# can you offer advise please



## tegg (Apr 17, 2010)

this is a question copied that i put in peer support pre treatment area and it was suggested i try here...


"hi this is going to sound mad my niece by marriage has offered to be a donor. she 25 not in relationship and not got any children while part of me wants to jump at the oppertunity i dont feel it is right as it could i know small chance but it could bugger up her chances of children in future...  please what do others thinks is there any where i can get more information on the risks for donors.... I know this is amazing offer but i so unsure..."

what i didnt make clear which i would like advise on..

the biggest concern for me is what are the risks to donor.
what are the risks to her fertility.
i only had inital appointment with clinic so dont know if they would concider a women who not had children.
is there any where i can get reading material from, 

thanks T x


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Hi, the risk to fertility I suppose would be if she got OHSS and suffered some sort of damage that way or an infection after Egg collection. The chance is very slim indeed.

However, a clinic may be reluctant to accept a donor without children as her feelings towards the child may be an issue, esp if she never went on to have her own children.

Going through an egg donation cycle is pretty gruelling, I will never forget how awful I felt being with my friend through egg collection, it still makes me shiver.. and she got OHSS after too which was pretty awful. Then the fresh cycle was a BFN, we were both very upset after all she had gone though. Luckily because we had frosties we had the chance at FET which was successful... but it would have left a very bad taste in our mouths if the fresh cycle failed and we had to decide whether to do another.. I am pretty sure she would have offered but not sure I could have accepted. Having an anonymous donor avoids the need to see what is involved, you see... and if it's  an eggsharer, at least there is a direct benefit to them... and abroad the donors are "paid"

It's a bit of a shock seeing your nearest and dearest go through it, TBH. I hadn't done IVF myself so it was all a bit of a shock.

Sorry, that all sounds very negative... but I can see you are concerned for the wellbeing of your niece, and I can see these issues would definitely arise, whereas the potential damage to fertility is only a tiny chance.

I think my friend/donor would chat to you if it would help?


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## tegg (Apr 17, 2010)

Thank you so much sounds crazy as i would love the eggs to be hers but I wanted negitive side of things I could never forgive myself if anything stopped her from having children but dont know enough to tell her all the bad stuff and i want her to realise that not her i rejecting but the risks.... but as i said a part of me would love it to be her.  
thanks again.


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## drownedgirl (Nov 12, 2006)

Some info here:

http://www.ivf-infertility.com/ivf/standard/complications/index.php

http://www.ivf1.com/egg-donor-risk/

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v442/n7103/full/442607a.html

http://www.2womenshealth.com/10-Infertility-Treatments/10-27-Infertility-Egg-Donation.htm


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## tegg (Apr 17, 2010)

thanks for the links very very help ful.
tess x


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