# anyone heard of flare cycle in ivf? panicsticken and not myself please help



## celeste6 (Jan 10, 2006)

Hi all

i am sitting here feeling the hysteria rise and feel unable to cope. Dont know why i feel like this and why now. I am going for my first ultrasound tomorrow to my ivf clinic in Dublin ireland. This is our 2nd attempt and they have given us a very low chance of sucess. I am taking Buserlin injections twice a day and expect medication to be greatly increased tomorrow. I am 48 so yes know time is literally galloping away from me. The last time sept 05 they got just one egg highest grade. but was unsuccessful. my oestrial levels have shot up since then and i have a dread that they wont get any eggs at all this time.
We are on a flare cycle because of my age and notice the meds have shot up since last time. has anyone heard of a flare cycle and could you explain it to me.
I know this is our last chance and i feel as if im losing my mind. Feel panic stricken - didnt expect to feel like this. I do have reserves of strenght at bad times but feel i cant cope at the moment. We havent even really started yet and i dont know if i can go on with it. 
Has anyone ever felt like this.
Please reply if you can
this site is the onl y thing that keeps me going
thanks and love
c


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## Ginger (Jul 17, 2003)

Hi c

So sorry to read that you're having a hard time at the moment. It sounds as if you really are suffering and I don't know what to say that might help you, except to say that you are not alone. Does your partner know how you are feeling? I know it's hard sometimes to be honest with those closest to us, just when you need support the most. 

I've had a "flare" cycle - also called the short protocol (as oppoese to the long protocol) the main difference is that the boosting hormones are started earlier in the menstrual cycle to take advantage of the initial release of your naturally produced hormones. AFAIK it is more commonly used for older women or those with a history of poor response on the longer protocol. Sometimes the oral contraceptive pill is given during the month prior to stimulation (the microdose flare protocol).

Now that's what I know from my own experience. More important is how you are feeling now, and the support available to you. Does your clinic offer counselling? Is it something you would consider as an opportunity to talk to someone in a safe and confidential environment? Fertility treatment is so tough on its own, let alone when all sorts of hormones are thrown in the mix - it can be a tough time. Many women find counselling is a good opportunity to rant and vent their feelings without alarming their partners, it can help you to feel "normal".

You are not alone and I wish you the very best of luck for your scan and hope and pray for you that you get a good response from your treatment and the result that will make your dreams come true. 

Please let us know how you are doing.

Ginger xx


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Celeste

Just wanting to wish you good luck with your treatment.  I know myself how stressful it feels when you feel that time is running out but I would suggest trying to focus on taking things step by step (and try to put the "last chance" thing to the back of your mind so that you can concentrate instead on getting through each stage of the treatment). I know this is easier said that done but it's an approach that certainly helps me. (Otherwise, my mind rushes on to cross all sorts of bridges before I get anywhere near them).  Bachs Rescue Remedy is also strongly recommended if you haven't already tried it.  As Ginger says, you are not alone so vent as much as you like on this site, and it might well be worth considering speaking to a counsellor.  It's only normal to panic and have doubts but I am sure you will find the strength to continue.


Best wishes

Ellie


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## celeste6 (Jan 10, 2006)

dear Ellie and Ginger
Thank you do much for replying. Yes youre right Ginger i did take the pill for 2 months and just stopped taking it a few days ago. i feel happy  to know it makes sense that i am on the flare cycle. i havtnt told DP because hes already up the wall with things going on in work and the IVF and paying for it and so on. ALso i dont want to talk to him about it - i dont know why.Ellie that what i do too rush ahead in my mind and try and be ready for all emergencies...
I was watching Emmerdale last night and VIV told BOb she wanted a baby and and Bob said for gods sake VIv youre almost 50 years old are you mad - or something along those lines - is he right? I watch mothers with small children alot and the thing that strikes me is that they are all so young. i dont look my age but still i wouldnt pass for a 30 or even a 35 year old. If i look rough in the morning i always think to myself - what right do you have to expect a baby at your age - youre pathetic.
dont know where all that came from - writing it down seems to help.
I m just getting the train in an hour and have to paint my toenails for the dreaded ultra sound. Will let you know how i get on.
Again thank you so much both of you.
Wish you well
Celeste


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## Ginger (Jul 17, 2003)

Hi Celeste

I'm glad to read you are a bit calmer this morning - and that writing it down is a help - just think if you could talk/rant to a counsellor how that might feel? 

I went to an infertility counsellor for 6 months and it was great - I could get all sorts of stuff off my chest that I was afraid to say to other people - I didn't want to worry anyone, especially DH and I thought I was going mad, so was afraid of alarming people. As it happens I'm not mental, I'm perfectly normal and the counsellor helped me realise that, and I remind myself regularly!!

