# How do you cope when everyone around you is getting pregnant



## Gypsy (May 1, 2007)

People often ask if I want children and my normal answer is yes we do. What my mind is screaming is what a stupid question to ask me, we've been trying for over a year, I'm on clomid etc etc. Of course people are just asking a harmless question, but to someone who is ttc, it's a question we dread.

I lost my first child at 5 months and decided to try again in 2006. I've been on clomid for 5 months and have decided to give myself a break this month. It's been so stressful having to bd on tap and have found we argue more than bd. My partner has two children already who I love but sometimes it gets me down knowing someone else has had children with my partner.

I don't know anyone in the same boat as me and just wanted to know that I'm not alone.  Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.


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## Mrs Chaos (Feb 12, 2004)

Hi Gypsy
welcome to FF.
I am not in exactly the same situation as you, but know how you feel in some way, as my dh has a dd with his ex, and it does get to me sometimes that I am unable to have "our" child. I am so sorry to hear of your loss 
I do have a ds from my previous relationship, and that is then hard for my dh...and so the circle goes round.
All I can say is try and stay strong and positive, and keep talking, as I know how difficult it is with arguments getting in the way.
We've been ttc for over 10 years now, and we've had some humdinger rows over the years, but eventually you learn to cope...some days better than others.
I've had clomid some years ago and it affected me quite a bit, and my moods from the clomid, coupled with my emotions at the time, made things 10 times worse, so hang in there.
Wishing all the best for your journey and sending 
take care
Lotsa love
Gayn
XX

You may like to check out the Clomid board, here is the link for you 
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=34.0


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## ♥samonthemoon♥ (Apr 2, 2007)

Hi Gypsy!

Glad to see u made a post hunny  i really do understand... when people ask if me and my other half want children i find it easier to just say.. yes in time.. i find it stops them from prying too much. u should join the girls on the 2ww board... a real lovely bunch and you'll get soooooo much support over there i promise 

Really hope to hear more from u soon hun 
                                            sam xxx


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## Gypsy (May 1, 2007)

Thank Gayn for your words of support. 

Your 10 years of ttc puts my year in perspective. It's such an emotional roller coaster of a journey, I don't know how couples make it through.  My whole life seems focussed on having a child and everyone around me is getting pregnant which doesn't help.

I wish you luck on your journey as well   

Take care xxx

Thanks Sam for encouraging  me to post on the boards. Hope everything is going well for you, keep me posted.

xxx


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## ♥samonthemoon♥ (Apr 2, 2007)

Hi again gypsy,

Hope ur feeling a little better latelly? i've been filling my days with stuff.... work and the pub mainly to try and take my mind off it all this month!! i'm really trying to stay positive this month too..... i'm finally back on a regular 28 day cycle so i'm really hoping and praying that it helps  hope to see more from u soon hunny
                                              sam xxx


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## SUSZY (Nov 3, 2006)

Hi gypsy
Welcome to FF and please do come over the the daily chat thread.
its a very difficult one when everyone around you is getting preg and I wish I had the answer.
Having spent the last four years watch all and sundry get preg I would like to say it gets easier and sometimes it does as in mostly after 2 or three people stop and as I have seen all my anetenatal people have their second and thirds it should ease off a bit.
I think we are so sensitive to it and to other peoples silly comments.
One of the ones I use now when they ask when we are having another is you could not have asked me a worse question (this is if they are slightly family related/friend and should know the story.
Also clomid is quite hard on one and I remember being quite bad on it and crying every month.
anyway good luck and see you on the boards
take care
susie


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## lola C (Jun 16, 2007)

Hi Gypsy

I'm new here too.  My way of dealing with other people's pregnancies is to remind myself that it my baby I want not someone else's so I might be slightly jealous of someone's pregnant state, but, nothing personal, I don't want their baby, I want one of my own.

Someone on another website gave me that nugget of advice and it has worked really well for me, especially as there seem to be so many people around  me having baby number 2 or even three!   

HTH


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## sarahlou (Apr 26, 2004)

Hi there

I know what you mean...in the last 3 weeks i have found out my best friend is expecting her 3rd (1st month of trying) and last night found out my sister was 9 weeks preg and it was an accident!!!  On the way home I kept asking why cant we be like that?  Why is it always so damm hard for us and easy for others!!!?  Just have to keep thinking our time will come (hope is all we have left to hang onto!!!)

Wishing you all the best and loads of baby dust.....

Sarah


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## nanook (Jul 27, 2007)

Hiya, its so hard.  Although Ive got One child people always ask me 'dont you want another one?' or even decide they should inform me how they think its unfair to have One child on their own - Im sick to the back teeth of having to explain my situation, which has nothing to do with anyone anyway.  

I went through the Clomid stage a while ago - hated the stuff, it used to make me feel really drugged up and unable to do anything properly. Even worse was Metformin which made me go mental for no reason - uncontrollable crying and feeling so angry, like the worst case of PMT ever but constantly.  After I launched my mobile phone through my glass front door I called my GP who advised me to stop taking it immediatley!

Glad we're through that stage but am getting more and more impatient wondering why it just isnt happening for us!!

x


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## nanook (Jul 27, 2007)

Sorry went off subject a bit   my friends are on their 3rd/4th babies - I see some of the people we went to ante natal classes with 5 years or so ago with their 2nd/3rd one... totally feel the odd ones out. Its horrible. I dont know how you cope with it just try your hardest not to dwell on it and just be happy for them I soppose!! x


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## ♥ Sarah ♥ (Jan 5, 2005)

lgft said:


> .... Hide whenever, whereever I can ...
> 
> One day at a time ...


Ditto..... only way to get through... 

Sarah x


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## nanook (Jul 27, 2007)

Hi Sarah I got married in Cancun have you been there before??  Its lovely! we stayed at a place calle dthe Moon Palace, it was lush!


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## ♥ Sarah ♥ (Jan 5, 2005)

Girls,

I've just noticed that i've posted on the secondary fertility board  .

Didn't realise  .

Hi Nanook   ~ Ohhh that must have been fab  , have seen the Moon Palace in the brochures/on the net, paradise.  This will be our fourth time there, we love the place, .  

x


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## nanook (Jul 27, 2007)

Its pretty cool isnt it?? have you been swimming with the Dolphins? that was good.  Id love to take my son but he's only 5 and I dont think he'd handle the flight too well.x


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## ♥ Sarah ♥ (Jan 5, 2005)

Yep, we swam with them at the Aquarium at La Isla Mall, was quite emotional i found, mind you owt sets me off!  

It's amazing how many young kiddies you see on the flights, think as long as you take a ton of toys you'd be fine!  

x


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## nanook (Jul 27, 2007)

Maybe we'll go for our Tenth wedding anniversary in Three years. Would love to stay at the moon palace again so itll take a lot of saving up hey!! in the meantime Im looking forward to going back to Disney Paris next Feb - its meant to be a surprise for ds but Im rubbish at keeping secrets!!  lol


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