sending you a big hug     and I hope  and    that one day soon we will get some good news. We deserve it for once! xxxxxx


----------



## Jacks girl

Waiting for a pink - we are in a similar situation to you as we have a BC and we are still waiting too for a match xx


----------



## do dreams come true

hey ladies firstly sending a big    to all of you
this waiting game is really a killer.

Disney so sorry to hear about the rough few weeks you have been through we to have a fur baby and she is our world so i can't even imagine how upset you must be   . Glad your mum is on the mend and continues to improve as the weeks go on.
I know what you all mean about Xmas i hate it have done for a long time, to us xmas is for children and should be magical. When its just the two of us its not the same watching our friends and families with their children wishing we had children to join in.
We were lucky enough to be approved under the new system in just 7 months but to me they seemed to rush us through and then nothing. We have seen lots of profiles and even came close to being short listed but it wasn't to be. 

We are waiting to see if we are short listed for a little pink but i'm not getting hopes up. We find out next week   
I know 5 months isn't a long time to be waiting, but you see we've already waited 14 years to become parents all in all.    But i know we are all in the same place in some way or another.


----------



## pyjamas

Went to London to see a couple of shows and stay in a nice hotel. Its good to get away from all this stress sometimes. Now back, nothing changes, waiting....x


----------



## Jacks girl

http://www.adoptionuk.org/resources/article/promoting-yourself-flyers

My fellow waiting ladies take a look at this. I have been rather bold and daring and gone for it on the advice of FF members who have done it. I did a mass email drop on Friday to all the local neighbouring LAs. I thought its shameless promotion but if it puts us out there it cannot hurt and after all aren't the government encouraging us? xxxx

/links


----------



## Barbados Girl

We did this, it is absolutely the right thing to do. You certainly can and should promote yourself.  Good luck x


----------



## DRocks

Jacks Girl, it's a fab idea!
We did this about three weeks back, fingers crossed something has to work


----------



## dimplesforever

Some better news at my end.  

Was waiting for test results to come back on potential toddler link. Had convinced myself that they would be positive and that if it would be the end of that (I had researched the condition and decided that it was too much for me to cope with).  The test has come back negative which is such great news for him and potentially for me. Now have all my fingers and toes crossed!


----------



## Waiting_patiently

Thats great news dimples forever, fingers crossed you may get your match  

 to those playing the hard waiting game, your lo's are out there they've just not found you yet! xx


----------



## do dreams come true

hi ladies
Dimples forever that's great hopefully you'll here news soon  
well still no news for us about our potential match it'll will be a week tomorrow so given up now and told myself it wasn't to be.


----------



## Nicola30

Hey ladies,

Could do with a moan tonight, I sometimes wonder if this will ever end? Been approved just a month and it feels like a lifetime. Doing everything we should be, leaflets sent to all LA's in country, Be My Parent, AdoptionLink, on national register... And not even a sniff! It's so frustrating, we met up with the couples off our Jan prep group at the weekend and every single one is matched but us, I can't help but feel inferior. 

I have lots of support, but no-one understands this feeling, I work with lots of women my age and they most have children who are young and 1 has this week announced her pregnancy and has been confiding to me that she feels really unsure about it. She realises she is telling the wrong person, and I do sympathise that she isn't over the moon about it but deep down I want to run away and scream. 

Went for lunch with a colleague today, and she needed to call at Mothercare to collect something, obviously I had a look around but I felt so frustrated that I couldn't really look or buy or envisage what things I would even like.

I don't think anyone can appreciate how emotionally draining this process is, except the people on here. Just felt like I needed to have a little moan and a rant and it will help me move on to topping my glass back up to half full 😜

Fingers crossed for any links tomorrow for everyone, our miracles are out there somewhere 
X


----------



## do dreams come true

Nicola    tomorrow is a new day for us and who knows wha it will bring


----------



## pyjamas

Some days its very hard to stay positive! Never thought we would still be waiting. Feels like its never going to happen x


----------



## Jacks girl

Yeah it would be just my luck too at moment! xxx


----------



## Petite One

So it's not just a few of us that think that then...    It'd be fascinating to know what social workers discuss with each other about us lot, then again may be we'd not always want to know.


