# Greeniebop's Adoption Diary



## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi everyone,

I have read a few of these and love the fact that they are there as something to look back on over the coming months, years etc that documents this journey.

DH and I have come to adoption via three failed attempts at IVF using both donor eggs and donor sperm. We got together nearly 7 years ago and have been married for nearly 3. DH was married before and it was at that time that he discovered that he was infertile. His ex wife got her results which were all clear and basically left, met someone else and was pregnant within 6 months. Her loss is most definitely my gain. DH was open with me from day 1 about his situation but assured me that he wanted to try any way he could to have children. 

Shortly before getting married we decided to put the wheels in motion and sought a referral to our nearest IVF clinic. They confirmed DH's infertility but told me I was in good fertility health and after the wedding we got the go ahead for NHS funding. We went for our injection training etc and spent 4 hours at the clinic. We were the last to be seen for our schedule etc and a lovely nurse broke the news to us that my new bloods had come back showing that I had an AMH level was 5.4....No NHS treatment if under 6. To say we were stunned was an understatement as 6 months previous it had been in the optimum range! They gave me a retest and told me to phone for the results in 10 days which also fell as my Day 1 to start taking the pill. I phoned, spoke to a very unhelpful receptionist who said 'its around the same so you'll need to pay for treatment!' we agreed and I started the pill.

2 weeks later I got a call at 5.10pm on a Friday from the embryologist wanting to check if we were happy to go ahead with donor sperm if my AMH was undetectable!!!! This was the first I had heard of it. The poor embryologist was beside herself as she had been told we knew. I remember collapsing in a heap at the bottom of the stairs sobbing my heart out as I didn't know what else to do as DH stood by looking helpless. She got us an appointment with the consultant the next week and to say he was completely unsympathetic and uncaring was an understatement. He simply said: 'you have less than 10% chance of it working so I wouldn't bother. You use donor eggs or you adopt but we don't don't offer donor egg treatment so you look at Bristol or abroad. All the best.' I remember walking out and promising myself I would not cry in that hell hole and I held it together until we got to the car. At that moment I felt like our world came tumbling down around us.

Anyway, me being me wasn't going to let the evil one keep me down so we appealed to our PCT for funding for donor treatment. Yet more cock ups including our GP writing on the letter that we both already had children....where? under the stairs?!!! Despite appealing twice we were turned down as they couldn't get their heads around the fact that despite having less than 10%chance with my eggs we were appealing for funding using donor eggs!! In the end I lost all faith in the NHS and we gave up and looked abroad. We ended up going with the Isis clinic in Cyprus. The Dr was great, he asked lots of questions and emailed up promptly and so we ended up there in August 2010 for our first cycle. The place was amazing and state of the art and we were really well treated but I struggled being so far from home and we made the mistake of turning it into a holiday. We got a BFN and so decided to go for a FET in Jan 2011. Treatment still good but felt a bit more like a number this time. Did Devon to Cyprus, treatment and home again in 3 days....never again! Was absolutely convinced this time it had worked but got another BFN. Was devastated. We decided to go for one last go and in July 2011 we went back. This time the lovely embryologist dealt with us. Dr zoomed in did the transfer and then left. Considering how much this treatment was costing I was disappointed by this experience. This time I knew it had failed, cramping and some spotting. So we booked an amazing holiday and took some time out to heal.

In October DH said he felt ready to look into adoption (I was already there). In December we went to an information afternoon but were told that we would have to wait 12 months after treatment. So disappointed but knew they were the experts. In January 2012 we got a follow up call from a SW who came out to visit us and said that they were happy to proceed as it would be 12 months by the time we got on the prep course. We were ecstatic. We filled in a form and were told that we would hear within 2 weeks to confirm that devon LA would take us on and that we would be booked onto the June prep course. well 3 weeks later and no call....Head SW on holiday so all ground to a halt. The following week we got the call, they were thrilled to take us on but the delay had meant that the June course was full and we are now on Sept but reserve for June.

So thats our story so far. I am under no illusions that this is going to be an incredibly hard journey but I know in my heart that this is absolutely the route for us. I am pleased that we tried IVF so that we would never look back and say 'what if'. Generally I am at peace with my infertility but my gosh there are days when it hits me like a brick wall. I am pleased to say that these days are getting fewer and far between. We have told close friends and family about this journey and their support has really humbled me. So its onwards and upwards.

Thank you for reading (if you have). For me this feels a bit like therapy!!!

Greenie x


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Well our SW must have a sixth sense and heard my pleas. She has just phoned to tell us that we have got a place on the June Prep course. So so happy. Only 2 months to go. She said that she will send out application next month and then once it goes in it triggers the 8 month guideline. Just told best friend and she was squealing down the phone!!!!


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## Emma-is-a-mummy

That's great news honey welcome to the journey, we're on prep course in may I'm counting the sleeps lol. 

Xxxx


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi Emma,

Good luck with the prep course. You sound just like me....counting the sleeps. x

Well its amazing how 1 phone call can really give you that lift! I have finally made a start on my marking ( one and a half sets of books marked, 2 sets and 2 sets of coursework to go)and have invited the folks and grandparents over for dinner Easter Sunday so I have been looking at recipes and have settles on a Jamie Oliver beef and ale stew with dumplings....fingers crossed its a success. 

