# Believe that I am menopausal, but is there still hope?



## SuzanneM (Sep 16, 2009)

*Where to begin?! Ok, I am coming up to 41 and have not had a period for nearly a year. Did have tests and was told that next year, I would be starting menopause and that I should have bled this year! About 3 year's ago - not sure as time goes by so fast -, had a d&c to remove excess oestrogen from my uterus. About 6 month's after this, I believe that I fell pregnant, but lost the baby. This was a miracle in itself as my husband is completely sterile  Nobody believed me and a doctor even said that the d&c I had rendered me infertile which I knew was not correct as I went from a 7 day period to a 4 day for 2 years after the op! He then said that symptoms of pregnancy are often seen after this kind of d&c, but after 6 months?! I have been pregnant once before due to artificial insemination, but our baby died inside me. So I recognised signs but did not want to get too hyped up. It was a friend who said I should take a test because it is strange that my bust was sooo horribly sore and went up a size! I was also frequantly visiting the toilet. Anyway, took a test, but the window showing that the test worked did not light up - yet the one for yes or no, did light up and very brightly too! About a week later, I had the most horrible pain and went to the toilet and a clot as big as my hand came out! After that - no more sore breasts!*

*I suppose this is two fold. First, is it possible for a sterile man to suddenly become fertile? And is there a chance that I may still have an egg? Oh, I know that I have to go to the doctor to find out, but I feel that I need to have some knowledge first.*

*I have tried to resign myself to not ever being a mother. We have thought about adopting, but it is not easy. I do feel guilty for wanting a child when there are so many children out there, who need our love! The trouble is I know 8 women who are pregnant now and it is torturous! This is not a wim: ie they are having babies so I want one too! We have been married for 19 years and 18 of those, have suffered this terrible pain of not being parents.*

*By the way, I live in France, so it is not so easy to find answers here.*

*I feel so lost and scared.*

*Could really do with some help.*

*Suzanne  *


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## Sarana37 (Mar 6, 2010)

Dear Suzanne,

I can well understand your sense of urgency and loss.  

However, hope is more powerful than you can imagine. I can't speak about whether you could be menopausal or not. Some people do experience that earlier than others. However, even f you are not having periods and ovulating, that would not eliminate the possibility of egg donor or embryo adoption. There are several links about that on this site. 

Don't despair - there are still options! A friend of mine gave birth aged 44 for the first time just a few months ago, on her first attempt at IVF! Of course it's not always that easy, but you have come to the right place here, in terms of getting information and support. Keep reading up and I'm sure you will gain encouragement from all the people in similar situation who write on this site,

Take courage,

Sarana


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## Ellie.st (Mar 11, 2005)

Dear Suzanne

   

I'm sorry that I don't know the answers to your questions.  I think that it would be best if you went back to your doctor and asked for FSH/AMH tests and progesterone tests as this would help give you a better picture of what is happening with your body, and you can then start getting advice about what your next steps might be.  I don't know how things work in France, but it may be that you need your doctor to refer you to a specialist fertility clinic to get the correct tests done and to get expert advice.  GPs are often not experts in fertility matters.

As Sarana says, please don't despair - there are always options - and sometimes unexpected miracles too (see my profile  ).

Good luck

Ellie


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