----------



## Caroline S

Hi girls,

Sorry for not posting for ages, but no news to report here.
Again I find myself on a nightshift feeling down, so decided to pop on!  I'm so glad I did, as I can see that you are all feeling the way I do.  Still no links, but ssen some potentials on adoption link, but due to BC age, we can't go any further.  I hate adoption link as I want all the children and struggle to think with my head, not my heart, so thinking about stepping back from that and leaving DH to keep an eye out.
SW asked us about fostering to adopt, we had said no due to BC, but now I'm wondering if she has a child in mind, in which case we would be prepared to talk to her abit more.  Unfortunately, she is busy and we keep missing each others calls.
I've convinced myself that I will still be at work over Christmas (Christmas Eve night, Boxing day night and New Years day!!!!), there is still time, but just not feeling hopeful at the moment.
We made our first enquiries at the start of 2013 too, we weren't in a rush but were given the impression we would have a link by now, especially as others have said when you see others in the same area start the process after us and already have their LOs home with them     
Glad I'm not the only one feeling this way, so thank you girls!


----------



## Nicola30

Hey girls,

SW been in touch today to says she is going to be off for another 2 weeks (she has more holidays than the queen this one!) so at least for the next 2 weeks I won't be constantly checking on my phone etc...

She called while I was driving home from work, I never let it ring long enough for my system to show me who was calling and just pressed answer - when she said it was her I nearly crashed the car lol. Never mind, false alarm!

X


----------



## dimplesforever

Hi

Now how you feel Nicola about looking forward to a break from checking the phone etc  When my new sw told me that she only works two days a week I thought oh no but actually I think it's been good as I am being more productive on the other days.

Before I was approved I saw people posting about how tough the wait is but never really got it until now.


----------



## Nicola30

Know what you mean Dimples, I thought this would be the easy bit and AP would be the hurdle. How wrong was I?

It will work for us all eventually 🙏


----------



## pyjamas

We are waiting to hear from SW what the outcome of Birth Fathers viability assessment is. We were told it would take about four weeks and feel that the time must be soon up. We are anxious to find out whether the father will be further assessed or will LO go to courts for Placement Order?


----------



## pyjamas

Couldn't wait any longer so emailed SW yesterday afternoon. Turns out that Birth Father did not pass viability assessment but now LO aunt has put herself forward to be assessed. Think we may have to give up on this one  
SW said she may be coming to see us next week with new profile so we will just have to wait and see, and try not to hope too much, and be disappointed again   x


----------



## dimplesforever

Oh it's so tough isn't it Pyjamas.  Fingers crossed this new potential link might be the one.

I  am still waiting to hear what the child's social worker thinks of my PAR. I think my sense of time passing has become distorted. My sister asked if I had heard anything further from sw and I said no, I think it must be a no because it's been so long - then I realised that it had only been 10 days which I guess is not long especially in August. I described myself as patient in my pen portrait - perhaps I don't know myself as well as I thought!


----------



## pyjamas

dimplesforever- I always thought I was patient too, but this is unreal! Every day feels like forever. SW don't help much though as we haven't seen ours for about six weeks and only heard from her yesterday cause I emailed her first. Hope you waiting to hear passes quickly


----------



## Caroline S

We have now been told that if we want a girl 0-2 years we need to look at FTA. Not sure what to do.  Feel like I want to walk away from it all  So hard to know what to do when we have prepared DD for a little adopted sister for over a year now, to walk away feels wrong, but not sure we are ready for FTA. Don't know what to do.


----------



## Waiting_patiently

So sorry to read all your hard storys of the waiting, we were fortunate that we that we only waited a few months but still felt like a lifetime so I really really feel for you all.

That said, is there definitely no flexibility on changing from wanting little girls? I would have of course loved a girl OR a boy and we've been matched with an absolutely gorgeous (biased of course) baby boy and wouldn't change it for the world, I cant help but thinking so many people are stuck on girls, yes many with valid reasons, but then how valid can a reason really be for wanting only one choice of sex, if it was natural conception NO choice could be made so Im struggling to understand why so many are convinced on not changing their choices? for some of you this may be the bit thats stopping you having fantastic matches which seems so sad


----------



## Caroline S

Waiting_patiently - i know what you are meaning and honestly this is something which we have been struggling with for a while. For us, if there was no choice of sexd for adoption, I would be fine for a boy, but we can choose and I have a number of reasons for wanting a girl, mainly as I want them to share a room eventually and have a 3rd child.  So I could have a macth now, but it would feel like settling on a boy and settling on having only 2 children rather than the 3 children I want.  If I could have children then I would be happy with whatever as I could move children around and make them share rooms, but as an adopted child needs their own bedroom, this restricts me.  We may change our mind, but at the moment we want to stick with our wishes because we can make that choice.  I appreciate it is difficult to understand, but we want to stick with what we set out for.


