# Found Xmas Day hard?



## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I've found this Xmas v difficult with lots of quiet tears to myself today, and its 7 yrs since my Dec miscarriage. But everywhere I look ** its all my friends Nd their kiddies etc its so hard and I'm pleased for people but it hurts so much more. 
How have you coped?


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## Dudders (Jun 18, 2012)

It's a tough day in these shoes hun.  Apart from a quick look first thing and some messages to friends I've stayed off ******** as it's inevitable that it will be plastered with kiddie pictures of one form or another so it's easier not to torture yourself.  And generally in terms of getting through the day I've spent most of it in the kitchen peeling, cleaning, clearing, dishing up, making drinks under the guise of giving my mum a break.  With guest numbers in double figures there was plenty to keep me occupied!  For the most part I managed to keep my mind off the big bump I should have had.  A few tough moments when my sister's inlaws were asking how I was.  To be honest I almost felt guilty though because they see it as on a par with their loss ... of their son aged 16 or so, and although it's not a competition I think their loss is worse than mine.

To be honest I am dreading today more with a visit to my inlaws as I know that I will be questioned and pitied by almost two dozen people.  Plus someone is bound to grill us on our future plans    To contend and cope with this one my solution will be alcohol!!

Lots of hugs xx


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## D500D (Feb 10, 2012)

Alcohol and more alchohl every Xmas I think don't worry next year will be different but it never is. So I commit myself to being stinking drunk as you can never cycle over xmas


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## Mrsball (May 10, 2013)

I feel your pain. 
My husband and I both can't wait for this season to be over. It's everywhere you turn and all our friends have children. No one really understands how we feel other than people on here. I feel like I just want to lock myself away from the world. 
I also received some bad news on Xmas eve around our fertility and have a stinking cold so that doesn't help matters. 
I have no advice! But hope and pray our next Xmas will be better 
X


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## Bumble Bus (Apr 23, 2013)

Hi ladies, I am with you, it stinks. I find it a difficult time of year for obvious reasons with no children. We also started TTC naturally at this time of year and I remember the hope and optimism we had which is now painful to remember. We also found out that my DH has no sperm at this time of year.

I have been torturing myself thinking of how many weeks pregnant I would be if either of my ivf cycles had worked. If #1 worked we'd be just about viable by now. If #2 had worked we'd be 11 weeks ish and on the verge of telling people.

I have never lost a pregnancy and I count myself lucky as I know it must be so much worse to be in that position. I cannot imagine.

I had a cry at bedtime on Christmas Eve but since then been busy and done ok. We are also v lucky we don't have any children to contend with in our family at the moment. I take my hat off to anyone who keeps it together in that situation.

Hugs ladies and let's hope 2014 has good things in store for us.

x


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I hope that everyone gets their dreams come true in 2014 - hugs to you all xxx


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## Froggy82 (Nov 8, 2012)

Hi Ladies,

I feel exactly like you. On Xmas day, I had to sit and listen to long conversations about pregnancy, giving birth and babies. A week before, I was at a dinner with 5, yes 5 pregnant women around me, some even drinking alcohol…

This year was tough. In the last month we had a failed IVF cycle and we learned that my eggs were too old, all that 2 days before my 31st birthday… And here comes christmas for another blow in the stomach.

But January is coming very soon, so hopefully we can put the horrible past year behind us and be excited about the new stages.

Wishing you all that your wildest dream comes true in 2014.
xoxo


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## EmWills (May 26, 2013)

Hi ladies

I'm glad I found this thread, I found Xmas this year the hardest of them all. I have a 7 month old nephew (who I love dearly) and my other sister in law is 37.5 weeks pregnant, so spending time around my immediate family has been really tough as we had our 2nd failed icsi beginning of December. I cried myself to sleep every night and drank far more than I should have. 

Friday was my grandmothers bday so at her party I had to listen to my younger cousins with children, 1 was 19 months the other 3 weeks tell me how when we have kids we'll understand how tired they are and how hard kids are so enjoy the peace. I left in tears and spent my weekend in hiding because I've had enough of putting a face on for others. 

I hope you are all feeling better and I'm sure 2014 will be our year   

Em xx


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## danceintherain (Apr 16, 2013)

Thank you for starting this thread. Have felt quite alone this christmas, I think it's the worst time of year for those of us struggling with infertility. All of my close friends have babies now, as do my both my brother and sister, and they all understandably chose to spend christmas with their new families. My husband and I just spent a quiet day together, which was nice but tinged with sadness. ******** is the worst on days like this! 

