# pain during embryo transfer



## mihu (Oct 20, 2008)

hi everyone 
would really like some advice, i had my fet on 8th feb. I have had one previous attempt at icsi which was bfn abd during that transfer i did have some discomfort but this did subside.This time however the nurse said the opening to my womb was very small and the pain i was in was excrutiating to the point i was gripping the bed, after three attemps she finally decided to use a finer catherter.
I know its only four days later but the pain is still bad, has anyone else experianced this? 

i am now convinced its going to be a negative result purley from the pain im in !!!! 
would really appreciate your help xxx


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## tinydancer811 (Jan 25, 2010)

Hi Mihu,
My ET 2 weeks ago hurt too.  Dr said it's because I had a tight cervix (the more I stressed and clamped up, the worse the pain).  He even broke the first catheter and then moved onto a finer one.  I didn't fall pregnant but I don't believe that was because of the tight cervix.  Dr said the transfer went well in the end, he just had to work a little harder!  Did your Dr tell you why it hurt so much?  I was still a little sore for a few days afterwards but it subsided.  Am now all nervous about the next one hurting too!  Hoping he'll sedate me!!
Good luck!!  Keep us posted x


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## JuliaG (May 4, 2006)

I have always suffered during ET and found them really painful, i was sedated for this last tx


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## mihu (Oct 20, 2008)

hi 
Thanks for your replies, its nice to know im not on my own! 
The nurse who did the transfer just said my cervix was very tight. The pain is subsiding now im just getting period pains now. Test is sunday 21st feb so wish me luck. If this doesnt work will defo ask to be sedated next time !!!! 
thanks so much for your help xxxxxxxxxxxx


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## JuliaG (May 4, 2006)

good luck hun


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## tinydancer811 (Jan 25, 2010)

Absolutely!!  Sending good vibes your way and let us know the result


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## mihu (Oct 20, 2008)

hi girls , well ive got a bfn AGAIN !!!!! 
I JUST CANT BELIEVE IT im so gutted and feel such a faliure as a women, wife, daughter but i just knew it would be negative. I really think im never going to be mum i feel so emotionally drained. DH is so gutted and i blame myself even though i know its not my fault. im convinced he will leave me eventually cos i cant give him a child. i know no one can make this pain go away and in a few weeks i will start to feel better, but i know that even then the sadness never leaves me. i will have another attempt but no more embryos left now so will have to be icsi. i want to be a mum but am so scared of going through it all again. 
Anyway had to get this off my chest as no one understands the way i feel except you guys xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## curlyclair (Feb 5, 2010)

Im so sorry for you hun and I know how you feel, but please believe you are NOT a faliure !!!!!!!! in any way shape or form!!!!!!!! You are a strong woman who has the balls to go through this treatment time and again because you want to have a child!!!

It's hard to comprehend how hard this is for us ladies who have to travel this journey of IVF/ICSI/FET etc but the burnng desire that keeps us going is that of being a mother and in my opioin we will make the best ones because we want it so much   

Your DH will not leave you because he wants a child, he married you not you're womb!!! and if that is the case well he is not worth the emotional stress you are causing yourself hun,
Take some time to grieve and feel sad, but please believe it's not your're fault it was just not meant to be this time hun. You can do it again in time and it will work!!!!  

Lots of love and hugs


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## Jeps (Jan 9, 2006)

HI Mihu

SO sorry to hear it wasn't good news this time.  Just in answer to your original question which may help with your next treatment, my clinic does dummy ETs to see if there are going to be any problems when they come to doing the actual thing.  When I had mine with my first round of IVF it was excruciatingly painful.  They had to stop in fact as I was in so much pain. They told me it was because my cervix was tight and so a few days before the proper ET they gave me a dilapan, which is basically a tiny stick that they put in your cervix and it slowly expands over the course of a few hours.  It hurts a bit (like having period pain for a few hours) but it totally worked and my ET was totally pain free, and it lead to a BFP too.

I'd request this next time if I were you as there's no way you should be enduring such pain on such a crucial day.  

Jxx


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## Bibi (Oct 29, 2007)

Hi Mihu

I just wanted to send you lots of  . Its so unfair isn't it. I was sedated for this ET and did get a BFP. My 1st ET wasn't great but my 2nd was terrible, I ended up in tears and as it was a Sat, they called in a 2nd consultant which took about 30 mins. So this time I opted for sedation and I definitely felt much better. I would really recommend it! I do feel it helped me get a BFP, I was more relaxed and was flat and a sleep for at least an hour after ET.