BTW - I watch Emmerdale too and so what if Viv appears mad - she's human too .......I'd love to see Emmerdale do this story line in a sympathetic manner.

You're not pathetic Celeste - you are human, you're strong and you're not alone. I look forward to hearing how you get on at your U/S today.

Ginger xxx


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## ♥Meerkat♥ (Nov 14, 2005)

Hi Celeste 

Just wanted to wish you all the best with your treatment  

Keep strong and don't forget your not on your own with FF

It made me smile when you said you had to paint your toenails for the ultra sound   just like me!  

Take care and let us know how you get on

Meerkat x


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Hi Celeste
You are not mad and you are not alone. This is not your last chance either. I am going to be doing a 3rd cycle with my own eggs, and if that fails, then DE is what I am considering my last chance. 

Are you undertaking any complementary therapies to help you relax ? Or Protein to boost your egg quality ? 

Take care and make sure those toe nails don't have any smudges  . 

Lx


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## celeste6 (Jan 10, 2006)

Ginger -Yes writing is down does seem to help and its good to know Im not alone. No one except someone who has gone thru it knows what this is like. Never thought about going to an infertility counselor – but have been for bereavement counseling etc and never found it very helpful. Think I will look in to it though when all this is over. Merkaat Yes I shaved my legs and painted my toenails glad to hear you do it too. Its almost as important as bringing the notes and the cheque book!!! 
Lorri Please let me know about Protein I heard other ladies talking about protein drinks – is this what you  mean – or is it something I should buy in the Health shop. Let me know and I will whiz in to town and buy it. I am already on lots of vitamins. But feel my diet is not as good as it should be but when I think about it I don’t know what else to do – protein in a capsule sounds the solution. Any other suggestions to boost my eggs?.
Well I got the train yesterday and met this really nice older lady on the train she talked about knitting most of the way and another elderly lady joined in they both offered me a sandwich –(sandwiches are 4.95 on the train!! Imagine). 
Every second I thought I was going to burst in to tears and I must say those 2 ladies must have been sent to keep me calm – I never strike up conversations like that on the train. Got the Luas which is the new trams we have in Dublin and this lady stood in the aisle with a medium sized case and blocked the way. Several people politely asked her to move but she said she couldn’t she had a case in front of her. I heard someone say its your case lift it up and put in on a seat so we can all get on. Then I realized it was me talking. She did lift it and a few people said good on ya girl to me – so I went from sniveling wretch to attilla the hun in a few minutes.

Got to the clinic and DP was waiting for me - he works in Dublin. Went to ultra sound room they asked if I wanted DP there I said NO. Got undressed and put blanket over me then the nurse came in and dimmed the lights (not like NHS where bright lights shine down no matter how you cringe) She made the whole thing seem so normal and yes iwas glad I shaved my legs. She said everything was perfect and we went out to the her office (igot dressed first) DP then came in and I was put on Clexane injections once a day at the same time every day which is important. Also baby aspirin and 5 predisinole tabs a day.
Plus my buserlin injections twice a day and a mixture of  Puragon and Menapur once a day in a huge needle at roughly the same time every day.
Then we went and got our invoice €4070.00. which we have budgeted for – we have to pay them next week. is this roughly what it costs in UK? would be interested to know. the invoice says ICSI PLUS ASSISTED HATCHING.anyone know why it doesnt say IVF and what does ICSI mean?
Then we got in to the car and I started balling my head off. Sean DP was very supportive and we had our chat in the car outside the clinic with me in floods of tears and him holding 2 icecream cones in his hands that he had  just bought as a treat. So that was good felt a lot better after it.
Then last night I gave myself the injections Sean got greener and greener as he tried to stick the needle in – I made him mix the injection and make tea afterward and hot toast but the needles weren’t nice at all. They really stung and the mixture with the big needle was painful.
I have suspended work for 6 weeks from this Monday. I temp and told them I wanted the time off. Lucky for me I could do this. I think I owe it to myself – to do the best I can. 
Will miss the money but that’s all.
Stayed in bed late and here I am writing to you all. Feel better from talking to you and realizing I am not alone – its hard to express these things but thanks Friends from the bottom of my heart.

Lotsa love from Niamh Ps and i turned on the heating early and intend to keep it on all day - hows that that for living it large!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to hell with the expense


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## Ginger (Jul 17, 2003)

Hi there

Thanks for letting us know how you got on. Sounds like you had a busy day. I have a sister called Niamh - I love the name.