Just looked back at first post and didn't realise how long it was but feeling so much better for getting it out of my system. Think this diary lark could be a really positive step.

Have a wonderful Easter xxx


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Well, we have just had the email confirming that we are on the June prep course!!!!!! They are sending application form and ID checks out to us in a couple of weeks and have said that we should fill in as much as we can and then the social worker will collect and get the ball rolling. So happy, its all starting to feel really real now 

Just had a lovely catch up with a friend that haven't seen in ages and we are going to start going to an exercise class together. Really chuffed as worked hard to lose weight and people are starting to notice which has given me the incentive to continue. A leaner me ready for the beach!!!!

x


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## flickJ

Yeah, that's great news - you're really getting going now  

Congrats on the weight loss!


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Hi FlickJ - Not long till your interview is it? wishing you all the best with that x


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## flickJ

Greeniebop - we had our interview last week (my fault, should have put the date) 

It seemed to go really well and we are just waiting for that phonecall/letter   The interview was on the 5th, but there was the Easter hols inbetween so I have no idea when to expect the news. Thanks for your good wishes though


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

we had to wait nearly a month for our call so fingers crossed its nice and soon for you


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## KJB1978

Good Luck with your journey Greeniebop


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Well today is a very good day so I am feeling the need to type in orange  

After the s****iest of weeks I arrived home with a terrible headache and ready to crawl into bed and feel sorry for myself when I saw a mat full of post. Normally its bills etc but today was the invite to the prep course and the fab news is they have moved venues and it is now closer to home so no need for a hotel  

As if that isn't great enough, there was an even thicker envelope and inside was our application form and notification that our SW is the lovely lady who did our initial visit. Basically we have to fill in sections on this and the medical form, find our ID documents, phone her and she will come out and complete application and submit it....woo hoo!!!!!!!! Have just had to order a copy of birth certificate as realised I lost it years ago at uni so that is done and now it all feels real.

Anyway, I was fit to burst so had to share it/write it down!!!!!!! Think our weekend is now planned      

Greenie x


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## flickJ

Oh, that's fantastic news - I am so pleased for you, roll on June


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Well since my last post things seem to have gained pace!

Our SW came around to collect forms and within a week we had phone call from GP to book medicals ASAP, CRB underway and our 3 referees have had questionnaire sent to them with instructions to get it back ASAP. I had forgotten to include my photo so SW left a message saying it was urgent that we got it to her. Really starting to feel real and moving so much quicker than we thought. SW said once we complete our prep course in June, we'll be allocated SW and home visits should start within a couple of weeks!!

Yesterday one of our referees emailed us his reference and we both cried reading it. We have been overwhelmed by the support of our friends and feel like everyone is rooting for us.

Anyway lots of lovely men on the TV in shorts (soccer aid) so think I shall resume watching them.

Greenie xxx


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## Maccer

Hi Greenie,

It's great news, that things are coming together so quickly for you.  Long may it continue, roll on your prep course.     

Maccer x


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Thanks macer, how are things with you post approval?


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## Maccer

Hi Greenie,

Its great thanks, but the waiting can be very frustrating, we are one of many couples out there that are constantly watching our phones hoping for some good news.  

We really enjoyed our prep course and I hope you will too.

Good luck,

Maccer x


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Well it's been absolutely ages since I last posted. 

We completed the prep course. Home study done an PAR finished. Now it waiting time until oct panel. 

SW has been great, we really like her and she has been so positive about things. Fingers crossed she's right.

Not sure if anyone else is out there but if so, I hope things are going well x


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## someday

Greenibop we are both October panel! Let's hope October brings lots of good news for both of us.xxx


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## Billybeans

Wow your adoption journey has been so quick, your SW sounds amazing and on the ball to get things moving which is fantastic, not long til panel now for you.
I ams orry you had to go through some tough times to get where you are now but everything happens for a reason I believe and this path was meant for you.
I have just been reading your signature and we have been ttc for similar amount of time.I am not yet on the adoption journey for various reasons but I think I may be one day soon,
xx


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Well its been a while since I last posted so thought I should. DH is away for the weekend so it gives me a chance to catch up on things.

The wait post approval is so hard. Our SW who has now moved on was so positive and said at panel that we would be matched quickly etc etc but its January and no match I know, in the grand scheme of things its not long at all but when all you can do is wait, it feels like forever. We came close, expressed an interest in a LO only to be told a few weeks later that his profile shouldn't have been released yet as he's not ready for adoption.  SW is lovely and said when we saw her in Nov that they have lots of LO waiting for court time and that we (amongst others) are being considered. At least with our LA there is no competitive matching. I just keep reminding myself that its been christmas, court time is precious and that our LO (or LOs) is out there and when the time is right we will find each other......doesn't make DH and I any less impatient.

How did you all find the wait? Any tips? We went away for New Year and are thinking about a little break over Feb half term to try and keep us busy.

x


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## nutmeg

No advice Greenie, just some


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## Greeniebop is a mummy

Thanks nutmeg. How are things with you? When is LO coming home? X


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## nutmeg

She's been home with us since Wednesday, keep holding on there, you WILL soon be a mummy and all your dreams will come true


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