# Top tips for accepting being a dried up old hag gracefully :)



## Karbea

Hello,

I need to accept that I'm probably going to be childless. Anyone got any tips for having a fulfilling and worthwhile life without having children?
I don't work, so I've all the time in the world to dedicate to something that's not a baby...


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## Stubborn

It's pants isn't it?  Especially when everyone is harping on about how Christmas is for families (by which they mean children...).
We have our pets, including a staffy who was in a pound and due to be put down as they couldn't find a rescue with a space for her. She is our baby and is a joy.  It's not the same thing though...

I am on hrt so am a dried up old hag too.  I will get used to it I'm sure, but it does take some getting used to  

Take care honey  

S x


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## Karbea

Thanks stubborn. I've 4 furry babies (cats) and I keep asking my boy cat when will he turn into a real little boy (Pinocchio style!) - I think he and my DH think I'm mad!

Yep families means children. I'm very keen to get a dog and I was telling my parents that when I do I'm going to take him/her everywhere with me, my mum said I won't be able to take him to shops etc, which I think is very unfair, I'm sure he/she will be better behaved than most children/babies. I think I'm loosing the plot!


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## crazyroychick

Not the only one, lost the plot about round 2, have one gorgeous wee doggy and tried to get another at start of the week but my other dog didn't want to share and wanted to eat her!

We are at the end of the road for our biological child and don't no whether to adopt or use donor, why is this so hard!!!! Xx


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## Stubborn

Well, when I make cakes I let our dog lick the bowl! She is totally a child substitute!  
Maybe you could get involved in cat rescue? I am involved in with a dog rescue (which is how we ended up with our dog!) and help raise money, awareness etc.  I'm sure there are plenty of cats in shelters too if that is your thing. I pour nearly all my maternal instinct into animals, with a small amount left over to be 'mumsy' at work (I work at an FE college) 

Keeping busy, avoiding pregnant ladies and small children (where possible) and counting blessings all help.  
Although in the middle of the night they don't quite help enough do they  

S x

(ps I'm sure your dog will be a lot better behaved than some children, let's face it - that won't be difficult  )


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## Karbea

We thought about adoption, attended an open morning at our local authority at the end of nov. DH decided it wasn't for him, and tbh I think he is right really, he has a very busy job and couldn't commit the time to it. Last three night he has left at 7 in the morning and got home at midnight tonight he is staying in a hotel  

I love dogs, cats are really dhs thing, although I love all animals, cats are just too independent to be real child substitutes ( they are more like teenagers!).

I do need to fill my time, I don't work and live in a very family friendly town where I have no friends ( we moved here because it would be great for when we have children   ) I wish we'd moved into central London into a cool apartment now! But hey I'm stuck in suburbia... The only childless sahw in the village comes to mind


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## Caz

Hi ladies, just feel I need to post a little reminder that this section of FF is for all those who have, sadly, come to the decision not to pursue further treatment, and / or look at other options to the path to parenthood. Essentially it is for all those who will never, ever be parents. 
This is a safe haven for all those people, and a place where they can share and support each other, free of any and all talk of babies and / or tx or other treatment: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=178432.0

For those who are at the point of deciding, or perhaps on last attempts or at the crossroads on the ongoing journey, you will find that this section is more appropriate for your needs: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=539.0

Or for more general emotional support during your journey: http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?board=554.0

Regards
Caz


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## Debs

Hi Karbea,

You know you don't have to be a dried up old hag  Life can be good again - we have to somehow find a path that interests us and take the opportunity's from there - its not easy but sometimes things come to us when we least expect it.

For me - I love holidays - planning them and doing them and just cheeky little breaks away - I just need to work to pay for them   I have a job I enjoy so I appreciate I'm lucky in that respect 

If you are interested in volunteering then why not take a look at the various opportunities here:

http://www.do-it.org.uk/

Might be something there that might interest you? and of course it would be so rewarding being able to do something to help others. I'm toying with the idea of doing something with the elderly. This time of year I always worry about them  it can be such a hard time of year for them as well as us.

Or how about starting a business from home - maybe even just on-line selling or being a mystery shopper (id quite like to do that )

Have you any ideas on what you would like to do with your time?

Hope you come up with something to help - but if you need any help just shout us - we will help where we can.

Love

Debs xxx


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