# Only child syndrome!



## 2ndtimeround (Feb 8, 2012)

Rant warning.........

Went to my sons preschool last night to see how my DS is getting on. They said lots and lots of lovely things, he's so bright, chatty, funny etc etc, really impressed with his reading and writing skills and think he is definately ready to start school in september...

the negative side? that he's not very good with sharing. Ok i don't mind that, something to work on at home. HOWEVER the lady then went on to say "oh yes must be only child syndrome. we have lots of those only children at preschool and they do struggle with it. they would be much better at sharing if they had a sibling"!!!!!!    

oh my gosh i was       i obviously haven't told them, but i'm half way through an ivf cycle right now!!!! How insensitive is that. Its not a CHOICE that my DS has no sibilings, we've been trying for almost 3 years now. way to make me feel guilty!!! She could have suggested ways of sharing at home or somthing else but what did she expect me to do, go home and tell DH we need another child ASAP?!


AHHHHHHH why are people so insensitive?    


Sorry i know i'm a bit oversensitive at the moment but still


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

hi 2ndtimearound,

what an awful woman!! i would have a quiet word with her and let her know how offended you are.  if you feel you cant do that, can you have a word with someone above her? what the woman said is absolutley not true! i know this from personal experience.  my eldest s nearly 17 now and for 12 long years he was an only child. when he was 12, my mddle son came along (ICSI) and the gap was far too big for LO to really learn from big bro. big bro wasnt interested in a new baby.  my eldest never learnt to share really,  always thought this was down to 'only child syndrome'. how wrong was i? we celebrated my mid son 2nd bday with a shock bfp.  my mid son is now 5 and youngest is now 2.6 yrs. do they share? do they hell as like? they always want the toy the other 1 has got, and they fight, scream, kick and hit each other to get the toy off one another. i spend most of my day as a referee. we have tried the buying 'sharing' toys, and games to play together - does it work? does it heck!

with your ds being at preschool - i take it hes 2.5 - 3 yrs.  no child of this age typically shares.at that age, if they want something, then they want it now and dont understand that taking it off other people is wrong and hurtful. that comes later, hopefully! (please god). if you can get over her hurtful comments just think balls to you and if not, have a word with either her or her supervisor. failing that, write a letter to them, to clarify that personal comments like that will not be tolerated.

i hope it works out for you

jade xx


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## 2ndtimeround (Feb 8, 2012)

Jade,

Thankyou so much. I'm not one of those mums who thinks their child is absolutly perfect and I know there's some behaviour things we can work on. But what upset me was the lady kept saying that it is simply because he is an only child! What did she expect me to do about it and what business is it of hers?!!? I'm currently injecting myself with hormones at the moment, so not a good time to hear things like that, i think about it often enough. And reassuring to know that it isn't just because he's an only child, but more because hes a 3 (nearly 4) year old boy!! 

Thankyou for your support and not making me feel like I'm just being silly and overeacting!


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## tori_uk (Jan 30, 2013)

The exact same thing happened to me! My DS is 4 and his pre-school teacher gave him a great report but said that he is bad at sharing and that must be because he is an only child! I am an only child and I know that we get bad press all the time. I have had it my whole life! However, I also know plenty of children who have siblings and don't share and are thoroughly spoiled! Only children need to be given a break!


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## bagpuss1 (Feb 26, 2005)

My daughters teacher said that her listening skills in class were so bad because she was an only child and was so used to getting one to one attention........ I was so bl**dy cross!


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## vickym1984 (Jan 29, 2009)

Gosh, I have friends with 4 year olds who have siblings, liek 1.5-2 yrs old and none of the 4 year olds are good at sharing, especially not with their siblings so the pre-school teacher is talking out of her bottom. Good luck with your IVF cycle hun, we had IVF for first time around  but I sometimes nosey on here as its busier than TTC another miracle and sometimes I feel guilty if I whinge on my normal boards, as although she was IVF, we do have a child as well, so sort of fit in here, hope you all dont mind xxx


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## springsunshine (Apr 4, 2009)

HI

I've got 3 year old twins boys. The teacher is talking a load of rubbish! 

My boys argue, whinge, fight etc a lot. Sometimes they share, but they always want what the other one has even if it is exactly the same. Our preschool said that my boys were reluctant to let others play with the toys - you can't win   

x x x


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## jdm4tth3ws (May 20, 2012)

i hope your stimms are going well.  quite honestly, only chld syndrome doesnt exist.  my dh comes from a family of four boys. he's the eldest, 2nd bro 2yrs younger, 3rd bro 5 yrs younger and 4th bro 10 yrs younger. even now at 31, they still fight and bicker   when will these boys EVER grow UP!

seriously though, take some time to think and if youre stll upset,write to her supervisor - You dont need the added stress

my fingers are crossed for you

xxxxxx


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## 2ndtimeround (Feb 8, 2012)

Thankyou all, I really appreciate the reassuance. 

It just hurt so much as though my lifestyle choice had directly impacted my DS but I know I am so desperate to give him a sibling. But don't think that will make him share any better haha!


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