# DRB - will this be a problem??!



## Harper14 (Sep 29, 2013)

hello everyone,

we are currently looking down the route of adoption but i have a concern which i am hoping wont be a problem.

When i was 17 i had a wildchild phase where by i lost my driving licence for drink driving & was cautioned for drunk & disorderly this was over 15 years ago and i totally learnt from my lesson it was a learning curve and since then i have been squeeky clean - does anyone have experience with this? will we be rejected on this basis?

I knew something that happened when i was so young would come back to bite me 

thanks everyone 
x


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## Miny Moo (Jan 13, 2011)

Personally I would bring this up with agencies when enquiring then at least you know where you stand with them, good luck


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## pnkrobin (Dec 19, 2011)

I hope it won't be but declare it and discuss your worries x


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

So far I'm learning that honesty is the best policy when it comes to the whole process. I don't see it being a problem at all. It was a long time ago and as long as you own up to it and tell them it was a learning curve etc, they should accept this. Don't forget they are looking for people who can relate to those who have had a difficult time, not people who have a squeaky clean past and have never done anything wrong. Our sw often takes something negative in our past and turns it into a positive, telling us our experience will help us to further understand a damaged child, or a birth parent in a bad situation.


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## Melaniesunflower (Sep 20, 2013)

My hubby lost his licence for the same thing just over 7 years ago and our LA were ok with it as it was disclosed from the start.


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## Daddyboo (Paul) (Dec 24, 2012)

Even better would be to say how it made you a stronger person as you had to overcome the situation you were in - it's better to have some colour in your past life with adoption than none at all.

Good luck

Paul x


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## skyblu (Sep 9, 2010)

My dh lost his driving licence from drinking and driving when he was a 19 yr old. He only had 3 pints but it was enough for him to be over. We told our SW on the first visit as it will show up on his CBR check anyway. It was not a problem but he was asked what he had learned from it. We have learnt you have to be very, very, honest about everything they ask you. Don't hide away anything important as they will find out. Our adoption was delayed by 12 months because dh said he didn't smoke but then was found out having a casual siggy after work which he admitted to and it was all put on stop for 12 months. This was because we were looking at children 0-2 and you can only be a smoker if you are adopting 5yrs and over!!!

Honesty is the best policy in adoption.

Skyblu.xx


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## Harper14 (Sep 29, 2013)

Thank you everyone for your replies you have made me feel better I will disclose at the very start and then like you say at least I've been honest. 

I was the same I was only just over the limit and 17 year old girl at the time it was a very hard lesson learnt as my family were mortified and I was very ashamed but it's been a learning curve and my whole adult life has been squeaky clean 

I wil keep you all posted 

Thanks again xxx


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## Frangipanii (Nov 21, 2011)

Just to put you at ease....I have a caution from ten years ago which is far.far worse than a driving conviction and I am just awaiting adoption order for my two children! We were honest from the first call as my hubby had drug convictions from his teens. So if we managed it anyone can! Obviously we had to prove ourselves and show our worth and we had to be assessed at an early panel before we went to panel but its all good. Now in bed with my son who is listening to singing in the rain with such joy on his face, cant get better than that! 
X


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## katie c (Jun 15, 2009)

As well as making the excellent point about how you've learned from it, I'd also make the point about how your family were shocked but supported you, and say if your child got into trouble at a similar age that you wouldn't be in a position to judge them harshly and be there for them.

My SW loved it when I talked about how I'd used skills learned in my job to deal with a teenager. Shows you're not just thinking 'baby baby baby' and looking at the bigger parenting picture


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## somedaysoon (Mar 7, 2013)

Also many children in the care system feel a sense of shame or that they have done something 'bad' to be taken from their parents. The shame that you felt at the time when your family found out will probably be seen as a plus as in this way you can relate to how your little adopted child may feel. Everyone out there has something in their past that they aren't proud of but have learned from.  Wishing you all the best. x


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