ICSI (Intra Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection) is when the embryologist injects a single sperm in to individual eggs – straight IVF is when they mix eggs and sperm in a petri dish and hope for the best! ICSI is usually suggested if there is a shortage of sperm.

My IVF, in the UK was £1900 plus approx £900 for drugs, ICSI (although we didn’t have it) is an additional £500 and assisted hatching is approx £400. So your invoice seems reasonable to me.

Your DP sounds like a darling – getting icecream, how lovely - sorry he’s a big squeamish about the injections – he might get better in the next day or so. Did the clinic give you injection lessons to start you off?

Well done for taking time off work to concentrate on yourself and this treatment cycle. It’s good that you can get your priorities in order. I work part-time since after our first IVF failed more than 2 years ago – yes I miss the money but I love the luxury of time and not making excuses at work and telling lies etc. The one thing money can't buy is time.

I hope the injections go smoothly. Let us know when you’re back in the clinic to see how your stimming is going.

Best of luck to you

Ginger xxx


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## Lorri (Apr 17, 2005)

Hi Niamh

The protein supplement I have is a drink. Lots of others have recommend Solgar Whey to Go ( or something), another protein drink, there is much mention of it on prenatal or complementary board. Its best to take it whilst stimming, but not after. Also nuts and seeds are a good source too, and of course green leafy veg.  

Your invoice sounds cheap to me. Both my tx have cost £6-£7K ! 

I am coming to Dublin next week, for a few days break, my first time in Ireland, and am really excited !!  

Take care, and good luck  

Lx


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## Womb with a View (Dec 7, 2004)

Hi Niamh - I hope you are feeling much more centred and peaceful over the weekend.  I read your posting and really felt for you.  I have just turned 47 and I know the pain you are feeling.  Yes, we have a tendancy to jump ahead in our minds to "what if and what if not", which really isn't helpful or even realistic sometimes.  You are not alone here.  You will always be understood and cared for every step of the way.  It's also important to get someone near you to support you - probably an IVF counsellor.  

Acupuncture is also supposed to be helpful in stimulating the reproductive system.  I have acupuncture for my womb lining, to thicken it up and help blood flow to it as I am having donor eggs.  It can also help with egg production and follicle stimulation.  Best to find someone who's had experience in the world of fertility or someone who's had a lot of experience in general.  It balances out ying and yang in the body.  Chinese medicine (re Chinese herbs) are also very good combined with the acupuncture.  

You are NOT mad......the fact that you were concerned about painted toenails for your scan is certainly quite normal!   I've done this......as if the doctor is looking at our toes!  I certainly hope not, with all the money we pay them!  You made me smile.  

Great idea taking time off work.  I wish I'd done this.  Can't affort to unfortunately but the next frozen cycle I do (which may be in the next month) I will take 2 and a half weeks off.

Folic acid, a good supply of the important vitamins and protein.  You can get these in supplements but I'm sure the real stuff via food must be better, although I too take Pregnacare which is a multi vitamin with folic acid.  Not cheap but worth it.  I believe the Zita West clinic in London have a vast range of vitamins to help you and your DP.  I think we sometimes ignore our partner's diet and vitamin intake.  Maybe you could look at that too.

Relaxation is a must I think, little or no stress.  Meditation is good for us, if you can do that or join a group.  Exercise is good, but check with your doctor and I wouldn't think vigourous exercise would be recommended.  Just enough to get the blood flowing.

I believe EFA (essential fatty acids) are very good for us - oily fish is a good source and you can take a supplement too.  These are never cheap but worth it. 

It's great that us ladies can help ourselves I suppose!

I hope this is helpful and that you get your dream.  Stay positive and stay in the moment if you can.  My sister has 2 IVF children and the last one she gave birth to was 4 months ago at the age of 45 with her own eggs.  There is hope. 

I've found that the IVF journey has brought my DP and I closer, if that were possible!  It's good that your DP is supportive to you.  Make sure he gets his rest and sleep too, as well as little stress which is important.  

A massive hug from your FF sisters, AJ xx


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## Dobby (Oct 23, 2005)

Hi celeste6

They may have suggested ICSI if they expect that they may not get loads of eggs.... I just had the same thing and had 6 eggs in total, of which the consultant recommended ICSI in order to get absolutely the highest fertilisation rate, even though DP has no issues with his sperm!! (bless!!).

Of the 6 retrieved, only 4 were any good - we had ICSI on the lot and got 3 lovely grade 1 or 2 embryos... obviously we don't know if the outcome would have been the same had we had plain IVF, but I feel we had the best chance given that we had such a small number of eggs.  

You are a little older than me, so it may be the same for you?

Very best wishes and lots and lots of luck to you.......

Dobby


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