----------



## Nicola30

Stay true to what you feel Caroline, it will all come right 

We've had a similar situation, we have prepared for a little girl 0-12months for a year, our young niece and nephew have been very excited. The week our PAR went to approval committee before panel, SW turned up at 9:30pm to tell us in no uncertain terms, if we stuck with wanting a girl we would be in for a considerable wait. The only reason we said a girl from day knew was because the told us to make a choice and go with what we wanted, after a fraught evenings discussion we changed to "child" 0-18 months. We did however include FTA alongside that.

As we don't have any little humans yet, it didn't matter to much to us what type we got, but explaining to our niece and nephew was much harder than i anticipated. My nephew (the youngest) is feeling very betrayed because he wants to be my only special boy and he thinks we won't love him as much if we get a boy 😁 

Either way, good luck with the decisions you make - I am adamant whatever we get this time I will hold out for the opposite next time 👍 

Have you been searching yourself? I have noticed there is a huge percentage more boys than girls out there, but it only needs 1 to be the one for you ❤

Keep smiling, and it will turn out right in the end.


----------



## Caroline S

Thanks Nicola.  DD really wants a sister and we have involved her throughout the process and she seems happy with the wait, so we need to be more patient!  We have looked on Adoption Link, but I'm struggling too much with that.  I want ALL the children and it breaks my heart when I realise they are not suitable for whatever reason.  I'm now leaving adoption link for DH to look at.  The more we think and talk about it the more we want to wait for the right child, no matter how long that wait is.


----------



## kimmieb

We have had more links through adoption link than through our agency - our Family Finder isn't the best!!

We got through to nearly meeting the SW this week through siblings that we found on adoption link! Got the CPRs yesterday but we don't think they will be our LO's 

We were approved at the end of July and are struggling with all the waiting around now!!


----------



## Marley49

Hey ladies..

Well after 9 months of waiting we have been linked with a 7 month old little blue. I'm trying not to get too excited after already having two failed links but it's so hard not too! Xx


----------



## Waiting_patiently

Marley49 said:


> Hey ladies..
> 
> Well after 9 months of waiting we have been linked with a 7 month old little blue. I'm trying not to get too excited after already having two failed links but it's so hard not too! Xx


Thats great news, fingers crossed all continues well for you, we were linked with a 6th Old blue and we start intros a week on Tuesday... week, he'll be coming home aged 9mths, cant wait! X


----------



## pyjamas

Feeling silly today because I am disgruntled that William and Kate have another baby on the way.   The way its going for us I will have to change my personal text from Hoping to be a mummy in 2014, to 2015!


----------



## GERTIE179

Aww Pyjamas - keep the faith. You will be a mummy it's just then when and I remember how awful that period felt. I know don't think about it. I'm not sure if this will help you but really hope it's some comfort and you will see some sense from it all when the universe works it's magic.
X x x lots of hugs your way x x


----------



## dimplesforever

I was feeling v negative but I've just heard today that there was a selection meeting today and they all felt that me and the little one were a good match. Picking up the CPR first thing in the morning.  Wish me luck!


----------



## Smudgey

Hi all ! Hope I can join this thread ! Approved today , but some history to my story ! 
Back in the waiting game again xxx


----------



## Nicola30

Argh! Can't believe I am actually typing this, but we got a link to an 8 month old blue. Early days, getting CPR on Sunday... 

There was something in the air today, I got to work and declared today was the day I was finding my forever boy - I actually felt like I was losing the plot. To cut a long story short, SW mailed at 4pm, came out to see me at 6pm and I haven't fell off my cloud yet...

I clearly had some kind of sixth sense that today was happening... I realise how odd it sounds but I literally can't stop crying and running away with my emotions. Will put myself back to earth tomorrow but just had to share 👍👍👍


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## Beckyboo3

Congratulations on link must be very exciting ! Can I ask is it FTA or straight adoption ? Thanks x


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## Nicola30

Straight adoption, from out of area and SW did sat if he was one of there's he would have been on FTA - got CPR tonight so excited xxx


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## Caroline S

Nicola - thats great news, congratulations!

Still no news for us, can't see anything happening before Christmas, so moving on with our lives until the magical day happens when we do get a match, so sorry I won't be on here for a while, but I feel I need to distance myself a little.

Good luck to everyone with your journeys.


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