# Family members as donors



## mekongirl (Sep 28, 2008)

I am new to all this and read through all the posts and  have taken a lot away.

We have just been told that I have a poor egg reserve due to my high FSH ans low AMH and would not be able to use my own eggs during IVF. 

Kindly my sister in law has said that she would be willing to be a donor, and i cant begin to thank her.
But i still have issuse with using a close family member and so scared of what might happen in the future.

I was just woundering if any one has had the same experince as me, cause i would love some help and advice.

Thanks Anita


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## sallywags (Jun 27, 2005)

Not sure where you are having tx hun, but what is your fsh? I have jsut had a bfp with an fsh of 17.3 - despite this being above the clinics limit. I have a fabulous consultant who didn't mention my latest result!

Our other option was eggs from my sister. I think there are lots of things to think about here. firstly, once i was lucky enough to have one DD with my own eggs, it made me realise that using hers would be much more difficult.

The other things i considered were:

How she would feel about me having 'her' baby. (she would be fine by the way!)
How I would feel about having 'her' baby....(never quite fathomed this one out..)
How would my dh feel..
How would HER dh feel (i only realised this might be an issue later on in the process!)
How all other siblings/cousins etc may feel.

Now a lot of these question s may come up with a 'not a big deal' kind of answer, but i thought they were important at the time.  I was fortunate enough that i didn't end up having to explore this any further, but it's a wonderful gesture from your SIL, and it could end up being the answer you need.  good luck hun.


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## Essex Girl (Apr 3, 2005)

Hi Anita

I have a DD from my sister's eggs.  We did the Tx in March/April 2007 so if you look back you will find earlier posts from me.  It worked very well for us, but my sister insisted from day 1 that she was giving an egg, not a baby, and that the baby would be mine and not hers.  I believe there can be problems if the donor thinks of the baby as hers.  My sister already had her own children, which helps (and also proved that she was fertile!).  You will need to discuss how you will all approach the issue, what you will tell the child and any children your SIL has, the feelings of your SIL's partner, who else in the family will be told etc.  We had a series of counselling sessions before starting, which was useful.

I wish you all the best with your TX 

Essex Girl x


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

WE have twins with eggs donated from a friend, so it's somwwhat similar. Again, my donor had completed her family, and we talked through any potential issues via counselling.

One aspect of using a known donor I hadn't thought of, was the unpleasantness of seeing her suffer the jabs, ET, and OHSS after, also her sadness and flat feeling when the fresh cycle was a BFN.

GL!

xx


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