Hugs to everybody    xxx


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## Gothictulip (May 23, 2013)

Xmas day itself didnt seem that bad apart from uncontrollably crying at Tangled ( when they light all the floating candles ) I really couldn't help myself. Disney movies play havoc with my hormones . i'm such a tough cookie really 

The time since xmas has been really depressing. My sister tagged me in a video ( on Smugbook) of my  11 month old niece walking about with her christmas toys..... Trying really hard not to get upset. It also doesn't help that my AF has turned up with full force and i feel like i'm going to collapse and those bottles of wine are looking far too tempting. 

Rant over 

Random question of the day : Anyone else think my inlaws are weird as they don't do pigs in blankets at Christmas day ?


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## Mrsball (May 10, 2013)

Would actually disown anyone that doesn't do pigs in blankets Xmas day!!!


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## Gothictulip (May 23, 2013)

I'm glad it wasn't just me being odd, all the people at work think my in-laws are weird too - no pigs in blankets at Christmas - utter sacrilegious


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## Owly (Dec 10, 2013)

Ha Ha Gothictulip "Smugbook" - I like it - just logged in to ** to be confronted at the top of the page with new picture of friend's enormous bump - and then all the other smug people who already have kids putting up their Xmas photos, grrrrr!!!


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## Owly (Dec 10, 2013)

P.S. pigs in blankets are absolutely the best bit of Christmas dinner


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## Gothictulip (May 23, 2013)

Love it Owly   
apprently there is a hide button on smugbook so you dont see people status. my other half uses it all the time . He was getting sick of people photos of kids

 Smugbook does really sum it up . Over the festive period it was really start to get on my nerves. i havent been on for a few days as apparently it is the new year and everyone is wishing new year wishes and saying how great their 2013 was. 

2013 as i found was utter rubbish and i was so glad to see the back of it . Hopefully 2014 is going to be better . Hope everyone else has a better festive time   and try to stay of Smugbook as it will just make you cry and/or want to scream


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## Louisej29 (Nov 19, 2012)

Hi girls

Feel exactly the same as all of you- what a difficult time of year. Last Xmas eve we had our first mc so found this year sooooooo hard- dh and I spent the day on our  own and avoided everyone with children.  All our families understood why this year after 2 mmc and a failed ivf inbetween.  have 5 little nieces and nephews ( all born since we've been ttc- the youngest only ten days old-). Just could not do it this year.  Sometimes you have to put yourself first!

Smug book!!!  What a great name for it.  I have soo many peoples newsfeed blocked and others on restricted so don't see their updates!  Stuff still gets through though- I've just gone back on it after a 2 week break which was nice.  

No pigs in blankets on Xmas day is shameful!!!

Good luck to everyone in 2014.  Hope it's the year your dreams come true xxxx


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## Mogster (Nov 1, 2012)

Hi everyone,
I actually thought I was doing quite well over the xmas/new year period. Everyday we were surrounded by children (5 nephews and 1 niece) and then I met up with my best friend who has had baby number 3. Also managed to get out of a meal round a friends house where there would have been 8 children. Until I found out today that my DH SIL who is so unsympathetic is expecting number 3. I'm glad I didn't know when we were altogether but now I'm going to have to try and avoid her. She is the kind of person who talks nonstop about being pregnant and is forever pulling up her top and exposing her bump so she can rub is in everyone's faces.  I seem to find it harder around pregnant people as apposed to babies so it's going to be a tough time ahead for me! 

Oh and I love the hide option on ********. Means I can refrain from torturing myself by staring at scan photos etc!

Wishing you all happy 2014 whichever path you are on x


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## M0ncris (Aug 25, 2013)

Hi Ladies,

I totally agree, it was really tough,  I cried several times (also at tangled).  Dh hid the fact that Up was on over the period as I am inconsolable in the first 5 mins.

Alcohol helped enormously, lots of hugs on the sofa and being honest about having a tough time and spending it together how we wanted to.  I am not really on smug book so that also helps v much.  Ranted on another thread to (as Louise can attest).  It's just a v v hard time of year, but much easier now that its done.

Hats off to all you ladies for getting through it.  

Pigs in blankets rule! 

M
X


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## ♥JJ1♥ (Feb 11, 2006)

I hope that 2014 is a better year for us all xxx


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## becky70 (Dec 28, 2009)

DH and I actually watched Up and had a little cry together. Love that film! My SIL is pregnant but does not live nearby so not had to struggle with that. DH's parents (my SIL is from my side of the family) are elderly and we base our Christmas around them as they may not have many more left.
We aren't having any more treatment after 5 failed cycles but sounds like many of you are - if so, hope 2014 is your year, and if not hope 2014 brings you lots of other good things.


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