I so hope you get your dream soon  

Bibi xx


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## tinydancer811 (Jan 25, 2010)

Oh sweetie, so sorry to hear.  It's incredibly disappointing isn't it?  I'm going along on the journey too and got a BFN 2 weeks ago.  I understand the failure thing as you see it being so easy for others, but I'm hoping as we get some distance from all this a few years down the track that we'll be able to get perspective and not see ourselves as failures, because deep down we know we're not.  I try to view this as a race to a finishing line.  We've left the starting blocks, have fallen over a few times and have even had to go backwards, but hopefully there's an end in sight for us and it will be all the more rewarding because we've worked harder than anyone to get there!

Go and do something that pregnant women can't do....eat a pile of lysteria filled cheese, have a drink, stay out until late, enjoy a caffeine-laden coffee...I find that helps  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## Hopeful4712 (Mar 1, 2006)

mihu and everyone

so sorry to hear your news. We all feel for you and know what you're going through. Most of have been through this pain or we wouldn't be on this site. You're amongst friends.

i'm testing tmrw morning (Friday) and am terrified. I'm just hoping i get through today without bleeding which i've never managed to achieve before. I've been trying for 10 yrs and this is my 6th and final cycle of treatment. I cannot put myself through the emotional pain any longer because it is just so hard. 

Take time to grieve Mihu... it does hurt but then take the next step, whatever that might be for you.

Hopeful
x


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## mihu (Oct 20, 2008)

hi everyone , 
thank you so so much for all your replies it has helped so much to know in not on my own !!!!! I still feel sad but not so lonely now ive found people who are in the same situation. We so need each other because although people offer you words of advice they have no idea what its like for us and will never understand what we go through. 
I have an appointment with doctor 18th march and will defo discuss the transfer as im sure being so traumatised is no good for embryo. I feel a bit better now and my hubby and i actually seem closer as he understands how i feel. Ive also started saving already for next go, i feel like ive got to do something so we have a plan of action, but it will prob take ages tho so hoping to win the lottery asap !!!!! its still all i think about from the moment i get up to when i fall asleep but im hoping it will make me more determined to save. 

good luck everyone on your journeys to becoming mummys and thank you all so much your replies have really helped.
loads of love to you all, and yes im off now to drink wine and loads of soft cheese ha ha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


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## tinydancer811 (Jan 25, 2010)

Ladies, I just wanted to say thank you to you and to you Mihu for posting this question.  I have an ET scheduled for Saturday and looked extremely knowledgeable to my doctor when I asked about suppositories (although I then got all embarrassed as he's a bit spunky and I didn't like him tell me to insert Voltaren into my 'back passage', as he put it, 2 hours before the ET!!).  He's also agreed to sedate me, which I'm really pleased about as I was getting a bit worked up about it after the last one being so unpleasant.
Was feeling like such a wimp, but was relieved to see I wasn't the only one!
Mihu, hope you are feeling OK and that your soft cheese was lysteralicious  
Thanks again girls xxx


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## misstattoo (Jun 14, 2007)

Hi all,
        I've been searching for other women who have gone through painful transfers, at last i have found some. 
  I'm almost convinced its causing my BFNs, and i want to get sedated for my next tx attempt, but i cant seem to get any info on the net about it,
  It turns out on my 6th attempt at a new clinic that I have a 90 degree angle at the neck of my uterus which stops the catheter going in smoothly, I get extreme pain.  So now i'm wondering if i got sedated,I wouldn't be aware of the pain and i wouldnt tense up so much and maybe this would help with implantation.....  i'm maybe clutching at straws but it's the last think i can think of to try....


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## jan welshy (Jan 18, 2003)

Hiya, just to echo a few comments really. Firstly so sorry this was not to be this time. secondly, although my tx's did not work, my first was really painful and very frightening as consultant had he and the nurse to push down on me whilst embryo trabsfer done (as my cervix is tilted), that was my first neg. During review I told the other consultant and he was brill. I said I did not want same consultant again and could I go sedated, he agreed and 3 more tx's under sedation were not painful and were with another consultant who was great. Talk to your consultant, as to see a different person if you feel strongly about it.
Big hugs.


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